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[ Water bubbling ]

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Downloaded from
YTS.MX

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[ Down-tempo music plays ]

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Official YIFY movies site:
YTS.MX

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♪♪

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Joe:
Hello.

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My name is Joe Pera.

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And don't worry.

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No one turned me
into a cardinal fish.

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I just gave myself a bad haircut
and prefer you watch

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this aquarium footage
I had saved instead.

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Well, not so much saved
as unused --

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much of it
because it's too relaxing.

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[ Waves breaking,
birds chirping ]

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♪♪

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Kind of reflects
how I'm feeling right now,

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but it's also pretty calming
to watch.

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Right?

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I figured that to not share it

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in times like these
would be wrong,

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and so I assembled
the best of it here for you.

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It's a little more casual
than usual,

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but if just one nurse
can come home

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and watch it to fall asleep,
it'll be worth it.

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♪♪

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I mean, I can't think
of a much better use

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for my footage of a clay pot...

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...or this coffee pot...

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...and these trees.

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[ Birds chirping ]

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It's a shame that we couldn't
find a place for them

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before now.

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But I have learned that people
mostly want to watch shows

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about people,
so I tried to respect that.

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Someday, though, I'll make
a program with only trees.

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Maybe even start
my own network -- Tree TV.

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No people.
Just trees.

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Maybe every now and then we'd
show an NBA game, but that's it.

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I can't be the only one who'd
prefer to watch Old Tjikko,

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a 9,000-year-old spruce,
after reading the news.

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♪♪

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The downside is that my network
won't provide much opportunity

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for human actors.

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But as we reassess
what is essential,

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I wonder if actors are.

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Well, there are
definitely two --

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Ed Harris and Elizabeth Hurley.

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Last week, I watched
"Austin Powers"

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for the first time in 10 years,
and it holds up very well --

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a complete send-up of spy films

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and one of the things
that makes me laugh most.

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And Elizabeth Hurley
is the perfect straight man

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to Austin Powers.

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She's one of the few people
who can rein him in,

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and that is no small feat.

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Can you imagine
if it were only Austin Powers?

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It would be chaos.

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A town where all the stoplights
are green --

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fun to imagine
but in real life fatal.

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Also, she's one of the only
people in the movie

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not played by Austin Powers.

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It's just too bad
that in the second film

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she turned out to be a fembot.

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It was distressing to me

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and made dating hard
for a long time.

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Not the robot part.

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Just imagine falling for someone
who then tried to kill you.

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But instead of going down
that path,

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why don't I give you
some good news?

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Tree TV is considered
is considering a merger

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with Waterfall TV.

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And I'd say it was
pretty likely,

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'cause I am the CEO of both.

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♪♪

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Look at this.

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[ Mid-tempo music plays ]

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Trees on the move.

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♪♪

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Just as I could endlessly look
out a car window,

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I could endlessly watch
this footage

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of looking out of a car window.

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It's conducive to thinking.

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It helps the mind wander freely.

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♪♪

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♪♪

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♪♪

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I recently discovered
a great simple recipe

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I'd like to share with you.

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It's called maple syrup toast.

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Basically you take
a slice of bread, toast it,

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and then cover it
in real maple syrup.

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If you do it just right,
it's better than a steak for me.

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Not only that,
but you can eat it

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for up to two meals a day
without getting sick.

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The syrup is energy.

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Just please don't eat it
while you're driving.

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It's so good, you might crash.

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Sometimes simple meals
are the best.

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Like two apples.
Me and my friends know this.

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♪♪

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That's the one.

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You're a nice girl.

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♪♪

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♪♪

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There's some more footage
of fish I'm excited to show you,

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but I wanted to show you this
first --

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not because my old idea
to use empty baseball diamonds

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for outdoor church
is more relevant than ever.

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It's just nice to watch
the grounds keeper lay down

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the chalk lines.

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He's giving boundary
to the boundaryless,

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and it's kind of comforting
to watch in these times.

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Steady.

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Steady.
[ Down-tempo music plays ]

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Steady.

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When we were learning geometry
in third grade,

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my teacher explained that unless
it intersects with another line,

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a line will continue on
indefinitely,

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even if the paper ends.

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With graph paper, pencil,
and a little arrow,

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I could create something
that continued forever.

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What incredible power
for an 8-year-old.

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I don't know about you,

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but lately I've been doing
a lot of sitting --

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so much that my back
has begun to get sore.

