WEBVTT FILE

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Downloaded from
YTS.MX

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Official YIFY movies site:
YTS.MX

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♪ upbeat holiday music ♪

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♪ ♪

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♪ ♪

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♪ ♪

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[ "Candy Cane Lane" by Sia playing ]

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♪ Take a trip down
Candy Cane Lane with me ♪

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♪ It's the cutest thing
I swear you'll ever see ♪

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♪ It's the best, so get dressed ♪

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♪ I'll impress you with
the colors of the rainbow ♪

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♪ Take a trip down
Candy Cane Lane with me ♪

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♪ It's so magical,
let's go there in your dreams ♪

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♪ It's the best... ♪

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TRUDY: ...so surprised
when he saw all those presents

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under the Christmas tree,
and she was one of them.

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Now, this house was originally owned
by Herbert Flackshaw,

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who started this tradition
on Candy Cane Lane.

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He even hired his nephew Otis
to play Santa Claus for many years,

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until he was arrested
for child endangerment in 1992.

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Ooh, you guys got to look at this house.

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This house is the site...

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HARPER:
Are you having fun?

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‐ Are you having fun?

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‐ [ laughing ] Yes, I think this is cute.

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‐ It is. Yeah.

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‐ Oh, God, you hate it.

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‐ [ laughing ] No, I don't hate it.

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Baby, I'm just not
a huge Christmas person.

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‐ I know, I know, but... [ groans ]

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how can you not like the lights
and the decorations

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and the Christmas trees?

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‐ Fun fact: did you know
that Christmas trees are responsible

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for an annual average of four deaths,

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15 injuries

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and a loss of $12 million?

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‐ [ laughing ] Okay, I get it.

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I think you made your point.
‐ [ chuckles ]

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Thank you for trying to get me
to like Christmas.

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I love that you love it.

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I'm just so content taking care
of other people's pets

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when they're away for the holiday‐‐
‐ [ gasps ]

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Come with me.

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‐ Wait, where are we going?

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Do you know these people?

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What are you doing?
‐ No. Come here.

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‐ [ grunts ] Still not clear on the plan.

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‐ Will you shut up and follow me, please?

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Come on.

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‐ [ scoffs ]

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‐ [ Harper sighs ]

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Well, does this do anything for you?

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‐ This is beautiful.

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HARPER: I hate that you're gonna
be alone on Christmas.

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I'm gonna miss you.

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‐ Hey, I'm gonna miss you, too.

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‐ We could just stay up here.

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‐ I'd do that.
‐ [ chuckles ]

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WOMAN:
Hey! I hear you up there.

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I'm calling the police.
‐ [ gasps ]

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‐ Um...
‐ [ gasping ]

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‐ [ both grunting ]

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[ sliding ]
‐ [ Abby grunts ]

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‐ Abby?
ABBY: Harper!

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‐ [ screams ] Oh, my God.

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Are you okay?
‐ Um...

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I don't know. Uh, what do I do?

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‐ Stay there. I'm gonna get you down.

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‐ Okay. Yeah.

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‐ Shit.
‐ Uh...

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[ gasps ] Oh.

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WOMAN:
What are you doing out there?

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‐ Harper!
WOMAN: Are you peeping?

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Don't you peep at me.

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‐ Oh, God! [ yells ]

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[ air hissing ]
HARPER: Abby?

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‐ [ groaning ]

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‐ Oh, my God. Are you okay?

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‐ I'm so great.

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‐ Here, here. Yeah, yeah, come on.

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We got to go. Come on.

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She's coming. Go. Run.
‐ Oh. Hey.

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Yeah, you better run.

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Pervert.
‐ [ laughing ]

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‐ Who said you could come downstairs?

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Giddyap.

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‐ [ both laughing ]

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[ whooping ]

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[ laughing continues ]

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‐ [ Harper sighs ]

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Come with me.

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‐ Where?

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‐ To my parents' house for Christmas.

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‐ Oh, really?

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I've got the pets to sit.

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‐ Oh, my God, get someone
to cover for you.

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I want to...

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wake up with you on Christmas morning.

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And if that doesn't
convince you to love Christmas,

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I'll never bring it up again.

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‐ Deal.

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Yeah.
‐ Mm.

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[ "Jingle Bells" by Joy Oladokun playing ]

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[ in distance ]
♪ Dashing through the snow ♪

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♪ In a one‐horse open sleigh ♪

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♪ O'er the fields we go ♪

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♪ Laughing all the way ♪

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♪ Bells on bobtails ring ♪

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[ door closes ]

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♪ Making spirits bright ♪

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♪ What fun it is to laugh and sing ♪

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♪ A sleighing song tonight ♪

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♪ Oh, jingle bells... ♪

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‐ Hi.

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‐ Hey.

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Sit down.

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‐ What's going on in here?

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‐ I just woke up thinking about
going home with you and got...

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very excited about Christmas.

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‐ Oh... baby, you don't‐‐
You don't have to come with me.

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‐ Well, I want to.
HARPER: No.

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No, no, no, no, I‐‐ [ sighs ]

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I feel like I really put you
on the spot last night,

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and I understand how you feel
about Christmas

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because you lost your parents,
and you just don't have‐‐

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‐ No, no, no, I‐I genuinely want to go.

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‐ Uh‐huh.

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‐ I get to go meet the people
that made my favorite person.

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‐ Okay.

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But who's gonna look after all those pets?

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‐ John's gonna cover for me.

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I know why you're worried.

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But don't be.

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I'm all in on Christmas.

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‐ [ inhales deeply ]

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ABBY: Hmm?
‐ Good.

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ABBY:
Yeah.

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So, for the cat,
you can go every other day,

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but the dog and the fish need
to be seen morning and night.

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‐ Mm‐hmm. Okay.
‐ Oh, and the apartment on Butler

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has this weird lock, so if you jiggle it,

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it will lock, but you have to
make sure that you do that.

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‐ Yes.
‐ What are you doing on your phone?

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‐ I'm sorry, I left a gentleman
alone in my apartment,

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so I'm tracking him
to make sure he leaves.

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‐ You're tracking him?
‐ Yeah. I track everybody.

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If the NSA can do it, so can I.

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And he's gone.
Sorry, what were you saying?

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‐ I wrote it all down.

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They're really specific directions,

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but if you need anything,
you can obviously call me.

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‐ Abigail, don't worry.

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I'm responsible for the careers
of dozens of authors.

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I am more than capable of taking care
of a few pets for two days.

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‐ It's... it's five days.

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‐ Five days. That's what I said.

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WAITER: Refill?
‐ Hi.

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And I sort of think I made
the right decision, but at the same time‐‐

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‐ What is Ultrasuede?

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‐ Ultrasuede is, like,
a water‐resistant fabric.

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‐ Hello.

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‐ What are we doing here?

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‐ Hi. Can I help you?

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‐ Yeah, I'm picking up.
My name's Abby Holland.

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‐ Oh, yes, of course.
Um, just wait right here.

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I'll be right back.
Oh, enjoy some champagne.

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‐ Oh.

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Thank you.

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I love champagne.

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‐ Here we are.

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May I?
‐ Yeah, of course. Thanks.

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There it is.

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‐ No.

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Abby, you and Harper have
a perfect relationship.

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Why do you want to ruin that

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by engaging in one of
the most archaic institutions

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in the history of the human race?

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‐ Because I want to marry her.

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‐ Okay, you say that,
but what you're actually doing

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is tricking the woman you claim to love

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by trapping her in a box
of heteronormativity

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and trying to make her your property.

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She is not a rice cooker or a cake plate.

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She's a human being.

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‐ No, it's not about owning her.

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It's about building a life with her.

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She is my person,
and I really want everyone to know that.

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‐ I suppose that's one way
of looking at it.

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So, when are you gonna ask her?

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‐ I was thinking of doing it
on New Year's,

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but now that I'm going home with her...

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I understand this is very old‐fashioned,

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but I'm probably gonna ask
her dad for his blessing

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and propose on Christmas morning.

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‐ I'm sorry, ask her dad for his blessing?

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[ "Jolly Old Saint Nicholas"
by Caveboy playing ]

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Way to stick it to the patriarchy.

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Really well done.

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♪ Jolly old Saint Nicholas ♪

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♪ Lean your ear this way ♪

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♪ Don't you tell a single soul ♪

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♪ What I'm gonna say... ♪

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ABBY:
God, I'm so excited.

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I can't believe I'm finally
gonna meet everyone.

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I mean, I haven't had
a family Christmas in ten years.

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Also, a fact you don't know about me:

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00:10:38.680 --> 00:10:41.430
I am actually very good with parents.

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00:10:41.430 --> 00:10:44.140
‐ Okay, there's something
that we should talk about

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00:10:44.140 --> 00:10:45.730
before we get to my parents' house.

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00:10:45.730 --> 00:10:46.810
‐ What is it?

211
00:10:46.810 --> 00:10:48.810
‐ Do you remember this summer

212
00:10:48.810 --> 00:10:53.030
when I came out to my parents
and told them we were together

213
00:10:53.030 --> 00:10:55.240
and they took it really well?

214
00:10:55.240 --> 00:10:56.950
‐ Yeah.

215
00:10:56.950 --> 00:11:01.370
‐ Okay, well, that wasn't
entirely accurate.

216
00:11:01.370 --> 00:11:03.790
‐ They didn't take it well?

217
00:11:03.790 --> 00:11:05.830
‐ No. No, no.

218
00:11:05.830 --> 00:11:08.330
Um...

219
00:11:08.330 --> 00:11:10.340
I didn't tell them.

220
00:11:12.800 --> 00:11:15.130
I was going to, and then Dad told us

221
00:11:15.130 --> 00:11:16.930
that he was running for mayor,

222
00:11:16.930 --> 00:11:19.260
and it just didn't feel
like the right time,

223
00:11:19.260 --> 00:11:22.100
and then now he's trying to get
the support of this donor,

224
00:11:22.100 --> 00:11:24.560
and our whole Christmas is
about impressing this person,

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which is stressing my mom out
even more than usual, and I just‐‐

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00:11:27.690 --> 00:11:30.060
I know that if I tell them now,

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00:11:30.060 --> 00:11:33.400
their reaction is gonna be colored
by all this other stress,

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00:11:33.400 --> 00:11:35.900
and I‐I'm sorry,
I don't think that's fair.

229
00:11:35.900 --> 00:11:37.650
To you or to us.

230
00:11:37.650 --> 00:11:39.320
‐ Then why did you invite me?

231
00:11:39.320 --> 00:11:43.740
‐ Because we were just having
such a special night, and...

232
00:11:43.740 --> 00:11:47.580
and, fine, I got carried away,
but it's because I love you

233
00:11:47.580 --> 00:11:51.250
and‐and I want to give you
such a great Christmas.

234
00:11:51.250 --> 00:11:53.670
‐ You're off to a really great start.

235
00:11:53.670 --> 00:11:54.840
‐ I'm so sorry.

236
00:11:54.840 --> 00:11:56.880
‐ So, who do they think I am?

237
00:11:56.880 --> 00:11:58.340
‐ My roommate.

238
00:11:58.340 --> 00:12:00.300
‐ They don't think it's weird
that you're bringing

239
00:12:00.300 --> 00:12:02.050
your roommate home for Christmas?

240
00:12:02.050 --> 00:12:04.810
‐ No, because I told them that
you had nowhere else to go

241
00:12:04.810 --> 00:12:08.890
because your parents
are no longer with us.

242
00:12:08.890 --> 00:12:10.230
‐ I'm not going.

243
00:12:10.230 --> 00:12:14.230
‐ Look, this is actually
a really good opportunity

244
00:12:14.230 --> 00:12:19.490
for them to see how amazing
and kind and smart you are.

245
00:12:19.490 --> 00:12:21.490
You said it yourself,
you're great with parents,

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00:12:21.490 --> 00:12:24.530
so they're gonna meet you,
they're gonna fall in love with you,

247
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and then that'll make it so much easier
when I do tell them.

248
00:12:29.660 --> 00:12:31.670
Look...

249
00:12:34.000 --> 00:12:37.130
I get it, okay?

250
00:12:37.130 --> 00:12:40.220
I am asking a lot of you.

251
00:12:40.220 --> 00:12:42.890
But I promise I will tell them everything

252
00:12:42.890 --> 00:12:44.890
after the holidays.

253
00:12:52.520 --> 00:12:54.150
‐ Okay, we can do this.

254
00:12:57.230 --> 00:12:58.900
It's five days.

255
00:12:58.900 --> 00:13:00.740
How bad can it be?

256
00:13:00.740 --> 00:13:02.740
[ "Jingle Bells" instrumental playing ]

257
00:13:12.920 --> 00:13:15.170
ABBY: Should I have some sort
of cover story or something?

258
00:13:15.170 --> 00:13:16.340
HARPER:
Oh, no, no.

259
00:13:16.340 --> 00:13:17.960
Just be you.
‐ Okay.

260
00:13:17.960 --> 00:13:19.710
‐ I mean, but don't, you know,

261
00:13:19.710 --> 00:13:22.300
say that we're together,
obviously, and, um...

262
00:13:22.300 --> 00:13:26.680
you know, maybe don't mention
that you're, um...

263
00:13:26.680 --> 00:13:28.220
‐ Gay?
‐ Yeah.

264
00:13:28.220 --> 00:13:31.140
Yeah, I think, actually,
it might be better just to avoid it.

265
00:13:31.140 --> 00:13:32.440
But don't lie.

266
00:13:32.440 --> 00:13:34.400
You're a very bad liar.

267
00:13:34.400 --> 00:13:35.650
‐ No, I'm not.

268
00:13:37.270 --> 00:13:39.610
‐ Hi!
‐ Hi.

269
00:13:39.610 --> 00:13:41.110
‐ Wait.

270
00:13:41.110 --> 00:13:42.490
‐ Mom, what are you doing?
[ camera clicking ]

271
00:13:42.490 --> 00:13:45.240
‐ I started an Instagram feed

272
00:13:45.240 --> 00:13:49.040
for your father to give voters
a peek behind the curtain.

273
00:13:49.040 --> 00:13:50.830
Your mother's going viral!

274
00:13:50.830 --> 00:13:52.460
‐ [ all chuckle ]

275
00:13:52.460 --> 00:13:53.580
TIPPER:
Hi!

276
00:13:53.580 --> 00:13:55.170
BOTH:
Aw.

277
00:13:55.170 --> 00:13:57.130
‐ Look at you.

278
00:13:57.130 --> 00:14:01.510
You get more and more beautiful
every single time I see you.

279
00:14:01.510 --> 00:14:03.930
‐ [ laughing ] Mom, stop.

280
00:14:03.930 --> 00:14:05.430
‐ Did you bring concealer?

281
00:14:05.430 --> 00:14:07.140
‐ Yeah. This is Abby.

282
00:14:07.140 --> 00:14:08.560
‐ Hi, Abby.

283
00:14:08.560 --> 00:14:10.180
‐ [ chuckles ]
TIPPER: It is so nice to meet you.

284
00:14:10.180 --> 00:14:11.600
‐ It's so nice to meet you, too.

285
00:14:11.600 --> 00:14:12.850
Thank you for having me here.

286
00:14:12.850 --> 00:14:14.270
‐ It is nothing.

287
00:14:14.270 --> 00:14:18.650
Harper's father and I are always happy
to open our doors to those in need.

288
00:14:18.650 --> 00:14:20.070
‐ Where is Dad?

289
00:14:20.070 --> 00:14:22.440
‐ Uh, he's on a call.
‐ Oh, okay. Well‐‐

290
00:14:22.440 --> 00:14:24.150
‐ Harper!
‐ [ gasping, yelling ]

291
00:14:24.150 --> 00:14:26.410
‐ Oh, Jane.
‐ [ Jane laughing ]

292
00:14:26.410 --> 00:14:28.160
HARPER:
Oh, I have asked you not to do that.

293
00:14:28.160 --> 00:14:29.660
‐ I know. I didn't listen.

294
00:14:29.660 --> 00:14:31.490
JANE: Oh. Yay!
HARPER: Oh.

295
00:14:31.490 --> 00:14:33.250
I didn't think you'd be here,
but here you are.

296
00:14:33.250 --> 00:14:34.830
‐ Oh, I didn't want to wait
one more second

297
00:14:34.830 --> 00:14:36.210
to see my little sis.
‐ Oh, what's this?

298
00:14:36.210 --> 00:14:37.750
‐ Oh, I was changing the air filters.
‐ It's sticky.

299
00:14:37.750 --> 00:14:39.750
‐ Thank you, Jane.

300
00:14:39.750 --> 00:14:41.460
‐ Yeah, hi. You must be Abby.

301
00:14:41.460 --> 00:14:44.220
‐ Yeah. Nice to meet you.
JANE: You, too.

302
00:14:44.220 --> 00:14:45.840
Um...

303
00:14:47.260 --> 00:14:50.050
I'm so sorry about your parents.

304
00:14:50.050 --> 00:14:51.470
HARPER:
Oh, no.

305
00:14:51.470 --> 00:14:53.470
‐ Uh, it‐it ha‐‐
It happened a long time ago.

306
00:14:54.850 --> 00:14:56.440
‐ You're so brave.

307
00:14:56.440 --> 00:14:57.940
ABBY: Oh.
JANE: You don't need to be.

308
00:14:57.940 --> 00:14:59.400
‐ Jane.
‐ Mom, can you just‐‐

309
00:14:59.400 --> 00:15:00.940
TIPPER:
Okay. That's enough, Jane.

310
00:15:00.940 --> 00:15:03.530
Jane, too much. Too much.
JANE: You're always safe with‐‐

311
00:15:03.530 --> 00:15:06.110
‐ So, this is our living room.

312
00:15:06.110 --> 00:15:07.990
‐ Wow, that's a beautiful piano.

313
00:15:07.990 --> 00:15:09.320
‐ Isn't it?

314
00:15:09.320 --> 00:15:11.370
Of course, I wish
my daughters had bothered

315
00:15:11.370 --> 00:15:13.540
to learn to play it,
but it does look nice.

316
00:15:13.540 --> 00:15:15.500
‐ I took lessons for eight years.

317
00:15:15.500 --> 00:15:17.170
TIPPER:
And this is the den.

318
00:15:17.170 --> 00:15:19.000
‐ You're sure Harry will be there
tomorrow night, right?

319
00:15:19.000 --> 00:15:20.040
Perfect.

320
00:15:20.040 --> 00:15:21.710
Oh, uh, Carolyn, I'll call you later.

321
00:15:21.710 --> 00:15:23.340
My daughter just arrived.

322
00:15:23.340 --> 00:15:25.170
There she is, my perfect girl.

323
00:15:25.170 --> 00:15:27.300
‐ Hi, Dad. [ laughs ]
‐ Oh, look at you.

324
00:15:27.300 --> 00:15:29.890
BOTH: Oh!
[ camera clicks ]

325
00:15:29.890 --> 00:15:32.310
‐ Hi, Dad.
‐ Jane, glad you're here.

326
00:15:32.310 --> 00:15:34.600
The Internet has been a little spotty.

327
00:15:34.600 --> 00:15:36.600
‐ Ugh, not again.

328
00:15:36.600 --> 00:15:39.230
‐ Oh, and this is Harper's orphan friend.

329
00:15:39.230 --> 00:15:40.980
HARPER: Oh.
‐ This is Abby.

330
00:15:40.980 --> 00:15:42.730
‐ Yes, of course.
ABBY: Hey, sir.

331
00:15:42.730 --> 00:15:44.360
‐ [ sighs ] Terrible.

332
00:15:44.360 --> 00:15:46.490
There, there.

333
00:15:46.490 --> 00:15:48.280
Harper, I read your piece
about that senator.

334
00:15:48.280 --> 00:15:49.700
He's got to resign, right?

335
00:15:49.700 --> 00:15:51.490
HARPER:
Yeah, I think it's just a matter of time.

336
00:15:51.490 --> 00:15:53.950
‐ That was a good piece.
‐ Aw.

337
00:15:53.950 --> 00:15:54.950
Thanks, Dad.

338
00:15:54.950 --> 00:15:56.580
‐ You know what was really good?

339
00:15:56.580 --> 00:15:58.960
Um, the speech that you made
at the food bank on Thanksgiving.

340
00:15:58.960 --> 00:16:01.380
‐ Oh, thank you. You‐you know,
that speech wasn't scripted.

341
00:16:01.380 --> 00:16:02.960
I ju‐‐ It just came to me.

342
00:16:02.960 --> 00:16:04.590
‐ You could tell. I mean, you were very‐‐

343
00:16:04.590 --> 00:16:06.420
‐ Okay, enough shoptalk. Let's continue.

344
00:16:06.420 --> 00:16:08.510
‐ Okay. Bye.
TED: See you later.

345
00:16:08.510 --> 00:16:11.050
‐ And this is Sloane's room.

346
00:16:11.050 --> 00:16:13.300
She's my eldest.

347
00:16:13.300 --> 00:16:14.720
‐ That's a lot of trophies.

348
00:16:14.720 --> 00:16:16.060
‐ Yes.

349
00:16:16.060 --> 00:16:17.730
She was brilliant.

350
00:16:17.730 --> 00:16:19.440
She and her husband Eric‐‐

351
00:16:19.440 --> 00:16:22.310
he graduated top of his class at Yale‐‐

352
00:16:22.310 --> 00:16:25.020
were very successful attorneys,

353
00:16:25.020 --> 00:16:28.780
but they gave it all up
to raise their beautiful twins,

354
00:16:28.780 --> 00:16:32.570
and now they make gift baskets.

355
00:16:35.120 --> 00:16:36.660
Which is great.

356
00:16:36.660 --> 00:16:38.120
HARPER:
Mm‐hmm.

357
00:16:38.120 --> 00:16:40.710
‐ What'd I miss? [ panting ]

358
00:16:44.090 --> 00:16:45.750
‐ Wow.

359
00:16:45.750 --> 00:16:48.170
‐ [ sighs ] I know, right?

360
00:16:48.170 --> 00:16:50.010
Ugh, is it hot in here,

361
00:16:50.010 --> 00:16:51.760
or is it just him?
HARPER: Okay.

362
00:16:51.760 --> 00:16:53.430
‐ Yummy, yummy, yummy.
HARPER: Okay.

363
00:16:53.430 --> 00:16:55.760
‐ No. Jane. No.
‐ Num, num.

364
00:16:55.760 --> 00:16:57.270
HARPER:
Mom, I thought you were gonna

365
00:16:57.270 --> 00:16:58.980
turn this room into your office.

366
00:16:58.980 --> 00:17:01.230
‐ Men need offices, dear.

367
00:17:01.230 --> 00:17:05.650
Oh, that is Harper's old
high school boyfriend Connor!

368
00:17:05.650 --> 00:17:08.650
[ laughs ]
HARPER: I asked you to put this away.

369
00:17:08.650 --> 00:17:10.530
TIPPER:
You know, he's still single.

370
00:17:10.530 --> 00:17:12.490
HARPER: Okay, Mom, stop, please.
TIPPER: Mm.

371
00:17:12.490 --> 00:17:14.240
Do you have a boyfriend, Abby?

372
00:17:14.240 --> 00:17:15.320
‐ No.

373
00:17:15.320 --> 00:17:16.620
But I have.

374
00:17:16.620 --> 00:17:18.700
'Cause... I have had many.

375
00:17:18.700 --> 00:17:22.500
Um, but‐but not too many;
an‐an appropriate amount.

376
00:17:22.500 --> 00:17:24.540
I actually just went through a breakup.

377
00:17:24.540 --> 00:17:26.920
‐ Oh, no.
TIPPER: Abby.

378
00:17:26.920 --> 00:17:28.590
‐ [ sighs ] Yeah, with, um...

379
00:17:28.590 --> 00:17:31.170
He was a‐‐ He was a milk... man.

380
00:17:31.170 --> 00:17:34.050
‐ Okay, and I think
we'll just settle in now.

381
00:17:34.050 --> 00:17:37.720
‐ Okay. Well, we'll just
show Abby to her room.

382
00:17:37.720 --> 00:17:40.640
‐ What, is she not gonna
stay up here with me?

383
00:17:40.640 --> 00:17:44.900
‐ Harper, I would never ask
two grown women to share the same bed.

