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Downloaded from
YTS.MX
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Official YIFY movies site:
YTS.MX
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Fuck, I shouldn't have brought you
to the studio.
4
00:00:14,792 --> 00:00:17,167
I shouldn't have brought YOU
to the studio.
5
00:00:18,917 --> 00:00:22,958
Hi. My name is Marc-Uwe,
this film's narrator.
6
00:00:23,833 --> 00:00:25,500
And the kangaroo is here, foo.
7
00:00:25,667 --> 00:00:27,542
You mean you're here, foo.
8
00:00:28,042 --> 00:00:31,750
-I'd like to tell you my story.
-Your story? Are you kidding?
9
00:00:31,917 --> 00:00:35,500
-Are you going to butt in all the time?
-You're butting in.
10
00:00:35,667 --> 00:00:39,792
-Okay, may I tell "our” story now, please?
-Go ahead.
11
00:00:40,792 --> 00:00:42,208
Please, start.
12
00:00:42,917 --> 00:00:44,625
I'm not holding you back.
13
00:00:45,250 --> 00:00:47,208
-Start.
-All right. Cue the film.
14
00:00:47,458 --> 00:00:49,333
Help! Help!
15
00:00:49,500 --> 00:00:51,000
No, no, stop.
16
00:00:51,167 --> 00:00:52,958
Start way before that. Rewind.
17
00:00:53,208 --> 00:00:54,417
You drive me crazy.
18
00:00:54,667 --> 00:00:57,125
Hello. Marc-Uwe...
19
00:00:57,292 --> 00:00:59,833
No, no. Way before that.
20
00:01:00,000 --> 00:01:02,750
Know what?
Best if you start right at the beginning.
21
00:01:02,917 --> 00:01:05,417
Fine. I'll start right at the beginning.
22
00:01:06,417 --> 00:01:08,375
WHAT HAPPENED SO FAR
23
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NOTHING
24
00:01:14,500 --> 00:01:16,583
There once was a spot
25
00:01:16,750 --> 00:01:20,750
where material and energy density
were infinite.
26
00:01:22,875 --> 00:01:24,375
A singularity
27
00:01:24,542 --> 00:01:27,792
where the general theory of relativity
did not apply.
28
00:01:27,958 --> 00:01:30,083
And then, the following happened.
29
00:01:30,875 --> 00:01:32,583
The goddamn big bang? Seriously?
30
00:01:32,750 --> 00:01:36,708
-You said right from the beginning.
-You're such a nitpicker.
31
00:01:37,542 --> 00:01:39,333
Wait, I have a good start now.
32
00:01:39,500 --> 00:01:40,750
13.8 BILLION YEARS LATER
33
00:01:40,917 --> 00:01:44,333
Once upon a time, not long ago
34
00:01:45,042 --> 00:01:47,500
in a galaxy very, very close by...
35
00:01:48,917 --> 00:01:53,292
Sorry to interrupt, but you promised
Nirvana would play at the beginning.
36
00:01:53,458 --> 00:01:56,167
-That is not Nirvana.
-Any idea how much it costs?
37
00:01:56,417 --> 00:01:58,875
We spent all our budget on Hasselhoff.
38
00:01:59,042 --> 00:02:01,542
I should never have agreed
to be in a German comedy!
39
00:02:01,708 --> 00:02:04,625
I had an offer from Marvel.
This never would've happened.
40
00:02:04,792 --> 00:02:06,208
Stop whining.
41
00:02:06,458 --> 00:02:08,667
Help me find a good start for the film.
42
00:02:09,292 --> 00:02:11,583
I think we've screwed it up already.
43
00:02:12,958 --> 00:02:16,250
That is me, by the way.
A young man with a migraine background.
44
00:02:16,417 --> 00:02:17,917
That's not you!
45
00:02:18,083 --> 00:02:21,250
No, of course not.
That's the actor who plays me.
46
00:02:21,417 --> 00:02:23,958
I'd have liked to play myself,
but I'm too...
47
00:02:24,125 --> 00:02:26,542
-Too old and ugly?
-I'm not an actor.
48
00:02:26,708 --> 00:02:28,417
Now shut up. This is my movie.
49
00:02:28,583 --> 00:02:31,125
-Did you see the poster?
-Who wrote the book?
50
00:02:31,292 --> 00:02:33,625
It's not called
"The Marc-Uwe Chronicles”.
51
00:02:33,792 --> 00:02:35,292
This is my movie, and...
52
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AUDIO COMMENTARY OFF
53
00:02:37,958 --> 00:02:43,875
Think of your migraine
as an annoying aunt,
54
00:02:45,583 --> 00:02:48,708
who comes to visit every once in a while.
55
00:02:48,875 --> 00:02:53,958
The best thing is
to take a walk with Auntie Migraine.
56
00:03:08,958 --> 00:03:13,000
Hi! I just rented the place
across the hall a few days ago.
57
00:03:13,167 --> 00:03:16,250
Well, maybe "rented"
isn't the right way to put it!
58
00:03:17,208 --> 00:03:21,083
I wanted to make some pancakes
and realized I forgot to buy eggs.
59
00:03:21,333 --> 00:03:22,333
I see.
60
00:03:24,708 --> 00:03:26,042
Oh... Right.
61
00:03:28,125 --> 00:03:30,083
Your doorbell sounds terrible.
62
00:03:31,250 --> 00:03:33,292
Four eggs will do.
63
00:03:34,542 --> 00:03:37,000
-Thank you very much.
-No problem.
64
00:03:50,500 --> 00:03:52,417
Wow, that was quick.
65
00:03:52,667 --> 00:03:55,667
I just realized
I don't have any salt either.
66
00:03:56,292 --> 00:03:58,083
For the pancakes, you know?
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00:03:58,333 --> 00:04:01,833
And if you'd have some milk, too...
Otherwise, they get too dry.
68
00:04:02,000 --> 00:04:02,833
MOVIE MILK
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00:04:03,000 --> 00:04:05,917
And half a bag of flour.
It not supposed to be an omelet!
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00:04:06,083 --> 00:04:06,917
HALF A BAG OF FLOUR
71
00:04:07,083 --> 00:04:09,708
That is so kind of you. Thanks.
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00:04:12,958 --> 00:04:14,042
Yeah.
73
00:04:15,500 --> 00:04:16,708
Thank you so much.
74
00:04:26,667 --> 00:04:28,250
-Good thinking!
-Yeah, right?
75
00:04:28,417 --> 00:04:30,833
If you happen to have a whisk
and a bowl...
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00:04:31,000 --> 00:04:34,208
This is my answering machine.
Say "peep” after your message.
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00:04:34,375 --> 00:04:36,333
-Very kind, thanks.
-Maria here.
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00:04:36,500 --> 00:04:38,708
-And...
-Wow, an answering machine.
79
00:04:38,875 --> 00:04:41,833
Thought they only existed
in movies with sloppy exposition.
80
00:04:42,000 --> 00:04:43,625
I need a babysitter,
81
00:04:43,875 --> 00:04:48,292
but it seems you're not lounging around
at home as usual. Pity. "Peep!”
82
00:04:48,833 --> 00:04:49,917
No, no...
83
00:04:57,917 --> 00:04:59,042
No stove.
84
00:05:00,417 --> 00:05:01,500
Yeah...
85
00:05:02,750 --> 00:05:04,792
Not into tidying up either, huh?
86
00:05:05,792 --> 00:05:07,250
May I ask what your job is?
87
00:05:07,500 --> 00:05:09,792
-Why?
-You're at home all day.
88
00:05:09,958 --> 00:05:12,458
And no offense, but it's...
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00:05:12,625 --> 00:05:15,208
well past 3 p.m.
and you're still in your pajamas.
90
00:05:15,375 --> 00:05:17,417
-I'm an artist.
-Really?
91
00:05:17,875 --> 00:05:19,917
- I work nights.
-Aha.
92
00:05:20,083 --> 00:05:23,000
-A self-selling artist?
-Self-employed.
93
00:05:23,250 --> 00:05:25,500
-With music and stuff?
-Yeah, sometimes.
94
00:05:25,667 --> 00:05:28,250
-Play something, then.
-No.
95
00:05:28,500 --> 00:05:29,917
Go on!
96
00:05:30,167 --> 00:05:34,292
Don't worry, I used to sing, too.
In a punk band called "The Sick Sisters".
97
00:05:34,458 --> 00:05:37,125
Your song can't be any worse than that.
98
00:05:37,375 --> 00:05:38,958
Yeah, cool.
99
00:05:39,208 --> 00:05:41,917
You hang around with me a lot
100
00:05:45,083 --> 00:05:48,583
You share everything I've got
101
00:05:49,792 --> 00:05:52,500
-You're a sort of hobby artist.
-No, I'm not.
102
00:05:52,750 --> 00:05:55,750
And you perform that?
That was pretty mediocre.
103
00:05:56,000 --> 00:05:59,250
-And what about you?
-Me? What do you mean?
104
00:05:59,500 --> 00:06:02,375
-Sorry, it's 3 p.m. and you're...
-I'm a communist.
105
00:06:03,375 --> 00:06:04,833
-Is that a problem?
-Nope.
106
00:06:07,125 --> 00:06:10,167
Your family's over, but you have no table?
107
00:06:11,125 --> 00:06:13,375
And what about you?
108
00:06:14,458 --> 00:06:16,125
I'm an anarchist.
109
00:06:16,375 --> 00:06:19,292
-A moderate anarchist.
-Cool!
110
00:06:20,042 --> 00:06:22,667
We can be friends
until the revolution starts!
111
00:06:23,292 --> 00:06:25,083
Things will get tricky after that.
112
00:06:26,833 --> 00:06:29,125
-Police.
-Yes.
113
00:06:29,375 --> 00:06:31,250
Exactly. We police.
114
00:06:31,417 --> 00:06:33,500
-We ARE the police.
-Right.
115
00:06:33,667 --> 00:06:36,833
Have you ever seen a kangaroo here?
116
00:06:37,917 --> 00:06:38,917
No.
117
00:06:39,083 --> 00:06:43,375
It's an animal with a pouch,
long tail, pointy ears...
118
00:06:44,625 --> 00:06:47,792
- I know what a kangaroo looks like.
-May we come in?
119
00:06:47,958 --> 00:06:49,708
-Absolutely not.
-Thank you.
120
00:06:49,875 --> 00:06:51,250
Hold on.
121
00:06:51,417 --> 00:06:53,417
The property facility informed us
122
00:06:53,667 --> 00:06:57,417
that a kangaroo
has occupied an apartment here.
123
00:06:57,667 --> 00:07:00,500
But you didn't bump into a kangaroo here?
124
00:07:01,125 --> 00:07:02,292
Nope...
125
00:07:04,125 --> 00:07:07,125
Excuse me, what are you doing?
All this is private.
126
00:07:07,292 --> 00:07:09,458
-We're just doing our job.
-Okay.
127
00:07:17,625 --> 00:07:20,917
Don't you want
to take a look under my bed?
128
00:07:21,083 --> 00:07:25,667
Maybe you'll find my privacy there,
cause I lost it a few minutes ago.
129
00:07:25,917 --> 00:07:28,667
Oh, no... No!
130
00:07:37,750 --> 00:07:40,083
Call us if you see a kangaroo, okay?
131
00:07:40,250 --> 00:07:43,125
Okay. Here's my top tip: Australia.
132
00:07:47,958 --> 00:07:49,250
Mr. Klinger!
133
00:07:49,417 --> 00:07:53,250
-Happy birthday from your phone company!
-What?
134
00:07:53,500 --> 00:07:55,958
You're our last landline customer
in Kreuzberg...
135
00:07:56,125 --> 00:07:59,000
-Thanks.
-...So this wonderful bouquet is for you.
136
00:07:59,167 --> 00:08:00,833
Perhaps you could...
137
00:08:01,000 --> 00:08:03,125
All right, maybe next time then.
138
00:08:14,917 --> 00:08:16,333
It's only me.
139
00:08:17,792 --> 00:08:18,833
Thank you so much.
140
00:08:19,458 --> 00:08:23,333
-Excuse me...
-Real nice of you not to snitch on me.
141
00:08:26,500 --> 00:08:29,458
Excuse me,
why are you bringing your stuff...?
142
00:08:30,583 --> 00:08:32,333
Let's be on first-name terms.
143
00:08:32,500 --> 00:08:35,542
Seems dumb to be so formal
since we're going to live together.
144
00:08:35,708 --> 00:08:37,167
Don't you think?
145
00:08:37,417 --> 00:08:38,958
Champagne truffles?
146
00:08:39,208 --> 00:08:40,833
No, thanks. I don't like them...
147
00:08:41,083 --> 00:08:44,667
I'll hang my hammock here,
if that's okay with you.
148
00:08:45,083 --> 00:08:46,792
And the punching bag here?
149
00:08:46,958 --> 00:08:49,625
-This is my living room...
-"Mine", "yours".
150
00:08:49,792 --> 00:08:52,708
Those are merely
categories of the bourgeoisie.
151
00:08:53,333 --> 00:08:56,917
How are the pancakes coming along?
Didn't you want to make pancakes?
152
00:08:58,583 --> 00:09:02,208
I think this is the beginning
of a beautiful friendship.
153
00:09:02,458 --> 00:09:05,833
You and ... the two of us, I mean.
154
00:09:10,167 --> 00:09:14,333
THE KANGAROO CHRONICLES
155
00:09:15,000 --> 00:09:16,958
You hang around with me a lot
156
00:09:17,125 --> 00:09:18,333
Yeah, so what?
157
00:09:19,042 --> 00:09:21,542
You share everything I've got
158
00:09:21,708 --> 00:09:22,708
How nice of me!
159
00:09:22,958 --> 00:09:26,500
-You vacuum in the middle of the night
-Better than not at all
160
00:09:26,667 --> 00:09:30,500
What you do differs from everything
Everyone thinks right
161
00:09:30,750 --> 00:09:33,875
Your behavior leads me to believe
162
00:09:34,125 --> 00:09:35,750
That we might be friends
163
00:09:36,000 --> 00:09:37,667
That's pretty far-fetched!
164
00:09:38,292 --> 00:09:41,375
Your behavior leads me to believe
165
00:09:42,083 --> 00:09:44,667
-That we might be friends
-That's what YOU think
166
00:09:46,750 --> 00:09:49,917
-If I have a date you are not leavin'
-A dale? Seriously?
167
00:09:50,958 --> 00:09:54,917
When I help you, you say we're even
It's really awesome...
168
00:09:55,083 --> 00:09:57,958
-Catch!
