1
00:00:08,175 --> 00:00:09,801
SARA:
I just want to be able to go out
2
00:00:09,801 --> 00:00:11,762
and have a nice night for once.
Is that too much to ask?
3
00:00:11,762 --> 00:00:13,138
DAVE: One thing I fuck up
in the last nine years.
4
00:00:13,138 --> 00:00:14,723
SARA: One thing?
DAVE: Eight years in a row...
5
00:00:14,723 --> 00:00:16,141
SARA:
It's literally the most important things
6
00:00:16,141 --> 00:00:17,726
you have to remember in a relationship.
7
00:00:17,726 --> 00:00:18,727
DAVE: That's not the right way
to use "literally".
8
00:00:18,727 --> 00:00:20,187
SARA:
Uh, I know the difference
9
00:00:20,187 --> 00:00:22,105
between literal and figurative
language, Dave!
10
00:00:22,105 --> 00:00:23,690
DAVE: You get something on me
and never let it go.
11
00:00:23,690 --> 00:00:25,108
Come on!
I knew it was your birthday!
12
00:00:25,108 --> 00:00:27,069
SARA:
'Cause you saw it on Facebook!
13
00:00:27,069 --> 00:00:28,654
DAVE: That's how most people
remember birthdays!
14
00:00:28,654 --> 00:00:30,113
SARA: I just want
a little bit of respect, Dave.
15
00:00:30,113 --> 00:00:32,115
DAVE: Why does everything
have to be an argument?
16
00:00:32,115 --> 00:00:34,117
SARA: Why do you think?!
DAVE: You're the one raising your voice!
17
00:00:34,117 --> 00:00:36,078
SARA:
'Cause it's the only way I can be heard!
18
00:00:36,078 --> 00:00:37,746
You're like a child!
DAVE: I'm like a child?
19
00:00:37,746 --> 00:00:38,914
SARA:
Yeah, you're like a child!
20
00:00:38,914 --> 00:00:41,667
DAVE: You're the one shouting at me!
You started shouting first!
21
00:00:41,667 --> 00:00:43,752
‐ I knew this was coming.
‐ Not one present!
22
00:00:43,752 --> 00:00:45,671
‐ There's a version of this‐‐
there's a version of this
23
00:00:45,671 --> 00:00:46,922
where we've had
a really lovely time together.
24
00:00:46,922 --> 00:00:48,757
‐ Just buy me a fucking present.
25
00:00:48,757 --> 00:00:50,384
Maybe that would be a nice thing to do.
26
00:00:50,384 --> 00:00:53,720
[both continue shouting]
27
00:00:53,720 --> 00:00:56,723
♪ upbeat jazz music ♪
28
00:01:02,354 --> 00:01:04,189
‐ Just because Stevie cooks one meal...
SARA: Yeah?
29
00:01:04,189 --> 00:01:06,358
...doesn't mean suddenly we all
have to know how to wash rice!
30
00:01:06,358 --> 00:01:08,318
‐ What are you fucking
talking about, Dave?!
31
00:01:08,318 --> 00:01:09,653
DAVE:
I'm talking about it's a different thing!
32
00:01:09,653 --> 00:01:12,322
‐ Oh, my God! It's about
being a fucking grown‐up!
33
00:01:12,322 --> 00:01:14,157
‐ I am being a grown‐up!
Have a look!
34
00:01:15,367 --> 00:01:17,369
[feedback screeches]
35
00:01:20,122 --> 00:01:22,082
SARA:
Just get what I asked you!
36
00:01:22,082 --> 00:01:24,126
‐ ...and pumpkin activated...
‐ Just get what I asked you!
37
00:01:24,126 --> 00:01:26,128
‐ ...fucking quinoa‐stuffed...
‐ Not that one! I need this one!
38
00:01:26,128 --> 00:01:27,129
It's pumpkin and red lentil!
39
00:01:27,129 --> 00:01:31,049
I just want to take you home with me.
Yes, I do.
40
00:01:31,049 --> 00:01:34,094
[both shout over one another]
41
00:01:41,810 --> 00:01:43,729
SARA [screaming]:
Listen! Dave!
42
00:01:43,729 --> 00:01:45,731
Fucking listen to me!
43
00:01:45,731 --> 00:01:47,399
No! I said no. No!
44
00:01:47,399 --> 00:01:49,276
‐ No! Listen.
45
00:01:49,276 --> 00:01:52,196
Calm down! Calm down! Listen!
46
00:01:52,196 --> 00:01:53,780
[plays tuneless noise]
47
00:01:55,449 --> 00:01:56,783
‐ Mate, move on. Move on.
48
00:01:57,784 --> 00:01:59,745
Mate, you've got to move on.
Come on. Get a move on.
49
00:01:59,745 --> 00:02:01,163
‐ Pack it up, get out of here.
‐ What are you doing?
50
00:02:01,163 --> 00:02:02,789
‐ I make an effort every day!
‐ Dave... You don't even...
51
00:02:02,789 --> 00:02:04,875
‐ I'm making an effort
right now being here!
52
00:02:04,875 --> 00:02:07,753
[shouting continues]
53
00:02:07,753 --> 00:02:09,796
DAVE:
I'll get you something next week!
54
00:02:09,796 --> 00:02:11,840
‐ You don't!
You fucking don't, Dave!
55
00:02:11,840 --> 00:02:13,800
‐ Get yourself a present,
wrap it up from me! See if I care!
56
00:02:13,800 --> 00:02:15,761
‐ Oh, my God!
57
00:02:15,761 --> 00:02:17,804
♪ jazzy music continues ♪
58
00:02:23,769 --> 00:02:26,730
‐ [no audio]
‐ ♪ gentle piano music ♪
59
00:02:34,363 --> 00:02:36,406
[plays distorted chord]
60
00:02:49,753 --> 00:02:51,797
TEDDY MCGIGGLE:
Well, gosh, gee, golly‐o!
61
00:02:51,797 --> 00:02:54,007
I do love a good song, Frogsie!
62
00:02:54,007 --> 00:02:55,759
‐ [Dave snoring]
FROGSIE: I love singing so much, Teddy!
63
00:02:55,759 --> 00:02:58,136
TEDDY:
And I love singing with you, Frogsie!
64
00:02:58,136 --> 00:02:59,721
[snores]
65
00:02:59,721 --> 00:03:01,723
‐ Mommy says you're staying with us.
66
00:03:02,516 --> 00:03:04,768
How long will you be here?
67
00:03:04,768 --> 00:03:07,604
‐ [coughs]
Go to school, Felix.
68
00:03:07,604 --> 00:03:09,690
‐ I've been to school.
69
00:03:11,191 --> 00:03:12,359
‐ What time is it?
70
00:03:12,359 --> 00:03:14,111
‐ It's Teddy McGiggle time.
71
00:03:14,111 --> 00:03:16,738
‐ Mc... What?! Where's your mom?
72
00:03:16,738 --> 00:03:17,781
‐ At the shops.
73
00:03:17,781 --> 00:03:20,033
If you're staying,
does that mean we can hang out lots?
74
00:03:20,033 --> 00:03:22,703
‐ No. Make me a coffee.
75
00:03:22,703 --> 00:03:25,914
‐ [scoffs] I can't make coffee.
I'm five.
76
00:03:25,914 --> 00:03:27,749
Do you want to play with my toy tractor?
77
00:03:27,749 --> 00:03:28,792
‐ No.
78
00:03:28,792 --> 00:03:31,837
Look, Uncle David hit Mommy's
booze cabinet pretty hard.
79
00:03:31,837 --> 00:03:33,672
Ohh, fuck!
80
00:03:33,672 --> 00:03:35,632
‐ That's a bad word, Uncle David.
81
00:03:35,632 --> 00:03:37,718
TEDDY:
The McGiggle dance!
82
00:03:37,718 --> 00:03:39,261
A‐one, two, three, go!
83
00:03:39,261 --> 00:03:42,764
[silly laughter]
84
00:03:42,764 --> 00:03:45,309
We're coming down under, kiddlywinks!
85
00:03:45,309 --> 00:03:47,019
‐ What's this, Uncle David?
86
00:03:50,355 --> 00:03:51,815
‐ [loud gunfire]
FELIX: Pew, pew! Pew! Pew!
87
00:03:51,815 --> 00:03:54,735
[enemies scream]
‐ Pew! Pew! Pew!
88
00:03:54,735 --> 00:03:57,738
Pew, pew! Pew, pew!
Pew! Pew! Pew!
89
00:03:57,738 --> 00:03:59,740
Pew, pew, pew, pew! Pew, pew!
90
00:03:59,740 --> 00:04:00,782
‐ What do you think you're doing?
91
00:04:00,782 --> 00:04:02,451
DAVE:
Relax. He's really good at it.
92
00:04:02,451 --> 00:04:03,744
Whoa! What are you doing?!
93
00:04:03,744 --> 00:04:04,828
You're not meant to turn it off like that!
94
00:04:04,828 --> 00:04:05,787
You'll damage the hardware!
95
00:04:05,787 --> 00:04:07,331
‐ Don't expose him
to that sort of violence.
96
00:04:07,331 --> 00:04:09,124
‐ It's not real!
‐ That's not the point.
97
00:04:09,124 --> 00:04:11,543
He's five.
What's wrong with you?
98
00:04:11,543 --> 00:04:13,212
Come and help me unpack
the shopping, fluffy duck.
99
00:04:13,212 --> 00:04:14,254
We're having pizza for dinner.
100
00:04:14,254 --> 00:04:16,507
‐ Pizza? Thank fuck! I'm starving!
101
00:04:17,090 --> 00:04:18,467
Oh, fuck off!
102
00:04:19,426 --> 00:04:21,553
Could someone tell me what
the fuck that is meant to be?
103
00:04:21,553 --> 00:04:23,388
TESS: Dave!
‐ Mommy, he did it again.
104
00:04:23,388 --> 00:04:24,765
‐ I will kick you out.
105
00:04:24,765 --> 00:04:26,725
I don't care what you're going through.
106
00:04:28,393 --> 00:04:29,895
‐ What is that?
‐ Tofu.
107
00:04:29,895 --> 00:04:30,771
‐ And this?
108
00:04:30,771 --> 00:04:32,773
‐ It's broccoli.
It's a kind of vegetable.
109
00:04:32,773 --> 00:04:33,815
‐ You like eating this?
110
00:04:33,815 --> 00:04:35,776
‐ Yes. And so does my tractor.
111
00:04:37,611 --> 00:04:39,738
‐ Where's the cheese?
‐ I can't have cheese.
112
00:04:39,738 --> 00:04:41,365
‐ You know he can't have dairy.
He's anaphylactic.
113
00:04:41,365 --> 00:04:43,742
‐ I'm allergic to fish, dairy, eggs,
114
00:04:43,742 --> 00:04:45,160
sesame, nuts, and gluten.
115
00:04:45,160 --> 00:04:47,329
‐ No one's allergic to gluten.
It's a fad.
116
00:04:47,329 --> 00:04:49,331
‐ Don't joke, Dave.
It's a life‐threatening condition.
117
00:04:49,331 --> 00:04:50,541
‐ So is what I'm going through.
118
00:04:50,541 --> 00:04:54,628
‐ [laughing]
Oh, Boo‐Boo!
119
00:04:54,628 --> 00:04:56,547
‐ Why did you call him Boo‐Boo?
120
00:04:56,547 --> 00:04:58,423
‐ It's what I used to call your uncle
when he was your age.
121
00:04:58,423 --> 00:04:59,800
‐ [laughs]
Boo‐Boo!
122
00:04:59,800 --> 00:05:01,718
‐ No, see, you don't get to call me that.
123
00:05:01,718 --> 00:05:04,721
You call me Uncle David,
Uncle Dave, D‐Man, or Big D.
124
00:05:04,721 --> 00:05:06,723
I had too much stuff going on
with the band, all right?
125
00:05:06,723 --> 00:05:07,766
I couldn't get tied down.
126
00:05:07,766 --> 00:05:12,062
‐ Miss Caroline plays the ukulele
and we all sing Taylor Swift songs.
127
00:05:12,062 --> 00:05:15,190
Well, you be sure to tell Miss Caroline
that she can go and suck a bag of dicks.
128
00:05:15,190 --> 00:05:16,066
TESS:
Dave!
129
00:05:16,817 --> 00:05:19,736
‐ Teddy McGiggle says
to sing the bad word song
130
00:05:19,736 --> 00:05:21,780
when you hear a grown‐up say a bad word.
131
00:05:21,780 --> 00:05:24,199
Do you want to hear it?
‐ No.
132
00:05:24,199 --> 00:05:26,785
‐ ♪ Bad word, bad word!
'Cause you said a bad thing ♪
133
00:05:26,785 --> 00:05:28,704
♪ Now we all have to sing ♪
134
00:05:28,704 --> 00:05:29,913
♪ Tra‐la‐la‐la‐la‐la‐la ♪
135
00:05:29,913 --> 00:05:31,748
♪ Tra‐la‐la‐la‐la‐la‐la... ♪
136
00:05:31,748 --> 00:05:34,793
‐ All Sara would ever go on about
was having kids, okay?
137
00:05:34,793 --> 00:05:36,420
That's why we fought all the time.
138
00:05:36,420 --> 00:05:38,547
‐ Dave, there are plenty of things
to be scared of in this world,
139
00:05:38,547 --> 00:05:39,798
but having a kid isn't one of them.
140
00:05:39,798 --> 00:05:41,675
‐ I came out of a test tube.
141
00:05:41,675 --> 00:05:42,801
‐ Yeah, I know you did, Felix.
142
00:05:42,801 --> 00:05:46,763
‐ Dave, there is nothing that says
you have to end up like Dad.
143
00:05:48,765 --> 00:05:51,768
‐ Felix, could you please tell your mom
that I'm now gonna go down to Domino's
144
00:05:51,768 --> 00:05:53,770
and get myself a proper
cheese‐covered pizza,
145
00:05:53,770 --> 00:05:55,147
with a side of gluten?
146
00:05:55,147 --> 00:05:56,732
‐ Mommy, Uncle David‐‐
147
00:05:56,732 --> 00:05:58,066
‐ You don't have to say it, Felix.
148
00:05:58,066 --> 00:06:00,736
Your uncle isn't making
good choices right now.
149
00:06:00,736 --> 00:06:02,279
‐ You know, when you get yourself
a pair of big‐boy pants,
150
00:06:02,279 --> 00:06:04,239
you realize there's more to life
than tractors!
151
00:06:04,239 --> 00:06:06,617
Fuckin' tractors!
‐ [slams door]
152
00:06:06,617 --> 00:06:09,745
‐ Uncle David is so serious,
isn't he, Mommy?
153
00:06:09,745 --> 00:06:11,705
‐ Yes, my little fluffy duck.
He is.
154
00:06:11,705 --> 00:06:13,790
‐ Quack.
‐ [laughs]
155
00:06:16,752 --> 00:06:18,837
So, do you remember where we're up to?
156
00:06:18,837 --> 00:06:20,797
‐ Where they got away from the witches.
157
00:06:20,797 --> 00:06:21,840
‐ That's right.
They're in Norway,
158
00:06:21,840 --> 00:06:23,759
and they're safe at Grandma's house.
159
00:06:25,219 --> 00:06:26,803
"She was wearing a lace dress
160
00:06:26,803 --> 00:06:29,306
"and the lace kept tickling my nose.
161
00:06:29,306 --> 00:06:32,267
"I had to rest my head on my front paws.
162
00:06:32,267 --> 00:06:34,770
"'Have you ever heard my heart
humming away, Grandmama?'
163
00:06:34,770 --> 00:06:36,730
"I asked her.
164
00:06:36,730 --> 00:06:37,773
"'Often,' she said.
165
00:06:37,773 --> 00:06:40,317
"'I hear it when you're lying
very close to me
166
00:06:40,317 --> 00:06:42,694
"'on the pillow at night.'
167
00:06:42,694 --> 00:06:44,738
"The two of us remained silent
in front of the fire
168
00:06:44,738 --> 00:06:46,740
"for a long time after that,
169
00:06:46,740 --> 00:06:48,742
"thinking about
these wonderful things.
170
00:06:49,743 --> 00:06:53,372
"'My darling,' she said at last,
are you sure you don't mind
171
00:06:53,372 --> 00:06:55,707
"'being a mouse
for the rest of your life?'
172
00:06:55,707 --> 00:06:58,752
"'I don't mind at all,' I said.
173
00:06:58,752 --> 00:07:00,796
"'It doesn't matter who you are
or what you look like,
174
00:07:00,796 --> 00:07:02,756
'as long as somebody
loves you.'"
175
00:07:17,229 --> 00:07:19,731
‐ Felix, get up! Felix!
‐ [moans]
176
00:07:19,731 --> 00:07:21,275
‐ Get up! I need your help.
177
00:07:21,275 --> 00:07:22,734
[lift bell dings]
178
00:07:23,735 --> 00:07:26,738
So, when you see her,
you breathe as Darth Vader
179
00:07:26,738 --> 00:07:27,781
and then you say...
180
00:07:27,781 --> 00:07:29,074
FELIX: "Hello, Aunty Sara.
181
00:07:29,074 --> 00:07:31,493
I am Darth Vader.
May the Force be with us."
182
00:07:31,493 --> 00:07:32,536
‐ Do it properly, Felix.
183
00:07:32,536 --> 00:07:34,079
When the mask is on,
you remain in character.
184
00:07:34,079 --> 00:07:35,747
‐ [gruffly]:
"Hello, Aunty Sara.
185
00:07:35,747 --> 00:07:38,542
I am Darth Vader.
May the Force be with us."
186
00:07:38,542 --> 00:07:41,753
‐ Yeah! Daniel Day‐Lewis just
came everywhere in his pants!
187
00:07:41,753 --> 00:07:44,798
Okay. Now, can you hold up the sign?
188
00:07:44,798 --> 00:07:46,758
I'll come in and take care of the rest.
189
00:07:46,758 --> 00:07:47,759
‐ Yes, Uncle David.
190
00:07:47,759 --> 00:07:50,762
I mean... [gruffly]
...yes, Uncle David.
191
00:07:50,762 --> 00:07:51,763
‐ All right.
192
00:07:54,224 --> 00:07:55,934
Do it, Darth.
193
00:07:55,934 --> 00:07:57,769
[Felix breathes like Darth Vader]
194
00:07:57,769 --> 00:08:00,522
‐ [screams]
MAN: What...?
195
00:08:00,522 --> 00:08:01,523
FELIX [gruffly]:
Aunty Sara.
196
00:08:01,523 --> 00:08:02,649
‐ Felix?!
197
00:08:02,649 --> 00:08:04,735
‐ I am Darth Vader.
198
00:08:04,735 --> 00:08:06,486
‐ Felix, what are you doing here?
199
00:08:06,486 --> 00:08:08,363
‐ What? No!
200
00:08:08,363 --> 00:08:10,741
What the fuck are you doing?!
‐ I live here!
201
00:08:10,741 --> 00:08:12,743
‐ Yeah, well...
who the fuck is that?!
202
00:08:12,743 --> 00:08:14,745
‐ Rory.
‐ That's Rory from work.
203
00:08:14,745 --> 00:08:17,247
‐ Well, do me a favor and get Rory
from work out of your vagina!
204
00:08:17,247 --> 00:08:19,124
‐ Don't go anywhere, Rory.
‐ Is this Dave?
205
00:08:19,124 --> 00:08:20,792
‐ Yeah, hi, Rory. I'm Dave.
206
00:08:20,792 --> 00:08:22,878
I'm Sara's boyfriend
of nine fucking years.
207
00:08:22,878 --> 00:08:24,546
‐ Can you watch your language
around the kid, please?
208
00:08:24,546 --> 00:08:26,798
FELIX: I am not a kid.
I am Darth Vader.
209
00:08:26,798 --> 00:08:28,717
May the Force be with us.
210
00:08:30,219 --> 00:08:31,220
DAVE:
Oh, yeah.
211
00:08:32,095 --> 00:08:33,639
Yeah, you fucked up, didn't you, Sara?
212
00:08:33,639 --> 00:08:34,932
Because I was gonna marry you.
213
00:08:34,932 --> 00:08:36,767
I was possibly gonna give you a baby.
214
00:08:36,767 --> 00:08:38,727
I even made this engagement ring
215
00:08:38,727 --> 00:08:40,479
out of a pipe‐cleaner
I found under Felix's bed.
216
00:08:40,479 --> 00:08:41,772
‐ No, you do this.
217
00:08:41,772 --> 00:08:44,733
You say one thing.
You never come through.
218
00:08:44,733 --> 00:08:46,777
‐ Hello? I was just about to!
219
00:08:46,777 --> 00:08:49,738
‐ I don't mean marriage and a baby, Dave!
220
00:08:49,738 --> 00:08:51,281
I needed you to love me.
221
00:08:51,281 --> 00:08:53,534
And you're incapable of loving
anyone but yourself.
222
00:08:53,534 --> 00:08:55,911
‐ At least I'm not stuffing
real estate agent dick in me
223
00:08:55,911 --> 00:08:56,745
the first chance I get!
