WEBVTT FILE

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[ Water bubbling ]

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Downloaded from
YTS.MX

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[ Down-tempo music plays ]

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Official YIFY movies site:
YTS.MX

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♪♪

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Joe:
Hello.

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My name is Joe Pera.

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And don't worry.

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No one turned me
into a cardinal fish.

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I just gave myself a bad haircut
and prefer you watch

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this aquarium footage
I had saved instead.

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Well, not so much saved
as unused --

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much of it
because it's too relaxing.

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[ Waves breaking,
birds chirping ]

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♪♪

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Kind of reflects
how I'm feeling right now,

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but it's also pretty calming
to watch.

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Right?

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I figured that to not share it

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in times like these
would be wrong,

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and so I assembled
the best of it here for you.

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It's a little more casual
than usual,

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but if just one nurse
can come home

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and watch it to fall asleep,
it'll be worth it.

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♪♪

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I mean, I can't think
of a much better use

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for my footage of a clay pot...

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...or this coffee pot...

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...and these trees.

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[ Birds chirping ]

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It's a shame that we couldn't
find a place for them

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before now.

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But I have learned that people
mostly want to watch shows

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about people,
so I tried to respect that.

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Someday, though, I'll make
a program with only trees.

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Maybe even start
my own network -- Tree TV.

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No people.
Just trees.

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Maybe every now and then we'd
show an NBA game, but that's it.

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I can't be the only one who'd
prefer to watch Old Tjikko,

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a 9,000-year-old spruce,
after reading the news.

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♪♪

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The downside is that my network
won't provide much opportunity

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for human actors.

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But as we reassess
what is essential,

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I wonder if actors are.

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Well, there are
definitely two --

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Ed Harris and Elizabeth Hurley.

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Last week, I watched
"Austin Powers"

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for the first time in 10 years,
and it holds up very well --

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a complete send-up of spy films

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and one of the things
that makes me laugh most.

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And Elizabeth Hurley
is the perfect straight man

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to Austin Powers.

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She's one of the few people
who can rein him in,

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and that is no small feat.

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Can you imagine
if it were only Austin Powers?

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It would be chaos.

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A town where all the stoplights
are green --

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fun to imagine
but in real life fatal.

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Also, she's one of the only
people in the movie

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not played by Austin Powers.

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It's just too bad
that in the second film

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she turned out to be a fembot.

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It was distressing to me

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and made dating hard
for a long time.

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Not the robot part.

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Just imagine falling for someone
who then tried to kill you.

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But instead of going down
that path,

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why don't I give you
some good news?

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Tree TV is considered
is considering a merger

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with Waterfall TV.

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And I'd say it was
pretty likely,

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'cause I am the CEO of both.

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♪♪

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Look at this.

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[ Mid-tempo music plays ]

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Trees on the move.

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♪♪

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Just as I could endlessly look
out a car window,

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I could endlessly watch
this footage

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of looking out of a car window.

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It's conducive to thinking.

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It helps the mind wander freely.

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♪♪

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♪♪

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♪♪

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I recently discovered
a great simple recipe

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I'd like to share with you.

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It's called maple syrup toast.

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Basically you take
a slice of bread, toast it,

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and then cover it
in real maple syrup.

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If you do it just right,
it's better than a steak for me.

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Not only that,
but you can eat it

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for up to two meals a day
without getting sick.

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The syrup is energy.

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Just please don't eat it
while you're driving.

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It's so good, you might crash.

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Sometimes simple meals
are the best.

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Like two apples.
Me and my friends know this.

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♪♪

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That's the one.

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You're a nice girl.

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♪♪

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♪♪

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There's some more footage
of fish I'm excited to show you,

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but I wanted to show you this
first --

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not because my old idea
to use empty baseball diamonds

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for outdoor church
is more relevant than ever.

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It's just nice to watch
the grounds keeper lay down

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the chalk lines.

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He's giving boundary
to the boundaryless,

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and it's kind of comforting
to watch in these times.

