1
00:00:45,320 --> 00:00:47,800
<i>Welcome to Camp Blue Finch,</i>

2
00:00:48,480 --> 00:00:52,007
<i>where romance in the sun
can turn deadly!</i>

3
00:00:53,560 --> 00:00:56,040
Best summer ever!

4
00:00:57,800 --> 00:01:00,280
This is the summer
that's going to change your life.

5
00:01:00,360 --> 00:01:01,521
<i>Where the days are warm...</i>

6
00:01:01,600 --> 00:01:03,728
Hey, Nance,
that guitar is choice.

7
00:01:03,800 --> 00:01:06,121
Thanks, Blake.
Bitching hair.

8
00:01:06,280 --> 00:01:08,362
<i>...the girls are cool...</i>

9
00:01:08,440 --> 00:01:10,090
Did I miss the <i>Kumbaya</i> circle?

10
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<i>...the nights are always hot.</i>

11
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<i>And evil lurks
around every corner.</i>

12
00:01:15,240 --> 00:01:17,686
Gosh, you startled me.

13
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So, I just go down
that path all the way?

14
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A guy like you can go
anywhere he wants.

15
00:01:23,520 --> 00:01:27,161
<i>And any moment, Billy can strike.</i>

16
00:01:36,080 --> 00:01:37,844
<i>They won't be singing</i> Kumbaya.

17
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<i>They'll be screaming Kum Ba No!</i>

18
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<i>Pack your bags
for Camp Bloodbath...</i>

19
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You just messed
with the wrong virgin.

20
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<i>...where the only marshmallow</i>

21
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<i>that will roast is your sanity.</i>

22
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Well, they'll let me know.

23
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You know you're too good
for this crap, right?

24
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The casting director was all like,
"I know you from somewhere."

25
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And I went, "Really?
Oh, it's probably

26
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"my arc on <i>CSI</i> as
a bipolar mistress."

27
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And he's like,
"No, I got it. <i>Camp Bloodbath. "</i>

28
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Am I ever going to
live that movie down?

29
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I mean, it was 20 years ago.

30
00:03:01,920 --> 00:03:03,046
Honestly, if you
ever become an actor,

31
00:03:03,160 --> 00:03:04,685
don't ever do a slasher flick.

32
00:03:04,920 --> 00:03:07,764
You wouldn't catch me dead in a movie.
You're the actress here.

33
00:03:07,840 --> 00:03:09,080
Damn straight.

34
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And I'm no actress.
I'm a movie star.

35
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Mel's?

36
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Mel's.

37
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Let's rock and roll.

38
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So, we owe the electric company

39
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$174.88 by next Monday...

40
00:03:32,960 --> 00:03:35,804
You remember Frank?

41
00:03:35,880 --> 00:03:36,881
He told me he was
going to take me

42
00:03:36,960 --> 00:03:38,610
to Palm Springs this weekend.

43
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No message.
No text.

44
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No surprise.

45
00:03:41,160 --> 00:03:43,640
You know, it's just
he said we were exclusive.

46
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Well, he said it,
he doesn't act like it.

47
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Whatever.
What do I know?

48
00:03:51,280 --> 00:03:53,089
You must think I'm a total zero.

49
00:03:53,160 --> 00:03:54,286
Screw him, Mom.

50
00:03:54,360 --> 00:03:56,283
And screw his shady
hotel in Palm Springs.

51
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Oh, my God.

52
00:03:59,320 --> 00:04:01,004
Look at you taking care of me.

53
00:04:02,280 --> 00:04:03,560
What happened to
that little girl

54
00:04:03,600 --> 00:04:04,840
I used to dance with
in the backyard?

55
00:04:04,920 --> 00:04:06,729
She grew up and is
trying to figure out

56
00:04:06,800 --> 00:04:09,167
where this $174
is gonna come from.

57
00:04:13,600 --> 00:04:15,682
What are you doing?
Are you crazy?

58
00:04:15,880 --> 00:04:16,927
Our song!

59
00:04:18,920 --> 00:04:20,604
Mom. We need to
figure this out.

60
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<i>♪ Her hair is Harlowe gold</i>

61
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<i>♪ Her lips sweet surprise</i>

62
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<i>♪ Her hands are never cold</i>

63
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You're such a dork.

64
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<i>♪ She's got
Bette Davis eyes ♪</i>

65
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Everything in my life, I got wrong.

66
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But you,
I got you right.

67
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I love you.
You know that, right?

68
00:04:44,360 --> 00:04:47,045
<i>♪ She's pure as
New York snow</i>

69
00:04:48,360 --> 00:04:49,441
<i>♪ She's got
Bette Davis eyes ♪</i>

70
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What?

71
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Nothing.

72
00:04:54,080 --> 00:04:55,081
Nothing.

73
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<i>♪ She'll unease you</i>

74
00:04:58,000 --> 00:05:01,447
<i>♪ All the better just to please you</i>

75
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<i>♪ She's precocious
and she knows just</i>

76
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<i>♪ What it takes to make a pro blush</i>

77
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<i>♪ She got Greta Garbo
stand off sighs</i>

78
00:05:14,480 --> 00:05:18,405
<i>♪ She's got
Bette Davis eyes ♪</i>

79
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Max, those are really expensive...

80
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Gertie's here.

81
00:06:38,000 --> 00:06:39,809
Coming, Aunt Pearl.

82
00:06:45,680 --> 00:06:49,446
So, when Chris asked you to study,
was he like,

83
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"I want you to come study"?

84
00:06:51,120 --> 00:06:54,806
Or was he like,
"I want you to come.

85
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"Study."

86
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Please. I'm only going,
so I don't flunk Classics.

87
00:07:00,120 --> 00:07:02,122
Come on, you know that he
broke up with Vicki last week, right?

88
00:07:02,200 --> 00:07:04,009
And she is a mess.

89
00:07:04,080 --> 00:07:06,242
Have you seen the veiled
suicide note/poem

90
00:07:06,360 --> 00:07:08,442
she posted on her Facebook page?

91
00:07:08,520 --> 00:07:10,921
It's so hilarious.

92
00:07:11,000 --> 00:07:12,843
I read it out loud to myself.

93
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A lot.

94
00:07:16,440 --> 00:07:17,441
Hmm.

95
00:07:19,400 --> 00:07:22,324
Hey, just keep on keeping on.

96
00:07:22,400 --> 00:07:23,731
What does that even mean?

97
00:07:23,800 --> 00:07:25,768
Something my therapist
tells me all the time.

98
00:07:26,160 --> 00:07:28,083
You have a therapist?
Mmm-hmm.

99
00:07:28,360 --> 00:07:30,124
Does that help you deal?

100
00:07:30,200 --> 00:07:32,168
Mmm. No, not really.

101
00:07:32,240 --> 00:07:34,891
She's a physical
therapist, so...

102
00:07:36,480 --> 00:07:37,811
Okay. So, the
myth of Persephone.

103
00:07:37,880 --> 00:07:38,927
Max, you want to take this one?

104
00:07:39,000 --> 00:07:40,764
Sure.

105
00:07:40,840 --> 00:07:41,966
She's the daughter of Zeus

106
00:07:42,040 --> 00:07:44,691
and she eats pomegranate seeds,

107
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and then Hades kidnaps her
to the underworld.

108
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Yeah. Okay, good.

109
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So, they go back
to the underworld

110
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and Persephone is freaking out,

111
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and Hermes is like,
"It's okay, it's okay.

112
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"Just keep looking forward,

113
00:07:54,240 --> 00:07:55,890
"or we'll be
stuck here forever."

114
00:07:55,960 --> 00:07:58,884
Max, do you want to jot
any of this down or...

115
00:07:58,960 --> 00:08:00,644
Oh, no, it's okay, Max.
I've already got a copy.

116
00:08:00,720 --> 00:08:01,760
You can copy from me later

117
00:08:01,800 --> 00:08:04,963
or I can give it to you
if you... If you want.

118
00:08:06,160 --> 00:08:07,685
I'm gonna stop talking.

119
00:08:10,440 --> 00:08:12,727
Oh, shit.
Max, hey, wait.

120
00:08:12,840 --> 00:08:14,888
Did you not get my messages?
Duncan. No.

121
00:08:14,960 --> 00:08:17,725
Please, come on. Please.

122
00:08:17,800 --> 00:08:19,370
Seriously, no.

123
00:08:19,560 --> 00:08:21,688
The Bath-maticians
were so excited when I told them

124
00:08:21,760 --> 00:08:24,200
that Amanda Cartwright's
daughter was my sister's best friend.

125
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Step-sister.

126
00:08:25,600 --> 00:08:27,648
Why would you say that?
That's so hurtful.

127
00:08:27,760 --> 00:08:30,411
Please, Max,
I promised that you'd be there.

128
00:08:30,480 --> 00:08:32,164
I am the assistant
general manager

129
00:08:32,280 --> 00:08:34,123
of the varsity.
Think of my reputation.

130
00:08:34,240 --> 00:08:35,765
Wait. What are
"Bath-maticians"?

131
00:08:35,880 --> 00:08:37,530
Uh, <i>Camp Bloodbath</i> fans.

132
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It's kind of our
awesome nickname.

133
00:08:39,240 --> 00:08:41,641
Did you know that a nickname
immediately becomes uncool

134
00:08:41,720 --> 00:08:42,687
when you give it to yourself?

135
00:08:42,760 --> 00:08:44,125
You know what, Gertie?

136
00:08:44,200 --> 00:08:47,568
When my dad told me that I was
going to get a sister, I cried

137
00:08:47,680 --> 00:08:49,250
because that's all
I'd ever wanted.

138
00:08:50,120 --> 00:08:53,806
But not like this.
Not like this.

139
00:08:54,960 --> 00:08:55,961
Don't.

140
00:08:58,120 --> 00:09:00,441
Look, <i>Camp Bloodbath</i>
is like the granddaddy

141
00:09:00,560 --> 00:09:02,289
of all campsite
slasher films, okay.

142
00:09:02,360 --> 00:09:03,725
Amazing production design,

143
00:09:03,800 --> 00:09:06,041
insane music,
over-the-top acting.

144
00:09:06,120 --> 00:09:07,531
It's a cult classic.

145
00:09:07,600 --> 00:09:09,011
Max's mom plays Nancy,

146
00:09:09,080 --> 00:09:11,003
this sort of
shy girl-next-door

147
00:09:11,080 --> 00:09:12,969
who gives up her butterfly
to some dumb jock,

148
00:09:13,040 --> 00:09:14,610
and Billy Murphy comes along

149
00:09:14,680 --> 00:09:16,967
and chops her ass up on a waterbed.

150
00:09:17,080 --> 00:09:18,923
Sorry, Duncan.

151
00:09:19,000 --> 00:09:20,800
Tell your cult, maybe
I'll see them next year.

152
00:09:22,480 --> 00:09:23,720
I'll do all your
Classics assignments

153
00:09:23,800 --> 00:09:25,006
for the rest of the year.

154
00:09:25,080 --> 00:09:27,287
Papers, your homework,
all of it.

155
00:09:27,360 --> 00:09:30,011
Gertie told me that
you were failing.

156
00:09:30,160 --> 00:09:33,084
Please, Max, what do you say?
You wanna graduate, or not?

157
00:09:44,200 --> 00:09:45,281
Max!

158
00:09:46,920 --> 00:09:49,526
Gertie!
Oh, you scared me.

159
00:09:51,400 --> 00:09:53,164
Well, this will be fun, huh?

160
00:09:53,280 --> 00:09:56,250
Being trapped in a movie theater
with a bunch of nerds.

161
00:09:56,320 --> 00:09:57,560
Yeah, sure.

162
00:09:58,480 --> 00:10:00,209
You know what was fun, though?

163
00:10:00,280 --> 00:10:03,443
Watching Chris today,
ogle over you.

164
00:10:03,520 --> 00:10:04,601
Shut up.

165
00:10:04,680 --> 00:10:06,000
What? That's a word, right? Ogle?

166
00:10:06,040 --> 00:10:08,281
He likes you so much,
it's so cute.

167
00:10:08,360 --> 00:10:09,361
Gertie. Get real.

168
00:10:09,480 --> 00:10:11,403
He's like a giant, okay?
So, imagine us together.

169
00:10:11,520 --> 00:10:13,170
Hey!
I'd need stilts to kiss him.

170
00:10:15,360 --> 00:10:16,361
Hey!
Hi.

171
00:10:17,120 --> 00:10:19,168
What are you doing here?

172
00:10:19,240 --> 00:10:21,000
I figured you needed
some, uh, moral support.

173
00:10:22,080 --> 00:10:24,367
Why, should I go?
Because I can if this is weird...

174
00:10:24,440 --> 00:10:26,602
No, don't be crazy, Christopher.

175
00:10:26,680 --> 00:10:28,250
We're so happy you're here.

176
00:10:28,320 --> 00:10:30,561
I'm going to go popcorn up,
see you inside.

177
00:10:39,640 --> 00:10:42,484
Wow. Your mom
was gorgeous.

178
00:10:44,320 --> 00:10:47,085
I'm sorry. That's a weird
thing to say, isn't it?

179
00:10:47,920 --> 00:10:49,046
Kind of.

180
00:10:49,440 --> 00:10:51,840
It's kind of cool we get to honor her
memory this way, right?

181
00:10:52,120 --> 00:10:53,121
Um...

182
00:10:54,360 --> 00:10:56,567
Today's the anniversary
of her death.

183
00:10:57,280 --> 00:10:58,884
I, uh...

184
00:11:00,520 --> 00:11:01,726
I don't know what to say.

185
00:11:02,720 --> 00:11:03,960
Me neither.

186
00:11:05,960 --> 00:11:07,291
At least,
I get to see her,

187
00:11:08,120 --> 00:11:10,441
even if she is being chased
by a psycho with a machete.

188
00:11:13,000 --> 00:11:14,809
Stop, stop, stop.

189
00:11:14,880 --> 00:11:16,166
Oh, great.

190
00:11:17,080 --> 00:11:19,606
Hey! What a coincidence!

