1 00:00:02,000 --> 00:00:07,000 Downloaded from YTS.MX 2 00:00:08,000 --> 00:00:13,000 Official YIFY movies site: YTS.MX 3 00:01:10,000 --> 00:01:11,000 Hello 4 00:01:11,100 --> 00:01:12,980 Hi! I'm Elisabeth 5 00:01:13,300 --> 00:01:15,276 For the meetup group right? YES! 6 00:01:15,300 --> 00:01:17,276 Nice to meet you come on in. 7 00:01:17,300 --> 00:01:19,480 Such a lovely house 8 00:01:20,620 --> 00:01:23,276 Thank you. It's my mum's actually. 9 00:01:23,300 --> 00:01:25,276 She is out of town. Doesn't even know that I'm 10 00:01:25,300 --> 00:01:27,276 Oh darling 11 00:01:27,300 --> 00:01:29,276 don't be nervous 12 00:01:29,300 --> 00:01:31,300 it will be fine 13 00:01:31,530 --> 00:01:33,300 could you 14 00:01:37,300 --> 00:01:39,276 do you mind if I just pop to the loo? 15 00:01:39,300 --> 00:01:41,276 Of course sweetheart 16 00:01:41,300 --> 00:01:43,276 No problem I will just 17 00:01:43,300 --> 00:01:45,300 make myself comfortable 18 00:01:59,300 --> 00:02:01,300 How could you do such a thing you idiot? 19 00:02:07,300 --> 00:02:09,276 Oh, I didn't hear the door 20 00:02:09,300 --> 00:02:11,276 Sorry, did you.. 21 00:02:11,300 --> 00:02:13,276 Darling this is John 22 00:02:13,300 --> 00:02:15,076 He is a wonderful pianist 23 00:02:15,100 --> 00:02:15,277 I met him at one of my meetups, where we'd sing songs. 24 00:02:15,301 --> 00:02:17,540 I met him at one of my meetups, where we'd sing songs. 25 00:02:17,600 --> 00:02:20,280 Right? You two know each other from before? 26 00:02:21,300 --> 00:02:22,980 Hi. It's Can actually, it's a Turkish name 27 00:02:23,300 --> 00:02:25,276 No no no you can call me John I don't mind it 28 00:02:25,300 --> 00:02:27,276 Oh! Hold on let me get that 29 00:02:27,300 --> 00:02:29,276 This is exciting 30 00:02:29,300 --> 00:02:31,300 people are coming! 31 00:02:46,180 --> 00:02:47,180 Linda! 32 00:02:47,300 --> 00:02:49,557 What was that song you sang last time with John! 33 00:02:49,581 --> 00:02:52,280 Oh, Light Me Up. It's my boyfriend's composition 34 00:02:52,380 --> 00:02:54,580 Your boyfriend's composition? 35 00:02:54,660 --> 00:02:55,660 I have it! 36 00:02:55,940 --> 00:02:56,740 No way 37 00:02:56,900 --> 00:02:59,300 Way! 38 00:03:09,200 --> 00:03:11,260 Baby 39 00:03:12,060 --> 00:03:15,260 I see you walking past me 40 00:03:15,830 --> 00:03:18,230 But I swear your soul kissed 41 00:03:18,460 --> 00:03:21,330 my eternity 42 00:03:23,260 --> 00:03:25,260 Hold me 43 00:03:26,860 --> 00:03:29,236 closely 44 00:03:29,260 --> 00:03:32,200 with every touch I'll make you 45 00:03:33,260 --> 00:03:35,660 believe in me 46 00:03:37,260 --> 00:03:39,260 You killed me 47 00:03:40,930 --> 00:03:43,236 with purity 48 00:03:43,260 --> 00:03:48,230 you separated all the blood in my soul 49 00:03:51,260 --> 00:03:53,260 light me up 50 00:03:54,260 --> 00:03:56,206 tone me down 51 00:03:56,230 --> 00:03:58,400 moi your palette 52 00:03:58,460 --> 00:04:01,960 vous my song 53 00:04:03,630 --> 00:04:05,600 Your touch illustrates 54 00:04:06,900 --> 00:04:10,900 colors into my skin 55 00:04:15,300 --> 00:04:17,300 Oh, wonderful! 56 00:04:19,820 --> 00:04:21,420 I want to propose a toast 57 00:04:22,420 --> 00:04:24,560 to the lady who brought music to this party 58 00:04:25,300 --> 00:04:27,300 Oh! Thank you 59 00:04:28,580 --> 00:04:31,276 That's why I love organising music groups 60 00:04:31,300 --> 00:04:32,760 you get to sing together 61 00:04:33,030 --> 00:04:34,530 and you have so much fun 62 00:04:34,820 --> 00:04:37,460 This is what young people need to bear in mind and take away 63 00:04:38,160 --> 00:04:39,920 Music is the way to stay 64 00:04:40,580 --> 00:04:41,277 modest 65 00:04:41,301 --> 00:04:42,816 and humble in this world 66 00:04:42,840 --> 00:04:44,880 I don't want to sound like the annoying uncle but.. 67 00:04:45,300 --> 00:04:47,276 Well, I'm afraid you do 68 00:04:47,300 --> 00:04:49,300 When you generalise about "all young people" 69 00:04:50,160 --> 00:04:52,630 and then you talk about modesty and humility 70 00:04:53,730 --> 00:04:55,660 sorry it's just a real bugbear of mine 71 00:04:57,300 --> 00:04:59,276 Sorry 72 00:04:59,300 --> 00:05:01,300 Who are you? 73 00:05:02,200 --> 00:05:03,660 I'm Samantha 74 00:05:04,040 --> 00:05:05,520 Why? Does that make a difference? 75 00:05:05,880 --> 00:05:07,300 Guys, come on 76 00:05:07,730 --> 00:05:09,276 Is that the booze talking? 77 00:05:09,300 --> 00:05:11,300 No, just me being a bitch 78 00:05:15,860 --> 00:05:17,700 Oh, I need to get this sorry 79 00:05:20,560 --> 00:05:21,700 You know honey 80 00:05:21,860 --> 00:05:24,500 I truly believe, that when one believes enough 81 00:05:25,300 --> 00:05:26,760 there's nothing one can't achieve 82 00:05:26,900 --> 00:05:27,900 "The secret!" 83 00:05:28,040 --> 00:05:31,740 Yes darling! We create our own destiny with our energy 84 00:05:32,230 --> 00:05:35,276 Look, I'm sorry to interrupt but can I also state my opinion? 85 00:05:35,300 --> 00:05:40,880 I think all this "energy and believe in it and let your dreams come true is bullshit" 86 00:05:42,740 --> 00:05:48,560 Of course! It's all about taking selfies and posting on facebook and instagram. 87 00:05:48,680 --> 00:05:50,780 Not worth chasing your goals 88 00:05:51,300 --> 00:05:53,276 You know that's not my point at all 89 00:05:53,300 --> 00:05:56,000 and I don't take pictures and post what I eat on instagram 90 00:05:56,540 --> 00:06:01,840 I think these so called "secret" and other cliched sayings are just as commercial as your examples 91 00:06:02,280 --> 00:06:07,980 What cliche? The girl sings wonderfully and a living example of what we are all talking about here 92 00:06:08,220 --> 00:06:09,960 The girl doesn't sing at Carnegie Hall. 93 00:06:10,400 --> 00:06:13,660 She sings her boyfriend's songs at meetup parties. 94 00:06:13,700 --> 00:06:19,220 Oh it's not commercial enough for you. Whatever happened to simplicity and 95 00:06:19,480 --> 00:06:25,716 I'm not saying those are bad and I don't understand why everyone's got hostile when I express my opinion 96 00:06:25,740 --> 00:06:27,276 Not everyone 97 00:06:27,300 --> 00:06:30,500 I think these days, just like on facebook and instagram 98 00:06:31,100 --> 00:06:36,860 people made plastic versions of deep philosophies and psychological complexities 99 00:06:37,340 --> 00:06:40,180 and then they sell them by making them sound simple 100 00:06:40,220 --> 00:06:43,820 You know that they are sweet tricks to attract naive people. 101 00:06:43,900 --> 00:06:46,060 Oh you're making such a big thing of it. 102 00:06:47,300 --> 00:06:49,820 You have quite a big ego don't you? 103 00:06:50,800 --> 00:06:54,800 Shouldn't you be at home reading books and not wasting time at parties? 104 00:06:56,260 --> 00:06:57,540 I think may be you are right 105 00:06:58,140 --> 00:06:59,940 Guys.. come on 106 00:07:00,040 --> 00:07:04,180 Well seriously, first we have "all young people" generalization 107 00:07:04,220 --> 00:07:07,276 now we have this "psychology, philosophy, I know all that" 108 00:07:07,300 --> 00:07:09,276 I didn't say that 109 00:07:09,300 --> 00:07:11,420 No, but it's obvious that's what you're thinking 110 00:07:11,480 --> 00:07:13,776 Ok and who are you to judge me like that? 111 00:07:13,800 --> 00:07:18,376 Guys please, can we not spend the whole night arguing and throwing sass at each other? 