WEBVTT FILE 1 00:00:02.000 --> 00:00:07.000 Downloaded from YTS.MX 2 00:00:06.541 --> 00:00:10.333 [spooky theremin music playing] 3 00:00:08.000 --> 00:00:13.000 Official YIFY movies site: YTS.MX 4 00:00:10.416 --> 00:00:11.375 [glass shatters] 5 00:00:11.458 --> 00:00:13.500 [carnival music playing] 6 00:00:13.583 --> 00:00:14.583 Terrific! 7 00:00:16.666 --> 00:00:19.958 [thunder rumbling] 8 00:00:25.958 --> 00:00:28.250 [wind gusting] 9 00:00:28.333 --> 00:00:31.083 -[alert buzzing] -[creaking] 10 00:00:32.125 --> 00:00:35.708 [man whistling melody] 11 00:00:42.333 --> 00:00:46.166 [man] Special delivery for Mr. Loon E. Tunes. 12 00:00:46.250 --> 00:00:48.041 [man snickers] 13 00:00:49.708 --> 00:00:50.708 Ah. 14 00:00:51.291 --> 00:00:52.458 All right. 15 00:00:53.125 --> 00:00:54.375 Catching some Z's, huh? 16 00:00:56.750 --> 00:00:58.833 Did you go pee-pee while you sleepy, huh? 17 00:00:59.708 --> 00:01:01.333 I heard you can't hold it in. 18 00:01:02.250 --> 00:01:03.291 Hartman? 19 00:01:03.833 --> 00:01:06.708 Hey, you quakin' in your boots? 20 00:01:06.791 --> 00:01:09.083 You better be, 'cause I'm your new attendant. 21 00:01:09.708 --> 00:01:10.791 The name's Hal L. 22 00:01:11.625 --> 00:01:13.000 And you're in my world now. 23 00:01:17.416 --> 00:01:19.041 [screams] Oh! 24 00:01:21.125 --> 00:01:23.333 Psycho on the loose! 25 00:01:25.250 --> 00:01:26.541 ["Monster Mash" playing] 26 00:01:26.625 --> 00:01:29.375 ♪ I was working in the lab Late one night ♪ 27 00:01:29.458 --> 00:01:33.166 ♪ When my eyes beheld an eerie sight ♪ 28 00:01:33.250 --> 00:01:36.708 ♪ For my monster from his slab Began to rise ♪ 29 00:01:36.791 --> 00:01:39.250 ♪ And suddenly to my surprise… ♪ 30 00:01:39.333 --> 00:01:40.166 Good morning! 31 00:01:40.250 --> 00:01:41.125 ♪ He did the mash ♪ 32 00:01:41.500 --> 00:01:44.291 -♪ He did the monster mash ♪ -♪ The monster mash… ♪ 33 00:01:44.916 --> 00:01:46.208 Halloween's upon us! 34 00:01:46.791 --> 00:01:48.041 ♪ He did the mash ♪ 35 00:01:48.125 --> 00:01:49.750 ♪ It caught on in a flash… ♪ 36 00:01:49.833 --> 00:01:51.666 [woman on radio] Hello, my witches and warlocks. 37 00:01:51.750 --> 00:01:53.625 It's your ghoulish DJ Aurora. 38 00:01:53.708 --> 00:01:54.875 [distorted sinister laughter] 39 00:01:54.958 --> 00:01:58.250 I hope you're ready for tomorrow night and all the spooky things that frighten. 40 00:01:58.333 --> 00:01:59.208 [woman screaming] 41 00:01:59.291 --> 00:02:00.416 I know I am. 42 00:02:01.041 --> 00:02:01.958 [kids laughing] 43 00:02:02.041 --> 00:02:02.916 [grunts] 44 00:02:03.000 --> 00:02:05.000 Hey, you missed. The yolk's on you. 45 00:02:05.083 --> 00:02:06.458 [kids grunting] 46 00:02:07.208 --> 00:02:08.458 ♪ They did the mash… ♪ 47 00:02:08.541 --> 00:02:10.041 Thanks for the free breakfast. 48 00:02:10.625 --> 00:02:11.708 ♪ The monster mash ♪ 49 00:02:12.375 --> 00:02:15.125 -♪ It was a graveyard smash ♪ -♪ They did the mash… ♪ 50 00:02:15.208 --> 00:02:16.750 Rocky Balboa style. 51 00:02:16.833 --> 00:02:18.416 [retching] 52 00:02:19.250 --> 00:02:20.833 ♪ They did the monster mash… ♪ 53 00:02:20.916 --> 00:02:23.166 I'm making the kids' costumes out of tinfoil 54 00:02:23.250 --> 00:02:25.000 'cause I'm old-school, Teresa. 55 00:02:25.083 --> 00:02:26.666 -Thanks! -[woman] Have fun! 56 00:02:27.916 --> 00:02:29.125 Violet Valentine. 57 00:02:39.875 --> 00:02:44.708 [recorded sinister laughter] 58 00:02:57.916 --> 00:02:59.750 ♪ It was a one-eyed, one-horned… ♪ 59 00:02:59.833 --> 00:03:02.000 [woman] Have a happy Halloween tomorrow, Hubie. 60 00:03:02.083 --> 00:03:05.083 You, too, Mrs. Banerjee. I hope you get more tricks than treats. 61 00:03:05.166 --> 00:03:09.583 -[Banerjee chuckles] -Okay. Number 59. Looking for 59. 62 00:03:11.375 --> 00:03:12.291 Yep! 63 00:03:14.000 --> 00:03:15.083 Right here, Pubie. 64 00:03:16.041 --> 00:03:17.791 Give me a half-pound of roast beef. 65 00:03:18.416 --> 00:03:19.291 Mr. Landolfa… 66 00:03:19.375 --> 00:03:21.708 [stammers] …Hubie. With an H. 67 00:03:21.791 --> 00:03:23.708 Not anymore. [laughs] 68 00:03:23.791 --> 00:03:24.791 [Hubie] Okay. 69 00:03:24.875 --> 00:03:27.208 Mrs. Phillips, I'll be with you in a minute. 70 00:03:27.791 --> 00:03:29.791 Is that the first girl you ever talked to, Pubie? 71 00:03:29.875 --> 00:03:33.250 Hey, no. I talk to my girlfriend all the time. 72 00:03:33.333 --> 00:03:38.250 -I've never seen you with a girlfriend. -She is a Canadian resident of Canada. 73 00:03:38.708 --> 00:03:40.583 Uh, Canada Dry region. 74 00:03:40.666 --> 00:03:43.083 [Landolfa laughing] 75 00:03:44.541 --> 00:03:45.541 Mr. O'Doyle. 76 00:03:46.333 --> 00:03:49.666 Shouldn't you and your cohort be, uh, in school right now? 77 00:03:49.750 --> 00:03:51.750 -It's Sunday, dumbass. -[Hubie mutters] 78 00:03:51.833 --> 00:03:54.000 [Landolfa] Know what? I don't want the roast beef. 79 00:03:54.083 --> 00:03:57.083 -Give me some of the lamb's head. -Lamb's head? We don't have lamb's head. 80 00:03:57.166 --> 00:03:59.333 -No? What's that right there? -Which one? 81 00:03:59.416 --> 00:04:00.333 [shrieks] 82 00:04:00.416 --> 00:04:02.958 [screams] 83 00:04:03.041 --> 00:04:04.083 [all laughing] 84 00:04:04.166 --> 00:04:05.000 Got ya! 85 00:04:06.458 --> 00:04:08.166 It's fun working with you, always. 86 00:04:08.875 --> 00:04:12.208 [oldies rock music playing] 87 00:04:13.208 --> 00:04:14.416 -[loud crash] -[man groans] 88 00:04:14.500 --> 00:04:16.625 [laughing] 89 00:04:16.708 --> 00:04:17.666 That is a good one. 90 00:04:17.750 --> 00:04:19.875 [rings, clicks] 91 00:04:19.958 --> 00:04:21.375 Hey, you got Sergeant Downey. 92 00:04:21.458 --> 00:04:23.833 Hey, Steve. It's Kenny Fonda with the Westford PD. 93 00:04:23.916 --> 00:04:26.125 -How you doin' there, Kenny? -[Kenny] Good, buddy. Good. 94 00:04:26.208 --> 00:04:28.333 Hey, I just wanted to give you a heads-up. 95 00:04:28.416 --> 00:04:31.041 We had someone escape from the psych ward up here. 96 00:04:31.125 --> 00:04:32.833 A guy from your neck of the woods. 97 00:04:32.916 --> 00:04:33.750 Richard Hartman. 98 00:04:35.666 --> 00:04:36.666 Wow, uh… 99 00:04:37.500 --> 00:04:40.416 Richie Hartman's been locked up since Carter was president. 100 00:04:40.500 --> 00:04:42.291 [Kenny] Yeah. Just thought you might wanna know 101 00:04:42.375 --> 00:04:44.375 in case he gets sentimental for his hometown. 102 00:04:44.875 --> 00:04:47.125 And didn't you testify against him, Steve? 103 00:04:47.208 --> 00:04:49.708 He doesn't strike me as a forgive-and-forget type. 104 00:04:50.583 --> 00:04:53.833 Yeah, but you know what? I hope he comes looking for me. 105 00:04:54.458 --> 00:04:56.416 'Cause he will be in a world of pain. 106 00:04:56.500 --> 00:04:57.375 -Of pain-- -[loud slam] 107 00:04:57.458 --> 00:04:59.208 -[screams gibberish] -[Kenny chuckles] 108 00:04:59.291 --> 00:05:01.166 -[Kenny] What the hell? -I gotta go, Kenny. 109 00:05:03.291 --> 00:05:05.166 -Hubie, what do you want? -Hey, Officer Steve. 110 00:05:05.250 --> 00:05:10.291 I saw Andy O'Doyle buying suspiciously massive amount of eggs and toilet paper. 111 00:05:10.375 --> 00:05:13.416 -Not a crime to buy eggs or toilet paper. -Oh, yeah. That goes without saying. 112 00:05:13.500 --> 00:05:16.291 But it doesn't take Sherlock Holmes to deduce malicious intent. 113 00:05:16.375 --> 00:05:20.458 -Okay. Yeah. -Lambardi's Pizza's doin' a sale tomorrow. 114 00:05:20.541 --> 00:05:24.500 One slice, one soda, one dollar, if you wear a costume to the shop. 115 00:05:24.583 --> 00:05:27.916 To me, that's a great deal, but it's also a riot waiting to happen. 116 00:05:28.000 --> 00:05:28.875 Call the hotline. 117 00:05:28.958 --> 00:05:30.250 I did call the hotline 100 times, 118 00:05:30.333 --> 00:05:32.708 but I think you guys got a connection problem. 119 00:05:32.791 --> 00:05:33.625 [phone rings] 120 00:05:33.708 --> 00:05:36.458 -Salem PD. -Yes. Your officer, this is Hubie Dubo-- 121 00:05:36.541 --> 00:05:37.666 [Steve clears throat] 122 00:05:39.708 --> 00:05:41.083 -Hubie, get in here. -Okay. 123 00:05:41.166 --> 00:05:42.958 -Bring it in here. Get in here. -What's up? 124 00:05:43.041 --> 00:05:45.166 Now, it's Halloween. In Salem. 125 00:05:45.250 --> 00:05:48.000 And I got a lot of real issues on my plate. 126 00:05:48.083 --> 00:05:49.416 -[Hubie] I know. -[tires screech] 127 00:05:49.500 --> 00:05:50.750 [Andy] Look who's here. 128 00:05:50.833 --> 00:05:54.250 -[boy 1] Hubie! -[boy 2] Hubie! 129 00:05:55.083 --> 00:05:56.250 -Do we do-- -Get out of here! 130 00:05:56.333 --> 00:05:57.375 Over and out-- [thuds] 131 00:05:59.041 --> 00:05:59.875 [clicks] 132 00:05:59.958 --> 00:06:01.750 -[boys clamoring] -[Andy] Guys, let's get him! 133 00:06:01.833 --> 00:06:04.333 [boys shouting] Come on! Come on! 134 00:06:04.416 --> 00:06:07.583 ♪ Happy Halloween Happy Halloween ♪ 135 00:06:08.583 --> 00:06:11.166 ♪ Happy Halloween Happy Halloween… ♪ 136 00:06:11.250 --> 00:06:12.375 [boys shouting, taunting] 137 00:06:12.458 --> 00:06:14.875 ♪ Happy Halloween Happy Halloween… ♪ 138 00:06:14.958 --> 00:06:15.833 [boy 1] Eat some shit! 139 00:06:15.916 --> 00:06:18.000 ♪ Happy Halloween Happy Halloween… ♪ 140 00:06:18.083 --> 00:06:20.000 -[boys laughing] -[boy 2] Catch this! 141 00:06:20.375 --> 00:06:24.041 -[boy 1] Go! -[boys taunting, laughing] 142 00:06:24.333 --> 00:06:26.875 ♪ Trick-or-treat Sing the song with us... ♪ 143 00:06:27.250 --> 00:06:28.083 Snitch. 144 00:06:28.166 --> 00:06:29.416 -[grunts] -[thuds] 145 00:06:29.500 --> 00:06:30.375 [Hubie] Why? 146 00:06:30.875 --> 00:06:32.958 [boys laughing, shouting] 147 00:06:33.041 --> 00:06:34.875 [boy 3] He flew like 25 feet! 148 00:06:36.708 --> 00:06:37.666 Well, hello, there. 149 00:06:38.541 --> 00:06:39.375 You need a hand? 150 00:06:43.500 --> 00:06:45.875 Boy, that was quite a tumble you took there, fella. 151 00:06:45.958 --> 00:06:46.833 Nope. That's-- 152 00:06:47.541 --> 00:06:49.708 Nothing broken, physically speaking. 153 00:06:49.791 --> 00:06:51.875 Well, it's not right what those hooligans did. 154 00:06:51.958 --> 00:06:55.125 We gotta expect a scare here or there. Kids being kids. 155 00:06:55.208 --> 00:06:58.958 -Oh, say, that's some heck of a thermos. -[Hubie] Yeah, that's my baby. 156 00:06:59.041 --> 00:07:03.250 It's kind of like a Swiss Army thermos. I made it when I was in the Scouts. 157 00:07:03.333 --> 00:07:05.333 Maybe you've had enough bike riding for one day. 158 00:07:05.416 --> 00:07:08.250 -How about if I give you a lift home? -You're not gonna have to drive far. 159 00:07:08.333 --> 00:07:10.083 'Cause I live right over here. 160 00:07:12.000 --> 00:07:13.458 Oh. 161 00:07:14.291 --> 00:07:16.166 Wow. [chuckles] 162 00:07:16.250 --> 00:07:18.125 Your kids must have helped you with all of this. 163 00:07:18.208 --> 00:07:21.041 Oh, yeah, I don't have any kids. As far as I know. 164 00:07:21.125 --> 00:07:22.250 [laughs] 165 00:07:22.333 --> 00:07:23.666 No, I definitely don't. 166 00:07:23.750 --> 00:07:25.958 I do have a girlfriend. She lives up in Canada. 167 00:07:26.041 --> 00:07:28.291 Northern section. Ontarionto. 168 00:07:28.375 --> 00:07:30.625 So, you probably couldn't find her up there. 169 00:07:31.500 --> 00:07:34.916 -Ah. Look at those purple mums. -Mom planted those. 170 00:07:35.041 --> 00:07:37.708 And you gotta love the old-school ghost you got working over there. 171 00:07:39.000 --> 00:07:40.083 [Hubie] Yep. 172 00:07:40.166 --> 00:07:41.458 Scary ghost. Yes. 173 00:07:42.083 --> 00:07:44.333 And looks like we're neighbors. 174 00:07:44.416 --> 00:07:46.625 'Cause I just moved in right there this morning. 175 00:07:46.708 --> 00:07:48.833 -[Hubie] You moved here? -I'm Walter Lambert. 176 00:07:49.416 --> 00:07:50.250 Hubie Dubois. 177 00:07:50.333 --> 00:07:52.166 It's a pleasure, Hubie. I'll tell you what. 178 00:07:52.250 --> 00:07:55.708 I'm gonna invite you and Mom over for dinner once I get my kitchen set up, 179 00:07:55.791 --> 00:07:58.083 'cause I make the best chili east side of the Rockies. 180 00:07:58.166 --> 00:08:00.625 Ooh. My belly just said yes for the both of us. 181 00:08:00.708 --> 00:08:02.125 [farts] 182 00:08:02.208 --> 00:08:04.416 And your butt just made some room. 183 00:08:04.500 --> 00:08:07.875 They must've got loosened out of me with the landing. 184 00:08:07.958 --> 00:08:09.583 -It's-- it's fine. It's natural. -It is. 185 00:08:09.666 --> 00:08:10.541 -Yeah. -Thanks. 186 00:08:10.625 --> 00:08:12.875 Anyway, you take care, Hubie. All right? 187 00:08:12.958 --> 00:08:15.166 -Yeah. -And have a happy Halloween. 188 00:08:15.250 --> 00:08:16.541 Oh, and Hubie. 189 00:08:17.375 --> 00:08:19.375 If you ever hear some commotion 190 00:08:19.458 --> 00:08:22.458 coming from my house, it's nothing to be concerned about. 191 00:08:22.541 --> 00:08:25.458 So, you don't need to come over and check on me or anything. 192 00:08:25.541 --> 00:08:27.500 In fact, it's important that you don't. 193 00:08:29.166 --> 00:08:30.375 Sure thing, Mr. Lambert. 194 00:08:31.625 --> 00:08:32.458 Walter. 195 00:08:35.083 --> 00:08:36.000 Hey, I'm home. 196 00:08:36.541 --> 00:08:39.458 -[shrieking laughter] -[Hubie screams] Ah! No! Ah! 197 00:08:39.541 --> 00:08:41.208 [skeleton warbles] 198 00:08:41.291 --> 00:08:44.333 [woman] Did that darn skeleton frighten you again, Hubie? 199 00:08:44.416 --> 00:08:48.291 No! I was just practicing yelling, Mom. Everything's good. 200 00:08:48.375 --> 00:08:52.875 Oh, dear boy. This town is making you so jittery. 201 00:08:52.958 --> 00:08:54.291 It just breaks my heart. 202 00:08:54.375 --> 00:08:56.500 I'm fine. Is that a new shirt? 203 00:08:57.541 --> 00:09:01.250 Mrs. Banerjee and I went to the thrift store today. 204 00:09:01.333 --> 00:09:03.791 Guess how much? Fifty cents! 205 00:09:03.875 --> 00:09:06.791 "Boner donor?" Now, what does that even mean? 206 00:09:06.875 --> 00:09:10.000 Well, I think boner's another word for a mistake. 207 00:09:10.583 --> 00:09:14.083 Like, I made a big boner in math class. 208 00:09:14.166 --> 00:09:17.583 So, maybe boner donor means I donate mistakes. 209 00:09:17.666 --> 00:09:18.791 That makes sense. 210 00:09:18.875 --> 00:09:22.958 I met the fellow who moved into the Andersons' house next door. 211 00:09:23.041 --> 00:09:25.208 Walter Lambert. Seemed like good people. 212 00:09:25.291 --> 00:09:27.333 -Oh, well, that's nice. -Yeah. 213 00:09:27.416 --> 00:09:29.666 Some improvement over those Andersons. 214 00:09:29.750 --> 00:09:32.416 The way they used to toss firecrackers at you. 215 00:09:32.500 --> 00:09:34.000 Oh, no. That was the Epsteins. 216 00:09:34.083 --> 00:09:36.875 The Andersons used to throw garbage into my bedroom window. 217 00:09:36.958 --> 00:09:40.791 Well, who was it chased you around the yard with a tennis racket? 218 00:09:40.875 --> 00:09:41.958 That was Dad. 219 00:09:42.041 --> 00:09:43.750 God rest his soul. 220 00:09:43.833 --> 00:09:45.833 -Oh, for sure. -[Mom] Cookies are done. 221 00:09:45.916 --> 00:09:47.583 You wanna help me frost 'em? 222 00:09:47.666 --> 00:09:49.791 -Can I lick the spoon, or… -[Mom] Deal! 223 00:09:49.875 --> 00:09:50.708 Okay. 224 00:09:50.791 --> 00:09:57.458 [chuckles] Now, I know that Halloween is very special to you, sweet boy. 225 00:09:57.541 --> 00:10:00.416 It's been your favorite holiday since you were knee-high. 226 00:10:00.500 --> 00:10:05.958 Well, we're Jewish, so that eliminated Christmas and Easter and Ash Wednesday. 227 00:10:06.041 --> 00:10:07.375 [grunts] 228 00:10:08.958 --> 00:10:10.041 -[jar pops] -[Mom exhales] 229 00:10:10.125 --> 00:10:14.125 And I am so proud at how hard you work 230 00:10:14.208 --> 00:10:18.166 to make sure that Halloween is safe and fun for everyone in this town. 231 00:10:18.250 --> 00:10:20.291 I'm sensin' a big "but" coming. 232 00:10:20.375 --> 00:10:21.958 -But… -Okay. 233 00:10:22.041 --> 00:10:27.041 …this town is as full of bullies now as it ever was in the 1600s. 234 00:10:28.166 --> 00:10:30.791 You have to learn to stand up for yourself. 235 00:10:32.500 --> 00:10:33.458 I just get scared. 236 00:10:34.083 --> 00:10:35.625 I know you do. 237 00:10:35.708 --> 00:10:37.083 We all get scared. 238 00:10:37.708 --> 00:10:42.458 But this year, you're gonna have to find that bravery that's deep within you. 239 00:10:42.541 --> 00:10:43.625 It's time. 240 00:10:54.666 --> 00:10:55.916 Ah, the good old days. 241 00:10:57.166 --> 00:10:59.958 When the town toughs only used to throw crab apples. 242 00:11:04.458 --> 00:11:08.125 Ah, Officer Steve. You always had it going on. 243 00:11:09.166 --> 00:11:12.458 "Most likely to marry his pillow." Still don't get that one. 244 00:11:17.916 --> 00:11:19.166 "Most friendly." 245 00:11:20.000 --> 00:11:20.833 "Most popular." 246 00:11:21.750 --> 00:11:22.583 "Best looking." 247 00:11:23.166 --> 00:11:24.500 The high school hat trick. 248 00:11:25.291 --> 00:11:27.166 Could not have happened to a nicer woman. 249 00:11:32.708 --> 00:11:35.541 Maybe if I wasn't such a scaredy-cat like mom was sayin', 250 00:11:36.541 --> 00:11:37.875 I would have asked you out. 251 00:11:38.375 --> 00:11:42.333 And the cutest couple would have been Violet and Hubie. 252 00:11:44.166 --> 00:11:45.291 -[pounding] -[screams] 253 00:11:45.375 --> 00:11:47.750 Monster! [screams] 254 00:11:48.291 --> 00:11:50.291 [Mom] Hubie, what was that? 255 00:11:51.000 --> 00:11:52.833 Sorry, Mom! I'll clean that up! 256 00:11:56.583 --> 00:11:58.166 [Mom] Did you make a messy? 