224
00:08:56,745 --> 00:08:58,413
RORY: That's enough.
‐ Oh, what are you gonna do?!
225
00:08:58,413 --> 00:09:00,916
‐ You need to watch your language!
226
00:09:00,916 --> 00:09:02,793
‐ You need to stop having sex
in front of kids!
227
00:09:02,793 --> 00:09:03,836
‐ Don't talk to Rory like that.
228
00:09:03,836 --> 00:09:05,796
Rory is more in touch
with his emotional self
229
00:09:05,796 --> 00:09:06,922
than you'll ever be.
230
00:09:06,922 --> 00:09:09,758
‐ The only thing Rory is in touch
with is your slutty vagina!
231
00:09:09,758 --> 00:09:11,218
‐ Not cool.
‐ Yeah?
232
00:09:11,218 --> 00:09:12,761
"Not cool" this, motherfuck...
233
00:09:12,761 --> 00:09:13,762
Arggh! Jesus!
234
00:09:13,762 --> 00:09:15,097
Arggh! Arggh!
235
00:09:15,097 --> 00:09:16,640
Oh, God! Fuck!
RORY: That's it.
236
00:09:16,640 --> 00:09:17,766
Calm down!
DAVE: Yuck!
237
00:09:17,766 --> 00:09:18,809
Your dick's on my arm!
Your sweaty dick!
238
00:09:18,809 --> 00:09:20,769
RORY: It's disrespectful!
DAVE: Shit! No, shit! Okay!
239
00:09:20,769 --> 00:09:22,813
Come on, easy, buddy!
RORY: Are you gonna behave yourself?
240
00:09:22,813 --> 00:09:24,773
DAVE: There's a kid here, man! Ohh!
RORY: Are we good now?
241
00:09:24,773 --> 00:09:26,733
Yes?
DAVE: Arggh! Yeah, yeah. Yeah.
242
00:09:26,733 --> 00:09:27,776
[Dave groans]
243
00:09:27,776 --> 00:09:29,778
RORY:
I'm sorry I had to resort to violence.
244
00:09:29,778 --> 00:09:30,821
DAVE: Fucking Rory!
245
00:09:30,821 --> 00:09:32,781
‐ Violence is never the answer.
246
00:09:32,781 --> 00:09:35,784
FELIX: If you only knew
the power of the Dark Side.
247
00:09:35,784 --> 00:09:36,785
DAVE: Fucking...
248
00:09:36,785 --> 00:09:39,705
I gave you the best years of my life!
249
00:09:40,706 --> 00:09:42,749
You saw how much bush was thrown
at me when I was in a band.
250
00:09:42,749 --> 00:09:43,792
‐ That was 10 years ago!
251
00:09:43,792 --> 00:09:46,211
Stop going on about the band.
It's pathetic.
252
00:09:46,211 --> 00:09:48,797
‐ Yeah, well, I never screwed anyone else.
253
00:09:48,797 --> 00:09:50,757
I chose to be with you.
254
00:09:51,717 --> 00:09:54,720
‐ There is a big difference
between being with someone
255
00:09:54,720 --> 00:09:56,722
and being there for someone, Dave.
256
00:09:56,722 --> 00:09:57,723
RORY: Mmm.
257
00:09:57,723 --> 00:09:59,766
‐ I hope you grow up enough
one day to realize that.
258
00:09:59,766 --> 00:10:01,768
‐ I don't need to do that! You do!
259
00:10:02,644 --> 00:10:04,730
Fucking idiots!
260
00:10:11,028 --> 00:10:13,071
Don't ever expect to see me
back here again!
261
00:10:18,702 --> 00:10:21,747
Felix?
FELIX: I am not Felix. I am Darth Vader.
262
00:10:21,747 --> 00:10:22,664
DAVE: Darth Vader, now!
263
00:10:22,664 --> 00:10:24,791
[breathes like Darth Vader]
264
00:10:28,545 --> 00:10:29,838
DAVE:
Oh, I don't know.
265
00:10:30,839 --> 00:10:33,467
FELIX: Mommy!
‐ [sighs]
266
00:10:33,467 --> 00:10:35,761
I've been trying to call you.
Where the hell have you been?
267
00:10:35,761 --> 00:10:38,722
FELIX: Uncle David took me
to see Aunty Sara.
268
00:10:38,722 --> 00:10:40,766
‐ Yeah, and guess what Aunty Sara
was doing when we got there?
269
00:10:40,766 --> 00:10:43,268
Having sex with a real estate agent.
270
00:10:43,268 --> 00:10:45,020
‐ Hang on. What?
‐ Yeah, I know!
271
00:10:45,020 --> 00:10:47,648
‐ You woke my son up so he could
go see two people having sex?
272
00:10:47,648 --> 00:10:49,316
‐ No, not specifically.
273
00:10:49,316 --> 00:10:51,777
‐ The naked man punched
Uncle Dave on the nose
274
00:10:51,777 --> 00:10:54,696
'cause Aunty Sara has a slutty vagina.
275
00:10:54,696 --> 00:10:55,781
‐ I don't believe this.
276
00:10:55,781 --> 00:10:57,741
‐ I know. It's unbelievable!
277
00:10:57,741 --> 00:10:59,034
I mean, how could she do this to me?
278
00:10:59,034 --> 00:11:02,746
‐ If you can't understand
how incredibly inappropriate it is
279
00:11:02,746 --> 00:11:04,373
to take your nephew out
in the middle of the night,
280
00:11:04,373 --> 00:11:05,624
then you can find
somewhere else to stay.
281
00:11:05,624 --> 00:11:08,377
‐ What are you talking about?
He had a great time!
282
00:11:08,377 --> 00:11:09,837
Look, he's Darth Vader!
283
00:11:09,837 --> 00:11:11,547
‐ I am your father, Mommy.
284
00:11:11,547 --> 00:11:12,548
‐ See? He's really good at it.
285
00:11:12,548 --> 00:11:15,759
‐ It's late.
I have a double shift tomorrow.
286
00:11:16,635 --> 00:11:18,470
Get out of my house.
287
00:11:21,390 --> 00:11:22,391
[sobs]
288
00:11:22,391 --> 00:11:24,393
‐ What, are you crying now?
289
00:11:26,520 --> 00:11:28,480
‐ Mommy, you said it's good to cry.
290
00:11:29,898 --> 00:11:31,942
[sobbing]
291
00:11:31,942 --> 00:11:35,612
‐ Why can't Uncle David
stay on the couch?
292
00:11:39,366 --> 00:11:41,994
‐ Look, if you're gonna stay here,
then you have to start contributing.
293
00:11:41,994 --> 00:11:42,995
‐ Yeah.
294
00:11:42,995 --> 00:11:44,955
‐ Just... put him to bed now.
295
00:11:44,955 --> 00:11:46,957
And you can take him
to school tomorrow.
296
00:11:46,957 --> 00:11:49,042
‐ Can we play the shooty game,
Uncle David?
297
00:11:50,419 --> 00:11:52,212
‐ I don't want us
to get in trouble, Felix.
298
00:11:53,672 --> 00:11:56,008
We'll have to play it with the sound off.
299
00:11:56,008 --> 00:11:59,136
FELIX: I need to get to class
early for Miss Caroline.
300
00:11:59,136 --> 00:12:00,804
It's my turn to feed Neville.
301
00:12:00,804 --> 00:12:02,514
‐ Is Neville special‐needs?
302
00:12:02,514 --> 00:12:04,516
‐ Neville's the class guinea pig.
303
00:12:04,516 --> 00:12:07,352
‐ Hey, Felix!
What's for lunch today? [laughs]
304
00:12:07,352 --> 00:12:09,313
‐ That's Max and Ashton.
305
00:12:09,313 --> 00:12:13,317
They think I'm not strong
because of what Mommy packs me for food.
306
00:12:13,317 --> 00:12:14,985
‐ What fucking douchebags!
307
00:12:14,985 --> 00:12:17,863
Max looks like he could use
a few more tofu pizzas.
308
00:12:17,863 --> 00:12:18,989
Max was the fat one, yeah?
309
00:12:18,989 --> 00:12:20,449
‐ What's a douchebag?
310
00:12:20,449 --> 00:12:23,911
‐ It's a small bag chicks use
to irrigate their vaginas.
311
00:12:23,911 --> 00:12:27,539
‐ I hope you've got yummy
broccoli today, Felix!
312
00:12:27,539 --> 00:12:30,584
‐ Was that retarded kid using
irony to make fun of you?
313
00:12:30,584 --> 00:12:32,377
‐ Mickey has spina bifida.
314
00:12:32,377 --> 00:12:34,046
MICKEY [chants]: You love broccoli!
You love broccoli!
315
00:12:34,046 --> 00:12:35,380
‐ Hi, Felix!
316
00:12:35,380 --> 00:12:37,132
‐ Come on, this way!
‐ Okay!
317
00:12:37,132 --> 00:12:38,342
‐ [laughs] Felix!
318
00:12:38,342 --> 00:12:40,636
Look at you slaying puss
in the playground, huh?
319
00:12:40,636 --> 00:12:42,679
‐ Beth is my girlfriend.
320
00:12:42,679 --> 00:12:44,306
‐ Yeah, dog!
‐ [bell rings]
321
00:12:44,306 --> 00:12:46,016
Treat 'em mean, keep 'em keen.
322
00:12:46,016 --> 00:12:48,101
WOMAN:
Good morning, Vivienne.
323
00:12:48,101 --> 00:12:50,395
‐ [mutters]:
Fuck me! Who is that?
324
00:12:51,271 --> 00:12:52,564
‐ Yes!
325
00:12:54,316 --> 00:12:57,361
And... yes! Nice!
326
00:12:57,361 --> 00:12:59,071
‐ That's Miss Caroline.
327
00:12:59,071 --> 00:13:01,323
‐ Jesus!
328
00:13:01,323 --> 00:13:03,283
‐ Felix. Lucky last.
329
00:13:03,283 --> 00:13:06,328
‐ Sorry, Miss Caroline.
I can still feed Neville.
330
00:13:06,328 --> 00:13:08,330
‐ Max has already fed him.
FELIX: Aww!
331
00:13:08,330 --> 00:13:09,623
DAVE:
Ooh! Jeez.
332
00:13:09,623 --> 00:13:11,625
Neville will be lucky to have
anything left with that kid around.
333
00:13:12,835 --> 00:13:15,003
‐ Uh... quickly,
put your bags on your hook
334
00:13:15,003 --> 00:13:16,505
and unpack crunch‐and‐sip.
335
00:13:16,505 --> 00:13:18,674
DAVE: Come on, mate.
I'll give you a hand with that. Come on.
336
00:13:18,674 --> 00:13:19,383
‐ Hey, hey.
337
00:13:19,383 --> 00:13:21,343
Thank you.
338
00:13:21,343 --> 00:13:22,845
‐ I'm Dave. I'm Felix's uncle.
339
00:13:22,845 --> 00:13:24,096
‐ Oh. Audrey.
340
00:13:24,096 --> 00:13:26,306
Oh! Oh.
341
00:13:26,306 --> 00:13:28,308
‐ Oh, Miss Caroline, jeez.
342
00:13:28,308 --> 00:13:31,311
You are just a beacon of positivity
in my little nephew's life.
343
00:13:31,311 --> 00:13:32,688
‐ [objects crashing in room]
‐ He talks about you all the time.
344
00:13:32,688 --> 00:13:36,316
Apparently you slay Tay‐Tay
on the ukulay‐lay?
345
00:13:36,316 --> 00:13:37,693
‐ [chuckles]
Oh! I don't know about that.
346
00:13:37,693 --> 00:13:40,904
‐ His mom's going through a weird
breakdowny thing at the moment.
347
00:13:40,904 --> 00:13:42,906
‐ Oh, no. Really?
348
00:13:42,906 --> 00:13:44,366
‐ Yeah. It's bad.
349
00:13:44,366 --> 00:13:46,618
‐ I had no idea.
‐ Yeah.
350
00:13:46,618 --> 00:13:47,911
‐ I hope Tess is okay.
351
00:13:47,911 --> 00:13:51,373
‐ Well, thankfully for everyone,
Uncle David is here to help.
352
00:13:52,457 --> 00:13:54,084
‐ Oh, dear. He's asleep.
353
00:13:54,084 --> 00:13:55,377
DAVE: Yeah, I mean,
what's going on with his mom
354
00:13:55,377 --> 00:13:56,795
might be affecting his rhythms.
355
00:13:56,795 --> 00:13:58,380
‐ Don't worry.
356
00:13:58,380 --> 00:14:01,175
I'll give him some
special attention today.
357
00:14:01,175 --> 00:14:02,384
‐ Lucky boy. [chuckles]
358
00:14:02,384 --> 00:14:04,344
BOY: Felix doesn't even have a dad!
What a loser!
359
00:14:04,344 --> 00:14:06,388
‐ You know, I don't really
think of him as a nephew.
360
00:14:06,388 --> 00:14:08,307
I think of him as a friend.
361
00:14:08,307 --> 00:14:10,392
My best friend. I love kids.
362
00:14:10,392 --> 00:14:13,312
‐ [boy screams]
‐ Ooh! What's wrong?
363
00:14:13,312 --> 00:14:14,396
‐ What happened?
364
00:14:14,396 --> 00:14:16,356
‐ Someone hit me with the door!
365
00:14:16,356 --> 00:14:18,317
‐ Let me see. Let me see.
366
00:14:18,317 --> 00:14:20,319
‐ Oh, no!
‐ You are fine.
367
00:14:20,319 --> 00:14:22,362
Okay, quickly, sit back down,
so we can get started.
368
00:14:22,362 --> 00:14:24,364
‐ [boy screeches]
‐ Brave little man, isn't he?
369
00:14:24,364 --> 00:14:26,074
‐ Nice to meet you, David.
370
00:14:26,074 --> 00:14:28,452
‐ It is.
It's so nice to meet you, yeah.
371
00:14:28,452 --> 00:14:31,538
Guess I'll see you later.
‐ Yeah. Mm‐hm.
372
00:14:31,538 --> 00:14:32,915
‐ See you, Felix.
Love you, mate.
373
00:14:32,915 --> 00:14:34,166
‐ [screams]: Felix!
‐ [all gasp]
374
00:14:34,166 --> 00:14:36,335
‐ Love you, matey. See you.
375
00:14:36,335 --> 00:14:37,794
Bye. Have fun.
376
00:14:37,794 --> 00:14:40,380
‐ One, two, three! Eyes on me!
377
00:14:40,380 --> 00:14:42,049
CLASS:
One, two! Eyes on you!
378
00:14:42,049 --> 00:14:44,343
‐ Okay. It's time to...
379
00:14:44,343 --> 00:14:48,388
ALL:
♪ Make a circle, make a circle ♪
380
00:14:48,388 --> 00:14:53,352
♪ Nice and round, nice and round ♪
381
00:14:53,352 --> 00:14:57,481
♪ Come on, everybody,
come on, everybody... ♪
382
00:14:59,149 --> 00:15:02,236
[bell rings]
383
00:15:03,403 --> 00:15:05,364
DAVE:
Miss Caroline! [chuckles]
384
00:15:05,364 --> 00:15:07,282
‐ Oh.
385
00:15:07,282 --> 00:15:08,367
‐ Hello, David.
‐ Hey.
386
00:15:08,367 --> 00:15:10,369
‐ Y‐you can call me Audrey.
387
00:15:10,369 --> 00:15:12,329
‐ Didn't think I was gonna
make it in time for pick‐up.
388
00:15:12,329 --> 00:15:14,373
I had this crazy rehearsal.
389
00:15:14,373 --> 00:15:17,251
‐ I'm afraid he had
a really rough day today.
390
00:15:17,251 --> 00:15:20,045
‐ Who did?
‐ Felix.
391
00:15:20,045 --> 00:15:23,340
‐ Well, it's a good thing my band's
finished rehearsing for the day.
392
00:15:23,340 --> 00:15:24,341
That's my band.
393
00:15:24,341 --> 00:15:27,302
‐ "God's Sledgehammer"?
‐ That's right.
394
00:15:27,302 --> 00:15:28,387
‐ Is that a Christian band?
395
00:15:28,387 --> 00:15:31,974
‐ No. It's more of a stadium
rock‐slash‐death metal band.
396
00:15:31,974 --> 00:15:35,143
‐ Oh. 'Cause I'm a Christian, so...
397
00:15:35,143 --> 00:15:37,980
‐ It is a Christian band.
I'm a Christian myself, actually.
398
00:15:37,980 --> 00:15:40,315
WOMAN: Audrey?
‐ Oh, hey, Charlotte!
399
00:15:40,315 --> 00:15:42,359
‐ Um, Beth's older brother is really sick.
400
00:15:42,359 --> 00:15:44,319
‐ Oh, no!
‐ It's gastro.
401
00:15:44,319 --> 00:15:46,363
But I'm afraid I won't be able
to chaperone the excursion tomorrow.
402
00:15:46,363 --> 00:15:48,323
‐ Oh. Of course.
403
00:15:48,323 --> 00:15:50,951
A lot of my class is off sick
with gastro as well.
404
00:15:50,951 --> 00:15:52,286
‐ I hope I'm not leaving you in the lurch.
405
00:15:52,286 --> 00:15:53,620
Do you think you'll be able
to find someone else?
406
00:15:53,620 --> 00:15:56,164
‐ Hey! That's me!
I'm someone else!
407
00:15:57,291 --> 00:15:58,584
Where are we going, Miss Caroline?
408
00:15:59,918 --> 00:16:02,087
[breathes like Darth Vader]
409
00:16:02,087 --> 00:16:03,922
‐ Oh, the Force isn't working!
410
00:16:03,922 --> 00:16:05,924
‐ Okay, so, we take it out of this...
411
00:16:05,924 --> 00:16:07,009
‐ Mm‐hmm.
412
00:16:07,009 --> 00:16:08,969
‐ ...then you take
the blue safety cap off
413
00:16:08,969 --> 00:16:10,345
and you push the other end in here.
414
00:16:10,345 --> 00:16:13,724
So, it's "blue in the sky,
orange in the thigh."
415
00:16:13,724 --> 00:16:15,309
‐ Orange in the thigh!
416
00:16:15,309 --> 00:16:17,352
‐ Yeah, I'm serious.
"Blue in the sky"‐‐
417
00:16:17,352 --> 00:16:21,315
‐ "Orange in the thigh."
I've got it. Don't worry. He'll be fine.
418
00:16:21,315 --> 00:16:23,317
Actually looking forward
to spending some quality time
419
00:16:23,317 --> 00:16:24,651
with my little Lord Vader.
420
00:16:24,651 --> 00:16:26,904
‐ Can I bring this tomorrow, Uncle David?
421
00:16:26,904 --> 00:16:29,323
‐ And that's the only reason why you
want to go on this excursion tomorrow?
422
00:16:29,323 --> 00:16:30,949
‐ Yeah. What other reason would there be?
423
00:16:30,949 --> 00:16:32,367
‐ The one that teaches his kindy class.
424
00:16:32,367 --> 00:16:33,827
‐ Miss Caroline? Come on.
425
00:16:33,827 --> 00:16:36,246
‐ Every dad has tried
to make a pass at her.
426
00:16:36,246 --> 00:16:37,331
‐ Well, she's a Christian.
427
00:16:37,331 --> 00:16:39,541
I'm in a stadium rock‐
slash‐death metal band.
428
00:16:39,541 --> 00:16:40,209
How's that gonna work?
429
00:16:40,209 --> 00:16:42,336
‐ Mommy, I nearly had it!
430
00:16:42,336 --> 00:16:43,378
‐ I'm just trying to understand
431
00:16:43,378 --> 00:16:45,380
why you would so readily
volunteer for something
432
00:16:45,380 --> 00:16:46,757
that sounds like your worst nightmare.
433
00:16:46,757 --> 00:16:49,259
‐ Maybe it's because
I'm actually a good person.
434
00:16:49,259 --> 00:16:51,470
God, is that such a crazy idea?
435
00:16:51,470 --> 00:16:53,472
[Dave pants, moans]
436
00:16:56,016 --> 00:16:58,352
F‐f‐fuck... me!
437
00:16:58,352 --> 00:17:00,312
Jesus, fuck!
438
00:17:01,313 --> 00:17:02,356
[groans]
439
00:17:04,441 --> 00:17:06,318
[toilet flushes]
440
00:17:14,284 --> 00:17:16,328
‐ [ukulele plays]
AUDREY: ♪ But I keep cruisin' ♪
441
00:17:16,328 --> 00:17:19,373
♪ Can't stop, won't stop movin' ♪
442
00:17:19,373 --> 00:17:22,376
♪ It's like I got this music ♪
443
00:17:22,376 --> 00:17:26,380
♪ In my mind
singing it's gonna be alright ♪
444
00:17:26,380 --> 00:17:29,383
♪ 'Cause the players gonna
play, play, play, play, play ♪
445
00:17:29,383 --> 00:17:32,386
♪ And the haters gonna
hate, hate, hate, hate, hate ♪
446
00:17:32,386 --> 00:17:35,806
♪ Baby, I'm just gonna shake,
shake, shake, shake, shake ♪
447
00:17:35,806 --> 00:17:38,308
♪ I shake it off,
I shake it off ♪
448
00:17:38,308 --> 00:17:39,226
And louder now!
