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Downloaded from
YTS.MX

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Official YIFY movies site:
YTS.MX

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‎NETFLIX 出品

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‎節日真他媽的煩

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‎聖誕快樂

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‎妳穿這樣吃聖誕大餐？

7
00:00:44,000 --> 00:00:46,000
‎連件洋裝都沒有嗎？

8
00:00:46,083 --> 00:00:47,666
‎我很好，老媽，謝啦

9
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‎房子裝飾得真漂亮

10
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‎妳的蘇珊阿姨
‎把賣場的聖誕老人帶回家了

11
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‎還有妳外甥剛在馬槽便便了

12
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‎才大一點點

13
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‎何況他還先把耶穌寶寶移開

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‎-妳好
‎-妳好

15
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‎聖誕快樂

16
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‎要來片精靈薑餅嗎？

17
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‎-真怪
‎-聽我說

18
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‎羅德尼說妳沒打給他

19
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‎不好意思，我沒辦法跟職業小丑約會

20
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‎我會睡不著

21
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‎真是的，絲隆
‎都六個月了，妳要重新出發

22
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‎她整天穿睡衣坐在家裡

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‎怎麼可能認識新對象？

24
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‎這叫遠距工作，媽

25
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‎只要我達標
‎老闆不會管我穿什麼上班

26
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‎他倒是有要求我
‎別在上班時間跟我媽視訊

27
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‎妳不會還在抽煙吧？

28
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‎沒有，媽，我沒抽煙了

29
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‎是我剛搭的優步司機抽的

30
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‎我知道過年過節壓力很大

31
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‎但是沒人想娶抽煙…

32
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‎又說謊的女生

33
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‎也沒人想要囉唆的岳母

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‎看來這是三振出局了

35
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‎看到我姊孤伶伶出現
‎就知道要過節了

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‎-別火上加油，她還很難過
‎-別鬧了

37
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‎我才沒有難過

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‎是嗎？妳一臉難過的樣子

39
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‎我沒有難過

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‎搞定，馬槽消毒好了

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‎絲隆

42
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‎妳沒打給羅德尼？

43
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‎他很棒吧？

44
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‎我在賣場認識的

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‎在賣場認識的男性
‎優秀到讓妳不敢相信

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‎我大概遇不到吧

47
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‎別緊張

48
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‎又不是要嫁給他

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‎他只是我的節日情人

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‎“節日情人”？

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‎專門過節用的情人

52
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‎不用許下承諾

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‎要我問他有沒有朋友嗎？

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‎（洛根廣場）

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‎（芝加哥）

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‎（艾凡斯頓）

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‎別緊張，他們會愛死你的

58
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‎妳父母知道這是我們第三次約會吧？

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‎這真的沒什麼大不了

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‎他們大概不曉得你會過來

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‎-你們好，聖誕快樂
‎-聖誕快樂

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‎想必你就是傑克森

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‎你本人比照片還帥

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‎照片？

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‎這是她第一次坐在聖誕老人腿上

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‎結果她尿在聖誕老人的腿上

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‎第一次芭蕾獨舞表演，再來是…

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‎這是她初次來潮的那一天

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‎真有意思

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‎還有這個…

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‎是小小艾凡斯頓小姐選拔

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‎先跟你說

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‎我跟卡莉的父親完全不在意

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‎你倆同睡一間房

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‎不了，沒關係

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‎我不會留下來過夜

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‎胡說八道

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‎我們把你當家人看

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‎靠，哪有？

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‎-絲隆
‎-怎樣？

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‎成熟一點，桌子可以加長

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‎不了，我想坐單身桌

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‎小鬼頭，來看禮物吧

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‎快點，走吧

85
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‎所以…

86
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‎絲隆阿姨，妳幹嘛不打給羅德尼？

87
00:04:27,041 --> 00:04:29,041
‎那妳怎麼不打給羅德尼？

88
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‎因為我有男友了

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‎他叫李維

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‎他每天下課都會分我喝果汁

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‎這樣很好，黛西

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‎趁感情甜蜜時好好享受

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‎因為總有一天妳一走出去

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‎會發現李維把果汁分給

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‎在星巴克上班，名叫“彩虹”的咖啡師

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‎對，這樣的日子不好過，黛西

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‎讓人心痛

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‎但會讓妳更堅強

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‎接下來妳會發現

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‎自己快要年過30

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‎坐在兒童桌，喝烈酒來麻醉傷痛

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‎讚啦，我爸媽超愛你

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‎妳有毛病嗎？妳跟他們說…

104
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‎-妳跟妳爸媽說我們在一起
‎-少來了

105
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‎你也知道自己喜歡我

106
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‎要是對我沒有意思

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‎怎麼會在重大節日來我家

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‎聲控燈？

109
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‎我說過我父母人在澳洲

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‎又沒有其他…

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‎計畫

112
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‎原來…

113
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‎-是睡衣
‎-是的

114
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‎我覺得這套可愛又舒服
‎適合在閨蜜之夜穿…

115
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‎原來…

116
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‎-是褲子
‎-是卡其褲

117
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‎高爾夫球選手都喜歡卡其褲吧？

118
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‎我不曉得尺寸，反正我買了三號
‎你可以拿去換

119
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‎褲子…

120
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‎還有計畫

121
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‎謝啦

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‎對不起，我真的…

123
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‎沒想到我們要交換禮物

124
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‎你怎麼會有這種想法？

125
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‎因為妳說我們沒有要交換禮物

126
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‎原來你跟我熟到可以射在我嘴裡

127
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‎可是卻沒有熟到可以送我聖誕禮物？

128
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‎我可以給妳現金，我身上有…

129
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‎我有多少錢？40元？

130
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‎40元？

131
00:06:36,375 --> 00:06:37,750
‎你把我當妓女？

132
00:06:38,583 --> 00:06:40,000
‎不是，天啊，我沒有

133
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‎絕對不是，妳這…

134
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‎80塊錢才行

135
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‎我才不要給妳80塊錢

136
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‎但我們做過愛了，傑克森，兩次

137
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‎我不敢相信
‎你居然沒買聖誕節禮物給我

138
00:06:54,291 --> 00:06:55,583
‎我才不敢相信

139
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‎妳在妳爸媽面前挖洞給我跳

140
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‎不對，我可以

141
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‎因為女生都會在過節時發瘋

142
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‎很美好的夜晚，兩位，晚餐很好吃
‎祝你們聖誕節快樂

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‎再見

144
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‎麻煩大家注意我這邊

145
00:07:24,291 --> 00:07:25,875
‎我有話要說

146
00:07:26,250 --> 00:07:27,500
‎誰想吃甜點？

147
00:07:32,833 --> 00:07:34,166
‎伊莉莎白金柏莉陳

148
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‎靠，不會吧

149
00:07:36,833 --> 00:07:38,833
‎我知道我們才交往三個月

150
00:07:38,916 --> 00:07:40,333
‎又六個美好的日子

151
00:07:40,916 --> 00:07:43,250
‎但我好像認識妳一輩子了

152
00:07:43,875 --> 00:07:46,125
‎妳是否願意
‎讓我成為全世界最幸福的男人

153
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‎嫁給我好嗎？

154
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‎天啊

155
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‎我願意

156
00:07:50,625 --> 00:07:51,708
‎我願意嫁給你

157
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‎-兩個死會，剩一個
‎-恭喜

158
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‎-史上最棒的聖誕節
‎-太棒了

159
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‎天啊，這還真是…好極了

160
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‎我弟要結婚了

161
00:08:06,958 --> 00:08:08,000
‎我真的…

162
00:08:09,250 --> 00:08:10,875
‎好愛這套睡衣

163
00:08:14,250 --> 00:08:16,333
‎-怎麼這麼慢？
‎-太扯了啦

164
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‎-我排一整天了
‎-我排了一個半小時

165
00:08:19,250 --> 00:08:21,375
‎-拜託妳
‎-抱歉，沒有禮物收據

166
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‎我只能提供你消費抵用金

167
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‎我不要消費抵用金

168
00:08:25,791 --> 00:08:28,166
‎我不想再來這間店

169
00:08:28,250 --> 00:08:31,833
‎我們有些蠻帥氣的衣物
‎你有試穿率性緊身牛仔褲嗎？

170
00:08:32,250 --> 00:08:33,333
‎不好意思

171
00:08:34,666 --> 00:08:35,916
‎鱷魚先生

172
00:08:36,000 --> 00:08:37,708
‎我們還有工作

173
00:08:37,791 --> 00:08:39,041
‎“先省”，這發音才對

174
00:08:39,875 --> 00:08:42,291
‎等一下，妳從哪看出我沒有工作？

175
00:08:43,250 --> 00:08:45,125
‎你週三來賣場

176
00:08:45,208 --> 00:08:46,708
‎退魯蛇才會穿的褲子

177
00:08:47,333 --> 00:08:49,541
‎這是卡其褲

178
00:08:49,916 --> 00:08:52,125
‎很多有工作的人都會穿卡其褲

179
00:08:52,583 --> 00:08:55,250
‎希望有人聽得懂你說話
‎隨便你怎麼說

180
00:08:55,708 --> 00:08:57,833
‎妳好，我只要退貨

181
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‎小姐

182
00:08:59,208 --> 00:09:01,125
‎-有收據嗎？
‎-我沒拿到收據

183
00:09:01,208 --> 00:09:03,666
‎有人以為我會一輩子當剩女

184
00:09:03,750 --> 00:09:07,416
‎然後把自己吃成大肥豬

185
00:09:07,500 --> 00:09:08,750
‎沒說錯

186
00:09:10,500 --> 00:09:13,375
‎我的聖誕節已經慘到不行

187
00:09:13,458 --> 00:09:16,125
‎要贊同就去別的地方

188
00:09:16,208 --> 00:09:17,833
‎我先去問一下

189
00:09:21,208 --> 00:09:24,916
‎我出40元買你的卡其褲
‎還有新鮮蝴蝶餅的買一送一券

190
00:09:25,000 --> 00:09:27,666
‎這條褲子大概有80塊錢吧

191
00:09:27,750 --> 00:09:28,583
‎妳想得美

192
00:09:32,833 --> 00:09:34,750
‎希望這樣有安慰到妳

193
00:09:35,291 --> 00:09:38,291
‎我穿著醜到不行的聖誕節毛衣

194
00:09:38,791 --> 00:09:42,375
‎喝無酒精雞尾酒
‎還跟一群邪教般的人士共處一室

195
00:09:43,541 --> 00:09:45,500
‎我可以贏過你的醜聖誕毛衣

196
00:09:45,583 --> 00:09:48,125
‎再加上坐在兒童桌

197
00:09:48,208 --> 00:09:49,958
‎我弟弟在當天訂婚

198
00:09:50,041 --> 00:09:52,958
‎還撞見賣場聖誕老人幫我阿姨舔鮑鮑

199
00:09:53,041 --> 00:09:55,625
‎這…好歡樂的畫面

200
00:09:56,125 --> 00:09:58,125
‎跟爛刺青一樣烙印在我腦海裡

201
00:09:58,208 --> 00:09:59,541
‎我也有爛刺青

202
00:10:04,125 --> 00:10:06,208
‎那是…馬特勞爾嗎？

203
00:10:06,791 --> 00:10:08,916
‎我以前很愛看《今日秀》

204
00:10:10,083 --> 00:10:12,291
‎抱歉，這是兩季前的產品

205
00:10:13,083 --> 00:10:15,375
‎我可以提供妳消費抵用金

206
00:10:15,458 --> 00:10:17,333
‎以目前的賣價…

207
00:10:18,791 --> 00:10:20,000
‎4.99元

208
00:10:22,291 --> 00:10:23,458
‎4.99元？

209
00:10:23,875 --> 00:10:25,666
‎4塊又99分錢？

210
00:10:26,416 --> 00:10:28,791
‎我姊生了小孩以後就小氣到不行

211
00:10:28,875 --> 00:10:32,083
‎把褲管剪掉就會像七分褲一樣可愛

212
00:10:34,458 --> 00:10:35,875
‎50元通通賣妳

213
00:10:35,958 --> 00:10:38,708
‎-你幹嘛，說不定會
‎-妳最好會做七分褲

214
00:10:39,166 --> 00:10:40,250
‎我手很巧

215
00:10:40,333 --> 00:10:41,416
‎好吧

216
00:10:41,500 --> 00:10:42,333
‎40元

217
00:10:42,791 --> 00:10:43,791
‎45元

218
00:10:44,375 --> 00:10:45,875
‎還有蝴蝶餅買一送一券

219
00:10:47,291 --> 00:10:49,291
‎-你不要吃嗎？
‎-我不吃那種東西

220
00:10:49,375 --> 00:10:51,833
‎-妳知道吃下去會怎樣嗎？
‎-知道

221
00:10:52,166 --> 00:10:54,333
‎讓我渾身充滿溫暖美味的幸福感

222
00:10:55,000 --> 00:10:58,166
‎就像小時候過聖誕節
‎後來我發現聖誕老人都是謊言

223
00:10:58,250 --> 00:10:59,083
‎對

224
00:10:59,333 --> 00:11:01,375
‎我被聖誕節騙到大概10歲

225
00:11:01,458 --> 00:11:04,708
‎我收到衝浪板跟第一組高爾夫球桿

226
00:11:05,791 --> 00:11:07,458
‎-當時很美好
‎-我最棒的聖誕節

227
00:11:08,250 --> 00:11:10,958
‎是芭比夢幻屋，先組好的

228
00:11:11,750 --> 00:11:14,416
‎還有一個叫萊斯特的腹語娃娃

229
00:11:15,083 --> 00:11:16,208
‎它長得像喜劇演員

230
00:11:18,208 --> 00:11:19,875
‎我對書呆子有種迷戀

231
00:11:19,958 --> 00:11:22,250
‎我花了好幾個月學腹語

232
00:11:22,583 --> 00:11:24,291
‎-快點現場來一段
‎-不要

233
00:11:24,958 --> 00:11:26,916
‎不好意思，妳的蝴蝶餅是我請的

234
00:11:27,000 --> 00:11:28,583
‎妳就是要表演書呆子給我看

235
00:11:29,666 --> 00:11:30,500
‎快點

236
00:11:31,291 --> 00:11:32,291
‎快啊

237
00:11:34,541 --> 00:11:35,833
‎是我做的嗎？

238
00:11:37,375 --> 00:11:39,125
‎是我做的嗎？

239
00:11:39,208 --> 00:11:40,250
‎真不賴

240
00:11:40,958 --> 00:11:43,291
‎-萊斯特後來怎麼了？
‎-每晚陪我睡覺

241
00:11:43,875 --> 00:11:44,958
‎什麼？

242
00:11:45,583 --> 00:11:47,166
‎絲隆

243
00:11:48,125 --> 00:11:50,291
‎真要命

244
00:11:50,375 --> 00:11:52,750
‎是妳前男友還是怎樣？

245
00:11:53,250 --> 00:11:55,833
‎不是，那是我阿姨
‎帶回家過聖誕節的男人

246
00:11:56,833 --> 00:11:58,083
‎舔鮑鮑的就是他？

247
00:11:58,500 --> 00:12:00,250
‎叫蘇珊阿姨打給我

248
00:12:00,333 --> 00:12:01,666
‎他是她的節日情人

249
00:12:02,083 --> 00:12:03,458
‎等等，節日情人是什麼？

250
00:12:03,791 --> 00:12:06,333
‎她在賣場找來一起過聖誕節的

251
00:12:07,458 --> 00:12:09,958
‎慢著，只有聖誕節還是所有節日？

252
00:12:10,041 --> 00:12:11,416
‎復活節，新年…

253
00:12:11,916 --> 00:12:14,000
‎她覺得每個節日都一樣重要

254
00:12:14,416 --> 00:12:16,458
‎我除夕夜需要的就是這個

255
00:12:16,541 --> 00:12:19,125
‎你可以試試看，不過這麼晚才問
‎他可能都約滿了

256
00:12:19,208 --> 00:12:21,416
‎不是，我說真的，我受夠

257
00:12:21,500 --> 00:12:23,125
‎在假日隨便找人約會

258
00:12:23,208 --> 00:12:25,083
‎壓力太大了，實在荒謬

259
00:12:25,166 --> 00:12:27,750
‎總之到最後，我都成了渣男

260
00:12:27,833 --> 00:12:31,083
‎是嗎？當當看
‎全家族絕無僅有的單身狗

261
00:12:31,166 --> 00:12:32,500
‎我每次一走進去

262
00:12:32,583 --> 00:12:35,583
‎就有一堆難過帶有憐憫的眼神望向我

263
00:12:35,666 --> 00:12:38,791
‎為什麼大家都要懷疑
‎快樂的單身女子？

264
00:12:39,250 --> 00:12:40,750
‎因為妳一臉就寫著不快樂

265
00:12:41,458 --> 00:12:42,625
‎我很快樂

266
00:12:43,250 --> 00:12:44,083
‎不要懷疑

267
00:12:44,708 --> 00:12:45,541
‎妳才沒有

268
00:12:46,333 --> 00:12:49,208
‎人類在過節時就是不該孤伶伶的

269
00:12:49,750 --> 00:12:51,166
‎我們很需要

270
00:12:51,583 --> 00:12:52,666
‎溫暖

271
00:12:53,208 --> 00:12:54,333
‎陪伴

272
00:12:55,166 --> 00:12:57,750
‎還要有人借酒裝瘋在派對嘲笑陌生人

273
00:12:58,666 --> 00:13:01,541
‎我確實很喜歡借酒裝瘋
‎在派對上嘲笑陌生人

274
00:13:02,125 --> 00:13:05,708
‎太好了，我們可以在除夕夜
‎扮演彼此的節日情人

275
00:13:05,916 --> 00:13:07,333
‎我根本不認識你，所以…

276
00:13:07,416 --> 00:13:09,750
‎沒錯，好就好在這

277
00:13:09,833 --> 00:13:12,791
‎因為這樣就不會有壓力
‎不會抱持期待

278
00:13:12,875 --> 00:13:16,000
‎我是說…我甚至覺得
‎妳沒那麼有吸引力

279
00:13:17,041 --> 00:13:18,416
‎你還真會誇獎人

280
00:13:18,500 --> 00:13:21,166
‎我不是說妳沒有吸引力，只是可能…

281
00:13:21,583 --> 00:13:23,041
‎對我來說沒這麼有吸引力

282
00:13:24,583 --> 00:13:25,416
‎再見

283
00:13:26,833 --> 00:13:29,166
‎先別走，妳剛才說

284
00:13:29,250 --> 00:13:32,208
‎妳不想再看到難過的眼神

285
00:13:32,291 --> 00:13:34,625
‎-看起來很可悲
‎-是“憐憫”，不是“可悲”

286
00:13:34,708 --> 00:13:36,208
‎意思都一樣

287
00:13:37,000 --> 00:13:38,958
‎我有《007：空降危機》的派對門票

288
00:13:39,041 --> 00:13:40,250
‎-真的嗎？
‎-真的

289
00:13:40,333 --> 00:13:41,666
‎那派對很有趣

290
00:13:42,083 --> 00:13:43,208
‎那就快點答應我

291
00:13:43,916 --> 00:13:45,291
‎我只想去那邊

292
00:13:45,625 --> 00:13:47,625
‎好好放鬆，喝幾杯東西

293
00:13:47,708 --> 00:13:49,416
‎要是我沒在半夜求婚

294
00:13:49,500 --> 00:13:52,500
‎也不用擔心我的約會對象抓狂

295
00:13:54,250 --> 00:13:56,083
‎你怎麼確定我不會抓狂？

296
00:13:56,750 --> 00:13:58,125
‎我看妳表演萊斯特就知道了

297
00:14:00,166 --> 00:14:01,416
‎對了，我叫傑克森

298
00:14:01,875 --> 00:14:03,000
‎絲隆

299
00:14:03,083 --> 00:14:04,833
‎很高興認識妳，絲隆

300
00:14:04,916 --> 00:14:06,625
‎這是我的聯絡方式

301
00:14:07,583 --> 00:14:08,500
‎“職業高爾夫球手”

