1 00:00:07,207 --> 00:00:10,275 [accordion plays up-tempo tune] 2 00:00:22,789 --> 00:00:25,057 [low-tempo beat] 3 00:00:45,678 --> 00:00:50,816 [man] Seasoned crooks swear you only remember two days about your stretch in jail: 4 00:00:50,818 --> 00:00:52,484 The day you get in... 5 00:00:52,486 --> 00:00:54,787 [prisoners shouting] 6 00:00:54,789 --> 00:00:56,755 - Oh, boy. - ...and the day you get out. 7 00:00:56,757 --> 00:00:58,690 [shouting continues] 8 00:01:00,427 --> 00:01:02,394 But I'll tell you, those guys, 9 00:01:02,396 --> 00:01:04,229 they never been to a Polish prison. 10 00:01:04,231 --> 00:01:06,632 'Cause, buddy, you don't forget a second of your stay 11 00:01:06,634 --> 00:01:09,268 in the Warsaw penal system. 12 00:01:14,374 --> 00:01:14,373 Oh, boy. 13 00:01:14,375 --> 00:01:19,711 And you never stop thinking about what you done that got you there, 14 00:01:19,713 --> 00:01:22,247 and what you're going to do when you get out. 15 00:01:22,249 --> 00:01:25,818 And who you're going to do it to. 16 00:01:29,789 --> 00:01:32,424 I reckon it takes a betrayal before you realize 17 00:01:32,426 --> 00:01:37,729 the real currency in the world ain't money... it's trust. 18 00:01:39,833 --> 00:01:43,569 Hey. So, guess I'm topsies, huh? 19 00:01:44,571 --> 00:01:45,704 [man grunts, mumbles] 20 00:01:45,706 --> 00:01:50,209 'Cause if you got no trust... 21 00:01:50,211 --> 00:01:52,711 Oh, boy. 22 00:01:52,713 --> 00:01:55,581 ...then what do you got? 23 00:01:55,583 --> 00:01:57,649 [dramatic music] 24 00:01:59,352 --> 00:02:02,254 [male choir, singing in Polish] 25 00:02:07,460 --> 00:02:11,463 Now, there's no such thing as one last big job, 26 00:02:11,465 --> 00:02:13,699 but Poland was pretty close. 27 00:02:14,901 --> 00:02:16,468 We were doing a smooth switch 28 00:02:16,470 --> 00:02:18,871 using a standard base to our scam. 29 00:02:18,873 --> 00:02:21,140 The first thing you need is a mark. 30 00:02:21,142 --> 00:02:24,143 Stash Bartkowiak was just like all the others: 31 00:02:24,145 --> 00:02:28,247 rich, corrupt and most definitely dangerous. 32 00:02:28,249 --> 00:02:31,517 So Stash picks up a stolen Gauguin ripped from an Oslo gallery 33 00:02:31,519 --> 00:02:33,418 by a couple of smash and grabbers. 34 00:02:33,420 --> 00:02:35,387 So, of course, he wants to get the painting authenticated. 35 00:02:35,389 --> 00:02:37,356 But what he didn't know, 36 00:02:37,358 --> 00:02:40,826 was the man he turned to was Nicky Calhoun. 37 00:02:40,828 --> 00:02:43,629 And Nicky Calhoun is my half-brother. 38 00:02:43,631 --> 00:02:47,432 A crew needs an idea man and ours was Nicky. 39 00:02:47,434 --> 00:02:50,469 Paddy McCarthy, he was our Rolodex, 40 00:02:50,471 --> 00:02:52,671 the guy who knows any guy you need to know. 41 00:02:52,673 --> 00:02:55,641 And Guy De Cornet was our forger. 42 00:02:55,643 --> 00:02:57,743 Best scratcher I've ever known. 43 00:02:57,745 --> 00:03:00,812 Now there was a time, if you ask anyone in our game, 44 00:03:00,814 --> 00:03:03,715 who the best damn wheelman around was, 45 00:03:03,717 --> 00:03:07,252 and I'm guaranteeing you, you're going to hear the name Crunch Calhoun. 46 00:03:07,254 --> 00:03:10,355 And that's got nothing to do with how fast I drive 47 00:03:10,357 --> 00:03:12,558 and everything to do with trust. 48 00:03:12,560 --> 00:03:15,427 'Cause without that you've got anarchy. 49 00:03:15,429 --> 00:03:16,962 I like that jacket. 50 00:03:16,964 --> 00:03:18,830 Well, clothes tell you a lot about the man. 51 00:03:18,832 --> 00:03:20,465 That's why it's a saying. 52 00:03:20,467 --> 00:03:22,301 I don't know, Nicky. Take Guy there. 53 00:03:22,303 --> 00:03:25,537 The only thing his fancy white leotard tells me is that 54 00:03:25,539 --> 00:03:27,439 - he ain't circumcised. - [laughing] 55 00:03:27,441 --> 00:03:29,908 - You misunderstand fashion. - Fatsoes. Look at you. 56 00:03:29,910 --> 00:03:31,810 - Fatsoes? [laughing] - [Guy] Women go crazy for this... 57 00:03:31,812 --> 00:03:33,745 Boys! There it is! 58 00:03:36,382 --> 00:03:38,617 [Guy] I'll see you at the lab, Crunch. 59 00:03:38,619 --> 00:03:41,587 [car engine starts] 60 00:03:48,561 --> 00:03:51,363 Don't touch the art, lad. All alarmed. 61 00:04:08,314 --> 00:04:11,450 Wow! Love the track suits. 62 00:04:11,452 --> 00:04:14,620 Fellas, I'd like you to meet Professor O'Connor. 63 00:04:14,622 --> 00:04:16,822 Doc, these are the fellas. 64 00:04:16,824 --> 00:04:20,392 As I said, Dr. "O" here, is real discreet. 65 00:04:20,394 --> 00:04:22,394 Very discreet, gentlemen. 66 00:04:24,564 --> 00:04:29,668 Oh. Paul Gauguin. "Tahitian Beach," 1893. 67 00:04:29,670 --> 00:04:32,271 Painting is stolen. But is real? 68 00:04:32,273 --> 00:04:35,841 We'll see. Needs a density scan. 69 00:04:35,843 --> 00:04:37,643 What is density scan? 70 00:04:37,645 --> 00:04:40,912 I'm not so sure myself, but doctor knows best. 71 00:04:45,852 --> 00:04:48,720 [beeping] 72 00:04:58,031 --> 00:05:03,635 [Nicky] OK, great. So a guy walks into a bar with a monkey. 73 00:05:18,084 --> 00:05:21,820 Oh. What is this? 74 00:05:21,822 --> 00:05:23,822 What? 75 00:05:23,824 --> 00:05:26,358 - No, no, no, no, no. - What? 76 00:05:26,360 --> 00:05:28,393 - More red. More red. - No, no, no, no, no. 77 00:05:28,395 --> 00:05:29,828 Don't do this, Guy, please. You're killing me. 78 00:05:29,830 --> 00:05:31,930 They're identical. Just swap the frames! 79 00:05:31,932 --> 00:05:33,565 My work... [speaks French] 80 00:05:33,567 --> 00:05:35,701 Oh fuck, Guy! Come on, they're identical! 81 00:05:35,703 --> 00:05:38,704 - Just change them! - My work must be perfect-o! 82 00:05:40,707 --> 00:05:42,407 You've got five minutes. 83 00:05:43,576 --> 00:05:45,844 [Nicky] So I say, "I'm looking for Mario." 84 00:05:45,846 --> 00:05:48,980 And this kid says, "There's a thousand Marios in Naples." 85 00:05:48,982 --> 00:05:51,983 I say, "Yeah, but this one's a criminal." 86 00:05:51,985 --> 00:05:54,453 And he goes, "Two thousand!" 87 00:05:54,455 --> 00:05:56,922 [laughs] 88 00:05:56,924 --> 00:05:59,791 [Crunch] Guy. Guy. 89 00:05:59,793 --> 00:06:02,561 Guy! They will fuckin' kill Nicky and Paddy 90 00:06:02,563 --> 00:06:04,930 if I don't make it back there in time! 91 00:06:04,932 --> 00:06:09,601 Guy, you got ten seconds. That's it. Ten! 92 00:06:09,603 --> 00:06:15,440 Nine, eight, seven, six, five. Put it in. 93 00:06:15,442 --> 00:06:20,011 - Three, two, one. Now! - Au revoir. 94 00:06:20,013 --> 00:06:23,582 - [laughing] - Ah, fuck! 95 00:06:27,787 --> 00:06:30,856 [sirens] 96 00:06:32,759 --> 00:06:33,959 Bastard! 97 00:06:37,997 --> 00:06:41,566 So naturally I tell the Turkish prostitute, "I'll take two." 98 00:06:56,182 --> 00:06:57,749 [screams] 99 00:07:03,055 --> 00:07:04,423 [speaking Polish] 100 00:07:11,197 --> 00:07:15,500 So are any of you guys Ukrainian? 101 00:07:15,502 --> 00:07:17,669 No? OK then. 102 00:07:29,182 --> 00:07:31,082 Ah, fuck! 103 00:07:47,567 --> 00:07:49,701 [Stash speaking Polish] 104 00:08:04,951 --> 00:08:09,955 She's a genuine Gauguin, boys. Priceless. 105 00:08:15,695 --> 00:08:17,696 I don't believe this. 106 00:08:17,698 --> 00:08:20,665 There's millions of dollars of paintings and we're doing nothing. 107 00:08:20,667 --> 00:08:22,901 - Leave it, lad. - [Nicky] This is Poland! 108 00:08:22,903 --> 00:08:25,103 We can do whatever the fuck we want. 109 00:08:25,105 --> 00:08:28,907 Nicky, boy, the Gauguin's worth more than five rooms of paintings in this place 110 00:08:28,909 --> 00:08:30,008 and they're all alarmed. 111 00:08:30,010 --> 00:08:31,977 Are you kidding me? 112 00:08:31,979 --> 00:08:33,078 There's no alarms. 113 00:08:33,080 --> 00:08:35,080 [alarm] 114 00:08:36,282 --> 00:08:37,649 There's alarms. 115 00:08:39,051 --> 00:08:41,152 [all laughing] 116 00:08:43,189 --> 00:08:46,791 [man speaking Polish] 117 00:08:58,871 --> 00:09:00,739 [speaking Polish] 118 00:09:03,809 --> 00:09:05,610 Boys, let's all split up! 119 00:09:05,612 --> 00:09:09,981 Train to Berlin. Ten AM. Bright and early like! 120 00:09:09,983 --> 00:09:11,149 [squealing tires] 121 00:09:11,151 --> 00:09:13,118 [Nicky] Shit! 122 00:09:24,664 --> 00:09:29,868 Go! Here. What are you... what are you...?! Wrong way! 123 00:09:29,870 --> 00:09:32,337 [crashing] 124 00:09:32,339 --> 00:09:34,906 [Crunch] That crash was a stroke of luck. 125 00:09:34,908 --> 00:09:39,110 And the cops showed up before Stash could kill him. 126 00:09:40,813 --> 00:09:42,314 Uh... [clears throat] 127 00:09:42,316 --> 00:09:45,784 Did I tell you the one about the, uh, 128 00:09:45,786 --> 00:09:48,253 three prostitutes and the bruised melon? 129 00:09:48,255 --> 00:09:51,156 [grunting] 130 00:09:51,158 --> 00:09:53,058 We only want painting back. 131 00:09:53,060 --> 00:09:55,927 One painting, one arrest. 132 00:09:55,929 --> 00:09:58,630 It could be you or someone else. 133 00:10:00,633 --> 00:10:06,371 You have record in Europe, so that's 20 years sentence. 134 00:10:07,640 --> 00:10:09,140 We make deal, huh? 135 00:10:09,142 --> 00:10:12,944 The painting and a fall guy. 136 00:10:14,614 --> 00:10:18,049 [Crunch] For Nicky, I figure it was just basic math. 137 00:10:18,051 --> 00:10:20,885 He's facing 20 years and I got a clean sheet. 138 00:10:20,887 --> 00:10:23,655 I can't blame him for that. 139 00:10:23,657 --> 00:10:24,923 But I can hate him for it. 140 00:10:24,925 --> 00:10:27,626 [prisoners chattering] 141 00:10:27,628 --> 00:10:29,361 Oh, boy. 142 00:10:29,363 --> 00:10:31,963 [voices fade] 143 00:10:31,965 --> 00:10:35,634 [low-tempo music] 144 00:10:47,880 --> 00:10:50,081 [Crunch] So I went home. 145 00:10:50,083 --> 00:10:53,385 And I couldn't go back to the life. 146 00:10:53,387 --> 00:10:56,021 The trust was gone. 147 00:10:56,023 --> 00:10:57,989 Crew was gone. 148 00:10:57,991 --> 00:11:00,692 And everybody went their separate ways. 149 00:11:00,694 --> 00:11:03,395 And I met a girl. 150 00:11:03,397 --> 00:11:05,664 Someone I could bank on. 151 00:11:05,666 --> 00:11:07,666 And even if I couldn't, buddy, I'll tell you, 152 00:11:07,668 --> 00:11:10,769 she wasn't the worst person I shared a bunk with lately. 153 00:11:10,771 --> 00:11:13,371 But I could bank on Francie. 154 00:11:13,373 --> 00:11:17,442 Francie was a young buck I caught pinching hubcaps off my truck. 155 00:11:17,444 --> 00:11:20,412 Most folks probably would have called the cops, but I gave him a job. 156 00:11:20,414 --> 00:11:25,684 'Cause every now and then, you got to take a leap of faith. 157 00:11:25,686 --> 00:11:29,721 Hey, Crunch. Lace 'em up. 158 00:11:32,058 --> 00:11:35,927 The only way we're gonna get the crowd tomorrow is if you take a dive today. 159 00:11:35,929 --> 00:11:38,697 Nope, not gonna happen, not again. 160 00:11:38,699 --> 00:11:40,098 It pains me to say it, Crunch, 161 00:11:40,100 --> 00:11:41,866 but the only reason why these folks are here 162 00:11:41,868 --> 00:11:43,902 is in the hope that you crack your skull open. 163 00:11:43,904 --> 00:11:47,038 You have to crash your bike. That's what you do. 164 00:11:47,040 --> 00:11:50,208 [man on P.A.) A 188 stitches, 26 broken bones. 165 00:11:50,210 --> 00:11:54,079 Twelve totaled bikes. Three comas. 166 00:11:54,081 --> 00:11:56,181 Twice pronounced legally dead. 167 00:11:56,183 --> 00:12:02,020 - I'll give you $700. - The one, the only, Crunch Calhoun! 168 00:12:03,422 --> 00:12:05,123 Let me say this out loud, 169 00:12:05,125 --> 00:12:07,058 'cause I can't believe my own ears. 170 00:12:07,060 --> 00:12:10,261 You expect me to deliberately take a dive, risk my life, 171 00:12:10,263 --> 00:12:12,764 for 700 bucks? 172 00:12:12,766 --> 00:12:14,132 - [rock music plays] - [crowd cheering] 173 00:12:14,134 --> 00:12:16,468 - Twelve. - Seven. 174 00:12:16,470 --> 00:12:18,203 - Eleven. - Six. 175 00:12:18,205 --> 00:12:20,271 - Eight. - Deal. 176 00:12:20,273 --> 00:12:21,506 Call the ambulance. 177 00:12:21,508 --> 00:12:23,975 ¶ Fire 178 00:12:23,977 --> 00:12:28,413 ¶ The righteous won't sink if they're on fire ¶ 179 00:12:28,415 --> 00:12:30,215 [man on P.A.] Ladies and gentlemen, 180 00:12:30,217 --> 00:12:32,016 let's give old Crunch a moment of silence 181 00:12:32,018 --> 00:12:36,855 as he prepares to go down, down, down into the ring of fire! 182 00:12:36,857 --> 00:12:38,456 How'd she do? Tell me at least a thousand. 183 00:12:38,458 --> 00:12:41,926 No, $800. So just don't do it, Crunch. 184 00:12:41,928 --> 00:12:44,095 I'll pay you $800 not to spill 'er. 185 00:12:44,097 --> 00:12:46,397 If you got $800, I'm payin' you too much. 186 00:12:46,399 --> 00:12:49,901 - Just don't do it, bud. - [groans] 187 00:12:49,903 --> 00:12:52,904 I'll be all right, Francie. Besides, 188 00:12:52,906 --> 00:12:54,773 "Fortune favors the bold." 189 00:12:54,775 --> 00:12:56,341 Who said that one? 190 00:12:56,343 --> 00:12:58,843 - Virgil. - Right. 191 00:12:58,845 --> 00:13:01,312 [¶ Richard Wagner: "Ride of the Valkyries"] 192 00:13:05,417 --> 00:13:07,819 [revs engine, tires squeal] 193 00:13:09,388 --> 00:13:11,189 [¶ Roy Orbison: "In Dreams"] 194 00:13:11,191 --> 00:13:14,793 ¶ A candy-colored clown they call the sandman ¶ 195 00:13:14,795 --> 00:13:18,463 ¶ Tiptoes to my room every night ¶ 196 00:13:18,465 --> 00:13:22,100 ¶ Just to sprinkle stardust and to whisper ¶ 197 00:13:22,102 --> 00:13:27,138 ¶ "Go to sleep, everything is all right" ¶ 198 00:13:27,140 --> 00:13:28,206 [camera shutter clicks] 199 00:13:28,208 --> 00:13:33,044 ¶ I close my eyes 200 00:13:33,046 --> 00:13:37,549 ¶ Then I drift away 201 00:13:37,551 --> 00:13:41,486 ¶ Into the magic night 202 00:13:41,488 --> 00:13:46,324 ¶ I softly say 203 00:13:46,326 --> 00:13:51,095 ¶ "Oh, smile and pray 204 00:13:51,097 --> 00:13:55,466 ¶ Like dreamers do 205 00:13:55,468 --> 00:13:58,837 ¶ Then I fall asleep... 