1
00:02:49,439 --> 00:02:51,138
WELL, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN,
2
00:02:51,140 --> 00:02:53,306
THIS IS YOUR CAPTAIN,
RUSTY GRISWOLD.
3
00:02:53,308 --> 00:02:55,675
HOPE YOU'VE ENJOYED
YOUR 18-MINUTE FLIGHT
4
00:02:55,677 --> 00:02:57,143
FROM SOUTH BEND.
5
00:02:57,145 --> 00:02:58,444
WE'LL BE TOUCHING DOWN
6
00:02:58,446 --> 00:03:00,779
AT CHICAGO'S MIDWAY
VERY SHORTLY.
7
00:03:00,781 --> 00:03:02,947
WE'D LIKE TO THANK YOU
FOR FLYING WITH US TODAY
8
00:03:02,949 --> 00:03:05,015
BECAUSE AT ECONO AIR,
WE'RE WORKING HARD
9
00:03:05,017 --> 00:03:07,117
TO WIN BACK YOUR TRUST.
10
00:03:07,119 --> 00:03:09,486
HARRY, YOU MIND TAKIN' OVER
WHILE I HIT THE LAV?
11
00:03:09,488 --> 00:03:11,354
SURE THING, RUSTY.
12
00:03:11,356 --> 00:03:12,754
THANK YOU VERY MUCH.
13
00:03:15,324 --> 00:03:16,590
OH, AND RUSTY.
14
00:03:16,592 --> 00:03:18,525
MM-HMM.
I WANNA THANK YOU
15
00:03:18,527 --> 00:03:21,494
FOR GOIN' TO BAT FOR ME
LAST WEEK.
16
00:03:21,496 --> 00:03:23,329
I WAS HAPPY TO DO IT.
17
00:03:23,331 --> 00:03:24,997
YOU KNOW, JUST 'CAUSE CORPORATE
SAYS YOU'RE TOO OLD TO FLY,
18
00:03:24,999 --> 00:03:26,665
IT DOESN'T MAKE IT TRUE.
19
00:03:26,667 --> 00:03:28,833
IF ANYTHING, YOU'RE MORE
QUALIFIED THAN US YOUNGER GUYS.
20
00:03:28,835 --> 00:03:30,434
MEANS A LOT TO ME.
21
00:03:30,436 --> 00:03:31,535
SURE THING.
22
00:03:31,537 --> 00:03:33,036
-OH, AND RUSTY.
-MM-HMM.
23
00:03:33,038 --> 00:03:37,973
I WANNA THANK YOU FOR GOIN'
TO BAT FOR ME LAST WEEK.
24
00:03:37,975 --> 00:03:39,407
YEAH.
25
00:03:40,475 --> 00:03:42,008
YOU BET.
26
00:03:43,177 --> 00:03:45,477
DAD, IS THAT THE PILOT?
27
00:03:45,479 --> 00:03:46,811
IT SURE IS.
28
00:03:46,813 --> 00:03:48,712
HE JUST CAME
FROM THE COCKPIT.
29
00:03:48,714 --> 00:03:51,014
WHOA!
30
00:03:52,883 --> 00:03:55,117
HEY THERE, LITTLE GUY.
HI!
31
00:03:55,119 --> 00:03:56,485
IS THIS YOUR FIRST TIME
ON A PLANE?
32
00:03:56,487 --> 00:03:58,286
WE WERE PLANNING
ON DRIVING,
33
00:03:58,288 --> 00:03:59,987
BUT TYLER HERE
HAS BEEN BEGGIN' US
34
00:03:59,989 --> 00:04:01,488
TO GO ON HIS FIRST
AIRPLANE.
35
00:04:01,490 --> 00:04:03,189
OH, IS THAT RIGHT?
UH-HUH.
36
00:04:03,191 --> 00:04:05,858
DO YOU THINK I CAN BE A PILOT
WHEN I GROW UP?
37
00:04:05,860 --> 00:04:07,960
YEAH, WELL,
I DON'T SEE WHY NOT.
38
00:04:07,962 --> 00:04:09,628
YOU JUST HAVE TO STUDY HARD
39
00:04:09,630 --> 00:04:11,496
AND LISTEN
TO YOUR PARENTS, ALL RIGHT?
40
00:04:11,498 --> 00:04:13,064
WHOA!
OH.
41
00:04:14,033 --> 00:04:15,065
O-OKAY.
42
00:04:15,067 --> 00:04:16,232
SORRY ABOUT THAT.
43
00:04:16,234 --> 00:04:17,233
LITTLE BIT OF ROUGH AIR.
44
00:04:17,235 --> 00:04:18,234
IT'S OKAY.
RIGHT?
45
00:04:18,236 --> 00:04:19,568
YEAH. YEAH.
46
00:04:19,570 --> 00:04:20,669
UH, DON'T, UH,
DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT.
47
00:04:22,139 --> 00:04:24,239
HEY. WE CALL THAT "TURBULENCE,"
ALL RIGHT?
48
00:04:24,241 --> 00:04:25,840
THAT'S WHEN THE PLANE --
49
00:04:25,842 --> 00:04:26,974
OH!
50
00:04:31,913 --> 00:04:33,746
OH, SO SORRY.
51
00:04:33,748 --> 00:04:36,381
OKAY. YOU FOLKS ENJOY
THE REST OF YOUR FLIGHT.
52
00:04:40,219 --> 00:04:42,053
LET ME GIVE YOU A HAND.
53
00:04:42,055 --> 00:04:45,523
CAN YOU PLEASE
STAY THE FUCK AWAY FROM US?!
54
00:04:49,393 --> 00:04:51,761
HARRY!
YOU TOOK US UP TO 60,000 FEET!
55
00:04:51,763 --> 00:04:53,028
WHAT'RE YOU DOING?!
56
00:04:53,030 --> 00:04:54,529
OH, RUSTY.
57
00:04:54,531 --> 00:04:58,098
I WANNA THANK YOU FOR GOIN'
TO BAT FOR ME LAST WEEK.
58
00:05:11,776 --> 00:05:13,342
OR THE TIME
THAT PAN CONTINENTAL
59
00:05:13,344 --> 00:05:15,744
PUT US UP
AT THE RITZ IN BARCELONA.
60
00:05:15,746 --> 00:05:18,113
YOU KNOW, I'LL TELL YA ONE THING
ABOUT THE SPANISH WOMEN --
61
00:05:18,115 --> 00:05:20,248
THEY, UH, THEY LOVE THEM
SOME AIRLINE PILOTS.
62
00:05:20,250 --> 00:05:21,782
THEY DO!
63
00:05:21,784 --> 00:05:23,550
I NEVER TOOK THE UNIFORM OFF
EXCEPT WHEN I DID.
64
00:05:35,094 --> 00:05:36,326
LADIES.
65
00:05:40,898 --> 00:05:42,797
ALL FULL. YOU'RE GONNA
HAVE TO WAIT FOR THE NEXT ONE.
66
00:05:42,799 --> 00:05:44,831
BUT I WAS...
YOU WERE WHAT?
67
00:05:46,867 --> 00:05:48,534
I'LL CATCH THE NEXT ONE.
68
00:05:48,536 --> 00:05:49,968
SEE YA AROUND, ECONO AIR.
69
00:06:07,451 --> 00:06:09,251
IT'S THE THIRD TIME
THIS MONTH.
I KNOW.
70
00:06:09,253 --> 00:06:10,652
YOU HAVE TO DO SOMETHING
ABOUT HIM.
I WILL.
71
00:06:10,654 --> 00:06:12,587
HE'S ALWAYS PICKING ON ME.
I KNOW HE IS.
72
00:06:12,589 --> 00:06:14,455
I'M SO SORRY, HONEY.
HEY.
73
00:06:14,457 --> 00:06:15,823
HEY.
HI.
74
00:06:15,825 --> 00:06:17,257
WHAT'S GOING ON HERE?
OH, YOU'LL SEE.
75
00:06:17,259 --> 00:06:19,559
KEVIN!
GET DOWN HERE, PLEASE.
76
00:06:19,561 --> 00:06:21,327
LOOK WHAT KEVIN DID
TO MY GUITAR.
77
00:06:21,329 --> 00:06:22,594
AW. NOT AGAIN.
78
00:06:22,596 --> 00:06:25,263
GOD.
YOU TOLD MOM AND DAD?
79
00:06:25,265 --> 00:06:26,731
YOU HAVE SUCH A VAGINA.
80
00:06:26,733 --> 00:06:28,632
OKAY, ENOUGH.
ENOUGH.
81
00:06:28,634 --> 00:06:29,766
NOW, YOUNG MAN,
WE TALKED ABOUT
82
00:06:29,768 --> 00:06:31,234
THE BULLYING
OF YOUR OLDER BROTHER.
83
00:06:31,236 --> 00:06:33,069
THAT'S RIGHT.
WE DON'T MAKE FUN OF SOMEONE
84
00:06:33,071 --> 00:06:34,303
JUST 'CAUSE THEY'RE A LITTLE
DIFFERENT FROM US.
85
00:06:34,305 --> 00:06:36,605
D--
I DON'T HAVE A VAGINA!
86
00:06:36,607 --> 00:06:38,607
I'M JUST SAYING
THAT EVEN IF YOU DID,
87
00:06:38,609 --> 00:06:41,142
IT WOULDN'T BE OKAY FOR KEVIN
TO TEASE YOU ABOUT YOUR VAGINA.
88
00:06:41,144 --> 00:06:43,611
NO! WHY ARE YOU MAKING IT SOUND
LIKE I HAVE A VAGINA?!
89
00:06:43,613 --> 00:06:46,480
I KNOW YOU DON'T HAVE A VAGINA.
I'M NOT DOING THAT.
90
00:06:46,482 --> 00:06:48,081
KEVIN, APOLOGIZE
TO YOUR BROTHER, PLEASE.
91
00:06:48,083 --> 00:06:50,316
FINE.
I'M SORRY.
92
00:06:50,318 --> 00:06:51,617
NOW, GO TO YOUR ROOM.
93
00:06:51,619 --> 00:06:54,319
I WAS IN MY FUCKING ROOM.
94
00:06:54,321 --> 00:06:56,287
WHOA. HEY, KEVIN?
GET BACK DOWN HERE.
95
00:06:59,523 --> 00:07:01,156
NOW LISTEN.
96
00:07:01,158 --> 00:07:03,625
THERE ARE A LOT OF BOYS
WHO ARE BORN WITH VAGINAS.
97
00:07:03,627 --> 00:07:05,026
IT'S VERY HARD FOR THEM.
98
00:07:05,028 --> 00:07:06,027
HONEY.
HMM?
99
00:07:06,029 --> 00:07:07,094
W-WHY?
100
00:07:07,096 --> 00:07:08,462
IT'S A TEACHABLE MOMENT,
HON.
101
00:07:08,464 --> 00:07:10,030
GENDER FLUIDITY, RIGHT?
102
00:07:10,032 --> 00:07:11,197
IT'S A VERY SERIOUS ISSUE.
103
00:07:11,199 --> 00:07:12,464
I'M NOT GENDER-FLUID.
104
00:07:12,466 --> 00:07:13,965
IT DOESN'T MATTER
IF YOU ARE.
105
00:07:13,967 --> 00:07:16,500
THE POINT IS,
YOUR MOM AND I WOULD LOVE YOU
106
00:07:16,502 --> 00:07:18,769
EVEN IF YOU WERE
COMPLETELY BLANK DOWN THERE.
107
00:07:18,771 --> 00:07:20,270
OKAY, THAT'S NOT --
THIS IS NOT THE POINT.
108
00:07:20,272 --> 00:07:22,471
THIS -- NONE -- KEVIN?
JUST GO TO YOUR ROOM.
109
00:07:24,574 --> 00:07:26,908
HEY, JAMES, DON'T GET
YOUR GENDER FLUID ON ME.
110
00:07:26,910 --> 00:07:28,276
- AWESOME.
- STOP!
111
00:07:28,278 --> 00:07:29,243
IT'S NOT A FLUID!
112
00:07:29,245 --> 00:07:30,644
AND WHAT ABOUT MY GUITAR?
113
00:07:30,646 --> 00:07:32,312
IT-- IT'S RUINED.
114
00:07:32,314 --> 00:07:34,247
LET ME HAVE A LOOK.
115
00:07:42,719 --> 00:07:44,252
HERE YA GO.
THAT'LL DO FOR NOW.
116
00:07:44,254 --> 00:07:45,720
NOW GET WASHED UP.
117
00:07:45,722 --> 00:07:47,154
THE PETERSONS ARE COMING OVER
FOR DINNER.
118
00:07:47,156 --> 00:07:48,221
MWAH.
119
00:07:48,223 --> 00:07:49,322
OKAY, BABY.
120
00:07:50,791 --> 00:07:52,158
OH, GOSH.
121
00:07:52,160 --> 00:07:54,293
I'LL GET YOU A NEW GUITAR.
OKAY?
122
00:07:54,295 --> 00:07:56,128
OH, USE THE VITAMIX.
JUST GRIND IT UP.
123
00:07:56,130 --> 00:07:57,629
THE DRY BIT.
YEAH, YEAH, YEAH,
YEAH, YEAH.
124
00:07:58,965 --> 00:08:00,931
SHEILA.
125
00:08:00,933 --> 00:08:01,965
SO DO YOU HAVE TO WORK
TOMORROW?
126
00:08:01,967 --> 00:08:03,599
SO, UM, S-SHEILA.
127
00:08:03,601 --> 00:08:05,233
'CAUSE I WANT TO GO
TO THE MOVIES WITH MY FRIENDS.
128
00:08:05,235 --> 00:08:06,234
SHEILA.
129
00:08:06,236 --> 00:08:07,301
WHAT?
130
00:08:07,303 --> 00:08:08,935
DO YOU LIKE SCHOOL THIS YEAR?
131
00:08:08,937 --> 00:08:10,269
IT'S OKAY.
132
00:08:10,271 --> 00:08:13,005
"SO, DO YOU LIKE SCHOOL
THIS YEAR?"
133
00:08:13,007 --> 00:08:14,406
THAT'S SERIOUSLY
WHAT YOU SOUND LIKE.
134
00:08:14,408 --> 00:08:15,507
JUST SHUT UP.
135
00:08:17,309 --> 00:08:18,475
GOD,
I'M TELLIN' YOU, RUSS,
136
00:08:18,477 --> 00:08:19,576
YOU'VE GOTTA GET
137
00:08:19,578 --> 00:08:21,411
ONE OF THESE
GO-KART KITS.
138
00:08:21,413 --> 00:08:22,445
WHAT?
OH, YEAH, YEAH, YEAH.
139
00:08:22,447 --> 00:08:23,779
GARY AND I SPENT
140
00:08:23,781 --> 00:08:25,647
THE LAST TWO MONTHS
BUILDING THIS THING.
141
00:08:25,649 --> 00:08:28,282
WE TOOK HER OUT THIS MORNING
FOR THE FIRST TIME.
142
00:08:28,284 --> 00:08:30,484
HOLY MOLY.
143
00:08:30,486 --> 00:08:31,618
FUN?
144
00:08:31,620 --> 00:08:33,586
NO, NO,
IT WAS TERRIBLE.
145
00:08:33,588 --> 00:08:35,654
OH, YEAH, IT WAS FUN!
146
00:08:35,656 --> 00:08:37,188
HOT DAMN!
IT'S A GO-KART.
147
00:08:37,190 --> 00:08:39,623
G-MAN, GET OVER HERE.
148
00:08:39,625 --> 00:08:41,791
G-MAN, G-MAN,
G-MAN, G-MAN, G-MAN.
UH-OH. UH-OH.
149
00:08:41,793 --> 00:08:43,159
OH, MY GOD, MY G-MAN.
150
00:08:43,161 --> 00:08:44,493
I LOVE HIM.
151
00:08:44,495 --> 00:08:46,027
GET IN THERE.
WHAT? OH, I DIDN'T --
152
00:08:46,029 --> 00:08:47,528
WHAT? WHAT? WHAT?
153
00:08:47,530 --> 00:08:48,762
GET IN THERE.
GET IN THERE. GET IN THERE.
154
00:08:48,764 --> 00:08:49,763
GET IN THERE.
BLBLBLBLBL!
155
00:08:51,166 --> 00:08:53,599
OH, MAN!
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH.
156
00:08:53,601 --> 00:08:56,868
OH.
OH, TELL MR. GRISWOLD
HOW DOPE OUR GO-KART IS.
157
00:08:56,870 --> 00:08:58,436
IT'S GOT A ZANARDI CHASSIS
158
00:08:58,438 --> 00:09:00,971
AND A FOUR-STROKE
BRIGGS & STRATTON ENGINE.
159
00:09:00,973 --> 00:09:03,373
WOW. AND YOU GUYS
BUILT THIS TOGETHER?
YEP.
160
00:09:03,375 --> 00:09:05,174
WE WORKED ON IT EVERY DAY AFTER
HOMEWORK AND TOOTHBRUSHIN'.
161
00:09:05,176 --> 00:09:07,176
I LOVE -- GET OVER HERE.
GET OVER HERE, MAN.
162
00:09:07,178 --> 00:09:09,144
AAH! AAH!
163
00:09:09,146 --> 00:09:10,612
WORK IT, SUGAR RAY.
164
00:09:10,614 --> 00:09:12,113
COME ON, SUGAR RAY.
OHH! OHH! OHH!
165
00:09:12,115 --> 00:09:13,047
HE'S WORKIN' ME OVER.
166
00:09:14,550 --> 00:09:16,049
I'M GONNA EAT YOUR FACE!
167
00:09:16,051 --> 00:09:17,650
KEVIN, JAMES, GET OVER HERE!
168
00:09:17,652 --> 00:09:19,518
NO.
169
00:09:19,520 --> 00:09:20,819
COME ON.
170
00:09:20,821 --> 00:09:22,387
OH! OH!
THERE YOU ARE!
171
00:09:22,389 --> 00:09:23,721
OW. OW.
172
00:09:23,723 --> 00:09:25,122
WHOA-HO!
DAD, STOP.
173
00:09:25,124 --> 00:09:26,623
COME ON, MAN.
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
174
00:09:26,625 --> 00:09:27,824
COME ON. WE'RE SPARRING.
WE DO THIS ALL THE TIME.
175
00:09:27,826 --> 00:09:29,525
-NO. WE NEVER DO THIS.
-COME ON.
176
00:09:29,527 --> 00:09:31,660
MNH. OW. HEY!
DON'T -- DON'T HIT YOUR OLD MAN.
177
00:09:31,662 --> 00:09:32,727
I DON'T WANNA
BE A PART OF THIS.
178
00:09:32,729 --> 00:09:33,828
WHOA!
179
00:09:36,365 --> 00:09:38,398
D-- WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
AAH! AAH! AAH!
180
00:09:38,400 --> 00:09:39,399
THIS IS HOW
ACCIDENTS HAPPEN.
SACRIFICE!
181
00:09:39,401 --> 00:09:40,900
AAH!
DAD!
182
00:09:40,902 --> 00:09:43,402
LET GO OF ME. STOP!
WHY DID YOU DO THAT?
183
00:09:44,805 --> 00:09:46,004
I'M SORRY, MAN.
184
00:09:46,006 --> 00:09:47,705
COME ON.
I WAS JUST FOOLIN' AROUND.
185
00:09:47,707 --> 00:09:49,339
THAT WASN'T FUN.
LIKE WE ALWAYS DO.
186
00:09:49,341 --> 00:09:51,007
WE NEVER DO THAT.
HEY.
187
00:09:51,009 --> 00:09:53,242
WHAT DO YOU SAY YOU AND I BUILD
A GO-KART TOGETHER?
188
00:09:54,477 --> 00:09:55,810
IF WE HAVE TO.
189
00:09:55,812 --> 00:09:57,311
YEAH!
ALL RIGHT!
190
00:09:57,313 --> 00:09:59,579
G-MAN!
GET OUTTA HERE.
191
00:09:59,581 --> 00:10:00,913
GET OUTTA HERE, G-MAN!
192
00:10:02,249 --> 00:10:05,083
D-DID YOU JUST STEAL
MY SON'S NICKNAME?
193
00:10:10,589 --> 00:10:11,889
I'M NOT SURE ABOUT --
OH, SHOOT.
194
00:10:11,891 --> 00:10:13,323
OH.
DANG IT.
195
00:10:13,325 --> 00:10:15,258
WOW. YOUR RING
IS GETTING LOOSE, THERE, DEB.
196
00:10:15,260 --> 00:10:16,859
MM. YEAH.
ARE YOU LOSIN' WEIGHT?
197
00:10:16,861 --> 00:10:18,994
YEAH. I AM.
YOU KNOW WHAT I'VE BEEN DOING?
198
00:10:18,996 --> 00:10:20,528
SPINNING.
199
00:10:20,530 --> 00:10:22,696
YEAH. IT'S A --
IT'S A GREAT STRESS RELIEVER.
200
00:10:22,698 --> 00:10:25,365
NOW, I'M GONNA TELL YOU WHAT'S
AN EVEN GREATER STRESS RELIEVER.
201
00:10:25,367 --> 00:10:27,433
AND THAT IS
A WEEK IN PARIS.
202
00:10:27,435 --> 00:10:30,169
OH, MY GOSH!
I SAW THAT ON INSTAGRAM.
203
00:10:30,171 --> 00:10:31,737
ALL YOUR PICTURES
WERE SO GREAT.
204
00:10:31,739 --> 00:10:33,205
OH, SO YOU DID SEE 'EM.
YEAH!
205
00:10:33,207 --> 00:10:35,040
WELL, THAT'S FUNNY
'CAUSE I WAS GONNA ASK
206
00:10:35,042 --> 00:10:36,674
HOW COME YOU DIDN'T LIKE
ANY OF 'EM.
207
00:10:36,676 --> 00:10:38,442
WHAT DO YOU MEAN?
I JUST SAID I DID.
208
00:10:38,444 --> 00:10:39,843
WELL, NO,
ALL MY OTHER FRIENDS,
209
00:10:39,845 --> 00:10:41,711
UH, WHO SAW MY PARIS PICS,
THEY CLICKED "LIKE."
210
00:10:41,713 --> 00:10:43,345
YOU WERE THE ONLY ONE
WHO DIDN'T CLICK "LIKE."
211
00:10:43,347 --> 00:10:44,579
OH.
212
00:10:44,581 --> 00:10:46,247
I GUESS I JUST
DIDN'T GET AROUND
213
00:10:46,249 --> 00:10:48,515
TO ACTUALLY
CLICKING "LIKE" ON THEM.
214
00:10:48,517 --> 00:10:49,616
OKAY,
'CAUSE LOOK AT THIS ONE.
215
00:10:49,618 --> 00:10:50,950
NOW, IN THIS ONE,
216
00:10:50,952 --> 00:10:53,786
WE HAVE SHEILA AND GARY
WEARIN' BERETS.
217
00:10:53,788 --> 00:10:54,953
I KNOW.
RIGHT? BONJOUR.
218
00:10:54,955 --> 00:10:56,354
I KNOW.
I LIKE THAT ONE SO MUCH.
219
00:10:56,356 --> 00:10:57,521
IT'S SO CUTE.
BUT YOU DIDN'T "LIKE" IT.
220
00:10:57,523 --> 00:10:59,089
OKAY.
221
00:10:59,091 --> 00:11:01,291
NOW, HERE ARE THE FOUR OF US
AT THE ARC DE TRIOMPHE.
222
00:11:01,293 --> 00:11:03,259
DIDN'T "LIKE" THAT.
DIDN'T "LIKE" MY CHILDREN.
223
00:11:03,261 --> 00:11:05,127
DIDN'T "LIKE" MY MAN
KISSIN' ON ME.
224
00:11:05,129 --> 00:11:07,229
I-I-I PROMISE YOU,
THE SECOND YOU GUYS LEAVE,
225
00:11:07,231 --> 00:11:09,197
I AM GONNA GO UPSTAIRS ONLINE,
226
00:11:09,199 --> 00:11:11,799
AND I AM GONNA CLICK "LIKE"
ON EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THEM.
227
00:11:11,801 --> 00:11:13,367
HONESTLY, HONEY,
IT REALLY --
I PROMISE.
228
00:11:13,369 --> 00:11:15,635
IT MAKES NO DIFFERENCE
TO ME.
229
00:11:17,237 --> 00:11:20,272
SO, ARE YOU GUYS GOING ANYWHERE
SPECIAL THIS SUMMER?
230
00:11:20,274 --> 00:11:22,140
OH, I WISH.
YEAH. NO.
231
00:11:22,142 --> 00:11:24,442
WE'RE -- WE ARE RENTING
THE SAME CABIN
232
00:11:24,444 --> 00:11:25,810
THAT WE'VE BEEN RENTING
FOR 10 YEARS
233
00:11:25,812 --> 00:11:27,812
IN CHEBOYGAN, MICHIGAN.
WOW.
234
00:11:27,814 --> 00:11:29,413
The boys call it
"Che-boring," Michigan.
235
00:11:30,783 --> 00:11:32,082
ISN'T THAT FUNNY?
236
00:11:32,084 --> 00:11:33,616
WHY DON'T YOU
JUST GO SOMEPLACE ELSE?
237
00:11:33,618 --> 00:11:36,151
OH, NO. WE CAN'T.
RUSTY LOVES IT SO MUCH.
238
00:11:36,153 --> 00:11:38,286
I WOULD BREAK HIS HEART
IF I TOLD HIM THAT
WE HATE THE CABIN.
239
00:11:38,288 --> 00:11:39,420
OH, BOY.
YEAH.
240
00:11:39,422 --> 00:11:42,456
I UNDERSTAND.
I UNDERSTAND.
241
00:11:42,458 --> 00:11:44,558
YEAH.
WELL, YOU KNOW
WHAT THE GOOD NEWS IS?
242
00:11:44,560 --> 00:11:45,992
HMM?
243
00:11:45,994 --> 00:11:48,227
HONESTLY,
EVEN IF YOU GO THERE
244
00:11:48,229 --> 00:11:50,128
AND YOU DON'T HAVE
A GREAT TIME, BABY,
245
00:11:50,130 --> 00:11:51,562
AT LEAST YOU KNOW
246
00:11:51,564 --> 00:11:53,297
THAT I WILL CLICK "LIKE"
ON ALL YOUR PHOTOS.
247
00:11:53,299 --> 00:11:55,132
OH, JESUS CHRIST, NANCY.
248
00:11:55,134 --> 00:11:57,434
LOOK! LOOK!
249
00:11:59,004 --> 00:12:00,937
WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS?
250
00:12:00,939 --> 00:12:02,471
- LOUIE!
- YES, SIR.
251
00:12:02,473 --> 00:12:05,674
OH, YOU'RE BACK THERE!
GET OUT!
252
00:12:13,782 --> 00:12:15,649
WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS?!
253
00:12:15,651 --> 00:12:18,684
HEY, MADAM. HOW MUCH CAPELLINI
ARE YOU THROWING AWAY?