302
00:14:09,541 --> 00:14:10,666
‎這是你真正的工作？

303
00:14:10,750 --> 00:14:12,375
‎妳考慮一下再傳訊息給我

304
00:14:13,916 --> 00:14:15,541
‎我不會傳訊息給你的，老虎伍茲

305
00:14:16,041 --> 00:14:18,125
‎-考慮一下
‎-不會傳訊息給你

306
00:14:18,208 --> 00:14:19,458
‎傳訊息給我

307
00:14:20,666 --> 00:14:21,958
‎我快講完了

308
00:14:22,458 --> 00:14:25,708
‎我們第三季剛好達標，然後…

309
00:14:25,791 --> 00:14:26,625
‎（媽媽來電）

310
00:14:26,708 --> 00:14:27,625
‎（接通，掛斷）

311
00:14:28,458 --> 00:14:31,291
‎我一早就會準備好細節

312
00:14:33,000 --> 00:14:34,083
‎抱歉，我可以…

313
00:14:34,708 --> 00:14:35,833
‎等一下回你電話嗎？

314
00:14:36,333 --> 00:14:37,166
‎好

315
00:14:37,958 --> 00:14:39,375
‎媽，我在工作

316
00:14:39,750 --> 00:14:41,208
‎妳就穿這樣工作？

317
00:14:41,625 --> 00:14:43,541
‎好歹也穿件像樣的上衣

318
00:14:44,041 --> 00:14:46,083
‎親愛的，我要介紹一個人給妳認識

319
00:14:47,000 --> 00:14:49,750
‎這是我的新鄰居，法魯克

320
00:14:50,208 --> 00:14:52,833
‎-妳好
‎-法魯克是醫生

321
00:14:52,916 --> 00:14:53,833
‎而且單身

322
00:14:54,958 --> 00:14:57,083
‎她化妝會更漂亮

323
00:14:57,166 --> 00:14:58,333
‎我現在就有化妝

324
00:14:58,708 --> 00:15:01,958
‎-法魯克除夕夜有空…
‎-再見，老媽

325
00:15:02,041 --> 00:15:03,666
‎所以我在想…

326
00:15:09,458 --> 00:15:11,583
‎（傑克森派瑞提）

327
00:15:17,958 --> 00:15:19,458
‎差點被騙，不行

328
00:15:19,541 --> 00:15:21,041
‎不行，好

329
00:15:21,708 --> 00:15:22,541
‎不行

330
00:15:22,833 --> 00:15:24,333
‎可能可以

331
00:15:24,416 --> 00:15:25,416
‎不行

332
00:15:27,541 --> 00:15:29,291
‎義大利文的不行怎麼說？

333
00:15:29,375 --> 00:15:30,541
‎“不行，多謝”

334
00:15:34,125 --> 00:15:35,916
‎她很棒

335
00:15:36,000 --> 00:15:37,708
‎而且她有一頭小羊

336
00:15:37,791 --> 00:15:39,833
‎你上個月不是在業餘巡迴賽睡過她？

337
00:15:41,375 --> 00:15:42,208
‎不是你嗎？

338
00:15:45,666 --> 00:15:47,958
‎對，是我

339
00:15:48,041 --> 00:15:49,958
‎她一定是把羊放在家裡了

340
00:15:50,041 --> 00:15:53,250
‎-我該打電話給她…
‎-你幹嘛用我的帳號？

341
00:15:53,416 --> 00:15:54,458
‎我說過了

342
00:15:54,541 --> 00:15:57,708
‎我有幾個一直放不下執念的前女友

343
00:15:57,791 --> 00:16:00,166
‎-好嗎？
‎-你知道這些女生的問題點嗎？

344
00:16:00,250 --> 00:16:02,250
‎她們的眼神
‎看起來瘋瘋癲癲的，對吧？

345
00:16:02,333 --> 00:16:03,458
‎她們是來真的

346
00:16:03,541 --> 00:16:05,500
‎我…不需要來真的

347
00:16:06,583 --> 00:16:08,750
‎-我需要的是節日情人
‎-你剛說什麼情人？

348
00:16:11,458 --> 00:16:12,500
‎妳好

349
00:16:16,916 --> 00:16:18,750
‎我好像叫妳傳訊息給我，不是打給我

350
00:16:18,833 --> 00:16:20,750
‎節日情人是什麼？

351
00:16:20,833 --> 00:16:22,750
‎是有新的手機應用程式要下載嗎？

352
00:16:23,125 --> 00:16:24,333
‎應用程式出得太快了吧

353
00:16:31,375 --> 00:16:33,375
‎應該換皮背心哥了

354
00:16:33,458 --> 00:16:35,375
‎好，他是選擇權交易員

355
00:16:35,458 --> 00:16:37,458
‎離婚了，兩個小孩唸西北大學

356
00:16:37,958 --> 00:16:41,541
‎女方負責裝潢他的新公寓大樓

357
00:16:41,625 --> 00:16:44,625
‎-有可能成為第三任太太
‎-很好

358
00:16:46,916 --> 00:16:48,083
‎白色荷葉邊緞面連身裙

359
00:16:48,166 --> 00:16:49,250
‎租來的燕尾服

360
00:16:49,791 --> 00:16:51,500
‎他整個人大爆汗

361
00:16:51,583 --> 00:16:54,041
‎他們今晚一定會訂婚

362
00:16:55,791 --> 00:16:56,875
‎天啊

363
00:16:57,833 --> 00:16:59,666
‎-你真行
‎-這是天賦

364
00:17:01,250 --> 00:17:04,916
‎對了，穿這件洋裝
‎讓妳的胸部看起來很豐滿

365
00:17:05,000 --> 00:17:06,791
‎謝了，所以我才買

366
00:17:07,666 --> 00:17:11,166
‎-我也很喜歡它包覆妳臀部的樣子
‎-你真細心，還注意到這些

367
00:17:11,750 --> 00:17:12,791
‎這樣真棒

368
00:17:12,875 --> 00:17:15,000
‎好極了，我可以暢所欲言

369
00:17:15,083 --> 00:17:17,000
‎不用擔心妳覺得我好色

370
00:17:17,083 --> 00:17:20,041
‎我可以穿露一點
‎不用擔心別人覺得我淫盪

371
00:17:20,583 --> 00:17:21,541
‎節日情人的優點

372
00:17:25,500 --> 00:17:28,750
‎好，他是搞不清楚性向的藝術系學生

373
00:17:29,208 --> 00:17:30,458
‎還是媽寶

374
00:17:30,541 --> 00:17:31,833
‎她是有錢的寡婦

375
00:17:31,916 --> 00:17:33,541
‎喜歡玩綑綁遊戲

376
00:17:34,166 --> 00:17:35,166
‎蘇珊阿姨？

377
00:17:36,000 --> 00:17:36,833
‎絲隆

378
00:17:36,916 --> 00:17:38,666
‎-妳好
‎-妳好

379
00:17:38,750 --> 00:17:40,791
‎-寶貝
‎-沒想到

380
00:17:40,875 --> 00:17:43,083
‎妳穿這件洋裝，胸部看起來真漂亮

381
00:17:43,625 --> 00:17:44,833
‎我也這麼說

382
00:17:45,375 --> 00:17:46,916
‎這位是…朗尼

383
00:17:47,958 --> 00:17:48,791
‎羅伯

384
00:17:49,416 --> 00:17:50,416
‎-妳好
‎-你好

385
00:17:50,500 --> 00:17:51,916
‎我們在藝術學院認識的

386
00:17:52,000 --> 00:17:53,625
‎我在他的人體雕塑課

387
00:17:53,708 --> 00:17:55,041
‎擔任全裸模特兒

388
00:17:55,458 --> 00:17:57,875
‎他幫我做了無懈可擊的陰蒂

389
00:17:58,416 --> 00:18:00,583
‎就像蝴蝶要展翅高飛

390
00:18:01,958 --> 00:18:03,000
‎妳非看不可

391
00:18:03,083 --> 00:18:04,375
‎不了，謝謝

392
00:18:04,458 --> 00:18:05,833
‎我很想看

393
00:18:06,291 --> 00:18:07,416
‎我安排一下

394
00:18:08,333 --> 00:18:10,666
‎新年快樂，你倆玩得愉快

395
00:18:12,166 --> 00:18:13,375
‎走吧，小鮮肉

396
00:18:13,916 --> 00:18:15,083
‎妳姑姑人看起來不錯

397
00:18:16,291 --> 00:18:17,458
‎我要去拿酒

398
00:18:20,708 --> 00:18:22,791
‎她的角色才不會做這種事

399
00:18:22,875 --> 00:18:24,125
‎哪有關係？好玩就好了

400
00:18:25,083 --> 00:18:26,000
‎這實在很荒唐

401
00:18:26,583 --> 00:18:27,416
‎不好意思

402
00:18:27,500 --> 00:18:29,125
‎現在沒人會說荒唐

403
00:18:29,500 --> 00:18:31,083
‎這是我唯一知道

404
00:18:31,166 --> 00:18:34,083
‎能正確形容
‎歷史上每一部浪漫喜劇的用語

405
00:18:34,166 --> 00:18:35,750
‎電影總是有一些藉口

406
00:18:35,833 --> 00:18:37,250
‎讓男女主角沒辦法在一起

407
00:18:37,333 --> 00:18:39,833
‎但是看海報就知道他們會在一起

408
00:18:40,291 --> 00:18:42,041
‎主角淚流滿面

409
00:18:42,125 --> 00:18:43,750
‎”我心碎了滿地

410
00:18:43,833 --> 00:18:45,541
‎雖然你是我的完美對象

411
00:18:45,625 --> 00:18:47,250
‎但我暫時不想約會”

412
00:18:47,833 --> 00:18:49,458
‎根本沒有人…

413
00:18:50,541 --> 00:18:51,916
‎是真的要暫時不約會

414
00:18:52,000 --> 00:18:53,083
‎我跟你說

415
00:18:53,166 --> 00:18:54,875
‎要是雷恩葛斯林悠然現身

416
00:18:54,958 --> 00:18:58,166
‎抱起我
‎隨著《熱舞17》的主題曲起舞

417
00:18:58,250 --> 00:18:59,416
‎我絕對不會說

418
00:18:59,500 --> 00:19:03,000
‎“雷恩老弟，時機不對
‎我暫時不約會”

