1
00:00:20,729 --> 00:00:24,729
<i>Ii</i>

2
00:00:35,869 --> 00:00:40,329
<i>♪ now, I'm walking
down the street...</i>

3
00:00:53,845 --> 00:00:54,505
- Hey, dad.

4
00:00:54,638 --> 00:00:58,598
- Man,
eff this wanna be holiday.

5
00:00:58,725 --> 00:01:00,095
- What?!
The fourth of July?

6
00:01:00,227 --> 00:01:01,727
You hate the fourth of July?
- Yes.

7
00:01:01,853 --> 00:01:03,813
- It's America's birthday.
You don't like birthdays?

8
00:01:03,939 --> 00:01:06,479
- After the bottle rocket
smoke clears,

9
00:01:06,608 --> 00:01:07,818
day after tomorrow,

10
00:01:07,943 --> 00:01:10,823
all these mouth-breathers
are gonna be in my store

11
00:01:10,946 --> 00:01:12,606
buying half-off
Christmas ornaments.

12
00:01:12,739 --> 00:01:14,989
You know it
and I know it.

13
00:01:15,117 --> 00:01:17,327
- I don't know if I know it.
- I don't know.

14
00:01:17,452 --> 00:01:18,542
What are you looking at?

15
00:01:18,662 --> 00:01:20,662
Oh. Wow.

16
00:01:20,789 --> 00:01:23,329
Fifty shades of hey.

17
00:01:23,458 --> 00:01:25,498
Go talk to him.

18
00:01:25,627 --> 00:01:27,877
- No. He's...
He's busy.

19
00:01:28,005 --> 00:01:30,545
- He should be
gettin' busy with you.

20
00:01:30,674 --> 00:01:32,634
I can't go over there.

21
00:01:32,759 --> 00:01:35,719
What if he-
what if he slaps me?

22
00:01:35,846 --> 00:01:37,256
- What?
What if-?

23
00:01:37,389 --> 00:01:39,679
What if instead of writing the
declaration of independence,

24
00:01:39,808 --> 00:01:41,808
George Washington wrote
the declaration of

25
00:01:41,935 --> 00:01:45,015
"suffering in silence
with your raging ladyboner?"

26
00:01:45,147 --> 00:01:47,357
- Okay.
- What if instead of freeing the slaves,

27
00:01:47,482 --> 00:01:49,902
Abraham Lincoln said
"ye shall not pass!"

28
00:01:50,027 --> 00:01:51,237
- Okay, well that's Gandalf,

29
00:01:51,361 --> 00:01:53,451
but I know where
you're going.

30
00:01:53,572 --> 00:01:54,322
- Go talk to him.

31
00:01:54,448 --> 00:01:55,368
- I can't go over
to that guy,

32
00:01:55,490 --> 00:01:57,990
he's like an angel that's
come down from outer space.

33
00:01:58,118 --> 00:02:00,368
- Yeah,
so ask him to probe you.

34
00:02:00,495 --> 00:02:02,575
I can't- I can't do it.

35
00:02:02,706 --> 00:02:05,536
- Yes you can, and look,
mister pretty's off the phone.

36
00:02:05,667 --> 00:02:08,337
Come on.
Do it.

37
00:02:08,462 --> 00:02:09,172
- How many of those
have you had?

38
00:02:09,296 --> 00:02:11,166
You seem drunk.
- I'm drunk.

39
00:02:11,298 --> 00:02:11,838
Deb.

40
00:02:11,965 --> 00:02:13,125
I haven't had dinner.

41
00:02:13,258 --> 00:02:15,218
Deb.Deb.Deb.Deb!

42
00:02:15,344 --> 00:02:19,014
Deb!Deb!Deb!Deb!Deb!

43
00:02:19,139 --> 00:02:20,389
- Okay.
- Deb. Deb.

44
00:02:20,515 --> 00:02:21,465
- Here goes nothing!

45
00:02:21,600 --> 00:02:22,230
- Do it.

46
00:02:22,351 --> 00:02:24,981
Deb.Deb.Deb.Deb-

47
00:02:25,103 --> 00:02:27,113
- oh, sorry.
- Deb. Deb. Deb.

48
00:02:27,230 --> 00:02:30,730
Do it.
Now. Go.

49
00:02:30,859 --> 00:02:32,989
See ya.

50
00:02:34,196 --> 00:02:35,816
Oh, fuck me.

51
00:02:58,762 --> 00:03:01,142
Ugh.

52
00:03:10,023 --> 00:03:11,903
Oh.

53
00:03:19,866 --> 00:03:22,616
What the...?

54
00:03:23,537 --> 00:03:25,407
<i>I dunno.</i>

55
00:03:25,539 --> 00:03:28,579
<i>I noticed she had red hair,
and that's about it.</i>

56
00:03:28,709 --> 00:03:31,459
<i>Stacy and I had a fight,
then this... person</i>

57
00:03:31,586 --> 00:03:35,376
<i>and I started drinking
and talking...</i>

58
00:03:35,507 --> 00:03:36,877
<i>And drinking...</i>

59
00:03:37,008 --> 00:03:39,588
<i>And the rest
is kind of a blur.</i>

60
00:03:39,720 --> 00:03:41,720
<i>No, now she's here.
She's still here. Yeah.</i>

61
00:03:41,847 --> 00:03:45,017
<i>And I don't know how
to get rid of her.</i>

62
00:03:46,852 --> 00:03:49,312
<i>No, I can't force her out.</i>

63
00:03:51,565 --> 00:03:53,475
<i>I'm not gonna pull
the fire alarm.</i>

64
00:03:55,193 --> 00:03:56,113
- White Russian
and a whiskey neat.

65
00:03:56,236 --> 00:03:59,026
- Thanks, Billy.
- Oh... my gosh.

66
00:03:59,156 --> 00:04:01,316
You know my drink?
Whoa.

67
00:04:01,450 --> 00:04:05,910
Well, here's to the long,
straight piece in Tetris.

68
00:04:06,037 --> 00:04:08,117
Clink!

69
00:04:08,248 --> 00:04:09,578
- So, uh...

70
00:04:09,708 --> 00:04:11,208
<i>- I'm upset, too, frank.</i>

71
00:04:11,334 --> 00:04:13,884
- What are you doing
in this gin joint?

72
00:04:14,004 --> 00:04:16,214
- <i>Let me talk some
sense into him.</i>

73
00:04:16,339 --> 00:04:17,419
Uh-huh.

74
00:04:17,549 --> 00:04:20,219
He looks drunk and
ready to explain himself.

75
00:04:20,343 --> 00:04:21,343
Yeah.
We'll get back to you.

76
00:04:21,470 --> 00:04:22,600
Okay.

77
00:04:22,721 --> 00:04:24,761
Ryan, that was your dad.

78
00:04:24,890 --> 00:04:25,720
Please explain to me

79
00:04:25,849 --> 00:04:27,349
why you told him to take
that job and shove it?

80
00:04:27,476 --> 00:04:29,266
- No, I never said-
- he says you did.

81
00:04:29,394 --> 00:04:31,314
- I told him that I'd
thought long and hard

82
00:04:31,438 --> 00:04:32,558
but I had to turn him down.

83
00:04:32,689 --> 00:04:34,189
I was gonna tell you tonight.

84
00:04:34,316 --> 00:04:36,226
- I am your fiancé, alright?

85
00:04:36,359 --> 00:04:39,609
You tell me before you make any
stupid decisions and-

86
00:04:39,738 --> 00:04:43,198
what exactly can
we do for you, fraggle?

87
00:04:43,325 --> 00:04:45,075
- I'm sorry. I-

88
00:04:45,202 --> 00:04:46,752
this gentleman
bought me a drink,

89
00:04:46,870 --> 00:04:48,080
and we were having
a conversation-

90
00:04:48,205 --> 00:04:49,995
- are you drinking
his white Russian?

91
00:04:50,123 --> 00:04:52,423
I told you that was
a girl's drink.

92
00:04:52,542 --> 00:04:54,592
- This is your drink?

93
00:04:54,711 --> 00:04:56,501
- Well, it was.

94
00:04:56,630 --> 00:04:58,840
- I'm sorry.
I drink them, too.

95
00:04:58,965 --> 00:05:01,085
I just thought you were
being amazingly intuitive.

96
00:05:01,218 --> 00:05:02,338
- Oh,
good for you sweetie,

97
00:05:02,469 --> 00:05:04,099
why don't you just take it
with our compliments?

98
00:05:04,221 --> 00:05:05,221
Alright?

99
00:05:05,347 --> 00:05:05,847
Billy!

100
00:05:05,972 --> 00:05:07,392
Another Russian
and bird over here.

101
00:05:07,516 --> 00:05:08,136
- <i>Coming up!</i>

102
00:05:08,266 --> 00:05:10,636
- Ryan, you need to
call your dad right now.

103
00:05:10,769 --> 00:05:11,769
You can still get this job-

104
00:05:11,895 --> 00:05:13,935
- Stacy, I'm not working
for my father's company.

105
00:05:14,064 --> 00:05:15,984
- We had this
all figured out.

106
00:05:16,107 --> 00:05:17,357
You and i
are gonna get married,

107
00:05:17,484 --> 00:05:19,864
your dad is gonna get old,
we're gonna take over.

108
00:05:19,986 --> 00:05:20,776
What is going on with you?

109
00:05:20,904 --> 00:05:22,864
Are you still into this
"helping people" thing?

110
00:05:22,989 --> 00:05:24,619
- I am done talking about this.
Okay?

111
00:05:24,741 --> 00:05:26,951
Like she said, we were
having a conversation?

112
00:05:27,077 --> 00:05:28,037
- Really?

113
00:05:28,161 --> 00:05:29,501
What's her name then?

114
00:05:29,621 --> 00:05:31,251
- Estelle.
- Deborah.

115
00:05:31,373 --> 00:05:34,213
- What?!
You- you know my name?

116
00:05:34,334 --> 00:05:34,924
- No, I...

117
00:05:35,043 --> 00:05:37,383
You looked like a Deborah,
so obviously I was wrong.

118
00:05:37,504 --> 00:05:39,174
- No,
my name is Deborah.

119
00:05:39,297 --> 00:05:40,457
You were right!

120
00:05:40,590 --> 00:05:41,340
I just said estelle

121
00:05:41,466 --> 00:05:43,086
because I wanted to get
you out of the doghouse.

122
00:05:43,218 --> 00:05:44,928
- How would that
have helped me?

123
00:05:45,053 --> 00:05:46,053
- You know what?

124
00:05:46,179 --> 00:05:48,009
You two enjoy each other.

125
00:05:48,139 --> 00:05:50,309
Happy independence day,
because we're through.

126
00:05:50,433 --> 00:05:51,683
- Stacy, this doesn't
have to mean-

127
00:05:51,810 --> 00:05:53,060
- yes, it does, Ryan!

128
00:05:53,186 --> 00:05:55,436
This is a package deal.

129
00:05:55,564 --> 00:05:59,404
So you can say
goodbye to these.

130
00:06:01,736 --> 00:06:04,486
- Trixie and mayberry.

131
00:06:05,365 --> 00:06:07,445
I love those cats.
- You'll see them again.

132
00:06:07,576 --> 00:06:09,906
She seems like a...

133
00:06:10,036 --> 00:06:12,656
Sweet girl.

134
00:06:13,957 --> 00:06:16,877
- <i>Kev, come on, focus.
Help me.</i>

135
00:06:17,002 --> 00:06:18,462
That is a solid move.

136
00:06:18,587 --> 00:06:20,957
No, man, I'm not gonna-
yeah, but that's your move.

137
00:06:21,089 --> 00:06:23,839
- So?
- Not everyone can pull that off!

138
00:06:23,967 --> 00:06:26,217
Kev, you're breaking up
or something.

139
00:06:26,344 --> 00:06:28,514
Go back to-

140
00:06:28,638 --> 00:06:29,598
kev, are you there?
- Ryan-

141
00:06:43,528 --> 00:06:45,278
excuse me?

142
00:06:45,405 --> 00:06:49,905
- Mmm, morning.

143
00:06:51,244 --> 00:06:52,704
I slept in, didn't I?

144
00:06:52,829 --> 00:06:55,119
- Yeah, you sure did.

145
00:06:55,248 --> 00:06:57,078
- So, what's on the agend'?

146
00:06:57,208 --> 00:06:57,828
Brunch?

147
00:06:57,959 --> 00:06:58,999
- Ah, no.

148
00:06:59,127 --> 00:07:00,917
- Ooh.
A black-coffee man.

149
00:07:01,046 --> 00:07:02,206
I like it.

150
00:07:02,339 --> 00:07:05,379
"L'm John Wayne,
i don't need no breakfast."

151
00:07:05,508 --> 00:07:09,258
- I actually already had my coffee but-
- oh.

152
00:07:09,387 --> 00:07:10,927
- Anyway, it's the 4th,

153
00:07:11,056 --> 00:07:14,056
so I'm gonna go spend
some time with my family.

154
00:07:14,184 --> 00:07:16,144
And maybe you
should too, right?

155
00:07:16,269 --> 00:07:19,609
- Oh my gosh!
I must look terrible but,

156
00:07:19,731 --> 00:07:22,361
so soon but I guess
i can meet your family-

157
00:07:22,484 --> 00:07:26,284
- no. No, I actually meant your family.
- Oh.

158
00:07:26,404 --> 00:07:29,164
- But either way,
i have to go right now, so-

159
00:07:29,282 --> 00:07:30,492
- okay, well just...

160
00:07:30,617 --> 00:07:33,997
Do what you gotta do,
Mr. Magoo.

161
00:07:34,120 --> 00:07:38,620
I've got a book
and I'll just stay here.

162
00:07:38,750 --> 00:07:39,960
I'll see you in a
couple of hours.

163
00:07:40,085 --> 00:07:42,835
- Oh, um...
Hey, uh, look,

164
00:07:42,963 --> 00:07:45,633
I don't exactly remember
what happened last night but-

165
00:07:45,757 --> 00:07:46,507
- oh.
Well, a-

166
00:07:46,633 --> 00:07:49,643
do you want the slow-motion
instant replay?

167
00:07:49,761 --> 00:07:50,431
- Oh, great.

168
00:07:50,553 --> 00:07:52,563
Okay, hey, that's a-
- oh, no.

169
00:07:52,681 --> 00:07:54,971
- That was a family heirloom.
But, uh...

170
00:07:55,100 --> 00:07:56,100
You know what?
Don't worry about it.

171
00:07:56,226 --> 00:07:58,436
Please, uh- please.

172
00:07:58,561 --> 00:08:02,361
- Okay, well...
As you wish.

173
00:08:02,482 --> 00:08:04,282
- Um...
Well, look,

174
00:08:04,401 --> 00:08:08,571
I think we can agree
that this was a mistake.

175
00:08:08,822 --> 00:08:09,992
- Oh! Yeah.

176
00:08:10,115 --> 00:08:12,365
Of course!
A mistake. What?

177
00:08:12,492 --> 00:08:14,542
I'm glad you said it
before I said it

178
00:08:14,661 --> 00:08:16,701
because I was gonna say it.

179
00:08:16,830 --> 00:08:19,120
There's a load: Off.

180
00:08:19,249 --> 00:08:21,379
- Great. Okay.
So we can leave.

181
00:08:21,501 --> 00:08:23,131
Now.
- Now?

182
00:08:23,253 --> 00:08:27,753
Yes. Now.
"Now" is even too late for me.

183
00:08:27,882 --> 00:08:30,222
Like, I wish we could
go in a time machine

184
00:08:30,343 --> 00:08:32,353
and go back five minutes,
and leave then.

185
00:08:32,470 --> 00:08:33,600
- But we don't.
We don't have that

186
00:08:33,722 --> 00:08:35,102
so we just have to walk.

187
00:08:35,223 --> 00:08:36,893
So here we go. - Where's a
delorean when you need one, right?

188
00:08:37,017 --> 00:08:38,347
- Okay-

189
00:08:38,476 --> 00:08:41,346
- yep.
Hello, mcfly!

190
00:08:41,479 --> 00:08:42,899
Anybody home?

191
00:08:43,398 --> 00:08:46,648
- Okay, there you go.
- Much obliged.

192
00:08:47,861 --> 00:08:50,741
- So, you know, if we run
into each other around town

193
00:08:50,864 --> 00:08:52,374
it doesn't need to be weird,
you know?

194
00:08:52,490 --> 00:08:54,240
We can just say "hello"
or wave-

195
00:08:54,367 --> 00:08:56,867
- what a nice morning.

196
00:08:56,995 --> 00:08:58,075
It's...

197
00:08:58,204 --> 00:09:00,294
Holidays are so peaceful,
don't you think?

198
00:09:00,415 --> 00:09:03,075
- I guess I never really-
- "listen my children

199
00:09:03,209 --> 00:09:04,539
and you will hear

200
00:09:04,669 --> 00:09:07,129
of the midnight ride
of Paul revere

201
00:09:07,255 --> 00:09:09,215
a voice in the darkness,

202
00:09:09,340 --> 00:09:10,630
a knock at the door

203
00:09:10,759 --> 00:09:15,139
and a word that will echo
forever more."

204
00:09:15,847 --> 00:09:18,557
- Wow.
That was actually nice.

205
00:09:18,683 --> 00:09:20,433
- Thank you.
- Have a good one.

206
00:09:20,560 --> 00:09:22,940
- Oh.
That's longfellow.

207
00:09:23,063 --> 00:09:24,903
He's from here.
Portland, Maine.

208
00:09:25,023 --> 00:09:26,653
- Yeah,
i know where we live.

209
00:09:26,775 --> 00:09:31,235
- I used to recite it
for my mom every forth.

210
00:09:31,362 --> 00:09:33,412
She's in a better place now...

211
00:09:33,531 --> 00:09:35,241
- Oh, I'm sorry.

212
00:09:35,366 --> 00:09:36,776
- ...Virginia beach.

213
00:09:36,910 --> 00:09:39,250
They have a lot of activities
for seniors there.

214
00:09:39,370 --> 00:09:40,120
<i>L</i> try to go,

215
00:09:40,246 --> 00:09:43,366
but I'm so busy with work
at the TV station.

216
00:09:43,500 --> 00:09:47,000
Hence,
alone for the holiday.

217
00:09:47,128 --> 00:09:48,708
- Okay, well...

218
00:09:48,838 --> 00:09:49,708
God bless...

219
00:09:49,839 --> 00:09:51,799
America!

220
00:09:51,925 --> 00:09:54,675
- Hey, god bless you!

221
00:09:56,596 --> 00:09:58,886
Whoever you are.

222
00:10:06,856 --> 00:10:07,896
<i>- Deb, it's rubes.</i>

223
00:10:08,024 --> 00:10:09,484
<i>Call me as soon
as you drag yourself</i>

224
00:10:09,609 --> 00:10:13,399
<i>out of that fine man's bed,
you complete whore.</i>

225
00:10:13,530 --> 00:10:16,030
<i>Did you ever know
that you're my hero?</i>

226
00:10:16,157 --> 00:10:17,827
<i>Great, somebody's
coming in the store,</i>

227
00:10:17,951 --> 00:10:20,541
<i>and they look drunk
and I feel like ass today.</i>

228
00:10:20,662 --> 00:10:24,002
<i>Hey! You
break it, you buy it, bucko-</i>

229
00:10:24,124 --> 00:10:26,794
<i>shit!
Ahh-</i>

230
00:10:34,425 --> 00:10:36,715
- <i>happy holidays,
you've reached yule mart,</i>

231
00:10:36,845 --> 00:10:38,715
<i>we'll be open
July 4th until noon,</i>

232
00:10:38,847 --> 00:10:39,927
<i>and all day on the 5th.</i>

233
00:10:40,056 --> 00:10:42,926
<i>You'll love our frankincense
and myrrh-chandise!</i>

234
00:10:43,059 --> 00:10:44,849
<i>Weep)
Get it?</i>

235
00:10:44,978 --> 00:10:47,728
- Hi, I don't know if
i should be your hero...

236
00:10:47,856 --> 00:10:51,316
Homeboy didn't want to see
me again after last night.

237
00:10:51,442 --> 00:10:52,532
L guess
in the light of day,

238
00:10:52,652 --> 00:10:56,112
I seemed like some
sort of monster.

239
00:10:56,239 --> 00:10:58,659
Rubes, you gotta tell me
what happened last night,

240
00:10:58,783 --> 00:11:00,373
because I don't
remember bupkis.