254
00:12:19,952 --> 00:12:22,086
WHAT ARE YOU DOING, MELINDA?
255
00:12:22,987 --> 00:12:25,588
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
256
00:12:25,590 --> 00:12:28,090
- YOU'RE MAKING ME MAD!
- YES, CHEF.
257
00:12:28,092 --> 00:12:29,357
SO FUCKING MAD!
YES, CHEF.
258
00:12:29,359 --> 00:12:31,025
- JOSEPH!
- YES, CHEF.
259
00:12:59,117 --> 00:13:00,683
GUYS, I HAVE EXCITING NEWS.
260
00:13:00,685 --> 00:13:01,984
JAMES HAS AIDS?!
261
00:13:01,986 --> 00:13:04,119
WHAT? NO!
THAT'S HORRIBLE.
262
00:13:04,121 --> 00:13:06,488
I'D BE EXCITED.
WELL, WHAT IS IT?
WHAT IS IT?
263
00:13:06,490 --> 00:13:08,122
THE FOUR OF US ARE GONNA TAKE
A LITTLE TRIP.
264
00:13:08,124 --> 00:13:09,356
PARIS.
265
00:13:09,358 --> 00:13:11,358
HMM? NO.
MUCH BETTER.
266
00:13:11,360 --> 00:13:14,827
WE'RE DRIVING TO WALLEY WORLD.
267
00:13:14,829 --> 00:13:15,794
WHAT?
268
00:13:15,796 --> 00:13:17,128
THIS FAMILY'S IN A RUT.
269
00:13:17,130 --> 00:13:18,195
WE GOTTA SHAKE THINGS UP.
RIGHT?
270
00:13:18,197 --> 00:13:19,597
SPEND A LITTLE QUALITY TIME.
271
00:13:19,599 --> 00:13:21,265
AND OF COURSE,
IT WOULDN'T HURT
272
00:13:21,267 --> 00:13:23,400
FOR THE BOYS TO LEARN
TO GET ALONG A LITTLE BETTER.
273
00:13:23,402 --> 00:13:26,002
UH, BY LOCKING THEM
IN A CAR TOGETHER?
YEAH.
274
00:13:26,004 --> 00:13:27,737
THIS IS SOME BULLSHIT
RIGHT HERE!
275
00:13:27,739 --> 00:13:29,438
HEY!
LANGUAGE!
WELL, IT IS!
276
00:13:29,440 --> 00:13:31,807
I'M GONNA MISS THE FIRST WEEK
OF WRESTLING PRACTICE!
277
00:13:31,809 --> 00:13:34,075
WE'LL FIND A WRESTLING RANGE
ALONG THE WAY.
278
00:13:34,077 --> 00:13:35,643
THAT'S NOT EVEN A THING!
279
00:13:35,645 --> 00:13:37,077
AND, DAD, NO OFFENSE,
280
00:13:37,079 --> 00:13:38,645
BUT I JUST DON'T WANNA DO
MY FIRST BIG ROAD TRIP
281
00:13:38,647 --> 00:13:40,680
TO SOME CORPORATE THEME PARK,
YOU KNOW?
282
00:13:40,682 --> 00:13:42,748
I'D LIKE TO EXPLORE
THE REAL AMERICA,
283
00:13:42,750 --> 00:13:46,150
LIKE, UH, JACK KEROUAC
OR THE MERRY PRANKSTERS.
284
00:13:46,152 --> 00:13:47,284
OW.
285
00:13:47,286 --> 00:13:49,252
DON'T SAY WEIRD SHIT!
OW!
286
00:13:49,254 --> 00:13:51,420
KEVIN! BULLYING!
GUYS, COME ON.
287
00:13:51,422 --> 00:13:52,821
MY TRIP TO WALLEY WORLD
WHEN I WAS A KID
288
00:13:52,823 --> 00:13:54,355
WAS THE BEST TIME I EVER HAD.
289
00:13:54,357 --> 00:13:58,825
SO YOU JUST WANNA REDO
YOUR VACATION FROM 30 YEARS AGO?
290
00:13:58,827 --> 00:14:01,027
DON'T YOU THINK THAT'S GONNA BE
KIND OF A LETDOWN?
291
00:14:01,029 --> 00:14:03,195
NO, NO, NO, NO.
WE'RE NOT REDOING ANYTHING.
292
00:14:03,197 --> 00:14:04,996
THIS WILL BE
COMPLETELY DIFFERENT.
293
00:14:04,998 --> 00:14:07,198
FOR ONE THING, THE ORIGINAL
VACATION HAD A BOY AND A GIRL.
294
00:14:07,200 --> 00:14:09,099
THIS ONE HAS TWO BOYS.
295
00:14:09,101 --> 00:14:13,036
AND I'M SURE THAT THERE WILL BE
LOTS OF OTHER DIFFERENCES.
296
00:14:13,038 --> 00:14:14,971
I'VE NEVER EVEN HEARD
OF THE ORIGINAL VACATION.
297
00:14:14,973 --> 00:14:16,272
DOESN'T MATTER.
298
00:14:16,274 --> 00:14:18,107
THE NEW VACATION
WILL STAND ON ITS OWN.
299
00:14:18,109 --> 00:14:19,308
OKAY?
300
00:14:19,310 --> 00:14:20,776
COME ON, HONEY.
301
00:14:20,778 --> 00:14:24,179
WHAT DO YOU SAY?
WE CAN DRIVE OUT AND FLY BACK.
302
00:14:24,181 --> 00:14:25,947
OH, WHAT THE HECK.
303
00:14:25,949 --> 00:14:28,616
IT COULDN'T BE AS BAD AS THAT
STUPID CABIN, RIGHT, HONEY?
304
00:14:28,618 --> 00:14:30,150
THAT'S THE SPIRIT.
ALL RIGHT.
305
00:14:30,152 --> 00:14:32,552
FUCK ME.
306
00:14:32,554 --> 00:14:34,453
ARE WE GONNA DRIVE ALL THAT WAY
IN YOUR LITTLE CAR, DAD?
307
00:14:34,455 --> 00:14:36,655
NOT EXACTLY.
308
00:14:48,498 --> 00:14:50,499
- COME ON, GUYS.
- WHAT?
309
00:14:50,501 --> 00:14:52,000
HOW COME YOU DIDN'T FOLLOW ME
JUST THEN?
310
00:14:52,002 --> 00:14:54,168
OH.
YOU WANTED US TO?
311
00:14:54,170 --> 00:14:56,036
YEAH. THAT'S WHY
I DANGLED THE KEY LIKE THAT.
312
00:14:56,038 --> 00:14:58,071
OH, WELL, I DON'T --
WHY ELSE WOULD I...?
313
00:14:58,073 --> 00:14:59,572
YOU COULD HAVE JUST SAID,
"COME WITH ME."
314
00:15:01,142 --> 00:15:02,741
LOOK WHAT YOUR DAD RENTED.
315
00:15:03,843 --> 00:15:04,909
WHAT THE HELL IS THAT?
316
00:15:04,911 --> 00:15:06,477
KEVIN.
317
00:15:06,479 --> 00:15:09,012
THAT'S A 2015
TARTAN PRANCER.
318
00:15:09,014 --> 00:15:10,513
DID YOU SAY "TARTAN,"
HONEY?
YEAH.
319
00:15:10,515 --> 00:15:11,981
TARTAN'S THE HONDA
OF ALBANIA.
320
00:15:11,983 --> 00:15:14,049
WHY'D YOU GET
AN ALBANIAN CAR, DAD?
321
00:15:14,051 --> 00:15:16,418
WELL, IT TURNS OUT
RENTING A FAMILY CAR
ON MEMORIAL DAY WEEKEND
322
00:15:16,420 --> 00:15:17,719
DOESN'T LEAVE YOU
WITH A LOT OF OPTIONS.
323
00:15:17,721 --> 00:15:20,421
BUT THIS BABY
IS PRETTY SWEET.
324
00:15:20,423 --> 00:15:22,689
IT'S GOT ALL THE LATEST
ALBANIAN TECHNOLOGY.
325
00:15:22,691 --> 00:15:24,090
PLUG-IN HYBRID.
326
00:15:24,092 --> 00:15:26,158
OH, WOW. ECO-FRIENDLY.
GOOD.
327
00:15:26,160 --> 00:15:29,660
SO ANY TIME WE RUN OUTTA JUICE,
WE CAN JUST PULL RIGHT OVER,
328
00:15:29,662 --> 00:15:31,328
AND...PLUG IN.
329
00:15:31,330 --> 00:15:33,330
I DON'T --
I DON'T KNOW WHAT THAT IS.
330
00:15:33,332 --> 00:15:35,565
NEVER SEEN AN OUTLET FOR THAT.
331
00:15:35,567 --> 00:15:36,999
SHOULD IT RETRACT, OR...
332
00:15:37,001 --> 00:15:38,266
YOU WOULD THINK
IT WOULD RETRACT.
333
00:15:38,268 --> 00:15:39,934
IT JUST...
HUH.
334
00:15:39,936 --> 00:15:41,402
IF IT JUST --
NO, IT DOESN'T. IT'S --
YEAH.
335
00:15:41,404 --> 00:15:42,403
CUP HOLDER?
336
00:15:42,405 --> 00:15:43,604
I THINK YOU COIL IT.
337
00:15:43,606 --> 00:15:45,038
I THINK YOU JUST COIL IT
LIKE THAT.
338
00:15:45,040 --> 00:15:46,906
RIGHT?
AND THEN YOU CLOSE IT RIGHT UP.
339
00:15:46,908 --> 00:15:49,041
DOESN'T MATTER.
WE'VE STILL GOT TWO GAS TANKS.
340
00:15:49,043 --> 00:15:51,443
WHY TWO?
CARRY TWICE AS MUCH GAS.
341
00:15:51,445 --> 00:15:53,745
WHY NOT JUST HAVE
ONE BIG TANK?
342
00:15:53,747 --> 00:15:55,213
IT'S TWICE THE GAS,
BUDDY.
343
00:15:55,215 --> 00:15:56,347
ACTUALLY THE SAME VOLUME.
344
00:15:56,349 --> 00:15:58,415
TWO SMALL --
Shh.
345
00:15:58,417 --> 00:16:00,049
It has six ashtrays.
346
00:16:00,051 --> 00:16:01,550
SIX. WOW.
347
00:16:01,552 --> 00:16:04,886
HOPE YOU GUYS
LIKE SMOKIN'! RIGHT?
348
00:16:04,888 --> 00:16:06,053
- YEAH.
- YEAH.
349
00:16:06,055 --> 00:16:07,353
WHAT'S WITH ALL THE MIRRORS?
350
00:16:09,789 --> 00:16:10,889
SAFER.
351
00:16:10,891 --> 00:16:12,790
BUT...
OH!
352
00:16:12,792 --> 00:16:14,091
AND THIS IS AMAZING.
353
00:16:14,093 --> 00:16:16,760
I CAN CONTROL THE ENTIRE CAR
FROM THE FOB.
354
00:16:16,762 --> 00:16:18,394
WHAT DO ALL THE BUTTONS MEAN?
355
00:16:18,396 --> 00:16:19,862
NO CLUE.
BUT WE'LL FIGURE IT OUT.
356
00:16:19,864 --> 00:16:22,197
HONEY, IS THAT --
IS THAT A SWASTIKA ON THERE?
357
00:16:22,199 --> 00:16:24,933
YEAH.
WE WON'T USE THAT.
358
00:16:24,935 --> 00:16:26,200
THIS IS MY FAVORITE PART.
359
00:16:28,736 --> 00:16:30,069
SLAM THE DOOR ON MY ARM.
360
00:16:30,071 --> 00:16:31,703
WHAT?
IT HAS A SENSOR.
361
00:16:31,705 --> 00:16:34,472
IT WON'T LET YOU SLAM THE DOOR
ON YOUR ARM OR LEG.
362
00:16:34,474 --> 00:16:35,873
HONEY, I'M NOT DOING THAT.
363
00:16:35,875 --> 00:16:37,441
THE RENTAL GUY SHOWED ME.
JUST DO IT.
364
00:16:37,443 --> 00:16:39,009
OKAY.
DO IT!
365
00:16:40,244 --> 00:16:41,944
DO IT.
KINDA FUN.
366
00:16:41,946 --> 00:16:43,879
SLAM IT.
ALL RIGHT.
367
00:16:43,881 --> 00:16:44,779
THERE YA GO.
OH!
368
00:16:44,781 --> 00:16:46,080
OH, MY GOD!
OH!
369
00:16:46,082 --> 00:16:47,247
OH, MY GOSH!
OHH.
370
00:16:47,249 --> 00:16:48,581
GOD DAMN IT!
OH, MY GOD!
371
00:16:48,583 --> 00:16:49,782
WHY DID YOU HAVE ME
DO THAT?
372
00:16:50,785 --> 00:16:52,985
OHH.
373
00:16:52,987 --> 00:16:55,787
OH. OH, I DIDN'T HAVE
THE SENSOR ACTIVATED.
374
00:16:55,789 --> 00:16:57,054
OKAY.
375
00:16:57,056 --> 00:16:58,789
I'M AN IDIOT.
DO IT AGAIN.
376
00:16:58,791 --> 00:17:00,223
NO!
ABSOLUTELY NOT.
377
00:17:00,225 --> 00:17:01,757
COME ON. IT'LL BE FINE.
I JUST ACTIVATED IT.
378
00:17:01,759 --> 00:17:02,657
NO, I'M NOT GONNA DO IT!
379
00:17:02,659 --> 00:17:03,791
DON'T BE CHICKEN.
380
00:17:03,793 --> 00:17:04,892
FINE!
381
00:17:04,894 --> 00:17:06,560
AAH! OW!
AAH!
382
00:17:06,562 --> 00:17:08,395
SHIT!
383
00:17:08,397 --> 00:17:09,396
WHY DID YOU DO THAT?
384
00:17:09,398 --> 00:17:10,897
-REALLY?
385
00:17:10,899 --> 00:17:12,398
YOU'RE RIGHT.
I'M SORRY.
386
00:17:12,400 --> 00:17:14,600
OHH. NOBODY SLAM THEIR ARM
IN THE DOOR, OKAY?
387
00:17:14,602 --> 00:17:16,501
CAN I SLAM IT
ON JAMES' BALLS?
388
00:17:16,503 --> 00:17:18,736
SO YOU ADMIT
I HAVE BALLS?
YEAH, THEY HANG
OUTTA YOUR VAGINA.
389
00:17:18,738 --> 00:17:20,604
OKAY,
YOU TWO STOP THAT.
GUYS, COME ON.
THERE'S PLENTY OF TIME FOR THAT.
390
00:17:20,606 --> 00:17:21,805
PLEASE.
GO ON AND GET PACKED.
391
00:17:21,807 --> 00:17:22,806
WE'RE HITTIN' THE ROAD
TODAY.
392
00:17:22,808 --> 00:17:24,073
OKAY.
393
00:17:24,075 --> 00:17:25,441
GUESS WE'RE LEAVING
TODAY.
PHEW!
394
00:17:25,443 --> 00:17:26,675
ALL RIGHT.
LET'S GO, GUYS.
395
00:17:31,813 --> 00:17:33,480
AH.
396
00:17:40,153 --> 00:17:42,087
HEY, HONEY.
WHAT'S ALL THAT?
397
00:17:42,089 --> 00:17:44,589
WELL,
THIS IS MY DREAM JOURNAL,
398
00:17:44,591 --> 00:17:47,458
WHIMSY LOG,
WISH DIARY,
399
00:17:47,460 --> 00:17:48,659
MY POEMS.
400
00:17:48,661 --> 00:17:51,028
AND THIS BAD BOY
IS GOING TO BE
401
00:17:51,030 --> 00:17:53,830
A STREAM OF CONSCIOUSNESS
TRAVEL LOG, SO...
402
00:17:53,832 --> 00:17:55,998
YEAH.
403
00:17:56,000 --> 00:17:58,266
COME ON, HONEY,
EVERY BOY THAT AGE
404
00:17:58,268 --> 00:18:00,034
HAS A STACK OF DIARIES.
405
00:18:00,036 --> 00:18:01,502
OKAY, GANG.
406
00:18:02,505 --> 00:18:05,172
SEAT BELTS ON!
407
00:18:05,174 --> 00:18:06,439
TWO FULL TANKS OF GAS!
408
00:18:06,441 --> 00:18:07,973
HONEY, GPS CHECK?
409
00:18:07,975 --> 00:18:09,441
YES. YES.
ROGER THAT.
410
00:18:09,443 --> 00:18:11,276
OKAY.
411
00:18:11,278 --> 00:18:14,512
YOUR DESTINATION
IS 2,560 MILES AHEAD.
412
00:18:14,514 --> 00:18:17,181
WALLEY WORLD,
HERE WE COME.
413
00:18:47,139 --> 00:18:48,905
WELL,
WE'RE ALMOST OUT OF GAS.
414
00:18:48,907 --> 00:18:51,240
WHAT?
HOW IS THAT POSSIBLE?
415
00:18:51,242 --> 00:18:52,941
WE'VE BEEN DRIVING
FOR LESS THAN AN HOUR.
416
00:19:04,652 --> 00:19:06,885
HEY, DAD, WHAT'S SO SPECIAL
ABOUT WALLEY WORLD?
417
00:19:06,887 --> 00:19:09,220
I MEAN, WE HAVE PLENTY
OF THEME PARKS AT HOME.
418
00:19:09,222 --> 00:19:11,422
WELL,
WALLEY WORLD IS HOME
419
00:19:11,424 --> 00:19:14,858
OF THE ONE AND ONLY
VELOCIRAPTOR.
420
00:19:14,860 --> 00:19:16,826
WHAT THE HELL IS THAT?
421
00:19:16,828 --> 00:19:18,894
IT'S ONLY THE NEWEST,
SCARIEST ROLLER COASTER
422
00:19:18,896 --> 00:19:19,895
IN THE COUNTRY.
423
00:19:21,231 --> 00:19:24,031
450 FEET TALL,
110 MILES AN HOUR,
424
00:19:24,033 --> 00:19:26,533
TRIPLE CORKSCREW LOOP.
425
00:19:26,535 --> 00:19:28,601
YEAH. OH, HEY!
LOOK AT THIS!
426
00:19:28,603 --> 00:19:31,403
LOOKS LIKE WE GOT OURSELVES
A LITTLE OLD CONVOY.
427
00:19:31,405 --> 00:19:32,937
LET'S SAY "HI."
428
00:19:34,272 --> 00:19:36,340
OH, MY GOODNESS.
IT HAS A CB RADIO IN IT?
429
00:19:36,342 --> 00:19:37,841
YEAH.
COMES STANDARD IN ALL PRANCERS.
430
00:19:37,843 --> 00:19:40,143
THIS WAY WE CAN TALK
TO TRUCKERS.
OKAY.
431
00:19:40,145 --> 00:19:42,812
NOW, GUYS, YOU JUST HAVE
TO SPEAK THEIR LINGO.
432
00:19:42,814 --> 00:19:44,947
ALL RIGHT, I'M GONNA ASK HIM
IF THERE'S ANY POLICE UP AHEAD.
433
00:19:46,116 --> 00:19:47,849
BREAKER 1-9
TO RUBBER DUCKY.
434
00:19:47,851 --> 00:19:50,484
YOU GOT ANY SMOKEY THE BEARS
IN YOUR KITCHEN? OVER.
435
00:19:52,054 --> 00:19:53,553
You're clean and green
for the next 20 klicks.
436
00:19:53,555 --> 00:19:55,788
HE REPLIED!
I KNOW!
437
00:19:55,790 --> 00:19:57,289
WHAT DID THAT EVEN MEAN?
438
00:19:57,291 --> 00:19:59,291
I HAVE NO IDEA,
BUT WHO CARES?
439
00:19:59,293 --> 00:20:00,492
HE SEEMS NICE.
440
00:20:00,494 --> 00:20:02,460
HE DOES SEEM NICE,
DOESN'T HE?
441
00:20:02,462 --> 00:20:04,395
COPY THAT, GOOD BUDDY.
OVER.
442
00:20:04,397 --> 00:20:05,529
OH, CAN I TRY, DAD?
443
00:20:05,531 --> 00:20:06,796
YEAH, COURSE.
444
00:20:06,798 --> 00:20:08,697
WHEN YOU FINISH TALKING,
SAY "OVER."
445
00:20:08,699 --> 00:20:10,298
OKAY. COOL.
OKAY.
446
00:20:10,300 --> 00:20:12,066
BREAKER 1-9,
447
00:20:12,068 --> 00:20:14,735
MY FRIEND JESSIE SAYS
ALL TRUCK DRIVERS ARE RAPISTS.
448
00:20:14,737 --> 00:20:16,036
ARE YOU A RAPIST?
KEVIN, NO!
449
00:20:16,038 --> 00:20:17,370
NO!
OH. SORRY.
450
00:20:17,372 --> 00:20:18,871
OVER.
NO! NO.
451
00:20:18,873 --> 00:20:20,372
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
452
00:20:20,374 --> 00:20:22,907
WHAT?
IT'S A QUESTION.
YOU'RE RUINING IT.
453
00:20:24,243 --> 00:20:26,743
SORRY ABOUT THAT THERE,
GOOD BUDDY.
454
00:20:26,745 --> 00:20:28,411
YOU KNOW HOW LITTLE BOYS ARE
WHEN THEIR MOUTHS GET GOIN'.
455
00:20:28,413 --> 00:20:32,681
I DON'T--
NOT TO IMPLY THAT YOU ARE...
456
00:20:32,683 --> 00:20:37,185
FOND OF WHEN LITTLE BOYS' MOUTHS
GET GOIN' IN ANY WAY.
457
00:20:37,187 --> 00:20:38,886
I-I'M NOT SUGGESTING
458
00:20:38,888 --> 00:20:41,221
THAT YOU ARE A SEX OFFENDER
OR A PEDOPHILE.
459
00:20:41,223 --> 00:20:42,855
OKAY, NO!
YEAH.
460
00:20:42,857 --> 00:20:44,857
SO THAT'S THE CB RADIO,
GUYS.
461
00:20:44,859 --> 00:20:46,859
NEAT, HUH?
462
00:20:46,861 --> 00:20:47,993
HEY, DAD,
WHAT'S A PEDOPHILE?
463
00:20:47,995 --> 00:20:49,594
MM, WELL, KEVIN,
464
00:20:49,596 --> 00:20:51,996
WHEN A MAN AND A BOY
LOVE EACH OTHER VERY MU--
NO.
465
00:20:51,998 --> 00:20:53,930
NO.
466
00:20:56,166 --> 00:20:58,534
I HAVE TO PISS.
ME, TOO.
467
00:20:58,536 --> 00:21:00,435
OKAY, GO WITH HIM, PLEASE,
AND KEEP AN EYE ON HIM.
468
00:21:00,437 --> 00:21:02,003
OKAY.
THANK YOU.
469
00:21:04,240 --> 00:21:06,540
LOOK AT THAT.
THE BOYS ARE BONDING ALREADY.
470
00:21:06,542 --> 00:21:07,774
MM-HMM.
471
00:21:07,776 --> 00:21:09,041
ISN'T THIS THE BEST?
472
00:21:09,043 --> 00:21:11,009
YEAH.
473
00:21:12,379 --> 00:21:14,045
DO YOU REMEMBER,
474
00:21:14,047 --> 00:21:16,213
BACK WHEN YOU WERE JUST GETTING
YOUR PILOT'S LICENSE
475
00:21:16,215 --> 00:21:18,215
AND YOU AND I
WOULD SIT THERE
476
00:21:18,217 --> 00:21:19,849
AND WE'D TALK
ABOUT ALL THOSE, LIKE,
477
00:21:19,851 --> 00:21:22,785
OVERSEAS TRIPS WE WOULD TAKE
AND STUFF?
OH.
478
00:21:22,787 --> 00:21:24,520
YEAH, OF COURSE,
THAT'S WHEN I THOUGHT
479
00:21:24,522 --> 00:21:27,189
I WAS GONNA FLY
FOR ONE OF THE BIG GUYS.
480
00:21:27,191 --> 00:21:28,924
I KNOW IT'S NOT
THE MOST GLAMOROUS AIRLINE,
481
00:21:28,926 --> 00:21:31,726
BUT ECONO AIR,
IT'S BEEN PRETTY GOOD TO US.
482
00:21:31,728 --> 00:21:32,893
AS FAR AS I'M CONCERNED,
483
00:21:32,895 --> 00:21:34,361
RIGHT HERE
WITH YOU AND THE BOYS,
484
00:21:34,363 --> 00:21:36,596
THIS IS PARADISE.
485
00:21:39,132 --> 00:21:40,932
THERE WAS A HOLE
IN THE SIDE OF MY STALL.
486
00:21:40,934 --> 00:21:42,433
SOUNDS LIKE YOU FOUND YOURSELF
A GLORY HOLE.
RUSS?
487
00:21:42,435 --> 00:21:43,767
HMM?
NO.
488
00:21:43,769 --> 00:21:45,401
ALL RIGHT.
LET'S HIT THE ROAD.
OKAY.
489
00:22:26,937 --> 00:22:29,137
GO TO SLEEP!
GO TO SLEEP!
490
00:22:41,347 --> 00:22:43,414
WHAT --
WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU?!
491
00:22:43,416 --> 00:22:45,582
I JUST WANTED TO SEE HOW LONG
YOU COULD HOLD YOUR BREATH
492
00:22:45,584 --> 00:22:46,950
BEFORE YOU BLACK OUT.
493
00:22:46,952 --> 00:22:49,319
DON'T DO THAT!
I COULD HAVE DIED.
494
00:22:49,321 --> 00:22:51,020
WHATEVER.
495
00:22:55,590 --> 00:22:57,691
GODDAMN IT.
KEVIN!
496
00:23:11,271 --> 00:23:12,870
HEY, HONEY,
WHY'D WE GET OFF THE HIGHWAY?
497
00:23:12,872 --> 00:23:14,438
WELL, I THOUGHT
IT WOULD BE FUN
498
00:23:14,440 --> 00:23:16,039
FOR THE KIDS TO SEE
WHERE YOU WENT TO COLLEGE.
499
00:23:16,041 --> 00:23:19,342
OH, GOD. WHY WOULD THAT
BE FUN FOR THEM, HONEY?
500
00:23:19,344 --> 00:23:20,843
WELL,
YOU COULD GIVE US A TOUR.
501
00:23:20,845 --> 00:23:22,477
MAYBE ONE OF THEM
COULD STUDY THERE ONE DAY.
502
00:23:22,479 --> 00:23:24,879
OH, NO.
NO WAY, MAN.
503
00:23:24,881 --> 00:23:26,180
I'VE GOT MY SIGHTS SET
504
00:23:26,182 --> 00:23:27,614
ON SOMETHING
A LITTLE MORE IVY LEAGUE.
505
00:23:27,616 --> 00:23:28,815
OH.
