1
00:00:51,970 --> 00:00:53,972
(AIRPLANE LANDING)
2
00:00:58,518 --> 00:01:00,311
(INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS)
3
00:01:01,229 --> 00:01:03,314
MAN: Hey, Seth Rogen.
What up, man?
4
00:01:03,398 --> 00:01:04,524
(MOUTHING)
5
00:01:06,776 --> 00:01:10,113
WOMAN: Oh, hey, John!
Over here!
6
00:01:10,196 --> 00:01:13,074
MAN OVER PA; Welcome to Los
Angeles International Airport.
7
00:01:13,158 --> 00:01:14,951
Attention, all passengers.
8
00:01:15,034 --> 00:01:16,953
Do not leave your
baggage unattended.
9
00:01:17,036 --> 00:01:19,581
All unattended baggage
is subject to search...
10
00:01:19,664 --> 00:01:21,916
(LAUGHING) Yay!
11
00:01:22,000 --> 00:01:23,793
We're so happy!
12
00:01:23,877 --> 00:01:25,086
Look at this!
13
00:01:25,170 --> 00:01:26,421
What's happening, man?
14
00:01:26,504 --> 00:01:27,797
Good to see you, buddy.
15
00:01:27,881 --> 00:01:29,340
How you doing?
I'm good, man.
16
00:01:29,424 --> 00:01:30,425
(LAUGHS)
Yes, you are.
17
00:01:31,134 --> 00:01:32,218
How long
has it been, man?
18
00:01:32,302 --> 00:01:33,428
Sometime in the last...
19
00:01:33,511 --> 00:01:35,472
Inside of a year or something.
Yeah.
20
00:01:35,555 --> 00:01:37,098
I have the best weekend
ever planned, man.
21
00:01:37,515 --> 00:01:39,684
Lay it on me. Ooh!
I don't want to ruin it.
22
00:01:39,976 --> 00:01:41,478
MAN: Seth Rogen!
Shit, here we go. Hey.
23
00:01:41,561 --> 00:01:42,937
How's it going, man?
Yeah, good.
24
00:01:43,021 --> 00:01:45,774
So,you,Hke, always play, like,
the same guy in every movie.
25
00:01:45,857 --> 00:01:47,567
When are you gonna do some,
like, real acting, man?
26
00:01:47,650 --> 00:01:48,651
SETH:
Okay, thank you.
27
00:01:48,735 --> 00:01:50,737
Give me something. Give
me, like, the laugh, man.
28
00:01:50,820 --> 00:01:52,113
Give me
the Seth Rogen laugh.
29
00:01:52,197 --> 00:01:54,616
(SETH LAUGHS)
Seth Rogen, everybody.
30
00:01:54,699 --> 00:01:57,952
All right, I've landed. I'm here.
We've said our hellos.
31
00:01:58,036 --> 00:02:01,039
Can we please go to
fucking Carl's Jr.?
32
00:02:01,498 --> 00:02:02,624
(GROANS) on.
33
00:02:02,707 --> 00:02:05,794
I would... I would love to.
I'm on a...
34
00:02:05,877 --> 00:02:07,420
I can't really eat
that stuff right now.
35
00:02:07,504 --> 00:02:08,755
I'm on a, uh...
What?
36
00:02:08,838 --> 00:02:09,839
I'm on this cleanse.
37
00:02:09,923 --> 00:02:11,633
You're...
You're on a what?
38
00:02:11,716 --> 00:02:12,967
I'm on a cleanse.
39
00:02:13,092 --> 00:02:14,969
(LAUGHING)
40
00:02:15,053 --> 00:02:17,013
What?
It's good for you.
41
00:02:17,096 --> 00:02:18,723
I didn't know... You're supposed
to take six shits a day.
42
00:02:18,807 --> 00:02:20,225
That's not true.
It is true!
43
00:02:20,266 --> 00:02:21,810
You're supposed to
shit twice a day. No.
44
00:02:21,893 --> 00:02:23,520
That's not true. That's
what they used to think.
45
00:02:23,603 --> 00:02:25,897
Now they know you're supposed
to shit six times a day.
46
00:02:25,980 --> 00:02:28,525
So you're not drinking. You're
not smoking weed. You're not...
47
00:02:28,650 --> 00:02:31,402
No, no, I'm drinking and
smoking weed. But...
48
00:02:31,486 --> 00:02:33,154
I'm on a cleanse.
I'm not psychotic.
49
00:02:33,238 --> 00:02:34,989
Look, man, if you
stopped eating gluten,
50
00:02:35,073 --> 00:02:37,158
you'd feel way fucking
better all day.
51
00:02:37,242 --> 00:02:39,160
Whenever you feel shitty,
that's 'cause of gluten.
52
00:02:39,244 --> 00:02:40,370
That's not true.
It is.
53
00:02:40,495 --> 00:02:42,497
Who the fuck told you not to eat gluten?
It's just true.
54
00:02:42,580 --> 00:02:44,165
You don't even know
what gluten is.
55
00:02:44,249 --> 00:02:45,500
I know what
fucking gluten is.
56
00:02:45,583 --> 00:02:46,793
No, you have no idea
what gluten is.
57
00:02:46,876 --> 00:02:47,877
I do know
what gluten is.
58
00:02:47,961 --> 00:02:49,462
Gluten's a vague term.
59
00:02:49,546 --> 00:02:52,632
It's something that's used to categorize
things that are bad, you know?
60
00:02:52,715 --> 00:02:55,343
Calories, that's a gluten.
Fat, that's a gluten.
61
00:02:55,426 --> 00:02:58,471
Somebodyjust told you you
probably shouldn't eat gluten,
62
00:02:58,555 --> 00:03:00,223
you're like, "Oh, I guess
I shouldn't eat gluten."
63
00:03:00,306 --> 00:03:02,475
Gluten means bad shit, man,
and I'm not eating it.
64
00:03:03,685 --> 00:03:05,019
Mmm!
65
00:03:05,270 --> 00:03:06,437
Mmm-hmm.
Oh!
66
00:03:06,521 --> 00:03:07,522
God!
67
00:03:07,814 --> 00:03:10,275
Each bite is better
than the previous bite.
68
00:03:10,358 --> 00:03:11,943
It is.
Gluten!
69
00:03:12,527 --> 00:03:13,695
Hey, this
looks beautiful.
70
00:03:13,778 --> 00:03:15,196
Yeah. Do you like it?
I totally redid it.
71
00:03:15,280 --> 00:03:16,281
It's fucking awesome.
72
00:03:16,364 --> 00:03:17,574
It's all new.
Those are new.
73
00:03:17,699 --> 00:03:19,284
God damn, son!
It's pretty nice, huh?
74
00:03:19,325 --> 00:03:21,578
So this is how the other half lives.
(SETH CHUCKLES)
75
00:03:21,661 --> 00:03:23,371
Come on.
Amazing.
76
00:03:23,454 --> 00:03:25,373
Air hockey tables.
Jesus Murphy!
77
00:03:25,456 --> 00:03:27,000
Right? Okay,
get ready, Jay.
78
00:03:27,083 --> 00:03:28,042
What?
79
00:03:28,126 --> 00:03:29,168
I have a little
surprise for you.
80
00:03:29,252 --> 00:03:30,211
Okay.
81
00:03:30,295 --> 00:03:32,547
Here's the best weekend you
ever had in your life. Oh!
82
00:03:34,090 --> 00:03:35,216
Look at it, man.
83
00:03:35,300 --> 00:03:36,885
Oh, my...
Are you serious?
84
00:03:36,968 --> 00:03:38,094
It's all of your
favorite things.
85
00:03:38,136 --> 00:03:41,556
Starburst and Airheads on a...
Yeah.
86
00:03:41,639 --> 00:03:42,599
And it says "Jay."
87
00:03:42,682 --> 00:03:44,392
In joints.
In joints.
88
00:03:44,475 --> 00:03:46,352
It says "Jay" in Jays-
89
00:03:47,103 --> 00:03:50,690
Seth Rogen, you are
just the best people.
90
00:03:50,773 --> 00:03:53,151
Come on, I know you don't love it
in LA, so I figure I'll make it...
91
00:03:53,234 --> 00:03:55,653
You know, I'll lube up
your entry a little bit.
92
00:03:55,737 --> 00:03:57,739
It eases the transition.
Yeah, right?
93
00:03:57,822 --> 00:03:59,407
This is the
much-needed foreplay.
94
00:03:59,490 --> 00:04:00,491
You know
what else I got?
95
00:04:00,575 --> 00:04:01,743
Yo, this...
96
00:04:01,826 --> 00:04:03,286
A 3-D television.
No, you didn't...
97
00:04:03,369 --> 00:04:05,246
I got a 3-D TV.
Are you serious?
98
00:04:05,330 --> 00:04:06,331
(IMITATES EXPLOSION)
99
00:04:06,456 --> 00:04:08,708
Oh, my God.
I did it, man.
100
00:04:08,791 --> 00:04:10,043
What?
101
00:04:10,126 --> 00:04:11,586
Let's get into it.
102
00:04:11,669 --> 00:04:13,379
Oh, my God, bud.
103
00:04:13,463 --> 00:04:14,923
It's Gandalf
the Grey's pipe.
104
00:04:15,006 --> 00:04:16,257
Damn, no shit.
105
00:04:16,341 --> 00:04:18,468
(MIMICS GANDALF)
Hello, little hobbit.
106
00:04:18,551 --> 00:04:20,929
Spark my ganja.
(LAUGHING) Yeah.
107
00:04:21,012 --> 00:04:23,222
(LAUGHS DRAMATICALLY)
108
00:04:23,306 --> 00:04:25,683
I'm a well-known
homosexual advocate.
109
00:04:25,767 --> 00:04:27,936
♪ Backstreet's back,
all right
110
00:04:32,982 --> 00:04:36,361
♪ Hey, hey, yeah, well
111
00:04:36,819 --> 00:04:38,446
♪ Everybody
Rock your body
112
00:04:38,571 --> 00:04:40,990
♪ Everybody
a' Everybody
113
00:04:41,074 --> 00:04:43,534
♪ Rook your body right
A“ Rock your body
114
00:04:43,618 --> 00:04:45,453
r everybody!
115
00:04:45,536 --> 00:04:46,955
♪ Backstreet's back... 4'
116
00:04:47,038 --> 00:04:49,290
SETH: Oh, my eyes feel
like they're melting.
117
00:04:49,374 --> 00:04:50,458
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
118
00:04:50,541 --> 00:04:51,960
I need a break.
119
00:04:52,752 --> 00:04:54,045
Oh. You know what,
actually?
120
00:04:54,128 --> 00:04:55,964
We should go to
Franco's house soon.
121
00:04:56,047 --> 00:04:57,298
He's having
a housewarming party.
122
00:04:57,382 --> 00:04:58,800
He just finished
building his house.
123
00:04:58,883 --> 00:04:59,884
I haven't even
seenityeL
124
00:04:59,968 --> 00:05:01,803
but it's supposed
to be bonkers.
125
00:05:01,886 --> 00:05:03,096
I haven't been
in LA in, like, a year,
126
00:05:03,179 --> 00:05:06,432
and I came here
to chill with you.
127
00:05:06,516 --> 00:05:08,643
We can chill together, and we'll
chill with those other guys.
128
00:05:08,726 --> 00:05:10,645
We'll all chill
as one big unit.
129
00:05:10,728 --> 00:05:12,105
Will I even know
anybody there?
130
00:05:12,188 --> 00:05:13,231
You know James Franco.
131
00:05:13,314 --> 00:05:15,650
James Franco doesn't
even know my name.
132
00:05:15,733 --> 00:05:16,901
Jonah Hill will be there.
133
00:05:16,985 --> 00:05:18,486
Can't stand him.
He can't stand me.
134
00:05:18,569 --> 00:05:21,280
He's, like, the nicest guy in the world!
He likes you so much.
135
00:05:21,364 --> 00:05:23,157
He specifically talks
about how he likes you.
136
00:05:23,241 --> 00:05:24,409
Out of nowhere, he just
said, "You know what?
137
00:05:24,492 --> 00:05:25,535
"Jay's an inspiration."
138
00:05:25,618 --> 00:05:28,246
There's no way he said that.
Also, just can't stand him.
139
00:05:28,329 --> 00:05:29,914
Okay, fine.
Craig Robinson.
140
00:05:29,998 --> 00:05:30,999
Never met him.
141
00:05:31,082 --> 00:05:32,500
He's hilarious.
142
00:05:32,583 --> 00:05:34,627
Sweats a lot,
but he's a great guy.
143
00:05:34,711 --> 00:05:36,254
So it's gonna
be fun, man.
144
00:05:36,838 --> 00:05:39,716
For you, I will go.
145
00:05:39,799 --> 00:05:42,343
I promise, I'll stay
with you all night, okay?
146
00:05:42,427 --> 00:05:45,680
I won't ditch you. No, 'cause I
want to be with you all night.
147
00:05:45,763 --> 00:05:47,932
And you know why else?
148
00:05:48,016 --> 00:05:50,351
'Cause nobody puts
Jay in the corner.
149
00:05:50,476 --> 00:05:52,520
(STEP INTO A WORLD PLAYING)
150
00:06:01,612 --> 00:06:02,864
Awesome.
151
00:06:02,947 --> 00:06:03,906
(LAUGHS) WOW!
152
00:06:04,032 --> 00:06:05,658
JAY: Thank you. Thank you.
There you go. Cool.
153
00:06:05,742 --> 00:06:07,243
Thanks a lot, eh?
Thanks a lot.
154
00:06:07,326 --> 00:06:08,369
DRIVER: Okay, man.
155
00:06:08,911 --> 00:06:10,496
(CHUCKLES) Holy shit.
156
00:06:11,205 --> 00:06:12,665
Wow!
157
00:06:13,624 --> 00:06:15,168
This is crazy!
158
00:06:15,251 --> 00:06:17,503
Yeah?
Yeah, man, right?
159
00:06:17,587 --> 00:06:19,714
Look at it.
A bit much.
160
00:06:19,797 --> 00:06:21,257
I don't think
it is a bit much.
161
00:06:21,340 --> 00:06:22,550
I think it's right
on the money.
162
00:06:22,633 --> 00:06:24,177
What is he,
Pablo Escobar?
163
00:06:24,260 --> 00:06:25,511
Come on, man, this is
an awesome street.
164
00:06:25,595 --> 00:06:27,263
Channing Tatum
lives up there.
165
00:06:27,346 --> 00:06:29,140
Oh, for the love of... Will
you stop talking about...
166
00:06:29,223 --> 00:06:30,308
This is the sexiest
street in America.
167
00:06:30,391 --> 00:06:31,517
You and
Channing Tatum.
168
00:06:31,601 --> 00:06:32,894
I think
he's attractive.
169
00:06:34,228 --> 00:06:36,147
I think it's a cool house.
I know you do.
170
00:06:36,230 --> 00:06:37,774
I can't wait
to see inside it.
171
00:06:37,857 --> 00:06:39,442
That's why I'm excited.
172
00:06:39,525 --> 00:06:43,237
Ha-ha! Yes!
What's up, man? Seth!
173
00:06:43,321 --> 00:06:45,239
So happy you're here.
I'm so happy to be here.
174
00:06:45,323 --> 00:06:46,574
Hey, Johnny,
what's up?
175
00:06:46,657 --> 00:06:48,076
It's Jay.
It's Jay.
176
00:06:48,159 --> 00:06:50,536
LWlnever forget it again, man.
Good to see you.
177
00:06:50,620 --> 00:06:52,330
Nice to see you. Come on in.
Yeah! Yeah, great.
178
00:06:52,413 --> 00:06:54,624
JAMES: Check it out.
My new place!
179
00:06:54,707 --> 00:06:56,459
SETH: Awesome, man!
180
00:06:56,542 --> 00:06:57,668
Designed it myself.
181
00:06:57,752 --> 00:07:00,505
Really cool. This place
is beautiful, man.
182
00:07:00,588 --> 00:07:02,590
This place is
like a piece of me.
183
00:07:02,673 --> 00:07:04,759
You two just
stepped inside me.
184
00:07:05,301 --> 00:07:07,929
You let us both
cum inside you. Yeah.
185
00:07:08,012 --> 00:07:10,723
Icing on the cake.
Check it out.
186
00:07:11,474 --> 00:07:12,517
Painted them myself.
187
00:07:12,934 --> 00:07:13,935
Huh.
188
00:07:14,018 --> 00:07:15,937
Side by side.
A team.
189
00:07:16,020 --> 00:07:17,021
(LAUGHS) Holy shit.
190
00:07:17,522 --> 00:07:19,232
So, is it weird?
191
00:07:19,315 --> 00:07:21,275
No.
You sure?
192
00:07:21,359 --> 00:07:23,027
I really like it.
193
00:07:23,111 --> 00:07:24,237
What do you think, Jay?
194
00:07:24,320 --> 00:07:26,447
I'm not a big art guy.
195
00:07:26,531 --> 00:07:27,782
You don't like art?
196
00:07:27,865 --> 00:07:29,742
Well, come on...
197
00:07:29,826 --> 00:07:31,744
You play video games?
Yes.
198
00:07:31,828 --> 00:07:33,871
Well, guess what, buddy?
You like art.
199
00:07:33,955 --> 00:07:34,956
Yep.
200
00:07:35,039 --> 00:07:36,165
You ever been
to Subway?
201
00:07:36,249 --> 00:07:37,291
Yes.
202
00:07:37,375 --> 00:07:38,751
You order a sandwich?
203
00:07:38,835 --> 00:07:40,962
Somebody put that together for you, dude.
That's art.
204
00:07:41,045 --> 00:07:42,130
Sandwich artist.
205
00:07:42,213 --> 00:07:43,422
So, let me
lay this on you, Jay.
206
00:07:43,506 --> 00:07:44,507
Oh, fuck.
207
00:07:44,590 --> 00:07:45,800
Your mama's pussy
was the canvas.
208
00:07:45,883 --> 00:07:47,635
Your dad's dick
was the paintbrush.
209
00:07:47,718 --> 00:07:49,720
Boom.
You're the art. Huh?
210
00:07:50,638 --> 00:07:52,223
Thanks, James Franco.
You got it.
211
00:07:52,306 --> 00:07:53,808
Seth!
Mindy, hello.
212
00:07:53,891 --> 00:07:55,476
Oh, my God, great to see you.
Oh, you, too.
213
00:07:55,560 --> 00:07:56,811
Long time.
How's it going?
214
00:07:56,894 --> 00:07:59,147
You know Jay? I don't think
I've ever actually met you.
215
00:07:59,230 --> 00:08:00,898
You were so good in
Million Dollar Baby.
216
00:08:00,982 --> 00:08:02,984
That's amazing. Thank you
so much for saying that.
217
00:08:03,067 --> 00:08:04,986
Oh, my God, if I don't
fuck Michael Cera tonight,
218
00:08:05,111 --> 00:08:07,071
I'm gonna blow my brains out.
What?
219
00:08:07,155 --> 00:08:09,365
Fucking pale, 110 pounds,
220
00:08:09,448 --> 00:08:12,910
hairless, probably has a huge
cock, coked out of his mind...
221
00:08:12,994 --> 00:08:15,246
You can do a lot better.
That's just trouble.
222
00:08:15,329 --> 00:08:18,875
So, Ri-Ri, how about you,
you ever see a psychiatrist?
223
00:08:18,958 --> 00:08:20,168
Um...
224
00:08:21,794 --> 00:08:23,504
(GRUNTS)
225
00:08:23,588 --> 00:08:25,256
JASON: That's not cool.
Don't touch my butt, bitch.
226
00:08:25,381 --> 00:08:27,425
Michael, that's not cool. Would
you shut the fuck up, Jason!
227
00:08:27,508 --> 00:08:29,385
We're playing
a game, man.
228
00:08:29,844 --> 00:08:31,637
Say cheese, baby.
229
00:08:33,014 --> 00:08:34,432
What's up, buddy?
How's it going, dude?
230
00:08:34,515 --> 00:08:35,725
Good to see you, man.
231
00:08:35,808 --> 00:08:37,351
Is that Jay Baruchel?
Hi, there. Hey.
232
00:08:37,435 --> 00:08:38,519
Oh, my God,
get in here, dude.
233
00:08:38,603 --> 00:08:40,188
How's it going, Jonah?
What are you doing?
234
00:08:40,271 --> 00:08:42,523
Good. How you doing, buddy?
Oh, my gosh.
235
00:08:42,607 --> 00:08:44,650
Welcome back.
Thank you very much.
236
00:08:44,734 --> 00:08:46,611
When'd you get in?
Uh, this morning,
237
00:08:46,694 --> 00:08:48,529
and boy,
are my arms tired.
238
00:08:48,613 --> 00:08:50,031
(LAUGHS)
239
00:08:50,114 --> 00:08:51,324
Dude, that's great.
240
00:08:51,407 --> 00:08:52,408
Thank you.
JONAH: Sick.
241
00:08:52,491 --> 00:08:53,993
What have you guys
been doing?
242
00:08:54,076 --> 00:08:55,912
Oh, we just
hung out all day.
243
00:08:55,995 --> 00:08:59,916
Ate a bunch of dirty burgers, and
smoked about a fucking pound of weed
244
00:08:59,999 --> 00:09:01,417
and played
a bunch of video games.
245
00:09:01,500 --> 00:09:03,711
Weed is tight. Weed is tight.
That's awesome.
246
00:09:03,794 --> 00:09:05,004
That's awesome.
Weed is awesome.
247
00:09:05,087 --> 00:09:07,423
It was like the golfing
sequence in Navy SEALs.
248
00:09:07,506 --> 00:09:09,550
Sick reference, though, bro.
Oh, thanks, bud.
249
00:09:09,634 --> 00:09:11,802
Dude, your references are out of control.
Everyone knows that.
250
00:09:11,886 --> 00:09:13,471
Hey, thanks, man.
I'm jealous.
251
00:09:13,554 --> 00:09:15,848
I would have been there
in a heartbeat,
252
00:09:15,932 --> 00:09:19,227
but, uh, I actually just adopted
this incontinent spaniel.
253
00:09:19,310 --> 00:09:20,394
She's a really
beautiful soul.
254
00:09:20,478 --> 00:09:22,104
Her name's Ahjhai.
Ahjhai?
255
00:09:22,188 --> 00:09:23,231
Yeah.
How do you spell it?
256
00:09:23,314 --> 00:09:24,857
A-H-J-H-A-I.
257
00:09:24,941 --> 00:09:26,067
A-H...
258
00:09:26,150 --> 00:09:27,109
You want to see
a picture of her?
259
00:09:27,193 --> 00:09:29,237
Oh, she's so sweet.
Hey!
260
00:09:29,320 --> 00:09:30,571
Look at her.
SETH: Aw!
261
00:09:30,655 --> 00:09:32,323
She can't bark. She
doesn't know how, so...
262
00:09:32,406 --> 00:09:33,491
She doesn't know
how to bark, even?
263
00:09:33,574 --> 00:09:34,575
She doesn't know
how to bark,
264
00:09:34,659 --> 00:09:36,244
so I've tried
to teach her
265
00:09:36,327 --> 00:09:38,496
and she just kind of
screams, and so she was up,
266
00:09:38,579 --> 00:09:41,249
had her face smushed against
the cage, and was, like...
267
00:09:41,332 --> 00:09:42,541
(YELLING) Ah!
268
00:09:43,459 --> 00:09:44,835
Yeah, cool. Um...
269
00:09:45,503 --> 00:09:47,797
Tell you what, boys,
I'm kind ofjonesing,
270
00:09:47,880 --> 00:09:51,259
so I'm gonna find someone loan bum
a smoke off of outside, all right?
271
00:09:51,342 --> 00:09:53,094
That's tight, dude.
Honestly, I like you.
272
00:09:53,177 --> 00:09:54,178
Hey, likewise.
273
00:09:54,262 --> 00:09:55,680
SETH:
Okay, dude, come back.
274
00:09:55,763 --> 00:09:58,599
I'll be right back. You're holding court.
All right, boys.
275
00:09:58,891 --> 00:10:01,894
Dude. I know. I think we're
making some progress.
276
00:10:01,978 --> 00:10:02,937
That was really good.
277
00:10:03,020 --> 00:10:04,313
And honestly,
he's your old friend.
278
00:10:04,397 --> 00:10:05,773
We're your new friends.
He feels threatened.
279
00:10:05,856 --> 00:10:06,857
Yeah, man.
280
00:10:06,941 --> 00:10:08,609
You know,
and I get it.
281
00:10:08,693 --> 00:10:09,652
It's gonna be fine.
282
00:10:09,735 --> 00:10:11,070
I honestly think
tonight's the night
283
00:10:11,153 --> 00:10:12,321
we bust
this whole thing open.
284
00:10:12,405 --> 00:10:15,574
And I'm lucky. It's the
same thing a lot, though.
285
00:10:15,658 --> 00:10:17,285
It's, like, my TV wife
openstheffldge,
286
00:10:17,368 --> 00:10:20,204
andis,Hke, "What happened
to the birthday cake?"
287
00:10:20,288 --> 00:10:22,957
And I come outwith, like,
a little frosting, like,
288
00:10:23,040 --> 00:10:24,375
(GOOFY VOICE)
"What birthday cake?"
289
00:10:24,458 --> 00:10:26,043
'Cause you ate the cake! Yeah.
290
00:10:26,127 --> 00:10:27,336
'Cause you ate the cake!
291
00:10:27,420 --> 00:10:28,629
"It's my birthday."
292
00:10:28,713 --> 00:10:30,381
(LAUGHING HYSTERICALLY)
293
00:10:30,464 --> 00:10:33,050
That's why y'all number one.
'Cause of that.
294
00:10:33,384 --> 00:10:34,427
You're Jay, right?
Yeah.
295
00:10:34,510 --> 00:10:35,511
Seth's boy?
Yeah.
296
00:10:35,594 --> 00:10:36,887
How you doing, man?
Good to see you.
297
00:10:36,971 --> 00:10:38,055
Good.
Likewise, likewise.
298
00:10:38,097 --> 00:10:40,099
I'm Craig, man. This is Emma.
Hi. Hi, there.
299
00:10:40,391 --> 00:10:41,809
You just in town
visiting him, or what?
300
00:10:41,892 --> 00:10:45,021
Yeah. Just for a little
visit, you know.
301
00:10:45,104 --> 00:10:47,106
I try to not come
down here very much.
302
00:10:47,189 --> 00:10:48,482
I don't really
love it here.
303
00:10:48,566 --> 00:10:49,525
You don't like LA?
304
00:10:49,608 --> 00:10:53,404
I'm just not really
into the LA lifestyle.
305
00:10:53,904 --> 00:10:55,197
What lifestyle
are you into?
306
00:10:55,281 --> 00:10:57,783
Look at him. He's, like,
a hipster, right?
307
00:10:57,867 --> 00:11:00,453
No, I'm not
a hipster, at all.
308
00:11:00,536 --> 00:11:03,122
Yeah, yeah, you do seem
to hate a lot of things,
309
00:11:03,205 --> 00:11:04,874
and the bottom of your
pants are awful tight.
310
00:11:04,957 --> 00:11:08,794
No, I just... I don't like Los Angeles.
It doesn't make me a hipster.
311
00:11:08,878 --> 00:11:11,130
I'll bet you hate movies
that are universally loved.
312
00:11:11,213 --> 00:11:12,214
I don't even...
313
00:11:12,298 --> 00:11:13,341
You like Forrest Gump?
314
00:11:13,424 --> 00:11:16,010
No, no, it's a horrendous
piece of shit.
315
00:11:16,093 --> 00:11:18,179
"Life is like a box
of chocolates," no?
316
00:11:18,262 --> 00:11:19,764
Yeah, no,
I'm familiar with it.
317
00:11:20,848 --> 00:11:23,059
"You never know
what you're gonna get."
318
00:11:24,268 --> 00:11:26,979
Why don't we do a sequel
to Pineapple Express?
319
00:11:27,063 --> 00:11:28,439
I would love to do
a sequel to Pineapple.
320
00:11:28,522 --> 00:11:29,523
Do you have
any ideas, or...
321
00:11:29,607 --> 00:11:31,192
I do have an idea.
What?
