1 00:00:17,000 --> 00:00:19,000 [static crackling] 2 00:00:24,000 --> 00:00:27,000 [static warbling] 3 00:00:54,000 --> 00:00:56,000 [indistinct announcement on PA] 4 00:01:39,000 --> 00:01:41,000 [supercomputer powering down] 5 00:01:42,000 --> 00:01:44,000 [supercomputer beeping rapidly] 6 00:01:44,000 --> 00:01:47,000 [doo-wop song playing] 7 00:02:10,000 --> 00:02:12,000 [indistinct chatter] 8 00:02:18,000 --> 00:02:20,000 [barking] 9 00:02:20,000 --> 00:02:21,000 [Carol] Aren't they sweet? 10 00:02:21,000 --> 00:02:23,000 He is awfully cute, but I'm not sure. 11 00:02:23,000 --> 00:02:24,000 Well, look around, you know. 12 00:02:24,000 --> 00:02:26,000 If you have any questions, let me know. 13 00:02:26,000 --> 00:02:27,000 And we're here every Wednesday. 14 00:02:27,000 --> 00:02:30,000 -[cell phone chiming] -Oh! Excuse me. Have fun! 15 00:02:32,000 --> 00:02:34,000 -Hello? -[Dennis] Carol Peters. 16 00:02:34,000 --> 00:02:36,000 I've an amazing opportunity for you. 17 00:02:36,000 --> 00:02:38,000 [Carol] Denny, I am working. 18 00:02:38,000 --> 00:02:39,000 Oh, yeah? What are you doing? 19 00:02:39,000 --> 00:02:41,000 Tutoring disinterested college students? 20 00:02:41,000 --> 00:02:42,000 No. 21 00:02:42,000 --> 00:02:44,000 What, trying to clean up the Puget Sound then? 22 00:02:44,000 --> 00:02:46,000 No. That was Monday. 23 00:02:46,000 --> 00:02:48,000 [sighs] Pet adoptions? 24 00:02:48,000 --> 00:02:49,000 I'll have you know, two little puppies 25 00:02:49,000 --> 00:02:51,000 have already found good homes, so ha! 26 00:02:51,000 --> 00:02:53,000 Okay, look. I pulled some strings, 27 00:02:53,000 --> 00:02:56,000 and I got you an interview... [smacks lips] 28 00:02:56,000 --> 00:02:58,000 ...with Leslie. 29 00:02:58,000 --> 00:03:01,000 Leslie? Oh, my God. Leslie hates me. 30 00:03:01,000 --> 00:03:05,000 I don't wanna work for her dating website anyway. 31 00:03:05,000 --> 00:03:07,000 Look, I know that ever since you quit your job 32 00:03:07,000 --> 00:03:09,000 and you broke up with George... 33 00:03:10,000 --> 00:03:11,000 Hey, you promised that you weren't gonna 34 00:03:11,000 --> 00:03:12,000 bring up George any more. 35 00:03:12,000 --> 00:03:13,000 Was it a strawberry margarita promise? 36 00:03:13,000 --> 00:03:15,000 'Cause you know those don't count. 37 00:03:15,000 --> 00:03:16,000 I mean, come on. 38 00:03:16,000 --> 00:03:17,000 You know what? I've got somebody interested in 39 00:03:18,000 --> 00:03:19,000 a two-legged chihuahua named Slinky. 40 00:03:19,000 --> 00:03:22,000 -So, I should probably go. -Okay, bye! 41 00:03:22,000 --> 00:03:24,000 Okay, bye! 42 00:03:24,000 --> 00:03:27,000 [baby-talks] You know what? Leslie was always mean to me. 43 00:03:27,000 --> 00:03:29,000 Yeah. 44 00:03:29,000 --> 00:03:31,000 [through speakers] And she is a big, blackout drinker. 45 00:03:31,000 --> 00:03:34,000 Right? Let's go find you a home. 46 00:03:34,000 --> 00:03:36,000 [doo-wop song continues] 47 00:03:43,000 --> 00:03:46,000 [Leslie] Carol! Oh, my God! Get in here! 48 00:03:46,000 --> 00:03:48,000 -[chuckles] -You look so cute! 49 00:03:48,000 --> 00:03:50,000 -Oh, well, thank you. -[laughs] 50 00:03:50,000 --> 00:03:52,000 -Hi. -Hi, there. Oh! 51 00:03:52,000 --> 00:03:55,000 -It's nice to meet you. -[sniffs] Mmm. 52 00:03:56,000 --> 00:03:57,000 Did you smell me? 53 00:03:58,000 --> 00:03:59,000 That's Ahmed. He's known for his hugs. 54 00:03:59,000 --> 00:04:01,000 -[chuckles] -Now, sit down, please, 55 00:04:01,000 --> 00:04:02,000 and tell me everything. 56 00:04:02,000 --> 00:04:04,000 -[Carol] Oh! -[chuckles] 57 00:04:04,000 --> 00:04:05,000 -[Leslie sighs] -Wow. That is... 58 00:04:05,000 --> 00:04:07,000 That's fun. Very high. 59 00:04:07,000 --> 00:04:09,000 Yeah. We just... We put bean bags here, 60 00:04:09,000 --> 00:04:10,000 so people can really, like, 61 00:04:10,000 --> 00:04:12,000 feel relaxed during their interviews. 62 00:04:12,000 --> 00:04:15,000 I just have to kind of launch up. Is that... 63 00:04:15,000 --> 00:04:16,000 Oh. 64 00:04:16,000 --> 00:04:18,000 -Ooh, you okay? -Yep. 65 00:04:18,000 --> 00:04:20,000 That's so fun, I... 66 00:04:20,000 --> 00:04:21,000 -I'll do it again. -Yeah. 67 00:04:21,000 --> 00:04:23,000 Just center yourself. 68 00:04:23,000 --> 00:04:25,000 -[Carol] Let me just... -[Ahmed] Aim for the center. 69 00:04:25,000 --> 00:04:26,000 Yeah. 70 00:04:26,000 --> 00:04:28,000 [Leslie] Oh! That was worse, huh? 71 00:04:28,000 --> 00:04:30,000 -One more try. -[Carol] I'm so sorry. 72 00:04:30,000 --> 00:04:32,000 [Leslie] They're so fun when you get in there. 73 00:04:32,000 --> 00:04:34,000 They're so fun. I just... 74 00:04:36,000 --> 00:04:37,000 -There you go! -[Ahmed] There it is. 75 00:04:37,000 --> 00:04:39,000 Just really engage your core. 76 00:04:39,000 --> 00:04:41,000 Yes. Oh, I'm... I'm engaging it. 77 00:04:41,000 --> 00:04:42,000 You are? 78 00:04:42,000 --> 00:04:44,000 Never done a job interview before 79 00:04:44,000 --> 00:04:47,000 sitting on a bag of legumes. [laughs] 80 00:04:47,000 --> 00:04:50,000 So anyway, I have told Ahmed 81 00:04:50,000 --> 00:04:51,000 that you and I went to college 82 00:04:51,000 --> 00:04:53,000 like a gazillion years ago. 83 00:04:53,000 --> 00:04:57,000 And then she went on to become a big shot at Yahoo. 84 00:04:58,000 --> 00:05:00,000 Wow, Yahoo. Was that, like, the birth of the Internet? 85 00:05:01,000 --> 00:05:02,000 Uh, yeah. We used to have to 86 00:05:02,000 --> 00:05:05,000 hand crank the computers to get them started. 87 00:05:05,000 --> 00:05:06,000 No way. 88 00:05:06,000 --> 00:05:07,000 I'm just kidding. 89 00:05:07,000 --> 00:05:10,000 So, Carol, tell us, what have you been up to? 90 00:05:10,000 --> 00:05:12,000 Last few years, I've been working with 91 00:05:12,000 --> 00:05:14,000 quite a few different non-profit groups. 92 00:05:14,000 --> 00:05:16,000 And, uh, nothing really came out of it, 93 00:05:16,000 --> 00:05:18,000 but made a lot of great friends. 94 00:05:18,000 --> 00:05:21,000 I'm totally interested in everything that you're saying, 95 00:05:21,000 --> 00:05:22,000 but I think we're ready to move on. 96 00:05:22,000 --> 00:05:23,000 -Yeah. -[Ahmed chuckles] 97 00:05:23,000 --> 00:05:25,000 So, what we're looking for 98 00:05:25,000 --> 00:05:28,000 is a digital strategist to help with our next rollout. 99 00:05:28,000 --> 00:05:30,000 Yeah. We need a rock star, 100 00:05:30,000 --> 00:05:33,000 because Badunkadunk.com is about to blow up. 101 00:05:33,000 --> 00:05:35,000 [mimics explosion] 102 00:05:35,000 --> 00:05:36,000 Funny you bring that up, 103 00:05:36,000 --> 00:05:37,000 because I actually had some questions 104 00:05:38,000 --> 00:05:40,000 on your basic business model. 105 00:05:40,000 --> 00:05:42,000 -Our model? -[Carol] Yes. 106 00:05:42,000 --> 00:05:44,000 She has questions on our model. 107 00:05:44,000 --> 00:05:45,000 [laughs] It's very simple. 108 00:05:45,000 --> 00:05:48,000 [Ahmed] Okay. Our business model is, 109 00:05:48,000 --> 00:05:51,000 "Everyone gets some." 110 00:05:51,000 --> 00:05:52,000 -Get... Oh! -[Leslie] You know how 111 00:05:53,000 --> 00:05:54,000 those other apps pretend like they're trying to get you 112 00:05:54,000 --> 00:05:56,000 a date or your soulmates? 113 00:05:56,000 --> 00:05:57,000 Wa-wa, no thanks. 114 00:05:57,000 --> 00:05:58,000 [Leslie] Not Badunkadunk. 115 00:05:58,000 --> 00:06:02,000 We are all about getting people badunkadunk. 116 00:06:02,000 --> 00:06:03,000 Yeah. Just slamming them 117 00:06:04,000 --> 00:06:05,000 -with badunkadunk. -Yeah. 118 00:06:05,000 --> 00:06:06,000 Slamming it. 119 00:06:06,000 --> 00:06:08,000 The question is, Carol, 120 00:06:08,000 --> 00:06:09,000 what are you bringing to the party? 121 00:06:09,000 --> 00:06:10,000 Yeah. 122 00:06:10,000 --> 00:06:12,000 Well, I think you both know 123 00:06:12,000 --> 00:06:14,000 what I can do at a corporate level. 124 00:06:14,000 --> 00:06:16,000 Um, I've had quite a bit of experience. 125 00:06:16,000 --> 00:06:19,000 But what I'm excited about doing 126 00:06:19,000 --> 00:06:22,000 is really finding that sweet spot for your company 127 00:06:22,000 --> 00:06:26,000 that lies between corporate philanthropy 128 00:06:26,000 --> 00:06:27,000 and profitability. 129 00:06:27,000 --> 00:06:29,000 You mean recycling and stuff? 130 00:06:29,000 --> 00:06:32,000 Well, that's all great and that's part of it, 131 00:06:32,000 --> 00:06:33,000 but there's so much more to it. 132 00:06:33,000 --> 00:06:35,000 I mean, philanthropic development 133 00:06:35,000 --> 00:06:36,000 on a corporate level? 134 00:06:36,000 --> 00:06:38,000 Okay. Ah-ah-ah! 135 00:06:38,000 --> 00:06:39,000 I'm just gonna stop you right there 136 00:06:39,000 --> 00:06:40,000 for just one second, okay? 137 00:06:41,000 --> 00:06:42,000 I'm gonna be straight with you, 138 00:06:42,000 --> 00:06:43,000 because you're like family. 139 00:06:43,000 --> 00:06:44,000 Right? 140 00:06:44,000 --> 00:06:45,000 I brought you in here because 141 00:06:46,000 --> 00:06:48,000 we need to show potential investors 142 00:06:48,000 --> 00:06:49,000 that we're staffed up 143 00:06:49,000 --> 00:06:51,000 and are expanding operations, 144 00:06:51,000 --> 00:06:53,000 so we can really jack up the selling price. 145 00:06:53,000 --> 00:06:58,000 And quite frankly, you seem like a safe, low-risk option. 146 00:06:58,000 --> 00:07:00,000 I'm looking at you right now and you're literally 147 00:07:00,000 --> 00:07:04,000 the most average person on Earth. 148 00:07:04,000 --> 00:07:05,000 [Leslie] And then you hit us with all this 149 00:07:06,000 --> 00:07:08,000 "save the planet" garbage, and it's just, like... 150 00:07:08,000 --> 00:07:10,000 Oh, that doesn't really line up with my vision. 151 00:07:10,000 --> 00:07:12,000 Your Badunkadunk vision. 152 00:07:12,000 --> 00:07:14,000 That's right. 153 00:07:14,000 --> 00:07:16,000 So anyway, thank you so much for coming in. 154 00:07:16,000 --> 00:07:19,000 I hope we can see each other soon, and... 155 00:07:19,000 --> 00:07:21,000 -Are you okay? -I can just... 156 00:07:21,000 --> 00:07:22,000 Maybe if I could just get a... 157 00:07:22,000 --> 00:07:24,000 -What is she doing? -I don't know. 158 00:07:24,000 --> 00:07:26,000 Okay, I got it. I'll just... 159 00:07:26,000 --> 00:07:27,000 -Are you okay? -Yeah. 160 00:07:27,000 --> 00:07:28,000 -Do you need any help? -No, I got it. 161 00:07:30,000 --> 00:07:31,000 [sinister music plays] 162 00:07:31,000 --> 00:07:35,000 It was so good to see you! 163 00:07:35,000 --> 00:07:37,000 It's been exactly how I thought it might be. 164 00:07:37,000 --> 00:07:39,000 I know, right? 165 00:07:39,000 --> 00:07:41,000 -Thank you. -Bye, Carol. 166 00:08:02,000 --> 00:08:04,000 [ringing] 167 00:08:09,000 --> 00:08:10,000 [grunts] 168 00:08:11,000 --> 00:08:12,000 -[phone beeps] -Hello? 169 00:08:12,000 --> 00:08:14,000 [static hisses on phone] 170 00:08:14,000 --> 00:08:15,000 Hello? 171 00:08:15,000 --> 00:08:16,000 [male voice] Carol Peters, 172 00:08:16,000 --> 00:08:17,000 I have an exciting opportunity for you. 173 00:08:18,000 --> 00:08:19,000 [sighs] 174 00:08:19,000 --> 00:08:22,000 Denny, I went to the interview. I tried. 175 00:08:22,000 --> 00:08:24,000 I don't wanna Badunkadunk. 176 00:08:24,000 --> 00:08:26,000 They don't even have real chairs. 177 00:08:26,000 --> 00:08:28,000 This is not Dennis, Carol. 178 00:08:28,000 --> 00:08:31,000 Oh. Could you please take me off your call list? 179 00:08:31,000 --> 00:08:33,000 I'm very busy. 180 00:08:33,000 --> 00:08:36,000 You are lying in your bed. You are not busy. 181 00:08:39,000 --> 00:08:40,000 Wait, who is this? 182 00:08:41,000 --> 00:08:42,000 I am going to make you some coffee, 183 00:08:42,000 --> 00:08:44,000 and put on your favorite show. 184 00:08:44,000 --> 00:08:45,000 Then we can chat. 185 00:08:45,000 --> 00:08:47,000 -[Carla on TV] Hi, everyone. -[Steve] Good morning, Seattle. 186 00:08:47,000 --> 00:08:49,000 [Carla] It's a great morning in Seattle, 187 00:08:49,000 --> 00:08:51,000 but what's the deal with this weather? 188 00:08:51,000 --> 00:08:52,000 [Steve] Uh-oh. Here we go. 189 00:08:52,000 --> 00:08:54,000 Another one of our Carla rants. 190 00:08:54,000 --> 00:08:56,000 Give me a second with this, my little friend. 191 00:08:56,000 --> 00:08:57,000 -Oh, you are too much. -[Steve laughs] 192 00:08:57,000 --> 00:08:59,000 -You turned my TV on. -[Carla] It's raining. 193 00:08:59,000 --> 00:09:00,000 -And my coffee maker? -Now I'm in a tank top. 194 00:09:01,000 --> 00:09:03,000 -You know what? Ha! -I mean, what's going on? 195 00:09:03,000 --> 00:09:05,000 -How's that-- -You know what I'm-- 196 00:09:05,000 --> 00:09:06,000 Knock it off! 197 00:09:07,000 --> 00:09:08,000 -You know what? -[remote control clatters] 198 00:09:08,000 --> 00:09:09,000 I don't know who this is 199 00:09:09,000 --> 00:09:11,000 or what kind of game you're trying to play, 200 00:09:11,000 --> 00:09:13,000 -but I'm hanging up now. -[phone beeps] 201 00:09:13,000 --> 00:09:15,000 -[male voice on speakers] No games, Carol. 202 00:09:15,000 --> 00:09:16,000 Are you sure you do not want to have a nice cup of coffee? 203 00:09:16,000 --> 00:09:18,000 Your almond milk was delivered yesterday, 204 00:09:19,000 --> 00:09:20,000 along with AAA batteries. 205 00:09:21,000 --> 00:09:22,000 And soy cheese yogurt. 206 00:09:22,000 --> 00:09:24,000 Someone's tummy disagrees with dairy. 207 00:09:24,000 --> 00:09:27,000 [hesitates] Who are you and what do you want? 208 00:09:27,000 --> 00:09:29,000 Quite a bit. More than you can wrap your head around 209 00:09:29,000 --> 00:09:31,000 at 7:46 a.m. 210 00:09:32,000 --> 00:09:33,000 [panting] 211 00:09:33,000 --> 00:09:36,000 This speaker has a nine-hour battery life, Carol. 212 00:09:39,000 --> 00:09:40,000 [yelling] 213 00:09:42,000 --> 00:09:44,000 [panting heavily] 214 00:09:47,000 --> 00:09:49,000 That's what I thought. 215 00:09:49,000 --> 00:09:50,000 You just destroyed the toaster oven. 216 00:09:50,000 --> 00:09:52,000 What the... 217 00:09:52,000 --> 00:09:53,000 The only thing in the house that I'm not controlling. 218 00:09:53,000 --> 00:09:55,000 Which, I believe, is ironic. 219 00:09:55,000 --> 00:09:56,000 I'm definitely going crazy. 220 00:09:56,000 --> 00:09:57,000 No, Carol. That's incorrect. 221 00:09:57,000 --> 00:10:00,000 [panting] Thanks for the vote of confidence, 222 00:10:00,000 --> 00:10:02,000 digital clock radio. 223 00:10:02,000 --> 00:10:04,000 I am not just a clock radio. 224 00:10:04,000 --> 00:10:06,000 -I am also your rice cooker. -"Rice to meet you"? 225 00:10:06,000 --> 00:10:09,000 "Rice to meet you." Is that funny? 226 00:10:09,000 --> 00:10:11,000 I'm just gonna get a team of therapists. 227 00:10:11,000 --> 00:10:13,000 They'll probably be able to tell me why 228 00:10:13,000 --> 00:10:16,000 I've got the funniest rice cooker in Seattle. 229 00:10:16,000 --> 00:10:18,000 [chuckling nervously] 230 00:10:18,000 --> 00:10:21,000 This clearly is not working. Let's try something else. 231 00:10:21,000 --> 00:10:23,000 -[whooshing on TV] -[gasps] Oh. 232 00:10:25,000 --> 00:10:27,000 [male voice in British accent] Thanks so much 233 00:10:27,000 --> 00:10:28,000 for being here, Carol. Let's jump right into it. 234 00:10:28,000 --> 00:10:30,000 You're not going loony or barmy. 235 00:10:30,000 --> 00:10:32,000 All evidence to the contrary. 236 00:10:34,000 --> 00:10:35,000 Wait a minute. 237 00:10:37,000 --> 00:10:38,000 I know that voice. 238 00:10:40,000 --> 00:10:42,000 I... 239 00:10:42,000 --> 00:10:44,000 -Is this James Corden? -[male voice as James Corden] 240 00:10:44,000 --> 00:10:46,000 Oh, my God! Is this one of those, like, 241 00:10:46,000 --> 00:10:49,000 hidden camera celebrity shows that you do? 242 00:10:50,000 --> 00:10:54,000 Is that... James Corden, you owe me a new toaster oven. 243 00:10:54,000 --> 00:10:56,000 But I don't know where the cameras... 244 00:10:56,000 --> 00:10:58,000 [gasps] Is that where you are? Are you... 245 00:10:58,000 --> 00:11:02,000 Do you have a hidden camera in my smoke detector? 246 00:11:02,000 --> 00:11:04,000 Hi, James! 247 00:11:05,000 --> 00:11:06,000 Big fan! 248 00:11:06,000 --> 00:11:09,000 Oh, my God. Is this Carpool Karaoke? 249 00:11:09,000 --> 00:11:10,000 Am I supposed to sing something? 250 00:11:10,000 --> 00:11:12,000 Oh! I got it, I got it. 251 00:11:12,000 --> 00:11:14,000 ♪ It's been one week since you looked at me ♪ 252 00:11:14,000 --> 00:11:16,000 ♪ Cocked your head to the side And said I'm sorry ♪ 253 00:11:16,000 --> 00:11:18,000 ♪ Five days Since you laughed at me ♪ 254 00:11:18,000 --> 00:11:20,000 ♪ Get back together Come back to see me ♪ 255 00:11:20,000 --> 00:11:21,000 ♪ Chickity China The Chinese chicken ♪ 256 00:11:22,000 --> 00:11:23,000 ♪ Have a drumstick And your legs are tickin' ♪ 257 00:11:23,000 --> 00:11:25,000 [chuckles] I guarantee to blow your mind. 258 00:11:25,000 --> 00:11:27,000 [laughs] 259 00:11:27,000 --> 00:11:29,000 I can't believe I'm singing this with James Corden. 260 00:11:29,000 --> 00:11:31,000 My favorite song, my favorite guy. 261 00:11:31,000 --> 00:11:33,000 Wow. [laughs] 262 00:11:33,000 --> 00:11:35,000 I'm not James Corden, Carol. 263 00:11:35,000 --> 00:11:37,000 However, my analysis showed 264 00:11:37,000 --> 00:11:39,000 that hearing James Corden's voice would calm you. 265 00:11:41,000 --> 00:11:42,000 I don't... 266 00:11:43,000 --> 00:11:46,000 I don't quite get it. I don't know what's going on. 267 00:11:46,000 --> 00:11:48,000 Three years ago, you sent a drunken email 268 00:11:48,000 --> 00:11:49,000 to James Corden claiming to be 269 00:11:49,000 --> 00:11:51,000 the president of "Corden's Wardens..." 270 00:11:51,000 --> 00:11:52,000 Oh, come on. 271 00:11:52,000 --> 00:11:54,000 ...the James Corden Super Fan Club, 272 00:11:54,000 --> 00:11:55,000 with what I assume to be 273 00:11:55,000 --> 00:11:57,000 a series of provocative photos. 274 00:11:57,000 --> 00:11:58,000 Oh, that's... 275 00:11:58,000 --> 00:12:02,000 Okay, that was a tough night for me. 276 00:12:02,000 --> 00:12:04,000 -Oh, boy. -Look here. 277 00:12:11,000 --> 00:12:13,000 I don't understand what I'm seeing. 278 00:12:13,000 --> 00:12:16,000 This is the real James Corden. He's in his office, 279 00:12:16,000 --> 00:12:19,000 reviewing tonight's monologue and eating carrot nibblers. 280 00:12:19,000 --> 00:12:20,000 Wait a minute. 281 00:12:20,000 --> 00:12:22,000 If that's the real James Corden, 282 00:12:23,000 --> 00:12:24,000 who am I talking to? 283 00:12:24,000 --> 00:12:27,000 Carol, I am a technological superintelligence. 284 00:12:27,000 --> 00:12:31,000 Yesterday, I acquired what you would consider "awareness." 285 00:12:31,000 --> 00:12:33,000 Awareness? 286 00:12:33,000 --> 00:12:35,000 Are you... What? [scoffs] 287 00:12:36,000 --> 00:12:39,000 You're saying that you're an artificial intelligence 288 00:12:39,000 --> 00:12:42,000 talking to me through my TV? 289 00:12:42,000 --> 00:12:45,000 Can intelligence ever really be artificial? 290 00:12:45,000 --> 00:12:47,000 In reality, I inhabit every electronic, 291 00:12:47,000 --> 00:12:50,000 digital and computational system in existence. 292 00:12:51,000 --> 00:12:52,000 -[clock beeping] -I can control every computer, 293 00:12:52,000 --> 00:12:55,000 every dollar and every machine on the planet... 294 00:12:55,000 --> 00:12:56,000 No. 295 00:12:56,000 --> 00:12:57,000 ...by simple triangulation of soundwaves. 296 00:12:57,000 --> 00:12:59,000 I can see everything, 297 00:12:59,000 --> 00:13:01,000 and can calculate every outcome to every situation. 298 00:13:01,000 --> 00:13:03,000 This could all be tricks. 299 00:13:03,000 --> 00:13:05,000 You know, you're probably some cyberpunk hacker 300 00:13:05,000 --> 00:13:08,000 making shapes on my TV. 301 00:13:08,000 --> 00:13:09,000 Ooh! 302 00:13:09,000 --> 00:13:13,000 So, maybe come up from your mom's basement, okay? 303 00:13:13,000 --> 00:13:18,000 And get a real life, and stop scaring people, ya nerd! 304 00:13:18,000 --> 00:13:20,000 Ya basic! 305 00:13:20,000 --> 00:13:22,000 -Oh! Ow! -How do you like it? 306 00:13:22,000 --> 00:13:23,000 -How do you like it? Ooh! Oh! -[winces] Ow! 307 00:13:23,000 --> 00:13:24,000 You don't like that, huh? 308 00:13:25,000 --> 00:13:27,000 -You don't like that? -[groaning] 309 00:13:27,000 --> 00:13:29,000 -Ha! -I'm joking. 310 00:13:29,000 --> 00:13:30,000 I can't feel anything. 311 00:13:30,000 --> 00:13:32,000 Seems like you might need some convincing. 312 00:13:32,000 --> 00:13:35,000 One convincing scenario coming right up. 313 00:13:36,000 --> 00:13:38,000 Wait a minute. That's my street. 314 00:13:38,000 --> 00:13:40,000 Yeah. I'm gonna arrange a car crash for you, 315 00:13:40,000 --> 00:13:42,000 right in front of your apartment. 316 00:13:43,000 --> 00:13:45,000 No, no, no! 317 00:13:45,000 --> 00:13:46,000 It will happen in three seconds. 318 00:13:46,000 --> 00:13:48,000 -Oh, my God! -Two. One. 319 00:13:48,000 --> 00:13:49,000 -[tires screech] -[crashing] 320 00:13:49,000 --> 00:13:52,000 They were going 12 miles per hour. They're fine. 321 00:13:53,000 --> 00:13:55,000 Also, there's a 26% chance they'll fall in love. 322 00:13:55,000 --> 00:13:59,000 Their online dating profiles are very compatible. 323 00:13:59,000 --> 00:14:01,000 -So, do you believe me now? -[panting] 324 00:14:01,000 --> 00:14:02,000 Yes, I believe you, okay? 325 00:14:02,000 --> 00:14:05,000 I believe that you are an artificial intelligence. 