257 00:11:58.750 --> 00:12:01.583 [Hubie] I said I would clean it up! It's not a big deal! 258 00:12:02.041 --> 00:12:05.666 [Mom] What are you cleaning up? Did you have an accident? 259 00:12:05.750 --> 00:12:08.000 [Hubie] No! It wasn't an accident. 260 00:12:08.083 --> 00:12:09.750 [Mom] It was on purpose? 261 00:12:09.833 --> 00:12:10.708 [Hubie] Mom! 262 00:12:19.416 --> 00:12:21.208 [trickling] 263 00:12:27.625 --> 00:12:29.833 [Violet] Okay, kids, you can't have candy for breakfast, 264 00:12:29.916 --> 00:12:32.083 but you can sprinkle some on top of your cereal. 265 00:12:32.166 --> 00:12:33.458 -[girl 1] Yes! -[girl 2] Oh, yeah! 266 00:12:33.541 --> 00:12:37.000 [segment intro music playing] 267 00:12:37.083 --> 00:12:39.500 Welcome back. You're Watching Wake Up Boston. 268 00:12:39.583 --> 00:12:43.250 And it's October 31st, which is a special day across the country, 269 00:12:43.333 --> 00:12:48.041 but most especially in Salem, America's unofficial Halloween capital. 270 00:12:48.125 --> 00:12:51.333 And it's gonna be a great day in Salem. Right, Jenna Thomas? 271 00:12:51.416 --> 00:12:54.708 Yes, Erin. Clear and a balmy 61 degrees. 272 00:12:54.791 --> 00:12:57.666 Ready for trick-or-treating and all the spooky stuff. 273 00:12:57.750 --> 00:13:00.125 Ooh! Get that candy, kids. 274 00:13:00.208 --> 00:13:04.250 And now, Wake Up Boston's Tracy Phillips is live with the Mayor of Salem, 275 00:13:04.333 --> 00:13:07.708 David Benson, and-- Tracy, you went with Harley Quinn, too? 276 00:13:07.791 --> 00:13:09.166 Sure did, Erin. 277 00:13:09.250 --> 00:13:12.791 Only one day a year you get to show your ex what he's missin'. 278 00:13:12.875 --> 00:13:14.125 Hey! 279 00:13:14.208 --> 00:13:15.833 You know it. Ooh! Ooh! 280 00:13:15.916 --> 00:13:17.500 -Ooh! Ooh! -Yeah! 281 00:13:17.583 --> 00:13:20.291 So, Mayor Benson, the sun sets in eight short hours, 282 00:13:20.375 --> 00:13:23.958 but the spooky preparations are in full swing around here. 283 00:13:24.041 --> 00:13:25.291 Indeed it is, Tracy. 284 00:13:25.375 --> 00:13:29.625 As you can see, we're already setting up our world-famous Halloween parade. 285 00:13:29.708 --> 00:13:32.583 And a few blocks over, we got a street fair. 286 00:13:32.666 --> 00:13:35.833 And you're expecting some pretty impressive crowds here this evening. 287 00:13:35.916 --> 00:13:39.708 Oh, we're expecting over 70,000 people to visit Salem this evening. 288 00:13:39.791 --> 00:13:45.125 Well, I know where I'm gonna be tonight. Reporting from Salem, Tracy Phillips. 289 00:13:45.208 --> 00:13:46.875 -Back to you, Erin. -[marching band playing] 290 00:13:48.125 --> 00:13:50.125 -[Steve] Is this the way you found him? -[man] Yeah. 291 00:13:50.875 --> 00:13:52.541 And I was gonna take poor Peanut 292 00:13:52.625 --> 00:13:55.750 to the Halloween Carnival tonight for the petting zoo. 293 00:13:55.833 --> 00:13:58.875 But what kid would wanna pet a pig that look like that? 294 00:13:59.708 --> 00:14:02.083 Did you hear anything or see anything unusual last night? 295 00:14:02.166 --> 00:14:05.458 Well, I woke up 'cause the animals sounded agitated, 296 00:14:05.541 --> 00:14:09.875 and then I heard poor Peanut make a God-awful squeal. 297 00:14:09.958 --> 00:14:11.958 [imitating squealing] 298 00:14:12.500 --> 00:14:14.500 Squealin' like he was callin' for his daddy! 299 00:14:14.583 --> 00:14:16.083 You know what I think done it? 300 00:14:16.541 --> 00:14:17.541 A werewolf. 301 00:14:18.375 --> 00:14:21.583 Think you've been watching too many scary movies, Louise. 302 00:14:21.666 --> 00:14:25.250 And I think you've been eating too many of your own boogers, Dan. 303 00:14:25.333 --> 00:14:28.416 Oh, at least my mama don't stink the toilet up so bad, 304 00:14:28.500 --> 00:14:30.166 we gotta get rid of the shower curtain. 305 00:14:30.250 --> 00:14:33.416 Oh, you gonna bring up my mama in front of the police, huh? 306 00:14:33.500 --> 00:14:35.916 Ain't nobody say nothin' 'bout your big-ass mama. 307 00:14:36.000 --> 00:14:38.041 She come in the house and broke all the furniture. 308 00:14:38.125 --> 00:14:39.625 My mom wouldn't break up the furniture 309 00:14:39.708 --> 00:14:42.916 if you hadn't bought that cheap Ikea stuff and put it together with a butter knife! 310 00:14:43.000 --> 00:14:46.000 Well, if I had a real man, then I wouldn't have to do it myself now, would I? 311 00:14:46.083 --> 00:14:47.458 [Dan] Peanut's dead! 312 00:14:47.541 --> 00:14:49.166 We gonna eat Peanut tonight! 313 00:14:49.250 --> 00:14:51.333 [crowd chattering] 314 00:14:52.625 --> 00:14:53.958 [man] Look at these nerds. 315 00:14:54.041 --> 00:14:57.208 Unbelievable. You can say a lot of things about me, I was never a nerd. 316 00:14:57.791 --> 00:14:59.333 Hey, pimples! 317 00:15:00.291 --> 00:15:01.875 Pubie! 318 00:15:01.958 --> 00:15:04.125 Pubie? Uh, who's-- who's Pubie? 319 00:15:04.208 --> 00:15:06.875 You are, Pubie. Landolfa called you that yesterday. 320 00:15:06.958 --> 00:15:07.958 Hilarious. 321 00:15:08.041 --> 00:15:11.125 Janitor, some drunk guy dressed as Captain Underpants 322 00:15:11.208 --> 00:15:13.083 just threw up in the jail exhibit. 323 00:15:13.166 --> 00:15:16.333 That's my cue. Call me if you get lonely, Violet. 324 00:15:16.916 --> 00:15:17.750 Don't call me. 325 00:15:17.833 --> 00:15:18.875 [groans] 326 00:15:18.958 --> 00:15:21.000 Wasn't plannin' on it. Hey, Dot. 327 00:15:21.083 --> 00:15:23.541 So, I saw there were massive lines out front. 328 00:15:23.625 --> 00:15:27.208 I took the liberty to print up some happy Halloween word searches. 329 00:15:27.291 --> 00:15:28.541 You can pass it out to the kids. 330 00:15:28.625 --> 00:15:30.458 Give them something to do while they're waiting. 331 00:15:30.541 --> 00:15:31.750 Oh, Hubie, how lovely. 332 00:15:31.833 --> 00:15:33.375 Thank you so much. 333 00:15:33.458 --> 00:15:34.291 Of course. 334 00:15:38.500 --> 00:15:40.583 So, Violet Valentine. 335 00:15:40.666 --> 00:15:42.333 Good to see you. Happy Halloween. 336 00:15:42.416 --> 00:15:44.250 -Thank you. -What brings you here? 337 00:15:44.333 --> 00:15:46.458 I am chaperoning my daughter's field trip. 338 00:15:47.000 --> 00:15:49.083 She's over there. Danielle! Danielle! 339 00:15:49.166 --> 00:15:50.416 Say hello to Hubie. 340 00:15:50.958 --> 00:15:52.750 Hi, Hubie. What school do you go to? 341 00:15:53.416 --> 00:15:56.416 No. He's a grown man. I've known him since kindergarten. 342 00:15:56.500 --> 00:15:58.750 Yes. We had Miss Colestice's class together. 343 00:15:58.833 --> 00:16:00.875 -Yes, we did. -You were the first kid to get earrings. 344 00:16:00.958 --> 00:16:01.875 [chuckles] I was. 345 00:16:01.958 --> 00:16:05.000 Oh, I'm sorry. I just thought 'cause of the thermos. 346 00:16:05.083 --> 00:16:06.750 Oh, why? Do you want some soup? 347 00:16:06.833 --> 00:16:09.083 -Uh, no, thanks. -Your friends? 348 00:16:09.625 --> 00:16:11.125 All right. It's here if you want it. 349 00:16:14.250 --> 00:16:16.083 -[laughing] What was that? -What was that about? 350 00:16:16.166 --> 00:16:20.416 What a nice young lady. I remember you just had a foster son. 351 00:16:20.500 --> 00:16:23.250 Yeah. Well, I've got two foster daughters now as well. 352 00:16:23.666 --> 00:16:25.833 Huh. That's quite commendable. 353 00:16:25.916 --> 00:16:28.375 Looking out for the community. That's important. 354 00:16:28.458 --> 00:16:31.541 Of course. That's my great-great-great-great-great grandmother. 355 00:16:31.625 --> 00:16:35.000 She saw some bad things happening, but she spoke out. 356 00:16:35.083 --> 00:16:37.000 Said there's no such thing as witches. 357 00:16:37.458 --> 00:16:39.625 -Very brave. -Yeah, maybe too brave. 358 00:16:39.708 --> 00:16:42.708 'Cause they called her a witch and ended up like this fella. 359 00:16:42.791 --> 00:16:44.833 -[Violet] Ooh. -[Hubie] The unfortunate dangling Dave. 360 00:16:44.916 --> 00:16:46.625 God, I love the way you phrase things. 361 00:16:48.166 --> 00:16:49.000 Okay. 362 00:16:50.875 --> 00:16:54.791 So, how are you and Officer Steve doing? I saw him yesterday in his squad car. 363 00:16:54.875 --> 00:16:58.041 We were talking shop. You know, code 10-4, 10-5. That kinda thing. 364 00:16:58.125 --> 00:17:00.250 Well, since we've been divorced four years, 365 00:17:00.333 --> 00:17:03.750 -I don't really know how he's doing. -Oh, well, don't lose faith. 366 00:17:03.833 --> 00:17:05.583 You guys will get through this rough patch. 367 00:17:06.166 --> 00:17:07.458 Did you hear about the Andersons? 368 00:17:07.541 --> 00:17:10.333 I met the fellow who moved into their home. A Walter Lambert. 369 00:17:10.416 --> 00:17:11.625 Seems like a decent guy. 370 00:17:11.708 --> 00:17:13.166 -[Violet] Walter Lambert? -Yeah. 371 00:17:13.250 --> 00:17:17.625 There's a Walter Lambert buried right near my grandpa in the Pine Street Cemetery. 372 00:17:17.708 --> 00:17:18.541 Okay. 373 00:17:18.625 --> 00:17:22.375 I only remember that name because there is something off about his tombstone. 374 00:17:22.458 --> 00:17:25.250 -Off how? -Well, I know you, Hubie Dubois. 375 00:17:25.333 --> 00:17:26.750 -Mm-hmm. -You'll see. 376 00:17:28.541 --> 00:17:29.416 Okay. 377 00:17:29.500 --> 00:17:35.375 ♪ Did you ever know That you're my hero? ♪ 378 00:17:35.458 --> 00:17:36.416 [women crying] 379 00:17:36.500 --> 00:17:40.875 ♪ And everything I'd like to be? ♪ 380 00:17:41.750 --> 00:17:47.583 ♪ I could fly higher than an eagle ♪ 381 00:17:49.250 --> 00:17:53.375 ♪ 'Cause you are the wind Beneath my wings ♪ 382 00:17:54.083 --> 00:17:58.750 ♪ Did you ever know That you're my hero? ♪ 383 00:17:59.708 --> 00:18:05.375 ♪ You're everything, everything I wish I could be ♪ 384 00:18:06.750 --> 00:18:12.625 ♪ I could fly higher than an eagle… ♪ 385 00:18:12.708 --> 00:18:14.625 What is that fool doing here? 386 00:18:14.708 --> 00:18:15.583 No clue. 387 00:18:16.333 --> 00:18:20.000 -You want me to kick his ass, Father? -Not yet. But stay close. 388 00:18:20.583 --> 00:18:21.708 [clicking] 389 00:18:26.375 --> 00:18:28.250 That concludes our service. 390 00:18:28.333 --> 00:18:31.083 The family has invited you all to a luncheon. 391 00:18:31.791 --> 00:18:32.875 [Hubie grunting] 392 00:18:32.958 --> 00:18:37.416 A luncheon at the, uh, Captain's Table on Foster Street. Thank you. 393 00:18:42.666 --> 00:18:43.916 He never died? 394 00:18:45.625 --> 00:18:47.708 Boobie! What are you doing? 395 00:18:48.375 --> 00:18:49.791 Nothing. What are you doing? 396 00:18:50.250 --> 00:18:51.833 I'm officiating a funeral. 397 00:18:51.916 --> 00:18:53.000 On Halloween? 398 00:18:53.083 --> 00:18:55.333 People die every day, dummy. They don't skip holidays. 399 00:18:55.416 --> 00:18:57.208 -Even April Fool's Day? -Shut it. 400 00:18:58.041 --> 00:19:00.625 And if you get dirt on my good funeral shoes again, 401 00:19:00.708 --> 00:19:02.291 I'm gonna bury one up your butt. 402 00:19:02.375 --> 00:19:04.125 Okay. You want some soup? 403 00:19:04.208 --> 00:19:05.708 No, I don't want some s-- 404 00:19:05.791 --> 00:19:08.291 -Good to wash off the dirt. -Here, let me help you. 405 00:19:09.458 --> 00:19:10.291 Oh, is this-- 406 00:19:10.750 --> 00:19:12.291 Condolences, by the way. 407 00:19:12.375 --> 00:19:15.291 And I love the Wicked Witch costume. It's classic. 408 00:19:15.375 --> 00:19:16.541 It's not a costume. 409 00:19:16.625 --> 00:19:18.291 Not a costume? Okay. My boner. 410 00:19:19.541 --> 00:19:21.708 [woman] Why he talk about his boner? 411 00:19:21.791 --> 00:19:24.458 Hello, Hubes. What did you do wrong? 412 00:19:24.541 --> 00:19:25.625 I don't think anything. 413 00:19:25.708 --> 00:19:27.833 By the way, I wanted to say that I'm sorry 414 00:19:27.916 --> 00:19:30.416 for my attitude yesterday at the deli counter. 415 00:19:30.500 --> 00:19:33.666 [stammers] My dad, you know, he died unexpected, 416 00:19:33.750 --> 00:19:36.083 and I just haven't been myself these past few days. 417 00:19:36.166 --> 00:19:38.750 This is your dad's funeral? I'm so sorry. I didn't-- 418 00:19:39.291 --> 00:19:41.458 My father passed away a couple of years ago. 419 00:19:41.541 --> 00:19:43.416 It is very painful. It's-- 420 00:19:43.500 --> 00:19:47.708 -Ups and downs, emotionally. -Yeah. My dad was a serious man. 421 00:19:47.791 --> 00:19:51.541 He worked hard every single day of his life. 422 00:19:51.625 --> 00:19:52.458 Mm-hmm. 423 00:19:52.541 --> 00:19:54.208 -But he did love to laugh. -Okay. 424 00:19:54.291 --> 00:19:56.875 And I know he would get a great chuckle out of this. 425 00:19:56.958 --> 00:19:57.833 [screams, thuds] 426 00:19:57.916 --> 00:20:01.000 [laughing maniacally] 427 00:20:01.083 --> 00:20:02.416 Have fun, Pubes. 428 00:20:02.500 --> 00:20:04.458 [shouting in Italian] 429 00:20:04.541 --> 00:20:06.708 Ma! He's an idiota, deficiente! 430 00:20:07.750 --> 00:20:08.791 Disrespectful? 431 00:20:09.333 --> 00:20:11.000 No, this is good. 432 00:20:11.708 --> 00:20:13.625 We want him in the hole. 433 00:20:14.375 --> 00:20:16.083 God would want this. 434 00:20:21.041 --> 00:20:22.375 Somebody's down here! 435 00:20:22.458 --> 00:20:24.708 Ah! The dead speak! 436 00:20:26.041 --> 00:20:27.416 -[thuds] -[Hubie] Oh, my soup! 437 00:20:28.541 --> 00:20:30.708 [Aurora on radio] It's not even dark yet here in Salem, 438 00:20:30.791 --> 00:20:33.458 but the spooky vibes are gettin' heavy, baby. 439 00:20:33.541 --> 00:20:35.833 We'll get through it together here on… 440 00:20:35.916 --> 00:20:38.166 ♪ WCC8 ♪ 441 00:20:38.250 --> 00:20:41.208 [woman, in a spooky voice] Halloween central. 442 00:20:41.291 --> 00:20:42.500 [pounding] 443 00:20:43.583 --> 00:20:44.416 [Hubie] Mr. Lambert. 444 00:20:45.583 --> 00:20:46.541 What are you up to? 445 00:20:47.250 --> 00:20:49.375 Hubie. Yeah. 446 00:20:50.041 --> 00:20:50.875 I wa-- 447 00:20:51.583 --> 00:20:54.500 Last night, I thought I felt a little draft. So… 448 00:20:55.083 --> 00:20:58.458 Yeah, that October wind will-- it'll sneak up on you. 449 00:20:59.041 --> 00:21:00.083 Sure does. 450 00:21:02.458 --> 00:21:03.541 Say, Mr. Lambert. 451 00:21:05.208 --> 00:21:06.083 How old are you? 452 00:21:10.250 --> 00:21:11.583 You mean in human years? 453 00:21:12.250 --> 00:21:13.083 Yes. 454 00:21:13.875 --> 00:21:16.958 I don't really believe in keeping track of that kind of thing, Hubie. 455 00:21:17.666 --> 00:21:19.666 You know, age is just a state of mind. 456 00:21:21.458 --> 00:21:23.875 That's why I played T-ball till I was 25. 457 00:21:24.958 --> 00:21:25.916 Hubie Dubois. 458 00:21:31.916 --> 00:21:33.541 [school bell ringing] 459 00:21:33.625 --> 00:21:35.166 I can't believe it's finally Halloween. 460 00:21:35.250 --> 00:21:38.333 My parents got me a royal princess dress from the Disney Store. 461 00:21:38.416 --> 00:21:40.875 -Cooky, what are you gonna dress up as? -A robot. 462 00:21:40.958 --> 00:21:43.708 You should go as a girl who doesn't even know who her real parents are. 463 00:21:43.791 --> 00:21:45.625 Oh, that's who you are every day. 464 00:21:45.708 --> 00:21:46.708 [kids laugh] 465 00:21:46.791 --> 00:21:47.625 [woman] O'Doyle! 466 00:21:47.708 --> 00:21:49.416 -[pounds] -[Andy] Yes, Miss Taylor? 467 00:21:49.500 --> 00:21:52.541 Maybe you should go as a butt-faced, red-haired piece of dog puke 468 00:21:52.625 --> 00:21:55.750 who's reading at a second-grade level even though he's 11. 469 00:21:55.833 --> 00:21:58.625 [kids laughing] Ooh! 470 00:21:58.708 --> 00:22:01.750 [man] Attention, first through sixth graders. 471 00:22:01.833 --> 00:22:05.625 We have a special presentation today in lieu of recess. 472 00:22:05.708 --> 00:22:08.166 [kids groaning] 473 00:22:08.250 --> 00:22:11.541 Here again to talk about Halloween safety 474 00:22:11.625 --> 00:22:16.875 is Salem's Official Volunteer Halloween Helper, 475 00:22:17.416 --> 00:22:18.916 Hubert Dubois. 476 00:22:19.375 --> 00:22:22.416 [Hubie muttering, warbling] 477 00:22:22.500 --> 00:22:23.500 Oh, God. 478 00:22:24.000 --> 00:22:30.750 [Hubie continues muttering, warbling] 479 00:22:31.625 --> 00:22:33.125 [girl] Are those pee stains? 480 00:22:33.208 --> 00:22:35.208 [kids giggling] 481 00:22:37.583 --> 00:22:39.791 Hello, Webster Elementary School. 482 00:22:39.875 --> 00:22:42.708 I am not a ghost, but I play one on TV. 483 00:22:46.791 --> 00:22:48.000 Just playing. 484 00:22:48.083 --> 00:22:52.208 My name is Hubie Dubois, and I am here to tell you that Halloween is fun, 485 00:22:52.291 --> 00:22:55.166 but we must stay out of the danger zone. 486 00:22:55.250 --> 00:22:59.333 [kids jeering, clamoring] 487 00:22:59.416 --> 00:23:01.208 Hey! Hey! Hey! 488 00:23:01.291 --> 00:23:04.083 Let him speak. He's a human being! 489 00:23:08.666 --> 00:23:11.500 Thank you, sir. I would like a word with you all. 490 00:23:11.958 --> 00:23:13.041 And that word is… 491 00:23:16.291 --> 00:23:18.000 G-ghost? 492 00:23:18.083 --> 00:23:22.875 Ghost. Scary. But also the key to Halloween safety. 493 00:23:23.541 --> 00:23:24.375 The G. 494 00:23:25.083 --> 00:23:27.125 -What could the G stand for? -Go home? 495 00:23:27.791 --> 00:23:29.583 No. Give. 496 00:23:29.666 --> 00:23:33.041 Give to the less fortunate. Does anyone know what less fortunate is? 497 00:23:34.708 --> 00:23:36.666 -Yes, sir. -It means someone who needs help. 498 00:23:36.750 --> 00:23:38.375 Very good. What's your name? 499 00:23:38.458 --> 00:23:40.541 -Cooky. -Well, you're a smart cookie. 500 00:23:41.458 --> 00:23:44.916 When I was young, I used to build a tower with all my candy. 501 00:23:45.000 --> 00:23:48.666 And all the candy that was part of the tower before it collapsed, 502 00:23:48.750 --> 00:23:50.250 I would keep for myself. 