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Downloaded from
YTS.MX

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[soulful music plays]

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Official YIFY movies site:
YTS.MX

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San Francisco, it's my honor
to introduce to you

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the voice of our generation,

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my big homie,

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El Más Chingón,

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George Lopez!

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Qué chingados.

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[audience cheering]

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I said, qué chingados!

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[audience cheering]

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For those of you who don't understand...

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Same shit.

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Let me tell you
a little bit about myself.

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My name is George Lopez.

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[audience cheering and applauding]

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I have one kidney that's not mine...

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and dementia runs in my family,

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so I didn't come here to fuck around,
San Francisco!

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[audience cheering and applauding]

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There's a thing going on here
with the way the shit is right now.

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That's my politics, "The way the shit is."

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I gotta tell you
the way shit is right now.

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People who have served this country,
Latino veterans,

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have been deported
from the United States of America.

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That cannot happen.

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That's bullshit.

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Anybody that's willing to die
for this country

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should be able to live in this country.
You hear what I'm saying?

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You hear what I'm saying?

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[audience cheering and applauding]

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If you take care of people's kids

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and you spend more time with
fucking their kids than with your own...

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you should be allowed to live
in this country.

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[audience cheering and whooping]

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You want to talk about a pathway
to citizenship? We already have it.

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It's called the panocha.

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If you're born here,
you fucking stay here.

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The panocha path...

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The pathway to citizen--
What about cesarean section?

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También. Los dos.

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[audience laughs]

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We're not those people, you know.

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Hard-working. Don't fucking demonize us.

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Listen, ICE and all that bullshit
Homeland Security...

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If they want to do all that bullshit,
if they want to deport people...

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-[audience booing]
-Don't...

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-[man in audience] They are putos!
-I'm on your side, relax.

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[audience laughs]

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Don't fucking go on at me. I wrote it.
I know what's coming.

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Don't go to the works,

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don't go to the schools,
don't go to the jobs.

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All right?
Let the people in the families decide.

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Let them Latinos decide...

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who gets deported.

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[audience laughs]

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Because we all have relatives
that we like...

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and some that you're like, "Hey."

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Four o'clock in the morning,
"Tía, wake up.

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They want you."

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"Who?" "Mexico."

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"What?

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Mexico wants me?" "Yeah, come on."

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"Tío también, let's go. They want you.

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El Salvador." "Salvador?"

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"El Salvador, come on, let's go."

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"Tía, you don't need a bra. Go like that."

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[audience laughs]

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Fucking all... Fucking legañas.

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Now, you know, the police...
They've got to be smarter to be Latino.

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Before we could just
pretend not to speak English.

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Now, because of ICE,

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you fucking get pulled over, they don't
ask for driver's license or registration,

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they fucking get to it.

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"Do you speak English?" You're like, "Ay!"

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Under your breath, "Qué culo, chinga!"

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[in Spanish accent] "Yes.

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[audience laughs]

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"I can stay? Órale.
I can stay? Oh, my God! I mean..."

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That used to be the go-to.

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Back in the day, you could pretend
not to speak English.

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The cop would pull you over.

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"You wanna get out the car?"
"Pero no entiendo."

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"Fuck. Okay, go.

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I don't know.
I don't know what they're saying."

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We used to pretend to not speak English.
They would let us go.

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Now they hit you
with a fucking palo, that nightstick.

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That'll get the English out.

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"Get out of the car." "Pero no entiendo.

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[thumps]

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"Oh, you want me to get out of the car?"

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[audience laughs]

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"Oh, my God!

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Hijo de la chingada, dude. I got it."

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Asking to leave a fucking chipote
on my fucking ass.

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This is how great
people from other countries are.

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Not us. We're all used to being here.
People who come here.

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I had a guy working on my roof,
two stories.

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He fell back.

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Fell off my house
and landed on his back.

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[thumps]

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Fuck, I went out there.
He fucking apologized to me...

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for falling off my fucking house.
I'm like, "Are you all right?"

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He goes, "Ay, perdón."

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"What? You fell off my house!"

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He goes, "Don't fire me!"
I'm like, "What the fuck?"

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Then he says some crazy shit.

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He goes, "I'll stay over time
for the time I was in the air."

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[audience laughs]

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What the fuck?

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I said,
"Where can I get fucking ten more?"

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He said, "Honk the horn!"
[imitates honking]

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You know, they say
that Rome wasn't built in a day.

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They say Rome wasn't built in a day.

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As a chicano, I say, hey,
they fucking hired the wrong people.

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[audience laughs]

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[audience cheering]

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You didn't need permits?

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You didn't need permits.
Fuck, at 9:30 in the morning,

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"Yeah, we finished the Colosseum.
Qué más?

122
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You want where people can sit down?"

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Hey, the future is--
All that bullshit with a wall...

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I don't know. Maybe they're waiting
for permits. I don't know.

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Me and about five vatos, we could've
already built that fucking wall like that!

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We'd be done.

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We won't build it so heavy

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that it crushes the fucking tunnels
that we have under. [exclaims]

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[audience member whistling]

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Pásale!

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You know...

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I'll tell you, man.

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You fuck with street vendors
and panhandlers now--

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You can have a guy out there,
"Spare change? Spare change?"

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And they always get defended.
"Maybe he's mentally ill?"

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"Oh, yeah? Some vato trying to sell you
nine pounds of fucking fruit

137
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for five dollars isn't crazy?"

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[audience laughs]

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Even when you say, "How much is it?"
"Five dollars." "Ta loco!"

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That fucker's crazy.

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Listen, we all have a fucking incredible
sense of humor, the Latinos,

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because people in our families

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are sometimes funnier than the other
fucking people you meet in real life.

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[audience laughs]

145
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I had a tío. My tío was fucking crazy.

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He got hit by a woman in a hit and run.

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And the woman took off
and they called the police.

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And the police told my uncle,
"Hey, can you describe her?"

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My uncle was like...

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"Yeah, I mean, you know, I'd fuck her.

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Ta buena. Huh, George? Ta buena.

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Yeah, write that down.

153
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Que estaba buena la cabrona."

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With a star, so they know.

155
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You know... And everything's a joke.
The doctor, you know, the doctor's like,

156
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"Have you ever had a sexually
transmitted disease?" He's like...

157
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[audience laughs]

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"What do you think?

159
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You hear that, Doctor? What do you think?

160
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Remember cuando me salieron los granos?"

161
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[audience laughs]

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"Don't write that down."

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They don't want to listen
to the fucking doctor. They told him...

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They told him,

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"You have a fucking enlarged liver,
you've got cirrhosis.

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You've got gangrene in your pata."

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They said, "If you drink you will die."

168
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My uncle went like this
to the doctor, "Oh..."

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"Fuck him. Let's go.

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He sees me one time, he fucking thinks
he knows me. Fuck him.

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What if I drink? You're not gonna
fucking be there. You won't know.

172
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Don't waste my time with bullshit."

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You know. It's all different.
We're not trying to live forever.

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We don't want to go to the doctor.

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We don't want to know if we're sick.
We know.

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All right? I know
what this sounds like... [gasping]

177
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In the middle of the night... [gasping]

178
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Your fucking pata, your shoes don't fit
on Monday morning. You know.

179
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You might have high blood pressure.

180
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Too much salt.
We put salt on the food

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and we haven't even fucking tasted it.
The minute it lands…

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[audience laughs]

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We just eat.

184
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We don't want to know.

185
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Listen, prostate cancer--

186
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This is where I lose all the dudes.

187
00:09:42,248 --> 00:09:44,667
Prostate cancer is the number-one killer

188
00:09:44,750 --> 00:09:47,086
of Latino men because the only way
they can check is...

189
00:09:47,169 --> 00:09:48,254
[whistles]

190
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Por atrás.

191
00:09:53,217 --> 00:09:56,012
Your fucking dad or your uncle's like,
"Chale! No way.

192
00:09:57,263 --> 00:10:00,016
I'd rather be dead
than have somebody touching my culo."

193
00:10:01,475 --> 00:10:02,768
Sober? No.

194
00:10:05,229 --> 00:10:06,814
Nope, not sober. Chale.

195
00:10:07,732 --> 00:10:11,027
Maybe catch me when I get home,
before I change, before we go to sleep.

196
00:10:13,154 --> 00:10:16,365
No. They still drink,
they still do all that shit.

197
00:10:16,574 --> 00:10:18,909
He went to the bathroom
like ten times a night.

198
00:10:18,993 --> 00:10:21,829
After like ten years, my tía's like,
"You got to go to the doctor."

199
00:10:21,912 --> 00:10:22,955
After ten years.

200
00:10:23,789 --> 00:10:25,958
The doctor looks at him,
"You have prostate cancer."

201
00:10:26,042 --> 00:10:28,252
He looks at his wife,
"You fucking heard what he told me?

202
00:10:28,919 --> 00:10:31,339
You heard? I heard.
Tell her because I heard

203
00:10:32,048 --> 00:10:33,758
that I have prostate cancer. Chinga!

204
00:10:33,841 --> 00:10:36,844
You made me come to the doctor,
and fucking now I got prostate cancer."

205
00:10:36,927 --> 00:10:38,846
[audience laughs]

206
00:10:38,929 --> 00:10:41,807
"Ah, fuck. I didn't have it yesterday,
but fucking today...

207
00:10:41,932 --> 00:10:43,934
I got it. I couldn't even feel...

208
00:10:44,894 --> 00:10:46,437
Touching... Touching...

209
00:10:50,149 --> 00:10:51,984
We don't wanna live forever.

210
00:10:52,443 --> 00:10:56,197
We're not trying to make sure
that everything we eat is good for us.