191
00:11:19,680 --> 00:11:21,569
This is Tyson.
We've been hanging out

192
00:11:21,640 --> 00:11:23,290
and he's so funny.

193
00:11:23,360 --> 00:11:27,081
My abs are like shredded
from laughing so hard.

194
00:11:27,160 --> 00:11:28,491
Anyway, Tyson wanted
to come here tonight

195
00:11:28,560 --> 00:11:32,042
and I was like, "Oh, my God, no."
But here we are.

196
00:11:32,120 --> 00:11:34,202
So, you win, Tyson.

197
00:11:34,280 --> 00:11:36,726
So, you didn't see my post about it,
or anything?

198
00:11:36,840 --> 00:11:38,569
No, I don't go on
your stupid Twitter,

199
00:11:38,640 --> 00:11:40,802
which, by the way, has lost
three more followers today.

200
00:11:41,200 --> 00:11:43,043
Anyway, see you
guys inside, okay?

201
00:11:43,120 --> 00:11:44,281
Go.

202
00:11:46,800 --> 00:11:49,326
I'm so wiped from
all these applications.

203
00:11:49,400 --> 00:11:51,402
Even my safety schools,
Stanford and Cornell,

204
00:11:51,520 --> 00:11:53,204
I'm not gonna just
half-ass them, you know.

205
00:11:53,280 --> 00:11:54,406
It's just not my style.

206
00:11:54,480 --> 00:11:57,211
I am lucky that
I even made it out tonight at all.

207
00:11:57,320 --> 00:11:58,845
Thank you, Adderall.

208
00:12:00,640 --> 00:12:02,005
Where'd Terry go?

209
00:12:02,080 --> 00:12:03,923
Terry? Tyson?
Tyson.

210
00:12:04,000 --> 00:12:07,402
Oh, yeah, he just
got like super-sick super-fast.

211
00:12:07,480 --> 00:12:08,481
Mmm.

212
00:12:08,560 --> 00:12:10,881
Oh, no, not the
super-sick super-fast.

213
00:12:11,000 --> 00:12:16,882
Max, are they doing this
because it's, you know, the anniversary?

214
00:12:17,720 --> 00:12:19,848
Yeah, I'm here
for an appearance.

215
00:12:19,920 --> 00:12:21,081
I didn't think you'd...

216
00:12:21,160 --> 00:12:23,322
Come on, Max.
Of course, I would remember.

217
00:12:23,400 --> 00:12:26,483
I have really good memory.
It's not just the Adderall.

218
00:12:27,000 --> 00:12:28,286
Hey, do you want anything?

219
00:12:28,360 --> 00:12:29,805
I'm gonna go get a popcorn

220
00:12:29,880 --> 00:12:32,008
and then we can
dump M&M'S into it.

221
00:12:32,080 --> 00:12:34,924
That way, every handful is,
like, kind of suspenseful?

222
00:12:35,840 --> 00:12:36,841
Sure.

223
00:12:36,920 --> 00:12:38,251
Hey, Chris, I'm just
gonna have a Diet Coke

224
00:12:38,360 --> 00:12:39,771
and a child-size popcorn,

225
00:12:39,840 --> 00:12:41,080
but make sure to dump
half of it into the garbage.

226
00:12:41,160 --> 00:12:42,286
You remember, right?

227
00:12:42,360 --> 00:12:44,601
You know what,
I'm just going to come with you.

228
00:12:44,680 --> 00:12:47,160
She is the worst.

229
00:12:47,280 --> 00:12:48,800
She's like a living nightmare.

230
00:12:49,360 --> 00:12:51,124
I can't believe
you used to be friends with her.

231
00:12:51,200 --> 00:12:52,440
Look, she's probably
gonna pee on him

232
00:12:52,520 --> 00:12:53,726
just to mark her territory.
Gertie!

233
00:12:53,800 --> 00:12:54,847
Max!

234
00:12:54,960 --> 00:12:57,122
Hey, hey, you came.
Oh, God.

235
00:12:57,440 --> 00:12:58,965
All hail, Max!

236
00:13:00,080 --> 00:13:01,969
Sorry, I don't know why
I worshipped you then,

237
00:13:02,040 --> 00:13:03,166
I'm just excited to see you.

238
00:13:03,240 --> 00:13:06,847
You're also really weird.
You're very strange and weird.

239
00:13:06,920 --> 00:13:09,321
I can put you down
for the Q&A, right?

240
00:13:09,400 --> 00:13:11,129
After the show, do a little Q.

241
00:13:11,200 --> 00:13:12,361
No.

242
00:13:12,440 --> 00:13:14,090
And a little A

243
00:13:14,160 --> 00:13:16,367
I'll put you down as a maybe.
Okay, glad you're here.

244
00:13:16,840 --> 00:13:17,887
Oh!

245
00:13:21,040 --> 00:13:22,929
All right.

246
00:13:45,440 --> 00:13:46,885
<i>♪ Oh, Mickey,
you're so fine</i>

247
00:13:46,960 --> 00:13:48,086
<i>♪ You're so fine
you blow my mind ♪</i>

248
00:13:48,160 --> 00:13:51,801
<i>Hey, guys, we're here!</i>

249
00:13:52,000 --> 00:13:53,764
<i>Whoo!</i>

250
00:13:53,840 --> 00:13:56,002
<i>Someone wake up
Sleeping Beauty back there.</i>

251
00:14:01,760 --> 00:14:03,444
<i>Are we there yet?</i>

252
00:14:11,200 --> 00:14:12,361
You okay?

253
00:14:14,800 --> 00:14:15,801
Yeah.

254
00:14:17,320 --> 00:14:19,448
<i>It all happened so long ago.</i>

255
00:14:19,560 --> 00:14:22,131
<i>Little Billy Murphy
went to camp here decades ago.</i>

256
00:14:22,320 --> 00:14:26,928
<i>And he was always picked on
for being different, ugly.</i>

257
00:14:27,160 --> 00:14:30,528
<i>And then one summer,
the hottest one on record,</i>

258
00:14:30,640 --> 00:14:33,246
<i>the counselors decided
to play a little prank on him.</i>

259
00:14:37,120 --> 00:14:38,201
<i>No one really knows
how Billy was</i>

260
00:14:38,280 --> 00:14:40,851
<i>before it happened.</i>

261
00:14:40,920 --> 00:14:42,604
<i>The counselors hated him,</i>

262
00:14:42,680 --> 00:14:44,921
<i>and the other kids
bullied him mercilessly.</i>

263
00:14:45,200 --> 00:14:47,328
Stop! Go away!

264
00:14:51,960 --> 00:14:54,122
<i>Billy, open up.</i>

265
00:14:54,200 --> 00:14:55,531
<i>I know how to get him out.</i>

266
00:15:19,600 --> 00:15:21,807
<i>Soak this moment in, babe,</i>

267
00:15:21,880 --> 00:15:24,042
<i>because you're always
gonna remember me.</i>

268
00:15:24,480 --> 00:15:26,050
<i>What does that tattoo mean?</i>

269
00:15:26,120 --> 00:15:28,043
<i>It was given to me in juvie.</i>

270
00:15:28,120 --> 00:15:31,841
<i>I was caught stealing cherries.
I'm a... I'm a cherry thief.</i>

271
00:15:36,480 --> 00:15:37,481
<i>Neat.</i>

272
00:15:52,040 --> 00:15:53,041
Oh.

273
00:15:54,280 --> 00:15:55,725
<i>Nice legs.</i>

274
00:15:56,760 --> 00:15:57,886
<i>What time they open?</i>

275
00:16:08,040 --> 00:16:09,041
<i>Kurt?</i>

276
00:16:17,360 --> 00:16:18,361
<i>Kurt?</i>

277
00:16:19,160 --> 00:16:21,242
I'm going to get some air.

278
00:16:49,080 --> 00:16:50,525
The exits are blocked!

279
00:16:51,640 --> 00:16:52,801
Duncan, is there an exit
behind the screen?

280
00:16:52,880 --> 00:16:53,927
Yes. Yes.

281
00:16:56,480 --> 00:16:57,766
Come on!
Go, go, go.

282
00:17:08,960 --> 00:17:10,041
Go, go, go.

283
00:17:47,080 --> 00:17:48,764
Max! Oh, God!
What happened?

284
00:17:48,880 --> 00:17:51,042
Where the hell are we?
I don't know.

285
00:17:51,120 --> 00:17:52,281
Did the theater burn down?

286
00:17:53,600 --> 00:17:56,524
That was the scariest
thing I have ever seen.

287
00:17:57,080 --> 00:17:59,651
You're alive!
Oh, thank God!

288
00:17:59,720 --> 00:18:00,721
What does poison ivy look like?

289
00:18:00,800 --> 00:18:01,881
Because I think I got...

290
00:18:01,960 --> 00:18:02,961
Help me.

291
00:18:04,840 --> 00:18:06,001
Guys, somebody's coming.

292
00:18:08,240 --> 00:18:10,049
<i>♪ Oh, Mickey, you're so fine</i>

293
00:18:10,120 --> 00:18:11,531
<i>♪ You're so fine
you blow my mind</i>

294
00:18:11,600 --> 00:18:13,602
<i>♪ Hey, Mickey
Hey, Mickey</i>

295
00:18:14,720 --> 00:18:16,324
<i>♪ Oh, Mickey, you're so fine</i>

296
00:18:16,400 --> 00:18:17,925
<i>♪ You're so fine
you blow my mind</i>

297
00:18:18,120 --> 00:18:19,690
<i>♪ Hey, Mickey
Hey, Mickey</i>

298
00:18:20,320 --> 00:18:22,971
Hey, do you guys know
the way to Camp Blue Finch?

299
00:18:23,080 --> 00:18:25,208
Tina!
Yeah?

300
00:18:27,520 --> 00:18:28,851
<i>♪ Oh, Mickey, you're so fine</i>

301
00:18:28,960 --> 00:18:30,371
<i>♪ You're so fine
you blow my mind</i>

302
00:18:30,440 --> 00:18:31,771
<i>♪ Hey, Mickey ♪</i>

303
00:18:37,960 --> 00:18:39,530
Oh, my God.

304
00:18:39,600 --> 00:18:40,931
I'm having a psychotic episode.

305
00:18:41,400 --> 00:18:43,129
We all saw
the same thing, right?

306
00:18:43,200 --> 00:18:45,441
Maybe it's a dream.
A collective dream.

307
00:18:45,560 --> 00:18:47,722
If this is a dream,
then there's a very strong chance

308
00:18:47,800 --> 00:18:49,529
that my dad's going
to come up to us naked

309
00:18:49,600 --> 00:18:51,921
and offer us some pecan pie.

310
00:18:52,000 --> 00:18:55,322
But don't take any.
It is not pecan pie.

311
00:18:55,880 --> 00:18:56,881
Oh.

312
00:19:00,000 --> 00:19:03,163
Maybe we're dead
and this is heaven.

313
00:19:03,240 --> 00:19:04,241
This can't be heaven.

314
00:19:04,320 --> 00:19:05,845
Max is here and she's Jewish.

315
00:19:05,920 --> 00:19:06,967
Oh, right.

316
00:19:07,080 --> 00:19:08,411
Well, maybe it's Jewish heaven.

317
00:19:10,240 --> 00:19:11,241
Look!

318
00:19:12,240 --> 00:19:14,242
<i>♪ Oh, Mickey, you're so fine</i>

319
00:19:14,320 --> 00:19:15,367
<i>♪ You're so fine
you blow my mind</i>

320
00:19:15,440 --> 00:19:18,649
<i>♪ Hey, Mickey
Hey, Mickey</i>

321
00:19:18,760 --> 00:19:20,205
<i>♪ Oh, Mickey, you're so fine</i>

322
00:19:20,280 --> 00:19:21,486
<i>♪ You're so fine
you blow my mind</i>

323
00:19:21,560 --> 00:19:23,164
<i>♪ Hey, Mickey ♪</i>

324
00:19:23,240 --> 00:19:25,811
Hey, do you guys know
the way to Camp Blue Finch?

325
00:19:25,920 --> 00:19:27,206
Uh, yeah.

326
00:19:27,280 --> 00:19:29,851
Just keep going
the way you're going.

327
00:19:30,320 --> 00:19:32,846
Oh, wow, okay.
Thanks so much.

328
00:19:35,720 --> 00:19:39,008
We're not dead.
We're insane!

329
00:19:39,480 --> 00:19:41,050
No, we're not.

330
00:19:41,120 --> 00:19:43,487
And I don't think we're
in the Valley anymore.

331
00:19:47,720 --> 00:19:49,370
Is anybody getting any bars?

332
00:19:49,440 --> 00:19:50,771
No.

333
00:19:50,840 --> 00:19:52,729
Eight, seven...

334
00:19:52,800 --> 00:19:54,882
...six, five...

335
00:19:59,120 --> 00:20:00,724
<i>♪ Oh, Mickey, you're so fine</i>

336
00:20:00,800 --> 00:20:02,006
<i>♪ You're so fine
you blow my mind</i>

337
00:20:02,080 --> 00:20:04,560
<i>♪ Hey, Mickey
Hey, Mickey ♪</i>

338
00:20:05,160 --> 00:20:07,766
Hey, do you guys know
the way to Camp Blue Finch?

339
00:20:07,840 --> 00:20:10,127
Yeah, actually we're counselors,

340
00:20:10,200 --> 00:20:12,965
and we can show you
if you'd just give us a ride.

341
00:20:13,040 --> 00:20:14,769
Oh, rad! Yeah, hop in.

342
00:20:14,840 --> 00:20:15,887
Tubular!

343
00:20:15,960 --> 00:20:18,201
Dude, what are you doing?

344
00:20:18,320 --> 00:20:21,290
Do we have a choice?
We're kind of stuck.

345
00:20:21,360 --> 00:20:22,407
Let's go.

346
00:20:22,600 --> 00:20:23,726
Max.

347
00:20:28,920 --> 00:20:29,967
Come on, guys.

348
00:20:34,320 --> 00:20:35,651
You guys coming?

