1
00:00:01,936 --> 00:00:04,003
           [silence]            

2
00:00:24,825 --> 00:00:27,192
           ¶¶ [jazz]            

3
00:02:26,547 --> 00:02:28,180
     AARON:<i> If you wanna be</i>     
     <i> successful with women,</i>    

4
00:02:28,182 --> 00:02:29,882
   <i> you have to overcome fear.</i>  

5
00:02:29,884 --> 00:02:32,618
       <i> Fear of rejection,</i>      
     <i> fear of embarrassment,</i>    

6
00:02:32,620 --> 00:02:35,854
 <i> fear of inadequacy, whatever.</i> 

7
00:02:35,856 --> 00:02:38,357
      <i> You can't be afraid.</i>     

8
00:02:39,894 --> 00:02:43,462
  <i> As a rule, if I look back...</i> 

9
00:02:43,464 --> 00:02:46,131
   <i> and she looks back, too...</i>  

10
00:02:48,802 --> 00:02:50,402
             - Hi.              
             - Hi.              

11
00:02:50,404 --> 00:02:51,436
           I'm Aaron.           

12
00:02:51,438 --> 00:02:53,872
    <i> The intro is important.</i>    

13
00:02:53,874 --> 00:02:57,209
  <i> But follow-up is everything.</i> 

14
00:02:58,712 --> 00:03:01,547
       <i> A lot of guys wait</i>      
   <i> two or three days to call.</i>  

15
00:03:01,549 --> 00:03:03,415
     <i> I think that's stupid.</i>    

16
00:03:03,417 --> 00:03:05,918
    <i> Women wanna feel wanted.</i>   

17
00:03:05,920 --> 00:03:07,953
      <i> I call 'em that day.</i>     

18
00:03:07,955 --> 00:03:10,722
  Hey, sweetheart, it's Aaron.  

19
00:03:10,724 --> 00:03:13,058
     We met earlier today.      

20
00:03:13,060 --> 00:03:15,661
 <i> I take 'em to my favorite spot</i>
          <i> right away.</i>          

21
00:03:15,663 --> 00:03:16,929
       <i> Never the movies.</i>       

22
00:03:16,931 --> 00:03:18,163
    <i> You want their attention</i>   
            <i> on you,</i>            

23
00:03:18,165 --> 00:03:20,732
  <i> not some jackass movie star.</i> 

24
00:03:20,734 --> 00:03:22,501
<i>Good conversation is important,</i> 

25
00:03:22,503 --> 00:03:26,205
      <i> but making 'em laugh</i>     
    <i> is even more important.</i>    

26
00:03:26,207 --> 00:03:30,342
     <i> But to close the deal,</i>    
    <i> you gotta make it sexy.</i>    

27
00:03:30,344 --> 00:03:33,779
      <i> And I know all about</i>     
        <i> making it sexy.</i>        

28
00:03:33,781 --> 00:03:37,749
     <i> I work in advertising,</i>    
 <i> which is all about seduction.</i> 

29
00:03:37,751 --> 00:03:40,953
  <i> You have to seduce people to</i> 
 <i> wanna buy what you're selling,</i>

30
00:03:40,955 --> 00:03:43,655
   <i> and I'm good at what I do.</i>  

31
00:03:43,657 --> 00:03:46,124
    <i> Very good at what I do.</i>    

32
00:03:46,126 --> 00:03:51,997
       <i> I find most women</i>       
 <i> give it up on the first date.</i> 

33
00:03:51,999 --> 00:03:55,000
     <i> Of course, they always</i>    
      <i> give the disclaimer.</i>     

34
00:03:55,002 --> 00:03:58,003
    I never did it this fast    
      with anybody before.      

35
00:03:58,005 --> 00:04:00,672
     <i> That means she always</i>     
       <i> gives it up fast.</i>       

36
00:04:00,674 --> 00:04:02,708
    <i> I just go along with it.</i>   

37
00:04:02,710 --> 00:04:04,509
       I feel so honored.       

38
00:04:08,682 --> 00:04:10,949
  <i> The worst part is afterwards</i> 

39
00:04:10,951 --> 00:04:13,719
     <i> when you just want 'em</i>    
          <i> to go home.</i>          

40
00:04:13,721 --> 00:04:15,420
        Hey, sweetheart.        

41
00:04:16,724 --> 00:04:18,223
   Let's get you home, okay?    

42
00:04:18,225 --> 00:04:20,425
         Don't want you         
     driving home too late.     

43
00:04:20,427 --> 00:04:23,462
       That was amazing.        
        You're amazing.         

44
00:04:23,464 --> 00:04:28,066
   Legs behind the head thing   
  was mind-blowing. I mean...   

45
00:04:28,068 --> 00:04:30,736
       Sorry. I just have       
        to get up early.        

46
00:04:30,738 --> 00:04:32,638
      Got a presentation.       

47
00:04:32,640 --> 00:04:34,673
     These are really cute.     

48
00:04:34,675 --> 00:04:37,943
       So are you. Um...        

49
00:04:37,945 --> 00:04:41,480
       Call me. Make sure       
       you got home okay.       

50
00:04:43,317 --> 00:04:44,850
             Okay.              

51
00:04:51,292 --> 00:04:55,060
  <i> And no, I don't hate women.</i>  
         <i> I love women.</i>         

52
00:04:56,730 --> 00:05:00,899
   <i> I just don't fall in love</i>   
          <i> with women.</i>          

53
00:05:00,901 --> 00:05:03,402
  <i> I live a very blessed life.</i>  

54
00:05:03,404 --> 00:05:05,971
       <i> I'm in my mid-30s,</i>      
       <i> I got a great job,</i>      

55
00:05:05,973 --> 00:05:08,607
      <i> no wife and no kids.</i>     

56
00:05:08,609 --> 00:05:11,276
   <i> And I damn sure don't feel</i>  
      <i> like I'm missing out</i>     

57
00:05:11,278 --> 00:05:13,278
          <i> on the whole</i>         
      <i> wife and kids thing.</i>     

58
00:05:13,280 --> 00:05:14,846
      <i> Don't get me wrong.</i>      

59
00:05:14,848 --> 00:05:17,316
     <i> I don't have anything</i>     
    <i> against that lifestyle.</i>    

60
00:05:17,318 --> 00:05:19,518
     <i> It's just not for me.</i>     

61
00:05:19,520 --> 00:05:21,620
     [no audible dialogue]      

62
00:05:22,823 --> 00:05:24,556
            ..9231.             

63
00:05:24,558 --> 00:05:27,459
  - Got it. Talk to you soon.   
      - Talk to you soon.       

64
00:05:27,461 --> 00:05:30,696
     <i> But I'm getting ahead</i>     
           <i> of myself.</i>          

65
00:05:30,698 --> 00:05:32,631
  <i> I'm on my way to meet Kayla,</i> 

66
00:05:32,633 --> 00:05:35,567
  <i> and I'm trying to figure out</i> 
        <i> how to tell her.</i>       

67
00:05:38,605 --> 00:05:40,806
         <i> As many times</i>         
       <i> as I've done this,</i>      

68
00:05:40,808 --> 00:05:43,608
   <i> you'd think it'd be easy.</i>   

69
00:05:43,610 --> 00:05:45,977
     <i> But Kayla's different.</i>    

70
00:05:45,979 --> 00:05:48,780
       <i> I really like her.</i>      

71
00:05:48,782 --> 00:05:53,251
          <i> I met Kayla</i>          
 <i> walking down the street, too.</i> 

72
00:06:06,367 --> 00:06:08,767
         <i> Well, I didn't</i>        
       <i> actually meet her.</i>      

73
00:06:08,769 --> 00:06:11,570
   <i> But that's the first time</i>   
           <i> I saw her.</i>          

74
00:06:11,572 --> 00:06:16,274
   <i> And when I saw her again,</i>   
  <i> I knew I had to make a move.</i> 

75
00:06:17,177 --> 00:06:19,711
         Hi, I'm Aaron.         

76
00:06:19,713 --> 00:06:21,680
           <i> Of course</i>           
     <i> I didn't wait to call.</i>    

77
00:06:21,682 --> 00:06:25,083
 <i> I probably called Kayla faster</i>
 <i> than I've ever called anybody.</i>

78
00:06:25,085 --> 00:06:27,853
   Hey, Kayla, how you doin'?   
          It's Aaron.           

79
00:06:27,855 --> 00:06:31,523
  We met about 35 minutes ago.  

80
00:06:31,525 --> 00:06:33,225
      <i> We went to the spot</i>      
    <i> for dinner and all that,</i>   

81
00:06:33,227 --> 00:06:34,793
     <i> but it was different.</i>     

82
00:06:34,795 --> 00:06:36,628
  <i> Kayla was easier to talk to</i>  

83
00:06:36,630 --> 00:06:38,530
          <i> than anybody</i>         
    <i> I've ever gone out with.</i>   

84
00:06:38,532 --> 00:06:42,267
      <i> I mean, I genuinely</i>      
        <i> had a good time.</i>       

85
00:06:42,269 --> 00:06:44,269
 <i> Shit, she was making</i> me<i> laugh.</i>

86
00:06:44,271 --> 00:06:48,206
           <i> Of course,</i>          
     <i> I put the sexy on her.</i>    

87
00:06:48,208 --> 00:06:51,877
          <i> But she put</i>          
     <i> even more sexy on me.</i>     

88
00:06:51,879 --> 00:06:56,047
     <i> I was sure Kayla would</i>    
 <i> give it up on our first night.</i>

89
00:06:56,049 --> 00:06:59,684
           <i> After all,</i>          
     <i> most women do, right?</i>     

90
00:07:01,822 --> 00:07:06,425
 <i> Instead, we ended up laughing</i> 
     <i> and talking all night.</i>    

91
00:07:06,427 --> 00:07:08,427
          <i> Even though</i>          
     <i> she didn't give it up,</i>    

92
00:07:08,429 --> 00:07:10,996
        <i> I let her crash</i>        
     <i> for the entire night.</i>     

93
00:07:10,998 --> 00:07:14,366
         <i> What the fuck</i>         
       <i> was wrong with me?</i>      

94
00:07:14,368 --> 00:07:17,169
         <i> I even let her</i>        
      <i> stay for breakfast.</i>      

95
00:07:17,171 --> 00:07:20,338
       <i> Next thing I knew,</i>      
      <i> we were hanging out.</i>     

96
00:07:20,340 --> 00:07:22,741
    <i> And I have to be honest.</i>   

97
00:07:22,743 --> 00:07:27,379
   <i> I hadn't had this much fun</i>  
       <i> since I was a kid.</i>      

98
00:07:29,817 --> 00:07:32,851
      <i> But she still didn't</i>     
          <i> give it up.</i>          

99
00:07:32,853 --> 00:07:37,489
       <i> I couldn't believe</i>      
 <i> I was just letting it happen.</i> 

100
00:07:37,491 --> 00:07:41,493
 <i> The more I got to know Kayla,</i> 
  <i> the more I got to like her.</i>  

101
00:07:41,495 --> 00:07:43,562
        <i> She had a lot of</i>       
        <i> good qualities.</i>        

102
00:07:43,564 --> 00:07:45,931
      <i> She had a great job</i>      
     <i> at an accounting firm,</i>    

103
00:07:45,933 --> 00:07:48,700
     <i> she had her own place,</i>    
    <i> she was single, no kids,</i>   

104
00:07:48,702 --> 00:07:51,203
       <i> she wasn't crazy,</i>       
        <i> she worked out,</i>        

105
00:07:51,205 --> 00:07:53,505
        <i> she didn't smoke</i>       
    <i> but she liked to drink,</i>    

106
00:07:53,507 --> 00:07:55,707
      <i> she listened to jazz</i>     
          <i> and reggae,</i>          

107
00:07:55,709 --> 00:07:57,409
      <i> she watched sports,</i>      

108
00:07:57,411 --> 00:07:59,978
    <i> she didn't go to church,</i>   
    <i> but she believed in God,</i>   

109
00:07:59,980 --> 00:08:01,646
     <i> she liked dirty jokes,</i>    

110
00:08:01,648 --> 00:08:05,016
     <i> and most importantly,</i>     
     <i> she was really smart.</i>     

111
00:08:05,018 --> 00:08:06,418
           Checkmate.           

112
00:08:06,420 --> 00:08:09,020
     <i> Really, really smart.</i>     

113
00:08:09,022 --> 00:08:11,790
   <i> Trust me when I tell you,</i>   

114
00:08:11,792 --> 00:08:16,127
  <i> when she finally gave it up,</i> 

115
00:08:16,129 --> 00:08:18,763
     <i> it was worth the wait.</i>    

116
00:08:28,942 --> 00:08:30,742
         <i> It was weird.</i>         

117
00:08:30,744 --> 00:08:35,146
  <i> Even when I wasn't with her,</i> 
   <i> I was thinking about her.</i>   

118
00:08:35,148 --> 00:08:39,417
         <i> What the fuck</i>         
       <i> was wrong with me?</i>      

119
00:08:39,419 --> 00:08:42,654
    <i> That was when I realized</i>   
       <i> the time had come.</i>      

120
00:08:46,827 --> 00:08:48,360
              Hey.              

121
00:08:53,133 --> 00:08:55,834
       How was your day?        

122
00:08:55,836 --> 00:08:58,570
          It was okay.          
         How was yours?         

123
00:08:58,572 --> 00:09:02,407
   Fantastic. Even better now   
   that I saw you, cutie pie.   

124
00:09:02,409 --> 00:09:05,610
 So you all ready for tonight?  

125
00:09:05,612 --> 00:09:10,348
    Yeah, we got everything     
   delegated and planned out.   

126
00:09:10,350 --> 00:09:12,717
   It should be a good time.    

127
00:09:12,719 --> 00:09:14,819
             I bet.             

128
00:09:17,724 --> 00:09:19,691
       Kayla, there's...        

129
00:09:19,693 --> 00:09:21,760
   There's something I wanted   
     to talk to you about.      

130
00:09:21,762 --> 00:09:25,130
    Yeah, there's something     
    I need to tell you, too.    

131
00:09:25,132 --> 00:09:26,631
           You first.           

132
00:09:27,634 --> 00:09:30,635
          Okay. Um...           

133
00:09:30,637 --> 00:09:33,138
           Well, I...           

134
00:09:33,140 --> 00:09:36,141
       don't really know        
    how to say this, so I...    

135
00:09:36,143 --> 00:09:38,810
   I guess I'll just say it.    

136
00:09:38,812 --> 00:09:41,546
 I got a job offer in Chicago.  

137
00:09:41,548 --> 00:09:43,481
   It's with the same company   
       doing the same job       

138
00:09:43,483 --> 00:09:45,150
 for the same amount of money.  

139
00:09:45,152 --> 00:09:47,686
    I put in for a transfer     
      a couple months back      

140
00:09:47,688 --> 00:09:53,358
     because, I don't know,     
I guess I just wanted a change. 

141
00:09:53,360 --> 00:09:55,961
   That was before I met you.   

142
00:09:55,963 --> 00:09:57,662
 I don't have to take the job.  

143
00:09:57,664 --> 00:10:01,733
    I just basically wanted     
     to run it by you to...     

144
00:10:01,735 --> 00:10:04,069
      see what you thought      
   before I made a decision.    

145
00:10:04,071 --> 00:10:09,274
Trust me, I'm not trying to put 
 any pressure or cables on you. 

146
00:10:09,276 --> 00:10:12,911
        Just wanna know         
       what you thought.        

147
00:10:12,913 --> 00:10:15,814
     So what do you think?      

148
00:10:18,018 --> 00:10:20,919
  I think you should take it.   

149
00:10:20,921 --> 00:10:22,887
           - You do?            
          - Hell yeah!          

150
00:10:22,889 --> 00:10:24,856
    Chicago is a great city.    

151
00:10:24,858 --> 00:10:27,425
     Maybe a change is just     
    what you need right now.    

152
00:10:27,427 --> 00:10:29,594
       If I had a chance        
      to move to Chicago,       

153
00:10:29,596 --> 00:10:32,664
   I'd do it in a heartbeat.    
           Hell yeah!           

154
00:10:34,067 --> 00:10:38,036
        Thanks for being        
         so supportive.         

155
00:10:38,038 --> 00:10:40,138
        So what did you         
        want to tell me?        

156
00:10:40,140 --> 00:10:42,173
         Oh, you know,          
        it was nothing.         

157
00:10:42,175 --> 00:10:44,476
      I forgot it already.      

158
00:10:44,478 --> 00:10:47,112
       But I am so stoked       
     to hear about Chicago.     

159
00:10:47,114 --> 00:10:49,481
   I mean, you are so lucky!    

160
00:10:49,483 --> 00:10:52,717
        Maybe I can even        
    come visit you sometime.    

161
00:10:52,719 --> 00:10:55,887
           Hell yeah.           
    Sorry to cut this short.    

162
00:10:55,889 --> 00:10:58,189
         I'd better go          
      and give my notice.       

163
00:10:58,191 --> 00:11:00,525
   You guys have fun tonight.   

164
00:11:01,928 --> 00:11:04,796
  - Congrats again, gorgeous.   
           - Thanks.            

165
00:11:07,668 --> 00:11:10,702
     You know what, Aaron?      
      I was really hoping       

166
00:11:10,704 --> 00:11:12,837
      that when I told you      
  I was thinking about leaving  

167
00:11:12,839 --> 00:11:14,439
    that you would say to me    

168
00:11:14,441 --> 00:11:16,408
   you would slit your wrists   
      with a butter knife       

169
00:11:16,410 --> 00:11:18,076
 or drown yourself in a puddle  

170
00:11:18,078 --> 00:11:22,714
 or throw yourself in front of  
 a speeding yellow school bus!  

171
00:11:22,716 --> 00:11:24,916
       Guess I was wrong.       

172
00:11:26,119 --> 00:11:30,955
        You are a really        
       great guy, Aaron.        

173
00:11:30,957 --> 00:11:33,692
        You need to stop        
        being so afraid.        

174
00:11:45,105 --> 00:11:46,771
        Afraid of what?         

175
00:11:48,275 --> 00:11:52,544
    <i> For some strange reason,</i>   
<i>I have an urge to go after her.</i> 

176
00:11:55,816 --> 00:12:00,251
     <i> But it's getting late,</i>    
   <i> and I gotta pick up Sean.</i>   

177
00:12:00,253 --> 00:12:03,288
         [horn honking]         

178
00:12:04,758 --> 00:12:08,026
         [horn honking]         

179
00:12:08,028 --> 00:12:09,828
            Oh, oh!             
      One second, asshole!      

180
00:12:09,830 --> 00:12:11,830
  And quit honking the goddamn  
   horn in front of my house!   

181
00:12:11,832 --> 00:12:14,032
     You knew I was coming,     
    motherfucker! Hurry up!     