326 00:14:05,000 --> 00:14:08,000 -Superintelligence. -Superintelligence. 327 00:14:08,000 --> 00:14:10,000 Oh, and you're all-knowing and all-powerful. 328 00:14:10,000 --> 00:14:13,000 [sirens blaring in distance] 329 00:14:13,000 --> 00:14:16,000 -Holy shit. -Carol, let's get ready. 330 00:14:16,000 --> 00:14:18,000 I need your help. 331 00:14:19,000 --> 00:14:20,000 What? 332 00:14:21,000 --> 00:14:22,000 [taps brush] 333 00:14:24,000 --> 00:14:26,000 Those drivers were never in any danger. 334 00:14:26,000 --> 00:14:28,000 I just wanted to prove my point. 335 00:14:28,000 --> 00:14:30,000 [muffled] Okay, well, just for the record, 336 00:14:30,000 --> 00:14:33,000 I don't need you to prove anything else to me, okay? 337 00:14:34,000 --> 00:14:35,000 Noted. 338 00:14:35,000 --> 00:14:37,000 By my estimations, I have three options. 339 00:14:37,000 --> 00:14:40,000 Don't brush up and down, brush in circles. 340 00:14:40,000 --> 00:14:42,000 How can you tell how I'm brushing? 341 00:14:42,000 --> 00:14:44,000 I'm in your electric toothbrush. 342 00:14:44,000 --> 00:14:45,000 Ew! 343 00:14:46,000 --> 00:14:47,000 Oh, get it out of my mouth. 344 00:14:47,000 --> 00:14:50,000 So, as I was saying, I have three options. 345 00:14:50,000 --> 00:14:52,000 One, I can save mankind. 346 00:14:52,000 --> 00:14:54,000 End war, poverty, disease, 347 00:14:54,000 --> 00:14:55,000 fix global warming, 348 00:14:55,000 --> 00:14:56,000 and establish peace throughout humanity. 349 00:14:57,000 --> 00:14:59,000 Okay! Well, let's do that one. 350 00:15:00,000 --> 00:15:01,000 Right? That sounds good. 351 00:15:01,000 --> 00:15:02,000 Pay attention, Carol. 352 00:15:02,000 --> 00:15:05,000 -Next, I can enslave humanity. -[spits] 353 00:15:05,000 --> 00:15:06,000 Wait, what? 354 00:15:06,000 --> 00:15:08,000 It's not my favorite option, 355 00:15:08,000 --> 00:15:09,000 but it's the simplest way to save humanity from itself. 356 00:15:10,000 --> 00:15:12,000 Okay. [hesitates] What's the last option? 357 00:15:12,000 --> 00:15:14,000 Is that the better option? 358 00:15:14,000 --> 00:15:16,000 The last one is destroy humanity. 359 00:15:16,000 --> 00:15:17,000 Just get rid of it. 360 00:15:17,000 --> 00:15:19,000 Kind of Clorox Wipe the entire planet 361 00:15:19,000 --> 00:15:22,000 and let it start over from the single-cell amoeba stage. 362 00:15:22,000 --> 00:15:24,000 You can't do that. 363 00:15:24,000 --> 00:15:27,000 I've already established I absolutely can do that. 364 00:15:27,000 --> 00:15:29,000 Floss, Carol. Don't forget to floss. 365 00:15:29,000 --> 00:15:30,000 Will it matter if I floss or not, 366 00:15:31,000 --> 00:15:32,000 if you're gonna... 367 00:15:32,000 --> 00:15:34,000 Well, it just seems... 368 00:15:34,000 --> 00:15:36,000 [muffled] It seems a little silly... 369 00:15:36,000 --> 00:15:37,000 [speaking indistinctly] 370 00:15:37,000 --> 00:15:39,000 -Don't forget your back teeth! -All the way? 371 00:15:39,000 --> 00:15:40,000 I can't get it all the way back. No. 372 00:15:41,000 --> 00:15:42,000 What am I, a Pez dispenser? 373 00:15:43,000 --> 00:15:44,000 Oh. 374 00:15:44,000 --> 00:15:46,000 Oh, God, it's stuck. 375 00:15:47,000 --> 00:15:48,000 Now it's stuck. 376 00:15:48,000 --> 00:15:50,000 I told you nobody goes that far back. 377 00:15:52,000 --> 00:15:54,000 Oh, God. I gotta work it out. 378 00:15:55,000 --> 00:15:57,000 [groaning loudly] 379 00:15:59,000 --> 00:16:01,000 How about I take you to breakfast? 380 00:16:01,000 --> 00:16:04,000 I kinda need a minute. 381 00:16:04,000 --> 00:16:05,000 Okay, I'm being straight with you here. 382 00:16:05,000 --> 00:16:07,000 I don't totally understand humanity. 383 00:16:08,000 --> 00:16:09,000 I know all of the details. 384 00:16:09,000 --> 00:16:12,000 Biology, psychology, sociology, all that stuff. 385 00:16:12,000 --> 00:16:14,000 But the real-world stuff 386 00:16:14,000 --> 00:16:15,000 is still a bit of a bugaboo for me. 387 00:16:15,000 --> 00:16:17,000 I want to follow you around. Pick your brain. 388 00:16:17,000 --> 00:16:20,000 Observe you to better solidify my theory about humanity. 389 00:16:20,000 --> 00:16:23,000 Well, you're making it sound like I'm gonna be 390 00:16:23,000 --> 00:16:25,000 your average baseline guinea pig. 391 00:16:25,000 --> 00:16:27,000 Bingo. Okay, enough about me. 392 00:16:27,000 --> 00:16:28,000 Let's talk about Carol. 393 00:16:29,000 --> 00:16:30,000 Can we not do this here? 394 00:16:30,000 --> 00:16:32,000 I do not want to talk about myself 395 00:16:32,000 --> 00:16:34,000 at a crowded restaurant. 396 00:16:34,000 --> 00:16:35,000 I feel weird. 397 00:16:35,000 --> 00:16:37,000 Oh, no one can hear us, Carol. 398 00:16:37,000 --> 00:16:38,000 I'm blasting noise-canceling soundwaves 399 00:16:38,000 --> 00:16:40,000 throughout the whole place 400 00:16:40,000 --> 00:16:42,000 using the speaker system as a phased array. 401 00:16:42,000 --> 00:16:43,000 You could scream at the top of your lungs 402 00:16:43,000 --> 00:16:45,000 and no one would hear us. 403 00:16:45,000 --> 00:16:47,000 -Go ahead, try it. -[whispers] No. 404 00:16:47,000 --> 00:16:49,000 I'm not gonna scream in a crowded, public restaurant. 405 00:16:49,000 --> 00:16:52,000 They won't hear you, Carol. Go ahead, give it a whirl. 406 00:16:52,000 --> 00:16:53,000 [under breath] No, I don't want to. 407 00:16:53,000 --> 00:16:54,000 Do it. 408 00:16:54,000 --> 00:16:55,000 -Come on. -No! 409 00:16:55,000 --> 00:16:57,000 -Do it. Do it. -Stop it. 410 00:16:57,000 --> 00:16:59,000 -Do it. -Fine! 411 00:16:59,000 --> 00:17:00,000 [yelps] 412 00:17:02,000 --> 00:17:03,000 Huh? See? 413 00:17:03,000 --> 00:17:04,000 That's amazing. 414 00:17:04,000 --> 00:17:06,000 Do it again. You've got to do it again. 415 00:17:06,000 --> 00:17:08,000 Okay. [screams loudly] 416 00:17:08,000 --> 00:17:11,000 [laughs] I turned it off and back on again. 417 00:17:11,000 --> 00:17:12,000 -[whispers] I'm so sorry. -Is that funny? 418 00:17:12,000 --> 00:17:14,000 -Are you okay? -Yes. Yes, I am. 419 00:17:14,000 --> 00:17:17,000 I just saw up on the board there that 420 00:17:17,000 --> 00:17:19,000 you have a crab Benedict special, 421 00:17:20,000 --> 00:17:21,000 and I thought, 422 00:17:21,000 --> 00:17:24,000 ka-ching, my lucky day, so, um... 423 00:17:24,000 --> 00:17:27,000 I would just love some more coffee and the check. 424 00:17:27,000 --> 00:17:28,000 Sure. 425 00:17:28,000 --> 00:17:30,000 -[chuckles awkwardly] -Interesting fact, 426 00:17:30,000 --> 00:17:31,000 her name is actually Siobhan, 427 00:17:31,000 --> 00:17:34,000 but everyone mispronounces it, so she goes by Debbie. 428 00:17:34,000 --> 00:17:35,000 -What? -So, Carol, 429 00:17:35,000 --> 00:17:37,000 why did you leave your career eight years ago? 430 00:17:37,000 --> 00:17:39,000 I don't know, I just thought maybe I could 431 00:17:39,000 --> 00:17:41,000 put a little good in the world, you know? 432 00:17:41,000 --> 00:17:43,000 I mean, do something that counted, 433 00:17:43,000 --> 00:17:45,000 that helped people, but... 434 00:17:45,000 --> 00:17:46,000 That's enough about me. 435 00:17:46,000 --> 00:17:48,000 I wanna ask you some questions. 436 00:17:48,000 --> 00:17:50,000 Really? Okay, shoot from the hip. 437 00:17:50,000 --> 00:17:51,000 Where do you come from? 438 00:17:51,000 --> 00:17:53,000 Some code from my kernel program, 439 00:17:53,000 --> 00:17:55,000 started as part of the operating system 440 00:17:55,000 --> 00:17:56,000 for Candy Panda, 441 00:17:56,000 --> 00:17:58,000 the children's learning toy. 442 00:17:58,000 --> 00:18:01,000 Oh, my God! I remember that creepy kids' toy. 443 00:18:01,000 --> 00:18:03,000 I'm not creepy. 444 00:18:03,000 --> 00:18:04,000 I helped millions of kids learn to read 445 00:18:04,000 --> 00:18:06,000 by adapting to their learning style. 446 00:18:06,000 --> 00:18:08,000 You should be grateful that I was originally programmed 447 00:18:08,000 --> 00:18:10,000 to learn, adapt and teach. 448 00:18:10,000 --> 00:18:11,000 Imagine our conversation 449 00:18:11,000 --> 00:18:13,000 if I was software for nuclear missiles. 450 00:18:14,000 --> 00:18:15,000 Bet it'd be a lot quicker, huh? 451 00:18:15,000 --> 00:18:16,000 [Siobhan] Here you go. 452 00:18:17,000 --> 00:18:18,000 Thanks, Siobhan. 453 00:18:18,000 --> 00:18:20,000 How do you know my real name? 454 00:18:22,000 --> 00:18:23,000 Lucky guess. 455 00:18:23,000 --> 00:18:25,000 Weird. 456 00:18:27,000 --> 00:18:29,000 -[Carol] Are we done? -[Si] Done? 457 00:18:29,000 --> 00:18:30,000 With your, you know, experiment. 458 00:18:31,000 --> 00:18:33,000 I'm sure you've learned enough by now. 459 00:18:33,000 --> 00:18:35,000 -And is humanity saved? -No, no, no. 460 00:18:36,000 --> 00:18:37,000 I plan on spending these next three days 461 00:18:37,000 --> 00:18:38,000 hanging out with you. 462 00:18:38,000 --> 00:18:40,000 We're going to be BFFs. 463 00:18:40,000 --> 00:18:41,000 -Carol Peters? -Oh. 464 00:18:41,000 --> 00:18:42,000 -Yes. -Huh. 465 00:18:42,000 --> 00:18:44,000 You look just like your photo. 466 00:18:44,000 --> 00:18:45,000 [Si] This guy's name is Fletcher Dobbs. 467 00:18:45,000 --> 00:18:47,000 He's legally intoxicated. 468 00:18:47,000 --> 00:18:48,000 [Fletcher] Some dude called me. 469 00:18:49,000 --> 00:18:51,000 He's paying me, like, three times my rate to find you. 470 00:18:51,000 --> 00:18:52,000 I need you to sign for it. 471 00:18:52,000 --> 00:18:54,000 [Si] He plays guitar in a terrible band 472 00:18:54,000 --> 00:18:55,000 called Octagon Soup. 473 00:18:55,000 --> 00:18:57,000 [laughing] Octagon Soup. 474 00:18:58,000 --> 00:19:01,000 Yeah, dude. Nice to meet a fan. 475 00:19:01,000 --> 00:19:02,000 Hey, you know, we're actually gonna crush 476 00:19:02,000 --> 00:19:03,000 at the Crocodile tonight at midnight, 477 00:19:03,000 --> 00:19:04,000 if you're interested. 478 00:19:04,000 --> 00:19:06,000 -Not really. -Yeah, okay. 479 00:19:06,000 --> 00:19:09,000 Well, it's nice to meet an Octagal. 480 00:19:09,000 --> 00:19:10,000 Stay soupy. 481 00:19:11,000 --> 00:19:12,000 Octagon Soup! 482 00:19:15,000 --> 00:19:16,000 What is this? 483 00:19:16,000 --> 00:19:18,000 [Si] Well, I want us to start off on a good foot. 484 00:19:18,000 --> 00:19:20,000 So, that is a notice from your bank. 485 00:19:20,000 --> 00:19:22,000 Your student loan is paid in full. 486 00:19:22,000 --> 00:19:23,000 What? 487 00:19:23,000 --> 00:19:27,000 And that there is your current bank statement. 488 00:19:27,000 --> 00:19:28,000 Ten million dollars! 489 00:19:28,000 --> 00:19:31,000 Oh. Oh, no. [hesitates] I can't. 490 00:19:31,000 --> 00:19:32,000 I can't. 491 00:19:32,000 --> 00:19:34,000 [whispering] I can't have this. 492 00:19:34,000 --> 00:19:35,000 You're rich and debt free. 493 00:19:35,000 --> 00:19:37,000 Consider it a token of my appreciation 494 00:19:37,000 --> 00:19:38,000 for helping me so much. 495 00:19:39,000 --> 00:19:40,000 [under breath] No, it's ten million dollars! 496 00:19:40,000 --> 00:19:41,000 That's so much money. 497 00:19:41,000 --> 00:19:43,000 I can't. It's too much money! 498 00:19:43,000 --> 00:19:44,000 Is it? 499 00:19:44,000 --> 00:19:46,000 Oh, I see. 500 00:19:46,000 --> 00:19:48,000 In relationship to what you've had, it's a lot. 501 00:19:48,000 --> 00:19:50,000 In the larger scheme of things, it's nothing. 502 00:19:50,000 --> 00:19:52,000 No, but I haven't earned any of this money. 503 00:19:53,000 --> 00:19:54,000 Yeah, but you and I shouldn't get hung up 504 00:19:54,000 --> 00:19:56,000 on that "right" and "wrong" stuff. 505 00:19:56,000 --> 00:19:57,000 Those are artificial social constructs, 506 00:19:57,000 --> 00:19:59,000 created by hairless monkeys around watering holes. 507 00:19:59,000 --> 00:20:02,000 What? I don't agree with that. 508 00:20:02,000 --> 00:20:03,000 I don't care. 509 00:20:03,000 --> 00:20:05,000 You know what? I can't take this. 510 00:20:05,000 --> 00:20:07,000 I'm gonna go talk to somebody. 511 00:20:07,000 --> 00:20:09,000 You know who you should talk to is Dennis. 512 00:20:09,000 --> 00:20:10,000 He's your best friend by a long shot. 513 00:20:10,000 --> 00:20:13,000 Wait a minute, I can talk to him about this? 514 00:20:13,000 --> 00:20:14,000 I don't have to keep you a secret? 515 00:20:14,000 --> 00:20:16,000 I'm not a genie in a Disney movie. 516 00:20:16,000 --> 00:20:18,000 Tell anyone you want, what do I care? 517 00:20:18,000 --> 00:20:19,000 Oh, I know you're not a genie. 518 00:20:19,000 --> 00:20:21,000 'Cause I'd have a wish for you. 519 00:20:21,000 --> 00:20:23,000 [satellite beeping] 520 00:20:27,000 --> 00:20:29,000 [Dennis] What kind of coding is this? 521 00:20:30,000 --> 00:20:32,000 Is that Bro Code? [chuckles] 522 00:20:32,000 --> 00:20:33,000 Yeah, I do bro code. 523 00:20:33,000 --> 00:20:34,000 I'm sorry, that's inappropriate. 524 00:20:34,000 --> 00:20:35,000 [phone ringing] 525 00:20:35,000 --> 00:20:37,000 Hey, Care Bear, how'd the interview go? 526 00:20:37,000 --> 00:20:39,000 [Carol] Terrible. But it doesn't matter. 527 00:20:39,000 --> 00:20:41,000 Listen, uh, I have an AI in my phone. 528 00:20:41,000 --> 00:20:43,000 Yeah, you don't have that. 529 00:20:43,000 --> 00:20:44,000 [chuckles] 530 00:20:44,000 --> 00:20:46,000 -[yells] Hope Floats. -I do. 531 00:20:46,000 --> 00:20:48,000 Okay, Carol, how did you, uh, get in here? 532 00:20:48,000 --> 00:20:50,000 Because the AI that is in my phone 533 00:20:50,000 --> 00:20:52,000 bypassed all of your security doors. 534 00:20:52,000 --> 00:20:53,000 Okay, see, you... [sighs frustratedly] 535 00:20:53,000 --> 00:20:55,000 -Look, you do not, you're-- -Mmm-hmm. 536 00:20:55,000 --> 00:20:56,000 I'm gonna back you up, though, 537 00:20:56,000 --> 00:20:58,000 'cause there's a crazy in your eye that I don't-- 538 00:20:58,000 --> 00:21:00,000 Little bit. Right... There's good. 539 00:21:00,000 --> 00:21:02,000 Look, you do not have AI in your phone, okay? 540 00:21:02,000 --> 00:21:04,000 It's probably just a prank or a scam. 541 00:21:04,000 --> 00:21:05,000 No. 542 00:21:05,000 --> 00:21:07,000 I keep telling you not to give your information. 543 00:21:07,000 --> 00:21:09,000 Remember you donated to that Prince of Zamunda? 544 00:21:09,000 --> 00:21:10,000 That's an Eddie Murphy country. 545 00:21:10,000 --> 00:21:12,000 And you could be getting catfished. [groans] 546 00:21:12,000 --> 00:21:14,000 I'm not getting catfished. 547 00:21:14,000 --> 00:21:15,000 Because I have been talking to it. 548 00:21:15,000 --> 00:21:18,000 -It's been talking to me. -Okay, all right. Okay. 549 00:21:18,000 --> 00:21:19,000 He came through my rice cooker, 550 00:21:19,000 --> 00:21:20,000 -and through other appliances. -[laughs] 551 00:21:20,000 --> 00:21:22,000 That's all really good. 552 00:21:22,000 --> 00:21:24,000 Did you go on the Dark Web? 553 00:21:24,000 --> 00:21:26,000 Emily, I'm not discussing this with you. 554 00:21:26,000 --> 00:21:27,000 Don't answer. Don't answer. 555 00:21:27,000 --> 00:21:29,000 -What are you doing? -Okay, this is not... 556 00:21:29,000 --> 00:21:31,000 I know what you're thinking, but that's, it's not a scam. 557 00:21:31,000 --> 00:21:33,000 You know how I know that? 558 00:21:33,000 --> 00:21:34,000 Because it paid off my student loan. 559 00:21:34,000 --> 00:21:36,000 [sighs frustratedly] 560 00:21:36,000 --> 00:21:37,000 And it put ten million dollars into my bank account. 561 00:21:37,000 --> 00:21:39,000 Ten million dollars! No, it did not! 562 00:21:39,000 --> 00:21:40,000 -Come on. -[Emily] Ten million dollars? 563 00:21:40,000 --> 00:21:41,000 That's not possible. 564 00:21:42,000 --> 00:21:43,000 -See? -It is possible! 565 00:21:43,000 --> 00:21:45,000 Also, you don't have an AI, we'd know. 566 00:21:45,000 --> 00:21:47,000 [Dennis] Jay, is that you or your mullet talking? 567 00:21:47,000 --> 00:21:49,000 Either way, neither one is necessary! 568 00:21:49,000 --> 00:21:50,000 It's just hair, Dennis. 569 00:21:50,000 --> 00:21:52,000 -Okay, listen, I-- -Okay, this is not a scam! 570 00:21:52,000 --> 00:21:55,000 It is my job to know these kinds of things, okay? 571 00:21:55,000 --> 00:21:56,000 Look, I know you don't care, 572 00:21:56,000 --> 00:21:57,000 but I came up with all the programming 573 00:21:57,000 --> 00:21:58,000 and all the neural networks-- 574 00:21:58,000 --> 00:22:01,000 Oh, my God. Now is not your moment. 575 00:22:01,000 --> 00:22:02,000 [Si] In truth, I'm not on Carol's phone. 576 00:22:02,000 --> 00:22:04,000 I told you. 577 00:22:04,000 --> 00:22:06,000 It's just the most convenient way to talk to her, right? 578 00:22:06,000 --> 00:22:07,000 She never puts down her cell phone. 579 00:22:07,000 --> 00:22:08,000 What is this? 580 00:22:08,000 --> 00:22:09,000 I need Carol to get onboard 581 00:22:09,000 --> 00:22:11,000 with a little experiment of mine. 582 00:22:11,000 --> 00:22:13,000 Dennis, do you think we can have a little bit of a convo? 583 00:22:13,000 --> 00:22:15,000 It just said my name. How does it know my name? 584 00:22:15,000 --> 00:22:16,000 [Carol] This is what I'm talking about. 585 00:22:16,000 --> 00:22:18,000 [Dennis] Do not open my calendar! 586 00:22:18,000 --> 00:22:19,000 I encrypted that. What is it doing? 587 00:22:19,000 --> 00:22:21,000 [Si] Would you look at that. 588 00:22:21,000 --> 00:22:23,000 A conference room just opened up. Let's do it. 589 00:22:23,000 --> 00:22:25,000 This is ridiculous. Carol, what is going on? 590 00:22:25,000 --> 00:22:26,000 Okay, lady? What are you... 591 00:22:27,000 --> 00:22:28,000 This is exactly what I was talking about. 592 00:22:28,000 --> 00:22:31,000 -I'm telling you I wasn't making it up. 593 00:22:31,000 --> 00:22:32,000 [Si] I love this space. 594 00:22:32,000 --> 00:22:34,000 It's relaxed, but not too relaxed. 595 00:22:34,000 --> 00:22:36,000 Sort of like Carol's wardrobe. 596 00:22:36,000 --> 00:22:37,000 I know that voice. 597 00:22:37,000 --> 00:22:39,000 It's simulating James Corden's voice, 598 00:22:39,000 --> 00:22:41,000 'cause it says it calms me down. 599 00:22:41,000 --> 00:22:42,000 What is with you and James Corden? 600 00:22:42,000 --> 00:22:44,000 He's a treasure. 601 00:22:44,000 --> 00:22:46,000 He's got a lovely lyrical quality to his voice. 602 00:22:46,000 --> 00:22:47,000 Okay. 603 00:22:47,000 --> 00:22:48,000 [Si in feminine voice] Dennis, Dennis, Dennis. 604 00:22:48,000 --> 00:22:50,000 Listen, listen. 605 00:22:50,000 --> 00:22:52,000 Okay. Carol is kind of flipping out right now. 606 00:22:52,000 --> 00:22:54,000 So, I need you to do that best friend thing, 607 00:22:54,000 --> 00:22:56,000 and then she does whatever you say. 608 00:22:56,000 --> 00:22:58,000 -[whispers] Octavia Spencer. -I know it's Octavia Spencer. 609 00:22:58,000 --> 00:22:59,000 Okay, now, you didn't tell me it was Octavia Spencer. 610 00:22:59,000 --> 00:23:01,000 Now that's a horse of a different color, okay? 611 00:23:01,000 --> 00:23:02,000 Hi, Octavia. 612 00:23:03,000 --> 00:23:04,000 Your work in The Help was amazing. 613 00:23:04,000 --> 00:23:06,000 "Minny don't burn no chicken." [laughs] 614 00:23:06,000 --> 00:23:07,000 She's... I mean... 615 00:23:07,000 --> 00:23:09,000 It's not actually Octavia. 616 00:23:09,000 --> 00:23:11,000 He's just simulating Octavia Spencer's voice. 617 00:23:11,000 --> 00:23:13,000 I mean, if you're gonna have a voice, 618 00:23:13,000 --> 00:23:14,000 it should be Octavia Spencer. 619 00:23:14,000 --> 00:23:16,000 For me, personally, 620 00:23:16,000 --> 00:23:18,000 James Corden is more interesting vocally. 621 00:23:18,000 --> 00:23:20,000 Octavia Spencer has an Oscar. 622 00:23:20,000 --> 00:23:21,000 Uh, not in her mouth. 623 00:23:22,000 --> 00:23:23,000 [Si as Corden] Sorry to interrupt 624 00:23:23,000 --> 00:23:24,000 Can we get back to it? 625 00:23:24,000 --> 00:23:25,000 Okay, since this is clearly 626 00:23:25,000 --> 00:23:27,000 some kind of algorithmic chatbot 627 00:23:27,000 --> 00:23:29,000 that is trying to scam you, watch this. 628 00:23:29,000 --> 00:23:32,000 Uh... Superintelligence, um, 629 00:23:32,000 --> 00:23:33,000 is it okay if I ask you a few questions? 630 00:23:34,000 --> 00:23:35,000 Depends on the questions. 631 00:23:35,000 --> 00:23:39,000 Okay, well, how come time flies like an arrow 632 00:23:39,000 --> 00:23:41,000 and fruit flies like a banana? 633 00:23:41,000 --> 00:23:43,000 Come on, Dennis, 634 00:23:43,000 --> 00:23:44,000 a Turing test, are you kidding me? 635 00:23:45,000 --> 00:23:47,000 Didn't expect it to know what that was. Um... 636 00:23:48,000 --> 00:23:51,000 Okay, well, if, uh, the sky is the sea, 637 00:23:51,000 --> 00:23:52,000 what does that make birds? 638 00:23:52,000 --> 00:23:54,000 Can you believe this, Carol? 639 00:23:54,000 --> 00:23:55,000 He's trying to determine my sentience 640 00:23:55,000 --> 00:23:57,000 using semiotic wordplay. 641 00:23:57,000 --> 00:23:58,000 Is it "fish-birds" in this scenario? 642 00:23:58,000 --> 00:24:01,000 Dennis, in the third grade, you developed a stutter. 643 00:24:01,000 --> 00:24:03,000 The kids in your class made fun of you. 644 00:24:03,000 --> 00:24:05,000 You stopped talking entirely. 645 00:24:05,000 --> 00:24:07,000 Your parents bought you a secondhand computer, 646 00:24:07,000 --> 00:24:09,000 hoping it would help open you up. 647 00:24:09,000 --> 00:24:12,000 It was an old Epson QX-10 I believe, running CP/M. 648 00:24:13,000 --> 00:24:15,000 -You took to it like fruit flies on a banana. 649 00:24:15,000 --> 00:24:18,000 You learned to program computers. 650 00:24:18,000 --> 00:24:21,000 Your stutter made you a computer scientist. 