349
00:20:36,520 --> 00:20:37,521
<i>♪ Hey, Mickey ♪</i>

350
00:20:42,480 --> 00:20:44,562
I can't believe
you guys are counselors, too.

351
00:20:44,680 --> 00:20:46,489
We've never had
this many before.

352
00:20:46,560 --> 00:20:47,607
When the kids
get here next week,

353
00:20:47,680 --> 00:20:48,886
they're gonna be so pumped.

354
00:20:48,960 --> 00:20:50,610
Hey, where are
you guys' suitcases?

355
00:20:50,680 --> 00:20:52,887
Because, honestly, your clothes,

356
00:20:52,960 --> 00:20:54,121
they're disgusting.

357
00:20:54,200 --> 00:20:55,770
Says the guy in the crop top.

358
00:20:55,840 --> 00:20:57,001
What's up?

359
00:20:57,080 --> 00:20:59,606
Are you guys poor people?
Are you guys poor?

360
00:20:59,680 --> 00:21:02,445
Uh, we packed light. Yeah.
Mmm-hmm.

361
00:21:02,520 --> 00:21:03,726
What did you pack, Tina?

362
00:21:03,800 --> 00:21:07,168
The basics, bikini, mouthwash, diaphragm.

363
00:21:07,280 --> 00:21:09,851
Hell, yeah, you did.

364
00:21:09,920 --> 00:21:11,524
'Cause they're
gonna get so naked.

365
00:21:12,560 --> 00:21:13,721
How did you know?

366
00:21:15,120 --> 00:21:17,202
Spring break, forever.

367
00:21:17,280 --> 00:21:20,921
Hey, guys, we're here!

368
00:21:21,160 --> 00:21:22,286
Whoo!

369
00:21:22,920 --> 00:21:25,446
Someone wake up
Sleeping Beauty back there.

370
00:21:32,680 --> 00:21:33,681
Mmm.

371
00:21:34,320 --> 00:21:35,765
Are we there yet?

372
00:21:44,720 --> 00:21:45,960
Oh, hi!

373
00:21:47,320 --> 00:21:49,049
I'm Nancy.
What's your name?

374
00:21:52,160 --> 00:21:53,491
Max.

375
00:21:54,000 --> 00:21:56,082
First time away from home?

376
00:21:56,160 --> 00:21:57,446
It's okay.

377
00:21:57,520 --> 00:21:59,682
It's hard to be away
from your parents, huh?

378
00:22:09,040 --> 00:22:11,805
Best summer ever!

379
00:22:29,080 --> 00:22:31,003
Oh! Yes.

380
00:22:32,920 --> 00:22:33,921
Whew.

381
00:22:34,680 --> 00:22:36,523
Well, kiddo, this is the summer

382
00:22:36,600 --> 00:22:38,967
that's going to
change your life.

383
00:22:40,520 --> 00:22:41,521
No kidding.

384
00:22:42,320 --> 00:22:44,482
Hey, Nance,
that guitar is choice.

385
00:22:44,560 --> 00:22:46,324
Thanks, Blake.
Bitching hair.

386
00:22:46,400 --> 00:22:47,401
Ah.

387
00:22:47,960 --> 00:22:50,964
Okay. So, we're
in the movie.

388
00:22:51,440 --> 00:22:53,727
Uh-huh. How do we get outta here?
Yeah, I like that question.

389
00:22:53,800 --> 00:22:54,926
That's a really,
really good question.

390
00:22:55,000 --> 00:22:56,684
Duncan, can you answer
that question, please?

391
00:22:56,760 --> 00:22:58,285
What are you talking about?

392
00:22:58,360 --> 00:22:59,486
It's 1986!

393
00:22:59,880 --> 00:23:00,920
Our homes don't exist yet.

394
00:23:00,960 --> 00:23:02,530
They're probably just
landfills waiting to be

395
00:23:02,600 --> 00:23:04,011
turned into crappy subdivisions.

396
00:23:04,080 --> 00:23:05,764
We don't exist yet.

397
00:23:05,840 --> 00:23:07,410
I know for a fact my
parents haven't met

398
00:23:07,480 --> 00:23:09,528
because I was
an unplanned child.

399
00:23:10,600 --> 00:23:12,682
Anyone wanna help me
pick some strawberries?

400
00:23:12,760 --> 00:23:16,207
No, but I'll give you a hand
with those melons.

401
00:23:16,400 --> 00:23:19,244
Talking about her boobs!
You guys get me, right?

402
00:23:19,320 --> 00:23:21,004
Yeah, we do, brother.

403
00:23:22,760 --> 00:23:25,411
Kurt is insatiable.

404
00:23:25,480 --> 00:23:27,482
Um, okay,
so Mimi's in the woods,

405
00:23:27,560 --> 00:23:30,006
that means everything
is right on schedule.

406
00:23:30,520 --> 00:23:31,681
She hooks up with that hiker.

407
00:23:31,760 --> 00:23:33,250
But then she gets killed, right?

408
00:23:33,320 --> 00:23:36,847
Yeah, exactly.
Everyone who has sex in this movie dies.

409
00:23:36,920 --> 00:23:37,921
It's awesome.

410
00:23:38,920 --> 00:23:40,524
I got into bodybuilding big time.

411
00:23:40,600 --> 00:23:42,045
Yeah. Oh, my God,
can I touch it?

412
00:23:42,120 --> 00:23:43,531
Yeah, touch it.
Oh, wow.

413
00:23:43,640 --> 00:23:45,130
The backside's just as hard.

414
00:23:45,200 --> 00:23:46,201
Touch the backside.

415
00:23:47,120 --> 00:23:49,122
That's right. Everyone.

416
00:23:49,400 --> 00:23:50,811
I'm with Gertie on this one.

417
00:23:50,880 --> 00:23:51,927
Let's just take
their van and bail.

418
00:23:52,000 --> 00:23:53,206
What do we have to lose?

419
00:23:53,280 --> 00:23:54,770
Yeah, did I say that?
I did? Okay.

420
00:23:55,280 --> 00:23:58,045
We actually probably
shouldn't talk to them.

421
00:23:59,600 --> 00:24:01,364
Oh! What's up, funbags?

422
00:24:01,440 --> 00:24:03,966
Funbags. Right.
Yay, feminism.

423
00:24:04,040 --> 00:24:06,850
Listen, we need to borrow
your van for a little while.

424
00:24:06,920 --> 00:24:08,251
Is that okay? Yeah?

425
00:24:08,440 --> 00:24:11,410
I don't know.
What's in it for me?

426
00:24:12,120 --> 00:24:14,487
How about my friends
don't kick your ass?

427
00:24:19,640 --> 00:24:21,768
Oh! This guy's your friend?

428
00:24:21,840 --> 00:24:23,171
Yeah, right.
You want to go?

429
00:24:23,240 --> 00:24:25,527
No, no. God, no.
Bicep, smash.

430
00:24:25,600 --> 00:24:27,762
And that would kill you.
That's a karate technique.

431
00:24:27,840 --> 00:24:29,410
No, I don't.
I've never actually

432
00:24:29,480 --> 00:24:30,970
fought anyone before in my life.

433
00:24:31,040 --> 00:24:32,849
Yeah, well, I have.
So many times.

434
00:24:34,840 --> 00:24:36,046
Seven times.

435
00:24:36,720 --> 00:24:40,611
Hey, this is so weird.
Do me a favor and just zing me.
Just get me.

436
00:24:40,720 --> 00:24:44,691
Fine. How about
you go suck a turd?

437
00:24:46,720 --> 00:24:48,290
The writing is so bad.

438
00:24:48,840 --> 00:24:54,324
Okay, tell you what.
You find the keys and the van's yours.

439
00:24:57,120 --> 00:24:58,121
Oops.

440
00:24:58,320 --> 00:24:59,401
Really?

441
00:25:00,640 --> 00:25:02,165
I'm glad that you die.

442
00:25:02,240 --> 00:25:03,241
- What?
- Nothing!

443
00:25:03,320 --> 00:25:06,767
What she meant to say was,
that we all die eventually.

444
00:25:06,880 --> 00:25:09,645
Technically, we start dying
the moment we're born.

445
00:25:09,720 --> 00:25:10,767
Yeah, right.

446
00:25:11,880 --> 00:25:15,089
Yes, but not to overwhelm you...
Okay.

447
00:25:15,200 --> 00:25:16,690
I liked you when you were
laughing at my jokes.

448
00:25:16,760 --> 00:25:18,125
Now, I just think you're weird.

449
00:25:18,200 --> 00:25:19,406
Okay, let's just go get the...

450
00:25:19,480 --> 00:25:20,686
Sorry. Let's go
get the keys.

451
00:25:36,520 --> 00:25:38,648
Oh, hey, you wanna
give me a hand?

452
00:25:39,960 --> 00:25:40,961
Sure.

453
00:25:41,360 --> 00:25:42,600
All right.
Let's rock and roll.

454
00:25:43,440 --> 00:25:45,363
Oh, my God.
It really is you.

455
00:25:46,240 --> 00:25:48,811
What?
Nothing.

456
00:25:48,960 --> 00:25:49,961
Whoo!

457
00:25:51,000 --> 00:25:53,002
All right!
Push-up time!

458
00:25:53,520 --> 00:25:54,521
So, um...

459
00:25:56,320 --> 00:25:59,051
Kurt told me he
wants to do it later.

460
00:25:59,920 --> 00:26:01,490
Wow. Just like that?

461
00:26:01,560 --> 00:26:02,800
I know!

462
00:26:02,880 --> 00:26:05,406
And it's like, I can't
stay a virgin forever, you know?

463
00:26:05,480 --> 00:26:06,561
And he's been
with a lot of girls,

464
00:26:06,640 --> 00:26:08,165
so he can probably, like,

465
00:26:08,240 --> 00:26:10,288
I don't know, help me along.

466
00:26:11,000 --> 00:26:12,001
You shouldn't have sex!

467
00:26:12,080 --> 00:26:13,081
Why?

468
00:26:13,640 --> 00:26:15,563
Because I heard
that sex can kill you.

469
00:26:15,640 --> 00:26:19,247
Max. Sex isn't
anything to be afraid of.

470
00:26:19,320 --> 00:26:20,731
I mean, Tina's already
done it twice today,

471
00:26:20,800 --> 00:26:22,325
and look at her,
she's totally normal.

472
00:26:26,920 --> 00:26:27,921
Whoo! Whoo! Whoo!

473
00:26:28,000 --> 00:26:29,331
She says the best
feeling in the world

474
00:26:29,440 --> 00:26:31,522
is getting stoned and
doing it on a waterbed.

475
00:26:32,560 --> 00:26:34,642
Don't hang around Tina.

476
00:26:34,720 --> 00:26:36,927
No, but I told myself
that I was going to

477
00:26:37,000 --> 00:26:38,411
lose my virginity this summer.

478
00:26:38,480 --> 00:26:40,289
Get drunk!
Not necessarily in that order.

479
00:26:40,360 --> 00:26:41,930
Please, just trust me.

480
00:26:42,880 --> 00:26:44,291
You sound like my mom.

481
00:26:45,600 --> 00:26:46,761
Right back at you.

482
00:26:46,840 --> 00:26:48,126
Hello, hi.

483
00:26:48,200 --> 00:26:50,806
Uh, we have to go get everyone.
Let's go.

484
00:26:50,920 --> 00:26:52,760
We will pick this up again.
Is that understood?

485
00:26:52,840 --> 00:26:54,251
In the meantime,

486
00:26:54,320 --> 00:26:56,240
just stay away from Kurt
and keep your shorts on.

487
00:26:57,200 --> 00:26:58,201
Okay.

488
00:26:58,760 --> 00:26:59,921
What are you doing?

489
00:27:01,320 --> 00:27:04,130
Dibs on the one that looks like
Ricky Schroder.

490
00:27:04,240 --> 00:27:06,925
Their hair's so flat.
It's making me sad.

491
00:27:07,720 --> 00:27:09,722
That girl with the freckles
is sort of cute.

492
00:27:09,840 --> 00:27:10,887
You know, none of them

493
00:27:10,960 --> 00:27:12,849
are on the counselors' roster.

494
00:27:15,680 --> 00:27:18,126
Where did they come from?

495
00:27:22,600 --> 00:27:24,443
We are never gonna
find these keys.

496
00:27:24,520 --> 00:27:26,682
Not with that attitude,
we're not.

497
00:27:27,480 --> 00:27:28,925
Though,
you are correct.

498
00:27:37,920 --> 00:27:39,445
Let's go back. Now.

499
00:27:39,520 --> 00:27:41,170
Shh.
It's happening.

500
00:27:41,680 --> 00:27:43,409
- We have to warn her.
- No. No.

501
00:27:43,480 --> 00:27:45,323
Just think of them as animals

502
00:27:45,400 --> 00:27:46,640
on a nature preserve, okay?

503
00:27:46,720 --> 00:27:50,167
Our duty is not to disrupt,
but to observe.

504
00:27:51,240 --> 00:27:52,765
Oh!

505
00:27:53,080 --> 00:27:56,243
Oh, gosh,
you startled me.

506
00:27:56,360 --> 00:27:58,328
Sorry,
I'm looking for town.

507
00:27:58,440 --> 00:28:00,602
So, I just go down
that path all the way?

508
00:28:00,720 --> 00:28:03,405
A guy like you
can go anywhere he wants.

509
00:28:04,040 --> 00:28:05,121
I can't believe we're just gonna

510
00:28:05,200 --> 00:28:07,089
casually watch
someone get murdered.

511
00:28:07,160 --> 00:28:08,446
What is this, Detroit?

512
00:28:09,440 --> 00:28:11,204
Mmm.

513
00:28:13,200 --> 00:28:15,521
What is that noise?
It's Billy. He's coming.

514
00:28:15,640 --> 00:28:19,611
Let's get out of here then.
No, no. Stay, stay.

515
00:28:31,120 --> 00:28:32,167
Did you hear something?

516
00:28:32,240 --> 00:28:33,366
Baby, I didn't hear a thing.

517
00:28:37,960 --> 00:28:42,124
Give me a second.
Go over there. Get ready.

