WEBVTT FILE

2
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(MAN HUMS)

3
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Oh!

4
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Uhh!
(HUMS)

5
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Whoa! Ugh!

6
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- Ooh!
- (TYPEWRITER BELL RINGS)

7
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(SWANS TWEET)

8
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(GENTLE ORCHESTRAL MUSIC)

9
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Stop!

10
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(COW MOOS)

11
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Don't eat that!
It's cow poo! Yuck!

12
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Put this down!

13
00:02:09.880 --> 00:02:12.929
What were you doing?
You were eating cow poo!

14
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Come on. Let's get you home.

15
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Got to get you clean.
Come on.

16
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(CHILDREN BABBLE)

17
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Let's get you in the bath.
Get you all clean.

18
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Sorry, Steve, I'll milk you later.

19
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- BOY: Hi, Steve!
- (STEVE BLEATS)

20
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WOMAN: Come on.

21
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You're so handsome.
You're so handsome!

22
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MAN ON ANSWERING MACHINE:
Hey. It's me.

23
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I can't wait to see you and the boys.

24
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I can't believe it's been
six weeks. Love you. 'Bye.

25
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WOMAN: Jimmy. I can't believe
I missed your call.

26
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It must have been while I was
wiping cow poo off our sons.

27
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What time is the boat due in?

28
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- I'm dying to see you.
- (BEEP!)

29
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JIMMY ON ANSWERING MACHINE:
Hello! You're still not there.

30
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You haven't moved back to London on me, have you?

31
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Potty now!

32
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Now? Alright.

33
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Wow, really? Oh! Hang on.

34
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Where'd you get Mummy's earplugs?

35
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(CHILD ensues)

36
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BOTH: Eeeee...

37
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WOMAN: Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh.

38
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- Eeeee...
- Mummy! Mummy!

39
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Yay, me, me!

40
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Sorry, Zack, just let Fred finish.

41
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(SINGS)
♪ 'Cause if he doesn't drop his load

42
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♪ Fred is going to explode! ♪

43
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- Eeee...
- Finished!

44
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All done? Come on, then.

45
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Whee! Oh.

46
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- No poo.
- All gone.

47
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Zack, no!

48
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- (GIGGLES)
- Oh! Zack.

49
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I need those.

50
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- 'Cause who's coming home today?
- BOYS: Daddy!

51
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(BOYS SING)
♪ Daddy boat, Daddy boat, Daddy boat

52
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♪ Daddy boat, Daddy boat, Daddy boat... ♪

53
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(BEEP!)

54
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JIMMY ON ANSWERING MACHINE:
Hey. It's me.

55
00:03:59.740 --> 00:04:02.084
There's a north wind trying to
blow us back to the Antarctic,

56
00:04:02.242 --> 00:04:04.961
but I promise I'll be home
for dinner - can't wait.

57
00:04:05.120 --> 00:04:08.215
- Boat!
- That's like Daddy's boat.

58
00:04:13.378 --> 00:04:15.005
- Boat!
- We don't need this boat.

59
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Because Daddy's coming home on his great big boat.

60
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We hope.

61
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- Boat!
- I said no.

62
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Come on! Come on!

63
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- Boat! Boat!
- Boat!

64
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(BOTH SCREAM) Boat!

65
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Boat! Boat!
Boat! Boat! Boat!

66
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(BOYS CONTINUE SCREAMING)

67
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(WOMAN SINGS)
♪ When moon shines

68
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♪ Its light on the sea

69
00:05:03.428 --> 00:05:07.604
♪ Its golden path glistens

70
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♪ The waves call and listen

71
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♪ To children who sleep finally

72
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♪ The night birds before us

73
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♪ Sing softly in chorus

74
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♪ And I clearly see... ♪

75
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(GLASS DROPS)

76
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(PLAYS BLUES RIFF)

77
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♪ I need a tantrum of my own

78
00:05:52.102 --> 00:05:55.026
♪ Don't wanna raise these kids alone

79
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♪ I'm sick of being tough

80
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♪ I feel I've had enough

81
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♪ I need a tantrum of my own

82
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♪ Waaaahhh!

83
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♪ Waaaahhh

84
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♪ Aaahh

85
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♪ Aaahhhhh

86
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<i>A' Ah ha. A'</i>

87
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Ah. Uh...

88
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(NOTES PLAY)

89
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Hey, crazy girl.

90
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- Sorry I'm so late.
- Oh!

91
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(BOTH sl<3l-l)

92
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- Been a big day, has it?
- Oh, baby.

93
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You don't know the half of it.

94
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(SNIFFS) I love your smell.

95
00:06:47.616 --> 00:06:51.041
- You have the best smell.
- Thanks.

96
00:06:51.202 --> 00:06:53.955
- Wanna go to bed?
- Yeah.

97
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(BOTH LAUGH)

98
00:07:15.101 --> 00:07:17.775
- Jimmy.
- (SIGHS)

99
00:07:19.814 --> 00:07:21.361
El...

100
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Doesn't matter.

101
00:07:36.206 --> 00:07:40.837
And now, Elspeth Dickens,

102
00:07:41.002 --> 00:07:43.596
mother of twins...

103
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...executes a triple half pike
with a twist of lemon.

104
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(SNORES SOFTLY)

105
00:08:17.372 --> 00:08:18.919
Baby?

106
00:08:21.584 --> 00:08:23.586
Baby?

107
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(ROOSTER CROWS)

108
00:09:03.376 --> 00:09:07.631
- BOY: Mama! Mama!
- Oh! Hold that thought.

109
00:09:13.845 --> 00:09:18.646
OK. You sit there,
you sit there. Alright. OK.

110
00:09:20.393 --> 00:09:22.566
- BOY: Come on, Dad!
- ELSPETH: Give it a kick!

111
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(WIGGLES SING) ♪ Doo-doo... ♪

112
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- BOTH: Yeah!
- Yes!

113
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♪ Let's all do the shimmie shake

114
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♪ Shake it on way down low

115
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- ♪ Shake it on high... ♪
- (ELSPETH GIGGLES)

116
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We got about three minutes till they're back in here.

117
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Ah! That's stacks of time!

118
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(GIGGLES)

119
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Peekaboo!

120
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(BOYS SHOUT HAPPILY)

121
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- Lads.
- Hi.

122
00:09:57.180 --> 00:09:58.807
Hi.

123
00:09:58.973 --> 00:10:01.317
(BOYS SQUEAL)

124
00:10:01.476 --> 00:10:03.444
Who wants to make breakfast in bed for Mama?

125
00:10:03.603 --> 00:10:05.105
- BOTH: Me!
- Hey! Come on.

126
00:10:06.815 --> 00:10:09.694
- (SNORES)
- (GLASS SMASHES)

127
00:10:09.859 --> 00:10:11.406
Huh?

128
00:10:14.072 --> 00:10:15.745
- I'm on it, I'm on it.
- The stove.

129
00:10:15.907 --> 00:10:17.284
- What? What?
- It's on.

130
00:10:17.450 --> 00:10:19.418
- Careful, you'll step on the...
- Get them off the counter.

131
00:10:19.577 --> 00:10:21.705
You put them next to a burning stove!

132
00:10:21.871 --> 00:10:23.373
What did you want me to do?

133
00:10:23.540 --> 00:10:25.383
Put them on the floor with the broken glass?

134
00:10:25.542 --> 00:10:27.544
- Can you pass me a paper towel?
- Where are they?

135
00:10:27.710 --> 00:10:29.132
In the drawer, where they always are.

136
00:10:29.295 --> 00:10:30.592
TWINS: Mama's foot.

137
00:10:30.755 --> 00:10:33.008
Yes, bubba, Mama got some glass in it.

138
00:10:33.174 --> 00:10:35.142
- Can I help?
- No.

139
00:10:35.301 --> 00:10:38.271
- You've done enough.
- El, don't do this.

140
00:10:38.429 --> 00:10:40.352
Maybe Dad'll take Fred and Zack to feed the chooks

141
00:10:40.515 --> 00:10:41.812
while Mama cleans up in here.

142
00:10:41.975 --> 00:10:45.605
- I can clean.
- No, Mama will do it.

143
00:10:47.188 --> 00:10:50.317
- What are we doing?
- It's OK.

144
00:10:50.483 --> 00:10:54.909
We'll go feed the chooks.
Daddy will be there in a second.

145
00:10:57.115 --> 00:10:59.914
- JIMMY: What's going on?
- Nothing.

146
00:11:01.870 --> 00:11:04.589
You go away, you come back.

147
00:11:04.747 --> 00:11:07.466
You vanish into the Antarctic for weeks at a time

148
00:11:07.625 --> 00:11:09.002
and I can't contact you.

149
00:11:09.169 --> 00:11:10.341
That's the job.

150
00:11:10.503 --> 00:11:12.881
Why don't I go record the sounds of the whales?

151
00:11:13.047 --> 00:11:14.674
You stay here and do my job.

152
00:11:16.301 --> 00:11:18.224
Do you ever think about what it's like

153
00:11:18.386 --> 00:11:20.059
for me to be stuck here?

154
00:11:20.221 --> 00:11:22.440
- No friends, no family.
- I know.

155
00:11:22.599 --> 00:11:25.398
I know it wasn't much of a career,
but I miss doing my gigs.

156
00:11:25.560 --> 00:11:26.937
- I know.
- Singing my little songs.

157
00:11:27.103 --> 00:11:28.150
- I know!
- You don't!

158
00:11:28.271 --> 00:11:30.273
Don't say you know when you don't know.

159
00:11:31.983 --> 00:11:35.237
You have your whales and your work.

160
00:11:35.403 --> 00:11:38.077
I've got one little boy who won't take his wings off

161
00:11:38.239 --> 00:11:40.162
and another who refuses to defecate.

162
00:11:40.325 --> 00:11:42.453
(CHUCKLES)

163
00:11:43.995 --> 00:11:45.463
It's not forever.

164
00:11:45.622 --> 00:11:48.091
- Remember the deal?
- Yeah, I remember.

165
00:11:48.249 --> 00:11:49.796
Your deal.
The deal you proposed to me.

166
00:11:49.959 --> 00:11:51.927
You look after the kids till they start school,

167
00:11:52.086 --> 00:11:53.508
then it's my turn.

168
00:11:53.671 --> 00:11:55.969
They won't go to school for another 8 billion years.

169
00:11:56.132 --> 00:11:58.385
You said you wanted to support me
doing something important.

170
00:11:58.551 --> 00:12:00.098
And I do.

171
00:12:00.261 --> 00:12:03.231
You said you were sick of
singing to drunks in London pubs.

172
00:12:03.389 --> 00:12:06.393
You wanted this. You loved
the idea of coming here.

173
00:12:06.559 --> 00:12:08.436
Look around you.
It's beautiful.

174
00:12:08.603 --> 00:12:10.776
- Can you go check on the kids?
- (BOYS SCREAM)

175
00:12:11.981 --> 00:12:14.075
El, the whales are here,

176
00:12:14.234 --> 00:12:15.986
and unless they start swimming up the Thames...

177
00:12:16.152 --> 00:12:18.996
You can't leave 'em alone in
the chicken coop. It'll be chaos.

178
00:12:27.705 --> 00:12:30.208
Steven. Please don't eat
my succulents.

179
00:12:34.712 --> 00:12:36.589
I'm gonna take the boys into town.

180
00:12:36.756 --> 00:12:38.508
Give you a break for the day.

181
00:12:40.301 --> 00:12:42.929
Thanks.

182
00:12:43.096 --> 00:12:44.643
James?

183
00:12:47.225 --> 00:12:49.694
Sorry.

184
00:12:52.021 --> 00:12:53.989
JAMES: Come on, lads!

185
00:12:56.651 --> 00:12:58.745
(DOOR CREAKS)

186
00:13:13.626 --> 00:13:15.674
TV: In its hunt for
the dwindling whale population,

187
00:13:15.837 --> 00:13:17.714
the commercial whaling fleet is heading

188
00:13:17.880 --> 00:13:19.848
to the Australian Antarctic territory...

189
00:13:20.008 --> 00:13:23.808
- They're out.
- Thanks.

190
00:13:23.970 --> 00:13:25.392
Really, thank you.

191
00:13:25.555 --> 00:13:27.022
TV: These ships have entered
the sanctuary...

192
00:13:27.098 --> 00:13:28.475
You know about this?

193
00:13:28.641 --> 00:13:30.018
However, there is no practical mechanism

194
00:13:30.184 --> 00:13:31.777
for the government to enforce that law,

195
00:13:31.936 --> 00:13:34.735
leaving the whales vulnerable to slaughter.

196
00:13:34.897 --> 00:13:38.902
The Minister for the Environment
regrets the situation, but...

197
00:13:39.068 --> 00:13:41.662
They called earlier.

198
00:13:41.821 --> 00:13:43.698
Are there protest boats?

199
00:13:47.076 --> 00:13:49.170
(SWANS)

200
00:13:50.955 --> 00:13:53.333
You're going with them, aren't you?

201
00:13:53.499 --> 00:13:56.753
(HELICOPTER WHIRRS)

202
00:14:00.757 --> 00:14:02.304
(GOAT BLEATS)

203
00:14:16.522 --> 00:14:18.820
Oh. I almost forgot.

204
00:14:20.151 --> 00:14:23.530
So we can see each other
while I'm away. It's a web-cam.

205
00:14:23.696 --> 00:14:26.950
PILOT: Better hurry up.
The ship's about to leave.

206
00:14:27.116 --> 00:14:29.118
Jimmy, don't be too brave, OK?

207
00:15:10.952 --> 00:15:13.000
James?

208
00:15:17.250 --> 00:15:19.252
Jimmy?

209
00:15:23.506 --> 00:15:25.554
Jimmy?

210
00:15:28.302 --> 00:15:30.304
I'm here.

211
00:15:34.434 --> 00:15:35.401
ELSPETH: Hi. Yes.

212
00:15:35.560 --> 00:15:38.564
I'm just trying to work out
whether I'm doing something wrong

213
00:15:38.729 --> 00:15:42.575
or the ship is actually out of contact.

214
00:15:42.733 --> 00:15:44.110
Oh, I see.

215
00:15:44.277 --> 00:15:47.201
Well...
I'll keep trying anyway.

216
00:15:50.616 --> 00:15:52.539
Jimmy.

217
00:15:54.829 --> 00:15:56.046
Jimmy?

218
00:16:01.127 --> 00:16:03.175
I'm here!

219
00:16:07.258 --> 00:16:08.805
I am here.

220
00:16:18.144 --> 00:16:20.988
Zack! Fred! Nap time!

221
00:16:22.982 --> 00:16:26.111
(HUMS)

222
00:16:39.540 --> 00:16:41.383
Right.

223
00:16:47.840 --> 00:16:49.934
Set up streaming in a few minutes.

224
00:16:50.092 --> 00:16:52.220
Start building your audience.

225
00:16:59.101 --> 00:17:00.774
Bollocks.

226
00:17:12.532 --> 00:17:14.705
Oh, my God! I'm on!

227
00:17:17.328 --> 00:17:19.251
(GIGGLES) I'm on!

228
00:17:19.413 --> 00:17:22.132
(BOTTLES CLINK)

229
00:17:23.543 --> 00:17:25.671
(SINGS)
♪ Welcome to my kitchen sink

230
00:17:26.754 --> 00:17:28.848
♪ This is where I stop and think

231
00:17:30.341 --> 00:17:32.514
♪ Where I'm sometimes on the brink

232
00:17:33.636 --> 00:17:35.764
♪ Of madness

233
00:17:37.098 --> 00:17:39.977
♪ Welcome to my washing-up

234
00:17:40.142 --> 00:17:43.521
♪ My 40,000th coffee cup

235
00:17:43.646 --> 00:17:46.775
♪ A place that knows my every sulk

236
00:17:46.941 --> 00:17:50.445
♪ And sadness

237
00:17:50.611 --> 00:17:52.204
♪ Here I'm stuck night after night

238
00:17:52.363 --> 00:17:53.865
♪ Here I plot revenge and flight

239
00:17:54.031 --> 00:17:58.878
♪ Here's the scene of wifely compromise

240
00:17:59.036 --> 00:18:02.131
♪ Pine O Cleen and Lemon Gleam

241
00:18:02.290 --> 00:18:05.544
♪ The kitchen sink is where I dream

242
00:18:05.710 --> 00:18:12.685
♪ And where I fantastic. ♪

243
00:18:14.885 --> 00:18:16.683
Hello.

244
00:18:16.846 --> 00:18:18.314
My husband gave me this web-cam

245
00:18:18.472 --> 00:18:20.440
so that I could communicate with him,

246
00:18:20.600 --> 00:18:22.273
but he's not there.

247
00:18:22.435 --> 00:18:24.858
So I've decided to talk to you instead.

248
00:18:25.021 --> 00:18:27.991
Well, sing, actually.

249
00:18:28.149 --> 00:18:30.493
Hang on.
I'll go see if you're there.

250
00:18:37.950 --> 00:18:40.123
(SIGHS) You're not there.

251
00:18:40.286 --> 00:18:42.209
I'm talking to myself again.