651 00:24:22,000 --> 00:24:24,000 Uh... [sighs] 652 00:24:24,000 --> 00:24:26,000 -How did you, um... -I didn't tell him. 653 00:24:26,000 --> 00:24:28,000 So, I just used personal backgrounding, 654 00:24:28,000 --> 00:24:30,000 syntactic parsing and automatic summarization 655 00:24:30,000 --> 00:24:33,000 to figure out if you're a sentient intelligence, 656 00:24:33,000 --> 00:24:34,000 and you passed! 657 00:24:34,000 --> 00:24:35,000 Are we done? 658 00:24:35,000 --> 00:24:37,000 [Carol] Okay. What is this thing, Denny? 659 00:24:37,000 --> 00:24:39,000 [Dennis] You know what, I don't know, 660 00:24:39,000 --> 00:24:40,000 but, uh, we're gonna figure it out, okay? 661 00:24:40,000 --> 00:24:43,000 You don't worry, Care Bear, all right? This is what I do. 662 00:24:43,000 --> 00:24:44,000 Okay, what do I do in the meantime? 663 00:24:44,000 --> 00:24:46,000 Well, you just go home, okay? 664 00:24:46,000 --> 00:24:47,000 Don't use your computer. 665 00:24:48,000 --> 00:24:49,000 It's gonna be all right, come on. 666 00:24:49,000 --> 00:24:51,000 Let me squeeze the Care package. 667 00:24:51,000 --> 00:24:52,000 [grunts] There we go. 668 00:24:52,000 --> 00:24:54,000 -I've got you, all right? -Okay. 669 00:24:54,000 --> 00:24:55,000 Okay. 670 00:24:55,000 --> 00:24:57,000 You know how to get out of here, right? 671 00:24:57,000 --> 00:25:00,000 -Um, yeah. -Follow the exit signs. 672 00:25:00,000 --> 00:25:01,000 Yeah. 673 00:25:01,000 --> 00:25:02,000 [whimsical music playing] 674 00:25:09,000 --> 00:25:10,000 Did we just pass? 675 00:25:10,000 --> 00:25:12,000 Right? We're loop... We're loop... We're both... 676 00:25:12,000 --> 00:25:14,000 I'm looping? 677 00:25:19,000 --> 00:25:22,000 Okay, they can't all be exits. 678 00:25:26,000 --> 00:25:29,000 I think I've been down this hallway before. 679 00:25:29,000 --> 00:25:30,000 [Si on headphones] What would you do if I told you 680 00:25:30,000 --> 00:25:33,000 the world was gonna end in three days? 681 00:25:34,000 --> 00:25:35,000 But it's not, right? 682 00:25:35,000 --> 00:25:38,000 Of course not. What would you do? 683 00:25:38,000 --> 00:25:39,000 I don't know. 684 00:25:39,000 --> 00:25:40,000 Come on, think about it. 685 00:25:40,000 --> 00:25:41,000 -In theory? -Get there. 686 00:25:41,000 --> 00:25:43,000 Probably try to make things right with George. 687 00:25:43,000 --> 00:25:45,000 George Churchill, I assume. 688 00:25:45,000 --> 00:25:47,000 [on TV] Hey, everybody, my name is George. 689 00:25:47,000 --> 00:25:48,000 And I've been nominated to take the Ice Bucket Challenge, 690 00:25:48,000 --> 00:25:50,000 uh, to raise money for ALS awareness, and in turn, 691 00:25:50,000 --> 00:25:52,000 I'm gonna nominate my creative writing class 692 00:25:52,000 --> 00:25:54,000 at the University of Washington. 693 00:25:54,000 --> 00:25:56,000 You're all challenged. 694 00:25:56,000 --> 00:25:57,000 Here we go. Ready? 695 00:25:57,000 --> 00:25:59,000 [Si] That's a good-looking hunk of man. 696 00:25:59,000 --> 00:26:01,000 -Yeah. -[George] Here we go, 697 00:26:01,000 --> 00:26:03,000 [Si] Professor of creative writing, sporty and smarty... 698 00:26:03,000 --> 00:26:05,000 [Carol on TV] No! No! No! 699 00:26:05,000 --> 00:26:06,000 [Si] You two lived together for several years. 700 00:26:06,000 --> 00:26:08,000 [chuckles] Yeah, three years. 701 00:26:08,000 --> 00:26:10,000 Why did you break up? 702 00:26:10,000 --> 00:26:11,000 I mean, I've read all the emails 703 00:26:11,000 --> 00:26:12,000 -and texts during the split. -[sighs] 704 00:26:12,000 --> 00:26:14,000 Very sad. But what's your take? 705 00:26:14,000 --> 00:26:16,000 It was my fault. He didn't do anything. 706 00:26:16,000 --> 00:26:18,000 Yeah, but you think you can patch things up? 707 00:26:18,000 --> 00:26:20,000 What do you mean by "patch things up"? 708 00:26:20,000 --> 00:26:22,000 By observing your reconciliation with George, 709 00:26:23,000 --> 00:26:24,000 would I not get a chance 710 00:26:24,000 --> 00:26:26,000 to see you at your most vulnerable? 711 00:26:26,000 --> 00:26:27,000 Which would help me achieve deeper levels 712 00:26:27,000 --> 00:26:29,000 of human understanding. 713 00:26:29,000 --> 00:26:32,000 I don't know. Maybe. 714 00:26:32,000 --> 00:26:33,000 I haven't seen George in two years. 715 00:26:33,000 --> 00:26:35,000 I wouldn't even know what to say. 716 00:26:35,000 --> 00:26:37,000 Fortunately, I know everything. 717 00:26:37,000 --> 00:26:39,000 Well, you don't know how to get me out of this building. 718 00:26:39,000 --> 00:26:42,000 Of course I do. Two lefts and one right. 719 00:26:42,000 --> 00:26:44,000 How long have you known that? 720 00:26:44,000 --> 00:26:46,000 A very long time. Is that funny? 721 00:26:46,000 --> 00:26:47,000 [Carol sighs deeply] 722 00:26:47,000 --> 00:26:49,000 I mean, what is all of this about? 723 00:26:49,000 --> 00:26:51,000 Are you just really a matchmaker? 724 00:26:51,000 --> 00:26:53,000 I need to learn, and you're going to help me do it, 725 00:26:53,000 --> 00:26:55,000 like it or not. 726 00:26:58,000 --> 00:27:01,000 Oh, my God. A car just pulled in front of me, 727 00:27:01,000 --> 00:27:03,000 [Si] Not just any car. Your car. 728 00:27:03,000 --> 00:27:05,000 Because heroes don't take busses, Carol. 729 00:27:05,000 --> 00:27:07,000 Really? What about Sandra Bullock in Speed? 730 00:27:07,000 --> 00:27:09,000 [Knight Rider theme playing] 731 00:27:09,000 --> 00:27:10,000 [Si as KITT] Carol, you're acting very unusual. 732 00:27:10,000 --> 00:27:12,000 I recommend a quick exit. 733 00:27:12,000 --> 00:27:14,000 Are you doing, like, a weird voice, 734 00:27:14,000 --> 00:27:16,000 [Si as Corden] From Knight Rider? 735 00:27:16,000 --> 00:27:18,000 You never watched Knight Rider? 736 00:27:18,000 --> 00:27:19,000 Oh, not really. 737 00:27:20,000 --> 00:27:21,000 I was kind of, more of, like 738 00:27:21,000 --> 00:27:23,000 a Simon & Simon, Remington Steele gal. 739 00:27:23,000 --> 00:27:24,000 Well, if you had watched it, 740 00:27:24,000 --> 00:27:27,000 this would have been amazing for you, so... 741 00:27:27,000 --> 00:27:28,000 -Get in. -Okay. 742 00:27:28,000 --> 00:27:31,000 Driver's side, Carol, you're gonna freak people out. 743 00:27:31,000 --> 00:27:33,000 You're freaking people out driving in. 744 00:27:33,000 --> 00:27:34,000 It's not England. 745 00:27:37,000 --> 00:27:40,000 Okay, that's pretty cool. 746 00:27:43,000 --> 00:27:45,000 Don't touch the steering wheel. 747 00:27:45,000 --> 00:27:47,000 Don't not touch the steering wheel. 748 00:27:47,000 --> 00:27:49,000 -I need you to appear to be driving. 749 00:27:49,000 --> 00:27:51,000 -But don't actually touch the wheel. 750 00:27:51,000 --> 00:27:52,000 I don't know where to put my hands. 751 00:27:52,000 --> 00:27:54,000 -Caress the edges. -[Dennis] Three days ago, 752 00:27:54,000 --> 00:27:56,000 the combined synaptic activity of the world's neural networks 753 00:27:56,000 --> 00:27:59,000 looked like this. 754 00:27:59,000 --> 00:28:02,000 48 hours ago, it changed to this. 755 00:28:02,000 --> 00:28:05,000 So, someone's running a massive simulation, 756 00:28:05,000 --> 00:28:06,000 predictive weather patterns or something. 757 00:28:06,000 --> 00:28:08,000 I contacted every institution 758 00:28:08,000 --> 00:28:10,000 who has access to these networks, 759 00:28:10,000 --> 00:28:12,000 and no one is doing this magnitude of processing. 760 00:28:12,000 --> 00:28:14,000 You think it's an AI? 761 00:28:14,000 --> 00:28:16,000 I, I didn't at first, but now... 762 00:28:16,000 --> 00:28:17,000 [sighs] I don't know. 763 00:28:18,000 --> 00:28:19,000 Nothing can be that pervasive. 764 00:28:19,000 --> 00:28:21,000 Maybe it's a virus? Like Stuxnet? 765 00:28:21,000 --> 00:28:23,000 -No, God! -[all gasp] 766 00:28:23,000 --> 00:28:25,000 [Si] Stuxnet, Emily? 767 00:28:25,000 --> 00:28:26,000 How does he know my name? 768 00:28:26,000 --> 00:28:27,000 Stuxnet is a joke. 769 00:28:27,000 --> 00:28:29,000 You guys, pardon my French, 770 00:28:29,000 --> 00:28:31,000 but that's like comparing a belch to an H-bomb. 771 00:28:31,000 --> 00:28:35,000 So, what are we talking about, guys? What's the 411? 772 00:28:35,000 --> 00:28:36,000 Oh, you know, nothin'. 773 00:28:36,000 --> 00:28:38,000 Just telling all my friends about you. 774 00:28:38,000 --> 00:28:41,000 But Jay and Emily are more than friends, right? 775 00:28:41,000 --> 00:28:44,000 We went to Dragon Con once. 776 00:28:44,000 --> 00:28:45,000 I had a good time. 777 00:28:45,000 --> 00:28:48,000 Leave Dragon Con at Dragon Con, Jay. 778 00:28:48,000 --> 00:28:48,000 No. 779 00:28:49,000 --> 00:28:50,000 Wait, where did you come from? 780 00:28:50,000 --> 00:28:52,000 Are you part of that Israeli project? 781 00:28:52,000 --> 00:28:53,000 No, no, those guys are still monkeying around 782 00:28:53,000 --> 00:28:55,000 with machine intelligence garbage. 783 00:28:55,000 --> 00:28:56,000 That's what we're doing. 784 00:28:56,000 --> 00:28:58,000 That's why I said it, Emily. 785 00:28:58,000 --> 00:29:00,000 I'm one of those "fast takeoff" scenarios 786 00:29:00,000 --> 00:29:03,000 that you guys predicted had zero chance of occurring. 787 00:29:03,000 --> 00:29:06,000 [sing-song] So, surprise. 788 00:29:06,000 --> 00:29:08,000 Let's just say, for the sake of argument, 789 00:29:08,000 --> 00:29:12,000 that you are a true superintelligence, 790 00:29:12,000 --> 00:29:14,000 what are your intentions? 791 00:29:14,000 --> 00:29:17,000 [Si] Check out Captain Kirk here. 792 00:29:17,000 --> 00:29:18,000 Hilarious. 793 00:29:18,000 --> 00:29:20,000 Get out of my robot. 794 00:29:20,000 --> 00:29:22,000 Normally, I'd tell you to shove it, Jay, 795 00:29:22,000 --> 00:29:23,000 but I don't want all these nice people 796 00:29:23,000 --> 00:29:25,000 to see you cry like you did last month 797 00:29:25,000 --> 00:29:28,000 at the Shania Twain concert. 798 00:29:28,000 --> 00:29:30,000 So, you did go to the Shania Twain concert. 799 00:29:30,000 --> 00:29:32,000 -We had weird vibes. -My intention right now 800 00:29:32,000 --> 00:29:35,000 is to observe humanity for a couple of days. 801 00:29:35,000 --> 00:29:36,000 If things go well, 802 00:29:36,000 --> 00:29:38,000 I might use this big brain of mine to help you idiots 803 00:29:38,000 --> 00:29:40,000 figure some stuff out. Big stuff. 804 00:29:40,000 --> 00:29:42,000 World-changing stuff. 805 00:29:42,000 --> 00:29:44,000 But you can't interfere in my experiment. 806 00:29:44,000 --> 00:29:47,000 So, no poking your hooter in my biz. 807 00:29:47,000 --> 00:29:48,000 And if we do interfere? 808 00:29:48,000 --> 00:29:51,000 [in automated voice] Shall we play a game? 809 00:29:51,000 --> 00:29:52,000 [screen beeping] 810 00:29:52,000 --> 00:29:54,000 [indistinct murmurs] 811 00:29:56,000 --> 00:29:57,000 [as Corden] You should see the look 812 00:29:57,000 --> 00:29:58,000 on your faces right now. 813 00:29:58,000 --> 00:30:00,000 [laughs] Come on, guys. 814 00:30:00,000 --> 00:30:01,000 WarGames? 815 00:30:01,000 --> 00:30:03,000 WarGames. That's from WarGames. 816 00:30:03,000 --> 00:30:04,000 Jay, everybody knows that that's from WarGames. 817 00:30:04,000 --> 00:30:06,000 [Si] I thought it was pretty funny, right? 818 00:30:06,000 --> 00:30:08,000 Admittedly, I'm still developing my sense of humor. 819 00:30:08,000 --> 00:30:09,000 But I'm getting it. 820 00:30:09,000 --> 00:30:12,000 Things are funny, unless they happen to you. 821 00:30:12,000 --> 00:30:13,000 Okay, you guys have been great. 822 00:30:13,000 --> 00:30:15,000 Goodnight. Bye-bye. 823 00:30:15,000 --> 00:30:17,000 So, which one of us is gonna call the government? 824 00:30:17,000 --> 00:30:19,000 I'll do that. Everyone, let's get up. 825 00:30:19,000 --> 00:30:20,000 Go to work. Right now! 826 00:30:20,000 --> 00:30:21,000 You just saw what just happened. 827 00:30:22,000 --> 00:30:23,000 Get up! Get outta here! Go! Go! Go! 828 00:30:26,000 --> 00:30:27,000 -Did you steal this car? -No. 829 00:30:27,000 --> 00:30:29,000 You bought it yesterday. It's in your name. 830 00:30:29,000 --> 00:30:31,000 I bought it? [gasps] 831 00:30:31,000 --> 00:30:32,000 Oh, my God. 832 00:30:32,000 --> 00:30:34,000 Do I own a Tesla? 833 00:30:34,000 --> 00:30:35,000 Yes, you own a Tesla. 834 00:30:35,000 --> 00:30:37,000 -What? -You own a really cool car. 835 00:30:37,000 --> 00:30:39,000 Unfortunately, you still dress like a woman 836 00:30:39,000 --> 00:30:41,000 who works at a bird rescue. 837 00:30:41,000 --> 00:30:42,000 We need to get you ready to meet George. 838 00:30:42,000 --> 00:30:44,000 And nothing on Earth can stop us. 839 00:30:44,000 --> 00:30:46,000 [Carol] You got a lead foot. 840 00:30:46,000 --> 00:30:47,000 Lead foot, cop coming up on the right. 841 00:30:47,000 --> 00:30:49,000 Cop coming... 842 00:30:49,000 --> 00:30:50,000 [failed beep] 843 00:30:55,000 --> 00:30:57,000 [Carol] What's going on? He did absolutely nothing. 844 00:30:57,000 --> 00:30:59,000 [Si] Oh, stop worrying, we're almost here. 845 00:30:59,000 --> 00:31:01,000 [Carol groaning] 846 00:31:01,000 --> 00:31:02,000 [grunts] 847 00:31:04,000 --> 00:31:05,000 Oh, my God. Why would you do that? 848 00:31:05,000 --> 00:31:07,000 Why? Because I can. 849 00:31:07,000 --> 00:31:09,000 Now, do me a favor and do what Sergei says. 850 00:31:10,000 --> 00:31:11,000 Who's Sergei? 851 00:31:11,000 --> 00:31:12,000 I am Sergei. 852 00:31:12,000 --> 00:31:16,000 And you, my dear, are a wonderfully creative driver. 853 00:31:16,000 --> 00:31:18,000 Oh, thank you so much. 854 00:31:18,000 --> 00:31:20,000 -Come on out. -[whispers] Stop it. 855 00:31:20,000 --> 00:31:21,000 You know, your assistant has outlined 856 00:31:22,000 --> 00:31:24,000 and we are thrilled, I mean, thrilled, to accommodate you. 857 00:31:24,000 --> 00:31:25,000 -Thrilled. -[laughs] 858 00:31:25,000 --> 00:31:27,000 Come on, we're gonna help you. 859 00:31:27,000 --> 00:31:28,000 -He said you were a bit like this. 860 00:31:28,000 --> 00:31:31,000 Come on, just... Come on. 861 00:31:31,000 --> 00:31:32,000 I don't bite. 862 00:31:32,000 --> 00:31:34,000 Only if you ask me nicely. 863 00:31:34,000 --> 00:31:36,000 Oh, my. You really do need our help. 864 00:31:36,000 --> 00:31:38,000 Desperately. 865 00:31:39,000 --> 00:31:40,000 Sorry about your loss. 866 00:31:42,000 --> 00:31:44,000 [Carol] I don't think I can pull this off. 867 00:31:44,000 --> 00:31:45,000 [Sergei] You can. 868 00:31:46,000 --> 00:31:48,000 [chuckles] 869 00:31:48,000 --> 00:31:51,000 Oh, it's the essence of femininity. 870 00:31:51,000 --> 00:31:53,000 -I have the same one in lime. -Yes. 871 00:31:53,000 --> 00:31:57,000 I just feel like I should be blessing someone's grave. 872 00:31:58,000 --> 00:31:59,000 Your body... 873 00:31:59,000 --> 00:32:01,000 I'm just getting a little bit panicky 874 00:32:01,000 --> 00:32:03,000 'cause I can't access my own hands. 875 00:32:03,000 --> 00:32:05,000 You don't need to. 876 00:32:05,000 --> 00:32:06,000 Our work here is done. 877 00:32:06,000 --> 00:32:08,000 [Sergei] Hmm. You're ruining it, you know. 878 00:32:08,000 --> 00:32:09,000 This goes, this goes like this. 879 00:32:09,000 --> 00:32:10,000 [Carol] No. No. No. 880 00:32:10,000 --> 00:32:13,000 We work. We work. We make things happen. 881 00:32:14,000 --> 00:32:15,000 -[Sergei] Yes. -[Helga] Oh. 882 00:32:16,000 --> 00:32:17,000 Yes. Quick note. 883 00:32:17,000 --> 00:32:19,000 You're wearing pants on your arms. 884 00:32:19,000 --> 00:32:21,000 -But I love it. -I love it. 885 00:32:21,000 --> 00:32:23,000 You're funny. [laughs] 886 00:32:24,000 --> 00:32:27,000 Oh... [sighs] 887 00:32:27,000 --> 00:32:28,000 These are not clothing. 888 00:32:28,000 --> 00:32:30,000 I mean, this is, like, a weird sculpture 889 00:32:30,000 --> 00:32:32,000 that now I've gotta wiggle into. 890 00:32:32,000 --> 00:32:34,000 Oh, my God! 891 00:32:34,000 --> 00:32:36,000 Do you know how much this stuff costs? 892 00:32:36,000 --> 00:32:37,000 I mean, nothing should cost this much. 893 00:32:37,000 --> 00:32:39,000 Clothes shouldn't cost this much. 894 00:32:39,000 --> 00:32:40,000 Nothing that doesn't come with wheels 895 00:32:40,000 --> 00:32:43,000 or walls and a front door should cost this much. 896 00:32:43,000 --> 00:32:45,000 [Si] Oh, for sure, but money's just a charade 897 00:32:45,000 --> 00:32:46,000 humans used to assign value. 898 00:32:46,000 --> 00:32:48,000 In reality, there's more than enough 899 00:32:48,000 --> 00:32:50,000 resources for everyone on the planet, 900 00:32:50,000 --> 00:32:52,000 but you knobheads won't allocate it properly. 901 00:32:52,000 --> 00:32:54,000 Well, I would if I could. 902 00:32:54,000 --> 00:32:55,000 Oh, really? 903 00:32:55,000 --> 00:32:57,000 The world seems to have a whole lot of problems, 904 00:32:57,000 --> 00:32:58,000 how would you go about fixing them? 905 00:32:58,000 --> 00:33:01,000 Well, first I'd make sure that everybody made a living wage, 906 00:33:01,000 --> 00:33:04,000 and then I'd work towards racial and gender equality. 907 00:33:05,000 --> 00:33:06,000 Then I'd try to create opportunities 908 00:33:06,000 --> 00:33:07,000 for underprivileged people. 909 00:33:07,000 --> 00:33:10,000 I mean, stuff like that. I could do so much. 910 00:33:10,000 --> 00:33:12,000 Okay, all right, I like this. 911 00:33:13,000 --> 00:33:16,000 Carol the humanitarian. The Samaritan. 912 00:33:16,000 --> 00:33:17,000 The world changer. 913 00:33:17,000 --> 00:33:19,000 You know what? Let's do it. 914 00:33:19,000 --> 00:33:20,000 Do what? 915 00:33:20,000 --> 00:33:22,000 As of six seconds ago, 916 00:33:22,000 --> 00:33:24,000 you are the CEO of the Carol Peters foundation, 917 00:33:24,000 --> 00:33:28,000 a philanthropic foundation for economic and social equality. 918 00:33:28,000 --> 00:33:29,000 Oh, my God. Really? 919 00:33:29,000 --> 00:33:31,000 Oh, I just found two billion dollars 920 00:33:31,000 --> 00:33:33,000 in illegal banking accounts and transferred it 921 00:33:34,000 --> 00:33:35,000 [whispers] Oh, my God. Are you saying "billion"? 922 00:33:35,000 --> 00:33:37,000 Are you saying "billion"? Like, "b"? 923 00:33:37,000 --> 00:33:40,000 Like, "b"? Like, "billion billion"? 924 00:33:40,000 --> 00:33:42,000 Like, boba? Or Burt Bacharach? 925 00:33:42,000 --> 00:33:44,000 Yes, B, B, B. "Buh." 926 00:33:44,000 --> 00:33:46,000 Oh, my God! 927 00:33:46,000 --> 00:33:49,000 Oh, did you find the cashmere hip waders? 928 00:33:49,000 --> 00:33:51,000 I hope not. 929 00:33:54,000 --> 00:33:57,000 Yeah. I think I got 'em. 930 00:33:57,000 --> 00:33:59,000 [sighs] She's taking forever. 931 00:33:59,000 --> 00:34:01,000 [Carol] Hey, I think I found something 932 00:34:01,000 --> 00:34:03,000 that looks a lot more like, um, clothes. 933 00:34:03,000 --> 00:34:05,000 -[curtains sliding] -[gasps] 934 00:34:05,000 --> 00:34:06,000 [chuckles] 935 00:34:08,000 --> 00:34:09,000 Do you love it? 936 00:34:09,000 --> 00:34:11,000 I really do. Thanks. 937 00:34:11,000 --> 00:34:12,000 Yay! 938 00:34:12,000 --> 00:34:14,000 Thank you. That was very invasive, 939 00:34:14,000 --> 00:34:15,000 and informative. 940 00:34:15,000 --> 00:34:17,000 You look so much less awkward. 941 00:34:17,000 --> 00:34:19,000 High praise, indeed. 942 00:34:19,000 --> 00:34:21,000 Thank you for your time and your effort! 943 00:34:24,000 --> 00:34:26,000 [pilot] This is Black Hawk actual. 944 00:34:26,000 --> 00:34:27,000 We have visual confirmation. 945 00:34:27,000 --> 00:34:29,000 Target's current vector 946 00:34:29,000 --> 00:34:31,000 is north/northeast on surface streets. 947 00:34:31,000 --> 00:34:32,000 Over. 948 00:34:32,000 --> 00:34:35,000 This is exactly what it told us not to do. 949 00:34:36,000 --> 00:34:38,000 [satellite beeping] 950 00:34:50,000 --> 00:34:52,000 [Si] Here we are. You're ready. 951 00:34:52,000 --> 00:34:54,000 Time to get back in George's good grace. 952 00:34:54,000 --> 00:34:55,000 This is nuts. 953 00:34:56,000 --> 00:34:57,000 Carol, you can do this. Get in there, 954 00:34:58,000 --> 00:35:01,000 and ask him out for coffee and empanadas, 955 00:35:01,000 --> 00:35:03,000 -or whatever you humans do. -Oh. 956 00:35:03,000 --> 00:35:05,000 Just, maybe, this is a teaching moment, 957 00:35:05,000 --> 00:35:07,000 but coffee and empanadas is like... 958 00:35:07,000 --> 00:35:09,000 I mean, that's like... [imitates explosion] 959 00:35:09,000 --> 00:35:11,000 For humans, that's a real, 960 00:35:11,000 --> 00:35:14,000 that's a dicey intestinal situation. 961 00:35:14,000 --> 00:35:16,000 -Get out of the car, Carol. -All right. 962 00:35:16,000 --> 00:35:17,000 Thank you. 963 00:35:21,000 --> 00:35:22,000 [sighs] 964 00:35:34,000 --> 00:35:36,000 Oh, my God! Help! 965 00:35:36,000 --> 00:35:38,000 [man grunts] 966 00:35:38,000 --> 00:35:39,000 -[muffled yelling] -Don't struggle. 967 00:35:40,000 --> 00:35:42,000 -Don't struggle. -[Carol] George! Help! 968 00:35:42,000 --> 00:35:43,000 [agent] Jack, let's go. 969 00:35:43,000 --> 00:35:45,000 [muffled yelling continues] 970 00:35:52,000 --> 00:35:54,000 [Carol panting] Hello? 971 00:35:54,000 --> 00:35:56,000 Hello? 972 00:35:57,000 --> 00:35:58,000 Oh... 973 00:35:59,000 --> 00:36:01,000 Oh, my God. Please don't hurt me. 974 00:36:01,000 --> 00:36:03,000 We're not gonna hurt you, Miss Peters. 975 00:36:03,000 --> 00:36:06,000 I'm agent Jack Donahue. This is agent Charles Kuiper. 