206 00:13:58,839 --> 00:14:03,575 [woman on PA, indistinct] 207 00:14:03,577 --> 00:14:07,111 Excuse me, sir. Would you consent to a voluntary search? 208 00:14:11,984 --> 00:14:12,984 Right this way, please. 209 00:14:12,986 --> 00:14:15,587 Bad luck, chief. 210 00:14:18,324 --> 00:14:19,991 Thank you. 211 00:14:24,129 --> 00:14:25,864 Ground rules, same as last time. 212 00:14:25,866 --> 00:14:27,232 You talk when I tell you to talk 213 00:14:27,234 --> 00:14:29,167 and when I don't, you do not talk. 214 00:14:29,169 --> 00:14:31,302 Don't bark at me. I'm not your dog. 215 00:14:31,304 --> 00:14:33,238 Did I say to talk? 216 00:14:33,240 --> 00:14:35,273 Because I don't recall telling you to talk. 217 00:14:35,275 --> 00:14:37,275 How many more times must I do your job 218 00:14:37,277 --> 00:14:40,011 before I've paid my proverbial debt to society? 219 00:14:40,013 --> 00:14:44,015 Warning: You make me look stupid, I will crush you. 220 00:14:45,417 --> 00:14:48,086 - That looked hot. - Yes, a little bit. 221 00:14:48,088 --> 00:14:49,921 We're going to start with "good cop, bad cop". 222 00:14:49,923 --> 00:14:51,389 - I'm not a cop. - OK. 223 00:14:51,391 --> 00:14:53,458 How about "good cop, just do what I fuckin' say"? 224 00:14:53,460 --> 00:14:55,193 You're not a cop. 225 00:14:55,195 --> 00:14:59,063 Correction. The "pol" in Interpol, it stands for police. 226 00:14:59,065 --> 00:15:00,365 Then where is your pistol? 227 00:15:00,367 --> 00:15:02,033 I don't need a gun. 228 00:15:02,035 --> 00:15:04,135 I've got something far more dangerous than that. 229 00:15:04,137 --> 00:15:07,071 Is it a whistle that you blow to summon the real police 230 00:15:07,073 --> 00:15:08,907 when a crime is being committed? 231 00:15:08,909 --> 00:15:11,175 No. It's actually a pen. 232 00:15:11,177 --> 00:15:14,379 And, with it, I can deny your parole. 233 00:15:14,381 --> 00:15:17,382 So why don't you shut the hell up and follow my lead? 234 00:15:19,051 --> 00:15:21,219 Where's the fucking painting, fucko? 235 00:15:22,454 --> 00:15:25,189 Whoa. 236 00:15:25,191 --> 00:15:28,693 My name is Agent Bick. This is my associate, Samuel Winter. 237 00:15:29,962 --> 00:15:31,462 [Nicky] I know Sam. 238 00:15:31,464 --> 00:15:33,197 Sam, what are you doing with Dirty Harry, here? 239 00:15:33,199 --> 00:15:35,600 You know how they pair professional athletes 240 00:15:35,602 --> 00:15:37,402 - with slow kids? - Yep. 241 00:15:37,404 --> 00:15:39,170 It's kind of like that. 242 00:15:40,372 --> 00:15:43,541 Two weeks ago, this painting "Model, Rear-View" 243 00:15:43,543 --> 00:15:47,011 by Georges Seurat was stolen by an art collector in Mexico City 244 00:15:47,013 --> 00:15:48,579 by a woman we had under surveillance. 245 00:15:48,581 --> 00:15:51,716 Yeah, I've never seen that woman before... 246 00:15:51,718 --> 00:15:53,184 ...before yesterday. 247 00:15:53,186 --> 00:15:55,553 Do I look like a fucking clown to you? 248 00:15:55,555 --> 00:15:59,023 Clowns try to be funny. You're just unintentionally hysterical. 249 00:15:59,025 --> 00:16:03,361 - [laughs] - Shut your giggle hole and open the damn case. 250 00:16:03,363 --> 00:16:07,598 It's called "Tio Puno Loco". 251 00:16:07,600 --> 00:16:10,301 Which translates "Uncle Crazy Fist." 252 00:16:10,303 --> 00:16:13,438 Now, if you gentlemen will excuse me, I've got to water ski... 253 00:16:13,440 --> 00:16:16,975 Sit down! Winter, this is not "pointerism". 254 00:16:16,977 --> 00:16:19,377 Every painting tells a story. 255 00:16:20,412 --> 00:16:22,280 All good art tells a story. 256 00:16:22,282 --> 00:16:24,315 This one tells two. 257 00:16:25,484 --> 00:16:28,319 [Sam] Say Nicky here is stopped at Customs. 258 00:16:28,321 --> 00:16:32,490 All they see is this rubbish, 259 00:16:32,492 --> 00:16:35,360 not the masterpiece underneath. 260 00:16:35,362 --> 00:16:39,163 Acetate solution loosens the top acrylic layer. 261 00:16:39,165 --> 00:16:45,136 Peel it on back and you're left with the original oil painting underneath. 262 00:16:45,138 --> 00:16:48,039 [Bick] What the fuck is that? 263 00:16:48,041 --> 00:16:52,710 It's a marvelous picture. I'm delighted to have it as part of my collection. 264 00:16:52,712 --> 00:16:58,449 Well, boys, have a nice day. 265 00:16:58,451 --> 00:17:00,318 Where's the Seurat?! 266 00:17:00,320 --> 00:17:03,388 Long gone. 267 00:17:03,390 --> 00:17:05,757 [up-tempo music] 268 00:17:08,093 --> 00:17:10,028 - Sunny. - Yeah. How'd it go? 269 00:17:10,030 --> 00:17:11,496 Ah, it went. 270 00:17:11,498 --> 00:17:14,065 Bad luck, chief. 271 00:17:17,136 --> 00:17:18,736 You got the money? 272 00:17:20,205 --> 00:17:21,372 There you go. 273 00:17:23,375 --> 00:17:24,575 It feels a little light. 274 00:17:24,577 --> 00:17:26,077 Well, why don't you open it? 275 00:17:27,613 --> 00:17:29,213 "I'm sorry. 276 00:17:30,349 --> 00:17:31,682 I'm sorry for hitting you with a lead pipe." 277 00:17:31,684 --> 00:17:33,718 What the fuck... [grunts] 278 00:17:33,720 --> 00:17:36,587 [music continues] 279 00:17:36,589 --> 00:17:39,090 [indistinct chattering] 280 00:17:46,065 --> 00:17:48,299 Crunch, honey, we're out of ice. 281 00:17:48,301 --> 00:17:50,701 [Crunch] Oh yeah, all right. 282 00:17:53,205 --> 00:17:54,572 Thank you, Crunchie. 283 00:17:54,574 --> 00:17:55,673 Adios, fellas. 284 00:17:55,675 --> 00:17:58,242 Ice? $50 for ice? 285 00:17:58,244 --> 00:17:59,544 It's wintertime. 286 00:17:59,546 --> 00:18:01,579 Crunch, she's, she's not even trying anymore. 287 00:18:01,581 --> 00:18:03,648 Happy wife, happy life, right? 288 00:18:03,650 --> 00:18:05,349 So you say. 289 00:18:05,351 --> 00:18:07,819 Oh, I don't know, Francie. 290 00:18:07,821 --> 00:18:11,622 When I was a young buck I thought I'd make history, 291 00:18:11,624 --> 00:18:15,193 not just sit there reading about it. 292 00:18:17,396 --> 00:18:20,198 Hell, I thought I'd be a great man. 293 00:18:20,200 --> 00:18:22,500 OK, so you're not... 294 00:18:22,502 --> 00:18:26,304 stereotypically great, like Alexander the Great. 295 00:18:26,306 --> 00:18:31,309 But you're great like, great like, like... 296 00:18:31,311 --> 00:18:32,844 You're a great guy! 297 00:18:32,846 --> 00:18:36,481 Great men don't take dives for a couple of hundred bucks. 298 00:18:37,783 --> 00:18:41,586 And great men don't miss their fate. 299 00:18:41,588 --> 00:18:45,223 Somewhere along the line I... 300 00:18:45,225 --> 00:18:48,192 I missed mine, Francie. 301 00:18:48,194 --> 00:18:51,262 I was probably staring at it the whole time and I just... 302 00:18:52,664 --> 00:18:54,565 I missed it. 303 00:18:56,802 --> 00:19:01,405 My God, you're a downer. A fuckin' boner killer. 304 00:19:01,407 --> 00:19:04,442 And what are you going to do? Are you gonna sell fuckin' insurance or something? 305 00:19:04,444 --> 00:19:07,812 Just shut the fuck up and cheer up, please. 306 00:19:07,814 --> 00:19:09,647 [door bell] 307 00:19:09,649 --> 00:19:11,649 Allow me. 308 00:19:13,318 --> 00:19:15,520 Yo, Dennis Calhoun? 309 00:19:15,522 --> 00:19:17,688 Who's asking? 310 00:19:17,690 --> 00:19:20,458 - It's fuckin' Sunny. - Sounds about right. 311 00:19:20,460 --> 00:19:25,429 Hey, Crunch, there's some guy with an eye-patch here to see you. 312 00:19:36,275 --> 00:19:38,776 [grunts] 313 00:19:41,180 --> 00:19:43,548 [grunting] Oh, easy, man! 314 00:19:43,550 --> 00:19:45,850 Where's your fuckin' brother? 315 00:19:45,852 --> 00:19:48,619 I was gonna cut bait and go home then I realized Nicky said he had a brother. 316 00:19:48,621 --> 00:19:52,323 [people chattering] 317 00:19:52,325 --> 00:19:54,892 - [grunting] - Oww. Fuck! 318 00:19:56,562 --> 00:20:01,465 Sweet Baby Jesus. What are you, a pirate? 319 00:20:02,868 --> 00:20:05,403 Hey, hey, hey. Look! I don't know where Nicky is, all right. 320 00:20:05,405 --> 00:20:07,572 - He said you work with him. - Yeah, a long time ago. 321 00:20:07,574 --> 00:20:10,308 Now, look, I got like $300 stashed in the bedroom there. 322 00:20:10,310 --> 00:20:13,244 It's yours. A guy in your line of work might prefer doubloons... 323 00:20:13,246 --> 00:20:14,412 I'm not a fuckin' pirate! 324 00:20:14,414 --> 00:20:16,814 [muffled shouting] 325 00:20:16,816 --> 00:20:18,649 I don't even talk to Nicky. I hate him. 326 00:20:18,651 --> 00:20:21,352 Here's what's what. I want the 30 grand 327 00:20:21,354 --> 00:20:23,521 - or I want that fuckin' painting. - What painting? 328 00:20:23,523 --> 00:20:24,689 The Seurat. 329 00:20:24,691 --> 00:20:26,357 Whoa! Whoa! What? 330 00:20:26,359 --> 00:20:27,658 - The Seurat! - What? 331 00:20:27,660 --> 00:20:30,428 The Georges Seurat, you ignorant fuck! 332 00:20:30,430 --> 00:20:32,630 The seminal French "Post-Impressionalist". 333 00:20:32,632 --> 00:20:34,298 The father of pointillism. 334 00:20:34,300 --> 00:20:36,767 That Georges Seurat, you fuckin' baboon. 335 00:20:36,769 --> 00:20:39,270 Now I want the 30 grand, 336 00:20:39,272 --> 00:20:40,504 the painting 337 00:20:40,506 --> 00:20:42,840 or a bullet in your fucking head! 338 00:20:44,409 --> 00:20:46,344 [knock at door] 339 00:20:46,346 --> 00:20:48,312 - [Francie, muffled] Hey, uh... - [flushes toilet] 340 00:20:48,314 --> 00:20:51,015 - Crunch, is everything OK? - [Crunch] Yeah. 341 00:20:51,017 --> 00:20:53,818 What... what's happening, exactly? 342 00:20:53,820 --> 00:20:57,388 - Nothing. - What? 343 00:20:57,390 --> 00:20:59,690 I'm being held at gunpoint by a pirate. 344 00:20:59,692 --> 00:21:01,359 I'm in the bathroom. What do you think, Francie? 345 00:21:01,361 --> 00:21:04,028 All right. Sorry for fuckin' askin'! 346 00:21:04,030 --> 00:21:06,831 I ain't leavin' without the 30 grand. 347 00:21:06,833 --> 00:21:11,736 Sorry, Sinbad, but I don't think that musketoon's gonna even fire. 348 00:21:11,738 --> 00:21:15,339 So go ahead and pull the trigger 'cause I got no painting, 349 00:21:15,341 --> 00:21:19,277 no Nicky and no 30 fucking grand! 350 00:21:23,715 --> 00:21:25,616 Who owns that fuckin' bike outside? 351 00:21:25,618 --> 00:21:27,051 Wait a minute, man. 352 00:21:27,053 --> 00:21:29,687 [music on radio] 353 00:21:36,295 --> 00:21:40,398 - [grunting] What the fuck? - What's going on? 354 00:21:40,400 --> 00:21:43,401 - Nicky's back. - What? 355 00:21:43,403 --> 00:21:44,835 And so am I. 356 00:21:44,837 --> 00:21:47,938 What the fuck just happened? 357 00:21:47,940 --> 00:21:52,310 Fate! Fate is what just happened. 358 00:21:52,312 --> 00:21:53,978 [Crunch on phone] Uncle Paddy. 359 00:21:53,980 --> 00:21:56,547 How are you, lad? Still in the land of the living? 360 00:21:56,549 --> 00:21:59,517 You wanted to know when I was ready to go back to work. 361 00:21:59,519 --> 00:22:01,485 Well, I'm ready. 362 00:22:05,791 --> 00:22:07,692 - Citizenship? - Various. 363 00:22:07,694 --> 00:22:09,026 Anything to declare? 364 00:22:09,028 --> 00:22:12,596 Nothing but my undying love for you, beautiful. 365 00:22:14,766 --> 00:22:15,933 Pull over. 366 00:22:21,773 --> 00:22:23,674 [Crunch] Hey, Paddy? 367 00:22:31,683 --> 00:22:33,551 [whistles] 368 00:22:34,553 --> 00:22:35,820 [Francie] What's that? 369 00:22:35,822 --> 00:22:37,688 A Seurat. 370 00:22:37,690 --> 00:22:41,592 If this is even close to real, Paddy's gonna make a bundle. 371 00:22:41,594 --> 00:22:44,428 Oh, it's real. 372 00:22:44,430 --> 00:22:47,898 I was hoping to get Paddy to move it for me. 373 00:22:52,804 --> 00:22:54,004 Oh, hi. I'm Nicky... 374 00:22:54,006 --> 00:22:55,639 I know. 375 00:22:55,641 --> 00:22:57,875 Right. 376 00:22:57,877 --> 00:23:03,514 Well, could you be so kind as to give me and my brother a moment here to catch up? 377 00:23:12,491 --> 00:23:14,091 So. 378 00:23:14,093 --> 00:23:18,462 How'd you get the scar? Motorbike? 379 00:23:20,065 --> 00:23:21,899 No. 380 00:23:21,901 --> 00:23:23,601 All right, man. 381 00:23:23,603 --> 00:23:26,070 [Crunch and Nicky grunting] 382 00:23:30,175 --> 00:23:33,511 [mutters silently] 383 00:23:35,113 --> 00:23:37,748 You must be Francie, are ya? 384 00:23:37,750 --> 00:23:40,684 Paddy McCarthy. But for you, it's Uncle Paddy. 385 00:23:40,686 --> 00:23:43,087 So, is there a donnybrook a-brewin' in there? How she gettin' on? 386 00:23:43,089 --> 00:23:45,189 [muffled grunting continues] 387 00:23:45,191 --> 00:23:47,958 I understood the word "Francie". 388 00:23:47,960 --> 00:23:50,961 Fightin', are they? Ha. So much alike those two. 389 00:23:50,963 --> 00:23:52,797 They're literally nothing alike. 390 00:23:52,799 --> 00:23:54,732 Oh, different mothers. 391 00:23:54,734 --> 00:23:56,567 They grew up on different sides of the country. 392 00:23:56,569 --> 00:23:59,170 Their father was the Johnny Appleseed of sperm. 393 00:23:59,172 --> 00:24:01,005 That's revolting. 394 00:24:01,007 --> 00:24:04,542 You're gettin' old, Crunch. 395 00:24:04,544 --> 00:24:06,811 You never used to be that easy. 396 00:24:06,813 --> 00:24:10,448 Look, if it's an apology you need to put this thing to bed... 397 00:24:10,450 --> 00:24:13,551 An apology? You sent me to prison, man. 398 00:24:13,553 --> 00:24:15,186 Exactly. I owe you one. 399 00:24:15,188 --> 00:24:18,823 No. You owe me five and a half. 400 00:24:18,825 --> 00:24:22,193 But right now, I just wanna go back to work. 401 00:24:22,195 --> 00:24:24,228 Let's do that, then. Let's go back to work. 402 00:24:24,230 --> 00:24:26,964 I mean, I practically apologized here. 403 00:24:26,966 --> 00:24:29,600 You boys done fistin' in to one another? 404 00:24:29,602 --> 00:24:33,070 Ah, man. I wish you wouldn't use that turn of phrase. 405 00:24:33,072 --> 00:24:34,772 So, can we get down to work now? 406 00:24:34,774 --> 00:24:37,107 No, Paddy. I'm not gonna help Nicky fence that painting. 407 00:24:37,109 --> 00:24:38,943 This has nothin' to do with Nicky's paintin'. 408 00:24:38,945 --> 00:24:41,178 And, by the way, Dennis, he is your brother 409 00:24:41,180 --> 00:24:44,148 - and one day you're gonna have to forgive him. - Please don't call me Dennis. 