WEBVTT FILE

1
00:00:20.729 --> 00:00:24.729
<i>Ii</i>

2
00:00:35.869 --> 00:00:40.329
<i>♪ now, I'm walking
down the street...</i>

3
00:00:53.845 --> 00:00:54.505
- Hey, dad.

4
00:00:54.638 --> 00:00:58.598
- Man,
eff this wanna be holiday.

5
00:00:58.725 --> 00:01:00.095
- What?!
The fourth of July?

6
00:01:00.227 --> 00:01:01.727
You hate the fourth of July?
- Yes.

7
00:01:01.853 --> 00:01:03.813
- It's America's birthday.
You don't like birthdays?

8
00:01:03.939 --> 00:01:06.479
- After the bottle rocket
smoke clears,

9
00:01:06.608 --> 00:01:07.818
day after tomorrow,

10
00:01:07.943 --> 00:01:10.823
all these mouth-breathers
are gonna be in my store

11
00:01:10.946 --> 00:01:12.606
buying half-off
Christmas ornaments.

12
00:01:12.739 --> 00:01:14.989
You know it
and I know it.

13
00:01:15.117 --> 00:01:17.327
- I don't know if I know it.
- I don't know.

14
00:01:17.452 --> 00:01:18.542
What are you looking at?

15
00:01:18.662 --> 00:01:20.662
Oh. Wow.

16
00:01:20.789 --> 00:01:23.329
Fifty shades of hey.

17
00:01:23.458 --> 00:01:25.498
Go talk to him.

18
00:01:25.627 --> 00:01:27.877
- No. He's...
He's busy.

19
00:01:28.005 --> 00:01:30.545
- He should be
gettin' busy with you.

20
00:01:30.674 --> 00:01:32.634
I can't go over there.

21
00:01:32.759 --> 00:01:35.719
What if he-
what if he slaps me?

22
00:01:35.846 --> 00:01:37.256
- What?
What if-?

23
00:01:37.389 --> 00:01:39.679
What if instead of writing the
declaration of independence,

24
00:01:39.808 --> 00:01:41.808
George Washington wrote
the declaration of

25
00:01:41.935 --> 00:01:45.015
"suffering in silence
with your raging ladyboner?"

26
00:01:45.147 --> 00:01:47.357
- Okay.
- What if instead of freeing the slaves,

27
00:01:47.482 --> 00:01:49.902
Abraham Lincoln said
"ye shall not pass!"

28
00:01:50.027 --> 00:01:51.237
- Okay, well that's Gandalf,

29
00:01:51.361 --> 00:01:53.451
but I know where
you're going.

30
00:01:53.572 --> 00:01:54.322
- Go talk to him.

31
00:01:54.448 --> 00:01:55.368
- I can't go over
to that guy,

32
00:01:55.490 --> 00:01:57.990
he's like an angel that's
come down from outer space.

33
00:01:58.118 --> 00:02:00.368
- Yeah,
so ask him to probe you.

34
00:02:00.495 --> 00:02:02.575
I can't- I can't do it.

35
00:02:02.706 --> 00:02:05.536
- Yes you can, and look,
mister pretty's off the phone.

36
00:02:05.667 --> 00:02:08.337
Come on.
Do it.

37
00:02:08.462 --> 00:02:09.172
- How many of those
have you had?

38
00:02:09.296 --> 00:02:11.166
You seem drunk.
- I'm drunk.

39
00:02:11.298 --> 00:02:11.838
Deb.

40
00:02:11.965 --> 00:02:13.125
I haven't had dinner.

41
00:02:13.258 --> 00:02:15.218
Deb.Deb.Deb.Deb!

42
00:02:15.344 --> 00:02:19.014
Deb!Deb!Deb!Deb!Deb!

43
00:02:19.139 --> 00:02:20.389
- Okay.
- Deb. Deb.

44
00:02:20.515 --> 00:02:21.465
- Here goes nothing!

45
00:02:21.600 --> 00:02:22.230
- Do it.

46
00:02:22.351 --> 00:02:24.981
Deb.Deb.Deb.Deb-

47
00:02:25.103 --> 00:02:27.113
- oh, sorry.
- Deb. Deb. Deb.

48
00:02:27.230 --> 00:02:30.730
Do it.
Now. Go.

49
00:02:30.859 --> 00:02:32.989
See ya.

50
00:02:34.196 --> 00:02:35.816
Oh, fuck me.

51
00:02:58.762 --> 00:03:01.142
Ugh.

52
00:03:10.023 --> 00:03:11.903
Oh.

53
00:03:19.866 --> 00:03:22.616
What the...?

54
00:03:23.537 --> 00:03:25.407
<i>I dunno.</i>

55
00:03:25.539 --> 00:03:28.579
<i>I noticed she had red hair,
and that's about it.</i>

56
00:03:28.709 --> 00:03:31.459
<i>Stacy and I had a fight,
then this... person</i>

57
00:03:31.586 --> 00:03:35.376
<i>and I started drinking
and talking...</i>

58
00:03:35.507 --> 00:03:36.877
<i>And drinking...</i>

59
00:03:37.008 --> 00:03:39.588
<i>And the rest
is kind of a blur.</i>

60
00:03:39.720 --> 00:03:41.720
<i>No, now she's here.
She's still here. Yeah.</i>

61
00:03:41.847 --> 00:03:45.017
<i>And I don't know how
to get rid of her.</i>

62
00:03:46.852 --> 00:03:49.312
<i>No, I can't force her out.</i>

63
00:03:51.565 --> 00:03:53.475
<i>I'm not gonna pull
the fire alarm.</i>

64
00:03:55.193 --> 00:03:56.113
- White Russian
and a whiskey neat.

65
00:03:56.236 --> 00:03:59.026
- Thanks, Billy.
- Oh... my gosh.

66
00:03:59.156 --> 00:04:01.316
You know my drink?
Whoa.

67
00:04:01.450 --> 00:04:05.910
Well, here's to the long,
straight piece in Tetris.

68
00:04:06.037 --> 00:04:08.117
Clink!

69
00:04:08.248 --> 00:04:09.578
- So, uh...

70
00:04:09.708 --> 00:04:11.208
<i>- I'm upset, too, frank.</i>

71
00:04:11.334 --> 00:04:13.884
- What are you doing
in this gin joint?

72
00:04:14.004 --> 00:04:16.214
- <i>Let me talk some
sense into him.</i>

73
00:04:16.339 --> 00:04:17.419
Uh-huh.

74
00:04:17.549 --> 00:04:20.219
He looks drunk and
ready to explain himself.

75
00:04:20.343 --> 00:04:21.343
Yeah.
We'll get back to you.

76
00:04:21.470 --> 00:04:22.600
Okay.

77
00:04:22.721 --> 00:04:24.761
Ryan, that was your dad.

78
00:04:24.890 --> 00:04:25.720
Please explain to me

79
00:04:25.849 --> 00:04:27.349
why you told him to take
that job and shove it?

80
00:04:27.476 --> 00:04:29.266
- No, I never said-
- he says you did.

81
00:04:29.394 --> 00:04:31.314
- I told him that I'd
thought long and hard

82
00:04:31.438 --> 00:04:32.558
but I had to turn him down.

83
00:04:32.689 --> 00:04:34.189
I was gonna tell you tonight.

84
00:04:34.316 --> 00:04:36.226
- I am your fiancé, alright?

85
00:04:36.359 --> 00:04:39.609
You tell me before you make any
stupid decisions and-

86
00:04:39.738 --> 00:04:43.198
what exactly can
we do for you, fraggle?

87
00:04:43.325 --> 00:04:45.075
- I'm sorry. I-

88
00:04:45.202 --> 00:04:46.752
this gentleman
bought me a drink,

89
00:04:46.870 --> 00:04:48.080
and we were having
a conversation-

90
00:04:48.205 --> 00:04:49.995
- are you drinking
his white Russian?

91
00:04:50.123 --> 00:04:52.423
I told you that was
a girl's drink.

92
00:04:52.542 --> 00:04:54.592
- This is your drink?

93
00:04:54.711 --> 00:04:56.501
- Well, it was.

94
00:04:56.630 --> 00:04:58.840
- I'm sorry.
I drink them, too.

95
00:04:58.965 --> 00:05:01.085
I just thought you were
being amazingly intuitive.

96
00:05:01.218 --> 00:05:02.338
- Oh,
good for you sweetie,

97
00:05:02.469 --> 00:05:04.099
why don't you just take it
with our compliments?

98
00:05:04.221 --> 00:05:05.221
Alright?

99
00:05:05.347 --> 00:05:05.847
Billy!

100
00:05:05.972 --> 00:05:07.392
Another Russian
and bird over here.

101
00:05:07.516 --> 00:05:08.136
- <i>Coming up!</i>

102
00:05:08.266 --> 00:05:10.636
- Ryan, you need to
call your dad right now.

103
00:05:10.769 --> 00:05:11.769
You can still get this job-

104
00:05:11.895 --> 00:05:13.935
- Stacy, I'm not working
for my father's company.

105
00:05:14.064 --> 00:05:15.984
- We had this
all figured out.

106
00:05:16.107 --> 00:05:17.357
You and i
are gonna get married,

107
00:05:17.484 --> 00:05:19.864
your dad is gonna get old,
we're gonna take over.

108
00:05:19.986 --> 00:05:20.776
What is going on with you?

109
00:05:20.904 --> 00:05:22.864
Are you still into this
"helping people" thing?

110
00:05:22.989 --> 00:05:24.619
- I am done talking about this.
Okay?

111
00:05:24.741 --> 00:05:26.951
Like she said, we were
having a conversation?

112
00:05:27.077 --> 00:05:28.037
- Really?

113
00:05:28.161 --> 00:05:29.501
What's her name then?

114
00:05:29.621 --> 00:05:31.251
- Estelle.
- Deborah.

115
00:05:31.373 --> 00:05:34.213
- What?!
You- you know my name?

116
00:05:34.334 --> 00:05:34.924
- No, I...

117
00:05:35.043 --> 00:05:37.383
You looked like a Deborah,
so obviously I was wrong.

118
00:05:37.504 --> 00:05:39.174
- No,
my name is Deborah.

119
00:05:39.297 --> 00:05:40.457
You were right!

120
00:05:40.590 --> 00:05:41.340
I just said estelle

121
00:05:41.466 --> 00:05:43.086
because I wanted to get
you out of the doghouse.

122
00:05:43.218 --> 00:05:44.928
- How would that
have helped me?

123
00:05:45.053 --> 00:05:46.053
- You know what?

124
00:05:46.179 --> 00:05:48.009
You two enjoy each other.

125
00:05:48.139 --> 00:05:50.309
Happy independence day,
because we're through.

126
00:05:50.433 --> 00:05:51.683
- Stacy, this doesn't
have to mean-

127
00:05:51.810 --> 00:05:53.060
- yes, it does, Ryan!

128
00:05:53.186 --> 00:05:55.436
This is a package deal.

129
00:05:55.564 --> 00:05:59.404
So you can say
goodbye to these.

130
00:06:01.736 --> 00:06:04.486
- Trixie and mayberry.

131
00:06:05.365 --> 00:06:07.445
I love those cats.
- You'll see them again.

132
00:06:07.576 --> 00:06:09.906
She seems like a...

133
00:06:10.036 --> 00:06:12.656
Sweet girl.

134
00:06:13.957 --> 00:06:16.877
- <i>Kev, come on, focus.
Help me.</i>

135
00:06:17.002 --> 00:06:18.462
That is a solid move.

136
00:06:18.587 --> 00:06:20.957
No, man, I'm not gonna-
yeah, but that's your move.

137
00:06:21.089 --> 00:06:23.839
- So?
- Not everyone can pull that off!

138
00:06:23.967 --> 00:06:26.217
Kev, you're breaking up
or something.

139
00:06:26.344 --> 00:06:28.514
Go back to-

140
00:06:28.638 --> 00:06:29.598
kev, are you there?
- Ryan-

141
00:06:43.528 --> 00:06:45.278
excuse me?

142
00:06:45.405 --> 00:06:49.905
- Mmm, morning.

143
00:06:51.244 --> 00:06:52.704
I slept in, didn't I?

144
00:06:52.829 --> 00:06:55.119
- Yeah, you sure did.

145
00:06:55.248 --> 00:06:57.078
- So, what's on the agend'?

146
00:06:57.208 --> 00:06:57.828
Brunch?

147
00:06:57.959 --> 00:06:58.999
- Ah, no.

148
00:06:59.127 --> 00:07:00.917
- Ooh.
A black-coffee man.

149
00:07:01.046 --> 00:07:02.206
I like it.

150
00:07:02.339 --> 00:07:05.379
"L'm John Wayne,
i don't need no breakfast."

151
00:07:05.508 --> 00:07:09.258
- I actually already had my coffee but-
- oh.

152
00:07:09.387 --> 00:07:10.927
- Anyway, it's the 4th,

153
00:07:11.056 --> 00:07:14.056
so I'm gonna go spend
some time with my family.

154
00:07:14.184 --> 00:07:16.144
And maybe you
should too, right?

155
00:07:16.269 --> 00:07:19.609
- Oh my gosh!
I must look terrible but,

156
00:07:19.731 --> 00:07:22.361
so soon but I guess
i can meet your family-

157
00:07:22.484 --> 00:07:26.284
- no. No, I actually meant your family.
- Oh.

158
00:07:26.404 --> 00:07:29.164
- But either way,
i have to go right now, so-

159
00:07:29.282 --> 00:07:30.492
- okay, well just...

160
00:07:30.617 --> 00:07:33.997
Do what you gotta do,
Mr. Magoo.

161
00:07:34.120 --> 00:07:38.620
I've got a book
and I'll just stay here.

162
00:07:38.750 --> 00:07:39.960
I'll see you in a
couple of hours.

163
00:07:40.085 --> 00:07:42.835
- Oh, um...
Hey, uh, look,

164
00:07:42.963 --> 00:07:45.633
I don't exactly remember
what happened last night but-

165
00:07:45.757 --> 00:07:46.507
- oh.
Well, a-

166
00:07:46.633 --> 00:07:49.643
do you want the slow-motion
instant replay?

167
00:07:49.761 --> 00:07:50.431
- Oh, great.

168
00:07:50.553 --> 00:07:52.563
Okay, hey, that's a-
- oh, no.

169
00:07:52.681 --> 00:07:54.971
- That was a family heirloom.
But, uh...

170
00:07:55.100 --> 00:07:56.100
You know what?
Don't worry about it.

171
00:07:56.226 --> 00:07:58.436
Please, uh- please.

172
00:07:58.561 --> 00:08:02.361
- Okay, well...
As you wish.

173
00:08:02.482 --> 00:08:04.282
- Um...
Well, look,

174
00:08:04.401 --> 00:08:08.571
I think we can agree
that this was a mistake.

175
00:08:08.822 --> 00:08:09.992
- Oh! Yeah.

176
00:08:10.115 --> 00:08:12.365
Of course!
A mistake. What?

177
00:08:12.492 --> 00:08:14.542
I'm glad you said it
before I said it

178
00:08:14.661 --> 00:08:16.701
because I was gonna say it.

179
00:08:16.830 --> 00:08:19.120
There's a load: Off.

180
00:08:19.249 --> 00:08:21.379
- Great. Okay.
So we can leave.

181
00:08:21.501 --> 00:08:23.131
Now.
- Now?

182
00:08:23.253 --> 00:08:27.753
Yes. Now.
"Now" is even too late for me.

183
00:08:27.882 --> 00:08:30.222
Like, I wish we could
go in a time machine

184
00:08:30.343 --> 00:08:32.353
and go back five minutes,
and leave then.

185
00:08:32.470 --> 00:08:33.600
- But we don't.
We don't have that

186
00:08:33.722 --> 00:08:35.102
so we just have to walk.

187
00:08:35.223 --> 00:08:36.893
So here we go. - Where's a
delorean when you need one, right?

188
00:08:37.017 --> 00:08:38.347
- Okay-

189
00:08:38.476 --> 00:08:41.346
- yep.
Hello, mcfly!

190
00:08:41.479 --> 00:08:42.899
Anybody home?

191
00:08:43.398 --> 00:08:46.648
- Okay, there you go.
- Much obliged.

192
00:08:47.861 --> 00:08:50.741
- So, you know, if we run
into each other around town

193
00:08:50.864 --> 00:08:52.374
it doesn't need to be weird,
you know?

194
00:08:52.490 --> 00:08:54.240
We can just say "hello"
or wave-

195
00:08:54.367 --> 00:08:56.867
- what a nice morning.

196
00:08:56.995 --> 00:08:58.075
It's...

197
00:08:58.204 --> 00:09:00.294
Holidays are so peaceful,
don't you think?

198
00:09:00.415 --> 00:09:03.075
- I guess I never really-
- "listen my children

199
00:09:03.209 --> 00:09:04.539
and you will hear

200
00:09:04.669 --> 00:09:07.129
of the midnight ride
of Paul revere

201
00:09:07.255 --> 00:09:09.215
a voice in the darkness,

202
00:09:09.340 --> 00:09:10.630
a knock at the door

203
00:09:10.759 --> 00:09:15.139
and a word that will echo
forever more."

204
00:09:15.847 --> 00:09:18.557
- Wow.
That was actually nice.

205
00:09:18.683 --> 00:09:20.433
- Thank you.
- Have a good one.

206
00:09:20.560 --> 00:09:22.940
- Oh.
That's longfellow.

207
00:09:23.063 --> 00:09:24.903
He's from here.
Portland, Maine.

208
00:09:25.023 --> 00:09:26.653
- Yeah,
i know where we live.

209
00:09:26.775 --> 00:09:31.235
- I used to recite it
for my mom every forth.

210
00:09:31.362 --> 00:09:33.412
She's in a better place now...

211
00:09:33.531 --> 00:09:35.241
- Oh, I'm sorry.

212
00:09:35.366 --> 00:09:36.776
- ...Virginia beach.

213
00:09:36.910 --> 00:09:39.250
They have a lot of activities
for seniors there.

214
00:09:39.370 --> 00:09:40.120
<i>L</i> try to go,

215
00:09:40.246 --> 00:09:43.366
but I'm so busy with work
at the TV station.

216
00:09:43.500 --> 00:09:47.000
Hence,
alone for the holiday.

217
00:09:47.128 --> 00:09:48.708
- Okay, well...

218
00:09:48.838 --> 00:09:49.708
God bless...

219
00:09:49.839 --> 00:09:51.799
America!

220
00:09:51.925 --> 00:09:54.675
- Hey, god bless you!

221
00:09:56.596 --> 00:09:58.886
Whoever you are.

222
00:10:06.856 --> 00:10:07.896
<i>- Deb, it's rubes.</i>

223
00:10:08.024 --> 00:10:09.484
<i>Call me as soon
as you drag yourself</i>

224
00:10:09.609 --> 00:10:13.399
<i>out of that fine man's bed,
you complete whore.</i>

225
00:10:13.530 --> 00:10:16.030
<i>Did you ever know
that you're my hero?</i>

226
00:10:16.157 --> 00:10:17.827
<i>Great, somebody's
coming in the store,</i>

227
00:10:17.951 --> 00:10:20.541
<i>and they look drunk
and I feel like ass today.</i>

228
00:10:20.662 --> 00:10:24.002
<i>Hey! You
break it, you buy it, bucko-</i>

229
00:10:24.124 --> 00:10:26.794
<i>shit!
Ahh-</i>

230
00:10:34.425 --> 00:10:36.715
- <i>happy holidays,
you've reached yule mart,</i>

231
00:10:36.845 --> 00:10:38.715
<i>we'll be open
July 4th until noon,</i>

232
00:10:38.847 --> 00:10:39.927
<i>and all day on the 5th.</i>

233
00:10:40.056 --> 00:10:42.926
<i>You'll love our frankincense
and myrrh-chandise!</i>

234
00:10:43.059 --> 00:10:44.849
<i>Weep)
Get it?</i>

235
00:10:44.978 --> 00:10:47.728
- Hi, I don't know if
i should be your hero...

236
00:10:47.856 --> 00:10:51.316
Homeboy didn't want to see
me again after last night.

237
00:10:51.442 --> 00:10:52.532
L guess
in the light of day,

238
00:10:52.652 --> 00:10:56.112
I seemed like some
sort of monster.

239
00:10:56.239 --> 00:10:58.659
Rubes, you gotta tell me
what happened last night,

240
00:10:58.783 --> 00:11:00.373
because I don't
remember bupkis.