322
00:11:31,275 --> 00:11:34,487
It's that Red, Danny, has
become, like, the drug lord,
323
00:11:34,570 --> 00:11:36,530
you know, since we
killed the other one,
324
00:11:36,614 --> 00:11:38,699
and he wants to assassinate
Woody Harrelson,
325
00:11:38,783 --> 00:11:41,744
'cause he's gonna give a speech
that makes all of weed legal,
326
00:11:41,827 --> 00:11:44,205
effectively rendering
drug lords out of business.
327
00:11:44,330 --> 00:11:46,123
Awesome. Yeah, it's
fucking awesome,
328
00:11:46,207 --> 00:11:48,793
but we don't have... We don't
know how it should end yet.
329
00:11:48,876 --> 00:11:50,169
I... I know.
330
00:11:50,294 --> 00:11:52,880
Danny's trying to kill us. Yeah.
331
00:11:52,963 --> 00:11:55,549
And I sacrifice
myself for you.
332
00:11:55,633 --> 00:11:58,094
And he kills me,
333
00:11:58,177 --> 00:11:59,470
and I die for you.
334
00:12:00,096 --> 00:12:03,182
And Danny fucking eats me.
(LAUGHS)
335
00:12:03,307 --> 00:12:05,142
Why does he eatyou?
I don't know.
336
00:12:05,226 --> 00:12:07,770
I'm just trying to think of,
like, the nastiest way to go.
337
00:12:07,853 --> 00:12:10,231
(LAUGHS) Yeah, he could eat you.
Okay. That's a good idea, man.
338
00:12:10,314 --> 00:12:12,608
He's just out of his mind.
He just, like, eats me.
339
00:12:13,067 --> 00:12:14,276
Hey, Chris.
How's it going?
340
00:12:14,360 --> 00:12:16,320
Hey, does this coke smell funny?
Ooh!
341
00:12:16,404 --> 00:12:18,322
Fuck! Michael, what
the fuck, man?
342
00:12:18,406 --> 00:12:19,949
That's expensive shit,
motherfucker!
343
00:12:20,032 --> 00:12:21,117
What are you doing?
344
00:12:21,200 --> 00:12:23,577
I've never fucking done cocaine, dude.
Why does it fucking...
345
00:12:23,661 --> 00:12:25,579
Well, you did the best shit
possible for your first time,
346
00:12:25,663 --> 00:12:26,664
'cause that's
good fucking...
347
00:12:26,747 --> 00:12:27,957
Fuck, fuck, fuck,
I'm nervous, dude.
348
00:12:27,998 --> 00:12:29,375
I don't know what... What
is wrong with you, man?
349
00:12:29,458 --> 00:12:30,501
Look, he's freaking out.
Oh, shit.
350
00:12:30,584 --> 00:12:32,044
I've never done this
fucking drug before, man.
351
00:12:32,128 --> 00:12:33,129
Mike, please.
352
00:12:33,212 --> 00:12:34,839
I'll walk you through it.
I will walk you through it.
353
00:12:34,922 --> 00:12:36,632
Mike, no one...
I'll be your guide.
354
00:12:36,757 --> 00:12:38,342
You're fine, Chris. You're fine.
Is it on...
355
00:12:38,426 --> 00:12:39,510
You got some in
your mustache, baby.
356
00:12:39,593 --> 00:12:40,636
What are you...
Michael!
357
00:12:41,095 --> 00:12:42,930
(PLAYING PIANO) Now, fellas, I
want you to real sexy right now.
358
00:12:43,013 --> 00:12:45,099
We're gonna sing
to all the ladies.
359
00:12:45,182 --> 00:12:48,602
All the fellas go like this,
in your Barry White voice.
360
00:12:48,686 --> 00:12:50,354
I Take your panties off
361
00:12:50,438 --> 00:12:52,022
MEN:
a' Take your panties off
362
00:12:52,106 --> 00:12:53,691
CRAIG:
♪ Take your panties off
363
00:12:54,150 --> 00:12:55,609
MEN:
a' Take your panties off
364
00:12:55,693 --> 00:12:58,946
CRAIG: J' Come on, Rihanna
Take your panties off for me
365
00:12:59,029 --> 00:13:01,991
♪ Come on, Craig,
can you fuck off for me? I
366
00:13:02,074 --> 00:13:03,409
(CHEERING)
367
00:13:04,952 --> 00:13:06,662
I'll do one of them things.
(LAUGHTER)
368
00:13:07,288 --> 00:13:08,539
JAMES: Like an angel.
369
00:13:08,622 --> 00:13:10,291
What about
the host of the party?
370
00:13:10,374 --> 00:13:12,042
♪ I ain't got
no panties on
371
00:13:12,668 --> 00:13:14,795
♪ He ain't got no
panties, everybody!
372
00:13:14,879 --> 00:13:16,589
♪ We ain't got
no panties on
373
00:13:16,714 --> 00:13:18,382
♪ We ain't got no
panties on (LAUGHTER)
374
00:13:18,466 --> 00:13:20,134
♪ We ain't got
no panties on
375
00:13:20,217 --> 00:13:22,428
♪ We ain't got no panties on
376
00:13:23,762 --> 00:13:25,514
♪ Ain't nobody
got no panties on
377
00:13:25,598 --> 00:13:27,057
♪ We ain't got
no panties on
378
00:13:27,141 --> 00:13:28,517
♪ Ain't no party
like a no-panty party
379
00:13:28,601 --> 00:13:29,977
♪ 'Cause a no-panty party
don't stop
380
00:13:30,519 --> 00:13:32,188
JAMES".
4“ Fuck those panties
381
00:13:32,271 --> 00:13:33,772
ALL:
a' Fuck those...
382
00:13:33,856 --> 00:13:35,774
JAMES: (DISTANTLY)
♪ Fuck those panties
383
00:13:35,858 --> 00:13:37,359
ALL:
a' Fuck those panties
384
00:13:37,443 --> 00:13:38,944
JAMES".
4“ Fuck those panties a'
385
00:13:39,028 --> 00:13:40,279
What's not kid-friendly?
386
00:13:40,404 --> 00:13:41,822
There's a lot of sharp edges.
Concrete, sharp edges.
387
00:13:41,906 --> 00:13:43,657
DAVID: He's gonna bust his head
open on one of those things.
388
00:13:43,741 --> 00:13:45,784
A kid could fall off this
fucking railing right here.
389
00:13:45,868 --> 00:13:47,620
That's why you have the
railing, so they don't fall.
390
00:13:47,745 --> 00:13:49,663
Hey. Sorry. I want to
have kids one day.
391
00:13:49,747 --> 00:13:52,374
Hey, Jay.
Oh, hey, hi, Jonah.
392
00:13:52,458 --> 00:13:54,460
Is there any place around here I
can buy a pack of cigarettes?
393
00:13:54,543 --> 00:13:55,586
Yeah.
394
00:13:55,669 --> 00:13:57,296
There's a place like, it's
like, four blocks away, maybe.
395
00:13:57,963 --> 00:13:59,340
You want to
come with me?
396
00:13:59,423 --> 00:14:01,383
Give me this much time.
That much joint time.
397
00:14:02,676 --> 00:14:03,886
(WOMAN GASPS)
Oh!
398
00:14:03,969 --> 00:14:05,763
Jesus!
Hey,Jay.
399
00:14:06,222 --> 00:14:08,265
Hey, you need to use the toilet, honey?
Go ahead.
400
00:14:08,933 --> 00:14:10,768
Nope, I'm... lsorry.
401
00:14:11,101 --> 00:14:13,354
Who wants a sip?
Sip time.
402
00:14:13,938 --> 00:14:15,439
(SIPPING)
(JAY GROANS)
403
00:14:25,533 --> 00:14:26,617
You okay, man?
404
00:14:26,700 --> 00:14:28,369
It's nothing.
It's just, you know,
405
00:14:28,452 --> 00:14:31,580
as soon as we got there, you did
what you said you wouldn't do.
406
00:14:31,664 --> 00:14:33,958
What did I do? You just
fucking ditched my ass.
407
00:14:34,041 --> 00:14:36,835
I didn't ditch you.
Are you kidding me, man?
408
00:14:36,919 --> 00:14:38,128
I did not ditch you.
409
00:14:38,212 --> 00:14:41,549
I was talking to Jonah, and then
you left to go have a cigarette.
410
00:14:41,632 --> 00:14:44,718
Well, you know, my
cigarette was an excuse.
411
00:14:44,802 --> 00:14:46,887
I really went outside 'cause
Jonah was being a prick.
412
00:14:46,971 --> 00:14:48,639
Jonah was not
being a prick.
413
00:14:48,722 --> 00:14:50,224
If anything, you were
kind of being a prick.
414
00:14:50,307 --> 00:14:51,892
Jonah's the nicest
guy ever, man.
415
00:14:51,976 --> 00:14:54,687
Oh, my God, that's a
thin veneer of kindness.
416
00:14:54,770 --> 00:14:55,771
Nobody's that nice.
417
00:14:55,854 --> 00:14:56,939
Jonah is that nice.
418
00:14:57,022 --> 00:14:58,566
Serial killers
are that nice.
419
00:14:58,649 --> 00:15:00,568
Just answer me
one question.
420
00:15:00,651 --> 00:15:02,903
Is Michael Cera's butthole
as adorable as I pictured?
421
00:15:02,987 --> 00:15:04,238
Oh, for fuck's sake.
422
00:15:04,321 --> 00:15:06,365
I picture it looking
like a little donut,
423
00:15:06,448 --> 00:15:08,033
like a little
pink sprinkled donut.
424
00:15:08,492 --> 00:15:10,077
Oh, it's so
bright in here.
425
00:15:10,160 --> 00:15:11,745
It is fucking bright.
426
00:15:11,829 --> 00:15:13,581
Oh, I'm so high.
427
00:15:13,664 --> 00:15:17,126
There's so many delicious choices.
What do I do?
428
00:15:17,209 --> 00:15:19,086
I'm gonna get something to drink.
Okay.
429
00:15:19,169 --> 00:15:20,921
Excuse me,
would it be possible
430
00:15:21,005 --> 00:15:22,423
for my daughter to
use your restroom?
431
00:15:22,506 --> 00:15:23,966
She's really got to go.
432
00:15:24,049 --> 00:15:26,427
Read the sign.
Customers only.
433
00:15:26,510 --> 00:15:27,511
Seriously?
434
00:15:27,595 --> 00:15:30,222
Why the fuck you think
I put up the sign?
435
00:15:30,306 --> 00:15:32,099
DAUGHTER: It's okay, Dad.
I can hold it.
436
00:15:32,182 --> 00:15:34,685
FATHER: Let's just buy
something for your mother.
437
00:15:34,768 --> 00:15:37,313
CASHIER: Yeah, well,
I guess you better, huh?
438
00:15:37,396 --> 00:15:39,148
This cash register lady
is mean.
439
00:15:39,231 --> 00:15:40,941
I have anxiety. Will
you buy this for me?
440
00:15:41,025 --> 00:15:42,484
When I'm stoned,
I can't do this.
441
00:15:42,568 --> 00:15:44,778
I think I'm just gonna
head back to your place.
442
00:15:44,862 --> 00:15:47,740
I'm not really liking it very
much over there at Franco's.
443
00:15:47,823 --> 00:15:50,242
Dude, I want you to get to know these guys.
That's never gonna happen
444
00:15:50,326 --> 00:15:53,245
if you don't put in any
effort whatsoever, okay?
445
00:15:53,329 --> 00:15:54,872
I hate it in there.
446
00:15:54,955 --> 00:15:57,541
I just want to drink some
pop and smoke some weed.
447
00:15:57,916 --> 00:15:59,209
(EXPLOSION THUNDERING)
(ALL SCREAMING)
448
00:15:59,501 --> 00:16:00,544
(GRUNTS)
449
00:16:02,421 --> 00:16:04,214
(GASPING)
450
00:16:05,924 --> 00:16:07,217
(SCREAMING INDISTINCTLY)
451
00:16:08,719 --> 00:16:10,471
(WOMAN SCREAMS)
452
00:16:15,476 --> 00:16:16,727
What about...
453
00:16:19,396 --> 00:16:21,148
What about me?
454
00:16:29,198 --> 00:16:30,199
(SETH SCREAMS)
455
00:16:32,034 --> 00:16:33,911
(INDISTINCT SHOUTING)
456
00:16:41,251 --> 00:16:43,170
(PANTING NERVOUSLY)
457
00:16:46,423 --> 00:16:47,925
Are you okay?
Are you okay?
458
00:16:48,008 --> 00:16:49,385
Did you just see that?
459
00:16:49,468 --> 00:16:50,803
What the hell?
460
00:16:52,179 --> 00:16:54,973
Oh, my God, Jesus,Jesus!
Run, run, run!
461
00:16:56,225 --> 00:16:58,018
This way!
Qkav, okay, okay!
462
00:16:58,102 --> 00:16:59,144
(CAR ALARMS BLARING)
(BOTH SCREAMING)
463
00:16:59,436 --> 00:17:00,729
(TIRES SCREECHING)
464
00:17:03,107 --> 00:17:04,858
Oh, my God!
Oh, oh...
465
00:17:04,942 --> 00:17:06,193
(CAR HORN HONKS)
Oh, Jesus.
466
00:17:06,694 --> 00:17:07,695
(MAN SCREAMS)
467
00:17:07,778 --> 00:17:08,862
Run!
468
00:17:08,946 --> 00:17:10,280
Jesus Christ!
469
00:17:10,656 --> 00:17:13,575
Why the fuck did you
bring me down here?
470
00:17:13,659 --> 00:17:14,660
(SCREAMS)
471
00:17:15,786 --> 00:17:17,871
The fuck, Seth? I don't
know what's happening!
472
00:17:17,955 --> 00:17:19,081
(HORN HONKS)
473
00:17:19,164 --> 00:17:21,041
We're going back to Franco's.
Why?
474
00:17:21,834 --> 00:17:24,044
SETH: Just run!
Keep running!
475
00:17:24,128 --> 00:17:25,379
JAY: Oh, my fuck!
476
00:17:25,462 --> 00:17:26,964
(BOTH YELL)
477
00:17:27,047 --> 00:17:29,216
We are going
back to Franco's!
478
00:17:29,299 --> 00:17:30,342
Oh, God damn it.
479
00:17:30,843 --> 00:17:31,885
(SIRENS WAILING)
(CAR HONKING)
480
00:17:31,969 --> 00:17:33,470
Jesus!
Oh, shit!
481
00:17:34,346 --> 00:17:37,516
This way. We're almost there!
We're so close!
482
00:17:37,599 --> 00:17:39,351
(RETRO MUSIC PLAYING)
483
00:17:39,435 --> 00:17:41,145
(BOTH PANTING)
484
00:17:42,813 --> 00:17:43,814
Hey, you guys okay?
485
00:17:43,897 --> 00:17:44,982
Are you guys Okay?
486
00:17:45,065 --> 00:17:47,901
There was a crazy earthquake.
Did you guys feel that?
487
00:17:47,985 --> 00:17:49,403
That was insane.
Fuck,no.
488
00:17:49,486 --> 00:17:50,487
We can't feel
anything in here.
489
00:17:50,571 --> 00:17:52,239
This place is
a fucking fortress.
490
00:17:52,322 --> 00:17:54,074
That wasn't
an earthquake, man.
491
00:17:54,199 --> 00:17:55,784
That was something way
fucking crazier. No...
492
00:17:55,868 --> 00:17:56,869
What's crazier
than an earthquake?
493
00:17:56,952 --> 00:18:00,414
There were beams of blue
light coming out of the sky
494
00:18:00,497 --> 00:18:03,000
and people getting
sucked up into the sky.
495
00:18:03,083 --> 00:18:05,294
He's on hallucinogens.
(ALL LAUGHING)
496
00:18:05,377 --> 00:18:09,089
Come on, guys. Don't bully Jay.
He's a sweetheart.
497
00:18:09,173 --> 00:18:10,424
Keep going, man. What
are you talking about?
498
00:18:10,507 --> 00:18:11,759
(PANTING)
499
00:18:11,842 --> 00:18:14,094
There were people,
and they were there,
500
00:18:14,178 --> 00:18:16,764
and they got
sucked up into the sky.
501
00:18:16,847 --> 00:18:18,640
SETH: Jay.
Sucked up into the sky?
502
00:18:18,724 --> 00:18:20,267
Nobody got
sucked up in here.
503
00:18:20,350 --> 00:18:22,352
I got sucked off here.
504
00:18:22,853 --> 00:18:24,146
(LAUGHTER)
505
00:18:26,273 --> 00:18:27,816
No, okay, ask Seth.
He was...
506
00:18:27,900 --> 00:18:28,984
You were there.
Tell them.
507
00:18:29,067 --> 00:18:31,487
Seth, what the fuck's
he talking about?
508
00:18:33,155 --> 00:18:34,156
(CHUCKLES)
509
00:18:34,239 --> 00:18:37,159
I have no idea what he's
talking about honestly.
510
00:18:37,242 --> 00:18:39,995
Did anybody get
sucked up into the sky?
511
00:18:40,078 --> 00:18:41,121
SETH:
I didn't see anything.
512
00:18:41,205 --> 00:18:42,623
I don't know what
he's talking about.
513
00:18:42,706 --> 00:18:44,291
JAY: You were there with me.
What are you saying?
514
00:18:44,374 --> 00:18:47,336
All those people that were in the store
with us, they just fucking vanished.
515
00:18:47,419 --> 00:18:49,171
I didn't see blue light
sucking people up in the sky.
516
00:18:49,254 --> 00:18:51,632
You sound crazy, man. We
should just be lucky we're...
517
00:18:51,715 --> 00:18:52,758
It's not over!
(RUMBLING)
518
00:18:52,841 --> 00:18:54,009
SETH: It's okay. Just relax.
519
00:18:54,426 --> 00:18:58,639
Everyone, it's all right. Just a little tremor.
Party's still going.
520
00:18:58,722 --> 00:19:00,808
In-N-Out truck's
coming in 10 minutes.
521
00:19:00,891 --> 00:19:01,892
(ALL CHEERING)
522
00:19:01,975 --> 00:19:03,852
MAN: Yes.
JAMES: Animal style!
523
00:19:03,977 --> 00:19:05,604
Oh, my fuck!
(ALL SCREAMING)
524
00:19:05,729 --> 00:19:07,523
MAN: Let's go! Let's go! Let's go!
WOMAN: Move! Move!
525
00:19:07,606 --> 00:19:09,817
Move, move, move, move!
This place is safe!
526
00:19:09,900 --> 00:19:11,652
KEVIN:
This place is not safe!
527
00:19:11,735 --> 00:19:12,986
Craig,
where you going, man?
528
00:19:13,070 --> 00:19:14,863
It's a fucking eaflhquake! Fuck!
529
00:19:14,988 --> 00:19:16,782
Move, move, move, come on! Get
out of my way. Move, girl!
530
00:19:16,907 --> 00:19:19,076
JAMES: Oh, my God, Seth!
SETH: Oh, shit!
531
00:19:19,159 --> 00:19:20,577
JAMES: Seth.
What the fuck?
532
00:19:20,661 --> 00:19:23,997
JAMES: Don't go on the grass,
not everybody on the grass!
533
00:19:24,081 --> 00:19:25,415
(CROWD MURMURING)
534
00:19:34,508 --> 00:19:36,051
What the fuck?
535
00:19:36,134 --> 00:19:37,594
Oh, God!
536
00:19:37,636 --> 00:19:39,221
What the fuck is happening?
Paul!
537
00:19:39,304 --> 00:19:40,722
What's happening?
538
00:19:40,806 --> 00:19:43,517
All right, everybody,
listen up. Listen up.
539
00:19:43,600 --> 00:19:46,270
Who took my fucking
cell phone, man?
540
00:19:46,353 --> 00:19:48,939
Martin, empty your pockets!
What?
541
00:19:49,022 --> 00:19:51,441
I saw you in the bathroom, man!
Somebody dial my phone!
542
00:19:51,525 --> 00:19:53,360
Shut the fuck up!
It's unbelievable!
543
00:19:53,443 --> 00:19:56,738
It's unacceptable after all the
coke I've wasted on you people.
544
00:19:56,822 --> 00:19:57,865
I've thrown it away.
545
00:19:57,948 --> 00:19:59,241
I didn't take your
fucking cell phone.
546
00:19:59,283 --> 00:20:02,452
310... Whoa, whoa, whoa! Mike,
Mike, Mike, Mike, Mike, Mike...
547
00:20:03,078 --> 00:20:04,079
(CROWD GASPING)
548
00:20:04,162 --> 00:20:05,455
My face!
549
00:20:05,539 --> 00:20:07,749
What's happening to me?
What's happening?
550
00:20:07,833 --> 00:20:09,209
Oh, my God!
551
00:20:09,293 --> 00:20:10,377
(SCREAMING)
552
00:20:10,460 --> 00:20:11,962
(CROWD EXCLAIMING)
553
00:20:20,345 --> 00:20:22,055
(RING-TONE PLAYING)
554
00:20:22,139 --> 00:20:23,932
Oh, shit,
that's embarrassing.
555
00:20:24,516 --> 00:20:25,642
(CROWD SCREAMING)
556
00:20:37,863 --> 00:20:39,364
(SCREAMING)
557
00:20:42,326 --> 00:20:43,327
JAMES: Rihanna!
558
00:20:43,702 --> 00:20:45,370
(ALL SCREAMING)
559
00:20:49,875 --> 00:20:51,001
(GRUNTING)
560
00:20:51,084 --> 00:20:52,127
Please give me
your foot!
561
00:20:52,210 --> 00:20:53,587
Oh, my God!
562
00:20:56,506 --> 00:20:58,216
Craig, Craig, help me.
I'm losing my grip!
563
00:20:58,300 --> 00:20:59,635
It's too late for you!
You're already in the hole!
564
00:20:59,718 --> 00:21:00,761
What the fuck
are you talking about?
565
00:21:00,844 --> 00:21:01,887
CRAIG: Get the fuck
out of my way!
566
00:21:01,970 --> 00:21:03,305
(CROWD SCREAMS)
567
00:21:04,556 --> 00:21:05,849
Oh!
568
00:21:05,933 --> 00:21:06,934
Sorry.
569
00:21:07,142 --> 00:21:08,185
(SCREAMING)
570
00:21:08,268 --> 00:21:09,603
Karen!
571
00:21:09,686 --> 00:21:12,356
Seth, come on! Get in the house!
Come on, Seth!
572
00:21:15,525 --> 00:21:16,526
(SCREAMING)
573
00:21:16,610 --> 00:21:18,695
Oh, my God,
I'm gonna die!
574
00:21:19,071 --> 00:21:20,113
(GRUNTS)
575
00:21:20,781 --> 00:21:22,157
Martin!
576
00:21:22,240 --> 00:21:24,451
Oh, shit!
Kevin! Kevin!
577
00:21:24,534 --> 00:21:25,577
What the fuck?
578
00:21:25,661 --> 00:21:27,329
Geez, get the fuck
off me, Aziz!
579
00:21:27,579 --> 00:21:29,665
Ow, ow, ow!
580
00:21:30,290 --> 00:21:31,291
(SCREAMING)
581
00:21:31,375 --> 00:21:34,002
Fuck you, Kevin!
(SCREAMING)
582
00:21:34,086 --> 00:21:36,296
Oh, God, no, get your
fucking hands off me!
583
00:21:36,380 --> 00:21:37,631
Get your fucking...
584
00:21:37,714 --> 00:21:39,383
(SCREAMS)
585
00:21:41,259 --> 00:21:42,594
(SHOUTING)
586
00:21:43,720 --> 00:21:45,722
(MAN SCREAMS)
587
00:21:49,309 --> 00:21:51,311
No! (SCREAMS)
588
00:21:51,395 --> 00:21:53,480
Jay, I can't hold on
much longer.
589
00:21:53,563 --> 00:21:56,483
You have to reach out
and grab me. You hear?
590
00:21:56,566 --> 00:22:00,278
Okay, uh, you take my hand,
and I will swing you up.
591
00:22:00,362 --> 00:22:01,989
Are you sure? I'm gonna
give you my whole weight.
592
00:22:02,114 --> 00:22:03,490
I'm gonna reach for you, all right?
Yeah, yeah.
593
00:22:03,573 --> 00:22:05,325
Are you sure
you can do that?
594
00:22:05,409 --> 00:22:06,660
I can grab you
on three.
595
00:22:06,743 --> 00:22:08,328
One, two, three.
596
00:22:08,412 --> 00:22:09,413
(BOTH GRUNTING)
597
00:22:10,288 --> 00:22:11,498
(LAUGHS)
598
00:22:11,581 --> 00:22:12,582
All right, buddy.
599
00:22:12,666 --> 00:22:14,668
Now I'm gonna,
I'm gonna swing across.
600
00:22:14,751 --> 00:22:15,794
I got you, buddy-
601
00:22:15,877 --> 00:22:17,337
You're gonna hold
my weight, all of it.
602
00:22:17,421 --> 00:22:18,422
Okay, come on.
603
00:22:18,505 --> 00:22:20,507
You can hold on to my full weight?
I can do it.
604
00:22:20,590 --> 00:22:21,550
I don't want to die.
Okay.
605
00:22:21,633 --> 00:22:23,301
One, two...
Two, three.
606
00:22:23,802 --> 00:22:25,053
No!
(SCREAMS)
607
00:22:25,929 --> 00:22:29,099
No! No!
608
00:22:29,641 --> 00:22:31,435
(SCREAMING)
609
00:22:33,353 --> 00:22:35,397
(DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYING)
610
00:22:47,075 --> 00:22:48,618
(PANTING)
611
00:22:48,702 --> 00:22:51,413
(SIRENS WAILING IN DISTANCE)
612
00:22:51,496 --> 00:22:53,165
Oh, man.
613
00:22:54,916 --> 00:22:56,126
Fuck.
614
00:23:00,797 --> 00:23:02,549
(WAILING CONTINUES)
615
00:23:06,303 --> 00:23:07,596
Holy shit!
What happened?
616
00:23:07,679 --> 00:23:09,222
Jay, you're alive.
Jay.
617
00:23:09,306 --> 00:23:10,682
Oh, thank God, Jay.
I'm not dead yet.
618
00:23:10,766 --> 00:23:12,267
JAMES: I told you guys
not to go outside.
619
00:23:12,350 --> 00:23:13,393
What just happened?
620
00:23:13,477 --> 00:23:14,853
Jesus Christ, they are
all fucking dead.
621
00:23:14,936 --> 00:23:16,480
JAMES: I told you guys
not to run outside.
622
00:23:16,563 --> 00:23:17,564
(PANTING)
You all right?
623
00:23:17,647 --> 00:23:19,566
(SOBBING) I tried to save Aziz.
I tried.
624
00:23:19,649 --> 00:23:21,443
(SOBBING) You did your best, man.
I love you.
625
00:23:21,526 --> 00:23:23,820
Why the fuck did you
guys run out there?
626
00:23:23,904 --> 00:23:25,447
You know what, James,
can you lower your voice?
627
00:23:25,530 --> 00:23:26,740
You're freaking out Jay!
628
00:23:26,823 --> 00:23:28,658
Maybe I'm a little
freaked out, too!
629
00:23:28,742 --> 00:23:30,285
He's not as strong as you.
JAY: They all fell in.
630
00:23:30,410 --> 00:23:32,537
JAMES: Look at my house! JAY: I tried
to save them. They all fell in.
631
00:23:32,662 --> 00:23:35,248
(JONAH SHUSHING) Get your fucking hands off me.
Jonah, stop touching me.
632
00:23:35,332 --> 00:23:36,875
Can we get Jay
some water, please?
633
00:23:36,958 --> 00:23:38,168
Can we get him
some hydration?
634
00:23:38,210 --> 00:23:39,669
He needs to be hydrated. SETH:
The water's not working!
635
00:23:39,753 --> 00:23:41,254
Everyone just
runs out the door!
636
00:23:41,338 --> 00:23:42,589
My phone is dead.
637
00:23:42,672 --> 00:23:44,341
Guys, the fucking
lnternet's not working!
638
00:23:44,424 --> 00:23:46,301
Let's watch the TV.
Let's check the news.
639
00:23:46,384 --> 00:23:48,178
JAY:
Where is the TV?
640
00:23:48,261 --> 00:23:50,263
It's in the floor.
In the floor?
641
00:23:50,347 --> 00:23:52,099
CRAIG: Oh, that's dope.
JAMES: Yeah, cool, huh?
642
00:23:52,182 --> 00:23:53,183
That's really neat.