449
00:17:39,226 --> 00:17:42,145
♪ Shake it off,
shake it off, uh‐uh ♪
450
00:17:42,145 --> 00:17:44,189
♪ I shake it off, shake it off ♪
451
00:17:44,189 --> 00:17:47,401
♪ Uh‐uh, I shake it off,
shake it off ♪
452
00:17:47,401 --> 00:17:50,571
♪ Uh‐uh, I shake it off, shake it off ♪
453
00:17:50,571 --> 00:17:53,282
‐ [children cheer]
AUDREY: Yes!
454
00:17:53,282 --> 00:17:56,285
Good job, guys!
455
00:17:56,285 --> 00:17:58,120
‐ Hey, how long till we get going again?
456
00:17:58,120 --> 00:17:59,371
‐ I'm still working on it!
457
00:17:59,371 --> 00:18:02,374
‐ Sing "Shake It Off" again!
CHILDREN: Yay!
458
00:18:02,374 --> 00:18:04,835
‐ No! Sing something else!
459
00:18:04,835 --> 00:18:08,755
‐ I think we've all had enough
of Taylor Swift right now, guys.
460
00:18:08,755 --> 00:18:11,383
‐ Can you sing another song,
Miss Caroline?
461
00:18:11,383 --> 00:18:13,343
‐ Well, actually,
462
00:18:13,343 --> 00:18:17,306
there is somebody on this bus
who is a professional singer.
463
00:18:17,306 --> 00:18:20,350
Who knows what the word
'professional' means?
464
00:18:20,350 --> 00:18:21,351
Beth?
465
00:18:21,351 --> 00:18:24,354
‐ It means it's your proper job
and you get paid money.
466
00:18:24,354 --> 00:18:26,315
AUDREY: Very good, Beth!
467
00:18:26,315 --> 00:18:29,443
You become a professional when
you're so good at something
468
00:18:29,443 --> 00:18:31,320
that you get paid to do it.
469
00:18:31,320 --> 00:18:34,364
I am a professional kindergarten teacher.
470
00:18:34,364 --> 00:18:37,618
And David is a professional singer.
471
00:18:37,618 --> 00:18:40,329
Isn't that right, David?
‐ Uh... that's correct.
472
00:18:40,329 --> 00:18:43,415
Yes, I am a professional
singer, songwriter, guitarist.
473
00:18:43,415 --> 00:18:46,668
‐ Maybe if we all nicely ask David,
474
00:18:46,668 --> 00:18:49,171
he'll come to the front
of the bus and sing us all a song.
475
00:18:49,171 --> 00:18:51,131
What do you think, guys? Yes!
476
00:18:51,131 --> 00:18:53,091
ALL:
Please? Please?
477
00:18:53,091 --> 00:18:54,593
AUDREY:
Louder! Louder!
478
00:18:54,593 --> 00:18:57,095
DAVE: No, no, no. I'm not prepared.
‐ Come on!
479
00:18:57,095 --> 00:18:57,930
‐ Okay, then. All right.
480
00:18:57,930 --> 00:19:00,307
‐ [all cheer]
‐ One song.
481
00:19:01,308 --> 00:19:03,894
‐ Now, sit down and be quiet
so he can play.
482
00:19:06,104 --> 00:19:10,275
‐ [Dave clears throat]
Um, hi, guys. Um...
483
00:19:10,275 --> 00:19:12,986
My name's David.
Uh, I'm Felix's uncle.
484
00:19:12,986 --> 00:19:15,322
And I'm also the lead
singer‐slash‐frontman
485
00:19:15,322 --> 00:19:17,866
of my band, God's Sledgehammer.
486
00:19:17,866 --> 00:19:21,578
Oh, and let's not forget
what Leviticus teaches us.
487
00:19:21,578 --> 00:19:24,289
If anyone curses their mother
or their father,
488
00:19:24,289 --> 00:19:25,999
they must be put to death.
489
00:19:25,999 --> 00:19:29,294
That's in the Bible.
That's actually there. God wrote that.
490
00:19:29,294 --> 00:19:32,339
Um, this is one of my slower ditties.
491
00:19:32,339 --> 00:19:35,300
Um... a ballad, if you will.
492
00:19:35,300 --> 00:19:39,137
♪ Your husband left you
with two little kids ♪
493
00:19:39,137 --> 00:19:42,391
♪ Said he loved you, but he never did ♪
494
00:19:42,391 --> 00:19:45,269
♪ You pretend like everything is fine ♪
495
00:19:45,269 --> 00:19:48,981
♪ But the screams have
taken over your mind ♪
496
00:19:48,981 --> 00:19:52,317
♪ And now you're empty inside
like an empty room ♪
497
00:19:52,317 --> 00:19:54,862
♪ That's full of demons and monsters too ♪
498
00:19:54,862 --> 00:19:56,738
♪ Yeah, you're trapped in a nightmare ♪
499
00:19:56,738 --> 00:19:58,782
♪ There's nowhere to hide from the pain ♪
500
00:19:58,782 --> 00:20:02,327
♪ That's eating you alive ♪
501
00:20:02,327 --> 00:20:04,705
♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah ♪
502
00:20:04,705 --> 00:20:07,541
♪ Daddy, Daddy, Daddy, where did you go? ♪
503
00:20:07,541 --> 00:20:08,834
♪ Mama's losing control ♪
504
00:20:08,834 --> 00:20:11,920
♪ She's got the demons inside her,
feasting off her soul ♪
505
00:20:11,920 --> 00:20:15,174
♪ You started another family,
'cause we weren't good enough ♪
506
00:20:15,174 --> 00:20:16,341
♪ You didn't love your son ♪
507
00:20:16,341 --> 00:20:18,302
♪ 'Cause you thought he wasn't tough ♪
508
00:20:18,302 --> 00:20:20,387
♪ Daddy, Daddy, Daddy, where did you go? ♪
509
00:20:20,387 --> 00:20:24,308
♪ Oh, Daddy, Daddy, Daddy
where did you go, yeah? ♪
510
00:20:25,434 --> 00:20:29,188
‐ Might be a little much
for everyone, you know?
511
00:20:29,188 --> 00:20:30,439
‐ Yeah, mmm.
512
00:20:31,565 --> 00:20:32,733
[boy laughs]
513
00:20:32,733 --> 00:20:34,318
‐ Bus is fixed.
AUDREY: Oh!
514
00:20:34,318 --> 00:20:36,320
‐ Next stop, Pleasant Valley!
515
00:20:36,320 --> 00:20:38,363
‐ Oh! Thank God! Yay!
‐ [children cheer]
516
00:20:39,281 --> 00:20:40,824
‐ Clap for David!
517
00:20:40,824 --> 00:20:42,910
♪
518
00:20:53,504 --> 00:20:55,547
WOMAN: Section 19 clear.
RADIO: Section 19.
519
00:20:55,547 --> 00:20:58,300
MAN: What's the point
in flying 17 hours on a plane
520
00:20:58,300 --> 00:21:00,302
to work in a country
you're not even allowed to see?
521
00:21:00,302 --> 00:21:02,054
‐ Section 12 clear.
RADIO: Section 12.
522
00:21:02,054 --> 00:21:03,305
‐ This country's insane.
523
00:21:03,305 --> 00:21:05,015
Do you realize how many animals
they have here
524
00:21:05,015 --> 00:21:06,308
that can kill you?
525
00:21:06,308 --> 00:21:07,309
Listen to this.
526
00:21:07,309 --> 00:21:10,354
"The funnel‐web spider is
the world's nastiest arachnid.
527
00:21:10,354 --> 00:21:13,315
"The venom from this hairy
spider's massive fangs
528
00:21:13,315 --> 00:21:15,609
"attacks a person's nervous
system, leading to death.
529
00:21:15,609 --> 00:21:18,320
The red‐bellied black snake
can grow up to seven feet long."
530
00:21:18,320 --> 00:21:19,363
WOMAN: Section 15 clear.
531
00:21:19,363 --> 00:21:22,115
‐ "The venom from its bite
can cause skin cells to decay,
532
00:21:22,115 --> 00:21:24,201
"along with kidney failure,
leading to death.
533
00:21:24,201 --> 00:21:27,329
"There is no known anti‐venom
for the box jellyfish,
534
00:21:27,329 --> 00:21:29,957
"which is present throughout
coastal waters of Australia.
535
00:21:29,957 --> 00:21:31,959
"The sting instantly leads to necrosis
536
00:21:31,959 --> 00:21:34,586
and random muscle spasms,
and finally, cardiac arrest."
537
00:21:34,586 --> 00:21:38,340
Still, if I get flown back home
without seeing a koala bear,
538
00:21:38,340 --> 00:21:39,716
I'm gonna be pretty upset.
539
00:21:45,430 --> 00:21:47,432
[snarling]
540
00:21:47,432 --> 00:21:49,393
WOMAN:
Jesus. One of them's free.
541
00:21:51,812 --> 00:21:55,315
‐ Back away from the body
with your hands on your head!
542
00:21:57,317 --> 00:21:58,277
[fires]
543
00:22:09,204 --> 00:22:10,372
WOMAN:
Patrol to control room.
544
00:22:10,372 --> 00:22:13,292
Project Regeneration
test subject has escaped.
545
00:22:13,292 --> 00:22:15,377
Containment breach and casualty
in section 24.
546
00:22:16,378 --> 00:22:18,380
Containment breach and casualty
in section 24!
547
00:22:18,380 --> 00:22:20,799
RADIO: We have a large‐scale
breach at section 25!
548
00:22:20,799 --> 00:22:22,718
[gunfire]
549
00:22:22,718 --> 00:22:25,345
‐ Wait here.
I'll secure the door.
550
00:22:25,345 --> 00:22:27,306
‐ [alarm blaring]
P. A.: In lockdown.
551
00:22:29,808 --> 00:22:31,310
In lockdown.
552
00:22:31,310 --> 00:22:33,020
[distant gunfire]
553
00:22:33,020 --> 00:22:34,605
‐ Wait, should I call for backup?
554
00:22:35,272 --> 00:22:37,357
What the fuck?! What the fuck?!
555
00:22:38,984 --> 00:22:40,944
Get off! Get off!
556
00:22:40,944 --> 00:22:44,323
My ear! Arggh! Arggh!
557
00:22:44,323 --> 00:22:46,325
[screams]
558
00:22:46,325 --> 00:22:48,076
P.A.:
In lockdown.
559
00:22:48,076 --> 00:22:51,413
‐ So, it's 600 feet
back down the road. Yeah.
560
00:22:51,413 --> 00:22:53,832
‐ Minigolf. Minigolf.
[speaks Chinese]
561
00:22:53,832 --> 00:22:55,292
‐ This is not the petting zoo.
562
00:22:55,292 --> 00:22:57,836
This is a US military facility.
Do you understand me?
563
00:22:57,836 --> 00:23:01,340
‐ [klaxon blares]
P. A.: Full code red.
564
00:23:01,340 --> 00:23:04,301
I repeat, this is a full code red alert.
565
00:23:04,301 --> 00:23:05,677
‐ Shit!
566
00:23:05,677 --> 00:23:09,306
Jerry! Open the gate!
Open the gate!
567
00:23:09,306 --> 00:23:11,183
Open the goddamn gate!
568
00:23:11,183 --> 00:23:13,894
Close the gate! Close the gate!
569
00:23:13,894 --> 00:23:17,022
♪
570
00:23:47,511 --> 00:23:50,305
AUDREY:
And our first rule is be safe.
571
00:23:50,305 --> 00:23:51,348
Which means remember the dangers
572
00:23:51,348 --> 00:23:53,392
of touching and tasting things
we don't recognize.
573
00:23:53,392 --> 00:23:55,310
Our rhyme...
574
00:23:55,310 --> 00:23:58,939
ALL: We can see, we can smell,
we can hear...
575
00:23:58,939 --> 00:24:00,607
FELIX:
Oh, my gosh! Uncle Dave!
576
00:24:00,607 --> 00:24:03,610
It's Teddy McGiggle!
It's Teddy McGiggle!
577
00:24:03,610 --> 00:24:06,321
‐ What? Oh, my God!
578
00:24:06,321 --> 00:24:07,573
[Dave groans]
579
00:24:07,573 --> 00:24:09,324
[children shout excitedly]
580
00:24:11,326 --> 00:24:14,705
‐ Hi‐ho, kiddlywinks!
581
00:24:14,705 --> 00:24:17,249
ALL:
Hi‐ho, Teddy!
582
00:24:17,249 --> 00:24:19,042
‐ Hi‐ho, Teddy!
583
00:24:19,042 --> 00:24:21,170
‐ Hi‐ho, Frogsie!
584
00:24:21,170 --> 00:24:26,008
Well, aren't we having a super fun time
on our trip down under?!
585
00:24:26,008 --> 00:24:30,304
We swam with the fish
in the Great Barrier Reef!
586
00:24:30,304 --> 00:24:33,307
We've climbed to the top
of the Harbour Bridge!
587
00:24:33,307 --> 00:24:34,516
And today‐‐
588
00:24:34,516 --> 00:24:38,020
today, we are visiting
the Pleasant Valley Farm
589
00:24:38,020 --> 00:24:41,690
to meet and learn about all
the cute Australian animals!
590
00:24:41,690 --> 00:24:44,193
‐ I want a cuddle from a koala!
591
00:24:44,193 --> 00:24:46,528
‐ I bet you do, Frogsie!
592
00:24:46,528 --> 00:24:48,155
[children laugh]
TEDDY: Wow‐ee!
593
00:24:48,155 --> 00:24:52,034
Look at the big crowd
that's come out here to say hello to us.
594
00:24:52,034 --> 00:24:53,994
And hello to you!
595
00:24:53,994 --> 00:24:57,456
What's your name,
you big bundle of sunshine?
596
00:24:57,456 --> 00:24:59,166
Come on over here.
597
00:24:59,166 --> 00:25:03,670
Why don't you guys let the beautiful
yellow lady come on through?
598
00:25:03,670 --> 00:25:05,339
What's your name, little lady?
599
00:25:05,339 --> 00:25:07,841
‐ Miss Caroline.
Oh, but my friends call me Audrey.
600
00:25:07,841 --> 00:25:10,052
My kids call Miss Caroline.
601
00:25:10,052 --> 00:25:13,347
Not my kids kids, my students.
They call me Miss Caroline.
602
00:25:13,347 --> 00:25:17,351
‐ Well, that is a beautiful origin story
if I've ever heard one.
603
00:25:17,351 --> 00:25:20,812
All I know is, your kiddlywinks
sure are lucky
604
00:25:20,812 --> 00:25:24,608
to have a teacher as pretty
as you, Miss Caroline!
605
00:25:24,608 --> 00:25:27,903
FROGSIE:
I want to give Miss Caroline a cuddle!
606
00:25:27,903 --> 00:25:29,321
[all laugh]
607
00:25:29,321 --> 00:25:31,615
‐ I bet you do, Frogsie!
608
00:25:31,615 --> 00:25:33,534
What do you guys say
we do the McGiggle dance?
609
00:25:33,534 --> 00:25:34,952
CHILDREN:
Yeah!
610
00:25:34,952 --> 00:25:37,538
‐ What do you say we do
the McGiggle dance
611
00:25:37,538 --> 00:25:40,374
to get this party started?!
612
00:25:40,374 --> 00:25:42,626
[silly laughter]
613
00:25:44,211 --> 00:25:46,171
Excellent job, everybody.
614
00:25:46,171 --> 00:25:48,841
[children applaud, shout]
615
00:25:48,841 --> 00:25:51,093
TEDDY:
Settle down there, kiddlywinks!
616
00:25:51,093 --> 00:25:54,179
There's more than enough Teddy
to go around!
617
00:25:54,179 --> 00:25:57,307
Whoo‐hoo! [laughs]
618
00:25:57,307 --> 00:25:59,351
AUDREY:
Remember to be nice and gentle.
619
00:25:59,351 --> 00:26:02,479
TEDDY:
♪ Come with us as we giggle around ♪
620
00:26:02,479 --> 00:26:04,398
♪ In the McGigglemobile ♪
621
00:26:04,398 --> 00:26:05,941
FROGSIE:
Toot‐toot, Teddy!
622
00:26:05,941 --> 00:26:07,317
TEDDY:
♪ Traveling the whole world ♪
623
00:26:07,317 --> 00:26:10,863
♪ And sharing special memories
with the kiddlywinks ♪
624
00:26:10,863 --> 00:26:13,031
FROGSIE:
We love the kiddlywinks!
625
00:26:13,031 --> 00:26:14,700
TEDDY:
♪ There's no use ignoring ♪
626
00:26:14,700 --> 00:26:16,577
♪ All the giggling and guffawing ♪
627
00:26:16,577 --> 00:26:18,912
♪ As we shower the whole world with fun ♪
628
00:26:18,912 --> 00:26:20,330
[Teddy and Frogsie laugh]
629
00:26:20,330 --> 00:26:23,792
♪ And time and time again,
we will McGiggle with new friends ♪
630
00:26:23,792 --> 00:26:27,171
♪ Because our giggles are for everyone ♪
631
00:26:30,340 --> 00:26:32,426
FROGSIE:
Can we do the McGiggle dance?
632
00:26:32,426 --> 00:26:34,052
TEDDY:
You bet we can, Frogsie!
633
00:26:34,052 --> 00:26:35,554
FROGSIE:
Whoo‐hoo!
634
00:26:35,554 --> 00:26:38,640
TEDDY:
♪ So, giggle, I'll giggle with you ♪
635
00:26:38,640 --> 00:26:42,936
♪ Let's giggle,
we'll giggle all together ♪
636
00:26:42,936 --> 00:26:45,606
♪ I feel giggly when
we all play this song... ♪
637
00:26:45,606 --> 00:26:46,857
KOALA:
Rock on, man!
638
00:26:46,857 --> 00:26:50,819
TEDDY: ♪ Life's so fun
when you giggle along... ♪
639
00:26:50,819 --> 00:26:52,905
WOMAN:
Yeah? Do you want to come up?
640
00:26:52,905 --> 00:26:54,573
All the way out to here.
‐ [whip cracks]
641
00:26:54,573 --> 00:26:56,325
[all cheer]
642
00:26:59,369 --> 00:27:00,621
WOMAN: Everyone's watching.
No pressure.
643
00:27:00,621 --> 00:27:03,624
‐ [whip cracks]
‐ Arggh! Arggh!
644
00:27:03,624 --> 00:27:05,876
[laughter]
645
00:27:05,876 --> 00:27:08,337
KOALA: [chuckles]
Yeah. Rock on, idiot.
646
00:27:08,337 --> 00:27:10,047
AUDREY:
What did we learn? Yes, Felix?
647
00:27:10,047 --> 00:27:13,884
[all growling]
648
00:27:15,969 --> 00:27:18,597
RADIO: We got a full breach here!
A full breach!
649
00:27:18,597 --> 00:27:20,349
Somebody get up here and help me!
650
00:27:20,349 --> 00:27:21,725
They're escaping from the front!
651
00:27:21,725 --> 00:27:24,186
[growls]
652
00:27:24,186 --> 00:27:26,146
RADIO:
Get up here now! Now! Now!
653
00:27:26,146 --> 00:27:30,692
Arggh! Arggh!
[screaming]
654
00:27:37,241 --> 00:27:42,371
[all speaking Chinese]
655
00:27:45,332 --> 00:27:48,168
Whoa!
[speaking Chinese]
656
00:27:48,168 --> 00:27:50,379
[growls]
657
00:27:57,970 --> 00:28:00,889
[all speaking Chinese]
658
00:28:04,101 --> 00:28:07,896
‐ [zombie munches]
‐ [man screams]
659
00:28:07,896 --> 00:28:10,315
AUDREY:
One, two, three, eyes on me!
660
00:28:10,315 --> 00:28:11,358
CHILDREN:
One, two, eyes on you!
661
00:28:11,358 --> 00:28:13,861
[woman screaming]
662
00:28:13,861 --> 00:28:16,321
‐ And then we get to meet Kimby again.
663
00:28:16,321 --> 00:28:19,032
She's going to take us on a special ride.
664
00:28:19,032 --> 00:28:22,744
And then when we get back to the farm,
there'll be a surprise waiting for us!
665
00:28:22,744 --> 00:28:25,706
‐ Is it putt‐putt golf!
Are we gonna play putt‐putt golf?!
666
00:28:25,706 --> 00:28:27,666
AUDREY:
I said it was a surprise.
667
00:28:27,666 --> 00:28:29,209
I'm going to count backwards from 10.
668
00:28:29,209 --> 00:28:31,378
By the time I get to one,
I want you all in a line in front of me.