419
00:19:03,875 --> 00:19:05,916
‎我會跳上那列車

420
00:19:06,000 --> 00:19:07,625
‎雷恩葛斯林列車

421
00:19:07,708 --> 00:19:09,500
‎我也會跳上雷恩葛斯林列車

422
00:19:10,791 --> 00:19:14,041
‎所以是哪個蠢蛋
‎讓妳不相信浪漫喜劇？

423
00:19:15,208 --> 00:19:17,583
‎-我寧可不要提
‎-已經提了

424
00:19:18,541 --> 00:19:19,750
‎他叫什麼名字？

425
00:19:19,833 --> 00:19:20,666
‎比爾？

426
00:19:21,333 --> 00:19:22,166
‎佛萊德？

427
00:19:22,833 --> 00:19:23,708
‎卡洛斯？

428
00:19:24,500 --> 00:19:26,000
‎-璜？
‎-什麼啦

429
00:19:26,083 --> 00:19:27,791
‎鮑伯？是什麼？

430
00:19:29,250 --> 00:19:30,166
‎路克

431
00:19:31,250 --> 00:19:32,083
‎路克？

432
00:19:32,166 --> 00:19:33,291
‎路克

433
00:19:33,375 --> 00:19:35,125
‎他聽起來一無是處

434
00:19:35,208 --> 00:19:36,083
‎不會

435
00:19:36,541 --> 00:19:38,083
‎他很帥

436
00:19:38,166 --> 00:19:39,416
‎又聰明

437
00:19:39,791 --> 00:19:40,625
‎還是法國人

438
00:19:41,083 --> 00:19:44,500
‎他戴著性感小巧的約翰藍儂眼鏡

439
00:19:45,041 --> 00:19:46,750
‎會參加三鐵大賽

440
00:19:47,625 --> 00:19:49,000
‎耐力一等一

441
00:19:49,916 --> 00:19:51,166
‎後來怎麼了？

442
00:19:52,625 --> 00:19:54,875
‎沒什麼，我們要的不同

443
00:19:55,458 --> 00:19:57,791
‎我想要帶人回家過節

444
00:19:57,875 --> 00:19:59,958
‎他只想傳老二的照片

445
00:20:00,041 --> 00:20:02,500
‎給幫他做雙倍瑪奇朵的女生

446
00:20:03,000 --> 00:20:04,000
‎真傷人

447
00:20:06,000 --> 00:20:07,500
‎這是我不對

448
00:20:07,583 --> 00:20:09,291
‎他太帥了，根本靠不住

449
00:20:09,583 --> 00:20:12,041
‎“找醜的交往”，我姊說的

450
00:20:12,833 --> 00:20:13,833
‎我沒聽她的話

451
00:20:15,958 --> 00:20:17,000
‎我去尿尿

452
00:20:22,416 --> 00:20:23,250
‎真要命

453
00:20:24,000 --> 00:20:25,541
‎我看起來好像被刺了一刀

454
00:20:25,625 --> 00:20:26,666
‎這只是酒而已

455
00:20:26,750 --> 00:20:30,250
‎-我不能穿這套洋裝訂婚
‎-沒事的，沒這麼糟

456
00:20:30,333 --> 00:20:32,875
‎-對啊，看起來就像一朵花
‎-對

457
00:20:33,541 --> 00:20:35,166
‎鮮血染的花

458
00:20:37,291 --> 00:20:38,458
‎我跟妳換衣服

459
00:20:40,125 --> 00:20:41,750
‎天啊

460
00:20:42,916 --> 00:20:43,791
‎我是魔女嘉莉

461
00:20:44,500 --> 00:20:46,583
‎妳聽好，他很愛妳

462
00:20:46,666 --> 00:20:48,833
‎知道嗎？他還是會求婚

463
00:20:48,916 --> 00:20:52,458
‎我這輩子就等著除夕有人跟我求婚

464
00:20:53,125 --> 00:20:54,666
‎結果現在全毀了

465
00:20:54,916 --> 00:20:56,416
‎我們乾脆走吧

466
00:20:59,041 --> 00:21:00,000
‎妳好

467
00:21:00,083 --> 00:21:01,375
‎天啊

468
00:21:01,750 --> 00:21:04,166
‎妳好漂亮

469
00:21:13,083 --> 00:21:14,333
‎別問了

470
00:21:15,458 --> 00:21:16,541
‎來吧

471
00:21:33,833 --> 00:21:35,541
‎（新年快樂）

472
00:21:59,166 --> 00:22:00,708
‎-什麼？
‎-謝謝妳

473
00:22:08,333 --> 00:22:09,791
‎不是吧

474
00:22:11,083 --> 00:22:13,291
‎這個世界值得看到妳的美

475
00:22:21,166 --> 00:22:22,833
‎大家通通退後

476
00:22:31,708 --> 00:22:32,958
‎快上

477
00:22:44,583 --> 00:22:45,541
‎-上
‎-上

478
00:22:55,791 --> 00:22:57,375
‎該死

479
00:23:07,875 --> 00:23:09,375
‎露奶了

480
00:23:20,791 --> 00:23:22,583
‎沒人會把女主角摔在地上

481
00:23:25,333 --> 00:23:26,625
‎我去上個廁所

482
00:23:31,458 --> 00:23:33,041
‎大家聽著

483
00:23:33,125 --> 00:23:35,458
‎準備迎接新年了嗎，芝加哥？

484
00:23:37,291 --> 00:23:38,250
‎太棒了

485
00:23:38,333 --> 00:23:41,708
‎好，拉著你的愛人
‎一起來倒數，寶貝

486
00:23:41,791 --> 00:23:44,791
‎一起來，九、八…

487
00:23:44,875 --> 00:23:46,333
‎七、六

488
00:23:46,500 --> 00:23:48,250
‎五、四

489
00:23:48,333 --> 00:23:49,916
‎三、二

490
00:23:50,000 --> 00:23:50,916
‎一

491
00:23:51,000 --> 00:23:55,125
‎新年快樂，芝加哥

492
00:24:13,875 --> 00:24:15,083
‎妳願意嫁給我嗎？

493
00:24:15,166 --> 00:24:17,500
‎天啊，我願意

494
00:24:18,208 --> 00:24:19,708
‎我愛你

495
00:24:32,291 --> 00:24:33,250
‎可惡

496
00:24:33,541 --> 00:24:34,583
‎抱歉

497
00:24:36,541 --> 00:24:38,291
‎-新年快樂
‎-新年快樂

498
00:25:03,708 --> 00:25:05,208
‎今晚並不糟

499
00:25:05,583 --> 00:25:07,583
‎我其實玩得很開心

500
00:25:07,666 --> 00:25:08,500
‎對

501
00:25:08,958 --> 00:25:10,666
‎不算我這輩子最慘的夜晚

502
00:25:11,708 --> 00:25:13,208
‎那妳情人節要做什麼？

503
00:25:13,875 --> 00:25:15,666
‎那是兩個月後的事

504
00:25:15,750 --> 00:25:17,833
‎我知道，不過要是我現在擬訂計畫

505
00:25:17,916 --> 00:25:20,041
‎到時候可能就不會做蠢事

506
00:25:20,916 --> 00:25:23,125
‎嘴真甜，不過兩個月還很久

507
00:25:23,208 --> 00:25:25,708
‎這期間可能會有很多變數

508
00:25:26,333 --> 00:25:27,166
‎也是

509
00:25:28,375 --> 00:25:31,000
‎要是沒有，我跟一間糖果店長期有約

510
00:25:31,083 --> 00:25:32,458
‎所以不用約

511
00:25:34,583 --> 00:25:35,416
‎好

512
00:25:35,583 --> 00:25:36,416
‎那好

513
00:25:37,125 --> 00:25:38,250
‎晚安囉

514
00:25:38,833 --> 00:25:39,666
‎新年快樂

515
00:25:40,458 --> 00:25:41,416
‎新年快樂

516
00:25:49,166 --> 00:25:52,416
‎（《情人節單身沒什麼大不了》）

517
00:25:52,500 --> 00:25:55,500
‎什麼叫妳情人節沒有對象？

518
00:25:55,583 --> 00:25:57,958
‎別一副好像我宣布了罹癌噩耗一樣

519
00:25:58,750 --> 00:26:00,000
‎但那是情人節

520
00:26:00,083 --> 00:26:02,166
‎不是，那就是星期四

521
00:26:02,500 --> 00:26:04,875
‎我要泡很久的熱水澡

522
00:26:05,250 --> 00:26:06,666
‎開一罐葡萄酒

523
00:26:06,750 --> 00:26:09,791
‎放縱自己吃點巧克力，誰曉得

524
00:26:09,875 --> 00:26:11,583
‎說不定會看個色情片

525
00:26:11,666 --> 00:26:14,291
‎不能在情人節看色情片

526
00:26:14,375 --> 00:26:17,208
‎情人節就是要看色情片

527
00:26:17,625 --> 00:26:20,791
‎那個帥醫生叫什麼名字？法魯克？

528
00:26:21,208 --> 00:26:22,291
‎妳應該打給他

529
00:26:22,375 --> 00:26:23,416
‎省省吧

530
00:26:23,500 --> 00:26:26,250
‎我不跟我媽安排的對象約會

531
00:26:26,333 --> 00:26:28,916
‎賣場那個男的呢？
‎你們除夕夜玩得很開心

532
00:26:29,000 --> 00:26:30,791
‎對，但就那一次

533
00:26:31,083 --> 00:26:32,625
‎我吸引不了他

534
00:26:32,958 --> 00:26:34,208
‎-他說的？
‎-對

535
00:26:34,875 --> 00:26:35,750
‎噁心

536
00:26:36,083 --> 00:26:37,500
‎那他吸引妳嗎？

537
00:26:37,958 --> 00:26:38,958
‎沒有

538
00:26:39,041 --> 00:26:40,500
‎他連英文都說不好

539
00:26:40,583 --> 00:26:42,541
‎你們應該聽聽他說“卡其”這個字

540
00:26:42,625 --> 00:26:44,083
‎他都會拉長音

541
00:26:47,541 --> 00:26:49,666
‎聽好了，我很高興自己單身

542
00:26:49,750 --> 00:26:51,750
‎想做什麼就做什麼

543
00:26:51,833 --> 00:26:56,916
‎不會有除毛、拔毛、熱蠟除毛的壓力

544
00:26:57,000 --> 00:26:59,083
‎結婚最大的優點
‎就是可以揮別熱蠟除毛

545
00:26:59,541 --> 00:27:02,458
‎婚禮呢？參加婚禮總不能一個人去吧

546
00:27:02,541 --> 00:27:04,541
‎婚禮還有八個月

547
00:27:04,625 --> 00:27:06,583
‎妳已經自我放棄了

548
00:27:07,541 --> 00:27:09,708
‎大家管好自己就行了

549
00:27:09,791 --> 00:27:12,291
‎我的愛情生活和個人衛生

550
00:27:12,375 --> 00:27:14,000
‎完全都在掌控之中

551
00:27:14,083 --> 00:27:15,333
‎現在先失陪了

552
00:27:15,500 --> 00:27:17,791
‎我有一大堆糖果要買

553
00:27:20,500 --> 00:27:22,416
‎我賭羅德尼還單身

554
00:27:22,500 --> 00:27:24,166
‎-天啊，拜託傳訊息給他
‎-好

555
00:27:33,375 --> 00:27:34,291
‎絲隆

556
00:27:36,500 --> 00:27:37,333
‎路克

557
00:27:39,625 --> 00:27:40,875
‎天啊

558
00:27:40,958 --> 00:27:42,000
‎你好嗎？

559
00:27:43,250 --> 00:27:44,083
‎這是…

560
00:27:44,583 --> 00:27:45,916
‎寶貝，吃吃看

561
00:27:48,458 --> 00:27:50,791
‎-味道好奇妙
‎-對

562
00:27:50,875 --> 00:27:53,458
‎我的舌頭正在享受極度高潮

563
00:27:55,875 --> 00:27:57,625
‎這有其他口味嗎？

564
00:27:58,208 --> 00:27:59,875
‎我不是店員

565
00:27:59,958 --> 00:28:03,041
‎抱歉，我以為妳在補貨之類的

566
00:28:04,500 --> 00:28:05,375
‎不是

567
00:28:05,791 --> 00:28:07,166
‎-我沒有
‎-不是的…

568
00:28:07,625 --> 00:28:09,000
‎親愛的，這位是絲隆

569
00:28:09,416 --> 00:28:11,958
‎我們交往過幾個月

570
00:28:12,875 --> 00:28:15,708
‎妳真好運

571
00:28:15,791 --> 00:28:17,583
‎他的床上功夫很好吧？

572
00:28:17,666 --> 00:28:21,041
‎他就像金槍不倒的魔鬼終結者
‎只是一直爽翻天的是我

573
00:28:23,041 --> 00:28:23,958
‎小可愛

574
00:28:24,041 --> 00:28:27,750
‎我們不是約在連鎖店
‎要試用按摩器嗎？

575
00:28:27,833 --> 00:28:29,166
‎你們好，我是傑克森

576
00:28:29,250 --> 00:28:32,500
‎我是絲隆現任的鮮肉玩物

577
00:28:32,583 --> 00:28:34,750
‎我很想說服她跟我穩定交往

578
00:28:34,833 --> 00:28:37,583
‎但是她個性堅強又獨立

579
00:28:38,041 --> 00:28:40,916
‎-別鬧了啦
‎-希望有好結果

580
00:28:41,000 --> 00:28:41,958
‎我是路克，這位是…

581
00:28:43,041 --> 00:28:44,166
‎費莉西蒂

582
00:28:44,625 --> 00:28:45,458
‎好高

583
00:28:45,750 --> 00:28:48,250
‎你倆真是天作之合

584
00:28:48,333 --> 00:28:49,791
‎-對
‎-我是說…

585
00:28:49,875 --> 00:28:50,708
‎還用說

586
00:28:50,791 --> 00:28:52,166
‎謝謝

587
00:28:54,666 --> 00:28:55,833
‎說完了嗎，寶貝？

588
00:28:55,916 --> 00:28:59,750
‎因為我幫妳在性感內衣店

589
00:28:59,833 --> 00:29:02,416
‎安排了盛大的計畫

590
00:29:04,083 --> 00:29:05,916
‎-要走了嗎？東西要拿
‎-好

591
00:29:06,000 --> 00:29:07,333
‎-好
‎-好極了，好

592
00:29:07,416 --> 00:29:09,625
‎很高興認識你們，真的，祝你們幸福

593
00:29:09,708 --> 00:29:11,500
‎-謝謝，再見，費莉西亞
‎-很高興見面

594
00:29:11,583 --> 00:29:12,791
‎是費莉西蒂

595
00:29:13,125 --> 00:29:15,291
‎-我要吐了
‎-深呼吸

596
00:29:18,083 --> 00:29:19,583
‎衛生紙給妳

597
00:29:21,291 --> 00:29:22,250
‎這給妳喝

598
00:29:25,541 --> 00:29:27,125
‎這下我肯定要吐了

599
00:29:27,416 --> 00:29:29,750
‎這是青汁，對身體好

600
00:29:30,083 --> 00:29:33,541
‎人體可以大約活120年

601
00:29:33,625 --> 00:29:35,083
‎只要妳好好照顧就行了

602
00:29:35,166 --> 00:29:36,541
‎誰管那麼多？

603
00:29:36,625 --> 00:29:38,375
‎反正40歲之後都會走下坡

604
00:29:38,458 --> 00:29:40,625
‎誰想要苟延殘喘再活80年？

605
00:29:42,000 --> 00:29:44,125
‎如果生命裡有費莉西蒂這種女人…

606
00:29:45,500 --> 00:29:47,125
‎抱歉，我嘴賤

607
00:29:47,958 --> 00:29:51,375
‎為什麼下一任女友都更年輕貌美？

608
00:29:51,458 --> 00:29:53,375
‎難道有什麼不成文的規定？

609
00:29:53,458 --> 00:29:56,333
‎一般來說，更年輕貌美的女孩

610
00:29:56,416 --> 00:29:58,458
‎比較不看重承諾，所以…

611
00:29:59,125 --> 00:30:01,000
‎某方面來說，這其實是對妳的讚美

612
00:30:03,041 --> 00:30:04,250
‎等等，就是這原因

613
00:30:04,541 --> 00:30:07,458
‎他很害怕，跟費莉西蒂交往
‎等於是他在求救

614
00:30:08,166 --> 00:30:09,208
‎妳喝醉了喔？

615
00:30:09,708 --> 00:30:10,958
‎可能有一點

616
00:30:11,041 --> 00:30:13,500
‎這些酒香松露巧克力
‎酒精濃度比我想的還高

617
00:30:15,166 --> 00:30:16,041
‎我拿了這籃

618
00:30:16,458 --> 00:30:17,458
‎沒付錢就跑了

619
00:30:17,541 --> 00:30:19,458
‎好，我不要回去，那…

620
00:30:19,875 --> 00:30:21,708
‎乾脆消滅證據好了

621
00:30:23,208 --> 00:30:25,791
‎不了，我不吃垃圾食物
‎我可是職業運動員

622
00:30:26,958 --> 00:30:28,166
‎有沒有搞錯？

623
00:30:28,458 --> 00:30:30,833
‎高爾夫是地球上最不像運動的運動

624
00:30:30,916 --> 00:30:34,333
‎我告訴妳，打高爾夫需要
‎比較精準地控制肌肉

625
00:30:34,416 --> 00:30:36,125
‎以及手眼協調

626
00:30:36,208 --> 00:30:38,500
‎相較於足球加籃球而言

627
00:30:38,958 --> 00:30:39,875
‎或許吧

628
00:30:39,958 --> 00:30:43,291
‎但是詹皇可不需要一台小車
‎載著他在球場跑

629
00:30:44,791 --> 00:30:46,875
‎快點，別這樣婆婆媽媽的

630
00:30:46,958 --> 00:30:48,750
‎女生說婆婆媽媽很奇怪

631
00:30:49,208 --> 00:30:51,791
‎原來你真的很婆婆媽媽

632
00:30:52,291 --> 00:30:54,375
‎如果我沒有這麼婆婆媽媽

633
00:30:54,458 --> 00:30:56,208
‎妳現在還被困在糖果店

634
00:30:56,291 --> 00:30:59,458
‎跟前男友
‎還有他美到冒泡的新女友說話

635
00:31:00,125 --> 00:31:02,541
‎所以妳是該感謝我

636
00:31:05,750 --> 00:31:06,708
‎你說得對

637
00:31:07,083 --> 00:31:07,916
‎謝謝

638
00:31:10,458 --> 00:31:11,291
‎我欠你一次人情

639
00:31:11,375 --> 00:31:12,458
‎這樣好多了

640
00:31:13,458 --> 00:31:16,875
‎要幫我打手槍就去停車場吧，謝謝

641
00:31:17,291 --> 00:31:19,541
‎打手槍啊

642
00:31:20,791 --> 00:31:21,958
‎你以為自己12歲嗎？

643
00:31:22,125 --> 00:31:23,500
‎妳12歲就幫別人打手槍？

644
00:31:24,000 --> 00:31:25,125
‎我早熟

645
00:31:26,333 --> 00:31:27,625
‎天啊，真棒

646
00:31:27,708 --> 00:31:29,541
‎夠嗎，還是要再來？

647
00:31:29,625 --> 00:31:30,458
‎再來

648
00:31:30,541 --> 00:31:33,375
‎-別亂動，我快好了
‎-這巧克力真棒

649
00:31:33,458 --> 00:31:35,125
‎天啊，妳沒開玩笑

650
00:31:35,208 --> 00:31:36,750
‎-等一下
‎-可惡

651
00:31:37,083 --> 00:31:39,750
‎-可惡，沾得我褲子都是
‎-你有濕紙巾嗎？

652
00:31:40,291 --> 00:31:42,458
‎有，置物箱的尿布旁邊

653
00:31:42,541 --> 00:31:44,625
‎天啊，妳真會帶壞人

654
00:31:44,708 --> 00:31:45,666
‎我才沒有

655
00:31:47,083 --> 00:31:49,333
‎-要來根煙嗎？
‎-妳會抽煙？

656
00:31:50,750 --> 00:31:51,833
‎不會

657
00:31:51,916 --> 00:31:53,958
‎騙你的啦，偶爾會抽

658
00:31:54,541 --> 00:31:56,458
‎抽點煙又不會死

659
00:31:56,875 --> 00:31:57,833
‎絕對會

660
00:31:59,583 --> 00:32:02,791
‎我知道，穿著睡衣在情人節

661
00:32:02,875 --> 00:32:05,458
‎逛糖果店時碰到男友讓人心煩意亂

662
00:32:05,541 --> 00:32:07,958
‎是前男友，而且這才不是睡衣

663
00:32:08,041 --> 00:32:09,458
‎這是休閒褲

664
00:32:11,375 --> 00:32:14,250
‎信不信由你
‎我這輩子還有更慘的情人節

665
00:32:15,041 --> 00:32:16,583
‎幹嘛不打給我？

666
00:32:16,958 --> 00:32:18,041