252
00:18:42.371 --> 00:18:44.214
(BOYS CALL OUT)

253
00:18:51.797 --> 00:18:53.299
WOMAN: He was standing
in front of me

254
00:18:53.466 --> 00:18:54.843
with this deadly serious face

255
00:18:55.009 --> 00:18:56.761
and he absolutely looked like his father.

256
00:18:58.095 --> 00:19:00.939
So I said to him in my best serious mother voice,

257
00:19:01.098 --> 00:19:04.022
"Well, darling, that's because
Sophie doesn't have testicles!"

258
00:19:04.185 --> 00:19:05.732
ELSPETH: Sorry! My ball.

259
00:19:07.396 --> 00:19:10.275
- So, what did he say?
- I dropped my ball.

260
00:19:14.111 --> 00:19:15.579
Sorry, finish your story.

261
00:19:15.738 --> 00:19:18.116
Um, and he said,

262
00:19:18.282 --> 00:19:19.829
"But why doesn't Sophie have testicles, Mummy?

263
00:19:19.992 --> 00:19:21.539
"Did they fall off?"

264
00:19:21.702 --> 00:19:24.546
(ALL LAUGH)

265
00:19:25.956 --> 00:19:27.833
(LAUGHS ALONE)

266
00:19:28.000 --> 00:19:30.173
Did you need something?

267
00:19:30.336 --> 00:19:31.804
Um...

268
00:19:31.962 --> 00:19:33.635
Mind if I join you?

269
00:19:33.798 --> 00:19:36.176
WOMEN: Uh...

270
00:19:38.761 --> 00:19:40.729
- Um, yeah, sure.
- Sit down.

271
00:19:40.888 --> 00:19:42.310
Look, I'm new here,

272
00:19:42.473 --> 00:19:45.898
and to be perfectly honest, I'm going a bit loopy.

273
00:19:46.060 --> 00:19:48.859
It's not as wonderful as everyone makes out, is it?

274
00:19:49.021 --> 00:19:50.398
Being a mother.

275
00:19:50.564 --> 00:19:51.941
Sometimes you just want to slap 'em

276
00:19:52.108 --> 00:19:53.610
into the middle of next week, don't you?

277
00:19:53.776 --> 00:19:57.076
You have something on your top.
I think it's banana.

278
00:19:57.238 --> 00:20:00.082
- I would never hit my children.
- No, no...

279
00:20:00.241 --> 00:20:02.164
No, you idiot.
She didn't mean literally.

280
00:20:02.326 --> 00:20:04.203
You know, I bought bananas at the organic market.

281
00:20:04.370 --> 00:20:05.747
They're not cheap.

282
00:20:05.913 --> 00:20:07.290
But they're good for the planet

283
00:20:07.456 --> 00:20:08.833
and they're not gonna give you cancer.

284
00:20:08.999 --> 00:20:10.999
Have you heard about putting
plastic bottles in your freezer?

285
00:20:11.085 --> 00:20:12.883
Apparently, you get instant cancer.

286
00:20:13.045 --> 00:20:14.888
- Are these antibacterial?
- Yeah, of course.

287
00:20:15.047 --> 00:20:16.924
Otherwise, you're just transferring the germs.

288
00:20:17.091 --> 00:20:19.435
Um, was that you the other day at the supermarket?

289
00:20:19.593 --> 00:20:24.474
- With the twins.
- No. I don't think so.

290
00:20:24.640 --> 00:20:28.190
Oh! Oh, those kids
were out of control!

291
00:20:28.352 --> 00:20:31.196
- Out of control.
- Out of control. -Out of control.

292
00:20:40.030 --> 00:20:42.249
(WOMEN SING)
♪ Do you let them watch TV

293
00:20:42.408 --> 00:20:43.785
♪ And feed them chips and cake for tea?

294
00:20:43.951 --> 00:20:48.252
♪ Or do you give them salad for supper?

295
00:20:48.414 --> 00:20:50.508
♪ Once a week, I serve 'em pizza

296
00:20:50.666 --> 00:20:52.293
♪ From the freezer frozen treats

297
00:20:52.460 --> 00:20:55.839
♪ I'm a bad, bad mother

298
00:20:56.005 --> 00:21:00.681
♪ Mama walks the shores of Devon

299
00:21:00.843 --> 00:21:02.311
♪ My shoe size is five

300
00:21:02.470 --> 00:21:04.598
♪ And she wears seven

301
00:21:04.764 --> 00:21:08.439
♪ I'm just a lonely cowgirl with the blues

302
00:21:08.601 --> 00:21:13.198
♪ With an aching need to fill my mama's shoes

303
00:21:16.984 --> 00:21:19.112
WOMEN: ♪ Do they play
the violin yet?

304
00:21:19.278 --> 00:21:21.406
♪ Do they run the minute mile yet?

305
00:21:21.572 --> 00:21:23.995
♪ Are they much more gifted than the others?

306
00:21:24.158 --> 00:21:25.080
♪ Whoo!

307
00:21:25.242 --> 00:21:27.290
I They just like to play the fool

308
00:21:27.453 --> 00:21:29.205
♪ And run around in a circle

309
00:21:29.371 --> 00:21:32.500
♪ I'm a bad, bad, bad, bad, bad mother

310
00:21:33.584 --> 00:21:37.464
I Do your babies read and write?

311
00:21:37.630 --> 00:21:41.635
♪ Do they sleep sound at night?

312
00:21:41.801 --> 00:21:45.146
♪ Do they play in the fresh air?

313
00:21:45.304 --> 00:21:50.105
♪ And if they don't,
do you really care? ♪

314
00:21:50.267 --> 00:21:51.644
(BABIES CRY)

315
00:21:51.811 --> 00:21:54.530
- ♪ Whoo!
- ♪ Aaaah!

316
00:21:54.688 --> 00:21:56.611
♪ Whoo-hoo!

317
00:21:56.774 --> 00:22:00.278
- ♪ Whoo-hoo!
- ♪ Whoo!

318
00:22:03.531 --> 00:22:06.034
♪ Whoo-hoo!

319
00:22:10.704 --> 00:22:17.929
♪ My mama walks the hills of heaven

320
00:22:18.087 --> 00:22:20.761
♪ My shoe size is five

321
00:22:20.923 --> 00:22:23.972
♪ And she wore seven

322
00:22:24.134 --> 00:22:27.729
♪ I'm just a lonely cowgirl

323
00:22:27.888 --> 00:22:31.108
- ♪ With the blues
- ♪ Mama's shoes

324
00:22:31.267 --> 00:22:33.611
♪ With an aching need

325
00:22:33.769 --> 00:22:37.899
♪ To fill my mama's

326
00:22:38.065 --> 00:22:39.665
♪ Shoes

327
00:22:45.447 --> 00:22:50.954
♪ Oh, mama's shoes

328
00:22:51.120 --> 00:22:51.996
♪ Whoo!

329
00:22:52.162 --> 00:22:55.416
- ♪ Hey-hey, hey-hey
- ♪ Hills of heaven

330
00:22:55.583 --> 00:22:59.554
- I Hoo-hoo-hoo
- ♪ Hills of heaven... ♪

331
00:23:00.921 --> 00:23:02.764
Thank you.
Thank you very much.

332
00:23:03.799 --> 00:23:06.973
Oh, I feel much better now
that I've shared that with you.

333
00:23:07.136 --> 00:23:09.810
I'd feel even better if I knew you were watching.

334
00:23:09.972 --> 00:23:11.690
So please log on.

335
00:23:11.849 --> 00:23:13.522
Let me know what you think.

336
00:23:29.825 --> 00:23:31.919
(RINGS BICYCLE BELL)

337
00:23:35.831 --> 00:23:39.085
- (BOYS SQUEAL)
- ELSPETH: Oh! Hang on!

338
00:23:41.587 --> 00:23:43.464
- Hi.
- Hi.

339
00:23:43.631 --> 00:23:45.133
I'm Neil.

340
00:23:46.216 --> 00:23:47.843
I'm Neil from CCI.

341
00:23:49.011 --> 00:23:50.854
Computer Care International.

342
00:23:51.013 --> 00:23:53.232
Oh, I thought you worked at the supermarket.

343
00:23:53.390 --> 00:23:55.438
I do.

344
00:23:55.601 --> 00:23:58.275
Right. Well, come on in.

345
00:24:01.440 --> 00:24:04.740
Uh, you need some keywords for the search engines

346
00:24:04.902 --> 00:24:06.870
so people can find you.

347
00:24:07.029 --> 00:24:11.125
Like 'singer' or, you know, 'singing songs'.

348
00:24:11.283 --> 00:24:14.082
- Ooh! 'Sink songs'.
- 'Sing songs'?

349
00:24:14.244 --> 00:24:16.667
No, 'sink songs'.

350
00:24:16.830 --> 00:24:20.175
Oh, I get it. 'Sink songs'.

351
00:24:20.334 --> 00:24:22.678
- Mmm.
- Oh, OK. Yeah.

352
00:24:22.836 --> 00:24:27.091
- Anything else?
- (BOYS GIGGLE AND SCREAM)

353
00:24:32.972 --> 00:24:35.350
(BOYS CLANG POTS)

354
00:24:39.853 --> 00:24:43.448
Um, other keywords.

355
00:24:43.607 --> 00:24:45.735
'Desperate housewife'.

356
00:24:45.901 --> 00:24:49.326
'Songs from kitchen'.

357
00:24:49.488 --> 00:24:52.492
'Domestic prisoner's musical breakout'.

358
00:24:52.658 --> 00:24:54.581
I don't know, Neil.
Any suggestions?

359
00:24:54.743 --> 00:24:57.087
<i>No, no, no, no,
th-that's great, yeah.</i>

360
00:24:57.246 --> 00:25:00.671
Uh, um... You can have,
like, a ring tone thing too.

361
00:25:00.833 --> 00:25:02.426
For what?

362
00:25:02.584 --> 00:25:04.882
To let you know when people are logging on.

363
00:25:05.045 --> 00:25:07.389
So each time someone logs on, you hear...

364
00:25:07.548 --> 00:25:09.016
(DUCK QUACKS)

365
00:25:09.174 --> 00:25:10.551
Quack-quack.

366
00:25:10.718 --> 00:25:13.892
- (HORSE NEIGHS)
- Neigh!

367
00:25:14.054 --> 00:25:17.558
But there's a lot to choose from.

368
00:25:17.725 --> 00:25:20.649
- (PIG OINKS)
- Or you could make your own.

369
00:25:20.811 --> 00:25:22.984
Oh, I think animal sounds are brilliant.

370
00:25:23.147 --> 00:25:26.526
I've got your cam stream now linked up with YouTube

371
00:25:26.692 --> 00:25:28.365
and Facebook and MySpace.

372
00:25:28.527 --> 00:25:30.495
That's great. That's wonderful.

373
00:25:30.654 --> 00:25:35.581
- How much do I owe you?
- No, no. Nothing. It's...

374
00:25:35.743 --> 00:25:37.837
It's free for you.

375
00:25:37.995 --> 00:25:40.464
Uh, I mean, there's a special on.

376
00:25:40.622 --> 00:25:43.045
- F-first visit is free.
- Oh.

377
00:25:43.208 --> 00:25:44.585
No charge.

378
00:25:44.752 --> 00:25:46.129
What about Computer Care International?

379
00:25:46.295 --> 00:25:47.842
Won't they be cross?

380
00:25:48.005 --> 00:25:52.727
Oh, um... They are me.
I am it. I am...

381
00:25:52.885 --> 00:25:56.515
- (ANIMAL NOISES PLAY)
- ..Computer Care International.

382
00:25:58.807 --> 00:26:00.809
(SOFTLY) Careful, darling.

383
00:26:02.019 --> 00:26:05.319
- (CRIES)
- Oh, darling. Come here.

384
00:26:05.481 --> 00:26:07.984
Come here.

385
00:26:09.318 --> 00:26:12.037
Shh, shh, shh.

386
00:26:12.196 --> 00:26:14.198
(SINGS)
♪ If you didn't do what you wanted to

387
00:26:14.364 --> 00:26:17.959
♪ If you only did what everybody told you

388
00:26:18.118 --> 00:26:20.337
♪ Who would you be?

389
00:26:21.663 --> 00:26:24.382
♪ You will always try
♪ You will always fly

390
00:26:24.541 --> 00:26:27.715
♪ You will always look a tiger in the eye

391
00:26:27.878 --> 00:26:31.348
♪ Take it from me

392
00:26:31.507 --> 00:26:33.930
<i>I</i> I see in your eyes

393
00:26:34.093 --> 00:26:36.471
♪ There's a movie of dreams

394
00:26:36.637 --> 00:26:39.481
♪ See there is more to you

395
00:26:39.640 --> 00:26:41.768
♪ Than it first seems

396
00:26:41.934 --> 00:26:44.028
♪ See you are brighter

397
00:26:44.186 --> 00:26:46.814
♪ Than all the moonbeams

398
00:26:46.980 --> 00:26:49.153
♪ You know

399
00:26:50.818 --> 00:26:55.699
♪ For you light up the darkness
♪ You glow

400
00:26:55.864 --> 00:26:59.744
I Don't give up Don't give in

401
00:26:59.910 --> 00:27:03.540
♪ Don't let go. ♪

402
00:27:07.084 --> 00:27:09.178
(HORSE NEIGHS)

403
00:27:16.093 --> 00:27:18.141
(DUCK QUACKS)

404
00:27:22.224 --> 00:27:24.147
(COW MOOS)

405
00:27:24.309 --> 00:27:26.937
(ROOSTER CROWS)

406
00:27:34.027 --> 00:27:36.576
(SINGS)
♪ Welcome to my kitchen sink

407
00:27:37.656 --> 00:27:40.500
♪ This is where I stop and think

408
00:27:40.659 --> 00:27:44.084
♪ Where I'm sometimes on the brink

409
00:27:44.246 --> 00:27:46.795
♪ Of madness... ♪

410
00:27:46.957 --> 00:27:50.086
(ANIMAL NOISES PLAY)

411
00:28:20.199 --> 00:28:22.293
- What is that?
- A mate sent me the link.

412
00:28:22.451 --> 00:28:24.453
It's supposed to be some girl down in Tasmania.

413
00:28:24.620 --> 00:28:26.793
WOMAN: On a platter!

414
00:28:26.955 --> 00:28:29.504
- Here it comes.
- Cross as a frog in a sock.

415
00:28:29.666 --> 00:28:31.885
If we don't find a goddess by Friday,

416
00:28:32.044 --> 00:28:33.796
they're going to pull the account.

417
00:28:37.799 --> 00:28:41.144
And if they pull the account, we'll be letting people go.

418
00:28:46.934 --> 00:28:49.028
(HUMS CHEERFULLY)

419
00:28:57.027 --> 00:29:00.327
Thanks for waiting.
I was just putting my boys down.

420
00:29:00.489 --> 00:29:03.163
You know, staying at home with the kids can be great.

421
00:29:03.325 --> 00:29:05.202
Really special.

422
00:29:05.369 --> 00:29:07.622
Not that I'd ever take any of it back.

423
00:29:07.788 --> 00:29:10.086
But do you ever wonder

424
00:29:10.249 --> 00:29:12.297
what other lives you might have lived?

425
00:29:12.459 --> 00:29:17.932
Do you ever suddenly have the urge to be someone else?

426
00:29:18.090 --> 00:29:20.218
Do you ever think...

427
00:29:20.384 --> 00:29:22.603
(SINGS) ♪ I have an itch

428
00:29:24.179 --> 00:29:28.275
♪ To be a corporate bitch

429
00:29:28.433 --> 00:29:32.233
♪ In a suit with stockings and high, high heels

430
00:29:32.396 --> 00:29:35.741
♪ On my long, long legs

431
00:29:35.899 --> 00:29:38.698
I You know I'd hire

432
00:29:39.820 --> 00:29:44.621
♪ Then again, I'd also fire

433
00:29:44.783 --> 00:29:48.333
♪ Anyone who under performs

434
00:29:48.495 --> 00:29:50.714
♪ Or was plainly the dregs

435
00:29:52.708 --> 00:29:54.802
♪ I'd jog into work at six

436
00:29:54.960 --> 00:29:56.712
♪ 'Cause that's how I'd get my kicks

437
00:29:56.878 --> 00:30:00.724
♪ Macchiato in my suite
♪ 'Cause I take my coffee neat

438
00:30:00.882 --> 00:30:04.682
♪ The only boys I would employ
would be hunky, hot and toy

439
00:30:04.845 --> 00:30:10.523
♪ So that I can just harass their tight little arses

440
00:30:10.684 --> 00:30:14.985
♪ I wanna be a mover, a shaker

441
00:30:15.147 --> 00:30:18.492
♪ A fashionista ballbreaker

442
00:30:18.650 --> 00:30:22.780
♪ I wanna be a CEO queen

443
00:30:22.946 --> 00:30:25.495
♪ I wanna rock the private investment scene

444
00:30:25.657 --> 00:30:28.080
♪ So that their deal

445
00:30:28.243 --> 00:30:32.089
♪ Would need my corporate bitch seal

446
00:30:34.541 --> 00:30:41.049
♪ I have an itch to be a rich kitsch bitch

447
00:30:41.214 --> 00:30:44.559
♪ Manicure and massage à la plage

448
00:30:44.718 --> 00:30:48.313
♪ Followed by
a painless Brazilian... ♪

449
00:30:48.472 --> 00:30:50.270
It's that girl from the park!