182
00:12:14,034 --> 00:12:15,633
          [door slams]          

183
00:12:15,635 --> 00:12:18,603
   <i> Sean and I have always had</i>  
     <i> a great relationship.</i>     

184
00:12:18,605 --> 00:12:21,539
    <i> We've been best friends</i>    
     <i> since the fourth grade</i>    

185
00:12:21,541 --> 00:12:23,475
 <i> when I used to get shaken down</i>
       <i> for my milk money</i>       

186
00:12:23,477 --> 00:12:25,710
       <i> by Biff Bartowski.</i>      

187
00:12:25,712 --> 00:12:28,480
        <i> Sean used to get</i>       
   <i> shaken down by Biff, too,</i>   

188
00:12:28,482 --> 00:12:30,648
<i>so we decided to join forces...</i> 

189
00:12:30,650 --> 00:12:32,817
 <i> and get shaken down together.</i> 

190
00:12:32,819 --> 00:12:34,853
           <i> Even then,</i>          
     <i> we made a great team.</i>     

191
00:12:34,855 --> 00:12:37,756
    <i> Finally, when our balls</i>    
      <i> got a little bigger,</i>     

192
00:12:37,758 --> 00:12:40,959
        <i> we beat the shit</i>       
     <i> out of Biff Bartowski.</i>    

193
00:12:40,961 --> 00:12:42,827
      <i> We've been best buds</i>     
          <i> ever since,</i>          

194
00:12:42,829 --> 00:12:45,697
 <i> all through elementary school,</i>
          <i> high school,</i>         

195
00:12:45,699 --> 00:12:49,501
       <i> college roommates,</i>      
   <i> joined at the fuckin' hip.</i>  

196
00:12:49,503 --> 00:12:52,003
          <i> Most of all,</i>         
      <i> we were into girls.</i>      

197
00:12:52,005 --> 00:12:56,574
     <i> Lots and lots and lots</i>    

198
00:12:56,576 --> 00:12:58,643
       <i> and lots of girls.</i>      

199
00:12:58,645 --> 00:13:02,013
       <i> Sean and I always</i>       
       <i> worked as a team.</i>       

200
00:13:02,015 --> 00:13:03,915
      <i> Sean's an engineer.</i>      

201
00:13:03,917 --> 00:13:06,718
     <i> Although his job isn't</i>    
     <i> quite as sexy as mine,</i>    

202
00:13:06,720 --> 00:13:09,587
   <i> he's good at what he does.</i>  

203
00:13:11,725 --> 00:13:14,459
   <i> Very good at what he does.</i>  

204
00:13:20,233 --> 00:13:24,669
        <i> Sean and I vowed</i>       
  <i> to never, ever settle down.</i>  

205
00:13:25,872 --> 00:13:27,739
         <i> Unfortunately,</i>        
     <i> the rest of the fellas</i>    

206
00:13:27,741 --> 00:13:29,841
   <i> were dropping like flies.</i>   

207
00:13:29,843 --> 00:13:32,076
      <i> I swear, every month</i>     
      <i> I got another invite</i>     

208
00:13:32,078 --> 00:13:33,978
   <i> for another guy's wedding.</i>  

209
00:13:33,980 --> 00:13:36,648
      <i> It was like getting</i>      
        <i> their obituary.</i>        

210
00:13:36,650 --> 00:13:38,082
     <i> And after our friends</i>     
         <i> were married,</i>         

211
00:13:38,084 --> 00:13:39,417
   <i> they were never the same.</i>   

212
00:13:39,419 --> 00:13:40,819
<i>It was like they were suffering</i> 

213
00:13:40,821 --> 00:13:42,720
      <i> from post-traumatic</i>      
        <i> stress disorder.</i>       

214
00:13:45,759 --> 00:13:48,626
     <i> Sean and I were gonna</i>     
       <i> live the fun life.</i>      

215
00:13:48,628 --> 00:13:51,262
    We gonna love them ho's!    

216
00:13:51,264 --> 00:13:53,097
            <i> Forever.</i>           

217
00:13:54,100 --> 00:13:55,633
              Ah!               

218
00:13:55,635 --> 00:13:57,869
       <i> Until one night...</i>      

219
00:14:01,174 --> 00:14:04,042
        <i> Sean met Irene.</i>        

220
00:14:04,044 --> 00:14:08,713
         ¶¶ [romantic]          

221
00:14:19,759 --> 00:14:22,694
   <i> Sean took Irene to dinner,</i>  
       <i> kept her laughing,</i>      

222
00:14:22,696 --> 00:14:24,629
       <i> blah, blah, blah.</i>       

223
00:14:24,631 --> 00:14:27,198
      <i> But the idiot forgot</i>     
   <i> his wallet and cell phone.</i>  

224
00:14:27,200 --> 00:14:31,069
    <i> Turns out Irene only had</i>   
      <i> seven bucks herself.</i>     

225
00:14:31,071 --> 00:14:32,837
       [record scratches]       

226
00:14:32,839 --> 00:14:36,007
  <i> To make a long story short,</i>  
  <i> Irene washed and Sean dried.</i> 

227
00:14:36,009 --> 00:14:38,743
   <i> I'll say this about Irene:</i>  
 <i> She must've really liked Sean</i> 

228
00:14:38,745 --> 00:14:41,579
          <i> because she</i>          
    <i> went out with him again.</i>   

229
00:14:41,581 --> 00:14:45,783
 <i> And again and again and again.</i>

230
00:14:45,785 --> 00:14:48,253
    <i> Sean had fallen in love.</i>   

231
00:14:48,255 --> 00:14:49,988
        <i> I'm not a hater,</i>       

232
00:14:49,990 --> 00:14:53,992
   <i> but I'd be lying if I said</i>  
      <i> I wasn't a little...</i>     

233
00:14:53,994 --> 00:14:55,493
         <i> disappointed.</i>         

234
00:14:56,730 --> 00:14:58,162
             What?              

235
00:14:58,164 --> 00:14:59,964
    <i> Now come the bad times.</i>    

236
00:14:59,966 --> 00:15:02,467
     <i> About six months ago--</i>    

237
00:15:02,469 --> 00:15:06,337
       <i> God, I don't even</i>       
         <i> wanna say it--</i>        

238
00:15:06,339 --> 00:15:08,406
    <i> Sean proposed to Irene.</i>    

239
00:15:08,408 --> 00:15:10,008
    <i> Of course she said yes.</i>    

240
00:15:10,010 --> 00:15:11,843
  <i> Believe me, I tried to talk</i>  
      <i> some sense into him,</i>     

241
00:15:11,845 --> 00:15:14,245
      <i> but Sean being Sean</i>      
   <i> wasn't trying to hear it.</i>   

242
00:15:14,247 --> 00:15:17,782
      <i> And now his dumb ass</i>     
      <i> is getting married.</i>      

243
00:15:18,885 --> 00:15:20,018
           <i> Tomorrow.</i>           

244
00:15:20,020 --> 00:15:23,821
       [car horn honking]       

245
00:15:25,926 --> 00:15:27,926
       You motherfucker.        

246
00:15:33,099 --> 00:15:34,933
         Gross, gross.          

247
00:15:36,569 --> 00:15:39,404
 <i> I've been trying to talk Sean</i> 
  <i> out of this marriage madness</i> 

248
00:15:39,406 --> 00:15:41,172
    <i> since he first proposed.</i>   

249
00:15:41,174 --> 00:15:42,807
     <i> I've tried everything.</i>    

250
00:15:42,809 --> 00:15:46,411
  You gonna come up for oxygen  
         anytime soon?          

251
00:15:46,413 --> 00:15:48,012
           No? Okay.            

252
00:15:49,716 --> 00:15:53,051
   <i> Tonight is my last chance</i>   
     <i> to save my best friend</i>    

253
00:15:53,053 --> 00:15:55,553
   <i> - from eternal damnation.</i>   
         <i> -</i> Bye, honey!         

254
00:15:55,555 --> 00:15:57,755
         - We miss you!         
          - Bye, babe!          

255
00:15:57,757 --> 00:16:01,759
    <i> Desperate circumstances</i>    
  <i> call for desperate measures.</i> 

256
00:16:01,761 --> 00:16:03,461
   I can't fuckin' stand her.   

257
00:16:03,463 --> 00:16:06,030
  She's driving me crazy over   
not having enough goddamn chairs

258
00:16:06,032 --> 00:16:07,131
       for the reception.       

259
00:16:07,133 --> 00:16:08,800
    Goddamn fuckin' chairs!     

260
00:16:08,802 --> 00:16:10,735
  It looks like you have a lot  
       to look forward to       

261
00:16:10,737 --> 00:16:12,971
 getting married there, buddy!  

262
00:16:12,973 --> 00:16:15,039
            [groans]            

263
00:16:15,041 --> 00:16:18,376
      So is loverboy ready      
     for tonight, huh? Huh?     

264
00:16:18,378 --> 00:16:19,877
    Without a fuckin' doubt.    

265
00:16:19,879 --> 00:16:21,579
        Yeah, bullshit.         

266
00:16:21,581 --> 00:16:23,848
        Oh, you'll see.         
   Tonight old Sean is back.    

267
00:16:23,850 --> 00:16:25,183
          I just hope           
 you're steppin' up your game.  

268
00:16:25,185 --> 00:16:27,318
   Oh, don't worry about me,    
           Kemosabe.            

269
00:16:27,320 --> 00:16:30,855
       You just let me do       
           what I do.           

270
00:16:30,857 --> 00:16:32,256
    So where are we headin'?    

271
00:16:34,995 --> 00:16:35,994
            Floyd's.            

272
00:16:35,996 --> 00:16:38,429
       - [engine starts]        
           - Floyd's.           

273
00:16:38,431 --> 00:16:40,365
    Get the fuck outta here.    

274
00:16:40,367 --> 00:16:42,266
        You get the fuck        
          outta here.           

275
00:16:42,268 --> 00:16:44,669
    <i> We met Floyd in college.</i>   

276
00:16:44,671 --> 00:16:48,006
     <i> Floyd has always been</i>     
      <i> just like he is now:</i>     

277
00:16:48,008 --> 00:16:50,708
        <i> straight-laced,</i>        
    <i> God-fearing, organized,</i>    

278
00:16:50,710 --> 00:16:53,644
      <i> responsible, nervous</i>     
          <i> and uptight.</i>         

279
00:16:53,646 --> 00:16:56,214
    <i> But if you really wanna</i>    
       <i> understand Floyd,</i>       

280
00:16:56,216 --> 00:17:00,084
     <i> we have to first talk</i>     
      <i> about his wife Joy.</i>      

281
00:17:01,688 --> 00:17:03,521
         <i> Floyd met Joy</i>         
     <i> right out of college.</i>     

282
00:17:03,523 --> 00:17:06,824
  <i> If you ask me, she basically</i> 
<i>strong-armed Floyd to marry her</i> 

283
00:17:06,826 --> 00:17:09,460
     <i> 'cause she knew Floyd</i>     
    <i> would be a good partner.</i>   

284
00:17:09,462 --> 00:17:12,196
    <i> She and Floyd made a lot</i>   
  <i> of dough doing real estate,</i>  

285
00:17:12,198 --> 00:17:14,632
       <i> even though Floyd</i>       
       <i> does all the work</i>       

286
00:17:14,634 --> 00:17:18,736
 <i> and Joy takes all the credit.</i> 

287
00:17:18,738 --> 00:17:21,539
       <i> Joy really cracks</i>       
    <i> the whip on Floyd, too.</i>    

288
00:17:22,709 --> 00:17:24,842
         <i> We've seen her</i>        
     <i> grab him by the collar</i>    

289
00:17:24,844 --> 00:17:27,545
       <i> and shake him like</i>      
       <i> she was his mama.</i>       

290
00:17:32,619 --> 00:17:34,285
  <i> The company is in her name,</i>  

291
00:17:34,287 --> 00:17:37,555
      <i> the house, the cars,</i>     
       <i> the bank account.</i>       

292
00:17:37,557 --> 00:17:39,524
           <i> She even--</i>          
           <i> [chuckles]</i>          

293
00:17:39,526 --> 00:17:42,193
       <i> I shouldn't laugh</i>       
    <i> because it's pretty bad.</i>   

294
00:17:42,195 --> 00:17:45,730
      <i> She even gives Floyd</i>     
         <i> an allowance.</i>         

295
00:17:48,568 --> 00:17:50,635
          <i> Poor Floyd.</i>          

296
00:17:52,839 --> 00:17:55,006
   <i> Luckily, Joy's out of town</i>  
        <i> for the weekend.</i>       

297
00:17:55,008 --> 00:17:57,008
        <i> Took me forever</i>        
       <i> to convince Floyd</i>       

298
00:17:57,010 --> 00:17:59,710
  <i> to let me host the bachelor</i>  
      <i> party at his place.</i>      

299
00:17:59,712 --> 00:18:01,579
<i>It had to be somewhere special.</i> 

300
00:18:01,581 --> 00:18:03,714
            - Floyd!            
         - Hey, Floyd!          

301
00:18:03,716 --> 00:18:05,716
        <i> I promised Floyd</i>       
     <i> it would just be Sean</i>     

302
00:18:05,718 --> 00:18:07,418
     <i> and his six groomsmen.</i>    

303
00:18:07,420 --> 00:18:08,920
        <i> I mean, come on.</i>       

304
00:18:08,922 --> 00:18:11,122
       <i> How out of control</i>      
    <i> could that possibly get?</i>   

305
00:18:11,124 --> 00:18:13,591
             Yeah!              

306
00:18:13,593 --> 00:18:15,760
             Floyd!             

307
00:18:15,762 --> 00:18:17,061
  I'm shutting it down, Aaron.  

308
00:18:17,063 --> 00:18:18,830
       We are already off       
      to a very bad start.      

309
00:18:18,832 --> 00:18:20,832
   A very, very, very, very,    
        very bad start.         

310
00:18:20,834 --> 00:18:25,169
Okay, Floyd, take a deep breath 
    and calm the fuck down.     

311
00:18:25,171 --> 00:18:27,839
           [exhales]            

312
00:18:27,841 --> 00:18:30,708
      We agreed! No drugs!      
           [echoing]            

313
00:18:30,710 --> 00:18:32,276
       SEAN: What are you       
         talking about?         

314
00:18:32,278 --> 00:18:34,245
    Your convict cousin is--    

315
00:18:34,247 --> 00:18:35,980
       He's brought drugs       
         into my house,         

316
00:18:35,982 --> 00:18:38,216
       and he's preparing       
    to do them as we speak!     

317
00:18:38,218 --> 00:18:39,851
           Oh, shit,            
     Jesse's already here?      

318
00:18:39,853 --> 00:18:42,120
   - I'm sure it's just weed.   
          - Just weed?          

319
00:18:42,122 --> 00:18:44,155
    Yeah, in fact, maybe you    
  should smoke some. It'll...   

320
00:18:44,157 --> 00:18:45,923
           [whistles]           

321
00:18:46,993 --> 00:18:49,460
           Stay cool.           
     I'll take care of it.      

322
00:18:49,462 --> 00:18:51,229
     No, I can't stay cool!     

323
00:18:53,166 --> 00:18:56,033
          Aw, perfect.          

324
00:18:57,737 --> 00:18:59,470
          Who's here?           

325
00:18:59,472 --> 00:19:01,973
      Harold. It's Harold!      

326
00:19:01,975 --> 00:19:04,275
     How you doin', Harold?     

327
00:19:04,277 --> 00:19:06,244
    <i> Harold is another buddy</i>    
         <i> from college.</i>         

328
00:19:06,246 --> 00:19:09,747
 <i> Harold's got a wife, two kids,</i>
    <i> and a big job at a bank.</i>   

329
00:19:09,749 --> 00:19:11,315
   <i> Overall, he's a great guy.</i>  

330
00:19:11,317 --> 00:19:14,185
         <i> But Harold has</i>        
       <i> a serious problem.</i>      

331
00:19:14,187 --> 00:19:18,322
    <i> Porno flicks, cybersex,</i>    
  <i> porn magazines, strip clubs.</i> 

332
00:19:18,324 --> 00:19:20,291
          <i> You name it,</i>         
       <i> Harold's into it.</i>       

333
00:19:20,293 --> 00:19:23,828
  <i> Harold is one of those guys</i>  
   <i> who doesn't mind spending.</i>  

334
00:19:23,830 --> 00:19:25,496
 <i> And he never wants to go home.</i>

335
00:19:25,498 --> 00:19:30,001
 <i> I mean, he never, ever, ever,</i> 
     <i> ever wants to go home.</i>    

336
00:19:30,003 --> 00:19:33,938
   <i> But if you went home with</i>   
    <i> Harold and saw his wife,</i>   

337
00:19:33,940 --> 00:19:35,473
     <i> you might understand.</i>     

338
00:19:35,475 --> 00:19:38,009
          <i> I don't like</i>         
      <i> to call people ugly,</i>     

339
00:19:38,011 --> 00:19:41,445
       <i> but Harold's wife</i>       
      <i> is fucking hideous.</i>      

340
00:19:41,447 --> 00:19:43,948
       <i> And God forgive me</i>      
        <i> for saying this:</i>       

341
00:19:43,950 --> 00:19:45,950
    <i> Even the kids are ugly.</i>    

342
00:19:45,952 --> 00:19:49,020
       <i> I can honestly say</i>      
      <i> that tonight's event</i>     

343
00:19:49,022 --> 00:19:52,056
      <i> means more to Harold</i>     
         <i> than anybody.</i>         

344
00:19:52,058 --> 00:19:54,692
       <i> And he's not even</i>       
    <i> the one getting married.</i>   

345
00:19:54,694 --> 00:19:58,462
      Maybe you could come      
        socialize, huh?         

346
00:19:58,464 --> 00:20:00,131
           Hey, guys.           

347
00:20:00,934 --> 00:20:02,633
   STANLEY: This is bullshit!   

348
00:20:02,635 --> 00:20:04,569
        That chick I met        
      on ChristianMingle?       

349
00:20:04,571 --> 00:20:06,704
            Lesbian.            

350
00:20:06,706 --> 00:20:10,841
  Then I spent all my goddamn   
 money on this goddamn liquor.  

351
00:20:10,843 --> 00:20:12,977
        Fuckin' in debt         
  'cause of that monkey suit.   

352
00:20:12,979 --> 00:20:16,914
     This is bullshit, man!     
       This is bullshit!        

353
00:20:16,916 --> 00:20:19,884
    <i> Stanley is Sean's older</i>    
       <i> and only brother.</i>       

354
00:20:19,886 --> 00:20:21,686
         <i> I call Stanley</i>        
     <i> the ultimate pessimist</i>    

355
00:20:21,688 --> 00:20:24,488
 <i> because he has to be the most</i> 
     <i> negative motherfucker</i>     

356
00:20:24,490 --> 00:20:25,957
    <i> to ever walk the planet.</i>   

357
00:20:25,959 --> 00:20:28,259
   <i> He sees the negative side</i>   
         <i> of everything,</i>        

358
00:20:28,261 --> 00:20:31,429
           <i> especially</i>          
     <i> when it comes to Sean.</i>    

359
00:20:32,599 --> 00:20:34,632
           - Freeze!            
             - Ohh!             

360
00:20:34,634 --> 00:20:39,837
  Shit! Just the motherfucker   
  I wanna see. What's up, man?  

361
00:20:39,839 --> 00:20:41,806
   You ready to tie the knot    
       tomorrow, cousin?        

362
00:20:41,808 --> 00:20:43,641
    You mean get sentenced?     

363
00:20:43,643 --> 00:20:45,743
 Hey, man, you're lookin' good. 
  It's a slick shirt, cousin.   

364
00:20:45,745 --> 00:20:48,212
   That's the ugliest fuckin'   
     shirt I've ever seen.      

365
00:20:48,214 --> 00:20:51,282
     - You deal with that.      
     - Thank you, Stanley.      