503 00:23:50.333 --> 00:23:54.416 The leftover candy, I would donate to the homeless shelter. 504 00:23:54.500 --> 00:23:56.125 Is that where you live? 505 00:23:56.208 --> 00:23:57.041 Well, son-- 506 00:23:57.125 --> 00:23:58.708 [screaming] 507 00:23:58.791 --> 00:24:00.541 Burn him! 508 00:24:00.625 --> 00:24:02.625 -[crying] -Oh. 509 00:24:03.375 --> 00:24:04.875 I'm sorry, son. I just-- 510 00:24:05.500 --> 00:24:06.916 Please-- please don't cry. 511 00:24:07.000 --> 00:24:10.041 [kids screaming, jeering] 512 00:24:10.125 --> 00:24:11.125 ♪ Happy Halloween ♪ 513 00:24:12.000 --> 00:24:14.750 ♪ Happy Halloween Happy Halloween ♪ 514 00:24:16.000 --> 00:24:17.625 ♪ Happy Halloween Happy Halloween… ♪ 515 00:24:17.708 --> 00:24:18.958 I feel bad for him. 516 00:24:19.875 --> 00:24:22.625 Yeah. No, baby. He overstayed his welcome. 517 00:24:22.708 --> 00:24:26.708 [kids continue screaming, jeering] 518 00:24:31.250 --> 00:24:32.750 We're out of food, I guess. Yeah? 519 00:24:33.583 --> 00:24:35.000 [kids laughing] 520 00:24:38.166 --> 00:24:40.166 [entrance bell jangles] 521 00:24:41.541 --> 00:24:43.416 Hey. What can I get you guys? 522 00:24:43.500 --> 00:24:46.541 Hi. Can I get a black coffee? 523 00:24:47.333 --> 00:24:48.208 Coffee? 524 00:24:48.625 --> 00:24:51.750 -Not hot chocolate? -Oh, I don't drink hot chocolate anymore. 525 00:24:51.833 --> 00:24:54.083 -You had one this morning. -Well, I quit. 526 00:24:55.000 --> 00:24:57.750 Okay. Well, I'm gonna need to see some ID, freshman. 527 00:24:57.833 --> 00:24:59.916 [stammers] ID? I don't… 528 00:25:00.000 --> 00:25:02.291 [chuckles] I'm just kidding. One black coffee. 529 00:25:02.375 --> 00:25:04.291 So, how'd you know I was a freshman? 530 00:25:04.375 --> 00:25:05.750 Oh, I see you in the hallways 531 00:25:05.833 --> 00:25:08.708 and it's pretty obvious. What are you guys doing for Halloween? 532 00:25:08.791 --> 00:25:10.541 Well, I'm taking my sisters trick-or-treating. 533 00:25:10.625 --> 00:25:13.833 And my mom's at work, so I kind of run the house when she's gone. 534 00:25:14.375 --> 00:25:17.000 -So, you're not going to the party? -Yeah, I'm going. 535 00:25:17.541 --> 00:25:19.875 -Which party? -One manly black coffee. 536 00:25:20.375 --> 00:25:21.375 That's me. 537 00:25:21.458 --> 00:25:25.083 The big barn at Wallace Orchard. It's mostly juniors and seniors. 538 00:25:26.083 --> 00:25:31.208 Hmm. Yeah. Well, maybe after my mom comes home, I'll-- I'll try to swing by. 539 00:25:31.958 --> 00:25:33.125 Try hard. 540 00:25:35.625 --> 00:25:37.208 Did you suddenly get cool? 541 00:25:38.333 --> 00:25:39.666 -[coffee splashes] -[boy] Oops! 542 00:25:39.750 --> 00:25:40.708 Sorry, freshman. 543 00:25:40.791 --> 00:25:42.750 Michael Mundi in the house! 544 00:25:43.708 --> 00:25:44.666 It comes and goes. 545 00:25:45.250 --> 00:25:48.583 [Aurora on radio] Well, all you witches and warlocks, the daylight is fading, 546 00:25:48.666 --> 00:25:52.375 and you know what that means. Halloween in Salem is in full effect. 547 00:25:53.083 --> 00:25:55.083 Now, we have an old friend on the line, Hubie Dubie. 548 00:25:55.166 --> 00:25:57.500 [echoing] Hi, I like-- I wanna make a request, please? 549 00:25:57.583 --> 00:25:59.541 If you can play the theme song 550 00:25:59.625 --> 00:26:02.000 from the film Ghostbusters by Ray Parker Jr. 551 00:26:02.083 --> 00:26:03.958 [Aurora] Hubie, you need to turn down your radio. 552 00:26:04.041 --> 00:26:06.625 -We talked about this before. -[echoing] I just keep hearing myself. 553 00:26:06.708 --> 00:26:08.625 -[Aurora] Hubie. -Okay, there it is. 554 00:26:08.708 --> 00:26:09.708 Thank you, Aurora. 555 00:26:09.791 --> 00:26:12.000 -[Aurora] Turn down the radio. -["Ghostbusters" playing] 556 00:26:12.083 --> 00:26:13.125 [echoing] Who is that? 557 00:26:13.208 --> 00:26:16.125 -[Aurora] Just hang up your phone. -[echoing] Please stop. 558 00:26:16.208 --> 00:26:18.208 -That's not funny. -[Aurora] All good, baby, okay? 559 00:26:18.291 --> 00:26:20.333 -[Aurora] Thanks for calling. -[Hubie] Sit on it, pal. 560 00:26:20.416 --> 00:26:23.791 That man on the radio sounds like the guy who talked to us in the cafeteria today. 561 00:26:23.875 --> 00:26:28.708 Oh, did you get a Hubie Dubois Halloween safety talk? 562 00:26:28.791 --> 00:26:30.708 I think so. Is he a good guy? 563 00:26:30.791 --> 00:26:33.791 'Cause the whole school was throwing food and sharp objects at him. 564 00:26:33.875 --> 00:26:38.500 Hubie Dubois is probably the nicest guy in this town. 565 00:26:39.083 --> 00:26:40.041 Do you like him? 566 00:26:40.750 --> 00:26:42.583 No. He-- You know, he's just-- 567 00:26:42.666 --> 00:26:44.916 -He's the nicest. -You said this already. 568 00:26:45.500 --> 00:26:48.750 Well, take it from me. Nice matters. 569 00:26:48.833 --> 00:26:50.166 ["Ghostbusters" continues playing] 570 00:26:50.250 --> 00:26:52.583 [Aurora] The scariest night of the year has arrived, kiddies. 571 00:26:52.666 --> 00:26:54.708 [creature howling] 572 00:26:54.791 --> 00:26:58.791 It's gonna be a full moon, so the monsters will be out. 573 00:26:58.875 --> 00:27:02.000 I hope you've made all the necessary preparations. 574 00:27:03.750 --> 00:27:05.875 And have your costumes all picked out. 575 00:27:09.000 --> 00:27:11.500 And watch out for all kinds of freaky things 576 00:27:11.583 --> 00:27:13.500 that'll chill you to the bone. 577 00:27:13.583 --> 00:27:15.583 ["Ghostbusters" continues playing] 578 00:27:21.583 --> 00:27:23.041 ♪ Let me tell you something ♪ 579 00:27:23.500 --> 00:27:25.500 ♪ Bustin' makes me feel good ♪ 580 00:27:27.791 --> 00:27:29.875 [kids chattering] 581 00:27:43.916 --> 00:27:44.833 [door opens] 582 00:27:46.708 --> 00:27:49.500 Oh, Hubie. Don't go out there tonight. 583 00:27:49.583 --> 00:27:51.833 I have a feeling something's going to happen. 584 00:27:52.375 --> 00:27:55.208 I get that feeling every time I leave the house, Mom. 585 00:27:55.291 --> 00:27:56.500 But Salem needs me. 586 00:27:56.583 --> 00:27:59.625 Listen to me. It's time to worry about yourself. 587 00:27:59.708 --> 00:28:03.291 Hubert Shubert Dubois, do you hear me? 588 00:28:03.375 --> 00:28:06.291 The whole neighborhood'll hear you, Ma. You're practically screaming. 589 00:28:06.750 --> 00:28:07.750 I'll be okay. 590 00:28:07.833 --> 00:28:10.291 -My sweet boy. -[Hubie] I love you. 591 00:28:11.208 --> 00:28:13.625 Answer the door if it's a trick-or-treater. 592 00:28:13.708 --> 00:28:15.291 Otherwise, just stay in the house, Ma. 593 00:28:15.375 --> 00:28:16.375 [door opens] 594 00:28:17.666 --> 00:28:18.625 [door closes] 595 00:28:19.833 --> 00:28:21.541 So, you went with the full moon, huh, God? 596 00:28:22.500 --> 00:28:23.333 It's on. 597 00:28:23.791 --> 00:28:26.416 ♪ Trick, trick, trick or treat ♪ 598 00:28:26.500 --> 00:28:29.833 ♪ Open up your door And give me what I need, trick… ♪ 599 00:28:29.916 --> 00:28:31.791 [Hubie] Be careful, guys! Safety first! 600 00:28:32.375 --> 00:28:34.750 ♪ I'll show you something That you've never seen ♪ 601 00:28:34.833 --> 00:28:35.833 ♪ Oh, yeah ♪ 602 00:28:38.333 --> 00:28:40.625 -Incredible costumes, guys. -[girl] Whatever. 603 00:28:40.708 --> 00:28:41.791 Hmm. 604 00:28:46.166 --> 00:28:47.500 [Hubie grunts] 605 00:28:48.083 --> 00:28:49.708 [car horn beeping] 606 00:28:50.375 --> 00:28:52.500 Well, not on my watch, Mr. Whiskers. 607 00:28:52.583 --> 00:28:55.208 Hey, Pubie! Give me back my cat! 608 00:28:55.291 --> 00:28:57.833 Boy, that nickname spread like warm peanut butter. 609 00:28:58.291 --> 00:28:59.166 Um… 610 00:29:00.166 --> 00:29:01.125 [cat meows] 611 00:29:02.916 --> 00:29:03.791 [Violet] Hey, Karen. 612 00:29:04.708 --> 00:29:06.250 How 'bout you thank the man? 613 00:29:06.333 --> 00:29:08.458 Oh, hey, Violet. 614 00:29:08.541 --> 00:29:12.708 Oh, you fostering this mumbling zombie now, too? [laughs] 615 00:29:12.791 --> 00:29:14.000 Good luck! 616 00:29:14.083 --> 00:29:16.916 You want me to get out this car and beat you with that ugly cat? 617 00:29:17.000 --> 00:29:18.708 'Cause you know I'm more than capable of it. 618 00:29:20.000 --> 00:29:21.875 Uh… no. 619 00:29:23.166 --> 00:29:24.291 [door opens, closes] 620 00:29:24.375 --> 00:29:26.833 Violet Valentine. What a, uh, pleasant surprise. 621 00:29:26.916 --> 00:29:30.958 How did you get to be so badass? 622 00:29:31.625 --> 00:29:32.458 [stammers] 623 00:29:34.458 --> 00:29:37.708 Yes, you, Hubie. You're a stud. 624 00:29:38.458 --> 00:29:41.375 You're most friendly, most popular, and best looking. 625 00:29:41.458 --> 00:29:42.416 What? 626 00:29:42.500 --> 00:29:47.916 I was wondering, Violet, do you think perhaps that we can-- 627 00:29:48.000 --> 00:29:52.416 Maybe sometime you and I could possibly… 628 00:29:52.500 --> 00:29:53.333 What? 629 00:29:55.125 --> 00:29:55.958 Nothing. 630 00:29:56.833 --> 00:29:57.666 Nothing at all. 631 00:29:58.125 --> 00:29:59.000 Oh. 632 00:30:00.916 --> 00:30:03.291 Okay. Well, I know it's your big night, Hubie. 633 00:30:03.375 --> 00:30:07.416 So, if you run out of soup and you need a refill, just stop by the diner. 634 00:30:08.083 --> 00:30:09.583 I'm working all night, okay? 635 00:30:11.166 --> 00:30:12.000 Right-o. 636 00:30:13.333 --> 00:30:14.166 Okay. 637 00:30:25.333 --> 00:30:29.041 I'm asexual, but that girl's making me hella horny. 638 00:30:31.291 --> 00:30:32.166 Mmm. 639 00:30:34.041 --> 00:30:34.916 Go, go, go. 640 00:30:35.833 --> 00:30:36.791 Go get candy, baby. 641 00:30:49.750 --> 00:30:50.666 Okay. 642 00:30:51.416 --> 00:30:53.291 I'm gonna stop you there, young lady. 643 00:30:54.083 --> 00:30:58.750 Part of the fun of Halloween is its ways of teaching us life lessons. 644 00:30:59.375 --> 00:31:02.583 -To trust the honor system. -[animatronic creature] Hello! 645 00:31:02.666 --> 00:31:04.250 [screaming] 646 00:31:04.333 --> 00:31:05.916 [laughing] 647 00:31:06.000 --> 00:31:07.458 [Hubie] Help me! 648 00:31:07.541 --> 00:31:09.208 [laughs] You're a dummy! 649 00:31:09.291 --> 00:31:12.208 Scooby Dubois on the case! 650 00:31:12.291 --> 00:31:15.291 Mr. Hennessy. How's night school? 651 00:31:15.375 --> 00:31:17.416 I dropped out three years ago. Shut up. 652 00:31:17.500 --> 00:31:18.833 [Hennessy] Hi, David. Hi, Tracy. 653 00:31:18.916 --> 00:31:20.166 -[Tracy] Hi. -[David] How are ya? 654 00:31:20.250 --> 00:31:24.083 Hubie, nice little sash you got on there. What is that, monitor? 655 00:31:24.625 --> 00:31:26.166 What're you monitorizing? 656 00:31:26.250 --> 00:31:29.416 You see, basically, doing a door-to-door candy etiquette. 657 00:31:29.500 --> 00:31:34.125 As a trained volunteer, I've been asked to initiate spot checks. 658 00:31:34.208 --> 00:31:35.750 -Asked by who? -[Hennessy] Yeah. 659 00:31:35.833 --> 00:31:38.583 It looks like you made that sash from one of your mother's scarves. 660 00:31:38.666 --> 00:31:43.208 [all laughing] 661 00:31:43.291 --> 00:31:47.250 My family's been a part of Salem for, uh, going back to the witch trials. 662 00:31:47.333 --> 00:31:50.541 So, I know what it's like when the spooky fun gets outta hand-- 663 00:31:50.625 --> 00:31:52.875 [Hennessy makes snoring sounds] 664 00:31:53.416 --> 00:31:54.375 Oh, I'm sorry. 665 00:31:55.208 --> 00:31:57.541 I had this nightmare I was talking to an idiot. 666 00:31:57.625 --> 00:32:00.458 Mmm. Havin' a nightmare about your hairdo. 667 00:32:00.541 --> 00:32:02.083 [Tracy and David] Come on, baby. 668 00:32:02.166 --> 00:32:04.708 [Hubie] Good night. Please keep the fishnets for fishing next year. 669 00:32:04.791 --> 00:32:07.125 You know what spooky fun is really getting outta hand? 670 00:32:07.208 --> 00:32:08.500 It's your new neighbor's house. 671 00:32:08.583 --> 00:32:11.125 I heard some odd noises when I was walking by. 672 00:32:11.208 --> 00:32:12.416 -Noises, huh? -Yeah. 673 00:32:12.500 --> 00:32:14.458 Let's break this down. Did it sound like this? 674 00:32:14.541 --> 00:32:16.375 [makes braying sounds] 675 00:32:16.458 --> 00:32:18.708 -That sounds like a donkey. No. -How about… 676 00:32:18.791 --> 00:32:19.833 [growling] 677 00:32:19.916 --> 00:32:21.708 -No. -[squeaking] 678 00:32:21.791 --> 00:32:23.833 -No. -[grunting] 679 00:32:23.916 --> 00:32:25.500 I don't know. It was a noise! 680 00:32:25.583 --> 00:32:26.666 -Okay? -Yeah. 681 00:32:26.750 --> 00:32:28.916 -Why don't you just go see what it is? -On it. 682 00:32:41.083 --> 00:32:42.125 [glass shatters] 683 00:32:42.208 --> 00:32:45.708 [people chattering] 684 00:32:51.250 --> 00:32:52.416 [rustling, crashing] 685 00:32:52.500 --> 00:32:55.500 -[muffled screaming] -[banging] 686 00:32:56.416 --> 00:32:57.875 [snarling] 687 00:32:57.958 --> 00:32:59.291 [Hubie] Hmm. 688 00:33:00.541 --> 00:33:02.791 [muffled snarling, wailing] 689 00:33:02.875 --> 00:33:04.958 [Hubie] Mr. Lambert? Mr. Lambert? 690 00:33:07.375 --> 00:33:08.625 [muffled screaming] 691 00:33:10.541 --> 00:33:12.333 [power tool whirring] 692 00:33:20.166 --> 00:33:22.083 [distant wailing, screaming] 693 00:33:22.166 --> 00:33:23.583 [distant crashing] 694 00:33:25.125 --> 00:33:26.041 Mr. Lambert? 695 00:33:26.583 --> 00:33:29.000 [distant screaming continues] 696 00:33:29.083 --> 00:33:29.916 [Hubie] Hello? 697 00:33:31.541 --> 00:33:32.541 [muffled shrieking] 698 00:33:32.625 --> 00:33:33.458 [Hubie] Mr. Lamb-- 699 00:33:33.541 --> 00:33:35.291 [Hubie screams, thuds] 700 00:33:35.375 --> 00:33:38.208 [groaning] 701 00:33:38.291 --> 00:33:39.125 Why? 702 00:33:58.083 --> 00:33:58.916 What the-- 703 00:34:00.375 --> 00:34:02.041 You got a dog, Mr. Lambert? 704 00:34:06.250 --> 00:34:08.208 You got a big dog, Mr. Lambert? 705 00:34:25.708 --> 00:34:26.666 [screams] 706 00:34:28.541 --> 00:34:29.458 Mr. Lambert. 707 00:34:29.541 --> 00:34:32.541 I know you said if there was a commotion, I should ignore it. 708 00:34:34.541 --> 00:34:37.333 But there was a commotion, and I did not ignore it. And-- 709 00:34:37.416 --> 00:34:39.166 -[growls] -Oh! 710 00:34:39.250 --> 00:34:41.833 Were those your feces on the newspaper, Mr. Lambert? 711 00:34:42.291 --> 00:34:43.166 [snarls] 712 00:34:43.958 --> 00:34:46.666 [rumbling, gasping] Walter. 713 00:34:46.750 --> 00:34:47.916 [creaking] 714 00:34:48.000 --> 00:34:49.375 -[snarls] -[gasps] 715 00:34:52.625 --> 00:34:54.083 [howling] 716 00:34:55.416 --> 00:34:56.625 Safe Halloween, Mr.-- 717 00:34:57.500 --> 00:34:58.333 Walter! 718 00:35:00.000 --> 00:35:01.000 [siren blares] 719 00:35:01.083 --> 00:35:02.875 Look, I know it was just a pig. 720 00:35:02.958 --> 00:35:06.041 Peanut was not just a pig, officer. He was my best friend. 721 00:35:06.125 --> 00:35:08.500 -I thought I was your best friend. -[scoffs] 722 00:35:08.583 --> 00:35:12.583 Here's what I'm thinkin'. Name Richie Hartman ring a bell? 723 00:35:13.250 --> 00:35:14.125 Richie Hartman? 724 00:35:14.791 --> 00:35:16.333 Everybody knows who he is. 725 00:35:16.416 --> 00:35:19.041 I don't. Who is he? One of your boyfriend? 726 00:35:19.125 --> 00:35:20.333 [Louise] Oh, you jealous now? 727 00:35:20.416 --> 00:35:23.083 Why don't you go cuddle up with your best friend, Peanut, huh? 728 00:35:23.166 --> 00:35:24.541 [Dan crying] You see this, officer? 729 00:35:24.625 --> 00:35:26.666 -I wanna press charges. -Oh, you gotta be kidding me. 730 00:35:26.750 --> 00:35:29.000 [Louise] And I wanna press your face against that radiator! 731 00:35:29.083 --> 00:35:30.666 -[Hubie] Officer Steve! -I'm sorry, buddy. 732 00:35:30.750 --> 00:35:32.875 The package got by me. He moves quickly to the left. 733 00:35:32.958 --> 00:35:35.833 Okay, well, how did the package even know that I was in here? 734 00:35:35.916 --> 00:35:38.500 Well, that's a glass window. The package could see ya. 735 00:35:38.583 --> 00:35:41.291 Yeah, but could've told the package that I'm a mannequin or somethin'. 736 00:35:41.375 --> 00:35:43.500 -You're right. -What is this package they talkin' about? 737 00:35:43.583 --> 00:35:45.458 -My bad. -Guess they're talkin' about this fella. 738 00:35:45.541 --> 00:35:46.583 Pubie? 739 00:35:46.666 --> 00:35:49.416 I don't know his name. The goofy idiot from the supermarket deli. 740 00:35:50.166 --> 00:35:52.916 Dan, Louise, let's table this discussion for a moment, okay? 741 00:35:53.916 --> 00:35:56.291 -To be continued, I guess. -[Louise] Oh, you guess? 742 00:35:56.375 --> 00:35:59.625 I wish it was you that was knifed up instead of peanut. 743 00:35:59.708 --> 00:36:01.333 You hear this? Can I borrow your gun? 744 00:36:01.416 --> 00:36:03.833 I assure you can arrest me right afterwards. 745 00:36:04.291 --> 00:36:06.583 [Louise] Cut your gizzards off. That's what I should do. 746 00:36:06.666 --> 00:36:09.708 Officer Steve, I saw my ne-- 747 00:36:09.791 --> 00:36:11.833 Never mind that. Cop a squat. 748 00:36:12.458 --> 00:36:13.291 -Here? -Yeah. 749 00:36:15.125 --> 00:36:18.333 Hubie, how long have you lived in Salem? 750 00:36:19.083 --> 00:36:20.333 Eh, my whole life. 751 00:36:20.416 --> 00:36:23.250 Now, you've brought us many instances of unlawful conduct 752 00:36:23.333 --> 00:36:24.666 to our attention over the years. 753 00:36:25.166 --> 00:36:26.958 Somebody put a firecracker in my mail slot. 754 00:36:27.041 --> 00:36:28.750 There's a diaper in Dori's pond. 755 00:36:28.833 --> 00:36:30.916 There's a weird station wagon at the senior center. 756 00:36:31.000 --> 00:36:32.875 The supermarket is selling expired bacon. 757 00:36:32.958 --> 00:36:35.166 Janet at the library has not been herself lately. 