410 00:24:44,150 --> 00:24:47,117 And, Nicky Boy, you're gonna pay the piper for what ya did to Dennis. 411 00:24:47,119 --> 00:24:50,054 - I'll see to it meself. - I want to pay the piper. 412 00:24:50,056 --> 00:24:52,490 Still not workin' with Nicky, Paddy. 413 00:24:52,492 --> 00:24:55,059 Oh, just listen to the story before you say no, lad. 414 00:24:55,061 --> 00:24:56,694 There's a good moral to this story. 415 00:24:56,696 --> 00:24:58,796 How big a moral are we talking about here? 416 00:24:58,798 --> 00:25:01,866 One and a half million dollars. 417 00:25:01,868 --> 00:25:04,568 Jesus. 418 00:25:04,570 --> 00:25:08,005 [Paddy] Two weeks ago, I gets a knock on me door. 419 00:25:08,007 --> 00:25:09,940 [techno music] 420 00:25:12,844 --> 00:25:17,114 Julius Friedman. You've heard the name. 421 00:25:17,116 --> 00:25:19,950 Just stories. I've heard stories. 422 00:25:19,952 --> 00:25:22,520 [Reverend] The things in this man's collection, I mean, 423 00:25:22,522 --> 00:25:27,057 if it were public knowledge, it'd close the books on a hundred major art thefts. 424 00:25:28,593 --> 00:25:31,295 Believe me, I've seen it. 425 00:25:31,297 --> 00:25:35,266 So then Friedman asked me if I've ever heard of the Gutenberg Bible. 426 00:25:35,268 --> 00:25:39,069 - [bell tolls] - [Reverend] Gutenberg invents the printing press in 1440. 427 00:25:39,071 --> 00:25:41,672 It changes everything. 428 00:25:41,674 --> 00:25:44,942 The first book he printed was the Gutenberg Bible, 429 00:25:44,944 --> 00:25:46,877 the Mona Lisa of books. 430 00:25:46,879 --> 00:25:49,713 The most valuable book in the world. 431 00:25:49,715 --> 00:25:51,248 [Crunch] Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Back that shit up. 432 00:25:51,250 --> 00:25:53,284 We can't steal a Gutenberg Bible. 433 00:25:53,286 --> 00:25:55,953 We're not stealing the Gutenberg Bible. 434 00:25:55,955 --> 00:26:00,558 The second book Gutenberg printed was well outside the beliefs of the Church. 435 00:26:00,560 --> 00:26:04,995 [Reverend] The Gospel According to James. Well, that's a legend. 436 00:26:04,997 --> 00:26:06,997 The church has been trying to bury this gospel 437 00:26:06,999 --> 00:26:09,567 since before the time of Constantine. 438 00:26:09,569 --> 00:26:13,203 And, to Friedman, that makes the Gospel According to Jimmy 439 00:26:13,205 --> 00:26:14,738 even more priceless. 440 00:26:14,740 --> 00:26:17,675 So we nick your fancy book, 441 00:26:17,677 --> 00:26:21,145 hand it on over, and make scads of loot. 442 00:26:21,147 --> 00:26:23,314 But the thing is, 443 00:26:23,316 --> 00:26:25,916 it's already been stolen. 444 00:26:28,086 --> 00:26:32,189 So last month at the Vanderloos Gallery in Amsterdam, 445 00:26:32,191 --> 00:26:37,094 our man almost gets nabbed by a cop who sees him crawlin' out the window. 446 00:26:38,763 --> 00:26:41,332 So how is it I've not heard that such a fancy, 447 00:26:41,334 --> 00:26:43,334 famous book as yours was nicked? 448 00:26:43,336 --> 00:26:45,269 No one knows it's stolen. 449 00:26:45,271 --> 00:26:48,172 We swapped it out for a fake. 450 00:26:48,174 --> 00:26:53,611 No one's gonna know it's missing... until Saturday. 451 00:26:53,613 --> 00:26:55,980 Now, here's where we come in. 452 00:26:55,982 --> 00:26:58,782 They flew the book from Europe to Canada. 453 00:26:58,784 --> 00:27:02,252 Since 9/11 you can't fly anythin' into America anymore. 454 00:27:02,254 --> 00:27:06,190 It was supposed to go from Montreal to Detroit, crossin' through here. 455 00:27:06,192 --> 00:27:11,095 But the driver got greedy and tried to smuggle a brick of hash along with the Gospel. 456 00:27:11,097 --> 00:27:14,264 So they arrest our man, put the Gospel in storage 457 00:27:14,266 --> 00:27:17,167 and have an expert coming in on Saturday. 458 00:27:17,169 --> 00:27:21,972 But any expert's gonna look at that Gospel and know it's the Guttenberg original. 459 00:27:21,974 --> 00:27:24,241 Which means the Gospel According to James 460 00:27:24,243 --> 00:27:27,778 is gonna be put under so many locks and so many keys 461 00:27:27,780 --> 00:27:33,150 that Julius Friedman will never catch a whiff of it again. 462 00:27:34,986 --> 00:27:37,688 We get the Bible, we take it to Detroit. 463 00:27:37,690 --> 00:27:39,957 We collect one and a half million dollars. 464 00:27:39,959 --> 00:27:42,726 And that, laddiekins, is that. 465 00:27:48,099 --> 00:27:50,067 Well, you're shittin' me, right? 466 00:27:50,069 --> 00:27:53,971 First off, I ain't ever heard of this Gospel According to Jimmy. 467 00:27:53,973 --> 00:27:59,243 And number two, we're not equipped to rob an international border station. 468 00:27:59,245 --> 00:28:03,847 Look! There's guards. There's cameras everywhere. 469 00:28:03,849 --> 00:28:07,117 This would take, like, months of planning and skill sets we just don't possess! 470 00:28:07,119 --> 00:28:10,020 Forget it! We're not the A-Team here, guys. 471 00:28:10,022 --> 00:28:13,424 I'd peg us at a D-minus for this kind of thing. 472 00:28:15,260 --> 00:28:16,960 I thought you had something, Paddy. 473 00:28:18,096 --> 00:28:20,397 - I'm out. - Hey, Crunch... 474 00:28:20,399 --> 00:28:23,000 - Leave him, lad. - I got him. 475 00:28:23,002 --> 00:28:25,302 Let's go, boy. 476 00:28:25,304 --> 00:28:28,839 [Bick] Sir, I'm telling you, it's happening. 477 00:28:28,841 --> 00:28:31,175 - [man over phone] What's happening? - Paddy's here, Nicky's here 478 00:28:31,177 --> 00:28:34,445 and they all just happened to converge in the city where Crunch lives? 479 00:28:34,447 --> 00:28:36,714 And Crunch, we know he's desperate for money. 480 00:28:36,716 --> 00:28:38,248 Sir, this is all about the Seurat. 481 00:28:38,250 --> 00:28:41,218 So I need you to authorize eyes on every entry point 482 00:28:41,220 --> 00:28:43,220 into the country within a half a day's travel. 483 00:28:43,222 --> 00:28:46,223 I need a full surveillance kit, I need manpower and I need a gun. 484 00:28:46,225 --> 00:28:49,960 - Look, there's no fuckin' way you're getting a firearm. - OK. No gun. 485 00:28:51,196 --> 00:28:53,430 Come on! Hold up! 486 00:28:53,432 --> 00:28:55,432 Let's take it down, you're a little testy. 487 00:28:55,434 --> 00:28:57,768 Yeah, well, jail will do that to a man. 488 00:28:57,770 --> 00:29:01,205 Let me add that "Polish Prison" isn't quite as hilarious as it sounds. 489 00:29:01,207 --> 00:29:03,240 Whoa! Pardon me. 490 00:29:03,242 --> 00:29:05,843 I can't believe you're still doin' that. 491 00:29:05,845 --> 00:29:06,977 - What? - That. 492 00:29:06,979 --> 00:29:08,846 Eh, keeps me sharp. 493 00:29:08,848 --> 00:29:10,914 Listen... [sighs] 494 00:29:10,916 --> 00:29:14,785 Bottom line is, I know that you're hard up for cash. 495 00:29:14,787 --> 00:29:17,254 And let's just say, hypothetically, 496 00:29:17,256 --> 00:29:20,791 I feel bad and I wanna make it up to you. 497 00:29:22,327 --> 00:29:23,994 So we do this thing with Paddy 498 00:29:23,996 --> 00:29:26,497 and I cut you in for ten percent on my end. 499 00:29:26,499 --> 00:29:30,033 A sort of "Sorry for fucking you over" money. Huh? 500 00:29:30,035 --> 00:29:32,503 Oh. Hi, little girl. What's your name? 501 00:29:32,505 --> 00:29:35,773 - Robin. - Oh yeah? Very cute. 502 00:29:36,841 --> 00:29:40,177 Everything out of your mouth is nothin'. 503 00:29:40,179 --> 00:29:43,013 - How could you say that? - Gee, I don't know. 504 00:29:43,015 --> 00:29:46,283 Maybe 'cause you just knocked over a nine-year-old little Chinese girl. 505 00:29:46,285 --> 00:29:48,485 There's supposed to be a code, Nicky! 506 00:29:48,487 --> 00:29:51,288 You never prey upon the virtuous or the poor. 507 00:29:51,290 --> 00:29:53,323 You never put the paycheck over your honor. 508 00:29:53,325 --> 00:29:55,325 And you never, ever betray your family! 509 00:29:55,327 --> 00:29:57,961 Sure, maybe it's all just horseshit 510 00:29:57,963 --> 00:30:00,330 that we feed ourselves so we can go to sleep at night. 511 00:30:00,332 --> 00:30:02,833 Maybe it's horseshit so that we can fancy ourselves 512 00:30:02,835 --> 00:30:05,536 a cut above the thugs and the gangsters of the world. 513 00:30:05,538 --> 00:30:07,538 But I bought into that horseshit, Nicky! 514 00:30:07,540 --> 00:30:11,074 And you, you just trample all over that horseshit. 515 00:30:11,076 --> 00:30:14,845 And you just, now you, you got shit all over your, your boots, you know. 516 00:30:14,847 --> 00:30:17,047 You, you just... you, you got shitty boots. 517 00:30:17,049 --> 00:30:18,582 Hey, the analogy's breaking down. 518 00:30:18,584 --> 00:30:20,184 Yeah, maybe a little. You know what I fuckin' mean. 519 00:30:20,186 --> 00:30:21,451 Hey, what's a fella got to do 520 00:30:21,453 --> 00:30:22,920 to make amends with you? 521 00:30:22,922 --> 00:30:24,188 The only thing I trust about you 522 00:30:24,190 --> 00:30:26,223 is you'll be a greedy, snaky motherfucker 523 00:30:26,225 --> 00:30:28,492 - the second you see an angle. - There is no angle. 524 00:30:28,494 --> 00:30:30,294 There's always an angle with you, man. 525 00:30:30,296 --> 00:30:32,963 You're always hedging, you're always working it. 526 00:30:32,965 --> 00:30:36,834 You think this is about money, Crunch? 527 00:30:36,836 --> 00:30:38,569 Well, I got news for you. 528 00:30:40,939 --> 00:30:43,273 Think again. 529 00:30:43,275 --> 00:30:46,310 Gotta be a cheaper way to do this. 530 00:30:47,545 --> 00:30:49,379 ¶ Now tell me, baby Tell me ¶ 531 00:30:49,381 --> 00:30:51,381 ¶ What kind Of man are you? 532 00:30:51,383 --> 00:30:55,285 Just because he says he's sorry doesn't make him a changed man. 533 00:30:55,287 --> 00:30:59,323 Like just 'cause you like being drunk doesn't make you an alcoholic. 534 00:30:59,325 --> 00:31:00,624 Ah, shit. Lola. Lola. 535 00:31:00,626 --> 00:31:04,394 Babe. Yeah. Hey. 536 00:31:04,396 --> 00:31:07,431 Go. I need to talk to Crunch. 537 00:31:09,968 --> 00:31:11,435 [Crunch] What are you doin' with him? 538 00:31:11,437 --> 00:31:13,537 Nicky told me you were out. 539 00:31:13,539 --> 00:31:15,572 - Yeah. - I told him you're back in. 540 00:31:15,574 --> 00:31:17,007 [Crunch] Forget it. This thing smells. 541 00:31:17,009 --> 00:31:18,942 Crunch! We need the money. 542 00:31:18,944 --> 00:31:21,011 How are we gonna pay our bills? 543 00:31:21,013 --> 00:31:22,913 Wow! She's good. 544 00:31:22,915 --> 00:31:26,583 Oh. So, so you made her do this? 545 00:31:26,585 --> 00:31:28,919 No. Crunch needs this. 546 00:31:28,921 --> 00:31:31,121 He needs me. 547 00:31:31,123 --> 00:31:33,957 It's a brother thing. You wouldn't understand. 548 00:31:33,959 --> 00:31:36,660 Oh. Well, what I understand is that, 549 00:31:36,662 --> 00:31:40,030 that's my guy and he doesn't need you. 550 00:31:40,032 --> 00:31:45,135 Well, he needs someone to stop him from taking dives for $800. 551 00:31:48,406 --> 00:31:50,107 Take care. 552 00:32:01,319 --> 00:32:05,222 All right. I'll do it. But this one we do my way. 553 00:32:05,224 --> 00:32:07,057 What did ya have in mind? 554 00:32:07,059 --> 00:32:10,394 Well, let's just say things are gonna get a little loud. 555 00:32:10,396 --> 00:32:12,462 [up-tempo music] 556 00:32:12,464 --> 00:32:14,464 [tires squealing] 557 00:32:14,466 --> 00:32:16,133 [Crunch] That's where the motorcycle kicks in. 558 00:32:16,135 --> 00:32:18,936 Simultaneously, Francie has broken out 559 00:32:18,938 --> 00:32:21,104 of our giant, ceramic Trojan Horse 560 00:32:21,106 --> 00:32:23,073 with at least three minutes of oxygen left. 561 00:32:23,075 --> 00:32:25,342 Paddy's taking care of the guards, after rappelling 562 00:32:25,344 --> 00:32:27,945 through the ceiling and changing out of his cat suit. 563 00:32:27,947 --> 00:32:30,314 And Nicky's already dealt with the main gate 564 00:32:30,316 --> 00:32:34,651 using 2.5 pounds of all-American TNT. 565 00:32:34,653 --> 00:32:37,487 In and out in 4.25 minutes. 566 00:32:37,489 --> 00:32:41,725 This may be the worst idea in the history of the world. 567 00:32:41,727 --> 00:32:43,560 We just need a computer guy! 568 00:32:43,562 --> 00:32:46,330 Crunch, there is no computer guy! 569 00:32:46,332 --> 00:32:51,034 There's no dude who can feed a video loop to make some security guard think all is hunky dory, 570 00:32:51,036 --> 00:32:54,638 while burglars in cat suits rappel from the ceiling. 571 00:32:54,640 --> 00:32:59,376 By the way, I think Uncle Paddy's black Spandex days are way behind him. 572 00:32:59,378 --> 00:33:02,446 And as for your Trojan Horse thing, 573 00:33:02,448 --> 00:33:04,748 well, I don't even know where to begin with that. 574 00:33:04,750 --> 00:33:07,217 I actually thought that was kind of bad-ass. 575 00:33:07,219 --> 00:33:09,019 Pardon me, you are who? 576 00:33:09,021 --> 00:33:10,053 He's my apprentice. 577 00:33:10,055 --> 00:33:13,056 Oh. So you're a wizard now? 578 00:33:13,058 --> 00:33:15,025 Ah, fuck you, Nicky. 579 00:33:15,027 --> 00:33:18,061 Look, the Reverend's got somebody on the inside. 580 00:33:18,063 --> 00:33:21,098 And we need to find out who that is. Uncle Paddy, 581 00:33:21,100 --> 00:33:23,633 I want you to call the Reverend and get us a name. 582 00:33:23,635 --> 00:33:25,469 [low-tempo music] 583 00:33:41,085 --> 00:33:42,619 Call me Ponch. 584 00:33:42,621 --> 00:33:45,389 I'm Nicky. Paddy. Francie. Crunch. 585 00:33:45,391 --> 00:33:49,192 Those are some shitty aliases. Y'all sound like chocolate bars. 586 00:33:49,194 --> 00:33:52,329 Where's Twix? [laughs] 587 00:33:52,331 --> 00:33:56,767 Oh, wait. Crunch Calhoun? 588 00:33:56,769 --> 00:33:59,569 [gasping] No! Dude. 589 00:33:59,571 --> 00:34:04,374 I once saw you almost jump six cars in Buffalo. Changed my life. 590 00:34:04,376 --> 00:34:07,077 Listen, the Reverend said that you could help us out for 10,000. 