211
00:10:56,280 --> 00:10:57,198
We know. Listen...

212
00:10:58,366 --> 00:11:01,035
When you go to a Mexican restaurant,
you already know

213
00:11:01,952 --> 00:11:04,288
that we cook with...
Fuck it, man, take a look at us.

214
00:11:06,123 --> 00:11:09,126
We fuck obesity up. By the third grade,
we already said goodbye.

215
00:11:11,212 --> 00:11:13,339
"See you later, obesity.
Fuck, I passed you."

216
00:11:15,424 --> 00:11:17,760
And then little Latinos are all fat,
you know.

217
00:11:18,678 --> 00:11:22,306
You try to make them feel better.
You're like, "Mira, mijo, you were…

218
00:11:22,390 --> 00:11:24,975
You were going to be twins.
That's why you're... you know.

219
00:11:26,268 --> 00:11:28,979
You don't hear a voice
telling you you're full, no?

220
00:11:32,358 --> 00:11:35,486
You might listen, it might be your sister,
but they're trying to tell you."

221
00:11:36,112 --> 00:11:38,656
Bigger chichis
than everybody in the family at 11.

222
00:11:40,032 --> 00:11:41,450
"Hey, tetas, come out here."

223
00:11:41,534 --> 00:11:42,576
[audience laughs]

224
00:11:43,035 --> 00:11:45,871
That's how you get your nickname.
You shit in your pants one time,

225
00:11:46,539 --> 00:11:48,332
you're Caca for the rest of your life.

226
00:11:49,417 --> 00:11:52,837
It could be a grown man, fucking Caca.
"Guess who's getting married."

227
00:11:52,920 --> 00:11:53,796
"Who?"

228
00:11:54,588 --> 00:11:55,631
"Caca." "Fuck!"

229
00:11:57,174 --> 00:11:58,634
"Caca's getting married?"

230
00:11:59,552 --> 00:12:01,512
"And his wife is pregnant." "Chingado!

231
00:12:02,471 --> 00:12:05,224
They're gonna have fucking Cacitas
running around.

232
00:12:08,185 --> 00:12:10,062
Caca's getting married, huh? Shit.

233
00:12:10,980 --> 00:12:12,648
Fucking Caca. Good for Caca."

234
00:12:14,233 --> 00:12:15,192
We all know.

235
00:12:15,776 --> 00:12:18,821
Our parents... Shit, we were raised
by the original body-shamers.

236
00:12:18,904 --> 00:12:20,698
They didn't give a fuck what age you were.

237
00:12:22,032 --> 00:12:25,244
They'd be leaving for work,
"Hey, you two fat fuckers right there.

238
00:12:25,327 --> 00:12:26,746
[audience laughs]

239
00:12:26,829 --> 00:12:28,706
"You better not be on that couch
when I get home.

240
00:12:28,789 --> 00:12:31,876
Gordo One and fucking Gordo Two.
You hear me?" We would answer,

241
00:12:31,959 --> 00:12:32,960
"Yeah." "All right.

242
00:12:34,044 --> 00:12:35,588
Fucking clean yourselves, come on.

243
00:12:36,547 --> 00:12:39,300
Try your shoes on, see if they fit.
It's already been two days."

244
00:12:42,553 --> 00:12:45,639
My grandmother raised me.
She lived to be 89. She had, uh...

245
00:12:46,348 --> 00:12:47,933
Dementia got her. Fuck, chinga.

246
00:12:48,225 --> 00:12:50,436
This is how bad Latinas are,
older Latinas.

247
00:12:50,519 --> 00:12:54,273
The doctor said, "You have Alzheimer's."
She stood up and goes, "Can I go?"

248
00:12:55,941 --> 00:12:57,943
I said, "Did you hear what he said?"
My grandma said,

249
00:12:58,027 --> 00:13:00,404
"Wait a minute.
Fucking do you have it or do I?"

250
00:13:00,488 --> 00:13:03,115
[audience laughs]

251
00:13:07,036 --> 00:13:10,039
"I asked you for a fucking ride,
I didn't ask for your fucking opinion."

252
00:13:11,832 --> 00:13:14,668
And then I said, "What's going to happen?"
The doctor said,

253
00:13:14,752 --> 00:13:18,547
"You're going to start to forget places,
you're going to start to forget people..."

254
00:13:18,631 --> 00:13:21,383
My grandma was, "Wait a minute.
Mira, you don't know me…

255
00:13:22,802 --> 00:13:25,679
and you don't know my life.
This is for both of you."

256
00:13:27,139 --> 00:13:30,518
She looked at us as she said,
"I can't fucking wait to forget people."

257
00:13:30,601 --> 00:13:33,270
[audience laughs and applauds]

258
00:13:33,354 --> 00:13:36,440
Then she looked at me and goes, "Come on,
Larry, let's get the fuck out of here!"

259
00:13:41,987 --> 00:13:44,281
If you're looking for sympathy,
you're not gonna find it…

260
00:13:45,533 --> 00:13:46,992
in the Latino community.

261
00:13:48,244 --> 00:13:49,829
You could be fucking crying

262
00:13:49,912 --> 00:13:52,623
and they go, "What's the matter with you?"
"Fuck! The doctor...

263
00:13:53,290 --> 00:13:56,335
The doctor told me that I have cancer."
You're like, "Whoo!"

264
00:13:56,961 --> 00:13:58,045
"What's the matter with you?

265
00:13:58,128 --> 00:14:00,005
Fuck, I thought you were gonna
tell me I had it.

266
00:14:02,424 --> 00:14:06,303
Hey, don't be fucking crying.
Look at me. You've got me all... Fuck!

267
00:14:08,264 --> 00:14:09,515
How long did he give you?"

268
00:14:09,640 --> 00:14:10,933
"Uh, three months."

269
00:14:11,392 --> 00:14:14,228
"Oh, so you're not going to be here
for Valentine's Day?"

270
00:14:14,311 --> 00:14:16,063
[audience laughs]

271
00:14:16,146 --> 00:14:19,149
"Fuck, it is my birthday about that day.
You're not gonna be here?

272
00:14:19,233 --> 00:14:20,651
Why? You don't wanna be here

273
00:14:20,734 --> 00:14:23,571
or because the doctor told you
you're not going to fucking be here?

274
00:14:24,029 --> 00:14:26,156
Aguántate. Fuck. Hey, come on."

275
00:14:28,909 --> 00:14:30,160
It's a different culture.

276
00:14:30,828 --> 00:14:36,166
You know, I think white dudes, their goal
is to walk their daughter down the aisle.

277
00:14:36,584 --> 00:14:39,044
"I just want to be there… [sniffles]

278
00:14:39,503 --> 00:14:41,380
...on Kelsey's big day."

279
00:14:42,882 --> 00:14:45,801
All fucking Latino dudes, we're like,
"I just want to outlive everybody

280
00:14:45,885 --> 00:14:46,927
that fucking hates me."

281
00:14:47,011 --> 00:14:48,679
[audience laughs]

282
00:14:48,762 --> 00:14:50,097
The fuck, yeah.

283
00:14:50,347 --> 00:14:51,682
Aguántate, cabrón.

284
00:14:52,808 --> 00:14:55,853
My grandmother found me making a list
of people that I wanted to kill.

285
00:14:57,897 --> 00:15:00,774
And she said, "What the fuck?
Let me see, pendejo. What is this?

286
00:15:01,150 --> 00:15:02,902
A list of people you want to kill?

287
00:15:03,819 --> 00:15:06,405
Mira, the first two, pendejo,
they're already dead. These two here.

288
00:15:07,907 --> 00:15:10,618
And the last two are on my list.
Come on, I'll fucking help you."

289
00:15:10,701 --> 00:15:12,703
[audience laughs]

290
00:15:15,831 --> 00:15:16,957
It's a different...

291
00:15:17,958 --> 00:15:19,084
It's a different vibe.

292
00:15:20,085 --> 00:15:20,920
You know.

293
00:15:21,003 --> 00:15:25,341
We don't want to live forever.
We just want to live right now.

294
00:15:25,716 --> 00:15:27,968
And we're so easy.
My uncle would just get mad.

295
00:15:28,052 --> 00:15:30,387
You could just make up a situation.

296
00:15:30,471 --> 00:15:33,849
You go, "Tío, who would win between...

297
00:15:33,933 --> 00:15:35,184
Annabelle...

298
00:15:36,852 --> 00:15:37,937
and La Llorona?"

299
00:15:40,689 --> 00:15:41,649
"Who do you think?

300
00:15:42,399 --> 00:15:46,487
Fuck, La Llorona would beat the shit
out of fucking Annabelle.

301
00:15:46,570 --> 00:15:48,030
That's a fucking doll.

302
00:15:48,948 --> 00:15:51,283
Mira, she'd drown her own fucking kids.

303
00:15:51,367 --> 00:15:53,619
You don't think she'll fuck a doll up?

304
00:15:54,745 --> 00:15:56,830
Fuck, you changed. You changed."

305
00:15:59,208 --> 00:16:00,459
I rescue, uh...

306
00:16:01,126 --> 00:16:02,169
I rescue dogs.

307
00:16:02,252 --> 00:16:03,963
[audience cheering and applauding]

308
00:16:06,382 --> 00:16:08,801
I didn't say I love dogs.
I said I rescue them.

309
00:16:09,927 --> 00:16:12,012
There's a difference. Pinche perros.

310
00:16:12,096 --> 00:16:15,099
Latino gets mad for a dog doing the shit
it's supposed to do. He's barking...

311
00:16:15,182 --> 00:16:17,267
[barks] "Hey, shut the..."