518
00:28:55,720 --> 00:28:57,165
Okay! Where's the beef?

519
00:29:04,120 --> 00:29:06,930
Come on, man!
I said, where's the...

520
00:29:21,520 --> 00:29:22,521
Run!

521
00:29:22,600 --> 00:29:24,011
Go, go, go, go!

522
00:29:24,320 --> 00:29:25,480
Guys, guys, wait, wait, wait.

523
00:29:25,520 --> 00:29:26,851
Duncan!

524
00:29:26,920 --> 00:29:28,331
What are you doing?

525
00:29:28,400 --> 00:29:29,845
Duncan.

526
00:29:29,920 --> 00:29:32,526
It's okay.
He won't hurt us.

527
00:29:32,840 --> 00:29:34,365
He would've
killed me by now, okay?

528
00:29:34,600 --> 00:29:37,524
I think it's because we're not
actually part of the movie,

529
00:29:37,600 --> 00:29:39,523
he doesn't really
know what to do with us.

530
00:29:39,600 --> 00:29:41,284
Isn't that right, Billy Boy?

531
00:29:41,840 --> 00:29:44,047
Man, you are big and scary.

532
00:29:44,720 --> 00:29:46,484
I wonder if all this blood
is just corn syrup, you know?

533
00:29:46,560 --> 00:29:47,846
Like these characters
are walking around

534
00:29:47,920 --> 00:29:49,843
with just corn syrup
in their veins, you know?

535
00:29:50,720 --> 00:29:52,370
Let's give it a shot here.

536
00:29:54,240 --> 00:29:58,086
Oh, God.
No, that is, um...
That is not corn syrup.

537
00:29:58,160 --> 00:30:00,481
That is...
Oh, God, that's blood.

538
00:30:01,920 --> 00:30:03,684
All the more reason for us
to get the hell outta here.

539
00:30:03,760 --> 00:30:04,966
No, no. Look,
everything in this world

540
00:30:05,040 --> 00:30:06,769
is running exactly on schedule.

541
00:30:06,840 --> 00:30:08,251
Besides, to leave,

542
00:30:08,800 --> 00:30:11,246
we probably have to wait
until the movie's over, or something.

543
00:30:11,320 --> 00:30:12,845
Well, when is that
going to happen?

544
00:30:12,920 --> 00:30:14,524
Okay, look, movies like this end

545
00:30:14,600 --> 00:30:16,602
when the final girl
kills the main bad guy

546
00:30:16,680 --> 00:30:17,761
and the credits roll.

547
00:30:17,840 --> 00:30:19,205
It's actually
pretty sick in this one.

548
00:30:19,280 --> 00:30:21,680
She kicks up the sword and
she kills him with his own machete

549
00:30:21,720 --> 00:30:22,767
and she's like...

550
00:30:22,880 --> 00:30:24,769
- And Billy's like...
- It goes right through his hands.

551
00:30:24,840 --> 00:30:26,649
Like...

552
00:30:27,800 --> 00:30:31,202
- Head splits open. Pfft!
- Punches it.

553
00:30:31,280 --> 00:30:32,964
Brain goes out...

554
00:30:33,040 --> 00:30:34,041
Duncan!
Ugh.

555
00:30:34,560 --> 00:30:37,689
Anyway, this smoking
hot girl called Paula,

556
00:30:37,760 --> 00:30:40,001
she arrives in the next reel,
she's the final girl.

557
00:30:40,600 --> 00:30:45,288
Oh, yeah, she is the only one
in this movie who doesn't die.

558
00:30:45,360 --> 00:30:47,283
All we've got to do
is stick with her

559
00:30:47,360 --> 00:30:48,725
and we're going to have
the best seats in the house.

560
00:30:48,800 --> 00:30:51,610
Trust me, this last battle
will blow your minds.

561
00:30:51,680 --> 00:30:53,523
- Okay, selfie time.
- Duncan!

562
00:31:12,440 --> 00:31:15,330
Oh, my God.
Oh, my God.

563
00:31:32,680 --> 00:31:34,250
I think I almost
just pissed my pants.

564
00:31:34,320 --> 00:31:35,560
You did piss your pants.

565
00:31:35,640 --> 00:31:36,721
What? No, I didn't.

566
00:31:53,000 --> 00:31:55,002
Let's get out of here!

567
00:31:58,320 --> 00:31:59,360
Wait! Where are you going?

568
00:31:59,400 --> 00:32:00,845
You're gonna miss
the slumber party.

569
00:32:00,960 --> 00:32:02,724
You came back! Yay!

570
00:32:05,920 --> 00:32:06,921
This way!

571
00:32:07,120 --> 00:32:08,087
Wait! Where are you going?

572
00:32:08,160 --> 00:32:09,650
You're gonna miss
the slumber party.

573
00:32:09,800 --> 00:32:11,768
You came back! Yay!

574
00:32:13,480 --> 00:32:15,005
What is happening?

575
00:32:16,280 --> 00:32:17,725
Wait! Where are you going?

576
00:32:17,800 --> 00:32:19,040
You're gonna miss
the slumber party.

577
00:32:19,120 --> 00:32:21,043
You came back! Yay!

578
00:32:21,520 --> 00:32:23,682
Oh, my God!
Oh, my God!

579
00:32:26,280 --> 00:32:28,567
I don't think
Billy's the only problem.

580
00:32:29,480 --> 00:32:31,130
It's the movie.

581
00:32:31,200 --> 00:32:32,531
The movie won't let us leave.

582
00:32:40,200 --> 00:32:43,568
<i>♪ Michael,
row your boat ashore</i>

583
00:32:43,640 --> 00:32:46,644
<i>♪ Hallelujah</i>

584
00:32:47,040 --> 00:32:50,044
<i>♪ Michael,
row your boat ashore</i>

585
00:32:50,480 --> 00:32:53,484
<i>♪ Hallelujah</i>

586
00:32:53,760 --> 00:32:57,003
<i>♪ Sister,
help to trim the sails</i>

587
00:32:57,280 --> 00:33:00,284
<i>♪ Hallelujah</i>

588
00:33:00,440 --> 00:33:03,808
<i>♪ Sister,
help to trim the sails</i>

589
00:33:03,880 --> 00:33:07,009
<i>♪ Hallelujah</i>

590
00:33:07,400 --> 00:33:10,404
<i>♪ Jordan's river
is deep and wide</i>

591
00:33:10,800 --> 00:33:13,804
<i>♪ Hallelujah</i>

592
00:33:14,160 --> 00:33:17,164
<i>♪ Got a home on the other side</i>

593
00:33:17,440 --> 00:33:20,444
<i>♪ Hallelujah ♪</i>

594
00:33:20,720 --> 00:33:22,404
Come on, everyone.
Sing along!

595
00:33:23,680 --> 00:33:27,082
Duncan is dead.
We have to warn them.

596
00:33:27,160 --> 00:33:28,764
Please. They're morons.

597
00:33:28,840 --> 00:33:30,649
I wanna know where
they keep the hardware in this dump.

598
00:33:30,720 --> 00:33:33,200
I want chainsaws and
I want big-ass knives,
and I want them now.

599
00:33:33,640 --> 00:33:35,927
What am I gonna
tell our parents?

600
00:33:37,360 --> 00:33:39,886
I don't want to die here, guys.

601
00:33:40,960 --> 00:33:44,089
Me neither.
There's got to be a way to get home.

602
00:33:56,280 --> 00:33:58,009
Did I miss the <i>Kumbaya</i> circle?

603
00:33:58,160 --> 00:33:59,400
Paula, you're just in time

604
00:33:59,480 --> 00:34:01,289
to start setting up
for the slumber party.

605
00:34:01,360 --> 00:34:04,682
Yeah, we took a vote
and you get to share my sleeping bag.

606
00:34:05,200 --> 00:34:06,884
Thanks, Kurt.
But I'm saving myself

607
00:34:06,960 --> 00:34:08,803
for someone who
doesn't have a needle dick.

608
00:34:09,880 --> 00:34:10,881
Yeah right, it's like

609
00:34:10,960 --> 00:34:14,282
a hammer dick, if anything.

610
00:34:14,360 --> 00:34:15,407
It's a sledgehammer.

611
00:34:15,960 --> 00:34:17,007
Uh, who are they?

612
00:34:18,560 --> 00:34:20,847
Oh, they're the new counselors.
They're super nice.

613
00:34:20,920 --> 00:34:22,365
We don't have new counselors.

614
00:34:22,440 --> 00:34:25,171
Well, now we do.

615
00:34:25,280 --> 00:34:28,045
All right, guys,
let's split up into groups and get busy.

616
00:34:28,120 --> 00:34:29,121
Whoo!

617
00:34:33,200 --> 00:34:34,929
That's her.
That's Paula.

618
00:34:35,000 --> 00:34:36,126
She's the final girl, right?

619
00:34:36,200 --> 00:34:37,201
She's the one that kills Billy.

620
00:34:37,280 --> 00:34:39,089
We just have to stay with her
till the end of the movie.

621
00:34:39,160 --> 00:34:41,242
I'm sticking to that bitch
like white on rice.

622
00:34:41,320 --> 00:34:43,891
Okay. Now, we just have
to keep Billy away from us.

623
00:34:43,960 --> 00:34:45,246
It's just like Duncan said.

624
00:34:45,320 --> 00:34:47,049
The moment a top comes off,
Billy shows up.

625
00:34:47,160 --> 00:34:48,969
- Vicki, stick with Paula and Tina.
Mmm-hmm.

626
00:34:49,040 --> 00:34:51,008
Gertie, you take Blake.
Chris, take Kurt.

627
00:34:51,080 --> 00:34:52,491
No, I want Chris
to stick with me.

628
00:34:52,560 --> 00:34:54,085
No, we have to cover everyone.

629
00:34:54,160 --> 00:34:55,207
I'll stick with my mom.

630
00:34:55,320 --> 00:34:56,606
You know that's
not your mom, right?

631
00:34:56,680 --> 00:34:58,728
Vicki!
Don't defend her.

632
00:34:58,800 --> 00:35:00,962
This delusional shit
is gonna get us all killed.

633
00:35:11,880 --> 00:35:12,927
Ooh! Whoa!

634
00:35:13,000 --> 00:35:14,843
Look at the pair on her!

635
00:35:14,920 --> 00:35:17,241
I would just motorboat
those for hours.

636
00:35:17,360 --> 00:35:18,771
Yeah, but look
at those articles,

637
00:35:19,520 --> 00:35:21,170
I could read those
all night long.

638
00:35:21,920 --> 00:35:23,809
What are you, a fag?

639
00:35:23,880 --> 00:35:26,884
You don't like some
nice big hoots?

640
00:35:26,960 --> 00:35:28,121
Hooting!

641
00:35:28,560 --> 00:35:30,927
My dads are gay.
So, shut the hell up.

642
00:35:31,080 --> 00:35:33,447
Yeah, right!
Gay guys can't have kids.

643
00:35:33,520 --> 00:35:35,602
They're too busy going to discos

644
00:35:35,680 --> 00:35:36,880
and having sex with each other.

645
00:35:36,920 --> 00:35:39,002
It's actually
a pretty cool lifestyle.

646
00:35:43,920 --> 00:35:44,967
Oh!

647
00:35:45,280 --> 00:35:46,725
Hi.
Hey.

648
00:35:46,800 --> 00:35:48,086
I really like your pin.

649
00:35:48,160 --> 00:35:49,446
Oh, thank you.

650
00:35:51,920 --> 00:35:53,126
Where'd you get yours?

651
00:35:53,200 --> 00:35:54,531
My friends gave them to me.

652
00:35:54,600 --> 00:35:56,250
Where'd you get yours?

653
00:35:56,320 --> 00:35:58,163
Um, I made it, actually,

654
00:35:58,240 --> 00:36:02,131
at this, like, prison
pen-pal convention thing.

655
00:36:02,520 --> 00:36:04,249
Oh, that's awesome!

656
00:36:04,320 --> 00:36:06,288
Yeah.

657
00:36:09,120 --> 00:36:11,521
Hey, what's up
with this cassette?

658
00:36:11,600 --> 00:36:13,011
There are no holes in it.

659
00:36:14,760 --> 00:36:16,000
Give me that.

660
00:36:16,240 --> 00:36:19,608
What are these?
No, no. Bad!

661
00:36:20,040 --> 00:36:22,646
Not for you. Very bad!

662
00:36:30,040 --> 00:36:32,202
It's too bad all the girls
are so busted, huh?

663
00:36:32,560 --> 00:36:34,050
The only way you or I
are going to get any

664
00:36:34,120 --> 00:36:35,770
is with angel eyes over there.

665
00:36:36,680 --> 00:36:39,126
What? Are you nuts?

666
00:36:39,320 --> 00:36:43,689
No, no, no. These girls
are slamming, my man.

667
00:36:44,120 --> 00:36:46,646
And I am going
to do all of them.

668
00:36:47,920 --> 00:36:50,207
Yum! By the way,
what's with you and Max?

669
00:36:50,280 --> 00:36:51,281
Are you guys...

670
00:36:55,240 --> 00:36:56,401
Are you guys having sex?

671
00:36:56,480 --> 00:36:58,721
Because if not,
I wouldn't mind

672
00:36:58,800 --> 00:37:00,643
bench pressing her
with my dumbbell.

673
00:37:00,800 --> 00:37:02,768
Oh!
Listen, brah,

674
00:37:02,840 --> 00:37:04,569
you're not bench pressing
anyone with your dumbbell.

675
00:37:04,640 --> 00:37:07,166
If I so much hear your dumbbell
took a Pilates class...

676
00:37:07,240 --> 00:37:09,368
What?
...I'm gonna cut it off.

677
00:37:11,040 --> 00:37:12,405
I swiped a whole
case of this stuff

678
00:37:12,480 --> 00:37:13,970
from my uncle before coming.

679
00:37:14,080 --> 00:37:16,040
I'm gonna need it
if I'm stuck here for the summer

680
00:37:16,080 --> 00:37:18,970
instead of souping up
this bitching firebird I found in...