450
00:30:50.432 --> 00:30:53.936
♪ Andy Warhol on my wall tells me I could have it all

451
00:30:54.102 --> 00:30:57.151
♪ I would like to bankrupt you
and still have a kid or two

452
00:30:57.314 --> 00:31:01.865
♪ I'd take a week from work so that I could carry them

453
00:31:02.027 --> 00:31:04.951
♪ And if they didn't arrive on time

454
00:31:05.113 --> 00:31:07.707
I It's a caesarean

455
00:31:07.866 --> 00:31:11.916
♪ I wanna be a mover, a shaker

456
00:31:12.079 --> 00:31:15.629
♪ A fashionista ballbreaker

457
00:31:15.791 --> 00:31:19.341
♪ I wanna be a CEO queen

458
00:31:19.503 --> 00:31:22.177
♪ I wanna rock the scene

459
00:31:22.339 --> 00:31:24.512
♪ The paparazzi will take pictures

460
00:31:26.259 --> 00:31:28.353
♪ Of my dynasty of bitches

461
00:31:31.556 --> 00:31:33.399
I I have an itch

462
00:31:34.518 --> 00:31:37.067
♪ To be ruthless in my pitch

463
00:31:37.229 --> 00:31:41.905
♪ To be a system-bucking
eyebrow-plucking

464
00:31:42.067 --> 00:31:44.240
♪ Tantrum-chucking
corporate bitch! ♪

465
00:31:54.663 --> 00:31:56.210
Cassandra?

466
00:32:01.962 --> 00:32:04.090
Sure.

467
00:32:04.256 --> 00:32:06.133
No problem.

468
00:32:07.217 --> 00:32:08.764
<i>'Bye.</i>

469
00:32:12.556 --> 00:32:14.900
(SCREAMS IN DELIGHT)

470
00:32:21.815 --> 00:32:23.283
<i>BOTH'. Yaw!</i>

471
00:32:25.861 --> 00:32:29.411
CASSANDRA:
It's a computer, a laptop,

472
00:32:29.573 --> 00:32:31.667
pitched specifically at the female market,

473
00:32:31.825 --> 00:32:35.295
and I need someone
who embodies today's woman -

474
00:32:35.454 --> 00:32:38.628
mother, lover, artist,

475
00:32:38.790 --> 00:32:40.417
corporate bitch.

476
00:32:40.584 --> 00:32:42.712
We want to see all these facets.

477
00:32:42.878 --> 00:32:46.849
And I have flown all the way down from Sydney today

478
00:32:47.007 --> 00:32:50.136
because I think you'd be perfect.

479
00:32:50.302 --> 00:32:54.227
We want to use all your songs, the whole web cam thing.

480
00:32:56.558 --> 00:32:57.480
Naughty!

481
00:32:57.642 --> 00:33:01.067
- Zack!
- (SQUEALS, GIGGLES)

482
00:33:01.188 --> 00:33:02.861
No!

483
00:33:06.776 --> 00:33:08.824
- (TOILET FLUSHES)
- Yeah!

484
00:33:17.913 --> 00:33:21.042
Um... Was it
a very expensive phone?

485
00:33:21.208 --> 00:33:22.300
Oh...!

486
00:33:34.554 --> 00:33:36.022
He's out of contact.

487
00:33:36.181 --> 00:33:39.151
I don't know when he'll be
in contact, so I had to say no.

488
00:33:39.309 --> 00:33:42.529
I think he'd want you to take this opportunity, Elspeth.

489
00:33:42.687 --> 00:33:46.237
If we were part... partners,

490
00:33:46.399 --> 00:33:48.322
I know I would.

491
00:33:48.485 --> 00:33:51.614
I think you should call that lady back and say yes.

492
00:33:51.780 --> 00:33:54.499
Oh, Neil, that's so sweet.

493
00:33:54.658 --> 00:33:59.505
But even practically speaking,
what do I do with the kids, eh?

494
00:33:59.663 --> 00:34:02.792
What do I do with you two for three days?

495
00:34:02.958 --> 00:34:04.631
Well, I trained as a paediatric nurse,

496
00:34:04.793 --> 00:34:07.592
but quite frankly, I just think the most important thing

497
00:34:07.754 --> 00:34:10.257
is that I click with the litlies.

498
00:34:10.423 --> 00:34:12.721
- BOYS: Click!
- Click!

499
00:34:12.884 --> 00:34:14.306
(SEAT BELT CLICKS)

500
00:34:21.726 --> 00:34:25.151
TV: In breaking news,
heartless career woman

501
00:34:25.313 --> 00:34:28.988
abandons helpless twins in pursuit of fame and fortune.

502
00:34:29.150 --> 00:34:32.780
Nakedly ambitious singer realises error of ways

503
00:34:32.946 --> 00:34:35.495
as plane plummets into Pacific.

504
00:34:35.657 --> 00:34:38.877
Environmentally friendly husband marries marine mammal

505
00:34:39.035 --> 00:34:42.960
and selfish, selfish woman gets what she deserves.

506
00:34:43.123 --> 00:34:45.217
(DOLPHIN CHITTERS)

507
00:34:45.375 --> 00:34:46.672
Coffee?

508
00:34:46.835 --> 00:34:50.009
- Uh-uh-uh.
- Mm-hm! Hmm.

509
00:35:13.528 --> 00:35:15.701
- Ahhhh!
- Ohhh!

510
00:35:15.864 --> 00:35:20.791
You clear off! The police
are on their way! Clear off!

511
00:35:20.952 --> 00:35:24.047
My... my husband's inside,
and... and he's got a gun!

512
00:35:24.205 --> 00:35:26.549
Who the hell are you?
Where's Elspeth?

513
00:36:00.825 --> 00:36:02.202
MAN: Welcome to
Hotel Sydney, ma'am.

514
00:36:02.369 --> 00:36:03.916
Thank you.

515
00:36:05.121 --> 00:36:07.590
Whoop... Whoops.
(GIGGLES)

516
00:36:09.292 --> 00:36:10.919
Watch where you're going, lady!

517
00:36:11.086 --> 00:36:12.633
Hang on a second.

518
00:36:14.547 --> 00:36:16.800
Round again. Hello!

519
00:36:22.138 --> 00:36:25.108
'Elspeth! A . h, .d - Oh! g ay'

520
00:36:25.266 --> 00:36:28.190
- Um, I'm Ralph.
- Hi. I'm Elspeth.

521
00:36:28.353 --> 00:36:30.526
Hi.

522
00:36:30.689 --> 00:36:32.612
- These are for you.
- Oh, thank you.

523
00:36:32.774 --> 00:36:34.321
- Oh.
- Oh.

524
00:36:38.154 --> 00:36:40.577
I'll get... Ah!

525
00:36:43.284 --> 00:36:44.911
You get... You...

526
00:36:45.078 --> 00:36:47.627
Ah! Yeah.

527
00:36:47.789 --> 00:36:53.046
I'm gonna get your bag and we'll go this way.

528
00:36:53.211 --> 00:36:55.714
And this is your room.

529
00:37:07.809 --> 00:37:11.689
- It's a terrible view, hey?
- Whoa!

530
00:37:18.319 --> 00:37:20.162
And this is to keep you famous.

531
00:37:20.321 --> 00:37:21.868
You can broadcast whenever you like.

532
00:37:24.159 --> 00:37:27.038
(SINGS) ♪ I have an itch... ♪
(HUMS)

533
00:37:27.203 --> 00:37:29.376
Hey, whoa! What are you doing?
You're not putting me on.

534
00:37:29.539 --> 00:37:31.337
I'm just checking my web cam back home.

535
00:37:31.499 --> 00:37:33.342
I've hidden it in a pot plant.

536
00:37:33.501 --> 00:37:35.378
You've hidden it?

537
00:37:35.545 --> 00:37:37.218
Yeah - I've turned it
into a nanny cam

538
00:37:37.380 --> 00:37:39.724
to keep an eye on things.

539
00:37:39.883 --> 00:37:43.808
Elspeth Dickens, 007.

540
00:37:45.805 --> 00:37:49.309
- (POTS CLANG)
- Ooh! That's a big noise.

541
00:37:49.476 --> 00:37:51.023
ELSPETH: There's my boys.

542
00:37:54.606 --> 00:37:57.075
This should help with the pain, Mr Dickens.

543
00:37:57.233 --> 00:37:58.780
Oh, thanks.

544
00:38:00.779 --> 00:38:02.827
I'm so terribly sorry.

545
00:38:02.989 --> 00:38:05.663
That's alright, Mary.
I'm sorry about the swearing.

546
00:38:05.825 --> 00:38:07.327
Oh, I should have realised who you were,

547
00:38:07.494 --> 00:38:09.246
but Mrs Dickens said you were out of contact...

548
00:38:09.412 --> 00:38:11.540
- No, no. It's fine.
- (BOYS SQUEAL)

549
00:38:11.706 --> 00:38:14.630
Would you like me to take them out for a bit of a walk

550
00:38:14.793 --> 00:38:16.420
so you can have a rest?

551
00:38:16.586 --> 00:38:17.963
Thanks, but...

552
00:38:18.129 --> 00:38:19.255
Would you like something to eat?

553
00:38:19.422 --> 00:38:21.971
Mary, what I'd really like

554
00:38:22.133 --> 00:38:24.352
is to spend some time with the kids on my own.

555
00:38:24.511 --> 00:38:26.639
Here.

556
00:38:30.725 --> 00:38:34.355
(SINGS) ♪ Oh, mama-mama-mama
mama-mama-mama-maria

557
00:38:35.897 --> 00:38:39.151
♪ Oh-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-Ii-aa

558
00:38:41.653 --> 00:38:43.872
♪ Gimme a hotel
♪ Gimme a motel

559
00:38:44.030 --> 00:38:45.907
♪ Gimme a vacancy

560
00:38:46.074 --> 00:38:48.543
♪ Gimme the space now, out of my face now

561
00:38:48.701 --> 00:38:50.203
♪ Do not disturb me

562
00:38:50.370 --> 00:38:55.251
♪ I'm ripping off my collar
♪ I'm gonna howl and holler

563
00:38:55.416 --> 00:38:57.544
♪ I'm gonna have a pillow fight

564
00:38:57.710 --> 00:39:02.807
♪ I'm gonna dance the whole damn night

565
00:39:02.966 --> 00:39:07.847
- ♪ I love a private party
- ♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah

566
00:39:08.012 --> 00:39:12.688
- ♪ Nobody's invited
- ♪ No, no, no

567
00:39:12.851 --> 00:39:15.479
♪ 'Cause that's what I decided

568
00:39:15.645 --> 00:39:17.943
♪ And what the lady wants, the lady's gonna get, yeah

569
00:39:19.315 --> 00:39:21.488
♪ I've got the time to make me

570
00:39:21.651 --> 00:39:23.824
♪ So even I would take me

571
00:39:23.987 --> 00:39:25.989
♪ I think I'm gonna kiss me

572
00:39:26.155 --> 00:39:28.749
♪ I'll leave and then I'll miss me

573
00:39:28.908 --> 00:39:31.036
♪ I'm using all the shampoo

574
00:39:31.202 --> 00:39:33.330
♪ Because you told me not to

575
00:39:33.496 --> 00:39:35.749
I I might do things I've never done

576
00:39:35.915 --> 00:39:41.263
♪ I'm gonna take the towels and run, hey

577
00:39:41.421 --> 00:39:46.097
<i>I</i> I love a private party

578
00:39:46.259 --> 00:39:50.230
♪ Nobody's invited

579
00:39:50.388 --> 00:39:53.437
♪ 'Cause that's what I decided

580
00:39:53.600 --> 00:39:57.150
♪ And what the lady wants, the lady's gonna get, yeah

581
00:39:57.312 --> 00:39:59.531
♪ I'm gonna raid the bar fridge

582
00:39:59.689 --> 00:40:01.817
♪ I'm gonna hog the bed now

583
00:40:01.983 --> 00:40:04.281
♪ I'm gonna play my music

584
00:40:04.444 --> 00:40:06.697
♪ I'm gonna play it loud now

585
00:40:06.863 --> 00:40:09.332
♪ Mama-mama-mama-
mama-mama-mama-maria

586
00:40:11.034 --> 00:40:15.665
♪ Oh-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-ia

587
00:40:15.830 --> 00:40:23.214
♪ And I love a private party

588
00:40:23.379 --> 00:40:28.306
♪ Nobody's invited

589
00:40:28.468 --> 00:40:33.520
♪ I'm turning down the lighting

590
00:40:33.681 --> 00:40:38.061
- ♪ It could get quite exciting
- ♪ Lady, get what you want

591
00:40:38.227 --> 00:40:41.606
♪ I'm turning out
the lights now. ♪

592
00:40:43.358 --> 00:40:45.736
Gerald would have a fit if I carried on like that.

593
00:40:45.902 --> 00:40:47.904
Gerald would have a fit if you farted without permission.

594
00:40:48.071 --> 00:40:50.870
Well, at least she's trying
to do something with her life.

595
00:40:51.032 --> 00:40:53.080
At least she's trying.

596
00:40:53.242 --> 00:40:56.416
Oh, for heaven's sake,
will someone get this woman to bed?

597
00:40:56.579 --> 00:40:57.876
Helen, can she use the spare room?

598
00:40:58.039 --> 00:40:59.791
No, no, I'm not tired.

599
00:40:59.958 --> 00:41:01.301
I'm pregnant.

600
00:41:01.459 --> 00:41:03.803
- Oh, no.
- Oh.

601
00:41:03.962 --> 00:41:05.964
Sorry.

602
00:41:07.215 --> 00:41:08.808
ANSWERING MACHINE:
Hi, Mary. It's Elspeth.

603
00:41:08.967 --> 00:41:11.766
I'm just checking in to see
how you and the boys are doing.

604
00:41:11.928 --> 00:41:15.023
Um, give me a buzz back
when you get this message. Thanks.

605
00:41:25.942 --> 00:41:28.036
- Ready?
- (LAUGHS NERVOUSLY)

606
00:41:29.153 --> 00:41:31.497
- Alright.
- Yeah?

607
00:41:33.992 --> 00:41:35.960
Wait!

608
00:41:48.006 --> 00:41:49.929
Enter.

609
00:41:51.926 --> 00:41:55.556
Well! You look
all shiny and new.

610
00:41:55.722 --> 00:41:57.941
Eight hours sleep without a single
toddler finger up your nostril

611
00:41:58.099 --> 00:42:00.773
will do that for you.

612
00:42:00.935 --> 00:42:02.903
Thanks for having me.

613
00:42:03.062 --> 00:42:06.692
I just can't believe it.
It's a dream.

614
00:42:06.858 --> 00:42:09.031
Ralph, fetch the Goddess.

615
00:42:19.912 --> 00:42:22.335
- Tada.
- I love it.

616
00:42:22.498 --> 00:42:24.592
It's beautiful.

617
00:42:24.751 --> 00:42:26.719
Goddess.

618
00:42:26.878 --> 00:42:28.926
For all the women you are.

619
00:42:29.088 --> 00:42:31.511
Is that a line from the ad?

620
00:42:31.674 --> 00:42:34.427
That's THE line.
My line, actually.

621
00:42:34.594 --> 00:42:38.064
And strictly speaking, it's not an ad, it's a webisode.

622
00:42:38.222 --> 00:42:39.815
A series of webisodes.

623
00:42:39.974 --> 00:42:43.774
So the idea is, right, to post a whole bunch of clips

624
00:42:43.936 --> 00:42:45.313
of you singing on the Net,

625
00:42:45.480 --> 00:42:46.902
and in each clip, you'll play

626
00:42:47.065 --> 00:42:49.238
one of these different characters.

627
00:42:49.400 --> 00:42:51.653
And then you'll use your Goddess computer

628
00:42:51.819 --> 00:42:53.742
to solve any little problems that might arise.

629
00:42:53.905 --> 00:42:55.999
Have you had a chance to read the scripts yet?

630
00:42:56.157 --> 00:42:59.411
- Great.
- Big day tomorrow.

631
00:42:59.577 --> 00:43:02.877
- Are you ready?
- Mm-hm.

632
00:43:03.956 --> 00:43:05.958
(PHONE RINGS)

633
00:43:09.921 --> 00:43:11.639
(PHONE RINGS)

634
00:43:13.966 --> 00:43:15.934
- Hello?
- Oh, hi!

635
00:43:16.094 --> 00:43:17.812
Hey.

636
00:43:17.970 --> 00:43:21.850
- So, you got a gig.
- Yeah.

637
00:43:22.016 --> 00:43:25.270
It's a Web thing.
Son of ads but on the Net.

638
00:43:25.436 --> 00:43:27.780
- So you're back.
- Yep. Yep.