643
00:23:53,266 --> 00:23:54,684
That is impressive, James.
644
00:23:54,810 --> 00:23:56,895
The biggest earthquake
to ever hit Los...
645
00:23:56,978 --> 00:23:59,773
Officers urging people to stay
in their homes right now.
646
00:23:59,856 --> 00:24:01,858
And also reports of
looting and rioting
647
00:24:01,942 --> 00:24:02,943
are spreading
across the city.
648
00:24:03,026 --> 00:24:04,194
Riots.
649
00:24:04,277 --> 00:24:05,654
Police are pretty
much outnumbered
650
00:24:05,737 --> 00:24:07,781
as people are
turning to one another.
651
00:24:07,864 --> 00:24:09,616
Martial law has
now been declared.
652
00:24:09,699 --> 00:24:11,159
Air Force One
has gone down...
653
00:24:12,327 --> 00:24:15,205
Shit. It's gone, guys.
654
00:24:16,123 --> 00:24:19,459
(STAMMERS)
So I think we should...
655
00:24:19,543 --> 00:24:22,629
I think we should probably
go back to your place, eh?
656
00:24:22,712 --> 00:24:24,131
What are you
talking about, man?
657
00:24:24,214 --> 00:24:27,384
No, no way.
I'm not leaving here.
658
00:24:27,467 --> 00:24:30,846
I don't want to die
at James Franco's house.
659
00:24:31,346 --> 00:24:32,806
SETH: You heard the TV.
660
00:24:32,889 --> 00:24:36,560
The TV said stay here.
It said stay in your homes.
661
00:24:36,643 --> 00:24:39,729
We need to stay here until they
start rescuing people, okay?
662
00:24:39,813 --> 00:24:42,315
A huge earthquake happens.
Who do they rescue first?
663
00:24:42,399 --> 00:24:43,817
Actors.
SETH: Famous people.
664
00:24:43,900 --> 00:24:46,361
They'll get Clooney,
Sandra Bullock, me.
665
00:24:46,444 --> 00:24:48,196
If there's room,
you guys'll come.
666
00:24:48,280 --> 00:24:50,407
The point is, is that we're all
gonna get out of this first.
667
00:24:50,490 --> 00:24:51,491
(EXPLOSION THUNDERS)
668
00:24:51,575 --> 00:24:52,576
CRAIG:
What the hell was that?
669
00:24:52,659 --> 00:24:53,994
SETH: It's already going
crazy out there, guys.
670
00:24:54,077 --> 00:24:57,330
We can't leave. I'm not leaving, okay?
I'm a victim.
671
00:24:57,414 --> 00:25:00,250
I've had a victim's mentality my whole life.
People can smell it on me.
672
00:25:00,333 --> 00:25:02,169
When I was a kid,
I had man-titties.
673
00:25:02,252 --> 00:25:03,920
The bullies held me down,
they tittie-fucked me.
674
00:25:04,004 --> 00:25:05,338
That's what's happening
out there right now.
675
00:25:05,422 --> 00:25:06,673
That's right,
we are all soft.
676
00:25:06,756 --> 00:25:07,883
Yeah.
We are all soft!
677
00:25:07,966 --> 00:25:09,926
We are actors! We pretend
to be hard, man.
678
00:25:10,010 --> 00:25:11,845
JAMES: Yeah.
We soft as baby shit.
679
00:25:11,928 --> 00:25:14,514
As baby shit, soft as... Wait,
Craig, what are you doing, man?
680
00:25:14,598 --> 00:25:17,100
Hey, hey, what are you doing? What
are you doing to the painting, man?
681
00:25:17,184 --> 00:25:18,810
We got to board this shit up, man.
Board it up?
682
00:25:18,894 --> 00:25:20,312
We got to protect ourselves.
We don't know
683
00:25:20,437 --> 00:25:22,105
how long we gonna be in here.
Okay, chill.
684
00:25:22,189 --> 00:25:23,398
There's raccoons, and
bandits, and shit out there.
685
00:25:23,481 --> 00:25:24,941
This is Obey, man!
If you get out the way!
686
00:25:25,025 --> 00:25:27,360
This is my favorite fucking painting!
What are you doing, Craig?
687
00:25:27,444 --> 00:25:28,445
Guys, help.
688
00:25:28,528 --> 00:25:30,363
Help. Help. Get off.
689
00:25:30,447 --> 00:25:31,740
(HELICOPTER APPROACHING)
690
00:25:31,823 --> 00:25:33,033
Chill. Look.
691
00:25:33,116 --> 00:25:34,910
Helicopter!
Helicopter!
692
00:25:36,286 --> 00:25:40,040
The good guys are here. We're fine!
It's gonna be fine.
693
00:25:42,709 --> 00:25:43,835
(CRASHING)
694
00:25:44,294 --> 00:25:45,754
(SCREAMS) God damn!
695
00:25:45,837 --> 00:25:47,756
(ALL GASPING)
CRAIG: Oh! God damn!
696
00:25:48,173 --> 00:25:49,591
OW! Shit!
697
00:25:49,674 --> 00:25:50,675
You Okay?
698
00:25:50,759 --> 00:25:52,093
No, I'm not okay!
699
00:25:52,177 --> 00:25:54,262
Fuck your house, Franco!
700
00:25:54,387 --> 00:25:56,640
My house didn't do that! Aah!
701
00:25:57,682 --> 00:25:58,934
(SIZZLES)
Ow.
702
00:26:02,145 --> 00:26:05,106
You don't got a tool kit or nothing?
Just a toolbox?
703
00:26:05,190 --> 00:26:06,566
I don't know.
Look in there.
704
00:26:10,237 --> 00:26:12,113
Where's the edge
of this shit?
705
00:26:12,197 --> 00:26:14,324
SETH: Your thumb's
in my butthole, man.
706
00:26:14,658 --> 00:26:15,825
Whoa.
707
00:26:15,909 --> 00:26:17,577
Y'all need this dick?
708
00:26:17,661 --> 00:26:18,662
No, we're not using it.
709
00:26:18,745 --> 00:26:20,247
All right, I'm gonna
take it over here.
710
00:26:20,330 --> 00:26:22,666
JAMES: Careful with that dick.
Damn.
711
00:26:26,002 --> 00:26:27,379
It's heavy.
712
00:26:28,004 --> 00:26:31,174
There it is,
got that dick now.
713
00:26:31,258 --> 00:26:33,677
That dick is coming now.
714
00:26:34,219 --> 00:26:36,513
Yeah, got this big dick.
715
00:26:40,725 --> 00:26:42,143
JAMES: Whoa, whoa, whoa!
Hey, hey.
716
00:26:42,227 --> 00:26:43,812
What now?
Listen.
717
00:26:43,895 --> 00:26:46,940
Not the Rogen, all right?
Don't take him.
718
00:26:47,023 --> 00:26:48,066
Take me.
719
00:26:48,149 --> 00:26:51,611
We got 12 bottles of water,
56 beers, two vodkas,
720
00:26:51,695 --> 00:26:54,781
four whiskeys, six bottles
of wine, tequila, Nutella,
721
00:26:54,864 --> 00:26:58,576
cheese, pizza, eggs, bananas,
apples, bacon, steaks,
722
00:26:58,660 --> 00:27:02,580
pancake mix, CT Crunch,
milk, ketchup, a Milky Way,
723
00:27:02,664 --> 00:27:05,709
half ounce Sour Diesel, three and
a half grams Grand Master Kush,
724
00:27:05,792 --> 00:27:07,961
one ounce of 'shrooms,
15 pills of ecstasy,
725
00:27:08,044 --> 00:27:10,046
a porno mag,
a baseball bat,
726
00:27:10,130 --> 00:27:12,465
and the video camera
from the movie 27 Hours.
727
00:27:12,549 --> 00:27:14,050
127 Hours.
728
00:27:14,342 --> 00:27:15,802
Uh...
729
00:27:15,885 --> 00:27:17,679
127 Hours.
730
00:27:17,762 --> 00:27:20,974
And a functioning revolver
from the movie Flyboys.
731
00:27:21,057 --> 00:27:22,434
Old Faithful.
732
00:27:22,517 --> 00:27:23,852
Jesus.
Thing's real.
733
00:27:23,935 --> 00:27:25,729
No, I kept this from the movie.
Yeah.
734
00:27:25,812 --> 00:27:27,355
This is an actual revolver.
I see.
735
00:27:27,439 --> 00:27:28,481
Franco, that's
very uncomfortable.
736
00:27:28,565 --> 00:27:29,607
Could you put
that down, please?
737
00:27:29,691 --> 00:27:30,650
Loaded.
738
00:27:30,734 --> 00:27:32,110
JONAH: Love it.
Awesome.
739
00:27:32,235 --> 00:27:33,903
Can you just put the gun away?
I always keep my props.
740
00:27:33,987 --> 00:27:36,031
That's really cool.
Always keep my props.
741
00:27:36,114 --> 00:27:37,198
I know how to
handle it.
742
00:27:37,282 --> 00:27:38,783
He knows what he's doing.
I like this bit.
743
00:27:38,867 --> 00:27:40,285
I like it. I get it. Let me see.
744
00:27:40,368 --> 00:27:42,329
It's real. It's heavy.
Let me see it like that.
745
00:27:42,412 --> 00:27:43,997
God damn!
SETH: Come on, guys!
746
00:27:44,080 --> 00:27:45,165
You could kill...
JAMES: Careful.
747
00:27:45,248 --> 00:27:46,333
Bang,bang!
JAY: Jesus!
748
00:27:46,416 --> 00:27:47,709
Please, put it down!
Oh, fuck!
749
00:27:47,792 --> 00:27:49,836
Bang,bang,bang.
You're dead.
750
00:27:49,961 --> 00:27:52,005
Ihope you're fucking happy.
Pow, pow, pow.
751
00:27:52,088 --> 00:27:53,757
Stop... Guys, stop
fucking with the gun.
752
00:27:53,840 --> 00:27:55,342
Jesus!Jesus!
Pow, pow.
753
00:27:55,425 --> 00:27:56,426
It's a real gun!
Bang.
754
00:27:56,509 --> 00:27:57,510
It's so funny.
It's so funny.
755
00:27:57,594 --> 00:27:59,054
Guys, it's funny.
JAY: It's not funny!
756
00:27:59,137 --> 00:28:00,513
We're getting
sidetracked.
757
00:28:00,597 --> 00:28:01,890
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
758
00:28:01,973 --> 00:28:03,350
I'll just kill myself.
ALL: No!
759
00:28:03,433 --> 00:28:04,601
Don't do that, Jonah!
JAY: Jesus.
760
00:28:04,684 --> 00:28:05,685
Oh, no.
Jonah, give it back.
761
00:28:05,769 --> 00:28:07,354
I don't know! I don't know.
Don't do that.
762
00:28:07,437 --> 00:28:09,189
JAMES: Jonah.
I'm so...
763
00:28:09,272 --> 00:28:11,024
JAY: Oh, my God. Hey.
CRAIG: Oh, dude.
764
00:28:11,107 --> 00:28:12,609
JAY: Come on, no, no.
Don't. Jesus!
765
00:28:12,650 --> 00:28:14,194
Would you put the thing down?
The whole...
766
00:28:14,277 --> 00:28:15,570
I'm trying to
have some fun, man.
767
00:28:15,653 --> 00:28:17,322
Okay, okay, Jesus.
768
00:28:17,405 --> 00:28:19,574
JONAH: Look, just because a bunch
of people fell into a hole outside
769
00:28:19,657 --> 00:28:20,992
doesn't mean we can't
have some fun.
770
00:28:21,076 --> 00:28:23,703
We're a bunch of best friends hanging out.
It's like a sleepover.
771
00:28:23,787 --> 00:28:26,164
Okay, food. How are we
gonna deal with this?
772
00:28:26,998 --> 00:28:28,041
Um...
773
00:28:28,124 --> 00:28:29,334
Can I have that
Milky Way?
774
00:28:29,417 --> 00:28:30,835
No, you can't have
the Milky Way.
775
00:28:30,960 --> 00:28:32,087
That's my Milky Way.
There's a bunch... What?
776
00:28:32,170 --> 00:28:33,546
I went out
this morning,
777
00:28:33,630 --> 00:28:36,716
specifically bought this Milky
Way to eat after my party.
778
00:28:36,800 --> 00:28:37,801
That's weird.
779
00:28:37,884 --> 00:28:39,302
It's not weird.
It's my special food.
780
00:28:39,386 --> 00:28:41,054
I like it. Back me
up on that, Seth.
781
00:28:41,137 --> 00:28:42,389
I don't think you should get
the whole Milky Way.
782
00:28:42,472 --> 00:28:43,515
I want some
of the Milky Way.
783
00:28:43,598 --> 00:28:46,309
I'd be pretty bummed if I don't at
least get a bite of the Milky Way.
784
00:28:46,393 --> 00:28:47,435
Oh! Now Craig wants
a bite of the Milky Way.
785
00:28:47,519 --> 00:28:49,938
Yeah, I want a bite of the Milky Way.
It's a fucking Milky Way.
786
00:28:50,021 --> 00:28:52,732
A fifth of everything is
what's fair and reasonable.
787
00:28:52,816 --> 00:28:54,609
Everyone gets
a fifth of everything.
788
00:28:54,692 --> 00:28:56,236
I want one-fifth
of your T-shirt!
789
00:28:56,319 --> 00:28:58,071
I want the bottom part,
the belly.
790
00:28:58,154 --> 00:28:59,614
I'm not sporting
a crop top in your house.
791
00:28:59,697 --> 00:29:01,241
I'll cut that shit off
and make a headband.
792
00:29:01,324 --> 00:29:03,034
You couldn't
handle my midriff.
793
00:29:03,118 --> 00:29:05,954
Guys, the only issue is,
I kind of need the Milky Way.
794
00:29:06,037 --> 00:29:07,205
For fuck's sake.
795
00:29:07,288 --> 00:29:08,581
No, for real,
I have low blood sugar,
796
00:29:08,665 --> 00:29:09,666
and if my endorphins
drop too low,
797
00:29:09,749 --> 00:29:10,750
I'm gonna be
a nightmare to be around.
798
00:29:10,834 --> 00:29:12,752
What? Your LBS starts acting up,
799
00:29:12,836 --> 00:29:14,796
you can have a finger
scoop of Nutella, okay?
800
00:29:14,879 --> 00:29:17,298
One finger scoop of Nutella.
Fair.
801
00:29:17,382 --> 00:29:19,008
I'm going to bed.
802
00:29:19,092 --> 00:29:20,510
Jesus fucking...
803
00:29:20,593 --> 00:29:22,178
Don't touch that
Milky Way, Jonah.
804
00:29:22,262 --> 00:29:23,555
Night, James.
805
00:29:24,472 --> 00:29:27,308
(GUNFIRE SOUNDS)
(EXPLOSIONS IN DISTANCE)
806
00:29:28,351 --> 00:29:30,937
MAN: (IN DISTANCE)
Oh, God, no!
807
00:29:31,771 --> 00:29:33,064
(WHISPERING) Fuck.
808
00:29:35,233 --> 00:29:36,234
(HELICOPTER APPROACHING)
809
00:29:36,317 --> 00:29:37,986
(EXPLOSION NEARBY)
810
00:29:42,866 --> 00:29:44,534
(GUNFIRE CONTINUES)
811
00:29:45,243 --> 00:29:47,078
(FOOTSTEPS THUDDING)
812
00:30:01,885 --> 00:30:04,304
Hey-
Hey-
813
00:30:04,804 --> 00:30:06,222
I'm gonna
sleep with you.
814
00:30:06,264 --> 00:30:07,640
What? I'm gonna sleep with you.
815
00:30:07,724 --> 00:30:08,766
It's too scary
to sleep alone.
816
00:30:08,850 --> 00:30:09,851
But this is
my little area.
817
00:30:09,934 --> 00:30:11,561
Well, I'm invading
your little area.
818
00:30:11,644 --> 00:30:14,564
I'm sorry, but I'm
too scared, okay?
819
00:30:14,647 --> 00:30:15,648
Are you mad at me, man?
820
00:30:15,732 --> 00:30:17,484
If I was pissed at you,
821
00:30:17,567 --> 00:30:19,819
I'm sure it would
have something to do
822
00:30:19,903 --> 00:30:21,488
with the fact that
I had no interest
823
00:30:21,571 --> 00:30:24,574
in coming to
this house socially,
824
00:30:24,657 --> 00:30:27,494
and now,
lam barricaded in here
825
00:30:27,577 --> 00:30:30,538
with a bunch of people
that I really hate.
826
00:30:30,914 --> 00:30:32,665
Maybe this was
meant to be.
827
00:30:32,749 --> 00:30:36,002
Maybe this horrible, horrible,
deadly earthquake happened
828
00:30:36,085 --> 00:30:38,379
so we could become closer
as a group of friends.
829
00:30:38,463 --> 00:30:42,050
I don't need a group. I'm like DMX, man.
I'm a lone wolf.
830
00:30:42,133 --> 00:30:43,593
DMX isn't a lone wolf.
831
00:30:44,052 --> 00:30:45,762
DMX has
the Ruff Ryder crew.
832
00:30:45,845 --> 00:30:48,139
You can't stop, drop,
and open up shop alone.
833
00:30:48,223 --> 00:30:52,352
You need people to help you in an
earthquake disastery situation.
834
00:30:52,435 --> 00:30:56,356
It was something else.
It was Judgment Day.
835
00:30:56,439 --> 00:30:57,815
Like Terminator 2?
836
00:30:57,899 --> 00:31:00,151
No, not like Terminator 2.
For God's sakes.
837
00:31:00,235 --> 00:31:02,028
Like Skynet?
You think this is Skynet?
838
00:31:02,111 --> 00:31:03,363
Like, Skynet went live?
No.
839
00:31:03,446 --> 00:31:05,198
Will you please
stop saying "Skynet"?
840
00:31:05,281 --> 00:31:07,408
Well, you're the one
that said Judgment Day.
841
00:31:07,492 --> 00:31:09,077
The biblical
Judgment Day.
842
00:31:09,160 --> 00:31:10,286
(BLOWS RASPBERRY)
843
00:31:10,411 --> 00:31:12,205
What? That's crazy. It's just...
844
00:31:12,288 --> 00:31:13,498
You fucking heathen.
845
00:31:13,581 --> 00:31:14,582
Okay, here's the thing.
846
00:31:14,666 --> 00:31:16,918
Let's say for a second
there was blue light
847
00:31:17,001 --> 00:31:18,545
sucking people
up into the sky.
848
00:31:18,628 --> 00:31:22,131
That means that we were not
awesome enough to go to heaven.
849
00:31:22,465 --> 00:31:24,551
(FOOTSTEPS THUDDING)
Shit! Shit.
850
00:31:29,305 --> 00:31:31,099
What y'all doing?
851
00:31:31,808 --> 00:31:32,934
Fuck you, Craig.
852
00:31:33,017 --> 00:31:34,852
I'm scared.
It's scary by myself.
853
00:31:34,936 --> 00:31:36,563
It's way better
with more people.
854
00:31:36,980 --> 00:31:37,981
I'm gonna
come down here.
855
00:31:38,064 --> 00:31:40,525
SETH: Oh, yeah, good, yeah.
Get in here, man.
856
00:31:40,608 --> 00:31:41,568
Get right in there.
857
00:31:41,651 --> 00:31:43,236
So, you're gonna...
858
00:31:43,319 --> 00:31:44,737
Right here.
Right here.
859
00:31:44,821 --> 00:31:47,448
I feel better, actually.
I like that.
860
00:31:49,075 --> 00:31:50,827
It's better with
more people.
861
00:31:50,910 --> 00:31:51,911
Hey, guys...
862
00:31:51,995 --> 00:31:54,080
JAY: Jesus Christ.
SETH: Jesus!
863
00:31:54,163 --> 00:31:56,624
Sorry. Franco has this
crazy open floor plan.
864
00:31:56,708 --> 00:31:58,626
I can hear every word
you guys are saying.
865
00:31:58,710 --> 00:32:01,045
I might as well hang with
you guys if that's cool.
866
00:32:01,129 --> 00:32:02,755
Nice.
Coming in hot.
867
00:32:02,839 --> 00:32:04,424
I gonna grab
a blanket from you.
868
00:32:04,507 --> 00:32:05,842
Give me that blanket.
869
00:32:05,925 --> 00:32:07,677
Get in the middle of it.
That's good.
870
00:32:07,760 --> 00:32:10,013
That's it. It feels so
much more safe now, guys.
871
00:32:10,096 --> 00:32:11,222
It's nice here.
872
00:32:11,306 --> 00:32:12,682
Should we spoon it?
Yeah, you want to?
873
00:32:12,765 --> 00:32:13,891
No!
Want to go...
874
00:32:13,975 --> 00:32:14,976
Dick to butt?
No.
875
00:32:15,059 --> 00:32:16,102
My butt to you
and then Jay.
876
00:32:16,185 --> 00:32:18,021
I don't want to butt
to dick to anything.
877
00:32:18,104 --> 00:32:19,355
Are you docking into me?
You're doing tip to me?
878
00:32:19,439 --> 00:32:20,440
Or what
are you doing?
879
00:32:20,523 --> 00:32:21,608
Should we go butt to
butt or dick to...
880
00:32:21,691 --> 00:32:22,692
Seth and I are
gonna go ass to ass.
881
00:32:22,775 --> 00:32:23,943
Do you want to go
front to front?
882
00:32:24,027 --> 00:32:26,112
No, I'm fine
just going dicks up.
883
00:32:26,195 --> 00:32:27,280
Dicks up?
884
00:32:27,363 --> 00:32:28,823
I think I'm going dick to ass.
You know what?
885
00:32:28,906 --> 00:32:30,950
I'm going
Scarf ace-style.
886
00:32:31,034 --> 00:32:32,285
Both of you guys.
Wait, yeah.
887
00:32:32,368 --> 00:32:33,536
There we go.
Yeah.
888
00:32:33,620 --> 00:32:34,621
This is the best way.
889
00:32:34,704 --> 00:32:35,788
Good night, boys.
890
00:32:35,872 --> 00:32:38,249
Good night.
Good night.
891
00:32:38,333 --> 00:32:39,542
Good night, guys.
892
00:32:39,626 --> 00:32:41,377
Night, my sweet guys.
Good night.
893
00:32:41,461 --> 00:32:42,545
CRAIG:
Sweet dreams, fellas.
894
00:32:44,505 --> 00:32:46,341
(EXPLOSIONS RUMBLING)
895
00:32:48,885 --> 00:32:50,637
(WHEN THE SHIT GOES DOWN
PLAYING)
896
00:33:08,738 --> 00:33:11,115
♪ Livin' on fat pockets
on flat wit tha gat
897
00:33:11,199 --> 00:33:13,660
♪ Rollin' around
a nine deuce Cadillac
898
00:33:13,743 --> 00:33:16,037
♪ Still got my homies
to watch my back
899
00:33:16,120 --> 00:33:18,498
♪ And they'll smoke ya ass
if you wanna come and chat
900
00:33:18,581 --> 00:33:21,417
♪ Why wallow when you come to roll on?
I put the clip
901
00:33:21,501 --> 00:33:23,544
♪ And before
I bring ya ass on
902
00:33:23,628 --> 00:33:25,797
♪ Kickin' dust on your head
like I bust
903
00:33:25,880 --> 00:33:27,799
I My grip surrounded,
I'm about...
904
00:33:27,882 --> 00:33:29,217
Fuck,yeah.
905
00:33:29,300 --> 00:33:32,095
♪ When tha shit goes down
ya better be ready
906
00:33:32,178 --> 00:33:33,471
I When tha shit goes down
907
00:33:33,554 --> 00:33:37,100
♪ When tha shit goes down
ya better be ready
908
00:33:37,183 --> 00:33:38,226
I When tha shit goes down
909
00:33:38,309 --> 00:33:41,604
♪ When tha shit goes down
ya better be ready
910
00:33:41,688 --> 00:33:43,481
I Ya better be ready 4'
911
00:33:52,949 --> 00:33:54,742
(TOOTHBRUSH BUZZING)
912
00:34:02,250 --> 00:34:04,627
Franco!
Good morning, sunshine.
913
00:34:04,711 --> 00:34:05,962
Guys! Guys! Wake up!
914
00:34:06,045 --> 00:34:08,840
Danny's alive! He's eating
all the fucking food!
915
00:34:08,923 --> 00:34:10,883
No!
Danny, man, don't.
916
00:34:11,592 --> 00:34:12,802
Danny!
917
00:34:13,636 --> 00:34:15,930
No, it's cool, man. I fucking
made this for you guys.
918
00:34:16,013 --> 00:34:17,014
Stop eating!
919
00:34:17,098 --> 00:34:18,182
Don't eat another
piece of bacon.
920
00:34:18,266 --> 00:34:19,392
Guys, just chill
the fuck out, okay?
921
00:34:19,475 --> 00:34:22,437
I'm sure the Green Goblin can
fucking afford some more bacon.
922
00:34:22,520 --> 00:34:24,814
Dude, that shit's supposed to
last us till we get rescued!
923
00:34:25,273 --> 00:34:28,317
Wait a second.
I know what happened.
924
00:34:28,401 --> 00:34:30,987
You guys dropped acid,
didn't you? Mmm-hmm.
925
00:34:31,237 --> 00:34:33,281
Craig doesn't have any pants on.
He got fucking wild.
926
00:34:33,364 --> 00:34:35,783
Probably danced, sweated
all over the place.
927
00:34:35,867 --> 00:34:37,160
You got white shit all
over your mouth, Franco.
928
00:34:37,243 --> 00:34:38,536
You probably sucked
somebody's dick.
929
00:34:38,619 --> 00:34:41,414
Jonah over here probably
watched and jerked off.
930
00:34:41,497 --> 00:34:43,624
Jay, I didn't even know you were in town.
Good to see you.
931
00:34:43,708 --> 00:34:46,085
Danny, we're not on acid. We
didn't suck each other's dicks!
932
00:34:46,169 --> 00:34:48,880
James Franco didn't suck
any dick last night?
933
00:34:48,963 --> 00:34:50,506
Now I know
y'all are tripping.
934
00:34:50,590 --> 00:34:52,425
You actually not know
what happened last night?
935
00:34:52,508 --> 00:34:55,094
Daniel, you may want to
stay seated for a second.
936
00:34:55,178 --> 00:34:57,054
Some really
messed-up stuff happened,
937
00:34:57,138 --> 00:34:59,348
and there were
a lot of fatalities.
938
00:34:59,432 --> 00:35:02,101
Oh, really? You're putting
your serious voice on, Jonah?
939
00:35:02,185 --> 00:35:04,604
Okay, tell me about
these "fatalities."
940
00:35:04,687 --> 00:35:07,774
Dude, Segel's dead, Krumholtz
is dead, Michael Cera's dead.
941
00:35:07,857 --> 00:35:11,527
Guess if Michael Cera's gone, it's
not a total loss, huh? (LAUGHS)
942
00:35:11,611 --> 00:35:13,112
JAY: Jesus, Danny.
Michael Cera's dead.
943
00:35:13,196 --> 00:35:14,906
What?
It's not like that.
944
00:35:14,989 --> 00:35:16,699
It's not funny, man.
It's really not funny.
945
00:35:16,783 --> 00:35:17,784
Seth, that's
a better performance
946
00:35:17,867 --> 00:35:19,452
than you've given in
your last six movies.
947
00:35:19,535 --> 00:35:21,245
Where the tuck was that
"m Green Hornet, huh'?
948
00:35:21,329 --> 00:35:23,164
Jonah, you're fucking
sucking balls.
949
00:35:23,247 --> 00:35:24,832
You're an Academy Award
nominated person.
950
00:35:24,916 --> 00:35:27,293
You need to be fucking
selling that shit, dude.
951
00:35:27,376 --> 00:35:29,420
(DRAMATICALLY) "Fatalities.
There were some fatalities."
952
00:35:30,129 --> 00:35:31,172
Fatalities.
953
00:35:32,048 --> 00:35:33,716
Okay, now that was good.
That was good.
954
00:35:33,800 --> 00:35:35,802
Does it seem like
we're fucking joking?
955
00:35:35,885 --> 00:35:38,429
Hey,hey,hey! What the
fuck you eating, man?
956
00:35:38,554 --> 00:35:41,349
Spit it out your mouth. Give me the bacon!
