WEBVTT FILE

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Downloaded from
YTS.MX

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Official YIFY movies site:
YTS.MX

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<i>♪ Every night
I still think of the time</i>

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<i>♪ You made me feel alive</i>

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<i>♪ Going out
I've got you on my mind</i>

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<i>♪ 'Cause you make me
feel alive</i>

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<i>♪ She got
that glow I got that dough</i>

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<i>♪ Pretty little hoes
into rock and roll</i>

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<i>♪ Put it on me fast
We got to go</i>

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<i>♪ Movin' too fast
She just don't know</i>

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<i>♪ Might get faded
Drunk half-naked</i>

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<i>♪ No, we ain't dating
I'm trying to get famous</i>

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<i>♪ Let me get
right back to the basics</i>

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<i>♪ I'mma show 'em back home
now we made it</i>

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<i>♪ Here for one night long In
my feels with the right song</i>

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<i>♪ You got the heels
with the tights on</i>

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<i>♪ You put me off
Turn me right on</i>

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<i>♪ You put me off
Turn me right on</i>

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<i>♪ Girl, I'm
a bad boy, sad boy</i>

20
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<i>♪ Tried to warn ya</i>

21
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<i>♪ Real long hair, don't care</i>

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<i>♪ California, hands up
when you're drinking with me</i>

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<i>♪ Hands up, let's go
if you leavin' with me ♪</i>

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Ugh! God,
just shit already, Belbo.

25
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Jesus Christ.

26
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Fuck!

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- Hi, Mom.
- Oh, honey bun.

28
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We haven't heard from you
in days.

29
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Daddy and I were starting
to get worried.

30
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What do you mean?
I literally texted you last night.

31
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<i>Well, not this morning.</i>

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<i>Fox News</i> is saying that
there's all these gangbangers

33
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out in California
like that Cript gang.

34
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Um,
it's the "Crip" gang, Mom,

35
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and I live in
the Hollywood Hills,

36
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so we don't see
many of them around here.

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Have you found
a job yet, sweetie?

38
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Because we didn't
pay for you to move to LA

39
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just so you could sit around and
drink Bloody Marys all day long.

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Uh, Mom.

41
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Mom, hang...
Hang on one second.

42
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Why? What's happening?

43
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- What is... Is it a drive-by?
- <i>Mom. Mom!</i>

44
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Just hold on.
Hold on for one... Fuck.

45
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Fuck me!

46
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- <i>Hello?</i>
- God damn it.

47
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<i>Who the hell are you
talking to on the other line?</i>

48
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What do you want, Damon?

49
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I tried calling you last night,
seven times.

50
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You didn't answer, of course,
so I'm just assuming

51
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you were out partying
somewhere.

52
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I went to bed early.

53
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I'm still not used
to the time difference.

54
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Time difference?

55
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You've lived here
for two weeks, Hannah.

56
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God, Jersey girls
are all the same.

57
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Just how many girls have
you dated from Jersey, anyway?

58
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And what county
are we talking about?

59
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Morris, Bergen, Essex?

60
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If you say Monmouth County,
I swear to God I'll kill myself.

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<i>You can't trust people
from Jersey...</i>

62
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Hey, Hannah. What's up?

63
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Oh, hey, Teddy. What's up?

64
00:02:45.165 --> 00:02:46.734
Beautiful day, isn't it?

65
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Bet you don't get this weather
back east, right?

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Well, I'll see you around.

67
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<i>Hello!</i>

68
00:03:01.683 --> 00:03:05.452
Hello! Fucking
answer me, woman!

69
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- <i>Who the hell are you talking to now?</i>
- What? Oh, it...

70
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No, it was just
the recycling guy.

71
00:03:10.058 --> 00:03:12.627
Do you think I'm some sort
of idiot, Hannah?

72
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They pick up trash on Thursdays.
It's Tuesday.

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<i>This is exactly
what I'm talking about.</i>

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- I'll have to call you back.
- <i>This is why I don't trust you.</i>

75
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Maybe we can
switch positions?

76
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Um, sure.

77
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I feel so...

78
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I feel so close to you.

79
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Mmm-hmm. Just breathe.

80
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Remember,
what lies behind us

81
00:04:03.211 --> 00:04:04.645
and what lies in front of us

82
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are tiny matters compared
to what lies within us.

83
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- Oh, that's beautiful.
- Yes.

84
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If we're always chasing after
the next moment,

85
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how can we ever enjoy
the one that we're in?

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Just think about that
and breathe deeply.

87
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Mmm.

88
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You know what?
This is very relaxing.

89
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Mmm-hmm, yeah.

90
00:04:35.610 --> 00:04:37.912
- Um... that's...
- Oh!

91
00:04:37.945 --> 00:04:40.848
Um... It's okay. Let's just
maybe switch positions

92
00:04:40.882 --> 00:04:42.550
to the horizontal lotus.

93
00:04:42.583 --> 00:04:44.051
Sorry, that's not supposed
to happen.

94
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No, no, please.
Let's just shift our aura

95
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to a more platonic one.

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I just think you're
really good at what you do.

97
00:04:50.525 --> 00:04:52.994
And I... I feel like
you get me.

98
00:04:53.027 --> 00:04:55.096
This happens to
a lot of my clients, honestly.

99
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We call it
a breakthrough moment.

100
00:04:57.165 --> 00:04:58.398
It is?

101
00:04:59.667 --> 00:05:02.136
That's what you learned
in medical school?

102
00:05:02.170 --> 00:05:03.771
Um, well, no,

103
00:05:03.805 --> 00:05:05.973
but I did study Deepak Chopra.

104
00:05:06.007 --> 00:05:08.075
His online courses
are the tits.

105
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Deepak Chopra...

106
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Okay, just breathe
and repeat after me...

107
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I am in control
of my emotions...

108
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I am in control
of my emotions.

109
00:05:21.556 --> 00:05:23.390
And today I choose happiness.

110
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Today I choose happiness!

111
00:05:27.295 --> 00:05:33.100
Okay, um...
Just close your eyes and breathe.

112
00:05:36.403 --> 00:05:40.074
We must be willing to let go of
the life that we have planned

113
00:05:40.107 --> 00:05:43.211
so as to have the life
that is waiting for us.

114
00:05:43.244 --> 00:05:46.581
When we let go,
we create space for something better.

115
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That's so right.

116
00:05:53.054 --> 00:05:56.157
But I just can't believe
she left me.

117
00:05:56.190 --> 00:05:58.726
I'll never have
an intimate connection again.

118
00:05:58.759 --> 00:06:01.562
That's not true.

119
00:06:01.596 --> 00:06:03.030
I'm sure there's
plenty of women out there

120
00:06:03.064 --> 00:06:05.099
you could have
an intimate connection with.

121
00:06:05.132 --> 00:06:06.300
Yeah?

122
00:06:06.334 --> 00:06:09.136
I don't know any, but I'm sure
they're out there.

123
00:06:09.170 --> 00:06:10.238
Tissue?

124
00:06:10.738 --> 00:06:12.073
Thank you.

125
00:06:13.975 --> 00:06:15.543
Brooklyn, you're not even
gonna believe

126
00:06:15.576 --> 00:06:16.744
what happened to me just now.

127
00:06:16.777 --> 00:06:19.280
- I can come back...
- No, no!

128
00:06:19.313 --> 00:06:21.182
Our session was just ending.

129
00:06:21.215 --> 00:06:22.950
Yeah. Wait, what? It is?

130
00:06:22.984 --> 00:06:25.620
- Yes, it is.
- Just like my marriage.

131
00:06:25.653 --> 00:06:27.588
Now, if you refer a friend,

132
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you will get your tenth visit
half-off.

133
00:06:29.489 --> 00:06:31.826
- Oh, thank you.
- You can exit through the kitchen.

134
00:06:31.859 --> 00:06:34.228
Please be sure
to lock the gate behind you

135
00:06:34.262 --> 00:06:35.129
because we have a dog.

136
00:06:35.162 --> 00:06:37.198
Thank you so much.
You're like an angel.

137
00:06:37.231 --> 00:06:38.733
Oh, I know. Go ahead.

138
00:06:38.766 --> 00:06:40.101
Oh, wait, wait, wait.

139
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If you could drop this off
on your way out,

140
00:06:43.971 --> 00:06:45.673
that'd be really helpful.

141
00:06:45.706 --> 00:06:47.474
Thanks, sweetie. Bye-bye.

142
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And good luck.

143
00:06:49.277 --> 00:06:51.012
- Good luck.
- Bye, now.

144
00:06:52.580 --> 00:06:53.748
Dude, what the fuck?

145
00:06:53.781 --> 00:06:55.783
I know! $200.

146
00:06:55.816 --> 00:06:57.184
I already paid for
my business cards

147
00:06:57.218 --> 00:06:58.953
and three coffees
from Starbucks.

148
00:06:58.986 --> 00:07:00.721
What the fuck is
a conscious cuddle, anyway?

149
00:07:00.755 --> 00:07:02.422
A safe way to make money
from home, Hannah.

150
00:07:02.455 --> 00:07:04.292
So is Mary Kay.

151
00:07:04.325 --> 00:07:05.626
I don't know what that is.

152
00:07:05.660 --> 00:07:07.094
What is that?
Is that a Jersey thing?

153
00:07:07.128 --> 00:07:09.764
Are you in the position
to be giving spiritual advice?

154
00:07:09.797 --> 00:07:11.098
Because you don't
believe in God

155
00:07:11.132 --> 00:07:12.633
and your therapist says
you're one step away

156
00:07:12.667 --> 00:07:14.302
from being
a fully-fledged sociopath.

157
00:07:14.335 --> 00:07:17.038
A week ago, the old Brooklyn
would have hit a bitch

158
00:07:17.071 --> 00:07:18.773
for talking to me like that...

159
00:07:18.806 --> 00:07:20.808
But I live in LA now
and I'm spiritual.

160
00:07:20.841 --> 00:07:22.343
So I'm just going to
kindly ask you

161
00:07:22.376 --> 00:07:24.679
to go into the kitchen
and make me that fat toast

162
00:07:24.712 --> 00:07:26.747
I like so much
with the avocados.

163
00:07:26.781 --> 00:07:28.582
Spiritually shut the door
on your way out, too.

164
00:07:28.616 --> 00:07:29.717
Namaste.

165
00:07:29.750 --> 00:07:31.652
- Meow.
- Isn't what you're doing

166
00:07:31.686 --> 00:07:33.688
kind of like escorting?

167
00:07:33.721 --> 00:07:36.190
Isn't there supposed to be
avocado on this?

168
00:07:36.223 --> 00:07:39.694
Look, there's nothing sexual
about it.

169
00:07:39.727 --> 00:07:41.028
If anyone gets creepy
with me,

170
00:07:41.062 --> 00:07:42.495
I have a taser
in my night stand

171
00:07:42.530 --> 00:07:43.731
right by my vibrator.

172
00:07:43.764 --> 00:07:45.099
That sounds safe.

173
00:07:45.132 --> 00:07:47.601
No. No.

174
00:07:47.635 --> 00:07:48.803
Oh, fuck, no.

175
00:07:48.836 --> 00:07:51.038
Where are all the quality guys
on this thing?

176
00:07:51.072 --> 00:07:53.441
It says they're all actors
and entrepreneurs and shit.

177
00:07:53.473 --> 00:07:56.177
Well, "entrepreneur"
doesn't sound so bad.

178
00:07:56.210 --> 00:07:59.447
"Entrepreneur" means unemployed
or drug dealer, Hannah.

179
00:07:59.479 --> 00:08:02.416
Considering you just broke off
your engagement two months ago,

180
00:08:02.450 --> 00:08:05.453
do you really think you need
to be on any more dating apps?

181
00:08:05.485 --> 00:08:09.557
Says the girl with the terrible,
jealous, judgmental boyfriend.

182
00:08:09.590 --> 00:08:11.292
Besides, I'm the one
who ended it,

183
00:08:11.325 --> 00:08:12.827
and I'm totally okay.

184
00:08:12.860 --> 00:08:14.662
Moving on to bigger
and better things.

185
00:08:14.695 --> 00:08:17.665
Like "conscious cuddling"?

186
00:08:17.698 --> 00:08:20.735
I'm just saying,
we've only lived here for two weeks

187
00:08:20.768 --> 00:08:23.404
and already there's
Rob the bartender,

188
00:08:23.437 --> 00:08:24.805
Roberto the club promoter,

189
00:08:24.839 --> 00:08:26.207
Chad the skateboarder,

190
00:08:26.240 --> 00:08:28.042
and Bob
the stand-up comedian.

191
00:08:28.075 --> 00:08:29.176
I mean, if you do
the math,

192
00:08:29.210 --> 00:08:30.845
that's three Robs and a Chad.

193
00:08:30.878 --> 00:08:32.380
Would you like me
to continue?

194
00:08:32.413 --> 00:08:33.714
You're right.

195
00:08:33.748 --> 00:08:35.883
Total fucking losers.

196
00:08:35.916 --> 00:08:37.418
That's why I need to get
on Raya.

197
00:08:38.853 --> 00:08:42.056
Raya... The dating app
for celebrities.

198
00:08:42.089 --> 00:08:43.858
Kira met Matthew Perry
on that thing.

199
00:08:44.692 --> 00:08:45.993
But you're not a celebrity.

200
00:08:46.027 --> 00:08:50.331
I have almost 6,000 followers
on Instagram, Hannah.

201
00:08:50.364 --> 00:08:51.599
I'm an influencer.

202
00:08:51.632 --> 00:08:54.235
Well, it sounds like you're
really "breaking the Internet."

203
00:08:54.268 --> 00:08:56.904
Thank you. Instagram followers
aren't cheap.

204
00:09:07.848 --> 00:09:10.051
It smells like sh-dookie
in here.

205
00:09:10.084 --> 00:09:11.752
Well, if you took the dog
on more walks,

206
00:09:11.786 --> 00:09:13.354
we wouldn't be sitting
in his toilet.

207
00:09:13.387 --> 00:09:14.555
I walk.

208
00:09:14.588 --> 00:09:17.091
Going to take selfies at
Runyon doesn't count, Brooklyn.

209
00:09:17.825 --> 00:09:18.893
I'm going to make food.

210
00:09:18.926 --> 00:09:20.361
I feel like
we're always eating.

211
00:09:20.394 --> 00:09:21.729
Basically.

212
00:09:21.762 --> 00:09:24.265
Okay, well, just remember that I
can't have gluten, dairy or meat.

213
00:09:24.298 --> 00:09:27.334
Oh, I see. Chef Hannah
at your service.

214
00:09:27.368 --> 00:09:29.070
Well, I would offer
to help you,

215
00:09:29.103 --> 00:09:31.839
but we both know that the only thing
I have control over in the kitchen

216
00:09:31.872 --> 00:09:33.707
is the fire extinguisher. So...

217
00:09:34.875 --> 00:09:36.844
- Oh, my God!
- What?

218
00:09:36.877 --> 00:09:38.412
- Fucking brace yourself.
- What?

219
00:09:38.446 --> 00:09:40.247
- It's Christian.
- What?

220
00:09:40.281 --> 00:09:42.817
Christian! Our high school
PE coach.

221
00:09:42.850 --> 00:09:44.618
The one everyone was
in love with?

222
00:09:44.652 --> 00:09:46.854
Yes. Oh, my God.

223
00:09:46.887 --> 00:09:48.489
Do you remember
when we met him?

224
00:09:48.523 --> 00:09:50.357
You just decided to commute
from Jersey,

225
00:09:50.391 --> 00:09:53.360
and I had just transferred from
that ratchet all-girls cunt academy.

226
00:09:53.394 --> 00:09:55.896
I remember.
You just matched with him?

227
00:09:55.930 --> 00:09:57.898
Yeah. Holy shit.

228
00:09:57.932 --> 00:09:59.633
I guess that means
he lives here now.

229
00:09:59.667 --> 00:10:01.202
- Mmm.
- Weird.

230
00:10:01.235 --> 00:10:02.870
Did you even do PE, though?

231
00:10:02.903 --> 00:10:04.105
I thought you got
a note excusing you

232
00:10:04.138 --> 00:10:05.973
because you practiced Reiki.

233
00:10:06.006 --> 00:10:07.775
He messaged me.

234
00:10:09.043 --> 00:10:10.478
Okay, I'm not going to
respond right away

235
00:10:10.512 --> 00:10:13.414
because I want to
not look desperate.

236
00:10:13.447 --> 00:10:14.583
Yeah, that's smart.

237
00:10:18.520 --> 00:10:19.554
Okay, what do I say?

238
00:10:20.788 --> 00:10:21.889
I don't want
to look desperate,

239
00:10:21.922 --> 00:10:23.357
so I was thinking...

240
00:10:24.758 --> 00:10:27.027
Oh, yeah,
that's playing it real cool.

241
00:10:28.095 --> 00:10:30.164
Ah, he already responded.

242
00:10:31.065 --> 00:10:32.900
Be a doll
and grab the Pinot.

243
00:10:32.933 --> 00:10:34.335
I probably shouldn't drink.

244
00:10:34.368 --> 00:10:36.470
You know Damon thinks I'm
super annoying when I'm drunk.

245
00:10:36.505 --> 00:10:38.038
Pretty soon you're not even
going to be able

246
00:10:38.072 --> 00:10:39.608
to take a shit
without checking in

247
00:10:39.640 --> 00:10:40.908
with Probation
Officer Damon.

248
00:10:40.941 --> 00:10:42.910
That is not true.

249
00:10:42.943 --> 00:10:44.478
I shit when I want.

250
00:10:44.513 --> 00:10:47.114
It's a little twisted you still use these.

251
00:10:47.148 --> 00:10:50.251
It's a little
twisted you only open one bottle.

252
00:10:53.888 --> 00:10:55.524
Ah!

253
00:10:55.557 --> 00:10:57.758
He invited us
to go to San Diego...

254
00:10:57.791 --> 00:10:59.528
Or he invited me,
but you're coming.

255
00:10:59.561 --> 00:11:01.395
Because you don't have
a driver's license?

256
00:11:01.428 --> 00:11:04.465
I do. I just forgot to pay
those parking tickets.

257
00:11:04.498 --> 00:11:06.500
Ah, because you're
irresponsible, then.

258
00:11:06.535 --> 00:11:08.702
Jesus Christ, why are you
always such a buzzkill?

259
00:11:08.736 --> 00:11:10.271
What's in San Diego?

260
00:11:10.304 --> 00:11:12.206
I should stay here
and try and look for a job.

261
00:11:12.239 --> 00:11:14.208
They don't just hand out
production jobs, B.

262
00:11:14.241 --> 00:11:16.210
And my parents
are really riding my ass.

263
00:11:16.243 --> 00:11:18.445
I really don't want to
end up in reality again.

264
00:11:24.485 --> 00:11:27.154
- "Catch up."
- What kind of event is this exactly?

265
00:11:27.188 --> 00:11:28.657
Who the fuck cares?
It's Comic Con.

266
00:11:28.689 --> 00:11:31.258
And I'm pretty sure "catch up"
is a euphemism for dirty sex.

267
00:11:31.292 --> 00:11:34.061
Or maybe he really does
just wanna catch up.

268
00:11:34.094 --> 00:11:35.396
This thing is
literally tomorrow

269
00:11:35.429 --> 00:11:37.064
and I don't think that Damon
would appreciate it

270
00:11:37.097 --> 00:11:38.999
if I just left
without saying anything.

271
00:11:39.033 --> 00:11:41.235
Great. We'll rent a car.
We'll leave tomorrow.

272
00:11:41.268 --> 00:11:43.337
This is gonna be
the most epic road trip ever.

273
00:11:43.370 --> 00:11:46.040
It's like our Romy and Michele
Tucson "here we come," moment.

274
00:11:46.073 --> 00:11:47.741
Don't you have
to work, anyway?

275
00:11:47.775 --> 00:11:48.776
Bitch, please.

276
00:11:48.809 --> 00:11:50.844
I'm a freelance
cuddle consultant.

277
00:11:50.878 --> 00:11:52.079
I make my own schedule.

278
00:11:56.884 --> 00:11:58.052
Ugh.

279
00:11:58.085 --> 00:11:59.386
We're going.

280
00:11:59.420 --> 00:12:01.523
This could be the future
father of my children.

281
00:12:01.556 --> 00:12:03.090
Or at least the dog.

282
00:12:03.123 --> 00:12:04.491
I'm not getting any younger.

283
00:12:04.526 --> 00:12:06.528
I really don't think
this is a good idea.

284
00:12:06.561 --> 00:12:07.696
Plus, Comic Con?

285
00:12:07.728 --> 00:12:10.030
You said that Marvel movies
give you anxiety.

286
00:12:10.064 --> 00:12:11.765
Not the ones
with Chris Hemsworth.

287
00:12:11.799 --> 00:12:13.668
Hello, Daddy.

288
00:12:13.702 --> 00:12:14.835
I wonder
if he's on Raya.

289
00:12:14.868 --> 00:12:16.136
He's married.

290
00:12:16.705 --> 00:12:17.805
So?

291
00:12:25.212 --> 00:12:26.947
Welcome to DUI's car rental.
How can I help you today?

292
00:12:26.981 --> 00:12:29.049
Hello. We'd like to rent
a car, please.

293
00:12:29.083 --> 00:12:30.251
I can definitely help you.

294
00:12:30.284 --> 00:12:33.120
- Do you have a reservation?
- No.

295
00:12:33.153 --> 00:12:35.456
But I'm sure we can
figure something out.

296
00:12:35.489 --> 00:12:37.659
I'll see
what I can do for you.

297
00:12:37.692 --> 00:12:39.360
Thanks.

298
00:12:40.761 --> 00:12:42.129
What the fuck, Hannah?

299
00:12:42.162 --> 00:12:43.998
What happened to you?