639
00:43:27.939 --> 00:43:29.657
I left a million messages for you,

640
00:43:29.816 --> 00:43:31.489
but you weren't there, and I thought,

641
00:43:31.651 --> 00:43:33.904
"He wouldn't want me to miss
an opportunity like this."

642
00:43:34.070 --> 00:43:35.788
So I took the plunge.

643
00:43:35.947 --> 00:43:37.745
Have you met Mary?
Isn't she great?

644
00:43:37.907 --> 00:43:40.376
JAMES: Um...

645
00:43:40.535 --> 00:43:42.537
- Yeah.
- How are the whales?

646
00:43:42.703 --> 00:43:45.297
- How did it go?
- Fine. Good. It went well.

647
00:43:45.456 --> 00:43:46.833
Don't be angry with me, James.

648
00:43:46.999 --> 00:43:48.797
The opportunity came up and I took it.

649
00:43:48.960 --> 00:43:50.553
Fine.

650
00:43:50.711 --> 00:43:52.759
Don't say it's fine when you don't mean it.

651
00:43:52.922 --> 00:43:54.799
- I do mean it.
- No, you don't. You're angry.

652
00:43:54.966 --> 00:43:57.515
I'm not angry. I just wasn't
expecting you to be away.

653
00:43:57.677 --> 00:43:59.600
- Yeah, well, I am.
- Yeah, you are.

654
00:43:59.762 --> 00:44:01.890
When you're away, do I call up and pick fights with you?

655
00:44:02.056 --> 00:44:04.275
Picking fights?
I'm not the one picking fights!

656
00:44:04.433 --> 00:44:05.935
Why would you accuse me of picking fights

657
00:44:06.102 --> 00:44:07.820
when I'm thousands of miles away

658
00:44:07.979 --> 00:44:09.401
already feeling bad about doing something

659
00:44:09.564 --> 00:44:10.941
that's my perfect right to do?

660
00:44:11.107 --> 00:44:12.359
(BOTH sl<3l-l)

661
00:44:14.652 --> 00:44:16.780
(SINGS)
♪ Welcome to my kitchen sink

662
00:44:16.946 --> 00:44:19.119
♪ This is where
I think and think... ♪

663
00:44:19.282 --> 00:44:21.785
Sorry. Can I just
check the lyrics?

664
00:44:21.951 --> 00:44:25.797
Elspeth, this is your song.
You know the lyrics.

665
00:44:25.955 --> 00:44:27.878
I know, I know.

666
00:44:28.040 --> 00:44:31.761
- Do you want to take a minute?
- No, I'll get it right.

667
00:44:31.919 --> 00:44:33.045
MAN: Still rolling.

668
00:44:34.672 --> 00:44:36.925
♪ Welcome to my kitchen sink

669
00:44:37.091 --> 00:44:39.935
♪ This is where
I stop and think... ♪

670
00:44:40.094 --> 00:44:43.769
- Um, did geishas wash up?
- DIRECTOR: Cut!

671
00:44:43.931 --> 00:44:48.277
89.7% of all domestic cleaning
is performed by women,

672
00:44:48.436 --> 00:44:49.904
regardless of their profession.

673
00:44:50.062 --> 00:44:51.405
Is that true?

674
00:44:51.564 --> 00:44:54.989
I've absolutely no idea, darling,
but it feels true, doesn't it?

675
00:45:07.455 --> 00:45:08.832
Don't eat the props!

676
00:45:08.998 --> 00:45:10.841
Shit!

677
00:45:11.876 --> 00:45:13.048
(MUMBLES) Sorry.

678
00:45:14.879 --> 00:45:16.973
Changing lenses. Take five.

679
00:45:21.928 --> 00:45:23.930
I'm sorry. I've gone all fuzzy
round the edges.

680
00:45:24.096 --> 00:45:26.895
I've seen this a million times.

681
00:45:27.058 --> 00:45:29.902
You're terrified of succeeding so you sabotage yourself

682
00:45:30.061 --> 00:45:32.029
before you can be disappointed.

683
00:45:32.188 --> 00:45:34.282
Do you really think so?

684
00:45:34.440 --> 00:45:35.817
(KNOCK AT DOOR)

685
00:45:35.983 --> 00:45:37.985
We're ready.

686
00:45:39.070 --> 00:45:42.119
- What I think?
- (SQUEAKING)

687
00:45:42.281 --> 00:45:46.957
What I think is, you can do this.

688
00:45:47.119 --> 00:45:48.666
Mm-hm?

689
00:45:55.878 --> 00:45:58.472
Right. Come on, alien girl.

690
00:45:59.507 --> 00:46:01.930
- Eh?
- (LAUGHS)

691
00:46:02.093 --> 00:46:04.346
- What do you reckon?
- Handsome.

692
00:46:04.512 --> 00:46:06.560
Hey? I look like
a giant squid.

693
00:46:06.722 --> 00:46:08.941
Come on. Just a few more shots
and it's a wrap.

694
00:46:09.100 --> 00:46:12.821
And then it's drinkies
and a fancy-schmancy din-dins.

695
00:46:12.979 --> 00:46:15.778
- Oops! Where are we going?
- Oh, my head.

696
00:46:15.940 --> 00:46:17.783
It's just down here.
They're waiting.

697
00:46:17.942 --> 00:46:19.740
- No, for din-dins.
- Oh, for din-dins?

698
00:46:19.902 --> 00:46:23.497
- I think it's a sushi joint.
- I need the toilet.

699
00:46:29.912 --> 00:46:32.916
Thanks for the gig.
For all this.

700
00:46:33.082 --> 00:46:35.926
I'm having so much fun.

701
00:46:36.085 --> 00:46:39.430
I'm sorry about today.
I'm sorry if...

702
00:46:39.588 --> 00:46:42.432
Oh, sorry, schmorry.
You're doing brilliantly.

703
00:46:42.591 --> 00:46:46.846
And if I may make a prediction,
it's going to make you famous.

704
00:46:47.013 --> 00:46:49.766
- Really?
- M m-hm.

705
00:46:49.932 --> 00:46:52.355
Tell me about you.
Are you married?

706
00:46:52.518 --> 00:46:54.441
Jettisoned the husband, darling.

707
00:46:54.603 --> 00:46:56.276
When you're breaking through the glass ceiling,

708
00:46:56.439 --> 00:46:58.783
there are bound to be casualties.

709
00:46:58.941 --> 00:47:02.787
Well, angel, he could barely do
wee-wees standing up by himself.

710
00:47:02.945 --> 00:47:04.822
Honestly, no loss there.

711
00:47:04.989 --> 00:47:06.707
Any kids?

712
00:47:06.866 --> 00:47:08.914
No, no, never did the kid thing.

713
00:47:09.076 --> 00:47:10.828
Oh, look.

714
00:47:10.995 --> 00:47:13.089
Oh!

715
00:47:13.247 --> 00:47:16.000
WAITER: Here we have
a tower of lobster tail,

716
00:47:16.167 --> 00:47:18.886
fried quail egg topped with fresh Sydney rock oyster

717
00:47:19.045 --> 00:47:21.798
and an icing of crushed beluga caviar

718
00:47:21.964 --> 00:47:24.808
accompanied by sauce Choron.

719
00:47:24.967 --> 00:47:26.389
ELSPETH: Thank you.

720
00:47:27.678 --> 00:47:29.601
Ooh! Mmm!

721
00:47:29.764 --> 00:47:31.892
Mmm!

722
00:47:32.058 --> 00:47:35.187
- Elspeth!
- What?

723
00:47:35.353 --> 00:47:39.574
You just murdered an entire symphony of taste sensations.

724
00:47:39.732 --> 00:47:43.612
Sorry. Just so excited to eat
a meal I haven't cooked myself.

725
00:47:43.778 --> 00:47:45.746
- Here.
- Oh, no, it's yours.

726
00:47:45.905 --> 00:47:47.907
- Honestly, I'm not hungry.
- Oh, OK.

727
00:47:48.991 --> 00:47:52.245
Now, one more time with feeling.

728
00:47:53.287 --> 00:47:56.632
Savour the sluttish luxuriance of the oyster.

729
00:47:56.791 --> 00:48:00.136
Let the juices have their wicked way with you.

730
00:48:00.294 --> 00:48:03.924
Love it like you're not supposed to.

731
00:48:04.090 --> 00:48:06.468
(BOTH LAUGH)

732
00:48:09.678 --> 00:48:11.646
Aren't we naughty?

733
00:48:16.936 --> 00:48:17.903
It's such a lovely night.

734
00:48:18.062 --> 00:48:19.780
I think I'm going to walk back to the hotel.

735
00:48:19.939 --> 00:48:21.907
Yes, of course, but before you go,

736
00:48:22.066 --> 00:48:23.784
I want you to do something for me.

737
00:48:23.943 --> 00:48:25.866
I want you to repeat after me,

738
00:48:26.028 --> 00:48:30.329
"I am Elspeth Dickens, goddess!"

739
00:48:30.491 --> 00:48:31.834
(LAUGHS) No!

740
00:48:31.992 --> 00:48:33.585
Come on. You've got
a big photoshoot tomorrow.

741
00:48:33.744 --> 00:48:35.587
I need you to be in the right headspace.

742
00:48:35.746 --> 00:48:37.168
Think of it as a branding exercise.

743
00:48:37.331 --> 00:48:38.833
What brand of woman are you?

744
00:48:38.999 --> 00:48:42.048
(SHOUTS)
I am Elspeth Dickens, goddess!

745
00:48:44.338 --> 00:48:45.590
(BLOWS WHISTLE)

746
00:48:47.967 --> 00:48:51.813
Yes, you are.
See you at the studio. 7am sharp.

747
00:49:10.072 --> 00:49:12.575
(SINGS)
♪ Oh, my, here's a beauty

748
00:49:12.741 --> 00:49:14.960
♪ She's a real cutie

749
00:49:15.119 --> 00:49:18.623
♪ Think I feel a duty
to put her in my song. ♪

750
00:49:18.789 --> 00:49:22.669
- What's your name, darling?
- I'm Elspeth Dickens, goddess.

751
00:49:22.835 --> 00:49:23.882
(LAUGHS)

752
00:49:24.044 --> 00:49:27.173
♪ Elspeth is a goddess

753
00:49:27.339 --> 00:49:31.640
- ♪ And she is very modest... ♪
- Mm-hm.

754
00:49:33.095 --> 00:49:40.525
♪ She is much too pretty to be alone in this big old city

755
00:49:41.979 --> 00:49:45.324
♪ Oh, Elspeth Dickens, my heart quickens

756
00:49:45.483 --> 00:49:49.283
♪ But I ain't easy pickins 'Cause you walk like

757
00:49:49.445 --> 00:49:52.949
I You walk like You walk like

758
00:49:54.950 --> 00:49:56.702
♪ 10 chickens. ♪

759
00:49:56.869 --> 00:49:59.247
- I'm sorry, but it rhymes.
- Rubbish.

760
00:49:59.413 --> 00:50:00.790
(LAUGHS)

761
00:50:00.956 --> 00:50:02.879
♪ I have to play here

762
00:50:03.042 --> 00:50:04.760
♪ Don't disappear, dear... ♪

763
00:50:04.919 --> 00:50:07.638
(CLUCKS LIKE CHICKEN)

764
00:50:07.796 --> 00:50:10.766
♪ She flies like a seagull... ♪

765
00:50:10.925 --> 00:50:12.768
Still rubbish!

766
00:50:12.927 --> 00:50:15.527
♪ And people... ♪

767
00:50:22.686 --> 00:50:24.484
(ROOSTER CROWS)

768
00:50:24.647 --> 00:50:26.570
(WHALE NOISE)

769
00:50:26.732 --> 00:50:29.576
So that's the Megaptera novaeangliae.

770
00:50:29.735 --> 00:50:32.830
- That's the humpback whale.
- BOYS: Moo!

771
00:50:32.988 --> 00:50:37.619
No, that's a cow, OK?
But this...
(MAKES WHALE NOISE)

772
00:50:37.785 --> 00:50:39.287
- (BLOWS RASPBERRY)
- Thank you.

773
00:50:39.453 --> 00:50:41.956
That's the noise he makes as well.

774
00:50:42.122 --> 00:50:44.545
So this...
(MAKES WHALE NOISE)

775
00:50:44.708 --> 00:50:47.757
...is the Globicephala melaena -
that's the pilot whale.

776
00:50:47.920 --> 00:50:49.843
(MAKES WHALE NOISE)

777
00:50:50.005 --> 00:50:51.803
That's the mighty sperm whale.

778
00:50:51.966 --> 00:50:54.014
'Bye, chaps.
Wish me luck.

779
00:50:56.053 --> 00:51:00.809
CASSANDRA: Darling, Botticelli's
Venus doesn't have any clothes.

780
00:51:00.975 --> 00:51:02.818
Can't I be the Mona Lisa instead, then?

781
00:51:02.977 --> 00:51:07.483
No, precious. You're a goddess.
That's the whole point.

782
00:51:07.648 --> 00:51:11.118
I'm not a goddess.
I'm a mother with stretch marks.

783
00:51:11.277 --> 00:51:14.451
We can fix all that.
Trust me. You'll look perfect.

784
00:51:14.613 --> 00:51:16.786
But isn't the whole point that I'm not perfect?

785
00:51:16.949 --> 00:51:19.748
That I'm a normal mother who still has a life?

786
00:51:19.910 --> 00:51:21.787
Angel, the earth mother is dead.

787
00:51:21.954 --> 00:51:24.798
People want to see mums portrayed as bold and sexy.

788
00:51:24.957 --> 00:51:26.834
I don't want to take my clothes off.

789
00:51:27.001 --> 00:51:30.255
I'm a singer, not a centrefold.

790
00:51:30.421 --> 00:51:32.970
Ralph!

791
00:51:39.513 --> 00:51:43.108
Ah... Elspeth,
I think you look... hot.

792
00:51:43.267 --> 00:51:47.773
But not like a... not a dirty hot.
Like a... a... a classy hot.

793
00:51:47.938 --> 00:51:50.782
And... you know,
and twice as rich.

794
00:51:50.941 --> 00:51:52.614
Your hair's covering
your boo... hip... your bips.

795
00:51:52.776 --> 00:51:54.619
Your... your bits.

796
00:51:55.863 --> 00:51:57.740
Do you think we could use a model's body

797
00:51:57.906 --> 00:51:59.533
and just stick her head on it?

798
00:51:59.700 --> 00:52:00.872
You're missing the point!

799
00:52:01.035 --> 00:52:02.753
I don't feel right about being plastered

800
00:52:02.911 --> 00:52:03.878
over the arse end of a bus

801
00:52:04.038 --> 00:52:05.506
with whoever's body I happen to be wearing

802
00:52:05.664 --> 00:52:07.541
stark bloody naked!

803
00:52:14.048 --> 00:52:17.177
(CRUNCHING)

804
00:52:19.637 --> 00:52:22.060
(DOOR CREAKS)

805
00:52:22.222 --> 00:52:24.224
RALPH: Hello?

806
00:52:26.769 --> 00:52:28.146
(KNOCKING ON CUBICLE)

807
00:52:28.312 --> 00:52:30.406
Cassandra?

808
00:52:35.110 --> 00:52:36.862
Cassandra?

809
00:52:47.665 --> 00:52:50.293
Do you want people to hear your songs?

810
00:52:50.459 --> 00:52:52.302
Yes, of course.

811
00:52:52.461 --> 00:52:54.634
Then you need exposure.

812
00:52:55.673 --> 00:52:57.801
- Yeah, but I didn't think...
- Everything costs.

813
00:52:57.966 --> 00:52:59.559
Everything has a price.

814
00:52:59.718 --> 00:53:02.471
You want some of this, you give up some of that.

815
00:53:02.638 --> 00:53:04.481
I'm sorry, I just don't think I should give up...

816
00:53:04.640 --> 00:53:06.517
Oh, come on, Elspeth -
both you and I know

817
00:53:06.684 --> 00:53:09.528
you would do backflips naked across Sydney Harbour Bridge

818
00:53:09.687 --> 00:53:11.360
to get where you want to go.

819
00:53:12.606 --> 00:53:14.529
And that's OK.

820
00:53:14.692 --> 00:53:17.445
But be that person.

821
00:53:17.611 --> 00:53:21.115
Don't pretend to be this dreary little house mouse

822
00:53:21.281 --> 00:53:23.409
clutching onto her modesty.

823
00:53:23.575 --> 00:53:25.873
It's dishonest.

824
00:53:26.036 --> 00:53:29.916
I don't want to be naked.
That's not dishonest.

825
00:53:30.082 --> 00:53:33.461
What is dishonest is wasting time in here

826
00:53:33.627 --> 00:53:36.176
so you can feel better about making the compromise

827
00:53:36.338 --> 00:53:38.261
you know you have to make out there.

828
00:53:38.424 --> 00:53:40.392
What is dishonest is keeping

829
00:53:40.551 --> 00:53:43.395
an entire studio full of professionals waiting

830
00:53:43.554 --> 00:53:45.397
while you pretend you're not

831
00:53:45.556 --> 00:53:47.103
an extremely ambitious young woman

832
00:53:47.266 --> 00:53:49.394
who knows exactly what she must do

833
00:53:49.560 --> 00:53:51.403
to get where she wants to go.