112 00:07:18,400 --> 00:07:20,540 Let's show some respect for our host. 113 00:07:20,720 --> 00:07:21,796 Now I'm disrespectful 114 00:07:21,820 --> 00:07:25,276 Seriously I will not have this anymore at my house 115 00:07:25,300 --> 00:07:27,276 You're right honey don't be sad 116 00:07:27,300 --> 00:07:29,520 why don't we lighten the mood a bit? 117 00:07:29,580 --> 00:07:31,276 I'm not sad 118 00:07:31,300 --> 00:07:33,300 John! Honey, play something for us 119 00:07:33,340 --> 00:07:36,480 No, seriously if I play the piece I've been practising lately 120 00:07:37,300 --> 00:07:39,276 This party is going to be doomed 121 00:07:39,300 --> 00:07:41,276 Mmm I like the sound of that 122 00:07:41,300 --> 00:07:42,860 It's so difficult. I.. 123 00:07:42,920 --> 00:07:46,416 Oh come on honey this is not a concert hall! 124 00:07:46,440 --> 00:07:47,277 Okay 125 00:07:47,301 --> 00:07:49,276 for the sake of changing the mood 126 00:07:49,300 --> 00:07:51,300 I'll give it a go 127 00:09:24,300 --> 00:09:26,456 is anyone gonna tell me what's going on? 128 00:09:26,480 --> 00:09:28,136 Now people go missing? 129 00:09:28,160 --> 00:09:28,980 It's all right darling, I got you! 130 00:09:29,020 --> 00:09:29,436 It makes sense 131 00:09:29,460 --> 00:09:30,680 She's fainted 132 00:09:31,660 --> 00:09:32,720 No way? 133 00:09:33,820 --> 00:09:35,100 Do you mind? 134 00:10:03,300 --> 00:10:05,300 Oh fuck! Fuck 135 00:10:40,660 --> 00:10:41,460 Jody? 136 00:10:41,640 --> 00:10:43,276 Wait, Jody! 137 00:10:43,300 --> 00:10:45,276 Jody! 138 00:10:45,300 --> 00:10:47,300 JODY! 139 00:10:59,920 --> 00:11:00,920 Jody! 140 00:11:01,900 --> 00:11:02,900 Jody! 141 00:11:06,320 --> 00:11:08,960 Jody wait! Jody stop! 142 00:11:37,120 --> 00:11:38,440 Jody 143 00:11:39,040 --> 00:11:41,300 I'm not going to hurt you 144 00:11:42,080 --> 00:11:43,300 Listen to me 145 00:11:44,980 --> 00:11:45,780 Jody 146 00:11:45,860 --> 00:11:47,300 Jody wait! 147 00:11:51,100 --> 00:11:53,300 Jody! wait! 148 00:12:22,720 --> 00:12:23,960 Jody 149 00:12:48,840 --> 00:12:50,900 I know what you're thinking 150 00:12:50,960 --> 00:12:51,316 What? 151 00:12:51,340 --> 00:12:52,780 You know what 152 00:12:52,860 --> 00:12:54,840 What do you want me to say? 153 00:12:54,940 --> 00:12:57,500 I mean You're bloody fainting or whatever 154 00:12:57,700 --> 00:13:01,300 and you wake up on the floor and you are telling me this is not one of your episodes? 155 00:13:01,340 --> 00:13:03,240 Lara I told you, and I told mum 156 00:13:03,300 --> 00:13:05,296 this wasn't one of those 157 00:13:05,320 --> 00:13:06,776 if you just get in touch with these people 158 00:13:06,800 --> 00:13:09,376 you have it all clear in your mind, you'll know what happened 159 00:13:09,400 --> 00:13:10,616 Yeah and face the humiliation 160 00:13:10,640 --> 00:13:11,440 what humiliation? 161 00:13:11,500 --> 00:13:14,616 Come on Lara, you know these people played a prank on me! 162 00:13:14,640 --> 00:13:16,616 Or what are you saying? 163 00:13:16,640 --> 00:13:19,460 I just passed out and had an hour long hallucination is that it? 164 00:13:20,660 --> 00:13:23,060 I'm not saying anything and I told you, don't put this on me 165 00:13:26,640 --> 00:13:28,640 This is not helping 166 00:13:30,640 --> 00:13:32,640 Julie I want to help you 167 00:13:37,820 --> 00:13:39,560 I'm just trying to understand Julie 168 00:13:41,580 --> 00:13:42,640 Ok. 169 00:13:43,020 --> 00:13:46,180 So the way I see it, there's two options 170 00:13:46,640 --> 00:13:50,020 the first, you are right. They played a huge prank on you, well done them 171 00:13:51,800 --> 00:13:52,617 Second 172 00:13:52,641 --> 00:13:54,640 you know you've been on so much medication 173 00:13:54,800 --> 00:13:56,640 Second! Right, second! 174 00:13:56,680 --> 00:13:58,360 I'm crazy. 175 00:13:58,420 --> 00:13:59,480 Julie come on 176 00:13:59,540 --> 00:14:02,616 Don't Julie me. It's so easy for you isn't it? 177 00:14:02,640 --> 00:14:04,096 I'm trying to help you 178 00:14:04,120 --> 00:14:07,540 I'm not just talking about you, it's all of you. You, mum, everybody! 179 00:14:10,180 --> 00:14:12,640 You have no idea what I'm going through do you? 180 00:16:07,080 --> 00:16:08,240 Let go 181 00:16:08,830 --> 00:16:10,616 Give up 182 00:16:10,640 --> 00:16:12,640 You know it's best 183 00:16:51,640 --> 00:16:54,640 There's a woman upstairs 184 00:16:58,000 --> 00:17:03,776 I told you they are chasing after me. No one believes me 185 00:17:03,800 --> 00:17:07,000 I'm not making this up 186 00:17:10,400 --> 00:17:12,640 She must have left 187 00:17:17,130 --> 00:17:18,640 Oh... 188 00:17:19,020 --> 00:17:21,420 Mum. I know that tone. 189 00:17:24,640 --> 00:17:26,640 We both know it don't we? 190 00:17:30,520 --> 00:17:32,040 Can I just... 191 00:17:34,640 --> 00:17:35,396 Mum please 192 00:17:35,420 --> 00:17:36,156 Baby! 193 00:17:36,180 --> 00:17:40,240 Please don't do that! 194 00:17:40,300 --> 00:17:42,640 What have you done to yourself? 195 00:17:44,120 --> 00:17:45,980 My baby! 196 00:17:47,560 --> 00:17:49,180 Why? 197 00:19:38,640 --> 00:19:40,616 I'm giving this to you 198 00:19:40,640 --> 00:19:44,300 But I'm not letting go of the meaning and the experience that we shared 199 00:19:44,640 --> 00:19:46,616 I'll keep that forever 200 00:19:46,640 --> 00:19:48,616 and I know you will too 201 00:19:48,640 --> 00:19:50,640 I will 202 00:19:54,380 --> 00:19:56,640 I don't have any words any more 203 00:19:57,860 --> 00:19:59,280 guess that's the point right? 204 00:20:01,520 --> 00:20:03,316 Shall we hug? 205 00:20:03,340 --> 00:20:04,640 Thank you 206 00:20:07,680 --> 00:20:09,020 Hi Julianne 207 00:20:09,060 --> 00:20:10,616 thanks for calling 208 00:20:10,640 --> 00:20:12,616 I've got your e mail 209 00:20:12,640 --> 00:20:14,776 I can fit you in at 4 o'clock tomorrow. 210 00:20:14,800 --> 00:20:16,776 4 o'clock tomorrow is fine 211 00:20:16,800 --> 00:20:18,800 Great, I'll see you at my private practise 212 00:20:19,880 --> 00:20:20,680 Ok 213 00:20:20,800 --> 00:20:22,800 Ok. Bye 214 00:20:24,000 --> 00:20:25,720 Bye 215 00:21:04,800 --> 00:21:06,800 Hey! 216 00:21:14,800 --> 00:21:16,800 Hey 217 00:21:44,800 --> 00:21:48,800 I organised this meetup party for creative people 218 00:21:51,340 --> 00:21:53,140 It just went awfully wrong 219 00:21:54,800 --> 00:21:56,776 They are all after me now 220 00:21:56,800 --> 00:21:58,800 They are trying to kill me 221 00:22:02,020 --> 00:22:03,030 in my dreams 222 00:22:03,130 --> 00:22:04,130 but 223 00:22:04,360 --> 00:22:06,800 it just seems so real 224 00:22:07,330 --> 00:22:11,380 I'm really scared I'm actually going to die 225 00:22:12,800 --> 00:22:14,800 Did this start about the party? 226 00:22:16,060 --> 00:22:17,600 Your dreams I mean 227 00:22:18,800 --> 00:22:20,800 I've always had trouble with my sleep 228 00:22:22,280 --> 00:22:23,920 sleepwalking, 229 00:22:24,060 --> 00:22:26,800 when half awake, hallucinating 230 00:22:27,100 --> 00:22:29,080 but nothing this extreme 231 00:22:31,300 --> 00:22:33,920 there is something really wrong this time 232 00:22:33,960 --> 00:22:36,200 This woman Elisabeth 233 00:22:36,800 --> 00:22:38,800 and the piano guy John 234 00:22:39,580 --> 00:22:41,780 he played this piece at the party and 235 00:22:43,440 --> 00:22:45,460 everything just went wrong after that 236 00:22:46,540 --> 00:22:48,776 What was it like before this happened? 237 00:22:48,800 --> 00:22:50,800 What kind of people are they? 238 00:22:51,380 --> 00:22:55,700 They were actually the nicest and the friendliest ones towards me 239 00:22:56,760 --> 00:22:58,776 I don't understand 240 00:22:58,800 --> 00:23:00,800 That's interesting 241 00:23:01,430 --> 00:23:02,776 so they were nice 242 00:23:02,800 --> 00:23:04,776 and now they're your monsters 243 00:23:04,800 --> 00:23:06,800 Yes. They were really supportive 244 00:23:07,620 --> 00:23:08,800 And how are you? 245 00:23:09,640 --> 00:23:10,776 What, now? 246 00:23:10,800 --> 00:23:12,800 Not just now 247 00:23:13,400 --> 00:23:14,400 In general 248 00:23:14,480 --> 00:23:16,800 Do you support yourself? 249 00:23:18,800 --> 00:23:20,800 I 250 00:23:23,730 --> 00:23:24,800 I 251 00:23:26,800 --> 00:23:28,800 My questions made you sad 252 00:23:32,100 --> 00:23:33,100 I 253 00:23:41,180 --> 00:23:42,800 I hurt 254 00:23:46,520 --> 00:23:48,776 I've got no choice 255 00:23:48,800 --> 00:23:52,460 I look like this cheerful and nice person but 256 00:23:52,800 --> 00:23:54,800 I'm this.. 257 00:23:55,260 --> 00:23:56,800 This! 258 00:23:58,800 --> 00:24:00,800 You feel you have no choice. 