384
00:17:44.900 --> 00:17:46.810
[ laughing ]
‐ Harper.

385
00:17:46.810 --> 00:17:50.150
‐ No, A‐Abby will stay in Jane's old room.

386
00:17:50.150 --> 00:17:51.610
‐ Oh, oh, I could show it to her.
‐ Okay.

387
00:17:51.610 --> 00:17:52.820
‐ I could take her down. Yeah, let's go.

388
00:17:52.820 --> 00:17:55.160
‐ Settle down.
JANE: I'm settled!

389
00:17:55.160 --> 00:17:57.740
‐ Okay.
[ door closes ]

390
00:17:59.910 --> 00:18:01.290
‐ Oh.

391
00:18:01.290 --> 00:18:02.790
Your room's in the basement.

392
00:18:02.790 --> 00:18:04.290
‐ Oh, yeah. I had night terrors.

393
00:18:04.290 --> 00:18:07.630
They put me down here so I wouldn't
wake everyone up. [ chuckles ]

394
00:18:07.630 --> 00:18:09.920
Behold. [ chuckles ]

395
00:18:12.130 --> 00:18:13.760
Cool, huh?

396
00:18:13.760 --> 00:18:15.010
‐ It's very cool.

397
00:18:15.010 --> 00:18:17.090
‐ It's my room.

398
00:18:17.090 --> 00:18:18.810
‐ Is everything okay?

399
00:18:18.810 --> 00:18:20.180
‐ Yeah. Yeah. Really good.

400
00:18:20.180 --> 00:18:21.930
‐ No, not you. No.
‐ Oh.

401
00:18:21.930 --> 00:18:23.430
‐ Yeah.
TIPPER: Thank you, Jane.

402
00:18:23.430 --> 00:18:27.020
Why don't you go on home and rest up
a little bit before dinner?

403
00:18:27.020 --> 00:18:28.610
‐ Okay.
‐ [ chuckles ]

404
00:18:28.610 --> 00:18:30.780
‐ Don't have any fun
without me. [ laughs ]

405
00:18:30.780 --> 00:18:33.150
‐ Yeah.
JANE: Bye.

406
00:18:33.150 --> 00:18:35.490
‐ I'm sorry about all this mess.

407
00:18:35.490 --> 00:18:37.320
‐ What? No, this is so nice.

408
00:18:37.320 --> 00:18:39.910
‐ Better than your room at the orphanage?

409
00:18:39.910 --> 00:18:42.250
‐ Oh, I‐I wasn't in an orphanage,

410
00:18:42.250 --> 00:18:44.960
'cause I‐I was 19 when my parents died.

411
00:18:44.960 --> 00:18:47.210
‐ Oh. One of the lucky ones.

412
00:18:47.210 --> 00:18:48.380
‐ Well...

413
00:18:48.380 --> 00:18:50.290
TIPPER:
I'll let you settle in.

414
00:18:50.290 --> 00:18:52.460
We leave for dinner at 6:45.

415
00:18:52.460 --> 00:18:53.670
‐ Okay.

416
00:18:53.670 --> 00:18:55.760
‐ Oh, there's no lock on this door.

417
00:18:55.760 --> 00:18:58.010
We had it removed
because Jane was always scared

418
00:18:58.010 --> 00:19:00.510
that we would lock her in.

419
00:19:00.510 --> 00:19:02.680
But don't worry,
you'll have total privacy.

420
00:19:02.680 --> 00:19:04.480
‐ Okay. [ chuckles ] Thank you.

421
00:19:04.480 --> 00:19:05.980
‐ Okay.

422
00:19:07.020 --> 00:19:08.730
[ "Nothing Rhymes with Christmas"
by Ana Gasteyer playing ]

423
00:19:08.730 --> 00:19:12.320
♪ Nothing rhymes with Christmas ♪

424
00:19:12.320 --> 00:19:14.320
♪ Every poet knows... ♪

425
00:19:14.320 --> 00:19:15.740
JANE: Milady.
ABBY: Thank you.

426
00:19:16.780 --> 00:19:18.160
COLLEEN:
Is this all right?

427
00:19:18.160 --> 00:19:19.740
‐ This is perfect, Colleen. Thank you.

428
00:19:19.740 --> 00:19:22.290
‐ Oh, actually, I think we're
gonna need one more chair.

429
00:19:22.290 --> 00:19:23.580
COLLEEN:
I'll have one brought over.

430
00:19:23.580 --> 00:19:25.290
‐ Oh, who else is joining us?

431
00:19:25.290 --> 00:19:27.040
‐ Hey, guys. How's it going?

432
00:19:27.040 --> 00:19:29.880
‐ [ chuckling ] Connor!
How funny to see you here.

433
00:19:29.880 --> 00:19:31.130
‐ You told me to be here at 7:00, right?

434
00:19:31.130 --> 00:19:32.750
TIPPER: Shh. Oh, wow.
JANE: Hey.
CONNOR: How you doing?

435
00:19:32.750 --> 00:19:34.340
TED:
Great to see you, Connor.

436
00:19:34.340 --> 00:19:35.380
‐ Hey, Ted. How you doing?
‐ Great.

437
00:19:35.380 --> 00:19:37.130
‐ Hi, Connor.
CONNOR: Hi, Jane.

438
00:19:37.130 --> 00:19:38.430
Hi. It's been a minute.
‐ Hi.

439
00:19:38.430 --> 00:19:39.590
‐ How are you?
‐ Yeah. Hey.

440
00:19:39.590 --> 00:19:41.600
‐ Connor, this is Harper's friend Abby.

441
00:19:41.600 --> 00:19:43.220
CONNOR: Oh, hey. Connor.
‐ Hey.
‐ She's an orphan.

442
00:19:43.220 --> 00:19:45.140
‐ Oh, um, I'm so sorry.
‐ Jane.

443
00:19:45.140 --> 00:19:46.390
CONNOR: I‐‐
‐ What?
‐ What are you doing?

444
00:19:46.390 --> 00:19:47.560
‐ She is.
‐ No, it's‐it's‐‐

445
00:19:47.560 --> 00:19:48.560
‐ It's all we have.

446
00:19:48.560 --> 00:19:49.770
TIPPER:
All right.

447
00:19:49.770 --> 00:19:51.400
Thank you. Let's all take a seat.

448
00:19:51.400 --> 00:19:53.400
‐ [ Harper sighing ]

449
00:19:55.990 --> 00:19:57.990
Do you want to switch?
‐ No.

450
00:19:57.990 --> 00:20:00.160
No, this is perfect.
‐ Okay.

451
00:20:00.160 --> 00:20:02.160
JANE: And then in the third chapter,
the Shadow Dreamers

452
00:20:02.160 --> 00:20:05.160
discover that the gemstone
that they thought was inside the gork

453
00:20:05.160 --> 00:20:08.330
was actually stolen by an evil floam,
which is sort of like a maggel

454
00:20:08.330 --> 00:20:10.120
but with less arms and more powers.

455
00:20:10.120 --> 00:20:11.420
‐ Oh, wow.

456
00:20:11.420 --> 00:20:12.840
That's amazing. It really is.

457
00:20:12.840 --> 00:20:15.000
‐ Jane, I just can't believe
you're still working on that book.

458
00:20:15.000 --> 00:20:16.050
It's been like ten years.

459
00:20:16.050 --> 00:20:17.670
‐ Takes a long time to build a world.

460
00:20:17.670 --> 00:20:21.180
‐ You know what I was
thinking about the other day?

461
00:20:21.180 --> 00:20:23.720
I was thinking about that trip

462
00:20:23.720 --> 00:20:26.270
that we took to our old house
in Jackson Hole

463
00:20:26.270 --> 00:20:28.600
when Harper got chicken pox.
CONNOR: Oh, yeah.

464
00:20:28.600 --> 00:20:29.810
[ laughing ] Oh, God.

465
00:20:29.810 --> 00:20:31.190
‐ Harper told me this story.

466
00:20:31.190 --> 00:20:35.320
‐ Then you must know that
she very quickly gave it to Connor.

467
00:20:35.320 --> 00:20:36.610
‐ Yes, she did.
‐ [ laughter ]

468
00:20:36.610 --> 00:20:38.110
CONNOR: Very quickly.
TED: The two of them

469
00:20:38.110 --> 00:20:40.070
didn't leave the cabin for the whole trip,

470
00:20:40.070 --> 00:20:41.530
if I remember correctly.
CONNOR: No.
‐ Oh, my goodness.

471
00:20:41.530 --> 00:20:43.700
‐ Literally in a cabin running a fever.

472
00:20:43.700 --> 00:20:44.950
TED: Yeah.
‐ Together.

473
00:20:44.950 --> 00:20:46.790
‐ Together. Yep, yep.
TIPPER: Really laughing a lot.

474
00:20:46.790 --> 00:20:48.540
CONNOR:
It was ground zero for chicken pox.

475
00:20:48.540 --> 00:20:50.370
Yeah. God, that was fun.
You know, I really,

476
00:20:50.370 --> 00:20:51.920
really loved going on those trips.
‐ Fun.

477
00:20:51.920 --> 00:20:53.790
‐ Well, we loved having you, son.
TIPPER: That was lovely.

478
00:20:53.790 --> 00:20:55.250
‐ Should we go to the ladies' room?

479
00:20:55.250 --> 00:20:58.010
‐ Oh, I‐I would hate to miss
some of these stories.

480
00:20:58.010 --> 00:21:00.090
‐ No, we'll be quick.

481
00:21:03.340 --> 00:21:05.970
‐ [ chuckles ]
‐ I am so sorry.

482
00:21:05.970 --> 00:21:07.930
I had no idea he was gonna be here.

483
00:21:07.930 --> 00:21:09.390
I swear.

484
00:21:09.390 --> 00:21:11.350
‐ It's funny, I remember you
telling me that story.

485
00:21:11.350 --> 00:21:13.190
I think you just forgot
to mention that Connor

486
00:21:13.190 --> 00:21:15.020
was also there.
‐ [ sighs ] I know.

487
00:21:15.020 --> 00:21:18.940
I‐I don't know, he didn't seem like
an important part of the story.

488
00:21:18.940 --> 00:21:22.610
Look, I'm gonna talk to my mom,
and I'm gonna make sure that

489
00:21:22.610 --> 00:21:25.450
nothing like this happens
for the rest of the trip, okay?

490
00:21:26.990 --> 00:21:29.120
‐ You can be totally honest with me.

491
00:21:29.120 --> 00:21:30.540
Like, about anything.

492
00:21:30.540 --> 00:21:32.250
Seriously, I can take it.

493
00:21:33.290 --> 00:21:35.000
‐ Okay.

494
00:21:36.590 --> 00:21:39.090
Then you should know that
it is very difficult

495
00:21:39.090 --> 00:21:42.090
to sit next to you at dinner
and not be able to kiss you.

496
00:21:47.140 --> 00:21:48.850
‐ Yeah.

497
00:21:49.890 --> 00:21:51.730
‐ No more surprises.

498
00:21:51.730 --> 00:21:53.350
I promise.

499
00:21:57.770 --> 00:22:00.150
Riley.
RILEY: Mm.

500
00:22:00.150 --> 00:22:01.940
Harper.

501
00:22:02.950 --> 00:22:04.910
‐ Mm. Uh...

502
00:22:04.910 --> 00:22:06.570
‐ Sorry, um...

503
00:22:06.570 --> 00:22:08.080
Riley, this is Abby.

504
00:22:08.080 --> 00:22:09.950
Abby is my‐‐
‐ Orphan.

505
00:22:09.950 --> 00:22:11.370
Roommate. We‐‐

506
00:22:11.370 --> 00:22:13.330
I am an orphan, but we live together.

507
00:22:13.330 --> 00:22:14.620
As friends, um, like acquaintances.

508
00:22:14.620 --> 00:22:16.380
‐ Oh, please stop.
‐ Yeah.

509
00:22:16.380 --> 00:22:18.090
‐ Nice to meet you.

510
00:22:18.090 --> 00:22:20.170
So, I'm just gonna sneak on by you guys.

511
00:22:20.170 --> 00:22:21.380
‐ Oh, God. Sorry.

512
00:22:21.380 --> 00:22:23.300
Sorry. Just...

513
00:22:25.300 --> 00:22:26.930
‐ Was that the Riley?

514
00:22:26.930 --> 00:22:30.010
‐ Okay, that one really wasn't my fault.

515
00:22:30.010 --> 00:22:31.640
‐ Well, who knows, maybe...

516
00:22:31.640 --> 00:22:34.270
maybe another one of your exes
will bring out dessert.

517
00:22:34.270 --> 00:22:36.650
‐ Okay.
‐ Oh, my God.

518
00:22:36.650 --> 00:22:39.730
‐ Harper, did you see
that the Bennetts are here?

519
00:22:39.730 --> 00:22:40.860
HARPER:
Uh...

520
00:22:42.400 --> 00:22:43.990
Yeah. We just ran into Riley.

521
00:22:43.990 --> 00:22:45.910
‐ Did you hear she's doing
her residency at Johns Hopkins?

522
00:22:45.910 --> 00:22:47.780
‐ I should have her look at my mole.

523
00:22:47.780 --> 00:22:50.530
‐ No, um, I hadn't heard that.

524
00:22:50.530 --> 00:22:52.080
‐ It's very impressive.

525
00:22:52.080 --> 00:22:53.790
Her parents must be proud.

526
00:22:53.790 --> 00:22:55.330
And relieved.

527
00:22:55.330 --> 00:22:57.170
‐ I know. That lifestyle choice.

528
00:22:57.170 --> 00:22:59.540
[ Tipper chuckles ]
TED: Mm. Such a shame.

529
00:22:59.540 --> 00:23:00.630
‐ Abby, what do you do?

530
00:23:00.630 --> 00:23:05.550
‐ Oh, I'm‐I'm working on my PhD
in art history over at Carnegie Mellon.

531
00:23:05.550 --> 00:23:07.220
My parents were professors there,

532
00:23:07.220 --> 00:23:09.680
so I kind of wanted to follow
in their footsteps.

533
00:23:09.680 --> 00:23:11.760
‐ You know, before law school,

534
00:23:11.760 --> 00:23:15.480
I took all the money I had
and went to Paris for a month.

535
00:23:15.480 --> 00:23:17.770
Spent every day in museums.

536
00:23:17.770 --> 00:23:20.560
That experience made me the man I am.

537
00:23:20.560 --> 00:23:22.070
‐ That‐that must have been incredible.

538
00:23:22.070 --> 00:23:23.230
What a dream.

539
00:23:23.230 --> 00:23:25.320
‐ It was.

540
00:23:25.320 --> 00:23:27.860
Boy, Carnegie Mellon, huh?

541
00:23:27.860 --> 00:23:29.780
Bet you could teach me a thing or two.

542
00:23:29.780 --> 00:23:31.240
‐ [ chuckles ]
JANE: Should I go over there?

543
00:23:31.240 --> 00:23:32.370
TED:
No, darling, no.

544
00:23:32.370 --> 00:23:33.700
JANE:
I do think it's getting bigger.

545
00:23:33.700 --> 00:23:35.200
TIPPER: No.
TED: Stay at the table, Jane.

546
00:23:38.920 --> 00:23:40.040
[ knocking ]

547
00:23:42.090 --> 00:23:44.630
‐ Oh. You settling in okay?
ABBY: Hey.

548
00:23:44.630 --> 00:23:46.050
Yeah. Yeah.

549
00:23:46.050 --> 00:23:49.640
You're such a wonderful host,
so I'm great.

550
00:23:49.640 --> 00:23:51.260
‐ Thank you, Abby.

551
00:23:51.260 --> 00:23:52.510
Thank you.

552
00:23:52.510 --> 00:23:53.810
‐ Hi.
‐ Hi, sweetie.

553
00:23:53.810 --> 00:23:55.220
Do you need something?

554
00:23:55.220 --> 00:23:57.180
‐ No, just to say good night to Abby.

555
00:23:57.180 --> 00:23:58.890
‐ Oh.

556
00:24:00.600 --> 00:24:02.230
‐ Mom, do you mind?

557
00:24:02.230 --> 00:24:04.020
‐ Oh. [ laughs ]

558
00:24:04.020 --> 00:24:05.780
I get it. Girl talk.

559
00:24:05.780 --> 00:24:07.530
Okay, when you finish, um,

560
00:24:07.530 --> 00:24:09.610
I want to give you
a little early Christmas present.

561
00:24:09.610 --> 00:24:10.820
‐ Ooh, okay.

562
00:24:10.820 --> 00:24:12.410
‐ Night.
TIPPER: Night, Abby.

563
00:24:14.950 --> 00:24:16.700
‐ [ sighs ]

564
00:24:18.460 --> 00:24:20.460
Tonight wasn't the best.

565
00:24:20.460 --> 00:24:22.040
‐ Yeah.

566
00:24:22.040 --> 00:24:23.590
But we got through it.

567
00:24:23.590 --> 00:24:25.210
‐ You know, you're right.

568
00:24:25.210 --> 00:24:27.210
You are really good with parents.

569
00:24:27.210 --> 00:24:28.920
‐ You think they like me?

570
00:24:28.920 --> 00:24:30.630
‐ Definitely.

571
00:24:30.630 --> 00:24:33.680
‐ You think they like me
as much as they love Connor?

572
00:24:33.680 --> 00:24:36.060
‐ Oh, no. No, no.

573
00:24:36.060 --> 00:24:38.430
But they don't even really
like me that much, so...

574
00:24:38.430 --> 00:24:40.100
‐ [ laughing ] Oh.

575
00:24:40.100 --> 00:24:41.560
‐ [ Harper mutters ]

576
00:24:45.440 --> 00:24:47.440
I love you.
‐ I love you.

577
00:24:49.650 --> 00:24:51.660
[ chuckling ] Stop it.
‐ [ laughs ]

578
00:24:52.820 --> 00:24:55.030
JOHN:
The hell did it go?

579
00:24:55.030 --> 00:24:57.870
Cheap freaking puzzle.

580
00:24:57.870 --> 00:24:59.870
[ cell phone vibrating ]

581
00:24:59.870 --> 00:25:02.210
Yeah, Abby, I'm in the middle
of something right now.

582
00:25:02.210 --> 00:25:03.830
Is everything okay?
ABBY: Yeah.

583
00:25:03.830 --> 00:25:04.880
I'm just checking on the animals.

584
00:25:04.880 --> 00:25:05.880
JOHN:
Oh, they're all good.

585
00:25:05.880 --> 00:25:07.000
I walked the dog.

586
00:25:07.000 --> 00:25:08.260
Fed him, fed the cats.

587
00:25:08.260 --> 00:25:10.260
All are well.
ABBY: What about the fish?

588
00:25:11.300 --> 00:25:12.840
‐ Uh, the fish are‐‐ Yeah.

589
00:25:12.840 --> 00:25:15.220
The‐the‐the fish are‐are‐‐ Yes. Yeah.

590
00:25:15.220 --> 00:25:16.390
But enough about me.

591
00:25:16.390 --> 00:25:17.390
Have you managed

592
00:25:17.390 --> 00:25:21.940
to get a man's permission to take
ownership of an adult human woman yet?

593
00:25:21.940 --> 00:25:23.350
‐ Not exactly.

594
00:25:23.350 --> 00:25:24.770
‐ What's going on? You sound tense.

595
00:25:24.770 --> 00:25:26.270
ABBY:
No, I'm not tense. I'm great.

596
00:25:26.270 --> 00:25:28.280
There's just one tiny thing.

597
00:25:28.280 --> 00:25:29.940
Um...

598
00:25:31.740 --> 00:25:34.110
Harper isn't out, and her parents
don't know we're together.

599
00:25:34.110 --> 00:25:37.280
‐ Okay, you know what,
I always felt like something was off.

600
00:25:37.280 --> 00:25:39.200
You can't go over a year without meeting

601
00:25:39.200 --> 00:25:40.450
your significant other's parents.

602
00:25:40.450 --> 00:25:41.620
Trust me, I have tried.

603
00:25:41.620 --> 00:25:43.040
‐ I know, but it's not that big of a deal,

604
00:25:43.040 --> 00:25:45.380
'cause she does plan on telling them
immediately after the holidays.

605
00:25:45.380 --> 00:25:48.250
‐ So, what, her parents are believing
that their straight daughter

606
00:25:48.250 --> 00:25:51.420
brought home her lesbian friend
for Christmas?

607
00:25:51.420 --> 00:25:52.720
‐ No. [ scoffs ]

608
00:25:52.720 --> 00:25:56.140
No. They also think that I'm...

609
00:25:56.140 --> 00:25:58.260
that I'm straight.

610
00:25:58.260 --> 00:26:00.020
‐ Have they ever met a lesbian?

611
00:26:00.020 --> 00:26:01.310
‐ It's not so bad.

612
00:26:01.310 --> 00:26:03.230
It's kind of fun having a secret.

613
00:26:03.230 --> 00:26:04.850
‐ Yeah, I mean,
there's nothing more erotic

614
00:26:04.850 --> 00:26:06.690
than concealing your authentic selves.

615
00:26:06.690 --> 00:26:09.860
‐ I know it's not ideal. I‐‐

616
00:26:09.860 --> 00:26:12.400
But I‐I know that it's what
she needs right now, so...

617
00:26:20.450 --> 00:26:22.660
[ gasps ]

618
00:26:22.660 --> 00:26:24.120
‐ Who are you?

619
00:26:24.120 --> 00:26:26.210
‐ I'm Abby.

620
00:26:26.210 --> 00:26:27.920
‐ Do you work here?

621
00:26:27.920 --> 00:26:29.550
‐ No, I'm H‐Harper's friend.

622
00:26:29.550 --> 00:26:31.550
SLOANE:
Kids?

623
00:26:31.550 --> 00:26:33.130
Where are you?

624
00:26:33.130 --> 00:26:35.130
Hey.

625
00:26:35.130 --> 00:26:37.220
What are you doing in here? Out.

626
00:26:38.800 --> 00:26:40.720
MATILDA:
But that's our room.

627
00:26:40.720 --> 00:26:42.270
‐ Sorry about them. I'm Sloane.

628
00:26:42.270 --> 00:26:44.100
MATILDA:
Why does she get to sleep in there?

629
00:26:44.100 --> 00:26:46.850
‐ Hi. I'm...
SLOANE: Because she's a grown‐up, sweetie.

630
00:26:46.850 --> 00:26:48.520
‐ ...Abby.

631
00:26:48.520 --> 00:26:50.860
SLOANE: [ in distance ]
Come. We're having breakfast.

632
00:27:03.540 --> 00:27:04.870
‐ [ yawns ]

633
00:27:04.870 --> 00:27:06.460
‐ Are you tired?

634
00:27:06.460 --> 00:27:08.080
Not me. I like the morning.

635
00:27:08.080 --> 00:27:11.340
But then I have something meaningful
to get out of bed for, so...

636
00:27:11.340 --> 00:27:13.590
KIDS:
Thank you, Mommy.

637
00:27:13.590 --> 00:27:15.090
‐ Snowman pancakes.

638
00:27:15.090 --> 00:27:18.300
God, that's a lot of work for something
that's just gonna turn to shit.

639
00:27:18.300 --> 00:27:20.140
Oh, but that's kind of like
your law degree.

640
00:27:20.140 --> 00:27:22.220
‐ It must be freeing
to be so self‐involved

641
00:27:22.220 --> 00:27:24.220
you don't realize that's actually
not appropriate language

642
00:27:24.220 --> 00:27:25.430
to use in front of children.

643
00:27:25.430 --> 00:27:26.810
ERIC:
We got everything out of the van.

644
00:27:27.850 --> 00:27:29.150
‐ Thank you, honey.
‐ Mm‐hmm.

645
00:27:29.150 --> 00:27:31.230
‐ Oh, this is‐‐
‐ Abby. I'm Eric.

646
00:27:31.230 --> 00:27:32.690
‐ Nice to meet you.
ERIC: Mm‐hmm.

647
00:27:32.690 --> 00:27:36.280
A teaspoon of coconut oil‐‐
add some nice moisture to those hands.

648
00:27:36.280 --> 00:27:37.860
‐ Oh.

649
00:27:37.860 --> 00:27:39.200
Yeah, thank you.

650
00:27:42.370 --> 00:27:45.450
So, you and your sister
are pretty intense.