506
00:23:28,817 --> 00:23:30,149
LITTLE FUCKER.
507
00:23:30,151 --> 00:23:31,817
WHAT, MA?
I LOVE YOU.
508
00:23:31,819 --> 00:23:33,185
THAT'S WHAT I SAID.
509
00:23:33,187 --> 00:23:34,686
LOVE YOU, TOO.
I SAID I LOVE YOU.
510
00:23:34,688 --> 00:23:36,621
LET'S JUST SEE HOW FAR IT IS.
511
00:23:36,623 --> 00:23:39,056
YOU ARE 9.2 MILES
FROM YOUR DESTINATION.
512
00:23:39,058 --> 00:23:40,057
OH.
ALL RIGHT.
513
00:23:40,059 --> 00:23:42,192
CHECK THE BEST ROUTE.
514
00:23:43,528 --> 00:23:45,127
OH!
I CHANGED THE LANGUAGE.
515
00:23:48,632 --> 00:23:49,964
THAT'S NOT IT.
516
00:23:51,400 --> 00:23:52,532
WHAT IS THAT?
517
00:23:52,534 --> 00:23:54,700
UH, I DON'T KNOW.
I -- KOREAN?
518
00:23:55,969 --> 00:23:57,201
OH, GOD, IT'S HORRIBLE!
OH.
519
00:23:57,203 --> 00:23:59,002
JUST PLEASE TURN IT OFF,
RUSS.
520
00:23:59,004 --> 00:24:00,670
THE MENU'S ALL IN KOREAN NOW.
I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO PRESS.
521
00:24:00,672 --> 00:24:02,905
WHY IS IT SO MUCH ANGRIER
THAN THE OTHER VOICES?
522
00:24:02,907 --> 00:24:04,873
WHY DON'T WE JUST--
HONEY, IT DOESN'T...
523
00:24:04,875 --> 00:24:06,674
IT LIKE
WHEN YOU TOUCH IT, OKAY?
524
00:24:06,676 --> 00:24:09,476
JUST LEAVE IT ALONE.
LET IT CALM DOWN.
525
00:24:20,653 --> 00:24:24,421
WOW. THIS PLACE
HAS NOT CHANGED A BIT.
526
00:24:24,423 --> 00:24:26,055
ISN'T THAT SORORITY ROW?
527
00:24:26,057 --> 00:24:27,322
MM-HMM.
528
00:24:27,324 --> 00:24:28,656
LET'S GO CHECK OUT
YOUR HOUSE.
529
00:24:28,658 --> 00:24:30,391
OH, NO, HONEY.
530
00:24:30,393 --> 00:24:32,092
DON'T YOU -- DON'T YOU THINK
WE SHOULD GET BACK ON THE ROAD?
531
00:24:32,094 --> 00:24:34,327
NO, COME ON.
IT'LL BE FUN.
532
00:24:34,329 --> 00:24:36,662
IT'S -- IT'S JUST A BORING,
OLD HOUSE.
533
00:24:53,912 --> 00:24:56,013
GO! GO! GO! GO!
534
00:24:56,015 --> 00:24:57,614
YEAH!
THAT'S WHAT'S UP!
535
00:24:57,616 --> 00:25:00,583
I CANNOT BELIEVE THAT
THEY ARE STILL DOING THIS.
536
00:25:00,585 --> 00:25:02,451
CHUG! CHUG! CHUG! CHUG
537
00:25:02,453 --> 00:25:03,618
WHAT IS IT?
538
00:25:03,620 --> 00:25:06,954
UH, IT IS
THE TRI-PI CHUG RUN.
539
00:25:06,956 --> 00:25:09,456
YOU HAVE TO CHUG
A BIG PITCHER OF BEER
540
00:25:09,458 --> 00:25:11,891
AND THEN YOU HAVE TO GET THROUGH
THE COURSE AS FAST AS YOU CAN.
541
00:25:11,893 --> 00:25:15,027
AND YOU DID THIS?
'CAUSE YOU HARDLY DRINK.
542
00:25:15,029 --> 00:25:16,294
NO. YEAH.
543
00:25:16,296 --> 00:25:17,528
BUT, HONEY, IT'S FOR CHARITY.
SEE?
544
00:25:20,132 --> 00:25:22,899
HI. WOULD YOU LIKE TO DONATE
TO ASSBURGERS?
545
00:25:22,901 --> 00:25:24,901
OH, NO.
WE'RE JUST STOPPING BY.
546
00:25:24,903 --> 00:25:27,203
I WAS A TRI-PI
A LONG TIME AGO, SO...
547
00:25:27,205 --> 00:25:29,905
IN FACT,
THE CHUG RUN WAS MY IDEA.
548
00:25:29,907 --> 00:25:31,273
IT WAS?
549
00:25:31,275 --> 00:25:33,041
YEAH.
550
00:25:33,043 --> 00:25:34,542
WAIT.
ARE YOU DEBBIE FLETCHER?
551
00:25:34,544 --> 00:25:35,609
YEAH.
552
00:25:35,611 --> 00:25:37,310
OH, MY SHIT.
553
00:25:37,312 --> 00:25:39,578
OH, MY SHIT!
I CAN'T BELIEVE IT'S YOU!
554
00:25:39,580 --> 00:25:41,980
GUYS! COME HERE!
BRING OVER THE BOOK!
555
00:25:41,982 --> 00:25:44,148
IT'S DEBBIE FUCKING FLETCHER.
556
00:25:44,150 --> 00:25:46,450
-HOW DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM?
-OH, MY GOD, ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
557
00:25:46,452 --> 00:25:48,385
YOU'RE LIKE A LEGEND
AT TRI-PI!
558
00:25:48,387 --> 00:25:50,086
YOU'RE DEBBIE DO-ANYTHING!
559
00:25:50,088 --> 00:25:51,220
UH,
DEBBIE DO-ANYTHING?
560
00:25:51,222 --> 00:25:52,321
-GO PLAY.
561
00:25:52,323 --> 00:25:54,456
YEAH, LOOK! SEE?
562
00:25:54,458 --> 00:25:56,424
HUH? OH, GOD.
563
00:25:56,426 --> 00:25:58,459
IS IT TRUE THAT YOU CLIMBED
THE CLOCK TOWER NAKED?
564
00:25:58,461 --> 00:26:00,127
OF COURSE NOT.
565
00:26:00,129 --> 00:26:01,962
DID YOU REALLY SHOW YOUR TITS
TO ANYONE WHO ASKED?
566
00:26:01,964 --> 00:26:04,264
-HONEY, WE SHOULD GO.
-WHA-- WHA-- HANG-- HANG ON.
567
00:26:04,266 --> 00:26:06,299
I HEARD THAT YOU STUCK A FINGER
IN THE DEAN'S DICK.
568
00:26:06,301 --> 00:26:08,334
DID YOU REALLY BURN DOWN
THE TACO BELL?
569
00:26:08,336 --> 00:26:10,102
I HEARD THAT YOU FUCKED
ANTHONY HOPKINS.
570
00:26:10,104 --> 00:26:12,471
I HEARD THAT,
IF PEOPLE BOP YOU ON YOUR HEAD,
571
00:26:12,473 --> 00:26:14,606
GOLD COINS
COME OUT OF YOUR BUTT.
572
00:26:14,608 --> 00:26:16,507
OKAY, LADIES. UH...
WHAT?!
573
00:26:17,643 --> 00:26:19,309
I THINK I KNOW MY WIFE
PRETTY WELL,
574
00:26:19,311 --> 00:26:21,445
AND SHE WOULDN'T HAVE DONE
ANY OF THOSE THINGS.
575
00:26:21,447 --> 00:26:22,913
BUT YOU KNOW WHAT?
576
00:26:22,915 --> 00:26:24,681
WHAT'S IMPORTANT IS
NOT WHETHER I DID THEM
577
00:26:24,683 --> 00:26:25,782
OR I DIDN'T DO THEM.
578
00:26:25,784 --> 00:26:27,450
WHAT'S IMPORTANT IS
579
00:26:27,452 --> 00:26:29,518
THAT YOU GUYS ARE IDOLIZING
VERY BAD BEHAVIOR HERE.
580
00:26:29,520 --> 00:26:30,919
UH, EW.
581
00:26:30,921 --> 00:26:32,353
YOU DON'T SOUND LIKE
DEBBIE DO-ANYTHING.
582
00:26:32,355 --> 00:26:33,954
I HAD A FEELING
SHE WAS ALL HYPE.
583
00:26:33,956 --> 00:26:36,389
BET SHE DIDN'T EVEN COME UP
WITH THE CHUG RUN.
584
00:26:36,391 --> 00:26:38,090
HEY! WAIT A MIN--
EXCUSE ME.
585
00:26:38,092 --> 00:26:41,460
I DID COME UP WITH THE CHUG RUN,
ALL RIGHT?
586
00:26:41,462 --> 00:26:42,727
AND I RAN IT.
587
00:26:42,729 --> 00:26:44,128
SURE YOU DID.
NO, I DID.
588
00:26:44,130 --> 00:26:46,063
IN 16 SECONDS, OKAY?
OKAY, HON.
589
00:26:46,065 --> 00:26:47,464
PROVE IT.
590
00:26:47,466 --> 00:26:49,199
SHE CAN'T DO IT NOW.
SHE'S OLD.
591
00:26:49,201 --> 00:26:50,433
EXCUSE ME, GIRL?
592
00:26:50,435 --> 00:26:51,867
I DIDN'T MEAN IT
LIKE THAT.
593
00:26:51,869 --> 00:26:53,235
I JUST MEAN...
YOU'RE OLD.
594
00:26:55,472 --> 00:26:58,873
OH, OH, YEAH!
595
00:26:58,875 --> 00:27:01,575
NEVER HEARD THAT LAUGH BEFORE.
I DON'T LIKE IT.
596
00:27:01,577 --> 00:27:02,742
HOLD MY BAG. UNH-UNH.
597
00:27:02,744 --> 00:27:04,777
WHY? I'M NOT --
YOU'RE NOT --
598
00:27:04,779 --> 00:27:06,245
YOU'RE NOT ACTUALLY
GOING ON THIS THING.
YES, I AM.
599
00:27:06,247 --> 00:27:07,980
THIS CHUG RUN RAISED
600
00:27:07,982 --> 00:27:09,982
THOUSANDS OF DOLLARS
FOR CHARITY, ALL RIGHT?
601
00:27:09,984 --> 00:27:12,417
NOW, I MIGHT NOT HAVE
GOTTEN GOOD GRADES
WHILE I WAS HERE.
602
00:27:12,419 --> 00:27:14,919
BUT AT LEAST I DID SOMETHING.
YEAH, IT SOUNDS LIKE
YOU DID A LOT.
603
00:27:14,921 --> 00:27:16,120
YOU STUCK YOUR FINGER
IN THE DEAN'S PENIS.
604
00:27:16,122 --> 00:27:17,955
YOU KNOW, HONEY,
IT'S NOT IMPORTANT
605
00:27:17,957 --> 00:27:18,989
WHAT I STUCK MY FINGER IN AND
WHAT I BURNT DOWN, ALL RIGHT?
606
00:27:18,991 --> 00:27:20,657
WHAT IS IMPORTANT RIGHT NOW
607
00:27:20,659 --> 00:27:22,291
IS THAT THESE FUCKIN' BITCHES
ARE DISRESPECTING ME,
608
00:27:22,293 --> 00:27:24,326
AND THAT AIN'T RIGHT, OKAY?
"BITCHES"?
609
00:27:25,227 --> 00:27:26,627
BRING IT ON.
610
00:27:28,062 --> 00:27:30,396
NO ONE'S CALLING ME OLD.
FUCK YOU.
611
00:27:30,398 --> 00:27:31,663
ALL RIGHT, BOOBS, PITCHER!
LET'S GO.
612
00:27:31,665 --> 00:27:33,331
COME ON, COME ON, COME ON.
613
00:27:38,837 --> 00:27:41,737
TRI-PI, MOTHERFUCKERS!
614
00:27:56,316 --> 00:27:58,316
OH, JESUS CHRIST.
615
00:28:07,025 --> 00:28:09,492
THREE! TWO! ONE!
616
00:28:16,199 --> 00:28:17,865
OH, HONEY.
617
00:28:31,209 --> 00:28:32,676
WHAT'S MOM DOING?
618
00:28:32,678 --> 00:28:35,545
SHE'S, UH, TEACHING
THESE BITCHES A-A LESSON.
619
00:28:46,722 --> 00:28:49,889
THIS IS THE BEST THING
I'VE EVER SEEN.
620
00:28:52,058 --> 00:28:55,526
GO! GO! GO!
621
00:28:59,031 --> 00:29:02,032
WHY IS SHE PUKING SO MUCH?
622
00:29:02,034 --> 00:29:03,833
IT'S FOR ASSBURGERS.
623
00:29:17,045 --> 00:29:20,046
TRI-PI, MOTHERFUCKERS!
624
00:29:32,892 --> 00:29:35,058
MOM, YOU SHOULD TRY
AND STAY HYDRATED.
625
00:29:36,760 --> 00:29:39,627
WHAT?
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
626
00:29:41,763 --> 00:29:43,163
HOW 'BOUT SOME TUNES?
627
00:29:46,267 --> 00:29:48,367
OH, MY GOD.
I CAN'T BELIEVE IT.
628
00:29:48,369 --> 00:29:50,335
I LOVE THIS SONG!
629
00:29:50,337 --> 00:29:53,204
GUYS, IT'S SEAL!
630
00:29:53,206 --> 00:29:55,906
EVERYBODY SING IT WITH ME.
631
00:30:01,379 --> 00:30:02,378
COME ON, GUYS.
632
00:30:08,185 --> 00:30:09,284
DEB?
633
00:30:14,423 --> 00:30:15,588
GUYS? NO?
634
00:30:20,293 --> 00:30:22,393
IS THIS A MAN
OR A WOMAN SINGING?
635
00:30:24,630 --> 00:30:26,463
AND THE COOLEST MAN EVER!
HE OVERCAME LUPUS!
636
00:30:38,142 --> 00:30:39,741
"BATMAN FOREVER"?
637
00:30:51,653 --> 00:30:53,052
HE'S COME BACK TO KILL US.
638
00:30:55,122 --> 00:30:56,387
GUN IT, RUSS!
GUNNING IT!
639
00:30:59,759 --> 00:31:02,126
YOU GOTTA GO FASTER, DAD!
GO FASTER!
640
00:31:02,128 --> 00:31:03,327
THE PRANCER DOESN'T GO
ANY FASTER!
641
00:31:03,329 --> 00:31:04,895
OKAY, WELL,
WHAT ARE WE GONNA DO?!
642
00:31:04,897 --> 00:31:06,630
LET ME SEE -- MAYBE IF I PRESS
THIS RABBIT BUTTON,
643
00:31:06,632 --> 00:31:07,564
IT'LL, LIKE, GIVE IT
A BOOST OR SOMETHING.
644
00:31:07,566 --> 00:31:08,598
YES. TRY IT!
645
00:31:12,436 --> 00:31:14,103
WHY WOULD THERE BE A BUTTON
FOR THAT?
646
00:31:14,105 --> 00:31:15,137
AND WHY IS IT A RABBIT?!
647
00:31:15,139 --> 00:31:16,938
OKAY. UM...
ROCKET!
648
00:31:16,940 --> 00:31:18,506
ROCKET.
HERE YOU GO. TRY THAT!
YES.
649
00:31:18,508 --> 00:31:20,341
-WHAT?
-WHAT?
650
00:31:20,343 --> 00:31:21,342
-WHAT'S HAPPENING?
-WHY AM I SWIVELING?
I'M SWIVELING!
651
00:31:21,344 --> 00:31:22,609
I DON'T KNOW!
I DON'T KNOW!
652
00:31:22,611 --> 00:31:24,444
GRAB THE WHEEL!
GRAB THE WHEEL!
653
00:31:24,446 --> 00:31:25,912
-HIT THE BRAKE!
HIT THE GAS! HIT THE GAS!
-OKAY, I'M --
654
00:31:29,615 --> 00:31:31,415
I DON'T WANNA DIE!
655
00:31:35,119 --> 00:31:38,354
OKAY, I GOT THE WHEEL!
I GOT THE WHEEL!
OKAY! OKAY!
656
00:31:38,356 --> 00:31:40,489
OKAY, WHAT ARE WE GONNA DO?
657
00:31:40,491 --> 00:31:42,791
I HAVE AN IDEA.
WHAT?
658
00:31:42,793 --> 00:31:44,425
HANDBRAKE TURN.
WHAT?
659
00:31:44,427 --> 00:31:46,160
I PULL THE WHEEL TO THE LEFT,
YANK THE HANDBRAKE,
660
00:31:46,162 --> 00:31:48,428
WE DO A 180, CROSS THE MEDIAN,
DRIVE RIGHT PAST HIM.
661
00:31:48,430 --> 00:31:49,629
YOU KNOW
HOW TO DO THAT, DAD?
662
00:31:49,631 --> 00:31:51,263
IF VIN DIESEL CAN DO IT,
SO CAN I.
663
00:31:51,265 --> 00:31:52,797
WHY ARE YOU AS GOOD
AS VIN DIESEL?
664
00:31:52,799 --> 00:31:54,365
HANG ON!
665
00:32:05,175 --> 00:32:07,508
THAT'S NOT
WHAT I WAS TRYING TO DO.
666
00:32:07,510 --> 00:32:10,043
EVERYBODY OKAY?
OH, SHIT!
667
00:32:20,218 --> 00:32:21,317
GO, DAD! DAD! DAD!
GO! GO!
668
00:32:21,319 --> 00:32:23,252
OH, MY GOD.
OH, GOD!
669
00:32:34,029 --> 00:32:35,529
WHOA!
670
00:32:42,503 --> 00:32:44,237
OH, SHIT!
671
00:32:44,239 --> 00:32:45,638
GODDAMN IT.
672
00:32:54,346 --> 00:32:57,047
ALL RIGHT, BOYS.
THIS IS YOU.
673
00:32:57,049 --> 00:32:58,048
I CALL BOTH BEDS!
674
00:32:58,050 --> 00:32:59,749
YOU GET ONE BED.
675
00:32:59,751 --> 00:33:02,084
IF YOU GUYS NEED ANYTHING,
MOM AND I ARE RIGHT NEXT DOOR.
676
00:33:02,086 --> 00:33:03,819
OH, I THINK I SAW A HOT TUB,
DAD.
677
00:33:03,821 --> 00:33:05,320
IS IT OKAY
IF I TAKE A SOAK?
678
00:33:05,322 --> 00:33:07,755
YEAH.
YEAH, SURE.
679
00:33:07,757 --> 00:33:10,224
BUT IF ANYONE TRIES
TO SHOVE YOU IN THEIR CAR,
680
00:33:10,226 --> 00:33:12,359
YOU GIVE 'EM A GOOD SCRATCH
LIKE I SHOWED YA.
681
00:33:12,361 --> 00:33:14,027
I WILL.
ALL RIGHT. ATTABOY.
682
00:33:14,029 --> 00:33:16,329
THANKS.
683
00:33:16,331 --> 00:33:19,265
SO...
HOW COME YOU NEVER TOLD ME
684
00:33:19,267 --> 00:33:22,868
ABOUT THE WHOLE
DEBBIE DO-ANYTHING THING?
685
00:33:22,870 --> 00:33:25,103
COME ON,
THAT WAS SO LONG AGO.
686
00:33:25,105 --> 00:33:27,705
YEAH, BUT IT'S PART
OF WHO YOU ARE AND...
687
00:33:27,707 --> 00:33:29,573
I WANNA KNOW
ALL ABOUT YOU.
688
00:33:29,575 --> 00:33:33,043
ALL RIGHT. WELL, THAT'S FAIR.
WHAT DO YOU WANNA KNOW?
689
00:33:33,045 --> 00:33:36,846
HOW MANY GUYS
DID YOU SLEEP WITH BEFORE ME?
OH, NO-NO-NO-NO-NO.
690
00:33:36,848 --> 00:33:38,815
NO-NO-NO-NO-NO.
AH, COME ON.
691
00:33:38,817 --> 00:33:40,883
COME ON.
THAT'S NOT IMPORTANT.
692
00:33:40,885 --> 00:33:42,517
WELL, NO, I KNOW.
BUT I'M JUST--
693
00:33:42,519 --> 00:33:43,551
YOU REALLY NEED TO KNOW?
694
00:33:43,553 --> 00:33:44,718
IT JUST...
695
00:33:44,720 --> 00:33:46,286
OH, OKAY.
I'M JUST CURIOUS.
696
00:33:46,288 --> 00:33:47,353
OKAY, OKAY.
697
00:33:47,355 --> 00:33:50,254
UM...LET'S SEE.
698
00:33:51,389 --> 00:33:53,523
HMM.
699
00:33:53,525 --> 00:33:57,293
AND THEN...UM...
700
00:33:57,295 --> 00:33:58,827
KINDA TAKIN' YOU
A LITTLE WHILE.
701
00:33:58,829 --> 00:34:02,363
OKAY, SO, UH, AROUND...
TH--
702
00:34:02,365 --> 00:34:04,331
THREE.
THREE.
703
00:34:04,333 --> 00:34:06,333
THAT'S ACTUALLY REASSURING,
704
00:34:06,335 --> 00:34:07,867
'CAUSE IT'S THE SAME AS ME.
705
00:34:07,869 --> 00:34:10,703
NO.
DIDN'T SAY THREE.
706
00:34:10,705 --> 00:34:13,172
13. 13?
707
00:34:13,174 --> 00:34:14,339
NOPE.
708
00:34:14,341 --> 00:34:15,473
AND IT'S NOT THREE?
709
00:34:15,475 --> 00:34:16,874
IT'S AROUND --
IT'S AROUND 30.
710
00:34:16,876 --> 00:34:18,876
30! HOO!
711
00:34:18,878 --> 00:34:20,244
WOW! HOLY COW.
712
00:34:20,246 --> 00:34:23,180
SEE, NOW I FEEL LIKE
YOU'RE JUDGING ME.
713
00:34:23,182 --> 00:34:25,415
I'M JUDGING ME.
714
00:34:25,417 --> 00:34:28,384
YOUR NUMBER
IS SO MUCH HIGHER THAN MINE.
715
00:34:28,386 --> 00:34:30,686
YES, IT IS A BIG NUMBER,
BUT THAT DOESN'T MATTER.
716
00:34:30,688 --> 00:34:31,820
HONEY, IT DOESN'T MATTER.
717
00:34:31,822 --> 00:34:32,821
YOU'RE -- YOU'RE SO COOL.
718
00:34:32,823 --> 00:34:34,756
I-I-I-I FEEL LIKE A LOSER.
719
00:34:34,758 --> 00:34:36,023
YOU ARE NOT A LOSER.
720
00:34:36,025 --> 00:34:37,391
OKAY?
YEAH?
721
00:34:37,393 --> 00:34:39,860
'CAUSE, UH,
I HAD TO WORK PRETTY HARD
722
00:34:39,862 --> 00:34:41,394
JUST TO GET THOSE THREE.
723
00:34:42,764 --> 00:34:44,163
HAD TO TAKE CARE
OF JENNY'S GRANDFATHER
724
00:34:44,165 --> 00:34:46,265
FOR MONTHS
BEFORE SHE SLEPT WITH ME.
725
00:34:46,267 --> 00:34:47,833
AND HE WAS RACIST.
726
00:34:47,835 --> 00:34:49,067
PLEASE DON'T BASE IT ON ME.
727
00:34:49,069 --> 00:34:50,768
I WAS, LIKE,
CRAZY BACK THEN.
728
00:34:50,770 --> 00:34:54,404
I WAS COMPLETELY IMMATURE
AND ACTING OUT
729
00:34:54,406 --> 00:34:57,340
AND JUST REALLY, LIKE,
FREE WITH MY BODY,
730
00:34:57,342 --> 00:34:59,008
AND THAT'S JUST NOT
WHO I AM ANYMORE.
731
00:34:59,010 --> 00:35:01,210
THAT'S NOT WHO WE ARE.
732
00:35:01,212 --> 00:35:03,912
WELL...WE'RE PRETTY FREE
WITH OUR BODIES.
733
00:35:03,914 --> 00:35:08,549
BUT, Y-YOU HAVE TO ADMIT
I-I FEEL LIKE WE'VE GOTTEN...
734
00:35:08,551 --> 00:35:12,952
LIKE, LESS FREE
WITH OUR BODIES.
735
00:35:12,954 --> 00:35:15,354
BUT WE HAVE SEX EVERY WEEK
WITH OUR BODIES.
736
00:35:15,356 --> 00:35:20,125
WE DO. BUT, I MEAN, IT'S GOTTEN
A LITTLE ROUTINE, BABE.
737
00:35:20,127 --> 00:35:21,593
YOU KNOW, YOU ALWAYS
738
00:35:21,595 --> 00:35:23,094
ARE LIGHTING
THAT SAME YANKEE CANDLE...
739
00:35:23,096 --> 00:35:24,562
...AND EVERYTHING.
740
00:35:24,564 --> 00:35:25,629
AND I DON'T KNOW,
741
00:35:25,631 --> 00:35:27,063
IT MIGHT BE NICE
742
00:35:27,065 --> 00:35:29,899
TO MIX IT UP A LITTLE BIT
EVERY ONCE IN A WHILE.
743
00:35:29,901 --> 00:35:31,233
OKAY?
NO BIG DEAL.
744
00:35:31,235 --> 00:35:33,268
I-I-I'M GONNA GO TAKE A SHOWER.
745
00:35:33,270 --> 00:35:35,303
OKAY?
I'M GONNA TAKE ONE
WITH YOU.
746
00:35:35,305 --> 00:35:36,904
HMM?
747
00:35:36,906 --> 00:35:39,306
UH...
WE'LL HAVE SEX IN IT.
748
00:35:39,308 --> 00:35:41,074
YEAH.
IN THE SHOWER.
749
00:35:41,076 --> 00:35:44,043
HOW'S THAT FOR GETTIN' FREE
WITH OUR BODIES,
750
00:35:44,045 --> 00:35:45,310
DEBBIE DO-ANYTHING?
751
00:35:45,312 --> 00:35:47,078
I LIKE THAT.
YEAH.
752
00:35:47,080 --> 00:35:49,213
OH, RUSS.
753
00:35:51,217 --> 00:35:53,116
JUST BE CAREFUL
NOT TO DROP THE SOAP.
754
00:35:53,118 --> 00:35:54,584
OH, I WON'T.
755
00:35:56,955 --> 00:35:58,487
WHAT?
756
00:35:58,489 --> 00:36:00,422
THIS IS FUN AND DIFFERENT.
757
00:36:00,424 --> 00:36:02,257
I KNOW.
IT IS.
758
00:36:02,259 --> 00:36:04,726
YOU ARE SO CUTE WHEN YOU GET
EXCITED ABOUT STUFF.
759
00:36:04,728 --> 00:36:08,896
MM. MM.
