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This is my time to get things done.
You Can Do This.
(spit)
You Can Do This!
(exhales)
Its Your Time.
This Is It
Come on (exhales) Come On...
Come On!
(exhales)
You Got This.
Just Breathe.
(clears throat)
How ya doing? --Doug!
Yes! Nice!
Alright!
Interesting.
a little bit different than what
I imagined...
Oh! Sorry... That's an old...
Nah, that's alright.
Hey...
(unclear rambling) Looks like more of an accurate
portrayal.
Interesting.
We doing ok today?
Yea, yea, yea, great! Awesome! Awesome!
This is Nice!.. that's... you know?...
Well, its a different look
Yea!... a little bit different
than what I kinda had in mind.
Interesting. Both good pictures... both
good...
I, um...
This is... Cool
Yea, well, i'm getting a lot of
Callbacks
Could we... lose that possibly?
For...?
For us?... We were kinda thinking of a
cleaner... Cleaner look here.
--ok
You know?... Yea, if necessary.
Yea... Alright...
um... Have a seat... Let's see what we
can... see what we can get out
of here.
(clears throat)
--Do you have any questions, Doug?
Uh... No, Sue, thanks.
Ok, whenever you're ready.
(cars pass outside)
ALL YOU CAN DO IS BREATHE
(inhales)
You smell that?
That's the Holidays
Yea...
I usually stop here…
On my way back...
I--I work the whole East Coast.
Oh, yea.
Up & Down the Coast.
Yea, this time of year it slows
down…
Everyone's...
Everyone's going home to see their families.
You got a family?
Naaaahhh...Naaaaahhh... (BAG UNCRINKLES)
I'm Single.
(Eating Noises) Nom... Nom... Nom...
Alright, yea, cool.
Thank you, Doug.
That was, uh... That was great!\
We'll be in touch, ok?...
(licking fingers)
God, what the fuck was that?
Are you kidding me?
*bangs fist on railing*
music fades in...
(music grows)
(music blares)
So I go in...
Hey, how ya doin'
"Its Doug--Doug, nice to meet you"
... and they like it...(laughs)
I become a regular...
... of a series! Yes--AGAIN!
I'm working! (laughs)
That's it! That's it, ok! So!
I go in...
They want me, they see me
I got confidence.
Its the look! "Oh my god I can't believe this
is exactly what we're looking
for!
(horn)
Stay in this lane.
(laughs)
You may not know where you're
going but I know where I'm going!
Yes, right to the top!
(sighs) Ok, ok...
(Listening to Music)
You signed with Becky?
I did!
(chuckles)... And I want to thank you
... for pushing me and telling me to
Stop being a lazy bitch.
(Door Opens)
What The Fuck?
(Door Opens)
Hey, Doug, how's it goin'?
Hey, Tony.
Excuse me.
Well, my beautiful Artists!
Are we ready for this or what?
Oh, Fuck this shit!
Charlie?
There you are!
Ok, so...
We, uh...
Let's go over rehearsal from yesterday. We changed up a few things...
Yea, we changed some of the blocking.
Yes, that's right.
I think I came this way, and...
instead of him just grabbing his keys off the table...
I--I put my hand over his to... um...
Yes! I see...
(knocks)
Oh, hey. What's up, man?
Hi
So, uh...
I saw the Cast List...
Mm-Hmm... What about it?
Well, I...
... I was wondering "What The Fuck", man?
Excuse me?
Look, I don't know what kind of show you're trying
to put on here, but it was my part and you just...
gave it away.
I don't know what you're talking about.
You know how hard I worked on that part?
How I gave it my all day in & day out?!
Y-Y-You know! I am the perfect guy to play Willy Loman
But you just... CUT ME OUT!
Ok...
What do you want from me, Doug?
What you can do for me...
Is Re-Cast the show!
(sarcastic chuckle)
"Recast The Show"
Who the Fuck you think you are?
Are you fucking kidding me?
Are you?!
You fucking audit my class!
Technically you shouldn't even be here.
Well, technically I have been acting since
before you were born. Technically I can kick you out
of here so Fucking FAST
You'll never know what hit you!
(chuckles) You're bluffing
Oh! Am I?
Pfft!
Look at you.
You fucking has been...
Oh, sure, you've been in things here and there.
Yea.
But you, my friend, are no leading man.
You're pathetic! (Pats on Shoulder)
Look...
We're going more Modern with the Show
Therefore, I Cast younger. Ok?
This shit happens all the time,
Doug
But you wouldn't know anything
about it…
Would you?
Pfft!
LINE!!
No wonder you're all alone...
You know what you are?
You're a washed up old man waiting to die.
And I just can't believe you
haven't done us all the favor
and already kill yourself.
What are you waiting for, Doug?
Don't...
Fuckin' push me...
I will END YOU!!
You hear me?
I will fucking end you!
YOU... MOTHER FUCKER!! FUCKER-FUCKER!!
Get the Fuck! Out of my Class!!
(door slam)
YOU'LL NEVER WORK IN THIS TOWN
EVER AGAIN!!
You hear me??!!
NEVER!!
AAAAHHH!!
(Violent Gasps for Air)
Mr. Landry, are you ok?
AAAHH!! --Oh my god, oh my god... Landry...
Call 9-1-1... Call 9-1-1...
Somebody call an Ambulance!!
Tony! Give me your phone.
(music fades in)
over phone Hello?... We need help, someone's having a heart attack!
Now, we could do this the easy way...
Or the hard way...
Its all up to you.
I can be any way you want me to be.
In fact, I'll tell you what we're gonna do here.
We're gonna find out if this really works
Maybe you can use it on your parole hearing, eh?
My dreams have all been taken away from me
because of you!
And I am sick! Of all the bullshit!
Sick of all the lies!
Sorry (clears throat)
I mean, maybe you can use it on
your parole hearing…
... get an early release.
What d'ya think about that?
Its all over for me.
You mean it?
Its all over.
Would you like to see it... any other way?
You're listening to the sweet sounds of KJBB
(Latin Music)
Keep it here for the Thrilling Show!
(Big Rig Horn)
Come on, I got a BLINK--JESUS!!
I GOT MY BLINKER ON!! What d'you expect?!
(Plops on bed)
(Inhale/Exhale)
(Woman laughing)
(Music Grows)
(Woman Laughing)
(laughter continues)
(laughter stops)
Where the hell am I?
The Where matters not, its the Why
you should be concerning yourself with
What do you want with me?
I have nothing, I'm a Nobody.
True.
But that's all going to change.
Soon, the world will now the name
Doug Bridgers!
One of the Greatest Actors to grace Stage or Screen
I'm here to ensure you don't stray
From the path to Stardom.
As I've had to do many times in the past
I'm intervening.
So a Genius isn't forgotten in his own Era.
Are you not Doug Bridgers?
Did I get the wrong fucking guy?!
(examining)
No!
You're him.
You're THE Doug Bridgers.
Well, before your prime mind you
My boy, we have work to do!
Look at you!
Pitiful, Has been, Never was...
Living in Squalor, Rejected…
Passed over, Pathetic!
