WEBVTT FILE 1 00:00:02.000 --> 00:00:07.000 Downloaded from YTS.MX 2 00:00:07.160 --> 00:00:10.640 (ELECTRONIC MUSIC THEME) 3 00:00:08.000 --> 00:00:13.000 Official YIFY movies site: YTS.MX 4 00:00:14.320 --> 00:00:17.380 INTERVIEWER: This is the Dom And Adrian 2020 documentary, 5 00:00:17.480 --> 00:00:18.340 take one. 6 00:00:18.440 --> 00:00:19.940 And action! 7 00:00:20.040 --> 00:00:21.580 ADRIAN, V/O: The year is 2020, 8 00:00:21.680 --> 00:00:24.060 and while everyone we know is getting married, 9 00:00:24.160 --> 00:00:26.220 buying houses and having kids, 10 00:00:26.320 --> 00:00:27.460 my best friend Dom and I 11 00:00:27.560 --> 00:00:29.460 are actually doing something with our lives. 12 00:00:29.560 --> 00:00:32.020 And we have a documentary crew following our rise to fame 13 00:00:32.120 --> 00:00:33.540 as superstar USBJs. 14 00:00:33.640 --> 00:00:35.380 DOM, V/O: We were killing it until we'd signed on 15 00:00:35.480 --> 00:00:36.860 to play a drought-relief bush doof 16 00:00:36.960 --> 00:00:38.300 when the bushfires hit. 17 00:00:38.400 --> 00:00:40.660 (PEOPLE SCREAM) 18 00:00:40.760 --> 00:00:42.260 ADRIAN, V/O: Then we were booked to play 19 00:00:42.360 --> 00:00:45.340 a bushfire fundraiser when the floods came through. 20 00:00:45.440 --> 00:00:46.380 (MAN SCREAMS) 21 00:00:46.480 --> 00:00:47.900 DOM, V/O: And then we were gonna headline 22 00:00:48.000 --> 00:00:48.940 a flood relief dance party 23 00:00:49.040 --> 00:00:50.700 when the hailstorms fell. 24 00:00:50.800 --> 00:00:52.900 (SCREAMING) 25 00:00:53.000 --> 00:00:54.420 Oh, get fucked! 26 00:00:54.520 --> 00:00:56.420 And now all that dogshit's out of the way, 27 00:00:56.520 --> 00:00:58.980 we have booked our best gig yet - 28 00:00:59.080 --> 00:01:02.300 a panel-beating fundraiser at the North Bondi Bowling Club. 29 00:01:02.400 --> 00:01:04.540 Time to teach these basic Bondi driveway-hosing, 30 00:01:04.640 --> 00:01:07.520 lotto ticket-buying dickheads how to fucking party again. 31 00:01:08.840 --> 00:01:11.460 What the fuck is COVID-19? 32 00:01:11.560 --> 00:01:13.760 (THEME MUSIC) 33 00:01:21.080 --> 00:01:23.140 TV: ..97 additional cases of COVID-19... 34 00:01:23.240 --> 00:01:24.940 - Heavy. - Fucking hell. 35 00:01:25.040 --> 00:01:26.820 This is so surreal, Dom! 36 00:01:26.920 --> 00:01:30.300 You do realise this is going to wipe out 37 00:01:30.400 --> 00:01:34.220 thousands and thousands of our future gigs? 38 00:01:34.320 --> 00:01:36.860 Are you seriously worried about gigs right now? 39 00:01:36.960 --> 00:01:38.980 Do you not understand the severity of this? 40 00:01:39.080 --> 00:01:41.700 This will be the death of fashion labels 41 00:01:41.800 --> 00:01:43.460 and music festivals worldwide. 42 00:01:43.560 --> 00:01:44.220 Fuck. 43 00:01:44.320 --> 00:01:45.580 This is all about the mental battle. 44 00:01:45.680 --> 00:01:47.020 We've just got to stay positive. 45 00:01:47.120 --> 00:01:50.860 I am not moving in to any of my dad's places, OK? 46 00:01:50.960 --> 00:01:52.700 Brah, I will never leave Bondi. 47 00:01:52.800 --> 00:01:53.820 I am Dom from Bondi, 48 00:01:53.920 --> 00:01:56.380 my identity is tethered to this postcode. 49 00:01:56.480 --> 00:01:57.740 I've lived in Rose Bay once. 50 00:01:57.840 --> 00:01:59.100 That's gross. 51 00:01:59.200 --> 00:02:00.500 I'll never go through that again. 52 00:02:00.600 --> 00:02:01.580 Yeah, this is gonna be tough, 53 00:02:01.680 --> 00:02:03.740 but you know what else is tough? We are. 54 00:02:03.840 --> 00:02:05.420 When you graduated from Cranbrook 55 00:02:05.520 --> 00:02:06.740 with nothing but a trust fund 56 00:02:06.840 --> 00:02:08.100 and two apartments in Little Bay 57 00:02:08.200 --> 00:02:10.020 that your dad bought off the plan, did you give up? 58 00:02:10.120 --> 00:02:10.700 No. 59 00:02:10.800 --> 00:02:13.140 When you turned 30 and he cancelled your credit cards, 60 00:02:13.240 --> 00:02:14.700 did you cry about it? 61 00:02:14.800 --> 00:02:15.700 Yeah, but... 62 00:02:15.800 --> 00:02:17.580 ..only for like a fortnight. 63 00:02:17.680 --> 00:02:19.100 And where is your dickhead of a dad now? 64 00:02:19.200 --> 00:02:20.620 He's running Macquarie Bank. 65 00:02:20.720 --> 00:02:21.780 Exactly! Meanwhile you went on 66 00:02:21.880 --> 00:02:23.180 to start four failed fashion labels, 67 00:02:23.280 --> 00:02:25.980 promote seven nightclubs, collect 175 lanyards 68 00:02:26.080 --> 00:02:28.380 and pour the best goddamn three-quarter almond latte 69 00:02:28.480 --> 00:02:29.700 I've ever had in my life. 70 00:02:29.800 --> 00:02:32.300 - Goddamn, Dom, you're right! - Yeah, I'm right. 71 00:02:32.400 --> 00:02:34.980 All we need to do is pivot, create and evolve. 72 00:02:35.080 --> 00:02:37.980 We're stuck inside, but so is everybody else. 73 00:02:38.080 --> 00:02:40.060 And so we just thought we'd take advantage of that. 74 00:02:40.160 --> 00:02:41.980 So we're going to live stream our USBJ sets 75 00:02:42.080 --> 00:02:43.420 and take donations. 76 00:02:43.520 --> 00:02:45.980 But a percentage of profits go to charity. 77 00:02:46.080 --> 00:02:47.020 Oh, what charity? 78 00:02:47.120 --> 00:02:48.980 domandadrian.org 79 00:02:49.080 --> 00:02:50.500 And what percentage of profits? 80 00:02:50.600 --> 00:02:52.660 Roughly give or take, about, um... 81 00:02:52.760 --> 00:02:54.820 - ..100%. ADRIAN: Yeah, about that. 82 00:02:54.920 --> 00:02:56.540 But it's a really good cause. 83 00:02:56.640 --> 00:02:59.100 Those profits go into helping struggling Bondi locals 84 00:02:59.200 --> 00:03:01.200 pay their rent to stay in Bondi. 85 00:03:02.360 --> 00:03:06.480 (UPBEAT ELECTRONIC MUSIC) 86 00:03:07.800 --> 00:03:09.980 Hey, Becky! Hey, Angus! 87 00:03:10.080 --> 00:03:11.420 Hey, Dad, can you fuck off? 88 00:03:11.520 --> 00:03:13.700 It's bad enough that you came to all my dance recitals. 89 00:03:13.800 --> 00:03:15.940 I don't want your presence at my live-streamed Insta gigs, 90 00:03:16.040 --> 00:03:18.260 thank you very much, and bye! 91 00:03:18.360 --> 00:03:21.700 - Nose beers. - (SNIFFS) Woo! 92 00:03:21.800 --> 00:03:24.300 Hey, guys, what did you think of the gig? 93 00:03:24.400 --> 00:03:25.980 WOMAN 1: Yeah, fun. MAN 1: Well done, guys. 94 00:03:26.080 --> 00:03:27.860 WOMAN 2: Well done. MAN 2: Good stuff. 95 00:03:27.960 --> 00:03:28.980 Yeah, cool. 96 00:03:29.080 --> 00:03:31.180 Are you guys blowing out or what? 97 00:03:31.280 --> 00:03:34.020 We sold our Bondi place and bought in Thirroul, 98 00:03:34.120 --> 00:03:34.900 but it's a bit stressful 99 00:03:35.000 --> 00:03:36.620 with bridging finance and stuff. 