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Steady.

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Steady.
[ Down-tempo music plays ]

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Steady.

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When we were learning geometry
in third grade,

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my teacher explained that unless
it intersects with another line,

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a line will continue on
indefinitely,

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even if the paper ends.

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With graph paper, pencil,
and a little arrow,

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I could create something
that continued forever.

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What incredible power
for an 8-year-old.

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I don't know about you,

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but lately I've been doing
a lot of sitting --

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so much that my back
has begun to get sore.

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It stinks.
I thought I was good at sitting.

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Despite all the sitting, I try
my best to stick to a routine.

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It's grid paper
on which to sketch my days --

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wake up, call all my uncles
by 10:00 a.m.,

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at noon, eat lunch to the sound
of my refrigerator humming,

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then do one of three things
I meant to do, eat dinner,

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then read or watch
a Bulbar movie and go to bed.

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The next day, I'll do it again.

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Sounds humdrum,
but now more than ever,

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my routine is what stands
between me and the abyss.

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I learned this lesson
on one evening

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I decided to stay up all night
to see what would happen.

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Instead of going to bed on time,
I drank a coffee after dinner,

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then watched four Bulbar movies.

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It was great
until the sun came up

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and I saw that there's nothing
separating days but sleep.

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I know days have cycles
and seasons have cycles.

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Time is not a cycle for us,
just a straight line,

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one that doesn't continue
forever.

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But that's all right,

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'cause my routine
helps me forget this.

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Anyhow, I've been taking
a lot of comfort lately

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in the second law
of thermodynamics.

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Usually I don't,
but right now it's nice to know

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that all natural processes
are irreversible

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and things
are always moving forward.

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♪♪

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And while I'm not sure it's
possible to affect things much,

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I've got hope
that we can bump the path

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in a slightly better direction.

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There's a quote
about how over time

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the direction of the moral
universe curves towards justice.

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But that is not science,

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and my friend
brought it up recently

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to suggest
she didn't believe it.

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"If that were true," she said,

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"Henry Kissinger
would be in jail."

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"He's still alive," I said.

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"There's still time."

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Positive thinking.

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What else are we supposed to do?

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What do you want me to tell you?

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I reached in,

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explored a bit to find something
that might be of use for us,

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and came back
with "Austin Powers."

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And you know what? D--
Amen.

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[ Exhales sharply ]

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I mean, I don't know.

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Don't you wish
that we could all see the world

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through the eyes of a poet?

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We had the chance.

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It was called Google Glass,
and we took it for granted.

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That's a final joke
for the nurses.

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♪♪

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♪♪

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[ Water bubbling,
indistinct conversations ]

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Well, t-that was supposed to be
the end.

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I told them I've got
more aquarium footage,

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so they asked me last minute
to extend this.

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So...I-I guess I'll keep going.

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[ Water bubbling ]

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Look. That striped guy doesn't
look like a strong swimmer.

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Ah.
There he goes.

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Don't let your kids see.
There's more than one Dory.

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I wonder if these fish feel
a longing to be somewhere else.

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It's hard to tell if they're
resigned or unconcerned.

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Their faces don't give much
away.

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You see, I can't read that.

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It reminds me about a story
I read.

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It was called "Axolotl,"

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and it's about a man
who becomes an axolotl.

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Uh, if you don't know what one
looks like, it's like this.

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In the story, he goes
and stares at it in the eyes

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every day at the zoo,

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until one day,
they suddenly change places.

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I've only read a little bit
of Kafka,

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but I think that would be
considered Kafkaesque,

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because that's what they say

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when a human
turns into an animal.

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It's, uh, based on his story
"The Bug."

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"Beauty and the Beast" --
Kafkaesque.

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The story contained perhaps
the best description of a lizard

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I've ever read --

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"I saw the rosy little body,
translucent,

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ending in a fish's tail
of extraordinary delicacy.