241
00:11:00.493 --> 00:11:03.003
Was I some sort of jackhole or something?
- Why won't she leave?

242
00:11:03.121 --> 00:11:05.961
Hello?

243
00:11:09.752 --> 00:11:12.382
Piece a caca phone.

244
00:11:13.882 --> 00:11:15.262
Really?!

245
00:11:47.749 --> 00:11:50.129
- Hello?

246
00:11:52.420 --> 00:11:54.130
Joe?

247
00:11:55.757 --> 00:11:57.377
Anybody?

248
00:11:57.717 --> 00:11:59.507
<i>" Nm!</i>

249
00:12:00.678 --> 00:12:01.718
Don't make me!

250
00:12:02.972 --> 00:12:04.892
- The parade's really
gone downhill this year.

251
00:12:05.016 --> 00:12:07.386
Come on.

252
00:12:10.355 --> 00:12:12.015
- Alright, Joe,

253
00:12:12.148 --> 00:12:16.148
I got a large casco bay
blend here.

254
00:12:16.277 --> 00:12:17.857
Joe?

255
00:12:18.446 --> 00:12:20.106
Alright.

256
00:12:20.240 --> 00:12:21.910
Oh, hey man.

257
00:12:22.033 --> 00:12:24.953
There you are.
What's going on?

258
00:12:25.078 --> 00:12:27.458
Dude,
why are you eating a foot?

259
00:12:31.417 --> 00:12:33.167
- Joe!

260
00:12:33.419 --> 00:12:34.749
Joe!

261
00:12:36.256 --> 00:12:39.126
- Oh god! Ah!

262
00:12:39.550 --> 00:12:41.340
- Ah! Whoa!
Oh my god!

263
00:12:43.429 --> 00:12:46.309
What is happening!
This is horrible!

264
00:12:46.432 --> 00:12:48.892
- ( -

265
00:13:02.407 --> 00:13:04.327
sorry, Joe!

266
00:13:22.677 --> 00:13:25.177
- Come on. Come on.
Come on!

267
00:13:25.305 --> 00:13:27.095
- Wait, wait
my place, my place.

268
00:13:27.223 --> 00:13:28.433
- Okay-

269
00:13:28.558 --> 00:13:29.598
- what is this?

270
00:13:29.726 --> 00:13:30.886
- Well, I've never
seen one before

271
00:13:31.019 --> 00:13:34.479
but it seems sort of
like a zombie apocalypse.

272
00:13:34.647 --> 00:13:37.187
- Oh, you know, at least
they're not the sprinter type.

273
00:13:37.317 --> 00:13:39.647
They're more of the old-school,
cerebral palsy variety.

274
00:13:39.777 --> 00:13:41.447
- Hey, that's Manny,
from up the street, okay?

275
00:13:41.571 --> 00:13:43.361
He really does have cp.

276
00:13:43.489 --> 00:13:45.659
- Oh, well I'm sorry.
I was just trying to-

277
00:13:45.783 --> 00:13:47.793
- whoa.
- Whoa.

278
00:13:49.370 --> 00:13:51.120
- Okay, some of them run!

279
00:13:53.166 --> 00:13:55.376
- Oh, sorry.

280
00:13:56.169 --> 00:13:57.709
- So, what are we gonna do?!
- I don't know,

281
00:13:57.837 --> 00:13:58.997
I don't have a whole
lot of experience

282
00:13:59.130 --> 00:14:00.880
with this type of thing!

283
00:14:01.007 --> 00:14:02.837
- Why are you
taking off your shoes?

284
00:14:02.967 --> 00:14:05.007
- Because it's filthy outside!

285
00:14:05.136 --> 00:14:09.136
- Okay,
okay, calm down.

286
00:14:09.265 --> 00:14:11.515
Okay.
We need information.

287
00:14:11.642 --> 00:14:14.022
We need to figure out
if it's effecting everyone.

288
00:14:14.145 --> 00:14:17.475
Okay. TV.

289
00:14:17.899 --> 00:14:20.109
Okay.

290
00:14:20.360 --> 00:14:21.820
Where's CNN?
- I don't have it.

291
00:14:21.944 --> 00:14:23.704
I got rid of cable
a couple months ago.

292
00:14:23.821 --> 00:14:25.661
- Oh, that's cool. I have
some friends that did that

293
00:14:25.782 --> 00:14:27.702
and it sounded so liberating...

294
00:14:27.825 --> 00:14:29.865
But actually not
helpful right now!

295
00:14:29.994 --> 00:14:32.834
- I still get the local stuff.

296
00:14:33.623 --> 00:14:35.373
- <i>The annual
event drew famished foodies</i>

297
00:14:35.500 --> 00:14:36.830
<i>from bangor to brunswick</i>

298
00:14:36.959 --> 00:14:39.419
<i>to support the fire department's
annual pancake breakfast...</i>

299
00:14:39.545 --> 00:14:40.995
- Good!
It hasn't spread across town.

300
00:14:41.130 --> 00:14:43.630
- No, not necessarily.
This is yesterday's broadcast.

301
00:14:43.758 --> 00:14:44.628
- Which you know

302
00:14:44.759 --> 00:14:46.639
because you were
running the camera.

303
00:14:46.761 --> 00:14:47.971
- Are you being
weirdly sarcastic,

304
00:14:48.096 --> 00:14:48.966
or how do you know that?

305
00:14:49.097 --> 00:14:51.427
- You told me last night that
you work at the news station,

306
00:14:51.557 --> 00:14:53.977
now why would they
rerun a news broadcast?

307
00:14:54.102 --> 00:14:56.022
- That's what I don't
understand.

308
00:14:56.145 --> 00:14:57.855
Radio.
Do you have one?

309
00:14:57.980 --> 00:15:00.360
- <i>Area, and wait for help.
Repeat message 5-b.</i>

310
00:15:00.483 --> 00:15:02.743
- Couldn't we have taken the radio
out of the- - shh! This is is.

311
00:15:02.860 --> 00:15:05.200
- <i>Stay in your
homes with the doors locked.</i>

312
00:15:05.321 --> 00:15:07.701
<i>The governor has declared
a state of emergency</i>

313
00:15:07.824 --> 00:15:09.624
<i>and alerted
the national guard.</i>

314
00:15:09.742 --> 00:15:12.662
<i>Symptoms of the ailment
include: Slurred speech,</i>

315
00:15:12.787 --> 00:15:15.407
<i>wild movement,
an appetite for human flesh,</i>

316
00:15:15.540 --> 00:15:18.380
<i>and
both slow and fast walking.</i>

317
00:15:18.501 --> 00:15:20.001
<i>If loved ones
display these traits,</i>

318
00:15:20.128 --> 00:15:22.588
<i>isolate them in a secure area
and wait for help...</i>

319
00:15:22.713 --> 00:15:25.673
- "Loved ones."
I gotta call Stacy!

320
00:15:26.300 --> 00:15:30.800
- Wait.
You guys broke up, right?

321
00:15:32.598 --> 00:15:35.058
- I think I left my phone
at the coffee shop.

322
00:15:35.184 --> 00:15:36.984
- You went to a coffee shop?

323
00:15:37.103 --> 00:15:39.943
I thought that you
already had your coffee?

324
00:15:40.064 --> 00:15:41.154
That's very interesting.

325
00:15:41.274 --> 00:15:42.444
- Can I use yours?

326
00:15:42.567 --> 00:15:46.317
- Oh, boy, I think that i
should conserve battery power.

327
00:15:46.446 --> 00:15:47.446
- Please.

328
00:15:49.198 --> 00:15:51.528
Okay.
Make it snappy-

329
00:15:51.659 --> 00:15:52.199
- wait, seriously?

330
00:15:52.326 --> 00:15:53.486
This is what you use
to call people?

331
00:15:53.619 --> 00:15:55.199
- Okay, listen, if you don't
want to use it, please just-

332
00:15:55.329 --> 00:15:59.789
- no, no, no, it's fine.
It's just, uh...

333
00:15:59.917 --> 00:16:01.997
- You don't know her number.
- No. I-

334
00:16:02.128 --> 00:16:03.668
shh! Alright?
I'm trying to think.

335
00:16:03.796 --> 00:16:04.916
- The prospects for
your relationship

336
00:16:05.047 --> 00:16:06.337
are not looking good.

337
00:16:06.466 --> 00:16:08.006
- I always just use
speed dial, alright?

338
00:16:08.134 --> 00:16:09.014
Everybody does that.

339
00:16:09.135 --> 00:16:10.675
- Listen,
no one is judging you.

340
00:16:10.803 --> 00:16:12.603
I'm just saying that when
i care about someone

341
00:16:12.722 --> 00:16:14.182
I commit their phone
number to memory.

342
00:16:14.307 --> 00:16:15.767
Like my morn.

343
00:16:15.892 --> 00:16:20.152
Oh shark, my mom!
Gimme-gimme!

344
00:16:20.271 --> 00:16:21.271
Shh.

345
00:16:26.986 --> 00:16:27.816
<i>- Hello!</i>

346
00:16:27.945 --> 00:16:29.565
- Mom!
Are there zombies there?

347
00:16:29.697 --> 00:16:31.907
- <i>Gotcha!
You've reached my voicemail.</i>

348
00:16:32.033 --> 00:16:33.083
<i>Please leave a message.</i>

349
00:16:33.201 --> 00:16:34.831
- Jesus, morn,
i hate this gag.

350
00:16:34.952 --> 00:16:37.372
- <i>Just kidding,
it's actually me.</i>

351
00:16:37.497 --> 00:16:40.167
- Oh, uh...
Mom, are you really there?

352
00:16:40.291 --> 00:16:41.711
- <i>Well, of course,
little Ms. Magoo.</i>

353
00:16:41.834 --> 00:16:43.754
<i>Happy 4th of July!</i>

354
00:16:43.878 --> 00:16:46.458
- Have you been
outside yet today?

355
00:16:46.589 --> 00:16:48.509
- <i>Why, yes, I was just down
at the pick n' save.</i>

356
00:16:48.633 --> 00:16:50.263
- And are there people
eating each other's flesh?

357
00:16:50.384 --> 00:16:52.724
- <i>I'm in Virginia beach, honey,
not Florida.</i>

358
00:16:52.845 --> 00:16:54.095
- Mom!
Listen to me.

359
00:16:54.222 --> 00:16:55.972
The people here are
infected with something.

360
00:16:56.098 --> 00:16:59.768
I'm trying to get down there,
but if I don't make it...

361
00:16:59.894 --> 00:17:01.444
Take care of yourself.

362
00:17:01.562 --> 00:17:03.062
- <i>Deb?</i>
- I love you.

363
00:17:03.189 --> 00:17:04.399
<i>- Are you there?
- Ma'?</i>

364
00:17:04.524 --> 00:17:06.614
- Can you hear me?

365
00:17:06.734 --> 00:17:09.194
- <i>You still using that janky old pho-</i>
- <i>dammit.</i>

366
00:17:18.412 --> 00:17:19.962
Mm.

367
00:17:22.917 --> 00:17:23.627
- Okay-

368
00:17:23.751 --> 00:17:25.961
let's take stock
of what we have and-

369
00:17:26.087 --> 00:17:28.667
oh!

370
00:17:29.048 --> 00:17:30.128
Board up the windows?

371
00:17:30.258 --> 00:17:32.298
Way ahead of you, chief.
Pee corner's over there.

372
00:17:32.426 --> 00:17:34.636
- Hey, that end table
was a matching set!

373
00:17:34.762 --> 00:17:37.432
And we don't need a pee corner,
i have a bathr-

374
00:17:37.557 --> 00:17:38.807
you know what?
We're getting out of here.

375
00:17:47.942 --> 00:17:49.612
- Oh.
- Oh.

376
00:17:49.735 --> 00:17:50.685
- Alright,
they're drawn to the noise.

377
00:17:50.820 --> 00:17:52.240
We'll have to leave quietly.

378
00:17:52.363 --> 00:17:55.453
- But you heard the radio.
They said to hunker down

379
00:17:55.575 --> 00:17:58.945
and wait for the
national guard or whatever.

380
00:17:59.078 --> 00:18:01.158
And just some food for thought,
we might want to start bonding

381
00:18:01.289 --> 00:18:04.249
in case we have to
repopulate the world.

382
00:18:04.375 --> 00:18:05.875
Just thinking out loud here.

383
00:18:06.002 --> 00:18:07.502
- No.
Please don't, alright?

384
00:18:07.628 --> 00:18:10.208
Look, my fiance, brother,
and father are out there.

385
00:18:10.339 --> 00:18:11.169
They'll be expecting me.

386
00:18:11.299 --> 00:18:12.009
- Breaking news:

387
00:18:12.133 --> 00:18:14.643
People are kind of foregoing
their holiday plans right now.

388
00:18:14.760 --> 00:18:16.300
You'll be no help to them
if you get infected.

389
00:18:16.429 --> 00:18:17.259
- I'd rather take that risk

390
00:18:17.388 --> 00:18:19.768
than be without
the people I care about.

391
00:18:19.890 --> 00:18:22.020
- Okay, whatever you want.

392
00:18:22.143 --> 00:18:22.983
I'm staying put.

393
00:18:23.102 --> 00:18:25.402
- But... I need you.

394
00:18:26.647 --> 00:18:28.147
- You know, it's weird.

395
00:18:28.274 --> 00:18:30.484
I know that we've only
know each other a short time,

396
00:18:30.610 --> 00:18:32.490
but I kind of feel the same-
- you have a car.

397
00:18:32.612 --> 00:18:33.782
- Oh.

398
00:18:33.904 --> 00:18:36.534
What happened to yours, playa?
Ls it in the shop?

399
00:18:36.657 --> 00:18:38.947
- I don't have one.
I ride my bicycle everywhere.

400
00:18:39.076 --> 00:18:40.986
- Everywhere except
across town in the middle

401
00:18:41.120 --> 00:18:42.250
of a zombie apocalypse, huh?

402
00:18:42.371 --> 00:18:43.661
Is that your one exception?

403
00:18:43.789 --> 00:18:45.789
- Look,
help me collect my people,

404
00:18:45.916 --> 00:18:47.286
then we call all
leave town together

405
00:18:47.418 --> 00:18:50.128
and then you can get
to your mom in Virginia.

406
00:18:50.254 --> 00:18:53.384
- I can't stay mad at you.

407
00:18:53.924 --> 00:18:55.804
We're gonna need
some road snacks.

408
00:18:55.926 --> 00:18:58.296
Oh, I foolishly thought
that you kept food in here.

409
00:18:58.429 --> 00:19:00.179
- Hey, we can survive
on this stuff!

410
00:19:00.306 --> 00:19:02.676
- For an hour,
if we were rabbits.

411
00:19:02.808 --> 00:19:04.018
Why do you have coconut water?

412
00:19:04.143 --> 00:19:05.393
Is this Maine
or gilligan's island?

413
00:19:05.519 --> 00:19:06.809
- It's very hydrating.

414
00:19:08.439 --> 00:19:09.229
Once we get in that car,

415
00:19:09.357 --> 00:19:11.857
I'm not stopping
until we get to va.

416
00:19:11.984 --> 00:19:12.944
There's gotta be
someplace around here

417
00:19:13.069 --> 00:19:14.989
that we can get food.

418
00:19:15.279 --> 00:19:16.989
- I check in on Mrs. Jones,

419
00:19:17.114 --> 00:19:18.824
get her groceries
once in a while.

420
00:19:18.949 --> 00:19:21.989
- Aw, that's so sweet.

421
00:19:23.287 --> 00:19:25.997
- Oh, no.

422
00:19:27.041 --> 00:19:29.751
- Oh my god, is she...?

423
00:19:31.170 --> 00:19:32.670
So sad.

424
00:19:32.797 --> 00:19:36.007
To die alone on the 4th.

425
00:19:37.468 --> 00:19:39.178
"Shadows are trailing

426
00:19:39.303 --> 00:19:41.103
my heart is bewailing

427
00:19:41.222 --> 00:19:44.682
and tolling within
like a funeral bell."

428
00:19:44.809 --> 00:19:48.519
Rest in peace, Mrs. Jones.

429
00:19:50.648 --> 00:19:52.568
- What are you doing?

430
00:19:52.692 --> 00:19:54.282
- Oh, I was just reciting
some longfellow.

431
00:19:54.402 --> 00:19:56.242
I think it's nice to say a
few things before- - no, no,

432
00:19:56.362 --> 00:19:58.532
why did you open her eyes?

433
00:19:58.656 --> 00:20:00.026
- That's what you do
when someone dies?

434
00:20:00.157 --> 00:20:03.537
To let their soul
rise up to heaven.

435
00:20:03.661 --> 00:20:04.241
- What?

436
00:20:04.370 --> 00:20:06.540
No, no,
you close their eyes.

437
00:20:06.664 --> 00:20:09.924
- Uh... okay,
trust me on this one.

438
00:20:10.042 --> 00:20:11.712
- No.
Trust me, okay.

439
00:20:11.836 --> 00:20:13.126
Nobody does it that way.

440
00:20:13.254 --> 00:20:15.264
- Uh, you're gonna
feel pretty silly

441
00:20:15.381 --> 00:20:17.341
when the lnternet's back up.

442
00:20:17.466 --> 00:20:20.296
- Please. This was a
sweet old lady, alright?

443
00:20:20.428 --> 00:20:23.558
Don't be weird,
just leave her in peace.

444
00:20:23.681 --> 00:20:25.471
- Stop it!

445
00:20:25.599 --> 00:20:29.479
- Ooh, taking control.
Yeah, I dig it.

446
00:20:29.603 --> 00:20:31.523
But I gotta do right by her.

447
00:20:31.647 --> 00:20:33.397
Let your soul be free!

448
00:20:33.524 --> 00:20:36.444
- You're being ridiculous.
- No, you're being ridiculous.

449
00:20:36.569 --> 00:20:39.029
And let go of my wrist,
you're hurting me.

450
00:20:39.155 --> 00:20:40.355
- I'm not touching your-

451
00:20:40.489 --> 00:20:42.909
- whoa!
- Whoa! What is happening?!

452
00:20:44.910 --> 00:20:48.200
<i>A little help here, chief!
- I'm working on it!</i>

453
00:20:48.330 --> 00:20:49.710
Okay,
I'm sorry, Mrs. Jones.

454
00:20:49.832 --> 00:20:50.832
L'm really sorry
to do this to you-

455
00:20:50.958 --> 00:20:53.668
- forget the lamp,
Martha Stewart!

456
00:20:53.794 --> 00:20:56.254
- Okay. Okay!
Okay, jump away.

457
00:20:56.380 --> 00:20:59.670
Alright.
And... clear!

458
00:20:59.800 --> 00:21:00.930
- What are you doing?!

459
00:21:01.051 --> 00:21:02.011
- What?
Why isn't it working?

460
00:21:02.136 --> 00:21:03.176
Deb, do something!

461
00:21:03.304 --> 00:21:06.184
- But I don't know- - please
don't struggle, Mrs. Jones!

462
00:21:06.307 --> 00:21:08.727
- Oh, she's old.

463
00:21:16.317 --> 00:21:17.357
- Yeah!

464
00:21:17.485 --> 00:21:19.605
That was awesome.
- Yeah!

465
00:21:19.737 --> 00:21:21.407
- I mean, that was terrible,
actually,

466
00:21:21.530 --> 00:21:23.160
because she was my neighbor.

467
00:21:23.282 --> 00:21:25.202
But that's a-

468
00:21:25.326 --> 00:21:27.536
let's get the food.

469
00:21:32.041 --> 00:21:33.541
- These are the
crappiest snacks.

470
00:21:33.667 --> 00:21:35.707
Didn't this lady eat any solids?
- Shh.

471
00:21:40.299 --> 00:21:42.259
- Whoa.

472
00:21:42.384 --> 00:21:44.554
At least they're
three floors down.

473
00:21:45.805 --> 00:21:46.635
- Whoa!
- Oh! Oh!

474
00:21:46.764 --> 00:21:48.974
- Fire escape! Fire escape!
- Yeah, sure.

475
00:21:51.227 --> 00:21:54.017
<i>Ii</i>

476
00:21:55.105 --> 00:21:56.895
- wait!
Slow down.

477
00:21:57.024 --> 00:21:59.114
- What are you doing?
You should've left that stuff!

478
00:21:59.235 --> 00:22:01.855
- Sorry! Fine!
- No, no, no. D0n'tjust-

479
00:22:01.987 --> 00:22:02.567
- sorry.

480
00:22:03.906 --> 00:22:05.196
- Shit.