100 00:03:36.720 --> 00:03:38.620 - Oh, yeah. - Sounds basic. 101 00:03:38.720 --> 00:03:40.820 We're at our investment property in Terrigal, 102 00:03:40.920 --> 00:03:42.380 we're home-schooling the kids... 103 00:03:42.480 --> 00:03:44.020 - Sounds brilliant. - ..working from home. 104 00:03:44.120 --> 00:03:46.140 MAN: We've had to put the wedding back, 105 00:03:46.240 --> 00:03:47.340 a bit nervous about having... 106 00:03:47.440 --> 00:03:48.820 Oh, my God. 107 00:03:48.920 --> 00:03:52.160 All that stability must be so fucking oppressive. 108 00:03:55.040 --> 00:03:57.460 Stoked we're not them. That'd suck. 109 00:03:57.560 --> 00:03:59.500 Yeah. 110 00:03:59.600 --> 00:04:03.320 Dom, are we... Are we getting too old for this? 111 00:04:04.480 --> 00:04:05.660 What? No, man. 112 00:04:05.760 --> 00:04:07.100 No, no. Fuck, man. 113 00:04:07.200 --> 00:04:09.660 My dad studied, like, ten years at medical school 114 00:04:09.760 --> 00:04:11.620 to become a doctor, and for what? 115 00:04:11.720 --> 00:04:12.660 You know? 116 00:04:12.760 --> 00:04:14.700 My whole life he's been saying, "Have a back-up plan, 117 00:04:14.800 --> 00:04:16.940 get some investments, get a real job." 118 00:04:17.040 --> 00:04:19.020 And none of that shit matters now, you know. 119 00:04:19.120 --> 00:04:19.900 This is like... 120 00:04:20.000 --> 00:04:21.540 ..ground zero. 121 00:04:21.640 --> 00:04:23.640 Oi, how are we gonna pay rent? 122 00:04:24.600 --> 00:04:27.300 Our sunglasses brand, Throwing Shades. 123 00:04:27.400 --> 00:04:28.140 Irrelevant. 124 00:04:28.240 --> 00:04:30.420 Our beach towel brand, Dry Hard. 125 00:04:30.520 --> 00:04:31.140 Irrelevant. 126 00:04:31.240 --> 00:04:33.940 Our Thai fusion food truck, Thai Hard. 127 00:04:34.040 --> 00:04:34.660 Irrelevant. 128 00:04:34.760 --> 00:04:36.820 Our Thai Aussie fusion food truck, 129 00:04:36.920 --> 00:04:38.380 Thai-me Kangaroo Down Sport. 130 00:04:38.480 --> 00:04:41.180 Super irrelevant. Rolf Harris is a pedo. Next. 131 00:04:41.280 --> 00:04:44.260 Our perpetually offended youth blog, triggrd.com. 132 00:04:44.360 --> 00:04:45.340 Fuck. Irrelevant. 133 00:04:45.440 --> 00:04:46.540 Really? 134 00:04:46.640 --> 00:04:48.500 People are still going to want content 135 00:04:48.600 --> 00:04:49.980 now more so than ever. 136 00:04:50.080 --> 00:04:51.260 Nobody's got the time and energy 137 00:04:51.360 --> 00:04:52.420 to be offended by identity politics 138 00:04:52.520 --> 00:04:54.620 when they're dealing with an actual fucking problem 139 00:04:54.720 --> 00:04:55.460 like a global pandemic. 140 00:04:55.560 --> 00:04:57.420 Dom, I fear you are grossly underestimating 141 00:04:57.520 --> 00:04:59.960 the collective hatred for straight white males. 142 00:05:01.080 --> 00:05:02.820 (DOORBELL DINGS) 143 00:05:02.920 --> 00:05:04.100 Thanks for coming down here, Debbie. 144 00:05:04.200 --> 00:05:06.660 What is it that couldn't be handled with a phone call? 145 00:05:06.760 --> 00:05:07.940 DOM, V/O: Fucking real estate agents. 146 00:05:08.040 --> 00:05:10.260 Name another industry where the client must eat the ass 147 00:05:10.360 --> 00:05:11.220 of the service provider? 148 00:05:11.320 --> 00:05:13.780 Seriously, Debbie's been jacking our rent up 149 00:05:13.880 --> 00:05:15.140 by $20 a month since 2004 150 00:05:15.240 --> 00:05:17.260 and now the market's finally collapsed 151 00:05:17.360 --> 00:05:19.380 so it is her who must eat our asses. 152 00:05:19.480 --> 00:05:20.820 - We want a rent freeze. - Please. 153 00:05:20.920 --> 00:05:21.780 The owner won't do that. 154 00:05:21.880 --> 00:05:24.060 But they got the mortgage freeze, so... 155 00:05:24.160 --> 00:05:25.060 They don't have a mortgage. 156 00:05:25.160 --> 00:05:27.340 Well, then, they can pass the savings down to tenants. 157 00:05:27.440 --> 00:05:28.180 They live off the rent, 158 00:05:28.280 --> 00:05:30.020 and the rent of their many other properties 159 00:05:30.120 --> 00:05:32.140 so if you're struggling with paying the lease, 160 00:05:32.240 --> 00:05:34.140 then you should just access your own super. 161 00:05:34.240 --> 00:05:34.980 Access my... 162 00:05:35.080 --> 00:05:36.860 Debbie, I'm a fucking freelancer, 163 00:05:36.960 --> 00:05:39.340 I've never had a steady job, never paid a cent of super, 164 00:05:39.440 --> 00:05:41.180 and quite frankly never expected to live past 33 165 00:05:41.280 --> 00:05:42.780 so who's got the power now? 166 00:05:42.880 --> 00:05:44.880 Still me. 167 00:05:45.240 --> 00:05:45.900 How come? 168 00:05:46.000 --> 00:05:47.620 Because I'm a fucking real estate agent. 169 00:05:47.720 --> 00:05:48.980 - Sorry, Debbie. - Sorry, Debbie. 170 00:05:49.080 --> 00:05:51.080 So find the money. 171 00:05:52.120 --> 00:05:54.060 (SIGHS) Tax debt. 172 00:05:54.160 --> 00:05:56.160 Parking fines. 173 00:05:58.120 --> 00:05:59.300 Mobile upgrade. 174 00:05:59.400 --> 00:06:02.020 6G is here! 175 00:06:02.120 --> 00:06:05.340 Being a grown-up sucks, man. It's just endless admin! 176 00:06:05.440 --> 00:06:07.220 No-one prepares you for this shit! 177 00:06:07.320 --> 00:06:10.560 Don't worry, Dom. It's just a warning. She can't evict us. 178 00:06:13.680 --> 00:06:15.340 (RINGTONE) 179 00:06:15.440 --> 00:06:17.420 Hey, um, Dad. 180 00:06:17.520 --> 00:06:19.500 You know how you always used to tell me 181 00:06:19.600 --> 00:06:21.580 I should get a real job and some mortgages, 182 00:06:21.680 --> 00:06:22.820 and investments and shit? 183 00:06:22.920 --> 00:06:24.060 DAD: So you got a real job? 184 00:06:24.160 --> 00:06:26.500 No, no. I just don't suppose you wanna take back 185 00:06:26.600 --> 00:06:27.940 any of that shitty life advice 186 00:06:28.040 --> 00:06:29.900 now that capitalism is on the verge of collapse? 187 00:06:30.000 --> 00:06:31.300 You need money. How much this time? 188 00:06:31.400 --> 00:06:33.180 ADRIAN: No, I don't. 189 00:06:33.280 --> 00:06:35.420 I am doing just f- 190 00:06:35.520 --> 00:06:36.860 Where are you? 191 00:06:36.960 --> 00:06:38.060 I know you're not at home 192 00:06:38.160 --> 00:06:39.700 because there's not a single angle 193 00:06:39.800 --> 00:06:42.700 that isn't a spectacular 360-degree view of the Harbour. 194 00:06:42.800 --> 00:06:44.540 I'm fine. Don't worry about me. 195 00:06:44.640 --> 00:06:45.980 Are you at the Palm Beach house? 196 00:06:46.080 --> 00:06:47.140 No. Listen. 197 00:06:47.240 --> 00:06:48.580 Are you at the other, other house? 198 00:06:48.680 --> 00:06:49.380 No. Adrian... 199 00:06:49.480 --> 00:06:51.780 - Are you at the alpaca farm? - I'm in a bunker, Adrian. 200 00:06:51.880 --> 00:06:53.700 What? In a bunker? 