(GUYS GROANING)
957
00:35:42,225 --> 00:35:44,352
(THUDDING)
(GLASS SHATTERING)
958
00:35:47,814 --> 00:35:49,023
(WHISPERING) Shit.
959
00:35:49,899 --> 00:35:51,192
Shit, what do we do?
960
00:35:51,275 --> 00:35:53,110
CRAIG: Shoot 'em!
Shoot 'em! Shoot 'em!
961
00:35:53,319 --> 00:35:54,904
(THUDDING CONTINUES)
962
00:35:55,738 --> 00:35:57,240
(GLASS SHATTERING)
963
00:35:58,074 --> 00:35:59,116
JAMES: Should I shoot?
964
00:35:59,242 --> 00:36:01,285
JAY: Shut up, Franco! CRAIG:
Shoot the door, Franco!
965
00:36:01,953 --> 00:36:02,995
Oh, God!
966
00:36:03,079 --> 00:36:05,665
Did you not hear me knocking out here?
I've been knocking forever.
967
00:36:05,748 --> 00:36:07,625
Please! Please!
You've got to let me in!
968
00:36:08,668 --> 00:36:10,837
Hang on a second.
What?
969
00:36:10,920 --> 00:36:13,381
(WHISPERING) Guys, I know
it sounds really weird,
970
00:36:13,464 --> 00:36:15,925
but I don't think
we should let him in.
971
00:36:16,217 --> 00:36:17,176
Why not?
972
00:36:17,260 --> 00:36:18,970
Yeah, why not? I can
hear you, by the way.
973
00:36:19,053 --> 00:36:20,680
I'm sorry. We just
don't know you, man.
974
00:36:20,763 --> 00:36:24,183
You could be like, a looter, or
a rapist, or a tittie-fucker.
975
00:36:24,267 --> 00:36:25,601
Like, I'm sorry.
976
00:36:25,685 --> 00:36:28,521
Look, guys, we just boarded up this
whole house to keep everyone out,
977
00:36:28,604 --> 00:36:31,148
and the first guy comes to the
door, we're gonna let him in?
978
00:36:31,232 --> 00:36:32,775
I mean, how do we know
we can trust this guy?
979
00:36:32,859 --> 00:36:35,611
I want to live! Things
have gone crazy out here!
980
00:36:35,695 --> 00:36:38,906
(JABBERING GOOFILY) "Fucking crazy
out here!" This guy fucking sucks.
981
00:36:38,990 --> 00:36:40,032
What if he's the rapist?
982
00:36:40,116 --> 00:36:41,242
Man, even if he
is a rapist,
983
00:36:41,325 --> 00:36:43,119
he can't rape all of us.
Yeah! No! So I'm not...
984
00:36:43,202 --> 00:36:44,787
I'm not a rapist! You
want to tittie-fuck us?
985
00:36:44,871 --> 00:36:47,623
If you want me to tittie-fuck you, I will!
So good! You'll love it.
986
00:36:47,707 --> 00:36:49,000
Seth, back me up, please.
987
00:36:49,083 --> 00:36:51,419
We can't just leave him out there to die.
Are you crazy?
988
00:36:51,502 --> 00:36:53,462
What do you want to do? I'll
do whatever you want to do.
989
00:36:53,546 --> 00:36:54,630
Let's vote on it.
990
00:36:54,714 --> 00:36:56,507
Yeah, I fucking
vote you let me in.
991
00:36:56,591 --> 00:36:58,050
Here's my vote.
Fuck all of you.
992
00:36:58,134 --> 00:36:59,594
I'm letting him in.
This is boring.
993
00:37:00,469 --> 00:37:01,470
There's something out here!
994
00:37:01,554 --> 00:37:02,889
(CREATURE GROW LS';
995
00:37:04,140 --> 00:37:05,975
(ALL SCREAMING)
996
00:37:07,643 --> 00:37:09,729
This is real!
This is fucking real!
997
00:37:10,396 --> 00:37:11,564
God damn it!
998
00:37:11,647 --> 00:37:13,065
(CLAMORING)
999
00:37:14,525 --> 00:37:16,152
(HIGH-PITCHED SCREAMING)
1000
00:37:16,319 --> 00:37:17,862
(ALL SCREAMING AND CLAMORING)
1001
00:37:25,411 --> 00:37:26,829
You guys!
1002
00:37:26,913 --> 00:37:28,331
This man was alive
a few seconds ago.
1003
00:37:28,414 --> 00:37:29,916
We can't play soccer
with his head!
1004
00:37:29,999 --> 00:37:31,375
JAMES: Pick it up, Jonah!
1005
00:37:31,459 --> 00:37:32,460
(GROANS)
1006
00:37:33,002 --> 00:37:34,420
SETH: What the fuck
is going on?
1007
00:37:34,503 --> 00:37:36,088
He blinked at me.
1008
00:37:36,172 --> 00:37:38,299
He blinked at my face.
Seth, put it over there.
1009
00:37:38,382 --> 00:37:39,383
(WHIMPERING)
1010
00:37:39,675 --> 00:37:40,885
Oh, my God!
1011
00:37:40,968 --> 00:37:42,219
I got it.
I got it, guys.
1012
00:37:42,303 --> 00:37:44,680
There's blood
all over my floor!
1013
00:37:44,764 --> 00:37:46,098
JONAH: Time to relax
for a second.
1014
00:37:46,182 --> 00:37:48,976
Okay, someone should
look out the hole.
1015
00:37:49,060 --> 00:37:50,102
I ain't looking
out that hole!
1016
00:37:50,186 --> 00:37:52,229
Last person looked through that
hole got his head chopped off!
1017
00:37:52,313 --> 00:37:56,525
Wait, wait, wait, wait. Whatever is
out there might still be out there.
1018
00:37:57,026 --> 00:37:58,444
(SHUSHING)
1019
00:37:58,527 --> 00:38:00,738
(WHISPERING) Okay, I know, I know.
Come on. Come on. Come on.
1020
00:38:01,822 --> 00:38:05,034
JAY: Oh, God.
Oh, God. Oh, God.
1021
00:38:06,661 --> 00:38:08,371
There's a lookout!
1022
00:38:14,210 --> 00:38:16,337
Jesus Christ! Look, there's a
huge fucking hole down there!
1023
00:38:16,420 --> 00:38:18,214
What the fuck is this?
1024
00:38:18,881 --> 00:38:20,299
Where's the thing
that killed the guy?
1025
00:38:20,383 --> 00:38:21,467
I don't know.
1026
00:38:21,550 --> 00:38:22,718
How'd his head
fall off?
1027
00:38:22,802 --> 00:38:24,053
And where's
the rest of him?
1028
00:38:28,140 --> 00:38:29,225
(BEEP S)
1029
00:38:30,601 --> 00:38:31,894
Hi.
1030
00:38:31,978 --> 00:38:33,646
This is James Franco,
1031
00:38:35,356 --> 00:38:37,858
in my house,
in my library.
1032
00:38:37,942 --> 00:38:41,362
We've been stuck here
for about 24 hours.
1033
00:38:41,445 --> 00:38:43,823
Danny McBride is here.
1034
00:38:43,906 --> 00:38:45,324
I didn't even
invite him to my party,
1035
00:38:45,408 --> 00:38:47,994
but he came and passed
out in the bathtub,
1036
00:38:48,077 --> 00:38:51,163
and I got to say it's, like,
typical fucking McBride.
1037
00:38:51,247 --> 00:38:55,376
Like, I've been feeling really
weird about him lately.
1038
00:38:55,459 --> 00:38:58,421
Like, I don't really know if I
want to be friends with him,
1039
00:38:58,504 --> 00:39:02,341
and then he fucking
showed up at my party,
1040
00:39:02,425 --> 00:39:07,054
and now, we're stuck here with
him in disaster lockdown, so...
1041
00:39:08,264 --> 00:39:09,306
(KNOCKS)
1042
00:39:10,266 --> 00:39:11,559
What up?
What's going on?
1043
00:39:11,642 --> 00:39:13,060
Hey, Danny.
What's up, man?
1044
00:39:13,144 --> 00:39:15,646
Not much. What are you doing?
What is this?
1045
00:39:15,730 --> 00:39:18,190
Oh, it's just
a video confessional.
1046
00:39:24,780 --> 00:39:26,282
Fuck that dude.
1047
00:39:27,033 --> 00:39:28,784
JAMES: Earthquakes cause tsunamis.
SETH: Yes.
1048
00:39:28,868 --> 00:39:31,287
JAMES: Tsunamis cause
other tsunamis, disaster.
1049
00:39:31,370 --> 00:39:33,372
I mean, for all we know, the fucking
Lakers could have just won,
1050
00:39:33,456 --> 00:39:34,832
and that's the reason
why all this is happening.
1051
00:39:34,915 --> 00:39:36,876
Hole in Franco's front yard?
Sinkhole.
1052
00:39:36,959 --> 00:39:40,337
Every single time I turn on the
news, sinkhole in South America.
1053
00:39:40,421 --> 00:39:42,048
Bunch of South Americans getting
sucked into the ground.
1054
00:39:42,131 --> 00:39:43,549
Sinkhole de Mayo.
Sinkhole de Mayo.
1055
00:39:43,632 --> 00:39:44,675
That's why it's
named that,
1056
00:39:44,759 --> 00:39:46,343
because sinkholes happen
in the summertime.
1057
00:39:46,427 --> 00:39:50,431
It's not wildfires. It's not earthquakes.
It's not sinkholes.
1058
00:39:50,514 --> 00:39:51,640
I think I know
what it is.
1059
00:39:51,724 --> 00:39:52,725
Let's hear it.
1060
00:39:53,642 --> 00:39:55,936
I think
it's the Apocalypse.
1061
00:39:56,228 --> 00:39:57,480
What?
(CHUCKLING)
1062
00:39:59,065 --> 00:40:03,360
I'm serious, boys. It's all in
here, in the Book of Revelations.
1063
00:40:03,444 --> 00:40:04,403
You took my Bible?
1064
00:40:04,487 --> 00:40:05,488
Well, just hear me out,
1065
00:40:05,571 --> 00:40:06,781
and you tell me that
what I'm describing
1066
00:40:06,864 --> 00:40:09,658
isn't what's going on right now.
(CLEARS THROAT)
1067
00:40:10,034 --> 00:40:13,412
"And the skies shall open up, and the
light of the Lord shall shine down,
1068
00:40:13,496 --> 00:40:16,248
"and those of good heart shall be
brought into my kingdom of heaven."
1069
00:40:16,332 --> 00:40:20,711
That's the Rapture, those are the
gigantic beams of blue light.
1070
00:40:20,795 --> 00:40:23,130
"And there will be a great
mountain burning in fire."
1071
00:40:23,214 --> 00:40:26,634
I mean, the Hollywood Hills are
literally engulfed in flames
1072
00:40:26,717 --> 00:40:28,135
as we sit here right now.
1073
00:40:28,219 --> 00:40:30,763
The Hollywood Hills ain't no mountain.
It's a hill.
1074
00:40:30,846 --> 00:40:32,056
Takes about 10 minutes
to get across
1075
00:40:32,139 --> 00:40:33,265
that motherfucker
with no traffic.
1076
00:40:33,349 --> 00:40:34,558
Goldwater.
I take Laurel Canyon.
1077
00:40:34,642 --> 00:40:35,601
Cahuenga.
Cahuenga.
1078
00:40:35,684 --> 00:40:37,561
I usually zip down Barham. Boys,
can I just fucking finish?
1079
00:40:37,645 --> 00:40:38,938
CRAIG:
I love Laurel Canyon.
1080
00:40:39,021 --> 00:40:42,858
"And out of the pit rose a great
red dragon having seven heads,
1081
00:40:42,942 --> 00:40:45,694
"that old serpent
called the devil and Satan,
1082
00:40:45,778 --> 00:40:48,656
"which deceiveth
the whole world,
1083
00:40:48,739 --> 00:40:51,283
"was released
onto the earth."
1084
00:40:52,159 --> 00:40:54,578
I love that dude. He's from
Where the Wild Things Are.
1085
00:40:54,662 --> 00:40:55,663
It's a load of bullshit.
1086
00:40:55,746 --> 00:40:56,789
It's not bullshit.
1087
00:40:56,872 --> 00:40:58,165
JAMES: Want to know
something else, Jay?
1088
00:40:58,249 --> 00:40:59,333
If this is
the end of the world,
1089
00:40:59,416 --> 00:41:01,001
and all the
good people died,
1090
00:41:01,085 --> 00:41:05,297
what you're saying is Seth,
me, Jonah, Craig and Danny
1091
00:41:05,381 --> 00:41:06,382
are a bunch of assholes.
1092
00:41:06,465 --> 00:41:08,634
I'm straight-up
lovable, son.
1093
00:41:08,717 --> 00:41:12,471
And if this really
is the Apocalypse,
1094
00:41:12,555 --> 00:41:13,597
you're here, too.
1095
00:41:14,223 --> 00:41:17,560
So, that means you're just
as shitty as the rest of us.
1096
00:41:18,435 --> 00:41:19,770
Doesn't feel
too good, does it?
1097
00:41:30,239 --> 00:41:32,825
Hey, guys.
I'm going to sleep now.
1098
00:41:32,908 --> 00:41:34,285
Nobody come in here
and bother me.
1099
00:41:34,910 --> 00:41:35,911
Go fish.
1100
00:41:35,995 --> 00:41:37,663
Put it back
inside of here.
1101
00:41:37,746 --> 00:41:39,665
Do you know what it is? Yeah.
1102
00:41:39,748 --> 00:41:41,959
Now you ask me for
something that you need.
1103
00:41:42,042 --> 00:41:43,460
DAN NY: First bit.
1104
00:41:43,544 --> 00:41:44,837
SETH: You're not
cutting it all?
1105
00:41:44,920 --> 00:41:47,631
That's smart. You're
divvying it up first.
1106
00:41:47,923 --> 00:41:49,758
This is like, Fruyere or some shit.
That's me.
1107
00:41:49,842 --> 00:41:50,885
Come on, Danny!
1108
00:41:50,926 --> 00:41:52,261
You licked your finger.
Come on, man.
1109
00:41:53,220 --> 00:41:54,513
DANNY: If they're all
equal, what does it matter?
1110
00:41:54,597 --> 00:41:55,973
CRAIG: Keep your hands
and fingers off.
1111
00:41:56,056 --> 00:41:57,016
Seth?
Yeah.
1112
00:41:57,099 --> 00:41:58,809
Can I talk to you for a second?
Yeah, yeah.
1113
00:41:58,893 --> 00:42:00,269
Yeah, no shit.
1114
00:42:00,603 --> 00:42:01,854
(SIGHS)
1115
00:42:02,980 --> 00:42:05,149
Here.
Off the menu, my man.
1116
00:42:06,442 --> 00:42:08,527
Holy shit, man.
Where did you get these?
1117
00:42:08,611 --> 00:42:12,114
Hey, what's cheese without a few crackers?
Know what I'm saying?
1118
00:42:12,198 --> 00:42:14,074
Hide it.
Okay.
1119
00:42:16,285 --> 00:42:17,703
'Cause we're a team.
1120
00:42:17,786 --> 00:42:18,871
Okay.
1121
00:42:18,954 --> 00:42:20,831
Freaks forever, brother.
1122
00:42:22,166 --> 00:42:24,126
Let's do all the drugs.
1123
00:42:24,210 --> 00:42:26,045
I don't really want to.
1124
00:42:26,128 --> 00:42:28,380
Should have thought of that before
you drank a can full of ecstasy.
1125
00:42:28,464 --> 00:42:29,465
(SPITTING)
1126
00:42:29,548 --> 00:42:30,633
What?
1127
00:42:30,758 --> 00:42:32,676
(GANGNAM STYLE PLAYING)
1128
00:42:32,801 --> 00:42:34,136
♪ Gangnam style
1129
00:42:35,596 --> 00:42:39,183
♪ Op, op, op, op, oppan
Gangnam style
1130
00:42:41,769 --> 00:42:42,728
♪ Gangnam style
1131
00:42:42,811 --> 00:42:46,440
♪ Op, op, op, op, oppan
Gangnam style
1132
00:42:46,523 --> 00:42:48,275
I Eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh
1133
00:42:48,359 --> 00:42:51,737
♪ Eh, sexy lady
1134
00:42:51,820 --> 00:42:53,656
♪ Op, OP, 0P» 0p
1135
00:42:53,739 --> 00:42:55,950
I Eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh
1136
00:42:56,033 --> 00:42:57,159
♪ Oppan Gangnam style a'
1137
00:42:57,826 --> 00:42:59,411
(PAPER PLANES PLAYING)
1138
00:43:05,668 --> 00:43:08,420
♪ I fly like paper,
get high like planes
1139
00:43:08,504 --> 00:43:10,965
♪ If you catch me at the
border I got visas in my name
1140
00:43:11,048 --> 00:43:14,176
♪ If you come around here,
I make 'em all day
1141
00:43:14,260 --> 00:43:16,470
♪ I get one down
in a second if you wait...
1142
00:43:16,553 --> 00:43:17,930
(COUGHING)
1143
00:43:18,013 --> 00:43:20,266
Should we call Red?
Get more weed?
1144
00:43:20,349 --> 00:43:23,102
Oh, I don't know, man.
That guy's gone crazy.
1145
00:43:23,185 --> 00:43:27,439
Good thing I have a lot of
fucking weed for you guys.
1146
00:43:27,523 --> 00:43:29,775
I hooked you guys UP-
1147
00:43:29,858 --> 00:43:33,737
Now I need you guys to
assassinate Woody Harrelson.
1148
00:43:33,988 --> 00:43:36,448
If pot's legalized,
my business will suffer.
1149
00:43:36,532 --> 00:43:38,826
And if my business
suffers, I suffer.
1150
00:43:38,909 --> 00:43:39,994
So much suffering.
1151
00:43:40,077 --> 00:43:42,913
All 'cause of that inbred
hemp seed, Woody Harrelson.
1152
00:43:42,997 --> 00:43:44,832
I have to do
what's right.
1153
00:43:44,915 --> 00:43:47,376
Weed is for the people.
It's the people's weed.
1154
00:43:47,793 --> 00:43:49,628
If you don't assassinate him...
We already quit.
1155
00:43:49,712 --> 00:43:52,256
...I'm gonna assassinate
both of you.
1156
00:43:53,215 --> 00:43:54,633
Run!
Go!
1157
00:43:54,717 --> 00:43:55,801
(SCREAMS)
1158
00:43:57,136 --> 00:43:58,470
I And take your money
1159
00:43:58,554 --> 00:44:00,931
♪ All I wanna do is... a'
1160
00:44:01,015 --> 00:44:03,892
B.F.F.F.F.F.F.F.F.F.F.
forever.
1161
00:44:03,976 --> 00:44:05,227
B.F.F.F.F.F.F.F.F.F.F.
1162
00:44:09,064 --> 00:44:10,733
(SCREAMING)
1163
00:44:11,150 --> 00:44:12,526
Look out!
Shit!
1164
00:44:13,485 --> 00:44:15,612
You're letting them get away!
(SCREAMING)
1165
00:44:20,409 --> 00:44:22,786
I smoked weed
with Steve Jobs,
1166
00:44:22,870 --> 00:44:25,122
and that's when he
came up with the iPad.
1167
00:44:25,706 --> 00:44:27,416
(LAUGHTER)
It's pretty great.
1168
00:44:27,499 --> 00:44:29,209
We should make sequels
to more of our movies.
1169
00:44:29,293 --> 00:44:30,336
CRAIG: Yeah!
1170
00:44:30,419 --> 00:44:32,004
JAMES". How 'bout we not
do Your Highness 2?
1171
00:44:32,087 --> 00:44:33,589
Yeah.
Do 128 Hours.
1172
00:44:33,672 --> 00:44:36,008
The beginning of the rest of
your comedies. Looks good.
1173
00:44:36,091 --> 00:44:37,468
(THUDDING)
1174
00:44:38,761 --> 00:44:39,762
(SCREAMING)
1175
00:44:39,845 --> 00:44:41,263
Oh, my God!
1176
00:44:45,392 --> 00:44:46,602
(ALL SCREAMING)
1177
00:44:47,519 --> 00:44:48,520
(GASPS)
1178
00:44:48,771 --> 00:44:50,022
Emma!
It's Emma.
1179
00:44:50,105 --> 00:44:52,649
Oh, my God,
you guys are alive.
1180
00:44:52,733 --> 00:44:54,985
You're actually alive.
Thank God!
1181
00:44:55,069 --> 00:44:57,821
I hid in a drainpipe
for days.
1182
00:44:57,905 --> 00:45:00,783
Like, three or four.
I don't even know how many.
1183
00:45:00,866 --> 00:45:02,368
And then I stopped
hearing people,
1184
00:45:02,451 --> 00:45:04,119
and I started hearing
growling noises.
1185
00:45:04,203 --> 00:45:07,581
Out there,
in your travels, uh,
1186
00:45:07,664 --> 00:45:08,957
did you see anything
that you would describe
1187
00:45:09,041 --> 00:45:10,542
as Apocalyptish?
1188
00:45:10,626 --> 00:45:12,378
I mean, no,
1189
00:45:12,461 --> 00:45:17,257
but, uh, I would say it's completely
obvious what's going on here.
1190
00:45:17,341 --> 00:45:19,885
I mean,
it's a zombie invasion.
1191
00:45:19,968 --> 00:45:21,595
Fuck! DANNY: I'm the one who
said it's been zombies.
1192
00:45:21,720 --> 00:45:23,430
You said zombies? I said
zombies the whole time.
1193
00:45:23,555 --> 00:45:25,808
You said zombies? I don't think...
You never said zombies.
1194
00:45:25,891 --> 00:45:27,935
Wait a second. You guys
haven't been proven right.
1195
00:45:28,018 --> 00:45:29,228
These are still
just theories.
1196
00:45:29,311 --> 00:45:31,897
Honestly, I'm just so relieved
that you guys are here,
1197
00:45:31,980 --> 00:45:34,983
and I'm very happy about the
idea of sleeping and just...
1198
00:45:35,067 --> 00:45:36,068
You tired?
Yeah.
1199
00:45:36,151 --> 00:45:38,904
If you want to
take a little rest,
1200
00:45:38,987 --> 00:45:40,989
you're welcome to
do that upstairs.
1201
00:45:41,073 --> 00:45:42,366
Thank you.
Cool.
1202
00:45:42,449 --> 00:45:43,992
JAMES: I'll show you the way.
EMMA: Thank you.
1203
00:45:44,076 --> 00:45:45,994
Thanks, guys. Seriously,
you're awesome, really.
1204
00:45:46,078 --> 00:45:47,621
You're awesome.
(CHUCKLES)
1205
00:45:48,288 --> 00:45:49,498
So fucking tight.
1206
00:45:49,581 --> 00:45:51,834
We'll be
right out here, okay?
1207
00:45:53,335 --> 00:45:54,420
(WHISPERS) Fuck are you
guys doing out here?
1208
00:45:54,503 --> 00:45:56,713
Here's what I think we should do.
She's British, right?
1209
00:45:56,797 --> 00:45:58,507
She's used to eating
shitty food anyway.
1210
00:45:58,590 --> 00:46:00,467
Let's just give her all the
shitty food that we don't want.
1211
00:46:00,551 --> 00:46:02,094
That's fucked up.
Look how tiny she is.
1212
00:46:02,177 --> 00:46:04,096
She's not even a full seven.
She's, like, half a seven.
1213
00:46:04,179 --> 00:46:05,431
This is a fucking
cool thing, man.
1214
00:46:05,514 --> 00:46:06,849
I, for one,
am very excited.
1215
00:46:06,932 --> 00:46:08,767
I'm a massive
Harry Potter fan.
1216
00:46:08,851 --> 00:46:10,936
What? Yes. I love
fucking Harry Potter.
1217
00:46:11,019 --> 00:46:12,438
I cannot wait
till she wakes up
1218
00:46:12,521 --> 00:46:14,189
and I can ask her all these
amazing questions about
1219
00:46:14,273 --> 00:46:15,482
how they made
those motion pictures.
1220
00:46:15,566 --> 00:46:16,608
Take it easy, Dumbledore.
1221
00:46:16,692 --> 00:46:19,570
Guys, listen, listen.
I think we need to
1222
00:46:19,653 --> 00:46:21,363
address the elephant
in the room.
1223
00:46:21,447 --> 00:46:23,198
Whoa. Jay, don't talk
about Craig like that.
1224
00:46:23,282 --> 00:46:24,825
That's fucked up. I'm
right here, man. Yeah.
1225
00:46:24,908 --> 00:46:27,035
I'm not calling
Craig an elephant.
1226
00:46:27,119 --> 00:46:29,121
Wow, that's fucking weird.
What does that even mean?
1227
00:46:29,204 --> 00:46:30,456
JAY: Yeah, no.
That's racist.
1228
00:46:30,539 --> 00:46:31,623
I wasn't
referring to him.
1229
00:46:31,707 --> 00:46:35,127
I was referring to the issue
that's on all of our minds.
1230
00:46:35,210 --> 00:46:36,462
What?
1231
00:46:36,545 --> 00:46:39,882
This is one girl
in a house with six males.
1232
00:46:39,965 --> 00:46:41,133
Yeah. Really safe.
1233
00:46:41,216 --> 00:46:42,301
Idealscenaflo.
1234
00:46:42,384 --> 00:46:43,469
She's like
a little sister.
1235
00:46:43,552 --> 00:46:45,012
I think that
she needs...
1236
00:46:45,095 --> 00:46:46,805
It's important
that she feels safe.
1237
00:46:46,889 --> 00:46:48,348
Yeah.
And comfortable.
1238
00:46:48,432 --> 00:46:49,808
And we should
be mindful.
1239
00:46:49,892 --> 00:46:51,185
Who's making her
not feel safe?
1240
00:46:51,268 --> 00:46:52,728
Well, I'm just saying,
we should...
1241
00:46:52,811 --> 00:46:55,147
We don't want to
give off a bad vibe.
1242
00:46:55,230 --> 00:46:56,773
Vibe? Vibes? I ain't
giving no vibes.
1243
00:46:56,857 --> 00:46:58,484
Yeah, wait, what kind of vibes
are you talking about, man?
1244
00:46:58,567 --> 00:47:00,444
He's talking about us
giving off a rapey vibe.
1245
00:47:00,527 --> 00:47:02,112
Hey!Shh!
JONAH: Whoa! What?
1246
00:47:02,237 --> 00:47:04,031
Jesus. Jay, what the fuck, man?
1247
00:47:04,114 --> 00:47:05,282
Chill out, dude.
1248
00:47:05,365 --> 00:47:07,242
Why you putting that
shit in the mix? Yeah.
1249
00:47:07,326 --> 00:47:09,077
He fucking said it.
You're the one saying it.
1250
00:47:09,161 --> 00:47:10,579
No one here is thinking
about raping anyone.
1251
00:47:10,621 --> 00:47:12,289
Shh! Well, you
talking about vibes
1252
00:47:12,372 --> 00:47:15,209
is the only thing that's
rapey going on right now.
1253
00:47:15,292 --> 00:47:17,211
Dude, nothing was rapey till you
brought up the rapey vibes.
1254
00:47:17,294 --> 00:47:19,296
Fucking one who smelt it dealt it, dawg.
True that, dude.
1255
00:47:19,379 --> 00:47:20,756
One who denies it
suppfiesit
1256
00:47:20,839 --> 00:47:22,841
I know,
it's farts, I get it.
1257
00:47:22,925 --> 00:47:24,092
Guys, GUYS, GUYS-
1258
00:47:24,176 --> 00:47:25,761
Jay's not rapey.
1259
00:47:26,220 --> 00:47:27,262
Jay couldn't rape a fly.
1260
00:47:27,346 --> 00:47:29,097
SETH: He probably could.
1261
00:47:29,181 --> 00:47:31,058
Maybe we should just stop this
entire conversation right now.
1262
00:47:31,141 --> 00:47:32,851
If anyone's gonna
rape anyone here,
1263
00:47:32,935 --> 00:47:34,228
it's probably
gonna be Danny.
1264
00:47:34,311 --> 00:47:35,729
What the fuck, Franco?
What?
1265
00:47:35,812 --> 00:47:37,189
Why do you think
I'm gonna rape somebody?
1266
00:47:37,272 --> 00:47:39,149
I'm just trying
to lay it out there.
1267
00:47:39,233 --> 00:47:40,609
I'm not gonna
rape anyone, all right?
