WEBVTT FILE

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Downloaded from
YTS.MX

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Official YIFY movies site:
YTS.MX

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(dramatic music)

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(ominous music)

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(crowd applauds)

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- And do we have a
peach of a day or not?

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You know, it's my
goal to get more jobs

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to the people of this
city than ever before.

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Well, we have here the
executive of Freedom Foods,

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and we have them
to thank for it,

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so let's give them a
big round of applause.

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(crowd applauds)

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- [Crowd] USA, USA, USA, USA!

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(playful music)

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(munching)

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(screaming)
(snoring)

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- [Man] Oh God, it's got teeth.

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Oh my God, let me through.

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(screams)

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- I forgot how to get--
- Better run, everybody.

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You can't stay, you can't stay.

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One pass and I'm done.

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I can't see.
- I can you.

24
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You're ascared of me.

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(growling)

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(gun fires)

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- Oh, hello, Principal Johnson.

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You just missed movie time.

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(bell rings)

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Oh.
(kids cheering)

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Alright, kids.

32
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Have a great weekend.

33
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I'll see you next week; one
more week of fifth grade.

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Try not to act, uh, too upset.

35
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- I just had to see for myself.

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Congratulations, Sam?

37
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This isn't exactly
school curriculum.

38
00:04:31.305 --> 00:04:34.274
- It's the second to last
Friday of the school year.

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I just thought I'd reward them

40
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with something a
little more fun.

41
00:04:37.611 --> 00:04:39.713
- What's Sam deserve
congratulating for?

42
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- He finally got one of his
films into a big film festival.

43
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- Oh!

44
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Did he?

45
00:04:44.485 --> 00:04:46.987
Oh, was it, Zombie
Space Vikings?

46
00:04:55.663 --> 00:04:57.297
Zombie Prom Night?

47
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- There's something
wrong with my face!

48
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(screaming)

49
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- Shirley no!

50
00:05:07.007 --> 00:05:09.076
- Or was it, uh,
something with babies?

51
00:05:09.109 --> 00:05:11.945
- Zombie Abortion Apocalypse.

52
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- Zembryos attack!

53
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Sweet revenge, sweet revenge!

54
00:05:18.452 --> 00:05:20.120
- Oh, oh, yeah that one, yeah.

55
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- You have to admire
his persistence.

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- Dear, persistence can
be a sign of insanity.

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- Hyyy-ya!

58
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- Easy.

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- That, boys and girls,
is our classic ninja

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zombie kill move.

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00:05:42.443 --> 00:05:43.877
Well that's it for class today.

62
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Parents, you should be proud
of these little ninjas.

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- And remember, next
Tuesday is our home

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invasion defense workshop.

65
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- Yes parents,
it's good practice

66
00:05:52.352 --> 00:05:53.854
for those of you who do not
want your kids kidnapped,

67
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or raped, or raped
by kidnappers.

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- Kidnapping can really
stunt a child's development.

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- Hell yeah.

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* I can't buy you dinner

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- [Man] Popper, Popper!

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- Hey, what the shit?

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I'll just, I'll
just stay down here.

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- [Woman] You're gonna
want to get up for this.

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- Oh, I'm up.

76
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- What can I help you with?

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- Steve Popolopsis?

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- My friends call me Popper.

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What do they call you, baby?

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Hot Pink?

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- Oh you can call me
whatever you like, Popper,

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but you've been served.

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- Oh, shit.

84
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- Been served what?

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A sexy-gram?

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Fuckin' bitch.

87
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- I get that a bunch.

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You have a nice day, Mr. Popper.

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- Popper don't preach, bro,

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she done filed for D.

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(laughing)

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- Shut up.

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Shut up!

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00:07:01.722 --> 00:07:05.058
- [Felecia] Mr.
Pentergass, we thank you

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00:07:05.058 --> 00:07:08.696
for your short film submission,
Deadbeat Zombie Dad,

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00:07:08.696 --> 00:07:11.398
to the 2016 horror film fest.

97
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We are sorry to inform
you Deadbeat Zombie Dad

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did not make our final
lineup in the festival.

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The truth is your movie
is a steaming pile

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of shitnuggets, with
the production value

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of a home video shot by a deaf,

102
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blind amputee that is
drunk on cheap gin.

103
00:07:28.215 --> 00:07:31.485
Please consider quitting
filmmaking altogether,

104
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maybe concentrating on
digging ditches full time.

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Hopefully you'll
perish in a fire

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or contract genital herpes.

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Warm regards, festival
director Felecia Fugate.

108
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- Sweetie, how's
my little Scorsese?

109
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- Uh, yeah, mom, just a second.

110
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- Sweetheart, I want that letter

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to put in your book.

112
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- This is not a
good time, alright?

113
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- Honey, all your
friends are here already.

114
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You've gotta come out.

115
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Now get your tail out
here, you're being rude!

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(upbeat music)

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- Hey.

118
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- Hey.
- Hey, congratulations.

119
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- Yeah, thanks for coming.

120
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- Course.

121
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- Sam, Sam, Sam, Sam.

122
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- Hey, Horatio.

123
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- Sam, Sam, Sam, Sam!

124
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Well, I guess a
congratulations is in order.

125
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- Thank you.
- Sam, Sam.

126
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It is not that I don't--

127
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- 'Scuse me, bro.

128
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- Hey, man.
- Guys look!

129
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Stoner cam!

130
00:08:47.527 --> 00:08:48.696
- Hey that's awesome, man.

131
00:08:48.696 --> 00:08:49.697
That's really cool.

132
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- It's great, it really was,

133
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It's not that I don't
like Zombie Dad,

134
00:08:55.068 --> 00:08:58.906
it's just that it is
lacking something.

135
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It's just, it's
lacking something.

136
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How would one say?

137
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It is...

138
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It is complete shit, Sam.

139
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It is complete and utter shit.

140
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Because you casted
amateurs, Sam.

141
00:09:10.550 --> 00:09:12.319
Amateurs.
- Oh, yeah.

142
00:09:12.352 --> 00:09:14.554
- And I know that Ocean Spray
has his Megacuts commercial,

143
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I know that.

144
00:09:15.923 --> 00:09:17.090
I know that but I--
- Yeah it's a good commercial.

145
00:09:17.090 --> 00:09:18.258
- It's a pretty good commercial,

146
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I will say that.

147
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But everybody else, Sam--

148
00:09:21.394 --> 00:09:22.596
- I'll be thinking

149
00:09:22.663 --> 00:09:24.164
about you when I
drop this deuce.

150
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I've got a turtlehead saying
let me out, let me out.

151
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Move, bitch.

152
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- No, Tibo, I actually really--

153
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- That was lovely,
Tibo, thank you.

154
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- M-hmm.

155
00:09:34.875 --> 00:09:36.043
- It is a wonder,
Mr. Pentergass--

156
00:09:36.076 --> 00:09:37.077
- Yes.

157
00:09:37.077 --> 00:09:38.045
- If you're even
talented at all.

158
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- Great.

159
00:09:38.946 --> 00:09:40.748
Thank you so much, Horatio.

160
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Do you mind if I just
kinda have my party?

161
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- I'm leaving now, Sam.

162
00:09:46.019 --> 00:09:47.520
- Okay.

163
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Thanks, thanks for coming.

164
00:09:48.521 --> 00:09:49.723
Awesome, Sam.

165
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How you gonna get
out of this one?

166
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It's not like you can
say, whoops, sorry,

167
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I didn't actually
read the letter.

168
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(upbeat music)

169
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- You're like a legit
filmmaker now, bro!

170
00:10:01.935 --> 00:10:03.603
We should team up, you
know, make a movie,

171
00:10:03.603 --> 00:10:06.239
like, what if like
two guys travel across

172
00:10:06.273 --> 00:10:10.778
the country on their motorcycles
in search of America?

173
00:10:11.812 --> 00:10:13.313
- Yeah, man, um...

174
00:10:15.282 --> 00:10:17.785
I think that's already
might've already kinda

175
00:10:17.785 --> 00:10:19.119
been done, but we can
do something else--

176
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- Okay, okay, okay, okay.

177
00:10:21.054 --> 00:10:22.222
Alright, I got another one.

178
00:10:22.255 --> 00:10:23.924
I got another one.
- Okay, alright, yeah.

179
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- Two guys.
- Okay.

180
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- Wake up in the morning,

181
00:10:27.327 --> 00:10:29.162
and their car is gone.

182
00:10:30.630 --> 00:10:31.464
- Yeah.

183
00:10:31.464 --> 00:10:32.632
Yup.

184
00:10:32.666 --> 00:10:34.001
- What was up with that
cheer uniform today?

185
00:10:34.001 --> 00:10:35.102
I saw you at the rally.

186
00:10:35.135 --> 00:10:36.436
- Shut it down...

187
00:10:36.436 --> 00:10:37.938
- You were looking
awfully cheerful.

188
00:10:37.938 --> 00:10:40.007
- The new owners are making
that place my prison.

189
00:10:40.007 --> 00:10:41.274
- Mmm.

190
00:10:41.308 --> 00:10:42.442
- But I got paid
one hundred bucks

191
00:10:42.442 --> 00:10:43.643
to put on the costume.

192
00:10:43.643 --> 00:10:44.577
- Hiiya!

193
00:10:44.611 --> 00:10:45.445
- Oh!

194
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Alright, alright.

195
00:10:46.479 --> 00:10:47.848
- Oh.
- Oh, okay.

196
00:10:49.149 --> 00:10:50.450
- Hey, hey baby.

197
00:10:51.518 --> 00:10:52.585
- Die, asshole.

198
00:10:52.619 --> 00:10:54.354
- Oh, asshole, sass, I dig.

199
00:10:54.354 --> 00:10:55.856
You like to party?

200
00:10:55.856 --> 00:10:56.857
- You wanna play?

201
00:10:56.857 --> 00:10:57.958
- Mmm, yeah I wanna play.

202
00:10:57.991 --> 00:10:58.992
- You wouldn't get anywhere near

203
00:10:58.992 --> 00:11:02.329
this unless I was dead, or dead.

204
00:11:02.329 --> 00:11:04.664
You have poop on your shirt.

205
00:11:04.664 --> 00:11:06.299
It's gross.
- Hi, y'all!

206
00:11:06.333 --> 00:11:09.502
I have some Freedom Cakes
fresh from the factory.

207
00:11:09.502 --> 00:11:10.771
Eat 'em all up!

208
00:11:11.705 --> 00:11:12.706
- I'm alright.

209
00:11:12.773 --> 00:11:13.640
Thanks.

210
00:11:13.673 --> 00:11:14.775
- Aw, they're good.

211
00:11:14.775 --> 00:11:15.943
You have a good time!

212
00:11:15.976 --> 00:11:17.644
- Thanks, Ms. Ecky.

213
00:11:17.677 --> 00:11:18.678
- I think I'm going to vomit.

214
00:11:18.678 --> 00:11:20.047
- Yeah, vomit.

215
00:11:20.047 --> 00:11:22.649
- Sam, I, I had my
kids make you cards.

216
00:11:22.682 --> 00:11:23.817
- Nice.

217
00:11:23.817 --> 00:11:24.952
Thank you.

218
00:11:24.952 --> 00:11:28.155
Oh.
- Yeah, and this one's mine.

219
00:11:28.188 --> 00:11:29.022
- Nice!

220
00:11:37.297 --> 00:11:38.131
Bros.

221
00:11:41.368 --> 00:11:42.202
- Fuck off!

222
00:11:42.202 --> 00:11:43.737
- Hey, hey.

223
00:11:43.804 --> 00:11:46.139
- Your hair looks like my
cousin's bleached asshole.

224
00:11:46.139 --> 00:11:47.808
- Why you got so
much aggression?

225
00:11:47.841 --> 00:11:49.509
Be so pretty.

226
00:11:49.509 --> 00:11:52.212
Your cousin bleaches
her asshole?

227
00:11:53.413 --> 00:11:56.884
Hey neighbor, you like
to party and get naked?

228
00:11:58.485 --> 00:11:59.352
I eat butt.

229
00:12:01.721 --> 00:12:03.757
And not just on Fridays.

230
00:12:03.824 --> 00:12:04.992
- You see that Tiffany chick?

231
00:12:04.992 --> 00:12:06.026
She's here.

232
00:12:06.059 --> 00:12:06.894
- Tiffany?

233
00:12:06.894 --> 00:12:08.061
- Yeah.

234
00:12:08.061 --> 00:12:09.262
Dude, I think she's
in the kitchen.

235
00:12:09.329 --> 00:12:10.163
- Yeah.

236
00:12:10.163 --> 00:12:10.998
- She's really here?

237
00:12:10.998 --> 00:12:12.199
- Yeah.

238
00:12:12.232 --> 00:12:13.666
She's like an angel,
man, I'm telling you.

239
00:12:13.666 --> 00:12:14.902
I talked to her for a minute.

240
00:12:14.902 --> 00:12:15.735
- Oh yeah?

241
00:12:15.735 --> 00:12:16.569
- Yeah.

242
00:12:16.569 --> 00:12:18.405
- We're twins.

243
00:12:18.405 --> 00:12:19.773
- Twins?

244
00:12:19.840 --> 00:12:20.673
Really?

245
00:12:21.942 --> 00:12:23.610
- Identical.

246
00:12:23.676 --> 00:12:24.677
- Identical.

247
00:12:32.352 --> 00:12:33.353
- Hey guys.

248
00:12:33.353 --> 00:12:34.554
- Hey.

249
00:12:34.587 --> 00:12:36.756
- Sammy finally has
a ticket out of here.

250
00:12:36.756 --> 00:12:38.558
And a girl like Tiffany
only thinks about

251
00:12:38.558 --> 00:12:41.261
one thing; getting out.

252
00:12:41.261 --> 00:12:43.530
- What are we talking about?

253
00:12:43.563 --> 00:12:44.965
- Tiffany Taylor.

254
00:12:46.699 --> 00:12:47.901
She's blonde.

255
00:12:47.935 --> 00:12:48.936
- Mm...

256
00:12:48.936 --> 00:12:50.370
- I touched her hair over there.

257
00:12:50.370 --> 00:12:51.905
- Oh...

258
00:12:51.939 --> 00:12:53.240
- Oh man, did you tell

259
00:12:53.240 --> 00:12:54.441
her that you were
going to do that?

260
00:12:54.441 --> 00:12:55.876
- No I just went
by and I swiped it.

261
00:12:55.909 --> 00:12:58.411
(upbeat music)

262
00:12:58.445 --> 00:12:59.446
- Oh!

263
00:12:59.446 --> 00:13:01.114
Peter Anthony!

264
00:13:01.114 --> 00:13:02.449
- So your little
runt did it, huh?

265
00:13:02.449 --> 00:13:03.550
- Yes he did.

266
00:13:03.550 --> 00:13:05.152
And he's gotta go say something.

267
00:13:05.152 --> 00:13:06.386
He can't just like, sit there.

268
00:13:06.419 --> 00:13:07.587
You gotta go get him
to make a speech.

269
00:13:07.620 --> 00:13:08.889
- I think this could
be a good thing

270
00:13:08.889 --> 00:13:09.823
because he is such a
good public speaker.

271
00:13:09.823 --> 00:13:10.958
- Honey, please!

272
00:13:10.958 --> 00:13:13.626
Oh, don't you be nasty!

273
00:13:13.660 --> 00:13:15.062
- Congratulations,
sis, I'm proud of you.

274
00:13:15.095 --> 00:13:15.963
- I'm so proud.

275
00:13:15.963 --> 00:13:17.097
I'm so proud!

276
00:13:17.130 --> 00:13:18.298
Ah!

277
00:13:18.298 --> 00:13:20.467
- Hey Spray, thanks
for coming, man.

278
00:13:20.500 --> 00:13:21.568
- Sammy.

279
00:13:21.601 --> 00:13:22.836
- Hey Uncle P.

280
00:13:22.836 --> 00:13:23.837
- How you doin'?

281
00:13:23.837 --> 00:13:24.905
- Good, man, yeah.

282
00:13:24.938 --> 00:13:26.173
- There's a
mind-numbing fox walking

283
00:13:26.173 --> 00:13:28.108
around this shindig.

284
00:13:28.141 --> 00:13:29.342
Good work.

285
00:13:29.342 --> 00:13:30.844
Normally you just have
a bunch of pot-faced

286
00:13:30.844 --> 00:13:34.747
losers, but um, you've got
like have the town here.

287
00:13:34.781 --> 00:13:37.184
- Yeah man, her name is Tiffany.

288
00:13:37.184 --> 00:13:40.487
I was just getting
ready to go talk to her.

289
00:13:40.487 --> 00:13:41.654
- No shit.

290
00:13:41.688 --> 00:13:45.492
- Oh come on, man, she's
like half your age!

291
00:13:45.492 --> 00:13:47.427
- Maybe some of you
devils just showed up

292
00:13:47.460 --> 00:13:50.197
'cause you heard my boy
made a winning film.

293
00:13:50.197 --> 00:13:51.364
Woo!

294
00:13:51.364 --> 00:13:54.367
(crowd applauds)

295
00:13:54.434 --> 00:13:55.768
I'm so proud of you.

296
00:13:55.768 --> 00:13:57.370
I'm so proud of you.

297
00:14:00.507 --> 00:14:02.042
I'm so,

298
00:14:02.042 --> 00:14:03.476
I'm so so sorry, honey.

299
00:14:03.510 --> 00:14:06.313
- No, it's alright, um--
- They didn't they don't know

300
00:14:06.313 --> 00:14:07.647
he didn't have such
an easy way of it

301
00:14:07.680 --> 00:14:09.149
when he was growing up.

302
00:14:09.149 --> 00:14:11.284
Without his papa,

303
00:14:11.284 --> 00:14:13.453
well, that lowdown, scumbag,

304
00:14:13.453 --> 00:14:15.788
scoundrel, may he
rot in hell forever.

305
00:14:15.822 --> 00:14:16.656
- Okay.

306
00:14:16.656 --> 00:14:17.991
- But anyway!

307
00:14:17.991 --> 00:14:21.061
I always told him,
I always told him,

308
00:14:23.030 --> 00:14:25.899
what you think about,
what you believe,

309
00:14:25.966 --> 00:14:27.634
you can make happen.

310
00:14:28.735 --> 00:14:29.669
And he did!

311
00:14:30.870 --> 00:14:31.972
He did.

312
00:14:32.005 --> 00:14:33.740
Save me, honey.

313
00:14:33.740 --> 00:14:34.741
Save your mama.

314
00:14:34.741 --> 00:14:35.575
- Oh okay.

315
00:14:37.144 --> 00:14:38.145
Alright.

316
00:14:38.145 --> 00:14:39.679
- I'm just so proud of you.

317
00:14:39.712 --> 00:14:40.880
- Thank you, mom.

318
00:14:40.880 --> 00:14:42.882
Thank you, seriously,
thank you so much.

319
00:14:42.882 --> 00:14:44.384
Thank you so much.

320
00:14:45.885 --> 00:14:48.321
- Uh, um, well everybody, um,

321
00:14:51.391 --> 00:14:55.728
you know how much I love
making movies, and uh,

322
00:14:55.728 --> 00:14:59.232
so I want to thank you
all for being here.

323
00:15:00.433 --> 00:15:02.069
Um, you know, but the thing

324
00:15:02.069 --> 00:15:05.272
is guys, um, well
when I got the letter

325
00:15:09.176 --> 00:15:11.011
in the mail, you know?