201 00:06:53.800 --> 00:06:56.620 - With who? - Colleagues, friends. 202 00:06:56.720 --> 00:06:58.300 Look, I've had to pull a few strings, 203 00:06:58.400 --> 00:06:59.900 but there's a spot here for you. 204 00:07:00.000 --> 00:07:01.580 You don't have to go through this on your own. 205 00:07:01.680 --> 00:07:03.780 No, I'm not on my own. I'm with Dom. 206 00:07:03.880 --> 00:07:04.940 He can't come. 207 00:07:05.040 --> 00:07:05.820 Cool, good chat. See you, Dad! 208 00:07:05.920 --> 00:07:07.980 OK, look, I'll transfer some money. 209 00:07:08.080 --> 00:07:09.540 Dad, I'm 33 years old. 210 00:07:09.640 --> 00:07:12.700 I do not need your money, thank you very much. 211 00:07:12.800 --> 00:07:13.940 DAD: You're 37. 212 00:07:14.040 --> 00:07:15.140 OK, bye. 213 00:07:15.240 --> 00:07:17.240 Fucking hell. 214 00:07:18.200 --> 00:07:20.540 Yeah, we have no work, we have no money, 215 00:07:20.640 --> 00:07:23.220 and we have no idea how to survive. 216 00:07:23.320 --> 00:07:24.580 But... 217 00:07:24.680 --> 00:07:27.060 You know, in and amongst all of this, 218 00:07:27.160 --> 00:07:27.940 at least we have... 219 00:07:28.040 --> 00:07:29.740 - ..each other. - ..the internet. 220 00:07:29.840 --> 00:07:32.420 Like, imagine going through the Spanish flu 221 00:07:32.520 --> 00:07:34.300 or the Black Plague or whatever with no internet, 222 00:07:34.400 --> 00:07:35.660 like that would have been hectic. 223 00:07:35.760 --> 00:07:38.240 (PLAYS GUITAR TUNE) 224 00:07:42.760 --> 00:07:43.820 Hey, Dom, 225 00:07:43.920 --> 00:07:46.700 I was thinking to help people get through this 226 00:07:46.800 --> 00:07:49.140 maybe we could create some lockdown content together. 227 00:07:49.240 --> 00:07:50.380 Oh, cool. Content. 228 00:07:50.480 --> 00:07:53.100 OK, yeah, here's an idea for some content. 229 00:07:53.200 --> 00:07:55.700 (SINGS)♪ I'd rather kill myself 230 00:07:55.800 --> 00:07:58.100 ♪ Than create lockdown content. ♪ 231 00:07:58.200 --> 00:07:59.940 Great, but don't you think it's important 232 00:08:00.040 --> 00:08:01.460 that artists share their stories? 233 00:08:01.560 --> 00:08:02.860 No-one gives a shit about artists, 234 00:08:02.960 --> 00:08:04.820 especially not in the middle of a global pandemic. 235 00:08:04.920 --> 00:08:08.020 Artists are the white blood cells of our culture, Dom. 236 00:08:08.120 --> 00:08:08.900 Yeah, they used to be. 237 00:08:09.000 --> 00:08:10.620 Right now they're scared celebrities posting shit 238 00:08:10.720 --> 00:08:12.260 they normally wouldn't 'cause they're afraid 239 00:08:12.360 --> 00:08:13.460 of being irrelevant. I get it, man. 240 00:08:13.560 --> 00:08:15.580 Oh, my God, Dom. You're such a Muggle. 241 00:08:15.680 --> 00:08:18.180 Don't you join Ricky fucking Gervais in crucifying artists 242 00:08:18.280 --> 00:08:19.860 for being nice and trying to help. 243 00:08:19.960 --> 00:08:22.340 Do you not realise the irony of a celebrity using his platform 244 00:08:22.440 --> 00:08:25.020 to give celebrities advice on how not to use their platform 245 00:08:25.120 --> 00:08:25.860 to give advice? 246 00:08:25.960 --> 00:08:28.500 Those rich cunts have no idea what hardship is. 247 00:08:28.600 --> 00:08:30.860 OK, Dom, celebrities are just trying to help! 248 00:08:30.960 --> 00:08:33.740 Help who, man? Certainly not their PR people and stylists 249 00:08:33.840 --> 00:08:35.940 who put decades into making them look like 250 00:08:36.040 --> 00:08:37.380 magical fucking unicorns 251 00:08:37.480 --> 00:08:39.540 only to hold iPhones inches from their face 252 00:08:39.640 --> 00:08:41.380 and show us that they too have nose hairs 253 00:08:41.480 --> 00:08:42.740 and eye bags and blemishes. 254 00:08:42.840 --> 00:08:45.260 The entertainment industry will never come back from this. 255 00:08:45.360 --> 00:08:47.780 You know, I'd actually rather be on a fucking respirator 256 00:08:47.880 --> 00:08:50.260 than create pathetic, desperate, opportunistic 257 00:08:50.360 --> 00:08:51.620 lockdown content! 258 00:08:51.720 --> 00:08:52.940 (DOOR SLAMS) 259 00:08:53.040 --> 00:08:56.820 Um, I don't want to, like, step on any toes or anything, 260 00:08:56.920 --> 00:08:59.380 but have you ever thought about making content on your own? 261 00:08:59.480 --> 00:09:02.540 I had an idea to start my own YouTube channel 262 00:09:02.640 --> 00:09:04.980 where I share simple, organic, earthy recipes 263 00:09:05.080 --> 00:09:08.080 because fuck Dom, I'll show that beardy cunt what's up. 264 00:09:09.760 --> 00:09:11.700 Jesus Christ, that was a bit fucking heavy. 265 00:09:11.800 --> 00:09:14.340 I'm right here. 266 00:09:14.440 --> 00:09:18.300 Welcome to the first episode of Cooked With Aids. 267 00:09:18.400 --> 00:09:20.260 A good cake is like a good friendship. 268 00:09:20.360 --> 00:09:23.340 It may not look exactly like what you had in your head, 269 00:09:23.440 --> 00:09:25.740 but it's all about the ingredients. 270 00:09:25.840 --> 00:09:28.320 So um, let's go! 271 00:09:29.680 --> 00:09:30.700 OK... 272 00:09:30.800 --> 00:09:34.340 (LAUGHS) That is absolutely perfect. 273 00:09:34.440 --> 00:09:36.340 Oh, fuck my brain! 274 00:09:36.440 --> 00:09:38.140 I just stepped in the fucking cake! 275 00:09:38.240 --> 00:09:40.740 OK, well, 276 00:09:40.840 --> 00:09:43.780 sometimes things don't really go as planned. 277 00:09:43.880 --> 00:09:46.220 But if you've put in the ground work, 278 00:09:46.320 --> 00:09:48.420 and laid a solid base, 279 00:09:48.520 --> 00:09:49.940 the flavour will still be there. 280 00:09:50.040 --> 00:09:53.500 And the cake will sate 281 00:09:53.600 --> 00:09:55.600 what you crave. 282 00:09:58.400 --> 00:10:00.460 (GAGS) 283 00:10:00.560 --> 00:10:02.560 (GAGS) 284 00:10:02.920 --> 00:10:04.220 Fuck work! 285 00:10:04.320 --> 00:10:07.660 Look, why be busy for busy's sake? 286 00:10:07.760 --> 00:10:12.460 You know, I'm going to use this opportunity to earth myself, 287 00:10:12.560 --> 00:10:14.020 to take a step back, 288 00:10:14.120 --> 00:10:15.460 become more grounded. 289 00:10:15.560 --> 00:10:19.060 Mm. And I see you've stopped wearing shoes. 290 00:10:19.160 --> 00:10:20.500 Oh, these old things? 291 00:10:20.600 --> 00:10:22.700 Yeah. Well, besides grounding me, 292 00:10:22.800 --> 00:10:25.020 my feet are actually my best feature. 293 00:10:25.120 --> 00:10:27.500 And I installed a rainwater tank. 294 00:10:27.600 --> 00:10:30.980 You know, they talk a lot about toxic masculinity, 295 00:10:31.080 --> 00:10:35.060 and, you know, the act of hunting water from the sky 296 00:10:35.160 --> 00:10:36.620 without consent. 