1
00:00:59,976 --> 00:01:01,435
Must you? Just here?

2
00:01:01,519 --> 00:01:04,313
... three, two, one!

3
00:01:04,397 --> 00:01:06,398
Happy New Year!

4
00:01:48,900 --> 00:01:50,234
I do.

5
00:01:52,403 --> 00:01:55,906
It now gives me
great pleasure to pronounce you...

6
00:01:58,660 --> 00:01:59,660
Excuse me.

7
00:02:12,465 --> 00:02:14,925
You all right?

8
00:02:15,385 --> 00:02:17,469
I'm fine.

9
00:02:17,554 --> 00:02:20,139
- Something lodged?
- Nothing.

10
00:02:20,223 --> 00:02:21,807
- Water.
- What?

11
00:02:21,891 --> 00:02:23,725
A glass of water, please.

12
00:02:23,810 --> 00:02:25,853
- Where's the water?
- I don't know.

13
00:02:30,650 --> 00:02:32,442
Oh, dear.

14
00:02:32,527 --> 00:02:34,361
He's getting it from the font!

15
00:02:35,155 --> 00:02:36,321
Mmm.

16
00:02:44,497 --> 00:02:46,456
Jesus Christ. Sorry.

17
00:02:48,168 --> 00:02:50,419
- So sorry. Where were we?
- "I now pronounce you."

18
00:02:50,461 --> 00:02:52,838
- I now pronounce you.
- Yeah.

19
00:02:56,176 --> 00:02:59,553
- No, thank you.
- I now pronounce you...

20
00:02:59,637 --> 00:03:02,014
...husband and wife.

21
00:03:09,606 --> 00:03:10,606
Look at them.

22
00:03:10,690 --> 00:03:13,525
- Aren't they adorable?
- Yes.

23
00:03:14,319 --> 00:03:16,528
I give it a year.

24
00:03:34,214 --> 00:03:35,631
And for those of you
who don't know me,

25
00:03:35,715 --> 00:03:37,716
and especially if we meet
in the bar later,

26
00:03:37,800 --> 00:03:40,219
my name is,
"Danny Do-you-want-a-pint?"

27
00:03:40,803 --> 00:03:42,888
"Danny Do-you-want-a-pint?"

28
00:03:43,431 --> 00:03:44,973
Fornication...

29
00:03:45,600 --> 00:03:46,808
I'll read that again.

30
00:03:46,893 --> 00:03:48,435
For an occasion...

31
00:03:48,519 --> 00:03:49,561
like this,

32
00:03:49,646 --> 00:03:52,773
I want to make sure I keep up
the traditions of being a best man.

33
00:03:52,857 --> 00:03:55,817
Apparently I need to get the groom
to the church on time. Tick.

34
00:03:55,902 --> 00:03:58,445
I need to remember the rings. Did that.
And I need to...

35
00:03:58,529 --> 00:04:00,948
have sex with a bridesmaid. Wahey!

36
00:04:02,575 --> 00:04:05,911
I... To be fair, I wrote these, um...
before I knew they...

37
00:04:06,037 --> 00:04:07,788
I would never have sex with a...

38
00:04:07,872 --> 00:04:09,998
Maybe when they're older.
Never say never.

39
00:04:10,083 --> 00:04:12,251
And keep away from Paedo Rog! Ha-ha!

40
00:04:12,335 --> 00:04:13,752
All right, Paedo?
Nice to have you.

41
00:04:13,836 --> 00:04:15,420
He's come a long way. Good lad.

42
00:04:16,089 --> 00:04:19,841
It's great to see so many people turn up
to see Josh finally tie the knot.

43
00:04:19,926 --> 00:04:21,385
And about time, too.

44
00:04:21,469 --> 00:04:23,595
Nat's got it all.
She's brilliantly clever,

45
00:04:23,680 --> 00:04:26,056
apparently really delivers
in the bedroom.

46
00:04:26,140 --> 00:04:28,850
Like mother like daughter, eh?
He knows what I'm talking about.

47
00:04:28,935 --> 00:04:29,935
And I don't know about you,

48
00:04:30,019 --> 00:04:32,604
but I feel she could easily be a model,
I think we'll agree,

49
00:04:32,939 --> 00:04:34,982
if it wasn't for her nose.

50
00:04:35,483 --> 00:04:37,526
When I first saw her beaver...

51
00:04:37,610 --> 00:04:39,528
...ing away... Beavering away,

52
00:04:39,612 --> 00:04:41,697
cooking Josh a meal,
I knew she was a real catch.

53
00:04:42,323 --> 00:04:45,450
Um, I've got no idea why
her previous boyfriend cheated on her,

54
00:04:45,535 --> 00:04:46,952
but, uh, I'm glad he did.

55
00:04:47,036 --> 00:04:48,495
Cheers to him, wherever he may be.

56
00:04:48,579 --> 00:04:50,163
Probably shagging.

57
00:04:50,248 --> 00:04:52,541
But, uh, no. Um, seriously, Nat.

58
00:04:52,625 --> 00:04:54,751
You're a real eight out of ten, love.
I mean that sincerely.

59
00:04:55,128 --> 00:04:57,462
And we're delighted you and Josh
have found each other.

60
00:04:57,547 --> 00:04:59,548
So, everyone, please,
raise your glasses

61
00:04:59,966 --> 00:05:02,384
as we say a little toast
to Nat and Josh.

62
00:05:02,593 --> 00:05:04,553
To Nat and Josh!

63
00:05:09,976 --> 00:05:11,560
Nat is literally gonna be cringing
right now.

64
00:05:11,644 --> 00:05:13,979
She hates being the centre of attention.

65
00:05:14,063 --> 00:05:16,690
It is impossible to imagine anyone

66
00:05:16,774 --> 00:05:19,609
looking more beautiful
than you do today, Nat.

67
00:05:19,694 --> 00:05:21,987
And I know how much you love
being the centre of attention.

68
00:05:22,071 --> 00:05:23,697
That's just one of the things
that makes us so different.

69
00:05:23,990 --> 00:05:25,407
Because I'm a thinker, you're a doer.

70
00:05:25,908 --> 00:05:28,076
I'm laissez-faire, you're anal.

71
00:05:28,161 --> 00:05:29,202
Hey, you dirty sod!

72
00:05:30,163 --> 00:05:31,246
On you go.

73
00:05:31,331 --> 00:05:33,123
I think it's fine for a man
to wear Crocs,

74
00:05:33,207 --> 00:05:35,917
and you've made it abundantly clear
you do not.

75
00:05:37,545 --> 00:05:38,587
I know it's only been seven months,

76
00:05:38,671 --> 00:05:42,799
and some of you think that we're crazy
for getting married, but...

77
00:05:43,468 --> 00:05:47,971
all I know is,
from the first moment I saw you,

78
00:05:48,056 --> 00:05:50,682
I knew that yours was the only face

79
00:05:51,476 --> 00:05:52,726
and the only voice...

80
00:05:53,353 --> 00:05:55,979
- that I would ever need again.
- Aw!

81
00:05:56,064 --> 00:05:57,689
'Cause in that moment,
everything just changed.

82
00:05:57,774 --> 00:06:00,984
Everything just seemed to fit
so perfectly.

83
00:06:01,069 --> 00:06:02,611
Wahey!

84
00:06:03,196 --> 00:06:06,031
And I'm so lucky that I feel like
I'm only just getting to know you.

85
00:06:09,077 --> 00:06:10,744
Ladies and gentlemen,

86
00:06:11,496 --> 00:06:12,621
here's to us.

87
00:06:14,040 --> 00:06:16,249
- Here's to us.
- Cheers!

88
00:06:39,023 --> 00:06:40,607
Are you happy?

89
00:06:40,900 --> 00:06:42,401
The happiest.

90
00:06:43,569 --> 00:06:46,196
The best two hours and 36 minutes
of my life.

91
00:06:50,326 --> 00:06:52,786
You know, I had this terrible fear

92
00:06:52,870 --> 00:06:56,248
that you were gonna
do some sort of novelty dance.

93
00:07:04,424 --> 00:07:06,758
Get it on quickly, get it on quickly.
I'm so sorry, Nat.

94
00:07:40,168 --> 00:07:42,085
- You can't say those things.
- Don't be a player hater.

95
00:07:42,170 --> 00:07:44,296
Seriously, mate.
Don't hate the player, hate the game.

96
00:07:44,422 --> 00:07:45,464
Am I right? Put it there, mate.

97
00:07:49,552 --> 00:07:51,261
- Ready?
- Yeah.

98
00:08:09,113 --> 00:08:11,239
Aw. That's nice.

99
00:08:14,952 --> 00:08:17,954
Listen, son, you know
it's not easy, don't you?

100
00:08:18,664 --> 00:08:21,583
- The first year is the worst.
- Okay.

101
00:08:21,667 --> 00:08:23,084
- It's true.
- Thank you.

102
00:08:23,169 --> 00:08:24,920
If you can make it through
the first year of marriage,

103
00:08:25,004 --> 00:08:27,714
- you can make it through anything.
- Yeah.

104
00:08:28,424 --> 00:08:30,759
You know, there were times
when your father was late home

105
00:08:30,843 --> 00:08:33,595
- I used to fantasise he'd been killed.
- Did you?

106
00:08:33,679 --> 00:08:35,013
- Mmm.
- That's nice.

107
00:08:35,097 --> 00:08:36,932
Oh, in my mind, it was always the IRA.

108
00:08:37,183 --> 00:08:38,558
Strange, strange.

109
00:08:38,601 --> 00:08:40,769
But things got better
because we love each other.

110
00:08:41,145 --> 00:08:43,063
Tremendous, tremendous.

111
00:08:51,864 --> 00:08:53,865
- Shall we go, yeah? This is weird.
- Yes, it's a bit weird.

112
00:08:59,080 --> 00:09:01,039
Unbelievable. Just unbelievable.

113
00:09:10,216 --> 00:09:12,884
- So, that was nine months ago.
- Mmm.

114
00:09:13,386 --> 00:09:17,138
And I think even then
we knew instinctively

115
00:09:17,223 --> 00:09:18,515
something wasn't quite right.

116
00:09:18,599 --> 00:09:20,725
You realised you'd married
beneath yourself.

117
00:09:21,185 --> 00:09:23,395
You thought you could be
with someone better-looking,

118
00:09:23,521 --> 00:09:26,147
better body,
perhaps a professional man?

119
00:09:26,232 --> 00:09:27,816
- Uh, no.
- No.

120
00:09:27,900 --> 00:09:32,696
No, no, I think we were both in love
with the idea of being in love.

121
00:09:33,698 --> 00:09:37,826
You know, and we're at that age
where we're ready to find "the one".

122
00:09:37,910 --> 00:09:40,328
And don't tell me, Josh,
you opened that closet door,

123
00:09:40,413 --> 00:09:41,705
didn't want to live that lie any more.

124
00:09:41,956 --> 00:09:43,456
I picked up on it
the moment you sat down.

125
00:09:43,541 --> 00:09:46,084
Tricks of the trade.
You know, you can tell by the shoes.

126
00:09:47,295 --> 00:09:50,297
No! Oh, Christ, no, no, no, no,
I'm completely straight.

127
00:09:50,715 --> 00:09:52,382
Couldn't be less gay.
I mean, I don't even like...

128
00:09:52,466 --> 00:09:54,217
touching my own penis.

129
00:09:57,096 --> 00:09:59,139
Right, so were there
terrible sexual problems?

130
00:09:59,348 --> 00:10:01,975
Does he have tremendously niche desires?

131
00:10:02,435 --> 00:10:03,643
Did he want to touch you here?

132
00:10:06,939 --> 00:10:08,773
- Uh...
- Never with a pen.

133
00:10:11,110 --> 00:10:13,403
Look, Nat's amazing, obviously.
She's wonderful.

134
00:10:13,487 --> 00:10:15,614
And I think we both really want
to make this work.

135
00:10:15,698 --> 00:10:16,740
But is it possible

136
00:10:16,824 --> 00:10:19,200
that some people
just aren't supposed to be married?

137
00:10:19,285 --> 00:10:21,453
Truthfully, there's just something
in our marriage

138
00:10:21,537 --> 00:10:23,079
that hasn't quite...

139
00:10:23,164 --> 00:10:24,998
- Clicked.
...jelled.

140
00:10:31,672 --> 00:10:33,298
So? Was it like a dream?

141
00:10:33,382 --> 00:10:35,675
Well, we ticked every wedding box.

142
00:10:35,760 --> 00:10:38,595
Cake, sweaty uncles dancing to Queen.

143
00:10:38,679 --> 00:10:41,389
People we thought were dead
flying in from Canada.

144
00:10:41,474 --> 00:10:43,391
It was very wedding-y, right?

145
00:10:43,476 --> 00:10:44,809
It was so romantic.

146
00:10:44,894 --> 00:10:46,227
It was just like a Hugh Grant film.

147
00:10:46,437 --> 00:10:48,438
- It was amazing, wasn't it?
- Mmm!

148
00:10:48,522 --> 00:10:50,315
Did you like all the flowers?
We got the most...

149
00:10:50,399 --> 00:10:51,650
I'm sorry,

150
00:10:51,942 --> 00:10:53,568
but can we do this at lunch?

151
00:10:53,986 --> 00:10:55,612
- Right. Absolutely, Helen.
- Thanks.

152
00:10:55,696 --> 00:10:57,656
Ruthlessly efficient, as always.

153
00:10:57,740 --> 00:10:58,782
We should not be talking about

154
00:10:58,866 --> 00:11:00,742
- lace halter necks on company time.
- No.

155
00:11:01,744 --> 00:11:04,829
- What's the story?
- While you were on your holiday,

156
00:11:04,997 --> 00:11:06,206
I took the initiative

157
00:11:06,332 --> 00:11:08,541
and I started gathering ideas
for Guy Harrap.

158
00:11:08,918 --> 00:11:12,337
He's taken over his father's
industrial solvent and bleach empire.

159
00:11:12,421 --> 00:11:17,217
You weren't here, but he basically wants
to make solvents and bleach sexy.

160
00:11:17,301 --> 00:11:19,260
Fuck off.

161
00:11:21,430 --> 00:11:23,932
Is that
my dirty little slut of a wife?

162
00:11:24,809 --> 00:11:25,809
Hey!

163
00:11:25,893 --> 00:11:27,143
What are you doing?

164
00:11:27,228 --> 00:11:29,104
Uh, middle of a meeting. What's up?

165
00:11:29,313 --> 00:11:32,273
Maybe I'm just missing
the sexiest wife in the universe.

166
00:11:32,358 --> 00:11:35,568
- Not working today?
- I've got writer's block.

167
00:11:35,986 --> 00:11:39,948
I can't work out whether to call
my main character Ezra

168
00:11:40,199 --> 00:11:42,784
- or David.
- Um, David.

169
00:11:42,868 --> 00:11:44,536
I was at school with an Ezra
who got expelled

170
00:11:44,620 --> 00:11:45,954
for punching a swan in the throat.

171
00:11:46,038 --> 00:11:47,872
Who said the second novel
would be tricky?

172
00:11:48,916 --> 00:11:49,958
Anything else?

173
00:11:50,042 --> 00:11:52,794
No, no, no. I'll see you at three.

174
00:11:52,878 --> 00:11:54,379
Love...

175
00:11:54,964 --> 00:11:56,047
...you.

176
00:11:56,132 --> 00:11:58,800
Sorry, that was my husband.

177
00:11:58,884 --> 00:12:00,343
He has writer's block.

178
00:12:00,428 --> 00:12:02,303
Did I mention that
he was a writer, of books?

179
00:12:02,388 --> 00:12:04,431
- Only about a million times.
- Yeah, Clare mentioned it,

180
00:12:04,515 --> 00:12:06,683
but I've never heard of him.

181
00:12:11,105 --> 00:12:12,147
Sorry, sorry.

182
00:12:12,231 --> 00:12:14,482
You do realise you're not going
any faster than walking, don't you?

183
00:12:14,567 --> 00:12:16,651
You've got all the superficial
trappings of a run

184
00:12:16,736 --> 00:12:18,903
but there's people walking
much faster than you.

185
00:12:19,029 --> 00:12:21,239
You're just expending
a lot of surplus energy.

186
00:12:21,407 --> 00:12:23,408
Thank you for that analysis.

187
00:12:23,492 --> 00:12:24,784
How late are we?

188
00:12:24,869 --> 00:12:27,954
Well, you, my little friend,
are 10 minutes early.

189
00:12:28,038 --> 00:12:30,749
I told you the wrong time because I knew
you'd never be on schedule.

190
00:12:31,417 --> 00:12:33,501
- Right.
- Mmm!

191
00:12:33,586 --> 00:12:36,463
I'm just trying to work out
if I find that endearing

192
00:12:36,547 --> 00:12:40,091
or it makes me want to bludgeon you
to death with a shovel.

193
00:12:40,176 --> 00:12:41,843
- No, it's endearing.
- I think it's a shovel.

194
00:12:41,927 --> 00:12:44,095
- It's endearing.
- Do we have a shovel?

195
00:12:44,180 --> 00:12:47,432
Well, firstly, a hearty "mazoltov"
for your marriage.

196
00:12:48,267 --> 00:12:49,434
- I think it's "mazel tov", isn't it?
- Thank you.

197
00:12:49,769 --> 00:12:51,561
- Mmm?
- I always thought it was "mazel tov".

198
00:12:51,729 --> 00:12:53,104
I don't know, I'm not Jewish.

199
00:12:53,522 --> 00:12:54,564
Oh.

200
00:12:55,232 --> 00:12:59,778
But, as you know, whilst everything
may seem so happy now,

201
00:12:59,862 --> 00:13:02,197
of course you could be
struck down at any time.

202
00:13:02,281 --> 00:13:06,242
Cancer. Heart disease. Meningitis.

203
00:13:06,368 --> 00:13:07,994
Hit by a truck.

204
00:13:08,078 --> 00:13:09,496
Bam!

205
00:13:10,289 --> 00:13:14,250
I had a client who was kicked to death
by a group of disaffected youths

206
00:13:14,335 --> 00:13:15,710
high on meow meow.

207
00:13:15,795 --> 00:13:17,962
She'd just left the house
to get potatoes.

208
00:13:19,131 --> 00:13:20,632
- Just potatoes.
- Shit.

209
00:13:20,716 --> 00:13:21,966
And the tragedy was,

210
00:13:22,051 --> 00:13:23,843
she hadn't thought to make a will.

211
00:13:24,428 --> 00:13:26,596
Or a Tesco home delivery.

212
00:13:26,680 --> 00:13:27,806
What?

213
00:13:28,682 --> 00:13:29,808
Yeah.

214
00:13:30,476 --> 00:13:33,144
She was only identifiable
by her dental records.

215
00:13:34,188 --> 00:13:35,647
Why, what had they done to her?

216
00:13:35,731 --> 00:13:37,482
They'd made impressions of her teeth.

217
00:13:39,527 --> 00:13:41,444
Still, fortunately, you two have had
the presence of mind

218
00:13:41,529 --> 00:13:42,570
to plan for your future.