481
00:22:05.324 --> 00:22:08.544
- Great.
Now look what you made me do.

482
00:22:12.873 --> 00:22:15.833
- That's it.
We're toast.

483
00:22:15.960 --> 00:22:18.670
- Well, it's stupid
for both of us to die.

484
00:22:19.338 --> 00:22:20.588
I'm gonna get you a chance.

485
00:22:20.714 --> 00:22:22.724
- What are you talking about?
- Shh.

486
00:22:22.842 --> 00:22:25.972
Earn this.
Huh?

487
00:22:27.263 --> 00:22:28.563
Okay.

488
00:22:29.014 --> 00:22:32.274
When the moment is right,
you grab your bike and go!

489
00:22:32.393 --> 00:22:34.403
Who wants a piece of this?!

490
00:22:37.356 --> 00:22:40.606
Whoa!
Whoa, ho, ho, ho!

491
00:22:40.734 --> 00:22:41.904
Whoo!

492
00:22:42.027 --> 00:22:43.487
Whoo-hoo!

493
00:22:43.612 --> 00:22:45.162
Ride-'em-zombies!

494
00:22:47.825 --> 00:22:49.535
Why are you hitting yourself?
Why are you hitting yourself?

495
00:22:49.660 --> 00:22:51.660
Why are you hitting yourself?

496
00:22:51.787 --> 00:22:54.207
Come on, you guys.
I'm right here.

497
00:22:54.331 --> 00:22:56.211
Come on, you guys.
Get over here.

498
00:22:56.333 --> 00:22:59.043
Come on, you guys.
I'm just right here.

499
00:22:59.169 --> 00:23:00.749
Fresh meat!
- Hey!

500
00:23:07.887 --> 00:23:09.677
- Whoa!

501
00:23:10.639 --> 00:23:13.219
That was awesome!
You were awesome!

502
00:23:13.350 --> 00:23:15.390
I feel so alive!

503
00:23:15.519 --> 00:23:17.519
- Tell me you have your keys.
- Yes!

504
00:23:22.401 --> 00:23:24.241
Whoo!

505
00:23:25.779 --> 00:23:29.869
You saved me, Ryan!
You effing saved me!

506
00:23:29.992 --> 00:23:32.912
I think we can be
pretty sure you like me.

507
00:23:33.037 --> 00:23:35.657
- Good god,
do you live in here?

508
00:23:35.789 --> 00:23:37.669
- No-

509
00:23:38.876 --> 00:23:40.206
not any more.

510
00:23:40.336 --> 00:23:41.916
- Maybe there's something
more about this on the radio.

511
00:23:42.046 --> 00:23:44.756
- "Don't you ever
touch a black man's radio!"

512
00:23:44.882 --> 00:23:47.472
It's Chris Tucker,
"rush hour."

513
00:23:47.593 --> 00:23:49.933
Radio's busted.
Tape player works, though.

514
00:23:50.054 --> 00:23:54.104
- Oh, well,
that's completely useless.

515
00:23:54.224 --> 00:23:56.064
- Ten points!
- Ahh! Ahh!

516
00:23:56.185 --> 00:23:58.015
Wha-what are you doing?!

517
00:23:58.145 --> 00:24:00.805
- I know.
Low hanging fruit, right?

518
00:24:01.065 --> 00:24:03.275
- Ahh! No. No.
Stop that.

519
00:24:03.400 --> 00:24:04.530
- Don't worry about it.

520
00:24:04.652 --> 00:24:06.862
This is like swatting
mosquitoes for little ol' Otis.

521
00:24:06.987 --> 00:24:09.277
- No. No. You can't just
murder the zombies.

522
00:24:09.406 --> 00:24:10.446
These are people.

523
00:24:10.574 --> 00:24:12.874
- Um...
Maybe they were once.

524
00:24:12.993 --> 00:24:13.953
- No.
For all we know,

525
00:24:14.078 --> 00:24:15.948
some chemist could be
working on a cure right now.

526
00:24:16.080 --> 00:24:17.080
They could all be
turned normal again.

527
00:24:17.206 --> 00:24:18.666
- Sure and maybe we
can all hold hands

528
00:24:18.791 --> 00:24:20.001
and skip to yum-yum town,

529
00:24:20.125 --> 00:24:22.665
where rainbows shoot out
the butts of unicorns.

530
00:24:22.795 --> 00:24:24.795
- I'm serious.

531
00:24:24.922 --> 00:24:26.972
- Ryan,
even if you're right,

532
00:24:27.091 --> 00:24:28.471
would they really
want to come back?

533
00:24:28.592 --> 00:24:29.882
I mean, how would
you deal with the fact

534
00:24:30.010 --> 00:24:32.010
that you just ate your
roommate's lower intestine?

535
00:24:33.472 --> 00:24:35.642
Okay. Okay.
I wasn't looking on that one.

536
00:24:35.766 --> 00:24:38.226
- Please, Deb.

537
00:24:41.897 --> 00:24:44.607
- Enjoy your life, zombies.

538
00:24:49.697 --> 00:24:51.117
- I always knew
this town was dead

539
00:24:51.240 --> 00:24:52.570
but this is ridiculous.

540
00:24:52.700 --> 00:24:54.620
Ra-cha-cha-cha.

541
00:24:54.743 --> 00:24:56.703
- How many miles
does this boat get?

542
00:24:56.829 --> 00:24:58.789
- You're gonna bust
on my car now?

543
00:24:58.914 --> 00:25:00.834
- No, no,
i was just thinking about...

544
00:25:00.958 --> 00:25:02.828
When we need to
fill up the gas again.

545
00:25:02.960 --> 00:25:04.290
- No, no,
i hear it in your voice.

546
00:25:04.420 --> 00:25:06.840
Otis is offensive.
Otis is unclean.

547
00:25:06.964 --> 00:25:09.514
- Do you know, like,
what the emissions from this car

548
00:25:09.633 --> 00:25:10.933
actually do to the environment?

549
00:25:11.051 --> 00:25:12.641
- I'm sorry, I must've
missed that page

550
00:25:12.761 --> 00:25:15.971
in "Ryan's guide to being a
completely perfect humanoid."

551
00:25:16.098 --> 00:25:17.718
- No, no,
it's not about being perfect.

552
00:25:17.850 --> 00:25:20.020
Clean energy is just
the right thing to do.

553
00:25:20.144 --> 00:25:22.154
- Energy is messy, okay?

554
00:25:22.271 --> 00:25:24.311
I mean, it's really cute
to eat organic millet

555
00:25:24.440 --> 00:25:27.150
and drive around in a hovercraft
or whatever,

556
00:25:27.276 --> 00:25:29.276
but look around you, dude.

557
00:25:29.403 --> 00:25:30.323
We lost.

558
00:25:30.446 --> 00:25:33.406
We tried to save the planet,
and this is where it got us.

559
00:25:33.532 --> 00:25:35.332
- God, you sound
just like my dad.

560
00:25:35.451 --> 00:25:37.491
- Really?
The guy sounds awesome.

561
00:25:37.619 --> 00:25:39.159
What, are you adopted?

562
00:25:39.288 --> 00:25:41.498
- Nice one.
That's actually the family joke.

563
00:25:41.623 --> 00:25:44.503
My brother makes it all the time.

564
00:25:44.626 --> 00:25:46.126
It's a good one.

565
00:25:46.253 --> 00:25:47.003
Look, I'm sorry.

566
00:25:47.129 --> 00:25:51.299
My family is not a
hallmark card either.

567
00:25:52.676 --> 00:25:54.466
I remember every 4th,

568
00:25:54.595 --> 00:25:56.135
my dad would bring us
all up to the roof

569
00:25:56.263 --> 00:25:59.023
to watch the fireworks
over the eastern prom.

570
00:25:59.141 --> 00:26:02.521
Then, one year,
around dusk,

571
00:26:02.644 --> 00:26:04.484
the guy's nowhere to be found.

572
00:26:04.605 --> 00:26:06.765
So we go up to the roof...

573
00:26:06.899 --> 00:26:09.399
And that's when we saw him.

574
00:26:10.027 --> 00:26:13.657
He was lying there
in the back yard,

575
00:26:13.781 --> 00:26:15.821
right by the barbecue...

576
00:26:15.949 --> 00:26:19.159
Almost looked like
he was asleep.

577
00:26:21.371 --> 00:26:23.001
He was changing out
the propane tank.

578
00:26:23.123 --> 00:26:25.833
It was the best cookout ever.

579
00:26:27.503 --> 00:26:29.843
- That's the end of the story?
- Um-hmm.

580
00:26:29.963 --> 00:26:32.343
- That's a ridiculous-
that was so strange.

581
00:26:32.466 --> 00:26:33.716
It's all going
one direction and then-

582
00:26:33.842 --> 00:26:36.852
- that was a good memory.
It's not all like that.

583
00:26:36.970 --> 00:26:38.850
It's a mixed bag.

584
00:26:38.972 --> 00:26:42.312
- Okay, well, anyway, um...

585
00:26:42.434 --> 00:26:44.524
My dad is pissed
because I won't work

586
00:26:44.645 --> 00:26:46.055
for the family business.

587
00:26:46.188 --> 00:26:47.308
- Really?
What's wrong with it?

588
00:26:47.439 --> 00:26:50.189
- It's rated the most
environmentally unsound

589
00:26:50.317 --> 00:26:52.487
business in the state.

590
00:26:52.611 --> 00:26:54.321
- Waverly water treatment?

591
00:26:54.446 --> 00:26:56.816
You're a waverly?
Oh my god.

592
00:26:56.949 --> 00:26:58.079
- How did you
put that together?

593
00:26:58.200 --> 00:26:59.950
- Because I work in the news,
remember?

594
00:27:00.077 --> 00:27:01.407
I mean,
don't get me wrong,

595
00:27:01.537 --> 00:27:02.827
that company
seems like pure evil,

596
00:27:02.955 --> 00:27:04.865
but the buckage
must be pretty good.

597
00:27:04.998 --> 00:27:07.078
- Yeah well, not for me.
I'm not gonna work there

598
00:27:07.209 --> 00:27:08.499
so my brother is
gonna get it all.

599
00:27:08.627 --> 00:27:10.997
- Hmm.
Tough break.

600
00:27:12.422 --> 00:27:13.972
- Where the fuck are we?

601
00:27:14.800 --> 00:27:16.590
Wait.
What are you doing?

602
00:27:16.718 --> 00:27:19.178
- L just gotta stop in here.

603
00:27:23.475 --> 00:27:24.515
- "Yule mart?"

604
00:27:24.643 --> 00:27:26.483
No. No.
We agreed, no more stopping.

605
00:27:26.603 --> 00:27:28.483
My dad's place is just a
couple miles up the road.

606
00:27:28.605 --> 00:27:29.855
- Yeah,
and we're gonna get there.

607
00:27:29.982 --> 00:27:32.862
But my friend's inside,
i have to see if she's okay.

608
00:27:32.985 --> 00:27:35.355
- Fine.
Five minutes.

609
00:27:35.487 --> 00:27:38.777
But do we have anything
deadlier than a bike chain?

610
00:27:38.907 --> 00:27:40.327
- Urn.

611
00:27:40.450 --> 00:27:43.040
This thing.
- No.

612
00:27:43.162 --> 00:27:45.962
- Oh,
check the glove box.

613
00:27:49.626 --> 00:27:51.916
Maybe that?

614
00:27:54.506 --> 00:27:57.716
- You've had a gun
this entire time?

615
00:27:57.843 --> 00:28:00.513
- Yeah, it was in there
when I bought the car.

616
00:28:00.637 --> 00:28:04.057
It's mostly for show, though,
it only has two bullets.

617
00:28:04.183 --> 00:28:06.853
Comes down to it,
we'll use it to tap out.

618
00:28:06.977 --> 00:28:08.397
- "Tap out?"

619
00:28:08.520 --> 00:28:09.400
- Yeah.

620
00:28:09.521 --> 00:28:12.191
You know,
if we get infected.

621
00:28:12.316 --> 00:28:14.026
Tap.

622
00:28:14.151 --> 00:28:16.571
And then tap.

623
00:28:16.695 --> 00:28:18.195
- You just shot yourself first.

624
00:28:18.322 --> 00:28:19.362
- Oh, I'm sorry, Ryan,

625
00:28:19.489 --> 00:28:22.199
I haven't worked out the math
on our murder-suicide yet!

626
00:28:22.326 --> 00:28:24.536
- Okay, let me be
really clear about this:

627
00:28:24.661 --> 00:28:27.081
I do not
want to be tapped out.

628
00:28:27.206 --> 00:28:29.786
You say that now...

629
00:28:29.917 --> 00:28:31.247
- No, seriously,
if I get infected,

630
00:28:31.376 --> 00:28:33.796
just let me run off into
the woods or something.

631
00:28:33.921 --> 00:28:35.801
- You'll feel differently
when you get infected.

632
00:28:35.923 --> 00:28:37.093
I don't want you to suffer.

633
00:28:37.216 --> 00:28:39.256
- No, I could not be
more sure about this;

634
00:28:39.384 --> 00:28:41.144
I do not want you to
shoot me in the head.

635
00:28:41.261 --> 00:28:42.801
- Sure, sure, sure.
Okay, okay.

636
00:28:42.930 --> 00:28:46.140
We'll see, though.
Okay?

637
00:28:51.355 --> 00:28:53.475
Stay alert.

638
00:28:55.817 --> 00:28:57.487
<i>- Jingle bells,
jingle bells, jingle all the way!</i>

639
00:28:57.611 --> 00:28:59.701
"Ah!
"Ah!

640
00:28:59.821 --> 00:29:02.031
- <i>Oh
what fun it is to ride in</i> a

641
00:29:02.157 --> 00:29:05.867
<i>one horse open sleigh...</i>

642
00:29:13.293 --> 00:29:16.423
<i>Deck the halls with boughs of-</i>

643
00:29:18.799 --> 00:29:20.839
- look at all this crap.

644
00:29:20.968 --> 00:29:21.758
- You don't like Christmas?

645
00:29:21.885 --> 00:29:24.845
- Are you kidding me?
I freakin' love Christmas.

646
00:29:24.972 --> 00:29:26.392
Which is why I think
these plastic trees

647
00:29:26.515 --> 00:29:31.015
are for tire stores
and communists.

648
00:29:31.228 --> 00:29:31.728
When I have kids,

649
00:29:31.853 --> 00:29:34.693
I'm gonna take them every
year to cut down a real tree.

650
00:29:34.815 --> 00:29:36.525
- You realize
it takes ten years

651
00:29:36.650 --> 00:29:37.730
for one of those
trees to grow

652
00:29:37.859 --> 00:29:39.529
and only seconds
to saw the life out of it?

653
00:29:39.653 --> 00:29:41.113
- If there is a bigger
buzz kill than you, sir,

654
00:29:41.238 --> 00:29:42.358
I don't know what
that looks like.

655
00:29:42.489 --> 00:29:44.279
- I'm just saying that
we should celebrate

656
00:29:44.408 --> 00:29:45.868
planting a tree
with the children

657
00:29:45.993 --> 00:29:47.543
rather than destroying one.

658
00:29:47.661 --> 00:29:49.251
- "We"?

659
00:29:49.371 --> 00:29:51.331
- Yeah, you know,
i mean, people- earth.

660
00:29:51.456 --> 00:29:53.116
- Uh-huh.
But you said "the children."

661
00:29:53.250 --> 00:29:54.130
And if you meant
children in general

662
00:29:54.251 --> 00:29:57.801
you would've just said something like-
- oh my god.

663
00:29:57.921 --> 00:29:59.461
That sweater.

664
00:30:02.759 --> 00:30:03.929
- Ruby?

665
00:30:04.052 --> 00:30:07.012
Honey, are you okay?

666
00:30:08.265 --> 00:30:10.135
- Oh, look out!

667
00:30:13.562 --> 00:30:15.942
Well, it looks like she's
full-on zombie, let's jet.

668
00:30:16.064 --> 00:30:17.774
- Wait!
We can't leave her like that.

669
00:30:17.899 --> 00:30:18.769
- What do you suggest?

670
00:30:20.610 --> 00:30:21.820
- Tap, tap-

671
00:30:21.945 --> 00:30:23.775
- use our bullets on her?

672
00:30:23.905 --> 00:30:25.235
- It's the right thing to do.

673
00:30:25.365 --> 00:30:26.815
Besides, you said you
didn't want to use them.

674
00:30:26.950 --> 00:30:28.280
- But the gun's in the car.

675
00:30:32.164 --> 00:30:33.714
- Here.

676
00:30:33.832 --> 00:30:35.632
You distract her
and lead her outside.

677
00:30:35.751 --> 00:30:37.921
I'll do the rest.

678
00:30:39.629 --> 00:30:42.129
Hey?

679
00:30:42.257 --> 00:30:45.217
Sale on flesh over here!

680
00:30:45.761 --> 00:30:47.431
Ruby?

681
00:30:53.060 --> 00:30:54.690
<i>'</i> Deb!

682
00:30:54.811 --> 00:30:56.101
What's going on?!

683
00:30:56.229 --> 00:30:57.939
- Get on the roof!
Trust me!

684
00:30:58.065 --> 00:31:00.855
- I don't trust you!

685
00:31:09.076 --> 00:31:11.406
- Yahtzee!

686
00:31:13.538 --> 00:31:15.578
- Did I hurt you in
a past life or something?

687
00:31:15.707 --> 00:31:17.207
- I just thought,
maybe you're right.

688
00:31:17.334 --> 00:31:19.094
Maybe they'll find a cure
for this someday.

689
00:31:19.211 --> 00:31:20.671
- Well,
if I can change one mind...

690
00:31:20.796 --> 00:31:22.256
- Hey,
you saved a zombie, kid,

691
00:31:22.381 --> 00:31:23.841
you didn't undo apartheid.

692
00:31:26.051 --> 00:31:27.761
- Okay,
let's go find your peeps.

693
00:31:29.054 --> 00:31:30.974
Hang in there, rubes.

694
00:31:31.098 --> 00:31:33.018
- It's up here on the right.

695
00:31:36.103 --> 00:31:37.773
Good.
That's Stacy's car.

696
00:31:37.896 --> 00:31:38.806
I'm glad she knew
to come here.

697
00:31:38.939 --> 00:31:42.649
- Yay.
So glad Stacy isn't dead.

698
00:31:42.776 --> 00:31:44.686
- Look, Deb,
i hope this isn't going to be-

699
00:31:46.154 --> 00:31:47.994
are you out of you mind?!
- What?

700
00:31:48.115 --> 00:31:49.945
We both agreed we were not
gonna leave this car again.

701
00:31:50.075 --> 00:31:51.655
- Until we get here, yeah!

702
00:31:51.785 --> 00:31:53.575
Obviously, we have to
get out to collect them.

703
00:31:53.703 --> 00:31:55.003
- We don't even know
if they're in there.

704
00:31:55.122 --> 00:31:56.292
- Trust me.
They are.

705
00:31:56.415 --> 00:31:57.865
We always get
together on the fourth.

706
00:31:57.999 --> 00:31:59.459
It's my dad's favorite holiday.

707
00:31:59.584 --> 00:32:00.674
- Well, prepare yourself.

708
00:32:00.794 --> 00:32:02.594
They may not be the
people you remember.

709
00:32:02.712 --> 00:32:05.052
- Oh, I have no doubt
they'll be unrelenting,

710
00:32:05.173 --> 00:32:06.473
flesh-eating monsters

711
00:32:06.591 --> 00:32:08.801
but I bet they won't
be zombies.

712
00:32:08.927 --> 00:32:11.467
- Okay.
I deserve the things I want.

713
00:32:11.596 --> 00:32:13.136
My needs are worthwhile.

714
00:32:13.265 --> 00:32:15.845
I'm not hurting anyone
by being myself.

715
00:32:15.976 --> 00:32:18.396
- What are you doing,
rain man?

716
00:32:19.271 --> 00:32:20.941
- I like to take a second
to center myself

717
00:32:21.064 --> 00:32:23.154
every time I come here.

718
00:32:23.275 --> 00:32:25.145
I deserve the things I want.

719
00:32:25.277 --> 00:32:26.817
My needs are worthwhile.

720
00:32:26.945 --> 00:32:28.735
L'm not hurting anyone
by being myself-

721
00:32:28.864 --> 00:32:30.124
- I want to be
supportive and all,

722
00:32:30.240 --> 00:32:32.700
but is this mantra
much longer?

723
00:32:32.826 --> 00:32:34.326
- Whoa.