297 00:10:36.720 --> 00:10:38.460 It's masculine, but it's alkaline. 298 00:10:38.560 --> 00:10:40.380 It's like an alkaline masculinity. 299 00:10:40.480 --> 00:10:42.460 And I installed a veggie patch. 300 00:10:42.560 --> 00:10:43.940 Look, farming's easy. 301 00:10:44.040 --> 00:10:47.180 Anyone can do it. Exhibit Adrian. 302 00:10:47.280 --> 00:10:50.820 Why would you start a farm in somewhere like Dubbo 303 00:10:50.920 --> 00:10:53.860 or Tamworth that gets no rain? 304 00:10:53.960 --> 00:10:55.140 Why wouldn't you set up a farm 305 00:10:55.240 --> 00:10:56.860 in a place that gets heaps of rain 306 00:10:56.960 --> 00:10:57.980 and has ideal weather? 307 00:10:58.080 --> 00:11:00.580 I don't mean to tell farmers how to suck eggs 308 00:11:00.680 --> 00:11:02.680 but like, there is a way to suck an egg. 309 00:11:04.240 --> 00:11:06.340 This is farming, OK? 310 00:11:06.440 --> 00:11:07.420 Bang! 311 00:11:07.520 --> 00:11:09.700 It's not fucking rocket science, you know what I mean? 312 00:11:09.800 --> 00:11:13.180 I know we millennials, we get like a bad rap 313 00:11:13.280 --> 00:11:14.780 for being wishy-washy or whatever... 314 00:11:14.880 --> 00:11:16.500 Yeah, but it's true, Dom! 315 00:11:16.600 --> 00:11:20.540 Us millennials are so obsessed by, like, wealth and success 316 00:11:20.640 --> 00:11:23.020 and relevancy and legacy, 317 00:11:23.120 --> 00:11:25.660 it's just... it's all fucking bullshit! 318 00:11:25.760 --> 00:11:28.460 But that's not bullshit, those are things you actually need 319 00:11:28.560 --> 00:11:29.740 to survive within this world. 320 00:11:29.840 --> 00:11:31.700 Probably not worth arguing about anyway 321 00:11:31.800 --> 00:11:34.740 'cause technically you guys aren't really millennials, 322 00:11:34.840 --> 00:11:36.340 you're more, like, gen Xers. 323 00:11:36.440 --> 00:11:38.020 You don't know how old I am, Gerry. 324 00:11:38.120 --> 00:11:40.540 GERRY: Well, it says on your Facebook profile. 325 00:11:40.640 --> 00:11:42.260 Maybe I lied. 326 00:11:42.360 --> 00:11:44.620 I don't want the Chinese people getting our data. 327 00:11:44.720 --> 00:11:46.220 Right. Well, what's more likely? 328 00:11:46.320 --> 00:11:47.780 You lied on your Facebook or your Tinder? 329 00:11:47.880 --> 00:11:50.780 Wait, you've seen my Tinder and you didn't swipe right? 330 00:11:50.880 --> 00:11:53.420 You must be strong of will, Gerry. 331 00:11:53.520 --> 00:11:55.520 And you are too old for Tinder. 332 00:12:03.880 --> 00:12:06.460 You know, if you cut back on those ciggies, 333 00:12:06.560 --> 00:12:08.060 beer and processed meats, 334 00:12:08.160 --> 00:12:11.380 it'd probably help get rid of your beard dandruff. 335 00:12:11.480 --> 00:12:13.100 It's not dandruff, it's dried egg. 336 00:12:13.200 --> 00:12:15.100 (DOORBELL DINGS) 337 00:12:15.200 --> 00:12:16.900 Um, hello? 338 00:12:17.000 --> 00:12:18.740 Delivery for Adrian Archer 339 00:12:18.840 --> 00:12:20.740 from The Right Worshipful Master Mason, 340 00:12:20.840 --> 00:12:23.860 Brother of 13 Bloodlines, Steward and Swordbearer, 341 00:12:23.960 --> 00:12:26.460 Angus Archer - Grand Director of Ceremonies. 342 00:12:26.560 --> 00:12:28.560 Yeah. 343 00:12:31.360 --> 00:12:34.000 Er, do you want me to sign for this or...? 344 00:12:35.600 --> 00:12:37.600 OK. 345 00:12:39.280 --> 00:12:41.400 (EERIE MUSIC) 346 00:12:54.280 --> 00:12:57.680 (SPOOKY VOICE ECHOES) 347 00:12:59.800 --> 00:13:00.780 (MUSIC STOPS) 348 00:13:00.880 --> 00:13:03.060 What's your choice of apocalypse vehicle gonna be? 349 00:13:03.160 --> 00:13:07.580 Um, like... like a light plane. Like a Cessna vibe... 350 00:13:07.680 --> 00:13:10.340 Dead. You'll get shot out of the sky immediately. 351 00:13:10.440 --> 00:13:11.860 (SIGHS) What about a boat? 352 00:13:11.960 --> 00:13:13.620 Nice idea, Gerry. 353 00:13:13.720 --> 00:13:16.020 Yeah, I suppose you could go down to Rose Bay wharf, 354 00:13:16.120 --> 00:13:18.500 and cave some banker's head in with a lug wrench. 355 00:13:18.600 --> 00:13:20.300 You'd probably get out of Sydney Harbour 356 00:13:20.400 --> 00:13:21.980 but what happens when the first storm hits? 357 00:13:22.080 --> 00:13:23.540 - Dead. - I wasn't... 358 00:13:23.640 --> 00:13:25.780 Alright, here it is - scooter. 359 00:13:25.880 --> 00:13:27.940 Quiet, light, fuel-efficient. 360 00:13:28.040 --> 00:13:30.620 20 litres will get you to Cairns and back. 361 00:13:30.720 --> 00:13:33.140 The only negative about a scooter 362 00:13:33.240 --> 00:13:35.940 is that it's very much like a solo thing 363 00:13:36.040 --> 00:13:38.540 and I would have figured that we would have tackled 364 00:13:38.640 --> 00:13:40.540 the apocalypse together, that's all. 365 00:13:40.640 --> 00:13:43.740 End of the world, brah, it's every man for himself. 366 00:13:43.840 --> 00:13:46.140 It doesn't have to be. 367 00:13:46.240 --> 00:13:47.820 I always thought that garages 368 00:13:47.920 --> 00:13:50.020 were a place where depressed dads 369 00:13:50.120 --> 00:13:52.020 could come and imagine how good life would be 370 00:13:52.120 --> 00:13:53.380 if they didn't have a family, 371 00:13:53.480 --> 00:13:55.340 and like, instead of taking a 45-minute shit, 372 00:13:55.440 --> 00:13:57.020 they can come to a garage for 3.5 hours. 373 00:13:57.120 --> 00:14:00.500 Since I've been tinkering in a garage myself, 374 00:14:00.600 --> 00:14:02.660 I'm developing real-world skills. 375 00:14:02.760 --> 00:14:05.180 And I'm creating something meaningful. 376 00:14:05.280 --> 00:14:06.100 Fuck it! 377 00:14:06.200 --> 00:14:07.260 Something real. 378 00:14:07.360 --> 00:14:09.180 So while you've been wasting all day in the garage, 379 00:14:09.280 --> 00:14:11.820 the Dominator's had a few light-bulb moments. 380 00:14:11.920 --> 00:14:14.660 Introducing the world's first cryptocurrency 381 00:14:14.760 --> 00:14:16.380 for drug dealers - Litcoin. 382 00:14:16.480 --> 00:14:18.660 ADRIAN: Meaningless. 383 00:14:18.760 --> 00:14:21.380 Introducing a high-testosterone, living beverage 384 00:14:21.480 --> 00:14:22.860 fermented in a mushroom of my own cum - 385 00:14:22.960 --> 00:14:24.580 Cumbucha. 386 00:14:24.680 --> 00:14:26.180 Yuck. 387 00:14:26.280 --> 00:14:28.500 An ethical, sustainable, roof-farmed, 388 00:14:28.600 --> 00:14:30.900 drinkable water brand called Bondi Rain. 389 00:14:31.000 --> 00:14:32.620 Who's going to pay for something 390 00:14:32.720 --> 00:14:34.660 that they can get for free from a tap? 391 00:14:34.760 --> 00:14:36.020 Oh, yeah, that's full of fluoride, 392 00:14:36.120 --> 00:14:37.180 blocking their third eyes, 393 00:14:37.280 --> 00:14:39.260 calcifying their pineal glands. 