219
00:13:42,780 --> 00:13:45,031
So, have you considered
what would happen

220
00:13:45,115 --> 00:13:47,534
if either of you
fell into a persistent...

221
00:13:47,618 --> 00:13:50,286
- ... vegetatative state?
- A what, sorry?

222
00:13:50,371 --> 00:13:52,288
Persistent vegetatative state.

223
00:13:52,373 --> 00:13:55,041
Mmm.
One too many T's there. "Vegetative."

224
00:13:57,837 --> 00:14:00,630
Have you considered what would happen
if you fell into...

225
00:14:00,714 --> 00:14:01,798
one of these guys?

226
00:14:02,550 --> 00:14:04,551
Just pillow talk, really.

227
00:14:05,845 --> 00:14:07,929
No, I think we did decide
that we'd both like to be left to die.

228
00:14:08,180 --> 00:14:10,598
Excellent, yes.
We just switched off my aunt.

229
00:14:10,641 --> 00:14:12,225
- I'm sorry.
- Aw.

230
00:14:12,309 --> 00:14:14,310
No, it's all right.
It's no quality of life.

231
00:14:14,395 --> 00:14:15,979
And we freed up a socket
for a lava lamp.

232
00:14:16,272 --> 00:14:17,272
Ah.

233
00:14:17,356 --> 00:14:18,439
It's transformed the lounge.

234
00:14:18,524 --> 00:14:19,566
- Yeah?
- Yeah.

235
00:14:19,650 --> 00:14:20,942
Largely losing her, to be fair.

236
00:14:22,319 --> 00:14:25,280
Now, can we go through a few of these?
Just give me a yes or no.

237
00:14:25,364 --> 00:14:28,366
Are we switching the life support off?

238
00:14:28,450 --> 00:14:29,492
Brain dead?

239
00:14:30,578 --> 00:14:33,246
- Switch it off.
- Switch it off. Get it off.

240
00:14:33,956 --> 00:14:35,373
Locked-in syndrome?

241
00:14:36,208 --> 00:14:38,084
That's the one where you're paralysed
but you can still wink.

242
00:14:38,711 --> 00:14:39,919
It's all the...

243
00:14:40,546 --> 00:14:42,797
It's the dribble, isn't it,
that I couldn't handle.

244
00:14:42,882 --> 00:14:45,258
- Constantly mopping up phlegm.
- I wouldn't want that.

245
00:14:45,342 --> 00:14:47,218
You wouldn't want that.
That's why you're murdering your wife.

246
00:14:48,387 --> 00:14:49,470
So, are you switching it off?

247
00:14:49,555 --> 00:14:50,763
- Sorry, what are you doing?
- Off!

248
00:14:50,848 --> 00:14:52,140
- Switch it off, yeah.
- Off she goes!

249
00:14:52,224 --> 00:14:53,933
Night-night.

250
00:14:54,560 --> 00:14:58,271
Um, brain-damaged and vegetative.

251
00:14:58,355 --> 00:14:59,856
- Thank you.
- Mmm.

252
00:15:00,232 --> 00:15:01,774
Um, brain stem undamaged.

253
00:15:01,859 --> 00:15:04,736
So you're breathing,
you're swallowing, you're fine,

254
00:15:04,820 --> 00:15:07,822
but you are still literally
a shell of a person

255
00:15:07,907 --> 00:15:11,576
with no capacity
for any emotion or thought.

256
00:15:12,536 --> 00:15:14,370
Much like my Susan.

257
00:15:15,039 --> 00:15:16,247
My little joke.

258
00:15:18,792 --> 00:15:20,627
- Off, off.
- Off, yeah, off.

259
00:15:20,711 --> 00:15:24,589
Get that off, off, off, off!

260
00:15:26,133 --> 00:15:27,425
Well, this is slightly more depressing

261
00:15:27,509 --> 00:15:28,676
- than I'd imagined.
- Oh, no. Come one.

262
00:15:28,761 --> 00:15:30,970
And you haven't even
received my bill yet.

263
00:15:32,723 --> 00:15:34,140
That's a good 'un. That is a good 'un.

264
00:15:41,148 --> 00:15:43,650
An electric peppermill?

265
00:15:43,734 --> 00:15:45,568
I can't believe you got
an electric peppermill.

266
00:15:46,320 --> 00:15:48,488
We thought we had to have
at least one dinner party

267
00:15:48,572 --> 00:15:50,239
to use all the crap we got bought.

268
00:15:51,033 --> 00:15:52,367
At least that's a useful gift.

269
00:15:52,576 --> 00:15:54,369
D'you know what I mean?
I hate those gifts where someone says,

270
00:15:54,453 --> 00:15:55,495
"Do you know what I've done for you?

271
00:15:55,579 --> 00:15:56,955
"I've donated to charity
on your behalf."

272
00:15:57,039 --> 00:15:58,873
"Have you? Really?" Bollocks to that.

273
00:15:58,958 --> 00:16:01,459
If I'm getting married, why should some
African fella get a couple of goats?

274
00:16:01,543 --> 00:16:03,086
I want a fucking smoothie maker,
d'you know what I mean?

275
00:16:05,881 --> 00:16:08,216
- Did you get them goats?
- Four of them.

276
00:16:08,300 --> 00:16:09,342
- Four goats?
- Yeah.

277
00:16:09,426 --> 00:16:10,969
That's a lovely gift, that,
because they need goats.

278
00:16:13,055 --> 00:16:14,472
African fella's pleased.

279
00:16:15,432 --> 00:16:18,101
Go on, tell us about your honeymoon.

280
00:16:18,268 --> 00:16:20,812
It was lovely. It was idyllic.

281
00:16:20,896 --> 00:16:22,188
Morocco's beautiful.

282
00:16:22,272 --> 00:16:23,606
- Amazing place, yeah.
- Yeah.

283
00:16:23,691 --> 00:16:24,983
It was just a bit long, really.

284
00:16:25,067 --> 00:16:26,067
I was really sad when we came back.

285
00:16:26,151 --> 00:16:28,653
Well, things hit a low point
when we found ourselves

286
00:16:28,737 --> 00:16:30,905
in the Essaouira Museum
of Leather Manufacturing

287
00:16:31,532 --> 00:16:34,075
discussing if we had a superpower,
what would it be?

288
00:16:34,159 --> 00:16:37,161
I actually really enjoyed that.
I thought that was really fun.

289
00:16:37,246 --> 00:16:38,746
I think if I was
gonna have any superpower,

290
00:16:38,956 --> 00:16:40,581
it would be the ability
to speak Spanish.

291
00:16:40,708 --> 00:16:42,959
That would be amazing, wouldn't it?
Because you could say stuff like,

292
00:16:43,043 --> 00:16:45,586
- Hola, gazpacho.
- You just said it.

293
00:16:45,671 --> 00:16:47,171
- You're saying it now.
- Oh, wow.

294
00:16:47,256 --> 00:16:48,673
Hmm.

295
00:16:48,757 --> 00:16:51,092
Not strictly speaking a superpower,
though, is it, really?

296
00:16:51,176 --> 00:16:52,927
Otherwise everyone in Brazil
would be superheroes.

297
00:16:53,470 --> 00:16:54,554
Mmm, true.

298
00:16:54,930 --> 00:16:56,389
They speak Portuguese in Brazil.

299
00:16:57,474 --> 00:16:58,474
You cock.

300
00:17:00,811 --> 00:17:02,729
- Mmm?
- Keep it for the car.

301
00:17:02,813 --> 00:17:05,064
Um, so... Wait, so, Josh,

302
00:17:05,149 --> 00:17:07,066
- what did you choose?
- Boring, really. Super-strength.

303
00:17:07,151 --> 00:17:08,818
That's what I would choose, too!

304
00:17:09,069 --> 00:17:12,030
I think it would be so handy
to be able to open, like, jam jars.

305
00:17:12,114 --> 00:17:14,240
Jam jars! That's exactly...
Isn't that exactly what I said?

306
00:17:14,324 --> 00:17:16,743
- That's exactly what you said.
- That's exactly what I said.

307
00:17:16,827 --> 00:17:17,869
- That's so funny.
- That is so funny.

308
00:17:17,953 --> 00:17:20,705
Are we eight years old, all of a sudden?
This is what children talk about.

309
00:17:20,789 --> 00:17:22,248
All right, Nat, calm down,
we were only having a joke.

310
00:17:22,332 --> 00:17:23,499
Yeah, joke's over.

311
00:17:23,584 --> 00:17:26,085
Ooh. "Grounds for divorce dot com."

312
00:17:26,837 --> 00:17:30,298
Shut up, you "bell-end dot-co-dot-uk".

313
00:17:31,633 --> 00:17:33,217
To be honest, I'm not sure
you could get a divorce

314
00:17:33,302 --> 00:17:34,927
because I'm not even sure
you're officially married.

315
00:17:35,012 --> 00:17:36,262
Because they never officially split up.

316
00:17:40,350 --> 00:17:41,601
- What?
- What?

317
00:17:41,685 --> 00:17:42,852
They never officially split up.

318
00:17:42,936 --> 00:17:44,187
What are you talking about?

319
00:17:44,938 --> 00:17:47,815
You never officially broke up, did you?

320
00:17:48,192 --> 00:17:52,737
Yeah, actually it's, um...
it's pretty funny, really,

321
00:17:52,821 --> 00:17:56,949
because, um, when I left for Africa,

322
00:17:57,034 --> 00:17:58,701
we sort of never formally ended it.

323
00:17:58,786 --> 00:17:59,827
Never formal.

324
00:18:01,872 --> 00:18:03,998
We just sort of... We left it open.

325
00:18:04,083 --> 00:18:05,208
Wide open.

326
00:18:05,292 --> 00:18:06,501
Then I ended up
being gone for four years.

327
00:18:06,585 --> 00:18:09,003
- About four years...
- But what's four years, really?

328
00:18:14,384 --> 00:18:15,551
I've told you this.

329
00:18:16,720 --> 00:18:19,639
- Nat. Nat.
- Hmm?

330
00:18:19,723 --> 00:18:20,890
I've told you this.

331
00:18:23,560 --> 00:18:25,478
He wasn't happy, though,
I'll tell you, that time.

332
00:18:25,562 --> 00:18:28,981
Honestly, we used to refer to 2008
as the sort of... as the "lost year".

333
00:18:29,066 --> 00:18:31,150
- Mate.
- He would just sit there in his pants.

334
00:18:31,235 --> 00:18:33,945
You know, drinking and playing
Grand Theft Auto, masturbating.

335
00:18:34,071 --> 00:18:35,238
No!

336
00:18:35,322 --> 00:18:37,365
Sometimes all three at once.

337
00:18:37,449 --> 00:18:38,699
That's an impressive thing.
I couldn't do that.

338
00:18:38,784 --> 00:18:40,451
I could practise for ages,
I wouldn't be able to do that.

339
00:18:40,536 --> 00:18:41,577
Imagine that on Britain's Got Talent.

340
00:18:44,998 --> 00:18:49,127
Nat, I'm really sorry about that,
back there.

341
00:18:49,211 --> 00:18:50,419
I just... I thought that you knew.

342
00:18:50,504 --> 00:18:53,506
Oh, no, don't be silly.
It was years ago.

343
00:18:53,590 --> 00:18:56,717
2008, I was still using
"LOL" un-ironically

344
00:18:56,802 --> 00:18:57,844
and wearing ballet flats.

345
00:19:00,430 --> 00:19:02,723
Look at those.
You look really cute in those.

346
00:19:02,808 --> 00:19:04,934
- Thanks, thanks.
- Pretty.

347
00:19:05,602 --> 00:19:06,936
Um...

348
00:19:07,020 --> 00:19:09,438
Yeah, well, you know,
it really was a long time ago

349
00:19:09,523 --> 00:19:10,940
and we were both so young.

350
00:19:11,024 --> 00:19:13,067
We were so different back then.

351
00:19:13,152 --> 00:19:15,903
And now he's married
to the coolest woman on the planet.

352
00:19:15,988 --> 00:19:17,280
You're sweet.

353
00:19:17,364 --> 00:19:19,949
I thought,
"I've got it made, I married a doctor."

354
00:19:20,284 --> 00:19:22,034
And then you realise,
you're gonna wake up every day

355
00:19:22,119 --> 00:19:23,619
to the same hairy ears.

356
00:19:24,788 --> 00:19:27,123
The same slightly deformed
fungal toenail.

357
00:19:27,207 --> 00:19:28,791
And you're gonna have to
listen to that weird,

358
00:19:28,876 --> 00:19:30,710
ear-throat-clearing sound they make

359
00:19:30,794 --> 00:19:32,170
every day until you are dead.

360
00:19:35,799 --> 00:19:37,633
And the same penis.

361
00:19:38,677 --> 00:19:42,096
I may, literally,
never see another penis again.

362
00:19:43,015 --> 00:19:44,140
Unless it's a small child's.

363
00:19:45,767 --> 00:19:48,186
Or if you get sexually assaulted.

364
00:19:55,777 --> 00:19:59,280
And Josh's is lovely. You know,
we have an incredible sex life.

365
00:19:59,615 --> 00:20:01,532
But that's not the point, you know.

366
00:20:01,658 --> 00:20:03,576
I love Michael Jackson's
Off the Wall album.

367
00:20:03,660 --> 00:20:06,621
I wouldn't necessarily want to only
listen to that for the rest of my life.

368
00:20:06,705 --> 00:20:08,831
Yeah. Oh, honey, I've been there.

369
00:20:09,374 --> 00:20:11,417
I mean, you'll listen to it a lot
in the beginning.

370
00:20:11,501 --> 00:20:12,877
You'll listen to it
in all different sorts of places.

371
00:20:12,961 --> 00:20:14,837
You'll listen to it in the car,

372
00:20:14,922 --> 00:20:16,672
in the disabled toilet cubicle
in the McDonald's in Egham,

373
00:20:18,175 --> 00:20:20,092
in your unconscious granny's
hospital room.

374
00:20:20,928 --> 00:20:23,262
- Granny Mary?
- It's what she would have wanted.

375
00:20:24,640 --> 00:20:25,765
But then, you know,

376
00:20:25,849 --> 00:20:26,933
you're just gonna get to the point

377
00:20:27,017 --> 00:20:28,935
where you're not that bothered
about listening to music at all.

378
00:20:29,478 --> 00:20:31,562
You just play it on birthdays,

379
00:20:31,647 --> 00:20:34,023
or when you're very, very drunk.

380
00:20:34,483 --> 00:20:35,566
Or...

381
00:20:36,735 --> 00:20:38,402
if someone shows you
a Justin Bieber video

382
00:20:38,487 --> 00:20:39,654
when you're in the office

383
00:20:39,738 --> 00:20:43,532
and, you know, all you can
then think about is that.

384
00:20:45,619 --> 00:20:47,578
Isn't he, like, 15?

385
00:20:48,038 --> 00:20:49,622
Oh, he'd know what to do.

386
00:20:51,541 --> 00:20:53,709
I'd ruin Bieber.

387
00:20:54,169 --> 00:20:57,213
You would. You would ruin him.

388
00:20:59,633 --> 00:21:02,134
Fuck.
It's the soundtrack to my marriage.

389
00:21:02,219 --> 00:21:04,136
Don't get married, you.
Too late for you.

390
00:21:08,392 --> 00:21:09,934
Penny for them.

391
00:21:10,811 --> 00:21:13,145
Your thoughts. How you doing?

392
00:21:13,230 --> 00:21:14,647
Hey, Danny.

393
00:21:20,404 --> 00:21:22,113
Let's get the party started.

394
00:21:22,197 --> 00:21:24,240
Get comfy. Get comfy.

395
00:21:38,588 --> 00:21:41,048
You know, I shouldn't really tell you
this, but I was talking to Josh...

396
00:21:41,133 --> 00:21:42,800
...and, um,

397
00:21:43,260 --> 00:21:46,679
he said that the sex
between him and Nat

398
00:21:46,763 --> 00:21:48,055
is amazing.

399
00:21:48,140 --> 00:21:50,683
He said that it blows everything
he's had in the past out the water.

400
00:21:50,767 --> 00:21:51,976
Out of the water!

401
00:21:52,060 --> 00:21:55,730
- Wow. That is tremendous news.
- Tremendous news for him,

402
00:21:55,814 --> 00:21:57,106
- he's really pleased, yeah.
- It's... Yeah.

403
00:21:58,567 --> 00:22:00,776
I suppose that's not really your thing,
is it? Sex and sexiness.

404
00:22:00,944 --> 00:22:03,154
You're more...
How would you describe yourself?

405
00:22:03,905 --> 00:22:06,449
Kind of "kind," do you know what I mean?
Charitable.

406
00:22:08,118 --> 00:22:10,411
It's a shame, in a way,
that they couldn't put...

407
00:22:10,495 --> 00:22:14,040
your brain in her body. D'you know
what I mean? That would be amazing.

408
00:22:14,124 --> 00:22:16,083
Although what would you be left with?
You'd be left with, like...

409
00:22:16,168 --> 00:22:17,418
Ooh, you'd be left
with her brain in your body.

410
00:22:17,502 --> 00:22:20,546
Imagine that.
Just rampaging around, out of control.

411
00:22:20,630 --> 00:22:22,965
"What's that?

412
00:22:23,050 --> 00:22:24,175
"Oh, my God, it's like Frankenstein,

413
00:22:24,259 --> 00:22:26,635
"but with, like, boobs."

414
00:22:26,720 --> 00:22:29,972
Villagers coming out
with pitchforks and torches. "Kill it!"

415
00:22:30,807 --> 00:22:33,517
- It'd be just terrifying.
- It would be terrifying.

416
00:22:33,602 --> 00:22:35,478
It would be horrible.

417
00:22:35,604 --> 00:22:38,314
No. Joking, joking. I'd do you.

418
00:22:39,483 --> 00:22:42,026
- If you wanted. You know.
- Thank you.

419
00:22:42,110 --> 00:22:46,155
If I had to make a top-10
of women I know that I would do,

420
00:22:46,698 --> 00:22:48,282
you'd be in that list.

421
00:22:48,367 --> 00:22:50,368
Number seven. All right?

422
00:22:50,452 --> 00:22:52,286
- Thank you. Thanks, Danny.
- Seriously.

423
00:22:53,330 --> 00:22:56,415
Do you want to get a drink sometime?
Maybe pop out and get a drink sometime?

424
00:22:56,541 --> 00:22:58,459
Um, I... No.

425
00:22:58,543 --> 00:23:00,836
- Yeah?
- No.

426
00:23:00,921 --> 00:23:02,380
You say no, I say yes.

427
00:23:04,841 --> 00:23:07,051
So, remember to play up
our ethical credentials.

428
00:23:07,135 --> 00:23:08,803
Don't mention the BP campaign.

429
00:23:08,887 --> 00:23:12,014
And let's emphasise the online campaign
we did for Greenpeace.

430
00:23:12,099 --> 00:23:13,265
Our job is to convince people

431
00:23:13,350 --> 00:23:15,434
his solvents won't render the planet
a barren, lifeless husk

432
00:23:15,519 --> 00:23:17,978
- unfit for future generations.
- Piece of piss.