259 00:24:02,120 --> 00:24:04,800 It helps you to hurt yourself 260 00:24:05,330 --> 00:24:06,800 I understand 261 00:24:08,480 --> 00:24:09,480 You do? 262 00:24:13,320 --> 00:24:15,460 Have you seen a therapist before Julianne? 263 00:24:16,060 --> 00:24:17,840 A psychiatrist.. 264 00:24:17,900 --> 00:24:19,220 My mum took me 265 00:24:19,280 --> 00:24:22,540 He said I had bp something. 266 00:24:22,800 --> 00:24:24,800 Borderline? Bipolar? 267 00:24:25,180 --> 00:24:26,800 Borderline 268 00:24:27,680 --> 00:24:28,800 He was an asshole 269 00:24:29,460 --> 00:24:30,800 Didn't end well 270 00:24:32,260 --> 00:24:34,776 Ended quite messy actually 271 00:24:34,800 --> 00:24:36,800 Life isn't always beautiful 272 00:24:39,360 --> 00:24:41,330 How do these people kill you? 273 00:24:42,800 --> 00:24:44,800 They strangle me 274 00:24:46,300 --> 00:24:48,580 Can just pushed me to the ground and 275 00:24:50,600 --> 00:24:52,320 Elisabeth caught me off guard 276 00:24:55,640 --> 00:24:57,420 If you see them in your dreams 277 00:24:58,180 --> 00:25:00,800 they aren't other people 278 00:25:01,660 --> 00:25:02,800 What do you mean? 279 00:25:03,720 --> 00:25:06,200 You catch yourself off guard 280 00:25:07,260 --> 00:25:09,160 You are strangling yourself 281 00:25:10,800 --> 00:25:12,776 Ok. You are scaring me now. 282 00:25:12,800 --> 00:25:14,800 I don't mean to scare you Julianne 283 00:25:15,960 --> 00:25:18,200 but what you're saying already is scary 284 00:25:19,400 --> 00:25:21,460 Where do these people come from? 285 00:25:22,800 --> 00:25:24,800 Who brings them here? 286 00:25:27,620 --> 00:25:29,220 Oh right, here you go 287 00:25:30,800 --> 00:25:32,776 You know what? You can go to hell 288 00:25:32,800 --> 00:25:34,776 All of you 289 00:25:34,800 --> 00:25:36,560 I don't know why I even bothered 290 00:25:36,800 --> 00:25:37,880 What's wrong Julianne? 291 00:25:37,920 --> 00:25:39,240 What's wrong? 292 00:25:39,300 --> 00:25:40,500 You are wrong 293 00:25:41,080 --> 00:25:42,980 All these people are in my head 294 00:25:43,560 --> 00:25:44,360 right? 295 00:25:44,400 --> 00:25:47,120 Well good for you, so clever, you nailed it 296 00:25:47,220 --> 00:25:48,220 I don't understand 297 00:25:48,300 --> 00:25:49,100 You won't need to 298 00:25:49,160 --> 00:25:51,540 I don't think you should go like this 299 00:25:51,600 --> 00:25:54,340 Yeah? watch me! 300 00:25:54,620 --> 00:25:55,880 No 301 00:25:56,020 --> 00:25:57,780 What? 302 00:25:57,840 --> 00:26:00,060 Who do you think you are? Get out of my way! 303 00:26:00,180 --> 00:26:02,740 I'm not getting out of your way until you manage to stay with me 304 00:26:03,120 --> 00:26:05,060 Don't you fucking shout at me you crazy bi... 305 00:26:05,120 --> 00:26:06,960 I am not shouting at you because I'm angry 306 00:26:07,400 --> 00:26:09,920 I'm trying to reach you 307 00:26:10,020 --> 00:26:11,140 What is this? 308 00:26:11,220 --> 00:26:12,840 You think you can use force to stop me 309 00:26:12,920 --> 00:26:16,800 Look into my eyes. Is that what you see? 310 00:26:19,720 --> 00:26:20,840 What are you doing? 311 00:26:22,140 --> 00:26:24,100 I'm trying to stay with you Julianne 312 00:26:24,280 --> 00:26:25,280 Why? 313 00:26:25,600 --> 00:26:28,800 Because I think no one else does 314 00:26:53,180 --> 00:26:54,800 Is my hand all right there? 315 00:27:03,900 --> 00:27:05,180 I don't want to do this 316 00:27:06,800 --> 00:27:08,800 I know 317 00:27:09,380 --> 00:27:11,820 I know it's painful 318 00:27:12,800 --> 00:27:14,776 But I'm here 319 00:27:14,800 --> 00:27:16,800 and I want to be here 320 00:27:17,100 --> 00:27:18,800 In your pain 321 00:27:20,680 --> 00:27:22,560 What happened there 322 00:27:25,400 --> 00:27:28,160 I'm interested in your reaction 323 00:27:30,800 --> 00:27:32,800 Has this happened before? 324 00:27:34,140 --> 00:27:36,020 You have no idea what I'm going through do you? 325 00:27:36,800 --> 00:27:39,230 Fuck your care! Thanks for your loving and caring chat 326 00:27:43,400 --> 00:27:44,800 Almost always 327 00:27:46,820 --> 00:27:47,920 Right 328 00:27:50,260 --> 00:27:52,800 You didn't have to be a bitch though 329 00:27:53,840 --> 00:27:55,080 I know 330 00:27:56,300 --> 00:27:58,776 I'm sorry 331 00:27:58,800 --> 00:28:00,800 I had to improvise 332 00:28:11,280 --> 00:28:12,800 I'm not feeling worse 333 00:28:15,880 --> 00:28:17,120 I won't stay for long 334 00:28:18,140 --> 00:28:19,816 I just want to make sure you are in one piece 335 00:28:19,840 --> 00:28:22,240 Mum I don't want to talk about this 336 00:28:22,460 --> 00:28:24,800 That's why people go to therapy right? It's private 337 00:28:25,640 --> 00:28:27,080 Oh do they now? 338 00:28:27,640 --> 00:28:29,520 And what's there to keep from one's own mother? 339 00:28:29,860 --> 00:28:30,920 Who's worried as hell 340 00:28:31,380 --> 00:28:33,456 and who's getting messages from her daughter's best friend 341 00:28:33,480 --> 00:28:34,800 that she's worried 342 00:28:35,520 --> 00:28:36,900 All I wanted is for you.. 343 00:28:37,000 --> 00:28:40,240 Yeah that's not fair is it? What do you want.. 344 00:28:40,800 --> 00:28:42,800 What do I want ha? 345 00:28:43,160 --> 00:28:44,180 Oh 346 00:28:44,600 --> 00:28:46,800 Did she give you that individualistic crap? 347 00:28:47,600 --> 00:28:48,856 I should have found you a therapist 348 00:28:48,880 --> 00:28:51,120 Mum can you stop making this about her? 349 00:28:52,180 --> 00:28:53,500 I just told her what happened and 350 00:28:54,040 --> 00:28:55,040 The party 351 00:28:55,580 --> 00:28:57,460 Yeah. Not just that 352 00:28:57,900 --> 00:29:00,800 What do you mean? 353 00:29:02,660 --> 00:29:04,800 Oh 354 00:29:07,960 --> 00:29:10,240 Did someone leave you Julianne? 355 00:29:11,740 --> 00:29:14,300 Oh we are not going there 356 00:29:15,620 --> 00:29:16,980 I think we are there 357 00:29:18,260 --> 00:29:20,800 I think you are there all the time 358 00:29:31,380 --> 00:29:32,800 What? 359 00:29:32,980 --> 00:29:34,800 Do that some more 360 00:29:35,680 --> 00:29:37,500 What? Why? 361 00:29:38,020 --> 00:29:40,800 Looks like they're doing the talking 362 00:29:41,500 --> 00:29:43,460 They are doing what you're not saying 363 00:29:45,480 --> 00:29:46,800 I don't want to talk about it 364 00:29:47,220 --> 00:29:48,800 Then don't 365 00:29:49,040 --> 00:29:50,800 Let your hands do the talking 366 00:29:53,960 --> 00:29:55,000 Here 367 00:30:00,640 --> 00:30:01,640 Try on this 368 00:30:05,220 --> 00:30:06,800 Come on 369 00:30:07,880 --> 00:30:10,060 Do it some more 370 00:30:17,900 --> 00:30:19,730 How does it feel? 371 00:30:21,540 --> 00:30:22,940 Stupid 372 00:30:23,600 --> 00:30:24,800 Yes 373 00:30:26,060 --> 00:30:27,380 What else? 374 00:30:30,540 --> 00:30:32,100 More stupid? 375 00:30:32,180 --> 00:30:34,020 So say it 376 00:30:34,120 --> 00:30:36,800 Say it to the stupid cushion. Try 377 00:30:40,060 --> 00:30:41,220 What? Stupid? 378 00:30:41,860 --> 00:30:42,860 Yes 379 00:30:43,260 --> 00:30:44,800 Try it more 380 00:30:49,060 --> 00:30:49,940 But.. 381 00:30:50,020 --> 00:30:51,680 Come on Julianne 382 00:30:52,380 --> 00:30:54,540 Say it 383 00:30:54,620 --> 00:30:56,800 Let go 384 00:31:01,760 --> 00:31:03,060 Listen to your body 385 00:31:07,280 --> 00:31:08,800 What do you notice? 386 00:31:13,960 --> 00:31:15,580 My back 387 00:31:19,540 --> 00:31:20,800 Stupid 388 00:31:26,440 --> 00:31:28,240 You're angry Julianne 389 00:31:28,540 --> 00:31:30,260 You seem angry 390 00:31:30,420 --> 00:31:32,800 I am angry! I'm fucking angry! 391 00:31:33,140 --> 00:31:35,060 Yes. Julianne 392 00:31:36,320 --> 00:31:38,800 I'm with you let go 393 00:31:52,220 --> 00:31:53,600 I can't 394 00:31:54,800 --> 00:31:56,800 I can't 395 00:31:59,780 --> 00:32:01,160 Who is it Julianne? 