I'm a Big Fan!
I know your story all too well...
The times & places change
But it all ends about the same.
I guess so.
Yes! I'm quite familiar
of the sordid details of your Career’s path
As well as the tumultuous Home Life
Intertwined, woven in the Looms foretelling.
Once, filled with Promise & Hope
Your talent & potential Overshadowed by
Better Looking, Better Connected & now...
Younger Actors...
Taking the leading parts while you're
time & time again in supporting roles.
You tried...
Gallantly, at first
to hide the resentment.
Humbly feigning appreciation.
It made you bitter. Angry.
Honestly it affected your work
Made it Darker.
I'm partial to this chapter.
You turn that misery into some real compelling performances.
Still...
Unappreciated by everyone
Directors, Fellow Actors,
Critics...
Everyone...
Feeling pitiful...
Hollow...
The drinking helped
But when that became too much of a problem
She came into the picture.
Cleaned you up, put you back on your feet.
With Her by your side, you re- doubled your efforts...
Auditioning as hard as ever...
Struggling through the two-faced
Backstabbing…
... nature of the Beast
Making even some small success...
... with a television role
But Forgettable Flashes Fade Out Fast!
The money came and went and before long
She did too...
The rift between you grew...
You, being emotionally unavailable for Her
She, blaming your craft,
A Sacrifice you'd never make.
Lost again, the comforts of the Drink
came back & before long you find yourself
out month to month living
in a piss smelling hovel
killing yourself about how you
could have done it better
Blaming yourself for...
(Doug cries)
For Fuck's Sake!
Would you look at yourself?
Frankly, its disgusting.
They say never meet your heroes...
Enough already!
Save the water works for the Big Screen!
GET A HOLD OF YOURSELF BRIDGERS!! (slap)
Honestly, you left me no choice.
Cheer up, friend.
I'm here to tell you...
Your story's not a tragedy.
Its not?
No.
Its a comedy.
And I know the punchline.
A comeback tale for the ages...
The Big Break that is the SPARK
that lights is all up for you!
I'm sorry, what is this?
Who the fuck are you?
Always the wrong questions.
With many moniker over the Millennia,
Its hard to keep track.
If you must, you can refer to me as Balthazar
But the important element is that
everything you've been working toward...
All that you have ever desired...
is within your grasp if you simply listen
... and trust me.
oh yea?
So... Why Now?...
I mean, after all the shit I've endured...
Been fucked over...Every effort...
has been shunned...
So why now? Why me, huh?
Because you are in possession
of the greatest gift ever bestowed on mankind
the power to Entertain!
Once for a brief moment in time,
a Performer emerges inhabited by the Flame.
When that Fire is fed properly, it can grow
It can grow into an all consuming Inferno.
Undeniable, Inescapable...
burning so bright, it draws all focus!
You, my boy, are such a chosen vessel.
The Fire resides within you.
With it, you will blaze a path for Glory...
The Prodigal Phoenix!!
You'll show them all, Doug...
You'll show them all!!
Hey...
Hey!
Hey, wait up!!
(echoing running steps)
(Echo)
(Ocean Sounds)
AAAhhh!
The crashing waves!
As if Poseidon himself applauds
your talent...
Can you hear it within the maelstrom, Doug?
The thunderous, roaring audience...
Its intoxicating!
A siren's call!
Driving many a-Thespian to a
depraved & demented madness!
This quest for the...
veneration the audience can provide has
left scores of unworthy
unknowns..
destitute, miserable dying
lonely paupers deaths.
This is not what fate has in
store for you.
So, what say you, Douglas?
Will you set a course for
Destiny?
You know I smoked a little grass
in my time
But I don't think I'm prepared
for whatever
Devil fleshed...
Fairy Bullshit you got there...
Your Puritanical Prudishness is
really
preventing you from having a
good time...
Besides, this is merely some of
the Bard's own herb.
Its more of the symbolism than
the act of smoking...
Do you not trust I have your
best interests in mind?...
Yea... Well, all the same...
I think i'll pass.
Very well, then. I suppose we
should...
get you back to it, then, shall
we?
(Rumble)
Doug, let's be clear...
I know I'm your Manager and all...
But you need this.
It'll only help your career.
Well...
What's left of it.
Technology...
Demand for social media...
This shit's here!
You need to learn to love it if
you want get in the game.
Alright, alright...
See...
Right now, we're small fish
in a Giant Fucking Ocean!
... So?...
Well...
In order to get the better roles,
you need to catch the bigger fish.
Which means be more competitive.
Its gonna be harder to get the
roles you WANT.
That's all.
Right now...
I can probably get you a decent
student film that pays...
Like...
AFI or something...
You gotta crawl before you can walk
You know, a lot of this you can
tape yourself with your phone.
You know, start a Youtube
Get yourself out there...
So, when am I gonna get my Big Break?
Well...
There's this party this weekend
that a bunch of Actors-slash-
filmmakers are throwing...
Some... short release party...
No thanks.
Are you kidding?
You know, a lot about this
business is Networking
I can't do this shit all by
myself.
Besides...
There's gonna be a lot of people there.
And its guaranteed to be one
hell of a night!
Actors everywhere, Models
everywhere...
And do you know what that means?
NETWORKING!!
Who knows, something could happen...
You really think so?
Of course!
I mean, come on, man, its
Hollywood!
Radio: Good Morning Los Angeles!
Radio: Its another beautiful day
in Southern California!
Doug: "You don't like that do you?
Nah... Hurts doesn't it, mother fucker?!
You don't like that do you? Huh?...
Hurts doesn't it, mother fucker..."
"Not in the house, Charlie. No
one was supposed to be here.
He wasn't supposed to be here...
No one was supposed to be there, Charlie...
Not in the house!
He wasn't supposed to be there.
No one was supposed to be there,
Charlie, not in the house!"
... stupid lines... stupid,
stupid...
Hi, uh D-D-Doug Birdgers
auditioning for the role of Spike...
(clears throat)
Sue: Alright, Doug... Uh,
whenever you're ready.
You know what being a Cross Country Trucker really is all
about?
Its about going cross country...
Ok... Uh...
Director: Whenever you're ready... Doug: Ok, Uh...
Director: Go right into it...
Director: Action!
Can I start over?
Director: What?
90% of the time, they're on Uppers.
'cause they gotta go all the way through.
You know, gotta go from one coast to the other coast
That's the problem. Cause most
of the time they don't even realize it...
Most of the time they don't even
realize they're even SPI---
Director: Ok, thank you
Director: Next!!
I don't wanna hear it!!
You come in there, and get in my way...
I'm trying to save a life! You understand that?!
I'm trying to save this woman
I mean, she's on my table! I am operating on her
And you come in there and start bothering me?
I mean, who do you think you are?!
Sue: Doug, can you...
I'm sorry, but... can... can you
give me some different levels, please?
You just seem to be... its its
Very angry...You know?
And your relationship with this
person is a little more to it...
Give me a little...different levels...
Its kind of one note.
I mean, you understand he's upset...
She's entered his operating room...