433
00:23:18,063 --> 00:23:19,271
How are we gonna do that, then?

434
00:23:19,356 --> 00:23:21,190
Well, if he's a cheapskate like his dad,

435
00:23:21,316 --> 00:23:23,359
we suggest making the typeface
green and yellow

436
00:23:23,443 --> 00:23:26,779
and sticking some sort of
sunflower or butterfly on the logo.

437
00:23:26,863 --> 00:23:27,905
It's textbook.

438
00:23:28,323 --> 00:23:29,824
Depressingly, you could be right.

439
00:23:30,784 --> 00:23:33,160
I expect he'll be
some sort of tasteless Yank,

440
00:23:33,245 --> 00:23:35,162
obsessed with how we're all so quaint,

441
00:23:35,247 --> 00:23:36,747
spell "colour" with a "u",

442
00:23:36,832 --> 00:23:40,543
worship Benny Hill
and then say "awesome" a lot.

443
00:23:40,669 --> 00:23:43,087
Yeah. And he'll probably do
that Austin Powers accent.

444
00:23:43,171 --> 00:23:44,588
You know the one. "Yeah, baby!"

445
00:23:45,799 --> 00:23:46,799
I didn't watch that film

446
00:23:46,883 --> 00:23:48,426
because it's absolutely
not my cup of tea.

447
00:23:48,510 --> 00:23:51,262
And then plump for whatever
turns out to be the cheapest option.

448
00:23:51,346 --> 00:23:52,388
That's my prediction.

449
00:23:54,599 --> 00:23:57,560
- You're not eating today?
- There's a lot of mercury in that.

450
00:23:57,894 --> 00:23:59,145
Then why don't you get
a fucking sandwich?

451
00:23:59,229 --> 00:24:00,813
I am gonna get
a fucking sandwich, Clare,

452
00:24:00,897 --> 00:24:01,981
but I'm not gonna have one
with bread in it

453
00:24:02,065 --> 00:24:03,649
because I'm a coeliac. You know that.

454
00:24:04,443 --> 00:24:06,068
So I was thinking about your book.

455
00:24:06,153 --> 00:24:07,611
- Oh, yeah?
- Yeah.

456
00:24:07,696 --> 00:24:11,240
I reckon that I prefer
"Ezra" to "David" as a name.

457
00:24:11,825 --> 00:24:14,994
There was a David at school who,
if you paid him 50 cents,

458
00:24:15,078 --> 00:24:16,829
was prepared to lick anything.

459
00:24:16,913 --> 00:24:18,914
- Literally anything.
- Let's talk about it over dinner

460
00:24:18,999 --> 00:24:21,834
because Nat's out tonight,
another work thing.

461
00:24:21,877 --> 00:24:23,335
I'm starving.

462
00:24:24,212 --> 00:24:26,005
I mean, obviously, it's all relative.

463
00:24:26,089 --> 00:24:27,423
I feel their plight.

464
00:24:27,507 --> 00:24:29,300
I only had a Kinder Bueno for lunch.

465
00:24:29,384 --> 00:24:31,677
Mmm, I can't tonight.
I'm going out with Charlie.

466
00:24:31,970 --> 00:24:34,889
What, again?
That's the third time in two weeks.

467
00:24:35,098 --> 00:24:36,849
You're counting?

468
00:24:36,892 --> 00:24:38,142
Sorry to interrupt.

469
00:24:38,226 --> 00:24:39,768
Those articles you wanted
from this morning.

470
00:24:39,853 --> 00:24:41,562
- Thanks.
- Thank you.

471
00:24:43,064 --> 00:24:44,815
So, what, am I just supposed
to stay home

472
00:24:44,900 --> 00:24:46,317
in the hopes you've got a free night?

473
00:24:46,401 --> 00:24:47,651
No.

474
00:24:47,861 --> 00:24:49,487
I just don't want to see you
getting hurt, that's all.

475
00:24:52,949 --> 00:24:54,366
Is that him?

476
00:24:54,618 --> 00:24:55,743
Yeah.

477
00:24:55,827 --> 00:24:58,829
Well, I see someone managed
to find a Burger King out in Sudan.

478
00:25:07,506 --> 00:25:09,298
I've just seen Guy Harrap in reception!

479
00:25:09,382 --> 00:25:11,884
And I would jump on him
like a bouncy castle.

480
00:25:11,968 --> 00:25:13,427
Remember to take off your shoes,
and no somersaults.

481
00:25:13,512 --> 00:25:15,012
- I need your ring.
- What?

482
00:25:15,096 --> 00:25:16,680
- We really need this account.
- Are you on drugs?

483
00:25:16,806 --> 00:25:19,058
Come on, it's not like you're gonna
jump into bed with the man.

484
00:25:19,142 --> 00:25:20,392
Clare!

485
00:25:20,477 --> 00:25:21,560
What's up?

486
00:25:22,646 --> 00:25:24,271
- Guy Harrap.
- Hello.

487
00:25:24,356 --> 00:25:25,439
Who we got here?

488
00:25:25,815 --> 00:25:27,858
Natasha Redfearn, Accounts Director.

489
00:25:27,943 --> 00:25:28,943
- Sweet.
- Hi.

490
00:25:29,027 --> 00:25:30,694
Is there anything we can offer you?

491
00:25:30,779 --> 00:25:33,781
Hot diggity dog,
I love the way you say that.

492
00:25:33,865 --> 00:25:35,533
Huh? The way she says that? "Offer"?

493
00:25:35,617 --> 00:25:37,117
Off... Can you say that again?

494
00:25:37,202 --> 00:25:38,744
- Oh...
- "Offer" me.

495
00:25:39,162 --> 00:25:40,371
Um, offer.

496
00:25:40,455 --> 00:25:41,997
There it is. There it is.

497
00:25:42,082 --> 00:25:43,165
- Here, give me some of that.
- Oh.

498
00:25:43,250 --> 00:25:45,209
- All right. Pound it.
- Yes. Oh.

499
00:25:45,669 --> 00:25:48,170
I got an idea. Let's sit down,
let's talk some business. Huh?

500
00:25:48,838 --> 00:25:51,549
Mr Harrap, we're delighted
that you've come to us

501
00:25:51,633 --> 00:25:53,217
to take Harraps Solvents forward

502
00:25:53,343 --> 00:25:56,345
and rebrand in the fresh challenges
presented by the new media climate.

503
00:25:56,721 --> 00:25:59,223
Awesome. Totally awesome. Bingo, huh?

504
00:26:00,725 --> 00:26:02,810
We're very pleased
with some of the concepts

505
00:26:02,894 --> 00:26:04,645
we've come up with
for the new incarnation of Harraps.

506
00:26:04,729 --> 00:26:08,440
Yeah, as long as you don't fob me off
with some yellow-and-green font.

507
00:26:09,067 --> 00:26:11,277
I mean, how many times
have we seen that, right?

508
00:26:11,361 --> 00:26:12,820
Yes, exactly. No.

509
00:26:13,113 --> 00:26:14,321
Too many! Far...

510
00:26:14,406 --> 00:26:17,324
What we were pla...
What we were thinking is to take...

511
00:26:19,327 --> 00:26:21,870
- a holistic approach...
- Mmm-hmm.

512
00:26:22,747 --> 00:26:26,834
...focusing on the core brand values
of integrity...

513
00:26:26,918 --> 00:26:27,960
Integrity.

514
00:26:28,461 --> 00:26:29,712
Got it. Thank you.

515
00:26:29,838 --> 00:26:31,589
...responsibility...

516
00:26:37,345 --> 00:26:39,179
- that epitomise...
- Mmm.

517
00:26:39,347 --> 00:26:41,515
...what Harraps stands for.

518
00:26:41,600 --> 00:26:43,601
Harraps. That's very good.

519
00:26:46,896 --> 00:26:51,233
Well, to be honest, at Oxford,
my economics professor

520
00:26:51,318 --> 00:26:54,069
favoured a fully integrated
four-quadrant strategy

521
00:26:54,195 --> 00:26:56,530
cohesive across all media,

522
00:26:56,615 --> 00:26:58,782
presenting an instantly accessible,

523
00:26:58,867 --> 00:27:01,619
aesthetic, philosophical
and commercial identity

524
00:27:01,703 --> 00:27:05,080
consistent with an ethical
contemporary market leader

525
00:27:05,165 --> 00:27:09,084
whilst embracing
its legacy of integrity.

526
00:27:09,252 --> 00:27:10,294
Yeah, baby!

527
00:27:10,378 --> 00:27:12,046
That's Austin Powers.

528
00:27:13,173 --> 00:27:15,049
I love that film.

529
00:27:15,216 --> 00:27:17,885
- I'm so sorry, I just...
- I know.

530
00:27:17,969 --> 00:27:22,848
You thought I was a tasteless Yank
obsessed with how quaint you all are.

531
00:27:22,932 --> 00:27:25,017
That's so quaint.

532
00:27:25,101 --> 00:27:27,227
It's incredibly embarrassing.

533
00:27:27,312 --> 00:27:29,438
But we have plenty of
other proposals to show you.

534
00:27:29,522 --> 00:27:32,900
No, I don't need to see them.
These things aren't done in boardrooms.

535
00:27:33,568 --> 00:27:36,153
We should get to know each other,
Miss Redfearn.

536
00:27:36,237 --> 00:27:38,572
A holistic approach, as you say.

537
00:27:41,034 --> 00:27:42,951
Well, agreed, but, uh,

538
00:27:43,036 --> 00:27:46,205
but from the outset, you should
know that I've just got, um...

539
00:27:53,171 --> 00:27:56,590
another account that I have to focus on
for the next few days.

540
00:27:57,050 --> 00:27:58,717
- It's been a pleasure.
- Thanks.

541
00:27:59,052 --> 00:28:01,053
- I'm so sorry again for the...
- No, please.

542
00:28:01,137 --> 00:28:04,473
Bye.

543
00:28:14,859 --> 00:28:19,530
When we first met, I just thought
Josh was exactly what I needed.

544
00:28:19,614 --> 00:28:21,115
You know, I felt...

545
00:28:21,199 --> 00:28:23,992
so safe, and then...

546
00:28:26,871 --> 00:28:28,122
I think what she's trying to say is,

547
00:28:28,206 --> 00:28:30,165
is that the everyday
reality of marriage

548
00:28:30,250 --> 00:28:32,167
started to overtake the fairytale,

549
00:28:32,252 --> 00:28:34,545
- the fantasy, right?
- Ooh, hark at you.

550
00:28:34,838 --> 00:28:37,297
Somebody swallowed a copy
of Eat, Pray, Love.

551
00:28:37,590 --> 00:28:40,551
No, I think as... we...

552
00:28:42,178 --> 00:28:43,804
I'm gonna have to take this.

553
00:28:45,014 --> 00:28:46,056
Yep, fine, I'm in a session.

554
00:28:47,892 --> 00:28:49,810
Can't you pick them up?

555
00:28:50,645 --> 00:28:52,020
Give me two minutes.

556
00:28:52,105 --> 00:28:54,481
Talk about your feelings
or your father or something.

557
00:29:05,326 --> 00:29:07,995
Coming up
on Cash in the Attic,

558
00:29:08,079 --> 00:29:10,956
a delightful silver brooch
made by a celebrated war hero.

559
00:29:11,750 --> 00:29:13,333
The bin's full.

560
00:29:14,043 --> 00:29:15,627
- Can you take it out?
- Yeah.

561
00:29:16,129 --> 00:29:18,797
The One Tree Hill omnibus
is about to start.

562
00:29:18,882 --> 00:29:21,884
Lauren's about to tell Jake
that baby Connor's not his.

563
00:29:28,183 --> 00:29:32,519
Oh, Christ.
Your husband is so adorable.

564
00:29:36,775 --> 00:29:38,901
Yes. He really is.

565
00:29:38,985 --> 00:29:40,861
So ostentatious.

566
00:29:43,782 --> 00:29:45,324
Have you seen my phone?

567
00:29:45,408 --> 00:29:47,701
No. When did you last have it?

568
00:29:47,827 --> 00:29:49,912
Well, if I knew that,
it wouldn't be lost, would it?

569
00:29:49,996 --> 00:29:51,914
That's the point
of something being lost.

570
00:29:54,876 --> 00:29:56,376
You're always here.

571
00:29:57,212 --> 00:29:59,129
Why are you always here?

572
00:30:03,426 --> 00:30:05,719
Come and have a look at this video
of a monkey fucking a bullfrog.

573
00:30:07,722 --> 00:30:09,264
He's killed it!

574
00:30:10,183 --> 00:30:11,558
He's killed it by fucking it!

575
00:30:31,830 --> 00:30:34,248
Seriously, Nat.
Seriously, hang on a sec.

576
00:30:34,332 --> 00:30:36,708
Why do you never get
the words to a song right?

577
00:30:38,419 --> 00:30:39,670
Does it really matter?

578
00:30:39,754 --> 00:30:42,506
What, "I've travelled the world
in generic jeans"?

579
00:30:42,590 --> 00:30:44,258
Really? Come on.

580
00:30:44,884 --> 00:30:48,095
I was just singing.
Didn't realise it was so important.

581
00:30:48,221 --> 00:30:50,055
Do you really think that
Annie Lennox is singing about

582
00:30:50,139 --> 00:30:52,683
whether she happened to travel
the world in Levis or Wranglers?

583
00:30:54,853 --> 00:30:56,520
Okay. Wow.

584
00:30:59,148 --> 00:31:01,024
And while we're at it,
Elton John isn't singing,

585
00:31:01,109 --> 00:31:03,360
"Hold me close and tie me down, sir."

586
00:31:03,444 --> 00:31:06,655
Kurt Cobain isn't singing,
"Here we are now in containers."

587
00:31:06,739 --> 00:31:09,950
If you can't sing it right,
don't sing at all. It's idiotic.

588
00:31:10,785 --> 00:31:12,995
Says the man dressed as a pea.

589
00:31:21,004 --> 00:31:24,840
I can't believe we're having
the same fucking row!

590
00:31:25,884 --> 00:31:28,969
Oh! Not listening!
Not listening! Not listening!

591
00:31:29,637 --> 00:31:31,013
No! Fuck you!

592
00:31:31,097 --> 00:31:35,058
Oh, my God,
you're such an arsehole!

593
00:31:35,143 --> 00:31:37,394
Yes, you are!
You are such a cock-sucking,

594
00:31:37,478 --> 00:31:39,980
shit-stabbing, fucking arsehole!

595
00:31:40,064 --> 00:31:44,026
I could just fucking stab you
right in the eyes!

596
00:31:44,986 --> 00:31:46,862
What the fuck are you looking at?

597
00:31:46,946 --> 00:31:48,572
You could do with a fuck!

598
00:31:49,115 --> 00:31:50,949
No, not you! Nobody wants to fuck you!

599
00:31:51,034 --> 00:31:53,368
You fucking frigid arsehole!

600
00:31:53,828 --> 00:31:55,495
Yeah, fuck you!

601
00:32:00,043 --> 00:32:01,376
So, here we are.

602
00:32:01,961 --> 00:32:04,171
The hub of the Harraps empire.

603
00:32:05,506 --> 00:32:06,840
What do you think?

604
00:32:07,300 --> 00:32:09,551
Hopefully, you can see why I wanted you
to check this place out.

605
00:32:09,677 --> 00:32:14,473
It's state-of-the-art and responsible
for a turnover last year of 37 million.

606
00:32:14,515 --> 00:32:20,312
If you squirted air from a large space
into a slightly smaller space last year,

607
00:32:20,355 --> 00:32:23,357
chances are
you did it through one of these.

608
00:32:24,192 --> 00:32:26,193
Every time I squirt out
a little bit of air,

609
00:32:26,235 --> 00:32:27,903
I'll think of you.

610
00:32:30,365 --> 00:32:33,033
That sounded weird,
but you know what I mean.

611
00:32:33,701 --> 00:32:35,369
Yeah, sure.

612
00:32:38,831 --> 00:32:40,666
There's someone I want you to meet.

613
00:32:40,708 --> 00:32:44,211
Janet's been working here for,
what, 42 years?

614
00:32:44,337 --> 00:32:46,505
Forty-three in June. Hello.

615
00:32:46,547 --> 00:32:50,717
Yep, my grandfather exploited her,
my father exploited her,

616
00:32:50,760 --> 00:32:51,885
now I get to exploit her.

617
00:32:52,387 --> 00:32:55,514
He's a good lad, this one.
He takes care of us.

618
00:32:55,556 --> 00:32:58,725
You won't find anybody here
with a bad word to say about him.

619
00:32:58,851 --> 00:32:59,893
Except Sarah.

620
00:33:00,520 --> 00:33:02,729
But she's a proper shithouse.

621
00:33:02,939 --> 00:33:04,022
Really?

622
00:33:04,273 --> 00:33:06,900
He just needs to settle down,
start a family.

623
00:33:07,193 --> 00:33:08,902
So, what do you think?

624
00:33:09,070 --> 00:33:10,737
- Wife material?
- Definitely.

625
00:33:10,905 --> 00:33:12,197
Better than the last one.

626
00:33:12,240 --> 00:33:13,740
You should see some of the...

627
00:33:13,866 --> 00:33:15,534
Yeah, I could dock your wages
for insubordination.

628
00:33:15,576 --> 00:33:16,868
Get back to work.

629
00:33:16,911 --> 00:33:20,914
Clostridium acetobutylicum
doesn't acidogenically ferment itself.

630
00:33:24,752 --> 00:33:27,379
It looks like you've got
the Janet seal of approval.

631
00:33:27,422 --> 00:33:29,631
I'm not sure I'm the marrying type.

632
00:33:29,799 --> 00:33:33,093
You realise you'd be the heir
to a solvents fortune.

633
00:33:33,428 --> 00:33:34,886
And that's not to be sniffed at.

634
00:33:34,929 --> 00:33:37,097
Literally, it could
result in convulsions,

635
00:33:37,140 --> 00:33:38,557
coma, severe brain damage,

636
00:33:38,599 --> 00:33:40,308
and in some cases, mental retardation.

637
00:33:42,145 --> 00:33:45,605
They do all seem remarkably happy here.
Is it the fumes?

638
00:33:46,649 --> 00:33:48,984
These people, they're like family to me.

639
00:33:49,110 --> 00:33:50,944
I've grown up on this factory floor.

640
00:33:50,987 --> 00:33:53,572
I spent every summer here
since I was two.

641
00:33:54,157 --> 00:33:57,784
If you're good to people,
people will be good to you.

642
00:33:58,619 --> 00:34:02,122
It's what my dad taught me.
It's what I want to teach my kids.

643
00:34:03,916 --> 00:34:05,751
And I want to end all wars
and cure cancer.

644
00:34:43,998 --> 00:34:46,333
- All right?
- Yeah. What?

645
00:34:46,834 --> 00:34:49,503
You really... You don't have to come
tonight if you don't want to.

646
00:34:49,629 --> 00:34:51,338
No, I want to be there.
Your husband should support you.

647
00:34:52,173 --> 00:34:53,173
You look incredible.