326
00:15:23.456 --> 00:15:24.958
We did it!

327
00:15:25.025 --> 00:15:26.026
We totally made it!

328
00:15:26.026 --> 00:15:27.360
We're going to Hollywood!

329
00:15:27.394 --> 00:15:29.896
Mom, we're going to Hollywood!

330
00:15:31.264 --> 00:15:32.265
We're going!

331
00:15:32.265 --> 00:15:35.868
(crowd applauds)
We did it!

332
00:15:37.937 --> 00:15:40.407
- [Crowd] Deadbeat Zombie Dad!

333
00:15:40.407 --> 00:15:41.808
Deadbeat Zombie Dad!

334
00:15:41.808 --> 00:15:42.976
Deadbeat Zombie Dad!

335
00:15:42.976 --> 00:15:44.477
- Come here, sweetheart.

336
00:15:44.544 --> 00:15:47.047
Listen, we're just going
to slide out of here

337
00:15:47.080 --> 00:15:49.282
'cause we're already late
for our little girls' trip.

338
00:15:49.282 --> 00:15:51.151
Now, we're going to
be back on Sunday

339
00:15:51.218 --> 00:15:53.720
and you better be sure that
this whole place is cleaned up

340
00:15:53.753 --> 00:15:54.921
by then, okay?

341
00:15:54.954 --> 00:15:56.623
- Okay.
- Oh I love you, sweetheart!

342
00:15:56.623 --> 00:15:58.325
I am so proud of you!

343
00:15:58.391 --> 00:15:59.392
- I love you, mom.

344
00:15:59.392 --> 00:16:00.493
Thank you.

345
00:16:00.493 --> 00:16:01.628
Okay, alright.
- I love you so much.

346
00:16:01.628 --> 00:16:03.130
Have a good time.
- Thanks.

347
00:16:04.331 --> 00:16:05.165
- Yeah!

348
00:16:07.400 --> 00:16:09.636
- I'm so proud of you, dude.
- I know.

349
00:16:09.636 --> 00:16:11.604
- You killed it.

350
00:16:11.638 --> 00:16:12.972
I love you, man.

351
00:16:15.575 --> 00:16:16.576
- Sam?

352
00:16:16.576 --> 00:16:17.610
- Hey!
- Hey!

353
00:16:17.644 --> 00:16:18.845
- Hey!

354
00:16:18.845 --> 00:16:21.514
- Hey, I just wanted to
say again how amazing

355
00:16:21.514 --> 00:16:23.183
I think you did today.

356
00:16:23.250 --> 00:16:24.084
- Okay.

357
00:16:24.084 --> 00:16:24.917
- Um.

358
00:16:24.917 --> 00:16:26.119
- Yuhuh.

359
00:16:26.153 --> 00:16:29.156
- And I always knew
you could do it.

360
00:16:30.823 --> 00:16:33.193
- So yeah, no thank you.

361
00:16:33.193 --> 00:16:35.028
So here's the thing--
- So congratulations!

362
00:16:35.028 --> 00:16:37.197
- No I, thank you so much!

363
00:16:37.197 --> 00:16:39.166
Thank you!
- Thanks.

364
00:16:39.166 --> 00:16:40.167
- Pam.

365
00:16:40.167 --> 00:16:42.869
So hey, here's the thing.

366
00:16:42.935 --> 00:16:45.338
- What?
- I did not get in.

367
00:16:45.338 --> 00:16:47.374
I totally did not get in.

368
00:16:48.841 --> 00:16:49.842
- What?

369
00:16:49.842 --> 00:16:52.011
- No, absolutely not.

370
00:16:52.011 --> 00:16:54.013
- Oh okay, I think
you've had a little

371
00:16:54.047 --> 00:16:55.048
too much to drink.

372
00:16:55.048 --> 00:16:56.283
- I have.

373
00:16:56.316 --> 00:16:59.152
And that's fuckin'
great everybody.

374
00:16:59.186 --> 00:17:00.520
So here's the thing.

375
00:17:00.520 --> 00:17:03.656
You are great, and
I, I appreciate it,

376
00:17:04.824 --> 00:17:05.992
so thank you.

377
00:17:06.025 --> 00:17:07.627
Thank you guys!

378
00:17:07.627 --> 00:17:10.963
And I'm gonna, I'm
goin' I don't know...

379
00:17:12.799 --> 00:17:13.966
- Yeah!

380
00:17:14.000 --> 00:17:16.203
You know what,
where we're going?

381
00:17:16.203 --> 00:17:17.370
Hollywood!

382
00:17:17.404 --> 00:17:19.172
- We are kings of the world!

383
00:17:19.206 --> 00:17:22.542
- I'm gonna punch you
right in the dick.

384
00:17:23.876 --> 00:17:25.478
- So, first of all,

385
00:17:27.747 --> 00:17:28.915
you are great.

386
00:17:31.251 --> 00:17:33.320
And you're very talented.

387
00:17:34.821 --> 00:17:38.891
So I think that you should
come out to the premiere.

388
00:17:40.227 --> 00:17:42.229
Quentin Tarantino, you
know Quentin Tarantino?

389
00:17:42.229 --> 00:17:43.996
- Hey dude, look at
all this hot ass!

390
00:17:43.996 --> 00:17:45.765
- Yeah I know.
- Look at all this hot ass!

391
00:17:45.765 --> 00:17:47.267
- And so you need to know.

392
00:17:47.334 --> 00:17:48.335
- To us.

393
00:17:48.368 --> 00:17:49.736
- That you're pretty.
- To us.

394
00:17:49.736 --> 00:17:51.070
- And you should
come to the show.

395
00:17:51.070 --> 00:17:52.239
You can be in my next movie,

396
00:17:52.272 --> 00:17:54.574
and that's really fucking great.

397
00:17:54.574 --> 00:17:56.409
- We love you man.

398
00:17:56.409 --> 00:17:57.444
- Dude, I love you.

399
00:17:57.510 --> 00:17:58.345
- Dick punch.

400
00:17:58.345 --> 00:17:59.512
Dick punch it.

401
00:18:00.713 --> 00:18:01.681
- Sam?

402
00:18:01.681 --> 00:18:05.084
* Just out, hanging around

403
00:18:08.955 --> 00:18:10.390
- Sweetie?

404
00:18:10.423 --> 00:18:13.760
How's my very own
little Clint Eastwood?

405
00:18:15.928 --> 00:18:17.364
- Mr. Pentergass.

406
00:18:18.731 --> 00:18:22.902
Your movie is a steaming
pile of shit-nuggets.

407
00:18:22.902 --> 00:18:24.036
- No!

408
00:18:24.036 --> 00:18:25.438
It was a mistake!

409
00:18:29.409 --> 00:18:30.243
- Sam.

410
00:18:31.211 --> 00:18:32.044
Sam!

411
00:18:33.313 --> 00:18:34.814
Sam!

412
00:18:34.881 --> 00:18:36.383
Sam!
- Shit, what?

413
00:18:36.383 --> 00:18:37.584
- Sam get your ass up.

414
00:18:37.617 --> 00:18:38.551
Come on, we gotta
go, we gotta go.

415
00:18:38.551 --> 00:18:39.552
- What, man?

416
00:18:39.552 --> 00:18:40.587
What the fuck?

417
00:18:40.620 --> 00:18:41.788
- Ninja painting, bro, man.

418
00:18:41.788 --> 00:18:42.922
We gotta finish
colonel's house today

419
00:18:42.955 --> 00:18:44.791
or we do not get paid.

420
00:18:45.725 --> 00:18:46.559
Come on!

421
00:18:46.559 --> 00:18:47.460
- Uh, shit.

422
00:18:47.460 --> 00:18:48.628
- Fellas are already in the van.

423
00:18:48.661 --> 00:18:49.829
Come on, let's go.
- Are you kidding me?

424
00:18:49.829 --> 00:18:51.231
- The dojo is not going
to pay for itself.

425
00:18:51.264 --> 00:18:52.332
- That's today, man?

426
00:18:52.332 --> 00:18:53.833
- No it was last week.

427
00:18:53.900 --> 00:18:54.901
What the fuck you think, man?

428
00:18:54.901 --> 00:18:55.902
Come on get your ass up.

429
00:18:55.935 --> 00:18:57.304
Come on, come on, man.

430
00:18:57.304 --> 00:19:00.307
- Okay, okay, fuck it.
- Come on.

431
00:19:00.340 --> 00:19:02.609
Your place is trashed.

432
00:19:02.642 --> 00:19:04.444
You're lucky your
mom's not here, dude.

433
00:19:04.444 --> 00:19:05.278
- Agh.

434
00:19:06.413 --> 00:19:09.282
(laughing)

435
00:19:09.316 --> 00:19:11.418
Dude, what the fuck, man?

436
00:19:13.253 --> 00:19:15.255
- Here, here, here,
clean your face off

437
00:19:15.255 --> 00:19:20.260
you got some shit on
your forehead. (laughs)

438
00:19:20.993 --> 00:19:22.762
oh my God, that is bad.

439
00:19:23.763 --> 00:19:25.765
- Aw shit, man!

440
00:19:25.798 --> 00:19:26.966
Shit!

441
00:19:26.966 --> 00:19:28.801
- Aw hell no, is that?

442
00:19:32.839 --> 00:19:34.040
- This place is trashed.

443
00:19:34.106 --> 00:19:36.843
You're lucky your
mom is not here.

444
00:19:40.146 --> 00:19:40.980
- Noodles!

445
00:19:42.882 --> 00:19:43.716
Good girl!

446
00:19:43.783 --> 00:19:44.984
Aww, good girl.

447
00:19:45.017 --> 00:19:47.354
Yes you eat that up!
- Oh hell naw.

448
00:19:47.354 --> 00:19:49.956
- Oh!
- That's disgusting, man.

449
00:19:54.961 --> 00:19:58.298
* I don't want her
- Come on, let's go!

450
00:19:58.298 --> 00:19:59.532
- Dude!

451
00:19:59.532 --> 00:20:00.733
You want to take a shit?

452
00:20:00.800 --> 00:20:02.369
I've got a big yard.

453
00:20:02.369 --> 00:20:04.203
Neighbors would love
that, sorry, sorry!

454
00:20:04.237 --> 00:20:05.071
Come on, would you come on!

455
00:20:05.071 --> 00:20:05.905
- I'm sorry!

456
00:20:05.905 --> 00:20:08.575
(intense music)

457
00:20:11.244 --> 00:20:13.413
- I'm sorry,
Sam-a-lamading-dong,

458
00:20:13.413 --> 00:20:15.915
about last night but I
had to let off some steam.

459
00:20:15.982 --> 00:20:17.484
- No problem, man.

460
00:20:22.489 --> 00:20:24.257
You're already drinking?

461
00:20:24.257 --> 00:20:27.527
- Well it's Saturday, so
I'm gonna get fucked up.

462
00:20:27.560 --> 00:20:32.265
And then there's Janice,
bitch is divorcing me,

463
00:20:32.265 --> 00:20:33.700
so I hope she gets
genital herpes

464
00:20:33.733 --> 00:20:36.736
and poison ivy on her nipples
in the same afternoon.

465
00:20:36.736 --> 00:20:39.071
Fuck it, I'm getting wrecked!

466
00:20:40.773 --> 00:20:42.775
You're a fuckin' mad
man lying about getting

467
00:20:42.775 --> 00:20:44.511
into the festival.

468
00:20:44.544 --> 00:20:45.578
- Wait, what?

469
00:20:47.079 --> 00:20:48.047
- Yeah, you said we
were going to get

470
00:20:48.047 --> 00:20:50.016
an apartment in L.A., asshole.

471
00:20:50.016 --> 00:20:53.520
- Yeah, I was totally
gonna get laid by a girl.

472
00:20:53.553 --> 00:20:54.754
- And I think you
should be with me

473
00:20:54.754 --> 00:20:56.689
at the premiere and that's,

474
00:20:56.723 --> 00:20:59.392
it's gonna be good
for everybody.

475
00:20:59.426 --> 00:21:00.593
And wait no,

476
00:21:00.593 --> 00:21:03.029
I don't even know--
- You charlatan!

477
00:21:03.062 --> 00:21:04.297
- You know you are a dick.

478
00:21:04.297 --> 00:21:06.466
And I don't, know--
- Rejection letter?

479
00:21:06.466 --> 00:21:08.468
- You shouldn't read that
because here's the thing.

480
00:21:08.468 --> 00:21:09.936
- No!
- No because I'm gonna go,

481
00:21:09.936 --> 00:21:11.270
because I'm gonna because
I talked to his agent.

482
00:21:11.270 --> 00:21:13.473
(laughing)

483
00:21:14.807 --> 00:21:16.042
Shit.

484
00:21:16.075 --> 00:21:17.377
- You know folks are
going to have a heyday

485
00:21:17.377 --> 00:21:18.378
with that one, maestro.

486
00:21:18.378 --> 00:21:21.481
But don't worry about us, Sam,

487
00:21:21.481 --> 00:21:24.584
I never really
thought you got in.

488
00:21:24.617 --> 00:21:25.785
- Thanks?

489
00:21:25.785 --> 00:21:28.054
- You're welcome.
- I did!

490
00:21:28.054 --> 00:21:29.221
Dumbass.

491
00:21:29.221 --> 00:21:30.289
I mean, the head
smash in this last one

492
00:21:30.289 --> 00:21:31.991
was the best one ever.

493
00:21:32.058 --> 00:21:34.126
- Can you not hit
so many bumps, Tibo?

494
00:21:34.126 --> 00:21:35.562
I know I'm five minutes younger

495
00:21:35.595 --> 00:21:37.997
than you but shit,
learn to drive, man.

496
00:21:37.997 --> 00:21:40.099
- Look man, that's what you
get for polluting your body.

497
00:21:40.132 --> 00:21:42.469
I told you before, your
body is your temple.

498
00:21:42.469 --> 00:21:44.136
You should be
ashamed of yourself.

499
00:21:44.136 --> 00:21:46.606
- Oh my gosh, are you really
bringing that up right now?

500
00:21:46.639 --> 00:21:49.742
The person who jerks
off to pregnancy videos?

501
00:21:49.742 --> 00:21:50.910
Yeah, tell 'em, Tibo.

502
00:21:50.943 --> 00:21:53.112
Tell everybody
Tibo your darkness,

503
00:21:53.145 --> 00:21:56.349
your dark secrets of the
of the mom's birthing

504
00:21:56.349 --> 00:21:58.818
and the babies coming
out of the vagina.

505
00:21:58.818 --> 00:22:00.687
And he jerks off to that.

506
00:22:00.753 --> 00:22:01.854
Argh, I need to stop.

507
00:22:01.854 --> 00:22:03.022
- Dude, what?

508
00:22:03.089 --> 00:22:04.991
- Listen, they're
not pregnancy videos,

509
00:22:04.991 --> 00:22:05.992
they're birthing videos.

510
00:22:05.992 --> 00:22:07.193
Pregnancy videos are nasty.

511
00:22:07.259 --> 00:22:09.696
Birthing videos are
sexy and they're art.

512
00:22:09.696 --> 00:22:10.997
- Whatever, your
temple's just wrong.

513
00:22:10.997 --> 00:22:11.998
- Dude.

514
00:22:11.998 --> 00:22:13.833
- I haven't even tried that.

515
00:22:13.866 --> 00:22:15.101
- Oh it's good, you
should try it, man.

516
00:22:15.134 --> 00:22:17.303
- Okay, okay, it
gets kind of hot,

517
00:22:17.336 --> 00:22:18.538
but it shouldn't be hot.

518
00:22:18.538 --> 00:22:19.772
- See, when you see
those thighs open wide

519
00:22:19.806 --> 00:22:23.476
and that water break
and, and she's wet, yo.

520
00:22:23.476 --> 00:22:24.477
- Ah!

521
00:22:24.477 --> 00:22:25.645
Oh God!

522
00:22:25.678 --> 00:22:28.180
(yelling)

523
00:22:28.180 --> 00:22:29.015
- Ow.

524
00:22:30.650 --> 00:22:32.218
- Is that a walker?

525
00:22:32.218 --> 00:22:34.887
We almost had
grandma in the grill.

526
00:22:34.887 --> 00:22:37.056
- What's wrong with her?

527
00:22:37.123 --> 00:22:38.124
- She's old?

528
00:22:41.494 --> 00:22:42.361
Mrs. Henry?

529
00:22:43.563 --> 00:22:46.966
Mrs. Henry we are so
sorry, are you okay?

530
00:22:46.999 --> 00:22:47.867
Mrs. Henry?

531
00:22:50.369 --> 00:22:51.738
Hey, you alright?

532
00:22:53.139 --> 00:22:56.242
Let's get you back
to your house okay?

533
00:23:00.379 --> 00:23:02.815
Okay, here we go, there we go.

534
00:23:04.050 --> 00:23:05.818
I love what you did
with your flowers.

535
00:23:05.818 --> 00:23:07.987
(farting)

536
00:23:16.829 --> 00:23:17.664
Oh, okay.

537
00:23:19.031 --> 00:23:22.201
Okay, Mrs. Henry I'm
just gonna head back in,

538
00:23:22.234 --> 00:23:25.104
you got it from
here, right, yeah?

539
00:23:25.104 --> 00:23:28.775
Okay, okay, uh, you
should change your pants

540
00:23:30.877 --> 00:23:32.912
- Did you hear that shit?

541
00:23:32.912 --> 00:23:35.347
I mean, I'm gonna need
therapy after that,

542
00:23:35.381 --> 00:23:36.883
or a birthing video.

543
00:23:36.883 --> 00:23:39.118
- Guys can we please just go?

544
00:23:39.118 --> 00:23:41.688
It's like a dutch oven in here.

545
00:23:42.955 --> 00:23:45.224
- You know what, there
hasn't been a brother

546
00:23:45.257 --> 00:23:47.594
like that in the state since,

547
00:23:47.594 --> 00:23:50.362
and he gave him
the ol' dipsy-do.

548
00:23:51.464 --> 00:23:53.265
- [Waitress] Hi, what
can I get for you?

549
00:23:53.265 --> 00:23:54.266
- Just a root beer float.

550
00:23:54.300 --> 00:23:56.268
- [Waitress] You got it.

551
00:23:59.939 --> 00:24:03.442
- Hey, you're Pistol
Love's nephew aren't you?

552
00:24:03.442 --> 00:24:04.644
- Yeah.

553
00:24:04.711 --> 00:24:08.114
- Man, we were just
talking about him.

554
00:24:08.114 --> 00:24:10.249
Hey listen, let me ask
you somethin', son.

555
00:24:10.282 --> 00:24:11.784
What's this bullshit
lies we've been hearing

556
00:24:11.784 --> 00:24:15.955
about you winning some
sort of award or something?

557
00:24:17.223 --> 00:24:19.559
- Uh, yeah, it was more
of a misunderstanding.

558
00:24:19.559 --> 00:24:21.427
I didn't win anything.

559
00:24:21.460 --> 00:24:24.130
(sniffing)

560
00:24:24.130 --> 00:24:27.967
- I smell bullshit boy, a
big ol' steaming pile of it!

561
00:24:27.967 --> 00:24:30.436
- Tell 'em, daddy!
- Why don't you get

562
00:24:30.469 --> 00:24:33.506
yourself a job and contribute
something to society.