300
00:12:44.031 --> 00:12:45.634
Well, I thought I was
looking a little pale,

301
00:12:45.667 --> 00:12:48.002
so I went and got one of
those airbrush tans.

302
00:12:48.035 --> 00:12:50.304
Okay. You look like
a black Rosie Perez

303
00:12:50.337 --> 00:12:52.306
or the guy from
<i>The Jazz Singer.</i>

304
00:12:52.339 --> 00:12:54.842
Clearly. It's gonna wash off
in the shower in two hours,

305
00:12:54.875 --> 00:12:56.043
and then it'll look great.

306
00:12:56.076 --> 00:12:58.212
It fucking better.
I'm so sorry.

307
00:12:58.245 --> 00:13:00.347
Here's your Venti matcha.

308
00:13:00.948 --> 00:13:02.049
Almond milk?

309
00:13:02.082 --> 00:13:03.652
Do I look like an idiot?

310
00:13:03.685 --> 00:13:06.320
- Is that a legitimate question right now?
- Yes, it's almond milk.

311
00:13:06.353 --> 00:13:08.322
Not everyone is trying to
poison you, Brooklyn.

312
00:13:08.355 --> 00:13:09.823
You know I have bad IBS.

313
00:13:09.857 --> 00:13:12.126
I have one car left.

314
00:13:12.159 --> 00:13:13.927
- We'll take it.
- Great.

315
00:13:13.961 --> 00:13:16.598
I'm hoping it's a Mustang.

316
00:13:16.631 --> 00:13:18.432
- How cute would we look in a Mustang?
- We need an SUV.

317
00:13:18.465 --> 00:13:20.434
We need to be up high,
I'm little.

318
00:13:20.467 --> 00:13:22.036
What about, like, a Cadillac?

319
00:13:22.069 --> 00:13:23.804
- Okay.
- Or like an Escalade.

320
00:13:23.837 --> 00:13:25.139
Whatever's classy.

321
00:13:25.172 --> 00:13:26.407
Escalade's great.

322
00:13:26.440 --> 00:13:28.842
I just don't want to
roll up in something janky.

323
00:13:28.876 --> 00:13:30.010
It better be something nice.

324
00:13:31.945 --> 00:13:33.881
I don't think
this is almond milk.

325
00:13:33.914 --> 00:13:35.482
Where the hell is this guy?

326
00:13:35.517 --> 00:13:37.284
I feel like
I'm fucking melting out here.

327
00:13:39.554 --> 00:13:41.723
You've got to be
fucking kidding me.

328
00:13:47.261 --> 00:13:48.295
Absolutely not.

329
00:13:48.329 --> 00:13:50.831
I'm not getting in it. No.

330
00:13:50.864 --> 00:13:52.199
Your chariot awaits.

331
00:13:52.433 --> 00:13:53.601
No.

332
00:13:53.635 --> 00:13:55.369
What happened to the handle?

333
00:13:55.402 --> 00:13:57.171
Just grab the one
inside the door.

334
00:14:03.110 --> 00:14:04.546
Give me the keys.

335
00:14:06.781 --> 00:14:07.915
Oopsies.

336
00:14:07.948 --> 00:14:10.384
I have to shower or I'm gonna
get stuck looking like this.

337
00:14:10.417 --> 00:14:12.086
We have to get in
that house.

338
00:14:12.119 --> 00:14:13.420
Oh, fine.

339
00:14:13.454 --> 00:14:15.289
I'll just hop the fence
and let you in from inside.

340
00:14:15.322 --> 00:14:18.158
It's not my fault your Range
Rover's on a flatbed truck

341
00:14:18.192 --> 00:14:19.893
just now
approaching Nebraska.

342
00:14:19.927 --> 00:14:23.464
Now we have to ride in this piece of
shit rental with no air conditioning.

343
00:14:23.497 --> 00:14:25.232
Okay, next time
we'll take your car.

344
00:14:25.265 --> 00:14:26.668
Oh, right.
You don't have one.

345
00:14:26.701 --> 00:14:28.536
So, if you have
nothing further to say,

346
00:14:28.570 --> 00:14:30.705
I'm about to parkour my way
into the house for you.

347
00:14:40.749 --> 00:14:42.483
- Hey.
- Oh, hey, Teddy.

348
00:14:42.517 --> 00:14:45.386
Hey, Hannah. I didn't know
you had a RAV4...

349
00:14:46.153 --> 00:14:47.955
- with no AC.
- It's a rental.

350
00:14:47.988 --> 00:14:50.991
Um, my Rover is late
from New York.

351
00:14:51.024 --> 00:14:52.459
- I'm suing.
- Right on.

352
00:14:52.493 --> 00:14:54.562
It's kind of like that
Kanye song, am I right?

353
00:14:54.596 --> 00:14:56.230
- Huh?
- "...push a RAV4."

354
00:14:56.263 --> 00:14:57.998
"RAV4..."
Something, something.

355
00:14:58.031 --> 00:15:00.434
Oh, the RAV4. Right, right.

356
00:15:00.467 --> 00:15:01.736
- Yeah.
- Where you all going?

357
00:15:01.770 --> 00:15:04.004
Oh, just to San Diego
for Comic Con for the night.

358
00:15:04.037 --> 00:15:05.305
It's a casual getaway.

359
00:15:05.339 --> 00:15:07.107
Oh, dope. I always wanted
to go to that,

360
00:15:07.141 --> 00:15:08.576
but never could
get away from work.

361
00:15:08.610 --> 00:15:11.613
- Mmm.
- I mean, I love all, like, the costumes...

362
00:15:11.646 --> 00:15:14.047
Yeah. It should be
pretty fun.

363
00:15:14.081 --> 00:15:15.182
We're pretty excited.

364
00:15:15.215 --> 00:15:16.785
- There's...
- Come on, cunt.

365
00:15:16.818 --> 00:15:19.286
We got to get your ass in the
shower, get our junk in the trunk,

366
00:15:19.319 --> 00:15:22.122
and I have to take a regular
milk-shit, you liar.

367
00:15:22.156 --> 00:15:23.924
I knew that wasn't
almond milk.

368
00:15:23.957 --> 00:15:26.193
- Hey, Teddy.
- Hey, Brooklyn.

369
00:15:26.226 --> 00:15:27.327
Classy as always, huh?

370
00:15:27.361 --> 00:15:28.929
It is so good to see you.

371
00:15:28.962 --> 00:15:31.800
And in something other than a
Tommy Bahama shirt, nonetheless.

372
00:15:31.833 --> 00:15:33.467
Although I'm pretty sure
the courts require you

373
00:15:33.500 --> 00:15:35.302
to wear that monitor on your ankle.

374
00:15:36.270 --> 00:15:37.672
Well, Hannah,
I'm gonna get running,

375
00:15:37.705 --> 00:15:39.908
but, uh... it was good
to see you.

376
00:15:39.940 --> 00:15:41.008
Good to see you.

377
00:15:47.080 --> 00:15:49.584
Okay, so we have about
four hours till the show starts.

378
00:15:49.617 --> 00:15:51.452
That gives us enough time
to go to the hotel,

379
00:15:51.485 --> 00:15:54.455
power change, power drink,
power up our cell phones

380
00:15:54.488 --> 00:15:55.924
and get there
with enough time to pre-game.

381
00:15:55.956 --> 00:15:58.025
Where we staying, anyway?

382
00:15:58.058 --> 00:16:00.360
I don't know. It's this hotel
I found on HotelTonight,

383
00:16:00.394 --> 00:16:01.830
but it actually looks
pretty nice.

384
00:16:01.863 --> 00:16:05.667
There is a private bathroom
and a luxury hot tub.

385
00:16:05.700 --> 00:16:08.903
Aw, all right. Maybe this will
actually be kind of fun.

386
00:16:08.937 --> 00:16:10.738
I think so.

387
00:16:10.772 --> 00:16:14.074
Do you remember
this song from high school?

388
00:16:14.107 --> 00:16:16.911
- Hell, yes.
- Oh, my God. Turn it up.

389
00:16:16.945 --> 00:16:19.112
<i>♪ Oh, how she rocks</i>

390
00:16:19.146 --> 00:16:21.315
<i>♪ In Keds and tube socks</i>

391
00:16:21.348 --> 00:16:22.750
Oh! I should snap this
for my followers.

392
00:16:22.784 --> 00:16:25.687
<i>♪ But she doesn't know
who I am</i>

393
00:16:26.788 --> 00:16:31.793
<i>♪ And she doesn't give
a damn about me</i>

394
00:16:31.826 --> 00:16:36.865
<i>♪ 'Cause I'm just
a teenage dirtbag, baby</i>

395
00:16:36.898 --> 00:16:42.504
<i>♪ Yeah, I'm just
a teenage dirtbag, baby</i>

396
00:16:42.537 --> 00:16:48.442
<i>♪ Listen to Iron Maiden, baby
With me</i>

397
00:16:49.009 --> 00:16:51.478
<i>♪ Ooh ♪</i>

398
00:16:56.751 --> 00:16:58.920
Okay.

399
00:16:58.953 --> 00:17:01.021
This is perfect.

400
00:17:01.054 --> 00:17:03.625
Kira Matthews took a photo
here and she got 3,000 likes

401
00:17:03.658 --> 00:17:05.927
and I have better engagement
than she does.

402
00:17:05.960 --> 00:17:06.995
I really have to pee.

403
00:17:07.027 --> 00:17:09.363
Is there a bathroom
around here somewhere?

404
00:17:09.396 --> 00:17:11.231
It's the perfect midway.
It screams,

405
00:17:11.265 --> 00:17:13.535
"I'm on a fucking road trip,
bitches."

406
00:17:13.568 --> 00:17:15.435
Can't we just enjoy
the scenery instead of plotting

407
00:17:15.469 --> 00:17:17.170
- your next Instagram photo?
- Here.

408
00:17:17.204 --> 00:17:19.439
Just be sure to get me
from a good angle, would you?

409
00:17:21.709 --> 00:17:24.444
No, not low to high.
High to low! High to low.

410
00:17:24.478 --> 00:17:26.514
You're gonna make me
look like a fucking whale.

411
00:17:26.548 --> 00:17:28.983
Facetune can only do so much.

412
00:17:30.018 --> 00:17:30.985
Like that?

413
00:17:31.019 --> 00:17:33.555
Um, could you get on my
side, my right side?

414
00:17:33.588 --> 00:17:35.757
And get the mountain
in the background.

415
00:17:35.790 --> 00:17:37.224
Also hurry,
'cause I'm sucking in.

416
00:17:37.257 --> 00:17:39.359
Well, if you would fucking
stop talking so I could take

417
00:17:39.393 --> 00:17:41.328
the goddamn photo
and find a fucking bathroom

418
00:17:41.361 --> 00:17:42.897
that would be great.
Thank you.

419
00:17:45.800 --> 00:17:46.868
How's it look?

420
00:17:48.937 --> 00:17:50.437
Uh, just a couple more.

421
00:17:50.470 --> 00:17:52.372
And do not get that car
in the background.

422
00:17:52.406 --> 00:17:54.042
I don't want anyone thinking
I drive that.

423
00:17:57.411 --> 00:18:00.314
Okay. Got it. Took
approximately 250 photos,

424
00:18:00.347 --> 00:18:01.849
so you should find one
you like.

425
00:18:01.883 --> 00:18:03.450
Sh-weet!

426
00:18:03.483 --> 00:18:04.953
All right,
back in the car we go.

427
00:18:04.986 --> 00:18:07.220
We gotta get there
and you're driving really slow.

428
00:18:07.254 --> 00:18:08.656
You gotta pump on the gas.

429
00:18:08.690 --> 00:18:10.558
Um... But the bathroom?
And by the way,

430
00:18:10.592 --> 00:18:11.726
it's called safe driving.

431
00:18:11.759 --> 00:18:13.293
My driver's ed teacher
used to say,

432
00:18:13.327 --> 00:18:15.029
"Alert today,
alive tomorrow."

433
00:18:15.063 --> 00:18:16.496
Just trying to keep us alive.

434
00:18:16.531 --> 00:18:18.533
Whatever, <i>Driving Miss Daisy.</i>

435
00:18:42.023 --> 00:18:43.457
This is it.

436
00:18:45.627 --> 00:18:47.695
Hmmm. It looked better online.

437
00:18:48.195 --> 00:18:49.229
We'll see.

438
00:18:49.262 --> 00:18:51.465
We're here.

439
00:18:51.498 --> 00:18:54.468
Okay, quick.
I don't want him to see us.

440
00:18:54.502 --> 00:18:55.803
We made it.

441
00:18:59.272 --> 00:19:00.173
Thank you.

442
00:19:06.080 --> 00:19:07.982
This looks like
a six-year-old's bedroom.

443
00:19:08.016 --> 00:19:11.218
Or an obnoxious European man
with a man bun

444
00:19:11.251 --> 00:19:14.722
who vacations in South Beach and wears
a gold chain over his hairy chest.

445
00:19:15.957 --> 00:19:16.958
Okay.

446
00:19:19.761 --> 00:19:20.795
Hello.

447
00:19:24.732 --> 00:19:28.770
So, you just be
two luscious ladies, huh?

448
00:19:28.803 --> 00:19:31.005
One night in San Diego,
correct?

449
00:19:31.039 --> 00:19:32.507
Uh-huh.

450
00:19:32.540 --> 00:19:34.909
Is the whole hotel like this?

451
00:19:35.543 --> 00:19:36.811
Like what?

452
00:19:38.079 --> 00:19:41.281
Goat fucker!

453
00:19:41.314 --> 00:19:44.418
Bad news. We have a small
cleanup issue in your room.

454
00:19:44.451 --> 00:19:46.486
The "ceiling" caved in.

455
00:19:46.521 --> 00:19:49.222
The good news is,
I'm going to upgrade you, eh?

456
00:19:49.256 --> 00:19:50.925
To our celebrity suite.

457
00:19:50.958 --> 00:19:51.993
Ooh!

458
00:19:52.026 --> 00:19:54.729
What makes it
a celebrity suite?

459
00:19:54.762 --> 00:19:56.731
It's the best room
in the hotel.

460
00:19:59.332 --> 00:20:02.436
It's so dark in here.
I can't see anything.

461
00:20:02.469 --> 00:20:04.438
Open a window.

462
00:20:04.471 --> 00:20:05.873
What the fuck?

463
00:20:05.907 --> 00:20:07.942
I just banged
my fucking toe!

464
00:20:07.975 --> 00:20:09.577
God damn it!

465
00:20:09.610 --> 00:20:10.678
Oh!

466
00:20:15.883 --> 00:20:17.819
Oh, no.

467
00:20:18.418 --> 00:20:20.054
Ew.

468
00:20:20.088 --> 00:20:22.056
- No.
- What is this?

469
00:20:22.090 --> 00:20:23.490
No. No!

470
00:20:23.524 --> 00:20:24.892
No!

471
00:20:27.028 --> 00:20:28.261
Ew.

472
00:20:29.864 --> 00:20:31.199
Oh, hello.

473
00:20:31.231 --> 00:20:34.267
Here are two complementary
welcome glasses of Prosecco.

474
00:20:34.301 --> 00:20:36.403
Mmm. Thank you.

475
00:20:36.436 --> 00:20:37.972
If there's anything else
you need,

476
00:20:38.005 --> 00:20:40.775
please don't hesitate
to come downstairs and grab it.

477
00:20:40.808 --> 00:20:42.409
Gee, thanks.

478
00:20:44.512 --> 00:20:46.246
Have a sexy stay with us.

479
00:20:47.380 --> 00:20:48.750
Ugh!

480
00:20:49.050 --> 00:20:50.218
Oh, God.

481
00:20:50.952 --> 00:20:52.186
Ugh!

482
00:20:54.922 --> 00:20:55.790
Damon?

483
00:20:55.823 --> 00:20:57.725
Ugh, yeah. But I'm
not gonna answer it.

484
00:20:57.759 --> 00:21:00.094
He's just gonna yell at me
for something I didn't do.

485
00:21:00.128 --> 00:21:02.462
I swear
I'm a pretty good girlfriend.

486
00:21:02.496 --> 00:21:04.732
You know what?
This is bullshit.

487
00:21:04.766 --> 00:21:06.801
You guys have been dating
for, like, two months,

488
00:21:06.834 --> 00:21:08.703
and most of it has been
long distance.

489
00:21:08.736 --> 00:21:10.403
This is supposed to be
the honeymoon phase.

490
00:21:10.437 --> 00:21:11.672
I know.

491
00:21:11.706 --> 00:21:14.742
Ugh. I should say something,
literally anything.

492
00:21:14.776 --> 00:21:16.409
What's the name of the thing
you were here to see?

493
00:21:16.443 --> 00:21:18.946
You know, you should really be with
someone who's not so controlling.

494
00:21:18.980 --> 00:21:21.549
Says the most
controlling person I know.

495
00:21:21.582 --> 00:21:22.917
I resent that.

496
00:21:35.096 --> 00:21:38.465
Law and Justice SVU,
<i>the unauthorized parody musical?</i>

497
00:21:38.498 --> 00:21:40.268
Are you fucking serious,
Brooklyn?

498
00:21:40.300 --> 00:21:42.170
But you love <i>Law and Justice.</i>

499
00:21:42.203 --> 00:21:43.436
It's your ringtone.

500
00:21:43.470 --> 00:21:45.740
Yeah, for when my mom calls.
That doesn't mean I like it.

501
00:21:45.773 --> 00:21:47.074
She reminds me
of a prosecutor,

502
00:21:47.108 --> 00:21:48.910
cross-examining me
all the fucking time.

503
00:21:48.943 --> 00:21:51.478
Well, at least there's a bar.
That's a good sign.

504
00:21:52.880 --> 00:21:57.251
Kids today, they don't
appreciate the classics, man.

505
00:21:57.285 --> 00:21:59.386
Totally, man.

506
00:22:00.855 --> 00:22:02.990
Do you guys have tickets?

507
00:22:04.457 --> 00:22:06.160
I mean, you don't need tickets

508
00:22:06.194 --> 00:22:08.262
because it's definitely
not sold out,

509
00:22:08.296 --> 00:22:09.931
but if you have tickets,

510
00:22:09.964 --> 00:22:11.966
my boss likes me
to mark it down.

511
00:22:11.999 --> 00:22:14.735
Okay, we should be
on Christian Jones' list.

512
00:22:14.769 --> 00:22:18.072
Okay. Go on in and find a seat.

513
00:22:18.105 --> 00:22:20.675
Wait, there's not, like,
reserved seating?

514
00:22:20.708 --> 00:22:23.544
No, man. Just grab
a free seat.

515
00:22:23.578 --> 00:22:26.413
Okay, well, where is the bar?

516
00:22:26.446 --> 00:22:30.318
Oh, look, Hannah, they have
your favorite, Bloody Mary.

517
00:22:30.350 --> 00:22:33.588
I love Bloody Marys!
Yes.

518
00:22:33.621 --> 00:22:35.156
Fine, I guess I'll have one.

519
00:22:35.189 --> 00:22:37.892
I mean, I can't pass up
a $5 Bloody Mary.

520
00:22:37.925 --> 00:22:40.294
I know.
Two Bloody Marys, please.

521
00:22:40.328 --> 00:22:42.597
Um, are you sure you don't...
You don't want four?

522
00:22:42.630 --> 00:22:44.464
Four? Double fisting?

523
00:22:44.497 --> 00:22:45.933
I like the way you think.

524
00:22:45.967 --> 00:22:48.169
Four Bloody Marys, please.

525
00:22:48.202 --> 00:22:49.770
Friends are coming, so...

526
00:22:49.804 --> 00:22:51.639
We thought we'd get
some for our friends.

527
00:22:51.672 --> 00:22:52.673
They're not coming.

528
00:22:52.707 --> 00:22:54.141
Want a wiener in your drink?

529
00:22:54.175 --> 00:22:55.977
Okay, that's disgusting.
You're gonna have to pay for that.

530
00:22:56.010 --> 00:22:58.779
Oh!

531
00:23:03.651 --> 00:23:05.853
Oh, good. There's people here.

532
00:23:05.887 --> 00:23:07.722
Yeah, shocking.

533
00:23:07.755 --> 00:23:09.790
Looks like everyone in here
is missing a chromosome.

534
00:23:09.824 --> 00:23:11.292
Shh, be nice.

535
00:23:11.325 --> 00:23:13.294
- Grab a seat, would ya?
- This row?

536
00:23:13.327 --> 00:23:14.762
Yeah, that looks good.

537
00:23:21.636 --> 00:23:23.771
Well, no cup holders.

538
00:23:23.804 --> 00:23:25.239
They couldn't afford
colored programs?

539
00:23:25.273 --> 00:23:27.074
I thought this was
a part of Comic Con.

540
00:23:27.708 --> 00:23:29.176
It's supposed to be.

541
00:23:29.210 --> 00:23:31.879
I don't know, maybe it is.
Maybe they just cut costs.

542
00:23:31.913 --> 00:23:34.348
Oh, yeah, and they used all
their cash on a seating chart

543
00:23:34.382 --> 00:23:35.616
and special effects team.

544
00:23:35.650 --> 00:23:37.518
In fact, I may Yelp about it.

545
00:23:37.551 --> 00:23:39.787
It's not that bad.

546
00:23:39.820 --> 00:23:42.023
It's a no for me, dawg. Ugh!

547
00:23:42.056 --> 00:23:44.292
I'm really gonna need
these Bloody Marys.

548
00:23:44.325 --> 00:23:48.195
Oh! I found his name
in the program. Look.

549
00:23:48.229 --> 00:23:51.065
"Christian Jones,
Detective Stabbler.