669
00:28:31,378 --> 00:28:34,047
And away we go! Ten! Nine!
670
00:28:34,047 --> 00:28:36,592
‐ Miss Caroline, can we‐‐
‐ David, just call me Audrey‐‐ eight!
671
00:28:36,592 --> 00:28:38,552
DAVE: Yeah, I feel like
I haven't been helping enough.
672
00:28:38,552 --> 00:28:40,053
AUDREY: Seven!
DAVE: Can I get more involved?
673
00:28:40,053 --> 00:28:42,973
‐ Six! Yeah, you can help Kim
with the rubbish.
674
00:28:42,973 --> 00:28:44,308
Five!
‐ The rubbish?
675
00:28:44,308 --> 00:28:46,310
Wait‐‐ are you married?
676
00:28:46,310 --> 00:28:47,352
‐ No. Four!
677
00:28:47,352 --> 00:28:49,313
Oh, not yet.
That's my engagement ring.
678
00:28:49,313 --> 00:28:51,315
Three!
‐ You're with a guy?
679
00:28:52,316 --> 00:28:54,359
‐ My fiancé, Ian, yes.
680
00:28:54,359 --> 00:28:55,986
Two!
681
00:28:56,820 --> 00:28:59,323
And one!
682
00:28:59,323 --> 00:29:01,325
Very good. Okay, let's go.
683
00:29:01,325 --> 00:29:04,661
Okay, who's excited about the surprise?
684
00:29:04,661 --> 00:29:06,622
DAVE:
Bye‐bye, rubbish!
685
00:29:06,622 --> 00:29:07,664
KIMBY [on P. A.]:
Welcome, everyone,
686
00:29:07,664 --> 00:29:10,626
to the Pleasant Valley Farm experience.
687
00:29:10,626 --> 00:29:12,628
Who wants to see some sheep?
688
00:29:12,628 --> 00:29:13,670
[children cheer]
689
00:29:13,670 --> 00:29:16,215
That's lucky,
because you're about to meet
690
00:29:16,215 --> 00:29:19,676
Pleasant Valley's
flock of resident mammals.
691
00:29:19,676 --> 00:29:22,596
‐ Isn't the tractor amazing, Uncle David?
692
00:29:22,596 --> 00:29:24,681
KIMBY: Even though sheep
aren't native to Australia,
693
00:29:24,681 --> 00:29:25,641
we certainly do have...
694
00:29:25,641 --> 00:29:27,601
GIRL:
Miss Caroline, where are the sheep?
695
00:29:27,601 --> 00:29:30,521
KIMBY:
Um... They're usually around here.
696
00:29:31,605 --> 00:29:32,648
They must be hiding.
697
00:29:37,277 --> 00:29:39,821
[zombie snarls]
698
00:29:39,821 --> 00:29:41,823
[sighs, stops engine]
699
00:29:43,325 --> 00:29:44,660
[sighs]
700
00:29:44,660 --> 00:29:47,246
‐ I've just gotta check
on something ahead.
701
00:29:47,246 --> 00:29:49,623
Sorry we haven't seen
any sheep yet, kiddies.
702
00:29:49,623 --> 00:29:50,624
‐ What is it, Miss Caroline?
703
00:29:50,624 --> 00:29:53,043
‐ I don't know, Kim.
There must be something in the way.
704
00:29:53,043 --> 00:29:54,837
‐ Maybe it's your dad, Felix!
705
00:29:54,837 --> 00:29:57,089
‐ No, it isn't.
‐ Yeah, Max!
706
00:29:57,089 --> 00:29:58,924
For all we know,
you don't have a dad either.
707
00:29:58,924 --> 00:30:01,510
Never seen any evidence of him
when I'm visiting your mom.
708
00:30:01,510 --> 00:30:03,178
‐ Do you know my mom?
‐ Uh‐huh.
709
00:30:03,178 --> 00:30:06,515
‐ Okay. David?
May I have a word with you, please?
710
00:30:06,515 --> 00:30:08,141
[children laugh]
711
00:30:08,141 --> 00:30:09,685
GIRL [taunting]:
David's in trouble!
712
00:30:10,644 --> 00:30:12,563
[snarling]
713
00:30:12,563 --> 00:30:14,106
KIMBY:
Hey.
714
00:30:14,106 --> 00:30:15,941
What are you doing to our sheep, mate?
715
00:30:15,941 --> 00:30:18,318
‐ Look, I don't know what's
going on with you right now,
716
00:30:18,318 --> 00:30:20,612
but that kind of behavior
is unacceptable.
717
00:30:20,612 --> 00:30:22,614
‐ Max started it!
‐ Max is five years old!
718
00:30:22,614 --> 00:30:25,617
And if you can't use appropriate language
with a five‐year‐old,
719
00:30:25,617 --> 00:30:27,619
I'm going to have to ask you
to disembark the tractor train
720
00:30:27,619 --> 00:30:28,662
and wait for us back at the bus.
721
00:30:28,662 --> 00:30:30,664
KIMBY [screaming]:
Fucking hell! Fuck!
722
00:30:30,664 --> 00:30:31,915
CHILDREN:
♪ Bad word! Bad word! ♪
723
00:30:31,915 --> 00:30:35,043
‐ Kimby!
CHILDREN: ♪ You said a bad thing! ♪
724
00:30:35,043 --> 00:30:37,462
‐ Kimby, this kind of behavior is just‐‐
725
00:30:37,462 --> 00:30:38,881
‐ [snarls]
‐ Arggh!
726
00:30:38,881 --> 00:30:40,674
[growls]
727
00:30:45,596 --> 00:30:46,972
Oh!
728
00:30:46,972 --> 00:30:48,473
[roars]
729
00:30:51,560 --> 00:30:52,394
‐ Oh, God!
730
00:30:52,394 --> 00:30:54,271
David! Start the tractor!
731
00:30:56,523 --> 00:30:57,691
[laughs]
732
00:30:58,567 --> 00:31:01,653
‐ Where are you going to drive
the tractor, Uncle David?
733
00:31:01,653 --> 00:31:02,905
[engine rumbles]
734
00:31:02,905 --> 00:31:05,157
[laughs]
735
00:31:05,157 --> 00:31:07,534
DAVE:
Miss Caroline! I'm coming!
736
00:31:07,534 --> 00:31:10,287
‐ Push the clutch pedal down.
‐ Where?
737
00:31:10,287 --> 00:31:13,332
‐ The clutch pedal is on the left,
the brake is on the other side.
738
00:31:13,332 --> 00:31:14,625
‐ Like this?
739
00:31:14,625 --> 00:31:15,542
[Audrey yelps]
740
00:31:15,542 --> 00:31:17,085
‐ [zombie snarling]
741
00:31:17,085 --> 00:31:19,630
FELIX: Have you got the parking
brake off, Uncle David?
742
00:31:19,630 --> 00:31:20,714
‐ I don't know!
743
00:31:20,714 --> 00:31:22,466
‐ The parking brake is that side too.
744
00:31:22,466 --> 00:31:24,218
‐ Why do you know so much about tractors?
745
00:31:24,218 --> 00:31:25,969
‐ I love tractors.
746
00:31:25,969 --> 00:31:27,513
‐ Oh, Jesus!
747
00:31:27,513 --> 00:31:29,932
BETH:
Are you okay, Miss Caroline?!
748
00:31:29,932 --> 00:31:31,850
‐ Just, uh, having a chat with Kimby.
749
00:31:33,060 --> 00:31:34,520
‐ Ohh, shit!
750
00:31:34,520 --> 00:31:36,980
[grunting]
751
00:31:37,648 --> 00:31:38,649
[zombie roars]
752
00:31:40,651 --> 00:31:41,902
‐ Ooh!
753
00:31:48,033 --> 00:31:50,285
DAVID: What do I do?!
AUDREY: Just keep driving!
754
00:31:50,285 --> 00:31:52,621
[children clamoring]
755
00:31:55,249 --> 00:31:56,917
[panting] Yes!
756
00:31:57,709 --> 00:31:58,877
AUDREY:
Rightio.
757
00:31:58,877 --> 00:32:01,380
You remember this one. Right?
758
00:32:01,380 --> 00:32:02,798
[zombie groaning over P. A.]
759
00:32:02,798 --> 00:32:05,092
[Audrey plays ukulele]
760
00:32:05,092 --> 00:32:08,595
♪ Little Bo Peep has lost her sheep ♪
761
00:32:08,595 --> 00:32:11,849
♪ And doesn't know where to find them ♪
762
00:32:12,516 --> 00:32:13,600
BOY:
What is that?
763
00:32:13,600 --> 00:32:16,061
♪ Leave them alone
and they'll come home ♪
764
00:32:16,061 --> 00:32:19,314
‐ [zombie moaning]
‐ ♪ Wagging their tails behind them ♪
765
00:32:21,525 --> 00:32:23,110
[snarls]
766
00:32:30,659 --> 00:32:33,495
‐ Who knows what "unpredictable" means?
767
00:32:34,705 --> 00:32:36,665
AUDREY:
Don't be scared. Don't be scared.
768
00:32:36,665 --> 00:32:39,626
This is the surprise I was talking about.
769
00:32:40,711 --> 00:32:43,005
[woman screaming]
770
00:32:47,676 --> 00:32:49,761
‐ David? Why are you stopping?
771
00:32:50,470 --> 00:32:52,347
DAVE:
'C‐cause the road is blocked in.
772
00:32:52,347 --> 00:32:54,725
I don't know how to explain
what I'm seeing.
773
00:32:56,310 --> 00:32:57,936
‐ [snarls]
‐ Ahh!
774
00:32:57,936 --> 00:32:59,897
[all talking at once]
775
00:32:59,897 --> 00:33:02,149
‐ Okay! One, two, three, eyes on me!
776
00:33:02,149 --> 00:33:04,151
‐ One, two, eyes on you!
AUDREY: Right.
777
00:33:04,151 --> 00:33:05,944
Who remembers how to play tag?
778
00:33:05,944 --> 00:33:07,196
Good. Right.
779
00:33:07,196 --> 00:33:09,364
Those funny‐looking people
out there are it.
780
00:33:09,364 --> 00:33:11,992
‐ How do I go backwards?
781
00:33:11,992 --> 00:33:13,368
And we don't want to let
the funny people touch us.
782
00:33:13,368 --> 00:33:15,120
Look! Isn't she good at it?
‐ [woman whimpering]
783
00:33:15,120 --> 00:33:17,831
CHILDREN: Yeah!
‐ I need you to stick together in a line.
784
00:33:17,831 --> 00:33:21,043
So, quick‐sticks!
Ready... steady...
785
00:33:22,211 --> 00:33:23,253
...conga!
786
00:33:23,253 --> 00:33:24,671
‐ [children cheer]
‐ Conga?!
787
00:33:26,840 --> 00:33:29,092
CHILDREN:
♪ Conga, conga, conga! ♪
788
00:33:29,092 --> 00:33:35,098
[chanting]:
♪ Conga, conga, conga! ♪
789
00:33:35,807 --> 00:33:37,643
[zombies snarling]
790
00:33:39,937 --> 00:33:41,688
AUDREY:
This way, kiddies!
791
00:33:42,523 --> 00:33:47,069
♪ Old Macdonald had a farm ♪
792
00:33:47,069 --> 00:33:49,863
♪ E‐I‐E‐I‐O... ♪
793
00:33:49,863 --> 00:33:52,950
‐ Pew! Pew! Pew! Pew! Pew!
794
00:33:52,950 --> 00:33:55,410
[moaning]
795
00:33:55,953 --> 00:33:57,204
Pew, pew!
796
00:33:57,996 --> 00:34:00,165
♪ Baa‐baa here and a baaaaa... ♪
797
00:34:01,416 --> 00:34:04,670
♪ Here a baa, there a baa
Everywhere a baa‐baa! ♪
798
00:34:04,670 --> 00:34:05,546
[Dave moans]
799
00:34:05,546 --> 00:34:08,632
‐ [zombie roars]
‐ Arggh! [grunts]
800
00:34:08,632 --> 00:34:09,633
AUDREY:
♪ E‐I‐E‐I‐O... ♪
801
00:34:09,633 --> 00:34:12,594
‐ He almost tagged you!
DAVE: Yeah. Didn't get me, though.
802
00:34:12,594 --> 00:34:14,513
[Audrey strumming]
803
00:34:14,513 --> 00:34:16,098
AUDREY:
This way to the bus, kids.
804
00:34:16,098 --> 00:34:17,391
GIRL:
I don't want to be here!
805
00:34:17,391 --> 00:34:21,228
‐ ♪ Old Macdonald had a farm ♪
806
00:34:21,228 --> 00:34:22,145
♪ E‐I‐E... ♪
807
00:34:22,145 --> 00:34:23,647
‐ Watch out, Dave!
‐ Yarggh!
808
00:34:25,190 --> 00:34:27,484
[panting, whimpering]
809
00:34:27,484 --> 00:34:29,611
‐ [moans]
810
00:34:33,657 --> 00:34:34,700
DAVE:
There's the bus!
811
00:34:36,493 --> 00:34:37,661
AUDREY:
We're almost there.
812
00:34:40,581 --> 00:34:41,790
‐ Oh, God!
813
00:34:43,667 --> 00:34:46,712
BUS DRIVER [screaming]:
No! They're in the bus!
814
00:34:46,712 --> 00:34:48,338
Don't come this way!
815
00:34:48,338 --> 00:34:50,299
AUDREY:
Okay. Change of plan.
816
00:34:50,299 --> 00:34:53,177
[zombies moaning]
817
00:34:57,181 --> 00:34:59,600
‐ Locked!
‐ Go away!
818
00:34:59,600 --> 00:35:03,395
‐ Oh! Open the door.
Teddy McGiggle, it's me!
819
00:35:03,395 --> 00:35:05,981
‐ Oh, I'm so sorry.
I didn't see you there.
820
00:35:05,981 --> 00:35:09,610
But see, the problem is I was here first,
so you've got to go fuck yourself.
821
00:35:09,610 --> 00:35:12,404
KIDS: ♪ Bad word! Bad word! ♪
‐ We have kids out here!
822
00:35:12,404 --> 00:35:15,407
‐ Oh! Oh, my God!
I don't give a shit.
823
00:35:15,407 --> 00:35:17,743
‐ You can't leave the kids out here!
824
00:35:17,743 --> 00:35:19,870
[zombies snarling, moaning]
825
00:35:19,870 --> 00:35:21,622
‐ Unlock the door!
826
00:35:21,622 --> 00:35:22,998
TEDDY:
Unlock my dick!
827
00:35:24,166 --> 00:35:26,168
‐ This way. Oh, look.
828
00:35:26,168 --> 00:35:28,170
Okay. Who wants to be a wiggle worm?!
829
00:35:28,170 --> 00:35:30,631
TEDDY: The fuck are you doing?!
Get them away from here!
830
00:35:30,631 --> 00:35:33,091
‐ In you go. Nice and safe.
Nice and safe.
831
00:35:33,091 --> 00:35:34,384
TEDDY: Hey!
832
00:35:34,384 --> 00:35:36,970
He's meals on wheels!
Leave him!
833
00:35:36,970 --> 00:35:40,557
AUDREY:
Up! And through there!
834
00:35:40,557 --> 00:35:43,393
‐ Hey! Get her to stop doing that!
835
00:35:43,393 --> 00:35:46,021
DAVE: Open the door!
TEDDY: Leave them alone out there!
836
00:35:46,021 --> 00:35:47,231
DAVE:
Are you serious?!
837
00:35:47,231 --> 00:35:49,983
TEDDY:
Leave those little fuckers to those guys!
838
00:35:49,983 --> 00:35:51,401
DAVE:
What the hell is wrong with you?
839
00:35:51,401 --> 00:35:54,196
‐ You're both being real cocks right now!
840
00:35:55,113 --> 00:35:56,198
[grunts]
841
00:35:56,198 --> 00:35:58,367
[zombies moaning]
842
00:35:59,660 --> 00:36:01,662
‐ Miss Caroline! [grunts] Help!
843
00:36:01,662 --> 00:36:02,996
Arggh!
844
00:36:06,500 --> 00:36:09,253
[grunts, panting]
845
00:36:09,253 --> 00:36:10,963
Miss Caroline!
846
00:36:10,963 --> 00:36:12,631
[whimpers]
847
00:36:12,631 --> 00:36:13,674
Fuck you!
848
00:36:33,026 --> 00:36:34,444
‐ Let us in, please!
849
00:36:34,444 --> 00:36:36,154
TEDDY:
No, you're not coming in! Go away!
850
00:36:36,154 --> 00:36:37,656
[zombie snarls]
851
00:36:39,992 --> 00:36:41,618
TEDDY:
Wait. No, no, what is that?
852
00:36:41,618 --> 00:36:42,953
There's somebody on the roof!
853
00:36:44,288 --> 00:36:45,706
Stop it!
854
00:36:45,706 --> 00:36:48,417
Get the fuck off of there!
855
00:36:48,417 --> 00:36:51,420
You bring those bastards here,
I'll fucking‐‐
856
00:36:51,420 --> 00:36:53,422
[Dave yelling]
857
00:36:53,422 --> 00:36:55,507
‐ [Teddy grunts]
‐ Oh!
858
00:36:56,425 --> 00:36:57,509
[both groaning]
859
00:37:00,012 --> 00:37:02,014
[Dave coughs]
860
00:37:04,349 --> 00:37:05,601
‐ Ahhh!
861
00:37:05,601 --> 00:37:08,103
Arggh! [groans]
862
00:37:08,103 --> 00:37:09,188
What are you doing?
863
00:37:10,355 --> 00:37:12,608
What the...?! Jesus!
864
00:37:15,110 --> 00:37:17,070
[gagging]
865
00:37:20,407 --> 00:37:21,658
You f...!
866
00:37:23,076 --> 00:37:25,245
[both yelling]
867
00:37:25,245 --> 00:37:26,788
AUDREY:
Oh! Ooh!
868
00:37:26,788 --> 00:37:28,665
TEDDY:
You eat my dick!
869
00:37:28,665 --> 00:37:30,417
CHILDREN:
♪ Bad word! Bad word! ♪
870
00:37:30,417 --> 00:37:33,337
♪ 'Cause you said a bad thing... ♪
871
00:37:33,337 --> 00:37:34,421
TEDDY:
You little bitch!
872
00:37:34,421 --> 00:37:35,797
♪ We all have to sing... ♪
873
00:37:35,797 --> 00:37:38,300
‐ [Teddy gnarling]
‐ [screams]
874
00:37:38,300 --> 00:37:44,056
[both grunting, yelling]
875
00:37:47,017 --> 00:37:50,145
[panting]
876
00:37:50,145 --> 00:37:53,148
TEDDY: Come here,
you pretty little chubby princess!
877
00:37:55,984 --> 00:37:59,112
I'm gonna bash this on your head,
you fat fucking monkey!
878
00:37:59,112 --> 00:38:01,198
‐ You're a fucking psycho!
879
00:38:01,198 --> 00:38:03,200
TEDDY:
Get away from that door, boy titties!
880
00:38:03,200 --> 00:38:05,077
[Dave yelling]
881
00:38:05,077 --> 00:38:06,662
[both grunting]
882
00:38:10,666 --> 00:38:12,543
‐ Arggh! Arggh!
883
00:38:12,543 --> 00:38:13,460
Arggh!
884
00:38:13,460 --> 00:38:15,212
[glass shatters]
885
00:38:15,212 --> 00:38:16,255
TEDDY: Shit.
886
00:38:17,631 --> 00:38:18,632
My face!
887
00:38:23,929 --> 00:38:24,930
No.
888
00:38:25,597 --> 00:38:26,890
[roars]
889
00:38:29,393 --> 00:38:32,020
[panting]
890
00:38:40,404 --> 00:38:42,406
‐ [breathlessly]: Hey.
FELIX: Hi, Uncle David.
891
00:38:44,283 --> 00:38:46,577
[zombie moaning]
892
00:38:51,874 --> 00:38:53,709
[screaming]
893
00:38:57,045 --> 00:38:59,715
RADIO: Attention, all units.
Attention, all units.
894
00:38:59,715 --> 00:39:02,593
Reinforcements have arrived.
Set up a perimeter.
895
00:39:13,353 --> 00:39:15,189
‐ Door's secure.
896
00:39:15,189 --> 00:39:16,607
Still no signal, though.
897
00:39:17,649 --> 00:39:19,443
‐ Miss Caroline! Miss Caroline!
898
00:39:19,443 --> 00:39:20,986
‐ Max, that's not safe!
899
00:39:20,986 --> 00:39:23,238
Put it back where you found it.
900
00:39:24,114 --> 00:39:25,782
There's no landline either.
901
00:39:25,782 --> 00:39:28,619
‐ This is fun.
‐ It is a bit scary.
902
00:39:28,619 --> 00:39:30,996
AUDREY: It's meant to be scary.
It's part of the game.
903
00:39:30,996 --> 00:39:36,168
And you know what?
We all just won first level.
904
00:39:37,044 --> 00:39:39,755
Yes?
