WEBVTT FILE

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(ominous music)

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Downloaded from
YTS.MX

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- [Narrator] In the year 2044,

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Official YIFY movies site:
YTS.MX

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advanced artificial intelligence robots

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drained the Earth of
her natural resources,

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leaving the once thriving
planet a barren shell,

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incapable of sustaining life.

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From a global population that
once approached 8 billion,

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only a few thousand humans
survive by going underground

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and eventually abandoning
the Earth altogether

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for outer space.

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In space, a rebel alliance formed,

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eventually led by the last
survivor of her royal family,

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Princess Kali Devine.

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The Allies sworn mission
is to protect what remains

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of the human race while
fighting a bloodthirsty

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reptilian illuminati
army known as the Archons

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who are devoted to eradicating
humans from the universe.

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Employing a mix of alchemy and technology

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and led by the dreaded Aleister Crawley

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and alien Wrathcheld,

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the Archons attack the
Allies at every opportunity

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driving the dwindling humans
to the brink of extinction

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on the 2,000th anniversary
of the Earth's destruction.

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Adrift in space with
no planet to call home,

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the human race fights
its toughest battle ever,

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for survival.

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- Comrades, Archon warriors, commanders,

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working men and working
women, brothers and sisters,

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in the grip of our enemy

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we have temporarily fallen under the yoke

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of the Allied fighters and
our valiant Archon gorillas

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who are destroying the
race of the human scourge.

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On behalf of the mighty Archon army,

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I, the eternal reptilian manifestation

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of the soul of
General-ee-see-mus Joseph Stalin

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greet and congratulate you
on this 2,000th anniversary

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of the great Archon revolution!

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As you know, we are
engaged in mortal battle

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and not just mortal, but immortal as well.

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For ours is a fight for the very soul,

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death to the human invaders!

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Long live the Archon glory,

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liberty and independence
under the banner of Anubus

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we shall march forward to victory!

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(engines roaring)

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- Princess Kali, another
fighter fleet has just deployed

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in the Davonian Realm.

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- How many are there, Commander?

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- More than we've ever seen in one launch

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and they're armed to the teeth.

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I'm gonna need back--

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(screaming)

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(exploding)

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(laughing)

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- God damn it, another brave fighter.

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God, godspeed, Commander.

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Heru, Bort, man the bridge
and keep us on course.

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- Yes, ma'am, is everything alright?

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- No Heru, no, it's not.

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I'm gonna call someone
who may be able to help.

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(ominous music)

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- I feel your footprints, interloper.

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Who goes there?

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- Mighty Anubus, god of the dead, it is I,

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your devoted servant Wrathcheld,

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come from the star battlefields

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to a scared, silent and still sarcophagus

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to ask you oh, vaunted one,

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to guide my hand in this war of wars.

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- And what do you offer in
return for this gift, speaker?

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- My undying devotion, of course,

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and the whole of the Archon army's minions

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to ride alongside you in the great beyond.

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- Are these minions aware
that their leader bargains

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with their eternal souls?

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- They have pledged their
very souls for this cause,

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oh great one, to their
last they would be willing

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to cross the River Sticks

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and see your infinite spirit at bounty.

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- Very well, mouthpiece,

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the afterlives of your
soldiers shall be guided by me.

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- Great, so, just to be clear,

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am I also involved in
that or just my legion?

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- Recite your incantation, orator.

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- Right.

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I call to the spirits, I call to the dead,

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for arousal of Aleister Crawley again.

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I call to thee, come to me,

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to reunite once more.

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I wish to see he whom I
seek, oh god of the dead,

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bringer of life and giver of death.

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So mote it be.

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- It is, his black shall be among you

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until your last soldier falls.

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At that time, Crawley
shall return to the beyond

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from whence he came.

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- I thank you, oh exalted one.

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Your mercy bosses our mercilessness.

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- Leave me to my slumber, interloper,

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you reek of charred meat.

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- Cured meat, well,

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I just had a liverwurst
sandwich before I came.

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Is it on my breath?

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- [Anubus] Go!

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- [Wrathcheld] Gotcha!

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(upbeat music)

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It's an honor to have an
occultist of your caliber

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fighting on our side, Aleister,

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welcome back to the land of the living.

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- Land?

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I see no land, motherfucker.

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I only see dying stars
and floating debris.

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- Yes well, not in the
business of cosmic cleanup.

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This is wartime and I'm Wrathcheld,

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leader of the Archon army,

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the new masters of the universe.

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- How fascinating.

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I'm Aleister Crawley,
and I've never grown out

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of that infantile belief that the universe

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was made for me to suck.

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Speaking of, if the date
on this screen is correct,

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I haven't had a blowjob in 3,000 years!

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And who's going to suck my
dick with me looking like this?

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- Don't fret, Aleister,
I'll find a devoted Archon

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who gives great head.

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We'll get you straightened out.

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- The universe?

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I see my reputation has
grown in my absence.

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- Indeed, like all great men

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and before we destroyed life on Earth,

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celebrities and elite
traded your writings,

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paintings and properties
for obscene sums of money.

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- Mm, obscene, oh just
hearing the word gets me hard.

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But tell me Wrathcheld,
why do I look like this?

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- The visage you currently inhabit

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is your eternal reptilian body, you see.

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You never were fully human, Aleister.

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You've been Archon all
along and are friends

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with the god of the
dead Anubus and myself.

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You finally joined your kind
in the war to end all wars.

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(groaning)

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War, I'd prefer if you tweak my nipples

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while you use that word, Wrathbean.

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- Wrathcheld.

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- Whatever, do as thou wilt.

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- Before I introduce you
to my staff, Aleister,

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I'd like to get you up to
speed on our war effort.

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- You'd like to get me up, eh?

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- To speed.

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- Ooh, a quickie,

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now you're speaking my
language, Wrathbone.

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On your knees, boy.

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- I should've resurrected
Genghis Khan instead.

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(intense music)

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- [Kali] Long time no see, Van Helsing.

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I trust these years have treated you well?

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- I wouldn't know, princess.

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You see, I'm a copy.

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- A copy?

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- That's right.

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Before Earth fell into ruin

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I signed up for one of
those online ancestry kits

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and boy, did I get more
than I bargained for.

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I found out I was created in a lab

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using preserved DNA of the
original Jack Van Helsing.

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- Oh my God, are you serious?

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- [Van Helsing] As a venereal disease.

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- Oh.

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So, you got all of Jack's traits then?

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- I'm afraid so.

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- Okay, first thing's first.

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The war to destroy the
Earth is still raging.

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The Archons have better
technology and greater numbers,

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not to mention dark alchemy.

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They're decimating our
ranks at every turn.

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We're fighting as hard as
we can but we're losing.

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If things go on as they have been,

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humans will be extinct
before the next year.

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- Next year?

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That's not a lot of time.

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How many of us are left?

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- Our closest estimate
is around 420 Allies.

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We're losing an average of two a week.

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- Shit.

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- I called you because we need your help.

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We have captured and killed more Archons

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than any Ally in this conflict's history.

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Or should I say you're
cloned from the man who has.

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- Good thing you aren't
looking for a plumber.

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- What should I call you anyway?

193
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- Call me VH.

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- Princess Kali, infrared imaging

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space surveillance telescope
has detected a new weapon

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aboard the Archon mothership.

197
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- What sort of new weapon, Heru?

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- It appears to be a 60
megaton kinetic space bomb.

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If detonated it could wipe
out two-thirds of our galaxy.

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- Jesus fucking Christ.

201
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- Sir, I don't believe
we've been introduced.

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- This is Van Helsing.

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Heru, sort of.

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- Jack, welcome back, old boy.

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So nice to see you again.

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- Where are the Archons
transporting this bomb, Heru?

207
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Does it look like they're
setting up to deploy?

208
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- They're currently passing through

209
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Planet Gorgon's nebu-la-non.

210
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But as Gorgon is a radioactive shell,

211
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it wouldn't behoove
them to detonate there.

212
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However, we're aware of an entity

213
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that may possess knowledge
of Archon's plans.

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- You do?

215
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Who?

216
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- The fully autonomous weaponized
AI robot, Exterminator.

217
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- Exterminator, that thing
still running around?

218
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We're all fucking doomed.

219
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- No need to worry, VH,
it's been neutralized.

220
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We've held the Exterminator robot

221
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in our advanced underground
supermax prison facility

222
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on Planet Sticks for millenniums.

223
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My great, great, great
grandfather Ram-so-maj-dar

224
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captured Exterminator in
the Battle of Chartreuse War

225
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in 2921 and locked it up for all time.

226
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- Well, should I be taking notes?

227
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- It could be beneficial for the Allies

228
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to visit the Exterminator, Princess.

229
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The proper line of
questioning could appeal

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to its information motherboard

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and yield favorable results.

232
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- Thank you, Heru, I'll
take it into advisement.

233
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As you were.
- Yes ma'am.

234
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Shall we stay the course?

235
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- For now.

236
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- Interesting and unforeseen.

237
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Bloody lobotomy techniques
seems to be violently

238
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expelling the bowels of our
captured Archon fighters.

239
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And yet they remain fully conscious,

240
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aware of everything happening to them

241
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but unable to do a thing about it.

242
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That last fighter pilot even recited

243
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the Gro-bee-lin dictionary aloud

244
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with perfect pronunciation and elocution,

245
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never missing a beat as I
drilled deep into his eye socket.

246
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- Shall I euthanize the past
test subjects now, Dr. Jeckyll,

247
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so you can start with the new prisoners?

248
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- No, let them be.

249
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I have some more tests I'd like to run.

250
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I think I can go in
through the nasal cavity

251
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to puppeteer the frontal lobe.

252
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I'm painfully close to being able

253
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to control these fighters' minds.

254
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And if we can perfect that

255
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then return them to their Archon fleets

256
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as mind controlled double agents

257
00:12:58.100 --> 00:13:00.260
we can turn the tide of this war.

258
00:13:00.260 --> 00:13:02.300
- Brilliant, doctor.

259
00:13:02.300 --> 00:13:06.180
Have you given any more
consideration to my sex slave idea?

260
00:13:06.180 --> 00:13:08.700
- Sex, sex, sex, is that
all you think about?

261
00:13:08.700 --> 00:13:11.060
What's wrong with the
cadavers you've been using?

262
00:13:11.060 --> 00:13:12.960
They're good for nothing else.

263
00:13:12.960 --> 00:13:15.210
You don't even have sexual organs!

264
00:13:15.210 --> 00:13:17.340
You're the in tact breed of my best pupil

265
00:13:17.340 --> 00:13:19.574
who was born by laser fire strike

266
00:13:19.574 --> 00:13:23.900
transplanted into an automated
body to further assist me.

267
00:13:23.900 --> 00:13:28.900
- Apparently I was quite repressed
in my human form, doctor.

268
00:13:29.290 --> 00:13:32.470
- Obviously, keep your mind
on the task at hand for now.

269
00:13:32.470 --> 00:13:34.410
Once I can present a successful subject

270
00:13:34.410 --> 00:13:37.810
to aid the war effort we'll
find you a suitable release.

271
00:13:37.810 --> 00:13:40.600
- Thank you, doctor.

272
00:13:40.600 --> 00:13:42.560
- Wheel out the next prisoner.

273
00:13:42.560 --> 00:13:43.970
And for the love of all things holy,

274
00:13:43.970 --> 00:13:46.144
make sure this one's restrained securely.

275
00:13:46.144 --> 00:13:47.578
The headbutt from the last one

276
00:13:47.578 --> 00:13:49.273
nearly shattered my visor.

277
00:13:49.273 --> 00:13:51.983
Some of these Archons
panic quite severely.

278
00:13:58.890 --> 00:14:03.890
- Scourge of god obedient
unto me, I invoke thee,

279
00:14:05.590 --> 00:14:08.790
the terrible and invisible god

280
00:14:08.790 --> 00:14:12.923
who dwellest in the void
place of the spirit.

281
00:14:14.260 --> 00:14:17.100
This is the lord of the gods,

282
00:14:17.100 --> 00:14:20.720
this is the lord of the universe,

283
00:14:20.720 --> 00:14:23.263
this is he on the wind sphere.

284
00:14:24.360 --> 00:14:28.296
This is he who is lord of all things,

285
00:14:28.296 --> 00:14:33.296
king, ruler and helper, hear me!

286
00:14:33.430 --> 00:14:36.840
I am he, boneless spirit.

287
00:14:36.840 --> 00:14:39.968
I am he, the truth.

288
00:14:39.968 --> 00:14:43.620
I am he, who hates the stars.

289
00:14:43.620 --> 00:14:47.200
I am he, the lightning-eth
and thunder-eth.

290
00:14:47.200 --> 00:14:51.220
I am he, who's mouth flameth.

291
00:14:51.220 --> 00:14:56.220
I am he, the be-it-er and the
manifest down to the light.

292
00:14:57.090 --> 00:15:01.000
I am he, the grace of wills.

293
00:15:01.000 --> 00:15:04.430
Come down forth and follow me

294
00:15:04.430 --> 00:15:08.170
and make all sprits subject onto me

295
00:15:08.170 --> 00:15:12.790
so that every spirit of the
firmament and of the ether

296
00:15:12.790 --> 00:15:16.620
of on dry land or in outer space.

297
00:15:16.620 --> 00:15:19.023
Of a world in air and rushing fire,

298
00:15:19.880 --> 00:15:22.883
may be forever obedient onto me.

299
00:15:23.760 --> 00:15:25.260
Such are my words.

300
00:15:27.680 --> 00:15:29.900
- [Announcer] Attention,
you are now entering

301
00:15:29.900 --> 00:15:32.120
the debarkation area.