Its just its too loud and its too one note.
ok
How dare you come into my E.R.
and start telling me what to do. It is...
My Operating Room...I--I...
don't expect you to understand
that, you're new here.
You don't understand what's going on.
in this E.R, but right now
I am in charge, I am the GOD HERE
You understand that? So--So...
Don't come in interrupting...
my operation, when in fact...
Director 2: make it Fantastical!
Excuse me?
Make it more Fantastical.
Fantastical?...
... Do you have questions about that?
Do you understand what that means?...
Ok. (clears throat)
Right on Red... Right on Red!
Jesus...
(radio chatter)
Come on! What are you waiting for?
(Honks Horn)
Let's go!
Jesus, it says "Stop" not "Park"
Ugh! Jesus Christ!
You coulda made it!
Come on, no guts no glory. Let's go!
(Honks Horn)
The one time you DON'T want to
get in front of an asshole & you
do...
Of course.
Seriously?...
(You! Get the fuck outta the car!)
(You wanna be tough?!)
(Get outta the fuckin' car.)
I'll fuckin' kill you!
Get the fuck outta the car!
GET OUTTA THE FUCKIN' CAR!!
You got something' to fuckin' say
Get out of the fuckin' car & say it!
Excuse me?!
You got a fuckin' problem?
No. ...What's that?
NO! You want a fuckin' piece of me?
Oh, fuck off.
What the fuck did you say to me?!
You heard me FUCK OFF!!
(Enter Acid Jazz)
Fuck you, man!
(sirens)
(more sirens)
(claps) Bravo!! Bravo!!
Remarkable Performance,
Well done!
What do you care?
(Balthazar slurps coffee)
MMMMM!! I must say, Doug,
This is a damn fine cup of coffee,
Place is a bit of a shit hole, though...
MMMM!!
Real Grade-A Dominicano shit!
I do love a good dark roast...
OOOOhhh That is one nasty shiner
you’ve got there, boy...
Making new friends?...
So what now?
Keep plugging away just to be shit on?
I can't keep going like this...
Oh, honestly, Doug, lighten up!
Its not the end of days...
So you stank up a few audition rooms
No shortage of that in Hollywoodland,
plenty more on the horizon!
Fuck you, this is bullshit
You know, all this is all so
fucking unfair!
If they just give me a chance...
What do I have to do? Crucify
some mother fuckers? Crucify some mother fuckers?
Tsk, tsk, tsk...
Honestly, Doug, you needn't
stoop to such
lowly behavior... Besides,
Its not your style.
Its mine.
I can be intimidating.
(Sarcastic laughs)
Douggie, Sweetie!!
You can play those roles.
And I know you're referring to
your showdown,
with your Acting Coach
I wouldn't call that successful
coercion, Did you get what you want from
that little altercation?
Mother Fucker gave the role to someone else.
The petty complaints of a bitter old man.
Its sad, Doug, but nobody gives a fuck
about the theater anymore.
You want to play Willy Loman?
Play him on the Big Screen!
Or the Small Screen.
Or the even Smaller Screen...
Honestly, Doug, don't you understand?
The adoration potential for these
technological terrors is
substantially larger!
You need exposure, friend!
And the theater just simply doesn't have the
audience capacity for a Doug Bridgers performance.
So, I'm supposed to get on Instagram?
Take selfies?...
Make myself look like a....
desperate asshole?!..
That's gonna make me a star?!
"The only thing you have in this
world is what you can sell."
--Arthur Miller
There's your fucking Arthur Miller!
In this case, Doug, you are the product.
And you have to convince these bastards
That this...
decomposing, lamentable,
common looking ol' gas bag
is worthy of purchase.
You've got to sell yourself, my boy!
No--no!
That's where Gil comes in,
I'm the talent, he's the Manager.
That's how it works.
Don't be so naive, Doug!
Its obvious that Gil isn't concentrating
on your career.
Perhaps he has more promising Irons in the fire...
Distracting him.
Gil is looking out for Gil.
So, what's your deal?
Nothing.
I'm merely a fan or torturing--
Tortured Artists.
(Phone Vibrates)
Hello? Gil (over phone): Doug?
Doug! Its me, Gil.
Where are you?
Hey, I'm at the Galleria.
I'm in a meeting with a high
profile Director
We are gonna get you some work!
Really? With who?
You'll see!
Its all part of the plan.
Just listen, you remember that
party I told you about earlier?
Yea?...
Go to it! Get there any way you can!
Your Career lies in the balance...
Yea, yea, I'll be there.
Now your heads in the fucking game!
Look, I gotta go...
(Rumble)
(Doorbell)
Oh Hey!! HI!!
Oh, so good of you to come! Yaassss!!
Oh man! This place
looks much nicer than your old one...
I know right!?
I love your floors!
Thank you, they cost me a
fucking fortune to install.
WOW! They look great!
I'll show you around, come on!
(House usic)
(fire crackling)
Do you play? --What?--
No, I was just...
I have no idea...
Its just, uh...
Me and music...It, uh...
... I like how it sounds
I love to listen to it...
It makes me feel... Alive!
Do you play?
I know a thing or two...
But i'm not exactly selling out Carnegie Hall...
Yea...
Well, I bet no one here is a Child Prodigy...
My boyfriend is...
But he's not here right now.
I'm Candice.
Doug.
Nice top meet you, Doug.
And you.
(clears throat)
So...
Who do you know around here?
Oh. Uh... My Manager.
He's around here... somewhere...
(somewhere)
Oh. Well, ok.
Yea, you know... He invited me, so...
I thought I'd come check it out.
And who is your Manager?
Oh! A smart, young guy by the
name of
Gil Shepherd, you may know
him...
Never heard of him.
And so...
What is it that you do, anyway?
I'm am Actor.
Oh! What have you been in?
You ever seen... Siamese Kiss?
Yea, well, it bombed.
Went straight to DVD success in
the US
and is now a cult classic in
Japan...
I was in that.
But, uh...
Mostly I've...just...
done a bunch of commercials...
Short Films...
Short Films? Or, like...
Student Films?
No. Short Films.
Oh. Well...
You'll have to show me.
(Doug chuckles)
I don't think anyone's ever
wanted to see any of the movies i've done.
Its just all a...
bunch of...
small shit, that's all.
(distant laughter)
How would you like to take a
grand tour?
Yea, sure.
So, uh...
Do you know the people that own
this place?
(Candice laughs)
(dance dance music)
and he invites me to his room
I think something's gonna happen
like something [unintelligible]
And then BOOM! We have sex [laughs]
He just disappeared/
Nothing Nothing Nothing Nothing HAPPENS
Nothing Happens... And then 6 months later...
He found me on Facebook. He...
typed in MY NAME and
and FOUND my name and entered
And pressed Send
and he added me on Facebook
His Profile Picture is with his Wife.
WI-IFE WIFE!!
W-I-F-E=WIFE
[laughs] I can't figure out
Why they do that?
Its I mean... What is going on?
And there's Guy After Guy ...
I can tell you about
And at a certain point you start
thinking you're stupid!