550
00:23:51.098 --> 00:23:54.402
"In his free time, Christian likes
to explore his passion for song

551
00:23:54.434 --> 00:23:55.937
"and grooving to Nickelback

552
00:23:55.970 --> 00:23:58.471
"with his goldendoodle
James Taylor."

553
00:23:59.507 --> 00:24:01.776
Ah, that's so cute.

554
00:24:01.809 --> 00:24:03.978
You know, if he has a pet,

555
00:24:04.011 --> 00:24:05.880
that means he's good
at relationships.

556
00:24:05.913 --> 00:24:07.648
- If he's good at relationships.
- Boy.

557
00:24:07.682 --> 00:24:09.050
Did you say Nickelback?

558
00:24:09.083 --> 00:24:11.619
I literally unfriended anybody
who like them on Facebook.

559
00:24:11.652 --> 00:24:14.454
Admitting you like them is like
admitting you like Donald Trump.

560
00:24:14.487 --> 00:24:15.623
It's social suicide.

561
00:24:15.656 --> 00:24:18.392
And why is the "S"
in "song" capitalized?

562
00:24:18.426 --> 00:24:19.627
Shh. It's starting.

563
00:24:19.660 --> 00:24:22.129
Wow,
I can hardly contain my excitement.

564
00:24:22.163 --> 00:24:23.664
Perhaps later you would
like to reminisce

565
00:24:23.698 --> 00:24:25.533
about 3 Doors Down
or Creed maybe.

566
00:24:26.400 --> 00:24:27.969
I like Creed.

567
00:24:39.847 --> 00:24:42.183
Hear ye, hear ye!

568
00:24:42.216 --> 00:24:44.819
It's been a long journey
back from the countryside

569
00:24:44.852 --> 00:24:46.988
where I was taking a trip.

570
00:24:47.021 --> 00:24:50.558
I took a good old Greyhound
up to New York City

571
00:24:50.591 --> 00:24:52.159
where the crime rate is high,

572
00:24:52.193 --> 00:24:54.996
and the apartment rentals
are pretty darn steep.

573
00:24:55.029 --> 00:24:57.365
It's like the Oregon Trail
brought before my very eyes.

574
00:24:57.398 --> 00:25:01.435
- Oh, my God.
- It was there that I came across the most valuable players

575
00:25:01.469 --> 00:25:04.038
in the criminal justice system.

576
00:25:04.472 --> 00:25:05.339
These...

577
00:25:06.240 --> 00:25:07.842
are their stories.

578
00:25:15.850 --> 00:25:19.720
<i>♪ What makes a victim special?</i>

579
00:25:19.754 --> 00:25:22.423
<i>♪ Gives you that extra pizzazz!</i>

580
00:25:22.456 --> 00:25:24.358
- <i>♪ Are you elderly?</i>
- <i>♪ Disabled</i>

581
00:25:24.392 --> 00:25:26.227
- <i>♪ Or a child?</i>
- <i>♪ That's cool</i>

582
00:25:26.260 --> 00:25:27.995
<i>♪ Were you murdered
by a psycho?</i>

583
00:25:28.029 --> 00:25:29.997
<i>♪ Or Sanduskied at your school</i>

584
00:25:30.031 --> 00:25:33.501
<i>♪ Nauseating crimes
are what we do</i>

585
00:25:33.534 --> 00:25:36.237
<i>♪ It's Law and Justice</i>

586
00:25:36.270 --> 00:25:39.974
<i>♪ SVU</i>

587
00:25:40.007 --> 00:25:41.809
<i>♪ The musical! ♪</i>

588
00:25:45.713 --> 00:25:48.182
<i>♪ Rape kit, rape kit</i>

589
00:25:48.215 --> 00:25:51.218
<i>♪ What secrets do you carry?</i>

590
00:25:51.252 --> 00:25:56.791
<i>♪ Anal swabs
or napkin sanitaries</i>

591
00:25:56.824 --> 00:25:59.794
Aren't we
supposed to laugh?

592
00:25:59.827 --> 00:26:02.997
<i>♪ Would help
lock up this demon?</i>

593
00:26:03.030 --> 00:26:04.899
<i>♪ Oh, rape kit</i>

594
00:26:04.932 --> 00:26:11.272
<i>♪ Please come through</i>

595
00:26:11.305 --> 00:26:13.107
<i>♪ Rape kit</i>

596
00:26:15.076 --> 00:26:20.347
<i>♪ I love you ♪</i>

597
00:26:21.849 --> 00:26:23.017
It's all right.

598
00:26:23.050 --> 00:26:25.086
How come no one else
is laughing?

599
00:26:26.487 --> 00:26:27.721
<i>♪ I keep on telling you</i>

600
00:26:27.755 --> 00:26:29.558
<i>♪ I'm really not your guy, bro</i>

601
00:26:29.590 --> 00:26:31.158
<i>♪ Let's say I believe you, son</i>

602
00:26:31.192 --> 00:26:33.227
<i>♪ But tell me
how'd she die, though?</i>

603
00:26:33.260 --> 00:26:36.597
<i>♪ I didn't even know her so
of course I didn't shoot her</i>

604
00:26:36.630 --> 00:26:37.965
<i>♪ Good story, pal</i>

605
00:26:37.998 --> 00:26:39.900
<i>♪ But your splooge
was in her kooter</i>

606
00:26:39.934 --> 00:26:41.969
<i>♪ Your splooge</i>

607
00:26:42.002 --> 00:26:43.604
<i>♪ Was in her kooter</i>

608
00:26:43.637 --> 00:26:45.806
<i>♪ Your splooge</i>

609
00:26:45.840 --> 00:26:47.074
<i>♪ Was in her kooter</i>

610
00:26:47.108 --> 00:26:49.176
<i>♪ Your splooge</i>

611
00:26:49.210 --> 00:26:50.845
<i>♪ Was in her kooter</i>

612
00:26:50.878 --> 00:26:52.547
<i>♪ Splooge</i>

613
00:26:52.581 --> 00:26:53.582
<i>♪ Kooter ♪</i>

614
00:26:53.614 --> 00:26:56.417
Answer, boys!

615
00:26:57.184 --> 00:26:58.786
If you fucking shush me again,

616
00:26:58.819 --> 00:27:00.187
I'll push you
in the fucking ocean.

617
00:27:00.221 --> 00:27:02.389
- Do the perp walk.
- I hate people...

618
00:27:03.090 --> 00:27:05.527
Oh, my God.

619
00:27:13.968 --> 00:27:17.905
<i>♪ Law and justice
Law and justice</i>

620
00:27:17.938 --> 00:27:20.374
<i>♪ Law and justice</i>

621
00:27:21.175 --> 00:27:23.277
<i>♪ Law and justice</i>

622
00:27:23.310 --> 00:27:26.981
<i>♪ SVU</i>

623
00:27:27.014 --> 00:27:28.082
<i>♪ The end! ♪</i>

624
00:27:29.350 --> 00:27:31.919
Jesus, that was the longest
ten hours of my life.

625
00:27:31.952 --> 00:27:34.421
Thank God
for those Bloody Marys.

626
00:27:34.455 --> 00:27:36.924
I could really use a cigarette.

627
00:27:36.957 --> 00:27:40.394
And in all actuality, I'm pretty
sure that was only like an hour.

628
00:27:40.427 --> 00:27:42.329
Time off for good behavior?

629
00:27:42.363 --> 00:27:44.398
Um, excuse me, do you have
any cigarettes?

630
00:27:45.766 --> 00:27:46.934
Ew, guess not.

631
00:27:46.967 --> 00:27:48.669
Oh, God, that's nasty.

632
00:27:48.702 --> 00:27:51.138
Maybe he's trying to help
the environment like Leo.

633
00:27:51.172 --> 00:27:52.940
Stripping the streets
of San Diego

634
00:27:52.973 --> 00:27:54.675
one cigarette butt at a time.

635
00:27:54.708 --> 00:27:56.177
Hmm. Just to be clear,

636
00:27:56.210 --> 00:27:57.546
I would totally smoke
Leo's butt.

637
00:27:57.579 --> 00:27:59.780
- I'll bet.
- I didn't mean it like that.

638
00:27:59.813 --> 00:28:01.482
Good tidings,
fellow theater-goers.

639
00:28:01.516 --> 00:28:03.585
Do either of you happen
to have a cigarette

640
00:28:03.618 --> 00:28:04.685
we could bum, perchance?

641
00:28:04.718 --> 00:28:06.420
Why are you talking
like the old man in the play?

642
00:28:06.453 --> 00:28:08.088
I don't know, I feel like
I have to talk like them.

643
00:28:08.122 --> 00:28:09.823
- They can hear you.
- We don't smoke.

644
00:28:09.857 --> 00:28:11.492
No, you know what?
I might, actually.

645
00:28:11.526 --> 00:28:15.129
Um, I confiscated some
at school earlier.

646
00:28:15.496 --> 00:28:16.363
Yeah.

647
00:28:17.164 --> 00:28:18.766
Thank you, good sir.

648
00:28:18.799 --> 00:28:20.701
Are you a student or a teacher?

649
00:28:20.734 --> 00:28:22.069
Do you need a hall pass?

650
00:28:24.138 --> 00:28:26.106
I... I teach science.

651
00:28:26.140 --> 00:28:27.609
Yeah. And he just got out.

652
00:28:27.642 --> 00:28:28.543
Of prison?

653
00:28:28.577 --> 00:28:30.077
The marines, actually.

654
00:28:30.110 --> 00:28:31.946
Two tours in Iraq, one in Syria.

655
00:28:31.979 --> 00:28:33.080
Oh, wow.

656
00:28:33.113 --> 00:28:35.816
Um, apologies on behalf
of my friend here.

657
00:28:35.849 --> 00:28:37.519
And we thank you
for your service.

658
00:28:38.352 --> 00:28:39.353
Thank you.

659
00:28:39.386 --> 00:28:40.522
<i>Semper fi.</i>

660
00:28:41.989 --> 00:28:43.457
Hmm.

661
00:28:43.490 --> 00:28:44.559
Cool backpack.

662
00:28:44.593 --> 00:28:46.160
Uh, yeah. Thanks.

663
00:28:46.193 --> 00:28:49.096
They were giving them out at the <i>Kanye vs.
Predator</i> exhibit. You guys going?

664
00:28:49.129 --> 00:28:50.731
Oh, yeah. My friend's
in the show.

665
00:28:50.764 --> 00:28:52.166
He plays Detective Stabbler.

666
00:28:52.199 --> 00:28:53.734
He'll probably hook us up
with some passes.

667
00:28:53.767 --> 00:28:55.236
What? That's so cool.

668
00:28:55.269 --> 00:28:56.870
You guys know
someone from the show?

669
00:28:56.904 --> 00:28:58.339
Uh-huh. Yeah.

670
00:28:58.372 --> 00:29:00.675
So what are you guys
supposed to be anyway?

671
00:29:00.709 --> 00:29:02.076
- Oh, uh...
- You go first.

672
00:29:02.109 --> 00:29:04.211
Yeah? All right. Well.

673
00:29:04.245 --> 00:29:07.549
I'm Septa Unella.

674
00:29:07.582 --> 00:29:08.816
From <i>Game of Thrones.</i>

675
00:29:10.017 --> 00:29:11.318
Shame!

676
00:29:11.352 --> 00:29:12.353
Shame!

677
00:29:12.654 --> 00:29:13.655
Shame!

678
00:29:14.288 --> 00:29:15.990
Shame!

679
00:29:16.023 --> 00:29:18.660
Sha... It's a character
from <i>Game of Thrones.</i>

680
00:29:18.693 --> 00:29:19.561
And I'm Hodor...

681
00:29:20.562 --> 00:29:21.862
Holding Bran.

682
00:29:23.163 --> 00:29:24.566
Oh, how clever!

683
00:29:24.599 --> 00:29:25.466
Well...

684
00:29:26.000 --> 00:29:26.900
Yeah.

685
00:29:26.934 --> 00:29:28.269
- Thank you.
- Mmm-hmm.

686
00:29:30.004 --> 00:29:31.438
Are you girls models, or...

687
00:29:31.472 --> 00:29:35.175
Oh, I'm actually what people
would call an influencer,

688
00:29:35.209 --> 00:29:37.244
which basically means
I'm famous.

689
00:29:37.278 --> 00:29:39.880
But I also do a blog
and styling.

690
00:29:39.913 --> 00:29:43.150
My passion is screenwriting,
but I cook and I have a podcast.

691
00:29:43.183 --> 00:29:45.819
- I have a lot of talents.
- Wow.

692
00:29:45.853 --> 00:29:47.756
What do you do
for money, though?

693
00:29:47.821 --> 00:29:49.790
Mom? Mom? Are you there?

694
00:29:49.823 --> 00:29:51.559
I'm a conscious cuddler.

695
00:29:51.593 --> 00:29:52.993
Basically, I take people

696
00:29:53.027 --> 00:29:54.862
who've experienced
high levels of trauma

697
00:29:54.895 --> 00:29:56.196
and I cuddle
the shit out of them.

698
00:29:56.230 --> 00:29:57.898
And I'm empathetic
and shit like that.

699
00:29:57.931 --> 00:29:58.899
It's actually quite lucrative.

700
00:29:58.932 --> 00:30:00.568
Does it work for PTSD?

701
00:30:00.602 --> 00:30:02.671
Oh, yeah. I get
all kinds of weirdos.

702
00:30:04.138 --> 00:30:06.040
Um, what about you?

703
00:30:06.073 --> 00:30:07.742
We just moved from New York
two weeks ago.

704
00:30:07.776 --> 00:30:11.879
She's a former reality starlet
turned aspiring film producer.

705
00:30:11.912 --> 00:30:13.280
Wow, what show?

706
00:30:13.314 --> 00:30:15.684
Um, I don't really wanna
talk about it.

707
00:30:15.717 --> 00:30:17.351
It's called
the <i>Parsippany-Troy Hills.</i>

708
00:30:17.384 --> 00:30:18.819
It's basically
like <i>Jersey Shore,</i>

709
00:30:18.852 --> 00:30:21.088
but it's set out of
a flip flop shop in Parsippany.

710
00:30:21.121 --> 00:30:23.324
Just to be clear,
I'm not from Parsippany.

711
00:30:25.527 --> 00:30:26.695
Hi!

712
00:30:26.728 --> 00:30:27.762
Brooklyn.

713
00:30:27.796 --> 00:30:30.030
Oh, my gosh, I'm so sorry.
I almost didn't see you.

714
00:30:30.064 --> 00:30:31.999
I was so busy talking
to my new friends.

715
00:30:32.032 --> 00:30:34.736
It's so great to see you.
What did you think of the show?

716
00:30:34.769 --> 00:30:37.237
I loved the show.
The show was...

717
00:30:37.271 --> 00:30:39.574
- Amazing. Right, Hannah?
- Mmm!

718
00:30:39.607 --> 00:30:40.841
You remember Hannah?

719
00:30:40.874 --> 00:30:42.610
I think so. You ladies were
in the same class in LaGuardia.

720
00:30:42.644 --> 00:30:43.611
- Hmm.
- Yeah.

721
00:30:43.645 --> 00:30:46.347
So, what was your
favorite part of the show?

722
00:30:46.380 --> 00:30:48.082
Oh, definitely
the Japanese water torture.

723
00:30:48.115 --> 00:30:49.149
Chinese.

724
00:30:49.183 --> 00:30:50.317
- Oh.
- It was Chinese.

725
00:30:50.351 --> 00:30:52.853
Chinese water torture.

726
00:30:52.886 --> 00:30:55.089
And then they started singing
about sexual assault.

727
00:30:55.122 --> 00:30:56.558
It's such a powerful topic.

728
00:30:56.591 --> 00:30:59.293
Yeah, "torture" is definitely
a word that came to mind.

729
00:30:59.326 --> 00:31:01.395
You know, that's
one of my favorite scenes.

730
00:31:02.029 --> 00:31:03.598
It really makes you feel...

731
00:31:10.304 --> 00:31:11.639
You know what I mean?

732
00:31:11.673 --> 00:31:12.841
- Yeah.
- Hannah, what about you?

733
00:31:12.873 --> 00:31:14.576
What was your favorite part
of my performance?

734
00:31:14.609 --> 00:31:18.078
I... There's just so many,
I don't know that I could tell you.

735
00:31:18.112 --> 00:31:19.446
I know, right? But pick one.

736
00:31:19.480 --> 00:31:21.382
Yeah, Hannah, pick one!

737
00:31:21.415 --> 00:31:24.084
Well, I really loved the part
where you and the lady cop

738
00:31:24.118 --> 00:31:26.420
sang about friendship
in the workplace.

739
00:31:26.453 --> 00:31:27.689
I wish I had friends at work.

740
00:31:27.722 --> 00:31:30.558
Oh, and <i>Splooge in her Kooter</i>
was a great song.

741
00:31:30.592 --> 00:31:31.726
- Yes.
- Yeah.

742
00:31:31.760 --> 00:31:34.596
You know, I've always thought
police officers were so...

743
00:31:34.629 --> 00:31:36.831
Sexy and powerful.

744
00:31:38.332 --> 00:31:40.334
Great show, Christian.

745
00:31:40.367 --> 00:31:42.570
Thanks, Treasure,
so good to see you.

746
00:31:42.604 --> 00:31:45.139
I'm gonna wait inside
and get something from the bar.

747
00:31:45.172 --> 00:31:46.206
I think that's a great idea.

748
00:31:46.240 --> 00:31:47.374
I'll be in in just a minute.

749
00:31:47.408 --> 00:31:48.909
I'm just saying hello
to some old friends.

750
00:31:50.911 --> 00:31:51.846
'Kay.

751
00:31:52.580 --> 00:31:53.848
'Kay.

752
00:31:53.882 --> 00:31:56.818
Hey, you guys wanna hear
some <i>Law and Justice</i> humor?

753
00:31:56.851 --> 00:31:58.085
Hey, you know what, I'm sorry,

754
00:31:58.118 --> 00:31:59.521
I actually have to
go back in and strike,

755
00:31:59.554 --> 00:32:01.121
tonight being
our last show and all.

756
00:32:01.155 --> 00:32:02.923
Why don't you ladies pop in
for a quick drink

757
00:32:02.956 --> 00:32:04.759
if you're finished talking
with these fine gents.

758
00:32:04.793 --> 00:32:07.394
- Yeah, sounds like a plan.
- All right.

759
00:32:10.698 --> 00:32:12.332
- All right, excuse me.
- All right.

760
00:32:12.366 --> 00:32:13.467
- All right.
- Okay.

761
00:32:13.500 --> 00:32:14.669
Okay.

762
00:32:14.702 --> 00:32:17.204
Last show? I thought
this was the only show.

763
00:32:18.472 --> 00:32:20.107
Don't fuck this up for me
with your negativity.

764
00:32:20.140 --> 00:32:22.376
You know what?
We actually have to go.

765
00:32:22.409 --> 00:32:25.412
Tomorrow we've got
some latex to set,

766
00:32:25.446 --> 00:32:27.181
and it takes so...
It's a process.

767
00:32:27.214 --> 00:32:28.683
Maybe we'll see you guys there.

768
00:32:28.716 --> 00:32:30.752
- Maybe.
- Yeah, yeah. For sure.

769
00:32:30.785 --> 00:32:32.654
All right. Okay.

770
00:32:32.687 --> 00:32:35.088
You know what? Uh, you should
have the backpack.

771
00:32:35.122 --> 00:32:36.256
- You should have it.
- Oh, no.

772
00:32:36.290 --> 00:32:37.659
'Cause it'll look better on you.

773
00:32:37.692 --> 00:32:40.327
And they're giving out a...
They're giving out a ton...

774
00:32:40.360 --> 00:32:42.095
Oh, you know, I don't need that.

775
00:32:42.129 --> 00:32:43.497
- I don't need it.
- No, I insist.

776
00:32:43.531 --> 00:32:44.498
I'll take the backpack.

777
00:32:44.532 --> 00:32:45.966
- Take the backpack.
- Thank you.

778
00:32:45.999 --> 00:32:47.034
No. No, big deal.

779
00:32:47.067 --> 00:32:48.335
- Thanks. See ya.
- All right.

780
00:32:48.368 --> 00:32:51.972
What? She... She looked like
she wanted it.

781
00:32:52.005 --> 00:32:53.240
That's
fucking hideous.

782
00:32:53.273 --> 00:32:54.542
It's fucking rad and I like it.

783
00:32:54.576 --> 00:32:56.611
You put me through this shit,
I get the backpack.

784
00:33:00.380 --> 00:33:01.850
Hey, Mr. Bartender.

785
00:33:01.883 --> 00:33:04.919
Hey. Well, I don't have
much left in terms of drinks.

786
00:33:04.953 --> 00:33:07.421
But I can make you ladies
a couple double vodka Red Bulls.

787
00:33:07.454 --> 00:33:09.189
Sounds good to me.

788
00:33:09.223 --> 00:33:11.124
You know that stuff
makes us a little wild.

789
00:33:11.158 --> 00:33:13.093
I don't know
what you're talking about.

790
00:33:13.126 --> 00:33:14.127
Here you go.

791
00:33:14.161 --> 00:33:15.028
Thanks.

792
00:33:16.063 --> 00:33:17.097
<i>Chindon.</i>

793
00:33:17.130 --> 00:33:18.065
<i>Salud.</i>

794
00:33:18.098 --> 00:33:19.399
<i>Mazel tov!</i>

795
00:33:22.770 --> 00:33:25.405
You know, I'm so stoked
you ladies enjoyed the show.

796
00:33:25.439 --> 00:33:27.809
As you know, I've been
acting in film for a while,

797
00:33:27.842 --> 00:33:30.845
but I feel like now the theater
is calling my name.

798
00:33:30.879 --> 00:33:32.312
Oh, yeah. Sounds like it.