396 00:32:08,180 --> 00:32:10,800 What the cushion? 397 00:32:12,440 --> 00:32:14,800 Who left you? 398 00:32:24,800 --> 00:32:28,120 My father 399 00:32:36,620 --> 00:32:38,360 When? 400 00:32:41,720 --> 00:32:44,120 I never met him 401 00:33:12,160 --> 00:33:14,800 I'm trying to reach you 402 00:33:18,200 --> 00:33:21,500 You are strangling yourself 403 00:33:39,360 --> 00:33:41,200 Am I supposed to feel guilty about it now? 404 00:33:44,360 --> 00:33:46,800 How wonderful the way you emphasize the "I" 405 00:33:47,220 --> 00:33:48,280 No I should 406 00:33:48,360 --> 00:33:50,800 Oh mum please don't start with the I should haves 407 00:33:51,740 --> 00:33:52,800 What? 408 00:33:53,480 --> 00:33:54,776 You are looking for someone to blame 409 00:33:54,800 --> 00:33:56,776 and you don't want to take it 410 00:33:56,800 --> 00:33:58,776 fine, blame me 411 00:33:58,800 --> 00:34:00,776 blame me for not burning that bloody letter 412 00:34:00,800 --> 00:34:02,776 Blame me for having you 413 00:34:02,800 --> 00:34:04,800 I chose to understand him 414 00:34:05,430 --> 00:34:07,560 forgive him 415 00:34:13,480 --> 00:34:15,780 No listen, he's a ghost in my life 416 00:34:16,040 --> 00:34:18,420 I mean, you don't talk about him 417 00:34:18,800 --> 00:34:21,280 all I know is that he didn't want me 418 00:34:22,220 --> 00:34:24,776 and he didn't want you because of me 419 00:34:24,800 --> 00:34:26,776 I think you should stop seeing that woman 420 00:34:26,800 --> 00:34:28,800 I don't want your nose in all this OK? 421 00:34:29,300 --> 00:34:30,800 My nose? 422 00:34:30,840 --> 00:34:32,040 I'm paying for it 423 00:34:32,080 --> 00:34:33,340 Yeah 424 00:34:33,420 --> 00:34:34,900 Well listen, I want you out of here 425 00:34:35,000 --> 00:34:37,260 I want it more than you do, you spoiled little brat 426 00:34:37,340 --> 00:34:40,800 Go snivel to that so sacred therapist 427 00:34:42,500 --> 00:34:44,800 It's too early to play the jealous card! 428 00:34:55,580 --> 00:34:57,280 She never drank it did she? 429 00:35:19,800 --> 00:35:21,600 Leave it 430 00:35:28,360 --> 00:35:30,776 I was really worried about you 431 00:35:30,800 --> 00:35:33,081 it was an absolute horrow show you went through you know? 432 00:35:33,460 --> 00:35:34,800 Yeah 433 00:35:35,360 --> 00:35:36,860 Are you still seeing that therapist? 434 00:35:37,200 --> 00:35:38,800 Yeah I am 435 00:35:39,280 --> 00:35:41,940 And actually its after seeing her that I've been feeling different 436 00:35:42,600 --> 00:35:44,800 How long do you have to see her for? 437 00:35:44,900 --> 00:35:47,300 Is there a time when she just says "darling you're cured"? 438 00:35:48,800 --> 00:35:50,776 It's gonna be a while 439 00:35:50,800 --> 00:35:52,800 I mean we have an open ended contract 440 00:35:53,400 --> 00:35:54,776 And.. 441 00:35:54,800 --> 00:35:58,120 She says " We are at a very important point in our journey" 442 00:35:58,800 --> 00:36:00,800 Oh yes? 443 00:36:02,140 --> 00:36:03,140 What? 444 00:36:03,380 --> 00:36:05,320 Well I know I know it's private and everything, 445 00:36:05,460 --> 00:36:09,260 but I mean if you wanted to give me any juicy details on what you guys talk about 446 00:36:09,660 --> 00:36:11,120 Yeah of course 447 00:36:11,280 --> 00:36:12,800 I wouldn't have a stroke telling you 448 00:36:16,480 --> 00:36:18,800 It just all comes down to mum 449 00:36:21,440 --> 00:36:25,040 I know she'd freak out if she knew how much she damaged me 450 00:36:26,200 --> 00:36:28,400 but I know she didn't do it intentionally 451 00:36:29,260 --> 00:36:33,020 Yeah. Parents. Constantly unintentionally fucking things up. 452 00:36:34,800 --> 00:36:36,420 Yep! 453 00:36:36,480 --> 00:36:39,060 So this serious work, tell me. You know, 454 00:36:39,260 --> 00:36:41,396 what is it she says to you that actually makes a difference 455 00:36:41,420 --> 00:36:44,430 it's not so much about what she says 456 00:36:44,800 --> 00:36:46,776 it's more about how she is 457 00:36:46,800 --> 00:36:51,200 she has a way of entering and touching the core of things 458 00:36:52,060 --> 00:36:55,920 So she touches and enters? 459 00:36:55,980 --> 00:36:56,777 Yeah! 460 00:36:56,801 --> 00:37:00,180 She entered and touched my monsters! 461 00:37:03,380 --> 00:37:04,500 And then, 462 00:37:04,620 --> 00:37:07,420 and only then, can you learn to love yourself 463 00:37:07,480 --> 00:37:08,800 Oh yes! 464 00:37:17,500 --> 00:37:18,860 No I mean seriously, 465 00:37:19,020 --> 00:37:20,800 I know we are joking and all, 466 00:37:20,860 --> 00:37:21,860 but 467 00:37:21,920 --> 00:37:24,776 there's something really weird and unique happening in that room 468 00:37:24,800 --> 00:37:26,800 But you gotta admit it just sounds a bit 469 00:37:28,040 --> 00:37:28,777 What? 470 00:37:28,801 --> 00:37:30,776 Well, all of this 471 00:37:30,800 --> 00:37:32,776 going back to your childhood 472 00:37:32,800 --> 00:37:33,960 talking about mother issues 473 00:37:34,800 --> 00:37:36,800 it's not exactly going into your childhood 474 00:37:37,820 --> 00:37:39,680 I'm realising more and more it's 475 00:37:40,800 --> 00:37:42,776 we're all still in our childhoods, you know 476 00:37:42,800 --> 00:37:47,880 and somewhere along the way we desperately try and adapt to this adult world 477 00:37:48,800 --> 00:37:49,980 at least I am 478 00:37:50,220 --> 00:37:54,700 the thing is you can't spend your entire life just playing around, there has to be some limitation 479 00:37:54,800 --> 00:37:56,160 Why not? 480 00:37:56,220 --> 00:37:58,880 I mean, if everyone followed their heart 481 00:37:59,200 --> 00:38:00,860 at least we'd have real people 482 00:38:01,560 --> 00:38:04,776 instead of institutionalized zombies 483 00:38:04,800 --> 00:38:06,776 in that party, 484 00:38:06,800 --> 00:38:08,960 Samantha was so bitchy 485 00:38:09,400 --> 00:38:10,800 I'm not 486 00:38:11,820 --> 00:38:14,380 That piano guy, he was so creative. I'm not 487 00:38:14,800 --> 00:38:17,680 Elisabeth was so kind, I don't deserve it 488 00:38:19,080 --> 00:38:21,740 Jody was upfront, I can't be seen to be that rude 489 00:38:22,800 --> 00:38:24,776 Who am I in all this? 490 00:38:24,800 --> 00:38:26,776 I need to be myself as well you know? 491 00:38:26,800 --> 00:38:28,776 I see what you're saying but the thing is, 492 00:38:28,800 --> 00:38:32,100 if we were all completely open and honest with our friends all the time 493 00:38:33,160 --> 00:38:34,936 some of those friendships would seize to exist 494 00:38:34,960 --> 00:38:38,620 Exactly! So we need to find a way to embrace that openness 495 00:38:39,820 --> 00:38:44,320 not try and live at this plastic prison of pretense 496 00:38:44,800 --> 00:38:46,800 Plastic. I like that 497 00:38:48,160 --> 00:38:48,937 All right girls? 498 00:38:48,961 --> 00:38:50,080 Hello darling 499 00:38:50,160 --> 00:38:52,800 Don't mind me I'm just off to the gym 500 00:38:54,480 --> 00:38:56,320 Enjoy your play date 501 00:38:56,800 --> 00:38:58,800 Bay baay 502 00:38:59,900 --> 00:39:01,060 So where were we? 503 00:39:01,260 --> 00:39:04,260 Something about plastic people? 504 00:39:05,960 --> 00:39:08,180 Yeah I mean 505 00:39:08,340 --> 00:39:10,440 I feel like I need to 506 00:39:10,500 --> 00:39:12,800 I need to reset and start from scratch 507 00:39:14,500 --> 00:39:16,800 But I feel so fragile 508 00:39:18,300 --> 00:39:20,776 when you let go of your habitual ways it's like 509 00:39:20,800 --> 00:39:24,280 you turn into a baby who is acidentally a 25 year old 510 00:39:28,800 --> 00:39:32,720 It's meeting your true self that's so painful and sometimes awkward. 