651
00:27:45.450 --> 00:27:47.830
‐ What do you mean?

652
00:27:47.830 --> 00:27:49.000
‐ Freeze!
ERIC: Ooh.

653
00:27:49.000 --> 00:27:52.670
‐ Don't move one more muscle
before I hug you!

654
00:27:52.670 --> 00:27:54.420
‐ Hi, Jane.
JANE: Oh. Oh, hi.

655
00:27:54.420 --> 00:27:55.880
‐ Oh. Yay.
‐ [ Jane laughs ]

656
00:27:55.880 --> 00:27:56.970
‐ [ Sloane clears throat ]

657
00:27:56.970 --> 00:27:58.930
JANE: Hi, Eric. Hi.
ERIC: Hi, Jane.

658
00:27:58.930 --> 00:28:01.800
‐ Hi, you guys. Hi.

659
00:28:01.800 --> 00:28:03.060
Um... [ chuckles ]

660
00:28:03.060 --> 00:28:04.720
Gosh, you're so big.

661
00:28:04.720 --> 00:28:06.680
What are you, college students?

662
00:28:06.680 --> 00:28:09.140
‐ We're in elementary school.

663
00:28:09.140 --> 00:28:11.270
‐ Yeah. No, I‐I know. I'm just‐‐

664
00:28:11.270 --> 00:28:13.360
You're just so tall, you know?

665
00:28:13.360 --> 00:28:14.900
‐ Here they are.
‐ My babies.

666
00:28:16.610 --> 00:28:19.030
Aw...

667
00:28:19.030 --> 00:28:21.070
‐ Hi, Daddy.
‐ Did you get Harper's article I sent you?

668
00:28:21.070 --> 00:28:22.950
SLOANE: I did.
TED: Good, right?

669
00:28:22.950 --> 00:28:24.120
‐ Mm. Mm‐hmm. Mm.
‐ Uh‐huh.

670
00:28:24.120 --> 00:28:25.870
ERIC: Ted.
‐ Eric.

671
00:28:25.870 --> 00:28:27.330
Good to see you.
SLOANE: Hi, Mom.

672
00:28:27.330 --> 00:28:28.500
TIPPER: [ chuckling ]
Hi.

673
00:28:28.500 --> 00:28:30.290
‐ Morning.
‐ Morning, Abby.

674
00:28:30.290 --> 00:28:32.840
Hey, girls, come here.
TIPPER: I'm good.
ERIC: Hi.

675
00:28:32.840 --> 00:28:34.290
‐ Just‐just‐just come over here.

676
00:28:34.290 --> 00:28:36.000
TIPPER: Just move a bit.
TED: I cannot believe

677
00:28:36.000 --> 00:28:39.260
I've got all my daughters under one roof.

678
00:28:39.260 --> 00:28:41.220
Mm, mm.
‐ This is great content.

679
00:28:41.220 --> 00:28:42.680
‐ Oh.
‐ Hold it. Hold it.

680
00:28:42.680 --> 00:28:43.680
‐ And smile.
TED: Hold on.

681
00:28:43.680 --> 00:28:45.470
JANE: Daddy.
‐ Uh‐huh. Uh‐huh.
‐ Got it.

682
00:28:45.470 --> 00:28:47.140
‐ Okay. I got to shower.

683
00:28:47.140 --> 00:28:49.140
Hey, big night tonight, girls.
‐ That's too much.

684
00:28:49.140 --> 00:28:50.810
‐ We're meeting a major donor
at the party.

685
00:28:50.810 --> 00:28:52.650
Harper, I need you to bring your A game.

686
00:28:52.650 --> 00:28:54.730
‐ Got it.
‐ Dad, do you need me to do anything?

687
00:28:54.730 --> 00:28:56.150
‐ Honey, no.

688
00:28:56.150 --> 00:28:59.070
You just bring that beautiful family
and show them off.

689
00:28:59.070 --> 00:29:00.490
Who knows?

690
00:29:00.490 --> 00:29:02.780
These might be the only
grandchildren we ever have.

691
00:29:02.780 --> 00:29:05.330
TIPPER:
And it is crucial that we take

692
00:29:05.330 --> 00:29:08.500
the family holiday photo
for the Instagram tonight,

693
00:29:08.500 --> 00:29:12.210
so don't wear anything
that will strobe, Jane.

694
00:29:12.210 --> 00:29:14.840
‐ [ Jane chuckles softly ]

695
00:29:14.840 --> 00:29:16.840
[ sighs ]

696
00:29:16.840 --> 00:29:18.460
Okay.

697
00:29:18.460 --> 00:29:21.550
Who's ready to go ice‐skating?

698
00:29:21.550 --> 00:29:23.760
Are you ready? [ chuckles ]
‐ No.

699
00:29:23.760 --> 00:29:25.760
♪ upbeat holiday music ♪

700
00:29:30.270 --> 00:29:32.480
‐ Let me know if you guys
need any more room.

701
00:29:32.480 --> 00:29:35.020
I can make myself real small.

702
00:29:36.060 --> 00:29:39.280
‐ So, Sloane and Eric,
you guys make gift baskets, right?

703
00:29:39.280 --> 00:29:40.610
‐ No.

704
00:29:40.610 --> 00:29:43.200
We create curated gift experiences

705
00:29:43.200 --> 00:29:45.620
inside of handmade reclaimed wood vessels.

706
00:29:45.620 --> 00:29:47.200
‐ Yeah, the vessels are gorgeous.

707
00:29:47.200 --> 00:29:48.200
She has impeccable taste.

708
00:29:48.200 --> 00:29:50.200
‐ Oh, no, honey, you have the eye.

709
00:29:50.200 --> 00:29:51.580
‐ Aw.
‐ Mm.

710
00:29:51.580 --> 00:29:52.920
‐ That sounds great.

711
00:29:52.920 --> 00:29:54.330
SLOANE:
Yeah, Gwynnie seems to think so.

712
00:29:54.330 --> 00:29:56.130
Paltrow. Goop picked us up,

713
00:29:56.130 --> 00:29:58.090
and sales have been
through the roof ever since.

714
00:29:59.130 --> 00:30:00.380
‐ [ Harper sighs ]

715
00:30:00.380 --> 00:30:02.760
‐ [ lively chatter ]

716
00:30:06.930 --> 00:30:08.100
HARPER:
Hey.

717
00:30:08.100 --> 00:30:09.470
‐ Hey.

718
00:30:09.470 --> 00:30:11.430
‐ Are you sure you're okay?
‐ Yeah.

719
00:30:11.430 --> 00:30:13.020
No, this is so fun.

720
00:30:13.020 --> 00:30:14.390
‐ Whoa.

721
00:30:14.390 --> 00:30:16.770
‐ Sloane, do you need a helper?

722
00:30:16.770 --> 00:30:19.400
‐ Please. I've always
skated circles around you.

723
00:30:19.400 --> 00:30:21.740
‐ [ chuckles ] That was in your youth.

724
00:30:21.740 --> 00:30:23.570
I mean, I've lapped you
like 12 times today.

725
00:30:23.570 --> 00:30:26.410
‐ Like I'm even trying.
‐ Like it would even matter.

726
00:30:26.410 --> 00:30:28.660
‐ 20 bucks says I can do
two laps in under a minute.

727
00:30:28.660 --> 00:30:30.240
‐ 50 bucks says I can do three.

728
00:30:30.240 --> 00:30:31.830
‐ Let's do it. Jane, time us.

729
00:30:31.830 --> 00:30:33.250
‐ Oh, I'm actually having fun just‐‐

730
00:30:33.250 --> 00:30:36.040
BOTH: Jane.
‐ Okay, fun. Yeah.

731
00:30:36.040 --> 00:30:37.830
No problem.

732
00:30:37.830 --> 00:30:40.250
♪ tense music ♪

733
00:30:41.380 --> 00:30:42.380
JANE:
Ready?

734
00:30:43.420 --> 00:30:45.380
Set.

735
00:30:45.380 --> 00:30:46.680
Go.
‐ [ both grunt ]

736
00:30:49.220 --> 00:30:50.140
‐ [ chuckles ]

737
00:30:51.220 --> 00:30:52.640
‐ Move!
‐ No!

738
00:30:52.640 --> 00:30:54.480
‐ I love it when they do this.

739
00:30:55.640 --> 00:30:57.020
ERIC: What are they doing?
‐ They're racing.

740
00:30:57.020 --> 00:30:58.310
‐ Ah, yeah.

741
00:30:58.310 --> 00:31:01.110
‐ Jane, time!
‐ Oh, I forgot to press start.

742
00:31:01.110 --> 00:31:03.110
How long do you guys think‐‐
‐ Don't‐don't tell them that.

743
00:31:03.110 --> 00:31:04.740
‐ You need to take a break yet, Sloane?

744
00:31:04.740 --> 00:31:05.860
‐ Huh, maybe you should just

745
00:31:05.860 --> 00:31:07.490
worry about yourself.
‐ Oh, yeah?

746
00:31:08.200 --> 00:31:09.740
[ yelps ]
‐ [ man grunts ]

747
00:31:09.740 --> 00:31:10.990
‐ Oh!
‐ Ooh.

748
00:31:10.990 --> 00:31:12.290
‐ [ chuckles ]

749
00:31:12.290 --> 00:31:14.250
[ yelps, screams ]
‐ [ man grunts ]

750
00:31:14.250 --> 00:31:15.710
‐ Mm.
‐ Ow.

751
00:31:15.710 --> 00:31:17.040
ABBY:
Should we stop them?

752
00:31:17.040 --> 00:31:19.250
ERIC: No, they'll
tire themselves out eventually.

753
00:31:19.250 --> 00:31:20.290
‐ [ laughing ] Yeah. That's right.

754
00:31:20.290 --> 00:31:21.460
‐ That's the way it goes.
HARPER: Whoo!

755
00:31:21.460 --> 00:31:22.880
Get off me!

756
00:31:22.880 --> 00:31:24.300
‐ I love you guys. I love you.

757
00:31:24.300 --> 00:31:25.760
HARPER:
No! You're such a cheater!

758
00:31:25.760 --> 00:31:27.680
‐ Stop it! [ shouts ]
‐ You stop it!

759
00:31:27.680 --> 00:31:29.010
‐ ...a little restless.
‐ They're gonna need to turn around.

760
00:31:29.010 --> 00:31:30.600
‐ Look, some of us were here
when you said to be here.

761
00:31:30.600 --> 00:31:32.510
‐ Jane, is that‐‐
That's what you're wearing, right?
‐ Yeah.

762
00:31:32.510 --> 00:31:34.390
TIPPER:
All right. Harper!

763
00:31:34.390 --> 00:31:36.770
Eric, can you make them be still?

764
00:31:36.770 --> 00:31:38.600
‐ Wow.

765
00:31:38.600 --> 00:31:40.360
‐ It's my early Christmas present.

766
00:31:40.360 --> 00:31:42.520
TIPPER:
Harper, please come here.

767
00:31:42.520 --> 00:31:43.780
‐ Honey, we're very late.

768
00:31:43.780 --> 00:31:45.740
‐ Ted, the family holiday photo

769
00:31:45.740 --> 00:31:48.160
is an essential element
of every candidate's feed,

770
00:31:48.160 --> 00:31:50.990
and if we cannot manage to post one,

771
00:31:50.990 --> 00:31:53.700
we do not deserve to have
that account at all.

772
00:31:53.700 --> 00:31:55.040
TED: All right. Up, up, up, kids.
‐ That is so true.

773
00:31:55.040 --> 00:31:56.250
TIPPER: Jane, get out of the middle.
‐ Come on, Matilda.

774
00:31:56.250 --> 00:31:57.620
‐ Oh.
SLOANE: You have to stand, honey.

775
00:31:57.620 --> 00:31:59.580
TIPPER:
Abby, would you mind taking that?

776
00:31:59.580 --> 00:32:01.250
‐ Yeah, not at all.
‐ Oh, thank you.

777
00:32:01.250 --> 00:32:04.050
‐ Okay, here we go. Here we go.
‐ Around and face this way.

778
00:32:04.050 --> 00:32:05.460
Thank you.
‐ Okay.

779
00:32:05.460 --> 00:32:07.800
‐ Everyone say, "Christmas."

780
00:32:07.800 --> 00:32:09.220
‐ No, don't say that.

781
00:32:09.220 --> 00:32:10.550
Just smile.

782
00:32:10.550 --> 00:32:12.550
[ camera clicking ]

783
00:32:12.550 --> 00:32:14.260
‐ Okay.
‐ [ Tipper chuckling ]

784
00:32:14.260 --> 00:32:16.310
Ah, good. I can't wait.

785
00:32:16.310 --> 00:32:19.230
Blurry. Boring.

786
00:32:19.230 --> 00:32:20.940
Nope. Nope. Nope.

787
00:32:20.940 --> 00:32:22.860
Okay, none of these will do.

788
00:32:22.860 --> 00:32:25.730
Uh, we will try again tomorrow.

789
00:32:25.730 --> 00:32:27.820
Thank you.
HARPER: Where's Abby?

790
00:32:27.820 --> 00:32:29.820
♪ upbeat holiday music ♪

791
00:32:31.870 --> 00:32:33.870
‐ [ quiet chatter ]

792
00:32:46.210 --> 00:32:48.590
‐ Ted, Tipper. [ laughs, squeals ]

793
00:32:48.590 --> 00:32:50.680
Oh, I'm so glad you made it.

794
00:32:50.680 --> 00:32:52.890
Oh, mwah. Oh.
‐ Carolyn, you are a vision.

795
00:32:52.890 --> 00:32:54.680
TIPPER: Gorgeous dress.
TED: Mwah.

796
00:32:54.680 --> 00:32:57.270
Uh, you remember my daughters
Harper, Jane and Sloane.

797
00:32:57.270 --> 00:32:58.520
Sloane's husband Eric.

798
00:32:58.520 --> 00:33:00.520
Their children Matilda and Magnus.

799
00:33:00.520 --> 00:33:02.850
And this is Harper's friend Abby.

800
00:33:02.850 --> 00:33:05.150
CAROLYN:
Charmed. This is my assistant Levi.

801
00:33:05.150 --> 00:33:08.780
Though, truth be told, in a few years,
we'll probably all be working for him.

802
00:33:08.780 --> 00:33:10.320
‐ [ laughs ] Oh, you're too kind.

803
00:33:10.320 --> 00:33:11.820
‐ Oh.
‐ Is the white whale here?

804
00:33:11.820 --> 00:33:13.240
‐ Ah, indeed. Let me take you over.

805
00:33:13.240 --> 00:33:15.370
‐ Oh, Harper, come with us.

806
00:33:15.370 --> 00:33:16.790
Uh, Jane, uh, uh, keep Abby company.

807
00:33:16.790 --> 00:33:18.500
‐ You got it.
‐ Dad, should I come, too?

808
00:33:18.500 --> 00:33:20.250
‐ I'll come right back.
‐ Okay.
TED: N‐No, honey.

809
00:33:20.250 --> 00:33:22.330
Just, uh, enjoy yourself.
‐ Great.

810
00:33:22.330 --> 00:33:23.710
CAROLYN:
Now, Harry's tough.

811
00:33:23.710 --> 00:33:24.960
Don't let her throw you.

812
00:33:24.960 --> 00:33:26.800
‐ I'm gonna take the twins
to the kids' club.

813
00:33:26.800 --> 00:33:28.130
Please order me several drinks.

814
00:33:28.130 --> 00:33:29.170
‐ Yeah.

815
00:33:29.170 --> 00:33:30.470
‐ Come on, you guys.

816
00:33:30.470 --> 00:33:32.050
Let's go play.

817
00:33:32.050 --> 00:33:34.180
JANE:
Okay. Well...

818
00:33:34.180 --> 00:33:36.430
looks like it's just us ladies.

819
00:33:36.430 --> 00:33:38.850
Now, I don't know about you,
but I am single

820
00:33:38.850 --> 00:33:41.440
and ready to mingle, so...

821
00:33:42.850 --> 00:33:45.110
CAROLYN:
Harry.

822
00:33:45.110 --> 00:33:47.770
This is‐‐
‐ Ted Caldwell.

823
00:33:47.770 --> 00:33:50.030
‐ Ms. Levin, it is an honor.
‐ [ Harry chuckles ]

824
00:33:50.030 --> 00:33:51.820
‐ I am gonna leave you two
to get acquainted.

825
00:33:51.820 --> 00:33:52.950
‐ Okay. Thank you.

826
00:33:52.950 --> 00:33:54.610
This is my husband Scott.

827
00:33:54.610 --> 00:33:56.660
We met on Bumble. [ chuckles ]
TED: Pleasure.

828
00:33:56.660 --> 00:33:58.290
And, uh, this is my wife Tipper.

829
00:33:58.290 --> 00:34:00.000
My daughter Harper, who writes for the‐‐

830
00:34:00.000 --> 00:34:01.410
‐ Pittsburgh Post‐Gazette.

831
00:34:01.410 --> 00:34:02.790
HARPER: Yes.
‐ Yes, I'm familiar.

832
00:34:02.790 --> 00:34:04.290
‐ You've read her work?

833
00:34:04.290 --> 00:34:06.250
‐ Yes.

834
00:34:08.960 --> 00:34:11.260
♪ lively jazz music ♪

835
00:34:11.260 --> 00:34:13.930
‐ Hey, could I get a vodka neat?

836
00:34:13.930 --> 00:34:15.640
Thanks.

837
00:34:19.010 --> 00:34:20.020
‐ You're new.

838
00:34:21.770 --> 00:34:24.850
‐ Yeah, I'm just visiting.
‐ From where?

839
00:34:24.850 --> 00:34:27.020
‐ I'm really not interested
in meeting anyone tonight, so‐‐

840
00:34:27.020 --> 00:34:28.320
‐ I am.

841
00:34:29.520 --> 00:34:31.360
CAROLYN:
Oh, I'll have to check out Goop.

842
00:34:31.360 --> 00:34:33.360
Was that‐‐ When was that one, again?

843
00:34:33.360 --> 00:34:36.660
‐ [ quiet, indistinct chatter ]

844
00:34:48.420 --> 00:34:50.050
‐ Are you enjoying the party?

845
00:34:50.050 --> 00:34:52.210
‐ Yeah.

846
00:34:52.210 --> 00:34:53.840
SLOANE:
That's great.

847
00:34:53.840 --> 00:34:56.720
If my friend ditched me at a party
where I didn't know anyone,

848
00:34:56.720 --> 00:34:58.510
I probably wouldn't have a good time.

849
00:34:58.510 --> 00:34:59.680
‐ Oh, no, sh‐she didn't ditch me.

850
00:34:59.680 --> 00:35:00.970
No, she's just helping your dad.

851
00:35:00.970 --> 00:35:03.270
‐ Yeah, she's very helpful.

852
00:35:04.770 --> 00:35:07.480
So, how long have you
and Harper been roommates?

853
00:35:07.480 --> 00:35:09.730
‐ I moved in like six months ago.

854
00:35:09.730 --> 00:35:11.320
‐ You moved in to her place?

855
00:35:11.320 --> 00:35:12.440
‐ Mm‐hmm.

856
00:35:12.440 --> 00:35:14.280
‐ Isn't it a one‐bedroom?

857
00:35:14.280 --> 00:35:15.990
‐ Technically, yes.

858
00:35:15.990 --> 00:35:17.450
Yeah, well, it was a one‐bedroom,

859
00:35:17.450 --> 00:35:20.280
and‐and now that we have
converted the pantry

860
00:35:20.280 --> 00:35:22.990
i‐into my bedroom, it's a two‐bedroom.

861
00:35:22.990 --> 00:35:25.210
Um, it's really spacious
in there, and it's‐‐

862
00:35:25.210 --> 00:35:27.080
‐ I don't want to have
this conversation anymore.

863
00:35:27.080 --> 00:35:28.710
‐ No problem.

864
00:35:30.090 --> 00:35:32.130
‐ Being mayor is no small task.

865
00:35:32.130 --> 00:35:35.760
However, it's a task I am not only up for
but eager to take on.

866
00:35:35.760 --> 00:35:37.380
HARRY:
I'm gonna stop you right there.

867
00:35:37.380 --> 00:35:39.300
I have a perfect record.

868
00:35:39.300 --> 00:35:40.720
And do you know why?

869
00:35:40.720 --> 00:35:42.510
Because I do my homework.

870
00:35:42.510 --> 00:35:44.520
Last election, I almost backed Dave Grady.

871
00:35:44.520 --> 00:35:46.770
‐ Dave Grady? Didn't his son‐‐

872
00:35:46.770 --> 00:35:48.650
‐ Get arrested
for exotic animal smuggling?

873
00:35:48.650 --> 00:35:49.770
Yes.

874
00:35:49.770 --> 00:35:54.110
I'm telling you this
because I'm not just looking at you.

875
00:35:54.110 --> 00:35:55.440
This is a family affair.

876
00:35:55.440 --> 00:35:57.530
‐ Well, I can assure you,

877
00:35:57.530 --> 00:36:01.200
this family has nothing to hide.

878
00:36:03.990 --> 00:36:06.370
♪ upbeat jazz music ♪

879
00:36:11.920 --> 00:36:13.590
‐ Hey.
‐ Hey. Hey.

880
00:36:13.590 --> 00:36:15.420
‐ Hi. Can I have a sip of your drink?

881
00:36:15.420 --> 00:36:17.420
‐ Yeah, of course.
‐ Thank you.

882
00:36:18.720 --> 00:36:20.010
Mm.
‐ You okay?

883
00:36:20.010 --> 00:36:21.220
‐ Mm‐hmm.

884
00:36:21.220 --> 00:36:23.220
I just needed a bit of a breather.

885
00:36:23.220 --> 00:36:24.560
Thank you.

886
00:36:24.560 --> 00:36:25.810
KELLY:
Harper?

887
00:36:25.810 --> 00:36:27.100
HARPER: Mm!
‐ [ squealing ]

888
00:36:27.100 --> 00:36:28.560
ASHLEY:
Hi!

889
00:36:28.560 --> 00:36:29.940
‐ [ laughing ] Hi.

890
00:36:29.940 --> 00:36:31.650
You look incredible.

891
00:36:31.650 --> 00:36:33.730
‐ As always.
‐ Oh, my God.

892
00:36:33.730 --> 00:36:35.780
‐ [ exhales sharply ] You, too. God, guys.

893
00:36:35.780 --> 00:36:38.780
Oh, um, this is my roommate Abby.

894
00:36:38.780 --> 00:36:40.740
And this is Kelly and Ashley.

895
00:36:40.740 --> 00:36:42.320
KELLY: Oh, lovely to meet you.
‐ Yes.

896
00:36:42.320 --> 00:36:44.280
Nice to meet you, too.
CONNOR: Hey, you guys.

897
00:36:44.280 --> 00:36:45.870
Wow.

898
00:36:45.870 --> 00:36:48.120
God, sorry, just seeing the three of you
standing next to each other

899
00:36:48.120 --> 00:36:49.660
takes me right back to high school.

900
00:36:49.660 --> 00:36:51.960
Minus the bad cafeteria food.

901
00:36:51.960 --> 00:36:54.630
‐ [ laughing loudly ]

902
00:36:55.800 --> 00:36:57.670
You're so funny.

903
00:36:57.670 --> 00:36:59.510
‐ Uh, Harper, can I talk
to you for a second?

904
00:36:59.510 --> 00:37:01.510
HARPER:
Um, yeah.

905
00:37:01.510 --> 00:37:03.760
I'll just be a sec.

906
00:37:03.760 --> 00:37:06.140
‐ Am I crazy, or did you have
absolutely no idea

907
00:37:06.140 --> 00:37:07.640
I was coming to dinner last night?

908
00:37:07.640 --> 00:37:09.560
‐ It was a surprise.
‐ Yeah.

909
00:37:09.560 --> 00:37:11.190
Yeah, I thought so.

910
00:37:11.190 --> 00:37:13.940
Um, sorry about that.
‐ It's not you.

911
00:37:13.940 --> 00:37:16.320
‐ But, actually,
I'd love to do... that again.

912
00:37:16.320 --> 00:37:19.110
Like, hang out again, if you got time.

913
00:37:19.110 --> 00:37:22.530
‐ That sounds so nice, and, um...

