WEBVTT FILE
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Downloaded from
YTS.MX
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Official YIFY movies site:
YTS.MX
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The holiday season is here.
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And I've been knitting
the perfect sweater
for Ugly Sweater Day.
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Just so you know,
I don't think you're ugly.
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I could spend forever
in your arms...
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Your itchy, scritchy-scratchy
wool arms.
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00:00:47.423 --> 00:00:48.424 line:5%
So nice.
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Thanks, Urkelbot.
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00:00:52.261 --> 00:00:54.722 line:5%
Now that it's officially
the holiday season,
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00:00:54.722 --> 00:00:58.559 line:5%
this room feels
so November. Ugh.
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00:00:58.559 --> 00:01:00.352 line:5%
But this is the perfect time
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for me to try out
my newest invention.
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Steve Urkel Industries presents
the Decemberizer!
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With a simple flip of a switch,
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the holidays are
at your fingertips.
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Oops!
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Oh, no.
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Oh! Bright lights.
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♪ I love December ♪
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00:01:50.277 --> 00:01:52.822
♪ It's my favorite month
of the year ♪
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00:01:52.822 --> 00:01:55.324
♪ From the first to the 31st ♪
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00:01:55.324 --> 00:01:58.202
♪ I celebrate
all that good cheer ♪
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00:01:58.202 --> 00:02:00.579
♪ I love December ♪
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00:02:00.579 --> 00:02:03.082
♪ I don't mean other months
are not great ♪
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00:02:03.082 --> 00:02:06.001
♪ I don't want them to feel
a way ♪
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♪ But it's not up for debate ♪
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Shh! Shh! Steve! Keep it down!
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00:02:10.130 --> 00:02:13.133
I can't keep it down,
my postal pal!
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00:02:13.133 --> 00:02:17.721
Do you know that I've been
waiting 334 days for it
to be December again?
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00:02:17.721 --> 00:02:21.100
And now that it's here,
I can't waste a minute of it.
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00:02:21.100 --> 00:02:23.644
♪ I love putting up
a Christmas tree ♪
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00:02:23.644 --> 00:02:26.063
♪ And hanging up a wreath ♪
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00:02:26.063 --> 00:02:28.983
♪ But I also love
a Kwanzaa feast ♪
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00:02:28.983 --> 00:02:31.318
♪ Flossing corn
out of my teeth ♪
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00:02:31.318 --> 00:02:33.779
♪ I love celebrating Hanukkah ♪
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00:02:33.779 --> 00:02:36.240
♪ Sometimes I get to light
the menorah ♪
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00:02:36.240 --> 00:02:39.076
♪ I love snowball fights
with my snow-bot army ♪
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00:02:39.076 --> 00:02:41.495
♪ This year
I'm coming for ya!♪
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00:02:43.998 --> 00:02:46.584
♪ There's so many great days
in December ♪
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00:02:46.584 --> 00:02:49.044
♪ It's hard to pick
my favorite ♪
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♪ So I celebrate them
one and all ♪
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♪ So I can really savor it ♪
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It's just like that documentary
The Purge.
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Everyone for themselves.
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No, Mr. Kalan.
It's just Steve Urkel.
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00:03:03.392 --> 00:03:06.395
Oh, right. It's December.
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♪ Oh, I love December ♪
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00:03:09.148 --> 00:03:11.275
♪ It's the number one gathering
of days ♪
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♪ It starts on the 335th ♪
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♪ Alternatively 336th
on a leap year ♪
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Not if you use
a lunar calendar.
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What? I'm just trying
to be inclusive.
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♪ I love December ♪
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♪ It's the best month
of the bunch ♪
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00:03:26.665 --> 00:03:29.043
♪ There's no fighting
on Boxing Day ♪
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♪ But there still might be
some punch ♪
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♪ Las Posadas is nine nights
of worship ♪
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00:03:33.714 --> 00:03:36.842
♪ Omisoka's day of cleansing
and fun ♪
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♪ With the Festivus
for the rest of us ♪
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♪ Oh!♪
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♪ There's something
for everyone ♪
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Steve! All the singing
and dancing is gonna
wake everybody up.
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Everybody up,
everybody up, everybody up.
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Well, not to quibble,
but technically,
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you're being a lot louder
than me, right now.
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♪ The holidays
have traditions ♪
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♪ They shouldn't be forgotten ♪
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♪ To not respect them at all ♪
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♪ Would really be
quite rotten ♪
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♪ It's not just about
presents and toys ♪
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00:04:13.337 --> 00:04:15.839
♪ These holidays
have meanings ♪
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♪ They bring
families together ♪
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♪ Despite their
political leanings ♪
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♪ This season isn't
just a day ♪
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♪ We decorate
a Christmas tree ♪
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♪ We must never
forget December's ♪
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00:04:28.936 --> 00:04:35.067
♪ When we celebrate
the baby Jay-Z ♪
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- Sagittarius
in the building, ho!
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♪ I love December ♪
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00:04:40.155 --> 00:04:42.783
♪ It's my favorite month
of the year ♪
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00:04:42.783 --> 00:04:45.285
♪ From the first to the 31st ♪
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00:04:45.285 --> 00:04:47.663
♪ I celebrate
all the good cheer ♪
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00:04:47.663 --> 00:04:50.708
♪ Yes, he loves December ♪
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♪ He celebrates every holiday ♪
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♪ But that's still no excuse
for waking us up
on a Saturday ♪
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Oh, good, you're up!
Happy holidays, Mrs. Paxson.
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00:05:02.928 --> 00:05:05.597
I'm looking forward
to your eggnog cookies
this year.
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00:05:05.597 --> 00:05:07.808
Uh, don't skimp
on the cinnamon.
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00:05:07.808 --> 00:05:09.601
Happy Early Hanukkah,
Mr. Kalan.
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That's not a thing.
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It's just Hanukkah.
And it hasn't started yet.
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00:05:15.399 --> 00:05:18.569
But that doesn't mean
you can't get a head start
on celebrating.
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00:05:18.569 --> 00:05:22.114
Anybody need help getting
holiday lights out of
a musty basement?
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Kochiyama family?
I'm looking at you.
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00:05:25.325 --> 00:05:29.038
Steve, dear.
What we need is sleep.
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But, I let you sleep in
this year!
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Sure, compared to last year,
when you woke us up
at midnight!
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I just want this holiday season
to be the best it can be!
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And that means we can't waste
a minute of it!
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- As one of Santa's helpers.
- Steve?
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One of Santa's
"unofficial" helpers,
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I want everything to be perfect
for the big guy
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when he arrives. It's my job...
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Not your job.
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...to make sure there's enough
good cheer spread
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into every nook and cranny
of this month.
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It's not
an English muffin, kid.
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It's a month where we buy
more candles and wrapping paper
than usual.
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00:06:00.736 --> 00:06:03.906
Oh, I beg to differ,
It's Mr. K! Smell the air!
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00:06:03.906 --> 00:06:05.616
It's different
during the holidays.
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Smells the same to me.
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Like snow
and pumpkin spiced garbage.
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You can't get that in July,
which is why Santa doesn't
show up in the summer.
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He shows up in December
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because Santa's drawn
to the lumens of string lights,
the pollen of mistletoe,
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the euphoria of giving gifts
and higher concentrations
of goodwill.
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I always assumed
it was the Christmas carols?
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Those too.
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Now who wants to head
to the mall for a little
mall-iday window shopping?
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Steve, how can I put this
delicately?
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- No!
- What he said.
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Well, that was not the answer
I expected.
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Here's a thought!
You all rest up.
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Dream some holiday
themed dreams.
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And when I get back,
I'll be going door to door
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to test and untangle
everyone's holiday lights!
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These holidays aren't gonna
celebrate themselves!
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This package needs a signature.
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00:07:02.464 --> 00:07:04.466
I know you're in there,
Mrs. Paxson.
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Go, get him!
Guard up on him!
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He can shoot!
Oh! Time out, time out.
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Steve! Wait up!
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00:07:13.183 --> 00:07:15.310
Hey, thanks for fixing up
the court man. It's amazing!
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00:07:15.310 --> 00:07:18.981
Aw, no sweat Jordan!
Well except for the sweat
on the court.
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00:07:20.357 --> 00:07:21.984
I'm glad that
my microwave powered,
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00:07:21.984 --> 00:07:24.153
climate controlled concrete
is a hit!
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Microwave powered? Wait, wait!
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Is it going to stunt our growth
or anything?
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00:07:28.532 --> 00:07:32.744
Not at all. My Urkel Industries
patent-pending Clima-Crete
is perfectly safe.
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If anything, it might make you
grow a few inches.
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- Really?
- No.
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You're probably never gonna get
taller than five foot ten,
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00:07:42.754 --> 00:07:46.925
just basing that on your
general bone density
and family history. Sorry.
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00:07:46.925 --> 00:07:50.929
Now Horace
on the other hand, whew,
you might hit seven feet!
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00:07:50.929 --> 00:07:53.515
Hey, uh, you should
take your jacket off
and stay a while.
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As much as I'd love
to impress you
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with this killer cross over,
I've gotta head to the mall!
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It's a big day!
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They're lighting up
the giant Christmas tree.
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00:08:02.024 --> 00:08:05.360
- What? They like plug it in?
- Yes!
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00:08:05.360 --> 00:08:08.655
Over two thousand
twinkling lights
and shiny ornaments!
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00:08:08.655 --> 00:08:11.074
I like to oversee
the stringing of the garland.
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Make sure the popcorn
to cranberry ratio isn't off.
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Do you get paid to do that?
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No. It's sort of a
volunteer position I created.
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It's tough and tasty work
but someone has to do it.
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The city's gotta be perfect
for when the big guy arrives
on his sleigh!
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Oops! I almost walked off
with the rock.
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Hey Horace! No look pass!
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Whoa? What! What the?
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Steve! What'd you do?
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You're always saying
how you want to make it rain
buckets on the court,
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00:08:54.701 --> 00:08:56.328
so there you go!
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I built a rain machine.
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00:08:58.872 --> 00:09:02.376
Although I don't know
why you'd want to play b-ball
in the rain. It seems slippery.
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00:09:02.376 --> 00:09:06.880
But I guess that's how
the Splash Brothers
got started.
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Did you know
the Splash Brothers
are not really brothers?
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On, no... is that?
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Doh, it's the holiday boy.
Nope. Not today.
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He can catch the next bus.
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Ah! There's something
wrong with this bus.
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- Ah! Here! Let me help you!
- Hey! Hey! Hey! Put me down!
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I'm on a schedule here.
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I need you all to scoot.
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Thanks for riding the Metro...
You old weirdos.
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- I'm okay.
- Phew!
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Happy holidays,
Sheryl the bus driver!
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Ugh! Holiday boy.
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00:09:48.630 --> 00:09:51.258
Take me to the Twin Ferns Mall
and step on it!
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00:09:51.258 --> 00:09:55.387
And by "step on it,"
I mean "drive safely and make
all of your scheduled stops."
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Ugh!
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00:09:56.805 --> 00:09:59.474
And we're on our way!
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♪ Dashing through the snow
on a city bus ♪
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00:10:02.269 --> 00:10:05.981
Nope! Not this year!
No singing!
186
00:10:05.981 --> 00:10:10.444
I'm going to need you
to dial your energy down
to about a three.
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00:10:10.444 --> 00:10:12.404
Out of nine hundred.
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00:10:12.404 --> 00:10:14.531
Starting today,
the Twin Ferns Mall
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00:10:14.531 --> 00:10:18.410
gets its annual mall-iday
makeover!
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Giant snowflakes hang
from the ceiling.
191
00:10:20.620 --> 00:10:22.664
Tinsel everywhere.
192
00:10:22.664 --> 00:10:25.709
Oh, there's nothing like
seeing the first fake snow
of the season.
193
00:10:25.709 --> 00:10:27.252
Picking out a Christmas tree...
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00:10:27.252 --> 00:10:28.837
scented candle.
195
00:10:28.837 --> 00:10:31.298
Ooh, I do love
a scented candle.
196
00:10:39.139 --> 00:10:43.018
♪ The holiday spirit's
all over the mall...♪
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00:10:43.018 --> 00:10:46.897
Boy! If you don't stop singing,
I'm gonna make a call.
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00:10:46.897 --> 00:10:48.690
♪ From the fancy soap store ♪
199
00:10:48.690 --> 00:10:50.567
♪ Exfoliate your pores ♪
200
00:10:50.567 --> 00:10:55.072
♪ Smell like gingerbread
and apple cider!♪
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00:10:55.072 --> 00:10:58.492
I'm having some trouble
with a rider.
202
00:10:58.492 --> 00:11:02.245
♪ The mall-iday season
is what I sing of ♪
203
00:11:02.245 --> 00:11:05.957
♪ When department store windows
show mannequins in love ♪
204
00:11:05.957 --> 00:11:08.877
Sheryl,
should we, uh, call the police?
205
00:11:08.877 --> 00:11:10.337
No, no.
206
00:11:10.337 --> 00:11:13.090
Just get him
to stop singing please.
207
00:11:13.090 --> 00:11:16.718
♪ Showing off the best pants
for cold weather ♪
208
00:11:16.718 --> 00:11:20.764
♪ While chopping down
a Christmas tree together ♪
209
00:11:20.764 --> 00:11:25.852
♪ It's a winter wonderland
with escalators!♪
210
00:11:25.852 --> 00:11:28.397
He got to you?
Jerry, you are such a traitor!
211
00:11:28.397 --> 00:11:32.234
♪ Head up to the food court
and don't take too long ♪
212
00:11:32.234 --> 00:11:34.319
♪ Or you'll miss
the first graders ♪
213
00:11:34.319 --> 00:11:36.029
♪ Sing the dreidel song ♪
214
00:11:36.029 --> 00:11:39.825
That is cute, okay.
But no! Stop singing!
215
00:11:39.825 --> 00:11:43.495
♪ Now, if you are hungry
there's a store
that sells ham ♪
216
00:11:43.495 --> 00:11:50.085
♪ And the Chef Shop
where they'll teach you
to candy a yam ♪
217
00:11:50.085 --> 00:11:52.879
♪ While convincing you
to buy a multi-cooker ♪
218
00:11:52.879 --> 00:11:54.923
Is that like a crock pot?
219
00:11:54.923 --> 00:11:56.925
♪ Kinda sorta
but it's even cooler ♪
220
00:11:56.925 --> 00:11:59.136
Why are you helping him?
221
00:11:59.136 --> 00:12:03.390
♪ 'Cause it's a
winter wonderland
with escalators!♪
222
00:12:05.725 --> 00:12:11.857
♪ The parking lot's got a rink
for ice skaters!♪
223
00:12:11.857 --> 00:12:13.733
Now he got to you too?
224
00:12:13.733 --> 00:12:17.112
♪ And last but not least
The true star of the show ♪
225
00:12:17.112 --> 00:12:20.949
♪ Department Store Santa's
there to hear all your wishes ♪
226
00:12:20.949 --> 00:12:24.119
♪ Right now my wishes
is for you to shush-es ♪
227
00:12:24.119 --> 00:12:26.121
♪ His elves walk you
into his village ♪
228
00:12:26.121 --> 00:12:28.081
♪ And up to his sleigh ♪
229
00:12:28.081 --> 00:12:34.629
♪ So you can have a photo
of a great mall-iday!♪
230
00:12:34.629 --> 00:12:41.511
♪ 'Cause it's a winter
wonderland with escalators!♪
231
00:12:43.263 --> 00:12:48.143
Come on, Sheryl,
don't be such a hater!
232
00:12:48.143 --> 00:12:50.312
All right, fine.
233
00:12:50.312 --> 00:12:57.402
♪ It's a winter wonderland
with escalators!♪
234
00:12:57.986 --> 00:13:04.993
♪ And ADA
compliant elevators!♪
235
00:13:06.036 --> 00:13:09.915
♪ There's not much more
we can say ♪
236
00:13:09.915 --> 00:13:13.919
♪ We can't wait
for the mall-iday ♪
237
00:13:18.548 --> 00:13:20.884
This is why I don't like it
when you sing!
238
00:13:20.884 --> 00:13:22.636
You get my hopes up.
239
00:13:22.636 --> 00:13:24.471
I don't understand!
240
00:13:24.471 --> 00:13:26.306
Where are the mall-idays?
241
00:13:26.306 --> 00:13:29.601
Looks like
I'm finishing my route
after all.
242
00:13:29.601 --> 00:13:33.522
Wait, is that a sale
at Tanya's Confidential?
30% off?
243
00:13:34.189 --> 00:13:35.607
Excuse me!
244
00:13:35.607 --> 00:13:37.859
Um, why isn't the giant
Christmas tree up?
245
00:13:37.859 --> 00:13:39.903
Is it on the way?
246
00:13:39.903 --> 00:13:42.155
Is it stuck in traffic
along with the giant
inflatable dreidel
247
00:13:42.155 --> 00:13:44.991
that is usually in the
parking lot wishing everyone
a Chag Sameach?
248
00:13:44.991 --> 00:13:47.202
Business has been slow
at the mall,
249
00:13:47.202 --> 00:13:50.997
so they figured why bother
with a big tree and decorations
this year.
250
00:13:50.997 --> 00:13:54.292
Wha? Santa is not going
to like this!
251
00:13:54.292 --> 00:13:58.797
Oh! Don't worry,
we still got a tree. See?
252
00:13:58.797 --> 00:14:00.382
Pretty nice, right?
253
00:14:00.382 --> 00:14:03.009
A very merry mall-iday to you!