‎我不曉得

667
00:32:18,125 --> 00:32:20,166
‎我可能不好意思承認

668
00:32:20,250 --> 00:32:22,375
‎新年之後什麼都沒變

669
00:32:22,458 --> 00:32:24,583
‎節日情人的重點不就在這

670
00:32:24,666 --> 00:32:28,125
‎我們可以避開愚蠢的壓力
‎及世人的目光？

671
00:32:28,458 --> 00:32:30,250
‎至少重要的節日都過了

672
00:32:30,666 --> 00:32:33,041
‎我是說聖誕節、新年、情人節

673
00:32:33,125 --> 00:32:35,666
‎對，但是小節日一樣風險很高

674
00:32:35,750 --> 00:32:37,166
‎我有一次在地球日

675
00:32:37,250 --> 00:32:39,666
‎跟綠色和平組織的女生
‎一起被綁在樹上

676
00:32:40,083 --> 00:32:42,125
‎那是我這輩子最難熬的10天

677
00:32:44,875 --> 00:32:47,250
‎在復活節能帶對象回家應該不錯

678
00:32:47,958 --> 00:32:49,333
‎那就來真的

679
00:32:49,416 --> 00:32:51,125
‎當節日情人，除非另有通知？

680
00:32:52,041 --> 00:32:52,958
‎那床事呢？

681
00:32:53,041 --> 00:32:54,708
‎萊斯特會加入嗎？

682
00:32:54,791 --> 00:32:57,333
‎我是說真的，炮友這種事不會長久

683
00:32:57,416 --> 00:32:59,875
‎不過那是因為妳們女生會變得黏人

684
00:32:59,958 --> 00:33:01,291
‎永遠都不滿足

685
00:33:01,750 --> 00:33:03,208
‎-我們？
‎-對啊

686
00:33:03,291 --> 00:33:04,416
‎這不是妳的錯

687
00:33:04,500 --> 00:33:07,583
‎女人天生就會依附及繁衍後代

688
00:33:07,666 --> 00:33:09,833
‎男人天生只會落荒而逃

689
00:33:09,916 --> 00:33:11,458
‎好，那就講好了

690
00:33:11,791 --> 00:33:13,791
‎從現在開始成為不上床的節日情人

691
00:33:19,000 --> 00:33:19,833
‎我要…

692
00:33:20,416 --> 00:33:21,458
‎椰子脆片

693
00:33:30,625 --> 00:33:32,250
‎-乾杯
‎-乾杯

694
00:33:37,041 --> 00:33:39,416
‎我喝不下了，對不起

695
00:33:39,500 --> 00:33:41,000
‎我可以

696
00:33:41,083 --> 00:33:42,708
‎好，這才像話

697
00:33:46,291 --> 00:33:48,000
‎-羅伊
‎-羅伊

698
00:33:53,916 --> 00:33:54,833
‎約克？

699
00:33:55,500 --> 00:33:57,041
‎靠，不是吧

700
00:33:58,000 --> 00:33:59,583
‎老兄，搞什麼？

701
00:33:59,666 --> 00:34:01,291
‎-你好嗎，兄弟？
‎-你好

702
00:34:01,375 --> 00:34:03,291
‎等等，你們彼此認識？

703
00:34:03,375 --> 00:34:05,208
‎等等，你們彼此認識？

704
00:34:05,708 --> 00:34:07,291
‎對，這就是我弟

705
00:34:07,375 --> 00:34:10,250
‎傑克已經教了我一年多的高爾夫球

706
00:34:10,333 --> 00:34:11,208
‎你會打高爾夫？

707
00:34:11,291 --> 00:34:12,666
‎妳認識我之後才開始的

708
00:34:13,875 --> 00:34:16,208
‎好，傑克森，這位是我的未婚妻莉莎

709
00:34:16,291 --> 00:34:17,916
‎-你好
‎-還是叫莉莎吧？

710
00:34:18,375 --> 00:34:20,208
‎-這是我姊艾比
‎-你好

711
00:34:20,291 --> 00:34:22,166
‎-還有她隱形的老公，彼得
‎-你好

712
00:34:22,250 --> 00:34:24,000
‎-彼得呢？
‎-幸會

713
00:34:24,083 --> 00:34:27,416
‎他還是不放心把小孩交給保姆
‎我一直安撫他

714
00:34:27,500 --> 00:34:29,291
‎兩歲的小孩會報警了

715
00:34:30,458 --> 00:34:31,458
‎我開玩笑的

716
00:34:32,625 --> 00:34:34,708
‎但六歲小孩一定可以

717
00:34:34,791 --> 00:34:36,916
‎別管我姊，她生了四個小孩

718
00:34:37,916 --> 00:34:39,875
‎天啊，我生了四個小孩，真嚇人

719
00:34:39,958 --> 00:34:41,583
‎妳聽起來需要來杯酒

720
00:34:41,666 --> 00:34:43,750
‎-很多杯才夠
‎-需要兩個人去拿

721
00:34:43,833 --> 00:34:45,291
‎也給我一杯

722
00:34:48,375 --> 00:34:49,958
‎他就是賣場那個男的？

723
00:34:50,041 --> 00:34:51,250
‎-對
‎-他好帥

724
00:34:51,333 --> 00:34:53,125
‎-真的嗎？
‎-你們談好什麼條件？

725
00:34:53,208 --> 00:34:55,333
‎是炮友的關係？

726
00:34:55,416 --> 00:34:56,541
‎沒有打炮

727
00:34:56,625 --> 00:34:58,000
‎我們連朋友都不算

728
00:34:58,083 --> 00:35:00,208
‎我們從不講話，只過節

729
00:35:00,291 --> 00:35:01,500
‎那有什麼意義？

730
00:35:02,208 --> 00:35:05,041
‎意義是有人陪我一起來

731
00:35:05,125 --> 00:35:06,416
‎我玩得很開心

732
00:35:06,875 --> 00:35:08,791
‎妳不用在吧台旁推銷我

733
00:35:08,875 --> 00:35:11,458
‎把我的電話號碼硬塞給每一個男人

734
00:35:11,541 --> 00:35:12,833
‎說到這個

735
00:35:13,625 --> 00:35:14,958
‎如果妳收到陌生簡訊

736
00:35:15,041 --> 00:35:16,625
‎-叫李羅伊的
‎-拜託

737
00:35:16,708 --> 00:35:17,750
‎他是保鏢

738
00:35:18,291 --> 00:35:19,875
‎你們知道約克有打高爾夫嗎？

739
00:35:20,791 --> 00:35:21,625
‎-知道
‎-知道

740
00:35:43,375 --> 00:35:44,708
‎為了慶祝復活節

741
00:35:44,791 --> 00:35:46,500
‎傑克森會首次品嘗

742
00:35:46,583 --> 00:35:49,833
‎-七號藍色色素
‎-不要，有人做過實驗

743
00:35:49,916 --> 00:35:52,333
‎這東西放在太陽下曬十年都不會分解

744
00:35:52,416 --> 00:35:53,583
‎-真的嗎？
‎-真的

745
00:35:53,666 --> 00:35:55,000
‎所以這會抗衰老

746
00:35:56,625 --> 00:35:58,375
‎跳跳復活節快樂，我的小兔崽子

747
00:35:59,291 --> 00:36:00,375
‎這位是黑蘇斯

748
00:36:00,458 --> 00:36:03,708
‎-我看得出來你扮什麼
‎-妳這身裝扮是怎麼回事？

749
00:36:04,333 --> 00:36:05,208
‎兔寶寶耳朵

750
00:36:05,625 --> 00:36:09,208
‎這是復活節早午餐
‎不是做愚蠢打扮的時刻

751
00:36:09,958 --> 00:36:12,041
‎我跳…

752
00:36:12,125 --> 00:36:14,125
‎看來還有人不清楚穿著要求

753
00:36:17,041 --> 00:36:18,750
‎法魯克

754
00:36:19,166 --> 00:36:21,000
‎好開心你趕到了

755
00:36:21,083 --> 00:36:22,583
‎謝謝，抱歉我遲到了

756
00:36:22,666 --> 00:36:23,916
‎我在巡房

757
00:36:24,000 --> 00:36:25,666
‎兒童癌症病房

758
00:36:26,916 --> 00:36:28,500
‎我喜歡毛茸茸的男人

759
00:36:29,000 --> 00:36:29,875
‎謝謝

760
00:36:30,250 --> 00:36:32,875
‎你記得我女兒絲隆嗎？

761
00:36:33,416 --> 00:36:34,458
‎妳好，當然記得

762
00:36:34,833 --> 00:36:36,333
‎妳本人更漂亮

763
00:36:36,416 --> 00:36:38,125
‎謝謝

764
00:36:38,208 --> 00:36:40,583
‎-我是傑克森，幸會
‎-你好

765
00:36:40,666 --> 00:36:42,750
‎-我喜歡你的兔子裝
‎-抱歉，法魯克

766
00:36:43,291 --> 00:36:45,583
‎我們不曉得絲隆會帶客人來

767
00:36:45,958 --> 00:36:46,791
‎是嗎？

768
00:36:46,875 --> 00:36:48,625
‎因為我明確提到

769
00:36:48,708 --> 00:36:49,958
‎我會攜伴

770
00:36:50,041 --> 00:36:51,666
‎妳這人有什麼毛病？

771
00:36:52,791 --> 00:36:53,916
‎妳才是…

772
00:36:55,833 --> 00:36:57,166
‎我去跟孩子們打招呼

773
00:37:00,000 --> 00:37:01,083
‎看到妳幹的好事嗎？

774
00:37:01,166 --> 00:37:04,083
‎-他現在覺得妳對他沒興趣
‎-我是沒興趣

775
00:37:04,166 --> 00:37:07,541
‎真不敢相信妳要在復活節
‎把我跟兔子…湊成一對

776
00:37:07,625 --> 00:37:09,500
‎那是因為我在乎妳

777
00:37:09,583 --> 00:37:12,333
‎我想要妳找個真正有潛力的人

778
00:37:13,375 --> 00:37:16,333
‎不要像妳阿姨找什麼節日情人

779
00:37:17,916 --> 00:37:19,833
‎她看起來很開心

780
00:37:22,041 --> 00:37:24,166
‎-得分
‎-她會孤伶伶地死去

781
00:37:24,250 --> 00:37:26,250
‎坐著輪椅還包尿布

782
00:37:26,916 --> 00:37:28,041
‎妳想要這樣嗎？

783
00:37:29,833 --> 00:37:31,500
‎我可以請男護士嗎？

784
00:37:35,125 --> 00:37:38,083
‎黛西，妳跟會分妳果汁的李維
‎進展如何？

785
00:37:38,458 --> 00:37:39,500
‎我們分手了

786
00:37:39,833 --> 00:37:41,458
‎很遺憾聽妳這麼說

787
00:37:41,541 --> 00:37:42,583
‎沒關係

788
00:37:42,666 --> 00:37:45,041
‎他還沒準備好談真正的感情

789
00:37:45,125 --> 00:37:47,333
‎我要能把我放在第一位的人

790
00:37:47,916 --> 00:37:48,750
‎先走囉

791
00:37:50,875 --> 00:37:51,750
‎老天

792
00:37:52,000 --> 00:37:53,833
‎她身心真健全

793
00:37:57,458 --> 00:37:58,375
‎妳知道…

794
00:37:59,041 --> 00:38:00,333
‎兔子醫生

795
00:38:00,416 --> 00:38:01,458
‎看起來不錯

796
00:38:02,375 --> 00:38:04,375
‎-也許妳應該試試
‎-真的嗎？

797
00:38:04,875 --> 00:38:05,833
‎頭髮茂密

798
00:38:06,666 --> 00:38:07,500
‎醫生

799
00:38:08,458 --> 00:38:10,416
‎顯然對孩子很有一套，這…

800
00:38:11,458 --> 00:38:12,833
‎是每個女孩的夢想，對吧？

801
00:38:13,875 --> 00:38:14,875
‎我不曉得

802
00:38:14,958 --> 00:38:15,833
‎或許吧？

803
00:38:17,083 --> 00:38:18,083
‎再說，我…

804
00:38:18,750 --> 00:38:20,375
‎-還沒準備好
‎-已經多久了？

805
00:38:20,958 --> 00:38:21,958
‎快要一年？

806
00:38:22,291 --> 00:38:23,250
‎那又怎樣？

807
00:38:23,333 --> 00:38:26,541
‎女性面對心碎的方式不同
‎我們需要時間

808
00:38:26,625 --> 00:38:28,166
‎你們甩了我們就釋懷了

809
00:38:28,250 --> 00:38:29,916
‎女人也一樣可以很冷血

810
00:38:30,000 --> 00:38:30,833
‎相信我

811
00:38:30,916 --> 00:38:32,125
‎我認識很多男性

812
00:38:32,208 --> 00:38:36,083
‎為了假裝在乎他們的女人而心碎

813
00:38:36,166 --> 00:38:37,916
‎假裝喜歡男生的朋友

814
00:38:38,000 --> 00:38:40,041
‎熱愛他的嗜好

815
00:38:40,125 --> 00:38:41,458
‎好比板球

816
00:38:41,541 --> 00:38:44,041
‎還有…西洋雙陸棋

817
00:38:44,791 --> 00:38:46,208
‎甚至更過火的是

818
00:38:46,291 --> 00:38:48,708
‎在浴室放滿整間女性用品

819
00:38:48,791 --> 00:38:51,000
‎在最意想不到的地方藏髮夾

820
00:38:51,666 --> 00:38:53,833
‎或者甚至開始探索

821
00:38:53,916 --> 00:38:57,125
‎她們從來不曾碰過的
‎某些特定性愛入口

822
00:38:59,250 --> 00:39:02,000
‎然後有一天，毫無警訊

823
00:39:02,708 --> 00:39:05,958
‎廁所被搬空，她還換了電話號碼

824
00:39:06,041 --> 00:39:08,791
‎從我家溜出去
‎還偷走我的熱壓吐司機

825
00:39:11,250 --> 00:39:12,583
‎他媽的熱壓吐司機

826
00:39:14,041 --> 00:39:14,875
‎這個嘛…

827
00:39:16,083 --> 00:39:17,541
‎熱壓吐司機很貴

828
00:39:17,625 --> 00:39:18,458
‎我知道

829
00:39:19,041 --> 00:39:20,250
‎是我出錢買的

830
00:39:25,125 --> 00:39:26,000
‎所以…

831
00:39:27,250 --> 00:39:29,541
‎我們說的是什麼性愛入口？

832
00:39:29,625 --> 00:39:31,333
‎-真要講？
‎-怎麼了？是你提起的

833
00:39:31,416 --> 00:39:32,666
‎人家很好奇嘛

834
00:39:33,833 --> 00:39:36,250
‎我們說的是“走後門”嗎？

835
00:39:38,166 --> 00:39:40,958
‎-乾
‎-乾

836
00:39:46,166 --> 00:39:47,833
‎你還沒回答我“入口”的問題

837
00:39:48,708 --> 00:39:50,333
‎大概因為這不關妳的事

838
00:39:50,916 --> 00:39:52,250
‎別賣關子

839
00:39:52,333 --> 00:39:53,833
‎會用到道具嗎？

840
00:39:53,916 --> 00:39:55,125
‎變裝？

841
00:39:55,916 --> 00:39:57,000
‎邀人同行？

842
00:39:57,083 --> 00:39:58,208
‎別猜了，拜託妳

843
00:39:58,500 --> 00:40:01,375
‎妳自己沒性生活

844
00:40:01,458 --> 00:40:03,666
‎不代表妳可以從我這裡偷學幾招

845
00:40:04,208 --> 00:40:05,875
‎我有性生活

846
00:40:06,333 --> 00:40:07,166
‎是嗎？

847
00:40:07,583 --> 00:40:08,958
‎上次上床是什麼時候？

848
00:40:09,583 --> 00:40:10,666
‎你呢？

849
00:40:11,666 --> 00:40:12,625
‎星期四

850
00:40:13,041 --> 00:40:14,291
‎星期四？

851
00:40:14,375 --> 00:40:15,250
‎跟誰？

852
00:40:16,458 --> 00:40:18,791
‎聖派翠克節的雞尾酒女侍

853
00:40:19,375 --> 00:40:20,583
‎你在聖派翠克節

854
00:40:20,666 --> 00:40:21,958
‎-勾搭上雞尾酒女侍？
‎-對

855
00:40:22,041 --> 00:40:24,375
‎-你當時跟我在一起
‎-對，她跳進我叫的車

856
00:40:24,458 --> 00:40:27,541
‎-乾
‎-乾

857
00:40:30,458 --> 00:40:34,166
‎說好的節日情人守則第一條
‎“不批評”呢？

858
00:40:34,250 --> 00:40:36,208
‎對，妳說得對，抱歉

859
00:40:36,291 --> 00:40:38,750
‎妳沒有性生活不關我的事

860
00:40:38,833 --> 00:40:40,666
‎我只是替妳感到遺憾，如此而已

861
00:40:41,333 --> 00:40:43,458
‎你替我感到遺憾？

862
00:40:46,875 --> 00:40:48,500
‎我知道你的意圖

863
00:40:48,583 --> 00:40:49,750
‎我有什麼意圖？

864
00:40:50,125 --> 00:40:53,625
‎你想洗我的腦，嚇壞我
‎最後我們就上床了

865
00:40:53,708 --> 00:40:56,291
‎-我不想跟妳上床
‎-我怎麼可能忘得了

866
00:40:56,375 --> 00:40:59,166
‎-你覺得我沒有吸引力
‎-我不是這個意思

867
00:41:00,166 --> 00:41:01,041
‎隨便你

868
00:41:01,625 --> 00:41:03,375
‎-吃虧的是你
‎-絕對是

869
00:41:03,791 --> 00:41:06,416
‎說真的，我的床上功夫人人誇

870
00:41:06,500 --> 00:41:08,708
‎對，妳很早熟

871
00:41:08,791 --> 00:41:10,166
‎12歲就會打手槍

872
00:41:10,250 --> 00:41:11,208
‎族繁不及備載

873
00:41:11,291 --> 00:41:14,791
‎這不表示我很淫盪之類的

874
00:41:14,875 --> 00:41:17,541
‎但有些人就是有天賦

875
00:41:18,458 --> 00:41:20,250
‎我剛好是其中一人

876
00:41:21,500 --> 00:41:22,916
‎我們大概永遠不會知道真相

877
00:41:23,291 --> 00:41:24,208
‎大概不會

878
00:41:24,541 --> 00:41:30,791
‎-乾
‎-乾

879
00:42:06,083 --> 00:42:06,916
‎妳好

880
00:42:07,458 --> 00:42:08,416
‎嗨

881
00:42:10,458 --> 00:42:11,833
‎妳在地板上

882
00:42:12,291 --> 00:42:13,916
‎對，我…

883
00:42:15,333 --> 00:42:17,500
‎記得從沙發上摔下來

884
00:42:17,583 --> 00:42:19,250
‎後來好像…

885
00:42:19,750 --> 00:42:22,083
‎要爬上去很費功夫

886
00:42:23,083 --> 00:42:25,166
‎那我們可能已經…

887
00:42:26,416 --> 00:42:27,375
‎沒有

888
00:42:27,666 --> 00:42:28,833
‎我們沒有

889
00:42:32,500 --> 00:42:33,916
‎妳穿著我的內褲

890
00:42:36,916 --> 00:42:38,833
‎這又不代表什麼

891
00:42:38,916 --> 00:42:41,625
‎我可能是晚上內褲滑掉

892
00:42:42,125 --> 00:42:44,833
‎太冷才穿你的

893
00:42:45,375 --> 00:42:47,458
‎少來，妳一定可以分辨

894
00:42:47,541 --> 00:42:50,750
‎-怎樣分辨？
‎-我不曉得，我又沒有陰道

895
00:42:52,708 --> 00:42:55,500
‎沒有科學跡證

896
00:42:55,750 --> 00:42:57,083
‎我的腿上沒有乾掉的東西

897
00:42:57,166 --> 00:42:59,625
‎地上沒有包裝紙

898
00:42:59,708 --> 00:43:01,375
‎如果這是你想知道的

899
00:43:03,166 --> 00:43:04,458
‎你分辨不出來嗎？

900
00:43:06,250 --> 00:43:08,208
‎它看起來有點累，不過…

901
00:43:09,041 --> 00:43:10,958
‎我覺得它不太滿足

902
00:43:11,041 --> 00:43:12,125
‎我告訴你

903
00:43:12,208 --> 00:43:13,375
‎我們沒有做

904
00:43:13,458 --> 00:43:15,541
‎我們其中一人一定看得出來

905
00:43:16,250 --> 00:43:17,833
‎很好，就維持這說法吧

906
00:43:18,083 --> 00:43:20,125
‎好，要咖啡嗎？

907
00:43:20,208 --> 00:43:21,708
‎-麻煩妳
‎-要加奶精嗎？

908
00:43:21,791 --> 00:43:23,083
‎不了，謝謝，黑咖啡就好

909
00:43:23,833 --> 00:43:24,833
‎好

910
00:43:24,916 --> 00:43:25,791
‎謝啦

911