799
00:33:32.346 --> 00:33:35.115
It's like when I was playing
assassin number two in <i>Tower Heist.</i>

800
00:33:35.148 --> 00:33:37.317
Ben Stiller turned to me
and he said,

801
00:33:37.351 --> 00:33:38.753
"I bet you'd be great
in the theater."

802
00:33:38.786 --> 00:33:40.955
Oh, my goodness,
that's impressive.

803
00:33:40.989 --> 00:33:42.456
Right? It's like...

804
00:33:42.489 --> 00:33:44.859
<i>♪ When you've been
given the gift</i>

805
00:33:44.893 --> 00:33:47.327
<i>♪ Of song</i>

806
00:33:47.361 --> 00:33:50.264
<i>♪ It seems so wrong... ♪</i>

807
00:33:50.297 --> 00:33:52.099
Not to be bestow it
upon the people.

808
00:33:53.935 --> 00:33:55.537
Ben Stiller knows.

809
00:33:55.570 --> 00:33:57.337
It takes talent
to recognize talent.

810
00:33:57.605 --> 00:33:58.640
Totally.

811
00:33:58.673 --> 00:34:00.708
Are we really talking
about Zoolander right now?

812
00:34:00.742 --> 00:34:01.609
Can he even sing?

813
00:34:01.643 --> 00:34:02.911
Well, feel free
to finish your drinks.

814
00:34:02.944 --> 00:34:04.879
And I hope you ladies
enjoy San Diego.

815
00:34:04.913 --> 00:34:07.347
Oh, so you're taking off?

816
00:34:07.381 --> 00:34:08.583
That's a shocker.

817
00:34:08.616 --> 00:34:09.918
Well, you know,
few of the fellas

818
00:34:09.951 --> 00:34:12.119
and valued cast members
are going out on this yacht.

819
00:34:12.152 --> 00:34:15.890
I would invite you ladies, I really
would, but there just... Just isn't room.

820
00:34:15.924 --> 00:34:18.960
Oh. That's fine, I guess.

821
00:34:18.993 --> 00:34:21.829
Yeah, sounds like space would be
really tight on a yacht.

822
00:34:21.863 --> 00:34:24.164
Yes. Treasure's ex-husband
owns it.

823
00:34:24.197 --> 00:34:26.366
He's a bigwig at Google.

824
00:34:27.501 --> 00:34:29.837
Sounds positively teensy.

825
00:34:29.871 --> 00:34:32.674
But you're gonna get us passes
to Comic Con, right?

826
00:34:32.707 --> 00:34:35.309
- And we'll see you later, right?
- Possibly.

827
00:34:35.342 --> 00:34:36.878
My plans are a little up
in the air right now,

828
00:34:36.911 --> 00:34:39.981
but I gotta spend a little time
with the <i>Law and Justice</i> fam.

829
00:34:40.014 --> 00:34:42.884
In regards to the passes
for the convention center...

830
00:34:42.917 --> 00:34:45.587
I'd get you passes,
I really would, but the truth is

831
00:34:45.620 --> 00:34:48.488
I don't have any,
because technically...

832
00:34:49.189 --> 00:34:51.059
This isn't a Comic Con event.

833
00:34:51.091 --> 00:34:52.627
No shit.

834
00:34:52.660 --> 00:34:54.896
So, you're just gonna leave?

835
00:34:54.929 --> 00:34:56.263
Oh, no, I'm gonna
finish this drink,

836
00:34:56.296 --> 00:34:57.532
and then I'm gonna leave.

837
00:34:57.565 --> 00:34:59.266
So, what you're saying is
you don't have passes

838
00:34:59.299 --> 00:35:02.302
and we drove three hours to
technically not go to Comic Con?

839
00:35:02.336 --> 00:35:04.237
So great to see you ladies.

840
00:35:04.271 --> 00:35:06.139
Oh, and you know,
I'm up for the dad

841
00:35:06.173 --> 00:35:07.709
in <i>Dirty Dancing: The Musical.</i>

842
00:35:07.742 --> 00:35:10.044
And it's a national tour,
so I'm gonna be pretty...

843
00:35:12.013 --> 00:35:13.347
I'm gonna be pretty busy.

844
00:35:13.380 --> 00:35:14.916
But hopefully,
we can reconnect in LA,

845
00:35:14.949 --> 00:35:16.884
and maybe I can get you in
for a rehearsal.

846
00:35:16.918 --> 00:35:21.188
I mean, like, nobody puts baby
in a corner, right?

847
00:35:21.221 --> 00:35:22.590
Yeah, sure.

848
00:35:23.256 --> 00:35:24.124
Be safe.

849
00:35:24.424 --> 00:35:25.660
Bye...

850
00:35:28.763 --> 00:35:29.764
Uh...

851
00:35:30.364 --> 00:35:31.431
Hmm.

852
00:35:34.569 --> 00:35:36.571
Can you believe
that fucking guy?

853
00:35:36.604 --> 00:35:39.272
"There's not enough room
on a yacht."

854
00:35:39.306 --> 00:35:40.708
You gotta be joking.

855
00:35:40.742 --> 00:35:44.012
Well, at least we got
this dope-ass backpack now.

856
00:35:44.045 --> 00:35:45.847
I feel like I'm one of them.

857
00:35:45.880 --> 00:35:48.482
A nerd, Brooklyn,
I'm blending in.

858
00:35:48.516 --> 00:35:50.518
I love it!

859
00:35:50.551 --> 00:35:51.986
Like, what are we
supposed to do now?

860
00:35:52.020 --> 00:35:54.321
I drove three and a half hours
for me not to get a boyfriend,

861
00:35:54.354 --> 00:35:55.690
and not to get fucked.

862
00:35:55.723 --> 00:35:57.025
Like he was ever gonna be
your boyfriend.

863
00:35:57.058 --> 00:35:59.292
He's just some loser PE teacher
who played

864
00:35:59.326 --> 00:36:02.096
assassin number something in
some movie that nobody ever saw.

865
00:36:02.130 --> 00:36:03.665
Well, actually, now
that I think about it,

866
00:36:03.698 --> 00:36:05.633
Damon and I saw it, and I
don't recall him being in it.

867
00:36:05.667 --> 00:36:06.968
But that's not the point.

868
00:36:07.001 --> 00:36:09.037
You were probably too busy
sucking his dick to notice.

869
00:36:09.771 --> 00:36:11.539
He could've been my boyfriend.

870
00:36:11.572 --> 00:36:12.974
He was giving me
all the right signals.

871
00:36:13.007 --> 00:36:15.242
He was flirting with me...
Like, do I look bad?

872
00:36:15.275 --> 00:36:16.476
No. Jesus!

873
00:36:16.511 --> 00:36:18.112
Why is this always about you?

874
00:36:18.146 --> 00:36:20.715
We look hot, and we didn't come
all this fucking way

875
00:36:20.748 --> 00:36:22.150
to sit on our asses
with the cast

876
00:36:22.182 --> 00:36:23.618
of some shitty parody musical

877
00:36:23.651 --> 00:36:25.385
that shouldn't even be
a musical.

878
00:36:25.419 --> 00:36:27.320
I mean, who sings songs
about rape kits?

879
00:36:27.354 --> 00:36:28.856
Who writes this shit?

880
00:36:29.489 --> 00:36:30.792
I guess you're right.

881
00:36:32.026 --> 00:36:33.393
Well, what do
you wanna do, then?

882
00:36:33.427 --> 00:36:35.730
I don't really wanna go back
to our bum hotel.

883
00:36:35.763 --> 00:36:37.431
Let's get white girl wasted.

884
00:36:37.464 --> 00:36:40.101
Fuck these losers,
fuck these stupid men.

885
00:36:40.134 --> 00:36:41.468
They're a waste of our time.

886
00:36:41.501 --> 00:36:43.905
This is all about
female empowerment!

887
00:36:45.740 --> 00:36:48.475
Wow, you're bordering
out of control.

888
00:36:48.509 --> 00:36:50.745
It's like I'm looking in the
mirror, and I'm seeing myself.

889
00:36:51.311 --> 00:36:52.479
And?

890
00:36:52.513 --> 00:36:54.849
I kinda like it.

891
00:36:54.882 --> 00:36:56.617
<i>♪ Hey, yo,
we party like a Jenner</i>

892
00:36:56.651 --> 00:36:59.153
<i>♪ I pulled her off of Tinder
Was a hot girl summer</i>

893
00:36:59.187 --> 00:37:00.788
<i>♪ It's a bad bitch winner</i>

894
00:37:00.822 --> 00:37:02.456
<i>♪ I'm a cute boy
You see me</i>

895
00:37:02.489 --> 00:37:03.758
<i>♪ Flirt with the Yeezys</i>

896
00:37:03.791 --> 00:37:04.992
<i>♪ Like the way you tease me</i>

897
00:37:05.026 --> 00:37:06.694
<i>♪ I'mma hate it
when you leave me</i>

898
00:37:06.728 --> 00:37:08.361
<i>♪ Here's the new martini</i>

899
00:37:08.395 --> 00:37:09.564
<i>♪ What'd you say your name was?</i>

900
00:37:09.597 --> 00:37:11.264
<i>♪ Only thing we got in common</i>

901
00:37:11.298 --> 00:37:13.034
<i>♪ Really is the same buzz</i>

902
00:37:13.067 --> 00:37:13.768
<i>♪ What a struggle</i>

903
00:37:13.801 --> 00:37:15.069
<i>♪ We might get in trouble</i>

904
00:37:15.103 --> 00:37:16.604
<i>♪ I'm playing games
like a puzzle</i>

905
00:37:16.637 --> 00:37:18.139
<i>♪ She getting paid
just to cuddle</i>

906
00:37:18.172 --> 00:37:19.107
<i>♪ While I'm young</i>

907
00:37:19.140 --> 00:37:20.808
<i>♪ I'm drunk in the city
with the angels</i>

908
00:37:20.842 --> 00:37:22.076
<i>♪ And she tryna get these jeans</i>

909
00:37:22.110 --> 00:37:23.711
<i>♪ So make sure
you hit the angles</i>

910
00:37:23.745 --> 00:37:26.581
<i>♪ Hot, el fuego
We dippin' like it's queso</i>

911
00:37:26.614 --> 00:37:29.550
<i>♪ You do what I say so Might
fuck around in San Diego... ♪</i>

912
00:37:29.584 --> 00:37:31.219
Excuse me. Sorry.

913
00:37:31.251 --> 00:37:32.252
Excuse me.

914
00:37:32.285 --> 00:37:33.487
There's a list guy.

915
00:37:33.521 --> 00:37:34.822
Oh, please, I got this.

916
00:37:35.455 --> 00:37:37.290
I love your outfit.

917
00:37:37.324 --> 00:37:39.493
You have sensational style.

918
00:37:39.527 --> 00:37:41.062
I don't think he's gonna
let us in, Brooklyn.

919
00:37:41.095 --> 00:37:42.630
Maybe we should go
somewhere else.

920
00:37:42.663 --> 00:37:44.264
Of course he will.
I love the gays.

921
00:37:44.297 --> 00:37:45.600
All my best friends are gay.

922
00:37:45.633 --> 00:37:47.467
I was on the Kiehl's
Gay Pride float

923
00:37:47.501 --> 00:37:49.469
for the past four years
in a row, Hannah.

924
00:37:49.504 --> 00:37:51.304
I'm basically
an honorary gay man.

925
00:37:51.338 --> 00:37:52.439
Whatever you say.

926
00:37:52.472 --> 00:37:53.775
Can I help you?

927
00:37:53.808 --> 00:37:54.509
Hi! Yes.

928
00:37:54.542 --> 00:37:56.511
There are two of us.

929
00:37:56.544 --> 00:37:57.645
Are you a model?

930
00:37:57.678 --> 00:37:59.247
I swear I've seen you before.

931
00:37:59.279 --> 00:38:00.748
Maybe Twist in Miami?

932
00:38:00.782 --> 00:38:03.785
Yeah, you two need to
get in line. Thanks.

933
00:38:03.818 --> 00:38:05.352
And you can't
bring that in here.

934
00:38:05.385 --> 00:38:06.587
Because it may
contain contraband?

935
00:38:06.621 --> 00:38:07.655
Mmm-hmm, because it's hideous.

936
00:38:07.688 --> 00:38:09.389
But it was a gift to us.

937
00:38:09.422 --> 00:38:10.958
Kind sir, what is your name?

938
00:38:10.992 --> 00:38:11.926
Reggie.

939
00:38:11.959 --> 00:38:15.328
Reggie, we drove
all the way from Los Angeles

940
00:38:15.362 --> 00:38:18.065
to go on a date with a guy
who basically ditched us.

941
00:38:18.099 --> 00:38:19.700
I just wanna go in there
and charge my phone.

942
00:38:19.734 --> 00:38:21.969
Fine. Whatever.

943
00:38:22.003 --> 00:38:23.671
Just see the cashier
on your left.

944
00:38:24.172 --> 00:38:25.173
Cashier?

945
00:38:25.640 --> 00:38:26.908
We have to pay?

946
00:38:26.941 --> 00:38:28.810
No. I think
you misunderstood.

947
00:38:28.843 --> 00:38:31.979
I think it's a $10 cover. Each.

948
00:38:32.013 --> 00:38:33.047
Ten dollars?

949
00:38:33.080 --> 00:38:34.749
Dude, come on. I don't wanna
keep walking around.

950
00:38:34.782 --> 00:38:36.017
My feet are starting to hurt.

951
00:38:36.050 --> 00:38:36.751
But, sir,

952
00:38:36.784 --> 00:38:38.920
or... Reggie.

953
00:38:38.953 --> 00:38:42.757
I've never paid to enter
any premises in my entire life.

954
00:38:42.790 --> 00:38:44.792
Usually people pay me
for my presence.

955
00:38:45.358 --> 00:38:46.627
I'm an influencer.

956
00:38:46.661 --> 00:38:49.297
Okay, that might work
in Los Angeles, ma'am,

957
00:38:49.329 --> 00:38:50.531
but this is San Diego.

958
00:38:50.565 --> 00:38:52.667
"Ma'am"?

959
00:38:52.700 --> 00:38:54.501
How old do you think I am?

960
00:38:54.535 --> 00:38:56.137
We're basically the same age!

961
00:38:56.170 --> 00:38:57.271
Okay.

962
00:38:57.305 --> 00:38:58.906
- Ugh!
- What's up, Reg?

963
00:38:58.940 --> 00:39:00.340
Hey, Ramon, how are you doing?

964
00:39:00.373 --> 00:39:01.876
You looking all flawed, man!

965
00:39:01.909 --> 00:39:04.411
Looking all Versace Hachi
right there, man.

966
00:39:04.444 --> 00:39:06.180
Stop it. Oh, my God.

967
00:39:06.214 --> 00:39:07.380
Oh, you shut up, man.

968
00:39:08.516 --> 00:39:10.117
Yo, these lovely ladies
are with us.

969
00:39:10.151 --> 00:39:11.185
You know I got tables.

970
00:39:11.919 --> 00:39:13.554
Hey, anything for you, Ramon.

971
00:39:13.588 --> 00:39:14.956
- You ready to go?
- Uh-huh.

972
00:39:16.290 --> 00:39:17.457
Do you see that?

973
00:39:17.490 --> 00:39:18.793
He called us "girls."

974
00:39:18.826 --> 00:39:21.662
I'm not a "ma'am." I'm not old!

975
00:39:21.696 --> 00:39:23.998
See if I see you on
the Kiehl's float next year.

976
00:39:24.031 --> 00:39:26.000
Hey, get inside
before I change my mind, ma'am.

977
00:39:34.976 --> 00:39:37.912
What the fuck
are these people on?

978
00:39:37.945 --> 00:39:40.848
Whatever it is, I hope
it makes them better looking.

979
00:39:40.882 --> 00:39:43.351
No wonder they have
that guy outside.

980
00:39:43.383 --> 00:39:45.186
It's false advertising.

981
00:39:45.219 --> 00:39:48.322
Yo, so many honeys
in this spot tonight.

982
00:39:48.356 --> 00:39:50.892
And we landed the baddest two
looking right here.

983
00:39:51.259 --> 00:39:52.193
Oh!

984
00:39:58.498 --> 00:39:59.934
Unbelievable!

985
00:39:59.967 --> 00:40:02.069
Let me introduce you
to my crew.

986
00:40:02.103 --> 00:40:03.436
This is Charlie,

987
00:40:03.470 --> 00:40:05.039
that's Tony Montana,

988
00:40:05.072 --> 00:40:06.007
that's TJ,

989
00:40:06.040 --> 00:40:08.441
and that's my boy, Playboy Adam.

990
00:40:10.111 --> 00:40:11.078
Hi.

991
00:40:11.112 --> 00:40:12.213
Ugh.

992
00:40:13.948 --> 00:40:15.650
Shot, shot, shot, shot!

993
00:40:15.683 --> 00:40:17.151
Load it up, load it up.

994
00:40:19.654 --> 00:40:20.922
I feel better.

995
00:40:34.101 --> 00:40:35.136
Hey.

996
00:40:35.169 --> 00:40:36.570
Hey. Hi!

997
00:40:36.604 --> 00:40:37.772
Hi!

998
00:40:37.805 --> 00:40:39.774
I'm so sorry, I know
this is, like, so random,

999
00:40:39.807 --> 00:40:40.875
but are you Hannah,

1000
00:40:40.908 --> 00:40:42.543
from the <i>Parsippany-Troy Hills?</i>

1001
00:40:42.576 --> 00:40:44.946
Oh, yeah. That's me.

1002
00:40:44.979 --> 00:40:47.447
Yeah! Oh, my God, I told you!

1003
00:40:47.480 --> 00:40:48.616
I told you it was her.

1004
00:40:48.649 --> 00:40:51.484
Um, I'm Kelsey,
and this is my BFF, Delia.

1005
00:40:51.519 --> 00:40:52.720
And we're like...

1006
00:40:52.753 --> 00:40:55.323
We're like... We're huge fans.

1007
00:40:55.356 --> 00:40:57.391
Oh, that's so sweet.

1008
00:40:57.425 --> 00:40:59.459
I'm Hannah, obviously.

1009
00:40:59.492 --> 00:41:01.228
And that's
my best friend Brooklyn.

1010
00:41:01.262 --> 00:41:02.196
Oh, my God, hi!

1011
00:41:02.229 --> 00:41:05.199
So, you're not based
in New Jersey?

1012
00:41:05.232 --> 00:41:06.466
No, not anymore.

1013
00:41:06.499 --> 00:41:09.203
We moved here officially from
New York a couple weeks ago.

1014
00:41:09.236 --> 00:41:11.238
I'm getting into other sides
of production,

1015
00:41:11.272 --> 00:41:13.441
and she's a blogger
and a screenwriter.

1016
00:41:13.473 --> 00:41:14.508
Influencer.

1017
00:41:14.542 --> 00:41:16.377
Awesome! You go, girl.

1018
00:41:16.410 --> 00:41:17.511
That is so cool!

1019
00:41:17.545 --> 00:41:19.914
Ladies, why don't you all come
join me and my boys?

1020
00:41:19.947 --> 00:41:22.616
We have a ton of room.
Y'all can drink from my bottle.

1021
00:41:22.650 --> 00:41:25.485
- What are you, like, a promoter?
- Promoter?

1022
00:41:25.519 --> 00:41:27.388
I'm an entrepreneur, baby.

1023
00:41:27.421 --> 00:41:28.622
God, no, this is good.

1024
00:41:28.656 --> 00:41:29.724
Entrepreneur?

1025
00:41:29.757 --> 00:41:31.092
Entrepreneur.

1026
00:41:31.125 --> 00:41:34.428
Hey, so, can your friend
take a photo of us?

1027
00:41:34.462 --> 00:41:36.697
I really... I wanna post it
on the 'Gram.

1028
00:41:36.731 --> 00:41:38.799
- Sure.
- Oh, great. Great.

1029
00:41:39.400 --> 00:41:40.334
Okay.

1030
00:41:41.802 --> 00:41:42.970
Say cheese!

1031
00:41:43.004 --> 00:41:45.139
<i>Parsippany Hills!</i>

1032
00:41:45.673 --> 00:41:46.807
Cool?

1033
00:41:46.841 --> 00:41:49.276
- Oh, my God, it's so good!
- Right?

1034
00:41:49.310 --> 00:41:51.579
Maybe we can all take one
together, actually.

1035
00:41:51.612 --> 00:41:54.281
Hashtag "more beautiful
in person"?

1036
00:41:54.315 --> 00:41:56.684
I think actually
hashtag "new best friend."

1037
00:41:56.717 --> 00:41:59.153
Yay! Oh, my God,
we're like besties now.

1038
00:41:59.186 --> 00:42:00.921
Aren't you gonna introduce us
to your friends?

1039
00:42:00.955 --> 00:42:02.089
Those aren't our friends.

1040
00:42:02.123 --> 00:42:05.626
I'm Kelsey and this is Delia.

1041
00:42:05.659 --> 00:42:07.194
Um, hey, look.

1042
00:42:07.228 --> 00:42:08.963
I'm sorry, I know
this is very...

1043
00:42:08.996 --> 00:42:11.065
You're like, "Who is this girl?"

1044
00:42:11.098 --> 00:42:13.901
but do you wanna go to
another, another bar?

1045
00:42:13.934 --> 00:42:16.470
I mean,
these guys are, like, lame!

1046
00:42:16.505 --> 00:42:19.040
And I'm pretty sure that one of them
is, like, a drug dealer.

1047
00:42:19.073 --> 00:42:20.509
Something we can all agree.

1048
00:42:20.541 --> 00:42:21.942
Uh, I mean, yeah.

1049
00:42:21.976 --> 00:42:24.712
Yeah, I guess.
Uh, what do you think, B?

1050
00:42:24.745 --> 00:42:26.914
And leave
our awesome benefactors?