254
00:14:06.888 --> 00:14:11.017
Where's the tinsel?
Where's the candy cane
colored clothes hangers?
255
00:14:11.017 --> 00:14:12.686
Where's the apple cider!
256
00:14:12.686 --> 00:14:15.105
It just smells like pretzels
in here!
257
00:14:15.105 --> 00:14:18.108
Why hasn't the piercing booth
become a gift wrapping station
yet?
258
00:14:18.108 --> 00:14:20.402
It's too cold to get
a nose ring!
259
00:14:26.366 --> 00:14:27.826
Oh, thank goodness.
260
00:14:37.669 --> 00:14:39.045
Welcome to Santa's Village.
261
00:14:39.045 --> 00:14:40.880
Are you ready
for a holly, jolly time?
262
00:14:40.880 --> 00:14:42.549
Is this place?
263
00:14:42.549 --> 00:14:45.427
Where's all the tinsel?
The lights and fake snow?
264
00:14:45.427 --> 00:14:47.762
It's the mall-idays!
Come on, people!
265
00:14:49.848 --> 00:14:51.600
- Who are you?
- Steve Urkel.
266
00:14:51.600 --> 00:14:53.893
I'm one of Santa's helpers.
267
00:14:53.893 --> 00:14:57.814
Really? Then why am I
the one wearing a nametag
and dressed like an elf?
268
00:14:57.814 --> 00:14:59.816
What? You're an elf?
269
00:14:59.816 --> 00:15:03.528
I figured you were
some bored kid
with weird taste in shoes.
270
00:15:03.528 --> 00:15:06.448
My shoes? Look at you!
271
00:15:06.448 --> 00:15:08.450
Are you rocking saddle shoes?
272
00:15:08.450 --> 00:15:12.495
Oh, I am. And when I click
my heels together,
they can do this.
273
00:15:12.495 --> 00:15:14.873
Perhaps purple and gold
is more your speed?
274
00:15:14.873 --> 00:15:18.460
Or maybe black and green?
How about red bottoms?
275
00:15:18.460 --> 00:15:20.837
- Okay, those are pretty cool!
276
00:15:20.837 --> 00:15:23.381
Thank you.
I created an LED leather.
277
00:15:23.381 --> 00:15:26.092
I don't need to know
the science.
278
00:15:26.092 --> 00:15:28.345
Just take the compliment,
Steve Urkel.
279
00:15:28.345 --> 00:15:30.764
It's taken like bacon.
Nom, nom, nom, nom.
280
00:15:30.764 --> 00:15:32.974
You're kind of corny.
281
00:15:32.974 --> 00:15:35.477
Hmm, corn. Nom, nom, nom...
282
00:15:35.477 --> 00:15:37.896
Okay, okay.
283
00:15:37.896 --> 00:15:40.607
My name's Robin.
You want to meet Santa?
284
00:15:40.607 --> 00:15:43.568
Well, to be clear,
Department Store Santa.
285
00:15:43.568 --> 00:15:46.863
- You can just call him Santa.
- Oh, no!
286
00:15:46.863 --> 00:15:48.698
There's an
important distinction!
287
00:15:48.698 --> 00:15:51.242
Not to minimize the role
of the DSS...
288
00:15:51.242 --> 00:15:52.285
DSS?
289
00:15:52.285 --> 00:15:54.329
Department Store Santa.
290
00:15:54.329 --> 00:15:56.873
It's more than a job,
it's a calling.
291
00:15:56.873 --> 00:15:59.876
Department Store Santas
hear the wishes of children.
292
00:15:59.876 --> 00:16:01.795
There's tall Santas,
short Santas,
293
00:16:01.795 --> 00:16:03.713
Santas of every shape, size
and gender.
294
00:16:03.713 --> 00:16:07.050
Department Store Santas
must be of the highest caliber.
295
00:16:07.050 --> 00:16:10.637
With ears that can hear
the voices of the
shiest children.
296
00:16:10.637 --> 00:16:12.847
They must have the nicest
of beards.
297
00:16:12.847 --> 00:16:16.851
Not too long,
but not too groomed
that they seem aloof.
298
00:16:16.851 --> 00:16:19.896
A Department Store Santa
has healthy knee cartilage
299
00:16:19.896 --> 00:16:22.273
to provide support
for the husky child.
300
00:16:22.273 --> 00:16:25.902
And a Santa suit so soft
it feels like a cloud.
301
00:16:25.902 --> 00:16:28.279
And so red it can be seen
in the dark.
302
00:16:28.279 --> 00:16:30.782
These heroes take up
the thankless mantle
303
00:16:30.782 --> 00:16:33.076
that comes with sitting
in that sleigh!
304
00:16:33.076 --> 00:16:36.079
I am honored to be
in the presence
of such greatness.
305
00:16:36.079 --> 00:16:40.208
And a little bummed out
that there aren't more people
here to witness his majesty.
306
00:16:40.208 --> 00:16:43.253
Hey, you there!
Gaze upon this greatness!
307
00:16:43.253 --> 00:16:47.882
I'm gonna keep gazing
on these sales, but thank you!
308
00:16:47.882 --> 00:16:50.009
Sheryl, what's your twenty?
309
00:16:50.009 --> 00:16:55.724
Uh, the snow is really
slowing things down.
310
00:16:57.809 --> 00:17:00.937
I'm [static noises] losing
you.
311
00:17:00.937 --> 00:17:04.023
Can't [static noises] hear
anything.
312
00:17:09.779 --> 00:17:11.573
Robin, I don't want to quibble,
313
00:17:11.573 --> 00:17:13.491
but if you want to
impress Santa,
314
00:17:13.491 --> 00:17:16.411
you might want to open
that gate with little more flash.
315
00:17:16.411 --> 00:17:19.622
Let's take it again,
but this time with some pizazz!
316
00:17:19.622 --> 00:17:22.459
Look, Steve, I get that
you're a fan of Santa.
317
00:17:22.459 --> 00:17:26.296
- A helper of Santa.
- No. I am a helper of Santa.
318
00:17:26.296 --> 00:17:28.256
Sure, the department store variety.
319
00:17:28.256 --> 00:17:29.758
Boy, stop it!
320
00:17:29.758 --> 00:17:32.135
You can go through
this gate and meet Santa
321
00:17:32.135 --> 00:17:35.764
or me and these mall issued
jingly bells will pizzazz you
out of this place.
322
00:17:35.764 --> 00:17:37.557
I'll go with the first option!
323
00:17:37.557 --> 00:17:39.350
Cannonball!
324
00:17:39.350 --> 00:17:41.352
Aagh! What's happening?
325
00:17:41.352 --> 00:17:43.188
- The Purge?
- Hey there, big guy!
326
00:17:43.188 --> 00:17:45.356
So great to see you
this year, DSS.
327
00:17:45.356 --> 00:17:47.400
Now my name should be
on one of your lists.
328
00:17:47.400 --> 00:17:50.028
Hopefully the "nice" one.
329
00:17:50.028 --> 00:17:53.823
All right, all right.
Just slow down, kid.
Slow down, now.
330
00:17:53.823 --> 00:17:55.867
Santa gotta do a few warm up
"ho-ho-hos."
331
00:17:55.867 --> 00:17:57.285
Oh, sure, sure. Take your time.
332
00:17:58.119 --> 00:18:02.165
Ho-ho-ho.
333
00:18:02.165 --> 00:18:07.003
Ho...
Ho...
Ho.
334
00:18:08.129 --> 00:18:10.882
Ho-ho-ho.
335
00:18:10.882 --> 00:18:13.051
Okay, I got it.
336
00:18:13.968 --> 00:18:15.845
Ho-ho-ho!
337
00:18:15.845 --> 00:18:17.347
Eh...
338
00:18:17.347 --> 00:18:19.641
Oh, gimme a break!
I'm a little rusty!
339
00:18:19.641 --> 00:18:21.434
Got to come in here
for these ho-ho-ho's.
I don't get to practice them.
340
00:18:21.434 --> 00:18:24.854
Now, what would you like
for Christmas, uh...
341
00:18:26.105 --> 00:18:27.732
Steve Urkel, sir.
342
00:18:27.732 --> 00:18:30.610
What would you like
for Christmas, Steve Urkel sir?
343
00:18:30.610 --> 00:18:32.862
I only want one thing
this year.
344
00:18:32.862 --> 00:18:37.242
One thing?
That's very considerate of you
to keep Santa's bag light.
345
00:18:37.242 --> 00:18:38.910
So what is it?
A new video game system?
346
00:18:38.910 --> 00:18:41.538
A puppy dog?
Please don't say world peace.
347
00:18:41.538 --> 00:18:43.832
- Cheese!
- Are we taking a picture now?
348
00:18:45.542 --> 00:18:47.627
No, I want cheese
for Christmas!
349
00:18:47.627 --> 00:18:50.755
Hmm, cheese?
350
00:18:50.755 --> 00:18:54.425
You thinking like
a grocery store cheese plate
with some charcuterie?
351
00:18:54.425 --> 00:18:56.469
Maybe a cheese of the month
club type of thing?
352
00:18:56.469 --> 00:19:00.557
Not quite. This year,
I'd like a taste of
one of the rarest,
353
00:19:00.557 --> 00:19:03.309
most exquisite cheeses
in the world.
354
00:19:03.309 --> 00:19:05.520
Ooh. You're a boy
after my own heart.
355
00:19:05.520 --> 00:19:06.938
I like a fine cheese.
356
00:19:06.938 --> 00:19:09.107
- Stop it! Stop it!
357
00:19:09.107 --> 00:19:14.070
What are we talking about?
A stilton? A Manchego?
A nice camembert?
358
00:19:14.070 --> 00:19:17.156
Serbian donkey cheese!
359
00:19:17.156 --> 00:19:19.784
- Serbia who now?
- Serbian donkey cheese.
360
00:19:19.784 --> 00:19:21.744
Do that sell that
at one of those fancy
grocery stores?
361
00:19:21.744 --> 00:19:24.414
No.
You have to travel to Serbia...
362
00:19:24.414 --> 00:19:27.834
Where you must take
a ferry to a small,
remote village,
363
00:19:27.834 --> 00:19:31.713
there atop a mountain
that can only be reached
on foot,
364
00:19:31.713 --> 00:19:37.218
lives one cheese monger
who has perfected the art
of milking donkeys.
365
00:19:37.218 --> 00:19:39.596
Eww. Gross.
366
00:19:39.596 --> 00:19:43.349
Which isn't easy,
because donkeys don't produce
much milk and they kick. A lot.
367
00:19:43.349 --> 00:19:45.143
Let me get this straight.
368
00:19:45.143 --> 00:19:48.313
You want cheese
from a tiny horse?
For Christmas?
369
00:19:48.313 --> 00:19:49.898
- Yep.
- Whoa!
370
00:19:49.898 --> 00:19:52.942
Serbian donkey cheese
is expensive!
371
00:19:52.942 --> 00:19:54.819
That's more than
I pay in rent!
372
00:19:54.819 --> 00:19:55.945
You sure you don't want
a puppy?
373
00:19:55.945 --> 00:19:57.614
I can't. Allergies.
374
00:19:57.614 --> 00:19:59.949
Aw! You're allergic to dogs?
375
00:19:59.949 --> 00:20:02.035
No. Dogs are allergic to me.
376
00:20:02.035 --> 00:20:04.162
The sound of my voice,
to be exact.
377
00:20:04.162 --> 00:20:07.540
The decibel range is a little
too harsh for their sensitive cochlea.
378
00:20:07.540 --> 00:20:11.419
Okay. Well, Santa will see
what he can do
about your cheese.
379
00:20:11.419 --> 00:20:12.670
Oh! Robin!!
380
00:20:12.670 --> 00:20:15.006
Okay. Who's ready for a photo?
381
00:20:15.006 --> 00:20:16.841
Donkey cheese!
382
00:20:19.260 --> 00:20:22.430
People are really missing out
on capturing a special moment
like this!
383
00:20:22.430 --> 00:20:24.390
Why is your phone so old?
384
00:20:24.390 --> 00:20:26.893
It looks like it could be
my phone's grandmother!
385
00:20:26.893 --> 00:20:30.438
Electronic waste is such a huge
environmental problem,
386
00:20:30.438 --> 00:20:33.608
so rather than buy a new phone,
I figured it might be nice
387
00:20:33.608 --> 00:20:36.152
to see if I could breathe
new life into something old.
388
00:20:36.152 --> 00:20:40.323
Oh, sure.
Kind of like rebooting
an old movie or TV show?
389
00:20:40.323 --> 00:20:41.991
Um...
390
00:20:47.163 --> 00:20:49.248
Hey, I should post this photo.
391
00:20:49.248 --> 00:20:51.876
Once people see me having
all this holiday fun,
392
00:20:51.876 --> 00:20:53.962
they'll want to get their photo
with DSS
393
00:20:53.962 --> 00:20:56.214
and that'll kickstart
a yuletide celebration
394
00:20:56.214 --> 00:20:57.757
that will pique
Santa's interest!
395
00:21:02.428 --> 00:21:03.471
Okay.
396
00:21:08.518 --> 00:21:12.438
And just like that
we're viral, baby!
397
00:21:12.438 --> 00:21:14.107
I'm an influenza!
398
00:21:14.107 --> 00:21:16.734
You mean influencer?
399
00:21:16.734 --> 00:21:18.820
Not when you're this viral!
400
00:21:18.820 --> 00:21:21.030
I'm taking away my like.
401
00:21:21.030 --> 00:21:25.743
Oh! Whoa, mama!
Guess who is going live
right now?
402
00:21:25.743 --> 00:21:27.829
Dudley Von Durffel!
403
00:21:27.829 --> 00:21:30.039
- The billionaire?
- The tech genius!
404
00:21:30.039 --> 00:21:31.666
Who is a billionaire.
405
00:21:31.666 --> 00:21:34.085
People call him
the "real life Bruce Wayne."
406
00:21:34.085 --> 00:21:37.338
In that he has unresolved
trauma at the tragic loss
of his parents?
407
00:21:37.338 --> 00:21:40.133
No! Because he's crazy rich!
408
00:21:40.133 --> 00:21:43.261
The guy owns a yacht
that is also a hot air balloon!
409
00:21:43.261 --> 00:21:47.056
No, having a yacht air balloon
isn't what makes him cool.
410
00:21:47.056 --> 00:21:51.978
Dudley Von Durffel is cool
because he sees innovation
where others don't.
411
00:21:53.896 --> 00:21:57.567
Hello! Wave emoji! Wave emoji!
412
00:21:57.567 --> 00:21:59.444
It's me, Dudley Von Durffel.
413
00:21:59.444 --> 00:22:02.947
Just maxxin' and chillaxin'
poolside 20,000 feet in the air
414
00:22:02.947 --> 00:22:06.367
and I figured why not check in
with my Von Durffollowers.
415
00:22:06.367 --> 00:22:08.745
Is he bored and desperately
looking for connection
416
00:22:08.745 --> 00:22:11.456
to feed the insatiable appetite
of his growing ego?
417
00:22:11.456 --> 00:22:13.750
Ugh, thumbs down emoji!
418
00:22:13.750 --> 00:22:16.127
I just want to get
to know my peeps, VDI!
419
00:22:23.676 --> 00:22:25.511
Huh? Again?
420
00:22:25.511 --> 00:22:28.639
Let's find someone cool
to interface with.
421
00:22:28.639 --> 00:22:32.226
Ugh! Here's a person:
@steveurkel.
422
00:22:32.226 --> 00:22:33.686
That's me.
423
00:22:33.686 --> 00:22:36.022
How is your phone's camera
better than mine?
424
00:22:36.022 --> 00:22:39.025
Hello, Dudley!
I'm such a huge fan!
425
00:22:39.025 --> 00:22:41.152
I'm an inventor myself.
426
00:22:41.152 --> 00:22:43.446
It appears he is a five time
winner of his state's science fair.
427
00:22:43.446 --> 00:22:46.866
Uh, okay, well, I was
a nine time state
science fair champ.
428
00:22:47.742 --> 00:22:49.535
- Boom!
- Wowzer!
429
00:22:49.535 --> 00:22:52.538
Right? I want to give you
some advice, @steveurkel.
430
00:22:52.538 --> 00:22:56.751
- Oh, just Steve is fine.
-@steveurkel... you need
to stop inventing.
431
00:22:56.751 --> 00:22:57.835
What?
432
00:22:57.835 --> 00:23:00.505
And start disrupting!
433
00:23:00.505 --> 00:23:02.173
I've got to be honest, Steve.
434
00:23:02.173 --> 00:23:04.300
Disrupting things seems like
it could upset people.
435
00:23:04.300 --> 00:23:06.260
Maybe @steveurkel's friend--
436
00:23:06.260 --> 00:23:09.180
Facial recognition says
her name is Robin Robles.
437
00:23:09.180 --> 00:23:11.057
You know that I'm not using
names anymore!
438
00:23:11.057 --> 00:23:13.518
The future of communication
is handles! Okay!
439
00:23:13.518 --> 00:23:17.230
On the socials I'm @robirob381.
440
00:23:17.230 --> 00:23:19.607
Thank you! @robirob381.
441
00:23:19.607 --> 00:23:22.193
There was a time when people
traveled everywhere
442
00:23:22.193 --> 00:23:24.737
by horse drawn carriage, okay.
443
00:23:24.737 --> 00:23:29.158
But then Henry Ford
disrupted all of that
with the automobile.