914
00:37:22.530 --> 00:37:26.030
and I just don't know, uh,
'cause it's so busy and‐‐

915
00:37:26.030 --> 00:37:27.080
‐ Yeah. Totally got it.
HARPER: Mm‐hmm.

916
00:37:27.080 --> 00:37:28.120
‐ No pressure.
HARPER: Yeah.

917
00:37:28.120 --> 00:37:30.460
‐ But that being said, if you, you know,

918
00:37:30.460 --> 00:37:32.960
and‐and your roommate want
to get out and hang out,

919
00:37:32.960 --> 00:37:34.380
that'd be great.
‐ Abby. Yeah.

920
00:37:34.380 --> 00:37:36.040
CONNOR:
Abby. Yeah. Absolutely.

921
00:37:36.040 --> 00:37:38.800
‐ Hey, if she doesn't
sleep with him, then I will.

922
00:37:38.800 --> 00:37:41.840
[ giggling ]

923
00:37:41.840 --> 00:37:44.260
I'm just kidding. I would never.

924
00:37:44.260 --> 00:37:46.640
‐ He's definitely still into her.

925
00:37:46.640 --> 00:37:48.260
‐ I know.

926
00:37:48.260 --> 00:37:50.270
[ cell phone vibrating ]

927
00:37:51.390 --> 00:37:53.520
‐ [ sighs ] I should...

928
00:37:53.520 --> 00:37:55.480
take this.

929
00:37:55.480 --> 00:37:56.650
Hello?

930
00:37:56.650 --> 00:37:58.070
JOHN:
Did you know that you're standing

931
00:37:58.070 --> 00:37:59.900
in a country club
that didn't let women have

932
00:37:59.900 --> 00:38:02.240
their own memberships
until the early 2000s?

933
00:38:02.240 --> 00:38:03.910
‐ How do you know that?

934
00:38:03.910 --> 00:38:05.870
‐ Um, I might be tracking you,

935
00:38:05.870 --> 00:38:07.870
but it's for your own safety, clearly.

936
00:38:07.870 --> 00:38:08.870
‐ What‐what do you want?

937
00:38:08.870 --> 00:38:11.620
‐ I want you to break out of that closet.
[ camera clicks ]

938
00:38:11.620 --> 00:38:13.080
‐ I am not in the closet.

939
00:38:13.080 --> 00:38:14.670
I told you, Harper's gonna
tell her parents everything

940
00:38:14.670 --> 00:38:15.670
right after the holidays.

941
00:38:15.670 --> 00:38:17.590
‐ You deserve to be with someone

942
00:38:17.590 --> 00:38:21.090
who shouts their love for you
from the rooftops.

943
00:38:21.090 --> 00:38:22.510
‐ That's very sweet.
[ toilet flushes over phone ]

944
00:38:22.510 --> 00:38:24.220
‐ So stop being a doormat, you fool.

945
00:38:24.220 --> 00:38:26.470
‐ Did you need something,
or did you just call to shame me?

946
00:38:26.470 --> 00:38:27.760
‐ I'm not shaming you.

947
00:38:27.760 --> 00:38:29.060
I just think the choice
you're making is dumb

948
00:38:29.060 --> 00:38:30.640
and you should feel bad
about it and yourself.

949
00:38:30.640 --> 00:38:33.640
Also, I am loving these fish.

950
00:38:34.690 --> 00:38:38.020
If I wanted to buy
the exact same one for myself,

951
00:38:38.020 --> 00:38:40.780
where‐where do you think I would do that?

952
00:38:40.780 --> 00:38:41.990
‐ What?

953
00:38:41.990 --> 00:38:43.820
JOHN:
You know what, I think I should google it.

954
00:38:43.820 --> 00:38:45.110
I'm gonna google it. Thanks.

955
00:38:51.950 --> 00:38:53.620
‐ Hey.

956
00:38:53.620 --> 00:38:55.750
‐ Oh, hey. Hey.

957
00:39:00.460 --> 00:39:02.510
‐ How's it going?
‐ Great.

958
00:39:02.510 --> 00:39:08.010
‐ I was just taking a break from
diagnosing everyone's mystery illnesses.

959
00:39:08.010 --> 00:39:09.760
‐ [ Abby chuckles ]

960
00:39:09.760 --> 00:39:12.310
‐ Hey, I wasn't trying
to eavesdrop or anything.

961
00:39:12.310 --> 00:39:14.430
I was out there before you came out.

962
00:39:14.430 --> 00:39:17.100
You didn't see me, but, um...

963
00:39:18.560 --> 00:39:20.860
I can relate.

964
00:39:20.860 --> 00:39:22.860
‐ Like, to what?

965
00:39:27.030 --> 00:39:28.280
‐ Nothing.

966
00:39:28.280 --> 00:39:29.370
[ clears throat ]

967
00:39:29.370 --> 00:39:31.080
Nothing. [ inhales deeply ]

968
00:39:31.080 --> 00:39:33.200
[ sighs ] Okay. I'm gonna go back inside.

969
00:39:34.580 --> 00:39:39.000
I'm sure my mother's hairdresser
wants to show me her weird finger again.

970
00:39:39.000 --> 00:39:41.000
‐ [ chuckles ]
‐ So...

971
00:39:42.130 --> 00:39:43.880
I like your jacket. [ sighs ]

972
00:39:44.880 --> 00:39:47.180
Okay. [ shivers ]

973
00:39:49.300 --> 00:39:52.560
[ applause, cheering ]
‐ Thank you. Thank you so much.

974
00:39:52.560 --> 00:39:55.890
Will you all please join me in welcoming

975
00:39:55.890 --> 00:40:00.520
my dear, dear friend,
Councilman Ted Caldwell.

976
00:40:00.520 --> 00:40:02.320
‐ [ cheering ]

977
00:40:04.070 --> 00:40:06.110
TED:
Thank you so much. Thank you.

978
00:40:06.110 --> 00:40:08.030
Isn't this the best time of year?

979
00:40:08.030 --> 00:40:09.490
I mean, really.

980
00:40:09.490 --> 00:40:11.450
I know we're all having
a great time tonight,

981
00:40:11.450 --> 00:40:13.280
so I will be brief.

982
00:40:13.280 --> 00:40:15.660
I've accomplished a lot in my life,

983
00:40:15.660 --> 00:40:18.080
and serving you on the city council

984
00:40:18.080 --> 00:40:22.840
is right up there
with my most rewarding life experiences.

985
00:40:22.840 --> 00:40:25.130
But I'm ready for more.

986
00:40:25.130 --> 00:40:26.340
‐ [ cheering ]

987
00:40:26.340 --> 00:40:29.300
TED:
These are turbulent times,

988
00:40:29.300 --> 00:40:33.350
and the way I can ensure
depravity doesn't seep in

989
00:40:33.350 --> 00:40:35.930
through the cracks of our community

990
00:40:35.930 --> 00:40:40.020
is by making sure there are no cracks.

991
00:40:40.020 --> 00:40:42.020
‐ [ cheering ]
‐ No cracks!

992
00:40:44.270 --> 00:40:48.740
TED: Look, our foundation is built
on family, tradition and faith,

993
00:40:48.740 --> 00:40:54.200
and that is the only way
we will keep safe and strong.

994
00:40:54.200 --> 00:40:56.290
I have loved being your city councilman,

995
00:40:56.290 --> 00:40:58.450
and I can't wait to be your mayor.

996
00:40:58.450 --> 00:40:59.750
Merry Christmas.

997
00:40:59.750 --> 00:41:01.540
‐ [ cheering ]

998
00:41:01.540 --> 00:41:03.540
[ camera clicking rapidly ]

999
00:41:05.710 --> 00:41:07.710
♪ holiday music ♪

1000
00:41:14.140 --> 00:41:15.390
[ cell phone chimes ]

1001
00:41:25.060 --> 00:41:27.280
[ camera clicks ]

1002
00:41:27.280 --> 00:41:28.940
[ phone chimes ]

1003
00:41:32.820 --> 00:41:34.450
[ phone chimes ]

1004
00:41:40.910 --> 00:41:43.000
‐ [ chuckles softly ]

1005
00:41:44.040 --> 00:41:47.050
TED: [ on video ]
...the way I can ensure depravity

1006
00:41:47.050 --> 00:41:50.300
doesn't seep in through
the cracks of our community

1007
00:41:50.300 --> 00:41:53.470
is by making sure there are no cracks.

1008
00:41:53.470 --> 00:41:56.390
‐ [ cheering on video ]

1009
00:41:56.390 --> 00:41:57.970
[ distant door closes ]

1010
00:41:57.970 --> 00:41:59.770
TED: [on video]
Look, our foundation is built

1011
00:41:59.770 --> 00:42:03.190
on family, tradition and faith,

1012
00:42:03.190 --> 00:42:08.270
and that is the only way
we will keep safe and strong.

1013
00:42:11.780 --> 00:42:13.780
[ TV playing indistinctly ]

1014
00:42:15.950 --> 00:42:17.740
MAN: [ on TV ]
Um, for the chicken breast,

1015
00:42:17.740 --> 00:42:22.000
we were looking at a quarter cup of honey,
and remember to use local honey...

1016
00:42:22.000 --> 00:42:24.370
[ footsteps ]
[ TV continues indistinctly ]

1017
00:42:33.840 --> 00:42:35.130
‐ [ sighs ]

1018
00:42:35.130 --> 00:42:36.680
[ footsteps passing ]

1019
00:42:39.260 --> 00:42:40.810
[ phone chimes ]

1020
00:42:44.060 --> 00:42:45.270
‐ [ gasps ]

1021
00:42:47.150 --> 00:42:49.110
‐ Whoa.
[ whirring ]

1022
00:42:49.110 --> 00:42:50.230
Shit. Shit!

1023
00:42:51.070 --> 00:42:52.570
Come on. Come on.

1024
00:42:52.570 --> 00:42:54.650
Nope. Shut up, shut up. Oh, no.

1025
00:42:56.780 --> 00:42:59.030
[ clattering ]

1026
00:42:59.030 --> 00:43:00.540
Oh!
‐ [ screams ]

1027
00:43:00.540 --> 00:43:04.210
Abby, what are you doing in the closet?

1028
00:43:04.210 --> 00:43:07.500
‐ I‐‐ Well, I guess
I must have been sleepwalking.

1029
00:43:07.500 --> 00:43:09.500
‐ Oh, that is very dangerous.

1030
00:43:09.500 --> 00:43:11.500
I once took too many Ambien,

1031
00:43:11.500 --> 00:43:13.630
and I bought a racehorse online.

1032
00:43:13.630 --> 00:43:15.010
ABBY: Oh.
TIPPER: Okay.

1033
00:43:15.010 --> 00:43:16.590
You need to go back downstairs, Abby.

1034
00:43:16.590 --> 00:43:18.090
‐ Okay.
‐ Carefully.

1035
00:43:18.090 --> 00:43:19.550
ABBY: Yeah, uh‐‐
‐ Are you all right to do that?

1036
00:43:19.550 --> 00:43:21.260
ABBY:
Yeah. Oh, gosh, my phone, too.

1037
00:43:21.260 --> 00:43:23.810
God, I‐I was in such a daze.
TIPPER: I'll get all this.

1038
00:43:23.810 --> 00:43:24.850
ABBY: Okay.
‐ Go on.

1039
00:43:24.850 --> 00:43:25.850
ABBY:
Um, I‐I was‐‐

1040
00:43:25.850 --> 00:43:27.400
‐ Do you want me to come with you?

1041
00:43:27.400 --> 00:43:28.480
ABBY:
No, thank you.

1042
00:43:28.480 --> 00:43:29.610
I'm sorry about this.

1043
00:43:31.230 --> 00:43:32.610
[ gasps ]
‐ [ Harper growls playfully ]

1044
00:43:32.610 --> 00:43:35.110
‐ Oh, my God. [ laughs ]

1045
00:43:35.110 --> 00:43:37.410
How did you get down here?

1046
00:43:37.410 --> 00:43:39.370
‐ When I saw that mess upstairs,

1047
00:43:39.370 --> 00:43:41.870
I knew my mom would be busy
for the next two hours.

1048
00:43:41.870 --> 00:43:43.540
‐ What do you want to do for two hours?

1049
00:43:43.540 --> 00:43:45.500
‐ I don't know.
‐ Hmm.

1050
00:43:53.550 --> 00:43:55.550
[ birds chirping ]

1051
00:44:05.480 --> 00:44:07.100
HARPER:
Mm.

1052
00:44:08.600 --> 00:44:10.310
[ footsteps in hall ]

1053
00:44:10.310 --> 00:44:12.320
[ knocking ]
‐ [ both gasp ]

1054
00:44:12.320 --> 00:44:14.280
TIPPER: Abby?
‐ Shit.

1055
00:44:14.280 --> 00:44:15.690
Fuck.

1056
00:44:15.690 --> 00:44:17.150
TIPPER:
Abby, honey, are you okay?

1057
00:44:17.150 --> 00:44:19.110
‐ Uh‐huh. I'm‐I'm‐I'm okay.

1058
00:44:19.110 --> 00:44:21.030
‐ [ whispers ]
I can't believe I fell asleep.

1059
00:44:21.030 --> 00:44:23.790
TIPPER: Um, I think there's
something against the door.

1060
00:44:23.790 --> 00:44:25.790
ABBY:
Um, I'm just moving it right now.

1061
00:44:25.790 --> 00:44:27.000
Sorry. It's heavy.

1062
00:44:28.080 --> 00:44:29.120
Morning.

1063
00:44:29.120 --> 00:44:31.080
‐ Why did you block the door?

1064
00:44:31.080 --> 00:44:33.590
‐ I‐I didn't want to sleepwalk again.

1065
00:44:35.090 --> 00:44:37.260
‐ Well, sorry to barge in.

1066
00:44:37.260 --> 00:44:39.380
The twins usually stay down here.

1067
00:44:39.380 --> 00:44:41.300
I'm just getting them Jane's old Game Boy.

1068
00:44:41.300 --> 00:44:42.430
‐ Morning, kids.

1069
00:44:42.430 --> 00:44:44.600
‐ Morning.
TED: Abby.

1070
00:44:44.600 --> 00:44:46.890
Uh, honey, I'm headed to the office,
but I wanted to let you know

1071
00:44:46.890 --> 00:44:50.520
I have invited Harry Levin and her husband
to our Christmas Eve party.

1072
00:44:51.560 --> 00:44:52.610
‐ What?

1073
00:44:52.610 --> 00:44:53.690
TED:
Well, you heard what she said.

1074
00:44:53.690 --> 00:44:56.610
‐ [ Tipper sighs ]
TED: It's not just about me.

1075
00:44:56.610 --> 00:44:58.440
It's about our whole family.

1076
00:44:58.440 --> 00:45:01.030
And what is a better
representation of our family

1077
00:45:01.030 --> 00:45:04.330
than your Christmas Eve party?

1078
00:45:05.370 --> 00:45:07.200
‐ It is legendary.

1079
00:45:08.700 --> 00:45:09.960
TED: Mwah!
‐ [ Tipper sighs ]

1080
00:45:09.960 --> 00:45:11.870
TED: Have a good day.
‐ You know I will.

1081
00:45:11.870 --> 00:45:13.130
TIPPER:
Can't even believe that.

1082
00:45:13.130 --> 00:45:15.290
That is two more people on the guest list.

1083
00:45:15.290 --> 00:45:18.050
I basically have to reimagine
the entire party.

1084
00:45:18.050 --> 00:45:19.720
‐ [ sighs ] Man.

1085
00:45:19.720 --> 00:45:21.340
‐ Found it.

1086
00:45:21.340 --> 00:45:23.930
Okay, come on, you two.

1087
00:45:23.930 --> 00:45:25.850
Let's look at it.

1088
00:45:28.180 --> 00:45:29.930
‐ [ whispers ] That was very, very close.

1089
00:45:29.930 --> 00:45:31.440
‐ We shouldn't have done that.

1090
00:45:31.440 --> 00:45:34.560
‐ Harper, we've been up since 5:45 a.m....
‐ This is the last batch.

1091
00:45:34.560 --> 00:45:36.900
‐ ...and the twins already made
their own batch of cookies

1092
00:45:36.900 --> 00:45:38.070
and decorated them.
‐ No.

1093
00:45:38.070 --> 00:45:40.900
SLOANE:
We're making these for the party.

1094
00:45:40.900 --> 00:45:42.160
‐ Okay, I'm off.

1095
00:45:42.160 --> 00:45:43.570
‐ What? Where are you going?

1096
00:45:43.570 --> 00:45:45.490
‐ Uh, Levi has a connection
with a local potpourri vendor.

1097
00:45:45.490 --> 00:45:46.700
He's gonna introduce us.

1098
00:45:46.700 --> 00:45:48.370
‐ Great. Right.
ERIC: Yeah.

1099
00:45:48.370 --> 00:45:49.370
Bye, babe.

1100
00:45:49.370 --> 00:45:50.540
TIPPER:
It just runs everywhere.

1101
00:45:50.540 --> 00:45:51.620
‐ Bye, kids.
‐ That's right. That's right.

1102
00:45:51.620 --> 00:45:52.790
KIDS:
Bye, Daddy.

1103
00:45:52.790 --> 00:45:54.000
‐ Jane. Oh, my God.

1104
00:45:54.000 --> 00:45:55.500
‐ I'm just gonna do a button. Can I‐‐
‐ No, no.

1105
00:45:55.500 --> 00:45:57.000
‐ You can't decorate these.
‐ But they have buttons.

1106
00:45:57.000 --> 00:45:58.710
‐ And can you not?
I'm trying to have an even number.

1107
00:45:58.710 --> 00:46:00.340
‐ Mommy, when are we gonna see Santa?

1108
00:46:00.340 --> 00:46:01.800
‐ Honey, I don't know
if we're gonna have time

1109
00:46:01.800 --> 00:46:03.680
to see him this year.
Jane, can you not? I just‐‐

1110
00:46:03.680 --> 00:46:05.510
‐ Oh, take them to see Santa Claus.

1111
00:46:05.510 --> 00:46:07.810
This could be the last year
that they see him.

1112
00:46:07.810 --> 00:46:09.100
‐ Why? Is Santa dying?

1113
00:46:09.100 --> 00:46:10.810
‐ No.
‐ Are we dying?

1114
00:46:10.810 --> 00:46:13.100
‐ No. Fine, I will take you.

1115
00:46:13.100 --> 00:46:15.270
I still need to get
a white elephant gift anyway.

1116
00:46:15.270 --> 00:46:17.610
Did you guys get yours?
‐ Yes.

1117
00:46:17.610 --> 00:46:20.230
‐ [ chuckles ] Yeah, I'm making
something very special.

1118
00:46:20.230 --> 00:46:21.610
‐ Uh, what is white elephant?

1119
00:46:21.610 --> 00:46:23.530
TIPPER:
Oh, it's a gift exchange game we do

1120
00:46:23.530 --> 00:46:25.950
every year at our Christmas Eve party.
‐ Oh.

1121
00:46:25.950 --> 00:46:27.910
‐ And I guess you don't know what it is

1122
00:46:27.910 --> 00:46:30.450
because Harper forgot
to tell you about it.

1123
00:46:30.450 --> 00:46:32.370
‐ I'm sorry.
‐ That's okay.

1124
00:46:32.370 --> 00:46:33.790
I‐I can run out and grab one today.

1125
00:46:33.790 --> 00:46:37.630
‐ Great. So, you girls can tag along
with Sloane to the mall.

1126
00:46:37.630 --> 00:46:40.170
‐ Oh. Actually, I told Dad
that I'd go to his office

1127
00:46:40.170 --> 00:46:42.420
and help him write his speech
for Carolyn's dinner tonight.

1128
00:46:42.420 --> 00:46:44.340
‐ Yeah, I wish I could go,

1129
00:46:44.340 --> 00:46:46.140
but, um, I have to put
the finishing touches

1130
00:46:46.140 --> 00:46:48.350
on my Christmas gifts.

1131
00:46:48.350 --> 00:46:50.220
‐ Guess it's just gonna be
you and me. Fun.

1132
00:46:50.220 --> 00:46:52.180
TIPPER: Well, just make sure
you're all back here by 4:00.

1133
00:46:52.180 --> 00:46:53.560
‐ That's okay?

1134
00:46:53.560 --> 00:46:56.560
‐ We are going to get
that Christmas photo tonight

1135
00:46:56.560 --> 00:46:57.860
before we leave for dinner.

1136
00:46:57.860 --> 00:46:59.020
‐ Yes.
‐ Yes.

1137
00:46:59.020 --> 00:47:01.030
♪ holiday music playing over speakers ♪

1138
00:47:09.620 --> 00:47:11.290
‐ Oh. Hey.

1139
00:47:11.290 --> 00:47:14.000
Hey. Can you watch them for a bit?

1140
00:47:14.000 --> 00:47:16.120
I have to run an errand.
Um, Santa promised them

1141
00:47:16.120 --> 00:47:19.340
[ hushed ]
the complete works of Sylvia Plath, so...

1142
00:47:19.340 --> 00:47:20.630
Is that all right?

1143
00:47:20.630 --> 00:47:21.750
‐ Yeah.

1144
00:47:21.750 --> 00:47:23.260
Yeah, yeah, yeah.

1145
00:47:23.260 --> 00:47:25.010
‐ Okay. Thank you.

1146
00:47:25.010 --> 00:47:27.090
Be good, you two.

1147
00:47:27.090 --> 00:47:30.050
♪ playful holiday music ♪

1148
00:47:30.050 --> 00:47:34.140
‐ Hi, guys.
Do you, um, want to come over‐‐

1149
00:47:34.140 --> 00:47:35.560
Want to‐‐ Come on.

1150
00:47:35.560 --> 00:47:37.940
♪ ♪

1151
00:47:37.940 --> 00:47:39.480
[ chuckles nervously ]

1152
00:47:41.860 --> 00:47:44.690
‐ Why was Aunt Harper hiding
in your room this morning?

1153
00:47:45.740 --> 00:47:48.280
‐ Uh, we were playing a game.

1154
00:47:48.280 --> 00:47:49.950
‐ Like hide‐and‐seek?

1155
00:47:49.950 --> 00:47:51.580
‐ Yeah, like hide‐and‐seek.

1156
00:47:51.580 --> 00:47:53.160
MAGNUS:
We love that game.

1157
00:47:53.160 --> 00:47:55.160
‐ What do you guys think about
this white elephant game?

1158
00:47:55.160 --> 00:47:57.000
What gift should I get? Can you help me?

1159
00:47:57.000 --> 00:47:58.750
‐ How about this?

1160
00:47:58.750 --> 00:48:00.380
‐ That is nice.

1161
00:48:00.380 --> 00:48:03.710
I was thinking maybe
something everyone might like.

1162
00:48:03.710 --> 00:48:05.590
Like, um...

1163
00:48:05.590 --> 00:48:08.260
I don't know, a scarf
might be good, actually.

1164
00:48:08.260 --> 00:48:10.680
Someone might want to have that.

1165
00:48:10.680 --> 00:48:13.100
Seems Christmassy.

1166
00:48:14.720 --> 00:48:16.560
Oh.

1167
00:48:16.560 --> 00:48:18.390
Hey, come on. Um...

1168
00:48:18.390 --> 00:48:20.350
Hey, Carolyn.

1169
00:48:20.350 --> 00:48:21.860
Hey, it's good to see you.

1170
00:48:23.190 --> 00:48:25.190
I'm Abby. We met last night.

1171
00:48:25.190 --> 00:48:27.190
I'm Harper Caldwell's friend.

1172
00:48:27.190 --> 00:48:29.700
‐ [ gasps ] Oh! Oh, yes.

1173
00:48:29.700 --> 00:48:31.950
[ chuckling ] Yes, of course.

1174
00:48:31.950 --> 00:48:33.240
Mm.

1175
00:48:34.740 --> 00:48:37.290
It's lovely seeing you.

1176
00:48:38.330 --> 00:48:40.330
‐ Hey, I'm‐I'm really looking forward
to dinner tonight.

1177
00:48:41.380 --> 00:48:43.420
‐ Okay.
‐ Okay.

1178
00:48:46.420 --> 00:48:48.300
Have‐have a nice day. I'll see you later.

1179
00:48:48.300 --> 00:48:50.340
[ alarm blaring ]
CRYSTAL: Hey! Ma'am!

