1 00:00:02,000 --> 00:00:07,000 Downloaded from YTS.MX 2 00:00:08,000 --> 00:00:13,000 Official YIFY movies site: YTS.MX 3 00:00:10,662 --> 00:00:11,968 [woman] Good, how are you? 4 00:00:12,055 --> 00:00:13,622 Nice to meet you. 5 00:00:13,709 --> 00:00:16,538 ♪♪ 6 00:00:16,625 --> 00:00:19,845 I wish I had lost a little weight for this. 7 00:00:19,932 --> 00:00:21,151 But maybe it's good. 8 00:00:23,110 --> 00:00:24,415 [men laughing] 9 00:00:29,986 --> 00:00:33,555 [man] You know what, I set button at the wrong time. 10 00:00:39,822 --> 00:00:41,128 [announcer] Ladies and gentlemen... 11 00:00:41,215 --> 00:00:43,043 [cheering and applause] 12 00:00:43,130 --> 00:00:45,045 ...Tim Heidecker! 13 00:00:45,132 --> 00:00:47,047 [cheering and applause] 14 00:00:47,134 --> 00:00:48,831 ♪♪ 15 00:00:48,918 --> 00:00:50,050 Hey! 16 00:00:50,137 --> 00:00:51,616 - [loud cheering] - Hey! 17 00:00:51,703 --> 00:00:53,792 What's going on? Whoo, shit! 18 00:00:53,879 --> 00:00:56,578 ♪♪ 19 00:00:56,665 --> 00:00:58,058 Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. 20 00:01:00,451 --> 00:01:01,844 Just don't fuckin' touch it. 21 00:01:02,888 --> 00:01:04,281 Oh, shit. 22 00:01:06,414 --> 00:01:07,632 Watch it. 23 00:01:08,764 --> 00:01:09,852 Uh... 24 00:01:11,375 --> 00:01:12,463 Uh... 25 00:01:17,555 --> 00:01:19,079 Fuckin' A! Fuckin' A! 26 00:01:19,166 --> 00:01:20,950 What the fuck's the matter with this? 27 00:01:21,037 --> 00:01:23,953 ♪♪ 28 00:01:36,357 --> 00:01:37,445 One, two. 29 00:01:49,283 --> 00:01:50,501 This should be up. 30 00:01:56,333 --> 00:01:57,726 What are you gonna do? I can't fuckin' do it. 31 00:01:57,813 --> 00:01:59,293 I don't know what I'm doing. 32 00:02:02,948 --> 00:02:05,864 ♪♪ 33 00:02:11,914 --> 00:02:13,176 This has to be fuckin' down. 34 00:02:17,702 --> 00:02:20,618 ♪♪ 35 00:02:29,932 --> 00:02:31,412 This is what I'm fuckin' talking about. 36 00:02:31,499 --> 00:02:33,283 This doesn't fuckin' go in. 37 00:02:33,370 --> 00:02:35,198 One, two. Thank you. 38 00:02:35,285 --> 00:02:37,896 ♪♪ 39 00:02:37,983 --> 00:02:39,289 Okay, thank you. 40 00:02:39,376 --> 00:02:40,812 Let's start it again from the... 41 00:02:40,899 --> 00:02:44,729 [crowd cheering] 42 00:02:44,816 --> 00:02:46,296 All right, thank you. Can you cut the music? 43 00:02:46,383 --> 00:02:47,819 We'll just start from the top. 44 00:02:47,906 --> 00:02:49,386 Uh... 45 00:02:49,473 --> 00:02:50,953 Thank you, Brook. Can you cut the-- 46 00:02:51,040 --> 00:02:52,868 Hey, John, can you cut the music, please? 47 00:02:52,955 --> 00:02:54,391 - Cut the music. - [music continues] 48 00:02:54,478 --> 00:02:55,958 [indistinct] 49 00:02:56,045 --> 00:02:57,742 We're changing this. We'll take it from one. 50 00:02:57,829 --> 00:03:01,137 Just cut the... Can you cut the fuckin' music, John? 51 00:03:01,224 --> 00:03:02,530 Turn the... John. 52 00:03:02,617 --> 00:03:05,402 Turn the fuckin' music off, John! 53 00:03:05,489 --> 00:03:07,404 - Turn it the fuck off! - [music continues] 54 00:03:07,491 --> 00:03:08,797 The fuck is the matter with you? 55 00:03:08,884 --> 00:03:11,060 Fuck you! 56 00:03:11,147 --> 00:03:13,454 The fuck! 57 00:03:13,541 --> 00:03:15,760 Why don't they fuckin' get it? 58 00:03:15,847 --> 00:03:18,154 Get the fuckin' music off! 59 00:03:18,241 --> 00:03:22,071 Turn the fuckin' music! Turn the fuckin' music off! 60 00:03:22,158 --> 00:03:24,508 The fuck is the matter with you? 61 00:03:24,595 --> 00:03:26,989 - Turn it the fuck off! - [music continues] 62 00:03:27,076 --> 00:03:28,295 - Turn it the fuck... - [music stops] 63 00:03:28,382 --> 00:03:30,079 Thank you. Okay, all right. 64 00:03:30,166 --> 00:03:32,516 [scattered cheering, applause] 65 00:03:35,911 --> 00:03:37,956 This whole setup, this whole fuckin' place 66 00:03:38,043 --> 00:03:39,697 has been a nightmare. 67 00:03:39,784 --> 00:03:42,439 I've been here since 6:00 in the fuckin' morning 68 00:03:42,526 --> 00:03:44,180 teching this goddamn show. 69 00:03:44,267 --> 00:03:46,748 And everybody here, I'm talking the camera guys, 70 00:03:46,835 --> 00:03:48,750 the fuckin'... the people that work here 71 00:03:48,837 --> 00:03:51,840 have been treating me like shit from the minute I got here. 72 00:03:53,755 --> 00:03:55,365 And they get this junk. 73 00:03:55,452 --> 00:03:57,672 This fuckin' shit from Guitar Center, 74 00:03:57,759 --> 00:04:00,370 these mic stands, and it's been a setup. 75 00:04:00,457 --> 00:04:02,503 I mean, it's been a fuckin' setup. 76 00:04:04,896 --> 00:04:07,203 Are you happy? Are we happy to be here tonight? 77 00:04:07,290 --> 00:04:09,771 [crowd cheering] 78 00:04:09,858 --> 00:04:13,383 Let's hear it. Friday night. TGIF! 79 00:04:13,470 --> 00:04:15,690 [cheering and applause] 80 00:04:15,777 --> 00:04:17,953 A water. I need a water. 81 00:04:18,040 --> 00:04:19,824 Let's go, come on! 82 00:04:23,132 --> 00:04:24,438 Wow. 83 00:04:26,831 --> 00:04:28,616 [whistles] 84 00:04:38,669 --> 00:04:40,192 Thank you, ladies and gentlemen. 85 00:04:40,280 --> 00:04:41,933 My name is Tim Heidecker. I'm a comedian. 86 00:04:42,020 --> 00:04:43,500 When I tell people that, they say, "What do you mean? 87 00:04:43,587 --> 00:04:46,329 Like Tim Allen?" I say, "A-whoo!" 88 00:04:49,767 --> 00:04:52,727 Uh, little bit about myself. 89 00:04:52,814 --> 00:04:55,556 I was just recently named one of the top five 90 00:04:55,643 --> 00:04:58,036 funniest people in America by a comedy magazine. 91 00:04:58,123 --> 00:05:00,169 - [scattered whooping] - Thank you. 92 00:05:02,432 --> 00:05:04,565 Uh, what else? Um... 93 00:05:08,830 --> 00:05:10,266 I'm a guy's guy. 94 00:05:10,353 --> 00:05:11,659 I think we should get that out of the way. 95 00:05:11,746 --> 00:05:13,878 I know, I'm a guy's guy. Hello. 96 00:05:13,965 --> 00:05:18,056 I'm a guy's guy. I love T and A, right? 97 00:05:18,143 --> 00:05:19,623 Wait, no, no, no. 98 00:05:19,710 --> 00:05:21,582 The PC police are like... [mimics siren] 99 00:05:21,669 --> 00:05:24,802 We got a criminal here, but everybody can relax. 100 00:05:24,889 --> 00:05:27,544 Everybody can take it down because when I say T and A, 101 00:05:27,631 --> 00:05:31,243 I'm talking about tokin' and ale, so... 102 00:05:39,339 --> 00:05:40,818 What else? I love food. 103 00:05:40,905 --> 00:05:42,690 Is everybody here... I mean, I love food. 104 00:05:42,777 --> 00:05:44,474 I guess I'm a foodie. I don't know. 105 00:05:44,561 --> 00:05:47,129 [laughing] I'm a foodie. 106 00:05:47,216 --> 00:05:48,870 Sue me, I'm a foodie. 107 00:05:48,957 --> 00:05:50,915 I, uh... 108 00:05:51,002 --> 00:05:52,613 I said to my friend, and he said, 109 00:05:52,700 --> 00:05:54,005 "You gotta use this in the show," 110 00:05:54,092 --> 00:05:57,966 I said, um, I said... 111 00:05:58,053 --> 00:06:00,621 "If I ever get to go to another planet," right? 112 00:06:00,708 --> 00:06:02,449 I said, "If I ever get to go to another planet, 113 00:06:02,536 --> 00:06:05,539 I will not be saying, 'Take me to your leader.'" 114 00:06:05,626 --> 00:06:06,627 Right, you see that in the movies. 115 00:06:06,714 --> 00:06:08,063 "Take me to your leader." 116 00:06:08,150 --> 00:06:10,587 I'll be saying, "Take me to your sushi." 117 00:06:13,242 --> 00:06:14,983 That's what a foodie I am. 118 00:06:15,070 --> 00:06:17,377 Um... 119 00:06:17,464 --> 00:06:19,030 So, listen, folks, like I said, 120 00:06:19,117 --> 00:06:20,728 I'm one of the top five comedians in the country. 121 00:06:20,815 --> 00:06:22,904 And... 122 00:06:22,991 --> 00:06:26,081 I, uh, I've been doing this for a long time. 123 00:06:26,168 --> 00:06:27,822 Been doing this for about ten years. 124 00:06:27,909 --> 00:06:29,824 How many people have been with me for ten years? 125 00:06:29,911 --> 00:06:33,523 [cheering and applause] 126 00:06:33,610 --> 00:06:35,220 And I've had a great career. 127 00:06:35,307 --> 00:06:36,657 I've gone out there. 128 00:06:36,744 --> 00:06:38,789 I've played everywhere you can imagine. 129 00:06:38,876 --> 00:06:40,574 And I've been telling my jokes. 130 00:06:40,661 --> 00:06:42,358 I've been entertaining people, making people laugh. 131 00:06:42,445 --> 00:06:43,925 And I love doing it. It's an honor 132 00:06:44,012 --> 00:06:45,753 to be able to do it for you guys tonight. 133 00:06:45,840 --> 00:06:48,016 So... 134 00:06:48,103 --> 00:06:50,584 But here's what's happened. 135 00:06:50,671 --> 00:06:53,891 Recently I've been sort of going through the motions. 136 00:06:53,978 --> 00:06:56,285 You know, I've been sort of just kind of coming out here, 137 00:06:56,372 --> 00:06:59,375 the brain turns off, the material turns on, 138 00:06:59,462 --> 00:07:04,598 and I just kinda go through this time-tested, great material 139 00:07:04,685 --> 00:07:07,252 that's been so successful for me. 140 00:07:07,339 --> 00:07:09,341 And really, it's been a great experience. 141 00:07:09,429 --> 00:07:12,562 But as an artist, as somebody that's always trying 142 00:07:12,649 --> 00:07:15,173 to push the envelope and push things forward 143 00:07:15,260 --> 00:07:17,219 creatively and for my audience, 144 00:07:17,306 --> 00:07:20,527 I feel like it's time for me to put myself to the test, 145 00:07:20,614 --> 00:07:22,354 to challenge myself. 146 00:07:22,442 --> 00:07:25,793 And that's the reason I developed this new technique 147 00:07:25,880 --> 00:07:28,186 that I'm so excited to debut tonight, 148 00:07:28,273 --> 00:07:29,623 and I've never tried it before. 149 00:07:29,710 --> 00:07:32,887 So this is like kinda nerve-wracking. 150 00:07:32,974 --> 00:07:35,106 I am going to try something I've called... 151 00:07:35,193 --> 00:07:37,587 I'm calling in my head comedy without a net. 152 00:07:37,674 --> 00:07:40,895 And what that means is... 153 00:07:40,982 --> 00:07:45,160 I'm... I got these jokes, I got these great jokes, okay? 154 00:07:45,247 --> 00:07:48,337 Like great material. Time-tested. 155 00:07:48,424 --> 00:07:50,121 And I'm putting it in my pocket. 