366
00:20:51,284 --> 00:20:53,584
  <i> According to Sean, Stanley's</i> 
    <i> only been remotely happy</i>   

367
00:20:53,586 --> 00:20:55,152
     <i> one time in his life.</i>     

368
00:20:55,154 --> 00:20:58,422
      <i> Supposedly, this is</i>      
     <i> a true fuckin' story.</i>     

369
00:20:58,424 --> 00:21:00,625
        <i> Stanley had just</i>       
        <i> gotten married.</i>        

370
00:21:00,627 --> 00:21:02,927
    <i> He thought his wife was</i>    
    <i> the most wonderful woman</i>   

371
00:21:02,929 --> 00:21:05,263
 <i> on the entire goddamn planet.</i> 

372
00:21:06,633 --> 00:21:09,233
 <i> Stanley was actually in love.</i> 

373
00:21:10,470 --> 00:21:11,836
        <i> But that night,</i>        

374
00:21:11,838 --> 00:21:15,072
 <i> a demon killed Stanley's wife</i> 

375
00:21:15,074 --> 00:21:16,641
    <i> and took over her body.</i>    

376
00:21:16,643 --> 00:21:18,442
            [roars]             

377
00:21:30,056 --> 00:21:34,558
      <i> From that point on,</i>      
  <i> Stanley lived with a demon.</i>  

378
00:21:34,560 --> 00:21:38,796
 <i> The demon eventually divorced</i> 
  <i> Stanley and took everything.</i> 

379
00:21:38,798 --> 00:21:41,065
      <i> He's got three kids</i>      
  <i> the demon won't let him see,</i> 

380
00:21:41,067 --> 00:21:42,967
 <i> but he pays child support for.</i>

381
00:21:42,969 --> 00:21:45,836
 <i> He's got a bullshit job where</i> 
 <i> he's overworked and underpaid.</i>

382
00:21:45,838 --> 00:21:48,039
         <i> He's in debt,</i>         
     <i> the IRS is on his ass,</i>    

383
00:21:48,041 --> 00:21:50,775
 <i> he's got high blood pressure.</i> 

384
00:21:50,777 --> 00:21:54,779
         <i> I could go on,</i>        
       <i> but it's all bad.</i>       

385
00:21:54,781 --> 00:21:58,449
  <i> Sean wanted his big brother</i>  
      <i> to be his best man.</i>      

386
00:21:58,451 --> 00:22:00,318
       <i> But I don't think</i>       
   <i> Stanley felt too honored.</i>   

387
00:22:00,320 --> 00:22:03,220
      I can't afford this.      
    This party is costing me    

388
00:22:03,222 --> 00:22:05,856
           an arm and           
    three fuckin' legs, man!    

389
00:22:05,858 --> 00:22:07,858
   <i> I always feel kinda sorry</i>   
          <i> for Stanley.</i>         

390
00:22:07,860 --> 00:22:09,560
      <i> It has to be shitty</i>      
       <i> to go through life</i>      

391
00:22:09,562 --> 00:22:13,364
  <i> always seeing and expecting</i>  
     <i> the bad in everything.</i>    

392
00:22:13,366 --> 00:22:15,399
          I'm probably          
      gonna get cancer...       

393
00:22:15,401 --> 00:22:17,468
          in my cock.           

394
00:22:17,470 --> 00:22:19,804
           Hey, man,            
   I've been waitin' on you.    

395
00:22:19,806 --> 00:22:23,774
        The man of honor        
      gets the first puff.      

396
00:22:25,445 --> 00:22:26,977
           Yeah, boy.           

397
00:22:26,979 --> 00:22:29,747
            <i> Jesse is</i>           
    <i> Sean's favorite cousin.</i>    

398
00:22:29,749 --> 00:22:31,315
  <i> I guess you can say that...</i>  

399
00:22:31,317 --> 00:22:34,952
      <i> Jesse is a little on</i>     
   <i> the other side of the law.</i>  

400
00:22:34,954 --> 00:22:38,055
 <i> Jesse's done some bad things.</i> 

401
00:22:38,958 --> 00:22:41,559
         [man shouting]         

402
00:22:42,829 --> 00:22:45,096
    <i> Some really bad things.</i>    

403
00:22:46,499 --> 00:22:49,467
    <i> And he's been locked up</i>    
     <i> more than a few times.</i>    

404
00:22:49,469 --> 00:22:53,604
   <i> But despite his rap sheet,</i>  
   <i> Jesse has a heart of gold.</i>  

405
00:22:53,606 --> 00:22:56,841
     <i> Fortunately, Jesse was</i>    
     <i> released just in time</i>     

406
00:22:56,843 --> 00:22:58,409
       <i> to be a groomsman</i>       
        <i> in the wedding.</i>        

407
00:22:58,411 --> 00:23:00,211
           Hey, man,            
     you take care of that?     

408
00:23:00,213 --> 00:23:03,714
    Oh, yeah, man, for sure.    
Butterfly's bringing her girls. 

409
00:23:03,716 --> 00:23:05,916
           Butterfly?           

410
00:23:05,918 --> 00:23:07,518
   <i> Butterfly is Jesse's wife,</i>  

411
00:23:07,520 --> 00:23:10,020
    <i> and she's just as tough</i>    
           <i> as Jesse.</i>           

412
00:23:10,022 --> 00:23:13,023
        <i> Butterfly's done</i>       
        <i> some bad things.</i>       

413
00:23:14,594 --> 00:23:15,993
        [woman shouting]        

414
00:23:17,430 --> 00:23:20,097
    <i> Some really bad things.</i>    

415
00:23:20,099 --> 00:23:22,032
       <i> But whenever Jesse</i>      
        <i> gets locked up,</i>        

416
00:23:22,034 --> 00:23:23,501
 <i> Butterfly writes him letters,</i> 

417
00:23:23,503 --> 00:23:25,970
    <i> keeps money on his books</i>   
        <i> and visits him.</i>        

418
00:23:25,972 --> 00:23:27,571
     <i> Even I have to admit,</i>     

419
00:23:27,573 --> 00:23:31,342
      <i> Jesse and Butterfly</i>      
  <i> are perfect for each other.</i>  

420
00:23:31,344 --> 00:23:34,645
    <i> One of Butterfly's many</i>    
 <i> hustles is managing strippers.</i>

421
00:23:34,647 --> 00:23:38,416
      <i> According to Jesse,</i>      
<i>she's got real quality product.</i> 

422
00:23:38,418 --> 00:23:40,751
          - Fuckin' A!          
        - [Jesse laughs]        

423
00:23:40,753 --> 00:23:42,620
      Yeah, man, she's got      
     a batch of 'em comin'.     

424
00:23:42,622 --> 00:23:44,588
          But listen,           
  Butterfly don't take no shit  

425
00:23:44,590 --> 00:23:46,190
    when it comes to clients    
    messin' with her girls.     

426
00:23:46,192 --> 00:23:47,892
   Don't worry about it, man.   
            Listen.             

427
00:23:47,894 --> 00:23:49,393
   We're all respectable men.   

428
00:23:49,395 --> 00:23:51,228
        - It's all good.        
          - All right.          

429
00:23:51,230 --> 00:23:52,530
 Let's have a good night then.  

430
00:23:52,532 --> 00:23:54,765
         Wait a minute!         
    Aaron, what is he doing?    

431
00:23:54,767 --> 00:23:56,400
         Floyd, listen.         
          Hey, listen.          

432
00:23:56,402 --> 00:23:58,669
        Nobody is going         
         to jail, okay?         

433
00:23:58,671 --> 00:24:01,639
   - But we agreed. No drugs!   
     - It's just marijuana.     

434
00:24:01,641 --> 00:24:03,474
    Besides, it's medicinal.    
           It's fine.           

435
00:24:03,476 --> 00:24:04,975
        [doorbell rings]        

436
00:24:04,977 --> 00:24:09,480
  Listen, I'm gonna get that.   
 You just sit down right here.  

437
00:24:09,482 --> 00:24:12,483
        Relax and, uh...        

438
00:24:12,485 --> 00:24:14,618
            inhale.             

439
00:24:14,620 --> 00:24:16,320
      Yeah, there you go.       

440
00:24:16,322 --> 00:24:18,122
 Don't forget to lock the door! 

441
00:24:18,124 --> 00:24:21,358
- Hey, you wanna hit this shit? 
             - No!              

442
00:24:21,360 --> 00:24:23,594
      <i> I was really hoping</i>      
      <i> Miles could make it.</i>     

443
00:24:23,596 --> 00:24:25,863
       <i> It's been a minute</i>      
     <i> since we've seen him.</i>     

444
00:24:25,865 --> 00:24:27,498
<i>We're all so damn proud of him.</i> 

445
00:24:27,500 --> 00:24:31,769
    <i> We get excited whenever</i>    
    <i> we get a chance to see--</i>   

446
00:24:31,771 --> 00:24:32,870
              Gus?              

447
00:24:32,872 --> 00:24:34,905
       The one and only.        

448
00:24:34,907 --> 00:24:36,207
      <i> Gus wasn't invited.</i>      

449
00:24:36,209 --> 00:24:38,275
           Now surely           
       you assholes know        

450
00:24:38,277 --> 00:24:41,278
   that a party ain't a party   
  without the Gus-Man, right?   

451
00:24:41,280 --> 00:24:43,280
        How did you know        
         we were here?          

452
00:24:43,282 --> 00:24:46,417
      Hey, you never know       
  what to expect from ol' Gus.  

453
00:24:46,419 --> 00:24:49,820
   Guess that's what makes me   
  such an outstanding person.   

454
00:24:49,822 --> 00:24:51,322
            [spits]             

455
00:24:52,625 --> 00:24:55,860
           Whoo! Yes!           

456
00:24:55,862 --> 00:24:58,362
   It reminds me of that game   
   against Mount Vernon High.   

457
00:24:58,364 --> 00:24:59,797
 You remember that game, right? 

458
00:24:59,799 --> 00:25:02,399
      <i> Sean and I know Gus</i>      
       <i> from high school.</i>       

459
00:25:02,401 --> 00:25:04,368
  <i> Most people don't like Gus.</i>  

460
00:25:04,370 --> 00:25:07,605
     <i> To be honest, I'm not</i>     
  <i> too crazy about him myself.</i>  

461
00:25:07,607 --> 00:25:08,906
    And I smashed that puck     

462
00:25:08,908 --> 00:25:10,641
         right through          
    that goalie's five-hole.    

463
00:25:10,643 --> 00:25:12,643
        <i> Gus has a lot of</i>       
     <i> unlikeable qualities.</i>     

464
00:25:12,645 --> 00:25:15,379
   <i> For instance, he's always</i>   
     <i> talking about himself.</i>    

465
00:25:15,381 --> 00:25:17,648
      <i> Always trying to be</i>      
    <i> the center of attention.</i>   

466
00:25:17,650 --> 00:25:20,384
  I'm just the type of person   
   whose light is so bright,    

467
00:25:20,386 --> 00:25:22,586
it's kinda hard to be around me,
     you know what I mean?      

468
00:25:22,588 --> 00:25:24,788
   I'm the type of person who   
 women just find themselves...  

469
00:25:24,790 --> 00:25:27,658
        <i> And always using</i>       
   <i> big words out of context.</i>   

470
00:25:27,660 --> 00:25:30,194
       Because my style,        
  it's irrevocable, you know?   

471
00:25:30,196 --> 00:25:32,530
       It's ubiquitous to       
  my atmospheric surroundings.  

472
00:25:32,532 --> 00:25:35,232
         <i> But before you</i>        
     <i> pass judgment on Gus,</i>     

473
00:25:35,234 --> 00:25:36,834
     <i> you have to understand</i>    
      <i> what helped mold him</i>     

474
00:25:36,836 --> 00:25:39,470
 <i> into the asshole he is today.</i> 

475
00:25:39,472 --> 00:25:42,273
      <i> Although this might</i>      
      <i> be hard to believe,</i>      

476
00:25:42,275 --> 00:25:45,209
    <i> Gus used to be the shit.</i>   

477
00:25:45,211 --> 00:25:46,610
  <i> When we were in high school,</i> 

478
00:25:46,612 --> 00:25:48,646
     <i> Gus was the number one</i>    
         <i> hockey player.</i>        

479
00:25:48,648 --> 00:25:51,882
    <i> Everybody thought he was</i>   
 <i> gonna go pro, especially Gus,</i> 

480
00:25:51,884 --> 00:25:55,853
   <i> but his fucked-up attitude</i>  
     <i> fucked up everything.</i>     

481
00:25:55,855 --> 00:25:57,388
      <i> Now, 20 years later,</i>     

482
00:25:57,390 --> 00:25:59,290
       <i> he's still trying</i>       
     <i> to convince everybody</i>     

483
00:25:59,292 --> 00:26:00,724
     <i> how great he still is.</i>    

484
00:26:00,726 --> 00:26:02,626
        Oh ho ho ho ho!         

485
00:26:02,628 --> 00:26:07,498
         Look who's in          
   the motherfucking hittee!    

486
00:26:07,500 --> 00:26:08,299
           Hey, hey!            

487
00:26:08,301 --> 00:26:10,467
  Who in the heck is this guy?  

488
00:26:10,469 --> 00:26:14,305
       I don't know him.        
 He's not one of the groomsmen. 

489
00:26:14,307 --> 00:26:15,906
     Why is he in my house?     

490
00:26:15,908 --> 00:26:17,508
          Uh, I'm Gus.          

491
00:26:17,510 --> 00:26:19,643
      Surely you've heard       
  Aaron and Sean tell stories   

492
00:26:19,645 --> 00:26:22,580
      about my glory days       
     in high school, hello?     

493
00:26:22,582 --> 00:26:24,582
      I was the shit, no?       

494
00:26:24,584 --> 00:26:26,183
    Never heard of you, Gus.    

495
00:26:26,185 --> 00:26:28,319
     Now, would you please      
      get out of my house?      

496
00:26:28,321 --> 00:26:31,822
     Gus, this was sort of      
  an invite-only kinda thing.   

497
00:26:31,824 --> 00:26:35,526
    Oh, no, no, that's cool.    
    I invited myself, yeah.     

498
00:26:35,528 --> 00:26:38,395
         Will somebody          
      please tell this guy      

499
00:26:38,397 --> 00:26:40,664
   that a party ain't a party   
      without the Gus-man?      

500
00:26:40,666 --> 00:26:43,000
         Hello, hello!          
            [laughs]            

501
00:26:43,002 --> 00:26:47,304
  I'm here to see my boy Sean   
    bitin' the poison apple!    

502
00:26:47,306 --> 00:26:50,774
            [laughs]            

503
00:26:50,776 --> 00:26:53,410
    Gus, if you don't leave,    

504
00:26:53,412 --> 00:26:56,080
         I'll be forced         
      to call the police.       

505
00:26:56,082 --> 00:26:58,115
        Is he forced to         
        call the police?        

506
00:26:58,117 --> 00:27:00,751
     Man, fuck the police!      

507
00:27:00,753 --> 00:27:02,453
  I ain't afraid of no popos!   

508
00:27:02,455 --> 00:27:05,122
      My heart don't pump       
          no Kool-Aid!          

509
00:27:05,124 --> 00:27:06,590
    Besides, cops wanted me.    

510
00:27:06,592 --> 00:27:08,192
      They were begging me      
      to join their ranks,      

511
00:27:08,194 --> 00:27:09,727
 They were begging me to join,  

512
00:27:09,729 --> 00:27:13,464
      but then I realized       
I'm too law-abiding to be a cop.

513
00:27:13,466 --> 00:27:17,234
            [laughs]            

514
00:27:17,236 --> 00:27:18,402
     Follow me on that one.     

515
00:27:18,404 --> 00:27:20,270
     Okay, okay, that's it!     

516
00:27:20,272 --> 00:27:22,539
         Last warning!          
      It's gonna get ugly       

517
00:27:22,541 --> 00:27:25,676
   if you don't get the heck    
        out of my house!        

518
00:27:25,678 --> 00:27:27,277
        Floyd, Floyd...         

519
00:27:27,279 --> 00:27:29,546
    Floyd, Floyd, calm down.    

520
00:27:29,548 --> 00:27:33,117
    Can you cut Gus a break,    
           all right?           

521
00:27:33,119 --> 00:27:34,885
          Okay, sorry.          

522
00:27:34,887 --> 00:27:38,222
Aaron promised it would be eight
  people total, including me.   

523
00:27:38,224 --> 00:27:39,490
      Eight people total.       

524
00:27:39,492 --> 00:27:41,725
  I hear you, and we're sorry.  

525
00:27:41,727 --> 00:27:45,029
      Look, I will admit,       
       Gus is an asshole.       

526
00:27:45,031 --> 00:27:47,498
 But I would feel like a bigger 
asshole if I asked him to leave 

527
00:27:47,500 --> 00:27:49,566
   after he came all this way   
     to celebrate with me.      

528
00:27:49,568 --> 00:27:51,502
  Do you know what I'm saying?  

529
00:27:51,504 --> 00:27:56,540
     So can you just do me      
      this solid, please?       

530
00:27:57,743 --> 00:28:00,310
      You promise he won't      
       touch me anymore?        

531
00:28:00,312 --> 00:28:03,580
      We'll try our best.       

532
00:28:05,184 --> 00:28:07,217
            - Okay.             
            - Okay?             

533
00:28:07,219 --> 00:28:09,053
     Good. You look sharp,      
          by the way.           

534
00:28:09,055 --> 00:28:11,188
           - Very<i> GQ.</i>           
             - Yes.             

535
00:28:11,190 --> 00:28:12,923
     Can I borrow that tie      
           sometime?            

536
00:28:12,925 --> 00:28:14,291
          - Of course!          
          - All right.          

537
00:28:14,293 --> 00:28:16,694
        - It's all good.        
        - It's all good?        

538
00:28:16,696 --> 00:28:18,996
         To be honest,          
    I really wasn't worried.    

539
00:28:18,998 --> 00:28:20,798
     You guys aren't crazy.     

540
00:28:20,800 --> 00:28:23,333
       So how's life been       
      treatin' you, Sean?       

541
00:28:23,335 --> 00:28:25,436
       - Life's pretty--        
    - That is so great, man.    

542
00:28:25,438 --> 00:28:28,505
   My life is just fantastic.   
  Things are so good with me.   

543
00:28:28,507 --> 00:28:30,207
     They're just so good,      
           you know?            

544
00:28:30,209 --> 00:28:32,342
     They just keep getting     
       better and better.       

545
00:28:32,344 --> 00:28:34,078
    My team is doing great.     

546
00:28:34,080 --> 00:28:35,446
          Then again,           
     how could they not be      

547
00:28:35,448 --> 00:28:37,715
     with such a great and      
    pulchritudinous leader,     

548
00:28:37,717 --> 00:28:38,615
     you know what I mean?      

549
00:28:38,617 --> 00:28:40,317
 Hey, so how's the missus, huh? 

550
00:28:40,319 --> 00:28:42,953
        Or should I say         
       soon to be missus?       

551
00:28:42,955 --> 00:28:45,456
        - Irene, she's--        
  - Oh, man, my wife Mary-Lou,  

552
00:28:45,458 --> 00:28:47,291
    she's hanging in there.     

553
00:28:47,293 --> 00:28:49,093
        Once in a while,        
   she gets a little mouthy,    

554
00:28:49,095 --> 00:28:52,196
 nothing that a quick backhand  
  or a right hook can't solve.  

555
00:28:52,198 --> 00:28:53,864
   You know what I mean? Hey.   