758 00:36:35.250 --> 00:36:36.916 I heard a voice in the sewer. 759 00:36:37.000 --> 00:36:39.041 I'm sorry. I didn't recognize him. 760 00:36:39.125 --> 00:36:42.750 The power of observation, the ability to blend in. 761 00:36:42.833 --> 00:36:45.375 That is you in a nutshell, Hubie. 762 00:36:47.333 --> 00:36:49.375 Well, Steven, let's talk turkey. 763 00:36:50.333 --> 00:36:51.291 May I? 764 00:36:51.375 --> 00:36:53.375 Mmm… I only have 30 left. 765 00:36:54.791 --> 00:36:55.958 Okay. 766 00:36:57.416 --> 00:37:00.666 You ever hear of an AUU? 767 00:37:01.333 --> 00:37:04.666 I don't have an Internet, so I'm not up on my latest abbreviations. 768 00:37:04.750 --> 00:37:05.583 Illuminate me. 769 00:37:05.666 --> 00:37:11.000 AUU stands for "Auxiliary Undercover Unit." 770 00:37:11.083 --> 00:37:15.916 [squealing, muttering] 771 00:37:16.000 --> 00:37:18.250 [puffs, inhales] 772 00:37:18.333 --> 00:37:21.250 -Now, before you get too excited, -[exhaling] 773 00:37:21.333 --> 00:37:23.666 let me tell you what it entails, okay? 774 00:37:24.125 --> 00:37:25.708 First off, there's no salary. 775 00:37:25.791 --> 00:37:27.333 -[exhales] -There's no badge. 776 00:37:27.416 --> 00:37:29.666 -[exhales] -We can't acknowledge you officially 777 00:37:29.750 --> 00:37:31.833 -in any way whatsoever. And-- -[exhaling] 778 00:37:31.916 --> 00:37:33.583 And the most important thing is 779 00:37:33.666 --> 00:37:37.416 you can never be seen talking to me or any other officer in this place. 780 00:37:37.500 --> 00:37:39.666 [exhaling] 781 00:37:39.750 --> 00:37:42.583 A question. How would I go about getting the information to you? 782 00:37:42.666 --> 00:37:46.041 Oh, you just keep a log. A very detailed log. 783 00:37:46.125 --> 00:37:49.291 And you drop that log right here. 784 00:37:49.375 --> 00:37:51.875 In the garbage can directly outside Town Hall. 785 00:37:51.958 --> 00:37:54.125 So, drop a log in a garbage can? 786 00:37:54.208 --> 00:37:56.708 Well, that garbage can, that's monitored, 24-7. 787 00:37:56.791 --> 00:37:59.791 So, any intel that you have, it's gonna get to us. We'll know about it. 788 00:37:59.875 --> 00:38:01.125 -Makes-- makes sense. -Yep. 789 00:38:01.208 --> 00:38:05.875 But remember, you cannot contact us, no matter how dire the emergency. 790 00:38:05.958 --> 00:38:08.833 -Yeah, I heard you the first time. -Yeah, I said it twice, it's important. 791 00:38:08.916 --> 00:38:11.333 -Gotcha. -So, you ready to join the team? 792 00:38:12.916 --> 00:38:15.166 Put me in, coach. I'm ready to play. 793 00:38:15.250 --> 00:38:16.583 [Steve] All right! 794 00:38:25.250 --> 00:38:26.166 Perfect. 795 00:38:27.625 --> 00:38:30.666 Tommy, I want mom to bring half my candy to the homeless shelter in the morning. 796 00:38:30.750 --> 00:38:32.625 Will you tell her when she gets home? 797 00:38:33.208 --> 00:38:34.041 Tommy? 798 00:38:35.625 --> 00:38:36.583 Tommy! 799 00:38:37.583 --> 00:38:38.416 Tommy? 800 00:38:39.333 --> 00:38:41.166 Tommy, where are you? 801 00:38:42.333 --> 00:38:44.541 [horror movie music playing] 802 00:38:44.625 --> 00:38:48.833 Danielle! Mom isn't home yet, and I can't find Tommy. I'm scared. 803 00:38:48.916 --> 00:38:52.083 -Did you check the basement? -I checked everywhere. He's not here. 804 00:38:52.791 --> 00:38:56.416 You know what that means? Our brother's in love. 805 00:38:57.625 --> 00:38:58.458 Ew! 806 00:38:58.541 --> 00:39:00.125 [screaming] 807 00:39:00.208 --> 00:39:03.625 ["Dancing with the Devil" playing live] 808 00:39:03.708 --> 00:39:06.958 ♪ Ghosts and goblins very scary ♪ 809 00:39:10.458 --> 00:39:13.791 ♪ Wolfman's back is very hairy… ♪ 810 00:39:16.166 --> 00:39:18.041 How we doin', ladies? 811 00:39:18.750 --> 00:39:20.125 Great, Freddie Mercury. 812 00:39:20.208 --> 00:39:24.250 So lit to have freshman girls here. New crop of hotties to hit on. 813 00:39:24.333 --> 00:39:26.416 Hey! Easy, Mikey. My sister's a freshman. 814 00:39:26.500 --> 00:39:29.375 Dude, I would never even consider your sister in that way. 815 00:39:29.458 --> 00:39:31.458 She's got no personality and a greasy forehead. 816 00:39:32.041 --> 00:39:33.250 You're a good friend, man. 817 00:39:33.333 --> 00:39:34.375 [man shouts] Ha ha ha! 818 00:39:34.875 --> 00:39:35.833 [sighs] 819 00:39:36.500 --> 00:39:37.416 [gasps] 820 00:39:38.875 --> 00:39:39.916 Hi. 821 00:39:40.000 --> 00:39:43.083 Didn't I see you on Union Street a couple of hours ago trick-or-treating? 822 00:39:44.000 --> 00:39:47.083 Well, I had to take out my two new sisters, remember? 823 00:39:47.166 --> 00:39:50.416 I don't know. I thought I saw you hold open your bag to get some candy. 824 00:39:50.500 --> 00:39:52.375 That's not babysitting, that's trick-or-treating. 825 00:39:52.458 --> 00:39:54.500 Oh, my God. I know, I know. It's so pathetic. 826 00:39:54.583 --> 00:39:55.666 It's not pathetic. 827 00:39:56.416 --> 00:39:58.000 If you brought me a Kit Kat bar. 828 00:39:58.083 --> 00:40:00.791 Well, I have a few. 829 00:40:05.416 --> 00:40:06.666 ♪ Devil ♪ 830 00:40:06.750 --> 00:40:09.250 ♪ Dancing with the Devil ♪ 831 00:40:09.333 --> 00:40:11.166 [crowd cheering] 832 00:40:11.250 --> 00:40:13.125 ["Get Freaky" playing] 833 00:40:13.208 --> 00:40:14.625 ♪ Freaky, freaky, freaky… ♪ 834 00:40:17.958 --> 00:40:20.625 -Excuse me. Smokers for chokers. -[glass shatters] 835 00:40:20.708 --> 00:40:22.208 -What's your problem? -I got a problem? 836 00:40:22.291 --> 00:40:23.375 I think you got the problem. 837 00:40:23.458 --> 00:40:24.416 How we doing, guys? 838 00:40:24.500 --> 00:40:27.041 -[man 1] What's up, old man? -Got some ID for that drink? 839 00:40:27.125 --> 00:40:28.958 -What? -Yeah, not on my watch. 840 00:40:29.041 --> 00:40:30.750 -What the hell? -It's for the best. 841 00:40:31.875 --> 00:40:35.083 And I think we are gonna dehydrate. Let's break that up. 842 00:40:35.166 --> 00:40:37.583 -Watch it, GI Jackass. -[man 2] You wanna die? 843 00:40:37.666 --> 00:40:38.750 Not yet. 844 00:40:38.833 --> 00:40:42.416 Uh, excuse me, Grandpa Thermos, you need to leave the party right now. 845 00:40:43.000 --> 00:40:45.291 Leave public property? I don't see that happening. 846 00:40:45.375 --> 00:40:47.791 Leave. Or I'll beat you with a tire iron. 847 00:40:47.875 --> 00:40:49.166 You and whose army? 848 00:40:49.250 --> 00:40:50.083 Just me. 849 00:40:50.166 --> 00:40:52.333 -And me. -And me. 850 00:40:52.416 --> 00:40:54.750 -And me. -And definitely me. 851 00:40:54.833 --> 00:40:58.666 -Let's kill him! -[all clamoring] Yeah! Yeah! 852 00:40:58.750 --> 00:41:00.291 Hang on! All right. 853 00:41:00.375 --> 00:41:04.125 I realize I might have gone too far for your teenage mental capacities 854 00:41:04.208 --> 00:41:05.833 and that is a boner on my part. 855 00:41:06.333 --> 00:41:07.541 [all laughing] 856 00:41:07.625 --> 00:41:10.250 -I don't think he knows what boner means. -No, definitely not. 857 00:41:10.333 --> 00:41:12.666 When I was your age, I made some huge boners. 858 00:41:12.750 --> 00:41:14.583 [all laughing] 859 00:41:14.666 --> 00:41:16.666 Boners that I wish I could get back now. 860 00:41:16.750 --> 00:41:17.625 [all laughing] 861 00:41:17.708 --> 00:41:19.541 Listen, give me a minute head start, 862 00:41:19.625 --> 00:41:21.791 then tell him there's a kid stuck in the corn maze. 863 00:41:21.875 --> 00:41:23.458 And why am I doing that? 864 00:41:23.541 --> 00:41:27.000 'Cause I am going to scare the living crap out of him. 865 00:41:27.083 --> 00:41:28.500 Really? Does he scare easy? 866 00:41:30.208 --> 00:41:31.708 [screams] Oh my… 867 00:41:31.791 --> 00:41:34.291 [screaming] Ah! Oh! 868 00:41:34.375 --> 00:41:36.791 -[screams] -[screaming] 869 00:41:36.875 --> 00:41:38.333 Yes. 870 00:41:38.416 --> 00:41:39.625 Yes, he does. 871 00:41:39.708 --> 00:41:41.125 [dance music continues playing] 872 00:41:41.208 --> 00:41:43.458 [Hubie] Actually, I had a good time with you guys after all. 873 00:41:43.541 --> 00:41:47.083 It was fun. Hope we do it again next year. Give a hoot, don't pollute. 874 00:41:47.166 --> 00:41:50.125 -[coughs] Isn't that Woodsy the Owl? -No, he was Tootsie Pops. 875 00:41:50.208 --> 00:41:51.166 Hey, Mr. Pubois. 876 00:41:51.708 --> 00:41:52.875 -Dubois. -Dubois. 877 00:41:53.458 --> 00:41:55.541 I think I saw a little kid get lost in the Corn Maze. 878 00:41:55.625 --> 00:41:56.625 In the what? 879 00:41:57.291 --> 00:41:59.500 I heard him scream, "Help!" Then he started crying. 880 00:41:59.583 --> 00:42:01.208 My God, it's just-- it's just a little kid! 881 00:42:01.291 --> 00:42:02.750 Okay. Handle your high. 882 00:42:02.833 --> 00:42:05.750 I am a member of the AUU. This is what I was trained to do. 883 00:42:06.291 --> 00:42:07.291 [yells] Hoo-ah! 884 00:42:09.166 --> 00:42:12.000 [wheezing, grunting] 885 00:42:14.208 --> 00:42:15.583 I think we're good! 886 00:42:15.666 --> 00:42:17.541 [all laughing] 887 00:42:17.625 --> 00:42:20.750 Messing with Shoobie Dubois. A Salem tradition. 888 00:42:21.333 --> 00:42:23.291 My grandma gave him his first titty-twister. 889 00:42:23.375 --> 00:42:25.333 [all laughing] 890 00:42:25.416 --> 00:42:28.041 -What a bunch of jerks. -Should we go tell him it's a prank? 891 00:42:28.833 --> 00:42:30.791 I knew I liked you, freshman. Come on. 892 00:42:31.666 --> 00:42:34.125 Excuse me, excuse me, Bride of Skankenstein. Yeah, thank you. 893 00:42:53.041 --> 00:42:57.750 If you can hear me, please call out so I can determine your whereabouts! 894 00:42:58.833 --> 00:43:00.583 Do not be fearful, little one! 895 00:43:01.125 --> 00:43:02.041 Announce yourself! 896 00:43:04.083 --> 00:43:05.291 [girl] Hubie! 897 00:43:05.375 --> 00:43:06.541 [Tommy] Mr. Dubois! 898 00:43:07.166 --> 00:43:08.083 [girl] Hubie! 899 00:43:08.875 --> 00:43:09.916 [Tommy] Hello! 900 00:43:10.000 --> 00:43:11.750 -Where are you? -Should we split up? 901 00:43:12.291 --> 00:43:14.166 I don't know. That sounds like a big boner. 902 00:43:14.291 --> 00:43:15.416 -What? -I'm just kidding. 903 00:43:15.500 --> 00:43:17.791 -[girl] Yeah, go that way… -[heavy breathing] 904 00:43:17.875 --> 00:43:20.541 [Hubie] Is anyone out there? Sound off! 905 00:43:20.625 --> 00:43:23.875 Tonight's temperatures will dip below 28 degrees! 906 00:43:23.958 --> 00:43:26.333 Your nervous system cannot handle that! 907 00:43:26.416 --> 00:43:28.125 Sasquatch could not handle that! 908 00:43:29.083 --> 00:43:31.500 [girl] Mr. Dubois? Hello! 909 00:43:34.041 --> 00:43:35.791 Hey, Tommy, hey! 910 00:43:39.583 --> 00:43:41.541 -Mr. Dubois! [screams] -[laughs] 911 00:43:41.625 --> 00:43:44.000 What the hell, Mike? Why would you do that? 912 00:43:44.083 --> 00:43:46.916 Hey, whoa! I'm sorry. Come on, I couldn't resist. 913 00:43:47.000 --> 00:43:48.250 [Tommy] That wasn't cool, man. 914 00:43:48.625 --> 00:43:49.875 Hey, coffee boy. 915 00:43:49.958 --> 00:43:51.375 You're that freshman, right? 916 00:43:52.166 --> 00:43:53.958 Uh, yeah. 917 00:43:54.041 --> 00:43:56.625 Yeah, well, welcome to your first high school fight. 918 00:43:56.708 --> 00:43:57.625 [grunts] 919 00:43:58.208 --> 00:43:59.375 [girl] Tommy! 920 00:44:00.250 --> 00:44:03.458 Megan McNally, you like underclassmen? 921 00:44:04.583 --> 00:44:06.041 Oh, that's adorable. 922 00:44:06.125 --> 00:44:06.958 [Hubie] Hello! 923 00:44:09.583 --> 00:44:11.083 Is the fight over? Did I win? 924 00:44:11.666 --> 00:44:13.666 Yeah, yeah. Yeah, you kicked his ass. Come on. 925 00:44:14.791 --> 00:44:17.750 [Hubie] Is anyone out there? Sound off! 926 00:44:17.833 --> 00:44:19.333 [high-pitched voice] Help! 927 00:44:20.666 --> 00:44:24.041 Remain in place! I will find you! 928 00:44:24.666 --> 00:44:27.583 Not if I find you first! [snickers] 929 00:44:27.666 --> 00:44:31.708 Take me, evil one! Just do not harm the child! 930 00:44:31.791 --> 00:44:33.333 [high-pitched voice] Help, Hubie! 931 00:44:33.416 --> 00:44:36.000 [snickering] 932 00:44:37.375 --> 00:44:38.875 No! 933 00:44:40.083 --> 00:44:41.666 Dad? Is that you? 934 00:44:42.791 --> 00:44:44.458 Does Mom know you're still alive? 935 00:44:45.833 --> 00:44:47.083 Are you still mad at me? 936 00:44:47.166 --> 00:44:49.750 No. It's Tommy, Violet Valentine's son. 937 00:44:49.833 --> 00:44:51.875 Yeah, and Megan. I work down at the coffee shop. 938 00:44:51.958 --> 00:44:54.583 I give you free hot water for your dehydrated soup sometimes. 939 00:44:54.666 --> 00:44:56.416 Yes. Much appreciated. 940 00:44:56.500 --> 00:45:00.250 The reason I take it for free is 'cause I don't have money. 941 00:45:00.333 --> 00:45:03.791 Anyway, we came over here to tell you that there's no lost kid. 942 00:45:04.500 --> 00:45:05.416 No one's lost? 943 00:45:05.500 --> 00:45:07.708 Yeah, it's just Mike Mundi trying to pull a prank on you. 944 00:45:08.583 --> 00:45:09.791 Prank? No, I knew that. 945 00:45:11.916 --> 00:45:13.125 So, I like the costumes. 946 00:45:14.000 --> 00:45:16.083 -Garbage can? -Yeah. Tin Man. 947 00:45:16.166 --> 00:45:17.916 And Red Riding Hood. 948 00:45:18.000 --> 00:45:20.958 I want to be honest with you. Might not be a good year for it. 949 00:45:21.041 --> 00:45:24.875 Um, between us, there is a man-wolf on the loose. 950 00:45:25.458 --> 00:45:28.333 Then maybe should I head inside? 951 00:45:28.416 --> 00:45:29.416 A wise decision. 952 00:45:29.500 --> 00:45:32.041 By the way, my mom was talking about you tonight. 953 00:45:32.625 --> 00:45:34.041 Your mom was talking about me? 954 00:45:34.500 --> 00:45:35.541 What'd she say? 955 00:45:35.625 --> 00:45:37.208 Just that you are nice. 956 00:45:38.000 --> 00:45:38.833 Well, I am nice. 957 00:45:39.333 --> 00:45:41.958 Because I'm not gonna tell her that you're out here playing Romeo 958 00:45:42.041 --> 00:45:44.208 instead of watching your two little sisters. 959 00:45:45.000 --> 00:45:47.208 -Well, now I feel bad. -I know you feel bad. 960 00:45:47.291 --> 00:45:49.625 -'Cause you got a big heart. -Thanks. 961 00:45:49.708 --> 00:45:51.666 So, I'm gonna let you two guys take off without me. 962 00:45:51.750 --> 00:45:53.666 I'll give you a head start in the name of romance. 963 00:45:54.250 --> 00:45:56.791 -Okay. Go ahead, guys. Take care, now. -[Tommy] Thanks, Mr. Dubois. 964 00:45:56.875 --> 00:45:58.833 -[Megan] Happy Halloween. -Not looking, guys! 965 00:46:08.833 --> 00:46:10.583 Same corn over and over. 966 00:46:12.000 --> 00:46:15.583 I should've left with the others, 'cause I have no idea where I am. 967 00:46:16.250 --> 00:46:19.333 So, I came from there. I already was there. 968 00:46:21.708 --> 00:46:24.208 Can't believe I don't have a compass on my thermos. 969 00:46:25.000 --> 00:46:25.875 [muffled scream] 970 00:46:33.208 --> 00:46:35.250 [muffled screaming] Help me! 971 00:46:36.375 --> 00:46:38.291 Michael Mundi. 972 00:46:38.375 --> 00:46:39.541 [muffled screaming] Help me! 973 00:46:39.625 --> 00:46:45.041 Listen, I am a fan of a Halloween zinger as much as the next guy, but… 974 00:46:45.125 --> 00:46:46.250 [grunting] 975 00:46:46.333 --> 00:46:47.416 What? What'd you say? 976 00:46:52.291 --> 00:46:54.000 Michael? Michael! 977 00:46:57.541 --> 00:46:58.375 What the-- 978 00:47:07.875 --> 00:47:14.875 [screaming] What? 979 00:47:16.791 --> 00:47:19.958 [Aurora] It's nine o'clock in Salem, which means all you trick-or-treaters 980 00:47:20.041 --> 00:47:22.916 have counted up your candy corns and are gettin' ready for bed. 981 00:47:23.000 --> 00:47:24.166 What the heck? 982 00:47:24.250 --> 00:47:26.750 [Aurora] But that don't mean the fun stops for all of us. 983 00:47:27.166 --> 00:47:30.416 -Hubie, I can't do this. -Michael Mundi was abducted. 984 00:47:30.500 --> 00:47:32.458 I found a ticket to the drive-in at the scene. 985 00:47:32.541 --> 00:47:33.583 Great. Start there. 986 00:47:36.041 --> 00:47:38.541 [Aurora] So, now's the time for us big boys and girls 987 00:47:38.625 --> 00:47:39.958 to get up to some real mischief. 988 00:47:40.041 --> 00:47:41.375 [oldies rock music playing] 989 00:47:41.458 --> 00:47:45.083 [Aurora] And watch out. It's always the quiet ones who get the most naughty. 990 00:47:45.166 --> 00:47:46.708 [woman cackling maniacally] 991 00:47:46.791 --> 00:47:49.958 Violet, where the hell were you? We're falling behind out there. 992 00:47:50.041 --> 00:47:53.541 Well, I was on the phone with the credit card company. 993 00:47:53.625 --> 00:47:56.750 They didn't know I had an extension. I'm so sorry, Mr. Tayback. 994 00:47:56.833 --> 00:47:59.250 You know how much credit card debt I'm in right now? 995 00:47:59.333 --> 00:48:00.458 Nobody gives a crap! 996 00:48:01.250 --> 00:48:03.791 Just do your job. No breaks on Halloween. 997 00:48:03.875 --> 00:48:06.000 -[phone buzzing] -♪ Party in the mummy's tomb ♪ 998 00:48:06.083 --> 00:48:09.750 ♪ And she's in love With the creature from the black lagoon ♪ 999 00:48:10.375 --> 00:48:12.791 [female voice] Your call has been forwarded to an automated-- 1000 00:48:13.458 --> 00:48:14.458 She's not answering. 1001 00:48:15.333 --> 00:48:16.833 Don't worry, we'll find Tommy. 1002 00:48:20.666 --> 00:48:23.708 I am your father, and I demand some respect. 1003 00:48:23.791 --> 00:48:26.666 You are grounded for the next six months. 1004 00:48:28.041 --> 00:48:28.958 [gasps] 1005 00:48:29.875 --> 00:48:31.166 -[screaming] -[chomps] 1006 00:48:33.041 --> 00:48:34.291 You son of a-- 1007 00:48:34.375 --> 00:48:35.416 [chuckles] 1008 00:48:36.166 --> 00:48:38.833 -Mmm. Hey! -Hey. 1009 00:48:38.916 --> 00:48:39.916 [sighs] 1010 00:48:40.958 --> 00:48:42.333 So, did I miss anything? 