394 00:14:39.360 --> 00:14:41.340 Look, Dom has been known 395 00:14:41.440 --> 00:14:44.180 to fall for the occasional conspiracy theory. 396 00:14:44.280 --> 00:14:45.740 If 5G causes COVID, 397 00:14:45.840 --> 00:14:48.060 then my phone causes COVID. 398 00:14:48.160 --> 00:14:49.780 But my phone is always on my person, 399 00:14:49.880 --> 00:14:51.180 so how can I escape the COVID? 400 00:14:51.280 --> 00:14:53.940 Fuck, Dom, 5G is just another G. 401 00:14:54.040 --> 00:14:57.460 It's like 3G or 4G, it's harmless. 402 00:14:57.560 --> 00:14:59.060 Oh, right. Cool, yeah. 403 00:14:59.160 --> 00:15:02.260 If it's so harmless, then why can my phone do this? 404 00:15:02.360 --> 00:15:04.360 (ELECTRICAL BUZZ) 405 00:15:09.960 --> 00:15:11.940 (ELECTRICAL BUZZ) 406 00:15:12.040 --> 00:15:14.260 These are all normal phone things, Dom. 407 00:15:14.360 --> 00:15:16.500 Heaps normal. 408 00:15:16.600 --> 00:15:17.260 (CRASH) 409 00:15:17.360 --> 00:15:19.500 ADRIAN: If you think 2020's been hard for you, 410 00:15:19.600 --> 00:15:23.060 spare a thought for conspiracy theorists. 411 00:15:23.160 --> 00:15:24.900 (CLATTER) 412 00:15:25.000 --> 00:15:28.340 Every single conspiracy that every single neckbeard 413 00:15:28.440 --> 00:15:31.420 feared was going to happen is currently happening. 414 00:15:31.520 --> 00:15:32.580 It's all part of the plandemic. 415 00:15:32.680 --> 00:15:34.300 It's Bill Gates, it's George Soros, 416 00:15:34.400 --> 00:15:35.820 it's the 5G, it's the towers. 417 00:15:35.920 --> 00:15:37.180 It's mass surveillance! 418 00:15:37.280 --> 00:15:39.140 You know, there's a new camera popping up every five minutes. 419 00:15:39.240 --> 00:15:41.060 Have you seen the new camera up at Bondi? 420 00:15:41.160 --> 00:15:43.020 There's a new camera at the Grassy Knoll, 421 00:15:43.120 --> 00:15:44.140 there's one down at Clovelly. 422 00:15:44.240 --> 00:15:46.060 There's... I mean, there's a camera right there. 423 00:15:46.160 --> 00:15:48.160 - Right there. - Where? 424 00:15:48.680 --> 00:15:50.260 Are you fucking serious, Dom? 425 00:15:50.360 --> 00:15:52.340 That's the documentary camera. 426 00:15:52.440 --> 00:15:56.340 2020 is like the Voltron of conspiracy theories, 427 00:15:56.440 --> 00:15:59.820 like one giant mega bot of conspiracies. 428 00:15:59.920 --> 00:16:01.860 Yeah, cool. Can you stop saying 'theories', 429 00:16:01.960 --> 00:16:03.500 'cause they're not conspiracy theories, 430 00:16:03.600 --> 00:16:04.660 they're conspiracy facts. 431 00:16:04.760 --> 00:16:05.420 Oh, my God. 432 00:16:05.520 --> 00:16:07.020 Come on, man, you're smarter than that. 433 00:16:07.120 --> 00:16:08.980 That's just what they want you to think. 434 00:16:09.080 --> 00:16:11.080 Who are 'they', Dom?! 435 00:16:11.680 --> 00:16:12.900 New World Order. 436 00:16:13.000 --> 00:16:14.740 Shadow government. 437 00:16:14.840 --> 00:16:16.060 (WHISPERS) Illuminati. 438 00:16:16.160 --> 00:16:19.420 OK, Dom, can we please just stop this nonsense now? 439 00:16:19.520 --> 00:16:21.020 You have gone way too far. 440 00:16:21.120 --> 00:16:23.180 I'm not saying that business people 441 00:16:23.280 --> 00:16:24.820 don't congregate and legislate, 442 00:16:24.920 --> 00:16:26.540 but it's not the goat-killing, 443 00:16:26.640 --> 00:16:29.220 secret baby-eating Satanic ritual you think it is. 444 00:16:29.320 --> 00:16:32.100 The reality is you have to find truth within. 445 00:16:32.200 --> 00:16:33.260 And if you can't find it there, 446 00:16:33.360 --> 00:16:36.300 you at least have to find it in something that's real - 447 00:16:36.400 --> 00:16:38.880 science and medicine. 448 00:16:47.760 --> 00:16:51.940 By God's good grace I execute judgement on you. 449 00:16:52.040 --> 00:16:55.060 COVID-19, I command you - 450 00:16:55.160 --> 00:16:59.260 leave God's good Earth and return to the pits of hell 451 00:16:59.360 --> 00:17:01.360 from which you came! 452 00:17:06.520 --> 00:17:09.020 Anyone for some Bondi kingie? 453 00:17:09.120 --> 00:17:10.140 Brother Adrian, 454 00:17:10.240 --> 00:17:12.380 have you let Jesus into your heart? 455 00:17:12.480 --> 00:17:14.020 Fuck no. No. 456 00:17:14.120 --> 00:17:16.420 What? I am good. 457 00:17:16.520 --> 00:17:19.860 Oh, well, fun fact - it turns out that only God is good. 458 00:17:19.960 --> 00:17:23.140 If God was so good, why is God's logo 459 00:17:23.240 --> 00:17:25.740 for his religion a dead guy? 460 00:17:25.840 --> 00:17:27.020 Yeah, that's Jesus. 461 00:17:27.120 --> 00:17:28.740 He's the son of God. Um... 462 00:17:28.840 --> 00:17:31.340 The way I think about it is Jesus is love. 463 00:17:31.440 --> 00:17:32.540 Do you believe that? 464 00:17:32.640 --> 00:17:34.540 Well, I mean, you don't have to believe it all. 465 00:17:34.640 --> 00:17:36.380 You just take on the bits that make sense to you. 466 00:17:36.480 --> 00:17:37.620 I find some comfort in the fact 467 00:17:37.720 --> 00:17:39.340 that all the shit that's happened this year - 468 00:17:39.440 --> 00:17:40.780 the floods, the hail, the pandemic, 469 00:17:40.880 --> 00:17:42.340 it's all part of God's plan. 470 00:17:42.440 --> 00:17:45.540 There's no plan, you know. 471 00:17:45.640 --> 00:17:48.500 Like God... Like, God doesn't exist. 472 00:17:48.600 --> 00:17:49.620 Fuck no, it's alright, 473 00:17:49.720 --> 00:17:53.660 look, God does not exist, God is, say, existence. 474 00:17:53.760 --> 00:17:55.620 And he's sure as shit 475 00:17:55.720 --> 00:17:58.140 not some beardy white cunt in the sky 476 00:17:58.240 --> 00:17:59.500 like, meddling with our lives. 477 00:17:59.600 --> 00:18:01.620 You know, he's got bigger fish to fry. 478 00:18:01.720 --> 00:18:05.060 I think it's dope that you're, like, searching for the truth 479 00:18:05.160 --> 00:18:07.060 and that, Dom, 480 00:18:07.160 --> 00:18:11.540 but why not try and find it in someone... real, you know. 481 00:18:11.640 --> 00:18:14.180 I could teach you how to fish, you know. 482 00:18:14.280 --> 00:18:16.620 (MELANCHOLIC MUSIC PLAYS) 483 00:18:16.720 --> 00:18:18.740 God, if you're not real, 484 00:18:18.840 --> 00:18:20.820 at least show me a sign, you know, 485 00:18:20.920 --> 00:18:21.940 show me someone real. 486 00:18:22.040 --> 00:18:23.900 TRUMP, ON TV: ..see the disinfectant 487 00:18:24.000 --> 00:18:26.340 that knocks it out in a minute. 488 00:18:26.440 --> 00:18:28.620 That was a miracle! Did you see that? 489 00:18:28.720 --> 00:18:31.660 TRUMP:..injection in, say... - That was a coincidence, Dom. 490 00:18:31.760 --> 00:18:34.420 Could you... Quiet, brah, my new teacher is speaking. 