1051
00:42:26.947 --> 00:42:28.349
Gee, I'm not sure.

1052
00:42:28.849 --> 00:42:30.084
What's up, baby,

1053
00:42:30.117 --> 00:42:32.053
you still giving that lap dance
you promised me?

1054
00:42:33.187 --> 00:42:35.122
You know what, I'm ready to dip.

1055
00:42:35.156 --> 00:42:37.558
Pretty sure I saw that guy
slip something in your drink.

1056
00:42:37.591 --> 00:42:39.960
So, um...

1057
00:42:39.994 --> 00:42:42.163
I'm really sorry, but we're
gonna have to get going.

1058
00:42:42.196 --> 00:42:44.365
My herpes is
starting to flare up.

1059
00:42:44.398 --> 00:42:45.299
Sorry, guys.

1060
00:42:45.332 --> 00:42:47.601
Yo, I got it, too.
Don't worry about that.

1061
00:42:47.635 --> 00:42:48.869
Where are they going?

1062
00:42:48.903 --> 00:42:50.171
They're going to the bathroom.
Now you done scared them, man.

1063
00:42:50.204 --> 00:42:52.039
They were smoking hot, for real.

1064
00:42:52.073 --> 00:42:54.842
Man, I got a pack of rhino pills
ready to use.

1065
00:42:54.875 --> 00:42:57.278
Ugh,
are we almost there?

1066
00:42:57.311 --> 00:42:59.413
My feet hurt,
and I need a Band-Aid.

1067
00:42:59.447 --> 00:43:01.882
When my feet were bothering me,
you didn't care.

1068
00:43:01.916 --> 00:43:03.384
It's just up the street.

1069
00:43:03.417 --> 00:43:05.653
Yeah, it's just
up the street so... Hannah,

1070
00:43:05.686 --> 00:43:07.121
what's it like being famous?

1071
00:43:07.154 --> 00:43:08.523
Do you just get everything
that you want?

1072
00:43:08.557 --> 00:43:11.125
I mean, it's not really
much of anything, to be honest.

1073
00:43:11.158 --> 00:43:12.760
It's been a really long time.

1074
00:43:12.793 --> 00:43:15.329
Well, it's gotta be
awesome, right?

1075
00:43:15.362 --> 00:43:18.265
What happened with Gino?
Is he still your boyfriend?

1076
00:43:18.299 --> 00:43:21.102
No, she dates a real winner now.

1077
00:43:21.135 --> 00:43:22.002
Damon.

1078
00:43:22.036 --> 00:43:23.137
Damon the demon.

1079
00:43:23.170 --> 00:43:25.673
No, Gino and I broke up
a while ago.

1080
00:43:25.706 --> 00:43:27.074
Actually, he's gay,

1081
00:43:27.108 --> 00:43:29.343
and the producer just wanted us
to pretend like we dated.

1082
00:43:29.376 --> 00:43:30.611
No way!

1083
00:43:30.644 --> 00:43:31.846
Stop!

1084
00:43:31.879 --> 00:43:34.215
I totally thought
he was gay TBH,

1085
00:43:34.248 --> 00:43:36.917
because, like, the way he talked
about the thong-toed sandals.

1086
00:43:36.951 --> 00:43:38.919
I was like... I know.

1087
00:43:38.953 --> 00:43:41.255
Did she just say "TBH"
like it was an actual word?

1088
00:43:41.288 --> 00:43:43.023
Hey, but your new boyfriend

1089
00:43:43.057 --> 00:43:44.959
has gotta be like super dreamy.

1090
00:43:44.992 --> 00:43:46.561
I mean, look at you,
you're such a catch,

1091
00:43:46.595 --> 00:43:48.129
and you're all famous and stuff.

1092
00:43:48.162 --> 00:43:50.698
Yeah, why haven't we seen him
on your IG account?

1093
00:43:50.731 --> 00:43:52.366
Yeah, how come?

1094
00:43:52.399 --> 00:43:54.902
Uh, he doesn't like me to post photos
of us together on the Internet.

1095
00:43:54.935 --> 00:43:57.438
And besides, I'm a pretty
private person, so...

1096
00:43:57.471 --> 00:44:00.674
- Yeah, totally, that's it.
- Just shut up already, Brooklyn!

1097
00:44:00.708 --> 00:44:01.742
He's okay.

1098
00:44:01.775 --> 00:44:03.144
He's just
a little controlling...

1099
00:44:03.177 --> 00:44:04.678
And it's only
because he loves me.

1100
00:44:04.712 --> 00:44:07.114
And he's acting,
and it's not good for his image.

1101
00:44:07.148 --> 00:44:08.749
That's what he said
his manager said.

1102
00:44:08.782 --> 00:44:13.187
His manager at Sky Bar,
where he works every night?

1103
00:44:13.220 --> 00:44:15.557
Um, do either of you ladies
have a boyfriend?

1104
00:44:15.590 --> 00:44:18.392
Yeah, actually, that's
where we're going right now.

1105
00:44:18.893 --> 00:44:20.494
His name's Andrew,

1106
00:44:20.529 --> 00:44:23.030
and he works at this really cool
bar up here. It's, like, hella cool.

1107
00:44:23.063 --> 00:44:24.298
- Oh, nice.
- Super cool.

1108
00:44:24.331 --> 00:44:26.100
Yeah. And, you know,
he's actually an actor, too.

1109
00:44:26.133 --> 00:44:27.735
And he's researching
for this, like,

1110
00:44:27.768 --> 00:44:29.403
really big movie
role right now

1111
00:44:29.436 --> 00:44:33.040
where he totally has to completely
ignore his girlfriend for research.

1112
00:44:33.073 --> 00:44:35.510
Uh, how long has
he been researching?

1113
00:44:35.544 --> 00:44:37.311
Um, three months.

1114
00:44:37.344 --> 00:44:39.180
Yeah, he's really,
really dedicated.

1115
00:44:39.213 --> 00:44:41.949
He's kind of like
Daniel Day-Lewis.

1116
00:44:41.982 --> 00:44:44.218
Are you guys
seriously this naive?

1117
00:44:44.586 --> 00:44:46.020
Oh, my God!

1118
00:44:48.422 --> 00:44:53.427
Hey, babe! Babe!
Hi, babe! Hi.

1119
00:44:53.460 --> 00:44:55.896
Is she having some
sort of muscle spasm?

1120
00:44:55.930 --> 00:44:58.165
- Be nice.
- That's right.

1121
00:44:58.199 --> 00:44:59.833
- What can I get you?
- What?

1122
00:44:59.867 --> 00:45:01.368
No. Hello?

1123
00:45:01.735 --> 00:45:03.137
- Hi.
- Hi.

1124
00:45:03.170 --> 00:45:04.338
What can I get you?

1125
00:45:04.371 --> 00:45:07.509
These are my friends, babe,
my new friends.

1126
00:45:07.542 --> 00:45:10.110
Do you remember that
show <i>Parsippany-Troy Hills</i>

1127
00:45:10.144 --> 00:45:12.313
that I was, like,
totally obsessed with?

1128
00:45:12.346 --> 00:45:13.214
No.

1129
00:45:14.081 --> 00:45:16.083
You're so silly.

1130
00:45:16.116 --> 00:45:18.352
You're such a silly billy.
Of course you do.

1131
00:45:18.385 --> 00:45:20.721
Remember Hannah?
She's here.

1132
00:45:20.754 --> 00:45:22.624
I mean, isn't that wild?

1133
00:45:22.657 --> 00:45:24.024
Can you even?

1134
00:45:24.058 --> 00:45:26.460
- I can't even.
- I know, right?

1135
00:45:26.493 --> 00:45:28.462
It's crazy.

1136
00:45:29.897 --> 00:45:31.966
Anyway, I want to
buy them all a drink.

1137
00:45:31.999 --> 00:45:35.069
And by "buy," you mean you want me
to give it to you for free, right?

1138
00:45:37.805 --> 00:45:40.609
Oh, baby,
you're so funny.

1139
00:45:40.642 --> 00:45:43.678
Don't make me go all
medieval on your ass.

1140
00:45:45.479 --> 00:45:49.416
Baby. Honey? Baby.

1141
00:45:51.485 --> 00:45:53.220
He's very busy,

1142
00:45:53.254 --> 00:45:54.955
- but he'll be back.
- Yeah.

1143
00:45:54.989 --> 00:45:56.290
He always comes back.

1144
00:45:56.323 --> 00:45:59.026
- Always.
- It's a bar. He has to.

1145
00:45:59.059 --> 00:46:00.461
No. No, it's not an issue.

1146
00:46:00.494 --> 00:46:02.763
I should probably start
hydrating at this point anyway.

1147
00:46:02.796 --> 00:46:05.132
I'm not a big drinker, so.

1148
00:46:05.165 --> 00:46:07.801
You did not smash your phone
in a crime of passion.

1149
00:46:07.835 --> 00:46:09.336
No, no, no.
That's nonsense.

1150
00:46:09.370 --> 00:46:13.642
I'll get the girl bartender-ress.
She'll get us a drink.

1151
00:46:13.675 --> 00:46:15.309
Girl, girl.

1152
00:46:15.342 --> 00:46:16.611
Hi, girl.

1153
00:46:16.645 --> 00:46:19.514
Can we have four shots for me and my...
Oh, that's so perfect.

1154
00:46:19.547 --> 00:46:20.881
Thank you so much.

1155
00:46:20.914 --> 00:46:22.149
Thank you.

1156
00:46:22.182 --> 00:46:26.721
Oh, she recognized you.
We really should shift.

1157
00:46:26.755 --> 00:46:28.556
- Here you go.
- Okay.

1158
00:46:28.590 --> 00:46:32.527
- What should we cheers to?
- To friends.

1159
00:46:32.560 --> 00:46:36.997
To best friends,
Hannah and Blankton.

1160
00:46:37.031 --> 00:46:39.266
- It's Brooklyn.
- Right. Yeah, the blogger.

1161
00:46:39.300 --> 00:46:41.835
- Influencer.
- Okay, just cheers.

1162
00:46:42.704 --> 00:46:43.804
Cheers.

1163
00:46:45.640 --> 00:46:46.840
- Oh.
- Ugh!

1164
00:46:46.874 --> 00:46:47.841
Whoo!

1165
00:46:47.875 --> 00:46:48.942
What was that?

1166
00:46:48.976 --> 00:46:50.978
Oh, my God.
We have to take a picture.

1167
00:46:51.011 --> 00:46:52.547
- Was that...
- We need a photo.

1168
00:46:52.580 --> 00:46:55.949
- We look good.
- Good, is my poof okay?

1169
00:46:56.917 --> 00:46:57.818
Oh, my God!

1170
00:46:57.851 --> 00:46:59.688
I'm gonna caption
this one

1171
00:46:59.721 --> 00:47:03.558
"hashtag, that shot life."

1172
00:47:03.591 --> 00:47:06.327
But with the "Y"
but not an "I."

1173
00:47:06.360 --> 00:47:08.697
That's so chill!
Nobody's ever done that.

1174
00:47:08.730 --> 00:47:12.099
That's, like, the most
original thing I ever heard of.

1175
00:47:12.132 --> 00:47:14.736
- Um, do you have to pee?
- I do have to pee.

1176
00:47:14.769 --> 00:47:17.871
I have to pee so badly.
Do you guys have to pee?

1177
00:47:17.905 --> 00:47:20.040
- I'm good.
- We'll just wait here.

1178
00:47:20.074 --> 00:47:20.974
- Okay.
- Okay.

1179
00:47:21.008 --> 00:47:22.544
Cool.
I'll miss you so much.

1180
00:47:22.577 --> 00:47:24.579
- Bye.
- Bye.

1181
00:47:25.179 --> 00:47:26.815
Oh, my God, dude.

1182
00:47:26.847 --> 00:47:29.249
Those girls are
so fucking dumb.

1183
00:47:29.283 --> 00:47:32.019
I came here to be with you,
not these fucking children.

1184
00:47:32.052 --> 00:47:33.822
Oh, my God, stop.

1185
00:47:33.854 --> 00:47:35.255
What, are you jealous

1186
00:47:35.289 --> 00:47:37.991
that someone's actually giving me
attention for once instead of you?

1187
00:47:38.025 --> 00:47:43.531
No, that's not it. I just...
I don't get you sometimes.

1188
00:47:43.565 --> 00:47:46.867
You're the one who dragged me to
fucking San Diego in the first place.

1189
00:47:46.900 --> 00:47:49.771
Now you're mad that I actually
scored us some plans?

1190
00:47:49.804 --> 00:47:52.373
Like, I'm sorry that we didn't stay
to hang out with the drug dealers

1191
00:47:52.406 --> 00:47:56.243
or go on some yacht to hang out with
the cast of <i>Shit Dick: The Musical.</i>

1192
00:47:56.276 --> 00:47:58.011
You know what?
Whatever, Hannah.

1193
00:47:58.045 --> 00:48:00.648
Why don't you just run along with your
little butt buddies to the bathroom?

1194
00:48:00.682 --> 00:48:04.652
Maybe you could finger bang each other and
let them massage your massive ego some more.

1195
00:48:04.686 --> 00:48:06.420
Relieve your glory days!

1196
00:48:06.453 --> 00:48:08.922
You know what? Maybe I will.
Get it together.

1197
00:48:08.956 --> 00:48:10.525
You're being a fucking bitch.

1198
00:48:19.534 --> 00:48:23.137
- Can I buy you a drink?
- <i>Moi?</i>

1199
00:48:23.170 --> 00:48:24.972
No, that girl
right behind you.

1200
00:48:26.006 --> 00:48:28.041
Yeah, you.

1201
00:48:28.075 --> 00:48:31.111
I'm flattered, but I would feel kind of weird
'cause I just came here with your girlfriend.

1202
00:48:31.145 --> 00:48:32.913
- So...
- That's not my girlfriend.

1203
00:48:32.946 --> 00:48:36.016
She's just some crazy desperate
chick who keeps showing up here.

1204
00:48:36.049 --> 00:48:37.117
Occasionally we fuck.

1205
00:48:37.151 --> 00:48:39.453
Oh, you have
a real way with words.

1206
00:48:39.486 --> 00:48:42.022
Whatever. I'm honest.

1207
00:48:42.055 --> 00:48:45.560
These girls are annoying as
all hell and you think so, too.

1208
00:48:45.593 --> 00:48:48.429
- You don't know me.
- You want it or not.

1209
00:48:48.462 --> 00:48:51.666
Fine.
But nothing dark, please,

1210
00:48:51.699 --> 00:48:53.768
because I don't do well with
anything that's not clear.

1211
00:48:54.268 --> 00:48:55.837
Whiskey it is, then.

1212
00:48:55.870 --> 00:48:57.539
Oh, okay.

1213
00:49:04.178 --> 00:49:05.979
- Cheers.
- Cheers.

1214
00:49:10.150 --> 00:49:11.686
Ugh!

1215
00:49:15.557 --> 00:49:16.691
Oh.

1216
00:49:16.724 --> 00:49:18.492
And then he told me that
he liked my dog better than me

1217
00:49:18.526 --> 00:49:20.662
because my dog didn't talk.

1218
00:49:20.695 --> 00:49:23.665
- And I was like...
- They'll talk soon.

1219
00:49:28.168 --> 00:49:29.938
What the fuck are you doing?

1220
00:49:29.970 --> 00:49:32.105
- Just taking shots.
- Are you hitting on my man?

1221
00:49:32.139 --> 00:49:33.373
Ew! Absolutely not.

1222
00:49:33.407 --> 00:49:36.243
Yes, you are. I know when
you're hitting on my man

1223
00:49:36.276 --> 00:49:37.512
and you're hitting
on him now.

1224
00:49:37.545 --> 00:49:39.681
Trust me, I would never
hit on that guy.

1225
00:49:39.714 --> 00:49:42.449
Nobody hits on my man
and gets away with it.

1226
00:49:42.483 --> 00:49:44.485
- No, I'm sure she...
- No, don't get involved.

1227
00:49:44.519 --> 00:49:45.986
She put the last girl
in the hospital.

1228
00:49:46.019 --> 00:49:47.087
How many times
has this happened?

1229
00:49:47.120 --> 00:49:48.989
What are you
gonna do about it? Huh?

1230
00:49:49.022 --> 00:49:50.224
What you gonna do about it?

1231
00:49:50.257 --> 00:49:52.560
For starters, he's clearly
not your boyfriend.

1232
00:49:52.594 --> 00:49:55.195
He just said so.
Also, I think he's hideous.

1233
00:49:55.229 --> 00:49:56.263
I only date hot guys.

1234
00:49:56.296 --> 00:49:57.765
Oh, Jesus.
Here we go.

1235
00:49:57.799 --> 00:49:58.666
You bitch.

1236
00:50:00.100 --> 00:50:00.969
Oh!

1237
00:50:04.639 --> 00:50:07.374
You better run,
you big titty, cocky...

1238
00:50:07.407 --> 00:50:08.843
I'm going to call
the cops again.

1239
00:50:08.877 --> 00:50:11.646
You better. With your
hair and your teeth...

1240
00:50:11.679 --> 00:50:14.883
Go, go, go, go!
Holy shit!

1241
00:50:14.916 --> 00:50:18.018
...doesn't look
like a face anymore.

1242
00:50:18.051 --> 00:50:19.521
Why'd you have to
go and do that?

1243
00:50:19.554 --> 00:50:22.055
I... I'm sorry, dude.

1244
00:50:22.089 --> 00:50:24.391
Look, I didn't mean for you
to get punched in the face.

1245
00:50:24.424 --> 00:50:25.627
That girl was out of line.

1246
00:50:25.660 --> 00:50:27.294
You couldn't just let me
have more attention

1247
00:50:27.327 --> 00:50:29.263
than you for five fucking
seconds, could you?

1248
00:50:29.296 --> 00:50:31.365
You had to go and make
a goddamn scene.

1249
00:50:31.398 --> 00:50:34.067
I'm sorry, okay?

1250
00:50:34.101 --> 00:50:37.539
Look, to be fair, you took it like a champ.
Like Ronda Rousey.

1251
00:50:37.572 --> 00:50:39.373
Except you didn't even
get knocked out.

1252
00:50:39.807 --> 00:50:41.408
Thanks, I guess.

1253
00:50:41.441 --> 00:50:45.279
Let me see you. All right.
It's not even that red yet.

1254
00:50:45.312 --> 00:50:46.681
So there's that.

1255
00:50:46.714 --> 00:50:49.082
Well, I feel like I just got
hit with a Mack truck.

1256
00:50:49.116 --> 00:50:51.118
Hey, look,
there's a pedicab.

1257
00:50:51.151 --> 00:50:52.954
Let's just take it
back to the hotel,

1258
00:50:52.987 --> 00:50:56.456
have a couple beers from the
minibar, assuming there is a minibar.

1259
00:50:56.490 --> 00:51:00.327
Otherwise, we'll just have more of
Borat's leftover champagne from the lobby.

1260
00:51:00.360 --> 00:51:02.396
- Taxi!
- Taxi?

1261
00:51:02.429 --> 00:51:04.231
It's better than
yelling "pedi."

1262
00:51:04.264 --> 00:51:07.735
I'm only agreeing to this
because my face and my feet hurt.

1263
00:51:07.769 --> 00:51:10.437
You know, I hate pedicabs.
Are they even legal anymore?

1264
00:51:10.470 --> 00:51:12.674
Don't be such a pussy.

1265
00:51:12.707 --> 00:51:14.374
Oh, God.

1266
00:51:14.408 --> 00:51:17.612
- Hi.
- Hey, where you wanna go?

1267
00:51:17.645 --> 00:51:21.916
We are going to
the Golden West or whatever.

1268
00:51:21.950 --> 00:51:26.286
All right, just relax,
and we'll get you there soon.

1269
00:51:26.320 --> 00:51:29.023
So how long
you've been a pedo?

1270
00:51:29.057 --> 00:51:31.960
That is a very funny joke,
you terrible bitch.

1271
00:51:36.096 --> 00:51:37.966
<i>♪ Yeah,
it's Brooklyn and Hannah</i>

1272
00:51:37.999 --> 00:51:40.334
<i>♪ Bang like a hammer
Who they dressing up, glamour</i>

1273
00:51:40.367 --> 00:51:41.869
<i>♪ Take pics for the camera</i>

1274
00:51:41.903 --> 00:51:44.104
<i>♪ All night stamina
Let me go examine ya</i>

1275
00:51:44.137 --> 00:51:46.975
<i>♪ I know you heard about me
from Diego back to Canada</i>

1276
00:51:47.008 --> 00:51:49.276
<i>♪ I'mma grab a drink
Better yet, I'm double fistin'</i>

1277
00:51:49.309 --> 00:51:51.879
<i>♪ All these people slide
into my DMs and my mentions</i>

1278
00:51:51.913 --> 00:51:54.314
<i>♪ I ain't push the RAV
This cab ain't got no engine</i>

1279
00:51:54.348 --> 00:51:56.718
<i>♪ But we still get attention
Wait till you see my entrance</i>

1280
00:51:56.751 --> 00:51:58.820
<i>♪ Whoa!
Spray tan with the glow</i>

1281
00:51:58.853 --> 00:52:01.355
<i>♪ Shit came out a little dark
but we can go with the flow</i>

1282
00:52:01.388 --> 00:52:03.858
<i>♪ My ex is blowing up my phone
I wish they'd leave me alone</i>

1283
00:52:03.891 --> 00:52:06.326
<i>♪ I'll have another drink so
I can get the fuck in the zone</i>

1284
00:52:06.360 --> 00:52:09.396
<i>♪ Stuck in the zone Pause
every time that she calls ♪</i>

1285
00:52:25.513 --> 00:52:28.215
No, this isn't right.
This isn't the right place.