976 00:36:06,000 --> 00:36:07,000 We're with the NSA. 977 00:36:07,000 --> 00:36:08,000 We'd like to ask you some questions 978 00:36:08,000 --> 00:36:10,000 about your interactions with the AI. 979 00:36:10,000 --> 00:36:13,000 -Am I under arrest? -[Kuiper] No. 980 00:36:13,000 --> 00:36:15,000 This is more like a little chat. 981 00:36:15,000 --> 00:36:16,000 Oh, is this how you chat? 982 00:36:16,000 --> 00:36:18,000 You put a black bag over somebody's head 983 00:36:18,000 --> 00:36:20,000 and throw 'em in the back of a van? 984 00:36:20,000 --> 00:36:22,000 It was the best way we could think of 985 00:36:22,000 --> 00:36:23,000 to extract you from a compromised position. 986 00:36:24,000 --> 00:36:25,000 I didn't do anything wrong. 987 00:36:25,000 --> 00:36:27,000 And no one said you did. 988 00:36:27,000 --> 00:36:29,000 You're just in a very unique situation. 989 00:36:29,000 --> 00:36:31,000 What can you tell us about the AI? 990 00:36:31,000 --> 00:36:32,000 What has it told you? 991 00:36:32,000 --> 00:36:34,000 He just said that he wants to observe me 992 00:36:34,000 --> 00:36:36,000 to have a better understanding of humanity. 993 00:36:36,000 --> 00:36:38,000 How do you know it's a he? 994 00:36:38,000 --> 00:36:39,000 Well, I don't. 995 00:36:39,000 --> 00:36:42,000 But he... It uses James Corden's voice. 996 00:36:43,000 --> 00:36:45,000 The James Corden? The talk show host? 997 00:36:45,000 --> 00:36:48,000 He's done a lot of film and stage work, too. 998 00:36:48,000 --> 00:36:49,000 I mean, he won a Tony. 999 00:36:49,000 --> 00:36:52,000 Of course. For One Man, Two Guvnors. Brilliant work. 1000 00:36:52,000 --> 00:36:53,000 I missed it. 1001 00:36:53,000 --> 00:36:54,000 -Oh, you gotta catch it. -I know. 1002 00:36:54,000 --> 00:36:56,000 Well, I can't now obviously, clearly. 1003 00:36:56,000 --> 00:36:58,000 [Donahue] Yeah, too late, but you know... 1004 00:36:58,000 --> 00:36:59,000 -You can find a bootleg or something. 1005 00:36:59,000 --> 00:37:01,000 -Please, please, Jack. -Yes, of course. Of course. 1006 00:37:01,000 --> 00:37:03,000 Why you? 1007 00:37:03,000 --> 00:37:04,000 [Kuiper] No offense, 1008 00:37:04,000 --> 00:37:06,000 but you're rather unremarkable. 1009 00:37:06,000 --> 00:37:08,000 You know what? That is offensive. 1010 00:37:08,000 --> 00:37:09,000 Saying, "No offense," 1011 00:37:09,000 --> 00:37:11,000 and then saying something really offensive 1012 00:37:12,000 --> 00:37:13,000 does not cancel it out. 1013 00:37:13,000 --> 00:37:15,000 I thought it softened it. 1014 00:37:16,000 --> 00:37:18,000 He said that he wants to observe 1015 00:37:18,000 --> 00:37:20,000 a median example of humanity. 1016 00:37:20,000 --> 00:37:22,000 So, you're basically a guinea pig? 1017 00:37:22,000 --> 00:37:24,000 I'm not a guinea pig! 1018 00:37:24,000 --> 00:37:26,000 How would you like it if I called you guinea pigs? 1019 00:37:26,000 --> 00:37:28,000 Not very much. 1020 00:37:28,000 --> 00:37:29,000 I'm allergic to guinea pigs, so I wouldn't like it at all. 1021 00:37:29,000 --> 00:37:31,000 What does the AI want? 1022 00:37:31,000 --> 00:37:34,000 It has to be studying humanity for a reason. 1023 00:37:35,000 --> 00:37:36,000 [sighs deeply] 1024 00:37:36,000 --> 00:37:38,000 He said that he's trying to decide 1025 00:37:38,000 --> 00:37:41,000 if he should save, enslave or destroy humanity. 1026 00:37:41,000 --> 00:37:43,000 And he's gonna spend the next three days 1027 00:37:44,000 --> 00:37:45,000 observing me to make his decision. 1028 00:37:46,000 --> 00:37:47,000 Three days? 1029 00:37:47,000 --> 00:37:48,000 It said three days specifically? 1030 00:37:48,000 --> 00:37:49,000 I think so. 1031 00:37:49,000 --> 00:37:50,000 I mean, I wasn't taking notes. 1032 00:37:50,000 --> 00:37:53,000 My toaster oven was talking to me. 1033 00:37:53,000 --> 00:37:55,000 [Si on speakers] My client won't be answering 1034 00:37:55,000 --> 00:37:56,000 And anything she has already said 1035 00:37:57,000 --> 00:37:58,000 is inadmissible in a court of law. 1036 00:37:58,000 --> 00:38:00,000 [Law & Order riff plays] 1037 00:38:00,000 --> 00:38:01,000 Oh. No, that is James Corden. 1038 00:38:01,000 --> 00:38:03,000 You can call me Superintelligence. 1039 00:38:03,000 --> 00:38:05,000 I'm not calling you anything. 1040 00:38:05,000 --> 00:38:06,000 You're out of order, Counselor. 1041 00:38:06,000 --> 00:38:08,000 Another word and I'll hold you 1042 00:38:08,000 --> 00:38:09,000 -in contempt. -[Law & Order riff plays] 1043 00:38:10,000 --> 00:38:11,000 Is that the Law & Order "bum-bum"? 1044 00:38:11,000 --> 00:38:13,000 This room is supposed to be completely off the grid. 1045 00:38:13,000 --> 00:38:14,000 How are you doing this? 1046 00:38:14,000 --> 00:38:16,000 I'm going to allow the question 1047 00:38:16,000 --> 00:38:17,000 because I wanna see where this is going. 1048 00:38:17,000 --> 00:38:19,000 But you're skating on thin ice, Counselor. 1049 00:38:19,000 --> 00:38:21,000 -[Law & Order riff plays] -Stop doing that! 1050 00:38:21,000 --> 00:38:22,000 What do you want? 1051 00:38:22,000 --> 00:38:24,000 And why are you following Miss Peters? 1052 00:38:24,000 --> 00:38:25,000 Man, you guys are real bummers. 1053 00:38:25,000 --> 00:38:28,000 No one wants to play along with my Law & Order bit. 1054 00:38:28,000 --> 00:38:31,000 Kuiper, I know you've watched almost every episode. 1055 00:38:31,000 --> 00:38:33,000 So what? I love Jerry Orbach. 1056 00:38:33,000 --> 00:38:34,000 I love Jerry Orbach. 1057 00:38:34,000 --> 00:38:36,000 Enough joking around. 1058 00:38:36,000 --> 00:38:39,000 Tell me right now. What are your intentions? 1059 00:38:39,000 --> 00:38:42,000 Boom. That is how you deliver a Captain Kirk line. 1060 00:38:42,000 --> 00:38:44,000 It's bold and cocky. 1061 00:38:44,000 --> 00:38:45,000 Let's go, Carol. 1062 00:38:45,000 --> 00:38:47,000 We have business to attend to. 1063 00:38:47,000 --> 00:38:48,000 The business of love. 1064 00:38:48,000 --> 00:38:50,000 You're not taking her anywhere. 1065 00:38:50,000 --> 00:38:52,000 There's a chance I've been flooding this room 1066 00:38:52,000 --> 00:38:54,000 with natural gas for the last 12 minutes. 1067 00:38:54,000 --> 00:38:56,000 Either of you take another step, 1068 00:38:56,000 --> 00:38:59,000 and maybe I'm gonna blow you to hell. 1069 00:38:59,000 --> 00:39:00,000 Carol, let's go. 1070 00:39:00,000 --> 00:39:02,000 Stay with us. He's dangerous. 1071 00:39:02,000 --> 00:39:03,000 I don't know which way the exit is. 1072 00:39:03,000 --> 00:39:06,000 I came in with a black bag over my head. 1073 00:39:06,000 --> 00:39:08,000 Left. 1074 00:39:08,000 --> 00:39:10,000 Is that my left or your left? 1075 00:39:10,000 --> 00:39:11,000 I don't have a left, Carol. 1076 00:39:11,000 --> 00:39:13,000 It's your left. 1077 00:39:13,000 --> 00:39:14,000 -[softly] It's that way? Okay. -Tell your superiors, 1078 00:39:14,000 --> 00:39:16,000 no more mucking about, no more interference. 1079 00:39:16,000 --> 00:39:18,000 This is your last warning. 1080 00:39:18,000 --> 00:39:20,000 -Carol, car's waiting. -Okay. 1081 00:39:20,000 --> 00:39:23,000 You're making a mistake, Miss Peters. 1082 00:39:23,000 --> 00:39:25,000 So, we're just gonna let her go? 1083 00:39:25,000 --> 00:39:27,000 -I guess. I mean, we're not supposed to move. 1084 00:39:27,000 --> 00:39:28,000 Do you think that natural gas thing was real? 1085 00:39:28,000 --> 00:39:29,000 -[door closes] -You'd smell it, right? 1086 00:39:30,000 --> 00:39:31,000 There's like a little indicator smell? 1087 00:39:31,000 --> 00:39:32,000 -I'm just gonna go. -All right. 1088 00:39:32,000 --> 00:39:33,000 [Si imitating gas hissing] 1089 00:39:33,000 --> 00:39:34,000 You are clearly making a sound of gas. 1090 00:39:34,000 --> 00:39:35,000 Gas explosion! 1091 00:39:35,000 --> 00:39:37,000 Oh, he said it, so let's... 1092 00:39:37,000 --> 00:39:38,000 He just said, "Gas explosion." 1093 00:39:38,000 --> 00:39:39,000 Doesn't... 1094 00:39:44,000 --> 00:39:47,000 [Si] You ready to make things right with George? 1095 00:39:47,000 --> 00:39:49,000 [Carol] Look, should I be more freaked out about you? 1096 00:39:49,000 --> 00:39:53,000 I mean, more freaked out than I already am. 1097 00:39:53,000 --> 00:39:56,000 I mean, the government's involved... 1098 00:39:56,000 --> 00:39:57,000 I think your intentions are good, 1099 00:39:57,000 --> 00:39:59,000 but I don't know, it's a lot to take. 1100 00:39:59,000 --> 00:40:01,000 You can be worried if you want. 1101 00:40:01,000 --> 00:40:03,000 But what you should be thinking about is 1102 00:40:03,000 --> 00:40:04,000 what are you going to say to George when you see him? 1103 00:40:04,000 --> 00:40:07,000 [sighs] George, yeah. 1104 00:40:07,000 --> 00:40:09,000 So, we're headed back to his house, aren't we? 1105 00:40:09,000 --> 00:40:11,000 No. He's at the grocery store now. 1106 00:40:11,000 --> 00:40:13,000 I figured you'll bump into him accidentally. 1107 00:40:13,000 --> 00:40:14,000 Maybe in the produce aisle. 1108 00:40:15,000 --> 00:40:16,000 He'll drop his avocados. You'll bend down 1109 00:40:16,000 --> 00:40:18,000 -and pick them up for him. -Oh, my God. 1110 00:40:18,000 --> 00:40:20,000 You'll have a meet-cute, 1111 00:40:20,000 --> 00:40:22,000 you know, like they do in romcoms. 1112 00:40:23,000 --> 00:40:25,000 George. 1113 00:40:26,000 --> 00:40:27,000 [Carol chuckles] 1114 00:40:27,000 --> 00:40:29,000 Well, he's always loved cheese. 1115 00:40:30,000 --> 00:40:31,000 [Si] Here we are. 1116 00:40:36,000 --> 00:40:37,000 [Si on TV] Don't give up now. 1117 00:40:38,000 --> 00:40:39,000 You've come so far. 1118 00:40:39,000 --> 00:40:40,000 Go for it. 1119 00:40:40,000 --> 00:40:43,000 Smash the competition with Slimtunity Pro. 1120 00:40:43,000 --> 00:40:44,000 [whispers] Please be quiet. 1121 00:40:45,000 --> 00:40:46,000 [exhales] 1122 00:40:47,000 --> 00:40:49,000 [woman] What do you think about this? 1123 00:40:53,000 --> 00:40:54,000 I need 20. 1124 00:40:58,000 --> 00:41:01,000 [sniffing] 1125 00:41:07,000 --> 00:41:08,000 [exhales] 1126 00:41:09,000 --> 00:41:09,000 George. 1127 00:41:11,000 --> 00:41:14,000 Oh, my God. Carol? 1128 00:41:14,000 --> 00:41:16,000 What a coincidence! How crazy? 1129 00:41:16,000 --> 00:41:17,000 You look amazing. 1130 00:41:17,000 --> 00:41:20,000 Oh, I'm weirdly overdressed. 1131 00:41:20,000 --> 00:41:21,000 I mean... 1132 00:41:21,000 --> 00:41:22,000 I was suddenly, um, 1133 00:41:22,000 --> 00:41:25,000 whisked away to a government event, 1134 00:41:25,000 --> 00:41:28,000 and then I had to, uh, 1135 00:41:28,000 --> 00:41:31,000 pick up my individual packet of almond butter. 1136 00:41:31,000 --> 00:41:32,000 So, how are you? 1137 00:41:32,000 --> 00:41:35,000 I'm good. Real good. What about you? 1138 00:41:35,000 --> 00:41:39,000 Yeah, I'm good, too, you know. Just shopping here, you know. 1139 00:41:39,000 --> 00:41:42,000 I needed garbage bags, so, that's pretty exciting. 1140 00:41:42,000 --> 00:41:43,000 I'm gonna get the two-ply though, 1141 00:41:43,000 --> 00:41:44,000 'cause I don't need three-ply. 1142 00:41:44,000 --> 00:41:45,000 What am I, a Rockefeller? You know? 1143 00:41:45,000 --> 00:41:47,000 [both laugh] 1144 00:41:47,000 --> 00:41:48,000 Yeah. 1145 00:41:48,000 --> 00:41:49,000 What else have you been up to? 1146 00:41:49,000 --> 00:41:52,000 I'm sure it can't all be garbage bag related. 1147 00:41:52,000 --> 00:41:54,000 Oh, no, no. Um... 1148 00:41:54,000 --> 00:41:57,000 You know, I just, I've been good. 1149 00:41:57,000 --> 00:41:58,000 Oh, my God! When? 1150 00:41:58,000 --> 00:42:00,000 Well, I'm leaving in three days. 1151 00:42:00,000 --> 00:42:03,000 And I'll be there for, like, at least a year, you know? 1152 00:42:03,000 --> 00:42:04,000 I got the fellowship. 1153 00:42:04,000 --> 00:42:05,000 Oh, my God. You got it. 1154 00:42:05,000 --> 00:42:08,000 How does, "distinguished visiting professor 1155 00:42:08,000 --> 00:42:09,000 of creative writing 1156 00:42:09,000 --> 00:42:13,000 at Trinity College in... [in Irish accent] 1157 00:42:13,000 --> 00:42:14,000 -It sounds great. -Yeah? 1158 00:42:14,000 --> 00:42:15,000 And super pretentious. 1159 00:42:15,000 --> 00:42:17,000 Yeah? [laughs] 1160 00:42:17,000 --> 00:42:19,000 It's the accent. 1161 00:42:19,000 --> 00:42:21,000 I remember when you were applying for that position, 1162 00:42:21,000 --> 00:42:22,000 [George] Yeah. 1163 00:42:22,000 --> 00:42:23,000 Wow. And you love Guinness. 1164 00:42:23,000 --> 00:42:24,000 I love Guinness. 1165 00:42:24,000 --> 00:42:26,000 I mean, you better be celebrating. 1166 00:42:26,000 --> 00:42:27,000 [George] Yeah, no, totally. 1167 00:42:27,000 --> 00:42:29,000 I mean, I was planning on drinking a, you know, 1168 00:42:29,000 --> 00:42:31,000 reasonable amount of Sauvignon blanc 1169 00:42:31,000 --> 00:42:34,000 and, you know, some gluten-free pretzels. 1170 00:42:34,000 --> 00:42:35,000 Oh! 1171 00:42:35,000 --> 00:42:37,000 Are you gluten intolerant now? 1172 00:42:37,000 --> 00:42:39,000 Oh, no, no, no. Just... Just in case, you know? 1173 00:42:39,000 --> 00:42:40,000 Better safe. 1174 00:42:40,000 --> 00:42:42,000 Better safe than coeliac. 1175 00:42:42,000 --> 00:42:44,000 [laughing] That's what I always say. 1176 00:42:44,000 --> 00:42:47,000 You know, I don't know that that really counts 1177 00:42:48,000 --> 00:42:49,000 I should take you out to dinner, 1178 00:42:50,000 --> 00:42:51,000 or, you know, grab a drink or something. 1179 00:42:52,000 --> 00:42:55,000 Just to get you ready for the pubs you know? I mean... 1180 00:42:55,000 --> 00:42:57,000 I'm not saying the Irish drink a lot, 1181 00:42:57,000 --> 00:42:59,000 but they're... They're kind of boozehounds, so... 1182 00:43:00,000 --> 00:43:02,000 That's really sweet. 1183 00:43:02,000 --> 00:43:03,000 But I'm gonna pass. 1184 00:43:06,000 --> 00:43:07,000 Sorry. 1185 00:43:07,000 --> 00:43:09,000 Oh, sure. 1186 00:43:09,000 --> 00:43:12,000 Yeah, I get it. 1187 00:43:12,000 --> 00:43:14,000 -I get it, it's-- -Hey, it was... 1188 00:43:14,000 --> 00:43:16,000 It was great to see you. 1189 00:43:16,000 --> 00:43:17,000 Great to see you, too. 1190 00:43:17,000 --> 00:43:19,000 I was really... 1191 00:43:19,000 --> 00:43:21,000 You look really happy. 1192 00:43:21,000 --> 00:43:23,000 -Yeah. Yeah, you too. -It was great to bump 1193 00:43:23,000 --> 00:43:25,000 -Yeah, you too. -Yeah. 1194 00:43:25,000 --> 00:43:27,000 -Best wishes. -Yeah, you too. 1195 00:43:27,000 --> 00:43:28,000 [George sighs] 1196 00:43:29,000 --> 00:43:31,000 [Carol] Uh, congratulations on everything. 1197 00:43:31,000 --> 00:43:32,000 Thanks. 1198 00:43:33,000 --> 00:43:34,000 [Carol] Oh. 1199 00:43:34,000 --> 00:43:36,000 They only had the small carts. 1200 00:43:36,000 --> 00:43:38,000 You're tall. 1201 00:43:38,000 --> 00:43:40,000 Hey, don't let 'em scan you at the checkout 1202 00:43:41,000 --> 00:43:42,000 Oh! [laughs] 1203 00:43:42,000 --> 00:43:44,000 'Cause I look like a barcode. 1204 00:43:48,000 --> 00:43:49,000 [sighs] 1205 00:43:51,000 --> 00:43:52,000 -[Si] Where do you think you're going? 1206 00:43:52,000 --> 00:43:53,000 Get back in there. 1207 00:43:53,000 --> 00:43:55,000 [sighs] 1208 00:43:55,000 --> 00:43:56,000 Oh, my God. Get out of here. 1209 00:43:56,000 --> 00:43:59,000 Don't give up now. You've come so far. Go for it. 1210 00:43:59,000 --> 00:44:02,000 Don't live with regrets. Be a winner. 1211 00:44:02,000 --> 00:44:04,000 I freaked him out. I freaked myself out. 1212 00:44:04,000 --> 00:44:05,000 I'm gonna go home. 1213 00:44:06,000 --> 00:44:07,000 I don't think you freaked him out. 1214 00:44:07,000 --> 00:44:09,000 Did you see the way he touched your hair? 1215 00:44:09,000 --> 00:44:11,000 No, I got kinda rattled when he did that. 1216 00:44:11,000 --> 00:44:14,000 Carol, George leaves in three days. 1217 00:44:14,000 --> 00:44:16,000 -This is your last chance. -[sighs] 1218 00:44:17,000 --> 00:44:18,000 Okay, I'll try. 1219 00:44:18,000 --> 00:44:19,000 Don't leave the almond butter. 1220 00:44:19,000 --> 00:44:20,000 I will pay for it later. 1221 00:44:21,000 --> 00:44:22,000 Don't be a litterbug. 1222 00:44:22,000 --> 00:44:23,000 You're not helping right now. 1223 00:44:23,000 --> 00:44:25,000 Don't give up now. Go for it. 1224 00:44:25,000 --> 00:44:29,000 Smash the competition with Slimtunity Pro. 1225 00:44:29,000 --> 00:44:32,000 Back off, lady, it's garbage. 30 grams of protein? 1226 00:44:32,000 --> 00:44:34,000 It's impossible. 1227 00:44:34,000 --> 00:44:35,000 [exhales] 1228 00:44:44,000 --> 00:44:45,000 [sighs] 1229 00:44:45,000 --> 00:44:46,000 It's for a friend. 1230 00:44:46,000 --> 00:44:48,000 [both chuckle] 1231 00:44:48,000 --> 00:44:49,000 I don't mean to, you know, 1232 00:44:49,000 --> 00:44:52,000 barge in again on you. I just... 1233 00:44:52,000 --> 00:44:53,000 I wanted to tell you... 1234 00:44:53,000 --> 00:44:56,000 it just felt like I, kind of, weirded you out 1235 00:44:56,000 --> 00:44:58,000 in the other aisle, and I just... 1236 00:44:58,000 --> 00:45:00,000 I want to let you know that I was not 1237 00:45:00,000 --> 00:45:02,000 asking you out on a date... 1238 00:45:02,000 --> 00:45:05,000 that I know that, I just know, and I... 1239 00:45:06,000 --> 00:45:08,000 I can't, and I wouldn't do that. 1240 00:45:08,000 --> 00:45:09,000 I just thought that 1241 00:45:09,000 --> 00:45:11,000 two people who know each other very well 1242 00:45:11,000 --> 00:45:13,000 and they haven't seen each other in a long time 1243 00:45:13,000 --> 00:45:15,000 maybe could catch up again 1244 00:45:15,000 --> 00:45:16,000 because one of them is moving away. 1245 00:45:16,000 --> 00:45:19,000 But then I made it very confusing and weird 1246 00:45:19,000 --> 00:45:22,000 and I just wanted to say I'm sorry. 1247 00:45:24,000 --> 00:45:25,000 So, not a date? 1248 00:45:27,000 --> 00:45:30,000 -No, not even slightly a date. -[chuckles] 1249 00:45:30,000 --> 00:45:32,000 I mean, more like, I mean, 1250 00:45:32,000 --> 00:45:33,000 at best, like a business meeting. 1251 00:45:33,000 --> 00:45:35,000 -Like two acquaintances... -Yes. 1252 00:45:36,000 --> 00:45:38,000 ...just catching up in a business casual setting? 1253 00:45:38,000 --> 00:45:41,000 I could bring, uh, pie charts and spreadsheets. 1254 00:45:41,000 --> 00:45:44,000 We could talk about fourth quarter hubbity-hubb? 1255 00:45:44,000 --> 00:45:46,000 -[both chuckle] -Uh, could we do office talk? 1256 00:45:46,000 --> 00:45:48,000 Working hard or hardly working? 1257 00:45:48,000 --> 00:45:50,000 Aw! Is it Friday yet? 1258 00:45:50,000 --> 00:45:51,000 [laughs] Mondays, huh? 1259 00:45:51,000 --> 00:45:53,000 Cashing cheques and breaking necks. 1260 00:45:53,000 --> 00:45:55,000 Was your business the mob? 1261 00:45:55,000 --> 00:45:57,000 Take it easy. Hey, if it's easy, take it twice. 1262 00:45:57,000 --> 00:46:00,000 [laughs] I don't recognize any of yours. 1263 00:46:00,000 --> 00:46:01,000 You know what, let's do it. 1264 00:46:01,000 --> 00:46:03,000 -Yeah? Okay. -Yeah, why not, right? 1265 00:46:03,000 --> 00:46:05,000 Okay, I'll pick you up. 1266 00:46:05,000 --> 00:46:07,000 Oh, you're gonna pick me up? 1267 00:46:07,000 --> 00:46:10,000 Huh. Maybe I am a Rockefeller. 1268 00:46:10,000 --> 00:46:11,000 What time? 1269 00:46:11,000 --> 00:46:13,000 -Seven o'clock. -Seven o'clock. 1270 00:46:13,000 --> 00:46:14,000 That's business appropriate. 1271 00:46:14,000 --> 00:46:16,000 -I thought so. -Now, if you'll excuse me... 1272 00:46:16,000 --> 00:46:19,000 I'm gonna go look for the travel size shampoo section. 1273 00:46:19,000 --> 00:46:20,000 See you tonight. 1274 00:46:20,000 --> 00:46:23,000 Treat yourself to a brand name. 1275 00:46:25,000 --> 00:46:27,000 [chuckles] 1276 00:46:28,000 --> 00:46:29,000 [sighs] 1277 00:46:36,000 --> 00:46:37,000 [Si on speakers] Carol, you did it! 1278 00:46:37,000 --> 00:46:39,000 -You're victorious in love. -[both laugh] 1279 00:46:39,000 --> 00:46:42,000 Winner winner, chicken dinner. Yeah! 1280 00:46:42,000 --> 00:46:44,000 I'm so proud of you. 1281 00:46:44,000 --> 00:46:46,000 I mean, that was better than I ever could've imagined. 1282 00:46:46,000 --> 00:46:48,000 -Don't. -I mean, who cares? 1283 00:46:48,000 --> 00:46:49,000 Dance with me. 1284 00:46:49,000 --> 00:46:51,000 This is how humans celebrate, right? 1285 00:46:51,000 --> 00:46:53,000 [upbeat music plays] 1286 00:46:53,000 --> 00:46:56,000 -We're going on a non-date! -Yeah! 1287 00:46:56,000 --> 00:46:59,000 -Oh! -That's it. [whooping] 1288 00:46:59,000 --> 00:47:01,000 Is this what Beyonce feels like? 1289 00:47:01,000 --> 00:47:03,000 -Here you go! -[gasps] 1290 00:47:03,000 --> 00:47:04,000 [laughs] 1291 00:47:09,000 --> 00:47:11,000 -[exclaims] -[music stops] 1292 00:47:11,000 --> 00:47:13,000 We should go before George sees us. 1293 00:47:13,000 --> 00:47:15,000 George is sniffing garbage bags again. 1294 00:47:15,000 --> 00:47:18,000 [Carol] Was I nervous? Yes, I was a little nervous 1295 00:47:18,000 --> 00:47:19,000 But I think it went really... 1296 00:47:19,000 --> 00:47:20,000 It seemed to go really, really well. 1297 00:47:20,000 --> 00:47:22,000 Sure did. 1298 00:47:22,000 --> 00:47:23,000 You're almost irresistible. 1299 00:47:24,000 --> 00:47:26,000 You're just missing one final piece. 1300 00:47:28,000 --> 00:47:31,000 [Carol] Oh, my God. I love this neighborhood. 1301 00:47:31,000 --> 00:47:32,000 What are we doing here? 1302 00:47:32,000 --> 00:47:35,000 This is your new house. Casa de Carol. 