156 00:07:50,208 --> 00:07:52,994 Not gonna take a look. 157 00:07:53,081 --> 00:07:55,083 I'm going to access this. 158 00:07:55,170 --> 00:07:57,041 I'm going to access the creative, 159 00:07:57,128 --> 00:08:00,305 the improvisational, the ad-libbery of it all. 160 00:08:00,392 --> 00:08:03,047 The sort of t-t-tapping into sort of 161 00:08:03,134 --> 00:08:05,136 what my friends say are sort of like, you know, 162 00:08:05,223 --> 00:08:07,791 you think something's off with this guy. 163 00:08:07,878 --> 00:08:09,314 [laughing] 164 00:08:09,401 --> 00:08:10,838 Right? Like... 165 00:08:10,925 --> 00:08:12,579 And I don't know what's gonna happen. 166 00:08:12,666 --> 00:08:13,928 I really don't. 167 00:08:14,015 --> 00:08:15,669 It's a blank slate in front of me. 168 00:08:15,756 --> 00:08:17,627 And you know, everyone's kind of worried. 169 00:08:17,714 --> 00:08:19,760 I see the faces are like, uh-oh. 170 00:08:19,847 --> 00:08:22,850 But you know what? I got these just in case. 171 00:08:22,937 --> 00:08:25,113 I'm not saying we're gonna use them, but... 172 00:08:27,332 --> 00:08:29,204 Should we do it or not? Or should I just...? 173 00:08:29,291 --> 00:08:32,163 I could do this. I could... I could do this. 174 00:08:32,250 --> 00:08:33,904 Or should we do comedy without a net? 175 00:08:33,991 --> 00:08:35,471 - I mean, it's up to you. - [scattered cheering] 176 00:08:35,558 --> 00:08:38,082 What do you want to do? Let's do it. 177 00:08:38,169 --> 00:08:41,259 Let's do... Let's throw the shit to the wind. 178 00:08:46,134 --> 00:08:48,353 Let's riff, right? Should we riff? 179 00:08:48,440 --> 00:08:49,790 Here we go. 180 00:08:49,877 --> 00:08:53,010 All right! Riffin' up. 181 00:08:53,097 --> 00:08:55,622 Where to begin? I don't even know. 182 00:08:55,709 --> 00:08:56,971 That's what's funny about it. 183 00:08:57,058 --> 00:08:58,407 Um... 184 00:09:02,193 --> 00:09:05,980 Well, the... I was gonna say the fires, um... 185 00:09:11,463 --> 00:09:13,465 Uh, that's not right. 186 00:09:13,553 --> 00:09:15,816 Downtown L.A., am I right? 187 00:09:15,903 --> 00:09:17,208 [scattered cheering] 188 00:09:17,295 --> 00:09:19,167 It's funny, it's like... 189 00:09:19,254 --> 00:09:22,605 It's a whole other pla... It's just different. 190 00:09:22,692 --> 00:09:24,389 It's different. 191 00:09:24,476 --> 00:09:26,130 This part of L.A.'s different. Whatever. 192 00:09:26,217 --> 00:09:27,784 Uh... 193 00:09:30,700 --> 00:09:32,267 What, uh... 194 00:09:32,354 --> 00:09:35,052 What's your name? With the hat, what's...? 195 00:09:35,139 --> 00:09:36,924 - Julie. - Julie. 196 00:09:37,011 --> 00:09:39,579 Okay, Julie... 197 00:09:39,666 --> 00:09:41,929 Julie in the sky with, no, uh... 198 00:09:42,016 --> 00:09:43,583 Julie... 199 00:09:43,670 --> 00:09:45,062 Julia Roberts. 200 00:09:47,108 --> 00:09:48,892 How about you? What's your name, good looking? 201 00:09:48,979 --> 00:09:50,981 - Colin. - Colin. 202 00:09:51,068 --> 00:09:53,331 Colin all car... Colin all cars. 203 00:09:53,418 --> 00:09:57,292 [giggling] 204 00:09:57,379 --> 00:09:58,946 Colin all cars. Colin all cars. 205 00:09:59,033 --> 00:10:00,512 [mimics siren] 206 00:10:00,600 --> 00:10:01,905 [growling] 207 00:10:01,992 --> 00:10:03,907 He's like, don't stop, get it... 208 00:10:05,300 --> 00:10:06,780 Give me a break. 209 00:10:06,867 --> 00:10:08,129 [chuckles] 210 00:10:08,216 --> 00:10:10,000 Oh, what else? How about you? 211 00:10:10,087 --> 00:10:11,175 - Nick. - Nick! 212 00:10:11,262 --> 00:10:12,873 Just in the nick of time. 213 00:10:12,960 --> 00:10:15,919 You see, he showed up just in the nick of time. 214 00:10:21,795 --> 00:10:23,971 Colin all cars. Just in the nick of time. 215 00:10:24,058 --> 00:10:26,451 Julia Roberts here today. What else? 216 00:10:26,538 --> 00:10:27,714 Yes, sir. Big guy. 217 00:10:27,801 --> 00:10:29,759 - Dave. - Dave! 218 00:10:32,370 --> 00:10:35,025 Dave, uh... 219 00:10:35,112 --> 00:10:37,158 David and Goliath. 220 00:10:37,245 --> 00:10:38,725 A lot of Daves. 221 00:10:40,204 --> 00:10:41,684 You okay? 222 00:10:42,990 --> 00:10:44,208 You got a hole in your... 223 00:10:44,295 --> 00:10:45,949 You got a rip in your jean. 224 00:10:47,211 --> 00:10:48,909 You're wearing sandals. 225 00:10:50,475 --> 00:10:52,782 I'm just... I'm seeing what I... 226 00:10:52,869 --> 00:10:55,306 What's your name? What's your name? 227 00:10:56,656 --> 00:10:59,397 - Huh? What? - Cookie. 228 00:10:59,484 --> 00:11:01,486 Cookie? [giggling] 229 00:11:04,925 --> 00:11:07,449 Well, I could go... I could go an hour there. 230 00:11:07,536 --> 00:11:09,930 But, um... [muttering] 231 00:11:10,017 --> 00:11:11,322 Cookie. 232 00:11:11,409 --> 00:11:13,977 Cookie cu... Cookie Monster. 233 00:11:29,297 --> 00:11:31,255 Uh... 234 00:11:31,342 --> 00:11:32,779 [clears throat] 235 00:11:34,302 --> 00:11:36,173 [whistles through teeth] 236 00:11:39,307 --> 00:11:41,309 I... 237 00:11:41,396 --> 00:11:43,224 Well, hold on. I have an idea. 238 00:11:43,311 --> 00:11:44,878 We can do this. 239 00:11:44,965 --> 00:11:46,706 How many people here are love... 240 00:11:46,793 --> 00:11:49,099 hypnos... hypnotic... hypnosis? 241 00:11:49,186 --> 00:11:52,276 We love being hypnotized. We love being hypnotized. 242 00:11:52,363 --> 00:11:54,148 It's kind of a cool thing I can do. 243 00:11:54,235 --> 00:11:56,063 Sort of a little party trick I can do. 244 00:11:56,150 --> 00:11:57,455 It's kinda neat. I'm a hypno... 245 00:11:57,542 --> 00:11:59,240 hypnos... hypnot... 246 00:11:59,327 --> 00:12:01,503 "hypnosist." 247 00:12:01,590 --> 00:12:03,853 And, uh, here's what I want everybody to do. 248 00:12:03,940 --> 00:12:06,377 Everybody, I know it's Friday night. 249 00:12:06,464 --> 00:12:08,771 We all want to party, but what I want everybody to do here 250 00:12:08,858 --> 00:12:11,165 is just relax, okay? 251 00:12:11,252 --> 00:12:13,689 Everybody relax. Everybody... 252 00:12:13,776 --> 00:12:15,778 You feel yourself in your seat, you know what I mean? 253 00:12:15,865 --> 00:12:17,693 Just like feel that backbone. 254 00:12:17,780 --> 00:12:21,001 Feel that... that your rear kinda sit right into the chair. 255 00:12:21,088 --> 00:12:22,654 And close your eyes. 256 00:12:22,742 --> 00:12:23,960 I'm letting you guys close your eyes. 257 00:12:24,047 --> 00:12:25,396 Go ahead, get into that space. 258 00:12:25,483 --> 00:12:27,659 Let them shoulders sag. 259 00:12:27,747 --> 00:12:30,010 Um... 260 00:12:30,097 --> 00:12:32,142 And just everybody chill. 261 00:12:32,229 --> 00:12:34,188 Everybody chill. 262 00:12:34,275 --> 00:12:37,626 And in the... count of... 263 00:12:42,370 --> 00:12:43,675 Everybody chill. 264 00:12:43,763 --> 00:12:46,896 And in the count of three, 265 00:12:46,983 --> 00:12:49,638 you're going to snap out of it on my thumbs. 266 00:12:49,725 --> 00:12:51,596 My snap, whatever, thumbs. 267 00:12:51,683 --> 00:12:52,989 In the count of three, 268 00:12:53,076 --> 00:12:56,427 one, two, three. Wake up! 269 00:12:56,514 --> 00:13:00,344 And you're all gonna be chickens tonight or tomorrow. 270 00:13:00,431 --> 00:13:01,955 Anyways, uh... 271 00:13:04,000 --> 00:13:06,655 All right! So, listen, in my business, 272 00:13:06,742 --> 00:13:08,744 you do a lot of flying, right? 273 00:13:08,831 --> 00:13:10,006 Um... 274 00:13:12,792 --> 00:13:14,663 Always flying from here to there. 275 00:13:14,750 --> 00:13:17,927 And I always end up sort of in the last position when flying. 276 00:13:18,014 --> 00:13:19,973 You know, you get to the airport and they say... 277 00:13:20,060 --> 00:13:21,539 You show them your I.D., they say, 278 00:13:21,626 --> 00:13:23,628 "That's too bad, sir. You're in zone 5." 279 00:13:26,544 --> 00:13:29,373 I said, "Well, at least I'm not in the Twilight Zone." 280 00:13:33,813 --> 00:13:35,336 I tell a joke, you... 281 00:13:35,423 --> 00:13:37,555 - [audience] Laugh! - Thank you very much. 282 00:13:39,819 --> 00:13:43,213 Finally I got a chance to go in one of those 007 banks. 283 00:13:43,300 --> 00:13:45,694 You've seen these? These 007 banks? 284 00:13:45,781 --> 00:13:47,261 It's pretty in there. I went in there. 285 00:13:47,348 --> 00:13:49,829 I said, "I would like a bond, a savings bond." 286 00:13:53,528 --> 00:13:55,356 Pretty good. 287 00:13:55,443 --> 00:13:57,967 Finally got a chance to hear the music of Keith Urban. 288 00:13:59,926 --> 00:14:02,058 I thought to myself, gee, this guy might want 289 00:14:02,145 --> 00:14:04,713 to change his name to Keith Rural, 290 00:14:04,800 --> 00:14:06,193 if you know what I mean. 291 00:14:09,718 --> 00:14:11,763 But boy, there's a lot of women in music these days, 292 00:14:11,851 --> 00:14:13,548 don't you think? 293 00:14:13,635 --> 00:14:16,638 A lot of women in music. 294 00:14:16,725 --> 00:14:18,205 I love it. I think it's great. 295 00:14:18,292 --> 00:14:20,947 Listen, believe me. I think it's terrific. 296 00:14:21,034 --> 00:14:25,081 Uh, I... I heard this story 'cause I'm in the industry. 297 00:14:25,168 --> 00:14:27,518 I get some of these inside stories, kinda cool. 298 00:14:27,605 --> 00:14:29,564 I heard this, I couldn't believe it was true. 299 00:14:29,651 --> 00:14:32,654 This young musician, she was, I guess, 300 00:14:32,741 --> 00:14:34,874 just starting out, and she was in the studio 301 00:14:34,961 --> 00:14:36,614 and she was singing her song. 302 00:14:36,701 --> 00:14:38,878 And she couldn't get a sense of the tempo, you know? 303 00:14:38,965 --> 00:14:41,184 She couldn't get a sense of whether it should be too fast 304 00:14:41,271 --> 00:14:43,012 or too slow, she didn't know what was going on. 305 00:14:43,099 --> 00:14:45,406 So she was young. She said to the producer 306 00:14:45,493 --> 00:14:49,584 or the engineer, whoever it was behind the board, you know, 307 00:14:49,671 --> 00:14:52,456 and she said, "Can you help me here 308 00:14:52,543 --> 00:14:53,805 "with the pace of this? 309 00:14:53,893 --> 00:14:55,807 Is it too fast? Is it too slow?" 310 00:14:55,895 --> 00:14:58,201 And the engineer, he doesn't know, right? 311 00:14:58,288 --> 00:14:59,899 He's just pushing buttons, right? 