312
00:16:20,270 --> 00:16:22,106
They have some CBD treats.

313
00:16:23,565 --> 00:16:25,442
For dogs. CBD...

314
00:16:26,360 --> 00:16:30,739
treats for dogs. I gave some to my dogs
about six months ago.

315
00:16:31,657 --> 00:16:33,450
Not a fucking sound.

316
00:16:35,035 --> 00:16:36,203
They're in the house, like...

317
00:16:36,829 --> 00:16:38,831
[audience laughs]

318
00:16:43,085 --> 00:16:44,211
[shushing]

319
00:16:50,801 --> 00:16:52,469
'Cause dogs show respect.

320
00:16:52,886 --> 00:16:55,347
Dogs love you.
They don't care what you look like.

321
00:16:55,639 --> 00:16:58,475
You could be feito. You could be...
They're the best.

322
00:16:58,934 --> 00:16:59,893
They're the best.

323
00:17:02,438 --> 00:17:05,190
'Cause we don't do good
with emotional-support animals.

324
00:17:05,274 --> 00:17:06,108
That's not...

325
00:17:06,942 --> 00:17:08,861
That's not a good thing for our culture.

326
00:17:08,944 --> 00:17:11,530
My uncle was walking around
with a fucking goat. I thought it was...

327
00:17:12,656 --> 00:17:14,742
an emotional-support animal.

328
00:17:15,325 --> 00:17:16,869
He had it under his arm.

329
00:17:18,746 --> 00:17:21,248
Then I saw him, he didn't have it.
"Que pasó? Where's the goat?"

330
00:17:21,331 --> 00:17:23,000
"Fuck, he was delicious."

331
00:17:23,083 --> 00:17:24,793
[audience laughs]

332
00:17:25,961 --> 00:17:28,589
"He was emotionally supporting me.
We all felt...

333
00:17:29,840 --> 00:17:32,551
so much love for him
after we were done eating. Ay!"

334
00:17:36,055 --> 00:17:37,056
That's who we are.

335
00:17:37,139 --> 00:17:40,100
You know, you're going to get older,
you got to make sure

336
00:17:40,184 --> 00:17:42,561
that you're aware
of what's happening with you.

337
00:17:42,644 --> 00:17:44,646
When you get older, when guys get older…

338
00:17:44,730 --> 00:17:48,275
When you're young, your body's tight.
No sounds come out. Nothing.

339
00:17:49,109 --> 00:17:50,694
Culo… [sucks air] tight.

340
00:17:51,153 --> 00:17:51,987
It's 18.

341
00:17:52,988 --> 00:17:53,822
Nice.

342
00:17:54,656 --> 00:17:56,408
You get older, you're walking.

343
00:17:56,492 --> 00:17:59,495
"Hey, open this thing for me."
Opening some pickles in the summer.

344
00:18:02,372 --> 00:18:03,791
You're turning... [imitates farting]

345
00:18:10,422 --> 00:18:12,800
They come into the kitchen, "What?"
[sniffs deeply]

346
00:18:14,051 --> 00:18:16,011
"Who bought the pickles
that smell like shit?

347
00:18:17,012 --> 00:18:18,639
Take 'em back. Take 'em back.

348
00:18:19,640 --> 00:18:21,934
And tell them that they smell like shit.
Take 'em back."

349
00:18:24,144 --> 00:18:25,771
You try to stay young and you can't.

350
00:18:25,854 --> 00:18:27,773
You're walking, pedos come out.
[imitates farting]

351
00:18:29,108 --> 00:18:30,109
[imitates farting]

352
00:18:30,567 --> 00:18:31,652
You go to the bathroom,

353
00:18:31,735 --> 00:18:34,321
you think you're done pissing,
more piss comes out. [exclaims]

354
00:18:34,822 --> 00:18:37,449
It's like trying to learn
how to drive stick all over you.

355
00:18:40,244 --> 00:18:42,788
So be happy when you're young.
Live every day...

356
00:18:43,372 --> 00:18:44,915
as the greatest day of your life.

357
00:18:44,998 --> 00:18:46,458
Live every day.

358
00:18:46,542 --> 00:18:47,584
[audience cheering]

359
00:18:47,668 --> 00:18:48,502
Live!

360
00:18:50,337 --> 00:18:54,299
Don't wait to be sick to want to live.
Fucking live when you're fucking healthy.

361
00:18:54,383 --> 00:18:55,843
That's when you're really living.

362
00:18:55,926 --> 00:18:57,803
You're not worried about anybody else.

363
00:18:57,886 --> 00:19:00,264
You're doing your own shit, you know?

364
00:19:00,722 --> 00:19:02,599
You get older, your kids grow up.

365
00:19:02,724 --> 00:19:04,893
They love you, not fighting any more.

366
00:19:05,477 --> 00:19:07,646
You know, you're not drinking
to black out.

367
00:19:09,106 --> 00:19:11,066
The holiday season, any holiday,

368
00:19:11,692 --> 00:19:13,318
fucking somebody's blacked out.

369
00:19:14,403 --> 00:19:16,822
Next morning you wake up,
somebody's got a black eye.

370
00:19:16,905 --> 00:19:19,366
You're like, "Chinga!
What happened to you?"

371
00:19:19,449 --> 00:19:21,451
[breathes heavily]

372
00:19:22,244 --> 00:19:23,620
"You fucking asshole."

373
00:19:25,038 --> 00:19:27,708
"That's probably what it was.
A bad attitude to have, you can't….

374
00:19:29,418 --> 00:19:32,045
talk like that to people.
They're gonna fuck you up."

375
00:19:33,297 --> 00:19:36,300
But that's us. Listen, this is...

376
00:19:36,884 --> 00:19:38,427
how we live, you know.

377
00:19:38,927 --> 00:19:41,430
Now kids don't understand it.
You know, they...

378
00:19:41,513 --> 00:19:44,308
they're into the...

379
00:19:44,600 --> 00:19:47,060
You know, Halloween,
nobody can wear a mask

380
00:19:47,853 --> 00:19:49,897
because you might scare the other kids.

381
00:19:51,523 --> 00:19:53,483
Listen, if your fucking kid is so stupid

382
00:19:53,567 --> 00:19:55,444
he don't know that that's really...

383
00:19:56,528 --> 00:19:58,947
not the fucking Wolverine
sitting next to him,

384
00:20:00,532 --> 00:20:02,492
pull that motherfucker out of school...

385
00:20:03,118 --> 00:20:04,453
and save your money.

386
00:20:04,536 --> 00:20:06,830
Fucking homeschool them.

387
00:20:07,789 --> 00:20:11,376
Get a storage unit so he can take care
of your stuff. He can be right there.

388
00:20:13,128 --> 00:20:17,633
Fucking Halloween is the last holiday
that we... Listen,

389
00:20:17,716 --> 00:20:22,596
Latino, we trick or treat
into our fucking early, mid-50s.

390
00:20:24,139 --> 00:20:25,182
We don't even want candy,

391
00:20:25,265 --> 00:20:27,059
we just want to look in your house.
[thumping]

392
00:20:30,187 --> 00:20:32,189
"Fuck. Ta bonito. Fuck. How many...

393
00:20:32,814 --> 00:20:34,816
How many fucking lamps do you guys need?

394
00:20:34,900 --> 00:20:36,652
Fuck, they've got plenty of shit."

395
00:20:37,569 --> 00:20:39,112
Homemade costumes.

396
00:20:40,322 --> 00:20:41,698
Fucking your dad's boots.

397
00:20:43,367 --> 00:20:45,035
Some dish-washing gloves.

398
00:20:46,286 --> 00:20:47,829
Some racquetball glasses.

399
00:20:48,538 --> 00:20:51,333
You will knock on the door.
They open the door. "Fuck, chingados!

400
00:20:52,125 --> 00:20:54,378
Who are you supposed to be?"
"I'm self-made."

401
00:20:54,753 --> 00:20:56,421
[audience laughs]

402
00:20:57,089 --> 00:20:59,466
"Trick-or-treat and are there any odd jobs
that we could...

403
00:21:00,842 --> 00:21:03,178
I noticed some tiles loose
on the driveway.

404
00:21:04,263 --> 00:21:05,264
Si or no?"

405
00:21:08,600 --> 00:21:12,145
The crazy thing about our parents
when you see people is that

406
00:21:12,229 --> 00:21:15,065
all the parents are nice now.
It's almost like having two moms.

407
00:21:15,148 --> 00:21:18,986
You know, "You can do whatever you want.
Be careful." Fucking, our parents,

408
00:21:19,319 --> 00:21:21,071
they could be mean and nice

409
00:21:21,571 --> 00:21:23,365
at the same time.
"You wanna do me a favor?

410
00:21:23,448 --> 00:21:24,866
Get the fuck out of here.

411
00:21:25,993 --> 00:21:26,827
Thank you."

412
00:21:31,748 --> 00:21:35,919
That's why I say
teach your kids good from bad.

413
00:21:37,254 --> 00:21:38,922
Teach them right from wrong.

414
00:21:39,423 --> 00:21:43,176
And most importantly, teach
those fucking pendejos the difference

415
00:21:44,136 --> 00:21:45,512
between fireworks...

416
00:21:46,221 --> 00:21:47,431
and gunfire.

417
00:21:49,057 --> 00:21:49,975
We know.

418
00:21:50,851 --> 00:21:52,185
We already know.

419
00:21:52,686 --> 00:21:55,314
We know what a fucking sparkler
fucking sounds like.

420
00:21:56,231 --> 00:21:57,941
When we hear a fucking...
[imitates gunfire]

421
00:21:58,025 --> 00:21:59,484
You're fucking already gone.