241
00:11:00,493 --> 00:11:03,003
Was I some sort of jackhole or something?
- Why won't she leave?

242
00:11:03,121 --> 00:11:05,961
Hello?

243
00:11:09,752 --> 00:11:12,382
Piece a caca phone.

244
00:11:13,882 --> 00:11:15,262
Really?!

245
00:11:47,749 --> 00:11:50,129
- Hello?

246
00:11:52,420 --> 00:11:54,130
Joe?

247
00:11:55,757 --> 00:11:57,377
Anybody?

248
00:11:57,717 --> 00:11:59,507
<i>" Nm!</i>

249
00:12:00,678 --> 00:12:01,718
Don't make me!

250
00:12:02,972 --> 00:12:04,892
- The parade's really
gone downhill this year.

251
00:12:05,016 --> 00:12:07,386
Come on.

252
00:12:10,355 --> 00:12:12,015
- Alright, Joe,

253
00:12:12,148 --> 00:12:16,148
I got a large casco bay
blend here.

254
00:12:16,277 --> 00:12:17,857
Joe?

255
00:12:18,446 --> 00:12:20,106
Alright.

256
00:12:20,240 --> 00:12:21,910
Oh, hey man.

257
00:12:22,033 --> 00:12:24,953
There you are.
What's going on?

258
00:12:25,078 --> 00:12:27,458
Dude,
why are you eating a foot?

259
00:12:31,417 --> 00:12:33,167
- Joe!

260
00:12:33,419 --> 00:12:34,749
Joe!

261
00:12:36,256 --> 00:12:39,126
- Oh god! Ah!

262
00:12:39,550 --> 00:12:41,340
- Ah! Whoa!
Oh my god!

263
00:12:43,429 --> 00:12:46,309
What is happening!
This is horrible!

264
00:12:46,432 --> 00:12:48,892
- ( -

265
00:13:02,407 --> 00:13:04,327
sorry, Joe!

266
00:13:22,677 --> 00:13:25,177
- Come on. Come on.
Come on!

267
00:13:25,305 --> 00:13:27,095
- Wait, wait
my place, my place.

268
00:13:27,223 --> 00:13:28,433
- Okay-

269
00:13:28,558 --> 00:13:29,598
- what is this?

270
00:13:29,726 --> 00:13:30,886
- Well, I've never
seen one before

271
00:13:31,019 --> 00:13:34,479
but it seems sort of
like a zombie apocalypse.

272
00:13:34,647 --> 00:13:37,187
- Oh, you know, at least
they're not the sprinter type.

273
00:13:37,317 --> 00:13:39,647
They're more of the old-school,
cerebral palsy variety.

274
00:13:39,777 --> 00:13:41,447
- Hey, that's Manny,
from up the street, okay?

275
00:13:41,571 --> 00:13:43,361
He really does have cp.

276
00:13:43,489 --> 00:13:45,659
- Oh, well I'm sorry.
I was just trying to-

277
00:13:45,783 --> 00:13:47,793
- whoa.
- Whoa.

278
00:13:49,370 --> 00:13:51,120
- Okay, some of them run!

279
00:13:53,166 --> 00:13:55,376
- Oh, sorry.

280
00:13:56,169 --> 00:13:57,709
- So, what are we gonna do?!
- I don't know,

281
00:13:57,837 --> 00:13:58,997
I don't have a whole
lot of experience

282
00:13:59,130 --> 00:14:00,880
with this type of thing!

283
00:14:01,007 --> 00:14:02,837
- Why are you
taking off your shoes?

284
00:14:02,967 --> 00:14:05,007
- Because it's filthy outside!

285
00:14:05,136 --> 00:14:09,136
- Okay,
okay, calm down.

286
00:14:09,265 --> 00:14:11,515
Okay.
We need information.

287
00:14:11,642 --> 00:14:14,022
We need to figure out
if it's effecting everyone.

288
00:14:14,145 --> 00:14:17,475
Okay. TV.

289
00:14:17,899 --> 00:14:20,109
Okay.

290
00:14:20,360 --> 00:14:21,820
Where's CNN?
- I don't have it.

291
00:14:21,944 --> 00:14:23,704
I got rid of cable
a couple months ago.

292
00:14:23,821 --> 00:14:25,661
- Oh, that's cool. I have
some friends that did that

293
00:14:25,782 --> 00:14:27,702
and it sounded so liberating...

294
00:14:27,825 --> 00:14:29,865
But actually not
helpful right now!

295
00:14:29,994 --> 00:14:32,834
- I still get the local stuff.

296
00:14:33,623 --> 00:14:35,373
- <i>The annual
event drew famished foodies</i>

297
00:14:35,500 --> 00:14:36,830
<i>from bangor to brunswick</i>

298
00:14:36,959 --> 00:14:39,419
<i>to support the fire department's
annual pancake breakfast...</i>

299
00:14:39,545 --> 00:14:40,995
- Good!
It hasn't spread across town.

300
00:14:41,130 --> 00:14:43,630
- No, not necessarily.
This is yesterday's broadcast.

301
00:14:43,758 --> 00:14:44,628
- Which you know

302
00:14:44,759 --> 00:14:46,639
because you were
running the camera.

303
00:14:46,761 --> 00:14:47,971
- Are you being
weirdly sarcastic,

304
00:14:48,096 --> 00:14:48,966
or how do you know that?

305
00:14:49,097 --> 00:14:51,427
- You told me last night that
you work at the news station,

306
00:14:51,557 --> 00:14:53,977
now why would they
rerun a news broadcast?

307
00:14:54,102 --> 00:14:56,022
- That's what I don't
understand.

308
00:14:56,145 --> 00:14:57,855
Radio.
Do you have one?

309
00:14:57,980 --> 00:15:00,360
- <i>Area, and wait for help.
Repeat message 5-b.</i>

310
00:15:00,483 --> 00:15:02,743
- Couldn't we have taken the radio
out of the- - shh! This is is.

311
00:15:02,860 --> 00:15:05,200
- <i>Stay in your
homes with the doors locked.</i>

312
00:15:05,321 --> 00:15:07,701
<i>The governor has declared
a state of emergency</i>

313
00:15:07,824 --> 00:15:09,624
<i>and alerted
the national guard.</i>

314
00:15:09,742 --> 00:15:12,662
<i>Symptoms of the ailment
include: Slurred speech,</i>

315
00:15:12,787 --> 00:15:15,407
<i>wild movement,
an appetite for human flesh,</i>

316
00:15:15,540 --> 00:15:18,380
<i>and
both slow and fast walking.</i>

317
00:15:18,501 --> 00:15:20,001
<i>If loved ones
display these traits,</i>

318
00:15:20,128 --> 00:15:22,588
<i>isolate them in a secure area
and wait for help...</i>

319
00:15:22,713 --> 00:15:25,673
- "Loved ones."
I gotta call Stacy!

320
00:15:26,300 --> 00:15:30,800
- Wait.
You guys broke up, right?

321
00:15:32,598 --> 00:15:35,058
- I think I left my phone
at the coffee shop.

322
00:15:35,184 --> 00:15:36,984
- You went to a coffee shop?

323
00:15:37,103 --> 00:15:39,943
I thought that you
already had your coffee?

324
00:15:40,064 --> 00:15:41,154
That's very interesting.

325
00:15:41,274 --> 00:15:42,444
- Can I use yours?

326
00:15:42,567 --> 00:15:46,317
- Oh, boy, I think that i
should conserve battery power.

327
00:15:46,446 --> 00:15:47,446
- Please.

328
00:15:49,198 --> 00:15:51,528
Okay.
Make it snappy-

329
00:15:51,659 --> 00:15:52,199
- wait, seriously?

330
00:15:52,326 --> 00:15:53,486
This is what you use
to call people?

331
00:15:53,619 --> 00:15:55,199
- Okay, listen, if you don't
want to use it, please just-

332
00:15:55,329 --> 00:15:59,789
- no, no, no, it's fine.
It's just, uh...

333
00:15:59,917 --> 00:16:01,997
- You don't know her number.
- No. I-

334
00:16:02,128 --> 00:16:03,668
shh! Alright?
I'm trying to think.

335
00:16:03,796 --> 00:16:04,916
- The prospects for
your relationship

336
00:16:05,047 --> 00:16:06,337
are not looking good.

337
00:16:06,466 --> 00:16:08,006
- I always just use
speed dial, alright?

338
00:16:08,134 --> 00:16:09,014
Everybody does that.

339
00:16:09,135 --> 00:16:10,675
- Listen,
no one is judging you.

340
00:16:10,803 --> 00:16:12,603
I'm just saying that when
i care about someone

341
00:16:12,722 --> 00:16:14,182
I commit their phone
number to memory.

342
00:16:14,307 --> 00:16:15,767
Like my morn.

343
00:16:15,892 --> 00:16:20,152
Oh shark, my mom!
Gimme-gimme!

344
00:16:20,271 --> 00:16:21,271
Shh.

345
00:16:26,986 --> 00:16:27,816
<i>- Hello!</i>

346
00:16:27,945 --> 00:16:29,565
- Mom!
Are there zombies there?

347
00:16:29,697 --> 00:16:31,907
- <i>Gotcha!
You've reached my voicemail.</i>

348
00:16:32,033 --> 00:16:33,083
<i>Please leave a message.</i>

349
00:16:33,201 --> 00:16:34,831
- Jesus, morn,
i hate this gag.

350
00:16:34,952 --> 00:16:37,372
- <i>Just kidding,
it's actually me.</i>

351
00:16:37,497 --> 00:16:40,167
- Oh, uh...
Mom, are you really there?

352
00:16:40,291 --> 00:16:41,711
- <i>Well, of course,
little Ms. Magoo.</i>

353
00:16:41,834 --> 00:16:43,754
<i>Happy 4th of July!</i>

354
00:16:43,878 --> 00:16:46,458
- Have you been
outside yet today?

355
00:16:46,589 --> 00:16:48,509
- <i>Why, yes, I was just down
at the pick n' save.</i>

356
00:16:48,633 --> 00:16:50,263
- And are there people
eating each other's flesh?

357
00:16:50,384 --> 00:16:52,724
- <i>I'm in Virginia beach, honey,
not Florida.</i>

358
00:16:52,845 --> 00:16:54,095
- Mom!
Listen to me.

359
00:16:54,222 --> 00:16:55,972
The people here are
infected with something.

360
00:16:56,098 --> 00:16:59,768
I'm trying to get down there,
but if I don't make it...

361
00:16:59,894 --> 00:17:01,444
Take care of yourself.

362
00:17:01,562 --> 00:17:03,062
- <i>Deb?</i>
- I love you.

363
00:17:03,189 --> 00:17:04,399
<i>- Are you there?
- Ma'?</i>

364
00:17:04,524 --> 00:17:06,614
- Can you hear me?

365
00:17:06,734 --> 00:17:09,194
- <i>You still using that janky old pho-</i>
- <i>dammit.</i>

366
00:17:18,412 --> 00:17:19,962
Mm.

367
00:17:22,917 --> 00:17:23,627
- Okay-

368
00:17:23,751 --> 00:17:25,961
let's take stock
of what we have and-

369
00:17:26,087 --> 00:17:28,667
oh!

370
00:17:29,048 --> 00:17:30,128
Board up the windows?

371
00:17:30,258 --> 00:17:32,298
Way ahead of you, chief.
Pee corner's over there.

372
00:17:32,426 --> 00:17:34,636
- Hey, that end table
was a matching set!

373
00:17:34,762 --> 00:17:37,432
And we don't need a pee corner,
i have a bathr-

374
00:17:37,557 --> 00:17:38,807
you know what?
We're getting out of here.

375
00:17:47,942 --> 00:17:49,612
- Oh.
- Oh.

376
00:17:49,735 --> 00:17:50,685
- Alright,
they're drawn to the noise.

377
00:17:50,820 --> 00:17:52,240
We'll have to leave quietly.

378
00:17:52,363 --> 00:17:55,453
- But you heard the radio.
They said to hunker down

379
00:17:55,575 --> 00:17:58,945
and wait for the
national guard or whatever.

380
00:17:59,078 --> 00:18:01,158
And just some food for thought,
we might want to start bonding

381
00:18:01,289 --> 00:18:04,249
in case we have to
repopulate the world.

382
00:18:04,375 --> 00:18:05,875
Just thinking out loud here.

383
00:18:06,002 --> 00:18:07,502
- No.
Please don't, alright?

384
00:18:07,628 --> 00:18:10,208
Look, my fiance, brother,
and father are out there.

385
00:18:10,339 --> 00:18:11,169
They'll be expecting me.

386
00:18:11,299 --> 00:18:12,009
- Breaking news:

387
00:18:12,133 --> 00:18:14,643
People are kind of foregoing
their holiday plans right now.

388
00:18:14,760 --> 00:18:16,300
You'll be no help to them
if you get infected.

389
00:18:16,429 --> 00:18:17,259
- I'd rather take that risk

390
00:18:17,388 --> 00:18:19,768
than be without
the people I care about.

391
00:18:19,890 --> 00:18:22,020
- Okay, whatever you want.

392
00:18:22,143 --> 00:18:22,983
I'm staying put.

393
00:18:23,102 --> 00:18:25,402
- But... I need you.

394
00:18:26,647 --> 00:18:28,147
- You know, it's weird.

395
00:18:28,274 --> 00:18:30,484
I know that we've only
know each other a short time,

396
00:18:30,610 --> 00:18:32,490
but I kind of feel the same-
- you have a car.

397
00:18:32,612 --> 00:18:33,782
- Oh.

398
00:18:33,904 --> 00:18:36,534
What happened to yours, playa?
Ls it in the shop?

399
00:18:36,657 --> 00:18:38,947
- I don't have one.
I ride my bicycle everywhere.

400
00:18:39,076 --> 00:18:40,986
- Everywhere except
across town in the middle

401
00:18:41,120 --> 00:18:42,250
of a zombie apocalypse, huh?

402
00:18:42,371 --> 00:18:43,661
Is that your one exception?

403
00:18:43,789 --> 00:18:45,789
- Look,
help me collect my people,

404
00:18:45,916 --> 00:18:47,286
then we call all
leave town together

405
00:18:47,418 --> 00:18:50,128
and then you can get
to your mom in Virginia.

406
00:18:50,254 --> 00:18:53,384
- I can't stay mad at you.

407
00:18:53,924 --> 00:18:55,804
We're gonna need
some road snacks.

408
00:18:55,926 --> 00:18:58,296
Oh, I foolishly thought
that you kept food in here.

409
00:18:58,429 --> 00:19:00,179
- Hey, we can survive
on this stuff!

410
00:19:00,306 --> 00:19:02,676
- For an hour,
if we were rabbits.

411
00:19:02,808 --> 00:19:04,018
Why do you have coconut water?

412
00:19:04,143 --> 00:19:05,393
Is this Maine
or gilligan's island?

413
00:19:05,519 --> 00:19:06,809
- It's very hydrating.

414
00:19:08,439 --> 00:19:09,229
Once we get in that car,

415
00:19:09,357 --> 00:19:11,857
I'm not stopping
until we get to va.

416
00:19:11,984 --> 00:19:12,944
There's gotta be
someplace around here

417
00:19:13,069 --> 00:19:14,989
that we can get food.

418
00:19:15,279 --> 00:19:16,989
- I check in on Mrs. Jones,

419
00:19:17,114 --> 00:19:18,824
get her groceries
once in a while.

420
00:19:18,949 --> 00:19:21,989
- Aw, that's so sweet.

421
00:19:23,287 --> 00:19:25,997
- Oh, no.

422
00:19:27,041 --> 00:19:29,751
- Oh my god, is she...?

423
00:19:31,170 --> 00:19:32,670
So sad.

424
00:19:32,797 --> 00:19:36,007
To die alone on the 4th.

425
00:19:37,468 --> 00:19:39,178
"Shadows are trailing

426
00:19:39,303 --> 00:19:41,103
my heart is bewailing

427
00:19:41,222 --> 00:19:44,682
and tolling within
like a funeral bell."

428
00:19:44,809 --> 00:19:48,519
Rest in peace, Mrs. Jones.

429
00:19:50,648 --> 00:19:52,568
- What are you doing?

430
00:19:52,692 --> 00:19:54,282
- Oh, I was just reciting
some longfellow.

431
00:19:54,402 --> 00:19:56,242
I think it's nice to say a
few things before- - no, no,

432
00:19:56,362 --> 00:19:58,532
why did you open her eyes?

433
00:19:58,656 --> 00:20:00,026
- That's what you do
when someone dies?

434
00:20:00,157 --> 00:20:03,537
To let their soul
rise up to heaven.

435
00:20:03,661 --> 00:20:04,241
- What?

436
00:20:04,370 --> 00:20:06,540
No, no,
you close their eyes.

437
00:20:06,664 --> 00:20:09,924
- Uh... okay,
trust me on this one.

438
00:20:10,042 --> 00:20:11,712
- No.
Trust me, okay.

439
00:20:11,836 --> 00:20:13,126
Nobody does it that way.

440
00:20:13,254 --> 00:20:15,264
- Uh, you're gonna
feel pretty silly

441
00:20:15,381 --> 00:20:17,341
when the lnternet's back up.

442
00:20:17,466 --> 00:20:20,296
- Please. This was a
sweet old lady, alright?

443
00:20:20,428 --> 00:20:23,558
Don't be weird,
just leave her in peace.

444
00:20:23,681 --> 00:20:25,471
- Stop it!

445
00:20:25,599 --> 00:20:29,479
- Ooh, taking control.
Yeah, I dig it.

446
00:20:29,603 --> 00:20:31,523
But I gotta do right by her.

447
00:20:31,647 --> 00:20:33,397
Let your soul be free!

448
00:20:33,524 --> 00:20:36,444
- You're being ridiculous.
- No, you're being ridiculous.

449
00:20:36,569 --> 00:20:39,029
And let go of my wrist,
you're hurting me.

450
00:20:39,155 --> 00:20:40,355
- I'm not touching your-

451
00:20:40,489 --> 00:20:42,909
- whoa!
- Whoa! What is happening?!

452
00:20:44,910 --> 00:20:48,200
<i>A little help here, chief!
- I'm working on it!</i>

453
00:20:48,330 --> 00:20:49,710
Okay,
I'm sorry, Mrs. Jones.

454
00:20:49,832 --> 00:20:50,832
L'm really sorry
to do this to you-

455
00:20:50,958 --> 00:20:53,668
- forget the lamp,
Martha Stewart!

456
00:20:53,794 --> 00:20:56,254
- Okay. Okay!
Okay, jump away.

457
00:20:56,380 --> 00:20:59,670
Alright.
And... clear!

458
00:20:59,800 --> 00:21:00,930
- What are you doing?!

459
00:21:01,051 --> 00:21:02,011
- What?
Why isn't it working?

460
00:21:02,136 --> 00:21:03,176
Deb, do something!

461
00:21:03,304 --> 00:21:06,184
- But I don't know- - please
don't struggle, Mrs. Jones!

462
00:21:06,307 --> 00:21:08,727
- Oh, she's old.

463
00:21:16,317 --> 00:21:17,357
- Yeah!

464
00:21:17,485 --> 00:21:19,605
That was awesome.
- Yeah!

465
00:21:19,737 --> 00:21:21,407
- I mean, that was terrible,
actually,

466
00:21:21,530 --> 00:21:23,160
because she was my neighbor.

467
00:21:23,282 --> 00:21:25,202
But that's a-

468
00:21:25,326 --> 00:21:27,536
let's get the food.

469
00:21:32,041 --> 00:21:33,541
- These are the
crappiest snacks.

470
00:21:33,667 --> 00:21:35,707
Didn't this lady eat any solids?
- Shh.

471
00:21:40,299 --> 00:21:42,259
- Whoa.

472
00:21:42,384 --> 00:21:44,554
At least they're
three floors down.

473
00:21:45,805 --> 00:21:46,635
- Whoa!
- Oh! Oh!

474
00:21:46,764 --> 00:21:48,974
- Fire escape! Fire escape!
- Yeah, sure.

475
00:21:51,227 --> 00:21:54,017
<i>Ii</i>

476
00:21:55,105 --> 00:21:56,895
- wait!
Slow down.

477
00:21:57,024 --> 00:21:59,114
- What are you doing?
You should've left that stuff!

478
00:21:59,235 --> 00:22:01,855
- Sorry! Fine!
- No, no, no. D0n'tjust-

479
00:22:01,987 --> 00:22:02,567
- sorry.

480
00:22:03,906 --> 00:22:05,196
- Shit.

