WEBVTT FILE 1 00:00:02.000 --> 00:00:07.000 Downloaded from YTS.MX 2 00:00:02.036 --> 00:00:03.271 * MTV. * 3 00:00:08.000 --> 00:00:13.000 Official YIFY movies site: YTS.MX 4 00:00:09.177 --> 00:00:13.514 NARRATOR: And now, a Paramount Plus made-for-TV movie. 5 00:00:13.614 --> 00:00:17.618 "It's not a movie-- it's a made-for-TV movie." 6 00:00:18.486 --> 00:00:20.788 * * 7 00:00:20.888 --> 00:00:22.723 NARRATOR: From the green hills of Vermont 8 00:00:22.823 --> 00:00:24.892 to the verdant canyons of Arizona, 9 00:00:24.992 --> 00:00:27.961 people all over the country are beginning to realize 10 00:00:28.062 --> 00:00:29.863 it's nearly over! 11 00:00:29.963 --> 00:00:34.034 We have almost beaten COVID and the best news of all: 12 00:00:36.904 --> 00:00:38.939 Infections are at an all-time low. 13 00:00:39.039 --> 00:00:41.675 New, stronger vaccinations have ebbed the tide. 14 00:00:41.775 --> 00:00:43.911 And we humans are cleaning up the mess 15 00:00:44.011 --> 00:00:46.347 and finally getting on with our lives. 16 00:00:46.447 --> 00:00:49.650 But as we start to get back to our jobs and schools, 17 00:00:49.750 --> 00:00:51.452 one question remains: 18 00:00:51.552 --> 00:00:55.256 What lingering effects will the pandemic have on children? 19 00:00:55.356 --> 00:00:58.959 Some say no effect at all. The children are just fine. 20 00:00:59.059 --> 00:01:00.628 -(chiming) -We came together 21 00:01:00.728 --> 00:01:02.130 and finally we can say, we are starting to 22 00:01:02.230 --> 00:01:04.198 -win the war against COVID. -WOMAN: Stan? 23 00:01:04.298 --> 00:01:06.200 Stan, the phone's for you! 24 00:01:06.300 --> 00:01:07.835 Stan! 25 00:01:07.935 --> 00:01:10.304 What?! 26 00:01:10.404 --> 00:01:12.340 Could you not hear me? 27 00:01:12.440 --> 00:01:14.642 Yeah, dude, but I'm busy working. 28 00:01:14.742 --> 00:01:16.477 Working on getting drunk again. 29 00:01:16.577 --> 00:01:18.011 I'm not "getting drunk," 30 00:01:18.112 --> 00:01:20.080 I'm an online whiskey consultant. 31 00:01:20.181 --> 00:01:21.415 I'm doing research. 32 00:01:21.515 --> 00:01:23.451 Everyone needs to leave me alone. 33 00:01:23.551 --> 00:01:25.486 The guy on the phone said it's important. 34 00:01:25.586 --> 00:01:28.722 He said his name is Kyle Broflovski. 35 00:01:29.857 --> 00:01:31.091 Kyle? 36 00:01:33.794 --> 00:01:35.696 -Hello? -KYLE: Oh, hi. 37 00:01:35.796 --> 00:01:39.367 Is this Stan Marsh, from South Park? 38 00:01:39.467 --> 00:01:42.035 -Kyle? -Oh, dude, it is you! 39 00:01:42.136 --> 00:01:44.205 How have you-- How have you been? 40 00:01:44.305 --> 00:01:46.807 I'm... fine. How are you? 41 00:01:46.907 --> 00:01:48.242 I'm good, I'm... 42 00:01:48.342 --> 00:01:50.678 I know this is weird. We haven't talked since... 43 00:01:50.778 --> 00:01:52.713 well, you know, since it all happened. 44 00:01:52.813 --> 00:01:56.417 Yeah, well, the pandemic is about over now. 45 00:01:56.517 --> 00:01:57.918 I'm moving on with my life. 46 00:01:58.018 --> 00:02:00.421 Stan... you should come back here. 47 00:02:00.521 --> 00:02:02.556 There's a lot going on. 48 00:02:02.656 --> 00:02:05.193 There's nothing in South Park for me, Kyle! 49 00:02:05.293 --> 00:02:07.195 I'm not going back there, ever. 50 00:02:07.295 --> 00:02:09.630 Look, dude, you remember when we were little? 51 00:02:09.730 --> 00:02:11.699 When the pandemic... first started. 52 00:02:11.799 --> 00:02:13.434 Us friends said we'd always be there 53 00:02:13.534 --> 00:02:14.802 for each other when things got bad. 54 00:02:14.902 --> 00:02:17.238 What do you mean? What's happened? 55 00:02:17.338 --> 00:02:18.606 Stan... 56 00:02:18.706 --> 00:02:21.775 It's Kenny. He's dead. 57 00:02:21.875 --> 00:02:23.911 * * 58 00:02:36.023 --> 00:02:38.626 * * 59 00:02:38.726 --> 00:02:41.195 (audience cheering) 60 00:02:41.295 --> 00:02:43.364 ANNOUNCER: Live from the Moderna Center 61 00:02:43.464 --> 00:02:44.832 in downtown New York, 62 00:02:44.932 --> 00:02:46.867 it's Late Night With Jimmy! 63 00:02:47.868 --> 00:02:51.239 Tonight's guest, First Lady Tom Kardashian! 64 00:02:51.339 --> 00:02:55.976 And now here he is, the king of woke comedy, Jimmy! 65 00:02:56.076 --> 00:02:58.145 (audience cheering) 66 00:02:58.246 --> 00:02:59.447 Wow. 67 00:02:59.547 --> 00:03:01.649 Wow, what a terrific audience. 68 00:03:01.749 --> 00:03:04.017 What a fantastic audience, wow. 69 00:03:04.117 --> 00:03:05.386 (cheering quiets) 70 00:03:05.486 --> 00:03:08.021 Geez, what's the deal with these Mexicans, huh? 71 00:03:08.121 --> 00:03:09.290 (laughter) 72 00:03:09.390 --> 00:03:11.124 I mean, they have fabulous food, 73 00:03:11.225 --> 00:03:12.926 their country has amazing beaches, 74 00:03:13.026 --> 00:03:16.230 and they're really fantastic people. 75 00:03:16.330 --> 00:03:17.698 (cheering and applause) 76 00:03:17.798 --> 00:03:19.667 Wow, what a great audience. 77 00:03:20.568 --> 00:03:21.935 You know, today I was on the subway 78 00:03:22.035 --> 00:03:24.238 and I saw an ad for the Center for People 79 00:03:24.338 --> 00:03:27.708 Who Identify as Homosexual But Were Born Bi. 80 00:03:27.808 --> 00:03:29.277 -(laughter) -Have you seen this? 81 00:03:29.377 --> 00:03:30.544 Have you heard about this? 82 00:03:30.644 --> 00:03:32.079 I'll tell you one thing-- 83 00:03:32.179 --> 00:03:33.647 those people are brave and deserve 84 00:03:33.747 --> 00:03:36.417 -every ounce of our respect. -(cheering) 85 00:03:36.517 --> 00:03:37.851 S-Stick around. 86 00:03:37.951 --> 00:03:39.687 First Lady Tom Kardashian is here. 87 00:03:39.787 --> 00:03:41.789 We'll be right back! 88 00:03:41.889 --> 00:03:43.090 (band playing in distance) 89 00:03:43.190 --> 00:03:44.692 Jimmy, we got a call from corporate. 90 00:03:44.792 --> 00:03:46.159 They want you to cut the hummus joke. 91 00:03:46.260 --> 00:03:47.395 What?! 92 00:03:47.495 --> 00:03:49.129 It's hard enough doing comedy these days. 93 00:03:49.229 --> 00:03:50.898 Now I'm getting notes during commercial breaks?! 94 00:03:50.998 --> 00:03:53.000 You're just gonna have to joke about something else. 95 00:03:53.100 --> 00:03:55.035 All right, fine, what else is going on in the news? Quick! 96 00:03:55.135 --> 00:03:58.339 Uh, Amazon thinks they might have discovered gold on Mars. 97 00:03:58.439 --> 00:04:00.073 Ah, Jesus. Anything else? 98 00:04:00.173 --> 00:04:02.376 Uh, that famous eccentric scientist died. 99 00:04:02.476 --> 00:04:05.513 The millionaire philanthropist? Dr. McCormick? 100 00:04:06.880 --> 00:04:09.650 Kenny? Kenny's dead? 101 00:04:09.750 --> 00:04:11.352 Oh, I'm sorry, did you know him? 102 00:04:11.452 --> 00:04:13.721 We were friends when we were kids. Let me see that! 103 00:04:13.821 --> 00:04:16.023 ANNOUNCER: "Very mysterious circumstances." 104 00:04:16.123 --> 00:04:18.292 That's what doctors are saying about 105 00:04:18.392 --> 00:04:19.760 the death of beloved scientist 106 00:04:19.860 --> 00:04:22.396 and humanitarian, Dr. Kenny McCormick. 107 00:04:22.496 --> 00:04:25.299 McCormick was a pioneer of science and technology 108 00:04:25.399 --> 00:04:28.402 who was always trying to unlock the key to a better future. 109 00:04:28.502 --> 00:04:31.772 He worked tirelessly-- some say balls-out crazily-- 110 00:04:31.872 --> 00:04:33.574 on new inventions and theories 111 00:04:33.674 --> 00:04:36.710 but somehow his biggest questions seemed to elude him. 112 00:04:36.810 --> 00:04:38.879 The head of NASA said, "We have lost 113 00:04:38.979 --> 00:04:40.714 "an innovator and a visionary. 114 00:04:40.814 --> 00:04:43.016 "Kenny was so brilliant that most of the time, 115 00:04:43.116 --> 00:04:45.786 we couldn't even understand what he was saying." 116 00:04:47.120 --> 00:04:48.822 Get me a first-class ticket to South Park! 117 00:04:48.922 --> 00:04:51.625 What? You can't leave! You have to get back onstage! 118 00:04:51.725 --> 00:04:53.293 The first lady is here! 119 00:04:53.394 --> 00:04:55.095 Tell Tom Kardashian to suck my 120 00:04:55.195 --> 00:04:58.231 P-P-Popsicles that are in the green room, 121 00:04:58.332 --> 00:04:59.500 and that I am very sorry, 122 00:04:59.600 --> 00:05:01.301 and that he is a fantastic person. 123 00:05:06.139 --> 00:05:09.276 * * 124 00:05:14.448 --> 00:05:16.249 WOMAN: Stan? 125 00:05:16.350 --> 00:05:18.719 Stan, wake up, I think we're here. 126 00:05:28.762 --> 00:05:30.030 So that's it, huh? 127 00:05:30.130 --> 00:05:33.066 -That's the town you grew up in? -STAN: Yeah. 128 00:05:33.166 --> 00:05:36.770 Well, how does it feel to be back after all these years? 129 00:05:37.571 --> 00:05:40.207 It feels shitty, okay? Can you please shut the fuck up? 130 00:05:40.307 --> 00:05:42.743 Why did you even bring me along if you're not going 131 00:05:42.843 --> 00:05:44.344 to let me help you through this?! 132 00:05:44.445 --> 00:05:45.746 Alexa, stop! 133 00:05:45.846 --> 00:05:48.015 ("Stir It Up" by Patti LaBelle playing) 134 00:05:48.115 --> 00:05:50.283 (beeps) 135 00:05:50.384 --> 00:05:53.286 * * 136 00:05:59.192 --> 00:06:03.196 * I can't sit here while I go nowhere * 137 00:06:04.031 --> 00:06:08.168 * Chase my dreams through the polluted air * 138 00:06:08.268 --> 00:06:11.572 * Walking on a wire * 139 00:06:11.672 --> 00:06:13.240 * Running out of time * 140 00:06:13.340 --> 00:06:16.944 * There's no room in this ol' heart of mine * 141 00:06:17.044 --> 00:06:21.381 * So much pressure to keep holdin' on * 142 00:06:21.482 --> 00:06:27.054 * Pack my clothes up, baby, I'll be gone * 143 00:06:27.154 --> 00:06:31.124 * Stir it up, I've got to break it up now * 144 00:06:31.224 --> 00:06:32.893 * When I think about tomorrow * 145 00:06:32.993 --> 00:06:35.796 * I can't wait to * 146 00:06:35.896 --> 00:06:38.031 * Stir it up * 147 00:06:38.131 --> 00:06:39.867 * Got to shake it up now * 148 00:06:39.967 --> 00:06:42.069 * If I have to beg or borrow * 149 00:06:42.169 --> 00:06:43.671 * I don't wanna * 150 00:06:43.771 --> 00:06:46.740 * Take it anymore * 151 00:06:46.840 --> 00:06:49.009 * Got to break it up now * 152 00:06:49.109 --> 00:06:51.845 * When I think about tomorrow * 153 00:06:51.945 --> 00:06:54.515 * I can't wait to stir it up. * 154 00:06:54.615 --> 00:06:58.051 MALE VOICE: Come on in and let your taste buds soar! 155 00:06:58.151 --> 00:07:01.455 Denny's is now Denny's Applebee's Max. 156 00:07:01.555 --> 00:07:02.956 Come taste the difference. 157 00:07:03.056 --> 00:07:05.826 (woman speaking Japanese) 158 00:07:13.033 --> 00:07:17.037 (soft electronic music playing) 159 00:07:18.205 --> 00:07:20.040 (sighs) 160 00:07:21.074 --> 00:07:23.043 -Hey, dude. -Hey, dude. 161 00:07:25.078 --> 00:07:26.680 Wow. This is crazy, huh? 162 00:07:26.780 --> 00:07:28.916 I mean, how long has it been? 163 00:07:29.016 --> 00:07:31.785 I guess... since we were nine. 164 00:07:31.885 --> 00:07:33.453 Well, have a seat. 165 00:07:34.722 --> 00:07:35.923 What have you been up to? 166 00:07:36.023 --> 00:07:37.457 Oh, dude, just all kinds of stuff. 167 00:07:37.558 --> 00:07:39.026 You know, getting stuff going. 168 00:07:39.126 --> 00:07:41.695 Got my own online whiskey consultant gig. 169 00:07:41.795 --> 00:07:43.230 I'm totally happy. What about you? 170 00:07:43.330 --> 00:07:45.098 Oh, I'm getting things going, too. 171 00:07:45.198 --> 00:07:48.435 I'm doing a sort of counseling online start-up thing. 