491 00:18:34.520 --> 00:18:36.340 TRUMP: And then I see the disinfectant 492 00:18:36.440 --> 00:18:40.000 that knocks it out in a minute... 493 00:18:44.280 --> 00:18:46.280 (DOORBELL DINGS) 494 00:18:48.320 --> 00:18:50.460 What is it that couldn't be handled with a phone call? 495 00:18:50.560 --> 00:18:52.560 Your eviction notice. 496 00:18:54.600 --> 00:18:56.600 Cool. That's- 497 00:18:57.720 --> 00:18:59.460 Dom is losing his grip on reality. 498 00:18:59.560 --> 00:19:03.740 And it's my duty as his best and only friend to help him. 499 00:19:03.840 --> 00:19:06.260 With these portable storage units, 500 00:19:06.360 --> 00:19:09.220 how much air is in each storage unit? 501 00:19:09.320 --> 00:19:11.260 Yeah, as in oxygen, yeah. 502 00:19:11.360 --> 00:19:13.660 Like, I don't know, could a person live in there? 503 00:19:13.760 --> 00:19:15.220 No, no, not like an actual person. 504 00:19:15.320 --> 00:19:17.420 More like a person-sized monkey or whatever. 505 00:19:17.520 --> 00:19:18.780 No animals. Got it. 506 00:19:18.880 --> 00:19:20.580 Yeah. Oh, have you got wi-fi? 507 00:19:20.680 --> 00:19:22.580 Yeah, I was just wondering if you've got like an area 508 00:19:22.680 --> 00:19:25.220 that's good for people who are recently homeless, 509 00:19:25.320 --> 00:19:26.660 like not full-on homeless, 510 00:19:26.760 --> 00:19:28.500 like semi away from all the other homeless people. 511 00:19:28.600 --> 00:19:30.540 I don't know, in my head I see like a private room 512 00:19:30.640 --> 00:19:33.060 in a hostel full of homeless people. 513 00:19:33.160 --> 00:19:35.160 Is breakfast included? 514 00:19:40.440 --> 00:19:42.220 Dom? 515 00:19:42.320 --> 00:19:44.020 Where are you going, Dom? 516 00:19:44.120 --> 00:19:46.580 Yes, Dom, you finally get it! 517 00:19:46.680 --> 00:19:49.140 You don't need your material possessions. 518 00:19:49.240 --> 00:19:50.860 Just shed yourself of- 519 00:19:50.960 --> 00:19:53.300 I'm not throwing my shit out, I'm moving out. 520 00:19:53.400 --> 00:19:54.860 ADRIAN: Where? 521 00:19:54.960 --> 00:19:55.940 Into this bin. 522 00:19:56.040 --> 00:19:58.900 Dom, you don't need to move into a bin. 523 00:19:59.000 --> 00:20:00.380 Just come inside. 524 00:20:00.480 --> 00:20:02.540 Just let me help you, OK? 525 00:20:02.640 --> 00:20:04.340 If you wanna help, put the modem in the window 526 00:20:04.440 --> 00:20:06.440 so I can tap into the wi-fi. 527 00:20:08.040 --> 00:20:10.040 Yeah. 528 00:20:12.240 --> 00:20:17.280 (DOM PLAYS GUITAR AND SINGS) ♪ 2020 came and fucked my life 529 00:20:19.480 --> 00:20:23.000 ♪ And now I'm living in a bin 530 00:20:24.520 --> 00:20:27.620 ♪ But what makes me feel more distressed 531 00:20:27.720 --> 00:20:30.900 ♪ Than sleeping in a wheelie bin full of waste 532 00:20:31.000 --> 00:20:34.720 ♪ Is the substantial rubbish that's within 533 00:20:37.160 --> 00:20:38.900 ♪ Why can't you- ♪ 534 00:20:39.000 --> 00:20:41.540 Holy shit! Fuck, brah! 535 00:20:41.640 --> 00:20:43.500 (SCREAMS) Help! 536 00:20:43.600 --> 00:20:46.060 I was up all night beside myself with worry 537 00:20:46.160 --> 00:20:48.620 that Dom was out there and cold on his own 538 00:20:48.720 --> 00:20:51.220 so I went out to check on him and took him a tea and... 539 00:20:51.320 --> 00:20:52.780 Dom! 540 00:20:52.880 --> 00:20:54.540 ..the recycling had been collected. 541 00:20:54.640 --> 00:20:55.580 Oh, my God! 542 00:20:55.680 --> 00:20:58.200 And so I have absolutely no idea where Dom has gone. 543 00:21:02.360 --> 00:21:04.640 I have no idea where he is. 544 00:21:05.880 --> 00:21:07.900 To keep me distracted from Dom, 545 00:21:08.000 --> 00:21:10.700 I have started doing Wim Hof exposure therapy 546 00:21:10.800 --> 00:21:13.100 and it really takes your mind off things. 547 00:21:13.200 --> 00:21:15.220 Your body lets you know when your core is warm enough. 548 00:21:15.320 --> 00:21:18.340 And it indicates its perfect temperature 549 00:21:18.440 --> 00:21:20.540 with an earthing queef. 550 00:21:20.640 --> 00:21:21.820 (FARTS) 551 00:21:21.920 --> 00:21:23.580 OK... 552 00:21:23.680 --> 00:21:24.780 Yep, we're good. 553 00:21:24.880 --> 00:21:26.700 OK, I'm ready for the cold bath. 554 00:21:26.800 --> 00:21:30.700 The principle being is that it's so fucking cold 555 00:21:30.800 --> 00:21:32.340 that you actually have no capacity 556 00:21:32.440 --> 00:21:34.340 to worry about anything else at all. 557 00:21:34.440 --> 00:21:37.260 And it's great for your immunity and blood circ- 558 00:21:37.360 --> 00:21:38.700 Dom, you're back! 559 00:21:38.800 --> 00:21:40.940 Wow! Why don't you jump into the bath 560 00:21:41.040 --> 00:21:42.580 and have an ice bath, Dom? 561 00:21:42.680 --> 00:21:45.020 Yeah, I just swam back from the floating garbage island 562 00:21:45.120 --> 00:21:46.460 in the middle of the Pacific Ocean 563 00:21:46.560 --> 00:21:49.120 and I'm not in the mood for your fucking bullshit right now. 564 00:21:51.640 --> 00:21:52.700 DAD: Adrian? 565 00:21:52.800 --> 00:21:54.980 Hey, Dad, I just wanted to see how you were doing. 566 00:21:55.080 --> 00:21:57.780 I'm doing OK, keeping busy. 567 00:21:57.880 --> 00:21:59.660 We've approved a few new mines, 568 00:21:59.760 --> 00:22:03.500 blown up a few old Indigenous burial grounds. 569 00:22:03.600 --> 00:22:05.340 Planning whatever comes next. 570 00:22:05.440 --> 00:22:07.460 Did you get the invite? 571 00:22:07.560 --> 00:22:09.220 Spots here are running out. 572 00:22:09.320 --> 00:22:11.500 Is it even safe there? 573 00:22:11.600 --> 00:22:12.940 Look, it couldn't be safer. 574 00:22:13.040 --> 00:22:14.580 Everyone here's been tested and... 575 00:22:14.680 --> 00:22:16.760 ..we've already got the vaccine. 576 00:22:17.560 --> 00:22:19.140 I don't know, Dad. 577 00:22:19.240 --> 00:22:20.540 Who's there? 578 00:22:20.640 --> 00:22:22.420 The CEOs of the Big 4 banks, 579 00:22:22.520 --> 00:22:23.820 politicians, 580 00:22:23.920 --> 00:22:26.220 the Murdochs, Alan Jones, 581 00:22:26.320 --> 00:22:27.300 Bert Newtown. 582 00:22:27.400 --> 00:22:28.780 Uncle Bert? 583 00:22:28.880 --> 00:22:30.220 (CHUCKLES) 584 00:22:30.320 --> 00:22:31.380 Funny. 585 00:22:31.480 --> 00:22:32.900 He says hi. 586 00:22:33.000 --> 00:22:34.460 And what about Dom? 587 00:22:34.560 --> 00:22:35.740 Adrian, listen... 588 00:22:35.840 --> 00:22:39.380 ..this is a very small, very select group of people 589 00:22:39.480 --> 00:22:43.540 who have attained, protected and passed on ancient knowledge 590 00:22:43.640 --> 00:22:44.980 since the fall of Atlantis, 591 00:22:45.080 --> 00:22:47.220 and at this pivotal time, the last thing we need 592 00:22:47.320 --> 00:22:49.740 is your freeloading fucktart of a friend 593 00:22:49.840 --> 00:22:52.300 who says his beard dandruff is dried egg. 594 00:22:52.400 --> 00:22:54.140 OK, Dad, it is dried egg. 595 00:22:54.240 --> 00:22:57.040 I swear to Christ. 