-...how you make every conflict worse
169
00:09:58,458 --> 00:10:00,125
I just want to let you know...
170
00:10:00,292 --> 00:10:01,833
-Uh-huh?
-You get on my nerves!
171
00:10:02,083 --> 00:10:05,333
Your behavior leads me to believe
172
00:10:05,958 --> 00:10:07,792
That we might be friends
173
00:10:08,625 --> 00:10:09,958
Slam dunk, you losers!
174
00:10:10,208 --> 00:10:12,875
Your behavior leads me to believe
175
00:10:13,875 --> 00:10:15,292
That we might be friends
176
00:10:15,542 --> 00:10:17,833
Let's say good acquaintances
177
00:10:18,333 --> 00:10:21,208
When I have a plan
You think yours is better
178
00:10:21,375 --> 00:10:22,208
And rightly so
179
00:10:22,375 --> 00:10:25,167
When I am all upset
You're even upsetter
180
00:10:25,333 --> 00:10:26,333
That's not a word!
181
00:10:26,500 --> 00:10:29,792
There's no one I'd rather argue with
182
00:10:30,250 --> 00:10:35,500
Because I know we agree
That everybody else is really
183
00:10:35,667 --> 00:10:37,958
-...much dumber than we!
-True
184
00:10:38,125 --> 00:10:41,292
Your behavior leads me to believe
185
00:10:41,917 --> 00:10:45,333
-That we might be friends
-I've heard enough. Time for me to join in
186
00:10:45,500 --> 00:10:47,125
Get up!
187
00:10:47,292 --> 00:10:50,125
A YEAR LATER
188
00:10:54,542 --> 00:10:56,917
Oh... so that's it? Too bad.
189
00:10:57,083 --> 00:11:01,375
Today we're reporting from
the headquarters of Our Homeland Inc.
190
00:11:01,625 --> 00:11:03,875
I'm joined here by Jörg Dwigs.
191
00:11:04,042 --> 00:11:06,375
Mr. Dwigs,
why would a successful businessman
192
00:11:06,542 --> 00:11:09,875
get involved in politics
as a right-wing populist?
193
00:11:10,042 --> 00:11:12,958
Right-wing populist... Please.
194
00:11:13,208 --> 00:11:17,000
Jörg Dwigs expresses
the will of the people.
195
00:11:17,167 --> 00:11:20,500
And I think what our country needs
is a little healthy patriotism.
196
00:11:20,667 --> 00:11:24,917
"Healthy patriotism".
Sounds like "benign tumor".
197
00:11:25,875 --> 00:11:29,750
It might not be life-threatening,
but it's still a tumor, you know?
198
00:11:30,000 --> 00:11:31,375
Whatever.
199
00:11:32,208 --> 00:11:35,375
All right.
The first rule of the boxing club is:
200
00:11:35,542 --> 00:11:37,000
don't talk about the boxing club.
201
00:11:37,250 --> 00:11:39,917
The second rule of the boxing club is:
202
00:11:40,083 --> 00:11:43,875
don't talk about the boxing club.
Why is this easy to remember?
203
00:11:44,125 --> 00:11:45,875
It's the same as the first rule.
204
00:11:46,042 --> 00:11:49,333
And the third and last rule
of the boxing club is?
205
00:11:49,583 --> 00:11:52,625
-If you see a Nazi, punch him.
-Right. Go for it!
206
00:11:52,792 --> 00:11:55,208
-Come on, I'm a Nazi.
-Hey.
207
00:11:55,792 --> 00:11:58,292
It's sweet of you to babysit,
208
00:11:58,458 --> 00:12:01,708
but there are people here
who at this time in the morning...
209
00:12:01,875 --> 00:12:03,042
11:30 a.m.?
210
00:12:03,208 --> 00:12:05,917
...who at 11:30 a.m.
would still like to sleep.
211
00:12:06,167 --> 00:12:10,083
-Is there a friendly version of you, too?
-Just the tired, pissed off and angry one.
212
00:12:10,708 --> 00:12:12,750
-What are you up to anyway?
-The boxing club.
213
00:12:12,917 --> 00:12:15,042
I thought we're not supposed
to talk about it?
214
00:12:15,208 --> 00:12:16,917
Ah, right. That's true.
215
00:12:17,167 --> 00:12:19,333
-Hey, join in, we can...
-Ouch!
216
00:12:19,958 --> 00:12:22,417
Yeah, yeah, that's the way to do it!
217
00:12:22,583 --> 00:12:25,250
Look for their weak spot
and shield your face.
218
00:12:25,500 --> 00:12:28,167
Otherwise,
I can deliver an uppercut and...
219
00:12:33,583 --> 00:12:38,167
When you go back to your mom,
remember the first two rules, okay?
220
00:12:38,333 --> 00:12:40,083
I'll get you a champagne truffle.
221
00:12:41,333 --> 00:12:42,333
Finally...
222
00:12:53,375 --> 00:12:56,708
-Are you serious?
-It wasn't me, it came from outside.
223
00:12:57,958 --> 00:13:00,500
I'm allergic to house dust!
224
00:13:07,917 --> 00:13:09,458
Look at that!
225
00:13:10,458 --> 00:13:13,917
-Run for your lives. I'm off.
-Me, too.
226
00:13:14,167 --> 00:13:16,125
I'm too young to die.
227
00:13:16,833 --> 00:13:20,000
Many wonder how you were able
to persuade the city
228
00:13:20,167 --> 00:13:22,875
to let you build over Görlitzer Park?
229
00:13:23,042 --> 00:13:26,625
That is yet another
manipulative question.
230
00:13:26,792 --> 00:13:31,167
We're building over
40% of the land, not 100%.
231
00:13:31,333 --> 00:13:34,708
The question should be:
is this even a park?
232
00:13:34,958 --> 00:13:37,333
It's more like a drug distribution center.
233
00:13:37,583 --> 00:13:41,417
A place where
useless individuals hang out.
234
00:13:41,583 --> 00:13:45,542
There will never be a revolution if you
just laze around in the park like that.
235
00:13:45,708 --> 00:13:46,708
What do you mean?
236
00:13:46,875 --> 00:13:50,583
Your anarchism is so moderate that you
could join the Social Democratic Party.
237
00:13:50,833 --> 00:13:54,333
-You could even become their chairman.
-No need to be so mean.
238
00:13:55,583 --> 00:13:57,750
I need to eat or I'll get a migraine.
239
00:13:58,000 --> 00:13:59,500
Luckily, I have some food.
240
00:14:00,500 --> 00:14:01,500
Want some?
241
00:14:05,000 --> 00:14:07,708
Cold pancake, cold fish fingers...
242
00:14:09,125 --> 00:14:11,583
...and champagne truffles.
243
00:14:13,625 --> 00:14:15,958
Rangakoo likes trumpagne chuffies...
244
00:14:21,042 --> 00:14:23,125
-Heinrich!
-Heinrich!
245
00:14:23,375 --> 00:14:25,792
Go away! Go away!
246
00:14:26,833 --> 00:14:28,042
Go away!
247
00:14:29,708 --> 00:14:30,750
Get off of me!
248
00:14:31,500 --> 00:14:32,542
Get off of me!
249
00:14:32,792 --> 00:14:34,875
Come here, boy! Stop!
250
00:14:35,125 --> 00:14:36,750
Sit! Stay put!
251
00:14:37,000 --> 00:14:38,583
Naughty doggy!
252
00:14:40,167 --> 00:14:44,458
-Dude, somebody just kicked your dog.
-That... That...
253
00:14:44,625 --> 00:14:46,458
That is not allowed?
254
00:14:47,000 --> 00:14:49,708
That is something
I always dreamed of doing!
255
00:14:50,292 --> 00:14:52,625
French bulldogs don't fly so well.
256
00:14:52,792 --> 00:14:55,042
Aerodynamically, they're sort of clumsy.
257
00:14:55,292 --> 00:15:00,375
A Pomeranian or a Pekinese
would have flown 15 feet further.
258
00:15:00,542 --> 00:15:03,542
-Which breed flies best?
-Chihuahuas fly pretty good.
259
00:15:05,042 --> 00:15:07,708
But it depends on how they are sheared.
260
00:15:07,875 --> 00:15:09,708
He won't be doing that again.
261
00:15:10,875 --> 00:15:13,208
-Did you just kick my dog?
-Yeah.
262
00:15:13,375 --> 00:15:15,708
Did you just kick his dog?
263
00:15:15,958 --> 00:15:17,708
Me no speak German.
264
00:15:17,875 --> 00:15:21,833
Playing the foreigner might have been
a bad choice. Look.
265
00:15:22,083 --> 00:15:23,083
GERMAN REICH
266
00:15:23,250 --> 00:15:27,417
The world can consider itself lucky that
Germany didn't expand like that tattoo!
267
00:15:27,667 --> 00:15:30,125
How'd you like it
if I hit your kangaroo?
268
00:15:30,292 --> 00:15:32,917
How'd you like it
if he would hit your kangaroo?
269
00:15:33,083 --> 00:15:34,083
Bring it on!
270
00:15:34,250 --> 00:15:37,583
Technically, it's not my kangaroo.
It belongs to itself.
271
00:15:37,750 --> 00:15:41,750
I'm very touchy when it comes to ownership
not only concerning means of production.
272
00:15:41,917 --> 00:15:45,250
-Are you communists, or what?
-Yeah, are you...
273
00:15:47,667 --> 00:15:49,417
Back for seconds?
274
00:15:52,292 --> 00:15:54,542
I made better contact with him this time.
275
00:16:01,667 --> 00:16:03,708
He won't be doing that again.
276
00:16:03,958 --> 00:16:06,583
I didn't think
we'd get out of that so easily.
277
00:16:09,208 --> 00:16:12,542
All right, you wimps.
Who's turn is it? Want some more?
278
00:16:15,750 --> 00:16:17,333
Run, Forrest! Run!
279
00:16:27,958 --> 00:16:31,500
Hey, you jerk! You're blocking two spaces.
What's your problem?
280
00:16:31,750 --> 00:16:32,750
-Shut up!
-Sucker!
281
00:16:32,917 --> 00:16:35,083
If we don't stop that asshole,
he'll evict us.
282
00:16:35,250 --> 00:16:38,792
Don't worry, Maria.
I was born here behind that bar.
283
00:16:39,042 --> 00:16:42,500
My mom was on night shift.
I just plopped out. Precipitate labor.
284
00:16:42,750 --> 00:16:45,583
I was the sixth kid.
What do you expect?
285
00:16:45,750 --> 00:16:47,750
That road was paved.
286
00:16:47,917 --> 00:16:49,458
Come on, time to go.
287
00:16:51,458 --> 00:16:53,125
-Bye.
-Bye.
288
00:16:53,833 --> 00:16:55,583
I can't stand it.
289
00:16:55,750 --> 00:16:58,167
This rat hole right next
to our lovely tower.
290
00:16:58,333 --> 00:17:02,000
But we do love the historical
building structure, honey bunny.
291
00:17:02,167 --> 00:17:05,250
-Outta the way!
-It was good for PR, believe me.
292
00:17:06,333 --> 00:17:08,083
Hey, get out of the way.
293
00:17:09,583 --> 00:17:10,833
-Sorry.
-Oh, God.
294
00:17:11,083 --> 00:17:15,000
-Get your hands off me!
-I just wanted to help. Where's the key?
295
00:17:15,167 --> 00:17:17,667
-Chill, it's in my pouch.
-They're coming.
296
00:17:17,833 --> 00:17:20,083
-Are you crazy?
- I said: "Get out of the way!"
297
00:17:20,250 --> 00:17:22,333
-Asshole!
-The key. Do you have it?
298
00:17:22,500 --> 00:17:24,625
- I need supplies.
-Where is the key?
299
00:17:24,875 --> 00:17:28,583
-Check this out.
- I meant the key to the door, stupid!
300
00:17:28,833 --> 00:17:31,875
-Cigarettes! No matter which kind.
-Right away.
301
00:17:35,250 --> 00:17:37,125
-Do it now.
-I am.
302
00:17:37,292 --> 00:17:39,417
-They're here.
-Take a chill pill.
303
00:17:39,583 --> 00:17:41,750
Now, please.
Do you have it or not?
304
00:17:42,000 --> 00:17:43,542
Yes, I do. Hold on.
305
00:17:43,792 --> 00:17:45,083
Wait for it...
306
00:17:46,000 --> 00:17:48,750
No, that's not it.
What about your key, huh?
307
00:17:49,000 --> 00:17:51,667
-Do you speak German?
-No, no.
308
00:17:51,833 --> 00:17:55,292
Me no German. Me Turkish man.
309
00:18:02,000 --> 00:18:04,208
-Move it, move it, move it!
-Yeah, yeah.
310
00:18:04,458 --> 00:18:06,792
You're so totally unchilled, man.
311
00:18:06,958 --> 00:18:09,042
That's not it. That's not it, either.
312
00:18:09,208 --> 00:18:11,042
-Now what do we do?
-Oh...
313
00:18:13,708 --> 00:18:16,667
-Let's all just take it real easy.
-What do we do?
314
00:18:16,833 --> 00:18:19,375
Don't make any mistakes.
You are four Nazis.
315
00:18:19,625 --> 00:18:21,708
We're not Nazis, we're patriots.
316
00:18:21,958 --> 00:18:24,042
Sure, four patriots.
317
00:18:24,208 --> 00:18:27,083
However, according
to the Bertelsmann Foundation,
318
00:18:27,250 --> 00:18:31,792
one of you four Naz... patriots,
is an informer for the secret service.
319
00:18:32,625 --> 00:18:35,542
And have you guys ever wondered
320
00:18:35,792 --> 00:18:38,042
which of you is the informer?
321
00:18:47,625 --> 00:18:48,875
Move it.
322
00:18:53,208 --> 00:18:54,500
Good day.
323
00:18:56,042 --> 00:18:58,917
Not the sharpest tool in the shed.
So dumb.
324
00:19:00,792 --> 00:19:02,583
Let. Go. Let go.
325
00:19:03,542 --> 00:19:05,583
-So that's your car?
-Great.
326
00:19:05,750 --> 00:19:07,875
That's so typical for foreigners.
327
00:19:08,125 --> 00:19:12,042
-You not work, but a flashy car.
-It's not my car, it's his.
328
00:19:12,292 --> 00:19:14,542
-Just borrowed.
-Yeah, it's his dad's.
329
00:19:14,708 --> 00:19:16,667
But leave the car out of this.
330
00:19:16,917 --> 00:19:19,792
You have no idea what his dad is like.
331
00:19:19,958 --> 00:19:22,875
-I'd rather have you punch me.