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And then I discovered its eyes,
its face --

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inexpressive features with
no other traits, save the eyes,

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two orifices, like brooches,
wholly of transparent gold,

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lacking any life, but looking,

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letting themself be penetrated
by my look."

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Julio Cortázar.

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I'm not sure if I understood
all of it,

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00:14:03.029 --> 00:14:05.059
but at the beginning,
the narrator thinks

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00:14:05.080 --> 00:14:08.139
they are immortal-seeming
and wise in their stillness.

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00:14:08.159 --> 00:14:12.059
But then he becomes one and
realizes that they don't move

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'cause they're just trapped
in a tank,

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00:14:14.070 --> 00:14:17.210
also trapped in lizard bodies,
they can think like humans

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00:14:17.230 --> 00:14:19.220
but can't talk
'cause they are lizards.

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Kafkaesque.

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00:14:26.220 --> 00:14:29.179
Seems like we've now got
an animal theme going.

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00:14:29.200 --> 00:14:34.059
So I asked my friend Otis if we
could borrow some of his clips.

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In 2012, he went to Japan

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and fed the monkeys apples
and peanuts.

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[ Mid-tempo music plays ]

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♪♪

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♪♪

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♪♪

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Otis told me that the fences
here enclose the humans,

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not the animals.

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It's interesting.

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♪♪

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♪♪

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I got to admit --
I'm a little bit jealous.

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But as we know, you don't
need to leave the country

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to feed apples to an animal.

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00:15:40.220 --> 00:15:44.100
Plus my horse friend Emma can
eat a hundred times more apples

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than those guys.

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Proves my theory --
Everyone loves apples.

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Horses...

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00:15:59.019 --> 00:16:01.059
...turtles...

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00:16:01.080 --> 00:16:03.070
chinchillas...

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00:16:03.090 --> 00:16:06.100
coypu, and on and on.

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00:16:06.120 --> 00:16:10.070
Apples are the connection
between species.

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Before you write this off as
straight pandering or too cute,

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know that many of these animals
may be trying to get drunk.

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A lot of species seek out apples

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00:16:23.080 --> 00:16:26.139
that have been on the ground
long enough to ferment.

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They'll eat them
and get a little intoxicated.

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00:16:31.080 --> 00:16:34.000
Imagine driving home
on a Friday night

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00:16:34.019 --> 00:16:36.049
and getting stuck behind
a herd of sheep

256
00:16:36.070 --> 00:16:40.009
that has eaten
too many fermented apples.

257
00:16:40.029 --> 00:16:42.149
[ Insects chirping ]

258
00:16:53.080 --> 00:16:55.110
[ Bell chimes ]

259
00:16:55.129 --> 00:16:57.169
[ Engines humming ]

260
00:16:59.120 --> 00:17:02.179
All right.
I have a question for you.

261
00:17:02.200 --> 00:17:07.210
At this moment, if you could be
anywhere in the whole world,

262
00:17:07.230 --> 00:17:10.029
where would you be?

263
00:17:10.119 --> 00:17:12.049
Anywhere.

264
00:17:16.039 --> 00:17:18.019
Are you serious?

265
00:17:18.039 --> 00:17:22.109
Taking a summer boat ride
through downtown Milwaukee?

266
00:17:22.210 --> 00:17:24.069
That's incredible,

267
00:17:24.089 --> 00:17:27.109
'cause I've got a whole sequence
of just that.

268
00:17:27.130 --> 00:17:29.099
[ Down-tempo music plays ]

269
00:17:29.119 --> 00:17:31.150
Don't ask me how I knew.

270
00:17:31.170 --> 00:17:34.150
♪♪

271
00:17:37.190 --> 00:17:41.150
I set it to a song
by my friend Owen.

272
00:17:41.170 --> 00:17:43.079
I hope you brought
your own beer.