556
00:28:53,866 --> 00:28:55,566
        Word to the wise        
        about marriage.         

557
00:28:55,568 --> 00:28:57,000
      You better establish      
         your dominance         

558
00:28:57,002 --> 00:28:58,402
        coming right out        
       the freaking gate        

559
00:28:58,404 --> 00:29:00,237
     because if you do not,     

560
00:29:00,239 --> 00:29:02,673
         you will live          
     the rest of your days      

561
00:29:02,675 --> 00:29:05,142
        as a henpecked,         
      yellow-belly eunuch.      

562
00:29:05,144 --> 00:29:07,177
          Believe me.           

563
00:29:07,179 --> 00:29:08,712
            I know.             

564
00:29:08,714 --> 00:29:10,814
             - Wow.             
            - Yeah.             

565
00:29:12,184 --> 00:29:16,320
            [laughs]            

566
00:29:16,322 --> 00:29:17,855
       Wow, that's crazy.       
      Speaking of which--       

567
00:29:17,857 --> 00:29:20,457
      Hey, do you remember      
  that game that I won for us   

568
00:29:20,459 --> 00:29:22,659
     against Schroeder High     
      in our junior year?       

569
00:29:22,661 --> 00:29:25,329
 I just pulled that article out 
     yesterday and read it.     

570
00:29:25,331 --> 00:29:26,697
    They had us down by 11.     

571
00:29:26,699 --> 00:29:28,832
 The entire team had given up,  
          but not me.           

572
00:29:28,834 --> 00:29:31,335
        No, no, no, no.         
  I knew if I wanted that win,  

573
00:29:31,337 --> 00:29:33,237
       I had to take over       
        like a real man.        

574
00:29:33,239 --> 00:29:35,439
   That's when I sliced that    
 big overgrown bitch Whittaker  

575
00:29:35,441 --> 00:29:37,674
   right across his face and    
made him bleed out of his chin. 

576
00:29:37,676 --> 00:29:39,810
         He was crying,         
  bleeding all over the eyes.   

577
00:29:39,812 --> 00:29:41,044
    - Do you remember that?     
       - [doorbell rings]       

578
00:29:41,046 --> 00:29:42,446
     I think that's Miles.      

579
00:29:42,448 --> 00:29:44,081
    GUS: You don't remember     
           that game?           

580
00:29:44,083 --> 00:29:46,216
   I slashed him right across   
  his fuckin' face, remember?   

581
00:29:46,218 --> 00:29:48,919
    I was the fuckin' hero,     
         remember that?         

582
00:29:48,921 --> 00:29:51,522
  Make sure you lock the door!  

583
00:29:58,631 --> 00:30:01,932
     Oh, yeah, there he is!     
         How you doin'?         

584
00:30:01,934 --> 00:30:03,000
     How are you, brother?      

585
00:30:03,002 --> 00:30:04,535
     Good to see you, man.      

586
00:30:04,537 --> 00:30:06,336
   <i> Miles went to high school</i>   
         <i> with us, too.</i>         

587
00:30:06,338 --> 00:30:09,273
   <i> Later this year, he'll be</i>   
<i>retiring from a very successful</i> 

588
00:30:09,275 --> 00:30:10,808
  <i> professional hockey career.</i>  

589
00:30:10,810 --> 00:30:13,277
      <i> He's pretty fuckin'</i>      
        <i> rich and famous.</i>       

590
00:30:13,279 --> 00:30:14,812
    <i> But despite his success,</i>   

591
00:30:14,814 --> 00:30:19,149
 <i> Miles is probably the humblest</i>
     <i> and nicest guy I know.</i>    

592
00:30:19,151 --> 00:30:20,450
   All right, how's the fam?    

593
00:30:20,452 --> 00:30:22,152
         Oh, the girl's         
       too informed, man.       

594
00:30:22,154 --> 00:30:23,887
 You gotta give 'em mind, man.  
     They miss Uncle Aaron.     

595
00:30:23,889 --> 00:30:25,656
        I would love to.        
     I would love to, man.      

596
00:30:25,658 --> 00:30:27,825
      - Is everybody here?      
  - Yeah, everyone's out back.  

597
00:30:27,827 --> 00:30:31,562
             Oh...              

598
00:30:31,564 --> 00:30:33,163
             shit!              

599
00:30:33,165 --> 00:30:34,865
       - What's up, man?        
         - How are you?         

600
00:30:34,867 --> 00:30:36,700
 - Good, man, good seeing you.  
       - Good to see you.       

601
00:30:36,702 --> 00:30:38,535
      <i> I don't know if any</i>      
      <i> of the other fellas</i>      

602
00:30:38,537 --> 00:30:41,505
       <i> have ever noticed</i>       
   <i> how much Gus hates Miles.</i>   

603
00:30:41,507 --> 00:30:43,207
       <i> I don't even think</i>      
        <i> Miles knows it.</i>        

604
00:30:43,209 --> 00:30:45,776
 <i> Gus's grudge goes all the way</i> 
      <i> back to high school</i>      

605
00:30:45,778 --> 00:30:50,214
    <i> when Gus was number one</i>    
   <i> and Miles was number two.</i>   

606
00:30:50,216 --> 00:30:53,717
  <i> I guess I can understand why</i> 
 <i> Gus would be a little envious.</i>

607
00:30:53,719 --> 00:30:56,486
 <i> Miles is a star hockey player.</i>

608
00:30:56,488 --> 00:30:58,889
      <i> Gus is a high school</i>     
         <i> hockey coach.</i>         

609
00:30:58,891 --> 00:31:00,891
     <i> Miles married a model.</i>    

610
00:31:00,893 --> 00:31:03,894
     <i> Gus's wife is... nice.</i>    

611
00:31:03,896 --> 00:31:05,796
    <i> Miles is a millionaire.</i>    

612
00:31:05,798 --> 00:31:08,799
         <i> Gus is broke.</i>         

613
00:31:08,801 --> 00:31:10,868
     <i> Everybody loves Miles.</i>    

614
00:31:10,870 --> 00:31:13,170
      <i> Everybody hates Gus.</i>     

615
00:31:13,172 --> 00:31:15,138
       - Good to see you.       
          - You, too.           

616
00:31:15,140 --> 00:31:17,374
       Hey! There he is.        

617
00:31:17,376 --> 00:31:19,543
        - Hey, brother.         
        - Oh! Hey, yeah.        

618
00:31:19,545 --> 00:31:21,211
    - Good to see you, Gus.     
             - Mmm.             

619
00:31:21,213 --> 00:31:24,348
  Oh, man, it's been too long.  
    How's life treatin' ya?     

620
00:31:24,350 --> 00:31:26,516
            Oh, man,            
 everything's perfect with me.  

621
00:31:26,518 --> 00:31:28,518
          It's just--           
    Couldn't be any better.     

622
00:31:28,520 --> 00:31:30,087
     Got the fuckin' world      
          by the ass!           

623
00:31:30,089 --> 00:31:31,822
            - Nice.             
     - What's up with you?      

624
00:31:31,824 --> 00:31:34,691
      Oh, shit! I've been       
      meaning to tell you.      

625
00:31:34,693 --> 00:31:35,959
        I saw that game,        

626
00:31:35,961 --> 00:31:37,694
 your last game that you played 
       against the Ducks.       

627
00:31:37,696 --> 00:31:40,264
        Your game seemed        
    a little off, you know?     

628
00:31:40,266 --> 00:31:42,733
  Like maybe you couldn't get   
around the ice like you used to.

629
00:31:42,735 --> 00:31:46,603
Isn't that a shame when players 
 play longer than they should?  

630
00:31:46,605 --> 00:31:49,773
    A guy needs to know when    
  his time has come and gone.   

631
00:31:49,775 --> 00:31:51,174
     You know what I mean,      
           don't you?           

632
00:31:51,176 --> 00:31:53,076
      - Yeah, I feel you.       
        - Yeah, cheers.         

633
00:31:53,078 --> 00:31:54,611
     There's supposed to be     
   some bitches coming, man.    

634
00:31:54,613 --> 00:31:56,513
     I'll see you in there.     

635
00:32:03,355 --> 00:32:05,188
     - What are you doing?      
      - Nothing. Nothing.       

636
00:32:05,190 --> 00:32:06,823
     - What are you doing?      
           - Nothing.           

637
00:32:06,825 --> 00:32:08,759
     You were about to call     
      Irene, weren't you?       

638
00:32:08,761 --> 00:32:09,860
             What?              

639
00:32:09,862 --> 00:32:11,461
            No! No.             

640
00:32:11,463 --> 00:32:13,130
     - Give me your phone.      
             - No.              

641
00:32:13,132 --> 00:32:15,832
  Give me your fuckin' phone!   
     Get the fuck outside!      

642
00:32:15,834 --> 00:32:18,435
           All right,           
     I'm sorry, I'm sorry.      

643
00:32:18,437 --> 00:32:19,603
           I'm going.           

644
00:32:19,605 --> 00:32:21,538
       <i> Sean's got it bad.</i>      

645
00:32:21,540 --> 00:32:24,308
     <i> Worse than I thought.</i>     

646
00:32:24,310 --> 00:32:27,010
   <i> Although it's kinda weird</i>   
     <i> not getting any calls</i>     

647
00:32:27,012 --> 00:32:29,146
      <i> or texts from Kayla.</i>     

648
00:32:29,148 --> 00:32:31,915
        <i> [romantic music]</i>       

649
00:32:35,287 --> 00:32:37,621
      <i> We used to randomly</i>      
  <i> send each other funny texts</i>  

650
00:32:37,623 --> 00:32:40,857
  <i> and pics throughout the day.</i> 

651
00:32:49,802 --> 00:32:52,502
         <i> And sometimes</i>         
       <i> we just hung out,</i>       

652
00:32:52,504 --> 00:32:56,406
        <i> not even talking</i>       
          <i> or laughing.</i>         

653
00:32:56,408 --> 00:32:58,608
         <i> Just silence.</i>         

654
00:33:04,717 --> 00:33:06,316
     <i> Even when I was sick,</i>     

655
00:33:06,318 --> 00:33:09,753
    <i> like the time I thought</i>    
   <i> I had the bubonic plague,</i>   

656
00:33:09,755 --> 00:33:11,621
    <i> Kayla still came around,</i>   

657
00:33:11,623 --> 00:33:15,659
        <i> took care of me</i>        
       <i> and made me laugh.</i>      

658
00:33:22,701 --> 00:33:27,170
   <i> [romantic music continues]</i>  

659
00:33:27,172 --> 00:33:28,672
       <i> [record scratches]</i>      

660
00:33:28,674 --> 00:33:30,640
   What the fuck am I doin'?    

661
00:33:34,680 --> 00:33:37,114
         Hey, Stanley,          
    is Uncle Ulysses coming?    

662
00:33:37,116 --> 00:33:38,648
   How the fuck would I know?   

663
00:33:38,650 --> 00:33:41,018
    Do I look like a goddamn    
         party planner?         

664
00:33:41,020 --> 00:33:42,686
             Fuck!              

665
00:33:43,689 --> 00:33:45,822
       Tom Cruise-looking       
         motherfucker!          

666
00:33:45,824 --> 00:33:48,725
         <i> Uncle Ulysses</i>         
  <i> is Sean and Stanley's uncle.</i> 

667
00:33:48,727 --> 00:33:51,094
           <i> Actually,</i>           
    <i> he's their great-uncle.</i>    

668
00:33:51,096 --> 00:33:53,697
        <i> Uncle Ulysses is</i>       
    <i> a real interesting dude.</i>   

669
00:33:53,699 --> 00:33:56,333
<i>He's sort of a Renaissance man.</i> 

670
00:33:56,335 --> 00:33:58,168
    <i> He's traveled the world.</i>   

671
00:33:58,170 --> 00:34:01,138
     <i> He's met, hung out and</i>    
  <i> gotten drunk with everybody.</i> 

672
00:34:01,140 --> 00:34:05,575
<i>Presidents, kings, movie stars,</i> 
    <i> gangsters, you name it.</i>    

673
00:34:05,577 --> 00:34:07,577
      <i> He's been a soldier,</i>     
        <i> a medicine man,</i>        

674
00:34:07,579 --> 00:34:09,146
       <i> a fortune teller,</i>       
          <i> a mercenary,</i>         

675
00:34:09,148 --> 00:34:11,548
    <i> a migrant fruit-picker,</i>    
         <i> a pearl diver,</i>        

676
00:34:11,550 --> 00:34:13,116
    <i> and who know what else.</i>    

677
00:34:13,118 --> 00:34:14,985
      <i> He never got married</i>     
        <i> or had any kids.</i>       

678
00:34:14,987 --> 00:34:16,553
       <i> Most importantly,</i>       

679
00:34:16,555 --> 00:34:21,992
    <i> it's been said that he's</i>   
    <i> nailed over 3,000 women.</i>   

680
00:34:21,994 --> 00:34:23,827
         <i> I believe it.</i>         

681
00:34:25,330 --> 00:34:28,432
  <i> Uncle Ulysses is most famous</i> 
   <i> for being a party animal.</i>   

682
00:34:28,434 --> 00:34:31,668
      <i> He's known worldwide</i>     
 <i> as being the Yoda of drinking.</i>

683
00:34:31,670 --> 00:34:33,236
    <i> On countless occasions,</i>    

684
00:34:33,238 --> 00:34:37,941
     <i> he's drank Sean and I</i>     
        <i> under the table.</i>       

685
00:34:37,943 --> 00:34:39,176
           <i> Literally.</i>          

686
00:34:39,178 --> 00:34:41,611
      <i> Another thing about</i>      
         <i> Uncle Ulysses,</i>        

687
00:34:41,613 --> 00:34:43,413
      <i> he walks everywhere.</i>     

688
00:34:43,415 --> 00:34:47,517
     <i> Whether it's 20 blocks</i>    
     <i> or 20 miles, he walks.</i>    

689
00:34:47,519 --> 00:34:50,787
  <i> And he carries that goddamn</i>  
  <i> suitcase everywhere he goes.</i> 

690
00:34:50,789 --> 00:34:53,190
     <i> Although I've inquired</i>    
       <i> many, many times,</i>       

691
00:34:53,192 --> 00:34:57,327
   <i> nobody knows what's inside</i>  
     <i> his goddamn suitcase.</i>     

692
00:34:57,329 --> 00:35:02,132
   <i> Like I said, Uncle Ulysses</i>  
  <i> is a real interesting dude.</i>  

693
00:35:02,134 --> 00:35:04,067
             Aloha!             

694
00:35:04,069 --> 00:35:05,602
             Hello!             

695
00:35:05,604 --> 00:35:07,537
     How'd you get in here?     

696
00:35:07,539 --> 00:35:09,372
       I told you to lock       
        the front door.         

697
00:35:09,374 --> 00:35:11,508
            - I did.            
        - How you doin'?        

698
00:35:11,510 --> 00:35:13,810
          Well, well.           

699
00:35:13,812 --> 00:35:16,980
          Hello, you!           
            [laughs]            

700
00:35:16,982 --> 00:35:20,817
    - Good to see you, man.     
       - Oh! Let's party!       

701
00:35:24,323 --> 00:35:25,922
        Oh! Be careful.         

702
00:35:25,924 --> 00:35:28,525
      Guys, what is this,       
    like a gay circle jerk?     

703
00:35:28,527 --> 00:35:31,628
       I came to see some       
        titties and ass!        

704
00:35:31,630 --> 00:35:34,464
   Tonight's collective toast   
       is to a young man        

705
00:35:34,466 --> 00:35:37,767
       who's committed to       
 the most wonderful commitment  

706
00:35:37,769 --> 00:35:40,103
  an individual can commit to.  

707
00:35:41,507 --> 00:35:46,209
  Sean, I wish you love, life   
          and liberty.          

708
00:35:47,946 --> 00:35:49,746
           All right!           

709
00:35:52,217 --> 00:35:55,218
       Sean, I love you,        
     you're my best friend,     

710
00:35:55,220 --> 00:35:56,987
     but it's not too late      
          to back out.          

711
00:35:56,989 --> 00:36:01,191
           - [laughs]           
    - [applause and cheers]     

712
00:36:01,193 --> 00:36:03,093
             [gags]             

713
00:36:03,095 --> 00:36:04,394
            [spits]             
              Oh!               

714
00:36:04,396 --> 00:36:05,862
            [laughs]            
             Pussy!             

715
00:36:07,900 --> 00:36:09,566
    Hey, Miles, I wanna say     
         congrats, cuz.         

716
00:36:09,568 --> 00:36:11,201
   Irene's good people, man.    

717
00:36:11,203 --> 00:36:13,537
     Hope y'all have a gang     
 of little motherfuckers, man.  

718
00:36:13,539 --> 00:36:15,906
        This is to you.         

719
00:36:15,908 --> 00:36:17,140
           [applause]           

720
00:36:17,142 --> 00:36:18,208
         There you go.          

721
00:36:18,210 --> 00:36:21,178
        So long, sucker!        

722
00:36:21,180 --> 00:36:24,147
            [laughs]            

723
00:36:26,485 --> 00:36:27,851
             Whoo!              

724
00:36:27,853 --> 00:36:31,121
  - Hey, man, pass that shit.   
        - Come on, pass!        

725
00:36:31,123 --> 00:36:32,422
      Pass, pass, come on!      

726
00:36:32,424 --> 00:36:33,623
             Fuck.              

727
00:36:36,328 --> 00:36:37,961
     Congratulations, Sean.     

728
00:36:37,963 --> 00:36:42,032
   I just wanna wish you and    
  your new wife all the best.   

729
00:36:42,034 --> 00:36:44,301
      Please take it easy       
          on my house.          

730
00:36:44,303 --> 00:36:47,571
          Oh, no, no.           

731
00:36:49,107 --> 00:36:52,742
   I've been looking forward    
      to this a long time.      

732
00:36:57,449 --> 00:37:00,250
       That's some shit.        
            [burps]             

733
00:37:00,252 --> 00:37:01,551
    Congratulations to Sean.    

734
00:37:01,553 --> 00:37:03,220
    We go way back, my man.     

735
00:37:03,222 --> 00:37:05,522
 Contrary to what these jokers  
are trying to make you believe, 

736
00:37:05,524 --> 00:37:07,724
           marriage,            
    it's a beautiful thing.     

737
00:37:07,726 --> 00:37:10,594
    Just always keep it real    
        with each other.        

738
00:37:10,596 --> 00:37:13,196
       - Cheers, my man.        
          - [applause]          

739
00:37:15,133 --> 00:37:16,233
           God damn.            

740
00:37:17,936 --> 00:37:20,103
             Here.              

741
00:37:20,105 --> 00:37:21,638
        Why you gonna be        
      an asshole, Stanley?      

742
00:37:21,640 --> 00:37:23,506
         Suck my dick.          

743
00:37:23,508 --> 00:37:27,444
I wanted all of you to be a part
  of my big day for a reason.   

744
00:37:27,446 --> 00:37:30,513
   Each of you helped mold me   
    into the man I am today.    

745
00:37:30,515 --> 00:37:31,581
          Yes, I did!           

746
00:37:31,583 --> 00:37:34,217
        Good... and bad.        

747
00:37:34,219 --> 00:37:35,252
            [laughs]            

748
00:37:35,254 --> 00:37:37,821
          I appreciate          
     every one of you guys.     

749
00:37:37,823 --> 00:37:39,656
 I fuckin' love you, assholes.  