591 00:34:07,079 --> 00:34:10,747 Tempting, but not a chance. No. I told the Reverend everything I know for twice that. 592 00:34:10,749 --> 00:34:14,084 And I got so sick from nerves I didn't eat, shit or sleep for a week. 593 00:34:14,086 --> 00:34:15,118 I'm not your guy. 594 00:34:15,120 --> 00:34:17,654 If you were our guy. 595 00:34:18,823 --> 00:34:21,191 If I were your guy, I'd go about forgetting it. 596 00:34:21,193 --> 00:34:25,095 There's 12 cameras, 12 of them. That's one dozen cameras. 597 00:34:25,097 --> 00:34:27,531 - Any in the storage room? - No, but everywhere else. 598 00:34:27,533 --> 00:34:31,301 Three guards, backup generator. It's impossible. 599 00:34:31,303 --> 00:34:33,203 I don't accept that. 600 00:34:33,205 --> 00:34:35,172 Well, accept it, Snickers. 601 00:34:35,174 --> 00:34:37,240 There's always a way. 602 00:34:37,242 --> 00:34:40,343 All right, look. 603 00:34:40,345 --> 00:34:42,345 I'll tell you what I told the Reverend, OK? 604 00:34:42,347 --> 00:34:44,815 That we called an expert. She comes in Saturday at 10. 605 00:34:44,817 --> 00:34:46,817 Don't call me again. 606 00:34:46,819 --> 00:34:49,619 You said, "She". Who's the "she"? 607 00:34:49,621 --> 00:34:52,255 - Who? - The expert. 608 00:34:52,257 --> 00:34:54,524 Olga Something-Long. 609 00:34:54,526 --> 00:34:57,527 Olga Something-Long? 610 00:34:57,529 --> 00:35:01,832 Olga Panofsky-Cienfuegos? 611 00:35:01,834 --> 00:35:03,733 [Poncho] Something like that. 612 00:35:03,735 --> 00:35:06,303 [chuckles] 613 00:35:07,105 --> 00:35:08,472 Later, Crunch. 614 00:35:10,174 --> 00:35:13,477 Wait, why... Who's, who's Olga Something-Long? 615 00:35:13,479 --> 00:35:14,845 A badly burnt bridge. 616 00:35:14,847 --> 00:35:16,880 Oh, she was intoxicating. 617 00:35:16,882 --> 00:35:20,183 Thanks to Uncle Fucks-A-Lot, there's no way we can get near her. 618 00:35:20,185 --> 00:35:21,318 - [chuckles] - Wait. Why not? 619 00:35:21,320 --> 00:35:23,353 Old Sloppy Balls McCarthy here 620 00:35:23,355 --> 00:35:25,222 slept with her and then slept with her sister. 621 00:35:25,224 --> 00:35:27,357 She was intoxicating too. 622 00:35:27,359 --> 00:35:30,861 It's too bad. Olga would've helped out for a little cash. 623 00:35:30,863 --> 00:35:32,262 She wasn't exactly a nun. 624 00:35:32,264 --> 00:35:34,364 No, she certainly was not. 625 00:35:34,366 --> 00:35:36,266 There's gotta be like, what, ten experts 626 00:35:36,268 --> 00:35:38,435 in the whole country they could've called. 627 00:35:38,437 --> 00:35:42,806 Paddy probably balled half of them. Let it go. There's always another way. 628 00:35:42,808 --> 00:35:46,676 [Francie] Can we please stop talking about old people fucking? 629 00:35:48,746 --> 00:35:51,181 - [Paddy sighs] - [car engine starts] 630 00:35:51,183 --> 00:35:54,618 OK. I got the plan. 631 00:35:54,620 --> 00:35:57,754 No. You've got "a plan." 632 00:35:57,756 --> 00:35:59,789 This ain't a dictatorship, Nicky. 633 00:35:59,791 --> 00:36:01,591 [Nicky] We need a forger. Let's call Dirty Ernie. 634 00:36:01,593 --> 00:36:06,296 [Crunch] Dirty Ernie? No, if we need a forger we call Guy. 635 00:36:06,298 --> 00:36:07,831 What time is it in France? 636 00:36:07,833 --> 00:36:09,733 [up-tempo music] 637 00:36:11,302 --> 00:36:14,204 [telephone rings] 638 00:36:14,206 --> 00:36:16,706 - Hello? - [Nicky] Yeah, Guy, it's Nicky. 639 00:36:18,609 --> 00:36:20,343 I do not know you, Nicky. 640 00:36:20,345 --> 00:36:22,279 The son-of-a-bitch hung up on me. 641 00:36:22,281 --> 00:36:23,914 Here. Come on. 642 00:36:23,916 --> 00:36:25,549 [telephone rings] 643 00:36:26,617 --> 00:36:29,553 - Hello? - Hey, Guy. [speaks French] 644 00:36:29,555 --> 00:36:32,822 [laughs, speaks French] Hey, Crunch! 645 00:36:32,824 --> 00:36:35,625 Wow, no. Sorry. I just used up the totality of my French there. 646 00:36:35,627 --> 00:36:39,729 [laughs] It's OK. When you speak French, it's like a donkey cock right in my ear. 647 00:36:39,731 --> 00:36:43,767 I'm on Paddy's phone so I'm gonna keep it short. How ya fixed for work? 648 00:36:43,769 --> 00:36:46,469 You are working? With Paddy? 649 00:36:46,471 --> 00:36:48,939 - Yeah. - With Nicky? 650 00:36:48,941 --> 00:36:50,907 Listen, I'll explain it all to you if you come over here. 651 00:36:50,909 --> 00:36:54,878 - To America? Absolument. - Not exactly America. Canada. 652 00:36:54,880 --> 00:36:56,713 Hm. America Light. 653 00:36:56,715 --> 00:36:58,949 [rock music] 654 00:37:02,320 --> 00:37:03,320 [electronic beeping] 655 00:37:03,322 --> 00:37:06,523 [alarm] 656 00:37:06,525 --> 00:37:08,592 OK, you want to throw things? Throw things, OK! 657 00:37:08,594 --> 00:37:10,627 I don't give a shit! Motherfuck! 658 00:37:10,629 --> 00:37:13,330 OK. OK. No, be careful with that. No, don't do that, OK? 659 00:37:13,332 --> 00:37:15,665 I want to see the piece of paper that says you can go through that! 660 00:37:15,667 --> 00:37:17,400 No, don't touch it. That is $2,000... 661 00:37:17,402 --> 00:37:21,871 He's clean. First Nicky, then Paddy, now Guy. 662 00:37:21,873 --> 00:37:24,374 - I'm telling you, something's up. - This is bullshit! 663 00:37:24,376 --> 00:37:27,310 - And you know it and you know it! - I thought we had a 10-32. 664 00:37:27,312 --> 00:37:32,449 Ten thirty-two? You trying to impress me with numbers? 665 00:37:32,451 --> 00:37:37,354 I'll give you an impressive number: 52. 666 00:37:37,356 --> 00:37:40,457 That's the number of millions they said I stole. 667 00:37:40,459 --> 00:37:42,926 I got a number for you: one, 668 00:37:42,928 --> 00:37:45,328 as in you help me land this one and you're out. 669 00:37:45,330 --> 00:37:46,496 On the lives of my kids. 670 00:37:46,498 --> 00:37:47,697 I've seen your kids. 671 00:37:47,699 --> 00:37:49,266 You'd be better off without them. 672 00:37:49,268 --> 00:37:50,333 You're a cunt. 673 00:37:50,335 --> 00:37:51,801 You wouldn't know a vagina 674 00:37:51,803 --> 00:37:54,471 if it was four foot tall and staring you in the face. 675 00:37:54,473 --> 00:37:57,040 I'm gonna punch you in the fucking... 676 00:37:59,810 --> 00:38:02,679 - Aw, shit. Interpol. - Interpol?! 677 00:38:02,681 --> 00:38:04,547 [Crunch] No, no, no. Don't look. 678 00:38:06,684 --> 00:38:07,951 There's no way that's a coincidence. 679 00:38:07,953 --> 00:38:09,686 That can't be a coincidence. 680 00:38:09,688 --> 00:38:11,588 What do we do? What's the play? 681 00:38:11,590 --> 00:38:13,390 - I'll talk to him. - No. 682 00:38:13,392 --> 00:38:14,724 He'll talk to me. He won't talk to you. 683 00:38:14,726 --> 00:38:15,725 I said no! 684 00:38:15,727 --> 00:38:18,028 Interpol's a real thing? 685 00:38:18,030 --> 00:38:21,398 I'm not going to cut my fuckin' leg off. 686 00:38:21,400 --> 00:38:23,066 - Five minutes. - Get outta here, Francie. 687 00:38:23,068 --> 00:38:24,868 - Crunch... Yeah, OK. - Now. 688 00:38:30,007 --> 00:38:33,043 - Crunch. - Sam? 689 00:38:34,712 --> 00:38:38,481 Men of our vintage should be retired. 690 00:38:40,718 --> 00:38:42,852 You know, when I heard you were working for the other side, 691 00:38:42,854 --> 00:38:46,356 I just couldn't believe it. 692 00:38:46,358 --> 00:38:49,092 At least tell me they don't make you wear a wire. 693 00:38:49,094 --> 00:38:52,095 No. They don't make me wear a wire. 694 00:38:52,097 --> 00:38:56,599 And I get to see some fine art. 695 00:38:56,601 --> 00:39:00,937 So... what do you think they're talking about down there? 696 00:39:02,506 --> 00:39:04,874 Still about the art, huh? 697 00:39:04,876 --> 00:39:06,810 My mother got me into it. 698 00:39:06,812 --> 00:39:11,715 We were always hard up, but she did her best. 699 00:39:11,717 --> 00:39:14,484 Worked as a barmaid between kids. 700 00:39:16,454 --> 00:39:18,121 When I was ten or 11, 701 00:39:18,123 --> 00:39:22,392 she took me to the V and A in London. 702 00:39:23,494 --> 00:39:26,129 And I saw an object that blew my mind. 703 00:39:27,732 --> 00:39:32,902 It was a drinking cup fashioned from a single piece of jade. 704 00:39:32,904 --> 00:39:37,874 It was just a cup, but it was perfect. 705 00:39:37,876 --> 00:39:41,544 And it made me look at everything differently. 706 00:39:41,546 --> 00:39:46,816 Turner, Monet, Vermeer, those guys kept my eyes open. 707 00:39:46,818 --> 00:39:48,685 It was a feeling I had, 708 00:39:48,687 --> 00:39:52,155 a completeness when art touched me. 709 00:39:54,158 --> 00:39:59,529 I only started getting into trouble when I wanted to possess it. 710 00:40:00,798 --> 00:40:05,101 And you... what makes you do it? 711 00:40:05,103 --> 00:40:06,503 Money. 712 00:40:06,505 --> 00:40:09,639 Well, at least you're honest. 713 00:40:09,641 --> 00:40:12,542 It's always nice to know... 714 00:40:13,544 --> 00:40:15,912 ...who you can trust. 715 00:40:15,914 --> 00:40:18,415 I'm gonna find this painting. 716 00:40:18,417 --> 00:40:22,786 Not because I want to get you or your brother in trouble. 717 00:40:22,788 --> 00:40:25,989 I just want to hold it. 718 00:40:29,693 --> 00:40:32,429 Let me ask you a question. 719 00:40:32,431 --> 00:40:34,464 You ever seen the inside of Sing-Sing? 720 00:40:34,466 --> 00:40:37,066 - I haven't. - 'Cause I know a lot of guys 721 00:40:37,068 --> 00:40:40,103 who would like to fuck you inside there. 722 00:40:41,872 --> 00:40:44,073 Are you hitting on me? 723 00:40:46,210 --> 00:40:47,844 I will... 724 00:40:47,846 --> 00:40:49,446 Fuck! 725 00:40:49,448 --> 00:40:52,081 It's been a breath of fresh air. 726 00:40:52,083 --> 00:40:54,150 Looking good, Sam. 727 00:40:59,623 --> 00:41:01,724 Interpol? Fucking Interpol?! 728 00:41:01,726 --> 00:41:04,961 I'm not going to fuckin' prison! I'm not cut out for that shit! 729 00:41:04,963 --> 00:41:06,863 You see these fuckin' arms, man? 730 00:41:06,865 --> 00:41:10,200 These wet noodles will prevent very few prison rapes. 731 00:41:10,202 --> 00:41:12,535 Francie, I promise you on my mother's eyes, 732 00:41:12,537 --> 00:41:14,938 - you're gonna be fine. - You don't know that. 733 00:41:14,940 --> 00:41:19,476 You gotta trust me. Look, ever since I've been back, 734 00:41:19,478 --> 00:41:23,079 you've been there for me like nobody else. 735 00:41:23,081 --> 00:41:28,551 Now... I might have to toss in the "f" word here 736 00:41:28,553 --> 00:41:32,255 to make this a bit easier but... I fuckin' love you, man. 737 00:41:32,257 --> 00:41:34,791 OK, my turn. 738 00:41:36,060 --> 00:41:37,627 That has to be Guy. 739 00:41:37,629 --> 00:41:40,063 [both laughing] 740 00:41:40,065 --> 00:41:42,832 All right, Guy just landed and we got a little problem. 741 00:41:42,834 --> 00:41:46,202 - Interpol. - All right. Well, we'll adapt. 742 00:41:46,204 --> 00:41:48,238 OK? 743 00:41:51,775 --> 00:41:54,544 So? 744 00:41:54,546 --> 00:41:57,780 I'm curious to know what kind of game you're running? 745 00:41:57,782 --> 00:42:00,817 I was curious about your game. 746 00:42:00,819 --> 00:42:04,621 We need to get on the same page. 747 00:42:04,623 --> 00:42:06,789 What do we do first? 748 00:42:06,791 --> 00:42:09,292 - [Nicky] First, we're gonna need a fake. - [Guy] How good must it look? 749 00:42:09,294 --> 00:42:11,027 Good enough to fool the eye. 750 00:42:12,062 --> 00:42:13,162 Identical on the outside, 751 00:42:13,164 --> 00:42:15,632 inside doesn't matter. 752 00:42:15,634 --> 00:42:18,067 You've got four days. 753 00:42:18,069 --> 00:42:22,705 Crunch, I'm sorry for making fun of your Trojan Horse idea because it actually plays. 754 00:42:22,707 --> 00:42:25,708 We're gonna hide that fake in a Trojan Horse of our own. 755 00:42:25,710 --> 00:42:26,943 Something that draws attention. 756 00:42:26,945 --> 00:42:29,012 Paddy, see what you can come up with. 757 00:42:29,014 --> 00:42:31,881 I got the perfect thing in mind. 758 00:42:31,883 --> 00:42:33,750 [Crunch] I don't know, what do you think? 759 00:42:33,752 --> 00:42:36,953 It makes me feel... 760 00:42:36,955 --> 00:42:40,256 ...safe and scared. 761 00:42:41,325 --> 00:42:43,226 Mostly scared. 762 00:42:43,228 --> 00:42:46,963 It's weird. It's like it follows you. 763 00:42:47,965 --> 00:42:50,833 First, you caress. 764 00:42:50,835 --> 00:42:54,137 Too rough, she cracks. 765 00:42:54,139 --> 00:42:57,173 Too soft, she will not succumb to the touch. 766 00:42:57,175 --> 00:43:03,112 Just right. It's you. Ahh. 767 00:43:04,715 --> 00:43:06,849 Then we need to get our horse into their corral. 768 00:43:06,851 --> 00:43:08,685 But, how? 769 00:43:08,687 --> 00:43:11,154 You say this border station, they inspect everything. 770 00:43:11,156 --> 00:43:14,190 Exactly. Everything going in, everything going out. 771 00:43:14,192 --> 00:43:17,293 We can't walk in our fake or walk out our original. 772 00:43:17,295 --> 00:43:20,863 So we're gonna get them to take it in for us. 773 00:43:20,865 --> 00:43:25,902 We're going to use our sullied reputation to our advantage for once. 774 00:43:28,105 --> 00:43:31,841 - Crunch sets off the bells and whistles. - [electronic beeping] 775 00:43:31,843 --> 00:43:35,612 There's a standard 30-day impound on undocumented art. 776 00:43:35,614 --> 00:43:38,348 And, because it's Crunch, convicted art thief, 777 00:43:38,350 --> 00:43:41,351 transporting art without the proper paperwork, 778 00:43:41,353 --> 00:43:44,387 they're gonna call the gallery where it was purchased right away, 779 00:43:44,389 --> 00:43:46,689 to make sure that it's not stolen. 780 00:43:46,691 --> 00:43:49,092 But it ain't goin' anywhere until Crunch shows up 781 00:43:49,094 --> 00:43:51,794 with the proof of ownership, which we've got. 782 00:43:51,796 --> 00:43:54,163 And we know where it's being kept. 783 00:43:54,165 --> 00:43:56,132 The toad is in the hole. 784 00:43:56,134 --> 00:43:57,900 [Nicky] What the fuck are you talking about? 