563
00:24:33.506 --> 00:24:35.441
- Yo, Spielberg!

564
00:24:35.474 --> 00:24:36.676
Nice one, guy.

565
00:24:36.676 --> 00:24:38.845
I heard you notched
up another rejection?

566
00:24:38.911 --> 00:24:42.515
Going for a Guinness
world record?

567
00:24:42.515 --> 00:24:44.016
- How did you guys
hear about this?

568
00:24:44.016 --> 00:24:47.186
- I saw it on Instagram,
I saw it on Instagram,

569
00:24:47.253 --> 00:24:50.322
Instagram, Instagram,
Instagram, son.

570
00:24:52.992 --> 00:24:54.426
- [Sam] And now the young
have shown up to feed.

571
00:24:54.426 --> 00:24:56.428
I'm like an Easter ham.

572
00:24:56.428 --> 00:25:01.100
This town is going to be
chewing on my gristle for years.

573
00:25:09.375 --> 00:25:11.978
- Well, if he's gone he's gone,

574
00:25:13.012 --> 00:25:14.513
we still gotta paint.

575
00:25:14.513 --> 00:25:15.848
And pick up two weeks
of dog shit 'cause

576
00:25:15.848 --> 00:25:17.717
we're late again.

577
00:25:17.784 --> 00:25:19.819
- Well I got good
news and good news;

578
00:25:19.852 --> 00:25:21.688
Patton's gone and I'm divorced.

579
00:25:21.688 --> 00:25:23.022
Let's paint.

580
00:25:23.055 --> 00:25:25.658
(upbeat music)

581
00:25:33.299 --> 00:25:35.902
Aw Jojo, you're killing me, man.

582
00:25:35.902 --> 00:25:36.869
That ain't painting music,

583
00:25:36.869 --> 00:25:38.504
we need some rock n' roll.

584
00:25:38.537 --> 00:25:40.306
- Asian is good, too.

585
00:25:40.306 --> 00:25:41.674
- Asian music?

586
00:25:41.708 --> 00:25:43.710
- Zen, my brother.

587
00:25:43.710 --> 00:25:45.211
- What happened to you?

588
00:25:45.211 --> 00:25:46.879
Help me out
Sam-alam-a-ding-dong,

589
00:25:46.879 --> 00:25:50.049
what kind of music do
you like to listen to?

590
00:25:50.049 --> 00:25:51.050
Sammy?

591
00:25:51.083 --> 00:25:52.218
You alright up there?

592
00:25:52.218 --> 00:25:53.419
- Yeah, all good, man.

593
00:25:53.485 --> 00:25:54.587
- Quit napping on
the job, bitch.

594
00:25:54.587 --> 00:25:56.088
Who wants a beer?

595
00:25:56.088 --> 00:25:57.323
- I'm good.

596
00:25:57.356 --> 00:25:58.725
- Guys, something was
wrong with her eyes.

597
00:25:58.725 --> 00:25:59.992
- Whose eyes?

598
00:26:00.026 --> 00:26:02.061
- It wasn't her eyes
that were the problem,

599
00:26:02.061 --> 00:26:03.663
it was her ass.

600
00:26:03.696 --> 00:26:05.264
Popper?

601
00:26:05.264 --> 00:26:06.699
- It was her ass.

602
00:26:08.000 --> 00:26:09.268
- Sam.

603
00:26:09.268 --> 00:26:10.402
Sam?

604
00:26:10.402 --> 00:26:12.404
What are you looking at?

605
00:26:13.505 --> 00:26:14.506
- I don't know, man.

606
00:26:14.506 --> 00:26:15.875
Give me a second.

607
00:26:18.110 --> 00:26:19.511
Uh, guys, we got
a problem up here.

608
00:26:19.545 --> 00:26:22.414
- Yeah, we don't
have enough beer.

609
00:26:22.414 --> 00:26:23.249
- Shit!

610
00:26:23.249 --> 00:26:24.516
Go, go, go!

611
00:26:24.550 --> 00:26:25.718
We've got a problem,
we've got a problem.

612
00:26:25.718 --> 00:26:27.219
- Yo, yo, what the
fuck's the problem, man?

613
00:26:27.219 --> 00:26:28.855
- The colonel, man,
he's fucked up!

614
00:26:28.855 --> 00:26:29.889
Hide!
- Be careful, man.

615
00:26:29.922 --> 00:26:30.857
Slow down, man!

616
00:26:30.857 --> 00:26:32.091
- Hey!
- Come on!

617
00:26:32.091 --> 00:26:35.862
- What, is he
butt-naked or something?

618
00:26:35.895 --> 00:26:37.096
- Sam!

619
00:26:37.096 --> 00:26:37.930
- Shit!

620
00:26:37.964 --> 00:26:38.798
Agh!

621
00:26:39.699 --> 00:26:40.532
Ah, shit!

622
00:26:42.468 --> 00:26:44.637
(yelling)

623
00:26:45.805 --> 00:26:47.774
- Go, go, go, go, go!

624
00:26:47.774 --> 00:26:49.075
- Oh shit, oh shit, oh shit!

625
00:26:49.108 --> 00:26:50.276
- Go, go, go, Popper!

626
00:26:50.276 --> 00:26:51.878
Go Popper!

627
00:26:51.911 --> 00:26:52.712
- Shit!

628
00:26:52.712 --> 00:26:53.545
Shit, shit, shit!

629
00:26:53.545 --> 00:26:54.714
- Hey, watch out!

630
00:26:54.714 --> 00:26:55.715
- Hey, what are you doing?

631
00:26:55.715 --> 00:26:56.548
Wait, wait!

632
00:26:56.582 --> 00:26:57.817
He's our only client!

633
00:26:57.817 --> 00:26:58.918
- I know.

634
00:26:58.951 --> 00:26:59.886
- What the fuck?

635
00:26:59.886 --> 00:27:01.220
- Everybody move!

636
00:27:03.389 --> 00:27:05.424
(yelling)

637
00:27:05.457 --> 00:27:07.660
- Shit that wasn't even close!

638
00:27:07.660 --> 00:27:08.995
What is that?

639
00:27:08.995 --> 00:27:10.229
You had one shot!

640
00:27:10.262 --> 00:27:12.564
- We'll be back once
you fix yo' shit.

641
00:27:12.564 --> 00:27:15.501
And sorry about your chair.

642
00:27:15.501 --> 00:27:17.103
Let's get the fuck out of here.

643
00:27:17.136 --> 00:27:18.604
- No, Jojo, let's stick around,

644
00:27:18.604 --> 00:27:19.739
maybe play a little Backgammon.

645
00:27:19.739 --> 00:27:20.740
- Did you see his face?

646
00:27:20.740 --> 00:27:22.074
Did you see that shit?

647
00:27:22.108 --> 00:27:23.943
- He's possessed by a demon!

648
00:27:23.943 --> 00:27:25.277
Probably that Asian curse.

649
00:27:25.311 --> 00:27:26.679
- There ain't no Asian
curse, it's rabies,

650
00:27:26.679 --> 00:27:29.949
and I ain't getting
18 shots in my abs.

651
00:27:32.584 --> 00:27:34.586
- What the hell is that?

652
00:27:36.756 --> 00:27:37.589
- Patton.

653
00:27:39.491 --> 00:27:41.027
- Oh that's rabies.

654
00:27:42.194 --> 00:27:45.765
- Well that's one dog
you're better than, Sam.

655
00:27:46.999 --> 00:27:47.800
What the hell are you
going to do with that?

656
00:27:47.800 --> 00:27:48.968
Cook him to death?

657
00:27:49.001 --> 00:27:51.170
- You guys got
all the good shit.

658
00:27:51.170 --> 00:27:52.371
I'm trying my best.

659
00:27:52.438 --> 00:27:53.773
- Shut up, guys.

660
00:27:57.343 --> 00:27:59.645
Alright we're gonna make
a run for it, alright?

661
00:27:59.678 --> 00:28:01.013
We're gonna get to the van,

662
00:28:01.013 --> 00:28:02.214
we're gonna lock the doors,

663
00:28:02.281 --> 00:28:03.382
we're gonna get the
fuck off this street.

664
00:28:03.382 --> 00:28:05.617
- Alright, let's do it.

665
00:28:05.651 --> 00:28:09.555
- Jojo, the ladle, man,
you look ridiculous.

666
00:28:09.555 --> 00:28:11.123
(glass breaking)

667
00:28:11.157 --> 00:28:11.991
- My bad.

668
00:28:13.325 --> 00:28:14.160
- Time to go, boys.

669
00:28:14.160 --> 00:28:15.061
- Come on!

670
00:28:15.061 --> 00:28:16.128
Let's go, go, go, go, go!

671
00:28:16.162 --> 00:28:17.196
- Stupid ass.

672
00:28:19.866 --> 00:28:20.867
- Who's got the keys?

673
00:28:20.867 --> 00:28:22.234
- Me, me, me, me!

674
00:28:26.238 --> 00:28:28.908
- Go, come on, come on, come on!

675
00:28:28.975 --> 00:28:30.209
Popper come on!

676
00:28:34.346 --> 00:28:36.816
Get the door, get it!

677
00:28:36.816 --> 00:28:37.649
- Get the keys!

678
00:28:37.649 --> 00:28:38.818
Let's go!

679
00:28:38.851 --> 00:28:41.888
Put they keys in
there, come on, man!

680
00:28:44.757 --> 00:28:45.724
Go, go, go!

681
00:28:45.724 --> 00:28:47.760
Would you just please go?

682
00:28:47.827 --> 00:28:48.660
Tibo!

683
00:28:50.196 --> 00:28:51.030
Go!

684
00:28:55.367 --> 00:28:56.702
- Shit, man.

685
00:28:56.735 --> 00:28:58.404
- Oh fuck.
- We need to call the police.

686
00:28:58.404 --> 00:28:59.705
- What?
- We need to call the police.

687
00:28:59.738 --> 00:29:01.941
- We are two months
behind on our dojo rent,

688
00:29:01.941 --> 00:29:03.175
he's our only client.

689
00:29:03.209 --> 00:29:05.244
- Okay, at the very
least we have to contact

690
00:29:05.244 --> 00:29:07.046
the Humane Society
and report this.

691
00:29:07.079 --> 00:29:09.181
- You might as well
report Sam too.

692
00:29:09.181 --> 00:29:11.517
Hey, he's the one
feeding Noodles vomit

693
00:29:11.517 --> 00:29:13.352
pudding on the floor.

694
00:29:13.385 --> 00:29:14.553
- You guys don't
even fuckin' care.

695
00:29:14.553 --> 00:29:15.554
- Sam.

696
00:29:15.554 --> 00:29:16.555
- What?

697
00:29:16.555 --> 00:29:17.623
- Your place.

698
00:29:19.125 --> 00:29:20.459
- What the hell?

699
00:29:21.560 --> 00:29:22.428
- Hey guys!

700
00:29:24.630 --> 00:29:26.232
- Pam!

701
00:29:26.265 --> 00:29:28.200
Uh, what are you doing here?

702
00:29:28.200 --> 00:29:29.035
Guys.

703
00:29:29.035 --> 00:29:29.869
- What?

704
00:29:29.869 --> 00:29:31.203
I ain't saying nothin'.

705
00:29:31.237 --> 00:29:32.538
- What are you doing here?

706
00:29:32.538 --> 00:29:35.474
- Oh, uh, I knocked
and the door was open,

707
00:29:35.474 --> 00:29:38.644
and I came in and saw
the place and, well.

708
00:29:38.644 --> 00:29:40.312
It was not big deal.

709
00:29:43.115 --> 00:29:43.983
- Thank you.

710
00:29:43.983 --> 00:29:45.784
- No big deal?

711
00:29:45.784 --> 00:29:48.287
There was vomit
like, everywhere.

712
00:29:48.320 --> 00:29:49.822
- There was?

713
00:29:49.822 --> 00:29:50.957
- [Announcer] We interrupt
your regular programing.

714
00:29:50.957 --> 00:29:52.458
- Holy crap!

715
00:29:52.458 --> 00:29:53.459
- [Announcer] This is the
emergency broadcast system.

716
00:29:53.459 --> 00:29:55.294
This is not a test.

717
00:29:55.294 --> 00:29:57.629
Repeat, this is not a test.

718
00:29:57.629 --> 00:29:59.065
State and local
authorities have issued

719
00:29:59.098 --> 00:30:00.933
a countywide warning.
- Sam.

720
00:30:00.967 --> 00:30:03.135
- [Announcer] Stay indoors,
lock all doors and windows.

721
00:30:03.135 --> 00:30:04.303
- Holy shit.

722
00:30:04.303 --> 00:30:05.771
- The authorities will
be issuing further

723
00:30:05.804 --> 00:30:09.842
instructions through the
emergency broadcast system.

724
00:30:14.513 --> 00:30:18.951
- Sam, is that your mailman
chasing Mrs. Henry's dog?

725
00:30:24.756 --> 00:30:27.459
(dramatic music)

726
00:30:33.165 --> 00:30:34.333
- Mom, please, please stop.

727
00:30:34.333 --> 00:30:35.301
Mom please!

728
00:30:35.334 --> 00:30:36.302
- There is something seriously

729
00:30:36.302 --> 00:30:37.336
wrong, your mom is whack.

730
00:30:37.336 --> 00:30:39.471
(moaning)

731
00:30:55.021 --> 00:30:57.523
(bright music)

732
00:31:09.068 --> 00:31:14.073
* Moments are such
fleeting things *

733
00:31:17.876 --> 00:31:20.546
* It's strange though

734
00:31:20.546 --> 00:31:24.050
* What rapture one brings

735
00:31:25.317 --> 00:31:26.152
- Sam?

736
00:31:26.152 --> 00:31:27.353
Sam, Sam!

737
00:31:27.386 --> 00:31:28.320
What the hell are
you doing, man?

738
00:31:28.320 --> 00:31:29.821
This is not a fucking movie!

739
00:31:29.855 --> 00:31:31.357
Come on, let's go!

740
00:31:31.357 --> 00:31:33.692
- Man we are not going to
survive without this weaponry.

741
00:31:33.692 --> 00:31:34.860
We need some damn guns.

742
00:31:34.893 --> 00:31:37.563
- I don't have any
guns, I have a camera.

743
00:31:37.563 --> 00:31:38.830
- Who gives a damn?

744
00:31:38.864 --> 00:31:41.033
- How are we the
only people in Texas

745
00:31:41.033 --> 00:31:42.701
that don't own guns?

746
00:31:44.336 --> 00:31:45.837
- Let's go to my uncle's!

747
00:31:45.837 --> 00:31:47.606
- [Together] Pistol's.

748
00:31:49.908 --> 00:31:51.410
- [DJ] Alright, let's
take a phone call here.

749
00:31:51.443 --> 00:31:53.279
Good morning, you're
live on the air

750
00:31:53.279 --> 00:31:55.347
with Morning Fiasco.

751
00:31:55.381 --> 00:31:56.448
There's nobody there.

752
00:31:56.448 --> 00:31:57.549
There's nobody there.

753
00:31:57.583 --> 00:31:58.884
Uh, guys?

754
00:31:58.884 --> 00:32:00.953
(yelling)

755
00:32:12.764 --> 00:32:15.534
(sirens blaring)

756
00:32:27.779 --> 00:32:29.548
- Looks like we've got company.

757
00:32:29.548 --> 00:32:31.050
Ready to whoop some
ass, little brother?

758
00:32:31.050 --> 00:32:33.119
- Yeah.
- (laughs) Let's go.

759
00:32:33.119 --> 00:32:34.620
- Wait!

760
00:32:34.620 --> 00:32:36.955
Yeah, they're just
regulars, man.

761
00:32:36.955 --> 00:32:39.491
- Let's whoop their ass anyway.

762
00:32:48.800 --> 00:32:49.935
- Pistol.

763
00:32:49.935 --> 00:32:51.437
You here?

764
00:32:51.470 --> 00:32:52.271
Uncle P!

765
00:32:53.472 --> 00:32:54.273
Pistol?

766
00:32:55.941 --> 00:32:56.742
Pistol!

767
00:32:58.110 --> 00:32:59.478
- What the hell is
going on here, huh?

768
00:32:59.478 --> 00:33:01.613
Somebody better
start talking, quick.

769
00:33:01.647 --> 00:33:03.349
- You want the short
or the long version?

770
00:33:03.349 --> 00:33:04.183
- Short.

771
00:33:04.183 --> 00:33:05.351
Very short.

772
00:33:05.417 --> 00:33:06.752
- Alright, so the town
has been overrun--

773
00:33:06.752 --> 00:33:08.320
- Corsicana has been overrun

774
00:33:08.320 --> 00:33:10.989
by bloodythirsty,
crazed zombies.

775
00:33:10.989 --> 00:33:12.991
They may be rabid.

776
00:33:12.991 --> 00:33:15.194
Either way it's very bad.

777
00:33:15.261 --> 00:33:17.129
We came to you for guns.

778
00:33:17.163 --> 00:33:19.765
- Hey, any of these work?

779
00:33:19.765 --> 00:33:21.967
- Does a pig shit turds, huh?

780
00:33:22.000 --> 00:33:23.169
- Mhm.

781
00:33:23.169 --> 00:33:24.103
- What kind of idiots
gonna keep working

782
00:33:24.136 --> 00:33:25.671
pistols in a roadhouse bar?

783
00:33:25.671 --> 00:33:27.373
- None of these work?

784
00:33:28.807 --> 00:33:31.177
- Did somebody say Pistol?

785
00:33:31.177 --> 00:33:33.011
- Mr. Love strikes again.

786
00:33:33.011 --> 00:33:35.347
Now what're we going to do?

787
00:33:35.347 --> 00:33:37.049
- Are you kidding me?

788
00:33:38.684 --> 00:33:42.054
- Shit happens, Sam, I'm
sorry about that, okay?

789
00:33:42.054 --> 00:33:44.323
Now the rest of you
idiots, outta here,

790
00:33:44.356 --> 00:33:45.991
the joke's over, go home.

791
00:33:45.991 --> 00:33:48.127
- We're being serious.

792
00:33:48.127 --> 00:33:50.296
(banging)

793
00:33:52.131 --> 00:33:53.332
- Somebody open it.

794
00:33:53.365 --> 00:33:54.533
- No, don't get
it, don't get it!

795
00:33:54.533 --> 00:33:56.335
ibo, do not get that door.

796
00:33:56.368 --> 00:33:57.636
- Who is it?

797
00:33:57.636 --> 00:33:59.138
- It's Virginia, Dani--
- It's Virginia, Dani?

798
00:33:59.138 --> 00:34:01.407
- And Horatio!
- And Horatio.

799
00:34:01.407 --> 00:34:02.641
- Horatio?

800
00:34:02.674 --> 00:34:04.810
Leave him out there.

801
00:34:04.810 --> 00:34:05.644
- What?

802
00:34:08.013 --> 00:34:09.047
Open the door.

803
00:34:09.047 --> 00:34:11.217
(yelling)

804
00:34:12.684 --> 00:34:14.320
- What the hell is
wrong with you people?

805
00:34:14.320 --> 00:34:16.322
- We got shot at.

806
00:34:16.355 --> 00:34:18.157
What the hell is happenin'?

807
00:34:18.157 --> 00:34:20.159
- They have got the
entire town blocked off.

808
00:34:20.159 --> 00:34:21.393
- I got it on my phone.