750
00:37:39,658 --> 00:37:41,858
           [laughter]           

751
00:37:41,860 --> 00:37:47,330
  Drink! Drink! Drink! Drink!   
  Drink! Drink! Drink! Drink!   

752
00:37:47,332 --> 00:37:52,369
  Drink! Drink! Drink! Drink!   
  Drink! Drink! Drink! Drink!   

753
00:37:52,371 --> 00:37:54,704
             Drink!             

754
00:37:54,706 --> 00:37:55,872
         Drink! Drink!          

755
00:37:55,874 --> 00:37:58,041
            - Yeah!             
         - Ha ha! Yeah!         

756
00:38:03,315 --> 00:38:05,115
      Here! Keep it full.       

757
00:38:05,117 --> 00:38:06,916
             Yeah!              

758
00:38:08,620 --> 00:38:09,819
             Yeah!              

759
00:38:09,821 --> 00:38:11,454
      Now we got a party.       

760
00:38:11,456 --> 00:38:13,657
    It's all over the floor.    

761
00:38:15,027 --> 00:38:18,161
 So when shall we be expecting  
        these strippers?        

762
00:38:18,163 --> 00:38:20,597
 Don't worry. We have plenty of 
       live entertainment       

763
00:38:20,599 --> 00:38:22,165
        coming shortly.         

764
00:38:22,167 --> 00:38:24,501
  - That's what I wanna hear!   
       - Me fuckin', too!       

765
00:38:24,503 --> 00:38:26,136
           Strippers?           
      Live entertainment?       

766
00:38:26,138 --> 00:38:27,404
            - Yeah.             
            - Dirty.            

767
00:38:27,406 --> 00:38:30,140
  We had an agreement, Aaron.   
      Eight people total.       

768
00:38:30,142 --> 00:38:32,676
        Strippers and/or        
       live entertainment       

769
00:38:32,678 --> 00:38:35,178
      makes way more than       
         eight people!          

770
00:38:35,180 --> 00:38:37,314
         I'm gonna have         
     to shut it down, okay?     

771
00:38:37,316 --> 00:38:39,082
     Okay, guys! That's it!     

772
00:38:39,084 --> 00:38:42,052
  Wait! Just shut the fuck up   
    for a second, all right?    

773
00:38:42,054 --> 00:38:43,320
         You're ruining         
       the goddamn plan!        

774
00:38:43,322 --> 00:38:47,157
   Look! Joy is far, far away   
           from here.           

775
00:38:47,159 --> 00:38:49,926
    Grow some fuckin' balls,    
            will ya?            

776
00:38:49,928 --> 00:38:51,961
    Just calm the fuck down.    

777
00:38:51,963 --> 00:38:54,664
       Have a great time        
      and enjoy yourself.       

778
00:38:54,666 --> 00:38:57,200
        Can you do that?        
       Can you calm down?       

779
00:38:57,202 --> 00:39:00,203
           All right,           
    let's have a good time.     

780
00:39:02,574 --> 00:39:05,775
      [indistinct chatter]      

781
00:39:05,777 --> 00:39:08,778
        Can I borrow you        
         for a second?          

782
00:39:08,780 --> 00:39:11,481
      Now I wanted tonight      
         to be special.         

783
00:39:11,483 --> 00:39:14,517
  I mean really special, okay?  

784
00:39:14,519 --> 00:39:17,387
  Don't ask me how I did this   
'cause I'm never gonna tell you,

785
00:39:17,389 --> 00:39:19,322
             but...             

786
00:39:19,324 --> 00:39:25,795
   I was able to get Epiphany   
        to come tonight.        

787
00:39:25,797 --> 00:39:27,697
        What? Epiphany?         

788
00:39:29,601 --> 00:39:31,234
     <i> To the average person,</i>    

789
00:39:31,236 --> 00:39:34,337
   <i> the name Epiphany probably</i>  
    <i> doesn't mean that much.</i>    

790
00:39:34,339 --> 00:39:35,805
       <i> But those who know</i>      

791
00:39:35,807 --> 00:39:39,175
       <i> know that Epiphany</i>      
         <i> is a stripper.</i>        

792
00:39:39,177 --> 00:39:42,645
       <i> Actually, she used</i>      
       <i> to be a stripper.</i>       

793
00:39:42,647 --> 00:39:44,514
             <i> Now...</i>            

794
00:39:44,516 --> 00:39:46,383
        <i> she's a legend.</i>        

795
00:39:48,553 --> 00:39:50,787
      <i> Epiphany only makes</i>      
      <i> special appearances</i>      

796
00:39:50,789 --> 00:39:52,622
  <i> at select bachelor parties.</i>  

797
00:39:52,624 --> 00:39:54,824
       <i> Mostly she's hired</i>      
       <i> to bang the groom</i>       

798
00:39:54,826 --> 00:39:56,626
 <i> on his last night of freedom.</i> 

799
00:39:56,628 --> 00:39:59,562
    <i> Word has it, after a guy</i>   
    <i> hooks up with Epiphany,</i>    

800
00:39:59,564 --> 00:40:01,264
      <i> he's never the same.</i>     

801
00:40:01,266 --> 00:40:03,466
           <i> Epiphany's</i>          
    <i> unbelievably expensive.</i>    

802
00:40:03,468 --> 00:40:07,737
         <i> But for Sean,</i>         
  <i> she'll be worth every cent.</i>  

803
00:40:09,441 --> 00:40:11,908
     I don't-- I don't know     
          what to say.          

804
00:40:11,910 --> 00:40:15,044
  <i> There's something else about</i> 
   <i> Sean that I find amazing.</i>   

805
00:40:15,046 --> 00:40:17,447
         <i> Sean has never</i>        
       <i> cheated on Irene.</i>       

806
00:40:17,449 --> 00:40:21,217
      <i> No bullshit. Never!</i>      
 <i> That is fucking amazing to me.</i>

807
00:40:21,219 --> 00:40:23,720
     <i> In my humble opinion,</i>     
    <i> cheating is inevitable.</i>    

808
00:40:23,722 --> 00:40:26,189
      <i> How can you wake up</i>      
   <i> to the same face everyday</i>   

809
00:40:26,191 --> 00:40:28,425
    <i> and not get tired of it?</i>   

810
00:40:28,427 --> 00:40:30,760
       <i> Like I always say,</i>      

811
00:40:30,762 --> 00:40:32,762
      <i> a guy could line up</i>      
   <i> all the women in the world</i>  

812
00:40:32,764 --> 00:40:34,964
   <i> and take his time to pick</i>   
    <i> what he considers to be</i>    

813
00:40:34,966 --> 00:40:37,600
    <i> the most beautiful one.</i>    

814
00:40:37,602 --> 00:40:41,037
        <i> In three months,</i>       
     <i> he'll be tired of her.</i>    

815
00:40:41,039 --> 00:40:42,338
             Crap!              

816
00:40:42,340 --> 00:40:44,607
       <i> Everybody cheats.</i>       
    <i> You have to keep in mind</i>   

817
00:40:44,609 --> 00:40:46,910
         <i> men and women</i>         
   <i> see cheating differently.</i>   

818
00:40:46,912 --> 00:40:48,812
   <i> The woman wants to know...</i>  

819
00:40:48,814 --> 00:40:51,347
          I don't care          
       if you fucked her!       

820
00:40:51,349 --> 00:40:52,649
       Did you love her?        

821
00:40:52,651 --> 00:40:54,017
   <i> The guys wants to know...</i>   

822
00:40:54,019 --> 00:40:55,919
 I don't care if you loved him. 

823
00:40:55,921 --> 00:40:58,087
       Did you fuck him?        

824
00:40:58,089 --> 00:41:00,089
     <i> I've never really had</i>     
   <i> a girlfriend to cheat on.</i>   

825
00:41:00,091 --> 00:41:01,724
      <i> But I have to admit,</i>     

826
00:41:01,726 --> 00:41:04,928
   <i> after nailing the last few</i>  
    <i> girls since I met Kayla,</i>   

827
00:41:04,930 --> 00:41:07,197
    <i> I did feel a little bad.</i>   

828
00:41:07,199 --> 00:41:10,900
           Hey, sexy,           
      let's get you home.       

829
00:41:10,902 --> 00:41:12,836
         Don't want you         
     driving home too late.     

830
00:41:12,838 --> 00:41:14,437
        <i> Matter of fact,</i>        
         <i> I felt so bad</i>         

831
00:41:14,439 --> 00:41:16,439
    <i> I actually confessed it</i>    
           <i> to Kayla.</i>           

832
00:41:16,441 --> 00:41:18,408
       <i> I couldn't believe</i>      
   <i> I was snitching on myself.</i>  

833
00:41:18,410 --> 00:41:20,276
    <i> I'd never done anything</i>    
       <i> like that before.</i>       

834
00:41:20,278 --> 00:41:22,612
          <i> It was like</i>          
   <i> an out-of-body experience.</i>  

835
00:41:22,614 --> 00:41:24,514
<i>I expected her to scream, cuss,</i> 

836
00:41:24,516 --> 00:41:27,317
      <i> scratch my eyes out</i>      
         <i> and shank me.</i>         

837
00:41:27,319 --> 00:41:28,685
        <i> But she didn't.</i>        

838
00:41:28,687 --> 00:41:32,188
    <i> We just talked about it.</i>   

839
00:41:32,991 --> 00:41:34,757
      <i> And she forgave me.</i>      

840
00:41:34,759 --> 00:41:37,360
   <i> I mean, I know she wasn't</i>   
   <i> my girlfriend or anything,</i>  

841
00:41:37,362 --> 00:41:40,930
  <i> and I shouldn't care, but...</i> 

842
00:41:40,932 --> 00:41:43,132
        <i> she forgave me.</i>        

843
00:41:43,134 --> 00:41:44,534
              <i> Wow.</i>             

844
00:41:45,604 --> 00:41:48,972
You don't need to say anything. 

845
00:41:48,974 --> 00:41:50,907
      You know what to do.      

846
00:41:50,909 --> 00:41:53,443
         Oh, fuck yeah!         

847
00:41:53,445 --> 00:41:54,978
            - Yeah!             
          - [cheering]          

848
00:41:54,980 --> 00:41:56,813
        [doorbell rings]        

849
00:41:56,815 --> 00:42:00,450
           Oh, shit!            

850
00:42:00,452 --> 00:42:03,419
            ¶¶ [rap]            

851
00:42:08,560 --> 00:42:10,293
    Good evening, gentlemen.    

852
00:42:10,295 --> 00:42:12,128
             Whoo!              

853
00:42:12,130 --> 00:42:14,264
     You all ready to have      
      a good time tonight?      

854
00:42:14,266 --> 00:42:16,199
          - Oh, yeah!           
          - [clapping]          

855
00:42:16,201 --> 00:42:18,134
           All right.           
      Here are the rules.       

856
00:42:18,136 --> 00:42:21,538
          Number one:           
    Do not touch the girls.     

857
00:42:21,540 --> 00:42:23,039
     Boo! That's bullshit!      

858
00:42:23,041 --> 00:42:25,575
      They can touch you,       
   but you can't touch them.    

859
00:42:25,577 --> 00:42:27,243
          I'm serious.          

860
00:42:27,245 --> 00:42:30,813
        Number two: Tip.        

861
00:42:30,815 --> 00:42:33,750
       Performing tonight       
    for your visual pleasure    

862
00:42:33,752 --> 00:42:36,619
        are the finest,         
         the freakiest,         

863
00:42:36,621 --> 00:42:40,690
  the most fascinating bitches  
      to ever work a pole!      

864
00:42:40,692 --> 00:42:42,325
           - Please!            
          - Luscious!           

865
00:42:42,327 --> 00:42:44,527
          Are you boys          
      ready for the night?      

866
00:42:44,529 --> 00:42:45,762
             Yummy!             

867
00:42:45,764 --> 00:42:47,530
       Hello, gentlemen.        

868
00:42:47,532 --> 00:42:48,932
           Precious.            

869
00:42:48,934 --> 00:42:50,767
    Who wants to be spanked?    

870
00:42:50,769 --> 00:42:52,569
             Yeah!              

871
00:42:52,571 --> 00:42:53,636
           Chastity!            

872
00:42:53,638 --> 00:42:55,271
        - Hey, hey, hey.        
          - Delicious.          

873
00:42:55,273 --> 00:42:57,173
     - Hello, hungry boys.      
           - Dreamy.            

874
00:42:57,175 --> 00:42:59,042
     I'll make your dreams      
           come true.           

875
00:42:59,044 --> 00:43:00,143
          Temptation.           

876
00:43:00,145 --> 00:43:03,212
    - You want some of this?    
             - Sin.             

877
00:43:03,214 --> 00:43:05,515
   - You guys ready to party?   
          - Seduction.          

878
00:43:05,517 --> 00:43:06,816
    Who wants to get nasty?     

879
00:43:06,818 --> 00:43:08,885
       All right, girls,        
       go do your thing.        

880
00:43:08,887 --> 00:43:12,155
    <i> ¶ Make that ass bounce ¶</i>   

881
00:43:12,157 --> 00:43:15,892
         <i> ¶ Up and down</i>         
      <i> like a basketball ¶</i>      

882
00:43:15,894 --> 00:43:19,829
    <i> ¶ Your booty's so round</i>    
    <i> Let's play ratchetball ¶</i>   

883
00:43:19,831 --> 00:43:22,832
        Shake that sweet        
       brown shit, girl.        

884
00:43:22,834 --> 00:43:24,467
    Mmm! I like what I see.     

885
00:43:24,469 --> 00:43:28,338
        <i> ¶ Sit this here</i>        
<i>Get nasty on that ass you got ¶</i> 

886
00:43:28,340 --> 00:43:30,073
     <i> ¶ Girl, you better not</i>    
          <i> go past me ¶</i>         

887
00:43:30,075 --> 00:43:32,342
    <i> ¶ I play the sexophone ¶</i>   

888
00:43:32,344 --> 00:43:34,677
       <i> ¶ I don't mind if</i>       
    <i> you get a little jazzy ¶</i>   

889
00:43:34,679 --> 00:43:37,880
        [Harold laughs]         

890
00:43:37,882 --> 00:43:39,215
             Whoo!              

891
00:43:39,217 --> 00:43:41,517
      Dirty old man, you!       

892
00:43:44,689 --> 00:43:47,357
         Ooh! That one.         

893
00:43:47,359 --> 00:43:50,526
       <i> ¶ She a kidnapper</i>       
   <i> Amber alert, Amber alert ¶</i>  

894
00:43:50,528 --> 00:43:53,096
           <i> ¶ Be quiet</i>          
     <i> That's a grown woman ¶</i>    

895
00:43:53,098 --> 00:43:54,664
     <i> ¶ She be in the gym ¶</i>     

896
00:43:54,666 --> 00:43:56,032
      Get over here, girl!      

897
00:43:56,034 --> 00:43:57,100
       Relax, beautiful.        

898
00:43:57,102 --> 00:43:58,668
        Don't... touch.         

899
00:43:58,670 --> 00:44:02,271
   Come on, relax. You and I    
    got a nice rhythm going.    

900
00:44:02,273 --> 00:44:03,673
           Hey, hey,            
      if you're friendly,       

901
00:44:03,675 --> 00:44:05,375
   there'll be a nice fat tip   
         in it for you.         

902
00:44:05,377 --> 00:44:07,644
  Baby, come on, big fat tip!   

903
00:44:12,550 --> 00:44:14,250
          Hey, girls.           

904
00:44:14,252 --> 00:44:16,252
     Do you wanna come out?     

905
00:44:16,254 --> 00:44:18,488
      The guy's your man.       

906
00:44:18,490 --> 00:44:20,556
         [all laughing]         

907
00:44:22,927 --> 00:44:25,561
        HAROLD: Oh, my!         
      If we must, we must.      

908
00:44:25,563 --> 00:44:27,764
         [all laughing]         

909
00:44:27,766 --> 00:44:30,266
   Shit! You girls seem like    
     you may have done this     

910
00:44:30,268 --> 00:44:32,435
    one or two times before.    

911
00:44:34,372 --> 00:44:36,639
           Whoo-hoo!            

912
00:44:36,641 --> 00:44:38,307
           [laughing]           

913
00:44:38,309 --> 00:44:42,211
       I'm an Aztec god!        
         Cheez-alcoatl!         

914
00:44:42,213 --> 00:44:46,015
Is it cool if later, I crawl up 
   inside you and take a nap?   

915
00:44:46,017 --> 00:44:48,217
    This is so fun to watch.    

916
00:44:50,989 --> 00:44:53,322
        Touch your toes,        
        touch your toes.        

917
00:44:53,324 --> 00:44:55,291
      Go ahead, bend over,      
        touch your toes.        

918
00:44:55,293 --> 00:44:57,193
     Wait. Where we going?      

919
00:44:57,195 --> 00:44:59,862
       All right, girls.        

920
00:44:59,864 --> 00:45:02,832
           [laughter]           

921
00:45:02,834 --> 00:45:04,701
           Whoo-hoo!            

922
00:45:09,641 --> 00:45:12,642
             Yeah!              

923
00:45:12,644 --> 00:45:17,513
            [laughs]            

924
00:45:17,515 --> 00:45:20,450
   Remember, you said there's   
  a big fat tip in it for me.   

925
00:45:20,452 --> 00:45:22,351
        Trust me, baby.         

926
00:45:22,353 --> 00:45:24,654
             It is.             

927
00:45:24,656 --> 00:45:25,655
             [slap]             

928
00:45:25,657 --> 00:45:26,723
            [laughs]            

929
00:45:26,725 --> 00:45:27,690
              Ow!               

930
00:45:27,692 --> 00:45:28,825
          Oh, hell no.          

931
00:45:28,827 --> 00:45:30,960
   Hey, asshole, I told you!    

932
00:45:30,962 --> 00:45:32,562
          No touching!          

933
00:45:32,564 --> 00:45:34,630
       - What did I say?        
        - Come on! What?        

934
00:45:34,632 --> 00:45:36,766
       Ladies, that's it.       
    Pack it up, show's over.    

935
00:45:36,768 --> 00:45:37,767
            No! No!             

936
00:45:37,769 --> 00:45:40,036
          Oh, come on!          

937
00:45:40,038 --> 00:45:41,771
            No! No!             

938
00:45:42,774 --> 00:45:44,540
      What'd you do, man?       

939
00:45:44,542 --> 00:45:46,709
         What the fuck          
      did I tell you, man?      

940
00:45:46,711 --> 00:45:47,777
         Be respectful!         

941
00:45:47,779 --> 00:45:51,581
        You motherfuck!         
          [screaming]           

942
00:45:51,583 --> 00:45:54,317
          - Hey! Hey!           
     - Control this animal!     

943
00:45:54,319 --> 00:45:56,886
      Fuck you! Fuck you!       
  What the hell are you doin'?  

944
00:45:56,888 --> 00:45:59,288
   You fuckin' fucked it up!    

945
00:45:59,290 --> 00:46:01,491
    I can't believe you fags    
   are making such a big deal   

946
00:46:01,493 --> 00:46:04,093
     about these stank-ass      
        fuckin' hookers!        

947
00:46:04,095 --> 00:46:06,295
        [doorbell rings]        

948
00:46:09,267 --> 00:46:11,134
         They're back?          

949
00:46:16,007 --> 00:46:17,507
     DETECTIVE: Nice house.     

950
00:46:21,179 --> 00:46:22,712
    Good evening, gentlemen.    