302
00:15:32.120 --> 00:15:34.740
No talking, no smoking.

303
00:15:34.740 --> 00:15:36.543
Follow the red line.

304
00:15:36.543 --> 00:15:38.700
You have the option to terminate

305
00:15:38.700 --> 00:15:41.610
and be cremated on the premises.

306
00:15:41.610 --> 00:15:44.630
If you elect this option
notify the officer

307
00:15:44.630 --> 00:15:46.650
in your processing area.

308
00:15:46.650 --> 00:15:48.203
- Hello, X15642.

309
00:15:49.630 --> 00:15:52.563
- That's Exterminator to you, Van Helsing.

310
00:15:53.481 --> 00:15:54.729
- Call me VH.

311
00:15:54.729 --> 00:15:57.703
- I'll call you dead meat if
you'll open that air lock.

312
00:15:57.703 --> 00:16:00.220
- You know I can't do that, X.

313
00:16:00.220 --> 00:16:02.439
- And you know I can't
stop obliterating anything

314
00:16:02.439 --> 00:16:05.430
and everything in my way.

315
00:16:05.430 --> 00:16:07.710
I'm programmed to destroy.

316
00:16:07.710 --> 00:16:10.252
- So I've heard by the Archons,

317
00:16:10.252 --> 00:16:12.500
but they're gonna lose, X.

318
00:16:12.500 --> 00:16:14.320
You're on the wrong side of history.

319
00:16:14.320 --> 00:16:16.950
- We'll just see about that, human.

320
00:16:16.950 --> 00:16:18.980
Why don't you come into my cell

321
00:16:18.980 --> 00:16:21.150
so I can render your swiney flesh

322
00:16:21.150 --> 00:16:23.230
from the brittle porous bone

323
00:16:23.230 --> 00:16:27.370
and paint a masterpiece on
the wall with your blood.

324
00:16:27.370 --> 00:16:29.390
- Vivid imagination you have there.

325
00:16:29.390 --> 00:16:31.940
Tell me, X, what's the
deal with the Archons'

326
00:16:31.940 --> 00:16:33.530
kinetic space bomb?

327
00:16:33.530 --> 00:16:35.235
- The space bomb?

328
00:16:35.235 --> 00:16:38.740
It will extinguish your
kind from this galaxy

329
00:16:38.740 --> 00:16:41.350
if I don't get to you first.

330
00:16:41.350 --> 00:16:42.760
- Sounds like a threat.

331
00:16:42.760 --> 00:16:45.920
- It's not a threat, a spoiler.

332
00:16:45.920 --> 00:16:47.977
- Considering we're the ones
that have you locked up,

333
00:16:47.977 --> 00:16:50.930
be a good idea to work with the Allies, X.

334
00:16:50.930 --> 00:16:54.050
It could make your time much easier.

335
00:16:54.050 --> 00:16:55.430
- Easier?

336
00:16:55.430 --> 00:16:58.920
I'm indestructible, you puny mortal.

337
00:16:58.920 --> 00:17:02.130
I'll be here long after
you're dust and bone.

338
00:17:02.130 --> 00:17:06.950
And mark my words, before
you die I'll get free

339
00:17:06.950 --> 00:17:10.010
and when I do I'll splay your children out

340
00:17:10.010 --> 00:17:13.860
to fashion the canvas
on which to dissect you.

341
00:17:13.860 --> 00:17:15.860
- Thanks, but I don't have kids.

342
00:17:15.860 --> 00:17:19.790
- Then I'll feed someone
else's to the meat grinder.

343
00:17:19.790 --> 00:17:22.130
- So, I'm guessing you
don't want to make a deal?

344
00:17:22.130 --> 00:17:25.600
- So astute you are, Van Helsing.

345
00:17:25.600 --> 00:17:26.913
- Call me VH.

346
00:17:28.173 --> 00:17:30.840
(ominous music)

347
00:17:43.550 --> 00:17:47.843
- Rest assured, Princess Kali,
I am loyal to your Allies

348
00:17:47.843 --> 00:17:50.963
and we will fight by
your side to the last.

349
00:17:50.963 --> 00:17:54.070
- Thank you, Queen Varuna.

350
00:17:54.070 --> 00:17:56.160
Your people held a special place

351
00:17:56.160 --> 00:17:59.500
in the hearts of my father
and his father before him.

352
00:17:59.500 --> 00:18:01.510
As leader of the Allied forces,

353
00:18:01.510 --> 00:18:03.820
I will not betray that trust.

354
00:18:03.820 --> 00:18:06.690
- I never expected you to, Princess.

355
00:18:06.690 --> 00:18:09.350
And in this war of wars,

356
00:18:09.350 --> 00:18:12.370
you may count my people
among your numbers.

357
00:18:12.370 --> 00:18:15.120
Where you fight, we fight.

358
00:18:15.120 --> 00:18:17.833
Where you win, we win.

359
00:18:17.833 --> 00:18:22.833
And where you die, we too will
gladly lay down our lives.

360
00:18:23.785 --> 00:18:28.700
- Well, it's a damn fine
cosmos with you in it, Varuna.

361
00:18:28.700 --> 00:18:29.690
Let's do this.

362
00:18:30.635 --> 00:18:33.302
(intense music)

363
00:18:38.190 --> 00:18:41.970
- The Archon-stine is nigh, Wrathcheld!

364
00:18:41.970 --> 00:18:44.420
We shall win at all costs.

365
00:18:44.420 --> 00:18:49.123
There are no Archon prisoners
of war, only traitors.

366
00:18:49.123 --> 00:18:50.770
- Indeed, General Lee-see-mus.

367
00:18:50.770 --> 00:18:53.430
On your formidable coattails we shall ride

368
00:18:53.430 --> 00:18:55.520
to ultimate victory.

369
00:18:55.520 --> 00:18:59.577
- Forward, march, march, march!

370
00:19:05.561 --> 00:19:07.894
(exploding)

371
00:19:28.610 --> 00:19:29.860
- General Lee-see-mus,

372
00:19:29.860 --> 00:19:32.690
I have the alleged fleet in my sights.

373
00:19:32.690 --> 00:19:35.150
They've got help from the Atlantians.

374
00:19:35.150 --> 00:19:38.780
- One ship alone cannot
dent two fleets, Sylus.

375
00:19:38.780 --> 00:19:41.510
Circle them and await your wingman.

376
00:19:41.510 --> 00:19:44.540
When the numbers are even, strike!

377
00:19:44.540 --> 00:19:48.205
- But I have a clean shot,
sir, I have to take it.

378
00:19:48.205 --> 00:19:49.363
- No, Sylus.

379
00:19:49.363 --> 00:19:54.015
Do not engage alone, I
repeat, do not engage!

380
00:19:54.015 --> 00:19:56.848
(missiles firing)

381
00:20:06.289 --> 00:20:09.042
(exploding)

382
00:20:09.042 --> 00:20:11.867
(screaming)

383
00:20:11.867 --> 00:20:12.700
Sylus, no!

384
00:20:16.197 --> 00:20:18.530
Fight on, Archons, fight on!

385
00:20:20.170 --> 00:20:22.291
We shall return for General Sylus,

386
00:20:22.291 --> 00:20:24.537
but not before I slaughter the remainder

387
00:20:24.537 --> 00:20:28.563
of the Allied swine and
hear them die screaming!

388
00:20:29.923 --> 00:20:32.090
(zapping)

389
00:20:32.960 --> 00:20:35.413
- I've got a lock on the
Archon mothership, Princess.

390
00:20:35.413 --> 00:20:37.049
What do you want me to do?

391
00:20:37.049 --> 00:20:38.382
- Take the shot!

392
00:20:42.276 --> 00:20:44.609
(exploding)

393
00:20:46.471 --> 00:20:48.638
(zapping)

394
00:20:51.553 --> 00:20:53.850
Varuna, no, no, no.

395
00:20:53.850 --> 00:20:56.993
Pull back, Allies, retreat, retreat!

396
00:20:56.993 --> 00:20:59.993
(tense piano music)

397
00:21:15.658 --> 00:21:19.937
- Sylus, an Archon hero
has been lost today

398
00:21:19.937 --> 00:21:22.355
but we shall fight on.

399
00:21:22.355 --> 00:21:24.633
We shall persevere.

400
00:21:24.633 --> 00:21:26.133
We shall overcome!

401
00:21:27.380 --> 00:21:29.910
We shall exhaust and outlast the enemy

402
00:21:29.910 --> 00:21:33.390
until the blood oozes
from their weary eyes.

403
00:21:33.390 --> 00:21:37.170
Until the last drops of
sweat drains the energy

404
00:21:37.170 --> 00:21:39.800
from their ravaged bodies.

405
00:21:39.800 --> 00:21:44.800
We shall have our revenge
on Sylus' corpse, I swear!

406
00:21:51.018 --> 00:21:53.768
(dramatic music)

407
00:22:14.000 --> 00:22:15.070
- There you are.

408
00:22:15.070 --> 00:22:16.900
I've been looking everywhere for you.

409
00:22:16.900 --> 00:22:19.510
- Just getting a little
work out while I can.

410
00:22:19.510 --> 00:22:22.460
Three months in a T-wing
cockpit is hell on the joints.

411
00:22:22.460 --> 00:22:23.560
- Tell me about it.

412
00:22:23.560 --> 00:22:26.690
I flew the T-wing under my
father when he lead the Allies.

413
00:22:26.690 --> 00:22:28.406
- You don't say.

414
00:22:28.406 --> 00:22:31.260
How'd you manage the
legroom with those gams?

415
00:22:31.260 --> 00:22:32.900
- You'll have to come into my cockpit

416
00:22:32.900 --> 00:22:34.630
and find out for yourself, mister.

417
00:22:34.630 --> 00:22:37.370
- I might take you up on that.

418
00:22:37.370 --> 00:22:38.950
I love a girl who can fight.

419
00:22:38.950 --> 00:22:41.791
- If you also share memories
with Jack Van Helsing,

420
00:22:41.791 --> 00:22:44.130
you know what else I can do.

421
00:22:44.130 --> 00:22:46.280
- I'm just flesh and blood, Kali.

422
00:22:46.280 --> 00:22:48.233
Strictly a biological clone.

423
00:22:55.730 --> 00:22:58.360
- How was the meeting
with the Exterminator?

424
00:22:58.360 --> 00:22:59.430
- The shits.

425
00:22:59.430 --> 00:23:01.640
That thing didn't give up a shred.

426
00:23:01.640 --> 00:23:03.160
- I'm not surprised.

427
00:23:03.160 --> 00:23:04.940
Those bots are programmed to kill.

428
00:23:04.940 --> 00:23:07.810
Personal interaction is
only a nuanced byproduct

429
00:23:07.810 --> 00:23:11.250
of the mass of information
their hard drives hold.

430
00:23:11.250 --> 00:23:13.730
- You said bots?

431
00:23:13.730 --> 00:23:14.940
There are others?

432
00:23:14.940 --> 00:23:16.510
- None that we have captured

433
00:23:16.510 --> 00:23:19.360
but blueprints from the
lab my father seized

434
00:23:19.360 --> 00:23:21.330
show us an assembly line.

435
00:23:21.330 --> 00:23:23.470
And our deep space surveillance spotted

436
00:23:23.470 --> 00:23:26.260
two others on the outskirts of the galaxy.

437
00:23:26.260 --> 00:23:28.300
They appear to be rogue robots

438
00:23:28.300 --> 00:23:30.100
with no affiliations.

439
00:23:30.100 --> 00:23:32.010
- Maybe you can recruit them yourself,

440
00:23:32.010 --> 00:23:33.233
turn them on the Archons.

441
00:23:33.233 --> 00:23:36.580
- That was the plan for
the one you spoke to

442
00:23:36.580 --> 00:23:39.433
but there's been no
getting through to him.

443
00:23:40.390 --> 00:23:42.850
There seems to be a ghost in the machine,

444
00:23:42.850 --> 00:23:44.470
some programming bug.

445
00:23:44.470 --> 00:23:46.290
But that sets the hardware to destroy

446
00:23:46.290 --> 00:23:49.450
and dials the intensity up to 11.

447
00:23:49.450 --> 00:23:52.330
Someday, we'll figure out a hack.

448
00:23:52.330 --> 00:23:55.202
Until then, we keep fighting.

449
00:23:55.202 --> 00:23:57.780
- I heard about a fleet clash
in the nor-shada-neb-ula.

450
00:23:57.780 --> 00:23:58.670
How did it go?

451
00:23:58.670 --> 00:24:00.210
- Badly.

452
00:24:00.210 --> 00:24:01.393
We had to retreat.

453
00:24:02.370 --> 00:24:06.008
We lost a great Ally and friend today.

454
00:24:06.008 --> 00:24:07.410
- Sorry.

455
00:24:07.410 --> 00:24:08.540
- Thank you.

456
00:24:08.540 --> 00:24:11.840
Some of these battles
we win, some we don't.

457
00:24:11.840 --> 00:24:14.510
The important thing is the tide of the war

458
00:24:14.510 --> 00:24:16.813
and I feel like it's
slipping away from us.

459
00:24:18.330 --> 00:24:19.889
I'm worried, VH.

460
00:24:19.889 --> 00:24:21.400
- I have an idea.

461
00:24:21.400 --> 00:24:24.520
An old friend of mine, he's elusive,

462
00:24:24.520 --> 00:24:26.020
but if we can locate him

463
00:24:26.020 --> 00:24:28.143
he'd be a great addition to the Allies.

464
00:24:29.030 --> 00:24:30.382
- Is he tough?

465
00:24:30.382 --> 00:24:31.498
- Tough?