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It stinks.
I thought I was good at sitting.

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Despite all the sitting, I try
my best to stick to a routine.

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It's grid paper
on which to sketch my days --

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wake up, call all my uncles
by 10:00 a.m.,

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at noon, eat lunch to the sound
of my refrigerator humming,

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then do one of three things
I meant to do, eat dinner,

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then read or watch
a Bulbar movie and go to bed.

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The next day, I'll do it again.

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Sounds humdrum,
but now more than ever,

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my routine is what stands
between me and the abyss.

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I learned this lesson
on one evening

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I decided to stay up all night
to see what would happen.

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Instead of going to bed on time,
I drank a coffee after dinner,

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then watched four Bulbar movies.

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It was great
until the sun came up

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and I saw that there's nothing
separating days but sleep.

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I know days have cycles
and seasons have cycles.

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Time is not a cycle for us,
just a straight line,

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one that doesn't continue
forever.

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But that's all right,

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'cause my routine
helps me forget this.

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Anyhow, I've been taking
a lot of comfort lately

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in the second law
of thermodynamics.

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Usually I don't,
but right now it's nice to know

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that all natural processes
are irreversible

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and things
are always moving forward.

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♪♪

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And while I'm not sure it's
possible to affect things much,

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I've got hope
that we can bump the path

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in a slightly better direction.

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There's a quote
about how over time

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the direction of the moral
universe curves towards justice.

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But that is not science,

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and my friend
brought it up recently

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to suggest
she didn't believe it.

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"If that were true," she said,

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"Henry Kissinger
would be in jail."

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"He's still alive," I said.

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"There's still time."

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Positive thinking.

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What else are we supposed to do?

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What do you want me to tell you?

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I reached in,

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explored a bit to find something
that might be of use for us,

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and came back
with "Austin Powers."

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And you know what? D--
Amen.

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[ Exhales sharply ]

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I mean, I don't know.

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Don't you wish
that we could all see the world

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through the eyes of a poet?

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We had the chance.

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It was called Google Glass,
and we took it for granted.

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That's a final joke
for the nurses.

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♪♪

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♪♪

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[ Water bubbling,
indistinct conversations ]

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Well, t-that was supposed to be
the end.

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I told them I've got
more aquarium footage,

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so they asked me last minute
to extend this.

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So...I-I guess I'll keep going.

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[ Water bubbling ]

187
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Look. That striped guy doesn't
look like a strong swimmer.

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Ah.
There he goes.

189
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Don't let your kids see.
There's more than one Dory.

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I wonder if these fish feel
a longing to be somewhere else.

191
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It's hard to tell if they're
resigned or unconcerned.

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Their faces don't give much
away.

193
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You see, I can't read that.

194
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It reminds me about a story
I read.

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It was called "Axolotl,"

196
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and it's about a man
who becomes an axolotl.

197
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Uh, if you don't know what one
looks like, it's like this.

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In the story, he goes
and stares at it in the eyes

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every day at the zoo,

200
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until one day,
they suddenly change places.

201
00:13:04,149 --> 00:13:07,049
I've only read a little bit
of Kafka,

202
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but I think that would be
considered Kafkaesque,

203
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because that's what they say

204
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when a human
turns into an animal.

205
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It's, uh, based on his story
"The Bug."

206
00:13:20,159 --> 00:13:24,129
"Beauty and the Beast" --
Kafkaesque.

207
00:13:25,110 --> 00:13:29,090
The story contained perhaps
the best description of a lizard

208
00:13:29,110 --> 00:13:31,009
I've ever read --

209
00:13:31,029 --> 00:13:34,190
"I saw the rosy little body,
translucent,

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00:13:34,210 --> 00:13:39,009
ending in a fish's tail
of extraordinary delicacy.

211
00:13:39,029 --> 00:13:42,220
And then I discovered its eyes,
its face --

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00:13:43,000 --> 00:13:46,129
inexpressive features with
no other traits, save the eyes,

213
00:13:46,149 --> 00:13:51,179
two orifices, like brooches,
wholly of transparent gold,

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00:13:51,200 --> 00:13:54,009
lacking any life, but looking,

215
00:13:54,029 --> 00:13:57,230
letting themself be penetrated
by my look."

216
00:13:58,110 --> 00:13:59,179
Julio Cortázar.