511 00:39:36,540 --> 00:39:38,800 That's when Carol nurtures me 512 00:39:40,000 --> 00:39:44,600 that's when she stays compassionate and firm at the same time 513 00:39:47,580 --> 00:39:49,000 man that's deep 514 00:39:49,460 --> 00:39:52,800 Yeah. It is 515 00:40:01,800 --> 00:40:03,760 Hi Peter it's Carol 516 00:40:06,900 --> 00:40:08,800 So, 517 00:40:10,280 --> 00:40:14,120 sitting here I.. 518 00:40:14,200 --> 00:40:17,780 Am very much left with our last meeting 519 00:40:18,800 --> 00:40:20,800 and with 520 00:40:23,500 --> 00:40:25,060 Julianne 521 00:40:25,760 --> 00:40:26,776 Yes 522 00:40:26,800 --> 00:40:30,620 I was a bit defensive last time we spoke about her 523 00:40:32,800 --> 00:40:34,800 I'm sure that you were concerned 524 00:40:36,880 --> 00:40:38,800 So please, 525 00:40:39,920 --> 00:40:41,700 tell me more about Julianne 526 00:40:43,700 --> 00:40:47,740 well she started to self harm when she found her father's letter 527 00:40:48,200 --> 00:40:52,720 but I feel the root of her problems stems way back to her mother's depression 528 00:40:52,800 --> 00:40:54,800 when Julianne was a baby 529 00:40:56,300 --> 00:40:58,020 she grew up with guilt 530 00:40:59,420 --> 00:41:02,180 a sense that she owed her existence to her mother. 531 00:41:02,800 --> 00:41:04,800 Who chose Julianne after her father 532 00:41:06,800 --> 00:41:10,116 a party mirrored her projections of her real self 533 00:41:10,140 --> 00:41:11,140 A party? 534 00:41:11,220 --> 00:41:12,400 Yes 535 00:41:12,500 --> 00:41:14,540 Her projections began to haunt her. 536 00:41:14,960 --> 00:41:18,776 As if they were going to kill her, but in actual fact.. 537 00:41:18,800 --> 00:41:22,180 I see where you're going with this Carol 538 00:41:22,800 --> 00:41:25,060 but it's just the way you talk about her 539 00:41:26,460 --> 00:41:32,120 there is something unsettling for me here 540 00:41:33,440 --> 00:41:40,720 is there some particular pull or confluence for you with Julliane 541 00:41:40,800 --> 00:41:44,936 in terms of your own unfinished business? 542 00:41:44,960 --> 00:41:46,400 My miscarriage 543 00:41:47,060 --> 00:41:55,060 I'm concerned that your longing for your lost girl is getting in the way of your ethical practise Carol 544 00:41:55,600 --> 00:41:56,377 Yes 545 00:41:56,401 --> 00:41:58,800 I am longing for my lost girl 546 00:41:59,200 --> 00:42:00,800 but it doesn't affect my work 547 00:42:02,160 --> 00:42:05,140 I think it does Carol 548 00:42:05,220 --> 00:42:11,640 it's clear to me that you are unable to gauge appropriate interventions with this client 549 00:42:12,580 --> 00:42:19,480 I think you are too sensitive to carry on working with Julianne at this stage. 550 00:42:19,720 --> 00:42:23,140 Especially with her alarming situtation 551 00:42:24,800 --> 00:42:27,840 I will have to consult with the ethics comitee about this 552 00:42:29,460 --> 00:42:31,630 You must understand 553 00:42:34,800 --> 00:42:36,776 He's just being a jerk 554 00:42:36,800 --> 00:42:38,776 I don't blame him totally 555 00:42:38,800 --> 00:42:40,776 It's a miysterious field 556 00:42:40,800 --> 00:42:42,800 unlike medicine 557 00:42:43,480 --> 00:42:44,880 Yeah I hear what you are saying 558 00:42:46,800 --> 00:42:52,340 I still can't understand why you guys can't sit down and talk about it with more reason 559 00:42:52,500 --> 00:42:55,560 You've been doing this for more than 15 years and so is he. 560 00:42:56,800 --> 00:42:58,800 It's all about the human soul and psyche 561 00:42:59,360 --> 00:43:00,800 messy 562 00:43:01,080 --> 00:43:02,980 But you love that aspect of it 563 00:43:05,540 --> 00:43:08,020 for the first time I'm worried about your career though 564 00:43:08,800 --> 00:43:10,800 I'll be fine 565 00:43:11,000 --> 00:43:14,160 There's no real danger in me continuing my private practise anyway 566 00:43:14,800 --> 00:43:16,100 Are you sure about that? 567 00:43:16,200 --> 00:43:21,440 Yeah. Just the ethics comitee still have to make a decision 568 00:43:26,800 --> 00:43:28,800 say something else before I go to sleep 569 00:43:29,800 --> 00:43:31,720 I don't want to dream about my supervisor 570 00:43:34,760 --> 00:43:36,040 Something else 571 00:43:36,200 --> 00:43:36,777 Ohhh 572 00:43:36,801 --> 00:43:38,800 very funny 573 00:43:39,660 --> 00:43:40,800 good night 574 00:44:28,800 --> 00:44:32,800 You're so bad, you're so bad! 575 00:44:34,200 --> 00:44:35,260 You're so naughty 576 00:44:40,340 --> 00:44:41,340 What? 577 00:44:44,440 --> 00:44:46,080 Untie me! 578 00:44:48,420 --> 00:44:53,640 Untie you sweety but, I don't see any ropes 579 00:44:54,540 --> 00:44:55,336 my legs! 580 00:44:55,360 --> 00:44:56,680 "My legs" 581 00:45:03,360 --> 00:45:04,600 This is a nightmare 582 00:45:04,680 --> 00:45:06,000 Ohh "this is a nightmare" 583 00:45:06,440 --> 00:45:07,620 I'll close my eyes 584 00:45:07,740 --> 00:45:10,800 and when I open them again, it will all be gone 585 00:45:12,800 --> 00:45:16,060 Ohh we both know that isn't true don't we? 586 00:45:23,730 --> 00:45:24,930 It's not a dream 587 00:45:25,280 --> 00:45:26,800 It's happening! 588 00:45:35,080 --> 00:45:36,800 "It's not a dream" 589 00:46:42,800 --> 00:46:44,800 I've got something to tell you 590 00:47:02,460 --> 00:47:04,800 I have something to tell you 591 00:47:07,300 --> 00:47:08,800 I have something to say 592 00:47:10,800 --> 00:47:12,776 It's not going to be easy 593 00:47:12,800 --> 00:47:14,800 but I'll just say it 594 00:47:16,800 --> 00:47:18,800 I don't want to come anymore 595 00:47:20,560 --> 00:47:22,800 it's quite sudden 596 00:47:23,430 --> 00:47:24,776 I'm surprised and 597 00:47:24,800 --> 00:47:26,800 well, curious 598 00:47:28,800 --> 00:47:32,920 Well, I'm not sure what we're doing here is actually helping me 599 00:47:33,260 --> 00:47:34,800 I do feel different 600 00:47:35,400 --> 00:47:38,400 something did change from the very first day I came to see you 601 00:47:40,460 --> 00:47:42,776 I don't cut myself that much 602 00:47:42,800 --> 00:47:44,800 almost never 603 00:47:45,300 --> 00:47:50,060 I feel more pain but also more energy 604 00:47:52,800 --> 00:47:54,776 but then again 605 00:47:54,800 --> 00:47:56,800 this is what scares me 606 00:47:57,560 --> 00:47:58,776 this? 607 00:47:58,800 --> 00:48:00,776 This change 608 00:48:00,800 --> 00:48:02,800 my dreams are move vivid and 609 00:48:03,230 --> 00:48:04,800 strange 610 00:48:05,680 --> 00:48:09,840 I'm sleepwalking even more than I used to 611 00:48:10,180 --> 00:48:12,800 Before we decide wether you want to go on with me or not 612 00:48:13,960 --> 00:48:18,540 shall we talk more about your dreams and your fear? 613 00:48:20,560 --> 00:48:22,800 Of course 614 00:48:25,500 --> 00:48:26,800 I was raped last night 615 00:48:34,800 --> 00:48:36,776 And it.. 616 00:48:36,800 --> 00:48:38,800 It was so real 617 00:48:40,080 --> 00:48:42,840 I can't even begin to tell you how I felt 618 00:48:44,120 --> 00:48:45,840 Do you know who it was? 619 00:48:46,160 --> 00:48:48,776 Lara's boyfriend 620 00:48:48,800 --> 00:48:50,800 so not anyone from the party then this time 621 00:48:51,920 --> 00:48:53,860 No but this was worse 622 00:48:53,980 --> 00:48:56,800 it was disgusting and it was 623 00:48:59,260 --> 00:49:00,776 unacceptable 624 00:49:00,800 --> 00:49:02,776 you mean the rape of course 625 00:49:02,800 --> 00:49:04,776 no I don't mean the rape 626 00:49:04,800 --> 00:49:07,000 Ok. I'm listening 627 00:49:12,360 --> 00:49:15,860 Towards the end of my dream 628 00:49:15,920 --> 00:49:21,240 I went crazy and I started laughing and enjoying myself 629 00:49:22,800 --> 00:49:24,800 so it wasn't rape after all then 630 00:49:25,640 --> 00:49:28,020 well it was in the beginning 631 00:49:28,120 --> 00:49:28,777 but 632 00:49:28,801 --> 00:49:31,440 then I could move my arms and my legs 633 00:49:32,800 --> 00:49:34,800 but I didn't resist 634 00:49:35,940 --> 00:49:36,940 I felt sort of 635 00:49:38,800 --> 00:49:41,700 free and happy 636 00:49:42,800 --> 00:49:44,776 and mad. 637 00:49:44,800 --> 00:49:46,776 Mad 638 00:49:46,800 --> 00:49:48,800 how does it make you feel now_? 