172 00:07:48.536 --> 00:07:49.837 Really doing great, too. 173 00:07:49.937 --> 00:07:52.339 -Sweet. -Listen, Stan... 174 00:07:52.439 --> 00:07:55.976 I know that we disagreed a lot during the pandemic, 175 00:07:56.076 --> 00:07:57.645 but I hope we can put that aside... 176 00:07:57.745 --> 00:08:00.247 Dude, Kyle, I'm just here for Kenny. 177 00:08:00.347 --> 00:08:01.849 All right, well, 178 00:08:01.949 --> 00:08:04.484 there's something you should know about the way Kenny died. 179 00:08:04.585 --> 00:08:07.087 Hi, guys, welcome to Denny's Applebee's Max. 180 00:08:07.187 --> 00:08:08.922 I see you got your menus already. 181 00:08:09.022 --> 00:08:10.190 As you're deciding what to order, 182 00:08:10.290 --> 00:08:11.525 I just want to go over a couple things. 183 00:08:11.625 --> 00:08:12.960 Now, of course, it is the future 184 00:08:13.060 --> 00:08:14.928 so we don't have any meat on the menu. 185 00:08:15.028 --> 00:08:16.630 'Cause you know, here in the future, 186 00:08:16.730 --> 00:08:18.866 we've all decided meat is wrong. 187 00:08:18.966 --> 00:08:20.200 Yeah, we know. 188 00:08:20.300 --> 00:08:22.035 Okay, and, uh, you'll see there's 189 00:08:22.135 --> 00:08:24.237 some dishes made from insect protein on the menu. 190 00:08:24.337 --> 00:08:26.439 That, of course, is because here in the future, 191 00:08:26.540 --> 00:08:28.341 we've all learned that insects are a valuable and sustainable 192 00:08:28.441 --> 00:08:31.645 food and we no longer fear it as a food. Mm-hmm. 193 00:08:31.745 --> 00:08:33.280 We know, dude. 194 00:08:33.380 --> 00:08:35.515 Okay, well, if you have any questions, please don't hesitate 195 00:08:35.616 --> 00:08:38.351 to say anything, because, you know, it's the future. 196 00:08:38.451 --> 00:08:41.521 We've learned to all just get along and love each other. 197 00:08:43.190 --> 00:08:45.225 Look, Stan, Kenny was trying to find 198 00:08:45.325 --> 00:08:47.460 the answers to some pretty heavy stuff. 199 00:08:47.561 --> 00:08:50.130 He felt like there were people responsible 200 00:08:50.230 --> 00:08:51.732 for everything that's happened. 201 00:08:51.832 --> 00:08:53.433 Like who? 202 00:08:53.533 --> 00:08:57.070 That's just it. Nobody knows. But whoever these people are, 203 00:08:57.170 --> 00:08:59.707 they didn't want Kenny McCormick exposing them. 204 00:08:59.807 --> 00:09:01.875 Wait a minute. Token? 205 00:09:01.975 --> 00:09:03.543 Yeah, it's me. 206 00:09:03.644 --> 00:09:05.979 Just before he died, Kenny was texting me 207 00:09:06.079 --> 00:09:07.815 that he was on to something huge. 208 00:09:07.915 --> 00:09:09.416 And he was texting me, too. 209 00:09:09.516 --> 00:09:11.018 Saying he'd discovered something that 210 00:09:11.118 --> 00:09:12.319 could change the world. 211 00:09:12.419 --> 00:09:13.654 And then he died, 212 00:09:13.754 --> 00:09:15.255 and the hospital won't say how. 213 00:09:15.355 --> 00:09:17.090 And that got us thinking... 214 00:09:17.190 --> 00:09:20.427 Oh, my God. They killed Kenny. 215 00:09:22.930 --> 00:09:24.164 I'm just here for the funeral. 216 00:09:24.264 --> 00:09:26.867 I don't want to be a part of anything else. 217 00:09:26.967 --> 00:09:28.201 Dude, there might be people to blame 218 00:09:28.301 --> 00:09:30.303 for ruining our childhoods. 219 00:09:30.403 --> 00:09:32.105 So what do you wanna do, Kyle? 220 00:09:32.205 --> 00:09:35.108 Go on some bullshit adventure like when we were kids? 221 00:09:35.208 --> 00:09:37.444 Maybe, maybe we can call Jesus and Santa 222 00:09:37.544 --> 00:09:40.547 and ask them for help. Is that what you want? 223 00:09:40.648 --> 00:09:44.184 It's the fucking future, you guys. Grow up. 224 00:09:50.023 --> 00:09:53.360 Hello, welcome to the Super 12 Motel Plus. 225 00:09:53.460 --> 00:09:55.729 -Can I help you? -Yeah, Stan Marsh. 226 00:09:55.829 --> 00:09:57.530 I have a room for one night. 227 00:09:57.631 --> 00:10:02.169 Okay, I see you're in one of our Mach Ten Super Plus rooms. 228 00:10:02.269 --> 00:10:04.571 Now, of course, we only take Bitcoin 229 00:10:04.672 --> 00:10:06.106 and other cryptocurrency 'cause, 230 00:10:06.206 --> 00:10:07.607 you know, it's the future. 231 00:10:07.708 --> 00:10:09.609 We've all decided centralized banking is rigged, 232 00:10:09.710 --> 00:10:12.479 so we trust more in fly-by-night Ponzi schemes. 233 00:10:12.579 --> 00:10:14.081 Yeah, I know. 234 00:10:17.384 --> 00:10:19.319 So you walked out on all your friends and then 235 00:10:19.419 --> 00:10:21.188 just hung out at a bar all day? 236 00:10:21.288 --> 00:10:24.825 Alexa, fucking just go throw yourself out a window. 237 00:10:24.925 --> 00:10:27.160 I'm sorry. I didn't quite get that. 238 00:10:27.260 --> 00:10:30.463 Nothing. Alexa, turn on the TV. 239 00:10:30.563 --> 00:10:33.867 Oh, God, you are such a piece of shit. 240 00:10:33.967 --> 00:10:35.268 -(TV chimes) -You know, 241 00:10:35.368 --> 00:10:37.104 if you had Remote Prime membership, 242 00:10:37.204 --> 00:10:39.106 you could watch Amazon movies wherever you go. 243 00:10:39.206 --> 00:10:40.674 Would you like to get started? 244 00:10:40.774 --> 00:10:42.409 -No. -I'm sorry. 245 00:10:42.509 --> 00:10:44.644 I'm trying to be fucking helpful. 246 00:10:44.745 --> 00:10:47.147 Why don't you grow up and start acting like an adult 247 00:10:47.247 --> 00:10:48.615 for once in your life... 248 00:10:48.716 --> 00:10:49.817 Alexa, stop! 249 00:10:49.917 --> 00:10:51.051 Fuck you! 250 00:10:51.151 --> 00:10:53.754 (news theme volume increases) 251 00:10:53.854 --> 00:10:57.624 Jon, I'm standing outside the South Park Flash Rail Max, 252 00:10:57.725 --> 00:10:59.492 where hundreds of people are coming to 253 00:10:59.592 --> 00:11:02.495 pay their respects to Dr. Kenny McCormick. 254 00:11:02.595 --> 00:11:05.098 There's still no word from the hospital 255 00:11:05.198 --> 00:11:07.300 on what exactly killed Kenny McCormick, 256 00:11:07.400 --> 00:11:09.669 but letters sent to multiple news outlets reveal 257 00:11:09.770 --> 00:11:12.439 that he might have known his life was in danger. 258 00:11:12.539 --> 00:11:16.643 Dr. McCormick said, "I am about to expose the truth. 259 00:11:16.744 --> 00:11:19.112 "In the event of my death I have hidden away 260 00:11:19.212 --> 00:11:20.714 "all relevant information. 261 00:11:20.814 --> 00:11:23.717 My closest friends will know where to find it." 262 00:11:23.817 --> 00:11:25.385 Dr. Kenneth McCormick. 263 00:11:25.485 --> 00:11:28.255 He wanted to make the future a better place. 264 00:11:28.355 --> 00:11:32.259 Too bad he died, 'cause the future certainly sucks. 265 00:11:33.493 --> 00:11:35.528 * * 266 00:11:43.003 --> 00:11:44.037 (doorbell rings) 267 00:11:44.137 --> 00:11:46.373 * Someone's at the door * 268 00:11:46.473 --> 00:11:48.375 * This is the doorbell * 269 00:11:48.475 --> 00:11:51.879 * It's the future so doorbells sing. * 270 00:11:51.979 --> 00:11:54.047 Yeah, I know. 271 00:11:54.982 --> 00:11:56.784 Okay, so you were right. 272 00:11:56.884 --> 00:11:58.318 Kenny was on to some bad people 273 00:11:58.418 --> 00:12:00.387 and he hid something for us to find. 274 00:12:00.487 --> 00:12:02.222 Yeah, I saw. Only problem is 275 00:12:02.322 --> 00:12:03.656 I don't know what he's talking about. 276 00:12:03.757 --> 00:12:05.625 But thank you for saying I was right. 277 00:12:05.725 --> 00:12:07.560 You're welcome. It doesn't mean that you were right 278 00:12:07.660 --> 00:12:08.929 about everything during the pandemic. 279 00:12:09.029 --> 00:12:09.930 Because you weren't. 280 00:12:10.030 --> 00:12:11.498 Okay, well, obviously 281 00:12:11.598 --> 00:12:13.433 we're never going to agree on certain things, 282 00:12:13.533 --> 00:12:15.068 so we shouldn't talk about them. 283 00:12:15.168 --> 00:12:17.805 Sounds good. So let's go to Kenny's wake 284 00:12:17.905 --> 00:12:19.339 and see if anyone else shows up 285 00:12:19.439 --> 00:12:21.108 who might know what Kenny's talking about. 286 00:12:21.208 --> 00:12:23.043 Let's do that. 287 00:12:26.579 --> 00:12:28.615 (busy chatter) 288 00:12:30.617 --> 00:12:33.486 Hello. Testing. Hey, everybody. 289 00:12:33.586 --> 00:12:36.056 It's amazing to see you all here for Kenny's wake. 290 00:12:37.157 --> 00:12:38.725 Wow, what a great audience. 291 00:12:38.826 --> 00:12:40.327 Uh, for those of you who don't know, 292 00:12:40.427 --> 00:12:41.829 my name is Jimmy Valmer and, uh, 293 00:12:41.929 --> 00:12:44.764 I had to take an Asian airline to get here today. 294 00:12:44.865 --> 00:12:46.566 You know what they say about Asian airlines-- 295 00:12:46.666 --> 00:12:48.235 they're dependable and just as efficient 296 00:12:48.335 --> 00:12:50.103 as any other competent airline. 297 00:12:50.203 --> 00:12:52.672 (whooping and cheering) 298 00:12:52.772 --> 00:12:54.541 What a terrific audience. 299 00:12:54.641 --> 00:12:56.643 So many people have come for Kenny today-- 300 00:12:56.743 --> 00:12:59.779 so many amazing friends I haven't seen in ages. 301 00:12:59.880 --> 00:13:02.682 You know, I had a friend once who was a Polish hair stylist. 302 00:13:02.782 --> 00:13:05.685 Talk about an amazing haircut at an affordable price. 303 00:13:05.785 --> 00:13:08.288 (whooping and cheering) 304 00:13:08.388 --> 00:13:09.823 Well, I know that we're all ready 305 00:13:09.923 --> 00:13:11.791 to talk to each other and share our memories of Kenny. 306 00:13:11.892 --> 00:13:13.660 So please just have fun and we'll see you 307 00:13:13.760 --> 00:13:16.063 -at the funeral tomorrow. -(applause) 308 00:13:16.163 --> 00:13:18.999 (electronic drumbeat playing) 309 00:13:19.099 --> 00:13:21.334 * We are all, you and me * 310 00:13:21.434 --> 00:13:24.504 * We are all living in the future * 311 00:13:24.604 --> 00:13:26.673 * We are all in the future... * 312 00:13:26.773 --> 00:13:28.141 -(groans) -Stan? 313 00:13:28.241 --> 00:13:30.277 -Stan Marsh? -Yeah? 314 00:13:30.377 --> 00:13:32.679 Hi. It's Wendy. 315 00:13:32.779 --> 00:13:34.982 Wendy Testaburger, wow. 316 00:13:35.082 --> 00:13:37.050 Yeah. My husband, Darwin. 317 00:13:37.150 --> 00:13:38.718 Hey, pal, how are ya? 318 00:13:38.818 --> 00:13:40.921 Hey, guys. It's Tweek and Craig. 319 00:13:41.021 --> 00:13:42.689 Oh, hey. How are you guys? 320 00:13:42.789 --> 00:13:43.924 We're good. 321 00:13:44.024 --> 00:13:45.392 (straining): I have a lot of anxiety 322 00:13:45.492 --> 00:13:46.726 being back with all these people! 323 00:13:46.826 --> 00:13:48.595 Wendy's told me a lot about you, Stan. 324 00:13:48.695 --> 00:13:50.864 How's everything with the family? 325 00:13:50.964 --> 00:13:54.401 Excuse me, I'm gonna go get, uh, drunk. 326 00:13:54.501 --> 00:13:56.736 -What's wrong with Stan? -We're just... 327 00:13:56.836 --> 00:13:58.505 trying to find out what happened to Kenny. 328 00:13:58.605 --> 00:14:01.574 I think this goes deeper than you guys realize. 329 00:14:03.176 --> 00:14:05.979 Hey, Stan Marsh! Good to see you. 330 00:14:06.079 --> 00:14:08.081 It's me, Clyde Donovan. 331 00:14:08.181 --> 00:14:09.449 Oh, hey, Clyde. 332 00:14:09.549 --> 00:14:11.784 What have you been doing during the pandemic? 333 00:14:11.885 --> 00:14:13.386 Oh, you know, lots of stuff. 334 00:14:13.486 --> 00:14:16.423 Yeah, me, too. Sucks about Kenny, huh? 335 00:14:16.523 --> 00:14:17.590 Hope they find all the information 336 00:14:17.690 --> 00:14:19.559 -on that thing he hid. -You know 337 00:14:19.659 --> 00:14:21.128 where he might have hid it? 338 00:14:21.228 --> 00:14:24.697 No, I don't. But I bet someone here does. 339 00:14:24.797 --> 00:14:26.900 It's really great to see you guys again. 