648
00:34:53,216 --> 00:34:54,716
I warn you, you'll be bored to tears

649
00:34:54,842 --> 00:34:56,843
'cause I'm gonna
have to network all night.

650
00:34:56,886 --> 00:34:58,804
That's the cab. Seriously.

651
00:35:00,014 --> 00:35:02,390
- Last chance to bail.
- No, I want to go. I love a party.

652
00:35:02,517 --> 00:35:04,559
Uh, will I need a coat? Is it cold out?

653
00:35:04,685 --> 00:35:06,186
Why do you always ask me that?

654
00:35:06,521 --> 00:35:09,022
How should I know if you need a coat?

655
00:35:09,148 --> 00:35:11,733
I've been outside today,
you've been outside today.

656
00:35:11,859 --> 00:35:15,821
I have precisely the same amount
of meteorological information as you do.

657
00:35:21,494 --> 00:35:22,702
Josh!

658
00:35:31,003 --> 00:35:33,880
I wouldn't want to be stuck behind him
going through airport security.

659
00:35:42,765 --> 00:35:45,725
Because it's all metal.

660
00:35:46,227 --> 00:35:48,061
He's so funny, your husband.
You've got a good one there.

661
00:35:48,104 --> 00:35:49,396
Thanks, that's sweet.

662
00:35:51,607 --> 00:35:54,109
Why don't you, um, go and mingle?

663
00:35:54,235 --> 00:35:55,527
There's a band upstairs.

664
00:35:56,028 --> 00:35:58,572
No, I think I'm gonna stay here.
But you go, mingle, enjoy yourself.

665
00:36:00,408 --> 00:36:03,076
Are you staying here because you think
you have a good joke about that photo?

666
00:36:04,036 --> 00:36:05,078
What?

667
00:36:06,247 --> 00:36:07,247
You are!

668
00:36:07,748 --> 00:36:10,250
You're staying here so you can
say that joke about the photo.

669
00:36:10,293 --> 00:36:12,586
It's a good joke.
I actually have a couple.

670
00:36:12,712 --> 00:36:14,629
Wouldn't want to be behind him
going through airport security.

671
00:36:16,924 --> 00:36:18,633
At least, if you went out with him,

672
00:36:18,759 --> 00:36:20,302
you'd always have a little place
to hang your coat.

673
00:36:22,430 --> 00:36:23,805
I'm Josh Moss. Nice to meet you.

674
00:36:23,931 --> 00:36:25,557
- Hi.
- Ooh! She's gone.

675
00:36:27,310 --> 00:36:29,436
You could put your keys on there,
couldn't you?

676
00:36:31,606 --> 00:36:35,442
I think that's just what happens
when you sleep next to an open sewer.

677
00:36:35,776 --> 00:36:38,737
Had amoebic dysentery. Twice.

678
00:36:38,988 --> 00:36:40,113
In Rwanda at one point,

679
00:36:40,156 --> 00:36:43,116
I was actually defecating
pieces of my colon.

680
00:36:53,502 --> 00:36:54,628
Miss Redfearn.

681
00:36:56,255 --> 00:36:57,422
Guy!

682
00:36:59,091 --> 00:37:01,509
Lovely to see you. I er...
I didn't realise you were here.

683
00:37:01,636 --> 00:37:03,762
You know, it's actually good
that I ran into you

684
00:37:03,804 --> 00:37:05,805
because I was thinking about
some of those community outreach...

685
00:37:05,932 --> 00:37:07,807
Could we take one night off
from talking shop?

686
00:37:08,643 --> 00:37:11,686
Am I allowed to say
you're looking incredible?

687
00:37:11,812 --> 00:37:13,438
Technically, no.

688
00:37:13,481 --> 00:37:15,148
That would constitute sexual harassment.

689
00:37:15,274 --> 00:37:18,443
You're right. The rules and regulations
on that are very strict these days.

690
00:37:18,486 --> 00:37:23,198
I actually have a copy of the Sexual
Discrimination Act 2007 in my hotel room

691
00:37:23,324 --> 00:37:24,783
if you'd like to come back
and peruse it.

692
00:37:26,285 --> 00:37:28,662
Although Christmas parties
don't really count.

693
00:37:30,498 --> 00:37:32,332
They're an opportunity
to tell the person

694
00:37:32,375 --> 00:37:33,875
you've had a secret crush on all year

695
00:37:34,001 --> 00:37:36,836
how you really feel about them.

696
00:37:39,548 --> 00:37:41,508
Aren't they?

697
00:37:42,009 --> 00:37:43,510
Are they?

698
00:37:43,552 --> 00:37:45,220
Of course.

699
00:37:45,346 --> 00:37:48,556
I think protocol and decorum
go right out the window.

700
00:37:49,350 --> 00:37:50,558
I mean, look at that guy.

701
00:37:52,144 --> 00:37:53,186
That is embarrassing.

702
00:37:53,854 --> 00:37:55,021
Who is he?

703
00:37:55,147 --> 00:37:56,731
Leave him alone, he's just had a few.

704
00:37:56,857 --> 00:37:58,650
Hang on.
He's attempting the Beyoncé booty shake.

705
00:37:58,693 --> 00:38:02,153
Either that or he's being
sodomised by the Invisible Man.

706
00:38:02,196 --> 00:38:04,572
Oh, he's just had a few
too many cocktails.

707
00:38:04,699 --> 00:38:06,074
He's wasted.

708
00:38:06,826 --> 00:38:09,202
- Having a good time.
- Yeah, sure is.

709
00:38:12,415 --> 00:38:14,207
Oi, oi!

710
00:38:15,376 --> 00:38:18,336
Hold on.
Look out, here comes twinkle toes.

711
00:38:18,379 --> 00:38:19,921
He's making a beeline.

712
00:38:20,047 --> 00:38:21,840
I got your back,
I'll just say I'm your boyfriend.

713
00:38:21,882 --> 00:38:23,008
- No, you don't have to do that.
- It's fine.

714
00:38:25,261 --> 00:38:27,554
This party's amazing. So much fun.

715
00:38:28,222 --> 00:38:30,724
Guy Harrap. Pleased to meet you.

716
00:38:31,517 --> 00:38:35,395
Oh! The solvents guy!

717
00:38:35,896 --> 00:38:38,565
How are you? Nice to meet you.
He's so handsome, isn't he?

718
00:38:41,444 --> 00:38:43,111
Whoo!

719
00:38:43,237 --> 00:38:45,071
Bollocks.

720
00:38:47,116 --> 00:38:48,408
Sorry.

721
00:38:48,743 --> 00:38:49,909
Come on!

722
00:38:50,453 --> 00:38:51,453
Is that...

723
00:38:51,579 --> 00:38:53,455
Yeah, I suppose that's what
office parties are for, huh?

724
00:38:53,581 --> 00:38:54,789
That's hilarious!

725
00:38:54,915 --> 00:38:57,584
Free booze and a chance
to make out with the boss.

726
00:38:57,918 --> 00:38:59,252
Well, I'm technically self-employed,

727
00:38:59,378 --> 00:39:02,589
so I'll just have to settle for
a can of Budweiser and a wank.

728
00:39:03,090 --> 00:39:04,132
Charming.

729
00:39:05,051 --> 00:39:07,302
Can I ask the sexiest woman in the room
for a dance?

730
00:39:07,428 --> 00:39:08,470
Listen, I...

731
00:39:08,596 --> 00:39:11,222
We're actually talking business.
So, maybe later.

732
00:39:15,227 --> 00:39:17,437
Shouldn't you be busting a move?

733
00:39:31,577 --> 00:39:33,453
You almost have to admire him
for giving it a go.

734
00:39:33,496 --> 00:39:35,080
You owe me one.

735
00:39:36,332 --> 00:39:38,291
How about we make our excuses?

736
00:39:38,334 --> 00:39:40,001
I have a table on hold at Nobu.

737
00:39:40,127 --> 00:39:42,128
No, I can't, I've a...

738
00:39:42,797 --> 00:39:45,090
I should go.
I think I need some fresh air.

739
00:39:45,466 --> 00:39:46,800
Sure.

740
00:39:48,302 --> 00:39:50,345
Hang on, I'm swapping hands.

741
00:39:51,806 --> 00:39:56,684
So, you had an extra naan
and two glasses of wine,

742
00:39:56,811 --> 00:39:59,020
so you owe an extra four pounds.

743
00:39:59,146 --> 00:40:00,480
Drew...

744
00:40:00,606 --> 00:40:03,316
...you had the mango lassi,
so that's an extra three pounds.

745
00:40:03,984 --> 00:40:07,654
I swear, the mass graves in Mogadishu
weren't as awful as this.

746
00:40:07,822 --> 00:40:09,322
Do you want to bail?

747
00:40:09,698 --> 00:40:11,324
Did you have the chicken jalfrezi?

748
00:40:11,659 --> 00:40:13,159
I want to stay. It's fun.

749
00:40:13,285 --> 00:40:15,453
No, I've said hello
to everybody I need to.

750
00:40:15,496 --> 00:40:17,455
It's just gonna get messy
and it's no fun being a spectator.

751
00:40:17,498 --> 00:40:20,375
I wouldn't like to be stood
behind him at airport security.

752
00:40:20,501 --> 00:40:23,169
That was my joke! He stole it!

753
00:40:23,295 --> 00:40:25,004
He's taking credit for my humour.
Should I say something?

754
00:40:25,131 --> 00:40:26,506
Jesus, Josh!

755
00:40:27,341 --> 00:40:29,134
When did you turn into such a prat?

756
00:40:29,802 --> 00:40:33,513
Stay. Dance like a fucking idiot,
tell your stupid jokes. I'm going home.

757
00:40:35,182 --> 00:40:37,684
That hoop in his ear,
he could hang his house keys on it.

758
00:40:48,195 --> 00:40:49,904
God, you are so sexy.

759
00:40:51,198 --> 00:40:52,699
You're so sexy.

760
00:40:52,825 --> 00:40:54,033
Thanks.

761
00:40:59,582 --> 00:41:02,709
Hey, that's it, honey, slide in,
room for one more. Huh?

762
00:41:02,877 --> 00:41:05,003
Hey, Alexandra.

763
00:41:08,048 --> 00:41:09,215
You look really nice.

764
00:41:10,718 --> 00:41:12,760
Different from work.

765
00:41:13,012 --> 00:41:16,097
Do you two want to have
a little hello kiss?

766
00:41:16,223 --> 00:41:18,099
- Um, hello.
- That's it.

767
00:41:19,018 --> 00:41:20,101
Hi.

768
00:41:20,561 --> 00:41:21,603
Mmm, that's it.

769
00:41:21,896 --> 00:41:25,106
Did you guys like that dinner tonight?

770
00:41:26,275 --> 00:41:29,110
Did you go for the rice or the naan?

771
00:41:30,070 --> 00:41:31,237
I went for the naan.

772
00:41:31,363 --> 00:41:32,739
Yeah? Mmm!

773
00:41:32,865 --> 00:41:34,741
You are so naughty.

774
00:41:35,075 --> 00:41:37,035
Why are you so naughty?

775
00:41:37,077 --> 00:41:40,371
I don't know, Charlie, why is that?

776
00:41:40,414 --> 00:41:42,749
Did your mom smoke
during her pregnancy?

777
00:41:44,418 --> 00:41:46,252
Oh, okay.

778
00:41:46,879 --> 00:41:48,129
All right.

779
00:41:48,255 --> 00:41:50,381
That's it. Yeah, I like that.

780
00:41:51,050 --> 00:41:52,383
Threesome.
We're going to have a threesome.

781
00:41:52,426 --> 00:41:53,635
We're having a threesome.

782
00:41:54,470 --> 00:41:55,762
Let's go.

783
00:41:56,388 --> 00:41:58,932
- Chloe's climbing aboard.
- That's it.

784
00:41:59,642 --> 00:42:02,435
Here we go. Oh, yeah.

785
00:42:02,603 --> 00:42:04,896
Oh! Oh, yeah.

786
00:42:04,939 --> 00:42:06,648
Chloe's on top now.

787
00:42:06,774 --> 00:42:08,149
The cherry on top.

788
00:42:08,275 --> 00:42:09,609
Oh, yeah.

789
00:42:09,735 --> 00:42:12,153
Oh, yeah. Now she's on the bottom.

790
00:42:12,613 --> 00:42:14,989
Chloe loves being on bottom.

791
00:42:15,115 --> 00:42:16,115
Oh, yes.

792
00:42:16,575 --> 00:42:19,786
Yes, squeeze my breast.
That feels amazing.

793
00:42:19,912 --> 00:42:21,287
Não para, Charlie.

794
00:42:21,789 --> 00:42:23,122
Yeah, Charlie,

795
00:42:23,249 --> 00:42:25,458
I can speak another language as well.

796
00:42:25,584 --> 00:42:27,252
Me Ilamo Chloe, Charlie.

797
00:42:28,504 --> 00:42:30,964
Yo tengo un hermano!

798
00:42:32,258 --> 00:42:33,633
- That's it.
- Okay.

799
00:42:33,676 --> 00:42:35,093
Okay. Yeah, that's it.

800
00:42:35,135 --> 00:42:36,678
Chloe's in the middle now.

801
00:42:37,680 --> 00:42:38,972
Okay.

802
00:42:39,098 --> 00:42:42,141
Oh, yes. It feels amazing, doesn't it?

803
00:42:42,184 --> 00:42:43,935
Feels so good.

804
00:42:47,690 --> 00:42:50,483
God, you're strong, Alexandra.

805
00:42:51,610 --> 00:42:52,610
Yes.

806
00:42:54,947 --> 00:42:55,947
Down here again.

807
00:42:56,991 --> 00:43:00,034
Oh, yeah, put your fingers in my mouth.
I love that.

808
00:43:01,328 --> 00:43:04,664
Especially after Indian. It's amazing.

809
00:43:05,124 --> 00:43:06,332
Excuse me.

810
00:43:06,667 --> 00:43:08,334
Excuse me. No!

811
00:43:09,044 --> 00:43:10,962
All right. Enough!

812
00:43:11,505 --> 00:43:13,214
I am leaving!

813
00:43:13,799 --> 00:43:15,800
You people, you're sick!

814
00:43:21,473 --> 00:43:22,849
I actually forgot my skirt.

815
00:43:22,975 --> 00:43:24,851
I'm sorry.

816
00:43:30,858 --> 00:43:33,359
Okay, thanks. Thanks, everybody.

817
00:43:34,695 --> 00:43:37,739
And FYI, you both still have
your underwear on.

818
00:44:17,237 --> 00:44:20,740
Hey, it's Chloe.
I really need to speak to you.

819
00:44:28,248 --> 00:44:30,083
- Hey.
- Hi, it's me.

820
00:44:30,751 --> 00:44:33,378
I demand you let me in. I've got coffee

821
00:44:33,420 --> 00:44:34,754
and a bag
of those little sweets you like

822
00:44:34,880 --> 00:44:36,381
that look like mini fried eggs.

823
00:44:40,427 --> 00:44:43,805
It was humiliating, degrading.

824
00:44:45,724 --> 00:44:48,726
I don't even know how I got myself
into that position.

825
00:44:48,769 --> 00:44:51,145
I am not a threesome person.

826
00:44:52,064 --> 00:44:54,315
I don't know what bits to touch when.

827
00:44:54,441 --> 00:44:56,067
Listen, fuck him.

828
00:44:56,777 --> 00:44:58,277
If he doesn't realise
how amazing you are,

829
00:44:58,404 --> 00:44:59,445
then he's an idiot.

830
00:45:00,739 --> 00:45:02,490
- He doesn't deserve you.
- Yeah, right.

831
00:45:02,616 --> 00:45:03,825
I mean, look at me.

832
00:45:03,951 --> 00:45:06,077
I'm in a rented flat

833
00:45:06,120 --> 00:45:10,289
wearing a SpongeBob SquarePants
dressing gown,

834
00:45:10,332 --> 00:45:12,583
eating a mixture of
animal fat and sugar

835
00:45:12,626 --> 00:45:14,919
made to look like a fried egg.

836
00:45:15,963 --> 00:45:16,963
I'm 32 years old.

837
00:45:17,339 --> 00:45:20,800
Yeah, and you've spent
your whole life doing things

838
00:45:20,926 --> 00:45:24,512
which make everybody else
look shallow, trivial and pointless.

839
00:45:25,180 --> 00:45:27,473
I think it's slightly more important
to be able to limit

840
00:45:27,516 --> 00:45:29,350
the spread of an epidemic

841
00:45:30,144 --> 00:45:32,103
than know how to conduct yourself
in a threesome.

842
00:45:33,772 --> 00:45:34,814
You do?

843
00:45:34,982 --> 00:45:38,025
I mean, for the purposes
of this conversation, sure.

844
00:45:44,658 --> 00:45:48,369
Honestly, I just want someone
to look after me for a change.

845
00:45:48,787 --> 00:45:49,954
Well, I'll look after you.

846
00:45:51,790 --> 00:45:52,832
You can't.

847
00:45:53,709 --> 00:45:56,127
You've already got someone
to look after.

848
00:46:08,307 --> 00:46:11,976
Listen, I'm completely all right.

849
00:46:13,187 --> 00:46:15,354
I promise not to end it all.

850
00:46:15,856 --> 00:46:18,649
I don't even own a razor. I wax.

851
00:46:19,651 --> 00:46:21,527
I think it's pretty hard
to wax yourself to death.

852
00:46:25,073 --> 00:46:27,241
You can leave. I'm okay.

853
00:46:27,367 --> 00:46:29,076
No, it's all right.

854
00:46:29,995 --> 00:46:32,663
I'm putting off my Christmas shopping.

855
00:46:34,082 --> 00:46:36,501
I'm trying to figure out
what to buy Nat.

856
00:46:38,504 --> 00:46:39,879
What does she like?

857
00:46:40,672 --> 00:46:41,756
I've no idea.

858
00:46:43,383 --> 00:46:46,177
I was thinking casserole dishes, maybe.

859
00:46:47,429 --> 00:46:50,723
I simply cannot let you
get your new wife

860
00:46:50,849 --> 00:46:52,517
- casserole dishes for Christmas.
- Why?

861
00:46:52,559 --> 00:46:53,726
I mean...

862
00:46:54,853 --> 00:46:56,562
- Let me help you out.
- A griddle pan.

863
00:46:56,688 --> 00:46:57,897
- No!
- A set of knives.

864
00:46:57,940 --> 00:47:00,525
Enough. I'm gonna go and get changed.

865
00:47:06,365 --> 00:47:07,615
Thanks, Josh.

866
00:47:08,242 --> 00:47:09,575
Ah, it's all right.

867
00:47:16,750 --> 00:47:18,584
Excuse me. Thank you.

868
00:47:22,339 --> 00:47:23,714
- Hey.
- Hello.

869
00:47:25,843 --> 00:47:27,718
- You okay?
- Mmm-hmm. Can I ask...

870
00:47:28,220 --> 00:47:29,554
why we're meeting in your hotel?

871
00:47:29,596 --> 00:47:31,514
You do know I'm not going
up to your room, don't you?

872
00:47:32,057 --> 00:47:35,226
Oh! No, of course not. Purely business.