312 00:14:59,986 --> 00:15:02,945 He goes to the producer who's sitting next to him, 313 00:15:03,032 --> 00:15:05,992 or manager, we don't know. 314 00:15:07,515 --> 00:15:08,908 And... 315 00:15:10,822 --> 00:15:12,302 ...he says, "What should I tell her here?" 316 00:15:12,389 --> 00:15:13,869 You know, "What should we say?" And he goes... 317 00:15:13,956 --> 00:15:16,959 [Southern accent] Taylor Swift. 318 00:15:17,046 --> 00:15:19,092 Taylor... Taylor Swift. 319 00:15:19,179 --> 00:15:21,572 Tell her to play the song swiftly. 320 00:15:23,009 --> 00:15:24,140 Yeah. 321 00:15:26,360 --> 00:15:28,057 And then, of course, Lady Gaga's out there 322 00:15:28,144 --> 00:15:30,625 doing her "thang." 323 00:15:30,712 --> 00:15:32,975 How many Lady Gaga fans we have here tonight? 324 00:15:33,062 --> 00:15:34,585 I count myself. 325 00:15:34,672 --> 00:15:37,458 I think what she's doing is important and cool. 326 00:15:37,545 --> 00:15:40,635 And, um... 327 00:15:40,722 --> 00:15:41,941 I love... No, I love Lady Gaga. 328 00:15:42,028 --> 00:15:44,508 But what's next, Lord Googoo? 329 00:15:49,252 --> 00:15:52,212 Hey, and whatever happened to U2? 330 00:15:52,299 --> 00:15:53,517 Whatever happened to U2? 331 00:15:53,604 --> 00:15:55,258 Where did they go? 332 00:15:55,345 --> 00:15:56,477 They used to come out with an album every year. 333 00:15:56,564 --> 00:15:58,261 Suddenly they disappeared. 334 00:15:58,348 --> 00:16:00,481 Does anybody know where they came up with the name U2? 335 00:16:00,568 --> 00:16:02,700 Does anybody know the history there, 336 00:16:02,787 --> 00:16:04,702 where the name U2 came from? 337 00:16:04,789 --> 00:16:06,269 Does anybody know where the name U2 came...? 338 00:16:06,356 --> 00:16:07,879 Does anybody, anybody over here know...? 339 00:16:07,967 --> 00:16:09,577 What's that? 340 00:16:09,664 --> 00:16:11,144 Do you know where the name U2, 341 00:16:11,231 --> 00:16:13,059 where the name of the band U2 came from? 342 00:16:13,146 --> 00:16:15,757 Do you know where the name of the band U2 came from? 343 00:16:15,844 --> 00:16:18,934 The name of the band of the... [stammering] 344 00:16:19,021 --> 00:16:21,589 The name of the band U2, this is true, 345 00:16:21,676 --> 00:16:24,331 came from the "untalented two." 346 00:16:24,418 --> 00:16:26,072 And it was... 347 00:16:27,595 --> 00:16:29,249 [sighs] ...in reference to the drummer, 348 00:16:29,336 --> 00:16:31,294 what's his name, Larry Clayton. 349 00:16:31,381 --> 00:16:32,817 Bullshit, some bullshit. 350 00:16:32,904 --> 00:16:34,863 And the bass player. 351 00:16:34,950 --> 00:16:37,561 And those guys are not... Edge does all the drums 352 00:16:37,648 --> 00:16:41,391 and the bass, and Bono does the drums and... 353 00:16:41,478 --> 00:16:42,653 So... 354 00:16:45,004 --> 00:16:46,788 The untalented two. 355 00:16:46,875 --> 00:16:48,137 Boy, what about these records? 356 00:16:48,224 --> 00:16:50,574 Speaking of music, 357 00:16:50,661 --> 00:16:52,446 these records that come out, you know. 358 00:16:52,533 --> 00:16:54,970 These records come out that... that... 359 00:16:55,057 --> 00:16:58,408 When they come out, they're not received well 360 00:16:58,495 --> 00:17:00,193 or they kinda go under the radar. 361 00:17:00,280 --> 00:17:02,804 They kind of are lost. They're forgotten. 362 00:17:02,891 --> 00:17:04,936 And then, turns out, 20, 30, 40 years later, 363 00:17:05,024 --> 00:17:07,156 they're massive classic music. 364 00:17:07,243 --> 00:17:09,158 You know, they're genre-defining. 365 00:17:09,245 --> 00:17:11,204 They're important music. 366 00:17:11,291 --> 00:17:14,163 But when they come out, they kinda don't get recognized 367 00:17:14,250 --> 00:17:15,947 the way they should, you know? Like the... 368 00:17:16,035 --> 00:17:17,688 What's like the first Velvet Underground? 369 00:17:17,775 --> 00:17:19,212 Everyone knows that story, right? 370 00:17:19,299 --> 00:17:20,865 You've come out with a... No one buys it. 371 00:17:20,952 --> 00:17:23,607 But yet here we are. It's the number-one record 372 00:17:23,694 --> 00:17:26,697 of all time or, you know, it's huge. 373 00:17:29,048 --> 00:17:31,615 Like for the big one, the big example is "Pet Sounds." 374 00:17:31,702 --> 00:17:33,748 A lot of people don't know this, "Pet Sounds," 375 00:17:33,835 --> 00:17:37,099 by the Beach Boys, is, we can all agree, 376 00:17:37,186 --> 00:17:38,753 is just a classic record, correct? 377 00:17:38,840 --> 00:17:40,189 It's classic album. 378 00:17:40,276 --> 00:17:42,887 At the time, was not well-received. 379 00:17:42,974 --> 00:17:45,325 It came out, it was not a big hit. 380 00:17:45,412 --> 00:17:48,241 It was, you know, kinda considered a little weird 381 00:17:48,328 --> 00:17:49,633 by their audience. 382 00:17:49,720 --> 00:17:52,201 And I... I mean, I love "Pet Sounds." 383 00:17:52,288 --> 00:17:54,334 Can I get an applause for that? I mean, this is... 384 00:17:54,421 --> 00:17:58,033 - [cheering and applause] - I love "Pet Sounds"! 385 00:17:58,120 --> 00:17:59,643 It's a classic! 386 00:17:59,730 --> 00:18:01,036 I love "Pet Sounds," I really do. 387 00:18:01,123 --> 00:18:03,212 But what I hate... 388 00:18:03,299 --> 00:18:04,866 are pet peeves. I just... 389 00:18:04,953 --> 00:18:06,998 Don't they drive you nuts? 390 00:18:10,045 --> 00:18:14,615 Just the hangnails or other examples... 391 00:18:14,702 --> 00:18:16,399 of pet peeves. 392 00:18:18,314 --> 00:18:20,403 We gotta do something about the English language, 393 00:18:20,490 --> 00:18:21,752 by the way, don't you think? 394 00:18:21,839 --> 00:18:23,667 I mean, it's like... 395 00:18:23,754 --> 00:18:25,843 It is always getting us in trouble. 396 00:18:25,930 --> 00:18:27,671 Uh... 397 00:18:27,758 --> 00:18:29,673 I have one example of that. 398 00:18:31,806 --> 00:18:33,155 I know this is the col... 399 00:18:33,242 --> 00:18:34,809 this is like the flu season, right? 400 00:18:34,896 --> 00:18:36,767 What do you call it when you got a sore throat 401 00:18:36,854 --> 00:18:38,552 and your stuffy nose, what is that? 402 00:18:38,639 --> 00:18:41,468 - [man] Sick. - No, it's a cold. 403 00:18:46,255 --> 00:18:48,039 I called my friend. I go, "Hey, Larry, 404 00:18:48,127 --> 00:18:49,345 you wanna meet for dinner?" He goes, "Nah, I got a cold. 405 00:18:49,432 --> 00:18:51,260 I can't come out. I can't go out." 406 00:18:52,783 --> 00:18:54,176 I go, "Okay." 407 00:18:54,263 --> 00:18:56,222 Uh... 408 00:18:56,309 --> 00:18:58,441 But here's the thing. 409 00:18:58,528 --> 00:19:00,226 When we're feeling good, when we're feeling healthy, 410 00:19:00,313 --> 00:19:02,663 we don't say we've got a hot. 411 00:19:07,363 --> 00:19:09,757 Look it up. 412 00:19:09,844 --> 00:19:11,150 We don't do it. 413 00:19:12,194 --> 00:19:13,978 We don't do it. 414 00:19:15,589 --> 00:19:17,547 Say, how many people here have a New Year's resolution 415 00:19:17,634 --> 00:19:20,159 from this coming... I don't know, when... 416 00:19:20,246 --> 00:19:22,857 This... [stammering] 417 00:19:22,944 --> 00:19:26,034 Think it's almost New Year's. I could do it this way. 418 00:19:26,121 --> 00:19:27,688 How many people are going to have 419 00:19:27,775 --> 00:19:29,864 a New Year's resolution this year? 420 00:19:29,951 --> 00:19:32,040 - Anybody? - [scattered cheering] 421 00:19:32,127 --> 00:19:33,607 I got one, by the way. 422 00:19:33,694 --> 00:19:35,174 What is yours, by the way? What's yours? 423 00:19:35,261 --> 00:19:36,827 Doesn't matter. Say anything. 424 00:19:36,914 --> 00:19:39,090 What is your New Year's resolution gonna be? 425 00:19:39,178 --> 00:19:40,440 [woman] To get a new job. 426 00:19:40,527 --> 00:19:42,224 Get a new job. Okay. 427 00:19:42,311 --> 00:19:43,791 What's... [chuckling] 428 00:19:43,878 --> 00:19:45,793 What is your... What's your job now? 429 00:19:45,880 --> 00:19:47,403 - [woman] Fifth-grade teacher. - Fifth-grade teacher. 430 00:19:47,490 --> 00:19:49,188 Well, you should be a sixth-grade teacher. 431 00:19:49,275 --> 00:19:50,798 I don't know. 432 00:19:53,322 --> 00:19:54,715 There you go. 433 00:19:58,240 --> 00:20:00,547 You know, I got a... 434 00:20:00,634 --> 00:20:01,939 I got a New Year's resolution, 435 00:20:02,026 --> 00:20:04,115 and it's kind of a little controversial. 436 00:20:05,943 --> 00:20:07,075 You ready for it? 437 00:20:07,162 --> 00:20:08,946 [audience] Yeah! 438 00:20:09,033 --> 00:20:10,339 Come here. 439 00:20:12,559 --> 00:20:14,082 No more bullshit. 440 00:20:14,169 --> 00:20:16,040 - [scattered cheering] - No more bullshit. 441 00:20:16,127 --> 00:20:18,304 [cheering and applause] 442 00:20:18,391 --> 00:20:19,827 No more... 443 00:20:19,914 --> 00:20:21,045 [audience] Bullshit! 444 00:20:21,132 --> 00:20:22,395 - No more... - Bullshit! 445 00:20:22,482 --> 00:20:24,223 - I said no more... - Bullshit! 446 00:20:24,310 --> 00:20:26,573 No more bullshit! 447 00:20:26,660 --> 00:20:28,575 I went into a restaurant 448 00:20:28,662 --> 00:20:30,794 to get a cheeseburger the other day. 449 00:20:30,881 --> 00:20:32,535 I said, "Can I get a cheeseburger?" 450 00:20:32,622 --> 00:20:33,971 This guy behind the counter, he goes, "Oh, well, 451 00:20:34,058 --> 00:20:36,191 we only have veggie burgers, man." 452 00:20:40,413 --> 00:20:42,284 With Brussels sprouts and this and that 453 00:20:42,371 --> 00:20:44,982 and, uh, turkey... not turkey, fuck! 454 00:20:53,643 --> 00:20:56,167 Let's try it again, right? I got it. 455 00:20:56,255 --> 00:20:57,691 Try it again. 456 00:20:57,778 --> 00:20:59,736 No more bullshit. 457 00:21:03,174 --> 00:21:06,569 "Well, we got, uh, veggie burger with Brussels sprout." 458 00:21:06,656 --> 00:21:08,876 Not Brussels sprouts. Fuck! 459 00:21:10,051 --> 00:21:11,182 Uh... 460 00:21:14,882 --> 00:21:16,797 Seitan tofu. 461 00:21:16,884 --> 00:21:20,104 "A tofu burger with a bit of cheese 462 00:21:20,191 --> 00:21:23,586 and a tofu this and that." 463 00:21:26,633 --> 00:21:28,678 My wife comes home with these no-salt chips. 464 00:21:28,765 --> 00:21:31,290 Fuck you! No more bullshit. 465 00:21:34,728 --> 00:21:38,079 And everybody with their head meds. 466 00:21:40,951 --> 00:21:43,737 "Oh, I'm so sad. I can't get up in the morning." 