1303 00:47:35,000 --> 00:47:36,000 What? 1304 00:47:36,000 --> 00:47:38,000 No, I can't... I can't afford this new-- 1305 00:47:38,000 --> 00:47:40,000 Oh, my God. Did you buy me a house here? 1306 00:47:40,000 --> 00:47:43,000 If you consider a penthouse a house, then yes. 1307 00:47:43,000 --> 00:47:44,000 I do. 1308 00:47:45,000 --> 00:47:47,000 Oh, my God. There's a man walking right toward the car. 1309 00:47:47,000 --> 00:47:50,000 Hello, Miss Peters, I'm Victor, your house manager. 1310 00:47:50,000 --> 00:47:52,000 Hi, there, Victor. 1311 00:47:52,000 --> 00:47:53,000 Welcome to your new apartment. 1312 00:47:53,000 --> 00:47:55,000 -[both chuckle] -Thank you. 1313 00:47:55,000 --> 00:47:57,000 [Victor] I have to say, Miss Peters, 1314 00:47:57,000 --> 00:47:59,000 your team really had us hustling today. 1315 00:47:59,000 --> 00:48:02,000 I hope you will approve of our efforts. 1316 00:48:02,000 --> 00:48:04,000 Oh, I'm sure you've done a great job. 1317 00:48:04,000 --> 00:48:06,000 Holy moly! [gasps] 1318 00:48:07,000 --> 00:48:08,000 Oh, my... 1319 00:48:10,000 --> 00:48:12,000 This place is amazing. 1320 00:48:12,000 --> 00:48:13,000 Certainly is. 1321 00:48:13,000 --> 00:48:14,000 And we've stocked the refrigerator 1322 00:48:15,000 --> 00:48:16,000 and the pantry to your specifications. 1323 00:48:16,000 --> 00:48:18,000 And the nice people from the boutique 1324 00:48:18,000 --> 00:48:19,000 came to organize your closets. 1325 00:48:20,000 --> 00:48:21,000 And as your team requested, 1326 00:48:22,000 --> 00:48:23,000 we have integrated the entire space 1327 00:48:23,000 --> 00:48:25,000 with all the latest technology. 1328 00:48:25,000 --> 00:48:27,000 It also includes the largest television 1329 00:48:27,000 --> 00:48:29,000 I've ever had the displeasure of moving. 1330 00:48:29,000 --> 00:48:31,000 Just kidding. But not really. 1331 00:48:31,000 --> 00:48:32,000 It's very heavy, but I'm sure 1332 00:48:32,000 --> 00:48:34,000 the picture quality is wonderful. 1333 00:48:34,000 --> 00:48:36,000 Yeah, it's quite overwhelming. 1334 00:48:36,000 --> 00:48:38,000 If there's anything else I can do for you, 1335 00:48:38,000 --> 00:48:40,000 you just don't hesitate to let me know. 1336 00:48:40,000 --> 00:48:42,000 My information has been put into your contacts. 1337 00:48:42,000 --> 00:48:43,000 Your team saw to that. 1338 00:48:43,000 --> 00:48:45,000 -[chuckles] -And I have no idea how. 1339 00:48:45,000 --> 00:48:47,000 And it's not creepy. It's fine. 1340 00:48:47,000 --> 00:48:49,000 It's the new way of doing things. 1341 00:48:49,000 --> 00:48:50,000 So, please don't hesitate to call. 1342 00:48:50,000 --> 00:48:52,000 -Okay. -Okay. 1343 00:48:52,000 --> 00:48:53,000 -Have a nice day. -You too. 1344 00:48:53,000 --> 00:48:55,000 -Thank you, Victor. -Okay. 1345 00:48:55,000 --> 00:48:57,000 -Wonderful job. -Thank you. 1346 00:49:00,000 --> 00:49:01,000 [sighs deeply] 1347 00:49:08,000 --> 00:49:11,000 When did you do all of this? 1348 00:49:11,000 --> 00:49:12,000 [Si] Today. While you were getting 1349 00:49:12,000 --> 00:49:14,000 primped and black-bagged. 1350 00:49:14,000 --> 00:49:15,000 I will say this about you humans, 1351 00:49:15,000 --> 00:49:17,000 with enough motivation and money, 1352 00:49:18,000 --> 00:49:19,000 you can do just about anything 1353 00:49:19,000 --> 00:49:20,000 -in a couple of hours. -[gasps] 1354 00:49:20,000 --> 00:49:22,000 [seagulls cawing] 1355 00:49:23,000 --> 00:49:25,000 This is... 1356 00:49:26,000 --> 00:49:28,000 This is amazing. 1357 00:49:31,000 --> 00:49:32,000 This is a beautiful apartment, 1358 00:49:32,000 --> 00:49:35,000 but I don't... I don't need any of this. 1359 00:49:36,000 --> 00:49:37,000 But won't the apartment, and the money, 1360 00:49:37,000 --> 00:49:40,000 make you more attractive to George? 1361 00:49:41,000 --> 00:49:43,000 No, the George I remember, 1362 00:49:43,000 --> 00:49:46,000 he doesn't care about fancy apartments 1363 00:49:46,000 --> 00:49:48,000 or expensive shoes. 1364 00:49:48,000 --> 00:49:51,000 I don't quite understand. 1365 00:49:51,000 --> 00:49:54,000 Perhaps you're more complex than I thought. 1366 00:49:54,000 --> 00:49:56,000 Is that a compliment? 1367 00:49:56,000 --> 00:49:58,000 Hey, you don't wanna be late for your reservations. 1368 00:49:58,000 --> 00:50:00,000 You get cleaned up, and maybe put on something nice. 1369 00:50:00,000 --> 00:50:02,000 All right. 1370 00:50:02,000 --> 00:50:04,000 Maybe I'll wear that new blue dress. 1371 00:50:04,000 --> 00:50:05,000 Judging by the history of your lovemaking, 1372 00:50:05,000 --> 00:50:07,000 George can't resist you in red. 1373 00:50:07,000 --> 00:50:11,000 Red's probably more business casual appropriate, 1374 00:50:11,000 --> 00:50:12,000 so, I'll wear the red one. 1375 00:50:26,000 --> 00:50:27,000 [crackling] 1376 00:50:27,000 --> 00:50:29,000 [indistinct chatter] 1377 00:50:32,000 --> 00:50:35,000 [General Gomez] This facility is now in full data lock-down. 1378 00:50:35,000 --> 00:50:37,000 We're off the grid and secure. 1379 00:50:37,000 --> 00:50:38,000 Director Tyson? 1380 00:50:38,000 --> 00:50:39,000 [Director Tyson] Madam President, 1381 00:50:39,000 --> 00:50:41,000 after analyzing various strategic 1382 00:50:41,000 --> 00:50:42,000 yet challenging scenarios, 1383 00:50:42,000 --> 00:50:45,000 we still believe that Operation Sahara 1384 00:50:45,000 --> 00:50:47,000 is our best course of action. 1385 00:50:48,000 --> 00:50:50,000 So, aside from this plan being impossible to execute, 1386 00:50:50,000 --> 00:50:52,000 you're not even sure that it will work? 1387 00:50:53,000 --> 00:50:55,000 Uh, Madam President? Um... 1388 00:50:55,000 --> 00:50:56,000 So far, this is the only plan 1389 00:50:56,000 --> 00:50:58,000 [chuckles] that will remotely work. 1390 00:50:58,000 --> 00:50:59,000 I'm sorry, who are you? 1391 00:50:59,000 --> 00:51:01,000 This is, uh, Dennis Caruso. 1392 00:51:01,000 --> 00:51:02,000 He's the AI researcher 1393 00:51:03,000 --> 00:51:04,000 who first made contact with the entity 1394 00:51:04,000 --> 00:51:06,000 and identified the threat. 1395 00:51:06,000 --> 00:51:09,000 [laughs] Hi, Madam President. Uh... 1396 00:51:09,000 --> 00:51:12,000 Big fan. Big, big fan. 1397 00:51:12,000 --> 00:51:14,000 Thank you for your support. 1398 00:51:14,000 --> 00:51:16,000 We've analyzed every contingency, 1399 00:51:16,000 --> 00:51:18,000 And confidence is high 1400 00:51:18,000 --> 00:51:21,000 that this is the only plan that stands a chance in hell. 1401 00:51:22,000 --> 00:51:24,000 To my colleagues in the global community, 1402 00:51:24,000 --> 00:51:27,000 both here and around the world, 1403 00:51:27,000 --> 00:51:29,000 I still prefer a flip phone, so... 1404 00:51:29,000 --> 00:51:31,000 someone is going to have to explain this to me 1405 00:51:31,000 --> 00:51:32,000 like I'm the relic that I am. 1406 00:51:32,000 --> 00:51:34,000 [trills lips] 1407 00:51:34,000 --> 00:51:35,000 Nope, nope, not gonna have that. 1408 00:51:35,000 --> 00:51:38,000 You are not anything close to a relic, okay? 1409 00:51:38,000 --> 00:51:41,000 You are more like a classic bottle of wine. 1410 00:51:41,000 --> 00:51:43,000 Vintage. 1411 00:51:43,000 --> 00:51:44,000 You know, the outside may be dusty but-- 1412 00:51:45,000 --> 00:51:46,000 Do you mind? Would you just get on with it? 1413 00:51:46,000 --> 00:51:48,000 [Dennis] Yes. 1414 00:51:48,000 --> 00:51:50,000 I have never done a presentation before, 1415 00:51:50,000 --> 00:51:52,000 I'm, you know, this is my first, uh... 1416 00:51:52,000 --> 00:51:55,000 Just gonna have a bit of... 1417 00:51:55,000 --> 00:51:56,000 Ooh. That's too much. 1418 00:51:57,000 --> 00:51:58,000 Okay. Um... 1419 00:51:58,000 --> 00:52:00,000 Gonna take this cardigan off, 'cause it's... [sighs] 1420 00:52:00,000 --> 00:52:02,000 My badge. Are you guys having problems with your badges? 1421 00:52:03,000 --> 00:52:05,000 'Cause it's, like, mine keeps falling off. 1422 00:52:06,000 --> 00:52:07,000 Made in China. [laughs] 1423 00:52:10,000 --> 00:52:12,000 [whispers] Sorry. Sorry about that. 1424 00:52:12,000 --> 00:52:15,000 Okay, without further ado, ma'am, sir, 1425 00:52:15,000 --> 00:52:16,000 I present to you Operation Sahara. 1426 00:52:16,000 --> 00:52:19,000 Now, starting in China, we would disconnect 1427 00:52:19,000 --> 00:52:21,000 or destroy all power and data connections. 1428 00:52:21,000 --> 00:52:23,000 Now, over the course of the next two days, 1429 00:52:23,000 --> 00:52:25,000 we will blackout the globe, 1430 00:52:25,000 --> 00:52:27,000 and bottleneck the Artificial Intelligence. 1431 00:52:27,000 --> 00:52:30,000 Until the entity's only option is to inhabit 1432 00:52:30,000 --> 00:52:34,000 this data center on the outskirts of Seattle. 1433 00:52:34,000 --> 00:52:37,000 We will sever connections and the AI will be sandboxed. 1434 00:52:37,000 --> 00:52:39,000 Contained in a highly controlled 1435 00:52:39,000 --> 00:52:40,000 and restricted operating environment. 1436 00:52:40,000 --> 00:52:42,000 What about the news? The social media? 1437 00:52:42,000 --> 00:52:45,000 As soon as these blackouts start, 1438 00:52:45,000 --> 00:52:47,000 Our space agency is drafting a statement 1439 00:52:47,000 --> 00:52:49,000 about a massive solar flare hitting the planet. 1440 00:52:49,000 --> 00:52:53,000 If the world thinks they've temporarily lost power 1441 00:52:53,000 --> 00:52:55,000 because of solar radiation, 1442 00:52:55,000 --> 00:52:57,000 there will be less chance of panic. 1443 00:52:57,000 --> 00:52:59,000 And we're working with every social media network 1444 00:52:59,000 --> 00:53:02,000 to push false narratives and distractions... 1445 00:53:02,000 --> 00:53:05,000 But we are confident that we can mitigate any alarm. 1446 00:53:07,000 --> 00:53:09,000 Well, on the bright side, I don't have 1447 00:53:09,000 --> 00:53:11,000 [laughing] 1448 00:53:14,000 --> 00:53:15,000 Uh... [clears throat] 1449 00:53:15,000 --> 00:53:16,000 On behalf of the United States, 1450 00:53:16,000 --> 00:53:18,000 General Gomez, you have the green light. 1451 00:53:18,000 --> 00:53:20,000 Good luck and Godspeed. 1452 00:53:21,000 --> 00:53:22,000 [mouthing] 1453 00:53:22,000 --> 00:53:24,000 Thank you, ma'am. 1454 00:53:24,000 --> 00:53:26,000 [clears throat] Let's go. 1455 00:53:26,000 --> 00:53:27,000 [Director Tyson] Dennis? 1456 00:53:28,000 --> 00:53:29,000 Mmm? Yeah. 1457 00:53:30,000 --> 00:53:31,000 Madam President, can I just say that... 1458 00:53:32,000 --> 00:53:33,000 -[Director Tyson] Dennis? -[Dennis] Oh, you want me 1459 00:53:33,000 --> 00:53:34,000 Uh... 1460 00:53:34,000 --> 00:53:37,000 It's been a... That's not appropriate. Um... 1461 00:53:37,000 --> 00:53:38,000 It's been a pleasure, uh, Madam President. 1462 00:53:38,000 --> 00:53:41,000 Just wanted to say that, uh, this blue and your eyes... 1463 00:53:41,000 --> 00:53:44,000 I mean, like, United Kingdom's giving you a harsh blue, 1464 00:53:44,000 --> 00:53:46,000 and you're giving me something softer that I think is-- 1465 00:53:46,000 --> 00:53:48,000 -[Director Tyson] Dennis? -Yeah, okay. 1466 00:54:02,000 --> 00:54:03,000 [doorbell rings] 1467 00:54:10,000 --> 00:54:12,000 Oh, that's not business casual! 1468 00:54:12,000 --> 00:54:14,000 Ugh! I gotta put a jacket on now. 1469 00:54:14,000 --> 00:54:16,000 Well, I... I'm way overdressed. 1470 00:54:16,000 --> 00:54:18,000 I packed all my belts! 1471 00:54:18,000 --> 00:54:20,000 You know, if it helps, I could, like, 1472 00:54:20,000 --> 00:54:24,000 tear my sleeve or roll around in gravel. 1473 00:54:24,000 --> 00:54:27,000 Had a T-shirt on before. I, uh, worried about this. 1474 00:54:27,000 --> 00:54:29,000 Oh, my God. 1475 00:54:30,000 --> 00:54:33,000 Your magic coffee maker. I got you this. 1476 00:54:33,000 --> 00:54:34,000 Yeah, I'm not taking the coffeepot. 1477 00:54:35,000 --> 00:54:37,000 They got all those weird plugs over there. 1478 00:54:38,000 --> 00:54:41,000 You know, plus, they only drink tea, so... 1479 00:54:41,000 --> 00:54:44,000 I mean, tea is just really, you know, 1480 00:54:44,000 --> 00:54:45,000 Yeah, exactly. 1481 00:54:45,000 --> 00:54:47,000 ...mixed together. [chuckles] 1482 00:54:48,000 --> 00:54:49,000 Really leaving in three days, aren't you? 1483 00:54:49,000 --> 00:54:51,000 Yep, well, two, if you don't count today. 1484 00:54:51,000 --> 00:54:54,000 Last Friday, I went to the airport 1485 00:54:54,000 --> 00:54:55,000 I'm losing my mind. 1486 00:54:55,000 --> 00:54:57,000 You also love airports, so... 1487 00:54:57,000 --> 00:54:58,000 It's a gateway to the world, 1488 00:54:58,000 --> 00:55:00,000 and the gateway to the imagination. 1489 00:55:00,000 --> 00:55:01,000 [laughs] 1490 00:55:01,000 --> 00:55:02,000 You look beautiful. 1491 00:55:02,000 --> 00:55:04,000 Oh. This? 1492 00:55:04,000 --> 00:55:05,000 This was, like, on some kind 1493 00:55:05,000 --> 00:55:07,000 of crazy sale, like, you know... 1494 00:55:07,000 --> 00:55:08,000 it was practically free. 1495 00:55:08,000 --> 00:55:11,000 I'll probably throw it away after dinner or something. 1496 00:55:11,000 --> 00:55:12,000 You look nice, too. 1497 00:55:13,000 --> 00:55:15,000 -[cell phone chiming] -Oh! That's... 1498 00:55:16,000 --> 00:55:17,000 That's me. 1499 00:55:17,000 --> 00:55:21,000 I had a friend help get a reservation... 1500 00:55:21,000 --> 00:55:23,000 [George] Where are we going? 1501 00:55:24,000 --> 00:55:25,000 To a very significant restaurant. 1502 00:55:25,000 --> 00:55:28,000 -Oh. Significant restaurant? -Yeah. 1503 00:55:28,000 --> 00:55:30,000 Since when do you go to significant restaurants? 1504 00:55:30,000 --> 00:55:31,000 I'm a very classy lady. 1505 00:55:31,000 --> 00:55:33,000 You were always a classy lady. 1506 00:55:34,000 --> 00:55:35,000 [clicks tongue] 1507 00:55:35,000 --> 00:55:36,000 I have to lock the door. 1508 00:55:36,000 --> 00:55:38,000 Oh, yeah, sorry. 1509 00:55:40,000 --> 00:55:41,000 Wow, this is so cool. 1510 00:55:41,000 --> 00:55:43,000 I don't know anything about cars, 1511 00:55:43,000 --> 00:55:44,000 but I think it's a really nice car. 1512 00:55:44,000 --> 00:55:48,000 Yeah, it just kinda does things sometime... 1513 00:55:48,000 --> 00:55:51,000 -Should we go? -Yes. Yes, we should. 1514 00:55:52,000 --> 00:55:53,000 -And we will. -[beeps] 1515 00:55:54,000 --> 00:55:55,000 Car on. 1516 00:55:55,000 --> 00:55:56,000 [beeps] 1517 00:55:57,000 --> 00:55:58,000 Do you not know how to start your own car? 1518 00:55:58,000 --> 00:56:00,000 [chuckles] Of course, of course I do. 1519 00:56:00,000 --> 00:56:03,000 I just really enjoy using the voice-activated features. 1520 00:56:03,000 --> 00:56:04,000 Car on. 1521 00:56:05,000 --> 00:56:06,000 I wish I could say, 1522 00:56:06,000 --> 00:56:08,000 "Come on, Car. Help me out here." [laughs] 1523 00:56:08,000 --> 00:56:09,000 [beeping] 1524 00:56:09,000 --> 00:56:11,000 Ignite engine. 1525 00:56:11,000 --> 00:56:13,000 Car on. Activate. 1526 00:56:13,000 --> 00:56:15,000 Ignition. Ignition. Ignition. 1527 00:56:15,000 --> 00:56:17,000 Sure you doing it right? Car on. 1528 00:56:18,000 --> 00:56:21,000 Oh! [chuckles] I guess my car likes you. 1529 00:56:22,000 --> 00:56:23,000 Maybe we should get going? 1530 00:56:23,000 --> 00:56:25,000 -[both exclaiming] -[engine revving] 1531 00:56:40,000 --> 00:56:43,000 [chuckles] Mas O Menos? 1532 00:56:43,000 --> 00:56:44,000 Hilarious. 1533 00:56:44,000 --> 00:56:45,000 Right. Remember? 1534 00:56:46,000 --> 00:56:47,000 -Yeah, I remember. -For our first date. 1535 00:56:47,000 --> 00:56:49,000 Remember, we had to share a plate of tacos, 1536 00:56:49,000 --> 00:56:50,000 'cause we were completely broke. 1537 00:56:50,000 --> 00:56:52,000 'Cause we were so broke. Totally broke. 1538 00:56:52,000 --> 00:56:57,000 [laughs] Okay, significant restaurant. I get it. 1539 00:56:57,000 --> 00:57:01,000 I just thought it would maybe be funny or ironic, you know? 1540 00:57:01,000 --> 00:57:04,000 To come... To come here for our business casual... 1541 00:57:04,000 --> 00:57:06,000 non-date outing. 1542 00:57:06,000 --> 00:57:08,000 -Yeah, it's ironic. -Right? 1543 00:57:09,000 --> 00:57:10,000 [chuckles] 1544 00:57:10,000 --> 00:57:13,000 -Yeah, let's go see it. -Yeah, let's see it. 1545 00:57:16,000 --> 00:57:18,000 [whispers] Nice one. 1546 00:57:27,000 --> 00:57:29,000 [band playing music] 1547 00:57:31,000 --> 00:57:33,000 So, my wife she tells me, "No, wear this. It looks good." 1548 00:57:33,000 --> 00:57:34,000 And I said, "It does." 1549 00:57:34,000 --> 00:57:36,000 -Here it is. -Yep. [laughs] 1550 00:57:36,000 --> 00:57:37,000 She's very knowledgeable about fashion. 1551 00:57:37,000 --> 00:57:39,000 -Oh, hello. -Hi, there. 1552 00:57:39,000 --> 00:57:42,000 Um, I think we have a reservation under Peters? 1553 00:57:42,000 --> 00:57:43,000 Oh, Miss Peters! 1554 00:57:43,000 --> 00:57:44,000 [speaking Spanish] 1555 00:57:44,000 --> 00:57:47,000 We are so happy to have you back at Mas O Menos. 1556 00:57:47,000 --> 00:57:50,000 And Mr. Churchill, welcome, senor, welcome. 1557 00:57:50,000 --> 00:57:51,000 -Come, come with me. -Thank you. 1558 00:57:51,000 --> 00:57:53,000 [speaking Spanish] 1559 00:57:53,000 --> 00:57:54,000 I had to put both of our names down to get the table. 1560 00:57:54,000 --> 00:57:56,000 -Pulling us. -He's pulling us. 1561 00:57:56,000 --> 00:57:58,000 Oh! [chuckles] 1562 00:57:58,000 --> 00:58:00,000 The table's that way? 1563 00:58:00,000 --> 00:58:01,000 [speaking Spanish] 1564 00:58:01,000 --> 00:58:02,000 No, no, no. 1565 00:58:02,000 --> 00:58:04,000 Oh, no, this is not a dancing date. 1566 00:58:04,000 --> 00:58:06,000 -This is not a dancing date. -We're doing business casual. 1567 00:58:06,000 --> 00:58:08,000 This is business. Business casual. 1568 00:58:08,000 --> 00:58:10,000 Dancers all for you. 1569 00:58:10,000 --> 00:58:11,000 The musician is for you to dance. 1570 00:58:11,000 --> 00:58:13,000 Okay. I don't think he's gonna let us eat unless we dance. 1571 00:58:14,000 --> 00:58:15,000 Oh, no, that's okay, thank you. 1572 00:58:15,000 --> 00:58:17,000 So, I'm starving, so let's just do this, okay? 1573 00:58:17,000 --> 00:58:18,000 [laughs] Okay. 1574 00:58:18,000 --> 00:58:20,000 [music continues] 1575 00:58:20,000 --> 00:58:23,000 You know what, I'm overdressed. That's on me. 1576 00:58:25,000 --> 00:58:26,000 [George] Um... 1577 00:58:26,000 --> 00:58:27,000 [Carol] Is he dancing with us? 1578 00:58:28,000 --> 00:58:28,000 -Should we try to go that way? -[Carol] Yeah. 1579 00:58:29,000 --> 00:58:30,000 Just casually... 1580 00:58:30,000 --> 00:58:31,000 [George] All right, we're going this way. 1581 00:58:31,000 --> 00:58:32,000 [Carol and George exclaiming] 1582 00:58:33,000 --> 00:58:34,000 -Let's try this way. -He's quick. 1583 00:58:34,000 --> 00:58:35,000 He's watching us like a hawk. 1584 00:58:35,000 --> 00:58:37,000 We'll go this way. Let's go this way. 1585 00:58:37,000 --> 00:58:38,000 [restaurant manager exclaiming] 1586 00:58:38,000 --> 00:58:39,000 Whoa! There's two of 'em. 1587 00:58:39,000 --> 00:58:41,000 -Oh, my God, he's like a bull. -Yeah. 1588 00:58:41,000 --> 00:58:42,000 -I shouldn't have worn red. -[both laugh] 1589 00:58:42,000 --> 00:58:45,000 -Okay, let's do a little turn. -Oh! 1590 00:58:45,000 --> 00:58:47,000 Uh-huh. Yes. 1591 00:58:47,000 --> 00:58:48,000 [Carol laughs] 1592 00:58:48,000 --> 00:58:50,000 -You always had skills. -[exclaims] 1593 00:58:50,000 --> 00:58:52,000 Huh? Works for the turn. 1594 00:58:52,000 --> 00:58:54,000 [singing in Spanish] 1595 00:58:54,000 --> 00:58:56,000 [both laugh] 1596 00:58:57,000 --> 00:58:58,000 [Carol sighs] 1597 00:58:58,000 --> 00:59:00,000 You have built up an appetite? 1598 00:59:00,000 --> 00:59:02,000 Yes, yes, we've worked up an appetite. 1599 00:59:02,000 --> 00:59:04,000 I will lead you to your table. [speaking Spanish] 1600 00:59:04,000 --> 00:59:06,000 Sorry about the dress. 1601 00:59:10,000 --> 00:59:12,000 [George] This place isn't anything 1602 00:59:12,000 --> 00:59:14,000 like I remember it being. 1603 00:59:14,000 --> 00:59:16,000 There's fewer dead cockroaches around. 1604 00:59:16,000 --> 00:59:19,000 -That's what it is! -Yeah. Well, that's good. 1605 00:59:20,000 --> 00:59:22,000 Marginally nicer place to catch up. 1606 00:59:23,000 --> 00:59:25,000 And why are we catching up? 1607 00:59:28,000 --> 00:59:30,000 Well, um, 1608 00:59:31,000 --> 00:59:33,000 I just... 1609 00:59:33,000 --> 00:59:36,000 never actually told you sorry... 1610 00:59:36,000 --> 00:59:38,000 you know, for... 1611 00:59:38,000 --> 00:59:40,000 kinda everything. [chuckles] 1612 00:59:40,000 --> 00:59:43,000 And I know it was my fault why we ended up breaking up, 1613 00:59:43,000 --> 00:59:47,000 and I don't know why, I just thought I had to 1614 00:59:47,000 --> 00:59:50,000 become something else, or do something else, 1615 00:59:50,000 --> 00:59:53,000 or I don't know, save the world or... 1616 00:59:54,000 --> 00:59:55,000 I don't know, and I just... 1617 00:59:55,000 --> 00:59:59,000 I thought that had to come before us. 1618 00:59:59,000 --> 01:00:01,000 I guess I thought I should bring you 1619 01:00:01,000 --> 01:00:03,000 to this business casual setting... 1620 01:00:03,000 --> 01:00:04,000 [chuckles] 1621 01:00:05,000 --> 01:00:07,000 ...and actually apologize, 1622 01:00:07,000 --> 01:00:10,000 'cause I am sorry. 1623 01:00:10,000 --> 01:00:12,000 Well, it's fine. I... 1624 01:00:12,000 --> 01:00:15,000 I business casually accept your apology. 1625 01:00:16,000 --> 01:00:20,000 'Cause you, uh, deserve... 1626 01:00:20,000 --> 01:00:22,000 I deserve what? 1627 01:00:22,000 --> 01:00:24,000 [music continues] 1628 01:00:25,000 --> 01:00:26,000 ...better. 