951
00:46:22,714 --> 00:46:25,281
    I'm Detective Armstrong.    
  This is Detective Gonzalez.   

952
00:46:25,283 --> 00:46:29,519
       Well, well, well,        
     if it ain't the popos!     

953
00:46:29,521 --> 00:46:32,221
      Yeah, what can we do      
      for you, Detectives?      

954
00:46:32,223 --> 00:46:35,658
    Looking for this scumbag    
   right here: Jesse Jameson.   

955
00:46:35,660 --> 00:46:36,826
       You guys seen him?       

956
00:46:36,828 --> 00:46:38,494
 Yeah, he escaped from prison.  

957
00:46:38,496 --> 00:46:40,530
    Our sources informed us     
  that he might be right here   

958
00:46:40,532 --> 00:46:42,064
        at his cousin's         
        bachelor party.         

959
00:46:42,066 --> 00:46:44,033
         Is that true?          

960
00:46:44,035 --> 00:46:46,936
        Which one of you        
         is his cousin?         

961
00:46:46,938 --> 00:46:48,070
 That would be me, Detectives,  

962
00:46:48,072 --> 00:46:50,439
    but I haven't seen Jesse    
            in ages.            

963
00:46:50,441 --> 00:46:52,041
         Last I heard,          
    he was still in prison.     

964
00:46:52,043 --> 00:46:53,376
   That's right, Detectives.    

965
00:46:53,378 --> 00:46:55,745
     We're all law-abiding      
         citizens here.         

966
00:46:55,747 --> 00:46:59,682
     We would never harbor      
    a fugitive from the law.    

967
00:46:59,684 --> 00:47:02,819
     [Aaron and Gus laugh]      

968
00:47:02,821 --> 00:47:03,886
         That's crazy.          

969
00:47:03,888 --> 00:47:05,588
  It's just a bachelor party.   

970
00:47:05,590 --> 00:47:06,789
        Bachelor party.         

971
00:47:06,791 --> 00:47:07,957
           All right.           

972
00:47:07,959 --> 00:47:09,792
   You see this motherfucker,   

973
00:47:09,794 --> 00:47:10,827
     give us a call, right?     

974
00:47:10,829 --> 00:47:13,596
 Yes, sir, Detective Armstrong. 

975
00:47:13,598 --> 00:47:14,697
          Absolutely.           

976
00:47:17,869 --> 00:47:19,635
       Let's go. Come on.       

977
00:47:19,637 --> 00:47:22,605
       Whoa, whoa, whoa!        
 Now wait a minute, gentlemen!  

978
00:47:22,607 --> 00:47:24,740
    You sure you don't wanna    
    have a little cocktail?     

979
00:47:24,742 --> 00:47:27,009
      Gus, what are you--       
        Don't be silly.         

980
00:47:27,011 --> 00:47:29,412
      They're detectives.       
 They don't have time for that. 

981
00:47:29,414 --> 00:47:31,080
  They've got crooks to catch.  

982
00:47:31,082 --> 00:47:35,551
   Besides, they can't drink.   
      They're detectives.       

983
00:47:37,522 --> 00:47:40,156
           [laughter]           

984
00:47:40,158 --> 00:47:41,257
           Oh, shit!            

985
00:47:41,259 --> 00:47:42,425
          Sorry, dog!           

986
00:47:42,427 --> 00:47:45,428
      [laughter continues]      

987
00:47:47,432 --> 00:47:49,198
       Hey, I like y'all.       

988
00:47:49,200 --> 00:47:52,568
 Anybody who said it wasn't fun 
 drinking with cops are lying!  

989
00:47:52,570 --> 00:47:54,570
 Y'all motherfuckers are crazy! 

990
00:47:54,572 --> 00:47:56,873
      - We gotta go, man!       
     - [laughter continues]     

991
00:47:58,810 --> 00:48:01,878
    Oh, my God! What the...     

992
00:48:01,880 --> 00:48:05,381
      [indistinct chatter]      

993
00:48:13,558 --> 00:48:16,859
   Okay, they're gone, Jesse!   
     You can come out now!      

994
00:48:16,861 --> 00:48:18,628
   You're dead, motherfucker!   

995
00:48:18,630 --> 00:48:21,864
           [yelling]            

996
00:48:23,034 --> 00:48:24,667
          Get the gun!          

997
00:48:26,337 --> 00:48:28,204
          Fucking gun!          

998
00:48:29,240 --> 00:48:31,140
     - I got it! I got it!      
           - Get off!           

999
00:48:31,142 --> 00:48:34,410
            - Fuck!             
          - [yelling]           

1000
00:48:34,412 --> 00:48:36,178
       That motherfucker        
     almost got me busted!      

1001
00:48:36,180 --> 00:48:38,047
     Hey, I saved your ass!     

1002
00:48:38,049 --> 00:48:41,284
If it wasn't for me, those cops 
 would've left here suspicious! 

1003
00:48:41,286 --> 00:48:42,652
     Gus, shut the fuck up!     

1004
00:48:42,654 --> 00:48:46,489
      Dude, you broke out       
       of fuckin' prison?       

1005
00:48:47,759 --> 00:48:48,858
             Yeah.              

1006
00:48:48,860 --> 00:48:50,126
           [screams]            

1007
00:48:50,128 --> 00:48:51,761
        God damn, Jesse!        

1008
00:48:51,763 --> 00:48:53,696
   Could've got us all busted   
      for hiding you out!       

1009
00:48:53,698 --> 00:48:56,232
     We didn't know we were     
   hiding you out! Fuck, man!   

1010
00:48:59,103 --> 00:49:00,903
      You said you served       
        your time, dude!        

1011
00:49:01,940 --> 00:49:04,106
            I lied.             

1012
00:49:04,108 --> 00:49:07,743
     Look, man, I'm sorry.      
     I have 16 months left.     

1013
00:49:07,745 --> 00:49:08,744
            Oh, God.            

1014
00:49:08,746 --> 00:49:09,845
      Does Butterfly know?      

1015
00:49:09,847 --> 00:49:12,281
            ¶¶ [rap]            

1016
00:49:12,283 --> 00:49:14,884
         [engine revs]          

1017
00:49:14,886 --> 00:49:16,252
        [tires screech]         

1018
00:49:19,657 --> 00:49:22,258
       You're my favorite       
         cousin, Sean.          

1019
00:49:22,260 --> 00:49:26,462
 You always been there for me.  

1020
00:49:26,464 --> 00:49:28,564
      I wasn't gonna miss       
         your big day.          

1021
00:49:28,566 --> 00:49:31,701
I did it 'cause I love you, cuz,
        I swear to God.         

1022
00:49:34,739 --> 00:49:36,939
             Jesus.             

1023
00:49:36,941 --> 00:49:38,274
             Fuck!              

1024
00:49:38,276 --> 00:49:39,775
         I'm so sorry.          

1025
00:49:42,914 --> 00:49:45,715
    Where the fuck is Floyd?    

1026
00:49:47,952 --> 00:49:49,952
   I had to shut his ass up.    

1027
00:49:53,024 --> 00:49:54,557
        [muffled scream]        

1028
00:49:56,694 --> 00:49:59,929
           [mumbles]            

1029
00:50:03,001 --> 00:50:05,668
   Hey, Floyd, how you doin'?   

1030
00:50:05,670 --> 00:50:09,038
   We're having a great time.   
    Just wanna let you know.    

1031
00:50:09,040 --> 00:50:12,074
      And I'm really sorry      
       about all of this.       

1032
00:50:12,076 --> 00:50:15,478
       Just so you know,        
   before I remove this gag,    

1033
00:50:15,480 --> 00:50:19,615
      everything is cool,       
     so just be cool, okay?     

1034
00:50:22,353 --> 00:50:23,619
      Did I hear shooting?      

1035
00:50:23,621 --> 00:50:25,054
   Are the police still here?   

1036
00:50:25,056 --> 00:50:26,422
     Did anybody get shot?      

1037
00:50:26,424 --> 00:50:28,357
  Did they get in the shootout  
         with the cops?         

1038
00:50:28,359 --> 00:50:30,059
      Is anybody bleeding?      
     if they're bleeding--      

1039
00:50:30,061 --> 00:50:31,360
           [mumbles]            

1040
00:50:31,362 --> 00:50:33,262
     No blood in the house!     

1041
00:50:33,264 --> 00:50:34,497
              No!               

1042
00:50:34,499 --> 00:50:38,067
      Get me out of here!       
           [screams]            

1043
00:50:38,069 --> 00:50:41,437
  Dick don't even realize what  
  an altruistic move that was.  

1044
00:50:41,439 --> 00:50:44,507
 The goddamn hero of the hour.  

1045
00:50:44,509 --> 00:50:47,543
  Hey, don't let the bullshit   
       get you down, Gus.       

1046
00:50:47,545 --> 00:50:49,712
 You had good intentions, bro.  
    That's all that matters.    

1047
00:50:49,714 --> 00:50:53,249
    Let's lighten the mood,     
 keep the party going for Sean. 

1048
00:50:53,251 --> 00:50:54,917
            Cheers.             

1049
00:50:54,919 --> 00:50:57,787
What makes you think I need you 
  to lighten my fuckin' mood?   

1050
00:50:57,789 --> 00:51:00,056
         I can lighten          
      my own goddamn mood.      

1051
00:51:00,058 --> 00:51:01,323
              Oh.               

1052
00:51:01,325 --> 00:51:03,559
      Oh, calm down, Gus.       

1053
00:51:03,561 --> 00:51:05,428
           Calm down?           
        I am calm, okay?        

1054
00:51:05,430 --> 00:51:06,829
       I was really calm        
    until you came over here    

1055
00:51:06,831 --> 00:51:09,131
     like Florence Fuckin'      
          Nightingale           

1056
00:51:09,133 --> 00:51:10,399
    with your little toast.     

1057
00:51:10,401 --> 00:51:11,434
       I propose a toast.       

1058
00:51:11,436 --> 00:51:12,935
   Hey, everybody! Hey, guys!   

1059
00:51:12,937 --> 00:51:16,038
  I'd like to propose a toast,  
       a toast to Miles!        

1060
00:51:16,040 --> 00:51:17,606
   Miles, the only guy I know   

1061
00:51:17,608 --> 00:51:20,609
       who's so perfect,        
     his shit don't stink!      

1062
00:51:20,611 --> 00:51:21,877
            Cheers!             

1063
00:51:21,879 --> 00:51:24,880
      What's your problem       
         with me, Gus?          

1064
00:51:24,882 --> 00:51:28,117
   What makes you think I got   
a problem with you, Mr. Perfect?

1065
00:51:28,119 --> 00:51:29,552
     I'm not perfect, Gus.      

1066
00:51:29,554 --> 00:51:31,620
        Oh, I know that.        
 I've been watching your games. 

1067
00:51:31,622 --> 00:51:33,389
         You damn sure          
      ain't perfect, okay?      

1068
00:51:33,391 --> 00:51:36,258
If I'd gone professional by now,
    I'd be better than ever     

1069
00:51:36,260 --> 00:51:38,160
    because I'd be using the    
knowledge and the understanding 

1070
00:51:38,162 --> 00:51:40,463
    and the wisdom that I've    
accumulated throughout the years

1071
00:51:40,465 --> 00:51:42,698
       and combined that        
   with my God-given talent.    

1072
00:51:42,700 --> 00:51:44,366
       But you're not me.       
       You're number two!       

1073
00:51:44,368 --> 00:51:46,569
    You're still number two!    
         Remember that!         

1074
00:51:48,873 --> 00:51:49,972
        MILES: Whatever.        

1075
00:51:49,974 --> 00:51:52,741
    Oh, whatever? Whatever?     

1076
00:51:52,743 --> 00:51:55,411
    I'll show you whatever.     
   Let's take it to the ice!    

1077
00:51:55,413 --> 00:51:58,280
            - What?             
- You heard me, Mr. Hockey Star.

1078
00:51:58,282 --> 00:52:00,950
 I challenge you to a shootout. 
      First three points.       

1079
00:52:00,952 --> 00:52:02,518
     - I got sticks, pucks.     
        - [Sean laughs]         

1080
00:52:02,520 --> 00:52:03,953
          What are you          
      fuckin' laughin' at?      

1081
00:52:03,955 --> 00:52:06,088
      I got sticks, pucks       
   and everything in the car.   

1082
00:52:06,090 --> 00:52:09,258
      I'm so real with it       
   I even got a fuckin' goal!   

1083
00:52:09,260 --> 00:52:10,459
           Let's go!            

1084
00:52:13,131 --> 00:52:15,030
   What's the matter, Miles,    
          you scared?           

1085
00:52:15,032 --> 00:52:17,299
      You're scared? Huh?       

1086
00:52:17,301 --> 00:52:20,302
         Let's rock it!         
         Let's do this.         

1087
00:52:20,304 --> 00:52:23,439
      ¶¶ [sports fanfare]       

1088
00:52:23,441 --> 00:52:25,007
      Watch close, chumps.      

1089
00:52:25,009 --> 00:52:28,611
     You're about to watch      
       a master at work.        

1090
00:52:30,481 --> 00:52:32,548
          Oh, come on!          

1091
00:52:32,550 --> 00:52:35,618
     Do your thing, Miles!      
      Show us that thing!       

1092
00:52:35,620 --> 00:52:38,387
      Watch close, punks!       

1093
00:52:41,325 --> 00:52:43,459
             - Aah!             
             - Ohh!             

1094
00:52:43,461 --> 00:52:45,060
        Come on, Miles,         
        punk-ass bitch!         

1095
00:52:45,062 --> 00:52:47,129
       Nothing gets past!       

1096
00:52:47,131 --> 00:52:48,831
              Oh!               

1097
00:52:48,833 --> 00:52:51,967
        That's why he's         
    the motherfucking best!     

1098
00:52:51,969 --> 00:52:54,603
       Shut the fuck up!        
      I'm just warming up!      

1099
00:52:56,974 --> 00:52:59,542
              Ohh!              

1100
00:52:59,544 --> 00:53:02,211
     Bee-yotch! You scared?     
     Do you wanna get past?     

1101
00:53:02,213 --> 00:53:03,946
              Ohh!              

1102
00:53:03,948 --> 00:53:05,648
           Ah, shit!            

1103
00:53:05,650 --> 00:53:09,585
 Now watch the magic, bitches.  

1104
00:53:09,587 --> 00:53:11,954
             - Ohh!             
      - It's good though.       

1105
00:53:11,956 --> 00:53:14,123
 Just follow through, brother.  
      Just follow through.      

1106
00:53:14,125 --> 00:53:17,493
   Shut up! It's all part of    
    my strategy, dumb-asses.    

1107
00:53:17,495 --> 00:53:19,061
         - Watch this!          
        - Miles! Miles!         

1108
00:53:19,063 --> 00:53:20,162
           Go ahead.            

1109
00:53:20,164 --> 00:53:22,198
      Here come the pain!       

1110
00:53:23,234 --> 00:53:24,667
              Ohh!              

1111
00:53:26,304 --> 00:53:27,970
     All right, I got this.     

1112
00:53:27,972 --> 00:53:29,939
I'm just warmin' up here anyway.
            Come on!            

1113
00:53:29,941 --> 00:53:33,342
      I'm a stenchy bitch.      
 Nothing gets past me. Nothing! 

1114
00:53:33,344 --> 00:53:34,810
       This is what I do!       

1115
00:53:36,013 --> 00:53:38,147
              Ohh!              

1116
00:53:38,149 --> 00:53:39,582
           Thataboy!            

1117
00:53:39,584 --> 00:53:42,384
       Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!        

1118
00:53:42,386 --> 00:53:44,220
         Yeah! We done?         

1119
00:53:44,222 --> 00:53:47,489
        Oh, that's cool.        
   I just forgot to warm up.    

1120
00:53:47,491 --> 00:53:49,191
    If I was playing on ice     
        with my skates,         

1121
00:53:49,193 --> 00:53:50,392
     I would've rocked it.      

1122
00:53:50,394 --> 00:53:51,927
           Thank you.           

1123
00:53:51,929 --> 00:53:54,230
     Can I get a beer now?      
 Can we finally start drinking? 

1124
00:53:54,232 --> 00:53:57,433
      I'll be right back.       
     Gotta go take a leak.      

1125
00:53:57,435 --> 00:54:00,369
            [grunts]            

1126
00:54:00,371 --> 00:54:03,772
           [whistles]           

1127
00:54:08,846 --> 00:54:10,346
           Ah, yeah.            

1128
00:54:10,348 --> 00:54:14,450
   ¶ Sweet smell of victory ¶   

1129
00:54:14,452 --> 00:54:20,189
           [humming]            

1130
00:54:20,191 --> 00:54:22,791
            [crying]            

1131
00:54:32,536 --> 00:54:34,737
         So what's up?          

1132
00:54:37,275 --> 00:54:38,841
            [sighs]             

1133
00:54:43,547 --> 00:54:45,814
         You all right?         

1134
00:54:45,816 --> 00:54:49,418
    I've been thinking about    
    what you've been sayin'.    

1135
00:54:49,420 --> 00:54:51,487
       And the truth is,        

1136
00:54:51,489 --> 00:54:58,227
 the idea of spending the rest  
   of my life with one woman    

1137
00:54:58,229 --> 00:55:00,729
     fuckin' terrifies me.      

1138
00:55:03,334 --> 00:55:06,368
        You have no idea        
   how long I've been waiting   

1139
00:55:06,370 --> 00:55:08,737
     to hear you say this.      

1140
00:55:08,739 --> 00:55:12,608
          Look, Irene,          
    she's a great girl, man.    

1141
00:55:12,610 --> 00:55:14,843
         But marriage,          
        hey, this is...         

1142
00:55:14,845 --> 00:55:16,712
      Maybe you just need       
   to slow down a little bit.   

1143
00:55:16,714 --> 00:55:18,547
      The problem is, bro,      
    the wedding's tomorrow.     

1144
00:55:18,549 --> 00:55:20,549
      It's not like I can       
       just call it off.        

1145
00:55:20,551 --> 00:55:22,351
         I'd go down as         
      the biggest asshole       

1146
00:55:22,353 --> 00:55:23,819
  in the history of assholes.   

1147
00:55:23,821 --> 00:55:27,056
      It's never too late.      
     It is never too late.      

1148
00:55:27,058 --> 00:55:31,860
 Sean, you and I have been best 
friends since the fourth grade. 

1149
00:55:31,862 --> 00:55:34,963
        We've always had        
      each other's backs,       

1150
00:55:34,965 --> 00:55:37,700
    and we have each other's    
        backs right now.        

1151
00:55:37,702 --> 00:55:41,904
       If you don't wanna       
    go through with this...     

1152
00:55:41,906 --> 00:55:44,106
    I'll pay for everything.    

1153
00:55:44,108 --> 00:55:46,775
     I will take the heat.      

1154
00:55:50,715 --> 00:55:53,048
      You don't even know       
   what you wanna do, do you?   

1155
00:55:53,050 --> 00:55:55,684
         Because you've         
       lost perspective.        

1156
00:55:55,686 --> 00:55:59,221
      That is exactly why       
       it is so important       

1157
00:55:59,223 --> 00:56:02,591
     that you have a taste      
     the good life tonight      

1158
00:56:02,593 --> 00:56:05,627
    to get your senses back.    

1159
00:56:09,467 --> 00:56:11,767
           [exhales]            

1160
00:56:12,770 --> 00:56:15,070
         What time does         
       Epiphany get here?       