I finally meet this Female Casting Director
And... turns out she
just wants to sleep with me too!
And I thought "well, this will lead to a job, right?"
And And NOPE!Nope Nope!
Who Can I trust in LA?
I mean, I can't trust anybody.
Nobody cares about your unless
you're somebody.
And you're not somebody unless
you're somebody.
So how do you become somebody?
If you're not somebody?
It just doesn't work.
No matter how hard you try
You can't make yourself somebody
It just doesn't work like that
No... No no no no no no
Hey!
Hey! How are you? Good how are you?
Good, Good...
what's your name?
Uh... Doug!
And you are?...
I'm Ylenia. Ylenia?...
(clears throat) Well, you should know...
That is one beautiful name.
Thank you! Thank you!
So, are you... from here?...
I'm from Europe, actually.
What brought you here?
Well... Uh, just for fun.
For fun?? Yea, just for fun.
Ah, well, that's why i'm here.
Unfortunately I don't have any...
finances right now... But! But who knows!
Maybe there's someone down there I could meet.
That might... might be able to
help me with that...
(Yea...)
I don't know anyone down there...
I know everyone downstairs. Let
me show you...
Seriously? Yea! Follow me!
Aww, you are sweet!
These are all your friends?
Yaasss!
Well, how do you know all these people?
Aww, Long Story, I'll have to tell you sometime...
Hey man!
Sorry about that... Sorry...
I got you a drink!
(laughs) You are my best friend!
Honestly, I need more friends.
We need to keep this party going
all night long!
I think so! Cheers!
WOOO!!
Hey! Oh, Hello. And you are?
Are you a Producer? No-No-No, what's your name?
Excuse me?
[Unintelligible]
[Unintelligible Crowd Banter]
I can't believe I have never
heard of this place before...
Are you a Star?
Not yet but I will be.
I need to tell you about my
movie I'm producing...
There might be a role in there
for you...
Oh really?
Like, what kind of a role?
Well, how are you with, uh...
being Acrobatic?
So! I love the idea...
I think we should invest in it.
Oh! We're gonna star in it!
(Roaring Laughs)
(freaks)
[Doug Screams]
[Crowd Banter]
(get that light on him)
So, what brings you here?
Uhh... Taxi!
Are you somebody?...
Yes I am!
Only you just don't know it.
That's the problem.
Are you having fun?
I am having a marvelous time and I hope--
Is this what Holly wood is made of?
Absolute--
PARTY!!
That's what its made of, right there
(Orgasms)
(Screams)
(Pukes)
(laughs)
(bangs on door)
Come on, man, hurry up!
Somebody's in here!!
I’m tryin’ to get in there and
do some blow!
(bangs on door)
Come on, man, open up!
Come on, man, open up! I need to
get in there to do some blow!
Fuck you!
Hey man, what the fuck you doing?
I'm tryin' to do some fucking blow!
(door slams)
(screams)
(Jazz Music Begins)
(street sounds)
Doug! Come on, Doug's this
way...
Doug! Hey!
Hey, Doug!
(come on, he's over here)
What's going on, man?
What's going on?
I don't feel so good...
Well, you better get ready
because
I brought a special VIP to the
party!
(is this the guy you're taking
about?)
Doug!
Are you alright?
You okay, buddy?
Oh god!
You're making me look like a
fool Doug...
Are you alright?
I better take him home.
(phone vibrating)
Yea? Over Phone: Jesus Christ, Doug
What The Fuck, man?
What? Over Phone: Don't you ever
answer your phone?
Its 2 in the afternoon!
Ok, so?... I, ugh...
I passed out, whats up?
Yea, no shit!
Well, congratulations!!
You're gonna miss your audition
if you don't hurry the fuck up!
Wh... What are you talking about?
I got you an audition last night with
acclaimed Director, Oliver Crow.
When did this happen?...
Last night! You don't remember?
No...
... Did you get my email?
I just woke up...
Jesus Christ, Doug!
I sent it to you last night..
What the fuck were you doing?
I was... drinking again...
I know!!
Look, I sent you an email with instructions
for your audition later. Do yourself a favor
and read it 'till it gets into your head.
Ready or not, this is the big time.
Well, it sure doesn't feel like it...
Well, uh, look, Douggie...
You got a few hours to do this,
alright?...
And I'm serious.
This literally has the opportunity
to change your life.
(moans & groans)
(sniffs)
Oh, fuck this...
Hello?...
Can I help you?
Yes, uh, my name is Doug Bridgers
I'm here for my audition with
Oliver Crow...
And do you have an appointment?
(phone rings) Uh, yes...
I--I do...have--have an
an appointment my audition
Is at 3...(?)
(tapping on iPad)
(heavy breathing in & out) ... Hmmm...
Hmm...
Uhhh...
Nope. I don't see you anywhere.
You gotta be kidding me...
Sorry, sir, but I'm not kidding
you.
The door's right there.
I-- I was told to be here before 4...
Well, sir, if your name isn't on the list...
You may not enter.
(tapping on laptop)
I'm sorry, there must be some mistake.
We don't seem to be...
... Communicating.
My name is Doug Bridgers...
I have an addition...
And sir... I'm telling you...that--
Its ok, Gladice, he's a last minute fit.
Yes, sir.
Doug!.. Please, come in.
So you're the "Golden Boy" Gil &
my Meathead Producer
were talking about.
They've been talking about me?...
They sure were! They think
you're Legendary!
Walk with me.... They were
talking about
how--what a remarkable talent
you are...
and how you been around the
block more than once
and how we need to collaborate
work together, and...
They seem to think that you & I
and our talents
We can make one powerful film.
Oh, yea? So what do you think?
I still need to see it.
You're a little shorter than I
expected...
You're also a little early.
Not what I expected at all.
That's a good thing, right?
Welcome to my Chambers.
This is it!
This is ground zero!
If you don't mind just taking that mark whenever you're
comfortable...
Alrighty... lets get started,
shall we?
Yea, sure. Alright!
You know, when we first met...
I wasn't sure what think.
Excuse me? ... Yeah!
You were fucking wasted.
Aaaaannnd Action!
(Doug Screams)
(Sounds from the Hollywood Streets)
(door opens)
Bad day, Doug?
Fuckin'-A!
As if this day could get any
shittier.
No sense in crying over a little
spilled Irish Coffee.
My truck is gone...
I had to walk home to this
shithole.
Which I'm being evicted from...
Another rejection...
Just like everything else in this
God Forsaken Town...
So I don't need you Antagonizing me.
(Balthazar laughs)
Don't be so dramatic, Doug,
save it for the set! Besides,
some people walk miles everyday.
Not in L.A.,
that's not an option.
"take the Metro, take the bus..."
"get a bike" Get fucked!
Without a vehicle, I can't go to my gigs.
I can't go to my auditions.
Everything I've been working for
has come to a grinding halt.
I'm exhausted...
I'm done.
I don't ever want to hear you
FUCKING SAY THAT AGAIN!
That is the filthy, repugnant speech
of the loser, of the forgotten!
Sure, you're down...