596 00:22:58.400 --> 00:22:59.340 Dad... 597 00:22:59.440 --> 00:23:01.540 Yes? (MAN GROANS) 598 00:23:01.640 --> 00:23:03.100 Are you in the illuminati? 599 00:23:03.200 --> 00:23:04.100 What?! 600 00:23:04.200 --> 00:23:05.780 No! (SCOFFS) 601 00:23:05.880 --> 00:23:08.020 Don't be ridiculous, Adrian. 602 00:23:08.120 --> 00:23:09.220 That is absurd. 603 00:23:09.320 --> 00:23:11.100 Look, if you change your mind, 604 00:23:11.200 --> 00:23:13.740 the last train leaves at the stroke of midnight 605 00:23:13.840 --> 00:23:15.220 on the blood moon, 606 00:23:15.320 --> 00:23:18.660 from the canal by the 13th tee of Woollahra Golf Course. 607 00:23:18.760 --> 00:23:20.760 (SHEEP BLEAT) 608 00:23:26.240 --> 00:23:27.340 DOM, V/O: It's got to the point 609 00:23:27.440 --> 00:23:29.620 where Adrian's just spending all day in the garage 610 00:23:29.720 --> 00:23:31.340 and I'm completely on my own. 611 00:23:31.440 --> 00:23:33.980 And I'm going to be living in bins for the rest of my life 612 00:23:34.080 --> 00:23:37.340 unless I find the motivation to get creative 613 00:23:37.440 --> 00:23:39.860 to do something new, to break some ground 614 00:23:39.960 --> 00:23:42.320 and to make something of my life. 615 00:23:43.120 --> 00:23:45.060 Hey, 616 00:23:45.160 --> 00:23:47.160 my name is Dom. 617 00:23:48.280 --> 00:23:50.900 Um, welcome to my OnlyFans. 618 00:23:51.000 --> 00:23:52.660 That's right, Dirty Dom, 619 00:23:52.760 --> 00:23:54.460 dancing in the place to be. 620 00:23:54.560 --> 00:23:56.660 No, I don't think I'll fit that in there. 621 00:23:56.760 --> 00:23:59.040 15 bucks and I'll take off the mask. 622 00:24:05.720 --> 00:24:07.720 Huh? 623 00:24:10.080 --> 00:24:12.260 (ADRIAN GAGS) 624 00:24:12.360 --> 00:24:15.160 (ADRIAN GAGS ON VIDEO) Motherfuck! 625 00:24:18.480 --> 00:24:20.680 You stole my business idea! 626 00:24:21.600 --> 00:24:23.540 (GAGS) 627 00:24:23.640 --> 00:24:26.300 (SCOFFS) OK. Really, Dom? 628 00:24:26.400 --> 00:24:28.340 I shot that video three weeks ago 629 00:24:28.440 --> 00:24:30.900 because you were not interested in collabing with me. 630 00:24:31.000 --> 00:24:33.020 I'm sorry for doing something real. 631 00:24:33.120 --> 00:24:35.860 Oh, yeah, cool, says the guy who's meditating. 632 00:24:35.960 --> 00:24:38.180 Dom, I meditate to stay present. 633 00:24:38.280 --> 00:24:39.620 You meditate to escape the present! 634 00:24:39.720 --> 00:24:41.940 Meditation is just some spiritual fancy word 635 00:24:42.040 --> 00:24:43.700 for daydreaming, alright? You know what's real? 636 00:24:43.800 --> 00:24:46.660 Money is real, man. We need money! 637 00:24:46.760 --> 00:24:48.660 Good lord. 638 00:24:48.760 --> 00:24:51.740 You've turned into a boring crisis entrepreneur 639 00:24:51.840 --> 00:24:54.460 leveraging off the collapse of civilisation for your own ends. 640 00:24:54.560 --> 00:24:56.820 Oh, cool, yeah, 'cause you're just like a walking cliche 641 00:24:56.920 --> 00:24:57.960 of a rich kid who thinks he's spiritual 642 00:24:58.040 --> 00:24:59.860 'cause he has cold baths and doesn't wear fucking shoes. 643 00:24:59.960 --> 00:25:02.100 Yeah, cool. OK, Jeff Bezos. 644 00:25:02.200 --> 00:25:04.220 Well, sorry I don't have a minted Dad to bail me out 645 00:25:04.320 --> 00:25:05.700 of every problem I've ever had. 646 00:25:05.800 --> 00:25:07.900 Oh, I'm sorry my dad is not a fucking nurse! 647 00:25:08.000 --> 00:25:09.900 My dad is a doctor, man. He's a doctor! 648 00:25:10.000 --> 00:25:13.060 Dom, your dad is a fucking nurse, OK? 649 00:25:13.160 --> 00:25:15.020 And you should be really proud of that. 650 00:25:15.120 --> 00:25:16.380 Nurses are more valuable in this world 651 00:25:16.480 --> 00:25:18.700 than anything you're trying to fucking strive for. 652 00:25:18.800 --> 00:25:20.140 You know what? 653 00:25:20.240 --> 00:25:21.180 Fuck you, man! 654 00:25:21.280 --> 00:25:23.260 - Fuck me? - Fuck you! 655 00:25:23.360 --> 00:25:26.700 Dad didn't bail me out, Dad bailed us out. 656 00:25:26.800 --> 00:25:28.580 Us, Dom! 657 00:25:28.680 --> 00:25:31.980 Every single time that I accepted money from Dad, 658 00:25:32.080 --> 00:25:33.300 you benefited from it. 659 00:25:33.400 --> 00:25:36.260 Truth is we'd be nowhere without Dad's generosity. 660 00:25:36.360 --> 00:25:40.340 But you don't know what truth really looks like, do you? 661 00:25:40.440 --> 00:25:42.220 Because every part of the person 662 00:25:42.320 --> 00:25:43.860 that you're pretending to be 663 00:25:43.960 --> 00:25:45.960 is a fucking lie. 664 00:25:47.600 --> 00:25:49.700 Oh, yeah, cool, man. Run back to the garage 665 00:25:49.800 --> 00:25:51.420 where you can keep pretending to be a man. 666 00:25:51.520 --> 00:25:52.580 Yeah, cool, you have no idea 667 00:25:52.680 --> 00:25:54.100 what I'm creating in there, do you? 668 00:25:54.200 --> 00:25:56.780 Or actually what I fucking sacrifice for you? 669 00:25:56.880 --> 00:25:59.320 How about this? You're not my best friend anymore. 670 00:26:01.800 --> 00:26:03.800 Who needs a best friend? 671 00:26:14.440 --> 00:26:15.940 DAD'S VOICE: Look, if you change your mind, 672 00:26:16.040 --> 00:26:18.620 the last train leaves at the stroke of midnight 673 00:26:18.720 --> 00:26:19.740 on the blood moon, 674 00:26:19.840 --> 00:26:22.980 from the canal by the 13th tee of Woollahra Golf Course. 675 00:26:23.080 --> 00:26:26.280 (EERIE MUSIC PLAYS) 676 00:26:28.200 --> 00:26:30.960 (SPOOKY VOICE ECHOES) 677 00:26:38.040 --> 00:26:40.040 Look, man, about before... 678 00:26:48.760 --> 00:26:50.540 Now, an egg. 679 00:26:50.640 --> 00:26:52.500 A friend, much like an egg, 680 00:26:52.600 --> 00:26:54.700 is hard on the outside, but soft on the inside. 681 00:26:54.800 --> 00:26:56.300 Friendship, much like cake, 682 00:26:56.400 --> 00:26:58.540 can benefit from being a little bit sweeter. 683 00:26:58.640 --> 00:27:00.300 But if you add too much sugar, 684 00:27:00.400 --> 00:27:03.140 your friendship can end up with type 2 diabetes. 685 00:27:03.240 --> 00:27:05.660 What does that make you feel when you watch that? 686 00:27:05.760 --> 00:27:08.780 Are you not sad at all that you had an argument with Adrian? 687 00:27:08.880 --> 00:27:10.420 I'll get a new best friend. 