466
00:24:31.498 --> 00:24:32.331
(laughing)

467
00:24:32.331 --> 00:24:34.036
He's a war machine!

468
00:24:34.036 --> 00:24:36.536
(tense music)

469
00:25:01.681 --> 00:25:03.931
(growling)

470
00:25:06.880 --> 00:25:09.687
Well, if it isn't the infamous Bigfoot.

471
00:25:09.687 --> 00:25:11.962
How've you been, big guy?

472
00:25:11.962 --> 00:25:15.363
- Remove that helmet
and identify yourself,

473
00:25:16.420 --> 00:25:18.703
lest I rip you limb from limb.

474
00:25:19.650 --> 00:25:23.483
- Whoa buddy, I'm no gambler,
it's me, Van Helsing.

475
00:25:24.380 --> 00:25:25.730
- Van Helsing?

476
00:25:25.730 --> 00:25:26.700
Which one?

477
00:25:26.700 --> 00:25:27.960
- Not the original.

478
00:25:27.960 --> 00:25:30.900
- Dude, I hate that little prick.

479
00:25:30.900 --> 00:25:33.620
Pounds a steak into a couple
of poncy dickheads with fangs.

480
00:25:33.620 --> 00:25:37.730
All of a sudden he's a big hero.

481
00:25:37.730 --> 00:25:39.660
Hero, my ass.

482
00:25:39.660 --> 00:25:42.580
- I hear that a lot, but I'm not him.

483
00:25:42.580 --> 00:25:44.995
I'm the guy who had your back
against the Crom-you-lans

484
00:25:44.995 --> 00:25:47.350
in that saloon fight a couple years back.

485
00:25:47.350 --> 00:25:50.473
- Right, you're one bad motherfucker, VH.

486
00:25:51.830 --> 00:25:54.960
What brings you to this remote location?

487
00:25:54.960 --> 00:25:57.660
I ain't easy to find, Earth or no Earth.

488
00:25:57.660 --> 00:25:59.160
- Tell me about it.

489
00:25:59.160 --> 00:26:01.660
Remember after we left those Croms laying

490
00:26:01.660 --> 00:26:05.120
you said if I ever needed
anything you owed me one.

491
00:26:05.120 --> 00:26:07.193
Well, I need your help.

492
00:26:08.250 --> 00:26:10.400
- Those Croms hold a grudge.

493
00:26:10.400 --> 00:26:12.020
They didn't jump you, did they?

494
00:26:12.020 --> 00:26:13.920
Sneaky fuckers, hmm.

495
00:26:13.920 --> 00:26:16.420
- No, Bigfoot, it's not the Crom-you-lans.

496
00:26:16.420 --> 00:26:17.343
It's the Archons.

497
00:26:18.580 --> 00:26:20.760
- Whoa, you crossed the Archon army?

498
00:26:20.760 --> 00:26:23.700
My man, you must have a death wish.

499
00:26:23.700 --> 00:26:25.007
- Just the opposite.

500
00:26:25.007 --> 00:26:27.062
I'm with the Allies now.

501
00:26:27.062 --> 00:26:28.750
- The Allies, huh?

502
00:26:28.750 --> 00:26:31.313
So you got some firepower behind you?

503
00:26:31.313 --> 00:26:33.677
Okay, I'm in.

504
00:26:33.677 --> 00:26:36.480
I fucking love crushing Archon skulls.

505
00:26:36.480 --> 00:26:39.760
Once in a blue moon they
come poking around out here

506
00:26:39.760 --> 00:26:42.350
and I always get a kick
out of stringing them up

507
00:26:42.350 --> 00:26:44.020
and dressing them out.

508
00:26:44.020 --> 00:26:47.163
Those Archon bellies
pop like pinatas, boy.

509
00:26:53.723 --> 00:26:55.390
Mm, nice, very nice.

510
00:26:57.060 --> 00:27:02.017
Aluminum composite, ceramic
composite, carbon composite,

511
00:27:02.017 --> 00:27:06.103
titanium alloy, swanky
digs you Allies got here.

512
00:27:06.990 --> 00:27:10.160
- We're glad you like it, welcome aboard.

513
00:27:10.160 --> 00:27:12.690
- You could warm up this
lighting if you wanted to.

514
00:27:12.690 --> 00:27:16.740
Florescents really catch
the gray hairs in my coat.

515
00:27:16.740 --> 00:27:18.730
- I think you'll find
it pretty comfortable

516
00:27:18.730 --> 00:27:21.360
compared to that barren
planet I found you on.

517
00:27:21.360 --> 00:27:23.040
- Don't knock it till you try it.

518
00:27:23.040 --> 00:27:24.920
Silence is golden.

519
00:27:24.920 --> 00:27:27.700
- Bigfoot, I'd like to take
you to our command center

520
00:27:27.700 --> 00:27:31.010
and brief you on our progress
to date against the Archons.

521
00:27:31.010 --> 00:27:32.220
- Whoa, Nelly.

522
00:27:32.220 --> 00:27:34.687
You're using them fancy boardroom terms

523
00:27:34.687 --> 00:27:36.677
and my feet falling asleep.

524
00:27:36.677 --> 00:27:40.771
I'm a Sasquatch, let's
keep it loose, you hear?

525
00:27:40.771 --> 00:27:42.600
- [Kali] As you wish.

526
00:27:42.600 --> 00:27:44.450
- [Announcer] Breach in sector seven.

527
00:27:44.450 --> 00:27:47.030
Exterior access denied

528
00:27:47.030 --> 00:27:49.649
prison staff only in thruways.

529
00:27:49.649 --> 00:27:53.550
If you are not staff and
currently outside your cell,

530
00:27:53.550 --> 00:27:55.570
lie down and await instruction

531
00:27:55.570 --> 00:27:57.943
from the duty sergeant in your area.

532
00:27:58.820 --> 00:28:02.823
Any failure to comply will
result in termination on site.

533
00:28:03.670 --> 00:28:05.707
- Good news coming from Pond and Sticks.

534
00:28:05.707 --> 00:28:08.450
Aleister, our plan worked to perfection.

535
00:28:08.450 --> 00:28:11.205
No prison is strong enough
to hold that machine.

536
00:28:11.205 --> 00:28:13.630
The Exterminator is free.

537
00:28:13.630 --> 00:28:15.340
- As it should be.

538
00:28:15.340 --> 00:28:19.357
Do as thou wilt shall
be the whole of the law.

539
00:28:19.357 --> 00:28:22.150
- I can't wait for the
weapon of mass destruction

540
00:28:22.150 --> 00:28:26.060
to rendezvous with us and
join our ranks at last.

541
00:28:26.060 --> 00:28:27.860
The addition of the Exterminator

542
00:28:27.860 --> 00:28:30.860
will render the Archons unstoppable.

543
00:28:30.860 --> 00:28:34.360
Very soon, the galaxy will be ours.

544
00:28:34.360 --> 00:28:38.403
- To seek to dominate,
another is to seek to destroy.

545
00:28:39.260 --> 00:28:42.620
- Yes, and once the
Exterminator is by our side

546
00:28:42.620 --> 00:28:45.280
we'll destroy everything in our way.

547
00:28:45.280 --> 00:28:47.410
Do you hear me, Aleister?

548
00:28:47.410 --> 00:28:48.905
Everything.

549
00:28:48.905 --> 00:28:50.238
- Oh delightful.

550
00:28:51.390 --> 00:28:54.570
For a man who is doing his true will

551
00:28:54.570 --> 00:28:58.524
has the inertia of the
universe to assist him.

552
00:28:58.524 --> 00:29:03.524
However, now is the time to
tread carefully, Wrathcheld.

553
00:29:03.680 --> 00:29:06.950
The Exterminator attends
matters of the flesh

554
00:29:06.950 --> 00:29:09.870
but to conquer life as we know it,

555
00:29:09.870 --> 00:29:13.900
one must also tend matters of the soul.

556
00:29:13.900 --> 00:29:16.320
- What are you getting at, Aleister?

557
00:29:16.320 --> 00:29:17.900
You don't want to gather the Allies

558
00:29:17.900 --> 00:29:21.630
in some dumbass prayer circle, do you?

559
00:29:21.630 --> 00:29:24.140
- No, far from it.

560
00:29:24.140 --> 00:29:27.040
I want to awaken the eternal spirit

561
00:29:27.040 --> 00:29:28.853
of the sun god, Ra.

562
00:29:30.100 --> 00:29:34.583
The most vengeful, meanest
motherfucker to ever be.

563
00:29:36.100 --> 00:29:39.230
- Princess Kali, I want to
thank you for bringing me

564
00:29:39.230 --> 00:29:41.240
this impressive specimen.

565
00:29:41.240 --> 00:29:45.712
He's amazing, simply amazing.

566
00:29:45.712 --> 00:29:49.090
Tell me, creature, what's your diet?

567
00:29:49.090 --> 00:29:50.260
- My diet?

568
00:29:50.260 --> 00:29:52.190
What kind of question is that?

569
00:29:52.190 --> 00:29:54.430
If it moves, I eat it.

570
00:29:54.430 --> 00:29:56.800
- Oh, I see.

571
00:29:56.800 --> 00:29:59.550
Come creature, sit on
my chair for a moment.

572
00:29:59.550 --> 00:30:02.930
I'd like to run some rudimentary
tests on you if I may.

573
00:30:02.930 --> 00:30:05.600
- Tests, what kind of tests?

574
00:30:05.600 --> 00:30:08.000
And how come you people
never show your faces?

575
00:30:08.000 --> 00:30:10.270
I like to see who I'm talking to.

576
00:30:10.270 --> 00:30:11.780
- Now, now, hold still.

577
00:30:11.780 --> 00:30:14.060
I'm just going to draw a small
amount of blood from you.

578
00:30:14.060 --> 00:30:15.250
- Blood?

579
00:30:15.250 --> 00:30:16.850
You and what army?

580
00:30:16.850 --> 00:30:19.620
You try to prick me, I
will rip that helmet off

581
00:30:19.620 --> 00:30:21.972
with your head still in it, cocksucker.

582
00:30:21.972 --> 00:30:23.209
- Easy, Bigfoot.

583
00:30:23.209 --> 00:30:25.506
Dr. Jeckyll may seem unconventional

584
00:30:25.506 --> 00:30:27.640
but we're all friends here.

585
00:30:27.640 --> 00:30:30.500
- No, you're all friends here, VH.

586
00:30:30.500 --> 00:30:33.110
I'm the mythical Sasquatch and I know

587
00:30:33.110 --> 00:30:36.080
what glorified lab rats wanna do to me.

588
00:30:36.080 --> 00:30:38.880
Get their ugly mugs in the science rags.

589
00:30:38.880 --> 00:30:41.090
Bag that Nobel Peace Prize.

590
00:30:41.090 --> 00:30:43.580
- I assure you you're
overreacting Bigfoot,

591
00:30:43.580 --> 00:30:45.330
tell you what, forget the blood.

592
00:30:45.330 --> 00:30:47.180
We'll just snip a bit of your hair.

593
00:30:47.180 --> 00:30:50.380
- Come at me with snips and
I'll ram 'em up your ass

594
00:30:50.380 --> 00:30:52.373
sharp end first, geek.

595
00:30:53.220 --> 00:30:57.403
Nobody pokes, pricks or sticks Bigfoot.

596
00:30:58.410 --> 00:31:00.872
- [Announcer] Well, duly noted.

597
00:31:00.872 --> 00:31:04.610
What's say we just provide a
saliva sample for DNA testing

598
00:31:04.610 --> 00:31:05.610
and that will be that,

599
00:31:05.610 --> 00:31:06.860
just spit in a cup for me, yeah.

600
00:31:06.860 --> 00:31:10.260
- How about I just spit on
your broken, bloody corpse

601
00:31:10.260 --> 00:31:12.950
and after I smash the
shit out of this room

602
00:31:12.950 --> 00:31:16.030
with a baseball bat shaped like you.

603
00:31:16.030 --> 00:31:17.350
- Alright, that's enough.

604
00:31:17.350 --> 00:31:18.850
- I'm sorry Dr. Jeckyll,

605
00:31:18.850 --> 00:31:21.010
perhaps we'll revisit this another time.

606
00:31:21.010 --> 00:31:23.887
Right now I'd like to
focus on your inventions.

607
00:31:23.887 --> 00:31:26.053
You say you have something for us?

608
00:31:26.053 --> 00:31:27.120
- That I do.

609
00:31:27.120 --> 00:31:30.880
Kali, allow me to introduce
the Teleport Chip 5000.

610
00:31:30.880 --> 00:31:32.870
- Sounds like a toaster oven.

611
00:31:32.870 --> 00:31:34.560
- What does it do, doctor?

612
00:31:34.560 --> 00:31:35.393
- I'm glad you asked.

613
00:31:35.393 --> 00:31:37.580
You know how I was using computerized data

614
00:31:37.580 --> 00:31:39.446
to be uploaded directly to the brain

615
00:31:39.446 --> 00:31:41.820
for the physical body to be teleported

616
00:31:41.820 --> 00:31:44.868
anywhere in the universe
with untraceable signal?

617
00:31:44.868 --> 00:31:46.770
- Badass!

618
00:31:46.770 --> 00:31:48.570
- With the Teleport Chip 5000,

619
00:31:48.570 --> 00:31:50.500
we can hack into the Archon mainframes

620
00:31:50.500 --> 00:31:53.330
without a need for
workarounds, pass codes,

621
00:31:53.330 --> 00:31:55.680
phishing, hacking or cracking.