444
00:23:29.158 --> 00:23:31.410
Does that make Henry Ford
a bad guy?
445
00:23:31.410 --> 00:23:35.456
Not for the car stuff,
but definitely for some
of the other stuff.
446
00:23:35.456 --> 00:23:37.875
Fair point... He was...
He was not a good person.
447
00:23:37.875 --> 00:23:40.419
No. He was a real l-o-s-3-r.
448
00:23:40.419 --> 00:23:42.713
Auto correcting.
He means "loser."
449
00:23:42.713 --> 00:23:45.216
Inventing is giving people
what they want!
450
00:23:45.216 --> 00:23:48.594
Now disrupting is grabbing
people by the collar
and yanking them
451
00:23:48.594 --> 00:23:50.304
into the future! Yeah.
452
00:23:50.304 --> 00:23:52.223
Huh? what do you think
he means by... Help!
453
00:23:54.767 --> 00:23:57.311
♪ When a great idea's
inside your head ♪
454
00:23:57.311 --> 00:23:59.772
♪ You rush to write it down ♪
455
00:23:59.772 --> 00:24:02.275
♪ Now you might misspell
a word or two ♪
456
00:24:02.275 --> 00:24:04.610
♪ But the genius
is what's sound ♪
457
00:24:04.610 --> 00:24:07.280
♪ Sure, you could move
real slowly ♪
458
00:24:07.280 --> 00:24:10.074
♪ Dot every "i"
Cross every "t"♪
459
00:24:10.074 --> 00:24:12.076
♪ But all that
quadruple checking ♪
460
00:24:12.076 --> 00:24:14.912
♪ Doesn't cut the edge
of technology ♪
461
00:24:14.912 --> 00:24:17.123
♪ You can't wait to see
who's ready ♪
462
00:24:17.123 --> 00:24:19.500
♪ Can't ask "Is this okay?"♪
463
00:24:19.500 --> 00:24:22.253
♪ Just make something amazing ♪
464
00:24:22.253 --> 00:24:24.797
♪ That'll blow everyone away ♪
465
00:24:24.797 --> 00:24:27.175
♪ And when you start
to build it ♪
466
00:24:27.175 --> 00:24:29.677
♪ You don't want
to be delayed ♪
467
00:24:29.677 --> 00:24:32.221
♪ You gotta get it
to the people ♪
468
00:24:32.221 --> 00:24:34.473
♪ Give their lives
a big upgrade ♪
469
00:24:34.473 --> 00:24:36.434
♪ So you gotta move fast ♪
470
00:24:36.434 --> 00:24:37.727
♪ Break things ♪
471
00:24:37.727 --> 00:24:38.936
♪ Move fast ♪
472
00:24:38.936 --> 00:24:40.188
♪ Break things ♪
473
00:24:40.188 --> 00:24:42.273
♪ Ask for forgiveness after ♪
474
00:24:42.273 --> 00:24:44.567
♪ You've delivered joy
and laughter ♪
475
00:24:44.567 --> 00:24:46.777
♪ You gotta move fast ♪
476
00:24:46.777 --> 00:24:48.988
♪ Break things ♪
♪ Move fast ♪
477
00:24:48.988 --> 00:24:50.615
♪ Break things ♪
478
00:24:50.615 --> 00:24:52.200
♪ By disrupting
everybody's world ♪
479
00:24:52.200 --> 00:24:54.118
♪ It only happens
when you move fast ♪
480
00:24:54.118 --> 00:24:56.954
♪ And break things ♪
481
00:24:56.954 --> 00:24:59.832
Uh, moving fast sounds
kind of dangerous.
482
00:24:59.832 --> 00:25:01.417
That's how accidents happen.
483
00:25:04.921 --> 00:25:07.590
♪ Accidents happen
all the time ♪
484
00:25:07.590 --> 00:25:09.926
♪ We trip, we stumble
We bump our noggin ♪
485
00:25:09.926 --> 00:25:13.054
♪ If we stop moving forward
people point ♪
486
00:25:13.054 --> 00:25:15.181
♪ They laugh, make memes
They start mockin'♪
487
00:25:15.181 --> 00:25:17.600
♪ In the world of tech
There will be bugs ♪
488
00:25:17.600 --> 00:25:19.894
♪ OS flaws
and backend mistakes ♪
489
00:25:19.894 --> 00:25:21.938
♪ Don't wanna be
a laughingstock?♪
490
00:25:21.938 --> 00:25:24.899
♪ Well, don't stop
whenever something breaks ♪
491
00:25:24.899 --> 00:25:27.068
♪ This world
is our laboratory ♪
492
00:25:27.068 --> 00:25:29.695
♪ Everything around us
is just data ♪
493
00:25:29.695 --> 00:25:32.573
♪ So instead of saying
"Did I do that"♪
494
00:25:32.573 --> 00:25:34.825
♪ Just shrug and say
"It's still in beta!"♪
495
00:25:34.825 --> 00:25:36.452
♪ And then
Move fast ♪
496
00:25:36.452 --> 00:25:37.578
♪ Break things ♪
497
00:25:37.578 --> 00:25:38.955
♪ Move fast ♪
498
00:25:38.955 --> 00:25:40.206
♪ Break things ♪
499
00:25:40.206 --> 00:25:42.208
♪ Ask for forgiveness after ♪
500
00:25:42.208 --> 00:25:44.335
♪ You've delivered
joy and laughter ♪
501
00:25:44.335 --> 00:25:46.462
♪ No, you gotta move fast ♪
502
00:25:46.462 --> 00:25:47.672
♪ Break things ♪
503
00:25:47.672 --> 00:25:49.006
♪ Move fast ♪
504
00:25:49.006 --> 00:25:50.841
♪ Break things ♪
505
00:25:50.841 --> 00:25:57.807
♪ Let your inventions rock
everybody's world ♪
506
00:25:57.807 --> 00:26:05.273
♪ It only happens
when you move fast ♪
507
00:26:05.273 --> 00:26:07.733
♪ Ba de ba da ba da ♪
508
00:26:07.733 --> 00:26:08.985
♪ And break things ♪
509
00:26:10.695 --> 00:26:14.156
Wow! Okay, now I want
to find something to disrupt!
510
00:26:14.156 --> 00:26:16.617
Look, I'm not sitting
in my own yacht air balloon
511
00:26:16.617 --> 00:26:18.911
because I waited for permission
to change the world.
512
00:26:18.911 --> 00:26:20.705
No. I just changed it
513
00:26:20.705 --> 00:26:23.249
and this baby is
a very expensive,
514
00:26:23.249 --> 00:26:26.627
really, like really,
fuel inefficient thank you gift
for myself. Yeah.
515
00:26:26.627 --> 00:26:30.381
Whoa! Whoa!
Keep it steady, VDI!
516
00:26:30.381 --> 00:26:32.341
We've got some choppy
skies up here.
517
00:26:32.341 --> 00:26:34.677
You see, this is why we need
to get rid of the wind!
518
00:26:34.677 --> 00:26:38.097
Ugh. @steveurkel,
look around you.
519
00:26:38.097 --> 00:26:41.851
Is there something
that you see that
could be better for society?
520
00:26:41.851 --> 00:26:47.732
Hmm. Since it's the holidays,
maybe there's a way to spread
even more holiday cheer?
521
00:26:47.732 --> 00:26:49.734
Well, if you think the holidays
need shaking up,
522
00:26:49.734 --> 00:26:51.986
then find a way
to disrupt them, buddy.
523
00:26:51.986 --> 00:26:53.487
The nicest thing you can do
for people
524
00:26:53.487 --> 00:26:55.698
is disrupt their lives
for the better.
525
00:26:55.698 --> 00:26:57.825
- Okay?
- All right.
526
00:26:57.825 --> 00:27:00.953
- I'm going to disrupt
the holidays.
527
00:27:00.953 --> 00:27:02.455
Um...
528
00:27:02.455 --> 00:27:03.622
Steve.
529
00:27:05.249 --> 00:27:07.835
Look at that.
You've already started.
530
00:27:18.179 --> 00:27:19.722
Thanks, Urkelbot.
531
00:27:19.722 --> 00:27:21.390
If this is going to become
the best holiday ever,
532
00:27:21.390 --> 00:27:23.809
I need to become
Santa's Number One Elf.
533
00:27:23.809 --> 00:27:25.227
Ooh! Even better!
534
00:27:25.227 --> 00:27:29.106
Santa's Urkelf! But what to do?
535
00:27:29.106 --> 00:27:31.901
Hmm. We might be pulling
an all-nighter.
536
00:27:41.327 --> 00:27:42.870
Ah! I think I've got it!
537
00:27:46.624 --> 00:27:49.585
Oh, that's good.
That's really good.
538
00:27:49.585 --> 00:27:51.754
Ow, that's hot!
That's really hot!
539
00:27:57.635 --> 00:28:00.930
One hot cocoa,
milk and two sugars.
540
00:28:00.930 --> 00:28:02.890
Thanks.
541
00:28:02.890 --> 00:28:05.476
You catch the game last night?
Nobody was rebounding!
542
00:28:05.476 --> 00:28:09.063
And then they had the nerve
to just play zone defense
for a bunch of possessions.
543
00:28:09.063 --> 00:28:11.190
Good morning, festive friends!
544
00:28:11.190 --> 00:28:13.401
Steve?
What are you doing here?
545
00:28:13.401 --> 00:28:15.986
Wait, are you one of those kids
that wants to pull on
Santa's beard?
546
00:28:15.986 --> 00:28:18.239
Collect the hair to make
a pillow that hears
your wishes?
547
00:28:18.239 --> 00:28:20.324
I've heard about creepy
Santa super fans like you.
548
00:28:20.324 --> 00:28:22.076
I'm not a super fan!
549
00:28:22.076 --> 00:28:23.744
I'm here
in an official capacity.
550
00:28:23.744 --> 00:28:26.580 line:5%
You're not
one of Santa's helpers.
551
00:28:26.580 --> 00:28:30.000
Well, technically speaking,
I'm one of Santa's disrupters!
552
00:28:30.000 --> 00:28:32.211
It's a different department
than helper!
553
00:28:32.211 --> 00:28:36.340
I'm here to make sure
the holidays are operating
at peak performance,
554
00:28:36.340 --> 00:28:40.678
and that means making sure
everyone has a great holiday,
even you, big guy.
555
00:28:40.678 --> 00:28:44.515
I was thinking since people
aren't coming to the mall
as much,
556
00:28:44.515 --> 00:28:47.643
how could we get more people
to see DSS?
557
00:28:47.643 --> 00:28:48.811
Start a podcast?
558
00:28:48.811 --> 00:28:51.480
Last night, inspiration struck.
559
00:28:51.480 --> 00:28:53.607
Kids still need to see Santa,
560
00:28:53.607 --> 00:28:56.485
so I built something to help
spread a little of that
mall-iday cheer.
561
00:28:56.485 --> 00:28:59.989
I made you an app
that lets kids call you
whenever they want.
562
00:28:59.989 --> 00:29:02.783
You built an app overnight?
563
00:29:02.783 --> 00:29:04.201
And you're still this chipper?
564
00:29:04.201 --> 00:29:06.537
Hmm. That's a pretty
great idea, Steve.
565
00:29:06.537 --> 00:29:08.414
So the kids and I
can connect virtually?
566
00:29:08.414 --> 00:29:11.000
Even better.
Let me see your phone.
567
00:29:11.000 --> 00:29:12.334
Don't go through my photos.
568
00:29:12.334 --> 00:29:14.545
Just... bringing it online.
569
00:29:30.936 --> 00:29:32.271
- What the--
- That's right.
570
00:29:32.271 --> 00:29:34.565
Why just talk to Santa
on your phone
571
00:29:34.565 --> 00:29:38.152
when you can have him
delivered to your door
with the press of a button.
572
00:29:38.152 --> 00:29:43.574
You failed to mention the part
where you also built engine
powered reindeer.
573
00:29:43.574 --> 00:29:47.077
Oh, no no no no no!
I do not like this idea!
574
00:30:02.760 --> 00:30:04.261
What the Monterey Jack!
575
00:30:10.768 --> 00:30:13.395
Steve! Stop this thing!
Take us back to the mall!
576
00:30:13.395 --> 00:30:16.941
But you don't want
to disappoint the kid
who just requested you!
577
00:30:16.941 --> 00:30:20.110
Fine! Fine! But at least
slow this thing down!
578
00:30:20.110 --> 00:30:21.195
On it.
579
00:30:23.364 --> 00:30:24.406
Whoopsie!
580
00:30:25.783 --> 00:30:26.951
Whoa, whoa.
581
00:30:30.746 --> 00:30:33.415
Oh, my gosh! Oh! Oh, my heart!
582
00:30:34.208 --> 00:30:35.417
Santa?
583
00:30:37.920 --> 00:30:40.798
Ho-ho-ho! Hey there. Uh...
584
00:30:40.798 --> 00:30:41.924
Scottie.
585
00:30:41.924 --> 00:30:43.926
Hold up, Steve. Are you an elf?
586
00:30:43.926 --> 00:30:46.637
Did you go through the
six week training program?
587
00:30:46.637 --> 00:30:48.722
Oh. My mistake.
588
00:30:48.722 --> 00:30:49.974
Scottie Harper.
589
00:30:49.974 --> 00:30:51.850
Hello, Scottie.
Why don't you
590
00:30:51.850 --> 00:30:53.644
hop on Santa's lap
and we can discuss--
591
00:30:53.644 --> 00:30:55.813
- Uh-oh.
- What is "Uh-oh," Steve?
592
00:31:03.988 --> 00:31:05.531
How're you do--
593
00:31:05.531 --> 00:31:08.117
When I was burning
the midnight oil...
594
00:31:08.117 --> 00:31:10.953
I may have
forgotten to...
595
00:31:10.953 --> 00:31:13.539
create a subroutine...
596
00:31:13.539 --> 00:31:16.292
to manage the requests...
597
00:31:16.292 --> 00:31:19.461
So, every kid who's
requesting Santa right now
598
00:31:19.461 --> 00:31:22.298
is going
to get Santa right now?
599
00:31:29.763 --> 00:31:30.931
Steve!
600
00:31:30.931 --> 00:31:33.017
Ho-ho-ho...
601
00:31:38.105 --> 00:31:39.440
Oh, relax, big guy.
602
00:31:40.983 --> 00:31:42.735
It's just a little hiccup.
603
00:31:45.154 --> 00:31:48.866
A hiccup? Steve,
shut it down! Shut it down!
604
00:31:48.866 --> 00:31:50.868
Take us back
to the mall right now!
605
00:31:50.868 --> 00:31:52.703
- Right now!
606
00:31:55.998 --> 00:32:00.336
Steve, you might wanna
hold on to something!
607
00:32:00.336 --> 00:32:01.712
Huh?
608
00:32:10.471 --> 00:32:13.891
Nope. No critters
on my bus.
609
00:32:23.400 --> 00:32:25.361
Whoa, Nelly!
610
00:32:25.361 --> 00:32:26.654
Wait a minute.
611
00:32:26.654 --> 00:32:28.322
Where's
Department Store Santa?
612
00:32:28.322 --> 00:32:30.366
Steve!
613
00:32:36.955 --> 00:32:38.499
Did I do that?
614
00:32:41.251 --> 00:32:43.879
What is wrong with you?
615
00:32:43.879 --> 00:32:47.091
I just wanted everyone
to have an amazing holiday.
616
00:32:47.091 --> 00:32:50.886
And you figured you'd do that
by blowing up my sleigh
and destroying my pants?
617
00:32:50.886 --> 00:32:53.347
I have no pants.
I have no pants!
618
00:32:53.347 --> 00:32:56.225
- But you do have
very classy underpants.
619
00:32:56.225 --> 00:32:58.769
These are bugs
that can be easily fixed.
620
00:32:58.769 --> 00:33:00.854
As Dudley Von Durffel
likes to say--
621
00:33:00.854 --> 00:33:03.232
Dudley Von Durffel
didn't do this, Steve.
622
00:33:03.232 --> 00:33:05.025
You did.
623
00:33:05.025 --> 00:33:07.403
There's a city full of kids
who didn't get to see Santa,
624
00:33:07.403 --> 00:33:10.030
but did see
a bunch of reindeer explode!
625
00:33:10.030 --> 00:33:13.200
And to top it off,
you destroyed Pretzelegance.
626
00:33:14.535 --> 00:33:17.246
Please, DSS,
this was a beta test.
627
00:33:19.415 --> 00:33:22.584
I can iron out these
wrinkles, get you back up
and running in no time.
628
00:33:22.584 --> 00:33:24.420
We're all Team Santa here.
629
00:33:24.420 --> 00:33:26.130
No, Steve.
630
00:33:26.130 --> 00:33:28.549
This is what
I've been trying to tell you.
631
00:33:28.549 --> 00:33:32.302
You're not
one of Santa's helpers. I am.
632
00:33:32.302 --> 00:33:35.305
I mean, I was until
you destroyed Santa's Village.
633
00:33:35.305 --> 00:33:37.725
"Destroyed" seems
like a bit of an exaggeration.
634
00:33:39.226 --> 00:33:41.228
Well, uh...
635
00:33:41.228 --> 00:33:42.771
"Destroyed" makes sense.
636
00:33:42.771 --> 00:33:45.190
Do you wanna know
why I was working here?
637
00:33:45.190 --> 00:33:49.319
I wanted to surprise my dad
this year and get him
some ESL classes.
638
00:33:49.319 --> 00:33:52.614
He's from Ecuador
and he always worries
his English isn't good enough.