688 00:27:10.520 --> 00:27:11.700 And in friendship sometimes, 689 00:27:11.800 --> 00:27:14.460 one of the partnership, much like butter, 690 00:27:14.560 --> 00:27:15.940 can be extremely rich, 691 00:27:16.040 --> 00:27:19.140 and then the other person tends to rely 692 00:27:19.240 --> 00:27:21.060 on the richness of the butter. 693 00:27:21.160 --> 00:27:23.160 So are we wrapped? 694 00:27:23.720 --> 00:27:25.100 (CLEARS THROAT) 695 00:27:25.200 --> 00:27:27.820 Did you know I grew up on a farm out west? 696 00:27:27.920 --> 00:27:29.260 I'm so sorry. 697 00:27:29.360 --> 00:27:30.100 Yeah. 698 00:27:30.200 --> 00:27:34.300 And we had these two chickens on the farm. 699 00:27:34.400 --> 00:27:36.940 They were really stupid, 700 00:27:37.040 --> 00:27:39.420 but cute, and they were always cooped up, 701 00:27:39.520 --> 00:27:42.700 fighting all the time over silly things. 702 00:27:42.800 --> 00:27:44.380 And one night, a fox got in. 703 00:27:44.480 --> 00:27:47.380 And they were so busy fighting all the time 704 00:27:47.480 --> 00:27:49.580 they didn't have the chance to escape. 705 00:27:49.680 --> 00:27:50.860 Well, what happened? 706 00:27:50.960 --> 00:27:52.060 They got ripped in half. 707 00:27:52.160 --> 00:27:53.780 DOM: The chickens? - Yeah. 708 00:27:53.880 --> 00:27:55.060 DOM: Fuck. 709 00:27:55.160 --> 00:27:56.620 Wait... 710 00:27:56.720 --> 00:27:59.900 Am... Oh. I'm the fox. 711 00:28:00.000 --> 00:28:01.180 GERRY: No. 712 00:28:01.280 --> 00:28:03.500 - Oh. Am I the coop? - No. 713 00:28:03.600 --> 00:28:04.940 Am I the food? 714 00:28:05.040 --> 00:28:07.300 (SIGHS) D-Dom... 715 00:28:07.400 --> 00:28:08.180 Am I you? 716 00:28:08.280 --> 00:28:10.300 The only thing that you and Adrian love 717 00:28:10.400 --> 00:28:12.140 more than yourselves are each other. 718 00:28:12.240 --> 00:28:14.440 But you're just too stupid to see it. 719 00:28:15.400 --> 00:28:17.060 He's the stupid one. 720 00:28:17.160 --> 00:28:19.100 He's the chickens, isn't he? Adrian's the chickens. 721 00:28:19.200 --> 00:28:20.780 Do you genuinely have no idea 722 00:28:20.880 --> 00:28:23.120 what he's been doing in the garage? 723 00:28:38.840 --> 00:28:41.520 (EERIE MUSIC PLAYS) 724 00:28:45.080 --> 00:28:47.320 (WOLF HOWLS) 725 00:28:59.280 --> 00:29:03.680 (SPOOKY VOICE ECHOES) 726 00:29:15.320 --> 00:29:17.840 (RUMBLING) 727 00:29:29.680 --> 00:29:32.120 (TRAIN HORN WHISTLES) 728 00:29:51.200 --> 00:29:53.200 (HORN BEEPS) 729 00:29:55.000 --> 00:29:56.740 Adrian, brah! 730 00:29:56.840 --> 00:29:58.500 Don't go, please! 731 00:29:58.600 --> 00:29:59.660 Dom? 732 00:29:59.760 --> 00:30:00.940 What... 733 00:30:01.040 --> 00:30:03.380 Are you serious, man? 734 00:30:03.480 --> 00:30:04.980 You made this with your bare hands? 735 00:30:05.080 --> 00:30:06.580 It was going to be a surprise. 736 00:30:06.680 --> 00:30:10.020 My God, this is the fucking coolest thing I've ever seen. 737 00:30:10.120 --> 00:30:11.420 Are you serious, man? 738 00:30:11.520 --> 00:30:14.220 You recycled an actual recycling bin! 739 00:30:14.320 --> 00:30:15.700 Man, I'm rubbish. 740 00:30:15.800 --> 00:30:17.660 I'm a rubbish friend. 741 00:30:17.760 --> 00:30:19.660 I'm going to really, really miss you 742 00:30:19.760 --> 00:30:21.740 if you get on that illuminati train 743 00:30:21.840 --> 00:30:24.940 and you go meet your illuminati fuckwit dad 744 00:30:25.040 --> 00:30:26.140 in an illuminati bunker. 745 00:30:26.240 --> 00:30:28.020 I don't want to spend the end of the world 746 00:30:28.120 --> 00:30:30.120 with anyone else but you, brah. 747 00:30:32.120 --> 00:30:34.200 Cool, thanks. 748 00:30:35.400 --> 00:30:37.400 I'm so sorry, brah. 749 00:30:38.680 --> 00:30:40.980 Um, I'm sorry too. 750 00:30:41.080 --> 00:30:42.940 Not all your ideas were shit. 751 00:30:43.040 --> 00:30:46.160 So I suppose what I'm trying to ask you is... 752 00:30:48.120 --> 00:30:51.140 ..will you be my best friend... again? 753 00:30:51.240 --> 00:30:53.240 OK. 754 00:30:54.560 --> 00:30:56.680 - Air hugs? - Yeah. 755 00:30:58.160 --> 00:31:00.320 Social distancing. 756 00:31:04.640 --> 00:31:06.300 Love you, man. 757 00:31:06.400 --> 00:31:08.380 - You too, brah. - Alright, let's roll! 758 00:31:08.480 --> 00:31:10.180 Jump on in, you big dingaling! 759 00:31:10.280 --> 00:31:13.140 (SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC) Hey! Hey, get off me! 760 00:31:13.240 --> 00:31:14.300 You let him go! 761 00:31:14.400 --> 00:31:15.860 MAN: The train must not depart 762 00:31:15.960 --> 00:31:18.780 without the son of the Grand Director of Ceremonies! 763 00:31:18.880 --> 00:31:20.540 (MEN GRUNT) 764 00:31:20.640 --> 00:31:22.140 (MOBILE BEEPS) 765 00:31:22.240 --> 00:31:25.820 (BONES CRACK) (MOBILE BEEPS) 766 00:31:25.920 --> 00:31:26.860 Hey, Adrian! 767 00:31:26.960 --> 00:31:28.820 (SCREAMS) 768 00:31:28.920 --> 00:31:30.140 You got a call. 769 00:31:30.240 --> 00:31:31.260 Who is it, brah? 770 00:31:31.360 --> 00:31:33.360 Destiny. 771 00:31:34.760 --> 00:31:37.040 (MEN SCREAM) 772 00:31:45.440 --> 00:31:49.140 (UPBEAT ELECTRONIC MUSIC PLAYS) 773 00:31:49.240 --> 00:31:51.460 Next stop, the future. 774 00:31:51.560 --> 00:31:53.560 (ENGINE REVS) 775 00:31:55.800 --> 00:31:58.660 DOM: So which of my business ideas did you like? 776 00:31:58.760 --> 00:32:00.060 Was it Cumbucha? 777 00:32:00.160 --> 00:32:02.740 ADRIAN: No, Dom, Cumbucha is super gross. 778 00:32:02.840 --> 00:32:05.740 But it was a beverage. 779 00:32:05.840 --> 00:32:07.740 And that's how my best friend Adrian and I 780 00:32:07.840 --> 00:32:09.620 came to set up Bondi Rain - 781 00:32:09.720 --> 00:32:12.460 locally produced, ethically sourced, non-GMO rainwater. 782 00:32:12.560 --> 00:32:14.900 ADRIAN: And now that we're through the chaos of 2020, 783 00:32:15.000 --> 00:32:17.100 well, back to business as yuzh. 784 00:32:17.200 --> 00:32:18.980 Ain't nothing gonna stop us now. 785 00:32:19.080 --> 00:32:20.940 PROTESTERS: (CHANT) If you don't like it, leave 786 00:32:21.040 --> 00:32:23.160 take your hate outta my State. 787 00:32:24.360 --> 00:32:27.560 (GRUNTING AND SHOUTING) 788 00:32:30.800 --> 00:32:33.400 Everything is as it should be. 789 00:32:35.720 --> 00:32:36.740 There you go, Debbie. 790 00:32:36.840 --> 00:32:39.020 1240 dollaridoos. 791 00:32:39.120 --> 00:32:41.120 DOM: Guess you won't be needing this anymore. 792 00:32:44.480 --> 00:32:46.180 Well done. 793 00:32:46.280 --> 00:32:48.100 But you are 13 days late. 794 00:32:48.200 --> 00:32:50.780 So you've got another $1280 due tomorrow. 795 00:32:50.880 --> 00:32:53.220 Um, sorry, $1280? 796 00:32:53.320 --> 00:32:55.340 Yeah, the rent's gone up again. 797 00:32:55.440 --> 00:32:58.080 Bye! 798 00:32:59.120 --> 00:33:01.560 Fucking Bondi!