-Yeah, better punch him.
332
00:19:26,125 --> 00:19:27,625
Oh, I bet that hurt.
333
00:19:27,792 --> 00:19:29,750
So you mean the car
334
00:19:30,000 --> 00:19:33,000
doesn't want to get to know
my basketball bat?
335
00:19:34,958 --> 00:19:37,042
"Baseball" bat, and no, it doesn't.
336
00:19:38,125 --> 00:19:41,250
-So I shouldn't do this then?
-No, please don't.
337
00:19:42,458 --> 00:19:45,042
Germany is a beautiful country.
We love Europe.
338
00:19:45,208 --> 00:19:49,708
But soon Europe will belong to the Ottoman
Empire. Very soon... we're a world power.
339
00:19:50,667 --> 00:19:54,875
-Germans always say we steal jobs...
-I shouldn't do this either, huh?
340
00:19:55,125 --> 00:19:56,167
Yeah, please don't.
341
00:19:57,792 --> 00:20:02,583
- I shouldn't slash the tires either, huh?
-That assumption is absolutely right.
342
00:20:06,833 --> 00:20:11,042
- I have nothing against Arabs.
-They're Turks, darling.
343
00:20:11,292 --> 00:20:14,000
- I have nothing against Turks, either.
-In Turkey!
344
00:20:18,167 --> 00:20:20,125
100% organic and German.
345
00:20:20,292 --> 00:20:23,375
Sweetie, don't forget
your salmonella intolerance.
346
00:20:23,625 --> 00:20:25,542
I've digested a lot worse things.
347
00:20:32,167 --> 00:20:33,458
Are they insane?
348
00:20:39,958 --> 00:20:41,375
Are you stupid, or what?
349
00:20:42,917 --> 00:20:46,375
I'll bash in something else
if you don't change your tune.
350
00:20:46,542 --> 00:20:49,292
A rude shit, just like your son!
351
00:20:49,458 --> 00:20:51,833
That there is not my son.
352
00:20:52,458 --> 00:20:54,125
This is my son.
353
00:20:56,333 --> 00:20:57,958
You bunch of fuckwits.
354
00:21:01,583 --> 00:21:05,500
Okay, calm down everyone
or somebody will start crying.
355
00:21:05,667 --> 00:21:07,083
Enough of this crap!
356
00:21:08,458 --> 00:21:10,083
Man, I told you!
357
00:21:11,500 --> 00:21:15,000
I'm so rich I don't care!
358
00:21:15,167 --> 00:21:17,125
I have two more of these!
359
00:21:17,292 --> 00:21:19,958
A black one, a red one, and a gold one.
360
00:21:20,125 --> 00:21:22,875
Thanks, but I was completely
in control of the situation.
361
00:21:23,125 --> 00:21:25,792
Yeah, sure. Are you okay?
362
00:21:25,958 --> 00:21:27,458
Yes, thanks.
363
00:21:31,375 --> 00:21:34,333
Now would be a good time to talk to her.
364
00:21:36,208 --> 00:21:37,292
Maria...
365
00:21:39,375 --> 00:21:40,875
Listen, I wanted...
366
00:21:41,708 --> 00:21:45,542
In case you haven't got
any better plans...
367
00:21:48,500 --> 00:21:51,875
-You know what I mean.
-Are you still in your pajamas?
368
00:21:54,792 --> 00:21:58,542
So, what he's been meaning
to ask you for a while now, is
369
00:21:58,708 --> 00:22:00,750
if you'd go out with him?
370
00:22:02,208 --> 00:22:06,458
-He's not good with feelings and stuff.
-True.
371
00:22:06,625 --> 00:22:10,667
That's totally sweet. Tell him
it would be lovely to go out with him,
372
00:22:10,917 --> 00:22:13,750
but unfortunately it's against the rules.
373
00:22:13,917 --> 00:22:15,875
I see. I'll tell him.
374
00:22:17,500 --> 00:22:20,833
She can't go out with you
because it's against the rules.
375
00:22:23,208 --> 00:22:25,792
-What rules?
-No idea.
376
00:22:27,250 --> 00:22:31,750
- I hope you have insurance.
-You don't know who you're dealing with.
377
00:22:31,917 --> 00:22:34,750
No, you don't know
who YOU'RE dealing with.
378
00:22:35,667 --> 00:22:37,417
The other one, sweetheart.
379
00:22:38,292 --> 00:22:39,750
REAL ESTATE
OUR HOMELAND INC.
380
00:22:40,125 --> 00:22:41,500
ALTERNATIVE TO DEMOCRACY
381
00:22:49,167 --> 00:22:52,125
Mr. Dwigs. I didn't recognize you.
382
00:22:55,042 --> 00:22:56,292
Here you go.
383
00:23:08,083 --> 00:23:11,167
Where is my rabbit's foot?
384
00:23:11,708 --> 00:23:14,292
- I don't know what you mean.
-On the car key.
385
00:23:15,125 --> 00:23:17,083
There was a rabbit's foot.
386
00:23:17,250 --> 00:23:19,458
The rabbit's foot
387
00:23:19,708 --> 00:23:24,625
is the only thing
I have left of my father.
388
00:23:27,125 --> 00:23:29,958
Jörg, I'm a friend of your fathers.
389
00:23:30,583 --> 00:23:32,375
I have something for you.
390
00:23:33,458 --> 00:23:35,542
This lucky charm
391
00:23:36,292 --> 00:23:39,083
has been in your family for generations.
392
00:23:39,875 --> 00:23:45,208
When your father fought in WW2,
he wore it around his neck every day.
393
00:23:46,500 --> 00:23:51,042
Your father knew that if the Russians
were to find the rabbit's foot,
394
00:23:51,208 --> 00:23:53,000
they would confiscate it.
395
00:23:53,667 --> 00:23:56,542
So... he hid it
396
00:23:57,292 --> 00:23:59,792
in the only safe place he knew.
397
00:24:00,708 --> 00:24:02,125
Up his ass.
398
00:24:10,917 --> 00:24:14,792
He carried the rabbit's foot around
up his ass for two years.
399
00:24:16,250 --> 00:24:17,542
And then...
400
00:24:18,125 --> 00:24:21,000
when he got dysentery, he gave it to me.
401
00:24:21,458 --> 00:24:24,083
! hid it up my ass for two years.
402
00:24:25,042 --> 00:24:27,333
And now, little man...
403
00:24:29,625 --> 00:24:31,292
I'm giving it to you.
404
00:24:36,958 --> 00:24:38,875
I'll handle this. Calm down.
405
00:24:40,792 --> 00:24:41,792
Jörg.
406
00:24:45,375 --> 00:24:48,875
-Sorry, we can't pay for this.
-Because we don't work.
407
00:24:49,125 --> 00:24:50,750
Who's talking about money?
408
00:24:51,000 --> 00:24:54,958
If they don't give the rabbit's foot back
voluntarily, you guys are my Plan B.
409
00:25:04,375 --> 00:25:05,417
Oot scover.
410
00:25:06,458 --> 00:25:08,833
The way you distort words is terrible.
411
00:25:09,000 --> 00:25:13,042
-You mean, when I litch swetters?
- I think it's funny.
412
00:25:13,875 --> 00:25:16,208
Look at that! That there...
413
00:25:16,375 --> 00:25:19,500
is the Bud Spencer sledge hammer!
414
00:25:21,708 --> 00:25:24,583
So how long will the building work
go on for?
415
00:25:24,833 --> 00:25:25,875
Five years?
416
00:25:26,042 --> 00:25:28,958
From today,
Kreuzberg is as dead as my mother.
417
00:25:29,125 --> 00:25:33,625
I was born here behind the bar. My mom
was on night shift, I just plopped out.
418
00:25:33,792 --> 00:25:35,333
-Precipitate labor.
-Precipitate labor.
419
00:25:35,583 --> 00:25:38,042
You need to fight back,
just like the guys up there.
420
00:25:38,292 --> 00:25:39,792
It's not that easy, Jesus.
421
00:25:40,042 --> 00:25:43,125
One day your Kid is going to hate you
for that name, Maria.
422
00:25:43,292 --> 00:25:47,708
Well, if it's any use, I have an idea
for a pretty radical protest song.
423
00:25:59,000 --> 00:26:00,375
Hello, everyone.
424
00:26:00,542 --> 00:26:01,625
Hello.
425
00:26:01,792 --> 00:26:04,917
-A non-alcoholic beer, please.
-We don't have any.
426
00:26:06,292 --> 00:26:08,458
You heard. We don't have any.
427
00:26:08,708 --> 00:26:10,125
A normal one, then.
428
00:26:23,208 --> 00:26:26,333
Wouldn't be surprised
if the kid becomes a moron too.
429
00:26:31,500 --> 00:26:35,417
This morning my husband lost
something left to him by his father.
430
00:26:35,583 --> 00:26:36,875
He's very attached to it.
431
00:26:37,125 --> 00:26:38,875
A rabbit's foot about this big.
432
00:26:39,125 --> 00:26:42,000
I'm sure that one of you has it.
433
00:26:42,167 --> 00:26:46,333
If he or she gives it to me now,
the next round is on me!
434
00:26:48,083 --> 00:26:52,667
If he doesn't get it back, this could
become very unpleasant for all of you.
435
00:26:52,833 --> 00:26:55,083
"Unpleasant"? Is someone talking about me?
436
00:26:55,333 --> 00:26:57,375
I can be real unpleasant, too.
437
00:26:57,625 --> 00:27:00,083
And I'm not talking
about an ugly graffiti.
438
00:27:00,333 --> 00:27:01,625
-Graffito.
-What?
439
00:27:01,875 --> 00:27:04,083
"Graffiti" is plural,
the singular is "graffito".
440
00:27:04,250 --> 00:27:08,083
Someday someone's gonna beat the shit out
of you for something like that so hard,
441
00:27:08,250 --> 00:27:11,292
and I'll stay with you until you
come back to your senses so I can say,
442
00:27:11,458 --> 00:27:13,042
"Told you so."
443
00:27:13,208 --> 00:27:14,708
What's this "graffito" nonsense?
444
00:27:14,958 --> 00:27:18,583
You don't say, "You have
a spaghetto stuck to your chin."
445
00:27:18,750 --> 00:27:21,583
Even if that's
the most correct of all singulars.
446
00:27:21,750 --> 00:27:23,042
"Singuli”, Herta.
447
00:27:23,208 --> 00:27:26,667
We don't have any rabbit's foot.
Tell your honey bunny that.
448
00:27:28,125 --> 00:27:29,833
Good riddance!
449
00:27:43,125 --> 00:27:46,375
Now how are we gonna
make things a bit "unpleasant"?
450
00:27:47,000 --> 00:27:48,500
A little terrorist attack?
451
00:27:48,667 --> 00:27:51,125
Dwigs is doing the terror.
452
00:27:51,833 --> 00:27:53,542
What we must organize is...
453
00:27:54,125 --> 00:27:56,333
an anti-terrorist attack.
454
00:27:58,292 --> 00:28:00,500
And what do you have in mind?
455
00:28:01,250 --> 00:28:04,250
We are all the park! We are all the park!
456
00:28:04,500 --> 00:28:06,083
We are all the park!
457
00:28:06,333 --> 00:28:09,500
We are all the park! We are all the park!
458
00:28:10,125 --> 00:28:13,083
The tower must go! Come on!
The tower must go!
459
00:28:13,250 --> 00:28:15,250
The tower must go! Louder!
460
00:28:15,417 --> 00:28:16,750
Are we running?
461
00:28:18,458 --> 00:28:22,333
I am joined by one of the organizers
of the so-called "Tuesday Demos".
462
00:28:22,583 --> 00:28:26,750
-Would you tell us your name?
-Sure. Friedrich-Wilhelm Yilmaz.
463
00:28:27,500 --> 00:28:29,208
That's a rather unusual name.
464
00:28:29,375 --> 00:28:32,250
Yeah, my parents
were very willing to integrate.
465
00:28:32,500 --> 00:28:35,167
They were very "Wilhelm" to integrate!
466
00:28:35,333 --> 00:28:37,292
It's better than my brother's.
467
00:28:38,167 --> 00:28:40,667
-Tell them your name.
-I don't want to.
468
00:28:40,917 --> 00:28:42,958
Go on, tell her your name.
469
00:28:43,667 --> 00:28:44,875
Otto-Von.
470
00:28:47,750 --> 00:28:50,500
-La vache qui rit.
-Are you here for the demo?
471
00:28:50,750 --> 00:28:53,042
No, I just wanted to buy a hand blender.
472
00:28:54,000 --> 00:28:55,083
Okay, thank you.
473
00:28:55,708 --> 00:28:59,292
Bribery and corruption allegations,
residents protesting.
474
00:28:59,542 --> 00:29:04,667
The 600-million-euro project of the
Europe-tower is facing growing resistance.
475
00:29:04,917 --> 00:29:09,667
Possibly because it is the pet project
of the chairman of the AZD,
476
00:29:09,917 --> 00:29:11,208
Jörg Dwigs.
477
00:29:11,375 --> 00:29:16,708
I, Jörg Dwigs, tireless fighter
against the establishment...
478
00:29:16,958 --> 00:29:19,875
My lucky charm! That oversized rat...
479
00:29:20,125 --> 00:29:22,708
-Jeanette!
-This guy is the establishment!
480
00:29:23,583 --> 00:29:25,375
What is it, honey bunny?
481
00:29:28,167 --> 00:29:30,042
-I'm good.
-Yeah?
482
00:29:30,833 --> 00:29:33,875
Come on. Take a picture for Instagram.
483
00:29:36,000 --> 00:29:38,208
"Destroy what destroys you."
484
00:29:38,958 --> 00:29:41,042
Hashtag: fake news.
485
00:29:45,417 --> 00:29:47,542
I don't know, you look a little...
486
00:29:47,792 --> 00:29:50,292
-Perfect. I'd vote for me.
-So would.
487
00:29:50,917 --> 00:29:52,208
Honey bunny...
488
00:29:52,792 --> 00:29:55,625
-I'd like to call your therapist.
-Nonsense!
489
00:29:55,792 --> 00:29:57,667
Come on, you need a session.
490
00:29:57,833 --> 00:30:01,333
-I'll tell him you're on your way.
-Okay, but right now please.
491
00:30:08,708 --> 00:30:11,500
Psychotherapeutic practice Lietzensee,
how may I help you?
492
00:30:11,708 --> 00:30:12,958
-Hello.
-Mrs. Dwigs?
493
00:30:13,125 --> 00:30:15,458
Yes. It's time again.