785 00:43:57,902 --> 00:44:01,204 The fuckin' huge vagina is in the border station now. 786 00:44:01,206 --> 00:44:02,939 [Nicky] Because of Crunch's record, 787 00:44:02,941 --> 00:44:04,974 Interpol will be brought in. 788 00:44:04,976 --> 00:44:08,778 But, since no crime has been committed, they can't touch us. 789 00:44:08,780 --> 00:44:11,014 What the hell am I looking at? 790 00:44:11,016 --> 00:44:14,250 It's four foot high and staring you in the face. 791 00:44:14,252 --> 00:44:16,853 And on the day, what about Interpol? 792 00:44:16,855 --> 00:44:19,255 They're going to be watching us, which we need to fix. 793 00:44:19,257 --> 00:44:23,760 Francie and I will distract them while the switch goes down at the border station. 794 00:44:23,762 --> 00:44:27,730 But most important thing is we've gotta deal with Olga Something-Long. 795 00:44:27,732 --> 00:44:29,298 Paddy? 796 00:44:29,300 --> 00:44:31,300 Well, that'll be something hard. 797 00:44:31,302 --> 00:44:34,370 Things between Olga and me are rough as a bear's arse. 798 00:44:34,372 --> 00:44:35,938 She's got to miss that appointment. 799 00:44:35,940 --> 00:44:38,374 But, more importantly, is we need those forms. 800 00:44:38,376 --> 00:44:41,978 - No paperwork, no access. - I'll start tomorrow. 801 00:44:49,386 --> 00:44:51,120 Olga, darlin'. 802 00:44:51,122 --> 00:44:53,456 Oh, no. 803 00:44:53,458 --> 00:44:56,025 No, no, no, no, you don't get to do this. 804 00:44:57,027 --> 00:44:59,195 It took me years to forget. 805 00:44:59,197 --> 00:45:02,832 You are dead to me. You are dead! 806 00:45:02,834 --> 00:45:04,434 I'm not asking for forgiveness. 807 00:45:04,436 --> 00:45:06,969 God can forgive me, that's his job. 808 00:45:06,971 --> 00:45:09,405 You have no control over me. 809 00:45:09,407 --> 00:45:11,007 We should never be together. 810 00:45:11,009 --> 00:45:12,909 I hate you. 811 00:45:12,911 --> 00:45:16,312 You crushed me heart and you stained me soul. 812 00:45:16,314 --> 00:45:18,314 Fuck you. 813 00:45:18,316 --> 00:45:21,217 No, darlin'. 814 00:45:23,053 --> 00:45:25,455 Fuck you. 815 00:45:26,790 --> 00:45:28,324 [grunting] 816 00:45:34,098 --> 00:45:35,932 Are we ready to do this? 817 00:45:36,366 --> 00:45:38,768 [speaks French] 818 00:45:41,138 --> 00:45:42,505 Let's roll! 819 00:45:43,507 --> 00:45:46,375 Just, uh, try to act natural. 820 00:45:46,377 --> 00:45:49,045 Yeah. I, I don't know what that means. 821 00:45:49,047 --> 00:45:51,748 What do we have here? 822 00:45:53,117 --> 00:45:57,220 Two perps, one box, red. 823 00:45:57,222 --> 00:45:59,322 I betcha there's something in that. 824 00:46:01,925 --> 00:46:03,893 Here we go. They're on the move. 825 00:46:03,895 --> 00:46:06,763 Thank you. I needed to know that. 826 00:46:06,765 --> 00:46:10,466 Please continue to point out the obvious to me as it comes up. 827 00:46:10,468 --> 00:46:13,402 - You're starting the car. - OK. That's enough. 828 00:46:13,404 --> 00:46:14,837 You're putting the car into gear. 829 00:46:14,839 --> 00:46:17,373 I so very much want to stab you 830 00:46:17,375 --> 00:46:19,142 in the face and throat. 831 00:46:19,144 --> 00:46:21,544 With your magic pen, no doubt. 832 00:46:28,519 --> 00:46:30,186 Saturday, ten AM. 833 00:46:30,188 --> 00:46:32,889 Guy walks into the border station. 834 00:46:32,891 --> 00:46:34,323 And, man, will you please wear a suit? 835 00:46:34,325 --> 00:46:36,959 No offense, but you look like a slutty elf. 836 00:46:36,961 --> 00:46:40,863 - What... is "elf"? - [all laugh] 837 00:46:40,865 --> 00:46:44,167 [Nicky] The station gets a call the day before 838 00:46:44,169 --> 00:46:46,235 from a woman they think is Olga. 839 00:46:46,237 --> 00:46:48,437 I cannot make it, but my colleague, Philippe, 840 00:46:48,439 --> 00:46:50,840 - he should be there. - Hello. 841 00:46:50,842 --> 00:46:54,410 Oh. I think I chipped a tooth. 842 00:46:54,412 --> 00:46:56,512 [both grunting] 843 00:47:05,222 --> 00:47:08,257 [Nicky] Olga gets a call the day before from a man 844 00:47:08,259 --> 00:47:09,892 she thinks is from the border. 845 00:47:09,894 --> 00:47:13,296 So, while we'll not be requiring your services, 846 00:47:13,298 --> 00:47:16,032 we will, of course, still pay. 847 00:47:31,515 --> 00:47:32,548 Yeah, where're we at? 848 00:47:32,550 --> 00:47:34,016 I got Guy on the other line. 849 00:47:34,018 --> 00:47:36,219 OK, I'm in. How will I know where it is? 850 00:47:36,221 --> 00:47:38,387 It's pink and three feet tall. 851 00:47:38,389 --> 00:47:40,356 You're a Frenchman, you'll find it. 852 00:47:40,358 --> 00:47:42,124 [mutters in French] 853 00:47:47,898 --> 00:47:51,167 [Nicky] Like Ponch said, with no security cameras in the room, 854 00:47:51,169 --> 00:47:54,003 Guy can make the switch. 855 00:47:54,005 --> 00:47:56,205 All right. We got an hour to go. 856 00:47:56,207 --> 00:47:59,976 - Did you get the nylons? - I did indeed. 857 00:47:59,978 --> 00:48:02,445 - One? - Well, it says one pair. 858 00:48:02,447 --> 00:48:05,214 - One pair? Like a pair of pants. - Yeah. 859 00:48:05,216 --> 00:48:07,450 Well, I'm sorry, Mr. Condescending, 860 00:48:07,452 --> 00:48:09,185 I don't buy a whole lot of fuckin' pantyhose. 861 00:48:09,187 --> 00:48:11,020 - Fishnets? - Yes. 862 00:48:11,022 --> 00:48:12,188 Put these over our heads 863 00:48:12,190 --> 00:48:13,322 we'll look like a couple of waffles. 864 00:48:13,324 --> 00:48:15,358 [up-tempo music] 865 00:48:40,450 --> 00:48:42,652 This is just great. 866 00:48:42,654 --> 00:48:44,186 OK, let's go. 867 00:48:55,032 --> 00:48:56,432 [cell phone rings] 868 00:48:56,434 --> 00:48:59,135 - Yeah? - Finished. 869 00:48:59,137 --> 00:49:01,637 All right, Crunch, you're up. 870 00:49:14,351 --> 00:49:18,621 No. Something's not right. 871 00:49:21,491 --> 00:49:23,092 OK, here we go. 872 00:49:23,094 --> 00:49:24,593 What are you doing? 873 00:49:24,595 --> 00:49:26,429 This is usually how it works. 874 00:49:26,431 --> 00:49:28,965 Perps go on the move, cops get moving. 875 00:49:28,967 --> 00:49:32,034 A little pro tip for you: "perps", short for perpetrators. 876 00:49:32,036 --> 00:49:36,472 Just trust me for a second. Don't switch the engine on. 877 00:49:42,279 --> 00:49:43,713 Seriously, what are we doing? 878 00:49:43,715 --> 00:49:45,381 Why do I listen to you? 879 00:49:46,516 --> 00:49:48,484 [Sam] You're being distracted. 880 00:49:48,486 --> 00:49:52,021 Like at the Quebec airport. 881 00:49:56,493 --> 00:49:59,095 The border. They're at the border. 882 00:50:09,539 --> 00:50:11,440 They stopped following us. 883 00:50:22,352 --> 00:50:25,621 Pick up. Come on, pick up. 884 00:50:29,459 --> 00:50:31,527 Two minutes away. Come on! 885 00:50:32,496 --> 00:50:33,696 Whoo! 886 00:50:40,504 --> 00:50:42,338 [brakes screech] 887 00:50:51,481 --> 00:50:53,082 I'm clear. 888 00:50:55,585 --> 00:50:58,154 [¶ R&B music plays] 889 00:51:01,324 --> 00:51:03,559 ¶ Stand up 890 00:51:03,561 --> 00:51:07,296 [Francie] I'm trying to, I'm trying to. This is what I... 891 00:51:07,298 --> 00:51:11,100 Hey! Hey! Here we go. Here we go. 892 00:51:11,102 --> 00:51:13,202 [all cheering, laughing] 893 00:51:14,304 --> 00:51:15,704 Whoo! 894 00:51:17,407 --> 00:51:19,642 [Francie] Atta boy, Crunch! 895 00:51:20,811 --> 00:51:22,178 [speaks French] 896 00:51:22,180 --> 00:51:24,747 All right, just like the old days. 897 00:51:24,749 --> 00:51:27,450 Yeah, the old days were you threw me to the cops? 898 00:51:27,452 --> 00:51:29,752 Or the old days where a one-eyed pirate steals my bike? 899 00:51:29,754 --> 00:51:33,522 [Paddy]Uh, uh, uh. Now, now, gentlemen. 900 00:51:33,524 --> 00:51:35,558 Let us drink to James. 901 00:51:35,560 --> 00:51:38,661 - To James! - [all] To James! 902 00:51:40,530 --> 00:51:43,365 And to Nicky Boy. One for the ages. 903 00:51:43,367 --> 00:51:45,167 [all cheering] 904 00:51:48,672 --> 00:51:51,841 - Now you take a bow, Guy. - Moi? 905 00:51:51,843 --> 00:51:55,644 Four days to fake a 500-year-old masterpiece. 906 00:51:55,646 --> 00:51:57,513 Oh, to have your talent, lad. 907 00:51:57,515 --> 00:52:00,649 It was an inspired effort. I admit. 908 00:52:00,651 --> 00:52:02,785 But I am no Yves Chaudron. 909 00:52:02,787 --> 00:52:06,355 Who's that, Yeeves Show-row? 910 00:52:06,357 --> 00:52:07,623 Stay, Crunch. You'll like this. 911 00:52:07,625 --> 00:52:09,225 Nah, I've heard this tale a time or two. 912 00:52:09,227 --> 00:52:11,293 - I gotta take a piss. - Come on, Crunch. 913 00:52:11,295 --> 00:52:13,429 Wait. Who's Yves Shmo-boh? 914 00:52:13,431 --> 00:52:15,831 I shall tell you of Yves Chaudron. 915 00:52:15,833 --> 00:52:18,901 For this is a story of inspiration. 916 00:52:18,903 --> 00:52:21,604 He was everything I aspire to be. 917 00:52:21,606 --> 00:52:24,673 A master, a legend. 918 00:52:24,675 --> 00:52:28,744 A man so gifted his work would make angels cry. 919 00:52:28,746 --> 00:52:34,583 He was the one true talent behind the greatest art theft in history. 920 00:52:34,585 --> 00:52:38,320 The theft of the Mona Lisa. 921 00:52:39,756 --> 00:52:42,625 The story begins in Paris, 1911. 922 00:52:42,627 --> 00:52:45,161 Not with Chaudron, but with an Italian, 923 00:52:45,163 --> 00:52:47,296 a poor carpenter named Perugia 924 00:52:47,298 --> 00:52:49,465 who, a few months before the theft, 925 00:52:49,467 --> 00:52:51,367 works a contract at the Louvre. 926 00:52:51,369 --> 00:52:55,171 As with any menial job, he learns many menial things. 927 00:52:55,173 --> 00:52:56,906 Such as where the entrances and exits are, 928 00:52:56,908 --> 00:52:59,675 the guards' names, rotations and the like. 929 00:52:59,677 --> 00:53:03,746 Little did he know that this otherwise useless information 930 00:53:03,748 --> 00:53:06,282 would prove to be quite important. 931 00:53:06,284 --> 00:53:09,552 For it is when Perugia's contract ends 932 00:53:09,554 --> 00:53:12,488 that his destiny begins. 933 00:53:12,490 --> 00:53:16,258 Fate taps Perugia on the shoulder. 934 00:53:16,260 --> 00:53:20,529 Eduardo de Valfierno, a criminal mastermind. 935 00:53:20,531 --> 00:53:24,833 Valfierno asks Perugia to steal the Mona Lisa 936 00:53:24,835 --> 00:53:29,371 for $30,000. It's like a million back then, 937 00:53:29,373 --> 00:53:33,442 an offer a poor carpenter could never refuse. 938 00:53:33,444 --> 00:53:36,345 The adventure of the theft is a story in and of itself. 939 00:53:36,347 --> 00:53:39,682 In short, through luck, cunning, lazy security 940 00:53:39,684 --> 00:53:41,884 and the horrible disadvantage of being Italian, 941 00:53:41,886 --> 00:53:43,452 he actually succeeds. 942 00:53:43,454 --> 00:53:45,888 The carpenter steals the Mona Lisa 943 00:53:45,890 --> 00:53:48,958 and the theft makes world news. 944 00:53:52,729 --> 00:53:55,264 As promised, he produces the Mona Lisa. 945 00:53:55,266 --> 00:53:56,799 Valfierno produces the money. 946 00:53:56,801 --> 00:53:58,834 But he makes a strange request. 947 00:53:58,836 --> 00:54:01,403 He asks him to hold on to her just a little longer 948 00:54:01,405 --> 00:54:04,306 so he can arrange for her transit overseas. 949 00:54:04,308 --> 00:54:07,309 Perugia agrees and waits, 950 00:54:07,311 --> 00:54:09,912 and waits and waits. 951 00:54:09,914 --> 00:54:12,481 His story ends here. 952 00:54:12,483 --> 00:54:15,618 And it is now that I tell you of Yves Chaudron. 953 00:54:15,620 --> 00:54:17,753 Six months before the theft, 954 00:54:17,755 --> 00:54:20,289 Valfierno commissions Yves Chaudron, 955 00:54:20,291 --> 00:54:21,757 the world's greatest forger, 956 00:54:21,759 --> 00:54:25,027 to reproduce the Mona Lisa six times and perfect, 957 00:54:25,029 --> 00:54:28,330 an Herculean task only Chaudron could accomplish. 958 00:54:28,332 --> 00:54:30,299 Valfierno then sails to America 959 00:54:30,301 --> 00:54:32,701 and finds six of the greediest art collectors 960 00:54:32,703 --> 00:54:34,937 and poses this question to them: 961 00:54:34,939 --> 00:54:37,873 "Should the Mona Lisa suddenly become available, 962 00:54:37,875 --> 00:54:40,676 would you pay three hundred thousand dollars for it?" 963 00:54:40,678 --> 00:54:44,947 He asks all six, and all six say, "Yes." 964 00:54:44,949 --> 00:54:49,285 And that is when Valfierno pays Perugia to steal the Mona Lisa. 965 00:54:49,287 --> 00:54:51,754 He then ships Chaudron's perfect fakes 966 00:54:51,756 --> 00:54:55,324 and collects $1.8 million. 967 00:54:55,326 --> 00:54:58,394 A fortune beyond comprehension. 968 00:55:00,830 --> 00:55:05,367 You see, all he needed was the news of the theft, 969 00:55:05,369 --> 00:55:08,671 not the Mona Lisa. 970 00:55:08,673 --> 00:55:14,810 To him, she herself, is worthless. 971 00:55:16,646 --> 00:55:20,849 And that is the story of the theft of the Mona Lisa. 972 00:55:20,851 --> 00:55:23,385 [laughing] 973 00:55:23,387 --> 00:55:26,388 I first heard that story when I was a small boy. 974 00:55:26,390 --> 00:55:31,560 I knew even then I wanted to have the skills to pull something that great off. 975 00:55:31,562 --> 00:55:32,861 And that's why I do what I do. 976 00:55:32,863 --> 00:55:34,897 I do it for the ladies. 977 00:55:34,899 --> 00:55:37,032 [all laughing] 978 00:55:38,902 --> 00:55:41,603 [Nicky] Well, here's to tomorrow, 979 00:55:41,605 --> 00:55:44,673 and the Reverend gets his goods and we get our just rewards. 980 00:55:44,675 --> 00:55:47,943 - [Nicky and Lola] Tomorrow! - [all] Tomorrow! 981 00:56:02,092 --> 00:56:04,960 Ohhh, fuck. 982 00:56:04,962 --> 00:56:07,963 Oh, Jesus, Mary and Joseph. 983 00:56:07,965 --> 00:56:12,634 I, I taste an ashtray and battery acid 984 00:56:12,636 --> 00:56:15,504 and, like, stripper perfume. 985 00:56:15,506 --> 00:56:17,473 So, we headed for Detroit? 986 00:56:17,475 --> 00:56:19,708 Finish things up with the Reverend, or what? 987 00:56:19,710 --> 00:56:22,144 Yeah, that's right. We all just pile into the car 988 00:56:22,146 --> 00:56:25,748 like the Brady Bunch and just breeze on into the States, right? 