639
00:33:52.614 --> 00:33:55.075
So, I thought
it would be a great gift.
640
00:33:55.075 --> 00:33:56.869
That is really thoughtful.
641
00:33:56.869 --> 00:33:59.079
But thanks to you, now I can't.
642
00:33:59.079 --> 00:34:01.623
Robin, I didn't mean
to destroy anything.
643
00:34:01.623 --> 00:34:04.710
I just wanted
to help make the holidays
the best they can be.
644
00:34:04.710 --> 00:34:06.712
You-- You wanna help?
Don't help.
645
00:34:06.712 --> 00:34:09.506
Stay away, very far away.
646
00:34:09.506 --> 00:34:11.508
You've ruined everything.
647
00:34:11.508 --> 00:34:13.635
If I were you,
I wouldn't even count
on any horsey cheese.
648
00:34:13.635 --> 00:34:15.429
Uh, donkey cheese.
649
00:34:19.266 --> 00:34:20.934
Huh? Mm? Mm.
650
00:34:32.321 --> 00:34:34.823 line:5%
From mall-iday to malady,
651
00:34:34.823 --> 00:34:37.826 line:5%
Christmas is under attack!
652
00:34:42.664 --> 00:34:47.878
Did I do that?
653
00:34:47.878 --> 00:34:50.672
Did I do that?
654
00:34:50.672 --> 00:34:54.301 line:5%
Oh, ho, ho,
he did do that, America.
655
00:34:54.301 --> 00:34:58.514 line:5%
That bespectacled bully
made a fool of Santa Claus.
656
00:34:58.514 --> 00:35:01.683 line:5%
And since
now I'm showing it to you
on national television,
657
00:35:01.683 --> 00:35:06.730 line:5%
he made a fool of Santa Claus
on national television.
658
00:35:06.730 --> 00:35:09.691
Steve, how can you
watch that lady?
659
00:35:09.691 --> 00:35:14.279
Every week,
she's finding a new thing
that is "destroying America."
660
00:35:14.279 --> 00:35:19.284
Last week it was empanadas,
and empanadas are amazing!
661
00:35:19.284 --> 00:35:22.913
My only regret, it took me
so long to learn that.
662
00:35:22.913 --> 00:35:24.623
Urkelbot likes her show.
663
00:35:24.623 --> 00:35:27.251
Probably a good thing
Urkelbot can't talk.
664
00:35:27.251 --> 00:35:28.544
Or vote.
665
00:35:30.963 --> 00:35:34.967
We just wanted to make sure
you were feeling okay
after you blew up the mall.
666
00:35:34.967 --> 00:35:37.261
He didn't blow up the mall.
667
00:35:37.261 --> 00:35:40.264
Sorry. Just a bunch
of reindeer and Pretzelegance.
668
00:35:40.264 --> 00:35:41.640
which, good riddance.
669
00:35:41.640 --> 00:35:45.185
Ow! Hey, I'm old.
670
00:35:45.185 --> 00:35:48.397
Mr. Kalan's right.
I messed up the mall-idays.
671
00:35:48.397 --> 00:35:50.566
DSS and Robin are mad at me.
672
00:35:50.566 --> 00:35:53.652
But it's not just that.
I mess up everything.
673
00:35:53.652 --> 00:35:56.446
I ruined Jordan's
basketball game
with his friends,
674
00:35:56.446 --> 00:35:58.657
I woke the neighborhood up
super early.
675
00:35:58.657 --> 00:36:01.994
Steve, you're being
too hard on yourself.
676
00:36:01.994 --> 00:36:04.288
Look, you might be a little...
677
00:36:04.288 --> 00:36:06.290
- Awkward?
- Goofy?
678
00:36:06.290 --> 00:36:08.250
A bumbling,
butter-fingered klutz?
679
00:36:08.250 --> 00:36:10.586
I was gonna say, eager.
680
00:36:10.586 --> 00:36:13.881
But we all know
your heart is in
the right place.
681
00:36:13.881 --> 00:36:17.426 line:5%
Dudley Von Durffel said
I should disrupt people's lives
for the better.
682
00:36:17.426 --> 00:36:20.262 line:5%
But when I tried,
I made everything worse.
683
00:36:20.262 --> 00:36:24.099 line:5%
So, I was thinking,
maybe I was disrupting
the wrong thing.
684
00:36:24.099 --> 00:36:28.270 line:5%
Maybe what I need to disrupt
this holiday season is myself.
685
00:36:28.270 --> 00:36:30.856
Don't tell me,
you've built a contraption
that's going to turn you
686
00:36:30.856 --> 00:36:34.443
into some sort
of smooth-talking cool guy.
687
00:36:34.443 --> 00:36:35.903
Not at all.
688
00:36:35.903 --> 00:36:38.447
Being cool has
never been my problem.
689
00:36:38.447 --> 00:36:39.531
Whoa!
690
00:36:41.617 --> 00:36:44.244
Behold, my newest invention.
691
00:36:44.244 --> 00:36:46.955
I call it a nice ticker.
692
00:36:46.955 --> 00:36:48.457
It's an okay ticker.
693
00:36:48.457 --> 00:36:50.292
No, it's called a nice ticker.
694
00:36:50.292 --> 00:36:52.628
It will help me make sure
the holidays are great
695
00:36:52.628 --> 00:36:54.796
by keeping me
from screwing them up.
696
00:36:54.796 --> 00:36:58.091
Every year, I go over
to Mr. Kalan's to help him
light his menorah.
697
00:36:58.091 --> 00:37:00.594
- And my drapes.
- Exactly.
698
00:37:00.594 --> 00:37:04.473
So, the watch told me that,
this year, I should send
Urkelbot in my place.
699
00:37:04.473 --> 00:37:06.850
You want me
to celebrate Hanukkah
with your robot?
700
00:37:06.850 --> 00:37:10.687
His latkes are delicious.
He makes them with
ricotta cheese.
701
00:37:10.687 --> 00:37:14.483
That sounds
like something from
one of those fancy food shows.
702
00:37:14.483 --> 00:37:18.111
- See, Mr. K's holiday
just got a little better.
703
00:37:18.111 --> 00:37:20.739
The more things I do right,
the more points I'll get
704
00:37:20.739 --> 00:37:22.491
while making sure
we stay on track for
705
00:37:22.491 --> 00:37:25.327
a wonderful holiday
that Santa will love!
706
00:37:25.327 --> 00:37:27.204
Oh, Steve.
707
00:37:27.204 --> 00:37:29.998
If you weren't covered
in grease, I'd hug you.
708
00:37:29.998 --> 00:37:33.251
- No, thank you, robot.
709
00:37:33.251 --> 00:37:37.547
Steve, honey,
the holidays are great
because you're a part of them.
710
00:37:37.547 --> 00:37:40.759
Yeah, Steve.
Isn't today Jay-Z's birthday?
711
00:37:40.759 --> 00:37:43.053
Why don't we all
go Jay-Z caroling?
712
00:37:43.053 --> 00:37:45.722
That would be a wonderful thing
we can all do together.
713
00:37:45.722 --> 00:37:48.684
- Hmm. The watch
says I shouldn't.
714
00:37:48.684 --> 00:37:53.105
But, Steve, you love
singing loudly on the street.
715
00:37:53.105 --> 00:37:55.148
You can sing the curse words.
716
00:37:55.148 --> 00:37:56.900
Let's be honest.
717
00:37:56.900 --> 00:37:59.611
I bet I'd get really excited
singing "Hard Knock Life,"
718
00:37:59.611 --> 00:38:02.030
and accidentally step
on Mrs. Kochiyama's foot,
719
00:38:02.030 --> 00:38:04.032
which would then
make her jump in pain.
720
00:38:04.032 --> 00:38:06.326
She'd slip on
an icy patch of sidewalk
721
00:38:06.326 --> 00:38:09.287
and go tumbling into Mr. Kalan,
causing him to break his hip.
722
00:38:09.287 --> 00:38:12.749
That does sound like
something you could do,
723
00:38:12.749 --> 00:38:14.668
and something that
my hip could do.
724
00:38:14.668 --> 00:38:16.420
Yep, it all tracks for me.
725
00:38:16.420 --> 00:38:18.672
And then, he'd have
to spend Hanukkah
in the hospital.
726
00:38:18.672 --> 00:38:20.424
So, I'd ruin another holiday.
727
00:38:20.424 --> 00:38:23.593
- See, I'm
already scoring points.
728
00:38:23.593 --> 00:38:25.178
Oh, this is great.
729
00:38:25.178 --> 00:38:27.097
You all go. Have fun.
730
00:38:27.097 --> 00:38:30.350
Okay, but it won't be
the same without you.
731
00:38:30.350 --> 00:38:34.354
- According to my data,
it will be 47% better.
732
00:38:34.354 --> 00:38:38.358
Robot, if I fall asleep,
that's not permission for you
733
00:38:38.358 --> 00:38:41.820
to turn my microwave against me
for your robot uprising!
734
00:38:41.820 --> 00:38:43.864
I know what goes on
among youse.
735
00:38:43.864 --> 00:38:46.450
I read books. I got Wi-Fi.
736
00:38:49.411 --> 00:38:50.412
Hey, Urkel, come here.
737
00:38:50.412 --> 00:38:51.913
We could use another player.
738
00:38:51.913 --> 00:38:54.666
This snowman really
isn't playing much D.
739
00:38:54.666 --> 00:38:56.543
- Hmm.
740
00:38:56.543 --> 00:39:00.380
The last time I was here,
I got everybody
soaked with rain.
741
00:39:00.380 --> 00:39:02.966
I should probably
sit this one out. Thanks.
742
00:39:07.888 --> 00:39:11.391
Okay, holiday boy,
we've gone a mile and a half,
743
00:39:11.391 --> 00:39:14.603
and you haven't
sung a single thing.
744
00:39:14.603 --> 00:39:16.855
- What's up, huh?
- You don't like singing.
745
00:39:16.855 --> 00:39:19.775
And I don't
wanna ruin your day.
So, no singing for me.
746
00:39:21.860 --> 00:39:24.654
So, you're just
gonna sit there all quiet,
747
00:39:24.654 --> 00:39:28.366
even as the wheels on the bus
go round and round?
748
00:39:28.366 --> 00:39:31.953
- Round and round,
round and round?
749
00:39:33.663 --> 00:39:36.083
Have a nice evening,
Sheryl, the bus driver.
750
00:39:36.083 --> 00:39:38.960
You, too, holiday boy.
751
00:39:38.960 --> 00:39:42.214
♪ The wipers on the bus
go swish, swish, swish... ♪
752
00:39:42.214 --> 00:39:45.300
- It was cute when
he does it, Jerry, not you!
753
00:39:52.057 --> 00:39:55.185
Hey, Steve.
What are you doing here?
754
00:39:55.185 --> 00:39:58.980 line:5%
I wanted to say sorry
I messed up everything
at Santa's Village.
755
00:39:58.980 --> 00:40:02.192
Thanks. I appreciate that
you came here to apologize.
756
00:40:02.192 --> 00:40:05.195
I know I'm not one
of Santa's official helpers.
757
00:40:05.195 --> 00:40:08.949
But I made you something
that I hope will make
your holiday a little better.
758
00:40:08.949 --> 00:40:13.286
Steve Urkel Industries
proudly presents
my latest invention,
759
00:40:13.286 --> 00:40:15.122
The ESL-met.
760
00:40:15.122 --> 00:40:17.165
It takes
anything you say or hear
761
00:40:17.165 --> 00:40:20.127
and translates it
automatically into
the language of your choice.
762
00:40:27.425 --> 00:40:31.263
If my dad ever needs
to slay a talking dragon
763
00:40:31.263 --> 00:40:32.889
or sing a rap hook,
I'll hit you up.
764
00:40:32.889 --> 00:40:35.308
But I don't think he's much
of a helmet-to-work guy.
765
00:40:44.359 --> 00:40:45.944
That's cool, Steve,
766
00:40:45.944 --> 00:40:50.615
but I wanted to get my dad
ESL classes myself.
767
00:40:50.615 --> 00:40:53.702
Sometimes, he helps me
with my school work.
768
00:40:53.702 --> 00:40:58.331
He'll make up
silly songs to help me
remember math equations.
769
00:40:58.331 --> 00:41:03.003
It's corny, but I like getting
to spend that time with him.
770
00:41:03.003 --> 00:41:04.838
I don't know.
I guess I just figured
771
00:41:04.838 --> 00:41:06.840
it'd be fun
to do the same for him.
772
00:41:06.840 --> 00:41:09.593
Trust me.
I've crunched the numbers
and run simulations.
773
00:41:09.593 --> 00:41:11.511
Your dad is going to love this.
774
00:41:11.511 --> 00:41:13.680
He's going to have
the best Christmas ever,
775
00:41:13.680 --> 00:41:15.724
and you're going to have
a great holiday because of it.
776
00:41:15.724 --> 00:41:17.017
- See?
777
00:41:17.017 --> 00:41:18.935
Is that a step counter?
778
00:41:18.935 --> 00:41:20.395
No.
779
00:41:20.395 --> 00:41:21.897
It's my newest invention
to help me make sure
780
00:41:21.897 --> 00:41:24.024
everyone has
the best holiday ever.
781
00:41:24.024 --> 00:41:27.194
It's keeping score
of everything I do to hack
this holiday season.
782
00:41:27.194 --> 00:41:28.862
Who are you keeping score for?
783
00:41:28.862 --> 00:41:31.114
Santa.
784
00:41:31.114 --> 00:41:34.284
He's only going to come
if everything and everyone
is perfect. Even me.
785
00:41:34.284 --> 00:41:36.536
You'll see,
my science is sound.
786
00:41:36.536 --> 00:41:38.413
Look, your wreath is crooked.
787
00:41:38.413 --> 00:41:39.915
Hm. Looks fine to me.
788
00:41:39.915 --> 00:41:41.917
Nope. It's off
by three degrees.
789
00:41:41.917 --> 00:41:43.710
Now, that might seem small.
790
00:41:43.710 --> 00:41:46.087
But it could be the difference
between someone walking by
791
00:41:46.087 --> 00:41:48.256
and feeling joy to the world,
792
00:41:48.256 --> 00:41:51.801
or simply mild satisfaction
with the globe.
793
00:41:51.801 --> 00:41:56.264
Joy, mild satisfaction.
794
00:41:57.390 --> 00:41:59.976
Joy, mild satisfaction.
795
00:42:01.645 --> 00:42:04.773
Point, no point.
796
00:42:04.773 --> 00:42:07.150
Point, point, point, point.
797
00:42:07.150 --> 00:42:11.321
♪ You make a good point
Point, point, point, point ♪
798
00:42:11.321 --> 00:42:17.160
♪ Point, point, point
Point, point ♪
799
00:42:17.160 --> 00:42:20.747
♪ Point, point, point ♪
800
00:42:20.747 --> 00:42:23.541
♪ Everywhere I go
I'm trying to be nice ♪
801
00:42:23.541 --> 00:42:26.795
♪ Help a bunch of people
So I can rise up ♪
802
00:42:26.795 --> 00:42:29.506
♪ Santa's leaderboard
Doing all these good deeds ♪
803
00:42:29.506 --> 00:42:33.343
♪ And prove to everybody
I'm the help he needs, ooh ♪
804
00:42:33.343 --> 00:42:42.644
♪ Point, point, point
Point, point ♪
805
00:42:42.644 --> 00:42:45.146
♪ Point, point, point ♪
806
00:42:45.146 --> 00:42:48.400
♪ Those inflatable decorations
look okay ♪
807
00:42:48.400 --> 00:42:50.026 line:5%
♪ They'd look better ♪
808
00:42:50.026 --> 00:42:52.070 line:5%
♪ With an Urkel
patent-pending light display ♪
809
00:42:52.070 --> 00:42:53.822
♪ Who wants to go caroling ♪
810
00:42:53.822 --> 00:42:55.115
♪ With all this snow
under their feet? ♪
811
00:42:55.115 --> 00:42:56.825
♪ Score some points to build ♪
812
00:42:56.825 --> 00:42:58.535
♪ Something to shovel
the street, ooh ♪
813
00:42:58.535 --> 00:43:07.961
♪ Point, point, point
Point, point ♪
814
00:43:07.961 --> 00:43:10.505
♪ Point, point, point ♪
815
00:43:10.505 --> 00:43:13.883
♪ I'm showing everybody
That I got what it takes ♪
816
00:43:13.883 --> 00:43:17.012
♪ To spread the holiday spirit
Without making mistakes ♪
817
00:43:17.012 --> 00:43:19.848
♪ Santa's gonna be impressed
When he sees what I've done ♪
818
00:43:19.848 --> 00:43:21.599
♪ This city's full
of nice points ♪
819
00:43:21.599 --> 00:43:23.893
♪ And I've just begun, ooh ♪
820
00:43:29.691 --> 00:43:33.236
♪ Spreading holiday cheer
ain't some game you can win ♪
821
00:43:33.236 --> 00:43:36.489
♪ It's a feeling
that comes from within ♪
822
00:43:36.489 --> 00:43:39.117
♪ Sure, you can fix a wreath
Or decorate some trees ♪
823
00:43:39.117 --> 00:43:42.329
♪ But I think you might have
misplaced your priorities ♪
824
00:43:44.080 --> 00:43:45.957
♪ Gifts are great
When they mean something more ♪
825
00:43:45.957 --> 00:43:48.501
♪ Than an empty attempt
just to raise your score ♪
826
00:43:48.501 --> 00:43:50.170
♪ If you cared
about my feelings ♪
827
00:43:50.170 --> 00:43:51.796
♪ Then you should've come too ♪
828
00:43:51.796 --> 00:43:53.340
♪ Not some dumb watch
telling you ♪
829
00:43:53.340 --> 00:43:55.008
♪ What it thinks
you should do ♪
830
00:43:55.008 --> 00:43:56.384
♪ Oh, points ♪
831
00:43:56.384 --> 00:43:58.553
♪ Point, point
Point, point ♪
832
00:43:58.553 --> 00:44:04.851
♪ Point, point, point
Point, point ♪
833
00:44:04.851 --> 00:44:07.937
♪ Point, point, point ♪
834
00:44:07.937 --> 00:44:11.232
♪ Point, point, point
Point, point ♪
835
00:44:11.232 --> 00:44:14.444
- ♪ Point, point, point ♪
- ♪ You make a point? ♪
836
00:44:14.444 --> 00:44:17.364
♪ Point, point, point
Point, point ♪
837
00:44:17.364 --> 00:44:19.616
♪ Point, point, point ♪
838
00:44:19.616 --> 00:44:23.661
♪ You're missing the point
Point, point, point, point ♪
839
00:44:23.661 --> 00:44:30.043
♪ Point, point, point
Point, point ♪
840
00:44:30.043 --> 00:44:32.420
Steve, you're
missing the point.