‐ How many more levels will there be?
905
00:39:40,506 --> 00:39:41,965
‐ Mmm... Max?
906
00:39:41,965 --> 00:39:44,176
‐ When will we play putt‐putt golf?
907
00:39:44,176 --> 00:39:46,428
‐ Later. Kim?
908
00:39:46,428 --> 00:39:47,846
‐ What's wrong with Teddy McGiggle?
909
00:39:49,598 --> 00:39:53,560
‐ Teddy McGiggle is just...
not happy because we're winning.
910
00:39:53,560 --> 00:39:57,356
TEDDY: Nobody's coming for us.
We're all gonna die.
911
00:39:57,356 --> 00:39:59,608
‐ Are we gonna die, Miss Caroline?
912
00:39:59,608 --> 00:40:01,735
‐ No! Of course not.
913
00:40:01,735 --> 00:40:04,321
My job is to keep you safe.
That's what I'll do.
914
00:40:04,321 --> 00:40:05,781
‐ Where's Frogsie?
915
00:40:06,406 --> 00:40:07,658
‐ Frogsie didn't make it.
916
00:40:09,326 --> 00:40:11,620
‐ I need you to calm down, Teddy McGiggle.
917
00:40:11,620 --> 00:40:13,664
‐ Don't you dare tell me what to do.
918
00:40:14,540 --> 00:40:17,876
Those things out there ate my cameraman.
919
00:40:17,876 --> 00:40:19,920
They ate him!
920
00:40:19,920 --> 00:40:22,130
[zombies moaning]
921
00:40:23,423 --> 00:40:26,343
And not just them.
Little dead‐eyed kids.
922
00:40:26,343 --> 00:40:28,136
Like Children Of The Corn.
923
00:40:28,136 --> 00:40:29,721
And if they don't eat you,
924
00:40:29,721 --> 00:40:32,641
you get bit and then you become
one of them.
925
00:40:33,600 --> 00:40:36,728
They're... They're zombies.
926
00:40:36,728 --> 00:40:38,480
‐ Like in the shooty game?
927
00:40:38,480 --> 00:40:40,190
‐ Like in the shooty game!
928
00:40:40,190 --> 00:40:44,611
Can you tell us what the zombies do
in the... shooty game, please, Felix?
929
00:40:44,611 --> 00:40:46,613
FELIX:
Well, if you make noise, they hear you.
930
00:40:46,613 --> 00:40:48,615
They walk around and try to bite you.
931
00:40:48,615 --> 00:40:50,659
And the only way you can stop them
932
00:40:50,659 --> 00:40:53,453
is by shooting them in the face
with your shooty gun
933
00:40:53,453 --> 00:40:54,997
or chopping their heads off.
934
00:40:54,997 --> 00:40:57,583
‐ Okay. But are the zombies real?
935
00:40:57,583 --> 00:40:59,626
FELIX: No. It's just a game,
936
00:40:59,626 --> 00:41:03,172
but Uncle David lets me play it
when my mom's asleep.
937
00:41:04,715 --> 00:41:08,594
‐ Well, there you go.
The zombies are not real.
938
00:41:08,594 --> 00:41:10,554
TEDDY:
Like fuck they're not!
939
00:41:10,554 --> 00:41:12,890
The Easter Bunny isn't fucking real!
940
00:41:12,890 --> 00:41:15,475
Father fucking Christmas isn't real!
941
00:41:15,475 --> 00:41:20,022
These inquisitive dead‐eyed
fucking faces are real!
942
00:41:20,022 --> 00:41:22,566
‐ ♪ Bad word! Bad word! ♪
943
00:41:22,566 --> 00:41:25,360
♪ 'Cause you said a bad thing, now‐‐ ♪
944
00:41:25,360 --> 00:41:28,363
‐ Shut the fuck up!
945
00:41:28,363 --> 00:41:31,200
Teddy McGiggle's gonna fill you guys in
on some fast‐breaking news.
946
00:41:31,200 --> 00:41:32,284
Bad word song?
947
00:41:32,284 --> 00:41:34,661
That existed at a time
when people weren't
948
00:41:34,661 --> 00:41:37,956
having their faces ripped off
by motherfucking zombies.
949
00:41:37,956 --> 00:41:41,126
Fuckity fuck‐fuck fuck!
950
00:41:41,126 --> 00:41:43,462
You fucking little duckies!
951
00:41:43,462 --> 00:41:45,714
‐ Teddy McGiggle just needs a cuddle.
952
00:41:45,714 --> 00:41:48,425
Come here. Let's have a word.
953
00:41:48,425 --> 00:41:50,427
‐ I don't want a cuddle.
‐ Listen, Okay?
954
00:41:50,427 --> 00:41:53,096
You're going to change
that attitude right now.
955
00:41:53,096 --> 00:41:54,848
‐ Fucking zombies.
956
00:41:56,683 --> 00:41:58,560
‐ This is not a negotiation.
957
00:41:58,560 --> 00:42:00,562
[sobs]
958
00:42:00,562 --> 00:42:02,564
‐ Guys, who's hungry?
‐ [children cheer]
959
00:42:02,564 --> 00:42:04,650
‐ Yeah? Okay. Well, come get some.
960
00:42:04,650 --> 00:42:06,026
Here you go, mate.
961
00:42:06,026 --> 00:42:09,029
‐ Are these okay, Uncle David?
‐ Yeah.
962
00:42:09,029 --> 00:42:11,114
‐ Why is Teddy McGiggle crying?
963
00:42:11,114 --> 00:42:13,158
‐ I'm a celebrity.
964
00:42:13,158 --> 00:42:15,452
‐ No. You're a liability.
965
00:42:15,452 --> 00:42:18,705
I have no idea what
we're all dealing with here,
966
00:42:18,705 --> 00:42:21,625
but my only responsibility
is for these children's safety.
967
00:42:21,625 --> 00:42:23,627
If they are put in danger
968
00:42:23,627 --> 00:42:27,005
by anyone outside or inside
the souvenir kiosk,
969
00:42:27,005 --> 00:42:29,716
my job is to remove that danger.
970
00:42:29,716 --> 00:42:32,553
I'm not going to let
these children be traumatized
971
00:42:32,553 --> 00:42:35,222
by having them think a zombie
is going to eat them alive.
972
00:42:35,222 --> 00:42:37,683
So, right at this very moment,
973
00:42:37,683 --> 00:42:40,561
these children believe they are
in the middle of a game.
974
00:42:40,561 --> 00:42:43,272
A fun, harmless game.
975
00:42:43,272 --> 00:42:46,149
So if you don't turn that frown
upside down, then, so help me God,
976
00:42:46,149 --> 00:42:49,611
I am going to drag you out
by that stupid bow tie
977
00:42:49,611 --> 00:42:51,613
and watch them rip you apart!
978
00:42:51,613 --> 00:42:53,031
Do I make myself clear?
979
00:42:55,075 --> 00:42:58,453
Let me hear you say, "It's a game,"
so loud, they can hear.
980
00:42:58,453 --> 00:42:59,955
‐ [murmurs]:
It's a game.
981
00:42:59,955 --> 00:43:02,332
‐ In the voice, you moron.
982
00:43:02,332 --> 00:43:03,500
‐ [yelps] It's a game!
983
00:43:04,209 --> 00:43:05,419
This is a game!
984
00:43:05,419 --> 00:43:08,255
‐ Uh‐huh. Do the laugh.
985
00:43:08,255 --> 00:43:10,883
‐ I don't want to.
‐ Do the laugh.
986
00:43:10,883 --> 00:43:15,429
[guffaws loudly]
987
00:43:16,305 --> 00:43:17,890
‐ And stop fucking swearing.
988
00:43:21,059 --> 00:43:22,477
[all laugh]
989
00:43:22,477 --> 00:43:25,063
‐ You can consider this
the naughty corner.
990
00:43:25,063 --> 00:43:28,817
[coughing]
991
00:43:28,817 --> 00:43:29,902
‐ You okay?
992
00:43:30,694 --> 00:43:31,737
‐ Cough it up, mate.
993
00:43:31,737 --> 00:43:33,113
[choking]
994
00:43:33,113 --> 00:43:35,616
‐ [Felix coughing]
DAVE: Cough it up.
995
00:43:35,616 --> 00:43:38,744
‐ What did you eat, Felix?
It's anaphylaxis.
996
00:43:38,744 --> 00:43:40,662
DAVE:
No. No, they're just chips.
997
00:43:40,662 --> 00:43:42,164
‐ They'd have dairy in them.
998
00:43:42,164 --> 00:43:44,416
‐ Who the fuck puts milk in chips?
999
00:43:44,416 --> 00:43:46,376
‐ Just breathe, okay?
1000
00:43:46,376 --> 00:43:47,669
‐ What do we do?
‐ My bum bag.
1001
00:43:47,669 --> 00:43:49,713
The DreniPenny was in my bum bag.
1002
00:43:49,713 --> 00:43:50,797
DAVE: I've got one. I've got one.
1003
00:43:50,797 --> 00:43:52,758
‐ Oh. Give it...
‐ I can do it. I can do it.
1004
00:43:52,758 --> 00:43:55,302
‐ Okay. Okay, kids.
1005
00:43:55,302 --> 00:43:58,347
Don't worry.
Felix just needs some room, okay?
1006
00:43:58,347 --> 00:43:59,598
‐ Here we go.
1007
00:43:59,598 --> 00:44:02,559
Uh, "Orange in the sky,
blue in the... thigh."
1008
00:44:03,852 --> 00:44:06,563
DAVE: Arggh! [groans]
‐ Oh, dear.
1009
00:44:06,563 --> 00:44:09,024
‐ What?!
‐ No, no. It's fine. Here.
1010
00:44:09,024 --> 00:44:10,901
‐ No, you can't reinsert it!
‐ No.
1011
00:44:10,901 --> 00:44:12,653
No! Um...
1012
00:44:12,653 --> 00:44:14,613
There's a spare!
Tess packed a spare!
1013
00:44:14,613 --> 00:44:17,074
‐ Where is it?
‐ It's, it's‐‐ in his backpack!
1014
00:44:19,117 --> 00:44:20,369
I'll go get it. I'll go get it.
1015
00:44:20,369 --> 00:44:22,162
FELIX [weakly]:
Don't leave.
1016
00:44:22,162 --> 00:44:24,873
[wheezing]
1017
00:44:24,873 --> 00:44:26,875
‐ I'm here.
1018
00:44:26,875 --> 00:44:29,169
AUDREY: Okay, kids.
‐ [Felix wheezes]
1019
00:44:29,169 --> 00:44:32,339
‐ No, no. I'm right here, bud.
I'm right here.
1020
00:44:32,339 --> 00:44:35,634
‐ Listen very carefully.
I need you to stay here with David.
1021
00:44:35,634 --> 00:44:38,679
Hold hands and don't let go
until I get back.
1022
00:44:38,679 --> 00:44:40,138
Okay?
1023
00:44:40,138 --> 00:44:42,683
DAVE:
Breathe. You'll be all right.
1024
00:44:42,683 --> 00:44:45,185
‐ Get them to stop the game,
Miss Caroline!
1025
00:44:45,185 --> 00:44:47,729
‐ Don't worry about it.
I'll just pop right up and let them know.
1026
00:44:47,729 --> 00:44:49,815
‐ Breathe. You're all right.
1027
00:44:49,815 --> 00:44:52,693
You'll be all right.
There we go. Breathing.
1028
00:44:52,693 --> 00:44:55,028
♪
1029
00:44:57,781 --> 00:44:59,366
[growling]
1030
00:45:04,121 --> 00:45:05,414
[screams]
1031
00:45:05,414 --> 00:45:07,624
[zombies moaning]
1032
00:45:13,130 --> 00:45:14,173
[screams]
1033
00:45:35,819 --> 00:45:36,904
[zombie snarls]
1034
00:45:43,785 --> 00:45:45,829
[panting]
1035
00:45:48,999 --> 00:45:50,000
[Felix wheezing]
1036
00:45:50,000 --> 00:45:53,504
‐ Just try to breathe, mate, please.
Keep breathing.
1037
00:45:55,464 --> 00:45:58,675
[zombies growling]
1038
00:46:09,770 --> 00:46:10,812
‐ Argh!
1039
00:46:13,899 --> 00:46:17,152
[zombie laughing menacingly]
1040
00:46:17,819 --> 00:46:19,613
‐ We get through this,
you can dress up as Darth Vader
1041
00:46:19,613 --> 00:46:20,989
and play the shooty game
as much as you want.
1042
00:46:20,989 --> 00:46:22,241
I don't care what your mom says.
1043
00:46:28,789 --> 00:46:29,831
[screams]
1044
00:46:41,635 --> 00:46:42,594
‐ You!
1045
00:46:54,565 --> 00:46:55,816
[yells]
1046
00:46:57,818 --> 00:46:59,611
‐ Guys, what do we do when we're scared?
1047
00:46:59,611 --> 00:47:02,114
What's a song we can sing?
What's his favorite song?
1048
00:47:02,114 --> 00:47:04,032
‐ "Shake It Off."
‐ "Shake It Off"?
1049
00:47:04,032 --> 00:47:06,410
How does it start?
Beth, can you sing it for him?
1050
00:47:07,244 --> 00:47:09,037
‐ ♪ I stay out too late ♪
1051
00:47:10,497 --> 00:47:11,832
♪ Got nothing in my... ♪
1052
00:47:11,832 --> 00:47:13,750
[screams]
1053
00:47:15,836 --> 00:47:17,504
[panting]
1054
00:47:21,508 --> 00:47:22,676
‐ Typical!
1055
00:47:25,095 --> 00:47:29,141
‐ ♪ 'Cause the players gonna
play, play, play, play, play ♪
1056
00:47:29,141 --> 00:47:33,312
♪ Baby, I'm just gonna shake,
shake, shake, shake, shake... ♪
1057
00:47:33,312 --> 00:47:35,522
♪
1058
00:47:53,332 --> 00:47:55,375
[Audrey shouting]
1059
00:47:56,043 --> 00:47:59,046
‐ ♪ I'm just gonna shake, shake,
shake, shake, shake ♪
1060
00:47:59,046 --> 00:48:01,590
♪ Shake it off,
shake it off... ♪
1061
00:48:01,590 --> 00:48:02,508
[crashing]
1062
00:48:05,594 --> 00:48:07,513
‐ Oh, yes! Quick! Is that it?
1063
00:48:08,597 --> 00:48:09,765
Here we go, mate.
1064
00:48:11,266 --> 00:48:13,894
Oh, here we go. Here we go.
‐ Okay. Hold still.
1065
00:48:15,437 --> 00:48:16,563
DAVE:
Yes.
1066
00:48:20,275 --> 00:48:21,360
Did it work?
1067
00:48:21,360 --> 00:48:22,861
‐ [Felix wheezing]
‐ Well?
1068
00:48:27,908 --> 00:48:29,910
[gasps deeply]
1069
00:48:31,828 --> 00:48:34,164
Oh! Oh, God!
1070
00:48:36,291 --> 00:48:37,376
Thank you, Miss Caroline.
1071
00:48:37,376 --> 00:48:39,086
‐ It's my job.
1072
00:48:39,878 --> 00:48:41,839
And you've got to call me Audrey.
1073
00:48:41,839 --> 00:48:43,173
‐ Yeah.
1074
00:48:45,884 --> 00:48:47,177
CHILDREN: Eugh!
1075
00:48:47,177 --> 00:48:49,054
‐ Oh... I...
1076
00:48:49,054 --> 00:48:51,682
...g‐got caught in the middle
of a jam fight!
1077
00:48:51,682 --> 00:48:52,975
[gasps]
1078
00:48:52,975 --> 00:48:55,227
‐ I am covered in strawberry jam!
[laughs]
1079
00:48:55,227 --> 00:48:58,105
Eugh. Don't taste it, okay?
[chuckles]
1080
00:48:58,105 --> 00:49:00,399
BOY: What jam?
‐ Felix will be fine.
1081
00:49:00,399 --> 00:49:03,652
[all cheering, squealing]
1082
00:49:10,409 --> 00:49:13,036
♪
1083
00:49:16,415 --> 00:49:17,666
[helicopter approaches]
1084
00:49:17,666 --> 00:49:19,459
TEDDY:
Stop screaming, please!
1085
00:49:19,459 --> 00:49:20,961
Just shut up!
1086
00:49:20,961 --> 00:49:22,546
What is that noise?
1087
00:49:22,546 --> 00:49:25,716
It's a helicopter!
They've come to get me!
1088
00:49:26,842 --> 00:49:28,177
Get out of my way!
1089
00:49:28,177 --> 00:49:29,761
‐ [objects smashing]
DAVE: What the...?!
1090
00:49:29,761 --> 00:49:32,764
‐ I'm coming! They found me!
1091
00:49:34,183 --> 00:49:37,144
Hey! Hey! Hey!
1092
00:49:38,520 --> 00:49:40,814
It's me! I'm a celebr‐‐
1093
00:49:40,814 --> 00:49:43,775
Oh! Arggh! Oh, fuck!
1094
00:49:45,694 --> 00:49:47,779
[zombies moaning]
1095
00:49:49,781 --> 00:49:50,866
Whoa!
1096
00:49:51,867 --> 00:49:52,951
Fuck!
1097
00:49:53,619 --> 00:49:56,288
Open up! Hey!
Can you open the door?
1098
00:49:56,288 --> 00:49:58,790
I'm sorry about what happened
before, but you‐‐
1099
00:49:58,790 --> 00:50:00,375
Get the fuck over here!
1100
00:50:00,375 --> 00:50:02,377
Please?!
1101
00:50:02,377 --> 00:50:05,255
I'm just scared. Open the door.
1102
00:50:05,255 --> 00:50:09,218
You're being a bad teacher!
Fuck your teaching method!
1103
00:50:09,218 --> 00:50:11,762
This is a terrible example you're setting!
1104
00:50:11,762 --> 00:50:13,764
Argh! Argh!
1105
00:50:13,764 --> 00:50:16,767
[zombies moaning]
1106
00:50:19,770 --> 00:50:20,729
‐ Teddy!
1107
00:50:21,230 --> 00:50:22,272
Get up!
1108
00:50:22,606 --> 00:50:25,359
Come on! Give me your hand!
1109
00:50:25,359 --> 00:50:27,236
[zombies moaning]
1110
00:50:40,791 --> 00:50:43,752
[both panting]
1111
00:50:45,796 --> 00:50:48,549
TEDDY:
Oh, this is all my fault.
1112
00:50:48,549 --> 00:50:51,593
God is punishing me.
‐ Wait, what do you mean?
1113
00:50:51,593 --> 00:50:55,556
‐ I've been bad, man.
I've been really fucking bad.
1114
00:50:55,556 --> 00:50:57,474
‐ I'm sure we've all done
things we regret.
1115
00:50:57,474 --> 00:50:59,768
‐ I fucked a shit‐ton of moms.
1116
00:50:59,768 --> 00:51:03,313
We're talking thousands.
Thousands.
1117
00:51:03,313 --> 00:51:06,775
I was doing my first public appearance,
1118
00:51:06,775 --> 00:51:11,780
and this sweet little single mom
came up to me after the autograph signing.
1119
00:51:11,780 --> 00:51:14,116
And she was so fucking beautiful.
1120
00:51:14,116 --> 00:51:18,161
And I went down on her pussy
in a South Coast Plaza disabled toilet.
1121
00:51:18,161 --> 00:51:19,997
And then it was on.
1122
00:51:19,997 --> 00:51:22,833
I just...
I took whoever I could get.
1123
00:51:22,833 --> 00:51:25,335
Single moms, married moms, pregnant moms,
1124
00:51:25,335 --> 00:51:29,173
white moms, black moms, dyke moms, Jews.
1125
00:51:30,549 --> 00:51:34,761
‐ My nephew almost died. I'm‐‐
‐ I studied at the Actors Studio.
1126
00:51:34,761 --> 00:51:37,764
I learnt Meisner from Pacino.
1127
00:51:37,764 --> 00:51:39,016
Al.
1128
00:51:40,976 --> 00:51:43,395
You think I wanted to be
in a polka dot suit
1129
00:51:43,395 --> 00:51:45,105
for the rest of my life?
1130
00:51:45,939 --> 00:51:48,150
I fucking hate
those little kiddlywinks.
1131
00:51:49,526 --> 00:51:52,738
Fucking the shit out of their moms
was the only thing that made it better.
1132
00:51:52,738 --> 00:51:54,573
Until it didn't.
1133
00:51:54,573 --> 00:51:56,575
You realize that you're only doing it‐‐
1134
00:51:56,575 --> 00:51:58,076
[slaps him]
Look at me.
1135
00:51:58,076 --> 00:52:02,623
You realize that you're only doing it
because you're dead inside.
1136
00:52:03,916 --> 00:52:07,794
And it's the only thing that's keeping you
from killing yourself.
1137
00:52:10,631 --> 00:52:12,049
‐ I'm Dave.
1138
00:52:13,509 --> 00:52:15,928
‐ Teddy McGiggle isn't even my real name.