1011 00:48:42.416 --> 00:48:44.250 Yeah, you just missed the best part! 1012 00:48:45.541 --> 00:48:48.708 The best part is spending time alone with you. 1013 00:48:48.791 --> 00:48:49.750 [chuckles] 1014 00:48:51.291 --> 00:48:54.416 [moaning softly] 1015 00:48:54.500 --> 00:48:58.250 [high-pitched moaning] 1016 00:48:58.333 --> 00:48:59.250 [laughs] 1017 00:48:59.333 --> 00:49:00.208 Did that turn you on? 1018 00:49:00.291 --> 00:49:03.083 How is sucking on fake fingers supposed to turn me on? 1019 00:49:03.166 --> 00:49:05.208 Well, imagine that they're your fingers. 1020 00:49:05.291 --> 00:49:08.458 They're men's fingers. Are you saying I have men's fingers? 1021 00:49:08.541 --> 00:49:10.916 Okay, look, I was just trying something, okay? 1022 00:49:11.000 --> 00:49:12.916 -Something different. -Jeez, man. 1023 00:49:13.000 --> 00:49:15.375 [sighs] Remember we used to come here in high school? 1024 00:49:15.458 --> 00:49:19.708 Mm-hmm. Feels exactly the same, too. We got Hubie Dubois spying on everybody. 1025 00:49:21.375 --> 00:49:23.875 I gotta say, it's pretty impressive how long he's been a loser. 1026 00:49:24.375 --> 00:49:26.416 -I got a great idea. -[woman on-screen screaming] 1027 00:49:26.500 --> 00:49:29.750 It's kinda evil, but stick with me. 1028 00:49:29.833 --> 00:49:31.666 Now, that turns me on. 1029 00:49:31.750 --> 00:49:36.083 [both laughing] 1030 00:49:39.041 --> 00:49:40.041 Michael Mundi. 1031 00:49:40.125 --> 00:49:41.833 [clicking pen] 1032 00:49:41.916 --> 00:49:44.333 Scheduled to come to the Creature Double Feature. 1033 00:49:45.333 --> 00:49:46.541 To meet who? 1034 00:49:48.000 --> 00:49:50.916 To kill his next victim? 1035 00:49:51.000 --> 00:49:52.875 -[woman] Hubie. -[screaming] Murder! 1036 00:49:53.916 --> 00:49:55.041 You okay, big man? 1037 00:49:55.125 --> 00:49:56.000 Mrs. Hennessy. 1038 00:49:58.666 --> 00:50:02.208 I am actually doing a follow-up on a classified situation. 1039 00:50:02.291 --> 00:50:04.166 Did you lose your thermos or some shit? 1040 00:50:04.250 --> 00:50:06.083 Oh, that'll never happen. 1041 00:50:06.541 --> 00:50:07.583 [clicking] 1042 00:50:11.083 --> 00:50:14.000 Anyway, I saw something earlier. 1043 00:50:14.083 --> 00:50:14.916 Mm-hmm. 1044 00:50:15.000 --> 00:50:17.916 Something suspicious. 1045 00:50:18.500 --> 00:50:20.166 Ears are in open position. 1046 00:50:21.333 --> 00:50:22.833 This is gonna sound nuts. 1047 00:50:22.916 --> 00:50:25.291 But I was going to get popcorn earlier, 1048 00:50:25.375 --> 00:50:30.208 when this freaky old-timey car pulled into the lot. 1049 00:50:30.833 --> 00:50:32.541 And the driver was-- 1050 00:50:33.500 --> 00:50:35.500 You just gotta see it to believe it. 1051 00:50:36.875 --> 00:50:40.791 Could you possibly point me in the direction of this strange vehicle? 1052 00:50:41.750 --> 00:50:42.583 It's that one. 1053 00:50:43.458 --> 00:50:44.291 Right there. 1054 00:50:46.750 --> 00:50:47.583 Okay. 1055 00:50:51.416 --> 00:50:52.333 Let's take a look. 1056 00:50:55.291 --> 00:50:56.541 -Oh, and, uh… -Yes? 1057 00:50:57.375 --> 00:51:00.208 Hubie, do be… careful. 1058 00:51:00.666 --> 00:51:02.916 [man on-screen shouting] 1059 00:51:18.541 --> 00:51:20.416 [car starts] 1060 00:51:27.875 --> 00:51:29.208 What the what? 1061 00:51:31.000 --> 00:51:32.041 Okay, whoa, there. 1062 00:51:33.958 --> 00:51:35.375 Step out of the vehicle! 1063 00:51:36.500 --> 00:51:40.375 We can do this the easy way or the paddle way. It's up to you. 1064 00:51:41.291 --> 00:51:42.458 [engine revs] 1065 00:51:46.375 --> 00:51:47.416 Ghost! 1066 00:51:48.375 --> 00:51:50.541 [Hubie screaming] 1067 00:51:50.625 --> 00:51:51.875 Help me! 1068 00:51:52.333 --> 00:51:53.416 [screaming, muttering] 1069 00:51:53.500 --> 00:51:54.500 What are you? 1070 00:51:54.583 --> 00:51:55.916 [whimpering] 1071 00:51:56.000 --> 00:51:56.833 Help me! 1072 00:51:57.791 --> 00:51:58.875 [screaming] 1073 00:51:58.958 --> 00:52:00.708 No! Oh, God! 1074 00:52:00.791 --> 00:52:01.666 Why? 1075 00:52:01.750 --> 00:52:04.583 [kids shouting, clamoring] Get him! 1076 00:52:04.666 --> 00:52:05.916 What the heck? 1077 00:52:06.000 --> 00:52:07.000 [laughing] 1078 00:52:07.083 --> 00:52:09.541 [kids continue shouting] 1079 00:52:09.625 --> 00:52:10.541 [Hubie screams] 1080 00:52:12.416 --> 00:52:13.416 [Hubie mutters] 1081 00:52:15.958 --> 00:52:17.000 [screaming] 1082 00:52:17.083 --> 00:52:18.416 [grunts] Help me! 1083 00:52:18.500 --> 00:52:19.333 [thuds] 1084 00:52:19.416 --> 00:52:23.416 [laughing] 1085 00:52:23.500 --> 00:52:25.375 -Now do you want me? -[Mrs. Hennessy] No! 1086 00:52:25.458 --> 00:52:27.375 [laughing, crying] 1087 00:52:27.833 --> 00:52:30.333 [Hubie] There's a time and a place for hijinks! 1088 00:52:30.958 --> 00:52:33.333 But there's a situation going on here! 1089 00:52:33.416 --> 00:52:34.791 [rustling] 1090 00:52:34.875 --> 00:52:36.500 -[growls] -[screams] 1091 00:52:38.916 --> 00:52:41.500 Hubie. It's funny seeing you here. 1092 00:52:41.583 --> 00:52:42.666 [chuckling] 1093 00:52:42.750 --> 00:52:44.833 I'm sorry about before. In the basement. 1094 00:52:45.583 --> 00:52:47.250 I really wasn't feeling myself. 1095 00:52:47.333 --> 00:52:49.375 I don't know if I like you much better now. 1096 00:52:49.458 --> 00:52:52.041 You didn't tell anybody about that, did you, Hubie? 1097 00:52:52.125 --> 00:52:54.375 Why? You have secrets, Mr. Lambert? 1098 00:52:54.958 --> 00:52:58.666 As in, secretly dropping by the corn maze earlier tonight? 1099 00:52:58.750 --> 00:52:59.625 Did anybody get-- 1100 00:53:00.500 --> 00:53:01.583 [panting, heaving] 1101 00:53:01.666 --> 00:53:03.625 -Mr. Lambert. -Walter. 1102 00:53:03.708 --> 00:53:07.250 Your tombstone says that you have yet to die. 1103 00:53:07.333 --> 00:53:11.625 Are you a human being, or are you a moon-crazed beast 1104 00:53:12.208 --> 00:53:16.833 from beyond the grave, grave, grave? 1105 00:53:17.166 --> 00:53:20.708 [snarling, howling] 1106 00:53:20.791 --> 00:53:23.291 Hold that thought! I gotta split! 1107 00:53:24.000 --> 00:53:24.916 Mr. Lambert! 1108 00:53:26.166 --> 00:53:27.833 That just answered my question. 1109 00:53:28.541 --> 00:53:33.750 [crowd cheering, clamoring] 1110 00:53:33.833 --> 00:53:36.041 [male announcer] Oh, man. That's another one. 1111 00:53:36.125 --> 00:53:37.333 [marching band playing fanfare] 1112 00:53:37.416 --> 00:53:40.750 What a man! What a mouth! And on his first try. 1113 00:53:40.833 --> 00:53:43.083 Have a round of applause, everyone. 1114 00:53:43.166 --> 00:53:44.458 Who's next? 1115 00:53:44.541 --> 00:53:46.291 If the mayor can do it, so can you. 1116 00:53:46.875 --> 00:53:48.166 You, sir! Step on up. 1117 00:53:52.791 --> 00:53:54.958 Sorry to bother you, mayor, but it's important. 1118 00:53:55.041 --> 00:53:56.458 [muffled muttering] 1119 00:53:57.958 --> 00:53:59.250 [gasps] 1120 00:54:01.083 --> 00:54:02.125 What is it, Sergeant? 1121 00:54:02.208 --> 00:54:03.916 About an hour ago, I got a strange report 1122 00:54:04.000 --> 00:54:05.875 of a missing high school kid from Hubie Dubois. 1123 00:54:06.375 --> 00:54:09.458 After I laughed it off as usual, I got a call from the kid's mother. 1124 00:54:09.541 --> 00:54:10.750 He actually never made it home. 1125 00:54:10.833 --> 00:54:13.583 This Richard Hartman thing has got you jumpy as hell. 1126 00:54:13.666 --> 00:54:16.375 I suggest we cancel the fireworks show immediately. 1127 00:54:16.458 --> 00:54:18.791 We ain't canceling a damn thing, Sergeant. 1128 00:54:18.875 --> 00:54:20.083 We got an unsolved mystery! 1129 00:54:20.166 --> 00:54:23.041 Eighty-five percent of the tourism dollars spent in this town 1130 00:54:23.125 --> 00:54:24.500 are spent on Halloween night. 1131 00:54:24.583 --> 00:54:28.625 And I'm not gonna let no high school peckerhead jeopardize that. 1132 00:54:28.708 --> 00:54:31.541 -I just think that-- -Trick-or-treat, smell my feet. 1133 00:54:31.625 --> 00:54:34.291 -I just think that you're not-- -Smell my feet. 1134 00:54:34.375 --> 00:54:37.250 -I just think that-- -Smell my feet. 1135 00:54:37.333 --> 00:54:38.625 [marching band continues playing] 1136 00:54:38.708 --> 00:54:40.083 You really want me to smell them? 1137 00:54:41.625 --> 00:54:43.416 [owl hooting] 1138 00:54:44.958 --> 00:54:46.125 [dog barking in distance] 1139 00:54:47.708 --> 00:54:50.041 [distant howling] 1140 00:54:50.125 --> 00:54:51.500 Let's just go back, Danielle. 1141 00:54:51.583 --> 00:54:55.000 I don't want Mom to get home and see that Tommy left us by ourselves. 1142 00:54:55.083 --> 00:54:57.166 I think we'll all get in really big trouble for that. 1143 00:54:57.250 --> 00:54:58.875 Are we even going the right way? 1144 00:55:03.166 --> 00:55:04.083 Excuse me, sir? 1145 00:55:05.208 --> 00:55:07.375 Do you know the quickest way to Wallace Orchard? 1146 00:55:13.875 --> 00:55:16.708 -♪ It was Halloween night at the castle… ♪ -Hey, handsome. Soup's ready. 1147 00:55:16.791 --> 00:55:20.583 One clam, one chicken noodle, and one split pea. 1148 00:55:21.083 --> 00:55:23.875 So, you seem a little stressed. I mean, what can I do to help ya out? 1149 00:55:23.958 --> 00:55:25.458 Maybe a glass of Chardonnay? 1150 00:55:25.541 --> 00:55:28.166 Well, to be honest with ya, I don't drink beer. 1151 00:55:28.250 --> 00:55:30.333 But do you have any silver bullets? 1152 00:55:30.416 --> 00:55:32.875 That is not on the menu tonight. 1153 00:55:32.958 --> 00:55:36.708 But I happen to be an excellent listener if you want to, you know, 1154 00:55:37.333 --> 00:55:38.500 share anything with me. 1155 00:55:39.333 --> 00:55:40.166 Okay. 1156 00:55:41.458 --> 00:55:42.625 We all have a purpose. 1157 00:55:43.291 --> 00:55:45.958 Some people's purpose is to make sure all the streets are clean. 1158 00:55:46.041 --> 00:55:47.083 Some people's purpose, 1159 00:55:47.166 --> 00:55:49.958 like Kenny Rogers', is to make sure there's great tunes on the radio 1160 00:55:50.041 --> 00:55:52.166 that we can all sing along with on road trips. 1161 00:55:52.250 --> 00:55:54.083 Some people's purpose, like you, 1162 00:55:54.166 --> 00:55:57.875 are here to make sure that kids without parents end up with a mom anyways. 1163 00:55:57.958 --> 00:56:00.875 Who is nice and kind to 'em and makes them feel loved. 1164 00:56:00.958 --> 00:56:03.041 -You happen to have any A1 Sauce? -Yeah. 1165 00:56:03.833 --> 00:56:04.708 My whole life, 1166 00:56:04.791 --> 00:56:07.375 I felt my purpose was to make sure everybody 1167 00:56:07.458 --> 00:56:09.541 was safe and sound on Halloween. 1168 00:56:09.625 --> 00:56:12.083 But tonight, I have failed massively. 1169 00:56:12.166 --> 00:56:13.166 [thermos whirring] 1170 00:56:13.250 --> 00:56:17.333 Because a fine young man was abducted under my watch. 1171 00:56:17.791 --> 00:56:19.625 -That's on me. -No. 1172 00:56:19.708 --> 00:56:20.708 Mmm. 1173 00:56:20.791 --> 00:56:22.666 [turns thermos off] 1174 00:56:22.750 --> 00:56:23.791 How can I help you? 1175 00:56:25.875 --> 00:56:28.333 You just did help me by listening to my story. 1176 00:56:30.291 --> 00:56:31.375 Be careful today. 1177 00:56:32.291 --> 00:56:33.416 Danger is afoot. 1178 00:56:33.500 --> 00:56:36.708 Oh, well, I don't worry about me. I worry about my kids. 1179 00:56:36.791 --> 00:56:39.166 Called home. None of 'em picked up. 1180 00:56:39.250 --> 00:56:41.875 They're probably just watching a movie, though, and… 1181 00:56:41.958 --> 00:56:44.000 -Tommy's keeping an eye on them. -Tommy? 1182 00:56:44.083 --> 00:56:46.500 I'm sure he's been there the whole time. Without a doubt. 1183 00:56:47.125 --> 00:56:49.750 The night is young. Appreciate you being nice to me. 1184 00:56:49.833 --> 00:56:51.250 Of course, Hubie. 1185 00:56:51.875 --> 00:56:53.375 You're the best person I know. 1186 00:56:53.916 --> 00:56:57.333 You're always thinking of everyone else and never of yourself. 1187 00:56:57.958 --> 00:56:59.833 But I guess that's why you're a hero. 1188 00:57:05.208 --> 00:57:06.500 [giggles] 1189 00:57:06.583 --> 00:57:11.458 Did you see how scared Scooby was when that car started moving? [laughing] 1190 00:57:11.541 --> 00:57:14.208 -With his ping-pong paddle at the ready! -Oh, my God! 1191 00:57:14.291 --> 00:57:15.958 What a buffoon! 1192 00:57:16.041 --> 00:57:19.041 [mocking Hubie's voice] Mr. Hennessy! Mr. Hennessy! 1193 00:57:19.125 --> 00:57:20.208 [screams] 1194 00:57:20.291 --> 00:57:21.250 [tires screech] 1195 00:57:23.625 --> 00:57:25.083 There's somebody in the road. 1196 00:57:26.500 --> 00:57:29.333 -Who the hell is that? -It's not moving. 1197 00:57:29.416 --> 00:57:30.791 Looks like a dummy. 1198 00:57:30.875 --> 00:57:33.208 You look like a dummy. Go out and get it out of the way. 1199 00:57:34.375 --> 00:57:35.208 Okay. 1200 00:57:36.500 --> 00:57:38.708 [puffs, inhales] 1201 00:57:38.791 --> 00:57:40.416 Now, see, that does it for me. 1202 00:57:40.500 --> 00:57:41.375 You like that? 1203 00:57:42.000 --> 00:57:42.833 No. 1204 00:57:45.250 --> 00:57:49.541 [open door alert dinging] 1205 00:58:00.375 --> 00:58:02.458 [text keys tapping] 1206 00:58:19.291 --> 00:58:20.208 Scarecrow? 1207 00:58:21.958 --> 00:58:23.041 [Mr. Hennessy screams] 1208 00:58:28.958 --> 00:58:29.791 Lester! 1209 00:58:36.500 --> 00:58:37.333 Lester! 1210 00:58:39.791 --> 00:58:41.875 I'm gonna kick your ass for this, Lester. 1211 00:58:45.125 --> 00:58:47.666 I swear to God, if you jump out of one of these bushes, 1212 00:58:47.750 --> 00:58:49.416 I'm gonna punch you in the face! 1213 00:58:57.291 --> 00:58:58.125 What the-- 1214 00:58:58.833 --> 00:58:59.666 Lester! 1215 00:58:59.750 --> 00:59:00.916 [panting] 1216 00:59:01.000 --> 00:59:01.958 Where are you? 1217 00:59:02.041 --> 00:59:03.958 [screaming] 1218 00:59:06.500 --> 00:59:08.500 [grunting] 1219 00:59:09.541 --> 00:59:12.208 [Hubie] Valentine family, where are you? 1220 00:59:12.958 --> 00:59:13.833 I'm coming! 1221 00:59:14.625 --> 00:59:16.416 Danielle! Cooky! 1222 00:59:17.833 --> 00:59:20.958 I say, "Marco." You say, "Polo." Marco! 1223 00:59:21.041 --> 00:59:21.875 [man 1] Weirdo! 1224 00:59:22.750 --> 00:59:23.791 Marco! 1225 00:59:23.875 --> 00:59:24.708 [man 2] Asshole! 1226 00:59:26.041 --> 00:59:28.333 [fire crackling] 1227 00:59:37.541 --> 00:59:41.541 [bare footsteps running] 1228 00:59:43.250 --> 00:59:46.583 Hubie Dubois! Is that you? 1229 00:59:47.375 --> 00:59:50.041 [Walter] Oh! You must be Mrs. Dubois! 1230 00:59:50.541 --> 00:59:51.666 I'm Walter! 1231 00:59:52.250 --> 00:59:54.416 Nice to meet you, Walter. 1232 00:59:54.500 --> 00:59:56.750 It's a shame what they've done to your lawn! 1233 00:59:57.583 --> 00:59:59.208 Happens every year! 1234 01:00:01.125 --> 01:00:02.000 [grunts] 1235 01:00:02.166 --> 01:00:03.000 [panting] 1236 01:00:03.083 --> 01:00:08.500 [grunting, shrieking] 1237 01:00:09.583 --> 01:00:10.833 [gasps] Oh! 1238 01:00:12.500 --> 01:00:14.333 [wailing] 1239 01:00:14.416 --> 01:00:16.416 [grunting, screaming] 1240 01:00:16.750 --> 01:00:18.083 [handcuffs clicking] 1241 01:00:18.166 --> 01:00:19.583 Not tonight! 1242 01:00:20.291 --> 01:00:22.958 [gasping, grunting] 1243 01:00:23.708 --> 01:00:28.083 [panting] 1244 01:00:37.541 --> 01:00:38.666 [sighs] 1245 01:00:40.875 --> 01:00:41.875 We need to talk. 1246 01:00:46.333 --> 01:00:47.458 [Tommy] They're not up here. 1247 01:00:48.208 --> 01:00:49.708 [Megan] They're not down here, either. 1248 01:00:50.541 --> 01:00:51.583 Danielle! 1249 01:00:51.666 --> 01:00:52.833 Cooky! 1250 01:00:52.916 --> 01:00:55.458 -We didn't find them. -Hey! It's okay. We'll figure it out. 1251 01:00:55.541 --> 01:00:56.958 -We'll find them. -[pounding at door] 1252 01:00:57.625 --> 01:00:58.458 [Tommy] Oh, no. 1253 01:00:58.833 --> 01:01:01.083 [doorknob rattling] 1254 01:01:04.166 --> 01:01:05.458 [creaking] 1255 01:01:11.500 --> 01:01:13.416 [all screaming] 1256 01:01:13.500 --> 01:01:14.500 What are we screaming at? 1257 01:01:14.583 --> 01:01:16.125 [Tommy and Megan sigh] 1258 01:01:16.208 --> 01:01:18.000 -Bam. -Mr. Dubois, I screwed up. 1259 01:01:18.083 --> 01:01:20.708 -I can't find my sisters. -You don't know where the kids are? Huh. 1260 01:01:21.375 --> 01:01:23.083 'Cause I do. They're right here. 1261 01:01:23.166 --> 01:01:25.041 -[girls] Tommy! Tommy! -Oh, my God! 1262 01:01:25.125 --> 01:01:27.458 I'm so sorry I left guys. I'm so glad you're okay. 1263 01:01:27.541 --> 01:01:29.625 You are so cute with them. 1264 01:01:29.708 --> 01:01:31.250 You have a girlfriend? 1265 01:01:31.958 --> 01:01:34.541 I saw 'em coming through the Old McMillan shortcut. 1266 01:01:34.625 --> 01:01:37.125 It was funny, 'cause not many people know where that shortcut is. 1267 01:01:37.208 --> 01:01:40.083 Just me and a friend of mine, Richie Hartman. When I was a kid, 1268 01:01:40.166 --> 01:01:43.416 we used to finish our band practice and shoot right through there. 1269 01:01:43.916 --> 01:01:46.541 -Well, at least everybody's safe. -No one in Salem is safe tonight. 1270 01:01:46.625 --> 01:01:49.541 Do you understand me, Tommy? That's why I'm putting this family on lockdown. 1271 01:01:49.625 --> 01:01:52.500 Now, Tommy, you call your mother. Let her know you're home. 1272 01:01:52.583 --> 01:01:54.000 Megan, you call your parents. 1273 01:01:54.083 --> 01:01:56.333 Let them know you're staying at a friend's. That's for you. 1274 01:01:56.416 --> 01:02:00.125 You two, do me a favor. Eat all the candy you want, and then go straight to sleep. 1275 01:02:00.708 --> 01:02:03.875 And lock this door! No matter what, don't answer it! 1276 01:02:03.958 --> 01:02:05.250 What're you gonna do, Mr. Dubois? 