724
00:32:38.874 --> 00:32:40.334
Oh man,
what is it again?

725
00:32:40.459 --> 00:32:42.209
- Well, why don't you try
Stacy's phone number?

726
00:32:42.335 --> 00:32:44.955
- Will you
just give it a rest, alright?

727
00:32:45.088 --> 00:32:47.128
You're like the
Terminator of sarcasm.

728
00:32:47.257 --> 00:32:50.127
- You know,
i drove you here in my car.

729
00:32:50.260 --> 00:32:52.510
And you've been
treating me like I'm just a bag

730
00:32:52.637 --> 00:32:54.847
of wet diapers
you have to lug around.

731
00:32:54.973 --> 00:32:56.723
- Well, that
actually sounds less shitty

732
00:32:56.850 --> 00:32:58.310
than whatever we
got going on now.

733
00:32:58.435 --> 00:32:59.765
Oh, wow.

734
00:32:59.895 --> 00:33:02.555
You know, I thought you were
a cool guy back in the bar,

735
00:33:02.689 --> 00:33:05.439
but now I find out you're
some spoiled pretty boy.

736
00:33:05.567 --> 00:33:07.277
- Excuse me.
"Pretty boy"?!

737
00:33:07.402 --> 00:33:09.992
I have a very masculine
set of features, okay?

738
00:33:10.113 --> 00:33:12.533
If anything, my look is
"burnished rugged."

739
00:33:12.657 --> 00:33:15.027
- Nobody who is that, says that.
- I do.

740
00:33:15.160 --> 00:33:17.370
- Your hair has not moved
this entire time.

741
00:33:17.496 --> 00:33:18.746
- It's thick,
it requires maintenance.

742
00:33:18.872 --> 00:33:19.622
You have no idea!

743
00:33:19.748 --> 00:33:21.368
- You haven't taken a shower
since yesterday,

744
00:33:21.500 --> 00:33:24.710
and yet you still smell like
sandalwood and lilac!

745
00:33:24.836 --> 00:33:25.916
- Oh!
Oh, I'm sorry,

746
00:33:26.046 --> 00:33:27.546
I didn't mean to
distract you from being

747
00:33:27.672 --> 00:33:30.052
the weirdest person
in the world!

748
00:33:30.175 --> 00:33:31.045
Yikes!

749
00:33:31.176 --> 00:33:32.426
(Gunshon

750
00:33:32.552 --> 00:33:35.142
- oh god! Chaz.

751
00:33:35.263 --> 00:33:36.643
Did you change
the gate code?

752
00:33:36.765 --> 00:33:38.055
- Depends.

753
00:33:38.183 --> 00:33:40.023
How do I know you're not...

754
00:33:40.143 --> 00:33:40.733
One of them?

755
00:33:40.852 --> 00:33:43.562
- Because
I'm speaking in words.

756
00:33:43.688 --> 00:33:45.858
- What about her?
- Gimme a break, Chaz.

757
00:33:45.982 --> 00:33:47.612
- Hi, I'm Deb.

758
00:33:47.734 --> 00:33:49.744
(Gunshob
- oh!

759
00:33:49.861 --> 00:33:50.901
Will you knock it off?!

760
00:33:51.029 --> 00:33:53.869
- You're Ryan's big brother?
You're so... different.

761
00:33:53.990 --> 00:33:54.820
- Thanks.

762
00:33:54.950 --> 00:33:56.990
We think he's adopted.
- Oh, that never gets old.

763
00:33:57.118 --> 00:33:58.078
- Can we please come in?

764
00:33:58.203 --> 00:34:00.793
We've had a really long day.

765
00:34:01.039 --> 00:34:02.459
- Wait.
Excuse me, wait.

766
00:34:02.582 --> 00:34:04.632
- What are you?
Are you the rebound?

767
00:34:04.751 --> 00:34:07.631
- Busted!
How did you know, dude?

768
00:34:07.754 --> 00:34:09.424
You're probably an uncle now.

769
00:34:09.548 --> 00:34:10.718
No.

770
00:34:10.840 --> 00:34:11.470
- I knew it.

771
00:34:11.591 --> 00:34:14.011
- No, no. That's not-
Stacy's here, right?

772
00:34:14.135 --> 00:34:17.845
- Oh, she told me all about
your big breakup, stud.

773
00:34:17.973 --> 00:34:18.933
Looks like you didn't
waste too much time

774
00:34:19.057 --> 00:34:20.887
moving on, now did ya?
- No, that's not-

775
00:34:21.017 --> 00:34:22.557
we're just helping each other.

776
00:34:22.686 --> 00:34:23.726
- I'm sure you are.

777
00:34:23.853 --> 00:34:25.693
(Gunshon

778
00:34:26.356 --> 00:34:28.816
Deb?
I'm Chaz.

779
00:34:28.942 --> 00:34:31.952
Clearly the more masculine
of the two waverly brothers.

780
00:34:32.070 --> 00:34:34.280
- You're a good shot.

781
00:34:34.406 --> 00:34:35.566
- I aim to please.

782
00:34:35.699 --> 00:34:38.659
- Okay.
Open the gate.

783
00:34:38.785 --> 00:34:40.445
- Well, you need the code,
man.

784
00:34:40.579 --> 00:34:41.959
- Okay-

785
00:34:42.080 --> 00:34:42.960
- do you want it?
- Yes!

786
00:34:43.081 --> 00:34:47.251
- Okay, it's
five, eight, zero, zero, eight.

787
00:34:47.377 --> 00:34:49.707
That's "boobs" upside down.

788
00:34:49.838 --> 00:34:52.548
- Wow, a gentleman, too.
- Yeah.

789
00:34:52.674 --> 00:34:54.884
- Ooh la la.

790
00:34:55.010 --> 00:34:57.300
Thank you, Chaz.

791
00:34:58.847 --> 00:35:00.467
(Gunshon

792
00:35:01.016 --> 00:35:03.346
<i>- whoa'. - Ah'. Geez.</i>

793
00:35:04.311 --> 00:35:05.561
- Dad?!

794
00:35:05.687 --> 00:35:06.897
- Whoa.

795
00:35:07.022 --> 00:35:09.362
This is like straight out of
"meet Joe black."

796
00:35:09.482 --> 00:35:10.232
:81')?!

797
00:35:10.358 --> 00:35:12.608
- Oh my rye bread,
you're all right!

798
00:35:12.736 --> 00:35:14.946
We thought for sure-
- no, no. I'm okay.

799
00:35:15.071 --> 00:35:16.241
- Hey Stacy,
did you meet Deb?

800
00:35:16.364 --> 00:35:18.244
She came here with Ryan.
Together.

801
00:35:18.366 --> 00:35:20.486
- Where did you
creep up from?

802
00:35:20.619 --> 00:35:22.909
- Oh, I just
came with rye bread.

803
00:35:23.038 --> 00:35:24.368
- They helped each other
get across town.

804
00:35:24.497 --> 00:35:25.867
God knows what they
had to do to survive,

805
00:35:25.999 --> 00:35:26.869
isn't that swell?

806
00:35:27.000 --> 00:35:28.630
- So helpful.

807
00:35:28.752 --> 00:35:30.092
Do we tip her, or...?

808
00:35:30.211 --> 00:35:33.591
- It was nothing. I was just...
One hand stroking the other.

809
00:35:33.715 --> 00:35:36.585
Friends with benefits,
as they say.

810
00:35:36.718 --> 00:35:37.428
- I'm glad you made it.

811
00:35:37.552 --> 00:35:39.472
- Whoa!
- Dad!

812
00:35:39.596 --> 00:35:40.966
- Dad, look,
I've been thinking,

813
00:35:41.097 --> 00:35:43.427
I'm really sorry for what I said
on the phone last night.

814
00:35:43.558 --> 00:35:45.348
I've been thinking all day
and I was worried

815
00:35:45.477 --> 00:35:46.437
that those might be
the last words

816
00:35:46.561 --> 00:35:47.481
we ever said to each other.

817
00:35:47.604 --> 00:35:50.364
- Could I see you in
the kitchen for a moment?

818
00:35:50.482 --> 00:35:51.692
I need a little help
with my brownies.

819
00:35:51.816 --> 00:35:53.066
- Mr. waverly?

820
00:35:53.193 --> 00:35:54.443
Hi.

821
00:35:54.569 --> 00:35:56.779
- Hi.

822
00:35:59.532 --> 00:36:02.492
- Whoo.
- I always help him with the brownies.

823
00:36:02.827 --> 00:36:04.577
Hey, Deb,
how much you bench?

824
00:36:04.704 --> 00:36:06.664
- Right now?
- Yeah.

825
00:36:06.790 --> 00:36:08.420
" Forty?

826
00:36:08.875 --> 00:36:09.825
- How could you be
so boneheaded?

827
00:36:09.959 --> 00:36:11.289
- Stacy's here,
she's not family.

828
00:36:11.419 --> 00:36:13.419
- Stacy's inner circle!

829
00:36:13.546 --> 00:36:15.586
She's been here since
last night, for god's sake.

830
00:36:15.715 --> 00:36:16.295
- She has?

831
00:36:16.424 --> 00:36:17.434
- The point is,

832
00:36:17.550 --> 00:36:19.260
I spoke with the governor
on the short-wave.

833
00:36:19.386 --> 00:36:20.886
He's arranged a chopper evac

834
00:36:21.012 --> 00:36:23.682
at the county line
at 0900 hours tomorrow.

835
00:36:23.807 --> 00:36:25.927
For the four of us.
Not five.

836
00:36:26.059 --> 00:36:28.729
- I'm sure Deb can squeeze in.

837
00:36:28.853 --> 00:36:29.943
- Oh.

838
00:36:30.063 --> 00:36:33.273
You're a big man now
all of a sudden, huh?

839
00:36:33.400 --> 00:36:34.860
Why did I not get the memo?

840
00:36:34.984 --> 00:36:37.404
Well, this is bigger
than you are, smart guy.

841
00:36:37.529 --> 00:36:39.569
And you'd know that if you'd
listened on the phone last night

842
00:36:39.698 --> 00:36:41.828
instead of blathering on
about your principles.

843
00:36:41.950 --> 00:36:42.950
- Wait, so-

844
00:36:43.076 --> 00:36:47.116
you knew last night that people
were gonna turn into zombies?

845
00:36:47.247 --> 00:36:50.077
- No.
No, no, no.

846
00:36:50.208 --> 00:36:53.748
These people aren't...
What you said.

847
00:36:53.878 --> 00:36:55.418
They're just ordinary citizens,

848
00:36:55.547 --> 00:36:58.217
who happen to have contracted

849
00:36:58.341 --> 00:37:00.341
a parasite-borne virus

850
00:37:00.468 --> 00:37:02.388
that makes their
corporal bodies decompose

851
00:37:02.512 --> 00:37:05.012
and gives them an insatiable
appetite for human flesh.

852
00:37:05.140 --> 00:37:07.100
- Oh my god.

853
00:37:07.225 --> 00:37:08.135
The water.

854
00:37:08.268 --> 00:37:09.138
- Now Ryan, come on.

855
00:37:09.269 --> 00:37:13.019
It's just a very complicated
situation, alright?

856
00:37:13.148 --> 00:37:15.018
We haven't got our arms
around all the details yet.

857
00:37:15.150 --> 00:37:16.360
- Well, get your
arms around this:

858
00:37:16.484 --> 00:37:17.494
Deb's coming with us!

859
00:37:17.610 --> 00:37:18.440
- That's not an option.

860
00:37:18.570 --> 00:37:20.990
- If you leave her out,
i go too.

861
00:37:21.114 --> 00:37:22.994
I promised her I would
get her out of town,

862
00:37:23.116 --> 00:37:25.986
and I'm keeping that promise.

863
00:37:31.541 --> 00:37:34.501
Hmm.

864
00:37:36.296 --> 00:37:38.836
You can't talk, Stacy, while I'm shooting.
- I didn't.

865
00:37:38.965 --> 00:37:40.675
- So, you're saying
people became zombies

866
00:37:40.800 --> 00:37:42.300
last night if they
drank the city water?

867
00:37:42.427 --> 00:37:43.217
- Or bathed in it.

868
00:37:43.344 --> 00:37:45.014
Which explains how
you were spared.

869
00:37:45.138 --> 00:37:47.518
- Stacy!
Deb is my guest, please.

870
00:37:47.640 --> 00:37:48.560
- What?
I'm not trying to be mean,

871
00:37:48.683 --> 00:37:50.023
I'm just going by
the look of her hair

872
00:37:50.143 --> 00:37:53.653
and face and clothes.

873
00:37:53.772 --> 00:37:55.982
But Ryan, you take a shower
like every ten minutes.

874
00:37:56.107 --> 00:37:58.147
Why didn't you turn...

875
00:37:58.276 --> 00:37:59.986
Unless...

876
00:38:00.111 --> 00:38:01.321
I think I'm gonna be sick.

877
00:38:01.446 --> 00:38:03.156
- Hi-oh!

878
00:38:03.281 --> 00:38:05.531
Longest walk of shame ever!

879
00:38:05.658 --> 00:38:07.118
- No! No!
That's not-

880
00:38:07.243 --> 00:38:09.413
nothing happened,
we both just passed out.

881
00:38:09.537 --> 00:38:11.657
- I mean...
Something "happened."

882
00:38:11.790 --> 00:38:13.040
- I'm sure it did.

883
00:38:13.166 --> 00:38:15.376
While you two were getting
gross with each other...

884
00:38:15.502 --> 00:38:18.592
I took care of Stacy
and her pussy cats.

885
00:38:18.713 --> 00:38:20.923
- Ryan?

886
00:38:21.090 --> 00:38:24.680
You were right,
and I was wrong.

887
00:38:24.803 --> 00:38:28.103
I've decided to
keep the nutmeg in.

888
00:38:28.223 --> 00:38:31.103
- I'm... glad you see it that way.
- Mm-hmm.

889
00:38:31.226 --> 00:38:33.896
- Nutmeg can be a
bit much at times,

890
00:38:34.020 --> 00:38:36.060
but that's no reason
to abandon it.

891
00:38:36.189 --> 00:38:38.359
- You guys are, what,
trading recipes now?

892
00:38:38.483 --> 00:38:39.483
When did that start happening?

893
00:38:39.609 --> 00:38:41.489
- Chaz, would you give
your ears a rest please?

894
00:38:41.611 --> 00:38:42.571
- Okay, yeah.

895
00:38:42.695 --> 00:38:45.025
- The important thing is
we're safe.

896
00:38:45.156 --> 00:38:45.906
We're all safe!

897
00:38:46.032 --> 00:38:47.452
(Gunshon

898
00:38:47.575 --> 00:38:50.695
- ho- holy frijoles!

899
00:38:50.829 --> 00:38:52.119
- Oh man.

900
00:38:52.247 --> 00:38:53.407
- Topper?

901
00:38:53.540 --> 00:38:56.380
You still have that giant
boozehound on the payroll?

902
00:38:56.501 --> 00:38:57.421
Hi, Ryan.

903
00:38:57.544 --> 00:38:59.004
- That "giant boozehound"

904
00:38:59.128 --> 00:39:01.378
saved your privileged
little ass numerous times

905
00:39:01.506 --> 00:39:02.416
when you were a boy.

906
00:39:02.549 --> 00:39:04.339
- Topper, just keep
walking the perimeter

907
00:39:04.467 --> 00:39:05.587
or no brownie for you.

908
00:39:05.718 --> 00:39:06.968
- Yeah.
Like when Leah schiffer

909
00:39:07.095 --> 00:39:08.675
discovered me
at hide-and-seek,

910
00:39:08.805 --> 00:39:09.805
and got put in the hospital?

911
00:39:09.931 --> 00:39:11.271
She didn't walk right
ever again.

912
00:39:11.391 --> 00:39:13.521
- Leah didn't play
by the rules.

913
00:39:13.643 --> 00:39:16.653
Society crumbles without rules.
- Amen, pop.

914
00:39:16.771 --> 00:39:18.691
- And speaking of crumbling...

915
00:39:18.815 --> 00:39:21.645
I'm pretty sure my brownies
must be cool enough by now.

916
00:39:21.776 --> 00:39:24.446
Shall we all adjourn
to the living room?

917
00:39:24.571 --> 00:39:26.361
Leah schiffer.

918
00:39:26.906 --> 00:39:28.616
Easy does it there.

919
00:39:28.741 --> 00:39:30.911
Mmm.

920
00:39:31.035 --> 00:39:33.615
Will you look at that, huh?

921
00:39:33.955 --> 00:39:37.415
- Sorry, I'm still stuck
on this water thing.

922
00:39:37.542 --> 00:39:39.382
- It's boring stuff, dear.

923
00:39:39.502 --> 00:39:40.882
Little bit too technical.

924
00:39:41.004 --> 00:39:41.964
- Well, does it have
to do with the

925
00:39:42.088 --> 00:39:43.668
ultraviolet treatment process

926
00:39:43.798 --> 00:39:45.548
that you're testing
at waverly water?

927
00:39:45.675 --> 00:39:46.715
- What?

928
00:39:46.843 --> 00:39:49.433
No. Not according
to public record.

929
00:39:49.554 --> 00:39:53.774
Where did you ever hear such
a preposterous fabrication?

930
00:39:53.892 --> 00:39:57.022
- Well, I keep my ear
to the ground for my job.

931
00:39:57.145 --> 00:39:59.355
Deb clarington,
news channel seven?

932
00:39:59.480 --> 00:40:01.440
Your system is supposed
to cut the cost

933
00:40:01.566 --> 00:40:04.526
of purifying our water
by half, right?

934
00:40:04.652 --> 00:40:07.662
That's...
Brilliant and ambitious.

935
00:40:07.780 --> 00:40:10.990
- Well, yes. It was supposed to
be a boon for the entire town.

936
00:40:11.117 --> 00:40:14.117
- And we could sell the surplus
to the bottling companies.

937
00:40:14.245 --> 00:40:17.205
- But weren't you supposed
to still be in beta

938
00:40:17.332 --> 00:40:18.372
on the process?

939
00:40:18.499 --> 00:40:20.169
- We-well, we were.

940
00:40:20.293 --> 00:40:22.883
- Then, why the rush, frank?

941
00:40:23.004 --> 00:40:25.724
- I told the governor
that we needed more time.

942
00:40:25.840 --> 00:40:28.130
That the pre-filters
weren't catching

943
00:40:28.259 --> 00:40:30.219
all the bio pathogens yet.

944
00:40:30.345 --> 00:40:34.015
But he- he insisted that we
roll it out before the holiday

945
00:40:34.140 --> 00:40:36.230
so he could squeeze it
into the q2 budget.

946
00:40:36.351 --> 00:40:37.441
- And by "insisted,"

947
00:40:37.560 --> 00:40:39.730
I'm sure you mean he
gave you a huge kickback.

948
00:40:39.854 --> 00:40:41.154
- How were we supposed
to know that it was

949
00:40:41.272 --> 00:40:43.692
gonna be a banner year
for the ichabod virus?

950
00:40:43.816 --> 00:40:47.236
The same thing that wiped out
the indigenous wakanabi Indians?

951
00:40:47.362 --> 00:40:48.992
- Wabenaki Indians, pop.

952
00:40:49.113 --> 00:40:50.283
- Wabenaki Indians.

953
00:40:50.406 --> 00:40:51.696
- I'm supposed to
be proud of you,

954
00:40:51.824 --> 00:40:54.284
that you wiped out the entire
population of our town?

955
00:40:54.410 --> 00:40:56.370
- You see that?
You always go to the negative.

956
00:40:56.496 --> 00:40:57.706
- I'm proud of you, pop.
- Always.

957
00:40:57.830 --> 00:40:59.790
- Population or no population.

958
00:40:59.916 --> 00:41:01.496
- Come on.
Relax now, babe.

959
00:41:01.626 --> 00:41:03.956
We've got some
catching up to do.

960
00:41:04.087 --> 00:41:07.417
- Okay. Well, jeeze,
it's been a hoot,

961
00:41:07.548 --> 00:41:09.628
but I think I need to
skedaddle down the road.

962
00:41:09.759 --> 00:41:11.299
- No, Deb. Wait.

963
00:41:11.427 --> 00:41:12.887
- Why, Ryan?

964
00:41:13.012 --> 00:41:15.062
- You can't go back out there.

965
00:41:15.181 --> 00:41:17.561
My dad arranged a helicopter
for us in the morning.

966
00:41:17.684 --> 00:41:20.854
Plus, you must be exhausted.
We hardly slept last night.