989 00:56:25,750 --> 00:56:27,549 They already flagged me for coming over here. 990 00:56:27,551 --> 00:56:29,385 - Yeah, me too. - Me too. 991 00:56:29,387 --> 00:56:30,886 They don't like me a lot either, so... 992 00:56:30,888 --> 00:56:33,021 ...what exactly is your plan? 993 00:56:33,023 --> 00:56:37,459 Well, we need someone with a clean sheet. Francie, you're up. 994 00:56:37,461 --> 00:56:38,794 Me?! 995 00:56:45,735 --> 00:56:48,570 Really? Why am I wearing this shit? 996 00:56:48,572 --> 00:56:50,072 Because Interpol knows what you look like. 997 00:56:50,074 --> 00:56:53,509 OK, but don't the Amish ride horse and carriages? 998 00:56:53,511 --> 00:56:57,045 - Well, you're progressive. - I can't fucking do this! 999 00:56:57,047 --> 00:57:00,516 Well, you better get your best Brando on, hoss, 'cause we need you. 1000 00:57:00,518 --> 00:57:03,452 Yeah, look, Francie, it's not The King's Speech. 1001 00:57:03,454 --> 00:57:06,422 Come here. You got two lines: 1002 00:57:06,424 --> 00:57:09,158 "Going to Detroit." And "Nothing to declare." 1003 00:57:09,160 --> 00:57:11,593 You're gonna be great. 1004 00:57:11,595 --> 00:57:14,763 - I'll meet him there. - Oh. Will you? 1005 00:57:14,765 --> 00:57:16,498 Yeah. 1006 00:57:16,500 --> 00:57:18,100 Hey, look, somebody's got to be in Detroit 1007 00:57:18,102 --> 00:57:19,701 to close the deal with the Reverend. 1008 00:57:19,703 --> 00:57:21,837 Nicky, I'm goin' with ya. 1009 00:57:21,839 --> 00:57:23,939 - We're both hiding in the trunk. - [Paddy] The trunk? 1010 00:57:23,941 --> 00:57:26,442 [scoffs] I'm not hidin' in a trunk. 1011 00:57:26,444 --> 00:57:29,178 Well, then no one's going to Detroit. 1012 00:57:29,180 --> 00:57:31,780 'Cause if you're alone when you get your digits on that money, 1013 00:57:31,782 --> 00:57:33,449 we'll never see you again. 1014 00:57:33,451 --> 00:57:38,020 All right, man. Fine. 1015 00:57:38,022 --> 00:57:40,556 Pop it, Francie. 1016 00:57:40,558 --> 00:57:43,459 - What are you doing? - Yeah, what are you doing? 1017 00:57:43,461 --> 00:57:44,927 Hopefully, you won't have to know. 1018 00:57:44,929 --> 00:57:48,230 Yes, sir. But if you just give me... 1019 00:57:48,232 --> 00:57:51,467 Sir, we are so very close on this. We just... 1020 00:57:51,469 --> 00:57:53,168 [man on phone yelling] 1021 00:57:53,170 --> 00:57:55,671 No, I realize I'm not supposed to be in the field, 1022 00:57:55,673 --> 00:57:56,939 but that's not the... 1023 00:57:56,941 --> 00:58:00,108 OK. Yeah. 1024 00:58:00,110 --> 00:58:03,479 Are we clear? Are we clear? Goodbye. 1025 00:58:06,015 --> 00:58:10,486 OK. We need to just start at the beginning here, OK? 1026 00:58:12,155 --> 00:58:13,555 Square one... 1027 00:58:17,026 --> 00:58:18,727 ...art. 1028 00:58:19,996 --> 00:58:22,498 - They pay you for this? - Shut up! 1029 00:58:22,500 --> 00:58:27,202 Do you often feel that your life is just passing you by? 1030 00:58:27,204 --> 00:58:32,074 I cannot even be in the same room as you! 1031 00:58:40,817 --> 00:58:43,852 OK. OK, Francie. 1032 00:58:47,023 --> 00:58:49,224 I got an idea. 1033 00:58:49,226 --> 00:58:53,028 I think we can make a lot more money off that Gospel. 1034 00:58:53,030 --> 00:58:54,963 Hold out for more from the Reverend? 1035 00:58:54,965 --> 00:58:57,032 No, we don't even deliver it to him. 1036 00:58:57,034 --> 00:59:00,035 OK. I fail to see how that makes us rich. 1037 00:59:00,037 --> 00:59:02,804 Guy telling that story about the Mona Lisa 1038 00:59:02,806 --> 00:59:04,640 got me thinking. 1039 00:59:04,642 --> 00:59:06,875 There's a real parallel here. 1040 00:59:08,244 --> 00:59:10,879 Great. Parallel. Not interested. 1041 00:59:10,881 --> 00:59:12,881 Listen, don't dismiss the idea out of spite. 1042 00:59:12,883 --> 00:59:14,016 Not interested. 1043 00:59:14,018 --> 00:59:15,984 Hear me out! 1044 00:59:15,986 --> 00:59:21,089 Uncle Paddy can come up with at least ten more buyers. 1045 00:59:21,091 --> 00:59:24,293 And we can get Guy to duplicate a book for each one of them. 1046 00:59:24,295 --> 00:59:28,564 We contact the gallery, we let them know their book is stolen. 1047 00:59:28,566 --> 00:59:30,832 The news hits the paper and boom. 1048 00:59:30,834 --> 00:59:33,902 Meanwhile we ship off ten copies to ten buyers. 1049 00:59:33,904 --> 00:59:35,671 Each one thinks they have the original. 1050 00:59:35,673 --> 00:59:37,940 Goddamn it if it's not perfect. 1051 00:59:37,942 --> 00:59:40,309 [sighs] 1052 00:59:42,245 --> 00:59:44,279 You know... 1053 00:59:44,281 --> 00:59:48,183 I think we could make half a mil. per book. 1054 00:59:48,185 --> 00:59:51,219 No, you know, twice that. 1055 00:59:53,957 --> 00:59:56,024 - You know how much that is? - Ten million. 1056 00:59:56,026 --> 00:59:57,960 That's right. 1057 01:00:03,800 --> 01:00:05,801 [Francie] Uh, all right, boys. 1058 01:00:05,803 --> 01:00:09,171 We're here so just be quiet, OK? 1059 01:00:09,173 --> 01:00:11,907 - Just be cool! - Two lines! 1060 01:00:11,909 --> 01:00:14,710 "Going to Detroit! Nothing to declare!" 1061 01:00:14,712 --> 01:00:15,844 OK, I know! 1062 01:00:15,846 --> 01:00:17,713 Act normal. Be normal. Act normal. 1063 01:00:17,715 --> 01:00:20,115 Just be a cool guy. You're a cool guy, Francie. 1064 01:00:20,117 --> 01:00:23,719 You're a fuckin' cool guy. I am not cut out for this. 1065 01:00:26,789 --> 01:00:28,991 - Citizenship... - My name is Francie Tobin! 1066 01:00:28,993 --> 01:00:31,927 - [both groan] - Well, that's great, son. 1067 01:00:31,929 --> 01:00:33,762 - Where you headed? - Canada! 1068 01:00:33,764 --> 01:00:35,330 Uh, you're heading in the wrong direction... 1069 01:00:35,332 --> 01:00:37,265 Arrgghh! 1070 01:00:37,267 --> 01:00:39,067 Canada's, that's where I came from. 1071 01:00:39,069 --> 01:00:41,303 Where I'm... Detroit is where I'm heading, 1072 01:00:41,305 --> 01:00:45,073 not, not Canada, which is where I'm from. 1073 01:00:45,075 --> 01:00:46,908 Anything to declare? 1074 01:00:46,910 --> 01:00:50,145 No. Not... not even a little bit. 1075 01:00:50,147 --> 01:00:52,848 Uh, your beard's falling off. 1076 01:00:52,850 --> 01:00:58,020 Oh. That's, that's 'cause I'm, I'm in a play. 1077 01:00:58,022 --> 01:00:59,655 [man] What's the play called? 1078 01:00:59,657 --> 01:01:01,690 [Francie] Witness, The Musical. 1079 01:01:01,692 --> 01:01:03,358 Witness, exclamation mark. 1080 01:01:04,961 --> 01:01:06,795 Are you sure there's nothing you want to declare? 1081 01:01:06,797 --> 01:01:08,764 The play is terrible. 1082 01:01:10,867 --> 01:01:13,368 - Anything in the trunk? - No! 1083 01:01:14,804 --> 01:01:17,005 Are you absolutely positive 1084 01:01:17,007 --> 01:01:18,306 you have nothing to declare? 1085 01:01:21,778 --> 01:01:23,178 I'm sorry? 1086 01:01:23,180 --> 01:01:25,380 Do you think I have smugglers in my trunk? 1087 01:01:25,382 --> 01:01:28,150 - [both] No! - I have two American thieves 1088 01:01:28,152 --> 01:01:31,853 in the trunk of this car that I'm crossing your border with right now. 1089 01:01:31,855 --> 01:01:33,822 Please! Please, have a look. 1090 01:01:33,824 --> 01:01:38,193 See, see all the criminal activity happening in my trunk right now! 1091 01:01:38,195 --> 01:01:40,162 Open the trunk, sir. 1092 01:01:40,164 --> 01:01:42,330 - Open the... - Open the trunk, just open the trunk. 1093 01:01:42,332 --> 01:01:44,866 - So I'll just... Oh! - Nicky, Nicky, Nicky! 1094 01:01:44,868 --> 01:01:46,768 Yep. Got 'em. Got 'em. 1095 01:01:46,770 --> 01:01:48,937 - On the count of three. - Drugs, son? 1096 01:01:48,939 --> 01:01:50,072 Oh, no. I'm good, buddy. 1097 01:01:50,074 --> 01:01:51,807 No, I mean, are you on... 1098 01:01:51,809 --> 01:01:52,941 Just open the trunk, please. 1099 01:01:52,943 --> 01:01:54,843 - Yeah, OK. - One. 1100 01:01:54,845 --> 01:01:56,978 Two. Three. 1101 01:01:56,980 --> 01:02:00,716 OK, here we go! 1102 01:02:03,119 --> 01:02:06,321 Alrighty, looks like you're good to go. 1103 01:02:08,224 --> 01:02:10,225 Uhh! I just need to tell you something. 1104 01:02:10,227 --> 01:02:14,496 I liked Predator Two. 1105 01:02:14,498 --> 01:02:17,065 Well, yeah, I didn't mind Predator Two. 1106 01:02:17,067 --> 01:02:19,201 - It's not bad. - Its OK. Danny Glover. 1107 01:02:19,203 --> 01:02:21,236 - You can't go wrong. - No. 1108 01:02:21,238 --> 01:02:23,371 - Break a leg. - Oh, yeah! Thank you. 1109 01:02:23,373 --> 01:02:25,273 - Because I'm an actor. - Yeah. 1110 01:02:25,275 --> 01:02:27,809 Oh, fuck, this sucks! 1111 01:02:27,811 --> 01:02:29,845 [rock music] 1112 01:02:44,193 --> 01:02:47,963 ¶ I wandered in late one night ¶ 1113 01:02:49,532 --> 01:02:54,269 ¶ Signs all said "open" But there was no one in sight ¶ 1114 01:02:57,173 --> 01:02:59,307 - I'm gonna fuckin' kill him. - Wait your turn. 1115 01:03:00,309 --> 01:03:01,510 Come on! 1116 01:03:01,512 --> 01:03:03,178 I'm never doing this shit again! 1117 01:03:03,180 --> 01:03:05,280 - You motherfucker! - No, no! Hold on! 1118 01:03:05,282 --> 01:03:06,948 What the fuck is this! Come on! 1119 01:03:06,950 --> 01:03:10,051 - Fuck you! - Hold on! Hey! 1120 01:03:10,053 --> 01:03:11,453 Fuck the both of you! 1121 01:03:11,455 --> 01:03:12,921 - You fucked up, man. - I fucked up! 1122 01:03:12,923 --> 01:03:14,256 All right, all right, all right! 1123 01:03:14,258 --> 01:03:16,391 I promise you, I'm not gonna hit the kid. 1124 01:03:16,393 --> 01:03:18,994 - All right. [grunts] - You fucker! 1125 01:03:18,996 --> 01:03:21,163 - What did you do that for? - Fuck you! Oh! 1126 01:03:21,165 --> 01:03:24,099 [Crunch] You had to do it. You proud of yourself? 1127 01:03:24,101 --> 01:03:26,935 - You motherfucker! Ah, you motherfucker. - Please! 1128 01:03:26,937 --> 01:03:29,571 Hey, hey, hey, hey. Hey, man. How's business? 1129 01:03:30,973 --> 01:03:34,209 It's fucking slow, man. 1130 01:03:42,218 --> 01:03:43,952 [Nicky] All right, what is this place? 1131 01:03:43,954 --> 01:03:45,420 [Crunch] His office is on the third floor. 1132 01:03:45,422 --> 01:03:47,989 I think he paid like three grand for the whole place. 1133 01:03:47,991 --> 01:03:50,525 He overpaid. 1134 01:03:51,928 --> 01:03:53,195 [Nicky] This is a golden opportunity. 1135 01:03:53,197 --> 01:03:55,564 I'm not doing this for me. 1136 01:03:55,566 --> 01:03:58,867 You know I'm flush. I'm doing this for you. 1137 01:03:58,869 --> 01:04:01,369 We're dropping this off, we're making a hell of a decent score here. 1138 01:04:01,371 --> 01:04:02,871 And in five minutes we're going home. 1139 01:04:02,873 --> 01:04:04,606 Give me a reason. Give me one reason. 1140 01:04:04,608 --> 01:04:08,410 OK. Where do we find the money to pay for these fakes? 1141 01:04:08,412 --> 01:04:11,046 It cost Guy ten grand to fake one. 1142 01:04:11,048 --> 01:04:13,315 These fakes would have to stand up to carbon dating 1143 01:04:13,317 --> 01:04:15,016 and expert scrutiny shit. 1144 01:04:15,018 --> 01:04:16,918 Ten grand a book, that's a hundred grand. 1145 01:04:16,920 --> 01:04:18,987 - I can front it. - You got a 100 grand laying around, Nicky? 1146 01:04:18,989 --> 01:04:21,156 Yes, I do. 1147 01:04:24,861 --> 01:04:26,928 You know, I guess this is it. 1148 01:04:26,930 --> 01:04:28,864 This could have been big. 1149 01:04:28,866 --> 01:04:32,000 We could have made history. 1150 01:04:42,578 --> 01:04:44,112 Damn it. 1151 01:04:46,182 --> 01:04:49,417 All right, let's go downstairs and talk about it. 1152 01:04:55,057 --> 01:04:58,293 A million per book. Ten million bucks, guys. 1153 01:04:58,295 --> 01:05:01,396 - You interested? - Of course, I'm fucking interested. 1154 01:05:01,398 --> 01:05:03,965 - Wonderful. - Uncle Paddy? 1155 01:05:03,967 --> 01:05:05,600 Ten buyers, I can find. Maybe more. 1156 01:05:05,602 --> 01:05:07,402 No, no, no. Let's stick with ten. 1157 01:05:07,404 --> 01:05:09,204 Let's not get greedy here. 1158 01:05:09,206 --> 01:05:12,140 - Guy, when can you get started? - Today. Now. 1159 01:05:12,142 --> 01:05:15,176 It will take me maybe three weeks... No, one month. 1160 01:05:15,178 --> 01:05:17,946 - I just need money. - OK, 100 grand, that's covered. 1161 01:05:17,948 --> 01:05:20,015 Oh, no, no, no, no, no. 1162 01:05:20,017 --> 01:05:22,384 Seven hundred, fifty thousand, minimum. 1163 01:05:22,386 --> 01:05:24,319 You just made one for ten thousand. 1164 01:05:24,321 --> 01:05:28,223 No. I made the cover for ten grand. The pages are total shit. 1165 01:05:28,225 --> 01:05:32,294 And if you want these to pass the carbon dating and the professional scrutiny, 1166 01:05:32,296 --> 01:05:33,995 seven hundred fifty. 1167 01:05:33,997 --> 01:05:35,497 Do we need to carbon date them? 1168 01:05:35,499 --> 01:05:38,033 With our buyers, most certainly. 1169 01:05:38,035 --> 01:05:41,269 That's it, man. Let's go take it back. 1170 01:05:41,271 --> 01:05:43,471 All right, look. 1171 01:05:43,473 --> 01:05:47,075 I could come up with about $300,000. 1172 01:05:47,077 --> 01:05:48,176 - But... - What? 1173 01:05:48,178 --> 01:05:49,945 Gonna take me a couple days. 1174 01:05:49,947 --> 01:05:51,479 We still need 450. 1175 01:05:51,481 --> 01:05:54,316 I can pull together a hundred thousand. 1176 01:05:54,318 --> 01:05:56,151 I can do one hundred. 1177 01:05:56,153 --> 01:06:00,188 OK. That's five. We're still 250 short. 1178 01:06:00,190 --> 01:06:02,424 Yeah. 1179 01:06:04,226 --> 01:06:06,294 OK, we'll be home at dawn. 1180 01:06:06,296 --> 01:06:08,029 Let's figure this out tomorrow. 1181 01:06:08,031 --> 01:06:09,497 OK. 1182 01:06:11,500 --> 01:06:13,435 - Crunch. - What? 1183 01:06:13,437 --> 01:06:16,404 - How much money have you got? - I got nothin'. 