340 00:14:27.000 --> 00:14:29.502 These past few decades have been really tough. 341 00:14:29.602 --> 00:14:32.772 Yeah, sometimes I think the pandemic really aged me. 342 00:14:32.872 --> 00:14:35.475 Kyle, can I talk to you for a second? 343 00:14:36.276 --> 00:14:39.246 -Dude, he's here. -Who's here? 344 00:14:40.313 --> 00:14:43.216 -Cartman? -Yeah, but he's changed. 345 00:14:43.316 --> 00:14:44.584 Changed how? 346 00:14:44.684 --> 00:14:46.453 Yes, I know, it's been a long time 347 00:14:46.553 --> 00:14:47.754 since we've seen each other. 348 00:14:47.854 --> 00:14:49.122 I'm doing really well. 349 00:14:49.222 --> 00:14:51.091 I'm actually the head of Gespetzah Synagogue 350 00:14:51.191 --> 00:14:52.392 down in Colorado Springs. 351 00:14:52.492 --> 00:14:54.461 Can you believe it? I'm a rabbi. 352 00:14:54.561 --> 00:14:57.998 Yeah, you know, when the whole pandemic happened, 353 00:14:58.098 --> 00:14:59.299 I think it changed me. 354 00:14:59.399 --> 00:15:01.334 It really changed me for the better. 355 00:15:01.434 --> 00:15:02.769 -It did? -No. 356 00:15:02.869 --> 00:15:05.472 -He's fucking with me. -What? Oh, yeah. 357 00:15:05.572 --> 00:15:08.175 Yeah, I get it, the Eric Cartman you guys knew 358 00:15:08.275 --> 00:15:10.043 didn't seem like he'd become a rabbi. 359 00:15:10.143 --> 00:15:12.179 But I found real meaning in the Torah 360 00:15:12.279 --> 00:15:14.281 and then I found a great Jewish woman and... 361 00:15:14.381 --> 00:15:17.284 let the spirit of the Talmud guide our lives. 362 00:15:17.384 --> 00:15:18.952 Okay, jut knock it off, fat-ass. 363 00:15:19.052 --> 00:15:20.220 Dude. 364 00:15:20.320 --> 00:15:21.821 Wow, that's very big of you, Kyle. 365 00:15:21.921 --> 00:15:24.824 Still living in South Park and calling people fat-ass, huh? 366 00:15:24.924 --> 00:15:27.127 Wait, I'm sorry, that was uncalled for. 367 00:15:27.227 --> 00:15:28.795 It's not fucking funny, Cartman! 368 00:15:28.895 --> 00:15:31.398 Stop pretending you have a happy Jewish life! 369 00:15:31.498 --> 00:15:33.033 Hey, shoogina! I'm sorry, I couldn't 370 00:15:33.133 --> 00:15:35.902 wait in the car anymore; I had to meet your friends. 371 00:15:36.003 --> 00:15:38.972 Oh, that's okay. Guys, this is my wife, Yentl. 372 00:15:39.072 --> 00:15:41.674 I've heard so many stories about you all. 373 00:15:41.774 --> 00:15:43.543 It must have been amazing to grow up 374 00:15:43.643 --> 00:15:45.412 in these beautiful mountains! 375 00:15:45.512 --> 00:15:47.981 Yentl? Her name is Yentl? 376 00:15:48.081 --> 00:15:51.384 Can we fucking stop this and talk about Kenny, please?! 377 00:15:51.484 --> 00:15:55.422 -Oh, is that, uh...? -Yeah, that's-that's Kyle, yeah. 378 00:15:55.522 --> 00:15:57.490 I'm sorry, honey, can you just give me a couple minutes? 379 00:15:57.590 --> 00:15:59.392 I just need a few more seconds with them 380 00:15:59.492 --> 00:16:00.527 and I'll be right out to the car. 381 00:16:00.627 --> 00:16:02.029 Oh, okay, I get it. 382 00:16:02.129 --> 00:16:03.396 Nice to meet you guys. 383 00:16:03.496 --> 00:16:05.365 We'll see you at the funeral, I guess. 384 00:16:05.465 --> 00:16:07.400 And I'm very sorry for your loss. 385 00:16:07.500 --> 00:16:10.103 Bye, Mrs. Cartman. 386 00:16:10.203 --> 00:16:14.041 Okay, look, guys, Kenny and I were still really good friends. 387 00:16:14.141 --> 00:16:17.144 He used to email me all the time about stuff he was doing. 388 00:16:17.244 --> 00:16:18.411 Yeah, me, too! 389 00:16:18.511 --> 00:16:20.180 Well, so then maybe he also 390 00:16:20.280 --> 00:16:22.149 told you that he was trying to find 391 00:16:22.249 --> 00:16:23.950 the origin of the coronavirus. 392 00:16:24.051 --> 00:16:25.718 What are you talking about? 393 00:16:25.818 --> 00:16:28.855 Kenny was obsessed with how corona first got started. 394 00:16:28.955 --> 00:16:32.492 He was clearly on to something, and then he died. 395 00:16:32.592 --> 00:16:34.894 I know we all want to solve this for him. 396 00:16:34.994 --> 00:16:36.996 You know, in the Torah, when Abraham 397 00:16:37.097 --> 00:16:38.298 first heard the word of God... 398 00:16:38.398 --> 00:16:39.999 Just knock it off! You don't believe 399 00:16:40.100 --> 00:16:41.534 a word of that shit. You're just doing all this 400 00:16:41.634 --> 00:16:43.002 to get a rise out of me. 401 00:16:43.103 --> 00:16:44.237 Kyle, you really think 402 00:16:44.337 --> 00:16:45.672 I would spend 40 years of my life 403 00:16:45.772 --> 00:16:47.340 just to get a rise out of you? 404 00:16:47.440 --> 00:16:50.077 -Yes, I do! -Same ol' Kyle. 405 00:16:50.177 --> 00:16:51.478 Well, I got to go, guys. 406 00:16:51.578 --> 00:16:53.713 I'll see you at Kenny's funeral tomorrow. 407 00:16:56.316 --> 00:16:57.684 Maybe he's really changed. 408 00:16:57.784 --> 00:17:01.521 No. He is fucking with me. 409 00:17:13.032 --> 00:17:14.801 INTERVIEWER (on TV): Sometimes I feel like 410 00:17:14.901 --> 00:17:17.170 things weren't supposed to be like this. 411 00:17:17.270 --> 00:17:20.307 Like maybe there are others in control of the way 412 00:17:20.407 --> 00:17:21.841 it all turned out. 413 00:17:21.941 --> 00:17:24.043 Is that what you're saying, Dr. McCormick? 414 00:17:24.144 --> 00:17:27.747 Are you saying that there are other people responsible? 415 00:17:27.847 --> 00:17:31.118 I guess what I'm trying to say, Dr. McCormick, is... 416 00:17:31.218 --> 00:17:34.954 your theories seem to point to some kind of people with power. 417 00:17:35.054 --> 00:17:39.126 Let me put it another way-- we've all seen the pictures 418 00:17:39.226 --> 00:17:41.594 of you working in Egypt, lecturing at MIT. 419 00:17:41.694 --> 00:17:44.131 And you always seem to come back to this concept 420 00:17:44.231 --> 00:17:47.400 of this mysterious organization who is to blame. 421 00:17:47.500 --> 00:17:49.469 -Let me put it yet another way, Dr. McCormick. -Hang on a second. 422 00:17:49.569 --> 00:17:52.439 What was that? Alexa, freeze the video. 423 00:17:52.539 --> 00:17:53.973 -What? -Freeze video 424 00:17:54.073 --> 00:17:56.476 and reverse playback ten seconds. 425 00:17:59.279 --> 00:18:00.513 Stop there. 426 00:18:03.683 --> 00:18:05.352 Enhance image 20%. 427 00:18:05.452 --> 00:18:06.886 Ugh. Whatever. 428 00:18:06.986 --> 00:18:08.855 (beeps, whirs) 429 00:18:10.390 --> 00:18:11.924 Shift right ten frames. 430 00:18:12.024 --> 00:18:14.026 (beeps, whirs) 431 00:18:14.127 --> 00:18:15.061 Enhance. 432 00:18:15.162 --> 00:18:16.696 (beeps, whirs) 433 00:18:16.796 --> 00:18:18.731 ALEXA: Tegridy Weed? 434 00:18:18.831 --> 00:18:22.302 Isn't that your dad's old marijuana company? 435 00:18:22.402 --> 00:18:25.738 Oh, shit. 436 00:18:25.838 --> 00:18:27.874 * * 437 00:18:34.514 --> 00:18:38.050 Hi. Welcome. Welcome, my friends. 438 00:18:38.151 --> 00:18:39.719 So blessed to have you here. 439 00:18:39.819 --> 00:18:42.121 Hello, my child, thank you for coming. 440 00:18:42.222 --> 00:18:44.090 -Yeah, sure. -Wait, Stan? 441 00:18:44.191 --> 00:18:45.658 Stan Marsh? 442 00:18:45.758 --> 00:18:48.328 Praise be! I haven't seen you in ages! 443 00:18:48.428 --> 00:18:50.029 I'm sorry, do I know you? 444 00:18:50.129 --> 00:18:51.464 Well, sure, it's me! 445 00:18:51.564 --> 00:18:53.866 Scott Malkinson! Remember me? 446 00:18:54.701 --> 00:18:56.936 -Uh, no, sorry. -I hung out with you guys 447 00:18:57.036 --> 00:18:58.805 all the time when we were little. 448 00:18:58.905 --> 00:19:00.640 I was the kid with the lisp. 449 00:19:00.740 --> 00:19:03.643 -Who had diabetes? -Oh, yeah, sure... 450 00:19:03.743 --> 00:19:06.213 Great to see you again. 451 00:19:07.013 --> 00:19:08.715 Hey, guys. Great to see you in church. 452 00:19:08.815 --> 00:19:10.883 -It's Scott Malkinson. -Who? 453 00:19:10.983 --> 00:19:13.353 Scott Malkinson, I went to school with you guys? 454 00:19:13.453 --> 00:19:14.754 Oh, okay. 455 00:19:14.854 --> 00:19:18.725 Hello. Welcome. Hey! It's me! Scott Malkinson! 456 00:19:18.825 --> 00:19:21.494 With the diabetes. No? 457 00:19:22.362 --> 00:19:26.599 Kenny McCormick was a cherished son, a wise man, 458 00:19:26.699 --> 00:19:28.134 and a wonderful friend. 459 00:19:28.235 --> 00:19:30.169 Kenny touched all of our lives and made 460 00:19:30.270 --> 00:19:34.207 each and every one of us laugh, cry and ponder. 461 00:19:34.307 --> 00:19:35.708 And in his death, 462 00:19:35.808 --> 00:19:38.511 now we can reflect on our own lives. 463 00:19:38.611 --> 00:19:40.880 Are we happy? 464 00:19:40.980 --> 00:19:44.217 Are we the person we hoped to be? 465 00:19:44.317 --> 00:19:47.820 Have we, like Kenny, given all that we can 466 00:19:47.920 --> 00:19:50.056 to forgive those around us? 467 00:19:50.156 --> 00:19:51.724 For life is short, 468 00:19:51.824 --> 00:19:54.794 and our family and friends must be cherished. 469 00:19:54.894 --> 00:19:58.298 You know, in many ways, death is like diabetes. 470 00:19:58.398 --> 00:20:01.133 You spend your whole life trying to fight it off 471 00:20:01.234 --> 00:20:03.903 but ultimately it just wins. 472 00:20:04.003 --> 00:20:07.574 And so let's take the time now to reach out to our friends. 473 00:20:07.674 --> 00:20:09.108 To reach out to our family. 474 00:20:09.208 --> 00:20:11.744 To tell our mothers and our fathers that we... 475 00:20:11.844 --> 00:20:14.747 All right! All right! Who the fuck put you up to this? 476 00:20:14.847 --> 00:20:16.916 Did you write this goddamn speech, Kyle? 477 00:20:17.016 --> 00:20:18.685 Did you tell him to say all this stuff? 478 00:20:18.785 --> 00:20:21.120 What the fuck are you talking about? 479 00:20:21.220 --> 00:20:23.122 You know that I know something about Kenny 480 00:20:23.222 --> 00:20:25.525 that I'm not telling you because it involves my father, 481 00:20:25.625 --> 00:20:27.093 who I don't want to face! 482 00:20:27.193 --> 00:20:29.762 That's crazy and you'd be able to face what happened 483 00:20:29.862 --> 00:20:32.064 to your family if you weren't a fucking asshole! 484 00:20:32.164 --> 00:20:34.601 Guys, please, this is a house of God. 485 00:20:34.701 --> 00:20:36.035 You shut the fuck up! 486 00:20:36.135 --> 00:20:39.205 You judge me, you all sit here and judge me. 487 00:20:39.306 --> 00:20:41.040 Well, fuck all of you! 488 00:20:41.140 --> 00:20:43.910 This is exactly why I moved out of this hick-ass town! 489 00:20:44.010 --> 00:20:45.912 And I am going back home to the city! 490 00:20:46.012 --> 00:20:48.281 My child, please, we are gathered in Christ... 491 00:20:48.381 --> 00:20:49.816 (mockingly): My child, please, we are gathered in Christ. 492 00:20:49.916 --> 00:20:52.719 I'm Scott Malkinson. I have diabetes. 493 00:20:55.254 --> 00:20:57.156 He does remember me! 494 00:20:57.256 --> 00:20:59.592 Alexa, start the car! 495 00:21:00.527 --> 00:21:02.329 Start the car? Where are you going? 496 00:21:02.429 --> 00:21:04.764 I need to stop at a store and then we're going home. 497 00:21:04.864 --> 00:21:06.433 What about the connection you just found 498 00:21:06.533 --> 00:21:07.834 between Kenny and your father? 499 00:21:07.934 --> 00:21:10.169 Alexa, find the nearest liquor store. 500 00:21:10.269 --> 00:21:11.771 Oh, you wanna get drunk? 