967
00:41:20.979 --> 00:41:22.359
- You know those times
when you can taste

968
00:41:22.480 --> 00:41:23.400
your own stomach acid?

969
00:41:23.523 --> 00:41:24.943
I have that right now.

970
00:41:25.066 --> 00:41:26.526
- I know what you mean.

971
00:41:26.651 --> 00:41:29.401
- You know, I'm gonna be
just fine, chief.

972
00:41:29.529 --> 00:41:30.659
This was the deal.

973
00:41:30.780 --> 00:41:35.280
We got you here, and now I'm
gonna get on to my own family.

974
00:41:36.828 --> 00:41:39.328
Thanks for the mammories.

975
00:41:40.540 --> 00:41:43.330
- Nobody's going anywhere!

976
00:41:43.751 --> 00:41:46.551
Till they taste one of my
freedom brownies.

977
00:41:46.671 --> 00:41:49.471
Chaz, give this to topper?

978
00:41:49.590 --> 00:41:53.220
- You got it, pop.
- For close range kills.

979
00:41:54.929 --> 00:41:57.259
Stay.

980
00:41:57.390 --> 00:42:00.520
The brownies are a
4th of July tradition

981
00:42:00.643 --> 00:42:03.193
that we started when
Ryan's mother was alive.

982
00:42:03.312 --> 00:42:04.862
You remind me of her,
in a way.

983
00:42:04.981 --> 00:42:07.611
- I think we did that,
like, twice.

984
00:42:07.734 --> 00:42:10.114
- Well, if it means
that much to you... of course.

985
00:42:10.236 --> 00:42:11.696
- Yes.

986
00:42:13.031 --> 00:42:14.321
- Ooh...

987
00:42:14.449 --> 00:42:18.699
- Hmm?
- You guys. That is-

988
00:42:18.828 --> 00:42:21.248
so... good.

989
00:42:21.372 --> 00:42:22.922
- I'm surprised Chaz
hasn't added creatine

990
00:42:23.041 --> 00:42:23.621
to his brownie yet.

991
00:42:23.750 --> 00:42:27.670
- Hey, I'm just trying to
stay strong for all of us.

992
00:42:27.795 --> 00:42:29.205
What're you gonna do
when the shit hits the fan,

993
00:42:29.338 --> 00:42:29.958
huh, little brother?

994
00:42:30.089 --> 00:42:31.549
You gonna attack 'em
with your hair dryer?

995
00:42:31.674 --> 00:42:32.684
Is that what
you're going to do?

996
00:42:32.800 --> 00:42:34.130
Huh, little brother?

997
00:42:34.260 --> 00:42:36.510
- Whoa! Stop it.
- Hey, hey, hey!

998
00:42:36.637 --> 00:42:38.217
- Noogie. Noogie
- stop it!

999
00:42:38.347 --> 00:42:38.717
- Get off me!

1000
00:42:38.848 --> 00:42:41.388
- I'm gonna give you a noogie.
- Get off of me!

1001
00:42:41.517 --> 00:42:42.887
- You guys are acting
worse than those...

1002
00:42:43.019 --> 00:42:43.769
Things out there.

1003
00:42:43.895 --> 00:42:45.645
- No. I thought they were
just ordinary citizens

1004
00:42:45.772 --> 00:42:46.562
who got a little wet.

1005
00:42:46.689 --> 00:42:47.979
- Shut up,
you little piss-ant.

1006
00:42:48.107 --> 00:42:49.437
- I'm gonna wet Willy him,
pop!

1007
00:42:49.567 --> 00:42:50.987
- I got him!
- Hey, come on!

1008
00:42:51.110 --> 00:42:53.200
- You numbskulls.
You idiots.

1009
00:42:53.321 --> 00:42:55.451
If your mother- stop it!
- I got him.

1010
00:42:55.573 --> 00:42:57.413
- He can't get up, I got him.
- Stop it!

1011
00:42:57.533 --> 00:42:57.993
- He's trapped.

1012
00:42:58.117 --> 00:43:00.287
- "Through the night
rode Paul revere

1013
00:43:00.411 --> 00:43:04.831
and so through the night
went his cry of alarm

1014
00:43:04.957 --> 00:43:08.207
through every middlesex
village and farm

1015
00:43:08.336 --> 00:43:12.836
a cry of defiance,
and not of fear!"

1016
00:43:13.049 --> 00:43:14.549
- What the bejeezus was that?

1017
00:43:14.675 --> 00:43:16.545
- That was longfellow.
Deb's favorite.

1018
00:43:16.677 --> 00:43:18.797
- Ah, longfellow.
You know he's from here.

1019
00:43:18.930 --> 00:43:21.220
Maine.
Portland.

1020
00:43:21.349 --> 00:43:24.769
- You know,
maybe it's not my place, but

1021
00:43:24.894 --> 00:43:27.104
you guys are with family.

1022
00:43:27.230 --> 00:43:29.690
We're lucky we're even alive.

1023
00:43:29.816 --> 00:43:31.776
- You see that, boys?

1024
00:43:31.901 --> 00:43:33.991
The little redhead's right!

1025
00:43:34.112 --> 00:43:35.992
It's the 4th of July,
for god's sake.

1026
00:43:36.114 --> 00:43:38.834
- You're right.
Yeah.

1027
00:43:38.950 --> 00:43:41.080
Let's blow some shit up, yeah?

1028
00:43:41.202 --> 00:43:42.292
- Yeah?

1029
00:43:45.790 --> 00:43:46.790
- Wait for it.

1030
00:43:46.916 --> 00:43:48.326
- Now?
- Wait for it.

1031
00:43:48.459 --> 00:43:49.999
- Yeah.
- Here comes the good part.

1032
00:43:50.128 --> 00:43:50.628
There it is.

1033
00:43:50.753 --> 00:43:53.423
- Oh wow.
- Check that out.

1034
00:43:53.548 --> 00:43:54.918
- That's great.
- Sweet.

1035
00:43:55.049 --> 00:43:56.719
Up next,
i got a big aerial display.

1036
00:43:56.843 --> 00:43:58.853
It explodes and then a
roaring bear face comes out.

1037
00:43:58.970 --> 00:44:01.260
- No, no. No, that's enough,
that's enough.

1038
00:44:01.389 --> 00:44:02.639
We don't want to attract
too much attention.

1039
00:44:02.765 --> 00:44:05.595
- What?
Dad, I got all these m-80s-

1040
00:44:05.726 --> 00:44:07.636
you don't want to see the bear face?!
- No.

1041
00:44:07.770 --> 00:44:09.150
No, I do not.

1042
00:44:09.272 --> 00:44:12.022
- - I shouldn't
have even let you do this one.

1043
00:44:12.150 --> 00:44:16.150
Okay everybody, drink up.
I'm gonna turn in.

1044
00:44:16.279 --> 00:44:18.319
We have to have our wits
about us in the morning, so-

1045
00:44:18.447 --> 00:44:20.407
- ooh, quick question.
- Yeah?

1046
00:44:20.533 --> 00:44:22.083
- Where's everyone sleeping?

1047
00:44:22.201 --> 00:44:23.791
Oh.

1048
00:44:23.911 --> 00:44:27.161
Well, Ryan and Stacy will
stay in Ryan's old room,

1049
00:44:27.290 --> 00:44:31.340
and Deborah, over there,
how you doing there, hon?

1050
00:44:31.460 --> 00:44:32.340
- I'm fine.

1051
00:44:32.461 --> 00:44:33.671
Okay.

1052
00:44:33.796 --> 00:44:35.796
She's gonna be in your room.
Alright?

1053
00:44:35.923 --> 00:44:38.013
And you're gonna
stand watch with topper.

1054
00:44:38.134 --> 00:44:40.224
- Mmm. - Come on. Walk with me.

1055
00:44:40.344 --> 00:44:42.684
- Humph.
- Walk with me, Chaz.

1056
00:44:42.805 --> 00:44:45.095
- Come.
- Uh.

1057
00:44:46.475 --> 00:44:48.725
- Come on.

1058
00:44:49.312 --> 00:44:51.522
I'm so glad you're
home safe, babe.

1059
00:44:51.647 --> 00:44:54.607
- Yeah. Thanks.

1060
00:45:01.282 --> 00:45:02.832
- I'm gonna need
your help with Ryan

1061
00:45:02.950 --> 00:45:03.530
in the morning.

1062
00:45:03.659 --> 00:45:04.579
- How do you mean?

1063
00:45:04.702 --> 00:45:06.662
- His new friend
isn't coming with us.

1064
00:45:06.787 --> 00:45:07.747
- The adorable little
ginger girl?

1065
00:45:07.872 --> 00:45:09.502
- I'm sure he'll throw
a hissy fit.

1066
00:45:09.624 --> 00:45:12.674
- How- how are we gonna
sneak out without her?

1067
00:45:12.793 --> 00:45:14.883
- I put enough horse
tranquilizer in that brownie

1068
00:45:15.004 --> 00:45:16.554
to keep her sleeping
through August.

1069
00:45:16.672 --> 00:45:19.012
I'm surprised she's even still on her feet.
- Yeah.

1070
00:45:19.133 --> 00:45:22.433
- I'm sure she'll be going
down for the count soon.

1071
00:45:23.471 --> 00:45:26.391
Hey, don't go soft
on me now, boy.

1072
00:45:26.515 --> 00:45:27.675
She works for the news,

1073
00:45:27.808 --> 00:45:30.308
we don't want her doing some
story on the water supply.

1074
00:45:30.436 --> 00:45:31.686
- No.
- No.

1075
00:45:31.812 --> 00:45:36.312
Sometimes, you gotta put your
own oxygen mask on first.

1076
00:45:37.693 --> 00:45:40.113
- Hmm?
- Put my oxygen mask on first?

1077
00:45:40.238 --> 00:45:41.238
- Right.

1078
00:45:41.364 --> 00:45:42.534
- First.
- Ow.

1079
00:45:42.657 --> 00:45:43.947
- Alright.

1080
00:45:44.992 --> 00:45:46.622
And Chaz?
- Yeah, pop?

1081
00:45:46.744 --> 00:45:48.584
- Stop trying to bang Stacy.

1082
00:45:48.704 --> 00:45:50.584
Once was enough.

1083
00:45:50.706 --> 00:45:52.076
- If only it was.

1084
00:45:52.208 --> 00:45:56.298
- Oh, don't you tell me you're
falling in love with her.

1085
00:45:56.420 --> 00:45:58.800
Ryan's back.
Be realistic.

1086
00:45:58.923 --> 00:45:59.213
- What?

1087
00:45:59.340 --> 00:46:01.550
Is it totally unrealistic
to think that I could be

1088
00:46:01.676 --> 00:46:03.426
the special one for once?

1089
00:46:03.552 --> 00:46:05.432
I mean, what's he got
that I don't got?

1090
00:46:05.554 --> 00:46:06.894
Besides your great eyes.

1091
00:46:07.014 --> 00:46:09.064
- You gotta stay focused, boy.
- Uh-huh.

1092
00:46:09.183 --> 00:46:10.893
- You hear me? Stay focused.
- Okay.

1093
00:46:11.018 --> 00:46:12.058
- We gotta keep
our shit straight

1094
00:46:12.186 --> 00:46:12.976
if we're gonna make it
through this thing.

1095
00:46:13.104 --> 00:46:15.194
- Keep our shit straight.
- Keep it straight.

1096
00:46:15.314 --> 00:46:16.404
- Keep it straight.

1097
00:46:16.524 --> 00:46:17.734
Thanks, pop.
- Yeah.

1098
00:46:17.858 --> 00:46:18.728
- Thanks for the rap, pop.
- Okay.

1099
00:46:18.859 --> 00:46:20.689
Okay.

1100
00:46:20.820 --> 00:46:22.150
Okay.

1101
00:46:22.280 --> 00:46:23.410
Okay! Alright.

1102
00:46:23.531 --> 00:46:26.991
Now you better get back to your post.
- Okay.

1103
00:46:43.426 --> 00:46:45.086
- "Portland's water
runs through him"?

1104
00:46:45.219 --> 00:46:47.349
Ew.
Gross.

1105
00:46:51.058 --> 00:46:54.308
- I think you can forgo
your sit-ups tonight.

1106
00:46:56.063 --> 00:46:58.523
I'll give you a workout.

1107
00:46:58.649 --> 00:47:02.069
- Wow.
Uh. Stacy-

1108
00:47:02.194 --> 00:47:04.074
- I'm talking about sex.

1109
00:47:04.196 --> 00:47:05.106
- No, I know.

1110
00:47:05.239 --> 00:47:07.989
Um, I'm gonna sleep here
on the floor, alright?

1111
00:47:08.117 --> 00:47:09.197
You take the bed.

1112
00:47:09.327 --> 00:47:11.077
A let's happened since
you broke up with me.

1113
00:47:11.203 --> 00:47:13.003
- Are you gonna keep
throwing that in my face?

1114
00:47:13.122 --> 00:47:15.422
- No. Hey, look,
we need to talk, alright?

1115
00:47:15.541 --> 00:47:18.251
I think you were right
to dump me.

1116
00:47:18.377 --> 00:47:20.587
- Ryan, you need to stop
being a martyr, okay?

1117
00:47:20.713 --> 00:47:22.173
This is a sure thing.

1118
00:47:22.298 --> 00:47:24.048
Just relax.

1119
00:47:24.175 --> 00:47:26.255
- No, wait,
i, I, I, I mean-

1120
00:47:26.385 --> 00:47:28.715
I'm saying...
We want different things.

1121
00:47:28.846 --> 00:47:29.806
- Oh, really?

1122
00:47:29.930 --> 00:47:32.270
And what do you want?
That nerd?

1123
00:47:32.391 --> 00:47:33.561
- Could you keep
your voice down?

1124
00:47:33.684 --> 00:47:34.984
- What does she do
for you, Ryan?

1125
00:47:35.102 --> 00:47:36.272
She ride you like this?

1126
00:47:36.395 --> 00:47:37.645
Like, oh yeah!

1127
00:47:37.772 --> 00:47:39.442
Oh, Ryan!
You're the best!

1128
00:47:39.565 --> 00:47:41.435
Oh, yes. Oh, <i>Ryan!</i>

1129
00:47:41.567 --> 00:47:43.397
<i>Oh yes.
You're the best!</i>

1130
00:47:43.527 --> 00:47:46.067
<i>Oh yeah, Ryan!
Oh yeah!</i>

1131
00:47:46.197 --> 00:47:48.867
<i>Oh yes!
Oh, take me to comic-con!</i>

1132
00:47:48.991 --> 00:47:50.831
<i>Oh, yeah! Oh, Ryan!</i>

1133
00:47:50.951 --> 00:47:52.701
<i>Oh yes!
- Stop it! Cut it out!</i>

1134
00:47:52.828 --> 00:47:54.788
<i>Oh yea ' h, r oh!' Van!</i>

1135
00:47:54.914 --> 00:47:58.084
<i>Oh, yeah. Oh, Ryan.
Oh yeah.</i>

1136
00:47:58.209 --> 00:48:00.709
- Yeah, Ryan! I shop at target!
- Stop it! Cut it out!

1137
00:48:00.836 --> 00:48:01.706
Shh.

1138
00:48:01.837 --> 00:48:04.967
- Oh yeah, Ryan...

1139
00:48:05.091 --> 00:48:06.931
<i>Oh yeah. Oh, Ryan!</i>

1140
00:48:07.051 --> 00:48:08.801
<i>Oh yes! Yes!
- Cut it out!</i>

1141
00:48:08.928 --> 00:48:11.508
" <i>Oh yeah, Ryan!
Oh, yeah!</i>

1142
00:48:11.639 --> 00:48:14.059
<i>Oh yes!
Oh, take me to comic-con!</i>

1143
00:48:14.183 --> 00:48:15.233
<i>Oh yes!</i>

1144
00:48:15.351 --> 00:48:18.351
<i>- Oh, Ryan! Oh yes!
- Cut it out!</i>

1145
00:48:18.479 --> 00:48:22.109
<i>- Oh yeah! Oh yeah!
- Stacy, stop! Stacy, stop!</i>

1146
00:48:22.233 --> 00:48:26.363
<i>- Oh, yeah! Oh, yeah!
- Stop! Stop! Please!</i>

1147
00:48:26.487 --> 00:48:28.657
<i>- Oh, yes! Oh, Ryan!</i>

1148
00:48:28.781 --> 00:48:30.701
I only wear vintage clothes!
- Shh. Shh.

1149
00:48:30.825 --> 00:48:32.365
You're acting insane.

1150
00:48:33.994 --> 00:48:35.454
- What the-

1151
00:48:35.579 --> 00:48:39.289
if that cooze let out my cats
so help me!

1152
00:48:58.561 --> 00:48:59.941
Trixie?

1153
00:49:00.062 --> 00:49:01.562
<i>Mayhem]?</i>

1154
00:49:01.689 --> 00:49:02.609
Trixie?!

1155
00:49:05.234 --> 00:49:06.904
Oh!

1156
00:49:07.027 --> 00:49:07.937
Chaz!

1157
00:49:09.447 --> 00:49:10.527
- Ryan!
- What?

1158
00:49:10.656 --> 00:49:12.066
- The bastards have
surrounded the house!

1159
00:49:12.199 --> 00:49:13.949
Time to put on your
big boy pants, son!

1160
00:49:14.076 --> 00:49:15.196
- Dad, you don't
have to talk to me

1161
00:49:15.327 --> 00:49:17.947
like I'm some kind of kid.

1162
00:49:19.748 --> 00:49:20.828
- Aim high.

1163
00:49:20.958 --> 00:49:22.668
And I'm not talking
about life goals...

1164
00:49:22.793 --> 00:49:24.043
Shoot them in the head.

1165
00:49:24.170 --> 00:49:24.920
Let's move!

1166
00:49:25.045 --> 00:49:26.755
- Stacy,

1167
00:49:26.881 --> 00:49:28.471
how could you do that to me?

1168
00:49:30.593 --> 00:49:32.263
Didn't last night
mean anything to you?

1169
00:49:32.386 --> 00:49:34.846
- Yeah, of course it did!

1170
00:49:34.972 --> 00:49:35.812
I think.

1171
00:49:38.017 --> 00:49:41.477
But, you know, Ryan is just
so good-looking, you know?

1172
00:49:44.106 --> 00:49:45.976
That one's coming fast, Chaz.

1173
00:49:46.108 --> 00:49:47.478
Chaz?

1174
00:49:47.610 --> 00:49:48.990
Chaz, that one's
coming kinda fast!

1175
00:49:49.111 --> 00:49:49.741
Chaz?!

1176
00:49:49.862 --> 00:49:52.532
Ah! Ah!
Ow!

1177
00:49:52.656 --> 00:49:54.486
Ah! Stop it!

1178
00:49:54.617 --> 00:49:57.577
I'm too pretty to die!

1179
00:49:59.830 --> 00:50:02.330
Zombie bastards!

1180
00:50:06.420 --> 00:50:08.000
- Yeah, that a boy.
Good job.

1181
00:50:08.130 --> 00:50:09.970
Chaz!
Look out behind you!

1182
00:50:10.090 --> 00:50:12.840
"Ah!

1183
00:50:14.637 --> 00:50:15.847
- He's been bit.
- Oh no, Chaz.

1184
00:50:15.971 --> 00:50:17.721
- He's been bit.
Get him on the couch.

1185
00:50:17.848 --> 00:50:19.848
I'll take care of the door.

1186
00:50:21.310 --> 00:50:25.560
<i>♪ I am not impressed
by your puzzle</i>

1187
00:50:26.815 --> 00:50:31.315
<i>♪ I have already figured out I</i>

1188
00:50:32.196 --> 00:50:34.106
what the-?

1189
00:50:35.574 --> 00:50:38.794
On!
Oh, god. Ruby!

1190
00:50:41.205 --> 00:50:44.535
Honey, I'm so sorry.

1191
00:50:44.667 --> 00:50:47.537
I completely forgot
you were in there.

1192
00:50:47.670 --> 00:50:49.960
What the-?
Sh-

1193
00:50:50.089 --> 00:50:54.429
oh, I must be the most
selfish person in the world.

1194
00:50:55.344 --> 00:50:56.554
Here I am,

1195
00:50:56.679 --> 00:50:58.599
acting like I'm doing you
some kind of favor

1196
00:50:58.722 --> 00:51:01.142
by keeping you alive.

1197
00:51:01.267 --> 00:51:04.977
Deluding myself that there might
actually be a cure for this.