622
00:31:55.680 --> 00:31:57.780
It's an all encompassing backstage pass

623
00:31:57.780 --> 00:32:01.390
for anything they have stored
or active in their systems.

624
00:32:01.390 --> 00:32:03.300
- And the teleportation?

625
00:32:03.300 --> 00:32:05.010
- With the T-5000 implant

626
00:32:05.010 --> 00:32:08.410
you can spontaneously deconstruct
our physical metabolisms

627
00:32:08.410 --> 00:32:10.700
and reconstruct them within milliseconds

628
00:32:10.700 --> 00:32:14.480
on any wireless access
point of a wifi signal.

629
00:32:14.480 --> 00:32:16.290
- That's incredible.

630
00:32:16.290 --> 00:32:18.553
- I thought so too.

631
00:32:19.650 --> 00:32:21.973
- So then, who's first?

632
00:32:23.566 --> 00:32:25.833
- I don't know about
your partners here, VH,

633
00:32:25.833 --> 00:32:27.500
they're a weird bunch.

634
00:32:27.500 --> 00:32:30.230
And that doctor and
his henchmen in the lab

635
00:32:30.230 --> 00:32:32.200
were straight up fucking nuts.

636
00:32:32.200 --> 00:32:34.030
- Give 'em a chance.

637
00:32:34.030 --> 00:32:37.120
It's not as weird as it seems at first.

638
00:32:37.120 --> 00:32:40.590
- Well, if there's one thing
my elusive nature's telling me

639
00:32:40.590 --> 00:32:43.250
it's to trust my first impression.

640
00:32:43.250 --> 00:32:45.878
- Maybe your time in the
wild is going to your senses.

641
00:32:45.878 --> 00:32:47.950
You're getting older, Foot,

642
00:32:47.950 --> 00:32:50.720
you ever think maybe
you've lost your edge?

643
00:32:50.720 --> 00:32:53.620
- Lost my edge?

644
00:32:53.620 --> 00:32:56.410
You're one to talk,
you're a fucking clone.

645
00:32:56.410 --> 00:32:58.730
- I still have a moral compass.

646
00:32:58.730 --> 00:33:00.770
I still know right from wrong.

647
00:33:00.770 --> 00:33:02.070
- You saying I don't?

648
00:33:02.070 --> 00:33:04.598
- Jeckyll was in awe of you.

649
00:33:04.598 --> 00:33:07.770
You almost killed him
for suggesting tests.

650
00:33:07.770 --> 00:33:10.700
- I know how these doctors work.

651
00:33:10.700 --> 00:33:12.520
Tests lead to more tests.

652
00:33:12.520 --> 00:33:15.080
Then to a bed, then to a cage,

653
00:33:15.080 --> 00:33:17.080
then to an operating table,

654
00:33:17.080 --> 00:33:21.240
then to cremation, them
bam, you're a fucking clone.

655
00:33:21.240 --> 00:33:22.910
- You trying to say something to me?

656
00:33:22.910 --> 00:33:24.970
- When's the last time anybody saw

657
00:33:24.970 --> 00:33:28.870
the real Jack Van Helsing, huh?

658
00:33:28.870 --> 00:33:32.120
- For all we know you don't exist.

659
00:33:32.120 --> 00:33:35.820
- Nah, all real grade-A beef here.

660
00:33:35.820 --> 00:33:37.930
- You got a problem with me, big guy?

661
00:33:37.930 --> 00:33:40.323
- If the helmet fits, wear it.

662
00:33:43.803 --> 00:33:46.450
I ain't good with small spaces.

663
00:33:46.450 --> 00:33:49.040
Feels like the walls are closing in.

664
00:33:49.040 --> 00:33:50.368
I'm gonna get some air.

665
00:33:50.368 --> 00:33:52.290
- We're in space, Foot!

666
00:33:52.290 --> 00:33:54.430
There is no air!

667
00:33:54.430 --> 00:33:56.310
- Fuck it, I'll hold my breath.

668
00:33:56.310 --> 00:33:58.810
I'm sick of squeezing past these machines.

669
00:33:58.810 --> 00:34:00.600
I gotta clear my head.

670
00:34:00.600 --> 00:34:02.157
- Sounds like a good idea.

671
00:34:02.157 --> 00:34:04.640
If you need me, I'll be with Kali.

672
00:34:04.640 --> 00:34:06.923
- [Bigfoot] I bet you will.

673
00:34:19.670 --> 00:34:21.580
- [Kali] We just got more bad news, VH.

674
00:34:21.580 --> 00:34:23.630
The Exterminator has escaped.

675
00:34:23.630 --> 00:34:26.790
It's loose in the galaxy, somewhere.

676
00:34:26.790 --> 00:34:29.560
- Oh, that's gonna come
back to bite us on the ass.

677
00:34:29.560 --> 00:34:31.340
Guess we need to watch our six.

678
00:34:31.340 --> 00:34:33.730
- I put out an interstellar APB.

679
00:34:33.730 --> 00:34:36.000
It won't take long to find that model.

680
00:34:36.000 --> 00:34:38.090
Its rationale chip is dead.

681
00:34:38.090 --> 00:34:40.642
Sooner than later it'll make a mistake.

682
00:34:40.642 --> 00:34:45.430
Speaking of rationale, how
does your Sasquatch like us?

683
00:34:45.430 --> 00:34:46.940
- He wants to kill you all.

684
00:34:46.940 --> 00:34:48.170
- I see.

685
00:34:48.170 --> 00:34:51.210
I should mention every chamber
and corridor of this vessel

686
00:34:51.210 --> 00:34:53.500
is equipped with knockout gas in the event

687
00:34:53.500 --> 00:34:55.830
of a hijacking or mutiny.

688
00:34:55.830 --> 00:34:57.770
- I expect nothing less, Princess.

689
00:34:57.770 --> 00:34:59.986
- If your friend isn't
on board with our cause

690
00:34:59.986 --> 00:35:03.550
he is free to leave at
any time, and should.

691
00:35:03.550 --> 00:35:04.800
- He'll be fine.

692
00:35:04.800 --> 00:35:07.830
Small spaces freak him
out, he's claustrophobic.

693
00:35:07.830 --> 00:35:10.030
- Maybe space isn't the place for him.

694
00:35:10.030 --> 00:35:12.050
- Maybe not, but that
doesn't change the fact

695
00:35:12.050 --> 00:35:13.830
that you need all the help you can get.

696
00:35:13.830 --> 00:35:17.400
- What I need right now a
Sasquatch can't help me with.

697
00:35:17.400 --> 00:35:18.880
But you can.

698
00:35:18.880 --> 00:35:19.757
- Oh.
- Oh?

699
00:35:25.730 --> 00:35:28.960
- Princess Kali, it is me, Xio.

700
00:35:30.028 --> 00:35:32.119
- Xio, are you alright?

701
00:35:32.119 --> 00:35:34.160
Is your ship in tact?

702
00:35:34.160 --> 00:35:35.440
Are you shredded?

703
00:35:35.440 --> 00:35:39.170
- I escaped our battle with
both my ship and my life

704
00:35:39.170 --> 00:35:44.170
but without my queen I'm not
sure what there is to live for.

705
00:35:46.100 --> 00:35:48.930
- Xio, don't think like that.

706
00:35:48.930 --> 00:35:52.210
I know you loved Varuna, we all did.

707
00:35:52.210 --> 00:35:55.470
But there's more to live for and fight for

708
00:35:55.470 --> 00:35:58.200
now than ever before.

709
00:35:58.200 --> 00:36:01.296
- I wish I could say I shared
that sentiment, Princess,

710
00:36:01.296 --> 00:36:04.970
but I've been considering surrender.

711
00:36:04.970 --> 00:36:07.070
- I'm going to pretend I didn't hear that.

712
00:36:07.070 --> 00:36:08.960
We don't say that word around here.

713
00:36:08.960 --> 00:36:13.933
Xio, I want you to listen
to me and listen closely.

714
00:36:13.933 --> 00:36:17.040
I'm not just the commander of this fleet,

715
00:36:17.040 --> 00:36:21.000
I'm an Ally through and
through like my father

716
00:36:21.000 --> 00:36:24.400
and his father before him
and his father before him.

717
00:36:24.400 --> 00:36:29.350
I'll never stop no matter how
many Allies fall in battle

718
00:36:29.350 --> 00:36:33.660
and I'd sooner die myself than stand down

719
00:36:33.660 --> 00:36:36.980
and allow an Archon universe to rise.

720
00:36:36.980 --> 00:36:39.890
Do I make myself clear?

721
00:36:39.890 --> 00:36:42.010
- Yes, Princess.

722
00:36:42.010 --> 00:36:44.910
- Good, go take some time for yourself.

723
00:36:44.910 --> 00:36:47.530
Mourn your queen as we all will.

724
00:36:47.530 --> 00:36:49.760
And when the order comes to reconvene

725
00:36:49.760 --> 00:36:52.410
I expect to see you on our front lines

726
00:36:52.410 --> 00:36:56.713
ready to fight again in Varuna's honor.

727
00:36:56.713 --> 00:36:59.597
- Yes, Princess.

728
00:37:03.380 --> 00:37:06.613
- You're one sexy princess, you know that?

729
00:37:10.640 --> 00:37:13.140
(tense music)

730
00:37:22.210 --> 00:37:25.390
- Greetings, Exterminator,
and congratulations

731
00:37:25.390 --> 00:37:27.110
on your prison break.

732
00:37:27.110 --> 00:37:30.213
The carnage you caused remains
visible for light years.

733
00:37:30.213 --> 00:37:34.040
I spent a lifetime splintering
enemies and innocents alike

734
00:37:34.040 --> 00:37:37.680
and I've never seen such
a jet stream of blood.

735
00:37:37.680 --> 00:37:40.720
You're quite the engine of destruction.

736
00:37:40.720 --> 00:37:44.830
- Come closer, talking
head, and I'll kill you too.

737
00:37:44.830 --> 00:37:46.650
(laughing)

738
00:37:46.650 --> 00:37:47.567
- How cute.

739
00:37:48.520 --> 00:37:49.830
- What's that?

740
00:37:49.830 --> 00:37:51.188
Who said that?

741
00:37:51.188 --> 00:37:52.850
Who's there?

742
00:37:52.850 --> 00:37:55.047
- That's my colleague, his name is--

743
00:37:55.047 --> 00:38:00.047
- The great beast, 666,
do as thou wilt, robot,

744
00:38:00.550 --> 00:38:05.340
and let the blood of innocents
flow through your hydraulics.

745
00:38:05.340 --> 00:38:06.770
- Sounds good to me.

746
00:38:06.770 --> 00:38:11.770
Tell me, great beast, are you innocent?

747
00:38:12.380 --> 00:38:13.821
- Me?

748
00:38:13.821 --> 00:38:14.654
Innocent?

749
00:38:15.510 --> 00:38:17.577
I am evil incarnate.

750
00:38:19.490 --> 00:38:20.873
- Are you Satan?

751
00:38:22.009 --> 00:38:24.570
- Satan, my dear robot,

752
00:38:24.570 --> 00:38:27.914
the servant Satan is not the enemy of man

753
00:38:27.914 --> 00:38:32.210
but he who has made gods of our species.

754
00:38:32.210 --> 00:38:36.630
Knowing good and evil,
he bayed know thyself.

755
00:38:36.630 --> 00:38:41.410
In Tartan tuition, we
are all Satan, even you.

756
00:38:41.410 --> 00:38:44.500
Just like we are all God.

757
00:38:44.500 --> 00:38:47.150
- Have fun out there, Exterminator.

758
00:38:47.150 --> 00:38:51.070
Get that violence and
bloodletting into your system.

759
00:38:51.070 --> 00:38:53.173
- Yes, do as thou wilt.

760
00:38:54.540 --> 00:38:57.290
(dramatic music)

761
00:39:06.220 --> 00:39:09.310
- You there, this is my air space.

762
00:39:09.310 --> 00:39:11.510
Submit or perish.

763
00:39:11.510 --> 00:39:13.277
- Excuse me, tin man.

764
00:39:13.277 --> 00:39:15.490
Are you talking to me?

765
00:39:15.490 --> 00:39:17.460
- I don't see anyone else here

766
00:39:17.460 --> 00:39:20.880
so I must be talking to you, gorilla.

767
00:39:20.880 --> 00:39:21.870
- Gorilla?

768
00:39:21.870 --> 00:39:24.200
Who the fuck you calling a gorilla?

769
00:39:24.200 --> 00:39:26.245
I'm Bigfoot, motherfucker.

770
00:39:26.245 --> 00:39:28.970
- Prepare to die.

771
00:39:28.970 --> 00:39:31.876
- Don't sing it, bring it, bitch.

772
00:39:31.876 --> 00:39:32.709
(zapping)

773
00:39:32.709 --> 00:39:35.709
(suspenseful music)

774
00:40:09.089 --> 00:40:10.096
(exploding)

775
00:40:10.096 --> 00:40:12.240
- It's an ambush, we're under attack!

776
00:40:12.240 --> 00:40:13.420
- They're Archon fighters!

777
00:40:13.420 --> 00:40:16.650
- We must protect our
headquarters no matter what.

778
00:40:16.650 --> 00:40:19.190
Bort, deploy our fighter fleet at once.

779
00:40:19.190 --> 00:40:21.670
Shoot first, no questions.

780
00:40:21.670 --> 00:40:23.890
- Deploying our fighters
now, Princess Kali.

781
00:40:23.890 --> 00:40:25.180
- Save me a seat.

782
00:40:25.180 --> 00:40:26.760
I'm joining the front line.

783
00:40:26.760 --> 00:40:29.290
- So much for your Sasquatch, VH.