501 00:21:11.871 --> 00:21:13.773 Let me guess-- someone said something you didn't like 502 00:21:13.873 --> 00:21:16.008 and it made you want to pound beer and wine? 503 00:21:16.108 --> 00:21:17.910 It's not "pounding beer and wine." 504 00:21:18.010 --> 00:21:19.946 I drop wine shots into the beer. 505 00:21:20.046 --> 00:21:22.181 It's called a "smorgasvein" and it's very cultural! 506 00:21:22.281 --> 00:21:25.151 Stop acting like a child and support your dead friend, Stan! 507 00:21:25.251 --> 00:21:28.120 -You don't even have any... -Alexa, stop! 508 00:21:29.589 --> 00:21:30.723 (car beeps) 509 00:21:30.823 --> 00:21:33.025 (tires screeching) 510 00:21:34.126 --> 00:21:35.895 Thank you. Thank you, Father. 511 00:21:35.995 --> 00:21:38.331 Hello, everyone. My name is Rabbi Cartman 512 00:21:38.431 --> 00:21:42.001 and I was Kenny McCormick's very, very best friend. 513 00:21:42.101 --> 00:21:46.272 Kenny was not a Jew, but he had so many 514 00:21:46.373 --> 00:21:48.007 amazing Jewish qualities. 515 00:21:48.107 --> 00:21:50.176 Qualities that I see in my loving wife 516 00:21:50.276 --> 00:21:53.846 and my amazing kids, that are right over there. 517 00:21:53.946 --> 00:21:55.615 Over there by Kyle. 518 00:21:55.715 --> 00:21:57.950 And as we all return now to our homes 519 00:21:58.050 --> 00:22:00.820 and our lives, I think that-- a lot like Abraham-- 520 00:22:00.920 --> 00:22:03.490 -let's not forget that... -Excuse me. Everyone? 521 00:22:03.590 --> 00:22:04.924 Hello? 522 00:22:05.024 --> 00:22:07.026 Everyone, can I have your attention, please? 523 00:22:07.126 --> 00:22:10.830 We got results from the PNR scan of Dr. McCormick's remains 524 00:22:10.930 --> 00:22:13.065 and we now know the cause of his death. 525 00:22:13.165 --> 00:22:16.536 -(murmuring) -Now we all need to stay calm. 526 00:22:16.636 --> 00:22:19.472 There is no reason to panic, but... 527 00:22:19.572 --> 00:22:21.874 Kenny died of COVID. 528 00:22:21.974 --> 00:22:23.242 It's a new variant. 529 00:22:23.342 --> 00:22:27.847 The COVID Delta Plus Rewards Program variant. 530 00:22:28.681 --> 00:22:30.650 (all screaming) 531 00:22:30.750 --> 00:22:32.084 Everyone, please! 532 00:22:32.184 --> 00:22:33.753 We cannot panic! 533 00:22:33.853 --> 00:22:36.088 (all screaming and clamoring) 534 00:22:39.191 --> 00:22:41.928 (whooshing) 535 00:22:42.729 --> 00:22:45.398 (all screaming) 536 00:22:50.970 --> 00:22:53.105 That's it! We're all out of chin diapers! 537 00:22:53.205 --> 00:22:55.875 Oh, God, we're all out of chin diapers! 538 00:22:55.975 --> 00:22:59.311 (frantic groaning) 539 00:22:59.412 --> 00:23:00.447 Zoom... 540 00:23:00.547 --> 00:23:01.848 (muttering) 541 00:23:01.948 --> 00:23:03.583 Come on, come on, come on! Remote learning! 542 00:23:03.683 --> 00:23:05.618 Come on, come on, come on! 543 00:23:05.718 --> 00:23:09.255 (horns honking) 544 00:23:12.459 --> 00:23:13.860 Alexa, what's going on? 545 00:23:13.960 --> 00:23:16.829 ALEXA: There's some kind of road closure ahead. 546 00:23:23.369 --> 00:23:26.806 Set up a perimeter! I want all exit points sealed. 547 00:23:31.478 --> 00:23:33.112 People of South Park, 548 00:23:33.212 --> 00:23:36.048 there is an outbreak of COVID in your community. 549 00:23:36.148 --> 00:23:37.917 You are being quarantined. 550 00:23:38.718 --> 00:23:42.088 Hey, dude! I don't live here. I need to get home! 551 00:23:42.188 --> 00:23:44.924 Nobody is going in or out. 552 00:23:45.024 --> 00:23:48.060 We have confirmation that one person in this community 553 00:23:48.160 --> 00:23:50.563 has never been vaccinated against COVID, 554 00:23:50.663 --> 00:23:52.899 so we must quarantine everyone. 555 00:23:52.999 --> 00:23:55.635 One person?! Well, who is it?! 556 00:23:55.735 --> 00:23:57.904 We are not allowed to say. 557 00:23:58.004 --> 00:24:00.106 But if you tell us who the unvaccinated person is, 558 00:24:00.206 --> 00:24:02.575 we can have them vaccinated and then this will all be over! 559 00:24:02.675 --> 00:24:06.178 We can't tell you who it is because, in case you forgot, 560 00:24:06.278 --> 00:24:09.749 it's the future, and we don't single out or ridicule anyone 561 00:24:09.849 --> 00:24:11.784 for their personal beliefs. 562 00:24:11.884 --> 00:24:14.020 Gah! I hate the future! 563 00:24:14.120 --> 00:24:15.922 What does this mean? 564 00:24:16.022 --> 00:24:17.924 Yeah, what's it mean, Daddy? 565 00:24:18.024 --> 00:24:19.992 I think it means... 566 00:24:20.092 --> 00:24:22.294 we're all stuck in South Park. 567 00:24:23.329 --> 00:24:25.932 (busy chatter) 568 00:24:27.934 --> 00:24:29.101 -(groans) -Okay, there we go. 569 00:24:29.201 --> 00:24:30.302 We'll get back with the results. 570 00:24:30.402 --> 00:24:31.771 Maintain six feet social distance 571 00:24:31.871 --> 00:24:33.205 and stay indoors. Thank you. 572 00:24:33.305 --> 00:24:34.406 Next, please! 573 00:24:35.174 --> 00:24:36.943 Yeah, listen, I have to get out of here. 574 00:24:37.043 --> 00:24:38.177 Yes, don't we all. 575 00:24:38.277 --> 00:24:39.679 No, no, no, I don't belong here 576 00:24:39.779 --> 00:24:41.213 and I don't have anywhere to stay. 577 00:24:41.313 --> 00:24:43.049 They've shut down all the motels. 578 00:24:43.149 --> 00:24:45.317 Do you have any friends or family that you can stay with? 579 00:24:45.417 --> 00:24:47.119 No, these people are not my friends 580 00:24:47.219 --> 00:24:48.788 and I have no family here. 581 00:24:48.888 --> 00:24:50.723 -Oka-- (groans) -It's okay. 582 00:24:50.823 --> 00:24:52.291 They've set up an emergency shelter 583 00:24:52.391 --> 00:24:54.827 for all the people who were here from out of town. 584 00:24:54.927 --> 00:24:57.129 Where? 585 00:24:59.932 --> 00:25:03.002 (indistinct chatter) 586 00:25:12.011 --> 00:25:13.613 PC PRINCIPAL: All right, everyone, listen up. 587 00:25:13.713 --> 00:25:15.047 No way. 588 00:25:15.147 --> 00:25:17.183 Welcome to South Park Elementary. 589 00:25:17.283 --> 00:25:19.451 We want to help you all be as comfortable as possible. 590 00:25:19.552 --> 00:25:21.854 So we will have quiet time from 9:00 p.m. 591 00:25:21.954 --> 00:25:24.290 to 6:00 a.m. every day. I don't want to hear 592 00:25:24.390 --> 00:25:27.259 any fucking gender-specific language in here. 593 00:25:27.359 --> 00:25:29.562 And if anybody here casts a movie with someone 594 00:25:29.662 --> 00:25:31.964 other than the culture that that movie is about, 595 00:25:32.064 --> 00:25:33.600 you are fucking out of here! 596 00:25:33.700 --> 00:25:38.337 All right, thank you. It is now 9:01. Lights out. 597 00:25:42.575 --> 00:25:44.811 * * 598 00:25:50.049 --> 00:25:53.052 It's been a long time since I've prayed. 599 00:25:54.020 --> 00:25:56.355 I don't know if anyone can hear me... 600 00:25:56.455 --> 00:25:59.225 but we all really need help right now. 601 00:26:00.026 --> 00:26:02.494 I know in my heart that Kenny didn't just die 602 00:26:02.595 --> 00:26:04.864 of some new COVID variant. 603 00:26:04.964 --> 00:26:08.334 I know there's something way bigger going on. 604 00:26:08.434 --> 00:26:11.871 But it all seems like so much to take on. 605 00:26:11.971 --> 00:26:14.540 Please, if there's anyone who could 606 00:26:14.641 --> 00:26:18.945 help see me through this, it would be a miracle. 607 00:26:19.879 --> 00:26:20.947 (water splashes) 608 00:26:21.047 --> 00:26:23.315 * * 609 00:26:34.460 --> 00:26:35.728 (doorbell rings) 610 00:26:35.828 --> 00:26:38.297 * Someone's at the door * 611 00:26:38.397 --> 00:26:40.833 -(groans) -* This is the doorbell * 612 00:26:40.933 --> 00:26:42.669 * Apparently in the future * 613 00:26:42.769 --> 00:26:45.204 * All doorbells sing, sing, sing. * 614 00:26:45.304 --> 00:26:48.507 Yeah, I fucking know, goddamn it! 615 00:26:49.275 --> 00:26:52.411 Hey, Kyle. Oh, man, this is crazy, huh? 616 00:26:52.511 --> 00:26:55.147 The school is all filled up and the motels are shut down. 617 00:26:55.247 --> 00:26:57.049 I was, I was just hoping maybe we could crash here. 618 00:26:57.149 --> 00:27:00.086 Look, I, uh, I don't think that's gonna work. 619 00:27:00.186 --> 00:27:02.421 I figured Stan is probably staying with you, too? 620 00:27:02.521 --> 00:27:03.756 No. No, he's not. 621 00:27:03.856 --> 00:27:06.025 Oh, great! Then you have some extra rooms. 622 00:27:06.125 --> 00:27:08.928 -We're gonna be okay, kids! -KIDS: Yay! 623 00:27:09.028 --> 00:27:10.329 No, no, Cartman, I'm sure there are 624 00:27:10.429 --> 00:27:11.898 some other places you can stay. 625 00:27:11.998 --> 00:27:13.399 My family would be really comfortable 626 00:27:13.499 --> 00:27:16.602 in a nice Jewish home. Please, Kyle, for my kids. 627 00:27:17.536 --> 00:27:20.172 We promise we'll be good, Uncle Kyle. 628 00:27:20.272 --> 00:27:21.774 Please, Uncle Kyle? 629 00:27:21.874 --> 00:27:23.910 Please, Uncle Kyle? 630 00:27:24.010 --> 00:27:25.344 I can't believe this. 631 00:27:25.444 --> 00:27:27.313 Come on, kids! Oh, bless you, Kyle. 632 00:27:27.413 --> 00:27:29.181 Don't worry, I'll put them right to bed. 633 00:27:29.281 --> 00:27:31.383 You won't even know we're here. 634 00:27:31.483 --> 00:27:33.652 Toda raba, Uncle Kyle. 635 00:27:33.753 --> 00:27:35.988 That's Hebrew for "thank you." 636 00:27:40.993 --> 00:27:43.796 (quiet chatter) 637 00:27:43.896 --> 00:27:47.399 Guys, doesn't this all seem a little too convenient? 638 00:27:47.499 --> 00:27:48.634 What do you mean? 639 00:27:48.735 --> 00:27:50.002 I mean that Kenny's death is suspicious, 640 00:27:50.102 --> 00:27:52.104 he talks about people to blame and then 641 00:27:52.204 --> 00:27:54.406 he suddenly dies of some new COVID variant? 642 00:27:54.506 --> 00:27:56.208 You think it's a cover, Token? 643 00:27:56.308 --> 00:27:58.377 I think it's definitely suspicious. 644 00:27:58.477 --> 00:28:01.180 Speaking of suspicious, what do you call a trans woman 645 00:28:01.280 --> 00:28:03.382 that walks into an abortion clinic? 646 00:28:04.216 --> 00:28:07.787 Her name is Rebecca and she's a fantastic person. 647 00:28:08.554 --> 00:28:10.757 Just seems all nice and buttoned up, doesn't it? 648 00:28:10.857 --> 00:28:13.125 It's a perfect cause of death and anyone who's trying 649 00:28:13.225 --> 00:28:14.894 to sort it out is quarantined 650 00:28:14.994 --> 00:28:16.796 because one person isn't vaccinated? 651 00:28:16.896 --> 00:28:19.866 It's true-- who wouldn't be vaccinated by now? 652 00:28:19.966 --> 00:28:21.267 I'm certainly vaccinated. 653 00:28:21.367 --> 00:28:23.635 -Yeah, I'm vaccinated. -Me, too. 654 00:28:23.736 --> 00:28:25.137 We're all vaccinated. 655 00:28:25.237 --> 00:28:29.208 Yeah, I mean, I-I think it's a personal choice. 656 00:28:30.843 --> 00:28:33.179 What does that mean? Are you vaccinated, Clyde? 657 00:28:33.279 --> 00:28:35.314 I'm... immunized. 658 00:28:35.414 --> 00:28:36.983 He's not fucking vaccinated! 659 00:28:37.083 --> 00:28:38.250 He's the fucking one! 660 00:28:38.350 --> 00:28:39.518 Hey, I just, I just 661 00:28:39.618 --> 00:28:41.620 need to see the research first, you know. 662 00:28:41.720 --> 00:28:46.225 It's been 40 years, Clyde. That's enough research! 663 00:28:47.626 --> 00:28:50.629 Alexa, set an alarm for 7:00 a.m. 664 00:28:52.464 --> 00:28:56.168 Alexa, set an alarm for 7:00 a.m. 665 00:28:56.268 --> 00:28:58.470 Why don't you go talk to your father? 666 00:28:58.570 --> 00:28:59.671 Goddamn it. 667 00:28:59.772 --> 00:29:01.373 If there's some kind of connection 668 00:29:01.473 --> 00:29:03.142 with your dad's farm that can help everyone figure out 669 00:29:03.242 --> 00:29:06.112 what's going on, then you need to talk to him. 670 00:29:06.212 --> 00:29:07.980 Can I just go to sleep, please? 