422
00:22:03,947 --> 00:22:04,948
It's different. Listen,

423
00:22:05,032 --> 00:22:08,535
one thing we don't do
is we don't disrespect our parents.

424
00:22:08,618 --> 00:22:10,370
This has never been done.

425
00:22:10,454 --> 00:22:13,582
Or stepparents.
Let me cover all the bases.

426
00:22:14,833 --> 00:22:16,585
You know, we don't talk back.

427
00:22:16,960 --> 00:22:20,505
I was in the airport and this little kid
said to his mom,

428
00:22:21,006 --> 00:22:22,132
"I hate you."

429
00:22:22,841 --> 00:22:25,010
And everybody in airport was like, "Oh!"

430
00:22:27,262 --> 00:22:30,474
Then we looked and the lady was crying.
We're like, "What the fuck? Hey!

431
00:22:32,142 --> 00:22:33,643
Fuck his ass up.

432
00:22:34,728 --> 00:22:37,314
That's the only way he's gonna learn.
Fuck him up."

433
00:22:38,523 --> 00:22:41,401
And everybody in the airport was going,
"Fuck him up!

434
00:22:41,985 --> 00:22:43,278
Fuck him up!

435
00:22:43,779 --> 00:22:46,198
Fuck him up!"
Then the fucking Latinos came up.

436
00:22:46,281 --> 00:22:49,451
♪ A la bimba, a la boom
A la bim, bom, ba ♪

437
00:22:49,534 --> 00:22:51,244
♪ Chingazos, chingazos ♪

438
00:22:51,328 --> 00:22:52,829
♪ Ra, ra, ra ♪

439
00:22:53,080 --> 00:22:55,082
[audience whooping and cheering]

440
00:22:57,084 --> 00:22:58,377
And she said,

441
00:22:58,752 --> 00:23:00,379
"I've never hit him in his life."

442
00:23:00,462 --> 00:23:02,464
I said, "All right, then.
You get on the plane

443
00:23:02,547 --> 00:23:03,799
and we'll fuck him up."

444
00:23:03,882 --> 00:23:05,258
[audience laughs]

445
00:23:05,342 --> 00:23:07,177
"Because he's gotta get fucked up."

446
00:23:08,011 --> 00:23:10,389
Better he do it with some people
that are flying with him.

447
00:23:11,723 --> 00:23:14,976
One time I told my grandmother,
when I was eight, oh,

448
00:23:15,477 --> 00:23:16,561
I said, "I hate you!"

449
00:23:17,020 --> 00:23:19,189
And she must've had one in the chambers.

450
00:23:21,024 --> 00:23:22,109
"You hate me?

451
00:23:23,527 --> 00:23:25,570
Mira, cabrón. I fucking hated you first.

452
00:23:26,863 --> 00:23:29,908
Come on, fucking get it out. Get it out.

453
00:23:29,991 --> 00:23:32,369
I can take it. Let it out, cabrón.

454
00:23:32,744 --> 00:23:35,497
I hated you when you were born.
When I went to the hospital...

455
00:23:35,580 --> 00:23:37,332
When you were born,
I went to the maternity, I said,

456
00:23:37,416 --> 00:23:39,334
'Which is my grandson? The third one?'

457
00:23:40,877 --> 00:23:41,920
Come on.

458
00:23:42,629 --> 00:23:43,755
Get it out.

459
00:23:45,006 --> 00:23:47,217
Cabrón, I hated you
when they were fucking making you.

460
00:23:48,635 --> 00:23:50,804
In the house, I could hear... [moans]

461
00:23:51,680 --> 00:23:53,932
You know what I said?
'Fucking swallow them!'"

462
00:23:54,015 --> 00:23:56,017
[audience laughs]

463
00:23:59,646 --> 00:24:01,148
That's how you get respect.

464
00:24:03,733 --> 00:24:04,860
All this bullshit.

465
00:24:06,445 --> 00:24:09,072
When Latina husbands die,
they never get remarried.

466
00:24:09,156 --> 00:24:11,616
Cabrón, they wanna be...
They wanna feel the pain.

467
00:24:11,700 --> 00:24:12,826
[moans]

468
00:24:13,827 --> 00:24:16,079
"Today is the day that my world ended."

469
00:24:17,372 --> 00:24:19,708
"What? What the fuck
are you talking about?"

470
00:24:19,791 --> 00:24:20,917
"Today's the day...

471
00:24:21,918 --> 00:24:23,628
that the love of my life...

472
00:24:25,046 --> 00:24:26,882
went to heaven." You're like,

473
00:24:27,924 --> 00:24:29,468
"What the fuck are you...

474
00:24:30,051 --> 00:24:31,052
The cat?"

475
00:24:31,136 --> 00:24:32,637
[audience laughs]

476
00:24:32,721 --> 00:24:34,514
"My husband, pendejo."

477
00:24:35,182 --> 00:24:37,809
He could be the worst fucking guy
when he was alive,

478
00:24:38,852 --> 00:24:41,813
but when he dies, you're like,
"Who the fuck are they talking about?"

479
00:24:45,150 --> 00:24:47,777
"Who are you talking about?"
"My husband, chinga cabrón."

480
00:24:48,278 --> 00:24:49,112
"Tía,

481
00:24:49,946 --> 00:24:51,573
didn't he light you on fire?"

482
00:24:51,656 --> 00:24:53,658
[audience laughs]

483
00:24:56,620 --> 00:24:59,623
"But the food wasn't ready.
Mira, don't blame him, all right?"

484
00:25:00,957 --> 00:25:03,543
"Tía, at the fucking park, he hit you…

485
00:25:04,252 --> 00:25:05,170
in the back…

486
00:25:05,921 --> 00:25:07,172
with a shovel."

487
00:25:08,924 --> 00:25:10,842
"I didn't duck, fucking smart-ass."

488
00:25:14,971 --> 00:25:18,767
Never be alone.
Find somebody that you love.

489
00:25:18,850 --> 00:25:20,644
Don't spend the rest of your life alone.

490
00:25:20,727 --> 00:25:23,313
We all have that tía that's fucking sad.
Don't even--

491
00:25:24,314 --> 00:25:26,525
She's not gonna put
eyebrows on any more. It just…

492
00:25:28,235 --> 00:25:29,569
Just a blank face.

493
00:25:33,156 --> 00:25:34,366
"I'm so excited.

494
00:25:34,449 --> 00:25:35,450
You can't tell."

495
00:25:36,535 --> 00:25:39,037
Go in there
and put some fucking lines up.

496
00:25:42,123 --> 00:25:45,585
Because heartache is not for old people.

497
00:25:45,669 --> 00:25:47,087
Heartbreak is for the young.

498
00:25:47,796 --> 00:25:50,465
My tío broke up with his girlfriend.
He's fucking 63 years old,

499
00:25:50,549 --> 00:25:52,467
looking in her window. Chivo viejo.

500
00:25:54,010 --> 00:25:57,055
The fucking lady came out,
"Who's out there?" He's like, "I can't."

501
00:26:00,183 --> 00:26:01,810
Fucking pedo. [imitates farting]

502
00:26:03,853 --> 00:26:05,814
"I smell shit. Who's out here?"

503
00:26:09,276 --> 00:26:10,860
Because when you get older,

504
00:26:11,653 --> 00:26:13,947
your culo's the first thing that goes.

505
00:26:14,990 --> 00:26:15,824
Sad.

506
00:26:17,701 --> 00:26:19,160
When women have babies...

507
00:26:22,455 --> 00:26:25,333
Let me say this. The vagina
that you've made love to...

508
00:26:26,084 --> 00:26:27,836
is the same one
that's in the delivery room,

509
00:26:27,919 --> 00:26:29,588
pero no parece. They…

510
00:26:30,755 --> 00:26:32,799
They don't resemble each other at all.

511
00:26:33,550 --> 00:26:36,970
The one that's in there, it's all swollen,
it's changing color.

512
00:26:41,600 --> 00:26:42,767
The fucking nurse is like,

513
00:26:42,851 --> 00:26:45,770
"It looks like you."
"Fuck you, bitch. I don't look like that.

514
00:26:46,271 --> 00:26:47,939
Do I got shit all over me?

515
00:26:49,482 --> 00:26:52,235
I've got insurance,
so don't fucking talk to me like that."

516
00:26:54,821 --> 00:26:55,655
When...

517
00:26:56,406 --> 00:26:58,992
When you made love, ella era chiquito.
Perfect, you know.

518
00:27:00,619 --> 00:27:03,330
If you're gabacho, you're white,
a little piece of carrot cake.

519
00:27:05,123 --> 00:27:06,791
If you're black, red velvet.

520
00:27:08,918 --> 00:27:10,545
Chinito, fortune cookie.

521
00:27:10,629 --> 00:27:12,213
[audience laughs]

522
00:27:15,175 --> 00:27:17,302
If you're a Latino, pedazo de flan.

523
00:27:17,385 --> 00:27:20,055
[audience laughs]

524
00:27:22,849 --> 00:27:25,143
[audience cheering]

525
00:27:26,519 --> 00:27:29,022
That is the best flanocha.

526
00:27:32,651 --> 00:27:34,277
No bubbles, that is the best...

527
00:27:35,528 --> 00:27:37,364
flanocha I think I've ever had.

528
00:27:39,949 --> 00:27:42,285
It's a different thing.
Those kids grow up.

529
00:27:42,744 --> 00:27:44,245
We don't baby-proof the house.

530
00:27:44,913 --> 00:27:47,874
You'll be in the living room
and from the kitchen you'll hear...