873
00:47:35,435 --> 00:47:37,270
No sexual tension whatsoever.

874
00:47:37,354 --> 00:47:40,898
No undercurrent of erotic electricity

875
00:47:40,941 --> 00:47:43,943
between two ludicrously attractive
single people.

876
00:47:44,278 --> 00:47:46,696
None. Absolutely not.

877
00:47:47,114 --> 00:47:48,447
Good.

878
00:47:48,574 --> 00:47:50,449
It's your time you're paying for.

879
00:47:50,534 --> 00:47:53,077
So, we need to lock down a date
for the website.

880
00:47:53,120 --> 00:47:55,955
It's just there are some tiny kittens
up in my room

881
00:47:56,081 --> 00:47:58,583
playing adorably with a ball of wool.

882
00:47:58,959 --> 00:48:01,627
- If you're interested.
- Cat faeces makes you go blind.

883
00:48:01,753 --> 00:48:04,797
- I'm not going to your room.
- Okay. You win.

884
00:48:04,923 --> 00:48:09,385
We'll work and completely ignore the
palpable sizzle of sensual possibility

885
00:48:09,469 --> 00:48:11,554
every time our bodies
accidentally touch.

886
00:48:13,974 --> 00:48:16,309
I've booked a boardroom down the hall.

887
00:48:17,144 --> 00:48:18,269
Shall we?

888
00:48:18,729 --> 00:48:20,605
Yeah, basically, I'm looking
for something for my wife.

889
00:48:20,647 --> 00:48:23,983
You know, pair of pants
and a brassiere, perhaps.

890
00:48:24,067 --> 00:48:27,820
Something that's long-lasting
and practical.

891
00:48:28,488 --> 00:48:30,489
Goodness, is that man-made fibre?

892
00:48:30,616 --> 00:48:33,242
Or is it, um, natural?

893
00:48:33,327 --> 00:48:36,162
Or is it a mixture of the two?
Because that's often the way these days.

894
00:48:36,288 --> 00:48:38,497
Helps with, um, durability and so on.

895
00:48:38,624 --> 00:48:40,166
I mean, that's a lovely bit of kit.
Look at that.

896
00:48:40,292 --> 00:48:41,959
That's a formidable gusset.
You could not break that.

897
00:48:42,002 --> 00:48:44,837
- Were you looking for a panty?
- Christ. Am I...

898
00:48:46,506 --> 00:48:47,590
A panty.

899
00:48:47,674 --> 00:48:49,342
Uh...

900
00:48:49,593 --> 00:48:51,260
He has trouble with the word "panty",
I think.

901
00:48:51,345 --> 00:48:54,096
No, I don't. "Panty."
I'm looking for a panty, mon chéri.

902
00:48:54,181 --> 00:48:56,974
A portion of your
finest panties, milord.

903
00:48:57,976 --> 00:49:01,020
Right.
Um, perhaps I should just ask you.

904
00:49:01,146 --> 00:49:02,355
After all, you are standing right here.

905
00:49:04,149 --> 00:49:06,525
Oh, God, no, no, no. I'm not his wife.

906
00:49:06,818 --> 00:49:09,028
- No way.
- I'm just helping out,

907
00:49:09,154 --> 00:49:11,697
making sure he doesn't buy
his actual wife vouchers.

908
00:49:11,823 --> 00:49:12,949
Well, you can't actually go wrong
with vouchers.

909
00:49:13,033 --> 00:49:14,700
Christ, is that really the price?

910
00:49:17,204 --> 00:49:19,288
I could buy half an 18-litre
dehumidifier for that.

911
00:49:19,373 --> 00:49:20,957
- Sir.
- Yes.

912
00:49:21,041 --> 00:49:22,959
We like to celebrate the erotic here.

913
00:49:23,043 --> 00:49:25,503
Celebrate.
"One-nil. Oy-oy! I scored a goal."

914
00:49:25,545 --> 00:49:27,380
- You don't need to be ashamed.
- I'm not ashamed of anything.

915
00:49:27,464 --> 00:49:29,382
- Embrace it.
- I'll embrace you.

916
00:49:29,466 --> 00:49:30,549
I didn't mean that, I'm really sorry.

917
00:49:31,385 --> 00:49:34,053
It's all right. Why don't you tell me...

918
00:49:34,388 --> 00:49:36,681
- Yeah?
...what turns you on?

919
00:49:37,057 --> 00:49:41,394
Uh... What turns me on?

920
00:49:41,812 --> 00:49:43,396
I don't... What, really?

921
00:49:45,565 --> 00:49:47,817
I, uh, I like it...
I like it when she...

922
00:49:50,237 --> 00:49:54,323
dresses up like a policewoman,
or estate agent.

923
00:49:55,826 --> 00:50:00,997
We haven't met,
and she forces me to do things to her

924
00:50:01,915 --> 00:50:04,417
that I would never normally do.

925
00:50:06,753 --> 00:50:08,671
- Right.
- Yeah.

926
00:50:09,756 --> 00:50:12,591
I was thinking
more along the lines of lace.

927
00:50:12,676 --> 00:50:13,759
Were you?

928
00:50:13,885 --> 00:50:15,428
- Satin?
- Satin.

929
00:50:16,179 --> 00:50:17,179
Fishnets?

930
00:50:17,264 --> 00:50:20,933
Fishnets, the fish of the sea.
Fish of the sea. A trawlerman.

931
00:50:21,018 --> 00:50:24,603
I once saw a trawlerman.

932
00:50:25,439 --> 00:50:26,772
You must know the lucky lady.

933
00:50:27,441 --> 00:50:29,025
Any thoughts?

934
00:50:29,109 --> 00:50:31,110
You're as useless at all this sexy stuff
as I am, aren't you?

935
00:50:31,611 --> 00:50:34,780
You're happy with a thermal nightie,
a Stieg Larsson and a nice milky tea.

936
00:50:37,617 --> 00:50:41,620
I'm just gonna go have a browse.
Leave you to it.

937
00:50:43,457 --> 00:50:45,124
Oh, this is nice.

938
00:50:45,250 --> 00:50:47,460
They also have a wonderful restaurant.

939
00:50:47,544 --> 00:50:50,463
I wouldn't think of staying
anywhere else when I'm in London.

940
00:50:50,922 --> 00:50:57,136
So, what is our strategy
when it comes to online awareness?

941
00:50:57,554 --> 00:51:01,140
So, the idea is to drive the consumer
to the site through...

942
00:51:01,933 --> 00:51:05,811
Oysters?

943
00:51:06,897 --> 00:51:07,980
Seriously, Guy.

944
00:51:08,648 --> 00:51:11,275
They must have run out
of Highland shortbread.

945
00:51:12,444 --> 00:51:15,654
To drive consumers to the site
through a unified multiplatform...

946
00:51:18,950 --> 00:51:21,827
A unified multiplatform approach,
accessible with...

947
00:51:25,791 --> 00:51:28,501
Yes, go on. Platforms, that was good.

948
00:51:29,002 --> 00:51:33,839
Well, traditional media
should not be ignored, either.

949
00:51:34,800 --> 00:51:36,926
Doves? Really?

950
00:51:37,677 --> 00:51:39,512
I think you're amazing, Nat.

951
00:51:39,638 --> 00:51:42,306
I know it's unprofessional
and cliché, but...

952
00:51:42,349 --> 00:51:43,933
I'm married.

953
00:51:44,643 --> 00:51:46,185
What?

954
00:51:46,978 --> 00:51:49,021
I'm married. I have a husband.

955
00:51:51,942 --> 00:51:54,860
How can you?
Why didn't you say something?

956
00:51:54,986 --> 00:51:57,154
For all this time,
you didn't think to tell me?

957
00:51:57,197 --> 00:52:00,950
I didn't say anything because
I thought we'd get the account if...

958
00:52:02,202 --> 00:52:03,994
if I flirted with you.

959
00:52:04,037 --> 00:52:07,540
And then I liked flirting with you
too much for any of this to stop.

960
00:52:07,666 --> 00:52:10,543
Well, this wouldn't be happening
if you were happy with your husband.

961
00:52:11,336 --> 00:52:12,711
What am I supposed to say?

962
00:52:13,338 --> 00:52:16,549
I can't leave him, he'd be destroyed.
Look, I'm really sorry,

963
00:52:16,675 --> 00:52:19,051
but that dove's getting
awfully close to the ceiling fan.

964
00:52:19,845 --> 00:52:21,554
Who is this guy? Do you have children?

965
00:52:22,139 --> 00:52:24,682
- How long have you been married?
- Look, that's irrelevant. He's...

966
00:52:24,724 --> 00:52:26,559
He's dependable and...

967
00:52:28,895 --> 00:52:30,229
...and he's kind and safe,

968
00:52:30,313 --> 00:52:32,815
and I can't throw that all away for you.

969
00:52:32,899 --> 00:52:35,359
I mean, you're charming and twinkly.

970
00:52:36,987 --> 00:52:39,822
Look, you're a Ferrari and he's a Volvo,
and right now...

971
00:52:42,492 --> 00:52:44,076
I just need to be
behind the wheel of a Volvo.

972
00:52:44,536 --> 00:52:46,245
I need...

973
00:52:48,874 --> 00:52:50,082
I need reliability

974
00:52:50,500 --> 00:52:54,712
and to be able to get from A to B
safe and unhurt.

975
00:52:55,005 --> 00:52:56,088
Oh! God!

976
00:52:56,423 --> 00:52:57,923
Dove down, dove down!

977
00:52:58,049 --> 00:53:00,676
It's okay, I think it's just stunned.
Can you...

978
00:53:00,760 --> 00:53:02,720
- Do you want me to stop now?
- Yes.

979
00:53:02,762 --> 00:53:04,847
Listen, Nat. I'm not giving up.

980
00:53:05,098 --> 00:53:07,266
From the minute I met you
I've thought of nothing else.

981
00:53:07,350 --> 00:53:10,769
Do you think I care if our logo
has a drop shadow or is italicised? No.

982
00:53:11,104 --> 00:53:13,522
I'm looking for excuses to see you.

983
00:53:13,607 --> 00:53:14,773
Come on.

984
00:53:14,858 --> 00:53:16,775
And I'm not twinkly.

985
00:53:17,402 --> 00:53:19,028
I don't twinkle with anyone else.

986
00:53:20,280 --> 00:53:22,281
You make me twinkly.

987
00:53:24,784 --> 00:53:26,702
Ugh! God!

988
00:53:26,786 --> 00:53:29,121
That's supposed to be lucky.

989
00:53:29,789 --> 00:53:32,082
Look, as might be evident, I've never
done this kind of thing before,

990
00:53:32,125 --> 00:53:36,212
but I would regret it forever
if I didn't try everything I could.

991
00:53:36,713 --> 00:53:40,591
Married or not,
I need to be with you, Nat.

992
00:53:43,428 --> 00:53:45,221
Mind... Mind, um... Sorry.

993
00:53:45,805 --> 00:53:48,766
I'm sorry. I can't do this. I'm sorry.

994
00:53:50,644 --> 00:53:52,061
Sorry.

995
00:53:58,944 --> 00:54:01,904
Perhaps in hindsight
you shouldn't have gone with the doves.

996
00:54:02,322 --> 00:54:03,489
Thanks.

997
00:54:06,284 --> 00:54:08,118
- You like those, sir?
- Uh, yeah.

998
00:54:08,328 --> 00:54:11,664
Crotchless. Interesting, lovely, yeah.
Do you get much of a call for those?

999
00:54:11,790 --> 00:54:13,666
- Shit.
- Everything all right in there?

1000
00:54:13,792 --> 00:54:16,252
Yeah, I just...
I think this hook is caught.

1001
00:54:16,336 --> 00:54:18,170
Yeah, I got it.
Uh, yeah, I have to admit

1002
00:54:18,338 --> 00:54:21,257
I'm not very good with
buttons or zips or that sort of thing.

1003
00:54:21,341 --> 00:54:23,592
Usually I... Holy fucking shit.

1004
00:54:25,595 --> 00:54:26,845
I mean, who needs a dehumidifier, right?

1005
00:54:27,514 --> 00:54:31,267
Sure, I get a bit of condensation on my
bedroom window sometimes, but it's fine.

1006
00:54:31,685 --> 00:54:34,311
- Will you just close the...
- Oh, yeah, sorry. Sorry.

1007
00:54:34,854 --> 00:54:37,022
- Um...
- Look, were they always like that?

1008
00:54:37,148 --> 00:54:39,650
'Cause, I mean, they're unbelievable.

1009
00:54:39,693 --> 00:54:44,363
I just thought that
I would try something unpractical.

1010
00:54:46,032 --> 00:54:50,160
Do you think that Nat
would like something like this, or...

1011
00:54:50,203 --> 00:54:51,787
Nat?

1012
00:54:51,871 --> 00:54:55,374
Oh, of course.
Yeah, she'd look really nice.

1013
00:54:57,043 --> 00:54:58,836
She'd look good.

1014
00:54:58,878 --> 00:55:00,212
Um...

1015
00:55:00,547 --> 00:55:02,131
Yeah, but I think maybe the...

1016
00:55:02,215 --> 00:55:03,632
- I don't know if it's...
- What is it?

1017
00:55:03,717 --> 00:55:05,884
I don't know if it's caught on the tag.

1018
00:55:06,886 --> 00:55:08,053
I don't know what I did.

1019
00:55:08,138 --> 00:55:10,180
Your hair's in the way,
I'm just gonna...

1020
00:55:18,732 --> 00:55:21,233
You know those, um,

1021
00:55:21,735 --> 00:55:24,903
strips that they put in pants...

1022
00:55:25,905 --> 00:55:27,906
if you want to try them on?

1023
00:55:29,326 --> 00:55:32,911
Do you think that's to prevent
against gonorrhoea or chlamydia?

1024
00:55:34,581 --> 00:55:37,374
That's the one these days, Chlamydia.
That's...

1025
00:55:37,417 --> 00:55:39,918
Or so I've... so I've read.

1026
00:55:56,603 --> 00:55:58,771
Oh, my God, I'm so sorry.
I don't know why I did that.

1027
00:55:58,855 --> 00:56:02,191
No. I'm so sorry. I'm sorry.

1028
00:56:02,275 --> 00:56:04,860
Excuse me, sir,
will you be paying for that?

1029
00:56:06,946 --> 00:56:08,614
Christ, I expect so.

1030
00:56:09,032 --> 00:56:10,115
I'm sorry.

1031
00:56:10,241 --> 00:56:12,618
I'm sorry, I just wanted you to know
how I feel about you

1032
00:56:12,702 --> 00:56:15,996
- and I don't want to let you slip away.
- It's very complicated.

1033
00:56:16,122 --> 00:56:18,290
- Chloe, that was really bad.
- I know.

1034
00:56:18,375 --> 00:56:21,210
I mean, not the kiss or the visuals,
that was lovely,

1035
00:56:21,461 --> 00:56:23,587
- but I'm married.
- I know.

1036
00:56:23,797 --> 00:56:25,964
Oh, great, it's goddamn Beyoncé.

1037
00:56:26,216 --> 00:56:28,717
What?! Fuck!

1038
00:56:28,802 --> 00:56:31,136
- Beyoncé is my husband!
- What?

1039
00:56:31,221 --> 00:56:32,888
Beyoncé is my husband!

1040
00:56:33,473 --> 00:56:34,640
- Beyoncé is Josh.
- Him?

1041
00:56:34,766 --> 00:56:36,141
Yes.

1042
00:56:36,768 --> 00:56:38,060
Nat!

1043
00:56:39,229 --> 00:56:40,979
- Hello, darling!
- How weird!

1044
00:56:41,147 --> 00:56:43,148
- What a treat.
- How are you?

1045
00:56:43,817 --> 00:56:45,567
- Hi, Chloe.
- Hi.

1046
00:56:45,819 --> 00:56:48,278
- Guy, right?
- Yeah. Josh?

1047
00:56:48,321 --> 00:56:49,655
Yeah, that's right. Nice to see you.

1048
00:56:49,781 --> 00:56:52,991
Guy, this is Chloe.
She's a wonderful, uh...

1049
00:56:53,159 --> 00:56:54,326
charity worker.

1050
00:56:54,411 --> 00:56:55,828
- Hi.
- Hi.

1051
00:56:55,995 --> 00:56:57,788
Yeah, we were just doing
some Christmas shopping.

1052
00:56:57,831 --> 00:56:59,164
We were just having a meeting
around the corner.

1053
00:56:59,290 --> 00:57:00,624
- Oh, were you?
- Yeah.

1054
00:57:00,667 --> 00:57:03,001
- Nice.
- Yeah.

1055
00:57:05,004 --> 00:57:07,423
- Did you have fun last night?
- Oh, it was awesome, awesome.

1056
00:57:07,507 --> 00:57:10,676
Did you manage to get lucky
with the ladies?

1057
00:57:11,302 --> 00:57:14,680
No. Actually,
the girl I had my eye on blew me off.

1058
00:57:14,848 --> 00:57:17,099
I ended up alone in the hotel
with a mini sleeve of Pringles

1059
00:57:17,183 --> 00:57:19,143
watching Malaysian golf on Eurosport.

1060
00:57:19,185 --> 00:57:21,603
That's hilarious.

1061
00:57:26,609 --> 00:57:28,694
I find that incredibly
difficult to believe.

1062
00:57:28,862 --> 00:57:29,987
Well, it's true, it's true.

1063
00:57:30,113 --> 00:57:31,613
What, a man as good-looking as you?

1064
00:57:31,698 --> 00:57:36,493
Fabulous face, amazing hair,
wonderful teeth.

1065
00:57:36,536 --> 00:57:38,537
- A real hunk of spunk.
- Thank you.

1066
00:57:38,621 --> 00:57:41,999
Amazing skin, that's what...
Hasn't he got incredible skin?

1067
00:57:42,876 --> 00:57:44,835
- You do.
- Thank you.

1068
00:57:44,878 --> 00:57:46,545
It's inspirational.

1069
00:57:47,839 --> 00:57:49,673
Chloe's single. Aren't you?

1070
00:57:50,717 --> 00:57:52,301
And she's American.

1071
00:57:52,385 --> 00:57:54,553
- And you're... you could...
- ... ride the subway

1072
00:57:54,679 --> 00:57:57,222
and have a malt at the Five and Dime.

1073
00:57:57,348 --> 00:57:58,474
If that takes your fancy.

1074
00:57:59,684 --> 00:58:01,393
If you want to.

1075
00:58:01,519 --> 00:58:03,562
- Are you okay?
- Yeah. Yeah.

1076
00:58:03,688 --> 00:58:05,397
Poor Chloe could probably think
of nothing worse,

1077
00:58:05,732 --> 00:58:07,733
but maybe if we all
went out together sometime,

1078
00:58:07,859 --> 00:58:10,402
- that could be cool.
- Ooh!

1079
00:58:10,737 --> 00:58:13,238
You could set that up,
couldn't you, Nat? Is that all right?

1080
00:58:13,323 --> 00:58:17,576
Yes, yes, absolutely.
I will organise it. I'll organise it.

1081
00:58:17,660 --> 00:58:18,744
Awesome.