00:43:31,958 --> 00:43:35,791
‎今天是母親節
‎這次可以不要討論我的私生活嗎？

912
00:43:35,875 --> 00:43:39,750
‎今天是我的日子，我有權知道
‎我的獨生女在搞什麼鬼

913
00:43:39,833 --> 00:43:43,666
‎-妳還有另外兩個小孩
‎-他們都死會了，我擔心的是妳

914
00:43:43,750 --> 00:43:47,208
‎我不明白你為什麼要浪費
‎我女兒的青春

915
00:43:47,291 --> 00:43:49,791
‎-搞這沒有意義的事
‎-不會沒有意義

916
00:43:49,875 --> 00:43:51,208
‎我們是…朋友

917
00:43:51,458 --> 00:43:54,041
‎她不需要多一個朋友
‎她需要的是丈夫

918
00:43:54,125 --> 00:43:55,083
‎伴侶

919
00:43:55,166 --> 00:43:57,833
‎做化療時依法必須陪在她身邊的人

920
00:43:58,500 --> 00:44:00,458
‎-什麼化療？
‎-親愛的

921
00:44:00,541 --> 00:44:01,708
‎別拿自己開玩笑

922
00:44:01,791 --> 00:44:03,291
‎家族有不良的基因

923
00:44:03,666 --> 00:44:06,916
‎光頭女生找不到約會對象的

924
00:44:07,000 --> 00:44:08,750
‎這妳不用煩惱

925
00:44:08,833 --> 00:44:10,291
‎絲隆是很棒的女生

926
00:44:10,375 --> 00:44:11,458
‎就算光頭也是

927
00:44:11,541 --> 00:44:13,416
‎那你為什麼不跟她上床？

928
00:44:14,125 --> 00:44:15,041
‎媽

929
00:44:15,125 --> 00:44:15,958
‎老天

930
00:44:16,041 --> 00:44:18,458
‎你倆試試看也無妨啊

931
00:44:18,541 --> 00:44:20,583
‎這就像法式蝸牛

932
00:44:20,916 --> 00:44:22,458
‎聽起來不吸引人

933
00:44:22,541 --> 00:44:23,750
‎樣子有點嚇人

934
00:44:23,833 --> 00:44:26,750
‎但一入口，美味到讓人驚艷

935
00:44:26,833 --> 00:44:28,916
‎或許節日情人這齣鬧劇

936
00:44:29,000 --> 00:44:30,416
‎就能開花結果

937
00:44:33,291 --> 00:44:35,041
‎妳剛剛是把跟我做愛

938
00:44:35,125 --> 00:44:37,458
‎比喻為吃蝸牛嗎？

939
00:44:38,250 --> 00:44:39,166
‎其實…

940
00:44:40,166 --> 00:44:41,375
‎她說得有道理

941
00:44:41,458 --> 00:44:43,291
‎我也只是說說

942
00:44:43,375 --> 00:44:46,333
‎我聽說這裡的廁所很不錯

943
00:44:49,750 --> 00:44:50,708
‎這裡…

944
00:44:51,416 --> 00:44:54,083
‎這裡用的是不是埃及棉的毛巾？

945
00:44:54,166 --> 00:44:55,083
‎很好清理

946
00:44:56,375 --> 00:44:58,416
‎不好意思，請問最近的女廁在哪？

947
00:44:58,500 --> 00:45:00,333
‎-那邊往左走
‎-謝謝

948
00:45:02,958 --> 00:45:03,833
‎要一起去嗎？

949
00:45:03,916 --> 00:45:04,750
‎那當然

950
00:45:04,833 --> 00:45:06,833
‎你們還真搞笑

951
00:45:07,208 --> 00:45:08,750
‎母親節快樂，媽

952
00:45:08,833 --> 00:45:09,958
‎這是為了妳

953
00:45:13,083 --> 00:45:14,166
‎我覺得她上鉤了

954
00:45:14,250 --> 00:45:15,250
‎當然

955
00:45:15,791 --> 00:45:17,458
‎你們不好笑囉

956
00:45:22,208 --> 00:45:23,500
‎（國慶日煙火）

957
00:45:23,583 --> 00:45:25,208
‎這些夠嗎？

958
00:45:25,291 --> 00:45:26,458
‎總是個開始

959
00:45:30,000 --> 00:45:31,291
‎再見，老公，小心開車

960
00:45:31,375 --> 00:45:33,291
‎再見，我愛妳，沒問題

961
00:45:33,375 --> 00:45:35,666
‎-再見，媽
‎-再見，媽

962
00:45:37,125 --> 00:45:38,750
‎開始狂歡吧

963
00:45:39,166 --> 00:45:41,416
‎-副駕駛座是我的
‎-不是先說先贏

964
00:45:41,833 --> 00:45:42,958
‎看來就是先說先贏

965
00:45:43,041 --> 00:45:45,208
‎不要，我不要跟他坐後面

966
00:45:45,291 --> 00:45:46,166
‎山姆大叔？

967
00:45:46,250 --> 00:45:47,208
‎他不會怎樣

968
00:45:47,916 --> 00:45:49,750
‎但我們說好這是閨蜜之旅

969
00:45:49,833 --> 00:45:51,583
‎他有青光眼，不能開車

970
00:45:52,083 --> 00:45:53,416
‎莉莎，快點上車

971
00:45:58,583 --> 00:45:59,916
‎那股味道

972
00:46:00,791 --> 00:46:01,958
‎那是大麻嗎？

973
00:46:02,416 --> 00:46:03,541
‎這是醫療用的

974
00:46:03,916 --> 00:46:05,250
‎治療坐骨神經痛

975
00:46:06,291 --> 00:46:08,041
‎我超愛大麻，可以給我一口嗎？

976
00:46:08,416 --> 00:46:11,541
‎我們要去彼得家團聚，尊重人家吧

977
00:46:11,625 --> 00:46:14,041
‎莉莎，這是妳單身的最後日子

978
00:46:14,125 --> 00:46:15,541
‎不要那麼拘謹

979
00:46:15,875 --> 00:46:17,041
‎山姆，給她來一口

980
00:46:17,125 --> 00:46:20,250
‎我才不要用嘴唇碰那東西
‎我可是新娘

981
00:46:20,333 --> 00:46:21,583
‎小小抽一口不會怎樣

982
00:46:21,666 --> 00:46:23,916
‎老奶奶跟癌症病人都抽大麻，莉莎

983
00:46:24,000 --> 00:46:25,000
‎對嘛

984
00:46:25,083 --> 00:46:27,166
‎-為了孩子們抽一口吧
‎-孩子們

985
00:46:27,958 --> 00:46:28,875
‎好吧

986
00:46:31,416 --> 00:46:32,500
‎我什麼感覺都沒有

987
00:46:33,500 --> 00:46:34,958
‎妳沒吸進去，再試一次

988
00:46:35,375 --> 00:46:36,375
‎好吧

989
00:46:44,625 --> 00:46:45,625
‎沒事

990
00:46:45,875 --> 00:46:47,375
‎還是沒感覺

991
00:46:48,791 --> 00:46:49,708
‎真可惜

992
00:46:52,166 --> 00:46:53,000
‎你們大家

993
00:46:53,083 --> 00:46:54,000
‎住手

994
00:46:59,500 --> 00:47:01,416
‎-天佑美國
‎-對

995
00:47:08,458 --> 00:47:11,291
‎我大概是那種
‎毒品在身上沒有作用的人

996
00:47:11,833 --> 00:47:13,125
‎對，妳就是

997
00:47:13,208 --> 00:47:14,791
‎完全沒起作用

998
00:47:16,625 --> 00:47:17,833
‎-好了沒？
‎-要丟出去

999
00:47:17,916 --> 00:47:19,541
‎-等燒到最後
‎-丟

1000
00:47:23,125 --> 00:47:26,458
‎-炸東西就是要這樣
‎-愛死汽油彈的味道

1001
00:47:26,541 --> 00:47:29,000
‎男人為什麼這麼愛炸東西？

1002
00:47:30,291 --> 00:47:31,791
‎都跟老二有關

1003
00:47:31,875 --> 00:47:35,791
‎煙火跟男人的…構造有什麼關係？

1004
00:47:36,208 --> 00:47:38,125
‎這就跟自慰一樣

1005
00:47:38,208 --> 00:47:41,208
‎男人畢生追求高潮

1006
00:47:41,291 --> 00:47:44,375
‎他們不是在上床，就是想著要上床

1007
00:47:44,666 --> 00:47:46,083
‎或者把東西炸翻天

1008
00:47:46,583 --> 00:47:48,333
‎這是僅次於性愛更棒的事

1009
00:47:50,125 --> 00:47:52,041
‎所以他們都在下面

1010
00:47:52,125 --> 00:47:53,500
‎想著…

1011
00:47:55,125 --> 00:47:55,958
‎做愛

1012
00:47:57,625 --> 00:48:00,291
‎-說出來沒關係，莉莎
‎-我不用說出來

1013
00:48:01,125 --> 00:48:02,291
‎我覺得要

1014
00:48:02,375 --> 00:48:04,083
‎別鬧她了

1015
00:48:04,166 --> 00:48:06,750
‎不行，她都快結婚了

1016
00:48:06,833 --> 00:48:08,666
‎她要學會表達自己

1017
00:48:08,750 --> 00:48:11,208
‎不要這麼壓抑自我

1018
00:48:11,708 --> 00:48:13,125
‎快點，說出來

1019
00:48:13,208 --> 00:48:14,250
‎做愛

1020
00:48:14,333 --> 00:48:15,375
‎不要

1021
00:48:16,583 --> 00:48:17,750
‎快說“做愛”

1022
00:48:18,125 --> 00:48:19,166
‎不要

1023
00:48:19,916 --> 00:48:20,875
‎做愛

1024
00:48:20,958 --> 00:48:22,041
‎不要

1025
00:48:22,458 --> 00:48:23,375
‎做愛

1026
00:48:24,875 --> 00:48:26,208
‎做愛

1027
00:48:26,541 --> 00:48:28,250
‎妳們滿意了嗎？

1028
00:48:31,458 --> 00:48:33,083
‎幹

1029
00:48:33,166 --> 00:48:34,875
‎幹他媽的

1030
00:48:35,291 --> 00:48:36,250
‎各位

1031
00:48:36,875 --> 00:48:39,000
‎我們有急救箱嗎？

1032
00:48:39,083 --> 00:48:40,666
‎可能有繃帶吧，怎麼了？

1033
00:48:40,750 --> 00:48:42,083
‎傑克森他…

1034
00:48:43,166 --> 00:48:45,291
‎他剛把手指頭炸掉了，一點點

1035
00:48:45,375 --> 00:48:46,666
‎天啊

1036
00:48:48,875 --> 00:48:51,541
‎好，大家保持冷靜

1037
00:48:51,625 --> 00:48:53,833
‎莉莎，去拿冰塊跟夾鍊袋

1038
00:48:54,500 --> 00:48:56,750
‎約克，去找東西來做止血帶

1039
00:48:57,416 --> 00:48:58,833
‎有撿到斷指嗎？

1040
00:48:59,833 --> 00:49:01,750
‎大夥，麻煩動作加快

1041
00:49:01,833 --> 00:49:03,166
‎我們非找到手指不可

1042
00:49:03,625 --> 00:49:04,541
‎找到了

1043
00:49:04,625 --> 00:49:05,625
‎-太好了
‎-真棒

1044
00:49:05,708 --> 00:49:06,541
‎讚啦

1045
00:49:07,666 --> 00:49:08,500
‎眼睛真利

1046
00:49:11,000 --> 00:49:12,125
‎你確定那是我的？

1047
00:49:12,208 --> 00:49:14,250
‎他嚇到了，快送他去醫院

1048
00:49:14,333 --> 00:49:16,583
‎-我帶他去
‎-不行，你喝醉了，我帶他去

1049
00:49:16,666 --> 00:49:18,166
‎我們在路上可以去速食店

1050
00:49:18,250 --> 00:49:19,958
‎-妳很嗨？
‎-沒有，你有嗎？

1051
00:49:20,041 --> 00:49:21,916
‎好，彼得很清醒，你來載他

1052
00:49:22,000 --> 00:49:24,333
‎-小孩有我們顧
‎-好

1053
00:49:24,416 --> 00:49:25,833
‎你們這些小鬼頭會踩水嗎？

1054
00:49:25,916 --> 00:49:26,916
‎-會
‎-會

1055
00:49:27,000 --> 00:49:29,375
‎我絕對不會把小孩交給這些窩囊廢

1056
00:49:29,458 --> 00:49:30,750
‎好主意，天啊

1057
00:49:30,833 --> 00:49:32,708
‎-好
‎-拜託不要叫我載

1058
00:49:32,791 --> 00:49:35,541
‎我怕血，妳知道的，我也怕車、怕血

1059
00:49:35,625 --> 00:49:36,791
‎我知道

1060
00:49:36,875 --> 00:49:38,416
‎-不要
‎-妳可以的

1061
00:49:38,500 --> 00:49:40,375
‎快去，深呼吸

1062
00:49:41,583 --> 00:49:43,041
‎你不會有事的，兄弟

1063
00:49:44,291 --> 00:49:45,916
‎這是我他媽的手指

1064
00:49:46,750 --> 00:49:49,000
‎-我不能失去手指
‎-絲隆，祝妳順利

1065
00:49:49,083 --> 00:49:51,666
‎-他的手指就掌握在妳手裡
‎-別這麼說

1066
00:49:56,916 --> 00:49:59,458
‎老子要痛死了

1067
00:49:59,916 --> 00:50:01,958
‎抱歉，是不是真的很痛？

1068
00:50:02,041 --> 00:50:03,833
‎-不會，就跟被紙割到一樣
‎-真的嗎？

1069
00:50:03,916 --> 00:50:05,333
‎當然不是

1070
00:50:05,416 --> 00:50:06,583
‎不要對我大吼

1071
00:50:06,666 --> 00:50:09,708
‎我開車會緊張，嚴格說來沒有駕照

1072
00:50:09,791 --> 00:50:12,041
‎-妳沒有駕照？
‎-我以前有

1073
00:50:12,125 --> 00:50:14,166
‎前陣子過期了

1074
00:50:14,250 --> 00:50:17,125
‎天殺的，我的手指在該死的夾鍊袋裡

1075
00:50:17,208 --> 00:50:20,333
‎我知道，我嚇壞了
‎你可以先放到置物箱嗎？

1076
00:50:20,416 --> 00:50:22,458
‎可千萬別嚇到妳，是吧？

1077
00:50:24,041 --> 00:50:26,583
‎-妳姊抽大麻？
‎-我的包包裡有打火機

1078
00:50:27,000 --> 00:50:28,125
‎我不吸毒

1079
00:50:28,208 --> 00:50:30,166
‎你好意思自稱職業運動員？

1080
00:50:30,541 --> 00:50:32,083
‎-小心
‎-天啊

1081
00:50:32,166 --> 00:50:34,166
‎慢下來，往右

1082
00:50:34,875 --> 00:50:35,708
‎有灌木

1083
00:50:36,208 --> 00:50:37,583
‎絲隆，有沒有搞錯？

1084
00:50:38,083 --> 00:50:39,208
‎有車

1085
00:50:42,458 --> 00:50:44,125
‎他們為什麼不直接叫優步？

1086
00:50:45,375 --> 00:50:46,958
‎藍伯特醫師請至手術室

1087
00:50:47,041 --> 00:50:48,916
‎藍伯特醫師請立即至手術室

1088
00:50:54,041 --> 00:50:54,875
‎天啊

1089
00:50:57,041 --> 00:50:58,291
‎放鬆點

1090
00:50:58,708 --> 00:51:00,958
‎一切都在我的掌握之中

1091
00:51:01,458 --> 00:51:03,625
‎你連手指頭都不用抬一下

1092
00:51:05,166 --> 00:51:06,416
‎有沒有搞錯？

1093
00:51:11,833 --> 00:51:13,416
‎我累到沒辦法檢舉你們

1094
00:51:14,000 --> 00:51:17,000
‎-謝了
‎-對不起

1095
00:51:18,333 --> 00:51:20,916
‎我說真的，我看過妳

1096
00:51:22,583 --> 00:51:23,458
‎我只是…

1097
00:51:24,250 --> 00:51:27,000
‎我只是沒辦法指出妳是誰

1098
00:51:31,250 --> 00:51:33,791
‎醫生馬上過來，他在幫人接腳趾

1099
00:51:33,875 --> 00:51:34,750
‎腳趾？

1100
00:51:35,250 --> 00:51:36,208
‎等一下

1101
00:51:36,291 --> 00:51:38,916
‎手指一定比腳趾還重要

1102
00:51:39,000 --> 00:51:40,333
‎抱歉

1103
00:51:40,416 --> 00:51:43,250
‎誰叫你不早一點做蠢事呢

1104
00:51:46,333 --> 00:51:47,166
‎真嗆

1105
00:51:47,791 --> 00:51:49,416
‎你真的左右了她的情緒

1106
00:51:49,500 --> 00:51:51,750
‎全靠一根手指頭

1107
00:51:55,291 --> 00:51:56,833
‎好

1108
00:51:57,291 --> 00:51:58,125
‎法魯克

1109
00:51:59,708 --> 00:52:00,541
‎絲隆

1110
00:52:00,625 --> 00:52:01,958
‎妳受傷了嗎？

1111
00:52:02,041 --> 00:52:03,500
‎-妳沒事吧？
‎-你好

1112
00:52:03,583 --> 00:52:04,416
‎妳好

1113
00:52:05,125 --> 00:52:08,125
‎我沒事，我不曉得
‎你在這麼遠的醫院工作

1114
00:52:08,208 --> 00:52:10,833
‎一般來說沒有
‎他們叫我過來接合小趾頭

1115
00:52:12,041 --> 00:52:13,416
‎好厲害

1116
00:52:14,041 --> 00:52:16,041
‎那是很重要的趾骨

1117
00:52:16,125 --> 00:52:17,375
‎別說了

1118
00:52:19,541 --> 00:52:21,833
‎你的工作真的很了不起

1119
00:52:21,916 --> 00:52:23,208
‎讓人佩服

1120
00:52:25,500 --> 00:52:26,833
‎我只是盡本份

1121
00:52:26,916 --> 00:52:27,916
‎-對
‎-對

1122
00:52:30,416 --> 00:52:33,583
‎妳沒聯絡我讓我有點失望

1123
00:52:33,875 --> 00:52:37,625
‎我也很失望沒能看到我最愛的兔子裝

1124
00:52:37,708 --> 00:52:39,666
‎對，傑克森

1125
00:52:39,750 --> 00:52:40,750
‎復活節那位

1126
00:52:41,666 --> 00:52:43,458
‎拿仙女棒手滑了，是嗎？

1127
00:52:43,541 --> 00:52:45,333
‎那其實是水鴛鴦

1128
00:52:47,875 --> 00:52:48,958
‎這會很痛

1129
00:52:49,708 --> 00:52:50,833
‎皮膚有點燒焦

1130
00:52:52,291 --> 00:52:55,083
‎但是骨頭看起來沒有碎

1131
00:52:55,166 --> 00:52:56,250
‎太棒了

1132
00:52:56,333 --> 00:52:57,666
‎好，先等一下

1133
00:52:58,166 --> 00:52:59,875
‎我們準備送你進手術室

1134
00:52:59,958 --> 00:53:01,916
‎-你可以救他的手指，他可以救你
‎-這個…

1135
00:53:02,125 --> 00:53:03,000
‎等下就知道

1136
00:53:03,666 --> 00:53:04,625
‎手指交叉祈禱吧

1137
00:53:06,791 --> 00:53:08,000
‎這場子真難搞

1138
00:53:11,041 --> 00:53:12,166
‎好

1139
00:53:12,250 --> 00:53:13,375
‎我們到了

1140
00:53:13,458 --> 00:53:14,291
‎你沒事吧？

1141
00:53:14,375 --> 00:53:16,583
‎這裡要脫鞋嗎？

1142
00:53:17,208 --> 00:53:18,041
‎好

1143
00:53:18,416 --> 00:53:20,250
‎你的處方籤用藥在這

1144
00:53:20,333 --> 00:53:21,166
‎謝謝

1145
00:53:21,916 --> 00:53:24,666
‎街尾的餐館會送湯給你

1146
00:53:26,500 --> 00:53:27,500
‎還有…

1147
00:53:28,583 --> 00:53:30,458
‎-我打給你媽
‎-真的嗎？她…

1148
00:53:30,875 --> 00:53:31,916
‎她怎麼說？

1149
00:53:32,000 --> 00:53:34,166
‎她沒接電話，我留了訊息

1150
00:53:34,625 --> 00:53:35,541
‎好

1151
00:53:35,625 --> 00:53:38,750
‎我跟她說你出了點小意外
‎可能該打個電話給你

1152
00:53:39,291 --> 00:53:40,250
‎謝了

1153
00:53:42,666 --> 00:53:45,666
‎很抱歉我毀了妳的國慶日

1154
00:53:47,041 --> 00:53:48,500
‎節日情人守則第三條

1155
00:53:48,708 --> 00:53:50,375
‎“不能拋下節日情人不管”