217
00:13:59,200 --> 00:14:03,009
I'm not sure if I understood
all of it,

218
00:14:03,029 --> 00:14:05,059
but at the beginning,
the narrator thinks

219
00:14:05,080 --> 00:14:08,139
they are immortal-seeming
and wise in their stillness.

220
00:14:08,159 --> 00:14:12,059
But then he becomes one and
realizes that they don't move

221
00:14:12,080 --> 00:14:14,049
'cause they're just trapped
in a tank,

222
00:14:14,070 --> 00:14:17,210
also trapped in lizard bodies,
they can think like humans

223
00:14:17,230 --> 00:14:19,220
but can't talk
'cause they are lizards.

224
00:14:21,210 --> 00:14:23,230
Kafkaesque.

225
00:14:26,220 --> 00:14:29,179
Seems like we've now got
an animal theme going.

226
00:14:29,200 --> 00:14:34,059
So I asked my friend Otis if we
could borrow some of his clips.

227
00:14:34,080 --> 00:14:36,179
In 2012, he went to Japan

228
00:14:36,200 --> 00:14:39,210
and fed the monkeys apples
and peanuts.

229
00:14:39,230 --> 00:14:42,149
[ Mid-tempo music plays ]

230
00:14:42,169 --> 00:14:45,159
♪♪

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00:14:49,220 --> 00:14:52,000
♪♪

232
00:14:57,039 --> 00:14:59,220
♪♪

233
00:15:04,049 --> 00:15:08,070
Otis told me that the fences
here enclose the humans,

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00:15:08,090 --> 00:15:10,110
not the animals.

235
00:15:10,129 --> 00:15:12,110
It's interesting.

236
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♪♪

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♪♪

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I got to admit --
I'm a little bit jealous.

239
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But as we know, you don't
need to leave the country

240
00:15:37,149 --> 00:15:40,039
to feed apples to an animal.

241
00:15:40,220 --> 00:15:44,100
Plus my horse friend Emma can
eat a hundred times more apples

242
00:15:44,120 --> 00:15:47,049
than those guys.

243
00:15:51,029 --> 00:15:54,029
Proves my theory --
Everyone loves apples.

244
00:15:56,159 --> 00:15:58,100
Horses...

245
00:15:59,019 --> 00:16:01,059
...turtles...

246
00:16:01,080 --> 00:16:03,070
chinchillas...

247
00:16:03,090 --> 00:16:06,100
coypu, and on and on.

248
00:16:06,120 --> 00:16:10,070
Apples are the connection
between species.

249
00:16:11,159 --> 00:16:16,120
Before you write this off as
straight pandering or too cute,

250
00:16:16,139 --> 00:16:20,210
know that many of these animals
may be trying to get drunk.

251
00:16:20,230 --> 00:16:23,059
A lot of species seek out apples

252
00:16:23,080 --> 00:16:26,139
that have been on the ground
long enough to ferment.

253
00:16:26,159 --> 00:16:30,039
They'll eat them
and get a little intoxicated.

254
00:16:31,080 --> 00:16:34,000
Imagine driving home
on a Friday night

255
00:16:34,019 --> 00:16:36,049
and getting stuck behind
a herd of sheep

256
00:16:36,070 --> 00:16:40,009
that has eaten
too many fermented apples.

257
00:16:40,029 --> 00:16:42,149
[ Insects chirping ]

258
00:16:53,080 --> 00:16:55,110
[ Bell chimes ]

259
00:16:55,129 --> 00:16:57,169
[ Engines humming ]

260
00:16:59,120 --> 00:17:02,179
All right.
I have a question for you.

261
00:17:02,200 --> 00:17:07,210
At this moment, if you could be
anywhere in the whole world,

262
00:17:07,230 --> 00:17:10,029
where would you be?

263
00:17:10,119 --> 00:17:12,049
Anywhere.

264
00:17:16,039 --> 00:17:18,019
Are you serious?

265
00:17:18,039 --> 00:17:22,109
Taking a summer boat ride
through downtown Milwaukee?

266
00:17:22,210 --> 00:17:24,069
That's incredible,

267
00:17:24,089 --> 00:17:27,109
'cause I've got a whole sequence
of just that.

268
00:17:27,130 --> 00:17:29,099
[ Down-tempo music plays ]

269
00:17:29,119 --> 00:17:31,150
Don't ask me how I knew.

270
00:17:31,170 --> 00:17:34,150
♪♪

271
00:17:37,190 --> 00:17:41,150
I set it to a song
by my friend Owen.