1268
00:47:40,692 --> 00:47:41,944
If anyone's gonna
rape somebody, it's Jay.
1269
00:47:41,985 --> 00:47:43,612
JAY: What? DANNY: He came
up with the rape idea.
1270
00:47:43,695 --> 00:47:44,863
And his face looks
like the police sketch
1271
00:47:44,947 --> 00:47:46,073
of a fucking rapist.
JAMES: True.
1272
00:47:46,156 --> 00:47:47,366
What the fuck
does that mean?
1273
00:47:47,449 --> 00:47:49,034
If anybody's
raping Emma Watson,
1274
00:47:49,117 --> 00:47:50,244
it's fucking Sir
Rapes-a-Lot over here.
1275
00:47:50,369 --> 00:47:51,453
Chill out.
EMMA: Hey!
1276
00:47:51,662 --> 00:47:52,788
ALL: Whoa!
1277
00:47:52,871 --> 00:47:53,872
Easy. Easy.
1278
00:47:53,956 --> 00:47:55,040
Back the fuck up!
1279
00:47:55,123 --> 00:47:56,416
Emma.
What's wrong?
1280
00:47:56,500 --> 00:47:57,543
Wait, what's wrong?
What's wrong?
1281
00:47:57,626 --> 00:47:58,752
I just heard
you guys talking about
1282
00:47:58,835 --> 00:48:00,337
which one of you is
gonna get to rape me.
1283
00:48:00,420 --> 00:48:01,797
ALL: No, no, no, no!
1284
00:48:01,880 --> 00:48:03,340
Guys, I got it.
I got it.
1285
00:48:03,423 --> 00:48:05,676
No. It's funny.
It's funny.
1286
00:48:05,759 --> 00:48:07,636
We were specifically talking
about not raping you.
1287
00:48:07,719 --> 00:48:08,887
(SCREAMS)
1288
00:48:08,971 --> 00:48:10,097
Jesus!
Holy shit!
1289
00:48:10,180 --> 00:48:11,932
EMMA: Back up!
1290
00:48:12,474 --> 00:48:13,976
(CLAMORING)
It's me, Jonah!
1291
00:48:14,059 --> 00:48:15,519
It's me, Jonah Hill.
1292
00:48:15,602 --> 00:48:18,146
America's sweetheart.
J-bug, J-bone.
1293
00:48:18,272 --> 00:48:19,815
Your friend. I would never hurt you.
Get back!
1294
00:48:20,023 --> 00:48:21,316
(ALL CLAMORING)
1295
00:48:21,733 --> 00:48:23,735
Give me everything you have to drink!
Put it in the bag!
1296
00:48:23,819 --> 00:48:25,612
There's six of us.
You cannot rob us!
1297
00:48:25,696 --> 00:48:26,905
I'm not fucking around!
1298
00:48:28,198 --> 00:48:29,700
Give her drinks!
Give her drinks!
1299
00:48:29,783 --> 00:48:31,159
Put the drinks in a bag!
(CLAMORING)
1300
00:48:31,201 --> 00:48:33,287
Oh, God. Get all the
drinks in a bag!
1301
00:48:33,370 --> 00:48:34,663
Hurry the fuck up!
1302
00:48:34,746 --> 00:48:35,956
Okay, they're getting
the drinks.
1303
00:48:36,039 --> 00:48:38,083
Put the ax down. Don't
give the Milky Way away.
1304
00:48:38,166 --> 00:48:40,085
All right, you can
put the ax down now.
1305
00:48:40,168 --> 00:48:41,253
Now, Franco!
Shoot her face!
1306
00:48:41,336 --> 00:48:42,421
Shoot her!
1307
00:48:42,504 --> 00:48:44,089
I'm not gonna
shoot Emma Watson!
1308
00:48:44,172 --> 00:48:45,799
Look, Emma, just
stay here with us.
1309
00:48:45,882 --> 00:48:47,509
It's a lot safer
than out there.
1310
00:48:47,676 --> 00:48:49,845
(YELLS)
1311
00:48:50,679 --> 00:48:52,139
(FIRE CRACKLING)
1312
00:48:53,640 --> 00:48:56,101
Hermione just stole
all of our shit.
1313
00:48:56,184 --> 00:48:59,896
Little bitty-ass
20-year-old jacked us.
1314
00:48:59,980 --> 00:49:03,275
And then Jay suggested that we all
rape her, and now she's gone.
1315
00:49:03,358 --> 00:49:05,694
I didn't...
I was just... I...
1316
00:49:05,777 --> 00:49:08,864
I think the only reason why he
did that is because Jay knows
1317
00:49:08,947 --> 00:49:10,365
he's about fucking
two minutes away
1318
00:49:10,449 --> 00:49:12,034
from becoming
the house bitch himself.
1319
00:49:12,117 --> 00:49:16,038
So now,
motherfuckers is thirsty.
1320
00:49:16,413 --> 00:49:18,123
All right, GUYS-
1321
00:49:18,206 --> 00:49:19,958
The door to the
basement's out there,
1322
00:49:20,042 --> 00:49:21,460
around the side
of the house.
1323
00:49:21,543 --> 00:49:24,838
I know for sure there's at
least two jugs of water.
1324
00:49:24,921 --> 00:49:26,381
Okay.
1325
00:49:26,465 --> 00:49:27,466
Uh...
1326
00:49:28,342 --> 00:49:29,635
Any volunteers?
1327
00:49:29,718 --> 00:49:31,094
Does anyone want to
volunteer and go with Jay?
1328
00:49:31,595 --> 00:49:32,638
What?
1329
00:49:32,721 --> 00:49:34,640
I thought you said, "Someone
volunteer to go with me out there."
1330
00:49:34,723 --> 00:49:35,724
I must have
misheard you.
1331
00:49:35,849 --> 00:49:37,768
I'm sorry. You did
not, you motherfucker.
1332
00:49:37,851 --> 00:49:39,227
SETH: Hey, okay, ease up.
1333
00:49:39,311 --> 00:49:41,897
Just chill out, dude.
Just relax, man. God.
1334
00:49:41,980 --> 00:49:43,815
So how we gonna
decide this, fellas?
1335
00:49:43,899 --> 00:49:46,276
SETH: All right, guys,
it's simple.
1336
00:49:46,360 --> 00:49:49,780
Whoever pulls the burnt match
has to go get the water.
1337
00:49:57,996 --> 00:50:00,916
Who wants to go first?
1338
00:50:01,958 --> 00:50:03,210
I'll do it.
1339
00:50:03,293 --> 00:50:04,419
JAMES: Craig.
1340
00:50:04,503 --> 00:50:06,088
All right.
1341
00:50:07,089 --> 00:50:08,507
Go ahead, brother.
1342
00:50:13,970 --> 00:50:15,263
(GROANS)
1343
00:50:15,347 --> 00:50:16,765
No whammies, no whammies.
1344
00:50:16,848 --> 00:50:19,601
DANNY: Hey, hey.
SETH: Yes! Yeah!
1345
00:50:19,685 --> 00:50:21,520
Yes!
1346
00:50:21,645 --> 00:50:23,772
JAY: Whoo! SETH:
Fuck,yes.Fuck,yes.
1347
00:50:23,855 --> 00:50:25,899
So sorry, Craig. JAMES:
A lot of guys in here
1348
00:50:25,982 --> 00:50:27,275
that I wish it was
instead of you.
1349
00:50:28,735 --> 00:50:30,487
You want to go
best two out of three?
1350
00:50:30,570 --> 00:50:34,074
If I tug, if I pull in anyway,
or if you hear me screaming,
1351
00:50:34,157 --> 00:50:36,576
anything, you pull me
right back in, all right?
1352
00:50:36,660 --> 00:50:38,495
Yeah. We'll try, man,
but you're pretty heavy.
1353
00:50:39,121 --> 00:50:40,288
What?
1354
00:50:40,372 --> 00:50:43,125
No, I mean, I'm saying,
I just don't think it's smart
1355
00:50:43,208 --> 00:50:44,626
to make any guarantees.
Fuck,no.
1356
00:50:44,710 --> 00:50:46,420
You promise to pull me back in.
No, no, we're...
1357
00:50:46,503 --> 00:50:47,587
You got me?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
1358
00:50:47,671 --> 00:50:49,047
We're gonna do our best.
All right.
1359
00:50:49,131 --> 00:50:50,716
You want to do a test run? Yeah.
1360
00:50:50,799 --> 00:50:52,259
You gotta scream.
Let us hear the scream.
1361
00:50:52,592 --> 00:50:54,094
(SCREAMS WEAKLY)
Pull.
1362
00:50:54,177 --> 00:50:55,595
Nice. Very nice.
1363
00:50:55,679 --> 00:50:56,805
Everyone thank Craig
for doing this.
1364
00:50:56,888 --> 00:50:58,640
Thanks, Craig.
Thank you, Craig.
1365
00:50:58,724 --> 00:50:59,725
Go for it, Craig.
1366
00:50:59,808 --> 00:51:01,810
Getting smoky in here.
Go, go, go, go.
1367
00:51:05,439 --> 00:51:07,149
(FIRE CRACKLING)
This is fucked up.
1368
00:51:17,826 --> 00:51:19,661
Goddamn.
1369
00:51:19,745 --> 00:51:21,747
Smoky as fuck out here.
1370
00:51:27,127 --> 00:51:28,253
(FOOTSTEPS RUNNING)
1371
00:51:30,839 --> 00:51:32,090
(CREATURE GROWLING)
(GASPS)
1372
00:51:34,342 --> 00:51:36,219
(GROWLING CONTINUES)
1373
00:51:40,682 --> 00:51:41,725
Rope burn!
Ah! Ooh!
1374
00:51:41,808 --> 00:51:43,477
Grab it, grab it,
grab it!
1375
00:51:43,560 --> 00:51:44,811
Oh, no, no, no, no!
1376
00:51:44,895 --> 00:51:45,937
Shit.
Oh, no.
1377
00:51:46,021 --> 00:51:48,023
Shit. Shit.
1378
00:51:53,528 --> 00:51:55,155
(CREATURE ROARING)
1379
00:51:56,740 --> 00:51:57,991
Come on, motherfucker.
Shit!
1380
00:51:59,743 --> 00:52:00,994
(CREATURE GROWLING)
1381
00:52:01,077 --> 00:52:02,579
Fuck this shit.
1382
00:52:03,497 --> 00:52:05,123
(CREATURE ROARING)
1383
00:52:07,375 --> 00:52:08,418
(GRUNTS)
1384
00:52:08,502 --> 00:52:11,338
Fellas, fellas! Pull me in!
Pull the rope!
1385
00:52:11,421 --> 00:52:13,006
Pull me in! We don't
have the rope anymore!
1386
00:52:13,089 --> 00:52:14,382
We fucking dropped it!
We're sorry!
1387
00:52:14,466 --> 00:52:15,634
You've got
the rope, man!
1388
00:52:15,717 --> 00:52:17,052
What?
1389
00:52:18,595 --> 00:52:20,597
(CREATURE ROARING)
1390
00:52:21,097 --> 00:52:22,557
(SCREAMING)
1391
00:52:22,599 --> 00:52:24,267
Craig! What the fuck do we do?
1392
00:52:24,351 --> 00:52:26,102
Craig! Craig!
1393
00:52:26,186 --> 00:52:27,813
(SCREAMS)
1394
00:52:27,896 --> 00:52:28,897
SETH: Are you okay?
1395
00:52:28,980 --> 00:52:29,981
What happened, man?
1396
00:52:30,065 --> 00:52:31,566
I don't know! There's
something out there.
1397
00:52:32,859 --> 00:52:34,110
(SCREAMS)
1398
00:52:35,445 --> 00:52:36,613
Oh, shit!
1399
00:52:36,696 --> 00:52:38,281
(CLAMORING)
1400
00:52:39,741 --> 00:52:41,785
A knife!
Somebody throw me a knife!
1401
00:52:41,868 --> 00:52:43,161
I'll get it.
1402
00:52:44,955 --> 00:52:46,748
(SCREAMING)
1403
00:52:46,832 --> 00:52:49,084
Why?
OMG.
1404
00:52:49,167 --> 00:52:50,669
Jay, I'm so sorry, bro.
1405
00:52:50,752 --> 00:52:51,753
The fuck?
1406
00:52:52,504 --> 00:52:53,505
(SCREAMS)
1407
00:52:53,588 --> 00:52:55,090
Cut it! Cut it!
Cut it! Cut it! Cut it!
1408
00:52:55,173 --> 00:52:56,341
(CREATURE ROARING)
1409
00:52:56,424 --> 00:52:58,969
God! What the fuck
was that?
1410
00:52:59,052 --> 00:53:00,178
I don't know what
the fuck that was,
1411
00:53:00,262 --> 00:53:01,388
but I ain't
going back out there.
1412
00:53:01,471 --> 00:53:02,556
Craig, you didn't even
get any of the water.
1413
00:53:02,639 --> 00:53:03,640
The door was fucked up.
1414
00:53:03,723 --> 00:53:05,892
Damn it,
this is so frustrating!
1415
00:53:05,976 --> 00:53:08,228
It's so close,
but so far.
1416
00:53:08,311 --> 00:53:11,398
The water, it's, like,
right underneath us.
1417
00:53:11,481 --> 00:53:13,108
Like, right there.
1418
00:53:13,191 --> 00:53:15,944
What do you mean
"right underneath us"?
1419
00:53:16,027 --> 00:53:19,322
Like, literally,
like, right there.
1420
00:53:19,406 --> 00:53:21,032
If you went right
through the floor.
1421
00:53:33,253 --> 00:53:34,671
Yo.
1422
00:53:34,754 --> 00:53:39,175
Danny and Jonah's shift ends in ten
minutes, so our break is almost over.
1423
00:53:39,759 --> 00:53:41,177
Okay.
1424
00:53:41,386 --> 00:53:42,637
Let me ask you something.
1425
00:53:44,180 --> 00:53:46,641
You really think this is
1426
00:53:46,725 --> 00:53:48,184
the Apocalypse?
1427
00:53:48,268 --> 00:53:50,770
You saw something
out there, didn't you?
1428
00:53:50,854 --> 00:53:56,276
All right, let's just say for
sake of argument, what if I did?
1429
00:53:56,359 --> 00:53:58,486
What if this is the real
shit, right now, happening?
1430
00:53:59,487 --> 00:54:01,948
What if it is, man? We're
not prepared for this.
1431
00:54:02,073 --> 00:54:03,992
What do we do? What's next?
It says in the Bible,
1432
00:54:04,075 --> 00:54:05,994
"The worthy will
ascend to Heaven."
1433
00:54:06,077 --> 00:54:11,291
Even if it is the Apocalypse,
it's not the end of us.
1434
00:54:11,374 --> 00:54:12,918
There's still hope.
1435
00:54:13,001 --> 00:54:16,254
We just have to somehow try
to prove our worthiness.
1436
00:54:16,338 --> 00:54:18,590
CRAIG: Okay, so,
you mean, like,
1437
00:54:18,673 --> 00:54:22,135
like the Ten Commandments,
like, do shit unto people
1438
00:54:22,218 --> 00:54:23,428
that'll do
the same shit to you.
1439
00:54:23,511 --> 00:54:25,221
That's a great
place to start.
1440
00:54:25,305 --> 00:54:26,723
You know,
to just overall love.
1441
00:54:26,806 --> 00:54:29,893
Just be nicer and follow
those commandments.
1442
00:54:29,976 --> 00:54:32,270
Listen. We're gonna
get through this.
1443
00:54:32,354 --> 00:54:33,647
We're gonna get
through this, man.
1444
00:54:33,730 --> 00:54:36,399
You know why? 'Cause we're
gonna do it together.
1445
00:54:36,483 --> 00:54:37,692
You promise?
1446
00:54:37,776 --> 00:54:39,027
We're gonna do this.
1447
00:54:40,737 --> 00:54:42,781
(WHISPERS)
I hear everything.
1448
00:54:52,916 --> 00:54:54,834
JAMES: Who did this?
1449
00:54:54,918 --> 00:54:56,294
Who did this?
1450
00:54:56,378 --> 00:54:58,588
Did what? What are
you talking about?
1451
00:54:58,672 --> 00:55:01,299
Jizzed all over the pages
of this nice magazine
1452
00:55:01,383 --> 00:55:03,301
I was nice enough
to tell you about.
1453
00:55:03,385 --> 00:55:05,053
Was it you, Seth?
1454
00:55:05,136 --> 00:55:06,262
No.
1455
00:55:06,346 --> 00:55:07,764
No?
It was me, Franco.
1456
00:55:07,847 --> 00:55:09,975
I fucking madejizz
in your magazine.
1457
00:55:10,058 --> 00:55:11,851
Why?
When I fucking jack off
1458
00:55:11,935 --> 00:55:13,645
long enough,
I end upjizzing, dude.
1459
00:55:13,728 --> 00:55:16,272
I'm assuming the same
shit works for you?
1460
00:55:16,356 --> 00:55:18,984
Real fucking smart answer! Why
don't you fucking aim, huh?
1461
00:55:19,067 --> 00:55:22,278
I have a particularly explosive ejaculate.
It just goes everywhere.
1462
00:55:22,362 --> 00:55:24,239
It's like a fucking
wild fireman's hose.
1463
00:55:24,322 --> 00:55:25,865
You just got to grab on
and pray to God
1464
00:55:25,949 --> 00:55:27,283
it doesn't get in your
eyes or your mouth.
1465
00:55:27,367 --> 00:55:28,994
The fuck kind of
jerking off is that?
1466
00:55:29,077 --> 00:55:30,078
What, you never had
any brothers?
1467
00:55:30,161 --> 00:55:32,747
You didn't learn to jizz in a fucking
sock or on a fucking tissue?
1468
00:55:32,831 --> 00:55:34,582
No, I don't have
any brothers.
1469
00:55:34,666 --> 00:55:36,126
I was raised
in a house of women!
1470
00:55:36,209 --> 00:55:37,961
I highly doubt
they fucking taught you
1471
00:55:38,044 --> 00:55:40,672
to fucking close your eyes and
fucking cum wherever you want!
1472
00:55:40,755 --> 00:55:41,798
I mean, you're getting
all worked up
1473
00:55:41,881 --> 00:55:43,425
over a fucking
porno mag!
1474
00:55:43,508 --> 00:55:45,760
Who has goddamn
porno mags anymore?
1475
00:55:45,844 --> 00:55:48,179
Welcome to the 21 st
century, Buck Rogers!
1476
00:55:48,263 --> 00:55:51,099
You designed a house with
fucking iPads in the walls,
1477
00:55:51,182 --> 00:55:53,601
yet you're jerking your dick
like a goddamn pilgrim!
1478
00:55:53,685 --> 00:55:56,187
That's right, man.
I like to fucking read!
1479
00:55:56,271 --> 00:55:58,314
You think that's the only
thing ljerked off in here?
1480
00:55:58,398 --> 00:56:00,316
I've been dropping loads
around this fucking house
1481
00:56:00,400 --> 00:56:01,609
like a goddamn
dump truck.
1482
00:56:01,693 --> 00:56:03,153
You don't
cum on my stuff!
1483
00:56:03,236 --> 00:56:04,821
I'll cum wherever
the fuck I want, James.
1484
00:56:04,904 --> 00:56:06,197
I'll fucking cum
in your kitchen.
1485
00:56:06,281 --> 00:56:07,490
I'll cum on
your fucking art.
1486
00:56:07,574 --> 00:56:09,117
I'll cum anywhere
I want!
1487
00:56:09,200 --> 00:56:10,869
I will fucking cum
right on you!
1488
00:56:10,952 --> 00:56:13,329
I will cum like a fucking
madman all over you, McBride!
1489
00:56:13,413 --> 00:56:16,166
Ooh. I fucking wish you'd
cum on me right now.
1490
00:56:16,249 --> 00:56:17,584
I fucking dare you
to cum on me!
1491
00:56:17,667 --> 00:56:20,086
(GRUNTING)
God!
1492
00:56:20,170 --> 00:56:22,380
I'm gonna jack my dick
so fucking hard in here!
1493
00:56:22,464 --> 00:56:25,008
This, no more, man.
All over your fucking face.
1494
00:56:25,091 --> 00:56:27,135
This fucking all more.
All over the fucking place!
1495
00:56:27,218 --> 00:56:28,845
I'll fucking cum
anywhere I want!
1496
00:56:28,928 --> 00:56:30,221
I'll fucking cum
on these walls!
1497
00:56:30,305 --> 00:56:31,806
I'll cum on
the fucking cabinets!
1498
00:56:31,890 --> 00:56:33,433
On the fucking furniture!
I'll cum everywhere!
1499
00:56:33,516 --> 00:56:35,268
If I see your dick
one more time,
1500
00:56:35,351 --> 00:56:36,728
I'm gonna fucking
shoot it off!
1501
00:56:36,811 --> 00:56:38,605
You don't have
enough bullets, bitch.
1502
00:56:38,688 --> 00:56:41,191
No fucking jerking off
in my house, McBride!
1503
00:56:44,235 --> 00:56:45,945
Come on, man.
Fuck this.
1504
00:56:46,029 --> 00:56:47,697
I'm just... I'm too
thirsty to do this.
1505
00:56:47,781 --> 00:56:48,990
And the fucking
bitter irony is
1506
00:56:49,074 --> 00:56:51,284
I'm not gonna have my thirst
quenched until I finish this.
1507
00:56:51,367 --> 00:56:52,869
God damn it, I hate it.
Danny,no.
1508
00:56:52,952 --> 00:56:54,370
Don't walk away. Danny,
don't walk away from me!
1509
00:56:54,454 --> 00:56:57,499
It's too late, Seth. I've
already walked away too much.
1510
00:56:57,582 --> 00:56:59,334
No, you haven't. You
could still come back
1511
00:56:59,417 --> 00:57:01,961
and just fucking turn around
and come back and help me.
1512
00:57:03,963 --> 00:57:05,173
Danny?
1513
00:57:05,882 --> 00:57:07,092
Daniel?
1514
00:57:16,351 --> 00:57:17,685
Need a hand?
1515
00:57:18,269 --> 00:57:19,562
Yeah, dude.
1516
00:57:19,646 --> 00:57:20,605
Your shift
just ended, man.
1517
00:57:20,688 --> 00:57:22,065
You don't have to help me
if you don't want to.
1518
00:57:22,148 --> 00:57:23,316
It's fine, I get it.
1519
00:57:23,399 --> 00:57:25,151
The fuck else
am I doing?
1520
00:57:25,235 --> 00:57:27,362
I appreciate it, man.
Thank you.
1521
00:57:27,445 --> 00:57:28,863
Done and done.
That's cool.
1522
00:57:35,203 --> 00:57:37,747
I don't know why I'm thinking
of this, but remember that time
1523
00:57:37,831 --> 00:57:41,626
that I got you a fucking
Taco Bell gift certificate
1524
00:57:41,709 --> 00:57:43,419
for, like, 20 bucks,
and I bet you
1525
00:57:43,503 --> 00:57:45,463
that you couldn't eat
all of that in one sitting.
1526
00:57:45,547 --> 00:57:47,340
I do remember that.
I remember thinking,
1527
00:57:47,423 --> 00:57:48,633
"How much food
could 20 dollars
1528
00:57:48,716 --> 00:57:50,093
"possibly buy you
at Taco Bell?"
1529
00:57:50,176 --> 00:57:51,594
And the answer is infinite.
1530
00:57:51,678 --> 00:57:53,680
And we went to see
fucking Gladiator.
1531
00:57:53,763 --> 00:57:54,806
Yeah.
1532
00:57:54,889 --> 00:57:57,308
And you sharted midway
through the movie.
1533
00:57:57,392 --> 00:57:59,060
I did. Due to the
tigers' appearance.
1534
00:57:59,144 --> 00:58:00,687
I got scared of the tigers.
Yeah.
1535
00:58:00,770 --> 00:58:02,230
Literally, when the second
tiger came out, I went...
1536
00:58:02,313 --> 00:58:03,690
(MIMICS FART NOISE)
...and then I shat.
1537
00:58:03,773 --> 00:58:05,066
I shat in the theater.
1538
00:58:05,233 --> 00:58:06,401
(LAUGHS)
1539
00:58:07,110 --> 00:58:08,236
(BOTH SCREAMING)
1540
00:58:09,320 --> 00:58:10,530
(BOTH GROANING)
1541
00:58:12,073 --> 00:58:14,075
Jesus.
Oh, fuck.
1542
00:58:14,159 --> 00:58:15,577
You guys Okay?
1543
00:58:15,660 --> 00:58:17,287
I broke my ass in half. Here.
1544
00:58:17,370 --> 00:58:18,872
Shit, they got through!
1545
00:58:18,955 --> 00:58:21,166
You guys fucking did it.
Oh, my God.
1546
00:58:21,249 --> 00:58:22,250
Fuck. Did that hurt?
1547
00:58:22,333 --> 00:58:23,585
SETH: Oh, yes,
it fucking hurt.
1548
00:58:23,668 --> 00:58:25,670
Iloosened this up for
you, I'll have you know.
1549
00:58:25,753 --> 00:58:27,547
Okay, just shut up. It's
fucking dark down here.
1550
00:58:27,630 --> 00:58:30,091
Hold on, hold on.
1551
00:58:30,967 --> 00:58:32,051
Nice.
1552
00:58:32,177 --> 00:58:34,095
Okay, good. Thank you.
What is that?
1553
00:58:34,179 --> 00:58:36,848
That's Terrence Peterson. My
monkey flashlight keychain.
1554
00:58:36,973 --> 00:58:38,641
Monkey flashlight keychain?
Mmm-hmm.
1555
00:58:38,725 --> 00:58:40,268
What's his name?
Terrence Peterson.
1556
00:58:40,351 --> 00:58:41,769
You see it, Seth?
No. Where...
1557
00:58:41,853 --> 00:58:43,146
Are you sure
it's even down here?
1558
00:58:43,229 --> 00:58:44,272
Terry Pete.
1559
00:58:44,355 --> 00:58:45,690
Uh, not sure.
1560
00:58:45,773 --> 00:58:47,066
JAY: ls there, is there
any weird shit down here?
1561
00:58:47,150 --> 00:58:50,028
Nah, it's where I keep all
my stuff from my old movies.
1562
00:58:50,111 --> 00:58:51,362
Costumes, props.
1563
00:59:01,623 --> 00:59:02,624
(BOTH SCREAM)
1564
00:59:02,707 --> 00:59:04,292
What?
ls someone down there?
1565
00:59:04,375 --> 00:59:07,545
It's your fucking stupid
cutout from Spider-Man 3.
1566
00:59:07,629 --> 00:59:09,172
Jesus Christ.
1567
00:59:09,255 --> 00:59:10,298
No shit!
1568
00:59:10,381 --> 00:59:11,466
JAY: There it is!
SETH: Yes! Yeah!
1569
00:59:11,549 --> 00:59:13,468
What, did you find it?
SETH: Yeah!
1570
00:59:14,010 --> 00:59:15,470
(CHEERING)
1571
00:59:15,553 --> 00:59:17,055
♪ La-da-da-da-dah
1572
00:59:17,138 --> 00:59:19,140
♪ It's the motherfucking
D-O-double-G
1573
00:59:19,224 --> 00:59:20,558
♪ Snoop D099!
1574
00:59:20,642 --> 00:59:22,060
♪ La-da-da-da-dahh
1575
00:59:22,143 --> 00:59:24,354
♪ You know I'm mobbin'
with the D.R.E. a'
1576
00:59:24,604 --> 00:59:25,730
Water.
1577
00:59:25,813 --> 00:59:27,065
(WHOOPS)
1578
00:59:27,315 --> 00:59:28,900
Mmm!
1579
00:59:28,983 --> 00:59:31,069
That is so fucking good.
1580
00:59:31,152 --> 00:59:32,612
The two heroes over here,
breaking through the floor.
1581
00:59:32,695 --> 00:59:34,197
We did break
through the floor.
1582
00:59:34,280 --> 00:59:36,199
Any of you guys would
have done the same thing.
1583
00:59:36,282 --> 00:59:38,618
SETH: Oh, man.
That fucking hurt.
1584
00:59:38,701 --> 00:59:40,828
JAY: Yeah, I'm surprised
you didn't shart again.
1585
00:59:40,912 --> 00:59:42,080
SETH: I think I did.
1586
00:59:42,163 --> 00:59:43,998
Hey, what year
is this? 19...