681
00:37:19,040 --> 00:37:21,168
Yeah, yeah, yeah, great.
Where do they keep the chainsaws here?

682
00:37:21,440 --> 00:37:22,521
What?

683
00:37:22,600 --> 00:37:25,001
We might want to find out, right?
Where they keep them?

684
00:37:25,080 --> 00:37:26,241
Because you never know

685
00:37:26,320 --> 00:37:28,482
when you might need a chainsaw.

686
00:37:29,040 --> 00:37:31,361
Why do we need a chainsaw
for a slumber party?

687
00:37:33,080 --> 00:37:35,242
I know what's going to
go down at this camp,

688
00:37:35,320 --> 00:37:37,243
and it's not pretty.

689
00:37:42,000 --> 00:37:44,401
Uh, so, where's that
other guy you came with?

690
00:37:44,960 --> 00:37:45,961
Uh...

691
00:37:46,320 --> 00:37:47,731
My brother.
Mmm-hmm.

692
00:37:47,800 --> 00:37:49,723
Yeah, he's, uh...

693
00:37:50,720 --> 00:37:52,563
He's napping somewhere.

694
00:37:54,240 --> 00:37:56,288
Okay, let's go.
You want to go?

695
00:37:56,360 --> 00:37:59,125
Yeah, let's.
You got all the wood you need.

696
00:38:16,680 --> 00:38:17,920
Mom, no!

697
00:38:25,240 --> 00:38:27,322
Get dressed. Now.
Oh, my God, Max!

698
00:38:27,400 --> 00:38:28,970
What are you doing here?
Get out!

699
00:38:29,040 --> 00:38:30,326
Nancy, if you go
through with this,

700
00:38:30,400 --> 00:38:31,606
you're going to get hurt.

701
00:38:31,680 --> 00:38:34,126
Kurt said he liked me, okay.
He said it.

702
00:38:34,800 --> 00:38:37,371
Yeah, they always say it,
they just don't act like it.

703
00:38:40,960 --> 00:38:43,122
God. You must think
I'm a total zero.

704
00:38:50,160 --> 00:38:55,121
I just wanted to feel
grown-up, special.

705
00:38:57,080 --> 00:38:59,082
You are special.

706
00:38:59,600 --> 00:39:01,921
I'm the shy girl with the
clipboard and the guitar.

707
00:39:02,000 --> 00:39:03,286
Special to who?

708
00:39:05,320 --> 00:39:06,731
Special to me.

709
00:39:11,280 --> 00:39:12,850
Who are you, Max?

710
00:39:15,760 --> 00:39:18,491
Soak this moment in, babe,

711
00:39:18,560 --> 00:39:20,244
because you're always
gonna remember me.

712
00:39:20,360 --> 00:39:21,361
Oh, shit.

713
00:39:21,680 --> 00:39:22,681
Ooh!

714
00:39:22,760 --> 00:39:25,206
Two for the price of one.

715
00:39:25,280 --> 00:39:27,408
You babes just couldn't wait,
could you?

716
00:39:27,520 --> 00:39:29,045
We're leaving.
Too late.

717
00:39:29,440 --> 00:39:32,922
Genie's already out of the bottle.
Make a wish.

718
00:39:33,360 --> 00:39:34,361
Ew.
Ew.

719
00:39:37,000 --> 00:39:38,047
Where's Max?

720
00:39:38,120 --> 00:39:39,804
I don't know.
Do you hear that?

721
00:39:56,160 --> 00:39:58,208
What'd I say, huh?
Leave her alone!

722
00:40:04,800 --> 00:40:08,122
Lock the windows!
Shut the curtains!
He can see us!

723
00:40:08,280 --> 00:40:10,009
Who is he?

724
00:40:10,080 --> 00:40:12,924
Max. You have to
tell them about Billy.

725
00:40:13,320 --> 00:40:15,322
Oh, God. He's here.

726
00:40:16,360 --> 00:40:21,924
Not Billy Murphy?
I mean, he's just a legend.

727
00:40:22,080 --> 00:40:23,525
Oh! I love legends.

728
00:40:23,960 --> 00:40:28,124
Loch Ness, Bigfoot,
Bon Jovi. All of them.

729
00:40:29,480 --> 00:40:31,323
It all happened so long ago.

730
00:40:45,960 --> 00:40:48,406
Little Billy Murphy went
to camp here decades ago.

731
00:40:49,920 --> 00:40:51,684
And he was always
picked on for being...

732
00:40:51,800 --> 00:40:53,882
Um, guys?

733
00:40:53,960 --> 00:40:56,008
...different, ugly.

734
00:40:57,080 --> 00:40:59,401
And then one summer...
This is bad.

735
00:40:59,480 --> 00:41:01,323
...the hottest one on record,

736
00:41:01,400 --> 00:41:04,370
the counselors decided
to play a little prank on him.

737
00:41:06,800 --> 00:41:08,211
What's happening?

738
00:41:19,080 --> 00:41:20,081
Oh.

739
00:41:20,200 --> 00:41:23,522
This is...
What, are we home?

740
00:41:23,600 --> 00:41:26,444
Oh, God, why am I colorblind?
Am I having a stroke?

741
00:41:28,880 --> 00:41:30,166
I think we're in a flashback.

742
00:41:30,240 --> 00:41:31,730
<i>♪ Lollipop, lollipop</i>

743
00:41:31,880 --> 00:41:33,370
<i>♪ Oh, lolli, lolli, lolli</i>

744
00:41:33,440 --> 00:41:35,010
<i>♪ Lollipop, lollipop</i>

745
00:41:35,080 --> 00:41:36,684
<i>♪ Oh, lolli, lolli, lolli</i>

746
00:41:36,760 --> 00:41:38,091
<i>♪ Lollipop, lollipop</i>

747
00:41:38,160 --> 00:41:40,049
<i>♪ Oh, lolli, lolli, lolli</i>

748
00:41:40,120 --> 00:41:41,326
<i>♪ Lollipop ♪</i>

749
00:41:41,400 --> 00:41:44,290
<i>It started as
just another ordinary day.</i>

750
00:41:44,400 --> 00:41:46,129
<i>But little did they know...</i>
What the hell is that voice?

751
00:41:46,200 --> 00:41:47,920
<i>...something was about
to go horribly wrong.</i>

752
00:41:48,080 --> 00:41:49,764
<i>No one really knows
how Billy was</i>

753
00:41:49,840 --> 00:41:51,490
<i>before it happened.</i>

754
00:41:51,560 --> 00:41:54,882
<i>The counselors hated him,
and the other kids bullied him mercilessly.</i>

755
00:41:54,960 --> 00:41:56,291
Stop!

756
00:41:56,360 --> 00:41:57,771
Where'd you get
these clothes, huh?

757
00:42:01,120 --> 00:42:03,327
Guys, that's Billy.
Come on, Billy.

758
00:42:05,080 --> 00:42:07,447
Hey, what are you
little idiots doing?

759
00:42:07,520 --> 00:42:09,443
Billy's in there,
and he's been in there forever.

760
00:42:09,520 --> 00:42:11,409
<i>Billy locked
himself in the outhouse,</i>

761
00:42:11,480 --> 00:42:13,323
<i>thinking he'd be safe,
but he was wrong.</i>

762
00:42:13,400 --> 00:42:16,131
Billy.
Billy, open up.

763
00:42:16,760 --> 00:42:18,683
I know how to get him out.

764
00:42:37,560 --> 00:42:40,006
<i>Billy had third-degree
burns all over his body</i>

765
00:42:40,080 --> 00:42:41,650
<i>because of
the counselors' prank.</i>

766
00:42:42,200 --> 00:42:45,602
<i>And the only thing that could
distract Billy from his terrible pain,</i>

767
00:42:45,680 --> 00:42:48,650
<i>was thinking about
what had been done to him.</i>

768
00:42:48,720 --> 00:42:52,202
<i>And during those long,
agonizing nights in the burn ward,</i>

769
00:42:52,280 --> 00:42:55,170
<i>Billy's fear was slowly
replaced by something else.</i>

770
00:42:55,840 --> 00:42:57,968
<i>Hatred.</i>

771
00:42:58,800 --> 00:43:01,167
<i>His face would
never be the same.</i>

772
00:43:01,520 --> 00:43:02,726
<i>And so, he made a mask</i>

773
00:43:02,800 --> 00:43:05,041
<i>to hide his scars
on the outside,</i>

774
00:43:05,120 --> 00:43:07,202
<i>but his anger
grew on the inside.</i>

775
00:43:08,080 --> 00:43:10,765
<i>All Billy wanted was
to make everyone as afraid</i>

776
00:43:10,840 --> 00:43:13,525
<i>as he was
on that terrible day.</i>

777
00:43:14,160 --> 00:43:15,764
<i>He started his reign of terror</i>

778
00:43:15,840 --> 00:43:18,446
<i>by returning to
exact his revenge.</i>

779
00:43:31,680 --> 00:43:34,411
<i>He killed
eight counselors that night.</i>

780
00:43:34,480 --> 00:43:37,324
<i>One for every month
he spent in that hospital bed.</i>

781
00:43:37,400 --> 00:43:39,129
<i>And legend has it
Billy still lives</i>

782
00:43:39,200 --> 00:43:41,043
<i>in these woods
in his own little shack,</i>

783
00:43:41,120 --> 00:43:43,441
<i>waiting for new counselors
to cross his path,</i>

784
00:43:43,520 --> 00:43:46,888
<i>waiting to get revenge
again and again.</i>

785
00:44:02,560 --> 00:44:04,244
The car! The car!

786
00:44:04,320 --> 00:44:06,527
Guys, you can't leave!
Literally!

787
00:44:13,800 --> 00:44:17,043
Get up! Get up! Stop!
Don't come any closer.

788
00:44:17,120 --> 00:44:19,282
Okay, just listen.
We can explain.

789
00:44:19,440 --> 00:44:22,330
You can't leave.
None of us can.

790
00:44:22,400 --> 00:44:23,481
Not until he's dead.

791
00:44:23,560 --> 00:44:24,561
Until who's dead?

792
00:44:25,480 --> 00:44:27,005
Billy Murphy.
What?

793
00:44:29,720 --> 00:44:31,131
Drive! Drive!

794
00:44:35,080 --> 00:44:36,525
Look, I'm just
trying to save you.

795
00:44:36,600 --> 00:44:38,841
Why? Why are you
trying to save me?

796
00:44:38,920 --> 00:44:40,410
Well, because you're my...

797
00:44:43,960 --> 00:44:45,166
My first friend here.

798
00:44:48,400 --> 00:44:49,890
Go, go, go, go, go, go, go!

799
00:44:49,960 --> 00:44:51,530
Help me.
I'm not dead!

800
00:44:51,680 --> 00:44:53,603
Duncan!
You're alive!

801
00:44:57,840 --> 00:45:00,366
No, you killed Duncan!

802
00:45:00,440 --> 00:45:04,490
Let's just go to a hotel
and just relax for the night

803
00:45:04,560 --> 00:45:06,688
and maybe we can
get into something.

804
00:45:11,320 --> 00:45:13,721
Oh, my God, Kurt!
Oh, my God!

805
00:45:13,880 --> 00:45:15,564
Paula! She's alive!

806
00:45:15,640 --> 00:45:16,926
Paula, don't move!

807
00:45:23,800 --> 00:45:25,006
Shit!

808
00:45:31,400 --> 00:45:33,721
I can't believe
they're all dead.

809
00:45:33,800 --> 00:45:36,406
They were never alive.

810
00:45:36,480 --> 00:45:38,562
They weren't real.
Neither are you.

811
00:45:38,640 --> 00:45:40,961
Because this is just a movie,

812
00:45:41,040 --> 00:45:44,886
and Paula was the only one
that could kill Billy.

813
00:45:44,960 --> 00:45:46,371
We're screwed.

814
00:45:50,720 --> 00:45:53,246
What does she mean, "just a movie"?

815
00:45:58,920 --> 00:46:01,924
So, we're in a movie?

816
00:46:02,680 --> 00:46:04,125
But this is a horror movie,

817
00:46:04,640 --> 00:46:07,211
and Billy Murphy's
really after all of us.

818
00:46:07,280 --> 00:46:08,960
Why do I have to wear
all this stuff again?

819
00:46:09,000 --> 00:46:10,365
Because you're scripted

820
00:46:10,480 --> 00:46:12,040
to do a striptease
at the slumber party,

821
00:46:12,120 --> 00:46:14,521
and when you take your top off,
Billy comes running.

822
00:46:15,000 --> 00:46:17,651
But why does he hate my boobs?

823
00:46:17,720 --> 00:46:19,006
Because they're not big?

824
00:46:19,080 --> 00:46:21,970
So, wait,
is new wave real?

825
00:46:22,040 --> 00:46:24,088
Yeah. Yeah, of course.

826
00:46:24,240 --> 00:46:26,447
But I'm not real.

827
00:46:26,960 --> 00:46:29,281
You're only real in the movie.

828
00:46:29,360 --> 00:46:31,931
So, yeah, you're real here.

829
00:46:33,480 --> 00:46:34,686
Oh, cool.

830
00:46:35,280 --> 00:46:36,964
Guys, we just wanna get home.

831
00:46:37,040 --> 00:46:38,644
But, okay...

832
00:46:38,720 --> 00:46:40,609
But you said Paula was the
only one who could kill him.

833
00:46:40,680 --> 00:46:42,921
And she just died.

834
00:46:43,160 --> 00:46:46,482
Exactly. Which is why
we need to nominate a new final girl.

835
00:46:48,440 --> 00:46:49,771
And I'm willing to be it.

836
00:46:52,760 --> 00:46:56,526
What?
Well, you're not a virgin.

837
00:46:56,880 --> 00:46:58,564
I am, too, a virgin!

838
00:47:00,080 --> 00:47:02,162
I technically am that...

839
00:47:02,240 --> 00:47:03,446
Whatever, what does it matter?

840
00:47:03,560 --> 00:47:05,642
Because it just does, Vicki.