1082
00:58:18,828 --> 00:58:19,995
- Great.
- Okay.

1083
00:58:20,079 --> 00:58:21,747
- Dinner after Christmas.
- Dinner.

1084
00:58:21,873 --> 00:58:23,916
Yeah, sarsaparilla
and hot dogs all round.

1085
00:58:24,250 --> 00:58:26,418
- Very nice to meet you.
- You, too. You, too.

1086
00:58:29,339 --> 00:58:33,926
Things really hit a low point
around Christmas.

1087
00:58:34,511 --> 00:58:37,095
His family's so weird.

1088
00:58:38,431 --> 00:58:40,599
- That's not nice.
- They are. Come on.

1089
00:58:41,017 --> 00:58:44,937
I caught your mother googling,
"Can cat urine be used as fertiliser?"

1090
00:58:45,021 --> 00:58:47,606
She's got lots of cat urine.
She might as well use it.

1091
00:58:48,358 --> 00:58:50,400
Why the fuck has she got
lots of cat urine?

1092
00:58:50,527 --> 00:58:53,362
Hey! Merry Christmas!

1093
00:58:54,197 --> 00:58:55,697
At least my family are friendly.

1094
00:58:55,782 --> 00:58:58,283
- Nat!
- Hi, Mum. You all right?

1095
00:58:58,868 --> 00:59:01,537
You didn't exactly endear yourself
with the charades debacle.

1096
00:59:03,039 --> 00:59:04,122
Here we go.

1097
00:59:06,709 --> 00:59:08,418
- Play.
- Television.

1098
00:59:10,129 --> 00:59:12,381
Four words. First word.

1099
00:59:13,091 --> 00:59:15,133
- Unconscious.
- Dead.

1100
00:59:15,218 --> 00:59:18,303
- Tapping. Computer.
- Hanging. Vera Duck.

1101
00:59:18,429 --> 00:59:19,805
- Letters.
- Braille.

1102
00:59:19,931 --> 00:59:21,765
- Red.
- Impotent! Thick!

1103
00:59:21,808 --> 00:59:23,100
- Stupid.
- Man.

1104
00:59:23,142 --> 00:59:24,226
- Effeminate.
- Husband?

1105
00:59:24,310 --> 00:59:25,811
- Annoying idiot.
- Father?

1106
00:59:25,937 --> 00:59:28,146
Disappointment. Shame. Regret.

1107
00:59:28,231 --> 00:59:29,314
- Profession.
- Lazy.

1108
00:59:29,440 --> 00:59:31,441
Doctor. "Doctor," thank you.

1109
00:59:31,484 --> 00:59:34,152
"Doctor" is not the first thing
you think of when you look at him.

1110
00:59:34,279 --> 00:59:36,238
- Four words. Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde!
- Doctor Zhivago.

1111
00:59:36,322 --> 00:59:38,448
Quick, quick, quick,
you've got a minute!

1112
00:59:38,491 --> 00:59:39,783
Go, go, go!

1113
00:59:39,826 --> 00:59:42,578
- Second word.
- Sounds like... sister.

1114
00:59:43,162 --> 00:59:44,830
- Nat.
- Fit. Sexy.

1115
00:59:44,914 --> 00:59:47,124
- Young girl?
- Wife. Uh, woman.

1116
00:59:47,458 --> 00:59:50,002
Nat, bat, sat, rat, cat, hat.

1117
00:59:50,086 --> 00:59:52,004
Wife. Beautiful. Uh... The splits!

1118
00:59:52,130 --> 00:59:53,797
- Cellist!
- Cello!

1119
00:59:53,840 --> 00:59:56,508
- Hilary and Jackie.
- Family. Family.

1120
00:59:57,176 --> 00:59:58,510
- What are you...
- Barren.

1121
00:59:58,636 --> 01:00:01,638
Baron Münchausen! Sorry, no. Um...

1122
01:00:03,600 --> 01:00:05,267
Um...

1123
01:00:06,769 --> 01:00:07,936
Vagina.

1124
01:00:08,771 --> 01:00:12,190
Pussy. Minge. Twat. Foo-foo.

1125
01:00:12,442 --> 01:00:14,985
Clunge. Uh, growler.

1126
01:00:15,028 --> 01:00:16,111
Quim.

1127
01:00:16,195 --> 01:00:18,363
Quim! Quim! Quim! Quim! Quim!

1128
01:00:18,448 --> 01:00:20,032
Dr Quim and his Casebooks!

1129
01:00:20,450 --> 01:00:22,534
- Dr Quinn Medicine Woman.
- That's it.

1130
01:00:23,953 --> 01:00:25,621
- Get away from me.
- What?

1131
01:00:26,706 --> 01:00:28,373
You all right, Mother?

1132
01:00:28,499 --> 01:00:29,791
What else rhymes with "Quinn"?

1133
01:00:30,460 --> 01:00:31,668
Sounds like "chin"?

1134
01:00:32,545 --> 01:00:34,129
Sounds like "bin".

1135
01:00:34,213 --> 01:00:35,797
Yeah, all right, bloody Lionel Blair.

1136
01:00:36,049 --> 01:00:37,716
Look, I was tired.

1137
01:00:38,343 --> 01:00:40,177
I'd hardly slept,
I wasn't thinking straight

1138
01:00:40,219 --> 01:00:42,888
because your evil stepdad
had put me in that bedroom.

1139
01:00:43,014 --> 01:00:45,223
Just to punish me.

1140
01:00:45,391 --> 01:00:48,060
I would argue that you got
a better night's sleep

1141
01:00:48,186 --> 01:00:50,520
than I did at your parents' house.

1142
01:00:50,563 --> 01:00:51,563
- Oh, Brian!
- Elaine!

1143
01:00:51,689 --> 01:00:53,690
Oh, Brian, you know
just what I like!

1144
01:00:53,733 --> 01:00:55,901
- Tits or face? Tits or face?
- Tits.

1145
01:00:57,528 --> 01:00:58,570
Wrong answer!

1146
01:00:58,655 --> 01:01:01,657
- Oh, Brian! Oh, my God.
- Sorry, darling.

1147
01:01:02,075 --> 01:01:03,408
Yeah, well, your parents
made it perfectly clear

1148
01:01:03,534 --> 01:01:04,534
what they thought of me.

1149
01:01:05,328 --> 01:01:07,537
- What have you got?
- Fantastic!

1150
01:01:07,580 --> 01:01:10,248
- Digital photo frame.
- Wonderful!

1151
01:01:10,375 --> 01:01:12,417
You just put a memory stick in
and it makes a slide show.

1152
01:01:12,460 --> 01:01:14,419
We've got our camera on us,
we'll have to try it out later.

1153
01:01:14,462 --> 01:01:16,463
That is fabulous. "ReKapture."

1154
01:01:16,589 --> 01:01:18,382
My go? Thank you. Who's this from?

1155
01:01:18,424 --> 01:01:19,716
Mum and Dad!

1156
01:01:20,259 --> 01:01:21,760
Cracking.

1157
01:01:25,098 --> 01:01:26,890
How to be a Successful Writer.

1158
01:01:28,142 --> 01:01:29,810
And, um, Stop Wasting Your Life.

1159
01:01:31,771 --> 01:01:33,438
- Good idea.
- Unbelievable.

1160
01:01:33,481 --> 01:01:35,565
- My family hate him...
- They hate me.

1161
01:01:35,775 --> 01:01:37,442
...his family get under my skin,

1162
01:01:37,568 --> 01:01:40,278
and, at a time when we should have
felt happy and close,

1163
01:01:40,822 --> 01:01:42,155
I couldn't have felt more distant.

1164
01:01:45,034 --> 01:01:47,160
Explain again what your book's about.

1165
01:01:47,245 --> 01:01:51,289
Well, my hero is a young
history professor called Ezra

1166
01:01:51,416 --> 01:01:54,376
who, with the help of
a young American aid worker,

1167
01:01:54,460 --> 01:01:58,463
discovers this man in Borneo
who claims to be Muhammad.

1168
01:01:59,716 --> 01:02:03,635
So it's a meditation, really,
on the veracity and origins of faith.

1169
01:02:03,720 --> 01:02:05,929
If he ever gets round to finishing it.

1170
01:02:06,055 --> 01:02:07,764
Oi!

1171
01:02:08,641 --> 01:02:10,142
Another drink, Josh?

1172
01:02:10,268 --> 01:02:11,560
Oh, that'd be lovely, thank you.

1173
01:02:23,281 --> 01:02:25,615
Oh, that's gorgeous.

1174
01:02:26,659 --> 01:02:28,994
- Ice?
- Uh, yes, please.

1175
01:02:29,662 --> 01:02:30,912
Mmm.

1176
01:02:30,997 --> 01:02:32,998
That's sweet.

1177
01:02:35,293 --> 01:02:36,960
Are you sure there's
nothing I can do to help?

1178
01:02:37,003 --> 01:02:38,587
- No, thank you, I'm fine.
- I have to help!

1179
01:02:38,671 --> 01:02:40,005
Oh!

1180
01:02:40,798 --> 01:02:41,923
Mince pie, Alec?

1181
01:02:43,134 --> 01:02:44,676
- No, thank you.
- Are you sure?

1182
01:02:44,802 --> 01:02:46,094
Why are you standing like that?

1183
01:02:46,179 --> 01:02:47,471
Just offering Alec a mince pie.

1184
01:02:47,513 --> 01:02:48,764
He doesn't want a mince pie.

1185
01:02:48,848 --> 01:02:50,474
- You don't... You don't?
- No.

1186
01:02:52,018 --> 01:02:53,435
Just stand up.

1187
01:02:55,146 --> 01:02:57,689
That's that market we went to
in Taroudant.

1188
01:02:57,815 --> 01:02:59,608
- Let me see, darling.
- Yes.

1189
01:02:59,692 --> 01:03:01,985
Um, it was gorgeous,
they had the most incredible figs.

1190
01:03:02,028 --> 01:03:04,029
I'm sure nobody
wants to hear about the figs.

1191
01:03:04,113 --> 01:03:05,822
Because it wasn't very...
Look at the cat!

1192
01:03:05,865 --> 01:03:07,282
Fucking little cocksucker.

1193
01:03:08,034 --> 01:03:09,201
Give this back to me.

1194
01:03:10,036 --> 01:03:11,328
Give it!

1195
01:03:12,622 --> 01:03:14,039
Just sit down.

1196
01:03:15,833 --> 01:03:17,042
Goodness me.

1197
01:03:17,168 --> 01:03:19,336
- Is it still working?
- Yes.

1198
01:03:19,378 --> 01:03:24,007
This is the town square. They had
snake charmers and performing monkeys.

1199
01:03:24,133 --> 01:03:25,842
Oh! That looks so magical.

1200
01:03:26,844 --> 01:03:28,345
Me with a monkey.

1201
01:03:28,513 --> 01:03:30,222
Darling, you look so sweet.

1202
01:03:31,224 --> 01:03:33,892
Oh! Me trying on those slippers.
They were very pretty.

1203
01:03:33,976 --> 01:03:35,393
They look it.

1204
01:03:36,229 --> 01:03:37,312
Us having cocktails.

1205
01:03:37,396 --> 01:03:39,481
There was a beautiful bar
at the top of the hotel.

1206
01:03:39,565 --> 01:03:41,066
We'd go there every evening.

1207
01:03:41,484 --> 01:03:43,527
Us having more cocktails.

1208
01:04:08,928 --> 01:04:10,428
It was a junior suite.

1209
01:04:10,555 --> 01:04:12,931
Uh... Not terribly expensive.

1210
01:04:13,766 --> 01:04:17,227
Lovely view of the orchards.
In fact, you can... If you just...

1211
01:04:17,436 --> 01:04:20,397
You can just see in the
background there, the... Phwoar.

1212
01:04:22,400 --> 01:04:24,234
That's doggy style.

1213
01:04:25,319 --> 01:04:27,237
Nat's favourite. Isn't it, Nat?

1214
01:04:36,664 --> 01:04:38,456
Why don't I drive?

1215
01:04:39,000 --> 01:04:40,333
You drive like you've got a vagina.

1216
01:04:40,418 --> 01:04:43,295
You could do.
Or I could glue myself to a deckchair

1217
01:04:43,379 --> 01:04:44,838
and you could kick me down a stairwell.

1218
01:04:44,922 --> 01:04:47,674
Both about as enjoyable.
Both about as likely to happen.

1219
01:04:48,259 --> 01:04:50,468
Why do you do it?

1220
01:04:50,553 --> 01:04:53,013
Why are you still together?
You hate each other.

1221
01:04:53,097 --> 01:04:55,849
Of course we do, but that's marriage.

1222
01:04:56,851 --> 01:04:58,852
I mean, you embrace the hatred.

1223
01:04:59,937 --> 01:05:01,813
And I married a man
who wears driving gloves.

1224
01:05:01,898 --> 01:05:03,189
Actually helps you get purchase.

1225
01:05:03,274 --> 01:05:05,358
Don't say "purchase".

1226
01:05:05,610 --> 01:05:09,237
But how do you know that the hate
won't outweigh the love?

1227
01:05:09,322 --> 01:05:11,823
How do you know there's not
someone better out there for you?

1228
01:05:11,908 --> 01:05:14,409
Well, Christ, there is.
Of course there is.

1229
01:05:15,328 --> 01:05:17,287
But marriage is about living
with the imperfections, isn't it?

1230
01:05:17,371 --> 01:05:19,414
I mean, look at that stupid ginger face.

1231
01:05:20,458 --> 01:05:22,375
It's true. I'd miss her.

1232
01:05:22,460 --> 01:05:24,252
Look at those beautiful eyes,
big warm heart.

1233
01:05:24,337 --> 01:05:26,379
You know, she hasn't aged a day
since I met her.

1234
01:05:26,464 --> 01:05:30,425
And as you get to know each other more,
well, you love each other more.

1235
01:05:30,760 --> 01:05:32,469
No, don't you try and kiss me.

1236
01:05:37,266 --> 01:05:39,017
- Did you forget something?
- Yeah.

1237
01:05:40,227 --> 01:05:42,562
- We're gonna hit traffic, you know.
- Yeah, you will.

1238
01:05:46,275 --> 01:05:47,359
Tonight should be interesting.

1239
01:05:47,443 --> 01:05:49,611
They could be really right
for each other.

1240
01:05:49,695 --> 01:05:52,572
Because Chloe's so sweet,
and Guy seems all right.

1241
01:05:52,657 --> 01:05:55,033
What do you think? What about that?

1242
01:05:55,159 --> 01:05:56,493
No?

1243
01:05:56,869 --> 01:05:58,119
Yeah.

1244
01:05:58,204 --> 01:06:01,915
Chloe's lovely.
I don't know how you let her slip away.

1245
01:06:02,249 --> 01:06:04,000
What, Chloe? No!

1246
01:06:05,002 --> 01:06:07,420
She's too nice. She's too perfect.

1247
01:06:07,505 --> 01:06:09,631
A little of Chloe goes a long way.

1248
01:06:09,715 --> 01:06:11,424
Yeah, I mean,
she can be kind of grating.

1249
01:06:11,509 --> 01:06:14,386
Totally. This one? Rugby?

1250
01:06:15,554 --> 01:06:16,638
No?

1251
01:06:17,223 --> 01:06:20,475
But Guy, I mean, he's quite a catch.
He's just your type, really.

1252
01:06:20,559 --> 01:06:24,062
No, he's too slick
for his own good.

1253
01:06:24,605 --> 01:06:25,981
Bit too American.

1254
01:06:26,732 --> 01:06:28,692
You're my type.
I don't really go for good-looking.

1255
01:06:29,318 --> 01:06:30,652
Oh.

1256
01:06:35,199 --> 01:06:38,660
Hi. Great to see you.
You're looking very sexy.

1257
01:06:38,744 --> 01:06:39,995
And, Nat, you look good, too.

1258
01:06:44,625 --> 01:06:45,834
Uh, you two pop yourselves down.

1259
01:06:45,918 --> 01:06:47,210
I'm gonna nip off
to the little boys' room.

1260
01:06:47,294 --> 01:06:49,796
See if I can find myself
some little boys.

1261
01:06:49,880 --> 01:06:52,132
Obviously not.
Just gonna go for a quick wee.

1262
01:06:52,216 --> 01:06:53,258
Not the other.

1263
01:06:55,594 --> 01:06:57,387
Sorry about that.

1264
01:07:04,270 --> 01:07:06,354
So, is tonight not a bit weird?

1265
01:07:06,439 --> 01:07:08,690
Do you promise
not to get insanely jealous?

1266
01:07:10,443 --> 01:07:11,776
Honestly.

1267
01:07:12,737 --> 01:07:15,989
Chloe is fantastic. You'll love her.

1268
01:07:16,657 --> 01:07:21,161
She's the best. The best!
She's so kind. Wonderfully kind.

1269
01:07:21,245 --> 01:07:23,580
- Mmm. Mmm.
- And pretty. She's very pretty.

1270
01:07:23,664 --> 01:07:26,624
Definitely, she's so pretty.
Hundred percent.

1271
01:07:31,922 --> 01:07:33,423
Hey, Chloe, you're here.

1272
01:07:33,507 --> 01:07:36,509
Yeah. Look, if this is weird, I can go.

1273
01:07:36,635 --> 01:07:39,846
It's just that, you know, you set it up
and you didn't seem to mind.

1274
01:07:39,930 --> 01:07:41,639
No, I don't mind, it's not weird.
Why would I find it weird?

1275
01:07:41,724 --> 01:07:44,768
Listen, the bloke's a bit of a twat,
but you might like him.

1276
01:07:45,311 --> 01:07:47,437
Oh, yeah! I love a twat.

1277
01:07:47,521 --> 01:07:49,564
Single girl, looking for a guy.

1278
01:07:49,648 --> 01:07:51,941
No non-twats considered.

1279
01:07:52,026 --> 01:07:53,276
Oh, shit. Okay, they've seen us.

1280
01:07:54,612 --> 01:07:56,446
Let's go do this.

1281
01:07:56,530 --> 01:08:00,700
Okay, final game.
It's Brits one, Yanks one.

1282
01:08:00,785 --> 01:08:03,620
We owe this to our great nation
to win this, Chloe.

1283
01:08:03,704 --> 01:08:04,954
- Let's do it.
- Yes, sir!

1284
01:08:05,039 --> 01:08:07,457
Just look at us. We're all getting on
like a house on fire.

1285
01:08:07,541 --> 01:08:09,292
I've never really understood
that phrase.

1286
01:08:09,376 --> 01:08:10,418
Exactly why is it good

1287
01:08:10,503 --> 01:08:13,379
to get on like a house on fire? I mean,
there might be small kids left inside.

1288
01:08:13,464 --> 01:08:14,547
- Think of them.
- I know!

1289
01:08:14,632 --> 01:08:17,133
And the possibility of asphyxiation...

1290
01:08:17,218 --> 01:08:19,260
Or at the very least,
the loss of any no-claims bonus.

1291
01:08:20,638 --> 01:08:21,971
It's just a metaphor.

1292
01:08:22,056 --> 01:08:24,516
It means something that's
uncontrollable, has momentum.