531
00:27:47,957 --> 00:27:49,167
[screams]

532
00:27:49,959 --> 00:27:52,879
You go in there, fucking baby's
backed into the hot stove.

533
00:27:53,755 --> 00:27:56,424
"Mira, cabrón, this is where
you backed in last year.

534
00:27:57,050 --> 00:27:58,843
You see your skin from last year?

535
00:27:59,886 --> 00:28:02,013
And this is where you backed in
right now.

536
00:28:02,639 --> 00:28:04,474
So you're that much taller...

537
00:28:05,642 --> 00:28:06,768
from last year.

538
00:28:07,435 --> 00:28:10,480
You're not smarter
because you fucking did it again.

539
00:28:12,440 --> 00:28:13,566
But you're taller."

540
00:28:16,486 --> 00:28:18,738
Raise your kids to eat what they make.

541
00:28:19,322 --> 00:28:21,616
Whatever your parents made, you ate.

542
00:28:21,825 --> 00:28:25,120
Fucking 11 months old
with a fucking chile relleno in the crib.

543
00:28:27,872 --> 00:28:29,874
Fucking cheese wrapped around your head.

544
00:28:31,751 --> 00:28:33,628
"I dropped my beer! Hey!

545
00:28:34,671 --> 00:28:36,214
Watch out, I dropped my beer."

546
00:28:37,006 --> 00:28:39,592
Fucking baby monitors
are the other babies, they go,

547
00:28:39,676 --> 00:28:41,761
"Tell 'em that I dropped my beer.

548
00:28:42,429 --> 00:28:44,931
Hurry! No, you don't need a diaper.
Fucking go tell 'em."

549
00:28:47,142 --> 00:28:48,351
All of that shit.

550
00:28:48,435 --> 00:28:51,104
Latinas, beautiful women,
maybe the most beautiful.

551
00:28:51,187 --> 00:28:52,564
[audience cheering]

552
00:28:52,647 --> 00:28:54,649
Maybe the most beautiful in the world.

553
00:28:54,733 --> 00:28:56,735
[audience whistling and cheering]

554
00:28:57,318 --> 00:28:59,529
I wouldn't want to be
fucking married to one.

555
00:29:00,864 --> 00:29:04,242
They don't wait for compliments.
They fucking compliment themselves.

556
00:29:05,910 --> 00:29:07,287
They get dressed, come out,

557
00:29:07,370 --> 00:29:08,747
"I'm losing weight, huh?"

558
00:29:09,330 --> 00:29:11,332
[audience laughs]

559
00:29:16,588 --> 00:29:18,381
"I am, huh?"

560
00:29:19,048 --> 00:29:20,884
Fucking fishing. "Mira from right here."

561
00:29:23,011 --> 00:29:23,845
Yeah.

562
00:29:25,388 --> 00:29:27,390
They fucking let you go somewhere
with your friends,

563
00:29:27,474 --> 00:29:28,516
they follow you to the car,

564
00:29:28,600 --> 00:29:30,852
"Hey, and you're fucking lucky
that I'm letting you go.

565
00:29:32,061 --> 00:29:34,481
I'm not talking to you. Fucking take off.

566
00:29:34,981 --> 00:29:37,650
Take off before I fucking change my mind.
Take off.

567
00:29:39,110 --> 00:29:40,153
Take off.

568
00:29:41,446 --> 00:29:44,866
And if you fucking drink too much,
don't take a fucking Uber or a Lyft. Fuck.

569
00:29:44,949 --> 00:29:47,202
Like a fucking man, aguántate.
Make it home."

570
00:29:49,913 --> 00:29:52,123
You get pulled over by the police,
you're there like...

571
00:29:53,583 --> 00:29:56,419
They say, "Can you do the alphabet
backwards?" Everybody in the car are like,

572
00:29:56,503 --> 00:29:57,921
"Fuck, they got him! Shh!"

573
00:29:59,714 --> 00:30:01,090
"The alphabet backwards?"

574
00:30:07,013 --> 00:30:09,724
[audience laughs]

575
00:30:10,183 --> 00:30:11,059
"A.

576
00:30:13,478 --> 00:30:14,479
B.

577
00:30:15,146 --> 00:30:16,898
How much...

578
00:30:17,690 --> 00:30:18,566
C."

579
00:30:22,821 --> 00:30:26,115
You end up fucking being a caretaker
for all of your relatives.

580
00:30:26,574 --> 00:30:29,410
None of them want to go
to a nursing home.

581
00:30:29,619 --> 00:30:31,746
None of them want to leave their house.

582
00:30:31,955 --> 00:30:34,666
So somebody falls in the house.
You're watching TV

583
00:30:35,291 --> 00:30:37,418
and fucking upstairs you hear...
[thumping]

584
00:30:39,963 --> 00:30:41,047
"Ay!"

585
00:30:42,423 --> 00:30:44,342
You're outside the room.
"Tía, are you all right?

586
00:30:44,425 --> 00:30:45,260
"Me caí. I fell.

587
00:30:46,135 --> 00:30:48,888
Ay! I fell, George. Don't come.

588
00:30:49,681 --> 00:30:51,182
Me zurré. I shit a lot.

589
00:30:52,267 --> 00:30:54,811
Me salió la caca."
You're in the fucking hallway... [gags]

590
00:30:55,937 --> 00:30:58,106
You can't even smell it yet,
but you're... [gags]

591
00:30:59,107 --> 00:31:00,733
You shouldn't be... [gags]

592
00:31:01,568 --> 00:31:02,527
"Don't talk. I...

593
00:31:03,027 --> 00:31:04,320
It's all over my back!"

594
00:31:04,404 --> 00:31:05,488
[retches]

595
00:31:08,700 --> 00:31:10,535
You're fucking down the hall! [retches]

596
00:31:11,536 --> 00:31:12,829
"Where are you?" [retches]

597
00:31:16,457 --> 00:31:19,252
Life Alert, that's some fucked-up shit
right there.

598
00:31:20,295 --> 00:31:23,506
If you're a white lady and you give
your mom a fucking Life Alert,

599
00:31:23,590 --> 00:31:25,008
you just telling her, "Hey, Mom.

600
00:31:27,176 --> 00:31:28,803
We've officially abandoned you.

601
00:31:29,888 --> 00:31:33,308
So when you fall, nobody's gonna
fucking be there to pick you up."

602
00:31:33,850 --> 00:31:36,436
That's why you have that place to call.
"Help.

603
00:31:37,061 --> 00:31:38,229
I've fallen."

604
00:31:39,105 --> 00:31:42,442
Fucking operator gets on.
"Listen, lady, this is the fifth time

605
00:31:43,651 --> 00:31:45,486
that you have fallen this week.

606
00:31:46,571 --> 00:31:48,948
Your husband and your son

607
00:31:49,032 --> 00:31:51,659
only paid for three falls...

608
00:31:52,702 --> 00:31:53,536
a week.

609
00:31:55,038 --> 00:31:57,248
So we're not going to be able
to pick you up

610
00:31:58,041 --> 00:32:00,501
until the start
of the next billing period.

611
00:32:02,128 --> 00:32:04,172
You wanna talk to a manager? All right."

612
00:32:07,425 --> 00:32:08,301
No.

613
00:32:08,968 --> 00:32:12,013
When somebody falls in our family,

614
00:32:12,096 --> 00:32:13,431
after we're done laughing,

615
00:32:14,515 --> 00:32:16,935
we pick them up and send them back
to the fucking kitchen.

616
00:32:17,018 --> 00:32:18,186
"Vámonos, cabrona."

617
00:32:18,811 --> 00:32:20,897
"How did you get out of that kitchen?
A place for Mom.

618
00:32:20,980 --> 00:32:23,566
I got a place for Mom
by the fucking comal. Get your..."

619
00:32:25,443 --> 00:32:27,195
You know, none of us can accept...

620
00:32:27,654 --> 00:32:29,697
None of us can accept compliments.

621
00:32:29,781 --> 00:32:33,076
You get a compliment in front of your mom.
"What makes you love George?"

622
00:32:33,159 --> 00:32:36,496
"I just love... I love his laugh.
It's so cute."

623
00:32:36,579 --> 00:32:38,581
You're like, "Fuck that. No, I don't.

624
00:32:39,082 --> 00:32:40,458
I don't have a cute laugh."

625
00:32:42,418 --> 00:32:44,379
"Well, he's so sharing."

626
00:32:45,213 --> 00:32:46,047
"Him?"

627
00:32:47,632 --> 00:32:49,300
And they never like who you like.

628
00:32:49,884 --> 00:32:51,552
You show them a picture of anybody.

629
00:32:51,636 --> 00:32:55,139
I used to point out women to my grandma.
I'd go, "What about that one right there?

630
00:32:56,307 --> 00:32:57,141
Puta.

631
00:32:57,225 --> 00:32:58,851
[audience laughs]

632
00:32:58,935 --> 00:33:00,853
"Yeah. What about that one right there?
That one?"

633
00:33:02,313 --> 00:33:03,898
"También fucking whore.

634
00:33:03,982 --> 00:33:06,859
Look at the way she walks.
That's the way I walked when I was young.

635
00:33:07,318 --> 00:33:09,112
And I was a whore too, so I know.

636
00:33:10,321 --> 00:33:11,531
That's the walk."

637
00:33:13,449 --> 00:33:16,577
You get old… Listen,
when you get old, you have kids.

638
00:33:16,661 --> 00:33:18,079
Whenever you have a kid,

639
00:33:18,162 --> 00:33:20,748
it's the best day in your life.