494
00:30:15,625 --> 00:30:17,250
I'll tell him right away.
495
00:30:20,875 --> 00:30:22,917
And how did you feel?
496
00:30:28,375 --> 00:30:30,750
To be honest, I didn't feel anything.
497
00:30:31,375 --> 00:30:34,125
I often feel that I lack emotions.
498
00:30:35,167 --> 00:30:38,208
I think that you often feel...
How shall I put it?
499
00:30:39,542 --> 00:30:41,458
That you lack emotions.
500
00:30:42,958 --> 00:30:44,042
Crazy.
501
00:30:44,208 --> 00:30:47,708
Many of my patients are amazed
by my empathy,
502
00:30:47,875 --> 00:30:50,417
but then again, I spent years studying.
503
00:30:53,083 --> 00:30:54,250
Go on.
504
00:30:54,917 --> 00:30:56,458
The clock is ticking.
505
00:30:56,708 --> 00:30:58,583
Yes. Quite often...
506
00:30:59,792 --> 00:31:03,458
I get the feeling
that everything I say or do
507
00:31:04,167 --> 00:31:08,875
is somehow pointless...
because no one really listens to me.
508
00:31:09,500 --> 00:31:11,708
Do you mind if I eat something?
509
00:31:13,167 --> 00:31:16,167
- Haven't had a bite to eat all day.
-Go ahead.
510
00:31:20,583 --> 00:31:22,750
The kangaroo thinks
511
00:31:22,917 --> 00:31:26,875
that I don't lack emotions,
but that I have inhibitions.
512
00:31:28,250 --> 00:31:29,708
Have you ever tried...
513
00:31:31,375 --> 00:31:33,542
Have you ever tried alcohol?
514
00:31:34,875 --> 00:31:37,417
-Excuse me?
-It helps a lot of my patients.
515
00:31:37,667 --> 00:31:40,667
I have to admit that I myself...
516
00:31:42,042 --> 00:31:45,000
don't mind having
a bottle of brandy every now and then.
517
00:31:45,167 --> 00:31:46,667
-Seriously?
-Yes, yes.
518
00:31:46,833 --> 00:31:49,708
-That's your advice?
-Sure. Absolutely.
519
00:31:49,875 --> 00:31:51,708
Let's get back to the kangaroo.
520
00:31:51,958 --> 00:31:54,167
I'd rather we talked about me...
521
00:31:54,333 --> 00:31:56,792
Do you only hear its voice?
522
00:32:00,333 --> 00:32:02,208
Or can you see it as well?
523
00:32:06,958 --> 00:32:10,375
What sort of question is that?
Sure I see it. It lives with me.
524
00:32:10,625 --> 00:32:12,042
Of course. Of course.
525
00:32:19,500 --> 00:32:23,042
We need to do something
to get that beach body.
526
00:32:24,208 --> 00:32:29,458
Hello, dear TV viewers.
It's Johnny Helge with you once again.
527
00:32:29,708 --> 00:32:32,083
! have an exercise mat,
528
00:32:32,333 --> 00:32:34,167
and we'll begin with sit-ups.
529
00:32:34,333 --> 00:32:35,792
Oh, no, not sit-ups.
530
00:32:35,958 --> 00:32:38,625
Everyone knows how it's done.
Lie on the floor.
531
00:32:39,458 --> 00:32:41,167
Hands behind your head...
532
00:32:41,333 --> 00:32:43,583
A kangaroo? I mean, a kangaroo?
533
00:32:43,750 --> 00:32:47,833
That's a lovable animal.
A sweet little creature.
534
00:32:48,625 --> 00:32:50,458
One of my patients believes
535
00:32:50,708 --> 00:32:54,042
that a pig lives underneath his bed.
536
00:32:54,542 --> 00:32:57,250
-He even smells it.
-You shouldn't be telling me this.
537
00:32:57,417 --> 00:33:00,583
You think it doesn't bother me
spending the whole day
538
00:33:00,750 --> 00:33:04,125
listening to random strangers'
shitty problems?
539
00:33:04,542 --> 00:33:07,542
I have to talk to someone
about it at some point, too.
540
00:33:08,208 --> 00:33:11,542
-Hello. Sorry about this.
-One of our patients is outside.
541
00:33:11,708 --> 00:33:14,625
-Who is it?
-He who must not be named.
542
00:33:14,792 --> 00:33:17,542
Jesus! Excuse me! Please come.
543
00:33:17,708 --> 00:33:22,208
I'm afraid that we have to interrupt
your session at this point.
544
00:33:22,375 --> 00:33:23,833
But I just...
545
00:33:37,167 --> 00:33:38,375
One...
546
00:33:40,542 --> 00:33:41,750
Two...
547
00:33:44,042 --> 00:33:45,208
Three...
548
00:33:47,208 --> 00:33:48,208
Four...
549
00:33:48,875 --> 00:33:54,125
If you have heating at home,
I encourage you to stick your feet
550
00:33:54,375 --> 00:33:56,417
under the radiator,
551
00:33:56,667 --> 00:34:01,083
or get your husband or wife
or your wives...
552
00:34:02,292 --> 00:34:04,917
Yeah, yeah. Did you forget your key again?
553
00:34:05,417 --> 00:34:07,000
So we meet again.
554
00:34:07,542 --> 00:34:08,958
Hi.
555
00:34:09,750 --> 00:34:11,583
Can I get you something?
556
00:34:11,750 --> 00:34:14,083
Perhaps a few champagne truffles?
557
00:34:15,958 --> 00:34:17,375
What is that?
558
00:34:18,958 --> 00:34:20,208
What is that?
559
00:34:21,417 --> 00:34:23,292
-What?
-That thing.
560
00:34:23,458 --> 00:34:25,833
Supply and demand. Ever heard of it?
561
00:34:28,917 --> 00:34:30,292
-Want some?
-No way!
562
00:34:30,792 --> 00:34:32,458
Hey, hey, hang on!
563
00:34:33,000 --> 00:34:34,792
-What's up?
-Did you pay for that?
564
00:34:35,042 --> 00:34:38,542
-It's free beer today. It says so outside.
-Where? Show me.
565
00:34:38,792 --> 00:34:40,458
-Where?
-There.
566
00:34:40,708 --> 00:34:42,417
FREE BEER TODAY
567
00:34:44,625 --> 00:34:45,917
-Was that you?
-Otto.
568
00:34:46,167 --> 00:34:51,208
The display is on your unencrypted Wi-Fi,
and the password is "1-2-3-4".
569
00:34:53,333 --> 00:34:54,833
WE ARE ALL THE PARK
570
00:34:55,083 --> 00:34:56,333
Hi.
571
00:34:56,583 --> 00:35:00,042
Marc-Uwe, it's 1 p.m.
Did you just fall out of your bed?
572
00:35:01,000 --> 00:35:02,167
No...
573
00:35:02,667 --> 00:35:05,875
I went to see my psychotherapist.
574
00:35:06,125 --> 00:35:08,042
Really, you have a shrink?
575
00:35:08,292 --> 00:35:09,458
Yes, my parents
576
00:35:10,625 --> 00:35:13,292
gave me ten sessions
as a birthday present
577
00:35:13,458 --> 00:35:15,708
because I quit studying philosophy...
578
00:35:15,958 --> 00:35:17,208
Hey, Marc-Uwe!
579
00:35:17,958 --> 00:35:20,583
Want a mate tea? My treat.
Come here.
580
00:35:21,167 --> 00:35:22,292
Come on!
581
00:35:24,000 --> 00:35:25,000
Excuse me.
582
00:35:25,833 --> 00:35:29,333
Give up? I'll count to three,
then I'm gonna kick your butts!
583
00:35:29,500 --> 00:35:32,167
One, two, threeeeeee!
584
00:35:33,958 --> 00:35:35,250
-Here, dude.
-Thanks.
585
00:35:35,417 --> 00:35:37,583
Hey! I wanted to tell you something.
586
00:35:37,833 --> 00:35:40,500
Maybe you should look
for a girl in your price range.
587
00:35:40,750 --> 00:35:42,083
Know what I mean?
588
00:35:43,667 --> 00:35:45,917
And what is my price range?
589
00:35:46,167 --> 00:35:49,375
-Well, more like... discounter.
-Discounter.
590
00:35:50,333 --> 00:35:53,625
-No offense.
-Nope. No offense.
591
00:35:54,417 --> 00:35:57,083
-Anyway she couldn't.
-It's against the rules.
592
00:35:57,833 --> 00:35:59,375
You know the rules?
593
00:36:06,375 --> 00:36:07,875
Hey, what are you doing?
594
00:36:09,458 --> 00:36:11,375
What is it up to again?
595
00:36:12,167 --> 00:36:14,292
Let me... Let me go!
596
00:36:15,000 --> 00:36:16,750
Are you all right?
597
00:36:20,083 --> 00:36:23,250
Ah, another one who's slow on the intake.
598
00:36:23,417 --> 00:36:24,917
-Uptake.
-What?
599
00:36:25,167 --> 00:36:27,042
You say "slow on the uptake."
600
00:36:27,208 --> 00:36:29,417
See? I warned you, dude.
601
00:36:33,292 --> 00:36:34,375
No, no, no!
602
00:36:35,167 --> 00:36:37,708
Oh, God. Not my lovely guitar...
603
00:36:38,417 --> 00:36:40,542
We have a message for you two.
604
00:36:40,708 --> 00:36:43,417
-You stealed from the wrong guy.
-"Stole".
605
00:36:45,292 --> 00:36:48,292
-What do you think got stolen by us?
-"Stole".
606
00:36:48,458 --> 00:36:50,083
-Where's the damn rabbit's foot?
-What?
607
00:36:50,250 --> 00:36:52,500
-The rabbit's foot.
-Where the hell is it?
608
00:36:52,750 --> 00:36:55,083
-The damn lucky charm.
- I have no idea.
609
00:36:55,333 --> 00:36:57,458
Okay, you asked for this.
610
00:37:03,583 --> 00:37:06,125
No, dude, no! What...?
611
00:37:06,292 --> 00:37:09,083
-Not on the nice rug, man!
-The damn rabbit's foot?
612
00:37:09,333 --> 00:37:10,958
This is your last chance.
613
00:37:13,250 --> 00:37:14,875
Choke on it.
614
00:37:19,875 --> 00:37:22,333
We're so rich we don't care.
615
00:37:22,500 --> 00:37:23,792
Heinrich!
616
00:37:23,958 --> 00:37:25,958
We have two more carpets.
617
00:37:26,125 --> 00:37:27,792
One in the bathroom and...
618
00:37:28,625 --> 00:37:30,542
one at his parents'.
619
00:37:32,958 --> 00:37:34,292
Sorry, dude.
620
00:37:34,875 --> 00:37:36,333
Skipping rope.
621
00:37:46,208 --> 00:37:48,583
Are you okay? Are you hurt?
622
00:37:50,917 --> 00:37:53,042
You always screw up, dude.
623
00:37:58,042 --> 00:38:00,750
What did you want
with the rabbit's foot?
624
00:38:01,583 --> 00:38:02,792
I don't know.
625
00:38:04,042 --> 00:38:06,542
It sort of spoke to me, you know?
626
00:38:06,708 --> 00:38:08,542
"Take me!", it said.
627
00:38:09,167 --> 00:38:11,458
Promise you'll never do
shit like that again.
628
00:38:11,625 --> 00:38:12,583
-Yes.
-Yes?
629
00:38:12,750 --> 00:38:16,042
Yeah, word of honor as a communist youth.
630
00:38:17,125 --> 00:38:19,792
That rug really tied the room together.
631
00:38:20,042 --> 00:38:21,542
When do we strike back?
632
00:38:22,000 --> 00:38:25,083
The sooner the better.
But how do we strike back?
633
00:38:25,250 --> 00:38:27,500
We could simply call the cops.
634
00:38:51,542 --> 00:38:52,917
How about a photo?
635
00:38:54,917 --> 00:38:56,417
Don't look so dumb.
636
00:39:04,500 --> 00:39:07,042
-Hello.
-Boy, does that stink!
637
00:39:09,167 --> 00:39:10,333
He smells, not me.
638
00:39:10,583 --> 00:39:13,833
OUR HOMELAND, INC.
639
00:39:14,500 --> 00:39:17,458
-Excuse me, where are you going?
-Upstairs.
640
00:39:19,125 --> 00:39:21,458
Wait. Where exactly are you going?
641
00:39:21,708 --> 00:39:24,042
Carpet delivery for Mrs. Dwigs.
642
00:39:25,167 --> 00:39:27,667
I don't know anything about a carpet.
643
00:39:27,833 --> 00:39:30,667
Mrs. Dwigs is minutes away
from giving birth.
644
00:39:30,833 --> 00:39:34,750
She decided very spontaneously
to have an office birth on her own carpet.
645
00:39:34,917 --> 00:39:37,500
On this very carpet, but not a word.
646
00:39:48,167 --> 00:39:50,542
-Bodengutachten?
-Expertise.
647
00:39:55,417 --> 00:39:58,667
The groundbreaking ceremony
takes place next week.
648
00:40:01,792 --> 00:40:05,042
-You can't! This isn't a good time.
-Of course it is.
649
00:40:05,208 --> 00:40:06,708
-What's going on?
-We have an appointment.
650
00:40:06,875 --> 00:40:08,333
I couldn't stop them.
651
00:40:10,667 --> 00:40:13,208
"We can do it", as we say in Germany.
652
00:40:14,375 --> 00:40:15,667
Why are you here?
653
00:40:15,917 --> 00:40:18,292
Because your Nazis peed on our rug.
654
00:40:18,458 --> 00:40:19,750
Call security.
655
00:40:19,917 --> 00:40:22,417
And they smashed my guitar as well.
656
00:40:22,583 --> 00:40:25,208
-We want a new rug.
-And a new guitar.
657
00:40:25,375 --> 00:40:26,833
I don't care about the guitar.
658
00:40:28,083 --> 00:40:29,708
Let me tell you something.
659
00:40:29,958 --> 00:40:33,417
Learning from America
means learning to win.
660
00:40:33,583 --> 00:40:37,500
You'll fail! The Antisocial Network
will take you down!
661
00:40:37,750 --> 00:40:39,000
Antisocial Network?
662
00:40:39,250 --> 00:40:42,958
-Hang on.
- I thought our group needed a catchy name.
663
00:40:43,208 --> 00:40:46,292
In America, patriots have regained power.
664
00:40:47,083 --> 00:40:50,875
And do you know what the symbol
of this takeover is?
665
00:40:51,125 --> 00:40:52,792
Blow-dried hair?