1293
01:08:24,642 --> 01:08:26,601
Exactly. So, tell me this.

1294
01:08:26,685 --> 01:08:29,020
What would be the first thing
you'd save in a fire? Let me guess.

1295
01:08:29,522 --> 01:08:31,272
- Jimmy Choos.
- Your wedding ring.

1296
01:08:33,067 --> 01:08:34,943
Well, obviously my wedding ring.

1297
01:08:35,027 --> 01:08:37,445
But I've got two hands, haven't I?

1298
01:08:37,530 --> 01:08:39,030
She does love that ring.

1299
01:08:39,615 --> 01:08:42,200
The first thing I noticed about you.
Wasn't it?

1300
01:09:00,010 --> 01:09:01,052
Sorry, Nat. Excuse me.

1301
01:09:07,643 --> 01:09:08,685
Fuck off.

1302
01:09:09,937 --> 01:09:11,271
Yeah, that's too bad.

1303
01:09:11,730 --> 01:09:13,857
I'd probably rescue that necklace
that I got you

1304
01:09:13,941 --> 01:09:15,733
when we got engaged in Venice.

1305
01:09:15,818 --> 01:09:17,944
That's sweet. It's beautiful.

1306
01:09:19,947 --> 01:09:21,489
How about you, Chloe?

1307
01:09:21,615 --> 01:09:24,284
I'm guessing something
sentimental, emotional?

1308
01:09:25,119 --> 01:09:26,161
Um...

1309
01:09:26,245 --> 01:09:28,037
- It's your shot, Guy.
- Sorry?

1310
01:09:28,122 --> 01:09:30,874
- It's your shot, mate.
- Sorry.

1311
01:09:30,958 --> 01:09:33,209
You wouldn't really head for the shoes,
though, would you, Chloe?

1312
01:09:33,294 --> 01:09:34,961
Fashion's not really your thing.

1313
01:09:35,254 --> 01:09:37,297
Why would it be?
I mean, look at her.

1314
01:09:37,423 --> 01:09:38,631
She'd make anything look fantastic.

1315
01:09:40,134 --> 01:09:42,802
- She'd make a sack look incredible.
- Thanks.

1316
01:09:42,887 --> 01:09:44,012
Good shot.

1317
01:09:44,096 --> 01:09:47,265
Yeah, it's like, what's the opposite of,
"You cannot polish a turd"?

1318
01:09:47,558 --> 01:09:49,267
She's an already polished turd.

1319
01:09:49,560 --> 01:09:52,145
She's a turd buffed to a high sheen.

1320
01:09:53,063 --> 01:09:54,314
Thanks.

1321
01:09:54,857 --> 01:09:55,899
Unlucky, pal.

1322
01:09:55,983 --> 01:09:57,400
Yeah, honestly, if the stuff burnt up,

1323
01:09:57,484 --> 01:10:00,320
I think I'd just view it
as a chance to start over,

1324
01:10:00,404 --> 01:10:04,782
you know, have a new adventure. I'm not
too bothered by material possessions.

1325
01:10:04,867 --> 01:10:07,327
All right, come down on it a bit.

1326
01:10:07,745 --> 01:10:09,162
Come on.

1327
01:10:09,246 --> 01:10:10,955
And use your arm
to go back and forth with it

1328
01:10:11,040 --> 01:10:12,290
so you really get a nice pumping action.

1329
01:10:12,917 --> 01:10:14,042
Then go through the ball,

1330
01:10:14,126 --> 01:10:16,085
and you want to hit it
on the edge there.

1331
01:10:16,170 --> 01:10:17,921
Ah, ah, ah! If you put the cue

1332
01:10:18,172 --> 01:10:19,714
between your thumb
and your first finger,

1333
01:10:19,798 --> 01:10:21,925
you'll find it easier to get...
That's it.

1334
01:10:21,967 --> 01:10:24,928
Now get this moving
before you take the shot.

1335
01:10:25,012 --> 01:10:26,012
Come down a bit lower on it.

1336
01:10:26,764 --> 01:10:28,806
Don't take the...
Come on, not that low.

1337
01:10:29,642 --> 01:10:32,936
That's it.
Now play through the ball, and breathe.

1338
01:10:35,022 --> 01:10:36,314
There's no point, is there?

1339
01:10:36,398 --> 01:10:38,983
If we're not gonna do it properly,
it's like, what's the point?

1340
01:10:39,068 --> 01:10:40,443
- There's no point in playing, is there?
- Nice try.

1341
01:10:40,527 --> 01:10:42,320
Oh, I think it's my shot.

1342
01:10:42,404 --> 01:10:43,780
I think Chloe's right.

1343
01:10:43,864 --> 01:10:48,117
I mean, nice things is great,
but ultimately, so what?

1344
01:10:48,202 --> 01:10:50,203
As long as the people you love are safe.

1345
01:10:51,121 --> 01:10:52,372
That's it. You got that?

1346
01:10:53,499 --> 01:10:54,707
Good shot, Chloe.

1347
01:10:54,792 --> 01:10:56,209
Did you see that?

1348
01:10:56,293 --> 01:10:58,086
That was... Wow!

1349
01:10:58,170 --> 01:11:00,421
I can't believe it. Oh!

1350
01:11:00,589 --> 01:11:03,633
- It'll never happen again.
- Oh, it will. Be positive.

1351
01:11:03,717 --> 01:11:06,302
No. Once in a lifetime.

1352
01:11:07,137 --> 01:11:09,639
It's so sweet,
what you said about that necklace.

1353
01:11:09,723 --> 01:11:10,723
Yeah.

1354
01:11:10,808 --> 01:11:13,643
- I should wear it more often.
- Okay. What do you think?

1355
01:11:13,727 --> 01:11:16,896
- I think you're good on your own.
- Oh, you touched the cue ball.

1356
01:11:16,981 --> 01:11:18,356
- Oh.
- So...

1357
01:11:18,440 --> 01:11:20,024
- Really?
- I mean, if you want to play proper...

1358
01:11:20,109 --> 01:11:21,985
No, it's fine if you want to...

1359
01:11:22,069 --> 01:11:23,528
- Okay.
- Sorry.

1360
01:11:23,612 --> 01:11:25,029
- Happens all the time, don't worry.
- I'm sorry.

1361
01:11:25,114 --> 01:11:26,281
It's two shots if...

1362
01:11:26,365 --> 01:11:28,866
- No, no, it's cool. You...
- All right. No, no. No, go ahead.

1363
01:11:28,951 --> 01:11:30,326
- I don't want to be a dick about it...
- No!

1364
01:11:30,411 --> 01:11:31,411
- Too late.
- Are you sure?

1365
01:11:31,495 --> 01:11:32,578
- Take your two shots.
- Fine.

1366
01:11:32,788 --> 01:11:34,789
- Well, that was fun.
- Yeah.

1367
01:11:34,873 --> 01:11:36,499
We should do it again.
What do you say, Josh?

1368
01:11:36,583 --> 01:11:38,126
Give you Brits a chance for revenge?

1369
01:11:38,252 --> 01:11:40,878
Oh, yeah, 'cause...
When my elbow's a bit better,

1370
01:11:40,963 --> 01:11:42,588
I'll be able to give you
a much better game. Probably win.

1371
01:11:42,673 --> 01:11:44,340
Yeah, that sounds fun.

1372
01:11:44,425 --> 01:11:45,508
Can I walk you to your car?

1373
01:11:45,634 --> 01:11:48,219
Oh, you know,
I'm just gonna catch a cab,

1374
01:11:48,304 --> 01:11:50,138
but you can wait with me if you like.

1375
01:11:50,222 --> 01:11:51,931
- Be my pleasure.
- Okay.

1376
01:11:52,016 --> 01:11:54,976
Actually, Guy, do you mind
if I quickly grab you for two minutes?

1377
01:11:55,060 --> 01:11:57,186
Just to talk packaging
before the meeting.

1378
01:11:57,521 --> 01:11:58,646
Is that okay?

1379
01:11:59,481 --> 01:12:01,482
- Sure.
- Thanks. Sorry.

1380
01:12:02,234 --> 01:12:04,319
Well, I could help you
get a cab, if you want.

1381
01:12:04,653 --> 01:12:05,778
And I'll wait with you.

1382
01:12:07,614 --> 01:12:09,324
Okay, yeah.

1383
01:12:10,868 --> 01:12:12,744
- I had a blast, partner.
- Oh!

1384
01:12:12,828 --> 01:12:14,996
We are what make our nation great.

1385
01:12:15,456 --> 01:12:18,082
I'd like to check out that Kandinsky
thing you were talking about.

1386
01:12:18,167 --> 01:12:20,084
That sounds very interesting.

1387
01:12:20,627 --> 01:12:22,170
Thank you.

1388
01:12:24,673 --> 01:12:26,674
Aw, that's nice. All right?

1389
01:12:26,759 --> 01:12:28,384
Okay, I'll see you back at the flat.

1390
01:12:28,469 --> 01:12:30,595
All right. All the best.

1391
01:12:33,057 --> 01:12:34,474
I presume we need to make a decision

1392
01:12:34,558 --> 01:12:37,643
on the LinkWorth tender
for the branding.

1393
01:12:38,395 --> 01:12:39,437
What are your thoughts?

1394
01:12:45,277 --> 01:12:47,820
Whoa, whoa, whoa,
I thought you said that this...

1395
01:13:00,793 --> 01:13:03,336
Oh, Christ, even your
underwear's amazing.

1396
01:13:08,217 --> 01:13:10,385
It's a little fiddly.

1397
01:13:11,387 --> 01:13:13,137
Just rip it off. Just rip it!

1398
01:13:13,222 --> 01:13:14,889
There it is!

1399
01:13:16,350 --> 01:13:20,395
That Guy's so dull. He's so bland.

1400
01:13:20,979 --> 01:13:22,480
You don't like him, do you?

1401
01:13:22,815 --> 01:13:24,107
Taxi!

1402
01:13:25,234 --> 01:13:26,567
No?

1403
01:13:28,654 --> 01:13:32,156
What's going on, Josh?
What are we even doing?

1404
01:13:33,575 --> 01:13:35,660
What do you mean? Taxi!

1405
01:13:36,703 --> 01:13:38,621
Your light's on! Put your light...

1406
01:13:38,914 --> 01:13:40,289
His light was on. Why would...

1407
01:13:42,042 --> 01:13:44,377
You realise I love you, don't you?

1408
01:13:45,087 --> 01:13:47,338
I'm in love with a man
who just got married

1409
01:13:47,423 --> 01:13:49,715
and we're both pretending
that it's fine.

1410
01:13:50,050 --> 01:13:51,467
Tonight was so fucked-up!

1411
01:13:51,552 --> 01:13:52,927
Taxi!

1412
01:13:56,348 --> 01:13:58,891
No, no.
Uh, excuse me, excuse me. No.

1413
01:13:58,976 --> 01:14:00,768
No, no, no, you don't do that.

1414
01:14:00,853 --> 01:14:02,854
That's not how
decent people behave, is it?

1415
01:14:02,938 --> 01:14:05,231
How is society supposed to function

1416
01:14:05,315 --> 01:14:08,609
with people like you
dragging us into a cesspit?

1417
01:14:08,986 --> 01:14:10,361
Mmm? We're not animals!

1418
01:14:10,779 --> 01:14:13,948
- Sorry, we just didn't see you.
- Didn't realise it was your taxi.

1419
01:14:14,032 --> 01:14:16,200
- Please, take it.
- Take it, you can have it.

1420
01:14:16,285 --> 01:14:18,286
So sorry. I'm sorry.

1421
01:14:19,079 --> 01:14:20,371
What am I supposed to do?

1422
01:14:20,456 --> 01:14:23,040
I can't just walk out of a marriage
after nine months.

1423
01:14:23,125 --> 01:14:24,333
Why not?

1424
01:14:24,418 --> 01:14:27,336
Pride? Afraid of what people will say?

1425
01:14:28,297 --> 01:14:31,799
Figure out what you actually
want to fight for, Josh.

1426
01:14:32,217 --> 01:14:33,468
When I went to Africa,

1427
01:14:33,552 --> 01:14:36,012
I convinced myself
that we were too young

1428
01:14:36,096 --> 01:14:37,680
and somebody better would come along,

1429
01:14:37,764 --> 01:14:39,765
but they never did
and they still haven't.

1430
01:14:40,476 --> 01:14:43,895
And now, every time I see you, I think,

1431
01:14:43,979 --> 01:14:45,521
why didn't you stop me?

1432
01:14:46,607 --> 01:14:48,774
Why didn't you fight?

1433
01:14:52,446 --> 01:14:54,280
This has to stop.

1434
01:14:55,115 --> 01:14:57,200
I can't see you any more.

1435
01:14:58,243 --> 01:14:59,994
You're married.

1436
01:15:00,579 --> 01:15:04,123
I can't see you any more.

1437
01:15:17,888 --> 01:15:19,972
- Dinner and a show, was it?
- As it happens.

1438
01:15:20,057 --> 01:15:21,933
Yeah? Nice.

1439
01:15:22,017 --> 01:15:23,476
Sorry.

1440
01:15:41,411 --> 01:15:42,828
We need to talk.

1441
01:15:43,330 --> 01:15:45,373
We do, yeah.

1442
01:15:46,625 --> 01:15:48,626
I don't know what's happening here,

1443
01:15:49,378 --> 01:15:51,003
but it's been nine months

1444
01:15:52,172 --> 01:15:53,381
and neither of us is happy

1445
01:15:54,925 --> 01:15:56,509
and I don't know how to change things.

1446
01:15:56,843 --> 01:15:59,804
I just never imagined that marriage
would be this difficult, you know?

1447
01:16:01,765 --> 01:16:04,016
I don't want to be Hugh and Naomi.

1448
01:16:04,101 --> 01:16:06,602
I don't want to constantly row
over whether the bin's full or not.

1449
01:16:06,687 --> 01:16:09,105
I don't see what's wrong with compacting
the rubbish to make more space...

1450
01:16:09,189 --> 01:16:11,941
- I'm not rowing about the bin again.
- Neither am I.

1451
01:16:15,571 --> 01:16:19,949
Look, if you want to walk away,
I understand.

1452
01:16:20,993 --> 01:16:22,243
Well, is that what you want?

1453
01:16:22,703 --> 01:16:24,120
That's not what I'm saying.

1454
01:16:24,204 --> 01:16:25,871
Because it sounds like
you don't want to make it work.

1455
01:16:27,833 --> 01:16:29,083
Stop putting words into my mouth.

1456
01:16:29,167 --> 01:16:30,835
You're the one who said
marriage was difficult.

1457
01:16:31,044 --> 01:16:33,546
Yeah, but I didn't say anything
about walking away.

1458
01:16:34,673 --> 01:16:37,550
So, if you want to give up...

1459
01:16:38,719 --> 01:16:40,011
I'm not the one giving up.

1460
01:16:40,304 --> 01:16:41,637
Well, nor am I.

1461
01:16:42,222 --> 01:16:43,347
Well,

1462
01:16:43,473 --> 01:16:44,557
good.

1463
01:16:44,850 --> 01:16:46,684
That's good.

1464
01:16:50,772 --> 01:16:52,898
So what do we do?

1465
01:16:53,567 --> 01:16:55,735
So, that's why
we've come here today.

1466
01:16:56,570 --> 01:16:57,653
We've hit our low point,

1467
01:16:57,738 --> 01:17:01,282
but we're committed
to making our marriage succeed.

1468
01:17:03,368 --> 01:17:05,328
You should just cut your losses now

1469
01:17:05,412 --> 01:17:07,913
before your life
becomes a series of squabbles

1470
01:17:08,040 --> 01:17:10,082
about who's meant to pick the kids up,

1471
01:17:10,167 --> 01:17:15,212
who put the King's Speech DVD
back in the Sound of Music DVD case.

1472
01:17:15,672 --> 01:17:17,590
I suppose,
if you really want to make it work,

1473
01:17:17,716 --> 01:17:21,594
you could try focusing
on making it to a year.

1474
01:17:22,971 --> 01:17:26,182
Commit to a life with each other
for the next three months.

1475
01:17:49,998 --> 01:17:51,123
What is it?

1476
01:17:51,625 --> 01:17:53,542
Is it a film?

1477
01:17:53,627 --> 01:17:55,002
- How many words?
- Novel?

1478
01:17:55,087 --> 01:17:57,088
Well, you must know
how many words there are.

1479
01:17:57,172 --> 01:17:58,964
Sounds like?

1480
01:18:22,364 --> 01:18:24,865
I understand you're looking to sell.

1481
01:18:27,828 --> 01:18:29,495
I'm from Foxtons.

1482
01:18:43,385 --> 01:18:44,593
Boom, boom.

1483
01:19:16,084 --> 01:19:20,129
So, this time last year,
you'd been Mrs Moss for...

1484
01:19:20,213 --> 01:19:22,631
Sixty-seven, sixty-eight, sixty...

1485
01:19:22,716 --> 01:19:24,675
...an hour and eight minutes.

1486
01:19:25,510 --> 01:19:27,636
We made it.

1487
01:19:28,180 --> 01:19:30,014
One year.

1488
01:19:31,141 --> 01:19:33,517
We should be proud of ourselves.

1489
01:19:38,523 --> 01:19:40,191
Ta-da.

1490
01:19:41,193 --> 01:19:45,362
I thought I'd bring out the big guns
for a special occasion.

1491
01:19:46,198 --> 01:19:48,532
- Could you help do me up?
- Yeah.

1492
01:19:59,419 --> 01:20:00,961
I think two of these hooks are broken.

1493
01:20:02,589 --> 01:20:04,507
- Oh. Really?
- Yeah, I think so.

1494
01:20:04,591 --> 01:20:09,094
- God. Um, let me fix it.
- All right.

1495
01:20:23,360 --> 01:20:26,237
Hon, I've just remembered
I've got to do something. Um...

1496
01:20:26,822 --> 01:20:29,907
I'll see you at the restaurant.
Tell Hugh and Naomi, okay?

1497
01:20:30,158 --> 01:20:33,619
Sure. I'll see you there.

1498
01:21:04,609 --> 01:21:07,236
You know, you haven't even
told me where we're going yet.

1499
01:21:08,113 --> 01:21:10,406
I wanted to surprise you.

1500
01:21:18,915 --> 01:21:21,792
Surprise!

1501
01:21:22,711 --> 01:21:23,794
What's going on?

1502
01:21:23,879 --> 01:21:25,629
I wanted to organise
a little party for you.

1503
01:21:25,922 --> 01:21:28,007
A year is a big achievement.

1504
01:21:28,091 --> 01:21:29,508
Where is your stupid husband?

1505
01:21:36,474 --> 01:21:38,517
Did you remember your passport?

1506
01:21:39,895 --> 01:21:41,186
Here.

1507
01:21:41,271 --> 01:21:42,938
Is this human trafficking?

1508
01:21:43,023 --> 01:21:46,108
You're not gonna keep it
and sell me to a gang of Albanians

1509
01:21:46,192 --> 01:21:48,402
who'll make me pleasure
25 truck drivers a day

1510
01:21:48,486 --> 01:21:51,572
at some port in Belgium
for me to earn it back, are you?