809
00:34:21.393 --> 00:34:23.095
- There were bodies
right in the middle

810
00:34:23.162 --> 00:34:24.163
of the street.

811
00:34:24.163 --> 00:34:26.165
- Oh Goddamn, oh shit!

812
00:34:26.198 --> 00:34:27.032
Fuck me.

813
00:34:29.668 --> 00:34:30.669
- Oh my God.

814
00:34:32.704 --> 00:34:34.373
I am calling my dad.

815
00:34:35.541 --> 00:34:37.243
- Can we have some guns?

816
00:34:37.243 --> 00:34:38.910
- How is it that no one
understands the guns

817
00:34:38.910 --> 00:34:40.045
are for decoration?

818
00:34:40.078 --> 00:34:41.247
- Pistol, we're pretty hungry.

819
00:34:41.247 --> 00:34:42.248
You got anything to eat?

820
00:34:42.248 --> 00:34:43.415
- Beer nuts, chips.

821
00:34:43.415 --> 00:34:44.250
- Sweet.

822
00:34:44.250 --> 00:34:45.617
- Sam, no more lies.

823
00:34:45.684 --> 00:34:47.886
- Pistol, this is not a joke.

824
00:34:47.919 --> 00:34:49.955
Something is
seriously wrong here.

825
00:34:49.955 --> 00:34:51.623
- What am I doing
here with you people?

826
00:34:51.690 --> 00:34:53.125
Pistol, take me home.

827
00:34:53.125 --> 00:34:54.460
- It's like two for one night
at the sizzler out there.

828
00:34:54.460 --> 00:34:56.695
We need guns like, pronto.

829
00:34:56.728 --> 00:34:57.796
- And ammo.

830
00:34:57.796 --> 00:34:59.231
- And beer.

831
00:34:59.265 --> 00:35:00.266
- Ammo.

832
00:35:00.266 --> 00:35:01.467
- [Both] Jerky.

833
00:35:01.533 --> 00:35:05.871
(speaks in foreign language)

834
00:35:05.871 --> 00:35:08.874
(speaks in foreign language)

835
00:35:08.907 --> 00:35:10.409
- Why exactly are we not sending

836
00:35:10.409 --> 00:35:13.111
in the military to
address this tragedy?

837
00:35:13.111 --> 00:35:15.113
- Look, if these people
want to kill themselves,

838
00:35:15.147 --> 00:35:16.782
let them go at it.

839
00:35:16.782 --> 00:35:19.318
Where I'm from, we call
that trimming the herd.

840
00:35:19.385 --> 00:35:21.320
- Trimming, trimming the herd!

841
00:35:21.320 --> 00:35:23.789
- Now this is a
perfect example of us

842
00:35:23.789 --> 00:35:26.292
not taking care of our citizens.

843
00:35:26.292 --> 00:35:27.326
- Citizens?

844
00:35:27.393 --> 00:35:28.227
Who said they were citizens?

845
00:35:28.227 --> 00:35:29.728
- No, no, no, no!

846
00:35:29.761 --> 00:35:31.763
- Who the hell are you to
judge who is an American?

847
00:35:31.797 --> 00:35:33.232
- They would not be
running wild in the street.

848
00:35:33.232 --> 00:35:35.901
- The people of the Southern
States are as American

849
00:35:35.901 --> 00:35:37.068
as the rest of us.

850
00:35:37.102 --> 00:35:38.970
If you were in this
room I would bitch-slap

851
00:35:38.970 --> 00:35:40.239
you right now.

852
00:35:40.272 --> 00:35:42.741
(intense music)
- Stay together.

853
00:35:42.741 --> 00:35:44.510
* It

854
00:35:44.510 --> 00:35:47.179
* Ain't real

855
00:35:47.179 --> 00:35:48.680
- Man, this sucks.

856
00:35:51.983 --> 00:35:53.652
I had plans.

857
00:35:53.652 --> 00:35:54.853
- What?

858
00:35:54.920 --> 00:35:58.790
- I was gonna finish
my associates degree.

859
00:35:58.824 --> 00:36:00.592
- Uh oh, look up here.

860
00:36:02.294 --> 00:36:04.763
Hey, hey, Sam, check it out.

861
00:36:04.763 --> 00:36:06.765
- Alright, get it.

862
00:36:06.798 --> 00:36:07.633
Nice!

863
00:36:09.000 --> 00:36:10.035
- Yeah, yeah!

864
00:36:12.671 --> 00:36:13.505
What?

865
00:36:14.540 --> 00:36:15.941
- You gotta hit him.

866
00:36:15.974 --> 00:36:16.842
- For real?

867
00:36:18.544 --> 00:36:20.979
- It's a zombie, hit it.

868
00:36:21.012 --> 00:36:22.548
- That ain't right.

869
00:36:24.182 --> 00:36:25.183
(yelling)

870
00:36:25.183 --> 00:36:26.017
- Get it!

871
00:36:28.320 --> 00:36:29.321
- Oh my God!

872
00:36:30.356 --> 00:36:31.790
- Holy shit!

873
00:36:31.790 --> 00:36:32.624
Yes!

874
00:36:37.663 --> 00:36:41.700
* I'm losing myself

875
00:36:41.700 --> 00:36:43.802
* I dunno when to brace myself

876
00:36:43.835 --> 00:36:46.505
* I dunno when to brace myself

877
00:36:46.505 --> 00:36:48.006
- Alright come on, let's go.

878
00:36:48.006 --> 00:36:49.975
- [Reporter] This just in:
the White House released

879
00:36:49.975 --> 00:36:52.344
drone footage of the
chaos in Corsicana.

880
00:36:52.378 --> 00:36:55.213
I warn you these
images are horrific.

881
00:36:55.213 --> 00:36:58.250
The rioters are attacking
innocent people in their cars.

882
00:36:58.317 --> 00:37:01.353
- The town is right next to
the Mexican border, no wall,

883
00:37:01.387 --> 00:37:04.556
they're coming in, these
damn illegal aliens

884
00:37:04.556 --> 00:37:05.757
take over the town.

885
00:37:05.824 --> 00:37:10.028
(speaks in foreign language)

886
00:37:10.061 --> 00:37:11.062
- Did you see the footage?

887
00:37:11.062 --> 00:37:12.264
What are you going to do?

888
00:37:12.331 --> 00:37:13.932
Tell me; what are
you going to do

889
00:37:13.932 --> 00:37:17.002
when they come in and they
beat down your door, hm?

890
00:37:17.035 --> 00:37:18.670
Oh I'm gonna give 'em a hug.

891
00:37:18.670 --> 00:37:20.439
No, I'll tell you what you want;

892
00:37:20.439 --> 00:37:23.575
you want to get
a gun, a big gun.

893
00:37:23.575 --> 00:37:26.412
That's right a gun, so that
you can protect your family

894
00:37:26.445 --> 00:37:30.181
before they steal your
dog and your daughter.

895
00:37:55.106 --> 00:37:57.709
- Alright, guys, go over there.

896
00:38:02.548 --> 00:38:04.716
(howling)

897
00:38:06.618 --> 00:38:09.120
- I love this fuckin' country!

898
00:38:11.657 --> 00:38:13.091
- Horatio get out of my frame.

899
00:38:13.124 --> 00:38:17.329
- No, no, no, no, see, I
am making my own movie.

900
00:38:17.329 --> 00:38:18.597
- Seriously, really dude?

901
00:38:18.630 --> 00:38:20.332
- Really, really,
yeah, yeah, yeah.

902
00:38:20.332 --> 00:38:23.502
I'm doing one about a
shitty filmmaker making

903
00:38:23.569 --> 00:38:26.738
a horror film and trying
to use real zombies

904
00:38:26.772 --> 00:38:30.108
to make his film,
that's what I'm doing.

905
00:38:31.477 --> 00:38:35.146
- You really think
someone would watch that?

906
00:38:44.255 --> 00:38:45.290
- Jojo!

907
00:38:45.323 --> 00:38:47.158
- Keep your voice down.

908
00:38:47.158 --> 00:38:47.993
- Beer!

909
00:38:50.496 --> 00:38:51.997
- Sh, don't, don't!

910
00:38:51.997 --> 00:38:52.831
- Yes.

911
00:38:56.167 --> 00:38:57.268
- Don't move.

912
00:38:59.938 --> 00:39:00.672
- Yes.

913
00:39:01.507 --> 00:39:02.340
- Don't!

914
00:39:03.642 --> 00:39:05.477
(laughing)

915
00:39:05.477 --> 00:39:08.146
(intense music)

916
00:39:11.717 --> 00:39:14.886
(gun firing)
- Get out of here.

917
00:39:14.886 --> 00:39:16.388
- Fucking A!

918
00:39:16.455 --> 00:39:20.325
- Weapons work better
with ammunition.

919
00:39:20.358 --> 00:39:23.128
* It's making me sad now

920
00:39:23.128 --> 00:39:28.133
* A little sad, yeah, yeah

921
00:39:28.900 --> 00:39:31.336
* Gets me, memory

922
00:39:31.369 --> 00:39:32.671
- What's going on?

923
00:39:32.671 --> 00:39:34.139
- Seems like everyone
thinks the bar

924
00:39:34.139 --> 00:39:36.475
is the best place to be
when all hell breaks loose.

925
00:39:36.475 --> 00:39:37.809
- We're gonna be lucky
if we even make it out

926
00:39:37.843 --> 00:39:39.077
of this town alive.

927
00:39:39.077 --> 00:39:40.245
- Jojo, you gotta
stop looking at me

928
00:39:40.245 --> 00:39:41.513
while I'm taking a piss.

929
00:39:41.547 --> 00:39:43.381
- I, I'm not, what
are you talking about?

930
00:39:43.381 --> 00:39:44.850
- And it doesn't matter anyway,

931
00:39:44.850 --> 00:39:46.518
wasn't that always the
case, I mean come on, man.

932
00:39:46.518 --> 00:39:48.520
How come my movies
never go anywhere?

933
00:39:48.520 --> 00:39:50.689
- Because they suck?

934
00:39:50.722 --> 00:39:53.559
Except for your hair,
and your acting.

935
00:39:53.559 --> 00:39:56.061
- Tibo my movies do not suck.

936
00:39:56.061 --> 00:39:57.596
I don't have
production value, man.

937
00:39:57.596 --> 00:39:59.665
I've never had production value.

938
00:39:59.698 --> 00:40:02.033
- So you're going to
film us while we get

939
00:40:02.067 --> 00:40:04.169
attacked by zombies.

940
00:40:04.169 --> 00:40:05.003
- No.

941
00:40:06.371 --> 00:40:08.507
(farting)

942
00:40:08.507 --> 00:40:09.708
I have an idea.

943
00:40:11.743 --> 00:40:14.079
(crowd applauds)

944
00:40:14.079 --> 00:40:16.347
- Alright, y'all, we're
gonna take a break,

945
00:40:16.381 --> 00:40:18.717
we'll be back in just a few.

946
00:40:27.959 --> 00:40:30.128
- Hello, hey, Popper here,

947
00:40:31.429 --> 00:40:33.198
I've probably changed your oil,

948
00:40:33.231 --> 00:40:36.067
I know I've changed your oil.

949
00:40:36.101 --> 00:40:38.269
Or fixed something on your car

950
00:40:38.269 --> 00:40:39.605
or your bicycles.

951
00:40:40.872 --> 00:40:44.643
Hey, there's one man
here tonight who saw

952
00:40:44.643 --> 00:40:47.979
the shit comin' before anybody.

953
00:40:48.046 --> 00:40:50.749
Like, like Nostradamus
or something.

954
00:40:50.782 --> 00:40:53.585
He said the shit was
gonna hit the fan,

955
00:40:53.585 --> 00:40:57.422
the zombies, the undead,
and said zombie apocalypse,

956
00:40:57.422 --> 00:41:00.892
before anybody else
knew what was happening.

957
00:41:00.892 --> 00:41:04.329
He's my main man, my
best friend, Sammy P.

958
00:41:07.432 --> 00:41:09.735
- Oh for fuck's sake!

959
00:41:09.735 --> 00:41:13.805
His movie didn't even make
it into the damn festival!

960
00:41:13.805 --> 00:41:15.907
- Yeah, no shit, dumbass.

961
00:41:15.941 --> 00:41:18.610
And we all know that now.

962
00:41:18.644 --> 00:41:20.979
But it's okay, you know why?

963
00:41:22.648 --> 00:41:23.849
Hit 'em, Jojo.

964
00:41:23.849 --> 00:41:25.817
- Sam has an idea.

965
00:41:25.817 --> 00:41:27.485
- That's right, Jojo.

966
00:41:27.519 --> 00:41:29.788
Ladies and gentleman,
our zombie maestro

967
00:41:29.821 --> 00:41:30.989
of ceremonies, Sammy P!

968
00:41:30.989 --> 00:41:33.491
(crowd claps)

969
00:41:35.827 --> 00:41:38.997
- Thank you, Popper.
- You're welcome.

970
00:41:40.632 --> 00:41:43.802
- Well, um, so I've
been thinking, um,

971
00:41:48.506 --> 00:41:49.808
we're in crisis.

972
00:41:51.176 --> 00:41:54.680
The world out there
is upside down;

973
00:41:54.680 --> 00:41:56.548
brother eating brother.

974
00:41:58.049 --> 00:42:01.219
And you know, we can sit
here and we can drink

975
00:42:01.286 --> 00:42:04.189
and party 'till
the bitter end, or,

976
00:42:06.558 --> 00:42:09.728
we could unite for
a common cause.

977
00:42:09.728 --> 00:42:13.364
We can show the world
that we are one people,

978
00:42:13.364 --> 00:42:18.036
that we are survivors, that
we can beat unbeatable odds!

979
00:42:19.805 --> 00:42:22.207
And how do we show the world?

980
00:42:23.374 --> 00:42:25.711
I will document it!

981
00:42:25.744 --> 00:42:29.414
This town, yeah it
might be dried up,

982
00:42:29.414 --> 00:42:31.082
we're sitting on
an oilfield here,

983
00:42:31.082 --> 00:42:32.818
this is our goldmine!

984
00:42:33.985 --> 00:42:36.221
We can make a movie as one,

985
00:42:37.188 --> 00:42:38.857
and we will triumph!

986
00:42:43.662 --> 00:42:45.997
- Okay, so what's the movie?

987
00:42:47.398 --> 00:42:48.867
- Have you ever heard
the phrase found footage?

988
00:42:48.867 --> 00:42:52.203
- Have you heard the term
DOA, dead on arrival.

989
00:42:52.203 --> 00:42:53.438
Have you?

990
00:42:53.438 --> 00:42:55.674
You jackasses, go make
your homemade movie,

991
00:42:55.707 --> 00:42:57.943
I'm gonna sit right
here and drink my beer.

992
00:42:57.943 --> 00:42:59.778
- Come on, Bird Dog.

993
00:42:59.845 --> 00:43:02.681
We finally have a chance to
make something of ourselves.

994
00:43:02.681 --> 00:43:03.782
- Oh shut up!

995
00:43:03.782 --> 00:43:04.850
You're drunk!

996
00:43:05.917 --> 00:43:09.354
(crowd booing)
- Come on.

997
00:43:13.391 --> 00:43:15.426
- Hey, get off the stage!

998
00:43:20.065 --> 00:43:23.268
(intense rock music)

999
00:43:23.268 --> 00:43:25.470
- Listen, listen, big Jim.

1000
00:43:25.536 --> 00:43:29.374
There are many, many,
many bonuses to the film

1001
00:43:30.608 --> 00:43:32.477
and entertainment industry.

1002
00:43:32.543 --> 00:43:33.544
- Like what?

1003
00:43:33.544 --> 00:43:35.113
- Number one, poontang.

1004
00:43:35.113 --> 00:43:38.116
Number two De Niro,
or money as we call it

1005
00:43:38.149 --> 00:43:40.151
in the States.
- Sure.

1006
00:43:40.218 --> 00:43:42.053
- So, pussy and money.

1007
00:43:43.288 --> 00:43:45.390
So think about it, think
about it like this okay,

1008
00:43:45.423 --> 00:43:48.960
like, you ever like
work really hard to get

1009
00:43:48.960 --> 00:43:51.229
into a chick's pants,
like you really want it,

1010
00:43:51.262 --> 00:43:54.733
and you spend a lot
of money and time,

1011
00:43:54.733 --> 00:43:56.267
you're not going to
get any of that money

1012
00:43:56.301 --> 00:43:58.804
or time back, but you
get the experience,

1013
00:43:58.804 --> 00:44:01.406
even if she's not very good
you get the experience.

1014
00:44:01.439 --> 00:44:05.143
Look, man, look, you are
getting in on the ground

1015
00:44:05.143 --> 00:44:07.979
level of so much
production value.

1016
00:44:09.614 --> 00:44:14.519
You never get this; real fucking
zombies here in Corsicana.

1017
00:44:16.021 --> 00:44:20.458
So, but if you are in
now you first money out.

1018
00:44:20.491 --> 00:44:22.160
- I can't leave here, though.

1019
00:44:22.160 --> 00:44:24.329
- You can't leave, you
don't have to leave here!

1020
00:44:24.329 --> 00:44:25.496
- I don't know what
you're talking about.

1021
00:44:25.530 --> 00:44:26.832
- You don't know what
I'm talking about?

1022
00:44:26.832 --> 00:44:27.833
- No I don't.
- Do you like pussy?

1023
00:44:27.866 --> 00:44:29.300
- Yes.
- Do you like money?

1024
00:44:29.334 --> 00:44:30.501
- Yes.
- Then you're in.

1025
00:44:30.501 --> 00:44:33.271
(crowd applauds)

1026
00:44:39.010 --> 00:44:43.281
* Oh when I dreamed that
you called my name *

1027
00:44:43.314 --> 00:44:47.218
* Oh when I dreamed that
you called my name *

1028
00:44:47.218 --> 00:44:48.153
- Oh, shit.

1029
00:44:53.859 --> 00:44:54.860
Who is that?

1030
00:44:58.864 --> 00:45:02.633
Hey let me get out of here
before you wreck this place.

1031
00:45:02.633 --> 00:45:03.468
Oh, dude!

1032
00:45:04.736 --> 00:45:07.038
You're gonna wake up
the dead with that!

1033
00:45:07.038 --> 00:45:08.573
Quit fuckin' around, Pistol.

1034
00:45:08.639 --> 00:45:10.141
(yelling)

1035
00:45:10.175 --> 00:45:12.978
* Hear bells and
who's to blame *

1036
00:45:12.978 --> 00:45:15.246
(yelling)

1037
00:45:15.246 --> 00:45:16.882
* Are calling my name

1038
00:45:16.882 --> 00:45:17.816
- Pistol!

1039
00:45:17.849 --> 00:45:19.350
Pistol, you've got to see this!

1040
00:45:19.384 --> 00:45:20.218
Pistol!

1041
00:45:21.386 --> 00:45:23.154
- Oh my God, get off
my man, you slut!

1042
00:45:23.154 --> 00:45:24.355
- Shut your pie hole, bitch.

1043
00:45:24.389 --> 00:45:25.891
- Oh he got me!

1044
00:45:25.891 --> 00:45:27.225
He got me!

1045
00:45:27.225 --> 00:45:30.028
(yelling)

1046
00:45:30.061 --> 00:45:30.896
- Run!

1047
00:45:32.998 --> 00:45:34.900
- Get out of my way!