666
00:40:52,958 --> 00:40:54,750
A Twitter account?
667
00:40:59,750 --> 00:41:01,500
Do you know what this is?
668
00:41:01,917 --> 00:41:06,958
The result of a phallic
inferiority complex?
669
00:41:07,125 --> 00:41:08,208
-Am I right?
-Yes.
670
00:41:08,375 --> 00:41:10,042
This is the future.
671
00:41:10,667 --> 00:41:12,583
The Europatower.
672
00:41:12,833 --> 00:41:14,458
Or the Dwigs Tower,
673
00:41:15,167 --> 00:41:17,625
as we like to call it behind closed doors.
674
00:41:17,792 --> 00:41:22,750
Planned and financed by patriotic
movements from 16 different nations.
675
00:41:22,917 --> 00:41:24,458
17. You forgot Bavaria.
676
00:41:25,250 --> 00:41:27,417
Do you know why
677
00:41:27,667 --> 00:41:31,042
I'm building
our main headquarters in Kreuzberg?
678
00:41:31,208 --> 00:41:33,083
In this filthy center...
679
00:41:33,250 --> 00:41:37,458
-...of the left and green multicultural...
-Hey, you! Take me with you.
680
00:41:38,583 --> 00:41:39,750
No, why?
681
00:41:41,167 --> 00:41:42,708
Because I can.
682
00:41:43,792 --> 00:41:46,958
Because you've lost and we've won.
683
00:41:47,708 --> 00:41:51,458
That's why I can just
walk into your old fortress
684
00:41:51,625 --> 00:41:54,667
and pull out my tower in your face.
685
00:41:54,833 --> 00:41:56,375
So is that a "no"
686
00:41:57,000 --> 00:41:59,667
to a guitar and a new carpet then?
687
00:42:01,250 --> 00:42:04,250
You live here,
in the building next door?
688
00:42:04,417 --> 00:42:06,625
-We live somewhere else.
-Somewhere else.
689
00:42:06,792 --> 00:42:10,875
Know what? I was just thinking, seeing as
I find you so incredibly annoying,
690
00:42:11,042 --> 00:42:13,500
that I'll buy your house, too...
691
00:42:14,917 --> 00:42:16,167
tear it down,
692
00:42:17,500 --> 00:42:20,292
and then build a parking garage there.
693
00:42:22,500 --> 00:42:24,042
And now, get out.
694
00:42:26,208 --> 00:42:27,792
Get your hands off me!
695
00:42:27,958 --> 00:42:29,458
Out we go. Move it.
696
00:42:29,625 --> 00:42:32,333
Careful, I'm on
the list of endangered species.
697
00:42:32,500 --> 00:42:33,750
Stop making a fuss.
698
00:42:33,917 --> 00:42:37,500
I'm a European giant kangaroo. Very rare!
Quit stepping on my tail.
699
00:42:38,250 --> 00:42:41,333
An idiot in uniform is still an idiot.
700
00:42:41,500 --> 00:42:44,042
An idiot in uniform is still in uniform.
701
00:42:46,708 --> 00:42:50,583
By the way, I'm pretty sure
they weren't Nazis, but patriots.
702
00:43:07,250 --> 00:43:08,583
Champagne truffles?
703
00:43:19,792 --> 00:43:22,292
I was wondering if maybe...
704
00:43:22,958 --> 00:43:24,750
I should be more proactive?
705
00:43:25,458 --> 00:43:29,292
- I got some positive vibes from Maria...
- I so don't care.
706
00:43:32,292 --> 00:43:34,708
I mean, I'm so happy for you.
707
00:43:36,833 --> 00:43:39,750
Sorry, I got my thoughts
and words mixed up.
708
00:43:41,000 --> 00:43:43,083
How can I be more proactive?
709
00:43:43,250 --> 00:43:44,708
Just ring her doorbell.
710
00:43:44,958 --> 00:43:48,000
-What do I say?
-Just ring. You'll think of something.
711
00:43:50,542 --> 00:43:53,958
-Okay.
-Maybe don't mention Dwigs' garage.
712
00:43:55,792 --> 00:43:58,292
And you shouldn't wear your pajama!
713
00:43:58,917 --> 00:44:00,750
Yeah, that's a good idea.
714
00:44:04,292 --> 00:44:08,917
Now that you've taken off your pajamas,
maybe you could put on some real clothes.
715
00:44:09,083 --> 00:44:10,208
True.
716
00:44:11,875 --> 00:44:14,458
A bathrobe is not what I meant.
717
00:44:25,125 --> 00:44:26,208
No.
718
00:44:31,542 --> 00:44:33,042
Hi. I...
719
00:44:35,125 --> 00:44:36,542
Yes, what is it?
720
00:44:37,167 --> 00:44:38,250
I wan...
721
00:44:39,333 --> 00:44:42,125
I wanted to make some pancakes.
722
00:44:43,292 --> 00:44:46,917
And I realized that...
I don't have any eggs [balls].
723
00:44:48,208 --> 00:44:51,042
So, you don't have any eggs?
724
00:44:51,958 --> 00:44:53,708
That came out all wrong.
725
00:44:55,333 --> 00:44:57,708
I forgot to buy eggs.
726
00:44:57,875 --> 00:45:03,042
That seems a bit dumb to me, since eggs
are an important ingredient for pancakes.
727
00:45:04,250 --> 00:45:07,750
If I'd realized sooner,
I'd have saved myself a lot of trouble.
728
00:45:10,375 --> 00:45:13,292
So would you happen to have eggs,
729
00:45:13,458 --> 00:45:15,792
some chickens' eggs for me?
730
00:45:16,042 --> 00:45:17,250
I'm a vegan.
731
00:45:17,875 --> 00:45:21,833
I don't keep the unborn babies
of sentient beings in my fridge.
732
00:45:22,000 --> 00:45:23,000
Cool.
733
00:45:24,042 --> 00:45:25,333
All right then...
734
00:45:26,083 --> 00:45:27,125
Bye.
735
00:45:30,125 --> 00:45:31,125
Bye.
736
00:45:32,167 --> 00:45:34,917
Wow. Just wow.
737
00:45:35,083 --> 00:45:39,292
I thought it'd be funny,
but that surpassed all my expectations.
738
00:45:39,792 --> 00:45:44,167
Life is a succession
of missed opportunities.
739
00:45:44,333 --> 00:45:46,000
Well, maybe yours is.
740
00:45:54,750 --> 00:45:58,125
It was a joke.
Your face is always so priceless.
741
00:45:58,375 --> 00:46:01,958
-So you're not a vegan?
-Yes, I am. These are Jesus' eggs.
742
00:46:02,208 --> 00:46:04,125
Jesus' eggs? Good grief.
743
00:46:05,042 --> 00:46:08,542
The Catholic Church
would pay a fortune for this relict.
744
00:46:12,708 --> 00:46:15,875
I myself am a vegetarian.
745
00:46:16,042 --> 00:46:19,542
We could almost
go out for dinner then. Almost.
746
00:46:19,792 --> 00:46:23,000
I've been on the verge
of veganism for a long time.
747
00:46:26,333 --> 00:46:28,417
Just let me know when you get there.
748
00:46:29,042 --> 00:46:33,500
-I've arrived.
-Cute. But I can't go out with you.
749
00:46:34,500 --> 00:46:36,917
It's against the rules.
You know that.
750
00:46:38,583 --> 00:46:40,417
Well, bye!
751
00:46:43,125 --> 00:46:46,083
Do you think these rules really exist,
or does she just not like me?
752
00:46:46,333 --> 00:46:49,500
Well, you know...
I think she does like you, but...
753
00:46:49,750 --> 00:46:53,042
the problem is
that you are not really very...
754
00:46:54,500 --> 00:46:58,042
-Not very...?
-What's the word? You're not very...
755
00:46:58,208 --> 00:47:00,667
-Sexy?
-Yes. That's obvious,
756
00:47:00,833 --> 00:47:05,667
but that's not what I meant. I meant...
Why can't I think of the word?
757
00:47:05,833 --> 00:47:08,333
-Not successful?
-Sure, but that's not...
758
00:47:08,500 --> 00:47:12,542
-Not very funny?
-For sure, or you'd be more successful.
759
00:47:12,708 --> 00:47:18,042
-I meant, you're not... particularly...
-Particularly interesting?
760
00:47:18,292 --> 00:47:21,167
Yes, exactly!
That's the word I was looking for.
761
00:47:21,417 --> 00:47:23,750
You're not particularly interesting.
762
00:47:24,000 --> 00:47:27,750
Well, you're nothing special.
You're... You're...
763
00:47:28,000 --> 00:47:30,000
You're like a blank sheet of paper.
764
00:47:30,250 --> 00:47:34,125
Or like one of those
recycled sheets of paper. A gray one.
765
00:47:34,292 --> 00:47:36,375
You're like a Walmart suit.
766
00:47:36,542 --> 00:47:37,708
SHRINK TODAY 5 PM
767
00:47:37,958 --> 00:47:40,000
You can wear it,
but it's not that chic.
768
00:47:40,250 --> 00:47:45,875
Or like a Fiat Punto. It's fine,
but you wouldn't go on vacation in it.
769
00:47:46,125 --> 00:47:49,375
-You know, like a...
-Okay, I get the gist.
770
00:47:55,500 --> 00:47:57,833
No wonder I need to see a shrink.
771
00:47:59,125 --> 00:48:03,625
I just want to help. Maybe you need
to do something to spark her interest.
772
00:48:06,833 --> 00:48:10,167
-Oh, dear.
-He really is building a parking garage.
773
00:48:10,792 --> 00:48:14,208
How this came about
will remain our ugly little secret.
774
00:48:20,583 --> 00:48:24,583
No need to worry at all.
You're not crazy.
775
00:48:24,750 --> 00:48:27,542
At least not compared to
my other patients.
776
00:48:27,792 --> 00:48:32,167
One of them, for instance,
actually believes he has a talking kang...
777
00:48:33,292 --> 00:48:37,292
Mr. Kling! Hello. You're here already?
Come, come.
778
00:48:38,375 --> 00:48:42,292
That's great. Do you have my new CD?
"The Inner Meadow?"
779
00:48:42,458 --> 00:48:45,667
I'll give you a good price
if you buy the book, too.
780
00:48:45,833 --> 00:48:48,000
Please come, the clock is ticking.
781
00:48:48,167 --> 00:48:50,208
-Sure. Thank you.
-No interruptions.
782
00:48:50,375 --> 00:48:54,500
-You don't believe me, do you?
-Yes, I do. I live with a wildebeest.
783
00:48:56,583 --> 00:48:59,458
-I'll bring the kangaroo next time.
-Great.
784
00:48:59,625 --> 00:49:04,750
Maybe also bring the March Hare,
and I'll ask the Mad Hatter,
785
00:49:04,917 --> 00:49:09,583
and we'll have a wonderful tea party.
Please take a seat. The clock is ticking.
786
00:49:09,750 --> 00:49:12,125
Speaking of tea parties...
787
00:49:12,708 --> 00:49:16,250
After the last session I felt so... great.
788
00:49:16,500 --> 00:49:20,833
-That's what I went to college for.
-Yes, well, I wanted to give you...
789
00:49:21,000 --> 00:49:24,250
No, you know I can't
accept gifts from patients...
790
00:49:27,667 --> 00:49:29,833
Oh, that's very thoughtful of you.
791
00:49:30,000 --> 00:49:31,125
If you want to,
792
00:49:31,375 --> 00:49:34,083
we could destroy
the evidence right away.
793
00:49:34,250 --> 00:49:36,167
-I'll get some glasses.
-Yes.
794
00:49:39,958 --> 00:49:41,333
Oh, Mr. Kling.
795
00:49:41,917 --> 00:49:43,667
I can imagine it's a big burden
796
00:49:43,833 --> 00:49:47,542
to have to listen to
the psychobabble of others all day ...
797
00:49:47,708 --> 00:49:50,417
A burden? Mr. Kling, it's hell.
798
00:49:50,875 --> 00:49:53,042
Every human is an abyss.
799
00:49:53,208 --> 00:49:57,083
It makes you dizzy to look down.
800
00:50:00,917 --> 00:50:02,000
Oh, yeah?
801
00:50:23,958 --> 00:50:28,542
Last time we had to interrupt our session,
because of that...
802
00:50:29,667 --> 00:50:31,000
You know, sometimes...
803
00:50:32,667 --> 00:50:35,458
you have a patient
804
00:50:35,708 --> 00:50:38,958
whose problem is quite simply...
805
00:50:40,042 --> 00:50:42,292
that he's a total asshole.
806
00:50:44,292 --> 00:50:47,667
And what kind of asshole problems
do these assholes have?
807
00:50:47,833 --> 00:50:50,500
You know I'm not at liberty to tell you.
808
00:50:50,750 --> 00:50:53,375
-Just a little...
-Oh, stop it.
809
00:50:53,625 --> 00:50:56,208
-No, a little bit. Just a little bit.
-Look.
810
00:50:56,375 --> 00:50:57,500
Yes.
811
00:50:58,167 --> 00:51:00,583
Dwigs has the following problem.
812
00:51:01,958 --> 00:51:05,125
Friedrich-Wilhelm, can't you help me?
The fridge is leaking.
813
00:51:06,625 --> 00:51:09,458
-That's not what I would call help, bro.
-Right.
814
00:51:09,625 --> 00:51:12,167
Now I know Dwigs' dirty little secret.
815
00:51:12,417 --> 00:51:16,917
We just need to come up with proof
and you need to hacker... hack his PC.
816
00:51:17,167 --> 00:51:19,250
-His dirty little secret?
-Yes.
817
00:51:19,500 --> 00:51:21,000
Dwigs fudged a soil report.
818
00:51:21,167 --> 00:51:24,708
The soil is too sandy.
The tower would cost five times as much.
819
00:51:24,958 --> 00:51:27,500
And you have to... hack into his computer.
820
00:51:27,667 --> 00:51:31,458
You think there's a folder
on Dwigs' desktop called "top secret"
821
00:51:31,625 --> 00:51:35,583
containing a file called
"incriminatingdocument.pdf" or what?
822
00:51:35,750 --> 00:51:37,083
Well, it's possible.
823
00:51:37,333 --> 00:51:40,292
Even if it were,
how would I get a hold of his PC?
824
00:51:41,708 --> 00:51:43,792
Let's think...
825
00:51:44,417 --> 00:51:49,417
If we had a chance to sneak
into Dwigs' house unnoticed...
826
00:51:50,083 --> 00:51:51,167
Maybe when...
827
00:51:52,167 --> 00:51:55,583
lots of other people are there.