841
00:47:06,200 --> 00:47:07,725
You have to be
a virgin in this movie

842
00:47:07,800 --> 00:47:09,450
in order to kill Billy, okay?

843
00:47:09,520 --> 00:47:13,923
And the only
true-blue virgin here is Max.

844
00:47:16,360 --> 00:47:17,566
I'm not the only virgin.

845
00:47:18,680 --> 00:47:20,125
Gertie, you're a virgin.

846
00:47:20,200 --> 00:47:22,441
No. Not anymore.

847
00:47:22,560 --> 00:47:24,005
Last summer,
with that guy Gerry.

848
00:47:24,560 --> 00:47:26,005
He had the like weird mustache

849
00:47:26,080 --> 00:47:27,161
and he, like, winked, remember?

850
00:47:27,280 --> 00:47:28,441
Isn't he autistic?

851
00:47:29,600 --> 00:47:33,605
Yeah. Yeah, he is.
But he's also very romantic.

852
00:47:33,720 --> 00:47:36,451
Damn, superfreak.
I like!

853
00:47:37,400 --> 00:47:39,004
Okay, let's make a plan.
Yeah.

854
00:47:39,360 --> 00:47:41,442
We need to get Billy's machete.

855
00:47:41,520 --> 00:47:42,567
The one he's holding?

856
00:47:42,640 --> 00:47:44,324
Yeah. Duncan said
that's the only way to kill him.

857
00:47:44,480 --> 00:47:45,527
Everything else
just slows him down.

858
00:47:45,680 --> 00:47:47,330
So, we're supposed to
just pry it from his hands?

859
00:47:47,480 --> 00:47:50,450
Well, we don't really have
any other options. Okay?

860
00:47:50,600 --> 00:47:52,762
Look, we just have to get
his machete into Max's hands

861
00:47:52,840 --> 00:47:54,365
so she can chop his head off,
end the movie,

862
00:47:54,440 --> 00:47:56,124
and we can all go home.

863
00:47:57,880 --> 00:48:00,486
No. No way!
I can't do this.

864
00:48:00,680 --> 00:48:02,569
See? She's even saying
that she can't do it.

865
00:48:02,640 --> 00:48:05,246
Vicki! Enough! Jesus!
Can you just shut up for a second?

866
00:48:05,360 --> 00:48:07,360
God! I can't believe
I put up with you for so long.

867
00:48:08,840 --> 00:48:10,763
Max, you got this.
No.

868
00:48:11,240 --> 00:48:13,720
Max. You can do this.

869
00:48:14,120 --> 00:48:15,406
If it wasn't for you,
we'd all be dead

870
00:48:15,480 --> 00:48:16,845
burning in the theater
right now.

871
00:48:16,920 --> 00:48:18,285
Yeah, and look where I got us.

872
00:48:20,400 --> 00:48:22,846
I can do it. I can
be the final girl.

873
00:48:22,960 --> 00:48:23,961
I'm a virgin, too.

874
00:48:24,080 --> 00:48:25,844
I didn't sleep with Kurt.

875
00:48:26,000 --> 00:48:28,082
So, now I guess I'll
be able to save myself

876
00:48:28,160 --> 00:48:29,366
for George Michael after all.

877
00:48:29,480 --> 00:48:30,970
I wouldn't hold
your breath, honey.

878
00:48:31,040 --> 00:48:32,485
Why?

879
00:48:33,400 --> 00:48:36,165
It doesn't matter. Nancy,
you can't be the final girl.

880
00:48:36,280 --> 00:48:38,328
It's not in your DNA,
or whatever.

881
00:48:38,400 --> 00:48:40,243
You're the shy girl with the
clipboard and the guitar.

882
00:48:40,320 --> 00:48:41,480
You get laid
and then you die.

883
00:48:41,520 --> 00:48:43,010
You're just part
of the body count.

884
00:48:43,080 --> 00:48:44,127
No offense.

885
00:48:49,440 --> 00:48:51,090
That came out wrong.

886
00:48:53,120 --> 00:48:55,168
Thanks a lot.
Max.

887
00:48:56,520 --> 00:48:58,204
I was just trying to help.

888
00:49:08,360 --> 00:49:09,361
Nancy?

889
00:49:14,920 --> 00:49:16,763
Am I really gonna die?

890
00:49:20,880 --> 00:49:21,961
Yeah.

891
00:49:22,480 --> 00:49:25,609
So, I guess I never grow up,

892
00:49:27,240 --> 00:49:29,607
or fall in love or have kids.

893
00:49:30,880 --> 00:49:34,327
I had this dream that
when I graduated college,

894
00:49:34,400 --> 00:49:36,801
I would meet a guy.

895
00:49:37,720 --> 00:49:40,087
And we'd have
a baby. A girl.

896
00:49:40,320 --> 00:49:44,723
And if she ever needed me,
I would do anything for her.

897
00:49:44,800 --> 00:49:45,801
Anything.

898
00:49:49,600 --> 00:49:52,410
I would've made
a really great mom.

899
00:49:55,000 --> 00:49:56,490
The best.

900
00:50:00,840 --> 00:50:02,808
God, this totally sucks!

901
00:50:02,880 --> 00:50:04,370
It's so bogus!

902
00:50:04,560 --> 00:50:06,528
I should have known
something was up with this place.

903
00:50:06,600 --> 00:50:07,681
I mean, think about it.

904
00:50:07,760 --> 00:50:10,445
What the hell kind of
summer camp has waterbeds?

905
00:50:20,280 --> 00:50:22,487
What do we do now?

906
00:50:27,440 --> 00:50:28,771
We fight.

907
00:50:29,960 --> 00:50:33,248
All right, guys.
No more junior varsity bullshit.

908
00:50:33,320 --> 00:50:35,527
We gotta lead with
a pro-style offense.

909
00:50:35,600 --> 00:50:37,125
Something Billy
won't see coming.

910
00:50:37,200 --> 00:50:39,089
We have to use everything
we have at our disposal.

911
00:50:39,160 --> 00:50:41,003
I was thinking the best
opportunity for an ambush

912
00:50:41,080 --> 00:50:43,401
would be the slumber party,
with a few tweaks.

913
00:50:43,480 --> 00:50:44,800
That means it's
just a question of

914
00:50:44,840 --> 00:50:46,251
luring him here at
just the right time.

915
00:50:46,320 --> 00:50:47,440
How are we going to do that?

916
00:50:47,480 --> 00:50:48,720
I think I have an idea.

917
00:50:50,760 --> 00:50:52,171
"Operation Booby Trap?"

918
00:50:52,240 --> 00:50:55,210
Yup. And Tina's
going to be the bait.

919
00:51:44,520 --> 00:51:45,806
Vicki, are you crying?

920
00:51:46,880 --> 00:51:48,120
I'm fine.

921
00:51:53,360 --> 00:51:56,250
Gertie, I'm sorry for
that time in junior high

922
00:51:56,320 --> 00:51:58,766
when I told everyone to start
calling you "Ba-chunk-adunk."

923
00:51:58,840 --> 00:52:01,241
And then I covered
your locker in bacon.

924
00:52:01,320 --> 00:52:03,482
That was so crappy.

925
00:52:03,560 --> 00:52:05,608
And I'm so sorry.

926
00:52:06,480 --> 00:52:07,925
I'm such a bad person.

927
00:52:08,000 --> 00:52:09,570
You're not. It's okay.

928
00:52:09,640 --> 00:52:11,165
If it makes you feel better,

929
00:52:11,240 --> 00:52:13,322
last summer, I'm the one
who spread the rumor

930
00:52:13,440 --> 00:52:14,646
that said you had
a weird disease

931
00:52:14,720 --> 00:52:16,085
where you're
always on your period.

932
00:52:17,000 --> 00:52:18,570
Wow. That's evil.

933
00:52:18,640 --> 00:52:20,005
Thank you.

934
00:52:22,480 --> 00:52:25,609
Hey, Max, if I'm
going to die tonight,

935
00:52:25,680 --> 00:52:27,125
then I don't want to die
without telling you

936
00:52:27,200 --> 00:52:33,048
that when your mom died,
you shut down completely.

937
00:52:33,960 --> 00:52:36,008
And just cut me
out of your life.

938
00:52:37,240 --> 00:52:40,084
And I missed you.
I missed our friendship.

939
00:52:40,920 --> 00:52:43,002
And then you two
became best friends

940
00:52:43,080 --> 00:52:45,321
and, I don't know,
I got jealous.

941
00:52:45,400 --> 00:52:47,687
And so, I did
some really bad things

942
00:52:47,760 --> 00:52:49,330
and I'm not proud of them.

943
00:52:49,400 --> 00:52:52,051
Vicki.
No, no, no, just let me finish, okay.

944
00:52:52,120 --> 00:52:54,441
I know that I've become a...

945
00:52:54,520 --> 00:52:55,851
A bitch?

946
00:52:55,920 --> 00:52:57,285
Yes, thank you.

947
00:52:57,400 --> 00:53:01,610
But the thing is, Max,
I've always looked up to you

948
00:53:01,920 --> 00:53:04,241
because you were
always the brave one.

949
00:53:05,520 --> 00:53:07,284
So, be brave again.

950
00:53:09,120 --> 00:53:10,770
Vicki, you don't have to die.

951
00:53:12,680 --> 00:53:14,728
I'm the mean girl in
the '80s horror movie.

952
00:53:14,800 --> 00:53:17,451
And we're past the mid-point,
so, you know,

953
00:53:19,600 --> 00:53:21,921
I'd say that I've
overstayed my welcome.

954
00:53:34,120 --> 00:53:35,645
Ooh!

955
00:53:36,400 --> 00:53:39,643
Oh, no, no, no!
Uh-uh. No. No, Tina.

956
00:53:39,720 --> 00:53:42,451
Tina, hey. Yeah. No.

957
00:53:42,520 --> 00:53:45,967
You know not to take off
any of your clothes until we say so, right?

958
00:53:46,440 --> 00:53:48,761
Yeah? No sex.

959
00:53:49,360 --> 00:53:51,203
How could anyone think about sex

960
00:53:51,280 --> 00:53:53,009
when I have this rad gadget?

961
00:53:53,640 --> 00:53:54,721
What is this thing, anyway?

962
00:53:54,800 --> 00:53:55,961
It's a phone.

963
00:53:59,040 --> 00:54:01,441
Yeah. Please,
I'm not that gullible.

964
00:54:02,400 --> 00:54:05,449
Um, hello, operator? Yes,
I'm trying to make a call

965
00:54:05,520 --> 00:54:06,521
but I can't

966
00:54:06,600 --> 00:54:08,364
because my phone's
not plugged into anything.

967
00:54:10,160 --> 00:54:11,241
Oh, my God, kill me.

968
00:54:11,320 --> 00:54:13,402
Guys, it's almost time.
Let's get ready.

969
00:54:13,520 --> 00:54:14,681
Okay.

970
00:54:18,760 --> 00:54:19,921
How you holding up?

971
00:54:20,840 --> 00:54:23,366
Been better.
How about you?

972
00:54:26,200 --> 00:54:28,248
I'm really scared.

973
00:54:29,080 --> 00:54:30,127
Uh...

974
00:54:30,520 --> 00:54:32,124
Uh, are the arrows ready?

975
00:54:32,720 --> 00:54:35,291
Yeah, I'm on it.

976
00:54:44,480 --> 00:54:46,005
"Adderall."

977
00:54:53,680 --> 00:54:55,967
God, your parents must be
freaking out right now.

978
00:54:56,040 --> 00:54:57,804
You've been gone for hours.

979
00:54:57,880 --> 00:55:00,247
They must be
so worried about you.

980
00:55:00,480 --> 00:55:01,481
Not really.

981
00:55:01,640 --> 00:55:04,883
I never knew my dad.
And my mom's away.

982
00:55:07,800 --> 00:55:09,131
What's she like?

983
00:55:10,000 --> 00:55:14,927
She, uh... She was so
beautiful and funny.

984
00:55:17,440 --> 00:55:19,283
She never knew
how awesome she was.

985
00:55:20,160 --> 00:55:21,446
How'd she die?

986
00:55:22,400 --> 00:55:24,323
I never said she died.
You said "was."

987
00:55:24,400 --> 00:55:26,607
So, I just figured.

988
00:55:27,200 --> 00:55:29,123
It's okay. You don't
have to tell me.

989
00:55:30,440 --> 00:55:33,284
Here, I want you to have this.

990
00:55:37,200 --> 00:55:40,682
It's a friendship bracelet.
So, you don't forget me.

991
00:55:41,800 --> 00:55:44,246
How could I ever forget you?

992
00:55:45,960 --> 00:55:48,566
You know,
if this all works out,

993
00:55:48,640 --> 00:55:50,369
I'm really gonna miss you.

994
00:55:50,440 --> 00:55:51,930
When you go home, I mean.

995
00:55:53,120 --> 00:55:55,521
Oh, God, I sound totally molded.

996
00:55:55,600 --> 00:55:57,602
I know we just met,
it's silly for me to say that.

997
00:55:57,760 --> 00:56:00,081
It's just...
I guess it's like,

998
00:56:00,160 --> 00:56:02,003
who am I going to
talk to after you leave?

999
00:56:02,080 --> 00:56:04,128
You know? Tina?

1000
00:56:05,200 --> 00:56:06,611
She's not very smart.

1001
00:56:07,680 --> 00:56:10,331
Maybe you don't have to.
I don't?

1002
00:56:10,800 --> 00:56:12,370
I mean, I carpool
with her to camp,

1003
00:56:12,440 --> 00:56:13,726
it's kind of inevitable.

1004
00:56:13,800 --> 00:56:16,246
No, I mean, maybe you
don't have to stay here.

1005
00:56:16,840 --> 00:56:19,002
Look, I know in the movie,
you're supposed to die,

1006
00:56:19,200 --> 00:56:20,884
but that doesn't mean
you have to, right?

1007
00:56:21,880 --> 00:56:23,166
Right.

1008
00:56:23,240 --> 00:56:24,651
And if you don't die,

1009
00:56:24,760 --> 00:56:26,649
then that means
you'll be around at the end of the movie,

1010
00:56:26,720 --> 00:56:27,960
when we leave.