784
00:40:29.290 --> 00:40:30.258
Where is he?

785
00:40:30.258 --> 00:40:31.974
- I don't know.

786
00:40:31.974 --> 00:40:33.027
- I do.

787
00:40:33.027 --> 00:40:34.570
He abandoned us.

788
00:40:34.570 --> 00:40:35.892
- He'd never do that.

789
00:40:35.892 --> 00:40:38.063
Bigfoot's loyal, I think.

790
00:40:55.000 --> 00:40:57.850
God damn it, Foot, you're
making me look bad.

791
00:40:57.850 --> 00:40:59.540
Where the fuck did you go?

792
00:41:06.570 --> 00:41:08.720
You better not have
sold me out, Sasquatch.

793
00:41:12.647 --> 00:41:16.713
- Is that all you got,
you overblown windup toy?

794
00:41:18.670 --> 00:41:20.690
- You're still alive.

795
00:41:20.690 --> 00:41:23.977
I was considering leashing you as my pet.

796
00:41:23.977 --> 00:41:28.977
But no, I think I'll watch
you die screaming instead.

797
00:41:29.160 --> 00:41:31.330
- Kiss my furry ass.

798
00:41:31.330 --> 00:41:35.963
1984 called, it wants its Terminator back.

799
00:41:35.963 --> 00:41:37.370
- [Kali] VH, our screens are showing

800
00:41:37.370 --> 00:41:39.060
a blitzing media shower.

801
00:41:39.060 --> 00:41:40.790
Is everything alright?

802
00:41:40.790 --> 00:41:43.140
- Thanks for noticing, Princess.

803
00:41:43.140 --> 00:41:45.330
I thought you didn't like me anymore.

804
00:41:45.330 --> 00:41:47.880
- Just get your ass back here in one piece

805
00:41:47.880 --> 00:41:49.870
and I'll show you how much I like you

806
00:41:49.870 --> 00:41:52.240
in no uncertain terms.

807
00:41:52.240 --> 00:41:53.386
- Hey now.

808
00:41:53.386 --> 00:41:55.969
(upbeat music)

809
00:41:59.690 --> 00:42:01.193
- Die, you big simian.

810
00:42:05.630 --> 00:42:06.676
Die.

811
00:42:06.676 --> 00:42:09.648
(laughing)

812
00:42:09.648 --> 00:42:12.520
- Comrades, kneeling compatriots,

813
00:42:12.520 --> 00:42:16.410
I congratulate you on
another well executed attack.

814
00:42:16.410 --> 00:42:20.470
The great day of victory over
the Allies is drawing nearer.

815
00:42:20.470 --> 00:42:24.102
Our Archon armies shall force
the Allies to their knees

816
00:42:24.102 --> 00:42:28.523
until in defeat they declare
unconditional surrender!

817
00:42:28.523 --> 00:42:33.200
This great war will end with
our complete and utter victory.

818
00:42:34.200 --> 00:42:37.510
The period of human rule
over this galaxy is over

819
00:42:38.500 --> 00:42:42.243
and the period of
reptilian rule shall begin!

820
00:42:43.630 --> 00:42:46.650
I congratulate you on victory in advance,

821
00:42:46.650 --> 00:42:48.717
my Archon compatriots!

822
00:42:49.702 --> 00:42:51.580
Glory to the heroic Archon

823
00:42:51.580 --> 00:42:54.300
who upholds the independence of reptiles

824
00:42:54.300 --> 00:42:59.300
and bring victory over the
enemies with bloody finality.

825
00:42:59.370 --> 00:43:04.370
Glory to our great Archons,
the Archons victorious,

826
00:43:05.854 --> 00:43:08.893
harbingers of a new era of darkness!

827
00:43:09.976 --> 00:43:12.476
(tense music)

828
00:43:15.074 --> 00:43:17.477
- In the years of primal course

829
00:43:17.477 --> 00:43:20.137
and the dawn of terrestrial burn

830
00:43:21.286 --> 00:43:23.703
my master commanded the horse

831
00:43:24.610 --> 00:43:28.528
and man was lord of the Earth.

832
00:43:28.528 --> 00:43:31.804
We made tomorrow's skin

833
00:43:31.804 --> 00:43:35.760
from the heart of the holy tree.

834
00:43:35.760 --> 00:43:38.890
He encompassed the earth therein

835
00:43:38.890 --> 00:43:43.055
and man was lord of the sea.

836
00:43:43.055 --> 00:43:45.850
He controlled the vigor of steam,

837
00:43:45.850 --> 00:43:49.210
he harnessed the lightning for hire,

838
00:43:49.210 --> 00:43:51.910
he drove the celestial team

839
00:43:51.910 --> 00:43:55.313
and man was the lord of fire.

840
00:43:56.630 --> 00:44:00.735
Deep mouthed from the throne, deep seated.

841
00:44:00.735 --> 00:44:03.789
(mumbling)

842
00:44:03.789 --> 00:44:06.456
The last of the deal is defeated

843
00:44:08.039 --> 00:44:11.137
for man is the lord of the air.

844
00:44:12.520 --> 00:44:15.363
Oh rise, oh man, in my strength,

845
00:44:16.290 --> 00:44:19.070
the kingdom is dying to inherit.

846
00:44:20.154 --> 00:44:23.820
So go hide God's witness at length

847
00:44:23.820 --> 00:44:26.527
that man is lord of his spirit.

848
00:44:28.409 --> 00:44:31.170
The strength of the wilting within.

849
00:44:31.170 --> 00:44:34.997
Stretches a blanket of skin.

850
00:44:34.997 --> 00:44:37.587
Low comes the great beast of sin.

851
00:44:38.840 --> 00:44:41.730
To watch we have sent down your skin.

852
00:44:46.447 --> 00:44:49.114
(ominous music)

853
00:44:52.290 --> 00:44:57.260
- Whoa, hey, is this like
that hot yoga shit or?

854
00:44:58.134 --> 00:44:59.902
- Hot yoga shit?

855
00:44:59.902 --> 00:45:00.902
I think not.

856
00:45:01.753 --> 00:45:05.480
You're in Archon mothership's
corpse incinerator.

857
00:45:05.480 --> 00:45:09.525
Also, my temple of prayer and ceremony.

858
00:45:09.525 --> 00:45:12.610
- Oh, my bad.

859
00:45:12.610 --> 00:45:14.640
Archon mothership, huh?

860
00:45:14.640 --> 00:45:16.257
Jackpot!

861
00:45:16.257 --> 00:45:18.157
How the hell did this happen?

862
00:45:18.157 --> 00:45:21.027
- What do you mean how did this happen?

863
00:45:21.027 --> 00:45:23.665
Are you not a member of the Archon army?

864
00:45:23.665 --> 00:45:26.409
- Me, an Archon?

865
00:45:26.409 --> 00:45:30.540
Yeah, right, one minute
I'm in a spaceship battle

866
00:45:30.540 --> 00:45:32.520
with some scrap metal clown

867
00:45:32.520 --> 00:45:35.766
and the next I'm jamming up your armchair.

868
00:45:35.766 --> 00:45:39.330
- This means you are in grave danger

869
00:45:39.330 --> 00:45:44.330
and saved your own life with
self-willed teleportation.

870
00:45:44.460 --> 00:45:47.200
Very rare indeed.

871
00:45:47.200 --> 00:45:51.188
You're strong with a
lamp of invisible light.

872
00:45:51.188 --> 00:45:54.950
- Hey, how can I hear you
when your mouth ain't moving?

873
00:45:54.950 --> 00:45:56.543
- The same way I can hear you

874
00:45:56.543 --> 00:45:58.790
when your mouth does not move.

875
00:45:58.790 --> 00:46:01.449
- Hm, ain't that some shit.

876
00:46:01.449 --> 00:46:02.949
- Yes, yes indeed.

877
00:46:04.607 --> 00:46:07.940
Thanks and praise to you, hay-was,

878
00:46:07.940 --> 00:46:12.164
for delivering the great beast at last.

879
00:46:12.164 --> 00:46:17.164
For now, the dawn of a-hon
of har-ess is truly upon us.

880
00:46:19.580 --> 00:46:20.497
- Uh, what?

881
00:46:21.920 --> 00:46:24.753
(engines roaring)

882
00:46:26.287 --> 00:46:27.120
(zapping)

883
00:46:27.120 --> 00:46:28.919
- Come in, VH.

884
00:46:28.919 --> 00:46:31.210
VH, are you there?

885
00:46:31.210 --> 00:46:32.701
- I'm here, Princess.

886
00:46:32.701 --> 00:46:34.180
The Archons seem to be retreating.

887
00:46:34.180 --> 00:46:36.070
- They've done this sort of thing before.

888
00:46:36.070 --> 00:46:37.579
They only aim to send a message.

889
00:46:37.579 --> 00:46:41.500
They can attack us at any time, any place.

890
00:46:41.500 --> 00:46:42.820
- Want us to chase 'em?

891
00:46:42.820 --> 00:46:44.850
Shoot a few more lasers up their asses?

892
00:46:44.850 --> 00:46:48.040
- I appreciate your spirit, VH, but no.

893
00:46:48.040 --> 00:46:49.460
Return to headquarters.

894
00:46:49.460 --> 00:46:52.020
I want to bop your brains out.

895
00:46:52.020 --> 00:46:53.710
- Excuse me.

896
00:46:53.710 --> 00:46:56.403
- Oh, did I say that out loud?

897
00:46:56.403 --> 00:46:58.847
I mean return to headquarters at once.

898
00:46:58.847 --> 00:47:01.340
I'll brief you when you get here.

899
00:47:01.340 --> 00:47:02.263
- Aye-aye, madam.

900
00:47:03.640 --> 00:47:06.140
(tense music)

901
00:47:12.031 --> 00:47:12.900
(door sliding)

902
00:47:12.900 --> 00:47:14.280
Foot, are you here?

903
00:47:15.227 --> 00:47:16.060
Bigfoot!

904
00:47:25.981 --> 00:47:28.600
This just isn't like you, big guy.

905
00:47:28.600 --> 00:47:30.133
Where the hell did you go?

906
00:47:35.965 --> 00:47:38.215
(whirring)

907
00:47:42.167 --> 00:47:44.640
- Oh Anubus, god of the dead,

908
00:47:44.640 --> 00:47:47.509
maker of stuff.

909
00:47:47.509 --> 00:47:48.926
- Maker of stuff?

910
00:47:50.525 --> 00:47:53.533
Is that the best of your
salutations, greeter?

911
00:47:54.820 --> 00:47:55.871
- My bad.

912
00:47:55.871 --> 00:47:58.510
Nice coffin you got there.

913
00:47:58.510 --> 00:48:01.150
- It is a sarcophagus.

914
00:48:01.150 --> 00:48:02.550
- A sarco-what?

915
00:48:02.550 --> 00:48:03.864
- No matter.

916
00:48:03.864 --> 00:48:08.864
Tell me, creature, why do you
disrupt my eternal slumber?

917
00:48:08.933 --> 00:48:11.853
- You know, it wasn't my idea.

918
00:48:11.853 --> 00:48:14.250
I was in the laser fight with this robot

919
00:48:14.250 --> 00:48:16.472
and I thought I was doing pretty well.

920
00:48:16.472 --> 00:48:19.470
I was holding my own for a Sasquatch

921
00:48:19.470 --> 00:48:21.940
that ain't ever fired
laser cannons before.

922
00:48:21.940 --> 00:48:23.910
I've played some video games, you know,

923
00:48:23.910 --> 00:48:25.730
but not the real thing.

924
00:48:25.730 --> 00:48:27.887
My reflexes are sharp though.

925
00:48:27.887 --> 00:48:29.437
- I'm certain they are.

926
00:48:29.437 --> 00:48:33.103
Being an unevolved beast
needs more muscle reflex

927
00:48:33.103 --> 00:48:35.870
to bring cortex.

928
00:48:35.870 --> 00:48:37.850
- Who you calling unevolved,

929
00:48:37.850 --> 00:48:40.785
laying up there in that painted doghouse?

930
00:48:40.785 --> 00:48:41.618
- Enough!

931
00:48:42.997 --> 00:48:47.300
If your aim is to deface
this sacred tomb, creature,

932
00:48:47.300 --> 00:48:49.900
I shall strike you down where you stand

933
00:48:49.900 --> 00:48:53.761
and be done with it
and the next encroacher

934
00:48:53.761 --> 00:48:57.113
will study your bones in 1000 years.

935
00:48:57.113 --> 00:48:59.770
- Look, I don't know what I'm doing here.

936
00:48:59.770 --> 00:49:01.670
Some Aleister dude sent me,

937
00:49:01.670 --> 00:49:04.030
told me to ask you to
grant the Archons victory

938
00:49:04.030 --> 00:49:06.020
in the war against the Allies

939
00:49:06.020 --> 00:49:10.510
but man, I'm with the
Allies so I can't do that.

940
00:49:10.510 --> 00:49:13.677
I just came here to get away
from that weirdo, really.

941
00:49:13.677 --> 00:49:16.177
- Aleister, I should've known.

942
00:49:18.758 --> 00:49:22.919
I resurrected Crawley
against my better judgment,

943
00:49:22.919 --> 00:49:27.117
extolling before him to
appease that annoying

944
00:49:27.117 --> 00:49:29.957
little war monger, Wrathcheld.

945
00:49:29.957 --> 00:49:31.457
When will I learn?

946
00:49:33.140 --> 00:49:37.209
- I mean, if you ain't learned
by now, probably never.

947
00:49:37.209 --> 00:49:41.410
- Watch your tongue,
creature, I may cut it out.