828
00:51:55,750 --> 00:52:00,292
Maybe... during a party!
829
00:52:17,667 --> 00:52:22,542
This is purely a reconnaissance mission.
Be as inconspicuous as possible.
830
00:52:22,708 --> 00:52:25,542
-Yeah, yeah.
-Dear guests, dear friends.
831
00:52:25,792 --> 00:52:28,000
We're so happy you're all here.
832
00:52:28,250 --> 00:52:30,292
Three words
I don't want to hear from you tonight:
833
00:52:30,458 --> 00:52:32,792
capitalism, swine system, Vietcong.
834
00:52:32,958 --> 00:52:33,958
I got that.
835
00:52:34,125 --> 00:52:36,583
-And no booze.
-I never drink on duty.
836
00:52:36,750 --> 00:52:40,250
All I need is you
Through others I see through
837
00:52:40,667 --> 00:52:43,875
You're my guiding star that I like too
838
00:52:44,125 --> 00:52:46,792
I think it was
a huge mistake to bring you.
839
00:52:47,625 --> 00:52:50,500
-It was a mistake to bring YOU.
-This looks good on you.
840
00:52:50,667 --> 00:52:54,792
Yeah? You look pretty nice yourself.
841
00:52:54,958 --> 00:52:57,000
Seriously, kids? Get a room.
842
00:52:57,958 --> 00:52:58,958
Good evening.
843
00:52:59,208 --> 00:53:01,000
You I will not share
844
00:53:01,167 --> 00:53:04,583
No strangers shall part us,
don't they dare
845
00:53:05,750 --> 00:53:09,708
When the curtain falls
With you I enjoy pause
846
00:53:09,875 --> 00:53:11,250
Oh, my God.
847
00:53:11,417 --> 00:53:15,083
My homeland, homeland that is you...
848
00:53:16,958 --> 00:53:19,583
-Homeland
-Homeland, that's you
849
00:53:19,750 --> 00:53:20,750
I'm gonna barf!
850
00:53:21,000 --> 00:53:24,458
Home is wherever you are
851
00:53:24,625 --> 00:53:25,708
Hello!
852
00:53:26,583 --> 00:53:29,625
My homeland, that's you...
853
00:53:29,875 --> 00:53:31,833
How does a car get into a living room?
854
00:53:32,000 --> 00:53:34,042
-Garage lift.
-That's right.
855
00:53:34,292 --> 00:53:37,375
Garage on the seventh floor.
Must be pretty annoying
856
00:53:37,542 --> 00:53:39,875
when your acquaintances
ask every 1st of May
857
00:53:40,042 --> 00:53:43,625
if they can park their car
in your living room that night.
858
00:53:56,875 --> 00:53:58,000
Look.
859
00:53:58,250 --> 00:54:01,000
We know those guys. Our buddies.
860
00:54:01,167 --> 00:54:03,125
His office must be back there.
861
00:54:04,417 --> 00:54:06,083
Exactly!
That's where I have to go.
862
00:54:13,542 --> 00:54:16,833
We need to mingle.
Inconspicuously. Small talk.
863
00:54:17,083 --> 00:54:18,917
Small talk is my strong suit.
864
00:54:21,542 --> 00:54:23,292
I'll try tax havens.
865
00:54:24,292 --> 00:54:26,083
We don't want the terror
866
00:54:26,250 --> 00:54:30,833
of the radically green socialist
gay-lesbian minority lobby anymore.
867
00:54:31,000 --> 00:54:34,417
The radically green socialist
gay-lesbian minority lobby?
868
00:54:34,667 --> 00:54:37,000
Yes, the RGSGLML.
869
00:54:39,250 --> 00:54:44,167
You do know that our skies are sprayed
extensively with toxic chemicals?
870
00:54:44,417 --> 00:54:48,833
-No.
-Here you see the so-called chemtrails.
871
00:54:49,000 --> 00:54:52,333
They're trying to make
the German people infertile.
872
00:54:54,875 --> 00:54:57,500
How can I invest my money
politically correct,
873
00:54:57,667 --> 00:55:00,125
that is
in a right-wing nationalist cause?
874
00:55:00,375 --> 00:55:03,083
-Let me help you.
-The answer: our new equity fund.
875
00:55:03,333 --> 00:55:07,833
In our portfolio there are only companies
that use child and slave labor
876
00:55:08,000 --> 00:55:10,667
in third world countries
for their production.
877
00:55:10,833 --> 00:55:14,042
And how is that different
to a normal equity fund?
878
00:55:16,042 --> 00:55:17,875
Here, hold this for a second.
879
00:55:18,042 --> 00:55:20,875
It's gotten so bad that you hardly find
880
00:55:21,125 --> 00:55:23,875
someone around here
who talks properly German.
881
00:55:24,125 --> 00:55:28,750
-I feel pushed to the edge. You know?
-Yeah, we know.
882
00:55:31,292 --> 00:55:32,708
There you are, you four.
883
00:55:32,875 --> 00:55:36,917
- I don't know how to get past those guys.
-You have to distract them.
884
00:55:37,167 --> 00:55:39,500
-Why me?
-That's a stage, right?
885
00:55:40,000 --> 00:55:41,000
-Yes!
-No, no.
886
00:55:41,167 --> 00:55:44,042
-Which one of us is the hobby artist?
-I'm not a hobby artist.
887
00:55:44,292 --> 00:55:46,917
You're gonna go up there now
and sing a song.
888
00:55:47,083 --> 00:55:49,042
One that everyone has to listen to.
889
00:55:49,292 --> 00:55:51,875
How about
your pretty radical protest song?
890
00:55:52,042 --> 00:55:55,250
-Guys, are you messing with me?
-No. You can do it.
891
00:55:58,000 --> 00:55:59,667
-Excuse me.
-Me, too.
892
00:56:00,292 --> 00:56:02,583
Or play a Village People song.
893
00:56:03,208 --> 00:56:05,833
-Black-brown is the hazelnut in E.
-Hello? Excuse me.
894
00:56:06,000 --> 00:56:07,417
-Yes?
895
00:56:08,167 --> 00:56:09,833
-I'm Marc-Uwe.
-Hi.
896
00:56:10,083 --> 00:56:13,917
-I'd like to sing for Jörg.
-That's not gonna work...
897
00:56:14,083 --> 00:56:15,083
Okay...
898
00:56:17,917 --> 00:56:19,042
Hello.
899
00:56:24,083 --> 00:56:29,167
Well, you all look like a crowd
who really like to tag along.
900
00:56:29,417 --> 00:56:32,250
I mean, sing along. Let's do it.
901
00:56:32,500 --> 00:56:34,667
-We have a problem.
-It's really hard to try not to quit
902
00:56:34,917 --> 00:56:38,625
An endless debate with a pile of shit
903
00:56:38,792 --> 00:56:43,083
-Ups... watch your step.
-You kept on having them come by
904
00:56:44,250 --> 00:56:47,375
To each and every talk show
To give it a try
905
00:56:47,542 --> 00:56:50,917
And it's mostly a Nazi acting tough
906
00:56:51,167 --> 00:56:55,625
Talking all bullshit but now it's enough!
It's enough!
907
00:56:56,458 --> 00:56:58,917
-Need help with the password?
-Don't need one.
908
00:56:59,083 --> 00:57:00,458
Why not?
909
00:57:00,708 --> 00:57:04,750
Most versions of Windows have a weak spot,
and when booting up...
910
00:57:05,000 --> 00:57:07,000
-Are you really interested?
-No.
911
00:57:07,750 --> 00:57:11,167
Enough! We've had enough
912
00:57:11,333 --> 00:57:14,292
It's over now, it's over now...
913
00:57:15,250 --> 00:57:18,250
-Seriously?
-One, two, three, four.
914
00:57:19,417 --> 00:57:20,542
No.
915
00:57:21,875 --> 00:57:23,875
19-33...
916
00:57:26,833 --> 00:57:29,708
Hey, you again!
Take me! Take me with you!
917
00:57:29,958 --> 00:57:31,417
You assholes!
918
00:57:34,750 --> 00:57:35,792
That's enough!
919
00:57:36,042 --> 00:57:38,000
Thank you very much, that was...
920
00:57:38,625 --> 00:57:41,833
I'll go secure the grape trout,
I mean, the escape route.
921
00:57:42,083 --> 00:57:45,292
-Thanks to this untalented artist.
-I'm still working on it...
922
00:57:45,542 --> 00:57:47,042
-Ouch!
-It's enough now!
923
00:57:51,375 --> 00:57:55,167
Capitalism! Swine system! Vietcong!
924
00:57:55,333 --> 00:57:56,667
What are you doing?
925
00:57:56,833 --> 00:57:59,750
We're getting outta here!
To the elevator. Buckle up!
926
00:58:00,000 --> 00:58:01,125
Oh, God!
927
00:58:02,750 --> 00:58:05,583
-By the way, I can't drive.
-Where's the remote?
928
00:58:05,833 --> 00:58:07,708
-For the elevator?
-Let's go!
929
00:58:08,292 --> 00:58:09,875
Have they gone crazy?
930
00:58:16,125 --> 00:58:17,875
What are you doing?
We're on the 7th floor!
931
00:58:18,125 --> 00:58:20,500
No one likes nagging passengers.
932
00:58:44,333 --> 00:58:45,542
That's enough!
933
00:58:50,500 --> 00:58:54,167
-Stop.
-Hey. Good thing you're here.
934
00:58:54,417 --> 00:58:58,458
I'd like a vegetarian Big Mac
and sweet potato fries. And you?
935
00:58:58,958 --> 00:59:01,875
-I just want a soda.
-He just wants a soda.
936
00:59:02,042 --> 00:59:03,750
To go, please!
937
00:59:07,292 --> 00:59:08,917
Number two.
938
00:59:15,292 --> 00:59:19,417
That's just great. I can't find anything
on kangaroos here.
939
00:59:20,417 --> 00:59:25,125
I still request to have them both
taken into immediate custody.
940
00:59:25,292 --> 00:59:30,083
There is a flight risk... danger of
collusion and danger of re-offense.
941
00:59:30,250 --> 00:59:33,792
Do you really think the kangaroo
will drive a sports car into a pool again?
942
00:59:33,958 --> 00:59:36,542
I regret nothing.
I would do it all again any time.
943
00:59:38,125 --> 00:59:41,583
Oh, why do I always get
these frickin' cases?
944
00:59:42,250 --> 00:59:45,708
-It's making me miserable.
-Have you tried alcohol?
945
00:59:47,458 --> 00:59:51,333
Of course. But let me tell you,
that's no long-term solution.
946
00:59:51,500 --> 00:59:55,042
- I still request custody because I...
-Yes, all right.
947
00:59:55,292 --> 00:59:58,792
But where should we put the kangaroo?
I called the zoo...
948
00:59:58,958 --> 01:00:01,792
Excuse me,
am I hearing right, you fascist?
949
01:00:02,667 --> 01:00:05,417
I think the most appropriate thing here
950
01:00:05,583 --> 01:00:08,417
would be negligence
of duties as a pet owner...
951
01:00:08,583 --> 01:00:11,208
But it's not my kangaroo.
952
01:00:11,458 --> 01:00:15,500
I refuse to acknowledge this court
if it doesn't acknowledge me!
953
01:00:15,750 --> 01:00:18,708
-Fucking class justice!
-Now that really does it!
954
01:00:19,833 --> 01:00:23,958
Custody as a result of negligence
of your duties as a pet owner.
955
01:00:24,125 --> 01:00:27,792
-Bail is 5,000 euros.
-This is about criminal damage...
956
01:00:30,292 --> 01:00:32,125
10,000 euros.
957
01:00:32,375 --> 01:00:36,167
-Teach your kangaroo some respect.
-It's not mine. It owns itself.
958
01:00:36,333 --> 01:00:38,875
It's pretty touchy
when it comes to ownership...
959
01:00:39,042 --> 01:00:42,417
I don't mind class justice.
I mind the class that's judging.
960
01:00:42,667 --> 01:00:44,917
Show some respect for the court.
961
01:00:45,167 --> 01:00:46,833
No respect for bullshit!
962
01:00:48,250 --> 01:00:49,708
Bail is 20,000 euros.
963
01:00:49,958 --> 01:00:52,125
Don't say anything. Just be quiet.
964
01:00:52,292 --> 01:00:54,417
History will absolve me.
965
01:00:54,667 --> 01:00:57,250
You're safe, asshole.
They're after me.
966
01:00:57,500 --> 01:00:59,833
-Really?
-Yes, of course.
967
01:01:02,125 --> 01:01:05,208
So that means... I'm free to go?
968
01:01:05,458 --> 01:01:06,667
-No!
-Yes.
969
01:01:08,792 --> 01:01:11,083
I see. All right.
970
01:01:12,042 --> 01:01:16,667
I'm happy we found a solution
which works for everyone.
971
01:01:46,292 --> 01:01:49,500
It's... very tastefully furnished.
972
01:02:12,792 --> 01:02:14,417
Kling. Follow me!
973
01:02:18,792 --> 01:02:21,458
-Your lawyer is here.
-My lawyer?
974
01:02:23,500 --> 01:02:26,000
I'd like to state that
that's not my lawyer.
975
01:02:26,167 --> 01:02:30,375
Nonsense! As your lawyer, I advise you
to use your right to remain silent.
976
01:02:30,542 --> 01:02:34,458
I request to annul
my client's arrest warrant immediately.
977
01:02:34,625 --> 01:02:37,417
-But why?
-On the basis of new facts.
978
01:02:37,583 --> 01:02:38,750
Which new facts?
979
01:02:38,917 --> 01:02:41,542
You may have learned from the press
980
01:02:41,708 --> 01:02:45,750
that the plaintiff, Jörg Dwigs,
didn't have a building permission
981
01:02:45,917 --> 01:02:48,917
for his car elevator
or his roof terrace pool.
982
01:02:49,083 --> 01:02:54,667
Legally speaking, there was no car
in the living room of the apartment
983
01:02:54,917 --> 01:03:00,167
or a pool on the roof terrace.
Therefore, my client is only responsible
984
01:03:00,333 --> 01:03:02,167
for his... for his...
985
01:03:03,833 --> 01:03:08,375
pet driving something that didn't exist
into something that wasn't there.
986
01:03:09,000 --> 01:03:12,500
Legally speaking,
nothing happened at all.
987
01:03:13,083 --> 01:03:14,500
Am I right?
988
01:03:38,958 --> 01:03:39,917
PRESS
989
01:03:42,917 --> 01:03:44,833
No, no. Show me again.