467 00:21:43,824 --> 00:21:45,869 [sobbing] 468 00:21:45,956 --> 00:21:47,871 "I'm happy now." 469 00:21:51,788 --> 00:21:53,312 Anybody on head meds here? 470 00:21:54,574 --> 00:21:58,360 [dopey voice] Hm, I'm so sorry... for you. 471 00:21:58,447 --> 00:22:00,667 Everything is so hard. 472 00:22:03,800 --> 00:22:06,020 [normal voice] I'm tired of your bullshit. 473 00:22:06,107 --> 00:22:08,849 I'll have no more of it. 474 00:22:08,936 --> 00:22:11,373 My wife is on these head meds. 475 00:22:15,725 --> 00:22:16,987 "I can't get out of bed." 476 00:22:17,074 --> 00:22:18,380 [mockingly sobbing] 477 00:22:22,210 --> 00:22:23,864 I love my wife, though. I really do. 478 00:22:23,951 --> 00:22:27,302 It's a... I call her the nag, though. 479 00:22:27,389 --> 00:22:30,697 Just... she doesn't like that. 480 00:22:30,784 --> 00:22:32,046 I know the girls here are sorta like, 481 00:22:32,133 --> 00:22:34,570 "Oh, he's married." 482 00:22:39,836 --> 00:22:41,621 I'll tell you, usually I'm wearing this here. 483 00:22:41,708 --> 00:22:45,102 When I'm on the road, this comes off. 484 00:22:45,189 --> 00:22:46,452 Oh, yeah. 485 00:22:48,192 --> 00:22:50,194 Guys are like, "Yep." 486 00:22:56,375 --> 00:22:59,116 [sighing] Yes, my wife... 487 00:22:59,203 --> 00:23:02,772 It was recently her birthday and, uh, decided she's... 488 00:23:02,859 --> 00:23:04,252 I said, "What do you want for your birthday, hon?" 489 00:23:04,339 --> 00:23:06,820 She goes, "I want to go to the opera." 490 00:23:12,869 --> 00:23:14,393 Okay. 491 00:23:14,480 --> 00:23:17,613 I, uh... got her some tickets. 492 00:23:17,700 --> 00:23:19,702 Two tickets to the opera. 493 00:23:19,789 --> 00:23:21,443 And, uh, it was funny. 494 00:23:21,530 --> 00:23:22,879 It's a good story, it's a good story. 495 00:23:22,966 --> 00:23:25,795 Um... 496 00:23:25,882 --> 00:23:27,623 A little sneak peek of maybe a one-man show. 497 00:23:27,710 --> 00:23:29,277 This could be a movie. I don't know. 498 00:23:29,364 --> 00:23:35,022 But, um... I get there to this, uh, opera house 499 00:23:35,109 --> 00:23:36,545 and I'm sitting there, 500 00:23:36,632 --> 00:23:38,417 I got my suit on, I'm looking good. 501 00:23:38,504 --> 00:23:42,464 And, uh... this shows starts. 502 00:23:42,551 --> 00:23:44,379 Opera starts, you know? 503 00:23:44,466 --> 00:23:46,903 And I'm looking around, this guy's up on stage, 504 00:23:46,990 --> 00:23:48,557 some jerk's up there going... 505 00:23:48,644 --> 00:23:50,472 ♪ La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la ♪ 506 00:23:50,559 --> 00:23:52,474 ♪ This and that ♪ [singing gibberish] 507 00:23:52,561 --> 00:23:53,954 Right? 508 00:24:01,178 --> 00:24:03,833 Looking around. An hour goes by. 509 00:24:06,880 --> 00:24:08,316 I couldn't take it. 510 00:24:08,403 --> 00:24:11,232 I stood up, I go, "Shut the fuck up!" 511 00:24:19,370 --> 00:24:20,502 Well, it's the early crowd. 512 00:24:20,589 --> 00:24:21,938 That's usually a standing "O." 513 00:24:22,025 --> 00:24:24,811 Um... I'll let you work up to it. 514 00:24:24,898 --> 00:24:26,508 There's more to the story. 515 00:24:26,595 --> 00:24:28,815 So the security comes in. "You can't do that!" 516 00:24:28,902 --> 00:24:30,599 Fuck off. 517 00:24:33,297 --> 00:24:35,952 I sit down, my wife is crying. 518 00:24:39,782 --> 00:24:44,918 An hour goes by, another hour goes by, folks, okay? 519 00:24:45,005 --> 00:24:47,529 This is a four or five-hour opera. 520 00:24:49,879 --> 00:24:51,620 This guy's still up there, this jackoff... 521 00:24:51,707 --> 00:24:54,144 ♪ Ma, ma, ma, me, me, me, me, me, me, ma, ma, ma ♪ 522 00:24:54,231 --> 00:24:56,103 ♪ Me, me, me, me, me, me ♪ 523 00:24:59,585 --> 00:25:01,456 I can't hold it back. I get up and, 524 00:25:01,543 --> 00:25:07,331 "Shut the fuck up!" 525 00:25:08,376 --> 00:25:10,857 Yeah! Thank you. 526 00:25:10,944 --> 00:25:12,815 Thank you. 527 00:25:12,902 --> 00:25:15,557 That's what you've gotta do. 528 00:25:15,644 --> 00:25:17,951 That's what you've gotta do. 529 00:25:18,038 --> 00:25:21,781 No more bullshit. No more bullshit. 530 00:25:21,868 --> 00:25:24,348 - [audience] No more bullshit! - No more bullshit. 531 00:25:24,435 --> 00:25:25,828 [audience] No more bullshit! 532 00:25:25,915 --> 00:25:28,135 Thank you. 533 00:25:30,616 --> 00:25:32,922 Ah, boy. 534 00:25:33,009 --> 00:25:34,489 Well, you know, we've got kids now 535 00:25:34,576 --> 00:25:37,666 and, um, I do love the kids. I love them. 536 00:25:37,753 --> 00:25:40,190 I was a little disappointed because I was hoping there'd be 537 00:25:40,277 --> 00:25:42,715 more material, uh, material in there. 538 00:25:42,802 --> 00:25:46,109 Uh... but they're doing fine 539 00:25:46,196 --> 00:25:51,724 and there's nothing for me to work with so much but, um... 540 00:25:51,811 --> 00:25:53,595 I do kind of miss the old days, 541 00:25:53,682 --> 00:25:56,076 you know, before the kids, when it was just me and my wife 542 00:25:56,163 --> 00:25:59,993 and we were just a couple of nine-to-fivers, you know? 543 00:26:01,385 --> 00:26:03,170 How many not... Before the comedy career... 544 00:26:03,257 --> 00:26:05,607 how many people here are nine-to-fivers, 545 00:26:05,694 --> 00:26:06,869 just pushing it through every day? 546 00:26:06,956 --> 00:26:08,523 Eight hours a day. 547 00:26:08,610 --> 00:26:10,090 Eight... Nine to five, 40 hours a week, 548 00:26:10,177 --> 00:26:11,874 just pushing the grind. 549 00:26:11,961 --> 00:26:13,789 You guys are making the country work, by the way. 550 00:26:13,876 --> 00:26:15,530 You guys are turning that wheel. 551 00:26:15,617 --> 00:26:18,664 And we salute you. 552 00:26:18,751 --> 00:26:20,840 Yeah, I was doing the nine-to-five thing for a while 553 00:26:20,927 --> 00:26:22,755 and, uh, actually a little... 554 00:26:22,842 --> 00:26:24,234 I was sort of doing the nine-to-five thing. 555 00:26:24,321 --> 00:26:26,106 I was also doing a little day trading. 556 00:26:26,193 --> 00:26:28,630 You know about day... you know, day trading. 557 00:26:28,717 --> 00:26:30,284 Uh, kind of did that for a little while. 558 00:26:30,371 --> 00:26:31,851 I used this E-Trade. 559 00:26:31,938 --> 00:26:34,288 Um... You know, it's kind of cool. 560 00:26:34,375 --> 00:26:38,031 E-Trade, uh, sort of lets you... 561 00:26:38,118 --> 00:26:40,555 invest at your own pace, I guess. 562 00:26:40,642 --> 00:26:42,949 It's kind of cool. 563 00:26:43,036 --> 00:26:44,603 I got sort of into it for awhile. 564 00:26:44,690 --> 00:26:48,084 They let you kind of... kind of customize your, 565 00:26:48,171 --> 00:26:50,260 um, the way you want to invest, 566 00:26:50,347 --> 00:26:53,394 you know, so you can be... get a little risky, you know, 567 00:26:53,481 --> 00:26:55,439 uh, or sort of play it safe. 568 00:26:55,526 --> 00:26:56,832 It's a whole range. 569 00:26:56,919 --> 00:26:58,138 You could... you could get analytics 570 00:26:58,225 --> 00:26:59,966 and mess around with that. 571 00:27:00,053 --> 00:27:01,750 I'd mess around with that for a little bit, 572 00:27:01,837 --> 00:27:05,101 but it was... it was just a good service, you know? 573 00:27:05,188 --> 00:27:06,537 It's easy too. 574 00:27:06,625 --> 00:27:08,365 You just go to ETrade.com, log in 575 00:27:08,452 --> 00:27:11,847 or set up an account, link it to your fucking bank account. 576 00:27:11,934 --> 00:27:15,068 It's, like, too easy. And it's funny. 577 00:27:15,155 --> 00:27:17,940 It's, like, 'cause there still fucking people on Ameritrade. 578 00:27:18,027 --> 00:27:20,116 Just, like.. 579 00:27:20,203 --> 00:27:22,292 Which doesn't have the tools that E-Trade has. 580 00:27:22,379 --> 00:27:25,034 It's, like, okay. 581 00:27:25,121 --> 00:27:26,514 But, um... 582 00:27:30,170 --> 00:27:31,867 I was doing the nine-to-five thing 583 00:27:31,954 --> 00:27:33,434 and my wife was doing the nine-to-five thing 584 00:27:33,521 --> 00:27:35,262 and it was sort of just those salad days, 585 00:27:35,349 --> 00:27:37,220 you know, where you didn't have a lot of responsibilities. 586 00:27:37,307 --> 00:27:40,397 And we had this routine where we would sort of... 587 00:27:40,484 --> 00:27:42,182 I would, uh... she would cook dinner 588 00:27:42,269 --> 00:27:43,879 and I would come home and on the way home, 589 00:27:43,966 --> 00:27:45,794 I would stop and get a bottle of wine. 590 00:27:45,881 --> 00:27:48,492 I would get, uh, just nothing fancy, you know? 591 00:27:48,579 --> 00:27:50,233 Just, like, whatever they had at 7-Eleven 592 00:27:50,320 --> 00:27:53,106 and just sort of, um... 593 00:27:53,193 --> 00:27:55,195 Just good, just straight, you know, 594 00:27:55,282 --> 00:27:56,979 just perfectly fine wine. 595 00:27:57,066 --> 00:27:59,199 Just not... nothing to write home about. 596 00:27:59,286 --> 00:28:00,853 And, you know, we'd sit there at the dinner table, 597 00:28:00,940 --> 00:28:03,159 the kitchen table and, uh, 598 00:28:03,246 --> 00:28:04,639 you know, we'd talk about our day 599 00:28:04,726 --> 00:28:06,597 and we'd sort of laugh about it 600 00:28:06,685 --> 00:28:08,077 and we'd eat and we'd drink and we had... 601 00:28:08,164 --> 00:28:10,036 you know, we'd... by the end of the meal, 602 00:28:10,123 --> 00:28:12,865 a couple hours go by and we've drunk the whole bottle of wine. 603 00:28:12,952 --> 00:28:15,128 We just, like... you know? 604 00:28:15,215 --> 00:28:17,217 And we do that, you know, throughout the week. 605 00:28:17,304 --> 00:28:20,133 And, um... 606 00:28:20,220 --> 00:28:24,572 And of course on the weekend, things changed a little bit. 607 00:28:24,659 --> 00:28:26,356 Uh, I don't know if you guys are like me, 608 00:28:26,443 --> 00:28:29,185 but I have a garage and in that garage is a big fridge. 609 00:28:29,272 --> 00:28:32,972 And in that fridge is some ice-cold... Coronas! 610 00:28:33,059 --> 00:28:36,976 Yeah! Right? 611 00:28:37,063 --> 00:28:39,108 Ooh, ice-cold Coronas, getting me thirsty 612 00:28:39,195 --> 00:28:41,807 just thinking about it. 613 00:28:41,894 --> 00:28:44,766 And I'll tell you, Saturday mornings, I'd get up 614 00:28:44,853 --> 00:28:47,726 and, uh, about 9:00 or 10:00 in the morning, 615 00:28:47,813 --> 00:28:51,207 I'd crack open my first Corona of the day. 616 00:28:51,294 --> 00:28:53,427 And I'd go out on the back porch and I just said... 617 00:28:53,514 --> 00:28:54,515 you know, nothing on the schedule, 618 00:28:54,602 --> 00:28:55,603 nothing to worry about. 