1180
00:48:50.340 --> 00:48:51.760
ED: Oh, ma'am!
CRYSTAL: Ma'am, we're gonna
stop you right there.

1181
00:48:51.760 --> 00:48:53.800
ED: Ma'am, put the bag on the floor.
‐ Okay.

1182
00:48:53.800 --> 00:48:54.970
CRYSTAL: Miss, put it down.
ED: Ma'am!

1183
00:48:54.970 --> 00:48:57.560
Put the bag on the floor
and slide it to me.

1184
00:48:57.560 --> 00:48:58.890
You want to explain that?
ABBY: A‐As I've said,

1185
00:48:58.890 --> 00:49:01.350
I did not put that in my bag.
There might‐‐

1186
00:49:01.350 --> 00:49:03.360
‐ Oh, you didn't put it in your bag...
‐ Oh.

1187
00:49:03.360 --> 00:49:06.480
‐ ...but it ended up in your bag, so this
is probably just a big misunderstanding.

1188
00:49:06.480 --> 00:49:08.990
‐ Maybe it grew legs
and then it walked into her bag.

1189
00:49:08.990 --> 00:49:10.530
‐ CRYSTAL: [ stammers ]
Did you check it for legs, or‐‐

1190
00:49:10.530 --> 00:49:11.860
‐ I haven't checked it for legs.
‐ You haven't done that.

1191
00:49:11.860 --> 00:49:13.780
‐ I'm not suggesting that it grew legs.

1192
00:49:13.780 --> 00:49:15.740
‐ It's not looking good, sweetie.

1193
00:49:15.740 --> 00:49:16.950
‐ Pittsburgh, huh?

1194
00:49:16.950 --> 00:49:18.250
‐ Yeah.

1195
00:49:18.250 --> 00:49:19.960
‐ What are you doing down this way?

1196
00:49:19.960 --> 00:49:21.330
‐ You pulling a job?

1197
00:49:21.330 --> 00:49:22.670
Jacking a roost?

1198
00:49:22.670 --> 00:49:24.290
‐ What was that?
CRYSTAL: Yeah, hocking crank

1199
00:49:24.290 --> 00:49:25.630
and breaking bad?

1200
00:49:25.630 --> 00:49:27.670
‐ I'm not doing any of those things.
ED: Smash and grab?

1201
00:49:27.670 --> 00:49:29.720
‐ I‐I didn't take this necklace.
CRYSTAL: Wow.

1202
00:49:29.720 --> 00:49:31.680
ABBY: I'm sure that you could
review some footage.

1203
00:49:31.680 --> 00:49:32.680
Aren't there cameras in malls?

1204
00:49:32.680 --> 00:49:34.680
‐ Are you telling me how to do my job?
ABBY: There are cameras everywhere.

1205
00:49:34.680 --> 00:49:35.890
CRYSTAL: You're gonna regret it.
‐ No.

1206
00:49:35.890 --> 00:49:37.010
ED: You know what? Fine.
‐ No, I'm not doing any‐‐

1207
00:49:37.010 --> 00:49:38.970
‐ Why don't you go ahead
and do my job, hotshot?
‐ Good freaking luck.

1208
00:49:38.970 --> 00:49:40.390
ED: You're in charge now.
CRYSTAL: Yeah.

1209
00:49:40.390 --> 00:49:41.890
‐ Can you believe‐‐
‐ No, I'm gonna get her to sing, okay?

1210
00:49:41.890 --> 00:49:43.650
ED: Go ahead.
CRYSTAL: I'm gonna make this little birdie

1211
00:49:43.650 --> 00:49:45.900
go tweet, tweet, tweet, becau‐‐
‐ Go ahead.

1212
00:49:47.400 --> 00:49:49.030
‐ Eugene.
‐ [ Eugene stammers ]

1213
00:49:49.030 --> 00:49:50.440
‐ Goddamn it. We're‐‐
‐ What are you‐‐

1214
00:49:50.440 --> 00:49:51.860
‐ I heard there were Cruffins in here.

1215
00:49:51.860 --> 00:49:52.950
‐ No.

1216
00:49:52.950 --> 00:49:54.410
‐ There aren't any Cruffins.

1217
00:49:54.410 --> 00:49:56.410
EUGENE:
There's not, or there were? Were there?

1218
00:49:56.410 --> 00:49:58.410
CRYSTAL: No, we stopped
keeping food in here.
ED: No.

1219
00:49:58.410 --> 00:49:59.750
HARPER:
Dad, Abby would never do this.

1220
00:49:59.750 --> 00:50:00.960
SLOANE:
Go get ready quick, quick, quick,

1221
00:50:00.960 --> 00:50:02.120
because we're late now.

1222
00:50:02.120 --> 00:50:03.290
TED:
This isn't a conversation, Harper.

1223
00:50:03.290 --> 00:50:04.290
HARPER:
Please, Dad, just be‐‐

1224
00:50:04.290 --> 00:50:05.790
TIPPER: [ hushed ]
Shh! Quiet.

1225
00:50:05.790 --> 00:50:07.420
HARPER: Okay. I'm sorry.
TIPPER: Oh, I know. I know.

1226
00:50:07.420 --> 00:50:09.170
HARPER:
I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

1227
00:50:14.510 --> 00:50:16.550
‐ I didn't do it.

1228
00:50:16.550 --> 00:50:17.890
‐ Baby, I know.

1229
00:50:17.890 --> 00:50:21.680
But Carolyn thinks it would just be better
if you weren't at the dinner.

1230
00:50:21.680 --> 00:50:23.770
Look, it's gonna be so boring anyways.

1231
00:50:23.770 --> 00:50:25.400
You're lucky you don't have to go.

1232
00:50:25.400 --> 00:50:27.400
Come here.

1233
00:50:29.190 --> 00:50:31.440
[ sighs ]

1234
00:50:31.440 --> 00:50:35.110
Can we hang out tonight after the dinner?

1235
00:50:35.110 --> 00:50:37.580
My friends want to go out,
and‐and we can go with them

1236
00:50:37.580 --> 00:50:39.990
or we can not go with them, but...

1237
00:50:39.990 --> 00:50:42.620
I just think we‐we need a break

1238
00:50:42.620 --> 00:50:44.710
from the family.

1239
00:50:44.710 --> 00:50:46.130
‐ Yeah, s‐‐
[ knocking ]

1240
00:50:47.710 --> 00:50:49.840
‐ Harper, we have got to go.

1241
00:50:49.840 --> 00:50:51.340
Come on, we're gonna be late.

1242
00:50:51.340 --> 00:50:53.050
‐ Okay. [ sighs ]

1243
00:50:53.050 --> 00:50:54.470
I'll see you later?
ABBY: Mm‐hmm.

1244
00:50:54.470 --> 00:50:55.590
‐ Okay.

1245
00:50:55.590 --> 00:50:56.930
I'm sorry.

1246
00:50:56.930 --> 00:50:59.350
TIPPER:
We weren't able to get the photo again.

1247
00:50:59.350 --> 00:51:00.600
[ door closes ]

1248
00:51:00.600 --> 00:51:02.600
[ "Blame It on Christmas"
by Shea Diamond playing ]

1249
00:51:02.600 --> 00:51:04.600
♪ Blame it on Christmas ♪

1250
00:51:06.020 --> 00:51:09.190
♪ Why I'm out of control ♪

1251
00:51:10.440 --> 00:51:14.360
♪ Oh, give me forgiveness ♪

1252
00:51:14.360 --> 00:51:17.870
♪ For what's about to unfold ♪

1253
00:51:19.660 --> 00:51:24.160
♪ 'Cause I just can't keep my cool ♪

1254
00:51:24.160 --> 00:51:28.500
♪ While I'm tiding all of this yule ♪

1255
00:51:28.500 --> 00:51:32.250
♪ Blame it on, blame it on Christmas ♪

1256
00:51:32.250 --> 00:51:34.840
♪ Ooh, why I'm acting a fool. ♪

1257
00:51:36.630 --> 00:51:37.800
‐ Hey.

1258
00:51:37.800 --> 00:51:39.850
‐ We meet again.

1259
00:51:39.850 --> 00:51:41.430
ABBY: [ chuckles ]
Yeah.

1260
00:51:41.430 --> 00:51:43.060
‐ No Harper?

1261
00:51:43.060 --> 00:51:45.890
‐ No, she's, um, with her family.

1262
00:51:45.890 --> 00:51:47.850
I‐I'm gonna meet up with her in a bit.

1263
00:51:47.850 --> 00:51:49.310
What'd you get?

1264
00:51:49.310 --> 00:51:51.980
‐ Um...

1265
00:51:51.980 --> 00:51:56.030
Oh, I can't tell you, because it's for
the white elephant party.

1266
00:51:56.030 --> 00:51:57.990
‐ Ah, you're going to that, too?

1267
00:51:57.990 --> 00:51:59.370
‐ Oh, yeah.

1268
00:51:59.370 --> 00:52:01.200
Yeah, my family goes every year.

1269
00:52:01.200 --> 00:52:03.120
It's, um...

1270
00:52:03.120 --> 00:52:05.200
God, it's the best party of the year.

1271
00:52:05.200 --> 00:52:07.460
‐ [ laughs ]

1272
00:52:07.460 --> 00:52:10.040
You know, I'm‐I'm glad I ran into you,

1273
00:52:10.040 --> 00:52:13.210
'cause I'm having this thing where
if I stick my finger in my eye,

1274
00:52:13.210 --> 00:52:14.960
it, like, really hurts.

1275
00:52:14.960 --> 00:52:18.590
‐ Yeah, I mean, that's
a classic case of, um,

1276
00:52:18.590 --> 00:52:20.850
contact stupiditis.

1277
00:52:20.850 --> 00:52:23.100
Um, because it's a stupid thing to do.

1278
00:52:23.100 --> 00:52:24.890
‐ [ laughs ] Yep.
‐ Once you get to

1279
00:52:24.890 --> 00:52:26.770
the finger‐poking stage,
you're‐you're pretty much dead.

1280
00:52:26.770 --> 00:52:28.190
‐ [ sighs ]

1281
00:52:28.190 --> 00:52:31.520
I'd really like to drink some alcohol.

1282
00:52:31.520 --> 00:52:33.230
Do you know where I could do that?

1283
00:52:34.900 --> 00:52:36.570
‐ Yes.

1284
00:52:38.240 --> 00:52:40.490
‐ ♪ What is Christmas? ♪

1285
00:52:40.490 --> 00:52:43.120
‐ ♪ Christmas is for caring ♪
‐ [ scattered laughter ]

1286
00:52:43.120 --> 00:52:45.040
‐ ♪ What is Christmas? ♪

1287
00:52:45.040 --> 00:52:47.790
‐ ♪ Christmas is for sharing ♪

1288
00:52:47.790 --> 00:52:49.420
‐ ♪ What is Christmas? ♪

1289
00:52:49.420 --> 00:52:52.250
♪ Can't you guess? ♪

1290
00:52:52.250 --> 00:52:55.380
‐ ♪ Christmas is for ha... ♪

1291
00:52:55.380 --> 00:52:56.840
♪ Penis ♪

1292
00:52:56.840 --> 00:52:58.590
RILEY: Yes, you are.
‐ I wish.

1293
00:52:58.590 --> 00:53:00.430
‐ Just tell me.
‐ I wish I had a story, like‐‐

1294
00:53:00.430 --> 00:53:02.050
‐ Did you steal it?
‐ No.

1295
00:53:02.050 --> 00:53:05.720
And I still don't have
a white elephant gift, on top of it all.

1296
00:53:05.720 --> 00:53:07.810
‐ You've got to get one.
‐ I'm trying.

1297
00:53:07.810 --> 00:53:09.390
‐ I will help you with this.

1298
00:53:09.390 --> 00:53:11.770
I know a lot of places that aren't malls.

1299
00:53:11.770 --> 00:53:13.060
‐ That would be great.

1300
00:53:13.060 --> 00:53:15.440
SINGERS:
♪ And when does Christmas come? ♪

1301
00:53:15.440 --> 00:53:19.110
♪ And when does Christmas leave? ♪

1302
00:53:19.110 --> 00:53:23.700
‐ [ laughter ]
SINGERS: ♪ It comes but never goes... ♪

1303
00:53:23.700 --> 00:53:26.910
‐ What did you mean last night
when you said you could relate?

1304
00:53:26.910 --> 00:53:30.120
‐ That was just a comment
based on an assumption

1305
00:53:30.120 --> 00:53:33.040
that I was making about you and Harper.

1306
00:53:35.960 --> 00:53:38.710
‐ I think it's probably
an accurate assumption.

1307
00:53:40.970 --> 00:53:43.140
You don't have to talk to me
about this stuff.

1308
00:53:43.140 --> 00:53:44.510
I know it's weird, like‐‐

1309
00:53:44.510 --> 00:53:46.390
‐ So, what has she told you?

1310
00:53:46.390 --> 00:53:48.600
‐ That you dated in high school.

1311
00:53:48.600 --> 00:53:50.850
That you were her first girlfriend.

1312
00:53:50.850 --> 00:53:52.770
That's about it.

1313
00:53:54.150 --> 00:53:55.900
Is there more?
RILEY: Mm‐hmm.

1314
00:53:56.940 --> 00:53:57.940
Yeah, a little.

1315
00:54:00.900 --> 00:54:02.910
I mean...

1316
00:54:05.620 --> 00:54:07.620
Yeah.

1317
00:54:07.620 --> 00:54:10.120
Yeah, growing up,
we were totally inseparable.

1318
00:54:10.120 --> 00:54:11.830
We were best friends.

1319
00:54:11.830 --> 00:54:15.000
And then, freshman year,
we became more than friends.

1320
00:54:16.250 --> 00:54:18.250
We started dating.

1321
00:54:20.010 --> 00:54:23.430
But nobody knew that, obviously.

1322
00:54:23.430 --> 00:54:26.470
And we would, like,
leave these little love letters

1323
00:54:26.470 --> 00:54:28.260
in‐in each other's lockers.

1324
00:54:28.260 --> 00:54:31.390
And one day, one of Harper's friends
found one of the letters,

1325
00:54:31.390 --> 00:54:34.690
and she asked Harper wh‐what it was about,

1326
00:54:34.690 --> 00:54:39.480
and Harper basically just said
that I am gay

1327
00:54:39.480 --> 00:54:41.320
and that I wouldn't leave her alone.

1328
00:54:41.320 --> 00:54:44.280
And then within a couple days,
like, everybody in school found out,

1329
00:54:44.280 --> 00:54:47.320
and everybody was so awful to me.

1330
00:54:48.370 --> 00:54:50.410
‐ I'm sorry, that's‐‐ I'm sorry.

1331
00:54:51.450 --> 00:54:54.540
‐ Yeah, so the thing that
I can relate to is just

1332
00:54:54.540 --> 00:54:58.250
being in love with somebody that is...

1333
00:54:58.250 --> 00:55:01.050
too afraid to show the world who they are.

1334
00:55:07.970 --> 00:55:09.680
But that was a long time ago.

1335
00:55:10.720 --> 00:55:12.270
‐ Yeah.

1336
00:55:12.270 --> 00:55:14.270
[ music ends ]
[ cheering, applause ]

1337
00:55:14.270 --> 00:55:16.270
‐ Thank you!

1338
00:55:16.270 --> 00:55:19.020
All right, that's enough.

1339
00:55:20.070 --> 00:55:23.860
And with this next song,
we're gonna need a little help from you.

1340
00:55:23.860 --> 00:55:26.450
‐ We're gonna ask you a...

1341
00:55:26.450 --> 00:55:28.070
‐ Question.
‐ ...question.

1342
00:55:28.070 --> 00:55:30.330
And you are going to...

1343
00:55:30.330 --> 00:55:31.910
‐ Give us the answer.
‐ ...answer.

1344
00:55:31.910 --> 00:55:34.040
‐ Yeah.
‐ [ laughs ] It's simple.

1345
00:55:34.040 --> 00:55:35.620
EM K. ULTRA:
Here we go.

1346
00:55:35.620 --> 00:55:37.120
[ applause ]

1347
00:55:37.120 --> 00:55:40.130
♪ Who's got a beard
that's long and white? ♪

1348
00:55:40.130 --> 00:55:42.590
‐ [ patrons singing ]
‐ We're gonna sing. Ready?
‐ Mm‐hmm. Yeah.

1349
00:55:42.590 --> 00:55:45.220
‐ ♪ Who comes around
on a special night? ♪

1350
00:55:45.220 --> 00:55:48.090
‐ ♪ Santa comes around
on a special night ♪

1351
00:55:48.090 --> 00:55:50.600
‐ ♪ Special night ♪
‐ ♪ Special night ♪

1352
00:55:50.600 --> 00:55:53.560
‐ ♪ Beard that's white ♪
‐ ♪ Beard that's white ♪

1353
00:55:53.560 --> 00:55:54.980
MISS L'TEAU: Everybody!
‐ Whoa.

1354
00:55:54.980 --> 00:55:58.650
ALL:
♪ Must be Santa, must be Santa ♪

1355
00:55:58.650 --> 00:56:01.150
♪ Must be Santa ♪

1356
00:56:01.150 --> 00:56:04.110
♪ Santa Claus ♪

1357
00:56:04.110 --> 00:56:05.900
‐ No. No, what? Oh, my God, no.
‐ What?

1358
00:56:05.900 --> 00:56:07.860
‐ Oh, we're gonna get
a little more intimate now.

1359
00:56:07.860 --> 00:56:09.200
RILEY:
Yes!

1360
00:56:09.200 --> 00:56:11.580
‐ ♪ Who's got boots and a suit of red? ♪

1361
00:56:11.580 --> 00:56:13.370
‐ [ laughs ]
‐ Oh... [ laughs ]

1362
00:56:13.370 --> 00:56:16.000
Come on, you want to hear her sing, right?

1363
00:56:16.000 --> 00:56:19.670
MISS L'TEAU: Yeah.
Yeah, we want to hear her sing.
‐ [ cheering ]

1364
00:56:19.670 --> 00:56:21.960
EM K. ULTRA: ♪ Who's got boots
and a suit of red? ♪
‐ I'll help you.

1365
00:56:21.960 --> 00:56:24.670
ABBY and RILEY:
♪ Santa's got boots and a suit of red ♪

1366
00:56:24.670 --> 00:56:27.260
EM K. ULTRA: Yeah, perfect!
MISS L'TEAU: ♪ Who's got
a long cap on his head? ♪

1367
00:56:27.260 --> 00:56:30.010
ALL:
♪ Santa's got a long cap on his head ♪

1368
00:56:30.010 --> 00:56:32.760
EM K. ULTRA: ♪ On his head ♪
OTHERS: ♪ On his head ♪

1369
00:56:32.760 --> 00:56:35.680
SINGERS: ♪ Suit of red ♪
PATRONS: ♪ Suit of red ♪

1370
00:56:35.680 --> 00:56:41.230
ALL:
♪ Must be Santa, must be Santa ♪

1371
00:56:41.230 --> 00:56:43.610
♪ Must be Santa ♪

1372
00:56:43.610 --> 00:56:47.110
♪ Santa Claus ♪

1373
00:56:47.110 --> 00:56:49.320
♪ Must be Santa ♪

1374
00:56:49.320 --> 00:56:52.070
♪ Must be Santa ♪
[ cell phone chimes ]

1375
00:56:52.070 --> 00:56:53.950
♪ Must be Santa... ♪

1376
00:56:53.950 --> 00:56:56.790
‐ Um, I should‐‐ I should close out.

1377
00:56:56.790 --> 00:56:58.830
It's‐‐ Harper texted me.

1378
00:56:58.830 --> 00:57:01.170
‐ Oh.
‐ Yes.

1379
00:57:01.170 --> 00:57:03.460
PATRONS:
♪ Santa's got a beard that's long... ♪

1380
00:57:03.460 --> 00:57:06.170
♪ lively dance music ♪

1381
00:57:06.170 --> 00:57:07.550
ASHLEY:
...of the square.

1382
00:57:07.550 --> 00:57:09.170
The guy at the top of the square.

1383
00:57:09.170 --> 00:57:10.380
That's the business model.

1384
00:57:10.380 --> 00:57:12.010
It's brilliant.

1385
00:57:12.010 --> 00:57:14.050
‐ Hi.

1386
00:57:14.050 --> 00:57:15.560
‐ Oh, Abby's here.
CONNOR: Shots, shots, shots.

1387
00:57:15.560 --> 00:57:17.600
You guys ready?
‐ How was‐‐ How was tonight?

1388
00:57:17.600 --> 00:57:19.140
‐ Shots!
‐ Oh, shots.
ABBY: It was great. It was good.

1389
00:57:19.140 --> 00:57:20.940
All right, I think I'm gonna grab a beer.
ASHLEY: Shots, shots, shots, shots.

1390
00:57:20.940 --> 00:57:22.480
‐ No, no, no, no.
CONNOR: No, Abby, Abby, hey.

1391
00:57:22.480 --> 00:57:23.610
Cannot be at this place sober.

1392
00:57:23.610 --> 00:57:24.820
It's a‐‐ Ready? Cheers.
ASHLEY and KELLY: Cheers.

1393
00:57:24.820 --> 00:57:26.150
‐ Eyes, eyes.
‐ Eyes, eyes.

1394
00:57:26.150 --> 00:57:28.400
‐ Eyes, eyes, eyes, eyes, eyes,
eyes, eyes, eyes, eyes, eyes, eyes.

1395
00:57:28.400 --> 00:57:29.530
CONNOR:
One, two, three. Go.

1396
00:57:30.570 --> 00:57:32.530
[ music ends ]
‐ Oh!

1397
00:57:32.530 --> 00:57:34.240
‐ Okay, I need some music.
HARPER: Did you have dinner?

1398
00:57:34.240 --> 00:57:35.660
ASHLEY: Come, come, come, come, come.
ABBY: Yeah.

1399
00:57:35.660 --> 00:57:37.490
‐ Wait. Okay, I'll come right back.

1400
00:57:39.960 --> 00:57:41.290
♪ lively dance music ♪

1401
00:57:41.290 --> 00:57:43.380
Are you having the most terrible time?

1402
00:57:43.380 --> 00:57:44.460
‐ No.

1403
00:57:44.460 --> 00:57:46.300
No, I'm‐I'm just tired.

1404
00:57:46.300 --> 00:57:47.550
‐ Okay.
‐ I'm really tired.

1405
00:57:47.550 --> 00:57:49.460
I think I'm gonna go.

1406
00:57:49.460 --> 00:57:51.010
‐ Oh, no.

1407
00:57:51.010 --> 00:57:52.510
Uh...

1408
00:57:52.510 --> 00:57:54.760
[ sighs ] I kind of want to stay
a little bit longer.

1409
00:57:54.760 --> 00:57:56.680
Is that okay?

1410
00:57:59.140 --> 00:58:00.980
‐ [ laughter ]

1411
00:58:02.230 --> 00:58:04.100
‐ Yeah, you should‐‐ Yes, of course.

1412
00:58:04.100 --> 00:58:05.360
Yeah. Yeah, I'm just‐‐
‐ Yeah?

1413
00:58:05.360 --> 00:58:06.690
Are you sure?
‐ Mm.

1414
00:58:06.690 --> 00:58:08.400
‐ Okay.

1415
00:58:08.400 --> 00:58:09.990
And you'll get home okay?

1416
00:58:09.990 --> 00:58:11.570
I won't be out late.

1417
00:58:11.570 --> 00:58:12.950
Okay.

1418
00:58:12.950 --> 00:58:15.700
Text me when you get home.

1419
00:58:15.700 --> 00:58:17.080
CONNOR:
Hey.

1420
00:58:17.080 --> 00:58:18.240
How about you?

1421
00:58:18.240 --> 00:58:19.750
You won't. You won't.

1422
00:58:19.750 --> 00:58:22.290
She will. You won't. You won't.
KELLY: You won't.

1423
00:58:47.980 --> 00:58:50.610
[ over speakers ]
♪ Hey ♪

1424
00:58:50.610 --> 00:58:52.860
♪ What are we doing? ♪

1425
00:58:52.860 --> 00:58:55.110
‐ [ quiet chatter ]

1426
00:58:55.110 --> 00:58:56.870
♪ Don't you remem... ♪

1427
00:58:56.870 --> 00:58:58.330
CONNOR:
Well, that was fun.