1011
00:56:28,360 --> 00:56:29,361
Right.

1012
00:56:29,480 --> 00:56:33,644
So, then who's to say
you can't just come home with me?

1013
00:56:34,720 --> 00:56:35,960
Oh, my God.

1014
00:56:37,680 --> 00:56:39,284
Where's home?
The Valley.

1015
00:56:40,440 --> 00:56:41,521
The Valley.

1016
00:56:43,160 --> 00:56:44,440
I don't know, Max, I don't know.

1017
00:56:44,480 --> 00:56:47,006
You're just... You're kind of
blowing my mind right now.

1018
00:56:47,080 --> 00:56:48,650
No, think about it!

1019
00:56:49,520 --> 00:56:51,409
If you come home with me,

1020
00:56:51,480 --> 00:56:53,164
you can be whoever you want.

1021
00:56:53,240 --> 00:56:54,844
You don't have to be
the shy girl

1022
00:56:54,920 --> 00:56:56,445
with the clipboard
and the guitar.

1023
00:56:56,520 --> 00:56:58,488
You could be...
I could, like, go to college.

1024
00:56:58,600 --> 00:57:00,409
And drive a convertible.
Right. Totally!

1025
00:57:00,520 --> 00:57:01,851
An go shopping at the mall.

1026
00:57:02,200 --> 00:57:03,201
Actually, people
don't really shop

1027
00:57:03,280 --> 00:57:04,770
at malls anymore.
They shop online.

1028
00:57:04,880 --> 00:57:05,881
What's online?

1029
00:57:06,600 --> 00:57:08,841
Never mind, I made that up.
Just keep going!

1030
00:57:08,920 --> 00:57:12,481
Okay! I wanna shop online
and I wanna start over.

1031
00:57:12,560 --> 00:57:15,803
You know, I could be
different in the Valley.

1032
00:57:28,760 --> 00:57:30,603
What if I don't make it, Max?

1033
00:57:33,520 --> 00:57:35,204
This time, you will.

1034
00:57:35,920 --> 00:57:37,001
Hey, guys.

1035
00:57:39,120 --> 00:57:41,282
Hi. So sorry to interrupt,

1036
00:57:41,360 --> 00:57:43,966
but, um, we have
a bit of a situation.

1037
00:57:49,160 --> 00:57:52,369
Tina, are you...
I'm great! I'm amazing!

1038
00:57:52,440 --> 00:57:54,169
She ate your Adderall?

1039
00:57:54,280 --> 00:57:56,442
Tina, hey. Eyes here.

1040
00:57:56,720 --> 00:57:57,721
Hmm.

1041
00:57:58,400 --> 00:57:59,447
Yes.

1042
00:57:59,520 --> 00:58:02,171
How many of my, um,
Tic Tacs did you have?

1043
00:58:02,400 --> 00:58:05,688
They're not Tic Tacs!
And I had, um, three.

1044
00:58:06,040 --> 00:58:08,042
No, 10 or 30!

1045
00:58:08,120 --> 00:58:10,327
It was 30!
Maybe we need to re-strategize.

1046
00:58:10,400 --> 00:58:13,290
No, no, no.
I got this. I got this.

1047
00:58:13,560 --> 00:58:14,721
Tina.

1048
00:58:14,800 --> 00:58:15,847
Are you sure you can...

1049
00:58:15,920 --> 00:58:18,730
Look, man, I got
this, all right?

1050
00:58:18,920 --> 00:58:22,402
I got this!
I so got this.

1051
00:58:23,360 --> 00:58:24,441
She'll be fine.

1052
00:58:24,560 --> 00:58:26,244
I really think
she's more focused now.

1053
00:58:26,360 --> 00:58:28,044
Right, Tina?
Yes!

1054
00:58:31,800 --> 00:58:34,121
Guys. Let's start.

1055
00:58:39,160 --> 00:58:42,767
All right, guys.
This is it. Sound off. Ready.

1056
00:58:43,840 --> 00:58:45,365
Ready! Ready! Ready!

1057
00:58:45,720 --> 00:58:46,767
Totem pole?

1058
00:58:46,840 --> 00:58:47,841
Ready!

1059
00:58:47,960 --> 00:58:49,883
Stereo?
Ready.

1060
00:58:49,960 --> 00:58:51,530
- Arrows?
- Ready!

1061
00:58:54,040 --> 00:58:57,408
All right then, Nancy,
unleash the beast.

1062
00:59:07,080 --> 00:59:08,491
<i>♪ Wow!</i>

1063
00:59:12,280 --> 00:59:16,251
<i>♪ Well, swinging on the front porch,
swinging on the lawn</i>

1064
00:59:16,320 --> 00:59:18,561
<i>♪ Swinging where we want
'cause there ain't nobody home</i>

1065
00:59:18,640 --> 00:59:21,405
<i>♪ Swingin' to the left
and swingin' to the right</i>

1066
00:59:21,480 --> 00:59:23,926
<i>♪ if I think about baseball
I'll swing all night</i>

1067
00:59:24,000 --> 00:59:25,206
<i>♪ Yeah</i>

1068
00:59:26,160 --> 00:59:27,810
<i>♪ Yeah, yeah</i>

1069
00:59:28,640 --> 00:59:29,640
<i>♪ Huh!</i>

1070
00:59:29,680 --> 00:59:32,081
<i>♪ Swingin in the living room,
swingin' in the kitchen</i>

1071
00:59:32,160 --> 00:59:34,811
<i>♪ Most folks don't 'cause
they're too busy bitchin'</i>

1072
00:59:34,880 --> 00:59:37,121
<i>♪ Swingin' in there 'cause
she wanted me to feed her</i>

1073
00:59:37,200 --> 00:59:40,329
<i>♪ So I mixed up the batter
a' And she licked the beater</i>

1074
00:59:40,400 --> 00:59:43,006
<i>♪ I scream, you scream,
we all scream for her</i>

1075
00:59:43,080 --> 00:59:45,845
<i>♪ Don't even try 'cause
you can't ignore her</i>

1076
00:59:45,920 --> 00:59:48,241
<i>♪ She's my cherry pie</i>

1077
00:59:48,320 --> 00:59:51,051
<i>♪ Cool drink of water
Such a sweet surprise</i>

1078
00:59:51,120 --> 00:59:53,600
<i>♪ Tastes so good
make a grown man cry</i>

1079
00:59:53,680 --> 00:59:56,126
<i>♪ Sweet cherry pie</i>

1080
00:59:56,320 --> 00:59:59,290
<i>♪ She's my cherry pie ♪</i>

1081
01:00:03,880 --> 01:00:05,962
Oh, my God.
Oh, my God, he's coming.
He's coming!

1082
01:00:06,080 --> 01:00:08,401
He's coming!
Not yet. Wait to move!

1083
01:00:08,480 --> 01:00:10,244
No, no! He's so close!

1084
01:00:13,800 --> 01:00:15,165
Tina!

1085
01:00:16,880 --> 01:00:18,291
Cut the rope!

1086
01:00:28,880 --> 01:00:30,564
Gertie.
Yeah?

1087
01:00:31,640 --> 01:00:32,641
I love you.

1088
01:00:33,640 --> 01:00:34,721
Oh, screw it.

1089
01:01:01,400 --> 01:01:04,768
Everybody in the kitchen!
Now! Now! Go now!

1090
01:01:09,760 --> 01:01:12,286
It's okay.
It's gonna be fine.

1091
01:01:15,160 --> 01:01:17,208
Gertie, come on.
Hurry up!

1092
01:01:22,080 --> 01:01:23,411
Go!

1093
01:01:41,280 --> 01:01:42,964
Go, go, go! Go!

1094
01:01:45,400 --> 01:01:46,561
Come on, Nancy. Come on.

1095
01:01:55,120 --> 01:01:56,121
Shit!

1096
01:01:56,880 --> 01:01:57,961
It's stuck!

1097
01:02:05,680 --> 01:02:07,330
We're stuck!
We're stuck!

1098
01:02:08,600 --> 01:02:10,409
No!

1099
01:02:21,280 --> 01:02:22,964
Max, it's okay.

1100
01:02:24,640 --> 01:02:25,721
Just go.

1101
01:02:30,960 --> 01:02:32,325
Go.

1102
01:03:03,600 --> 01:03:09,448
What's happening?

1103
01:03:11,600 --> 01:03:16,049
It's slow motion.

1104
01:04:16,920 --> 01:04:20,845
Jump!

1105
01:04:34,480 --> 01:04:36,960
- Flashback! Flashback! Flashback!
- What?

1106
01:04:37,040 --> 01:04:38,690
Just say the words!
What words?

1107
01:04:38,760 --> 01:04:40,920
Billy Murphy was a kid
who went to camp here years ago.

1108
01:04:40,960 --> 01:04:42,644
Tell me the
story again! Hurry!

1109
01:04:43,320 --> 01:04:44,890
He was always picked on
for being different, ugly.

1110
01:04:44,960 --> 01:04:46,291
Keep going.
Don't stop!

1111
01:04:46,440 --> 01:04:47,930
And then one summer,
the hottest one on record,

1112
01:04:48,000 --> 01:04:50,287
the kids decided to play
a little prank on him.

1113
01:04:57,440 --> 01:04:58,680
Where the hell are we?

1114
01:04:58,760 --> 01:05:00,171
A flashback!
A flashback!

1115
01:05:01,440 --> 01:05:03,044
Does that mean we're safe?

1116
01:05:10,240 --> 01:05:12,447
<i>♪ Lollipop, lollipop
Oh, lolli, lolli, lolli</i>

1117
01:05:12,600 --> 01:05:16,207
<i>♪ Lollipop, lollipop
Oh, lolli, lolli, lolli ♪</i>

1118
01:05:16,280 --> 01:05:18,282
Holy crap, this thing is heavy.

1119
01:05:20,920 --> 01:05:22,331
Guys, where's Billy?

1120
01:05:22,720 --> 01:05:24,165
<i>Billy locked
himself in the outhouse,</i>

1121
01:05:24,240 --> 01:05:26,242
<i>thinking he'd be safe,
but he was wrong.</i>

1122
01:05:26,320 --> 01:05:27,845
Oh, my God, that's me!

1123
01:05:28,000 --> 01:05:29,047
Ugh.

1124
01:05:29,120 --> 01:05:31,407
That's what I sound like?

1125
01:05:37,480 --> 01:05:39,209
- Look at him run!
- Wait.

1126
01:05:39,360 --> 01:05:40,850
Where's Billy going?

1127
01:05:41,520 --> 01:05:42,521
Wait.

1128
01:05:57,560 --> 01:05:59,164
I don't know that part of camp.

1129
01:05:59,240 --> 01:06:00,810
I've never seen
that cabin before.

1130
01:06:06,120 --> 01:06:08,282
Shit! End the flashback! End it!

1131
01:06:08,400 --> 01:06:09,765
Just skip to the end!

1132
01:06:09,840 --> 01:06:11,490
Legend has it Billy
still lives in these woods

1133
01:06:11,560 --> 01:06:13,449
waiting for new counselors
to cross his path,

1134
01:06:13,520 --> 01:06:15,409
waiting to get
revenge again and again.

1135
01:06:18,480 --> 01:06:19,891
Did we leave him there?

1136
01:06:19,960 --> 01:06:22,691
I wouldn't count on it
Let's move.

1137
01:06:37,600 --> 01:06:38,806
Oh, my God!
Are you okay?

1138
01:06:39,200 --> 01:06:40,201
Yeah, I'm fine.

1139
01:06:40,280 --> 01:06:41,486
Max!

1140
01:06:41,720 --> 01:06:44,041
Max!
No!

1141
01:06:44,280 --> 01:06:45,611
Let me go! Let me go!

1142
01:06:45,680 --> 01:06:47,364
She's gone, Max.
No! She's alive! She's...

1143
01:06:47,480 --> 01:06:49,244
Max, she's gone.

1144
01:06:50,840 --> 01:06:52,171
No. She's not.

1145
01:06:57,640 --> 01:06:58,641
Come on.

1146
01:07:23,760 --> 01:07:26,161
Keep pressure on it.
Don't move, I'll be back.

1147
01:07:26,640 --> 01:07:28,130
Max, she's dead.

1148
01:07:30,520 --> 01:07:32,761
She's supposed to die,
just like the rest of them.

1149
01:07:32,880 --> 01:07:34,723
No, she's lived
this far into the movie,

1150
01:07:34,800 --> 01:07:36,131
longer than she ever has before.

1151
01:07:36,200 --> 01:07:37,645
She's not real.

1152
01:07:38,960 --> 01:07:40,041
None of this is real.

1153
01:07:40,160 --> 01:07:41,161
Yes, she is!

1154
01:07:41,240 --> 01:07:42,446
Max, wait.

1155
01:07:46,320 --> 01:07:48,482
I don't wanna die alone.

1156
01:07:53,680 --> 01:07:56,843
Listen to me.
You're not gonna die.

1157
01:07:57,600 --> 01:07:59,443
Nobody else is dying tonight.

1158
01:08:02,920 --> 01:08:04,684
I know exactly where
he's taken her.

1159
01:09:36,880 --> 01:09:38,211
Hey, Nancy.

1160
01:09:41,680 --> 01:09:43,808
Max? Max!

1161
01:09:54,360 --> 01:09:55,964
He was right there.

1162
01:10:32,480 --> 01:10:33,481
No!

1163
01:10:45,160 --> 01:10:46,161
Get up!

1164
01:10:48,080 --> 01:10:50,162
Come on, let's get out of here.

1165
01:10:51,040 --> 01:10:52,644
Come on, come on.

1166
01:11:04,680 --> 01:11:06,011
Chris.

1167
01:11:06,080 --> 01:11:07,650
Max, over here.

1168
01:11:08,720 --> 01:11:10,324
Sit down.

1169
01:11:16,440 --> 01:11:17,521
Am I dying?

1170
01:11:17,600 --> 01:11:20,570
No. I know how to fix it.

1171
01:11:21,440 --> 01:11:23,124
You're not the
final girl yet, Max.