YOU'RE, LIKE, SO CUTE ALWAYS.
760
00:36:08,898 --> 00:36:10,564
AWW. HONEY.
761
00:36:10,566 --> 00:36:12,499
OH.
762
00:36:13,567 --> 00:36:14,934
AAH!
OH, MY-- HOLY SHIT!
763
00:36:14,936 --> 00:36:16,435
ARE THOSE MUSHROOMS?!
764
00:36:16,437 --> 00:36:18,270
IT LOOKS LIKE SOMEBODY
BLEW THEIR HEAD OFF IN THERE.
765
00:36:18,272 --> 00:36:19,571
OH, GOD.
766
00:36:19,573 --> 00:36:20,572
GOD.
767
00:36:20,574 --> 00:36:22,106
SO, SHOULD WE, UH...
768
00:36:22,108 --> 00:36:24,041
SHOULD WE GET IN OR...
769
00:36:24,942 --> 00:36:26,943
NO, RIGHT?
770
00:36:26,945 --> 00:36:29,578
YEAH. I'M GONNA SEE IF THERE'S
SOMETHIN' TO CLEAN THAT WITH.
771
00:36:29,580 --> 00:36:30,812
MM.
772
00:36:30,814 --> 00:36:33,080
MAYBE THE HOUSEKEEPING
LEFT A...
773
00:36:33,082 --> 00:36:35,916
OH. WELL,
HERE'S A BRILLO PAD.
774
00:36:35,918 --> 00:36:37,617
I'LL JUST --
775
00:36:37,619 --> 00:36:39,251
RUSS.
YEAH.
776
00:36:39,253 --> 00:36:40,485
THAT'S NOT A BRILLO PAD.
777
00:36:40,487 --> 00:36:41,986
IT'S A BALL OF PUBIC HAIR.
778
00:36:41,988 --> 00:36:44,421
OH! AAH!
779
00:36:44,423 --> 00:36:46,256
OH, MY GOSH.
THERE'S SO MUCH OF IT.
780
00:36:46,258 --> 00:36:49,792
WHO HAS THAT MUCH PUBIC HAIR?!
IT'S NOT EVEN POSSIBLE.
781
00:36:49,794 --> 00:36:52,161
NO, NOT ONE PERSON.
THAT'S ALL DIFFERENT COLORS.
782
00:36:53,998 --> 00:36:56,498
THAT'S FROM, LIKE,
30 DIFFERENT GUYS.
783
00:36:56,500 --> 00:36:57,866
OH, SHUT UP, RUSS.
784
00:36:57,868 --> 00:37:00,468
NO.
I-I'M SORRY.
785
00:37:26,359 --> 00:37:28,659
YOU'RE PRETTY GOOD.
OH!
786
00:37:28,661 --> 00:37:30,327
GEEZ!
787
00:37:30,329 --> 00:37:32,395
SORRY.
788
00:37:32,397 --> 00:37:34,797
I, UH
I DIDN'T MEAN TO SCARE YOU.
789
00:37:36,299 --> 00:37:37,299
HI.
790
00:37:37,301 --> 00:37:38,300
HI.
791
00:37:38,302 --> 00:37:39,367
YOU WERE IN THE JEEP.
792
00:37:39,369 --> 00:37:41,736
AND YOU WERE
IN THAT PLASTIC BAG.
793
00:37:41,738 --> 00:37:44,538
THAT WAS MY STUPID BROTHER.
794
00:37:44,540 --> 00:37:46,673
GOTCHA.
BIG BROTHERS SUCK.
795
00:37:46,675 --> 00:37:50,342
OH, NO.
YEAH, BIG.
796
00:37:50,344 --> 00:37:51,576
I'M ADENA.
797
00:37:51,578 --> 00:37:53,477
JAMES.
798
00:37:53,479 --> 00:37:55,579
-I HAVE A PENIS.
-WHAT?
799
00:37:55,581 --> 00:37:57,314
IT'S ON YOUR GUITAR.
800
00:37:57,316 --> 00:37:58,648
- OH.
801
00:37:58,650 --> 00:37:59,849
SAME BROTHER.
802
00:37:59,851 --> 00:38:01,717
-WHAT AN ASSHOLE.
-YEAH.
803
00:38:02,653 --> 00:38:04,019
YOU WANNA GO IN?
804
00:38:04,021 --> 00:38:06,821
ABSOLUTELY.
805
00:38:06,823 --> 00:38:08,823
WELL, WHAT HAVE WE HERE?
806
00:38:08,825 --> 00:38:11,192
LITTLE ROMEO AND JULIET
SITUATION?
807
00:38:12,762 --> 00:38:15,529
MY NAME'S RUSS.
PLEASED TO MEET YOU BOTH.
808
00:38:15,531 --> 00:38:20,200
I'M JUST A STRANGER,
PASSIN' THROUGH TOWN.
809
00:38:20,202 --> 00:38:21,668
BUT I COULDN'T HELP NOTICING
810
00:38:21,670 --> 00:38:23,069
HOW INCREDIBLY HANDSOME
THIS YOUNG MAN IS.
811
00:38:23,071 --> 00:38:25,838
WHAT'S YOUR STORY?
YOU GOT A GIRLFRIEND?
812
00:38:25,840 --> 00:38:28,006
-NO.
-WHAT?
813
00:38:28,008 --> 00:38:30,241
NO GIRLFRIEND?
814
00:38:30,243 --> 00:38:32,610
CUTE BOY LIKE THAT?
SOMEBODY'S GONNA SNATCH YOU UP.
815
00:38:32,612 --> 00:38:34,578
-DO YOU WANT ME
TO CALL THE COPS?
-NO.
816
00:38:34,580 --> 00:38:38,414
AND HE PLAYS GUITAR?
DREAM BOY!
817
00:38:38,416 --> 00:38:39,681
-MAKE A MUSCLE.
-I'D...
818
00:38:39,683 --> 00:38:40,948
-DO IT!
-...RATHER NOT.
819
00:38:40,950 --> 00:38:42,849
TAKE YOUR SHIRT OFF.
MAKE A MUSCLE.
820
00:38:42,851 --> 00:38:44,784
-I REALLY DON'T WANT TO.
-DON'T BE SHY.
821
00:38:44,786 --> 00:38:46,752
-SHOW US
WHAT YOU'RE WORKIN' WITH.
-ALL RIGHT.
822
00:38:46,754 --> 00:38:49,554
UM, I SHOULD GO.
823
00:38:49,556 --> 00:38:51,222
UM...
824
00:38:51,224 --> 00:38:52,890
are you sure
that you'll be okay?
825
00:38:52,892 --> 00:38:54,625
I THINK SO.
826
00:38:54,627 --> 00:38:56,927
OKAY.
827
00:38:59,130 --> 00:39:00,597
BYE.
828
00:39:00,599 --> 00:39:01,898
DANG IT.
829
00:39:01,900 --> 00:39:04,467
DAD, WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT?
830
00:39:04,469 --> 00:39:06,769
SAW YA TALKIN' TO HER.
FIGURED YOU COULD USE A WINGMAN.
831
00:39:06,771 --> 00:39:08,537
I DIDN'T NEED A WINGMAN.
832
00:39:08,539 --> 00:39:09,905
WELL...
833
00:39:09,907 --> 00:39:11,706
LOOKS LIKE YA DID.
SHE LEFT.
834
00:39:11,708 --> 00:39:13,307
THAT'S 'CAUSE
YOU WERE APPROACHING --
YOU KNOW, JAMES,
835
00:39:13,309 --> 00:39:15,876
WHEN I WAS YOUR AGE,
GRANDPA CLARK SAT ME DOWN,
836
00:39:15,878 --> 00:39:18,245
AND WE HAD A LITTLE CHAT.
837
00:39:19,615 --> 00:39:21,214
SEEING YOU WITH THAT GIRL
MADE ME REALIZE
838
00:39:21,216 --> 00:39:23,649
THAT WE HAVEN'T
HAD THAT CHAT YET.
839
00:39:23,651 --> 00:39:25,484
-WE DON'T NEED THAT CHAT.
-YEAH?
840
00:39:25,486 --> 00:39:27,452
NO.
COME ON.
I KNOW IT'S EMBARRASSING.
841
00:39:27,454 --> 00:39:29,387
BUT IT'D BE A LOT
MORE EMBARRASSING
842
00:39:29,389 --> 00:39:31,288
IF YOU FOUND YOURSELF
TUMMY TO TUMMY
843
00:39:31,290 --> 00:39:32,622
WITH A LADY FRIEND,
844
00:39:32,624 --> 00:39:33,823
AND YOU DIDN'T KNOW
WHAT GOES WHERE.
845
00:39:33,825 --> 00:39:35,124
-I KNOW WHAT GOES WHERE.
-YOU DO?
846
00:39:35,126 --> 00:39:36,125
-UH-HUH.
-YA SURE?
847
00:39:36,127 --> 00:39:37,659
YEP.
848
00:39:37,661 --> 00:39:39,727
ALL RIGHT.
ALL RIGHT.
849
00:39:39,729 --> 00:39:41,261
WELL,
I JUST WANT YOU TO KNOW
850
00:39:41,263 --> 00:39:42,929
I'M HERE
TO ANSWER ANY QUESTIONS
851
00:39:42,931 --> 00:39:44,764
YOU MIGHT HAVE
ABOUT THAT STUFF,
852
00:39:44,766 --> 00:39:47,500
NO MATTER HOW UNCOMFORTABLE
IT SEEMS.
853
00:39:49,436 --> 00:39:51,003
YEAH, OKAY.
854
00:39:51,005 --> 00:39:52,671
-YEAH, RIGHT. HERE IT COMES.
-YEAH. ALL RIGHT.
855
00:39:52,673 --> 00:39:54,806
- OKAY.
856
00:39:54,808 --> 00:39:57,175
UH, THERE WERE
SOME KIDS AT SCHOOL
857
00:39:57,177 --> 00:40:00,244
WHO WERE TALKING
ABOUT RIM JOBS.
858
00:40:00,246 --> 00:40:02,079
-MM.
-SO, WHAT'S THAT?
859
00:40:02,081 --> 00:40:03,947
WHAT'S A RIM JOB?
860
00:40:03,949 --> 00:40:05,949
-RIM JOBS.
-YEAH.
861
00:40:05,951 --> 00:40:08,117
HMM.
IS THAT R-I-M?
862
00:40:08,119 --> 00:40:09,384
MM-HMM.
863
00:40:10,452 --> 00:40:11,785
RIM JOB.
COUNTRY OF ORIGIN.
864
00:40:11,787 --> 00:40:13,119
I DON'T KNOW.
865
00:40:13,121 --> 00:40:14,820
UM, AMERICA.
866
00:40:14,822 --> 00:40:17,656
CAN I HEAR IT
IN A SENTENCE?
867
00:40:17,658 --> 00:40:19,024
"WHAT'S A RIM JOB, DAD?"
868
00:40:19,026 --> 00:40:20,492
OH.
869
00:40:21,460 --> 00:40:23,928
WELL, RIM JOB.
870
00:40:23,930 --> 00:40:25,296
I WOULD GUESS A RIM JOB IS
871
00:40:25,298 --> 00:40:27,598
WHEN YOU KISS SOMEONE
WITH YOUR MOUTH CLOSED.
872
00:40:27,600 --> 00:40:30,801
RIGHT? SO YOU'RE ONLY USING
THE RIM OF YOUR MOUTH.
873
00:40:30,803 --> 00:40:32,602
-THAT'S IT?
-SURE.
874
00:40:32,604 --> 00:40:35,771
IT -- IT FELT LIKE
IT WAS SOMETHING WAY DIRTIER.
875
00:40:35,773 --> 00:40:38,640
NO, I MEAN,
WHAT ELSE COULD IT BE?
876
00:40:38,642 --> 00:40:39,874
ANY OTHER QUESTIONS?
877
00:40:39,876 --> 00:40:41,642
I GUESS NOT.
878
00:40:41,644 --> 00:40:44,811
GOOD TALK, JAMES.
879
00:40:44,813 --> 00:40:47,380
NOW,
I HOPE YOU'RE NOT TOO OLD
880
00:40:47,382 --> 00:40:50,983
TO LET YOUR DAD GIVE YOU
A GOOD-NIGHT RIM JOB.
881
00:42:05,150 --> 00:42:07,817
LOOKS LIKE WE MIGHT GET
TO AUNT AUDREY'S BEFORE DINNER.
882
00:42:07,819 --> 00:42:09,652
OH, WILL UNCLE STONE
BE THERE?
883
00:42:09,654 --> 00:42:11,286
YEAH,
I SUPPOSE HE WILL.
884
00:42:11,288 --> 00:42:12,654
UNCLE STONE IS COOL.
885
00:42:12,656 --> 00:42:14,522
YOU HAVE TO BE COOL
TO BE A CELEBRITY.
886
00:42:15,791 --> 00:42:17,857
HE'S NOT EXACTLY A CELEBRITY.
887
00:42:17,859 --> 00:42:19,859
I MEAN, HE'S A LOCAL WEATHERMAN.
THAT'S ALL.
888
00:42:19,861 --> 00:42:21,727
A-ACTUALLY, AUDREY SAID
889
00:42:21,729 --> 00:42:23,161
THAT THE NETWORKS
ARE INTERESTED IN HIM.
890
00:42:23,163 --> 00:42:24,362
-YEAH?
-OH, YEAH.
891
00:42:24,364 --> 00:42:25,629
ALL RIGHT.
WELL, GOOD FOR HIM.
892
00:42:25,631 --> 00:42:27,063
MOM,
DO YOU THINK UNCLE STONE
893
00:42:27,065 --> 00:42:28,330
WILL LET ME RIDE
HIS HORSE?
894
00:42:28,332 --> 00:42:30,065
I DON'T SEE WHY NOT.
895
00:42:30,067 --> 00:42:31,666
-DO YOU THINK
I CAN SHOOT HIS GUNS?
-NO, YOU CANNOT.
896
00:42:31,668 --> 00:42:33,200
TOO BAD.
897
00:42:33,202 --> 00:42:36,035
I WOULD'VE SHOT YOU
RIGHT OFF THAT FUCKIN' HORSE.
898
00:42:38,038 --> 00:42:39,571
YOU KNOW, I NEVER
WOULD'VE IMAGINED MY SISTER
899
00:42:39,573 --> 00:42:41,306
MARRYING SUCH A CONSERVATIVE.
900
00:42:41,308 --> 00:42:42,740
OH, YEAH, BUT JUST BECAUSE
901
00:42:42,742 --> 00:42:45,008
STONE'S POLITICAL BELIEFS
ARE DIFFERENT THAN OURS
902
00:42:45,010 --> 00:42:46,075
DOESN'T MEAN
HE'S NOT GOOD-LOOKING.
903
00:42:46,077 --> 00:42:49,977
I -- UM...
A GOOD PERSON.
904
00:42:51,180 --> 00:42:52,479
YA SAID IT!
905
00:42:52,481 --> 00:42:54,180
-UH, HONEY --
-HEY, LOOK AT THAT!
906
00:42:54,182 --> 00:42:57,383
HOT SPRINGS UP AHEAD.
WE'VE ALWAYS WANTED TO DO THAT.
907
00:42:57,385 --> 00:42:59,251
OH, HONEY, WE DON'T
WANNA BE LATE TO AUDREY'S.
908
00:42:59,253 --> 00:43:01,886
SO WE'RE A FEW MINUTES
LATE.
909
00:43:01,888 --> 00:43:03,520
WE'RE ON VACATION.
RIGHT?
910
00:43:03,522 --> 00:43:05,321
COME ON.
LET'S HAVE SOME FUN.
911
00:43:06,389 --> 00:43:07,422
OKAY.
912
00:43:14,763 --> 00:43:17,264
-OH, LOOK AT THE LINE.
-THIS IS GONNA TAKE FOREVER.
913
00:43:17,266 --> 00:43:18,665
COME ON, GUYS.
914
00:43:18,667 --> 00:43:20,700
HOW OFTEN DO WE GET TO SOAK
IN HOT WATER?
915
00:43:20,702 --> 00:43:22,568
EVERY TIME
WE TAKE A BATH.
916
00:43:22,570 --> 00:43:25,337
NO. THIS IS DIFFERENT.
'KAY, THIS IS NATURAL.
917
00:43:25,339 --> 00:43:27,772
THIS WATER WAS HEATED
IN MOTHER NATURE'S BOWELS.
918
00:43:27,774 --> 00:43:29,607
OH, GROSS.
919
00:43:29,609 --> 00:43:32,443
THERE'S GOTTA BE
ANOTHER WAY IN.
920
00:43:32,445 --> 00:43:33,911
I'M GONNA ASK
THIS GENTLEMAN.
921
00:43:33,913 --> 00:43:35,612
I BET HE'D KNOW.
922
00:43:35,614 --> 00:43:36,946
EXCUSE ME, SIR.
923
00:43:36,948 --> 00:43:38,414
-HI THERE.
-HEY. HI.
924
00:43:38,416 --> 00:43:40,215
HEY, WE WERE WONDERING.
925
00:43:40,217 --> 00:43:42,784
IS THERE ANOTHER ENTRANCE
TO THE HOT SPRINGS?
926
00:43:42,786 --> 00:43:45,219
LIKE, A SECRET ENTRANCE
THE LOCALS USE?
927
00:43:45,221 --> 00:43:47,287
LINE CAN GET PRETTY LONG
THIS TIME OF YEAR, HUH?
928
00:43:47,289 --> 00:43:49,222
YEAH.
YEAH, IT SURE CAN.
929
00:43:49,224 --> 00:43:50,957
YEAH, I'LL TELL YOU
WHAT Y'ALL DO.
930
00:43:50,959 --> 00:43:53,626
UH, CAN YOU SEE THAT DIRT ROAD?
THAT PATH THERE ON THE LEFT?
931
00:43:53,628 --> 00:43:55,060
YEAH.
932
00:43:55,062 --> 00:43:57,429
IF YOU JUST FOLLOW THAT
ALL THE WAY UP,
933
00:43:57,431 --> 00:43:59,030
THAT'LL TAKE YOU
TO THE HOT SPRINGS.
934
00:43:59,032 --> 00:44:01,232
ALL RIGHT. PERFECT.
THANK YOU.
935
00:44:01,234 --> 00:44:02,633
OH, NO, NO.
YOU BET.
936
00:44:02,635 --> 00:44:04,234
Y'ALL HAVE A GOOD TIME.
937
00:44:04,236 --> 00:44:05,602
OH, WILL DO!
938
00:44:06,771 --> 00:44:08,103
HEY, WHAT'S YOUR
PET RAT'S NAME?
939
00:44:08,105 --> 00:44:09,471
IS MY PET WHAT?
940
00:44:09,473 --> 00:44:10,638
THE...
941
00:44:10,640 --> 00:44:11,905
WHAT THE FUCK?
942
00:44:11,907 --> 00:44:12,872
-OH!
-WHAT THE FUCK?!
943
00:44:12,874 --> 00:44:14,039
WHAT THE FUCK?
944
00:44:14,041 --> 00:44:15,440
I DON'T KNOW HIM.
945
00:44:25,950 --> 00:44:27,317
HONEY,
ARE YOU SURE ABOUT THIS?
946
00:44:27,319 --> 00:44:29,786
I MEAN, NOBODY ELSE
IS GOING THIS WAY.
947
00:44:29,788 --> 00:44:34,924
YEAH, WELL, MOST PEOPLE
THINK INSIDE THE BOX.
948
00:44:34,926 --> 00:44:37,226
BUT YOU KNOW WHO THINKS
OUTSIDE THE BOX?
949
00:44:37,228 --> 00:44:39,328
UNCLE STONE?
950
00:44:39,330 --> 00:44:42,164
ME.
YOUR FATHER.
951
00:44:46,635 --> 00:44:50,004
UM, HONEY,
I DON'T SEE ANY HOT SPRINGS.
952
00:44:50,006 --> 00:44:51,505
WELL, THE GUY SAID
953
00:44:51,507 --> 00:44:52,906
IT WAS RIGHT AT THE END
OF THIS ROAD, SO...
954
00:44:52,908 --> 00:44:54,307
WELL,
THE GUY ALSO DID NOT KNOW
955
00:44:54,309 --> 00:44:55,608
HE HAD A RAT
ON HIS SHOULDER,
956
00:44:55,610 --> 00:44:57,409
SO THERE'S THAT.
957
00:44:57,411 --> 00:44:58,510
HOLD ON.
958
00:45:07,252 --> 00:45:09,920
WOW. HONEY.
THIS IS BEAUTIFUL.
959
00:45:09,922 --> 00:45:12,289
-ISN'T IT?
-YEAH.
960
00:45:13,625 --> 00:45:15,124
ALL RIGHT, EVERYONE.
961
00:45:15,126 --> 00:45:17,359
IN YOUR BATHING SUITS.
NOW!
962
00:45:19,162 --> 00:45:23,630
LOOKS LIKE WE FOUND
OUR OWN PRIVATE HOT SPRING.
963
00:45:23,632 --> 00:45:26,032
I SAY WE CALL IT
"GRISWOLD SPRINGS."
964
00:45:27,268 --> 00:45:28,967
OH!
THE WATER'S PERFECT.
965
00:45:28,969 --> 00:45:30,868
OH, MY GOD.
IT'S SO NICE.
966
00:45:30,870 --> 00:45:32,870
WHY DOES IT SMELL LIKE
ROTTEN EGGS?
967
00:45:32,872 --> 00:45:34,137
OH, THAT'S THE SULFUR,
BUDDY.
968
00:45:34,139 --> 00:45:35,538
-YEAH.
-IT'S NATURAL.
969
00:45:35,540 --> 00:45:37,806
YEAH. AND IT'S REALLY GOOD
FOR YOU, TOO.
970
00:45:37,808 --> 00:45:40,842
ACTUALLY, THE MINERALS
THAT ARE IN THIS MUD HERE,
971
00:45:40,844 --> 00:45:42,710
THEY DRAW TOXINS
OUT OF YOUR BODY.
972
00:45:42,712 --> 00:45:44,378
-AH.
-CAN YOU BELIEVE THAT?
973
00:45:44,380 --> 00:45:45,879
COOL, RIGHT?
974
00:45:49,784 --> 00:45:51,550
OH, WOW.
975
00:45:51,552 --> 00:45:53,351
MM.
976
00:45:53,353 --> 00:45:55,553
THIS IS PERFECT.
977
00:45:55,555 --> 00:45:57,288
IT'S EXACTLY
WHAT WE NEEDED.
978
00:45:57,290 --> 00:45:59,690
OH, YEAH.
GOOD CALL, GRISWOLD.
979
00:46:01,526 --> 00:46:04,528
-OH, MAN.
-YEAH.
980
00:46:04,530 --> 00:46:05,896
OH, YEAH.
THAT'S IT.
981
00:46:05,898 --> 00:46:07,163
THAT'S IT.
982
00:46:07,165 --> 00:46:09,565
I CAN FEEL MY BODY
DETOXIFYING.
983
00:46:14,637 --> 00:46:17,639
YOU KNOW...
IT TASTES A LITTLE SHITTY,
984
00:46:17,641 --> 00:46:19,407
BUT I THINK
THAT'S PART OF IT.
985
00:46:19,409 --> 00:46:20,374
-YEAH.
-THAT'S OKAY.
986
00:46:20,376 --> 00:46:22,409
THIS IS WONDERFUL.
987
00:46:26,848 --> 00:46:29,315
THAT IS THE STUFF!
988
00:46:29,317 --> 00:46:30,482
OH.
989
00:46:30,484 --> 00:46:31,916
WHAT IS THAT, HONEY?
ON YOUR EAR.
990
00:46:31,918 --> 00:46:33,751
WHAT'S ON YOUR EAR?
991
00:46:33,753 --> 00:46:35,486
WHAT IS THAT?
992
00:46:35,488 --> 00:46:36,887
OH, IT'S AN EAR!
993
00:46:36,889 --> 00:46:37,888
OH!
994
00:46:39,591 --> 00:46:41,724
LOOK, JAMES.
FOUND A DART.
995
00:46:41,726 --> 00:46:43,192
ARE YOU CRAZY?!
996
00:46:43,194 --> 00:46:45,928
OH, MY GOD! EVERYBODY OUT
OF GRISWOLD SPRINGS!
997
00:46:45,930 --> 00:46:47,329
-GET OUT OF THE POOP!
-THAT WAS NASTY!
998
00:46:47,331 --> 00:46:50,265
ALL OVER ME!
999
00:46:50,267 --> 00:46:52,700
I DON'T LIKE
GRISWOLD SPRINGS.
1000
00:46:52,702 --> 00:46:55,035
IS THAT OUR CAR ALARM?
1001
00:46:56,938 --> 00:46:58,904
WHAT?!
1002
00:46:58,906 --> 00:47:01,039
HOW COME THAT LOCAL GUY
DIDN'T TELL US
1003
00:47:01,041 --> 00:47:03,174
THERE ARE THIEVES
IN THESE WOODS?
1004
00:47:04,276 --> 00:47:05,509
OH, RIGHT.
1005
00:47:06,410 --> 00:47:08,010
HE TOOK MY GUITAR.
1006
00:47:08,012 --> 00:47:10,045
OH, MY GOD.
HE TOOK ALL OUR MONEY, RUSS.
1007
00:47:10,047 --> 00:47:11,946
ALL RIGHT.
NOT A BEST-CASE SCENARIO.
1008
00:47:11,948 --> 00:47:15,082
BUT, HEY.
HE LEFT YOUR BOOK.
1009
00:47:15,084 --> 00:47:18,585
SO, I GUESS
WE GET THE LAST LAUGH.
1010
00:47:18,587 --> 00:47:19,919
OH, REALLY, HONEY?
1011
00:47:19,921 --> 00:47:22,354
WE'RE NAKED
AND COVERED IN HUMAN WASTE.
1012
00:47:22,356 --> 00:47:24,788
OH, COME ON, SWEETHEART.
WE DON'T KNOW THAT IT'S HUMAN.
1013
00:47:32,728 --> 00:47:34,228
THIS IS SO EMBARRASSING.
1014
00:47:34,230 --> 00:47:35,729
I FEEL LIKE
YOUR COUSIN EDDIE'S FAMILY.
1015
00:47:35,731 --> 00:47:37,363
IT'S NO BIG DEAL.
1016
00:47:37,365 --> 00:47:39,698
WE'LL JUST TELL STONE AND AUDREY
WHAT HAPPENED.
1017
00:47:39,700 --> 00:47:41,533
KIDS, REMEMBER WHAT HAPPENED?
1018
00:47:41,535 --> 00:47:44,035
WE PULLED OVER TO RESCUE A BABY
FROM A BURNING CAR
1019
00:47:44,037 --> 00:47:46,904
AND SOMEBODY STOLE ALL OF OUR
STUFF WHILE WE WERE DISTRACTED.
1020
00:47:46,906 --> 00:47:49,706
AND WHY ARE WE NAKED
AND COVERED IN FECES?