1428
00:58:58.330 --> 00:59:00.080
HARPER:
Whew. Yeah.

1429
00:59:00.080 --> 00:59:02.160
[ Connor groans ]
[ Harper sighs ]

1430
00:59:02.160 --> 00:59:04.580
‐ I'm glad you came out.
‐ Yeah.

1431
00:59:04.580 --> 00:59:06.830
‐ It's been a minute, you know,
since we've gotten to do this.

1432
00:59:06.830 --> 00:59:09.540
Like, since we‐‐

1433
00:59:10.590 --> 00:59:11.880
Well, you know.

1434
00:59:11.880 --> 00:59:13.970
I've missed you.

1435
00:59:13.970 --> 00:59:15.720
‐ No, it's nice to catch up.

1436
00:59:15.720 --> 00:59:17.180
‐ Yeah.

1437
00:59:17.180 --> 00:59:19.810
[ takes deep breath ]

1438
00:59:19.810 --> 00:59:22.100
‐ Well, I'm that way.

1439
00:59:22.100 --> 00:59:23.640
‐ Oh, darn.
‐ Where are you?

1440
00:59:23.640 --> 00:59:25.140
‐ I'm that way. [ laughs ]

1441
00:59:25.140 --> 00:59:26.650
‐ Good night.
‐ Good night.

1442
00:59:26.650 --> 00:59:28.230
It was great seeing you.
‐ [ grunts ]

1443
00:59:28.230 --> 00:59:30.400
‐ [ clears throat ]
‐ [ Harper chuckles ]

1444
00:59:30.400 --> 00:59:32.230
‐ [ sighs ]

1445
00:59:32.230 --> 00:59:34.240
Hey, Harper, was there someone else?

1446
00:59:36.610 --> 00:59:38.030
‐ What do you mean?

1447
00:59:39.070 --> 00:59:41.120
‐ Is that why we broke up?

1448
00:59:42.160 --> 00:59:44.250
‐ No.

1449
00:59:44.250 --> 00:59:46.960
No, I mean, I‐I told you
that the long distance

1450
00:59:46.960 --> 00:59:48.790
just got too hard and‐‐

1451
00:59:48.790 --> 00:59:50.290
‐ The distance. Yeah, I know, I know.

1452
00:59:50.290 --> 00:59:51.590
I know.

1453
00:59:52.630 --> 00:59:54.260
[ sighs ]

1454
00:59:54.260 --> 00:59:56.090
I don't know. Just...

1455
00:59:56.090 --> 00:59:58.970
kind of always felt like
there was something...

1456
01:00:00.760 --> 01:00:04.020
Kind of felt like there was
something you weren't telling me.

1457
01:00:11.150 --> 01:00:13.150
‐ There wasn't someone else.

1458
01:00:33.840 --> 01:00:35.260
ABBY: [ whispers ]
Hey.

1459
01:00:37.300 --> 01:00:39.300
‐ What's wrong?

1460
01:00:39.300 --> 01:00:40.640
‐ Just making sure you're okay.

1461
01:00:40.640 --> 01:00:42.260
‐ Why wouldn't I be?

1462
01:00:42.260 --> 01:00:44.850
‐ I don't know, you weren't
answering me, so I was‐‐

1463
01:00:44.850 --> 01:00:47.890
‐ I‐I know, but you‐you knew
I was out with my friends.

1464
01:00:47.890 --> 01:00:49.270
‐ Yeah, but, I mean, I didn't know that

1465
01:00:49.270 --> 01:00:50.980
you were gonna be out
till 2:00 in the morning,

1466
01:00:50.980 --> 01:00:52.190
so I'm just checking on you.

1467
01:00:52.190 --> 01:00:54.480
‐ Okay.

1468
01:00:54.480 --> 01:00:56.780
[ chuckles ] I'm sorry.
I didn't know I had a curfew.

1469
01:00:56.780 --> 01:00:58.570
‐ What is going on with you?

1470
01:00:58.570 --> 01:01:00.570
‐ Nothing. I‐‐

1471
01:01:00.570 --> 01:01:02.280
Nothing.

1472
01:01:02.280 --> 01:01:06.120
I just don't know why
you're keeping tabs on me.

1473
01:01:06.120 --> 01:01:08.080
‐ Keeping tabs on you?
‐ Yeah.

1474
01:01:08.080 --> 01:01:09.710
It just‐‐

1475
01:01:09.710 --> 01:01:11.290
[ sighs ]

1476
01:01:11.290 --> 01:01:12.880
‐ What?

1477
01:01:12.880 --> 01:01:16.460
‐ It just feels a little... suffocating.

1478
01:01:16.460 --> 01:01:17.840
‐ I'm suffocating you?

1479
01:01:17.840 --> 01:01:19.840
‐ Or not, but just‐‐

1480
01:01:19.840 --> 01:01:21.800
‐ Well, I feel really suffocated
in the closet

1481
01:01:21.800 --> 01:01:23.220
that you shoved me back into.
‐ Shh!

1482
01:01:23.220 --> 01:01:24.680
[ hushed ]
You agreed to this.

1483
01:01:24.680 --> 01:01:25.930
‐ Yeah, we were practically already here.

1484
01:01:25.930 --> 01:01:27.180
‐ Can you sh‐‐

1485
01:01:27.180 --> 01:01:28.600
Please be quiet.

1486
01:01:28.600 --> 01:01:30.600
‐ I was gonna‐‐ I‐‐

1487
01:01:32.400 --> 01:01:34.650
If I knew that part
of what I was agreeing to

1488
01:01:34.650 --> 01:01:36.690
was you hanging out
with your ex‐boyfriend all night,

1489
01:01:36.690 --> 01:01:39.690
maybe I wouldn't have.
‐ [ sighs ] God, Abby.

1490
01:01:42.240 --> 01:01:45.330
I just‐‐ I feel like
we just need some space.

1491
01:01:45.330 --> 01:01:46.620
‐ You need some space?

1492
01:01:48.450 --> 01:01:50.250
Okay.

1493
01:01:51.420 --> 01:01:52.830
‐ Abby.

1494
01:01:52.830 --> 01:01:54.290
[ footsteps stomping ]
‐ Oh.

1495
01:01:54.290 --> 01:01:57.460
She is very heavy‐footed.

1496
01:01:57.460 --> 01:02:02.470
Honey, I have a list of party errands
that Jane has volunteered to run,

1497
01:02:02.470 --> 01:02:04.680
but I don't trust her
to do them on her own,

1498
01:02:04.680 --> 01:02:07.140
so I need you to supervise.

1499
01:02:07.140 --> 01:02:09.060
‐ Okay.

1500
01:02:13.400 --> 01:02:15.560
‐ It's a long list.

1501
01:02:18.690 --> 01:02:20.490
HARPER: [ sighs ]
Okay.

1502
01:02:20.490 --> 01:02:21.820
[ groans ]

1503
01:02:32.000 --> 01:02:33.750
ABBY:
No, no.

1504
01:02:34.790 --> 01:02:36.080
[ phone vibrating ]

1505
01:02:38.210 --> 01:02:41.090
Hey.
JOHN: Okay, so...

1506
01:02:41.090 --> 01:02:44.470
I might have been a little judgmental
when we last spoke.

1507
01:02:44.470 --> 01:02:48.140
You are in an unusual situation,
and as your friend,

1508
01:02:48.140 --> 01:02:50.470
I should have created
a safe space for you to share

1509
01:02:50.470 --> 01:02:52.890
without the threat of criticism, so...

1510
01:02:52.890 --> 01:02:54.560
I'm sorry.

1511
01:02:54.560 --> 01:02:56.230
I am here.

1512
01:02:56.230 --> 01:02:57.860
No judgment.

1513
01:02:57.860 --> 01:02:59.400
What is going on?

1514
01:02:59.400 --> 01:03:00.980
ABBY:
Well, let's see.

1515
01:03:00.980 --> 01:03:03.110
I was arrested by mall security yesterday,

1516
01:03:03.110 --> 01:03:05.280
and now Harper's entire family
thinks I'm a criminal.

1517
01:03:05.280 --> 01:03:07.740
And after spending her entire night, like,

1518
01:03:07.740 --> 01:03:11.660
until 2:00 in the morning,
with her ex‐boyfriend Connor,

1519
01:03:11.660 --> 01:03:14.000
she's acting like someone
I barely even recognize.

1520
01:03:14.000 --> 01:03:16.580
And I want to just get out of here,
but it would cost me

1521
01:03:16.580 --> 01:03:18.750
like a thousand dollars
to get a ride, and‐‐

1522
01:03:18.750 --> 01:03:21.340
This is why I avoid Christmas.

1523
01:03:21.340 --> 01:03:23.010
It brings out the worst in everything.

1524
01:03:23.010 --> 01:03:26.050
I‐I know this isn't about me.
I just feel crazy, like‐‐

1525
01:03:26.050 --> 01:03:28.720
Do I‐‐ It's‐‐
Do I stick it out for two days?

1526
01:03:28.720 --> 01:03:30.720
It's‐it's not that long.

1527
01:03:30.720 --> 01:03:32.810
But I don't know. I‐‐

1528
01:03:34.020 --> 01:03:35.890
What would you do?

1529
01:03:35.890 --> 01:03:37.060
JOHN:
Uh...

1530
01:03:37.060 --> 01:03:38.520
Uh... uh...

1531
01:03:38.520 --> 01:03:39.650
I...

1532
01:03:39.650 --> 01:03:41.780
[ quietly ]
Thank you.

1533
01:03:41.780 --> 01:03:44.740
I'm gonna‐‐ I'm gonna need
to give this a think.

1534
01:03:44.740 --> 01:03:46.490
I think.

1535
01:03:47.740 --> 01:03:49.570
‐ Hello?

1536
01:03:59.330 --> 01:04:01.920
[ inhales deeply ]

1537
01:04:01.920 --> 01:04:03.960
[ exhales ]

1538
01:04:07.050 --> 01:04:09.050
[ exhales sharply ]

1539
01:04:11.180 --> 01:04:13.100
[ sighs ]

1540
01:04:14.520 --> 01:04:16.140
Hey, um...

1541
01:04:16.140 --> 01:04:17.890
Hey, it's Abby.

1542
01:04:17.890 --> 01:04:20.020
Are you‐‐ Are you doing
anything right now?

1543
01:04:20.020 --> 01:04:22.270
Who's really gonna want
a mini doughnut factory?

1544
01:04:22.270 --> 01:04:23.820
RILEY:
Uh, this family.

1545
01:04:23.820 --> 01:04:25.860
I saw two of their cousins
get in a fistfight

1546
01:04:25.860 --> 01:04:27.700
over a quesadilla maker
at this party once.

1547
01:04:27.700 --> 01:04:29.780
[ cell phone chimes ]
‐ Oh, yikes.

1548
01:04:36.910 --> 01:04:38.370
‐ Everything all right?

1549
01:04:38.370 --> 01:04:39.670
‐ Yeah.

1550
01:04:42.670 --> 01:04:45.840
JANE:
Thank you so much. It looks so good.

1551
01:04:45.840 --> 01:04:47.920
I mean, it‐it looks good.

1552
01:04:47.920 --> 01:04:50.680
[ "The First Noel"
plays softly over speakers ]

1553
01:04:52.890 --> 01:04:54.350
JANE:
This is all for me.

1554
01:04:54.350 --> 01:04:55.850
[ chuckles ] It's not. It's not.

1555
01:04:55.850 --> 01:04:57.020
I'm just kidding.

1556
01:04:57.020 --> 01:04:58.730
It's for my‐‐

1557
01:04:58.730 --> 01:05:00.810
And yes, we'll have‐‐

1558
01:05:06.070 --> 01:05:08.190
Ready to go?

1559
01:05:08.190 --> 01:05:10.820
‐ [ gasps ]
[ bottles clatter ]

1560
01:05:10.820 --> 01:05:12.450
[ Harper sighs ]

1561
01:05:12.450 --> 01:05:14.450
‐ It's probably okay.

1562
01:05:16.370 --> 01:05:18.250
[ grunts ]

1563
01:05:18.250 --> 01:05:20.330
‐ [ Harper gasps ]

1564
01:05:22.080 --> 01:05:23.290
[ Harper sighs ]

1565
01:05:23.290 --> 01:05:25.300
♪ playful music ♪

1566
01:05:29.420 --> 01:05:31.890
‐ Oh, do not put that there.

1567
01:05:31.890 --> 01:05:34.640
What do you think this is, a barn party?

1568
01:05:34.640 --> 01:05:37.560
Hey, everyone, please come down!

1569
01:05:37.560 --> 01:05:41.230
We are getting this photo
as soon as Jane gets here.

1570
01:05:41.230 --> 01:05:42.940
‐ Honey, are you sure
this is the best time?

1571
01:05:42.940 --> 01:05:44.400
People will start arriving any minute.

1572
01:05:44.400 --> 01:05:45.980
‐ It's the only time.

1573
01:05:45.980 --> 01:05:47.320
[ door opens ]

1574
01:05:48.940 --> 01:05:50.490
Hi, Abby.
‐ Hi.

1575
01:05:50.490 --> 01:05:52.990
Oh, where should I put
this white elephant gift?

1576
01:05:52.990 --> 01:05:54.820
‐ I don't know. In the oven?

1577
01:05:54.820 --> 01:05:56.450
Jesus, Abby, where do you think it goes?

1578
01:05:56.450 --> 01:05:57.990
Under the damn tree.

1579
01:05:57.990 --> 01:05:59.620
[ sighs ] I'm sorry.

1580
01:05:59.620 --> 01:06:01.290
I'm sorry.

1581
01:06:01.290 --> 01:06:03.630
You probably never even
had a Christmas tree.

1582
01:06:03.630 --> 01:06:06.090
[ sighs ] We do this party every year,

1583
01:06:06.090 --> 01:06:09.260
and every year,
no matter how early I start planning,

1584
01:06:09.260 --> 01:06:11.970
I just feel totally unprepared.

1585
01:06:11.970 --> 01:06:15.760
[ sighs ]
And I can't find my Christmas brooch.

1586
01:06:15.760 --> 01:06:17.310
Have you seen it?

1587
01:06:17.310 --> 01:06:18.890
You can tell me.

1588
01:06:18.890 --> 01:06:20.310
I won't be mad.

1589
01:06:20.310 --> 01:06:22.190
I just want to know it's safe.

1590
01:06:23.650 --> 01:06:25.110
‐ I haven't seen it.

1591
01:06:26.610 --> 01:06:28.020
‐ Okay.

1592
01:06:28.020 --> 01:06:32.490
Well, if it should magically
appear on my dresser,

1593
01:06:32.490 --> 01:06:34.490
there will be no questions asked.

1594
01:06:34.490 --> 01:06:35.740
‐ Okay.
TIPPER: Okay.

1595
01:06:43.790 --> 01:06:46.290
‐ [ sighs ] Um...

1596
01:06:46.290 --> 01:06:47.500
Hey, Ted.

1597
01:06:48.590 --> 01:06:51.720
I just wanted to mention‐‐

1598
01:06:51.720 --> 01:06:54.970
everything that happened yesterday
was a complete misunderstanding.

1599
01:06:54.970 --> 01:06:56.470
You know, I would never, ever‐‐

1600
01:06:56.470 --> 01:06:58.720
You‐you don't‐‐ You don't have to explain.

1601
01:06:58.720 --> 01:07:01.140
Let's just avoid
any further incidents, yes?

1602
01:07:01.140 --> 01:07:02.890
‐ Yeah. Yes.
TED: Okay.

1603
01:07:02.890 --> 01:07:05.440
‐ Ho, ho, ho. Merry Christmas Eve.
TED: Oh.

1604
01:07:05.440 --> 01:07:07.440
‐ [ chuckles ] Hey, Abby.
ABBY: Hey.

1605
01:07:07.440 --> 01:07:09.440
‐ Look at what this little elf brought in.

1606
01:07:09.440 --> 01:07:11.280
[ squeals ]
ABBY: Wow. What is that?

1607
01:07:11.280 --> 01:07:13.030
‐ This is my masterpiece.

1608
01:07:13.030 --> 01:07:15.530
Whoever picks it is gonna be very pleased.

1609
01:07:15.530 --> 01:07:16.950
‐ Oh, Jane, I'm so glad you're here.

1610
01:07:16.950 --> 01:07:18.280
The printer's jammed again.

1611
01:07:18.280 --> 01:07:20.290
‐ Oh, okay. I'm on it.

1612
01:07:32.300 --> 01:07:34.920
‐ Hey.
‐ Hey.

1613
01:07:34.920 --> 01:07:36.720
What'd you do today?

1614
01:07:36.720 --> 01:07:40.050
‐ I just went and got
a white elephant gift.

1615
01:07:40.050 --> 01:07:41.390
‐ Oh.

1616
01:07:41.390 --> 01:07:42.850
In town?

1617
01:07:42.850 --> 01:07:44.180
‐ Yeah.

1618
01:07:44.180 --> 01:07:45.600
‐ How'd you get there?

1619
01:07:45.600 --> 01:07:46.690
‐ Has Jane arrived yet?

1620
01:07:46.690 --> 01:07:49.520
‐ Yeah, Jane's in Ted's office with him.

1621
01:07:49.520 --> 01:07:51.400
TIPPER:
Jane, Ted, now!

1622
01:07:51.400 --> 01:07:54.030
Nice of you two to join us.
Where are the twins?

1623
01:07:54.030 --> 01:07:56.740
‐ They don't feel like having
their picture taken tonight.

1624
01:07:56.740 --> 01:07:59.280
‐ [ Tipper sighs ]

1625
01:07:59.280 --> 01:08:01.790
TIPPER:
Harper, come with me.

1626
01:08:02.830 --> 01:08:05.290
♪ upbeat holiday music ♪

1627
01:08:07.920 --> 01:08:09.420
SLOANE:
It's really a break from

1628
01:08:09.420 --> 01:08:12.550
traditional gifting
and a move into the extraordinary.

1629
01:08:12.550 --> 01:08:15.220
The vessels are curated
for each individual.

1630
01:08:15.220 --> 01:08:17.840
We'd be happy to mindfully assemble‐‐
TED: Uh, S‐Sloane was

1631
01:08:17.840 --> 01:08:21.550
on track to make partner at her firm
before she left to start a family.

1632
01:08:21.550 --> 01:08:22.720
She's our super mom,

1633
01:08:22.720 --> 01:08:27.140
Harper is our powerhouse, and, uh, Jane...

1634
01:08:27.140 --> 01:08:29.850
i‐is the only reason
the Internet ever works in this house.

1635
01:08:29.850 --> 01:08:31.310
‐ [ laughing ]
JANE: Aw.

1636
01:08:31.310 --> 01:08:33.150
I have a way with routers.

1637
01:08:35.030 --> 01:08:36.780
ERIC:
Excuse me, all.

1638
01:08:36.780 --> 01:08:38.950
Uh, the twins have prepared
a little song for you.

1639
01:08:38.950 --> 01:08:40.240
HARPER:
Oh.

1640
01:08:40.240 --> 01:08:42.700
[ piano playing "Silent Night" ]

1641
01:08:45.370 --> 01:08:48.620
‐ ♪ Silent night ♪

1642
01:08:48.620 --> 01:08:51.460
♪ Holy night ♪

1643
01:08:51.460 --> 01:08:53.500
♪ All is calm... ♪

1644
01:08:53.500 --> 01:08:55.590
‐ What are you drinking?

1645
01:08:55.590 --> 01:08:57.800
‐ Oh, it's a spiced... alcohol.

1646
01:08:57.800 --> 01:09:00.220
‐ Gross. Can I have some?
‐ Yeah.

1647
01:09:00.220 --> 01:09:03.350
KIDS:
♪ Mother and child... ♪

1648
01:09:03.350 --> 01:09:05.850
‐Mm‐hmm.
‐ So, Plort is the leader
of the Shadow Dreamers.

1649
01:09:05.850 --> 01:09:07.890
He's half human, half Quazzle.
‐ Mm‐hmm. Mm‐hmm.

1650
01:09:07.890 --> 01:09:10.310
‐ He's got the eyes of a Verg
but the heart of a Zengle.

1651
01:09:10.310 --> 01:09:12.230
The Verg comes from his mother's side,
generations back.

1652
01:09:12.230 --> 01:09:14.020
SLOANE:
If you want the spa package vessel,

1653
01:09:14.020 --> 01:09:15.860
you could do edible bubble bath.
‐ Excuse me, Sloane.

1654
01:09:15.860 --> 01:09:17.990
Uh, Harry wants to meet the twins.

1655
01:09:17.990 --> 01:09:19.360
‐ I'll find them.
TED: Okay.

1656
01:09:19.360 --> 01:09:20.700
‐ Excuse me.

1657
01:09:20.700 --> 01:09:23.580
‐ You know?
Thing is, my parents were so attached

1658
01:09:23.580 --> 01:09:28.040
to me believing in Santa Claus
that even after years go by

1659
01:09:28.040 --> 01:09:30.080
and I stop believing in Santa Claus,

1660
01:09:30.080 --> 01:09:32.250
and they knew that I stopped
believing in Santa Claus,

1661
01:09:32.250 --> 01:09:34.250
we just kept that charade going.

1662
01:09:34.250 --> 01:09:37.460
Their investment in it just made me feel
so bad for them, you know?

1663
01:09:37.460 --> 01:09:39.010
‐ Mm‐hmm.

1664
01:09:40.050 --> 01:09:42.390
Yeah.

1665
01:09:42.390 --> 01:09:44.430
‐ Like, so bad for them that...

1666
01:09:44.430 --> 01:09:47.720
you know, that I eventually
just murdered them.

1667
01:09:47.720 --> 01:09:48.890
‐ That sounds fun.
‐ Mm.

1668
01:09:48.890 --> 01:09:50.350
Okay.

1669
01:09:51.390 --> 01:09:53.020
What is happening?

1670
01:09:53.020 --> 01:09:54.480
CONNOR:
Hey, you guys.

1671
01:09:54.480 --> 01:09:56.150
HARPER:
Connor, you made it.

1672
01:09:56.150 --> 01:09:57.860
JANE: Hi. Merry Christmas. Hi.
CONNOR: Hey, guys. Merry Christmas.

1673
01:09:57.860 --> 01:09:59.690
Good to see you. Hi.
‐ [ Abby sighs ]

1674
01:09:59.690 --> 01:10:02.110
CONNOR: Merry Christmas.
‐ I don't know.

1675
01:10:04.160 --> 01:10:05.950
Yesterday, I'd never felt closer

1676
01:10:05.950 --> 01:10:08.330
to another person
in my entire life, and now I...

1677
01:10:08.330 --> 01:10:11.040
I don't know her.

1678
01:10:11.040 --> 01:10:14.460
And I thought she loved me
and was happy, but I...

1679
01:10:14.460 --> 01:10:18.500
I‐I see her here, and she's so terrified
of what everyone thinks,

1680
01:10:18.500 --> 01:10:20.840
and it's just making me wonder
who the real Harper is.

1681
01:10:20.840 --> 01:10:22.880
You know?

1682
01:10:22.880 --> 01:10:24.930
‐ Well, maybe they both are.

1683
01:10:28.220 --> 01:10:30.220
‐ I was gonna ask her
to marry me tomorrow.

1684
01:10:37.110 --> 01:10:40.110
‐ Um, I'm gonna get you a real drink.

1685
01:10:40.110 --> 01:10:41.950
Okay?

1686
01:10:45.370 --> 01:10:46.620
JOHN: [ whispers ]
Abby.

1687
01:10:46.620 --> 01:10:48.410
Abby! [ clears throat ]

1688
01:10:48.410 --> 01:10:50.450
Sorry. What?

1689
01:10:51.450 --> 01:10:52.620
ABBY:
Um...

1690
01:10:53.830 --> 01:10:55.080
How are you here?

1691
01:10:55.080 --> 01:10:56.500
‐ When are you gonna get this?

1692
01:10:56.500 --> 01:10:58.250
I have been tracking you.

1693
01:10:58.250 --> 01:10:59.630
Mm, mm, mm, mm. [ clears throat ]

1694
01:10:59.630 --> 01:11:00.840
‐ Hello.