1587
00:59:44,082 --> 00:59:45,667
SETH: That's a good...
That's a good year.
1588
00:59:45,750 --> 00:59:47,043
Hey, hey.
Yo, yo, yo!
1589
00:59:47,126 --> 00:59:48,795
Whoa, whoa, whoa!
What are you doing?
1590
00:59:48,878 --> 00:59:49,963
What am I doing?
1591
00:59:50,046 --> 00:59:51,256
(CLAMORING)
1592
00:59:51,339 --> 00:59:52,757
Fuck, man.
1593
00:59:52,840 --> 00:59:54,759
I'm just pouring myself
another glass of water
1594
00:59:54,842 --> 00:59:56,803
to wash down that dry-ass
Cinnamon Toast Crunch.
1595
00:59:56,886 --> 00:59:58,137
That's very nice,
but you can't just
1596
00:59:58,221 --> 00:59:59,847
pour yourself another
glass of water, man!
1597
00:59:59,931 --> 01:00:01,015
Will you cut it out?
1598
01:00:01,099 --> 01:00:03,351
Yeah. We agreed to
one glass at dinner,
1599
01:00:03,434 --> 01:00:04,602
we voted on it, man.
1600
01:00:04,686 --> 01:00:05,937
Well, man, I'm just
getting sick and tired
1601
01:00:06,020 --> 01:00:07,355
of all these
fucking rules, man.
1602
01:00:07,438 --> 01:00:08,856
You don't see me putting
rules on you guys.
1603
01:00:08,940 --> 01:00:11,276
You cannot have
another glass of water.
1604
01:00:11,359 --> 01:00:13,403
Jay weighs 150 pounds
less than me.
1605
01:00:13,486 --> 01:00:15,363
Why the fuck is it fair
1606
01:00:15,446 --> 01:00:17,323
that him and I should drink
the same amount of water?
1607
01:00:17,407 --> 01:00:19,117
We should be
dividing our rations
1608
01:00:19,200 --> 01:00:21,077
based on our
proportionate size.
1609
01:00:21,160 --> 01:00:23,621
I don't want to come off
as a diva here or anything.
1610
01:00:23,705 --> 01:00:24,956
It's just that
I think everyone
1611
01:00:25,039 --> 01:00:26,332
should split
everything equally.
1612
01:00:26,416 --> 01:00:28,584
"I just think that everybody
should have the fucking same.
1613
01:00:28,668 --> 01:00:30,753
"I have a goddamn earring."
Shut the fuck up, Jonah!
1614
01:00:30,837 --> 01:00:32,547
JAMES: You know what, Danny?
If you weren'tjizzing
1615
01:00:32,630 --> 01:00:34,465
all the time, maybe
you'd be more hydrated.
1616
01:00:34,549 --> 01:00:36,175
You're making me into a
joke right now, Franco,
1617
01:00:36,259 --> 01:00:38,052
and you are not gonna like
the fucking punch line.
1618
01:00:38,136 --> 01:00:41,055
No more jerking off! No more water!
Just sit the fuck down!
1619
01:00:41,139 --> 01:00:42,432
Okay, I'm done.
1620
01:00:42,515 --> 01:00:43,725
We're not gonna
have any more water.
1621
01:00:43,808 --> 01:00:44,809
Good.
All right.
1622
01:00:46,811 --> 01:00:48,396
Hey!
1623
01:00:48,479 --> 01:00:49,856
(CLAMORING)
1624
01:00:55,653 --> 01:00:57,405
SETH: Someone help me!
Fucking grab it!
1625
01:00:57,780 --> 01:00:59,991
(SCREAMING)
1626
01:01:00,158 --> 01:01:01,409
JAMES:
What are you doing?
1627
01:01:01,492 --> 01:01:02,493
You guys
made this happen!
1628
01:01:02,577 --> 01:01:05,038
You guys forced my fucking
hand by ganging up on me.
1629
01:01:05,121 --> 01:01:08,082
God damn it, I'm gonna fucking
kill this motherfucker!
1630
01:01:08,166 --> 01:01:10,084
(PANTING)
1631
01:01:10,168 --> 01:01:12,587
That's what I thought.
Nerd.
1632
01:01:17,342 --> 01:01:18,801
(SNORING) (WHISPERING)
All right, guys,
1633
01:01:18,926 --> 01:01:20,053
let's get rid of him.
1634
01:01:20,136 --> 01:01:21,429
SETH: What?
What do you mean?
1635
01:01:21,512 --> 01:01:23,056
Like, kick him
out of the house?
1636
01:01:23,139 --> 01:01:25,892
His fucking reckless behavior
is dragging us all down.
1637
01:01:25,975 --> 01:01:27,977
I mean, he wasted
our water twice.
1638
01:01:28,061 --> 01:01:29,937
Two times. Two times.
1639
01:01:30,021 --> 01:01:32,523
Dan is under a lot
of pressure. Okay?
1640
01:01:32,607 --> 01:01:34,359
And he's not handling it as
good as the rest of us are.
1641
01:01:34,442 --> 01:01:37,153
Look at him. He's wearing
my fucking tuxedo.
1642
01:01:37,236 --> 01:01:38,821
He's been eating nonstop.
1643
01:01:38,905 --> 01:01:41,282
The fucker's gained weight
since he got here.
1644
01:01:41,366 --> 01:01:43,368
The fucker's got to go.
1645
01:01:43,451 --> 01:01:44,452
Go.
1646
01:01:44,535 --> 01:01:46,120
The fucker's got to go.
1647
01:01:50,625 --> 01:01:52,210
This is how you all feel?
1648
01:01:52,293 --> 01:01:53,544
SETH: We talked about it.
1649
01:01:53,628 --> 01:01:56,506
You guys are gonna
vote me off the island?
1650
01:01:56,589 --> 01:01:59,509
I mean, I made
you guys breakfast.
1651
01:01:59,592 --> 01:02:01,886
Shit, man, you wasted half of
our food when you did that.
1652
01:02:01,969 --> 01:02:04,680
Just thought I was doing
something nice for you guys.
1653
01:02:04,764 --> 01:02:08,059
Just to apologize for my
behavior at the party.
1654
01:02:08,142 --> 01:02:09,477
Party I wasn't
even invited to.
1655
01:02:09,811 --> 01:02:11,771
(SIGHS)
DANNY: I'm not an idiot.
1656
01:02:12,230 --> 01:02:14,857
I know why you guys don't fucking
call me or hang out with me anymore.
1657
01:02:14,941 --> 01:02:17,985
It's because I party
so fucking hard.
1658
01:02:18,444 --> 01:02:21,489
Always have.
Ever since I was a baby.
1659
01:02:21,572 --> 01:02:23,282
I wouldn't just suck
on my mama's titties.
1660
01:02:23,366 --> 01:02:26,494
I would fucking bang 'em
and motorboat 'em.
1661
01:02:27,662 --> 01:02:31,207
Everything I've been doing
has just been a cry for help.
1662
01:02:31,290 --> 01:02:34,085
When I came on
your magazine, James,
1663
01:02:34,168 --> 01:02:36,129
it was a cum for help.
1664
01:02:36,212 --> 01:02:40,007
I've just been crying and
c:omin' and crying and c:omin',
1665
01:02:40,675 --> 01:02:42,927
tears from the tip
of my penis, dudes.
1666
01:02:44,262 --> 01:02:45,972
I'm sorry, all right? You
can cum wherever you want.
1667
01:02:46,055 --> 01:02:48,474
I don't even care about
cumming anymore.
1668
01:02:50,017 --> 01:02:52,437
Right now, I'm just
kind of into going.
1669
01:02:53,604 --> 01:02:55,273
Danny.
Danny.
1670
01:02:55,356 --> 01:02:56,441
Hey.
Come on, man.
1671
01:02:56,524 --> 01:02:58,025
I fucked up.
1672
01:02:58,109 --> 01:02:59,360
I'm sorry, man.
Come on, look,
1673
01:02:59,485 --> 01:03:01,154
I was wrong. SETH: I
feel like shit, man.
1674
01:03:01,237 --> 01:03:02,738
I didn't want it
to happen like this.
1675
01:03:02,822 --> 01:03:03,906
Let's just discuss it
some more, okay?
1676
01:03:03,990 --> 01:03:05,283
Yeah. Let's just
talk, dude.
1677
01:03:05,366 --> 01:03:08,035
We're giving you an option.
It's a choice, man.
1678
01:03:08,119 --> 01:03:09,954
There's nothing to
figure out, all right?
1679
01:03:10,037 --> 01:03:12,707
You guys have said enough, and
there's no going back anymore.
1680
01:03:13,875 --> 01:03:16,878
I don't know if there maybe is, like,
something you guys could give me
1681
01:03:16,961 --> 01:03:19,547
so I could at least have some sort
of protection while I'm out there.
1682
01:03:19,630 --> 01:03:21,966
Danny, you don't
have to do this.
1683
01:03:22,049 --> 01:03:23,426
SETH: Yeah, man.
JAMES: All right,
1684
01:03:23,509 --> 01:03:24,719
if you're really leaving
1685
01:03:26,053 --> 01:03:28,139
then you should
take this.
1686
01:03:28,222 --> 01:03:29,891
Really?
1687
01:03:29,974 --> 01:03:32,268
You don't know
what's out there.
1688
01:03:35,605 --> 01:03:37,273
Thank you, James.
1689
01:03:38,149 --> 01:03:41,569
It means a lot to you, and I
appreciate that you'd give this to me,
1690
01:03:41,652 --> 01:03:43,488
you stupid,
stupid motherfucker!
1691
01:03:43,571 --> 01:03:45,072
(ALL YELLING)
1692
01:03:46,782 --> 01:03:49,577
Fucking psychopath.
It's a prop gun!
1693
01:03:49,660 --> 01:03:51,204
What, do you think I'd put
real bullets in here?
1694
01:03:51,287 --> 01:03:53,581
You were gonna send me out
there with a fucking gun
1695
01:03:53,664 --> 01:03:54,707
filled with blanks?
Oh, fuck you!
1696
01:03:54,790 --> 01:03:56,042
Don't turn this
around on us.
1697
01:03:56,125 --> 01:03:58,127
You just tried to shoot
us, you fucking dickhead!
1698
01:03:58,211 --> 01:03:59,253
Fucking murdering
motherfucker!
1699
01:03:59,337 --> 01:04:01,672
Whatever. Fucking
civilization is broken down.
1700
01:04:01,756 --> 01:04:04,175
There's no more reason
for this false bullshit.
1701
01:04:04,258 --> 01:04:06,177
You guys act like you're so
fucking high and mighty,
1702
01:04:06,260 --> 01:04:08,513
like you've never made a
goddamn mistake before.
1703
01:04:08,596 --> 01:04:10,556
Franco, you're just
a pretentious fucking nerd.
1704
01:04:10,640 --> 01:04:11,682
Fuck you.
1705
01:04:11,766 --> 01:04:12,850
And, Jonah,
1706
01:04:12,934 --> 01:04:14,268
you fucking cunt.
1707
01:04:16,020 --> 01:04:19,023
Craig, you didn't have
my back, back there.
1708
01:04:19,148 --> 01:04:21,275
You fuckin' disappoint me. Bro.
1709
01:04:21,359 --> 01:04:24,111
And, Seth, (SCOFFS)
you duplicitous taint.
1710
01:04:24,195 --> 01:04:27,114
What? Then of course,
there's Jay,
1711
01:04:27,198 --> 01:04:30,743
the self-righteous, cock-sucking,
two-faced backstabber.
1712
01:04:30,826 --> 01:04:32,578
What the fuck
are you talking about?
1713
01:04:32,662 --> 01:04:34,413
I overheard your little
conversation with Craig, all right?
1714
01:04:34,497 --> 01:04:36,791
The only reason why you
care about any of us is
1715
01:04:36,874 --> 01:04:38,501
because you think that's
what God wants you to do.
1716
01:04:38,584 --> 01:04:39,961
You don't give
a shit about us.
1717
01:04:40,044 --> 01:04:42,171
No,no,no,no, that's fucking
twisting that shit...
1718
01:04:42,255 --> 01:04:43,256
You're fucking lying.
1719
01:04:43,339 --> 01:04:44,674
Am I twisting this?
1720
01:04:44,757 --> 01:04:47,593
I believe you were
in Los Angeles
1721
01:04:47,677 --> 01:04:49,512
two months ago,
at the Four Seasons.
1722
01:04:49,595 --> 01:04:53,099
I saw you there, and you specifically
asked me not to tell Seth,
1723
01:04:53,182 --> 01:04:55,726
so that you could
maintain the illusion
1724
01:04:55,810 --> 01:04:57,228
that you always
stay with Seth
1725
01:04:57,311 --> 01:04:58,396
when you're in Los Angeles.
1726
01:04:58,479 --> 01:05:00,106
Ooh!
1727
01:05:01,148 --> 01:05:02,358
Jay.
1728
01:05:02,441 --> 01:05:04,151
Fuck, man.
JAY: It's not...
1729
01:05:04,235 --> 01:05:06,571
Textbook twattage.
1730
01:05:06,654 --> 01:05:08,656
And just for
the record, you guys,
1731
01:05:08,739 --> 01:05:10,992
I'm choosing to leave,
you're not kicking me out.
1732
01:05:11,075 --> 01:05:13,202
You guys had already said
that I could come back in
1733
01:05:13,286 --> 01:05:15,496
and I'm the one who said
that I'm not coming back in.
1734
01:05:15,580 --> 01:05:16,831
Don't be cocky.
1735
01:05:18,833 --> 01:05:20,459
(FIRE CRACKLING)
1736
01:05:22,295 --> 01:05:23,629
Get the fuck
out of here.
1737
01:05:25,339 --> 01:05:26,966
Is that true?
1738
01:05:27,341 --> 01:05:28,968
(SIGHS)
1739
01:05:29,051 --> 01:05:30,094
Yes.
1740
01:05:30,177 --> 01:05:31,512
J8Y--'
1741
01:05:32,763 --> 01:05:34,223
I know this is
probably my fault
1742
01:05:34,307 --> 01:05:35,725
because I put you
on a pedestal,
1743
01:05:35,808 --> 01:05:38,477
but you should not be
dishonest with your friends.
1744
01:05:38,561 --> 01:05:40,646
But you really
let me down.
1745
01:05:41,731 --> 01:05:43,274
Hey! Whoa!
Jay, damn, man.
1746
01:05:43,357 --> 01:05:45,735
Fucken
JAMES: What the hell?
1747
01:05:45,818 --> 01:05:47,695
It's all fucked,
isn't it?
1748
01:05:48,404 --> 01:05:49,780
Jonah, you okay?
Yeah.
1749
01:05:50,239 --> 01:05:51,574
Bleeding?
1750
01:05:52,116 --> 01:05:53,409
(EXHALES)
1751
01:05:55,369 --> 01:05:56,370
Yeah.
1752
01:05:58,914 --> 01:06:02,918
His insides hurt worse
than my outsides.
1753
01:06:04,128 --> 01:06:05,379
(SIGHS)
1754
01:06:10,718 --> 01:06:12,053
Dear God,
1755
01:06:13,763 --> 01:06:16,057
I'd like to pray
to You for a second.
1756
01:06:16,140 --> 01:06:17,808
It's me, Jonah Hill.
1757
01:06:19,810 --> 01:06:21,479
From Moneyball.
1758
01:06:23,814 --> 01:06:28,194
I hate Jay
so fucking much.
1759
01:06:28,277 --> 01:06:31,238
I think he might be the worst
person You ever created.
1760
01:06:31,322 --> 01:06:34,825
I don't want to
judge You, but...
1761
01:06:34,909 --> 01:06:38,162
What's up? What were
You thinking that day?
1762
01:06:38,245 --> 01:06:42,792
I love Seth, I love being his
friend, he's an awesome guy,
1763
01:06:42,875 --> 01:06:45,169
but it's like Jay is
the last connection
1764
01:06:45,252 --> 01:06:48,756
to his shitty,
weird Canadian life.
1765
01:06:49,924 --> 01:06:51,676
Just do me one favor, God.
1766
01:06:53,886 --> 01:06:55,638
Just kill Jay.
1767
01:06:58,057 --> 01:06:59,642
That'd be so tight.
1768
01:07:02,645 --> 01:07:04,146
(EERIE WHOOSHING)
1769
01:07:06,982 --> 01:07:08,275
(SIGHS)
1770
01:07:16,450 --> 01:07:17,993
(SNORING)
1771
01:07:33,050 --> 01:07:34,468
(CREATURE GROWLING)
1772
01:07:41,809 --> 01:07:43,811
(CONTINUES GROWLING SOFTLY)
1773
01:07:55,865 --> 01:07:57,074
(SCRAPING)
1774
01:07:57,867 --> 01:07:59,744
(CHUCKLING)
Stop, man.
1775
01:07:59,827 --> 01:08:01,996
Seriously, Craig, stop.
1776
01:08:02,496 --> 01:08:04,415
Your nails are sharp.
1777
01:08:06,125 --> 01:08:07,668
(CREATURE GRUNTING)
1778
01:08:15,426 --> 01:08:16,427
(SNARLS)
1779
01:08:16,510 --> 01:08:17,678
This is no dream!
1780
01:08:18,637 --> 01:08:20,931
This is really happening!
1781
01:08:21,932 --> 01:08:23,058
No!
1782
01:08:35,780 --> 01:08:39,742
Something, um, not that
chill happened last night.
1783
01:08:40,701 --> 01:08:45,039
Yo, so, I just drank my own
pee for the first time.
1784
01:08:45,706 --> 01:08:50,127
(LAUGHS) And it ain't bad.
I never thought to do it.
1785
01:08:50,211 --> 01:08:53,339
I always thought, you know,
pee stink, whatever, but...
1786
01:08:53,422 --> 01:08:54,799
Shh.
1787
01:08:59,553 --> 01:09:01,096
(UNZIPS ZIPPER)
1788
01:09:01,639 --> 01:09:03,265
(EXHALES QUIETLY)
1789
01:09:11,315 --> 01:09:13,234
SETH: I think we all
remember how this works.
1790
01:09:13,317 --> 01:09:15,486
Whoever gets the burnt match
has to go to one of Franco's
1791
01:09:15,569 --> 01:09:17,488
neighbors' houses, get us
some food and some water.
1792
01:09:17,571 --> 01:09:19,406
No-ho-ho.
No, I'm not going first.
1793
01:09:19,490 --> 01:09:20,950
I'll go first.
SETH: Thank you.
1794
01:09:21,033 --> 01:09:22,785
Very mature of you.
Thank you.
1795
01:09:26,163 --> 01:09:27,164
(GRUNTS)
1796
01:09:27,248 --> 01:09:28,582
Yes!
1797
01:09:28,666 --> 01:09:30,417
Sorry.
1798
01:09:31,502 --> 01:09:32,503
Good job.
1799
01:09:36,257 --> 01:09:37,424
You okay, Jonah?
1800
01:09:37,508 --> 01:09:38,551
What's that?
1801
01:09:38,634 --> 01:09:39,718
You Okay?
1802
01:09:40,386 --> 01:09:43,222
Yeah. Just bad sleep.
Crazy dream.
1803
01:09:43,305 --> 01:09:44,598
Here, Jonah.
1804
01:09:47,852 --> 01:09:49,186
Jonah.
1805
01:09:49,270 --> 01:09:51,355
Okay.
Shit.
1806
01:09:51,438 --> 01:09:52,940
Craigers,
you feeling lucky?
1807
01:09:53,232 --> 01:09:54,733
Will history
repeat itself?
1808
01:09:57,486 --> 01:09:58,529
Thank you.
1809
01:10:01,574 --> 01:10:02,825
JAMES:
You got this, dawg.
1810
01:10:09,623 --> 01:10:10,624
(INHALES)
1811
01:10:10,708 --> 01:10:13,085
JAMES:
Seth! No! Not you!
1812
01:10:13,460 --> 01:10:14,503
(ANGRY GRUNT)
1813
01:10:19,133 --> 01:10:20,175
(EXHALES)
1814
01:10:20,259 --> 01:10:21,260
I'm not going.
1815
01:10:21,343 --> 01:10:23,721
What?
I'm not going.
1816
01:10:23,804 --> 01:10:25,097
I'm bowing out.
I'm declining to go.
1817
01:10:25,180 --> 01:10:26,181
What?
1818
01:10:26,265 --> 01:10:27,308
Let me break it
down for you.
1819
01:10:27,683 --> 01:10:29,268
I'm not fucking going.
1820
01:10:29,351 --> 01:10:31,395
You are definitely going.
Tell him he's fucking going.
1821
01:10:31,478 --> 01:10:33,772
Tell you what, why don't you
fucking go, Mr. Self-Righteous?
1822
01:10:33,856 --> 01:10:36,275
You're constantly saying what
assholes we are, how good you are.
1823
01:10:36,358 --> 01:10:37,902
You go get us
some fuckin' water.
1824
01:10:42,031 --> 01:10:43,157
I will go.
1825
01:10:44,325 --> 01:10:45,951
Because I have
1826
01:10:46,035 --> 01:10:47,912
something called honor.
CRAIG: Fuck, fuck, fuck.
1827
01:10:47,995 --> 01:10:49,788
That's good. Yeah,
you're very honorable.
1828
01:10:50,247 --> 01:10:51,582
I'll go with you, Jay.
1829
01:10:51,665 --> 01:10:52,833
Really?
1830
01:10:52,917 --> 01:10:55,336
Is it because of
our pact upstairs?
1831
01:10:55,419 --> 01:10:57,838
Nah, 'cause you got
them skinny-ass arms.
1832
01:10:57,922 --> 01:10:59,965
You couldn't carry enough
to feed a hamster.
1833
01:11:01,425 --> 01:11:02,468
(QUIETLY) It's working.
1834
01:11:06,013 --> 01:11:07,348
JAY: Let's get that money.
1835
01:11:07,431 --> 01:11:09,016
Let's do it.
1836
01:11:09,516 --> 01:11:11,852
Yo. Out and to the left.
Shh-shh.
1837
01:11:19,318 --> 01:11:20,361
(WHISPERS) Bye.
1838
01:11:25,366 --> 01:11:26,700
(WHISPERS)
Oh, my God.
1839
01:11:26,784 --> 01:11:28,035
(WHISPERS) What?
1840
01:11:28,577 --> 01:11:30,204
That's so sad.
1841
01:11:31,413 --> 01:11:33,540
Innocencelost
1842
01:11:39,546 --> 01:11:40,923
What is that?
1843
01:11:41,215 --> 01:11:42,174
Fire.
1844
01:11:42,257 --> 01:11:43,717
There's, like,
fire everywhere.
1845
01:11:43,801 --> 01:11:45,094
Damn it!
1846
01:11:46,053 --> 01:11:47,388
Hey,hev!
1847
01:11:49,264 --> 01:11:51,475
CRAIG: Fuck, yeah. Let's
go, let's go, let's go.
1848
01:11:52,017 --> 01:11:53,644
(DOOR CREAKING)
1849
01:12:06,657 --> 01:12:08,367
(LOUDLY) Hello? (WHISPERS)
Shut the fuck up!
1850
01:12:08,492 --> 01:12:10,119
(WHISPERING) What? You
yelling that shit for?
1851
01:12:10,202 --> 01:12:11,912
We got to find out...
Don't yell no more, man.
1852
01:12:11,996 --> 01:12:13,998
Crack you in the head
with this frying pan.
1853
01:12:14,081 --> 01:12:18,085
Okay. So we should probably
split up, cover more ground.
1854
01:12:18,168 --> 01:12:20,421
What you think
this is, Scooby-Doo?
1855
01:12:20,546 --> 01:12:22,214
We're gonna go in there, we're
gonna find the kitchen,
1856
01:12:22,297 --> 01:12:24,008
and get as much shit
as we can, together!
1857
01:12:24,091 --> 01:12:25,259
Then we're getting
the fuck out of here.
1858
01:12:25,342 --> 01:12:27,094
All right, all right.
All right?
1859
01:12:27,428 --> 01:12:29,346
(FOOTSTEPS APPROACHING)
1860
01:12:29,722 --> 01:12:30,723
(SIGHS)
1861
01:12:30,806 --> 01:12:31,807
Hey.
1862
01:12:32,391 --> 01:12:33,517
Hey.
1863
01:12:33,600 --> 01:12:35,185
What are you doing?
1864
01:12:35,269 --> 01:12:37,479
That should be me
out there.
1865
01:12:37,563 --> 01:12:39,273
I totally fucked
those guys.
1866
01:12:39,940 --> 01:12:41,275
Mmm.
(SHRIEKING IN DISTANCE)
1867
01:12:42,609 --> 01:12:43,777
Fuck was that?
1868
01:12:45,362 --> 01:12:47,281
SETH: Oh, fuck!
Is he okay?
1869
01:12:47,364 --> 01:12:48,532
Dude!Jonah!
1870
01:12:48,615 --> 01:12:50,034
SETH: What the fuck?
What do we do?
1871
01:12:50,117 --> 01:12:51,744
Do you know first aid or anything?
JAMES: No.
1872
01:12:51,827 --> 01:12:52,911
Jonah!
I suck at first aid.
1873
01:12:52,995 --> 01:12:54,288
Are you okay? Shit!
Jonah?
1874
01:12:54,371 --> 01:12:56,206
Oh, no.
Low blood sugar. LBS.
1875
01:12:56,290 --> 01:12:58,125
LBS! He's having an LBS episode!
1876
01:12:58,208 --> 01:13:00,252
I'll get the Milky Way!
You get the Milky Way!
1877
01:13:03,464 --> 01:13:04,506
Ugh!
1878
01:13:09,178 --> 01:13:10,637
Jay.
1879
01:13:12,014 --> 01:13:13,223
(GASPS)
1880
01:13:13,307 --> 01:13:15,392
SETH: Jonah, stay with me!
Stay with me.
1881
01:13:15,476 --> 01:13:17,394
I got it, I got it, I got
it, got it, open his mouth.
1882
01:13:17,478 --> 01:13:18,771
It's your friend, Seth.
Open his mouth.
1883
01:13:18,854 --> 01:13:21,315
Open his mouth. Open his mouth.
I'll get this in there.
1884
01:13:21,398 --> 01:13:22,733
Okay, okay.
Shove it right in there.
1885
01:13:22,816 --> 01:13:24,318
SETH: Jonah.
Milky Way, Jonah.
1886
01:13:24,401 --> 01:13:25,903
You love the Milky Way.
Yummy, yum.
1887
01:13:25,986 --> 01:13:27,321
SETH: It's not fucking
working, man!
1888
01:13:27,404 --> 01:13:28,405
What the fuck!
1889
01:13:28,489 --> 01:13:29,615
How do we
get it in there?
1890
01:13:29,698 --> 01:13:32,826
Chew it up, chew it up and spit
in his mouth like a baby bird.
1891
01:13:33,577 --> 01:13:34,578
Mmm! (GULPS)
1892
01:13:34,661 --> 01:13:35,662
You just
swallowed it, man.
1893
01:13:35,746 --> 01:13:36,747
It's so good.
1894
01:13:36,830 --> 01:13:38,457
Give me a bite.
1895
01:13:38,540 --> 01:13:39,583
Mmm!
1896
01:13:39,666 --> 01:13:42,377
The second it hits your
mouth is, like, amazing.
1897
01:13:43,837 --> 01:13:46,006
Okay.
(MUFFLED) Open it.
1898
01:13:47,508 --> 01:13:49,176
(SPEAKING IN DEMONIC VOICE)
1899
01:13:53,388 --> 01:13:55,015
What the fuck was that?
1900
01:13:55,099 --> 01:13:57,101
That's Hebrew.
That's not Hebrew.
1901
01:13:57,184 --> 01:13:58,560
It's fuckin' Latin
or something like that.
1902
01:13:58,644 --> 01:14:00,270
I went to Hebrew school for six years.
That's not Hebrew.
1903
01:14:01,730 --> 01:14:03,941
(DEMONIC VOICE) You will
drown in a river of blood.
1904
01:14:04,024 --> 01:14:05,943
The End of Days is here.
1905
01:14:06,026 --> 01:14:08,946
You will quiver in the
shadow of Kingdom Come.
1906
01:14:09,029 --> 01:14:11,949
Judgment Day is upon you.
1907
01:14:12,032 --> 01:14:16,328
The Apocalypse is nigh!
1908
01:14:18,872 --> 01:14:20,833
Hey, I think
that's all it could fit.