639 00:49:53,800 --> 00:49:55,476 Pregnant 640 00:49:55,500 --> 00:49:57,380 and horrible 641 00:49:58,060 --> 00:49:59,380 pregnant? 642 00:50:00,800 --> 00:50:03,920 I'm scared. I can't go on with this 643 00:50:04,040 --> 00:50:06,776 I really hear your struggle Julianne. 644 00:50:06,800 --> 00:50:09,336 I can only imagine how difficult it must be 645 00:50:09,360 --> 00:50:11,336 for you to trust in 646 00:50:11,360 --> 00:50:13,336 such a painful process 647 00:50:13,360 --> 00:50:16,000 without knowing how or where it will end. 648 00:50:18,120 --> 00:50:19,960 I don't want to carry on with this 649 00:50:21,260 --> 00:50:22,800 The bad news is 650 00:50:23,380 --> 00:50:26,960 Once you are aware there is no turning back 651 00:50:27,540 --> 00:50:28,540 but 652 00:50:29,180 --> 00:50:32,960 if you stay with it, with enough support 653 00:50:33,100 --> 00:50:35,040 you will be nourished 654 00:50:35,120 --> 00:50:36,800 what awareness? 655 00:50:37,500 --> 00:50:38,800 Lara's boyfriend 656 00:50:39,880 --> 00:50:40,880 the rape 657 00:50:40,980 --> 00:50:44,080 I don't think this was just plainly sexual 658 00:50:45,800 --> 00:50:47,540 Do you remember Samantha's visions? 659 00:50:48,520 --> 00:50:50,800 You made piece with her the more we worked on it 660 00:50:51,780 --> 00:50:55,000 she became you and you became her 661 00:50:55,080 --> 00:50:58,620 and only then were you able to critisize my hair and my office 662 00:51:00,620 --> 00:51:04,220 you were able to tell Lara that she wasn't relating to you without losing it 663 00:51:05,360 --> 00:51:08,240 you felt OK about complaining 664 00:51:08,440 --> 00:51:11,620 Samantha. She was there in the dream 665 00:51:12,800 --> 00:51:15,780 She was making out with Frank 666 00:51:17,080 --> 00:51:20,440 I really think something is trying to get your attention here Julianne 667 00:51:21,960 --> 00:51:23,720 It's almost symbolic 668 00:51:24,360 --> 00:51:26,920 like something is being born 669 00:51:28,360 --> 00:51:30,776 Frank is your best friend's lover 670 00:51:30,800 --> 00:51:32,776 that's hard for you to get a handle on it 671 00:51:32,800 --> 00:51:34,776 it takes courage 672 00:51:34,800 --> 00:51:36,776 it's too new 673 00:51:36,800 --> 00:51:38,796 too unfamiliar 674 00:51:38,820 --> 00:51:41,640 You're right. I can't handle it 675 00:51:42,800 --> 00:51:44,800 nor do I want to 676 00:51:45,600 --> 00:51:49,700 It's hard to let you go at this point Julianne 677 00:51:51,620 --> 00:51:54,580 especially when you've come such a long way 678 00:51:56,200 --> 00:51:57,280 but 679 00:51:57,660 --> 00:51:59,140 I'm not gonna stop you this time 680 00:52:00,440 --> 00:52:02,776 not like our first meeting 681 00:52:02,800 --> 00:52:04,800 but I want you to know 682 00:52:05,540 --> 00:52:08,440 I genuinely support your struggle 683 00:52:09,060 --> 00:52:10,800 Ok 684 00:52:12,360 --> 00:52:14,300 Thank you Carol 685 00:52:24,100 --> 00:52:25,920 What did Elisabeth look like? 686 00:52:25,960 --> 00:52:28,800 Did she have reddish hair? Short in her 70s. 687 00:52:30,800 --> 00:52:32,800 Evet ama 688 00:52:33,340 --> 00:52:35,660 Why? Did you meet her? 689 00:52:37,720 --> 00:52:39,320 It's difficult to explain 690 00:52:40,620 --> 00:52:42,800 She said she had something to tell me 691 00:52:43,620 --> 00:52:44,920 What? 692 00:52:45,160 --> 00:52:46,800 I don't know 693 00:52:47,380 --> 00:52:48,776 I woke up 694 00:52:48,800 --> 00:52:50,800 What? She was in your dream? 695 00:52:51,080 --> 00:52:52,800 Yes 696 00:52:54,800 --> 00:52:56,776 I don't understand 697 00:52:56,800 --> 00:52:58,800 I don't understand either 698 00:53:01,340 --> 00:53:02,800 I had an image of us, 699 00:53:03,140 --> 00:53:05,580 when you walked in, you were trying to leave 700 00:53:06,260 --> 00:53:08,800 We were wrestling 701 00:53:09,130 --> 00:53:10,776 Wrestling? 702 00:53:10,800 --> 00:53:12,800 Yes 703 00:53:13,920 --> 00:53:14,920 Do you want to try it? 704 00:53:16,980 --> 00:53:18,800 As much as you can 705 00:53:32,040 --> 00:53:34,040 I could do this all day 706 00:53:46,800 --> 00:53:49,500 No, no, it's just that she is not usually late 707 00:53:49,560 --> 00:53:50,840 Not to worry 708 00:53:51,100 --> 00:53:53,240 the piccadilly line is slow anyway 709 00:53:53,420 --> 00:53:55,540 No, no she usually calls 710 00:53:55,900 --> 00:53:58,420 Mmm! This wine is amazing! 711 00:53:58,800 --> 00:54:00,800 Hello darling! There she is 712 00:54:03,200 --> 00:54:05,460 How long since we last saw each other ha? 713 00:54:05,820 --> 00:54:08,080 Don't let her hug you, she'll probably break your bones 714 00:54:08,800 --> 00:54:10,800 Oh shut up, come on 715 00:54:32,800 --> 00:54:34,776 Hello 716 00:54:34,800 --> 00:54:36,800 Yes, this is she 717 00:54:41,460 --> 00:54:42,800 Sorry? 718 00:54:47,130 --> 00:54:48,800 Oh 719 00:55:02,800 --> 00:55:04,800 Sorry I was just I'm just 720 00:55:06,800 --> 00:55:08,800 What? 721 00:55:09,230 --> 00:55:10,776 Here? 722 00:55:10,800 --> 00:55:12,776 Now? 723 00:55:12,800 --> 00:55:14,800 How did you even.. 724 00:55:41,130 --> 00:55:42,800 What do you want? 725 00:55:44,240 --> 00:55:47,200 Please Julianne, I just want to see you 726 00:55:48,800 --> 00:55:50,800 Why? 727 00:55:51,620 --> 00:55:53,340 There is something I have to tell you 728 00:55:54,100 --> 00:55:55,640 I have to say something to you 729 00:56:00,760 --> 00:56:02,776 Does mum know you're here? 730 00:56:02,800 --> 00:56:04,776 Nobody knows 731 00:56:04,800 --> 00:56:06,800 Please Julianne 732 00:56:12,800 --> 00:56:14,776 So dear tell me 733 00:56:14,800 --> 00:56:16,776 How is the practise going? 734 00:56:16,800 --> 00:56:18,776 Darling, you know you can't 735 00:56:18,800 --> 00:56:20,776 Thanks Richard 736 00:56:20,800 --> 00:56:22,776 I'm not really a fan of talking about my work 737 00:56:22,800 --> 00:56:24,776 but it's fine 738 00:56:24,800 --> 00:56:26,776 I'm sorry, I just want to know how everything is 739 00:56:26,800 --> 00:56:28,800 everything including 740 00:56:29,900 --> 00:56:31,860 but it's Ok if you don't want to talk about it 741 00:56:31,930 --> 00:56:34,936 No no, it's fine. It's still the same as you saw me 7 years ago when I first accredited 742 00:56:34,960 --> 00:56:38,776 Oh what a time that was 743 00:56:38,800 --> 00:56:40,776 Actually, I'm enjoying it even more 744 00:56:40,800 --> 00:56:44,120 Although sometimes the practicalities are a bit you know.. 745 00:56:48,800 --> 00:56:51,820 It's so good to see you without hiding for once 746 00:56:54,120 --> 00:56:56,800 So this is my girl 747 00:57:01,260 --> 00:57:02,776 I know 748 00:57:02,800 --> 00:57:04,800 nothing I say is gonna make things any better 749 00:57:05,320 --> 00:57:08,160 Do you also know that what you're doing is actually making things worse 750 00:57:09,880 --> 00:57:12,020 Just give me 5 minutes 751 00:57:14,800 --> 00:57:16,800 Do you have a favorite client? 