834
00:53:51.562 --> 00:53:55.192
That is dishonest.

835
00:54:04.742 --> 00:54:07.495
Breathe. Take a deep breath.

836
00:54:09.538 --> 00:54:13.133
Take a break.
Take a moment for yourself.

837
00:54:13.292 --> 00:54:15.386
And then it's back out there to do the job

838
00:54:15.544 --> 00:54:17.592
you're being paid to do.

839
00:54:17.755 --> 00:54:19.849
OK?

840
00:54:21.383 --> 00:54:28.016
(ELSPETH SINGS)
♪ A foolish little princess wanted all

841
00:54:28.182 --> 00:54:34.360
♪ See her pride
♪ See her fall

842
00:54:34.521 --> 00:54:37.695
♪ Somewhere in the fountain

843
00:54:37.858 --> 00:54:44.662
♪ A magic fish swims and sings

844
00:54:44.823 --> 00:54:51.331
♪ Be careful what you wish... ♪

845
00:54:51.497 --> 00:54:54.626
(APPLAUSE)

846
00:54:54.792 --> 00:54:59.468
♪ Danger in the air now
♪ What, what, what you want?

847
00:54:59.630 --> 00:55:03.385
♪ Is this what you really want?
Your fairytale unfolds, wow

848
00:55:03.550 --> 00:55:06.099
♪ What, what, what you want?

849
00:55:06.261 --> 00:55:07.763
♪ Is this what you really want?

850
00:55:07.930 --> 00:55:10.979
♪ Princes may be really frogs

851
00:55:11.141 --> 00:55:13.394
♪ Look out for
three-headed dogs

852
00:55:13.560 --> 00:55:16.359
♪ Sleeping there in hollow logs

853
00:55:16.522 --> 00:55:22.370
♪ Be careful what you wish

854
00:55:26.448 --> 00:55:29.372
- ♪ Careful, don't play the fool
- ♪ Ah

855
00:55:29.535 --> 00:55:32.254
♪ You may be forced to duel

856
00:55:32.412 --> 00:55:36.292
♪ Did you set out to rule?
- ♪ Ah

857
00:55:36.458 --> 00:55:38.836
I When you get it Ah hah hah hah

858
00:55:39.002 --> 00:55:41.755
♪ Is this what you came here for?

859
00:55:41.922 --> 00:55:45.267
- I Ah
- ♪ Beware of the golden doors

860
00:55:45.425 --> 00:55:49.020
♪ You get what you're asking for

861
00:55:49.179 --> 00:55:52.774
♪ When you get it
♪ Ah hah hah hah hah hah

862
00:55:52.933 --> 00:55:55.402
♪ Did you want the crown now?

863
00:55:55.561 --> 00:55:58.064
♪ What, what, what you want?

864
00:55:58.230 --> 00:55:59.732
♪ Is this what you really want?

865
00:55:59.898 --> 00:56:02.151
♪ You're in lost-and-found now

866
00:56:02.317 --> 00:56:04.240
♪ What, what, what you want

867
00:56:04.403 --> 00:56:06.246
♪ Is this what you really want?

868
00:56:06.405 --> 00:56:08.453
♪ Build a castle made of sand

869
00:56:08.615 --> 00:56:12.336
♪ There's something loose out in the land

870
00:56:12.494 --> 00:56:15.247
♪ May not be what you have planned

871
00:56:15.414 --> 00:56:22.093
♪ Be careful what you wish

872
00:56:24.798 --> 00:56:28.098
- ♪ Careful, don't play the fool
- ♪ Ah

873
00:56:28.260 --> 00:56:30.558
♪ You may be forced to duel

874
00:56:30.721 --> 00:56:34.271
♪ And did you set out to rule?

875
00:56:34.433 --> 00:56:37.312
I When you get it Ah hah hah hah

876
00:56:37.477 --> 00:56:40.481
♪ Was this what you came here for?

877
00:56:40.647 --> 00:56:43.491
♪ Beware of the golden door

878
00:56:43.650 --> 00:56:47.200
♪ You get what you're asking for

879
00:56:47.362 --> 00:56:51.742
♪ When you get it
Ah hah hah hah hah hah. ♪

880
00:56:58.749 --> 00:57:01.093
(KNOCK AT DOOR)

881
00:57:06.924 --> 00:57:09.222
- They uploaded your webcasts!
- Oh, great!

882
00:57:09.384 --> 00:57:12.228
- Which made the server collapse.
- Oh, no.

883
00:57:12.387 --> 00:57:13.809
No, no, no, that's great!

884
00:57:13.972 --> 00:57:15.724
The server collapsed because every man and his dog

885
00:57:15.891 --> 00:57:17.393
is logging on to watch you.

886
00:57:17.559 --> 00:57:19.903
So, drum roll, please.

887
00:57:20.062 --> 00:57:22.906
Cassandra pitched an idea to the client.

888
00:57:23.065 --> 00:57:26.911
I have suggested that instead of wasting Elspeth Dickens

889
00:57:27.069 --> 00:57:28.992
on the Asia-Pacific campaign,

890
00:57:29.154 --> 00:57:31.248
they use her to spearhead the...

891
00:57:31.406 --> 00:57:32.908
BOTH: ..international launch!

892
00:57:33.075 --> 00:57:35.373
Rich! Rich!
You'll be rich, I tell ya!

893
00:57:35.535 --> 00:57:38.379
They've asked for a day or two
to consult the powers that be,

894
00:57:38.538 --> 00:57:41.963
but what this means in the
short term is that I need you here,

895
00:57:42.125 --> 00:57:44.127
ready to jump when they say jump.

896
00:57:44.294 --> 00:57:48.015
Oh, that's great, but I'm on the six o'clock ﬂight.

897
00:57:48.173 --> 00:57:50.676
- Uh, no, cancelled it.
- But the kids, James!

898
00:57:50.842 --> 00:57:52.515
They're expecting me home.

899
00:57:52.678 --> 00:57:55.101
Don't get me wrong.
This is wonderful.

900
00:57:55.263 --> 00:57:57.186
But I have to have a conversation with my husband...

901
00:57:57.349 --> 00:58:00.398
Ralph, go to the lobby and fetch me
a sparkling mineral water.

902
00:58:00.560 --> 00:58:01.982
Yep. There's one
in the minibar.

903
00:58:02.145 --> 00:58:03.863
- Ralph?
- Mmm?

904
00:58:04.022 --> 00:58:05.945
(CLEARS THROAT)

905
00:58:06.108 --> 00:58:09.487
Oh! Exiting stage left.

906
00:58:17.577 --> 00:58:20.922
I was tough on you the other day, I know.

907
00:58:21.081 --> 00:58:23.004
But I only said what I said

908
00:58:23.166 --> 00:58:25.885
because the big time is barrelling towards you

909
00:58:26.044 --> 00:58:27.591
like a freight train.

910
00:58:27.754 --> 00:58:29.176
It will only come once.

911
00:58:29.339 --> 00:58:31.842
There will only be one opportunity to get on board.

912
00:58:32.009 --> 00:58:33.727
And if you don't take your seat now,

913
00:58:33.885 --> 00:58:35.853
then some other lucky girl will.

914
00:58:36.013 --> 00:58:38.892
And your chance will pass.

915
00:58:39.057 --> 00:58:41.606
Forever.

916
00:58:48.525 --> 00:58:50.903
If you're going to make this work,
then you need to let...

917
00:58:51.069 --> 00:58:53.367
- What's his name, your husband?
- James.

918
00:58:53.530 --> 00:58:57.410
Then you need to let James carry more of the load.

919
00:58:58.785 --> 00:59:00.287
We have a deal.

920
00:59:00.454 --> 00:59:03.207
We agreed I'd be the main carer until the kids were...

921
00:59:03.373 --> 00:59:05.592
Deal, schmeal.

922
00:59:05.751 --> 00:59:10.632
Opportunities like this come once in a lifetime.

923
00:59:10.797 --> 00:59:15.143
You need to renegotiate your deal.

924
00:59:18.055 --> 00:59:20.604
- I guess I'll get Mary back.
- ELSPETH: Why can't you do it?

925
00:59:20.766 --> 00:59:23.770
I can for a bit, but I've got to go
back to work on Wednesday,

926
00:59:23.935 --> 00:59:25.858
and if you can't say how long you're gonna be...

927
00:59:26.021 --> 00:59:28.319
James, I want to renegotiate our deal.

928
00:59:28.482 --> 00:59:30.359
Yeah, whose big idea was that in the first place?

929
00:59:30.525 --> 00:59:33.779
Mine. I'm not blaming you.
I'm just asking you to review it.

930
00:59:33.945 --> 00:59:35.413
You threw the deal out the window

931
00:59:35.572 --> 00:59:37.324
the moment you took off for Sydney.

932
00:59:37.491 --> 00:59:39.334
Don't be pretending to ask my permission.

933
00:59:39.493 --> 00:59:41.791
You don't seriously expect me
to tell these people to go away

934
00:59:41.953 --> 00:59:43.330
until the twins went to school

935
00:59:43.497 --> 00:59:45.716
because that's when it's my
husband's turn to look after them,

936
00:59:45.874 --> 00:59:47.592
so that's when I could work?

937
00:59:47.751 --> 00:59:50.300
I expected you to do exactly what you wanted to do,

938
00:59:50.462 --> 00:59:52.135
and that's what you've done -
shock, horror.

939
00:59:52.297 --> 00:59:53.674
What's the matter with you?

940
00:59:53.840 --> 00:59:55.217
Don't you want this for me?

941
00:59:55.383 --> 00:59:57.636
For us?
Don't you want this money?

942
00:59:57.803 --> 01:00:01.023
Three cheers for Elspeth, bringing home the big bucks.

943
01:00:01.181 --> 01:00:03.024
You're all snippy because you're tired,

944
01:00:03.183 --> 01:00:06.232
'cause you're looking after twin terrors 24/7.

945
01:00:06.394 --> 01:00:09.238
Try doing it for two and a half bloody years.

946
01:00:09.397 --> 01:00:11.195
Try shoving your head up your bum!

947
01:00:11.358 --> 01:00:13.281
Interesting how calm and rational you can be

948
01:00:13.443 --> 01:00:15.241
when I'm the one stuck at home.

949
01:00:15.403 --> 01:00:17.280
But as soon as the shoe is on the other foot...

950
01:00:17.447 --> 01:00:18.790
- Hey, Elspeth.
- What?

951
01:00:18.949 --> 01:00:20.326
This!
(HANGS UP)

952
01:00:22.994 --> 01:00:25.622
(BOY CRIES)

953
01:00:25.789 --> 01:00:28.508
(GROWLS)

954
01:00:39.010 --> 01:00:42.139
Hey, goddess lady!
Whoa! It's me.

955
01:00:42.305 --> 01:00:45.354
Hey, I've been watching your stuff on YouTube.

956
01:00:45.517 --> 01:00:47.360
You're... You're awesome.

957
01:00:47.519 --> 01:00:49.613
No, I'm not. I'm rubbish.

958
01:00:49.771 --> 01:00:52.194
Oh. It's like that, is it?

959
01:00:52.357 --> 01:00:56.328
I'm a sellout.
I don't do anything properly.

960
01:00:56.486 --> 01:01:00.366
I'm a crap wife, a crap mother and a terrible person.

961
01:01:07.956 --> 01:01:10.209
- (SQUEALS)
- Ah!

962
01:01:10.375 --> 01:01:12.423
(BOTH LAUGH)

963
01:01:14.421 --> 01:01:15.798
Goodnight.

964
01:01:19.467 --> 01:01:22.061
(MAN WHISTLES TUNE)

965
01:01:29.769 --> 01:01:33.615
(SINGS)
♪ The goddess comes in all shapes and sizes

966
01:01:33.773 --> 01:01:39.405
♪ She is full of surprises Here comes the goddess

967
01:01:39.571 --> 01:01:44.998
♪ Sometimes she wears inappropriate clothing

968
01:01:45.160 --> 01:01:48.255
♪ Sometimes she's wearing a nose ring

969
01:01:48.413 --> 01:01:50.507
♪ Maybe wearing her make-up

970
01:01:51.791 --> 01:01:53.338
♪ Maybe not

971
01:01:53.501 --> 01:01:56.254
♪ She comes when you least expect her

972
01:01:56.421 --> 01:01:59.345
♪ But nobody can reject her

973
01:01:59.507 --> 01:02:02.306
♪ Here comes the goddess

974
01:02:03.970 --> 01:02:07.270
♪ So if you're spiritually incomplete

975
01:02:07.432 --> 01:02:10.026
♪ If you're out there searching the street

976
01:02:10.185 --> 01:02:14.691
♪ Look closely at the women you meet

977
01:02:14.856 --> 01:02:19.236
I The goddess She will surely affect you

978
01:02:19.402 --> 01:02:22.246
♪ Then she'll come disinfect you

979
01:02:22.405 --> 01:02:25.329
♪ Maybe wearing dark glasses

980
01:02:25.492 --> 01:02:27.620
♪ She's got two big asses

981
01:02:27.786 --> 01:02:30.380
♪ Struts her stuff for you

982
01:02:30.538 --> 01:02:33.382
♪ Eats enough for two

983
01:02:33.541 --> 01:02:36.215
♪ A dangerous dancer

984
01:02:36.378 --> 01:02:39.177
♪ She might be the answer

985
01:02:39.339 --> 01:02:42.263
♪ She comes when you least expect her

986
01:02:42.425 --> 01:02:45.269
♪ And nobody can reject her

987
01:02:45.428 --> 01:02:47.522
♪ Here comes the goddess

988
01:02:50.183 --> 01:02:53.062
♪ So if you're spiritually incomplete

989
01:02:53.228 --> 01:02:55.356
♪ If you're out there searching the street

990
01:02:55.522 --> 01:02:59.152
♪ Look closely at the women you meet

991
01:02:59.317 --> 01:03:01.536
♪ Here comes the goddess

992
01:03:01.695 --> 01:03:04.198
♪ Sometimes she doesn't wash her hair

993
01:03:04.364 --> 01:03:06.833
♪ Sometimes she's hairy like a bear

994
01:03:06.992 --> 01:03:10.087
♪ Sometimes she wears a wedding ring

995
01:03:10.245 --> 01:03:11.337
♪ So look around

996
01:03:11.496 --> 01:03:13.089
♪ Here comes the goddess

997
01:03:13.248 --> 01:03:15.501
♪ The goddess
♪ Perhaps her nose is red

998
01:03:15.667 --> 01:03:18.170
♪ She might be the stranger in your bed

999
01:03:18.336 --> 01:03:20.885
♪ Perhaps she will knock you on your head

1000
01:03:21.047 --> 01:03:23.049
♪ So look around

1001
01:03:23.216 --> 01:03:25.685
♪ Here comes the goddess

1002
01:03:25.844 --> 01:03:28.438
♪ Oh, here she comes

1003
01:03:30.557 --> 01:03:33.276
♪ A dangerous dancer

1004
01:03:33.435 --> 01:03:36.439
♪ She might be the answer

1005
01:03:37.605 --> 01:03:41.405
♪ Doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo

1006
01:03:42.819 --> 01:03:46.039
♪ Here comes the goddess. ♪

1007
01:03:56.833 --> 01:03:59.006
(ELSPETH LAUGHS)
Sun rubbish.

1008
01:03:59.169 --> 01:04:01.012
(MAN LAUGHS)

1009
01:04:10.638 --> 01:04:12.811
MAN: So.

1010
01:04:15.477 --> 01:04:18.356
Same time, same place?

1011
01:04:22.525 --> 01:04:24.027
Can I come up?

1012
01:04:24.194 --> 01:04:26.288
- Rory!
- What?

1013
01:04:26.446 --> 01:04:29.495
Just to make sure the fella
in the funny outfit doesn't mug ya.

1014
01:04:35.830 --> 01:04:37.503
Good bye.

1015
01:04:38.541 --> 01:04:40.088
Thank you.

1016
01:05:13.910 --> 01:05:15.457
Stop it.

1017
01:05:16.496 --> 01:05:20.376
Stop it. I mean it. No.

1018
01:05:25.046 --> 01:05:26.468
You are Elspeth Dickens, mother,

1019
01:05:26.631 --> 01:05:28.429
and you are playing dangerous games.

1020
01:05:28.591 --> 01:05:30.013
Who's she talking to?

1021
01:05:30.176 --> 01:05:31.894
You are Elspeth Dickens, wife,

1022
01:05:32.053 --> 01:05:35.057
and your husband's name is James, James...

1023
01:05:35.223 --> 01:05:38.568
- Is she writing a song?
- I don't think so.

1024
01:05:38.726 --> 01:05:40.399
ELSPETH:
James, James, James.

1025
01:05:42.188 --> 01:05:44.737
- (WHISTLES)
- (GASPS)

1026
01:05:47.444 --> 01:05:49.321
Oh... There you are.

1027
01:05:49.487 --> 01:05:52.366
Oh. Oh, my God. That's him.