1048
00:45:34.900 --> 00:45:36.401
Get out of my way!

1049
00:45:37.903 --> 00:45:39.037
- Oh my God, he neutered him!

1050
00:45:39.070 --> 00:45:41.072
- I think I wet myself,
I pissed myself.

1051
00:45:41.072 --> 00:45:42.740
- Go, go, go, go, go!

1052
00:45:42.740 --> 00:45:43.574
- Where are we going?

1053
00:45:43.574 --> 00:45:44.509
Where are we going?

1054
00:45:44.542 --> 00:45:45.210
- We're going to Pam's school!

1055
00:45:45.243 --> 00:45:46.177
- Why?

1056
00:45:46.177 --> 00:45:46.945
- Because the windows have bars!

1057
00:45:46.945 --> 00:45:47.779
- Go, go!

1058
00:45:47.779 --> 00:45:49.714
Just get in your truck!

1059
00:45:54.285 --> 00:45:57.088
- Hey kids, there's a
new sheriff in town.

1060
00:45:57.088 --> 00:45:59.424
All your worries will
wash away with one bite

1061
00:45:59.424 --> 00:46:00.859
of these delicious chocolatey,

1062
00:46:00.892 --> 00:46:03.394
cream filled Freedom Cakes.

1063
00:46:03.428 --> 00:46:04.896
Your parents keeping you down?

1064
00:46:04.896 --> 00:46:07.698
Do they keep making you eat
food not fit to feed an ostrich?

1065
00:46:07.698 --> 00:46:08.867
Blech!

1066
00:46:08.900 --> 00:46:11.803
Don't worry, Freedom
Cakes are here!

1067
00:46:11.803 --> 00:46:13.404
This is America,
where we get to eat

1068
00:46:13.438 --> 00:46:17.275
what we want, it's
your God given right!

1069
00:46:17.275 --> 00:46:20.478
Coming to a store
near you on July 4th.

1070
00:46:25.250 --> 00:46:26.217
- Hey, guys.

1071
00:46:26.217 --> 00:46:27.418
- Hey.
- Hey.

1072
00:46:27.452 --> 00:46:30.455
- Really like your
handiwork back there.

1073
00:46:30.455 --> 00:46:32.657
You guys have any film
production experience?

1074
00:46:32.723 --> 00:46:36.727
- No, boss, but as you
can see we're productive.

1075
00:46:37.628 --> 00:46:39.397
- Yeah, yeah you are.

1076
00:46:40.598 --> 00:46:42.000
Better that way
anyway, film production

1077
00:46:42.000 --> 00:46:44.469
experience will make you jaded.

1078
00:46:44.469 --> 00:46:46.972
You guys want to make a movie?

1079
00:46:50.141 --> 00:46:51.776
- Why the hell are we here?

1080
00:46:51.809 --> 00:46:55.446
- Ladies and gentleman,
this is our destiny.

1081
00:46:55.446 --> 00:46:58.416
We have a movie
lot, right there.

1082
00:46:58.416 --> 00:47:00.651
We have hair, we have make up,

1083
00:47:00.651 --> 00:47:02.620
we have set--
- Ahmm.

1084
00:47:02.653 --> 00:47:04.155
- Yes?

1085
00:47:04.155 --> 00:47:07.825
- Um, are you suggesting
that we use real zombies?

1086
00:47:10.628 --> 00:47:12.363
- Real, real zombies.

1087
00:47:15.833 --> 00:47:17.035
Yes.

1088
00:47:17.035 --> 00:47:20.872
We are going to make the
first ever zombie film

1089
00:47:22.340 --> 00:47:24.642
using real zombies.

1090
00:47:24.675 --> 00:47:25.510
- What?

1091
00:47:27.345 --> 00:47:30.515
- Sam, you know I'll do
anything for a movie,

1092
00:47:30.548 --> 00:47:33.384
kind of known for being
a team player, but uh,

1093
00:47:33.451 --> 00:47:35.353
isn't this a little dangerous?

1094
00:47:35.353 --> 00:47:36.354
- Yes.

1095
00:47:36.354 --> 00:47:37.355
Yeah, right?

1096
00:47:39.157 --> 00:47:41.359
Working with zombies
could be misconstrued

1097
00:47:41.359 --> 00:47:42.527
as not a good idea.

1098
00:47:42.527 --> 00:47:44.129
- Fair enough.

1099
00:47:44.162 --> 00:47:46.831
- We're not going to
use dangerous ones.

1100
00:47:46.831 --> 00:47:50.035
- What kind of zombies
are you planning on using?

1101
00:47:50.035 --> 00:47:51.236
- Safe ones.

1102
00:47:51.302 --> 00:47:52.137
Safer.

1103
00:47:52.170 --> 00:47:53.338
- Safe zombies.

1104
00:47:53.371 --> 00:47:55.206
- The only safe zombie
is a dead zombie.

1105
00:47:55.206 --> 00:47:57.642
- Got that straight, son.

1106
00:47:57.642 --> 00:47:59.210
- [Both] Hah!

1107
00:47:59.210 --> 00:48:01.146
- The name of our movie.

1108
00:48:02.180 --> 00:48:03.481
You guys ready?

1109
00:48:03.481 --> 00:48:04.315
- Yes.

1110
00:48:04.315 --> 00:48:05.216
- Yeah, yeah.

1111
00:48:05.216 --> 00:48:05.917
- Come on, are you guys ready?

1112
00:48:05.984 --> 00:48:06.817
- Yeah!

1113
00:48:06.817 --> 00:48:07.652
- Yes!

1114
00:48:07.652 --> 00:48:09.154
Alright!

1115
00:48:09.154 --> 00:48:09.921
Fat

1116
00:48:11.489 --> 00:48:12.323
Ass

1117
00:48:13.558 --> 00:48:14.359
Zombies!

1118
00:48:17.195 --> 00:48:18.729
Fat Ass Zombies.

1119
00:48:18.729 --> 00:48:20.665
- Wilson, come on,
that's even worse

1120
00:48:20.698 --> 00:48:23.201
than Deadbeat Zombie Dad.

1121
00:48:23.201 --> 00:48:26.704
- It's amazing, and it's
perfect for the film

1122
00:48:26.704 --> 00:48:29.174
that we are going to make.

1123
00:48:29.174 --> 00:48:32.543
- Fat Ass Zombies,
I love it, bro!

1124
00:48:32.577 --> 00:48:35.380
- Alright, so we're
in school, right?

1125
00:48:35.380 --> 00:48:36.581
How about a quiz?

1126
00:48:36.581 --> 00:48:37.882
- Oh, oh, me, pick me!
- You guys want a quiz?

1127
00:48:37.915 --> 00:48:39.417
Come on, come on,
alright here we go.

1128
00:48:39.417 --> 00:48:41.919
What does this town
not have a shortage of?

1129
00:48:41.919 --> 00:48:43.088
- Ooh oh oh!

1130
00:48:43.088 --> 00:48:44.122
- Who's got it?

1131
00:48:44.122 --> 00:48:46.124
Alright, Wilson!

1132
00:48:46.124 --> 00:48:47.892
- [Together] Zombies!

1133
00:48:49.694 --> 00:48:51.896
- You're right,
head of the class.

1134
00:48:51.929 --> 00:48:53.264
Before the zombies.

1135
00:48:53.264 --> 00:48:54.265
- Ooh oh oh!

1136
00:48:55.266 --> 00:48:56.101
- Popper!

1137
00:48:56.101 --> 00:48:57.268
- Stupid people!

1138
00:48:57.302 --> 00:49:00.471
- Also true, yup,
lot of stupid people.

1139
00:49:01.939 --> 00:49:04.442
- I think I had third grade
English in this class.

1140
00:49:04.442 --> 00:49:06.044
I'll always remember
because this was the site

1141
00:49:06.077 --> 00:49:07.378
of my first erection.

1142
00:49:07.378 --> 00:49:09.114
- What else?
- Oh!

1143
00:49:09.114 --> 00:49:10.415
I got it, I got it,
I got it, I got it!

1144
00:49:10.448 --> 00:49:11.449
- Give it one more shot.

1145
00:49:11.449 --> 00:49:13.951
- Stupid people with no jobs!

1146
00:49:13.951 --> 00:49:15.620
- Okay, that's true.

1147
00:49:15.653 --> 00:49:17.322
We're kind of staying on that.

1148
00:49:17.388 --> 00:49:18.556
Think bigger guys, think bigger.

1149
00:49:18.589 --> 00:49:19.790
- Sam!

1150
00:49:19.790 --> 00:49:21.492
- Stupid people with
no jobs and no money!

1151
00:49:21.559 --> 00:49:22.427
- Fat people!

1152
00:49:22.460 --> 00:49:23.294
- Woah!

1153
00:49:23.294 --> 00:49:24.129
- Fatties!

1154
00:49:25.296 --> 00:49:27.832
Big ol' fat, fat,
fat, fatties, guys!

1155
00:49:27.832 --> 00:49:29.067
- Damn straight!
- We have five

1156
00:49:29.100 --> 00:49:31.769
Chinese buffts for a
town of 20,000 people.

1157
00:49:31.769 --> 00:49:33.071
That's is a lot of tub.

1158
00:49:33.071 --> 00:49:36.307
All of your parents
are very, very fat.

1159
00:49:36.307 --> 00:49:38.143
And that, ladies and gentleman,

1160
00:49:38.176 --> 00:49:40.845
is what we are going to use.

1161
00:49:40.845 --> 00:49:42.347
The fat, the slow.

1162
00:49:44.515 --> 00:49:47.185
What is the name of our movie?

1163
00:49:47.252 --> 00:49:48.986
- [Together] Fat Ass Zombies!

1164
00:49:48.986 --> 00:49:49.820
- Yes!

1165
00:49:49.820 --> 00:49:50.755
Come on!

1166
00:49:50.788 --> 00:49:52.690
- [Together] Fat Ass Zombies!

1167
00:49:52.690 --> 00:49:54.592
Fat Ass Zombies!

1168
00:49:54.625 --> 00:49:56.794
Fat Ass Zombies!

1169
00:49:56.794 --> 00:49:58.696
Fat Ass Zombies!

1170
00:49:58.696 --> 00:50:00.531
Fat Ass Zombies!

1171
00:50:00.598 --> 00:50:02.700
Fat Ass Zombies!

1172
00:50:02.700 --> 00:50:04.135
Fat Ass Zombies!

1173
00:50:06.204 --> 00:50:07.038
- Magic!

1174
00:50:08.039 --> 00:50:10.641
(upbeat music)

1175
00:50:53.518 --> 00:50:54.985
- Blue team!

1176
00:50:54.985 --> 00:50:57.488
You guys are operation
Capture Fat and Safe Zombies.

1177
00:50:57.488 --> 00:50:58.923
Remember, anything fat, slow,

1178
00:50:58.923 --> 00:51:00.725
doesn't move fast and
it's easy to kill.

1179
00:51:00.725 --> 00:51:03.761
Yellow team, you guys
are weapons and gear.

1180
00:51:03.828 --> 00:51:07.031
Somehow nobody thought to grab
it when we left Pete's place.

1181
00:51:07.064 --> 00:51:10.435
So, get us weapons,
hatchets, shovels, bats,

1182
00:51:10.435 --> 00:51:12.002
chainsaws, ladles, I don't care,

1183
00:51:12.036 --> 00:51:13.404
anything is better
than what we have,

1184
00:51:13.404 --> 00:51:15.706
just remember it's
lame to shoot zombies.

1185
00:51:15.740 --> 00:51:18.576
Get us something fun
to kill zombies with.

1186
00:51:18.576 --> 00:51:20.445
(grunting)

1187
00:51:20.445 --> 00:51:22.447
Red team, you guys are
operation Munchies;

1188
00:51:22.513 --> 00:51:24.615
we need food and drink!

1189
00:51:24.615 --> 00:51:28.786
The school shut down the
lunch program, right, Pam?

1190
00:51:28.786 --> 00:51:31.256
Ugh, where do our taxes go?

1191
00:51:31.256 --> 00:51:32.723
Get us food, guys.

1192
00:51:32.757 --> 00:51:34.959
Green team, you guys are
with me here at basecamp

1193
00:51:34.959 --> 00:51:36.461
starting preproduction.

1194
00:51:36.461 --> 00:51:37.962
Let's make movie
magic here people,

1195
00:51:38.028 --> 00:51:40.698
rendezvous here no
later than 13:00.

1196
00:51:40.698 --> 00:51:41.966
Let's move!

1197
00:51:41.966 --> 00:51:43.801
- Si, maestro!
- Come on!

1198
00:51:43.801 --> 00:51:45.203
(speaks in foreign language)

1199
00:51:45.236 --> 00:51:47.705
(bright music)

1200
00:51:47.705 --> 00:51:49.874
* Chest

1201
00:51:49.874 --> 00:51:53.611
* Nuts

1202
00:51:53.611 --> 00:51:56.281
* Feed it to him

1203
00:52:11.596 --> 00:52:12.930
- Put craft here
right on that table,

1204
00:52:12.930 --> 00:52:14.165
and get all the weapons out

1205
00:52:14.165 --> 00:52:15.733
and on those shelves, alright?

1206
00:52:15.766 --> 00:52:16.601
- Okay.

1207
00:52:27.745 --> 00:52:30.915
- Oh I am getting
the ice cream, bros!

1208
00:52:32.483 --> 00:52:36.487
- Okay, okay, uh, might
I suggest getting items

1209
00:52:36.521 --> 00:52:37.788
with more sustenance.

1210
00:52:37.822 --> 00:52:38.956
- Nope!

1211
00:52:38.956 --> 00:52:41.025
- God, this is so stupid.

1212
00:52:45.830 --> 00:52:47.998
(yelling)

1213
00:52:52.803 --> 00:52:55.440
Oh, I love berries, I really do.

1214
00:52:56.507 --> 00:52:58.142
Oh Jesus Christ, ah!

1215
00:53:00.010 --> 00:53:01.279
Oh my God!

1216
00:53:01.279 --> 00:53:02.680
Okay, time to go!

1217
00:53:04.449 --> 00:53:05.350
Time to go!

1218
00:53:12.357 --> 00:53:15.693
- Drive, drive, drive,
come on, come on!

1219
00:53:16.694 --> 00:53:17.962
- It's a child.

1220
00:53:19.063 --> 00:53:20.231
- What?

1221
00:53:20.298 --> 00:53:22.367
- Who brought the baby?

1222
00:53:22.367 --> 00:53:23.468
- Baby?

1223
00:53:23.501 --> 00:53:24.502
- Oh dear God!
- What?

1224
00:53:24.535 --> 00:53:25.370
What?

1225
00:53:25.370 --> 00:53:26.571
(yelling)

1226
00:53:26.571 --> 00:53:28.373
- What do I do, what
do I do, what do I do?

1227
00:53:28.373 --> 00:53:30.074
- Um, get rid of
it, get rid of it!

1228
00:53:30.140 --> 00:53:31.742
- Okay, okay, okay!

1229
00:53:31.742 --> 00:53:34.245
(baby cooing)

1230
00:53:36.714 --> 00:53:40.050
- Don't look back
guys, don't look back.

1231
00:53:45.222 --> 00:53:46.090
- Sam?

1232
00:53:46.156 --> 00:53:47.091
- Hey!
- Sam, God!

1233
00:53:47.091 --> 00:53:48.326
There you are.
- Fresh markers!

1234
00:53:48.359 --> 00:53:50.595
Pam, this is amazing,
the ideas are flying out

1235
00:53:50.595 --> 00:53:51.862
of my head, this is it!

1236
00:53:51.896 --> 00:53:53.864
- I'm so excited for you!

1237
00:53:53.864 --> 00:53:54.765
- I know, right?

1238
00:53:54.765 --> 00:53:56.267
- Okay wait, I've been thinking,

1239
00:53:56.334 --> 00:53:57.602
I don't want anyone to get hurt

1240
00:53:57.602 --> 00:53:58.903
and we don't know what's
going on out there so--

1241
00:53:58.903 --> 00:54:00.204
- Pam, I know what's
going on out there.

1242
00:54:00.237 --> 00:54:01.439
This town's been
one heatwave away

1243
00:54:01.439 --> 00:54:02.840
from destroying
itself for years.

1244
00:54:02.873 --> 00:54:05.843
- Yeah, yeah, I
know, it's just...

1245
00:54:05.843 --> 00:54:08.746
I just wanna make sure no
one's gonna get hurt, you know?

1246
00:54:08.746 --> 00:54:10.247
- We're gonna sneak around,

1247
00:54:10.281 --> 00:54:13.851
we're gonna watch chompers
chasing people, that's it!

1248
00:54:13.884 --> 00:54:14.719
- Okay.

1249
00:54:17.221 --> 00:54:19.890
- I wonder if the
sheriff's turned.

1250
00:54:19.890 --> 00:54:21.526
I gotta go.

1251
00:54:21.526 --> 00:54:22.427
I gotta go!

1252
00:54:30.301 --> 00:54:33.404
So, you tell me
we've got no weapons,

1253
00:54:34.439 --> 00:54:36.807
a very meager craft services,

1254
00:54:40.311 --> 00:54:42.980
and for a zombie, you
got me a fifth grader

1255
00:54:42.980 --> 00:54:44.315
in a retainer.

1256
00:54:44.315 --> 00:54:46.317
(yelling)

1257
00:54:46.317 --> 00:54:47.885
- We're making a movie!

1258
00:54:47.918 --> 00:54:50.621
Let's review the following;

1259
00:54:50.621 --> 00:54:53.724
I'm not gonna change the
way I look or the way

1260
00:54:53.758 --> 00:54:56.260
I feel to conform to anything,

1261
00:54:57.261 --> 00:54:59.330
I've always been a freak.

1262
00:55:00.465 --> 00:55:02.933
Okay, yeah, I've
never liked it either.

1263
00:55:02.933 --> 00:55:04.134
Okay, moving on.

1264
00:55:04.134 --> 00:55:07.838
Another one from another
John, a real 'Merican,

1265
00:55:07.905 --> 00:55:12.577
courage is being scared to
death but saddling up anyway.

1266
00:55:14.011 --> 00:55:17.348
And finally, screw
it, let's do it, yes!

1267
00:55:18.816 --> 00:55:21.352
Sir Richard Branson, yes!

1268
00:55:21.419 --> 00:55:23.354
- Are you freakin' kidding me?

1269
00:55:23.354 --> 00:55:24.855
This is what you've been doing

1270
00:55:24.855 --> 00:55:26.023
while we've been out there
risking our necks, huh?

1271
00:55:26.090 --> 00:55:27.925
- Yeah, it's what
I've been doing, and,

1272
00:55:27.925 --> 00:55:30.761
you know, getting art department
and a script together.

1273
00:55:30.795 --> 00:55:32.530
You can't have a movie
without a script.

1274
00:55:32.530 --> 00:55:34.198
- Yeah, and we can't
live without food, huh.

1275
00:55:34.264 --> 00:55:35.500
I should have been
on the red team.

1276
00:55:35.500 --> 00:55:36.967
- Hey, man!

1277
00:55:37.001 --> 00:55:40.638
We have like, enough gummy
bears to last a month!

1278
00:55:42.507 --> 00:55:43.374
Jeez, here!

1279
00:55:45.175 --> 00:55:47.945
- I'm not worried
about the food,

1280
00:55:47.978 --> 00:55:50.681
I'm worried about
being their food.