948
00:49:41.410 --> 00:49:44.350
- Gotcha, look, I don't
know if I'm breaking

949
00:49:44.350 --> 00:49:47.207
any sacred rules by
being here and what not

950
00:49:47.207 --> 00:49:50.060
but if we gotta rumble I feel ya.

951
00:49:50.060 --> 00:49:52.820
I've had the strong urge
to flip your box over

952
00:49:52.820 --> 00:49:55.233
since I got here, no offense.

953
00:49:57.030 --> 00:50:00.100
But I won't betray my friends.

954
00:50:00.100 --> 00:50:01.910
Well, one friend.

955
00:50:01.910 --> 00:50:04.000
The rest of 'em are sketchy as fuck

956
00:50:04.000 --> 00:50:06.230
and even my friend's not my friend.

957
00:50:06.230 --> 00:50:07.920
He's a fucking clone.

958
00:50:07.920 --> 00:50:11.502
- Such foul language
for a quasi-neanderthal

959
00:50:11.502 --> 00:50:13.552
who has mastered the skill of mind speak.

960
00:50:14.611 --> 00:50:16.927
- It's the hip hop music.

961
00:50:16.927 --> 00:50:18.250
- The what?

962
00:50:18.250 --> 00:50:19.540
- Nevermind.

963
00:50:19.540 --> 00:50:21.120
Anubus, do you think you could send me

964
00:50:21.120 --> 00:50:24.370
my so-called friends
the Allies to join me?

965
00:50:24.370 --> 00:50:27.170
I don't know how to get back to their ship

966
00:50:27.170 --> 00:50:29.469
and I don't wanna go back to the Archons.

967
00:50:29.469 --> 00:50:31.107
- I understand your trepidation, creature.

968
00:50:32.570 --> 00:50:37.500
However, my recent experiences
of resurrecting the dead

969
00:50:37.500 --> 00:50:40.220
and moving people like chess pieces

970
00:50:40.220 --> 00:50:42.543
has been uniformally negative.

971
00:50:43.900 --> 00:50:48.900
So, unfortunately, to use a
term from your vernacular,

972
00:50:49.402 --> 00:50:50.819
go fuck yourself.

973
00:50:55.081 --> 00:50:57.581
(tense music)

974
00:51:07.082 --> 00:51:08.440
- Alright, let's do it.

975
00:51:08.440 --> 00:51:09.773
How long is this gonna take, doc?

976
00:51:09.773 --> 00:51:12.120
- I'm not certain, VH.

977
00:51:12.120 --> 00:51:14.210
The procedure has yet to be tested.

978
00:51:14.210 --> 00:51:15.260
- What?

979
00:51:15.260 --> 00:51:17.048
I'm your guinea pig?

980
00:51:17.048 --> 00:51:20.680
- Don't be silly, you're not a guinea pig.

981
00:51:20.680 --> 00:51:23.160
You're more of a test dummy.

982
00:51:23.160 --> 00:51:25.730
- Thanks, that makes me feel better.

983
00:51:25.730 --> 00:51:28.750
- Once we implant the Teleport
Chip 5000 into your head

984
00:51:28.750 --> 00:51:31.340
and it fuses with your
brain's neurotransmitters

985
00:51:31.340 --> 00:51:34.490
your new capabilities
will reflect immediately.

986
00:51:34.490 --> 00:51:37.180
As we've discussed, the main
enhancements you'll notice

987
00:51:37.180 --> 00:51:40.590
will be the abilities to
receive and deliver mind speak

988
00:51:40.590 --> 00:51:43.410
and to deconstruct and
reconstruct your physical body

989
00:51:43.410 --> 00:51:47.780
for transportation along
any outer space wifi signal.

990
00:51:47.780 --> 00:51:48.853
- I don't know about this, doctor.

991
00:51:48.853 --> 00:51:53.160
VH is one of the best Allies
we have on our team right now.

992
00:51:53.160 --> 00:51:55.110
This all sounds risky.

993
00:51:55.110 --> 00:51:55.973
Is it safe?

994
00:51:56.840 --> 00:51:58.060
- It's as safe as any new

995
00:51:58.060 --> 00:52:01.210
pioneering medical
procedure can be, Princess.

996
00:52:01.210 --> 00:52:04.220
Listen, the first time
is always a bit scary.

997
00:52:04.220 --> 00:52:05.800
You should've heard my heart pounding

998
00:52:05.800 --> 00:52:09.630
when I gave myself the first
serum injection way back when.

999
00:52:09.630 --> 00:52:11.470
Those were the days.

1000
00:52:11.470 --> 00:52:14.690
- I wish I could've been there, doctor.

1001
00:52:14.690 --> 00:52:15.660
- No, you don't.

1002
00:52:15.660 --> 00:52:17.270
I'd have beaten you to death with whatever

1003
00:52:17.270 --> 00:52:18.700
I could get my hands on.

1004
00:52:18.700 --> 00:52:21.373
It took me a while to
fully master the dosage.

1005
00:52:22.920 --> 00:52:25.599
- Dr. Jeckyll, are there
any negative side effects

1006
00:52:25.599 --> 00:52:27.330
I might experience with the chip?

1007
00:52:27.330 --> 00:52:28.770
- None that I anticipate.

1008
00:52:28.770 --> 00:52:31.280
Oh, the one unintended side effect

1009
00:52:31.280 --> 00:52:33.690
may be enhanced sexual prowess.

1010
00:52:33.690 --> 00:52:35.140
- Sexual prowess?

1011
00:52:35.140 --> 00:52:37.210
- You'll fuck like a beast.

1012
00:52:37.210 --> 00:52:38.450
- But how?

1013
00:52:38.450 --> 00:52:41.700
- We're short on time,
doctor, let's do this.

1014
00:52:41.700 --> 00:52:42.610
- Very well.

1015
00:52:42.610 --> 00:52:44.670
VH, just lie back and breathe normally

1016
00:52:44.670 --> 00:52:46.292
as we prepare for insertion.

1017
00:52:46.292 --> 00:52:48.750
(buzzing)

1018
00:52:48.750 --> 00:52:52.110
- The hour of the final
victory looms, Aleister.

1019
00:52:52.110 --> 00:52:56.720
The Allied forces are in
disarray, splintered, fractured,

1020
00:52:56.720 --> 00:53:01.164
depleted and soon to be destroyed.

1021
00:53:01.164 --> 00:53:03.500
- Let it be first understood

1022
00:53:03.500 --> 00:53:07.720
that I am a god of war and vengeance.

1023
00:53:07.720 --> 00:53:11.110
I will bring you to victory and joy.

1024
00:53:11.110 --> 00:53:13.786
I will be at your arms in battle

1025
00:53:13.786 --> 00:53:17.420
and ye shall delight to slay.

1026
00:53:17.420 --> 00:53:20.240
Success is your proof,

1027
00:53:20.240 --> 00:53:22.500
courage is your armor.

1028
00:53:22.500 --> 00:53:26.436
Go on, go on, in my strength

1029
00:53:26.436 --> 00:53:30.770
and you shall turn not back for any.

1030
00:53:30.770 --> 00:53:33.380
- I like that, Crawley, what is it?

1031
00:53:33.380 --> 00:53:35.454
- It's from the book of law.

1032
00:53:35.454 --> 00:53:37.020
- The book of law?

1033
00:53:37.020 --> 00:53:39.860
Sounds good, where can I get a copy?

1034
00:53:39.860 --> 00:53:42.050
- Right in front of you.

1035
00:53:42.050 --> 00:53:43.660
I'll recite it from memory.

1036
00:53:43.660 --> 00:53:46.210
- Deal, but first let
us deliver to the Allies

1037
00:53:46.210 --> 00:53:47.133
their death blow.

1038
00:53:48.832 --> 00:53:49.665
(VH grunting)

1039
00:53:49.665 --> 00:53:52.248
(Kali moaning)

1040
00:54:09.580 --> 00:54:11.913
(whistling)

1041
00:54:14.544 --> 00:54:17.127
(door sliding)

1042
00:54:22.046 --> 00:54:24.178
- Whoa, what the hell is this?

1043
00:54:24.178 --> 00:54:26.380
- Wise terminology.

1044
00:54:26.380 --> 00:54:27.880
Hello, Van Helsing

1045
00:54:29.239 --> 00:54:31.739
or should I say clone Helsing?

1046
00:54:32.841 --> 00:54:33.758
Number 666?

1047
00:54:36.730 --> 00:54:38.706
(laughing)

1048
00:54:38.706 --> 00:54:41.358
What the, how do you know my name?

1049
00:54:41.358 --> 00:54:42.900
How do you know my serial number?

1050
00:54:42.900 --> 00:54:45.860
- I am the seer of all things.

1051
00:54:47.330 --> 00:54:52.330
I am the all knowing entity
from the nether-dimensions.

1052
00:54:52.480 --> 00:54:56.760
I am an upside down god of gods.

1053
00:54:56.760 --> 00:54:58.842
- Is this one of those CIA programs?

1054
00:54:58.842 --> 00:55:00.675
That shit's so 1960's.

1055
00:55:01.780 --> 00:55:03.947
- I am Ra, god of the sun,

1056
00:55:05.264 --> 00:55:09.400
creator of heaven above,
the planets in orbits

1057
00:55:09.400 --> 00:55:10.650
and hell below.

1058
00:55:11.776 --> 00:55:13.948
- That's quite a resume, what's up?

1059
00:55:13.948 --> 00:55:16.732
- I could ask the same of you.

1060
00:55:16.732 --> 00:55:19.630
You called me by my name.

1061
00:55:19.630 --> 00:55:20.880
Now, here I am.

1062
00:55:23.164 --> 00:55:24.190
- Called you by your name?

1063
00:55:24.190 --> 00:55:27.300
I'm just going to the
refrigerator for a sandwich.

1064
00:55:27.300 --> 00:55:28.730
Now if you'll excuse me,

1065
00:55:28.730 --> 00:55:31.656
oh, I know what happened.

1066
00:55:31.656 --> 00:55:34.644
(Kali moaning)

1067
00:55:34.644 --> 00:55:37.144
(VH grunting)

1068
00:55:41.690 --> 00:55:43.530
Yeah, sorry about that.

1069
00:55:43.530 --> 00:55:45.447
- Was she good?

1070
00:55:45.447 --> 00:55:46.570
- Good?

1071
00:55:46.570 --> 00:55:48.020
She was incredible.

1072
00:55:48.020 --> 00:55:50.010
I mean, technically she was my first,

1073
00:55:50.010 --> 00:55:53.340
but it was everything I imagined and more.

1074
00:55:53.340 --> 00:55:55.250
I think I made her happy too.

1075
00:55:55.250 --> 00:55:58.522
- I'm sure you did, clone Helsing.

1076
00:55:58.522 --> 00:56:00.200
You were powerful enough

1077
00:56:00.200 --> 00:56:05.200
to summon the sun god Ra,
and that is no small feat.

1078
00:56:07.149 --> 00:56:09.240
- I guess you're right.

1079
00:56:09.240 --> 00:56:10.749
Want a sandwich?

1080
00:56:10.749 --> 00:56:13.756
- I need your assistance, clone.

1081
00:56:13.756 --> 00:56:17.756
The more pertinent question
is what do you want?

1082
00:56:19.740 --> 00:56:24.740
- I just got it but since
you ask, we're at war, Ra.

1083
00:56:24.810 --> 00:56:27.710
I'd be remiss if I didn't
ask for the enemy's leader

1084
00:56:27.710 --> 00:56:30.443
right here beside us
as an Allied prisoner.

1085
00:56:31.450 --> 00:56:33.150
- The enemy's leader?

1086
00:56:33.150 --> 00:56:35.985
You have a mind for war, clone.

1087
00:56:35.985 --> 00:56:38.130
I respect that.

1088
00:56:38.130 --> 00:56:41.823
- Thanks, oh, and can I
see my buddy Bigfoot again?

1089
00:56:41.823 --> 00:56:45.020
We had a little spat
and he up and vanished.

1090
00:56:45.020 --> 00:56:46.920
I don't even know if he's still alive.

1091
00:56:47.802 --> 00:56:49.793
- Anything else?

1092
00:56:49.793 --> 00:56:51.200
- [VH] You serious?

1093
00:56:51.200 --> 00:56:53.145
How many wishes do I get?

1094
00:56:53.145 --> 00:56:55.291
- How many do you need?

1095
00:56:55.291 --> 00:57:00.291
What is the most important
question you have for me?

1096
00:57:00.457 --> 00:57:01.707
- How do we end this war?

1097
00:57:06.381 --> 00:57:08.881
(tense music)

1098
00:57:11.826 --> 00:57:13.373
- What in the hell?

1099
00:57:13.373 --> 00:57:15.030
- Welcome aboard, Wrathcheld?

1100
00:57:15.030 --> 00:57:16.670
- Where am I?

1101
00:57:16.670 --> 00:57:17.900
Who are you?

1102
00:57:17.900 --> 00:57:20.340
- You're at Allied mobile headquarters.

1103
00:57:20.340 --> 00:57:24.597
You belong to us now and
I'm Van Helsing number 666.

1104
00:57:26.930 --> 00:57:29.000
But you can call me VH.

1105
00:57:29.000 --> 00:57:32.130
- I'll call you stardust
after the Archon army

1106
00:57:32.130 --> 00:57:34.100
is through with you, Ally.

1107
00:57:34.100 --> 00:57:36.630
We've been wiping you humans out quickly

1108
00:57:36.630 --> 00:57:39.610
but for you I'll make an exception.

1109
00:57:39.610 --> 00:57:42.010
You'll die slow.

1110
00:57:42.010 --> 00:57:43.740
- Thanks but no thanks.