1139
00:52:16,637 --> 00:52:18,430
It's Nathan.
1140
00:52:18,430 --> 00:52:19,598
‐ Nathan McGiggle.
1141
00:52:19,598 --> 00:52:21,391
‐ Nathan Schneider.
‐ Oh.
1142
00:52:22,768 --> 00:52:24,645
[sniffs]
1143
00:52:25,229 --> 00:52:27,397
‐ What is that awful smell?
1144
00:52:31,109 --> 00:52:33,111
It's me, man. I was lying.
1145
00:52:33,111 --> 00:52:36,532
I was gonna blame you, but I can't.
I shit my pants.
1146
00:52:37,908 --> 00:52:40,786
Ohh, God!
[sobs]
1147
00:52:40,786 --> 00:52:42,746
I did it.
1148
00:52:47,084 --> 00:52:49,795
Ohh, no!
1149
00:52:49,795 --> 00:52:52,089
[sobs]
1150
00:53:04,643 --> 00:53:06,979
♪
1151
00:53:06,979 --> 00:53:09,523
[radio chatter]
1152
00:53:16,822 --> 00:53:19,241
‐ Sir? This could be helpful.
1153
00:53:19,241 --> 00:53:24,371
Aerial reconnaissance confirms
all of the infected are congregated here.
1154
00:53:24,371 --> 00:53:27,708
I would advise
we drop the bomb on the...
1155
00:53:27,708 --> 00:53:29,751
...Pleasant Valley souvenir store.
1156
00:53:37,718 --> 00:53:43,724
AUDREY:
♪ Well, I'd like to visit the moon ♪
1157
00:53:43,724 --> 00:53:44,766
[Teddy sobbing]
1158
00:53:44,766 --> 00:53:50,772
AUDREY:
♪ On a rocket ship high in the air ♪
1159
00:53:51,857 --> 00:53:57,863
♪ Yes, I'd like to visit the moon ♪
1160
00:53:59,031 --> 00:54:04,828
♪ But I don't think
I'd like to live there ♪
1161
00:54:06,121 --> 00:54:09,333
♪ Though I'd like to look down ♪
1162
00:54:09,333 --> 00:54:13,253
♪ At the earth from above ♪
1163
00:54:13,253 --> 00:54:16,882
♪ I would miss all the places ♪
1164
00:54:16,882 --> 00:54:20,135
♪ And people I love ♪
1165
00:54:20,135 --> 00:54:24,264
♪ So although I may like it ♪
1166
00:54:24,264 --> 00:54:28,185
♪ For one afternoon ♪
1167
00:54:28,185 --> 00:54:34,191
♪ I don't want to live
on the moon ♪
1168
00:54:34,191 --> 00:54:37,277
♪ Though I'd like to look down ♪
1169
00:54:37,277 --> 00:54:41,823
♪ At the earth from above ♪
1170
00:54:41,823 --> 00:54:46,203
♪ I would miss all the places ♪
1171
00:54:46,203 --> 00:54:49,790
♪ And people I love ♪
1172
00:54:49,790 --> 00:54:53,418
♪ So although I may go ♪
1173
00:54:53,418 --> 00:54:58,590
♪ I'll be coming home soon ♪
1174
00:54:58,590 --> 00:55:01,718
♪ 'Cause I don't want to live ♪
1175
00:55:01,718 --> 00:55:06,265
♪ On the moon ♪
1176
00:55:06,265 --> 00:55:09,476
♪ No, I don't ♪
1177
00:55:09,476 --> 00:55:14,106
♪ Want to live ♪
1178
00:55:14,106 --> 00:55:17,901
♪ On the moon ♪
1179
00:55:23,490 --> 00:55:25,534
Sweet dreams, duckies.
1180
00:55:25,534 --> 00:55:27,452
CHILDREN:
Good night.
1181
00:55:29,454 --> 00:55:30,497
Yes, Mickey?
1182
00:55:30,497 --> 00:55:33,458
‐ Miss Caroline,
is there anything to eat?
1183
00:55:33,458 --> 00:55:36,461
‐ I'm afraid you ate
the last of the chips.
1184
00:55:36,461 --> 00:55:39,006
‐ I have tofu snacks
if you want them, Mickey.
1185
00:55:39,006 --> 00:55:40,215
‐ Yuck.
1186
00:55:40,841 --> 00:55:44,553
‐ When are we gonna play
putt‐putt golf, Miss Caroline?
1187
00:55:44,553 --> 00:55:47,973
‐ Certainly not now.
Go to sleep.
1188
00:55:54,688 --> 00:55:55,814
‐ This is ridiculous.
1189
00:55:55,814 --> 00:55:57,816
‐ What's the US military
even doing here?
1190
00:55:57,816 --> 00:55:59,151
‐ Excuse me!
1191
00:55:59,151 --> 00:56:02,779
My son is inside.
Why won't you let us through?
1192
00:56:04,364 --> 00:56:06,283
I'm gonna try him again.
1193
00:56:06,283 --> 00:56:12,206
‐ Got kangaroo, platypus,
echidna, wombat. Dingo?
1194
00:56:12,206 --> 00:56:14,541
‐ Lieutenant, sir.
Why are we here?
1195
00:56:14,541 --> 00:56:17,294
‐ Zombies again.
‐ Well, fast ones or slow ones, sir?
1196
00:56:17,294 --> 00:56:19,796
‐ Slow.
We need to contain the infection,
1197
00:56:19,796 --> 00:56:21,798
so shoot anything that moves.
1198
00:56:22,799 --> 00:56:24,718
‐ Thank God they're slow.
1199
00:56:24,718 --> 00:56:25,969
‐ Mm‐hmm.
1200
00:56:27,763 --> 00:56:30,766
DAVE [on voicemail]: Hey, it's Dave.
Just leave a message.
1201
00:56:30,766 --> 00:56:33,727
‐ Dave, I'm here. I'm nearby.
1202
00:56:33,727 --> 00:56:36,813
They won't let me past to where you are,
and they won't tell us anything.
1203
00:56:40,317 --> 00:56:41,443
If you get this message,
1204
00:56:41,443 --> 00:56:43,820
could you please tell Felix
that Mommy loves him?
1205
00:56:46,323 --> 00:56:48,283
Dave, please look after him.
1206
00:56:52,829 --> 00:56:55,541
‐ Hey. Are you okay, mate?
1207
00:56:55,541 --> 00:56:58,794
‐ Yes, but Beth is a bit frightened.
1208
00:56:58,794 --> 00:57:01,588
‐ My mom puts me to bed.
1209
00:57:01,588 --> 00:57:03,549
‐ Oh.
1210
00:57:03,549 --> 00:57:05,217
Well, we're gonna see your mom tomorrow.
1211
00:57:05,217 --> 00:57:06,677
‐ I'm scared.
1212
00:57:06,677 --> 00:57:10,514
‐ My mommy made up a special rhyme
to help me go to sleep.
1213
00:57:10,514 --> 00:57:12,307
Do you want to hear it?
1214
00:57:13,517 --> 00:57:17,354
"Now the day is over
and I'm in bed, rugged up tight,
1215
00:57:17,354 --> 00:57:20,941
"I hope those little monsters
won't get me in the night.
1216
00:57:20,941 --> 00:57:24,820
"If I say this little rhyme,
they'll try to put up a fight,
1217
00:57:24,820 --> 00:57:26,029
"But they won't come get me,
1218
00:57:26,029 --> 00:57:28,782
"No, they won't give me a fright.
1219
00:57:28,782 --> 00:57:31,577
Little monsters, you go away!
Little monsters‐‐"
1220
00:57:31,577 --> 00:57:34,788
‐ Oh, I think we need Beth
to help with this bit, yeah?
1221
00:57:34,788 --> 00:57:37,791
Beth, when I point at you,
can you say, "Go away"?
1222
00:57:37,791 --> 00:57:39,793
‐ Go away?
‐ Yeah, exactly like that.
1223
00:57:39,793 --> 00:57:41,295
Yeah. Okay, let's start again.
1224
00:57:41,295 --> 00:57:44,339
FELIX AND DAVE:
"Little monsters, you can't stay!
1225
00:57:44,339 --> 00:57:46,925
"I don't want to see your little claws!
1226
00:57:46,925 --> 00:57:49,761
"I don't want to hear your little roars!
1227
00:57:49,761 --> 00:57:51,013
Little monsters‐‐"
1228
00:57:51,013 --> 00:57:52,139
‐ "Go away!"
1229
00:57:52,139 --> 00:57:54,725
‐ "Come back and see me in the day.
1230
00:57:54,725 --> 00:57:56,852
"We can have a little party
1231
00:57:56,852 --> 00:57:59,813
"And eat cake and tea and play.
1232
00:57:59,813 --> 00:58:02,232
"But we all must get a proper sleep,
1233
00:58:02,232 --> 00:58:04,818
So, little monsters, please..."
1234
00:58:04,818 --> 00:58:06,028
‐ "Go away!"
1235
00:58:06,028 --> 00:58:09,323
‐ [laughs] That's it.
That's exactly it.
1236
00:58:09,323 --> 00:58:10,365
You reckon you can sleep now?
1237
00:58:10,365 --> 00:58:12,701
‐ Mm‐hmm.
‐ Yeah? Okay.
1238
00:58:15,037 --> 00:58:17,789
‐ How did you know the rhyme, Uncle David?
1239
00:58:18,874 --> 00:58:22,794
‐ Well, your mom used to sing it
to me before I went to sleep.
1240
00:58:22,794 --> 00:58:24,796
Back when I was Boo‐Boo.
1241
00:58:24,796 --> 00:58:26,798
‐ [giggles] Boo‐Boo?
‐ [chuckles] Boo‐Boo, yeah.
1242
00:58:26,798 --> 00:58:28,050
You want to get some rest, mate?
1243
00:58:33,722 --> 00:58:35,766
‐ Goodnight, Uncle David.
‐ 'Night, mate.
1244
00:58:37,017 --> 00:58:39,728
[zombies moaning]
1245
00:58:47,653 --> 00:58:50,739
‐ [zombies howling outside]
‐ Oh, God.
1246
00:59:02,543 --> 00:59:03,627
[grunts]
1247
00:59:19,601 --> 00:59:21,562
[sighs]
1248
00:59:25,941 --> 00:59:28,360
‐ Sorry I've been swearing
so much, Audrey.
1249
00:59:29,319 --> 00:59:30,779
‐ That's fine, David.
1250
00:59:32,239 --> 00:59:34,366
I'm fucking terrified too.
1251
00:59:36,118 --> 00:59:39,162
I just need them to feel like
the adults are in control, you know?
1252
00:59:42,457 --> 00:59:46,170
‐ DAVE: How do you do it?
‐ AUDREY: Do what?
1253
00:59:47,045 --> 00:59:48,380
‐ Be a superhero.
1254
00:59:49,381 --> 00:59:50,924
‐ Not quite.
1255
00:59:53,343 --> 00:59:54,970
Do you want kids?
1256
00:59:54,970 --> 00:59:58,348
‐ Oh... my girlfriend and I just split.
1257
00:59:58,348 --> 01:00:00,392
Yeah, I caught her with someone else.
1258
01:00:00,392 --> 01:00:01,351
‐ Oh.
1259
01:00:02,227 --> 01:00:03,478
That's... awful.
1260
01:00:06,648 --> 01:00:07,900
‐ See, it wasn't her fault.
1261
01:00:08,942 --> 01:00:10,402
I left first.
1262
01:00:11,403 --> 01:00:13,405
She wanted a baby. I didn't.
1263
01:00:14,865 --> 01:00:16,158
‐ How come?
1264
01:00:17,409 --> 01:00:19,745
‐ I told her I didn't want it
to get in the way of my band.
1265
01:00:19,745 --> 01:00:22,372
‐ Was that not the reason?
1266
01:00:24,666 --> 01:00:27,669
‐ Felix's mom reckons I might be
frightened of being a father.
1267
01:00:30,339 --> 01:00:34,176
See, our dad left
when I was about Felix's age.
1268
01:00:34,176 --> 01:00:37,387
Started another family,
left Tess and I with mom.
1269
01:00:37,387 --> 01:00:41,391
Mom fell apart.
Like, really fell apart.
1270
01:00:43,852 --> 01:00:46,146
We spent our holidays in psych wards.
1271
01:00:46,813 --> 01:00:49,775
‐ I'm so sorry.
‐ Yeah.
1272
01:00:50,859 --> 01:00:52,319
Tess looked after me.
1273
01:00:55,364 --> 01:00:58,367
I couldn't see that at the time, though.
I was too angry at everyone.
1274
01:01:00,410 --> 01:01:01,912
I never thanked her.
1275
01:01:02,871 --> 01:01:05,916
‐ I'm sure you won't end up
like your father, David.
1276
01:01:09,378 --> 01:01:13,423
"The man in between
waits between the two,
1277
01:01:13,423 --> 01:01:17,427
"Not hearing the lie,
not seeing the true,
1278
01:01:17,427 --> 01:01:21,390
"Unknowing what is
and denying what seems,
1279
01:01:21,390 --> 01:01:24,268
And there he will sleep,
the man in between."
1280
01:01:25,602 --> 01:01:28,146
‐ Wow. Is that Gandhi?
1281
01:01:28,146 --> 01:01:30,399
‐ [chuckles]
No. Neil Diamond.
1282
01:01:30,399 --> 01:01:32,025
‐ You like Neil Diamond?
1283
01:01:32,025 --> 01:01:33,777
‐ I love Neil Diamond.
1284
01:01:35,362 --> 01:01:36,405
‐ Oh.
1285
01:01:36,405 --> 01:01:40,367
‐ You may think I'm a superhero, but...
1286
01:01:40,367 --> 01:01:44,538
When I was 18,
I was heading down a really bad path.
1287
01:01:45,414 --> 01:01:48,625
I started following this band around.
1288
01:01:48,625 --> 01:01:52,379
I used the money my parents
had put away for my education,
1289
01:01:52,379 --> 01:01:54,006
and I followed them here.
1290
01:01:54,006 --> 01:01:54,882
‐ Whoa.
1291
01:01:54,882 --> 01:01:57,176
‐ I chased them all around Australia,
1292
01:01:57,176 --> 01:02:00,137
and I break into one of
their hotel rooms in Perth.
1293
01:02:00,137 --> 01:02:03,140
Well, I was just so determined
to meet one of them in person.
1294
01:02:04,141 --> 01:02:05,976
I would have let them
do anything to me.
1295
01:02:08,395 --> 01:02:10,230
‐ What... what happened?
1296
01:02:10,230 --> 01:02:16,069
‐ Oh, Taylor walked into the room
and called security right away.
1297
01:02:16,069 --> 01:02:18,030
‐ Hang on. Wait. Swift?
1298
01:02:18,780 --> 01:02:20,407
‐ No! [scoffs]
1299
01:02:20,407 --> 01:02:23,410
Taylor Hanson. Sorry.
I thought I said who they were.
1300
01:02:23,410 --> 01:02:25,454
‐ Taylor Hanson?
1301
01:02:25,454 --> 01:02:28,415
‐ Yeah. Taylor Hanson.
From Hanson.
1302
01:02:28,415 --> 01:02:30,167
‐ Hanson the band?
1303
01:02:30,959 --> 01:02:32,336
‐ Yes.
1304
01:02:32,336 --> 01:02:34,671
‐ "Mmmbop"?
‐ "Mmmbop."
1305
01:02:35,756 --> 01:02:37,674
‐ Mmm. Okay.
1306
01:02:37,674 --> 01:02:42,304
‐ I begged him not to call security,
but he didn't even hesitate.
1307
01:02:42,304 --> 01:02:44,681
I didn't know what to do,
so I jumped out the window.
1308
01:02:44,681 --> 01:02:45,724
‐ Shit.
1309
01:02:45,724 --> 01:02:50,354
‐ But thank God, an awning broke my fall
and all I broke was my collarbone.
1310
01:02:51,480 --> 01:02:54,399
[sighs]
So, there I was.
1311
01:02:54,399 --> 01:02:58,487
In a foreign country, in a sling.
No parents, no money.
1312
01:02:58,487 --> 01:03:01,406
And then a wonderful thing happened.
1313
01:03:02,282 --> 01:03:04,660
I got a job helping out at the school
1314
01:03:04,660 --> 01:03:07,663
to help pay my medical bills
and get back home.
1315
01:03:07,663 --> 01:03:09,373
And working with kids...
1316
01:03:11,458 --> 01:03:13,377
...standing in front of them,
1317
01:03:13,377 --> 01:03:16,338
looking at me with no judgment...
1318
01:03:16,338 --> 01:03:19,424
They trusted me even when I didn't
particularly trust myself.
1319
01:03:20,467 --> 01:03:24,388
I started to believe in myself again,
you know?
1320
01:03:24,388 --> 01:03:25,806
Learned to step up.
1321
01:03:26,515 --> 01:03:29,351
And now I can't imagine
doing anything else.
1322
01:03:31,353 --> 01:03:34,398
‐ Are you and... Ian gonna have kids?
1323
01:03:36,108 --> 01:03:40,153
‐ I'm afraid Ian and I have not
been together for a long time.
1324
01:03:40,696 --> 01:03:43,407
He was cheating on me.
With someone from his work.
1325
01:03:45,325 --> 01:03:47,035
‐ But why do you still wear the ring?
1326
01:03:47,035 --> 01:03:50,289
‐ It stops fathers from hitting
on me in the playground.
1327
01:03:50,873 --> 01:03:52,165
I know it's bad to lie,
1328
01:03:52,165 --> 01:03:54,751
but you'd be surprised
how crude men can be.
1329
01:04:00,966 --> 01:04:02,926
‐ My band broke up six years ago.
1330
01:04:04,386 --> 01:04:06,972
God's Sledgehammer fell apart
when my bandmates quit.
1331
01:04:10,058 --> 01:04:11,768
And I'm not really Christian.
1332
01:04:14,396 --> 01:04:16,106
‐ Anything else you've lied about?
1333
01:04:16,690 --> 01:04:20,360
‐ [chuckles]
No, I think that pretty much covers it.
1334
01:04:20,360 --> 01:04:21,403
‐ Okay. Good.
1335
01:04:21,403 --> 01:04:24,531
Otherwise I'd have to put you
in the naughty corner.
1336
01:04:25,782 --> 01:04:28,994
‐ [chuckles] Uh‐oh.
‐ [laughs]
1337
01:04:30,120 --> 01:04:31,747
Why don't I stay up on watch?
1338
01:04:32,706 --> 01:04:35,000
‐ No, no. You need sleep more than anyone.
1339
01:04:36,126 --> 01:04:37,377
Um... I'll step up.
1340
01:04:38,378 --> 01:04:39,421
‐ Okay.
1341
01:04:45,385 --> 01:04:46,470
‐ 'Night.
1342
01:04:55,312 --> 01:04:57,397
[moaning]
1343
01:05:00,734 --> 01:05:03,403
RADIO:
All‐unit command, all‐unit command.
1344
01:05:04,738 --> 01:05:07,199
All‐unit command, all‐unit command.
1345
01:05:07,199 --> 01:05:09,409
[sheep bleating]
1346
01:05:09,409 --> 01:05:12,162
‐ In order to ensure total
annihilation of the infected,
1347
01:05:12,162 --> 01:05:16,917
we will proceed with Operation Hailstorm
in T‐minus one hour.
1348
01:05:26,051 --> 01:05:27,427
‐ [gasps]
‐ Oh!
1349
01:05:29,888 --> 01:05:32,766
[quietly]:
I've got an idea to get us out of here.
1350
01:05:32,766 --> 01:05:35,394
‐ No. No, no, no!
1351
01:05:35,394 --> 01:05:37,396
No, no, no.
1352
01:05:37,396 --> 01:05:39,356
No.
1353
01:05:39,356 --> 01:05:42,401
I'm not going anywhere.
Want to know why?
1354
01:05:42,401 --> 01:05:46,113
Because I'm the Nickelodeon Kid's Choice
Favorite Global Television Presenter
1355
01:05:46,113 --> 01:05:47,406
five years running, that's why.
1356
01:05:47,406 --> 01:05:48,782
You want to know what that means?
1357
01:05:48,782 --> 01:05:52,369
That means to the layman
I'm a huge fucking deal.
1358
01:05:52,369 --> 01:05:54,371
Someone will notice that I'm missing,
1359
01:05:54,371 --> 01:05:56,665
sound the alarm,
and come and get me.
1360
01:05:56,665 --> 01:05:58,542
‐ We can't stay here indefinitely.
1361
01:05:58,542 --> 01:06:00,419
‐ We're good as dead if we stay here.
There's no food.
1362
01:06:00,419 --> 01:06:02,546
‐ [sighs]
We'll eat one of the kids.
1363
01:06:03,505 --> 01:06:05,299
‐ I hope you're joking.
1364
01:06:06,758 --> 01:06:09,553
‐ Look, Teddy, all we need
for you to do is make a distraction
1365
01:06:09,553 --> 01:06:11,388
while I make a run for the tractor train.