1281
00:55:50.681 --> 00:55:51.882
They're fast.

1282
00:55:51.949 --> 00:55:53.150
- Anything's faster
than you, brother,

1283
00:55:53.183 --> 00:55:56.387
the way you keep
smoking that shit.

1284
00:55:56.387 --> 00:55:57.888
- Don't hate, man!

1285
00:55:58.889 --> 00:56:00.491
- Woah, woah, guys!

1286
00:56:00.525 --> 00:56:01.992
- Okay, okay, okay!

1287
00:56:01.992 --> 00:56:03.994
- Woah, guys, seriously!

1288
00:56:04.028 --> 00:56:05.530
Come on, guys!

1289
00:56:05.530 --> 00:56:09.133
- Mr. Pentergass, report
to the principal's office,

1290
00:56:09.133 --> 00:56:11.536
once you stop dicking around.

1291
00:56:22.312 --> 00:56:23.848
So, Mr. Pentergass,

1292
00:56:27.918 --> 00:56:30.521
what do you have to
say for yourself?

1293
00:56:30.555 --> 00:56:33.157
- I'm sorry sir, I didn't
think using the school

1294
00:56:33.157 --> 00:56:34.892
would be a big deal,
it's been abandoned,

1295
00:56:34.892 --> 00:56:37.394
- Mr. Pentergass,
I've heard it once,

1296
00:56:37.394 --> 00:56:39.830
I've heard it a thousand times.

1297
00:56:39.864 --> 00:56:40.698
Spare me.

1298
00:56:42.099 --> 00:56:45.603
Pentergass, this calls
for greater action.

1299
00:56:46.837 --> 00:56:48.839
This calls for something
way more sizable

1300
00:56:48.839 --> 00:56:50.040
in my response.

1301
00:56:52.109 --> 00:56:54.211
This calls for Priscilla.

1302
00:56:55.279 --> 00:56:56.581
'Scuse me, sir?

1303
00:56:56.581 --> 00:56:57.582
- Priscilla!

1304
00:57:00.585 --> 00:57:02.553
Meet Priscilla, Mr. Pentergass!

1305
00:57:02.553 --> 00:57:04.088
- Mr. Johnson you
have a big gun, sir,

1306
00:57:04.088 --> 00:57:06.691
- Shall we make a zombie film?

1307
00:57:06.724 --> 00:57:08.926
(laughing)

1308
00:57:18.068 --> 00:57:20.304
(grunting)

1309
00:57:24.975 --> 00:57:25.910
- Hit me here.

1310
00:57:25.943 --> 00:57:28.212
Yo, hit me here, hit me here.

1311
00:57:28.212 --> 00:57:29.279
- Hey!

1312
00:57:29.279 --> 00:57:30.114
Listen up!

1313
00:57:31.315 --> 00:57:34.218
- Thank you, Pam.
- You're welcome.

1314
00:57:37.421 --> 00:57:40.658
- Alright, this is
where it all begins.

1315
00:57:42.259 --> 00:57:46.931
This is where they discover
something's not quite right.

1316
00:57:46.931 --> 00:57:51.769
They see some folks on the
side of the road, they're hurt,

1317
00:57:53.437 --> 00:57:54.438
or are they?

1318
00:57:57.608 --> 00:57:59.744
Let's make a movie!
- Yeah!

1319
00:57:59.744 --> 00:58:01.411
- Let's make a movie!

1320
00:58:02.980 --> 00:58:05.315
- Jose, Eldad, crafty.

1321
00:58:05.315 --> 00:58:08.653
(speaks in foreign language)

1322
00:58:08.653 --> 00:58:09.654
- Hey, now which direction

1323
00:58:09.654 --> 00:58:10.855
are we shooting in again?

1324
00:58:10.921 --> 00:58:12.156
- We're gonna shoot all
the way down the road,

1325
00:58:12.156 --> 00:58:13.357
so make sure it's
clear down there.

1326
00:58:13.423 --> 00:58:17.127
- Alright, you got it,
partner, let's do this!

1327
00:58:18.963 --> 00:58:21.098
- Next, maestro?

1328
00:58:21.098 --> 00:58:24.802
(speaks in foreign language)

1329
00:58:24.835 --> 00:58:26.036
- Quiet on set!

1330
00:58:27.838 --> 00:58:29.006
- Sound speed.
- Speed.

1331
00:58:29.006 --> 00:58:30.641
- Roll camera.

1332
00:58:30.675 --> 00:58:31.876
- Rolling, rolling.

1333
00:58:31.876 --> 00:58:33.678
- You guys ready for awesome?

1334
00:58:33.678 --> 00:58:34.511
- Yeah.

1335
00:58:35.880 --> 00:58:37.715
- Release the zombies!

1336
00:58:38.949 --> 00:58:40.050
- Go, go, go!

1337
00:58:40.050 --> 00:58:42.452
- Ey, ey, c'mon, zombies, go!

1338
00:58:43.688 --> 00:58:45.522
- Go, go, go, zombies, go!

1339
00:58:45.556 --> 00:58:46.490
- C'mon!

1340
00:58:46.523 --> 00:58:48.693
(speaks in foreign language)

1341
00:58:48.693 --> 00:58:50.861
Come on you little shit, go!

1342
00:58:50.861 --> 00:58:51.729
Go, go, go!

1343
00:58:52.863 --> 00:58:55.499
- Come on zombies, go!
- Pistol?

1344
00:58:55.499 --> 00:58:57.167
Release the zombies!

1345
00:58:58.135 --> 00:58:59.804
- They won't go!

1346
00:58:59.837 --> 00:59:01.672
- Pistol, they ain't
like cattle or horses,

1347
00:59:01.706 --> 00:59:03.373
I don't know how to do this!

1348
00:59:03.373 --> 00:59:05.710
- Just get back there
and give 'em a hand!

1349
00:59:05.710 --> 00:59:07.077
- Sam, I'm trying!

1350
00:59:07.077 --> 00:59:08.378
You wanna come do this?

1351
00:59:08.378 --> 00:59:10.915
- Dani, hit them in the ribcage!

1352
00:59:10.981 --> 00:59:12.182
- Alright, I'm tryin'!

1353
00:59:12.216 --> 00:59:13.751
- C'mon, blood,
blood over there!

1354
00:59:13.751 --> 00:59:14.985
Blood!

1355
00:59:15.019 --> 00:59:15.720
- Alright you guys,
brace yourselves,

1356
00:59:15.720 --> 00:59:16.854
here we go.

1357
00:59:16.887 --> 00:59:18.355
- Zombies el prontos, pronto!

1358
00:59:18.355 --> 00:59:20.758
- Go get that
blonde girl, c'mon!

1359
00:59:20.758 --> 00:59:23.493
(dramatic music)

1360
00:59:29.266 --> 00:59:31.335
- What the fuck was that?

1361
00:59:32.670 --> 00:59:33.704
- Oh, shit.

1362
00:59:33.738 --> 00:59:35.405
- C'mon, zombies, go!

1363
00:59:35.405 --> 00:59:37.775
Go for that blonde girl!

1364
00:59:37.775 --> 00:59:39.176
- She's handicap.

1365
00:59:40.210 --> 00:59:41.078
- She okay?

1366
00:59:42.579 --> 00:59:45.415
- Course she's not okay,
she's a damn zombie!

1367
00:59:45.415 --> 00:59:46.951
- No I know, but is
she gonna get back

1368
00:59:47.017 --> 00:59:48.518
in the wheelchair?

1369
00:59:48.552 --> 00:59:49.754
- She ain't going anywhere,

1370
00:59:49.754 --> 00:59:51.255
she's crippled, Sam.

1371
00:59:51.255 --> 00:59:52.790
- Already down a
zombie and we haven't

1372
00:59:52.857 --> 00:59:55.225
even got the first
shot off, bro!

1373
00:59:55.259 --> 00:59:56.093
- Dammit.

1374
00:59:57.561 --> 01:00:01.565
Dani, I said slow zombies
not completely paralyzed!

1375
01:00:01.598 --> 01:00:05.970
- I know, I guess we just
got all the defective ones!

1376
01:00:09.239 --> 01:00:11.108
- Okay, they're out!

1377
01:00:11.108 --> 01:00:12.209
Quiet on set.

1378
01:00:13.210 --> 01:00:14.544
Action!

1379
01:00:14.544 --> 01:00:16.714
(yelling)

1380
01:00:22.319 --> 01:00:23.153
- Yeah?

1381
01:00:23.153 --> 01:00:23.988
Yeah?

1382
01:00:25.155 --> 01:00:26.090
- Let's tone it down a bit.

1383
01:00:26.123 --> 01:00:28.092
Just a smidgen, sweetheart.

1384
01:00:28.092 --> 01:00:29.760
Yeah, you're going
to scare the zombies.

1385
01:00:29.760 --> 01:00:30.761
- Come on, guys!

1386
01:00:30.761 --> 01:00:32.262
Just start running, let's go!

1387
01:00:32.262 --> 01:00:34.264
- Hey, let's just shoot some
tights and fix it in post.

1388
01:00:34.264 --> 01:00:35.465
- We're not gonna fix
shit in post, Popper,

1389
01:00:35.465 --> 01:00:36.901
you just gotta get the shot.

1390
01:00:36.934 --> 01:00:37.768
- Okay.

1391
01:00:37.768 --> 01:00:39.970
- Tiffany, look scared!

1392
01:00:39.970 --> 01:00:42.506
- She's too hot to look scared.

1393
01:00:44.474 --> 01:00:45.976
- Come on, guys,
just start running!

1394
01:00:45.976 --> 01:00:48.846
- Okay, now when you're
running, really exaggerate.

1395
01:00:48.846 --> 01:00:50.614
- Alright look, you're scared,

1396
01:00:50.647 --> 01:00:53.017
the zombies are coming, they're
gonna rip your face off!

1397
01:00:53.017 --> 01:00:55.252
You gotta run to the car, c'mon!

1398
01:00:55.285 --> 01:00:57.021
- You look stupid!

1399
01:00:57.021 --> 01:00:58.522
- Tiffany, stay in
character, c'mon.

1400
01:00:58.588 --> 01:01:01.125
- Whatever happened
to less is more, huh?

1401
01:01:01.158 --> 01:01:02.960
- Okay, let's go.

1402
01:01:02.960 --> 01:01:05.195
C'mon, c'mon, woman!
- I don't want to!

1403
01:01:05.195 --> 01:01:07.364
(yelling)

1404
01:01:08.532 --> 01:01:09.366
Go, go!

1405
01:01:10.334 --> 01:01:11.168
- I'm trying!

1406
01:01:11.168 --> 01:01:12.002
- Go, go!

1407
01:01:16.006 --> 01:01:17.007
- Cut!

1408
01:01:17.007 --> 01:01:17.975
Beautiful!

1409
01:01:18.008 --> 01:01:19.176
Yeah, alright!

1410
01:01:20.444 --> 01:01:21.545
Very good.

1411
01:01:21.545 --> 01:01:23.113
- Hey, Sam, man.

1412
01:01:23.147 --> 01:01:26.283
What's the plan on
getting them back in?

1413
01:01:26.283 --> 01:01:27.818
- Oh, shit.

1414
01:01:27.852 --> 01:01:29.186
Uh, that's a good question.

1415
01:01:29.186 --> 01:01:30.387
- Oh...

1416
01:01:30.387 --> 01:01:31.555
Alright, time to go,
people, let's go!

1417
01:01:31.621 --> 01:01:33.290
- I should get some of this!

1418
01:01:33.290 --> 01:01:34.191
- Move, move!

1419
01:01:34.191 --> 01:01:35.125
- Move, move, move, move!

1420
01:01:35.159 --> 01:01:36.360
- Pistol, get the zombies!

1421
01:01:36.360 --> 01:01:38.996
- I'm gettin' this,
I'm gettin' this!

1422
01:01:39.029 --> 01:01:40.664
- How are we with these idiots?

1423
01:01:40.664 --> 01:01:42.166
- This is crazy.

1424
01:01:42.199 --> 01:01:43.467
- Carl, Carl, come on!

1425
01:01:43.467 --> 01:01:46.303
Dude, what's wrong
with your eyes?

1426
01:01:48.205 --> 01:01:50.174
- You're fucked up, man.

1427
01:01:52.576 --> 01:01:55.813
You went too far,
now you're gonna pay.

1428
01:01:57.047 --> 01:01:58.816
- [Reporter] This
is a special report.

1429
01:01:58.816 --> 01:02:00.217
Why, America, why?

1430
01:02:01.485 --> 01:02:03.187
Our investigative
team is on the hunt

1431
01:02:03.220 --> 01:02:07.324
for the cause of the
chaos in Corsicana.

1432
01:02:07.324 --> 01:02:09.994
- I frequently,
we, support a lot

1433
01:02:10.027 --> 01:02:11.595
of charitable organizations.

1434
01:02:11.595 --> 01:02:14.698
Locally and nationally,
internationally.

1435
01:02:14.731 --> 01:02:18.568
- So me and my son and my
grandson, Bubba and Bubba Jr.,

1436
01:02:18.568 --> 01:02:20.938
we drink a 30-pack together.

1437
01:02:21.005 --> 01:02:22.840
And that night I
have this idea; hey,

1438
01:02:22.840 --> 01:02:26.243
what if we got liberals
to send us money?

1439
01:02:27.778 --> 01:02:30.280
- It's the Worldwide
Redneck Fund,

1440
01:02:30.347 --> 01:02:34.351
and it allows people like
us to adopt a redneck.

1441
01:02:36.586 --> 01:02:39.924
- You know, it's like adopt
a kid over there in Africa,

1442
01:02:39.924 --> 01:02:41.025
you know, them
little black kids,

1443
01:02:41.025 --> 01:02:42.726
you can feed one for 10 cents.

1444
01:02:42.759 --> 01:02:45.062
- Occasionally he
would ask for cash.

1445
01:02:45.062 --> 01:02:47.031
- You know, we got certain
rights, and that's a right

1446
01:02:47.031 --> 01:02:49.900
to worship God, a right
to carry my gun...

1447
01:02:49.934 --> 01:02:51.768
- And I thought we
were making progress.

1448
01:02:51.768 --> 01:02:53.603
He said to me once,
I'm considering

1449
01:02:53.637 --> 01:02:56.974
about going gluten
free for a week.

1450
01:02:56.974 --> 01:02:59.910
- And I don't know what the
other ones are, the other ones

1451
01:02:59.944 --> 01:03:00.878
don't even matter.

1452
01:03:00.878 --> 01:03:02.079
- The latest gun that he bought,

1453
01:03:02.112 --> 01:03:03.147
he didn't name it.

1454
01:03:03.147 --> 01:03:04.148
- Oh, Ethyl?

1455
01:03:04.148 --> 01:03:06.083
This is my AR10.

1456
01:03:06.116 --> 01:03:08.785
- What's happening in Texas
is certainly distressing

1457
01:03:08.785 --> 01:03:10.720
and we're all concerned.

1458
01:03:10.754 --> 01:03:12.489
- We got a silencer
or suppressor on it.

1459
01:03:12.489 --> 01:03:16.160
- What I think my wife
is trying to say is--

1460
01:03:17.627 --> 01:03:20.464
- Please don't tell me what
I'm trying to say, thank you,

1461
01:03:20.464 --> 01:03:22.632
I know what I'm trying to say.

1462
01:03:22.632 --> 01:03:25.235
- The more money we have
the more bullets we can get.

1463
01:03:25.269 --> 01:03:28.272
- I sent 400
recycling containers.

1464
01:03:28.305 --> 01:03:29.573
- The more stuff we can shoot.

1465
01:03:29.573 --> 01:03:32.943
- You sent four hundred
recycling bins to Bubba?

1466
01:03:32.977 --> 01:03:35.445
- There's a lot of things
wrong with this country.

1467
01:03:35.445 --> 01:03:37.581
- I thought Bubba was
a place in Ethiopia.

1468
01:03:37.581 --> 01:03:39.316
- There ain't no
daddies anymore.

1469
01:03:39.316 --> 01:03:41.818
- Do they even recycle in Texas?

1470
01:03:41.852 --> 01:03:42.953
- Killed a lot of hogs.

1471
01:03:42.987 --> 01:03:44.354
- I sent him kombucha.

1472
01:03:44.354 --> 01:03:45.990
- Money started pourin' in, man.

1473
01:03:45.990 --> 01:03:47.992
- The poems of Maya Angelou.

1474
01:03:48.025 --> 01:03:49.626
- Let freedom ring!

1475
01:03:51.095 --> 01:03:54.264
- You know I could use a
little kombucha right now.

1476
01:03:54.298 --> 01:03:56.133
- Okay, guys, I
know we're tired,

1477
01:03:56.166 --> 01:03:57.501
I know it took us a
while to get here,

1478
01:03:57.501 --> 01:03:59.136
I know we're down to our
last two bags of chips,

1479
01:03:59.136 --> 01:04:02.039
but listen, we got
great stuff back there,

1480
01:04:02.039 --> 01:04:04.774
and yeah, we had to
strike fast and we left

1481
01:04:04.808 --> 01:04:07.111
some stuff behind, and
Carl's probably dead,

1482
01:04:07.111 --> 01:04:11.181
but what is the classic
location for a zombie movie?

1483
01:04:11.181 --> 01:04:12.316
- Corsicana, Texas.

1484
01:04:12.349 --> 01:04:13.550
- Yes, more local though.

1485
01:04:13.550 --> 01:04:15.385
- Cemetery?
- No.

1486
01:04:15.385 --> 01:04:16.887
- Hospital.
- No.

1487
01:04:16.954 --> 01:04:17.854
- Black hole?

1488
01:04:17.854 --> 01:04:19.189
- Okay, that's above our budget.

1489
01:04:19.189 --> 01:04:20.190
- Oh!

1490
01:04:20.190 --> 01:04:21.625
Ninja dojo!

1491
01:04:21.658 --> 01:04:23.527
- That's very gratuitous.
- Submarine.

1492
01:04:23.527 --> 01:04:24.361
- A theater!

1493
01:04:24.394 --> 01:04:25.629
An abandoned theater!

1494
01:04:25.662 --> 01:04:28.332
With concessions.
- They got beer?

1495
01:04:28.332 --> 01:04:32.002
- Guys, we're
hungry, I'm starving.

1496
01:04:32.002 --> 01:04:33.904
Let's kill two birds
with one stone,

1497
01:04:33.904 --> 01:04:34.905
or one shot!

1498
01:04:36.373 --> 01:04:38.042
Huh?
- Really?

1499
01:04:38.042 --> 01:04:40.978
- Okay, come on, let's go.

1500
01:04:41.011 --> 01:04:43.747
(dramatic music)

1501
01:04:55.492 --> 01:04:56.326
Action!

1502
01:05:00.564 --> 01:05:02.099
- Sam!

1503
01:05:02.099 --> 01:05:05.269
Listen, why are
you filming this?

1504
01:05:05.269 --> 01:05:07.171
- Stay in character.

1505
01:05:07.204 --> 01:05:11.041
- I would love to, but I do
not know what I am playing.

1506
01:05:11.041 --> 01:05:13.377
- Fellatio, just go with it,

1507
01:05:13.377 --> 01:05:14.711
you're screwing up the scene.

1508
01:05:14.711 --> 01:05:15.879
- Alright guys, we've
got to do this again.

1509
01:05:15.879 --> 01:05:17.381
Please, stop breaking
the fourth wall.