481
00:22:05,324 --> 00:22:08,544
- Great.
Now look what you made me do.

482
00:22:12,873 --> 00:22:15,833
- That's it.
We're toast.

483
00:22:15,960 --> 00:22:18,670
- Well, it's stupid
for both of us to die.

484
00:22:19,338 --> 00:22:20,588
I'm gonna get you a chance.

485
00:22:20,714 --> 00:22:22,724
- What are you talking about?
- Shh.

486
00:22:22,842 --> 00:22:25,972
Earn this.
Huh?

487
00:22:27,263 --> 00:22:28,563
Okay.

488
00:22:29,014 --> 00:22:32,274
When the moment is right,
you grab your bike and go!

489
00:22:32,393 --> 00:22:34,403
Who wants a piece of this?!

490
00:22:37,356 --> 00:22:40,606
Whoa!
Whoa, ho, ho, ho!

491
00:22:40,734 --> 00:22:41,904
Whoo!

492
00:22:42,027 --> 00:22:43,487
Whoo-hoo!

493
00:22:43,612 --> 00:22:45,162
Ride-'em-zombies!

494
00:22:47,825 --> 00:22:49,535
Why are you hitting yourself?
Why are you hitting yourself?

495
00:22:49,660 --> 00:22:51,660
Why are you hitting yourself?

496
00:22:51,787 --> 00:22:54,207
Come on, you guys.
I'm right here.

497
00:22:54,331 --> 00:22:56,211
Come on, you guys.
Get over here.

498
00:22:56,333 --> 00:22:59,043
Come on, you guys.
I'm just right here.

499
00:22:59,169 --> 00:23:00,749
Fresh meat!
- Hey!

500
00:23:07,887 --> 00:23:09,677
- Whoa!

501
00:23:10,639 --> 00:23:13,219
That was awesome!
You were awesome!

502
00:23:13,350 --> 00:23:15,390
I feel so alive!

503
00:23:15,519 --> 00:23:17,519
- Tell me you have your keys.
- Yes!

504
00:23:22,401 --> 00:23:24,241
Whoo!

505
00:23:25,779 --> 00:23:29,869
You saved me, Ryan!
You effing saved me!

506
00:23:29,992 --> 00:23:32,912
I think we can be
pretty sure you like me.

507
00:23:33,037 --> 00:23:35,657
- Good god,
do you live in here?

508
00:23:35,789 --> 00:23:37,669
- No-

509
00:23:38,876 --> 00:23:40,206
not any more.

510
00:23:40,336 --> 00:23:41,916
- Maybe there's something
more about this on the radio.

511
00:23:42,046 --> 00:23:44,756
- "Don't you ever
touch a black man's radio!"

512
00:23:44,882 --> 00:23:47,472
It's Chris Tucker,
"rush hour."

513
00:23:47,593 --> 00:23:49,933
Radio's busted.
Tape player works, though.

514
00:23:50,054 --> 00:23:54,104
- Oh, well,
that's completely useless.

515
00:23:54,224 --> 00:23:56,064
- Ten points!
- Ahh! Ahh!

516
00:23:56,185 --> 00:23:58,015
Wha-what are you doing?!

517
00:23:58,145 --> 00:24:00,805
- I know.
Low hanging fruit, right?

518
00:24:01,065 --> 00:24:03,275
- Ahh! No. No.
Stop that.

519
00:24:03,400 --> 00:24:04,530
- Don't worry about it.

520
00:24:04,652 --> 00:24:06,862
This is like swatting
mosquitoes for little ol' Otis.

521
00:24:06,987 --> 00:24:09,277
- No. No. You can't just
murder the zombies.

522
00:24:09,406 --> 00:24:10,446
These are people.

523
00:24:10,574 --> 00:24:12,874
- Um...
Maybe they were once.

524
00:24:12,993 --> 00:24:13,953
- No.
For all we know,

525
00:24:14,078 --> 00:24:15,948
some chemist could be
working on a cure right now.

526
00:24:16,080 --> 00:24:17,080
They could all be
turned normal again.

527
00:24:17,206 --> 00:24:18,666
- Sure and maybe we
can all hold hands

528
00:24:18,791 --> 00:24:20,001
and skip to yum-yum town,

529
00:24:20,125 --> 00:24:22,665
where rainbows shoot out
the butts of unicorns.

530
00:24:22,795 --> 00:24:24,795
- I'm serious.

531
00:24:24,922 --> 00:24:26,972
- Ryan,
even if you're right,

532
00:24:27,091 --> 00:24:28,471
would they really
want to come back?

533
00:24:28,592 --> 00:24:29,882
I mean, how would
you deal with the fact

534
00:24:30,010 --> 00:24:32,010
that you just ate your
roommate's lower intestine?

535
00:24:33,472 --> 00:24:35,642
Okay. Okay.
I wasn't looking on that one.

536
00:24:35,766 --> 00:24:38,226
- Please, Deb.

537
00:24:41,897 --> 00:24:44,607
- Enjoy your life, zombies.

538
00:24:49,697 --> 00:24:51,117
- I always knew
this town was dead

539
00:24:51,240 --> 00:24:52,570
but this is ridiculous.

540
00:24:52,700 --> 00:24:54,620
Ra-cha-cha-cha.

541
00:24:54,743 --> 00:24:56,703
- How many miles
does this boat get?

542
00:24:56,829 --> 00:24:58,789
- You're gonna bust
on my car now?

543
00:24:58,914 --> 00:25:00,834
- No, no,
i was just thinking about...

544
00:25:00,958 --> 00:25:02,828
When we need to
fill up the gas again.

545
00:25:02,960 --> 00:25:04,290
- No, no,
i hear it in your voice.

546
00:25:04,420 --> 00:25:06,840
Otis is offensive.
Otis is unclean.

547
00:25:06,964 --> 00:25:09,514
- Do you know, like,
what the emissions from this car

548
00:25:09,633 --> 00:25:10,933
actually do to the environment?

549
00:25:11,051 --> 00:25:12,641
- I'm sorry, I must've
missed that page

550
00:25:12,761 --> 00:25:15,971
in "Ryan's guide to being a
completely perfect humanoid."

551
00:25:16,098 --> 00:25:17,718
- No, no,
it's not about being perfect.

552
00:25:17,850 --> 00:25:20,020
Clean energy is just
the right thing to do.

553
00:25:20,144 --> 00:25:22,154
- Energy is messy, okay?

554
00:25:22,271 --> 00:25:24,311
I mean, it's really cute
to eat organic millet

555
00:25:24,440 --> 00:25:27,150
and drive around in a hovercraft
or whatever,

556
00:25:27,276 --> 00:25:29,276
but look around you, dude.

557
00:25:29,403 --> 00:25:30,323
We lost.

558
00:25:30,446 --> 00:25:33,406
We tried to save the planet,
and this is where it got us.

559
00:25:33,532 --> 00:25:35,332
- God, you sound
just like my dad.

560
00:25:35,451 --> 00:25:37,491
- Really?
The guy sounds awesome.

561
00:25:37,619 --> 00:25:39,159
What, are you adopted?

562
00:25:39,288 --> 00:25:41,498
- Nice one.
That's actually the family joke.

563
00:25:41,623 --> 00:25:44,503
My brother makes it all the time.

564
00:25:44,626 --> 00:25:46,126
It's a good one.

565
00:25:46,253 --> 00:25:47,003
Look, I'm sorry.

566
00:25:47,129 --> 00:25:51,299
My family is not a
hallmark card either.

567
00:25:52,676 --> 00:25:54,466
I remember every 4th,

568
00:25:54,595 --> 00:25:56,135
my dad would bring us
all up to the roof

569
00:25:56,263 --> 00:25:59,023
to watch the fireworks
over the eastern prom.

570
00:25:59,141 --> 00:26:02,521
Then, one year,
around dusk,

571
00:26:02,644 --> 00:26:04,484
the guy's nowhere to be found.

572
00:26:04,605 --> 00:26:06,765
So we go up to the roof...

573
00:26:06,899 --> 00:26:09,399
And that's when we saw him.

574
00:26:10,027 --> 00:26:13,657
He was lying there
in the back yard,

575
00:26:13,781 --> 00:26:15,821
right by the barbecue...

576
00:26:15,949 --> 00:26:19,159
Almost looked like
he was asleep.

577
00:26:21,371 --> 00:26:23,001
He was changing out
the propane tank.

578
00:26:23,123 --> 00:26:25,833
It was the best cookout ever.

579
00:26:27,503 --> 00:26:29,843
- That's the end of the story?
- Um-hmm.

580
00:26:29,963 --> 00:26:32,343
- That's a ridiculous-
that was so strange.

581
00:26:32,466 --> 00:26:33,716
It's all going
one direction and then-

582
00:26:33,842 --> 00:26:36,852
- that was a good memory.
It's not all like that.

583
00:26:36,970 --> 00:26:38,850
It's a mixed bag.

584
00:26:38,972 --> 00:26:42,312
- Okay, well, anyway, um...

585
00:26:42,434 --> 00:26:44,524
My dad is pissed
because I won't work

586
00:26:44,645 --> 00:26:46,055
for the family business.

587
00:26:46,188 --> 00:26:47,308
- Really?
What's wrong with it?

588
00:26:47,439 --> 00:26:50,189
- It's rated the most
environmentally unsound

589
00:26:50,317 --> 00:26:52,487
business in the state.

590
00:26:52,611 --> 00:26:54,321
- Waverly water treatment?

591
00:26:54,446 --> 00:26:56,816
You're a waverly?
Oh my god.

592
00:26:56,949 --> 00:26:58,079
- How did you
put that together?

593
00:26:58,200 --> 00:26:59,950
- Because I work in the news,
remember?

594
00:27:00,077 --> 00:27:01,407
I mean,
don't get me wrong,

595
00:27:01,537 --> 00:27:02,827
that company
seems like pure evil,

596
00:27:02,955 --> 00:27:04,865
but the buckage
must be pretty good.

597
00:27:04,998 --> 00:27:07,078
- Yeah well, not for me.
I'm not gonna work there

598
00:27:07,209 --> 00:27:08,499
so my brother is
gonna get it all.

599
00:27:08,627 --> 00:27:10,997
- Hmm.
Tough break.

600
00:27:12,422 --> 00:27:13,972
- Where the fuck are we?

601
00:27:14,800 --> 00:27:16,590
Wait.
What are you doing?

602
00:27:16,718 --> 00:27:19,178
- L just gotta stop in here.

603
00:27:23,475 --> 00:27:24,515
- "Yule mart?"

604
00:27:24,643 --> 00:27:26,483
No. No.
We agreed, no more stopping.

605
00:27:26,603 --> 00:27:28,483
My dad's place is just a
couple miles up the road.

606
00:27:28,605 --> 00:27:29,855
- Yeah,
and we're gonna get there.

607
00:27:29,982 --> 00:27:32,862
But my friend's inside,
i have to see if she's okay.

608
00:27:32,985 --> 00:27:35,355
- Fine.
Five minutes.

609
00:27:35,487 --> 00:27:38,777
But do we have anything
deadlier than a bike chain?

610
00:27:38,907 --> 00:27:40,327
- Urn.

611
00:27:40,450 --> 00:27:43,040
This thing.
- No.

612
00:27:43,162 --> 00:27:45,962
- Oh,
check the glove box.

613
00:27:49,626 --> 00:27:51,916
Maybe that?

614
00:27:54,506 --> 00:27:57,716
- You've had a gun
this entire time?

615
00:27:57,843 --> 00:28:00,513
- Yeah, it was in there
when I bought the car.

616
00:28:00,637 --> 00:28:04,057
It's mostly for show, though,
it only has two bullets.

617
00:28:04,183 --> 00:28:06,853
Comes down to it,
we'll use it to tap out.

618
00:28:06,977 --> 00:28:08,397
- "Tap out?"

619
00:28:08,520 --> 00:28:09,400
- Yeah.

620
00:28:09,521 --> 00:28:12,191
You know,
if we get infected.

621
00:28:12,316 --> 00:28:14,026
Tap.

622
00:28:14,151 --> 00:28:16,571
And then tap.

623
00:28:16,695 --> 00:28:18,195
- You just shot yourself first.

624
00:28:18,322 --> 00:28:19,362
- Oh, I'm sorry, Ryan,

625
00:28:19,489 --> 00:28:22,199
I haven't worked out the math
on our murder-suicide yet!

626
00:28:22,326 --> 00:28:24,536
- Okay, let me be
really clear about this:

627
00:28:24,661 --> 00:28:27,081
I do not
want to be tapped out.

628
00:28:27,206 --> 00:28:29,786
You say that now...

629
00:28:29,917 --> 00:28:31,247
- No, seriously,
if I get infected,

630
00:28:31,376 --> 00:28:33,796
just let me run off into
the woods or something.

631
00:28:33,921 --> 00:28:35,801
- You'll feel differently
when you get infected.

632
00:28:35,923 --> 00:28:37,093
I don't want you to suffer.

633
00:28:37,216 --> 00:28:39,256
- No, I could not be
more sure about this;

634
00:28:39,384 --> 00:28:41,144
I do not want you to
shoot me in the head.

635
00:28:41,261 --> 00:28:42,801
- Sure, sure, sure.
Okay, okay.

636
00:28:42,930 --> 00:28:46,140
We'll see, though.
Okay?

637
00:28:51,355 --> 00:28:53,475
Stay alert.

638
00:28:55,817 --> 00:28:57,487
<i>- Jingle bells,
jingle bells, jingle all the way!</i>

639
00:28:57,611 --> 00:28:59,701
"Ah!
"Ah!

640
00:28:59,821 --> 00:29:02,031
- <i>Oh
what fun it is to ride in</i> a

641
00:29:02,157 --> 00:29:05,867
<i>one horse open sleigh...</i>

642
00:29:13,293 --> 00:29:16,423
<i>Deck the halls with boughs of-</i>

643
00:29:18,799 --> 00:29:20,839
- look at all this crap.

644
00:29:20,968 --> 00:29:21,758
- You don't like Christmas?

645
00:29:21,885 --> 00:29:24,845
- Are you kidding me?
I freakin' love Christmas.

646
00:29:24,972 --> 00:29:26,392
Which is why I think
these plastic trees

647
00:29:26,515 --> 00:29:31,015
are for tire stores
and communists.

648
00:29:31,228 --> 00:29:31,728
When I have kids,

649
00:29:31,853 --> 00:29:34,693
I'm gonna take them every
year to cut down a real tree.

650
00:29:34,815 --> 00:29:36,525
- You realize
it takes ten years

651
00:29:36,650 --> 00:29:37,730
for one of those
trees to grow

652
00:29:37,859 --> 00:29:39,529
and only seconds
to saw the life out of it?

653
00:29:39,653 --> 00:29:41,113
- If there is a bigger
buzz kill than you, sir,

654
00:29:41,238 --> 00:29:42,358
I don't know what
that looks like.

655
00:29:42,489 --> 00:29:44,279
- I'm just saying that
we should celebrate

656
00:29:44,408 --> 00:29:45,868
planting a tree
with the children

657
00:29:45,993 --> 00:29:47,543
rather than destroying one.

658
00:29:47,661 --> 00:29:49,251
- "We"?

659
00:29:49,371 --> 00:29:51,331
- Yeah, you know,
i mean, people- earth.

660
00:29:51,456 --> 00:29:53,116
- Uh-huh.
But you said "the children."

661
00:29:53,250 --> 00:29:54,130
And if you meant
children in general

662
00:29:54,251 --> 00:29:57,801
you would've just said something like-
- oh my god.

663
00:29:57,921 --> 00:29:59,461
That sweater.

664
00:30:02,759 --> 00:30:03,929
- Ruby?

665
00:30:04,052 --> 00:30:07,012
Honey, are you okay?

666
00:30:08,265 --> 00:30:10,135
- Oh, look out!

667
00:30:13,562 --> 00:30:15,942
Well, it looks like she's
full-on zombie, let's jet.

668
00:30:16,064 --> 00:30:17,774
- Wait!
We can't leave her like that.

669
00:30:17,899 --> 00:30:18,769
- What do you suggest?

670
00:30:20,610 --> 00:30:21,820
- Tap, tap-

671
00:30:21,945 --> 00:30:23,775
- use our bullets on her?

672
00:30:23,905 --> 00:30:25,235
- It's the right thing to do.

673
00:30:25,365 --> 00:30:26,815
Besides, you said you
didn't want to use them.

674
00:30:26,950 --> 00:30:28,280
- But the gun's in the car.

675
00:30:32,164 --> 00:30:33,714
- Here.

676
00:30:33,832 --> 00:30:35,632
You distract her
and lead her outside.

677
00:30:35,751 --> 00:30:37,921
I'll do the rest.

678
00:30:39,629 --> 00:30:42,129
Hey?

679
00:30:42,257 --> 00:30:45,217
Sale on flesh over here!

680
00:30:45,761 --> 00:30:47,431
Ruby?

681
00:30:53,060 --> 00:30:54,690
<i>'</i> Deb!

682
00:30:54,811 --> 00:30:56,101
What's going on?!

683
00:30:56,229 --> 00:30:57,939
- Get on the roof!
Trust me!

684
00:30:58,065 --> 00:31:00,855
- I don't trust you!

685
00:31:09,076 --> 00:31:11,406
- Yahtzee!

686
00:31:13,538 --> 00:31:15,578
- Did I hurt you in
a past life or something?

687
00:31:15,707 --> 00:31:17,207
- I just thought,
maybe you're right.

688
00:31:17,334 --> 00:31:19,094
Maybe they'll find a cure
for this someday.

689
00:31:19,211 --> 00:31:20,671
- Well,
if I can change one mind...

690
00:31:20,796 --> 00:31:22,256
- Hey,
you saved a zombie, kid,

691
00:31:22,381 --> 00:31:23,841
you didn't undo apartheid.

692
00:31:26,051 --> 00:31:27,761
- Okay,
let's go find your peeps.

693
00:31:29,054 --> 00:31:30,974
Hang in there, rubes.

694
00:31:31,098 --> 00:31:33,018
- It's up here on the right.

695
00:31:36,103 --> 00:31:37,773
Good.
That's Stacy's car.

696
00:31:37,896 --> 00:31:38,806
I'm glad she knew
to come here.

697
00:31:38,939 --> 00:31:42,649
- Yay.
So glad Stacy isn't dead.

698
00:31:42,776 --> 00:31:44,686
- Look, Deb,
i hope this isn't going to be-

699
00:31:46,154 --> 00:31:47,994
are you out of you mind?!
- What?

700
00:31:48,115 --> 00:31:49,945
We both agreed we were not
gonna leave this car again.

701
00:31:50,075 --> 00:31:51,655
- Until we get here, yeah!

702
00:31:51,785 --> 00:31:53,575
Obviously, we have to
get out to collect them.

703
00:31:53,703 --> 00:31:55,003
- We don't even know
if they're in there.

704
00:31:55,122 --> 00:31:56,292
- Trust me.
They are.

705
00:31:56,415 --> 00:31:57,865
We always get
together on the fourth.

706
00:31:57,999 --> 00:31:59,459
It's my dad's favorite holiday.

707
00:31:59,584 --> 00:32:00,674
- Well, prepare yourself.

708
00:32:00,794 --> 00:32:02,594
They may not be the
people you remember.

709
00:32:02,712 --> 00:32:05,052
- Oh, I have no doubt
they'll be unrelenting,

710
00:32:05,173 --> 00:32:06,473
flesh-eating monsters

711
00:32:06,591 --> 00:32:08,801
but I bet they won't
be zombies.

712
00:32:08,927 --> 00:32:11,467
- Okay.
I deserve the things I want.

713
00:32:11,596 --> 00:32:13,136
My needs are worthwhile.

714
00:32:13,265 --> 00:32:15,845
I'm not hurting anyone
by being myself.

715
00:32:15,976 --> 00:32:18,396
- What are you doing,
rain man?

716
00:32:19,271 --> 00:32:20,941
- I like to take a second
to center myself

717
00:32:21,064 --> 00:32:23,154
every time I come here.

718
00:32:23,275 --> 00:32:25,145
I deserve the things I want.

719
00:32:25,277 --> 00:32:26,817
My needs are worthwhile.

720
00:32:26,945 --> 00:32:28,735
L'm not hurting anyone
by being myself-

721
00:32:28,864 --> 00:32:30,124
- I want to be
supportive and all,

722
00:32:30,240 --> 00:32:32,700
but is this mantra
much longer?

723
00:32:32,826 --> 00:32:34,326
- Whoa.