1511
01:21:51,656 --> 01:21:54,491
No, no. Absolutely not.

1512
01:21:55,160 --> 01:21:56,952
It's a terrible situation, though.

1513
01:21:57,662 --> 01:21:59,371
Those women...

1514
01:22:00,165 --> 01:22:04,793
I can't help but think they all just
started life as someone's little baby.

1515
01:22:07,547 --> 01:22:08,672
He's still not picking up.

1516
01:22:10,008 --> 01:22:11,133
He's never usually late.

1517
01:22:11,217 --> 01:22:13,636
God, can we start without him?
I'm starving.

1518
01:22:13,720 --> 01:22:15,179
We've been here forever.

1519
01:22:15,263 --> 01:22:17,514
I can't believe he's late
for our first-anniversary dinner.

1520
01:22:17,682 --> 01:22:19,058
I can't believe you even made it...

1521
01:22:19,142 --> 01:22:21,143
...to your first-anniversary dinner.

1522
01:22:21,686 --> 01:22:22,895
- What?
- Hmm?

1523
01:22:23,021 --> 01:22:24,021
Mmm?

1524
01:22:26,775 --> 01:22:31,028
Well, one year is pretty remarkable,

1525
01:22:31,237 --> 01:22:33,989
given that you two are completely
ill-suited for one another, isn't it?

1526
01:22:34,074 --> 01:22:35,950
I mean, no one thought
you were gonna make it a month,

1527
01:22:36,034 --> 01:22:37,076
much less a year.

1528
01:22:37,160 --> 01:22:38,202
Really?

1529
01:22:38,244 --> 01:22:40,913
I didn't actually think you'd make it
past the honeymoon, honestly.

1530
01:22:40,997 --> 01:22:42,289
I thought you'd fuck a Moroccan.

1531
01:22:42,374 --> 01:22:43,415
- Whoa.
- I really did.

1532
01:22:43,500 --> 01:22:44,500
And I wouldn't have blamed you

1533
01:22:44,584 --> 01:22:46,460
because they're very beguiling,
the Moroccans.

1534
01:22:46,544 --> 01:22:49,880
If you sort of like
the swarthy gentleman.

1535
01:22:50,215 --> 01:22:52,216
- Thanks. And no, I don't.
- That's not your thing?

1536
01:22:52,300 --> 01:22:54,134
- No.
- Ooh. A bit racist?

1537
01:22:54,219 --> 01:22:56,553
I bet you'd do it. You'd do it
with a foreign fellow, wouldn't you?

1538
01:22:56,972 --> 01:22:58,722
What about the Chinese fellows?

1539
01:22:58,848 --> 01:23:00,975
Because they've not got
a great reputation as lovers.

1540
01:23:01,059 --> 01:23:03,936
But they must be doing something right,
because there's billions of them.

1541
01:23:04,062 --> 01:23:05,854
You've got your Germans. Ach!
Very efficient.

1542
01:23:05,939 --> 01:23:09,066
Like
a machine, just...  In and out.

1543
01:23:09,192 --> 01:23:10,901
"I vill annex your vagina!

1544
01:23:10,986 --> 01:23:12,987
"And then Poland!"
No, forgive and forget.

1545
01:23:13,071 --> 01:23:14,655
But d'you know what?
I don't know about you,

1546
01:23:14,739 --> 01:23:17,199
I've never met someone
who's had sex with an Eskimo.

1547
01:23:17,283 --> 01:23:18,909
Be good, wouldn't it?
Because they'd start with the noses

1548
01:23:18,994 --> 01:23:21,078
and then they'd, ooh, get down,
you know, with the...

1549
01:23:21,871 --> 01:23:25,374
Do you think they do that down there?
Not using the... Just... On the nose.

1550
01:23:26,668 --> 01:23:28,419
I bet you've had a few of them, yeah.
And him.

1551
01:23:28,503 --> 01:23:29,670
No, good luck to you.

1552
01:23:30,755 --> 01:23:33,799
- Thanks.
- But, I mean, you did it. One year!

1553
01:23:33,883 --> 01:23:35,009
- Yay!
- Yay!

1554
01:23:35,093 --> 01:23:36,760
Don't you clap.

1555
01:23:37,679 --> 01:23:39,680
Go on, give that twat
of a husband another call.

1556
01:23:39,764 --> 01:23:40,848
Don't use your phone, use mine.

1557
01:23:40,932 --> 01:23:43,809
Because sometimes he avoids you if he
sees your name come up on the caller ID.

1558
01:24:22,932 --> 01:24:26,101
Oh, God. Happy anniversary!

1559
01:24:30,398 --> 01:24:32,399
Naomi arranged it.

1560
01:24:33,777 --> 01:24:35,569
Happy one year.

1561
01:24:36,404 --> 01:24:37,821
I need to tell you something, Nat.

1562
01:24:40,116 --> 01:24:42,326
I just think you're
the most incredible woman.

1563
01:24:42,619 --> 01:24:44,703
- Aw!
- How about that?

1564
01:24:44,788 --> 01:24:46,705
So beautiful.

1565
01:24:47,082 --> 01:24:50,042
And smart and bright and funny.

1566
01:24:50,794 --> 01:24:51,877
You're perfect.

1567
01:24:52,962 --> 01:24:55,297
- You're the perfect wife.
- Aw, sweet.

1568
01:24:58,635 --> 01:24:59,718
But just not for me.

1569
01:25:01,638 --> 01:25:04,014
I've waited my whole life
for the right girl to show up.

1570
01:25:04,432 --> 01:25:06,183
And it turns out that you weren't it.

1571
01:25:06,684 --> 01:25:09,853
I don't find the way that you crinkle
your nose when you laugh adorable,

1572
01:25:09,938 --> 01:25:11,230
the way you flick your hair,

1573
01:25:11,314 --> 01:25:12,815
- it's quite frankly irritating.
- Hear, hear.

1574
01:25:12,899 --> 01:25:14,900
I wanted to cherish
everything about you,

1575
01:25:14,984 --> 01:25:17,945
but it just didn't happen.

1576
01:25:20,198 --> 01:25:21,990
So I guess what I'm trying to say is...

1577
01:25:22,992 --> 01:25:24,535
Natasha Moss...

1578
01:25:25,995 --> 01:25:27,329
will you divorce me?

1579
01:25:29,666 --> 01:25:31,083
Yes.

1580
01:25:31,167 --> 01:25:33,752
Yes. Yes! I will!

1581
01:25:33,837 --> 01:25:35,587
- I absolutely will!
- That's so amazing!

1582
01:25:35,672 --> 01:25:37,422
- Do you really mean it?
- Absolutely!

1583
01:25:37,507 --> 01:25:40,592
I've been waiting for this moment
for months, hoping it would happen.

1584
01:25:40,677 --> 01:25:41,969
I can't believe that you asked me.

1585
01:25:42,053 --> 01:25:43,512
Why didn't you just say something, then?

1586
01:25:43,596 --> 01:25:46,515
I didn't want to hurt your feelings.
I thought it would break your heart.

1587
01:25:46,850 --> 01:25:50,227
You've made me the happiest woman
in the world.

1588
01:25:51,354 --> 01:25:52,396
I love you.

1589
01:25:52,730 --> 01:25:53,856
But you're not in love with me.

1590
01:25:53,940 --> 01:25:56,108
No! God, no.

1591
01:25:56,192 --> 01:25:58,068
Unequivocally not in love with you.

1592
01:25:58,444 --> 01:26:00,612
The opposite. The opposite of love.
Misery.

1593
01:26:00,697 --> 01:26:02,614
Me, too!

1594
01:26:03,366 --> 01:26:05,534
I can't believe
we felt the same for so long.

1595
01:26:05,618 --> 01:26:09,413
Well, listen,
now we have the rest of our lives

1596
01:26:09,789 --> 01:26:11,081
not to be together.

1597
01:26:14,169 --> 01:26:15,502
Cheers?

1598
01:26:15,587 --> 01:26:17,838
Look, this is amazing, it's magical.

1599
01:26:17,922 --> 01:26:19,089
It's better than I could
ever have imagined,

1600
01:26:19,174 --> 01:26:20,966
but there's somewhere else
that I really need to be right now.

1601
01:26:21,050 --> 01:26:23,177
Oh, go! Seriously, go.
Do you need money for a cab?

1602
01:26:23,261 --> 01:26:24,303
No, I'm all right, I'm in the car,

1603
01:26:24,387 --> 01:26:26,305
but it was a nightmare trying to park,
so I'm basically in a...

1604
01:26:26,389 --> 01:26:29,516
Oh, God, stop it. Stop it.
It's so boring.

1605
01:26:29,601 --> 01:26:31,310
- It's just, the car's in your name...
- It's so boring.

1606
01:26:31,394 --> 01:26:33,478
- We should sort that out, actually.
- It's so boring. I don't care.

1607
01:26:33,563 --> 01:26:35,647
- All right, but...
- Honestly. Just go.

1608
01:26:49,078 --> 01:26:51,914
I will never have to see you again.

1609
01:26:52,999 --> 01:26:54,499
Ever.

1610
01:26:59,589 --> 01:27:01,089
Taxi!

1611
01:27:17,148 --> 01:27:18,523
Ta-da!

1612
01:27:19,108 --> 01:27:20,692
Oh, wow!

1613
01:27:20,777 --> 01:27:23,320
I've always wanted to go to Aachen.

1614
01:27:25,323 --> 01:27:27,866
No, uh, we're going to Paris.

1615
01:27:27,992 --> 01:27:29,243
Paris.

1616
01:27:30,245 --> 01:27:33,205
Ah!  Okay. Joke!

1617
01:27:33,790 --> 01:27:35,332
- Yeah.
- Yeah!

1618
01:27:49,264 --> 01:27:51,265
- I'm thinking two kids.
- Oh!

1619
01:27:51,349 --> 01:27:54,226
- Guy Junior and Gaia.
- Wait! Wait, stop!

1620
01:27:55,311 --> 01:27:56,436
- Stand back.
- Oh, my God.

1621
01:27:57,814 --> 01:27:59,439
I can't be without you, Chloe.

1622
01:28:00,024 --> 01:28:01,608
I think about you
every second of the day.

1623
01:28:03,027 --> 01:28:04,152
I need to be with you.

1624
01:28:04,696 --> 01:28:05,946
And I know
you want to be with me as well.

1625
01:28:06,030 --> 01:28:07,197
What the hell are you doing?

1626
01:28:07,282 --> 01:28:09,741
You can't just turn up
and try and steal my girlfriend away.

1627
01:28:09,826 --> 01:28:11,994
You're married. You're a married man.

1628
01:28:12,036 --> 01:28:13,704
You should get out of here, creep.

1629
01:28:14,122 --> 01:28:15,122
I split up with Nat.

1630
01:28:15,206 --> 01:28:17,541
- You split up with Nat?
- You split up with Nat?

1631
01:28:17,917 --> 01:28:20,544
Ever since you came back into my life,
I've known that I had to be with you.

1632
01:28:22,547 --> 01:28:25,132
When I lie in bed,
I think about the way that you laugh.

1633
01:28:25,717 --> 01:28:28,760
I can't work because I can't stop
imagining our lives together.

1634
01:28:29,679 --> 01:28:33,181
You're everything
that I've ever wanted in a...

1635
01:28:34,726 --> 01:28:37,352
- Nat?!
- Josh? What...

1636
01:28:39,605 --> 01:28:41,481
What? What?

1637
01:28:41,691 --> 01:28:42,983
Okay, sorry.

1638
01:28:45,069 --> 01:28:48,363
Nat, we spoke about this, didn't we?

1639
01:28:48,906 --> 01:28:50,615
- It's not gonna work out.
- No, I, uh...

1640
01:28:50,700 --> 01:28:52,034
- Actually, I'm...
- I'm not gonna change my mind.

1641
01:28:52,160 --> 01:28:54,536
- I don't care what you say.
- I'm, uh...

1642
01:28:55,580 --> 01:28:58,165
- I'm not here to see you.
- What are you doing?

1643
01:28:58,583 --> 01:29:00,042
I'm actually not here to see you.

1644
01:29:00,126 --> 01:29:01,960
What do you mean,
you're not actually here to see me?

1645
01:29:02,920 --> 01:29:04,421
Him!

1646
01:29:04,797 --> 01:29:06,089
- Really?
- And you...

1647
01:29:06,466 --> 01:29:08,425
- Her, yeah.
- Her, of course.

1648
01:29:08,509 --> 01:29:09,968
You're perfect for each other.

1649
01:29:10,053 --> 01:29:13,138
And I always thought he was much more
the kind of guy that you should go for.

1650
01:29:13,222 --> 01:29:14,848
Do you remember when I said to you
when I was trying to...

1651
01:29:14,932 --> 01:29:16,516
Oh, I do remember that!
I remember when you said that,

1652
01:29:16,601 --> 01:29:18,185
and at the time, I agreed.

1653
01:29:18,311 --> 01:29:19,353
And I thought in my mind,

1654
01:29:19,437 --> 01:29:20,604
"I think he's right,
I should be with him."

1655
01:29:20,688 --> 01:29:23,482
That's what I wanted.

1656
01:29:23,566 --> 01:29:25,859
Ah! And here we are.

1657
01:29:26,235 --> 01:29:27,319
Here we are.

1658
01:29:28,029 --> 01:29:31,031
And where were you?
Had you been explaining

1659
01:29:31,115 --> 01:29:33,033
- the bit about us...
- Us breaking up, yeah.

1660
01:29:33,159 --> 01:29:35,369
I was just explaining to Chloe
why I was in love with her.

1661
01:29:37,497 --> 01:29:41,291
Okay, is it just me,
or is this unbelievably awkward?

1662
01:29:41,376 --> 01:29:42,542
Look at that.

1663
01:29:42,627 --> 01:29:44,461
She's got that dry sense of humour
that you like.

1664
01:29:44,545 --> 01:29:46,463
I mean, I just don't have that.

1665
01:29:46,547 --> 01:29:50,675
And this guy, forget about it.
Unbelievable.

1666
01:29:51,302 --> 01:29:53,470
Proper grade-A hunk.

1667
01:29:53,554 --> 01:29:55,013
I could just drink you in.

1668
01:29:55,598 --> 01:29:57,057
Thanks.

1669
01:29:58,643 --> 01:30:02,813
But this lady here,
she's incredible.

1670
01:30:03,731 --> 01:30:06,483
And you make her eyes light up
in a way that I never could.

1671
01:30:11,489 --> 01:30:13,490
Would you mind...

1672
01:30:13,574 --> 01:30:15,659
No, no, uh... please.

1673
01:30:16,411 --> 01:30:17,619
Would it be all right if I...

1674
01:30:17,703 --> 01:30:19,079
Of course.

1675
01:30:19,872 --> 01:30:21,289
Thank you.

1676
01:30:26,963 --> 01:30:28,422
- Thank you.
- Oh!

1677
01:30:28,506 --> 01:30:30,590
- That's nice.
- Sorry.

1678
01:30:32,343 --> 01:30:34,803
No, not you, we don't want to do that.

1679
01:30:34,887 --> 01:30:37,347
Never again. Come around this side.

1680
01:30:37,432 --> 01:30:39,099
Hi.

1681
01:30:45,982 --> 01:30:47,858
- This is a bit weird.
- This is weird, isn't it?

1682
01:30:47,942 --> 01:30:49,359
- Yeah.
- We'll go.

1683
01:30:49,444 --> 01:30:51,194
- Let's go over here.
- No, we'll go.

1684
01:31:38,534 --> 01:31:40,285
- Who had the chicken feet?
- I did.

1685
01:31:40,369 --> 01:31:41,870
You had the chicken feet.

1686
01:31:41,954 --> 01:31:44,247
- We didn't have a starter.
- No, no.

1687
01:31:44,332 --> 01:31:46,583
And we didn't have the champagne.

1688
01:31:46,667 --> 01:31:50,128
We spent £45,000
on a wedding to your prick son!

1689
01:31:50,213 --> 01:31:53,423
You can chip in
for a bit of fucking dim sum!

1690
01:32:23,120 --> 01:32:24,454
All right, pause, pause, pause.

1691
01:32:24,539 --> 01:32:25,580
I'll tell you what we'll do.

1692
01:32:25,665 --> 01:32:29,167
We'll make a list of
pros and cons, right, of Nat.

1693
01:32:29,252 --> 01:32:33,296
Pros. Number one, body.

1694
01:32:33,381 --> 01:32:36,299
Excellent. I've seen it nude, loved it.

1695
01:32:36,384 --> 01:32:38,093
I beg your pardon?
When have you seen it nude?

1696
01:32:38,386 --> 01:32:40,804
Well, when we were
down in that place in Cornwall,

1697
01:32:40,888 --> 01:32:42,681
I sort of walked in
when she was getting changed.

1698
01:32:42,765 --> 01:32:44,140
- What do you mean, you walked in...
- "Accidentally."

1699
01:32:44,225 --> 01:32:46,434
- What's that? What's that?
- Hey, listen, I'll tell you,

1700
01:32:46,519 --> 01:32:49,729
you lock your door
or these peepers will come a-roving.

1701
01:32:49,897 --> 01:32:52,732
All right, mate? That's the way I roll.

1702
01:32:52,817 --> 01:32:54,484
You know that, she should know that.

1703
01:32:54,569 --> 01:32:56,861
What about that she's, um...

1704
01:32:58,114 --> 01:32:59,656
- Kind...
- Boring.

1705
01:32:59,740 --> 01:33:01,324
...and warm.

1706
01:33:01,409 --> 01:33:03,368
Warm?
Put the radiator on if you want warm.

1707
01:33:03,452 --> 01:33:05,453
And, um, good with kids.

1708
01:33:05,580 --> 01:33:07,747
So was Michael Jackson.
Look at that marriage. It didn't last.

1709
01:33:09,417 --> 01:33:10,417
Yeah, but I love her.

1710
01:33:10,501 --> 01:33:12,002
- Love.
- Well, I do.

1711
01:33:12,086 --> 01:33:13,295
Yeah, sounds a bit gay.

1712
01:33:13,754 --> 01:33:15,005
We can get back out there like the lads.

1713
01:33:15,089 --> 01:33:17,507
Like the old days, you know?
The Terrible Two.

1714
01:33:17,592 --> 01:33:18,592
Do you know what I mean?

1715
01:33:18,676 --> 01:33:20,510
"Lock up your daughters.
And your mothers."

1716
01:33:20,595 --> 01:33:21,845
I'm not fussy.

1717
01:33:22,179 --> 01:33:24,222
Every time I open my mouth
when I'm around her, she's like,

1718
01:33:24,307 --> 01:33:26,474
"No, don't say that.
You can't say that.

1719
01:33:26,559 --> 01:33:27,601
"You can't do that.

1720
01:33:27,935 --> 01:33:30,854
"Put your trousers on! Put your
trousers on! We're in a restaurant!"

1721
01:33:30,938 --> 01:33:33,189
- Oh, shut up.
- Well, she's...

1722
01:37:02,441 --> 01:37:04,442