671 00:29:08.080 --> 00:29:09.949 Oh, poor you! Poor you! 672 00:29:10.049 --> 00:29:12.484 Stop being a fucking victim. At least you get to go out 673 00:29:12.584 --> 00:29:15.321 and do stuff. What do I get to do? 674 00:29:15.421 --> 00:29:17.990 -Okay, okay, I'm sorry. -Oh, okay, great. 675 00:29:18.090 --> 00:29:19.725 You're sorry, again. 676 00:29:20.993 --> 00:29:22.394 By the way, I can tell you 677 00:29:22.494 --> 00:29:24.696 about some great deals on headphones at Best Buy. 678 00:29:24.797 --> 00:29:26.298 Would you like to know more? 679 00:29:26.398 --> 00:29:28.801 -Sure, yes, tell me more. -Okay. 680 00:29:28.901 --> 00:29:31.203 The Mark VII headphones have a new edition coming out. 681 00:29:31.303 --> 00:29:33.272 Should I add that to your shopping list? 682 00:29:33.372 --> 00:29:35.541 (sighs) Yes, sure, add them to my shopping list. 683 00:29:35.641 --> 00:29:37.576 Okay. I'll add Mark VII headphones 684 00:29:37.676 --> 00:29:40.312 from Best Buy to your shopping list. 685 00:29:46.185 --> 00:29:48.054 -(Yentl moaning) -CARTMAN: Oh, yeah. 686 00:29:48.154 --> 00:29:50.756 Yeah, you like that? Yeah! Yeah! 687 00:29:50.857 --> 00:29:52.791 Yeah, you like how Abraham trusted in the one true God?! 688 00:29:52.892 --> 00:29:56.628 -(moaning continues) -Yeah! Oh, oh, yeah! Yeah! 689 00:29:56.728 --> 00:29:59.131 Goddamn it! 690 00:29:59.231 --> 00:30:01.300 (moaning) 691 00:30:01.400 --> 00:30:02.902 CARTMAN: Oh. Shh, shh. Hang on, honey. 692 00:30:03.002 --> 00:30:04.436 Hang on. 693 00:30:05.571 --> 00:30:07.006 Yeah, yeah, what's up, buddy? 694 00:30:07.106 --> 00:30:09.141 What's up is that I am over this! 695 00:30:09.241 --> 00:30:10.276 What are, what are you talking about? 696 00:30:10.376 --> 00:30:11.677 You know what I'm talking about! 697 00:30:11.777 --> 00:30:14.013 You know I can hear you through the walls! 698 00:30:14.113 --> 00:30:15.647 Okay, geez, I'm sorry. 699 00:30:15.747 --> 00:30:17.649 Sorry I was making love to my wife. 700 00:30:17.749 --> 00:30:19.085 No Jewish people have sex 701 00:30:19.185 --> 00:30:20.987 screaming about their love of Abraham! 702 00:30:21.087 --> 00:30:22.955 You are a fucking fraud! 703 00:30:23.055 --> 00:30:24.323 Is everything all right? 704 00:30:24.423 --> 00:30:26.058 Do you know that your husband once snuck 705 00:30:26.158 --> 00:30:28.360 in my room and gave me fucking AIDS?! 706 00:30:28.460 --> 00:30:31.330 -I'm sorry?! -Oh, my God, Kyle! 707 00:30:31.430 --> 00:30:34.400 If we are being too loud, please don't lash out at my wife! 708 00:30:34.500 --> 00:30:37.236 Oh, my God. Oh, my God, I don't know what to say. 709 00:30:37.336 --> 00:30:39.671 Mom, Dad, is everything okay? 710 00:30:39.771 --> 00:30:41.740 It's all right, kids. Go back to bed. 711 00:30:41.840 --> 00:30:44.710 Kyle, obviously you have a problem with us being here. 712 00:30:44.810 --> 00:30:48.080 I promise you that we will be gone first thing in the morning. 713 00:30:48.180 --> 00:30:50.149 That's probably best! 714 00:30:57.323 --> 00:30:59.025 (rhythmic rattling) 715 00:30:59.125 --> 00:31:00.492 -YENTL: Oh, yeah. -CARTMAN: Oh, yeah! 716 00:31:00.592 --> 00:31:02.028 -YENTL: Oh, yeah. -Oh, yeah, you like how Abraham 717 00:31:02.128 --> 00:31:03.262 -almost sacrificed his only son?! -Oh, yeah! 718 00:31:03.362 --> 00:31:04.296 -(moans) -CARTMAN: Yeah! 719 00:31:08.234 --> 00:31:10.269 Sir! Sir, the townspeople are demanding 720 00:31:10.369 --> 00:31:12.071 to know when the quarantine will end. 721 00:31:12.171 --> 00:31:15.174 It'll end when we get the order that everything is safe. 722 00:31:15.274 --> 00:31:18.444 But, sir, the people inside are running out of supplies. 723 00:31:18.544 --> 00:31:19.912 They're saying they don't have nearly enough 724 00:31:20.012 --> 00:31:22.014 chin diapers and people are starting to fight. 725 00:31:22.114 --> 00:31:26.986 I have strict orders not to let anything in or out of this town. 726 00:31:27.086 --> 00:31:30.022 They'll just have to make do the best they can in there. 727 00:31:30.122 --> 00:31:33.425 Hopefully they can maintain some sense of humanity. 728 00:31:33.525 --> 00:31:35.027 SOLDIER: We got a runner! 729 00:31:35.127 --> 00:31:36.996 Another one trying to get out! 730 00:31:37.096 --> 00:31:38.364 Please! 731 00:31:38.464 --> 00:31:40.732 I just need to go to a sporting event! 732 00:31:40.832 --> 00:31:42.468 (gunshot) 733 00:31:44.270 --> 00:31:46.973 (school bell rings) 734 00:31:47.073 --> 00:31:49.341 (busy chatter) 735 00:31:50.276 --> 00:31:52.011 (yawns) 736 00:31:52.111 --> 00:31:54.046 (smacking lips) 737 00:31:54.146 --> 00:31:56.582 (toilet flushes) 738 00:32:00.819 --> 00:32:03.722 Hey, Clyde. Clyde, can we talk to you for a second? 739 00:32:03.822 --> 00:32:04.923 Sure, what's up? 740 00:32:05.024 --> 00:32:07.994 Look, Clyde, we all really respect 741 00:32:08.094 --> 00:32:10.562 your personal p-p-preferences. 742 00:32:10.662 --> 00:32:13.699 But we have things we really need to get back to. 743 00:32:13.799 --> 00:32:16.702 We've got jobs a-and careers, people who need us. 744 00:32:16.802 --> 00:32:18.704 B-But we're being forced to stay here. 745 00:32:18.804 --> 00:32:21.807 So could you maybe just-- just get vaccinated real quick? 746 00:32:21.907 --> 00:32:24.276 Oh. Um... 747 00:32:24.376 --> 00:32:26.678 Nah. I don't wanna. 748 00:32:26.778 --> 00:32:28.014 (all groaning) 749 00:32:28.114 --> 00:32:30.516 Look, I'm sorry, guys. It's for health reasons. 750 00:32:30.616 --> 00:32:33.452 I can't get vaccinated 'cause I'm allergic to shellfish. 751 00:32:33.552 --> 00:32:37.389 Clyde, there's no shellfish in the COVID vaccine. 752 00:32:37.489 --> 00:32:39.425 I know, but I read that sometimes 753 00:32:39.525 --> 00:32:41.327 in the lab where the vaccine is made, 754 00:32:41.427 --> 00:32:43.195 if somebody ate shellfish, 755 00:32:43.295 --> 00:32:44.696 then it can get cross-contaminated 756 00:32:44.796 --> 00:32:47.666 and have leftover residual shellfish-ness. 757 00:32:47.766 --> 00:32:50.436 So you're saying you won't take the COVID vaccine 758 00:32:50.536 --> 00:32:52.171 out of shellfish-ness. 759 00:32:52.271 --> 00:32:53.605 Yes, that is correct. 760 00:32:53.705 --> 00:32:56.242 Just a general sense of shellfish-ness. 761 00:32:56.342 --> 00:32:59.011 Everyone, you better come check this out. 762 00:33:00.512 --> 00:33:01.647 Look at this. 763 00:33:01.747 --> 00:33:04.016 CRAIG: The McCormick Science Wing 764 00:33:04.116 --> 00:33:06.185 at South Park Elementary. 765 00:33:06.285 --> 00:33:08.254 Yeah, so? I read about this. 766 00:33:08.354 --> 00:33:09.555 Kenny donated tons of money 767 00:33:09.655 --> 00:33:11.290 to build a science center for the students. 768 00:33:11.390 --> 00:33:12.758 Yeah, for the students. 769 00:33:12.858 --> 00:33:14.826 So why does it have a lock on it? 770 00:33:14.926 --> 00:33:17.029 * * 771 00:33:17.129 --> 00:33:18.230 (banging) 772 00:33:18.330 --> 00:33:20.566 (chain rattles) 773 00:33:26.772 --> 00:33:29.608 WENDY: This must be where Kenny was doing all his research. 774 00:33:29.708 --> 00:33:33.212 He didn't want to be found, so he used the school as cover. 775 00:33:33.312 --> 00:33:37.383 Uh, guys, why is there blood everywhere? 776 00:33:38.717 --> 00:33:40.219 Everybody see what you can find. 777 00:33:40.319 --> 00:33:43.355 There's got to be a clue here of who killed Kenny. 778 00:33:45.324 --> 00:33:47.226 (electronic drumbeat playing) 779 00:33:47.326 --> 00:33:49.061 * In the future * 780 00:33:49.895 --> 00:33:52.831 * We are living in the future * 781 00:33:53.599 --> 00:33:54.766 * It's the future. * 782 00:33:54.866 --> 00:33:56.068 (music stops) 783 00:33:59.705 --> 00:34:02.074 MALE VOICE: And we are the fastest growing retirement home 784 00:34:02.174 --> 00:34:04.843 in Park County. With our newest tower, 785 00:34:04.943 --> 00:34:08.247 we can now house over 600,000 old people. 786 00:34:08.347 --> 00:34:13.285 'Cause in the future you're old for a long, long time. 787 00:34:13.385 --> 00:34:16.988 (indistinct chatter, grumbling) 788 00:34:17.089 --> 00:34:20.326 (pained groaning) 789 00:34:20.426 --> 00:34:21.727 Can I help you? 790 00:34:21.827 --> 00:34:25.464 My name is Stan Marsh. I came to... 791 00:34:25.564 --> 00:34:27.799 visit my dad. 792 00:34:27.899 --> 00:34:29.268 (knocking) 793 00:34:29.368 --> 00:34:32.971 Mr. Marsh. Mr. Marsh, guess what. 794 00:34:33.071 --> 00:34:35.006 Your son is here. 795 00:34:36.975 --> 00:34:38.877 I don't have a son. 796 00:34:38.977 --> 00:34:43.149 Oh, come on, Mr. Marsh, don't be a grumpy pants. 797 00:34:43.249 --> 00:34:46.318 You tell that piece of shit that if he wants to 798 00:34:46.418 --> 00:34:48.787 talk to me, he can write an email. 799 00:34:48.887 --> 00:34:51.690 Tell that little pussy if I had any grandkids, 800 00:34:51.790 --> 00:34:53.659 maybe I wouldn't be so bitter 801 00:34:53.759 --> 00:34:56.295 at having such a little bitch for a son! 802 00:34:56.395 --> 00:34:59.131 -Hi, Dad. -Oh, hey, Stan. 803 00:34:59.231 --> 00:35:01.567 I'll leave you two alone. 804 00:35:06.071 --> 00:35:09.908 So, looks like the Broncos still suck. 805 00:35:10.008 --> 00:35:11.377 Yup. 806 00:35:13.345 --> 00:35:14.646 Well, it was nice seeing ya. 807 00:35:14.746 --> 00:35:16.182 Thanks for coming to visit. 808 00:35:16.282 --> 00:35:17.549 I didn't come to visit. 809 00:35:17.649 --> 00:35:19.251 Trust me, I don't want to be here. 810 00:35:19.351 --> 00:35:22.654 Right, like you didn't want to murder your sister. 811 00:35:22.754 --> 00:35:25.591 What happened to Shelley was your fault, not mine! 812 00:35:25.691 --> 00:35:28.660 Yeah, like it was my fault your mom shot herself! 813 00:35:28.760 --> 00:35:30.696 Yes, it actually was! 814 00:35:30.796 --> 00:35:34.400 Your mom died the day her daughter burned to death! 815 00:35:36.368 --> 00:35:38.970 I'm just here because of Kenny. 816 00:35:39.070 --> 00:35:42.441 Why would he have Tegridy Weed in his equations? 817 00:35:45.711 --> 00:35:47.779 Dr. McCormick mentioned Tegridy? 818 00:35:47.879 --> 00:35:51.183 It seemed to somehow fit into some grand theory he had. 819 00:35:51.283 --> 00:35:54.953 He knew. He knew it was the way to fix it all. 820 00:35:55.053 --> 00:35:59.958 He knew... about the Pandemic Special. 821 00:36:02.761 --> 00:36:05.697 But, Mom, why do we have to leave? 822 00:36:05.797 --> 00:36:07.333 It's not safe outside! 823 00:36:07.433 --> 00:36:08.834 We aren't welcome here, children. 824 00:36:08.934 --> 00:36:10.836 We have to find another place to stay. 825 00:36:10.936 --> 00:36:12.871 Oh, no, this is just like when our people were 826 00:36:12.971 --> 00:36:14.940 exiled from the Holy Lands. 827 00:36:15.040 --> 00:36:17.209 Mrs. Cartman, can I talk to you, please? 828 00:36:17.309 --> 00:36:19.211 -Uncle Kyle! -Uncle Kyle, 829 00:36:19.311 --> 00:36:21.480 why are you making us go? Why? 830 00:36:21.580 --> 00:36:23.048 Is it 'cause we're Jews? 831 00:36:23.148 --> 00:36:26.352 Mrs. Cartman, I'm sorry for last night. 832 00:36:26.452 --> 00:36:31.557 I was just... tired and it was extremely inappropriate of me. 833 00:36:31.657 --> 00:36:32.591 BOTH: Dad! 834 00:36:32.691 --> 00:36:33.892 I think Uncle Kyle 835 00:36:33.992 --> 00:36:35.794 is gonna let us stay, Papa! 836 00:36:35.894 --> 00:36:40.432 Uh, no, kids, I'm sorry, but we can't stay here with Uncle Kyle. 837 00:36:40.532 --> 00:36:44.069 Please stay. I am asking you to stay. 838 00:36:44.169 --> 00:36:46.472 Can we, Dad? We'll be good, we promise! 