724
00:32:38,874 --> 00:32:40,334
Oh man,
what is it again?

725
00:32:40,459 --> 00:32:42,209
- Well, why don't you try
Stacy's phone number?

726
00:32:42,335 --> 00:32:44,955
- Will you
just give it a rest, alright?

727
00:32:45,088 --> 00:32:47,128
You're like the
Terminator of sarcasm.

728
00:32:47,257 --> 00:32:50,127
- You know,
i drove you here in my car.

729
00:32:50,260 --> 00:32:52,510
And you've been
treating me like I'm just a bag

730
00:32:52,637 --> 00:32:54,847
of wet diapers
you have to lug around.

731
00:32:54,973 --> 00:32:56,723
- Well, that
actually sounds less shitty

732
00:32:56,850 --> 00:32:58,310
than whatever we
got going on now.

733
00:32:58,435 --> 00:32:59,765
Oh, wow.

734
00:32:59,895 --> 00:33:02,555
You know, I thought you were
a cool guy back in the bar,

735
00:33:02,689 --> 00:33:05,439
but now I find out you're
some spoiled pretty boy.

736
00:33:05,567 --> 00:33:07,277
- Excuse me.
"Pretty boy"?!

737
00:33:07,402 --> 00:33:09,992
I have a very masculine
set of features, okay?

738
00:33:10,113 --> 00:33:12,533
If anything, my look is
"burnished rugged."

739
00:33:12,657 --> 00:33:15,027
- Nobody who is that, says that.
- I do.

740
00:33:15,160 --> 00:33:17,370
- Your hair has not moved
this entire time.

741
00:33:17,496 --> 00:33:18,746
- It's thick,
it requires maintenance.

742
00:33:18,872 --> 00:33:19,622
You have no idea!

743
00:33:19,748 --> 00:33:21,368
- You haven't taken a shower
since yesterday,

744
00:33:21,500 --> 00:33:24,710
and yet you still smell like
sandalwood and lilac!

745
00:33:24,836 --> 00:33:25,916
- Oh!
Oh, I'm sorry,

746
00:33:26,046 --> 00:33:27,546
I didn't mean to
distract you from being

747
00:33:27,672 --> 00:33:30,052
the weirdest person
in the world!

748
00:33:30,175 --> 00:33:31,045
Yikes!

749
00:33:31,176 --> 00:33:32,426
(Gunshon

750
00:33:32,552 --> 00:33:35,142
- oh god! Chaz.

751
00:33:35,263 --> 00:33:36,643
Did you change
the gate code?

752
00:33:36,765 --> 00:33:38,055
- Depends.

753
00:33:38,183 --> 00:33:40,023
How do I know you're not...

754
00:33:40,143 --> 00:33:40,733
One of them?

755
00:33:40,852 --> 00:33:43,562
- Because
I'm speaking in words.

756
00:33:43,688 --> 00:33:45,858
- What about her?
- Gimme a break, Chaz.

757
00:33:45,982 --> 00:33:47,612
- Hi, I'm Deb.

758
00:33:47,734 --> 00:33:49,744
(Gunshob
- oh!

759
00:33:49,861 --> 00:33:50,901
Will you knock it off?!

760
00:33:51,029 --> 00:33:53,869
- You're Ryan's big brother?
You're so... different.

761
00:33:53,990 --> 00:33:54,820
- Thanks.

762
00:33:54,950 --> 00:33:56,990
We think he's adopted.
- Oh, that never gets old.

763
00:33:57,118 --> 00:33:58,078
- Can we please come in?

764
00:33:58,203 --> 00:34:00,793
We've had a really long day.

765
00:34:01,039 --> 00:34:02,459
- Wait.
Excuse me, wait.

766
00:34:02,582 --> 00:34:04,632
- What are you?
Are you the rebound?

767
00:34:04,751 --> 00:34:07,631
- Busted!
How did you know, dude?

768
00:34:07,754 --> 00:34:09,424
You're probably an uncle now.

769
00:34:09,548 --> 00:34:10,718
No.

770
00:34:10,840 --> 00:34:11,470
- I knew it.

771
00:34:11,591 --> 00:34:14,011
- No, no. That's not-
Stacy's here, right?

772
00:34:14,135 --> 00:34:17,845
- Oh, she told me all about
your big breakup, stud.

773
00:34:17,973 --> 00:34:18,933
Looks like you didn't
waste too much time

774
00:34:19,057 --> 00:34:20,887
moving on, now did ya?
- No, that's not-

775
00:34:21,017 --> 00:34:22,557
we're just helping each other.

776
00:34:22,686 --> 00:34:23,726
- I'm sure you are.

777
00:34:23,853 --> 00:34:25,693
(Gunshon

778
00:34:26,356 --> 00:34:28,816
Deb?
I'm Chaz.

779
00:34:28,942 --> 00:34:31,952
Clearly the more masculine
of the two waverly brothers.

780
00:34:32,070 --> 00:34:34,280
- You're a good shot.

781
00:34:34,406 --> 00:34:35,566
- I aim to please.

782
00:34:35,699 --> 00:34:38,659
- Okay.
Open the gate.

783
00:34:38,785 --> 00:34:40,445
- Well, you need the code,
man.

784
00:34:40,579 --> 00:34:41,959
- Okay-

785
00:34:42,080 --> 00:34:42,960
- do you want it?
- Yes!

786
00:34:43,081 --> 00:34:47,251
- Okay, it's
five, eight, zero, zero, eight.

787
00:34:47,377 --> 00:34:49,707
That's "boobs" upside down.

788
00:34:49,838 --> 00:34:52,548
- Wow, a gentleman, too.
- Yeah.

789
00:34:52,674 --> 00:34:54,884
- Ooh la la.

790
00:34:55,010 --> 00:34:57,300
Thank you, Chaz.

791
00:34:58,847 --> 00:35:00,467
(Gunshon

792
00:35:01,016 --> 00:35:03,346
<i>- whoa'. - Ah'. Geez.</i>

793
00:35:04,311 --> 00:35:05,561
- Dad?!

794
00:35:05,687 --> 00:35:06,897
- Whoa.

795
00:35:07,022 --> 00:35:09,362
This is like straight out of
"meet Joe black."

796
00:35:09,482 --> 00:35:10,232
:81')?!

797
00:35:10,358 --> 00:35:12,608
- Oh my rye bread,
you're all right!

798
00:35:12,736 --> 00:35:14,946
We thought for sure-
- no, no. I'm okay.

799
00:35:15,071 --> 00:35:16,241
- Hey Stacy,
did you meet Deb?

800
00:35:16,364 --> 00:35:18,244
She came here with Ryan.
Together.

801
00:35:18,366 --> 00:35:20,486
- Where did you
creep up from?

802
00:35:20,619 --> 00:35:22,909
- Oh, I just
came with rye bread.

803
00:35:23,038 --> 00:35:24,368
- They helped each other
get across town.

804
00:35:24,497 --> 00:35:25,867
God knows what they
had to do to survive,

805
00:35:25,999 --> 00:35:26,869
isn't that swell?

806
00:35:27,000 --> 00:35:28,630
- So helpful.

807
00:35:28,752 --> 00:35:30,092
Do we tip her, or...?

808
00:35:30,211 --> 00:35:33,591
- It was nothing. I was just...
One hand stroking the other.

809
00:35:33,715 --> 00:35:36,585
Friends with benefits,
as they say.

810
00:35:36,718 --> 00:35:37,428
- I'm glad you made it.

811
00:35:37,552 --> 00:35:39,472
- Whoa!
- Dad!

812
00:35:39,596 --> 00:35:40,966
- Dad, look,
I've been thinking,

813
00:35:41,097 --> 00:35:43,427
I'm really sorry for what I said
on the phone last night.

814
00:35:43,558 --> 00:35:45,348
I've been thinking all day
and I was worried

815
00:35:45,477 --> 00:35:46,437
that those might be
the last words

816
00:35:46,561 --> 00:35:47,481
we ever said to each other.

817
00:35:47,604 --> 00:35:50,364
- Could I see you in
the kitchen for a moment?

818
00:35:50,482 --> 00:35:51,692
I need a little help
with my brownies.

819
00:35:51,816 --> 00:35:53,066
- Mr. waverly?

820
00:35:53,193 --> 00:35:54,443
Hi.

821
00:35:54,569 --> 00:35:56,779
- Hi.

822
00:35:59,532 --> 00:36:02,492
- Whoo.
- I always help him with the brownies.

823
00:36:02,827 --> 00:36:04,577
Hey, Deb,
how much you bench?

824
00:36:04,704 --> 00:36:06,664
- Right now?
- Yeah.

825
00:36:06,790 --> 00:36:08,420
" Forty?

826
00:36:08,875 --> 00:36:09,825
- How could you be
so boneheaded?

827
00:36:09,959 --> 00:36:11,289
- Stacy's here,
she's not family.

828
00:36:11,419 --> 00:36:13,419
- Stacy's inner circle!

829
00:36:13,546 --> 00:36:15,586
She's been here since
last night, for god's sake.

830
00:36:15,715 --> 00:36:16,295
- She has?

831
00:36:16,424 --> 00:36:17,434
- The point is,

832
00:36:17,550 --> 00:36:19,260
I spoke with the governor
on the short-wave.

833
00:36:19,386 --> 00:36:20,886
He's arranged a chopper evac

834
00:36:21,012 --> 00:36:23,682
at the county line
at 0900 hours tomorrow.

835
00:36:23,807 --> 00:36:25,927
For the four of us.
Not five.

836
00:36:26,059 --> 00:36:28,729
- I'm sure Deb can squeeze in.

837
00:36:28,853 --> 00:36:29,943
- Oh.

838
00:36:30,063 --> 00:36:33,273
You're a big man now
all of a sudden, huh?

839
00:36:33,400 --> 00:36:34,860
Why did I not get the memo?

840
00:36:34,984 --> 00:36:37,404
Well, this is bigger
than you are, smart guy.

841
00:36:37,529 --> 00:36:39,569
And you'd know that if you'd
listened on the phone last night

842
00:36:39,698 --> 00:36:41,828
instead of blathering on
about your principles.

843
00:36:41,950 --> 00:36:42,950
- Wait, so-

844
00:36:43,076 --> 00:36:47,116
you knew last night that people
were gonna turn into zombies?

845
00:36:47,247 --> 00:36:50,077
- No.
No, no, no.

846
00:36:50,208 --> 00:36:53,748
These people aren't...
What you said.

847
00:36:53,878 --> 00:36:55,418
They're just ordinary citizens,

848
00:36:55,547 --> 00:36:58,217
who happen to have contracted

849
00:36:58,341 --> 00:37:00,341
a parasite-borne virus

850
00:37:00,468 --> 00:37:02,388
that makes their
corporal bodies decompose

851
00:37:02,512 --> 00:37:05,012
and gives them an insatiable
appetite for human flesh.

852
00:37:05,140 --> 00:37:07,100
- Oh my god.

853
00:37:07,225 --> 00:37:08,135
The water.

854
00:37:08,268 --> 00:37:09,138
- Now Ryan, come on.

855
00:37:09,269 --> 00:37:13,019
It's just a very complicated
situation, alright?

856
00:37:13,148 --> 00:37:15,018
We haven't got our arms
around all the details yet.

857
00:37:15,150 --> 00:37:16,360
- Well, get your
arms around this:

858
00:37:16,484 --> 00:37:17,494
Deb's coming with us!

859
00:37:17,610 --> 00:37:18,440
- That's not an option.

860
00:37:18,570 --> 00:37:20,990
- If you leave her out,
i go too.

861
00:37:21,114 --> 00:37:22,994
I promised her I would
get her out of town,

862
00:37:23,116 --> 00:37:25,986
and I'm keeping that promise.

863
00:37:31,541 --> 00:37:34,501
Hmm.

864
00:37:36,296 --> 00:37:38,836
You can't talk, Stacy, while I'm shooting.
- I didn't.

865
00:37:38,965 --> 00:37:40,675
- So, you're saying
people became zombies

866
00:37:40,800 --> 00:37:42,300
last night if they
drank the city water?

867
00:37:42,427 --> 00:37:43,217
- Or bathed in it.

868
00:37:43,344 --> 00:37:45,014
Which explains how
you were spared.

869
00:37:45,138 --> 00:37:47,518
- Stacy!
Deb is my guest, please.

870
00:37:47,640 --> 00:37:48,560
- What?
I'm not trying to be mean,

871
00:37:48,683 --> 00:37:50,023
I'm just going by
the look of her hair

872
00:37:50,143 --> 00:37:53,653
and face and clothes.

873
00:37:53,772 --> 00:37:55,982
But Ryan, you take a shower
like every ten minutes.

874
00:37:56,107 --> 00:37:58,147
Why didn't you turn...

875
00:37:58,276 --> 00:37:59,986
Unless...

876
00:38:00,111 --> 00:38:01,321
I think I'm gonna be sick.

877
00:38:01,446 --> 00:38:03,156
- Hi-oh!

878
00:38:03,281 --> 00:38:05,531
Longest walk of shame ever!

879
00:38:05,658 --> 00:38:07,118
- No! No!
That's not-

880
00:38:07,243 --> 00:38:09,413
nothing happened,
we both just passed out.

881
00:38:09,537 --> 00:38:11,657
- I mean...
Something "happened."

882
00:38:11,790 --> 00:38:13,040
- I'm sure it did.

883
00:38:13,166 --> 00:38:15,376
While you two were getting
gross with each other...

884
00:38:15,502 --> 00:38:18,592
I took care of Stacy
and her pussy cats.

885
00:38:18,713 --> 00:38:20,923
- Ryan?

886
00:38:21,090 --> 00:38:24,680
You were right,
and I was wrong.

887
00:38:24,803 --> 00:38:28,103
I've decided to
keep the nutmeg in.

888
00:38:28,223 --> 00:38:31,103
- I'm... glad you see it that way.
- Mm-hmm.

889
00:38:31,226 --> 00:38:33,896
- Nutmeg can be a
bit much at times,

890
00:38:34,020 --> 00:38:36,060
but that's no reason
to abandon it.

891
00:38:36,189 --> 00:38:38,359
- You guys are, what,
trading recipes now?

892
00:38:38,483 --> 00:38:39,483
When did that start happening?

893
00:38:39,609 --> 00:38:41,489
- Chaz, would you give
your ears a rest please?

894
00:38:41,611 --> 00:38:42,571
- Okay, yeah.

895
00:38:42,695 --> 00:38:45,025
- The important thing is
we're safe.

896
00:38:45,156 --> 00:38:45,906
We're all safe!

897
00:38:46,032 --> 00:38:47,452
(Gunshon

898
00:38:47,575 --> 00:38:50,695
- ho- holy frijoles!

899
00:38:50,829 --> 00:38:52,119
- Oh man.

900
00:38:52,247 --> 00:38:53,407
- Topper?

901
00:38:53,540 --> 00:38:56,380
You still have that giant
boozehound on the payroll?

902
00:38:56,501 --> 00:38:57,421
Hi, Ryan.

903
00:38:57,544 --> 00:38:59,004
- That "giant boozehound"

904
00:38:59,128 --> 00:39:01,378
saved your privileged
little ass numerous times

905
00:39:01,506 --> 00:39:02,416
when you were a boy.

906
00:39:02,549 --> 00:39:04,339
- Topper, just keep
walking the perimeter

907
00:39:04,467 --> 00:39:05,587
or no brownie for you.

908
00:39:05,718 --> 00:39:06,968
- Yeah.
Like when Leah schiffer

909
00:39:07,095 --> 00:39:08,675
discovered me
at hide-and-seek,

910
00:39:08,805 --> 00:39:09,805
and got put in the hospital?

911
00:39:09,931 --> 00:39:11,271
She didn't walk right
ever again.

912
00:39:11,391 --> 00:39:13,521
- Leah didn't play
by the rules.

913
00:39:13,643 --> 00:39:16,653
Society crumbles without rules.
- Amen, pop.

914
00:39:16,771 --> 00:39:18,691
- And speaking of crumbling...

915
00:39:18,815 --> 00:39:21,645
I'm pretty sure my brownies
must be cool enough by now.

916
00:39:21,776 --> 00:39:24,446
Shall we all adjourn
to the living room?

917
00:39:24,571 --> 00:39:26,361
Leah schiffer.

918
00:39:26,906 --> 00:39:28,616
Easy does it there.

919
00:39:28,741 --> 00:39:30,911
Mmm.

920
00:39:31,035 --> 00:39:33,615
Will you look at that, huh?

921
00:39:33,955 --> 00:39:37,415
- Sorry, I'm still stuck
on this water thing.

922
00:39:37,542 --> 00:39:39,382
- It's boring stuff, dear.

923
00:39:39,502 --> 00:39:40,882
Little bit too technical.

924
00:39:41,004 --> 00:39:41,964
- Well, does it have
to do with the

925
00:39:42,088 --> 00:39:43,668
ultraviolet treatment process

926
00:39:43,798 --> 00:39:45,548
that you're testing
at waverly water?

927
00:39:45,675 --> 00:39:46,715
- What?

928
00:39:46,843 --> 00:39:49,433
No. Not according
to public record.

929
00:39:49,554 --> 00:39:53,774
Where did you ever hear such
a preposterous fabrication?

930
00:39:53,892 --> 00:39:57,022
- Well, I keep my ear
to the ground for my job.

931
00:39:57,145 --> 00:39:59,355
Deb clarington,
news channel seven?

932
00:39:59,480 --> 00:40:01,440
Your system is supposed
to cut the cost

933
00:40:01,566 --> 00:40:04,526
of purifying our water
by half, right?

934
00:40:04,652 --> 00:40:07,662
That's...
Brilliant and ambitious.

935
00:40:07,780 --> 00:40:10,990
- Well, yes. It was supposed to
be a boon for the entire town.

936
00:40:11,117 --> 00:40:14,117
- And we could sell the surplus
to the bottling companies.

937
00:40:14,245 --> 00:40:17,205
- But weren't you supposed
to still be in beta

938
00:40:17,332 --> 00:40:18,372
on the process?

939
00:40:18,499 --> 00:40:20,169
- We-well, we were.

940
00:40:20,293 --> 00:40:22,883
- Then, why the rush, frank?

941
00:40:23,004 --> 00:40:25,724
- I told the governor
that we needed more time.

942
00:40:25,840 --> 00:40:28,130
That the pre-filters
weren't catching

943
00:40:28,259 --> 00:40:30,219
all the bio pathogens yet.

944
00:40:30,345 --> 00:40:34,015
But he- he insisted that we
roll it out before the holiday

945
00:40:34,140 --> 00:40:36,230
so he could squeeze it
into the q2 budget.

946
00:40:36,351 --> 00:40:37,441
- And by "insisted,"

947
00:40:37,560 --> 00:40:39,730
I'm sure you mean he
gave you a huge kickback.

948
00:40:39,854 --> 00:40:41,154
- How were we supposed
to know that it was

949
00:40:41,272 --> 00:40:43,692
gonna be a banner year
for the ichabod virus?

950
00:40:43,816 --> 00:40:47,236
The same thing that wiped out
the indigenous wakanabi Indians?

951
00:40:47,362 --> 00:40:48,992
- Wabenaki Indians, pop.

952
00:40:49,113 --> 00:40:50,283
- Wabenaki Indians.

953
00:40:50,406 --> 00:40:51,696
- I'm supposed to
be proud of you,

954
00:40:51,824 --> 00:40:54,284
that you wiped out the entire
population of our town?

955
00:40:54,410 --> 00:40:56,370
- You see that?
You always go to the negative.

956
00:40:56,496 --> 00:40:57,706
- I'm proud of you, pop.
- Always.

957
00:40:57,830 --> 00:40:59,790
- Population or no population.

958
00:40:59,916 --> 00:41:01,496
- Come on.
Relax now, babe.

959
00:41:01,626 --> 00:41:03,956
We've got some
catching up to do.

960
00:41:04,087 --> 00:41:07,417
- Okay. Well, jeeze,
it's been a hoot,

961
00:41:07,548 --> 00:41:09,628
but I think I need to
skedaddle down the road.

962
00:41:09,759 --> 00:41:11,299
- No, Deb. Wait.

963
00:41:11,427 --> 00:41:12,887
- Why, Ryan?

964
00:41:13,012 --> 00:41:15,062
- You can't go back out there.

965
00:41:15,181 --> 00:41:17,561
My dad arranged a helicopter
for us in the morning.

966
00:41:17,684 --> 00:41:20,854
Plus, you must be exhausted.
We hardly slept last night.