1286
00:52:28.248 --> 00:52:30.350
You said Golden West.
I brought you the Golden West.

1287
00:52:30.384 --> 00:52:34.922
I think it's the wrong one.
I don't see the janky lights.

1288
00:52:34.956 --> 00:52:37.491
Well, I don't know.
You asked me to bring you to Golden West,

1289
00:52:37.525 --> 00:52:38.893
so here we are.

1290
00:52:38.926 --> 00:52:41.495
We'll just call an Uber
when I charge my phone.

1291
00:52:41.529 --> 00:52:43.163
All right. 50 bucks.

1292
00:52:43.196 --> 00:52:44.932
- 50?
- Yeah.

1293
00:52:44.966 --> 00:52:47.535
Fine.
Fuck it. Give him the money.

1294
00:52:47.568 --> 00:52:49.202
Well, it's in the bag.

1295
00:52:49.236 --> 00:52:50.905
I gave you the back, right?

1296
00:52:50.938 --> 00:52:52.907
Yes, Brooklyn. I magically
grabbed the bag

1297
00:52:52.940 --> 00:52:56.611
after I got fucking
pummeled in the face.

1298
00:52:56.644 --> 00:53:02.784
Um, here's one dollar,
two dollars, three dollars.

1299
00:53:02.817 --> 00:53:05.285
You know what?
Here's six dollars.

1300
00:53:05.318 --> 00:53:07.454
Keep the imaginary change.

1301
00:53:07.487 --> 00:53:09.057
Put that shit away.

1302
00:53:09.090 --> 00:53:12.492
You give me $50 right now
or I'm calling the cops.

1303
00:53:12.527 --> 00:53:15.328
Why is everyone so quick
to call the fuzz here?

1304
00:53:15.362 --> 00:53:17.899
Look, sir, we left
our bag at the bar.

1305
00:53:17.932 --> 00:53:20.500
- If you just turn it around, I'm sure we'll find it.
- Yeah.

1306
00:53:20.535 --> 00:53:26.908
Listen, you stupid drunk and stupid
drunk girls, give me my money

1307
00:53:26.941 --> 00:53:28.576
or you're going
to jail right now.

1308
00:53:28.609 --> 00:53:31.179
Relax, Hannah.
He's not gonna call the cops.

1309
00:53:31.211 --> 00:53:32.980
He doesn't have the balls.

1310
00:53:36.684 --> 00:53:39.787
I can't believe Christian
doesn't like me.

1311
00:53:39.821 --> 00:53:40.688
Like...

1312
00:53:41.723 --> 00:53:44.692
I wasn't expecting
that at all.

1313
00:53:44.726 --> 00:53:46.627
What kind of guy
invites you somewhere

1314
00:53:46.661 --> 00:53:49.897
and then doesn't at least
give you a courtesy fuck?

1315
00:53:50.497 --> 00:53:52.332
Men are so mean.

1316
00:53:52.365 --> 00:53:54.501
Men could be
such assholes.

1317
00:53:54.535 --> 00:53:56.436
Because of my looks?

1318
00:53:56.470 --> 00:53:59.507
I can't imagine that
it would be, but is it?

1319
00:53:59.540 --> 00:54:02.643
I bought this outfit
two hours before we left.

1320
00:54:02.677 --> 00:54:03.978
Should I have worn
the purple pumps?

1321
00:54:04.011 --> 00:54:06.714
Shut the fuck up, Brooklyn.
We're in prison.

1322
00:54:06.748 --> 00:54:08.549
I've never been
in prison before.

1323
00:54:08.583 --> 00:54:11.284
I don't even know how
this process works. Jesus!

1324
00:54:12.385 --> 00:54:13.921
Oh, what's happening?

1325
00:54:13.955 --> 00:54:15.757
- Are we being booked?
- No.

1326
00:54:15.790 --> 00:54:20.260
That petty cab driver was wanted all over
town for selling counterfeit Prosecco.

1327
00:54:20.293 --> 00:54:23.197
Turns out it was carbonated
formaldehyde or something.

1328
00:54:23.231 --> 00:54:26.667
We've taken him into custody.
You're free to go.

1329
00:54:28.936 --> 00:54:30.738
Oh, thank God.

1330
00:54:40.480 --> 00:54:42.150
Thank you.

1331
00:54:42.183 --> 00:54:44.619
Do you mind if I charge my phone
for a minute so we could get a ride?

1332
00:54:44.652 --> 00:54:46.087
Sure.

1333
00:54:47.387 --> 00:54:50.691
- Um, that outlet doesn't actually work.
- Oh, good.

1334
00:54:50.725 --> 00:54:53.227
But I could charge it for you
at my desk for a second.

1335
00:54:53.261 --> 00:54:55.730
Would you look at that.
Not all heroes wear capes.

1336
00:54:55.763 --> 00:54:57.832
It sounds like you ladies
have had quite the night.

1337
00:54:57.865 --> 00:54:59.834
We're visiting from LA.

1338
00:54:59.867 --> 00:55:01.769
That's a pretty thick accent
for a California girl.

1339
00:55:01.803 --> 00:55:05.807
Oh. She's originally from Jersey,
and I'm from New York. We just moved here.

1340
00:55:05.840 --> 00:55:07.307
Where are we right now?

1341
00:55:07.340 --> 00:55:08.543
We're in Encinitas.

1342
00:55:08.576 --> 00:55:10.077
It's right outside
of San Diego.

1343
00:55:10.111 --> 00:55:13.114
Brooklyn, doesn't Gordo
live in Encinitas?

1344
00:55:13.147 --> 00:55:14.481
- Gordo?
- Yeah.

1345
00:55:14.515 --> 00:55:17.618
That raver kid we met at Sidney's
house party years ago in SoHo.

1346
00:55:17.652 --> 00:55:19.720
He DMed you on Facebook
all the time, right?

1347
00:55:19.754 --> 00:55:22.056
Shit, you're right!
Why didn't I think of that?

1348
00:55:22.089 --> 00:55:24.457
Ah, I should hit you
in the head more often.

1349
00:55:24.491 --> 00:55:25.458
Inside joke.

1350
00:55:25.492 --> 00:55:27.528
I'm going
text him right now.

1351
00:55:27.562 --> 00:55:29.329
Yeah, I mean,
worth a shot, right?

1352
00:55:29.362 --> 00:55:32.567
Hopefully we can make one more stop
before we head back to our actual hotel.

1353
00:55:32.600 --> 00:55:34.501
Totally.

1354
00:55:34.535 --> 00:55:36.204
Oh, that was quick.
He said, come over.

1355
00:55:36.237 --> 00:55:38.940
Sweet. Maybe we will
actually have some fun.

1356
00:55:38.973 --> 00:55:41.709
Yeah! They're probably
raging right now.

1357
00:55:41.742 --> 00:55:44.377
Hey, if you want,
I can give you both a ride.

1358
00:55:44.411 --> 00:55:45.980
Oh.

1359
00:55:47.882 --> 00:55:50.585
Well, never ridden
in a cop car before.

1360
00:55:50.618 --> 00:55:53.988
Well, hopefully there's a first
and a last time for everything.

1361
00:55:54.454 --> 00:55:55.957
Where are we?

1362
00:55:55.990 --> 00:55:58.391
Fuck if I know.
This place is weird.

1363
00:55:58.425 --> 00:55:59.994
Are you sure this is right?

1364
00:56:00.027 --> 00:56:02.495
According
to Google Maps, it is.

1365
00:56:02.530 --> 00:56:04.866
I was expecting
more of a techno-y vibe.

1366
00:56:04.899 --> 00:56:07.101
Wait, are they meditating?

1367
00:56:07.134 --> 00:56:10.238
Okay, I'm really gonna need
this dose of rough first.

1368
00:56:10.271 --> 00:56:11.772
Hey, where'd you get that?

1369
00:56:11.806 --> 00:56:13.274
I stole it
from the police station.

1370
00:56:13.307 --> 00:56:15.109
Oh, great. Petty larceny
from the police station.

1371
00:56:15.142 --> 00:56:17.812
Hashtag, great choices, Hannah.

1372
00:56:20.581 --> 00:56:23.050
Hannah. Brooklyn.

1373
00:56:23.084 --> 00:56:26.520
Wow. It is so good
to see you guys.

1374
00:56:26.554 --> 00:56:27.922
- Hi.
- Hey.

1375
00:56:27.955 --> 00:56:29.857
Shh! Got to keep our
volume down, though,

1376
00:56:29.891 --> 00:56:34.862
because if you look here, we're having
our nightly moon phase meditation.

1377
00:56:34.896 --> 00:56:37.899
You know, that's much better.
Thank you. Come here.

1378
00:56:37.932 --> 00:56:40.234
- You guys just...
- Oh, okay.

1379
00:56:40.268 --> 00:56:42.069
You guys just look un...

1380
00:56:42.103 --> 00:56:45.373
believable.
Flowers for the fortunate.

1381
00:56:45.405 --> 00:56:47.241
- Oh, for me?
- For you.

1382
00:56:47.275 --> 00:56:51.045
- Lemme see your hand.
- Ah! Spikes.

1383
00:56:52.513 --> 00:56:54.081
What the fuck?

1384
00:57:09.263 --> 00:57:12.733
I'm so sorry.

1385
00:57:13.601 --> 00:57:16.771
Oh, okay. All right.

1386
00:57:18.572 --> 00:57:21.042
- It's all love. You feel?
- Yeah.

1387
00:57:21.075 --> 00:57:22.076
Captain.

1388
00:57:22.109 --> 00:57:24.612
I want you to lead
the moon mass, <i>mon frere.</i>

1389
00:57:24.645 --> 00:57:27.248
This is our
revolutionary coach.

1390
00:57:27.281 --> 00:57:28.448
Also a roommate.

1391
00:57:29.283 --> 00:57:31.986
- Duality, right?
- Yeah.

1392
00:57:32.019 --> 00:57:33.154
Duality.

1393
00:57:42.663 --> 00:57:44.165
Ooh, boobies.

1394
00:57:44.198 --> 00:57:46.434
Oh, no, no, no.
We don't touch him.

1395
00:57:46.466 --> 00:57:52.106
No, thank you so much. Yeah,
that is the sacred sanctum of our home.

1396
00:57:52.139 --> 00:57:55.443
Captain's nipple god.
You heard of it?

1397
00:57:55.475 --> 00:57:57.545
- Nipple god?
- Yeah.

1398
00:57:58.145 --> 00:57:59.213
Nipple god.

1399
00:57:59.246 --> 00:58:01.615
It's kind of like the mascot
here, you would say.

1400
00:58:01.649 --> 00:58:06.554
Whenever we have any issues,
we just walk up to it and just stare.

1401
00:58:09.724 --> 00:58:13.928
Yeah, I mean, it's funny.
He's always got the answers.

1402
00:58:13.961 --> 00:58:15.830
He encourages
conscious calamity.

1403
00:58:15.863 --> 00:58:19.467
- Calamity?
- Yeah, like calmness.

1404
00:58:19.499 --> 00:58:20.701
That's what it means.

1405
00:58:20.735 --> 00:58:22.636
Doesn't calamity
mean disaster?

1406
00:58:22.670 --> 00:58:23.804
- Yes, it does.
- Okay.

1407
00:58:23.838 --> 00:58:27.641
Girls, I would like
to welcome you

1408
00:58:27.675 --> 00:58:29.210
to the mystical mansion.

1409
00:58:29.243 --> 00:58:31.979
Some of us call it
the productive palace

1410
00:58:32.013 --> 00:58:34.348
or the spiritual sanctum.

1411
00:58:34.382 --> 00:58:38.719
It's really,
I don't want to say radical,

1412
00:58:38.753 --> 00:58:40.688
but I do want
to say radical.

1413
00:58:40.721 --> 00:58:44.725
It feels like a really elevated
experience being here with you.

1414
00:58:44.759 --> 00:58:47.528
So thanks for having us.
Cheers.

1415
00:58:49.330 --> 00:58:50.564
No, no, no.

1416
00:58:51.465 --> 00:58:52.533
Give me.

1417
00:58:53.901 --> 00:58:56.804
We don't do this here.
This is way off brand.

1418
00:58:56.837 --> 00:58:59.373
This is negative energy.

1419
00:58:59.407 --> 00:59:00.474
No wings here.

1420
00:59:00.509 --> 00:59:05.579
What we do do is SGC,
Spiritual Gangster Coffee.

1421
00:59:05.613 --> 00:59:07.181
You feel me?

1422
00:59:07.214 --> 00:59:09.150
Try some of that.
That's what we drink here in the house.

1423
00:59:09.183 --> 00:59:11.018
Well, that
and, uh, nature's miracle.

1424
00:59:11.619 --> 00:59:13.522
- GHB?
- Urine?

1425
00:59:13.554 --> 00:59:15.189
- Water.
- Oh, of course.

1426
00:59:16.657 --> 00:59:19.160
Um, what's "ghee"?

1427
00:59:19.193 --> 00:59:20.928
I don't wanna ask
these people anything

1428
00:59:20.961 --> 00:59:22.430
'cause I'm pretty sure
this is a cult.

1429
00:59:22.997 --> 00:59:24.432
A friendly cult.

1430
00:59:24.465 --> 00:59:28.369
I got to say, I was very
surprised to hear from you both.

1431
00:59:29.437 --> 00:59:31.439
But you look good.

1432
00:59:31.472 --> 00:59:33.874
- Been a long time.
- It has.

1433
00:59:33.908 --> 00:59:37.178
- And you've changed quite a bit.
- Bit 'n about.

1434
00:59:39.847 --> 00:59:41.115
Is there dairy in this?

1435
00:59:41.148 --> 00:59:47.188
I was once like this cone,
you know, little prickly,

1436
00:59:47.221 --> 00:59:50.024
not much going on, circular.

1437
00:59:50.057 --> 00:59:54.295
But then I came here, and I just had
my surfboard and some good vibes.

1438
00:59:54.328 --> 00:59:55.262
You feel?

1439
00:59:55.296 --> 00:59:58.165
Met some like-hearted heroes
along the way.

1440
00:59:58.199 --> 01:00:02.503
I don't really want to say heroes,
but I do want to say heroes.

1441
01:00:02.537 --> 01:00:06.941
And we found this place,
my harmonious home.

1442
01:00:06.974 --> 01:00:10.344
It's been a dream. My dream.
You know what I mean?

1443
01:00:12.246 --> 01:00:17.718
Wow. I'm totally going to use
that in my next freestyle.

1444
01:00:17.751 --> 01:00:22.223
Dream, mean?

1445
01:00:22.256 --> 01:00:27.128
Oh, man, I was so lost when you
guys knew me before, you know?

1446
01:00:27.161 --> 01:00:30.231
So, I bet this comes across
as a bit of a shock,

1447
01:00:30.264 --> 01:00:34.235
but, uh, I'm much more
spiritually grounded right now.

1448
01:00:34.835 --> 01:00:37.304
Yeah, we sense that.

1449
01:00:37.338 --> 01:00:42.109
You know, Brooklyn has actually
been very spiritual lately.

1450
01:00:42.143 --> 01:00:44.311
You two should totally chat.

1451
01:00:44.345 --> 01:00:47.715
You've been very
spiritual, Brooklyn?

1452
01:00:49.083 --> 01:00:52.453
I totally felt that.
Look at those vibes.

1453
01:00:52.486 --> 01:00:54.688
Yeah, that is fantastic.

1454
01:00:54.722 --> 01:00:58.527
That spirituality is in there,
isn't it?

1455
01:00:58.560 --> 01:01:01.962
Body contact is
fully encouraged, girls.

1456
01:01:01.996 --> 01:01:05.733
Don't touch the nip. Just give it a
stare if you need something, all right?

1457
01:01:05.766 --> 01:01:07.868
My bad.

1458
01:01:07.902 --> 01:01:09.803
What's that
dick-looking thing?

1459
01:01:09.837 --> 01:01:12.641
- The dick.
- Behind you.

1460
01:01:12.673 --> 01:01:15.342
Oh, that's my didgeridoo.

1461
01:01:15.376 --> 01:01:16.443
Didgeri-what?

1462
01:01:17.512 --> 01:01:20.582
It's from Austria-lia.

1463
01:01:20.615 --> 01:01:24.285
It's an instrument, you know?
Native to the Origi-namis peoples.

1464
01:01:24.318 --> 01:01:26.220
Picked it up in my travels.

1465
01:01:26.253 --> 01:01:29.156
Oh, well, that's cool.
You went to Australia?

1466
01:01:29.190 --> 01:01:31.660
I did not.
I went to Cracker Barrel.

1467
01:01:31.725 --> 01:01:35.262
But it was in New Milford, Connecticut,
and they had some sweet deals there, so.

1468
01:01:35.296 --> 01:01:39.233
And I hear the wood
is from New Zealand,

1469
01:01:39.266 --> 01:01:42.169
which is like
a second Austria-lia.

1470
01:01:42.203 --> 01:01:45.072
- No, that's incorrect.
- Hannah.

1471
01:01:46.407 --> 01:01:48.342
Why don't you
give it a blow?

1472
01:01:48.842 --> 01:01:49.743
In here.

1473
01:01:49.777 --> 01:01:51.045
Yeah. Come close.

1474
01:01:53.314 --> 01:01:55.550
Blow harder.

1475
01:01:58.018 --> 01:01:59.153
You look ridiculous.

1476
01:01:59.186 --> 01:02:00.254
And that's what she says.

1477
01:02:00.287 --> 01:02:03.692
Yeah, it's like
a fiery flow state, man.

1478
01:02:03.724 --> 01:02:05.759
That is just awesome.

1479
01:02:07.962 --> 01:02:11.298
I must look retarded. I've never
played one of these things before.

1480
01:02:11.332 --> 01:02:12.399
I'm sorry.

1481
01:02:12.433 --> 01:02:14.134
Whoa.

1482
01:02:15.469 --> 01:02:16.337
Nope.

1483
01:02:17.037 --> 01:02:18.339
Did I say something wrong?

1484
01:02:18.372 --> 01:02:20.441
Was it because I said
the word retarded?

1485
01:02:20.474 --> 01:02:22.644
No. Oh, I'm sorry.

1486
01:02:24.579 --> 01:02:26.380
Listen...

1487
01:02:27.649 --> 01:02:31.118
We, uh, we don't...

1488
01:02:32.286 --> 01:02:34.522
We don't apologize here.

1489
01:02:35.189 --> 01:02:37.258
We don't say "I'm sorry."

1490
01:02:37.958 --> 01:02:39.893
But "retarded" is okay?

1491
01:02:39.927 --> 01:02:44.498
Re... No, we don't like to put
ourselves down, you know?

1492
01:02:44.532 --> 01:02:47.602
In fact, whenever
somebody says, "I'm sorry,"

1493
01:02:47.636 --> 01:02:51.272
we like to follow it up
with the phrase, "I'm sexy."

1494
01:02:51.939 --> 01:02:54.908
So, I'm sexy.

1495
01:02:54.942 --> 01:02:57.144
So you know what that means?

1496
01:02:57.177 --> 01:03:00.814
- I'm not sorry.
- Try again.

1497
01:03:00.848 --> 01:03:03.183
I'm not sorry,
I'm sexy.

1498
01:03:03.217 --> 01:03:07.221
Or is it supposed to be,
"I'm sexy? I'm not sorry."

1499
01:03:07.254 --> 01:03:09.323
I think you're supposed to say
I'm sexy, Hannah.

1500
01:03:09.356 --> 01:03:12.761
Yeah,
she totally gets it. Sexy.

1501
01:03:13.994 --> 01:03:15.162
I'm sexy.

1502
01:03:15.195 --> 01:03:16.564
There you go.

1503
01:03:16.598 --> 01:03:18.700
Now say it again
with a little more meaning.

1504
01:03:19.400 --> 01:03:20.100
I'm sexy!

1505
01:03:20.134 --> 01:03:21.335
I'm sexy.

1506
01:03:21.368 --> 01:03:24.305
- Didn't that feel good?
- Eh, yeah.

1507
01:03:24.338 --> 01:03:25.607
Where's your bathroom?

1508
01:03:25.640 --> 01:03:27.141
Ah, the "washroom,"

1509
01:03:27.174 --> 01:03:29.209
- as they say in good old Canada...
- Hurry!

1510
01:03:29.243 --> 01:03:31.613
...is down the hallway
to the left.

1511
01:03:31.646 --> 01:03:33.213
Hah!

1512
01:03:33.447 --> 01:03:34.214
Ooh.

1513
01:03:34.248 --> 01:03:38.252
I'm sorry. Or I'm sexy.

1514
01:03:38.285 --> 01:03:41.523
You know, Canada is
a really spiritual place.

1515
01:03:41.556 --> 01:03:44.759
I planned on doing
Ayahuasca there this summer.

1516
01:03:45.359 --> 01:03:47.562
It's a third Australia.

1517
01:03:49.396 --> 01:03:53.200
My shaman says that doing
hallucinogens in places

1518
01:03:53.233 --> 01:03:55.502
you've never been
is a great idea.

1519
01:03:55.537 --> 01:03:57.572
Yeah, that sounds
really smart.

1520
01:03:57.605 --> 01:04:01.208
- Shamans are smart. Yeah.
- Mmm. Mmm.

1521
01:04:02.009 --> 01:04:03.745
You should do it sometime.

1522
01:04:03.778 --> 01:04:07.981
Yeah, I feel like I've done a lot of
work to repress any negative emotions,

1523
01:04:08.015 --> 01:04:12.721
so it's probably not for me,
but totally admire your passion.

1524
01:04:13.588 --> 01:04:16.658
- Cha.
- Yeah.

1525
01:04:17.224 --> 01:04:21.529
- Cha.
- Yeah.

1526
01:04:21.563 --> 01:04:23.330
You know what
I like about this place

1527
01:04:23.364 --> 01:04:25.600
better than the Big Apple?