1695
01:11:00.840 --> 01:11:01.840
‐ Hi.

1696
01:11:01.840 --> 01:11:02.880
TIPPER:
I'm Tipper.

1697
01:11:02.880 --> 01:11:04.470
This is my home.
JOHN: Oh.

1698
01:11:04.470 --> 01:11:06.220
‐ Are you the ex‐boyfriend?

1699
01:11:10.890 --> 01:11:13.730
‐ [ clears throat ] Y‐Yes. I am John,

1700
01:11:13.730 --> 01:11:16.350
Abby's heterosexual ex‐boyfriend,

1701
01:11:16.350 --> 01:11:19.440
and I have come to get her back.

1702
01:11:19.440 --> 01:11:20.980
TIPPER:
Mm. I see.

1703
01:11:20.980 --> 01:11:24.820
Well, it would've been nice
to have known you were coming,

1704
01:11:24.820 --> 01:11:28.320
but since you are here, enjoy.

1705
01:11:28.320 --> 01:11:30.330
JOHN:
Thank you so much.

1706
01:11:31.790 --> 01:11:34.120
Okay, I nailed that, and she is fabulous.

1707
01:11:34.120 --> 01:11:35.370
‐ What are you doing?

1708
01:11:35.370 --> 01:11:38.170
‐ That phone call earlier
was a cry for help.

1709
01:11:38.170 --> 01:11:40.630
I'm here to rescue you.
Please get your things.

1710
01:11:40.630 --> 01:11:42.630
‐ [ sighs ]

1711
01:11:45.300 --> 01:11:46.470
‐ Is that the ex‐boyfriend?

1712
01:11:46.470 --> 01:11:47.930
‐ [ indistinct conversation ]

1713
01:11:47.930 --> 01:11:49.390
‐ [ gasps ] Oh, my God.

1714
01:11:50.560 --> 01:11:52.560
‐ I mean, I guess he's handsome. I‐‐

1715
01:11:52.560 --> 01:11:54.560
Can we please go?

1716
01:11:59.650 --> 01:12:01.190
‐ Harper.

1717
01:12:01.190 --> 01:12:02.650
It's over.

1718
01:12:02.650 --> 01:12:04.190
I'm done.

1719
01:12:10.280 --> 01:12:12.290
‐ I'm just gonna...

1720
01:12:13.370 --> 01:12:16.040
‐ Everybody, please take your seats.

1721
01:12:16.040 --> 01:12:18.880
We're ready to begin white elephant.

1722
01:12:20.630 --> 01:12:22.090
HARPER:
Abby. Hey.

1723
01:12:22.090 --> 01:12:23.420
Can we just talk for a second?

1724
01:12:23.420 --> 01:12:25.210
‐ No. I got to go. I‐I can't‐‐

1725
01:12:25.210 --> 01:12:26.800
I can't do this for you anymore.

1726
01:12:26.800 --> 01:12:28.550
But, uh, merry Christmas.

1727
01:12:28.550 --> 01:12:32.010
Enjoy your family, and enjoy Connor.

1728
01:12:32.010 --> 01:12:35.140
‐ What? What?
No, I don't‐‐ I don't want him.

1729
01:12:35.140 --> 01:12:36.730
I don't want Connor.

1730
01:12:36.730 --> 01:12:37.890
I want you.

1731
01:12:37.890 --> 01:12:39.060
‐ Then what was that?

1732
01:12:39.060 --> 01:12:40.770
‐ I don't know.

1733
01:12:40.770 --> 01:12:43.610
Why are you huddled
in a corner with Riley?

1734
01:12:43.610 --> 01:12:45.940
‐ None of this has anything
to do with Riley.

1735
01:12:45.940 --> 01:12:48.360
This is all happening
because of you, Harper.

1736
01:12:48.360 --> 01:12:51.950
You not telling your parents about us
is a choice that you made.

1737
01:12:51.950 --> 01:12:53.910
‐ It is not that simple.
ABBY: Do you know how painful

1738
01:12:53.910 --> 01:12:58.370
it's been to watch the person
that I love choose to hide me?

1739
01:12:58.370 --> 01:13:00.880
‐ I am not hiding you. I am hiding me.

1740
01:13:01.920 --> 01:13:03.750
Okay?

1741
01:13:03.750 --> 01:13:06.840
Our entire life,
we have been expected to be

1742
01:13:06.840 --> 01:13:10.800
these perfect, golden children.

1743
01:13:11.970 --> 01:13:15.520
I mean, love in our house wasn't
something we just got for free.

1744
01:13:15.520 --> 01:13:17.100
It is something that we competed for,

1745
01:13:17.100 --> 01:13:19.520
and if we veered
off their course, we lost it.

1746
01:13:21.020 --> 01:13:23.270
I‐I know it's messed up, okay?

1747
01:13:23.270 --> 01:13:24.940
I get it.

1748
01:13:24.940 --> 01:13:26.610
But they're my parents,

1749
01:13:26.610 --> 01:13:29.110
and I am scared that if
I tell them who I really am,

1750
01:13:29.110 --> 01:13:31.280
I will lose them.

1751
01:13:31.280 --> 01:13:34.910
And I know, if I don't tell them,
I will lose you.

1752
01:13:36.950 --> 01:13:38.960
I don't want to lose you.

1753
01:13:41.210 --> 01:13:42.540
‐ Hey, come here. Come here.

1754
01:13:42.540 --> 01:13:44.290
‐ No, I don't want to lose you.
‐ No, no.

1755
01:13:44.290 --> 01:13:46.250
Look at me. Come here.
Look at me. It's okay.

1756
01:13:46.250 --> 01:13:48.340
‐ I don't‐‐
‐ Hey, stop.

1757
01:13:50.010 --> 01:13:52.390
HARPER: I don't want to lose you.
ABBY: You're not.

1758
01:13:57.390 --> 01:13:59.770
SLOANE:
Matilda and Magnus...

1759
01:14:03.310 --> 01:14:05.230
TIPPER:
If you want a present... [ laughs ]

1760
01:14:05.230 --> 01:14:07.230
you better have a number.

1761
01:14:07.230 --> 01:14:08.610
‐ [ clears throat ] 'Sup?

1762
01:14:08.610 --> 01:14:09.990
‐ 'Sup?

1763
01:14:09.990 --> 01:14:11.530
TIPPER:
Anybody else?

1764
01:14:11.530 --> 01:14:12.820
‐ [ chuckles ]

1765
01:14:12.820 --> 01:14:14.820
‐ You pump?

1766
01:14:15.950 --> 01:14:18.490
‐ I'm sorry?
‐ Weights.

1767
01:14:18.490 --> 01:14:20.370
‐ Oh.
‐ Yeah.

1768
01:14:21.500 --> 01:14:23.460
‐ Yeah.

1769
01:14:23.460 --> 01:14:25.880
You?
‐ Yeah. Yeah.

1770
01:14:27.000 --> 01:14:29.010
‐ What do you bench?
‐ [ sighs ]

1771
01:14:30.090 --> 01:14:32.090
Thousand. Thou‐Thousand, plus.

1772
01:14:32.090 --> 01:14:34.140
TIPPER:
All right. Everybody have your numbers?

1773
01:14:34.140 --> 01:14:35.760
SLOANE: Kids?
‐ Sloane, Sloane, Sloane!

1774
01:14:35.760 --> 01:14:37.350
‐ Hmm? Yeah?
‐ Can we just talk for a sec?

1775
01:14:37.350 --> 01:14:39.350
‐ Oh, what's there to talk about?
You and Abby are in

1776
01:14:39.350 --> 01:14:41.180
a romantic relationship,
and you've been lying

1777
01:14:41.180 --> 01:14:42.940
to the family about it
for God knows how long.

1778
01:14:42.940 --> 01:14:44.520
Does that sound about right, or‐‐

1779
01:14:44.520 --> 01:14:48.230
‐ Just, uh, please don't tell
Mom and Dad yet.

1780
01:14:48.230 --> 01:14:50.530
‐ [ chuckles softly ]
‐ Please, Sloane.

1781
01:14:50.530 --> 01:14:52.860
I'm telling them after the holidays.

1782
01:14:59.490 --> 01:15:01.450
‐ [ chuckles ]

1783
01:15:01.450 --> 01:15:02.790
Just rip it.

1784
01:15:02.790 --> 01:15:04.670
HARPER:
Please promise me you won't say anything.

1785
01:15:04.670 --> 01:15:07.080
Now is just very bad timing,

1786
01:15:07.080 --> 01:15:09.170
and I'm telling them everything
after the holidays anyways.

1787
01:15:09.170 --> 01:15:10.710
‐ Honestly, I feel sorry for you.

1788
01:15:10.710 --> 01:15:12.340
Mom and Dad are gonna be so heartbroken

1789
01:15:12.340 --> 01:15:14.340
when they find out
you've been lying to them.
[ clattering ]

1790
01:15:14.340 --> 01:15:16.550
‐ Sloane, if you‐‐
‐ [ gasps ] Wait. Kids?

1791
01:15:16.550 --> 01:15:18.890
Found you!
‐ [ gasping ]

1792
01:15:18.890 --> 01:15:20.100
HARPER:
Oh.

1793
01:15:20.100 --> 01:15:21.310
‐ Are you kidding me?

1794
01:15:21.310 --> 01:15:23.640
No one's supposed to know yet.

1795
01:15:23.640 --> 01:15:25.390
We had an agreement.

1796
01:15:25.390 --> 01:15:26.900
‐ I'm sorry.

1797
01:15:26.900 --> 01:15:29.570
‐ I guess I'm not
the only one with a secret.

1798
01:15:31.480 --> 01:15:33.110
‐ [ Sloane screams ]

1799
01:15:33.110 --> 01:15:34.530
‐ Wow.
‐ Yeah.

1800
01:15:34.530 --> 01:15:36.410
‐ Yeah, that is‐‐ That's‐that's good mass.

1801
01:15:36.410 --> 01:15:38.030
That is solid.
‐ Yeah. Thanks, man.

1802
01:15:38.030 --> 01:15:40.280
JANE:
Oh, my God. They all look so nice.

1803
01:15:40.280 --> 01:15:42.120
‐ Just choose, Jane.
‐ [ chuckles ]

1804
01:15:42.120 --> 01:15:43.910
‐ Eeny, meeny, mi‐‐

1805
01:15:43.910 --> 01:15:45.460
[ laughs ] I'm just kidding.

1806
01:15:45.460 --> 01:15:46.460
‐ [ grunting ]

1807
01:15:46.460 --> 01:15:48.880
‐ You have no idea what goes on
in other people's families,

1808
01:15:48.880 --> 01:15:50.960
so you need to just keep your mouth shut!

1809
01:15:50.960 --> 01:15:53.420
HARPER:
You keep your mouth shut, psycho!

1810
01:15:53.420 --> 01:15:55.340
‐ I should run. Yeah.
‐ Yeah.

1811
01:15:57.390 --> 01:15:59.140
‐ Levi. [ clears throat ] We should‐‐

1812
01:15:59.140 --> 01:16:01.220
JANE:
Huh. I wonder what this one is.

1813
01:16:02.640 --> 01:16:05.270
‐ Abby, get the Santa.
‐ [ strained grunt ]

1814
01:16:05.270 --> 01:16:07.100
‐ I mean‐‐
‐ You stay out of this, Sappho.

1815
01:16:07.100 --> 01:16:08.150
‐ I would‐‐

1816
01:16:08.150 --> 01:16:09.860
‐ [ grunting ]

1817
01:16:09.860 --> 01:16:12.150
‐ I don't know what this is.

1818
01:16:12.150 --> 01:16:14.440
It's big.
‐ [ laughter ]

1819
01:16:14.440 --> 01:16:15.990
‐ [ grunting, screaming ]
‐ Oh!

1820
01:16:18.490 --> 01:16:20.240
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
‐ [ gasping ]

1821
01:16:20.240 --> 01:16:21.780
‐ Oh, gosh.

1822
01:16:21.780 --> 01:16:23.790
Here, help me out here.

1823
01:16:25.290 --> 01:16:27.500
What‐what‐what‐‐ Wh‐What is this?

1824
01:16:27.500 --> 01:16:29.830
‐ It's a painting of Main Street.

1825
01:16:29.830 --> 01:16:30.750
I made it.

1826
01:16:30.750 --> 01:16:32.340
‐ I love that.

1827
01:16:32.340 --> 01:16:34.090
[ clearing throat ]

1828
01:16:35.920 --> 01:16:37.720
SLOANE:
No! No, no, no!

1829
01:16:37.720 --> 01:16:40.140
[ screams ] I'll kill you!

1830
01:16:40.140 --> 01:16:41.180
‐ [ guests murmuring ]
SLOANE: I'll kill you!

1831
01:16:41.180 --> 01:16:42.680
TED: What are you doing?
TIPPER: Girls!

1832
01:16:42.680 --> 01:16:44.930
What is going on?

1833
01:16:44.930 --> 01:16:46.390
‐ Yeah, what is going on?

1834
01:16:46.390 --> 01:16:48.440
Harper, do you want
to tell them, or should I?

1835
01:16:48.440 --> 01:16:49.940
‐ Don't, Sloane!
SLOANE: Why?

1836
01:16:49.940 --> 01:16:51.110
It's not good timing?

1837
01:16:51.110 --> 01:16:52.190
‐ [ grunts ]
‐ [ guests gasp ]

1838
01:16:52.190 --> 01:16:53.900
‐ Girls, stop that this instant!

1839
01:16:53.900 --> 01:16:55.480
‐ Come on, guys. Just hug it out.

1840
01:16:55.480 --> 01:16:56.650
BOTH:
Shut up, Jane!

1841
01:16:56.650 --> 01:16:58.360
‐ Don't do this, Sloane.

1842
01:16:58.360 --> 01:17:00.820
‐ All this because you're scared
to not be the favorite.

1843
01:17:00.820 --> 01:17:01.870
Pathetic.

1844
01:17:01.870 --> 01:17:03.030
‐ Sloane, you're making a scene!

1845
01:17:03.030 --> 01:17:04.080
SLOANE:
I am?

1846
01:17:04.080 --> 01:17:06.450
You think she's so innocent?

1847
01:17:07.580 --> 01:17:10.620
All of this is happening
because Harper is‐‐

1848
01:17:10.620 --> 01:17:12.750
‐ [ guests gasp, scream ]

1849
01:17:12.750 --> 01:17:13.840
‐ [ panting ]

1850
01:17:15.300 --> 01:17:17.420
‐ Harper is a lesbian.

1851
01:17:17.420 --> 01:17:19.430
Abby's her girlfriend.

1852
01:17:31.770 --> 01:17:32.980
‐ She is lying.

1853
01:17:34.980 --> 01:17:36.280
I am not a lesbian.

1854
01:17:36.280 --> 01:17:40.070
Sloane is the one that has this big‐‐

1855
01:18:07.600 --> 01:18:09.560
[ grunting in frustration ]
TED: No!

1856
01:18:09.560 --> 01:18:11.770
‐ [ Harper screams ]
‐ [ guests gasping, shouting ]

1857
01:18:11.770 --> 01:18:13.730
‐ Harper!
‐ [ Sloane and Harper screaming ]

1858
01:18:13.730 --> 01:18:15.860
‐ Stop it! Goddamn it, stop it!
HARRY: Oh, my.

1859
01:18:15.860 --> 01:18:16.980
JANE:
No!

1860
01:18:16.980 --> 01:18:18.980
Enough!

1861
01:18:18.980 --> 01:18:20.320
‐ [ both panting ]

1862
01:18:20.320 --> 01:18:25.120
‐ I put 100 hours
into that painting, and you...

1863
01:18:25.120 --> 01:18:28.370
you just destroyed it like it was nothing.

1864
01:18:30.540 --> 01:18:31.960
It was something.

1865
01:18:33.330 --> 01:18:35.840
I am something.

1866
01:18:37.090 --> 01:18:38.590
And guess what.

1867
01:18:38.590 --> 01:18:39.960
I like myself.

1868
01:18:39.960 --> 01:18:44.430
And maybe you all don't
because I'm not fancy.

1869
01:18:45.640 --> 01:18:48.850
But whether you like it or not,
I'm a part of this family,

1870
01:18:48.850 --> 01:18:51.390
and I will not be left out anymore!

1871
01:18:51.390 --> 01:18:52.690
‐ [ screaming ]
‐ No!

1872
01:18:52.690 --> 01:18:55.350
‐ [ guests gasping ]

1873
01:18:56.560 --> 01:18:57.900
‐ Stop it, girls!

1874
01:18:57.900 --> 01:18:59.900
‐ [ groaning ]
TIPPER: Stop this right now.

1875
01:18:59.900 --> 01:19:01.070
JANE:
Guys, you keep ripping it more!

1876
01:19:01.070 --> 01:19:03.530
TIPPER:
Kids, what are you doing back there?

1877
01:19:03.530 --> 01:19:06.200
MAGNUS: Playing hide‐and‐seek
like Abby and Aunt Harper.

1878
01:19:07.410 --> 01:19:09.660
‐ [ sighs, sniffles ]

1879
01:19:13.250 --> 01:19:15.250
[ footsteps approaching ]

1880
01:19:19.300 --> 01:19:21.630
[ sighs, sniffles ]

1881
01:19:22.760 --> 01:19:24.180
JOHN:
Abby?

1882
01:19:24.180 --> 01:19:25.680
‐ [ Abby groans ]

1883
01:19:29.720 --> 01:19:31.600
‐ Want to go for a walk?

1884
01:19:32.640 --> 01:19:33.890
Okay.

1885
01:19:34.940 --> 01:19:36.730
Okay.

1886
01:19:36.730 --> 01:19:38.810
Come on.

1887
01:19:38.810 --> 01:19:40.730
ABBY:
My parents loved Christmas.

1888
01:19:41.820 --> 01:19:43.150
We would do all the stuff.

1889
01:19:43.150 --> 01:19:45.450
We would decorate and...

1890
01:19:45.450 --> 01:19:47.870
do the tree and watch, like,
every Christmas movie.

1891
01:19:52.450 --> 01:19:56.210
After they died, I‐I couldn't really
bring myself to acknowledge Christmas.

1892
01:19:56.210 --> 01:19:57.750
JOHN:
Hmm.

1893
01:19:59.630 --> 01:20:03.300
‐ The holidays were just
a huge reminder of...

1894
01:20:03.300 --> 01:20:05.840
them not being here.

1895
01:20:08.010 --> 01:20:10.300
So I really thought
maybe this year with...

1896
01:20:10.300 --> 01:20:14.890
with Harper and meeting
her family, you know,

1897
01:20:14.890 --> 01:20:16.770
that it would just feel different.

1898
01:20:22.820 --> 01:20:24.490
[ sniffles ]

1899
01:20:24.490 --> 01:20:27.570
I don't‐‐ I don't think that she...

1900
01:20:27.570 --> 01:20:29.570
loves me as much as I thought she did.

1901
01:20:29.570 --> 01:20:31.240
‐ Hey.

1902
01:20:32.330 --> 01:20:37.330
Harper not coming out to her parents
has nothing to do with you.

1903
01:20:37.330 --> 01:20:40.330
‐ [ trembling ] How could it not?

1904
01:20:42.290 --> 01:20:46.090
‐ Remind me, what did your parents say
when you told them you were gay?

1905
01:20:47.300 --> 01:20:51.180
‐ Um, that they loved and supported me.

1906
01:20:52.350 --> 01:20:54.560
‐ That's amazing.

1907
01:20:57.980 --> 01:21:00.400
My dad...

1908
01:21:00.400 --> 01:21:02.230
kicked me out of the house

1909
01:21:02.230 --> 01:21:04.940
and didn't talk to me
for 13 years after I told him.

1910
01:21:06.860 --> 01:21:09.280
Everybody's story is different.

1911
01:21:10.660 --> 01:21:12.950
There's your version

1912
01:21:12.950 --> 01:21:17.000
and my version and everything in between.

1913
01:21:19.620 --> 01:21:22.920
But the one thing that
all of those stories have in common

1914
01:21:22.920 --> 01:21:27.420
is that moment
right before you say those words,

1915
01:21:27.420 --> 01:21:30.510
when your heart is racing

1916
01:21:30.510 --> 01:21:32.800
and you don't know what's coming next.

1917
01:21:35.760 --> 01:21:37.770
That moment's really terrifying.

1918
01:21:39.440 --> 01:21:41.600
And then once you say those words,

1919
01:21:41.600 --> 01:21:44.020
you can't unsay them.

1920
01:21:44.020 --> 01:21:48.400
A chapter has ended,
and a new one's begun,

1921
01:21:48.400 --> 01:21:52.570
and you have to be ready for that.

1922
01:21:52.570 --> 01:21:54.780
You can't do it for anyone else.

1923
01:21:56.700 --> 01:21:59.620
Just because Harper isn't ready,

1924
01:21:59.620 --> 01:22:02.170
it doesn't mean she never will be,

1925
01:22:02.170 --> 01:22:04.080
and it doesn't mean she doesn't love you.

1926
01:22:04.080 --> 01:22:05.750
‐ [ sniffles ]

1927
01:22:08.340 --> 01:22:09.880
[ sniffles ]

1928
01:22:09.880 --> 01:22:13.430
I‐I want to be with someone who is ready.

1929
01:22:13.430 --> 01:22:15.350
‐ Mm.

1930
01:22:28.030 --> 01:22:30.570
You look great in this coat.

1931
01:22:30.570 --> 01:22:32.490
GUEST: Merry Christmas. Thank you.
SLOANE: Thank you.

1932
01:22:32.490 --> 01:22:35.070
‐ [ quiet chatter ]

1933
01:22:36.120 --> 01:22:37.870
RILEY:
Just wait for me in the car.

1934
01:22:44.460 --> 01:22:45.670
Great party.

1935
01:22:46.710 --> 01:22:48.300
‐ Yeah.

1936
01:22:48.300 --> 01:22:49.420
‐ You okay?

1937
01:22:53.050 --> 01:22:54.890
‐ I'm so sorry.

1938
01:22:57.100 --> 01:22:58.970
‐ [ sighs ]

1939
01:23:02.100 --> 01:23:04.270
Merry Christmas.

1940
01:23:05.850 --> 01:23:07.610
‐ Merry Christmas.

1941
01:23:12.530 --> 01:23:14.360
‐ She's a really good one.

1942
01:23:14.360 --> 01:23:16.200
‐ [ chuckles ] Yeah.

1943
01:23:20.240 --> 01:23:21.450
‐ Riley.
‐ Sloane.

1944
01:23:27.630 --> 01:23:29.500
‐ I'm sorry.

1945
01:23:30.710 --> 01:23:32.880
Okay, come on. Let's get you two to bed.

1946
01:23:34.970 --> 01:23:37.220
‐ Thank you, Ms. Levin, for coming,

1947
01:23:37.220 --> 01:23:41.470
and again, my apologies for the spectacle.

1948
01:23:41.470 --> 01:23:43.230
‐ I'll call you.

1949
01:23:50.440 --> 01:23:52.440
‐ What the hell happened tonight?

1950
01:23:52.440 --> 01:23:54.950
Even as children,
you never behaved this badly.

1951
01:23:54.950 --> 01:23:57.870
I expected more from you,
especially you, Harper.

1952
01:23:57.870 --> 01:23:59.910
You know how this world works.

1953
01:23:59.910 --> 01:24:04.330
Reputation is everything,
and tonight you jeopardized mine.

1954
01:24:04.330 --> 01:24:07.170
Jane, I know you‐you just
wanted to be included.

1955
01:24:07.170 --> 01:24:08.460
‐ It was really nice.

1956
01:24:08.460 --> 01:24:12.420
‐ Sloane, making up lies
about your sister.

1957
01:24:12.420 --> 01:24:13.800
You're better than that.

1958
01:24:13.800 --> 01:24:16.260
At least you used to be.

1959
01:24:18.840 --> 01:24:20.970
‐ Sorry, I'm‐I'm just getting my stuff.

1960
01:24:20.970 --> 01:24:23.060
‐ Wait, Abby.

1961
01:24:23.060 --> 01:24:24.680
Wait.

1962
01:24:25.890 --> 01:24:27.140
[ sighs ]

1963
01:24:27.140 --> 01:24:29.150
Sloane wasn't lying.