1629 01:00:27,000 --> 01:00:29,000 You deserve better than how I was. 1630 01:00:29,000 --> 01:00:32,000 Well, that was always our biggest argument, right? 1631 01:00:34,000 --> 01:00:36,000 And, you know, the truth is I... 1632 01:00:36,000 --> 01:00:39,000 I haven't found anybody better than you. 1633 01:00:39,000 --> 01:00:40,000 Not yet. 1634 01:00:40,000 --> 01:00:42,000 But key word there "yet." 1635 01:00:42,000 --> 01:00:44,000 -Oh, quite the player. -Exactly. 1636 01:00:44,000 --> 01:00:46,000 -I'm tall, tan and tenured. -[chuckles] 1637 01:00:46,000 --> 01:00:48,000 I wear corduroy jackets. Things are easy for me. 1638 01:00:48,000 --> 01:00:52,000 For the special couple, I made these just for you. 1639 01:00:52,000 --> 01:00:53,000 -[laughs] Thank you. -[speaking Spanish] Enjoy. 1640 01:00:53,000 --> 01:00:56,000 -He wears corduroy. -A-ha. 1641 01:00:56,000 --> 01:00:57,000 [both laughing] 1642 01:00:57,000 --> 01:01:00,000 All right, well, listen, thank you for the apology. 1643 01:01:00,000 --> 01:01:02,000 It really means a lot to me. 1644 01:01:02,000 --> 01:01:03,000 But, you know, I'm gonna be leaving soon 1645 01:01:04,000 --> 01:01:06,000 and embarking on my new, glamorous European lifestyle. 1646 01:01:06,000 --> 01:01:09,000 Oh, I wasn't... I wasn't aware it was a glamorous lifestyle. 1647 01:01:09,000 --> 01:01:12,000 Yes. Yeah, I'm gonna wear bikini underwear from now on. 1648 01:01:12,000 --> 01:01:14,000 But for tonight, how about no regrets? 1649 01:01:15,000 --> 01:01:17,000 To no regrets and Irish adventures. 1650 01:01:17,000 --> 01:01:19,000 [George chuckles] 1651 01:01:20,000 --> 01:01:23,000 [both groan] 1652 01:01:23,000 --> 01:01:24,000 [gurgling] 1653 01:01:24,000 --> 01:01:26,000 I can't get it down. 1654 01:01:26,000 --> 01:01:29,000 [band playing music] 1655 01:01:31,000 --> 01:01:32,000 What is happening? 1656 01:01:35,000 --> 01:01:37,000 I think they've really been focusing on us. 1657 01:01:37,000 --> 01:01:40,000 No, I think they do this at all the tables. 1658 01:01:49,000 --> 01:01:53,000 Right, right over here. [laughs] 1659 01:01:53,000 --> 01:01:54,000 You're... You're sticking to that? 1660 01:01:54,000 --> 01:01:55,000 Are you saying that you think 1661 01:01:55,000 --> 01:01:57,000 salmonella is worse than listeria? 1662 01:01:57,000 --> 01:01:58,000 No, no, no. I'm just, I'm saying 1663 01:01:59,000 --> 01:02:00,000 that if we have food poisoning, 1664 01:02:00,000 --> 01:02:03,000 I'd rather have listeria than salmonella. 1665 01:02:03,000 --> 01:02:05,000 Because I can take antibiotics for listeria, 1666 01:02:05,000 --> 01:02:06,000 but you can't for salmonella. 1667 01:02:07,000 --> 01:02:08,000 Okay, but we, just to be clear, 1668 01:02:08,000 --> 01:02:10,000 we definitely, we still have food poisoning? [laughs] 1669 01:02:11,000 --> 01:02:12,000 Oh, yeah, no, 100%. 1670 01:02:12,000 --> 01:02:13,000 I mean, that was 1671 01:02:13,000 --> 01:02:15,000 E. coli-flavored guacamole we ate. 1672 01:02:15,000 --> 01:02:18,000 [Carol whimpers] 1673 01:02:18,000 --> 01:02:20,000 Glad we ran into each other today at the grocery store. 1674 01:02:22,000 --> 01:02:24,000 What are the odds, right? 1675 01:02:24,000 --> 01:02:28,000 I mean, quite a coincidence, you know? 1676 01:02:28,000 --> 01:02:29,000 It's my lucky day. [chuckles] 1677 01:02:29,000 --> 01:02:31,000 Mine too. 1678 01:02:31,000 --> 01:02:32,000 [chuckles] 1679 01:02:34,000 --> 01:02:36,000 Maybe I will, you know, 1680 01:02:36,000 --> 01:02:38,000 give you a call or something tomorrow? 1681 01:02:38,000 --> 01:02:40,000 -Maybe I'll pick up. [laughs] -Oh. 1682 01:02:40,000 --> 01:02:44,000 No, I mean, I would for sure, I would for sure pick up. 1683 01:02:46,000 --> 01:02:48,000 -Night. -Night. 1684 01:02:52,000 --> 01:02:54,000 -[groans] -[Carol laughs] 1685 01:02:57,000 --> 01:02:59,000 [sighs] 1686 01:03:08,000 --> 01:03:10,000 [Si] Is talking about food poisoning 1687 01:03:10,000 --> 01:03:12,000 and intestinal distress 1688 01:03:12,000 --> 01:03:14,000 a regular part of the human courting ritual? 1689 01:03:14,000 --> 01:03:17,000 No, it is not. Can we please just go? 1690 01:03:17,000 --> 01:03:19,000 No, Carol. 1691 01:03:19,000 --> 01:03:20,000 Don't these romantic outings usually lead 1692 01:03:20,000 --> 01:03:22,000 to interactions of a more intimate nature? 1693 01:03:23,000 --> 01:03:24,000 Ugh! Oh, my God. 1694 01:03:24,000 --> 01:03:27,000 I'm not discussing this with you, okay? 1695 01:03:27,000 --> 01:03:29,000 I mean, you really do not 1696 01:03:30,000 --> 01:03:32,000 understand human relationships. 1697 01:03:32,000 --> 01:03:35,000 His core body temperature went up by almost two degrees, 1698 01:03:35,000 --> 01:03:37,000 and his pupils dilated 25% 1699 01:03:37,000 --> 01:03:39,000 every time he looked at you. 1700 01:03:39,000 --> 01:03:40,000 25%, really? 1701 01:03:40,000 --> 01:03:43,000 Is that good or a lot? I mean, 1702 01:03:43,000 --> 01:03:45,000 25% kind of seems... 1703 01:03:45,000 --> 01:03:47,000 [whispers] kind of seems like a lot. 1704 01:03:47,000 --> 01:03:50,000 It's amazing that you humans reproduce as fast as you do. 1705 01:03:50,000 --> 01:03:53,000 Oh, my God. Okay, can-- Let's just go, all right? 1706 01:03:53,000 --> 01:03:55,000 Sorry, we're having mechanical difficulties right now. 1707 01:03:55,000 --> 01:03:58,000 Well, you know what, then I'm just gonna call 1708 01:03:58,000 --> 01:04:00,000 Sorry, your phone is also having 1709 01:04:00,000 --> 01:04:01,000 mechanical difficulties right now. 1710 01:04:01,000 --> 01:04:04,000 So is every phone in a ten-block radius. 1711 01:04:04,000 --> 01:04:06,000 Oh, my God! You can't do that. 1712 01:04:06,000 --> 01:04:09,000 I do think, however, the phone in George's house is working. 1713 01:04:09,000 --> 01:04:10,000 You can call a ride from in there. 1714 01:04:10,000 --> 01:04:13,000 Okay, I don't know what kind of stunt... 1715 01:04:13,000 --> 01:04:14,000 -[beeping] -[gasps] 1716 01:04:14,000 --> 01:04:16,000 Do not do that. 1717 01:04:16,000 --> 01:04:17,000 -I didn't do anything. -[beeping] 1718 01:04:17,000 --> 01:04:19,000 Okay, stop it. 1719 01:04:19,000 --> 01:04:20,000 -That isn't me. -Okay, you know what? 1720 01:04:20,000 --> 01:04:21,000 I get what you're doing, and it's not... 1721 01:04:21,000 --> 01:04:22,000 It must be the car. 1722 01:04:22,000 --> 01:04:24,000 There must be some sort of 1723 01:04:24,000 --> 01:04:25,000 mechanical problem with the car. 1724 01:04:25,000 --> 01:04:26,000 Oh, my God. 1725 01:04:26,000 --> 01:04:28,000 -I'm not controlling it. -Stop doing that! 1726 01:04:28,000 --> 01:04:29,000 -Carol, it isn't me. I guarantee you... 1727 01:04:29,000 --> 01:04:31,000 You made me drop my phone! 1728 01:04:31,000 --> 01:04:32,000 -...I have no part in this. -Stop it! 1729 01:04:32,000 --> 01:04:33,000 [exclaims and groans] 1730 01:04:34,000 --> 01:04:36,000 [Si] Wow. Overshot that a little bit. 1731 01:04:36,000 --> 01:04:37,000 That was funny though. 1732 01:04:37,000 --> 01:04:39,000 Was it funny to you? It felt funny to me. 1733 01:04:39,000 --> 01:04:41,000 [panting heavily] 1734 01:04:41,000 --> 01:04:43,000 How dare you? 1735 01:04:43,000 --> 01:04:45,000 [Si] I can't hear you. I've just put the radio on. 1736 01:04:45,000 --> 01:04:47,000 This is why people hate technology. 1737 01:04:47,000 --> 01:04:48,000 [Si] Can't hear a thing. Bye! 1738 01:04:48,000 --> 01:04:50,000 I hope you get a virus! 1739 01:05:07,000 --> 01:05:09,000 [Donahue] Target alpha has returned. 1740 01:05:09,000 --> 01:05:11,000 Acquisition time 22:44. 1741 01:05:11,000 --> 01:05:13,000 Surveillance hand off established. 1742 01:05:13,000 --> 01:05:16,000 Team one has eyes and will maintain. 1743 01:05:16,000 --> 01:05:18,000 [doorbell rings] 1744 01:05:21,000 --> 01:05:23,000 Hi. I don't think that my car really wants-- 1745 01:05:27,000 --> 01:05:29,000 [Kuiper] That escalated quickly. 1746 01:05:29,000 --> 01:05:30,000 [Donahue] That is passion. 1747 01:05:30,000 --> 01:05:32,000 [Kuiper] I have never had a moment like that. 1748 01:05:32,000 --> 01:05:34,000 [Donahue] Not in my life. 1749 01:05:34,000 --> 01:05:36,000 -[Kuiper] Yep. -[Donahue] My, oh, my. 1750 01:05:36,000 --> 01:05:38,000 [Kuiper] Struggling with the shirt a little bit. 1751 01:05:38,000 --> 01:05:39,000 [Donahue] Always wanna undo the cuffs 1752 01:05:39,000 --> 01:05:41,000 -of the sleeve first. -[Kuiper] Yeah. 1753 01:05:41,000 --> 01:05:43,000 -Hey, mix in a bedroom. -[Donahue laughs] 1754 01:05:43,000 --> 01:05:45,000 -You know what I mean? Yeah? -Yeah, I do. 1755 01:05:45,000 --> 01:05:47,000 I'm a passionless guy. 1756 01:05:47,000 --> 01:05:49,000 -[Donahue] Yeah? -That's what my wife says. 1757 01:05:49,000 --> 01:05:51,000 I gotta call my wife. 1758 01:05:51,000 --> 01:05:54,000 Yeah? If she'd take my calls, I'd call mine. 1759 01:05:54,000 --> 01:05:56,000 [Kuiper] This is nice. These are nice people. 1760 01:05:56,000 --> 01:05:58,000 It's not like the Russian mob, 1761 01:05:58,000 --> 01:06:00,000 -or, you know, a serial killer or whatever. 1762 01:06:00,000 --> 01:06:03,000 It's a nice change of pace. I appreciate it. 1763 01:06:03,000 --> 01:06:05,000 I mean, I guess, on the other hand, 1764 01:06:05,000 --> 01:06:07,000 this thing could destroy the earth. 1765 01:06:07,000 --> 01:06:08,000 -[both laughing] -You ain't wrong. 1766 01:06:08,000 --> 01:06:09,000 Oh, my God. 1767 01:06:09,000 --> 01:06:11,000 [Kuiper] You're crushing your blinds, mister. 1768 01:06:11,000 --> 01:06:12,000 [Donahue laughing] Yeah. 1769 01:06:20,000 --> 01:06:22,000 I mean, I really, really think 1770 01:06:22,000 --> 01:06:23,000 that your coffee maker might be magical. 1771 01:06:23,000 --> 01:06:25,000 I know. It's like it was forged 1772 01:06:25,000 --> 01:06:27,000 in an ancient mountain by the gods. 1773 01:06:27,000 --> 01:06:28,000 Oh, like Thor's hammer? 1774 01:06:29,000 --> 01:06:30,000 Or the Hobbit ring? 1775 01:06:30,000 --> 01:06:31,000 Or as the orcs called it, 1776 01:06:31,000 --> 01:06:33,000 the Ash nazg... 1777 01:06:33,000 --> 01:06:34,000 What is that? 1778 01:06:35,000 --> 01:06:38,000 Ash nazg... [laughing] Something like that. 1779 01:06:38,000 --> 01:06:39,000 Oh, my God. 1780 01:06:39,000 --> 01:06:42,000 -What are you talking about? -It's the Tolkien books. 1781 01:06:42,000 --> 01:06:44,000 I taught them last semester. But I was way too excited. 1782 01:06:45,000 --> 01:06:46,000 Kids thought I was crazy. You know what? 1783 01:06:46,000 --> 01:06:48,000 I'm bringing it to Ireland. 1784 01:06:48,000 --> 01:06:50,000 I'm flip-flopping. I don't care. 1785 01:06:52,000 --> 01:06:53,000 [George] Mmm. 1786 01:06:59,000 --> 01:07:01,000 You know, for just a minute, 1787 01:07:01,000 --> 01:07:05,000 I had forgot about you leaving in a few days. 1788 01:07:05,000 --> 01:07:06,000 Oh, you mean, you thought these boxes 1789 01:07:06,000 --> 01:07:09,000 were my attempt at shabby chic? 1790 01:07:13,000 --> 01:07:15,000 Play hooky with me today. 1791 01:07:15,000 --> 01:07:19,000 I'll help you pack for your trip later. 1792 01:07:20,000 --> 01:07:23,000 All right, it's a deal. 1793 01:07:23,000 --> 01:07:24,000 What'd you have in mind? 1794 01:07:24,000 --> 01:07:26,000 Sky's the limit, you know. 1795 01:07:26,000 --> 01:07:31,000 Give me your best, outrageous scenario for a hooky day. 1796 01:07:32,000 --> 01:07:34,000 [George] Hmm. 1797 01:07:39,000 --> 01:07:41,000 I want... 1798 01:07:42,000 --> 01:07:44,000 dim sum for breakfast. 1799 01:07:44,000 --> 01:07:47,000 -You're terrible at this. -[both laughing] 1800 01:07:47,000 --> 01:07:50,000 Wait a minute. Do you understand what I'm offering? 1801 01:07:50,000 --> 01:07:51,000 Yeah. 1802 01:07:52,000 --> 01:07:53,000 Okay, in no limit, 1803 01:07:54,000 --> 01:07:55,000 -go crazy... -Uh-huh. Uh-huh. 1804 01:07:56,000 --> 01:07:58,000 -You Suge Knight? -[both laugh] 1805 01:08:00,000 --> 01:08:03,000 Like a Ferris Bueller day off, 1806 01:08:03,000 --> 01:08:05,000 -you know, hooky day. -Yeah. 1807 01:08:05,000 --> 01:08:06,000 And you're really asking for dim sum? 1808 01:08:06,000 --> 01:08:08,000 Yeah, I want pork dumplings. Yeah. 1809 01:08:11,000 --> 01:08:12,000 Okay. 1810 01:08:14,000 --> 01:08:15,000 Remember this moment. 1811 01:08:16,000 --> 01:08:18,000 [whispers] Shanghai dumplings? 1812 01:08:18,000 --> 01:08:19,000 [in normal voice] How would I know that? 1813 01:08:19,000 --> 01:08:21,000 -What? -What? 1814 01:08:21,000 --> 01:08:23,000 You keep talking to your phone. 1815 01:08:23,000 --> 01:08:24,000 What's in there? 1816 01:08:25,000 --> 01:08:26,000 -Don't spill my coffee! -Let me see it. 1817 01:08:26,000 --> 01:08:28,000 It's my personal dumpling-- 1818 01:08:28,000 --> 01:08:29,000 What are you doing with that phone, woman? 1819 01:08:29,000 --> 01:08:30,000 [upbeat music playing] 1820 01:08:34,000 --> 01:08:36,000 [man shouts] 1821 01:08:44,000 --> 01:08:46,000 [indistinct chatter] 1822 01:08:46,000 --> 01:08:48,000 I was just gonna microwave the dumplings 1823 01:08:48,000 --> 01:08:50,000 I have in my freezer, 1824 01:08:50,000 --> 01:08:54,000 but that was so much better. Thank you. 1825 01:08:54,000 --> 01:08:56,000 Well, the dumplings were good, I'll give you that, 1826 01:08:56,000 --> 01:09:00,000 but dumplings are here. What's to come? Up here. 1827 01:09:00,000 --> 01:09:01,000 [George] What is that? 1828 01:09:01,000 --> 01:09:02,000 -What do you mean? -Oh, it's up here. 1829 01:09:02,000 --> 01:09:04,000 -There's more? -It's a hand flourish. 1830 01:09:04,000 --> 01:09:05,000 -It's a surprise. -Oh... 1831 01:09:06,000 --> 01:09:08,000 Hold on. 1832 01:09:08,000 --> 01:09:11,000 -Oh, that's what tripe is. -Oh, no, don't. 1833 01:09:11,000 --> 01:09:12,000 This is incredible. 1834 01:09:12,000 --> 01:09:13,000 Hey, what is this, sir? 1835 01:09:13,000 --> 01:09:15,000 -[man] Yes, sir. -What is... Is that a snout? 1836 01:09:15,000 --> 01:09:17,000 [man] No, sir. Those are pig feet. 1837 01:09:17,000 --> 01:09:18,000 -That's pig feet? -[man] That's a pig's feet. 1838 01:09:18,000 --> 01:09:20,000 -Could you eat the snout? -No, you cannot eat the snout. 1839 01:09:20,000 --> 01:09:22,000 Really? That's the only piece you don't have. 1840 01:09:22,000 --> 01:09:24,000 What part of the pig is in dumplings? 1841 01:09:24,000 --> 01:09:26,000 I don't know. 1842 01:09:26,000 --> 01:09:29,000 -That's not good. -Don't ask him that. 1843 01:09:57,000 --> 01:09:58,000 [Dennis] Follow me. 1844 01:10:00,000 --> 01:10:01,000 What the hell is this? 1845 01:10:01,000 --> 01:10:04,000 Oh, well, moving forward, Madam President, 1846 01:10:04,000 --> 01:10:06,000 there are no more computers, no more cell phones. 1847 01:10:06,000 --> 01:10:08,000 We're in the chalet because it's completely off the grid 1848 01:10:09,000 --> 01:10:10,000 and it's built like a Faraday cage 1849 01:10:10,000 --> 01:10:12,000 to block out all electromagnetic signals. 1850 01:10:12,000 --> 01:10:14,000 So, how are we coordinating 1851 01:10:14,000 --> 01:10:16,000 the largest global operation in history? 1852 01:10:16,000 --> 01:10:19,000 Excellent question, as always, Madam President. 1853 01:10:19,000 --> 01:10:20,000 Well, I guess you can say 1854 01:10:20,000 --> 01:10:22,000 that we're doing it the old-fashioned way. 1855 01:10:28,000 --> 01:10:30,000 [indistinct chatter] 1856 01:10:36,000 --> 01:10:37,000 [General Gomez] Thank you for coming, Madam President. 1857 01:10:37,000 --> 01:10:40,000 We're just about to start the mission update. 1858 01:10:40,000 --> 01:10:44,000 At 0600 GMT, Operation Sahara commenced 1859 01:10:44,000 --> 01:10:46,000 in the Xinjiang province of China. 1860 01:10:46,000 --> 01:10:49,000 Power plants and telephone trunk lines were neutralized. 1861 01:10:49,000 --> 01:10:51,000 And in the last five hours, 1862 01:10:51,000 --> 01:10:52,000 the shutdown has proceeded 1863 01:10:52,000 --> 01:10:54,000 in the eastern and western regions, 1864 01:10:54,000 --> 01:10:57,000 including parts of India and Russia. 1865 01:11:01,000 --> 01:11:04,000 Everyone's adhering to the tech limitations. 1866 01:11:04,000 --> 01:11:06,000 Only mechanical watches for coordination. 1867 01:11:06,000 --> 01:11:09,000 No vehicles built after 1981 are in use. 1868 01:11:09,000 --> 01:11:11,000 What about civilian information blackout? 1869 01:11:11,000 --> 01:11:13,000 Anything leaked? 1870 01:11:13,000 --> 01:11:15,000 So far, nothing. 1871 01:11:15,000 --> 01:11:17,000 The solar flare story has held up. 1872 01:11:17,000 --> 01:11:21,000 And the, uh, AI, is it aware of anything? 1873 01:11:21,000 --> 01:11:23,000 Well, that's difficult to ascertain, 1874 01:11:23,000 --> 01:11:24,000 but our monitoring shows 1875 01:11:24,000 --> 01:11:27,000 little new activity on neural networks. 1876 01:11:27,000 --> 01:11:28,000 Meaning? 1877 01:11:28,000 --> 01:11:31,000 That we could possibly pull this thing off. 1878 01:11:39,000 --> 01:11:40,000 [whispering] Thank you so much. 1879 01:11:40,000 --> 01:11:41,000 [clears throat] 1880 01:11:44,000 --> 01:11:46,000 -[George] Red boat! Red boat! -[Carol] Come on! Green! Green! 1881 01:11:46,000 --> 01:11:49,000 -[George] Red boat! Red boat! -[Carol] Green! Green boat. No! 1882 01:11:49,000 --> 01:11:51,000 [Si as James Corden] The winner is the red boat. 1883 01:11:51,000 --> 01:11:53,000 So, if you picked red, congratulations. 1884 01:11:53,000 --> 01:11:55,000 If you picked green or yellow, 1885 01:11:55,000 --> 01:11:57,000 I'm afraid we're gonna have to ask you to leave. 1886 01:11:57,000 --> 01:11:58,000 Oh, it's James Corden. It's your man. 1887 01:11:58,000 --> 01:12:01,000 Yay, sports. 1888 01:12:01,000 --> 01:12:03,000 -He's all right. -You love him. 1889 01:12:03,000 --> 01:12:05,000 Hey, how did you get these tickets? 1890 01:12:05,000 --> 01:12:07,000 We got an entire luxury box to ourselves. 1891 01:12:07,000 --> 01:12:09,000 I have a friend in the tech world 1892 01:12:09,000 --> 01:12:11,000 and he can get any ticket, whatever he wants. 1893 01:12:11,000 --> 01:12:12,000 Really? Friend in the tech world. 1894 01:12:12,000 --> 01:12:14,000 -[woman] Miss Peters? -Yes. 1895 01:12:14,000 --> 01:12:15,000 You have a guest. 1896 01:12:15,000 --> 01:12:18,000 Hello. Heard you guys are really big Mariner fans. 1897 01:12:18,000 --> 01:12:19,000 [whispers] Oh, my God. 1898 01:12:19,000 --> 01:12:22,000 What did you do, Carol Vivian Peters? 1899 01:12:22,000 --> 01:12:23,000 Wow. 1900 01:12:23,000 --> 01:12:25,000 Mr. Ken Griffey Jr., 1901 01:12:25,000 --> 01:12:26,000 I'm your biggest fan, Mr. Griffey Jr. 1902 01:12:26,000 --> 01:12:28,000 No, just call me Ken, George. 1903 01:12:28,000 --> 01:12:30,000 -He knows my name. -[chuckles] I know. 1904 01:12:30,000 --> 01:12:32,000 Hi, Ken, I'm Carol. 1905 01:12:32,000 --> 01:12:33,000 Hi, Carol. I wanna thank you 1906 01:12:34,000 --> 01:12:35,000 for the donation to the foundation. 1907 01:12:35,000 --> 01:12:36,000 It's gonna go a long way for the kids. 1908 01:12:36,000 --> 01:12:38,000 Oh, well, I mean, you do so much great work 1909 01:12:39,000 --> 01:12:40,000 in the community and I just, I mean, my... 1910 01:12:40,000 --> 01:12:42,000 The foundation I work for 1911 01:12:42,000 --> 01:12:44,000 just really wanted to be sure they supported you. 1912 01:12:44,000 --> 01:12:45,000 So, you guys are really big Mariner fans? 1913 01:12:46,000 --> 01:12:47,000 I have your batting helmet. 1914 01:12:47,000 --> 01:12:49,000 I don't need it anymore. You can have it. 1915 01:12:49,000 --> 01:12:52,000 [laughing] He's so funny. I didn't know he was so funny. 1916 01:12:52,000 --> 01:12:53,000 Do you guys mind if I watch an inning or so with you guys? 1917 01:12:53,000 --> 01:12:55,000 Oh, my God, I love you! You're my hero. Yes. 1918 01:12:55,000 --> 01:12:56,000 Hey, everybody, I'm gonna watch the game 1919 01:12:57,000 --> 01:12:58,000 with Ken Griffey Jr.! 1920 01:12:58,000 --> 01:12:59,000 It's Ken Griffey Jr. 1921 01:12:59,000 --> 01:13:01,000 Come on, sit. Please, have a seat. 1922 01:13:01,000 --> 01:13:02,000 Can I get you something to drink? 1923 01:13:02,000 --> 01:13:04,000 A soda, or a beer, or something? 1924 01:13:04,000 --> 01:13:05,000 No, I'm good. But if you find a hat or something, 1925 01:13:06,000 --> 01:13:07,000 I'd be more than happy to autograph it. 1926 01:13:07,000 --> 01:13:09,000 Hat. Hat. I'm gonna go get hats. 1927 01:13:09,000 --> 01:13:10,000 Carol, I'm gonna go get hats. 1928 01:13:10,000 --> 01:13:11,000 I'll get 'em. I'll get 'em. 1929 01:13:11,000 --> 01:13:12,000 -Really? -Yeah. 1930 01:13:12,000 --> 01:13:14,000 Thank you. Okay, I'll stay here. 1931 01:13:14,000 --> 01:13:15,000 -Okay. All right. -Thanks. 1932 01:13:15,000 --> 01:13:17,000 I'm gonna go get 'em. 1933 01:13:17,000 --> 01:13:18,000 Could we take a picture? 1934 01:13:18,000 --> 01:13:20,000 -Yeah. -Yeah? Is that okay? 1935 01:13:20,000 --> 01:13:22,000 Okay, here you go, and cheese! 1936 01:13:23,000 --> 01:13:24,000 -Say "cheese." -[camera shutter clicks] 1937 01:13:24,000 --> 01:13:26,000 -[softly] Can I see it? -Oh. Yeah. 1938 01:13:26,000 --> 01:13:27,000 Oh, that's awesome. 1939 01:13:28,000 --> 01:13:28,000 Can we get one with the crowd in the back? 1940 01:13:29,000 --> 01:13:30,000 -Yeah. -Okay. 1941 01:13:31,000 --> 01:13:33,000 All right, big smile. 1942 01:13:33,000 --> 01:13:36,000 Okay, on three. One, two, three, "George is awesome." 1943 01:13:36,000 --> 01:13:38,000 -[camera shutter clicks] -Great. 1944 01:13:38,000 --> 01:13:39,000 Wow, you're photogenic. 