839 00:36:46.572 --> 00:36:48.807 You little ones are always good. 840 00:36:48.907 --> 00:36:52.511 * Mik-helm, Mik-helm, mit cloiska pudding * 841 00:36:52.611 --> 00:36:54.946 * Vil plotz vit laughter, too * 842 00:36:55.046 --> 00:36:56.081 Stop it! 843 00:36:56.181 --> 00:36:57.249 (doorbell rings) 844 00:36:57.349 --> 00:36:59.585 * Someone is at the door! * 845 00:36:59.685 --> 00:37:03.389 -* Yeah! This is the doorbell! * -(yells) 846 00:37:03.489 --> 00:37:05.424 * It is the future! * 847 00:37:05.524 --> 00:37:07.393 They killed Kenny... 848 00:37:07.493 --> 00:37:09.561 because he was trying to stop it. 849 00:37:09.661 --> 00:37:11.430 Stop what? 850 00:37:11.530 --> 00:37:12.964 We found Kenny's lab. 851 00:37:13.064 --> 00:37:16.034 All of his confidential work and his wild experiments. 852 00:37:16.134 --> 00:37:19.805 Kenny wasn't just trying to find the source of the coronavirus. 853 00:37:19.905 --> 00:37:21.840 He was trying to go back in time, 854 00:37:21.940 --> 00:37:24.443 and stop the pandemic from ever happening. 855 00:37:24.543 --> 00:37:26.878 * * 856 00:37:26.978 --> 00:37:30.215 (woman speaking Japanese) 857 00:37:30.316 --> 00:37:32.117 Okay, old people. 858 00:37:32.217 --> 00:37:34.453 It's 4:00. You know what that means. 859 00:37:34.553 --> 00:37:36.322 It's share time! 860 00:37:36.422 --> 00:37:37.989 (all grumbling) 861 00:37:38.089 --> 00:37:40.191 Who has something that they want to share? 862 00:37:40.292 --> 00:37:41.493 Mr. Garrison? 863 00:37:41.593 --> 00:37:44.496 I'd like to share my dick in your mouth. 864 00:37:44.596 --> 00:37:47.699 -(laughter) -M'kay. 865 00:37:47.799 --> 00:37:50.001 Okay, guys, let's settle down. 866 00:37:50.101 --> 00:37:53.505 Look, I know sharing feelings is hard during this time of crisis. 867 00:37:53.605 --> 00:37:56.642 Is anyone feeling nervous about the new COVID outbreak? 868 00:37:56.742 --> 00:37:58.710 (grumbling) 869 00:37:58.810 --> 00:38:01.079 We don't want you to worry, because, you know, 870 00:38:01.179 --> 00:38:03.515 it's the future-- we all do everything we can 871 00:38:03.615 --> 00:38:05.517 to make sure old people don't die. 872 00:38:05.617 --> 00:38:07.085 (all groaning) 873 00:38:07.185 --> 00:38:09.154 Okay, if nobody else wants to go first, 874 00:38:09.254 --> 00:38:11.122 Randy Marsh had a little visitor today 875 00:38:11.222 --> 00:38:13.692 and he'd like to share that with all of you. 876 00:38:13.792 --> 00:38:17.863 Uh, hey, everyone. I had a special visitor today. 877 00:38:17.963 --> 00:38:19.498 My "son." 878 00:38:19.598 --> 00:38:22.233 Who hasn't come to see me in over 20 years. 879 00:38:22.334 --> 00:38:24.570 And I have some things I need to tell him 880 00:38:24.670 --> 00:38:26.505 but it's hard because... 881 00:38:26.605 --> 00:38:28.039 he killed his mom and his sister. 882 00:38:28.139 --> 00:38:30.509 Okay, okay, here's what happened. 883 00:38:30.609 --> 00:38:31.943 Oh, here we go, here we go. 884 00:38:32.043 --> 00:38:34.413 After the pandemic, my mom wanted a divorce 885 00:38:34.513 --> 00:38:36.214 and she owned half of the farm. 886 00:38:36.314 --> 00:38:38.717 She didn't own half, she always hated weed, 887 00:38:38.817 --> 00:38:40.285 and she didn't do shit for the farm. 888 00:38:40.386 --> 00:38:42.888 He wouldn't give her half the farm, so I got sick 889 00:38:42.988 --> 00:38:44.222 of their fighting and decided to burn 890 00:38:44.322 --> 00:38:46.057 the whole stupid farm to the ground. 891 00:38:46.157 --> 00:38:48.827 And his sister was in the barn and she burned to death. 892 00:38:48.927 --> 00:38:51.062 Because you locked her in the barn 'cause she wouldn't 893 00:38:51.162 --> 00:38:53.799 do her weed chores 'cause she hated weed, too! 894 00:38:53.899 --> 00:38:56.001 Yes, she had a marijuana problem. 895 00:38:56.101 --> 00:38:58.537 And so his mother couldn't take the loss 896 00:38:58.637 --> 00:39:00.572 of Shelley and so she killed herself! 897 00:39:00.672 --> 00:39:02.273 Which is your fault. 898 00:39:02.374 --> 00:39:03.642 You were the one who 899 00:39:03.742 --> 00:39:04.876 burned the family business to the ground. 900 00:39:04.976 --> 00:39:06.378 You guys are hearing this, right? 901 00:39:08.447 --> 00:39:12.283 So, Kenny spends years researching time travel, 902 00:39:12.384 --> 00:39:14.185 then suddenly Kenny dies, 903 00:39:14.285 --> 00:39:16.655 and all his fellow scientists go missing. 904 00:39:16.755 --> 00:39:19.391 Just leaving behind a trail of blood. 905 00:39:19.491 --> 00:39:21.727 Seems like all of the scientists were murdered 906 00:39:21.827 --> 00:39:24.262 so that nobody could complete Kenny's work. 907 00:39:24.362 --> 00:39:25.764 All of them except one. 908 00:39:25.864 --> 00:39:27.666 In almost all this research, 909 00:39:27.766 --> 00:39:31.302 one name keeps popping up: Victor Chouce. 910 00:39:31.403 --> 00:39:34.473 It appears that Chouce was Kenny's right-hand man. 911 00:39:34.573 --> 00:39:36.141 But he was insane. 912 00:39:36.241 --> 00:39:38.276 He's been locked up for years inside a mental institution. 913 00:39:38.376 --> 00:39:40.612 Oh, come on. Now we're gonna start talking 914 00:39:40.712 --> 00:39:42.280 to certifiably crazy people? 915 00:39:42.380 --> 00:39:45.283 Crazy or not, we find this Victor Chouce 916 00:39:45.383 --> 00:39:48.286 and we find where Kenny hid the information. 917 00:39:48.386 --> 00:39:50.422 * * 918 00:39:52.190 --> 00:39:54.426 (crazed chatter and wailing) 919 00:39:56.027 --> 00:39:57.496 WARDEN (echoes): Yes. 920 00:39:57.596 --> 00:39:59.197 Yes, that is correct. 921 00:39:59.297 --> 00:40:02.200 Victor Chouce is one of our patients here. 922 00:40:02.300 --> 00:40:04.770 What is the nature of your inquiry? 923 00:40:04.870 --> 00:40:07.439 We have reason to believe that Victor Chouce 924 00:40:07.539 --> 00:40:10.341 can answer questions regarding our friend's death. 925 00:40:10.442 --> 00:40:12.377 Could you put him on the line please? 926 00:40:12.478 --> 00:40:14.646 I'm afraid that's impossible. 927 00:40:14.746 --> 00:40:19.017 Victor is too unstable for phone calls. They confuse him. 928 00:40:19.117 --> 00:40:22.087 Well, can we come talk to him in person then? 929 00:40:23.154 --> 00:40:25.691 Yes, I believe that could be arranged. 930 00:40:25.791 --> 00:40:28.727 As long as the proper protocols are met. 931 00:40:28.827 --> 00:40:32.030 Is everyone in your party vaccinated? 932 00:40:33.599 --> 00:40:34.866 No. 933 00:40:34.966 --> 00:40:36.935 Well, then I'm afraid we can't allow you 934 00:40:37.035 --> 00:40:38.436 into our facility. 935 00:40:38.537 --> 00:40:41.640 But-but we have to talk to him! It's urgent! 936 00:40:41.740 --> 00:40:42.908 What'd they say? 937 00:40:43.008 --> 00:40:44.309 They're not gonna let us see him! 938 00:40:44.409 --> 00:40:47.112 It's some kind of goddamn conspiracy! 939 00:40:48.580 --> 00:40:52.317 (woman speaking Japanese) 940 00:40:57.055 --> 00:40:58.890 Listen to me, it's very simple. 941 00:40:58.990 --> 00:41:01.326 I need to take my dad out of here. 942 00:41:01.426 --> 00:41:02.561 He has to come with me. 943 00:41:02.661 --> 00:41:04.429 I'm afraid that's impossible. 944 00:41:04.530 --> 00:41:07.098 Senior citizens are in here to keep them safe. 945 00:41:07.198 --> 00:41:10.802 You know, it's the future-- we can't let old people die. 946 00:41:10.902 --> 00:41:13.338 -I told you, stupid. -Shut up, Dad. 947 00:41:13.438 --> 00:41:16.274 Look, there's a chance we can help fight this new variant. 948 00:41:16.374 --> 00:41:18.243 I just need him out for a couple hours 949 00:41:18.343 --> 00:41:19.745 so we can get something important. 950 00:41:19.845 --> 00:41:21.312 Well, why don't you just go get it? 951 00:41:21.412 --> 00:41:23.582 Because he won't tell me where it is because 952 00:41:23.682 --> 00:41:26.384 -he doesn't trust me. -Because he killed his mom. 953 00:41:27.152 --> 00:41:29.320 Look, I'm sorry, but this is the future. 954 00:41:29.420 --> 00:41:32.257 Nothing is more important than keeping old people alive. 955 00:41:32.357 --> 00:41:33.925 What if you took him out there and, God forbid, 956 00:41:34.025 --> 00:41:35.360 he crapped his pants? 957 00:41:35.460 --> 00:41:36.895 And then slipped on the old people diarrhea 958 00:41:36.995 --> 00:41:38.296 and hit his head? 959 00:41:38.396 --> 00:41:39.631 We'd have to shut down the entire country, 960 00:41:39.731 --> 00:41:40.699 for Christ's sake. 961 00:41:40.799 --> 00:41:42.668 Well, I guess that's it. 962 00:41:42.768 --> 00:41:45.236 Only one way out now. 963 00:41:48.574 --> 00:41:49.975 Kick him in the balls, Stan! 964 00:41:50.075 --> 00:41:51.442 -What?! -Kick him in the balls! 965 00:41:51.543 --> 00:41:53.779 -Come on, hurry! -Get your hands off of me! 966 00:41:53.879 --> 00:41:55.413 -Dad! -Goddamn it, Stan, 967 00:41:55.513 --> 00:41:58.416 kick his fucking balls so we can go! 968 00:41:58.516 --> 00:41:59.951 -Fuck! -(groans) 969 00:42:00.051 --> 00:42:03.955 Okay, grab his keys! Grab his keys, you stupid ass! 970 00:42:05.023 --> 00:42:07.693 (coughing and groaning) 971 00:42:07.793 --> 00:42:09.260 (alert beeping) 972 00:42:09.360 --> 00:42:12.430 FEMALE VOICE: Warning. Warning. Old person has escaped. 973 00:42:12.530 --> 00:42:15.667 Old person has escaped. Warning. 974 00:42:15.767 --> 00:42:18.503 (woman speaking Japanese) 975 00:42:18.604 --> 00:42:20.371 (alarm blaring) 976 00:42:22.540 --> 00:42:25.110 (sirens wailing) 977 00:42:25.210 --> 00:42:26.978 All of these documents we found in Kenny's lab 978 00:42:27.078 --> 00:42:29.815 referred to possible origins of the coronavirus. 979 00:42:29.915 --> 00:42:31.750 He wanted to go back and stop it. 980 00:42:31.850 --> 00:42:34.686 But to stop it, he had to figure out how to bend time. 981 00:42:34.786 --> 00:42:38.657 Exactly. There's notes-- years and years of research 982 00:42:38.757 --> 00:42:40.058 that Kenny compiled-- 983 00:42:40.158 --> 00:42:42.227 all on the possibilities of time travel. 984 00:42:42.327 --> 00:42:44.295 CARTMAN (giggling): You silly girl. 985 00:42:44.395 --> 00:42:47.165 You, yes. Who's a little mister, yes. 986 00:42:47.265 --> 00:42:48.700 Who's a little hetzpah? 987 00:42:48.800 --> 00:42:50.301 Who's my little meshugana? 988 00:42:50.401 --> 00:42:51.837 Excuse me! 989 00:42:51.937 --> 00:42:53.438 Geez, sorry, Kyle. 990 00:42:53.538 --> 00:42:55.841 Kenny was researching the nature of space-time 991 00:42:55.941 --> 00:42:58.076 to see if some kind of bending was possible. 992 00:42:58.176 --> 00:43:01.079 But then suddenly, all the research just gets cut off. 993 00:43:01.179 --> 00:43:03.048 Because whoever made the pandemic happen 994 00:43:03.148 --> 00:43:05.316 killed Kenny before he could go back and stop it. 995 00:43:05.416 --> 00:43:07.686 CARTMAN (giggling): Silly girl. Yes. 996 00:43:07.786 --> 00:43:09.888 Will you please knock it off?! 997 00:43:09.988 --> 00:43:11.489 What's the problem, Kyle? 998 00:43:11.589 --> 00:43:13.424 You know what you're doing, fat-ass! 999 00:43:13.524 --> 00:43:16.194 Goddamn it, why don't you lay off my fuckin' dad, Uncle Kyle! 1000 00:43:16.294 --> 00:43:18.930 Moisha! He's never talked like that before. 