1528
01:04:27.468 --> 01:04:29.503
You can see
the stars at night.

1529
01:04:31.138 --> 01:04:32.373
Should we go look?

1530
01:04:33.742 --> 01:04:35.175
Just watch your step.

1531
01:04:35.209 --> 01:04:38.312
We've got a lot of stone-age
going on around here.

1532
01:04:38.345 --> 01:04:41.248
We've got our
little dipping ponds,

1533
01:04:41.281 --> 01:04:44.184
and then we've got
our bigger dipping pond.

1534
01:04:44.218 --> 01:04:46.821
It's pretty wet in there,
I'll tell you that.

1535
01:04:46.855 --> 01:04:48.422
All right, come on in.

1536
01:04:48.455 --> 01:04:50.558
Here it is, our Zen Zone.

1537
01:04:50.592 --> 01:04:54.361
- Oh, okay.
- It's like double Z, Zen Zone right here.

1538
01:04:54.395 --> 01:04:55.730
Okay.

1539
01:04:56.930 --> 01:05:00.033
They're dancing tonight.

1540
01:05:00.067 --> 01:05:01.368
There she is.

1541
01:05:01.402 --> 01:05:04.271
Mrs. Dipper.
It's the biggest Dipper.

1542
01:05:05.305 --> 01:05:08.242
Um, I can't really see it.

1543
01:05:08.275 --> 01:05:10.177
It's pretty cloudy.

1544
01:05:10.210 --> 01:05:14.214
Yeah, but if you
imagine it... it's there.

1545
01:05:15.683 --> 01:05:17.886
Like pow... There it is.

1546
01:05:20.655 --> 01:05:22.724
Sure. Okay.

1547
01:05:26.293 --> 01:05:27.629
Whoa, whoa, whoa!

1548
01:05:27.662 --> 01:05:30.397
Has the nipple guy
taught you nothing, sir?

1549
01:05:30.431 --> 01:05:33.934
Relax. I'm just feeling
your heart chakra.

1550
01:05:34.869 --> 01:05:36.503
It's speaking to me.

1551
01:05:37.337 --> 01:05:40.407
Wow. She's really
verbal tonight.

1552
01:05:40.441 --> 01:05:41.776
She's telling me that

1553
01:05:41.810 --> 01:05:44.579
there's a little bit of
heartbreak in your love life.

1554
01:05:46.815 --> 01:05:48.315
Yeah, it just feels like

1555
01:05:48.348 --> 01:05:51.920
you're cupping my boob
and very tenderly.

1556
01:05:51.952 --> 01:05:53.353
Okay.

1557
01:05:53.788 --> 01:05:55.322
I'm sexy.

1558
01:06:00.994 --> 01:06:02.597
Spiritual, my asshole!

1559
01:06:02.630 --> 01:06:04.599
What kind of person tries to
make you comfortable

1560
01:06:04.632 --> 01:06:07.034
and then jumps on top of you?

1561
01:06:07.067 --> 01:06:08.502
A horny person.

1562
01:06:09.369 --> 01:06:10.772
There you are.

1563
01:06:10.805 --> 01:06:13.675
I googled what "ghee" is,
and it's basically butter.

1564
01:06:13.708 --> 01:06:16.443
I'm not well.
I'm not well at all!

1565
01:06:16.477 --> 01:06:18.312
We need to leave,
like, right now.

1566
01:06:18.345 --> 01:06:20.280
- What? All right.
- Come on, come on.

1567
01:06:20.314 --> 01:06:24.819
Come back. I...
I finally got hard.

1568
01:06:24.853 --> 01:06:27.354
I don't know why we
couldn't have just stayed there.

1569
01:06:27.387 --> 01:06:29.657
I would have slept
on the floor with my ghee gas.

1570
01:06:29.691 --> 01:06:32.259
That's sure to plant
some positive vibes everywhere.

1571
01:06:32.292 --> 01:06:33.327
What do you mean?

1572
01:06:33.360 --> 01:06:35.062
The guy fucking touched
my left tit.

1573
01:06:35.095 --> 01:06:36.731
Do you know how
inappropriate that is?

1574
01:06:36.764 --> 01:06:37.532
Right. I get it.

1575
01:06:37.565 --> 01:06:38.800
But we don't have
a place to stay.

1576
01:06:38.833 --> 01:06:40.735
We don't have money.
We don't have the RAV4 keys.

1577
01:06:40.768 --> 01:06:42.302
And my phone's about to die,
Hannah.

1578
01:06:42.336 --> 01:06:43.805
Should I go back
and ask for a charge?

1579
01:06:43.838 --> 01:06:45.507
This is all your fault.

1580
01:06:45.540 --> 01:06:46.641
If you hadn't gotten
into a fight

1581
01:06:46.674 --> 01:06:48.075
with those two girls
back at the bar,

1582
01:06:48.108 --> 01:06:49.376
we'd still have the backpack,

1583
01:06:49.409 --> 01:06:51.813
and we'd be sleeping
at Chateau Molesto right now.

1584
01:06:51.846 --> 01:06:53.848
Your Jersey groupies?

1585
01:06:54.616 --> 01:06:56.216
Okay. I see what this is about.

1586
01:06:56.250 --> 01:06:59.353
It was really nice to receive some
love and affection from someone

1587
01:06:59.386 --> 01:07:01.021
since you don't get any
from your boyfriend.

1588
01:07:01.054 --> 01:07:03.490
Like, when was the last time
you even had sex, Hannah?

1589
01:07:03.525 --> 01:07:05.158
You're always giving blowjobs.

1590
01:07:05.192 --> 01:07:06.260
I'm surprised
you were offended

1591
01:07:06.293 --> 01:07:07.327
some guy touched your boob.

1592
01:07:07.361 --> 01:07:09.731
I give blowjobs
because I like them.

1593
01:07:09.764 --> 01:07:11.064
You give blowjobs

1594
01:07:11.098 --> 01:07:13.601
because it's the only validation
you get in your relationship.

1595
01:07:13.635 --> 01:07:15.837
You're a professional cuddler,
for Christ's sake!

1596
01:07:15.870 --> 01:07:17.437
The only people
you can get in your bed

1597
01:07:17.471 --> 01:07:19.339
are the ones that are
paying you for attention

1598
01:07:19.373 --> 01:07:22.309
- because you are a...
- I'm a what?

1599
01:07:22.342 --> 01:07:23.778
See, I knew you wouldn't
stick up for yourself

1600
01:07:23.811 --> 01:07:26.748
unless you're on your stupid
fucking reality TV show, Hannah.

1601
01:07:26.781 --> 01:07:29.584
So say it. Say it!
I'm a what?

1602
01:07:29.617 --> 01:07:32.052
Oh, are you waiting for someone
to cut to commercial break?

1603
01:07:32.085 --> 01:07:33.521
You're a fucking bitch.

1604
01:07:33.555 --> 01:07:36.356
Fuck, Hannah!

1605
01:07:36.958 --> 01:07:38.325
My fucking face!

1606
01:07:38.358 --> 01:07:40.160
I'm not gonna be able
to post now...

1607
01:07:47.835 --> 01:07:49.102
Ah!

1608
01:07:50.905 --> 01:07:52.306
I fucking hate you!

1609
01:07:52.339 --> 01:07:53.808
Fuck you!

1610
01:07:53.841 --> 01:07:54.909
God!

1611
01:07:54.943 --> 01:07:56.978
That's it. I'm done.

1612
01:07:57.011 --> 01:07:58.445
I am out of here.

1613
01:07:58.478 --> 01:08:00.715
No. No, I'm done.

1614
01:08:00.748 --> 01:08:04.318
I am done with you and this
stupid fake friendship.

1615
01:08:04.351 --> 01:08:06.486
You are so selfish.
And you know what?

1616
01:08:06.521 --> 01:08:08.322
I know you made me
look bad

1617
01:08:08.355 --> 01:08:10.123
in that beach picture
on purpose.

1618
01:08:10.157 --> 01:08:12.192
A real friend
wouldn't do that.

1619
01:08:12.225 --> 01:08:14.963
You know what?
Go. Call Damon.

1620
01:08:14.996 --> 01:08:18.566
Well, I would,
but I don't have a phone anymore.

1621
01:08:18.600 --> 01:08:20.100
And maybe you could
keep up with me

1622
01:08:20.133 --> 01:08:22.604
if you went on any of those
hikes you've been blabbing about.

1623
01:08:22.637 --> 01:08:25.974
Good luck in the streets
without a phone, bitch!

1624
01:08:26.007 --> 01:08:27.609
Give a couple of blowjobs,

1625
01:08:27.642 --> 01:08:30.377
and maybe someone will
give you a phone for free.

1626
01:08:30.410 --> 01:08:32.914
Well, at least I have
a boyfriend to call.

1627
01:08:32.947 --> 01:08:35.282
For somebody who pretends to
be such a slut all the time,

1628
01:08:35.315 --> 01:08:36.684
nobody even wants
to touch you

1629
01:08:36.718 --> 01:08:38.251
unless they're
mentally deranged

1630
01:08:38.285 --> 01:08:39.654
or pays for it.

1631
01:08:40.354 --> 01:08:41.421
Ball licker!

1632
01:08:42.155 --> 01:08:44.959
- Pussy licker.
- What? No.

1633
01:08:44.993 --> 01:08:45.893
You know what?

1634
01:08:45.927 --> 01:08:48.596
You were always
the fucking Tonya.

1635
01:08:48.630 --> 01:08:50.531
Always jealous
of my success,

1636
01:08:50.565 --> 01:08:52.100
fucking trailer trash.

1637
01:08:52.132 --> 01:08:55.202
I'm a Nancy, motherfucker.

1638
01:08:55.235 --> 01:08:56.503
I'm the classy one.

1639
01:08:56.537 --> 01:08:59.774
Oh, yeah. You're a real
"class act," Brooklyn.

1640
01:08:59.807 --> 01:09:01.743
And by the way,
Tonya's story was

1641
01:09:01.776 --> 01:09:04.045
completely misrepresented
in the media.

1642
01:09:04.078 --> 01:09:06.547
"Fake news." Ugh!

1643
01:09:06.581 --> 01:09:07.849
Fucking bitch!

1644
01:09:27.769 --> 01:09:29.704
Oh!

1645
01:09:29.737 --> 01:09:31.438
Thank God!

1646
01:09:33.908 --> 01:09:35.777
You know, if you ladies
want to stay

1647
01:09:35.810 --> 01:09:37.578
and just drink with me
in the back,

1648
01:09:37.612 --> 01:09:40.915
I got some more... got some
harder stuff in there.

1649
01:09:40.948 --> 01:09:42.482
- That's okay.
- Couple of couches back there.

1650
01:09:42.517 --> 01:09:45.753
And you know, I can get into the
diner, get some of the food.

1651
01:09:45.787 --> 01:09:46.654
You sure?

1652
01:09:46.688 --> 01:09:49.057
Thank you so very much,
kind sir.

1653
01:09:53.326 --> 01:09:55.195
ID, please.

1654
01:09:55.228 --> 01:09:57.799
You gotta be shitting me.

1655
01:09:59.033 --> 01:10:01.669
But you didn't ID them.
They're like 12.

1656
01:10:01.703 --> 01:10:03.538
You tellin' me
how to do my job?

1657
01:10:03.871 --> 01:10:04.772
No.

1658
01:10:04.806 --> 01:10:05.940
Well, if you're not
gonna buy anything,

1659
01:10:05.973 --> 01:10:07.575
then get the hell
out of my store.

1660
01:10:08.042 --> 01:10:10.477
Ugh!

1661
01:10:12.180 --> 01:10:13.681
Ugh.

1662
01:10:16.249 --> 01:10:17.284
God.

1663
01:10:21.622 --> 01:10:23.223
Change your mind?

1664
01:10:23.256 --> 01:10:26.761
Well, he carded me,
and I don't have my ID, so.

1665
01:10:26.794 --> 01:10:30.064
Aren't you, like, 24, though?

1666
01:10:30.098 --> 01:10:31.264
You're sweet.

1667
01:10:31.298 --> 01:10:33.735
Bennett can literally
sweet-talk anyone into anything.

1668
01:10:33.768 --> 01:10:36.704
Yeah. I'm what some might
like to call an "influencer."

1669
01:10:36.738 --> 01:10:37.805
I influence people.

1670
01:10:37.839 --> 01:10:39.306
I've got a friend like that.

1671
01:10:39.339 --> 01:10:41.909
Well, I had
a friend like that.

1672
01:10:42.643 --> 01:10:44.311
Uh, I'm Hannah.

1673
01:10:44.344 --> 01:10:46.279
I'm Hailey. Bennett.

1674
01:10:47.148 --> 01:10:49.984
Hailey and Bennett.

1675
01:10:50.017 --> 01:10:52.620
Hey, you got two bucks?
I could do it again.

1676
01:10:53.187 --> 01:10:54.789
Uh...

1677
01:10:54.822 --> 01:10:57.324
- Somewhere...
- Yo, did you get punched in the eye?

1678
01:10:57.357 --> 01:10:58.893
Are you a victim
of domestic violence?

1679
01:10:58.926 --> 01:11:01.896
- No.
- Oh, my God. Were you attacked by a coyote?

1680
01:11:01.929 --> 01:11:03.197
That's so scary.

1681
01:11:03.231 --> 01:11:04.431
It's so close
to where we live.

1682
01:11:04.464 --> 01:11:06.634
I know! They say that stuff
could happen close to home,

1683
01:11:06.667 --> 01:11:09.937
but I didn't expect it on our
local gas station doorstep.

1684
01:11:09.971 --> 01:11:11.038
You poor thing.

1685
01:11:11.072 --> 01:11:12.640
No, no, no, no, no, no.

1686
01:11:12.673 --> 01:11:14.208
Hold my beer.

1687
01:11:19.714 --> 01:11:21.682
She's my best friend.

1688
01:11:22.349 --> 01:11:23.316
For now.

1689
01:11:44.404 --> 01:11:46.174
A car. A car!
Hey, wait!

1690
01:11:46.207 --> 01:11:49.177
Wait! Wait, for love
of all that is holy!

1691
01:11:49.210 --> 01:11:50.443
Wait!

1692
01:11:50.477 --> 01:11:52.046
Oh, my God.

1693
01:11:52.079 --> 01:11:53.648
Please don't kill me.

1694
01:11:55.348 --> 01:11:57.985
Oh, thank God.

1695
01:11:58.019 --> 01:12:00.121
Look, my phone is
completely dead.

1696
01:12:00.154 --> 01:12:02.957
Can I just plug it in for a
minute and I'll pay for a ride?

1697
01:12:03.390 --> 01:12:05.126
Sure.

1698
01:12:05.693 --> 01:12:06.994
Here's the cable.

1699
01:12:07.929 --> 01:12:09.329
Thank you.

1700
01:12:09.362 --> 01:12:10.631
So, where are you headed?

1701
01:12:10.665 --> 01:12:12.399
I don't actually know
at this point,

1702
01:12:12.432 --> 01:12:14.068
if I'm being completely honest.

1703
01:12:16.704 --> 01:12:18.673
You know, I can't really
take you anywhere

1704
01:12:18.706 --> 01:12:20.775
unless you know
where you wanna go.

1705
01:12:21.242 --> 01:12:23.945
I don't know.

1706
01:12:23.978 --> 01:12:27.014
It's like my decision making
is so fucked up.

1707
01:12:27.048 --> 01:12:29.416
Like, I usually think
it's gonna be a great time

1708
01:12:29.449 --> 01:12:32.553
and then nine times out
of ten, it just goes to shit.

1709
01:12:32.587 --> 01:12:34.454
You're not the responsible one,
are you?

1710
01:12:34.487 --> 01:12:35.923
Excuse me?

1711
01:12:35.957 --> 01:12:40.528
I see a lot of people
in the back seat there and...

1712
01:12:40.561 --> 01:12:43.664
Groups of friends that come in
and there's always "the fun one."

1713
01:12:43.698 --> 01:12:45.666
- I'm fun.
- Yeah, exactly.

1714
01:12:45.700 --> 01:12:48.870
Fun ones always know
how to find a party.

1715
01:12:48.903 --> 01:12:51.572
And then there is
the responsible one.

1716
01:12:51.606 --> 01:12:53.875
And the responsible one
knows how to get home.

1717
01:12:54.675 --> 01:12:56.277
Wow, that's deep.

1718
01:12:58.411 --> 01:13:00.047
Oh, wait.

1719
01:13:01.515 --> 01:13:03.317
I actually do know
where I wanna go.

1720
01:13:09.422 --> 01:13:10.791
Ugh. God.

1721
01:13:11.125 --> 01:13:12.059
Oh.

1722
01:13:13.861 --> 01:13:15.930
Oh!

1723
01:13:15.963 --> 01:13:18.799
It's her fucking fault
we're here in the first place.

1724
01:13:18.833 --> 01:13:21.035
She's just so bossy
and so controlling.

1725
01:13:21.068 --> 01:13:22.837
She always thinks
she's so right.

1726
01:13:22.870 --> 01:13:24.205
You know what I mean.

1727
01:13:25.373 --> 01:13:27.174
And she called me
a pussy.

1728
01:13:27.208 --> 01:13:28.542
Pussies are beautiful.

1729
01:13:28.576 --> 01:13:30.410
Pussies make babies
and shit.

1730
01:13:30.443 --> 01:13:31.779
I'm an independent woman.

1731
01:13:31.812 --> 01:13:33.781
I'm a tough-ass broad.

1732
01:13:35.082 --> 01:13:36.384
Pussy.

1733
01:13:37.184 --> 01:13:38.686
Oh, God, no!

1734
01:13:38.719 --> 01:13:39.987
No, no, no.

1735
01:13:48.229 --> 01:13:49.864
Thank you.

1736
01:13:51.098 --> 01:13:52.733
You're so nice.

1737
01:13:54.936 --> 01:13:57.405
Hey.

1738
01:13:57.437 --> 01:14:01.542
So, that yacht ride turned out to
not be all it was cracked up to be.

1739
01:14:01.575 --> 01:14:03.377
I can't imagine why.

1740
01:14:03.411 --> 01:14:05.046
Treasure got a little seasick.

1741
01:14:05.079 --> 01:14:08.382
Yeah... She threw up and it
kind of killed the whole vibe.

1742
01:14:12.520 --> 01:14:14.522
Well, she was so lovely.

1743
01:14:14.555 --> 01:14:16.424
Like pirate's booty.

1744
01:14:16.456 --> 01:14:17.591
You know,
I just keep thinking

1745
01:14:17.625 --> 01:14:19.193
that I should be
getting these major parts

1746
01:14:19.226 --> 01:14:22.462
and it's just not happening,
you know?

1747
01:14:22.495 --> 01:14:23.965
What? The thought
of channeling

1748
01:14:23.998 --> 01:14:26.901
your inner Jerry Orbach
not doing it for you?

1749
01:14:28.803 --> 01:14:30.470
Wait a minute.

1750
01:14:30.503 --> 01:14:32.472
He was in <i>Law and Justice,</i> too.

1751
01:14:34.442 --> 01:14:37.311
It's kind of like <i>Inception</i>
because so are you.

1752
01:14:37.345 --> 01:14:38.346
<i>Inception,</i> exactly.

1753
01:14:38.379 --> 01:14:40.815
I should be
getting offers like Leonardo

1754
01:14:40.848 --> 01:14:42.583
or even Ryan Gosling.

1755
01:14:42.616 --> 01:14:44.719
I would have
killed <i>La La Land.</i>

1756
01:14:44.752 --> 01:14:45.886
Murdered it.

1757
01:14:45.920 --> 01:14:47.054
I just wish somebody
would ask me

1758
01:14:47.088 --> 01:14:48.723
what I wanted to
do every now and then.

1759
01:14:48.756 --> 01:14:50.490
Like, what kind of parts
I want to play.

1760
01:14:50.524 --> 01:14:52.259
And I got what I deserve.

1761
01:14:52.293 --> 01:14:53.894
Yeah, it would be nice

1762
01:14:53.928 --> 01:14:56.330
if someone asked you
about yourself occasionally.

1763
01:14:56.364 --> 01:14:57.732
I agree.

1764
01:14:57.765 --> 01:15:00.468
Maybe Ben Stiller
was all wrong about me.

1765
01:15:00.500 --> 01:15:01.669
It boggles my mind.

1766
01:15:01.702 --> 01:15:05.339
Bartender, can I get
another shot, please?

1767
01:15:05.373 --> 01:15:06.507
Make it two.

1768
01:15:06.540 --> 01:15:09.043
You know what? You know what?
Just keep 'em coming,

1769
01:15:09.076 --> 01:15:11.078
because I'm gonna
need them.

1770
01:15:11.112 --> 01:15:13.180
Hey. Hey...

1771
01:15:13.214 --> 01:15:16.217
You know what?
You really get me.

1772
01:15:16.984 --> 01:15:18.319
We should talk more often.

1773
01:15:18.352 --> 01:15:19.854
You know,

1774
01:15:19.887 --> 01:15:22.890
I'm thinking that
we just keep drinking

1775
01:15:22.923 --> 01:15:26.794
and then keep the talking
to an absolute minimum.

1776
01:15:27.395 --> 01:15:30.164
Yeah. Sound good?

1777
01:15:30.197 --> 01:15:32.066
Sure. If you say so.
Here we go.

1778
01:15:32.733 --> 01:15:34.068
Bottoms up.

1779
01:15:38.472 --> 01:15:39.340
Oh.

1780
01:15:42.943 --> 01:15:44.545
Wait, hold on.

1781
01:15:45.780 --> 01:15:47.548
This doesn't feel right.

1782
01:15:47.581 --> 01:15:48.849
Should we go to
the bathroom?