1366
01:06:11,388 --> 01:06:12,639
I drive it to the front door,
1367
01:06:12,639 --> 01:06:14,266
we load everyone up,
and we drive out of here.
1368
01:06:14,266 --> 01:06:16,018
‐ Oh, you're fucked in the head, fatso.
1369
01:06:16,018 --> 01:06:17,394
Why can't you go?
1370
01:06:17,394 --> 01:06:19,354
‐ I'm not leaving the children
alone with you.
1371
01:06:19,354 --> 01:06:20,105
‐ Pfft!
1372
01:06:20,105 --> 01:06:23,942
If your big idea
is to drive in a tractor
1373
01:06:23,942 --> 01:06:27,404
designed to pull fuckmonkeys
around a farm,
1374
01:06:27,404 --> 01:06:29,406
then you're bigger idiots than I thought.
1375
01:06:29,406 --> 01:06:32,159
And I thought you were both
the stupidest people I've ever met.
1376
01:06:32,159 --> 01:06:35,204
‐ What would you suggest?
‐ The McGigglemobile.
1377
01:06:36,413 --> 01:06:37,414
‐ What?
1378
01:06:37,414 --> 01:06:39,124
‐ What, are you fucking deaf?
1379
01:06:39,124 --> 01:06:42,461
I said in a loud whisper,
"The McGigglemobile."
1380
01:06:42,461 --> 01:06:43,921
‐ What's the McGigglemobile?
1381
01:06:43,921 --> 01:06:47,424
‐ It's my bright red car,
you fucking cunt.
1382
01:06:47,424 --> 01:06:50,802
I travel around the world in it
making memories
1383
01:06:50,802 --> 01:06:55,390
and sharing those memories
with children all over the country.
1384
01:06:55,390 --> 01:06:56,725
Many countries.
1385
01:06:57,601 --> 01:06:59,269
‐ Why is that better?
1386
01:06:59,269 --> 01:07:03,774
‐ The McGigglemobile has a flap
in the roof. The Frogsie flap.
1387
01:07:03,774 --> 01:07:04,483
We drive the car around,
1388
01:07:04,483 --> 01:07:07,069
the kiddlywinks jump
into the McGigglemobile
1389
01:07:07,069 --> 01:07:08,195
through the Frogsie flap,
1390
01:07:08,195 --> 01:07:11,573
and we drive the fuck out of here.
1391
01:07:11,573 --> 01:07:12,699
‐ Who's got the keys?
1392
01:07:15,410 --> 01:07:16,578
That actually could work.
1393
01:07:18,205 --> 01:07:19,206
‐ Great idea, Teddy.
1394
01:07:20,165 --> 01:07:21,458
‐ Great enough for a blow job?
1395
01:07:24,378 --> 01:07:27,256
Um... I'm a sex addict.
1396
01:07:36,598 --> 01:07:38,600
‐ [whispers]:
Hey. Listen.
1397
01:07:39,351 --> 01:07:40,394
Be careful when you‐‐
1398
01:07:40,394 --> 01:07:43,105
‐ Aarrghh! Goddammit!
1399
01:07:43,105 --> 01:07:44,398
[groaning loudly]
1400
01:07:44,398 --> 01:07:45,816
‐ Are you okay, Teddy?
1401
01:07:45,816 --> 01:07:48,443
‐ Does it look like I'm okay,
you shithead?!
1402
01:07:49,486 --> 01:07:53,031
ALL:
Miss Caroline! Miss Caroline!
1403
01:07:53,031 --> 01:07:55,617
‐ [sighs]
‐ Miss Caroline, I'm hungry.
1404
01:07:55,617 --> 01:07:57,035
‐ I know.
‐ Miss Caroline?
1405
01:07:57,035 --> 01:07:59,955
I don't want to play this game anymore.
AUDREY: Uh‐huh.
1406
01:07:59,955 --> 01:08:02,457
‐ It makes no sense,
and the zombies look fake.
1407
01:08:02,457 --> 01:08:06,628
‐ Miss Caroline, when are
we gonna play putt‐putt golf?!
1408
01:08:06,628 --> 01:08:09,923
‐ Yo! Douchebag!
Are we gonna do this thing or what?
1409
01:08:09,923 --> 01:08:11,717
‐ What's a douchebag?
1410
01:08:11,717 --> 01:08:15,429
‐ It's a small bag that ladies
use to irrigate their vaginas.
1411
01:08:15,429 --> 01:08:17,055
‐ One, two, three, eyes on me.
1412
01:08:17,055 --> 01:08:18,765
CHILDREN:
One, two, eyes on you!
1413
01:08:18,765 --> 01:08:20,851
[zombies moan outside]
1414
01:08:22,394 --> 01:08:24,396
♪ Where it began... ♪
1415
01:08:24,396 --> 01:08:26,356
TEDDY:
Oh, Jesus.
1416
01:08:26,356 --> 01:08:29,443
♪ I can't begin to knowing ♪
1417
01:08:30,068 --> 01:08:34,239
♪ But then, I know it's growing strong ♪
1418
01:08:37,367 --> 01:08:39,369
♪ Was in the spring ♪
1419
01:08:41,371 --> 01:08:44,374
♪ Then spring became the summer ♪
1420
01:08:44,917 --> 01:08:48,170
♪ Who'd have believed
you'd come along? ♪
1421
01:08:48,170 --> 01:08:50,422
[all giggling]
1422
01:08:51,298 --> 01:08:54,301
♪ Hands ♪
1423
01:08:56,094 --> 01:08:58,096
♪ Touching hands ♪
1424
01:08:59,848 --> 01:09:01,808
♪ Reaching out ♪
1425
01:09:03,393 --> 01:09:07,397
♪ Touching me, touching you ♪
1426
01:09:09,399 --> 01:09:12,361
♪ Miss Caroline ♪
1427
01:09:12,361 --> 01:09:14,071
‐ That's you!
1428
01:09:14,071 --> 01:09:18,325
‐ ♪ Good times
never seemed so good ♪
1429
01:09:20,202 --> 01:09:23,413
♪ I'd be inclined ♪
1430
01:09:24,581 --> 01:09:28,293
♪ To believe
they never would ♪
1431
01:09:28,293 --> 01:09:31,672
DAVE: Come on, kids.
I need your help! Sing it with me.
1432
01:09:31,672 --> 01:09:34,216
ALL:
♪ Miss Caroline ♪
1433
01:09:34,216 --> 01:09:35,926
♪ Ba‐ba‐bom ♪
1434
01:09:35,926 --> 01:09:39,555
♪ Good times
never seemed so good ♪
1435
01:09:42,015 --> 01:09:44,685
♪ I'd be inclined ♪
1436
01:09:46,603 --> 01:09:50,274
♪ To believe they never would ♪
1437
01:09:50,274 --> 01:09:53,360
♪ No, no ♪
1438
01:09:53,360 --> 01:09:57,865
♪ Miss Caroline ♪
1439
01:09:57,865 --> 01:10:00,450
[children cheering]
1440
01:10:05,998 --> 01:10:07,958
‐ I love Neil Diamond too.
1441
01:10:07,958 --> 01:10:10,878
Just... wasn't ready
to admit it until now.
1442
01:10:14,047 --> 01:10:17,301
FELIX: Uncle David?
‐ Hey, buddy.
1443
01:10:17,301 --> 01:10:19,469
I'm just ducking out for a bit,
okay, mate?
1444
01:10:19,469 --> 01:10:20,762
‐ Where are you going?
1445
01:10:21,889 --> 01:10:23,265
‐ I'm gonna get us out of here.
1446
01:10:23,724 --> 01:10:26,351
‐ Is this still all part of the game?
1447
01:10:26,351 --> 01:10:27,936
‐ Yeah! [chuckles]
1448
01:10:27,936 --> 01:10:30,772
Yeah, of course it is.
Miss Caroline's gonna keep you safe.
1449
01:10:31,481 --> 01:10:32,900
You do whatever
she tells you to, okay?
1450
01:10:32,900 --> 01:10:35,694
‐ She's my teacher.
I have to do that.
1451
01:10:36,778 --> 01:10:38,405
‐ You're an amazing boy.
1452
01:10:38,405 --> 01:10:40,407
Don't let anyone ever tell you
you're not strong.
1453
01:10:40,407 --> 01:10:43,327
You're the strongest,
bravest person I've ever met.
1454
01:10:44,119 --> 01:10:45,871
‐ Why are you telling me this?
1455
01:10:46,788 --> 01:10:48,207
‐ 'Cause you're awesome.
1456
01:10:48,957 --> 01:10:50,083
Give me a cuddle.
1457
01:10:55,797 --> 01:10:56,798
Okay.
1458
01:10:58,133 --> 01:11:00,427
Hey, kids, who wants a ride
in the McGigglemobile?
1459
01:11:00,427 --> 01:11:02,679
CHILDREN: Yeah!
‐ Yeah!
1460
01:11:03,639 --> 01:11:07,518
‐ See you soon, kiddlywinks!
1461
01:11:21,031 --> 01:11:23,367
[sobbing]
1462
01:11:26,870 --> 01:11:28,664
‐ I see the McGigglemobile.
1463
01:11:29,331 --> 01:11:32,417
‐ [crying]: I can't do this.
I'm a celebrity.
1464
01:11:35,796 --> 01:11:37,631
‐ Want to make up for all
the bad things you've done?
1465
01:11:37,631 --> 01:11:39,341
All those mums you fucked?
1466
01:11:40,926 --> 01:11:43,303
If Pacino were here,
what would he say?
1467
01:11:43,303 --> 01:11:44,388
‐ He'd encourage me
1468
01:11:44,388 --> 01:11:48,016
to magnify and intensify
my connection to the material
1469
01:11:48,016 --> 01:11:51,895
by understanding my character's
emotional experience.
1470
01:11:51,895 --> 01:11:54,398
‐ Well... do that.
‐ [sobs]
1471
01:11:54,398 --> 01:11:57,359
‐ Do it for Pacino.
I'll distract them.
1472
01:11:57,359 --> 01:11:59,862
I'll see you
at the McGigglemobile.
1473
01:11:59,862 --> 01:12:02,865
‐ [bangs buckets]
‐ Hey!
1474
01:12:07,160 --> 01:12:09,121
Hey! Yeah!
1475
01:12:09,121 --> 01:12:11,123
‐ [zombies moaning]
‐ Yes! Yes!
1476
01:12:11,999 --> 01:12:13,458
Fuck!
1477
01:12:13,458 --> 01:12:14,877
‐ [zombies moan]
‐ Hey! Yes!
1478
01:12:15,711 --> 01:12:18,297
Hey! Over here!
1479
01:12:18,297 --> 01:12:19,965
‐ For Pacino.
1480
01:12:19,965 --> 01:12:21,133
[grunts, cries out]
1481
01:12:22,885 --> 01:12:24,845
‐ [zombies moan]
‐ Yes!
1482
01:12:26,054 --> 01:12:28,056
[breathing shakily]
1483
01:12:32,352 --> 01:12:33,478
‐ Aahhh!
1484
01:12:37,524 --> 01:12:38,525
‐ Arggh!
1485
01:12:40,110 --> 01:12:43,322
♪
1486
01:12:50,537 --> 01:12:52,497
‐ Well, hi‐ho, kiddlywinks.
1487
01:12:52,497 --> 01:12:55,417
♪
1488
01:12:58,837 --> 01:13:00,589
[gasps, shouts]
1489
01:13:06,053 --> 01:13:08,347
‐ Arggh! Arggh!
1490
01:13:09,515 --> 01:13:11,391
‐ I fucked your mom!
1491
01:13:12,935 --> 01:13:14,311
I fucked your mom!
1492
01:13:15,938 --> 01:13:18,524
You. Oh, I fucked your mom.
1493
01:13:18,524 --> 01:13:20,067
[snarls]
1494
01:13:23,195 --> 01:13:25,364
Ow! My ass!
1495
01:13:31,578 --> 01:13:34,373
Hyah! How do YOU like it, huh?!
1496
01:13:34,373 --> 01:13:36,083
Oh, God! What have I done?
1497
01:13:38,043 --> 01:13:39,044
Eugh!
1498
01:13:39,044 --> 01:13:40,504
DAVE:
Oh, shit!
1499
01:13:44,842 --> 01:13:46,009
[car alarm honks]
1500
01:13:51,640 --> 01:13:53,350
DAVE: Yes!
1501
01:13:53,350 --> 01:13:54,434
‐ [car alarm honks]
‐ Yes!
1502
01:13:54,434 --> 01:13:56,103
[Dave panting]
1503
01:13:56,103 --> 01:13:58,063
Fuck. Fuck.
1504
01:13:59,356 --> 01:14:00,399
It's locked.
1505
01:14:02,317 --> 01:14:03,485
Open the door!
1506
01:14:07,406 --> 01:14:09,324
Open the fucking door.
1507
01:14:11,159 --> 01:14:13,203
Open the fucking door!
1508
01:14:16,415 --> 01:14:18,208
Fuck.
‐ [starts engine]
1509
01:14:18,208 --> 01:14:19,418
Open the fucking door, Nathan!
1510
01:14:19,418 --> 01:14:22,379
‐ [Frogsie moaning]
‐ Fuck.
1511
01:14:22,379 --> 01:14:25,299
[screaming]
1512
01:14:27,718 --> 01:14:29,052
Help me!
1513
01:14:29,887 --> 01:14:32,139
I hope you die!
1514
01:14:32,139 --> 01:14:35,142
[screaming]
1515
01:14:37,561 --> 01:14:39,438
‐ What's happening, Miss Caroline?
1516
01:14:39,438 --> 01:14:42,983
‐ Your Uncle David...
1517
01:14:42,983 --> 01:14:44,985
is at the McGigglemobile!
1518
01:14:44,985 --> 01:14:47,362
[panting, gasping]
1519
01:14:49,406 --> 01:14:52,326
[zombies moan and growl]
1520
01:15:01,376 --> 01:15:03,420
[Frogsie moaning]
1521
01:15:03,420 --> 01:15:05,172
[phone rings]
1522
01:15:09,676 --> 01:15:10,677
‐ Tess!
1523
01:15:10,677 --> 01:15:13,305
‐ Dave! Oh, God. Where are you?
1524
01:15:13,305 --> 01:15:15,849
‐ Uh, I'm at the farm.
Miss Caroline and the kids are here.
1525
01:15:15,849 --> 01:15:17,392
‐ Felix?
‐ Yeah, he's with her.
1526
01:15:17,392 --> 01:15:19,645
Listen, you need to send
someone in to get us.
1527
01:15:19,645 --> 01:15:21,355
‐ Okay. Uh, the military have
blocked off the road,
1528
01:15:21,355 --> 01:15:23,398
but they won't let us through.
We're not far from you.
1529
01:15:23,398 --> 01:15:25,526
Why aren't you with Felix?
Are you okay?
1530
01:15:26,610 --> 01:15:29,363
‐ Look, Tess,
I need to tell you something.
1531
01:15:29,363 --> 01:15:31,365
It's really important,
1532
01:15:31,365 --> 01:15:33,367
and I should have done it
a long time ago.
1533
01:15:34,409 --> 01:15:36,453
But thank you.
1534
01:15:36,453 --> 01:15:38,247
‐ What?
‐ You stepped up.
1535
01:15:38,247 --> 01:15:41,124
You always took care of me when
things went to shit with mom.
1536
01:15:41,124 --> 01:15:42,960
I don't know what I would have
done without you.
1537
01:15:44,086 --> 01:15:47,214
Thank you, sis.
I tried to repay you, but...
1538
01:15:47,214 --> 01:15:49,466
I'm pretty sure I've just fucked it.
1539
01:15:49,466 --> 01:15:51,385
Ah! No! Fuck!
1540
01:15:51,385 --> 01:15:53,428
Stupid fucking frog!
1541
01:15:54,388 --> 01:15:57,391
‐ Boo‐Boo?
‐ [zombies snarling on phone]
1542
01:15:59,601 --> 01:16:02,145
‐ [shouting]: Miss Caroline,
when will we play putt‐putt golf?!
1543
01:16:02,145 --> 01:16:03,021
‐ Not now, Max.
1544
01:16:03,021 --> 01:16:06,984
‐ No! I want to play putt‐putt
golf now! [shrieks]
1545
01:16:06,984 --> 01:16:09,069
‐ [Max screaming]
‐ Max.
1546
01:16:09,069 --> 01:16:11,697
Max!
‐ [continues screaming]
1547
01:16:11,697 --> 01:16:13,949
‐ I'm not‐‐ I'm not gonna
talk to you on that level.
1548
01:16:13,949 --> 01:16:16,368
‐ [Max screaming]
‐ Stop it. Hey.
1549
01:16:16,368 --> 01:16:18,787
[zombies growling]
1550
01:16:18,787 --> 01:16:19,997
‐ Max, listen to me.
1551
01:16:19,997 --> 01:16:21,373
‐ Miss Caroline!
‐ Beth, I'm speaking.
1552
01:16:21,373 --> 01:16:22,541
[screaming]
1553
01:16:22,541 --> 01:16:24,668
‐ Miss Caroline!
‐ What is it, Beth?!
1554
01:16:24,668 --> 01:16:26,003
‐ Felix is gone!
1555
01:16:27,838 --> 01:16:28,839
[gasps]
1556
01:16:28,839 --> 01:16:31,800
♪
1557
01:16:36,221 --> 01:16:38,015
[breathing like Darth Vader]
1558
01:16:39,975 --> 01:16:41,977
‐ Pew, pew! Pew! Pew, pew, pew!
1559
01:16:41,977 --> 01:16:43,937
Pew! Pew, pew!
1560
01:16:55,991 --> 01:16:57,951
[zombie moans]
1561
01:17:00,412 --> 01:17:02,998
[imitates lightsaber]
1562
01:17:07,503 --> 01:17:09,463
[lamb bleating]
1563
01:17:10,047 --> 01:17:12,007
[bleating]
1564
01:17:17,930 --> 01:17:19,932
[bleating]
1565
01:17:33,362 --> 01:17:34,821
[metal clanking]
1566
01:17:40,827 --> 01:17:43,288
[breathing like Darth Vader]
1567
01:17:55,801 --> 01:17:57,636
[zombies snarling]
1568
01:18:00,305 --> 01:18:03,225
[zombies moaning loudly]
1569
01:18:07,604 --> 01:18:10,065
[zombies moaning]
1570
01:18:13,986 --> 01:18:15,946
[engine approaching]
1571
01:18:19,783 --> 01:18:22,494
FELIX: Hi, Uncle David!
DAVE: Felix!
1572
01:18:24,913 --> 01:18:26,331
FELIX:
I'm on the tractor!
1573
01:18:28,709 --> 01:18:29,751
Oopsy!
1574
01:18:30,294 --> 01:18:33,046
‐ Felix! Felix!
1575
01:18:33,046 --> 01:18:36,216
[zombies snarling]
1576
01:18:41,555 --> 01:18:42,973
‐ Here, Uncle David!
1577
01:18:44,892 --> 01:18:47,394
Uncle David! Over here!
1578
01:18:47,394 --> 01:18:48,478
DAVE: Ha ha!
1579
01:18:48,478 --> 01:18:50,772
I told you you were the bravest
person I'd ever met.
1580
01:18:50,772 --> 01:18:52,983
Yeah?
FELIX: The clutch is on the left.
1581
01:18:52,983 --> 01:18:55,402
‐ The clutch is on the left.
Stay in character.
1582
01:18:55,402 --> 01:18:56,695
FELIX [gruffly]:
The clutch is on the left.
1583
01:19:00,866 --> 01:19:04,661
‐ It doesn't matter if we don't
win the game, Miss Caroline.
1584
01:19:05,996 --> 01:19:07,831
[engine rumbling]
1585
01:19:19,218 --> 01:19:20,260
DAVE: Felix did it!
1586
01:19:20,260 --> 01:19:22,304
‐ I used my putter as a shooty gun.
1587
01:19:22,304 --> 01:19:24,181
Pew, pew! Pew!
‐ Whoa!
1588
01:19:24,181 --> 01:19:27,392
‐ There's heaps of them out there, though.
We've got to go!
1589
01:19:28,435 --> 01:19:30,354
‐ One, two, three! Eyes on me!
1590
01:19:30,354 --> 01:19:33,357
CHILDREN:
One, two! Eyes on you!
1591
01:19:33,357 --> 01:19:35,150
‐ Who wants to play putt‐putt golf?!
1592
01:19:36,693 --> 01:19:40,989
DAVE: Arggh!
‐ [children shrieking]
1593
01:19:43,742 --> 01:19:45,994
AUDREY:
Careful, duckies! Watch out!
1594
01:19:48,163 --> 01:19:51,667
CHILDREN [chanting]:
Go, Max! Go, Max! Go, Max!
1595
01:19:51,667 --> 01:19:54,545
Go, Max! Go, Max! Go, Max!
1596
01:19:56,338 --> 01:19:59,258
Go, Max! Go, Max! Go, Max!