619 00:28:55,690 --> 00:28:58,954 I'd check E-Trade, um... 620 00:28:59,041 --> 00:29:00,477 see where my money's at 621 00:29:00,564 --> 00:29:03,480 and, uh, just waste the day away. 622 00:29:03,567 --> 00:29:06,745 Just sort of drink and talk and hang out and just buy... 623 00:29:06,832 --> 00:29:08,355 You know, you know how it happens 624 00:29:08,442 --> 00:29:10,270 when you're kinda going through your Coronas 625 00:29:10,357 --> 00:29:12,576 and you get sort of like... Suddenly the sun's setting. 626 00:29:12,663 --> 00:29:14,753 You're like, "What?!" you know? 627 00:29:14,840 --> 00:29:17,756 And I'll kind of stumble into the house 628 00:29:17,843 --> 00:29:22,761 and crash down on the couch and, you know, pass out. 629 00:29:22,848 --> 00:29:25,154 And, jeez, you know, middle of the night I wake up 630 00:29:25,241 --> 00:29:28,375 and I gotta fucking piss, right, guys? 631 00:29:30,638 --> 00:29:33,162 And I go in... I go into the guest bathroom 632 00:29:33,249 --> 00:29:35,730 and whip it out and, you know... 633 00:29:37,906 --> 00:29:40,779 [imitating urinating] 634 00:29:48,874 --> 00:29:51,311 [coughing] 635 00:29:51,398 --> 00:29:55,881 [imitating urinating] 636 00:29:57,360 --> 00:30:00,015 Stumble back, pass out, wake up at 6:00 a.m. 637 00:30:00,102 --> 00:30:01,930 There's televangelists on the TV. 638 00:30:02,017 --> 00:30:03,584 I don't know where I am. 639 00:30:03,671 --> 00:30:07,370 I spend the rest of Sunday like this, "Uh..." 640 00:30:12,593 --> 00:30:14,769 And that's... that was sort of the routine. 641 00:30:20,557 --> 00:30:22,037 But I do wanna... I give my wife a hard time. 642 00:30:22,124 --> 00:30:23,647 You know, I give her a hard time. 643 00:30:23,734 --> 00:30:25,606 I love her very much and I'm proud of her. 644 00:30:25,693 --> 00:30:27,216 And I want to give her a little shout-out tonight. 645 00:30:27,303 --> 00:30:28,783 She's been working really hard on something. 646 00:30:28,870 --> 00:30:30,219 She started her own business, 647 00:30:30,306 --> 00:30:32,178 and we're very proud of her for that. 648 00:30:32,265 --> 00:30:36,486 We love, uh, entrepreneurs here, and she started this business. 649 00:30:36,573 --> 00:30:38,706 It's so cool because she's... she's very smart. 650 00:30:38,793 --> 00:30:40,795 She's very design savvy. 651 00:30:40,882 --> 00:30:43,319 You know, she... she understands the feng shui 652 00:30:43,406 --> 00:30:45,278 of the area and everything. 653 00:30:45,365 --> 00:30:47,628 And I think there's a lot of... There's some people here with, 654 00:30:47,715 --> 00:30:50,892 you know, horse blinders on when it comes to candles, 655 00:30:50,979 --> 00:30:53,286 and she started this company called 656 00:30:53,373 --> 00:30:55,288 Mix My Candles. 657 00:30:55,375 --> 00:30:57,943 And there's a website for it, MixMyCandles.com. 658 00:30:58,030 --> 00:31:01,729 And, uh... it's so cool. 659 00:31:01,816 --> 00:31:03,687 What she does is she kind of... kind of analyzes 660 00:31:03,774 --> 00:31:05,864 your candle situation. And guys are great for this 661 00:31:05,951 --> 00:31:08,301 'cause guys don't know anything about candles. 662 00:31:08,388 --> 00:31:10,999 Am I right, ladies? 663 00:31:11,086 --> 00:31:15,395 And, uh, she'll come in and she'll evaluate the situation 664 00:31:15,482 --> 00:31:18,746 and she will mix your candles around. 665 00:31:18,833 --> 00:31:21,488 And it's amazing how it's... It sounds so simple, 666 00:31:21,575 --> 00:31:23,316 but it changes everything. 667 00:31:23,403 --> 00:31:25,753 Um... 668 00:31:25,840 --> 00:31:28,756 But I love sort of demoing it with the guys in the audience. 669 00:31:28,843 --> 00:31:30,366 Is there a guy... You come up here. 670 00:31:30,453 --> 00:31:31,846 What's your name? Dave. 671 00:31:31,933 --> 00:31:34,675 The big Dave and Goliath, everybody! 672 00:31:34,762 --> 00:31:36,764 Come up here. I'll tell ya. 673 00:31:36,851 --> 00:31:39,375 Come up. Come up here. 674 00:31:39,462 --> 00:31:41,334 Let's hear it for Dave, Big Dave. 675 00:31:41,421 --> 00:31:45,425 [cheering and applause] 676 00:31:45,512 --> 00:31:47,514 Big Dave with the tight shirt. 677 00:31:50,169 --> 00:31:52,519 Here comes the Big Dave up on stage. 678 00:31:54,173 --> 00:31:55,522 He can climb up. 679 00:31:55,609 --> 00:31:56,697 He doesn't have to be a big entrance. 680 00:31:56,784 --> 00:31:59,613 Come here, come here, guy. 681 00:31:59,700 --> 00:32:01,093 You got your karate slippers on. 682 00:32:01,180 --> 00:32:02,833 Stand right here. 683 00:32:08,056 --> 00:32:10,015 Got the Nazi haircut. 684 00:32:13,105 --> 00:32:14,845 What's your, uh, what's your full name? 685 00:32:14,933 --> 00:32:18,806 - David Viabundo. - Okay. 686 00:32:18,893 --> 00:32:21,635 David "Viablumbo" needs to brush his teeth, folks. 687 00:32:21,722 --> 00:32:23,202 He's, uh... 688 00:32:26,335 --> 00:32:28,947 So tell me... Listen, Dave. 689 00:32:29,034 --> 00:32:31,645 Tell me a little bit about your home, your apartment. 690 00:32:31,732 --> 00:32:33,516 I assume you live in an apartment. 691 00:32:33,603 --> 00:32:36,128 You're not living in a home. This guy, I mean, come on. 692 00:32:36,215 --> 00:32:37,781 Let's be real. 693 00:32:37,868 --> 00:32:39,696 Where are you living, what's your situation? 694 00:32:39,783 --> 00:32:41,133 One-bedroom apartment. 695 00:32:41,220 --> 00:32:42,786 Okay. 696 00:32:45,050 --> 00:32:47,530 Um, and tell me your candle situation. 697 00:32:47,617 --> 00:32:48,967 Where are... where are your candles? 698 00:32:49,054 --> 00:32:50,620 I have three candles. 699 00:32:50,707 --> 00:32:52,187 Pretty good for a one bedroom. 700 00:32:52,274 --> 00:32:54,798 - For a one bedroom. - Pretty nice, okay. 701 00:32:54,885 --> 00:32:56,931 Bathroom, kitchen, living room. 702 00:32:57,018 --> 00:32:58,237 Okay, we can work with this. 703 00:32:58,324 --> 00:32:59,586 This is... this is cool. 704 00:32:59,673 --> 00:33:01,066 Um, by the way, is this... 705 00:33:01,153 --> 00:33:02,589 You said this was your girlfriend. 706 00:33:02,676 --> 00:33:03,938 - Yeah, right there. - What's your name? 707 00:33:04,025 --> 00:33:05,287 - Daniella. - Daniella, okay. 708 00:33:05,374 --> 00:33:06,767 And you guys... you guys live together? 709 00:33:06,854 --> 00:33:08,812 - Yeah. - Mmm! 710 00:33:11,250 --> 00:33:13,121 How long has this been going on? 711 00:33:13,208 --> 00:33:14,688 We've been together for five years. 712 00:33:14,775 --> 00:33:16,211 Five years. 713 00:33:16,298 --> 00:33:18,605 That's terrific! 714 00:33:18,692 --> 00:33:20,128 Let's hear it for this five-year relate... 715 00:33:20,215 --> 00:33:22,826 living together, one-bedroom apartment. 716 00:33:22,913 --> 00:33:24,872 You guys don't have a lot of personal space, 717 00:33:24,959 --> 00:33:26,830 I assume, at the apartment. 718 00:33:26,917 --> 00:33:28,223 - No. - Okay. 719 00:33:30,443 --> 00:33:32,140 Five years... girlfriend. 720 00:33:32,227 --> 00:33:35,926 No, uh... no next steps here. 721 00:33:37,319 --> 00:33:38,625 There will be. 722 00:33:38,712 --> 00:33:40,627 - Oh, there will be. - There will be. 723 00:33:40,714 --> 00:33:42,063 Well, what, do you love her? 724 00:33:42,150 --> 00:33:44,326 I love her. 725 00:33:44,413 --> 00:33:45,719 Do you love him? 726 00:33:48,026 --> 00:33:50,463 Well, hold on, I mean... 727 00:33:50,550 --> 00:33:52,117 What are you doing? 728 00:33:52,204 --> 00:33:53,422 I mean, what's... What are you waiting for? 729 00:33:53,509 --> 00:33:55,076 It's all about timing, Tim. 730 00:33:55,163 --> 00:33:57,513 It's... Well, what better timing than this? 731 00:33:57,600 --> 00:34:01,517 These people are your... This is a supportive place. 732 00:34:01,604 --> 00:34:03,084 If you feel strongly... 733 00:34:03,171 --> 00:34:04,303 What is the... what is the problem? 734 00:34:04,390 --> 00:34:05,913 What is this delay? 735 00:34:06,000 --> 00:34:07,915 Why don't you just be a man here 736 00:34:08,002 --> 00:34:09,743 and make a decision? 737 00:34:09,830 --> 00:34:11,049 Is this who you want to spend your life with or not? 738 00:34:11,136 --> 00:34:12,485 - Yes! - Well, let's do it. 739 00:34:12,572 --> 00:34:13,964 Get up here! 740 00:34:14,052 --> 00:34:15,357 Let's fucking do it. 741 00:34:17,011 --> 00:34:18,447 Come on. 742 00:34:18,534 --> 00:34:19,448 Get... And don't get her the back way. 743 00:34:19,535 --> 00:34:20,710 Get her up on stage. 744 00:34:20,797 --> 00:34:22,060 I don't care how you do it, 745 00:34:22,147 --> 00:34:24,758 'cause he's gonna change his mind. 746 00:34:24,845 --> 00:34:26,455 Are you... Do you have a ring? 747 00:34:26,542 --> 00:34:28,109 I mean, I got to... I got a ring for you here. 748 00:34:28,196 --> 00:34:30,242 I'm going... I'm pumped... 749 00:34:30,329 --> 00:34:32,287 Truth be told, I'm going through a divorce... 750 00:34:34,420 --> 00:34:35,812 ...so you can have it. 751 00:34:35,899 --> 00:34:37,423 Um, go ahead. 752 00:34:37,510 --> 00:34:39,077 I'll tell ya, I need to take two minutes. 753 00:34:39,164 --> 00:34:41,209 So you take over, I'll supervise. 754 00:34:47,041 --> 00:34:49,435 Yeah, I'm definitely not gonna propose on the stage right now. 755 00:34:49,522 --> 00:34:52,351 - Just... like this. - Okay. 756 00:34:52,438 --> 00:34:54,309 And kneel. 757 00:35:01,490 --> 00:35:03,405 - Daniella... - Yes. 758 00:35:03,492 --> 00:35:05,407 - ...I love you very much. - I love you too. 759 00:35:05,494 --> 00:35:06,756 This is really weird. 760 00:35:09,368 --> 00:35:10,717 Will you marry me? 761 00:35:10,804 --> 00:35:12,327 - Yay. - Hold on. 762 00:35:12,414 --> 00:35:13,937 What did she say? 763 00:35:15,243 --> 00:35:17,463 - Yes. - There you go! 764 00:35:17,550 --> 00:35:21,554 [cheering and applause] 765 00:35:23,730 --> 00:35:25,775 Come on, stand up for 'em! 766 00:35:25,862 --> 00:35:27,168 Stand up for the love! 767 00:35:27,255 --> 00:35:30,128 [cheering and applause] 768 00:35:32,565 --> 00:35:34,567 Now get outta here. 769 00:35:34,654 --> 00:35:36,699 And congratulations to these guys. 770 00:35:37,874 --> 00:35:39,267 Wow. 771 00:35:39,354 --> 00:35:40,573 What a story to tell. 772 00:35:43,315 --> 00:35:46,056 What a story to tell. 773 00:35:46,144 --> 00:35:48,842 Kind of making me, I don't know, a little... 