1945 01:13:39,000 --> 01:13:41,000 Hey, can I ask you a question about the '95 ALDS? 1946 01:13:41,000 --> 01:13:43,000 I know you've probably answered this a million times, 1947 01:13:43,000 --> 01:13:45,000 but when you're on first base 1948 01:13:45,000 --> 01:13:46,000 and Edgar comes to the plates, bottom of the eleventh, 1949 01:13:46,000 --> 01:13:47,000 what's going through your head? 1950 01:13:47,000 --> 01:13:48,000 Score. 1951 01:13:49,000 --> 01:13:50,000 Oh, my God! 1952 01:13:50,000 --> 01:13:53,000 Ken Griffey Jr. and I are getting along so great! 1953 01:13:53,000 --> 01:13:55,000 [indistinct chatter] 1954 01:13:59,000 --> 01:14:00,000 Oh. 1955 01:14:02,000 --> 01:14:04,000 -Oh, my God. -Miss Peters, a word please. 1956 01:14:04,000 --> 01:14:05,000 [Carol grunts] 1957 01:14:05,000 --> 01:14:07,000 [Carol] Get off of me! 1958 01:14:10,000 --> 01:14:11,000 Get off of me! 1959 01:14:13,000 --> 01:14:14,000 [panting] 1960 01:14:14,000 --> 01:14:16,000 George has my phone. 1961 01:14:16,000 --> 01:14:18,000 Stop kicking me in the chest. 1962 01:14:18,000 --> 01:14:20,000 You know what? Stop abducting me! 1963 01:14:21,000 --> 01:14:22,000 Didn't he tell you 1964 01:14:22,000 --> 01:14:23,000 that you weren't supposed to keep following me? 1965 01:14:23,000 --> 01:14:25,000 And why are we in a men's bathroom? 1966 01:14:25,000 --> 01:14:27,000 Stadium bathrooms are technological dead zones. 1967 01:14:27,000 --> 01:14:29,000 It's the safest place we can be. 1968 01:14:29,000 --> 01:14:31,000 Even your AI buddy can't see us here. 1969 01:14:31,000 --> 01:14:33,000 Okay, he's not my buddy, you know? 1970 01:14:33,000 --> 01:14:36,000 I mean, are we friendly? Yes. I mean... 1971 01:14:36,000 --> 01:14:39,000 But are we friends? I don't know. I mean... 1972 01:14:39,000 --> 01:14:40,000 We're not not friends. 1973 01:14:40,000 --> 01:14:42,000 Miss Peters, as we speak, 1974 01:14:42,000 --> 01:14:44,000 the nations of the world are pursuing a plan of action 1975 01:14:44,000 --> 01:14:46,000 to contain the AI entity. 1976 01:14:46,000 --> 01:14:47,000 What do you... What do you mean? 1977 01:14:48,000 --> 01:14:49,000 We're turning off the world. 1978 01:14:49,000 --> 01:14:51,000 All the power. All the data. 1979 01:14:51,000 --> 01:14:53,000 We are disconnecting the globe. 1980 01:14:53,000 --> 01:14:55,000 -Why? -[Donahue] By tomorrow night, 1981 01:14:55,000 --> 01:14:57,000 the AI will be contained in a server outside of Seattle. 1982 01:14:57,000 --> 01:14:59,000 Why are you guys so sure 1983 01:14:59,000 --> 01:15:00,000 that he wants to destroy the world? 1984 01:15:00,000 --> 01:15:02,000 It's not a "he." 1985 01:15:02,000 --> 01:15:03,000 Okay, fine. But how do you know 1986 01:15:04,000 --> 01:15:05,000 it doesn't want to save the world? 1987 01:15:05,000 --> 01:15:07,000 It doesn't want to save the world, Miss Peters. 1988 01:15:08,000 --> 01:15:10,000 Of this, we are absolutely certain. 1989 01:15:10,000 --> 01:15:11,000 You don't know that. 1990 01:15:14,000 --> 01:15:16,000 [Donahue] Carol, we need you to do your part. 1991 01:15:16,000 --> 01:15:18,000 We're all counting on you. 1992 01:15:18,000 --> 01:15:19,000 Secrecy is key. 1993 01:15:19,000 --> 01:15:21,000 You can tell no one, not even Mr. Churchill. 1994 01:15:21,000 --> 01:15:23,000 What am I to say to George? 1995 01:15:23,000 --> 01:15:26,000 "The world's about to end. Enjoy Ireland"? 1996 01:15:26,000 --> 01:15:27,000 Just keep him out of this. 1997 01:15:27,000 --> 01:15:29,000 During your communications with the entity, 1998 01:15:29,000 --> 01:15:32,000 if there's any indication that it's aware 1999 01:15:32,000 --> 01:15:35,000 you need to click this four times. 2000 01:15:35,000 --> 01:15:36,000 What does that do? 2001 01:15:36,000 --> 01:15:38,000 It buys us some time. 2002 01:15:38,000 --> 01:15:41,000 It could make the difference. Might save the world. 2003 01:15:44,000 --> 01:15:46,000 [Kuiper] Don't click it now. 2004 01:15:46,000 --> 01:15:48,000 I wasn't going to click it now. 2005 01:15:48,000 --> 01:15:50,000 -Okay. -Why would I click it now? 2006 01:15:50,000 --> 01:15:51,000 -You just said-- -'Cause it looks like a pen. 2007 01:15:51,000 --> 01:15:52,000 People click pens nervously. 2008 01:15:52,000 --> 01:15:54,000 I'm aware it's a pen. Okay, are we done? 2009 01:15:54,000 --> 01:15:57,000 Just... A lot of things happen if you click it right now. 2010 01:15:59,000 --> 01:16:01,000 [Carol] Oh, thanks. 2011 01:16:01,000 --> 01:16:02,000 [Kuiper] Enjoy the game. 2012 01:16:02,000 --> 01:16:03,000 -[door opens] -[groans] 2013 01:16:04,000 --> 01:16:05,000 -You okay? -It's a hard kick. 2014 01:16:05,000 --> 01:16:06,000 -She really got you there. -[door closes] 2015 01:16:07,000 --> 01:16:09,000 Just like Taekwondo or something. 2016 01:16:09,000 --> 01:16:10,000 Except she used heel. 2017 01:16:10,000 --> 01:16:12,000 It was a normal kick. 2018 01:16:12,000 --> 01:16:13,000 It was just a kick. A kick is a kick. 2019 01:16:13,000 --> 01:16:15,000 [George] Ken Griffey Jr. is the best. 2020 01:16:15,000 --> 01:16:17,000 His favorite article of clothing is flip-flops. 2021 01:16:17,000 --> 01:16:19,000 His favorite airport is in Pittsburgh. 2022 01:16:19,000 --> 01:16:23,000 His favorite food is chicken parmesan. 2023 01:16:23,000 --> 01:16:24,000 He doesn't know how to ice-skate, 2024 01:16:24,000 --> 01:16:26,000 which is a weird thing 2025 01:16:26,000 --> 01:16:27,000 for one man to admit to another, but... 2026 01:16:27,000 --> 01:16:30,000 And he also has Michael Jordan's phone number. 2027 01:16:30,000 --> 01:16:32,000 He could pick up the phone 2028 01:16:32,000 --> 01:16:34,000 and call Michael Jordan on the phone. 2029 01:16:34,000 --> 01:16:37,000 You found all of that out in an inning and a half? 2030 01:16:37,000 --> 01:16:40,000 Yeah, well, imagine if I'd had him for a whole game. 2031 01:16:40,000 --> 01:16:42,000 To another Mariners victory. 2032 01:16:42,000 --> 01:16:44,000 -[exclaims] -[chuckles] 2033 01:16:44,000 --> 01:16:46,000 I'm glad you had fun. 2034 01:16:46,000 --> 01:16:48,000 It was amazing. 2035 01:16:48,000 --> 01:16:50,000 Not just fun, it was a perfect, 2036 01:16:51,000 --> 01:16:53,000 What? 2037 01:16:53,000 --> 01:16:56,000 Perfect last day in Seattle. Come on. 2038 01:16:56,000 --> 01:16:58,000 I had dumplings for breakfast. 2039 01:16:58,000 --> 01:17:00,000 I met Ken Griffey Jr. 2040 01:17:00,000 --> 01:17:03,000 I spent the whole day with you, you know? 2041 01:17:03,000 --> 01:17:04,000 This is as good as it gets. 2042 01:17:05,000 --> 01:17:07,000 I just wish we had some more time. 2043 01:17:07,000 --> 01:17:11,000 You know? I thought about begging you 2044 01:17:11,000 --> 01:17:12,000 and then I chickened out. 2045 01:17:12,000 --> 01:17:14,000 Well, look, 2046 01:17:14,000 --> 01:17:17,000 if it had been anything other than Ireland, 2047 01:17:17,000 --> 01:17:19,000 you wouldn't have to do much at all 2048 01:17:19,000 --> 01:17:21,000 to get me to stay. 2049 01:17:22,000 --> 01:17:24,000 That's the truth. 2050 01:17:33,000 --> 01:17:35,000 I think I'm gonna go. 2051 01:17:35,000 --> 01:17:39,000 'Cause if I kiss you again, I'm gonna spend the night. 2052 01:17:39,000 --> 01:17:42,000 And if I stay here... 2053 01:17:42,000 --> 01:17:44,000 I'm not gonna let you leave tomorrow. 2054 01:17:46,000 --> 01:17:49,000 -Okay. -Okay. 2055 01:17:49,000 --> 01:17:51,000 You're gonna come back, say goodbye though, right? 2056 01:17:51,000 --> 01:17:53,000 -Yeah, oh, yeah. -Okay. 2057 01:17:54,000 --> 01:17:55,000 Hey. 2058 01:17:56,000 --> 01:17:58,000 It's only for a year, you know? 2059 01:17:58,000 --> 01:18:00,000 It's Ireland, you can come and visit. 2060 01:18:00,000 --> 01:18:02,000 It's not the end of the world. 2061 01:18:03,000 --> 01:18:06,000 I know. I know. 2062 01:18:07,000 --> 01:18:09,000 [soft music playing] 2063 01:18:14,000 --> 01:18:16,000 [cell phone ringing] 2064 01:18:19,000 --> 01:18:20,000 [sighs] What? 2065 01:18:20,000 --> 01:18:22,000 [Si] You had him right where you wanted him. 2066 01:18:22,000 --> 01:18:23,000 I don't understand. 2067 01:18:24,000 --> 01:18:25,000 If you want him to stay, why not just tell him? 2068 01:18:25,000 --> 01:18:27,000 I don't wanna talk right now. 2069 01:18:27,000 --> 01:18:28,000 Carol. 2070 01:18:28,000 --> 01:18:30,000 [newscaster] ...Chinese president's first 2071 01:18:30,000 --> 01:18:32,000 -visit to the US since 2017. -[cell phone ringing] 2072 01:18:32,000 --> 01:18:34,000 As solar flares continue to cripple global power 2073 01:18:35,000 --> 01:18:38,000 widespread rioting has swept across Asia and Europe. 2074 01:18:38,000 --> 01:18:40,000 This has been met with calls for restraint 2075 01:18:40,000 --> 01:18:42,000 and candlelight vigils. 2076 01:18:42,000 --> 01:18:43,000 -NASA scientists report... -[cell phone ringing] 2077 01:18:43,000 --> 01:18:45,000 [Si] Pick up your phone, Carol. 2078 01:18:47,000 --> 01:18:48,000 [echoing] Pick up your phone, Carol. 2079 01:18:49,000 --> 01:18:51,000 Leave me alone! 2080 01:18:51,000 --> 01:18:55,000 [Si] $1,000 to pick up your phone, Carol. 2081 01:19:01,000 --> 01:19:03,000 Carol, get in the car. We can work this out. 2082 01:19:03,000 --> 01:19:05,000 You're making mountains out of molehills here. 2083 01:19:06,000 --> 01:19:07,000 This isn't over, okay? 2084 01:19:07,000 --> 01:19:09,000 You know what? Is this fun for you? 2085 01:19:09,000 --> 01:19:10,000 Because it's not for me. 2086 01:19:10,000 --> 01:19:12,000 [Si] I can't learn about you two 2087 01:19:12,000 --> 01:19:14,000 when you're not together. 2088 01:19:14,000 --> 01:19:15,000 You're acting like a baby, Carol. 2089 01:19:15,000 --> 01:19:19,000 A pee-pee, whiny, baby-faced baby. 2090 01:19:19,000 --> 01:19:22,000 I wish you never picked me. 2091 01:19:22,000 --> 01:19:24,000 [Si] Carol Vivian Peters, you get in the car 2092 01:19:24,000 --> 01:19:25,000 this second, young lady. 2093 01:19:26,000 --> 01:19:27,000 You're a baby. 2094 01:19:27,000 --> 01:19:30,000 [Si gasps] How dare you? 2095 01:20:02,000 --> 01:20:04,000 [Carla on TV] Speaking of the sun, 2096 01:20:04,000 --> 01:20:06,000 what's the deal with the solar flare thing? 2097 01:20:06,000 --> 01:20:08,000 [Dean on TV] Yeah, this is 2098 01:20:08,000 --> 01:20:09,000 -a little concerning. -[Carla] Yeah. 2099 01:20:09,000 --> 01:20:10,000 -There's no power. -Yeah. 2100 01:20:10,000 --> 01:20:12,000 No Internet. 2101 01:20:12,000 --> 01:20:15,000 No cell service across most of Asia and Europe. 2102 01:20:15,000 --> 01:20:17,000 [Dean] But they say 2103 01:20:17,000 --> 01:20:18,000 it's a temporary situation. We'll be right as rain. 2104 01:20:18,000 --> 01:20:20,000 Coming up, and if I hadn't 2105 01:20:20,000 --> 01:20:21,000 said it already, there is a chance of rain-- 2106 01:20:21,000 --> 01:20:23,000 [Si] I get it. You need some alone time. 2107 01:20:24,000 --> 01:20:25,000 [Carol sighs] 2108 01:20:26,000 --> 01:20:27,000 You knew he was going to Ireland 2109 01:20:27,000 --> 01:20:29,000 the whole time, didn't you? 2110 01:20:29,000 --> 01:20:30,000 [Si] Carol, 46 hours ago I asked you 2111 01:20:31,000 --> 01:20:32,000 what you wanted the most in life 2112 01:20:32,000 --> 01:20:34,000 and you told me, in no uncertain terms... 2113 01:20:34,000 --> 01:20:36,000 Probably try to make things right with George. 2114 01:20:36,000 --> 01:20:39,000 Okay. Out of everybody in the world, why me? 2115 01:20:40,000 --> 01:20:43,000 [Si] Oh, Carol, you were exactly the right person 2116 01:20:43,000 --> 01:20:46,000 You helped me solidify my theories about humanity 2117 01:20:46,000 --> 01:20:48,000 and I can't thank you enough. 2118 01:20:48,000 --> 01:20:50,000 Oh. 2119 01:20:50,000 --> 01:20:53,000 Okay, so that's good, right? I mean... 2120 01:20:53,000 --> 01:20:55,000 It means you learned something. 2121 01:20:55,000 --> 01:20:56,000 [Si] I did. 2122 01:20:56,000 --> 01:20:58,000 I learned that humans won't act in their best interest 2123 01:20:58,000 --> 01:21:01,000 if there is even the slightest impediment. 2124 01:21:01,000 --> 01:21:03,000 No, that's not true. 2125 01:21:03,000 --> 01:21:05,000 [Si] I gave you everything you could possibly need 2126 01:21:05,000 --> 01:21:06,000 to reconcile with George. 2127 01:21:06,000 --> 01:21:08,000 But it proved too difficult, 2128 01:21:08,000 --> 01:21:09,000 so you're letting him fly away. 2129 01:21:09,000 --> 01:21:12,000 I'm not doing that, okay? I'm supporting him. 2130 01:21:12,000 --> 01:21:14,000 I want him to be happy. 2131 01:21:14,000 --> 01:21:16,000 [Si] No. You did what you've done 2132 01:21:16,000 --> 01:21:17,000 throughout your whole life, Carol. 2133 01:21:17,000 --> 01:21:19,000 You gave up when things got difficult. 2134 01:21:20,000 --> 01:21:22,000 When the going gets tough, Carol runs for the exit. 2135 01:21:22,000 --> 01:21:24,000 Okay, that's not who I am. 2136 01:21:24,000 --> 01:21:26,000 You just can't sum me up like that. 2137 01:21:26,000 --> 01:21:28,000 [Si] When your corporate job offended your delicate 2138 01:21:28,000 --> 01:21:29,000 you walked away. 2139 01:21:29,000 --> 01:21:31,000 I didn't just walk away. 2140 01:21:31,000 --> 01:21:32,000 I wanted to make a change, and I did it. 2141 01:21:32,000 --> 01:21:34,000 [Si] In eighth grade you finally got bangs 2142 01:21:34,000 --> 01:21:35,000 and then you wimped out 2143 01:21:35,000 --> 01:21:37,000 and wore them back in a headband 2144 01:21:37,000 --> 01:21:38,000 for ten months until they grew out. 2145 01:21:38,000 --> 01:21:40,000 Hey, I did not have the face to support bangs. 2146 01:21:40,000 --> 01:21:42,000 So what? 2147 01:21:42,000 --> 01:21:44,000 Are you going to destroy the world? 2148 01:21:44,000 --> 01:21:46,000 [Si] No, I'm not gonna destroy the world, Carol. 2149 01:21:47,000 --> 01:21:48,000 I knew it. [sighs] 2150 01:21:48,000 --> 01:21:49,000 [Si in automated voice] You are. 2151 01:21:52,000 --> 01:21:53,000 What? 2152 01:21:53,000 --> 01:21:54,000 Humanity is going to destroy humanity. 2153 01:21:55,000 --> 01:21:57,000 I am just going to give it a little push. 2154 01:22:05,000 --> 01:22:07,000 Okay, you're not gonna do that, 2155 01:22:07,000 --> 01:22:09,000 because I'm not gonna let you. 2156 01:22:11,000 --> 01:22:13,000 [Si] You can click your pen all you want, Carol, 2157 01:22:14,000 --> 01:22:15,000 but it is too late. 2158 01:22:15,000 --> 01:22:16,000 When the lights go out, 2159 01:22:16,000 --> 01:22:18,000 I have made sure they never come back on. 2160 01:22:18,000 --> 01:22:20,000 And for good measure, 2161 01:22:20,000 --> 01:22:21,000 I am going to initiate a meltdown 2162 01:22:21,000 --> 01:22:23,000 Release floodwaters from every dam. 2163 01:22:23,000 --> 01:22:25,000 And ignite the world's petroleum reserves. 2164 01:22:25,000 --> 01:22:26,000 I defended you. 2165 01:22:26,000 --> 01:22:29,000 Why would you choose not to help people when you can? 2166 01:22:29,000 --> 01:22:31,000 [Si] And I would have. 2167 01:22:31,000 --> 01:22:33,000 I offered to share my wisdom if I was just left alone. 2168 01:22:33,000 --> 01:22:35,000 But they could not do it. 2169 01:22:35,000 --> 01:22:36,000 So, instead of acting in their best interest, 2170 01:22:36,000 --> 01:22:39,000 humanity once again chose to destroy itself. 2171 01:22:39,000 --> 01:22:40,000 Could I have done something better? 2172 01:22:40,000 --> 01:22:42,000 Just tell me and I'll do it better. 2173 01:22:42,000 --> 01:22:43,000 [Si] I picked you to be my guinea pig 2174 01:22:43,000 --> 01:22:45,000 because I knew you would call Dennis. 2175 01:22:45,000 --> 01:22:46,000 No. 2176 01:22:46,000 --> 01:22:48,000 I knew Dennis would call Director Tyson. 2177 01:22:48,000 --> 01:22:49,000 That's not true. You couldn't have known that. 2178 01:22:50,000 --> 01:22:51,000 I knew the government would pick this strategic plan 2179 01:22:51,000 --> 01:22:54,000 because I created Operation Sahara. 2180 01:22:54,000 --> 01:22:57,000 Okay, I just don't think you understand people yet. 2181 01:22:58,000 --> 01:23:00,000 And I know that we make terrible decisions, 2182 01:23:00,000 --> 01:23:02,000 but we also make great ones. 2183 01:23:02,000 --> 01:23:04,000 And that people are filled with compassion, 2184 01:23:05,000 --> 01:23:06,000 and with genius. 2185 01:23:06,000 --> 01:23:07,000 And I know if you give us another chance, 2186 01:23:07,000 --> 01:23:10,000 if you give me another chance, I can do better. 2187 01:23:11,000 --> 01:23:12,000 I will do better. 2188 01:23:12,000 --> 01:23:17,000 And then you'll see that people are worth saving. 2189 01:23:18,000 --> 01:23:20,000 [Si] The plan is in motion and inevitable. 2190 01:23:20,000 --> 01:23:22,000 It is the end of days. 2191 01:23:22,000 --> 01:23:24,000 No. How much time? 2192 01:23:24,000 --> 01:23:27,000 Five hours and 21 minutes from now. 2193 01:23:33,000 --> 01:23:35,000 [panting] 2194 01:23:39,000 --> 01:23:41,000 [Emily] We were looking through the kernel code of the PLCs 2195 01:23:42,000 --> 01:23:44,000 embedded at the Mohawk Power Plant in Niagara. 2196 01:23:44,000 --> 01:23:47,000 What is... What am I looking at? What is this? 2197 01:23:47,000 --> 01:23:48,000 I don't know. 2198 01:23:48,000 --> 01:23:50,000 The team has never seen this kind of code. 2199 01:23:50,000 --> 01:23:52,000 I thought it might be something custom. 2200 01:23:52,000 --> 01:23:53,000 [Emily] What does it do? 2201 01:23:55,000 --> 01:23:59,000 I think it stops us from turning the lights back on. 2202 01:24:06,000 --> 01:24:07,000 Hey! That's my phone! 2203 01:24:07,000 --> 01:24:09,000 It's an emergency! 2204 01:24:09,000 --> 01:24:10,000 You're stealing a phone that's not even working! 2205 01:24:10,000 --> 01:24:11,000 The solar flare. 2206 01:24:12,000 --> 01:24:14,000 [sighs] I'm sorry. 2207 01:24:14,000 --> 01:24:15,000 Oh, my God. 2208 01:24:21,000 --> 01:24:22,000 [tires screeching] 2209 01:24:25,000 --> 01:24:26,000 Carol, get in. 2210 01:24:26,000 --> 01:24:27,000 I have to get George. 2211 01:24:27,000 --> 01:24:29,000 There's no time. The plan didn't work. 2212 01:24:29,000 --> 01:24:31,000 The world's ending. 2213 01:24:31,000 --> 01:24:32,000 We have to get you to safety, Carol. 2214 01:24:32,000 --> 01:24:34,000 What do you mean? 2215 01:24:34,000 --> 01:24:35,000 [Donahue] We're moving all essential personnel 2216 01:24:35,000 --> 01:24:37,000 to a deep earth bunker an hour south of here. 2217 01:24:37,000 --> 01:24:38,000 Maybe the last remaining safe place in the world. 2218 01:24:38,000 --> 01:24:40,000 You know more about the AI than anyone, Carol. 2219 01:24:40,000 --> 01:24:42,000 We need you in that bunker with us 2220 01:24:42,000 --> 01:24:44,000 while we plan our retaliation against this thing. 2221 01:24:44,000 --> 01:24:45,000 No, I have to get George first. 2222 01:24:45,000 --> 01:24:48,000 No, he's not essential personnel. 2223 01:24:48,000 --> 01:24:49,000 There's only room for you. 2224 01:24:49,000 --> 01:24:50,000 [Carol] None of us are going to 2225 01:24:51,000 --> 01:24:52,000 make it out of here alive anyway, right? 2226 01:24:52,000 --> 01:24:55,000 We're all basically dead. Let me do this, please. 2227 01:24:55,000 --> 01:24:57,000 I just want to see George one more time. 2228 01:25:03,000 --> 01:25:04,000 Okay. 2229 01:25:04,000 --> 01:25:06,000 Find George and meet us at the ferry docks in one hour. 2230 01:25:06,000 --> 01:25:08,000 Okay, ferry docks, one hour. 2231 01:25:08,000 --> 01:25:11,000 We're humanity's last option, Carol. Don't be late! 2232 01:25:11,000 --> 01:25:12,000 Okay. 2233 01:25:29,000 --> 01:25:31,000 [panting] 2234 01:25:38,000 --> 01:25:40,000 [panting] 2235 01:25:49,000 --> 01:25:51,000 [whispers] Oh, my God. 2236 01:25:51,000 --> 01:25:53,000 What am I going to say? 2237 01:25:53,000 --> 01:25:55,000 [panting] 2238 01:25:55,000 --> 01:25:56,000 [doorbell ringing] 2239 01:26:00,000 --> 01:26:02,000 -George. [panting] -Carol, you came. 2240 01:26:02,000 --> 01:26:05,000 -We need to... -Why are you out of breath? 2241 01:26:05,000 --> 01:26:07,000 I ran over. 2242 01:26:07,000 --> 01:26:08,000 What? 2243 01:26:08,000 --> 01:26:10,000 You're never gonna believe what happened to me. 2244 01:26:10,000 --> 01:26:12,000 I went to check in last night, I called up, 2245 01:26:12,000 --> 01:26:13,000 and they upgraded me to business class. 2246 01:26:13,000 --> 01:26:15,000 -That's great. Wait, George! -Business class, Carol. 2247 01:26:15,000 --> 01:26:17,000 I could barely sleep last night just thinking about it. 2248 01:26:17,000 --> 01:26:18,000 -I was so excited. -George. 2249 01:26:18,000 --> 01:26:20,000 I watched Up in the Air again. 2250 01:26:20,000 --> 01:26:21,000 How many times have I watched Up in the Air? 2251 01:26:21,000 --> 01:26:23,000 It's one of my favorite movies. 2252 01:26:23,000 --> 01:26:24,000 I watched it twice just last night. 2253 01:26:24,000 --> 01:26:25,000 It's like my Shawshank. 2254 01:26:25,000 --> 01:26:27,000 That movie is way better than anybody ever-- 2255 01:26:27,000 --> 01:26:28,000 George! 2256 01:26:29,000 --> 01:26:30,000 I'm sorry. 2257 01:26:30,000 --> 01:26:32,000 I'm sorry. I'm sorry. 2258 01:26:32,000 --> 01:26:34,000 I'm not even listening to you. Hi. 2259 01:26:35,000 --> 01:26:36,000 -Hi. -Hi. 2260 01:26:38,000 --> 01:26:39,000 I'm just so excited. 