752 00:57:17,460 --> 00:57:20,640 Darling, that's like asking if you have a favorite child 753 00:57:21,860 --> 00:57:24,540 It is a difficult question Richard I agree 754 00:57:25,460 --> 00:57:27,760 Although 755 00:57:29,000 --> 00:57:31,720 I do have a favorite client 756 00:57:32,660 --> 00:57:34,776 I couldn't let go 757 00:57:34,800 --> 00:57:36,800 I missed your mother so much 758 00:57:38,800 --> 00:57:40,776 But we were so very young 759 00:57:40,800 --> 00:57:42,800 I know the story you don't have to repeat it 760 00:57:44,520 --> 00:57:46,800 What do you want 761 00:57:46,900 --> 00:57:48,776 I wanted to tell you 762 00:57:48,800 --> 00:57:51,540 that none of this was your fault 763 00:57:52,420 --> 00:57:54,800 or your mother's 764 00:57:55,140 --> 00:57:56,776 it was love 765 00:57:56,800 --> 00:57:58,800 stupid love 766 00:57:59,280 --> 00:58:02,460 we were imprisoned as teenagers 767 00:58:03,560 --> 00:58:05,500 but you 768 00:58:07,380 --> 00:58:09,700 you never had any say in any of this 769 00:58:10,800 --> 00:58:12,776 I guess I just 770 00:58:12,800 --> 00:58:14,800 wanted to apologise 771 00:58:16,800 --> 00:58:19,620 and tell you I'll never forgive myself 772 00:58:26,800 --> 00:58:28,800 Goodbye Julianne 773 00:58:29,500 --> 00:58:32,130 I won't be following you anymore 774 00:58:34,800 --> 00:58:36,800 I just want to give you this 775 00:58:38,800 --> 00:58:41,380 I'm not taking this. I'm not taking anything from.. 776 00:58:41,920 --> 00:58:44,776 Please, just watch it and then decide 777 00:58:44,800 --> 00:58:46,800 What is this? 778 00:58:47,420 --> 00:58:49,040 This is you 779 00:58:50,240 --> 00:58:52,800 Right from your first years 780 00:58:53,160 --> 00:58:54,800 I've always been there 781 00:58:56,240 --> 00:58:57,580 like a shadow 782 00:58:58,800 --> 00:58:59,936 watching you 783 00:58:59,960 --> 00:59:02,060 I don't want to hear anything please 784 00:59:02,120 --> 00:59:04,800 Please. Please just take it 785 00:59:06,800 --> 00:59:08,800 Goodbye Julianne 786 00:59:10,800 --> 00:59:12,800 I've always loved you 787 00:59:18,800 --> 00:59:20,800 Dad 788 00:59:22,800 --> 00:59:24,800 What's that in your bag? 789 00:59:26,800 --> 00:59:28,776 Nothing, nothing baby 790 00:59:28,800 --> 00:59:30,000 I have to go 791 00:59:30,060 --> 00:59:31,380 I'm calling the police 792 00:59:31,420 --> 00:59:34,776 No Julianne no. I'm not going to hurt anyone 793 00:59:34,800 --> 00:59:36,776 Yeah. As if I will trust you 794 00:59:36,800 --> 00:59:38,776 Julianne please. Julianne? 795 00:59:38,800 --> 00:59:40,776 Stop it, stop it 796 00:59:40,800 --> 00:59:42,776 Stop it 797 00:59:42,800 --> 00:59:44,800 Fucking god, stop it! 798 00:59:45,640 --> 00:59:47,000 Stay back 799 00:59:47,200 --> 00:59:48,776 Julianne please put the gun down 800 00:59:48,800 --> 00:59:50,776 please, look 801 00:59:50,800 --> 00:59:52,776 I'll give you your phone back 802 00:59:52,800 --> 00:59:54,776 please put the gun down 803 00:59:54,800 --> 00:59:56,776 give me the gun back Julianne 804 00:59:56,800 --> 00:59:58,776 Stay back! 805 00:59:58,800 --> 01:00:00,776 Or I will shoot you 806 01:00:00,800 --> 01:00:02,776 I'll shoot you in the arm 807 01:00:02,800 --> 01:00:04,800 it won't kill you, but it will hurt 808 01:00:06,800 --> 01:00:08,776 and then I'll call the police 809 01:00:08,800 --> 01:00:12,440 and you can explain to them, what the hell you're doing here with a gun 810 01:00:14,080 --> 01:00:16,800 or you can explain it to me now 811 01:00:19,580 --> 01:00:20,800 no? 812 01:00:21,540 --> 01:00:22,800 Fine 813 01:00:23,230 --> 01:00:24,800 don't you dare! 814 01:00:28,280 --> 01:00:29,280 Hello 815 01:00:30,800 --> 01:00:32,776 Darling, thank you so much 816 01:00:32,800 --> 01:00:34,776 Bye Bob thank you 817 01:00:34,800 --> 01:00:36,776 it was absolutely fantastic 818 01:00:36,800 --> 01:00:38,776 thank you so much 819 01:00:38,800 --> 01:00:40,776 love the wine 820 01:00:40,800 --> 01:00:42,776 absolutely gorgeous 821 01:00:42,800 --> 01:00:44,776 I'll give you a call next week yeah? 822 01:00:44,800 --> 01:00:46,776 I'll be waiting 823 01:00:46,800 --> 01:00:48,776 Okay safe journey 824 01:00:48,800 --> 01:00:50,776 byee 825 01:00:50,800 --> 01:00:52,776 Stop it! 826 01:00:52,800 --> 01:00:53,940 Oh fucking 827 01:00:54,800 --> 01:00:56,776 Julianne, Jullianne, Julianne 828 01:00:56,800 --> 01:00:58,776 This is meant for me 829 01:00:58,800 --> 01:01:00,800 I need to end this 830 01:01:01,900 --> 01:01:04,776 this is best for everybody. Please let me do this 831 01:01:04,800 --> 01:01:06,800 Stop it 832 01:01:07,740 --> 01:01:10,500 you ruined my life you fucking 833 01:01:20,800 --> 01:01:22,776 I had too much wine 834 01:01:22,800 --> 01:01:24,776 oh 835 01:01:24,800 --> 01:01:26,800 Honey I'm so proud of you 836 01:01:26,980 --> 01:01:27,756 What? 837 01:01:27,780 --> 01:01:30,400 The way you talked about your client. 838 01:01:30,460 --> 01:01:32,776 You really put your heart and soul into it 839 01:01:32,800 --> 01:01:34,776 Did you see Richard? 840 01:01:34,800 --> 01:01:36,776 I haven't seen him teary eyed in my life 841 01:01:36,800 --> 01:01:38,776 and we've been friends since med school 842 01:01:38,800 --> 01:01:40,800 Trust me, if you don't cry then 843 01:01:41,160 --> 01:01:42,800 you never will 844 01:01:43,180 --> 01:01:45,760 Ohh it's very sweet of you 845 01:01:46,800 --> 01:01:48,776 Oh I gotta go to bed immediately 846 01:01:48,800 --> 01:01:53,760 or you are gonna cry over the puke that's gonna come over the carpet that you paid for 847 01:01:55,920 --> 01:01:58,800 Oh I can't even speak any English 848 01:01:59,380 --> 01:02:02,640 I can only speak wine language 849 01:02:04,800 --> 01:02:06,800 I gotta go to bed 850 01:02:25,220 --> 01:02:26,800 Julianne! 851 01:03:22,800 --> 01:03:24,800 No! 852 01:03:25,240 --> 01:03:26,900 Can! 853 01:03:26,980 --> 01:03:28,800 Can 854 01:03:40,540 --> 01:03:42,800 Little girl 855 01:03:43,500 --> 01:03:45,360 What are you doing here all alone? 856 01:03:47,620 --> 01:03:48,940 What's your name? 857 01:03:48,980 --> 01:03:50,800 Sandy 858 01:03:51,480 --> 01:03:52,800 Sandy 859 01:03:54,800 --> 01:03:56,800 Where is your mummy Sandy? 860 01:04:00,240 --> 01:04:01,580 Do you know? 861 01:04:03,760 --> 01:04:05,580 What's her name? 862 01:04:06,800 --> 01:04:08,800 Carol 863 01:04:13,740 --> 01:04:15,180 Can 864 01:04:19,880 --> 01:04:21,280 Carol? 865 01:04:23,920 --> 01:04:26,160 Why am I here? 866 01:04:26,420 --> 01:04:28,636 To meet you 867 01:04:28,660 --> 01:04:30,800 No 868 01:04:32,800 --> 01:04:34,776 I'm sorry 869 01:04:34,800 --> 01:04:36,776 come with me 870 01:04:36,800 --> 01:04:38,800 Why? Where? 871 01:04:39,840 --> 01:04:41,800 Over there 872 01:04:43,600 --> 01:04:44,800 No 873 01:04:45,980 --> 01:04:48,960 Just trust me 874 01:05:12,120 --> 01:05:13,860 This is mum! 875 01:05:18,800 --> 01:05:20,800 And that is your dad 876 01:05:41,680 --> 01:05:46,100 This is how your body met isolation 877 01:05:49,680 --> 01:05:51,340 it looks so real 878 01:05:52,400 --> 01:05:54,800 it is real 879 01:05:58,940 --> 01:06:02,260 this is how you adapted to pain 880 01:06:11,260 --> 01:06:14,060 this is how you left your dreams 881 01:06:43,930 --> 01:06:46,180 Julianne! 882 01:06:46,800 --> 01:06:50,130 Blame me for not telling you the truth 883 01:06:50,800 --> 01:06:52,330 for the feelings I had 884 01:06:52,800 --> 01:06:54,776 while you grew inside me 885 01:06:54,800 --> 01:06:56,800 I never regret having you for a second 886 01:07:02,060 --> 01:07:04,360 I've always been there 887 01:07:04,800 --> 01:07:06,800 like a shadow 888 01:07:07,260 --> 01:07:09,460 watching you 889 01:07:13,460 --> 01:07:15,460 Goodbye Julianne 890 01:07:17,660 --> 01:07:19,230 I've always loved you 891 01:07:22,800 --> 01:07:24,776 35 Bollo Bridge Road 892 01:07:24,800 --> 01:07:26,200 I'll get there before the ambulance 893 01:07:26,300 --> 01:07:27,780 What's going on? 894 01:07:27,860 --> 01:07:31,340 Oh Bob, there's been an emergency, I have to go 895 01:07:31,400 --> 01:07:32,776 What? What emergency? 896 01:07:32,800 --> 01:07:34,776 It's one of my clients 897 01:07:34,800 --> 01:07:36,240 I haven't got time to explain 898 01:07:36,280 --> 01:07:37,396 Honey you can't just leave like this 899 01:07:37,420 --> 01:07:38,656 Oh please Bob I haven't got time to.. 900 01:07:38,680 --> 01:07:39,206 I just want to understand... 901 01:07:39,230 --> 01:07:39,616 BOB! 902 01:07:39,640 --> 01:07:40,136 What? 903 01:07:40,160 --> 01:07:40,960 Do you trust me? 904 01:07:41,040 --> 01:07:42,056 Of course I do what do you mean? 905 01:07:42,080 --> 01:07:43,920 Then come with me. I need your help 906 01:07:43,960 --> 01:07:45,340 Bob please 907 01:07:46,460 --> 01:07:48,156 999 what service please? 