990
01:03:46,542 --> 01:03:48,333
-So this is a hologram?
-Yep.
991
01:03:48,500 --> 01:03:50,333
-Can you do something with it?
-I can try.
992
01:03:50,500 --> 01:03:54,167
And there was nothing else on his PC?
No incriminating documents? Nothing?
993
01:03:54,333 --> 01:03:55,333
Nothing.
994
01:03:58,167 --> 01:03:59,625
I have a plan.
995
01:04:00,500 --> 01:04:03,333
- I was afraid you would say that.
-We'll need a team.
996
01:04:04,792 --> 01:04:08,958
What are your specialties?
Can you fly? Make yourselves invisible?
997
01:04:09,208 --> 01:04:11,500
-Make funny voices?
-What does it want?
998
01:04:11,750 --> 01:04:16,875
-Maybe a punch in the face.
-That's the right attitude. You're in.
999
01:04:17,042 --> 01:04:21,042
All I can say is there are
these and those real estate investors,
1000
01:04:21,208 --> 01:04:23,167
and some completely different.
1001
01:04:23,333 --> 01:04:26,458
-Those are the worst.
-I don't follow.
1002
01:04:26,625 --> 01:04:29,958
Don't worry, young lady.
Not everyone can be a bright spark.
1003
01:04:30,125 --> 01:04:32,500
Some have to make do
with a low-energy light bulb.
1004
01:04:32,667 --> 01:04:34,417
Congrats. You made the team.
1005
01:04:35,167 --> 01:04:36,500
What team?
1006
01:04:37,250 --> 01:04:41,750
-How long do I have to sit here, Mom?
-What makes this applicant special?
1007
01:04:42,167 --> 01:04:43,583
He's very loyal.
1008
01:04:45,042 --> 01:04:46,917
And I don't have a babysitter.
1009
01:04:47,500 --> 01:04:50,333
All right. We just need one more.
1010
01:04:52,125 --> 01:04:54,708
Kling. You can go.
1011
01:04:54,875 --> 01:04:57,292
Did my lawyer swing it?
1012
01:04:57,750 --> 01:04:59,458
No, someone paid your bail.
1013
01:05:01,417 --> 01:05:02,875
You paid my bail?
1014
01:05:03,583 --> 01:05:07,125
No. Show him what we did.
No more hobby art.
1015
01:05:07,792 --> 01:05:10,042
-I'm not talking to you.
-Show him.
1016
01:05:10,208 --> 01:05:13,208
We posted this online
and said it was an art performance.
1017
01:05:13,458 --> 01:05:15,750
We got your bail through crowdfunding.
1018
01:05:15,917 --> 01:05:18,750
You're a bit famous now,
for "professional” art on a big scale.
1019
01:05:19,000 --> 01:05:21,958
The counterattack of
the Antisocial Network will be epic.
1020
01:05:22,125 --> 01:05:26,750
-We're planning an anti-terror attack...
- I don't want to be part of your attack.
1021
01:05:26,917 --> 01:05:28,542
Because
somehow I have the feeling
1022
01:05:28,792 --> 01:05:33,208
that whenever you have an idea,
I get punched in the face. And that's...
1023
01:05:33,708 --> 01:05:35,917
-...not good.
-Why are you mad at me?
1024
01:05:36,083 --> 01:05:37,917
Why? I just told you.
1025
01:05:38,833 --> 01:05:41,333
-But...
-You said to vent my emotions.
1026
01:05:41,500 --> 01:05:44,750
-Well, here they are.
-Yes, but not on me.
1027
01:05:45,000 --> 01:05:47,500
Guys, we only have an hour.
Get a move on!
1028
01:05:49,875 --> 01:05:52,333
EUROPATOWER
LAUNCH CEREMONY
1029
01:05:54,125 --> 01:05:56,708
-Are you worried, honey bunny?
-No.
1030
01:05:58,500 --> 01:06:01,250
Jörg Dwigs doesn't worry.
1031
01:06:03,083 --> 01:06:04,875
My luck won't run out.
1032
01:06:06,750 --> 01:06:12,125
Did I get this right? We know his dirty
little secret, but we don't have proof?
1033
01:06:12,292 --> 01:06:15,750
We don't need any.
We're living in a post-factual age.
1034
01:06:16,000 --> 01:06:18,833
-What's that?
-We'll just claim we have proof.
1035
01:06:19,083 --> 01:06:20,500
During the ceremony.
1036
01:06:20,667 --> 01:06:23,875
I'll secretly knock out the architect
and give his speech.
1037
01:06:25,000 --> 01:06:27,542
Well, I think we look pretty similar.
1038
01:06:30,708 --> 01:06:33,667
So, does everyone know
what they are supposed to do?
1039
01:06:33,833 --> 01:06:34,958
I thought so.
1040
01:06:35,208 --> 01:06:38,625
That's why I prepared some handouts.
Pass these around, please.
1041
01:06:39,250 --> 01:06:41,917
I even came up with a logo.
It's very pretty.
1042
01:06:42,542 --> 01:06:44,458
-Have you got one for him?
-Nope.
1043
01:06:45,208 --> 01:06:48,708
He's not coming.
I don't know why he's here.
1044
01:06:48,958 --> 01:06:52,583
-You're not coming?
-No. I'll be watching with goodwill,
1045
01:06:52,750 --> 01:06:55,292
but this time someone else
can get his face punched!
1046
01:06:55,458 --> 01:06:57,417
-Schmock.
-And also, I have a migraine.
1047
01:06:57,667 --> 01:06:59,458
Good thing we got you out of jail.
1048
01:06:59,708 --> 01:07:01,500
-Our hero.
-I don't need this.
1049
01:07:01,667 --> 01:07:03,208
Go on then. Leave!
1050
01:07:03,458 --> 01:07:06,000
-Stay, Marc-Uwe.
-You go ahead.
1051
01:07:06,250 --> 01:07:07,583
Bye now.
1052
01:07:08,208 --> 01:07:10,750
Okay, look at your handouts.
Soon it's showtime.
1053
01:07:14,792 --> 01:07:17,458
-Thank you.
-Madame Le Pen, s'il vous plait.
1054
01:07:34,208 --> 01:07:36,833
-What's going on?
-We need to get through.
1055
01:07:37,000 --> 01:07:38,250
-Where?
-There.
1056
01:07:38,417 --> 01:07:40,500
-No, there.
-What are you talking about?
1057
01:07:40,750 --> 01:07:43,792
-We can't get into the compound.
-Too much security.
1058
01:07:43,958 --> 01:07:46,500
So we thought we'd go through the wall.
1059
01:07:46,750 --> 01:07:48,292
You're joking.
1060
01:07:48,542 --> 01:07:52,125
-It was all in the handout.
-That's it. Go for it.
1061
01:07:53,542 --> 01:07:56,292
Come on!
1062
01:07:59,167 --> 01:08:00,417
Hi.
1063
01:08:03,250 --> 01:08:05,750
-It's that wall after all.
-So I was right!
1064
01:08:12,125 --> 01:08:15,917
Excuse me, guys. Why didn't you
punch a hole in your own wall?
1065
01:08:16,167 --> 01:08:19,000
Are you nuts?
We wouldn't make a hole in our store.
1066
01:08:19,167 --> 01:08:20,958
Yeah, that makes sense.
1067
01:08:34,167 --> 01:08:37,083
-Can you at least keep an eye on Jesus?
-Sure.
1068
01:08:38,625 --> 01:08:42,917
Ladies and gentlemen,
please join me in welcoming Jörg Dwigs!
1069
01:08:47,750 --> 01:08:49,042
Thank you.
1070
01:08:49,750 --> 01:08:54,292
Dear friends, fellow citizens, patriots.
1071
01:08:55,167 --> 01:09:00,042
Today is the first day...
of the next 1,000 years.
1072
01:09:00,292 --> 01:09:02,750
What a dumb thing to say.
1073
01:09:03,000 --> 01:09:05,625
Tomorrow will also be the first day
of the next 1,000 years.
1074
01:09:05,792 --> 01:09:07,250
The day after tomorrow, too.
1075
01:09:07,500 --> 01:09:12,875
I from our neighboring European countries.
1076
01:09:13,042 --> 01:09:14,417
Who invited them?
1077
01:09:15,125 --> 01:09:18,625
Excuse me, buddy.
We're the Turkish delegates.
1078
01:09:18,875 --> 01:09:20,625
We're nationalists, too!
1079
01:09:20,875 --> 01:09:24,625
Suppress minorities,
lock up dissidents, deny genocide...
1080
01:09:24,875 --> 01:09:26,375
We do it as well as you do.
1081
01:09:26,625 --> 01:09:30,625
...those ladies and gentlemen
of the lying press.
1082
01:09:33,042 --> 01:09:35,708
Dear friends, here it is:
1083
01:09:36,250 --> 01:09:38,000
the Europatower!
1084
01:10:00,250 --> 01:10:02,917
Today we put an end to egalitarianism!
1085
01:10:04,250 --> 01:10:07,958
Knock, knock. Excuse me,
is that the new Holomaxx 30007
1086
01:10:08,708 --> 01:10:10,125
Yes.
1087
01:10:11,417 --> 01:10:15,333
Nationalism leads to hatred
and violence, say our enemies.
1088
01:10:15,500 --> 01:10:18,292
This accusation is completely unfounded.
1089
01:10:18,958 --> 01:10:22,167
-It's an awesome machine.
-Could you show me?
1090
01:10:22,417 --> 01:10:24,125
Yes, it's new for us, too.
1091
01:10:24,708 --> 01:10:29,292
We were going to work
with the HoloPlus 2.0, but...
1092
01:10:29,542 --> 01:10:31,500
...we have common enemies.
1093
01:10:31,667 --> 01:10:36,208
The Chinese, the Islamists, Brussels!
1094
01:10:37,500 --> 01:10:42,708
But we'll show them all
that international nationalism can work.
1095
01:10:42,958 --> 01:10:44,750
Here, let Kevin know.
1096
01:10:45,000 --> 01:10:47,500
That was not the plan.
1097
01:10:49,208 --> 01:10:53,708
I'm proud to be the leader
of this great movement.
1098
01:10:59,875 --> 01:11:02,083
And let me tell you something else.
1099
01:11:02,833 --> 01:11:07,375
You can be proud
to have me as your leader.
1100
01:11:07,542 --> 01:11:08,542
Go on. Start.
1101
01:11:09,292 --> 01:11:10,750
Have you heard?
1102
01:11:20,958 --> 01:11:22,667
...working men and women...
1103
01:11:22,917 --> 01:11:24,458
And with the split...
1104
01:11:26,750 --> 01:11:30,292
in the 61 divider
we were able to generate enough lumen.
1105
01:11:30,542 --> 01:11:32,458
Are you really interested?
1106
01:11:33,417 --> 01:11:34,500
Totally.
1107
01:11:34,750 --> 01:11:37,417
Jörg Dwigs will never lie to you.
1108
01:11:37,667 --> 01:11:41,750
He will lead you to victory!
Ladies and gentlemen!
1109
01:11:42,667 --> 01:11:44,000
Help! Let me out!
1110
01:11:44,167 --> 01:11:49,583
Before I hand over to the architect
of this symbol of our power...
1111
01:11:50,250 --> 01:11:53,875
let me say once again
that I am indeed glad
1112
01:11:54,042 --> 01:11:56,708
that we have overcome our differences...
1113
01:11:58,042 --> 01:12:02,000
so that we can serve
Western culture together.
1114
01:12:02,625 --> 01:12:04,917
Analogue, converted...
1115
01:12:10,000 --> 01:12:11,375
Oot scover.
1116
01:12:12,417 --> 01:12:13,708
Did I just say that?
1117
01:12:13,958 --> 01:12:18,833
...to introduce you to the architect
of the Europatower:
1118
01:12:19,000 --> 01:12:20,833
Albrecht Schuster!
1119
01:12:35,708 --> 01:12:38,583
Yes. I'm the architect.
1120
01:12:41,833 --> 01:12:43,125
I'm the architect.
1121
01:12:43,875 --> 01:12:47,583
And I'm very happy about your interest
and our... your...
1122
01:12:50,708 --> 01:12:52,167
I'm the architect.
1123
01:12:56,250 --> 01:12:58,208
-Hang on a minute.
-He lied to you.
1124
01:12:58,458 --> 01:13:01,792
-He fudged a soil report...
-Get that man off of there!
1125
01:13:02,042 --> 01:13:05,042
Berlin's soil is too sandy.
It will cost much more.
1126
01:13:05,292 --> 01:13:07,833
-Let the man speak!
-Give me the mic.
1127
01:13:08,083 --> 01:13:10,708
We want to hear what he has to say!
1128
01:13:13,125 --> 01:13:16,208
It will take longer to build
than the Cologne Cathedral!
1129
01:13:16,458 --> 01:13:19,375
The way Dwigs plans to build it,
it will collapse!
1130
01:13:19,625 --> 01:13:23,458
-Nothing will collapse.
-We'll see about that.
1131
01:13:23,625 --> 01:13:25,125
Stay calm, okay?
1132
01:13:28,458 --> 01:13:31,542
If we start running,
they'll be dumb enough to follow us.
1133
01:13:33,792 --> 01:13:36,708
Oh my God! Help! Help!
1134
01:13:36,958 --> 01:13:39,417
The tower is collapsing!
1135
01:13:58,625 --> 01:14:00,125
Jeanette!
1136
01:14:05,333 --> 01:14:06,833
Help!
1137
01:14:08,250 --> 01:14:10,000
What are you doing to me?
1138
01:14:10,167 --> 01:14:12,417
Help! Help!
1139
01:14:14,875 --> 01:14:16,292
Who's there?
1140
01:14:16,542 --> 01:14:18,375
Stop! What's happening?
1141
01:14:19,875 --> 01:14:22,167
I was in complete control
of the situation.
1142
01:14:22,833 --> 01:14:24,083
Yeah, sure.
1143
01:14:26,000 --> 01:14:27,000
Thanks.
1144
01:14:28,542 --> 01:14:29,792
What did you just say?
1145
01:14:31,208 --> 01:14:32,750
You heard me.
1146
01:14:38,792 --> 01:14:40,833
What an absolute disaster!
1147
01:14:42,750 --> 01:14:44,292
It was all for show.
1148
01:14:45,458 --> 01:14:48,083
If they had proof,
they'd have shown it.
1149
01:14:48,917 --> 01:14:50,208
It's all lies.
1150
01:14:51,208 --> 01:14:52,292
As usual.
1151
01:15:27,958 --> 01:15:30,708
This is another one
of those right moments.