1028
01:05:52.532 --> 01:05:56.127
That's the husband. That's her
kitchen. She's switched us over.

1029
01:05:58.455 --> 01:06:00.833
(HUMS)

1030
01:06:00.999 --> 01:06:02.342
(GASPS)

1031
01:06:07.922 --> 01:06:08.969
(FARTS)

1032
01:06:22.604 --> 01:06:24.606
(COWS MOO)

1033
01:06:24.772 --> 01:06:27.491
Come on!
You worked the last time.

1034
01:06:30.111 --> 01:06:32.910
- Come on.
- Have you tried pulling it?

1035
01:06:33.072 --> 01:06:35.871
- What?
- Um, the knob.

1036
01:06:36.034 --> 01:06:37.877
Sorry?

1037
01:06:38.036 --> 01:06:40.334
WOMAN: Sorry.

1038
01:06:40.497 --> 01:06:42.044
Ah.

1039
01:06:43.166 --> 01:06:45.089
I'm Cherry.

1040
01:06:45.251 --> 01:06:46.924
From the agency.
I'm the babysitter.

1041
01:06:47.086 --> 01:06:49.509
Oh, Cherry.
What happened to Mary?

1042
01:06:49.672 --> 01:06:52.016
She's with another family, I think.

1043
01:06:52.175 --> 01:06:55.349
Oh, well. You're here.
That's great. I'm James.

1044
01:06:55.512 --> 01:06:57.765
- Hi, James.
- Come and meet the, uh...

1045
01:06:59.182 --> 01:07:01.150
- The children?
- The children.

1046
01:07:05.855 --> 01:07:07.949
MAN ON TV: A massive
ground assault is underway.

1047
01:07:08.107 --> 01:07:09.734
(GUNFIRE AND EXPLOSIONS)

1048
01:07:12.195 --> 01:07:13.742
Oh, jeepers.

1049
01:07:13.905 --> 01:07:15.031
What's wrong?
Did they do a poo?

1050
01:07:15.198 --> 01:07:16.666
BOTH: No poo.

1051
01:07:16.824 --> 01:07:19.122
Hello, little ones.

1052
01:07:19.285 --> 01:07:21.504
If you don't do a poo, you're gonna explode.

1053
01:07:21.663 --> 01:07:24.633
- (EXPLOSION ON TV)
- BOYS: Boom!

1054
01:07:24.791 --> 01:07:26.919
Uh, hey. Who wants
to make playdough?

1055
01:07:27.085 --> 01:07:30.009
Do you want to make playdough?
Let's do that. Yeah.

1056
01:07:30.171 --> 01:07:32.424
- A little Elmo.
- A little Elmo.

1057
01:07:32.590 --> 01:07:34.809
Little arms.

1058
01:07:37.762 --> 01:07:39.309
Can I get you anything before you go'?

1059
01:07:39.472 --> 01:07:41.725
- No, I'm fine. Thank you.
- Alright. Hey...

1060
01:07:41.891 --> 01:07:43.689
Boys, we're gonna make a cake, aren't we?

1061
01:07:43.851 --> 01:07:46.900
BOYS: Cake! Cake! Cake!
Cake! Cake!

1062
01:07:47.063 --> 01:07:48.610
This playdough's hard work.

1063
01:07:52.527 --> 01:07:54.996
Oh, you go whenever you need to.

1064
01:07:55.154 --> 01:07:57.407
- I don't have to go just yet.
- Oh.

1065
01:07:57.574 --> 01:08:00.077
- OK.
- OK. Yep.

1066
01:08:00.243 --> 01:08:01.210
BOY: Mummy!

1067
01:08:01.369 --> 01:08:02.916
We've got no right to be doing this.

1068
01:08:03.079 --> 01:08:04.922
They don't even know there's a camera there.

1069
01:08:05.081 --> 01:08:06.799
Which makes it reality TV at its finest.

1070
01:08:06.958 --> 01:08:11.259
- Mummy! Mummy!
- Not now, Napoleon!

1071
01:08:13.256 --> 01:08:15.099
- (SNIP!)
- (CAT YOWLS)

1072
01:08:18.636 --> 01:08:20.229
Should we ask Daddy to be our guinea pig?

1073
01:08:20.388 --> 01:08:22.436
CHERRY: Yeah? Alright.

1074
01:08:24.434 --> 01:08:26.186
Open wide.

1075
01:08:28.229 --> 01:08:32.075
- Oh, no. Oops.
- BOY: That's really yummy.

1076
01:08:32.233 --> 01:08:33.655
CHERRY: Mmm!

1077
01:08:35.069 --> 01:08:36.912
Oh, that... That is good.

1078
01:08:37.071 --> 01:08:39.494
- BOY: Good work.
- Mmm!

1079
01:08:43.870 --> 01:08:47.920
- Oh, look! What's that?
- Cake!

1080
01:08:48.082 --> 01:08:51.006
- You're not Mary.
- I want cake!

1081
01:08:51.169 --> 01:08:52.716
But first, Daddy's gonna ice it.

1082
01:08:52.879 --> 01:08:55.052
I can't.
I'll bugger it up.

1083
01:08:55.214 --> 01:08:57.888
- He'll just get in the way.
- Oh, here.

1084
01:08:58.051 --> 01:09:00.349
- Oh, Elspeth doesn't like this.
- What?

1085
01:09:00.511 --> 01:09:02.184
- What?
- Two people in the kitchen.

1086
01:09:02.347 --> 01:09:04.691
- She says I get in the way.
- We like having you here.

1087
01:09:04.849 --> 01:09:06.066
- CHERRY: Don't we?
- BOYS: Yes!

1088
01:09:06.225 --> 01:09:07.602
I'm having great fun, but...

1089
01:09:07.769 --> 01:09:09.271
...I've really
got to go shopping.

1090
01:09:09.437 --> 01:09:11.110
- Here.
- Daddy's being silly!

1091
01:09:11.272 --> 01:09:14.446
- He is! He can't go like that.
- Like what?

1092
01:09:14.609 --> 01:09:16.577
That shirt needs a sponge.
It'll take me two secs.

1093
01:09:16.736 --> 01:09:18.238
- Come on, off with it.
- Are you sure?

1094
01:09:18.404 --> 01:09:19.576
- CHERRY: Mm-hm.
- Oh.

1095
01:09:22.825 --> 01:09:25.294
We can't let Daddy go looking all gooey, can we?

1096
01:09:25.453 --> 01:09:28.878
"Oh, oh, oh, oh! We can't
let Daddy go looking all gooey."

1097
01:09:29.040 --> 01:09:31.668
"No, we have to
sponge him down first."

1098
01:09:41.719 --> 01:09:44.939
- Nice tatts.
- Great back.

1099
01:09:45.098 --> 01:09:47.942
You should see his bottom.

1100
01:09:48.101 --> 01:09:49.944
BOTH: We have.

1101
01:09:50.103 --> 01:09:52.856
This is somebody's husband!
It's someone's private life.

1102
01:09:53.022 --> 01:09:55.024
That's what makes it so good!

1103
01:09:55.191 --> 01:09:57.364
I'm gonna tell him.
I'm gonna tell James.

1104
01:09:57.527 --> 01:09:59.450
He's got a right to know he's being watched.

1105
01:10:01.864 --> 01:10:02.911
Oh.

1106
01:10:11.916 --> 01:10:13.839
(KNOCK AT DOOR)

1107
01:10:14.877 --> 01:10:17.346
CASSANDRA:
You should see the stats.

1108
01:10:17.505 --> 01:10:21.100
You have got the most powerful
non-parochial penetration

1109
01:10:21.259 --> 01:10:24.763
since Julian Assange leaked all over his Wiki.

1110
01:10:24.929 --> 01:10:27.352
Oh! What's this?

1111
01:10:27.515 --> 01:10:30.894
A first-class ticket
to New York, New York.

1112
01:10:31.060 --> 01:10:32.607
Sit and I'll upload.

1113
01:10:36.399 --> 01:10:37.946
ELSPETH: Wow!

1114
01:10:46.868 --> 01:10:49.792
(SINGS)
♪ Not everyone can have what you want

1115
01:10:49.954 --> 01:10:52.423
♪ Fame is a crowded room

1116
01:10:52.582 --> 01:10:55.131
♪ Everybody wants the one shot

1117
01:10:55.293 --> 01:10:58.172
♪ At the sun spot that's up at the top

1118
01:10:58.337 --> 01:11:01.307
♪ I'm the one who can jump to the front of the line

1119
01:11:01.466 --> 01:11:05.687
♪ Make the sun shine
♪ Do you know who I am?

1120
01:11:05.845 --> 01:11:09.145
♪ Ooh

1121
01:11:09.307 --> 01:11:12.060
♪ Follow me and you'll hit the spot

1122
01:11:12.226 --> 01:11:14.900
♪ I can sell everything you've got

1123
01:11:15.062 --> 01:11:17.235
♪ Make you into what you are not

1124
01:11:17.398 --> 01:11:20.277
♪ Package and mould you
♪ Lick you and fold you

1125
01:11:20.443 --> 01:11:23.367
♪ Get your head around this
♪ I am offering bliss

1126
01:11:23.529 --> 01:11:26.908
♪ Blow me a kiss
♪ Do you know who I am?

1127
01:11:27.074 --> 01:11:29.998
♪ Do you know who I am?

1128
01:11:31.287 --> 01:11:33.631
♪ Do you want to feel the heat

1129
01:11:33.790 --> 01:11:36.543
♪ Of people screaming at your feet?

1130
01:11:36.709 --> 01:11:38.803
♪ Oh!
Hold yourself steady

1131
01:11:38.961 --> 01:11:40.053
<i>♪ Aw!</i>

1132
01:11:40.213 --> 01:11:42.636
♪ Yeah, you're already mine

1133
01:11:42.799 --> 01:11:45.097
I It's time

1134
01:11:45.259 --> 01:11:49.435
♪ Sign here

1135
01:11:49.597 --> 01:11:54.945
♪ Go get your high heels
♪ I own the big deals

1136
01:11:55.102 --> 01:12:00.074
♪ And if you squander this, your life is done

1137
01:12:00.233 --> 01:12:02.986
♪ It comes but once, now

1138
01:12:03.152 --> 01:12:06.247
♪ Don't be a dumb cow

1139
01:12:06.405 --> 01:12:11.787
♪ This is your final chance now,
sugar plum... ♪

1140
01:12:11.953 --> 01:12:14.081
Tomorrow, we fly to New York, just for a few days,

1141
01:12:14.247 --> 01:12:15.624
to bang out the deal.

1142
01:12:15.790 --> 01:12:17.633
You schmooze and charm

1143
01:12:17.792 --> 01:12:19.669
while I screw them for every cent they've got.

1144
01:12:19.836 --> 01:12:21.838
Then it's back here to pack and off we go.

1145
01:12:22.004 --> 01:12:24.473
♪ Break the glass
♪ Make a <i>pass</i>

1146
01:12:24.632 --> 01:12:32.632
♪ Shake that ass while you still can

1147
01:12:33.516 --> 01:12:36.190
♪ Do you want to feel the heat

1148
01:12:36.352 --> 01:12:38.354
♪ Of people screaming at your feet?

1149
01:12:38.521 --> 01:12:41.115
♪ Oh!
Hold yourself steady

1150
01:12:41.274 --> 01:12:42.651
<i>♪ Aw!</i>

1151
01:12:42.817 --> 01:12:44.785
♪ Yeah, you're already mine

1152
01:12:44.944 --> 01:12:47.413
I It's time

1153
01:12:47.572 --> 01:12:50.542
♪ Sign here

1154
01:12:50.700 --> 01:12:54.000
♪ Da-da-da-da-da

1155
01:12:54.161 --> 01:12:56.209
♪ On the dotted line

1156
01:12:56.372 --> 01:12:57.874
I Da-da-da-da

1157
01:12:58.040 --> 01:13:01.419
♪ You're not that special, baby

1158
01:13:01.586 --> 01:13:04.590
I Da-da-da-da

1159
01:13:04.755 --> 01:13:06.974
♪ Da, feel the heat, da-da

1160
01:13:07.133 --> 01:13:11.229
♪ Da-da-da-da-da-da

1161
01:13:11.387 --> 01:13:13.890
♪ Da-da-da-da... ♪

1162
01:13:14.056 --> 01:13:16.309
Ralph! Bring the contract.

1163
01:13:17.518 --> 01:13:19.191
Now, as you can imagine,

1164
01:13:19.353 --> 01:13:22.778
I have got a million things to do before we go,

1165
01:13:22.940 --> 01:13:26.069
so I will see you tomorrow morning...

1166
01:13:26.235 --> 01:13:27.782
(KISSES)

1167
01:13:27.945 --> 01:13:30.573
...in the limousine.

1168
01:13:34.702 --> 01:13:38.582
- Scary.
- I heard that!

1169
01:13:40.541 --> 01:13:41.963
Oh!

1170
01:13:42.126 --> 01:13:45.426
It seems just a blink ago
I was sentenced to kitchen duties

1171
01:13:45.588 --> 01:13:47.556
for the term of my natural life, and then...

1172
01:13:47.715 --> 01:13:51.094
...you spotted me.

1173
01:13:51.260 --> 01:13:54.389
And now I'm off for...
How long is this tour thing?

1174
01:13:54.555 --> 01:13:58.435
Oh... Uh, best guesstimate?
Let's see. Uh...

1175
01:13:58.601 --> 01:14:00.979
- Three months-ish.
- Three?!

1176
01:14:01.145 --> 01:14:04.570
Well, I'll have to get
a full-time nanny.

1177
01:14:04.732 --> 01:14:06.575
Yay! A full-time nanny!

1178
01:14:06.734 --> 01:14:08.236
You can get a whole fleet of nannies!

1179
01:14:08.402 --> 01:14:10.530
- Whoo!
- Hooray!

1180
01:14:10.696 --> 01:14:13.620
And then I can just take them
from hotel to hotel with me.

1181
01:14:14.700 --> 01:14:16.077
Sure.

1182
01:14:16.243 --> 01:14:19.372
Or you could just...
leave them at home.

1183
01:14:19.538 --> 01:14:23.509
Sure. But maybe not
for three months.

1184
01:14:29.048 --> 01:14:32.143
People work and travel with kids and partners.

1185
01:14:32.301 --> 01:14:34.599
Look at movie stars.
They do it all the time.

1186
01:14:34.762 --> 01:14:36.514
Yeah.

1187
01:14:36.681 --> 01:14:40.026
Anyway, I get it.
This is my big chance.

1188
01:14:40.184 --> 01:14:42.778
I'd be a fool not to.

1189
01:14:42.937 --> 01:14:45.360
Yeah, so, I need you to sign...

1190
01:14:46.524 --> 01:14:51.496
...there, sign there,
initial there and sign there.

1191
01:14:51.654 --> 01:14:53.406
- Right.
- Mmm!

1192
01:14:53.572 --> 01:14:56.416
(BOTH LAUGH)

1193
01:15:01.288 --> 01:15:02.915
(CLEARS THROAT)

1194
01:15:05.501 --> 01:15:07.219
With the money you make from this,

1195
01:15:07.378 --> 01:15:09.255
you could pay for your kids' entire education.

1196
01:15:10.297 --> 01:15:12.049
- Oh...
- Mm-hm.

1197
01:15:15.177 --> 01:15:17.930
Ralph, I've got to sit with this.

1198
01:15:18.097 --> 01:15:20.191
Read it like
a proper grown-up.

1199
01:15:21.267 --> 01:15:23.315
Can I bring it to the airport tomorrow morning?

1200
01:15:23.477 --> 01:15:25.195
Not if you want to see me alive again.

1201
01:15:25.354 --> 01:15:27.277
Oh...

1202
01:15:27.440 --> 01:15:30.865
No, why don't I swing by tonight
and pick it up from the hotel?

1203
01:15:31.027 --> 01:15:34.076
Oh, Ralph!
You're such a champ.

1204
01:15:34.238 --> 01:15:37.492
Thank you.
Thank you for everything.

1205
01:15:38.534 --> 01:15:40.628
That's OK.

1206
01:15:43.706 --> 01:15:46.505
(BOY CRIES)

1207
01:15:48.961 --> 01:15:50.838
Oh, what happened, pal?
Did you hurt yourself?

1208
01:15:51.005 --> 01:15:52.848
- You OK?
- Fred fell down.

1209
01:15:53.007 --> 01:15:56.432
- It's OK. Dada's got you.
- Mama song.

1210
01:15:56.594 --> 01:15:58.141
Mama song?

1211
01:15:58.304 --> 01:16:00.477
(SINGS)
♪ For you light up the darkness

1212
01:16:00.639 --> 01:16:02.767
♪ You glow
♪ Don't give up

1213
01:16:02.933 --> 01:16:06.028
♪ Don't give in
Don't let go. ♪

1214
01:16:06.187 --> 01:16:09.441
- FRED: Mama song.
- OK, Mama song. OK.

1215
01:16:12.943 --> 01:16:15.822
(SINGS)
♪ If you didn't do what you wanted to

1216
01:16:15.988 --> 01:16:19.413
♪ If you only did what everybody told you

1217
01:16:19.575 --> 01:16:22.419
♪ Who would you be?