1964
01:24:30.730 --> 01:24:32.230
I'm gay.

1965
01:24:36.820 --> 01:24:39.740
And I am in love with Abby.

1966
01:24:41.950 --> 01:24:43.950
I'm sorry I didn't tell you guys sooner,

1967
01:24:43.950 --> 01:24:47.500
but I know how much appearances
and reputation matter to you,

1968
01:24:47.500 --> 01:24:50.790
and me being gay just didn't...

1969
01:24:50.790 --> 01:24:53.210
fit into the plan.

1970
01:24:53.210 --> 01:24:57.130
But I...

1971
01:24:57.130 --> 01:25:00.340
let myself hurt Riley...

1972
01:25:02.140 --> 01:25:05.140
...because I was so scared
that you would find out

1973
01:25:05.140 --> 01:25:07.390
I wasn't who you wanted me to be.

1974
01:25:08.480 --> 01:25:10.270
And...

1975
01:25:10.270 --> 01:25:12.860
I still regret it.

1976
01:25:14.150 --> 01:25:17.860
I can't do that to Abby... [ chuckles ]

1977
01:25:19.910 --> 01:25:21.700
[ crying ] ...and throw away...

1978
01:25:23.080 --> 01:25:24.660
...our life together.

1979
01:25:27.620 --> 01:25:32.380
So I am done being scared,

1980
01:25:32.380 --> 01:25:34.880
and I am done keeping secrets.

1981
01:25:37.050 --> 01:25:38.800
I love you.

1982
01:26:03.030 --> 01:26:05.450
‐ Eric and I are getting a divorce.

1983
01:26:06.700 --> 01:26:09.660
We separated a few months ago.

1984
01:26:10.910 --> 01:26:12.960
And the truth is I didn't tell you

1985
01:26:12.960 --> 01:26:15.210
because without my family
I'm worthless to you.

1986
01:26:16.880 --> 01:26:22.130
We've spent our entire lives
trying to earn your love,

1987
01:26:22.130 --> 01:26:24.140
and I'm done, too.

1988
01:26:30.850 --> 01:26:34.350
‐ I don't have any secrets,
but I am an ally.

1989
01:26:43.530 --> 01:26:44.950
[ distant door closes ]

1990
01:26:49.040 --> 01:26:51.580
‐ I'm gonna go.

1991
01:26:51.580 --> 01:26:54.170
‐ Wait. No, no.

1992
01:26:54.170 --> 01:26:56.170
[ sighing ]

1993
01:26:57.960 --> 01:26:59.880
I did it.

1994
01:27:00.880 --> 01:27:02.590
‐ Mm‐hmm.

1995
01:27:04.300 --> 01:27:06.850
I'm sorry.

1996
01:27:06.850 --> 01:27:09.470
Uh, it's just too late.

1997
01:27:26.410 --> 01:27:28.410
‐ [ sobs softly ]

1998
01:27:48.680 --> 01:27:50.680
‐ [ takes deep breath ]

1999
01:27:52.600 --> 01:27:56.730
I have always wanted to try karate,

2000
01:27:56.730 --> 01:27:58.730
even though I know it's not elegant.

2001
01:27:58.730 --> 01:28:01.020
I hate flowers.

2002
01:28:01.020 --> 01:28:02.690
‐ I see what you're doing.

2003
01:28:02.690 --> 01:28:07.360
‐ We have been so worried
about seeming perfect.

2004
01:28:09.030 --> 01:28:13.000
But maybe we don't even know
what perfect is.

2005
01:28:14.040 --> 01:28:16.370
We have one daughter

2006
01:28:16.370 --> 01:28:20.380
who has been unhappy in a marriage
and felt like she couldn't tell us,

2007
01:28:20.380 --> 01:28:23.670
and another daughter who...

2008
01:28:23.670 --> 01:28:27.340
[ crying ] just had her heart broken

2009
01:28:27.340 --> 01:28:30.260
because she was afraid

2010
01:28:30.260 --> 01:28:33.020
we wouldn't love her
if she told us the truth.

2011
01:28:33.020 --> 01:28:35.020
And... [ sniffles ]

2012
01:28:35.020 --> 01:28:38.650
the only reason that Jane is okay
is because we gave up on her

2013
01:28:38.650 --> 01:28:41.060
after she wouldn't stop
biting in preschool.

2014
01:28:41.060 --> 01:28:43.110
[ takes deep, gasping breath ]

2015
01:28:43.110 --> 01:28:45.190
That is...

2016
01:28:45.190 --> 01:28:49.410
very far from perfect, if you ask me.

2017
01:28:57.080 --> 01:28:59.000
‐ Thanks.

2018
01:28:59.000 --> 01:29:01.170
‐ I'm really sorry.

2019
01:29:01.170 --> 01:29:02.670
‐ I know.

2020
01:29:02.670 --> 01:29:04.420
Me, too.

2021
01:29:05.800 --> 01:29:08.180
And, Jane, I...

2022
01:29:08.180 --> 01:29:11.640
I'm so sorry about your painting.

2023
01:29:11.640 --> 01:29:13.430
It was really beautiful.

2024
01:29:13.430 --> 01:29:15.680
‐ It was.

2025
01:29:15.680 --> 01:29:17.850
‐ Thanks, guys.

2026
01:29:23.690 --> 01:29:26.690
‐ He just needs a little time.

2027
01:29:31.320 --> 01:29:33.950
JOHN:
Okay, listen to these ingredients:

2028
01:29:33.950 --> 01:29:35.290
maltodextrin,

2029
01:29:35.290 --> 01:29:38.000
autolyzed yeast extract,

2030
01:29:38.000 --> 01:29:40.870
artificial colors‐‐ Red 40 Lake,

2031
01:29:40.870 --> 01:29:44.130
Yellow 6 Lake, Yellow 6, Yellow 5.

2032
01:29:44.130 --> 01:29:46.840
Because all of the yellows
taste so different.

2033
01:29:46.840 --> 01:29:49.590
You know, I am disgusted at the poison

2034
01:29:49.590 --> 01:29:52.390
these corporations
try to pass off as food.

2035
01:29:54.220 --> 01:29:56.100
‐ Who's watching the animals?

2036
01:29:56.100 --> 01:29:58.310
‐ My therapist is taking care of them,
but we should have

2037
01:29:58.310 --> 01:30:01.270
a conversation about the fish
at some point.

2038
01:30:02.560 --> 01:30:04.730
‐ What happened to the fish?

2039
01:30:06.860 --> 01:30:08.860
‐ Let's look at gum.

2040
01:30:12.950 --> 01:30:15.160
Okay, so I just want to
preface this by saying that

2041
01:30:15.160 --> 01:30:17.080
nobody would disagree
that fish belong in the ocean.

2042
01:30:17.080 --> 01:30:18.580
Correct?
[ horn honking ]

2043
01:30:21.210 --> 01:30:23.040
‐ Abby.

2044
01:30:23.040 --> 01:30:24.540
‐ H‐How did you even‐‐

2045
01:30:24.540 --> 01:30:27.000
‐ I tracked you. John taught me.

2046
01:30:27.000 --> 01:30:28.460
‐ I just want to go home.

2047
01:30:28.460 --> 01:30:30.760
HARPER:
I know. I just‐‐

2048
01:30:30.760 --> 01:30:33.140
Please, let me say this.

2049
01:30:34.180 --> 01:30:36.430
You are my family.

2050
01:30:36.430 --> 01:30:40.430
I mean, you are the love of my life.

2051
01:30:40.430 --> 01:30:41.980
I was terrible.

2052
01:30:41.980 --> 01:30:44.440
And‐and I wish that
I could undo everything,

2053
01:30:44.440 --> 01:30:46.820
but I promise you
I will make it up to you.

2054
01:30:46.820 --> 01:30:50.190
I will spend the rest of my life
making it up to you.

2055
01:30:50.190 --> 01:30:52.860
And I won't hurt you like this again.

2056
01:30:54.990 --> 01:30:57.620
But please...

2057
01:30:57.620 --> 01:30:59.450
give me another chance.

2058
01:30:59.450 --> 01:31:01.910
I‐I want to build a life with you.

2059
01:31:03.960 --> 01:31:05.790
Please.

2060
01:31:07.790 --> 01:31:09.380
‐ And what about your parents? I‐‐

2061
01:31:09.380 --> 01:31:11.420
‐ No, no, I...

2062
01:31:11.420 --> 01:31:14.130
I don't care what they think.

2063
01:31:14.130 --> 01:31:16.510
I only care about you.

2064
01:31:17.850 --> 01:31:20.470
If I have you, that's all I need.

2065
01:31:22.770 --> 01:31:24.480
Be with me.

2066
01:31:31.110 --> 01:31:33.610
♪ uplifting music ♪

2067
01:31:35.410 --> 01:31:37.120
‐ [ chuckles ]

2068
01:31:52.550 --> 01:31:54.340
♪ upbeat holiday music ♪

2069
01:31:54.340 --> 01:31:55.760
JANE:
So, the Shadow Dreamers

2070
01:31:55.760 --> 01:31:58.220
were compelled to rise up against Flanks.

2071
01:31:58.220 --> 01:32:00.390
JOHN: Because of the blatant
Thorfian rights violations.

2072
01:32:00.390 --> 01:32:01.770
‐ Exactly.

2073
01:32:01.770 --> 01:32:02.850
‐ Good morning.

2074
01:32:02.850 --> 01:32:04.140
‐ Hey, morning. Merry Christmas.
‐ Hi.

2075
01:32:04.140 --> 01:32:06.100
‐ Morning.
HARPER: Hey, Mom.

2076
01:32:06.100 --> 01:32:07.980
‐ Hi.
‐ Hi.

2077
01:32:07.980 --> 01:32:09.190
ABBY:
How'd you sleep?

2078
01:32:09.190 --> 01:32:11.150
‐ Did he come down?

2079
01:32:11.150 --> 01:32:12.900
‐ No, not yet.

2080
01:32:12.900 --> 01:32:14.320
SLOANE:
Everyone.

2081
01:32:14.320 --> 01:32:15.530
Go ahead, kids.

2082
01:32:15.530 --> 01:32:18.320
‐ We put the necklace in Abby's bag.

2083
01:32:18.320 --> 01:32:19.950
MAGNUS:
We're sorry.

2084
01:32:19.950 --> 01:32:21.280
‐ Thank you.

2085
01:32:21.280 --> 01:32:23.370
‐ Can we open our stockings now?

2086
01:32:23.370 --> 01:32:25.210
‐ Yes.
‐ Let's go.

2087
01:32:25.210 --> 01:32:27.290
[ footsteps approaching ]

2088
01:32:33.880 --> 01:32:38.220
‐ Uh, I have sunk
almost all of our savings

2089
01:32:38.220 --> 01:32:40.220
into this campaign.

2090
01:32:40.220 --> 01:32:44.020
Because I thought, if I won,

2091
01:32:44.020 --> 01:32:46.020
you'd all be proud of me.

2092
01:32:46.020 --> 01:32:48.100
‐ We're already proud of you.

2093
01:32:48.100 --> 01:32:50.360
‐ We don't care if you win.

2094
01:32:50.360 --> 01:32:51.520
‐ Yeah.

2095
01:32:51.520 --> 01:32:53.440
And the money doesn't matter.

2096
01:32:53.440 --> 01:32:56.030
When I sell my book,
I'll take care of all of us.

2097
01:32:59.410 --> 01:33:02.200
‐ I love you, girls.

2098
01:33:02.200 --> 01:33:05.000
And I'm sorry for making you think

2099
01:33:05.000 --> 01:33:08.080
that anything could ever
get in the way of that.

2100
01:33:09.080 --> 01:33:10.750
I want to do better,

2101
01:33:10.750 --> 01:33:14.050
and it will take time,
but all I want for you

2102
01:33:14.050 --> 01:33:16.170
is to find the same joy and happiness

2103
01:33:16.170 --> 01:33:20.800
that you have given me,
no matter where it comes from.

2104
01:33:20.800 --> 01:33:22.800
‐ [ Tipper chuckling ]

2105
01:33:24.890 --> 01:33:26.680
JANE:
Aw.

2106
01:33:26.680 --> 01:33:29.560
TED: Mm.
‐ [ women laughing ]

2107
01:33:29.560 --> 01:33:32.650
[ "O Holy Night" instrumental playing ]

2108
01:33:41.410 --> 01:33:42.820
‐ Whoa!

2109
01:33:42.820 --> 01:33:44.120
‐ Smile.

2110
01:33:44.120 --> 01:33:45.490
Smile.

2111
01:33:45.490 --> 01:33:46.790
‐ Aw.
[ camera clicks ]

2112
01:33:46.790 --> 01:33:48.830
‐ You didn't think I knew
how to do that, did you?

2113
01:33:48.830 --> 01:33:49.830
‐ I‐‐ It's impressive.

2114
01:33:49.830 --> 01:33:51.750
♪ ♪

2115
01:34:07.350 --> 01:34:09.140
‐ Hello?
HARRY: Merry Christmas, Ted.

2116
01:34:09.140 --> 01:34:10.730
‐ Merry‐‐
HARRY: I'll get right to it.

2117
01:34:10.730 --> 01:34:13.270
I like you. I think you can win, too,

2118
01:34:13.270 --> 01:34:15.230
and not just this election.

2119
01:34:15.230 --> 01:34:17.610
‐ Thank you, Ms. Levin.
HARRY: Hold on. There's an "if."

2120
01:34:17.610 --> 01:34:21.320
Now, I don't know if Sloane's
revelation last night was true,

2121
01:34:21.320 --> 01:34:23.530
but if it is... [ sighs ]

2122
01:34:23.530 --> 01:34:27.200
and Harper can adopt
a "don't ask, don't tell" policy

2123
01:34:27.200 --> 01:34:29.870
regarding her private life,

2124
01:34:29.870 --> 01:34:31.660
I think we could be in business.

2125
01:34:31.660 --> 01:34:33.670
What do you say?

2126
01:34:45.720 --> 01:34:47.310
‐ Well?

2127
01:34:47.310 --> 01:34:49.270
‐ It's not gonna work out.

2128
01:34:50.310 --> 01:34:51.560
‐ Oh.

2129
01:34:51.560 --> 01:34:53.230
‐ We'll figure something out.

2130
01:34:57.770 --> 01:34:59.570
TIPPER:
Great, so‐‐ Wait, come over here.

2131
01:34:59.570 --> 01:35:01.900
TED: Okay. Where am I? Here?
TIPPER: You move there.

2132
01:35:01.900 --> 01:35:04.070
TED: Yeah, okay. Okay.
TIPPER: Hi, honey. Right.

2133
01:35:04.070 --> 01:35:06.120
Um, Jane, you get in the middle.

2134
01:35:06.120 --> 01:35:07.120
‐ Yeah.

2135
01:35:08.160 --> 01:35:09.580
‐ [ chuckling ]
‐ Right there.

2136
01:35:09.580 --> 01:35:11.330
TIPPER:
John, would you mind?

2137
01:35:11.330 --> 01:35:13.420
‐ Oh, I would be delighted.

2138
01:35:13.420 --> 01:35:15.540
Okay.

2139
01:35:15.540 --> 01:35:17.880
‐ Abby, what are you doing way over there?

2140
01:35:17.880 --> 01:35:19.500
Get in here.
‐ Come on.

2141
01:35:19.500 --> 01:35:21.670
‐ [ laughter ]

2142
01:35:23.930 --> 01:35:26.300
‐ Okay. Everyone say, "Christmas."

2143
01:35:26.300 --> 01:35:28.180
‐ No, don't say that.
‐ [ Abby laughs ]

2144
01:35:28.180 --> 01:35:30.770
[ "Make You Mine This Season"
by Tegan and Sara playing ]

2145
01:35:30.770 --> 01:35:31.850
[ camera clicks ]

2146
01:35:31.850 --> 01:35:35.270
♪ Somebody broke your heart ♪

2147
01:35:35.270 --> 01:35:38.020
♪ Under a Christmas tree... ♪

2148
01:35:38.020 --> 01:35:40.070
JANE:
"Once they cross Corvall Chasm,

2149
01:35:40.070 --> 01:35:42.240
"they will enter floam territory.

2150
01:35:42.240 --> 01:35:45.660
"The Shadow Dreamers know
they might not all make it out

2151
01:35:45.660 --> 01:35:47.450
"with their Krindoll intact,

2152
01:35:47.450 --> 01:35:51.490
"but the entire Thorfian race
rests on their shoulders.

2153
01:35:51.490 --> 01:35:56.000
"They look to each other
and then into the darkness.

2154
01:35:56.000 --> 01:35:59.460
It is Glank who takes the first step."

2155
01:35:59.460 --> 01:36:01.840
‐ [ cheering ]

2156
01:36:07.550 --> 01:36:09.350
‐ Here you go.
Thank you so much for coming.

2157
01:36:09.350 --> 01:36:10.390
MAN:
Thank you.

2158
01:36:10.390 --> 01:36:11.970
JANE: Bye.
‐ Hi.

2159
01:36:11.970 --> 01:36:13.140
JANE: Hi.
‐ We'll meet you there?

2160
01:36:13.140 --> 01:36:14.140
‐ Yes. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

2161
01:36:14.140 --> 01:36:15.140
‐ Okay.
‐ Yeah, you bet.

2162
01:36:15.140 --> 01:36:16.350
‐ That was awesome.
‐ Bye.

2163
01:36:16.350 --> 01:36:17.400
‐ Hi.
‐ Hi.

2164
01:36:17.400 --> 01:36:18.560
‐ Oh. Two at a time.
‐ Oh.

2165
01:36:18.560 --> 01:36:19.770
‐ Aah!
‐ Oh, my word.
‐ It's an onslaught.

2166
01:36:19.770 --> 01:36:21.070
♪ ♪

2167
01:36:21.070 --> 01:36:24.280
♪ Make you mine,
make you mine this season ♪

2168
01:36:24.280 --> 01:36:27.780
♪ Bells ring out on the street ♪

2169
01:36:27.780 --> 01:36:29.910
♪ Snow falling at our feet ♪

2170
01:36:29.910 --> 01:36:31.780
‐ [ indistinct chatter ]

2171
01:36:31.780 --> 01:36:34.250
♪ Lights glowing in the trees ♪

2172
01:36:35.540 --> 01:36:37.670
♪ Will you dance with me? ♪

2173
01:36:37.670 --> 01:36:41.670
♪ Have I been good enough ♪
‐ [ Sloane laughs ]

2174
01:36:41.670 --> 01:36:45.760
♪ To ask for your love? ♪

2175
01:36:48.680 --> 01:36:52.310
♪ You're the only girl
I've got on my list ♪

2176
01:36:52.310 --> 01:36:55.680
♪ I write your name, I know it's foolish ♪

2177
01:36:55.680 --> 01:36:59.900
♪ But I chase the feeling
'cause you keep me dreaming ♪

2178
01:36:59.900 --> 01:37:03.940
♪ That I could make you mine,
make you mine this season ♪

2179
01:37:03.940 --> 01:37:06.820
♪ I put a star on the top of my tree ♪

2180
01:37:06.820 --> 01:37:10.660
♪ I just want to make you mine ♪

2181
01:37:10.660 --> 01:37:14.080
♪ Its light is gonna lead you
straight to me ♪

2182
01:37:14.080 --> 01:37:17.710
♪ I just want to make you mine. ♪

2183
01:37:22.380 --> 01:37:24.380
[ song fades ]
[ "Think of Christmas"
by Anne‐Marie begins ]

2184
01:37:24.380 --> 01:37:28.550
♪ When I think of Christmas ♪

2185
01:37:28.550 --> 01:37:30.760
♪ I think of you ♪

2186
01:37:41.440 --> 01:37:44.190
♪ Remember the snow angels ♪

2187
01:37:44.190 --> 01:37:46.570
♪ Unorthodox anecdotes ♪

2188
01:37:46.570 --> 01:37:49.400
♪ About how it's never home ♪

2189
01:37:49.400 --> 01:37:52.120
♪ Hmm, unless you're here ♪

2190
01:37:52.120 --> 01:37:54.780
♪ Don't matter how deep the snow ♪

2191
01:37:54.780 --> 01:37:57.500
♪ Don't matter how cold it goes ♪

2192
01:37:57.500 --> 01:38:00.000
♪ I've already made it home ♪

2193
01:38:00.000 --> 01:38:02.330
♪ Hmm, because you're here ♪

2194
01:38:02.330 --> 01:38:05.130
♪ Still at the kids' table
even though we're grown ♪

2195
01:38:05.130 --> 01:38:07.800
♪ Hands on my kneecap
underneath the table ♪

2196
01:38:07.800 --> 01:38:10.630
♪ We got a secret only you and me know ♪

2197
01:38:10.630 --> 01:38:12.930
♪ But they know 'cause ♪

2198
01:38:12.930 --> 01:38:16.100
♪ A love like ours comes
with the brightest of halos ♪

2199
01:38:16.100 --> 01:38:17.520
♪ Yeah, they know ♪

2200
01:38:17.520 --> 01:38:22.020
♪ That when I think of Christmas ♪

2201
01:38:22.020 --> 01:38:25.650
♪ I think of you and me
and a classic kiss ♪

2202
01:38:25.650 --> 01:38:28.570
♪ Modern love is what it is ♪

2203
01:38:28.570 --> 01:38:32.570
♪ When I think of Christmas ♪

2204
01:38:32.570 --> 01:38:35.950
♪ I think of nothing more, nothing to do ♪

2205
01:38:35.950 --> 01:38:38.910
♪ Unwrap myself in front of you ♪

2206
01:38:38.910 --> 01:38:43.210
♪ When I think of Christmas ♪

2207
01:38:43.210 --> 01:38:45.500
♪ I think of you ♪

2208
01:38:48.590 --> 01:38:50.970
♪ I think of you ♪

2209
01:38:56.140 --> 01:38:58.810
♪ Rewriting my memories ♪

2210
01:38:58.810 --> 01:39:01.230
♪ Creating new history ♪

2211
01:39:01.230 --> 01:39:04.060
♪ And the season feels new to me ♪

2212
01:39:04.060 --> 01:39:06.360
♪ Huh, because you're here ♪

2213
01:39:06.360 --> 01:39:09.110
♪ Still at the kids' table
even though we're grown ♪

2214
01:39:09.110 --> 01:39:11.820
♪ Hands on my kneecap
underneath the table ♪

2215
01:39:11.820 --> 01:39:14.910
♪ We got a secret only you and me know ♪

2216
01:39:14.910 --> 01:39:16.950
♪ But they know 'cause ♪

2217
01:39:16.950 --> 01:39:20.120
♪ A love like ours comes
with the brightest of halos ♪

2218
01:39:20.120 --> 01:39:21.450
♪ Yeah, they know ♪

2219
01:39:21.450 --> 01:39:26.000
♪ That when I think of Christmas ♪

2220
01:39:26.000 --> 01:39:29.670
♪ I think of you and me
and a classic kiss ♪

2221
01:39:29.670 --> 01:39:32.550
♪ Modern love is what it is ♪

2222
01:39:32.550 --> 01:39:36.470
♪ When I think of Christmas ♪

2223
01:39:36.470 --> 01:39:40.100
♪ I think of nothing more, nothing to do ♪

2224
01:39:40.100 --> 01:39:42.980
♪ Unwrap myself in front of you ♪

2225
01:39:42.980 --> 01:39:47.310
♪ When I think of Christmas ♪

2226
01:39:47.310 --> 01:39:49.690
♪ I think of you ♪

2227
01:39:52.780 --> 01:39:55.240
♪ I think of you ♪

2228
01:39:58.200 --> 01:40:00.660
♪ I think of you ♪

2229
01:40:04.580 --> 01:40:08.790
♪ When I think of Christmas ♪

2230
01:40:08.790 --> 01:40:11.210
♪ I think of you. ♪
[ song ends ]

2231
01:40:11.210 --> 01:40:13.210
♪ joyous holiday music ♪

2232
01:40:43.240 --> 01:40:45.250
♪ ♪

2233
01:41:04.220 --> 01:41:06.230
[ "Jingle Bells" instrumental plays ]

2234
01:41:36.260 --> 01:41:38.260
♪ ♪

2235
01:41:41.090 --> 01:41:43.100
[ music ends ]