774 00:35:48,929 --> 00:35:51,845 depressed or something. I don't know. 775 00:35:53,890 --> 00:35:56,154 They got that chance to do it right. 776 00:36:04,988 --> 00:36:07,034 I'm sorry, guys, I... 777 00:36:07,121 --> 00:36:09,079 It's late. 778 00:36:09,167 --> 00:36:12,387 I've... This has been a long, you know, been a long day. 779 00:36:14,389 --> 00:36:15,651 It's been a long day. 780 00:36:17,958 --> 00:36:20,613 I... I don't want to get into this, but, um... 781 00:36:23,746 --> 00:36:25,531 I just... I just had the worst... 782 00:36:25,618 --> 00:36:26,749 I just had the worst day. 783 00:36:26,836 --> 00:36:28,534 I was... 784 00:36:28,621 --> 00:36:31,363 You know, we're taping this special and we, um... 785 00:36:33,930 --> 00:36:35,454 ...we have this long... it's, like, a long day. 786 00:36:35,541 --> 00:36:37,282 I have to... it's a lot of prep 787 00:36:37,369 --> 00:36:39,762 and there's a lot of prep, like weeks ahead of time, 788 00:36:39,849 --> 00:36:41,590 a lot of stress, a lot of anxiety, 789 00:36:41,677 --> 00:36:44,071 and I'm... I'm sort of thinking about this and I'm... 790 00:36:44,158 --> 00:36:46,204 This morning I'm getting up and I'm getting ready 791 00:36:46,291 --> 00:36:48,902 and I try to give myself a little bit of time to get here 792 00:36:48,989 --> 00:36:51,252 and I... I was rushing a little bit 793 00:36:51,339 --> 00:36:54,429 and I get in my car and, um, 794 00:36:54,516 --> 00:36:57,824 I back out of my driveway and, within, like, two seconds, 795 00:36:57,911 --> 00:37:00,653 I realized I just hit my neighbor's dog. 796 00:37:00,740 --> 00:37:02,307 I ran... 797 00:37:05,832 --> 00:37:07,355 I just hit it. 798 00:37:07,442 --> 00:37:10,184 And I... I know my neighbor, it's... 799 00:37:10,271 --> 00:37:11,490 I know the dog. 800 00:37:11,577 --> 00:37:13,013 It's a dog named Chef. 801 00:37:13,100 --> 00:37:16,582 I think it's like this, um, pit... 802 00:37:16,669 --> 00:37:20,586 beautiful pit-lab or a pit mix, mutt. 803 00:37:20,673 --> 00:37:23,371 And I get... I get out of my car 804 00:37:23,458 --> 00:37:25,417 and, you know, I'm... I'm... I love dogs. 805 00:37:25,504 --> 00:37:27,723 I'm panicking. I have dogs and I'm panicking, 806 00:37:27,810 --> 00:37:30,639 and I see this dog and he's alive... 807 00:37:30,726 --> 00:37:33,207 but he's, like, um, like, bleeding 808 00:37:33,294 --> 00:37:35,514 and his skin's ripped off his side. 809 00:37:35,601 --> 00:37:37,516 He's just, like... 810 00:37:37,603 --> 00:37:40,519 bleeding out of his nose and ears and his... 811 00:37:40,606 --> 00:37:41,781 [panting] 812 00:37:41,868 --> 00:37:44,174 And he's in shock. 813 00:37:44,262 --> 00:37:46,612 And I get him in my arms and I push... 814 00:37:46,699 --> 00:37:48,918 I get him in my car and I race to the vet 815 00:37:49,005 --> 00:37:51,399 and I get him to the vet, like, two miles away, 816 00:37:51,486 --> 00:37:53,532 and I get in there and I'm holding this dog 817 00:37:53,619 --> 00:37:55,011 and there's blood all over me, 818 00:37:55,098 --> 00:37:57,275 and I say, "Can you please help me? 819 00:37:57,362 --> 00:37:59,189 I just hit this dog with a car." 820 00:37:59,277 --> 00:38:01,235 And the lady there, she's like, "Sorry, sir, we can't help you." 821 00:38:01,322 --> 00:38:02,845 I said, "What are you talking about? 822 00:38:02,932 --> 00:38:05,239 "This dog is dying in my arms. 823 00:38:05,326 --> 00:38:06,675 Would you please do something?" 824 00:38:06,762 --> 00:38:07,894 She said, "No." 825 00:38:07,981 --> 00:38:09,199 I said, "I don't understand! 826 00:38:09,287 --> 00:38:10,113 "Why don't you do something? 827 00:38:10,200 --> 00:38:11,506 "Why don't you help me? 828 00:38:11,593 --> 00:38:13,639 This dog is going to die right here!" 829 00:38:13,726 --> 00:38:15,771 She says, "Because of Obamacare." 830 00:38:23,257 --> 00:38:25,215 "Because of Obamacare"?! 831 00:38:31,570 --> 00:38:34,224 Well, that's all gonna change, right, folks? 832 00:38:34,312 --> 00:38:36,488 That's right, we're getting rid of it. 833 00:38:39,012 --> 00:38:41,362 We're in better shape than we've ever been. 834 00:38:41,449 --> 00:38:44,409 Things are looking up, we are on the path forward. 835 00:38:44,496 --> 00:38:47,803 We are fixing the mistakes of the past, 836 00:38:47,890 --> 00:38:50,980 and we're so happy with the direction things are going. 837 00:38:51,067 --> 00:38:52,591 We're very happy 838 00:38:52,678 --> 00:38:56,029 and things have never been better and brighter. 839 00:38:56,116 --> 00:38:57,335 I love Donald Trump, I do. 840 00:38:57,422 --> 00:38:59,206 I think he's doing a great job. 841 00:38:59,293 --> 00:39:01,469 I think he's... he's gonna continue to be a prosperous, 842 00:39:01,556 --> 00:39:04,254 uh, uh, president. 843 00:39:04,342 --> 00:39:08,171 Uh, but I always thought that... This is my personal opinion. 844 00:39:08,258 --> 00:39:09,651 I always thought that Mike Huckabee 845 00:39:09,738 --> 00:39:11,261 would have been a great president, too. 846 00:39:11,349 --> 00:39:12,611 Don't you? 847 00:39:12,698 --> 00:39:14,047 We love Mike. 848 00:39:14,134 --> 00:39:15,875 Love Mike Huckabee. 849 00:39:15,962 --> 00:39:18,791 And, you know, he was a great governor 850 00:39:18,878 --> 00:39:21,446 and an interesting TV personality and... 851 00:39:21,533 --> 00:39:24,492 But even more so, I think it's interesting if you look... 852 00:39:24,579 --> 00:39:26,668 He... It's almost born in him, you know? 853 00:39:26,755 --> 00:39:28,757 And I... I kind of like to imagine, 854 00:39:28,844 --> 00:39:32,544 uh, back in Arkansas, Little Rock, Arkansas. 855 00:39:34,154 --> 00:39:36,199 Little Rock, Arkansas. 856 00:39:36,286 --> 00:39:40,682 And, uh, we're back at the, uh, the Huckabee house 857 00:39:40,769 --> 00:39:43,119 and, uh, you know, 858 00:39:43,206 --> 00:39:45,078 Mama Huckabee's in the kitchen there. 859 00:39:45,165 --> 00:39:49,038 She's stirring her, uh, biscuits. 860 00:39:50,823 --> 00:39:53,565 And she's about as a big as a house, you know? 861 00:39:53,652 --> 00:39:58,004 And in walks little Mike, fat little Mike... 862 00:40:00,789 --> 00:40:03,575 ...and he goes, "Mama... 863 00:40:06,578 --> 00:40:09,319 "...I could be president one day. 864 00:40:12,584 --> 00:40:14,890 I could be president one day." 865 00:40:22,724 --> 00:40:26,989 But these libs with their... their obsession with it... 866 00:40:27,076 --> 00:40:28,861 It's like... It's like, um... 867 00:40:28,948 --> 00:40:30,645 I feel like I'm in a "Brady Bunch" sketch 868 00:40:30,732 --> 00:40:33,518 with Marcia... or Russia, Russia. 869 00:40:39,219 --> 00:40:40,742 What? 870 00:40:40,829 --> 00:40:42,440 Instead of Russia, instead of... Oh, it's... 871 00:40:42,527 --> 00:40:45,747 Instead of... instead of... Marcia, Marcia, Marcia. 872 00:40:45,834 --> 00:40:49,359 Instead of Marcia, Marcia, Marcia, it's a, uh, uh... 873 00:40:49,447 --> 00:40:51,187 Yeah, Russia, Russia, Russia. 874 00:40:57,237 --> 00:40:58,804 How about some impressions? 875 00:40:58,891 --> 00:41:00,806 Would anybody want to see some impressions? 876 00:41:00,893 --> 00:41:02,808 I love doing impressions. 877 00:41:02,895 --> 00:41:04,592 I love it. 878 00:41:04,679 --> 00:41:06,246 What do we got here? 879 00:41:06,333 --> 00:41:10,685 And I'll just use this and let me... 880 00:41:10,772 --> 00:41:12,774 Shouldn't have any problems here. 881 00:41:12,861 --> 00:41:14,341 And tell me... You guys are gonna love this. 882 00:41:14,428 --> 00:41:15,951 Hold on. 883 00:41:21,130 --> 00:41:22,915 The, uh... I'm sorry. Did... Did an... 884 00:41:23,002 --> 00:41:24,699 I mean, this is California. I hope the answer's yes. 885 00:41:24,786 --> 00:41:26,788 Does anyone have a pair of sunglasses 886 00:41:26,875 --> 00:41:28,486 that I could borrow real quick? You have a pair? 887 00:41:28,573 --> 00:41:30,052 Like a Ray-Bans or something like that? 888 00:41:30,139 --> 00:41:31,967 You do? Oh, those are... 889 00:41:35,362 --> 00:41:38,496 Those are not official Ray-Bans. 890 00:41:38,583 --> 00:41:39,584 Um... 891 00:41:41,063 --> 00:41:42,804 Here. 892 00:41:42,891 --> 00:41:45,764 [cheering and applause] 893 00:41:50,986 --> 00:41:52,248 Looks pretty good here. 894 00:42:02,302 --> 00:42:04,217 "I'm Jack Nicholson. 895 00:42:10,919 --> 00:42:12,486 "You better watch your ass... 896 00:42:12,573 --> 00:42:14,444 you better watch your ass, Bat, uh, Batman." 897 00:42:17,012 --> 00:42:20,799 And, um... how about this one? 898 00:42:20,886 --> 00:42:22,627 Um, "Do I feel... 899 00:42:22,714 --> 00:42:24,106 Do I make you look... Do you feel..." 900 00:42:24,193 --> 00:42:25,238 Uh, not with these. 901 00:42:25,325 --> 00:42:27,501 Um, the, um... 902 00:42:27,588 --> 00:42:29,372 "Do I feel lucky, punk?" Yeah. 903 00:42:29,459 --> 00:42:30,373 "Do you feel... Do you make me... 904 00:42:30,460 --> 00:42:32,680 "Do I feel, uh... 905 00:42:34,508 --> 00:42:36,684 Do I make you feel lucky, punk?" 906 00:42:39,818 --> 00:42:41,515 Uh, who else? 907 00:42:41,602 --> 00:42:43,473 "Do I make you horny?" you can say too. 908 00:42:44,997 --> 00:42:46,955 Um... 909 00:42:47,042 --> 00:42:48,348 "Do I make you feel horny?" 910 00:42:48,435 --> 00:42:50,045 Uh, "I'm Tom Hanks! 911 00:42:52,439 --> 00:42:54,310 I'm Tom Hanks. I'm in all the movies." 912 00:42:55,442 --> 00:42:56,574 Uh... 913 00:42:58,880 --> 00:43:02,101 "My name is Bill Clinton..." [speaking gibberish] 914 00:43:05,844 --> 00:43:07,933 Let's move on, you guys get it. 915 00:43:08,020 --> 00:43:10,196 Um... 916 00:43:10,283 --> 00:43:12,459 I love the... I love when we get into politics, right? 917 00:43:12,546 --> 00:43:15,505 Because everybody sorta has their opinion 918 00:43:15,593 --> 00:43:18,204 and then say, "Well, you're wrong, I'm right." 