1161
00:56:15,072 --> 00:56:16,972
              Yes!              

1162
00:56:16,974 --> 00:56:18,507
            [laughs]            

1163
00:56:18,509 --> 00:56:20,476
     All right. All right.      

1164
00:56:20,478 --> 00:56:23,178
         - I love you!          
           - [laughs]           

1165
00:56:25,182 --> 00:56:26,315
           [exhales]            

1166
00:56:29,286 --> 00:56:31,987
       Pull it together,        
       pull it together.        

1167
00:56:31,989 --> 00:56:34,323
           [exhales]            
           It's okay.           

1168
00:56:34,325 --> 00:56:38,360
    You're still number one.    
   You're still the Gus-man.    

1169
00:56:38,362 --> 00:56:40,696
              Oh!               
            [grunts]            

1170
00:56:41,732 --> 00:56:43,132
        Hey, good game.         

1171
00:56:43,134 --> 00:56:45,734
     Yeah, man, good game,      
     good game, great game.     

1172
00:56:45,736 --> 00:56:47,269
          - Hey, Gus.           
            - Yeah.             

1173
00:56:47,271 --> 00:56:49,271
  Do you remember junior year,  

1174
00:56:49,273 --> 00:56:51,473
 the big game against Riverdale 
  High when I missed the goal   

1175
00:56:51,475 --> 00:56:53,909
    - and we lost that game?    
            - Yeah.             

1176
00:56:53,911 --> 00:56:56,078
      Do you remember what      
  I asked you after the game?   

1177
00:56:56,080 --> 00:56:57,312
              No.               

1178
00:56:57,314 --> 00:56:59,415
   I asked you if you thought   
      I had what it takes.      

1179
00:56:59,417 --> 00:57:02,017
  Do you remember your answer?  

1180
00:57:02,019 --> 00:57:04,186
              No.               

1181
00:57:04,188 --> 00:57:07,790
Well, you asked me if I thought 
      I had what it takes.      

1182
00:57:07,792 --> 00:57:09,625
        And I said yeah.        
         Then you said,         

1183
00:57:09,627 --> 00:57:12,494
  "Then it doesn't matter what  
 the hell anybody else thinks." 

1184
00:57:12,496 --> 00:57:14,596
          I said that?          

1185
00:57:14,598 --> 00:57:16,265
      Hell yeah, you did.       

1186
00:57:17,401 --> 00:57:19,001
              Gus.              

1187
00:57:19,003 --> 00:57:21,770
   I never forgot that, ever.   

1188
00:57:21,772 --> 00:57:25,340
     And I hope you didn't      
       forget it either.        

1189
00:57:25,342 --> 00:57:28,110
    I mean, you're a coach.     

1190
00:57:28,112 --> 00:57:29,978
            A coach!            

1191
00:57:29,980 --> 00:57:33,816
   Just think about how much    
  Coach Modesto influenced us.  

1192
00:57:33,818 --> 00:57:36,585
  You're doing the same thing   
        for these kids.         

1193
00:57:36,587 --> 00:57:39,354
         That is a lot          
      to be proud of, man.      

1194
00:57:39,356 --> 00:57:41,223
          [Gus scoffs]          

1195
00:57:41,225 --> 00:57:42,758
         You're right.          
           Thank you.           

1196
00:57:42,760 --> 00:57:44,426
           - You bet.           
          - Thank you.          

1197
00:57:44,428 --> 00:57:46,728
    Let's grab a beer, man.     
I wanna hear all about the team.

1198
00:57:46,730 --> 00:57:48,163
          - All right.          
          - All right.          

1199
00:57:48,165 --> 00:57:50,032
        Basically, I got        
   a really good team, right?   

1200
00:57:50,034 --> 00:57:52,835
But the teams today, they gotta 
 be the laziest sons of bitches 

1201
00:57:52,837 --> 00:57:54,403
       - who ever lived!        
       - Yeah, they are.        

1202
00:57:54,405 --> 00:57:56,405
     GUS: They really are.      

1203
00:57:56,407 --> 00:57:59,107
  <i> Part of my plan was for Sean</i> 
   <i> to get fucked up tonight.</i>   

1204
00:57:59,109 --> 00:58:01,376
    <i> I wanted him to have the</i>   
  <i> kind of fun we used to have.</i> 

1205
00:58:01,378 --> 00:58:03,212
        <i> I don't want him</i>       
        <i> to get too drunk</i>       

1206
00:58:03,214 --> 00:58:04,947
       <i> 'cause if he does,</i>      
     <i> he'll be so hungover,</i>     

1207
00:58:04,949 --> 00:58:06,682
    <i> he'll be happy to leave</i>    
       <i> this life behind.</i>       

1208
00:58:06,684 --> 00:58:08,383
       <i> Plus I paid a mint</i>      
         <i> for Epiphany,</i>         

1209
00:58:08,385 --> 00:58:10,752
    <i> and he's gonna enjoy it</i>    
    <i> if it fuckin' kills me.</i>    

1210
00:58:10,754 --> 00:58:14,156
        I ain't seen him        
        this happy, man.        

1211
00:58:14,158 --> 00:58:16,391
       I just hope Irene        
      ride like Butterfly.      

1212
00:58:16,393 --> 00:58:19,661
      <i> I just have to know</i>      
     <i> when to take his MFD,</i>     

1213
00:58:19,663 --> 00:58:21,563
    <i> his motherfuckin' drink.</i>   

1214
00:58:21,565 --> 00:58:25,267
        I have to get me        
         another MFD...         

1215
00:58:27,505 --> 00:58:29,304
    <i> Not that I was checking,</i>   

1216
00:58:29,306 --> 00:58:31,440
 <i> but Kayla's social media page</i> 
   <i> said that she was leaving</i>   

1217
00:58:31,442 --> 00:58:35,878
   <i> for Chicago tomorrow night</i>  
       <i> to accept the job.</i>      

1218
00:58:35,880 --> 00:58:40,082
   <i> I guess it is what it is.</i>   

1219
00:58:45,523 --> 00:58:47,890
       What? What? What?        

1220
00:58:49,360 --> 00:58:52,528
     I appreciate you being     
       my best man, bro.        

1221
00:58:52,530 --> 00:58:54,396
 Where are you going with this? 

1222
00:58:54,398 --> 00:58:58,901
         I'm saying...          
       I appreciate you.        

1223
00:58:58,903 --> 00:59:01,403
      I gotta take a shit.      

1224
00:59:07,411 --> 00:59:09,978
  I just wish we were closer.   

1225
00:59:17,521 --> 00:59:19,154
      Between me and you,       

1226
00:59:19,156 --> 00:59:20,689
     it's been pretty tight     
 since my assistant coach left. 

1227
00:59:20,691 --> 00:59:22,357
     We're already losing.      

1228
00:59:22,359 --> 00:59:24,359
  Now we're the biggest losers  
         in the state.          

1229
00:59:24,361 --> 00:59:26,094
  It's so fuckin' magnanimous.  

1230
00:59:26,096 --> 00:59:27,863
       And the principal        
   just told me the other day   

1231
00:59:27,865 --> 00:59:30,933
if I don't turn this shit around
now, they're gonna fire my ass. 

1232
00:59:30,935 --> 00:59:32,568
      Coaching is my life.      

1233
00:59:32,570 --> 00:59:36,238
  If I lose that gig, I might   
  just lose my reason to live.  

1234
00:59:36,240 --> 00:59:37,973
       I know I act like        
      everything's great,       

1235
00:59:37,975 --> 00:59:41,076
         but I'm really         
        struggling, man.        

1236
00:59:41,078 --> 00:59:43,512
     Bro, I feel you, man.      

1237
00:59:43,514 --> 00:59:45,314
      I'm struggling, too.      

1238
00:59:45,316 --> 00:59:47,149
        You struggling?         
         Come on, man.          

1239
00:59:47,151 --> 00:59:49,084
     I was just hating when     
     I said all that stuff      

1240
00:59:49,086 --> 00:59:51,320
 about you losing your skills.  
    You still got it, okay?     

1241
00:59:51,322 --> 00:59:53,555
           Be proud.            

1242
00:59:53,557 --> 00:59:54,790
       I appreciate that.       

1243
00:59:54,792 --> 00:59:57,192
        It's the truth.         

1244
00:59:57,194 --> 01:00:00,662
   But I know I can't keep up   
     with these young boys.     

1245
01:00:00,664 --> 01:00:02,531
       I'm not trying to.       
           I just...            

1246
01:00:02,533 --> 01:00:05,867
   I don't know what the hell   
    I'm gonna do with myself    

1247
01:00:05,869 --> 01:00:07,903
        after I retire.         

1248
01:00:07,905 --> 01:00:09,605
   I don't have any hobbies.    

1249
01:00:09,607 --> 01:00:11,773
        I don't wanna be        
         a sportscaster         

1250
01:00:11,775 --> 01:00:16,311
          or an actor           
     or anything like that.     

1251
01:00:18,482 --> 01:00:21,316
  I mean, between you and me,   

1252
01:00:21,318 --> 01:00:25,454
        it's all got me         
      a little depressed.       

1253
01:00:25,456 --> 01:00:27,689
     Actually, it's, uh...      

1254
01:00:27,691 --> 01:00:30,592
  it's got me a lot depressed.  

1255
01:00:30,594 --> 01:00:33,261
            [sighs]             
    I'm seeing a therapist.     

1256
01:00:36,133 --> 01:00:37,899
        It's really hard        
    keeping a positive face     

1257
01:00:37,901 --> 01:00:40,002
    for my wife and family,     
           you know?            

1258
01:00:42,206 --> 01:00:45,574
          I don't know          
       what I'm gonna do.       

1259
01:00:45,576 --> 01:00:47,409
           God damn!            

1260
01:00:47,411 --> 01:00:51,446
   I guess shit really ain't    
   greener on the other side.   

1261
01:00:51,448 --> 01:00:53,382
    I mean, I'm just saying     
        I'm sorry, bro.         

1262
01:00:53,384 --> 01:00:55,117
        Don't sweat it.         
    I'm sure you'll find it.    

1263
01:00:55,119 --> 01:00:56,852
    It's gotta be something     
     right under your nose.     

1264
01:00:56,854 --> 01:00:58,854
 I mean, you'll find something. 

1265
01:00:58,856 --> 01:01:00,622
      I wish I could have       
      a real pro like you       

1266
01:01:00,624 --> 01:01:02,157
   to be my assistant coach.    

1267
01:01:02,159 --> 01:01:04,326
    That bitch-ass principal    
won't talk about firing me then.

1268
01:01:04,328 --> 01:01:07,062
   Plus I'd have somebody on    
my team who understands the game

1269
01:01:07,064 --> 01:01:09,564
   damn near as well as I do.   

1270
01:01:09,566 --> 01:01:10,999
          I'll do it.           

1271
01:01:12,569 --> 01:01:15,604
            Nah, I--            
        Are you serious?        

1272
01:01:15,606 --> 01:01:18,974
 Serious as an ice fight, man.  
       Yeah, I'll do it.        

1273
01:01:18,976 --> 01:01:21,376
           Hell yeah!           

1274
01:01:21,378 --> 01:01:22,744
            Oh, man!            

1275
01:01:22,746 --> 01:01:25,547
     Let's go do some shots     
  or something. Come on! Yes!   

1276
01:01:29,720 --> 01:01:31,053
          You're cool?          

1277
01:01:35,726 --> 01:01:37,059
              Ah.               

1278
01:01:41,298 --> 01:01:42,097
           I'm cool.            

1279
01:01:42,099 --> 01:01:44,066
     Good. Then stay cool.      

1280
01:01:49,606 --> 01:01:51,640
      Here, come on, okay.      

1281
01:01:51,642 --> 01:01:52,841
           Incoming!            

1282
01:01:52,843 --> 01:01:55,077
            [laughs]            

1283
01:01:55,079 --> 01:01:57,045
         Oh, you havin'         
       a good time, Stan?       

1284
01:01:57,047 --> 01:01:59,414
       I want you to have       
       a good time, Stan.       

1285
01:01:59,416 --> 01:02:03,151
  You know, you haven't smiled  
   since we were kids, Stan.    

1286
01:02:03,153 --> 01:02:05,287
    Come on, stop with that     
       affectionate shit.       

1287
01:02:05,289 --> 01:02:07,189
          - Seriously.          
         - What? What?          

1288
01:02:07,191 --> 01:02:12,427
   Brothers should be able to   
share affection with each other.

1289
01:02:12,429 --> 01:02:16,231
      Yeah, save that shit      
        for your bitch.         

1290
01:02:16,233 --> 01:02:18,567
     What did you just say?     

1291
01:02:18,569 --> 01:02:22,170
     I said save that shit      
        for your bitch.         

1292
01:02:30,214 --> 01:02:32,147
   Don't call Irene a bitch.    

1293
01:02:35,285 --> 01:02:36,852
           Fuck you.            

1294
01:02:36,854 --> 01:02:41,289
  If I wanna call her a bitch,  
     I'll call her a bitch.     

1295
01:02:41,291 --> 01:02:44,459
     You know, I am so sick     
      of your negativity.       

1296
01:02:44,461 --> 01:02:48,430
          What are you          
       gonna do about it?       

1297
01:02:52,803 --> 01:02:54,636
             Bitch.             

1298
01:02:57,908 --> 01:02:59,341
          - You fuck!           
           - Oh! Oh!            

1299
01:02:59,343 --> 01:03:01,343
           [screams]            
         It's a fight!          

1300
01:03:01,345 --> 01:03:02,511
           [yelling]            

1301
01:03:02,513 --> 01:03:05,046
          Hey, guys--           

1302
01:03:05,048 --> 01:03:06,381
     Oh! Look what you did!     

1303
01:03:06,383 --> 01:03:07,282
          Whoa, whoa!           

1304
01:03:07,284 --> 01:03:09,751
  Hey, guys, look what he did!  

1305
01:03:09,753 --> 01:03:10,952
           [screams]            

1306
01:03:12,890 --> 01:03:15,824
          Shit! Shit!           

1307
01:03:15,826 --> 01:03:17,125
           [groaning]           

1308
01:03:17,127 --> 01:03:19,161
          Shit! Fuck!           

1309
01:03:19,163 --> 01:03:21,863
       You two should be        
     ashamed of yourselves.     

1310
01:03:21,865 --> 01:03:23,098
        You're brothers!        

1311
01:03:23,100 --> 01:03:24,366
   I can't feel my left side.   

1312
01:03:24,368 --> 01:03:26,134
        Sean started it!        
        It's his fault!         

1313
01:03:26,136 --> 01:03:29,671
   And I'm sure you gave him    
    a very good damn reason.    

1314
01:03:29,673 --> 01:03:34,442
  You are one very unhappy and  
 bitter motherfucker, Stanley.  

1315
01:03:34,444 --> 01:03:37,345
      And that's something      
     you have to work out!      

1316
01:03:37,347 --> 01:03:39,447
      But despite it all,       
       your brother here        

1317
01:03:39,449 --> 01:03:43,185
    is one of the very last     
    creatures on this planet    

1318
01:03:43,187 --> 01:03:44,452
         who loves you.         

1319
01:03:44,454 --> 01:03:45,821
        He really does.         

1320
01:03:45,823 --> 01:03:50,659
   And I think it's high time   
      you recognized that.      

1321
01:03:50,661 --> 01:03:52,627
        [doorbell rings]        

1322
01:03:52,629 --> 01:03:54,629
        Fucking Ulysses!        

1323
01:04:04,107 --> 01:04:06,341
     You must be Epiphany.      

1324
01:04:08,178 --> 01:04:12,480
          Yes, ma'am,           
   I will send him right in.    

1325
01:04:12,482 --> 01:04:14,482
      Just wanna say also       
       that it's an honor       

1326
01:04:14,484 --> 01:04:17,385
      to actually meet you      
           in person.           

1327
01:04:17,387 --> 01:04:19,721
            Finally.            

1328
01:04:19,723 --> 01:04:22,224
     Heard a lot about you.     

1329
01:04:32,569 --> 01:04:33,768
             Whew.              

1330
01:04:36,039 --> 01:04:38,306
          My friend...          

1331
01:04:38,308 --> 01:04:40,475
   it's the moment of truth.    

1332
01:04:40,477 --> 01:04:44,212
    You're a grown-ass man.     
  I can't tell you what to do.  

1333
01:04:44,214 --> 01:04:48,316
  But here's your opportunity   
      to prove to yourself      

1334
01:04:48,318 --> 01:04:51,686
      some of the old Sean      
        is still in you.        

1335
01:04:53,090 --> 01:04:55,290
       I'm proud of you.        

1336
01:05:08,605 --> 01:05:09,638
            [sighs]             

1337
01:05:20,851 --> 01:05:22,417
            I can't.            

1338
01:05:23,520 --> 01:05:24,653
             What?              

1339
01:05:26,690 --> 01:05:28,757
         I can't do it.         

1340
01:05:29,993 --> 01:05:31,927
      AARON: What are you       
         talking about?         

1341
01:05:31,929 --> 01:05:34,663
    I can't do it to Irene.     

1342
01:05:34,665 --> 01:05:36,298
             Sean.              

1343
01:05:36,300 --> 01:05:38,400
        What do you mean        
        you can't do it?        

1344
01:05:38,402 --> 01:05:41,836
    Dude, you said you were     
   gonna go all out tonight.    

1345
01:05:41,838 --> 01:05:43,438
            Come on!            

1346
01:05:45,509 --> 01:05:47,909
   Do you realize what you're   
    about to do to yourself?    

1347
01:05:47,911 --> 01:05:49,344
     Get your ass in there!     

1348
01:05:49,346 --> 01:05:50,578
          - Hey, hey!           
- If you don't go in that room--

1349
01:05:50,580 --> 01:05:52,647
        Get the fuck off        
     my brother, all right?     

1350
01:05:52,649 --> 01:05:55,483
   If he don't wanna cheat on   
   Irene, he doesn't have to.   

1351
01:05:55,485 --> 01:05:59,387
    And none of you guys are    
   gonna make him feel guilty   

1352
01:05:59,389 --> 01:06:01,756
      about that decision.      

1353
01:06:03,193 --> 01:06:04,659
         Come on, bro.          

1354
01:06:05,796 --> 01:06:07,329
      I'll take you home.       

1355
01:06:07,331 --> 01:06:09,631
    Irene's waiting on you.     

1356
01:06:10,500 --> 01:06:13,702
   What the fuck is going on?   

1357
01:06:13,704 --> 01:06:16,638
        Are you serious?        

1358
01:06:16,640 --> 01:06:17,639
             Sorry.             

1359
01:06:17,641 --> 01:06:21,242
GUS: Be a lot cooler if you did!
            [laughs]            

1360
01:06:21,244 --> 01:06:23,912
  Hey, bro, hold on a second.   

1361
01:06:23,914 --> 01:06:27,649
      Look, man, I'm sorry      
I yelled at you and grabbed you,

1362
01:06:27,651 --> 01:06:30,785
but I'm sure you can understand 
    where it's coming from.     

1363
01:06:30,787 --> 01:06:33,321
        I'm just trying         
      to protect you, man.      

1364
01:06:33,323 --> 01:06:35,523
         I'm doing this         
       for your own good.       

1365
01:06:41,631 --> 01:06:42,764
          Party sucks.          

1366
01:06:44,167 --> 01:06:46,434
     Hello, Miss Epiphany.      