967
00:41:20,979 --> 00:41:22,359
- You know those times
when you can taste

968
00:41:22,480 --> 00:41:23,400
your own stomach acid?

969
00:41:23,523 --> 00:41:24,943
I have that right now.

970
00:41:25,066 --> 00:41:26,526
- I know what you mean.

971
00:41:26,651 --> 00:41:29,401
- You know, I'm gonna be
just fine, chief.

972
00:41:29,529 --> 00:41:30,659
This was the deal.

973
00:41:30,780 --> 00:41:35,280
We got you here, and now I'm
gonna get on to my own family.

974
00:41:36,828 --> 00:41:39,328
Thanks for the mammories.

975
00:41:40,540 --> 00:41:43,330
- Nobody's going anywhere!

976
00:41:43,751 --> 00:41:46,551
Till they taste one of my
freedom brownies.

977
00:41:46,671 --> 00:41:49,471
Chaz, give this to topper?

978
00:41:49,590 --> 00:41:53,220
- You got it, pop.
- For close range kills.

979
00:41:54,929 --> 00:41:57,259
Stay.

980
00:41:57,390 --> 00:42:00,520
The brownies are a
4th of July tradition

981
00:42:00,643 --> 00:42:03,193
that we started when
Ryan's mother was alive.

982
00:42:03,312 --> 00:42:04,862
You remind me of her,
in a way.

983
00:42:04,981 --> 00:42:07,611
- I think we did that,
like, twice.

984
00:42:07,734 --> 00:42:10,114
- Well, if it means
that much to you... of course.

985
00:42:10,236 --> 00:42:11,696
- Yes.

986
00:42:13,031 --> 00:42:14,321
- Ooh...

987
00:42:14,449 --> 00:42:18,699
- Hmm?
- You guys. That is-

988
00:42:18,828 --> 00:42:21,248
so... good.

989
00:42:21,372 --> 00:42:22,922
- I'm surprised Chaz
hasn't added creatine

990
00:42:23,041 --> 00:42:23,621
to his brownie yet.

991
00:42:23,750 --> 00:42:27,670
- Hey, I'm just trying to
stay strong for all of us.

992
00:42:27,795 --> 00:42:29,205
What're you gonna do
when the shit hits the fan,

993
00:42:29,338 --> 00:42:29,958
huh, little brother?

994
00:42:30,089 --> 00:42:31,549
You gonna attack 'em
with your hair dryer?

995
00:42:31,674 --> 00:42:32,684
Is that what
you're going to do?

996
00:42:32,800 --> 00:42:34,130
Huh, little brother?

997
00:42:34,260 --> 00:42:36,510
- Whoa! Stop it.
- Hey, hey, hey!

998
00:42:36,637 --> 00:42:38,217
- Noogie. Noogie
- stop it!

999
00:42:38,347 --> 00:42:38,717
- Get off me!

1000
00:42:38,848 --> 00:42:41,388
- I'm gonna give you a noogie.
- Get off of me!

1001
00:42:41,517 --> 00:42:42,887
- You guys are acting
worse than those...

1002
00:42:43,019 --> 00:42:43,769
Things out there.

1003
00:42:43,895 --> 00:42:45,645
- No. I thought they were
just ordinary citizens

1004
00:42:45,772 --> 00:42:46,562
who got a little wet.

1005
00:42:46,689 --> 00:42:47,979
- Shut up,
you little piss-ant.

1006
00:42:48,107 --> 00:42:49,437
- I'm gonna wet Willy him,
pop!

1007
00:42:49,567 --> 00:42:50,987
- I got him!
- Hey, come on!

1008
00:42:51,110 --> 00:42:53,200
- You numbskulls.
You idiots.

1009
00:42:53,321 --> 00:42:55,451
If your mother- stop it!
- I got him.

1010
00:42:55,573 --> 00:42:57,413
- He can't get up, I got him.
- Stop it!

1011
00:42:57,533 --> 00:42:57,993
- He's trapped.

1012
00:42:58,117 --> 00:43:00,287
- "Through the night
rode Paul revere

1013
00:43:00,411 --> 00:43:04,831
and so through the night
went his cry of alarm

1014
00:43:04,957 --> 00:43:08,207
through every middlesex
village and farm

1015
00:43:08,336 --> 00:43:12,836
a cry of defiance,
and not of fear!"

1016
00:43:13,049 --> 00:43:14,549
- What the bejeezus was that?

1017
00:43:14,675 --> 00:43:16,545
- That was longfellow.
Deb's favorite.

1018
00:43:16,677 --> 00:43:18,797
- Ah, longfellow.
You know he's from here.

1019
00:43:18,930 --> 00:43:21,220
Maine.
Portland.

1020
00:43:21,349 --> 00:43:24,769
- You know,
maybe it's not my place, but

1021
00:43:24,894 --> 00:43:27,104
you guys are with family.

1022
00:43:27,230 --> 00:43:29,690
We're lucky we're even alive.

1023
00:43:29,816 --> 00:43:31,776
- You see that, boys?

1024
00:43:31,901 --> 00:43:33,991
The little redhead's right!

1025
00:43:34,112 --> 00:43:35,992
It's the 4th of July,
for god's sake.

1026
00:43:36,114 --> 00:43:38,834
- You're right.
Yeah.

1027
00:43:38,950 --> 00:43:41,080
Let's blow some shit up, yeah?

1028
00:43:41,202 --> 00:43:42,292
- Yeah?

1029
00:43:45,790 --> 00:43:46,790
- Wait for it.

1030
00:43:46,916 --> 00:43:48,326
- Now?
- Wait for it.

1031
00:43:48,459 --> 00:43:49,999
- Yeah.
- Here comes the good part.

1032
00:43:50,128 --> 00:43:50,628
There it is.

1033
00:43:50,753 --> 00:43:53,423
- Oh wow.
- Check that out.

1034
00:43:53,548 --> 00:43:54,918
- That's great.
- Sweet.

1035
00:43:55,049 --> 00:43:56,719
Up next,
i got a big aerial display.

1036
00:43:56,843 --> 00:43:58,853
It explodes and then a
roaring bear face comes out.

1037
00:43:58,970 --> 00:44:01,260
- No, no. No, that's enough,
that's enough.

1038
00:44:01,389 --> 00:44:02,639
We don't want to attract
too much attention.

1039
00:44:02,765 --> 00:44:05,595
- What?
Dad, I got all these m-80s-

1040
00:44:05,726 --> 00:44:07,636
you don't want to see the bear face?!
- No.

1041
00:44:07,770 --> 00:44:09,150
No, I do not.

1042
00:44:09,272 --> 00:44:12,022
- - I shouldn't
have even let you do this one.

1043
00:44:12,150 --> 00:44:16,150
Okay everybody, drink up.
I'm gonna turn in.

1044
00:44:16,279 --> 00:44:18,319
We have to have our wits
about us in the morning, so-

1045
00:44:18,447 --> 00:44:20,407
- ooh, quick question.
- Yeah?

1046
00:44:20,533 --> 00:44:22,083
- Where's everyone sleeping?

1047
00:44:22,201 --> 00:44:23,791
Oh.

1048
00:44:23,911 --> 00:44:27,161
Well, Ryan and Stacy will
stay in Ryan's old room,

1049
00:44:27,290 --> 00:44:31,340
and Deborah, over there,
how you doing there, hon?

1050
00:44:31,460 --> 00:44:32,340
- I'm fine.

1051
00:44:32,461 --> 00:44:33,671
Okay.

1052
00:44:33,796 --> 00:44:35,796
She's gonna be in your room.
Alright?

1053
00:44:35,923 --> 00:44:38,013
And you're gonna
stand watch with topper.

1054
00:44:38,134 --> 00:44:40,224
- Mmm. - Come on. Walk with me.

1055
00:44:40,344 --> 00:44:42,684
- Humph.
- Walk with me, Chaz.

1056
00:44:42,805 --> 00:44:45,095
- Come.
- Uh.

1057
00:44:46,475 --> 00:44:48,725
- Come on.

1058
00:44:49,312 --> 00:44:51,522
I'm so glad you're
home safe, babe.

1059
00:44:51,647 --> 00:44:54,607
- Yeah. Thanks.

1060
00:45:01,282 --> 00:45:02,832
- I'm gonna need
your help with Ryan

1061
00:45:02,950 --> 00:45:03,530
in the morning.

1062
00:45:03,659 --> 00:45:04,579
- How do you mean?

1063
00:45:04,702 --> 00:45:06,662
- His new friend
isn't coming with us.

1064
00:45:06,787 --> 00:45:07,747
- The adorable little
ginger girl?

1065
00:45:07,872 --> 00:45:09,502
- I'm sure he'll throw
a hissy fit.

1066
00:45:09,624 --> 00:45:12,674
- How- how are we gonna
sneak out without her?

1067
00:45:12,793 --> 00:45:14,883
- I put enough horse
tranquilizer in that brownie

1068
00:45:15,004 --> 00:45:16,554
to keep her sleeping
through August.

1069
00:45:16,672 --> 00:45:19,012
I'm surprised she's even still on her feet.
- Yeah.

1070
00:45:19,133 --> 00:45:22,433
- I'm sure she'll be going
down for the count soon.

1071
00:45:23,471 --> 00:45:26,391
Hey, don't go soft
on me now, boy.

1072
00:45:26,515 --> 00:45:27,675
She works for the news,

1073
00:45:27,808 --> 00:45:30,308
we don't want her doing some
story on the water supply.

1074
00:45:30,436 --> 00:45:31,686
- No.
- No.

1075
00:45:31,812 --> 00:45:36,312
Sometimes, you gotta put your
own oxygen mask on first.

1076
00:45:37,693 --> 00:45:40,113
- Hmm?
- Put my oxygen mask on first?

1077
00:45:40,238 --> 00:45:41,238
- Right.

1078
00:45:41,364 --> 00:45:42,534
- First.
- Ow.

1079
00:45:42,657 --> 00:45:43,947
- Alright.

1080
00:45:44,992 --> 00:45:46,622
And Chaz?
- Yeah, pop?

1081
00:45:46,744 --> 00:45:48,584
- Stop trying to bang Stacy.

1082
00:45:48,704 --> 00:45:50,584
Once was enough.

1083
00:45:50,706 --> 00:45:52,076
- If only it was.

1084
00:45:52,208 --> 00:45:56,298
- Oh, don't you tell me you're
falling in love with her.

1085
00:45:56,420 --> 00:45:58,800
Ryan's back.
Be realistic.

1086
00:45:58,923 --> 00:45:59,213
- What?

1087
00:45:59,340 --> 00:46:01,550
Is it totally unrealistic
to think that I could be

1088
00:46:01,676 --> 00:46:03,426
the special one for once?

1089
00:46:03,552 --> 00:46:05,432
I mean, what's he got
that I don't got?

1090
00:46:05,554 --> 00:46:06,894
Besides your great eyes.

1091
00:46:07,014 --> 00:46:09,064
- You gotta stay focused, boy.
- Uh-huh.

1092
00:46:09,183 --> 00:46:10,893
- You hear me? Stay focused.
- Okay.

1093
00:46:11,018 --> 00:46:12,058
- We gotta keep
our shit straight

1094
00:46:12,186 --> 00:46:12,976
if we're gonna make it
through this thing.

1095
00:46:13,104 --> 00:46:15,194
- Keep our shit straight.
- Keep it straight.

1096
00:46:15,314 --> 00:46:16,404
- Keep it straight.

1097
00:46:16,524 --> 00:46:17,734
Thanks, pop.
- Yeah.

1098
00:46:17,858 --> 00:46:18,728
- Thanks for the rap, pop.
- Okay.

1099
00:46:18,859 --> 00:46:20,689
Okay.

1100
00:46:20,820 --> 00:46:22,150
Okay.

1101
00:46:22,280 --> 00:46:23,410
Okay! Alright.

1102
00:46:23,531 --> 00:46:26,991
Now you better get back to your post.
- Okay.

1103
00:46:43,426 --> 00:46:45,086
- "Portland's water
runs through him"?

1104
00:46:45,219 --> 00:46:47,349
Ew.
Gross.

1105
00:46:51,058 --> 00:46:54,308
- I think you can forgo
your sit-ups tonight.

1106
00:46:56,063 --> 00:46:58,523
I'll give you a workout.

1107
00:46:58,649 --> 00:47:02,069
- Wow.
Uh. Stacy-

1108
00:47:02,194 --> 00:47:04,074
- I'm talking about sex.

1109
00:47:04,196 --> 00:47:05,106
- No, I know.

1110
00:47:05,239 --> 00:47:07,989
Um, I'm gonna sleep here
on the floor, alright?

1111
00:47:08,117 --> 00:47:09,197
You take the bed.

1112
00:47:09,327 --> 00:47:11,077
A let's happened since
you broke up with me.

1113
00:47:11,203 --> 00:47:13,003
- Are you gonna keep
throwing that in my face?

1114
00:47:13,122 --> 00:47:15,422
- No. Hey, look,
we need to talk, alright?

1115
00:47:15,541 --> 00:47:18,251
I think you were right
to dump me.

1116
00:47:18,377 --> 00:47:20,587
- Ryan, you need to stop
being a martyr, okay?

1117
00:47:20,713 --> 00:47:22,173
This is a sure thing.

1118
00:47:22,298 --> 00:47:24,048
Just relax.

1119
00:47:24,175 --> 00:47:26,255
- No, wait,
i, I, I, I mean-

1120
00:47:26,385 --> 00:47:28,715
I'm saying...
We want different things.

1121
00:47:28,846 --> 00:47:29,806
- Oh, really?

1122
00:47:29,930 --> 00:47:32,270
And what do you want?
That nerd?

1123
00:47:32,391 --> 00:47:33,561
- Could you keep
your voice down?

1124
00:47:33,684 --> 00:47:34,984
- What does she do
for you, Ryan?

1125
00:47:35,102 --> 00:47:36,272
She ride you like this?

1126
00:47:36,395 --> 00:47:37,645
Like, oh yeah!

1127
00:47:37,772 --> 00:47:39,442
Oh, Ryan!
You're the best!

1128
00:47:39,565 --> 00:47:41,435
Oh, yes. Oh, <i>Ryan!</i>

1129
00:47:41,567 --> 00:47:43,397
<i>Oh yes.
You're the best!</i>

1130
00:47:43,527 --> 00:47:46,067
<i>Oh yeah, Ryan!
Oh yeah!</i>

1131
00:47:46,197 --> 00:47:48,867
<i>Oh yes!
Oh, take me to comic-con!</i>

1132
00:47:48,991 --> 00:47:50,831
<i>Oh, yeah! Oh, Ryan!</i>

1133
00:47:50,951 --> 00:47:52,701
<i>Oh yes!
- Stop it! Cut it out!</i>

1134
00:47:52,828 --> 00:47:54,788
<i>Oh yea ' h, r oh!' Van!</i>

1135
00:47:54,914 --> 00:47:58,084
<i>Oh, yeah. Oh, Ryan.
Oh yeah.</i>

1136
00:47:58,209 --> 00:48:00,709
- Yeah, Ryan! I shop at target!
- Stop it! Cut it out!

1137
00:48:00,836 --> 00:48:01,706
Shh.

1138
00:48:01,837 --> 00:48:04,967
- Oh yeah, Ryan...

1139
00:48:05,091 --> 00:48:06,931
<i>Oh yeah. Oh, Ryan!</i>

1140
00:48:07,051 --> 00:48:08,801
<i>Oh yes! Yes!
- Cut it out!</i>

1141
00:48:08,928 --> 00:48:11,508
" <i>Oh yeah, Ryan!
Oh, yeah!</i>

1142
00:48:11,639 --> 00:48:14,059
<i>Oh yes!
Oh, take me to comic-con!</i>

1143
00:48:14,183 --> 00:48:15,233
<i>Oh yes!</i>

1144
00:48:15,351 --> 00:48:18,351
<i>- Oh, Ryan! Oh yes!
- Cut it out!</i>

1145
00:48:18,479 --> 00:48:22,109
<i>- Oh yeah! Oh yeah!
- Stacy, stop! Stacy, stop!</i>

1146
00:48:22,233 --> 00:48:26,363
<i>- Oh, yeah! Oh, yeah!
- Stop! Stop! Please!</i>

1147
00:48:26,487 --> 00:48:28,657
<i>- Oh, yes! Oh, Ryan!</i>

1148
00:48:28,781 --> 00:48:30,701
I only wear vintage clothes!
- Shh. Shh.

1149
00:48:30,825 --> 00:48:32,365
You're acting insane.

1150
00:48:33,994 --> 00:48:35,454
- What the-

1151
00:48:35,579 --> 00:48:39,289
if that cooze let out my cats
so help me!

1152
00:48:58,561 --> 00:48:59,941
Trixie?

1153
00:49:00,062 --> 00:49:01,562
<i>Mayhem]?</i>

1154
00:49:01,689 --> 00:49:02,609
Trixie?!

1155
00:49:05,234 --> 00:49:06,904
Oh!

1156
00:49:07,027 --> 00:49:07,937
Chaz!

1157
00:49:09,447 --> 00:49:10,527
- Ryan!
- What?

1158
00:49:10,656 --> 00:49:12,066
- The bastards have
surrounded the house!

1159
00:49:12,199 --> 00:49:13,949
Time to put on your
big boy pants, son!

1160
00:49:14,076 --> 00:49:15,196
- Dad, you don't
have to talk to me

1161
00:49:15,327 --> 00:49:17,947
like I'm some kind of kid.

1162
00:49:19,748 --> 00:49:20,828
- Aim high.

1163
00:49:20,958 --> 00:49:22,668
And I'm not talking
about life goals...

1164
00:49:22,793 --> 00:49:24,043
Shoot them in the head.

1165
00:49:24,170 --> 00:49:24,920
Let's move!

1166
00:49:25,045 --> 00:49:26,755
- Stacy,

1167
00:49:26,881 --> 00:49:28,471
how could you do that to me?

1168
00:49:30,593 --> 00:49:32,263
Didn't last night
mean anything to you?

1169
00:49:32,386 --> 00:49:34,846
- Yeah, of course it did!

1170
00:49:34,972 --> 00:49:35,812
I think.

1171
00:49:38,017 --> 00:49:41,477
But, you know, Ryan is just
so good-looking, you know?

1172
00:49:44,106 --> 00:49:45,976
That one's coming fast, Chaz.

1173
00:49:46,108 --> 00:49:47,478
Chaz?

1174
00:49:47,610 --> 00:49:48,990
Chaz, that one's
coming kinda fast!

1175
00:49:49,111 --> 00:49:49,741
Chaz?!

1176
00:49:49,862 --> 00:49:52,532
Ah! Ah!
Ow!

1177
00:49:52,656 --> 00:49:54,486
Ah! Stop it!

1178
00:49:54,617 --> 00:49:57,577
I'm too pretty to die!

1179
00:49:59,830 --> 00:50:02,330
Zombie bastards!

1180
00:50:06,420 --> 00:50:08,000
- Yeah, that a boy.
Good job.

1181
00:50:08,130 --> 00:50:09,970
Chaz!
Look out behind you!

1182
00:50:10,090 --> 00:50:12,840
"Ah!

1183
00:50:14,637 --> 00:50:15,847
- He's been bit.
- Oh no, Chaz.

1184
00:50:15,971 --> 00:50:17,721
- He's been bit.
Get him on the couch.

1185
00:50:17,848 --> 00:50:19,848
I'll take care of the door.

1186
00:50:21,310 --> 00:50:25,560
<i>♪ I am not impressed
by your puzzle</i>

1187
00:50:26,815 --> 00:50:31,315
<i>♪ I have already figured out I</i>

1188
00:50:32,196 --> 00:50:34,106
what the-?

1189
00:50:35,574 --> 00:50:38,794
On!
Oh, god. Ruby!

1190
00:50:41,205 --> 00:50:44,535
Honey, I'm so sorry.

1191
00:50:44,667 --> 00:50:47,537
I completely forgot
you were in there.

1192
00:50:47,670 --> 00:50:49,960
What the-?
Sh-

1193
00:50:50,089 --> 00:50:54,429
oh, I must be the most
selfish person in the world.

1194
00:50:55,344 --> 00:50:56,554
Here I am,

1195
00:50:56,679 --> 00:50:58,599
acting like I'm doing you
some kind of favor

1196
00:50:58,722 --> 00:51:01,142
by keeping you alive.

1197
00:51:01,267 --> 00:51:04,977
Deluding myself that there might
actually be a cure for this.