1021
00:47:49,708 --> 00:47:51,741
I DON'T REMEMBER.
1022
00:47:51,743 --> 00:47:54,110
THAT'S RIGHT.
WE DON'T REMEMBER.
1023
00:48:12,326 --> 00:48:13,459
OH, MY GOD.
1024
00:48:13,461 --> 00:48:15,260
HMM?
1025
00:48:15,262 --> 00:48:16,761
OH, COME ON.
1026
00:48:19,999 --> 00:48:21,598
-WHAT'RE WE GONNA DO?
-CAN YOU GIMME A HAND WITH THIS?
1027
00:48:21,600 --> 00:48:23,099
-YEAH. YEAH.
-PLEASE?
1028
00:48:23,101 --> 00:48:25,801
JUST -- YEAH.
1029
00:48:25,803 --> 00:48:27,770
OH, GOSH.
1030
00:48:27,772 --> 00:48:29,538
I-I CAN'T.
I CAN'T -- I CAN'T GET IT OFF.
1031
00:48:29,540 --> 00:48:31,339
-USE YOUR SPIT.
-OH, OKAY.
1032
00:48:32,942 --> 00:48:34,441
FOCUS ON THE BALLS.
1033
00:48:34,443 --> 00:48:36,576
IF YOU GUYS WANNA STOP,
THAT'D BE GOOD, TOO.
1034
00:48:38,346 --> 00:48:40,846
STAY ON THE BALLS.
I'VE GOT THE SHAFT.
1035
00:48:40,848 --> 00:48:43,381
HI, Y'ALL!
1036
00:48:43,383 --> 00:48:45,282
HEY!
OH, MY GOODNESS. HI!
1037
00:48:45,284 --> 00:48:46,850
-HI.
-WHAT HAPPENED?
1038
00:48:46,852 --> 00:48:50,720
WELL, THAT'S A --
IT'S A CRAZY STORY, UM --
1039
00:48:50,722 --> 00:48:52,555
DAD GOT SCAMMED
BY A GUY AT A PARK.
1040
00:48:52,557 --> 00:48:55,024
- KEVIN!
- SAME OLD RUSTY.
1041
00:48:55,026 --> 00:48:56,592
YOU'D BUY WATER
FROM A FAUCET.
1042
00:49:00,096 --> 00:49:02,931
ANYWAY,
YOU GUYS LOOK DISGUSTING.
1043
00:49:02,933 --> 00:49:04,565
SO, UM,
I HAVE SOME CLOTHES
1044
00:49:04,567 --> 00:49:06,033
THAT I WAS GONNA GIVE
TO THE CHURCH
1045
00:49:06,035 --> 00:49:07,567
IF YOU GUYS WANNA BORROW
SOME OF THOSE.
1046
00:49:07,569 --> 00:49:08,968
GREAT.
THANK YOU, AUDREY.
1047
00:49:08,970 --> 00:49:10,069
-COME ON INSIDE.
-THANKS.
1048
00:49:10,071 --> 00:49:11,437
ALL RIGHT.
1049
00:49:11,439 --> 00:49:13,105
BOY, Y'ALL STINK.
1050
00:49:16,808 --> 00:49:19,309
OH, I DON'T LIKE THAT.
1051
00:49:19,311 --> 00:49:22,211
MAN, THIS PLACE MAKES OUR HOUSE
LOOK LIKE SHIT.
1052
00:49:22,213 --> 00:49:24,213
WELL, KEVIN,
1053
00:49:24,215 --> 00:49:26,715
THAT'S ONLY 'CAUSE A DOLLAR
GOES MUCH FURTHER OUT HERE
1054
00:49:26,717 --> 00:49:29,050
THAN IT DOES
IN CHICAGO.
1055
00:49:29,052 --> 00:49:31,085
ESPECIALLY WHEN YOU MAKE
A LOT MORE OF 'EM.
1056
00:49:31,087 --> 00:49:32,653
--HA.
1057
00:49:32,655 --> 00:49:34,655
JUST MESSIN' WITH YA.
SHOOT!
1058
00:49:34,657 --> 00:49:37,324
YOU BOYS ARE GROWIN' FASTER
THAN A WEED UNDER A FAUCET.
1059
00:49:37,326 --> 00:49:38,658
YOU STILL WRASSLIN',
SON?
1060
00:49:38,660 --> 00:49:40,292
-UH-HUH.
-OH? WELL, COME ON.
1061
00:49:40,294 --> 00:49:42,159
SHOW ME WHAT YA GOT.
1062
00:49:45,931 --> 00:49:47,964
HEY, KEVIN.
GET OFF YOUR BROTHER, PLEASE.
1063
00:49:47,966 --> 00:49:49,832
THEY'RE JUST HAVIN' THEMSELVES
A WRASSLE.
1064
00:49:49,834 --> 00:49:50,966
IT'S WHAT BROTHERS DO.
1065
00:49:50,968 --> 00:49:53,435
HEY, OOH, LOOK AT YOU GUYS.
1066
00:49:53,437 --> 00:49:55,170
HOT DAMN.
DEBBIE GRISWOLD.
1067
00:49:55,172 --> 00:49:56,738
YOU JUST KEEP
GETTIN' PRETTIER.
1068
00:49:56,740 --> 00:49:59,173
-OH, STOP.
-NO, I MEAN IT.
1069
00:49:59,175 --> 00:50:02,509
YOU COULD MAKE HOT WATER
COME OUT OF THE COLD FAUCET.
1070
00:50:02,511 --> 00:50:06,179
THAT'S -- THAT'S VERY SWEET.
1071
00:50:06,181 --> 00:50:08,814
YOU KNOW, I REMEMBER THE NIGHT
YOU FIRST WORE THAT DRESS.
1072
00:50:08,816 --> 00:50:11,483
-YOU REMEMBER THAT NIGHT?
-YEAH, I REMEMBER THAT NIGHT.
1073
00:50:11,485 --> 00:50:14,319
-I'LL NEVER FORGET THAT NIGHT.
-NEITHER WILL I, BABY.
1074
00:50:14,321 --> 00:50:15,787
YOU'RE MY FUCKIN' HUSBAND.
1075
00:50:15,789 --> 00:50:18,022
OH, BETCHA I AM.
I'M YOUR CAVEMAN.
1076
00:50:19,425 --> 00:50:21,291
I'LL RIP YOU IN HALF.
1077
00:50:21,293 --> 00:50:22,425
OOH.
1078
00:50:22,427 --> 00:50:24,193
I WANNA HAVE
ALL YOUR BABIES.
1079
00:50:24,195 --> 00:50:25,427
OOH. OOH, BABY.
1080
00:50:28,999 --> 00:50:30,999
I HIT THE FUCKIN' JACKPOT
WITH YOU.
1081
00:50:31,001 --> 00:50:33,034
Oh, God, what I'm gonna do
to you tonight.
1082
00:50:34,604 --> 00:50:37,070
WHO WANTS TO SEE
STONE'S MAN CAVE?
1083
00:50:38,272 --> 00:50:40,206
-UH...
-YEAH.
1084
00:50:40,208 --> 00:50:41,840
IS THIS CHARLTON HESTON?
1085
00:50:41,842 --> 00:50:44,008
YEP.
CHUCK WAS A GOOD FRIEND.
1086
00:50:44,010 --> 00:50:46,210
I CAN'T TELL YA
HOW MANY NIGHTS WE SPENT
1087
00:50:46,212 --> 00:50:47,678
DRINKIN' BOURBON TOGETHER
1088
00:50:47,680 --> 00:50:49,479
AND CRYIN' ABOUT THE STATE
OF THIS COUNTRY.
1089
00:50:49,481 --> 00:50:53,149
IT'S TRUE. THEY DID.
THEY LITERALLY CRIED TOGETHER.
1090
00:50:53,151 --> 00:50:55,484
SOMEHOW I DON'T SEE YOU CRYING,
THOUGH, STONE.
1091
00:50:55,486 --> 00:50:57,285
YEAH, THAT'S, UH,
1092
00:50:57,287 --> 00:50:59,120
THAT'S KIND OF EMBARRASSING.
RIGHT?
1093
00:50:59,122 --> 00:51:01,655
NOT EMBARRASSING TO ME.
1094
00:51:01,657 --> 00:51:04,991
EVEN THE STRONGEST FAUCET
SOMETIMES LETS OUT A FEW DROPS.
1095
00:51:04,993 --> 00:51:07,226
WHAT IS WITH THESE FAUCETS?
1096
00:51:07,228 --> 00:51:08,794
HEY, EVERYONE THOUGHT
THAT F-4 TWISTER
1097
00:51:08,796 --> 00:51:10,495
WAS GONNA BYPASS
HARRIS COUNTY.
1098
00:51:10,497 --> 00:51:11,829
NOT MY STONE.
1099
00:51:11,831 --> 00:51:14,364
I HAD A FEELIN' THAT
THAT LOW-PRESSURE SYSTEM
1100
00:51:14,366 --> 00:51:16,499
WAS GONNA MAKE A BEELINE
FOR MISSION BEND.
1101
00:51:16,501 --> 00:51:18,534
THANKS TO MY REPORT,
1102
00:51:18,536 --> 00:51:21,236
THOSE PEOPLE HAD
AN EXTRA 15 MINUTES TO EVACUATE.
1103
00:51:21,238 --> 00:51:23,371
GOVERNOR PERRY SAID
1104
00:51:23,373 --> 00:51:24,839
HE SAVED 2,000 LIVES.
1105
00:51:24,841 --> 00:51:27,975
THAT'S HOW MANY WE LOST
AT PEARL HARBOR,
1106
00:51:27,977 --> 00:51:31,078
SO BASICALLY,
HE STOPPED PEARL HARBOR.
1107
00:51:31,080 --> 00:51:32,846
THAT'S WHEN
THE NATIONAL NEWS CALLED.
1108
00:51:32,848 --> 00:51:34,147
NOW, BETWEEN US...
1109
00:51:34,149 --> 00:51:35,381
IT'S LOOKIN' GOOD.
AIN'T IT, HONEY?
1110
00:51:35,383 --> 00:51:36,915
- MM-HMM.
1111
00:51:36,917 --> 00:51:39,083
'COURSE NONE OF THAT
WOULD'VE BEEN POSSIBLE
1112
00:51:39,085 --> 00:51:41,685
WITHOUT MY SUGAR MAMA, HERE,
1113
00:51:41,687 --> 00:51:42,986
WORKIN' DAY AND NIGHT
1114
00:51:42,988 --> 00:51:44,153
TO PUT ME
THROUGH METEOROLOGY SCHOOL.
1115
00:51:44,155 --> 00:51:45,888
I LIKED WORKIN', BABY.
1116
00:51:45,890 --> 00:51:47,823
I DIDN'T MIND IT ONE BIT.
1117
00:51:47,825 --> 00:51:49,758
WELL, YOU NEVER HAVE
TO DO IT AGAIN, DARLIN'.
1118
00:51:49,760 --> 00:51:51,493
UM, BUT IT KINDA
GAVE ME PURPOSE.
1119
00:51:51,495 --> 00:51:53,261
NOPE, NEVER AGAIN.
THAT IS A PROMISE.
1120
00:51:55,265 --> 00:51:57,698
WOW. UNCLE STONE, I MAY NOT
AGREE WITH YOUR POLITICS
1121
00:51:57,700 --> 00:51:59,499
BUT THAT DOESN'T MEAN
I DON'T ADMIRE YOU.
1122
00:51:59,501 --> 00:52:00,867
WELL, THANK YOU, JAMES.
1123
00:52:00,869 --> 00:52:03,236
BUT THE MAN
YOU SHOULD ADMIRE THE MOST
1124
00:52:03,238 --> 00:52:04,503
IS SITTIN'
RIGHT NEXT TO YOU.
1125
00:52:05,505 --> 00:52:07,405
BUT THERE'S NOBODY THERE.
1126
00:52:07,407 --> 00:52:09,774
OH, I DON'T MEAN THAT CHAIR.
I MEAN YOUR PA RIGHT HERE.
1127
00:52:09,776 --> 00:52:11,208
OKAY.
1128
00:52:11,210 --> 00:52:12,375
HE DOESN'T SAVE
ANYBODY'S LIFE.
1129
00:52:12,377 --> 00:52:13,376
OH, DOESN'T HE?
1130
00:52:14,879 --> 00:52:16,178
WELL, EVERY TIME HE FLIES
THAT LITTLE PLANE OF HIS,
1131
00:52:16,180 --> 00:52:18,113
HE'S SAVIN' LIVES
BY NOT CRASHIN'.
1132
00:52:18,115 --> 00:52:21,249
AND IN MY BOOK...
THAT MAKES HIM A HERO.
1133
00:52:21,251 --> 00:52:22,917
THANK YOU.
1134
00:52:22,919 --> 00:52:24,385
YOU KNOW,
A LOT OF PEOPLE ACTUALLY--
1135
00:52:24,387 --> 00:52:26,687
NOT TO MENTION,
HE ALSO SNAGGED HIMSELF
1136
00:52:26,689 --> 00:52:28,922
ONE SWEET SLICE OF FOXY PIE
IN YOUR MAMA THERE.
1137
00:52:28,924 --> 00:52:31,190
--YOU GOTTA STOP THAT TODAY.
1138
00:52:31,192 --> 00:52:32,958
STOP IT.
1139
00:52:32,960 --> 00:52:36,227
YOU KNOW WHAT I ALWAYS
WANTED TO KNOW WAS...
1140
00:52:36,229 --> 00:52:39,463
WHEN DID YOU FIRST KNOW
THE WEATHER?
1141
00:52:39,465 --> 00:52:40,730
WELL...
1142
00:52:40,732 --> 00:52:42,865
-YOU ALL RIGHT, DEB?
-WHAT? WHAT?
1143
00:52:42,867 --> 00:52:43,966
HEY!
THERE'S A COW!
1144
00:52:45,202 --> 00:52:47,302
OH, NOT A COW.
THAT'S A STEER.
1145
00:52:47,304 --> 00:52:51,272
THAT THERE IS $6000 WORTH
OF JUICY, PUREBRED ANGUS BEEF.
1146
00:52:52,642 --> 00:52:54,475
IT'S STONE'S NEW PASSION,
RAISING CATTLE.
1147
00:52:54,477 --> 00:52:56,076
HE'S EVEN NAMED THEM.
1148
00:52:56,078 --> 00:52:57,444
UH-HUH.
1149
00:52:57,446 --> 00:52:59,646
OLD SEBASTIAN HERE
LOVES HIM SOME RIBS.
1150
00:52:59,648 --> 00:53:01,447
HERE YA GO, BOY.
1151
00:53:01,449 --> 00:53:03,382
HERE.
OH, THAT'S IT.
1152
00:53:05,552 --> 00:53:06,918
DAD, ISN'T THAT...
1153
00:53:06,920 --> 00:53:08,753
CANNIBALISM?
YEAH.
1154
00:53:08,755 --> 00:53:10,454
SAY, IF YOU BOYS
WANNA GET UP EARLY TOMORROW,
1155
00:53:10,456 --> 00:53:12,756
YOU CAN WATCH ME HERD
THESE SUCKERS INTO THE CORRAL.
1156
00:53:12,758 --> 00:53:14,758
-OH.
-WAIT A MINUTE, WAIT A MINUTE.
1157
00:53:14,760 --> 00:53:16,326
YOU HERD THEM YOURSELF?
1158
00:53:16,328 --> 00:53:18,127
I'M A MAN, AREN'T I?
1159
00:53:18,129 --> 00:53:19,228
YES.
1160
00:53:20,463 --> 00:53:22,130
UH, HEY, STONE,
1161
00:53:22,132 --> 00:53:24,298
NOT SURE IF YOU NEED A HAND
OUT THERE, BUT I'D LOVE TO HELP.
1162
00:53:24,300 --> 00:53:25,932
YEAH, SURE THING, RUSS,
IF YOU'RE UP FOR IT.
1163
00:53:25,934 --> 00:53:27,733
I CAN ALWAYS USE
AN EXTRA SET OF HANDS.
1164
00:53:27,735 --> 00:53:31,403
WELL, I WAS BORN
WITH AN EXTRA SET OF HANDS.
1165
00:53:31,405 --> 00:53:34,139
THAT'S AN ODD THING TO SAY.
1166
00:53:34,141 --> 00:53:35,406
BUT YOU KNOW, I-I-I RECKON
1167
00:53:35,408 --> 00:53:37,341
THIS'LL BE THE HIGHLIGHT
OF YOUR TRIP.
1168
00:53:37,343 --> 00:53:38,975
WELL, THE REAL HIGHLIGHT,
OF COURSE,
1169
00:53:38,977 --> 00:53:41,110
WILL BE WHEN WE GET
TO WALLEY WORLD
1170
00:53:41,112 --> 00:53:45,013
AND I TAKE MY FAMILY ON
THE VELOCIRAPTOR.
1171
00:53:45,015 --> 00:53:46,748
I THINK IT IS SO WEIRD.
1172
00:53:46,750 --> 00:53:49,016
I DON'T KNOW WHY YOU WANT TO GO
BACK TO WALLEY WORLD
1173
00:53:49,018 --> 00:53:50,450
AFTER DAD FLIPPED OUT THERE.
1174
00:53:50,452 --> 00:53:53,252
AUDREY, DAD FLIPPED OUT
BECAUSE HE LOVED US
1175
00:53:53,254 --> 00:53:54,753
AND WANTED US TO BE CLOSE.
1176
00:53:54,755 --> 00:53:56,287
AND WE WERE.
1177
00:53:56,289 --> 00:53:58,422
AND THAT'S ALL I WANT
FOR MY FAMILY.
1178
00:53:58,424 --> 00:54:01,091
YOU'RE SUCH A CLOWN.
1179
00:54:01,093 --> 00:54:02,592
YOU'RE A CLOWN.
1180
00:54:02,594 --> 00:54:04,827
BABE, BABY,
I-I THINK RUSTY'S RIGHT.
1181
00:54:04,829 --> 00:54:09,331
YOU KNOW, FAMILY IS THE MOST
IMPORTANT THING THERE IS.
1182
00:54:09,333 --> 00:54:11,132
LITTLE SOMETHIN'.
1183
00:54:13,936 --> 00:54:16,303
YOU KNOW, MAYBE WE'LL
TAKE BABY COOPER ON
A TRIP THIS SUMMER.
1184
00:54:16,305 --> 00:54:18,638
-YEAH, NOT TO WALLEY WORLD.
-OH, GOD, NO.
1185
00:54:18,640 --> 00:54:20,840
-'CAUSE THAT'D BE STUPID.
-THAT'D BE STUPID.
1186
00:54:20,842 --> 00:54:21,941
HOW 'BOUT PARIS?
1187
00:54:21,943 --> 00:54:23,175
OUI!
1188
00:54:23,177 --> 00:54:24,943
OUI, OUI, OUI!
1189
00:54:24,945 --> 00:54:27,812
AND THEN, WHEN WE GET BACK,
I CAN MAYBE GET A PART-TIME JOB?
1190
00:54:27,814 --> 00:54:29,980
WELL, NOT WHILE THERE'S
BREATH IN MY BODY, SWEETHEART.
1191
00:54:35,685 --> 00:54:36,984
YOU KNOW, HONEY, I AM --
1192
00:54:36,986 --> 00:54:38,318
I'M REALLY HAPPY
FOR YOUR SISTER.
1193
00:54:38,320 --> 00:54:39,619
-YEAH?
-SERIOUSLY.
1194
00:54:39,621 --> 00:54:41,220
SHE AND STONE SEEM
REALLY IN LOVE.
1195
00:54:41,222 --> 00:54:42,521
IT'S NICE.
1196
00:54:42,523 --> 00:54:44,022
THESE PANTS
STONE GAVE ME
1197
00:54:44,024 --> 00:54:46,024
ARE REALLY STRETCHED OUT
IN THE CROTCH, THOUGH.
1198
00:54:46,026 --> 00:54:47,959
THAT'S WEIRD. WHY WOULD THEY
BE STRETCHED OUT IN THE --
1199
00:54:47,961 --> 00:54:49,827
-GOD, I DON'T KNOW.
-OH, SHIT.
1200
00:54:49,829 --> 00:54:51,595
HOW MUCH YOU THINK THEY PAID
FOR THIS HOUSE?
1201
00:54:52,863 --> 00:54:53,963
WHOA.
1202
00:54:54,965 --> 00:54:56,131
OH, OKAY.
1203
00:54:56,133 --> 00:54:57,665
WHOA.
OH!
1204
00:54:57,667 --> 00:54:59,333
SHOULD I SEE IF AUDREY HAS
A YANKEE CANDLE?
1205
00:54:59,335 --> 00:55:01,234
FUCK THE YANKEE CANDLE.
I WANNA DO THIS NOW.
1206
00:55:03,204 --> 00:55:05,137
-OH, GOD, YOU'RE SO SEXY.
-OH, WHAT HAS GOTTEN INTO YOU?
1207
00:55:05,139 --> 00:55:06,538
OH, MY GOD.
1208
00:55:06,540 --> 00:55:09,007
WHAT? WHAT, WHAT, WHAT?
1209
00:55:09,009 --> 00:55:11,476
THIS IS BECAUSE OF HIM,
ISN'T IT?
1210
00:55:11,478 --> 00:55:12,977
WHAT? WHO?
1211
00:55:12,979 --> 00:55:15,512
BECAUSE OF WHO?
1212
00:55:15,514 --> 00:55:16,679
BECAUSE OF STONE.
1213
00:55:16,681 --> 00:55:17,880
WHAT?!
1214
00:55:17,882 --> 00:55:19,248
THAT'S WHY
YOU'RE JUMPING MY BONES!
1215
00:55:19,250 --> 00:55:20,315
YOU'RE JUST THINKING OF HIM!
1216
00:55:20,317 --> 00:55:22,451
THAT'S RIDICULOUS.
1217
00:55:22,453 --> 00:55:23,952
THEN HOW COME THE ONE NIGHT
WE'RE HANGIN' AROUND WITH HIM,
1218
00:55:23,954 --> 00:55:25,920
YOU TURN INTO SOME KIND
OF SEXUAL CHARACTER?
1219
00:55:25,922 --> 00:55:27,755
I DON'T KNOW
WHERE YOU'RE GOING WITH THIS,
1220
00:55:27,757 --> 00:55:29,656
BUT I CAN TELL YOU
RIGHT --
WHERE'S YOUR WEDDING RING?
1221
00:55:29,658 --> 00:55:31,357
OH.
OH, MY GOD.
1222
00:55:31,359 --> 00:55:33,625
BEFORE WE GOT HERE,
YOU TOOK OFF YOUR WEDDING RING?
1223
00:55:33,627 --> 00:55:35,660
NO, I DIDN'T.
RUSTY, IT WAS LOOSE.
1224
00:55:35,662 --> 00:55:37,461
YOU REMEMBER HOW LOOSE IT WAS?
1225
00:55:37,463 --> 00:55:39,596
AND -- AND I-I M-MUST'VE
JUST DROPPED IT SOMEWHERE.
1226
00:55:39,598 --> 00:55:41,297
WHAT WAS THE PLAN, DEB?
1227
00:55:41,299 --> 00:55:42,765
SHOW UP WITHOUT A RING,
AND HE'LL THINK YOU'RE SINGLE?
1228
00:55:42,767 --> 00:55:44,166
HOW'S HE GONNA THINK
THAT I'M SINGLE
1229
00:55:44,168 --> 00:55:45,500
IF I'M HERE WITH MY HUSBAND
AND MY TWO CHILDREN?
1230
00:55:45,502 --> 00:55:46,801
I DON'T KNOW.
IT WAS YOUR PLAN.
1231
00:55:46,803 --> 00:55:49,169
IT WAS NOT MY PL--
OKAY.
1232
00:55:50,871 --> 00:55:52,004
YES.
1233
00:55:52,006 --> 00:55:56,274
STONE IS AN IMPRESSIVE MAN,
OKAY?
1234
00:55:56,276 --> 00:55:58,142
BUT I MARRIED YOU, RUSTY.
1235
00:55:58,144 --> 00:56:00,477
AND I AM SO SORRY
THAT I LOST MY RING,
1236
00:56:00,479 --> 00:56:04,581
BUT I WOULD NEVER, EVER,
EVER TAKE IT OFF ON PURPOSE.
1237
00:56:07,284 --> 00:56:08,450
I KNOW.
I KNOW.
1238
00:56:08,452 --> 00:56:11,352
I JUST...
1239
00:56:11,354 --> 00:56:13,153
I FREAKED OUT.
I'M SORRY.
1240
00:56:13,155 --> 00:56:15,522
I JUST...
1241
00:56:15,524 --> 00:56:16,990
WE'LL GET YOU ANOTHER RING.
1242
00:56:16,992 --> 00:56:18,925
I LIKED THAT ONE.
1243
00:56:21,128 --> 00:56:23,027
HEY.
Y'ALL DECENT?
1244
00:56:23,029 --> 00:56:24,061
-YES. HI.
-HEY.
1245
00:56:24,063 --> 00:56:25,629
OKAY.
JUST WANTED TO MAKE SURE
1246
00:56:25,631 --> 00:56:29,065
Y'ALL HAD EVERYTHING YOU NEEDED
FOR THE NIGHT.
1247
00:56:29,067 --> 00:56:31,133
YEP.
1248
00:56:31,135 --> 00:56:33,168
ALL RIGHT.
1249
00:56:33,170 --> 00:56:36,638
MAN, IT SURE IS BEAUTIFUL HERE
THIS TIME OF YEAR, AIN'T IT?
1250
00:56:36,640 --> 00:56:38,506
AND QUIET.
1251
00:56:38,508 --> 00:56:40,407
LISTEN.
1252
00:56:40,409 --> 00:56:42,642
YOU HEAR THAT?
1253
00:56:44,078 --> 00:56:45,510
-NO.
-EXACTLY.
1254
00:56:45,512 --> 00:56:47,178
-IT'S PERFECT SILENCE.
-MM.
1255
00:56:47,180 --> 00:56:49,513
AH. YEAH.
1256
00:56:49,515 --> 00:56:50,814
YEAH.
1257
00:56:50,816 --> 00:56:55,084
WELL, UH, TV REMOTE.
OKAY, LET ME SHOW YA.
1258
00:56:55,086 --> 00:56:58,987
WE'VE GOT CHANNELS...
AND THE VOLUME.
1259
00:56:58,989 --> 00:57:00,188
ON. OFF.
1260
00:57:00,190 --> 00:57:02,723
-PRETTY STRAIGHTFORWARD.
-YEAH.
1261
00:57:02,725 --> 00:57:04,491
-YEAH.
-MM-HMM.
1262
00:57:04,493 --> 00:57:06,259
OKAY.
ALL RIGHT.