But you're not out!
You're Doug-bloody-Bridgers!
Soon to be Legend in his own time!
So the world keeps shitting on you,
We'll get you an umbrella!
No ride? Put that lay about Manager
to use, have him drive you to and fro.
you knuckle down and work harder than you ever have before!
Are you fucking kidding me?
I've put in Overtime,
Developing Backstories for
Characters who get
3 lines--if I'm lucky.
Ive put in... hours learning
dialogues...
Speech Impediments
Memorizing Monologues...
Dialogues of entire fucking
scripts.
in case they want me to read for
someone else.
I put blood, sweat and tears
into
these Characters for nothing.
If I'm supposed to be this...
"Great Acting Legend", how come
No one else knows about it?
Its because I'm not special...
What else could I have done?
What's with this past tense talk?
There is no "could have done",
Only what you are going to do Now!
And there is no other path for
you but back on that horse.
I've been deluding myself this whole time.
Maybe I... Could have been happy as a...
As a Carpenter, or Craftsman...
... You know...
Actually making something with my hands.
Something real & fulfilling.
Oh, certainly. Builder Doug!
Let's explore that path, shall we?
I'm sure it sounds wonderfully simple and
romantic to you, but what it means is
early hours with arduous, monotonous labor
Rewarded with a pittance of a salary.
And maybe a few beers as you drag your
beaten corpse into your recliner in time
to turn on the TV and watch, and
fantasize about the glory and
glamour
of the Entertainer's world.
You awaken to find yourself in
the same spot
Unloved, unappreciated...
The endless cycle starting anew,
sending you through the
sickeningly similar
motions yet again.
The majority of people can hack
this life,
they know no other and ignorance
is bliss.
You know why this is not your
lot, my boy?
Because the fire within you will
not let you
Settle for mediocrity.
It needs you to fuel it and
allow it to burn
as brightly and hotly as it can
Any other path results in you
swallowing a gun barrel (and you
know this to be true)
The illusion is the happy, simple
life you think you could have had.
If it were going to happen to me,
It would have happened years ago.
Now, all they want are...
hip, buff empty headed pretty boys
and that ship has sailed.
Doug, that particular ship was never in
the harbor for you to begin with.
But that's for an entirely
different breed altogether,
You're not competing in their
meat markets.
Yours is a talent that improves with age.
informed by hardship & struggle.
proper experience.
There are no shortcuts, though, the path
is different for everyone.
Unless, of course, you are
willing to go the...
fallacious approach, I suppose...
Fallaci--
I'm not sucking anyone's dick!
And no one is asking you to, Doug,
Calm down. But...
you must be willing to do
whatever it takes.
Sacrifices must be made!
Fine. I submit!
Take my soul!
I'll sign my name in blood!
Sell my first born if I have to.
I don't give a shit, just make it happen.
(Balthazar laughs) No, no no, Doug!
What you're referring to are
works of pure fiction
I assure you.
There is no down on the cross roads,
No "Golden Fiddle"
No Faustian Bargain!
The only thing I have to offer
you now is wisdom.
And trust me when I tell you,
You have come too close to what
you deserve
for you to Quit now.
I know you want to leave behind
an immortal legacy that
stretches to the far corners
of the map...
to be worshipped by adoring fans,
some who have only seen you on a screen.
In order for this to be realized,
We need to show them the depths of your soul,
where the infernal monster
dwells magnificent
and horrifying, and unlike anything
they have ever seen before.
You've been told to make bigger,
bolder choices...
I say, take it further...
Give them both Gun barrels and
blow them away!
Show them bat shit crazy!
Give them a glimpse fo Doug's
internal inferno!
Set yourself above the rabble.
by venting all of your passions
into a unique take.
Hold nothing back.
Give no quarter...
Burn it down Bridgers!!
(laughs)
And when you're not on set, you charm
And you schmooze
Swallow your pride while eating
their shit
Until you become so integral they
wouldn't dream of pissing you off.
And then you can tell them all
to get fucked!
Behave however you want.
They'll keep calling you a
genius no matter what.
Don't play their game, Doug,
Be the game!
Make them conform to your rules.
Everything you've been working
to is impending,
Don't give up now! Either you
slap destiny on her ass, stick
your tongue down her throat and
make a bloody move...
Or regret... and despair...
and spiral out into obscurity.
the choice is yours.
Okay!
So... How long do I have to wait?
As long as is necessary, my friend.
And in the meantime,
you might need to try some new things.
Keep working hard, Douglas. I
assure you...
What you deserve is coming.
Deal! (laughs all around)
... Hypersensitive... ?...
Oh! Take me!!
YES!!
(phone rings)
Hello?
Doug Bridgers, Oliver Crow!
Oh, hey Oliver, how's it going?
Doing great, thanks.
Hey, so I watched to your
audition tape from yesterday
and.. I absolutely loved it.
Great work, man!
Really? Thanks!
Anytime!
Hey, so I sent it over to my
Producer buddy and he said he
liked it a lot and you're perfect for a part
What d'you say we get you in there bout
2'oclock?
Uh--yea--yea, that sounds great!
Great! Great!
Alright, I'll see you then,
alright? Bye now.
[Unintelligible Cafe Sounds]
... stay with me for the weekend...
How old is she?
[Unintelligible]
I just wanna make beautiful music, that's all
Makes sense. It does.
Now I heard about a situation
where a woman was vulnerable last week and you stepped in
That's why we're having this meeting today.
I looked into your work and think you're a very exceptional actor.
Thank you!
But I want to know more about
you personally.
[Cafe Sounds]
I actually moved from North Carolina.
Oh, really?
Yea, so I was raised in Philly
But I went to college in DC and...
If we can get together, figure out
how to identify the origin of our fears
we can step from Happiness...
And every person that steps from Happiness...
Then you can live a Happy life!
This can totally get rid of Depression...
This totally answers a question on Medication
So, the character you play
You know, your acting skill
This little conversation we're having
I really think you'd be a great addition to the family
And I can set it up Next Wednesday
[Cafe Sounds]
(snapping fingers)
Hey, Hey!!
You listening to me?
Yea, of course!
All I'm saying is nothing new, anyway.
You want the better roles, you
need an agent!
There's only so much I can do.
What if I don't have an agent,
that's where you come in?...
Like I said...
There's only so much I can do.
I don't know if you noticed, but
I Need work. I need money.
Then get a real fucking job!
Its not the end of the world,
We all do other things.
I just need more auditions, what so hard
for you to understand?
I can't really promise anything.
Well, try and make something happen!
What's up your ass?
I'm broke, Gil.
And I'm being evicted.
How'd the audition go?
Fine, I guess...
I'm meeting with him later today.
See?
Put in the work! I'm telling you!
Relax!
These things are pretty standard.
Who knows,
You may get a phone call at the
last minute.
am I right??
Yea, I guess.
These things happen all the time
And when they do call you...
do exactly what they say.
Go where they tell you to go...
As long as you get paid!!
Yea, but... sometimes..
(Doug stutters)
For the love of god! Just...
Do what they say...