1367
01:06:46,436 --> 01:06:49,771
         It's an honor          
     on behalf of everyone.     

1368
01:06:49,773 --> 01:06:53,375
   I would like to apologize    
         for the delay.         

1369
01:06:53,377 --> 01:06:56,277
  And I wanted to let you know  
     that I will personally     

1370
01:06:56,279 --> 01:07:00,348
        pay any penalty         

1371
01:07:00,350 --> 01:07:03,284
     or inconvenience made.     

1372
01:07:05,088 --> 01:07:08,757
          ¶¶ [chorale]          

1373
01:07:14,097 --> 01:07:15,864
          Look, Aaron.          

1374
01:07:17,968 --> 01:07:20,335
    I'm in love with Irene.     

1375
01:07:20,337 --> 01:07:22,237
       I wanna marry her.       

1376
01:07:22,239 --> 01:07:23,705
     I wanna spend the rest     
      of my life with her.      

1377
01:07:23,707 --> 01:07:26,474
          I know that           
      sounds crazy to you,      

1378
01:07:26,476 --> 01:07:28,676
    but she makes me happy.     

1379
01:07:30,414 --> 01:07:32,947
      I hope you can find       
    that kind of love, too.     

1380
01:07:38,355 --> 01:07:39,654
      See you later, yeah?      

1381
01:08:08,919 --> 01:08:11,953
       I'm gonna go home,       
     make love to my wife.      

1382
01:08:21,064 --> 01:08:22,564
             Damn.              

1383
01:08:24,000 --> 01:08:25,934
         What'd I miss?         

1384
01:08:39,316 --> 01:08:41,382
        I failed, Floyd.        

1385
01:08:41,384 --> 01:08:45,887
    Thought I could stop it,    
        but I couldn't.         

1386
01:08:45,889 --> 01:08:47,856
   All this was for nothing.    

1387
01:08:49,893 --> 01:08:52,760
   For nothing? For nothing?    

1388
01:08:52,762 --> 01:08:57,298
   I put my life on the line    
          for nothing?          

1389
01:08:57,300 --> 01:09:00,568
   You're sitting over there    
  feeling sorry for yourself.   

1390
01:09:00,570 --> 01:09:04,706
I'm over here, I'm contemplating
       my own mortality.        

1391
01:09:04,708 --> 01:09:08,209
      Do you have any idea      
   what's gonna happen to me    

1392
01:09:08,211 --> 01:09:09,811
      when Joy comes home?      

1393
01:09:09,813 --> 01:09:11,513
            Do you?             

1394
01:09:11,515 --> 01:09:14,782
     I'm over here mourning     
   the loss of a best friend.   

1395
01:09:14,784 --> 01:09:17,418
       You're over there        
       spooked by a woman       

1396
01:09:17,420 --> 01:09:19,787
     who's a hundred miles      
     away from here, Floyd!     

1397
01:09:19,789 --> 01:09:23,858
We have plenty of time to clean 
   this goddamn fuckin' shit!   

1398
01:09:23,860 --> 01:09:27,428
      Calm the fuck down!       
        God damn! Fuck!         

1399
01:09:29,966 --> 01:09:32,600
         What the hell?         

1400
01:09:34,304 --> 01:09:35,503
            Oh, no.             

1401
01:09:36,406 --> 01:09:40,341
      Oh, hey, Joy. Uh...       

1402
01:09:40,343 --> 01:09:43,378
    We weren't expecting you    
         home so soon.          

1403
01:09:43,380 --> 01:09:45,914
     It's good to see you!      

1404
01:09:45,916 --> 01:09:49,918
     And just so you know,      
 none of this was Floyd's idea. 

1405
01:09:49,920 --> 01:09:51,486
        This was all me.        

1406
01:09:51,488 --> 01:09:54,322
   I will pay for everything.   

1407
01:09:56,259 --> 01:09:58,259
             Floyd!             

1408
01:09:58,261 --> 01:10:01,829
             Floyd!             

1409
01:10:01,831 --> 01:10:03,464
             Floyd!             

1410
01:10:03,466 --> 01:10:07,335
      Calm the fuck down.       

1411
01:10:11,942 --> 01:10:14,042
    What did you say to me?     

1412
01:10:16,846 --> 01:10:18,012
         You heard me.          

1413
01:10:18,014 --> 01:10:23,718
   I said calm the fuck down.   

1414
01:10:23,720 --> 01:10:28,289
  It's time I remind you I am   
 the man of this goddamn house! 

1415
01:10:28,291 --> 01:10:32,427
         Okay? So you,          
    you can go to your room,    

1416
01:10:32,429 --> 01:10:35,430
   you can unpack your shit,    
        and you can wait        

1417
01:10:35,432 --> 01:10:38,933
         while I finish         
        with my friend.         

1418
01:10:38,935 --> 01:10:41,703
       Then... I'll come.       

1419
01:10:41,705 --> 01:10:46,341
        And we can have         
        a sensible talk.        

1420
01:10:49,212 --> 01:10:51,446
        Do it now, Joy!         

1421
01:10:52,249 --> 01:10:54,549
          Okay. Floyd.          

1422
01:10:54,551 --> 01:10:57,919
 But when you come talk to me,  
           be ready.            

1423
01:11:01,625 --> 01:11:03,191
         <i> To be honest,</i>         

1424
01:11:03,193 --> 01:11:05,860
 <i> I think Joy is gonna literally</i>
      <i> beat Floyd to death.</i>     

1425
01:11:05,862 --> 01:11:07,562
   <i> But that's not important.</i>   

1426
01:11:07,564 --> 01:11:09,497
  <i> When Floyd stood up to Joy,</i>  

1427
01:11:09,499 --> 01:11:12,634
  <i> he faced his greatest fear.</i>  

1428
01:11:12,636 --> 01:11:16,104
       <i> And how many of us</i>      
         <i> can say that?</i>         

1429
01:11:21,511 --> 01:11:23,244
     AARON: Sure you don't      
          want a lift?          

1430
01:11:23,246 --> 01:11:24,712
   No, thanks, I'll make it.    

1431
01:11:26,683 --> 01:11:29,817
  So did your production last   
 night go the way you planned?  

1432
01:11:29,819 --> 01:11:33,755
       No, Uncle Ulysses,       
      I can't say it did.       

1433
01:11:33,757 --> 01:11:36,924
      Well, son, every man      
   has to walk his own path.    

1434
01:11:36,926 --> 01:11:40,028
I don't think Sean really knows 
what he's getting himself into. 

1435
01:11:40,030 --> 01:11:42,830
     I'm sure you know what     
   I'm talking about, right?    

1436
01:11:42,832 --> 01:11:46,134
  Seems like you and I are the  
 last soldiers still standing.  

1437
01:11:46,136 --> 01:11:48,369
     And thank God for guys     
    like you, Uncle Ulysses.    

1438
01:11:48,371 --> 01:11:52,040
You're a real inspiration to me.
     You never compromise.      

1439
01:11:52,042 --> 01:11:53,975
   You always live your life    
       on your own terms.       

1440
01:11:53,977 --> 01:11:55,777
      I mean, 2,500 women?      

1441
01:11:55,779 --> 01:11:59,113
        That sounds like        
       a good life to me.       

1442
01:11:59,115 --> 01:12:01,716
      Well, life is meant       
       to be experienced.       

1443
01:12:01,718 --> 01:12:03,718
  I've done a lot of partying,  

1444
01:12:03,720 --> 01:12:06,087
      lot of women-chasing      
           in my day.           

1445
01:12:06,089 --> 01:12:07,422
         Yes, you have.         

1446
01:12:07,424 --> 01:12:08,856
         But sometimes,         
     at the end of the day      

1447
01:12:08,858 --> 01:12:11,859
         when I'm just          
  sitting there with a drink,   

1448
01:12:11,861 --> 01:12:15,330
   I keep thinking about all    
 the good women I let get away. 

1449
01:12:15,332 --> 01:12:18,433
   Seems as though, no matter   
     how much partying I do     

1450
01:12:18,435 --> 01:12:20,601
        or fucking I do,        

1451
01:12:20,603 --> 01:12:24,339
      I just can't escape       
       the truth of life.       

1452
01:12:24,341 --> 01:12:28,042
  I guess that's why I always   
     keep it here with me.      

1453
01:12:30,980 --> 01:12:34,148
    Matter of fact, I think     
  it's time I show it to you.   

1454
01:12:35,352 --> 01:12:36,584
     Oh, no, Uncle Ulysses.     

1455
01:12:36,586 --> 01:12:38,119
          - Look, I--           
           - No, no!            

1456
01:12:38,121 --> 01:12:39,954
   I don't need to see that.    
        I really don't.         

1457
01:12:39,956 --> 01:12:42,990
  - No, you need to see this.   
        - I don't need--        

1458
01:12:49,165 --> 01:12:50,631
           Holy shit.           

1459
01:12:51,701 --> 01:12:53,601
         Well, I guess          
       I should be going.       

1460
01:12:53,603 --> 01:12:56,504
        See you tonight         
        at the wedding.         

1461
01:13:31,408 --> 01:13:33,441
    Irene, do you take Sean     

1462
01:13:33,443 --> 01:13:35,543
      to be your lawfully       
        wedded husband,         

1463
01:13:35,545 --> 01:13:38,413
      to have and to hold,      
    to love and to cherish,     

1464
01:13:38,415 --> 01:13:40,481
    for richer, for poorer,     

1465
01:13:40,483 --> 01:13:42,784
      as long as you both       
          shall live?           

1466
01:13:42,786 --> 01:13:44,352
     <i> It's really happening.</i>    

1467
01:13:44,354 --> 01:13:47,889
     <i> And I'm standing here</i>     
      <i> watching it happen.</i>      

1468
01:13:47,891 --> 01:13:50,491
       <i> Sean knows exactly</i>      
    <i> what he's getting into,</i>    

1469
01:13:50,493 --> 01:13:53,327
   <i> but he still looks happy.</i>   

1470
01:13:53,329 --> 01:13:55,296
      <i> How can he be happy?</i>     

1471
01:13:55,298 --> 01:13:57,331
      <i> Suddenly, the faces</i>      
        <i> of all the women</i>       

1472
01:13:57,333 --> 01:13:58,666
         <i> I've been with</i>        
      <i> throughout the years</i>     

1473
01:13:58,668 --> 01:14:00,835
    <i> flashed before my eyes.</i>    

1474
01:14:02,105 --> 01:14:04,071
             <i> Damn.</i>             

1475
01:14:04,073 --> 01:14:07,041
     <i> I can't even remember</i>     
      <i> most of their names.</i>     

1476
01:14:10,346 --> 01:14:14,615
       <i> I used to be happy</i>      
    <i> with a variety of women.</i>   

1477
01:14:14,617 --> 01:14:16,584
           <i> But now...</i>          

1478
01:14:17,554 --> 01:14:19,821
  <i> even that's getting boring.</i>  

1479
01:14:22,192 --> 01:14:24,358
     <i> I used to be so happy</i>     
          <i> in the club.</i>         

1480
01:14:24,360 --> 01:14:26,394
    <i> Thought if I wasn't out</i>    
  <i> partying and meeting women,</i>  

1481
01:14:26,396 --> 01:14:28,296
    <i> I was missing something.</i>   

1482
01:14:28,298 --> 01:14:30,565
        <i> Now I realize...</i>       

1483
01:14:30,567 --> 01:14:32,934
     <i> I ain't missing shit.</i>     

1484
01:14:34,037 --> 01:14:35,369
            <i> Besides,</i>           

1485
01:14:35,371 --> 01:14:38,840
      <i> do I really wanna be</i>     
    <i> the old man in the club?</i>   

1486
01:14:41,344 --> 01:14:44,312
        You need to stop        
        being so afraid.        

1487
01:14:49,419 --> 01:14:51,519
      <i> What am I afraid of?</i>     

1488
01:14:51,521 --> 01:14:55,656
   <i> After all the theories and</i>  
  <i> legends about the suitcase,</i>  

1489
01:14:55,658 --> 01:14:58,259
         <i> it was empty.</i>         

1490
01:14:58,261 --> 01:14:59,460
             <i> Empty?</i>            

1491
01:14:59,462 --> 01:15:01,329
         <i> What the fuck?</i>        

1492
01:15:02,499 --> 01:15:06,567
               ¶¶               

1493
01:15:11,441 --> 01:15:13,741
      <i> What am I afraid of?</i>     

1494
01:15:22,519 --> 01:15:24,886
      <i> What am I afraid of?</i>     

1495
01:15:31,961 --> 01:15:34,762
         What the fuck          
        am I afraid of?!        

1496
01:15:34,764 --> 01:15:37,598
          [murmuring]           

1497
01:15:40,270 --> 01:15:41,269
             Sorry.             

1498
01:15:41,271 --> 01:15:43,170
             Sorry.             

1499
01:15:49,812 --> 01:15:52,046
  And, Sean, do you take Irene  

1500
01:15:52,048 --> 01:15:54,815
      to be your lawfully       
          wedded wife,          

1501
01:15:54,817 --> 01:15:57,785
      to have and to hold,      
     to love and to cherish     

1502
01:15:57,787 --> 01:15:59,520
    for richer, for poorer,     

1503
01:15:59,522 --> 01:16:01,689
      as long as you both       
          shall live?           

1504
01:16:03,059 --> 01:16:04,825
             I do.              

1505
01:16:04,827 --> 01:16:07,328
       Then by the power        
      vested in me by God       

1506
01:16:07,330 --> 01:16:09,830
  and the state of California,  

1507
01:16:09,832 --> 01:16:12,667
      I now pronounce you       
         man and wife.          

1508
01:16:12,669 --> 01:16:15,336
    You may kiss your bride.    

1509
01:16:18,007 --> 01:16:22,243
       ¶¶ [Wedding March]       

1510
01:16:33,690 --> 01:16:35,289
           Oh, shit.            

1511
01:16:36,225 --> 01:16:38,526
          No worries.           
        I'll tell Sean.         

1512
01:16:38,528 --> 01:16:40,394
       You better hurry.        

1513
01:16:49,739 --> 01:16:51,238
             Fuck!              

1514
01:16:54,444 --> 01:16:55,710
             Fuck!              

1515
01:17:28,711 --> 01:17:30,711
        [engine starts]         

1516
01:17:37,620 --> 01:17:38,886
             Kayla!             

1517
01:17:40,423 --> 01:17:42,056
             Aaron?             

1518
01:17:43,526 --> 01:17:45,059
          Oh, my God!           
         Are you okay?          

1519
01:17:46,029 --> 01:17:48,629
   What-- What are you doing?   

1520
01:17:48,631 --> 01:17:50,598
     Oh! You're still here!     

1521
01:17:50,600 --> 01:17:52,833
            [pants]             
      I'm okay, I'm okay.       

1522
01:17:52,835 --> 01:17:56,303
         I just needed          
     to tell you something.     

1523
01:17:56,305 --> 01:17:59,373
   If you leave, I will slit    
 my wrist with a butter knife.  

1524
01:17:59,375 --> 01:18:01,409
      I will drown myself       
          in a puddle.          

1525
01:18:01,411 --> 01:18:04,612
I will throw myself in front of 
  a speeding yellow school bus  

1526
01:18:04,614 --> 01:18:06,681
     full of bad-ass kids.      

1527
01:18:06,683 --> 01:18:08,282
            [sighs]             

1528
01:18:08,284 --> 01:18:11,318
         Just don't go.         

1529
01:18:12,822 --> 01:18:15,790
        Aaron, I really         
   appreciate you coming here   

1530
01:18:15,792 --> 01:18:19,193
        and getting hit         
       by a car and all.        

1531
01:18:19,195 --> 01:18:22,163
         I've had to do         
      some thinking, too.       

1532
01:18:22,165 --> 01:18:24,165
 Now I'm the one who's afraid.  

1533
01:18:24,167 --> 01:18:27,368
     I've got a few things      
         to figure out.         

1534
01:18:29,972 --> 01:18:32,206
    Like you said, maybe...     

1535
01:18:32,208 --> 01:18:35,209
       Maybe a change is        
       just what I need.        

1536
01:18:36,646 --> 01:18:39,080
       Please don't think       
       I won't miss you.        

1537
01:18:43,753 --> 01:18:45,820
          I love you.           

1538
01:18:48,991 --> 01:18:51,292
    I love you, too, Aaron.     

1539
01:18:52,295 --> 01:18:54,195
          I really do.          

1540
01:19:05,641 --> 01:19:07,374
            Goodbye.            

1541
01:19:13,216 --> 01:19:15,282
        [engine starts]         

1542
01:19:27,964 --> 01:19:30,965
     <i> Well, I guess this is</i>     
    <i> how it all ends for me.</i>    

1543
01:19:30,967 --> 01:19:32,399
          <i> It's funny.</i>          

1544
01:19:32,401 --> 01:19:35,803
         <i> You never know</i>        
    <i> how life will turn out.</i>    

1545
01:19:35,805 --> 01:19:39,406
       <i> Sean is officially</i>      
         <i> a married man.</i>        

1546
01:19:39,408 --> 01:19:43,377
     <i> As crazy as it sounds,</i>    
 <i> I've never seen him so happy.</i> 

1547
01:19:43,379 --> 01:19:47,815
    <i> I can't help but wonder</i>    
 <i> what the other guys are up to.</i>

1548
01:19:53,322 --> 01:19:58,559
  <i> I hope they're all out there</i> 
  <i> doing what makes them happy.</i> 

1549
01:19:58,561 --> 01:20:02,163
         <i> Or being with</i>         
   <i> whoever makes them happy.</i>   

1550
01:20:04,400 --> 01:20:08,068
 <i> 'Cause at the end of the day,</i> 

1551
01:20:08,070 --> 01:20:11,138
  <i> it's all about being happy.</i>  

1552
01:20:14,477 --> 01:20:18,412
 <i> Hell, I bet even Floyd and Joy</i>
     <i> found their happiness.</i>    

1553
01:20:25,721 --> 01:20:28,255
       <i> But what about me?</i>      

1554
01:20:28,257 --> 01:20:29,757
     <i> I'm not totally sure,</i>     

1555
01:20:29,759 --> 01:20:33,127
          <i> but I think</i>          
  <i> the empty suitcase means...</i>  

1556
01:20:33,129 --> 01:20:36,163
  <i> life is empty without love.</i>  

1557
01:20:37,500 --> 01:20:41,135
        <i> At least I think</i>       
     <i> that's what it means.</i>     

1558
01:20:42,972 --> 01:20:44,572
    <i> It's like I always say,</i>    

1559
01:20:44,574 --> 01:20:46,640
        <i> if you wanna be</i>        
     <i> successful with women,</i>    

1560
01:20:46,642 --> 01:20:48,943
   <i> you have to overcome fear.</i>  

1561
01:20:48,945 --> 01:20:51,645
         <i> Fear of love,</i>         
      <i> fear of commitment,</i>      

1562
01:20:51,647 --> 01:20:53,380
       <i> fear of yourself.</i>       

1563
01:20:53,382 --> 01:20:55,216
           <i> Whatever.</i>           

1564
01:20:55,218 --> 01:20:57,451
      <i> You can't be afraid.</i>     

1565
01:20:59,155 --> 01:21:01,288
     <i> Wanna know something?</i>     

1566
01:21:03,626 --> 01:21:06,093
    <i> I'm not afraid anymore.</i>    

1567
01:21:16,806 --> 01:21:19,974
               ¶¶               