1198
00:51:05.104 --> 00:51:07.824
But really I just...

1199
00:51:07.940 --> 00:51:10.860
I can't bring myself
to end it for you.

1200
00:51:14.822 --> 00:51:18.372
I never would have
talked to Ryan without you.

1201
00:51:18.492 --> 00:51:22.992
And though I deeply
regret meeting that

1202
00:51:24.123 --> 00:51:26.673
elitist man-whore...

1203
00:51:26.792 --> 00:51:31.292
For one night, damn it,
i lived, Ruby.

1204
00:51:31.922 --> 00:51:33.922
I lived.

1205
00:51:39.555 --> 00:51:41.555
What the ding-dong?

1206
00:51:43.851 --> 00:51:46.271
- Look sharp, people!

1207
00:51:48.647 --> 00:51:51.567
- Hi, could you shut it off,
please?

1208
00:51:51.692 --> 00:51:53.192
Shut it down-
thank you.

1209
00:51:53.319 --> 00:51:55.069
- Hi.
- Good morning.

1210
00:51:55.195 --> 00:51:57.275
Good morning.

1211
00:51:57.406 --> 00:51:59.446
- So I guess you guys
have heard about

1212
00:51:59.575 --> 00:52:01.785
the zombies in town.

1213
00:52:01.910 --> 00:52:02.580
- Zombies?
Zombies?!

1214
00:52:02.703 --> 00:52:05.003
Guys, she says
there's zombies.

1215
00:52:05.122 --> 00:52:06.412
Yeah, we've heard about
the zombies.

1216
00:52:06.540 --> 00:52:08.170
That's why we're here.

1217
00:52:08.292 --> 00:52:09.882
So if you wouldn't mind
taking the keys out

1218
00:52:10.002 --> 00:52:11.592
and coming inside that tent...

1219
00:52:11.712 --> 00:52:12.552
We got a little bit of coffee

1220
00:52:12.671 --> 00:52:14.511
and a whole lot of
questions for you.

1221
00:52:15.507 --> 00:52:17.087
If we're gonna be
honest here,

1222
00:52:17.217 --> 00:52:19.007
I was really looking forward
to putting some distance

1223
00:52:19.136 --> 00:52:21.216
between me and this town.

1224
00:52:21.347 --> 00:52:23.557
I get it. I get it.

1225
00:52:23.682 --> 00:52:26.022
You're like "who's this
powerful muckety-muck

1226
00:52:26.143 --> 00:52:27.273
trying to cramp my style,

1227
00:52:27.394 --> 00:52:29.444
when all I wanna do
is try on lipstick,

1228
00:52:29.563 --> 00:52:31.573
and chase guys,
and get as far as I can

1229
00:52:31.690 --> 00:52:33.730
from those gosh-darn
flesh-eaters."

1230
00:52:33.859 --> 00:52:34.729
Am I right?

1231
00:52:34.860 --> 00:52:37.200
- If I say "yes,"
will you let me go?

1232
00:52:37.321 --> 00:52:39.781
- Let me put it this way.

1233
00:52:46.872 --> 00:52:49.832
That's a no.

1234
00:52:49.958 --> 00:52:52.748
<i>N'</i>

1235
00:52:57.841 --> 00:53:00.641
- hey, I got some
John cougar mellencamp.

1236
00:53:00.761 --> 00:53:02.391
That always used
to cheer you up.

1237
00:53:02.513 --> 00:53:04.523
- It's just John mellencamp
now, dad.

1238
00:53:04.640 --> 00:53:08.230
And I haven't listened to him
on purpose in twenty years.

1239
00:53:08.352 --> 00:53:11.772
- Son, I liked Stacy.

1240
00:53:11.897 --> 00:53:13.817
Although I'm not sure
that she was the girl

1241
00:53:13.941 --> 00:53:16.231
your mother would have
wanted you to marry...

1242
00:53:16.360 --> 00:53:19.910
I am sorry she got
her brains eaten.

1243
00:53:20.030 --> 00:53:21.240
- Don't do this, dad.

1244
00:53:21.365 --> 00:53:23.115
- Do what?
I'm just being real here.

1245
00:53:23.242 --> 00:53:24.952
- I'm not ready
to be cool with you.

1246
00:53:25.077 --> 00:53:26.287
- Oh, good.

1247
00:53:26.412 --> 00:53:30.422
You think I wanted
any of this, huh?

1248
00:53:30.541 --> 00:53:33.041
Look at Chaz back there.

1249
00:53:33.168 --> 00:53:34.918
When he turns,

1250
00:53:35.045 --> 00:53:38.005
who do you think's gonna
have to put him down?

1251
00:53:38.966 --> 00:53:40.756
For all of his faults
i loved that boy

1252
00:53:40.884 --> 00:53:43.224
like he was my own son.

1253
00:53:44.555 --> 00:53:45.755
- What do you mean?

1254
00:53:45.889 --> 00:53:47.639
- Well, Chaz was adopted.

1255
00:53:47.766 --> 00:53:49.426
You knew that, right?

1256
00:53:49.560 --> 00:53:50.980
- Son of a bitch.
He was adopted?

1257
00:53:51.103 --> 00:53:52.153
- Bottom line is,

1258
00:53:52.271 --> 00:53:53.611
you and i
have to stay positive

1259
00:53:53.731 --> 00:53:54.861
and remember how
fortunate we are

1260
00:53:54.982 --> 00:53:56.442
to be in the governor's
good graces.

1261
00:53:56.567 --> 00:53:57.727
- Fortunate?
- Yes.

1262
00:53:57.860 --> 00:53:59.820
- If you weren't so deep into
the governor's "good graces,"

1263
00:53:59.945 --> 00:54:01.565
we wouldn't be in this mess.

1264
00:54:01.697 --> 00:54:04.367
- Well, we're almost out of it,
okay?

1265
00:54:06.702 --> 00:54:09.502
Ow. God-

1266
00:54:10.330 --> 00:54:12.120
buy a girl a drink first,
will ya?

1267
00:54:12.249 --> 00:54:14.169
- I'm sorry about
that business there.

1268
00:54:14.293 --> 00:54:15.043
Sincerely.

1269
00:54:15.169 --> 00:54:16.709
- I'm not infected.

1270
00:54:16.837 --> 00:54:18.837
I wasn't bitten.
- I know, Deb.

1271
00:54:18.964 --> 00:54:19.804
I know.

1272
00:54:19.923 --> 00:54:22.553
We just have protocols
we have to follow.

1273
00:54:22.676 --> 00:54:24.926
- You guys aren't real
military, are you?

1274
00:54:25.053 --> 00:54:26.603
- What is "real"?

1275
00:54:26.722 --> 00:54:30.102
Is "real" like a construct
of our own subconscious?

1276
00:54:30.225 --> 00:54:32.765
Or... is this "real"?

1277
00:54:32.895 --> 00:54:34.685
Is it "real"?

1278
00:54:34.813 --> 00:54:36.403
Are any of us "real"?
- Yeah.

1279
00:54:36.523 --> 00:54:38.153
The rest of us are real.

1280
00:54:38.275 --> 00:54:39.685
- Alright, we're
a private security firm,

1281
00:54:39.818 --> 00:54:40.988
hired to handle this situation.

1282
00:54:41.111 --> 00:54:43.531
- Whoa! Well, you guys
are doing a bang-up job!

1283
00:54:43.655 --> 00:54:45.655
- Thank you.
- I'm being sarcastic.

1284
00:54:45.783 --> 00:54:47.913
What are you gonna do now, kill me?
- Kill you?

1285
00:54:48.035 --> 00:54:49.785
Deb!
That hurts me!

1286
00:54:49.912 --> 00:54:52.832
Come on.
I am a father, alright?

1287
00:54:52.956 --> 00:54:54.366
Look.
Look at these...

1288
00:54:54.500 --> 00:54:56.670
Look at these little...
Two little boys.

1289
00:54:56.794 --> 00:54:57.844
Those are my kids.

1290
00:54:57.961 --> 00:54:59.881
They are adorable, right?
- Yeah.

1291
00:55:00.005 --> 00:55:01.125
- Now could I go back

1292
00:55:01.256 --> 00:55:03.086
and look at these little
angels in their eyes

1293
00:55:03.217 --> 00:55:04.467
with murder on my brain?

1294
00:55:04.593 --> 00:55:06.893
I don't think so, Deb.

1295
00:55:07.012 --> 00:55:07.972
Nope.

1296
00:55:08.096 --> 00:55:10.966
Your test was negative.
You are free to go.

1297
00:55:11.099 --> 00:55:12.309
- Oh.

1298
00:55:12.434 --> 00:55:14.274
Awesomesauce!

1299
00:55:14.478 --> 00:55:16.058
Okay, great.

1300
00:55:16.188 --> 00:55:18.188
Um...
Oh, if you could just, uh,

1301
00:55:18.315 --> 00:55:21.105
get rid of that road block,
I'll be on my way.

1302
00:55:21.235 --> 00:55:22.945
Oh, sorry.

1303
00:55:23.070 --> 00:55:24.950
I might have been a
little confusing there.

1304
00:55:25.072 --> 00:55:26.742
You're free to go back.

1305
00:55:26.865 --> 00:55:27.985
- Wait, I'm sorry. "Back"?

1306
00:55:28.116 --> 00:55:29.736
- Yeah.
Back to where you came from.

1307
00:55:29.868 --> 00:55:31.238
You can't ever leave that town

1308
00:55:31.370 --> 00:55:33.250
on kind of a "forever"
type basis.

1309
00:55:33.372 --> 00:55:34.502
- Forever?

1310
00:55:34.623 --> 00:55:38.543
So, you're just gonna wall
us all in with those things?

1311
00:55:38.669 --> 00:55:40.339
That's a fate worse than death!

1312
00:55:40.462 --> 00:55:42.922
You gonna tell that
to your two lame-o kids?

1313
00:55:43.048 --> 00:55:45.128
- They're four and six, Deb.

1314
00:55:45.259 --> 00:55:46.969
They wouldn't understand
the moral complexity

1315
00:55:47.094 --> 00:55:48.184
of that situation.

1316
00:55:48.303 --> 00:55:49.853
- Portland may be a small town,

1317
00:55:49.972 --> 00:55:52.222
but people are gonna
notice if we disappear.

1318
00:55:52.349 --> 00:55:54.559
- The official story
is radiation leak.

1319
00:55:54.685 --> 00:55:56.685
I don't think people are
gonna be champing at the bit

1320
00:55:56.812 --> 00:55:58.902
to go check it out for
themselves, believe you me.

1321
00:55:59.022 --> 00:56:01.152
- You're not gonna
get away with this.

1322
00:56:01.275 --> 00:56:02.725
There...

1323
00:56:02.860 --> 00:56:04.150
People-
people are gonna talk.

1324
00:56:04.278 --> 00:56:06.318
There's- there's social media.
There's...

1325
00:56:06.446 --> 00:56:08.906
There's like, twerking.
Myface.

1326
00:56:09.032 --> 00:56:10.622
- I don't think you've
noticed but...

1327
00:56:10.742 --> 00:56:12.122
The Internet's shut down

1328
00:56:12.244 --> 00:56:13.334
and cell phones.

1329
00:56:13.453 --> 00:56:15.713
Deb, you would've had a better
chance of getting out of here

1330
00:56:15.831 --> 00:56:16.831
if you were infected.

1331
00:56:16.957 --> 00:56:18.997
They're looking for case
studies out there right now,

1332
00:56:19.126 --> 00:56:21.626
trying to figure out
how to stop this thing.

1333
00:56:21.753 --> 00:56:23.423
- Wait! Wait!

1334
00:56:23.547 --> 00:56:24.667
I know frank waverly.

1335
00:56:24.798 --> 00:56:26.628
The governor is
sending him a helicopter

1336
00:56:26.758 --> 00:56:28.128
and I'm supposed to be on it.

1337
00:56:28.260 --> 00:56:29.680
- You know frank waverly?

1338
00:56:29.803 --> 00:56:31.353
- Yeah.

1339
00:56:31.471 --> 00:56:34.931
Yeah, I do.

1340
00:56:36.310 --> 00:56:39.060
- The rendezvous point
is right up ahead here.

1341
00:56:39.187 --> 00:56:40.227
Throw a blanket
over your brother.

1342
00:56:40.355 --> 00:56:42.565
We don't want to
scare anybody.

1343
00:56:46.361 --> 00:56:47.701
- Oh god.
He looks terrible.

1344
00:56:47.821 --> 00:56:50.701
- Oh jeeze.
- God.

1345
00:56:55.913 --> 00:56:57.543
Whoa.
Deb's car!

1346
00:56:57.664 --> 00:56:59.624
She's here!
I hope she's okay.

1347
00:56:59.750 --> 00:57:01.590
- Was that girl ever okay?

1348
00:57:01.710 --> 00:57:03.710
Now let me do the talking.

1349
00:57:03.879 --> 00:57:06.339
- Some say shooting a gun
is like an orgasm,

1350
00:57:06.465 --> 00:57:08.795
that must be why it's harder
for women to shoot gun-

1351
00:57:08.926 --> 00:57:10.426
- what the hell
is going on here?!

1352
00:57:10.552 --> 00:57:12.682
- Oh. Well, if it isn't
don Juan DeMarco.

1353
00:57:12.804 --> 00:57:14.514
- No. No, that wasn't
what it sounded like.

1354
00:57:14.640 --> 00:57:16.560
- Cop a squat here,
one direction.

1355
00:57:16.683 --> 00:57:19.353
- I have very classic,
masculine features, sir.

1356
00:57:20.312 --> 00:57:21.562
- Why is she restrained?

1357
00:57:21.688 --> 00:57:23.358
- Ah.
You must be frank waverly.

1358
00:57:23.482 --> 00:57:25.362
- And you must be fond
of digging ditches.

1359
00:57:25.484 --> 00:57:26.364
Because that's what
you're gonna be doing

1360
00:57:26.485 --> 00:57:28.025
if I don't get some
goddamn answers.

1361
00:57:28.153 --> 00:57:28.993
Now, you know the
governor is sending-

1362
00:57:29.112 --> 00:57:31.782
- ls sending a helicopter.
Yeah. I know.

1363
00:57:31.907 --> 00:57:33.117
- Hello, frank.

1364
00:57:33.241 --> 00:57:36.081
I thought I owed it to you
to do this face to face.

1365
00:57:36.203 --> 00:57:37.543
You're not going anywhere.

1366
00:57:37.663 --> 00:57:40.123
- Governor!
Why?

1367
00:57:40.248 --> 00:57:41.618
- We screwed the pooch, frank.

1368
00:57:41.750 --> 00:57:43.210
Well, you did.

1369
00:57:43.335 --> 00:57:45.085
At least that's how
history is gonna show it.

1370
00:57:45.212 --> 00:57:47.212
- I have volumes
of documentation.

1371
00:57:47.339 --> 00:57:49.669
This whole thing
was on your demand!

1372
00:57:49.800 --> 00:57:51.090
- No. My people
are at your home

1373
00:57:51.218 --> 00:57:52.468
and your office right now.

1374
00:57:52.594 --> 00:57:54.804
I don't think documentation
is gonna be much of a problem.

1375
00:57:54.930 --> 00:57:56.470
- Well, you self-serving
son of a-

1376
00:57:56.598 --> 00:57:58.808
uh!

1377
00:58:05.273 --> 00:58:07.023
Let the young ones go.

1378
00:58:07.150 --> 00:58:08.690
They had no part in this.

1379
00:58:08.819 --> 00:58:11.029
- I wish I could, frank.

1380
00:58:11.154 --> 00:58:11.954
Colonel Newton?

1381
00:58:12.072 --> 00:58:15.202
I think you saw these three
try to rush the border.

1382
00:58:15.325 --> 00:58:18.485
I think you had to use some
extreme measures to stop them.

1383
00:58:18.620 --> 00:58:20.370
And I think you succeeded.

1384
00:58:20.497 --> 00:58:22.117
- Sir.

1385
00:58:22.749 --> 00:58:24.709
- Goodbye, frank.

1386
00:58:24.876 --> 00:58:26.036
- Wait.

1387
00:58:26.169 --> 00:58:28.209
My dad has more than
enough motivation

1388
00:58:28.338 --> 00:58:29.298
to keep quiet.

1389
00:58:29.423 --> 00:58:30.923
And I'm his son.
- So?

1390
00:58:31.049 --> 00:58:33.589
- So, the only wild card
here is her.

1391
00:58:33.719 --> 00:58:34.639
She's a reporter.

1392
00:58:34.761 --> 00:58:36.351
Wait. I'm not a reporter.

1393
00:58:36.471 --> 00:58:38.261
I mean, I would like
to be a reporter,

1394
00:58:38.390 --> 00:58:40.930
I'm trying to be a reporter-
- she films everything.

1395
00:58:41.059 --> 00:58:42.639
She's documented
this whole disaster

1396
00:58:42.769 --> 00:58:44.649
with this tiny little
hidden camera.

1397
00:58:44.771 --> 00:58:46.941
Somebody's gonna find
that footage one day.

1398
00:58:47.065 --> 00:58:49.185
Wouldn't you like to get
your hands on it right now?

1399
00:58:49.317 --> 00:58:51.987
- I patted her down myself,
i did not find a camera.

1400
00:58:52.112 --> 00:58:53.612
- Deb, just give it up.

1401
00:58:53.739 --> 00:58:55.619
They're gonna search
Otis eventually.

1402
00:58:55.741 --> 00:58:56.911
- Otis!

1403
00:58:57.034 --> 00:58:58.164
That's her car.

1404
00:58:58.285 --> 00:58:59.945
The footage is in her car!
Let's go!

1405
00:59:00.078 --> 00:59:02.038
You, with me!

1406
00:59:02.622 --> 00:59:04.462
The car!

1407
00:59:05.167 --> 00:59:07.917
I've got the glove box.
Dekker, you pop the hood.

1408
00:59:08.045 --> 00:59:09.045
- Try the trunk!

1409
00:59:09.171 --> 00:59:12.721
- No!
Not the trunk.

1410
00:59:12.924 --> 00:59:13.934
- Pop it.

1411
00:59:14.051 --> 00:59:15.801
- Uh, governor?
Sir?!

1412
00:59:15.927 --> 00:59:17.717
Mr. governor...

1413
00:59:17.846 --> 00:59:19.346
- What the- damn thing.

1414
00:59:24.519 --> 00:59:27.309
- What-? Holy shi-
oh man, oh man.

1415
00:59:27.439 --> 00:59:29.649
Get that, get that,
get that-

1416
00:59:29.775 --> 00:59:31.435
- ah.
- Uh.

1417
00:59:31.693 --> 00:59:34.783
Hey, man.
That was an accident.

1418
00:59:34.905 --> 00:59:36.155
That was a mistake, man.

1419
00:59:36.281 --> 00:59:37.781
Don't do it.
Put your gun down.

1420
00:59:37.908 --> 00:59:39.118
I didn't mean to shoot him.

1421
00:59:39.242 --> 00:59:40.412
Come on,
we know each other.

1422
00:59:40.535 --> 00:59:41.735
That was just a big mist-

1423
00:59:41.870 --> 00:59:43.580
"ah!

1424
00:59:43.705 --> 00:59:45.285
- Oh, this is all my fault.

1425
00:59:46.583 --> 00:59:47.713
- It's customary to say
something like,

1426
00:59:47.834 --> 00:59:49.344
"no no, no, no, no,
don't beat yourself up,"

1427
00:59:49.461 --> 00:59:50.341
words to that effect.

1428
00:59:50.462 --> 00:59:52.512
- Don't be too hard-
- never mind.

1429
00:59:52.631 --> 00:59:54.131
It really is my fault.

1430
00:59:54.257 --> 00:59:56.967
But I'm going to make it right,
for the two of you.

1431
00:59:57.094 --> 00:59:58.854
- What are you talking about?
- Frank?

1432
00:59:58.970 --> 01:00:00.930
- Ooh, I'm bleeding out!
Bleeding out!

1433
01:00:05.268 --> 01:00:06.938
- Come on!

1434
01:00:10.816 --> 01:00:12.106
- Ruby! No!

1435
01:00:12.234 --> 01:00:14.494
- Huh?

1436
01:00:14.903 --> 01:00:15.743
- Go. Go.

1437
01:00:15.862 --> 01:00:16.952
Lets go!
- Okay.

1438
01:00:17.072 --> 01:00:19.202
- Dad!

1439
01:00:19.324 --> 01:00:20.124
- Ryan.