1152
01:15:37,417 --> 01:15:38,667
Go on!
1153
01:15:50,042 --> 01:15:52,458
| think I've earned the right
to hear your rules.
1154
01:15:52,708 --> 01:15:53,833
I see.
1155
01:16:00,208 --> 01:16:01,875
First, no friends.
1156
01:16:03,292 --> 01:16:05,958
We're not friends. I hardly know you.
1157
01:16:06,208 --> 01:16:10,958
-I wouldn't say we're friends in any way.
-Second, no one without kids of his own.
1158
01:16:11,208 --> 01:16:13,333
I have a kangaroo.
That's just as good.
1159
01:16:20,667 --> 01:16:23,167
Third, no artists.
1160
01:16:23,417 --> 01:16:27,333
But I'm not really a proper artist.
I'm more of a...
1161
01:16:27,792 --> 01:16:31,750
-A hobby artist, right?
-Herta, this is a private conversation.
1162
01:16:32,000 --> 01:16:33,708
There's no such thing in my bar.
1163
01:16:39,667 --> 01:16:42,167
Four, no one from the same building.
1164
01:16:42,667 --> 01:16:44,167
Well, that sucks...
1165
01:16:47,042 --> 01:16:48,333
Guys, go inside.
1166
01:16:49,333 --> 01:16:51,208
I think rules are overrated.
1167
01:16:51,375 --> 01:16:53,458
They're not really rules.
1168
01:16:54,125 --> 01:16:56,958
They're more like temporary guidelines.
1169
01:16:57,583 --> 01:16:59,542
Do you wanna go out dancing?
1170
01:17:15,833 --> 01:17:18,000
Attention! Attention!
1171
01:17:19,625 --> 01:17:22,875
This is your last chance to give us...
1172
01:17:23,500 --> 01:17:26,167
-What was this about again?
-A rabbit's foot.
1173
01:17:26,333 --> 01:17:28,500
I feel ridiculous saying that.
1174
01:17:28,667 --> 01:17:30,083
Do it already!
1175
01:17:30,333 --> 01:17:33,708
This is your last chance to give us...
1176
01:17:33,958 --> 01:17:37,417
the rabbit's foot voluntarily.
1177
01:17:37,583 --> 01:17:40,458
You stole the rabbit's foot again?
Unbelievable.
1178
01:17:40,708 --> 01:17:42,750
I couldn't resist.
1179
01:17:43,000 --> 01:17:44,875
What are you waiting for?
1180
01:17:45,042 --> 01:17:47,125
Go get that damn lucky charm!
1181
01:17:47,292 --> 01:17:49,667
We'll give it back
and that's the end of it.
1182
01:17:49,833 --> 01:17:52,000
-No. Never!
-Give it to me.
1183
01:17:52,250 --> 01:17:53,375
Let go. Let go!
1184
01:17:57,292 --> 01:17:58,542
Check it out.
1185
01:17:58,792 --> 01:18:00,125
What is it?
1186
01:18:01,667 --> 01:18:04,750
If you ask me, it's evidence.
Keep them off my back!
1187
01:18:05,375 --> 01:18:07,375
Jesus, come, quick!
1188
01:18:10,833 --> 01:18:12,375
Oh, good Lord.
1189
01:18:15,667 --> 01:18:17,792
Dear patient...
1190
01:18:17,958 --> 01:18:19,833
Think of your migraine
1191
01:18:20,000 --> 01:18:24,042
as an annoying aunt,
who comes to visit every once in a while.
1192
01:18:24,208 --> 01:18:26,208
Close your eyes...
1193
01:18:34,250 --> 01:18:35,625
FILES ENCRYPTED
1194
01:18:38,583 --> 01:18:39,583
DECODING DATA...
1195
01:18:39,750 --> 01:18:41,917
-This will hurt.
-Yeah, this will hurt.
1196
01:18:42,083 --> 01:18:43,458
Oh, God.
1197
01:18:44,417 --> 01:18:46,125
Don't worry.
1198
01:18:54,542 --> 01:18:56,875
-Where's the rabbit's foot?
-Tell her!
1199
01:18:58,333 --> 01:19:01,167
You may think you're tough,
but I'm tougher!
1200
01:19:02,625 --> 01:19:03,625
DECODING DATA...
1201
01:19:03,875 --> 01:19:08,000
...your inner meadow
is like a mountain meadow...
1202
01:19:11,750 --> 01:19:13,458
-Awesome.
-Super special move.
1203
01:19:14,667 --> 01:19:18,875
-Okay, Otto, what do we do now?
-What any decent German would do.
1204
01:19:19,042 --> 01:19:21,458
Gotcha. We'll go out and beat them up.
1205
01:19:21,625 --> 01:19:23,458
No, we'll call the cops.
1206
01:19:27,542 --> 01:19:30,708
Welcome to Berlin's Police Service.
1207
01:19:32,292 --> 01:19:33,542
I don't bloody believe it.
1208
01:19:34,583 --> 01:19:39,000
If you have witnessed a murder,
please press one.
1209
01:19:39,250 --> 01:19:43,292
If you were murdered yourself,
please press two.
1210
01:19:43,542 --> 01:19:44,792
And off you go.
1211
01:19:49,583 --> 01:19:51,000
You? Here?
1212
01:19:51,167 --> 01:19:53,208
Well, I'll be a donkey's uncle!
1213
01:19:54,083 --> 01:19:57,208
If you have murdered someone,
please press three
1214
01:19:57,375 --> 01:20:00,083
and leave your confession after the tone.
1215
01:20:00,333 --> 01:20:02,500
This is a conversation.
And you're no party of it.
1216
01:20:03,708 --> 01:20:04,792
Get out, miss.
1217
01:20:04,958 --> 01:20:06,083
Are you nuts?
1218
01:20:06,250 --> 01:20:08,042
Take that, Lumpenproletariat!
1219
01:20:08,208 --> 01:20:12,250
You can't call them that. They're just
victims of their own circumstance.
1220
01:20:12,417 --> 01:20:13,417
Who isn't?
1221
01:20:13,583 --> 01:20:16,542
What's direct physical violence
of individuals
1222
01:20:16,792 --> 01:20:19,792
next to the omnipresent
structural violence of society?
1223
01:20:19,958 --> 01:20:21,250
Say good night, loser!
1224
01:20:22,625 --> 01:20:26,458
If your bicycle was stolen,
that's tough luck, I'm afraid.
1225
01:20:26,625 --> 01:20:27,958
I'll go and beat them up.
1226
01:20:28,125 --> 01:20:32,917
Please note that there may be
additional charges for cell phone calls.
1227
01:20:33,167 --> 01:20:35,583
A tiny bird...
1228
01:20:35,833 --> 01:20:39,333
suddenly lands on your belly.
1229
01:20:42,875 --> 01:20:44,792
Where's the rabbit's foot?
1230
01:20:45,417 --> 01:20:46,917
DECODING DATA... 100%
1231
01:20:50,792 --> 01:20:51,875
Okay, young man!
1232
01:20:54,292 --> 01:20:56,875
Bud Spencer's sledge hammer!
1233
01:20:57,500 --> 01:20:58,833
Jesus, come here.
1234
01:21:05,167 --> 01:21:08,125
Okay, guys.
Who has the rabbit's foot?
1235
01:21:08,708 --> 01:21:10,125
The rabbit's foot!
1236
01:21:12,042 --> 01:21:13,625
Just great.
1237
01:21:14,458 --> 01:21:17,875
Too late.
It's all been released to the press.
1238
01:21:19,792 --> 01:21:22,500
The sun is shining and warming you...
1239
01:21:26,500 --> 01:21:27,667
I love you.
1240
01:21:27,833 --> 01:21:30,958
-Move it, or else!
-We're an invincible pair.
1241
01:21:32,333 --> 01:21:35,208
You're screwed, Jörg. It's all out.
1242
01:21:36,750 --> 01:21:39,958
You're no longer acceptable
to the Party or to me.
1243
01:22:05,917 --> 01:22:07,292
Goodbye, rat hole!
1244
01:22:20,208 --> 01:22:22,167
Leave our house alone, asshole!
1245
01:22:22,417 --> 01:22:25,042
What the hell is that thing
doing on the digger?
1246
01:22:25,292 --> 01:22:27,542
Stop! Or I'll be really unpleasant!
1247
01:22:29,208 --> 01:22:30,458
Check it out!
1248
01:22:32,958 --> 01:22:35,708
-Stop swaying!
-Stop!
1249
01:22:36,375 --> 01:22:38,292
Are you out of your mind?
1250
01:22:39,500 --> 01:22:42,375
- I feel sick.
-Stop it, asshole!
1251
01:22:48,083 --> 01:22:50,542
That's it! Number three.
1252
01:23:04,458 --> 01:23:06,208
Hey, colleagues.
I'm an informer.
1253
01:23:06,375 --> 01:23:07,917
-You're what?
-An informer.
1254
01:23:08,083 --> 01:23:10,167
-Yeah, sure.
-Secret Police.
1255
01:23:10,333 --> 01:23:11,333
Stop.
1256
01:23:11,500 --> 01:23:15,667
-Why are you stopping the film?
-The baddies get arrested. That's boring.
1257
01:23:15,833 --> 01:23:18,333
-I'll fast-forward.
-No! Give me the remote.
1258
01:23:18,500 --> 01:23:19,875
-Let go!
-Press play!
1259
01:23:21,125 --> 01:23:24,125
Well, that went quite well, didn't it?
1260
01:23:27,583 --> 01:23:29,250
Never ever do that again.
1261
01:23:34,833 --> 01:23:36,333
Come here, sweetheart.
1262
01:23:53,500 --> 01:23:54,500
Yeah...
1263
01:24:01,250 --> 01:24:02,417
See you around.
1264
01:24:06,875 --> 01:24:09,167
"Yeah... See you around?"
1265
01:24:09,333 --> 01:24:11,292
-Yep.
-Seriously, dude?
1266
01:24:11,958 --> 01:24:13,625
That was your chance.
1267
01:24:13,792 --> 01:24:16,375
That would have been too cheesy. No way.
1268
01:24:16,542 --> 01:24:19,333
-Oh, dude. Cheesy?
-Yes. Next time.
1269
01:24:19,500 --> 01:24:21,167
What? Next time? Right.
1270
01:24:25,083 --> 01:24:28,625
Why did you jump
onto the shovel of that excavator?
1271
01:24:28,792 --> 01:24:30,375
I wanted to save the house.
1272
01:24:30,542 --> 01:24:33,500
-If you think about it...
-That's on my not-to-do list.
1273
01:24:33,667 --> 01:24:36,417
-You have to admit...
-That's also on my not-to-do list.
1274
01:24:36,583 --> 01:24:38,833
...that it was a pretty daring stunt.
1275
01:24:39,000 --> 01:24:40,625
You weren't worried, were you?
1276
01:24:40,792 --> 01:24:43,042
I've been nothing but worried
since I met you.
1277
01:24:43,208 --> 01:24:44,958
You were worried? About me?
1278
01:24:45,125 --> 01:24:49,083
I knew right away we'd be friends.
You were worried!
1279
01:24:49,250 --> 01:24:52,042
Yes, I may have been a little worried.
1280
01:24:52,208 --> 01:24:55,750
Totally unfounded. I was
in complete control of the situation.
1281
01:24:58,750 --> 01:25:02,792
-You were worried about me!
-Look, the sunrise is way too cheesy.
1282
01:25:02,958 --> 01:25:04,750
-That's a no-go.
-It's terrible!
1283
01:25:04,917 --> 01:25:06,167
Almost embarrassing.
1284
01:25:44,083 --> 01:25:48,458
I really don't know why I'm here.
I'm not the crazy victim of the system.
1285
01:25:48,625 --> 01:25:52,583
That's exactly what I mean.
You're totally inconsiderate.
1286
01:25:52,750 --> 01:25:57,292
I think we should talk openly about this
with a neutral referee.
1287
01:25:57,458 --> 01:26:00,417
I don't see how
he can be neutral if you pay him.
1288
01:26:00,667 --> 01:26:02,542
You're welcome to pay half.
1289
01:26:02,792 --> 01:26:04,958
-That would be even better.
-Well?
1290
01:26:05,458 --> 01:26:07,625
Mr. Hobby Artist.
1291
01:26:09,792 --> 01:26:14,958
Hello. I've put the kettle on for us,
if you don't mind.
1292
01:26:15,750 --> 01:26:19,500
Tell me, how is our kangaroo doing today?
1293
01:26:20,667 --> 01:26:22,542
Why don't you ask it yourself?
1294
01:26:25,250 --> 01:26:27,458
Ask the kangaroo how it is.
1295
01:26:28,917 --> 01:26:30,583
What kangaroo?
1296
01:26:30,750 --> 01:26:32,042
No, no, no!
1297
01:26:32,625 --> 01:26:35,708
I don't see any kangaroo,
I don't see any kangaroo...
1298
01:26:35,875 --> 01:26:39,292
-Yes, it's right there.
-There's no one there, Mr. Kling.
1299
01:26:40,292 --> 01:26:42,625
He needs a shrink even more than you do.
1300
01:26:42,792 --> 01:26:45,250
-What did you say?
- I didn't say anything.
1301
01:26:45,500 --> 01:26:46,833
Don't be ridiculous.
1302
01:26:47,000 --> 01:26:49,333
You know full well...
1303
01:26:51,125 --> 01:26:56,000
that this is a figment
of your imagination, this stupid kangaroo.
1304
01:28:30,375 --> 01:28:32,833
Following scandals about goon squads,
1305
01:28:33,000 --> 01:28:36,333
fudged reports and black monies
in off-shore accounts,
1306
01:28:36,500 --> 01:28:37,792
Our Homeland Inc.,
1307
01:28:37,958 --> 01:28:41,292
led by real estate magnate Jörg Dwigs,
got on a downward spiral
1308
01:28:41,458 --> 01:28:44,208
and was purchased
by an investor today.
1309
01:28:44,375 --> 01:28:48,667
The new owner assured all tenants
he would take care of all the problems.
1310
01:28:49,292 --> 01:28:52,208
We are joined by him today.
1311
01:31:45,542 --> 01:31:47,417
Awesome ending, really.
1312
01:31:47,792 --> 01:31:52,083
Yes, it would have been a good ending,
but you always make a comment.
1313
01:31:52,250 --> 01:31:54,375
You always have to have the last word.
1314
01:32:00,083 --> 01:32:01,417
No, [ don't
1315
01:32:01,583 --> 01:32:05,000
Subtitles:
Synchron- und Tonstudio Leipzig GmbH, 2020