1184 01:06:18,040 --> 01:06:22,277 If there was ever a reason to mortgage your home... 1185 01:06:22,279 --> 01:06:23,745 Oh, no, no, no, no, man. I'm not doing that. 1186 01:06:23,747 --> 01:06:26,014 No, not the house. That's all I got. 1187 01:06:26,016 --> 01:06:28,616 If we pull this off, you can buy ten of 'em. 1188 01:06:28,618 --> 01:06:31,186 Look, man, I just... 1189 01:06:31,188 --> 01:06:32,420 Look, I don't know, OK? 1190 01:06:32,422 --> 01:06:33,555 Listen, I gotta think about it. 1191 01:06:33,557 --> 01:06:35,223 I wanna run it by Lola. 1192 01:06:35,225 --> 01:06:37,392 Well, don't take too long. We don't have time to lose. 1193 01:06:37,394 --> 01:06:41,096 Don't talk to me about lost time, Nicky. 1194 01:06:53,442 --> 01:06:55,410 I know what you want. 1195 01:06:55,412 --> 01:07:00,148 Good. 'Cause you're gonna need to talk to him. 1196 01:07:01,250 --> 01:07:02,684 He will never give you all that money. 1197 01:07:02,686 --> 01:07:04,252 No, but he'll give it to you. 1198 01:07:04,254 --> 01:07:06,521 - To me? - He trusts you. 1199 01:07:06,523 --> 01:07:09,424 And we're gonna be wiring money all over the world. 1200 01:07:10,659 --> 01:07:12,694 You're the only one that's not on any watch list. 1201 01:07:12,696 --> 01:07:15,730 - Francie isn't. - Francie hasn't taken a bath in six weeks. 1202 01:07:15,732 --> 01:07:17,665 [both chuckle] 1203 01:07:17,667 --> 01:07:19,667 Come on. 1204 01:07:21,303 --> 01:07:23,038 Can you convince him? 1205 01:07:27,076 --> 01:07:29,310 It's no good. It's no good. She's making you, Crunch. 1206 01:07:29,312 --> 01:07:31,079 She's probably fucking Nicky. 1207 01:07:31,081 --> 01:07:33,815 Hey, easy. Easy, Francie, come on. 1208 01:07:33,817 --> 01:07:36,584 We should just walk. I mean, he's juicing you 1209 01:07:36,586 --> 01:07:39,621 for hundreds of thousands of dollars, Crunch. 1210 01:07:39,623 --> 01:07:44,092 Cowards die many times before their actual death. 1211 01:07:44,094 --> 01:07:46,828 The brave, only but once. 1212 01:07:46,830 --> 01:07:48,696 Is that Julius Caesar? 1213 01:07:48,698 --> 01:07:53,802 Yes! Look, I know how you feel about Nicky, believe me. 1214 01:07:54,603 --> 01:07:56,604 But this... 1215 01:07:58,574 --> 01:08:02,177 ...this is the one we're all gonna be remembered for. 1216 01:08:02,179 --> 01:08:04,813 Ah, Jesus Murphy. 1217 01:08:31,474 --> 01:08:33,108 Ah, you waste no time. 1218 01:08:33,110 --> 01:08:35,110 What can I say? I'm excited. [laughs] 1219 01:08:35,112 --> 01:08:37,245 OK. Great, we're all here. 1220 01:08:37,247 --> 01:08:40,348 So, starting tomorrow, there'll be no contact. 1221 01:08:40,350 --> 01:08:43,384 During that time period Paddy will have made the sales, 1222 01:08:43,386 --> 01:08:45,353 Guy will have completed the books. 1223 01:08:45,355 --> 01:08:46,888 Crunch will be ready to ship them. 1224 01:08:46,890 --> 01:08:49,824 And Lola will be handling the money. 1225 01:08:49,826 --> 01:08:52,660 In a month's time, we'll contact Amsterdam, 1226 01:08:52,662 --> 01:08:56,764 the news will get out, we ship the books and we get rich. 1227 01:08:56,766 --> 01:08:59,200 Ha. The Reverend's gonna be some pissed. 1228 01:08:59,202 --> 01:09:00,335 I'll take care of the Reverend. 1229 01:09:00,337 --> 01:09:01,603 I'll call you with his number. 1230 01:09:01,605 --> 01:09:04,372 All right, Nicky, I just gotta say this. 1231 01:09:04,374 --> 01:09:07,375 If you're gettin' ready to do me wrong here somehow, 1232 01:09:07,377 --> 01:09:10,145 this is your chance. Just don't take this and all is forgiven, man. 1233 01:09:10,147 --> 01:09:11,679 No harm, no foul. 1234 01:09:12,882 --> 01:09:17,218 Crunch, I'm sorry about what happened. 1235 01:09:17,220 --> 01:09:19,554 OK, I fucked up. 1236 01:09:19,556 --> 01:09:21,789 I wish I could do it all over again. 1237 01:09:21,791 --> 01:09:25,160 But I can't. We gotta move on. 1238 01:09:26,562 --> 01:09:31,199 Look, you've always wanted to do something big, we all have. 1239 01:09:31,201 --> 01:09:32,800 This is our chance. 1240 01:09:32,802 --> 01:09:38,773 Come on, man, let's do this together, like brothers. 1241 01:09:45,347 --> 01:09:46,381 OK, man, I'm in. 1242 01:09:46,383 --> 01:09:47,715 [laughs] 1243 01:09:47,717 --> 01:09:50,552 All right. Here's to us, huh? 1244 01:09:50,554 --> 01:09:52,487 Right! 1245 01:09:52,489 --> 01:09:54,289 [all laughing] 1246 01:09:54,291 --> 01:09:56,658 Gettin' our just rewards. 1247 01:09:58,861 --> 01:10:00,762 [laughing distorts, fades] 1248 01:10:11,440 --> 01:10:14,442 Truly breathtaking, it is. 1249 01:10:14,444 --> 01:10:17,946 Oh, bloody hell. Hey, Midge. How you fixed for quarters? 1250 01:10:17,948 --> 01:10:20,315 - [Nicky] Dirty Ernie. - Hey, Nicky! 1251 01:10:20,317 --> 01:10:23,585 - Give us a hug! - I'm not a big hugger, Ernie. 1252 01:10:23,587 --> 01:10:28,223 Huh. Midge, go take a walk. 1253 01:10:28,225 --> 01:10:30,225 I'll see you at the hotel. 1254 01:10:32,861 --> 01:10:34,429 Now watch it, Ernie. 1255 01:10:34,431 --> 01:10:36,231 The hookers in this town aren't the cleanest. 1256 01:10:36,233 --> 01:10:38,700 Hey! That's my wife. 1257 01:10:38,702 --> 01:10:41,236 Oh. Ernie, I'm sorry. 1258 01:10:41,238 --> 01:10:45,406 Yeah, it's just, I guess the fashion in Europe is so much further ahead... 1259 01:10:45,408 --> 01:10:50,411 I'm pulling your chain, mate. That's a hooker. 1260 01:10:52,248 --> 01:10:55,383 So, what's the plan? 1261 01:10:57,820 --> 01:11:02,657 OK. You're gonna knock off ten copies of the Gospel According to James. 1262 01:11:02,659 --> 01:11:04,926 - All right. - Simultaneously, 1263 01:11:04,928 --> 01:11:07,729 Guy De Cornet will be in that building doing the same. 1264 01:11:07,731 --> 01:11:09,297 No. He sickens me, he does. 1265 01:11:09,299 --> 01:11:10,965 His work is so ostentatious... 1266 01:11:10,967 --> 01:11:14,269 Oh, forget him. Just focus on your own work. 1267 01:11:14,271 --> 01:11:15,770 Here's a key to the building. 1268 01:11:15,772 --> 01:11:18,573 All right. 1269 01:11:18,575 --> 01:11:20,575 - Guy's books will be perfect. - [groan] 1270 01:11:20,577 --> 01:11:23,344 They'll pass carbon dating, expert analysis, everything. 1271 01:11:23,346 --> 01:11:27,882 However, your copies, they won't need any of that carbon dating crap. 1272 01:11:27,884 --> 01:11:30,018 They'll just need to look convincing. 1273 01:11:30,020 --> 01:11:31,786 Oh, that's much, much cheaper. 1274 01:11:31,788 --> 01:11:33,621 But tell me this, why? 1275 01:11:33,623 --> 01:11:36,491 Why bother getting all that proper paper for Guy's books? 1276 01:11:36,493 --> 01:11:39,060 Why... why bother working that lot at all? 1277 01:11:39,062 --> 01:11:41,963 Because I plan on sending your ten copies of the book 1278 01:11:41,965 --> 01:11:44,599 to the buyers before they can send theirs. 1279 01:11:44,601 --> 01:11:48,936 This way, you and I can split it two ways instead of me having to cut it up five ways with them. 1280 01:11:48,938 --> 01:11:51,506 I see. Family's family, but money's money, eh? 1281 01:11:51,508 --> 01:11:55,476 Yeah, well, let me tell you something about family. 1282 01:11:55,478 --> 01:11:58,980 Crunch would do the same damn thing if he had any brains in his head. 1283 01:11:58,982 --> 01:12:02,583 Yeah, but then he delivers his books 1284 01:12:02,585 --> 01:12:05,320 a week after you've delivered yours, 1285 01:12:05,322 --> 01:12:09,424 they're gonna crucify him, and that greasy twat, Guy. 1286 01:12:09,426 --> 01:12:12,360 But then they're gonna come after you, my fine chum. 1287 01:12:12,362 --> 01:12:13,661 [cell phone rings] 1288 01:12:13,663 --> 01:12:16,564 I won't be around. 1289 01:12:17,466 --> 01:12:18,933 Yeah? 1290 01:12:18,935 --> 01:12:22,003 Nicky, you still want the Reverend's number? 1291 01:12:22,005 --> 01:12:25,873 - Text it to me, Paddy. - Consider it done. 1292 01:12:27,576 --> 01:12:29,944 [deep sigh] 1293 01:12:29,946 --> 01:12:31,913 [cell phone rings] 1294 01:12:31,915 --> 01:12:35,717 - Reverend: Yeah, what? - Yeah. Hi, Reverend. It's Nicky Calhoun. 1295 01:12:37,553 --> 01:12:40,621 What? Nicky Calhoun? 1296 01:12:40,623 --> 01:12:42,890 What are you doin' callin' me? 1297 01:12:42,892 --> 01:12:45,960 Listen, I just wanted to let you know that we've got your book 1298 01:12:45,962 --> 01:12:49,731 and just wanted to give you a heads up, there's a slight delay. 1299 01:12:49,733 --> 01:12:51,632 - Delay? - Right. With the delivery time. 1300 01:12:51,634 --> 01:12:53,668 It might take a month or so. 1301 01:12:53,670 --> 01:12:59,474 Look, I don't know what the fuck you're talking about. Don't call me again. 1302 01:13:01,009 --> 01:13:02,543 Listen, I'm gonna come see you 1303 01:13:02,545 --> 01:13:04,846 and we can discuss it then. How's that? 1304 01:13:04,848 --> 01:13:06,447 [dial tone] 1305 01:13:06,449 --> 01:13:10,084 Reverend? Reverend? 1306 01:13:13,389 --> 01:13:15,556 [Reverend's voicemail] Not here. Leave a message. 1307 01:13:15,558 --> 01:13:16,958 [Nicky] Reverend, again, I apologize about the delay. 1308 01:13:16,960 --> 01:13:18,526 I'm on my way to Detroit 1309 01:13:18,528 --> 01:13:20,428 so you and I can have a face-to-face. 1310 01:13:29,671 --> 01:13:30,938 [knocking] 1311 01:13:34,009 --> 01:13:36,677 Reverend? 1312 01:14:04,072 --> 01:14:06,607 [Crash] I think he paid, like, three grand for the whole place. 1313 01:14:06,609 --> 01:14:09,477 [Paddy] Why is it I've not heard that such as famous book as yours was nicked? 1314 01:14:09,479 --> 01:14:12,113 [past conversations overlapping] 1315 01:14:12,115 --> 01:14:15,950 - Paddy, come on. - Just listen to the story, before you say no, lads. 1316 01:14:15,952 --> 01:14:17,685 There's a good moral to this story. 1317 01:14:17,687 --> 01:14:19,520 [Paddy's voicemail] Paddy McCarthy here. 1318 01:14:19,522 --> 01:14:21,222 - Leave me a message and I'll call you back. - Fuck! 1319 01:14:21,224 --> 01:14:24,125 [Paddy] The special Gospel. 1320 01:14:24,127 --> 01:14:25,726 [Reverend] Last month, at the Vanderloos Gallery... 1321 01:14:25,728 --> 01:14:28,596 [speaking Dutch] 1322 01:14:28,598 --> 01:14:29,997 I'd like to report a theft. 1323 01:14:29,999 --> 01:14:31,699 I don't understand. 1324 01:14:31,701 --> 01:14:33,034 We're not the police. 1325 01:14:33,036 --> 01:14:35,136 No, no, no. It's a book in your collection. 1326 01:14:35,138 --> 01:14:37,638 A Gospel printed by the Gutenberg Press. 1327 01:14:37,640 --> 01:14:39,640 Yeah. I think you are mistaken. 1328 01:14:39,642 --> 01:14:42,176 No, no, no. It's the Gospel According to James and it's a fake. 1329 01:14:42,178 --> 01:14:44,745 - Check it out. - I can't do that. 1330 01:14:44,747 --> 01:14:47,048 - Why not? - We are sculpture museum. 1331 01:14:47,050 --> 01:14:52,153 We have no books or paintings. We have only sculpture. 1332 01:14:52,155 --> 01:14:54,956 [Nicky] The Reverend's got somebody on the inside. 1333 01:14:54,958 --> 01:14:58,259 - [Reverend] We have an expert coming in on Saturday. - [Nicky] Paddy, get us a name. 1334 01:14:58,261 --> 01:15:00,962 [operator] We're sorry. The number you have reached is not in service. 1335 01:15:00,964 --> 01:15:03,664 - Later, Crunch! - [Crunch] There's gotta be like, what... 1336 01:15:03,666 --> 01:15:06,100 - Fuck! - ...ten experts in the country they could have called. 1337 01:15:06,102 --> 01:15:08,503 - [Ponch] Olga Something-Long. - Hello? 1338 01:15:08,505 --> 01:15:09,604 It's Nicky Calhoun. 1339 01:15:09,606 --> 01:15:11,939 Have you... Have you seen Paddy? 1340 01:15:11,941 --> 01:15:14,075 - What? - Did you fuckin' see Paddy? 1341 01:15:14,077 --> 01:15:16,644 He left a couple of days ago. 1342 01:15:16,646 --> 01:15:20,014 What about the Gospel? Did Customs ask you to look at the Gospel? 1343 01:15:20,016 --> 01:15:22,817 - Gospel? - The fuckin' Gospel According to James! 1344 01:15:22,819 --> 01:15:25,219 Did they ask you to look at it? 1345 01:15:26,722 --> 01:15:28,122 What? 1346 01:15:32,160 --> 01:15:34,028 [panting] 1347 01:15:41,770 --> 01:15:45,106 And that is the story of the theft of the Mona Lisa. 1348 01:15:45,108 --> 01:15:50,278 You just took five and half of the best years of my life away, Nicky. 1349 01:15:50,280 --> 01:15:52,146 - [grunting] - [Paddy] Nicky Boy, 1350 01:15:52,148 --> 01:15:53,681 you'll pay the piper for what you did to Dennis. 1351 01:15:53,683 --> 01:15:54,982 I'll see to it meself. 1352 01:15:54,984 --> 01:15:56,183 I'll take care of the Reverend. 1353 01:15:56,185 --> 01:15:57,818 [Paddy] I'll call you with his number. 1354 01:15:57,820 --> 01:16:00,087 - [cell phone rings] - Yeah? 1355 01:16:00,089 --> 01:16:03,190 Nicky, want the Reverend's number? 1356 01:16:06,295 --> 01:16:08,863 [grunting, panting] 1357 01:16:13,168 --> 01:16:15,102 We could have made history. 1358 01:16:20,042 --> 01:16:20,041 [dialing cell phone] 1359 01:16:23,579 --> 01:16:25,580 [Lola's voicemail] Please leave a message. 1360 01:16:25,582 --> 01:16:27,882 Lola, pick up the phone. 1361 01:16:27,884 --> 01:16:30,785 Call me! We got a problem! 1362 01:16:33,722 --> 01:16:36,757 [Francie] So, so what are you telling me? You don't trust me. 1363 01:16:36,759 --> 01:16:39,760 It's not like I don't trust you. Come on. 1364 01:16:39,762 --> 01:16:42,663 - Everybody's fuckin' lyin' to me. - Nobody's lyin'. 1365 01:16:42,665 --> 01:16:46,200 It's like, uh, well, I'll tell you what it's like, it's like Claudius. 1366 01:16:46,202 --> 01:16:49,670 For my money, the greatest Roman Emperor of them all. 1367 01:16:49,672 --> 01:16:55,076 You know how Claudius survived some of the most brutal rulers of his time? 1368 01:16:55,078 --> 01:16:58,346 How he outlived all those crazy-assed homicidal family members? 1369 01:16:58,348 --> 01:17:00,748 - How? - Played the fool. 1370 01:17:02,084 --> 01:17:04,118 Played the fool and fooled them all. 1371 01:17:04,120 --> 01:17:06,754 Even those he loved. 1372 01:17:07,856 --> 01:17:09,190 [cell phone rings] 1373 01:17:09,192 --> 01:17:11,359 Bick. 1374 01:17:11,361 --> 01:17:14,729 Uh, OK. 1375 01:17:17,299 --> 01:17:18,966 Hello? 