1172
01:11:23,200 --> 01:11:25,521
Because of me.
I'm still alive.

1173
01:11:26,360 --> 01:11:27,566
No.
Yes.

1174
01:11:27,640 --> 01:11:31,008
No! I'm already dying,
so you could survive!

1175
01:11:31,280 --> 01:11:33,123
You can be the final girl.

1176
01:11:33,200 --> 01:11:35,202
No, Max. No.

1177
01:11:35,960 --> 01:11:38,122
That's not who
I'm supposed to be, remember?

1178
01:11:38,680 --> 01:11:41,047
I'm just the shy girl
with the clipboard and the guitar.

1179
01:11:41,640 --> 01:11:43,608
Yeah, but you wanted
to change that.

1180
01:11:44,520 --> 01:11:46,602
Honey, let me do this.

1181
01:11:47,080 --> 01:11:48,491
No.

1182
01:11:48,800 --> 01:11:52,486
Max, I'm not afraid.

1183
01:11:55,720 --> 01:11:57,484
I wanted to save you.

1184
01:11:58,440 --> 01:12:01,842
Oh, Max, you did.

1185
01:12:02,960 --> 01:12:04,928
You did, Max.

1186
01:12:05,000 --> 01:12:08,402
Just by letting me
be here with you.

1187
01:12:09,400 --> 01:12:13,405
I've never felt more real
or more alive ever before.

1188
01:12:13,480 --> 01:12:14,606
No.

1189
01:12:14,800 --> 01:12:18,122
No, Mom, you belong
at home, with me.

1190
01:12:19,200 --> 01:12:23,250
Look, your name is Amanda Cartwright,
and you live in Encino,

1191
01:12:23,320 --> 01:12:26,688
and you love
<i>Bette Davis Eyes</i> and Mel's Diner.

1192
01:12:26,760 --> 01:12:30,401
And you wanted to be
the biggest movie star,

1193
01:12:30,480 --> 01:12:32,323
more than anything in the world.

1194
01:12:35,240 --> 01:12:36,800
And you had a daughter.

1195
01:12:40,040 --> 01:12:41,530
You have a daughter.

1196
01:12:46,200 --> 01:12:48,202
I'm not going back without you.

1197
01:12:51,800 --> 01:12:53,802
I don't wanna lose you again.

1198
01:12:54,720 --> 01:12:55,960
Max.

1199
01:12:57,640 --> 01:13:01,804
I'm not lost.
I'm right here, all right?

1200
01:13:02,280 --> 01:13:04,681
You'll always know
where to find me, okay?

1201
01:13:06,000 --> 01:13:07,764
But you have to let me go.

1202
01:13:09,080 --> 01:13:10,730
You have to let me go.

1203
01:13:34,160 --> 01:13:35,571
Bye, Max.

1204
01:13:45,080 --> 01:13:46,491
I love you.

1205
01:13:50,640 --> 01:13:52,688
That's what
I never got to tell her.

1206
01:13:54,000 --> 01:13:55,365
Don't worry.

1207
01:13:56,400 --> 01:13:59,609
Wherever she is, she knows.

1208
01:14:00,920 --> 01:14:02,843
You were right about
one thing, you know?

1209
01:14:03,680 --> 01:14:04,841
What?

1210
01:14:05,720 --> 01:14:07,484
I'm a movie star.

1211
01:14:30,040 --> 01:14:32,281
<i>♪ Her hair is Harlowe gold</i>

1212
01:14:34,320 --> 01:14:36,926
<i>♪ Her lips sweet surprise</i>

1213
01:14:38,240 --> 01:14:40,925
<i>♪ Her hands are never cold</i>

1214
01:14:42,080 --> 01:14:44,606
<i>♪ She's got Bette Davis eyes</i>

1215
01:14:44,680 --> 01:14:46,887
<i>♪ She'll turn her music on you</i>

1216
01:14:48,720 --> 01:14:51,087
<i>♪ You won't
have to think twice</i>

1217
01:14:52,800 --> 01:14:55,121
<i>♪ She's pure as New York snow</i>

1218
01:14:56,480 --> 01:14:59,370
<i>♪ She got Bette Davis eyes</i>

1219
01:15:02,200 --> 01:15:03,884
<i>♪ And she'll tease you</i>

1220
01:15:04,200 --> 01:15:05,884
<i>♪ She'll unease you</i>

1221
01:15:06,280 --> 01:15:09,841
<i>♪ All the better
just to please you</i>

1222
01:15:10,320 --> 01:15:13,927
<i>♪ She's precocious
and she knows just</i>

1223
01:15:14,160 --> 01:15:18,404
<i>♪ What it takes
to make a pro blush</i>

1224
01:15:18,520 --> 01:15:22,730
<i>♪ She got Greta Garbo
stand off sighs</i>

1225
01:15:22,800 --> 01:15:26,725
<i>♪ She's got Bette Davis eyes</i>

1226
01:15:32,200 --> 01:15:34,806
<i>♪ She'll let you
take her home</i>

1227
01:15:36,280 --> 01:15:38,282
<i>♪ It whets her appetite</i>

1228
01:15:40,320 --> 01:15:43,085
<i>♪ She'll lay you
on her throne</i>

1229
01:15:44,120 --> 01:15:46,726
<i>♪ She got Bette Davis eyes</i>

1230
01:15:46,800 --> 01:15:49,485
<i>♪ She'll take
a tumble on you</i>

1231
01:15:50,640 --> 01:15:53,041
<i>♪ Roll you like
you were dice</i>

1232
01:15:54,760 --> 01:15:57,127
<i>♪ Until you come out blue</i>

1233
01:15:58,360 --> 01:16:01,170
<i>♪ She's got Bette Davis eyes ♪</i>

1234
01:16:49,920 --> 01:16:51,968
You just fucked
with the wrong virgin.

1235
01:18:58,120 --> 01:18:59,281
It's over.

1236
01:19:31,800 --> 01:19:32,961
What is happening?

1237
01:19:33,080 --> 01:19:34,206
I don't know.

1238
01:19:41,600 --> 01:19:42,886
Hold on tight!

1239
01:20:20,360 --> 01:20:22,601
This food is so disgusting.

1240
01:20:23,080 --> 01:20:24,320
Speak for yourself, girl.

1241
01:20:24,400 --> 01:20:26,084
This tapioca pudding
is incredible!

1242
01:20:26,560 --> 01:20:29,723
You've had like 15 of
those in the last 30 minutes.

1243
01:20:29,880 --> 01:20:31,450
I counted them, 15!

1244
01:20:31,880 --> 01:20:34,281
Little known fact,
I can't stand tapioca pudding.

1245
01:20:34,440 --> 01:20:35,805
Then why
did you eat 30 of them?

1246
01:20:35,880 --> 01:20:37,689
Let me eat my
feelings in peace.

1247
01:20:38,520 --> 01:20:39,851
Max!
Hey!

1248
01:20:40,760 --> 01:20:41,886
You're awake!

1249
01:20:49,840 --> 01:20:52,047
When you get a second,
try the pudding.

1250
01:20:54,240 --> 01:20:55,685
Wait, where are we?

1251
01:20:55,760 --> 01:20:57,922
We're home.

1252
01:21:01,280 --> 01:21:02,566
But was it a dream or...

1253
01:21:02,640 --> 01:21:04,210
No, not at all!

1254
01:21:04,280 --> 01:21:05,805
Remember?
Ugh.

1255
01:21:06,200 --> 01:21:08,362
That is a machete wound,

1256
01:21:08,440 --> 01:21:10,807
poorly stitched
by an incompetent doctor.

1257
01:21:10,880 --> 01:21:12,609
I'm actually more
concerned about tetanus

1258
01:21:12,720 --> 01:21:14,529
because the machete
had a bit of rust on it,

1259
01:21:14,640 --> 01:21:17,564
and I did not see
the doctor give me a shot.

1260
01:21:17,680 --> 01:21:21,401
Duncan, I love you
and I'm so happy you survived,

1261
01:21:21,520 --> 01:21:23,204
- but do you hear yourself when you say things?
- God.

1262
01:21:23,280 --> 01:21:24,566
Do you hear the words
in your head first?

1263
01:21:24,640 --> 01:21:25,801
And she's back.

1264
01:21:26,440 --> 01:21:27,851
I feel like
the jock at high school

1265
01:21:27,920 --> 01:21:29,649
just gave me his promise ring.

1266
01:21:51,040 --> 01:21:53,281
Doctor, stop.
Oh, come on.

1267
01:21:54,080 --> 01:21:55,525
My shift's almost over.

1268
01:21:55,600 --> 01:21:57,204
I have to do my rounds.

1269
01:21:57,320 --> 01:21:59,687
And what beautiful
rounds they are.

1270
01:22:00,480 --> 01:22:02,323
Oh, my God.
Of course.

1271
01:22:06,240 --> 01:22:08,368
Of course, what?

1272
01:22:16,400 --> 01:22:17,481
The sequel!

1273
01:22:21,960 --> 01:22:22,960
This is so great!

1274
01:22:23,040 --> 01:22:24,880
The sequel is
so much cooler than the original.

1275
01:22:32,560 --> 01:22:33,561
Mark.

1276
01:22:34,960 --> 01:22:36,962
Let me just wipe my sweat off
with this tampon.

1277
01:22:37,040 --> 01:22:39,202
Blooper!

1278
01:22:41,720 --> 01:22:44,724
How about you go suck a turd?

1279
01:22:45,200 --> 01:22:47,521
That's perfect,
so perfectly bad.

1280
01:22:47,840 --> 01:22:52,209
Like that's <i>Bad.</i>
Michael Jackson <i>Bad?</i>
That guy's talented.

1281
01:22:52,320 --> 01:22:53,810
King of Pop.
Yeah.

1282
01:22:56,600 --> 01:22:58,682
Wasn't expecting that.

1283
01:23:07,000 --> 01:23:08,445
No!
Shit.

1284
01:23:08,520 --> 01:23:09,640
It's broken!

1285
01:23:12,080 --> 01:23:15,766
Oh, God, you killed Duncan.
You smell great, by the way.

1286
01:23:16,280 --> 01:23:17,725
Oh, you killed him!

1287
01:23:17,800 --> 01:23:19,211
I promise I won't tell the cops

1288
01:23:19,280 --> 01:23:20,441
if we just go have sex!

1289
01:23:20,840 --> 01:23:22,683
Right now! Now!

1290
01:23:28,320 --> 01:23:29,446
I'm not even scared.

1291
01:23:33,560 --> 01:23:34,971
Oh, God, Jesus.

1292
01:23:35,920 --> 01:23:37,126
Oh.
Chris.

1293
01:23:37,240 --> 01:23:38,241
One more time!

1294
01:23:40,760 --> 01:23:42,285
I've only had sex one time

1295
01:23:42,360 --> 01:23:43,885
and it was with
my cousin Heather!

1296
01:23:43,960 --> 01:23:46,201
Honestly, that
wasn't your fault,

1297
01:23:46,280 --> 01:23:49,204
and I won't
tell the cops if we have sex.

1298
01:23:50,520 --> 01:23:51,726
Let's

1299
01:23:55,560 --> 01:23:58,450
Look, Chris, you and I
don't know each other well.

1300
01:23:58,520 --> 01:24:00,522
So, lose the familiarity.

1301
01:24:02,000 --> 01:24:03,525
What a rude little
girl you're being.

1302
01:24:05,440 --> 01:24:08,967
She's not like this at home.
She's just showing off.

1303
01:24:09,720 --> 01:24:11,722
You guys have to learn
how to not break.

1304
01:24:11,800 --> 01:24:14,167
<i>I'm scared.</i>

1305
01:24:14,400 --> 01:24:16,448
Oh, I get it, because
you've only had sex with one person

1306
01:24:16,520 --> 01:24:20,002
and I'm freaking
double-digits slayer over here.

1307
01:24:20,080 --> 01:24:21,605
You probably don't
even know this move.

1308
01:24:27,360 --> 01:24:28,920
I feel like I'm
walking out like Kramer.

1309
01:24:30,640 --> 01:24:31,641
Jerry.

1310
01:24:34,400 --> 01:24:37,244
Well, all my bones are broken
except for the one.

1311
01:24:37,880 --> 01:24:40,247
I'm actually
talking about this arm.

1312
01:24:40,320 --> 01:24:42,527
My penis is severely injured.

1313
01:24:42,600 --> 01:24:44,443
It's like split in
three different parts.

1314
01:24:53,200 --> 01:24:54,850
Okay, okay, people are dying.

1315
01:24:54,880 --> 01:24:56,689
Oh, my God!

1316
01:24:58,720 --> 01:25:00,404
It's not "Ew."

1317
01:25:00,480 --> 01:25:02,244
It's not "Ew."

1318
01:25:03,840 --> 01:25:05,604
Too sexy?
Was it too sexy?

1319
01:25:06,520 --> 01:25:07,965
<i>Impossible.</i>

1320
01:25:08,080 --> 01:25:09,570
Ever since I was a little boy,

1321
01:25:09,640 --> 01:25:12,086
I've dreamed of being
the final girl.

1322
01:25:15,280 --> 01:25:18,284
I want you to come study.

1323
01:25:22,360 --> 01:25:23,361
One more time.

1324
01:25:25,520 --> 01:25:29,684
Well, Vicki, you're a virgin.
No, you're not, you're a slut.

1325
01:25:32,240 --> 01:25:34,481
He had, like,
the weird mustache.

1326
01:25:38,360 --> 01:25:39,521
Yeah, right!

1327
01:25:39,600 --> 01:25:41,364
A phone that I can
put in my mouth?

1328
01:25:45,880 --> 01:25:47,882
Oh!

1329
01:25:49,600 --> 01:25:50,601
From the movie.

1330
01:25:51,040 --> 01:25:52,326
Oh, Jesus!

1331
01:25:56,400 --> 01:25:57,890
Ow!

1332
01:26:02,560 --> 01:26:04,403
All right, see you in there.

1333
01:26:12,720 --> 01:26:13,721
That's a cut!