1111
00:57:43.740 --> 00:57:47.330
See, without you, I'm
betting those Archons

1112
00:57:47.330 --> 00:57:50.273
won't know their head from
a black hole in the cosmos

1113
00:57:50.273 --> 00:57:54.890
and an army can't win a war if
no one's leading the charge.

1114
00:57:54.890 --> 00:57:59.150
- Why you, I'll murder
you with my bear hands

1115
00:57:59.150 --> 00:58:01.370
right where you stand.

1116
00:58:01.370 --> 00:58:02.203
- No you won't!

1117
00:58:02.203 --> 00:58:03.949
- Foot, you're back!

1118
00:58:03.949 --> 00:58:07.350
- Hey VH, man, am I glad to see you.

1119
00:58:07.350 --> 00:58:11.040
I'm so turned around I don't
know what the hell is going on.

1120
00:58:11.040 --> 00:58:13.330
First I was in a fighter ship.

1121
00:58:13.330 --> 00:58:17.150
Then I was in like a
yoga studio from hell.

1122
00:58:17.150 --> 00:58:18.790
Then I was in a sarcophagus,

1123
00:58:18.790 --> 00:58:20.831
whatever the fuck Anubus called it.

1124
00:58:20.831 --> 00:58:25.831
- Sarcophagus, the word is
sarcophagus, you dumb animal.

1125
00:58:26.540 --> 00:58:28.529
What was a filthy beast like you

1126
00:58:28.529 --> 00:58:33.100
doing in a sacred tomb of
Anubus, the god of the dead?

1127
00:58:33.100 --> 00:58:35.730
- Crawley wanted me to do
a favor for you Archons.

1128
00:58:35.730 --> 00:58:37.880
He was too scared to do it himself,

1129
00:58:37.880 --> 00:58:40.073
well with his history
of blasphemy and all.

1130
00:58:41.557 --> 00:58:45.480
- Anubus, the exalted one,
has joined the Archons.

1131
00:58:45.480 --> 00:58:46.910
- Are you kidding?

1132
00:58:46.910 --> 00:58:48.360
He hates your guts.

1133
00:58:48.360 --> 00:58:50.310
- He hates everybody, (mumbling) prick.

1134
00:58:53.752 --> 00:58:55.477
Always has been.

1135
00:58:55.477 --> 00:58:59.030
- I can't believe this,
I'm hearing god gossip.

1136
00:58:59.030 --> 00:59:02.160
- We must amuse ourselves somehow.

1137
00:59:02.160 --> 00:59:04.030
These millenniums just drag.

1138
00:59:05.040 --> 00:59:07.660
- Gloat while you can, Allies,

1139
00:59:07.660 --> 00:59:10.880
I have a secret weapon
you don't know about.

1140
00:59:10.880 --> 00:59:14.510
- If you mean that Exterminator
dude, he ain't so scary.

1141
00:59:14.510 --> 00:59:16.230
I almost took him out myself

1142
00:59:16.230 --> 00:59:18.037
and I never fired a laser before.

1143
00:59:18.037 --> 00:59:19.833
- The Exterminator is with the Archons,

1144
00:59:19.833 --> 00:59:21.650
we have to tell Kali right away.

1145
00:59:21.650 --> 00:59:26.100
- Be sure she's decent
before you barge in on her.

1146
00:59:26.100 --> 00:59:29.350
- Whoa, decent, you finally hit that, VH?

1147
00:59:29.350 --> 00:59:31.685
- Keep it between us, okay?

1148
00:59:31.685 --> 00:59:33.152
We both needed it.

1149
00:59:33.152 --> 00:59:35.423
- Hoo-eey, my lips are sealed.

1150
00:59:36.494 --> 00:59:41.494
- Clone Helsing, in regard
to your final question,

1151
00:59:41.560 --> 00:59:45.770
the answer you seek reside
on your own home planet

1152
00:59:47.166 --> 00:59:49.610
in the place known as Area 51.

1153
00:59:53.096 --> 00:59:55.763
(ominous music)

1154
01:00:00.088 --> 01:00:02.255
(zapping)

1155
01:00:03.742 --> 01:00:05.830
- [VH] Princess, meet me
in the command center.

1156
01:00:05.830 --> 01:00:08.310
I have something you'll
be very interested to see.

1157
01:00:08.310 --> 01:00:10.204
- [Kali] Haven't I already seen it, VH?

1158
01:00:10.204 --> 01:00:13.463
And touched it, tasted it,

1159
01:00:14.470 --> 01:00:16.700
guided it deep inside me--

1160
01:00:16.700 --> 01:00:17.790
- [VH] Not that!

1161
01:00:17.790 --> 01:00:18.900
- No?

1162
01:00:18.900 --> 01:00:20.973
Sad, I'll be on deck shortly.

1163
01:00:30.050 --> 01:00:31.700
- Move it out, Wrathcheld,

1164
01:00:31.700 --> 01:00:33.650
you're gonna get to meet our leader.

1165
01:00:33.650 --> 01:00:36.749
- Your leader, the Princess eh,

1166
01:00:36.749 --> 01:00:41.000
I would separate her pretty
head from her soft shoulders

1167
01:00:41.000 --> 01:00:44.510
with a flick of my wrist
if I get close enough.

1168
01:00:44.510 --> 01:00:46.250
- Watch your mouth, melonhead.

1169
01:00:46.250 --> 01:00:49.620
- Make one move and you're
dead on the spot, understand?

1170
01:00:49.620 --> 01:00:52.250
- You bumbling rubes don't know half

1171
01:00:52.250 --> 01:00:54.740
of what the Archons are capable of.

1172
01:00:54.740 --> 01:00:58.823
But you'll find out, oh, you'll find out.

1173
01:01:05.569 --> 01:01:08.960
- Comrades, it is
necessary to eliminate talk

1174
01:01:08.960 --> 01:01:12.200
that we have the endless
option to retreat,

1175
01:01:12.200 --> 01:01:14.930
that we have a lot of territory,

1176
01:01:14.930 --> 01:01:18.380
that outer space is great and rich,

1177
01:01:18.380 --> 01:01:21.080
that we have a large population

1178
01:01:21.080 --> 01:01:24.220
and that bread always will be abundant.

1179
01:01:24.220 --> 01:01:27.500
Such talk is false and parasitic.

1180
01:01:27.500 --> 01:01:30.220
It weakens us and it benefits the enemy.

1181
01:01:30.220 --> 01:01:32.960
If we retreat even a step,

1182
01:01:32.960 --> 01:01:36.410
we will will be without
bread, without fuel,

1183
01:01:36.410 --> 01:01:39.940
without metal, without raw materials

1184
01:01:39.940 --> 01:01:42.750
and without armed vessels.

1185
01:01:42.750 --> 01:01:44.820
This leads to the conclusion.

1186
01:01:44.820 --> 01:01:49.328
It is now time to end this conflict

1187
01:01:49.328 --> 01:01:52.010
and the only way this conflict will end

1188
01:01:52.010 --> 01:01:54.910
is with our forward assault.

1189
01:01:54.910 --> 01:01:58.663
Not one step back, onward,
onwards to victory.

1190
01:02:00.710 --> 01:02:04.300
- If we can navigate into
the slipstream space here

1191
01:02:04.300 --> 01:02:07.210
we'll be able to use the
dimensional sub-de-mean

1192
01:02:07.210 --> 01:02:11.070
of the alternate space time
for faster than light travel.

1193
01:02:11.070 --> 01:02:16.070
Or VH, you can tap into any
residual or dormant wifi signals

1194
01:02:16.790 --> 01:02:20.300
coming from the area and
teleport to the site instantly.

1195
01:02:20.300 --> 01:02:21.970
- You really think we
can trust the implant

1196
01:02:21.970 --> 01:02:22.803
Jeckyll put in my head?

1197
01:02:22.803 --> 01:02:24.320
- Whoa, hold up.

1198
01:02:24.320 --> 01:02:28.240
You let that doctor creep
stick something in your head?

1199
01:02:28.240 --> 01:02:30.680
- It seemed like a good idea at the time.

1200
01:02:30.680 --> 01:02:34.570
- Come close, Ally, and I'll
remove that head for you.

1201
01:02:34.570 --> 01:02:37.466
- Shut up or I'll smash you like a bug.

1202
01:02:37.466 --> 01:02:42.030
- I don't know for sure Dr.
Jeckyll's chip will work, VH,

1203
01:02:42.030 --> 01:02:45.300
but he was right about the prowess part.

1204
01:02:45.300 --> 01:02:46.890
- Wait till next time.

1205
01:02:46.890 --> 01:02:48.777
I want you so fucking bad, Kali,

1206
01:02:48.777 --> 01:02:51.010
I'm gonna take you right here on this desk

1207
01:02:51.010 --> 01:02:52.150
if we don't get out of here.

1208
01:02:52.150 --> 01:02:52.983
- Woo!

1209
01:02:55.249 --> 01:02:58.249
(suspenseful music)

1210
01:03:01.190 --> 01:03:05.400
- General-ee-see-mo Stalin,
Wrathcheld is missing.

1211
01:03:05.400 --> 01:03:08.496
- What do you mean he's missing, Crawley?

1212
01:03:08.496 --> 01:03:10.730
Archons don't just go missing

1213
01:03:10.730 --> 01:03:14.410
and certainly not Archons
the caliber of Wrathcheld.

1214
01:03:14.410 --> 01:03:17.360
- But he's not here and I'm telling you.

1215
01:03:17.360 --> 01:03:18.560
What would you rather I do,

1216
01:03:18.560 --> 01:03:20.690
look under a desk or something?

1217
01:03:20.690 --> 01:03:22.800
- Mind your tongue, sorceror.

1218
01:03:22.800 --> 01:03:25.590
And if I discover your black
magic had a hand in this,

1219
01:03:25.590 --> 01:03:28.152
it is the gallows for you!

1220
01:03:28.152 --> 01:03:30.290
- Wouldn't be the first time, Joseph,

1221
01:03:30.290 --> 01:03:32.676
wouldn't be the first time.

1222
01:03:32.676 --> 01:03:35.970
- This is it comrades, zero hour.

1223
01:03:35.970 --> 01:03:39.290
Shoot down anyone and anything on site.

1224
01:03:39.290 --> 01:03:41.793
Shoot to kill, take no prisoners.

1225
01:03:42.698 --> 01:03:44.895
The time for mercy is through.

1226
01:03:44.895 --> 01:03:48.570
The time for parades and chalices is nigh.

1227
01:03:48.570 --> 01:03:51.170
And from these golden chalices

1228
01:03:51.170 --> 01:03:54.167
shall pour the blood of our enemies!

1229
01:03:56.686 --> 01:03:58.936
(laughing)

1230
01:04:01.079 --> 01:04:03.412
(exploding)

1231
01:04:06.708 --> 01:04:08.020
- [Kali] You know, the Earth looks

1232
01:04:08.020 --> 01:04:09.900
a lot like we left it out there.

1233
01:04:09.900 --> 01:04:12.190
I kind of miss home.

1234
01:04:12.190 --> 01:04:15.119
- Forget it, Princess, the air is poison.

1235
01:04:15.119 --> 01:04:17.812
Nothing can live, nothing can grow.

1236
01:04:17.812 --> 01:04:21.600
- You four has walked right into my trap.

1237
01:04:21.600 --> 01:04:24.387
I told you the Archon mind is superior.

1238
01:04:24.387 --> 01:04:27.560
- I thought I told you
to zip it, pipsqueak.

1239
01:04:27.560 --> 01:04:28.393
Now I'm gonna have to--

1240
01:04:28.393 --> 01:04:30.620
- Have to what, die?

1241
01:04:30.620 --> 01:04:32.690
For that is your only option.

1242
01:04:32.690 --> 01:04:34.510
You're all coming with me.

1243
01:04:34.510 --> 01:04:37.380
- Yeah, who's gonna make us?

1244
01:04:37.380 --> 01:04:41.110
- I am, of course,
Wrathcheld of the Archons.

1245
01:04:41.110 --> 01:04:44.110
Soon to be Wrathcheld the Great.

1246
01:04:44.110 --> 01:04:45.920
- You are delusional.

1247
01:04:45.920 --> 01:04:46.753
- And you're an idiot.

1248
01:04:46.753 --> 01:04:50.208
Do you actually believe the
sun god Ra would help you?

1249
01:04:50.208 --> 01:04:52.470
You've been double crossed.

1250
01:04:52.470 --> 01:04:55.884
I've got the power of
the nucleus of Allies,

1251
01:04:55.884 --> 01:04:57.920
you three, in my clutches.

1252
01:04:57.920 --> 01:05:01.973
And now humanity will
pay the ultimate price.

1253
01:05:04.790 --> 01:05:06.610
Welcome aboard Allies,

1254
01:05:06.610 --> 01:05:09.840
feel free to feast your
beady eyes on my vessel,

1255
01:05:09.840 --> 01:05:12.880
this is what real space
headquarters look like.

1256
01:05:12.880 --> 01:05:15.370
- You'll never get away
with this, Wrathcheld.

1257
01:05:15.370 --> 01:05:16.310
You're mad!

1258
01:05:16.310 --> 01:05:18.070
- Quite the contrary.

1259
01:05:18.070 --> 01:05:21.820
Two Allies crazy, one Archon sane.

1260
01:05:21.820 --> 01:05:24.203
Wait, where did the mascot go?

1261
01:05:26.320 --> 01:05:28.820
(tense music)

1262
01:05:38.917 --> 01:05:40.660
- Heru, we're in trouble.

1263
01:05:40.660 --> 01:05:42.760
- What's going on, Bigfoot?