1263
00:57:06,261 --> 00:57:07,760
WELL, UH, IF YOU GET THIRSTY,
1264
00:57:07,762 --> 00:57:10,195
THERE'S, UH,
FRESH MILK IN THE FRIDGE
1265
00:57:10,197 --> 00:57:13,431
AND, UH, HAVE YOURSELVES
A GOOD NIGHT.
1266
00:57:13,433 --> 00:57:15,666
- UH-HUH.
- OKAY.
1267
00:57:15,668 --> 00:57:18,035
-NIGHT, STONE.
-GOOD NIGHT, ST-STONE.
1268
00:57:18,037 --> 00:57:21,104
MAN.
1269
00:57:21,106 --> 00:57:23,072
YEAH.
1270
00:57:24,574 --> 00:57:27,508
Okay.
1271
00:57:29,110 --> 00:57:31,044
HE TOTALLY JUST CAME IN HERE
1272
00:57:31,046 --> 00:57:33,012
TO SHOW OFF HIS SIX-PACK.
1273
00:57:36,684 --> 00:57:38,417
HEY, MORNIN'!
1274
00:57:38,419 --> 00:57:40,685
BARELY.
1275
00:57:40,687 --> 00:57:42,586
HOW COME YOU GOTTA DO THIS
AT 6 A.M.?
1276
00:57:42,588 --> 00:57:44,788
WELL, I GOTTA BE
AT THE STATION BY 7:30
1277
00:57:44,790 --> 00:57:48,091
FOR STONE CRANDALL'S
ACCUWEATHER REPORT.
1278
00:57:48,093 --> 00:57:50,726
HEY, YOU EVER RIDE
ONE OF THESE THINGS?
1279
00:57:50,728 --> 00:57:52,627
MM, NO.
NEVER HAVE.
1280
00:57:52,629 --> 00:57:54,929
BUT, UH, CAN'T IMAGINE
1281
00:57:54,931 --> 00:57:57,531
IT'S MORE COMPLICATED
THAN AN AIRBUS A318.
1282
00:57:57,533 --> 00:58:00,433
YEAH, WELL, THAT'S THE SPIRIT.
1283
00:58:00,435 --> 00:58:01,967
NOW, THE KEY HERE
1284
00:58:01,969 --> 00:58:03,768
IS TO MOVE BACK AND FORTH
ALONG THE EDGE OF THE HERD.
1285
00:58:03,770 --> 00:58:06,303
YOU KEEP YOUR DISTANCE, THOUGH.
WE DON'T WANT TO SPOOK 'EM.
1286
00:58:06,305 --> 00:58:08,471
GOT IT.
1287
00:58:11,075 --> 00:58:12,407
ARE THERE HELMETS?
1288
00:58:12,409 --> 00:58:15,109
YEAH, I KEEP THEM
WITH THE TAMPONS.
1289
00:58:15,111 --> 00:58:17,911
JUST BASIC SAFETY.
1290
00:58:17,913 --> 00:58:20,146
AAH! WHOA!
1291
00:58:24,418 --> 00:58:26,050
THIS IS EXCITING!
1292
00:58:26,052 --> 00:58:29,319
IT'S MY FAVORITE WAY
TO START THE DAY!
1293
00:58:29,321 --> 00:58:31,054
THIS, AND MAKIN' LOVE
TO YOUR SISTER.
1294
00:58:31,056 --> 00:58:32,989
THANK YOU FOR THAT.
1295
00:58:36,494 --> 00:58:39,761
COME ON, LET'S GO!
1296
00:58:39,763 --> 00:58:42,130
WELL, IT LOOKS LIKE
WE GOT US A COUPLE OF MAVERICKS.
1297
00:58:42,132 --> 00:58:45,266
YOU TAKE THE ONE ON THE LEFT.
I'LL TAKE THE ONE ON THE RIGHT.
1298
00:58:45,268 --> 00:58:47,134
UNLESS YOU NEED MY HELP
WITH YOURS.
1299
00:58:47,136 --> 00:58:48,768
NO, I THINK I GOT IT.
1300
00:58:48,770 --> 00:58:50,936
LAST ONE TO THE CORRAL'S
A ROTTEN COWPOKE!
1301
00:58:50,938 --> 00:58:52,837
YEE-HOO-HOO!
1302
00:58:52,839 --> 00:58:55,372
WHOO-HOO!
WHOO-HOO!
1303
00:58:56,941 --> 00:58:58,441
GO ON OVER THERE!
1304
00:58:58,443 --> 00:59:00,776
GO! GET UP! GET UP! GET UP!
LET'S GO!
1305
00:59:02,279 --> 00:59:03,811
WHOA!
1306
00:59:03,813 --> 00:59:05,913
OH!
1307
00:59:10,750 --> 00:59:12,117
HI!
1308
00:59:13,854 --> 00:59:14,819
HOLY SHIT!
1309
00:59:16,489 --> 00:59:17,588
OH, MY GOSH!
1310
00:59:24,528 --> 00:59:26,428
IS THE COW OKAY?
1311
00:59:26,430 --> 00:59:28,530
NO, THE COW'S NOT OKAY, RUSS.
YOU DROVE PLUMB THROUGH HIM.
1312
00:59:29,799 --> 00:59:31,497
OH, NO, SEBASTIAN.
1313
00:59:33,633 --> 00:59:35,266
GROSS.
1314
00:59:49,113 --> 00:59:53,682
HEY, GANG. UH, MAYBE FOR LUNCH,
WE COULD FIND A BURGER PLACE.
1315
00:59:53,684 --> 00:59:56,217
YOU KNOW, LIKE A, UH...
1316
00:59:56,219 --> 00:59:58,852
LIKE A DRIVE-THROUGH
BURGER PLACE.
1317
01:00:00,522 --> 01:00:02,154
I DON'T KNOW, DAD.
1318
01:00:02,156 --> 01:00:05,557
I THINK WE SHOULD, UH,
STEER CLEAR OF THAT.
1319
01:00:05,559 --> 01:00:08,459
-GOOD ONE, JAMES.
-ALL RIGHT, ENOUGH, YOU GUYS.
1320
01:00:08,461 --> 01:00:11,962
DAD HIT A COW, OKAY?
LET'S JUST MOO-VE ON.
1321
01:00:13,565 --> 01:00:15,498
-OH, I GOT ONE.
-YEAH? LET'S HEAR IT.
1322
01:00:15,500 --> 01:00:18,067
- JAMES IS A PIECE OF SHIT.
- OH.
1323
01:00:18,069 --> 01:00:20,235
YOU KINDA MISSED
THE POINT, THERE, BUDDY.
1324
01:00:45,023 --> 01:00:48,357
BUT YOU CAN GET BACK HOME,
YOU CAN GET BACK DOWN
1325
01:00:57,331 --> 01:00:59,030
HEY. HEY.
1326
01:00:59,032 --> 01:01:00,398
WHAT? WHAT IS IT?
WHAT'S WRONG?
1327
01:01:00,400 --> 01:01:01,999
-IS EVERYTHING OKAY?
-YEAH, YEAH, YEAH.
1328
01:01:02,001 --> 01:01:03,233
NO, NO, NO. NO.
NO, NOTHING'S WRONG.
NOTHING'S WRONG.
1329
01:01:03,235 --> 01:01:04,234
OKAY.
WELL, WHAT?
1330
01:01:04,236 --> 01:01:05,868
-I HAVE AN IDEA.
-MM-HMM.
1331
01:01:05,870 --> 01:01:08,737
AND IT'S GONNA SOUND CRAZY,
BUT HEAR ME OUT, OKAY?
1332
01:01:08,739 --> 01:01:11,206
-MM-KAY.
-OKAY.
1333
01:01:11,208 --> 01:01:13,541
WE'RE RIGHT NEAR
THE FOUR CORNERS MONUMENT...
1334
01:01:13,543 --> 01:01:15,042
MM-HMM.
1335
01:01:15,044 --> 01:01:16,710
WHICH IS WHERE FOUR STATES
COME TOGETHER IN ONE SPOT.
1336
01:01:16,712 --> 01:01:19,412
-SO?
-LET'S GO HAVE SEX ON IT.
1337
01:01:19,414 --> 01:01:21,213
WHAT?
1338
01:01:22,416 --> 01:01:23,948
YEAH,
THAT WAY WE CAN MAKE LOVE
1339
01:01:23,950 --> 01:01:26,050
IN FOUR STATES
AT THE SAME TIME.
1340
01:01:26,052 --> 01:01:29,686
WAIT.
YOU'RE SERIOUS?
1341
01:01:29,688 --> 01:01:31,220
WELL, YEAH.
1342
01:01:31,222 --> 01:01:33,088
I MEAN, YOU'RE THE ONE WHO SAID
WE SHOULD MIX IT UP.
1343
01:01:33,090 --> 01:01:35,924
YEAH.
WHAT'S MORE MIXED UP
THAN SEX ON A PUBLIC MONUMENT?
1344
01:01:37,427 --> 01:01:39,494
I'M PRETTY SURE
DEBBIE DO-ANYTHING WOULD DO IT.
1345
01:01:39,496 --> 01:01:41,829
Okay, well, Debbie Do-Anything
was a dumbass, so...
1346
01:01:41,831 --> 01:01:47,033
MAYBE THAT'S WHAT WE NEED.
TO BE DUMBASSES TOGETHER.
1347
01:01:47,035 --> 01:01:49,301
WHAT ABOUT THE KIDS?
1348
01:01:49,303 --> 01:01:51,202
WELL,
KEVIN'S KIND OF A DUMBASS.
1349
01:01:51,204 --> 01:01:54,738
NO, NO, HONEY.
WHAT ARE WE GONNA DO ABOUT THEM?
1350
01:01:54,740 --> 01:01:57,240
THEY'RE FINE.
THEY'RE FAST ASLEEP.
1351
01:01:57,242 --> 01:02:00,309
WE'LL BE BACK
BEFORE THEY KNOW WE'RE GONE.
1352
01:02:00,311 --> 01:02:01,476
OKAY.
1353
01:02:01,478 --> 01:02:03,311
-YEAH?
-ALL RIGHT, LET'S DO IT.
1354
01:02:19,727 --> 01:02:20,926
MOM?
1355
01:02:21,827 --> 01:02:23,561
DAD?
1356
01:02:28,399 --> 01:02:30,265
-JAMES?
-MOM?
1357
01:02:31,867 --> 01:02:33,267
ADENA?
1358
01:02:33,269 --> 01:02:35,202
ARE YOU, LIKE,
STALKING ME OR SOMETHING?
1359
01:02:35,204 --> 01:02:37,437
NO. WHAT? NO.
1360
01:02:37,439 --> 01:02:40,673
I'M KIDDING.
RELAX.
1361
01:02:43,410 --> 01:02:45,510
HEY, WHAT HAPPENED
WITH THAT PERV
1362
01:02:45,512 --> 01:02:48,012
WHO WAS HITTING ON YOU
IN ARKANSAS?
1363
01:02:49,114 --> 01:02:51,748
THAT WAS ACTUALLY MY DAD.
1364
01:02:51,750 --> 01:02:54,083
HE WAS TRYING
TO BE MY WINGMAN.
1365
01:02:54,085 --> 01:02:57,252
OH, MY GOD.
1366
01:02:57,254 --> 01:03:00,355
HE'S A REALLY SHITTY
WINGMAN.
1367
01:03:02,726 --> 01:03:05,727
SO, NO GUITAR TONIGHT?
1368
01:03:05,729 --> 01:03:07,929
IT GOT STOLEN.
1369
01:03:07,931 --> 01:03:10,398
THAT SUCKS.
1370
01:03:10,400 --> 01:03:11,866
I REALLY LIKED
HEARING YOU PLAY.
1371
01:03:11,868 --> 01:03:14,802
YOU -- YOU DID?
1372
01:03:14,804 --> 01:03:17,604
YEAH, I'VE ALWAYS
HAD A THING FOR MUSICIANS.
1373
01:03:20,107 --> 01:03:22,408
WELL, GOOD...
1374
01:03:22,410 --> 01:03:26,044
BECAUSE I'VE ALWAYS
HAD A THING FOR...
1375
01:03:26,046 --> 01:03:28,345
PRETTY GIRLS.
1376
01:03:30,581 --> 01:03:32,048
WELL PLAYED.
1377
01:03:34,052 --> 01:03:36,452
SEE?
YOU DON'T NEED A WINGMAN.
1378
01:03:44,794 --> 01:03:46,261
HERE IT IS.
1379
01:03:46,263 --> 01:03:47,629
OH, MY GOD.
1380
01:03:47,631 --> 01:03:48,830
THIS IS SO ILLEGAL.
1381
01:03:48,832 --> 01:03:50,665
I KNOW.
IT'S SO HOT, RIGHT?
1382
01:03:50,667 --> 01:03:53,067
YEAH.
I AM HARD AS A FAUCET RIGHT NOW.
1383
01:03:54,070 --> 01:03:55,069
OH!
1384
01:03:55,071 --> 01:03:56,470
I-I'M SORRY.
I'M SORRY.
1385
01:03:56,472 --> 01:03:57,637
NO.
I LIKE IT.
1386
01:03:57,639 --> 01:03:58,638
-YEAH?
-YEAH.
1387
01:03:58,640 --> 01:03:59,839
-YEAH?
-I DO.
1388
01:03:59,841 --> 01:04:00,940
YOU LIKE IT
WHEN I SLAP THAT ASS?
1389
01:04:00,942 --> 01:04:02,741
I DO!
I DO!
1390
01:04:02,743 --> 01:04:04,642
GOOD, 'CAUSE I'M GONNA BEAT
THE SHIT OUT OF YOUR ASS.
1391
01:04:04,644 --> 01:04:06,443
WHOA! RUSS!
1392
01:04:06,445 --> 01:04:08,645
OKAY, RIGHT HERE?
1393
01:04:13,183 --> 01:04:14,449
WE'RE ABOUT
TO HAVE SEX OUTSIDE!
1394
01:04:14,451 --> 01:04:16,150
- I KNOW. I KNOW.
1395
01:04:16,152 --> 01:04:17,784
DO YOU WANT ME
TO PUT A FINGER IN?
1396
01:04:17,786 --> 01:04:19,018
IN WHAT?
1397
01:04:19,020 --> 01:04:20,152
-NEVER MIND. NEVER MIND.
-OKAY, OKAY.
1398
01:04:20,154 --> 01:04:21,520
Y'ALL WANNA KEEP IT DOWN?
1399
01:04:21,522 --> 01:04:23,121
-AAH!
-YEAH! YEAH!
1400
01:04:23,123 --> 01:04:24,789
HEY, WATCH IT, MAN!
1401
01:04:24,791 --> 01:04:27,424
-GET YOUR LEG OFF OF ME!
-YOU'RE SO SLIPPERY AND SWEATY!
1402
01:04:27,426 --> 01:04:29,626
IF Y'ALL ARE HERE TO HAVE SEX
ON THE CORNERS, WE'RE NEXT.
1403
01:04:29,628 --> 01:04:30,627
GET IN LINE.
1404
01:04:30,629 --> 01:04:32,295
-OH, MY GOSH.
-OH, GOD.
1405
01:04:32,297 --> 01:04:34,263
OH, GOD.
1406
01:04:34,265 --> 01:04:35,931
-AAH!
-OH!
1407
01:04:35,933 --> 01:04:38,333
-OH, GOD!
-EW!
1408
01:04:38,335 --> 01:04:40,835
OH, GOD!
THEY'RE IN EVERY STATE!
1409
01:04:40,837 --> 01:04:42,436
SO MANY BOOBIES OUT HERE!
1410
01:04:42,438 --> 01:04:43,703
YOU TWO! FREEZE!
1411
01:04:43,705 --> 01:04:45,538
GO, GO, GO, GO, GO!
1412
01:04:45,540 --> 01:04:46,605
HANDS UP!
1413
01:04:46,607 --> 01:04:48,707
RUN! HONEY, RUN!
1414
01:04:48,709 --> 01:04:50,041
DROP THE FLASHLIGHT!
1415
01:04:51,044 --> 01:04:53,010
YOU DO KNOW PUBLIC INDECENCY
1416
01:04:53,012 --> 01:04:55,178
IS A CRIME IN THE STATE OF UTAH?
1417
01:04:55,180 --> 01:04:56,612
YES.
SORRY, OFFICER.
1418
01:04:56,614 --> 01:04:58,180
SEE, WE'RE MARRIED,
AND WE WANTED TO JUST --
1419
01:04:58,182 --> 01:04:59,614
YOU KNOW WHAT?
SAVE IT FOR THE JUDGE.
1420
01:04:59,616 --> 01:05:01,682
IT MAKES ME SICK
HOW YOU DEVIANTS SHOW UP
1421
01:05:01,684 --> 01:05:04,051
AND DESECRATE THIS HOLY PLACE
EVERY NIGHT.
1422
01:05:04,053 --> 01:05:05,886
TURN AROUND!
HANDS BEHIND YOUR BACK.
1423
01:05:05,888 --> 01:05:06,887
WHAT?
1424
01:05:06,889 --> 01:05:08,655
NOT SO FAST, TOMMY!
1425
01:05:08,657 --> 01:05:09,956
SHOOT FOR SHERBET!
1426
01:05:09,958 --> 01:05:11,390
WHAT ARE YOU DOIN' HERE,
KYLE?
1427
01:05:11,392 --> 01:05:13,458
THESE PEOPLE ARE CLEARLY
IN THE STATE OF COLORADO.
1428
01:05:13,460 --> 01:05:14,959
THAT'S MY JURISDICTION.
1429
01:05:14,961 --> 01:05:16,794
JURIS-DICK IN MY ASS, KYLE.
1430
01:05:16,796 --> 01:05:19,797
LOOK AT HER LEFT FOOT.
SMACK-DAB IN ARIZONA.
1431
01:05:19,799 --> 01:05:22,733
YOU WEED-LEGALIZING,
MILE-HIGH PIECE OF SHIT.
1432
01:05:22,735 --> 01:05:24,401
HEY, THERE'S NO REASON
FOR THAT LANGUAGE.
1433
01:05:24,403 --> 01:05:26,002
OH, I'M SORRY,
OFFICER MORMON.
1434
01:05:26,004 --> 01:05:27,870
YOU DON'T LIKE THAT?
I HAVE AN IDEA.
1435
01:05:27,872 --> 01:05:30,138
WHY DON'T YOU PLUG UP YOUR EARS
WITH MITT ROMNEY'S DICK?
1436
01:05:30,140 --> 01:05:31,239
--HEY!
1437
01:05:31,241 --> 01:05:33,541
OH, LOOKS LIKE
NEW MEXICO
1438
01:05:33,543 --> 01:05:35,342
DECIDED TO WAKE UP
FROM HIS SIESTA.
1439
01:05:35,344 --> 01:05:36,743
WHAT SEEMS
TO BE THE TROUBLE?
1440
01:05:36,745 --> 01:05:38,344
TELL YOU WHAT THE TROUBLE IS,
DREAMCATCHER.
1441
01:05:38,346 --> 01:05:40,679
YOU ARE WEARING ENTIRELY
TOO MUCH GODDAMN TURQUOISE.
1442
01:05:40,681 --> 01:05:42,047
HEY, WE CAN DO THIS
1443
01:05:42,049 --> 01:05:43,481
WITHOUT DISRESPECTING
EACH OTHER'S TRADITIONS.
1444
01:05:43,483 --> 01:05:46,016
OH, GO FUCK YOUR WIVES,
TOMMY.
1445
01:05:46,018 --> 01:05:47,517
SEE, THIS IS WHAT
I'M TELLING YOU GUYS.
1446
01:05:47,519 --> 01:05:48,818
EVERY NIGHT WE DO THIS.
1447
01:05:48,820 --> 01:05:50,586
YOU KNOW WHAT
THIS BORDER REPRESENTS?
1448
01:05:50,588 --> 01:05:52,688
IT'S JUST AN IDEA.
THAT'S ALL I'M SAYING.
1449
01:05:52,690 --> 01:05:53,922
ALL RIGHT, WELL,
IF IT'S JUST AN IDEA,
1450
01:05:53,924 --> 01:05:54,989
THEN I'LL JUST GET THE PERP --
1451
01:05:54,991 --> 01:05:56,390
-MY HOUSE!
-OH!
1452
01:05:56,392 --> 01:05:57,891
-HEY!
-STAY OUT OF MY STATE, BUDDY.
1453
01:05:57,893 --> 01:05:59,559
OH, YEAH?
WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO NOW?
1454
01:05:59,561 --> 01:06:00,693
-GET YOUR FEET OFF OF MY STATE!
-HEY, COME ON, NOW.
1455
01:06:00,695 --> 01:06:02,194
YOU WANNA STOMP ON MY FOOT?
1456
01:06:02,196 --> 01:06:03,695
-YOU BACK -- YOU BACK --
-IS THAT WHAT YOU WANT?
1457
01:06:03,697 --> 01:06:05,063
-STAY OUT OF THIS.
-HEY, I WASN'T EVEN IN IT!
1458
01:06:05,065 --> 01:06:06,764
WHOA!
DON'T YOU KICK IN HERE!
1459
01:06:06,766 --> 01:06:08,198
-DON'T START...
-YOU WANNA DO THAT AGAIN?
1460
01:06:08,200 --> 01:06:09,265
HOW ABOUT THIS, THEN?
HUH? HUH?
1461
01:06:09,267 --> 01:06:10,733
-OH!
-OH, WE GOT A LIVE WIRE!
1462
01:06:10,735 --> 01:06:12,935
-OH, SHIT! AW, SHIT!
-WE GOT A LIVE WEAPON!
1463
01:06:12,937 --> 01:06:14,336
OOH. OOH.
YOU THINK I'M AFRAID
OF THAT SHIT?
1464
01:06:14,338 --> 01:06:16,037
I'M NOT AFRAID OF YOU!
1465
01:06:16,039 --> 01:06:18,072
-HOW ABOUT THAT, HUH? HUH?
-OH, YEAH, LIKE I'M AFRAID?
1466
01:06:18,074 --> 01:06:19,506
-UH-HUH. UH-HUH.
-UH-HUH. UH-HUH. UH-HUH.
1467
01:06:20,909 --> 01:06:22,708
ARE WE GONNA...
I DON'T WANT IT IN MY MOUTH.
1468
01:06:22,710 --> 01:06:23,775
LET'S NOT DO THAT, OKAY?
1469
01:06:23,777 --> 01:06:25,777
I'LL TAKE THAT ALL IN, DUDE!
1470
01:06:25,779 --> 01:06:27,545
-THAT'S ENOUGH!
EVERYONE GET DOWN!
-GET DOWN ON THE GROUND!
1471
01:06:27,547 --> 01:06:29,113
EVERYONE DOWN ON THE GROUND!
GET DOWN!
1472
01:06:29,115 --> 01:06:30,547
-GET DOWN ON THE GROUND!
-YOU GET DOWN!
1473
01:06:30,549 --> 01:06:31,681
-GET DOWN!
-I'M COOPERATING!
1474
01:06:31,683 --> 01:06:33,215
I'M THE ONE WHO'S COOPERATING!
1475
01:06:33,217 --> 01:06:34,749
YOU GET DOWN, TOO.
YOU GET DOWN, TOO.
1476
01:06:34,751 --> 01:06:36,183
GET DOWN ON THE GROUND!
1477
01:06:36,185 --> 01:06:37,884
-HANDS WHERE?
-HANDS ON YOUR RIGHT SIDE!
1478
01:06:37,886 --> 01:06:39,385
-BY THE SIDES OR IN FRONT?
-SIDE TO SIDE. SIDE TO SIDE.
1479
01:06:39,387 --> 01:06:41,086
-LET'S DO THIS.
-EVERYONE DOWN?
1480
01:06:41,088 --> 01:06:43,288
OKAY.
I THINK I'M DONE.
1481
01:06:48,260 --> 01:06:51,627
YOU CAN REALLY SEE
ALL THE STARS OUT HERE.
1482
01:06:51,629 --> 01:06:53,128
YEAH.
1483
01:06:55,197 --> 01:06:58,098
SO...
WHAT DO YOU FEEL LIKE DOING?
1484
01:06:58,100 --> 01:07:01,267
I DON'T KNOW.
1485
01:07:05,805 --> 01:07:08,139
CA--
1486
01:07:08,141 --> 01:07:10,307
CAN I GIVE YOU A RIM JOB?
1487
01:07:12,576 --> 01:07:13,809
-WHOA!
-NO.
1488
01:07:13,811 --> 01:07:16,278
-UH, WHAT?!
1489
01:07:16,280 --> 01:07:17,812
-I DON'T KNOW.
-WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU?
1490
01:07:17,814 --> 01:07:19,380
I DON'T KNOW.
I'M SORRY.
1491
01:07:19,382 --> 01:07:21,315
WHAT DID --
WHAT DID YOU WANNA DO?
1492
01:07:21,317 --> 01:07:22,783
I DON'T KNOW.
1493
01:07:22,785 --> 01:07:26,153
I THOUGHT MAYBE WE COULD
KISS OR SOMETHING?
1494
01:07:26,155 --> 01:07:28,455
WELL, YEAH,
THAT'S WHAT I THOUGHT I...
1495
01:07:28,457 --> 01:07:30,390
YEAH. OKAY.
1496
01:07:34,427 --> 01:07:36,060
OW!
1497
01:07:36,062 --> 01:07:37,728
WHERE'S MOM AND DAD, DORK?
1498
01:07:37,730 --> 01:07:39,830
I DON'T KNOW, KEVIN.
JUST GO BACK INSIDE THE THING.
1499
01:07:39,832 --> 01:07:42,065
YOU WERE ABOUT TO LET
THAT DINGUS KISS YOU?
1500
01:07:42,067 --> 01:07:43,933
SHUT UP, KEVIN.
1501
01:07:43,935 --> 01:07:46,669
-WHO IS THAT?
-MY STUPID LITTLE BROTHER.
1502
01:07:46,671 --> 01:07:49,138
I THOUGHT YOU SAID
HE WAS YOUR BIG BROTHER.
1503
01:07:49,140 --> 01:07:50,172
I -- DAMN IT!
1504
01:07:50,174 --> 01:07:51,473
DINGUS.
1505
01:07:51,475 --> 01:07:53,174
WHY DO YOU TAKE THAT
FROM HIM?
1506
01:07:53,176 --> 01:07:54,775
WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO,
HIT HIM BACK?
1507
01:07:54,777 --> 01:07:56,810
-HE'S A LITTLE KID.
-HE'S A LITTLE SHIT.
1508
01:07:56,812 --> 01:07:58,311
YOU DON'T HAVE TO LET HIM
PUSH YOU AROUND.
1509
01:07:58,313 --> 01:08:01,681
I KINDA THOUGHT I WAS TAKING
THE HIGH ROAD.
1510
01:08:01,683 --> 01:08:04,683
YEAH, THAT SEEMS
TO BE WORKING OUT FOR YOU.
1511
01:08:06,419 --> 01:08:07,285
YOU KNOW WHAT?
1512
01:08:10,522 --> 01:08:12,489
FUCK IT.