841
00:44:34.547 --> 00:44:36.257
Happy mall-idays.
842
00:44:36.257 --> 00:44:38.676
I hope you have a wonderful
shopping experience.
843
00:44:38.676 --> 00:44:40.345
Where's that holiday smile?
844
00:44:42.013 --> 00:44:44.682
Hey, Mrs. P.
Doing some malI-iday shopping?
845
00:44:44.682 --> 00:44:47.936
Yep. Got all my presents
for my sister's family.
846
00:44:47.936 --> 00:44:51.314
Can I count on you to help me
gift-wrap everything this year?
847
00:44:51.314 --> 00:44:54.526
I'll make eggnog cookies
and we can watch a scary movie.
848
00:44:54.526 --> 00:44:58.279
- My nice ticker reminded me
that I'm bad at wrapping gifts.
849
00:44:58.279 --> 00:45:00.990
Every year, I mess it up
and you have to
rewrap everything
850
00:45:00.990 --> 00:45:03.993
while I eat all the cookies
and fall asleep on your sofa.
851
00:45:03.993 --> 00:45:05.328
I don't mind.
852
00:45:05.328 --> 00:45:07.330
It's nice having your company.
853
00:45:07.330 --> 00:45:10.166
Thanks. But if you want
to have a wonderful holiday,
854
00:45:10.166 --> 00:45:12.252
you need someone or something
855
00:45:12.252 --> 00:45:15.380
that can help you wrap up
those gifts, lickety-split.
856
00:45:15.380 --> 00:45:17.465
That's why I built you this.
857
00:45:17.465 --> 00:45:20.635
It's a giftwrapping
machine that I call
The Hardcore Wrapper.
858
00:45:20.635 --> 00:45:24.973
It can make paper, mix tape
and get jingly with it, baby.
859
00:45:24.973 --> 00:45:26.766
There's not a box
it can't beat.
860
00:45:27.934 --> 00:45:29.018
Ooh.
861
00:45:30.228 --> 00:45:31.479
What is it?
862
00:45:31.479 --> 00:45:33.690
It's a coffee mug warmer
for my niece.
863
00:45:33.690 --> 00:45:36.276
I found it at
that fancy tech store.
864
00:45:36.276 --> 00:45:38.945
You put a cup on it
and it stays warm.
865
00:45:38.945 --> 00:45:40.572
How old is your niece?
866
00:45:40.572 --> 00:45:43.324
She's nine.
Do you think she'll like it?
867
00:45:45.660 --> 00:45:48.663
Sure. Why don't we
get our wrap on?
868
00:45:52.500 --> 00:45:55.128
- Oh, wow, that's wonderful.
869
00:45:55.128 --> 00:45:56.921
Feel free to wrap away.
870
00:45:56.921 --> 00:45:59.299
I need to head inside
and check on DSS.
871
00:46:00.758 --> 00:46:03.887
Look at me.
I'm a hardcore wrapper.
872
00:46:03.887 --> 00:46:05.722
Oh, you don't want
none of this, honey.
873
00:46:05.722 --> 00:46:08.892
I spit bars,
fire, fire bars.
874
00:46:12.770 --> 00:46:14.063
Well, well, well,
875
00:46:14.063 --> 00:46:16.483
if it isn't Mr. Donkey Cheese.
876
00:46:16.483 --> 00:46:18.067
- Robin!
877
00:46:18.067 --> 00:46:19.903
Hey, DSS,
878
00:46:19.903 --> 00:46:22.906
I just wanted to apologize
for screwing things up.
879
00:46:22.906 --> 00:46:24.115
I'm sorry.
880
00:46:24.115 --> 00:46:25.617
Thanks, Steve.
881
00:46:25.617 --> 00:46:28.828
I'll be honest.
I was mad at you.
882
00:46:28.828 --> 00:46:32.457
But for you to come here now
and apologize to me,
883
00:46:32.457 --> 00:46:34.375
face-to-face...
884
00:46:34.375 --> 00:46:36.169
- Aw, geez...
885
00:46:36.169 --> 00:46:38.338
I said, geez!
886
00:46:38.338 --> 00:46:40.798
What?
It was a touching moment.
887
00:46:40.798 --> 00:46:42.926
To show you how sorry I am,
888
00:46:42.926 --> 00:46:44.594
I wanted to give you something.
889
00:46:44.594 --> 00:46:47.138
That's very nice.
But my doctor said
890
00:46:47.138 --> 00:46:49.474
my heart can't take
any more gifts from you.
891
00:46:49.474 --> 00:46:51.518
Oh, but you're
already wearing it.
892
00:46:51.518 --> 00:46:53.311
I fixed your Santa suit.
893
00:46:53.311 --> 00:46:56.231
You did this?
Thought this was from the mall.
894
00:46:56.231 --> 00:46:57.732
The fit is nice.
895
00:46:57.732 --> 00:46:59.609
Look at your boy,
all swagged out.
896
00:46:59.609 --> 00:47:02.403
You got Santa
looking like a hype piece.
897
00:47:02.403 --> 00:47:05.615
Wait. It's not gonna do
something weird, is it?
898
00:47:05.615 --> 00:47:08.409
Nope. No tech.
Just sewed it up with
899
00:47:08.409 --> 00:47:10.036
- a needle and some thread.
900
00:47:10.036 --> 00:47:13.498
Thanks, Steve.
We're all gravy, and cheese.
901
00:47:16.376 --> 00:47:18.920
Nothing? You're not gonna
take a photo of this 'fit?
902
00:47:18.920 --> 00:47:20.129
I look good.
903
00:47:20.129 --> 00:47:22.090
Between you and me, DSS,
904
00:47:22.090 --> 00:47:24.342
your suit wasn't in
the best shape to begin with.
905
00:47:24.342 --> 00:47:26.970
So, I reinforced everything
with some synthetic fabric
906
00:47:26.970 --> 00:47:29.722
to make sure
it stayed both soft and sturdy.
907
00:47:29.722 --> 00:47:32.433
Synthetic fabric?
Like polyester?
908
00:47:32.433 --> 00:47:34.769
Wow, Steve, I was wrong.
909
00:47:34.769 --> 00:47:36.396
You really are
winning the holidays.
910
00:47:36.396 --> 00:47:38.356
And it's only gonna get better.
911
00:47:38.356 --> 00:47:40.608
This year, we're gonna
knock Santa's socks off.
912
00:47:40.608 --> 00:47:43.570
I'm allergic
to synthetic fabrics.
913
00:47:43.570 --> 00:47:44.779
Or his pants.
914
00:47:44.779 --> 00:47:47.115
It's like
super-soft poison ivy!
915
00:47:47.115 --> 00:47:49.617
It's nice and painful.
916
00:47:49.617 --> 00:47:51.744
Aah! When I scratch,
it makes my fingers itchy.
917
00:47:51.744 --> 00:47:52.787
Steve!
918
00:47:55.873 --> 00:47:58.084
Oh, no. I'm
making things worse.
919
00:47:58.084 --> 00:47:59.419
Hold on. Hold on.
920
00:47:59.419 --> 00:48:01.629
I know what to do.
I can fix this.
921
00:48:01.629 --> 00:48:04.632
No!
Don't fix anything!
922
00:48:04.632 --> 00:48:06.217
But... But...
923
00:48:06.217 --> 00:48:09.637
What we need is
someone to disrupt you, Steve.
924
00:48:09.637 --> 00:48:12.265
- Wait a menorah.
925
00:48:13.224 --> 00:48:14.475
I know just the guy.
926
00:48:17.812 --> 00:48:19.772
This guy says
my hair looks fake?
927
00:48:19.772 --> 00:48:21.858
What? [hesitates] No.
928
00:48:21.858 --> 00:48:23.359
Hi-ho, Dudley.
929
00:48:24.694 --> 00:48:27.113
Who are you?
How'd you get here?
930
00:48:27.113 --> 00:48:31.159
Are you one of those ghosts
here to show me my Christmas
past, present, or future?
931
00:48:31.159 --> 00:48:33.494
No, it's me, Steve Urkel.
932
00:48:33.494 --> 00:48:36.247
We met the other day,
fellow disruptor.
933
00:48:36.247 --> 00:48:38.708
- Who?
-@steveurkel.
934
00:48:38.708 --> 00:48:42.295
@steveurkel, IRL?
935
00:48:42.295 --> 00:48:44.797
Uh, okay.
Uh, what can I do for you?
936
00:48:44.797 --> 00:48:47.508
I took your advice and
tried to disrupt the holidays
937
00:48:47.508 --> 00:48:49.469
and make everything
perfect for Santa.
938
00:48:49.469 --> 00:48:51.929
I built this nice ticker
that pushes me to find ways
939
00:48:51.929 --> 00:48:54.307
to make sure everyone
had a great holiday.
940
00:48:54.307 --> 00:48:56.309
But I kept
screwing everything up.
941
00:48:56.309 --> 00:48:59.646
Hmm. You've gamified
being in the holiday spirit?
942
00:48:59.646 --> 00:49:03.733
That's fire... emoji.
943
00:49:03.733 --> 00:49:06.402
I don't think the problem
is you, @steveurkel.
944
00:49:06.402 --> 00:49:08.237
It's not?
945
00:49:08.237 --> 00:49:10.907
You turned the holidays
into an amazing game.
946
00:49:10.907 --> 00:49:12.700
But a game is only good
947
00:49:12.700 --> 00:49:15.953
if you can get other people
to play it, too, okay?
948
00:49:15.953 --> 00:49:17.747
What if we
scaled this up a bit?
949
00:49:17.747 --> 00:49:20.124
And got everyone
playing for the holidays?
950
00:49:20.124 --> 00:49:21.668
Exactly.
951
00:49:21.668 --> 00:49:23.378
Maybe we lose the watch
and turn it into an app.
952
00:49:23.378 --> 00:49:25.171
A really nice app?
953
00:49:25.171 --> 00:49:28.508
Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
But how about
a Von Durffel app?
954
00:49:28.508 --> 00:49:30.593
Ooh. That's wonderful.
955
00:49:30.593 --> 00:49:33.221
No, kid, it's Von Durffel.
956
00:49:33.221 --> 00:49:35.682
VDI, get the dev team
on this, stat.
957
00:49:35.682 --> 00:49:38.059
- I want this live in 24 hours.
958
00:49:38.059 --> 00:49:39.769
Can you get it ready
in 24 hours?
959
00:49:39.769 --> 00:49:41.604
You're right.
Let's do it in six.
960
00:49:41.604 --> 00:49:43.815
Congratulations, kid.
961
00:49:43.815 --> 00:49:45.692
You're about
to disrupt the world.
962
00:49:48.903 --> 00:49:50.321
You have a question?
963
00:49:50.321 --> 00:49:51.989
No, I was...
I was trying to high-five you.
964
00:49:51.989 --> 00:49:54.534
Oh. It looked like
you had a question.
965
00:49:54.534 --> 00:49:56.369
Maybe angle
your arm down a little more.
966
00:49:56.369 --> 00:50:00.039
Or maybe, I was disrupting
the way we do the high-five.
967
00:50:00.039 --> 00:50:01.749
Very cool.
968
00:50:01.749 --> 00:50:03.626
Thanks.
969
00:50:03.626 --> 00:50:05.878
Now, let's get you
off my boat.
970
00:50:05.878 --> 00:50:09.257
Dudley's app
should be online now.
971
00:50:09.257 --> 00:50:12.844
Oh, wow.
So many people
have already downloaded it.
972
00:50:12.844 --> 00:50:14.262
That's great.
973
00:50:14.262 --> 00:50:16.097
Oh, Santa's gonna
be so proud of me.
974
00:50:16.097 --> 00:50:18.474
Everything's gonna be
so festive that he'll
make sure
975
00:50:18.474 --> 00:50:20.476
this is the best holiday ever.
976
00:50:32.321 --> 00:50:34.615
♪ Steve in the milk
Steve in the milk ♪
977
00:50:34.615 --> 00:50:37.034
♪ We make the cheese
That's soft as silk ♪
978
00:50:37.034 --> 00:50:39.954
♪ Steve in the milk
Steve in the milk ♪
979
00:50:39.954 --> 00:50:42.290
Ooh, that tickles.
980
00:50:42.290 --> 00:50:44.625
♪ Steve in the milk
Steve in the milk ♪
981
00:50:44.625 --> 00:50:46.878
♪ We make the cheese
That's soft as silk ♪
982
00:51:01.642 --> 00:51:02.727
Whee...
983
00:51:05.563 --> 00:51:08.858
Oh, Steve, you're
the nicest kid ever.
984
00:51:08.858 --> 00:51:12.653
You made me so-ho-ho happy!
985
00:51:18.409 --> 00:51:20.828
If you don't like it,
you can get out.
986
00:51:20.828 --> 00:51:24.540
Ujamaa, bless us, everyone.
987
00:51:34.175 --> 00:51:36.219
Just call me Stefan Urquellebot
988
00:51:36.219 --> 00:51:38.721
You saved the holidays, Steve.
989
00:51:38.721 --> 00:51:40.264
Ho-ho-ho, ho!
990
00:51:40.264 --> 00:51:43.100
You're my official
holiday helper.
991
00:51:43.100 --> 00:51:44.894
You hear that, everybody?
992
00:51:44.894 --> 00:51:47.814
- Steve Urkel!
993
00:51:52.151 --> 00:51:54.320
Good morning, Mr. Kalan.
994
00:51:54.320 --> 00:51:55.822
Good morning, Steve.
995
00:51:55.822 --> 00:51:58.032
Just turning
the Kochiyamas' car
996
00:51:58.032 --> 00:52:00.952
into everybody's
favorite Christmas character,
997
00:52:00.952 --> 00:52:02.995
Rudy, the holiday moose.
998
00:52:02.995 --> 00:52:04.997
I think you mean reindeer?
999
00:52:04.997 --> 00:52:08.125
- Their car is a reindeer.
- Moose, reindeer,
what's the difference?
1000
00:52:08.125 --> 00:52:10.002
I mean, they're
different subspecies,
1001
00:52:10.002 --> 00:52:11.963
not to mention,
antler size and shape.
1002
00:52:14.131 --> 00:52:16.342
Yes! Seventeen points!
1003
00:52:16.342 --> 00:52:19.136
- Ooh, chag sameach, Mr. Kalan.
1004
00:52:19.136 --> 00:52:22.557
We've spent all morning
perfecting a matzah ball
soup recipe.
1005
00:52:22.557 --> 00:52:24.225
And some rugelach.
1006
00:52:24.225 --> 00:52:27.144
Let's get in that kitchen
and get you a Hanukkah meal.
1007
00:52:27.144 --> 00:52:29.021
- Yes!
1008
00:52:29.021 --> 00:52:31.440
That's so wonderful.
1009
00:52:31.440 --> 00:52:34.443
Did you see Rudy, the moose?
1010
00:52:34.443 --> 00:52:37.947
It's nice. We don't
really celebrate Christmas.
But thank you.
1011
00:52:39.365 --> 00:52:41.200
I got you, Kochiyamas.
1012
00:52:41.200 --> 00:52:43.828
For the new year,
you celebrate with
a kagami mochi.
1013
00:52:43.828 --> 00:52:46.455
- And I made you
a lawn ornament.
1014
00:52:46.455 --> 00:52:48.249
- Yes!
1015
00:52:48.249 --> 00:52:51.002
Take that, Mr. Kalan.
1016
00:52:51.002 --> 00:52:53.921
Livingstons, you
celebrate Kwanzaa, right?
1017
00:52:53.921 --> 00:52:55.381
Let me help you do that!
1018
00:52:55.381 --> 00:52:58.718
- Happy holiday, Steve.
1019
00:52:58.718 --> 00:53:01.679
I said it first.
Why didn't I get more points?
1020
00:53:01.679 --> 00:53:04.932 line:5%
No, Horace.
I insist your team
have the ball.
1021
00:53:04.932 --> 00:53:07.518 line:5%
- Happy holidays.
1022
00:53:07.518 --> 00:53:10.021 line:5%
- Oh, thank you very much.
1023
00:53:12.106 --> 00:53:14.150 line:5%
Look at that.
It's your ball again.