1277 01:02:05.333 --> 01:02:08.083 I'm gonna do what I do every October 31st. 1278 01:02:08.166 --> 01:02:11.708 Make sure every citizen in this town is safe and protected. 1279 01:02:13.208 --> 01:02:16.875 Um, but do you have a bathroom I could use? 'Cause I, uh… 1280 01:02:17.666 --> 01:02:19.125 The soup kinda went right through me. 1281 01:02:19.916 --> 01:02:21.333 Upstairs. 1282 01:02:21.416 --> 01:02:23.250 Toilet? Is it a big toilet? 1283 01:02:23.333 --> 01:02:25.458 'Cause I got a lot to do. 1284 01:02:27.958 --> 01:02:30.500 [howling in distance] 1285 01:02:32.416 --> 01:02:34.625 [barking, howling] 1286 01:02:35.750 --> 01:02:36.750 I know that howl. 1287 01:02:37.041 --> 01:02:38.625 [howling continues] 1288 01:02:38.708 --> 01:02:39.625 Walter Lambert! 1289 01:02:42.000 --> 01:02:45.208 [howling continues, loudly] 1290 01:02:45.291 --> 01:02:48.083 [girl screaming] 1291 01:02:48.166 --> 01:02:50.833 [crowd chattering] 1292 01:02:50.916 --> 01:02:53.875 [man laughing maniacally] 1293 01:02:53.958 --> 01:02:55.875 [howling continues] 1294 01:02:56.958 --> 01:02:58.750 The transformation is complete. 1295 01:02:59.208 --> 01:03:00.333 [dog grunts] 1296 01:03:01.291 --> 01:03:05.416 While I understand that you are now a mindless killing machine, 1297 01:03:05.500 --> 01:03:10.875 I would like to speak with the human being that is deep down below your fur. 1298 01:03:11.250 --> 01:03:12.458 [girl screaming in distance] 1299 01:03:12.541 --> 01:03:13.458 Mr. Lambert. 1300 01:03:13.541 --> 01:03:14.500 [dog grunts] 1301 01:03:14.583 --> 01:03:15.416 Walter. 1302 01:03:17.125 --> 01:03:21.458 I cannot, in good faith, allow you to hurt another soul tonight, 1303 01:03:21.541 --> 01:03:24.791 even though this is Halloween, and even though I know this is-- 1304 01:03:26.083 --> 01:03:28.666 Mr. Lambert, you're better than that. 1305 01:03:28.750 --> 01:03:31.708 You-- Did you really wanna defecate in front of me, sir? 1306 01:03:32.916 --> 01:03:34.291 Oh, now, you're eating it! 1307 01:03:34.375 --> 01:03:36.750 Is that Michael Mundi you're eating right now? 1308 01:03:36.833 --> 01:03:39.083 Is he inside your feces? 1309 01:03:39.166 --> 01:03:42.375 -[barking] -Mr. Lambert! Get over here! 1310 01:03:42.458 --> 01:03:43.958 [woman screaming] 1311 01:03:44.750 --> 01:03:45.875 [man screaming] 1312 01:03:45.958 --> 01:03:47.708 [Hubie's voice] The only way to slay the beast 1313 01:03:47.791 --> 01:03:50.583 is a silver bullet right between the eyes. 1314 01:03:52.375 --> 01:03:54.166 [hollering] 1315 01:03:54.250 --> 01:03:55.583 Yo, dawg! That's my bullet! 1316 01:03:55.666 --> 01:03:56.541 [Hubie] Come here! 1317 01:03:56.625 --> 01:03:57.625 [hollering] 1318 01:03:57.708 --> 01:04:00.583 Oh! [panting, screaming] 1319 01:04:00.666 --> 01:04:01.500 Mr. Lambert? 1320 01:04:01.583 --> 01:04:02.916 [spooky theremin music playing] 1321 01:04:03.000 --> 01:04:03.833 Mr. Lambert. 1322 01:04:05.416 --> 01:04:06.500 Mr. Lambert? 1323 01:04:07.000 --> 01:04:09.000 [moaning, crying] 1324 01:04:09.083 --> 01:04:10.541 Mr. Lambert. 1325 01:04:11.708 --> 01:04:14.458 -[screeching, snarling] -[Hubie screaming] 1326 01:04:23.625 --> 01:04:24.583 [screams] 1327 01:04:26.000 --> 01:04:26.875 Mr. Lambert. 1328 01:04:27.750 --> 01:04:29.125 This is not your fault! 1329 01:04:30.041 --> 01:04:31.000 You are cursed! 1330 01:04:31.083 --> 01:04:31.958 Hello. 1331 01:04:32.833 --> 01:04:34.750 [screaming] 1332 01:04:34.833 --> 01:04:37.166 Mommy! No! Help me, Mommy! 1333 01:04:37.250 --> 01:04:39.833 Help me! Help me! 1334 01:04:39.916 --> 01:04:43.833 [sobbing, heaving] 1335 01:04:43.916 --> 01:04:45.875 -[man] And stay out! -[women laughing] 1336 01:04:45.958 --> 01:04:49.291 Oh, my God! Oh, my God! 1337 01:04:49.375 --> 01:04:50.541 That was so terrifying! 1338 01:04:50.625 --> 01:04:52.958 -That was even crazier than last year! -Yes! 1339 01:04:53.041 --> 01:04:55.500 -How much fun was that? -That was so much fun. [laughing] 1340 01:04:55.583 --> 01:04:58.291 It almost made me forget that I buried my father today. 1341 01:04:58.958 --> 01:05:00.083 Oh, I'm sorry. 1342 01:05:00.166 --> 01:05:04.291 No, it's a good thing. I mean, not for him so much, 1343 01:05:04.375 --> 01:05:07.375 but it's given me time to be introspective. 1344 01:05:07.833 --> 01:05:09.291 -That's good. -I'm Pete Landolfa. 1345 01:05:09.375 --> 01:05:10.541 Oh, I'm Chantal. 1346 01:05:10.625 --> 01:05:11.583 -Chantal? -Yeah. 1347 01:05:11.666 --> 01:05:14.250 [spooky theremin music playing] 1348 01:05:18.000 --> 01:05:18.833 Come to me. 1349 01:05:22.208 --> 01:05:24.083 Walter. Come! 1350 01:05:26.916 --> 01:05:27.750 Here, Walter. 1351 01:05:27.833 --> 01:05:29.250 [patting leg] 1352 01:05:33.333 --> 01:05:34.458 I don't wanna do this. 1353 01:05:34.958 --> 01:05:36.958 You've been a very good neighbor to me. 1354 01:05:37.041 --> 01:05:39.041 But what has to be done, has to be done. 1355 01:05:40.500 --> 01:05:42.541 Right between… 1356 01:05:43.791 --> 01:05:44.708 the eyes! 1357 01:05:46.833 --> 01:05:49.041 Oh, no. 1358 01:05:49.125 --> 01:05:50.083 -[dog barks] -No! 1359 01:05:50.166 --> 01:05:51.958 Homeboy. Are you okay, man? 1360 01:05:52.041 --> 01:05:55.000 [screaming hysterically] 1361 01:05:55.083 --> 01:05:56.000 -Dude. -No! 1362 01:05:56.083 --> 01:05:58.625 This is not real. You get that, right? 1363 01:05:58.708 --> 01:06:01.083 We're just trying to raise money for our school. 1364 01:06:01.166 --> 01:06:02.916 [continues screaming] 1365 01:06:03.000 --> 01:06:03.958 Wait a second. 1366 01:06:04.958 --> 01:06:06.500 -Are you hittin' on me? -[laughing] 1367 01:06:06.583 --> 01:06:08.583 Because if so, that is incredibly sick. 1368 01:06:08.666 --> 01:06:10.125 We're having a conversation. 1369 01:06:10.208 --> 01:06:12.916 Mm-mmm. 'Cause you're, like, three times my age, okay? 1370 01:06:13.000 --> 01:06:16.750 Thrice. I was born around the same time you had your first heart bypass. 1371 01:06:16.833 --> 01:06:20.583 -[dog barks] -Oh, Buster! Hey, my big boy. 1372 01:06:20.666 --> 01:06:24.500 Are you here to protect me from this weirdo man that's trying to hit on me? 1373 01:06:24.583 --> 01:06:27.125 -[screaming hysterically] -[growls] 1374 01:06:28.875 --> 01:06:31.500 [screaming] My eyes are on fire! 1375 01:06:31.583 --> 01:06:33.500 -Why would you mace me? -Yo. 1376 01:06:33.583 --> 01:06:35.125 I'm a dentist. I help people! 1377 01:06:35.208 --> 01:06:37.708 Liar! Lucifer! 1378 01:06:37.791 --> 01:06:41.083 [laughing] That sounds like Hubie Dubois. 1379 01:06:41.166 --> 01:06:44.833 And since I struck out with you, I'm gonna take it out on him. 1380 01:06:45.458 --> 01:06:46.708 Have fun with that. 1381 01:06:47.375 --> 01:06:49.458 [man laughing maniacally] 1382 01:06:51.041 --> 01:06:52.916 [panting] 1383 01:06:53.000 --> 01:06:56.000 [maniacal laughter continues] 1384 01:06:57.000 --> 01:06:58.666 [gasps] Oh! Oh! 1385 01:06:59.500 --> 01:07:02.000 You gotta be-- Whoa. [chuckles] 1386 01:07:03.166 --> 01:07:06.583 There's this goof headed his way. Hubie Dubois. 1387 01:07:06.666 --> 01:07:09.541 When he gets here, I'll handle the scaring. 1388 01:07:09.625 --> 01:07:11.750 You just sit back and enjoy. [snickers] 1389 01:07:13.000 --> 01:07:15.458 [Hubie] Attention, haunted house patrons. 1390 01:07:15.541 --> 01:07:18.666 This is a direct order from the AUU. 1391 01:07:18.750 --> 01:07:21.583 Move quickly and quietly toward the exits. 1392 01:07:21.666 --> 01:07:23.708 The man-wolf has eaten his kryptonite! 1393 01:07:24.125 --> 01:07:25.125 Pubie! 1394 01:07:25.208 --> 01:07:27.291 [screaming] 1395 01:07:27.375 --> 01:07:28.291 [gasps] Huh? 1396 01:07:29.375 --> 01:07:31.208 Oh, my God. This is a travesty. 1397 01:07:31.291 --> 01:07:34.125 First, Mike Mundi. Now, Mr. Landolfa. 1398 01:07:34.833 --> 01:07:36.916 And why would God do this to such good people? 1399 01:07:37.000 --> 01:07:40.875 Good people? All those two ever did was abuse you, man. 1400 01:07:40.958 --> 01:07:44.458 You know who should feel bad right now? Our wonderful mayor. 1401 01:07:44.541 --> 01:07:45.791 I'm truly sorry. 1402 01:07:45.875 --> 01:07:48.625 You knew that high school kid from the corn maze was missing. 1403 01:07:48.708 --> 01:07:51.291 -But you told nobody. -Yeah. Bad for business, I guess. 1404 01:07:51.375 --> 01:07:55.166 Oh, they just found Lester Hennessy's car abandoned in the middle of Whipstick Road. 1405 01:07:55.250 --> 01:07:58.125 -No sign of Lester or Mary. -No! 1406 01:07:58.625 --> 01:08:00.000 So, we are cancelin' the fireworks 1407 01:08:00.083 --> 01:08:02.291 and all other related Halloween activities. 1408 01:08:02.375 --> 01:08:04.250 -Officer Steve. -Not now, Hubie. 1409 01:08:04.333 --> 01:08:07.291 -I think I know who did it. -Oh, so do I. 1410 01:08:07.375 --> 01:08:08.458 His name… 1411 01:08:10.041 --> 01:08:11.375 is Walter Lambert. 1412 01:08:11.958 --> 01:08:13.166 -Walter who? -Lambert. 1413 01:08:14.000 --> 01:08:17.083 Scientists would call him a lyco-thorpe. 1414 01:08:17.166 --> 01:08:18.750 I think he means a lycanthrope. 1415 01:08:18.833 --> 01:08:20.583 -Is that what it is? -It's a werewolf. 1416 01:08:20.666 --> 01:08:22.375 -Okay. -Hubie, I will lock you up. 1417 01:08:22.458 --> 01:08:25.041 -I got four people missing here. -Officer Steve, listen to me. 1418 01:08:25.125 --> 01:08:28.375 I saw the man destroy his home earlier today. 1419 01:08:28.458 --> 01:08:30.291 Then I saw him in the pumpkin patch. 1420 01:08:30.375 --> 01:08:33.791 His shirt was torn up. He was barking at the moon. 1421 01:08:33.875 --> 01:08:35.458 His arms were very, very hairy. 1422 01:08:35.541 --> 01:08:40.583 Then I saw him at this haunted house, his tail wagging in murderous glee. 1423 01:08:41.083 --> 01:08:44.708 -Wait, you talking about my dog, Buster. -That was Walter Lambert! 1424 01:08:45.291 --> 01:08:46.291 Where does he live? 1425 01:08:46.375 --> 01:08:48.333 Fifty-Nine Elm Street. Check on it. 1426 01:08:48.416 --> 01:08:50.208 -There's your killer. -[man on phone] Salem PD. 1427 01:08:50.291 --> 01:08:52.208 Blake, I need you to go out to 59 Elm. 1428 01:08:52.291 --> 01:08:55.083 There should be a guy there. New in town. Possibly shirtless. 1429 01:08:55.166 --> 01:08:58.333 Yeah. Middle-aged, growls a lot, glue-on hairy hands? 1430 01:08:58.416 --> 01:09:00.958 Yeah, I got him right here. Him and your boy, Richie Hartman. 1431 01:09:01.041 --> 01:09:04.000 They both came by and turned themselves in, like, 45 minutes ago. 1432 01:09:04.083 --> 01:09:05.083 Together? 1433 01:09:05.166 --> 01:09:08.916 Yeah. Apparently, Lambert is Hartman's roommate at the mental hospital. 1434 01:09:09.000 --> 01:09:12.250 Sorry. Werewolf Treatment Center. 1435 01:09:12.333 --> 01:09:15.583 Lambert broke out about a month ago, and then Hartman broke out yesterday 1436 01:09:15.666 --> 01:09:17.916 to try to find him and convince him to come back. 1437 01:09:18.000 --> 01:09:19.541 It's actually pretty sweet, isn't it? 1438 01:09:19.625 --> 01:09:21.833 So, you've had eyes on them for 45 minutes? 1439 01:09:21.916 --> 01:09:23.375 [Blake] Almost, like, an hour now. 1440 01:09:23.458 --> 01:09:26.916 And also, Lambert's real name is Nick Hudson. Yeah. Walter Lambert 1441 01:09:27.000 --> 01:09:29.625 is just some name that he got off a tombstone on his way into town. 1442 01:09:29.708 --> 01:09:31.791 All right, Blake. I got it. Thank you. 1443 01:09:31.875 --> 01:09:35.541 I feel bad you got yourself in even more trouble just to save me. 1444 01:09:35.625 --> 01:09:38.291 No, it was good to get out of that place for a while. 1445 01:09:38.375 --> 01:09:41.416 -You did me a favor. Thank you. -Did you do anything fun? 1446 01:09:42.083 --> 01:09:45.000 I pissed on a tombstone, pissed on the street. 1447 01:09:45.083 --> 01:09:47.458 Just some fun pissing stuff, you know. 1448 01:09:47.541 --> 01:09:50.375 -Nobody pees more than you. -I'm peein' now. 1449 01:09:50.458 --> 01:09:53.541 [both laughing] 1450 01:09:56.958 --> 01:10:01.083 -That's a good roommate. Yes. [chuckles] -[sniffing, panting] 1451 01:10:01.166 --> 01:10:02.833 -Who's a good roommate? Yes. Yes. -[barking] 1452 01:10:02.916 --> 01:10:04.291 [Hartman chuckling] Yes, you are. 1453 01:10:06.083 --> 01:10:10.375 Lambert and Hartman have been in custody during the whole Landolfa disappearance. 1454 01:10:10.458 --> 01:10:11.916 So, it couldn't have been them. 1455 01:10:12.000 --> 01:10:15.083 -[dog whimpers] -Buster, my baby! 1456 01:10:15.166 --> 01:10:18.333 Oh, by the way, he ate a silver bullet if you wanna check his feces tomorrow. 1457 01:10:18.416 --> 01:10:19.666 I ain't doin' that. 1458 01:10:20.458 --> 01:10:22.916 Then who? Are there any clues? 1459 01:10:23.000 --> 01:10:26.708 Landolfa did go back into the haunted house to look for Hubie. 1460 01:10:26.791 --> 01:10:31.375 Yeah. Hubie seems to be around a lot of people before they go missing. 1461 01:10:32.791 --> 01:10:35.833 -People who have messed with him. -Did the Hennesseys mess with Hubie, too? 1462 01:10:36.416 --> 01:10:37.541 Oh, they live for it. 1463 01:10:37.625 --> 01:10:41.208 So, it was payback time. Wasn't it, Hubie? 1464 01:10:41.291 --> 01:10:44.291 No, I would never hurt anybody. I-- 1465 01:10:44.375 --> 01:10:45.666 You got the wrong guy. 1466 01:10:47.000 --> 01:10:49.166 -Father Dave. -Have you been planning this all along? 1467 01:10:49.875 --> 01:10:52.250 -[snarling] -You sick man. 1468 01:10:52.333 --> 01:10:53.958 -Have you? -I-- 1469 01:10:54.583 --> 01:10:55.750 Have you? 1470 01:10:56.916 --> 01:10:57.750 Frankenstein! 1471 01:10:58.291 --> 01:10:59.500 [dog grunts] 1472 01:11:00.125 --> 01:11:01.041 [woman groans] 1473 01:11:01.125 --> 01:11:04.250 Did we just fall for the old Frankenstein trick? 1474 01:11:05.541 --> 01:11:08.208 [whimpering] 1475 01:11:08.958 --> 01:11:10.375 [screams, thuds] 1476 01:11:11.250 --> 01:11:12.791 [crying, whimpering] 1477 01:11:12.875 --> 01:11:14.083 [screams] Oh-ho! 1478 01:11:14.166 --> 01:11:15.041 [yells] Ya! 1479 01:11:17.166 --> 01:11:18.083 [shrieks] 1480 01:11:19.875 --> 01:11:22.666 [whimpering, screaming] 1481 01:11:24.791 --> 01:11:26.083 [hooting] 1482 01:11:26.166 --> 01:11:27.708 [grunting] 1483 01:11:28.708 --> 01:11:30.208 -[Aurora] Bad news, gang. -[thunderclap] 1484 01:11:30.291 --> 01:11:31.958 WTCH has just learned 1485 01:11:32.041 --> 01:11:34.625 that Salem's Halloween is getting shut down. 1486 01:11:34.708 --> 01:11:37.500 -[growling] -[Hubie screaming] 1487 01:11:37.583 --> 01:11:41.458 [Aurora] The police department is advising everyone to stay home and lock doors. 1488 01:11:42.750 --> 01:11:45.666 But, my little Halloweenies, we can all still celebrate 1489 01:11:45.750 --> 01:11:48.583 with nature's fireworks lighting up the night sky. 1490 01:11:48.666 --> 01:11:50.875 [thunderclap] 1491 01:11:50.958 --> 01:11:53.458 Not sure what's happening in this creepy town, 1492 01:11:53.541 --> 01:11:56.708 but sounds like a good idea to cuddle up with someone special 1493 01:11:56.791 --> 01:12:00.541 and enjoy the last half hour of Halloween under the covers. 1494 01:12:00.625 --> 01:12:03.916 And just hope that whoever you cuddling isn't a madman. 1495 01:12:04.625 --> 01:12:11.583 [Aurora laughing maniacally] 1496 01:12:20.416 --> 01:12:21.625 [mouthing] 1497 01:12:22.666 --> 01:12:24.500 [thunder rumbling] 1498 01:12:28.125 --> 01:12:30.583 Well, looks like I have company. 1499 01:12:31.125 --> 01:12:33.833 So, we're going to take a word from our scary sponsors. 1500 01:12:34.458 --> 01:12:36.833 -[whistles like theremin] -[man] W… T… C… H. 1501 01:12:36.916 --> 01:12:38.958 -Aurora? -[gasps] 1502 01:12:39.625 --> 01:12:41.500 -[deep voice] Hubie Dubois. -Yes. 1503 01:12:41.583 --> 01:12:45.125 I'd recognize that voice anywhere. You look exactly how I pictured you. 1504 01:12:45.208 --> 01:12:50.083 To be honest with you, you don't look like the way I was picturing you. 1505 01:12:50.666 --> 01:12:53.541 [high-pitched voice] I guess my radio voice throws people off sometimes. 1506 01:12:53.625 --> 01:12:55.166 Yeah, that-- I think that's it. 1507 01:12:55.250 --> 01:12:56.875 [giggling in high-pitched voice] 1508 01:12:56.958 --> 01:12:58.125 [deep voice] Have a seat, man. 1509 01:12:59.458 --> 01:13:01.083 ["Werewolves of London" playing] 1510 01:13:01.166 --> 01:13:02.958 What brings you all the way here this evenin'? 1511 01:13:03.041 --> 01:13:06.916 As you know, I'm a longtime listener, and I always respect the advice you give 1512 01:13:07.000 --> 01:13:08.083 to so many callers. 1513 01:13:08.166 --> 01:13:12.541 Right now, I'm in dire need of the most perspicacious advice 1514 01:13:12.625 --> 01:13:14.750 -you have ever given to any other human-- -[knocking] 1515 01:13:15.375 --> 01:13:19.291 [Aurora gasps] Oh, my God. Isn't that so sweet? My wife brought snacks. 1516 01:13:19.375 --> 01:13:22.625 [deep voice] Ooh! Hey, baby. How you doin'? 1517 01:13:22.708 --> 01:13:25.041 Oh, and who is this? 1518 01:13:25.125 --> 01:13:26.708 Baby, this is Hubie Dubois. 1519 01:13:26.791 --> 01:13:28.833 Whoa! For real? 1520 01:13:28.916 --> 01:13:30.875 Yes. Nice to meet you, ma'am. 1521 01:13:30.958 --> 01:13:33.375 I'm looking forward to hearing your real voice. 1522 01:13:34.125 --> 01:13:35.708 This is my real voice. 1523 01:13:36.625 --> 01:13:39.250 Right. I know it is. I was just saying, you know… 1524 01:13:39.958 --> 01:13:42.291 So, I am a big fan of your husband, Aurora. 