1510
01:05:17.414 --> 01:05:20.384
- Negative, this is a
search and destroy mission,

1511
01:05:20.384 --> 01:05:22.886
there's only one way; forward!

1512
01:05:25.122 --> 01:05:27.757
- Follow the man with the gun.

1513
01:05:27.757 --> 01:05:30.127
(soft music)

1514
01:05:42.706 --> 01:05:44.608
- Nut up, ya pansies,
I'm covering the rear.

1515
01:05:44.608 --> 01:05:46.410
- Yes captain, my captain.

1516
01:05:46.443 --> 01:05:51.148
- Guys, stay together, we've
got to make sure it's clear.

1517
01:06:05.095 --> 01:06:06.430
- Hey, Fellatio!

1518
01:06:08.632 --> 01:06:09.966
- Holy shit, ah!

1519
01:06:15.805 --> 01:06:16.640
Okay.

1520
01:06:19.809 --> 01:06:22.112
(laughs)

1521
01:06:22.146 --> 01:06:23.247
Look at that.

1522
01:06:26.583 --> 01:06:28.518
- There's a concessions.

1523
01:06:28.518 --> 01:06:29.519
Okay, Popper, take this.

1524
01:06:29.519 --> 01:06:30.354
- Yup.

1525
01:06:32.256 --> 01:06:36.160
- Okay, Tibo, Jojo, try
to sneak around, right?

1526
01:06:37.327 --> 01:06:38.795
You gotta get back there
but there are zombies,

1527
01:06:38.828 --> 01:06:42.532
so try to get as close
as you can to them, okay?

1528
01:06:48.338 --> 01:06:51.175
Alright, alright, are you ready?

1529
01:06:51.175 --> 01:06:52.809
(growling)
- Ah, shit!

1530
01:06:52.842 --> 01:06:53.843
(yelling)

1531
01:06:53.843 --> 01:06:55.045
Shit, shit!

1532
01:06:55.112 --> 01:06:57.114
Help, she's gonna bite me!

1533
01:06:57.147 --> 01:06:58.148
- Okay, I got you, I got you!

1534
01:06:58.182 --> 01:06:59.116
- I'm acting.

1535
01:06:59.116 --> 01:06:59.949
- Shit!

1536
01:06:59.949 --> 01:07:00.684
(yelling)

1537
01:07:00.684 --> 01:07:01.518
Shit!

1538
01:07:01.518 --> 01:07:02.519
You gotta get her!

1539
01:07:02.519 --> 01:07:03.853
She's gonna bite
me, I'm serious!

1540
01:07:03.853 --> 01:07:05.189
What are you doing?

1541
01:07:05.222 --> 01:07:06.056
Get the shot!

1542
01:07:06.056 --> 01:07:07.057
- Okay, okay!

1543
01:07:07.057 --> 01:07:08.392
- Oh my God, oh God!

1544
01:07:08.458 --> 01:07:09.959
- I'm getting the shot!

1545
01:07:09.959 --> 01:07:10.960
- She's gonna kill me!

1546
01:07:10.960 --> 01:07:12.962
No I'm actually serious!

1547
01:07:16.300 --> 01:07:17.801
Did you get the shot?

1548
01:07:17.834 --> 01:07:19.236
- I don't know, I
was really confused.

1549
01:07:19.236 --> 01:07:20.070
- Yeah.

1550
01:07:20.070 --> 01:07:21.305
- Let's go, men!

1551
01:07:21.338 --> 01:07:23.006
We are in hostile territory!
- Oh shit.

1552
01:07:23.006 --> 01:07:25.975
Get up, get up, get up!
- Come on, come on!

1553
01:07:25.975 --> 01:07:28.312
- that's a negative,
Horatio, time to go, come on!

1554
01:07:28.312 --> 01:07:30.647
- I cut this guy's head off!

1555
01:07:33.049 --> 01:07:34.751
This is my moment.

1556
01:07:34.818 --> 01:07:36.520
- Hey, hey!
- What?

1557
01:07:36.553 --> 01:07:38.855
- I think it's Carl.

1558
01:07:38.855 --> 01:07:40.090
It's Carl, man!

1559
01:07:42.692 --> 01:07:43.760
- Wait, wait.

1560
01:07:44.928 --> 01:07:46.430
- Get the, get the
camera, get the camera!

1561
01:07:46.430 --> 01:07:48.932
- I don't think he notices us.

1562
01:07:50.767 --> 01:07:51.601
I got it, man!

1563
01:07:51.601 --> 01:07:52.436
I got it!

1564
01:07:52.436 --> 01:07:53.270
- Good job!

1565
01:07:53.270 --> 01:07:54.771
- Thanks, Carl!

1566
01:07:54.771 --> 01:07:56.340
- We miss you, bro!

1567
01:07:58.342 --> 01:08:01.911
- To be, or not to be,
that is the question.

1568
01:08:04.614 --> 01:08:06.116
- Go, go, oh shit!

1569
01:08:07.050 --> 01:08:08.051
Shit!

1570
01:08:08.084 --> 01:08:08.918
Fuck!

1571
01:08:08.918 --> 01:08:10.287
- Go, go, go, go!

1572
01:08:10.287 --> 01:08:13.022
- Go, go, go, go,
go, go, go, go!

1573
01:08:14.424 --> 01:08:16.693
Go, go, go, go,
go, go, go, go, go!

1574
01:08:16.726 --> 01:08:20.264
- Grab the door, hold
it, hold it, hold it!

1575
01:08:21.631 --> 01:08:23.233
- This way, troops!

1576
01:08:42.619 --> 01:08:43.720
- Oh man, oh!

1577
01:08:45.755 --> 01:08:46.923
He's been bit!

1578
01:08:48.792 --> 01:08:50.594
What are we going to do?

1579
01:08:50.594 --> 01:08:52.262
- I'm leaving, let's go.

1580
01:08:52.296 --> 01:08:54.464
(yelling)

1581
01:08:55.599 --> 01:08:56.500
- [Sam] Horatio, you're
going to be alright,

1582
01:08:56.500 --> 01:08:57.434
we're going to get you help.

1583
01:08:57.467 --> 01:08:59.102
- Oh give it a rest, Sam,

1584
01:08:59.102 --> 01:09:01.137
you know the script.

1585
01:09:01.137 --> 01:09:02.739
God that hurts!

1586
01:09:02.772 --> 01:09:03.640
That hurts!

1587
01:09:06.142 --> 01:09:08.111
- Can you actually
feel it coursing

1588
01:09:08.144 --> 01:09:09.279
through your veins?

1589
01:09:09.279 --> 01:09:10.580
- Uh, Sam, you
should see this, bro.

1590
01:09:10.580 --> 01:09:12.115
- Sam, Sam, listen to me!

1591
01:09:12.148 --> 01:09:14.017
- Now is not a good time,
not a good time, you guys!

1592
01:09:14.017 --> 01:09:15.185
- Sam!
- What?

1593
01:09:15.252 --> 01:09:16.186
What, fine!

1594
01:09:16.186 --> 01:09:18.322
What, what do you want?

1595
01:09:18.322 --> 01:09:20.324
- Come here, Sam.

1596
01:09:20.357 --> 01:09:22.025
- No.
- Sam, listen.

1597
01:09:22.091 --> 01:09:24.261
For fucks sake, I'm not
going to bite you, Sam,

1598
01:09:24.294 --> 01:09:25.495
just come here.

1599
01:09:26.696 --> 01:09:28.265
- Okay.
- God!

1600
01:09:28.298 --> 01:09:29.132
- Sam, no.

1601
01:09:32.369 --> 01:09:35.038
- Hey, I'll be alright.

1602
01:09:35.038 --> 01:09:36.340
I'll be alright.

1603
01:09:37.607 --> 01:09:38.842
Here.

1604
01:09:38.842 --> 01:09:39.676
- Mhm.

1605
01:09:41.010 --> 01:09:42.111
It's your life.

1606
01:09:42.111 --> 01:09:43.513
- Sam, Sam, Sam, listen to me,

1607
01:09:43.513 --> 01:09:45.715
I want to tell you something.

1608
01:09:45.782 --> 01:09:49.453
I want to ask you
something, rather.

1609
01:09:49.486 --> 01:09:50.987
Look at me.

1610
01:09:51.020 --> 01:09:52.456
- Okay.

1611
01:09:52.456 --> 01:09:55.659
- Do you know how
much your films suck?

1612
01:09:57.627 --> 01:09:59.496
They are horrible, Sam.

1613
01:10:00.630 --> 01:10:01.465
- Okay.

1614
01:10:01.465 --> 01:10:02.299
- Stop it, Sam!

1615
01:10:02.299 --> 01:10:03.132
Look at me, look at me!

1616
01:10:03.132 --> 01:10:04.501
- Okay, Horatio!

1617
01:10:04.534 --> 01:10:08.171
I'm looking at you.
- They are horrendous, Sam!

1618
01:10:09.473 --> 01:10:13.142
You are a talentless
sack of shit, but this,

1619
01:10:16.413 --> 01:10:19.015
this is something truly genius.

1620
01:10:19.916 --> 01:10:20.750
Sam.

1621
01:10:21.851 --> 01:10:25.255
This could be something
really special.

1622
01:10:25.255 --> 01:10:26.490
- Okay.

1623
01:10:26.523 --> 01:10:30.193
- You need a good zombie
transformation scene.

1624
01:10:33.897 --> 01:10:34.731
Voila!

1625
01:10:37.233 --> 01:10:39.769
Just make sure that you get it.

1626
01:10:41.405 --> 01:10:42.772
Don't fuck it up!

1627
01:10:43.707 --> 01:10:45.074
- Okay!

1628
01:10:45.074 --> 01:10:46.343
- Promise me.

1629
01:10:46.376 --> 01:10:48.077
- Okay, I promise.

1630
01:10:48.077 --> 01:10:50.714
- Okay, we should
get to filming,

1631
01:10:50.747 --> 01:10:53.450
I'm really starting
not to feel good.

1632
01:10:53.450 --> 01:10:54.884
(yelling)

1633
01:10:54.918 --> 01:10:56.052
Ooh the anger!

1634
01:10:59.255 --> 01:11:00.457
- Okay.

1635
01:11:00.524 --> 01:11:02.191
- Okay, just um,
turn it on Popper,

1636
01:11:02.225 --> 01:11:03.360
turn on the camera, turn it on.

1637
01:11:03.360 --> 01:11:04.561
- I'm rolling, I'm rolling.

1638
01:11:04.594 --> 01:11:07.364
- Okay, everyone
settle, alright?

1639
01:11:07.364 --> 01:11:08.765
Quiet on the set.

1640
01:11:09.733 --> 01:11:10.600
Ready?

1641
01:11:10.600 --> 01:11:11.435
- Yeah.

1642
01:11:11.468 --> 01:11:12.736
- Sam, this isn't right.

1643
01:11:12.769 --> 01:11:14.538
We should be finding him help.

1644
01:11:14.538 --> 01:11:16.940
- Pam, I'm about to
shoot the most important

1645
01:11:16.940 --> 01:11:19.543
scene of my life, and his life,

1646
01:11:20.777 --> 01:11:22.612
which is just about over.

1647
01:11:22.612 --> 01:11:24.280
So just let me freakin' do this.

1648
01:11:24.280 --> 01:11:25.782
- Sam, this isn't okay!

1649
01:11:25.815 --> 01:11:27.116
- Alright, Tiffany.

1650
01:11:27.116 --> 01:11:28.084
You're up.
- No, no, no!

1651
01:11:28.117 --> 01:11:29.118
I'm not going near him!

1652
01:11:29.118 --> 01:11:30.119
- You are in the scene!

1653
01:11:30.119 --> 01:11:31.120
- I don't care!

1654
01:11:31.120 --> 01:11:32.121
No!

1655
01:11:32.121 --> 01:11:32.822
Dani will do it,
Dani will do it!

1656
01:11:32.822 --> 01:11:33.823
- No!
- Fine.

1657
01:11:33.890 --> 01:11:34.824
Dani, you're in.

1658
01:11:34.824 --> 01:11:35.659
Come on!

1659
01:11:35.659 --> 01:11:36.493
C'mon, c'mon, c'mon!

1660
01:11:36.493 --> 01:11:37.994
Right here, right here.

1661
01:11:37.994 --> 01:11:42.632
- Let's go, people, I am
actually dying over here.

1662
01:11:42.632 --> 01:11:45.301
- Come on, c'mon buddy, c'mon!

1663
01:11:45.335 --> 01:11:48.405
Turn around, face
to camera, alright.

1664
01:11:49.473 --> 01:11:50.840
Popper, here we go.

1665
01:11:50.907 --> 01:11:52.008
This is the shot!

1666
01:11:52.008 --> 01:11:53.410
- I got the shot.

1667
01:11:56.112 --> 01:11:56.913
- Okay.

1668
01:11:58.314 --> 01:12:02.452
Okay, this is the scene,
you found your best friend,

1669
01:12:02.486 --> 01:12:04.087
he's been bitten.

1670
01:12:04.087 --> 01:12:06.423
- Are you ready Ocean Spray?

1671
01:12:07.524 --> 01:12:08.492
- Yeah.

1672
01:12:08.492 --> 01:12:09.759
- Okay, action!

1673
01:12:13.497 --> 01:12:16.600
- I always knew that this town

1674
01:12:16.633 --> 01:12:19.769
was going to be the death of me!

1675
01:12:19.769 --> 01:12:23.773
All of these fat asses,
taking up all the space.

1676
01:12:25.174 --> 01:12:27.677
With their oversized derrieres

1677
01:12:29.145 --> 01:12:33.116
and their abundant bottoms
and their kingsize rumps!

1678
01:12:38.321 --> 01:12:39.155
Run!

1679
01:12:41.791 --> 01:12:44.628
Run.
(farting)

1680
01:12:44.628 --> 01:12:46.863
You can still get out,

1681
01:12:46.863 --> 01:12:49.799
unless you let the
ones like me go.

1682
01:12:54.404 --> 01:12:55.705
Shoot me!

1683
01:12:55.705 --> 01:12:56.540
- Spray!

1684
01:12:56.540 --> 01:12:57.541
Say the line.

1685
01:12:58.575 --> 01:12:59.876
Come on, say your line, man!

1686
01:12:59.876 --> 01:13:00.710
- Shoot me!

1687
01:13:02.045 --> 01:13:03.647
Shoot me, shoot me.

1688
01:13:05.214 --> 01:13:07.083
You skinny little shit!

1689
01:13:08.752 --> 01:13:12.589
Before I eat your little
slut of a girlfriend!

1690
01:13:14.157 --> 01:13:16.025
I'm coming, I'm coming!

1691
01:13:17.393 --> 01:13:18.394
I'm com, ah!

1692
01:13:20.930 --> 01:13:22.165
- Ocean!

1693
01:13:22.198 --> 01:13:23.366
- This is fucked up.

1694
01:13:23.366 --> 01:13:24.534
Is he supposed to do that?

1695
01:13:24.568 --> 01:13:26.903
- Dude, that's
not in the script!

1696
01:13:26.903 --> 01:13:28.237
- He's a zombie!

1697
01:13:29.238 --> 01:13:31.374
- Man, fuck this shit!

1698
01:13:31.407 --> 01:13:33.376
These are our
friends, you shoot it!

1699
01:13:33.376 --> 01:13:34.544
- Fine!

1700
01:13:34.578 --> 01:13:35.411
Eldad!

1701
01:13:36.279 --> 01:13:37.213
- Maestro!

1702
01:13:37.246 --> 01:13:39.248
- Sam, what are you doing?

1703
01:13:39.248 --> 01:13:40.249
- This is great.

1704
01:13:40.249 --> 01:13:41.585
- These are your friends!

1705
01:13:41.585 --> 01:13:44.420
- And I will tell their story!

1706
01:13:44.454 --> 01:13:46.456
(yelling)

1707
01:13:46.523 --> 01:13:48.692
(gun firing)

1708
01:13:48.725 --> 01:13:49.959
- Dammit!

1709
01:13:49.959 --> 01:13:51.427
Dammit, who did that?

1710
01:13:51.427 --> 01:13:52.929
I did not say cut!

1711
01:13:52.962 --> 01:13:57.400
- Sorry, Sam, I can't let
Horatio go out like that.

1712
01:13:57.433 --> 01:13:58.868
- (speaks in foreign
language) brother.

1713
01:13:58.868 --> 01:14:00.103
- Have you lost your mind?

1714
01:14:00.103 --> 01:14:01.437
This is sick!

1715
01:14:01.437 --> 01:14:03.607
- I have this under control.

1716
01:14:03.640 --> 01:14:04.941
- Under control?

1717
01:14:04.941 --> 01:14:05.942
- What is happening?

1718
01:14:05.942 --> 01:14:07.443
I thought he had to get bit!

1719
01:14:07.443 --> 01:14:08.812
Did anyone see him get bit?

1720
01:14:08.878 --> 01:14:10.446
- Have we all lost our minds?

1721
01:14:10.446 --> 01:14:13.950
- Did anyone see anything
unusual with Ocean?

1722
01:14:13.950 --> 01:14:16.119
- He had the serious cause
of the munchies, guys.

1723
01:14:16.152 --> 01:14:18.988
He ate like five
of these bitches!

1724
01:14:21.958 --> 01:14:24.561
- Shit, it's the Freedom Cakes!

1725
01:14:24.561 --> 01:14:26.730
(yelling)

1726
01:14:31.267 --> 01:14:34.003
- Oh my God, I
baked those things.

1727
01:14:34.003 --> 01:14:35.338
Does that mean I'm
going to turn into one?

1728
01:14:35.338 --> 01:14:36.172
How do I look?

1729
01:14:36.172 --> 01:14:37.240
- Stay away from me!

1730
01:14:37.273 --> 01:14:38.742
Those are gross!

1731
01:14:38.742 --> 01:14:41.778
- We bake to box at least
50,000 of those a day!

1732
01:14:41.811 --> 01:14:43.580
We just shipped a
shit ton of them out.

1733
01:14:43.580 --> 01:14:44.581
- Where?

1734
01:14:44.614 --> 01:14:45.782
- Nationwide!

1735
01:14:45.815 --> 01:14:48.184
- Oh my God, we're
all gonna die!

1736
01:14:49.653 --> 01:14:50.854
- We've got incoming, people.

1737
01:14:50.920 --> 01:14:52.421
Let's go, let's go,
into the theater!

1738
01:14:52.421 --> 01:14:53.657
- What about Horatio?

1739
01:14:53.657 --> 01:14:54.457
- There's nothing we
can do for him now.

1740
01:14:54.490 --> 01:14:55.992
Let's go, come on!

1741
01:14:57.193 --> 01:14:58.127
- Ocean!

1742
01:14:58.161 --> 01:14:59.195
- Come on Jessie, we have to go!

1743
01:14:59.195 --> 01:15:01.698
We have to go, Jessie, come on!

1744
01:15:04.834 --> 01:15:06.502
- Are you guys insane?

1745
01:15:06.502 --> 01:15:08.772
We are going to
finish this film,

1746
01:15:08.772 --> 01:15:10.674
we are going to be famous!

1747
01:15:10.674 --> 01:15:12.475
Get back in here!

1748
01:15:12.508 --> 01:15:13.677
Come on!

1749
01:15:13.677 --> 01:15:15.344
Oh, do it for Horatio!