640
00:33:20,832 --> 00:33:23,084
[audience member shouts]

641
00:33:23,167 --> 00:33:24,043
It depends.

642
00:33:24,127 --> 00:33:26,004
Because some of them
are little fucking cabrones.

643
00:33:26,087 --> 00:33:27,171
That's a fucking...

644
00:33:27,255 --> 00:33:30,383
a horrible price to pay
for not pulling out. Fucking...

645
00:33:32,969 --> 00:33:35,471
"How old is he gonna be... Forever? Ah...

646
00:33:35,847 --> 00:33:38,266
Now you tell me.
I would've fucking took it out!"

647
00:33:41,019 --> 00:33:42,437
We ate what was in the refrigerator.

648
00:33:42,520 --> 00:33:44,647
Fucking shit could be in there
for two years.

649
00:33:44,731 --> 00:33:46,065
They could even stop making it.

650
00:33:47,233 --> 00:33:49,986
You go in there and look at the milk.
You're like, "What the...

651
00:33:53,531 --> 00:33:56,409
This milk is from July."

652
00:33:57,493 --> 00:34:00,538
And there's your mom right there.
"Oh, okay, so at school,

653
00:34:01,456 --> 00:34:03,041
you don't wanna fucking learn.

654
00:34:04,042 --> 00:34:06,544
But at home,
you fucking can't stop reading.

655
00:34:07,378 --> 00:34:08,588
Huh?

656
00:34:09,464 --> 00:34:10,298
Fuck that!

657
00:34:11,340 --> 00:34:12,550
Fucking Rosetta Stone.

658
00:34:12,633 --> 00:34:14,093
You can't fucking stop...

659
00:34:14,552 --> 00:34:16,137
You can stop learning, huh?"

660
00:34:19,390 --> 00:34:21,142
And you couldn't say
there was nothing to eat

661
00:34:21,225 --> 00:34:23,811
because they'll find fucking something
for you to eat.

662
00:34:23,895 --> 00:34:26,564
In the back of the refrigerator
in a packet,

663
00:34:26,647 --> 00:34:28,316
one fucking hot dog

664
00:34:29,484 --> 00:34:32,236
covered in fat.
Todo quemado from the light.

665
00:34:34,238 --> 00:34:35,448
They pull it out. "Eat that."

666
00:34:35,531 --> 00:34:37,533
"Fuck, that's covered in fat."

667
00:34:37,617 --> 00:34:38,743
"And you're not?

668
00:34:39,702 --> 00:34:41,079
Son of a bitch.

669
00:34:41,454 --> 00:34:42,288
Mira, cabrón.

670
00:34:42,705 --> 00:34:46,209
Go to the bathroom and take your shirt off
and look in the mirror,

671
00:34:46,793 --> 00:34:49,378
and come back and apologize
to that fucking hot dog.

672
00:34:52,298 --> 00:34:53,758
Apologize to the hot dog!"

673
00:34:55,259 --> 00:34:57,303
Fucking apologize to a fucking hot dog?

674
00:35:00,098 --> 00:35:04,227
Every day somebody, you know, comes up
and says some stupid shit to you.

675
00:35:04,310 --> 00:35:08,189
In the elevator... Listen,
nobody wants to talk in the elevator.

676
00:35:08,272 --> 00:35:09,607
That's why people do this shit.

677
00:35:14,654 --> 00:35:15,988
You learn those lessons.

678
00:35:16,697 --> 00:35:19,367
I said to this guy,
"I'm only in town till tomorrow."

679
00:35:19,450 --> 00:35:20,993
This dude looked at me and said, "Good,

680
00:35:21,077 --> 00:35:23,329
that's more than enough time
for you to go fuck yourself."

681
00:35:23,412 --> 00:35:25,414
[audience laughs]

682
00:35:31,838 --> 00:35:34,465
And that's how you learn not to talk
in the fucking elevator.

683
00:35:36,884 --> 00:35:39,011
Somebody said to me,
"Have you taken a spin class?"

684
00:35:39,095 --> 00:35:40,471
I'm like, "What the fuck? What?"

685
00:35:41,097 --> 00:35:42,890
"A spin class?" I said, "Hey.

686
00:35:43,266 --> 00:35:45,852
Mira, fucking Mexicans, if we ride a bike,

687
00:35:45,935 --> 00:35:48,688
an hour later,
we can't be in the same fucking place.

688
00:35:49,856 --> 00:35:51,274
We got to be an hour away."

689
00:35:52,400 --> 00:35:53,484
When you're done with the class,

690
00:35:53,568 --> 00:35:55,695
you're in the same place,
getting your fucking culo...

691
00:35:56,821 --> 00:35:58,948
"Where did you go?"
"I was riding the bike right here."

692
00:35:59,991 --> 00:36:02,451
"We're fucking waiting
for you over there!" "Fucking right...

693
00:36:03,369 --> 00:36:05,663
I told you that bike didn't go nowhere."

694
00:36:08,875 --> 00:36:11,502
That's what it is. Listen.
And we're trying to eat right.

695
00:36:11,586 --> 00:36:15,631
No Latinos want to live forever,
but we still enjoy our food.

696
00:36:15,715 --> 00:36:17,091
We're not going to live forever,

697
00:36:17,175 --> 00:36:19,969
so enjoy  your food,
eat what you want to eat.

698
00:36:22,054 --> 00:36:23,764
Fuck it, order the fucking cow!

699
00:36:23,848 --> 00:36:25,224
[moos]

700
00:36:26,893 --> 00:36:28,311
Now it's getting fucking ridiculous.

701
00:36:28,394 --> 00:36:31,689
Now you go to a Mexican restaurant,
you'll hear people, they'll be like,

702
00:36:31,772 --> 00:36:33,274
"Hi, señor."

703
00:36:34,859 --> 00:36:37,820
Fucking waiter's been there 40 years.
He is waiting.

704
00:36:40,156 --> 00:36:43,242
"Hi, these chicken tacos, um,

705
00:36:44,076 --> 00:36:47,163
was the chicken humanely put down?

706
00:36:51,876 --> 00:36:56,339
"Qué, qué?" "Was he... humanely put down?"

707
00:36:58,424 --> 00:36:59,258
"Yeah.

708
00:37:01,135 --> 00:37:02,803
We pet him until he died."

709
00:37:02,887 --> 00:37:04,889
[audience laughs]

710
00:37:09,644 --> 00:37:11,479
We're not trying to live forever.

711
00:37:11,729 --> 00:37:14,774
We don't know our cholesterol.
The first time we ever take

712
00:37:14,857 --> 00:37:16,734
our blood pressure is at the market.

713
00:37:17,610 --> 00:37:19,070
They have that free machine.

714
00:37:20,988 --> 00:37:23,199
You put your arm in there.
You push the button.

715
00:37:23,282 --> 00:37:25,201
That shit starts filling up with air.

716
00:37:25,284 --> 00:37:26,327
[imitates air filling]

717
00:37:29,121 --> 00:37:30,373
"Ay!"

718
00:37:31,332 --> 00:37:33,167
When the number comes up,
everybody's trying to look.

719
00:37:33,251 --> 00:37:35,002
"Hey, fucking back away.
That's my number."

720
00:37:36,212 --> 00:37:39,257
"What is it?"
"What it was last year, 280 over...

721
00:37:40,132 --> 00:37:41,801
125.

722
00:37:42,593 --> 00:37:44,345
It says I'm supposed to be dead,
pero mira...

723
00:37:46,597 --> 00:37:49,058
Got a lot of shit to do. I can't be dead."

724
00:37:50,685 --> 00:37:53,104
We don't want to go to the doctor.
We don't want to know.

725
00:37:53,688 --> 00:37:55,648
Now, I think the craziest thing

726
00:37:55,982 --> 00:37:58,025
in our culture right now is

727
00:37:58,401 --> 00:38:00,569
the gender... reveal...

728
00:38:02,238 --> 00:38:03,155
party.

729
00:38:04,573 --> 00:38:07,952
If white people could not be
fucking whiter,

730
00:38:09,787 --> 00:38:12,832
to have a fucking gender... reveal...

731
00:38:13,457 --> 00:38:14,292
party,

732
00:38:14,792 --> 00:38:17,295
where all the families are around.
They're like...

733
00:38:19,755 --> 00:38:21,799
"Pop the balloons, Dylan! Dylan!"

734
00:38:24,218 --> 00:38:26,637
Fucking Latinos, we don't care
pink or blue.

735
00:38:26,721 --> 00:38:27,930
Is it ours?

736
00:38:30,016 --> 00:38:31,684
"Is it mine? Bring him over here.

737
00:38:32,685 --> 00:38:35,271
He better be fucking darker
when he gets over here

738
00:38:35,813 --> 00:38:37,606
'cause he looks pretty light over there."

739
00:38:40,901 --> 00:38:42,820
We don't get wrapped up in all that shit.

740
00:38:44,071 --> 00:38:46,282
The people that take pictures
of their food...

741
00:38:52,121 --> 00:38:55,082
at a restaurant,
and then send a picture to you.

742
00:38:55,166 --> 00:38:56,625
You're not at the restaurant.

743
00:38:57,251 --> 00:38:59,128
But they send the picture
of the food to you.

744
00:38:59,211 --> 00:39:02,673
You're at home and you get a picture
of a fucking steak.

745
00:39:03,591 --> 00:39:04,675
And you're not there.

746
00:39:05,760 --> 00:39:08,179
So get a picture of some caca,
send it back.

747
00:39:08,262 --> 00:39:10,264
[audience laughs]

748
00:39:14,435 --> 00:39:16,604
"Fuck is this?"
"That's before and after, motherfucker."