1525 01:13:42.375 --> 01:13:43.500 Oh, yeah. 1526 01:13:43.583 --> 01:13:47.458 I feel like you're the second most frequent caller we get. 1527 01:13:47.541 --> 01:13:50.416 -Besides that one lady. -Someone calls more than I do? 1528 01:13:50.500 --> 01:13:54.083 [laughs] Actually, I think she might have a little something for you, Hubie. 1529 01:13:54.166 --> 01:13:57.625 She always dedicates a song to a special someone. 1530 01:13:57.708 --> 01:13:58.750 Ooh! 1531 01:13:58.833 --> 01:14:01.541 And we all need that special someone. 1532 01:14:01.625 --> 01:14:03.291 -Right, baby? -Yes, we do. Oh! 1533 01:14:03.375 --> 01:14:04.208 Dig in. 1534 01:14:04.291 --> 01:14:10.958 [both moaning] 1535 01:14:11.833 --> 01:14:13.708 -A couple days back… -Oh, man. 1536 01:14:13.791 --> 01:14:17.166 …she had a couple glasses of Chardonnay. Her guard was down, 1537 01:14:17.750 --> 01:14:20.666 and she asked to dedicate a special song to Hubie. 1538 01:14:20.750 --> 01:14:23.750 -Chardonnay, eh? -You know what they say about Chardonnay? 1539 01:14:24.583 --> 01:14:29.583 Truth serum. She said she's gonna show you how much she loves you on Halloween. 1540 01:14:30.333 --> 01:14:34.125 -Do you think we could trace the number? -I don't need to. Caller ID. 1541 01:14:34.208 --> 01:14:38.166 617-555-0968. 1542 01:14:38.250 --> 01:14:39.125 Sound familiar? 1543 01:14:39.208 --> 01:14:42.791 No. But there is a number that needs to be dialed immediately. 1544 01:14:43.458 --> 01:14:44.291 911! 1545 01:14:46.916 --> 01:14:47.750 [hooting] 1546 01:14:51.875 --> 01:14:52.958 [computer beeping] 1547 01:14:53.666 --> 01:14:54.541 Oh. 1548 01:14:54.625 --> 01:14:56.250 It's a prepaid phone. 1549 01:14:56.333 --> 01:14:58.750 -[high-pitched voice] Bitch used a burner. -Mm-hmm. 1550 01:14:59.875 --> 01:15:00.916 [moaning softly] 1551 01:15:01.916 --> 01:15:05.083 Any idea of someone who might have a thing for you, or… 1552 01:15:05.166 --> 01:15:07.458 How would somebody detect such a situation? 1553 01:15:07.541 --> 01:15:11.958 Anyone in town who seems like they might actually enjoy talking to you. 1554 01:15:12.041 --> 01:15:15.000 There's one woman, but she's the nicest lady I ever met my life. 1555 01:15:15.083 --> 01:15:17.166 Well, they all seem nice till they kill you. 1556 01:15:17.250 --> 01:15:18.958 What's the desperate sicko's name? 1557 01:15:20.833 --> 01:15:21.750 Um… 1558 01:15:23.750 --> 01:15:25.958 [whispers] The high school hat trick, Violet Valentine. 1559 01:15:26.041 --> 01:15:28.166 [laughing] 1560 01:15:29.375 --> 01:15:31.333 Her? And you? 1561 01:15:31.416 --> 01:15:32.333 I mean… 1562 01:15:33.958 --> 01:15:36.375 All right. Let's go see if we can get ourselves a confession. 1563 01:15:36.458 --> 01:15:40.583 Ooh! This is some Dateline NBC shit. 1564 01:15:46.250 --> 01:15:49.208 [Hubie] Stormhawk in position and petrified. Over. 1565 01:15:49.291 --> 01:15:51.583 All right. First of all, we're not gonna use code names. 1566 01:15:51.666 --> 01:15:52.666 -Okay? -[Hubie] Copy. 1567 01:15:52.750 --> 01:15:56.333 Did you send backup to my residence to have eyes on my mother? Over. 1568 01:15:56.416 --> 01:15:58.125 I'm a little short-handed tonight, 1569 01:15:58.208 --> 01:15:59.916 so I asked Father Dave to keep an eye on her. 1570 01:16:00.000 --> 01:16:03.083 Negative! Request armed units to that vicinity. Over. 1571 01:16:03.166 --> 01:16:05.333 Sorry. I can't spare the manpower tonight. 1572 01:16:05.416 --> 01:16:06.250 Here she comes. 1573 01:16:06.708 --> 01:16:10.708 Okay, Hubie. It's showtime. Remember, we're lookin' for a confession. 1574 01:16:10.791 --> 01:16:12.500 But what if I can't get her to confess? Over. 1575 01:16:12.583 --> 01:16:15.625 If you feel like you've done all you can, or you feel like you're in danger, 1576 01:16:15.708 --> 01:16:18.875 say the code word. At that point, we'll call the burner phone. 1577 01:16:18.958 --> 01:16:20.750 If she picks up, we can implicate her that way. 1578 01:16:20.833 --> 01:16:22.416 And what's the code word again? Over. 1579 01:16:23.083 --> 01:16:25.125 -You don't have to say over. -[Hubie] Okay. 1580 01:16:25.208 --> 01:16:26.500 Code word is pumpkin. 1581 01:16:27.083 --> 01:16:29.083 Roger that. Bogey on my twelve. 1582 01:16:29.166 --> 01:16:31.333 Three on a match. Smoke 'em if you got 'em. 1583 01:16:31.416 --> 01:16:33.791 "Smoke 'em if you got--" What the hell is he talking about? 1584 01:16:33.875 --> 01:16:35.083 I don't know. 1585 01:16:41.666 --> 01:16:43.666 What'd you ask me out here for, Hubie? 1586 01:16:43.750 --> 01:16:44.583 What's up? 1587 01:16:46.791 --> 01:16:47.625 Pumpkin. 1588 01:16:47.708 --> 01:16:48.583 [groans] 1589 01:16:48.666 --> 01:16:50.125 -Straight to pumpkin? -Yeah. 1590 01:16:50.208 --> 01:16:52.166 Pumpkin what? 1591 01:16:52.250 --> 01:16:53.083 Just pumpkin. 1592 01:16:53.833 --> 01:16:54.666 Don't kill me. 1593 01:16:54.750 --> 01:16:56.583 -You gotta be kiddin' me. -Dialing. 1594 01:16:57.250 --> 01:16:58.208 Hubie. 1595 01:16:59.166 --> 01:17:00.916 I would never hurt you. 1596 01:17:01.000 --> 01:17:02.541 Thank you. Pumpkin. 1597 01:17:03.416 --> 01:17:04.541 Now! Pumpkin. 1598 01:17:04.625 --> 01:17:05.458 [call ringing] 1599 01:17:05.541 --> 01:17:06.916 -It's ringing. -Is this a prank? 1600 01:17:07.000 --> 01:17:09.000 Is there somebody watching us right now? 1601 01:17:09.083 --> 01:17:12.250 -No one can see us or hear us. -She must not have the phone on her. 1602 01:17:12.708 --> 01:17:15.333 [heavy breathing] 1603 01:17:15.416 --> 01:17:16.250 Hello? 1604 01:17:17.666 --> 01:17:22.083 I just wanted to tell you that I have been in love with you since second grade. 1605 01:17:22.708 --> 01:17:24.166 -What? -Hello? 1606 01:17:24.250 --> 01:17:25.833 [whispers] Can you trace it now? 1607 01:17:25.916 --> 01:17:27.666 [heavy breathing continues] 1608 01:17:27.750 --> 01:17:32.291 Hubie, I've been in love with you since the first grade. 1609 01:17:34.083 --> 01:17:35.750 What took you so long? 1610 01:17:36.875 --> 01:17:38.541 I was in love with our teacher. 1611 01:17:39.166 --> 01:17:40.000 Miss Glennon? 1612 01:17:41.083 --> 01:17:44.541 -Wasn't she, like, 70? -I liked the way she smelled. 1613 01:17:46.458 --> 01:17:47.541 I can't believe this. 1614 01:17:48.083 --> 01:17:53.375 I can't believe that I spent three years with a self-confident-for-no-reason, 1615 01:17:53.458 --> 01:17:56.958 bearded, human-ogre when I could have been with you. 1616 01:17:57.041 --> 01:17:58.791 Ouch. That even hurt me. 1617 01:18:00.791 --> 01:18:03.625 I'm getting a location. Steve, look at this. 1618 01:18:04.583 --> 01:18:07.125 -[Steve] Stormhawk, abort! -I thought you were out of my league. 1619 01:18:07.208 --> 01:18:08.833 -Why? -Stormhawk, repeat, abort! 1620 01:18:08.916 --> 01:18:10.583 It's the best news I ever heard in my life. 1621 01:18:10.666 --> 01:18:13.291 Abort. The killer's cell phone is in your house! 1622 01:18:13.375 --> 01:18:14.958 Mama! 1623 01:18:15.041 --> 01:18:17.583 No! No way! 1624 01:18:17.666 --> 01:18:20.708 Lock your doors! Make sure you don't open them! 1625 01:18:20.791 --> 01:18:23.541 Take care of your children! I'm gonna steal a boat! 1626 01:18:23.625 --> 01:18:25.458 Mama! 1627 01:18:27.541 --> 01:18:28.458 I love you! 1628 01:18:35.708 --> 01:18:38.333 [clock chiming] 1629 01:18:42.333 --> 01:18:44.875 Oh, no. They got Father Dave. 1630 01:18:48.250 --> 01:18:49.208 Oh, my God. 1631 01:18:49.291 --> 01:18:50.916 -Boo! -[screaming] 1632 01:18:51.000 --> 01:18:53.500 [laughing] 1633 01:18:54.083 --> 01:18:55.791 Why aren't you watching my mother? 1634 01:18:55.875 --> 01:18:59.041 The killer's in the house! The killer's in the house! 1635 01:18:59.125 --> 01:19:00.958 There's no one in the house but her. 1636 01:19:02.208 --> 01:19:03.041 Hubie? 1637 01:19:03.875 --> 01:19:04.958 Can you help me down? 1638 01:19:06.458 --> 01:19:07.666 Ma! Ma! 1639 01:19:11.083 --> 01:19:12.041 You're okay. 1640 01:19:13.708 --> 01:19:16.166 Why, yes, Hubie. Why wouldn't I be? 1641 01:19:16.916 --> 01:19:17.791 Mmm. 1642 01:19:25.500 --> 01:19:26.333 Oh, no. 1643 01:19:33.791 --> 01:19:35.000 So, um… 1644 01:19:36.500 --> 01:19:39.458 Am I your special someone, Mom? 1645 01:19:40.333 --> 01:19:41.458 Always, Hubie. 1646 01:19:42.041 --> 01:19:42.916 Mm-hmm. 1647 01:19:43.500 --> 01:19:46.000 And… today, did you-- 1648 01:19:47.500 --> 01:19:50.041 did you try to show me just how much you love me? 1649 01:19:51.208 --> 01:19:54.500 Why, yes, I did, Hubie. I truly did. 1650 01:20:13.125 --> 01:20:14.541 -[man 1] Hubie! -[woman 1] Hubie! 1651 01:20:14.625 --> 01:20:16.416 [man 1] Get us out of here! Help! 1652 01:20:16.500 --> 01:20:18.833 [Landolfa] Hubie, please, get us out of here! 1653 01:20:18.916 --> 01:20:20.791 [all shouting hysterically] 1654 01:20:20.875 --> 01:20:22.625 Hubie, there's something wrong with your mom! 1655 01:20:22.708 --> 01:20:24.833 Come on over here and let me punch your mom in the face! 1656 01:20:24.916 --> 01:20:27.458 I mean, the good news is you're still alive. I was-- 1657 01:20:27.541 --> 01:20:29.833 Nice observation, toolbox! Now get us out of this! 1658 01:20:29.916 --> 01:20:34.375 -I'm so sorry. -I tried to explain to you already, Hubie. 1659 01:20:34.458 --> 01:20:37.958 If you don't fight back, the bullies never stop. 1660 01:20:38.041 --> 01:20:40.500 So, I had to fight back for you. 1661 01:20:40.583 --> 01:20:42.083 [Mike] Please, Hubie! Oh, my God! 1662 01:20:42.166 --> 01:20:43.250 Hubie, that's gas! 1663 01:20:43.333 --> 01:20:46.708 Mommy, I would've been satisfied if you put itching powder in their sleeping bag. 1664 01:20:46.791 --> 01:20:48.000 This is extreme. 1665 01:20:48.791 --> 01:20:51.500 Don't do this to me. Hubie, I'll be your friend forever! 1666 01:20:51.583 --> 01:20:53.041 [tires screech] 1667 01:20:53.125 --> 01:20:54.333 [all chattering, shouting] 1668 01:20:54.416 --> 01:20:56.333 [man] The old lady said they'd be in the backyard. 1669 01:20:56.416 --> 01:20:57.500 [Tracy] Roll it! Roll it! 1670 01:20:57.583 --> 01:20:59.333 You don't have to do this. This is too much. 1671 01:20:59.416 --> 01:21:04.083 We are here and we are live at an unfolding scene of Halloween horror. 1672 01:21:04.166 --> 01:21:06.750 -[victims shouting, chattering] -[Hubie] Ma. Ma. 1673 01:21:06.833 --> 01:21:09.958 -Mom, I really don't want you to do this. -I know, Hubie. 1674 01:21:10.041 --> 01:21:13.708 That's what makes you so wonderful. And that's why I have to do it. 1675 01:21:13.791 --> 01:21:16.250 I have to make it good for you before I go. 1676 01:21:16.333 --> 01:21:17.166 Before you go? 1677 01:21:18.291 --> 01:21:21.166 -To Heaven? -No. Probably going to Hell, Hubie. 1678 01:21:21.250 --> 01:21:22.541 [sirens wailing] 1679 01:21:22.625 --> 01:21:25.750 The cops are here! You're goin' to jail, you crazy old bat! 1680 01:21:25.833 --> 01:21:29.666 -Well, then I better do this now. -[Mr. Hennessy] My God. No, lady. Wait. 1681 01:21:29.750 --> 01:21:32.083 -[all screaming, shouting] -No! No, no, no, no! 1682 01:21:32.166 --> 01:21:33.958 -Please don't. -[Landolfa] Hubie, stop her. 1683 01:21:34.041 --> 01:21:37.625 [voices muted] 1684 01:21:39.500 --> 01:21:40.750 [distorted, echoing] Help me! 1685 01:21:44.125 --> 01:21:46.000 -Hubie! -[Hubie screams] 1686 01:21:46.083 --> 01:21:48.000 [Landolfa laughing] 1687 01:21:49.833 --> 01:21:50.666 No! 1688 01:21:51.541 --> 01:21:53.916 [screaming] 1689 01:21:54.666 --> 01:21:55.708 [echoing] No. 1690 01:21:57.166 --> 01:21:59.583 [screaming] No! 1691 01:22:00.625 --> 01:22:07.500 [all laughing maniacally] 1692 01:22:12.166 --> 01:22:16.250 Always thinking of everyone else, never thinking of yourself. 1693 01:22:16.333 --> 01:22:18.541 But I guess that's why you're a hero. 1694 01:22:21.000 --> 01:22:21.875 [Landolfa] Hubie! 1695 01:22:22.458 --> 01:22:25.041 No! 1696 01:22:44.041 --> 01:22:44.875 [squeals] 1697 01:22:44.958 --> 01:22:46.458 -Man. -Freeze, Mrs. Dubois! 1698 01:22:48.208 --> 01:22:49.833 Hold your fire until my command. 1699 01:22:50.333 --> 01:22:51.500 Why did we bring them again? 1700 01:22:51.583 --> 01:22:53.958 There was nobody left at the station. We had to. 1701 01:22:54.041 --> 01:22:56.625 I'm sorry. I'm sorry, Mommy. This is my fault. 1702 01:22:56.708 --> 01:22:58.416 -[Mom] That's okay, Hubie. -[Landolfa] Hubie! 1703 01:22:58.500 --> 01:23:00.541 -Untie us, dummy! -Come on, you stupid dummy! 1704 01:23:00.625 --> 01:23:02.833 -Untie us, now! -[Mike] Are you paying attention? 1705 01:23:02.916 --> 01:23:04.625 [Mom] Okay. Wow. 1706 01:23:05.250 --> 01:23:06.750 Shame on you. 1707 01:23:06.833 --> 01:23:10.125 Hubie just saved your lives, and you treat him like this. 1708 01:23:10.916 --> 01:23:12.958 Can one of you tell me why? 1709 01:23:13.041 --> 01:23:14.708 [Landolfa] Just look at him! 1710 01:23:14.791 --> 01:23:16.625 He's so… Hubie! 1711 01:23:16.708 --> 01:23:18.500 [all snickering] 1712 01:23:18.583 --> 01:23:20.041 Yes, he's Hubie. 1713 01:23:20.125 --> 01:23:21.666 He's helpful. 1714 01:23:22.375 --> 01:23:25.875 He's courteous, he's cheerful, he's considerate. 1715 01:23:25.958 --> 01:23:27.833 What a bad, bad man. 1716 01:23:27.916 --> 01:23:31.958 My great-great-great-great-great- grandmother laid down her life, 1717 01:23:32.041 --> 01:23:34.125 trying to save innocent people. 1718 01:23:34.208 --> 01:23:35.416 I was there. 1719 01:23:35.500 --> 01:23:41.000 And my son did her one better. He just saved four ungrateful jackasses. 1720 01:23:41.750 --> 01:23:42.583 Thanks, Pubie. 1721 01:23:42.666 --> 01:23:45.541 Well, you can't even thank him without insulting him. 1722 01:23:45.625 --> 01:23:48.583 I'm sorry. I don't know why I said Pubie. It just came out. 1723 01:23:48.666 --> 01:23:51.375 Could it be because you feel threatened? 1724 01:23:52.583 --> 01:23:53.833 [stammers] 1725 01:23:54.541 --> 01:23:56.958 I feel a lot of pressure to be cool all the time. 1726 01:23:57.916 --> 01:24:00.166 I'm jealous of Hubie being able to be himself. 1727 01:24:00.708 --> 01:24:03.250 I lost my hair 20 years ago, 1728 01:24:03.333 --> 01:24:05.750 and every time I walk into a room, I feel silly. 1729 01:24:06.333 --> 01:24:11.083 Why should someone like Hubie have such a thick, luxuriant head of hair, 1730 01:24:11.166 --> 01:24:13.875 and I look like a California raisin? 1731 01:24:15.166 --> 01:24:17.208 I have never felt sexually fulfilled. 1732 01:24:17.291 --> 01:24:18.666 -But-- -Oh, shut up, Lester. 1733 01:24:18.750 --> 01:24:21.083 You're usually there. You know it's true. 1734 01:24:21.166 --> 01:24:22.791 I'm guessing… 1735 01:24:22.875 --> 01:24:25.250 Hubie hasn't had a lot of sex. 1736 01:24:25.916 --> 01:24:26.750 No, ma'am. 1737 01:24:27.666 --> 01:24:28.916 Hasn't had any sex. 1738 01:24:29.000 --> 01:24:29.833 Mmm. 1739 01:24:30.916 --> 01:24:32.625 But what he does have is hope. 1740 01:24:35.000 --> 01:24:36.666 Damn him and his hope! 1741 01:24:39.583 --> 01:24:42.708 I was diagnosed with dyslexia in the eighth grade. 1742 01:24:43.458 --> 01:24:47.875 I faked it for the doctors, but I'm really just dumb. 1743 01:24:48.583 --> 01:24:50.708 I never really told anybody. 1744 01:24:51.708 --> 01:24:53.916 You're probably all surprised. 1745 01:24:54.000 --> 01:24:55.666 -No, I'm not surprised. -Nope. 1746 01:24:55.750 --> 01:24:56.833 -You surprised? -[laughs] No. 1747 01:24:57.583 --> 01:25:02.291 But Hubie uses big words, and they come out so natural for him. 1748 01:25:02.375 --> 01:25:03.750 It pisses me off. 1749 01:25:04.250 --> 01:25:05.708 Oh, 'cause of the dumb thing. 1750 01:25:06.583 --> 01:25:09.083 My brother-in-law once said that I had no ambition. 1751 01:25:10.416 --> 01:25:12.583 And then he bit me, and I became a werewolf. 1752 01:25:13.750 --> 01:25:14.666 [howls softly] 1753 01:25:16.083 --> 01:25:16.916 You see? 1754 01:25:17.708 --> 01:25:21.500 Hubie's smart, has nice hair, and sex hope. 1755 01:25:22.166 --> 01:25:23.000 But to me, 1756 01:25:23.666 --> 01:25:25.708 his best quality is this. 1757 01:25:25.791 --> 01:25:30.333 He can weather all of your insults and your thrown objects, 1758 01:25:30.416 --> 01:25:34.333 and he responds with humor and-- and kindness. 1759 01:25:34.958 --> 01:25:36.291 Could you say the same? 1760 01:25:36.375 --> 01:25:40.875 Could any of you take the abuse you dish out to my Hubie? 1761 01:25:42.791 --> 01:25:46.166 I busted a guy for DWI last week, and, uh… 1762 01:25:46.958 --> 01:25:50.458 he said it was an honor to be arrested by a Muppet. 1763 01:25:51.916 --> 01:25:53.500 I acted like I didn't hear him. 1764 01:25:54.416 --> 01:25:57.000 But then I cried in my squad car for about half an hour. 1765 01:25:57.375 --> 01:26:01.375 You see, Hubie. True bravery's being kind. 1766 01:26:01.833 --> 01:26:04.458 Even to those who are being cruel to you. 1767 01:26:05.166 --> 01:26:07.250 I just always wanted to be as nice as you, Mom. 1768 01:26:07.333 --> 01:26:08.625 Oh, you were nicer. 1769 01:26:09.333 --> 01:26:13.958 But now I know that you're ready to spread your wings and fly without me. 1770 01:26:14.041 --> 01:26:16.416 You don't have to be scared anymore. 1771 01:26:17.000 --> 01:26:18.458 I'm feeling emotional. 1772 01:26:18.541 --> 01:26:20.583 -And a little horny. -Ooh! 1773 01:26:20.666 --> 01:26:22.000 -Not for you. -Oh. 1774 01:26:22.083 --> 01:26:25.166 Just know that I'll always love you. 1775 01:26:25.250 --> 01:26:26.791 And happy Halloween. 1776 01:26:27.541 --> 01:26:28.833 Frankenstein! 1777 01:26:28.916 --> 01:26:30.000 [all] Where? 