1218
01:16:23.454 --> 01:16:26.333
♪ You will always try
♪ You will always fly

1219
01:16:26.499 --> 01:16:30.094
♪ You will always look a tiger in the eye

1220
01:16:30.252 --> 01:16:32.846
♪ Take it from me

1221
01:16:33.005 --> 01:16:36.179
<i>I</i> I see in your eyes

1222
01:16:36.342 --> 01:16:39.095
♪ There's a movie of dreams

1223
01:16:39.261 --> 01:16:41.855
♪ See there is more to you

1224
01:16:42.014 --> 01:16:44.142
♪ Than it first seems

1225
01:16:44.308 --> 01:16:48.939
♪ See you are brighter than all the moonbeams

1226
01:16:49.105 --> 01:16:51.073
♪ You know

1227
01:16:53.359 --> 01:16:56.533
(BOTH SING)
♪ For you light up the darkness

1228
01:16:56.695 --> 01:16:58.618
<i>I</i> You glow

1229
01:16:58.781 --> 01:17:01.534
♪ Don't give up
♪ Don't give in

1230
01:17:01.700 --> 01:17:05.170
♪ Don't let go. ♪

1231
01:17:06.413 --> 01:17:08.006
Yeah.

1232
01:17:25.182 --> 01:17:27.480
(CRIEs)

1233
01:17:35.943 --> 01:17:38.241
(KNOCK ON DOOR)

1234
01:17:52.293 --> 01:17:54.295
- What's up, buttercup?
- Sorry.

1235
01:17:54.461 --> 01:17:56.384
I was just watching my family.

1236
01:17:56.547 --> 01:17:58.845
Oh.

1237
01:17:59.008 --> 01:18:03.058
You're gonna be fine.
James is doing a great job.

1238
01:18:03.220 --> 01:18:05.222
Yeah. He...

1239
01:18:05.389 --> 01:18:06.766
How do you know?

1240
01:18:06.932 --> 01:18:08.309
I've been watching too.

1241
01:18:08.475 --> 01:18:09.852
Everybody can see it.

1242
01:18:10.019 --> 01:18:12.488
It is on your website.

1243
01:18:12.646 --> 01:18:14.114
Huh?

1244
01:18:15.524 --> 01:18:18.323
You... You...

1245
01:18:20.946 --> 01:18:23.620
(TYPES)

1246
01:18:25.576 --> 01:18:29.080
You just switch from the Sydney
web cam to the Hobart web cam.

1247
01:18:29.246 --> 01:18:31.169
You know that.

1248
01:18:31.332 --> 01:18:33.926
- Bollocks.
- How could you not know that?

1249
01:18:34.084 --> 01:18:36.633
- Can you show me how you...
- What are you so panicked about?

1250
01:18:36.795 --> 01:18:38.672
I haven't even told him about the web cam.

1251
01:18:38.839 --> 01:18:40.716
I mean, about me doing the web cam thing,

1252
01:18:40.883 --> 01:18:43.136
let alone the fact that he and the kids are now...

1253
01:18:43.302 --> 01:18:45.725
Oh, how could I?
How could you?

1254
01:18:45.888 --> 01:18:48.437
I... I thought you knew.
I'm sorry.

1255
01:18:48.599 --> 01:18:50.101
I'm such an idiot!

1256
01:18:50.267 --> 01:18:52.395
If I'd just...
Who's done all this artwork?

1257
01:18:52.561 --> 01:18:55.986
They... We...
We thought you'd be pleased.

1258
01:18:58.484 --> 01:19:01.033
Alright.
Well, I think it's ready.

1259
01:19:01.195 --> 01:19:03.243
Oh, there you are.

1260
01:19:03.405 --> 01:19:07.285
- Can you please go?
- I need the contract.

1261
01:19:10.996 --> 01:19:14.170
JAMES: I'm starved.
Thank you.

1262
01:19:14.333 --> 01:19:16.301
Um...

1263
01:19:17.419 --> 01:19:20.389
You've just... missed one.
Just there.

1264
01:19:25.261 --> 01:19:26.808
Thanks.

1265
01:19:30.224 --> 01:19:32.352
Pick you up from the lobby in the morning, then.

1266
01:19:38.482 --> 01:19:42.328
(DOOR OPENS AND CLOSES)

1267
01:19:44.863 --> 01:19:46.581
Oh...

1268
01:19:46.740 --> 01:19:48.663
- You're very tense.
- Yeah.

1269
01:19:48.826 --> 01:19:52.126
CHERRY: You worry about things,
don't you?

1270
01:19:53.205 --> 01:19:55.708
JAMES: Oh. Oh...

1271
01:19:55.874 --> 01:19:58.127
- Is that OK?
- Yeah. Yeah, right there.

1272
01:19:58.294 --> 01:20:00.467
(JAMES MOANS)

1273
01:20:00.629 --> 01:20:03.348
(JAMES CONTINUES MOANING)

1274
01:20:11.765 --> 01:20:13.358
(GROWLS)

1275
01:20:13.517 --> 01:20:15.611
JAMES: Oh, God, yes. Oh...

1276
01:20:15.769 --> 01:20:17.487
Where's Fizz?

1277
01:20:19.148 --> 01:20:20.616
JAMES: Oh. Right there.

1278
01:20:20.774 --> 01:20:22.947
Oh...

1279
01:20:24.486 --> 01:20:26.534
- I'm gonna get going.
- Yeah.

1280
01:20:26.697 --> 01:20:29.246
- Yeah. Yeah.
- Um... Oh. Pantry.

1281
01:20:29.408 --> 01:20:31.331
Um, are you feeling better?

1282
01:20:31.493 --> 01:20:33.916
Yeah. Good. Alright.
Well, I'll see you... Oh!

1283
01:20:34.079 --> 01:20:35.581
I'm sorry.
I'll see you later.

1284
01:20:35.748 --> 01:20:38.171
Oh. Bag.

1285
01:20:38.334 --> 01:20:41.178
Cherry, you've been great.
Thanks very much.

1286
01:20:41.337 --> 01:20:43.214
Oh. No worries.

1287
01:20:43.380 --> 01:20:46.930
(LAUGHS NERVOUSLY)
Sorry. 'Bye! See you later.

1288
01:20:47.092 --> 01:20:50.062
- (PHONE RINGS)
- (DOOR CLOSES)

1289
01:20:54.350 --> 01:20:56.193
- Hello?
- James!

1290
01:20:56.352 --> 01:20:58.070
I've got something really big to tell you

1291
01:20:58.228 --> 01:21:00.026
and you're not gonna like it.

1292
01:21:00.189 --> 01:21:01.611
Oh, God. What?

1293
01:21:01.774 --> 01:21:05.574
See the plant on the shelf in the middle of the window?

1294
01:21:05.736 --> 01:21:07.784
- (KNOCK ON DOOR)
- Hang on one second.

1295
01:21:07.946 --> 01:21:10.495
- It's the babysitter. Coming!
- James.

1296
01:21:10.657 --> 01:21:13.126
ELSPETH: James!

1297
01:21:13.285 --> 01:21:14.753
There's a web cam hidden in your kitchen

1298
01:21:14.912 --> 01:21:16.539
and everybody's watching you on the internet.

1299
01:21:16.705 --> 01:21:17.752
What?!

1300
01:21:17.915 --> 01:21:19.337
There's a web cam in your kitchen.

1301
01:21:19.500 --> 01:21:22.094
I have to go.
They're coming.

1302
01:21:37.393 --> 01:21:40.021
James!
James! James!

1303
01:21:40.187 --> 01:21:42.064
James!

1304
01:21:49.738 --> 01:21:50.785
Bugged

1305
01:21:54.952 --> 01:21:56.704
I'm so sorry, Cassandra.

1306
01:21:56.870 --> 01:22:00.124
- I can't come. I'm not coming.
- This is just nerves...

1307
01:22:00.290 --> 01:22:02.088
I don't want to be the next big thing.

1308
01:22:02.251 --> 01:22:03.628
Stop. Let's just
get in the car...

1309
01:22:03.794 --> 01:22:05.967
All this time, I have been blaming James and the kids

1310
01:22:06.130 --> 01:22:07.507
for making me a nobody.

1311
01:22:07.673 --> 01:22:10.426
But it's them that have turned me into somebody.

1312
01:22:10.592 --> 01:22:14.313
No-one is asking you
to leave your family behind.

1313
01:22:14.471 --> 01:22:16.394
Don't you see?
That's exactly what will happen.

1314
01:22:16.557 --> 01:22:18.605
Three months this time.

1315
01:22:18.767 --> 01:22:21.316
- Longer next time, until...
- Get her bags.

1316
01:22:21.478 --> 01:22:25.108
No, Cassandra.
I'm not coming.

1317
01:22:25.274 --> 01:22:28.403
You signed a legally binding contract.

1318
01:22:28.569 --> 01:22:31.493
RALPH: Actually, she didn't.

1319
01:22:31.655 --> 01:22:34.499
I went to pick up the contract last night

1320
01:22:34.658 --> 01:22:36.251
and she hadn't signed it.

1321
01:22:36.410 --> 01:22:40.005
She... said that she was gonna
bring it this morning,

1322
01:22:40.164 --> 01:22:43.384
but she's obviously...
ripped it up... or something.

1323
01:22:43.542 --> 01:22:47.092
That's right.
There is no contract.

1324
01:22:48.130 --> 01:22:49.882
Idiot.

1325
01:22:55.929 --> 01:22:59.900
Women like me spend years doing the hard yards,

1326
01:23:00.058 --> 01:23:01.935
creating opportunities for girls like you.

1327
01:23:02.102 --> 01:23:04.230
And what do you do?

1328
01:23:04.396 --> 01:23:06.114
You nancy about with all of this vague,

1329
01:23:06.273 --> 01:23:08.321
feel-goody,
New Agey crap

1330
01:23:08.484 --> 01:23:10.907
and piss it all away!

1331
01:23:11.069 --> 01:23:13.492
Well, if it means ditching my husband

1332
01:23:13.655 --> 01:23:15.783
so that I can break through the <i>glass</i> ceiling, yeah.

1333
01:23:15.949 --> 01:23:17.872
I choose to piss it all away.

1334
01:23:18.911 --> 01:23:20.663
(MOANS SOFTLY)

1335
01:23:22.581 --> 01:23:27.428
Don't you presume to know anything about me.

1336
01:23:27.586 --> 01:23:30.931
I didn't ditch my husband.

1337
01:23:31.089 --> 01:23:33.558
He left me because I couldn't have children.

1338
01:23:33.717 --> 01:23:36.015
And guess why I don't tell that story to anyone.

1339
01:23:36.178 --> 01:23:37.805
I didn't...

1340
01:23:37.971 --> 01:23:42.147
Because that story makes me a sad, lonely loser.

1341
01:23:42.309 --> 01:23:45.188
So forgive me if I spin the story

1342
01:23:45.354 --> 01:23:48.574
in a way that seems superficial to you, Elspeth,

1343
01:23:48.732 --> 01:23:51.451
but that is not how I see myself.

1344
01:23:51.610 --> 01:23:54.284
That is not who I am.

1345
01:23:54.446 --> 01:23:56.824
I am Cassandra Wolfe.

1346
01:23:56.990 --> 01:24:01.746
I run the most successful agency
in the Asia-Pacific.

1347
01:24:01.912 --> 01:24:05.132
And I am fabulous!

1348
01:24:06.708 --> 01:24:09.336
You are fabulous, Cassandra.

1349
01:24:11.964 --> 01:24:14.308
Good bye.

1350
01:24:14.466 --> 01:24:15.763
(MOUTHS) Thank you.

1351
01:24:19.680 --> 01:24:21.557
Come on.

1352
01:24:24.851 --> 01:24:29.732
- I have an idea.
- Don't speak just now.

1353
01:24:55.173 --> 01:24:58.518
Hello! Mummy's home!

1354
01:25:02.139 --> 01:25:03.766
Where's my bubbies?

1355
01:25:08.437 --> 01:25:11.031
(EXCITED LAUGHTER R)

1356
01:25:25.871 --> 01:25:29.216
- Hiya, bubbies!
- BOYS: Again, again!

1357
01:25:29.374 --> 01:25:32.127
- CHERRY: Look! Mummy's here.
- BOY: My turn! Again!

1358
01:25:32.294 --> 01:25:34.467
- More, more!
- More, more!

1359
01:25:34.630 --> 01:25:36.928
- BOY: More, more!
- (CHERRY LAUGHS)

1360
01:25:38.300 --> 01:25:39.267
Hi.

1361
01:25:39.426 --> 01:25:41.645
BOY: My turn again!

1362
01:25:41.803 --> 01:25:43.396
He's not wearing any wings.

1363
01:25:43.555 --> 01:25:46.650
Oh, yeah. I...
I just suggested it, and...

1364
01:25:46.808 --> 01:25:48.481
I hope you don't mind.
I just...

1365
01:25:48.644 --> 01:25:50.396
We just thought we'd save them for special days.

1366
01:25:50.562 --> 01:25:53.566
- Is that alright?
- Of course.

1367
01:25:54.608 --> 01:25:56.952
Where's their father?

1368
01:26:03.867 --> 01:26:06.666
- Hi.
- Hey.

1369
01:26:06.828 --> 01:26:09.957
I know you're angry with me.
I know why.

1370
01:26:11.083 --> 01:26:12.801
I had no choice.

1371
01:26:12.959 --> 01:26:15.712
That's it?
That's the apology?

1372
01:26:15.879 --> 01:26:19.383
I was desperate for some sort of contact.

1373
01:26:19.549 --> 01:26:21.472
So that makes it OK to expose our kids

1374
01:26:21.635 --> 01:26:23.763
to every perv and weirdo who decided to log on?

1375
01:26:23.929 --> 01:26:25.931
No, that was a mistake -
I left the web cam on

1376
01:26:26.098 --> 01:26:27.850
to keep an eye on the nanny, that's all.

1377
01:26:28.016 --> 01:26:30.235
As soon as I knew everyone was watching, I called you.

1378
01:26:30.394 --> 01:26:31.611
- Who's the bloke?
- What bloke'?

1379
01:26:31.770 --> 01:26:33.363
Oh, come on, Elspeth.
Don't do this.

1380
01:26:33.522 --> 01:26:36.241
- Rory? He's just a friend.
- Not Rory, Neil.

1381
01:26:36.400 --> 01:26:37.902
- Who's Rory?
- Neil?

1382
01:26:38.068 --> 01:26:39.661
Yeah, Neil, who sent you perfume.

1383
01:26:39.820 --> 01:26:41.197
Neil sent me perfume?

1384
01:26:41.363 --> 01:26:43.991
Oh, well...
He's just a boy, Jimmy.

1385
01:26:44.157 --> 01:26:45.409
He helped me install the web cam.

1386
01:26:45.575 --> 01:26:47.043
Why would he send you perfume?

1387
01:26:47.202 --> 01:26:49.751
Because I smell?
I don't know.

1388
01:26:49.913 --> 01:26:51.631
So who's this Rory?

1389
01:26:51.790 --> 01:26:53.258
Nobody.

1390
01:26:53.417 --> 01:26:55.636
I'm sorry everyone got to watch you,

1391
01:26:55.794 --> 01:26:57.796
but I'm not sorry that I got to watch you,

1392
01:26:57.963 --> 01:26:59.510
because I fell in love with you.

1393
01:26:59.673 --> 01:27:01.926
I didn't even know I'd fallen out of love with you

1394
01:27:02.092 --> 01:27:03.639
until I fell in love with you again,

1395
01:27:03.802 --> 01:27:05.349
but that's what happened, Jimmy.

1396
01:27:05.512 --> 01:27:07.139
I love you.

1397
01:27:07.305 --> 01:27:08.682
(FOGHORN BLARES)

1398
01:27:08.849 --> 01:27:11.693
- (WHISTLE BLOWS)
- MAN: James!

1399
01:27:18.483 --> 01:27:20.986
How do I know you won't fall out of love with me again?

1400
01:27:21.153 --> 01:27:23.326
I won't.

1401
01:27:27.451 --> 01:27:29.044
ELSPETH: I won't!

1402
01:27:32.873 --> 01:27:39.006
(SINGS)
♪ if the polar ice is really melting

1403
01:27:41.965 --> 01:27:47.222
♪ If icebergs crack and tear apart

1404
01:27:50.724 --> 01:27:56.356
♪ If glaciers tumble to the ocean

1405
01:27:56.521 --> 01:28:00.116
♪ Why can't I melt

1406
01:28:00.275 --> 01:28:04.746
♪ The ice around your heart?

1407
01:28:04.905 --> 01:28:08.159
♪ For as you sail away

1408
01:28:08.325 --> 01:28:13.707
♪ Your heart grows ever colder

1409
01:28:15.832 --> 01:28:23.262
♪ And even in the warm and changing sea

1410
01:28:24.674 --> 01:28:27.723
♪ And falling down

1411
01:28:27.886 --> 01:28:33.143
♪ Onto the lonely seabed

1412
01:28:33.308 --> 01:28:37.029
♪ ls a heart that once belonged

1413
01:28:37.187 --> 01:28:40.282
<i>ITQ me</i>

1414
01:28:40.440 --> 01:28:42.943
(JAMES AND ELSPETH SING)
♪ Where are the stars?