749
00:39:17,772 --> 00:39:19,440
I'll see your fucking steak.

750
00:39:21,233 --> 00:39:22,735
Then you send a picture of your palito.

751
00:39:22,818 --> 00:39:25,988
You're like, "Hey, that's for dessert.
Anybody want some?

752
00:39:27,656 --> 00:39:30,076
I'll bring you some dipping sauce
right there."

753
00:39:32,036 --> 00:39:32,870
Nobody cares.

754
00:39:34,497 --> 00:39:37,792
Everybody talking shit. I was in New York
and you're eating a hot dog of course.

755
00:39:38,542 --> 00:39:41,879
Everybody fucking has to look.
This man says, "Oh, you know,

756
00:39:41,962 --> 00:39:45,049
once you know what a hot dog is made of,

757
00:39:45,466 --> 00:39:47,426
you'd never want to eat another one."

758
00:39:47,510 --> 00:39:48,636
"Oh, yeah?

759
00:39:48,719 --> 00:39:50,971
Well, I know what a panocha does,
I still eat that."

760
00:39:51,055 --> 00:39:54,392
[audience laughs and applauds]

761
00:39:57,520 --> 00:40:00,106
"So mind your own fucking business,
pinche viejo."

762
00:40:02,316 --> 00:40:04,819
If you're going to spend time
with your child

763
00:40:04,902 --> 00:40:09,115
reading bedtime stories
that don't make any fucking sense,

764
00:40:10,282 --> 00:40:12,368
use that time to tell your kid

765
00:40:12,451 --> 00:40:15,746
that they can be whatever they want
in this world.

766
00:40:16,705 --> 00:40:17,873
That they matter.

767
00:40:17,957 --> 00:40:20,418
[audience cheering and applauding]

768
00:40:20,501 --> 00:40:22,420
That their voice will always be heard.

769
00:40:23,129 --> 00:40:25,047
And for them to be happy first.

770
00:40:25,840 --> 00:40:26,674
Because...

771
00:40:27,425 --> 00:40:30,469
if you're going to tell them
a fucking fairy-tale, tell them that one.

772
00:40:34,515 --> 00:40:38,102
Listen, they didn't prepare us
for the life inside the house.

773
00:40:38,185 --> 00:40:40,980
They prepared us for the life
outside in the world.

774
00:40:41,313 --> 00:40:42,148
You know.

775
00:40:42,731 --> 00:40:45,109
We're prepared for any fucking situation.

776
00:40:46,444 --> 00:40:48,487
So teach your kids to have respect.

777
00:40:49,029 --> 00:40:51,365
Teach your kids
to behave themselves in public.

778
00:40:51,657 --> 00:40:53,909
[audience cheering and applauding]

779
00:40:55,619 --> 00:40:57,121
Tantrums? Not us.

780
00:40:57,538 --> 00:41:00,583
I didn't have a tantrum
till about fifty... I was fifty...

781
00:41:01,750 --> 00:41:04,837
three years old, my grandmother
had been dead for seven years.

782
00:41:05,546 --> 00:41:07,256
I still look around. [sniffs]

783
00:41:07,339 --> 00:41:10,050
"I smell fucking Oil of Olay.
Is she around somewhere?"

784
00:41:12,344 --> 00:41:13,804
That's who they are. Fuck!

785
00:41:13,971 --> 00:41:14,805
Hey, this year,

786
00:41:15,389 --> 00:41:17,725
the first women went to space.

787
00:41:17,808 --> 00:41:19,935
They did a space walk, two women...

788
00:41:20,019 --> 00:41:21,353
for the first time ever.

789
00:41:22,354 --> 00:41:26,192
And I bet their husbands were like, "Fuck,
they're still not far away enough, huh?

790
00:41:26,901 --> 00:41:27,735
Shit.

791
00:41:28,611 --> 00:41:30,696
Let us know when they come
into the Earth's atmosphere

792
00:41:30,779 --> 00:41:32,448
so we can start fucking cleaning.

793
00:41:33,157 --> 00:41:34,658
And change the baby."

794
00:41:35,576 --> 00:41:39,038
[audience cheering]

795
00:41:39,121 --> 00:41:40,080
I think...

796
00:41:41,373 --> 00:41:43,959
I think in our lifetime,
I think there might be...

797
00:41:44,543 --> 00:41:45,961
a Latino president, I think.

798
00:41:48,047 --> 00:41:51,342
If this fucking puto can be president,
fucking anybody can be fucking president.

799
00:41:52,968 --> 00:41:54,011
Your fucking tío.

800
00:41:56,388 --> 00:41:58,516
"Everything is free. Qué pasó?
I can't do that? Órale."

801
00:41:59,725 --> 00:42:02,853
We'd take care if we fucking get
a Latino president. A Latina better.

802
00:42:03,187 --> 00:42:05,689
[audience cheering]

803
00:42:05,773 --> 00:42:07,525
The president, you'll never see
that motherfucker.

804
00:42:07,608 --> 00:42:09,610
He'll never leave the White House.

805
00:42:11,195 --> 00:42:13,113
"Go back home. You went out last night.

806
00:42:14,740 --> 00:42:17,159
You know you don't go out
two nights in a row.

807
00:42:17,952 --> 00:42:20,246
If they wanna talk to you,
they can fucking come over here.

808
00:42:21,330 --> 00:42:22,748
All right? You're not going.

809
00:42:22,831 --> 00:42:25,000
Give me that phone.
I'll tell them you're not going."

810
00:42:27,127 --> 00:42:29,547
That's who we are.
Listen, this country is better

811
00:42:29,630 --> 00:42:31,590
than what it is right now. Listen,

812
00:42:32,258 --> 00:42:36,845
you can't have people
call the fucking police on other people

813
00:42:36,929 --> 00:42:41,100
just because they're some place that you
don't like where they are. This country...

814
00:42:41,183 --> 00:42:44,770
We need to start to go back
to minding our own fucking business

815
00:42:44,853 --> 00:42:47,231
and just letting people do their shit.

816
00:42:47,314 --> 00:42:50,734
[audience cheering and applauding]

817
00:42:51,860 --> 00:42:53,946
You got fucking white people
that call the police

818
00:42:54,029 --> 00:42:57,116
on black people in Starbucks.
They're all fucking scared. "Hi.

819
00:42:59,034 --> 00:43:00,494
They're in here. Please help.

820
00:43:01,620 --> 00:43:03,330
I can't talk. I can't talk.

821
00:43:04,081 --> 00:43:06,083
I'm going to use coffee codes, okay?

822
00:43:06,875 --> 00:43:08,335
There's four espressos.

823
00:43:10,754 --> 00:43:12,214
Two horchatas just walked in.

824
00:43:14,258 --> 00:43:16,260
And three micheladas. Oh, my God, hurry!

825
00:43:17,052 --> 00:43:18,637
Soy sauce, soy sauce. Hurry!"

826
00:43:21,015 --> 00:43:22,391
Fuck that shit. Listen.

827
00:43:24,143 --> 00:43:25,102
That's bullshit.

828
00:43:25,978 --> 00:43:28,105
Everything that's happened
in this country

829
00:43:28,188 --> 00:43:30,274
that has been domestic terrorism

830
00:43:30,357 --> 00:43:31,734
has not been done

831
00:43:31,817 --> 00:43:35,070
by any African-American people
or Latino people.

832
00:43:35,404 --> 00:43:39,033
[audience cheering and applauding]

833
00:43:41,827 --> 00:43:43,037
Mass shooters?

834
00:43:43,370 --> 00:43:44,288
Not us.

835
00:43:45,247 --> 00:43:47,750
We don't like to walk into a room
where we don't know nobody.

836
00:43:48,917 --> 00:43:49,918
When you walk in...

837
00:43:53,756 --> 00:43:56,050
"Yeah... no, I'm cool. I'm all right.

838
00:43:56,133 --> 00:43:58,177
I thought my tía was in here.
I'll be back."

839
00:43:59,845 --> 00:44:00,679
Not us.

840
00:44:02,640 --> 00:44:03,724
Shooting up a school?

841
00:44:03,807 --> 00:44:04,642
Never.

842
00:44:05,142 --> 00:44:07,603
And we fucking hate school. You'd think...

843
00:44:09,063 --> 00:44:12,274
You'd think we'd be the first kids
to shoot a fucking school up.

844
00:44:12,358 --> 00:44:15,069
"We're having a test." "No, we're not."
[imitates gunfire]

845
00:44:16,570 --> 00:44:19,156
If we shot up a school,
we wouldn't shoot kids.

846
00:44:19,281 --> 00:44:21,533
We'd shoot where they keep
the fucking attendance records.

847
00:44:23,827 --> 00:44:24,828
"They're right there."

848
00:44:24,912 --> 00:44:25,913
[imitates gunfire]

849
00:44:26,705 --> 00:44:28,374
You go back after school.

850
00:44:28,832 --> 00:44:31,710
They're like, "Do you remember
what your grade point average was?"

851
00:44:31,794 --> 00:44:32,836
"Mine? Oh.

852
00:44:34,046 --> 00:44:35,798
It was high in a combo.

853
00:44:37,091 --> 00:44:39,134
It was up there. I think it was...

854
00:44:40,427 --> 00:44:42,388
combo 21-point...

855
00:44:44,556 --> 00:44:46,016
21.5, por ahí.

856
00:44:47,226 --> 00:44:48,268
Four or five.

857
00:44:49,269 --> 00:44:50,688
21.5.

858
00:44:51,730 --> 00:44:53,148
My GPA. GP...

859
00:44:55,317 --> 00:44:56,360
GPA...