1198
00:51:05,104 --> 00:51:07,824
But really I just...

1199
00:51:07,940 --> 00:51:10,860
I can't bring myself
to end it for you.

1200
00:51:14,822 --> 00:51:18,372
I never would have
talked to Ryan without you.

1201
00:51:18,492 --> 00:51:22,992
And though I deeply
regret meeting that

1202
00:51:24,123 --> 00:51:26,673
elitist man-whore...

1203
00:51:26,792 --> 00:51:31,292
For one night, damn it,
i lived, Ruby.

1204
00:51:31,922 --> 00:51:33,922
I lived.

1205
00:51:39,555 --> 00:51:41,555
What the ding-dong?

1206
00:51:43,851 --> 00:51:46,271
- Look sharp, people!

1207
00:51:48,647 --> 00:51:51,567
- Hi, could you shut it off,
please?

1208
00:51:51,692 --> 00:51:53,192
Shut it down-
thank you.

1209
00:51:53,319 --> 00:51:55,069
- Hi.
- Good morning.

1210
00:51:55,195 --> 00:51:57,275
Good morning.

1211
00:51:57,406 --> 00:51:59,446
- So I guess you guys
have heard about

1212
00:51:59,575 --> 00:52:01,785
the zombies in town.

1213
00:52:01,910 --> 00:52:02,580
- Zombies?
Zombies?!

1214
00:52:02,703 --> 00:52:05,003
Guys, she says
there's zombies.

1215
00:52:05,122 --> 00:52:06,412
Yeah, we've heard about
the zombies.

1216
00:52:06,540 --> 00:52:08,170
That's why we're here.

1217
00:52:08,292 --> 00:52:09,882
So if you wouldn't mind
taking the keys out

1218
00:52:10,002 --> 00:52:11,592
and coming inside that tent...

1219
00:52:11,712 --> 00:52:12,552
We got a little bit of coffee

1220
00:52:12,671 --> 00:52:14,511
and a whole lot of
questions for you.

1221
00:52:15,507 --> 00:52:17,087
If we're gonna be
honest here,

1222
00:52:17,217 --> 00:52:19,007
I was really looking forward
to putting some distance

1223
00:52:19,136 --> 00:52:21,216
between me and this town.

1224
00:52:21,347 --> 00:52:23,557
I get it. I get it.

1225
00:52:23,682 --> 00:52:26,022
You're like "who's this
powerful muckety-muck

1226
00:52:26,143 --> 00:52:27,273
trying to cramp my style,

1227
00:52:27,394 --> 00:52:29,444
when all I wanna do
is try on lipstick,

1228
00:52:29,563 --> 00:52:31,573
and chase guys,
and get as far as I can

1229
00:52:31,690 --> 00:52:33,730
from those gosh-darn
flesh-eaters."

1230
00:52:33,859 --> 00:52:34,729
Am I right?

1231
00:52:34,860 --> 00:52:37,200
- If I say "yes,"
will you let me go?

1232
00:52:37,321 --> 00:52:39,781
- Let me put it this way.

1233
00:52:46,872 --> 00:52:49,832
That's a no.

1234
00:52:49,958 --> 00:52:52,748
<i>N'</i>

1235
00:52:57,841 --> 00:53:00,641
- hey, I got some
John cougar mellencamp.

1236
00:53:00,761 --> 00:53:02,391
That always used
to cheer you up.

1237
00:53:02,513 --> 00:53:04,523
- It's just John mellencamp
now, dad.

1238
00:53:04,640 --> 00:53:08,230
And I haven't listened to him
on purpose in twenty years.

1239
00:53:08,352 --> 00:53:11,772
- Son, I liked Stacy.

1240
00:53:11,897 --> 00:53:13,817
Although I'm not sure
that she was the girl

1241
00:53:13,941 --> 00:53:16,231
your mother would have
wanted you to marry...

1242
00:53:16,360 --> 00:53:19,910
I am sorry she got
her brains eaten.

1243
00:53:20,030 --> 00:53:21,240
- Don't do this, dad.

1244
00:53:21,365 --> 00:53:23,115
- Do what?
I'm just being real here.

1245
00:53:23,242 --> 00:53:24,952
- I'm not ready
to be cool with you.

1246
00:53:25,077 --> 00:53:26,287
- Oh, good.

1247
00:53:26,412 --> 00:53:30,422
You think I wanted
any of this, huh?

1248
00:53:30,541 --> 00:53:33,041
Look at Chaz back there.

1249
00:53:33,168 --> 00:53:34,918
When he turns,

1250
00:53:35,045 --> 00:53:38,005
who do you think's gonna
have to put him down?

1251
00:53:38,966 --> 00:53:40,756
For all of his faults
i loved that boy

1252
00:53:40,884 --> 00:53:43,224
like he was my own son.

1253
00:53:44,555 --> 00:53:45,755
- What do you mean?

1254
00:53:45,889 --> 00:53:47,639
- Well, Chaz was adopted.

1255
00:53:47,766 --> 00:53:49,426
You knew that, right?

1256
00:53:49,560 --> 00:53:50,980
- Son of a bitch.
He was adopted?

1257
00:53:51,103 --> 00:53:52,153
- Bottom line is,

1258
00:53:52,271 --> 00:53:53,611
you and i
have to stay positive

1259
00:53:53,731 --> 00:53:54,861
and remember how
fortunate we are

1260
00:53:54,982 --> 00:53:56,442
to be in the governor's
good graces.

1261
00:53:56,567 --> 00:53:57,727
- Fortunate?
- Yes.

1262
00:53:57,860 --> 00:53:59,820
- If you weren't so deep into
the governor's "good graces,"

1263
00:53:59,945 --> 00:54:01,565
we wouldn't be in this mess.

1264
00:54:01,697 --> 00:54:04,367
- Well, we're almost out of it,
okay?

1265
00:54:06,702 --> 00:54:09,502
Ow. God-

1266
00:54:10,330 --> 00:54:12,120
buy a girl a drink first,
will ya?

1267
00:54:12,249 --> 00:54:14,169
- I'm sorry about
that business there.

1268
00:54:14,293 --> 00:54:15,043
Sincerely.

1269
00:54:15,169 --> 00:54:16,709
- I'm not infected.

1270
00:54:16,837 --> 00:54:18,837
I wasn't bitten.
- I know, Deb.

1271
00:54:18,964 --> 00:54:19,804
I know.

1272
00:54:19,923 --> 00:54:22,553
We just have protocols
we have to follow.

1273
00:54:22,676 --> 00:54:24,926
- You guys aren't real
military, are you?

1274
00:54:25,053 --> 00:54:26,603
- What is "real"?

1275
00:54:26,722 --> 00:54:30,102
Is "real" like a construct
of our own subconscious?

1276
00:54:30,225 --> 00:54:32,765
Or... is this "real"?

1277
00:54:32,895 --> 00:54:34,685
Is it "real"?

1278
00:54:34,813 --> 00:54:36,403
Are any of us "real"?
- Yeah.

1279
00:54:36,523 --> 00:54:38,153
The rest of us are real.

1280
00:54:38,275 --> 00:54:39,685
- Alright, we're
a private security firm,

1281
00:54:39,818 --> 00:54:40,988
hired to handle this situation.

1282
00:54:41,111 --> 00:54:43,531
- Whoa! Well, you guys
are doing a bang-up job!

1283
00:54:43,655 --> 00:54:45,655
- Thank you.
- I'm being sarcastic.

1284
00:54:45,783 --> 00:54:47,913
What are you gonna do now, kill me?
- Kill you?

1285
00:54:48,035 --> 00:54:49,785
Deb!
That hurts me!

1286
00:54:49,912 --> 00:54:52,832
Come on.
I am a father, alright?

1287
00:54:52,956 --> 00:54:54,366
Look.
Look at these...

1288
00:54:54,500 --> 00:54:56,670
Look at these little...
Two little boys.

1289
00:54:56,794 --> 00:54:57,844
Those are my kids.

1290
00:54:57,961 --> 00:54:59,881
They are adorable, right?
- Yeah.

1291
00:55:00,005 --> 00:55:01,125
- Now could I go back

1292
00:55:01,256 --> 00:55:03,086
and look at these little
angels in their eyes

1293
00:55:03,217 --> 00:55:04,467
with murder on my brain?

1294
00:55:04,593 --> 00:55:06,893
I don't think so, Deb.

1295
00:55:07,012 --> 00:55:07,972
Nope.

1296
00:55:08,096 --> 00:55:10,966
Your test was negative.
You are free to go.

1297
00:55:11,099 --> 00:55:12,309
- Oh.

1298
00:55:12,434 --> 00:55:14,274
Awesomesauce!

1299
00:55:14,478 --> 00:55:16,058
Okay, great.

1300
00:55:16,188 --> 00:55:18,188
Um...
Oh, if you could just, uh,

1301
00:55:18,315 --> 00:55:21,105
get rid of that road block,
I'll be on my way.

1302
00:55:21,235 --> 00:55:22,945
Oh, sorry.

1303
00:55:23,070 --> 00:55:24,950
I might have been a
little confusing there.

1304
00:55:25,072 --> 00:55:26,742
You're free to go back.

1305
00:55:26,865 --> 00:55:27,985
- Wait, I'm sorry. "Back"?

1306
00:55:28,116 --> 00:55:29,736
- Yeah.
Back to where you came from.

1307
00:55:29,868 --> 00:55:31,238
You can't ever leave that town

1308
00:55:31,370 --> 00:55:33,250
on kind of a "forever"
type basis.

1309
00:55:33,372 --> 00:55:34,502
- Forever?

1310
00:55:34,623 --> 00:55:38,543
So, you're just gonna wall
us all in with those things?

1311
00:55:38,669 --> 00:55:40,339
That's a fate worse than death!

1312
00:55:40,462 --> 00:55:42,922
You gonna tell that
to your two lame-o kids?

1313
00:55:43,048 --> 00:55:45,128
- They're four and six, Deb.

1314
00:55:45,259 --> 00:55:46,969
They wouldn't understand
the moral complexity

1315
00:55:47,094 --> 00:55:48,184
of that situation.

1316
00:55:48,303 --> 00:55:49,853
- Portland may be a small town,

1317
00:55:49,972 --> 00:55:52,222
but people are gonna
notice if we disappear.

1318
00:55:52,349 --> 00:55:54,559
- The official story
is radiation leak.

1319
00:55:54,685 --> 00:55:56,685
I don't think people are
gonna be champing at the bit

1320
00:55:56,812 --> 00:55:58,902
to go check it out for
themselves, believe you me.

1321
00:55:59,022 --> 00:56:01,152
- You're not gonna
get away with this.

1322
00:56:01,275 --> 00:56:02,725
There...

1323
00:56:02,860 --> 00:56:04,150
People-
people are gonna talk.

1324
00:56:04,278 --> 00:56:06,318
There's- there's social media.
There's...

1325
00:56:06,446 --> 00:56:08,906
There's like, twerking.
Myface.

1326
00:56:09,032 --> 00:56:10,622
- I don't think you've
noticed but...

1327
00:56:10,742 --> 00:56:12,122
The Internet's shut down

1328
00:56:12,244 --> 00:56:13,334
and cell phones.

1329
00:56:13,453 --> 00:56:15,713
Deb, you would've had a better
chance of getting out of here

1330
00:56:15,831 --> 00:56:16,831
if you were infected.

1331
00:56:16,957 --> 00:56:18,997
They're looking for case
studies out there right now,

1332
00:56:19,126 --> 00:56:21,626
trying to figure out
how to stop this thing.

1333
00:56:21,753 --> 00:56:23,423
- Wait! Wait!

1334
00:56:23,547 --> 00:56:24,667
I know frank waverly.

1335
00:56:24,798 --> 00:56:26,628
The governor is
sending him a helicopter

1336
00:56:26,758 --> 00:56:28,128
and I'm supposed to be on it.

1337
00:56:28,260 --> 00:56:29,680
- You know frank waverly?

1338
00:56:29,803 --> 00:56:31,353
- Yeah.

1339
00:56:31,471 --> 00:56:34,931
Yeah, I do.

1340
00:56:36,310 --> 00:56:39,060
- The rendezvous point
is right up ahead here.

1341
00:56:39,187 --> 00:56:40,227
Throw a blanket
over your brother.

1342
00:56:40,355 --> 00:56:42,565
We don't want to
scare anybody.

1343
00:56:46,361 --> 00:56:47,701
- Oh god.
He looks terrible.

1344
00:56:47,821 --> 00:56:50,701
- Oh jeeze.
- God.

1345
00:56:55,913 --> 00:56:57,543
Whoa.
Deb's car!

1346
00:56:57,664 --> 00:56:59,624
She's here!
I hope she's okay.

1347
00:56:59,750 --> 00:57:01,590
- Was that girl ever okay?

1348
00:57:01,710 --> 00:57:03,710
Now let me do the talking.

1349
00:57:03,879 --> 00:57:06,339
- Some say shooting a gun
is like an orgasm,

1350
00:57:06,465 --> 00:57:08,795
that must be why it's harder
for women to shoot gun-

1351
00:57:08,926 --> 00:57:10,426
- what the hell
is going on here?!

1352
00:57:10,552 --> 00:57:12,682
- Oh. Well, if it isn't
don Juan DeMarco.

1353
00:57:12,804 --> 00:57:14,514
- No. No, that wasn't
what it sounded like.

1354
00:57:14,640 --> 00:57:16,560
- Cop a squat here,
one direction.

1355
00:57:16,683 --> 00:57:19,353
- I have very classic,
masculine features, sir.

1356
00:57:20,312 --> 00:57:21,562
- Why is she restrained?

1357
00:57:21,688 --> 00:57:23,358
- Ah.
You must be frank waverly.

1358
00:57:23,482 --> 00:57:25,362
- And you must be fond
of digging ditches.

1359
00:57:25,484 --> 00:57:26,364
Because that's what
you're gonna be doing

1360
00:57:26,485 --> 00:57:28,025
if I don't get some
goddamn answers.

1361
00:57:28,153 --> 00:57:28,993
Now, you know the
governor is sending-

1362
00:57:29,112 --> 00:57:31,782
- ls sending a helicopter.
Yeah. I know.

1363
00:57:31,907 --> 00:57:33,117
- Hello, frank.

1364
00:57:33,241 --> 00:57:36,081
I thought I owed it to you
to do this face to face.

1365
00:57:36,203 --> 00:57:37,543
You're not going anywhere.

1366
00:57:37,663 --> 00:57:40,123
- Governor!
Why?

1367
00:57:40,248 --> 00:57:41,618
- We screwed the pooch, frank.

1368
00:57:41,750 --> 00:57:43,210
Well, you did.

1369
00:57:43,335 --> 00:57:45,085
At least that's how
history is gonna show it.

1370
00:57:45,212 --> 00:57:47,212
- I have volumes
of documentation.

1371
00:57:47,339 --> 00:57:49,669
This whole thing
was on your demand!

1372
00:57:49,800 --> 00:57:51,090
- No. My people
are at your home

1373
00:57:51,218 --> 00:57:52,468
and your office right now.

1374
00:57:52,594 --> 00:57:54,804
I don't think documentation
is gonna be much of a problem.

1375
00:57:54,930 --> 00:57:56,470
- Well, you self-serving
son of a-

1376
00:57:56,598 --> 00:57:58,808
uh!

1377
00:58:05,273 --> 00:58:07,023
Let the young ones go.

1378
00:58:07,150 --> 00:58:08,690
They had no part in this.

1379
00:58:08,819 --> 00:58:11,029
- I wish I could, frank.

1380
00:58:11,154 --> 00:58:11,954
Colonel Newton?

1381
00:58:12,072 --> 00:58:15,202
I think you saw these three
try to rush the border.

1382
00:58:15,325 --> 00:58:18,485
I think you had to use some
extreme measures to stop them.

1383
00:58:18,620 --> 00:58:20,370
And I think you succeeded.

1384
00:58:20,497 --> 00:58:22,117
- Sir.

1385
00:58:22,749 --> 00:58:24,709
- Goodbye, frank.

1386
00:58:24,876 --> 00:58:26,036
- Wait.

1387
00:58:26,169 --> 00:58:28,209
My dad has more than
enough motivation

1388
00:58:28,338 --> 00:58:29,298
to keep quiet.

1389
00:58:29,423 --> 00:58:30,923
And I'm his son.
- So?

1390
00:58:31,049 --> 00:58:33,589
- So, the only wild card
here is her.

1391
00:58:33,719 --> 00:58:34,639
She's a reporter.

1392
00:58:34,761 --> 00:58:36,351
Wait. I'm not a reporter.

1393
00:58:36,471 --> 00:58:38,261
I mean, I would like
to be a reporter,

1394
00:58:38,390 --> 00:58:40,930
I'm trying to be a reporter-
- she films everything.

1395
00:58:41,059 --> 00:58:42,639
She's documented
this whole disaster

1396
00:58:42,769 --> 00:58:44,649
with this tiny little
hidden camera.

1397
00:58:44,771 --> 00:58:46,941
Somebody's gonna find
that footage one day.

1398
00:58:47,065 --> 00:58:49,185
Wouldn't you like to get
your hands on it right now?

1399
00:58:49,317 --> 00:58:51,987
- I patted her down myself,
i did not find a camera.

1400
00:58:52,112 --> 00:58:53,612
- Deb, just give it up.

1401
00:58:53,739 --> 00:58:55,619
They're gonna search
Otis eventually.

1402
00:58:55,741 --> 00:58:56,911
- Otis!

1403
00:58:57,034 --> 00:58:58,164
That's her car.

1404
00:58:58,285 --> 00:58:59,945
The footage is in her car!
Let's go!

1405
00:59:00,078 --> 00:59:02,038
You, with me!

1406
00:59:02,622 --> 00:59:04,462
The car!

1407
00:59:05,167 --> 00:59:07,917
I've got the glove box.
Dekker, you pop the hood.

1408
00:59:08,045 --> 00:59:09,045
- Try the trunk!

1409
00:59:09,171 --> 00:59:12,721
- No!
Not the trunk.

1410
00:59:12,924 --> 00:59:13,934
- Pop it.

1411
00:59:14,051 --> 00:59:15,801
- Uh, governor?
Sir?!

1412
00:59:15,927 --> 00:59:17,717
Mr. governor...

1413
00:59:17,846 --> 00:59:19,346
- What the- damn thing.

1414
00:59:24,519 --> 00:59:27,309
- What-? Holy shi-
oh man, oh man.

1415
00:59:27,439 --> 00:59:29,649
Get that, get that,
get that-

1416
00:59:29,775 --> 00:59:31,435
- ah.
- Uh.

1417
00:59:31,693 --> 00:59:34,783
Hey, man.
That was an accident.

1418
00:59:34,905 --> 00:59:36,155
That was a mistake, man.

1419
00:59:36,281 --> 00:59:37,781
Don't do it.
Put your gun down.

1420
00:59:37,908 --> 00:59:39,118
I didn't mean to shoot him.

1421
00:59:39,242 --> 00:59:40,412
Come on,
we know each other.

1422
00:59:40,535 --> 00:59:41,735
That was just a big mist-

1423
00:59:41,870 --> 00:59:43,580
"ah!

1424
00:59:43,705 --> 00:59:45,285
- Oh, this is all my fault.

1425
00:59:46,583 --> 00:59:47,713
- It's customary to say
something like,

1426
00:59:47,834 --> 00:59:49,344
"no no, no, no, no,
don't beat yourself up,"

1427
00:59:49,461 --> 00:59:50,341
words to that effect.

1428
00:59:50,462 --> 00:59:52,512
- Don't be too hard-
- never mind.

1429
00:59:52,631 --> 00:59:54,131
It really is my fault.

1430
00:59:54,257 --> 00:59:56,967
But I'm going to make it right,
for the two of you.

1431
00:59:57,094 --> 00:59:58,854
- What are you talking about?
- Frank?

1432
00:59:58,970 --> 01:00:00,930
- Ooh, I'm bleeding out!
Bleeding out!

1433
01:00:05,268 --> 01:00:06,938
- Come on!

1434
01:00:10,816 --> 01:00:12,106
- Ruby! No!

1435
01:00:12,234 --> 01:00:14,494
- Huh?

1436
01:00:14,903 --> 01:00:15,743
- Go. Go.

1437
01:00:15,862 --> 01:00:16,952
Lets go!
- Okay.

1438
01:00:17,072 --> 01:00:19,202
- Dad!

1439
01:00:19,324 --> 01:00:20,124
- Ryan.