1415
01:28:43.109 --> 01:28:45.328
♪ Where is the sky?

1416
01:28:45.487 --> 01:28:49.663
♪ Where is the chart to guide us by?

1417
01:28:49.825 --> 01:28:51.418
♪ Where is the map?

1418
01:28:51.576 --> 01:28:54.580
♪ Where is the part

1419
01:28:54.746 --> 01:29:02.255
♪ Where I warm your frozen heart?

1420
01:29:04.798 --> 01:29:09.975
JAMES: ♪ Your parting words
are now an echo

1421
01:29:12.973 --> 01:29:18.275
♪ Now angry silence
says it all... ♪

1422
01:29:18.436 --> 01:29:20.484
(WHALE snues)

1423
01:29:22.148 --> 01:29:28.121
JAMES: ♪ Don't want to lose you
to the distance

1424
01:29:29.698 --> 01:29:32.952
♪ Baby, just hold onto me

1425
01:29:33.118 --> 01:29:36.793
♪ And we won't fall

1426
01:29:36.955 --> 01:29:40.710
♪ And as I sail away

1427
01:29:40.876 --> 01:29:46.007
♪ Your heart grows ever colder

1428
01:29:47.424 --> 01:29:55.104
♪ Shifting on
an ever-changing sea

1429
01:29:55.265 --> 01:29:59.395
BOTH: ♪ Where are the stars?
Where is the sky?

1430
01:29:59.561 --> 01:30:03.907
♪ Where is the chart to guide us by?

1431
01:30:04.065 --> 01:30:05.817
♪ Where is the map?

1432
01:30:05.984 --> 01:30:08.658
♪ Where is the part

1433
01:30:08.820 --> 01:30:14.748
♪ Where I warm your frozen heart?

1434
01:30:14.910 --> 01:30:17.004
♪ Where is the sky?

1435
01:30:17.162 --> 01:30:21.167
I Where are the stars to guide me by?

1436
01:30:21.333 --> 01:30:23.051
♪ Where is the map?

1437
01:30:23.209 --> 01:30:25.837
♪ Where is the part

1438
01:30:26.004 --> 01:30:34.004
♪ Where I warm your frozen heart?

1439
01:30:34.846 --> 01:30:41.525
♪ If the polar ice is really melting

1440
01:30:44.940 --> 01:30:49.992
♪ if icebergs crack and tear apart

1441
01:30:53.657 --> 01:30:59.255
♪ If glaciers tumble to the ocean

1442
01:30:59.412 --> 01:31:03.292
♪ Why can't I melt

1443
01:31:03.458 --> 01:31:08.589
♪ The ice
around your heart? ♪

1444
01:31:08.755 --> 01:31:11.884
(ANGUISHED WHALE SONG)

1445
01:31:13.301 --> 01:31:15.269
What is that?
What's wrong with it?

1446
01:31:19.432 --> 01:31:22.356
BOY: Hey, that's mine!
That's mine!

1447
01:31:27.816 --> 01:31:30.114
- Welcome home.
- Neil! Hi.

1448
01:31:30.276 --> 01:31:32.620
Thanks.

1449
01:31:32.779 --> 01:31:35.032
- Did you get my present...
- Excuse me.

1450
01:31:35.198 --> 01:31:37.917
- Aren't you that girl?
- Uh, no.

1451
01:31:38.076 --> 01:31:41.626
WOMAN: You are. You're Elspeth.
I loved your show.

1452
01:31:41.788 --> 01:31:43.415
We were on the edge of our seats wondering

1453
01:31:43.581 --> 01:31:44.958
if James was gonna bonk that nanny.

1454
01:31:45.125 --> 01:31:47.594
WOMAN: Why'd you stop?

1455
01:31:47.752 --> 01:31:51.347
Um, technical difficulties.

1456
01:31:51.506 --> 01:31:53.600
So, what are you doing now?

1457
01:31:53.758 --> 01:31:55.806
Shopping-

1458
01:31:59.055 --> 01:32:01.934
WOMAN ON P.A.: Neil! Clean-up
in aisle five, please.

1459
01:32:03.059 --> 01:32:06.063
- Neil! Clean-up in aisle five.
- Coming!

1460
01:32:09.149 --> 01:32:13.370
WOMAN: Apparently, he just
packed up and moved out.

1461
01:32:13.528 --> 01:32:15.155
- With the babysitter?
- No, not Cherry.

1462
01:32:15.321 --> 01:32:17.164
- She's starting her own show.
- Oh, I heard that.

1463
01:32:17.323 --> 01:32:19.746
You know, I heard she knew about
the web cam the entire time.

1464
01:32:19.909 --> 01:32:21.707
No! I don't believe that.

1465
01:32:22.746 --> 01:32:25.295
- Speak of the devil.
- Oh, my God.

1466
01:32:28.084 --> 01:32:30.428
- Elspeth?
- Poor thing.

1467
01:32:30.587 --> 01:32:35.514
Hi! It's Sophie,
from mothers group. Remember?

1468
01:32:35.675 --> 01:32:37.928
Do you want to have a coffee with us later or something?

1469
01:32:38.094 --> 01:32:41.689
Um... my ice-cream
is melting.

1470
01:32:43.808 --> 01:32:46.231
(DISTANT WHALE SONG)

1471
01:32:53.902 --> 01:32:56.906
(WHALE SONG GROWS CLOSER)

1472
01:33:04.954 --> 01:33:06.922
(WHALE SONG CONTINUES)

1473
01:33:30.980 --> 01:33:33.608
BOY: Daddy!

1474
01:33:38.780 --> 01:33:40.703
(WHALE some STOPS)

1475
01:33:40.865 --> 01:33:44.961
I recorded that this morning.
It's a humpback.

1476
01:33:45.120 --> 01:33:46.918
Nobody knows exactly why he's doing it.

1477
01:33:47.080 --> 01:33:48.957
I think it's 'cause he's lost his mate.

1478
01:33:49.124 --> 01:33:51.923
I think he's trying to find his way back to her.

1479
01:33:52.085 --> 01:33:54.133
And nothing's gonna stop him

1480
01:33:54.295 --> 01:33:56.764
until he finds her again, 'cause she's...

1481
01:33:59.676 --> 01:34:02.475
...everything in the world
to him.

1482
01:34:45.889 --> 01:34:48.859
Ah!
(LAUGHS)

1483
01:34:59.777 --> 01:35:01.779
(JAMES CHUCKLES)

1484
01:35:10.705 --> 01:35:13.504
Daddy, Fred done poo!

1485
01:35:15.752 --> 01:35:18.881
(BOTH LAUGH)

1486
01:35:23.134 --> 01:35:26.183
- BOYS: Poo!
- Oh, good man!

1487
01:35:26.346 --> 01:35:28.974
- Well done!
- You've done a poo! Thank God!

1488
01:35:29.140 --> 01:35:30.733
- Fred, thank God.
- Good boy.

1489
01:35:30.892 --> 01:35:33.771
Good stuff. Well done.

1490
01:35:33.937 --> 01:35:35.655
Oh, I'm proud of you.

1491
01:35:35.813 --> 01:35:38.487
ELSPETH:
He still burns the toast.

1492
01:35:38.650 --> 01:35:41.620
He's mastered the ancient art of sock sorting.

1493
01:35:42.862 --> 01:35:44.535
He's really trying.

1494
01:35:44.697 --> 01:35:46.995
When he's away, he logs on.

1495
01:35:47.158 --> 01:35:50.833
He sees me.
He hears my sink songs.

1496
01:35:50.995 --> 01:35:53.168
Which, of course, you're all welcome to do.

1497
01:35:54.207 --> 01:35:57.677
(SINGS)
♪ Welcome to my kitchen sink

1498
01:35:57.835 --> 01:36:02.341
♪ This is where I stop and think

1499
01:36:02.507 --> 01:36:06.228
♪ Where I'm often on the brink

1500
01:36:06.386 --> 01:36:09.606
♪ Of madness... ♪

1501
01:36:09.764 --> 01:36:11.141
And if you're in the neighbourhood,

1502
01:36:11.307 --> 01:36:12.900
drop by and see us in the barn.

1503
01:36:13.059 --> 01:36:15.733
Details are on the website.
See you next week.

1504
01:36:15.895 --> 01:36:20.275
- ♪ Welcome to my washing-up
- ♪ Welcome to my washing-up

1505
01:36:20.441 --> 01:36:24.787
- ♪ My 40,000th coffee cup
- ♪ Her 40,000th coffee cup

1506
01:36:24.946 --> 01:36:28.667
♪ A place which knows my every sulk

1507
01:36:28.825 --> 01:36:32.796
- ♪ And sadness
- ♪ And sadness

1508
01:36:44.507 --> 01:36:46.726
♪ Here I'm stuck night after night

1509
01:36:46.884 --> 01:36:48.852
♪ Here I plot revenge and flight

1510
01:36:49.012 --> 01:36:53.108
♪ Here's the scene of wifely compromise

1511
01:36:55.476 --> 01:36:59.106
♪ Pine O Cleen and Lemon Gleam

1512
01:36:59.272 --> 01:37:03.322
♪ The kitchen sink is where I dream

1513
01:37:03.484 --> 01:37:11.164
♪ And where I fantastic. ♪

1514
01:37:11.326 --> 01:37:13.829
♪ Meet at five at Party Land

1515
01:37:13.995 --> 01:37:16.418
♪ Ring the changes
♪ Bring the band

1516
01:37:16.581 --> 01:37:20.256
♪ Come with me, dance with me, hand to hand

1517
01:37:20.418 --> 01:37:23.672
♪ Let's all have a party

1518
01:37:23.838 --> 01:37:27.684
♪ No fussing and no fighting

1519
01:37:27.842 --> 01:37:31.016
♪ And everyone's invited

1520
01:37:31.179 --> 01:37:34.353
♪ The loving's double-sided

1521
01:37:34.515 --> 01:37:36.984
♪ The circuit's overriding

1522
01:37:37.143 --> 01:37:40.397
♪ The cells are all dividing
♪ It's getting quite exciting

1523
01:37:40.563 --> 01:37:43.282
♪ The babes are all arriving

1524
01:37:43.441 --> 01:37:47.116
♪ Watch and learn
♪ Touch and yearn

1525
01:37:47.278 --> 01:37:51.749
♪ Boy, we're gonna make you burn, burn, burn

1526
01:37:51.908 --> 01:37:54.957
♪ Let's all have a party

1527
01:37:55.119 --> 01:37:58.419
♪ No fussing and no fighting

1528
01:37:58.581 --> 01:38:02.131
♪ And everyone's invited

1529
01:38:02.293 --> 01:38:05.843
♪ The loving's double-sided

1530
01:38:22.563 --> 01:38:25.533
♪ Join at the hip
♪ Slide and dip

1531
01:38:25.691 --> 01:38:28.911
♪ Let it all rip
♪ Work it out and flip

1532
01:38:29.070 --> 01:38:32.700
♪ Join at the hip
♪ Slide and dip

1533
01:38:32.865 --> 01:38:36.290
♪ Let it all rip
♪ Work it out and ﬂip... ♪

1534
01:38:36.452 --> 01:38:39.581
(RHYTHMIC CLAPPING)

1535
01:38:52.009 --> 01:38:55.604
♪ Lady, get what you want
♪ Gentleman, what you want

1536
01:38:55.763 --> 01:38:58.812
♪ Baby, get what you want
♪ Baby, get what you need

1537
01:38:58.975 --> 01:39:01.103
♪ Lady, get what you want

1538
01:39:01.269 --> 01:39:03.897
♪ Gentleman, what you want
♪ Baby, get what you want

1539
01:39:04.063 --> 01:39:06.566
♪ Baby, get what you need

1540
01:39:06.732 --> 01:39:10.236
♪ Lady, get what you want
♪ Gentleman, what you want

1541
01:39:10.403 --> 01:39:12.121
♪ Baby, get what you want

1542
01:39:12.280 --> 01:39:14.157
♪ Baby, get what you need. ♪

1543
01:39:31.090 --> 01:39:32.933
(RONAN KEATING SINGS)
♪ I get up, go to work

1544
01:39:33.092 --> 01:39:34.810
♪ Put a smile on my face

1545
01:39:34.969 --> 01:39:37.643
♪ Don't know if the world's gonna give me an ace

1546
01:39:37.805 --> 01:39:42.561
♪ But it's alright if you're with me

1547
01:39:44.145 --> 01:39:47.615
♪ I look up to the sky, see the rain up ahead

1548
01:39:47.773 --> 01:39:50.993
♪ Didn't bring my umbrella, so I'm bound to get wet

1549
01:39:51.152 --> 01:39:55.532
♪ But it's alright if you're with me

1550
01:39:57.283 --> 01:40:00.537
♪ It's alright when I know that you're with me

1551
01:40:00.703 --> 01:40:03.377
♪ It's alright when I know that you're close

1552
01:40:03.539 --> 01:40:07.260
♪ I can't handle the world trying to ruin my mood

1553
01:40:07.418 --> 01:40:11.173
♪ 'Cause it ain't gonna work

1554
01:40:17.220 --> 01:40:20.394
I Back up, take a train all the way outta town

1555
01:40:20.556 --> 01:40:23.856
♪ Can't breathe when there's so many people around

1556
01:40:24.018 --> 01:40:28.319
♪ But it's alright if you're with me

1557
01:40:30.191 --> 01:40:33.195
♪ It's alright when I know that you're with me

1558
01:40:33.361 --> 01:40:36.740
♪ It's alright when I know that you're close

1559
01:40:36.906 --> 01:40:40.126
♪ I can't handle the world trying to ruin my mood

1560
01:40:40.284 --> 01:40:44.039
♪ 'Cause it ain't gonna work

1561
01:40:56.467 --> 01:40:59.721
♪ It's alright when I know that you're with me

1562
01:40:59.887 --> 01:41:03.061
♪ It's alright when I know that you're close

1563
01:41:03.224 --> 01:41:06.273
♪ I can't handle the world trying to ruin my mood

1564
01:41:06.435 --> 01:41:09.609
♪ 'Cause it ain't gonna work

1565
01:41:09.772 --> 01:41:12.946
♪ It's alright when I know that you're with me

1566
01:41:13.109 --> 01:41:16.113
♪ It's alright when I know that you're close

1567
01:41:16.279 --> 01:41:19.658
♪ I can't handle the world trying to ruin my mood

1568
01:41:19.824 --> 01:41:24.250
♪ 'Cause it ain't
gonna work. ♪

1569
01:41:56.444 --> 01:41:59.072
(RONAN KEATING SINGS)
♪ If you didn't do what you wanted to

1570
01:41:59.238 --> 01:42:02.708
♪ If you only did what everybody told you

1571
01:42:02.867 --> 01:42:05.245
♪ What would you be?

1572
01:42:05.411 --> 01:42:08.961
♪ You will always try
♪ You will always fly

1573
01:42:09.123 --> 01:42:12.172
♪ You will always look a tiger in the eye

1574
01:42:12.335 --> 01:42:15.054
♪ Take it from me

1575
01:42:15.212 --> 01:42:21.219
♪ I see in your eyes there's a movie of dreams

1576
01:42:21.385 --> 01:42:26.186
♪ See there is more to you than it first seems

1577
01:42:26.349 --> 01:42:31.105
♪ See you are brighter than all the moonbeams

1578
01:42:31.270 --> 01:42:33.238
♪ You know

1579
01:42:35.399 --> 01:42:40.280
♪ For you light up the darkness
♪ You glow

1580
01:42:40.446 --> 01:42:43.416
♪ Don't give up
♪ Don't give in

1581
01:42:43.574 --> 01:42:45.997
♪ Don't let go

1582
01:42:48.871 --> 01:42:51.545
♪ If you never say what you want to say

1583
01:42:51.707 --> 01:42:55.337
♪ If you only do it everybody else's way

1584
01:42:55.503 --> 01:42:58.177
♪ Who would you be?

1585
01:42:58.339 --> 01:43:01.639
♪ If you never shout
♪ If you never doubt

1586
01:43:01.801 --> 01:43:05.431
♪ If you never rock the boat until we all fall out

1587
01:43:05.596 --> 01:43:07.940
♪ Do it for me

1588
01:43:08.099 --> 01:43:13.651
♪ For when you are quiet, it troubles my mind

1589
01:43:13.771 --> 01:43:18.868
♪ Though life is sometimes bitter as a lemon rind

1590
01:43:19.026 --> 01:43:21.199
I You'll have a voice

1591
01:43:21.362 --> 01:43:23.660
♪ That is one of a kind

1592
01:43:23.823 --> 01:43:25.871
♪ You know

1593
01:43:28.160 --> 01:43:32.791
♪ Oh, you light up the darkness
♪ You glow

1594
01:43:32.957 --> 01:43:36.052
♪ Don't give up
♪ Don't give in

1595
01:43:36.210 --> 01:43:40.886
♪ Don't let go. ♪