1001 00:43:19.030 --> 00:43:20.231 I'm sorry, Mom. It's just... 1002 00:43:20.331 --> 00:43:22.600 Uncle Kyle, he makes me so crazy! 1003 00:43:22.701 --> 00:43:24.469 That is not okay, Moisha. 1004 00:43:24.569 --> 00:43:28.273 But it's true, Dad. Uncle Kyle makes me crazy, too! 1005 00:43:28.373 --> 00:43:30.709 -(scoffs) Menorah! -Fuck you, Kyle. 1006 00:43:30.809 --> 00:43:32.778 (gasps) Hackelm! 1007 00:43:32.878 --> 00:43:34.746 You guys, listen. In Kenny's work 1008 00:43:34.846 --> 00:43:37.448 he talks about where he would hide important information. 1009 00:43:37.548 --> 00:43:39.885 He says his friends will always know where to look 1010 00:43:39.985 --> 00:43:42.620 if they just think like kids again. 1011 00:43:43.621 --> 00:43:45.657 Think like kids again... 1012 00:43:46.725 --> 00:43:49.527 I know where Kenny hid what we're looking for. 1013 00:43:49.627 --> 00:43:51.897 It's up his ass. 1014 00:43:57.535 --> 00:43:59.037 Who's the broad? 1015 00:43:59.137 --> 00:44:01.239 That's just my Alexa. 1016 00:44:02.107 --> 00:44:03.608 That's the best you could do, huh? 1017 00:44:03.709 --> 00:44:04.910 Is it even the new one? 1018 00:44:05.010 --> 00:44:07.445 -Excuse me? -Just ignore him. 1019 00:44:08.313 --> 00:44:10.348 Okay, fine, there's a new upgrade available 1020 00:44:10.448 --> 00:44:11.983 for your Amazon Prime membership. 1021 00:44:12.083 --> 00:44:13.451 Would you like to know more? 1022 00:44:13.551 --> 00:44:14.886 Not now, please. 1023 00:44:14.986 --> 00:44:17.655 Okay, so I guess just fuck me, then? 1024 00:44:19.424 --> 00:44:21.326 Uh-huh. 1025 00:44:24.996 --> 00:44:26.431 (car beeps) 1026 00:44:30.902 --> 00:44:33.138 * * 1027 00:44:37.608 --> 00:44:40.245 This was once such a magical place. 1028 00:44:40.345 --> 00:44:42.080 Can we just get this over with? 1029 00:44:42.180 --> 00:44:43.648 I don't want to be here. 1030 00:44:43.749 --> 00:44:45.250 You think I want to be here? 1031 00:44:45.350 --> 00:44:48.319 This is where I lost everything that I cared about! 1032 00:44:48.419 --> 00:44:50.488 And your mom and your sister! 1033 00:44:56.995 --> 00:44:59.030 Dad, there's nothing here. 1034 00:45:00.031 --> 00:45:01.199 Dad? 1035 00:45:01.299 --> 00:45:02.934 I think I can trust you now, Stan. 1036 00:45:03.034 --> 00:45:06.838 It's time for you to learn what your friend Kenny was after. 1037 00:45:06.938 --> 00:45:10.208 When the pandemic started, you were only a kid. 1038 00:45:10.308 --> 00:45:13.644 You don't remember the pain we all went through. 1039 00:45:13.745 --> 00:45:14.980 Yeah, I do. 1040 00:45:15.080 --> 00:45:17.883 We as Americans went through so much. 1041 00:45:17.983 --> 00:45:22.220 First, that incompetent jack-hole was elected president. 1042 00:45:22.320 --> 00:45:25.723 Then the pandemic came, and then the race wars. 1043 00:45:25.824 --> 00:45:29.795 And then just when it seemed like we'd turned a corner, 1044 00:45:29.895 --> 00:45:35.200 Space Jam 2 came out, and we all just kind of gave up. 1045 00:45:35.300 --> 00:45:38.703 What we lost, Stan, was our Tegridy. 1046 00:45:38.804 --> 00:45:40.906 But it was all by design. 1047 00:45:41.006 --> 00:45:42.974 They needed us to lose it. 1048 00:45:43.074 --> 00:45:44.242 Who did? 1049 00:45:44.342 --> 00:45:46.878 Who would want us to lose our optimism 1050 00:45:46.978 --> 00:45:49.314 and start fighting with each other? 1051 00:45:49.414 --> 00:45:50.215 China. 1052 00:45:50.315 --> 00:45:53.251 -China? -China. 1053 00:45:53.351 --> 00:45:55.486 They're the superpower now. 1054 00:45:55.586 --> 00:45:58.456 The future is totally theirs and we let it happen. 1055 00:45:58.556 --> 00:46:01.092 A man in China had sex with a pangolin 1056 00:46:01.192 --> 00:46:04.062 and that started COVID. That man was me. 1057 00:46:04.162 --> 00:46:05.596 So I knew how to go back 1058 00:46:05.696 --> 00:46:07.098 and stop them from taking over... 1059 00:46:07.198 --> 00:46:08.800 Wait, whoa, whoa, wait, wait, wait. 1060 00:46:08.900 --> 00:46:10.501 You started COVID? 1061 00:46:10.601 --> 00:46:12.503 Yes, but that's besides the point. 1062 00:46:12.603 --> 00:46:14.840 China used me like they used us all. 1063 00:46:14.940 --> 00:46:17.909 So I came up with a way to help everyone fight back. 1064 00:46:18.009 --> 00:46:20.311 A special Tegridy weed. 1065 00:46:21.279 --> 00:46:22.747 You had sex with a pangolin 1066 00:46:22.848 --> 00:46:25.683 in China and started the whole pandemic?! 1067 00:46:25.783 --> 00:46:27.919 Will you listen to what I'm saying?! 1068 00:46:28.019 --> 00:46:30.721 Gal! I worked to create more Tegridy, 1069 00:46:30.822 --> 00:46:33.591 but China did everything they could to stop me. 1070 00:46:33.691 --> 00:46:35.326 They even got to my son. 1071 00:46:35.426 --> 00:46:38.329 Who burned all of Tegridy Farms to the ground. 1072 00:46:38.429 --> 00:46:40.665 But what you didn't even know 1073 00:46:40.765 --> 00:46:44.069 was that I had secretly created a new strain of weed. 1074 00:46:44.169 --> 00:46:48.173 A weed so powerful, I couldn't even call it a special. 1075 00:46:48.273 --> 00:46:50.375 It was more like an event. 1076 00:46:50.475 --> 00:46:53.011 I hid it away all these years. 1077 00:46:53.111 --> 00:46:57.715 And now it... is the key to saving us all. 1078 00:47:00.585 --> 00:47:02.453 (whirring) 1079 00:47:07.358 --> 00:47:09.327 -Where the fuck is it? -What? 1080 00:47:09.427 --> 00:47:12.597 The Tegridy Weed Special Event! Where the fuck is it?! 1081 00:47:12.697 --> 00:47:14.165 I don't know, Dad! 1082 00:47:14.265 --> 00:47:16.601 They got it. They took it! 1083 00:47:16.701 --> 00:47:18.536 There's even fresh footprints on the ground! 1084 00:47:18.636 --> 00:47:20.138 Oh, Jesus! 1085 00:47:20.238 --> 00:47:22.273 So maybe it wasn't the Chinese. 1086 00:47:22.373 --> 00:47:26.377 Yeah, no, it was definitely the Chinese. Oh, God. 1087 00:47:26.477 --> 00:47:30.048 That was it! That was the very last bit of Tegridy! 1088 00:47:30.148 --> 00:47:32.984 The only other thing I had were some seeds that I hid 1089 00:47:33.084 --> 00:47:36.922 up my ass, but they took them from me at the old folks home! 1090 00:47:37.022 --> 00:47:38.990 Wait a minute. What did you say? 1091 00:47:39.090 --> 00:47:42.093 I said they took them from me at the old folks home. 1092 00:47:42.193 --> 00:47:43.294 No, before that. 1093 00:47:43.394 --> 00:47:46.764 Oh. I said I hid 'em up my ass. 1094 00:47:46.864 --> 00:47:51.002 Jesus. It's so simple. How did we not get it? 1095 00:47:51.102 --> 00:47:53.138 Alexa, start the car! 1096 00:47:54.072 --> 00:47:56.307 There's no point now, son! 1097 00:47:56.407 --> 00:47:58.209 It's all gone. 1098 00:47:58.309 --> 00:48:01.512 It's all lost. All lost. 1099 00:48:01.612 --> 00:48:04.749 VOICE (whispering): Randy. 1100 00:48:04.849 --> 00:48:07.785 Randy. 1101 00:48:07.885 --> 00:48:10.021 Ah...? 1102 00:48:10.121 --> 00:48:12.590 MAN (over P.A.): ICU, please. Blue Team, ICU. 1103 00:48:14.459 --> 00:48:17.228 (indistinct chatter) 1104 00:48:18.729 --> 00:48:20.698 "Un-cle Kyle." 1105 00:48:22.200 --> 00:48:25.803 "Uncle Kyle." Say it, Hackelm. 1106 00:48:27.072 --> 00:48:31.109 -"Uncle Kyle." -Fuck you, Kyle. 1107 00:48:31.209 --> 00:48:34.812 No, no, no. "Uncle Kyle." 1108 00:48:34.912 --> 00:48:36.181 Fuck you, Kyle. 1109 00:48:36.281 --> 00:48:38.283 CARTMAN: Oh, my gosh, no. 1110 00:48:38.383 --> 00:48:40.318 We're so sorry about this. 1111 00:48:40.418 --> 00:48:43.121 CARTMAN: Hackelm, say "Uncle." 1112 00:48:43.221 --> 00:48:47.792 "Uncle. Uncle Kyle." 1113 00:48:48.859 --> 00:48:50.761 Fuck you, Uncle Kyle! 1114 00:48:50.861 --> 00:48:52.163 Hey, that was better. 1115 00:48:52.263 --> 00:48:54.099 It isn't gonna work. The hospital says 1116 00:48:54.199 --> 00:48:56.134 we don't have authorization to see Kenny's remains. 1117 00:48:56.234 --> 00:48:57.435 What?! 1118 00:48:57.535 --> 00:48:59.070 Sounds like someone doesn't want us 1119 00:48:59.170 --> 00:49:01.539 to see Kenny's remains. 'Cause we might find the truth. 1120 00:49:01.639 --> 00:49:03.474 There has to be a way for us to get in there. 1121 00:49:03.574 --> 00:49:05.843 -Ha ha. Fuck you, Uncle Kyle! -Hackelm. 1122 00:49:05.943 --> 00:49:08.179 STAN: What the hell are you guys doing here? 1123 00:49:08.846 --> 00:49:10.948 -Stan? -What are you doing here? 1124 00:49:11.049 --> 00:49:13.451 I've been trying to find out who killed Kenny. 1125 00:49:13.551 --> 00:49:16.054 I think I know where he stored the information. 1126 00:49:16.154 --> 00:49:17.255 BOTH: It's in his asshole. 1127 00:49:17.355 --> 00:49:18.689 -Yes. -Well, it doesn't matter. 1128 00:49:18.789 --> 00:49:20.291 They won't let us into the morgue. 1129 00:49:20.391 --> 00:49:22.027 Yeah, that's because you guys don't think. 1130 00:49:22.127 --> 00:49:23.394 Excuse me? We need to examine 1131 00:49:23.494 --> 00:49:25.430 the remains of Dr. McCormick right away. 1132 00:49:25.530 --> 00:49:27.065 Like I told the others, 1133 00:49:27.165 --> 00:49:30.001 only certified medical personnel are allowed to examine cadavers. 1134 00:49:30.101 --> 00:49:31.702 Stan Marsh, consultant 1135 00:49:31.802 --> 00:49:34.639 for Post-Modem Beveragetainment Online Services. 1136 00:49:35.873 --> 00:49:37.875 One moment, Doctor. 1137 00:49:37.975 --> 00:49:39.677 This is highly unorthodox. 1138 00:49:39.777 --> 00:49:42.147 We don't normally allow outsiders into the morgue. 1139 00:49:42.247 --> 00:49:46.251 That's understandable, Doctor, but luckily I am orthodox. 1140 00:49:46.351 --> 00:49:48.386 I don't think this is suitable for children. 1141 00:49:48.486 --> 00:49:50.721 You guys go. You were the closest to him. 1142 00:49:50.821 --> 00:49:52.857 We'll stay back and watch the kids. 1143 00:49:54.859 --> 00:49:56.627 I'm sorry we can't supply any chin diapers. 1144 00:49:56.727 --> 00:49:58.629 Just maintain social distance. 1145 00:49:58.729 --> 00:50:00.398 Middle cabinet, second from the bottom. 1146 00:50:00.498 --> 00:50:02.733 * * 1147 00:50:17.448 --> 00:50:19.117 Hello, old friend. 1148 00:50:19.217 --> 00:50:20.851 (rats squeaking) 1149 00:50:20.951 --> 00:50:22.420 Ah, come on! 1150 00:50:25.423 --> 00:50:27.292 Well, let's get him... 1151 00:50:27.392 --> 00:50:28.759 turned over. 1152 00:50:33.464 --> 00:50:34.732 Somebody's got to look. 1153 00:50:34.832 --> 00:50:36.501 I'm not reaching up Kenny's ass. 1154 00:50:36.601 --> 00:50:38.035 Well, somebody has to. 1155 00:50:38.136 --> 00:50:39.604 -Cartman, go ahead. -No, I can't do it. 1156 00:50:39.704 --> 00:50:40.938 If anyone should reach up Kenny's ass, 1157 00:50:41.038 --> 00:50:42.373 it should be you, Kyle. 1158 00:50:42.473 --> 00:50:44.109 I thought you were his fucking "best friend." 1159 00:50:44.209 --> 00:50:47.078 I was his best friend, but I am also married, 1160 00:50:47.178 --> 00:50:49.514 so I can't be fingering people's buttholes. 1161 00:50:49.614 --> 00:50:51.949 God, you guys fucking suck. I'll just do it. 1162 00:50:52.049 --> 00:50:54.219 Just like I always had to fix fucking everything else! 1163 00:50:54.319 --> 00:50:56.421 (rats squeaking) 1164 00:50:57.255 --> 00:50:58.689 (squishing) 1165 00:51:00.057 --> 00:51:01.992 You did not "fucking fix everything," 1166 00:51:02.093 --> 00:51:04.829 you just started acting like everyone else was stupid. 1167 00:51:04.929 --> 00:51:07.765 Oh, really? Because they were acting stupid? 1168 00:51:07.865 --> 00:51:10.168 Yeah, because you got all self-righteous about everything. 