860
00:44:57,277 --> 00:44:58,237
GP yi-yay.

861
00:44:59,613 --> 00:45:00,614
Por ahí."

862
00:45:03,826 --> 00:45:04,660
Listen.

863
00:45:05,077 --> 00:45:08,372
Every week, you see on the news

864
00:45:08,789 --> 00:45:13,127
that a teacher has been arrested
for having sex with a student.

865
00:45:14,128 --> 00:45:15,546
And none of the teachers...

866
00:45:16,547 --> 00:45:17,965
Están feítas. They're all...

867
00:45:20,801 --> 00:45:23,804
Hey, they're fucking beautiful.
Not like ours. Ours...

868
00:45:28,142 --> 00:45:30,185
If a teacher tried to fuck us

869
00:45:30,269 --> 00:45:33,272
back in the day, you'd look
at your teacher, you'd be like...

870
00:45:34,565 --> 00:45:36,984
"You know what, Mrs. Smith,
I'm gonna take the F.

871
00:45:38,736 --> 00:45:39,987
I'm gonna take the F.

872
00:45:41,488 --> 00:45:44,158
You can try again in summer school,
but I don't know."

873
00:45:48,996 --> 00:45:49,872
No.

874
00:45:51,123 --> 00:45:53,041
These kids turn the teacher in.

875
00:45:53,625 --> 00:45:56,545
That's how fucking different they are
from us. They turn...

876
00:45:56,920 --> 00:45:58,172
the teacher in.

877
00:45:59,548 --> 00:46:00,424
Us?

878
00:46:05,596 --> 00:46:08,891
Nobody would be late for school.
Fuck, at 5:30 in the morning...

879
00:46:11,769 --> 00:46:13,395
Fucking long-ass line.

880
00:46:13,479 --> 00:46:15,439
[audience laughs]

881
00:46:20,986 --> 00:46:22,613
"I gotta go home. I'll be right back."

882
00:46:23,322 --> 00:46:26,533
And if we did tell somebody,
they wouldn't fucking believe it.

883
00:46:27,284 --> 00:46:28,660
That teacher me está chupando.

884
00:46:30,078 --> 00:46:32,164
"Get the fuck outta here!

885
00:46:32,664 --> 00:46:34,708
Fucking liar. Bullshit!

886
00:46:35,459 --> 00:46:36,293
Bullshit.

887
00:46:37,503 --> 00:46:40,631
Why would Mrs Anderson wanna suck
a fat Mexican's dick?"

888
00:46:40,714 --> 00:46:42,382
[audience laughs]

889
00:46:47,805 --> 00:46:50,182
"That's what I told her,
but she still did it. I dunno.

890
00:46:50,265 --> 00:46:52,267
[audience laughs]

891
00:46:53,644 --> 00:46:55,437
Tell her, don't tell me. Fuck."

892
00:46:57,940 --> 00:46:58,899
You go there,

893
00:46:59,399 --> 00:47:00,901
to the principal's office.

894
00:47:01,902 --> 00:47:03,278
The principal's there.

895
00:47:04,071 --> 00:47:05,280
Mrs. Anderson,

896
00:47:05,948 --> 00:47:07,074
the police,

897
00:47:08,033 --> 00:47:11,078
your mom, your dad...

898
00:47:12,037 --> 00:47:13,205
your stepfather.

899
00:47:15,123 --> 00:47:19,378
"Come in, George Lopez.
Did Mrs. Anderson perform fellatio?

900
00:47:20,546 --> 00:47:22,381
Were you ejaculated by her?"

901
00:47:30,055 --> 00:47:32,140
[speaking Spanish]

902
00:47:41,692 --> 00:47:44,778
[audience cheering and applauding]

903
00:47:47,364 --> 00:47:48,198
Listen.

904
00:47:49,533 --> 00:47:51,493
We love this country. Understand that.

905
00:47:51,994 --> 00:47:52,995
All right?

906
00:47:53,412 --> 00:47:56,373
All the bullshit... All that shit,
blow up a federal building...

907
00:47:57,040 --> 00:47:57,916
no.

908
00:47:58,542 --> 00:48:00,711
That's where the checks come from.
Bullshit.

909
00:48:02,045 --> 00:48:03,005
We're not stupid.

910
00:48:03,088 --> 00:48:05,173
"What the fuck? That's where the checks...

911
00:48:06,341 --> 00:48:07,926
I thought you said yeah."

912
00:48:09,678 --> 00:48:11,388
Don't leave your kids
with your grandparents

913
00:48:11,471 --> 00:48:13,181
because you're leaving
with your mom's mom...

914
00:48:15,017 --> 00:48:17,102
You try to discipline them
like they discipline you,

915
00:48:17,185 --> 00:48:18,562
your mom'll be like, "Hey...

916
00:48:19,563 --> 00:48:21,648
Don't you talk to my grandson like that,
mira.

917
00:48:22,524 --> 00:48:24,943
As long as I'm alive,
you show fucking respect to him.

918
00:48:25,527 --> 00:48:27,613
All right? You show respect."

919
00:48:28,155 --> 00:48:30,365
"You yelled at me."
"That's fucking different, pendejo.

920
00:48:30,449 --> 00:48:31,491
He's smart.

921
00:48:32,743 --> 00:48:35,829
He's not like you. He don't wear
his helmet all day like you."

922
00:48:37,956 --> 00:48:41,418
We didn't talk back. You could leave us
in the car back in the summer.

923
00:48:41,710 --> 00:48:45,213
Now you can't. You could leave us
in the car with the windows rolled up.

924
00:48:53,263 --> 00:48:56,683
See the police. "No, fuck... You're gonna
get me in trouble. I got it. I'm alright.

925
00:48:57,768 --> 00:49:00,395
I've only been here an hour and a half.
I got it. I'm cool.

926
00:49:00,479 --> 00:49:02,481
Go away. Go fight real crime. I got it."

927
00:49:06,360 --> 00:49:08,362
You know... That's the future.

928
00:49:08,445 --> 00:49:10,697
That's the future of this country.

929
00:49:10,781 --> 00:49:12,699
It's Latino diversity.

930
00:49:12,783 --> 00:49:15,410
Chino, Latino, black, white.
They're in here tonight.

931
00:49:15,494 --> 00:49:17,329
This is diversity at its finest.

932
00:49:18,538 --> 00:49:20,374
We're not going nowhere, cabrón!

933
00:49:20,457 --> 00:49:22,459
[audience cheering]

934
00:49:22,542 --> 00:49:23,669
Woo-hoo!

935
00:49:24,628 --> 00:49:28,382
Be happy. Be happy in your life.
Don't let anybody tell you what to do.

936
00:49:28,465 --> 00:49:30,676
Don't wait to get sick
to want to live, alright?

937
00:49:31,343 --> 00:49:32,636
So be happy in your life.

938
00:49:33,428 --> 00:49:34,429
Huh?

939
00:49:35,639 --> 00:49:37,015
Be in love, be happy.

940
00:49:38,183 --> 00:49:39,267
Appreciate all the moments.

941
00:49:39,351 --> 00:49:41,561
If you've still got older people
in the family,

942
00:49:41,645 --> 00:49:42,980
take pictures of them,

943
00:49:43,063 --> 00:49:44,898
hold their hands, comb their hair,

944
00:49:45,190 --> 00:49:46,775
get them pedo one more time.

945
00:49:47,818 --> 00:49:48,860
That's how we do it.

946
00:49:50,320 --> 00:49:51,697
I love my community.

947
00:49:52,739 --> 00:49:54,741
I love Latino people all over the world.

948
00:49:54,866 --> 00:49:56,118
We don't know each other.

949
00:49:56,201 --> 00:49:58,203
[audience cheering]

950
00:49:59,037 --> 00:50:00,831
But we follow this simple rule.

951
00:50:01,748 --> 00:50:03,291
You fuck with one bean,

952
00:50:03,917 --> 00:50:05,961
you fuck with the whole burrito.

953
00:50:06,044 --> 00:50:08,505
[audience laughs and cheers]

954
00:50:08,588 --> 00:50:10,966
Appreciate you guys coming to see me.
I love you guys.

955
00:50:11,758 --> 00:50:12,718
Thank you. Gracias.

956
00:50:12,801 --> 00:50:15,220
[audience cheering]

957
00:50:15,303 --> 00:50:19,141
[soulful music plays]

958
00:50:20,350 --> 00:50:24,187
♪ Gotta love, gotta love one another ♪

959
00:50:24,646 --> 00:50:29,651
♪ Gotta love, gotta love one another ♪

960
00:50:29,735 --> 00:50:32,279
♪ Gotta love, gotta love... ♪

961
00:50:32,362 --> 00:50:34,573
Thank you, everybody! Órale!

962
00:50:34,948 --> 00:50:39,036
♪ Gotta love, gotta love one another ♪

963
00:50:39,578 --> 00:50:44,458
♪ Gotta love, gotta love one another ♪

964
00:50:44,541 --> 00:50:49,379
♪ Gotta love, gotta love one another ♪

965
00:50:49,463 --> 00:50:54,426
♪ Gotta love, gotta love one another ♪

966
00:50:54,509 --> 00:50:59,431
♪ Gotta love, gotta love one another ♪

967
00:50:59,514 --> 00:51:04,394
♪ Gotta love, gotta love one another ♪

968
00:51:04,478 --> 00:51:09,399
♪ Gotta love, gotta love one another ♪

969
00:51:09,483 --> 00:51:14,362
♪ Gotta love, gotta love one another ♪

970
00:51:14,446 --> 00:51:19,576
♪ Gotta love, gotta love one another ♪