1376 01:17:19,835 --> 01:17:21,702 Four twenty-six? 1377 01:17:22,804 --> 01:17:24,205 OK. 1378 01:17:29,945 --> 01:17:32,847 How long have you been cooking this thing up? 1379 01:17:32,849 --> 01:17:35,349 Well, you remember Lola's little hot tub party? 1380 01:17:35,351 --> 01:17:37,752 And great men don't miss their fate. 1381 01:17:37,754 --> 01:17:39,954 I missed mine, Francie. 1382 01:17:39,956 --> 01:17:44,859 I was probably staring at it the whole time and I just missed it. 1383 01:17:44,861 --> 01:17:48,229 So everyone was in on this except for my lanky ass. 1384 01:17:48,231 --> 01:17:51,265 People are predictable Francis, you, me. 1385 01:17:51,267 --> 01:17:53,134 If we weren't, we'd just spend all our time 1386 01:17:53,136 --> 01:17:55,803 trying to figure out what crazy shit everybody else was up to. 1387 01:17:55,805 --> 01:17:59,273 All I did was drop off a sculpture. 1388 01:17:59,275 --> 01:18:02,109 And then picked it on up. 1389 01:18:02,111 --> 01:18:05,312 I just needed to plant the idea and let his imagination do the rest. 1390 01:18:05,314 --> 01:18:08,182 [Nicky] Saturday, ten AM. Guy walks into the border station. 1391 01:18:08,184 --> 01:18:11,218 - I got Guy on the other line. - OK. I'm in. 1392 01:18:13,855 --> 01:18:16,057 [panting] 1393 01:18:30,372 --> 01:18:32,273 [exhales] 1394 01:18:32,974 --> 01:18:34,408 Yeah. 1395 01:18:40,882 --> 01:18:42,983 [door opens quickly] 1396 01:18:50,859 --> 01:18:55,162 - You got a warrant? - I don't need a warrant. I'm not a cop. 1397 01:18:55,164 --> 01:18:57,465 But these guys are. 1398 01:18:57,467 --> 01:18:59,900 Domenic Calhoun, we've received information 1399 01:18:59,902 --> 01:19:03,270 giving us probable cause for a search. 1400 01:19:03,272 --> 01:19:05,406 Look who we have here. 1401 01:19:06,341 --> 01:19:08,309 Georges Seurat. 1402 01:19:08,311 --> 01:19:12,813 "Model, Rear-View," 1887. 1403 01:19:12,815 --> 01:19:14,181 Pointillist phase. 1404 01:19:22,924 --> 01:19:25,126 This is so beautiful. 1405 01:19:27,095 --> 01:19:29,263 I love all the little dots. 1406 01:19:29,265 --> 01:19:31,799 It's very artistic. 1407 01:19:42,277 --> 01:19:44,812 - [Crunch] You got it? - I do. 1408 01:19:46,148 --> 01:19:47,515 Where's your filly? 1409 01:19:47,517 --> 01:19:50,417 She'll be here, Paddy. 1410 01:19:50,419 --> 01:19:54,955 The lady has $750 grand of our capital. 1411 01:19:56,291 --> 01:19:58,793 I don't know, mon frere, she's maybe... 1412 01:19:58,795 --> 01:20:01,929 How do you say it? The scheming bitch. 1413 01:20:01,931 --> 01:20:04,064 Hey, guys, she's doin' something, all right? 1414 01:20:04,066 --> 01:20:07,067 Says she's got some kind of surprise for me. 1415 01:20:07,069 --> 01:20:09,370 She's just runnin' late, that's all. 1416 01:20:11,473 --> 01:20:12,940 We should just go. We should leave. 1417 01:20:12,942 --> 01:20:16,010 Yeah, Crunch, bud, I love you. 1418 01:20:16,012 --> 01:20:18,946 You know I'm with you. 1419 01:20:18,948 --> 01:20:22,049 I really think she just fuckin' split. 1420 01:20:22,051 --> 01:20:25,553 Just as likely to see a police cruiser as her car comin' around the corner, lad. 1421 01:20:25,555 --> 01:20:27,588 [tires squealing] 1422 01:20:31,293 --> 01:20:34,428 - Oh, cool. - What? 1423 01:20:34,430 --> 01:20:38,132 I, I saw you fight at the bar. 1424 01:20:38,134 --> 01:20:39,600 Did you? 1425 01:20:39,602 --> 01:20:42,603 Then he said you could hold onto it as insurance. 1426 01:20:42,605 --> 01:20:45,039 Now I'm gonna point at you really hard. 1427 01:20:45,041 --> 01:20:46,574 OK, fine. Then I'm gonna raise up my arms... 1428 01:20:46,576 --> 01:20:47,975 [both arguing] 1429 01:20:47,977 --> 01:20:50,044 OK, fine. 1430 01:20:52,180 --> 01:20:56,050 So, you mean, you really went through all this trouble 1431 01:20:56,052 --> 01:20:59,119 just to rob Nicky of 300 grand? 1432 01:20:59,121 --> 01:21:02,423 Three hundred thousand? Try 20 million. 1433 01:21:02,425 --> 01:21:05,292 This is where the story becomes interesting. 1434 01:21:05,294 --> 01:21:07,361 Two weeks ago, this painting was stolen 1435 01:21:07,363 --> 01:21:08,629 from an art collector in Mexico. 1436 01:21:08,631 --> 01:21:10,965 Fate, Francie. 1437 01:21:10,967 --> 01:21:12,633 Fate is what just happened. 1438 01:21:12,635 --> 01:21:15,269 I need you to find something for me. 1439 01:21:15,271 --> 01:21:17,504 Uncle Paddy could come up with ten buyers easily. 1440 01:21:17,506 --> 01:21:19,874 Ten buyers I can find, maybe more. 1441 01:21:19,876 --> 01:21:23,277 You see, all he needed was the news of the theft. 1442 01:21:23,279 --> 01:21:26,213 Paddy McCarthy here. I got a piece you might be interested in. 1443 01:21:26,215 --> 01:21:28,415 And she's a real beauty. 1444 01:21:28,417 --> 01:21:29,884 Where's the Seurat? 1445 01:21:29,886 --> 01:21:31,552 Georges Seurat, you ignorant fuck! 1446 01:21:31,554 --> 01:21:33,954 The seminal French "Post-Impressionalist". 1447 01:21:33,956 --> 01:21:35,456 The father of pointillism 1448 01:21:35,458 --> 01:21:38,058 - That Georges Seurat! - This is all about the Seurat. 1449 01:21:38,060 --> 01:21:39,326 This has nothing to do with Nicky's painting. 1450 01:21:39,328 --> 01:21:40,628 If this is even close to real, 1451 01:21:40,630 --> 01:21:42,496 Paddy's gonna make a bundle. 1452 01:21:42,498 --> 01:21:44,531 We still need four hundred and fifty. 1453 01:21:44,533 --> 01:21:47,301 I can pull together a hundred thousand. 1454 01:21:47,303 --> 01:21:49,904 I can do one hundred. 1455 01:21:53,275 --> 01:21:57,211 This is the one we're all gonna be remembered for. 1456 01:21:57,213 --> 01:21:59,413 Ah. 1457 01:21:59,415 --> 01:22:04,285 [Paddy chuckles] Ten forgeries, seven already shipped. 1458 01:22:04,287 --> 01:22:06,220 That's twenty million. 1459 01:22:06,222 --> 01:22:09,156 I really like this heist shit. 1460 01:22:09,158 --> 01:22:11,091 Ah, careful! That's the original. 1461 01:22:11,093 --> 01:22:13,060 Wait, you kept the real one? 1462 01:22:13,062 --> 01:22:15,596 The one... Interpol know the one in Nicky's room is fake? 1463 01:22:15,598 --> 01:22:17,932 Interpol already thinks they have the real one. 1464 01:22:17,934 --> 01:22:19,967 I just want to hold it. 1465 01:22:19,969 --> 01:22:22,369 How would you like live with it, Sam? 1466 01:22:25,674 --> 01:22:28,976 I think I'd like that very much. 1467 01:22:28,978 --> 01:22:30,444 The first time you see it, 1468 01:22:30,446 --> 01:22:34,114 you say it's real, whether it is or not. 1469 01:22:34,116 --> 01:22:39,553 Absolutely, positively, the real thing. 1470 01:22:39,555 --> 01:22:43,123 Boom! Oh ho! Come on, boys in blue! 1471 01:22:43,125 --> 01:22:46,327 Suit guy! Whoo! Come on! 1472 01:22:46,329 --> 01:22:49,129 - One for the good guys! - Indeed. 1473 01:22:49,131 --> 01:22:52,566 Well, everybody, it's truly been a pleasure. 1474 01:22:52,568 --> 01:22:56,403 - You did it, Dennis. - One for the ages, eh? 1475 01:22:56,405 --> 01:22:58,272 Either write something worth reading about, 1476 01:22:58,274 --> 01:23:00,240 or do something worth writing about. 1477 01:23:00,242 --> 01:23:03,310 Don't spend it all in one place. 1478 01:23:03,312 --> 01:23:05,012 [speaks French] 1479 01:23:08,183 --> 01:23:09,550 [Sam] Seasoned crooks swear 1480 01:23:09,552 --> 01:23:11,452 there's only two days you remember 1481 01:23:11,454 --> 01:23:13,988 about your stretch in prison: 1482 01:23:13,990 --> 01:23:15,489 the day you get in... 1483 01:23:15,491 --> 01:23:17,358 [door buzzing] 1484 01:23:17,360 --> 01:23:19,093 ...and the day you get out. 1485 01:23:20,328 --> 01:23:22,463 And you'll only remember your last 1486 01:23:22,465 --> 01:23:25,699 so long as you've got something waiting for you. 1487 01:23:25,701 --> 01:23:28,369 - One wallet. One watch. - As of the day you're released, 1488 01:23:28,371 --> 01:23:30,537 they can't inspect your mail. 1489 01:23:30,539 --> 01:23:35,476 Oh, and this arrived this morning. Just cleared. 1490 01:23:35,478 --> 01:23:37,444 Who's it from? 1491 01:23:37,446 --> 01:23:39,113 Doesn't say. 1492 01:23:39,115 --> 01:23:40,714 I could never be certain, 1493 01:23:40,716 --> 01:23:43,417 but I had faith. 1494 01:23:43,419 --> 01:23:46,086 I had trust. 1495 01:23:47,355 --> 01:23:50,257 And if you've got no trust... 1496 01:23:51,726 --> 01:23:53,794 ...then what do you got? 1497 01:23:55,163 --> 01:23:57,164 [¶ soul music] 1498 01:23:58,299 --> 01:24:01,235 ¶ Stop me, baby 1499 01:24:02,804 --> 01:24:05,339 ¶ Ooh 1500 01:24:06,708 --> 01:24:10,411 ¶ I'm feelin' awful, baby 1501 01:24:10,413 --> 01:24:14,448 ¶ Like I'm locked up in a cage ¶ 1502 01:24:14,450 --> 01:24:18,052 ¶ Like a dog who lost his collar ¶ 1503 01:24:18,054 --> 01:24:20,821 ¶ A show without a stage 1504 01:24:22,057 --> 01:24:25,292 ¶ I gotta move 1505 01:24:26,361 --> 01:24:29,196 ¶ Gotta pack my bags and go 1506 01:24:30,331 --> 01:24:32,699 ¶ Gotta move 1507 01:24:34,235 --> 01:24:36,703 ¶ Gotta pack my bags and go 1508 01:24:38,173 --> 01:24:41,241 ¶ I can't stay around here 1509 01:24:42,243 --> 01:24:44,778 ¶ And baby I'm sure you know 1510 01:24:46,281 --> 01:24:48,115 ¶ This love 1511 01:24:48,117 --> 01:24:50,417 ¶ This love... 1512 01:24:50,419 --> 01:24:52,519 - What painting? - The Seurat. 1513 01:24:52,521 --> 01:24:54,121 Whoa. Whoa. What? 1514 01:24:54,123 --> 01:24:57,157 The Georges Seurat, you ignorant fuck. 1515 01:24:57,159 --> 01:25:00,127 The seminal post French "Impressionalisht". 1516 01:25:00,129 --> 01:25:03,864 - The father of fucking... Fuck! - [all laughing] 1517 01:25:03,866 --> 01:25:07,734 The seminal founder of "Post-Impressionalism". 1518 01:25:07,736 --> 01:25:10,237 - The father of pointillism. - [Francie] Seminal French 1519 01:25:10,239 --> 01:25:13,173 - Post-Impressionist. - Seminal French Post-Impressionist. 1520 01:25:13,175 --> 01:25:15,109 - [Francie] And father of pointillism. - And father of pointillism. 1521 01:25:15,111 --> 01:25:17,578 The seminal French "Post-Impressionalist". 1522 01:25:17,580 --> 01:25:21,181 The founder of fuckin', fuckin' and the fuck line-ups. [laughs] 1523 01:25:21,183 --> 01:25:25,819 - [laughs] - Arr, matey! The Georges Seurat, you ignorant fuck. 1524 01:25:25,821 --> 01:25:28,722 The seminal father of "Post-Impressionalism". 1525 01:25:28,724 --> 01:25:31,225 The founder of fuckin'... 1526 01:25:31,227 --> 01:25:32,759 That guy! 1527 01:25:32,761 --> 01:25:35,329 The Seminal French "Post-Impressionalist". 1528 01:25:35,331 --> 01:25:36,697 The father of pointillism. 1529 01:25:36,699 --> 01:25:39,199 That Georges Seurat, you fuckin' baboon. 1530 01:25:39,201 --> 01:25:40,767 [crew applauds] 1531 01:25:40,769 --> 01:25:43,470 He's the seminal French "Post-Impressionalist"! 1532 01:25:45,173 --> 01:25:46,907 My God, you're a downer. 1533 01:25:46,909 --> 01:25:49,343 What the fuck, what are you, Eeyore? 1534 01:25:49,345 --> 01:25:50,777 What are you, Morrissey? 1535 01:25:50,779 --> 01:25:52,913 What are you, fuckin' Willy Loman? 1536 01:25:52,915 --> 01:25:54,848 A fuckin' boner killer. 1537 01:25:54,850 --> 01:25:57,718 [Crunch laughs] A boner-killer? 1538 01:26:00,288 --> 01:26:05,192 Even for you, Francie, I refuse to be a boner killer. 1539 01:26:06,761 --> 01:26:08,762 So, should I get the door? 1540 01:26:08,764 --> 01:26:10,564 [all laughing] 1541 01:26:10,566 --> 01:26:12,599 I'll get the door. 1542 01:26:13,801 --> 01:26:16,170 I'll get it. 1543 01:26:16,172 --> 01:26:17,604 Hoo hoo! 1544 01:26:19,240 --> 01:26:21,742 - I'm in a play. - Yeah? 1545 01:26:21,744 --> 01:26:24,244 - What's it called? - Amish Cats. 1546 01:26:24,246 --> 01:26:26,180 - [man] What's it called? - Punch My Pussy. 1547 01:26:26,182 --> 01:26:28,215 Punch My Pussy? 1548 01:26:28,217 --> 01:26:30,284 - Wait. What's it called? - Cats. 1549 01:26:30,286 --> 01:26:31,852 The... The Cats? 1550 01:26:31,854 --> 01:26:35,389 The Cats. Cats or The Cats. 1551 01:26:35,391 --> 01:26:37,758 - All rightee. With the beard? - Yeah. 1552 01:26:37,760 --> 01:26:40,761 ¶ I gotta move 1553 01:26:42,330 --> 01:26:44,798 ¶ Gotta pack my bags and go 1554 01:26:46,201 --> 01:26:48,569 ¶ Gotta move 1555 01:26:50,205 --> 01:26:52,506 ¶ Gotta pack my bags and go 1556 01:26:54,242 --> 01:26:57,211 ¶ I can't stay around here 1557 01:26:58,246 --> 01:27:00,881 ¶ Baby, I'm sure you know 1558 01:27:02,250 --> 01:27:03,850 ¶ This love 1559 01:27:03,852 --> 01:27:05,886 ¶ This love 1560 01:27:05,888 --> 01:27:09,823 ¶ This love ain't big enough for the two of us ¶ 1561 01:27:11,926 --> 01:27:14,761 ¶ I'm off to see the country 1562 01:27:15,830 --> 01:27:18,632 ¶ And breathe the ocean air 1563 01:27:19,767 --> 01:27:22,736 ¶ I can't take your whining 1564 01:27:23,671 --> 01:27:27,608 ¶ But how, I just don't care 1565 01:27:27,610 --> 01:27:31,645 ¶ I gotta get moving 1566 01:27:31,647 --> 01:27:33,947 ¶ By road or in the street 1567 01:27:35,583 --> 01:27:39,019 ¶ This love is like Hell's Kitchen ¶ 1568 01:27:39,021 --> 01:27:41,922 ¶ And I just can't take the heat ¶ 1569 01:27:43,625 --> 01:27:45,559 ¶ This love 1570 01:27:45,561 --> 01:27:47,527 ¶ This love 1571 01:27:47,529 --> 01:27:51,698 ¶ This love ain't big enough for the two of us ¶ 1572 01:27:56,371 --> 01:28:00,007 ¶ You used to be so sweet 1573 01:28:00,009 --> 01:28:03,377 ¶ Well, all the good loving's gone ¶ 1574 01:28:03,379 --> 01:28:07,047 ¶ I tried to understand 1575 01:28:08,583 --> 01:28:12,486 ¶ But a man can only take so much, girl ¶ 1576 01:28:21,329 --> 01:28:26,466 ¶ Hey, baby! 1577 01:28:38,713 --> 01:28:40,614 ¶ Come on 1578 01:28:45,953 --> 01:28:49,856 ¶ If you're looking for me baby ¶ 1579 01:28:49,858 --> 01:28:53,760 ¶ I'll be roaming in the streets ¶ 1580 01:28:53,762 --> 01:28:57,564 ¶ Be roaming in the street, baby ¶ 1581 01:28:57,566 --> 01:29:00,567 ¶ Come on 1582 01:30:09,971 --> 01:30:13,039 It's fuckin' slow, man.