1156
00:53:51,083 --> 00:53:52,791
‎殘肢也不行

1157
00:54:07,083 --> 00:54:09,416
‎你可能該休息了

1158
00:54:09,500 --> 00:54:11,625
‎對，是該休息了

1159
00:54:13,583 --> 00:54:14,708
‎除非…

1160
00:54:15,375 --> 00:54:16,791
‎你還需要些什麼？

1161
00:54:19,958 --> 00:54:21,458
‎沒有，應該不用

1162
00:54:23,333 --> 00:54:24,708
‎我不會有事的

1163
00:54:27,750 --> 00:54:29,041
‎我真的好累

1164
00:54:30,000 --> 00:54:30,958
‎好

1165
00:54:31,666 --> 00:54:33,958
‎那我就先走囉

1166
00:54:35,125 --> 00:54:36,541
‎好，沒問題

1167
00:54:41,916 --> 00:54:42,750
‎再見

1168
00:55:13,666 --> 00:55:14,791
‎我們的手碰到了

1169
00:55:16,458 --> 00:55:17,458
‎真要命

1170
00:55:19,750 --> 00:55:20,791
‎有用保護措施嗎？

1171
00:55:20,875 --> 00:55:23,333
‎我說真的，有一股電流

1172
00:55:23,416 --> 00:55:24,541
‎電流很正點

1173
00:55:25,291 --> 00:55:27,166
‎老天，我想念來電的感覺

1174
00:55:27,250 --> 00:55:28,666
‎對，但現在很怪

1175
00:55:28,750 --> 00:55:32,583
‎比不曉得他的老二
‎有沒有進過妳體內還怪嗎？

1176
00:55:32,666 --> 00:55:36,083
‎對，因為來電可能是動了真感情

1177
00:55:36,166 --> 00:55:38,333
‎我要跟你說感覺有了很大的轉變

1178
00:55:38,416 --> 00:55:40,583
‎已經不是…柏拉圖式的感情

1179
00:55:40,666 --> 00:55:43,083
‎你這下慘了，快爬出泥沼

1180
00:55:43,166 --> 00:55:45,375
‎不行，她弟弟的婚禮就在勞動節

1181
00:55:45,458 --> 00:55:47,333
‎我實在搞不懂

1182
00:55:47,666 --> 00:55:50,500
‎妳喜歡他，他喜歡妳
‎那就不是真正的問題

1183
00:55:50,583 --> 00:55:51,625
‎有問題

1184
00:55:51,708 --> 00:55:55,375
‎我不能喜歡他
‎除非我知道他是真正喜歡我

1185
00:55:55,458 --> 00:55:58,708
‎你不能跟真的對你有好感的女生
‎一起參加婚禮

1186
00:55:58,791 --> 00:56:00,375
‎她們會開始胡思亂想

1187
00:56:00,458 --> 00:56:03,041
‎聽我說，兄弟
‎我以黑人的身分說這些話

1188
00:56:03,125 --> 00:56:05,708
‎別去，不要

1189
00:56:05,791 --> 00:56:07,750
‎勞動節嚴格說來也算節日

1190
00:56:07,833 --> 00:56:09,291
‎我們說好要當節日情人

1191
00:56:09,375 --> 00:56:10,791
‎婚禮勝過節日

1192
00:56:10,875 --> 00:56:12,125
‎這你懂吧？

1193
00:56:12,791 --> 00:56:15,958
‎男人討厭婚禮
‎就算婚禮是在節日舉行，對吧？

1194
00:56:16,041 --> 00:56:18,416
‎如果他沒有找藉口不去

1195
00:56:18,791 --> 00:56:19,958
‎那答案就呼之欲出了

1196
00:56:20,833 --> 00:56:22,541
‎我要邀他參加婚禮

1197
00:56:22,625 --> 00:56:25,708
‎叫她找別人，可能會有後續發展的人

1198
00:56:26,125 --> 00:56:27,166
‎算是幫她一個忙

1199
00:56:29,166 --> 00:56:30,291
‎那我要帶誰去？

1200
00:56:31,750 --> 00:56:34,250
‎帶一個對婚禮不屑一顧的人

1201
00:56:34,708 --> 00:56:35,958
‎我有事

1202
00:56:41,083 --> 00:56:43,250
‎今天不是節日，你打來幹嘛？

1203
00:56:43,333 --> 00:56:45,333
‎這是急事，要是妳不幫我

1204
00:56:45,416 --> 00:56:47,875
‎我只好送約克跟莉莎禮物卡
‎當結婚禮物

1205
00:56:48,333 --> 00:56:49,333
‎妳覺得這個怎樣？

1206
00:56:52,166 --> 00:56:54,000
‎又醜又不適合

1207
00:56:54,083 --> 00:56:56,625
‎居家用品店的枕頭飾套還買得到

1208
00:56:56,708 --> 00:56:58,791
‎男生才不會賣飾套送人

1209
00:56:59,083 --> 00:57:00,666
‎這主要是給莉莎的

1210
00:57:01,291 --> 00:57:02,458
‎妳說得有道理

1211
00:57:02,958 --> 00:57:05,708
‎我其實在想…

1212
00:57:05,791 --> 00:57:08,625
‎說實在的，我沒料到會受邀

1213
00:57:09,291 --> 00:57:12,333
‎所以我不太知道這邊的作法

1214
00:57:12,416 --> 00:57:14,208
‎這是婚禮，但…

1215
00:57:14,291 --> 00:57:15,625
‎但也是節日

1216
00:57:15,708 --> 00:57:18,000
‎對，我…也想過了

1217
00:57:19,541 --> 00:57:20,375
‎真的嗎？

1218
00:57:20,958 --> 00:57:21,833
‎太好了

1219
00:57:21,916 --> 00:57:22,875
‎是嗎？

1220
00:57:23,333 --> 00:57:25,750
‎那我就鬆了一口氣

1221
00:57:25,833 --> 00:57:26,833
‎我也是

1222
00:57:27,208 --> 00:57:29,208
‎-那我們…
‎-那我們就各自攜伴

1223
00:57:30,833 --> 00:57:31,666
‎攜伴？

1224
00:57:32,375 --> 00:57:34,000
‎對啊

1225
00:57:34,458 --> 00:57:35,458
‎攜伴，對吧？

1226
00:57:36,750 --> 00:57:38,458
‎對，攜伴

1227
00:57:39,291 --> 00:57:40,958
‎-其他…人
‎-好極了

1228
00:57:49,916 --> 00:57:51,666
‎注意，大家先圍過來

1229
00:57:51,750 --> 00:57:53,250
‎我有話要說

1230
00:57:53,500 --> 00:57:54,416
‎可以嗎？

1231
00:57:54,500 --> 00:57:56,291
‎首先，莉莎的父母

1232
00:57:56,458 --> 00:57:59,791
‎我是否該叫“爸媽”？
‎謝謝你們舉辦這完美的婚禮

1233
00:58:01,125 --> 00:58:03,458
‎最重要的是，我漂亮的新娘

1234
00:58:04,000 --> 00:58:05,166
‎和命運女神

1235
00:58:05,791 --> 00:58:09,291
‎要是我那天沒搭錯車
‎我們永遠不會認識

1236
00:58:10,333 --> 00:58:11,833
‎但我們是在派對上認識的？

1237
00:58:11,916 --> 00:58:13,083
‎我愛妳，寶貝

1238
00:58:13,166 --> 00:58:15,041
‎-乾杯
‎-乾杯

1239
00:58:16,666 --> 00:58:17,791
‎敬我們

1240
00:58:18,208 --> 00:58:19,375
‎我們成功了

1241
00:58:24,291 --> 00:58:26,250
‎真不敢相信他帶她參加婚禮

1242
00:58:26,333 --> 00:58:28,166
‎畢竟他們根本互不認識

1243
00:58:28,875 --> 00:58:30,500
‎承認吧，真的很怪

1244
00:58:30,583 --> 00:58:32,208
‎-妳得承認
‎-我不…

1245
00:58:32,291 --> 00:58:35,125
‎但他們都是單身的性感男女
‎其實還好

1246
00:58:35,208 --> 00:58:37,458
‎她是家人，男生是朋友

1247
00:58:42,583 --> 00:58:44,500
‎-別鬧了
‎-什麼？

1248
00:58:46,541 --> 00:58:47,541
‎真的很怪

1249
00:58:47,625 --> 00:58:51,208
‎因為絲隆看到血就怕
‎但她居然跟醫生在一起

1250
00:58:52,166 --> 00:58:53,708
‎他的手肯定刷得很乾淨

1251
00:58:53,791 --> 00:58:55,000
‎妳覺得他帥嗎？

1252
00:58:55,083 --> 00:58:57,416
‎這個啊，臉八分，手十分

1253
00:59:01,166 --> 00:59:02,833
‎-對女人來說…
‎-別鬧了

1254
00:59:02,916 --> 00:59:04,875
‎手才是關鍵

1255
00:59:04,958 --> 00:59:05,833
‎嘿

1256
00:59:08,333 --> 00:59:09,708
‎-妳看
‎-怎樣？

1257
00:59:13,250 --> 00:59:14,666
‎我知道，別弄我

1258
00:59:15,291 --> 00:59:18,208
‎他們可能只是朋友
‎她這是友誼的表現，對吧？

1259
00:59:21,541 --> 00:59:22,625
‎沒感覺嗎？

1260
00:59:23,583 --> 00:59:25,750
‎隨便，我不在乎

1261
00:59:30,708 --> 00:59:31,541
‎這…

1262
00:59:35,000 --> 00:59:35,833
‎沒有

1263
00:59:36,208 --> 00:59:37,416
‎我什麼感覺也沒有

1264
00:59:40,291 --> 00:59:41,416
‎完全沒知覺

1265
00:59:42,833 --> 00:59:44,416
‎我再去拿酒

1266
00:59:45,416 --> 00:59:46,458
‎伊蓮

1267
00:59:46,541 --> 00:59:48,541
‎-恭喜
‎-謝謝你

1268
00:59:48,625 --> 00:59:51,291
‎你終於幫自己找了另一個節日情人

1269
00:59:51,375 --> 00:59:52,875
‎我女兒被醫生…

1270
00:59:53,458 --> 00:59:54,708
‎追走了

1271
00:59:59,708 --> 01:00:00,541
‎謝謝

1272
01:00:04,875 --> 01:00:05,708
‎香檳

1273
01:00:08,250 --> 01:00:09,291
‎婚禮很精彩

1274
01:00:10,166 --> 01:00:11,250
‎非常動人

1275
01:00:14,833 --> 01:00:15,791
‎玩得愉快

1276
01:00:16,125 --> 01:00:17,750
‎你會跟她上床嗎？

1277
01:00:18,833 --> 01:00:19,791
‎很難說

1278
01:00:19,875 --> 01:00:22,416
‎我們應該會先吃甜點

1279
01:00:22,500 --> 01:00:23,833
‎所以你可能跟她上床？

1280
01:00:24,125 --> 01:00:25,625
‎這不關妳的事

1281
01:00:25,708 --> 01:00:27,333
‎我們有血緣關係，就關我的事

1282
01:00:27,416 --> 01:00:28,708
‎妳要跟醫生上床嗎？

1283
01:00:29,833 --> 01:00:32,041
‎他救了你的手指
‎這是我能盡的綿薄之意

1284
01:00:32,125 --> 01:00:33,333
‎他搞砸了

1285
01:00:33,416 --> 01:00:35,208
‎我還是不能好好比中指

1286
01:00:35,291 --> 01:00:37,833
‎幸好蘇珊阿姨的眼力沒這麼好了

1287
01:00:38,416 --> 01:00:39,791
‎妳明明說我的手指沒這麼慘

1288
01:00:39,875 --> 01:00:41,500
‎我只是客套

1289
01:00:41,583 --> 01:00:43,458
‎別再幫我的忙了

1290
01:00:43,541 --> 01:00:45,291
‎這樣吧，你也是

1291
01:00:45,375 --> 01:00:48,125
‎事實上，我們該重新思考
‎節日情人這回事

1292
01:00:48,208 --> 01:00:49,208
‎或許有這必要

1293
01:00:49,291 --> 01:00:50,750
‎-很好
‎-很好

1294
01:00:51,125 --> 01:00:53,208
‎-好極了
‎-棒呆了

1295
01:00:53,416 --> 01:00:57,000
‎終於等到了我們都期待的時刻

1296
01:01:01,333 --> 01:01:03,000
‎溫馨的父女之舞

1297
01:01:09,000 --> 01:01:10,541
‎這是怎麼回事？

1298
01:01:10,833 --> 01:01:12,708
‎他們知道這首歌的內容嗎？

1299
01:01:15,208 --> 01:01:16,750
‎這不是她爸嗎？

1300
01:01:17,625 --> 01:01:19,625
‎太不恰當了吧

1301
01:01:24,375 --> 01:01:25,583
‎他們沒搞錯吧？

1302
01:01:26,208 --> 01:01:28,333
‎婚禮影片會很慘

1303
01:01:28,416 --> 01:01:30,333
‎對，得有人去跟他們說

1304
01:01:30,416 --> 01:01:31,833
‎太奇怪了，是她爸爸耶

1305
01:01:32,541 --> 01:01:33,375
‎說真的

1306
01:01:34,291 --> 01:01:35,916
‎-不是我們去講
‎-走吧，沒問題的

1307
01:01:39,333 --> 01:01:41,125
‎-不好意思
‎-婚禮很溫馨，先生

1308
01:01:42,375 --> 01:01:43,708
‎-妳好
‎-你好

1309
01:01:44,750 --> 01:01:45,666
‎約克

1310
01:01:48,583 --> 01:01:49,458
‎對

1311
01:02:27,875 --> 01:02:28,708
‎慘了

1312
01:02:29,875 --> 01:02:31,083
‎我外甥女

1313
01:02:37,666 --> 01:02:38,625
‎你好

1314
01:02:59,000 --> 01:03:00,125
‎妳沒事吧？

1315
01:03:00,500 --> 01:03:01,416
‎現在沒事了

1316
01:03:07,166 --> 01:03:08,666
‎患處要冰敷

1317
01:03:15,000 --> 01:03:16,416
‎想好怎麼過萬聖節了嗎？

1318
01:03:16,500 --> 01:03:17,625
‎在計畫了

1319
01:03:19,291 --> 01:03:21,375
‎-不給糖就搗蛋
‎-不給糖就搗蛋

1320
01:03:29,666 --> 01:03:31,583
‎絲隆，別把巧克力吃光了

1321
01:03:31,666 --> 01:03:33,208
‎妳會肚子痛

1322
01:03:35,125 --> 01:03:36,125
‎好了沒？吸氣

1323
01:03:36,708 --> 01:03:38,375
‎好了，搞定了

1324
01:03:39,166 --> 01:03:40,041
‎天啊

1325
01:03:40,708 --> 01:03:44,000
‎我好興奮，這是我生完孩子後
‎第一次參加成人派對

1326
01:03:44,083 --> 01:03:45,500
‎彼得不能來，妳會難過嗎？

1327
01:03:45,583 --> 01:03:47,916
‎今晚跟平常一樣

1328
01:03:48,000 --> 01:03:50,333
‎-好了沒？吸氣
‎-老天

1329
01:03:52,458 --> 01:03:55,583
‎萬聖節變裝什麼時候
‎從扮公主變成扮妓女的？

1330
01:03:55,666 --> 01:03:57,000
‎不曉得，六年級吧？

1331
01:03:57,500 --> 01:03:58,375
‎妓女是什麼？

1332
01:03:59,791 --> 01:04:02,083
‎跟男生玩就有錢拿的人

1333
01:04:02,166 --> 01:04:03,666
‎我想當妓女

1334
01:04:04,041 --> 01:04:04,916
‎我也是

1335
01:04:05,750 --> 01:04:08,666
‎好，那要記得，五成歸妓院

1336
01:04:12,000 --> 01:04:15,000
‎原來這就是把服裝
‎交給傑克森處理的結果

1337
01:04:16,750 --> 01:04:17,583
‎這給妳

1338
01:04:17,666 --> 01:04:19,875
‎-這什麼？
‎-預防性制酸劑

1339
01:04:19,958 --> 01:04:21,250
‎假裝是糖果吃下去

1340
01:04:26,833 --> 01:04:28,833
‎我的服裝在這裡最潮

1341
01:04:28,916 --> 01:04:31,416
‎你看，這套服裝真棒

1342
01:04:31,500 --> 01:04:32,583
‎我很帥，對吧？

1343
01:04:32,666 --> 01:04:34,458
‎我很帥，快說我很帥

1344
01:04:34,541 --> 01:04:35,791
‎你的樣子超荒謬

1345
01:04:35,875 --> 01:04:38,416
‎會嚇到人，但不是因為模樣恐怖

1346
01:04:38,500 --> 01:04:40,125
‎你對我有意見，傑克史派羅？

1347
01:04:40,208 --> 01:04:42,875
‎我可是黑豹耶，瓦干達萬歲

1348
01:04:42,958 --> 01:04:46,958
‎-你一點也不像黑豹
‎-我不一樣，這是我的版本

1349
01:04:47,041 --> 01:04:50,875
‎停止仇恨，我就是想穿這套衣服
‎這是我的特權

1350
01:04:50,958 --> 01:04:53,375
‎-再說，我不用穿內褲
‎-大家好啊

1351
01:04:53,458 --> 01:04:54,333
‎妳好

1352
01:04:54,416 --> 01:04:55,916
‎很好…剛剛好

1353
01:04:57,166 --> 01:04:58,166
‎無可挑剔

1354
01:05:01,250 --> 01:05:03,541
‎-尼爾，這是我姊艾比
‎-你好

1355
01:05:07,250 --> 01:05:10,625
‎阿囉，今天好嗎
‎我漂亮的德國小野貓？

1356
01:05:13,125 --> 01:05:15,083
‎不了，謝謝

1357
01:05:17,916 --> 01:05:19,250
‎黑豹出巡

1358
01:05:20,291 --> 01:05:21,375
‎妳要去哪，寶貝？

1359
01:05:22,291 --> 01:05:23,125
‎要喝一杯嗎？

1360
01:05:23,208 --> 01:05:24,916
‎-馬上給我
‎-兩瓶，謝謝

1361
01:05:25,583 --> 01:05:27,750
‎-天啊
‎-原來妳在這

1362
01:05:27,833 --> 01:05:29,708
‎我一直在找妳，妳在玩欲擒故縱

1363
01:05:29,791 --> 01:05:32,291
‎我等下再過來，她想得到我，想死了

1364
01:05:32,375 --> 01:05:34,416
‎快問我下面有什麼？什麼都沒有

1365
01:05:34,500 --> 01:05:35,625
‎過來，小妞

1366
01:05:41,125 --> 01:05:42,750
‎莉莎，這派對真精彩，恭喜

1367
01:05:42,833 --> 01:05:46,333
‎這簡直是災難一場
‎誰會在場地放這麼多乾冰？

1368
01:05:46,416 --> 01:05:49,083
‎但很好玩，很嚇人又…

1369
01:05:49,625 --> 01:05:51,333
‎我喜歡妳的服裝

1370
01:05:51,416 --> 01:05:54,583
‎我好難為情
‎我們應該扮埃及豔后跟馬克安東尼的

1371
01:05:54,666 --> 01:05:56,458
‎不給糖就搗蛋，狂歡男女

1372
01:05:56,916 --> 01:05:58,500
‎你扮演什麼角色？

1373
01:05:58,583 --> 01:05:59,750
‎馬克安東尼

1374
01:06:01,708 --> 01:06:03,083
‎拉丁歌手？

1375
01:06:04,791 --> 01:06:06,000
‎珍妮佛羅培茲的老公？

1376
01:06:06,083 --> 01:06:07,625
‎他們早就分手了

1377
01:06:07,708 --> 01:06:09,208
‎新歡是艾力士羅德里奎茲

1378
01:06:12,833 --> 01:06:14,500
‎妳邀路克來？

1379
01:06:14,583 --> 01:06:15,791
‎大家好

1380
01:06:16,833 --> 01:06:19,500
‎-萬聖節快樂
‎-我喜歡這套蕩婦裝

1381
01:06:20,333 --> 01:06:21,666
‎謝謝

1382
01:06:21,750 --> 01:06:24,166
‎妳的也很棒，這肚子好逼真

1383
01:06:24,250 --> 01:06:26,541
‎超像懷孕了

1384
01:06:26,625 --> 01:06:28,625
‎-不像假的
‎-不是假的？

1385
01:06:28,708 --> 01:06:29,791
‎不是假的

1386
01:06:31,208 --> 01:06:32,083
‎預產期是兩天後

1387
01:06:32,500 --> 01:06:34,166
‎我沒辦法要她待在家

1388
01:06:34,250 --> 01:06:37,166
‎我說過了，寶貝
‎這孩子不會改變我們的生活

1389
01:06:41,708 --> 01:06:43,000
‎還真可愛呢

1390
01:06:43,083 --> 01:06:44,041
‎謝謝

1391
01:06:44,125 --> 01:06:45,208
‎天啊

1392
01:06:45,708 --> 01:06:46,541
‎懷孕了

1393
01:06:48,583 --> 01:06:50,250
‎-她懷孕了
‎-我知道

1394
01:06:50,333 --> 01:06:51,833
‎她很可愛

1395
01:06:51,916 --> 01:06:54,458
‎-要喝點什麼嗎？我們過去拿
‎-恭喜

1396
01:06:54,541 --> 01:06:57,416
‎-謝謝
‎-恭喜

1397
01:06:57,500 --> 01:06:58,875
‎-太感謝妳了
‎-謝謝

1398
01:06:58,958 --> 01:07:00,083
‎我替你感到非常開心

1399
01:07:02,041 --> 01:07:04,375
‎懷孕？她居然懷孕了？

1400
01:07:04,458 --> 01:07:07,541
‎怎麼可能？她才剛結束青春期吧

1401
01:07:07,625 --> 01:07:08,750
‎天啊

1402
01:07:08,833 --> 01:07:11,458
‎-我不舒服
‎-好，妳需要喝一杯

1403
01:07:11,541 --> 01:07:14,333
‎不，我真的不舒服

1404
01:07:14,833 --> 01:07:18,500