1909
01:14:21,542 --> 01:14:25,587
Man, let's take this back to
Franco's, get the fuck out of here.
1910
01:14:25,671 --> 01:14:26,880
Uh, uh...
1911
01:14:27,589 --> 01:14:28,799
What are we
going back for?
1912
01:14:28,882 --> 01:14:29,967
What are you
talking about?
1913
01:14:30,050 --> 01:14:34,012
In theory, we could
just fuckin' stay here.
1914
01:14:34,096 --> 01:14:37,015
And here,
you don't have to sleep
1915
01:14:37,099 --> 01:14:39,977
in a friggin'
tent under a dick.
1916
01:14:40,060 --> 01:14:41,395
I like my dick tent.
1917
01:14:41,478 --> 01:14:42,521
I'm just saying,
1918
01:14:42,604 --> 01:14:46,400
we could build a life here together, Craig.
I'd be really good to you.
1919
01:14:46,859 --> 01:14:48,777
All I know is
I'm scared as hell,
1920
01:14:48,861 --> 01:14:51,655
and I just want to
get back to our friends.
1921
01:14:51,738 --> 01:14:52,906
Yeah, but they're
not my friends.
1922
01:14:53,407 --> 01:14:54,366
Seth is your friend.
1923
01:14:54,449 --> 01:14:56,660
We've been growing
apart for years.
1924
01:14:56,743 --> 01:14:59,329
That's why I didn't stay with
him last time I was here.
1925
01:14:59,413 --> 01:15:01,832
And I stayed with him this
time to try and salvage it,
1926
01:15:01,915 --> 01:15:03,667
but clearly
that didn't work out.
1927
01:15:03,750 --> 01:15:06,420
Jay, like it or not,
1928
01:15:07,045 --> 01:15:08,755
those assholes
are all we got.
1929
01:15:09,047 --> 01:15:10,299
(CREAKING)
1930
01:15:12,801 --> 01:15:13,802
Did you hear that?
1931
01:15:13,886 --> 01:15:15,387
Yeah, that was a creak.
1932
01:15:16,471 --> 01:15:18,265
(ROARS)
(BOTH SCREAMING)
1933
01:15:20,517 --> 01:15:22,519
JAMES: What is that?
1934
01:15:23,896 --> 01:15:25,939
What is that? Is that bile? Ew!
1935
01:15:26,023 --> 01:15:28,066
I don't know.
It's cold.
1936
01:15:28,150 --> 01:15:29,401
Sniff it.
1937
01:15:29,484 --> 01:15:31,945
No. You sniff it.
1938
01:15:32,988 --> 01:15:34,031
(SNIFFS) EW!
1939
01:15:34,114 --> 01:15:35,782
What?
It smells like puke.
1940
01:15:35,866 --> 01:15:36,867
Ew! Ew!
1941
01:15:36,950 --> 01:15:38,619
Don't get it on me! Ew!
1942
01:15:39,953 --> 01:15:41,622
(SCREAMING)
1943
01:15:49,296 --> 01:15:50,589
It's in my eyes!
Dude!
1944
01:15:50,672 --> 01:15:53,008
It's in my mouth!
He's gone!
1945
01:15:53,091 --> 01:15:55,260
Where is he?
He's fucking gone!
1946
01:15:55,344 --> 01:15:57,554
JAY: Shit! Shit!
Shit! Shit!
1947
01:15:57,638 --> 01:15:59,640
(DEMON GROWLING)
(SCREAMING)
1948
01:16:07,022 --> 01:16:09,650
Please, God!
Jesus,Jesus!
1949
01:16:10,859 --> 01:16:12,611
(GROWLING)
1950
01:16:14,613 --> 01:16:15,739
(SNARLING)
1951
01:16:17,282 --> 01:16:18,283
Fuck.
1952
01:16:19,034 --> 01:16:20,744
Jonah!
Jonah!
1953
01:16:20,827 --> 01:16:22,913
Jonah, stop this!
1954
01:16:23,038 --> 01:16:24,581
Please! Jonah, where
the fuck are you?
1955
01:16:24,665 --> 01:16:26,333
Why did you vomit on us!
1956
01:16:27,292 --> 01:16:29,670
(DEMONIC GROWL)
(JAMES YELLS)
1957
01:16:29,753 --> 01:16:31,672
Bad Jonah! Stop!
1958
01:16:31,755 --> 01:16:33,590
Stop eating him!
(HISSES)
1959
01:16:33,674 --> 01:16:35,676
Watch out!
He's super strong!
1960
01:16:35,801 --> 01:16:36,802
Aah!
1961
01:16:38,220 --> 01:16:39,263
Shit!
1962
01:16:39,346 --> 01:16:41,515
What is happen...
(JONAH ROARS)
1963
01:16:41,598 --> 01:16:42,766
SETH: Oh, no!
1964
01:16:42,849 --> 01:16:44,601
(DEMONIC VOICE) I'm gonna
tittie-fuck you, Seth.
1965
01:16:44,685 --> 01:16:46,103
Don't tittie-fuck me!
1966
01:16:46,186 --> 01:16:47,646
What are they,
big B's or small C's?
1967
01:16:47,729 --> 01:16:50,274
I'm gonna push
your titties together.
1968
01:16:50,357 --> 01:16:51,984
Push 'em together!
1969
01:16:52,067 --> 01:16:53,652
JAMES: I'll get you
something to help!
1970
01:16:53,735 --> 01:16:54,736
LWlpass
you something!
1971
01:16:54,820 --> 01:16:55,862
Okay, pass it to me.
1972
01:16:56,530 --> 01:16:58,490
OW! Fuck! Shit!
1973
01:16:59,700 --> 01:17:01,451
(JONAH GROWLING)
1974
01:17:01,535 --> 01:17:02,536
Aah! Oh!
1975
01:17:04,538 --> 01:17:05,622
Seth!
(SETH GROANING)
1976
01:17:07,207 --> 01:17:09,209
We're getting crazy!
1977
01:17:13,380 --> 01:17:15,048
(DEMON GROWLING)
1978
01:17:15,132 --> 01:17:16,383
Come on! Come on!
1979
01:17:16,717 --> 01:17:17,718
(GROWLING)
1980
01:17:17,801 --> 01:17:20,304
Jesus,open,
God damn you, open!
1981
01:17:20,387 --> 01:17:21,888
(ROARING)
1982
01:17:23,640 --> 01:17:25,475
No,no,no,no.
1983
01:17:25,726 --> 01:17:27,019
(CRAIG SCREAMING)
1984
01:17:31,273 --> 01:17:32,733
Jesus“.
1985
01:17:33,233 --> 01:17:35,610
Oh, fuck.
1986
01:17:36,069 --> 01:17:37,779
We gotta hide. We gotta hide.
I know!
1987
01:17:37,904 --> 01:17:39,239
He's coming! He's coming!
I know he's coming!
1988
01:17:39,281 --> 01:17:40,824
I don't know what the fuck to do!
(JONAH GROWLING)
1989
01:17:40,907 --> 01:17:42,659
I don't know...
1990
01:17:42,951 --> 01:17:44,411
Where are you going?
1991
01:17:44,786 --> 01:17:46,413
Shit.
1992
01:17:46,621 --> 01:17:48,999
(HANGERS CLACKING)
(SETH MUTTERS INDISTINCTLY)
1993
01:17:49,583 --> 01:17:51,585
(PANTING)
1994
01:17:54,963 --> 01:17:56,923
(QUIETLY) Please go away.
He's sniffing.
1995
01:17:57,674 --> 01:17:58,675
SETH:
I'm so scared, James.
1996
01:17:58,759 --> 01:17:59,885
JAMES: Be quiet.
1997
01:17:59,968 --> 01:18:01,386
(BREATHING HEAVILY)
1998
01:18:01,428 --> 01:18:03,180
You're breathing really loud.
Am I?
1999
01:18:03,555 --> 01:18:04,723
Don't breathe through your mouth.
Okay.
2000
01:18:05,015 --> 01:18:06,099
(RAPID PANTING)
2001
01:18:07,100 --> 01:18:09,936
Now you're doing loud
nose breathing. Am I?
2002
01:18:10,020 --> 01:18:11,813
I don't know where else
to breathe from.
2003
01:18:13,440 --> 01:18:14,566
Is that...
Seth.
2004
01:18:14,649 --> 01:18:16,234
(GROWLING)
2005
01:18:16,735 --> 01:18:19,529
(BREATHING LOUDLY)
2006
01:18:19,613 --> 01:18:21,198
JAMES: Oh, shit.
Don't move.
2007
01:18:21,281 --> 01:18:22,908
Oh, shit, he's coming right this way.
Oh, shit.
2008
01:18:22,991 --> 01:18:24,284
Oh, shit. Oh, shit.
2009
01:18:25,077 --> 01:18:26,745
(GROWLING)
2010
01:18:27,871 --> 01:18:28,955
(YELLING)
2011
01:18:31,875 --> 01:18:33,794
SETH: Get out of my way!
Move! Move!
2012
01:18:33,877 --> 01:18:35,837
(BOTH GRUNTING)
SETH: Fuck!
2013
01:18:38,965 --> 01:18:39,966
You Okay?
2014
01:18:40,050 --> 01:18:41,218
Come on!
2015
01:18:41,301 --> 01:18:45,305
Let's go. Let's go.
Okay. Okay. Okay.
2016
01:18:45,639 --> 01:18:47,099
(BOTH SCREAMING)
2017
01:18:47,849 --> 01:18:49,643
What the fuck! What are you doing?
(SCREAMING)
2018
01:18:49,726 --> 01:18:51,144
What are you doing?
What are you doing?
2019
01:18:51,228 --> 01:18:52,729
There's a fuckin'
demon chasing us!
2020
01:18:52,813 --> 01:18:54,398
A demon?
Demon?
2021
01:18:54,481 --> 01:18:57,317
What the fuck happened to you guys?
That!
2022
01:18:57,401 --> 01:18:58,819
It's Jonah!
He's possessed!
2023
01:18:58,902 --> 01:19:00,153
He's crazy!
2024
01:19:01,113 --> 01:19:03,490
Oh, fuck!
You brained him.
2025
01:19:03,573 --> 01:19:05,283
Is that... I was supposed
to do that, right?
2026
01:19:05,367 --> 01:19:06,451
SETH: Yeah.
2027
01:19:06,535 --> 01:19:07,994
(ROARING)
(ALL SCREAMING)
2028
01:19:09,830 --> 01:19:11,665
Motherfucker.
2029
01:19:12,374 --> 01:19:13,917
JAY: Fasten!
SETH:HuHw
2030
01:19:14,000 --> 01:19:15,377
Fasten,
God damn you, bastard!
2031
01:19:15,460 --> 01:19:16,461
SETH: He's gonna be fuckin'
2032
01:19:16,545 --> 01:19:17,921
bad news
when he wakes up!
2033
01:19:18,004 --> 01:19:19,840
He's fuckin' strong.
2034
01:19:19,923 --> 01:19:21,591
My side's good.
Oh, shit!
2035
01:19:21,675 --> 01:19:23,260
All right,
I'll fuckin' hit him.
2036
01:19:23,343 --> 01:19:24,928
Fuck! Come on, come on! Okay!
2037
01:19:30,350 --> 01:19:32,811
This shit's
cray cray, guys.
2038
01:19:33,103 --> 01:19:36,064
I mean, it's, like,
the real, like Apocalypse.
2039
01:19:36,148 --> 01:19:38,483
It's, like,
the Book of Revelations,
2040
01:19:38,567 --> 01:19:40,735
like that means
there's a God.
2041
01:19:40,819 --> 01:19:42,112
Right?
2042
01:19:42,195 --> 01:19:44,865
I haven't led my life as though
there's a God this whole time.
2043
01:19:44,948 --> 01:19:47,451
Who fuckin' saw that coming?
That there's actually a God?
2044
01:19:47,534 --> 01:19:50,829
I'd say 95%
of the planet.
2045
01:19:52,372 --> 01:19:54,499
Jesus fucking Christ, man.
2046
01:19:54,583 --> 01:19:56,626
You might want to stay
away from saying that.
2047
01:19:56,710 --> 01:19:59,171
"Jesus fucking Christ"?
Why?
2048
01:19:59,296 --> 01:20:00,964
Why can't I say that? One
of the Ten Commandments.
2049
01:20:01,047 --> 01:20:03,884
"Thou shall not take the name
of the Lord thy God in vain."
2050
01:20:03,967 --> 01:20:05,385
Jesus isn't the name
of the Lord.
2051
01:20:05,469 --> 01:20:06,678
God is name
of the Lord.
2052
01:20:06,761 --> 01:20:08,805
Jesus, God,
it's all the same.
2053
01:20:08,889 --> 01:20:11,183
It's the Trinity.
Father, Son, Holy Ghost.
2054
01:20:11,266 --> 01:20:13,143
It's like Neapolitan
ice cream.
2055
01:20:13,226 --> 01:20:14,853
I don't even know what
the fucking Commandments are.
2056
01:20:14,936 --> 01:20:19,065
Guys, I think this is sort of bullshit,
because we're all good people.
2057
01:20:19,399 --> 01:20:22,319
I can look at each one of you
in the eye, I know you're good.
2058
01:20:22,402 --> 01:20:24,029
I'm good.
We're four actors.
2059
01:20:24,112 --> 01:20:26,072
We bring joy
to people's lives.
2060
01:20:26,156 --> 01:20:27,866
Yeah, but we don't
do it for free.
2061
01:20:27,949 --> 01:20:32,162
We get paid handsomely, much higher
than the average profession.
2062
01:20:32,245 --> 01:20:33,997
It's not like it was just
handed to any of us.
2063
01:20:34,080 --> 01:20:35,707
We've worked really
hard to be here.
2064
01:20:35,790 --> 01:20:37,918
Yeah, pretend like
it's hot when it's cold.
2065
01:20:38,460 --> 01:20:40,587
You sitting on the beach,
it's freezing,
2066
01:20:40,670 --> 01:20:44,758
you in your drawers, talking about
something, everybody's surfing.
2067
01:20:44,841 --> 01:20:47,052
(WHISPERS) I think God
might have just fucked up,
2068
01:20:47,135 --> 01:20:50,180
made a mistake, and left
us behind by accident.
2069
01:20:50,263 --> 01:20:52,224
I mean, He's got a lot
of shit on His plate.
2070
01:20:52,307 --> 01:20:55,393
It's not an oversight,
it's not a mistake, okay?
2071
01:20:55,477 --> 01:20:59,648
We got to face facts. We're here, and
there's a reason we're all here.
2072
01:20:59,731 --> 01:21:02,025
Why are you so sure?
2073
01:21:02,108 --> 01:21:04,194
I've done things, man. I...
2074
01:21:07,322 --> 01:21:09,074
I gouged a man's
eyeballs out.
2075
01:21:09,157 --> 01:21:10,909
What the...
Fuck off.
2076
01:21:10,992 --> 01:21:12,744
Craig.
Well, I was a kid, man.
2077
01:21:12,827 --> 01:21:15,038
It was a fuckin' bar fight.
2078
01:21:15,121 --> 01:21:16,456
It was a bad
foosball game.
2079
01:21:16,540 --> 01:21:19,209
He said I didn't call spinneys,
and I fuckin' called spinneys.
2080
01:21:19,292 --> 01:21:22,128
He got all in my face, and I smashed
a bottle across his face...
2081
01:21:23,046 --> 01:21:24,714
(EXHALES DEEPLY) ...and the
first eyeball was an accident,
2082
01:21:24,798 --> 01:21:27,425
but then I was, like, fuck it,
and I went for the second one.
2083
01:21:27,509 --> 01:21:29,553
It was fucked up.
But you know what?
2084
01:21:29,636 --> 01:21:34,099
That shit happens. I'm saying, that's...
I think that's why I'm here.
2085
01:21:34,182 --> 01:21:36,226
I got to admit something.
2086
01:21:36,309 --> 01:21:37,602
I, uh...
2087
01:21:39,479 --> 01:21:40,897
I fucked Lindsay Lohan.
2088
01:21:40,981 --> 01:21:43,858
She was fucked up.
She was high.
2089
01:21:43,942 --> 01:21:45,193
It was at
the Chateau Marmont,
2090
01:21:45,277 --> 01:21:46,528
and she kept banging
on my door.
2091
01:21:46,736 --> 01:21:47,988
(GRUNTS)
2092
01:21:48,071 --> 01:21:49,781
She kept calling
me Jake Gyllenhaal.
2093
01:21:49,864 --> 01:21:51,157
That's fucked up.
2094
01:21:51,241 --> 01:21:54,744
Yeah, I said, "Call me
the Prince of Persia."
2095
01:21:54,828 --> 01:21:56,037
See, that's what
I'm saying, man.
2096
01:21:56,121 --> 01:21:58,081
We've all done bad shit,
you know?
2097
01:21:58,164 --> 01:22:01,751
We've done more bad shit than
good in our lives, and (SIGHS)
2098
01:22:03,169 --> 01:22:06,006
it's time to
pay the piper.
2099
01:22:06,965 --> 01:22:08,133
JAMES: Whoa, shit!
2100
01:22:08,216 --> 01:22:10,218
Something's wrong.
2101
01:22:11,177 --> 01:22:12,470
(WHISPERS)
God did this.
2102
01:22:12,512 --> 01:22:16,141
He gave us light, and then He took it away.
(JONAH GROWLING)
2103
01:22:16,224 --> 01:22:17,601
You hear that?
2104
01:22:17,684 --> 01:22:19,769
It's the soundtrack
of us going insane.
2105
01:22:19,853 --> 01:22:22,689
Damn, I wish there was something
we could do to help him.
2106
01:22:23,732 --> 01:22:25,358
I know what we can do.
2107
01:22:34,200 --> 01:22:36,077
JAY: The fuckin' stench.
2108
01:22:36,369 --> 01:22:37,996
(GROWLING)
2109
01:22:49,883 --> 01:22:50,884
Jonah Hill?
2110
01:22:52,594 --> 01:22:53,928
Jonah?
2111
01:22:54,554 --> 01:22:56,598
(LAUGHING)
2112
01:22:57,140 --> 01:22:58,516
Jonah Hill.
2113
01:22:58,600 --> 01:23:00,727
(IN DEMONIC VOICE)
Jonah Hill is no more.
2114
01:23:01,978 --> 01:23:03,063
Demon?
2115
01:23:03,146 --> 01:23:04,981
Yes?
2116
01:23:05,065 --> 01:23:06,983
(LAUGHING)
Fuck. That's not good.
2117
01:23:07,067 --> 01:23:08,360
That's not good.
2118
01:23:09,069 --> 01:23:10,654
Jay, you fool.
2119
01:23:10,737 --> 01:23:13,198
I say unto thee,
2120
01:23:13,740 --> 01:23:16,159
the power of Christ
compels you!
2121
01:23:16,242 --> 01:23:19,079
Oh, does it?
Does it compel me?
2122
01:23:19,162 --> 01:23:21,206
The power of Christ
compels you!
2123
01:23:21,289 --> 01:23:22,290
Does it, Jay?
2124
01:23:22,374 --> 01:23:24,292
The power of Christ
compels you!
2125
01:23:24,376 --> 01:23:26,378
Is the power of Christ compelling me?
Is that what's happening?
2126
01:23:26,503 --> 01:23:29,005
The power of Christ compels you!
(LAUGHING)
2127
01:23:29,089 --> 01:23:31,508
Guess what?
It's not that compelling.
2128
01:23:31,591 --> 01:23:33,760
SETH: Jay, you
serious right now?
2129
01:23:33,843 --> 01:23:36,137
That's your fuckin' plan? You're gonna
repeat lines from The Exorcist?
2130
01:23:36,221 --> 01:23:38,390
I would assume they did
their fuckin' research.
2131
01:23:38,473 --> 01:23:40,308
It's a movie!
It's a manual.
2132
01:23:40,433 --> 01:23:42,310
It's a fuckin' training manual.
(CONTINUES LAUGHING)
2133
01:23:44,229 --> 01:23:45,689
I say unto thee,
2134
01:23:45,980 --> 01:23:48,441
the power of Christ
compels you!
2135
01:23:48,525 --> 01:23:50,735
The power of Christ
compels you!
2136
01:23:51,569 --> 01:23:53,738
The power of Christ
compels you!
2137
01:23:53,822 --> 01:23:55,365
Geez, it hurts
a little bit.
2138
01:23:55,448 --> 01:23:56,700
It's, like,
this little sting.
2139
01:23:56,783 --> 01:23:59,202
The power of Christ
compels you!
2140
01:23:59,285 --> 01:24:00,370
Seriously, fuck off.
2141
01:24:00,453 --> 01:24:02,956
The power of Christ
compels you!
2142
01:24:03,039 --> 01:24:04,499
(THUNDER RUMBLING)
(BED CREAKING)
2143
01:24:05,250 --> 01:24:06,626
Jay?
2144
01:24:06,835 --> 01:24:08,503
The power of Christ
compels you!
2145
01:24:08,586 --> 01:24:09,629
CRAIG: Holy shit!
2146
01:24:09,671 --> 01:24:11,256
You're pissing him off, man.
Just stop it!
2147
01:24:11,339 --> 01:24:13,133
Jay! The power of
Christ compels you!
2148
01:24:13,675 --> 01:24:15,135
(ALL CLAMORING)
2149
01:24:15,635 --> 01:24:17,429
The power of...
Get the fuck down!
2150
01:24:17,554 --> 01:24:19,597
Don't fucking push me, asshole!
Geez, man!
2151
01:24:19,681 --> 01:24:20,682
Fuck you! Easy!
2152
01:24:20,765 --> 01:24:21,850
You're a fucking
asshole, you liar!
2153
01:24:21,933 --> 01:24:22,934
Still?
2154
01:24:23,017 --> 01:24:24,018
Yes. Still? Yes.
2155
01:24:24,102 --> 01:24:25,562
Guys, guys, we got
a possessed guy here!
2156
01:24:25,645 --> 01:24:27,230
Do we have to argue
about this right now?
2157
01:24:27,313 --> 01:24:28,273
Let 'em fight.
2158
01:24:28,356 --> 01:24:29,899
We got an exorcism
to finish. Hello?
2159
01:24:29,983 --> 01:24:31,234
Do you want to know why
I didn't stay with you?
2160
01:24:31,317 --> 01:24:32,861
Yeah.
You fuckin' changed.
2161
01:24:32,944 --> 01:24:35,822
You're a fuckin'
sell-out.
2162
01:24:35,905 --> 01:24:38,158
You did fuckin' sell out.
Everyone says.
2163
01:24:38,241 --> 01:24:42,078
At least I did change! You act like
you're fucking 18 years old still, Jay!
2164
01:24:42,162 --> 01:24:44,497
Grow up, Jay. That's why
he's yelling at you.
2165
01:24:44,581 --> 01:24:46,624
You've been holding me
back this whole time!
2166
01:24:46,708 --> 01:24:48,293
That means fuck you.
2167
01:24:48,376 --> 01:24:50,420
JAMES: Come on, guys! Come on!
2168
01:24:50,503 --> 01:24:51,671
(BOTH GRUNTING)
2169
01:24:51,755 --> 01:24:53,757
JAY: Fuck you,
you piece of shit!
2170
01:24:57,135 --> 01:24:58,303
JAMES: Everybody, out!
2171
01:24:58,386 --> 01:24:59,637
Craig, stop 'em!
2172
01:24:59,721 --> 01:25:01,514
Get apart!
SETH: Oh, now it's on.
2173
01:25:01,598 --> 01:25:04,017
Yo! What the fuck
is all this, Franco?
2174
01:25:05,310 --> 01:25:06,936
Uh, looks like food.
How'd that get there?
2175
01:25:07,020 --> 01:25:09,397
SETH: What?
You have more food?
2176
01:25:09,481 --> 01:25:10,690
You knew he had
extra food?
2177
01:25:10,774 --> 01:25:12,484
Yeah, he gave me
one cracker.
2178
01:25:12,567 --> 01:25:14,110
I would have sucked a
dick for half a cracker.
2179
01:25:14,194 --> 01:25:16,446
All right, well, maybe I didn't want
you to suck my dick, all right?
2180
01:25:16,571 --> 01:25:17,697
Look“. CRAIG: I didn't
want to suck it!
2181
01:25:17,822 --> 01:25:19,449
That's the point of what I said!
It was my fucking food!
2182
01:25:19,532 --> 01:25:20,533
SETH: Guys, guys, guys, fire!
2183
01:25:20,617 --> 01:25:21,659
JAY: Boys, boys, boys...
2184
01:25:21,743 --> 01:25:23,745
Shit!
Jonah's on fire!
2185
01:25:23,870 --> 01:25:25,872
(SHOUTING INDISTINCTLY)
2186
01:25:29,542 --> 01:25:30,877
Put it out!
2187
01:25:30,960 --> 01:25:32,378
Use your mouth!
Put it out!
2188
01:25:33,880 --> 01:25:35,173
(ALL SCREAM)
2189
01:25:41,262 --> 01:25:42,722
Go, go, go, go, 90!
2190
01:25:47,727 --> 01:25:48,895
(SCREAMING)
2191
01:25:51,731 --> 01:25:53,191
Where is he? Where is he?
Where is he?
2192
01:25:53,274 --> 01:25:54,442
Go, go, go!
2193
01:25:54,526 --> 01:25:55,902
(INDISTINCT SHOUTING)
2194
01:25:57,028 --> 01:25:58,655
Go, go, go, go, 90!
2195
01:25:58,738 --> 01:26:00,490
Go, get outside!
2196
01:26:00,573 --> 01:26:02,492
Shit, shit, shit,
shit, shit, shit!
2197
01:26:02,575 --> 01:26:03,576
Go, go on!
2198
01:26:03,660 --> 01:26:05,703
Come on, hurry up,
he's coming!
2199
01:26:05,787 --> 01:26:07,497
He's coming!
2200
01:26:08,581 --> 01:26:10,208
(GROWLING)
2201
01:26:11,835 --> 01:26:13,253
(ALL SHOUTING)
2202
01:26:20,635 --> 01:26:22,262
JAMES:
Watch out, watch out!
2203
01:26:22,637 --> 01:26:24,973
Oh, my fortress!
2204
01:26:25,890 --> 01:26:28,726
Uh, boys, I just want
to point out, um,
2205
01:26:28,810 --> 01:26:30,270
we're out
in the open now.
2206
01:26:31,020 --> 01:26:32,105
Oh, fuck.
Shit, shit, shit.
2207
01:26:32,188 --> 01:26:34,357
Oh, shit.
Hey, hey, hey.
2208
01:26:34,440 --> 01:26:35,567
My Prius.
Yeah!
2209
01:26:35,650 --> 01:26:37,443
Yeah!
Yes!
2210
01:26:37,569 --> 01:26:38,736
(ALARM CHIRPS)
(ALL EXCLAIM)
2211
01:26:40,613 --> 01:26:41,698
JAMES: What is that?
2212
01:26:42,448 --> 01:26:44,450
No fucking way.
2213
01:26:44,576 --> 01:26:46,536
(ROARS) JAMES: We're screwed!
2214
01:26:46,619 --> 01:26:49,080
We're totally
screwed, guys.
2215
01:26:51,916 --> 01:26:52,917
I got this.
2216
01:26:53,001 --> 01:26:54,544
What?
I'll distract the thing.
2217
01:26:54,627 --> 01:26:56,588
I'll run over there
screaming and shit,
2218
01:26:56,671 --> 01:27:00,300
and that should give you enough
time to get to the garage.
2219
01:27:00,383 --> 01:27:02,010
Well, yeah, but that
thing can kill you.
2220
01:27:02,093 --> 01:27:05,471
Maybe I deserve it. I've
been shitty my whole life.
2221
01:27:05,555 --> 01:27:07,807
Being selfish,
only doing shit for me.
2222
01:27:07,891 --> 01:27:10,184
Maybe it's only right
that the last thing I do
2223
01:27:10,268 --> 01:27:13,354
on this planet
isn't for me.
2224
01:27:13,605 --> 01:27:14,856
It's for you guys.
2225
01:27:14,939 --> 01:27:16,649
Craig, you don't
have to do that.
2226
01:27:16,733 --> 01:27:18,026
Thank you
very much, Craig.
2227
01:27:18,109 --> 01:27:19,861
I appreciate that.
You spineless...
2228
01:27:20,612 --> 01:27:22,530
I love you guys.