1024
00:53:14.150 --> 00:53:16.235 line:5%
- I think that counts
as a Christmas gift.
1025
00:53:16.235 --> 00:53:18.321
Hey, Jordan, what's the score?
1026
00:53:18.321 --> 00:53:19.822
Oh, nothing-to-nothing.
1027
00:53:19.822 --> 00:53:22.867
But I've already got
38 Von Durffel points.
1028
00:53:22.867 --> 00:53:24.327
But what about basketball?
1029
00:53:24.327 --> 00:53:26.037
This is better than basketball.
1030
00:53:28.039 --> 00:53:31.792
Oh, look at that.
I accidentally
scored on myself.
1031
00:53:31.792 --> 00:53:35.755
- That's two points for you,
Horace and ten points for me.
1032
00:53:35.755 --> 00:53:38.466
For being so charitable
this holiday season.
1033
00:53:44.305 --> 00:53:47.934
Hey, holiday boy. Need a lift?
1034
00:53:47.934 --> 00:53:50.394
♪ Dashing through the snow ♪
1035
00:53:50.394 --> 00:53:52.021
- I'm good.
1036
00:54:04.325 --> 00:54:06.369
- Happy holidays.
1037
00:54:06.369 --> 00:54:10.665
Merry Christmas, Hanukkah,
Boxing Day, Kwanzaa,
Festivus to you.
1038
00:54:12.291 --> 00:54:14.168
Your smile
just brightened my day
1039
00:54:14.168 --> 00:54:15.920
- this holiday season.
1040
00:54:15.920 --> 00:54:18.339
Your smile is
all the Christmas, Hanukkah,
1041
00:54:18.339 --> 00:54:21.926
Boxing Day, Kwanzaa,
Solstice, Festivus gift I need.
1042
00:54:21.926 --> 00:54:24.512
- A fabulous day to you.
1043
00:54:24.512 --> 00:54:27.473
Would you stop, Gary?
You're messing up my points.
1044
00:54:27.473 --> 00:54:31.185
You're not being very merry
by telling me what to do.
1045
00:54:33.104 --> 00:54:35.982
I don't care what your grades are. You,
young man, deserve a puppy.
1046
00:54:35.982 --> 00:54:39.026
You hear that? This little boy
is getting a puppy,
1047
00:54:39.026 --> 00:54:41.404
even if Santa
has to get you one himself.
1048
00:54:41.404 --> 00:54:44.991
- Isn't that nice
of Santa?
1049
00:54:44.991 --> 00:54:46.909
Yes. A hundred points.
1050
00:54:46.909 --> 00:54:49.036
Okay, come on,
give me another kid.
Give me another kid.
1051
00:54:49.036 --> 00:54:50.746
Whoa-ho-ho.
1052
00:54:50.746 --> 00:54:54.125
- Whatever you want, little girl, Santa's
got you covered. You want world peace?
Santa will figure it out.
1053
00:54:54.125 --> 00:54:55.167
Oh, Steve!
1054
00:54:57.378 --> 00:55:00.589
You want to rip my pants off
again, make me look silly?
1055
00:55:00.589 --> 00:55:04.176
Isn't that
a holly-jolly good time?
1056
00:55:04.176 --> 00:55:06.887
- What's going on?
1057
00:55:06.887 --> 00:55:09.515
I don't know you,
but I got you
this holiday card.
1058
00:55:09.515 --> 00:55:11.934
I got you one first.
Season's greetings!
1059
00:55:13.269 --> 00:55:14.937
I don't believe this.
1060
00:55:14.937 --> 00:55:17.189
These people aren't
spreading holiday cheer.
1061
00:55:17.189 --> 00:55:19.734
They're more focused
on treating it like a game.
1062
00:55:19.734 --> 00:55:21.610
Isn't that what you were doing?
1063
00:55:21.610 --> 00:55:24.196
No. I was just trying to...
1064
00:55:24.196 --> 00:55:28.451
win over Santa
by getting a perfect score.
1065
00:55:29.368 --> 00:55:31.245
Oh, no.
1066
00:55:31.245 --> 00:55:33.539
Did I do this?
1067
00:55:39.628 --> 00:55:41.672
- Hey, kid, let's go caroling.
1068
00:55:41.672 --> 00:55:45.468
Everyone loves caroling,
and it'll give me some points.
1069
00:55:45.468 --> 00:55:47.720
Do you even wanna go caroling?
1070
00:55:47.720 --> 00:55:49.597
No, I just want points.
1071
00:55:50.473 --> 00:55:52.224
Points!
1072
00:55:52.224 --> 00:55:54.852
No! I need those points.
1073
00:55:54.852 --> 00:55:56.187
Let's make a gingerbread house.
1074
00:55:56.187 --> 00:55:57.855
Let's make
ten gingerbread houses.
1075
00:55:57.855 --> 00:55:59.648
Let's make a gingerbread city!
1076
00:55:59.648 --> 00:56:02.151
No, he's going
caroling with me.
1077
00:56:02.151 --> 00:56:04.487
Fun fact. Did you know
the fifth day of Kwanzaa
1078
00:56:04.487 --> 00:56:07.198
is all about points?
1079
00:56:14.830 --> 00:56:16.999
This game is offering
daily cash prizes
1080
00:56:16.999 --> 00:56:18.667
and a million dollars
to the person
1081
00:56:18.667 --> 00:56:21.504
who gets the highest score
of the month!
1082
00:56:21.504 --> 00:56:23.422
What? No.
1083
00:56:23.422 --> 00:56:26.300
Dudley's app is bribing people
to get into the holiday spirit.
1084
00:56:26.300 --> 00:56:27.927
This isn't right.
1085
00:56:27.927 --> 00:56:30.679
Maybe not, but it only
costs a few bucks to play,
1086
00:56:30.679 --> 00:56:33.182
and if I win, I could get paid.
1087
00:56:33.182 --> 00:56:34.600
Robin...
1088
00:56:34.600 --> 00:56:37.812
No...
1089
00:56:42.733 --> 00:56:44.610
Happy holiday, Steve.
1090
00:56:44.610 --> 00:56:46.779
Where's that holiday smile?
1091
00:56:46.779 --> 00:56:49.698
You're one of Santa's
holiday helpers, aren't you?
1092
00:56:49.698 --> 00:56:52.118
- We should get you a hat.
1093
00:56:52.118 --> 00:56:53.953
Let's get you some eggnog
1094
00:56:53.953 --> 00:56:57.373
and sing some
carols.
1095
00:56:59.416 --> 00:57:02.586
Hey, there, Steve.
You still want
donkey cheese for Christmas?
1096
00:57:02.586 --> 00:57:04.672
Because I'll get it for you.
1097
00:57:04.672 --> 00:57:07.216
- If I win this game,
I'll buy you all the cheese.
1098
00:57:07.216 --> 00:57:09.301
So why don't you
sing some carols with me,
1099
00:57:09.301 --> 00:57:11.053
and I can get these points?
1100
00:57:11.053 --> 00:57:12.179
Oh, no!
1101
00:57:12.179 --> 00:57:14.640
Points...
1102
00:57:16.308 --> 00:57:19.311
The mall is getting
the biggest tree we can find,
1103
00:57:19.311 --> 00:57:20.729
- just for you.
1104
00:57:20.729 --> 00:57:22.356
Will you help us decorate it
1105
00:57:22.356 --> 00:57:25.109
for the points?
1106
00:57:30.322 --> 00:57:32.158
Where's your
ugly sweater? Points.
1107
00:57:32.158 --> 00:57:34.618
Want to watch some
holiday movies on my phone?
1108
00:57:34.618 --> 00:57:36.871
For points.
1109
00:57:40.166 --> 00:57:42.168
Points...
1110
00:57:42.168 --> 00:57:44.753
Steve, I think
your sweater isn't
the right Christmas green.
1111
00:57:44.753 --> 00:57:47.006
- It needs to be
a shade lighter.
1112
00:57:47.006 --> 00:57:49.675
- Take a seat and let me
tell you the story of Hanukkah.
1113
00:57:49.675 --> 00:57:52.094
- It's known as
the Festival of Lights.
1114
00:57:52.094 --> 00:57:54.722
Points...
1115
00:57:54.722 --> 00:57:56.765
- Points...
1116
00:57:58.726 --> 00:58:01.312
Come on! I built you.
Why aren't you starting?
1117
00:58:01.312 --> 00:58:05.399
Points, points...
1118
00:58:05.399 --> 00:58:07.234
- That is very cool.
1119
00:58:07.234 --> 00:58:10.529
It's a Christmas mitzvah,
how you mess with my things.
1120
00:58:10.529 --> 00:58:12.406
Oh, come on. Come on.
1121
00:58:17.411 --> 00:58:19.830
I'll bring it back, I promise!
1122
00:58:19.830 --> 00:58:23.292
- Or don't. I'm generous
and charitable that way.
1123
00:58:23.292 --> 00:58:26.462
As long as I get these points.
1124
00:58:27.338 --> 00:58:28.589
Yes.
1125
00:58:28.589 --> 00:58:30.341
Would you like
to sing a carol with me?
1126
00:58:30.341 --> 00:58:32.468
- I thought you'd never ask.
1127
00:58:32.468 --> 00:58:34.386
♪ Points points, points
Points, points, points ♪
1128
00:58:34.386 --> 00:58:36.680
♪ Points points
Points, points, points ♪
1129
00:58:43.187 --> 00:58:46.523
♪ I thought I was a nice kid ♪
1130
00:58:46.523 --> 00:58:49.818
♪ But maybe I'm a troll ♪
1131
00:58:49.818 --> 00:58:53.697
♪ 'Cause every time
I try to help ♪
1132
00:58:53.697 --> 00:58:57.326
♪ I seem to miss my goal ♪
1133
00:58:57.326 --> 00:59:00.454
♪ I wanted to make
The holidays better ♪
1134
00:59:00.454 --> 00:59:04.124
♪ But I made everything worse ♪
1135
00:59:04.124 --> 00:59:07.002
♪ I'm not a holiday gift ♪
1136
00:59:07.002 --> 00:59:11.048
♪ I'm a Christmas curse ♪
1137
00:59:11.048 --> 00:59:14.009
♪ He's not a holiday gift ♪
1138
00:59:14.009 --> 00:59:18.305
♪ He's a Christmas curse ♪
1139
00:59:18.305 --> 00:59:21.392
♪ Everything was fine ♪
1140
00:59:21.392 --> 00:59:27.314
♪ Until I got invo...
...olved ♪
1141
00:59:30.442 --> 00:59:33.028
♪ So if I run away ♪
1142
00:59:33.028 --> 00:59:37.908
♪ Maybe the problem
will be solved ♪
1143
00:59:37.908 --> 00:59:40.160
♪ If he runs away ♪
1144
00:59:40.160 --> 00:59:44.623
♪ Maybe the problem
will be solved ♪
1145
00:59:44.623 --> 00:59:47.918
♪ I wanted to make
the holidays better ♪
1146
00:59:47.918 --> 00:59:51.213
♪ But I only
made things worse ♪
1147
00:59:51.213 --> 00:59:54.425
♪ I'm not a holiday gift ♪
1148
00:59:54.425 --> 00:59:58.387
♪ I'm a Christmas curse ♪
1149
00:59:58.387 --> 01:00:01.348
♪ He's not a holiday gift ♪
1150
01:00:01.348 --> 01:00:05.311
♪ He's a Christmas curse ♪
1151
01:00:05.311 --> 01:00:07.271
- Oh...
1152
01:00:08.647 --> 01:00:10.065
- Uh-oh.
1153
01:00:17.823 --> 01:00:19.658
Where am I?
1154
01:00:29.835 --> 01:00:33.630
Kid, calm down, please.
1155
01:00:33.630 --> 01:00:34.840
You can talk?
1156
01:00:34.840 --> 01:00:37.593
Yes. You've got
good aim, Steve.
1157
01:00:37.593 --> 01:00:40.012
Well, only when I'm terrified.
1158
01:00:40.012 --> 01:00:42.514
Wait, how do you know my name?
1159
01:00:42.514 --> 01:00:44.850
I know every kid's name.
1160
01:00:44.850 --> 01:00:47.895
It's kind of my thing,
being Santa and all.
1161
01:00:47.895 --> 01:00:49.563
You're Santa Claus?
1162
01:00:49.563 --> 01:00:51.440
In the fur.
1163
01:00:51.440 --> 01:00:53.567
You're a...
1164
01:00:53.567 --> 01:00:55.736
Yes, Steve Urkel.
1165
01:00:55.736 --> 01:00:57.571
Santa Claus is a yeti!
1166
01:00:59.406 --> 01:01:02.201
No, no, no, no, no.
That's ridiculous.
1167
01:01:02.201 --> 01:01:03.952
I've been
helping Santa for years.
1168
01:01:03.952 --> 01:01:06.288
Officially, or off the books?
1169
01:01:06.288 --> 01:01:07.873
That's not important.
1170
01:01:07.873 --> 01:01:10.667
As a self-taught Santa expert,
what I know is,
1171
01:01:10.667 --> 01:01:12.419
Santa can't be a yeti.
1172
01:01:17.758 --> 01:01:19.385
♪ Santa Claus is a yeti ♪
1173
01:01:19.385 --> 01:01:21.720
♪ What's the problem
that you see? ♪
1174
01:01:21.720 --> 01:01:24.765
♪ Does that challenge
your idea ♪
1175
01:01:24.765 --> 01:01:27.017
♪ Of who a yeti should be? ♪
1176
01:01:27.017 --> 01:01:29.645
♪ You might see a monster ♪
1177
01:01:29.645 --> 01:01:31.939
♪ But I'm a friendly-o ♪
1178
01:01:31.939 --> 01:01:34.566
♪ Yeti dressed in reddy
With a big, big belly ♪
1179
01:01:34.566 --> 01:01:36.985
♪ And a fuzzy, fuzzy beard
Living in the North Pole ♪
1180
01:01:36.985 --> 01:01:40.489
But there's never been
scientific proof
of your existence.
1181
01:01:40.489 --> 01:01:42.116
Not Santa Claus. Yetis.
1182
01:01:42.116 --> 01:01:43.992
Ouch! That hurts.
1183
01:01:43.992 --> 01:01:47.371
Uh, I guess you know a lot of
centuries-old humans.
1184
01:01:47.371 --> 01:01:49.081
Well, my grandma's
pretty old.
1185
01:01:49.081 --> 01:01:51.500
But can she fit down a chimney
carrying a bag of toys
1186
01:01:51.500 --> 01:01:52.835
without being seen?
1187
01:01:52.835 --> 01:01:56.046
I can. It's what
we Bigfoots are great at.
1188
01:01:56.046 --> 01:01:58.090
Doors, on the other hand,
confuse the heck out of me.
1189
01:01:58.090 --> 01:02:00.759
Turn and pull
and then go in.
Oh.
1190
01:02:00.759 --> 01:02:03.804
Wait a minute.
People have seen
Santa before.
1191
01:02:03.804 --> 01:02:06.098
I try to stay hidden
as much as possible,
1192
01:02:06.098 --> 01:02:12.187
but a few lucky children
have gazed upon
this beautiful visage.
1193
01:02:12.187 --> 01:02:16.024
So by now,
somebody would have said
Santa's a yeti
1194
01:02:16.024 --> 01:02:19.153
or gotten upset
that you don't look like
a biker after a spa day.
1195
01:02:19.153 --> 01:02:20.320
♪ Oh ♪
1196
01:02:20.320 --> 01:02:21.989
♪ People have opinions ♪
1197
01:02:21.989 --> 01:02:24.408
♪ Of how we should
look and sound ♪
1198
01:02:24.408 --> 01:02:26.869
♪ If you challenge
their beliefs ♪
1199
01:02:26.869 --> 01:02:30.038 line:5%
♪ They tend
to put you down ♪
1200
01:02:30.038 --> 01:02:33.625 line:5%
♪ They've made a reality
That's comfortable to them ♪
1201
01:02:33.625 --> 01:02:35.794 line:5%
♪ So instead of seeing a yeti
Dressed in reddy ♪
1202
01:02:35.794 --> 01:02:38.005 line:5%
♪ With a big, big belly
And a fuzzy, fuzzy beard ♪
1203
01:02:38.005 --> 01:02:39.756 line:5%
♪ They'd rather see
some old man ♪
1204
01:02:39.756 --> 01:02:41.383
Not just any old man.
1205
01:02:41.383 --> 01:02:42.926
They want to see
the one who's--
1206
01:02:42.926 --> 01:02:47.264
White, uh, fur
can kind of look like a beard.
1207
01:02:47.264 --> 01:02:48.348
Don't you think?
1208
01:02:48.348 --> 01:02:50.434
Hmm. It does.
1209
01:02:50.434 --> 01:02:52.394
And I guess
from far enough away,
1210
01:02:52.394 --> 01:02:55.814
your hands and feet
kind of look like
boots and gloves.
1211
01:02:55.814 --> 01:02:57.524
Exactly!
1212
01:02:57.524 --> 01:03:00.235
I mean, "claws" is right there
in the name, Santa Claus.
1213
01:03:00.235 --> 01:03:01.612
Hello!
1214
01:03:01.612 --> 01:03:04.323
How many humans
do you know named Santa?
1215
01:03:04.323 --> 01:03:07.451
It's actually
an old yeti word.
1216
01:03:07.451 --> 01:03:10.287
It means yeti.
1217
01:03:10.287 --> 01:03:12.456
My real name
is Krisskringel.