(music in)
My Friend!
Hey, you shoulda called me!
No no no no--
I would have had somebody pick
you up. Oh, no sweat!
So, what's up?
So my fucking Producer!
I sent him over all the... all
the auditions...
and some of them from your
Manager sent them over..
I decided we're gonna get you in
on a Screen Test.
Really?
Here. Let me know when you're ready.
Its really hard to convince
these guys, you know?
And I spent so much time on this project
I think you're gonna knock it
out of the park!
Thing is, I got these Producer Heads
trying to tell me how to make my film.
You gotta find a middle ground somehow
and these guys just wanna take
over everything. …Ok, now wait a minute
They can't do that. Its your
vision, right?
Right. So... So why are they getting in the
way of your vision?
These guys are, like, wannabe Hollywood
So I tell them about my script and they're IN
And I'm...
I don't even feel like its my
film most of the time...
But... Who am I to say?
I'll tell you who you are!
You're the visionary.
You're the Director--You're the
guy who's gonna make it happen.
Alright, you ready for this?
Alright, Camera Speeds...
AAaaannnnd Action!
Its the most frustrating thing ever
When you have an idea and people
want to change it.
Hey, I've lived my whole life
like that.
I've had that vision, just like you
of being an artist, and trying
to nurture that...
And what happens? There's always someone
in the fucking way! Always!
I want this to stay true to its
roots. You know?
A grungy... Realistic struggle
of Man. --But now--!
CUT! Alright, great...
Ummm...this time, can we try it again?
Let's just do a little bit more
energetic, a little more
excited, pumped up...
When they came on board, did
they know about this?
I mean, to a degree.
AAAAnnnd Cut! Ok, Ummm...
Can we just do it again? Doug?
Let's try a little bit more smooth...you know?
A little more cool...
AAAAnnndd Action
And then they hear me talking'
about the script for five
minutes... They probably haven't
read the god damn thing
Hey, look, I'm in all the way.
So, you make this happen, you know i'm there.
Dedication. Doug: We're on the same page.
Do not, do not question it.
Whatever you need me to do, I'm
there for you.
Great!
AAAAAnnnd Cut! Ok Excellent.
Uh, this time, let's run it again
Do it like you want to fucking murder them.
You're gonna fucking rip their
head off. Alright?
Alright. And--Action!
You call that a Blowjob?!
We're gonna try this one more time...
I wanna see it like you're
trying to intimidate him.
Like you wanna murder them. I'll tell you this
I've had this recurring dream.
I wake up in this Malibu apartment,
Just beautiful...Ocean side view!
got a beautiful blonde bombshell
passed out across my chest
And there's 2 more half naked
TENS serving me coffee,
I look outside, right?
There's another one catching a tan
You know what this tells me?
Success is right around the corner,
Right around the corner! You and me?
We're gonna do this.
I'm telling' you, this could be ours.
This film
It has to work, its gonna work.
I put too much time into it for it not to.
So, you...
You just gotta be perfect.
Absolutely.
I wanna get back to the roots of
what Art is supposed to be.
So, whatever happens after this project,
You know, I just want you to
know its just business.
Yea, yea, no I understand.
And I'm all in. Whatever you need.
Well, I'm all in. Alright!
My man, my man, let's do this!
Excellent! That was perfect.
That was...you took my note, ran with it...
I loved it, man. Perfect!
Uhhh...yea!
I think that's all...thank you so much
I think we got it all, got some variations.
Thank you so much for coming!
Thank you, very much!
It means the world to me. For real.
No no no, I really appreciate
it.
If I know anything, it should be
the next couple of days...
Doug: Ok... Oliver: Gotta send the footage
over...
the Producers...they already
love you, so...
That's great!
I'll have my receptionist get in contact
If not me...
Hey, I'm looking forward
to hearing from you. I really
appreciate it. Anytime, Doug!
Its quite an experience.
I appreciate you coming in...
It was an experience for me,
too. Take care!
Thank you Have a good one!
... Management...
(knocks on door)
Hey, Amigo!... Como Estas?
Hey, you know why I'm here, right?
No...
Aww, come on, bro. You know as
well as I do...
Where will I go?
Hey, that's not my problem.
Hey, whats the matter? Your wife
kick you out or something?
Ye... Yea...
Hey, bro, relax...
Just listen to me, just listen...
... I can't...
You know, I'm telling you like it is...
You can't stay here tonight.
... Tonight?...
Yea, tonight!
You can't stay here any longer
like this.
Wh... Why not?
Why not? Because I run a legitimate
Business. Because I got paying
Customers that come in, they
stay & they leave.
You?!... You fancy this
like its some extended stay
hotel, or something.
Well, you know what? Its not!
You're gonna take your shit
And get outta here TONIGHT!
Over Phone: Hello! You've reached Gil Shepherd,
I'm not here right now, so please leave your name
and number and a reason for calling,
And I'll get back to you as soon as I can.
That is, If I'm not too busy in Paradise!
(beep)
Uh, yea, Gil, its uh... Its Doug.
Listen, I'm in pretty bad
shape... I... I... need you
to...
Help me out, ok?
Ok, listen, I don't know how-- how long
This phone is gonna last...
So, uh...I need, I need...
you to leave...
(street sounds)
(knocks) Who could that be?
(more knocks) Don't get up,
I got it.
(more knocks)
What are you doing here?
Can I come in? No!
Look, we need to talk.
I don't want to hear it.
Please, just listen to me
I--I don't know what else to do...
Fine!... Come in...
Who the fuck is this?
I should go. No!
You Stay!
What you have to say to me, you
can say in front of him.
Whatever...
Look...
I came here today to tell you...
You win.
You're stronger than me, you
always have been.
And... I can't...
Live like this...
Without you.
There, I said it.
Ok...
This isn't some kind of pissing contest, Doug...
And to be completely Frank,
I have no idea what you're
talking about.
I don't... know why I came
here today...I just...
I had nowhere else to go.
I've completely run out of options...
I have...
Nowhere else to go, no one to turn to...
How is that my problem?
Hmm?
I don't think I'm safe anymore.
I don't feel like myself anymore.
My whole life...
I just wanted to BE somebody.
So I could give you whatever you wanted.
(Ex-Wife chuckles)
You didn't have to be famous
to get my that, Doug.
All I wanted was a normal life, that's all...
You couldn't give it to me...
So I had to move on.
So, where do we go from here?...
I mean, what will I do?
Why don't you ask
your imaginary friends?
I don't know what you're talking about...
God, Doug, I have known you a long time
You talk to yourself...
And to be completely frank,
you've always acted like
a fucking crazy person, now why
don't you tell me
why you're really here, or get
the fuck
out of my house.
... So, this is it? --Yes!
I'm afraid so.
Good!
I hope you're happy.
You know, knowing you has been a
real nightmare!
I shoulda just left you on that bathroom floor
to bleed to death.
(Ex Wife laughs)
What's so funny? --You're delirious!
You think I tried to kill myself?
Oh my god, you're fucking insane!
No, no, I know what I saw!