‎我吃了大概50根迷你糖果棒
‎一整桶的玉米糖

1405
01:07:18,583 --> 01:07:21,291
‎我的前男友還搞大青少女的肚子

1406
01:07:21,375 --> 01:07:23,208
‎親愛的，再吃一顆制酸劑

1407
01:07:23,291 --> 01:07:24,208
‎妳還好嗎？

1408
01:07:25,083 --> 01:07:25,916
‎不好

1409
01:07:26,708 --> 01:07:27,958
‎不好，可以嗎？

1410
01:07:28,291 --> 01:07:31,291
‎誰叫我讓你去找這種刑求裝
‎害得我這麼難受

1411
01:07:32,958 --> 01:07:35,458
‎-要我帶妳回家嗎？
‎-好

1412
01:07:36,750 --> 01:07:38,250
‎沒關係，我帶她回去

1413
01:07:38,333 --> 01:07:41,041
‎不用，我可以，只是…

1414
01:07:41,125 --> 01:07:43,083
‎-你願意的話…
‎-沒關係

1415
01:07:43,166 --> 01:07:46,083
‎-你不用這麼做
‎-節日情人守則第三條

1416
01:07:46,166 --> 01:07:48,166
‎不能拋下節日情人不管，走吧

1417
01:07:56,833 --> 01:07:57,833
‎好

1418
01:07:58,708 --> 01:07:59,708
‎好，下車吧，親愛的

1419
01:08:00,291 --> 01:08:02,083
‎走吧

1420
01:08:02,750 --> 01:08:04,375
‎你就別管我了

1421
01:08:05,333 --> 01:08:08,125
‎-好，不行，我們走吧，好了嗎？
‎-拜託別管我

1422
01:08:08,208 --> 01:08:10,208
‎-一、二、三
‎-不要

1423
01:08:11,333 --> 01:08:12,333
‎好

1424
01:08:12,416 --> 01:08:13,500
‎來吧

1425
01:08:13,583 --> 01:08:14,750
‎快到家了

1426
01:08:17,583 --> 01:08:18,583
‎天啊

1427
01:08:18,833 --> 01:08:21,416
‎-今天是萬聖節
‎-對，所以才要變裝

1428
01:08:21,500 --> 01:08:24,750
‎二月、三月、四月、五月
‎六月、七月、八月、九月、十月

1429
01:08:25,000 --> 01:08:26,041
‎他們在

1430
01:08:26,125 --> 01:08:27,916
‎情人節上床的

1431
01:08:28,500 --> 01:08:30,375
‎大家都會在情人節上床

1432
01:08:30,458 --> 01:08:32,666
‎我就沒有！

1433
01:08:33,208 --> 01:08:34,208
‎我也沒有

1434
01:08:34,291 --> 01:08:37,625
‎他們根本還不認識彼此
‎就開始亂搞了

1435
01:08:37,708 --> 01:08:39,291
‎亂七八糟，走吧，快點

1436
01:08:39,375 --> 01:08:41,708
‎天啊，好丟臉

1437
01:08:41,791 --> 01:08:44,708
‎-相信我，我看過更慘的
‎-怎麼可能比我慘？

1438
01:08:44,791 --> 01:08:46,333
‎-對
‎-我肚子痛

1439
01:08:46,500 --> 01:08:48,125
‎-可以再給我一顆嗎？
‎-好

1440
01:08:51,500 --> 01:08:52,375
‎完了

1441
01:08:52,458 --> 01:08:53,291
‎（緩釋輕瀉劑）

1442
01:09:01,041 --> 01:09:02,083
‎幫我解開

1443
01:09:02,833 --> 01:09:04,791
‎-什麼？
‎-別多問

1444
01:09:04,875 --> 01:09:06,000
‎快幫我解開

1445
01:09:06,083 --> 01:09:07,083
‎快點

1446
01:09:08,041 --> 01:09:11,458
‎-綁帶，快點
‎-怎麼這麼複雜？

1447
01:09:12,000 --> 01:09:13,458
‎我很努力了，正在想辦法解開

1448
01:09:15,458 --> 01:09:16,291
‎直接扯破吧

1449
01:09:16,750 --> 01:09:17,750
‎好，快…

1450
01:09:17,833 --> 01:09:20,166
‎直接扯破

1451
01:09:20,250 --> 01:09:22,875
‎快把我的褲子扯破

1452
01:09:31,666 --> 01:09:34,666
‎-這比魔術機關還難解開
‎-都是你害的

1453
01:09:36,000 --> 01:09:38,166
‎天啊

1454
01:09:38,250 --> 01:09:40,416
‎拜託不要讓我發生這種事

1455
01:09:40,500 --> 01:09:41,458
‎靠

1456
01:09:42,833 --> 01:09:45,375
‎不要讓我拉在褲子上

1457
01:09:45,458 --> 01:09:48,125
‎快，我快解開了…

1458
01:09:49,000 --> 01:09:50,250
‎快脫掉

1459
01:09:51,333 --> 01:09:52,875
‎-要命，快點
‎-開門

1460
01:09:53,375 --> 01:09:55,583
‎-妳可以的，快點，我們可以的
‎-靠

1461
01:09:56,875 --> 01:09:59,166
‎-來，妳不會有事的，快好了
‎-放開我

1462
01:09:59,250 --> 01:10:01,208
‎-等一下
‎-等不了

1463
01:10:03,458 --> 01:10:04,666
‎好了

1464
01:10:05,208 --> 01:10:06,458
‎慘了

1465
01:10:08,666 --> 01:10:09,916
‎來得及嗎？

1466
01:10:10,625 --> 01:10:12,250
‎走開

1467
01:10:13,583 --> 01:10:14,500
‎走開

1468
01:10:28,083 --> 01:10:29,125
‎不要看我

1469
01:10:29,208 --> 01:10:30,541
‎我沒有看

1470
01:10:59,333 --> 01:11:00,666
‎薄荷茶

1471
01:11:01,250 --> 01:11:02,375
‎可以舒緩反胃的症狀

1472
01:11:03,666 --> 01:11:05,125
‎我居然有薄荷茶？

1473
01:11:06,166 --> 01:11:07,000
‎算是有

1474
01:11:07,083 --> 01:11:10,250
‎我把薄荷糖壓碎放進滾水而已

1475
01:11:15,875 --> 01:11:16,791
‎我猜這下…

1476
01:11:17,416 --> 01:11:20,208
‎我會成為你在派對上講的笑話了吧？

1477
01:11:21,166 --> 01:11:22,416
‎有個女的…

1478
01:11:24,541 --> 01:11:25,958
‎有個女的…

1479
01:11:28,875 --> 01:11:30,958
‎有個女的在萬聖節拉在褲子上？

1480
01:11:31,458 --> 01:11:32,916
‎天啊

1481
01:11:37,083 --> 01:11:38,000
‎其實

1482
01:11:38,583 --> 01:11:39,458
‎嚴格說來…

1483
01:11:40,625 --> 01:11:43,333
‎我們從出生就一直拉在褲子上

1484
01:11:49,458 --> 01:11:51,666
‎別擔心，好嗎？我不會說出去的

1485
01:11:52,708 --> 01:11:53,666
‎我保證

1486
01:12:00,958 --> 01:12:01,791
‎謝謝

1487
01:13:11,416 --> 01:13:14,625
‎我討厭電影裡的情侶在早上接吻

1488
01:13:15,833 --> 01:13:17,375
‎我覺得很噁心

1489
01:14:47,625 --> 01:14:48,458
‎太驚人了

1490
01:14:49,875 --> 01:14:50,708
‎是啊

1491
01:14:53,125 --> 01:14:54,625
‎我們可能應該…

1492
01:14:56,208 --> 01:14:58,041
‎你想先走也沒關係

1493
01:15:00,375 --> 01:15:01,416
‎妳要我先走？

1494
01:15:05,916 --> 01:15:08,458
‎我是說如果你想走的話啦

1495
01:15:09,666 --> 01:15:12,625
‎不用覺得你非留下不可

1496
01:15:13,708 --> 01:15:14,791
‎非留不可？

1497
01:15:16,750 --> 01:15:18,958
‎萬聖節過了，不是嗎？

1498
01:15:21,458 --> 01:15:22,291
‎對

1499
01:15:23,166 --> 01:15:24,375
‎萬聖節過了

1500
01:15:44,916 --> 01:15:46,666
‎好，我來了

1501
01:15:49,375 --> 01:15:50,916
‎我親了黑豹

1502
01:15:51,000 --> 01:15:52,666
‎-什麼？
‎-黑豹

1503
01:15:53,208 --> 01:15:54,291
‎我親了他

1504
01:15:54,375 --> 01:15:56,000
‎我們在排隊

1505
01:15:56,375 --> 01:15:59,500
‎排廁所時，事情就這樣發生了

1506
01:15:59,583 --> 01:16:00,416
‎我們接吻了

1507
01:16:00,916 --> 01:16:01,916
‎舌吻嗎？

1508
01:16:03,041 --> 01:16:06,458
‎天啊，我好糟糕，要下地獄一千次

1509
01:16:06,541 --> 01:16:10,208
‎-妳不糟糕
‎-天啊，我就是

1510
01:16:10,291 --> 01:16:12,916
‎我是糟糕的人妻兼人母

1511
01:16:13,000 --> 01:16:15,666
‎我嫁給一個無可挑剔的聖人

1512
01:16:15,750 --> 01:16:18,291
‎彼得是全世界最棒的男人

1513
01:16:18,375 --> 01:16:20,000
‎我居然這樣對他？

1514
01:16:20,625 --> 01:16:22,083
‎我討厭我自己

1515
01:16:22,416 --> 01:16:24,500
‎-別這樣…
‎-我真不敢相信

1516
01:16:24,583 --> 01:16:29,041
‎我親了黑豹

1517
01:16:32,708 --> 01:16:33,708
‎早安，艾比

1518
01:16:39,791 --> 01:16:40,708
‎你好

1519
01:16:43,208 --> 01:16:45,958
‎我剛在跟絲隆說我昨晚的夢

1520
01:16:46,041 --> 01:16:47,041
‎好

1521
01:16:48,583 --> 01:16:49,875
‎我要走了

1522
01:16:52,250 --> 01:16:53,083
‎等一下

1523
01:16:56,500 --> 01:16:57,625
‎你們上床了

1524
01:16:58,916 --> 01:17:00,000
‎我們沒有

1525
01:17:00,416 --> 01:17:01,333
‎沒有嗎？

1526
01:17:04,708 --> 01:17:06,000
‎我該走了，好

1527
01:17:06,083 --> 01:17:07,500
‎不，妳留下來

1528
01:17:07,583 --> 01:17:08,416
‎妳的夢

1529
01:17:08,500 --> 01:17:11,375
‎好像讓妳很難過

1530
01:17:12,375 --> 01:17:14,291
‎對，妳留下，我走吧

1531
01:17:19,666 --> 01:17:20,583
‎好嗎？

1532
01:17:25,875 --> 01:17:26,708
‎好

1533
01:17:28,333 --> 01:17:29,208
‎再見

1534
01:17:30,250 --> 01:17:32,333
‎再見，感恩節見

1535
01:17:36,333 --> 01:17:37,583
‎剛剛是怎麼回事？

1536
01:17:38,666 --> 01:17:39,958
‎怎樣？

1537
01:17:40,375 --> 01:17:41,500
‎沒事

1538
01:17:42,000 --> 01:17:43,041
‎我去沖咖啡

1539
01:17:43,125 --> 01:17:45,000
‎她把我趕出門

1540
01:17:45,833 --> 01:17:47,500
‎你是說她甚至不想跟你相依偎？

1541
01:17:47,958 --> 01:17:49,583
‎-抱抱？
‎-不要

1542
01:17:49,666 --> 01:17:50,791
‎吃早午餐？

1543
01:17:52,250 --> 01:17:53,708
‎我連咖啡都沒喝到

1544
01:17:54,875 --> 01:17:56,208
‎真慘，老兄，太傷人了

1545
01:17:57,458 --> 01:17:59,041
‎從來沒有人要我離開

1546
01:17:59,125 --> 01:18:00,500
‎兄弟，我感同身受

1547
01:18:00,583 --> 01:18:03,750
‎我跟艾比心靈相通，她也沒打給我

1548
01:18:05,166 --> 01:18:07,333
‎你知道她對我說的
‎最後一句話是什麼嗎？

1549
01:18:07,875 --> 01:18:09,416
‎“感恩節再見”

1550
01:18:09,958 --> 01:18:12,750
‎彷彿上了床對她毫無意義

1551
01:18:12,833 --> 01:18:14,541
‎太冷血了，老兄

1552
01:18:15,416 --> 01:18:17,041
‎但你還是有節日情人，對吧？

1553
01:18:18,166 --> 01:18:21,833
‎-我覺得我演不下去了
‎-我是這樣想的

1554
01:18:22,541 --> 01:18:25,250
‎你感恩節照樣去她家
‎然後裝成一副沒事的樣子

1555
01:18:25,333 --> 01:18:26,166
‎好

1556
01:18:26,250 --> 01:18:27,833
‎若能讓你舒坦一點，我可以陪你

1557
01:18:29,166 --> 01:18:30,500
‎-為什麼？
‎-為什麼？

1558
01:18:31,583 --> 01:18:33,750
‎我跟艾比心靈相通，記得嗎？

1559
01:18:35,083 --> 01:18:36,208
‎-真的嗎？
‎-真的

1560
01:18:36,666 --> 01:18:38,125
‎你跟已婚

1561
01:18:38,208 --> 01:18:40,375
‎生了四個小孩的婦女心靈相通？

1562
01:18:41,000 --> 01:18:43,125
‎被你這麼一說，感覺很糟

1563
01:18:44,500 --> 01:18:46,416
‎-但要是她問起我…
‎-她不會的

1564
01:18:46,500 --> 01:18:47,625
‎對，好的

1565
01:18:48,041 --> 01:18:49,750
‎-但要是她問起…
‎-她不會的

1566
01:18:49,833 --> 01:18:50,958
‎真傷人

1567
01:18:51,041 --> 01:18:51,958
‎好

1568
01:18:52,458 --> 01:18:54,375
‎-放下吧
‎-我很努力要放下

1569
01:18:55,000 --> 01:18:57,625
‎關了一扇門，就會有另一扇打開

1570
01:18:57,708 --> 01:18:58,750
‎是的

1571
01:18:58,833 --> 01:19:00,833
‎門關好，上鎖

1572
01:19:00,916 --> 01:19:02,333
‎-要是她問起…
‎-她不會的

1573
01:19:02,416 --> 01:19:03,333
‎我在這

1574
01:19:04,750 --> 01:19:06,666
‎妳們好啊

1575
01:19:06,750 --> 01:19:09,375
‎感恩節快樂

1576
01:19:09,458 --> 01:19:11,333
‎-感恩節快樂
‎-親親

1577
01:19:13,333 --> 01:19:15,500
‎這是我的新朋友，華倫

1578
01:19:15,916 --> 01:19:17,583
‎-華利
‎-我就是這樣說的

1579
01:19:18,125 --> 01:19:19,083
‎你好，我是艾比

1580
01:19:19,166 --> 01:19:20,500
‎-華利
‎-我是絲隆

1581
01:19:20,583 --> 01:19:21,625
‎絲隆，幸會

1582
01:19:23,125 --> 01:19:26,750
‎太好了，廚房飄來陣陣香味

1583
01:19:26,833 --> 01:19:28,416
‎我可以試吃嗎？

1584
01:19:28,500 --> 01:19:29,375
‎不行

1585
01:19:30,000 --> 01:19:30,875
‎那就等一下吧

1586
01:19:31,458 --> 01:19:33,416
‎我說過我姊做什麼都會燒焦

1587
01:19:33,500 --> 01:19:35,541
‎沒燒焦，是全熟

1588
01:19:36,583 --> 01:19:38,166
‎所以才要塗油

1589
01:19:38,541 --> 01:19:39,708
‎我沒差

1590
01:19:39,791 --> 01:19:41,791
‎我喜歡脆皮的肉

1591
01:19:47,875 --> 01:19:49,208
‎妳沒邀法魯克？

1592
01:19:49,291 --> 01:19:50,791
‎那個人啊？沒有

1593
01:19:51,750 --> 01:19:53,083
‎妳也知道我這人

1594
01:19:53,166 --> 01:19:54,833
‎一個節日情人只邀一次

1595
01:19:54,916 --> 01:19:57,125
‎但你們在一起看起來很幸福

1596
01:19:57,208 --> 01:20:00,083
‎短暫又甜蜜，親愛的
‎萬事萬物終有盡頭

1597
01:20:00,750 --> 01:20:03,083
‎何必坐等盡頭到來呢？

1598
01:20:08,708 --> 01:20:12,083
‎莉莎、約克、艾比、彼得、我

1599
01:20:12,166 --> 01:20:14,625
‎蘇珊、蘇珊的新任

1600
01:20:14,708 --> 01:20:16,375
‎我跟傑克森

1601
01:20:16,458 --> 01:20:18,333
‎妳確定他會來嗎？

1602
01:20:18,416 --> 01:20:20,083
‎我不想把桌子加長

1603
01:20:20,166 --> 01:20:21,000
‎會

1604
01:20:21,083 --> 01:20:21,916
‎他會來

1605
01:20:22,333 --> 01:20:23,875
‎他一個人來吧？

1606
01:20:24,291 --> 01:20:25,333
‎那就好

1607
01:20:25,583 --> 01:20:27,875
‎-就加長吧
‎-桌板在地下室

1608
01:20:27,958 --> 01:20:30,208
‎-媽
‎-用鋼琴椅吧

1609
01:20:30,291 --> 01:20:32,208
‎加長就對了

1610
01:20:34,083 --> 01:20:35,208
‎沒事吧？

1611
01:20:38,000 --> 01:20:39,083
‎晚餐燒焦了嗎？

1612
01:20:40,291 --> 01:20:41,500
‎我打電話叫消防車

1613
01:20:41,583 --> 01:20:43,208
‎不用，沒關係，女兒

1614
01:20:43,291 --> 01:20:45,333
‎外婆剛烤焦了火雞和餡料

1615
01:20:45,416 --> 01:20:47,291
‎希望連派也是

1616
01:20:49,000 --> 01:20:51,541
‎-是紫薯，不是地瓜
‎-好啦，我知道

1617
01:20:51,625 --> 01:20:52,791
‎還有蔓越莓醬

1618
01:20:52,875 --> 01:20:54,250
‎不要買那種自以為是

1619
01:20:54,333 --> 01:20:56,333
‎-宣稱用整顆蔓越莓的
‎-好

1620
01:20:56,416 --> 01:20:57,333
‎還要一個派

1621
01:21:02,625 --> 01:21:03,500
‎你好

1622
01:21:03,583 --> 01:21:04,416
‎妳好

1623
01:21:05,166 --> 01:21:06,083
‎你好啊

1624
01:21:08,875 --> 01:21:10,375
‎我們有甜點了

1625
01:21:10,458 --> 01:21:12,750
‎不過鄰居說不定有需要

1626
01:21:15,625 --> 01:21:17,750
‎我要去買東西，你可以…

1627
01:21:19,041 --> 01:21:19,916
‎我來開車

1628
01:21:21,833 --> 01:21:22,791
‎好

1629
01:21:37,291 --> 01:21:38,208
‎所以…

1630
01:21:39,041 --> 01:21:39,958
‎最近好嗎？

1631
01:21:40,750 --> 01:21:41,666
‎很好

1632
01:21:42,125 --> 01:21:42,958
‎很忙

1633
01:21:43,625 --> 01:21:44,500
‎妳呢？

1634
01:21:45,000 --> 01:21:45,833
‎很好

1635
01:21:46,083 --> 01:21:47,000
‎很忙

1636
01:21:48,625 --> 01:21:50,791
‎-要洋芋片嗎？
‎-妳知道我不吃垃圾食物的

1637
01:21:50,875 --> 01:21:52,625
‎這不是垃圾，這是有機的

1638
01:21:53,041 --> 01:21:55,750
‎我們要假裝什麼事都沒發生過嗎？

1639
01:21:55,833 --> 01:21:56,875
‎我可以接受

1640
01:22:00,125 --> 01:22:02,791
‎我先聲明，想走的人不是我

1641
01:22:02,875 --> 01:22:04,791
‎我沒聽到你說要留下

1642
01:22:04,875 --> 01:22:06,833
‎妳沒有給我機會說

1643
01:22:06,916 --> 01:22:08,041
‎少來了

1644
01:22:08,125 --> 01:22:10,458
‎你一開始根本不想跟我上床

1645
01:22:14,083 --> 01:22:16,041
‎來，我們走吧

1646
01:22:16,958 --> 01:22:19,166
‎你沒那麼喜歡我，你說的啊

1647
01:22:19,666 --> 01:22:21,125
‎妳幹嘛一直鑽牛角尖？

1648
01:22:22,083 --> 01:22:24,000
‎因為基本上男生一開口

1649
01:22:24,083 --> 01:22:26,500
‎就說出女生沒吸引力

1650
01:22:26,583 --> 01:22:28,583
‎這段感情就定調了

1651
01:22:31,125 --> 01:22:33,833
‎我只是在賣場出現的路人甲

1652
01:22:33,916 --> 01:22:36,250
‎老實說，如果妳聽到這些話
‎會發生什麼事？

1653
01:22:36,333 --> 01:22:38,916
‎“我覺得妳美得不像話

1654
01:22:40,625 --> 01:22:42,083
‎有著讓人…

1655
01:22:43,833 --> 01:22:45,000
‎想一親芳澤的雙唇

1656
01:22:47,916 --> 01:22:48,916
‎雙眼是這麼…

1657
01:22:50,916 --> 01:22:53,541
‎老實說，我不曉得怎麼了
‎但讓我連自己的名字都忘了”