1218
01:03:12.456 --> 01:03:13.707
Holy moly!
1219
01:03:13.707 --> 01:03:15.709
You're Santa
and you're a yeti!
1220
01:03:15.709 --> 01:03:17.628
Ho-ho-ho.
1221
01:03:17.628 --> 01:03:19.171
- ♪ Santa Claus is a yeti ♪
- ♪ Mmm-hmm ♪
1222
01:03:19.171 --> 01:03:20.839
♪ Now you know the deal ♪
1223
01:03:20.839 --> 01:03:24.092
♪ But if he's someone else
to you ♪
1224
01:03:24.092 --> 01:03:26.261
♪ Please do what you feel ♪
1225
01:03:26.261 --> 01:03:29.181
♪ If Santa was a penguin ♪
1226
01:03:29.181 --> 01:03:30.807
♪ That would be okay ♪
1227
01:03:30.807 --> 01:03:32.851
♪ Because all
that really matters ♪
1228
01:03:32.851 --> 01:03:34.937
♪ It's not the red, red hat
Or the fuzzy, fuzzy beard ♪
1229
01:03:34.937 --> 01:03:37.397
♪ It's joy
on Christmas Day ♪
1230
01:03:37.397 --> 01:03:39.233
♪ It's respecting
one another ♪
1231
01:03:39.233 --> 01:03:40.984
♪ Like they're your sister
Or your brother ♪
1232
01:03:40.984 --> 01:03:42.611
♪ And spreading cheer
on Christmas Day ♪
1233
01:03:42.611 --> 01:03:43.862
♪ Being good
to everyone you see ♪
1234
01:03:43.862 --> 01:03:45.489
♪ And leaving me cookies ♪
1235
01:03:45.489 --> 01:03:48.325
♪ The true spirit
of the holiday ♪
1236
01:03:49.743 --> 01:03:51.453
By the way,
you got any cookies?
1237
01:03:51.453 --> 01:03:52.663
No.
1238
01:03:52.663 --> 01:03:54.289
Santa, I, uh...
1239
01:03:54.289 --> 01:03:56.291
I may have screwed up
the holidays.
1240
01:03:56.291 --> 01:03:59.586
It's okay.
I have other cookies.
1241
01:03:59.586 --> 01:04:02.256
Now, what brings you
to the North Pole?
1242
01:04:02.256 --> 01:04:03.757
Haven't you seen?
1243
01:04:03.757 --> 01:04:05.759
I messed up everything
back home.
1244
01:04:05.759 --> 01:04:08.136
I kind of blew up
the mall, twice.
1245
01:04:08.136 --> 01:04:10.889
I built a game-changing,
holiday-ruining app.
1246
01:04:10.889 --> 01:04:13.392
I turned
Department Store Santa
into a meme.
1247
01:04:13.392 --> 01:04:15.936
People are calling him
No Pantsa Claus.
1248
01:04:15.936 --> 01:04:18.522
Sorry, I don't have
Wi-Fi up here,
1249
01:04:18.522 --> 01:04:21.358
but I'd have maybe gone
with Santa Drawers.
1250
01:04:21.358 --> 01:04:24.611
Santa, I was trying so hard
to impress you this year
1251
01:04:24.611 --> 01:04:26.572
that I wrecked everything!
1252
01:04:26.572 --> 01:04:28.657
Why were you trying
to impress me?
1253
01:04:28.657 --> 01:04:30.659
Because you're Santa.
1254
01:04:30.659 --> 01:04:32.244
The Santa Claus.
1255
01:04:32.244 --> 01:04:33.954
You're amazing!
1256
01:04:33.954 --> 01:04:36.331
And you're only going to come
if everything is perfect.
1257
01:04:36.331 --> 01:04:38.834
The lights,
the cheer, even me.
1258
01:04:38.834 --> 01:04:41.461
I built this watch
to make sure I did
everything right
1259
01:04:41.461 --> 01:04:42.838
and bring you to Chicago
1260
01:04:42.838 --> 01:04:44.756
and fulfill everyone's
Christmas wishes.
1261
01:04:44.756 --> 01:04:47.384
Hmm.
What do you want this year?
1262
01:04:47.384 --> 01:04:51.138
Some Serbian donkey cheese,
if I remember correctly.
1263
01:04:51.138 --> 01:04:54.516 line:5%
Right now, my wish would be
to fix everything back home.
1264
01:04:54.516 --> 01:04:56.560
And I clearly
haven't earned that.
1265
01:04:56.560 --> 01:05:00.314
Well, between you and me,
I'm not really keeping score
1266
01:05:00.314 --> 01:05:02.149
on whether you've been
naughty or nice.
1267
01:05:02.149 --> 01:05:03.567
What?
1268
01:05:03.567 --> 01:05:05.152
Oh, Steve.
1269
01:05:05.152 --> 01:05:07.863
Take a seat with me
at this piano a moment.
1270
01:05:11.325 --> 01:05:15.370
♪ I'm not keeping score ♪
1271
01:05:18.206 --> 01:05:22.669
♪ That's not what
Christmas is for ♪
1272
01:05:24.755 --> 01:05:29.259
♪ It's not
some holiday test ♪
1273
01:05:31.511 --> 01:05:36.642
♪ To force you
to be your best ♪
1274
01:05:36.642 --> 01:05:38.310
♪ Oh ♪
1275
01:05:38.310 --> 01:05:44.816
♪ If I was watching
your every move ♪
1276
01:05:46.443 --> 01:05:52.032
♪ That could feel
pretty scary ♪
1277
01:05:52.032 --> 01:05:55.702
♪ And the stress
to not screw things up ♪
1278
01:05:55.702 --> 01:06:02.668
♪ Would be a lot
for a kid to carry ♪
1279
01:06:05.212 --> 01:06:08.840
♪ You're still learning
How the world works ♪
1280
01:06:08.840 --> 01:06:12.469
♪ So you're bound
to make mistakes ♪
1281
01:06:12.469 --> 01:06:15.681
♪ You know
The real test of your mettle ♪
1282
01:06:15.681 --> 01:06:19.059
♪ Is what you do
when something breaks ♪
1283
01:06:19.059 --> 01:06:22.479
♪ It's stepping in
To say I'm sorry ♪
1284
01:06:22.479 --> 01:06:26.274
♪ And then trying
to make amends ♪
1285
01:06:26.274 --> 01:06:29.820
♪ With the person
who your action hurt ♪
1286
01:06:29.820 --> 01:06:35.367
♪ Whether strangers
Family or friends ♪
1287
01:06:35.367 --> 01:06:37.119
♪ Oh ♪
1288
01:06:37.119 --> 01:06:41.581
♪ I'm not keeping score ♪
1289
01:06:43.792 --> 01:06:47.879
♪ That's not
what Christmas is for ♪
1290
01:06:47.879 --> 01:06:50.340
♪ Ooh ♪
1291
01:06:50.340 --> 01:06:55.178
♪ It's not some holiday test ♪
1292
01:06:57.264 --> 01:07:03.979
♪ To force you
to be your best ♪
1293
01:07:03.979 --> 01:07:07.232 line:5%
♪ Let's say
you wanted a dirt bike ♪
1294
01:07:07.232 --> 01:07:10.986 line:5%
♪ And you were good
all year long ♪
1295
01:07:10.986 --> 01:07:14.364 line:5%
♪ But it didn't show up
on Christmas ♪
1296
01:07:14.364 --> 01:07:17.617 line:5%
♪ Would you think
you did something wrong? ♪
1297
01:07:17.617 --> 01:07:21.204
♪ Would you feel
kind of hurt? ♪
1298
01:07:21.204 --> 01:07:24.708
♪ Would you scream
Oh, what's the point? ♪
1299
01:07:24.708 --> 01:07:27.836 line:5%
♪ And no matter
how we behave ♪
1300
01:07:27.836 --> 01:07:33.341
♪ We don't always get
what we want ♪
1301
01:07:35.802 --> 01:07:42.517
♪ My Christmas wish
Is that kids are good ♪
1302
01:07:42.517 --> 01:07:48.273
♪ Because that's
who they want to be ♪
1303
01:07:49.900 --> 01:07:55.572 line:5%
♪ Not because
They feel pressure ♪
1304
01:07:55.572 --> 01:08:00.118
♪ To try and impress me ♪
1305
01:08:02.120 --> 01:08:09.127
♪ Because I'm not
keeping score ♪
1306
01:08:09.586 --> 01:08:14.341
♪ That's not what
Christmas is for ♪
1307
01:08:16.092 --> 01:08:22.724
♪ It's not some
holiday test ♪
1308
01:08:22.724 --> 01:08:28.855
♪ To force you
to be your best ♪
1309
01:08:28.855 --> 01:08:35.862
♪ I'm not keeping ♪
1310
01:08:36.947 --> 01:08:40.575
♪ Score ♪
1311
01:08:40.575 --> 01:08:45.831
♪ I'm not keeping score ♪
1312
01:08:48.708 --> 01:08:51.378
Cut back on the cookies.
1313
01:08:51.378 --> 01:08:53.547
I do want
to be a good person,
1314
01:08:53.547 --> 01:08:56.091
but I guess I thought I needed
to be even more special
1315
01:08:56.091 --> 01:08:57.926
or Christmas wouldn't come.
1316
01:08:57.926 --> 01:09:00.512
Isn't that why you have
naughty and nice lists?
1317
01:09:00.512 --> 01:09:03.849
I mean, don't all the
Department Store Santas
report back to you?
1318
01:09:03.849 --> 01:09:07.060
Sure, but just to
tell me what things
kids want this year.
1319
01:09:07.060 --> 01:09:09.813
I don't want to make
a bunch of wagons
if kids aren't into them.
1320
01:09:09.813 --> 01:09:13.900
The elves hate
when wagons go to waste.
1321
01:09:13.900 --> 01:09:16.528
I still messed up
pretty bad.
1322
01:09:16.528 --> 01:09:19.364
I don't think anyone
will ever forgive me.
1323
01:09:19.364 --> 01:09:22.075
You won't know
unless you try.
1324
01:09:22.075 --> 01:09:23.618
I'm scared to go home.
1325
01:09:23.618 --> 01:09:26.705
What if I
ruin things again?
1326
01:09:26.705 --> 01:09:28.665
Maybe I can stay here,
1327
01:09:28.665 --> 01:09:30.709
officially become
one of your helpers.
1328
01:09:30.709 --> 01:09:32.627
I'm willing to do
whatever it takes.
1329
01:09:35.881 --> 01:09:37.465
Oh.
1330
01:09:45.307 --> 01:09:46.933
Is there
an application fee?
1331
01:09:46.933 --> 01:09:48.351
Uh, no.
1332
01:09:48.351 --> 01:09:50.687
I mean, are you just
going to run away?
1333
01:09:50.687 --> 01:09:52.355
Won't people miss you?
1334
01:09:52.355 --> 01:09:54.649
No. They're better off
without me.
1335
01:09:54.649 --> 01:09:56.359
You sure about that?
1336
01:09:56.359 --> 01:10:00.530
Steve, why do you celebrate
every December holiday?
1337
01:10:00.530 --> 01:10:03.366
You're not Jewish,
and yet you help Mr. Kalan
1338
01:10:03.366 --> 01:10:05.493
celebrate Hanukkah
every year.
1339
01:10:05.493 --> 01:10:07.245
And on New Year's Eve,
you're always helping
1340
01:10:07.245 --> 01:10:10.373
the Kochiyama family
clean their house
for Omisoka.
1341
01:10:10.373 --> 01:10:12.208
Because Mr. Kalan's
my friend,
1342
01:10:12.208 --> 01:10:15.128
and he shouldn't
have to celebrate
the holidays by himself.
1343
01:10:15.128 --> 01:10:17.130
And the Kochiyama family
matter to me,
1344
01:10:17.130 --> 01:10:19.591
so I just want to know
what's special
and important to them.
1345
01:10:19.591 --> 01:10:21.635
Kid, those are nicer gifts
than anything
1346
01:10:21.635 --> 01:10:23.637
this freakishly
beautiful yeti
1347
01:10:23.637 --> 01:10:25.805
in a red suit
could ever build.
1348
01:10:25.805 --> 01:10:28.141
- You might be a little--
- Eager?
1349
01:10:28.141 --> 01:10:31.394
But as long as you care
about the people around you,
1350
01:10:31.394 --> 01:10:35.106
then you're officially
helping me spread
holiday cheer.
1351
01:10:35.106 --> 01:10:37.150
It's not about how many
lights you put up
1352
01:10:37.150 --> 01:10:40.028
or how many cookies
you leave out.
1353
01:10:40.028 --> 01:10:41.821
Although the more
the merrier.
1354
01:10:41.821 --> 01:10:43.657
You're right, Santa.
1355
01:10:43.657 --> 01:10:45.325
And if I really care,
1356
01:10:45.325 --> 01:10:47.953
then I need to go back home
and clean up my mess.
1357
01:10:47.953 --> 01:10:50.205
See, Steve,
you don't need a watch
1358
01:10:50.205 --> 01:10:52.374
to tell you
the right thing to do.
1359
01:10:52.374 --> 01:10:55.961
Dudley's got everybody
fake celebrating the holidays
to win money.
1360
01:10:55.961 --> 01:10:58.546
Maybe I can build
some kind of mind ray.
1361
01:10:58.546 --> 01:11:01.299
Not control,
but maybe just reprogramming.
1362
01:11:01.299 --> 01:11:03.802
And maybe erasing
some of their
short-term memory.
1363
01:11:03.802 --> 01:11:05.428
It shouldn't hurt too much.
1364
01:11:05.428 --> 01:11:08.556
Hmm. But maybe
you could use an assist.
1365
01:11:08.556 --> 01:11:10.225
This holiday season,
1366
01:11:10.225 --> 01:11:13.395
could I be your unofficial
official helper?
1367
01:11:13.395 --> 01:11:15.438
You want to be my helper?
1368
01:11:15.438 --> 01:11:17.482
Santa's my helper?
1369
01:11:17.482 --> 01:11:19.234
Oh, wow!
1370
01:11:19.234 --> 01:11:21.528
Well, I should probably
get you an orientation packet,
1371
01:11:21.528 --> 01:11:23.655
- and there will be
a strict dress code.
- Steve.
1372
01:11:23.655 --> 01:11:26.366
Or how about
just a lift back home
to shut Dudley's app down
1373
01:11:26.366 --> 01:11:28.868
and remind people
to just be good
for goodness sake?
1374
01:11:28.868 --> 01:11:30.328
Oh, you better watch out.
1375
01:11:30.328 --> 01:11:31.955
♪ You better not pout ♪
1376
01:11:31.955 --> 01:11:35.417
No, watch out.
My reindeer are pulling up.
1377
01:11:38.837 --> 01:11:40.839
Wanna go fix
the holidays?
1378
01:11:40.839 --> 01:11:41.923
Yes!
1379
01:11:46.511 --> 01:11:48.013
What was that song
you were singing?
1380
01:11:48.013 --> 01:11:50.306
"Santa Claus
Is Coming To Town."
1381
01:11:50.306 --> 01:11:52.559
- Who sings it?
- Everybody.
1382
01:11:52.559 --> 01:11:55.645
Have you never heard
any of the Christmas carols
people sing about you?
1383
01:11:55.645 --> 01:11:58.606
No.
I don't have the Internet.
1384
01:11:58.606 --> 01:12:00.775
And I'm not
that self-absorbed.
1385
01:12:02.068 --> 01:12:03.486
Are they good songs?
1386
01:12:03.486 --> 01:12:05.363
What if we change
the value of points
1387
01:12:05.363 --> 01:12:08.658
based on how many people
are using the app
at a certain time?
1388
01:12:08.658 --> 01:12:11.077
We'd call it
surge nicing.
1389
01:12:11.077 --> 01:12:12.746
Ethically questionable.
1390
01:12:12.746 --> 01:12:14.914
But business wise,
it will make you richer.
1391
01:12:14.914 --> 01:12:17.792
Perfect.
L-O-L-O-L-O-L.
1392
01:12:17.792 --> 01:12:18.960
Whoa!
1393
01:12:18.960 --> 01:12:20.628
Stop!
1394
01:12:23.590 --> 01:12:25.925
@steveurkel?
And a Bigfoot?
1395
01:12:25.925 --> 01:12:27.594
Hey, I'm Santa!
1396
01:12:27.594 --> 01:12:30.221
Whoa! Santa's a Bigfoot?
1397
01:12:30.221 --> 01:12:32.223
Explosion emoji, man.
1398
01:12:32.223 --> 01:12:34.184
You just disrupted
my mind right there. Wow.
1399
01:12:34.184 --> 01:12:36.603
Dudley, we've got
to shut the app down.
1400
01:12:36.603 --> 01:12:39.230
We've turned everyone into
a bunch of holiday zombies
1401
01:12:39.230 --> 01:12:41.691
that are only pretending
to be nice to get a reward.
1402
01:12:41.691 --> 01:12:43.860
I know.
I am on the precipice
1403
01:12:43.860 --> 01:12:46.613
of something #epic.
1404
01:12:46.613 --> 01:12:51.576
For a reward,
I'm getting people
to do whatever I want.
1405
01:12:51.576 --> 01:12:53.870
I can make them
be merry if I want.
1406
01:12:53.870 --> 01:12:55.789
But why stop
at the holidays?
1407
01:12:55.789 --> 01:12:57.874
I could also tell them
what to buy,
1408
01:12:57.874 --> 01:13:00.877
or how to think
or how to vote.