1597
01:20:04,888 --> 01:20:06,890
‐ Ha ha! You suck, you guys!
1598
01:20:06,890 --> 01:20:09,685
ALL: Yay!
1599
01:20:10,686 --> 01:20:11,937
‐ Okay. Sit down, now.
1600
01:20:13,522 --> 01:20:14,565
Good boy.
1601
01:20:14,565 --> 01:20:16,066
DAVE:
I spoke to Tess!
1602
01:20:16,066 --> 01:20:17,943
She said the military is on the road!
1603
01:20:18,569 --> 01:20:20,320
We just have to make it there!
‐ Thank you.
1604
01:20:20,320 --> 01:20:22,698
[zombie moaning]
1605
01:20:25,158 --> 01:20:27,661
[strumming ukulele]
1606
01:20:29,079 --> 01:20:32,374
‐ Okay. Remember this one?
Sing with me, now.
1607
01:20:33,542 --> 01:20:37,212
♪ The wheels on the bus
go round and round ♪
1608
01:20:37,212 --> 01:20:40,966
♪ Round and round,
round and round ♪
1609
01:20:40,966 --> 01:20:44,011
♪ The wheels on the bus
go round and round ♪
1610
01:20:44,011 --> 01:20:47,890
♪ All through the town ♪
1611
01:20:49,474 --> 01:20:51,768
[indistinct children chatter]
1612
01:20:58,775 --> 01:21:02,029
♪ Old Macdonald had a farm ♪
1613
01:21:02,029 --> 01:21:08,035
♪ E‐I‐E‐I‐O ♪
1614
01:21:08,035 --> 01:21:09,620
[children cheering]
1615
01:21:09,620 --> 01:21:11,538
[zombies cheering]
1616
01:21:11,538 --> 01:21:12,789
‐ Miss Caroline!
1617
01:21:13,582 --> 01:21:15,667
[zombies moaning loudly]
1618
01:21:17,461 --> 01:21:21,298
♪ If you're happy and you know it,
clap your hands ♪
1619
01:21:24,510 --> 01:21:25,677
[laughs]
1620
01:21:25,677 --> 01:21:29,806
♪ If you're happy and you know it,
clap your hands ♪
1621
01:21:31,850 --> 01:21:33,727
[children giggling]
1622
01:21:33,727 --> 01:21:36,021
♪ If you're happy and you know it,
say hooray ♪
1623
01:21:36,021 --> 01:21:37,689
ALL: Hooray!
1624
01:21:37,689 --> 01:21:39,650
[zombies moan]
1625
01:21:39,650 --> 01:21:42,319
♪ If you're happy and you know it,
say hooray ♪
1626
01:21:42,319 --> 01:21:43,570
ALL: Hooray!
1627
01:21:43,570 --> 01:21:45,030
[zombies moan]
1628
01:21:45,030 --> 01:21:47,032
♪ If you're happy and you know it ♪
1629
01:21:47,032 --> 01:21:49,076
♪ And you really want to show it ♪
1630
01:21:49,076 --> 01:21:51,954
♪ If you're happy and you know it,
say hooray ♪
1631
01:21:51,954 --> 01:21:53,872
CHILDREN: Hooray!
1632
01:21:53,872 --> 01:21:55,791
[zombies moaning]
1633
01:21:58,335 --> 01:21:59,962
SOLDIER: Let's go!
1634
01:21:59,962 --> 01:22:01,338
Move, move, move,
move, move, move!
1635
01:22:01,338 --> 01:22:03,340
[helicopter flies overhead]
1636
01:22:07,427 --> 01:22:09,972
RADIO: Waiting for confirmation
to engage Hailstorm.
1637
01:22:10,931 --> 01:22:12,850
Target is T‐minus...
1638
01:22:13,559 --> 01:22:15,102
‐ Sir, what is it?
1639
01:22:15,936 --> 01:22:18,230
‐ Looks like we've got some survivors.
1640
01:22:18,230 --> 01:22:20,023
‐ They could be infected.
1641
01:22:21,066 --> 01:22:22,526
‐ Hey!
1642
01:22:22,526 --> 01:22:26,071
‐ ♪ Three little ducks
went out one day ♪
1643
01:22:26,071 --> 01:22:29,992
♪ Over the hills and far away
1644
01:22:29,992 --> 01:22:32,911
♪ Mother Duck said
quack, quack, quack... ♪
1645
01:22:32,911 --> 01:22:34,955
‐ How many are there?
1646
01:22:34,955 --> 01:22:36,290
‐ There's at least two.
1647
01:22:36,874 --> 01:22:42,421
One man driving a tractor,
a woman... playing a small guitar.
1648
01:22:42,421 --> 01:22:44,381
‐ Sir, that's a ukulele, sir!
1649
01:22:45,132 --> 01:22:47,301
‐ Well, whatever it is,
they're gonna be obliterated.
1650
01:22:47,301 --> 01:22:50,971
‐ ♪ Two little ducks
went out one day
1651
01:22:50,971 --> 01:22:54,183
♪ Over the hills
and far away... ♪
1652
01:22:54,183 --> 01:22:56,185
‐ Okay, let's bring 'em closer.
1653
01:22:57,978 --> 01:22:59,479
Everyone hold position!
1654
01:22:59,479 --> 01:23:00,856
‐ Let us through!
1655
01:23:00,856 --> 01:23:02,149
Wait for my command!
1656
01:23:02,149 --> 01:23:04,568
‐ ♪ ...little duck
went out one day ♪
1657
01:23:04,568 --> 01:23:05,861
♪ Over the hills and... ♪
1658
01:23:05,861 --> 01:23:07,029
‐ Is that singing?
1659
01:23:08,530 --> 01:23:11,491
‐ Who would be singing?
‐ Maybe it's the zombies, sir.
1660
01:23:12,075 --> 01:23:13,619
‐ Zombies don't sing.
1661
01:23:14,244 --> 01:23:16,121
[zombies quack incoherently]
1662
01:23:16,121 --> 01:23:18,081
‐ ♪ Five little ducks came back... ♪
1663
01:23:18,081 --> 01:23:20,083
‐ We got tiny children!
1664
01:23:20,083 --> 01:23:22,628
‐ Did he just say kids?
‐ Yes, sir.
1665
01:23:23,670 --> 01:23:24,713
‐ Kids.
1666
01:23:25,464 --> 01:23:26,757
Goddammit!
1667
01:23:26,757 --> 01:23:28,675
‐ [singing continues]
‐ Sir.
1668
01:23:30,636 --> 01:23:33,889
‐ I can't shoot kids.
Again.
1669
01:23:33,889 --> 01:23:34,973
‐ Sir!
1670
01:23:35,974 --> 01:23:37,809
That's against protocol, sir!
1671
01:23:37,809 --> 01:23:39,853
‐ All right, let 'em through!
Let 'em through!
1672
01:23:39,853 --> 01:23:42,147
♪
1673
01:23:42,147 --> 01:23:45,526
‐ ♪ Five little ducks came back ♪
‐ Hey, this‐‐ it's music!
1674
01:23:45,526 --> 01:23:47,528
They're harmless
when you play music!
1675
01:23:47,528 --> 01:23:49,821
[children cheering]
1676
01:23:50,614 --> 01:23:53,951
You've just got to sing them a song.
Sing them a song!
1677
01:23:55,536 --> 01:23:56,870
Open fire!
1678
01:23:57,538 --> 01:23:59,039
[zombies groaning]
1679
01:23:59,039 --> 01:24:00,541
[children screaming]
1680
01:24:00,541 --> 01:24:02,251
‐ It's okay!
1681
01:24:14,721 --> 01:24:16,807
Okay, you‐‐ you all need...
1682
01:24:16,807 --> 01:24:18,100
Okay. No, no, no.
Quick, quick. Come on.
1683
01:24:18,100 --> 01:24:19,685
Okay. Only one at a time.
1684
01:24:27,901 --> 01:24:29,319
RADIO:
Engage Hailstorm.
1685
01:24:31,363 --> 01:24:33,282
[jets roar]
1686
01:24:39,454 --> 01:24:41,456
[children chatter]
1687
01:24:44,168 --> 01:24:46,628
[Dave and Audrey panting]
1688
01:24:47,963 --> 01:24:49,923
‐ Whew!
‐ [both laughing]
1689
01:24:54,344 --> 01:24:55,637
‐ I'm sorry. I...
1690
01:24:57,639 --> 01:24:59,641
[explosion]
1691
01:25:05,814 --> 01:25:08,609
ALL: Whoa!
1692
01:25:11,028 --> 01:25:12,654
‐ Fireworks, everyone.
1693
01:25:14,323 --> 01:25:16,742
[children screaming]
1694
01:25:16,742 --> 01:25:19,328
‐ Hey! Hey! Put them down!
DAVE: What are you doing?!
1695
01:25:19,328 --> 01:25:21,288
AUDREY: Put them down!
‐ Hey, man!
1696
01:25:21,288 --> 01:25:22,789
Felix, it's fine!
1697
01:25:22,789 --> 01:25:24,666
[Max screaming]
1698
01:25:24,666 --> 01:25:26,418
SOLDIER:
[groans] Jesus Christ!
1699
01:25:39,556 --> 01:25:41,600
[helicopter flies overhead]
1700
01:25:44,186 --> 01:25:46,605
‐ Is this the good news room
or the bad news room?
1701
01:25:46,605 --> 01:25:47,856
‐ Good news room, sir.
1702
01:25:49,566 --> 01:25:51,610
[all clamoring]
1703
01:25:52,986 --> 01:25:54,488
‐ All right!
1704
01:25:54,488 --> 01:25:57,366
Everyone needs to stop yelling!
1705
01:25:57,366 --> 01:25:58,659
‐ Where are our children?!
1706
01:25:58,659 --> 01:26:01,328
‐ Every class member is
safe and accounted for.
1707
01:26:01,328 --> 01:26:03,121
‐ Can someone please tell us
what's happened to them?
1708
01:26:03,121 --> 01:26:06,875
‐ Your children got caught up
in a, uh... a situation.
1709
01:26:06,875 --> 01:26:09,753
‐ Well, what the hell does that mean?
‐ I can't go into specifics.
1710
01:26:09,753 --> 01:26:12,756
But what I can say is
it could have been a lot worse
1711
01:26:12,756 --> 01:26:14,466
if it weren't for the actions
of their teachers.
1712
01:26:14,466 --> 01:26:17,052
‐ But they only have one teacher.
‐ Miss Caroline.
1713
01:26:17,052 --> 01:26:19,638
‐ Yeah, Audrey Caroline and David, uh...
1714
01:26:19,638 --> 01:26:20,931
‐ Anderson.
‐ Anderson.
1715
01:26:20,931 --> 01:26:22,933
‐ That's my brother.
That's Felix's uncle.
1716
01:26:23,767 --> 01:26:27,938
‐ Well, Miss Caroline and Mr. Anderson
managed to protect your children
1717
01:26:27,938 --> 01:26:32,651
in a potentially lethal situation
for which there is no precedent.
1718
01:26:32,651 --> 01:26:36,071
I'm... still not quite sure
how they did it.
1719
01:26:36,780 --> 01:26:38,198
They're currently in quarantine,
1720
01:26:38,198 --> 01:26:41,660
and we will need to monitor them
for the next 48 hours.
1721
01:26:41,660 --> 01:26:44,496
‐ They okay?
They must be terrified.
1722
01:26:44,496 --> 01:26:47,457
‐ Oh, I wouldn't worry about that.
1723
01:26:47,457 --> 01:26:49,626
[ukulele playing]
1724
01:26:51,336 --> 01:26:53,630
♪ I stay up too late ♪
1725
01:26:54,673 --> 01:26:56,592
♪ Got nothing in my brain ♪
1726
01:26:57,634 --> 01:27:00,637
♪ That's what people say, mm‐mm ♪
1727
01:27:00,637 --> 01:27:03,640
♪ That's what people say,
mm‐mm ♪
1728
01:27:03,640 --> 01:27:06,602
BOTH:
♪ I go on too many dates ♪
1729
01:27:06,602 --> 01:27:08,604
♪ But I can't make 'em stay ♪
1730
01:27:09,646 --> 01:27:13,066
♪ At least, that's what people say,
mm‐mm ♪
1731
01:27:13,066 --> 01:27:15,777
♪ That's what people say, mm‐mm ♪
1732
01:27:15,777 --> 01:27:18,238
♪ But I keep cruising ♪
1733
01:27:18,238 --> 01:27:21,283
♪ Can't stop, won't stop moving ♪
1734
01:27:21,283 --> 01:27:25,787
♪ It's like I've got this music
in my mind ♪
1735
01:27:25,787 --> 01:27:28,790
♪ Saying it's gonna be all right ♪
1736
01:27:28,790 --> 01:27:31,877
♪ 'Cause the players gonna
play, play, play, play, play ♪
1737
01:27:31,877 --> 01:27:34,963
♪ And the haters gonna hate,
hate, hate, hate, hate ♪
1738
01:27:34,963 --> 01:27:38,133
♪ Baby, I just wanna shake,
shake, shake, shake, shake ♪
1739
01:27:38,133 --> 01:27:40,385
♪ Shake it off, shake it off ♪
1740
01:27:40,385 --> 01:27:44,139
♪ Heartbreakers gonna break,
break, break, break, break ♪
1741
01:27:44,139 --> 01:27:47,100
♪ And the fakers gonna fake,
fake, fake, fake, fake ♪
1742
01:27:47,100 --> 01:27:50,354
♪ Baby, I just wanna shake,
shake, shake, shake, shake ♪
1743
01:27:50,354 --> 01:27:53,315
♪ I shake it off,
I shake it off ♪
1744
01:27:53,315 --> 01:27:56,527
♪ I shake it off,
I shake it off, ah‐ah ♪
1745
01:27:56,527 --> 01:27:59,947
♪ I shake it off, I shake it off,
ah‐ah ♪
1746
01:27:59,947 --> 01:28:02,950
♪ I shake it off,
I shake it off, ah‐ah ♪
1747
01:28:02,950 --> 01:28:05,077
♪ I shake it off,
I shake it off ♪
1748
01:28:05,077 --> 01:28:06,245
AUDREY:
And again now!
1749
01:28:06,245 --> 01:28:09,039
♪ Shake it off,
shake it off, ah‐ah ♪
1750
01:28:09,039 --> 01:28:12,167
♪ Shake it off, shake it off,
ah‐ah ♪
1751
01:28:12,167 --> 01:28:15,003
♪ I shake it off,
I shake it off, ah‐ah ♪
1752
01:28:15,003 --> 01:28:17,631
♪ I shake it off
I shake it off! ♪
1753
01:28:17,631 --> 01:28:20,592
[children cheering]
1754
01:28:22,302 --> 01:28:25,389
BOY: Hi, mommy!
GIRL: Hi, Daddy!
1755
01:28:27,599 --> 01:28:29,643
♪ pop music playing ♪
1756
01:28:31,895 --> 01:28:32,938
♪ Oh ♪
1757
01:28:35,899 --> 01:28:36,984
♪ Oh, yeah ♪
1758
01:28:39,903 --> 01:28:41,947
♪ Oh, oh ♪
1759
01:28:42,990 --> 01:28:45,951
♪ Oh, yeah ♪
1760
01:28:45,951 --> 01:28:48,912
♪ You have so many
relationships in this life ♪
1761
01:28:48,912 --> 01:28:50,956
♪ Only one or two may last ♪
1762
01:28:50,956 --> 01:28:52,958
♪ You go through
all the pain and strife ♪
1763
01:28:52,958 --> 01:28:55,961
♪ Then you turn your back
and they're gone so fast ♪
1764
01:28:56,461 --> 01:28:57,337
♪ Ooh, yeah ♪
1765
01:28:58,755 --> 01:29:02,759
♪ And they're gone so fast, yeah ♪
1766
01:29:03,927 --> 01:29:06,930
♪ Oh, so hold on to the ones
who really care ♪
1767
01:29:06,930 --> 01:29:08,932
♪ In the end,
they'll be the only ones there ♪
1768
01:29:08,932 --> 01:29:11,894
♪ And when you get old
and start losing your hair ♪
1769
01:29:11,894 --> 01:29:16,523
♪ Can you tell me
who will still care? ♪
1770
01:29:16,523 --> 01:29:19,902
♪ Can you tell me who
will still care? ♪
1771
01:29:19,902 --> 01:29:21,987
♪ Oh, care ♪
1772
01:29:21,987 --> 01:29:23,947
♪ Mmmbop, ba duba dop ♪
1773
01:29:23,947 --> 01:29:26,909
♪ Ba du bop, ba duba dop ♪
1774
01:29:26,909 --> 01:29:28,911
♪ Ba du bop,
ba duba dop ♪
1775
01:29:28,911 --> 01:29:31,914
♪ Ba du, yeah, yeah ♪
1776
01:29:31,914 --> 01:29:32,998
♪ Mmmbop, ba duba dop ♪
1777
01:29:32,998 --> 01:29:35,918
♪ Ba du bop, ba duba dop ♪
1778
01:29:35,918 --> 01:29:37,961
♪ Ba du bop, ba duba dop ♪
1779
01:29:37,961 --> 01:29:41,465
♪ Ba du, yeah, yeah ♪
1780
01:29:41,465 --> 01:29:43,675
♪ Said, oh, yeah ♪
1781
01:29:43,675 --> 01:29:46,470
♪ In an mmmbop they're gone ♪
1782
01:29:46,470 --> 01:29:48,555
♪ Yeah ♪
1783
01:29:48,555 --> 01:29:50,015
♪ Yeah, yeah ♪
1784
01:29:50,015 --> 01:29:51,266
♪ Mmmbop ♪
1785
01:29:52,184 --> 01:29:53,227
♪ Du bop ♪
1786
01:29:54,561 --> 01:29:55,896
♪ Du bop ♪
1787
01:29:56,772 --> 01:29:59,024
♪ Du, yeah, yeah ♪
1788
01:29:59,024 --> 01:30:01,318
♪ Mmmbop
Oh, yeah ♪
1789
01:30:01,318 --> 01:30:02,361
♪ Du bop ♪
1790
01:30:03,612 --> 01:30:05,072
♪ Du bop ♪
1791
01:30:06,031 --> 01:30:08,784
♪ Du, yeah, yeah ♪
1792
01:30:08,784 --> 01:30:10,035
♪ Can you tell me? ♪
1793
01:30:10,035 --> 01:30:13,080
♪ Oh, no, you can't,
'cause you don't know ♪
1794
01:30:13,080 --> 01:30:15,082
♪ Can you tell me? ♪
1795
01:30:15,082 --> 01:30:20,087
♪ You say you can,
but you don't know ♪
1796
01:30:20,087 --> 01:30:25,050
♪ You say you can,
but you don't know ♪
1797
01:30:26,051 --> 01:30:28,512
♪
1798
01:32:14,910 --> 01:32:16,995
TEDDY:
♪ Come with us ♪
1799
01:32:16,995 --> 01:32:19,039
♪ As we giggle around ♪
1800
01:32:19,039 --> 01:32:22,709
♪ In the McGigglemobile ♪
1801
01:32:25,796 --> 01:32:28,549
♪ Traveling the whole world ♪
1802
01:32:28,549 --> 01:32:33,011
♪ Sharing special memories
with the kiddlywinks ♪
1803
01:32:34,596 --> 01:32:36,390
♪ Kiddlywinks ♪
1804
01:32:36,390 --> 01:32:37,975
FROGSIE:
Take it away, Teddy.
1805
01:32:37,975 --> 01:32:40,435
TEDDY:
♪ There's no use ignoring ♪
1806
01:32:40,435 --> 01:32:43,021
♪ All our giggling
and guffawing ♪
1807
01:32:43,021 --> 01:32:46,984
♪ As we shower
the whole world with fun ♪
1808
01:32:48,026 --> 01:32:52,614
♪ Time and time again,
we will McGiggle with new friends ♪
1809
01:32:52,614 --> 01:32:57,035
♪ Because our giggles
are for everyone ♪
1810
01:32:59,037 --> 01:33:00,998
♪ Come giggle ♪
1811
01:33:00,998 --> 01:33:03,000
♪ I'll giggle with you ♪
1812
01:33:03,000 --> 01:33:04,042
FROGSIE:
Teddy, that's beautiful!
1813
01:33:04,042 --> 01:33:06,044
♪ Let's giggle ♪
1814
01:33:06,044 --> 01:33:09,047
♪ We'll giggle all together ♪
1815
01:33:09,047 --> 01:33:14,011
♪ I feel giggly
when we sing this song ♪
1816
01:33:14,011 --> 01:33:19,016
♪ Life's so fun
when you giggle along ♪
1817
01:33:19,766 --> 01:33:22,394
♪ Life's so fun ♪
1818
01:33:22,394 --> 01:33:28,400
♪ When you giggle along ♪
1819
01:33:30,485 --> 01:33:32,446
FROGSIE:
I love you, Teddy.
1820
01:33:33,322 --> 01:33:35,324
TEDDY:
Eat shit, Frogsie.