You know, I was having a nice,
easy day and then I come home to
you
a bloody mess on that bathroom floor!
OK!!
Why are you here?
I need your help!
Go see a Psychiatrist, I'm not interested.
No, you see, I don't know what to do!
But be honest with you & come clean,
Why won't you listen to me?!
Because I am not fucking interested.
Why not?!
You're such a Monster!
Not the man I wasted my life with...
Oh, so now its my fault? Huh--Is
that what you're saying?
YES IT IS!
You coming here?!
It is your fault!
Yours...
Who do you think you are?
You think you're something special?
Well, you're not.
Time to get with reality, Doug, you're nothing!
You're a Nobody!
Don't you fucking get it yet?
Time has passed you by!
It happens, people die, life goes on!
And in the end, you will never do anything
remarkable, so you might as well
just... give it all up!
Or even better yet, do us all the favor and
fucking kill yourself.
Disappear!
Because the truth is, Doug,
nobody cares about you
and nobody ever will. You are a drain
on everyone and everything
And you always will be.
I have done y fair share of torture,
but now you'r worthless to me.
So, if you'll excuse us...
We'd like to... have our dinner,
So we can enjoy the rest of our evening.
If you will just...
... Let me ask you something...
What?!
... Is there any way...
I could borrow a few bucks?...
(Ex-Wife & Arthur laugh)
You have some... fucking...
Nerve!
(Get Out!) (Doug Stammers)
GET OUT! Of My House!!
I'm sorry?...
Get the fuck out!!
No, no, no, this is my house.
(laughing) OOOhhh! This is not
your house anymore.
Did you know who you're dealing with?
Get the fuck out of my house! Get out!
GET OUT!!
You wanna bury the truth,
And live a life of lies?!
Go for it!! I'm gonna be
Chillin' in my fucking hot tub!
You fucking cunt!! Fuck you!!
Hey!... Hey!
Wait!
I listened to what you said...
If I could recommend someone...
Who knows... He might be able to help you.
Thanks. Yea, Anytime...
Sorry, she gets
a little testy from time to time...
Yea...I know...
I kinda asked for it...
Well...Have a goodnight.
You too...
(I almost signed a guy rom
Playhouse West last night)
Excuse me? Excuse me...
I'm Doug Bridgers, I'm an actor...
Here's my headshot
I would love for you to represent me...
(laughing) What... Really?!
(laughs all around)
Do you believe this guy?
I mean, my Aunt's Dog's got Representation,
Why don't we give him a try?
What do you think?
Can we do something? UUUGGGHHHH.... Ummm,....
Sure, we'll represent you!
(laughs)
(bangs on table)
(water running)
(fart)
(phone vibrates)
Hello?...
Uh, yes, this is he...
Hey, Oliver, how's it going?
Uh, yea, that works...
perfect for me! 2 o'clock? Yea...
Ok, great...Great, thanks, Oliver!
Uh, hey, listen, is there anything you want me to wear?
Anything specific?
Ok... Ok.
2 o'clock, that sounds great!
Thanks a lot, man, I'll see you then. Thank you!
(Enter Latin Music)
(Doug coughs)
(Latin Music Ends)
(Murmuring lines to self)
(Murmuring Lines Louder)
(door opening)
Next! Arthur....
Tinkle... Tinkleberg...
Uhh... Tinklenberg... Its Tinklenberg...
Tinkleberg... --Tinklen...
Tinklenberg! --Yea, (chuckles)
(door closes)
Hi, my name is Arthur
Tinklenberg... (begins reading lines)
(exhales)
This is all a sham.
It doesn't matter...
Nothin' matters anymore.
Its not supposed to be a competition.
The bean counters, the Accountants
made it into a competition,
and its not funny anymore.
Sex sells,
For guys like us,
old guys, we're out.
This business has...
fucked up my life for the last time.
My marriage,
Everything! Its gone! Its all gone!
It wasn't supposed to happen this way.
Do yourself a favor,
Get out there...
live your life--whatever's left of it.
We're too late for our dreams,
So now its time to get fucking
Real, people.
(Arthur's lines returning)
I need a drink.
All yours
(Crash BANG REVEAL, Jazz Music)
(music fades)
Alright! Doug Bridgers, everybody...
Alrighty, you ready for this?
All set! Let's do this bad boy!
Wait, wait...
This is the guy?
Are you THE Doug Bridgers?
Yessir, that's me.
Donut Guy to self: What have I
seen... I've seen you in...
In Burnout, right? Burnout...
Yea, I did
That one a few years ago...
Yea, I like that one! Yea, I saw
it when I was in college.
Definitely, my uh...one of my favorites...
I liked it and I liked what you
been in after that, too.
Thanks... (?)
Yea, yea, nah, You look different so I saw
that...
Uh, OK! Uh, whenever you're ready...
Alright, Doug. Whenever you're ready,
Go ahead and slate for the camera...
(Doug gets ready)
Hi.... Doug Bridgers,
Reading for the role of GUY
Well, well, well,
Look who it is!
And who might you be?...
I'm the kinda guy crazy enough to take
This job
--Whoah whoah whoah! Ok...
Alright, that was great!
Absolutely great!
But umm...
Would you mind (still rolling)
--Would you mind, uh...
Doing these sides, please?
Ok...
(Doug clears throat) Do you want me to slate again?
No no no, just go right into it.
Ok... Doug Bridgers reading for the role of Ted...
Ah Ah AH! Hang on, please...
Did you like... the Roast?
Meh, too spicy...
Oh, i'm sorry...
I thought you always liked my cooking.
AH! Only when its good!
So?...
What did the Robertsons say?
Well... The Robinsons demanded more Potato Salad.
More Potato Salad??
Well, yes.
(Donut Guy Opens bag... Again...)
Doug: How much more Potato Salad did they request?
Well...I'm not sure.
I just know that eventually...
You can have too much Potato Salad...
Hey, man, what the fuck, Seriously?
'Cause I've...
Worked way too hard to be disrespected
like this...to be
Tossed around like some god damn rag doll.
I'm a mother fuckin' STAR GOD DAMMIT!!
Now you get someone in here that can
read these god damned lines...
Or am I supposed to stand here with my dick out?
and try to entertain you...
And fail miserably, probably, right?!
Aint that what you expect from me?
Is that what you want? I mean, is that what you enjoy?
Honestly?! Lemme ask you you--
Just fucking tell me if that's what you want!
Because I can handle that!
But this bullshit with his wrestling
and and his eating crap!
You don't disrespect people like me,
you fucking understand that?!
(Executives & Oliver laughing)
Man, this is amazing!
(Silence)
Uh, we're done here. Thank you.
(Doug stammers)
Oliver: Thank you for coming, Doug.
(Smacking knee, snap finger)
That's the fucking guy
Despite his freakout...
Fuck it, whatever, that's the guy!
Look, all I'm saying is this:
Either make a decision in the next 48 hours,
or we're gonna pull the show.
Everybody's replaceable, kid.
Even you.
Mark my fucking words.
(Sounds of the Metro Rail)
Sorry I'm late
Where were you?