1409
01:13:00.877 --> 01:13:03.296
The possibilities
are endless.
1410
01:13:03.296 --> 01:13:04.714
Well, aren't we
supposed to be
1411
01:13:04.714 --> 01:13:06.674
disrupting people's lives
for the better?
1412
01:13:06.674 --> 01:13:08.718
Uh, yeah.
1413
01:13:08.718 --> 01:13:10.845
And what's better
than getting everyone
to do what I tell them?
1414
01:13:10.845 --> 01:13:12.347
I'm a genius.
1415
01:13:12.347 --> 01:13:14.099
I'm changing the world.
1416
01:13:14.099 --> 01:13:15.642
I'd be like Santa,
1417
01:13:15.642 --> 01:13:17.811
but year around
and with way better hair.
1418
01:13:17.811 --> 01:13:21.481
Excuse me?
Have you seen these locks?
1419
01:13:21.481 --> 01:13:23.983
What you're doing
is nothing like Santa.
1420
01:13:23.983 --> 01:13:26.277
Oh, please.
Isn't that what Christmas is?
1421
01:13:26.277 --> 01:13:29.489
You just pretend to be nice
to get a dolly or a video game.
1422
01:13:29.489 --> 01:13:32.575
All to please a reclusive,
well-resourced mogul
1423
01:13:32.575 --> 01:13:34.702
who lives
in a hard-to-reach place.
1424
01:13:34.702 --> 01:13:39.457
Say hey with five "Y"s
to your new Santa.
1425
01:13:39.457 --> 01:13:42.418
Oh, no. That's cultural
appropriation, honey.
1426
01:13:42.418 --> 01:13:44.087
This is a mistake!
1427
01:13:44.087 --> 01:13:45.672
I want my tech back.
1428
01:13:45.672 --> 01:13:47.090
Uh, remember when
I sang you a song
1429
01:13:47.090 --> 01:13:48.883
about moving fast
and breaking things?
1430
01:13:48.883 --> 01:13:51.386
Well, I've got another song
I'd like to sing for you.
1431
01:13:51.386 --> 01:13:54.347
It's called "No Backsies."
And a one, a two--
1432
01:13:54.347 --> 01:13:55.640
No!
1433
01:13:55.640 --> 01:13:57.475
If you're not going
to shut it down,
1434
01:13:57.475 --> 01:13:59.936
then I'll have
to shut you down.
1435
01:13:59.936 --> 01:14:03.189
You ever see that GIF
where someone's like,
"Come. Get some."
1436
01:14:03.189 --> 01:14:04.732
I'm about to make
one of my own.
1437
01:14:06.860 --> 01:14:08.945
Are you sure
about this, Steve?
1438
01:14:08.945 --> 01:14:11.281
You're a little boy,
he's a grown adult.
1439
01:14:12.782 --> 01:14:14.367
That escalated quickly.
1440
01:14:19.080 --> 01:14:20.081
Huh?
1441
01:14:23.501 --> 01:14:25.211
Well, I did not
see that coming.
1442
01:14:25.211 --> 01:14:27.881
It's how real Gs
settle their differences.
1443
01:14:27.881 --> 01:14:31.634
When the "G"
stands for genius.
1444
01:14:31.634 --> 01:14:35.722
Seeing as how
you're an uninvited guest
on my yacht air balloon,
1445
01:14:35.722 --> 01:14:38.558
I'll give you the honor
of going first.
1446
01:14:38.558 --> 01:14:39.976
Big mistake.
1447
01:14:42.854 --> 01:14:45.231
People are selfish,
@steveurkel.
1448
01:14:45.231 --> 01:14:49.277
They only want to be nice
to get something.
1449
01:14:49.277 --> 01:14:52.071
- You are wrong, Dudley!
- Whoa!
1450
01:14:53.364 --> 01:14:54.532
Hmm.
1451
01:14:55.491 --> 01:14:56.659
Uh-oh.
1452
01:14:56.659 --> 01:14:59.370
Ah!
1453
01:15:05.793 --> 01:15:06.794
Whoopsie.
1454
01:15:09.589 --> 01:15:11.007
A-ha!
1455
01:15:22.352 --> 01:15:24.938 line:5%
I'm just making
some extra money
to get my dad a gift.
1456
01:15:24.938 --> 01:15:26.439 line:5%
This is better
than basketball.
1457
01:15:26.439 --> 01:15:28.733 line:5%
You want me to celebrate
Hanukkah with your robot?
1458
01:15:28.733 --> 01:15:30.193 line:5%
Donkey cheese.
1459
01:15:33.988 --> 01:15:34.989
What?
1460
01:15:37.867 --> 01:15:39.327
- Ah!
- Hey!
1461
01:15:41.246 --> 01:15:42.247
Ho-ho-ho.
1462
01:15:49.462 --> 01:15:52.423
Check and mate.
1463
01:15:56.177 --> 01:15:58.179
Skull emoji.
1464
01:15:59.973 --> 01:16:00.932
Oh.
1465
01:16:00.932 --> 01:16:02.809
Did I do that?
1466
01:16:03.559 --> 01:16:04.769
I think I did.
1467
01:16:05.895 --> 01:16:07.522
Yeah! Oh!
1468
01:16:18.324 --> 01:16:19.325
Uh-oh.
1469
01:16:22.328 --> 01:16:24.080
Oh, no! Please no!
1470
01:16:29.669 --> 01:16:31.296
Well, that doesn't
look good.
1471
01:16:54.902 --> 01:16:56.070
Is everyone okay?
1472
01:16:56.070 --> 01:16:57.322
Oh, Santa.
1473
01:16:57.322 --> 01:16:59.824
No, Steve, I'm fine.
1474
01:16:59.824 --> 01:17:02.493
Magical being, remember?
1475
01:17:02.493 --> 01:17:05.496
Dudley, I'm sorry
I broke your ship.
1476
01:17:05.496 --> 01:17:07.623
You know, I can work it off
to pay you back.
1477
01:17:07.623 --> 01:17:11.836
All the money I made
from the Von Durffel app
kind of makes us even.
1478
01:17:11.836 --> 01:17:14.255
If you had asked
for even a small cut...
1479
01:17:14.255 --> 01:17:16.716
Ow!
...you'd be rich.
1480
01:17:16.716 --> 01:17:18.468
But...
1481
01:17:18.468 --> 01:17:22.096
♪ No backsies
That's what I said. No... ♪
1482
01:17:22.096 --> 01:17:24.057
I forget the rest,
but it's really cool.
1483
01:17:24.057 --> 01:17:26.642
I don't invent things
to get rich.
1484
01:17:26.642 --> 01:17:29.645
I do it to bring happiness
to people.
1485
01:17:31.856 --> 01:17:33.441
ROTFL.
1486
01:17:33.441 --> 01:17:36.361
Happiness is overrated,
@steveurkel.
1487
01:17:36.361 --> 01:17:39.072
People have already
had a taste of the future,
1488
01:17:39.072 --> 01:17:41.032
and they're not going back.
1489
01:17:41.032 --> 01:17:43.743
This is the future, okay?
1490
01:17:43.743 --> 01:17:45.453
Embrace it.
1491
01:17:45.453 --> 01:17:47.789
Your old ideas
about being nice
1492
01:17:47.789 --> 01:17:50.416
have been disrupted
by something better,
1493
01:17:50.416 --> 01:17:52.418
by someone better.
1494
01:17:52.418 --> 01:17:54.754
By me!
1495
01:17:56.923 --> 01:17:59.133
What's going on?
Did the app crash?
1496
01:17:59.133 --> 01:18:01.177
Will these points count?
I need my points!
1497
01:18:02.220 --> 01:18:04.055
Points!
1498
01:18:04.055 --> 01:18:06.140
I can't finish
these decorations
if I don't have my points.
1499
01:18:06.140 --> 01:18:08.101
Mrs. P, stop!
1500
01:18:08.101 --> 01:18:11.270
You don't need to hang
Mr. Kalan's lights
for points.
1501
01:18:11.270 --> 01:18:12.355
Yes, I do!
1502
01:18:12.355 --> 01:18:14.399
Why else would I do this?
1503
01:18:14.399 --> 01:18:16.484
Because he's your neighbor.
1504
01:18:16.484 --> 01:18:19.070
And even though
you two argue sometimes,
1505
01:18:19.070 --> 01:18:23.074
you worry about him
climbing on a ladder
because he's so old.
1506
01:18:23.074 --> 01:18:24.700
Hey, words hurt!
1507
01:18:24.700 --> 01:18:29.330
That's not winning you
any holiday cheer points.
1508
01:18:29.330 --> 01:18:31.958
Being nice
isn't a game to win.
1509
01:18:31.958 --> 01:18:33.626
I see that now.
1510
01:18:33.626 --> 01:18:36.546
The holidays aren't something
we do for points.
1511
01:18:36.546 --> 01:18:38.714
Points.
1512
01:18:38.714 --> 01:18:42.343
We celebrate the holidays
because it's an excuse
to check in on someone
1513
01:18:42.343 --> 01:18:43.636
when they have a bad day
1514
01:18:43.636 --> 01:18:45.888
and offer
to take him caroling.
1515
01:18:45.888 --> 01:18:48.182
Being with a friend
to celebrate Hanukkah
1516
01:18:48.182 --> 01:18:50.726
because you enjoy
each other's company.
1517
01:18:50.726 --> 01:18:53.813
It's not a bunch
of empty gestures
to win a prize.
1518
01:18:53.813 --> 01:18:55.940
Points?
1519
01:18:55.940 --> 01:18:58.776
It's celebrating each day
like a holiday.
1520
01:18:58.776 --> 01:19:01.612
Because the people
around us are gifts.
1521
01:19:01.612 --> 01:19:03.239
Wait, wait,
wait, wait, wait.
1522
01:19:03.239 --> 01:19:04.907
How is he broadcasting
from the Von Durffel game?
1523
01:19:04.907 --> 01:19:07.577
Magical being, honey.
Boop!
1524
01:19:07.577 --> 01:19:10.079
It's not about
proving how good we are,
1525
01:19:10.079 --> 01:19:12.665
but recognizing
how lucky we are.
1526
01:19:12.665 --> 01:19:14.542
Presents and treats
are great,
1527
01:19:14.542 --> 01:19:16.169
but the holidays
are a reminder
1528
01:19:16.169 --> 01:19:18.504
of how important we are
to one another.
1529
01:19:18.504 --> 01:19:21.007
Wow, you're still corny.
1530
01:19:24.469 --> 01:19:28.014
The nicest thing you can do
is to celebrate each other.
1531
01:19:28.014 --> 01:19:30.308
That's why I love
December so much.
1532
01:19:30.308 --> 01:19:31.601
Holiday boy!
1533
01:19:31.601 --> 01:19:33.978
Were you
about to sing?
1534
01:19:33.978 --> 01:19:35.354
Uh, yes.
1535
01:19:35.354 --> 01:19:38.191
Well, not without me!
1536
01:19:38.191 --> 01:19:39.484
♪ Driving a bus ♪
1537
01:19:41.777 --> 01:19:45.239
♪ Is a hard job ♪
1538
01:19:45.239 --> 01:19:51.162
♪ Where I often feel alone ♪
1539
01:19:52.955 --> 01:19:58.836
♪ Truth is
You lift my spirits ♪
1540
01:19:58.836 --> 01:20:03.424
♪ I just wish
You were a baritone ♪
1541
01:20:05.259 --> 01:20:07.345
♪ I love December ♪
1542
01:20:07.345 --> 01:20:09.889
♪ It's a great time
of the year ♪
1543
01:20:09.889 --> 01:20:11.974
♪ From the first
to the 31st ♪
1544
01:20:11.974 --> 01:20:15.102
♪ Let's celebrate
all the good cheer ♪
1545
01:20:15.102 --> 01:20:17.605
♪ We may celebrate
different holidays ♪
1546
01:20:17.605 --> 01:20:20.066
♪ But December
brings us all together ♪
1547
01:20:20.066 --> 01:20:23.027
♪ With the shared love
of our traditions ♪
1548
01:20:23.027 --> 01:20:25.530
♪ And a hatred
for cold weather ♪
1549
01:20:25.530 --> 01:20:27.782
♪ We love going
block to block ♪
1550
01:20:27.782 --> 01:20:30.535
♪ To see
the neighborhood lights ♪
1551
01:20:30.535 --> 01:20:33.037
♪ And caroling door to door ♪
1552
01:20:33.037 --> 01:20:36.249
♪ As long as we've got
the music rights ♪
1553
01:20:36.249 --> 01:20:38.125
Oh, he gets to sing?
1554
01:20:38.125 --> 01:20:39.669
No, thank you.
1555
01:20:39.669 --> 01:20:42.713
If I don't get to sing,
nobody gets to sing.
1556
01:20:42.713 --> 01:20:44.340
♪ No backsies ♪
1557
01:20:44.340 --> 01:20:46.217
Sir, you appear
to have a problem.
1558
01:20:46.217 --> 01:20:47.260
Am I off key?
1559
01:20:47.260 --> 01:20:49.053
Enormously so.
1560
01:20:49.053 --> 01:20:50.721
But in your rush to get
the Von Durffel game online,
1561
01:20:50.721 --> 01:20:52.348
you moved a little too fast.
1562
01:20:52.348 --> 01:20:54.100
Ugh. What did I break?
1563
01:20:54.100 --> 01:20:56.018
The company.
1564
01:20:56.018 --> 01:20:57.436
The shareholders are meeting
right now to vote you out.
1565
01:20:57.436 --> 01:20:59.689
No,
they can't do that.
1566
01:20:59.689 --> 01:21:01.816
If you had read
the user agreement
of your contract,
1567
01:21:01.816 --> 01:21:03.401
you'd see
they very much can.
1568
01:21:03.401 --> 01:21:07.113
No one ever reads those!
Come on!
1569
01:21:07.113 --> 01:21:12.201
♪ A Department Store Santa
Is more than just a shift ♪
1570
01:21:12.201 --> 01:21:14.787
♪ It's seeing the joy
on someone's face ♪
1571
01:21:14.787 --> 01:21:20.167
♪ When they find
that perfect gift ♪
1572
01:21:20.167 --> 01:21:26.465
♪ I never thought
I was a helmet guy ♪
1573
01:21:26.465 --> 01:21:32.305
♪ But I look amazin' ♪
1574
01:21:32.305 --> 01:21:34.390
♪ And you must be impressed ♪
1575
01:21:34.390 --> 01:21:38.936
♪ Your old man
Sounds like T-Pazin ♪
1576
01:21:38.936 --> 01:21:41.522
It's T-Pain, Dad.
1577
01:21:41.522 --> 01:21:43.065
Who is T-Pazin?
1578
01:21:45.484 --> 01:21:50.114
♪ Celebrating Hanukkah
You help honor my history ♪
1579
01:21:50.114 --> 01:21:52.908
♪ And the principles
of Kwanzaa ♪
1580
01:21:52.908 --> 01:21:55.369
♪ Empower community ♪
1581
01:21:55.369 --> 01:21:57.997
♪ The solstice
is the time we reflect ♪
1582
01:21:57.997 --> 01:22:00.750
♪ While we look forward ♪
1583
01:22:00.750 --> 01:22:03.169
♪ Festivus is from
a TV show ♪
1584
01:22:03.169 --> 01:22:05.046
♪ Does that make it awkward? ♪
1585
01:22:05.046 --> 01:22:08.257
♪ Not as long as
You love December ♪
1586
01:22:08.257 --> 01:22:10.426
♪ And respect
that I do, too ♪
1587
01:22:10.426 --> 01:22:12.637
♪ It's not just about
a Christmas tree ♪
1588
01:22:12.637 --> 01:22:13.929
♪ This month's about... ♪
1589
01:22:13.929 --> 01:22:17.683
I told you, kiddo.
You're a gift.
1590
01:22:17.683 --> 01:22:19.518
Thanks, Santa.
1591
01:22:19.518 --> 01:22:21.854
- Hmm.
- Aw.
1592
01:22:21.854 --> 01:22:26.275
♪ ...Thirty-first ♪
1593
01:22:26.275 --> 01:22:28.569
♪ Let's celebrate
All the good cheer ♪
1594
01:22:31.906 --> 01:22:33.991
The block looks amazing.
1595
01:22:33.991 --> 01:22:35.743
Is that house
decorated for Soyal?
1596
01:22:36.410 --> 01:22:37.953
Wow!
1597
01:22:37.953 --> 01:22:39.955
And there's one
for Kwanzaa.
1598
01:22:39.955 --> 01:22:41.874
This is really great.
1599
01:22:41.874 --> 01:22:45.378
It's not complete
until you decorate
your house.
1600
01:22:45.378 --> 01:22:49.548
It looks like now
the whole block
is waiting on you.
1601
01:22:49.548 --> 01:22:52.009
Oh, Mrs. Paxson,
you silly goose.
1602
01:22:52.009 --> 01:22:53.886
I decorated last March.
1603
01:22:53.886 --> 01:22:56.514
I was just waiting
on everybody else.
1604
01:23:07.191 --> 01:23:09.860
I'm really excited
about my light display
this year.
1605
01:23:09.860 --> 01:23:12.071
I hooked it up
to a solar battery
1606
01:23:12.071 --> 01:23:14.740
so you don't have to worry
about blowing out the power
to the street.
1607
01:23:14.740 --> 01:23:16.033
Unlike last year.
1608
01:23:25.918 --> 01:23:27.545
Did I do that?
1609
01:23:40.808 --> 01:23:42.226
Donkey cheese!