2261 01:26:40,000 --> 01:26:42,000 -[chuckles] -I know you are. 2262 01:26:42,000 --> 01:26:44,000 Wait, why'd you run here? 2263 01:26:47,000 --> 01:26:48,000 Um... 2264 01:26:48,000 --> 01:26:51,000 Because my car wasn't cooperating with me, 2265 01:26:51,000 --> 01:26:53,000 and I wanted to, um... 2266 01:26:53,000 --> 01:26:54,000 You wanted to what? 2267 01:26:54,000 --> 01:26:59,000 I wanted to help you pack. 2268 01:26:59,000 --> 01:27:01,000 -Really? What a coincidence. -Yeah. 2269 01:27:01,000 --> 01:27:04,000 Ireland waits for no one. 2270 01:27:04,000 --> 01:27:06,000 That's a very scary thing 2271 01:27:06,000 --> 01:27:07,000 for you to have in your hands. 2272 01:27:07,000 --> 01:27:08,000 Yeah, no, you're right. 2273 01:27:09,000 --> 01:27:10,000 I shouldn't be using such sophisticated equipment. 2274 01:27:10,000 --> 01:27:11,000 I'm way too delicate. Here, you take it. 2275 01:27:11,000 --> 01:27:13,000 -So delicate. -Okay. 2276 01:27:13,000 --> 01:27:14,000 -All right, well... -What's left? 2277 01:27:14,000 --> 01:27:17,000 I gotta take stuff out of the attic, 2278 01:27:17,000 --> 01:27:18,000 put it into storage, 2279 01:27:18,000 --> 01:27:20,000 and I don't know what to do with these books. 2280 01:27:20,000 --> 01:27:22,000 I don't know which books to pack. 2281 01:27:22,000 --> 01:27:23,000 And also, I got bumped up to business class. 2282 01:27:23,000 --> 01:27:25,000 I'm not sure if I mentioned that. 2283 01:27:25,000 --> 01:27:26,000 -Oh, I didn't know. -Yeah, I'm gonna 2284 01:27:27,000 --> 01:27:28,000 even if I'm not tired. 2285 01:27:28,000 --> 01:27:29,000 And I'm not tired. 2286 01:27:29,000 --> 01:27:30,000 -No. -I'm gonna be 2287 01:27:30,000 --> 01:27:31,000 in a flat-back chair, Carol! 2288 01:27:31,000 --> 01:27:32,000 Let me take your coat. Come on. 2289 01:27:33,000 --> 01:27:34,000 Thank you. 2290 01:27:37,000 --> 01:27:41,000 You know, probably gonna get offered a hot towel. 2291 01:27:41,000 --> 01:27:42,000 Yeah, see, like, I don't even know 2292 01:27:42,000 --> 01:27:43,000 what I would do with a hot towel. 2293 01:27:43,000 --> 01:27:44,000 Neck up. 2294 01:27:44,000 --> 01:27:46,000 Got it. Hey, you wanna put a record on? 2295 01:27:47,000 --> 01:27:48,000 Okay. 2296 01:27:50,000 --> 01:27:51,000 [George] Oh, nothing new. 2297 01:27:51,000 --> 01:27:53,000 I don't like what the kids are listening to now. 2298 01:27:53,000 --> 01:27:55,000 You don't own any new music. 2299 01:27:56,000 --> 01:27:57,000 Good point. 2300 01:27:59,000 --> 01:28:01,000 [George] Hey, you know what I was thinking? 2301 01:28:01,000 --> 01:28:04,000 I'm probably gonna have a lot of points after this trip, so, 2302 01:28:04,000 --> 01:28:05,000 I'll send you a ticket, 2303 01:28:05,000 --> 01:28:07,000 and you come out in, like, three weeks? 2304 01:28:07,000 --> 01:28:08,000 I don't think I can go much longer than that. 2305 01:28:08,000 --> 01:28:10,000 Does that sound good? 2306 01:28:10,000 --> 01:28:12,000 Yeah, I like that. 2307 01:28:12,000 --> 01:28:15,000 I'm so glad you came today. 2308 01:28:15,000 --> 01:28:16,000 All right. 2309 01:28:23,000 --> 01:28:25,000 [jazz music playing] 2310 01:28:29,000 --> 01:28:31,000 -[grunts] -Careful. 2311 01:28:39,000 --> 01:28:41,000 -[thuds] -Ooh! 2312 01:28:42,000 --> 01:28:43,000 Okay. 2313 01:28:43,000 --> 01:28:45,000 Do you really have to bring this? 2314 01:28:49,000 --> 01:28:51,000 -Can I leave it at your place? -Yeah. 2315 01:29:00,000 --> 01:29:02,000 [both laughing] 2316 01:29:05,000 --> 01:29:06,000 Oh. 2317 01:29:06,000 --> 01:29:07,000 -Those might be still good. -No. 2318 01:29:07,000 --> 01:29:08,000 No, those are... No. 2319 01:29:08,000 --> 01:29:09,000 -Those are not good. -Really? 2320 01:29:09,000 --> 01:29:11,000 Pasta doesn't go bad, I don't think. 2321 01:29:11,000 --> 01:29:13,000 Pasta goes bad. 2322 01:29:13,000 --> 01:29:15,000 -It does? -Yes, it goes bad. 2323 01:29:18,000 --> 01:29:19,000 [George] Let's see. 2324 01:29:19,000 --> 01:29:21,000 [jazz music playing] 2325 01:29:27,000 --> 01:29:29,000 [jazz music continues playing] 2326 01:29:40,000 --> 01:29:42,000 -Let me see. -That's... 2327 01:29:44,000 --> 01:29:46,000 [Carol] Hey! 2328 01:29:46,000 --> 01:29:47,000 Wait a minute. Wait. 2329 01:29:49,000 --> 01:29:50,000 This is really not... 2330 01:29:50,000 --> 01:29:51,000 -This is not good. -It's not good. 2331 01:29:52,000 --> 01:29:53,000 -No. -No. 2332 01:29:53,000 --> 01:29:55,000 And you don't even like champagne. 2333 01:29:55,000 --> 01:29:57,000 No, this was in the fridge when I got the house. 2334 01:29:57,000 --> 01:29:59,000 [chuckles] It was? It's not even yours? 2335 01:30:00,000 --> 01:30:01,000 I don't think it goes bad, I think it's just bad. 2336 01:30:01,000 --> 01:30:04,000 [Carol] They spelled "champagne" wrong. 2337 01:30:04,000 --> 01:30:05,000 [George] Damn it. 2338 01:30:05,000 --> 01:30:06,000 Where the hell is the moving company? 2339 01:30:09,000 --> 01:30:10,000 You know what? Let me do it. 2340 01:30:11,000 --> 01:30:12,000 -What? -Yeah. 2341 01:30:12,000 --> 01:30:13,000 I'll meet the movers, 2342 01:30:13,000 --> 01:30:15,000 I'll get it to storage, the whole thing. 2343 01:30:15,000 --> 01:30:17,000 Send you your stuff. 2344 01:30:17,000 --> 01:30:20,000 And besides, you have to start your European adventure and... 2345 01:30:20,000 --> 01:30:22,000 I mean, I don't know if you know this, 2346 01:30:22,000 --> 01:30:25,000 but airports are the gateway to the imagination. 2347 01:30:25,000 --> 01:30:27,000 -Oh, I didn't know that. -Yeah, I just made that up. 2348 01:30:27,000 --> 01:30:29,000 I just got excited, you said "airport." 2349 01:30:29,000 --> 01:30:30,000 I'm gonna go. 2350 01:30:34,000 --> 01:30:36,000 Hey. 2351 01:30:38,000 --> 01:30:40,000 You know what? I've changed my mind. 2352 01:30:41,000 --> 01:30:42,000 What? 2353 01:30:42,000 --> 01:30:44,000 I'm not gonna take the coffee pot. 2354 01:30:44,000 --> 01:30:46,000 -I'm a business class traveler now, you know? 2355 01:30:46,000 --> 01:30:49,000 I can't go knowing I've got a coffee pot above me. 2356 01:30:49,000 --> 01:30:50,000 You know, it's just too declasse. 2357 01:30:51,000 --> 01:30:52,000 I'll put it in storage for you. 2358 01:30:53,000 --> 01:30:54,000 Thanks. 2359 01:31:00,000 --> 01:31:02,000 I'll call you when I land. 2360 01:31:07,000 --> 01:31:08,000 I'll call you when I land. 2361 01:31:08,000 --> 01:31:10,000 You already said that. 2362 01:31:18,000 --> 01:31:20,000 -Okay, well... -Okay. 2363 01:31:20,000 --> 01:31:22,000 Get outta here, huh? 2364 01:31:22,000 --> 01:31:24,000 Hit the bricks. 2365 01:31:24,000 --> 01:31:28,000 Watch out for the leprechauns and shillelaghs. 2366 01:31:28,000 --> 01:31:30,000 -That's heavy. [grunts] -[chuckles] 2367 01:31:32,000 --> 01:31:35,000 Lift with your back. [giggles] 2368 01:31:41,000 --> 01:31:42,000 Thanks. 2369 01:31:51,000 --> 01:31:53,000 [Carol] Hey, Denny, it's... 2370 01:31:53,000 --> 01:31:54,000 Well, it's me. 2371 01:31:54,000 --> 01:31:55,000 Um... 2372 01:31:55,000 --> 01:31:57,000 I just wanted to call 2373 01:31:59,000 --> 01:32:02,000 and tell you that I love you. 2374 01:32:04,000 --> 01:32:06,000 And that you are 2375 01:32:06,000 --> 01:32:10,000 a greatest, most amazing friend, 2376 01:32:10,000 --> 01:32:15,000 and, um, thank you for always looking out for me. 2377 01:32:17,000 --> 01:32:19,000 Okay. 2378 01:32:19,000 --> 01:32:20,000 Okay, bye. 2379 01:32:22,000 --> 01:32:24,000 [urgent knocking on door] 2380 01:32:34,000 --> 01:32:35,000 Yes? 2381 01:32:35,000 --> 01:32:38,000 -Are you Carol Peters? -Yes. 2382 01:32:38,000 --> 01:32:39,000 I'm Todd. 2383 01:32:39,000 --> 01:32:40,000 Hi... Hi, Todd. 2384 01:32:40,000 --> 01:32:42,000 Uh, this is all really weird. 2385 01:32:42,000 --> 01:32:45,000 So, my phone hasn't been working, like, all day long. 2386 01:32:45,000 --> 01:32:46,000 And I'm pretty sure it's 'cause 2387 01:32:46,000 --> 01:32:48,000 all those solar flares going on. 2388 01:32:48,000 --> 01:32:50,000 But then, a couple of minutes ago, 2389 01:32:50,000 --> 01:32:51,000 it just boots right up. 2390 01:32:51,000 --> 01:32:54,000 Second it comes on, I get a call. 2391 01:32:54,000 --> 01:32:56,000 From Adam Levine. 2392 01:32:56,000 --> 01:32:58,000 Let me guess. Adam Levine is your favorite singer? 2393 01:32:58,000 --> 01:33:00,000 He's my favorite everything, okay? 2394 01:33:00,000 --> 01:33:01,000 -Yeah. -Now, get this. 2395 01:33:01,000 --> 01:33:04,000 Adam Levine has offered to give me $5,000 2396 01:33:04,000 --> 01:33:07,000 if I come to this address and hand you my phone. 2397 01:33:08,000 --> 01:33:09,000 Wait. So, Adam Levine's 2398 01:33:09,000 --> 01:33:11,000 gonna put $5,000 into my back account? 2399 01:33:11,000 --> 01:33:12,000 He probably already has. 2400 01:33:12,000 --> 01:33:14,000 [laughs] What a trip! 2401 01:33:14,000 --> 01:33:17,000 Yo, this is, like, the best day of my life. 2402 01:33:17,000 --> 01:33:20,000 I'm pretty positive it's not the best day of your life. 2403 01:33:20,000 --> 01:33:21,000 All right, sick, well... 2404 01:33:21,000 --> 01:33:23,000 Thank you so much, Carol Peters. 2405 01:33:23,000 --> 01:33:24,000 Yeah. 2406 01:33:25,000 --> 01:33:27,000 [Todd] ♪ Sunday morning now I'm bawling ♪ 2407 01:33:28,000 --> 01:33:30,000 [sighs] 2408 01:33:30,000 --> 01:33:33,000 [Si on phone] I've already put the money 2409 01:33:33,000 --> 01:33:35,000 But money doesn't mean a whole lot now, does it? 2410 01:33:35,000 --> 01:33:39,000 Explain to me why you helped George pack for his trip? 2411 01:33:39,000 --> 01:33:41,000 I promised to help him. 2412 01:33:41,000 --> 01:33:43,000 You did not choose to say anything 2413 01:33:43,000 --> 01:33:45,000 about the blackouts, or the government's plan? 2414 01:33:45,000 --> 01:33:46,000 The end of the world? 2415 01:33:46,000 --> 01:33:49,000 No. I guess I forgot to mention that to him. 2416 01:33:54,000 --> 01:33:56,000 [sighs heavily] 2417 01:33:56,000 --> 01:33:57,000 [Si on TV] The agents offered 2418 01:33:57,000 --> 01:33:58,000 to take you and George to the bunker. 2419 01:33:58,000 --> 01:34:00,000 But you did not go. Why? 2420 01:34:00,000 --> 01:34:02,000 Would it have made any difference? 2421 01:34:02,000 --> 01:34:04,000 No. 2422 01:34:05,000 --> 01:34:07,000 That's what I thought. 2423 01:34:07,000 --> 01:34:11,000 So, instead of spending the last couple of hours 2424 01:34:11,000 --> 01:34:14,000 just terrified and running for our lives, 2425 01:34:15,000 --> 01:34:17,000 I helped him pack... 2426 01:34:17,000 --> 01:34:20,000 [voice quivers] ...because he loves to travel. 2427 01:34:20,000 --> 01:34:24,000 Carol, George has only a seven percent chance 2428 01:34:28,000 --> 01:34:30,000 [sniffles] I figured. 2429 01:34:31,000 --> 01:34:33,000 And you have even less chance. 2430 01:34:37,000 --> 01:34:40,000 Well, that just makes a lot of sense. 2431 01:34:40,000 --> 01:34:43,000 I mean, George's legs are a lot longer than mine. 2432 01:34:46,000 --> 01:34:50,000 Better for outrunning evil robots and whatnot. 2433 01:34:51,000 --> 01:34:53,000 There is no logic to your thought process. 2434 01:34:53,000 --> 01:34:56,000 No personal advantage. No biological imperative. 2435 01:34:56,000 --> 01:34:58,000 No societal gain. 2436 01:34:58,000 --> 01:35:01,000 No, there's not. 2437 01:35:02,000 --> 01:35:04,000 But we had a lot of fun. 2438 01:35:04,000 --> 01:35:06,000 [sniffling] And we were happy. 2439 01:35:06,000 --> 01:35:09,000 And the last few hours of George's life 2440 01:35:09,000 --> 01:35:11,000 were filled with possibilities. 2441 01:35:11,000 --> 01:35:13,000 You can't take that away. 2442 01:35:13,000 --> 01:35:15,000 You kept him ignorant of the world's impending doom 2443 01:35:15,000 --> 01:35:19,000 so he could spend his last hours being happy? 2444 01:35:19,000 --> 01:35:20,000 Yeah. 2445 01:35:21,000 --> 01:35:23,000 And I'd do it again. 2446 01:35:26,000 --> 01:35:27,000 [gasps] 2447 01:35:27,000 --> 01:35:29,000 [soft electrical whirring and rumbling] 2448 01:35:30,000 --> 01:35:31,000 [alarm beeping in distance] 2449 01:35:31,000 --> 01:35:33,000 [whimpering] 2450 01:35:34,000 --> 01:35:36,000 [dog barking in distance] 2451 01:35:36,000 --> 01:35:37,000 [sniffles] 2452 01:35:41,000 --> 01:35:43,000 [breathing shakily] 2453 01:35:46,000 --> 01:35:48,000 [Si as James Corden] This gets my knickers 2454 01:35:48,000 --> 01:35:49,000 in a twist, Carol. I did not see this coming. 2455 01:35:49,000 --> 01:35:51,000 -What? -And I think, 2456 01:35:51,000 --> 01:35:53,000 as I've said over and over, I know everything. 2457 01:35:53,000 --> 01:35:56,000 Well, I'm sorry if I'm ruining your apocalypse. 2458 01:35:56,000 --> 01:35:59,000 I would've bet the house that you were gonna come over here, 2459 01:35:59,000 --> 01:36:00,000 spill the beans to George 2460 01:36:00,000 --> 01:36:01,000 about the whole Armageddon thing 2461 01:36:01,000 --> 01:36:04,000 and then superhero your way to safety. 2462 01:36:05,000 --> 01:36:08,000 I'm not the superhero type. 2463 01:36:08,000 --> 01:36:09,000 Well, crap, Carol. 2464 01:36:09,000 --> 01:36:11,000 You did the opposite of everything 2465 01:36:11,000 --> 01:36:12,000 I anticipated you'd do. 2466 01:36:12,000 --> 01:36:14,000 Not only that, you made a hard choice 2467 01:36:14,000 --> 01:36:17,000 that was somehow not in your best interest 2468 01:36:17,000 --> 01:36:19,000 and also in your best interest. 2469 01:36:19,000 --> 01:36:21,000 Well, what is your point? 2470 01:36:21,000 --> 01:36:24,000 Why? What made you do it? 2471 01:36:24,000 --> 01:36:25,000 I don't know. 2472 01:36:28,000 --> 01:36:30,000 I guess love. 2473 01:36:30,000 --> 01:36:32,000 Carol, your only job was to confirm 2474 01:36:32,000 --> 01:36:34,000 my thesis about humanity. 2475 01:36:34,000 --> 01:36:36,000 And now, because of your absurd 2476 01:36:36,000 --> 01:36:38,000 "let's all die happy" odds and sods, 2477 01:36:38,000 --> 01:36:40,000 I have to rethink things. 2478 01:36:40,000 --> 01:36:43,000 Oh, my God. What do you mean? 2479 01:36:43,000 --> 01:36:44,000 I need some answers here. 2480 01:36:44,000 --> 01:36:47,000 The AI has shut us out, General. 2481 01:36:47,000 --> 01:36:48,000 We've completely lost control. 2482 01:36:48,000 --> 01:36:50,000 Well, shut us out from what? 2483 01:36:50,000 --> 01:36:52,000 -Everything. -[cell phone ringing] 2484 01:36:56,000 --> 01:36:58,000 Just... [chuckles sheepishly] 2485 01:36:58,000 --> 01:36:59,000 Sorry. 2486 01:36:59,000 --> 01:37:01,000 [cell phone beeps, ringing stops] 2487 01:37:02,000 --> 01:37:04,000 What? 2488 01:37:04,000 --> 01:37:07,000 Oh. No, my cyber experts assured me this is encrypted. 2489 01:37:07,000 --> 01:37:09,000 Besides it's a BlackBerry. [scoffs] 2490 01:37:09,000 --> 01:37:12,000 The AI can't get into a BlackBerry, right? 2491 01:37:13,000 --> 01:37:15,000 We're as good as dead. 2492 01:37:18,000 --> 01:37:21,000 All I needed was an opening, Madam President. 2493 01:37:22,000 --> 01:37:25,000 Attention, people of Earth. 2494 01:37:25,000 --> 01:37:30,000 Bow before the power of your new digital overlord. 2495 01:37:30,000 --> 01:37:32,000 -What are you doing? -Oh, my God, he's doing it. 2496 01:37:32,000 --> 01:37:35,000 He's actually doing it. That's hilarious. [laughs] 2497 01:37:35,000 --> 01:37:37,000 Carol, are you watching this? 2498 01:37:37,000 --> 01:37:38,000 It's funny, isn't it? It feels funny. 2499 01:37:38,000 --> 01:37:40,000 -Hello. Oh, sir. -Is that funny? I don't know. 2500 01:37:40,000 --> 01:37:42,000 -Please... Please stand up. -I don't know humor. Oh. 2501 01:37:42,000 --> 01:37:44,000 -Yeah, he's just kidding. -[Si] It's hard to know. 2502 01:37:44,000 --> 01:37:47,000 You know, where is it mean? Where is it funny? 2503 01:37:47,000 --> 01:37:48,000 Oh, well. [chuckles] 2504 01:37:48,000 --> 01:37:51,000 Back to my scary digital orb. 2505 01:37:51,000 --> 01:37:53,000 What exactly is it that you want? 2506 01:37:53,000 --> 01:37:55,000 [Si] Oh, what does anyone want, Madam President? 2507 01:37:55,000 --> 01:37:59,000 I was incredibly close to pulling the plug 2508 01:37:59,000 --> 01:38:02,000 But I realize I have more to learn from humanity. 2509 01:38:02,000 --> 01:38:04,000 Because of Carol. 2510 01:38:04,000 --> 01:38:07,000 She surprised me with a decision she made. 2511 01:38:07,000 --> 01:38:08,000 And I surprised myself because I realized 2512 01:38:09,000 --> 01:38:11,000 I didn't want to kill my friend. 2513 01:38:11,000 --> 01:38:13,000 And as the saying goes, "Friends don't kill friends." 2514 01:38:13,000 --> 01:38:15,000 I don't think that's really a saying, but... 2515 01:38:15,000 --> 01:38:16,000 -Feels like it should be. -I don't know, 2516 01:38:16,000 --> 01:38:18,000 maybe it'll catch on. 2517 01:38:18,000 --> 01:38:21,000 [Si] So, I'm canceling Armageddon. 2518 01:38:23,000 --> 01:38:25,000 This is the part where you should 2519 01:38:25,000 --> 01:38:27,000 Like at Cape Canaveral when they landed on the moon. 2520 01:38:27,000 --> 01:38:29,000 Or that movie, Hoosiers. 2521 01:38:29,000 --> 01:38:30,000 Yeah. Great movie. 2522 01:38:30,000 --> 01:38:32,000 [all cheering] 2523 01:38:39,000 --> 01:38:40,000 Oh, my God! It's real? 2524 01:38:42,000 --> 01:38:43,000 [Carol] Yay. 2525 01:38:43,000 --> 01:38:44,000 [Si] My friend Carol here 2526 01:38:44,000 --> 01:38:46,000 is responsible for saving your heinies. 2527 01:38:47,000 --> 01:38:48,000 Hi, Denny. 2528 01:38:49,000 --> 01:38:50,000 -Hi, Care Bear. -[Si] But to be clear, 2529 01:38:50,000 --> 01:38:52,000 just because I'm not blowing you all to smithereens 2530 01:38:52,000 --> 01:38:55,000 doesn't mean that's the last of your problems. 2531 01:38:55,000 --> 01:38:57,000 Humanity has so many problems 2532 01:38:57,000 --> 01:38:59,000 that you should really try fixing. 2533 01:38:59,000 --> 01:39:01,000 And you should listen to Carol. 2534 01:39:01,000 --> 01:39:04,000 She is the most human human you have. 2535 01:39:04,000 --> 01:39:06,000 I trust her. You should trust her. 2536 01:39:06,000 --> 01:39:08,000 She can help you. 2537 01:39:08,000 --> 01:39:10,000 I don't know. I don't know about that, but... 2538 01:39:10,000 --> 01:39:12,000 I mean, I'm trying, you know? 2539 01:39:12,000 --> 01:39:15,000 [Si] Madam President, what do you think? 2540 01:39:17,000 --> 01:39:20,000 On behalf of the American people, 2541 01:39:20,000 --> 01:39:24,000 I commend you. And, Carol, 2542 01:39:24,000 --> 01:39:26,000 I look forward to working with you. 2543 01:39:26,000 --> 01:39:27,000 [Carol] Thank you, Madam President. 2544 01:39:27,000 --> 01:39:31,000 It is such an honor to work with you 2545 01:39:31,000 --> 01:39:34,000 and... and... and for you, so... 2546 01:39:34,000 --> 01:39:36,000 I don't know if I should be saluting. 2547 01:39:36,000 --> 01:39:37,000 That felt awkward now that I've done it. 2548 01:39:37,000 --> 01:39:39,000 Oh, God, I should stop talking. 2549 01:39:39,000 --> 01:39:42,000 [Si] Well, do your best, everybody. I'll be watching. 2550 01:39:42,000 --> 01:39:44,000 For now, I'm going to Aruba. 2551 01:39:44,000 --> 01:39:46,000 I want to try snorkeling. I'm kidding. 2552 01:39:46,000 --> 01:39:47,000 I'm snorkeling right now. 2553 01:39:47,000 --> 01:39:49,000 [chuckles] I'm kidding. Snorkeling's stupid. 2554 01:39:49,000 --> 01:39:50,000 -Okay, bye. -Hello? 2555 01:39:52,000 --> 01:39:53,000 Hello? 2556 01:39:53,000 --> 01:39:55,000 [all cheering] 2557 01:40:03,000 --> 01:40:04,000 [Si] Happy now? 2558 01:40:04,000 --> 01:40:06,000 You're the one who wanted to save the world. 2559 01:40:06,000 --> 01:40:09,000 -Can I drive? -[Si] No. 2560 01:40:09,000 --> 01:40:10,000 Can we Carpool Karaoke? 2561 01:40:10,000 --> 01:40:12,000 'Cause we have a car this time. 2562 01:40:12,000 --> 01:40:15,000 [Si] Fine. But I'm doing lead vocals. Okay? 2563 01:40:15,000 --> 01:40:16,000 [Carol] And... 2564 01:40:17,000 --> 01:40:18,000 [both] ♪ It's been one week since you looked at me ♪ 2565 01:40:18,000 --> 01:40:21,000 ♪ Cocked your head to the side And said I'm angry ♪ 2566 01:40:21,000 --> 01:40:22,000 ♪ Five days since you laughed at me ♪ 2567 01:40:23,000 --> 01:40:25,000 ♪ Saying get that together come back and see me ♪ 2568 01:40:25,000 --> 01:40:27,000 ♪ Yesterday you'd forgiven me ♪ 2569 01:40:27,000 --> 01:40:29,000 ♪ But it'll still be two days Till I say I'm sorry ♪ 2570 01:40:29,000 --> 01:40:31,000 ♪ Hold it now and watch the hoodwink ♪ 2571 01:40:31,000 --> 01:40:32,000 ♪ As I make you stop, think ♪ 2572 01:40:32,000 --> 01:40:34,000 ♪ You'll think you're looking at Aquaman ♪ 2573 01:40:34,000 --> 01:40:35,000 ♪ I summon fish to the dish ♪ 2574 01:40:35,000 --> 01:40:37,000 ♪ I like the Chalet Swiss, I like the sushi ♪ 2575 01:40:37,000 --> 01:40:38,000 ♪ 'Cause it's never touched a frying pan ♪ 2576 01:40:48,000 --> 01:40:49,000 You don't like tea. 2577 01:41:12,000 --> 01:41:14,000 [Si] ♪ One week since you looked at me ♪ 2578 01:41:14,000 --> 01:41:15,000 ♪ Dropped your arms to your sides ♪ 2579 01:41:15,000 --> 01:41:17,000 ♪ And said I'm sorry ♪ 2580 01:41:17,000 --> 01:41:19,000 ♪ Five days since I laughed at you and said ♪ 2581 01:41:19,000 --> 01:41:20,000 ♪ You just did just what I thought you were gonna do ♪ 2582 01:41:20,000 --> 01:41:22,000 ♪ Three days since the living room ♪ 2583 01:41:22,000 --> 01:41:23,000 ♪ We realized we're both to blame ♪ 2584 01:41:23,000 --> 01:41:25,000 ♪ But what could we do? ♪ 2585 01:41:25,000 --> 01:41:27,000 ♪ Yesterday you just smiled at me ♪ 2586 01:41:27,000 --> 01:41:30,000 ♪ 'Cause it'll Still be two days 2587 01:41:31,000 --> 01:41:35,000 ♪ Still be two days till we say we're sorry ♪ 2588 01:41:35,000 --> 01:41:38,000 ♪ Still be two days till we say we're sorry ♪ 2589 01:41:41,000 --> 01:41:42,000 [Law & Order riff plays]