908 01:07:48,180 --> 01:07:54,060 Hello. This is Carol Ashley. I need an ambulance immediately to go to 35 Bollo Bridge Road. 909 01:07:54,140 --> 01:07:58,776 Honey wait, I mean, who called you? I never even heard the phone go 910 01:07:58,800 --> 01:08:00,100 It wasn't a phone 911 01:08:00,340 --> 01:08:01,596 I just know that she's in trouble 912 01:08:01,620 --> 01:08:04,160 Carol! I'm getting really worried now 913 01:08:04,480 --> 01:08:06,580 I know you said you had too much wine but I never 914 01:08:06,680 --> 01:08:08,796 Bob! Will you just stop? 915 01:08:08,820 --> 01:08:11,160 Please. I need you to trust me 916 01:08:11,200 --> 01:08:14,180 no but how can I? You're out in the middle of the night with your pygamas, 917 01:08:14,260 --> 01:08:15,840 dragging me along and what for? 918 01:08:16,000 --> 01:08:19,520 Because you know she's in trouble? 919 01:08:23,160 --> 01:08:24,800 Are you coming? 920 01:08:30,580 --> 01:08:32,800 Carol! 921 01:08:37,100 --> 01:08:38,776 Excuse me! Excuse me! 922 01:08:38,800 --> 01:08:41,840 Hey calm down 923 01:08:41,880 --> 01:08:42,880 Who the hell are you? 924 01:08:42,960 --> 01:08:44,776 I'm Julie's therapist 925 01:08:44,800 --> 01:08:46,776 I think she, I think she might be.. 926 01:08:46,800 --> 01:08:48,776 Did she call you? Why are you here? 927 01:08:48,800 --> 01:08:50,800 She text me saying her dad was here and.. 928 01:08:51,180 --> 01:08:53,500 Oh! We need to open this door! 929 01:09:07,540 --> 01:09:08,776 What are you doing? 930 01:09:08,800 --> 01:09:10,776 Wake up! 931 01:09:10,800 --> 01:09:12,620 What is happening? 932 01:09:12,660 --> 01:09:14,800 Wake up! 933 01:10:25,580 --> 01:10:26,800 Hello Julianne 934 01:10:29,130 --> 01:10:30,776 My name is Zachary 935 01:10:30,800 --> 01:10:32,776 I'm a detective 936 01:10:32,800 --> 01:10:34,800 Where is he? 937 01:10:35,240 --> 01:10:36,800 Is he dead? 938 01:10:39,100 --> 01:10:40,800 He did it didn't he? 939 01:10:43,200 --> 01:10:44,800 Yes Julianne. He is dead 940 01:10:48,400 --> 01:10:48,776 look 941 01:10:48,800 --> 01:10:51,000 I know this is not a good time to come to you with this 942 01:10:53,640 --> 01:10:56,800 but we need to understand what happened there Julianne 943 01:11:04,800 --> 01:11:05,720 Julianne 944 01:11:05,780 --> 01:11:07,400 Does mum know? 945 01:11:07,460 --> 01:11:08,500 Yes. She does 946 01:11:08,560 --> 01:11:12,800 How is she? Can I see her? 947 01:11:14,380 --> 01:11:15,620 She's outside 948 01:11:15,980 --> 01:11:18,480 She can see you as soon as I'm done here 949 01:11:20,600 --> 01:11:23,040 Julianne I need to understand why you fought with your father 950 01:11:25,560 --> 01:11:27,120 I tried to stop him 951 01:11:28,800 --> 01:11:30,800 but I couldn't 952 01:11:32,800 --> 01:11:34,800 you can blame me for that 953 01:11:37,200 --> 01:11:38,800 but I won't 954 01:11:40,380 --> 01:11:42,800 not anymore 955 01:11:45,740 --> 01:11:47,180 Do you have children? 956 01:11:48,420 --> 01:11:49,560 No I don't 957 01:11:50,800 --> 01:11:52,776 A father? 958 01:11:52,800 --> 01:11:54,800 That I do 959 01:11:55,440 --> 01:11:57,400 I had one too 960 01:11:59,380 --> 01:12:02,800 not the one who just killed himself and shot me 961 01:12:03,230 --> 01:12:05,860 that one loved me 962 01:12:06,800 --> 01:12:08,800 I could see it in his eyes 963 01:12:09,300 --> 01:12:11,300 hear it in his voice 964 01:12:12,360 --> 01:12:14,800 but I didn't recognize that man 965 01:12:16,800 --> 01:12:18,776 I'm more familiar with the one that 966 01:12:18,800 --> 01:12:20,800 left me and my mum 967 01:12:22,800 --> 01:12:24,800 the one who didn't care 968 01:12:26,320 --> 01:12:27,920 I see 969 01:12:28,460 --> 01:12:31,600 Do you know what is most dangerous in this life detective? 970 01:12:31,660 --> 01:12:34,000 Oh I hope to have an idea by now 971 01:12:35,800 --> 01:12:37,620 Probably not 972 01:12:40,020 --> 01:12:42,800 It's not the guns detective 973 01:12:43,140 --> 01:12:44,800 It's love 974 01:12:47,260 --> 01:12:49,360 Look where love led my father 975 01:12:52,800 --> 01:12:54,800 test people with it 976 01:12:55,480 --> 01:12:57,740 and guns will come out 977 01:12:58,040 --> 01:12:59,500 is that what happened here? 978 01:12:59,740 --> 01:13:00,960 Precisely. 979 01:13:01,040 --> 01:13:02,320 So you admit you killed your.. 980 01:13:02,380 --> 01:13:03,380 I admit 981 01:13:03,440 --> 01:13:07,980 that the gun my father brought to my house was a consequence of his love 982 01:13:09,260 --> 01:13:11,320 and me trying to stop him 983 01:13:11,820 --> 01:13:14,800 was also out of love 984 01:13:15,260 --> 01:13:16,776 Julianne I didn't come here to.. 985 01:13:16,800 --> 01:13:18,800 I know you came here for answers detective 986 01:13:21,880 --> 01:13:24,380 but this is all I can offer you 987 01:13:24,800 --> 01:13:26,800 You can charge me 988 01:13:27,140 --> 01:13:28,800 lock me up 989 01:13:29,700 --> 01:13:31,940 I will be at peace 990 01:13:32,880 --> 01:13:34,800 How so? 991 01:13:34,900 --> 01:13:37,580 I finally met my true self 992 01:13:38,220 --> 01:13:40,800 Look at my eyes detective 993 01:13:42,800 --> 01:13:44,800 I did not kill my father 994 01:13:46,940 --> 01:13:48,800 Do your searching 995 01:13:49,880 --> 01:13:51,600 Do your investigation 996 01:13:53,120 --> 01:13:55,280 but don't forget to add to all that lot 997 01:13:55,380 --> 01:13:58,800 what you see in my eyes 998 01:14:00,800 --> 01:14:02,800 you are a good person detective 999 01:14:04,160 --> 01:14:06,800 I'm glad we met 1000 01:14:12,600 --> 01:14:14,660 I do have a favorite client 1001 01:14:16,660 --> 01:14:18,660 Therapy is all about connection 1002 01:14:20,060 --> 01:14:24,920 My connection with her feels like it started before we even met 1003 01:14:29,060 --> 01:14:30,800 through her longing 1004 01:14:30,930 --> 01:14:37,180 she helped me to embrace my own wound and my own grief 1005 01:14:40,900 --> 01:14:47,080 my lost child, whom I never talk about 1006 01:14:50,600 --> 01:14:53,530 every wound is an unfinished business 1007 01:14:54,060 --> 01:14:58,320 until they're processed deeply, truly 1008 01:15:04,030 --> 01:15:07,330 You know how they say things are connected in mysterious ways 1009 01:15:07,960 --> 01:15:10,000 ways we don't know of 1010 01:15:10,360 --> 01:15:12,930 we may never understand 1011 01:15:17,400 --> 01:15:18,930 One thing I know though 1012 01:15:19,400 --> 01:15:21,430 the more we can connect to this world 1013 01:15:21,530 --> 01:15:23,460 with fullness with our whole being 1014 01:15:23,530 --> 01:15:26,700 the more we shine 1015 01:15:49,200 --> 01:15:51,176 Long, 1016 01:15:51,200 --> 01:15:54,500 long, long, long 1017 01:15:55,200 --> 01:16:00,630 think of a corridor 1018 01:16:01,300 --> 01:16:07,576 Step by step, step by step 1019 01:16:07,600 --> 01:16:13,200 A strike that I went to 1020 01:16:13,830 --> 01:16:19,360 from myself, 1021 01:16:19,730 --> 01:16:22,330 and from you 1022 01:16:22,730 --> 01:16:28,260 the most beautiful things that happened to me 1023 01:16:29,200 --> 01:16:31,200 from my mind 1024 01:16:33,630 --> 01:16:35,900 from my thoughts 1025 01:16:40,100 --> 01:16:48,100 You have never existed anyway 1026 01:17:03,200 --> 01:17:05,176 Slowly, 1027 01:17:05,200 --> 01:17:07,176 slowly, slowly 1028 01:17:07,200 --> 01:17:09,176 slowly 1029 01:17:09,200 --> 01:17:13,760 think I'm gone 1030 01:17:15,200 --> 01:17:17,200 Heavy, 1031 01:17:17,800 --> 01:17:21,460 heavy, heavy, heavy 1032 01:17:22,100 --> 01:17:27,030 while decreasing my load 1033 01:17:28,000 --> 01:17:30,230 from your shoulder 1034 01:17:33,200 --> 01:17:36,330 from your chest 1035 01:17:36,760 --> 01:17:39,176 Remaining behind 1036 01:17:39,200 --> 01:17:42,530 the most beautiful days 1037 01:17:43,360 --> 01:17:46,960 from my love, 1038 01:17:47,860 --> 01:17:52,630 from my life 1039 01:17:53,930 --> 01:18:01,930 you have never existed anyway 1040 01:18:35,700 --> 01:18:41,660 you have never existed anyway