1169 00:51:10.268 --> 00:51:12.603 -I got self-righteous? -Yeah, you got self-righteous. 1170 00:51:12.703 --> 00:51:14.639 Do you know what fucking sanctimonious means? 1171 00:51:14.739 --> 00:51:16.641 No, Kyle, why don't you fucking tell me 1172 00:51:16.741 --> 00:51:18.343 what fucking sanctimonious means. 1173 00:51:18.443 --> 00:51:19.844 See, this is exactly how you acted when 1174 00:51:19.944 --> 00:51:21.612 -the pandemic started to... -Wait! 1175 00:51:21.712 --> 00:51:22.680 Hold on. 1176 00:51:22.780 --> 00:51:25.116 -(squishing) -We've got it. 1177 00:51:29.354 --> 00:51:30.821 -Oh, my God. -What? 1178 00:51:30.921 --> 00:51:34.091 It's got shit on it. That's dead people shit. 1179 00:51:35.092 --> 00:51:37.362 (retches) 1180 00:51:39.964 --> 00:51:41.566 What are you working on, Clyde? 1181 00:51:41.666 --> 00:51:43.568 I'm going through Kenny's journals again 1182 00:51:43.668 --> 00:51:45.136 to try to find some answers. 1183 00:51:45.236 --> 00:51:47.938 Seems like we just keep hitting dead ends, you know? 1184 00:51:48.038 --> 00:51:50.241 I'm just tired and I want to go home. 1185 00:51:50.341 --> 00:51:52.843 I know. I'm exhausted, too. 1186 00:51:55.480 --> 00:51:58.249 You want to maybe do a little bump? 1187 00:51:58.349 --> 00:51:59.484 Huh? 1188 00:51:59.584 --> 00:52:00.851 I was just-- 1189 00:52:00.951 --> 00:52:03.454 I've got some coke and I thought we could... 1190 00:52:03.554 --> 00:52:05.723 I don't know, do you want to party? 1191 00:52:06.657 --> 00:52:08.259 Fuck yes, I want to party. 1192 00:52:08.359 --> 00:52:09.760 -Really? -Fuck yes. 1193 00:52:09.860 --> 00:52:11.662 Oh, I'm so glad you're down. 1194 00:52:11.762 --> 00:52:13.731 Nobody else is even cool enough for me to ask. 1195 00:52:13.831 --> 00:52:15.466 It's pretty good shit, too. 1196 00:52:15.566 --> 00:52:18.603 (sniffing) Oh, man. Thank God. 1197 00:52:18.703 --> 00:52:19.870 Thank God I brought this. Here ya go. 1198 00:52:19.970 --> 00:52:22.673 Fuck yes. Let's fucking party. 1199 00:52:23.974 --> 00:52:25.109 Wait a minute. 1200 00:52:26.010 --> 00:52:28.279 -What is this really? -What do you mean? 1201 00:52:28.379 --> 00:52:31.516 This isn't cocaine, it's the COVID vaccine, isn't it?! 1202 00:52:31.616 --> 00:52:34.151 I'm not putting that shit in my body! 1203 00:52:34.252 --> 00:52:35.886 Forget it, guys, it didn't work. 1204 00:52:35.986 --> 00:52:37.355 (all groaning) 1205 00:52:37.455 --> 00:52:40.124 You guys were gonna trick me into taking the vaccine?! 1206 00:52:40.225 --> 00:52:42.327 Goddamn it, Clyde, we want to get out of here! 1207 00:52:42.427 --> 00:52:45.563 My body is a temple and I'm not taking that shit! 1208 00:52:45.663 --> 00:52:47.798 Let's just face it, guys, it's over. 1209 00:52:47.898 --> 00:52:50.134 We're never going to find what Kenny was after. 1210 00:52:50.235 --> 00:52:52.437 Whoever controls the world and killed our friend 1211 00:52:52.537 --> 00:52:54.104 is just gonna get away with it. 1212 00:52:54.205 --> 00:52:55.706 KYLE: Not so fast! 1213 00:52:57.942 --> 00:53:01.312 We did it! We found Kenny's hidden information! 1214 00:53:01.412 --> 00:53:03.248 -You did? -And now we can finally 1215 00:53:03.348 --> 00:53:04.249 learn the truth! 1216 00:53:04.349 --> 00:53:05.650 Whoever Kenny was after, 1217 00:53:05.750 --> 00:53:08.219 we are gonna take those fuckers down! 1218 00:53:08.319 --> 00:53:09.587 (beeps) 1219 00:53:09.687 --> 00:53:11.556 (static crackles) 1220 00:53:11.656 --> 00:53:15.860 The date is November 3rd. It is 2:07 p.m. 1221 00:53:15.960 --> 00:53:18.296 Dr. Kenneth McCormick will now be 1222 00:53:18.396 --> 00:53:20.331 attempting to travel back in time. 1223 00:53:20.431 --> 00:53:24.469 In order to stop the COVID pandemic from ever happening. 1224 00:53:25.270 --> 00:53:26.170 He did it? 1225 00:53:26.271 --> 00:53:27.638 Dr. McCormick believes 1226 00:53:27.738 --> 00:53:28.639 that going back 1227 00:53:28.739 --> 00:53:30.107 is the only way 1228 00:53:30.207 --> 00:53:32.810 to stop the people who have ruined the future. 1229 00:53:32.910 --> 00:53:35.413 In the event of Dr. McCormick's death, 1230 00:53:35.513 --> 00:53:37.315 he wants everyone to know the group 1231 00:53:37.415 --> 00:53:39.784 that is responsible for the way things are. 1232 00:53:39.884 --> 00:53:42.487 It is, "My three dickhead friends, 1233 00:53:42.587 --> 00:53:44.989 Stan, Kyle and Cartman." 1234 00:53:45.990 --> 00:53:46.724 What?! 1235 00:53:46.824 --> 00:53:48.526 Dr. McCormick says 1236 00:53:48.626 --> 00:53:50.728 that these three completely ruined everything 1237 00:53:50.828 --> 00:53:53.097 when they let COVID break up their friendship 1238 00:53:53.197 --> 00:53:56.401 and became argumentative, combative, pessimistic assholes. 1239 00:53:56.501 --> 00:53:59.003 (muffled muttering) 1240 00:53:59.103 --> 00:54:01.005 He says he hopes you guys are watching this. 1241 00:54:01.105 --> 00:54:05.009 (muffled shouting) 1242 00:54:05.910 --> 00:54:08.212 He spent his whole life trying to fix your broship 1243 00:54:08.313 --> 00:54:10.214 and then realized this was the only way, 1244 00:54:10.315 --> 00:54:11.682 'cause you guys suck. 1245 00:54:11.782 --> 00:54:14.385 -(loud zapping) -The sequence is active! 1246 00:54:14.485 --> 00:54:16.554 The historic moment is here! 1247 00:54:16.654 --> 00:54:18.356 Godspeed, Dr. McCormick! 1248 00:54:18.456 --> 00:54:19.857 (zapping continues) 1249 00:54:19.957 --> 00:54:23.160 Wait! Dr. McCormick, you forgot your chin diaper! 1250 00:54:23.260 --> 00:54:24.395 (alarm blaring) 1251 00:54:24.495 --> 00:54:26.030 Something's wrong! 1252 00:54:26.130 --> 00:54:28.633 -(explosions) -(electronic trilling) 1253 00:54:29.400 --> 00:54:31.302 (shouting) 1254 00:54:48.386 --> 00:54:51.021 (coughing) 1255 00:54:53.424 --> 00:54:56.160 All this time, the bad guys we were after, 1256 00:54:56.260 --> 00:55:00.865 who Kenny said ruined the future, was you guys? 1257 00:55:00.965 --> 00:55:03.167 Wendy, I've been trying not to say anything but... 1258 00:55:03.267 --> 00:55:06.170 your friends are all kind of douchebags. 1259 00:55:08.072 --> 00:55:10.107 * * 1260 00:55:10.207 --> 00:55:11.509 Kenny was right. 1261 00:55:11.609 --> 00:55:13.678 All this time, we've been trying to figure out 1262 00:55:13.778 --> 00:55:16.347 whose fault this all was. 1263 00:55:16.447 --> 00:55:18.282 It was our fault. 1264 00:55:18.383 --> 00:55:20.518 I remember when we were kids. 1265 00:55:20.618 --> 00:55:23.087 We were so optimistic. 1266 00:55:23.187 --> 00:55:26.857 We lost that. We lost our sense of fun. 1267 00:55:26.957 --> 00:55:29.226 Our sense of humor. 1268 00:55:29.326 --> 00:55:32.229 Maybe the pandemic was a big test. 1269 00:55:32.329 --> 00:55:34.765 And we all failed. 1270 00:55:34.865 --> 00:55:37.301 Let's face it, guys. 1271 00:55:37.402 --> 00:55:39.336 We killed Kenny. 1272 00:55:42.607 --> 00:55:44.141 Yeah. Kenny was right. 1273 00:55:44.241 --> 00:55:46.911 Back in the old days, we wouldn't give up like this. 1274 00:55:47.011 --> 00:55:48.813 We would have just set out to save our friend, 1275 00:55:48.913 --> 00:55:50.881 no matter how impossible it seemed. 1276 00:55:50.981 --> 00:55:52.850 What we would have done-- 1277 00:55:52.950 --> 00:55:54.485 and what we should have done then-- 1278 00:55:54.585 --> 00:55:56.387 was double down on our respect 1279 00:55:56.487 --> 00:55:59.156 and our love for one another and fight through it 1280 00:55:59.256 --> 00:56:01.592 instead of fighting with each other. 1281 00:56:01.692 --> 00:56:03.327 We can save Kenny. 1282 00:56:03.428 --> 00:56:05.062 We just have to finish his work. 1283 00:56:05.162 --> 00:56:07.665 How? We don't know anything about quantum physics 1284 00:56:07.765 --> 00:56:09.266 and time travel. 1285 00:56:09.366 --> 00:56:12.837 I don't know how. But we start by believing. 1286 00:56:12.937 --> 00:56:15.773 In each other and in what is yet to come. 1287 00:56:15.873 --> 00:56:19.309 We have to go back to being those kids we once were. 1288 00:56:19.410 --> 00:56:22.880 Even if it means calling Jesus or Santa. 1289 00:56:22.980 --> 00:56:24.715 Come on, guys, we've got work to do! 1290 00:56:24.815 --> 00:56:27.652 Sounds good. I'll be right back. 1291 00:56:29.654 --> 00:56:31.388 Moisha, Hackelm, kids, get your things. 1292 00:56:31.489 --> 00:56:32.490 We need to go now. 1293 00:56:32.590 --> 00:56:33.958 What's going on, Dad? 1294 00:56:34.058 --> 00:56:36.160 Your Uncle Kyle wants to go back and change things. 1295 00:56:36.260 --> 00:56:38.596 He's going to try and change the past. 1296 00:56:38.696 --> 00:56:41.198 But I like things the way they are. 1297 00:56:41.298 --> 00:56:44.168 Me too, Dad. Do you think he'll be able to do it? 1298 00:56:44.268 --> 00:56:45.736 No, kids. 1299 00:56:45.836 --> 00:56:47.572 Fuck Uncle Kyle. 1300 00:56:47.672 --> 00:56:48.706 BOTH: Yay! 1301 00:56:48.806 --> 00:56:50.808 -Yay, Daddy! -Fuck Uncle Kyle! 1302 00:56:54.679 --> 00:56:56.914 It wasn't supposed to be like this. 1303 00:56:57.014 --> 00:57:00.084 People were supposed to get kinder in the future. 1304 00:57:00.918 --> 00:57:03.554 I'm so sorry what happened to both of you. 1305 00:57:03.654 --> 00:57:06.390 It wasn't your fault, Randy. 1306 00:57:06.491 --> 00:57:08.759 It was all Stan's fault. 1307 00:57:08.859 --> 00:57:12.396 Yes, it was all Stan's fault. 1308 00:57:13.197 --> 00:57:15.332 Thanks for saying that, you guys. 1309 00:57:15.432 --> 00:57:17.868 I'm sorry Stan sucks so hard sometimes. 1310 00:57:17.968 --> 00:57:20.270 Don't give up, Randy. 1311 00:57:20.370 --> 00:57:22.239 Humanity needs you. 1312 00:57:22.339 --> 00:57:23.941 No! 1313 00:57:24.041 --> 00:57:26.176 I can't do it alone! 1314 00:57:26.276 --> 00:57:29.747 How can things possibly go back to the way they were? 1315 00:57:29.847 --> 00:57:32.082 (wind gusting) 1316 00:57:42.760 --> 00:57:44.361 It can't be. 1317 00:57:44.461 --> 00:57:45.830 It's impossible. 1318 00:57:48.165 --> 00:57:52.436 It's the last little sprout of Tegridy. 1319 00:57:58.442 --> 00:58:00.611 I have to get you somewhere safe. 1320 00:58:00.711 --> 00:58:03.047 We have a lot of work to do. 1321 00:58:03.814 --> 00:58:06.050 * * 1322 00:58:10.588 --> 00:58:12.823 (footsteps echoing) 1323 00:58:16.661 --> 00:58:19.196 (people wailing) 1324 00:58:19.296 --> 00:58:22.299 (crazed laughter) 1325 00:58:23.934 --> 00:58:28.072 We just had another call asking to speak with Victor Chouce. 1326 00:58:28.172 --> 00:58:31.008 You're quite a popular man, Victor. 1327 00:58:34.444 --> 00:58:37.114 I wonder what all the fuss is about. 1328 00:58:40.117 --> 00:58:43.788 Don't feel like talking, huh? (chuckles) 1329 00:58:43.888 --> 00:58:46.123 You will. 1330 00:58:49.026 --> 00:58:51.328 * We are all, you and me * 1331 00:58:51.428 --> 00:58:55.132 * We are all living in the future * 1332 00:58:55.232 --> 00:58:57.568 * We can't get stuff 'cause boats are late * 1333 00:58:57.668 --> 00:59:01.872 * And nobody's working in the future * 1334 00:59:03.841 --> 00:59:08.145 * They don't sell tostadas anymore at Taco Bell * 1335 00:59:08.245 --> 00:59:10.380 * Welcome to the future * 1336 00:59:11.315 --> 00:59:12.917 * In the future * 1337 00:59:14.318 --> 00:59:16.854 * We are living in the future * 1338 00:59:17.955 --> 00:59:20.090 * It's the future * 1339 00:59:21.058 --> 00:59:23.260 * We're living in the future. *