1513
01:08:13,524 --> 01:08:16,025
OKAY,
SO YOU WANNA DO THIS NOW?
1514
01:08:16,027 --> 01:08:18,060
BRING IT, BITCH.
1515
01:08:19,195 --> 01:08:20,995
WAIT, WHAT?!
1516
01:08:20,997 --> 01:08:22,263
NO, NO, NO.
1517
01:08:23,266 --> 01:08:24,632
WOW.
THIS IS SO EASY.
1518
01:08:24,634 --> 01:08:26,867
YOU ARE SUCH A LITTLE BOY.
1519
01:08:28,536 --> 01:08:30,103
THERE'S GONNA BE A FEW CHANGES,
KEVIN, ALL RIGHT?
1520
01:08:30,105 --> 01:08:31,204
NO MORE BULLYING.
1521
01:08:31,206 --> 01:08:33,039
STOP IT!
I'M TELLING MOM.
1522
01:08:33,041 --> 01:08:35,041
SHUT YOUR MOUTH.
YOU GONNA STOP BULLYING?
1523
01:08:35,043 --> 01:08:36,776
YOU'RE HURTING MY TUMMY!
1524
01:08:36,778 --> 01:08:40,246
SAY YOU'RE GONNA STOP,
YOU LITTLE PIECE OF...ASS.
1525
01:08:40,248 --> 01:08:42,481
WAIT, WHAT?
"PIECE OF ASS"?
1526
01:08:42,483 --> 01:08:43,882
YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN,
OKAY?
1527
01:08:43,884 --> 01:08:46,217
WHAT -- WHAT ARE YOU DOING
TO MY FACE?
1528
01:08:46,219 --> 01:08:47,818
-THIS HURTS, DOESN'T IT?
-DUDE!
1529
01:08:47,820 --> 01:08:49,753
HOW DO YOU LIKE YOUR EARS
GETTIN' MESSED UP WITH?
1530
01:08:49,755 --> 01:08:51,321
IT'S REALLY NOT THAT BAD.
1531
01:08:51,323 --> 01:08:52,922
I'MMA TAP YOU
RIGHT ON THE FOREHEAD.
1532
01:08:52,924 --> 01:08:54,757
THAT'S NOT EVEN
HOW YOU BEAT SOMEONE UP!
1533
01:08:54,759 --> 01:08:56,258
VERY DEHUMANIZING.
1534
01:08:56,260 --> 01:08:58,260
YOUR FOREHEAD'S
GONNA BE SO SORE.
1535
01:08:58,262 --> 01:09:00,428
-BLBLBL! BLBLBL!
-STOP IT! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!
1536
01:09:00,430 --> 01:09:02,229
HOW DO YOU LIKE YOUR LIPS
GETTING TICKLED?
1537
01:09:02,231 --> 01:09:03,830
THIS IS REALLY WEIRD.
1538
01:09:03,832 --> 01:09:05,765
JUST SMUSH YOUR CHEEKS.
1539
01:09:05,767 --> 01:09:08,300
-YOU GONNA STOP BULLYING?
-FINE. I'LL STOP BULLYING.
1540
01:09:08,302 --> 01:09:09,768
JUST STOP DOING THIS.
1541
01:09:12,005 --> 01:09:13,304
THANK YOU, ADENA.
1542
01:09:13,306 --> 01:09:14,905
THIS HAS BEEN...
1543
01:09:14,907 --> 01:09:16,506
THE BEST NIGHT OF MY LIFE.
1544
01:09:22,246 --> 01:09:24,478
WEIRD FUCKING FAMILY.
1545
01:09:26,414 --> 01:09:28,715
WELL, THAT WAS AWFUL.
1546
01:09:31,085 --> 01:09:33,853
AT LEAST THE KIDS NEVER WOKE UP.
1547
01:09:42,695 --> 01:09:44,928
UH, PASSENGERS ON
THE LEFT SIDE OF THE PRANCER
1548
01:09:44,930 --> 01:09:48,131
WILL NOTICE THE GRAND CANYON
OUT THE WINDOW.
1549
01:09:48,133 --> 01:09:51,534
THAT'S RIGHT.
LAST STOP BEFORE WALLEY WORLD.
1550
01:10:02,878 --> 01:10:04,644
SO, GUYS,
1551
01:10:04,646 --> 01:10:07,713
WHEN WE VISITED THE GRAND CANYON
WHEN I WAS A KID,
1552
01:10:07,715 --> 01:10:09,715
WE BARELY HAD A CHANCE
TO LOOK AT IT.
1553
01:10:09,717 --> 01:10:11,983
THIS TIME...
1554
01:10:11,985 --> 01:10:14,485
WE'RE GONNA DO
A WHOLE LOT MORE THAN LOOK.
1555
01:10:14,487 --> 01:10:18,121
- OH, COOL.
- SWEET!
1556
01:10:21,558 --> 01:10:23,191
HI, FOLKS!
1557
01:10:23,193 --> 01:10:24,792
HI!
1558
01:10:24,794 --> 01:10:26,827
ALL RIGHT, LET'S SEE,
WHO DO WE GOT HERE?
1559
01:10:26,829 --> 01:10:30,229
YOU MUST BE
THE FUNG FAMILY!
1560
01:10:30,231 --> 01:10:31,296
HUH?
1561
01:10:32,531 --> 01:10:33,531
I'M JUST MESSING!
1562
01:10:33,533 --> 01:10:34,732
YOU'RE THE GRISWOLDS, RIGHT?
1563
01:10:34,734 --> 01:10:36,233
YES, THAT'S RIGHT.
1564
01:10:36,235 --> 01:10:37,801
RIGHT.
1565
01:10:37,803 --> 01:10:40,236
THE LITTLE GUY'S FACE WAS LIKE,
"FUNGS? HUH?!"
1566
01:10:42,139 --> 01:10:44,539
ANYWAY, I'M CHAD.
I'M GONNA BE YOUR GUIDE.
1567
01:10:44,541 --> 01:10:46,040
-OKAY. HI, CHAD.
-ALL RIGHT.
1568
01:10:46,042 --> 01:10:48,075
WELL YOU COULDN'T HAVE COME
ON A BETTER DAY.
1569
01:10:48,077 --> 01:10:49,543
I'M GONNA GET YOU ALL GEARED UP.
1570
01:10:49,545 --> 01:10:51,578
AND, GUESS WHAT,
THE RIVER'S RUNNING WAY HIGH,
1571
01:10:51,580 --> 01:10:53,846
SO I THINK WE'RE IN FOR
A PRETTY SWEET RIDE, GUYS.
1572
01:10:53,848 --> 01:10:55,681
-LET'S ROLL.
-ALL RIGHT.
1573
01:10:55,683 --> 01:10:57,315
LET'S DO THIS.
1574
01:10:57,317 --> 01:10:59,183
OKAY, GANG,
JOKE TIME IS OVER.
1575
01:10:59,185 --> 01:11:00,417
ALL RIGHT,
LET'S GET SERIOUS FOR A SECOND.
1576
01:11:00,419 --> 01:11:01,851
LET'S GO OVER A COUPLE
SAFETY PROCEDURES
1577
01:11:01,853 --> 01:11:03,319
BEFORE WE HIT THE WATER.
1578
01:11:03,321 --> 01:11:05,154
FIRST OFF --
DO ANY OF YOU KNOW THIS RIVER?
1579
01:11:05,156 --> 01:11:06,888
'CAUSE THIS IS ACTUALLY
MY FIRST TIME.
1580
01:11:08,757 --> 01:11:09,757
I'M KIDDING.
1581
01:11:11,327 --> 01:11:13,260
BEEN DOING THIS
ABOUT THREE AND A HALF YEARS.
1582
01:11:13,262 --> 01:11:14,928
KNOW THE RIVER INSIDE AND OUT,
OKAY?
1583
01:11:14,930 --> 01:11:17,397
UH, GOT MY GUIDE CERTIFICATE
FROM A CRACKER JACK BOX.
1584
01:11:18,767 --> 01:11:20,533
THAT'S A JOKE.
GUYS, IT'S A JOKE.
1585
01:11:20,535 --> 01:11:22,935
SEE THE LITTLE KID'S FACE?
HE'S ALL, "A CRACKER JACK BOX?
1586
01:11:22,937 --> 01:11:25,737
A WHAT?!"
1587
01:11:25,739 --> 01:11:27,605
ALL YOU GOTTA DO IS FOLLOW
MY INSTRUCTIONS OUT THERE.
1588
01:11:27,607 --> 01:11:30,006
AND WE GOT A 50-50 CHANCE
OF COMING BACK ALIVE.
1589
01:11:31,575 --> 01:11:33,208
I'M KIDDING, GUYS.
1590
01:11:33,210 --> 01:11:34,709
SEE THE LITTLE KID'S FACE,
HE'S ALL,
1591
01:11:34,711 --> 01:11:37,445
"I'M COMING BACK ALIVE!
I DON'T WANNA DIE!"
1592
01:11:38,748 --> 01:11:40,547
UH, SORRY, HANG ON A SECOND.
1593
01:11:40,549 --> 01:11:41,948
I-I'M GETTING A CALL
FROM MY FIANCéE HERE.
1594
01:11:41,950 --> 01:11:43,582
ACTUALLY, JUST GOT ENGAGED
TWO WEEKS AGO,
1595
01:11:43,584 --> 01:11:45,250
SO I THINK
I'M GONNA TAKE THIS
1596
01:11:45,252 --> 01:11:47,118
OR THE RIVER'S NOT GONNA BE
THE ONLY HOT WATER I'M IN TODAY.
1597
01:11:47,120 --> 01:11:50,587
RIVER'S ACTUALLY VERY COLD.
1598
01:11:50,589 --> 01:11:51,688
HEY, BOO.
1599
01:11:52,623 --> 01:11:53,623
- WOW.
1600
01:11:53,625 --> 01:11:54,590
THIS IS AWESOME.
1601
01:11:54,592 --> 01:11:56,091
WE'RE ABOUT TO SET SAIL
1602
01:11:56,093 --> 01:11:58,693
THROUGH ONE OF AMERICA'S
GREATEST AQUATIC TREASURES.
1603
01:11:58,695 --> 01:12:00,995
-KEVIN, DON'T HIT YOUR BROTHER.
-I DIDN'T.
1604
01:12:02,297 --> 01:12:03,630
YOU HEARD WHAT HE SAID ABOUT
1605
01:12:03,632 --> 01:12:05,365
THE AQUATIC TREASURES
AND EVERYTHING, RIGHT?
1606
01:12:05,367 --> 01:12:07,700
-YEAH.
-AND YOU DIDN'T WANNA HIT HIM?
1607
01:12:09,769 --> 01:12:11,636
-HMM, WELL, THAT'S PROGRESS.
-WOW.
1608
01:12:11,638 --> 01:12:15,405
I DON'T UNDERSTAND, THOUGH.
LIKE, WHAT ARE YOU EVEN SAYING?
1609
01:12:15,407 --> 01:12:16,906
BUT J-JUST LIKE THAT?!
1610
01:12:16,908 --> 01:12:19,408
I-I LOVE YOU!
YOU LOVE ME!
1611
01:12:19,410 --> 01:12:20,976
TANYA, PLEASE!
1612
01:12:20,978 --> 01:12:22,877
PLEASE, JUST LET'S THINK
ABOUT THIS FOR A SECOND, HONEY.
1613
01:12:22,879 --> 01:12:24,078
YOU'RE ALL THAT I HAVE
IN THIS WORLD!
1614
01:12:24,080 --> 01:12:27,381
TANYA, NO, BABE.
NO, TANYA! NO!
1615
01:12:27,383 --> 01:12:30,016
PLEASE DON'T HANG UP!
NO! NO! GODDAMN IT!
1616
01:12:50,300 --> 01:12:52,334
WHO'S READY TO GO
ON THE RIVER?
1617
01:12:52,336 --> 01:12:55,270
UM, ARE YOU OKAY, CHAD?
1618
01:12:55,272 --> 01:12:57,005
OH, YEAH!
1619
01:12:57,007 --> 01:12:59,307
TURNS OUT,
I'M NOT ENGAGED ANYMORE.
1620
01:12:59,309 --> 01:13:00,675
SO...
1621
01:13:02,411 --> 01:13:04,145
ALL ABOARD.
1622
01:13:05,413 --> 01:13:06,913
I DON'T KNOW
ABOUT THIS, RUSS.
1623
01:13:06,915 --> 01:13:10,516
OH, COME ON.
HE'S KIDDING.
1624
01:14:51,267 --> 01:14:52,599
WHAT?
1625
01:14:52,601 --> 01:14:54,701
WE'RE A DAY AWAY
FROM WALLEY WORLD.
1626
01:14:54,703 --> 01:14:57,603
DAD, I DON'T THINK ANY OF US
REALLY CARE ABOUT WALLEY WORLD.
1627
01:14:57,605 --> 01:14:58,904
THE BOYS ARE RIGHT, RUSS.
1628
01:14:58,906 --> 01:15:00,772
I MEAN,
WE ALMOST DIED BACK THERE.
1629
01:15:00,774 --> 01:15:03,207
I MEAN, ISN'T IT TIME
THAT WE JUST CUT OUR LOSSES?
1630
01:15:03,209 --> 01:15:06,443
I CANNOT BELIEVE
WHAT I'M HEARING.
1631
01:15:06,445 --> 01:15:08,344
I -- OH. OH, MY GOD!
1632
01:15:09,447 --> 01:15:10,712
HUH? ALL RIGHT.
1633
01:15:10,714 --> 01:15:12,046
THAT HAS TO BE A SIGN,
RIGHT?
1634
01:15:12,048 --> 01:15:13,747
WE WERE MEANT
TO FINISH THIS TRIP.
1635
01:15:13,749 --> 01:15:16,216
COME ON, GUYS,
EVERYBODY SING IT WITH ME.
1636
01:15:24,191 --> 01:15:25,523
-WE'RE LOSING THE STATION, RUSS.
-WE'RE NOT LOSING ANYTHING.
1637
01:15:25,525 --> 01:15:26,891
YES, WE ARE, JUST--
1638
01:15:26,893 --> 01:15:28,726
WE JUST HAVE TO LISTEN
A LITTLE HARDER!
1639
01:15:32,531 --> 01:15:33,530
OKAY, NO, NO, NO.
1640
01:15:33,532 --> 01:15:34,464
IT'S GONE.
IT'S GONE.
1641
01:15:34,466 --> 01:15:35,932
-JUST LET IT GO!
-FINE!
1642
01:15:35,934 --> 01:15:38,267
JUST THOUGHT
WE COULD ALL SING SEAL TOGETHER
1643
01:15:38,269 --> 01:15:39,534
LIKE NORMAL FAMILIES DO.
1644
01:15:39,536 --> 01:15:41,636
AH, CRAP!
1645
01:15:41,638 --> 01:15:42,703
NOW WHAT?
1646
01:15:42,705 --> 01:15:43,770
WE'RE ALMOST OUT OF GAS.
1647
01:15:43,772 --> 01:15:46,039
OH, MY GOD.
1648
01:15:46,041 --> 01:15:47,707
IT'S ALL RIGHT.
1649
01:15:47,709 --> 01:15:49,975
I'M SURE WE WILL FIND
A PLACE TO FILL UP AROUND HERE
1650
01:15:49,977 --> 01:15:51,209
BEFORE WE RUN OUT.
1651
01:15:52,678 --> 01:15:56,880
UGH. MAN.
NO SIGNAL AT ALL.
1652
01:15:58,550 --> 01:16:00,683
WONDER IF THE PRANCER
HAS ROADSIDE ASSISTANCE.
1653
01:16:00,685 --> 01:16:03,719
--HOW WOULD WE EVEN CALL THEM?
1654
01:16:03,721 --> 01:16:05,187
MAYBE IT'S ONE OF THE BUTTONS
ON THE FOB.
1655
01:16:05,189 --> 01:16:07,222
SERIOUSLY? YOU'RE GONNA KEEP
PRESSING BUTTONS?
1656
01:16:07,224 --> 01:16:09,023
WELL,
WE NEVER TRIED THE TOP HAT.
1657
01:16:09,025 --> 01:16:10,391
OH, GEEZ.
1658
01:16:11,394 --> 01:16:12,559
OH, MY GOD!
1659
01:16:14,194 --> 01:16:15,527
WELL, NOW WE KNOW
WHAT THE TOP HAT DOES.
1660
01:16:17,097 --> 01:16:18,763
I'M NOT GONNA DO
THE SWASTIKA.
1661
01:16:18,765 --> 01:16:21,499
ALL THAT'S LEFT
IS THE MUFFIN.
1662
01:16:23,269 --> 01:16:24,601
COME ON, MUFFIN.
1663
01:16:27,338 --> 01:16:28,503
-WHAT?
-IT STARTED!
1664
01:16:28,505 --> 01:16:30,004
-YES!
-ALL RIGHT!
1665
01:16:30,006 --> 01:16:32,573
OH!
MUST BE THE EXTRA GAS TANK.
1666
01:16:32,575 --> 01:16:33,840
-RIGHT?
-OH! THE MUFFIN!
1667
01:16:33,842 --> 01:16:35,675
DAD TO THE RESCUE!
1668
01:16:35,677 --> 01:16:37,343
-THANK GOD.
-WAIT, WHERE'S IT GOING?
1669
01:16:37,345 --> 01:16:38,677
WAIT! WAIT A MINUTE!
1670
01:16:38,679 --> 01:16:40,612
MAKE IT --
MAKE IT STOP!
1671
01:16:40,614 --> 01:16:43,014
I DON'T KNOW HOW!
I'LL HIT THE MUFFIN AGAIN!
1672
01:17:03,467 --> 01:17:04,900
ALL RIGHT.
WE CAN HANDLE THIS.
1673
01:17:04,902 --> 01:17:06,935
OH, NO, NO, NO.
PLEASE DON'T SAY THAT.
1674
01:17:06,937 --> 01:17:09,737
DO NOT SAY THAT WE CAN
HANDLE THIS, RUSS.
1675
01:17:09,739 --> 01:17:10,938
-OKAY?
-WE CAN.
1676
01:17:10,940 --> 01:17:13,040
NO, WE CAN'T!
WE CAN'T!
1677
01:17:13,042 --> 01:17:15,642
FROM THE MOMENT WE LEFT
FOR THIS TRIP,
1678
01:17:15,644 --> 01:17:17,110
NOTHING HAS GONE RIGHT.
1679
01:17:17,112 --> 01:17:19,545
CAN YOU PLEASE JUST ADMIT
THAT THIS WAS A MISTAKE?
1680
01:17:21,214 --> 01:17:22,914
BUT IT WASN'T.
RIGHT?
1681
01:17:22,916 --> 01:17:23,948
WE ALL WANTED TO GO.
1682
01:17:23,950 --> 01:17:25,049
-I DIDN'T.
-ME NEITHER.
1683
01:17:25,051 --> 01:17:26,316
NO. ME NEITHER.
1684
01:17:26,318 --> 01:17:27,450
YOU WANTED TO GO.
1685
01:17:27,452 --> 01:17:28,818
ALL RIGHT,
I THINK TEMPERS
1686
01:17:28,820 --> 01:17:30,553
ARE GETTING A LITTLE HOT
RIGHT NOW.
1687
01:17:30,555 --> 01:17:31,687
WE JUST HAVE TO, UH...
1688
01:17:32,755 --> 01:17:34,856
WE JUST ALL HAVE TO...
1689
01:17:37,293 --> 01:17:38,892
FUCK ME!
1690
01:17:38,894 --> 01:17:40,293
I GIVE UP!
1691
01:17:40,295 --> 01:17:41,994
ALL I WANTED TO DO
WAS TAKE MY FUCKIN' FAMILY
1692
01:17:41,996 --> 01:17:43,795
ON A FUCKIN' TRIP
TO WALLEY WORLD
1693
01:17:43,797 --> 01:17:45,630
AND RIDE
THE FUCKING VELOCIRAPTOR!
1694
01:17:45,632 --> 01:17:48,798
OW!
THERE'S A ROCK IN THAT.
1695
01:17:50,734 --> 01:17:52,267
I GUESS I'M THE ASSHOLE
1696
01:17:52,269 --> 01:17:54,102
FOR TRYING TO BRING MY FAMILY
CLOSER TOGETHER, RIGHT?
1697
01:17:54,104 --> 01:17:55,336
WHAT DO I GET?
1698
01:17:55,338 --> 01:17:56,570
KIDS WHO DON'T
WANNA BE WITH ME,
1699
01:17:56,572 --> 01:17:57,737
AND A WIFE WHO'S MISERABLE.
1700
01:17:57,739 --> 01:17:59,472
-RUSS.
-OH, COME ON, DEBBIE.
1701
01:17:59,474 --> 01:18:01,674
YOU KNOW IT'S TRUE.
YOU THINK YOU SETTLED FOR ME.
1702
01:18:01,676 --> 01:18:03,976
YOU THINK I'M A LOSER
REGIONAL PILOT.
1703
01:18:03,978 --> 01:18:05,510
WELL, GUESS WHAT?
1704
01:18:05,512 --> 01:18:08,279
I GET OFFERS FROM INTERNATIONAL
CARRIERS ALL THE TIME,
1705
01:18:08,281 --> 01:18:09,446
AND I TURN THEM DOWN.
1706
01:18:09,448 --> 01:18:10,580
WHY?
1707
01:18:10,582 --> 01:18:11,948
BECAUSE
I DON'T WANNA BE AWAY
1708
01:18:11,950 --> 01:18:13,416
FROM YOU AND THE KIDS
THAT LONG.
1709
01:18:13,418 --> 01:18:14,950
I'M AN IDIOT!
1710
01:18:14,952 --> 01:18:17,118
I SHOULD TAKE
ONE OF THOSE JOBS
1711
01:18:17,120 --> 01:18:19,687
AND FLY OFF
TO THE PYRAMIDS OF ZAMBEZI
1712
01:18:19,689 --> 01:18:23,357
AND THE LOST GARDENS
OF WHEREVER THE FUCK!
1713
01:18:23,359 --> 01:18:25,292
JUST FORGET IT.
1714
01:18:25,294 --> 01:18:28,595
FORGET THIS WHOLE,
STUPID TRIP.
1715
01:18:28,597 --> 01:18:30,263
YOU PEOPLE ARE ON YOUR OWN.
1716
01:18:30,265 --> 01:18:32,665
I'M SURE YOU'LL FIND
A BETTER HUSBAND AND FATHER.
1717
01:18:32,667 --> 01:18:35,868
A COWBOY
WITH A HUGE SIX-PACK
1718
01:18:35,870 --> 01:18:41,005
WHO WILL TAKE YOU TO PARIS
AND WRESTLING AND...TO BOOKS.
1719
01:18:41,007 --> 01:18:42,573
WHAT --
1720
01:18:43,675 --> 01:18:44,808
WAIT,
WHERE ARE YOU GOING?
1721
01:18:44,810 --> 01:18:47,310
FUCK IF I KNOW!
1722
01:18:47,312 --> 01:18:49,779
OW! GOD!
1723
01:18:49,781 --> 01:18:52,881
THESE TUMBLEWEEDS ARE ALL FILLED
WITH THINGS THAT ARE HARD!
1724
01:19:01,289 --> 01:19:02,322
WHAT THE...
1725
01:19:09,662 --> 01:19:11,729
Oh, no.
1726
01:19:13,331 --> 01:19:14,798
HELP.
1727
01:19:14,800 --> 01:19:16,566
HELP!
1728
01:19:16,568 --> 01:19:18,134
HELP!
1729
01:19:18,136 --> 01:19:20,136
HELP!
1730
01:19:20,138 --> 01:19:21,170
STOP!
1731
01:19:21,172 --> 01:19:22,871
COME ON.
GO, GO, GO!
1732
01:19:23,339 --> 01:19:24,972
HELP!
1733
01:19:27,041 --> 01:19:29,575
NO!
1734
01:19:29,577 --> 01:19:32,044
HELP!
1735
01:19:42,721 --> 01:19:44,888
DON'T YOU KILL HIM!
DAD!
1736
01:19:44,890 --> 01:19:46,222
I'M SO SORRY.
1737
01:19:46,224 --> 01:19:48,657
WHEN I CALLED YOU A PEDOPHILE,
I WAS --
1738
01:19:48,659 --> 01:19:50,025
NO!
NO, NO, NO, NO!
1739
01:19:50,027 --> 01:19:53,728
NO! NOT --
NOT IN FRONT OF MY FAMILY!
1740
01:19:53,730 --> 01:19:56,330
YOUR WIFE LEFT THIS
IN A TRUCK STOP IN MISSOURI.
1741
01:19:56,332 --> 01:19:58,765
THOUGHT YOU MIGHT
WANT IT BACK.
1742
01:19:58,767 --> 01:20:00,600
OH, MY GOD.
1743
01:20:00,602 --> 01:20:02,234
WAIT! WAIT!
1744
01:20:02,236 --> 01:20:05,704
IS THAT MY RING?
1745
01:20:05,706 --> 01:20:08,273
THIS MAN'S BEEN TRYING TO
RETURN IT TO US THE WHOLE TIME.
1746
01:20:09,709 --> 01:20:11,842
I DON'T KNOW
HOW I COULD EVER THANK YOU.
1747
01:20:11,844 --> 01:20:13,677
NO THANKS NECESSARY.
1748
01:20:13,679 --> 01:20:15,278
IT WAS ON MY WAY.
1749
01:20:15,280 --> 01:20:17,346
SO YOU'RE NOT A RAPIST?
1750
01:20:21,918 --> 01:20:24,786
LOOKS LIKE YOUR CAR'S
PRETTY MESSED UP.
1751
01:20:24,788 --> 01:20:26,387
WHERE YOU HEADED?
1752
01:20:26,389 --> 01:20:30,423
UM...
1753
01:20:30,425 --> 01:20:32,024
HOME, I GUESS.
1754
01:20:32,026 --> 01:20:34,559
WELL, I CAN TAKE YOU
AS FAR AS SAN FRANCISCO.
1755
01:20:34,561 --> 01:20:36,027
WILL THAT HELP?
1756
01:20:37,229 --> 01:20:40,364
YEAH.
YEAH, TH-THAT'LL WORK.
1757
01:20:40,366 --> 01:20:42,933
THANK YOU.
ALL RIGHT, COME ON, GUYS.
1758
01:20:42,935 --> 01:20:43,900
THANK YOU.
1759
01:20:47,638 --> 01:20:48,771
HE STILL
DIDN'T ANSWER ME.
1760
01:20:48,773 --> 01:20:50,973
OH, KEVIN.
1761
01:21:06,153 --> 01:21:08,920
WELL, THANKS FOR THE RIDE.
REALLY APPRECIATE IT.
1762
01:21:08,922 --> 01:21:10,788
HEY, YOU KNOW,
YOU NEVER TOLD US
1763
01:21:10,790 --> 01:21:12,055
WHY YOU KEEP THAT TEDDY BEAR
ON THE FRONT OF YOUR TRUCK.