1440
01:00:20,242 --> 01:00:22,332
Ryan, I shoulda been
there more for you

1441
01:00:22,452 --> 01:00:23,452
when you were growing up.

1442
01:00:23,578 --> 01:00:25,118
I could've helped you
be a little more rugged.

1443
01:00:25,247 --> 01:00:26,327
- Why are you
talking like that?

1444
01:00:26,456 --> 01:00:28,206
You're coming with us!

1445
01:00:28,333 --> 01:00:29,963
Like this?

1446
01:00:30,085 --> 01:00:31,625
I'm gone, son.

1447
01:00:31,753 --> 01:00:34,963
Bit by a zombie
in a god-awful sweater.

1448
01:00:35,090 --> 01:00:35,970
Now listen up.

1449
01:00:36,091 --> 01:00:38,051
You stay with that girl Deb.
Alright?

1450
01:00:38,176 --> 01:00:41,096
She's good for you.
She's got moxie.

1451
01:00:41,221 --> 01:00:42,721
- Head back into Portland
and stay alive

1452
01:00:42,848 --> 01:00:43,638
till this blows over.

1453
01:00:43,765 --> 01:00:44,925
I'm gonna buy you some time.

1454
01:00:45,058 --> 01:00:47,478
Go take care of her.
Go on!

1455
01:00:47,602 --> 01:00:48,852
Go!

1456
01:00:49,020 --> 01:00:49,770
Go!

1457
01:00:49,896 --> 01:00:52,726
<i>Ii</i>

1458
01:00:55,819 --> 01:00:56,949
alright, come on!

1459
01:00:57,070 --> 01:00:59,070
End it for me, you pissants!

1460
01:01:06,997 --> 01:01:10,247
My dad.

1461
01:01:10,375 --> 01:01:13,625
Chaz. Stacy.

1462
01:01:14,254 --> 01:01:16,804
I can't believe
they're all gone.

1463
01:01:16,923 --> 01:01:19,973
Nobody left to tell me
what to think,

1464
01:01:20,093 --> 01:01:23,143
or what to say...

1465
01:01:23,263 --> 01:01:26,273
It's kind of scary, actually.

1466
01:01:30,687 --> 01:01:33,227
- That time my family
was up on the roof?

1467
01:01:33,356 --> 01:01:35,776
That forth of July?
And saw my dad?

1468
01:01:35,901 --> 01:01:37,991
- Yeah?

1469
01:01:38,111 --> 01:01:41,361
- He wasn't fixing
the barbecue.

1470
01:01:41,489 --> 01:01:45,329
He was in my
neighbor's backyard,

1471
01:01:45,452 --> 01:01:48,162
with no pants.

1472
01:01:49,331 --> 01:01:53,831
He was exposing himself
to their family dog.

1473
01:01:54,169 --> 01:01:56,339
- Whoa.

1474
01:01:56,463 --> 01:01:59,923
- Apparently, he'd been
doing it for months.

1475
01:02:00,258 --> 01:02:02,638
Basset hound.

1476
01:02:04,387 --> 01:02:07,007
He moved out after that.

1477
01:02:08,892 --> 01:02:11,852
I've never told
that story to anyone.

1478
01:02:15,482 --> 01:02:18,782
- We're never gonna get
out of here, are we?

1479
01:02:18,902 --> 01:02:20,992
- Does not look like it.

1480
01:02:21,112 --> 01:02:23,242
- All the roads will be
blocked just like that one.

1481
01:02:23,365 --> 01:02:24,775
They'll be looking
for us especially.

1482
01:02:24,908 --> 01:02:26,658
- Hmm.
On the bright side:

1483
01:02:26,785 --> 01:02:29,495
No more lines at the dmv.

1484
01:02:29,955 --> 01:02:31,615
- Yeah.

1485
01:02:31,748 --> 01:02:33,458
I bet some of those workers
would be more lively

1486
01:02:33,583 --> 01:02:35,253
as zombies.

1487
01:02:35,377 --> 01:02:39,877
Mm. Organ donor.

1488
01:02:40,090 --> 01:02:41,510
Delicious!

1489
01:02:41,633 --> 01:02:43,643
What was that?

1490
01:02:43,760 --> 01:02:45,300
Is that-?
- That's my zombie.

1491
01:02:45,428 --> 01:02:47,178
- I didn't know zombies sounded like that.
- Yeah.

1492
01:02:47,305 --> 01:02:49,175
You've never heard them, right?
- No, I haven't heard them talk.

1493
01:02:52,143 --> 01:02:54,943
Oh my god.

1494
01:02:56,273 --> 01:03:00,493
Only you could make me
laugh at a time like this.

1495
01:03:00,610 --> 01:03:04,200
That's mostly what I remember
about the night that we hung out.

1496
01:03:04,322 --> 01:03:08,452
Was you just cracking me up.

1497
01:03:10,745 --> 01:03:12,825
No one thinks I'm funny.

1498
01:03:12,956 --> 01:03:17,456
They just think I'm strange
or awkward or...

1499
01:03:18,086 --> 01:03:21,166
I say the wrong thing.

1500
01:03:22,090 --> 01:03:25,380
I'm so dumb to think that i
could be an on-air anchor.

1501
01:03:25,510 --> 01:03:27,600
- I think you'd make
a great news anchor.

1502
01:03:27,721 --> 01:03:29,851
Plus, I always wanted to
slap the tan off right off of

1503
01:03:29,973 --> 01:03:32,523
Brent masters' face.

1504
01:03:38,398 --> 01:03:40,568
- Oh.

1505
01:03:43,945 --> 01:03:45,985
- Oh, my god, Ryan...

1506
01:03:46,114 --> 01:03:49,164
Ryan, we have to go.
Now.

1507
01:03:51,828 --> 01:03:53,498
- Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Where's the fire?

1508
01:03:53,621 --> 01:03:55,871
- You mentioning
Brent masters back there...

1509
01:03:55,999 --> 01:03:57,959
If the outside world could see
what's actually going on here,

1510
01:03:58,084 --> 01:03:59,594
the government would
have to do something.

1511
01:03:59,711 --> 01:04:01,671
The people would demand it.
We'd have a chance.

1512
01:04:01,796 --> 01:04:02,506
- Yeah, but how?

1513
01:04:02,630 --> 01:04:04,510
All communications
have been shut down:

1514
01:04:04,632 --> 01:04:06,932
Phone, cable, Internet,
cell towers...

1515
01:04:07,052 --> 01:04:08,972
- Not satellite.

1516
01:04:19,606 --> 01:04:21,186
Get the lead out!

1517
01:04:22,025 --> 01:04:23,855
Our signal goes out to most
of the outlying counties,

1518
01:04:23,985 --> 01:04:25,815
sometimes as far as Canada.

1519
01:04:25,945 --> 01:04:26,855
- Where is everyone, though?

1520
01:04:26,988 --> 01:04:28,028
I don't know.

1521
01:04:28,156 --> 01:04:29,196
I mean, it would be
a skeleton crew

1522
01:04:29,324 --> 01:04:30,914
because of the holiday, but...

1523
01:04:34,037 --> 01:04:36,537
The morning staff briefing.

1524
01:04:36,664 --> 01:04:39,044
Livelier than usual.

1525
01:04:39,167 --> 01:04:41,537
- Hey, that's misti Raines,
weather.

1526
01:04:41,669 --> 01:04:43,049
Still smiling.

1527
01:04:43,171 --> 01:04:44,631
- She's got so much
Botox in her face

1528
01:04:44,756 --> 01:04:47,046
I don't know if she's
ever going to decompose.

1529
01:04:47,175 --> 01:04:49,255
- And that's Jerry Chavez,
sports.

1530
01:04:49,386 --> 01:04:53,386
- Oh, and he brought his
wife's famous cupcakes.

1531
01:04:53,765 --> 01:04:55,925
Oh, Brent masters.

1532
01:04:56,059 --> 01:04:58,689
Even as a zombie,
his hair is camera perfect!

1533
01:04:58,812 --> 01:04:59,652
Oh, is he coming?

1534
01:04:59,771 --> 01:05:01,111
- Urn, yeah.

1535
01:05:01,231 --> 01:05:02,901
- He was always mean to me,

1536
01:05:03,024 --> 01:05:05,574
but I'm gonna do him proud.

1537
01:05:07,570 --> 01:05:09,950
- Okay.
Let's- let's go.

1538
01:05:12,826 --> 01:05:13,906
Control room's in here.

1539
01:05:14,035 --> 01:05:15,575
We could-
oh.

1540
01:05:24,546 --> 01:05:26,836
- We have to turn
the signal back on.

1541
01:05:26,965 --> 01:05:28,715
- Wow! You really know
what you're doing.

1542
01:05:28,842 --> 01:05:30,932
- Yeah, I have my moments,

1543
01:05:31,052 --> 01:05:32,892
despite my track record.

1544
01:05:33,012 --> 01:05:33,552
- Here?
What's this do?

1545
01:05:33,680 --> 01:05:35,600
- Okay, don't touch that.

1546
01:05:48,361 --> 01:05:49,201
And that's it,

1547
01:05:49,320 --> 01:05:52,450
you just lock the camera off
on the anchor desk.

1548
01:05:52,574 --> 01:05:54,454
- On you, right?

1549
01:05:54,576 --> 01:05:59,076
- Uh, yeah.
Yeah, I guess.

1550
01:05:59,789 --> 01:06:01,079
- What's wrong?

1551
01:06:01,207 --> 01:06:04,587
- Uh, I'm just, uh,

1552
01:06:04,711 --> 01:06:07,461
so used to working the camera.

1553
01:06:07,589 --> 01:06:10,719
Maybe I should do that, and
you can do the announcement.

1554
01:06:10,842 --> 01:06:12,762
- Deb? Listen to me.
- What?

1555
01:06:12,886 --> 01:06:15,596
- Not only is this an
insanely perfect opportunity

1556
01:06:15,722 --> 01:06:17,182
for you to live your dream,

1557
01:06:17,307 --> 01:06:20,637
but people need to know
what's happening here.

1558
01:06:20,768 --> 01:06:22,688
- What about you,
Ryan waverly?

1559
01:06:22,812 --> 01:06:24,732
Are you living your dream?

1560
01:06:24,856 --> 01:06:26,896
- I want to be
a personal life coach.

1561
01:06:27,025 --> 01:06:28,735
So yes.

1562
01:06:29,194 --> 01:06:31,324
- Well played, sir.

1563
01:06:33,823 --> 01:06:35,573
Okay.

1564
01:06:37,952 --> 01:06:38,952
You know,
I'm gonna go clean up.

1565
01:06:39,078 --> 01:06:42,038
I can't make my broadcast debut
with a scrunchie in my hair.

1566
01:06:42,165 --> 01:06:42,915
- Okay. Alright.
- Okay.

1567
01:06:43,041 --> 01:06:44,081
- I'll be here.
Hurry.

1568
01:06:44,209 --> 01:06:45,999
Okay.

1569
01:06:59,432 --> 01:07:02,312
- Deb?
Are you all-

1570
01:07:02,435 --> 01:07:04,435
right?

1571
01:07:07,023 --> 01:07:08,573
- What do you think?

1572
01:07:08,691 --> 01:07:10,861
Is this okay for camera?

1573
01:07:10,985 --> 01:07:15,485
- It's, urn...
You're perfect.

1574
01:07:16,866 --> 01:07:19,406
- I raided the
weather girl's locker.

1575
01:07:24,666 --> 01:07:26,786
Are you ready?

1576
01:07:30,213 --> 01:07:31,173
- Yeah.

1577
01:07:31,297 --> 01:07:33,967
- Okay, this is how i
always see them do it.

1578
01:07:34,092 --> 01:07:35,382
In five,

1579
01:07:35,510 --> 01:07:36,340
four,

1580
01:07:36,469 --> 01:07:38,049
three...

1581
01:07:40,181 --> 01:07:43,101
- Good afternoon,
I'm Deb clarington.

1582
01:07:43,226 --> 01:07:45,226
It was an independence day
for the ages,

1583
01:07:45,353 --> 01:07:47,483
as a bizarre disease
ran rampant through this

1584
01:07:47,605 --> 01:07:50,815
normally peaceful seaside
community yesterday.

1585
01:07:50,942 --> 01:07:52,652
<i>Homes were destroyed.</i>

1586
01:07:52,777 --> 01:07:54,897
<i>Countless family members lost...</i>

1587
01:07:55,029 --> 01:07:56,859
<i>And thousands left to wander,</i>

1588
01:07:56,990 --> 01:07:59,200
<i>in search of the only thing
that would quench their now</i>

1589
01:07:59,325 --> 01:08:01,115
<i>insatiable appetites:</i>

1590
01:08:01,244 --> 01:08:02,834
<i>Live human flesh.</i>

1591
01:08:07,083 --> 01:08:08,713
Unbelievable?

1592
01:08:08,835 --> 01:08:09,785
Maybe.

1593
01:08:09,919 --> 01:08:12,299
It certainly would be easier
to swallow the coverup story,

1594
01:08:12,422 --> 01:08:14,222
about a radiation leak.

1595
01:08:14,340 --> 01:08:16,970
Indeed for all we know,
there are only two souls left

1596
01:08:17,093 --> 01:08:20,053
uninfected in this
once happy Hamlet.

1597
01:08:20,179 --> 01:08:23,429
Is it worth sending people in
to save a fledgling newscaster

1598
01:08:23,558 --> 01:08:25,478
and her cameraman life coach?

1599
01:08:25,602 --> 01:08:29,902
Two days ago,
i might've said no.

1600
01:08:30,023 --> 01:08:32,153
But then another story broke.

1601
01:08:32,275 --> 01:08:34,645
This one easier to
believe for most...

1602
01:08:34,777 --> 01:08:36,237
But for this reporter,

1603
01:08:36,362 --> 01:08:38,782
it's the headline
of the decade:

1604
01:08:38,906 --> 01:08:42,866
"Woman falls in love."

1605
01:08:42,994 --> 01:08:46,124
<i>Sure, it happens every day,
all over the world</i>

1606
01:08:46,247 --> 01:08:47,827
<i>but not to me.</i>

1607
01:08:47,957 --> 01:08:50,377
Maybe a crisis like we have
here speeds things up a bit,

1608
01:08:50,501 --> 01:08:55,001
but I don't think it can
create something from nothing.

1609
01:08:55,465 --> 01:08:59,925
And even though this person may
not return my affections

1610
01:09:00,053 --> 01:09:04,353
and I'm really not
fishing here.

1611
01:09:04,474 --> 01:09:05,854
It's okay.

1612
01:09:05,975 --> 01:09:10,475
I'll always know, deep down,
that he felt something, too.

1613
01:09:11,397 --> 01:09:14,187
So, I'm Deb clarington,
saying "yes,

1614
01:09:14,317 --> 01:09:16,527
I think these two
are worth saving."

1615
01:09:16,653 --> 01:09:18,953
So if you're watching out there,
please tell the authorities

1616
01:09:19,072 --> 01:09:21,032
to send help to
Portland, Maine-

1617
01:09:23,159 --> 01:09:23,989
<i>" nm!</i>

1618
01:09:24,118 --> 01:09:26,328
- No

1619
01:09:28,790 --> 01:09:30,750
Deb.
Deb, I'm here.

1620
01:09:30,875 --> 01:09:32,165
- Hey,

1621
01:09:32,293 --> 01:09:33,173
- listen to me:

1622
01:09:33,294 --> 01:09:35,714
That's the greatest newscast
anyone's ever seen.

1623
01:09:35,838 --> 01:09:39,168
Seriously, you'll probably
win a peabody or something.

1624
01:09:39,300 --> 01:09:41,590
- Am I...

1625
01:09:41,719 --> 01:09:44,179
Better than Brent masters?

1626
01:09:44,305 --> 01:09:46,595
- Crazy better.

1627
01:09:46,974 --> 01:09:49,234
- Wait. "Crazy," like,
i was like a crazy person?

1628
01:09:49,352 --> 01:09:50,522
- Shh.

1629
01:09:52,647 --> 01:09:55,727
- Can we get, like,
two seconds?!

1630
01:10:01,906 --> 01:10:04,026
I don't know how long
i have left.

1631
01:10:04,158 --> 01:10:06,078
- Yeah, I guess we've never
seen anyone turn before.

1632
01:10:13,793 --> 01:10:15,503
Listen, Deb...
- Yeah?

1633
01:10:15,628 --> 01:10:17,168
- If you want me to...

1634
01:10:17,296 --> 01:10:19,506
I could, um-

1635
01:10:19,757 --> 01:10:21,927
I mean, if you want.

1636
01:10:22,051 --> 01:10:25,011
- You would shoot me
in the head?

1637
01:10:25,138 --> 01:10:26,508
- Well, i-

1638
01:10:26,639 --> 01:10:28,019
what? I thought-

1639
01:10:28,141 --> 01:10:30,391
I guess it'd only be
one tap now.

1640
01:10:30,518 --> 01:10:32,308
It was your idea first!

1641
01:10:32,437 --> 01:10:33,147
<i>- Tonight's top story,</i>

1642
01:10:33,271 --> 01:10:36,021
a bizarre twist regarding
a reported radiation leak

1643
01:10:36,149 --> 01:10:37,279
in Portland, Maine.

1644
01:10:37,400 --> 01:10:39,070
Now a broadcast
apparently originating

1645
01:10:39,193 --> 01:10:41,323
from within the
quarantine zone

1646
01:10:41,446 --> 01:10:43,526
<i>went viral on the Internet
just hours ago</i>

1647
01:10:43,656 --> 01:10:45,406
<i>prompting a lot of
people to wonder,</i>

1648
01:10:45,533 --> 01:10:47,333
<i>what exactly
is going on here?</i>

1649
01:10:47,452 --> 01:10:49,912
- <i>I'm Deb
clarington, saying "yes,</i>

1650
01:10:50,037 --> 01:10:52,207
<i>I think these two
are worth saving."</i>

1651
01:10:52,331 --> 01:10:53,751
<i>So if you're watching
out there,</i>

1652
01:10:53,875 --> 01:10:55,455
<i>please tell the authorities
to send help</i>

1653
01:10:55,585 --> 01:10:56,995
<i>to Portland, Maine-</i>

1654
01:10:57,128 --> 01:10:58,588
<i>ah! Ah!</i>

1655
01:10:58,713 --> 01:11:00,303
No! <i>No!</i>

1656
01:11:00,423 --> 01:11:03,053
<i>- Nine-one-one
emergency centers in several states</i>

1657
01:11:03,176 --> 01:11:04,796
<i>report being flooded with calls</i>

1658
01:11:04,927 --> 01:11:07,047
<i>in response to the
alleged zombie attack.</i>

1659
01:11:07,180 --> 01:11:09,350
<i>Some are calling to ask
if the video is real,</i>

1660
01:11:09,474 --> 01:11:11,934
while many others are
concerned for the safety

1661
01:11:12,059 --> 01:11:12,929
of these two people.

1662
01:11:13,060 --> 01:11:14,770
- <i>A background check
on Deb clarington</i>

1663
01:11:14,896 --> 01:11:17,436
<i>revealed that is in fact
employed at the station</i>

1664
01:11:17,565 --> 01:11:18,975
<i>from which she's broadcasting,</i>

1665
01:11:19,108 --> 01:11:21,738
<i>but as a camera person
not an anchor.</i>

1666
01:11:21,861 --> 01:11:22,861
<i>Prior to that,</i>

1667
01:11:22,987 --> 01:11:24,737
<i>she was employed
at a lady footlocker</i>

1668
01:11:24,864 --> 01:11:26,164
<i>until she was let go</i>

1669
01:11:26,282 --> 01:11:28,952
<i>for staging an unauthorized
sock puppet production</i>

1670
01:11:29,076 --> 01:11:30,616
<i>of "Jesus Christ superstar."</i>

1671
01:11:30,745 --> 01:11:32,995
- <i>A lot has been
said about videos going viral,</i>

1672
01:11:33,122 --> 01:11:35,712
<i>but for Deb clarington
it's more like an outbreak.</i>

1673
01:11:35,833 --> 01:11:38,963
The hits on her zombie attack
clip is impressive enough,

1674
01:11:39,086 --> 01:11:41,546
but it's the number of her
viewers weighing in

1675
01:11:41,672 --> 01:11:43,552
<i>and creating their
own online videos</i>

1676
01:11:43,674 --> 01:11:44,974
<i>that's truly staggering.</i>

1677
01:11:45,092 --> 01:11:46,342
- As the chairman of the
"zombie outbreak

1678
01:11:46,469 --> 01:11:47,719
authentication society"

1679
01:11:47,845 --> 01:11:51,845
I happen to know zombies,
and that is not real.