Just got back from Puerto Rico!
Puerto Rico? Yea!
I had a good time...(chuckles)
It was great!
Finally got away from this shit hole, so..
Mission Accomplished!
So... You don't know about the callback?
You had a Callback? ... Yea...
I had a Callback. Oh, really?!
Of course, they made me wait forever
But I went in, and I performed.
Good for you!
Anyway, its Over.
Just like that.
What?
What are you talking about?
I'm finished, Gil.
Did you even go through with the audition?
Yea ... And?...
Its over.
Just like that?
Just like that.
What happened?
It got a little intense...
I think I had an anxiety attack
I--I clearly didn't listen to directions...
Anyway...
I need your help.
Help how?
I need to borrow a thousand dollars.
I know it sounds bad, but I can pay you back.
That can be arranged.
What's it for?...
Well...
If you want the money...
I need to get my car out of the impound.
Where you gonna go?
(exhales) Somewhere...
North, probably, fuck knows...
I just gotta get as far away from here as I can
See where the road takes me...
I'm sick of this whole new Hollywood Game...
That's not why I became an actor in the first place.
Yea!
Its a god damn shame nobody gives a fuck these days.
Look...
You know you can come to me for anything...
I've been doing pretty good lately,
Signing Clients,
Finally starting to see some money come in...
How much?
Enough.
Well, thanks for everything!
I'm really gonna miss you...
Hey... I'll see you when I see you.
(Radio Chatter)
Bye Bye L.A.
Goodbye Los Angeles!
Seriously?
Uhhh... Ok...
(Truck Hood pops)
(cough, cough)
(gag)
(Ocean Sounds)
So, why are we here again, Douglas?
All I ever wanted was to perform.
Nothin' else.
Just to Act.
I was good at it.
Its the only thing I could ever
do I was any good at...
That was 35 years ago...
Here's the deal:
I'm somebody!
And I had a wife...
and I had a house...
And I had a fuckin' life!
(crazy man laughs)
(laughing)
What did it get you?
(crying)
What would that get me?
I mean, what would fame get me?
Everything
(crazy chuckle)
I can have it all, right?
I mean... I can have everything I want!
Fuck yea! That's what you got--
you got everything!
And I want everything and I'm
gonna ride this
'till I die!
So let me tell you what I'm gonna do
I'm gonna saddle up and ride it
(Baby) I'm gonna ride it all the way...
'till I'm famous!
And I don't care what--nothin'
in the world is gonna
stop me, you got it?
Nothin'!
And you can ride along with me
or you can stand off to the side
but I'm going there.
What d'ya say?
You in?
Or you out...
'Cause I'm in.
All the way!
(waking up)
(urinating)
(Jazz Music)
How long do they want me for?
Seriously?
Ok--So how much?
How much are we talking?
No! Fucking forget--
I don't work for scale, Gil, you know that!
Hey--Hey--Hey!
I don't care what they say!
You go back in and re-negotiate!
You get me my price!
Gil, Gil, I don't wanna fucking
hear it, you understand?
Make it happen, that's it! Make
it happen. Bye!
Hey, man! Come on in! Heyyy!!
How ya doin'? Good to see ya!
Oh man! Come on in!
WOW! Nice place!
Thanks
Hey, I'm digging these floors...
Hey, you want some coffee?
Umm... Yea, I'd love some!
She likes it, so I'm a Happy Camper
Nice. ... Thanks, hon.
My Pleasure.
Aww, its beautiful, Doug.
Yea, it is!
Its a good place.
Its quiet and beautiful.
Yes, she is.
(chuckles)
So, what's up?
So, I got an email
If we on a Friday--not this Friday
but a couple Friday's from now
show up in Budapest for a Private Screening
of Dire Need, they'll give us a
$60,000 Cash Advance.
I mean... We need this...
Who knows! Maybe we can push our next project
and get $100,000
So, is there another project?
I mean, I want there to be.
I got tons of ideas for you, Doug.
Hey, so whatever happened to
those guys in New York?
Ahh, god... They, uh...
They fled the country!
Turns out, they were being tried for Fraud.
Seriously? Yea.
Unbelievable.
Well, at least we don't have to
worry about them anymore. Yea!
Those guys were sketchy.
After everything we went through
with those guys I'm...
I'm done with them.
You think there's... Any way we can get some
money in Budapest?
I think there's plenty of ways
we can get money in Budapest.
Those guys are loaded!
As long as you show up, and you're you
and you do your thing, and I'm me?!
Shit! Who knows? Maybe we'll be able to
Shoot our next project in Budapest...
Let's do it! Yea?
(clang)
Oliver: I'll give you a call later in the week
Let you know if anything changes
but...
For now? Get your Passport
ready, buddy!
(laughing) Yea!!
Alright, well, you guys have a good night!
(laughing at the innuendo)
(doorbell rings)
Hey, what's up, man? Come on in!
Got some good news for you!
Excellent!
You want some coffee?
Yea, I'd love some!
Great! Come on out back and
we'll gotcha some
So, what do you got for me?
Alright, hold your horses!
What are these?
I know some of it sounds dumb,
but for most of these...
its just a working title.
So, are they gonna change it? ... Yes...
These make me look like a Jackass?
No... (?) 'Cause I don't wanna look like a Jackass!
Why would you? (Gil’s Aggravated Chuckle)
Doug, you haven't worked in months!
Well, because you've brought me shit like this
No!... No!!
You landed a lead role and it
happened to be a hit!
Now, you have offers coming in. Finally!
And what?
You don't wanna "Look like a Jackass"?
I mean, now is not the time to be selective!
Do you want to continue to act
and keep up this lifestyle?
Make Money?...
You know, working for you is a constant struggle
I never said it was gonna be easy Gil:You know that, don't you?
That's the whole point, if you think about it
I mean, you're supposed to Gil: --No! Let me explain something
to you, Doug!
Nobody's gonna want to work with you if you keep
holding yourself back!
You have to embrace challenges head on!
Besides, what you do is easy!
I see kids do it all the time.
I can waste my time with them instead...
All I want is a real script, not this shit
you keep bringing me...
For the love of god, Doug!
Just do what they say!!
Go where they tell you to go!
Then you'll always be able to play and just...
do whatever you want to do!
Here's one where you play an Insurance Salesman...
Its what you wanted, right?
Maybe he commits murder or something...
Look, I can only do so much!
Oliver stopped by today.
... And?...
And I'm going to Budapest in
the next couple of weeks after this
shit show you got me on is over...
And then, I'm firing you.
Are you fucking kidding me?
Did you forget who got you this far?
And I thank you for helping me get this far,
but I'm gonna take my career in a whole different direction.
I wanna go a little further...
That's why you're fired.
Nothin' personal, just Business.
"Nothing Personal, Just Business"
Awesome!
Thank god you're here!
Wouldn't miss it for the world! How's it going?
Good, good. Come on over here, we got everything set up for you
Ok... --We're running a little late, but we should pick up
the slack after lunch...
But if you have a seat right here,
we'll be right with you. Thanks!
(Sounds of the Hollywood Streets)