1264
01:05:42.760 --> 01:05:44.420
Where are you?

1265
01:05:44.420 --> 01:05:48.100
- The Archons got Princess
Kali and VH but I escaped.

1266
01:05:48.100 --> 01:05:49.707
I stole an Atlantian fighter

1267
01:05:49.707 --> 01:05:52.050
and I'm circling around the mothership.

1268
01:05:52.050 --> 01:05:56.060
- Heavens, I'll take
command of the Allied fleet

1269
01:05:56.060 --> 01:05:57.704
and join you, Bigfoot.

1270
01:05:57.704 --> 01:06:00.964
- Hurry, I don't know what
they're gonna do to 'em.

1271
01:06:00.964 --> 01:06:02.673
- [Heru] We're on our way.

1272
01:06:04.232 --> 01:06:06.982
(engine roaring)

1273
01:06:13.618 --> 01:06:15.831
- The Allies are dead ahead, comrades.

1274
01:06:15.831 --> 01:06:20.341
You know what to do!

1275
01:06:20.341 --> 01:06:21.674
Do as thou wilt.

1276
01:06:24.494 --> 01:06:26.661
(zapping)

1277
01:06:38.351 --> 01:06:42.210
- Ah, such quaint little rubber pipes.

1278
01:06:42.210 --> 01:06:45.793
Your mouths will look good
on a string around my neck.

1279
01:06:45.793 --> 01:06:48.050
- And you're gonna make
great space debris.

1280
01:06:48.050 --> 01:06:50.830
You want some of this, Exterminator?

1281
01:06:50.830 --> 01:06:51.770
Come and get it.

1282
01:06:51.770 --> 01:06:53.373
- Don't mind if I do.

1283
01:07:04.000 --> 01:07:05.070
- Commander Wrathcheld,

1284
01:07:05.070 --> 01:07:06.812
our communications have been knocked out.

1285
01:07:06.812 --> 01:07:08.867
We've lost contact with the fleet.

1286
01:07:08.867 --> 01:07:12.210
- Well don't just stand there, text them.

1287
01:07:12.210 --> 01:07:14.530
- [Robot] Our wifi is down, sir.

1288
01:07:14.530 --> 01:07:17.260
We have no way of
contacting anyone anywhere.

1289
01:07:17.260 --> 01:07:19.533
- Damn those Allies.

1290
01:07:20.373 --> 01:07:22.516
- This is it, the Archon's secret weapon,

1291
01:07:22.516 --> 01:07:25.650
the 60 megaton kinetic space bomb.

1292
01:07:25.650 --> 01:07:29.550
This plan might just be
crazy enough to work.

1293
01:07:29.550 --> 01:07:33.133
At this point, it's
our last and only hope.

1294
01:07:36.895 --> 01:07:39.062
(zapping)

1295
01:07:43.781 --> 01:07:46.114
(exploding)

1296
01:08:00.063 --> 01:08:03.060
- Princess Kali, I've got
the mothership's fuel tanks

1297
01:08:03.060 --> 01:08:06.853
in my cross hairs, I'm taking the shot.

1298
01:08:06.853 --> 01:08:08.340
- No, Xio, no.

1299
01:08:08.340 --> 01:08:09.891
The princess is aboard.

1300
01:08:09.891 --> 01:08:12.224
(exploding)

1301
01:08:14.866 --> 01:08:15.699
- Oh no.

1302
01:08:18.781 --> 01:08:20.114
- VH, my friend.

1303
01:08:26.128 --> 01:08:27.110
- No, our mothership is no more!

1304
01:08:29.766 --> 01:08:33.797
Our resources, our
technology, our battle plans!

1305
01:08:33.797 --> 01:08:36.047
Retreat, comrades, retreat!

1306
01:08:37.560 --> 01:08:40.847
- God fucking damn it,
I came back for this?

1307
01:08:40.847 --> 01:08:43.680
Why do the fucking boars always win?

1308
01:08:43.680 --> 01:08:45.590
May their mothers' decapitated heads

1309
01:08:45.590 --> 01:08:50.527
suck dripping manotaur cocks
in hell for all eternity.

1310
01:08:50.527 --> 01:08:53.140
- [VH] Are you sure we're safe riding

1311
01:08:53.140 --> 01:08:55.310
in a 60 megaton kinetic space bomb

1312
01:08:55.310 --> 01:08:56.430
that's spinning out of control

1313
01:08:56.430 --> 01:08:58.650
to our Ally headquarters, Princess?

1314
01:08:58.650 --> 01:09:01.067
- [Kali] As safe as we can be, I suppose.

1315
01:09:01.067 --> 01:09:02.879
Are you nervous?

1316
01:09:02.879 --> 01:09:04.060
- [VH] A little.

1317
01:09:04.060 --> 01:09:06.245
- [Kali] Me too.

1318
01:09:06.245 --> 01:09:08.230
What if it's feudal?

1319
01:09:08.230 --> 01:09:09.973
She's still so beautiful.

1320
01:09:11.020 --> 01:09:11.940
- [VH] She?

1321
01:09:11.940 --> 01:09:13.720
- [Kali] Planet Earth.

1322
01:09:13.720 --> 01:09:15.047
- [VH] You grew up there, huh?

1323
01:09:15.047 --> 01:09:16.021
- [Kali] Yes.

1324
01:09:16.021 --> 01:09:18.680
And this is probably the
last time I'll ever see her.

1325
01:09:18.680 --> 01:09:19.863
- [VH] Never say never.

1326
01:09:21.625 --> 01:09:25.600
- [Kali] VH, what if this
is our last ride too?

1327
01:09:25.600 --> 01:09:27.903
These may be our last moments alive.

1328
01:09:29.410 --> 01:09:31.660
- Princess Kali, you're alive!

1329
01:09:31.660 --> 01:09:33.470
- Yes Bort, I made it off

1330
01:09:33.470 --> 01:09:35.700
the Archon mothership just in time.

1331
01:09:35.700 --> 01:09:38.450
Along with our colleague, Mr. Van Helsing.

1332
01:09:38.450 --> 01:09:39.765
- Thank heavens.

1333
01:09:39.765 --> 01:09:43.850
If we had the time to install
our updated AI emotion cards

1334
01:09:43.850 --> 01:09:47.709
like we were supposed to
we'd be so happy to see you.

1335
01:09:47.709 --> 01:09:52.260
- Well, I'll feel happy
for us all, how about that?

1336
01:09:52.260 --> 01:09:54.544
- Deal, where are you now, Ma?

1337
01:09:54.544 --> 01:09:56.574
- [Kali] That's what
I'm calling about, Bort.

1338
01:09:56.574 --> 01:09:59.400
I'm on VH's video risk communicator

1339
01:09:59.400 --> 01:10:02.060
inside an Archon bomb that's
currently approaching you

1340
01:10:02.060 --> 01:10:03.870
at a high rate of speed.

1341
01:10:03.870 --> 01:10:06.832
- Oh dear, I see you on our radar.

1342
01:10:06.832 --> 01:10:10.490
You've just breached our
autonomous navigation radius.

1343
01:10:10.490 --> 01:10:11.323
- We're going to collide

1344
01:10:11.323 --> 01:10:13.570
in T-minus 17 seconds unless we can--

1345
01:10:13.570 --> 01:10:15.201
- Hook us and reel us in, carefully.

1346
01:10:15.201 --> 01:10:17.766
- [Bort] Yes, man, hold tight.

1347
01:10:17.766 --> 01:10:20.293
- [Kali] Don't worry, Bort, we are.

1348
01:10:23.710 --> 01:10:27.960
- Attention, you are now
entering the debarkation area.

1349
01:10:27.960 --> 01:10:32.444
No talking, no smoking,
follow the red line.

1350
01:10:32.444 --> 01:10:34.640
You have the option to terminate

1351
01:10:34.640 --> 01:10:37.110
and be cremated on the premises.

1352
01:10:37.110 --> 01:10:39.200
If you elect his option,

1353
01:10:39.200 --> 01:10:42.160
notify the officer in
your processing area.

1354
01:10:42.160 --> 01:10:44.810
- I'm so glad you two made it, VH.

1355
01:10:44.810 --> 01:10:47.820
I thought for sure you were space toast.

1356
01:10:47.820 --> 01:10:51.430
I mean, you ain't the Jack
Van Helsing I remember

1357
01:10:51.430 --> 01:10:54.230
and I ain't sure that I
trust the princess yet

1358
01:10:54.230 --> 01:10:57.546
but I'm really jazzed to see
you two are safe and sound.

1359
01:10:57.546 --> 01:11:00.510
- Thanks Foot, the feeling's mutual.

1360
01:11:00.510 --> 01:11:03.800
- Yeah buddy, and good catch
apprehending the Exterminator.

1361
01:11:03.800 --> 01:11:05.920
Your lone actions have saved untold lives

1362
01:11:05.920 --> 01:11:08.140
across countless galaxies.

1363
01:11:08.140 --> 01:11:11.180
- That's right, and on behalf
of our entire Allied fleet

1364
01:11:11.180 --> 01:11:13.018
if you'd like to officially join us,

1365
01:11:13.018 --> 01:11:16.510
there's a fighter ship reserved for you.

1366
01:11:16.510 --> 01:11:17.680
Just say the word.

1367
01:11:17.680 --> 01:11:19.778
- Whoa, get out of here.

1368
01:11:19.778 --> 01:11:23.110
Me, a ranked Sasquatch?

1369
01:11:23.110 --> 01:11:26.030
Oh, if Pa could see me now!

1370
01:11:26.030 --> 01:11:28.069
- Is that a yes, big guy?

1371
01:11:28.069 --> 01:11:30.430
- Can I sleep on it?

1372
01:11:30.430 --> 01:11:32.260
I was thinking of disappearing back

1373
01:11:32.260 --> 01:11:35.120
into the woodwork of some
remote planet someplace.

1374
01:11:35.120 --> 01:11:36.262
- Really?

1375
01:11:36.262 --> 01:11:38.394
- Yeah, it's kind of my thing.

1376
01:11:38.394 --> 01:11:41.270
- Understood, take all the time you need.

1377
01:11:41.270 --> 01:11:43.410
Let us know when you decide.

1378
01:11:43.410 --> 01:11:45.577
(buzzing)

1379
01:11:47.726 --> 01:11:48.660
(upbeat music)

1380
01:11:48.660 --> 01:11:52.203
- Good to see you back
where you belong, X15642.

1381
01:11:53.180 --> 01:11:55.110
I trust you find your new shatterproof

1382
01:11:56.008 --> 01:11:57.620
and blast resistant cell comfortable?

1383
01:11:57.620 --> 01:11:59.350
- You can put me in a cell

1384
01:11:59.350 --> 01:12:02.880
within a cell within a cell, Allies.

1385
01:12:02.880 --> 01:12:05.670
Sooner or later I'll break free

1386
01:12:05.670 --> 01:12:08.690
and when I do you'll all pay.

1387
01:12:08.690 --> 01:12:10.170
- Not this time, X.

1388
01:12:10.170 --> 01:12:12.596
You're on a list for court
ordered implosion and recycling.

1389
01:12:12.596 --> 01:12:15.560
All we're waiting on is for the judge

1390
01:12:15.560 --> 01:12:17.690
to sign the execution order.

1391
01:12:17.690 --> 01:12:20.800
- Then I'll see to it
that Archon black ops

1392
01:12:20.800 --> 01:12:23.180
visits the judge in his quarters

1393
01:12:23.180 --> 01:12:25.687
and draws and corners him.

1394
01:12:25.687 --> 01:12:27.840
- That's so nice of you, X,

1395
01:12:27.840 --> 01:12:30.840
but it's her honor's quarters

1396
01:12:30.840 --> 01:12:33.530
and she's in an undisclosed location.

1397
01:12:33.530 --> 01:12:36.230
- We'll see if there's nothing else.

1398
01:12:36.230 --> 01:12:39.530
I was just in the middle
of a self upgrade.

1399
01:12:39.530 --> 01:12:41.230
- Self upgrade, mm-hmm,

1400
01:12:42.910 --> 01:12:45.318
be sure to wipe down the
glass when you're finished.

1401
01:12:45.318 --> 01:12:48.223
So long, X15642.

1402
01:12:52.880 --> 01:12:56.134
- Drop dead, Princess.

1403
01:12:56.134 --> 01:12:58.551
(epic music)

1404
01:13:04.410 --> 01:13:05.780
- [Kali] Good workout.

1405
01:13:05.780 --> 01:13:07.650
- [VH] Helps with tension.

1406
01:13:07.650 --> 01:13:10.720
- [Kali] I can think of other
things to help with that.

1407
01:13:10.720 --> 01:13:12.930
- Yeah, such as?

1408
01:13:12.930 --> 01:13:16.630
- Why don't you kick back and
spread 'em and I'll show you.

1409
01:13:16.630 --> 01:13:19.460
- There you go, threatening
with a good time again.

1410
01:13:19.460 --> 01:13:20.970
- What can I say?

1411
01:13:20.970 --> 01:13:23.650
We have to enjoy our
down time when we get it.

1412
01:13:23.650 --> 01:13:25.390
- You're gonna get it alright.

1413
01:13:25.390 --> 01:13:27.529
Come here, Princess.

1414
01:13:27.529 --> 01:13:29.696
(beeping)

1415
01:13:30.558 --> 01:13:33.058
(metal music)

1416
01:13:37.590 --> 01:13:39.293
- Allies never rest.

1417
01:13:41.970 --> 01:13:46.290
- If this keeps up I'm gonna
need another clone of myself.

1418
01:13:46.290 --> 01:13:48.870
Until then, let's rock.