919 00:43:18,291 --> 00:43:21,642 And what I love about this... 920 00:43:21,729 --> 00:43:22,948 What I love about this gang here, 921 00:43:23,035 --> 00:43:24,776 what I love about the country 922 00:43:24,863 --> 00:43:27,430 is we can have our disagreements, 923 00:43:27,517 --> 00:43:28,910 but we can still get along, right? 924 00:43:28,997 --> 00:43:32,044 We can still find the common ground. 925 00:43:32,131 --> 00:43:34,307 And, you know, for example, I like... For when I... 926 00:43:34,394 --> 00:43:37,397 When I want to get a drink, I get a soda, I get a Coke. 927 00:43:37,484 --> 00:43:39,660 I get a Coca-Cola. I'm sorry, okay? 928 00:43:39,747 --> 00:43:42,315 I get a Coke. I get a Coke. 929 00:43:42,402 --> 00:43:44,099 I say, "I'll have a Coke." 930 00:43:44,186 --> 00:43:47,189 And, uh, and how many people love Coke, by the way? 931 00:43:47,276 --> 00:43:48,582 Let's just get a round of applause. 932 00:43:48,669 --> 00:43:50,062 People love Coke. 933 00:43:50,149 --> 00:43:52,542 [cheering and applause] 934 00:43:52,630 --> 00:43:54,370 And then you find these people out there, 935 00:43:54,457 --> 00:43:56,808 and maybe there's some here tonight, 936 00:43:56,895 --> 00:43:58,418 who go, "I like Pepsi." 937 00:44:02,030 --> 00:44:03,118 Huh? 938 00:44:05,991 --> 00:44:07,209 I was, uh... 939 00:44:09,603 --> 00:44:11,736 I was at my manager's house, 940 00:44:11,823 --> 00:44:14,564 uh, we were watching the Super Bowl 941 00:44:14,652 --> 00:44:17,350 and uh... 942 00:44:17,437 --> 00:44:19,613 uh, you know, the Super Bowl, 943 00:44:19,700 --> 00:44:22,485 and I go in the fridge, I go in the kitchen, 944 00:44:22,572 --> 00:44:24,313 I say, "Can I... I'm gonna get a drink." 945 00:44:24,400 --> 00:44:27,012 I go in there and there's nothing but Pepsis in there. 946 00:44:27,099 --> 00:44:30,058 I said, "Mike, you know I like Coke. 947 00:44:30,145 --> 00:44:32,278 "Bring a... Get a six-pack of Coke 948 00:44:32,365 --> 00:44:34,715 if you know I'm coming over." 949 00:44:34,802 --> 00:44:36,412 Yeah. 950 00:44:42,418 --> 00:44:45,291 What the fuck is the matter with you? 951 00:44:45,378 --> 00:44:47,902 This guy's like, "Uh, what?" 952 00:44:47,989 --> 00:44:50,818 Okay, this is slice-of-life stuff. 953 00:44:50,905 --> 00:44:53,952 This is... This is... slow burn. 954 00:44:54,039 --> 00:44:55,301 This... You know, these are long format. 955 00:44:55,388 --> 00:44:56,824 These are not bing, bing, bing. 956 00:44:56,911 --> 00:44:58,434 These are not hot spot, just punch lines. 957 00:44:58,521 --> 00:45:00,698 This is storytelling, this is Cosby comedy. 958 00:45:00,785 --> 00:45:02,917 This is... 959 00:45:03,004 --> 00:45:05,877 It's gonna require a little bit of your attention. 960 00:45:07,052 --> 00:45:09,881 He's like, "What... what?" 961 00:45:09,968 --> 00:45:11,578 He's like, "What?" 962 00:45:22,371 --> 00:45:25,287 But it's funny, I was at the movies the other day. 963 00:45:25,374 --> 00:45:28,029 I went to go see the... 964 00:45:28,116 --> 00:45:30,728 "Batman" movie or some shit and... 965 00:45:33,121 --> 00:45:36,211 ...I go, uh, go to get a drink. 966 00:45:36,298 --> 00:45:37,386 I go up to the counter, you know, 967 00:45:37,473 --> 00:45:38,953 I say, "Can I get a Coke?" 968 00:45:39,040 --> 00:45:40,868 And this bitch behind the counter says, 969 00:45:40,955 --> 00:45:43,915 "Is... is Pepsi okay?" 970 00:45:51,052 --> 00:45:52,488 I said, "If I wanted a Coke, I'd..." 971 00:45:52,575 --> 00:45:54,752 Ah, fuck, shit. Hold on. 972 00:45:57,537 --> 00:45:59,278 Sorry, everybody. 973 00:45:59,365 --> 00:46:02,281 Uh, we're... we're shooting this for a special and I... 974 00:46:02,368 --> 00:46:03,804 This is the one I've gotta get clean. 975 00:46:03,891 --> 00:46:05,719 Um... 976 00:46:05,806 --> 00:46:07,155 Do you want to... Do you want to... 977 00:46:07,242 --> 00:46:09,984 Ben, are we okay to just start? 978 00:46:10,071 --> 00:46:13,161 Okay. Sorry, everybody. 979 00:46:13,248 --> 00:46:15,033 Um... 980 00:46:15,120 --> 00:46:16,730 Let me just pick it up. 981 00:46:16,817 --> 00:46:19,298 Let me just... Let me just get a little quiet here. 982 00:46:19,385 --> 00:46:20,560 Um... 983 00:46:22,214 --> 00:46:23,432 So I was at that the movies the other day. 984 00:46:23,519 --> 00:46:25,217 Saw the new... 985 00:46:27,915 --> 00:46:29,787 Okay. 986 00:46:29,874 --> 00:46:31,353 Just chill, just... 987 00:46:32,920 --> 00:46:35,618 I was at the movies the other day, saw the new "Batman." 988 00:46:35,705 --> 00:46:37,142 And, uh... 989 00:46:38,404 --> 00:46:39,927 What the fuck is funny about that? 990 00:46:40,014 --> 00:46:41,363 There's no reason to... You know what I mean? 991 00:46:41,450 --> 00:46:43,017 There's no reason to laugh at that. 992 00:46:43,104 --> 00:46:45,541 How's that gonna cut? How's that gonna cut? 993 00:46:50,982 --> 00:46:52,548 We good? Let's just get it quiet. 994 00:46:52,635 --> 00:46:55,290 Why don't we get the laughs out now, just... 995 00:46:55,377 --> 00:46:56,814 Ready? Three, two, one. 996 00:46:56,901 --> 00:46:59,599 [laughing] 997 00:46:59,686 --> 00:47:01,166 I went to go see a movie, I went to see "Batman." 998 00:47:01,253 --> 00:47:03,472 [mockingly laughing] 999 00:47:06,693 --> 00:47:09,783 Okay, we good? 1000 00:47:09,870 --> 00:47:12,873 So I go to see... Hmm, okay, here we go. 1001 00:47:16,398 --> 00:47:20,402 Went to the movies last week and saw the new "Batman" 1002 00:47:20,489 --> 00:47:22,535 and, uh, you know, I go to get a drink. 1003 00:47:22,622 --> 00:47:25,712 I go up to the counter and say, "Can I get a Coke?" 1004 00:47:25,799 --> 00:47:29,107 And this bitch behind the counter says, 1005 00:47:29,194 --> 00:47:31,892 "Is Pepsi okay?" 1006 00:47:31,979 --> 00:47:33,415 I said, "If I wanted a Coke, if I..." 1007 00:47:33,502 --> 00:47:35,853 Fuck, fuck, fuck! 1008 00:47:39,769 --> 00:47:41,554 Okay, here we go. 1009 00:47:41,641 --> 00:47:42,860 Here we go. 1010 00:47:44,818 --> 00:47:46,341 [clearing throat] 1011 00:47:49,823 --> 00:47:51,129 Quiet, please. 1012 00:47:54,828 --> 00:47:56,264 So I went to the movies the other week 1013 00:47:56,351 --> 00:47:58,701 and I got to see the new "Batman" movie. 1014 00:47:58,788 --> 00:48:00,138 That doesn't sound right. 1015 00:48:00,225 --> 00:48:02,749 "I went to... saw the new 'Batman.'" 1016 00:48:02,836 --> 00:48:04,664 Do "Transformers." 1017 00:48:04,751 --> 00:48:06,274 It's a little more perennial. 1018 00:48:06,361 --> 00:48:09,147 Uh... 1019 00:48:09,234 --> 00:48:12,324 Went to the movies last week, saw the new "Transformers." 1020 00:48:13,629 --> 00:48:14,935 I go to get a drink. 1021 00:48:15,022 --> 00:48:16,763 I go up and say, "Can I get a Coke?" 1022 00:48:16,850 --> 00:48:18,896 And this bitch behind the counter says, 1023 00:48:18,983 --> 00:48:21,115 "Is Pepsi okay?" 1024 00:48:23,030 --> 00:48:24,423 I say, "If I wanted a Pepsi, 1025 00:48:24,510 --> 00:48:26,642 I would've asked for a... a Pepsi." 1026 00:48:26,729 --> 00:48:28,340 That's good, we're good? 1027 00:48:28,427 --> 00:48:29,602 Okay. 1028 00:48:30,864 --> 00:48:31,952 Okay. 1029 00:48:35,216 --> 00:48:36,696 And what is it? Every week, 1030 00:48:36,783 --> 00:48:38,176 they're coming out with a new soft drink. 1031 00:48:38,263 --> 00:48:40,526 What was it the other day? Sierra Mist. 1032 00:48:43,659 --> 00:48:45,444 I feel like picking up the phone and saying, 1033 00:48:45,531 --> 00:48:48,099 "Yeah, I liked your soda better when it was called 7 Up." 1034 00:48:48,186 --> 00:48:49,883 Thank you guys so much. 1035 00:48:49,970 --> 00:48:50,971 Thank you. 1036 00:48:51,058 --> 00:48:54,192 [cheering and applause] 1037 00:48:54,279 --> 00:48:56,237 Thank you. 1038 00:48:56,324 --> 00:48:58,936 Thank you so much. 1039 00:48:59,023 --> 00:49:00,807 Thank you. 1040 00:49:00,894 --> 00:49:03,810 [cheering and applause] 1041 00:49:06,247 --> 00:49:07,596 You guys. 1042 00:49:09,903 --> 00:49:11,949 Wow, thank you. 1043 00:49:12,036 --> 00:49:13,254 Thank you very much. 1044 00:49:16,083 --> 00:49:17,432 Fuck! 1045 00:49:27,965 --> 00:49:29,096 [man] You ready? 1046 00:49:29,183 --> 00:49:31,620 ♪♪ 1047 00:49:31,707 --> 00:49:33,057 Hi, how are you? 1048 00:49:33,144 --> 00:49:34,754 [cheering and applause] 1049 00:49:34,841 --> 00:49:36,016 Hi. 1050 00:49:36,103 --> 00:49:37,365 Thank you for coming to this. 1051 00:49:37,452 --> 00:49:40,499 Uh, I'm... I'm also Tim Heidecker. 1052 00:49:42,501 --> 00:49:44,285 We got any piss drinkers here tonight? 1053 00:49:44,372 --> 00:49:46,896 [cheering and applause] 1054 00:49:48,942 --> 00:49:53,599 This is a cover from the group known as The Yellow River Boys. 1055 00:49:56,341 --> 00:49:57,864 It's pretty good. 1056 00:49:59,648 --> 00:50:02,303 It's like... this is the joke from the beginning of the night 1057 00:50:02,390 --> 00:50:04,262 come to life for real. 1058 00:50:04,349 --> 00:50:07,308 ♪♪ 1059 00:50:10,746 --> 00:50:14,533 ♪ I've got my two-gallon jug of apple juice ♪ 1060 00:50:14,620 --> 00:50:18,363 ♪ Gonna drink it till the jug is dry ♪ 1061 00:50:18,450 --> 00:50:22,149 ♪ And then I'll whip out my dick and I'll fill it back up ♪ 1062 00:50:22,236 --> 00:50:25,544 ♪ Oh baby and drink it all up tonight ♪ 1063 00:50:26,980 --> 00:50:29,939 ♪ Hot piss on the tip of my lips ♪ 1064 00:50:30,027 --> 00:50:32,594 ♪ Dribbling down my chin ♪ 1065 00:50:34,379 --> 00:50:36,946 ♪ Hot piss nothing's better than this ♪ 1066 00:50:37,034 --> 00:50:39,645 ♪ To waste it'd be a ♪ 1067 00:50:39,732 --> 00:50:42,082 ♪ Waste it'd be a sin ♪ 1068 00:50:44,998 --> 00:50:48,784 ♪ Well my old lady called me a son of a gun ♪ 1069 00:50:48,871 --> 00:50:52,440 ♪ When she caught me with a jug in my hand ♪ 1070 00:50:52,527 --> 00:50:55,356 ♪ I said I'm tired of the taste for that... ♪ 1071 00:50:55,443 --> 00:50:57,358 That clapping is really bothering me. 1072 00:51:05,932 --> 00:51:07,629 ♪♪ 1073 00:51:07,716 --> 00:51:09,631 Good luck splicing this together. 