1750
01:15:15.344 --> 01:15:18.014
(intense music)

1751
01:15:34.864 --> 01:15:36.532
- Come on, shh, shh.

1752
01:15:39.035 --> 01:15:40.904
Come on, lock the door.

1753
01:15:40.904 --> 01:15:42.038
- Okay, okay, I got it.

1754
01:15:42.038 --> 01:15:42.872
- Popper!

1755
01:15:42.872 --> 01:15:43.707
I'm sorry, alright?

1756
01:15:43.707 --> 01:15:44.540
I lost my head, man.

1757
01:15:44.540 --> 01:15:45.541
We gotta go!

1758
01:15:47.210 --> 01:15:48.544
What the?

1759
01:15:48.578 --> 01:15:50.079
- Sam, stay in character.

1760
01:15:50.146 --> 01:15:51.815
You gotta stay in
character, Sam.

1761
01:15:51.815 --> 01:15:53.049
- A dolly shot?

1762
01:15:54.417 --> 01:15:55.251
Okay.

1763
01:16:02.826 --> 01:16:04.661
- Why am I not a zombie?

1764
01:16:04.694 --> 01:16:05.695
- Popper!

1765
01:16:05.729 --> 01:16:06.996
- Hey.
- Popper, holy shit,

1766
01:16:06.996 --> 01:16:08.164
we gotta get out of here, man.

1767
01:16:08.164 --> 01:16:09.899
- Dude, look at this.

1768
01:16:09.899 --> 01:16:10.934
- Woah.

1769
01:16:11.000 --> 01:16:12.568
- Zombie hotties!

1770
01:16:12.568 --> 01:16:13.770
We gotta get this shot!

1771
01:16:13.837 --> 01:16:15.672
Yeah, you wanna
stream this movie?

1772
01:16:15.672 --> 01:16:17.173
Dudes are gonna look,
they're gonna see

1773
01:16:17.173 --> 01:16:20.176
no titties, sausagefest,
they go right through it.

1774
01:16:20.209 --> 01:16:21.244
- Yeah.
- Oh!

1775
01:16:22.545 --> 01:16:23.613
- I don't have the camera.

1776
01:16:23.613 --> 01:16:24.881
- What?

1777
01:16:24.914 --> 01:16:26.850
- Dude, we just got
to get out of here!

1778
01:16:26.850 --> 01:16:28.217
- Catch up to ya.

1779
01:16:32.756 --> 01:16:35.625
- Been saving this
for a long time.

1780
01:16:37.894 --> 01:16:39.428
I call it El Morte.

1781
01:16:41.765 --> 01:16:43.132
It's inside here.

1782
01:16:45.434 --> 01:16:46.269
Yeah.

1783
01:16:49.205 --> 01:16:51.040
- El Morte?
- El Morte.

1784
01:16:52.441 --> 01:16:54.543
- Dude, that wouldn't even
get a fifth grader high.

1785
01:16:54.577 --> 01:16:55.812
- Oh!

1786
01:16:55.812 --> 01:16:57.714
Famous last words, man.

1787
01:16:59.716 --> 01:17:00.583
Ready?

1788
01:17:00.616 --> 01:17:01.450
- Yeah.

1789
01:17:03.753 --> 01:17:05.922
(yelling)

1790
01:17:08.491 --> 01:17:11.327
- Oh, the Freedom Cakes.

1791
01:17:11.327 --> 01:17:13.096
Oh wait, the Freedom Cakes.

1792
01:17:13.129 --> 01:17:15.331
The, the, I'm not a zombie!

1793
01:17:19.836 --> 01:17:21.805
Oh my God, I'm not a zombie.

1794
01:17:21.805 --> 01:17:24.140
I am not, I am not a zombie.

1795
01:17:27.610 --> 01:17:29.478
- What's your name?

1796
01:17:29.478 --> 01:17:30.947
(yelling)

1797
01:17:30.980 --> 01:17:34.350
- And now we have exclusive
footage for you from Corsicana,

1798
01:17:34.350 --> 01:17:36.786
and the carnage that
is happening there.

1799
01:17:36.820 --> 01:17:38.454
People are rioting, screaming,

1800
01:17:38.454 --> 01:17:40.623
you'll notice fires
in the streets.

1801
01:17:40.623 --> 01:17:43.693
People appear to be in
nothing but survival mode,

1802
01:17:43.693 --> 01:17:45.661
using just their wits

1803
01:17:45.661 --> 01:17:48.331
and their surroundings
to survive what can only

1804
01:17:48.331 --> 01:17:51.868
understandably be viewed
as the apocalypse.

1805
01:17:56.172 --> 01:17:58.674
- These people are so blasted!

1806
01:18:01.377 --> 01:18:04.547
- Why aren't your lips moving?

1807
01:18:04.613 --> 01:18:06.682
- Isn't that your sister?

1808
01:18:07.984 --> 01:18:10.619
- Are my eyes still there?

1809
01:18:10.619 --> 01:18:12.021
- We're in Texas.

1810
01:18:20.163 --> 01:18:22.899
- Come on, come on, come on.

1811
01:18:22.899 --> 01:18:25.534
Yeah get back, come on, come on.

1812
01:18:25.534 --> 01:18:28.204
(horns honking)

1813
01:18:29.873 --> 01:18:32.408
(wind howling)

1814
01:18:43.820 --> 01:18:44.888
- [Sam] But look at them all.

1815
01:18:44.888 --> 01:18:46.055
These are my people.

1816
01:18:46.055 --> 01:18:47.891
They all want me, finally,

1817
01:18:47.891 --> 01:18:51.928
this whole town wants
me, they need me.

1818
01:18:51.995 --> 01:18:55.398
You can do this, Sam,
your day has come!

1819
01:18:55.398 --> 01:18:57.166
(farting)

1820
01:18:57.200 --> 01:18:58.534
- Hey!

1821
01:18:58.567 --> 01:19:02.405
I'm all out of bullets,
I'm going hand to hand!

1822
01:19:06.876 --> 01:19:08.111
- What are we going to do?

1823
01:19:08.111 --> 01:19:10.579
- Why don't we just
film ourselves dying?

1824
01:19:10.579 --> 01:19:12.715
- That's a great idea, buddy.

1825
01:19:12.748 --> 01:19:14.517
- Alright, I'm going
to draw them away.

1826
01:19:14.517 --> 01:19:15.919
I'm going that way, you guys.

1827
01:19:15.919 --> 01:19:19.088
Get o the streets, try
to get out of town.

1828
01:19:19.122 --> 01:19:20.857
- Sam, no, you don't
have to do this!

1829
01:19:20.890 --> 01:19:22.558
- Pam, I'm so sorry.

1830
01:19:26.229 --> 01:19:27.630
This is my fault.

1831
01:19:29.899 --> 01:19:33.369
Thank you, thank you for
always believing in me.

1832
01:19:33.369 --> 01:19:34.804
- Sam, Sam, no, you
don't have to do this.

1833
01:19:34.804 --> 01:19:35.872
- I love you.

1834
01:19:49.986 --> 01:19:50.887
- Sam!

1835
01:19:50.920 --> 01:19:52.155
(yelling)

1836
01:19:52.155 --> 01:19:53.556
Sam, Sam, no!
- Come on!

1837
01:19:53.589 --> 01:19:54.457
Come on!

1838
01:19:54.457 --> 01:19:55.458
Let's go!

1839
01:19:55.458 --> 01:19:56.792
Come on!

1840
01:19:56.792 --> 01:19:59.395
- Go get 'em, Sammy!
- Really?

1841
01:19:59.428 --> 01:20:01.797
Why does anyone ever
listen to that guy?

1842
01:20:01.797 --> 01:20:02.798
- Come on!

1843
01:20:02.798 --> 01:20:03.900
Let's go, come on, here!

1844
01:20:03.933 --> 01:20:04.834
Come on!

1845
01:20:04.834 --> 01:20:05.835
Here we go, come on!

1846
01:20:05.902 --> 01:20:08.137
This way, come on, come on.

1847
01:20:10.239 --> 01:20:12.341
I'm delicious, I'm tasty,

1848
01:20:12.341 --> 01:20:13.409
come on right over here!

1849
01:20:13.442 --> 01:20:14.643
Take a bite of me!

1850
01:20:14.643 --> 01:20:18.814
Yeah, yeah alright, yeah
you want some of this!

1851
01:20:18.814 --> 01:20:20.083
Yeah!

1852
01:20:20.116 --> 01:20:22.986
Muscle, a little bit
of fat for ya, yeah!

1853
01:20:22.986 --> 01:20:24.320
I'm a tasty man!

1854
01:20:26.122 --> 01:20:28.457
Right here, right here, yeah!

1855
01:20:28.457 --> 01:20:29.825
Look at these meaty thighs!

1856
01:20:29.825 --> 01:20:33.029
Yeah, yeah, yeah,
come on, let's go!

1857
01:20:33.096 --> 01:20:35.264
(yelling)

1858
01:20:49.778 --> 01:20:50.646
Well, shit.

1859
01:20:51.680 --> 01:20:53.182
Yeah, I'm a dead man.

1860
01:20:53.182 --> 01:20:55.018
Great idea, Samuel.

1861
01:20:55.051 --> 01:20:58.387
Look at this, that kid is
eating his mom's kneecap!

1862
01:20:58.454 --> 01:20:59.889
I have never seen
that, oh my God,

1863
01:20:59.889 --> 01:21:03.292
I don't even know what
that guy's eating.

1864
01:21:03.326 --> 01:21:04.493
What the hell?

1865
01:21:08.231 --> 01:21:09.065
Dammit.

1866
01:21:09.999 --> 01:21:11.700
Zombie rain?

1867
01:21:11.700 --> 01:21:15.038
Figures, now the heavens are
raining production value.

1868
01:21:15.038 --> 01:21:16.372
Man, this hurts!

1869
01:21:17.540 --> 01:21:20.709
Man, this movie was
going to be beautiful.

1870
01:21:28.251 --> 01:21:31.154
Feels good to
finally nail my part.

1871
01:21:38.494 --> 01:21:39.328
Eldad?

1872
01:21:40.263 --> 01:21:41.597
Nice shot, Eldad.

1873
01:21:41.664 --> 01:21:45.001
(speaks in foreign language)

1874
01:21:45.001 --> 01:21:46.569
- Sam, Sam!

1875
01:21:46.569 --> 01:21:47.570
Sam, you're gonna be okay,

1876
01:21:47.603 --> 01:21:48.938
we're gonna get you help.

1877
01:21:48.938 --> 01:21:52.108
- I'm sorry, guys, I'm
a shitty filmmaker.

1878
01:21:52.108 --> 01:21:53.276
- Yeah, yeah you are.

1879
01:21:53.342 --> 01:21:55.511
- What the hell is this?

1880
01:21:55.511 --> 01:21:58.447
(yelling)

1881
01:21:58.447 --> 01:22:00.349
- We're gonna get you
help, little buddy.

1882
01:22:00.383 --> 01:22:01.550
C'mon.

1883
01:22:01.550 --> 01:22:02.952
- Come on, come on, come on!

1884
01:22:02.952 --> 01:22:03.786
Go, go, go!

1885
01:22:03.786 --> 01:22:05.688
Go, go, go, go, go, go!

1886
01:22:07.923 --> 01:22:10.960
- [Tiffany] Hurry,
he's losing blood.

1887
01:22:17.133 --> 01:22:17.967
- Come on now, guys.

1888
01:22:17.967 --> 01:22:19.468
Hold up, wait on me!

1889
01:22:19.535 --> 01:22:20.936
I got a bad knee!

1890
01:22:22.972 --> 01:22:24.307
You sons of bitches!

1891
01:22:24.373 --> 01:22:26.375
I saved your lives
about 12 times tonight!

1892
01:22:26.409 --> 01:22:27.243
C'mon now!

1893
01:22:28.978 --> 01:22:31.247
(laughing)

1894
01:22:40.456 --> 01:22:45.161
- [Sam] I always knew this
town would be the death of me.

1895
01:22:46.629 --> 01:22:47.896
- What's this?

1896
01:22:47.930 --> 01:22:49.332
A red carpet premiere
into the great beyond?

1897
01:22:49.332 --> 01:22:50.566
Nope.

1898
01:22:50.599 --> 01:22:52.235
Turns out getting
bit just hurts,

1899
01:22:52.235 --> 01:22:54.803
it doesn't actually
turn you into one.

1900
01:22:54.803 --> 01:22:57.440
When the world goes to
shit, it's a gift I say.

1901
01:22:57.473 --> 01:22:59.675
What I needed was just
a little chaos to get

1902
01:22:59.675 --> 01:23:02.678
my shot, and it happened,
they gave it to me.

1903
01:23:02.678 --> 01:23:04.980
I got money, honey
wagons, respect,

1904
01:23:04.980 --> 01:23:07.650
20 something interns
happy as hell to get me

1905
01:23:07.650 --> 01:23:09.152
some shitty coffee drink.

1906
01:23:09.185 --> 01:23:12.421
I don't even like coffee,
I get one every 20 minutes!

1907
01:23:12.455 --> 01:23:13.856
God it feels good!

1908
01:23:13.856 --> 01:23:15.358
- I am beyond excited!

1909
01:23:15.424 --> 01:23:17.826
- Well I play myself,
so that's fun.

1910
01:23:17.826 --> 01:23:19.095
- Jojo!

1911
01:23:19.128 --> 01:23:21.630
- And that's where I get
to meet my leading man.

1912
01:23:21.664 --> 01:23:23.832
(yelling)

1913
01:23:35.044 --> 01:23:36.045
- It's the best day of my life,

1914
01:23:36.045 --> 01:23:37.380
thank you all so much!

1915
01:23:37.380 --> 01:23:38.881
Thank you, Corsicana!

1916
01:23:38.881 --> 01:23:40.149
- And spoiler alert,

1917
01:23:40.183 --> 01:23:42.351
are you guys expecting?

1918
01:23:42.351 --> 01:23:45.388
- Well we were expecting
to keep it a secret.

1919
01:23:45.388 --> 01:23:46.722
- I will see you in there!

1920
01:23:46.722 --> 01:23:47.556
Come on!

1921
01:23:50.393 --> 01:23:51.960
- As I sit here watching this,

1922
01:23:51.994 --> 01:23:54.630
it's like it's not me,
it's some different

1923
01:23:54.630 --> 01:23:56.632
version of me; an
imposter, it's a fake!

1924
01:23:56.665 --> 01:23:58.701
Which it is, I mean,
Ryan Reynolds looks

1925
01:23:58.701 --> 01:23:59.968
nothing like me.

1926
01:24:00.002 --> 01:24:01.670
I can't help but think
what would have happened

1927
01:24:01.704 --> 01:24:04.373
if I had actually gotten
into that shitty festival,

1928
01:24:04.373 --> 01:24:05.641
or what would have happened

1929
01:24:05.641 --> 01:24:08.211
if I hadn't lied about
the whole damn thing.

1930
01:24:08.211 --> 01:24:10.079
Oh well, by the
looks of the reviews,

1931
01:24:10.146 --> 01:24:11.814
I'm not getting
the chance to make

1932
01:24:11.847 --> 01:24:13.349
Fat Ass Zombies 2 anytime soon.

1933
01:24:13.382 --> 01:24:15.484
That's okay, I kind
of had my heart

1934
01:24:15.484 --> 01:24:19.355
on making Zombie Space
Vikings 2: The Horny Revenge.

1935
01:24:19.388 --> 01:24:21.324
- [Reporter] Parents beware,
the Freedom Cake Challenge

1936
01:24:21.324 --> 01:24:23.426
is sweeping social media.

1937
01:24:23.426 --> 01:24:24.860
Teenagers are finding
the deadly cakes

1938
01:24:24.893 --> 01:24:26.762
that haven't been
turned in and destroyed

1939
01:24:26.762 --> 01:24:29.565
by the authorities and are
filming themselves eating them.

1940
01:24:29.565 --> 01:24:31.434
This is a very
dangerous situation,

1941
01:24:31.500 --> 01:24:33.936
and we urge anyone with
knowledge of any cakes

1942
01:24:33.936 --> 01:24:36.705
still not turned in to
report it immediately.

1943
01:24:36.739 --> 01:24:39.275
And parents, please
make sure you speak

1944
01:24:39.275 --> 01:24:41.944
to your children about the
dangers of these cakes,

1945
01:24:41.944 --> 01:24:43.912
and also have Colin
Street Bakery Honey

1946
01:24:43.912 --> 01:24:45.214
in your cupboard.

1947
01:24:45.248 --> 01:24:47.049
As we reported earlier,
this honey was found

1948
01:24:47.049 --> 01:24:49.718
to be the only antidote
for anyone poisoned

1949
01:24:49.752 --> 01:24:51.520
by eating the cakes.

1950
01:24:51.520 --> 01:24:54.557
(intense rock music)

1951
01:25:00.863 --> 01:25:02.698
* It

1952
01:25:02.731 --> 01:25:05.634
* Ain't real

1953
01:25:05.634 --> 01:25:10.473
* Am I what I'm supposed to be

1954
01:25:10.473 --> 01:25:12.875
* I fear

1955
01:25:12.908 --> 01:25:15.578
* I'll disappear

1956
01:25:15.578 --> 01:25:20.583
* I'm losing touch with myself

1957
01:25:21.784 --> 01:25:24.153
* I dunno when to brace myself

1958
01:25:24.153 --> 01:25:26.455
* I dunno when to brace myself

1959
01:25:26.455 --> 01:25:28.957
* I dunno when to brace myself

1960
01:25:28.957 --> 01:25:30.926
* I dunno

1961
01:25:30.959 --> 01:25:34.163
* 'Cause I'm displaced

1962
01:25:41.437 --> 01:25:43.406
* It

1963
01:25:43.406 --> 01:25:46.442
* Ain't real

1964
01:25:46.475 --> 01:25:51.480
* Am I where I'm
supposed to be *

1965
01:25:52.114 --> 01:25:53.949
* I fear

1966
01:25:53.949 --> 01:25:56.785
* I'll disappear

1967
01:25:56.819 --> 01:26:01.757
* I'm losing touch with myself

1968
01:26:02.658 --> 01:26:05.160
* I dunno when to brace myself

1969
01:26:05.160 --> 01:26:07.530
* I dunno when to brace myself

1970
01:26:07.596 --> 01:26:10.132
* I dunno when to brace myself

1971
01:26:10.165 --> 01:26:12.034
* I dunno

1972
01:26:12.034 --> 01:26:15.271
* 'Cause I'm displaced

1973
01:26:25.781 --> 01:26:28.284
(funky music)

1974
01:26:36.625 --> 01:26:38.961
* Better get jumpin'

1975
01:26:38.994 --> 01:26:41.464
* Here come the boogeyman

1976
01:26:41.464 --> 01:26:43.966
* Better get bumpin'

1977
01:26:43.999 --> 01:26:46.369
* Here come the boogeyman

1978
01:26:46.369 --> 01:26:48.871
* Better get jumpin'

1979
01:26:48.904 --> 01:26:51.507
* Here come the boogeyman

1980
01:26:51.540 --> 01:26:53.809
* Better get walkin'

1981
01:26:53.809 --> 01:26:56.645
* Here come the boogeyman

1982
01:26:56.679 --> 01:27:01.584
* When the boogeyman
lose his heart *

1983
01:27:04.052 --> 01:27:08.724
* When the boogeyman,
his eyes get lost *