272
00:17:41,170 --> 00:17:43,079
I hope you brought
your own beer.

273
00:17:43,099 --> 00:17:45,220
[ Chuckles softly ]

274
00:17:46,000 --> 00:17:49,079
♪♪

275
00:17:53,009 --> 00:17:56,170
♪♪

276
00:17:59,009 --> 00:18:03,019
Man:
♪ Don't go down Haring Street

277
00:18:03,039 --> 00:18:05,230
♪ That much anymore

278
00:18:07,150 --> 00:18:10,230
♪ I had to get
my glasses fixed ♪

279
00:18:12,230 --> 00:18:19,049
♪ Right there in front of
the old coffee shop was Walter ♪

280
00:18:20,099 --> 00:18:23,109
♪ Just sitting
where he'd always sit ♪

281
00:18:27,039 --> 00:18:30,059
♪ He was staring in the window

282
00:18:34,000 --> 00:18:36,119
♪ Maybe at you

283
00:18:39,170 --> 00:18:45,039
♪ Maybe at whomever's walking in
to fetch you muffins ♪

284
00:18:45,059 --> 00:18:48,049
♪ And Sunday papers

285
00:18:49,069 --> 00:18:51,079
♪ The way we used to

286
00:18:52,180 --> 00:18:57,119
♪ I don't drink coffee
all that much anymore ♪

287
00:18:58,140 --> 00:19:02,059
♪ When I do, I fix it at home

288
00:19:05,190 --> 00:19:08,180
♪ Don't do the crossword
Sunday ♪

289
00:19:08,200 --> 00:19:12,039
♪ I can feel dumb other ways

290
00:19:12,059 --> 00:19:15,140
♪ I can never finish them
alone ♪

291
00:19:18,109 --> 00:19:22,119
♪ Some days I ride down
to the dog park ♪

292
00:19:25,069 --> 00:19:27,099
♪ On the other side of town

293
00:19:27,119 --> 00:19:30,039
Joe: This power plant's
actually in Marquette.

294
00:19:30,059 --> 00:19:31,150
Just thought it looked nice.

295
00:19:31,170 --> 00:19:34,019
Man: ♪ Just to sit down
in the shade ♪

296
00:19:34,039 --> 00:19:37,039
♪ And watch those puppies
running 'round ♪

297
00:19:43,079 --> 00:19:49,019
♪ I don't miss feeling bad
and dreading every call ♪

298
00:19:49,230 --> 00:19:53,180
♪ The constant
screaming dialogue ♪

299
00:19:57,009 --> 00:20:00,059
♪ I swear that there were
some days ♪

300
00:20:00,079 --> 00:20:07,140
♪ It felt like I was only
coming around for your dog ♪

301
00:20:09,039 --> 00:20:13,200
♪ All those sunny days
with Walter ♪

302
00:20:16,180 --> 00:20:20,079
♪ Chasin' squirrels
around the park ♪

303
00:20:23,029 --> 00:20:27,220
♪ The way he'd flip
when he would see me coming ♪

304
00:20:28,000 --> 00:20:32,190
♪ Like the way
he did this morning ♪

305
00:20:32,210 --> 00:20:36,009
♪ With that big old
Walter bark ♪

306
00:20:36,160 --> 00:20:39,170
♪ Bark, bark

307
00:20:43,150 --> 00:20:45,220
♪ Bark, bark

308
00:20:49,160 --> 00:20:52,099
♪ Bark, bark

309
00:20:52,119 --> 00:20:54,220
♪ Hey there, Walter

310
00:20:55,170 --> 00:20:58,170
♪ Bark, bark

311
00:20:58,190 --> 00:21:03,150
♪♪

312
00:21:03,170 --> 00:21:06,130
[ Dog barks ]

313
00:21:06,150 --> 00:21:08,230
[ Down-tempo music plays ]

314
00:21:09,009 --> 00:21:10,109
♪♪

315
00:21:17,089 --> 00:21:19,079
♪♪

316
00:21:24,170 --> 00:21:26,089
♪♪

317
00:21:34,019 --> 00:21:35,180
♪♪

318
00:21:45,190 --> 00:21:50,019
Alright, Take Care
and Good night.

319
00:21:52,140 --> 00:21:55,089
♪♪

320
00:21:59,160 --> 00:22:03,089
♪♪