1440
01:00:20.242 --> 01:00:22.332
Ryan, I shoulda been
there more for you

1441
01:00:22.452 --> 01:00:23.452
when you were growing up.

1442
01:00:23.578 --> 01:00:25.118
I could've helped you
be a little more rugged.

1443
01:00:25.247 --> 01:00:26.327
- Why are you
talking like that?

1444
01:00:26.456 --> 01:00:28.206
You're coming with us!

1445
01:00:28.333 --> 01:00:29.963
Like this?

1446
01:00:30.085 --> 01:00:31.625
I'm gone, son.

1447
01:00:31.753 --> 01:00:34.963
Bit by a zombie
in a god-awful sweater.

1448
01:00:35.090 --> 01:00:35.970
Now listen up.

1449
01:00:36.091 --> 01:00:38.051
You stay with that girl Deb.
Alright?

1450
01:00:38.176 --> 01:00:41.096
She's good for you.
She's got moxie.

1451
01:00:41.221 --> 01:00:42.721
- Head back into Portland
and stay alive

1452
01:00:42.848 --> 01:00:43.638
till this blows over.

1453
01:00:43.765 --> 01:00:44.925
I'm gonna buy you some time.

1454
01:00:45.058 --> 01:00:47.478
Go take care of her.
Go on!

1455
01:00:47.602 --> 01:00:48.852
Go!

1456
01:00:49.020 --> 01:00:49.770
Go!

1457
01:00:49.896 --> 01:00:52.726
<i>Ii</i>

1458
01:00:55.819 --> 01:00:56.949
alright, come on!

1459
01:00:57.070 --> 01:00:59.070
End it for me, you pissants!

1460
01:01:06.997 --> 01:01:10.247
My dad.

1461
01:01:10.375 --> 01:01:13.625
Chaz. Stacy.

1462
01:01:14.254 --> 01:01:16.804
I can't believe
they're all gone.

1463
01:01:16.923 --> 01:01:19.973
Nobody left to tell me
what to think,

1464
01:01:20.093 --> 01:01:23.143
or what to say...

1465
01:01:23.263 --> 01:01:26.273
It's kind of scary, actually.

1466
01:01:30.687 --> 01:01:33.227
- That time my family
was up on the roof?

1467
01:01:33.356 --> 01:01:35.776
That forth of July?
And saw my dad?

1468
01:01:35.901 --> 01:01:37.991
- Yeah?

1469
01:01:38.111 --> 01:01:41.361
- He wasn't fixing
the barbecue.

1470
01:01:41.489 --> 01:01:45.329
He was in my
neighbor's backyard,

1471
01:01:45.452 --> 01:01:48.162
with no pants.

1472
01:01:49.331 --> 01:01:53.831
He was exposing himself
to their family dog.

1473
01:01:54.169 --> 01:01:56.339
- Whoa.

1474
01:01:56.463 --> 01:01:59.923
- Apparently, he'd been
doing it for months.

1475
01:02:00.258 --> 01:02:02.638
Basset hound.

1476
01:02:04.387 --> 01:02:07.007
He moved out after that.

1477
01:02:08.892 --> 01:02:11.852
I've never told
that story to anyone.

1478
01:02:15.482 --> 01:02:18.782
- We're never gonna get
out of here, are we?

1479
01:02:18.902 --> 01:02:20.992
- Does not look like it.

1480
01:02:21.112 --> 01:02:23.242
- All the roads will be
blocked just like that one.

1481
01:02:23.365 --> 01:02:24.775
They'll be looking
for us especially.

1482
01:02:24.908 --> 01:02:26.658
- Hmm.
On the bright side:

1483
01:02:26.785 --> 01:02:29.495
No more lines at the dmv.

1484
01:02:29.955 --> 01:02:31.615
- Yeah.

1485
01:02:31.748 --> 01:02:33.458
I bet some of those workers
would be more lively

1486
01:02:33.583 --> 01:02:35.253
as zombies.

1487
01:02:35.377 --> 01:02:39.877
Mm. Organ donor.

1488
01:02:40.090 --> 01:02:41.510
Delicious!

1489
01:02:41.633 --> 01:02:43.643
What was that?

1490
01:02:43.760 --> 01:02:45.300
Is that-?
- That's my zombie.

1491
01:02:45.428 --> 01:02:47.178
- I didn't know zombies sounded like that.
- Yeah.

1492
01:02:47.305 --> 01:02:49.175
You've never heard them, right?
- No, I haven't heard them talk.

1493
01:02:52.143 --> 01:02:54.943
Oh my god.

1494
01:02:56.273 --> 01:03:00.493
Only you could make me
laugh at a time like this.

1495
01:03:00.610 --> 01:03:04.200
That's mostly what I remember
about the night that we hung out.

1496
01:03:04.322 --> 01:03:08.452
Was you just cracking me up.

1497
01:03:10.745 --> 01:03:12.825
No one thinks I'm funny.

1498
01:03:12.956 --> 01:03:17.456
They just think I'm strange
or awkward or...

1499
01:03:18.086 --> 01:03:21.166
I say the wrong thing.

1500
01:03:22.090 --> 01:03:25.380
I'm so dumb to think that i
could be an on-air anchor.

1501
01:03:25.510 --> 01:03:27.600
- I think you'd make
a great news anchor.

1502
01:03:27.721 --> 01:03:29.851
Plus, I always wanted to
slap the tan off right off of

1503
01:03:29.973 --> 01:03:32.523
Brent masters' face.

1504
01:03:38.398 --> 01:03:40.568
- Oh.

1505
01:03:43.945 --> 01:03:45.985
- Oh, my god, Ryan...

1506
01:03:46.114 --> 01:03:49.164
Ryan, we have to go.
Now.

1507
01:03:51.828 --> 01:03:53.498
- Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Where's the fire?

1508
01:03:53.621 --> 01:03:55.871
- You mentioning
Brent masters back there...

1509
01:03:55.999 --> 01:03:57.959
If the outside world could see
what's actually going on here,

1510
01:03:58.084 --> 01:03:59.594
the government would
have to do something.

1511
01:03:59.711 --> 01:04:01.671
The people would demand it.
We'd have a chance.

1512
01:04:01.796 --> 01:04:02.506
- Yeah, but how?

1513
01:04:02.630 --> 01:04:04.510
All communications
have been shut down:

1514
01:04:04.632 --> 01:04:06.932
Phone, cable, Internet,
cell towers...

1515
01:04:07.052 --> 01:04:08.972
- Not satellite.

1516
01:04:19.606 --> 01:04:21.186
Get the lead out!

1517
01:04:22.025 --> 01:04:23.855
Our signal goes out to most
of the outlying counties,

1518
01:04:23.985 --> 01:04:25.815
sometimes as far as Canada.

1519
01:04:25.945 --> 01:04:26.855
- Where is everyone, though?

1520
01:04:26.988 --> 01:04:28.028
I don't know.

1521
01:04:28.156 --> 01:04:29.196
I mean, it would be
a skeleton crew

1522
01:04:29.324 --> 01:04:30.914
because of the holiday, but...

1523
01:04:34.037 --> 01:04:36.537
The morning staff briefing.

1524
01:04:36.664 --> 01:04:39.044
Livelier than usual.

1525
01:04:39.167 --> 01:04:41.537
- Hey, that's misti Raines,
weather.

1526
01:04:41.669 --> 01:04:43.049
Still smiling.

1527
01:04:43.171 --> 01:04:44.631
- She's got so much
Botox in her face

1528
01:04:44.756 --> 01:04:47.046
I don't know if she's
ever going to decompose.

1529
01:04:47.175 --> 01:04:49.255
- And that's Jerry Chavez,
sports.

1530
01:04:49.386 --> 01:04:53.386
- Oh, and he brought his
wife's famous cupcakes.

1531
01:04:53.765 --> 01:04:55.925
Oh, Brent masters.

1532
01:04:56.059 --> 01:04:58.689
Even as a zombie,
his hair is camera perfect!

1533
01:04:58.812 --> 01:04:59.652
Oh, is he coming?

1534
01:04:59.771 --> 01:05:01.111
- Urn, yeah.

1535
01:05:01.231 --> 01:05:02.901
- He was always mean to me,

1536
01:05:03.024 --> 01:05:05.574
but I'm gonna do him proud.

1537
01:05:07.570 --> 01:05:09.950
- Okay.
Let's- let's go.

1538
01:05:12.826 --> 01:05:13.906
Control room's in here.

1539
01:05:14.035 --> 01:05:15.575
We could-
oh.

1540
01:05:24.546 --> 01:05:26.836
- We have to turn
the signal back on.

1541
01:05:26.965 --> 01:05:28.715
- Wow! You really know
what you're doing.

1542
01:05:28.842 --> 01:05:30.932
- Yeah, I have my moments,

1543
01:05:31.052 --> 01:05:32.892
despite my track record.

1544
01:05:33.012 --> 01:05:33.552
- Here?
What's this do?

1545
01:05:33.680 --> 01:05:35.600
- Okay, don't touch that.

1546
01:05:48.361 --> 01:05:49.201
And that's it,

1547
01:05:49.320 --> 01:05:52.450
you just lock the camera off
on the anchor desk.

1548
01:05:52.574 --> 01:05:54.454
- On you, right?

1549
01:05:54.576 --> 01:05:59.076
- Uh, yeah.
Yeah, I guess.

1550
01:05:59.789 --> 01:06:01.079
- What's wrong?

1551
01:06:01.207 --> 01:06:04.587
- Uh, I'm just, uh,

1552
01:06:04.711 --> 01:06:07.461
so used to working the camera.

1553
01:06:07.589 --> 01:06:10.719
Maybe I should do that, and
you can do the announcement.

1554
01:06:10.842 --> 01:06:12.762
- Deb? Listen to me.
- What?

1555
01:06:12.886 --> 01:06:15.596
- Not only is this an
insanely perfect opportunity

1556
01:06:15.722 --> 01:06:17.182
for you to live your dream,

1557
01:06:17.307 --> 01:06:20.637
but people need to know
what's happening here.

1558
01:06:20.768 --> 01:06:22.688
- What about you,
Ryan waverly?

1559
01:06:22.812 --> 01:06:24.732
Are you living your dream?

1560
01:06:24.856 --> 01:06:26.896
- I want to be
a personal life coach.

1561
01:06:27.025 --> 01:06:28.735
So yes.

1562
01:06:29.194 --> 01:06:31.324
- Well played, sir.

1563
01:06:33.823 --> 01:06:35.573
Okay.

1564
01:06:37.952 --> 01:06:38.952
You know,
I'm gonna go clean up.

1565
01:06:39.078 --> 01:06:42.038
I can't make my broadcast debut
with a scrunchie in my hair.

1566
01:06:42.165 --> 01:06:42.915
- Okay. Alright.
- Okay.

1567
01:06:43.041 --> 01:06:44.081
- I'll be here.
Hurry.

1568
01:06:44.209 --> 01:06:45.999
Okay.

1569
01:06:59.432 --> 01:07:02.312
- Deb?
Are you all-

1570
01:07:02.435 --> 01:07:04.435
right?

1571
01:07:07.023 --> 01:07:08.573
- What do you think?

1572
01:07:08.691 --> 01:07:10.861
Is this okay for camera?

1573
01:07:10.985 --> 01:07:15.485
- It's, urn...
You're perfect.

1574
01:07:16.866 --> 01:07:19.406
- I raided the
weather girl's locker.

1575
01:07:24.666 --> 01:07:26.786
Are you ready?

1576
01:07:30.213 --> 01:07:31.173
- Yeah.

1577
01:07:31.297 --> 01:07:33.967
- Okay, this is how i
always see them do it.

1578
01:07:34.092 --> 01:07:35.382
In five,

1579
01:07:35.510 --> 01:07:36.340
four,

1580
01:07:36.469 --> 01:07:38.049
three...

1581
01:07:40.181 --> 01:07:43.101
- Good afternoon,
I'm Deb clarington.

1582
01:07:43.226 --> 01:07:45.226
It was an independence day
for the ages,

1583
01:07:45.353 --> 01:07:47.483
as a bizarre disease
ran rampant through this

1584
01:07:47.605 --> 01:07:50.815
normally peaceful seaside
community yesterday.

1585
01:07:50.942 --> 01:07:52.652
<i>Homes were destroyed.</i>

1586
01:07:52.777 --> 01:07:54.897
<i>Countless family members lost...</i>

1587
01:07:55.029 --> 01:07:56.859
<i>And thousands left to wander,</i>

1588
01:07:56.990 --> 01:07:59.200
<i>in search of the only thing
that would quench their now</i>

1589
01:07:59.325 --> 01:08:01.115
<i>insatiable appetites:</i>

1590
01:08:01.244 --> 01:08:02.834
<i>Live human flesh.</i>

1591
01:08:07.083 --> 01:08:08.713
Unbelievable?

1592
01:08:08.835 --> 01:08:09.785
Maybe.

1593
01:08:09.919 --> 01:08:12.299
It certainly would be easier
to swallow the coverup story,

1594
01:08:12.422 --> 01:08:14.222
about a radiation leak.

1595
01:08:14.340 --> 01:08:16.970
Indeed for all we know,
there are only two souls left

1596
01:08:17.093 --> 01:08:20.053
uninfected in this
once happy Hamlet.

1597
01:08:20.179 --> 01:08:23.429
Is it worth sending people in
to save a fledgling newscaster

1598
01:08:23.558 --> 01:08:25.478
and her cameraman life coach?

1599
01:08:25.602 --> 01:08:29.902
Two days ago,
i might've said no.

1600
01:08:30.023 --> 01:08:32.153
But then another story broke.

1601
01:08:32.275 --> 01:08:34.645
This one easier to
believe for most...

1602
01:08:34.777 --> 01:08:36.237
But for this reporter,

1603
01:08:36.362 --> 01:08:38.782
it's the headline
of the decade:

1604
01:08:38.906 --> 01:08:42.866
"Woman falls in love."

1605
01:08:42.994 --> 01:08:46.124
<i>Sure, it happens every day,
all over the world</i>

1606
01:08:46.247 --> 01:08:47.827
<i>but not to me.</i>

1607
01:08:47.957 --> 01:08:50.377
Maybe a crisis like we have
here speeds things up a bit,

1608
01:08:50.501 --> 01:08:55.001
but I don't think it can
create something from nothing.

1609
01:08:55.465 --> 01:08:59.925
And even though this person may
not return my affections

1610
01:09:00.053 --> 01:09:04.353
and I'm really not
fishing here.

1611
01:09:04.474 --> 01:09:05.854
It's okay.

1612
01:09:05.975 --> 01:09:10.475
I'll always know, deep down,
that he felt something, too.

1613
01:09:11.397 --> 01:09:14.187
So, I'm Deb clarington,
saying "yes,

1614
01:09:14.317 --> 01:09:16.527
I think these two
are worth saving."

1615
01:09:16.653 --> 01:09:18.953
So if you're watching out there,
please tell the authorities

1616
01:09:19.072 --> 01:09:21.032
to send help to
Portland, Maine-

1617
01:09:23.159 --> 01:09:23.989
<i>" nm!</i>

1618
01:09:24.118 --> 01:09:26.328
- No

1619
01:09:28.790 --> 01:09:30.750
Deb.
Deb, I'm here.

1620
01:09:30.875 --> 01:09:32.165
- Hey,

1621
01:09:32.293 --> 01:09:33.173
- listen to me:

1622
01:09:33.294 --> 01:09:35.714
That's the greatest newscast
anyone's ever seen.

1623
01:09:35.838 --> 01:09:39.168
Seriously, you'll probably
win a peabody or something.

1624
01:09:39.300 --> 01:09:41.590
- Am I...

1625
01:09:41.719 --> 01:09:44.179
Better than Brent masters?

1626
01:09:44.305 --> 01:09:46.595
- Crazy better.

1627
01:09:46.974 --> 01:09:49.234
- Wait. "Crazy," like,
i was like a crazy person?

1628
01:09:49.352 --> 01:09:50.522
- Shh.

1629
01:09:52.647 --> 01:09:55.727
- Can we get, like,
two seconds?!

1630
01:10:01.906 --> 01:10:04.026
I don't know how long
i have left.

1631
01:10:04.158 --> 01:10:06.078
- Yeah, I guess we've never
seen anyone turn before.

1632
01:10:13.793 --> 01:10:15.503
Listen, Deb...
- Yeah?

1633
01:10:15.628 --> 01:10:17.168
- If you want me to...

1634
01:10:17.296 --> 01:10:19.506
I could, um-

1635
01:10:19.757 --> 01:10:21.927
I mean, if you want.

1636
01:10:22.051 --> 01:10:25.011
- You would shoot me
in the head?

1637
01:10:25.138 --> 01:10:26.508
- Well, i-

1638
01:10:26.639 --> 01:10:28.019
what? I thought-

1639
01:10:28.141 --> 01:10:30.391
I guess it'd only be
one tap now.

1640
01:10:30.518 --> 01:10:32.308
It was your idea first!

1641
01:10:32.437 --> 01:10:33.147
<i>- Tonight's top story,</i>

1642
01:10:33.271 --> 01:10:36.021
a bizarre twist regarding
a reported radiation leak

1643
01:10:36.149 --> 01:10:37.279
in Portland, Maine.

1644
01:10:37.400 --> 01:10:39.070
Now a broadcast
apparently originating

1645
01:10:39.193 --> 01:10:41.323
from within the
quarantine zone

1646
01:10:41.446 --> 01:10:43.526
<i>went viral on the Internet
just hours ago</i>

1647
01:10:43.656 --> 01:10:45.406
<i>prompting a lot of
people to wonder,</i>

1648
01:10:45.533 --> 01:10:47.333
<i>what exactly
is going on here?</i>

1649
01:10:47.452 --> 01:10:49.912
- <i>I'm Deb
clarington, saying "yes,</i>

1650
01:10:50.037 --> 01:10:52.207
<i>I think these two
are worth saving."</i>

1651
01:10:52.331 --> 01:10:53.751
<i>So if you're watching
out there,</i>

1652
01:10:53.875 --> 01:10:55.455
<i>please tell the authorities
to send help</i>

1653
01:10:55.585 --> 01:10:56.995
<i>to Portland, Maine-</i>

1654
01:10:57.128 --> 01:10:58.588
<i>ah! Ah!</i>

1655
01:10:58.713 --> 01:11:00.303
No! <i>No!</i>

1656
01:11:00.423 --> 01:11:03.053
<i>- Nine-one-one
emergency centers in several states</i>

1657
01:11:03.176 --> 01:11:04.796
<i>report being flooded with calls</i>

1658
01:11:04.927 --> 01:11:07.047
<i>in response to the
alleged zombie attack.</i>

1659
01:11:07.180 --> 01:11:09.350
<i>Some are calling to ask
if the video is real,</i>

1660
01:11:09.474 --> 01:11:11.934
while many others are
concerned for the safety

1661
01:11:12.059 --> 01:11:12.929
of these two people.

1662
01:11:13.060 --> 01:11:14.770
- <i>A background check
on Deb clarington</i>

1663
01:11:14.896 --> 01:11:17.436
<i>revealed that is in fact
employed at the station</i>

1664
01:11:17.565 --> 01:11:18.975
<i>from which she's broadcasting,</i>

1665
01:11:19.108 --> 01:11:21.738
<i>but as a camera person
not an anchor.</i>

1666
01:11:21.861 --> 01:11:22.861
<i>Prior to that,</i>

1667
01:11:22.987 --> 01:11:24.737
<i>she was employed
at a lady footlocker</i>

1668
01:11:24.864 --> 01:11:26.164
<i>until she was let go</i>

1669
01:11:26.282 --> 01:11:28.952
<i>for staging an unauthorized
sock puppet production</i>

1670
01:11:29.076 --> 01:11:30.616
<i>of "Jesus Christ superstar."</i>

1671
01:11:30.745 --> 01:11:32.995
- <i>A lot has been
said about videos going viral,</i>

1672
01:11:33.122 --> 01:11:35.712
<i>but for Deb clarington
it's more like an outbreak.</i>

1673
01:11:35.833 --> 01:11:38.963
The hits on her zombie attack
clip is impressive enough,

1674
01:11:39.086 --> 01:11:41.546
but it's the number of her
viewers weighing in

1675
01:11:41.672 --> 01:11:43.552
<i>and creating their
own online videos</i>

1676
01:11:43.674 --> 01:11:44.974
<i>that's truly staggering.</i>

1677
01:11:45.092 --> 01:11:46.342
- As the chairman of the
"zombie outbreak

1678
01:11:46.469 --> 01:11:47.719
authentication society"

1679
01:11:47.845 --> 01:11:51.845
I happen to know zombies,
and that is not real.