1778 01:26:33.125 --> 01:26:35.958 [Mom cackling maniacally] 1779 01:26:37.875 --> 01:26:39.458 We fell for that twice in one night. 1780 01:26:39.541 --> 01:26:41.583 We gotta try that with the orderlies when we get back. 1781 01:26:41.666 --> 01:26:43.208 -Okay. -It's such a… [laughing] 1782 01:26:43.833 --> 01:26:44.666 Hubie! 1783 01:26:45.333 --> 01:26:47.500 The blood. It's going to my-- 1784 01:26:50.250 --> 01:26:52.125 -[police radios chattering] -[cutting] 1785 01:26:53.333 --> 01:26:54.833 Happy Halloween. 1786 01:26:55.833 --> 01:26:57.541 One thing I still don't get. 1787 01:26:57.625 --> 01:26:59.833 Why did his mom have to kill Peanut the pig? 1788 01:27:00.875 --> 01:27:04.000 That was me, actually. I had a case of the late-night munchies. 1789 01:27:04.458 --> 01:27:06.958 All right, we gotta get these guys back to the mental institution. 1790 01:27:07.041 --> 01:27:10.000 This has been a magical night in Salem, Massachusetts. 1791 01:27:10.083 --> 01:27:13.000 -Excuse me. May I say something? -[Tracy] Yes. Please, go ahead. 1792 01:27:13.083 --> 01:27:13.916 Hubie. 1793 01:27:14.000 --> 01:27:18.541 I just wanna say happy Halloween to everybody in Salem. 1794 01:27:19.458 --> 01:27:21.833 Also, happy Valentine's Day. 1795 01:27:22.875 --> 01:27:24.750 I'm talking to you, Violet Valentine. 1796 01:27:25.041 --> 01:27:25.958 [gasps] 1797 01:27:26.041 --> 01:27:26.875 Also… 1798 01:27:27.625 --> 01:27:30.083 I just broke up with my Canadian girlfriend. 1799 01:27:30.166 --> 01:27:31.458 So, I am available. 1800 01:27:31.541 --> 01:27:34.041 -Oh, my God. -Miss Valentine, this is for you. 1801 01:27:40.291 --> 01:27:42.041 Hubie, do be mine. 1802 01:27:42.833 --> 01:27:45.250 Mmm… 1803 01:27:45.333 --> 01:27:48.833 [both moaning] 1804 01:27:49.416 --> 01:27:50.541 [Hubie] Yummy. 1805 01:27:50.625 --> 01:27:52.333 Muah! Muah! 1806 01:27:52.416 --> 01:27:54.166 [both moaning] 1807 01:27:58.208 --> 01:28:00.458 Can you guys stop kissing and check out our costumes? 1808 01:28:00.541 --> 01:28:01.833 Yes, of course. Come on. 1809 01:28:01.916 --> 01:28:05.833 -Show us what you've got. -Please. Let's see it. Oh, my God. 1810 01:28:05.916 --> 01:28:09.000 Oh, well, look at this. I cannot believe we have this. 1811 01:28:09.541 --> 01:28:12.791 Father Dave. My childhood friend, Richie Hartman. 1812 01:28:12.875 --> 01:28:14.375 -Is that Officer Steve? -[Violet] Yeah. 1813 01:28:14.458 --> 01:28:16.916 And the one and only Mr. Walter Lambert. 1814 01:28:17.000 --> 01:28:19.333 [kids howling] 1815 01:28:19.416 --> 01:28:20.541 [Hubie] How did you do this? 1816 01:28:20.625 --> 01:28:21.916 [Steve] Oh! 1817 01:28:22.000 --> 01:28:25.083 Terrific costumes, guys. Especially yours, Cooky. 1818 01:28:25.166 --> 01:28:27.458 I like it. What are you? A Muppet, right? 1819 01:28:27.541 --> 01:28:28.791 Yeah, sure. 1820 01:28:29.375 --> 01:28:33.625 -Our kids are so creative. -They are amazing. Mmm! 1821 01:28:33.708 --> 01:28:35.458 You never kissed me like that, Violet. 1822 01:28:36.125 --> 01:28:36.958 I know. 1823 01:28:37.041 --> 01:28:39.708 -Yeah, well… -Dad, don't forget your sash. 1824 01:28:39.791 --> 01:28:41.958 Okay, yes. Would you put it on me, please? That's right. 1825 01:28:42.041 --> 01:28:44.166 Thank you, Danielle and everybody. 1826 01:28:44.250 --> 01:28:47.250 I'll see you at the apple-bobbing contest at ten o'clock tonight. 1827 01:28:47.333 --> 01:28:50.416 Oh, and you two. You guys are gonna be hittin' the parties later, 1828 01:28:50.500 --> 01:28:52.416 -so I made these for you. -[clicks] 1829 01:28:52.500 --> 01:28:55.375 That's some matzo ball soup, also with a flare gun. 1830 01:28:56.166 --> 01:28:57.000 Uh… 1831 01:28:59.708 --> 01:29:01.541 -[glass shattering] -[cat howls] 1832 01:29:03.458 --> 01:29:05.125 You suck! 1833 01:29:05.875 --> 01:29:07.166 Sorry about that! 1834 01:29:08.625 --> 01:29:10.125 -Thanks, Dad. -Yeah, of course. 1835 01:29:10.208 --> 01:29:12.916 And this is chicken gumbo with a hair dryer. 1836 01:29:13.833 --> 01:29:16.666 [air blowing] 1837 01:29:16.750 --> 01:29:19.208 [sighs] Wow, that is badass. 1838 01:29:20.000 --> 01:29:21.750 All right, guys. Take care. I'll miss you. 1839 01:29:21.833 --> 01:29:24.833 -Mr. Mayor Dubois, let's get you downtown. -[car starts] 1840 01:29:24.916 --> 01:29:26.541 -Bye! -Love you, Daddy! 1841 01:29:26.625 --> 01:29:29.125 Bye! We love you. We'll see you later! 1842 01:29:29.208 --> 01:29:31.250 [Hubie] Bye, guys! Bye-bye! 1843 01:29:37.583 --> 01:29:38.500 Hey, Hubie! 1844 01:29:39.291 --> 01:29:40.208 You're the man! 1845 01:29:40.291 --> 01:29:43.500 Thanks. I learned it all from my mother, who's right behind you. 1846 01:29:43.583 --> 01:29:45.666 -[all gasp] -Got you, O'Doyle! 1847 01:29:45.750 --> 01:29:47.583 -[kids laugh] -Happy Halloween! 1848 01:29:48.291 --> 01:29:51.791 Happy Halloween to all! And to all, a good fright! 1849 01:29:52.291 --> 01:29:55.166 [Aurora in high-pitched voice] And so, another Halloween has come to Salem. 1850 01:29:55.250 --> 01:29:57.541 So, you best take the advice of our beloved Mayor 1851 01:29:57.625 --> 01:30:02.083 and frequent caller, Hubie Dubois. And have a safe and fun time. 1852 01:30:02.166 --> 01:30:03.833 [Aurora's wife in deep voice] Hang on, baby. 1853 01:30:03.916 --> 01:30:05.833 Got some spaghetti and meatballs for ya. 1854 01:30:05.916 --> 01:30:08.375 [Aurora in deep voice] Okay. Let's Lady and the Tramp that shit. 1855 01:30:08.458 --> 01:30:12.041 [slurping, moaning] 1856 01:30:12.125 --> 01:30:14.041 ♪ I was working in the lab Late one night… ♪ 1857 01:30:14.125 --> 01:30:16.250 -[skeleton cackling] -[screaming] 1858 01:30:16.333 --> 01:30:18.250 ♪ When my eyes beheld an eerie sight… ♪ 1859 01:30:18.958 --> 01:30:20.125 Murder! 1860 01:30:20.500 --> 01:30:22.458 ♪ Began to rise ♪ 1861 01:30:22.541 --> 01:30:24.916 -♪ And suddenly to my surprise… ♪ -[laughing] 1862 01:30:25.000 --> 01:30:26.916 [screaming] 1863 01:30:27.000 --> 01:30:28.541 ♪ He did the monster mash ♪ 1864 01:30:28.625 --> 01:30:29.708 ♪ The monster mash ♪ 1865 01:30:30.375 --> 01:30:32.125 ♪ It was a graveyard smash… ♪ 1866 01:30:32.208 --> 01:30:34.583 [screaming] What are we screaming at? 1867 01:30:35.666 --> 01:30:37.375 -♪ He did the mash… ♪ -[laughing] 1868 01:30:37.458 --> 01:30:38.708 Last one. Sorry. 1869 01:30:39.083 --> 01:30:41.875 -♪ From my laboratory… ♪ -[screaming] 1870 01:30:41.958 --> 01:30:42.791 What are you? 1871 01:30:42.875 --> 01:30:45.791 ♪ To the master bedroom Where the vampires feast… ♪ 1872 01:30:45.875 --> 01:30:49.541 [screaming] 1873 01:30:49.625 --> 01:30:52.416 ♪ To get a jolt From my electrodes… ♪ 1874 01:30:52.500 --> 01:30:54.583 [screaming] Who are you? 1875 01:30:54.666 --> 01:30:57.041 -♪ They did the monster mash ♪ -♪ The monster mash… ♪ 1876 01:30:58.208 --> 01:31:01.791 -What are you? [screaming] -[clattering] 1877 01:31:01.875 --> 01:31:03.625 [shrieking] 1878 01:31:03.708 --> 01:31:04.625 [screaming] 1879 01:31:04.708 --> 01:31:06.458 ♪ They did the monster mash… ♪ 1880 01:31:08.250 --> 01:31:10.000 -Boo! -[screams] 1881 01:31:10.083 --> 01:31:13.166 [laughing maniacally] 1882 01:31:13.250 --> 01:31:15.375 ♪ The guests included… ♪ 1883 01:31:15.458 --> 01:31:18.166 [shrieking] Help me! 1884 01:31:19.458 --> 01:31:22.291 When I was a kid, I used to build a tower with all my candy. 1885 01:31:22.375 --> 01:31:25.458 And all the candy I used before the collapsing of-- 1886 01:31:25.541 --> 01:31:26.875 [laughing] 1887 01:31:26.958 --> 01:31:28.000 [kids screaming] 1888 01:31:28.083 --> 01:31:30.125 [muttering] 1889 01:31:30.208 --> 01:31:31.291 Help me! 1890 01:31:33.083 --> 01:31:34.958 Now you're all in big, big trouble. 1891 01:31:35.500 --> 01:31:37.000 [grunts] Oh, sorry! 1892 01:31:37.083 --> 01:31:38.166 [all laughing] 1893 01:31:38.250 --> 01:31:40.166 That's you in a nutshell, Hubie. 1894 01:31:40.250 --> 01:31:41.250 ♪ They did the mash ♪ 1895 01:31:41.750 --> 01:31:43.208 ♪ They played the monster mash… ♪ 1896 01:31:43.291 --> 01:31:44.958 [all laughing] 1897 01:31:45.500 --> 01:31:47.791 ♪ It was a graveyard smash… ♪ 1898 01:31:47.875 --> 01:31:50.500 Here's some Happy Halloween word searches I printed out. 1899 01:31:50.583 --> 01:31:51.750 ♪ They played the mash ♪ 1900 01:31:52.083 --> 01:31:53.375 ♪ They played the monster mash… ♪ 1901 01:31:53.458 --> 01:31:55.875 [both laughing] 1902 01:31:59.208 --> 01:32:01.458 That-- that was-- that was-- Ah-- [bleep] 1903 01:32:01.541 --> 01:32:02.416 Ah-- [bleep] 1904 01:32:02.500 --> 01:32:04.291 -[stammering] -[bleep] 1905 01:32:04.375 --> 01:32:05.291 [laughs] 1906 01:32:05.375 --> 01:32:06.375 No! 1907 01:32:06.458 --> 01:32:08.291 [Ray laughing] 1908 01:32:09.625 --> 01:32:12.666 [all howling] 1909 01:32:12.750 --> 01:32:14.125 [Rob] That's a good roommate. 1910 01:32:14.208 --> 01:32:16.000 [laughing] 1911 01:32:17.500 --> 01:32:18.916 [June] Hubie Dubois! 1912 01:32:20.375 --> 01:32:25.041 -This is Hubie Dubois. -Hubie, I'm standing right behind you. 1913 01:32:25.500 --> 01:32:26.833 [Adam screaming] 1914 01:32:26.916 --> 01:32:28.208 ♪ It's Halloween… ♪ 1915 01:32:28.291 --> 01:32:30.208 [laughing] 1916 01:32:30.291 --> 01:32:34.625 [both moaning] 1917 01:32:36.208 --> 01:32:38.333 [all laughing] 1918 01:32:38.416 --> 01:32:39.416 Yes! 1919 01:32:40.750 --> 01:32:42.166 [man] And… action! 1920 01:32:42.250 --> 01:32:43.250 Freeze, Mrs. Dubois! 1921 01:32:43.875 --> 01:32:45.291 Hold your fire until my command. 1922 01:32:45.375 --> 01:32:46.708 -Shut up! -Shut it! 1923 01:32:46.791 --> 01:32:48.083 [yelps] 1924 01:32:48.166 --> 01:32:50.208 [all laughing] 1925 01:32:50.291 --> 01:32:52.333 ♪ Happy Halloween Happy Halloween… ♪ 1926 01:32:52.416 --> 01:32:53.625 [man] Whoo-hoo! 1927 01:32:53.708 --> 01:32:56.000 ♪ Happy Halloween Happy Halloween… ♪ 1928 01:32:56.083 --> 01:32:57.791 [Maya] What the hell are you doing? 1929 01:32:57.875 --> 01:32:59.708 [moaning, laughing] 1930 01:32:59.791 --> 01:33:00.875 Did that turn you on? 1931 01:33:00.958 --> 01:33:02.875 What is it supposed to be? Little penises? 1932 01:33:02.958 --> 01:33:05.958 [all laughing] 1933 01:33:06.041 --> 01:33:09.875 [speaking gibberish] 1934 01:33:09.958 --> 01:33:11.625 [all laughing] 1935 01:33:11.708 --> 01:33:14.291 -[man] Okay. -♪ Trick, trick or treat… ♪ 1936 01:33:14.375 --> 01:33:17.750 -Boo! -[man screaming] 1937 01:33:17.833 --> 01:33:20.125 Smell my feet. 1938 01:33:20.208 --> 01:33:21.041 Smell-- 1939 01:33:21.125 --> 01:33:22.000 [stammers] 1940 01:33:22.083 --> 01:33:22.916 Smell-- 1941 01:33:23.000 --> 01:33:24.125 Shmell... 1942 01:33:24.208 --> 01:33:25.583 -Smell my feet. -Really? 1943 01:33:25.666 --> 01:33:26.708 Smell my feet. 1944 01:33:26.791 --> 01:33:27.625 [laughing] 1945 01:33:27.708 --> 01:33:29.500 [screaming] 1946 01:33:30.500 --> 01:33:33.250 ♪ My eyes bulge out in horror… ♪ 1947 01:33:33.333 --> 01:33:35.708 Oh, whoa. Ho ho! 1948 01:33:36.041 --> 01:33:38.041 [both chattering] 1949 01:33:39.875 --> 01:33:42.958 Yeah. No, it was fun throwing hot dogs at him. 1950 01:33:43.708 --> 01:33:44.750 Pubie! 1951 01:33:47.916 --> 01:33:49.875 -We gonna eat Peanut tonight. -[horse neighs] 1952 01:33:49.958 --> 01:33:52.416 -He was my-- -You be quiet, too. You next. 1953 01:33:53.000 --> 01:33:56.291 ♪ Trippy Halloween Trippy, every one of us ♪ 1954 01:33:57.041 --> 01:33:58.625 -Oh, dope. -[all laughing] 1955 01:34:00.833 --> 01:34:03.791 ♪ Trippy Halloween Trippy, every one of us ♪ 1956 01:34:03.875 --> 01:34:05.375 [man] And… action! 1957 01:34:05.458 --> 01:34:07.500 [screaming] 1958 01:34:07.583 --> 01:34:10.458 No! No! No! No! 1959 01:34:10.541 --> 01:34:11.625 [Julie] Hubie! 1960 01:34:12.041 --> 01:34:13.125 ♪ Trick… ♪ 1961 01:34:13.208 --> 01:34:15.708 [Adam] Not cool! Not cool! Not cool! 1962 01:34:15.791 --> 01:34:18.000 -♪ Trick, trick or treat ♪ -[Adam grunts] 1963 01:34:33.875 --> 01:34:35.416 ♪ Freaky, freaky, freaky ♪ 1964 01:34:39.666 --> 01:34:41.041 ♪ Freaky, freaky, freaky ♪ 1965 01:34:43.125 --> 01:34:45.208 ♪ If you want to get spooky ♪ 1966 01:34:45.291 --> 01:34:47.125 ♪ Go ahead and get spooky ♪ 1967 01:34:48.875 --> 01:34:50.708 ♪ If you want to eat candy ♪ 1968 01:34:50.958 --> 01:34:52.625 ♪ Eat candy for free ♪ 1969 01:34:54.458 --> 01:34:56.791 ♪ If a vampire gives you a bite ♪ 1970 01:34:57.500 --> 01:34:59.416 ♪ You'll stay up the rest of the night ♪ 1971 01:35:00.000 --> 01:35:02.000 ♪ And if you want to get freaky ♪ 1972 01:35:02.250 --> 01:35:03.541 ♪ Get freaky with me ♪ 1973 01:35:05.083 --> 01:35:06.416 ♪ Freaky, freaky, freaky ♪ 1974 01:35:07.916 --> 01:35:09.208 ♪ Get freaky with me ♪ 1975 01:35:10.708 --> 01:35:12.041 ♪ Freaky, freaky, freaky ♪ 1976 01:35:14.375 --> 01:35:16.500 ♪ If you want to make moves on a girl ♪ 1977 01:35:16.583 --> 01:35:18.000 ♪ Make moves on a girl ♪ 1978 01:35:20.083 --> 01:35:22.125 ♪ If you want to moves on the boys ♪ 1979 01:35:22.208 --> 01:35:23.541 ♪ I won't make a fuss ♪ 1980 01:35:25.416 --> 01:35:27.708 ♪ If the electric chair Gives you a spark ♪ 1981 01:35:28.333 --> 01:35:30.458 ♪ Then you won't be afraid of the dark ♪ 1982 01:35:31.166 --> 01:35:32.958 ♪ And if you want to get freaky ♪ 1983 01:35:33.333 --> 01:35:34.666 ♪ Get freaky with us ♪ 1984 01:35:36.125 --> 01:35:37.458 ♪ Freaky, freaky, freaky ♪ 1985 01:35:39.000 --> 01:35:40.416 ♪ Get freaky with us ♪ 1986 01:35:41.750 --> 01:35:43.500 ♪ Freaky, freaky, freaky ♪ 1987 01:35:45.708 --> 01:35:51.041 ♪ Run and hide But we'll still find you ♪ 1988 01:35:51.125 --> 01:35:53.791 ♪ 'Cause something freaky ♪ 1989 01:35:53.875 --> 01:35:56.791 ♪ Is right behind you ♪ 1990 01:35:58.708 --> 01:36:00.166 ♪ Freaky, freaky, freaky ♪ 1991 01:36:04.375 --> 01:36:05.833 ♪ Freaky, freaky, freaky ♪ 1992 01:36:07.958 --> 01:36:10.250 ♪ When the stairs in your house Are creaky ♪ 1993 01:36:10.333 --> 01:36:11.916 ♪ That's pretty freaky ♪ 1994 01:36:13.541 --> 01:36:15.958 ♪ When the killer behind you is sneaky ♪ 1995 01:36:16.041 --> 01:36:17.708 ♪ That's pretty freaky ♪ 1996 01:36:19.208 --> 01:36:21.625 ♪ When the banshees at night Are shrieky ♪ 1997 01:36:21.708 --> 01:36:23.208 ♪ That's kinda freaky ♪ 1998 01:36:24.833 --> 01:36:27.375 ♪ When the rats on your face are squeaky ♪ 1999 01:36:28.000 --> 01:36:29.708 ♪ That's very freaky ♪ 2000 01:36:29.791 --> 01:36:31.041 ♪ Get freaky with me ♪ 2001 01:36:32.541 --> 01:36:33.916 ♪ Freaky, freaky, freaky ♪ 2002 01:36:35.458 --> 01:36:36.791 ♪ Get freaky with me ♪ 2003 01:36:38.166 --> 01:36:39.583 ♪ Freaky, freaky, freaky ♪ 2004 01:36:41.083 --> 01:36:42.458 ♪ Get freaky with me ♪ 2005 01:36:43.916 --> 01:36:45.333 ♪ Freaky, freaky, freaky ♪ 2006 01:36:46.750 --> 01:36:48.041 ♪ Get freaky with me ♪ 2007 01:36:48.125 --> 01:36:50.583 [crowd cheering] 2008 01:36:50.666 --> 01:36:52.500 ["Dancing with the Devil" playing] 2009 01:36:52.583 --> 01:36:53.708 ♪ Dance ♪ 2010 01:37:00.208 --> 01:37:03.833 ♪ Ghosts and goblins Very scary ♪ 2011 01:37:07.166 --> 01:37:10.583 ♪ Wolfman's back is very hairy ♪ 2012 01:37:13.750 --> 01:37:17.166 ♪ But whatcha gonna do ♪ 2013 01:37:17.791 --> 01:37:20.458 ♪ When the Devil comes for you? ♪ 2014 01:37:20.541 --> 01:37:21.583 ♪ The Devil ♪ 2015 01:37:22.500 --> 01:37:23.458 ♪ Devil ♪ 2016 01:37:24.208 --> 01:37:25.166 ♪ Devil ♪ 2017 01:37:25.875 --> 01:37:28.375 ♪ Dancing with the Devil ♪ 2018 01:37:29.375 --> 01:37:30.333 ♪ Devil ♪ 2019 01:37:31.041 --> 01:37:32.041 ♪ Devil ♪ 2020 01:37:32.750 --> 01:37:37.500 ♪ Dancing with the Devil… ♪ 2021 01:37:38.041 --> 01:37:41.125 [crowd cheering] 2022 01:37:41.208 --> 01:37:45.333 ♪ Sexy witches Ancient mummies ♪ 2023 01:37:48.250 --> 01:37:52.125 ♪ Poison candy in your tummies ♪ 2024 01:37:54.875 --> 01:37:57.958 ♪ But what you gonna say ♪ 2025 01:37:58.916 --> 01:38:01.708 ♪ When the Devil comes your way? ♪ 2026 01:38:01.791 --> 01:38:02.791 ♪ The Devil ♪ 2027 01:38:03.666 --> 01:38:04.541 ♪ Devil ♪ 2028 01:38:05.375 --> 01:38:06.208 ♪ Devil ♪ 2029 01:38:07.041 --> 01:38:09.458 ♪ Dancing with the Devil ♪ 2030 01:38:10.541 --> 01:38:11.416 ♪ Devil ♪ 2031 01:38:12.250 --> 01:38:13.083 ♪ Devil ♪ 2032 01:38:13.916 --> 01:38:18.666 ♪ Dancing with the Devil… ♪ 2033 01:38:18.750 --> 01:38:20.750 [crowd cheering] 2034 01:38:22.541 --> 01:38:24.083 ♪ Do you believe in God? ♪ 2035 01:38:25.875 --> 01:38:27.500 ♪ Do you believe in the Devil? ♪ 2036 01:38:29.375 --> 01:38:30.625 ♪ Will you dance tonight ♪ 2037 01:38:31.333 --> 01:38:32.625 ♪ In the kingdom of Heaven? ♪ 2038 01:38:32.958 --> 01:38:36.083 ♪ Or will you dance in the kingdom of Hell? ♪ 2039 01:38:36.166 --> 01:38:38.416 ♪ Ah ♪ 2040 01:38:39.708 --> 01:38:42.041 ♪ Ah ♪ 2041 01:38:43.083 --> 01:38:45.458 ♪ Ah ♪ 2042 01:38:46.500 --> 01:38:48.958 ♪ Ah ♪ 2043 01:38:49.958 --> 01:38:52.333 ♪ Ah ♪ 2044 01:38:53.333 --> 01:38:55.833 ♪ Ah ♪ 2045 01:38:56.791 --> 01:38:59.125 ♪ Ah ♪ 2046 01:39:00.250 --> 01:39:02.583 ♪ Ah ♪ 2047 01:39:03.666 --> 01:39:04.541 ♪ Devil ♪ 2048 01:39:05.333 --> 01:39:06.208 ♪ Devil ♪ 2049 01:39:07.083 --> 01:39:08.041 ♪ Devil ♪ 2050 01:39:08.750 --> 01:39:11.208 ♪ Dancing with the Devil ♪ 2051 01:39:12.166 --> 01:39:13.041 ♪ Devil ♪ 2052 01:39:13.833 --> 01:39:14.708 ♪ Devil ♪ 2053 01:39:15.583 --> 01:39:18.083 ♪ Dancing with the Devil ♪ 2054 01:39:19.083 --> 01:39:19.958 ♪ Devil ♪ 2055 01:39:20.750 --> 01:39:21.625 ♪ Devil ♪ 2056 01:39:22.500 --> 01:39:25.000 ♪ Dancing with the Devil ♪ 2057 01:39:25.958 --> 01:39:26.833 ♪ Devil ♪ 2058 01:39:27.625 --> 01:39:28.500 ♪ Devil ♪ 2059 01:39:29.375 --> 01:39:31.791 ♪ Dancing with the Devil ♪ 2060 01:39:32.458 --> 01:39:35.125 [crowd cheering]