1680
01:11:51,974 --> 01:11:52,894
It's too tan.

1681
01:11:53,017 --> 01:11:54,937
- I can tell bad effects
work from a mile away

1682
01:11:55,061 --> 01:11:57,101
and this is the real deal, man.
It's not bogus.

1683
01:11:57,230 --> 01:11:59,650
- Okay,
that girl is my new hero.

1684
01:11:59,774 --> 01:12:01,444
What is going on right now?

1685
01:12:01,567 --> 01:12:03,107
- Deb, if you're still
alive out there.

1686
01:12:03,236 --> 01:12:05,486
I want you to know...
You are so hot!

1687
01:12:05,613 --> 01:12:07,453
- They say they're in Maine?

1688
01:12:07,573 --> 01:12:09,073
That's not even a real state.

1689
01:12:09,200 --> 01:12:11,580
- Deb honey,
encouraged by your example,

1690
01:12:11,702 --> 01:12:14,502
I told a co-worker that
he is the love of my life.

1691
01:12:14,622 --> 01:12:17,082
He's my boss,
and happily married...

1692
01:12:17,208 --> 01:12:19,748
So we both agreed it best
that I look for anothe rjob.

1693
01:12:19,877 --> 01:12:21,797
- Originally, I planned
to debunk this vid

1694
01:12:21,921 --> 01:12:23,091
using basic physics.

1695
01:12:23,214 --> 01:12:25,804
Then, I thought about recreating
part of it with some friends,

1696
01:12:25,925 --> 01:12:28,755
but those idiots actually
think this thing is real.

1697
01:12:28,886 --> 01:12:31,596
- <i>Is the video real, professor,
in your own opinion?</i>

1698
01:12:31,722 --> 01:12:34,602
- <i>I believe that the woman
in the video believes it's real.</i>

1699
01:12:34,725 --> 01:12:35,925
Now, how sure are you?

1700
01:12:36,060 --> 01:12:37,690
- <i>Well, she exhibits
all five signs</i>

1701
01:12:37,812 --> 01:12:39,152
of a person who is
speaking the truth.

1702
01:12:39,272 --> 01:12:41,732
I expound more on this,
of course, in my book,

1703
01:12:41,858 --> 01:12:43,068
"the five signs of truth."

1704
01:12:43,192 --> 01:12:44,032
Which is available
today on my-

1705
01:12:44,151 --> 01:12:46,281
- what the fudge?

1706
01:12:46,404 --> 01:12:47,994
- As night falls
on Portland, Maine,

1707
01:12:48,114 --> 01:12:49,954
more questions than answers.

1708
01:12:50,074 --> 01:12:53,244
<i>Repeated calls to the governor's
office from this station</i>

1709
01:12:53,369 --> 01:12:54,949
and many others
around the country

1710
01:12:55,079 --> 01:12:56,619
have gone unanswered,

1711
01:12:56,747 --> 01:12:59,287
<i>but we will not rest
until we get to the bottom</i>

1712
01:12:59,417 --> 01:13:01,127
<i>of this situation.</i>

1713
01:13:01,252 --> 01:13:03,592
<i>And now how about this
hilarious cat video?</i>

1714
01:13:03,713 --> 01:13:05,423
♪ Na-na, na-na,
na, na ♪

1715
01:13:05,548 --> 01:13:07,128
- Yes! Deb!

1716
01:13:07,258 --> 01:13:08,258
You did it!

1717
01:13:08,384 --> 01:13:10,724
They'll have to investigate now.
They'll just have to!

1718
01:13:10,845 --> 01:13:13,595
- Well, I'm really
happy for you, Ryan.

1719
01:13:13,723 --> 01:13:14,723
But let's get real here.

1720
01:13:14,849 --> 01:13:16,429
We both know,
in a few minutes,

1721
01:13:16,559 --> 01:13:18,519
I'm gonna be trying
to eat your brains.

1722
01:13:18,644 --> 01:13:20,104
- Well, the joke's
on you, then,

1723
01:13:20,229 --> 01:13:21,439
because it'll be a small meal.

1724
01:13:21,564 --> 01:13:22,654
- Really.

1725
01:13:22,773 --> 01:13:25,783
You're starting to look
so delicious right now.

1726
01:13:25,902 --> 01:13:26,992
- And you're starting
to look like you've

1727
01:13:27,111 --> 01:13:28,781
lost a lot of blood.

1728
01:13:28,905 --> 01:13:30,615
- Does it matter at this point?

1729
01:13:30,740 --> 01:13:34,290
- It matters to me.
Where's the first aid kit?

1730
01:13:34,410 --> 01:13:36,290
- I think it's in
the break room,

1731
01:13:36,412 --> 01:13:38,662
but it's too far unless
we go through the studio.

1732
01:13:38,789 --> 01:13:40,079
- Then let's go.

1733
01:13:40,207 --> 01:13:41,287
- Okay-

1734
01:13:46,964 --> 01:13:48,384
- no.
No, no, no.

1735
01:13:48,507 --> 01:13:51,297
- Whoa, whoa.
I have an idea.

1736
01:13:53,596 --> 01:13:56,426
Hear me, undead!

1737
01:13:56,557 --> 01:13:59,887
This man is a friend to us,
he means us no-

1738
01:14:00,019 --> 01:14:01,979
oh, god.
I regret that!

1739
01:14:06,108 --> 01:14:07,608
Ah!

1740
01:14:12,615 --> 01:14:14,325
- Oh, that was awesome!

1741
01:14:18,496 --> 01:14:19,616
- Ladies first!

1742
01:14:23,334 --> 01:14:25,174
- Oh, wrong way.

1743
01:14:25,586 --> 01:14:26,036
Come on!

1744
01:14:26,170 --> 01:14:29,210
<i>Ii</i>

1745
01:14:31,258 --> 01:14:33,008
- stairs!

1746
01:14:41,769 --> 01:14:44,519
<i>N'</i>

1747
01:14:47,942 --> 01:14:48,982
- go.

1748
01:14:59,412 --> 01:15:01,832
Deb! Deb, come on.
We gotta get going.

1749
01:15:01,956 --> 01:15:02,916
- No.
- Get up.

1750
01:15:03,040 --> 01:15:06,420
- Ryan, it's the end
of the line for me.

1751
01:15:06,544 --> 01:15:08,344
- Okay, <i>l'll-</i> I'll carry you.
Come on.

1752
01:15:08,462 --> 01:15:09,842
- Where?

1753
01:15:11,257 --> 01:15:14,387
Listen,
we've had a good run

1754
01:15:14,510 --> 01:15:17,470
but I'm starting
to get hungry.

1755
01:15:17,596 --> 01:15:20,676
I can really see myself
going to town on your liver...

1756
01:15:20,808 --> 01:15:22,388
Your spleen...

1757
01:15:22,518 --> 01:15:24,808
Maybe a couple pancreas'.

1758
01:15:24,937 --> 01:15:26,647
- Your pancreas
is actually singular.

1759
01:15:26,772 --> 01:15:28,322
- Oh, well, thank you,
bill nye.

1760
01:15:28,441 --> 01:15:29,481
Whoa.

1761
01:15:29,608 --> 01:15:32,358
Hey, hey.
Stay with me, stay with me.

1762
01:15:32,737 --> 01:15:35,277
- Ryan, what are you
still doing here?

1763
01:15:35,406 --> 01:15:37,826
You could outrun
misti Raines easily,

1764
01:15:37,950 --> 01:15:40,040
and now you're bound
to end up like one of us

1765
01:15:40,161 --> 01:15:42,331
or die a horrible death.

1766
01:15:42,455 --> 01:15:43,575
- I'd rather take that risk

1767
01:15:43,706 --> 01:15:45,956
than be without the
people I care about.

1768
01:15:46,083 --> 01:15:48,463
- The people you...?

1769
01:15:49,128 --> 01:15:50,588
Oh.
You mean me.

1770
01:15:50,713 --> 01:15:51,633
Duh.

1771
01:15:51,756 --> 01:15:54,716
I'm the people you care about.

1772
01:15:55,384 --> 01:15:57,054
- I really wish we'd gotten
to watch the fireworks

1773
01:15:57,178 --> 01:15:58,508
together on your roof.

1774
01:16:00,139 --> 01:16:02,679
That would've been awesome.

1775
01:16:03,309 --> 01:16:05,599
But now I'm starving.

1776
01:16:05,728 --> 01:16:06,808
- Okay. Hey-

1777
01:16:06,937 --> 01:16:08,857
here.

1778
01:16:08,981 --> 01:16:11,401
Do what you gotta do.

1779
01:16:12,109 --> 01:16:14,399
- Thank you.

1780
01:16:21,327 --> 01:16:22,827
- Got 'em!

1781
01:16:24,455 --> 01:16:26,785
Hey. What's up?
How ya doin'?

1782
01:16:28,375 --> 01:16:29,325
Deb, right?

1783
01:16:29,460 --> 01:16:31,750
We are huge fans.

1784
01:16:32,922 --> 01:16:33,802
You're good to go!

1785
01:16:33,923 --> 01:16:35,593
- Oh.
Wait, what?

1786
01:16:35,716 --> 01:16:36,926
- You have a bite wound there.

1787
01:16:37,051 --> 01:16:39,261
Just keep it clean and
change that bandage daily.

1788
01:16:39,386 --> 01:16:43,676
- No, she was bitten
by a zombie.

1789
01:16:44,850 --> 01:16:46,690
- You're talking about what
those people back there have?

1790
01:16:46,811 --> 01:16:47,561
- Yeah.

1791
01:16:47,686 --> 01:16:48,976
- You can't get that
from biting.

1792
01:16:49,105 --> 01:16:52,725
- Yeah, that is really an
archaic way of thinking.

1793
01:16:52,858 --> 01:16:55,238
I mean, a biter would have
to have an open wound

1794
01:16:55,361 --> 01:16:57,401
in his mouth,
literally gushing blood.

1795
01:16:57,530 --> 01:16:59,740
- Even then it's, like,
a thousand to one.

1796
01:16:59,865 --> 01:17:01,575
What are you,
some kind of zombi-phobe?

1797
01:17:01,700 --> 01:17:02,660
- No, no.

1798
01:17:02,785 --> 01:17:05,905
A lot of my best
friends are zombies.

1799
01:17:06,038 --> 01:17:07,908
Probably.

1800
01:17:08,040 --> 01:17:09,370
We're just messing with you.

1801
01:17:09,500 --> 01:17:10,420
- These things are hideous.

1802
01:17:10,543 --> 01:17:11,673
- They're filthy.

1803
01:17:11,794 --> 01:17:13,594
But you can't get it
from a bite so...

1804
01:17:13,712 --> 01:17:16,012
- Turns out it was in
the water or something!

1805
01:17:16,132 --> 01:17:17,972
- Who knew?

1806
01:17:23,389 --> 01:17:26,019
- You said you wanted
to eat me.

1807
01:17:26,142 --> 01:17:27,312
- Yeah, that's embarrassing.

1808
01:17:27,434 --> 01:17:28,734
- You talked about
internal organs,

1809
01:17:28,853 --> 01:17:29,983
I mean,
it got really specific.

1810
01:17:30,104 --> 01:17:31,944
- Well, I was delirious, okay?

1811
01:17:32,064 --> 01:17:34,694
- You sure you
don't want to now?

1812
01:17:34,817 --> 01:17:36,897
- You said some things, too.

1813
01:17:37,027 --> 01:17:38,897
- I know I did.

1814
01:17:39,029 --> 01:17:43,529
- So, it's safe to assume
that you like me.

1815
01:17:47,204 --> 01:17:50,714
- Hey, how did you guys
figure out this virus so fast?

1816
01:17:50,833 --> 01:17:53,173
- Oh, we had a little help.

1817
01:17:53,294 --> 01:17:54,344
- Dad?!

1818
01:17:54,461 --> 01:17:55,751
- Ha-ha, Ryan!

1819
01:17:55,880 --> 01:17:58,880
Hey, Deb!
What a night, huh?

1820
01:17:59,216 --> 01:18:01,926
Turns out,
biting doesn't turn you.

1821
01:18:02,052 --> 01:18:03,432
- Yeah, we heard.

1822
01:18:03,554 --> 01:18:04,934
But how did you
escape those troops?

1823
01:18:05,055 --> 01:18:07,965
- Well, like I said.
Biting doesn't turn you.

1824
01:18:08,100 --> 01:18:10,730
Come on!
What're you waiting for?

1825
01:18:10,853 --> 01:18:13,523
<i>I'm already bit,
you dumb pansies.</i>

1826
01:18:13,647 --> 01:18:15,897
<i>- Drop the weapon!
- Come on, finish me!</i>

1827
01:18:16,025 --> 01:18:17,355
- Ow.
My head is killing me!

1828
01:18:17,484 --> 01:18:19,614
- <i>We are approaching.
Put it down!</i>

1829
01:18:19,737 --> 01:18:21,607
<i>- Make me, you dumbass!</i>

1830
01:18:24,241 --> 01:18:26,621
- Dale! Chowder!
Mad dog!

1831
01:18:26,744 --> 01:18:28,004
Chaz.

1832
01:18:28,120 --> 01:18:29,080
Jazzy chazzy.

1833
01:18:29,205 --> 01:18:31,825
That's my pop.
Be careful with him, okay?

1834
01:18:31,957 --> 01:18:33,747
- Son!
- Pops, we play billiards.

1835
01:18:33,876 --> 01:18:35,416
Be cool, that's my pops!

1836
01:18:35,544 --> 01:18:36,504
- That's my boy!

1837
01:18:36,629 --> 01:18:38,549
- Yep.
Came to save you.

1838
01:18:38,672 --> 01:18:40,592
I wonder where Ryan is?

1839
01:18:40,716 --> 01:18:42,426
Off with his new
girlfriend probably.

1840
01:18:42,551 --> 01:18:43,301
I don't see him.

1841
01:18:46,555 --> 01:18:48,845
What's up, douche?

1842
01:18:48,974 --> 01:18:51,394
- We're alive
and we're under arrest!

1843
01:18:51,518 --> 01:18:54,228
- That's my boy.
- Yeah!

1844
01:18:54,730 --> 01:18:56,270
- Now come on...

1845
01:18:56,398 --> 01:18:58,318
Hurry up and kiss the girl.

1846
01:18:58,442 --> 01:19:00,692
- Oh.
- I got a date with the feds.

1847
01:19:00,819 --> 01:19:02,069
The town's overrun
with zombies so,

1848
01:19:02,196 --> 01:19:04,236
they're gonna be bombing
the hell out of Portland soon.

1849
01:19:04,365 --> 01:19:05,365
- Whoo!

1850
01:19:07,451 --> 01:19:09,451
Come on.

1851
01:19:11,080 --> 01:19:13,580
- I'm sorry
i tried to eat you.

1852
01:19:13,707 --> 01:19:15,457
You don't have to kiss me.

1853
01:19:15,584 --> 01:19:18,214
- No, I was going to anyway.

1854
01:19:23,467 --> 01:19:24,087
- Whoa!

1855
01:19:24,218 --> 01:19:26,388
Whoa!

1856
01:19:26,512 --> 01:19:29,222
- Whoa!
- Whoa!

1857
01:19:41,485 --> 01:19:45,155
<i>♪ No matter what you do</i>

1858
01:19:45,281 --> 01:19:48,451
<i>♪ I'll keep my heart with you</i>

1859
01:19:48,575 --> 01:19:53,075
<i>♪ I'll wait through the war</i>

1860
01:19:57,376 --> 01:20:01,416
<i>♪ I try to push away</i>

1861
01:20:01,547 --> 01:20:04,467
<i>♪ though you know I'll stay</i>

1862
01:20:04,591 --> 01:20:09,091
<i>♪ and wait through the war</i>

1863
01:20:12,599 --> 01:20:17,099
<i>♪ with the days marching on</i>

1864
01:20:18,564 --> 01:20:23,064
<i>♪ I stumble,
going through the paces</i>

1865
01:20:28,574 --> 01:20:33,074
<i>♪ like a bark to a bone</i>

1866
01:20:34,663 --> 01:20:39,163
<i>♪ I cried out,
seeing all the faces</i>

1867
01:20:45,341 --> 01:20:49,261
<i>♪ no matter what you do</i>

1868
01:20:49,386 --> 01:20:52,426
<i>♪ I'll keep my heart with you</i>

1869
01:20:52,556 --> 01:20:57,056
<i>♪ I'll wait through the war</i>

1870
01:21:01,482 --> 01:21:05,442
<i>♪ I try to push away</i>

1871
01:21:05,569 --> 01:21:08,489
<i>♪ though you know I'll stay</i>

1872
01:21:08,614 --> 01:21:13,114
<i>♪ and wait through the war</i>

1873
01:21:17,206 --> 01:21:21,036
<i>♪ the night turns into day</i>

1874
01:21:22,544 --> 01:21:27,044
<i>♪ I'm hiding,
shadows on the riverside</i>

1875
01:21:32,679 --> 01:21:37,179
<i>♪ with the years wiped away</i>

1876
01:21:38,560 --> 01:21:43,060
<i>♪ I stayed with
you would call a suicide</i>

1877
01:21:49,279 --> 01:21:53,199
<i>♪ no matter what you do</i>

1878
01:21:53,325 --> 01:21:56,365
<i>♪ I'll keep my heart with you</i>

1879
01:21:56,495 --> 01:22:00,995
<i>♪ I'll wait through the war</i>

1880
01:22:05,462 --> 01:22:09,382
<i>♪ I try to push away</i>

1881
01:22:09,508 --> 01:22:12,388
<i>♪ though you know I'll stay</i>

1882
01:22:12,511 --> 01:22:17,011
<i>♪ and wait through the war</i>

1883
01:22:21,728 --> 01:22:25,228
<i>♪ no matter what you do</i>

1884
01:22:25,357 --> 01:22:28,397
<i>♪ I'll keep my heart with you</i>

1885
01:22:28,527 --> 01:22:33,027
<i>♪ I'll wait through the war</i>

1886
01:22:37,494 --> 01:22:41,414
<i>♪ I try to push away</i>

1887
01:22:41,540 --> 01:22:44,460
<i>♪ though you know I'll stay</i>

1888
01:22:44,585 --> 01:22:49,085
<i>♪ and wait through the war e</i>

1889
01:23:01,018 --> 01:23:05,228
<i>n'</i>

1890
01:23:05,355 --> 01:23:08,935
<i>♪ one night stand with no intentions</i>

1891
01:23:12,237 --> 01:23:13,397
<i>♪ wake up in the mornin'</i>

1892
01:23:13,530 --> 01:23:15,950
<i>♪ oh man,
we're gonna lose our heads</i>

1893
01:23:19,495 --> 01:23:22,825
<i>♪ don't drink the water, son</i>

1894
01:23:22,956 --> 01:23:26,206
<i>♪ it's infecting everyone</i>

1895
01:23:26,335 --> 01:23:29,585
<i>♪ it's the night,
it's the night of the living Deb</i>

1896
01:23:33,425 --> 01:23:37,255
<i>♪ let me hitch a ride
in your big brown car</i>

1897
01:23:40,641 --> 01:23:44,141
<i>♪ runnin' 'em down
like we're playing pinball</i>

1898
01:23:47,105 --> 01:23:50,435
<i>♪ don't drink the water, son</i>

1899
01:23:50,567 --> 01:23:53,857
<i>♪ it's infecting everyone</i>

1900
01:23:53,987 --> 01:23:57,367
<i>♪ it's the night,
it's the night of the living Deb</i>

1901
01:23:59,034 --> 01:24:00,794
<i>♪ hear what I said?</i>

1902
01:24:00,911 --> 01:24:04,211
<i>♪ Now, your daddy
he may be rich</i>

1903
01:24:04,331 --> 01:24:07,671
<i>♪ he's a mean ol'
son of a bitch</i>

1904
01:24:07,793 --> 01:24:11,093
<i>♪ it's the night,
it's the night of the living Deb</i>

1905
01:24:12,965 --> 01:24:15,005
<i>♪ night of the livin' Deb</i>

1906
01:24:16,260 --> 01:24:18,100
<i>♪ night of the livin' Deb</i>

1907
01:24:19,596 --> 01:24:21,846
<i>♪ night of the livin' Deb</i>

1908
01:24:23,100 --> 01:24:24,890
<i>♪ night of the livin'</i>