1680
01:11:51.974 --> 01:11:52.894
It's too tan.

1681
01:11:53.017 --> 01:11:54.937
- I can tell bad effects
work from a mile away

1682
01:11:55.061 --> 01:11:57.101
and this is the real deal, man.
It's not bogus.

1683
01:11:57.230 --> 01:11:59.650
- Okay,
that girl is my new hero.

1684
01:11:59.774 --> 01:12:01.444
What is going on right now?

1685
01:12:01.567 --> 01:12:03.107
- Deb, if you're still
alive out there.

1686
01:12:03.236 --> 01:12:05.486
I want you to know...
You are so hot!

1687
01:12:05.613 --> 01:12:07.453
- They say they're in Maine?

1688
01:12:07.573 --> 01:12:09.073
That's not even a real state.

1689
01:12:09.200 --> 01:12:11.580
- Deb honey,
encouraged by your example,

1690
01:12:11.702 --> 01:12:14.502
I told a co-worker that
he is the love of my life.

1691
01:12:14.622 --> 01:12:17.082
He's my boss,
and happily married...

1692
01:12:17.208 --> 01:12:19.748
So we both agreed it best
that I look for anothe rjob.

1693
01:12:19.877 --> 01:12:21.797
- Originally, I planned
to debunk this vid

1694
01:12:21.921 --> 01:12:23.091
using basic physics.

1695
01:12:23.214 --> 01:12:25.804
Then, I thought about recreating
part of it with some friends,

1696
01:12:25.925 --> 01:12:28.755
but those idiots actually
think this thing is real.

1697
01:12:28.886 --> 01:12:31.596
- <i>Is the video real, professor,
in your own opinion?</i>

1698
01:12:31.722 --> 01:12:34.602
- <i>I believe that the woman
in the video believes it's real.</i>

1699
01:12:34.725 --> 01:12:35.925
Now, how sure are you?

1700
01:12:36.060 --> 01:12:37.690
- <i>Well, she exhibits
all five signs</i>

1701
01:12:37.812 --> 01:12:39.152
of a person who is
speaking the truth.

1702
01:12:39.272 --> 01:12:41.732
I expound more on this,
of course, in my book,

1703
01:12:41.858 --> 01:12:43.068
"the five signs of truth."

1704
01:12:43.192 --> 01:12:44.032
Which is available
today on my-

1705
01:12:44.151 --> 01:12:46.281
- what the fudge?

1706
01:12:46.404 --> 01:12:47.994
- As night falls
on Portland, Maine,

1707
01:12:48.114 --> 01:12:49.954
more questions than answers.

1708
01:12:50.074 --> 01:12:53.244
<i>Repeated calls to the governor's
office from this station</i>

1709
01:12:53.369 --> 01:12:54.949
and many others
around the country

1710
01:12:55.079 --> 01:12:56.619
have gone unanswered,

1711
01:12:56.747 --> 01:12:59.287
<i>but we will not rest
until we get to the bottom</i>

1712
01:12:59.417 --> 01:13:01.127
<i>of this situation.</i>

1713
01:13:01.252 --> 01:13:03.592
<i>And now how about this
hilarious cat video?</i>

1714
01:13:03.713 --> 01:13:05.423
♪ Na-na, na-na,
na, na ♪

1715
01:13:05.548 --> 01:13:07.128
- Yes! Deb!

1716
01:13:07.258 --> 01:13:08.258
You did it!

1717
01:13:08.384 --> 01:13:10.724
They'll have to investigate now.
They'll just have to!

1718
01:13:10.845 --> 01:13:13.595
- Well, I'm really
happy for you, Ryan.

1719
01:13:13.723 --> 01:13:14.723
But let's get real here.

1720
01:13:14.849 --> 01:13:16.429
We both know,
in a few minutes,

1721
01:13:16.559 --> 01:13:18.519
I'm gonna be trying
to eat your brains.

1722
01:13:18.644 --> 01:13:20.104
- Well, the joke's
on you, then,

1723
01:13:20.229 --> 01:13:21.439
because it'll be a small meal.

1724
01:13:21.564 --> 01:13:22.654
- Really.

1725
01:13:22.773 --> 01:13:25.783
You're starting to look
so delicious right now.

1726
01:13:25.902 --> 01:13:26.992
- And you're starting
to look like you've

1727
01:13:27.111 --> 01:13:28.781
lost a lot of blood.

1728
01:13:28.905 --> 01:13:30.615
- Does it matter at this point?

1729
01:13:30.740 --> 01:13:34.290
- It matters to me.
Where's the first aid kit?

1730
01:13:34.410 --> 01:13:36.290
- I think it's in
the break room,

1731
01:13:36.412 --> 01:13:38.662
but it's too far unless
we go through the studio.

1732
01:13:38.789 --> 01:13:40.079
- Then let's go.

1733
01:13:40.207 --> 01:13:41.287
- Okay-

1734
01:13:46.964 --> 01:13:48.384
- no.
No, no, no.

1735
01:13:48.507 --> 01:13:51.297
- Whoa, whoa.
I have an idea.

1736
01:13:53.596 --> 01:13:56.426
Hear me, undead!

1737
01:13:56.557 --> 01:13:59.887
This man is a friend to us,
he means us no-

1738
01:14:00.019 --> 01:14:01.979
oh, god.
I regret that!

1739
01:14:06.108 --> 01:14:07.608
Ah!

1740
01:14:12.615 --> 01:14:14.325
- Oh, that was awesome!

1741
01:14:18.496 --> 01:14:19.616
- Ladies first!

1742
01:14:23.334 --> 01:14:25.174
- Oh, wrong way.

1743
01:14:25.586 --> 01:14:26.036
Come on!

1744
01:14:26.170 --> 01:14:29.210
<i>Ii</i>

1745
01:14:31.258 --> 01:14:33.008
- stairs!

1746
01:14:41.769 --> 01:14:44.519
<i>N'</i>

1747
01:14:47.942 --> 01:14:48.982
- go.

1748
01:14:59.412 --> 01:15:01.832
Deb! Deb, come on.
We gotta get going.

1749
01:15:01.956 --> 01:15:02.916
- No.
- Get up.

1750
01:15:03.040 --> 01:15:06.420
- Ryan, it's the end
of the line for me.

1751
01:15:06.544 --> 01:15:08.344
- Okay, <i>l'll-</i> I'll carry you.
Come on.

1752
01:15:08.462 --> 01:15:09.842
- Where?

1753
01:15:11.257 --> 01:15:14.387
Listen,
we've had a good run

1754
01:15:14.510 --> 01:15:17.470
but I'm starting
to get hungry.

1755
01:15:17.596 --> 01:15:20.676
I can really see myself
going to town on your liver...

1756
01:15:20.808 --> 01:15:22.388
Your spleen...

1757
01:15:22.518 --> 01:15:24.808
Maybe a couple pancreas'.

1758
01:15:24.937 --> 01:15:26.647
- Your pancreas
is actually singular.

1759
01:15:26.772 --> 01:15:28.322
- Oh, well, thank you,
bill nye.

1760
01:15:28.441 --> 01:15:29.481
Whoa.

1761
01:15:29.608 --> 01:15:32.358
Hey, hey.
Stay with me, stay with me.

1762
01:15:32.737 --> 01:15:35.277
- Ryan, what are you
still doing here?

1763
01:15:35.406 --> 01:15:37.826
You could outrun
misti Raines easily,

1764
01:15:37.950 --> 01:15:40.040
and now you're bound
to end up like one of us

1765
01:15:40.161 --> 01:15:42.331
or die a horrible death.

1766
01:15:42.455 --> 01:15:43.575
- I'd rather take that risk

1767
01:15:43.706 --> 01:15:45.956
than be without the
people I care about.

1768
01:15:46.083 --> 01:15:48.463
- The people you...?

1769
01:15:49.128 --> 01:15:50.588
Oh.
You mean me.

1770
01:15:50.713 --> 01:15:51.633
Duh.

1771
01:15:51.756 --> 01:15:54.716
I'm the people you care about.

1772
01:15:55.384 --> 01:15:57.054
- I really wish we'd gotten
to watch the fireworks

1773
01:15:57.178 --> 01:15:58.508
together on your roof.

1774
01:16:00.139 --> 01:16:02.679
That would've been awesome.

1775
01:16:03.309 --> 01:16:05.599
But now I'm starving.

1776
01:16:05.728 --> 01:16:06.808
- Okay. Hey-

1777
01:16:06.937 --> 01:16:08.857
here.

1778
01:16:08.981 --> 01:16:11.401
Do what you gotta do.

1779
01:16:12.109 --> 01:16:14.399
- Thank you.

1780
01:16:21.327 --> 01:16:22.827
- Got 'em!

1781
01:16:24.455 --> 01:16:26.785
Hey. What's up?
How ya doin'?

1782
01:16:28.375 --> 01:16:29.325
Deb, right?

1783
01:16:29.460 --> 01:16:31.750
We are huge fans.

1784
01:16:32.922 --> 01:16:33.802
You're good to go!

1785
01:16:33.923 --> 01:16:35.593
- Oh.
Wait, what?

1786
01:16:35.716 --> 01:16:36.926
- You have a bite wound there.

1787
01:16:37.051 --> 01:16:39.261
Just keep it clean and
change that bandage daily.

1788
01:16:39.386 --> 01:16:43.676
- No, she was bitten
by a zombie.

1789
01:16:44.850 --> 01:16:46.690
- You're talking about what
those people back there have?

1790
01:16:46.811 --> 01:16:47.561
- Yeah.

1791
01:16:47.686 --> 01:16:48.976
- You can't get that
from biting.

1792
01:16:49.105 --> 01:16:52.725
- Yeah, that is really an
archaic way of thinking.

1793
01:16:52.858 --> 01:16:55.238
I mean, a biter would have
to have an open wound

1794
01:16:55.361 --> 01:16:57.401
in his mouth,
literally gushing blood.

1795
01:16:57.530 --> 01:16:59.740
- Even then it's, like,
a thousand to one.

1796
01:16:59.865 --> 01:17:01.575
What are you,
some kind of zombi-phobe?

1797
01:17:01.700 --> 01:17:02.660
- No, no.

1798
01:17:02.785 --> 01:17:05.905
A lot of my best
friends are zombies.

1799
01:17:06.038 --> 01:17:07.908
Probably.

1800
01:17:08.040 --> 01:17:09.370
We're just messing with you.

1801
01:17:09.500 --> 01:17:10.420
- These things are hideous.

1802
01:17:10.543 --> 01:17:11.673
- They're filthy.

1803
01:17:11.794 --> 01:17:13.594
But you can't get it
from a bite so...

1804
01:17:13.712 --> 01:17:16.012
- Turns out it was in
the water or something!

1805
01:17:16.132 --> 01:17:17.972
- Who knew?

1806
01:17:23.389 --> 01:17:26.019
- You said you wanted
to eat me.

1807
01:17:26.142 --> 01:17:27.312
- Yeah, that's embarrassing.

1808
01:17:27.434 --> 01:17:28.734
- You talked about
internal organs,

1809
01:17:28.853 --> 01:17:29.983
I mean,
it got really specific.

1810
01:17:30.104 --> 01:17:31.944
- Well, I was delirious, okay?

1811
01:17:32.064 --> 01:17:34.694
- You sure you
don't want to now?

1812
01:17:34.817 --> 01:17:36.897
- You said some things, too.

1813
01:17:37.027 --> 01:17:38.897
- I know I did.

1814
01:17:39.029 --> 01:17:43.529
- So, it's safe to assume
that you like me.

1815
01:17:47.204 --> 01:17:50.714
- Hey, how did you guys
figure out this virus so fast?

1816
01:17:50.833 --> 01:17:53.173
- Oh, we had a little help.

1817
01:17:53.294 --> 01:17:54.344
- Dad?!

1818
01:17:54.461 --> 01:17:55.751
- Ha-ha, Ryan!

1819
01:17:55.880 --> 01:17:58.880
Hey, Deb!
What a night, huh?

1820
01:17:59.216 --> 01:18:01.926
Turns out,
biting doesn't turn you.

1821
01:18:02.052 --> 01:18:03.432
- Yeah, we heard.

1822
01:18:03.554 --> 01:18:04.934
But how did you
escape those troops?

1823
01:18:05.055 --> 01:18:07.965
- Well, like I said.
Biting doesn't turn you.

1824
01:18:08.100 --> 01:18:10.730
Come on!
What're you waiting for?

1825
01:18:10.853 --> 01:18:13.523
<i>I'm already bit,
you dumb pansies.</i>

1826
01:18:13.647 --> 01:18:15.897
<i>- Drop the weapon!
- Come on, finish me!</i>

1827
01:18:16.025 --> 01:18:17.355
- Ow.
My head is killing me!

1828
01:18:17.484 --> 01:18:19.614
- <i>We are approaching.
Put it down!</i>

1829
01:18:19.737 --> 01:18:21.607
<i>- Make me, you dumbass!</i>

1830
01:18:24.241 --> 01:18:26.621
- Dale! Chowder!
Mad dog!

1831
01:18:26.744 --> 01:18:28.004
Chaz.

1832
01:18:28.120 --> 01:18:29.080
Jazzy chazzy.

1833
01:18:29.205 --> 01:18:31.825
That's my pop.
Be careful with him, okay?

1834
01:18:31.957 --> 01:18:33.747
- Son!
- Pops, we play billiards.

1835
01:18:33.876 --> 01:18:35.416
Be cool, that's my pops!

1836
01:18:35.544 --> 01:18:36.504
- That's my boy!

1837
01:18:36.629 --> 01:18:38.549
- Yep.
Came to save you.

1838
01:18:38.672 --> 01:18:40.592
I wonder where Ryan is?

1839
01:18:40.716 --> 01:18:42.426
Off with his new
girlfriend probably.

1840
01:18:42.551 --> 01:18:43.301
I don't see him.

1841
01:18:46.555 --> 01:18:48.845
What's up, douche?

1842
01:18:48.974 --> 01:18:51.394
- We're alive
and we're under arrest!

1843
01:18:51.518 --> 01:18:54.228
- That's my boy.
- Yeah!

1844
01:18:54.730 --> 01:18:56.270
- Now come on...

1845
01:18:56.398 --> 01:18:58.318
Hurry up and kiss the girl.

1846
01:18:58.442 --> 01:19:00.692
- Oh.
- I got a date with the feds.

1847
01:19:00.819 --> 01:19:02.069
The town's overrun
with zombies so,

1848
01:19:02.196 --> 01:19:04.236
they're gonna be bombing
the hell out of Portland soon.

1849
01:19:04.365 --> 01:19:05.365
- Whoo!

1850
01:19:07.451 --> 01:19:09.451
Come on.

1851
01:19:11.080 --> 01:19:13.580
- I'm sorry
i tried to eat you.

1852
01:19:13.707 --> 01:19:15.457
You don't have to kiss me.

1853
01:19:15.584 --> 01:19:18.214
- No, I was going to anyway.

1854
01:19:23.467 --> 01:19:24.087
- Whoa!

1855
01:19:24.218 --> 01:19:26.388
Whoa!

1856
01:19:26.512 --> 01:19:29.222
- Whoa!
- Whoa!

1857
01:19:41.485 --> 01:19:45.155
<i>♪ No matter what you do</i>

1858
01:19:45.281 --> 01:19:48.451
<i>♪ I'll keep my heart with you</i>

1859
01:19:48.575 --> 01:19:53.075
<i>♪ I'll wait through the war</i>

1860
01:19:57.376 --> 01:20:01.416
<i>♪ I try to push away</i>

1861
01:20:01.547 --> 01:20:04.467
<i>♪ though you know I'll stay</i>

1862
01:20:04.591 --> 01:20:09.091
<i>♪ and wait through the war</i>

1863
01:20:12.599 --> 01:20:17.099
<i>♪ with the days marching on</i>

1864
01:20:18.564 --> 01:20:23.064
<i>♪ I stumble,
going through the paces</i>

1865
01:20:28.574 --> 01:20:33.074
<i>♪ like a bark to a bone</i>

1866
01:20:34.663 --> 01:20:39.163
<i>♪ I cried out,
seeing all the faces</i>

1867
01:20:45.341 --> 01:20:49.261
<i>♪ no matter what you do</i>

1868
01:20:49.386 --> 01:20:52.426
<i>♪ I'll keep my heart with you</i>

1869
01:20:52.556 --> 01:20:57.056
<i>♪ I'll wait through the war</i>

1870
01:21:01.482 --> 01:21:05.442
<i>♪ I try to push away</i>

1871
01:21:05.569 --> 01:21:08.489
<i>♪ though you know I'll stay</i>

1872
01:21:08.614 --> 01:21:13.114
<i>♪ and wait through the war</i>

1873
01:21:17.206 --> 01:21:21.036
<i>♪ the night turns into day</i>

1874
01:21:22.544 --> 01:21:27.044
<i>♪ I'm hiding,
shadows on the riverside</i>

1875
01:21:32.679 --> 01:21:37.179
<i>♪ with the years wiped away</i>

1876
01:21:38.560 --> 01:21:43.060
<i>♪ I stayed with
you would call a suicide</i>

1877
01:21:49.279 --> 01:21:53.199
<i>♪ no matter what you do</i>

1878
01:21:53.325 --> 01:21:56.365
<i>♪ I'll keep my heart with you</i>

1879
01:21:56.495 --> 01:22:00.995
<i>♪ I'll wait through the war</i>

1880
01:22:05.462 --> 01:22:09.382
<i>♪ I try to push away</i>

1881
01:22:09.508 --> 01:22:12.388
<i>♪ though you know I'll stay</i>

1882
01:22:12.511 --> 01:22:17.011
<i>♪ and wait through the war</i>

1883
01:22:21.728 --> 01:22:25.228
<i>♪ no matter what you do</i>

1884
01:22:25.357 --> 01:22:28.397
<i>♪ I'll keep my heart with you</i>

1885
01:22:28.527 --> 01:22:33.027
<i>♪ I'll wait through the war</i>

1886
01:22:37.494 --> 01:22:41.414
<i>♪ I try to push away</i>

1887
01:22:41.540 --> 01:22:44.460
<i>♪ though you know I'll stay</i>

1888
01:22:44.585 --> 01:22:49.085
<i>♪ and wait through the war e</i>

1889
01:23:01.018 --> 01:23:05.228
<i>n'</i>

1890
01:23:05.355 --> 01:23:08.935
<i>♪ one night stand with no intentions</i>

1891
01:23:12.237 --> 01:23:13.397
<i>♪ wake up in the mornin'</i>

1892
01:23:13.530 --> 01:23:15.950
<i>♪ oh man,
we're gonna lose our heads</i>

1893
01:23:19.495 --> 01:23:22.825
<i>♪ don't drink the water, son</i>

1894
01:23:22.956 --> 01:23:26.206
<i>♪ it's infecting everyone</i>

1895
01:23:26.335 --> 01:23:29.585
<i>♪ it's the night,
it's the night of the living Deb</i>

1896
01:23:33.425 --> 01:23:37.255
<i>♪ let me hitch a ride
in your big brown car</i>

1897
01:23:40.641 --> 01:23:44.141
<i>♪ runnin' 'em down
like we're playing pinball</i>

1898
01:23:47.105 --> 01:23:50.435
<i>♪ don't drink the water, son</i>

1899
01:23:50.567 --> 01:23:53.857
<i>♪ it's infecting everyone</i>

1900
01:23:53.987 --> 01:23:57.367
<i>♪ it's the night,
it's the night of the living Deb</i>

1901
01:23:59.034 --> 01:24:00.794
<i>♪ hear what I said?</i>

1902
01:24:00.911 --> 01:24:04.211
<i>♪ Now, your daddy
he may be rich</i>

1903
01:24:04.331 --> 01:24:07.671
<i>♪ he's a mean ol'
son of a bitch</i>

1904
01:24:07.793 --> 01:24:11.093
<i>♪ it's the night,
it's the night of the living Deb</i>

1905
01:24:12.965 --> 01:24:15.005
<i>♪ night of the livin' Deb</i>

1906
01:24:16.260 --> 01:24:18.100
<i>♪ night of the livin' Deb</i>

1907
01:24:19.596 --> 01:24:21.846
<i>♪ night of the livin' Deb</i>

1908
01:24:23.100 --> 01:24:24.890
<i>♪ night of the livin'</i>