1658
01:22:57,916 --> 01:23:00,000
‎妳一定不可能跟我約會

1659
01:23:00,500 --> 01:23:02,375
‎特別是除夕夜

1660
01:23:05,500 --> 01:23:06,500
‎所以…

1661
01:23:09,291 --> 01:23:10,625
‎這樣情況會有所改變嗎？

1662
01:23:14,666 --> 01:23:15,625
‎不會

1663
01:23:16,125 --> 01:23:17,208
‎什麼都沒變

1664
01:23:18,083 --> 01:23:19,875
‎事實上，你不用緊張

1665
01:23:19,958 --> 01:23:23,500
‎想繼續在節日之間
‎跟多少個雞尾酒女侍上床都行

1666
01:23:23,583 --> 01:23:26,500
‎沒人期望你在感恩節求婚

1667
01:23:31,375 --> 01:23:32,708
‎謝謝妳告訴我

1668
01:23:32,791 --> 01:23:34,750
‎至少這次的爛人不是我

1669
01:23:34,833 --> 01:23:37,791
‎什麼意思？你覺得我是爛人？

1670
01:23:37,875 --> 01:23:38,708
‎對

1671
01:23:39,125 --> 01:23:40,666
‎-我？
‎-對

1672
01:23:40,750 --> 01:23:44,166
‎妳努力避免自己動了感情

1673
01:23:44,250 --> 01:23:47,083
‎妳自欺欺人，所以妳是個爛人

1674
01:23:48,125 --> 01:23:50,166
‎我寧可當爛人

1675
01:23:50,250 --> 01:23:53,875
‎勝過急著想找個伴
‎結果跑去賣場找節日情人

1676
01:23:53,958 --> 01:23:54,958
‎不對

1677
01:23:55,041 --> 01:23:57,041
‎妳當時情急到接受我的提議

1678
01:23:59,708 --> 01:24:01,666
‎-你要去哪？
‎-我要走了

1679
01:24:02,875 --> 01:24:04,041
‎好，走啊

1680
01:24:04,583 --> 01:24:07,333
‎你以後一定會再穿醜聖誕毛衣

1681
01:24:12,708 --> 01:24:13,875
‎說不定有

1682
01:24:15,000 --> 01:24:17,291
‎但至少我不會孤伶伶地過

1683
01:24:17,500 --> 01:24:20,958
‎坐在兒童桌
‎把自己的問題推到別人頭上

1684
01:24:22,916 --> 01:24:24,166
‎妳知道嗎？

1685
01:24:25,083 --> 01:24:26,500
‎我拿錢跟妳賭

1686
01:24:26,583 --> 01:24:29,083
‎就算雷恩葛斯林
‎在這條食物走道悠然現身

1687
01:24:29,166 --> 01:24:33,458
‎邀妳搭上人生的列車，妳也會拒絕他

1688
01:24:36,791 --> 01:24:38,958
‎因為妳怕到不敢上車

1689
01:24:39,916 --> 01:24:41,500
‎雷恩葛斯林列車

1690
01:24:46,125 --> 01:24:48,000
‎你大錯特錯了

1691
01:24:49,916 --> 01:24:53,083
‎雷恩葛斯林才不會自己買東西

1692
01:24:55,666 --> 01:24:57,416
‎他帥到不用自己買

1693
01:25:01,125 --> 01:25:04,125
‎妳不要這麼小氣，該換新桌子了

1694
01:25:04,208 --> 01:25:05,625
‎這是媽媽的桌子

1695
01:25:05,708 --> 01:25:08,125
‎妳只是嫉妒她把桌子留給我

1696
01:25:08,750 --> 01:25:10,208
‎那是因為我不想要

1697
01:25:10,291 --> 01:25:12,000
‎我覺得這張桌子很漂亮

1698
01:25:12,083 --> 01:25:13,583
‎閉嘴，華倫

1699
01:25:13,666 --> 01:25:14,875
‎-華利
‎-華利

1700
01:25:18,125 --> 01:25:19,750
‎傑克森呢？

1701
01:25:20,291 --> 01:25:21,625
‎我不知道，也不想管

1702
01:25:21,708 --> 01:25:23,625
‎我就知道，不用加長了

1703
01:25:24,083 --> 01:25:25,708
‎天啊，絲隆，妳做了什麼？

1704
01:25:26,333 --> 01:25:28,708
‎我什麼都沒做，妳憑什麼覺得是我？

1705
01:25:29,375 --> 01:25:31,958
‎親愛的，妳總是會搞砸

1706
01:25:32,041 --> 01:25:33,666
‎或許現在道歉還不遲

1707
01:25:33,750 --> 01:25:36,458
‎-對啊，絲隆，傑克人很好
‎-先等等

1708
01:25:37,041 --> 01:25:38,625
‎憑什麼覺得是我不對？

1709
01:25:38,708 --> 01:25:42,125
‎-要是妳能對他實話實說就好了
‎-妳要我說實話？

1710
01:25:42,416 --> 01:25:44,000
‎對，說不定這次

1711
01:25:44,083 --> 01:25:47,166
‎我們就可以好好過節
‎不用因妳的私生活搞得晚餐烏煙瘴氣

1712
01:25:47,250 --> 01:25:48,625
‎我的私生活？

1713
01:25:48,708 --> 01:25:49,875
‎一團混亂

1714
01:25:49,958 --> 01:25:51,916
‎向來一團亂

1715
01:25:52,000 --> 01:25:53,583
‎好，我的“私生活”

1716
01:25:53,666 --> 01:25:56,916
‎或許一團亂，但至少我沒有親黑豹

1717
01:25:57,000 --> 01:25:58,041
‎賤女人

1718
01:25:58,416 --> 01:26:00,875
‎-黑豹是什麼？
‎-傑克森在萬聖節帶的朋友？

1719
01:26:00,958 --> 01:26:02,791
‎他扮成黑豹，非常傳神

1720
01:26:02,875 --> 01:26:05,583
‎慢著，什麼？妳親了黑豹？

1721
01:26:07,750 --> 01:26:09,666
‎差一點，那是意外

1722
01:26:09,750 --> 01:26:12,750
‎-我沒看到有人伸舌頭
‎-你看到他們接吻卻沒跟我說？

1723
01:26:12,833 --> 01:26:14,916
‎-妳守不住秘密
‎-你怎麼知道？

1724
01:26:15,000 --> 01:26:17,250
‎-你根本不了解我
‎-我當時在要糖果

1725
01:26:17,333 --> 01:26:20,583
‎我信任妳，讓妳自己去參加派對

1726
01:26:21,541 --> 01:26:23,458
‎我不管去哪裡都是自己去

1727
01:26:23,791 --> 01:26:25,833
‎你從來都沒時間陪我

1728
01:26:25,916 --> 01:26:28,583
‎-你只在意小孩
‎-我們總要有一個人犧牲

1729
01:26:28,666 --> 01:26:29,750
‎-華利
‎-華倫

1730
01:26:30,500 --> 01:26:32,291
‎-他噎到了
‎-約克，快用哈姆立克

1731
01:26:32,375 --> 01:26:34,208
‎-我不會做哈姆立克
‎-怎麼會？

1732
01:26:34,291 --> 01:26:35,750
‎讓開，我會做哈姆立克

1733
01:26:36,125 --> 01:26:38,791
‎住手，他沒有噎到，是心臟病發

1734
01:26:38,875 --> 01:26:40,166
‎誰快叫救護車

1735
01:26:40,250 --> 01:26:41,291
‎我來處理

1736
01:26:47,833 --> 01:26:50,458
‎-妳可以跟我們一起去
‎-什麼？不要，我們沒在一起

1737
01:26:50,541 --> 01:26:53,416
‎-蘇珊阿姨，快去
‎-妳得跟我一起去

1738
01:26:53,500 --> 01:26:54,458
‎-不要
‎-要

1739
01:26:54,541 --> 01:26:55,583
‎跟我去

1740
01:26:55,666 --> 01:26:56,500
‎快去

1741
01:27:01,625 --> 01:27:04,375
‎-有人會好好照顧他，我們走吧
‎-不行

1742
01:27:04,458 --> 01:27:07,625
‎妳不能離開
‎妳的約會對象剛心臟病發

1743
01:27:07,708 --> 01:27:08,958
‎我根本不認識他

1744
01:27:09,041 --> 01:27:10,750
‎我還得把他的名字寫在手上呢

1745
01:27:11,166 --> 01:27:12,041
‎妳看

1746
01:27:15,916 --> 01:27:17,291
‎這都是我不好

1747
01:27:19,375 --> 01:27:21,000
‎我有過好多次機會

1748
01:27:21,083 --> 01:27:24,041
‎有好多男人愛過我

1749
01:27:26,083 --> 01:27:28,541
‎只要他們太靠近，我就退縮了

1750
01:27:29,625 --> 01:27:31,041
‎就這樣蹉跎到現在…

1751
01:27:32,750 --> 01:27:34,916
‎49歲

1752
01:27:36,416 --> 01:27:37,541
‎什麼都來不及了

1753
01:27:37,625 --> 01:27:38,916
‎華勒斯路平斯基

1754
01:27:39,333 --> 01:27:41,375
‎路平斯基先生的家屬在嗎？

1755
01:27:44,250 --> 01:27:45,125
‎法魯克？

1756
01:27:47,666 --> 01:27:48,500
‎蘇珊

1757
01:27:51,041 --> 01:27:52,625
‎你感恩節還要工作

1758
01:27:55,041 --> 01:27:56,041
‎妳是來陪…

1759
01:27:56,875 --> 01:27:58,000
‎華勒斯路平斯基的嗎？

1760
01:28:00,083 --> 01:28:00,916
‎不是

1761
01:28:02,875 --> 01:28:03,958
‎確定嗎？因為…

1762
01:28:04,875 --> 01:28:06,375
‎他是家族友人

1763
01:28:06,458 --> 01:28:07,833
‎所以他的情況如何？

1764
01:28:09,708 --> 01:28:10,625
‎輕微心臟病發

1765
01:28:11,125 --> 01:28:12,291
‎但他不會有事的

1766
01:28:16,041 --> 01:28:17,250
‎很高興見到妳

1767
01:28:27,958 --> 01:28:30,208
‎-去跟他說說話吧
‎-我辦不到，我們走吧

1768
01:28:30,916 --> 01:28:33,666
‎不行，妳一定要開口，隨便說點…

1769
01:28:34,416 --> 01:28:35,250
‎我搞砸了

1770
01:28:37,916 --> 01:28:39,625
‎你是我認識最讓人傾心的男子

1771
01:28:40,291 --> 01:28:41,583
‎所以妳跟我分手

1772
01:28:44,958 --> 01:28:46,875
‎我會害怕，我這人就是這樣

1773
01:28:48,500 --> 01:28:50,750
‎失去你是我這輩子最蠢的錯誤

1774
01:28:52,916 --> 01:28:55,041
‎能否再給我一次機會？

1775
01:28:58,750 --> 01:28:59,750
‎我無法…

1776
01:29:02,250 --> 01:29:03,416
‎想像…

1777
01:29:04,583 --> 01:29:06,291
‎幸福的生活少了妳

1778
01:29:08,541 --> 01:29:10,041
‎-蘇珊
‎-嗯

1779
01:29:10,500 --> 01:29:11,541
‎我愛妳

1780
01:29:12,083 --> 01:29:13,375
‎我愛你

1781
01:29:45,041 --> 01:29:47,541
‎（五月五日節）

1782
01:30:12,166 --> 01:30:13,166
‎再見，兄弟

1783
01:30:40,708 --> 01:30:43,708
‎妳跟蹤他，卻沒跟他說到話？

1784
01:30:43,791 --> 01:30:49,083
‎出現在他門外不算“跟蹤”，但沒關係

1785
01:30:49,166 --> 01:30:50,625
‎我建議妳去做諮商

1786
01:30:50,708 --> 01:30:54,041
‎我跟約克終於放下偽裝
‎漸漸開始認識彼此

1787
01:30:54,125 --> 01:30:55,000
‎不了，謝謝

1788
01:30:55,083 --> 01:30:56,375
‎我喜歡我的偽裝

1789
01:31:10,791 --> 01:31:12,708
‎這是命中注定，快去追他

1790
01:31:12,791 --> 01:31:13,958
‎這才不是命中注定

1791
01:31:14,041 --> 01:31:16,291
‎這傢伙根本就以賣場為家

1792
01:31:17,250 --> 01:31:18,875
‎好，我們去買禮物吧

1793
01:31:19,583 --> 01:31:20,666
‎絲隆阿姨

1794
01:31:20,750 --> 01:31:22,333
‎生命給妳時間做決定

1795
01:31:24,958 --> 01:31:26,125
‎別搞砸了

1796
01:31:32,500 --> 01:31:33,625
‎傑克森

1797
01:31:34,416 --> 01:31:37,208
‎不好意思，先生，借過一下，傑克森

1798
01:31:38,125 --> 01:31:39,375
‎傑克森，借過

1799
01:31:41,333 --> 01:31:44,416
‎不好意思，抱歉
‎我要找那個人，借過

1800
01:31:45,208 --> 01:31:46,083
‎傑克森

1801
01:31:47,750 --> 01:31:48,833
‎傑克森

1802
01:31:50,791 --> 01:31:51,708
‎傑克森

1803
01:31:56,708 --> 01:31:57,958
‎傑克森

1804
01:31:59,750 --> 01:32:00,750
‎抱歉

1805
01:32:01,666 --> 01:32:02,958
‎借過

1806
01:32:03,041 --> 01:32:04,458
‎借過一下，傑克森

1807
01:32:10,125 --> 01:32:11,250
‎借過一下，不好意思

1808
01:32:11,333 --> 01:32:12,541
‎-傑克森
‎-女士

1809
01:32:13,875 --> 01:32:16,291
‎傑克森

1810
01:32:18,708 --> 01:32:20,708
‎-傑克森
‎-傑克森

1811
01:32:20,791 --> 01:32:22,708
‎-傑克森
‎-傑克森

1812
01:32:22,791 --> 01:32:25,250
‎傑克森

1813
01:32:30,958 --> 01:32:31,791
‎嗨

1814
01:32:35,166 --> 01:32:36,166
‎我只是…

1815
01:32:39,208 --> 01:32:40,208
‎謝謝

1816
01:32:43,500 --> 01:32:44,875
‎我只是想說我搞砸了

1817
01:32:46,500 --> 01:32:47,791
‎老天

1818
01:32:48,333 --> 01:32:49,958
‎抱歉，小朋友

1819
01:32:50,791 --> 01:32:52,000
‎在家不要學

1820
01:32:56,125 --> 01:32:57,125
‎好

1821
01:32:58,458 --> 01:32:59,625
‎我想說的是…

1822
01:33:00,583 --> 01:33:01,625
‎是…

1823
01:33:02,041 --> 01:33:03,750
‎這裡好熱

1824
01:33:05,208 --> 01:33:06,250
‎好熱

1825
01:33:07,125 --> 01:33:08,000
‎好

1826
01:33:08,708 --> 01:33:10,541
‎聽著，我要說的…

1827
01:33:11,750 --> 01:33:14,791
‎是過去一年
‎我跟你在一起度過的開心時光

1828
01:33:14,875 --> 01:33:17,416
‎比跟我所有窩囊廢前男友
‎加總起來還多

1829
01:33:21,416 --> 01:33:22,458
‎你是對的

1830
01:33:24,208 --> 01:33:25,708
‎我確實對你有好感

1831
01:33:32,083 --> 01:33:32,916
‎而我卻搞…

1832
01:33:35,250 --> 01:33:36,750
‎毀了這一切

1833
01:33:39,375 --> 01:33:40,625
‎因為我很怕

1834
01:33:42,250 --> 01:33:43,083
‎對

1835
01:33:43,166 --> 01:33:44,541
‎讓你離開

1836
01:33:44,875 --> 01:33:47,416
‎是我這輩子犯下最大的過錯

1837
01:33:52,041 --> 01:33:53,791
‎我好想你

1838
01:33:58,041 --> 01:34:00,875
‎想你想到連煙都戒了

1839
01:34:01,458 --> 01:34:04,500
‎糖果只能給我輕微的慰藉

1840
01:34:05,958 --> 01:34:08,458
‎你毀了我所有的壞習慣

1841
01:34:14,708 --> 01:34:17,083
‎我以為自己只想要節日情人

1842
01:34:19,166 --> 01:34:20,666
‎但事實上…

1843
01:34:22,125 --> 01:34:23,333
‎我只想要你

1844
01:34:24,666 --> 01:34:26,000
‎跟我度過所有的節日

1845
01:34:26,791 --> 01:34:28,000
‎還有週末

1846
01:34:28,625 --> 01:34:30,666
‎週間也在一起的話會更好

1847
01:34:34,958 --> 01:34:37,250
‎我知道自己可能來不及了

1848
01:34:37,333 --> 01:34:40,000
‎但說真的

1849
01:34:42,708 --> 01:34:45,208
‎我只想跟你一起熬過化療

1850
01:34:49,000 --> 01:34:51,250
‎不要誤會，我沒事

1851
01:34:51,666 --> 01:34:52,833
‎這說來話長

1852
01:34:58,750 --> 01:35:00,541
‎如果能讓你有所安慰的話

1853
01:35:01,875 --> 01:35:04,541
‎這真的是我這輩子最慘的感恩節

1854
01:35:10,416 --> 01:35:12,375
‎對了，那是我的開場白

1855
01:35:23,666 --> 01:35:24,750
‎不了

1856
01:35:51,958 --> 01:35:53,416
‎剛才那段話很荒唐

1857
01:36:08,333 --> 01:36:10,125
‎-約除夕夜呢？
‎-好

1858
01:36:34,208 --> 01:36:36,041
‎（歡迎蒞臨美不勝收的拉斯維加斯）

1859
01:36:36,125 --> 01:36:37,958
‎（剛再婚）

1860
01:37:09,791 --> 01:37:12,916
‎（本片終）

1861
01:43:07,666 --> 01:43:09,666
‎字幕翻譯：伍采貞