1783
01:15:49.750 --> 01:15:51.052
Shut up.

1784
01:15:53.988 --> 01:15:56.424
No, but seriously. Seriously,
where are you staying?

1785
01:15:56.457 --> 01:15:58.492
We're starting to look
as creepy as them.

1786
01:16:02.096 --> 01:16:04.265
Oh, you're right.
That is aggressive.

1787
01:16:04.298 --> 01:16:05.466
Is he inside her?

1788
01:16:05.499 --> 01:16:07.501
What the actual fuck?

1789
01:16:11.105 --> 01:16:11.972
Hmm.

1790
01:16:12.339 --> 01:16:14.075
I knew it.

1791
01:16:14.108 --> 01:16:16.310
I knew you were
a sketchy little fuck.

1792
01:16:16.343 --> 01:16:18.779
Brooklyn... Wait.
Let me explain.

1793
01:16:18.813 --> 01:16:20.748
Explain what?

1794
01:16:20.781 --> 01:16:22.116
You were
always so controlling

1795
01:16:22.149 --> 01:16:24.251
because you were the one
cheating on Hannah.

1796
01:16:24.285 --> 01:16:26.854
- Why don't we go to your hotel?
- No, butt out, all right?

1797
01:16:26.887 --> 01:16:28.789
- Butt out.
- This is just a good friend.

1798
01:16:28.823 --> 01:16:30.091
I don't know what you saw,

1799
01:16:30.124 --> 01:16:31.592
but it's not
what it looks like.

1800
01:16:31.625 --> 01:16:33.060
I knew you guys were
in San Diego,

1801
01:16:33.094 --> 01:16:35.262
and then I lost my GPS
locator a few hours ago

1802
01:16:35.296 --> 01:16:36.831
and then
I ran into Heidi here,

1803
01:16:36.864 --> 01:16:38.899
and we were just about
to come find you guys.

1804
01:16:38.933 --> 01:16:41.135
You know what?
This is exactly

1805
01:16:41.168 --> 01:16:42.970
what it looks like, okay?

1806
01:16:43.003 --> 01:16:46.040
Hannah is such
an amazing person.

1807
01:16:46.073 --> 01:16:49.243
She is loyal. She's kind.
She's beautiful.

1808
01:16:49.276 --> 01:16:52.246
She wouldn't be in this
situation if it weren't for me.

1809
01:16:52.947 --> 01:16:54.281
You know what?

1810
01:16:54.748 --> 01:16:56.450
Fuck you, Damon,

1811
01:16:56.484 --> 01:16:58.052
for being a self-centered,

1812
01:16:58.085 --> 01:17:00.187
emotionally abusive
little twat

1813
01:17:00.221 --> 01:17:02.890
to the best person
you will ever fucking meet.

1814
01:17:02.923 --> 01:17:04.258
And for who? For Heidi.

1815
01:17:04.291 --> 01:17:05.960
Does she yodel
and herd sheep?

1816
01:17:05.993 --> 01:17:09.930
And fuck you for being
such a fucking narcissist.

1817
01:17:09.964 --> 01:17:11.098
And you're a bad actor.

1818
01:17:11.132 --> 01:17:12.633
- I'm going to find Hannah.
- Oh!

1819
01:17:13.734 --> 01:17:15.436
Thanks for the drinks,
boys.

1820
01:17:15.469 --> 01:17:16.605
Brooklyn.

1821
01:17:26.080 --> 01:17:27.781
Hannah.

1822
01:17:27.815 --> 01:17:28.916
B, I need to talk to you.

1823
01:17:28.949 --> 01:17:31.252
No, I need to talk to you.

1824
01:17:31.285 --> 01:17:33.454
I'm so sorry
I made you come here.

1825
01:17:33.487 --> 01:17:34.989
No, I'm glad you did.

1826
01:17:35.022 --> 01:17:37.424
It made me think that
you were right all along.

1827
01:17:37.458 --> 01:17:38.425
About what?

1828
01:17:38.459 --> 01:17:40.629
That I need to stand up
for myself more.

1829
01:17:40.661 --> 01:17:42.263
Oh, yeah. You do.

1830
01:17:42.296 --> 01:17:44.665
If I didn't want to come on this
trip, I wouldn't have agreed to it.

1831
01:17:44.698 --> 01:17:46.133
But I basically forced you.

1832
01:17:46.167 --> 01:17:49.670
No. But I saw this homeless man
masturbating on a park bench,

1833
01:17:49.703 --> 01:17:51.205
and it got me thinking that

1834
01:17:51.238 --> 01:17:54.408
masturbating and procrastinating
are basically the same thing.

1835
01:17:54.441 --> 01:17:56.177
It's all fun and games
until you realize

1836
01:17:56.210 --> 01:17:59.446
that you're basically
fucking yourself.

1837
01:17:59.480 --> 01:18:03.150
Are you still drunk? Because I'm
not really following this analogy,

1838
01:18:03.184 --> 01:18:04.351
but also, I'm drunk.

1839
01:18:04.385 --> 01:18:06.787
I've just been so scared
to speak up for myself

1840
01:18:06.820 --> 01:18:07.855
and break up with Damon

1841
01:18:07.888 --> 01:18:09.123
because I don't wanna
be alone.

1842
01:18:09.156 --> 01:18:11.593
But I'm not alone
'cause I have you.

1843
01:18:13.894 --> 01:18:15.229
Damon's cheating on you.

1844
01:18:15.262 --> 01:18:16.665
I know.

1845
01:18:16.697 --> 01:18:19.166
No, like, I just ran into him at
a bar making out with another girl

1846
01:18:19.200 --> 01:18:20.901
while I was making out
with Christian.

1847
01:18:20.935 --> 01:18:22.336
Don't ask. But yeah,

1848
01:18:22.369 --> 01:18:24.104
he was basically giving her
oral in the bar.

1849
01:18:24.138 --> 01:18:25.906
- It was gross.
- Okay, I didn't need to know

1850
01:18:25.940 --> 01:18:28.742
all of that information,
but I know that he's cheating on me.

1851
01:18:28.776 --> 01:18:30.077
He's not
that fucking clever.

1852
01:18:30.110 --> 01:18:32.446
I basically stalk his
Instagram likes, so...

1853
01:18:32.479 --> 01:18:35.316
You know what? He was a total
nub when I confronted him, too.

1854
01:18:35.349 --> 01:18:37.184
He was just, like,
staring at me

1855
01:18:37.218 --> 01:18:40.689
with these SpongeBob googly-eyed things.
It was stupid.

1856
01:18:40.721 --> 01:18:42.156
Ugh, I'm so done with him.

1857
01:18:42.189 --> 01:18:45.125
I'm ready to be a strong,
independent woman.

1858
01:18:45.159 --> 01:18:47.261
Kind of like you.

1859
01:18:47.294 --> 01:18:50.130
No, if anything, you need
to be less like me.

1860
01:18:50.164 --> 01:18:52.099
You're so nice to people.

1861
01:18:52.132 --> 01:18:55.970
I'm starting to realize that I just
need to be by myself for a while.

1862
01:18:56.003 --> 01:18:58.339
Maybe date me for once.

1863
01:18:58.372 --> 01:19:01.008
Holy shit. We're adulting
so hard right now.

1864
01:19:02.876 --> 01:19:05.012
- I'm sorry.
- I'm sexy.

1865
01:19:06.715 --> 01:19:08.182
Oh, my God.

1866
01:19:08.215 --> 01:19:10.217
- I love you.
- I love you, too.

1867
01:19:10.951 --> 01:19:12.386
Jesus Christ!

1868
01:19:12.419 --> 01:19:13.887
Very sexy.

1869
01:19:13.921 --> 01:19:15.756
Bro...

1870
01:19:16.558 --> 01:19:17.525
Ha.

1871
01:19:17.559 --> 01:19:20.127
Oh, ladies, some guy named Andrew...

1872
01:19:20.160 --> 01:19:21.395
...returned this
to the hotel earlier.

1873
01:19:21.428 --> 01:19:23.764
I'm having
such good karma tonight.

1874
01:19:24.398 --> 01:19:26.367
What's in it?

1875
01:19:26.400 --> 01:19:29.303
Well, yeah. They took
everything of value...

1876
01:19:29.336 --> 01:19:32.273
My mom's credit card,
cash, everything.

1877
01:19:34.008 --> 01:19:36.745
But, of course, they left...

1878
01:19:37.712 --> 01:19:39.780
Oh, fuck.

1879
01:19:41.716 --> 01:19:43.784
The RAV4
in the valet is yours?

1880
01:19:43.817 --> 01:19:45.620
Wow, that's hilarious.

1881
01:19:47.288 --> 01:19:49.223
It's a hideous car.

1882
01:19:49.256 --> 01:19:51.825
Thank you
for being so honest.

1883
01:19:51.859 --> 01:19:52.993
The car's not normal.

1884
01:19:53.027 --> 01:19:54.696
Everyone keeps acting
like it's normal.

1885
01:19:54.729 --> 01:19:57.666
I would tip you, but I don't
have any cash, so...

1886
01:19:59.133 --> 01:20:02.169
Oh, well, here.
You can have this.

1887
01:20:02.202 --> 01:20:04.004
I mean, wait...

1888
01:20:04.038 --> 01:20:06.106
We've been through
so much together.

1889
01:20:07.875 --> 01:20:10.110
Okay. There you go.
It's for you.

1890
01:20:10.144 --> 01:20:13.715
That's, uh, super generous.
Thanks.

1891
01:20:13.748 --> 01:20:14.783
You're welcome.

1892
01:20:15.650 --> 01:20:16.817
You're welcome.

1893
01:20:16.850 --> 01:20:18.252
Take care of that.

1894
01:20:18.720 --> 01:20:20.120
Thank you.

1895
01:20:25.959 --> 01:20:28.429
Oh, my God.
Is he still calling you?

1896
01:20:28.462 --> 01:20:31.198
Yeah. One of the perils of
buying my new phone this morning.

1897
01:20:31.231 --> 01:20:33.500
Sorry, babe.

1898
01:20:33.535 --> 01:20:35.235
You know what?

1899
01:20:35.269 --> 01:20:37.871
Damon, I don't even care
what you have to say.

1900
01:20:37.905 --> 01:20:38.972
I'm done.

1901
01:20:39.006 --> 01:20:41.342
Wow. What are you doing?

1902
01:20:41.375 --> 01:20:42.876
What're you...

1903
01:20:42.910 --> 01:20:45.913
Hannah, you just bought that
two hours ago.

1904
01:20:45.946 --> 01:20:47.247
Shit.

1905
01:20:49.450 --> 01:20:51.786
Wait, how soon does your
mom's new credit card come?

1906
01:20:51.820 --> 01:20:53.887
I'm kidding.

1907
01:20:53.921 --> 01:20:55.923
Talk about
no fucks given, though.

1908
01:20:55.956 --> 01:20:58.593
I feel it. I'm ready
to be a boss.

1909
01:20:58.626 --> 01:20:59.927
Oh, that a girl!

1910
01:20:59.960 --> 01:21:02.262
Hey, do you want to stop
off at that overlook again

1911
01:21:02.296 --> 01:21:03.197
and take a photo?

1912
01:21:03.230 --> 01:21:05.132
No, I'm good.

1913
01:21:05.165 --> 01:21:06.601
Is there anything
you wanna do?

1914
01:21:07.836 --> 01:21:09.069
I'm doing it.

1915
01:21:09.103 --> 01:21:10.805
Me too.

1916
01:21:10.839 --> 01:21:12.306
Ooh, I love this song.

1917
01:21:14.308 --> 01:21:16.910
<i>♪ So, baby, if you want me</i>

1918
01:21:18.879 --> 01:21:21.482
<i>♪ You've got to show me love</i>

1919
01:21:22.617 --> 01:21:26.588
<i>♪ Words are so easy to say
all right</i>

1920
01:21:26.621 --> 01:21:29.591
<i>♪ You've got to show me love ♪</i>

1921
01:21:41.402 --> 01:21:43.303
Well,
I'm very impressed.

1922
01:21:43.337 --> 01:21:44.572
You're so active now.

1923
01:21:44.606 --> 01:21:46.440
Quitting drinking will do that.

1924
01:21:46.473 --> 01:21:48.275
I actually wake up
before noon now.

1925
01:21:48.308 --> 01:21:50.512
And you exercise.

1926
01:21:50.545 --> 01:21:52.413
Walking these hills
is good exercise

1927
01:21:52.446 --> 01:21:54.114
and I find myself
enjoying hot yoga.

1928
01:21:54.148 --> 01:21:55.717
So how do you like
the new job?

1929
01:21:55.750 --> 01:21:56.950
It's good, you know?

1930
01:21:56.984 --> 01:21:59.319
I'm really enjoying volunteering
in the writers' room.

1931
01:21:59.353 --> 01:22:00.622
So many cute boys.

1932
01:22:00.655 --> 01:22:02.990
- I mean, total nerds, but so cute.
- Brooklyn...

1933
01:22:03.023 --> 01:22:04.224
But, if you let me finish,

1934
01:22:04.258 --> 01:22:05.827
I'm taking some time
for myself.

1935
01:22:05.860 --> 01:22:07.294
There we go.

1936
01:22:07.327 --> 01:22:09.798
Although I will be taking the odd
cuddle appointment from time to time

1937
01:22:09.831 --> 01:22:12.634
because I find myself really
longing for the touch of a man.

1938
01:22:12.667 --> 01:22:13.967
I hear you.

1939
01:22:14.001 --> 01:22:16.036
Hey, Hannah. Brooklyn.

1940
01:22:16.069 --> 01:22:17.906
Just what we needed.
A third wheel.

1941
01:22:17.938 --> 01:22:20.909
Hannah,
can I talk to you for a second?

1942
01:22:20.941 --> 01:22:22.376
Yeah, sure.

1943
01:22:25.112 --> 01:22:27.481
Oh, okay.
I'm just gonna go over there.

1944
01:22:28.115 --> 01:22:29.450
Bye, Teddy.

1945
01:22:30.518 --> 01:22:31.586
What's up?

1946
01:22:33.053 --> 01:22:34.689
I know you kind of have
a boyfriend...

1947
01:22:34.722 --> 01:22:37.525
Um... had.
Kind of had a boyfriend.

1948
01:22:37.559 --> 01:22:40.194
Oh, right. Well,
I was wondering

1949
01:22:40.227 --> 01:22:42.630
if you wanted to have dinner
with me or something sometime.

1950
01:22:42.664 --> 01:22:45.199
Yeah, that'd be great.
I'd like that.

1951
01:22:45.232 --> 01:22:46.835
- Totally.
- All right, cool.

1952
01:22:46.868 --> 01:22:49.938
I gotta get going, but maybe I could
grab you around, say, 7:00 p.m.?

1953
01:22:49.970 --> 01:22:51.806
Oh, um...

1954
01:22:51.840 --> 01:22:54.408
Unless you don't want to,
then I totally don't...

1955
01:22:54.441 --> 01:22:56.711
No, no, no.
I am totally free tonight.

1956
01:22:56.744 --> 01:22:58.345
I am free as a bird.

1957
01:22:58.378 --> 01:22:59.581
I'm like a bird.

1958
01:22:59.614 --> 01:23:01.148
Not like
the Nelly Furtado song, though.

1959
01:23:01.181 --> 01:23:02.349
It's a terrible song.

1960
01:23:02.382 --> 01:23:03.818
Unless you like it,
then it's totally cool.

1961
01:23:03.852 --> 01:23:06.721
Right. Well, as long as
you don't eat like one.

1962
01:23:08.021 --> 01:23:09.022
A bird.

1963
01:23:09.056 --> 01:23:10.224
I hate when girls don't eat.

1964
01:23:10.257 --> 01:23:11.826
Yeah. No, no, no.
Definitely not.

1965
01:23:11.860 --> 01:23:13.895
That's Brooklyn
with the restrictive diet.

1966
01:23:13.928 --> 01:23:16.263
I love to eat.

1967
01:23:16.296 --> 01:23:20.735
Cool. Well, I'm on the entrepreneur diet.
I'm hungry for everything.

1968
01:23:20.768 --> 01:23:22.804
Did you say you're
an entrepreneur?

1969
01:23:22.837 --> 01:23:24.404
Yeah, pharmaceuticals.

1970
01:23:25.239 --> 01:23:28.242
Great. Um, see you later.

1971
01:23:28.275 --> 01:23:29.677
All right.

1972
01:23:30.612 --> 01:23:31.579
See you.

1973
01:23:33.146 --> 01:23:34.481
He's a fucking drug dealer.

1974
01:23:34.516 --> 01:23:36.483
I knew it was too good
to be true.

1975
01:23:39.554 --> 01:23:40.755
<i>♪ Yeah</i>

1976
01:23:40.788 --> 01:23:43.490
<i>♪ Now the story's told
Let me get my robe</i>

1977
01:23:43.525 --> 01:23:46.293
<i>♪ She just gave me dome
That's my Game of Throne</i>

1978
01:23:46.326 --> 01:23:48.930
<i>♪ Landing on the jet
taking off the drones</i>

1979
01:23:48.963 --> 01:23:51.866
<i>♪ Wire wrapping crystals
higher up the smoke</i>

1980
01:23:51.900 --> 01:23:54.434
<i>♪ Dragon's on the coast
We be adios</i>

1981
01:23:54.468 --> 01:23:56.336
<i>♪ Lot of bread
Lot of champagne</i>

1982
01:23:56.370 --> 01:23:57.805
<i>♪ A lot of toast</i>

1983
01:23:57.839 --> 01:24:00.173
<i>♪ Bunch of girls on the boat
stripping off the floats</i>

1984
01:24:00.207 --> 01:24:03.243
<i>♪ Trying to play me
close, bitch No, you don't</i>

1985
01:24:03.277 --> 01:24:05.547
<i>♪ Coming off the top
like a wrestler</i>

1986
01:24:05.580 --> 01:24:08.415
<i>♪ She brought the coke
Getting brains in the Tesla</i>

1987
01:24:08.448 --> 01:24:10.018
<i>♪ Brown with the blonde braids</i>

1988
01:24:10.050 --> 01:24:11.318
<i>♪ Babe is so extra</i>

1989
01:24:11.351 --> 01:24:14.556
<i>♪ Tiny bit of class
little trash like Kesha</i>

1990
01:24:14.589 --> 01:24:16.991
<i>♪ Young gunner
run rummers all icy</i>

1991
01:24:17.025 --> 01:24:18.425
<i>♪ The sun is on fire</i>

1992
01:24:18.458 --> 01:24:19.928
<i>♪ The moon is in Pisces</i>

1993
01:24:19.961 --> 01:24:22.730
<i>♪ High feet, riding around
the city, no wife-y</i>

1994
01:24:22.764 --> 01:24:25.633
<i>♪ Might be chilling
with your girl on a hike-y</i>

1995
01:24:25.667 --> 01:24:28.402
<i>♪ Malibu, waterfall
Sex on a Ottoman</i>

1996
01:24:28.435 --> 01:24:31.305
<i>♪ I'mma eat a take out
You don't gotta call it in</i>

1997
01:24:31.338 --> 01:24:34.008
<i>♪ Bad bitch on me
Got a bad bitch army</i>

1998
01:24:34.042 --> 01:24:37.612
<i>♪ House full of whores
Now I'm bad bitch farming</i>

1999
01:24:37.645 --> 01:24:39.814
<i>♪ Eating psychedelics
out in WeHo</i>

2000
01:24:39.847 --> 01:24:42.717
<i>♪ Tripping off the tab
when I want to shed my ego</i>

2001
01:24:42.750 --> 01:24:45.520
<i>♪ Now into a puddle She's
gonna sip it like it's miso</i>

2002
01:24:45.553 --> 01:24:48.723
<i>♪ Go the veggie route
We don't do the keto</i>

2003
01:24:48.756 --> 01:24:51.158
<i>♪ Oh, no, why you smokin'
on some outdoor</i>

2004
01:24:51.191 --> 01:24:54.062
<i>♪ Never-ending story She gonna
write it like I'm Foucault</i>

2005
01:24:54.127 --> 01:24:56.965
<i>♪ Catch me in the tiki looking
freaky by the South Shore</i>

2006
01:24:56.998 --> 01:24:59.701
<i>♪ You should get out
the house more</i>

2007
01:25:00.635 --> 01:25:02.870
<i>♪ Michael S. always got
the fire burning</i>

2008
01:25:02.904 --> 01:25:05.773
<i>♪ Illuminate the sky
Plug into my higher learning</i>

2009
01:25:05.807 --> 01:25:07.508
<i>♪ Get to Torrance
from the Florence</i>

2010
01:25:07.542 --> 01:25:09.142
<i>♪ With the higher version</i>

2011
01:25:09.176 --> 01:25:11.613
<i>♪ Spread the virus through
the piracy behind the curtains</i>

2012
01:25:11.646 --> 01:25:14.515
<i>♪ Every morning
Oh, she's drinking black coffee</i>

2013
01:25:14.549 --> 01:25:17.451
<i>♪ Yoga, surfing, meditation
with some bad mommies</i>

2014
01:25:17.484 --> 01:25:20.320
<i>♪ Oh, I keep the reputation
as a bad hombre</i>

2015
01:25:20.354 --> 01:25:23.591
<i>♪ DIY hair dyes
that's some bad ombres</i>

2016
01:25:23.625 --> 01:25:25.727
<i>♪ Yeah, yeah, baby
Go and rock it out</i>

2017
01:25:25.760 --> 01:25:28.796
<i>♪ You see I'mma cop a
house while you cop a couch</i>

2018
01:25:28.830 --> 01:25:31.733
<i>♪ Oh, yeah, ouch
I'm the one they talkin' about</i>

2019
01:25:32.366 --> 01:25:34.002
<i>♪ Uh, uh ♪</i>