1074 00:51:12,982 --> 00:51:16,421 ♪ Well my old lady called me a son of a gun ♪ 1075 00:51:16,508 --> 00:51:20,207 ♪ When she caught me with a jug in my hand ♪ 1076 00:51:20,294 --> 00:51:23,950 ♪ I said I'm proud of my taste for that sweet hot piss ♪ 1077 00:51:24,037 --> 00:51:26,996 ♪ Oh baby I ain't gonna change ♪ 1078 00:51:28,998 --> 00:51:32,001 ♪ Hot piss on the tip of my lips ♪ 1079 00:51:32,089 --> 00:51:34,613 ♪ Dribbling down my chin ♪ 1080 00:51:36,441 --> 00:51:38,834 ♪ Hot piss nothing's better than this ♪ 1081 00:51:38,921 --> 00:51:41,098 ♪ To waste it'd be a ♪ 1082 00:51:41,185 --> 00:51:43,970 ♪ Waste it'd be a sin ♪ 1083 00:51:45,450 --> 00:51:47,104 ♪ Sing it with me sing it ♪ 1084 00:51:47,191 --> 00:51:48,627 ♪ Hot piss ♪ 1085 00:51:50,759 --> 00:51:52,152 ♪ Hot piss ♪ 1086 00:51:54,763 --> 00:51:56,330 ♪ Hot piss ♪ 1087 00:51:58,419 --> 00:51:59,507 ♪ Hot piss ♪ 1088 00:51:59,594 --> 00:52:00,943 Okay. 1089 00:52:01,030 --> 00:52:04,251 [cheering and applause] 1090 00:52:06,166 --> 00:52:07,341 Thank you. 1091 00:52:09,474 --> 00:52:12,433 I wrote, uh, that Yellow River Boys record 1092 00:52:12,520 --> 00:52:14,827 in a couple of weeks 1093 00:52:14,914 --> 00:52:18,265 and, uh, I don't think we have it for sale tonight, do we? 1094 00:52:18,352 --> 00:52:19,527 Oh, well. 1095 00:52:19,614 --> 00:52:21,486 I think it's sold out. 1096 00:52:24,967 --> 00:52:26,882 But, uh, I was very happy with it 1097 00:52:26,969 --> 00:52:30,364 and, uh, got to work on the follow-up. 1098 00:52:30,451 --> 00:52:33,759 Got one song done, and that's all I got done. 1099 00:52:33,846 --> 00:52:36,370 So... it kind of sat there for a while, this song, 1100 00:52:36,457 --> 00:52:38,546 and I... think it's a nice one. 1101 00:52:38,633 --> 00:52:41,680 So this is the only follow-up song 1102 00:52:41,767 --> 00:52:43,421 to The Yellow River Boys record. 1103 00:52:43,508 --> 00:52:46,772 It's a little ballad. I hope you enjoy it. 1104 00:52:46,859 --> 00:52:49,688 ♪♪ 1105 00:52:52,473 --> 00:52:57,130 ♪ 25 years since they opened the door ♪ 1106 00:52:57,217 --> 00:53:00,916 ♪ I was 13, I've never been in one before ♪ 1107 00:53:02,483 --> 00:53:05,878 ♪ I still remember like it was yesterday ♪ 1108 00:53:07,575 --> 00:53:12,189 ♪ A big old fat man just pissing in my face ♪ 1109 00:53:12,276 --> 00:53:15,496 ♪ And now I'm finally in a warm place ♪ 1110 00:53:15,583 --> 00:53:21,285 ♪ At the piss club reunion ♪ 1111 00:53:29,641 --> 00:53:34,080 ♪ I remember Jesse, I remember Joe ♪ 1112 00:53:34,167 --> 00:53:38,780 ♪ They filled my cheeks with their yellow flow ♪ 1113 00:53:38,867 --> 00:53:43,698 ♪ They taught me to swallow that wonderful stream ♪ 1114 00:53:43,785 --> 00:53:45,309 ♪ And to give of the yellow ♪ 1115 00:53:45,396 --> 00:53:48,399 ♪ But none of the cream ♪ 1116 00:53:48,486 --> 00:53:51,880 ♪ And so we're all gonna drop our seams ♪ 1117 00:53:51,967 --> 00:53:57,364 ♪ At the piss club reunion ♪ 1118 00:54:05,459 --> 00:54:09,550 ♪ Some day we will have all passed on ♪ 1119 00:54:09,637 --> 00:54:13,946 ♪ To the new recruits we piss on the baton ♪ 1120 00:54:14,033 --> 00:54:18,820 ♪ If you want to honor us piss pioneers so brave ♪ 1121 00:54:18,907 --> 00:54:23,651 ♪ Whip out your dick and piss on our grave ♪ 1122 00:54:23,738 --> 00:54:27,264 ♪ Up in heaven it's the taste that we crave ♪ 1123 00:54:27,351 --> 00:54:31,616 ♪ At the piss club reunion ♪ 1124 00:54:31,703 --> 00:54:36,273 ♪ At the piss club reunion ♪ 1125 00:54:36,360 --> 00:54:40,451 ♪ At the piss club reunion ♪ 1126 00:54:40,538 --> 00:54:46,413 ♪ At the piss club reunion ♪ 1127 00:54:46,500 --> 00:54:49,590 [cheering and applause] 1128 00:54:58,251 --> 00:55:00,035 All right. 1129 00:55:00,122 --> 00:55:03,038 Thank you very much, everybody. 1130 00:55:03,125 --> 00:55:06,303 Would anybody care if I brought it down a little bit? 1131 00:55:06,390 --> 00:55:08,783 We bring it down. Bring the mood down. 1132 00:55:08,870 --> 00:55:11,830 I'd like to play a couple of my, uh, famous... 1133 00:55:11,917 --> 00:55:16,095 world-famous, uh, Donald Trump protest songs. 1134 00:55:16,182 --> 00:55:19,011 [cheering and applause] 1135 00:55:19,098 --> 00:55:22,362 And, uh, is anyone, uh, 1136 00:55:22,449 --> 00:55:24,843 looking forward to the nuclear war? 1137 00:55:26,627 --> 00:55:29,369 That's a... The inevitable nuclear war. 1138 00:55:29,456 --> 00:55:32,764 That's in Christmas Day, maybe. 1139 00:55:35,288 --> 00:55:37,421 New Year's Eve. 1140 00:55:37,508 --> 00:55:38,857 Very soon. 1141 00:55:41,381 --> 00:55:44,515 Anyways, this song I wrote about that. 1142 00:55:44,602 --> 00:55:47,474 ♪♪ 1143 00:55:54,133 --> 00:55:55,482 I got a burp coming, hold on. 1144 00:55:57,223 --> 00:55:58,790 [burps] 1145 00:55:58,877 --> 00:56:02,924 ♪♪ 1146 00:56:11,411 --> 00:56:14,501 ♪ I was born ♪ 1147 00:56:14,588 --> 00:56:16,808 ♪ In 1976 ♪ 1148 00:56:16,895 --> 00:56:20,464 ♪ Grew up on "Red Dawn" and "WarGames" ♪ 1149 00:56:20,551 --> 00:56:23,205 ♪ And ICBMs ♪ 1150 00:56:25,860 --> 00:56:29,298 ♪ And after school me and my friends ♪ 1151 00:56:29,386 --> 00:56:31,779 ♪ We'd meet in the garage ♪ 1152 00:56:31,866 --> 00:56:35,087 ♪ And we'd take stock of the garden tools ♪ 1153 00:56:35,174 --> 00:56:40,005 ♪ To assess which ones would make good weapons, yeah ♪ 1154 00:56:43,574 --> 00:56:46,577 ♪ But my dad had it worse than me ♪ 1155 00:56:46,664 --> 00:56:49,623 ♪ He'd have to hide under a desk ♪ 1156 00:56:49,710 --> 00:56:52,800 ♪ As if that would stop the blast ♪ 1157 00:56:52,887 --> 00:56:56,848 ♪ From destroying everything ♪ 1158 00:57:01,548 --> 00:57:04,333 ♪ Then the tactics changed ♪ 1159 00:57:04,421 --> 00:57:07,598 ♪ And the poor used what they had ♪ 1160 00:57:10,514 --> 00:57:12,994 ♪ Like trucks and planes ♪ 1161 00:57:13,081 --> 00:57:17,303 ♪ And bodies strapped with dynamite ♪ 1162 00:57:21,873 --> 00:57:24,832 ♪ And it was terrible and tragic ♪ 1163 00:57:24,919 --> 00:57:28,140 ♪ But it wasn't a mushroom cloud ♪ 1164 00:57:33,624 --> 00:57:36,670 ♪ But it was terrible and tragic ♪ 1165 00:57:36,757 --> 00:57:40,587 ♪ But it wasn't a mushroom cloud ♪ 1166 00:57:45,897 --> 00:57:48,160 ♪ No, you can't put the genie back ♪ 1167 00:57:51,076 --> 00:57:53,295 ♪ In fact it's a miracle ♪ 1168 00:57:53,382 --> 00:57:58,170 ♪ That it hasn't happened yet ♪ 1169 00:57:58,257 --> 00:58:02,000 ♪ Crazy how it only takes a maniac ♪ 1170 00:58:04,263 --> 00:58:08,528 ♪ Crazy how it only takes a maniac ♪ 1171 00:58:08,615 --> 00:58:10,617 - [cheering and applause] - Thank you guys so much! 1172 00:58:10,704 --> 00:58:12,837 Good night! 1173 00:58:12,924 --> 00:58:14,273 Thank you very much. 1174 00:58:14,360 --> 00:58:17,406 [cheering and applause] 1175 00:58:20,279 --> 00:58:23,325 ♪♪ 1176 00:58:26,720 --> 00:58:28,026 [man] Well, Rock-'n'-Roll Gary, here we are, 1177 00:58:28,113 --> 00:58:29,680 backstage at The Regent. 1178 00:58:29,767 --> 00:58:31,595 Have you ever been to this backstage before? 1179 00:58:31,682 --> 00:58:33,248 Not this one, no. 1180 00:58:33,335 --> 00:58:37,470 I was with The Who two years ago, backstage. 1181 00:58:37,557 --> 00:58:42,301 Well, they would like to take girls of... 1182 00:58:42,388 --> 00:58:46,174 of, uh, below the age, you know, the limit. 1183 00:58:46,261 --> 00:58:49,134 You know, Keith Moon and John Entwistle 1184 00:58:49,221 --> 00:58:54,052 would take them up to the roof and throw them the fuck off. 1185 00:58:54,139 --> 00:58:55,836 Let me get this straight, they would throw high school girls... 1186 00:58:55,923 --> 00:58:59,144 Catholic girls from the Catholic girls school. 1187 00:58:59,231 --> 00:59:00,493 - Off the roof? - Off the roof. 1188 00:59:00,580 --> 00:59:01,886 Now, how... how did they... 1189 00:59:01,973 --> 00:59:03,104 - Splat on the ground. - That's awful. 1190 00:59:03,191 --> 00:59:04,584 How did they...? 1191 00:59:04,671 --> 00:59:06,760 And then they'd go, "Who's next?" 1192 00:59:06,847 --> 00:59:11,939 And Peter said, "That's a great title for a... for a record." 1193 00:59:12,026 --> 00:59:13,854 So he began working on that record. 1194 00:59:13,941 --> 00:59:16,248 "My Generation." 1195 00:59:16,335 --> 00:59:18,424 That was their preference for... 1196 00:59:18,511 --> 00:59:21,601 their generation was the one... the younger girls. 1197 00:59:21,688 --> 00:59:23,342 They said, "That's my generation," you know? 1198 00:59:23,429 --> 00:59:24,996 That's the kind I like. 1199 00:59:25,083 --> 00:59:27,564 Ten, 12, nine. 1200 00:59:27,651 --> 00:59:30,436 Steve Nieve is the keyboard man 1201 00:59:30,523 --> 00:59:33,352 for Elvis Costello and The Attractions. 1202 00:59:33,439 --> 00:59:36,703 He used to... He married a horse. 1203 00:59:36,790 --> 00:59:38,618 He's married to a horse 1204 00:59:38,705 --> 00:59:41,229 and he's had children with 'em. 1205 00:59:41,316 --> 00:59:43,057 And I believe he is married to a horse. 1206 00:59:43,144 --> 00:59:46,495 I do... do believe that. I do. 1207 00:59:46,583 --> 00:59:49,281 - Do you know Fleetwood Mac? - Yeah. 1208 00:59:49,368 --> 00:59:51,065 Do you know about the tunnels? 1209 00:59:51,152 --> 00:59:54,242 Do you know why there's no basements in homes in L.A.? 1210 00:59:54,329 --> 00:59:55,461 Do you know why? 1211 00:59:55,548 --> 00:59:56,767 No. 1212 00:59:56,854 --> 00:59:58,595 When "Rumours" blew up 1213 00:59:58,682 --> 01:00:01,598 and the group had the biggest record in the country, 1214 01:00:01,685 --> 01:00:05,776 they built miles and miles of tunnels 1215 01:00:05,863 --> 01:00:08,517 and that way they could run all kinds of 1216 01:00:08,605 --> 01:00:12,347 illegal activity under the city, through tunnels. 1217 01:00:12,434 --> 01:00:14,523 They have tunnels. Look it up. 1218 01:00:14,611 --> 01:00:15,960 Now, what is Fleetwood Mac 1219 01:00:16,047 --> 01:00:17,135 bringing in through these tunnels? 1220 01:00:17,222 --> 01:00:20,399 Gold, guitars. 1221 01:00:22,009 --> 01:00:24,838 Guitars from Mexico you can't get here. 1222 01:00:24,925 --> 01:00:28,102 The big fucking guitars mariachi boys go with. 1223 01:00:28,189 --> 01:00:31,236 [laughter] 1224 01:00:31,323 --> 01:00:33,717 You can't get them here! 1225 01:00:33,804 --> 01:00:36,415 Absolutely, no question.