273
00:17:43.099 --> 00:17:45.220
[ Chuckles softly ]

274
00:17:46.000 --> 00:17:49.079
♪♪

275
00:17:53.009 --> 00:17:56.170
♪♪

276
00:17:59.009 --> 00:18:03.019
Man:
♪ Don't go down Haring Street

277
00:18:03.039 --> 00:18:05.230
♪ That much anymore

278
00:18:07.150 --> 00:18:10.230
♪ I had to get
my glasses fixed ♪

279
00:18:12.230 --> 00:18:19.049
♪ Right there in front of
the old coffee shop was Walter ♪

280
00:18:20.099 --> 00:18:23.109
♪ Just sitting
where he'd always sit ♪

281
00:18:27.039 --> 00:18:30.059
♪ He was staring in the window

282
00:18:34.000 --> 00:18:36.119
♪ Maybe at you

283
00:18:39.170 --> 00:18:45.039
♪ Maybe at whomever's walking in
to fetch you muffins ♪

284
00:18:45.059 --> 00:18:48.049
♪ And Sunday papers

285
00:18:49.069 --> 00:18:51.079
♪ The way we used to

286
00:18:52.180 --> 00:18:57.119
♪ I don't drink coffee
all that much anymore ♪

287
00:18:58.140 --> 00:19:02.059
♪ When I do, I fix it at home

288
00:19:05.190 --> 00:19:08.180
♪ Don't do the crossword
Sunday ♪

289
00:19:08.200 --> 00:19:12.039
♪ I can feel dumb other ways

290
00:19:12.059 --> 00:19:15.140
♪ I can never finish them
alone ♪

291
00:19:18.109 --> 00:19:22.119
♪ Some days I ride down
to the dog park ♪

292
00:19:25.069 --> 00:19:27.099
♪ On the other side of town

293
00:19:27.119 --> 00:19:30.039
Joe: This power plant's
actually in Marquette.

294
00:19:30.059 --> 00:19:31.150
Just thought it looked nice.

295
00:19:31.170 --> 00:19:34.019
Man: ♪ Just to sit down
in the shade ♪

296
00:19:34.039 --> 00:19:37.039
♪ And watch those puppies
running 'round ♪

297
00:19:43.079 --> 00:19:49.019
♪ I don't miss feeling bad
and dreading every call ♪

298
00:19:49.230 --> 00:19:53.180
♪ The constant
screaming dialogue ♪

299
00:19:57.009 --> 00:20:00.059
♪ I swear that there were
some days ♪

300
00:20:00.079 --> 00:20:07.140
♪ It felt like I was only
coming around for your dog ♪

301
00:20:09.039 --> 00:20:13.200
♪ All those sunny days
with Walter ♪

302
00:20:16.180 --> 00:20:20.079
♪ Chasin' squirrels
around the park ♪

303
00:20:23.029 --> 00:20:27.220
♪ The way he'd flip
when he would see me coming ♪

304
00:20:28.000 --> 00:20:32.190
♪ Like the way
he did this morning ♪

305
00:20:32.210 --> 00:20:36.009
♪ With that big old
Walter bark ♪

306
00:20:36.160 --> 00:20:39.170
♪ Bark, bark

307
00:20:43.150 --> 00:20:45.220
♪ Bark, bark

308
00:20:49.160 --> 00:20:52.099
♪ Bark, bark

309
00:20:52.119 --> 00:20:54.220
♪ Hey there, Walter

310
00:20:55.170 --> 00:20:58.170
♪ Bark, bark

311
00:20:58.190 --> 00:21:03.150
♪♪

312
00:21:03.170 --> 00:21:06.130
[ Dog barks ]

313
00:21:06.150 --> 00:21:08.230
[ Down-tempo music plays ]

314
00:21:09.009 --> 00:21:10.109
♪♪

315
00:21:17.089 --> 00:21:19.079
♪♪

316
00:21:24.170 --> 00:21:26.089
♪♪

317
00:21:34.019 --> 00:21:35.180
♪♪

318
00:21:45.190 --> 00:21:50.019
Alright, Take Care
and Good night.

319
00:21:52.140 --> 00:21:55.089
♪♪

320
00:21:59.160 --> 00:22:03.089
♪♪