1764
01:21:12,057 --> 01:21:13,556
OH, YEAH.
1765
01:21:13,558 --> 01:21:15,324
OH, IT MAKES THE KIDS
FEEL MORE COMFORTABLE.
1766
01:21:15,326 --> 01:21:16,992
OH, YEAH?
YOU -- YOU HAVE KIDS?
1767
01:21:16,994 --> 01:21:19,094
NOPE.
1768
01:21:19,096 --> 01:21:20,095
RIGHT. TAKE CARE.
1769
01:21:25,301 --> 01:21:28,435
WELL,
I GUESS THAT'S THAT.
1770
01:21:28,437 --> 01:21:29,636
YEAH.
1771
01:21:29,638 --> 01:21:31,304
WE'LL GET A FLIGHT HOME
TOMORROW.
1772
01:21:31,306 --> 01:21:32,905
DO NOT STAY HERE!
1773
01:21:32,907 --> 01:21:34,606
IT'S THE WORST BED AND BREAKFAST
WE'VE EVER BEEN TO!
1774
01:21:34,608 --> 01:21:36,274
THEY OUGHTA
SHUT THIS PLACE DOWN!
1775
01:21:36,276 --> 01:21:38,409
THE OWNER IS A LUNATIC!
1776
01:21:38,411 --> 01:21:40,778
YOU ALL COME BACK NOW,
YA HEAR?
1777
01:21:40,780 --> 01:21:42,980
HEY!
1778
01:21:42,982 --> 01:21:44,648
LOOK WHO MADE IT!
1779
01:21:44,650 --> 01:21:45,815
ELLEN!
1780
01:21:45,817 --> 01:21:46,816
OH, THERE YOU ARE.
THEY'RE HERE!
1781
01:21:46,818 --> 01:21:47,950
HI, DAD.
1782
01:21:47,952 --> 01:21:50,252
WE WERE SO HAPPY
TO GET THAT CALL.
1783
01:21:50,254 --> 01:21:51,620
HOW WAS YOUR TRIP?
1784
01:21:51,622 --> 01:21:54,155
-WELL, IT'S A LONG STORY.
-GIVE ME A HUG.
1785
01:21:54,157 --> 01:21:56,524
-HI, GRANDPA.
-COME HERE, YOU TWO.
1786
01:21:56,526 --> 01:21:57,925
OH, MY GOSH!
1787
01:21:57,927 --> 01:21:59,026
YOU'RE GETTIN' SO BIG!
1788
01:21:59,028 --> 01:22:00,660
HEY, COME ON,
LET'S GO INSIDE.
1789
01:22:00,662 --> 01:22:03,095
-GRANDPA, YOU DON'T HAVE TO.
-NO, I CAN DO IT. REALLY.
1790
01:22:03,097 --> 01:22:04,362
-OH, RUSS.
-CLARK.
1791
01:22:04,364 --> 01:22:05,963
OH, NO. I GOT THIS.
1792
01:22:05,965 --> 01:22:07,130
I'M FINE.
1793
01:22:07,132 --> 01:22:09,665
OW.
THIS REALLY HURTS.
1794
01:22:09,667 --> 01:22:11,600
AND THAT'S WHEN
THE MUFFIN MADE THE CAR EXPLODE.
1795
01:22:11,602 --> 01:22:13,001
BUT IT DIDN'T REALLY MATTER
1796
01:22:13,003 --> 01:22:14,335
BECAUSE OUR LUGGAGE
AND ALL OF OUR STUFF
1797
01:22:14,337 --> 01:22:15,669
HAD ALREADY BEEN STOLEN
1798
01:22:15,671 --> 01:22:16,970
BY THE GUY WITH THE RAT
ON HIS SHOULDER.
1799
01:22:16,972 --> 01:22:18,638
THEY EVEN TOOK
MY GUITAR.
1800
01:22:18,640 --> 01:22:20,640
OH, JAMES, THAT'S TERRIBLE.
1801
01:22:20,642 --> 01:22:22,108
A MUSICIAN WITHOUT
HIS INSTRUMENT
1802
01:22:22,110 --> 01:22:26,311
IS AS BAD AS A SHOEMAKER
WITHOUT A TOILET SEAT.
1803
01:22:26,313 --> 01:22:28,579
I MAY HAVE SOMETHING FOR YOU.
1804
01:22:40,558 --> 01:22:41,958
IT'S VERY FRAGILE.
LOOK.
1805
01:22:41,960 --> 01:22:44,293
-YOU TAKE CARE OF THAT.
-WOW, GRANDPA.
1806
01:22:44,295 --> 01:22:46,128
THANK YOU SO MUCH.
1807
01:22:46,130 --> 01:22:47,796
-COOL!
-YEAH!
1808
01:22:47,798 --> 01:22:48,997
DOESN'T LOOK LIKE MUCH,
1809
01:22:48,999 --> 01:22:50,798
BUT THAT'S
A VERY SPECIAL GUITAR.
1810
01:22:50,800 --> 01:22:52,633
IT WAS GIVEN TO ME
BY BOB DILLON.
1811
01:22:52,635 --> 01:22:53,867
THE BOB DYLAN?
1812
01:22:53,869 --> 01:22:55,669
NO.
A BOB DILLON.
1813
01:22:55,671 --> 01:22:56,936
D-I-L-L-O-N.
1814
01:22:56,938 --> 01:22:59,772
AN ACCOUNTANT FRIEND
OF MINE.
1815
01:22:59,774 --> 01:23:02,007
BUT IT WAS GIVEN TO HIM
BY JIMMY HENDRICKS.
1816
01:23:02,009 --> 01:23:03,575
THE JIMI HENDRIX?
1817
01:23:03,577 --> 01:23:05,343
NO.
1818
01:23:05,345 --> 01:23:07,278
SO HOW'S
THE B-AND-B BUSINESS GOING?
1819
01:23:07,280 --> 01:23:09,913
WE LOVE IT, ARE YOU KIDDING?
IT'S A GREAT FIT FOR US.
1820
01:23:09,915 --> 01:23:11,147
WE LOVE VISITORS.
1821
01:23:11,149 --> 01:23:13,649
WE LOVE HAVING PEOPLE AROUND
TO CARE FOR.
1822
01:23:13,651 --> 01:23:14,950
WE'RE PEOPLE PEOPLE.
1823
01:23:14,952 --> 01:23:16,151
HEY, GUYS.
YOU MIND IF WE JOIN YOU?
1824
01:23:16,153 --> 01:23:18,018
WE'RE OCCUPIED RIGHT NOW.
BEAT IT.
1825
01:23:20,788 --> 01:23:22,488
HMM. ALL RIGHT, GUYS,
IT'S GETTIN' LATE.
1826
01:23:22,490 --> 01:23:23,956
WHY DON'T YOU GO TO BED, OKAY?
1827
01:23:23,958 --> 01:23:25,424
-OKAY, MOM.
-YEAH. I'LL RUN YOU UPSTAIRS.
1828
01:23:25,426 --> 01:23:26,591
GOOD NIGHT,
GRANDMA AND GRANDPA.
1829
01:23:26,593 --> 01:23:28,025
-NIGHTY-NIGHT.
-THANK YOU.
1830
01:23:28,027 --> 01:23:30,660
SLEEP TIGHT.
1831
01:23:30,662 --> 01:23:33,129
WELL, YOU'VE CERTAINLY
HAD AN ADVENTURE.
1832
01:23:33,131 --> 01:23:34,430
WELL, YES.
1833
01:23:34,432 --> 01:23:35,964
"ADVENTURE"
IS ONE WAY TO PUT IT.
1834
01:23:37,133 --> 01:23:38,132
HOW'S AUDREY?
1835
01:23:38,134 --> 01:23:39,700
OH, SHE'S GREAT.
1836
01:23:39,702 --> 01:23:42,436
YEAH, SHE AND STONE,
THEY SEEM TO BE VERY HAPPY.
1837
01:23:42,438 --> 01:23:43,837
KEY WORD THERE IS "SEEM."
1838
01:23:43,839 --> 01:23:44,971
WHAT DO YOU MEAN?
1839
01:23:44,973 --> 01:23:46,505
THEIR MARRIAGE IS
A SHAM.
1840
01:23:46,507 --> 01:23:47,873
WHAT?
1841
01:23:47,875 --> 01:23:49,207
WELL, THEY SLEEP AROUND
ON EACH OTHER.
1842
01:23:49,209 --> 01:23:50,608
BEEN DOIN' IT FOR YEARS.
1843
01:23:50,610 --> 01:23:52,209
OH, MY GOSH.
1844
01:23:52,211 --> 01:23:55,612
I JUST WISH AUDREY HAD FOUND
A MORE SOLID MARRIAGE
1845
01:23:55,614 --> 01:23:57,080
LIKE YOU AND RUSTY.
1846
01:24:11,528 --> 01:24:13,262
HEY, RUSS, CAN WE TALK?
1847
01:24:15,498 --> 01:24:18,332
I KNEW
WE HAD SOME PROBLEMS.
1848
01:24:18,334 --> 01:24:19,833
IS IT THIS BAD?
1849
01:24:19,835 --> 01:24:22,468
IS OUR MARRIAGE DYING?
1850
01:24:22,470 --> 01:24:23,902
NO.
1851
01:24:23,904 --> 01:24:27,005
NO, A MARRIAGE ONLY DIES
WHEN YOU STOP TRYING.
1852
01:24:27,007 --> 01:24:30,641
AND YOU HAVE NEVER
STOPPED TRYING.
1853
01:24:30,643 --> 01:24:33,510
I JUST THINK
MAYBE I DID.
1854
01:24:33,512 --> 01:24:35,812
WHAT DO YOU MEAN?
1855
01:24:35,814 --> 01:24:38,014
I'VE ONLY BEEN THINKING
ABOUT MYSELF, YOU KNOW?
1856
01:24:38,016 --> 01:24:39,582
I WANTED TO
CHANGE THE ROUTINE,
1857
01:24:39,584 --> 01:24:41,517
AND I WANT TO GO ON
EXOTIC TRIPS AND...
1858
01:24:41,519 --> 01:24:45,487
YEAH, THERE'S NOTHING WRONG
WITH THAT.
1859
01:24:45,489 --> 01:24:47,822
I WAS CRAZY TO THINK
I COULD MAKE US CLOSER
1860
01:24:47,824 --> 01:24:49,723
BY LOCKING US IN A CAR
FOR A WEEK.
1861
01:24:49,725 --> 01:24:52,058
NO, BUT YOU WERE DOING THAT
FOR US.
1862
01:24:52,060 --> 01:24:54,060
YOU HAVE BEEN TRYING
SO HARD
1863
01:24:54,062 --> 01:24:57,196
TO MAKE THIS TRIP MEMORABLE
FOR ME AND THE KIDS, AND...
1864
01:24:57,198 --> 01:24:58,697
AND I DIDN'T
APPRECIATE THAT.
1865
01:24:58,699 --> 01:25:00,165
BUT WHY WOULD YOU?
1866
01:25:00,167 --> 01:25:03,768
I MEAN, I'VE PUT YOU
THROUGH SOME SERIOUS SHIT.
1867
01:25:03,770 --> 01:25:06,270
LITERALLY,
A POOL OF SHIT IN ARKANSAS.
1868
01:25:09,041 --> 01:25:11,207
YOU DESERVE BETTER.
1869
01:25:11,209 --> 01:25:14,376
WHAT, BETTER THAN YOU?
1870
01:25:14,378 --> 01:25:16,911
HOW MANY MEN
WOULD SACRIFICE THEIR CAREERS
1871
01:25:16,913 --> 01:25:18,879
FOR THEIR FAMILY
LIKE YOU HAVE?
1872
01:25:18,881 --> 01:25:21,882
OH, I DIDN'T
SACRIFICE ANYTHING.
1873
01:25:21,884 --> 01:25:24,251
I HAVE EVERYTHING
I'VE EVER WANTED.
1874
01:25:36,629 --> 01:25:37,962
DEBBIE.
1875
01:25:37,964 --> 01:25:39,229
YEAH?
1876
01:25:39,231 --> 01:25:41,864
WILL YOU CONTINUE
TO BE MY WIFE?
1877
01:25:41,866 --> 01:25:43,932
I WAS WONDERING WHEN YOU WERE
GONNA GIVE THAT BACK TO ME.
1878
01:25:43,934 --> 01:25:46,301
I WAS WONDERING
IF YOU STILL WANTED IT.
1879
01:25:46,303 --> 01:25:48,636
I DO.
1880
01:25:55,443 --> 01:25:56,643
WAIT A MINUTE.
1881
01:25:56,645 --> 01:25:58,077
ARE WE GONNA DO THIS?
1882
01:25:58,079 --> 01:25:59,311
OH, YEAH.
1883
01:25:59,313 --> 01:26:00,612
I'M GONNA POUND THE SHIT
OUT OF YOU.
1884
01:26:00,614 --> 01:26:01,746
-RUSS!
-WHAT?
1885
01:26:01,748 --> 01:26:03,547
LOCK THE DOOR.
1886
01:26:03,549 --> 01:26:06,383
I'M GONNA LOCK THE SHIT
OUT OF THAT DOOR.
1887
01:26:08,954 --> 01:26:10,420
HEY, DAD.
1888
01:26:10,422 --> 01:26:12,221
MORNING, RUSTY.
1889
01:26:12,223 --> 01:26:14,823
YOU THINK YOU COULD DRIVE US
TO THE AIRPORT THIS AFTERNOON?
1890
01:26:14,825 --> 01:26:16,791
THERE'S A FLIGHT
BACK TO CHICAGO AT 4:00.
1891
01:26:16,793 --> 01:26:18,125
CHICAGO?
1892
01:26:18,127 --> 01:26:19,726
WHAT ABOUT WALLEY WORLD?
1893
01:26:19,728 --> 01:26:23,296
OH, NO.
WE, UH -- WE'VE HAD ENOUGH.
1894
01:26:23,298 --> 01:26:24,730
THIS TRIP'S BEEN
A NIGHTMARE.
1895
01:26:24,732 --> 01:26:27,265
WELL, THAT'S WHAT
FAMILY VACATIONS ARE.
1896
01:26:27,267 --> 01:26:29,233
BUT YOU CAN'T GIVE UP,
RUSS.
1897
01:26:29,235 --> 01:26:30,667
WELL, WHY NOT?
1898
01:26:30,669 --> 01:26:33,403
I MEAN, THEY ALWAYS SAY
"IT'S NOT THE DESTINATION,
1899
01:26:33,405 --> 01:26:34,971
IT'S THE JOURNEY," RIGHT?
1900
01:26:34,973 --> 01:26:36,605
THE JOURNEY SUCKS.
1901
01:26:36,607 --> 01:26:39,307
THAT'S WHAT MAKES YOU
APPRECIATE THE DESTINATION.
1902
01:26:39,309 --> 01:26:41,809
YOU HAD A DREAM TO TAKE
YOUR FAMILY TO WALLEY WORLD.
1903
01:26:41,811 --> 01:26:43,777
NEVER LET THAT GO.
1904
01:26:43,779 --> 01:26:45,812
I KNOW I DIDN'T.
1905
01:26:49,415 --> 01:26:51,749
WELL, HOW WOULD
WE EVEN GET TO WALLEY WORLD?
1906
01:26:51,751 --> 01:26:52,816
WE DON'T HAVE A CAR.
1907
01:26:52,818 --> 01:26:55,652
HEY, COME ON.
1908
01:26:55,654 --> 01:26:57,920
YOU LEAVE THAT TO ME.
1909
01:27:08,530 --> 01:27:10,464
OOPS.
WRONG DOOR.
1910
01:27:25,144 --> 01:27:27,712
COULD I, UH,
TAKE THE NISSAN?
1911
01:27:27,714 --> 01:27:30,214
NO. NO.
1912
01:27:41,659 --> 01:27:44,159
WAIT, DAD, I THOUGHT
WE WERE GOING TO THE AIRPORT.
1913
01:27:44,161 --> 01:27:45,894
BOYS, WHEN YOUR FATHER
MAKES YOU A PROMISE,
1914
01:27:45,896 --> 01:27:47,128
HE KEEPS IT.
1915
01:27:47,130 --> 01:27:49,196
-THAT'S NOT RIGHT.
-THIS SUCKS.
1916
01:28:08,980 --> 01:28:10,145
WOW.
1917
01:28:10,147 --> 01:28:12,714
THIS PLACE IS HUGE.
1918
01:28:12,716 --> 01:28:14,515
THIS IS DOPE AS FUCK.
1919
01:28:14,517 --> 01:28:15,849
-KEVIN.
-KEVIN.
1920
01:28:15,851 --> 01:28:18,818
TOLD YOU YOU GUYS
WOULD LOVE IT, RIGHT?
1921
01:28:18,820 --> 01:28:21,220
HEY, DAD.
1922
01:28:21,222 --> 01:28:23,222
IT REALLY IS
DOPE AS FUCK.
1923
01:28:23,224 --> 01:28:24,323
I KNOW, RIGHT?
1924
01:28:24,325 --> 01:28:25,557
-GUYS!
-OH, WAIT!
1925
01:28:30,828 --> 01:28:34,230
THERE SHE IS.
THE VELOCIRAPTOR.
1926
01:28:34,232 --> 01:28:36,031
I CAN'T BELIEVE
WE ACTUALLY MADE IT.
1927
01:28:36,033 --> 01:28:37,032
I KNOW.
1928
01:28:37,034 --> 01:28:38,433
MWAH!
1929
01:28:38,435 --> 01:28:39,500
YOU GUYS READY
FOR THE RIDE OF YOUR LIFE?
1930
01:28:39,502 --> 01:28:40,901
-OH, YEAH.
-OH, HELLS YEAH.
1931
01:28:40,903 --> 01:28:43,069
IF I'M BEING HONEST,
IT LOOKS A LITTLE DAUNTING.
1932
01:28:43,071 --> 01:28:45,704
COME ON.
RACE YOU TO THE RIDE.
1933
01:28:45,706 --> 01:28:47,272
YEAH, GO, GO! FASTER!
COME ON!
1934
01:29:01,220 --> 01:29:04,288
TWO MORE HOURS, GUYS.
1935
01:29:07,925 --> 01:29:10,192
OH, MY GOSH.
1936
01:29:10,194 --> 01:29:12,060
ALL RIGHT, GUYS.
GET PSYCHED!
1937
01:29:12,062 --> 01:29:13,428
YES!
1938
01:29:13,430 --> 01:29:15,496
THIS IS IT! THIS IS WHY WE CAME
ALL THIS WAY.
1939
01:29:19,767 --> 01:29:21,968
EXCUSE US.
1940
01:29:22,869 --> 01:29:24,135
WHAT WAS THAT?
1941
01:29:24,137 --> 01:29:25,703
LAST RIDE TONIGHT.
PARK'S CLOSIN'.
1942
01:29:25,705 --> 01:29:28,772
-NO, WE WERE NEXT.
-WHAT?
1943
01:29:28,774 --> 01:29:30,073
OH, NO, NO.
THAT'S NOT OKAY.
1944
01:29:30,075 --> 01:29:31,474
-THAT'S NOT --
-THIS IS RIDICULOUS.
1945
01:29:31,476 --> 01:29:33,442
HEY.
EXCUSE ME.
1946
01:29:33,444 --> 01:29:35,043
YOU JUST
CUT IN FRONT OF US.
1947
01:29:35,045 --> 01:29:36,978
NO, SEE,
WE BOUGHT THE PLATINUM PASS
1948
01:29:36,980 --> 01:29:38,579
SO WE GET TO SKIP
THE LINES.
1949
01:29:38,581 --> 01:29:40,247
FIFTH TIME TODAY
ON THIS ONE.
1950
01:29:40,249 --> 01:29:44,584
RIGHT, WELL, W-W-WE JUST DROVE
2,500 MILES TO RIDE THIS RIDE
1951
01:29:44,586 --> 01:29:47,320
SO YOU CAN'T JUST TAKE
OUR SPOT.
1952
01:29:47,322 --> 01:29:49,789
WAIT A MINUTE, YOU...
1953
01:29:49,791 --> 01:29:51,290
ECONO AIR.
1954
01:29:51,292 --> 01:29:52,391
YEAH?
1955
01:29:52,393 --> 01:29:53,925
GOOD TO SEE YA.
1956
01:29:53,927 --> 01:29:55,593
ALL RIGHT,
I'LL TELL YOU WHAT.
1957
01:29:55,595 --> 01:29:59,196
WHY DON'T YOU AND YOUR FAMILY
GO FUCK YOURSELVES.
1958
01:30:04,001 --> 01:30:06,001
I'M SORRY, GUYS.
1959
01:30:07,837 --> 01:30:09,303
OH, MY GOD!
1960
01:30:11,806 --> 01:30:13,306
OKAY.
1961
01:30:13,308 --> 01:30:15,675
YOU'RE A DEAD MAN.
1962
01:30:23,182 --> 01:30:24,282
GET OFF!
1963
01:30:24,284 --> 01:30:25,850
OH, IT'S ON.
1964
01:30:25,852 --> 01:30:26,917
KEVIN, NO!
1965
01:30:30,389 --> 01:30:32,389
WAIT, JAMES.
NO, YOU'RE NOT GONNA FIGHT.
1966
01:30:32,391 --> 01:30:33,790
I'M NOT GONNA STAND HERE
LIKE A LITTLE BITCH.
1967
01:30:33,792 --> 01:30:35,424
WHAT?!
1968
01:30:35,426 --> 01:30:37,526
OH, SHIT!
1969
01:31:10,619 --> 01:31:12,719
NO, KEVIN.
KEVIN, NO.
1970
01:31:12,721 --> 01:31:14,320
KEVIN, COME ON.
1971
01:31:15,622 --> 01:31:18,323
YOU PEOPLE
ARE FUCKING CRAZY!
1972
01:31:18,325 --> 01:31:19,991
WHAT KIND OF A FAMILY
ARE YOU?
1973
01:31:19,993 --> 01:31:21,792
WE'RE THE GRISWOLDS!
1974
01:31:21,794 --> 01:31:26,228
SEE YOU AROUND
YOU PIECE OF ASS!
1975
01:31:26,230 --> 01:31:27,963
-LET'S DO THIS.
-ALL RIGHT.
1976
01:31:27,965 --> 01:31:29,764
OH, MAN. I HAVEN'T BEEN
IN A FIGHT LIKE THAT FOR YEARS.
1977
01:31:29,766 --> 01:31:32,566
FIRST CAR, ALL RIGHT!
1978
01:31:32,568 --> 01:31:34,901
MAN, OUR FAMILY
FUCKED THAT FAMILY UP.
1979
01:31:34,903 --> 01:31:36,502
WE DID.
1980
01:31:36,504 --> 01:31:38,303
DID YOU SEE HOW I SCRATCHED
THAT GIRL'S ARM?
1981
01:31:38,305 --> 01:31:40,438
OH, I SAW IT, HONEY.
YOU GAVE HER A GOOD SCRATCH.
1982
01:31:40,440 --> 01:31:41,939
YEAH, MY FINGERS
STILL HURT A LITTLE,
1983
01:31:41,941 --> 01:31:42,940
BUT I THINK I'LL BE OKAY.
1984
01:31:42,942 --> 01:31:44,608
OH, BOY.
HERE WE GO!
1985
01:31:44,610 --> 01:31:46,276
-HOLD ON.
-OH, GOSH!
1986
01:33:06,979 --> 01:33:08,044
RUSS?
1987
01:33:08,046 --> 01:33:09,578
YEAH-HUH?
1988
01:33:09,580 --> 01:33:12,647
IS IT SUPPOSED TO
STAY UPSIDE-DOWN LIKE THIS?
1989
01:33:12,649 --> 01:33:14,482
YEAH.
I DON'T THINK SO.
1990
01:33:14,484 --> 01:33:15,483
OH.
1991
01:33:15,485 --> 01:33:17,852
DAD, ARE WE STUCK?
1992
01:33:17,854 --> 01:33:19,854
LOOKS THAT WAY, PAL.
1993
01:33:19,856 --> 01:33:22,089
MY EYES,
THEY'RE STARTING TO BULGE.
1994
01:33:22,091 --> 01:33:24,658
I'M SURE
THEY'LL HAVE US DOWN ANY MINUTE.
1995
01:33:30,663 --> 01:33:34,231
WELL, GUYS, WHAT'D YOU THINK
OF WALLEY WORLD?
1996
01:33:36,500 --> 01:33:38,267
YEAH.
1997
01:33:39,235 --> 01:33:40,735
LISTEN, BOYS.
1998
01:33:40,737 --> 01:33:42,103
I CAN'T TELL YOU HOW MUCH
IT'S MEANT TO ME
1999
01:33:42,105 --> 01:33:43,504
TO SPEND ALL THIS TIME
WITH YOU.
2000
01:33:43,506 --> 01:33:46,740
I LOVE YOU
MORE THAN ANYTHING IN THE WORLD.
2001
01:33:46,742 --> 01:33:50,576
AND IF I COULD, I'D SPEND
EVERY SINGLE DAY WITH YOU.
2002
01:33:50,578 --> 01:33:52,611
SO, WE'LL SEE YOU
IN A WEEK.
2003
01:33:52,613 --> 01:33:54,079
WAIT,
WHAT'S GOING ON?
2004
01:33:54,081 --> 01:33:55,847
PETERSONS ARE GONNA PICK YOU UP
AT O'HARE,
2005
01:33:55,849 --> 01:33:56,881
AND YOU'LL STAY WITH THEM.
2006
01:33:56,883 --> 01:33:59,049
WHERE ARE WE GOING?
2007
01:33:59,051 --> 01:34:02,252
SOMEPLACE I SHOULDA TAKEN YOU
A LONG TIME AGO.
2008
01:34:02,254 --> 01:34:04,687
HOW DID YOU GET
FREE TICKETS TO PARIS?
2009
01:34:04,689 --> 01:34:06,855
I USED MY CONNECTIONS
AS A PILOT.
2010
01:34:06,857 --> 01:34:09,524
OH, YOU'RE AMAZING.
2011
01:34:09,526 --> 01:34:11,893
WELL, YOU ARE MY QUEEN,
2012
01:34:11,895 --> 01:34:13,694
AND YOU DESERVE
TO BE TREATED LIKE ONE.
2013
01:34:19,267 --> 01:34:23,034
I KNOW
IT'S NOT EXACTLY FIRST-CLASS
2014
01:34:23,036 --> 01:34:24,201
OR COACH.
2015
01:34:24,203 --> 01:34:26,636
HONEY,
IT'S PERFECT.
2016
01:34:26,638 --> 01:34:28,170
YEAH?
2017
01:34:38,212 --> 01:34:41,080
SO HOW LONG
IS THE FLIGHT?
2018
01:34:41,082 --> 01:34:42,114
12 HOURS.
2019
01:34:43,917 --> 01:34:45,549
PERFECT.