2229
01:27:22,739 --> 01:27:24,365
You're my best friends.
2230
01:27:24,449 --> 01:27:26,451
You're a real
mensch, Craig.
2231
01:27:26,534 --> 01:27:28,703
See you on
the other side.
2232
01:27:30,288 --> 01:27:31,497
(SNARLS)
2233
01:27:33,207 --> 01:27:36,336
Hey, hey, asshole!
Hey, come on!
2234
01:27:36,419 --> 01:27:38,463
Pickle dick, demonic-looking
motherfucker.
2235
01:27:38,546 --> 01:27:40,673
Nobody's scared of you.
You ain't a raccoon!
2236
01:27:40,757 --> 01:27:42,550
Yeah, bring
your ass, bitch!
2237
01:27:42,634 --> 01:27:45,511
Nobody's scared of you!
I'm Craig fucking Robinson!
2238
01:27:45,720 --> 01:27:46,846
Yeah.
2239
01:27:46,930 --> 01:27:48,097
What's he gonna do?
Craig.
2240
01:27:48,181 --> 01:27:51,225
I hope you like big dick,
motherfucker,
2241
01:27:51,309 --> 01:27:53,144
'cause I'm about
to fuck you raw!
2242
01:27:53,227 --> 01:27:55,521
For the last goddamn time!
2243
01:27:56,022 --> 01:27:57,649
Take your panties off!
2244
01:28:01,819 --> 01:28:02,904
(GROWLS)
2245
01:28:08,493 --> 01:28:10,119
Fuck,yeah!
2246
01:28:10,203 --> 01:28:11,537
(LAUGHS)
2247
01:28:12,497 --> 01:28:13,456
It worked.
2248
01:28:13,539 --> 01:28:15,041
What's happening?
2249
01:28:15,124 --> 01:28:17,126
Craig! Craig!
2250
01:28:21,547 --> 01:28:23,216
(LAUGHING)
2251
01:28:30,098 --> 01:28:33,184
Holy shit, do you guys
realize what this means?
2252
01:28:33,267 --> 01:28:34,769
That Craig was an angel
this whole time?
2253
01:28:34,894 --> 01:28:37,772
No, no, it means we can
still be saved. No, no.
2254
01:28:39,732 --> 01:28:42,610
I don't fucking get it, why
does Craig get saved? I mean...
2255
01:28:42,694 --> 01:28:45,029
Craig sacrificed
himself for us,
2256
01:28:45,113 --> 01:28:46,906
which means that
there's still hope.
2257
01:28:47,031 --> 01:28:48,825
That means we can be redeemed.
SETH: Yeah.
2258
01:28:48,908 --> 01:28:50,660
It means that if we're
actually nice to each other,
2259
01:28:50,743 --> 01:28:53,538
we can get sucked up into Heaven, too.
That's the deal.
2260
01:28:53,621 --> 01:28:55,331
All right, I got it,
let's just head out
2261
01:28:55,415 --> 01:28:57,667
to my place in Malibu.
Yeah.
2262
01:28:57,750 --> 01:29:00,920
Just survive long enough until
we do enough good things
2263
01:29:01,004 --> 01:29:03,047
and they accumulate
or do enough sacrifices,
2264
01:29:03,131 --> 01:29:04,257
and we'll all go
to Heaven together.
2265
01:29:04,340 --> 01:29:06,300
That's a great
idea, James.
2266
01:29:06,384 --> 01:29:08,052
Seriously, really,
really goodidea.
2267
01:29:08,136 --> 01:29:09,971
Really, you're
such a smart guy.
2268
01:29:10,054 --> 01:29:12,098
(CHUCKLES) Thanks, Seth,
you're such a nice guy.
2269
01:29:12,390 --> 01:29:13,391
You got a great smile.
2270
01:29:13,474 --> 01:29:15,143
Thanks, man.
And an awesome laugh.
2271
01:29:15,268 --> 01:29:17,228
I've heard it's annoying. How
about that Jay back there, man?
2272
01:29:17,353 --> 01:29:18,938
SETH: Dude, Jay, you kidding me?
Come on. Oh, come on.
2273
01:29:19,022 --> 01:29:20,314
JAMES: One of a kind.
Get out of here.
2274
01:29:20,398 --> 01:29:21,607
You got a cool body.
2275
01:29:21,691 --> 01:29:23,151
You can walk around with
your shirt off anytime.
2276
01:29:23,234 --> 01:29:24,861
It's not working,
this isn't working.
2277
01:29:24,944 --> 01:29:26,779
What, you thought we would
be Raptured already?
2278
01:29:26,863 --> 01:29:27,905
I thought it would
happen already.
2279
01:29:27,989 --> 01:29:29,115
JAY: No, we've just
been talking nice.
2280
01:29:29,198 --> 01:29:31,075
Talking nice doesn't
get you into Heaven.
2281
01:29:31,159 --> 01:29:33,286
Doesn't hurt to smile...
(TIRES SCREECHING)
2282
01:29:35,913 --> 01:29:36,914
What the fuck?
2283
01:29:36,998 --> 01:29:38,332
SETH: (GROANS)
You guys okay?
2284
01:29:38,416 --> 01:29:40,126
Oh, shit.
Christ.
2285
01:29:40,376 --> 01:29:41,753
(ALL SHOUTING)
2286
01:29:50,344 --> 01:29:51,804
SETH: Franco!
WOMAN: Come on!
2287
01:29:54,724 --> 01:29:56,350
Yo, cut his fucking
head off!
2288
01:29:56,434 --> 01:29:57,560
What's going on?
2289
01:29:57,643 --> 01:29:58,853
(CHAINSAW REVVING)
2290
01:29:58,936 --> 01:30:00,897
No!
2291
01:30:00,980 --> 01:30:02,190
MA -
No! N" Sm'
2292
01:30:09,781 --> 01:30:11,157
(HIP-HOP MUSIC PLAYING)
2293
01:30:19,707 --> 01:30:20,875
Danny?
2294
01:30:20,958 --> 01:30:22,168
What the fuck?
2295
01:30:22,251 --> 01:30:23,377
You guys are
still alive?
2296
01:30:23,461 --> 01:30:24,545
Yeah.
2297
01:30:24,629 --> 01:30:26,714
Holy shit,
I didn't expect that.
2298
01:30:26,798 --> 01:30:28,716
Fuck out here.
2299
01:30:29,634 --> 01:30:30,676
Get...
2300
01:30:30,802 --> 01:30:32,553
DANNY: Shit, I can't believe
you guys are here. Oh, Jesus.
2301
01:30:32,637 --> 01:30:36,390
That's fucking crazy, and your
timing couldn't be more perfect.
2302
01:30:36,766 --> 01:30:39,352
It's been a long time
since any of us have eaten,
2303
01:30:39,435 --> 01:30:42,230
and you three gentlemen
look delicious.
2304
01:30:42,313 --> 01:30:43,439
What does that
have to do with us?
2305
01:30:43,523 --> 01:30:45,358
The fuck are you talking about?
(CHUCKLES)
2306
01:30:45,441 --> 01:30:47,110
I'm a cannibal, hombre.
2307
01:30:47,193 --> 01:30:48,986
We're gonna
fucking eat your ass.
2308
01:30:49,070 --> 01:30:50,655
Fuck you, you can't eat us.
Fuck that, man.
2309
01:30:50,738 --> 01:30:53,574
I do whatever the fuck
I want, when I want.
2310
01:30:53,658 --> 01:30:55,243
I butt-fucked this dude.
2311
01:30:56,410 --> 01:30:57,411
See that?
2312
01:30:57,495 --> 01:30:59,080
I fucking slide
right in that shit.
2313
01:30:59,163 --> 01:31:01,916
I do whatever I want.
This is my gimp.
2314
01:31:01,999 --> 01:31:03,543
Channing,
introduce yourself.
2315
01:31:03,835 --> 01:31:04,919
Hey, what's up, guys?
2316
01:31:05,002 --> 01:31:06,420
Y'all cool?
2317
01:31:06,504 --> 01:31:07,922
That's Chanting Tatum.
2318
01:31:08,005 --> 01:31:09,757
That's Channing Tatum,
dude. What the fuck?
2319
01:31:09,841 --> 01:31:11,968
Channing fucking Tatum. I found
him wandering on the freeway.
2320
01:31:12,051 --> 01:31:14,720
I collected him, made him my bitch.
Get off my dick.
2321
01:31:14,804 --> 01:31:17,640
I call him
Channing Tate-yum.
2322
01:31:17,723 --> 01:31:18,808
Hard-core, man.
2323
01:31:18,891 --> 01:31:19,976
I got him trained good.
2324
01:31:20,059 --> 01:31:21,686
Watch, he does tricks.
Wait, shake hands.
2325
01:31:21,769 --> 01:31:22,979
(WHISPERS)
All right, Seth.
2326
01:31:23,062 --> 01:31:24,272
DANNY:
Fucking roll over.
2327
01:31:24,355 --> 01:31:25,857
I'm gonna create a diversion.
Yeah.
2328
01:31:25,940 --> 01:31:27,817
You and Jay make a run for it.
BOTH: What?
2329
01:31:27,900 --> 01:31:29,443
Danny's gonna eat you.
2330
01:31:29,527 --> 01:31:32,488
Listen, full-on sacrifice
for you, dawg,
2331
01:31:32,613 --> 01:31:34,615
like the ending to Pineapple 2.
DANNY: Yeah, lick that.
2332
01:31:34,699 --> 01:31:36,284
That's Channing
fucking Tatum, dawg.
2333
01:31:36,742 --> 01:31:37,869
I love him.
2334
01:31:37,952 --> 01:31:40,913
That's fucking G.l. Joe, dude.
Fucking loves me. (CHUCKLES)
2335
01:31:41,247 --> 01:31:43,749
Danny! We're friends!
You can't eat us!
2336
01:31:43,833 --> 01:31:48,379
I'd love to catch up, but we're
fucking starving, so let's eat!
2337
01:31:48,462 --> 01:31:49,505
Fuck you!
(SCREAMS)
2338
01:31:49,589 --> 01:31:51,090
(CHAINSAW REVVING)
2339
01:31:51,299 --> 01:31:52,717
Run!
2340
01:31:54,969 --> 01:31:56,012
Eat this!
2341
01:31:56,846 --> 01:31:59,515
OW! Shit, fuck!
Get him!
2342
01:31:59,599 --> 01:32:00,683
(GRUNTS)
2343
01:32:00,766 --> 01:32:02,018
Who wants it,
you piece of shit?
2344
01:32:02,101 --> 01:32:03,394
Man, we should go back.
2345
01:32:03,436 --> 01:32:04,812
We should go back and help him.
We should go back.
2346
01:32:06,272 --> 01:32:07,440
(GRUNTS)
2347
01:32:08,649 --> 01:32:09,692
MAN: Fucking Rapture.
2348
01:32:09,775 --> 01:32:11,777
Holy shit!
It worked!
2349
01:32:16,324 --> 01:32:17,742
What the fuck?
2350
01:32:17,825 --> 01:32:20,161
Go to hell, McBride!
2351
01:32:20,244 --> 01:32:21,829
FUCK you!
2352
01:32:22,121 --> 01:32:23,206
(LAUGHS)
2353
01:32:23,831 --> 01:32:25,750
Suck my dick!
2354
01:32:26,417 --> 01:32:27,460
Ah...
2355
01:32:28,294 --> 01:32:29,420
Oh!
2356
01:32:30,213 --> 01:32:31,839
Oh, shit. JAMES: What happened?
2357
01:32:31,923 --> 01:32:34,091
What did I do?
Take me back!
2358
01:32:34,175 --> 01:32:35,176
What did I do?
2359
01:32:35,259 --> 01:32:36,260
DANNY: I'll tell you
what happened, Franco.
2360
01:32:36,344 --> 01:32:38,346
You don't get to get
sucked up into Heaven
2361
01:32:38,429 --> 01:32:41,807
'cause you were being petty.
Tom Petty.
2362
01:32:41,891 --> 01:32:43,809
You may not have
invited me to your party,
2363
01:32:44,602 --> 01:32:46,187
but you're the guest
of honor at mine.
2364
01:32:46,270 --> 01:32:47,313
JAMES: What?
2365
01:32:48,439 --> 01:32:49,690
(SCREAMING)
2366
01:32:49,774 --> 01:32:50,775
(BOTH GROAN)
2367
01:32:50,858 --> 01:32:52,151
How fucking
crazy is this?
2368
01:32:52,360 --> 01:32:53,361
(SHRIEKS)
2369
01:32:53,486 --> 01:32:54,737
(JAMES SCREAMING)
2370
01:32:56,280 --> 01:32:57,990
DANNY: Seth, Jay!
2371
01:32:58,074 --> 01:32:59,700
JAY: Oh, shit, they're
running after us.
2372
01:32:59,784 --> 01:33:02,495
Oh, shit! Oh, shit!
Oh, shit! Run.
2373
01:33:02,578 --> 01:33:04,038
DANNY:
Bring them to me!
2374
01:33:04,121 --> 01:33:06,499
Fuck.
DANNY: Get 'em!
2375
01:33:06,999 --> 01:33:08,834
CANNIBAL 1:
Got to get Rogen.
2376
01:33:10,169 --> 01:33:11,128
Over here.
2377
01:33:11,254 --> 01:33:13,005
What? Over here, over here.
Here. What?
2378
01:33:13,089 --> 01:33:15,841
Shit, shit.
2379
01:33:16,509 --> 01:33:18,386
They're around
here somewhere.
2380
01:33:18,469 --> 01:33:20,304
CANNIBAL 2: They kept
running, you fucking idiots.
2381
01:33:20,805 --> 01:33:22,390
Shit, are they
still there?
2382
01:33:22,473 --> 01:33:24,016
I think they're gone.
Are they gone?
2383
01:33:24,058 --> 01:33:25,977
Oh, my God. Why did
Franco flip off Danny?
2384
01:33:26,060 --> 01:33:27,645
Why did he have
to do that, man?
2385
01:33:27,728 --> 01:33:28,771
He was in the clear.
2386
01:33:28,854 --> 01:33:30,356
That is textbook.
2387
01:33:30,439 --> 01:33:31,941
Vanity or...
2388
01:33:32,024 --> 01:33:33,276
Is it vanity?
Vanity or envy.
2389
01:33:33,359 --> 01:33:34,735
Is it envy or wrath?
2390
01:33:34,819 --> 01:33:36,821
It's any of them, man.
You can't do that.
2391
01:33:36,904 --> 01:33:38,489
It's being a sore winner,
is what it is,
2392
01:33:38,572 --> 01:33:39,865
more than anything.
That's exactly what it is.
2393
01:33:39,949 --> 01:33:40,950
You can't be a sore winner. No.
2394
01:33:41,742 --> 01:33:45,538
Well, this is another fine
mess we found ourselves in.
2395
01:33:48,916 --> 01:33:50,084
Fuck.
2396
01:33:50,501 --> 01:33:51,711
Listen, Jay...
2397
01:33:51,877 --> 01:33:53,671
(THUDDING)
Oh, shit.
2398
01:33:55,756 --> 01:33:57,925
Get out of here,
let's get out of here.
2399
01:33:58,259 --> 01:33:59,802
(CREATURE GROWLING)
2400
01:34:02,221 --> 01:34:05,391
Oh, you've got to be
fucking shitting me!
2401
01:34:05,558 --> 01:34:07,393
Oh, my God.
Oh, no.
2402
01:34:07,476 --> 01:34:09,186
Oh, my God.
Oh, no.
2403
01:34:09,270 --> 01:34:10,479
That thing's big.
2404
01:34:10,563 --> 01:34:11,689
Holy shit.
2405
01:34:11,772 --> 01:34:13,024
Oh, it's so big.
2406
01:34:13,107 --> 01:34:16,986
Oh, man.
Oh, Jesus.
2407
01:34:21,699 --> 01:34:23,075
(GROWLING)
2408
01:34:25,202 --> 01:34:26,329
We're gonna die, man.
Okay.
2409
01:34:26,412 --> 01:34:27,496
Okay, we're gonna die.
Uh...
2410
01:34:33,002 --> 01:34:34,920
Jesus!
Oh, no!
2411
01:34:35,629 --> 01:34:36,922
(GROWLING)
2412
01:34:40,593 --> 01:34:41,761
Shit.
Listen to me, man.
2413
01:34:41,844 --> 01:34:44,555
I'm a fucking idiot.
I put myself up.
2414
01:34:44,638 --> 01:34:45,973
I'm self-righteous.
2415
01:34:46,098 --> 01:34:47,558
I think I'm better than you.
No, no.
2416
01:34:47,641 --> 01:34:48,809
I was resistant
to change.
2417
01:34:48,934 --> 01:34:50,895
No. I should have
grown with you.
2418
01:34:50,978 --> 01:34:52,938
I should have
changed with you.
2419
01:34:53,022 --> 01:34:54,315
We should have
changed together.
2420
01:34:54,398 --> 01:34:57,777
I didn't like what I became
so I hated what you became.
2421
01:34:57,860 --> 01:34:59,612
It's fine, man.
It's fine.
2422
01:34:59,737 --> 01:35:01,530
I love you, Seth, fucking love you, buddy.
I love you, man.
2423
01:35:01,655 --> 01:35:03,074
I always loved you. Let's
die together, man.
2424
01:35:03,157 --> 01:35:04,992
Let's die together.
I love you, Jay.
2425
01:35:10,664 --> 01:35:12,416
(SCREECHING)
2426
01:35:12,750 --> 01:35:13,959
(GROWLING)
2427
01:35:15,753 --> 01:35:17,213
Holy shit, Jay,
all right!
2428
01:35:17,296 --> 01:35:18,339
Yeah, we did it!
2429
01:35:18,422 --> 01:35:19,799
I'm not getting
sucked up into Heaven!
2430
01:35:19,882 --> 01:35:21,092
What do you mean?
Why not?
2431
01:35:21,175 --> 01:35:22,760
I don't know why not!
2432
01:35:22,843 --> 01:35:23,928
Take my hand!
2433
01:35:24,011 --> 01:35:25,221
Okay, take me
with you, Jay!
2434
01:35:25,304 --> 01:35:26,889
I'll take you with me.
2435
01:35:27,014 --> 01:35:28,474
Ah!
Yay!
2436
01:35:28,557 --> 01:35:30,142
Yeah!
2437
01:35:30,309 --> 01:35:31,352
Ah!
2438
01:35:31,435 --> 01:35:32,478
Whoo!
2439
01:35:34,146 --> 01:35:35,689
Yeah!
It's working!
2440
01:35:35,773 --> 01:35:36,982
Yeah!
2441
01:35:41,612 --> 01:35:42,655
(ROARS)
2442
01:35:43,155 --> 01:35:44,281
(SCREAMS)
2443
01:35:44,365 --> 01:35:46,909
Oh, no!
He sees us!
2444
01:35:48,953 --> 01:35:51,247
SETH:
He can't touch us!
2445
01:35:51,330 --> 01:35:52,915
We're in a force field!
2446
01:35:53,791 --> 01:35:55,084
(ROARS)
2447
01:35:57,169 --> 01:35:59,672
Oh, shit! Shit!
2448
01:36:03,467 --> 01:36:05,094
It's not gonna
take me with you!
2449
01:36:05,177 --> 01:36:06,262
We're going down!
2450
01:36:06,345 --> 01:36:09,265
Keep holding on and you'll
get pulled up, too!
2451
01:36:09,348 --> 01:36:11,267
It's not!
No, I won't, man!
2452
01:36:11,350 --> 01:36:13,060
I don't deserve to.
2453
01:36:13,686 --> 01:36:14,895
Fuck.
2454
01:36:15,688 --> 01:36:18,065
(1 WILL ALWAYS LOVE YOU
PLAYING)
2455
01:36:18,607 --> 01:36:19,817
I'm gonna let go, Jay.
2456
01:36:19,900 --> 01:36:21,026
You'll die!
2457
01:36:21,110 --> 01:36:23,571
I know, but you won't.
2458
01:36:23,654 --> 01:36:24,864
No!
2459
01:36:24,947 --> 01:36:27,867
I don't deserve to go
to Heaven, but you do.
2460
01:36:27,950 --> 01:36:29,368
You do, okay?
2461
01:36:29,452 --> 01:36:31,328
We're both gonna die
if I don't let go.
2462
01:36:32,913 --> 01:36:35,249
I'm not gonna hold
you back anymore.
2463
01:36:37,501 --> 01:36:39,003
No!
2464
01:36:46,552 --> 01:36:48,554
And I...
2465
01:36:51,724 --> 01:36:54,852
♪ Will always love you
2466
01:36:55,561 --> 01:36:56,896
Yay!
2467
01:36:57,062 --> 01:36:59,106
♪ I will always
2468
01:36:59,231 --> 01:37:00,483
(LAUGHING)
2469
01:37:00,566 --> 01:37:02,735
I Love you
2470
01:37:02,818 --> 01:37:07,740
♪ I will always love you
2471
01:37:12,328 --> 01:37:14,413
Whoo! Yeah!
2472
01:37:14,914 --> 01:37:17,374
Come, hold my hand, buddy!
2473
01:37:17,458 --> 01:37:19,460
Hold my hand!
2474
01:37:19,543 --> 01:37:21,420
Yeah!
You did it!
2475
01:37:21,504 --> 01:37:23,088
You did it!
Yeah!
2476
01:37:23,172 --> 01:37:24,381
You did it!
2477
01:37:24,465 --> 01:37:26,800
Yeah!
(LAUGHING)
2478
01:37:30,471 --> 01:37:32,431
We're flying!
2479
01:37:32,765 --> 01:37:35,434
♪ Love you A'
2480
01:37:35,518 --> 01:37:37,269
(BOTH WHOOPING)
2481
01:37:41,398 --> 01:37:43,901
(SPIRIT IN THE SKY PLAYING)
2482
01:37:47,279 --> 01:37:50,658
♪ When I die
and they lay me to rest
2483
01:37:51,116 --> 01:37:54,453
♪ Gonna go to the place
that's the best
2484
01:37:54,828 --> 01:37:57,748
♪ When I lay me
down to die
2485
01:37:57,831 --> 01:37:58,874
Look!
What?
2486
01:37:59,583 --> 01:38:00,626
(LAUGHS)
Wow.
2487
01:38:00,793 --> 01:38:02,086
(BOTH GASP)
2488
01:38:05,631 --> 01:38:07,508
Welcome to Heaven,
motherfuckers.
2489
01:38:08,342 --> 01:38:10,010
BOTH: Craig!
2490
01:38:10,094 --> 01:38:11,095
(LAUGHS)
2491
01:38:11,637 --> 01:38:13,472
Yay!
Yeah!
2492
01:38:13,973 --> 01:38:15,432
Craig.
Oh, my...
2493
01:38:15,516 --> 01:38:16,517
What?
2494
01:38:16,600 --> 01:38:17,685
This is awesome.
2495
01:38:17,768 --> 01:38:19,436
Are you an angel?
Yes, sir.
2496
01:38:19,520 --> 01:38:21,021
That's so cool, man.
That is so cool.
2497
01:38:21,105 --> 01:38:22,690
Congratulations, dude.
2498
01:38:23,023 --> 01:38:24,024
Ah, fellas.
2499
01:38:24,108 --> 01:38:25,859
Yeah.
Yes.
2500
01:38:26,235 --> 01:38:27,695
Oh!
Dude, you got one.
2501
01:38:27,778 --> 01:38:28,821
What?
That's so cool.
2502
01:38:28,904 --> 01:38:29,989
Do I have one?
Do I have one?
2503
01:38:30,072 --> 01:38:31,240
I can't see it.
Do I have...
2504
01:38:31,323 --> 01:38:32,825
Wait.
Let's touch 'em.
2505
01:38:33,951 --> 01:38:35,327
Dude, this is so...
Wow.
2506
01:38:35,411 --> 01:38:36,996
What do we do now?
Yeah.
2507
01:38:37,329 --> 01:38:38,330
Come this way.
2508
01:38:38,414 --> 01:38:39,623
SETH: Ooh...
2509
01:38:39,957 --> 01:38:42,543
♪ So you know
that when you die
2510
01:38:43,043 --> 01:38:44,837
♪ He's gonna recommend you
2511
01:38:44,920 --> 01:38:46,755
♪ To the spirit in the sky
2512
01:38:46,839 --> 01:38:48,257
CHORUS".
4“ Spirit in the sky a“
2513
01:38:48,340 --> 01:38:51,552
Right? Do you love it?
Do you love it?
2514
01:38:52,219 --> 01:38:54,555
Whoa, they got
weed in Heaven?
2515
01:38:54,638 --> 01:38:56,432
What?
You tell me.
2516
01:38:57,016 --> 01:38:58,058
Oh! What?
2517
01:38:58,142 --> 01:39:01,103
Holy shit!
That's awesome!
2518
01:39:02,646 --> 01:39:03,647
Oh.
2519
01:39:03,731 --> 01:39:04,898
Wow.
2520
01:39:04,982 --> 01:39:06,483
That's insane, man.
2521
01:39:06,567 --> 01:39:07,901
No,no,no,
no,no,no.
2522
01:39:07,985 --> 01:39:10,613
That's Heaven. Anything you
could think of is yours.
2523
01:39:12,740 --> 01:39:13,991
Whoa!
2524
01:39:14,074 --> 01:39:16,785
Holy shit,
this is awesome.
2525
01:39:16,869 --> 01:39:17,911
Segway!
2526
01:39:17,995 --> 01:39:19,663
I've always wanted to
ride one of these things.
2527
01:39:19,747 --> 01:39:21,957
Go ahead, Jay,
make a wish.
2528
01:39:22,041 --> 01:39:23,083
Anything you
could think of.
2529
01:39:23,709 --> 01:39:25,044
Anything?
2530
01:39:27,254 --> 01:39:29,757
I Everybody, yeah
2531
01:39:30,049 --> 01:39:31,383
(ALL GASP)
2532
01:39:31,925 --> 01:39:33,302
I Rock your body, yeah
2533
01:39:33,385 --> 01:39:34,386
What?
2534
01:39:35,638 --> 01:39:37,640
No fucking way.
2535
01:39:37,723 --> 01:39:39,224
♪ Everybody
2536
01:39:39,308 --> 01:39:41,477
♪ Rock your body right
2537
01:39:41,560 --> 01:39:43,228
(ALL CHEERING)
2538
01:39:43,312 --> 01:39:44,813
♪ Backstreet's back
2539
01:39:44,897 --> 01:39:46,231
ALL:
a' All right
2540
01:39:50,736 --> 01:39:52,237
♪ Hey, yeah
2541
01:39:54,448 --> 01:39:57,159
♪ Oh, my God,
we're back again
2542
01:39:58,911 --> 01:40:01,705
♪ Brothers, sisters,
everybody sing
2543
01:40:03,040 --> 01:40:06,085
♪ Gonna bring the flavor
show you how
2544
01:40:07,586 --> 01:40:11,590
♪ Gotta question for you
better answer now, yeah
2545
01:40:11,715 --> 01:40:14,301
♪ Am I original?
2546
01:40:14,510 --> 01:40:15,761
♪ Yeah
2547
01:40:15,886 --> 01:40:18,555
♪ Am I the only one?
2548
01:40:18,931 --> 01:40:20,391
♪ Yeah
2549
01:40:20,474 --> 01:40:23,268
♪ Am I sexual?
2550
01:40:23,394 --> 01:40:24,978
♪ Yeah
2551
01:40:25,312 --> 01:40:27,147
♪ Am I everything
you need?
2552
01:40:27,231 --> 01:40:29,525
♪ You better
rock your body now
2553
01:40:29,608 --> 01:40:32,111
♪ Everybody
2554
01:40:32,194 --> 01:40:33,862
♪ Yeah
2555
01:40:33,946 --> 01:40:36,532
♪ Rock your body
2556
01:40:36,782 --> 01:40:38,325
♪ Yeah
2557
01:40:38,409 --> 01:40:41,036
♪ Everybody
2558
01:40:41,120 --> 01:40:43,872
♪ Rock your body right
2559
01:40:45,541 --> 01:40:48,419
♪ Backstreet's back,
all right
2560
01:40:51,630 --> 01:40:53,215
♪ All right
2561
01:40:54,383 --> 01:40:57,136
♪ Backstreet's back,
all right 4“
2562
01:40:57,302 --> 01:40:58,595
(ALL CHEERING)