WEBVTT FILE

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Downloaded from
YTS.MX

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Official YIFY movies site:
YTS.MX

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♪ serene music playing ♪

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♪

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[beeping]

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- I'm not a chicken. You're a turkey.

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NARRATOR:
<i>This is your brain on drugs.</i>

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- You gotta say no.

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MORGAN FREEMAN VOICE:
<i>America, the not-so-distant future.</i>

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[siren wailing, people clamoring]

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<i>The economy is failing.</i>

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<i>A despondent society has turned</i>
<i>to self-medication.</i>

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<i>Road fatalities, crime,</i>

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<i>public disturbance, voice theft</i>

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<i>all at record highs.</i>

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- Just say no.

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FREEMAN VOICE:
<i>Something needed to be done.</i>

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<i>Congress bravely votes to establish</i>
<i>a modern day Prohibition.</i>

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<i>Zero tolerance policy was adopted.</i>

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<i>Overnight, the use, sale,</i>
<i>and manufacturing of all alcohol</i>

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<i>and narcotics of any kind became illegal.</i>

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[prison door clangs]

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[birds chirping]

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<i>Soon to emerge was</i>
<i>a better, sober America.</i>

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<i>Inebriation, once viewed</i>
<i>as socially appropriate,</i>

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<i>was now taboo,</i>

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<i>with just one exception.</i>

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<i>Once a year, the embargo is lifted.</i>

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<i>Narcotics once confiscated by police</i>
<i>are distributed to the highest bidder.</i>

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<i>For 12 hours every year,</i>

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<i>US citizens 18 and up are legally allowed</i>

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<i>to participate in bill A2904,</i>

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<i>known colloquially as simply</i>

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<i>"The Binge."</i>

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♪ The Real McKenzies' <i>Chip</i> playing ♪

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<i>God bless America.</i>

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<i>- ♪ Chip worked as a boatwright</i>
<i>as his father and his gran ♪</i>

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<i>♪ A-working in a boat yard</i>
<i>building on the River Thames ♪</i>

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FREEMAN VOICE:
<i>Studies show that providing this outlet</i>

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<i>to the populace just once a year</i>
<i>would combat their urge</i>

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<i>to indulge thereafter.</i>

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[grunts]

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<i>In fact only 23 percent of citizens</i>
<i>attempt a second binge.</i>

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<i>For a third, this number plummets</i>
<i>to just six percent.</i>

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<i>Psychologists predict this mechanism</i>
<i>may annihilate</i>

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<i>all clinical addiction by 2055.</i>

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<i>Whether or not you choose to participate</i>

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<i>or are merely an innocent bystander,</i>

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<i>no one is left unaffected by The Binge.</i>

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[keyboard clacking]

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[school bell rings]

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- Good morning, American High.

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[cheering and applause]

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Flaming Eagles, I can't hear you!

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[students cheering loudly]

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As I said Flaming Eagles,
I can't hear you!

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[cheering and applause continue]

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[cheering and applause stops]

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For you seniors that are 18,
in T minus nine hours,

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you will be able to participate
in your very first Binge!

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- We're gonna get so fucked tonight!

62
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- Hags, you really gotta calm down, man,
you're gonna pull something.

63
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- Guys, I only got two hobbies.
Only two things I really spend my time on.

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That's my woodworking, my elves,
and that's making hummus.

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And the other thing I do is protect
the reputation of American High.

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- My mom told me she used
to drink wine from a box

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on the way home from work in college.

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- Ugh! We were born, like, way too late.

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- I can't control what you do out there,

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but I can make a suggestion

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as a concerned citizen and a mentor

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and give you some pretty good reasons
why we don't want you to Binge.

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- We've been prepping for this night
our entire lives.

74
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- I would fucking murder anyone
who gets in our way.

75
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- Now unfortunately for those of you
that do decide to Binge tonight,

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all the regular laws,
well, those are still in place,

77
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and breaking those laws have consequences.

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- Yeah, consequences like you playing
penis Jenga with his daughter!

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- Will you be quiet?
Lena almost heard you say penis Jenga.

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- Oh, I'm sorry, Lena almost heard me
say penis Jenga!

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- Hi, Lena.

82
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- See, bro, you gotta get her attention!
- I know.

83
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- I'm working on it. You just--
You gotta let me do it my way, you know.

84
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- By writing a confusing sonnet?

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- It's not a sonnet,
it's a series of haikus,

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and I'm asking her to prom today.

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- Yeah, okay, you've been saying that
every day for the past five months.

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Well, tonight we Binge.

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I'm gonna get you drunk enough
to finally make your move.

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- Yeah, except there's no way
Lena's Binge-ing,

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and if Carlsen found out I binged,
that'll be it.

92
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He would never let me near Lena again.

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- You know, Amy Bagman thought
it was rite of passage.

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She binged.

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And then a couple of uppers and downers
and siders into it

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she found herself on a private jet
with 12 "Saudi princes."

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Never to be heard from again.

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- Oh shit!
CARLSEN: Now, is she alive today?

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Is she dead?
Is she even worse off than that?

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Even her family can't answer
that question.

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Sad.

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- That's really what you want?

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- To be on a private jet?
Abso-fucking-lutely!

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One day, you'll have no one.

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All you'll have left is the memories.

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So you gotta make your life matter.

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CARLSEN: Let me assure you, I will spend--

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- Nothing matters.

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CARLSEN: Then there was Allen Reed
who was excited

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about getting accepted into Stanford

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until he was caught doing
the Brazilian tuck

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outside a TJ MAXX.
[students laughing]

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Yeah, laugh it up. It's fun, right?

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Maybe your name's Kimberly Jones?
[students whistling]

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- Oh! There's my setup.

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- Please don't say "I'll have
what she's having." Don't say that.

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- I have to say it,
because it's hilarious.

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- It's not hilarious--

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- It is hilarious, brother.
We went over this, okay.

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Make everyone in the assembly laugh,

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then we win the Gauntlet tonight
at the Library Party.

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- You fellas need wristbands
for the Library Party tonight?

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- We got some.

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CARLSEN:
But the jet-ski was still attached
to the dock, and it never took off.

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[students laughing]

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And then eventually
it exploded into flames.

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[students gasp]

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Now, Kimberly Jones is here tonight.

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Can you guys guess which one she is?

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I'll give you a hint. You're cold, cold.

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Getting warmer, getting warmer, red hot.

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Burning hot. That's Kimberly Jones.

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Wrapped up like a mummy because
she's ashamed of the way she looks.

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She works here at the high school.

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She makes the butterscotch pudding,
and she does a wonderful job.

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We're proud of you, Kim.

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And she's never really
allowed up before lunch

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because again, she's disgusting
and revolting to look at,

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and it'll make your stomach churn
and make you unable to eat.

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And on that note,
please stop emailing me, Kim,

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about the Fantas in the mini-fridge.

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I'm gonna explode.
I've said it to you six times.

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I wanna treat you like a lady today,
in front of everybody.

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'Cause you are one.

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I'd like to see everyone here go on
and have a bright future

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and not end up...
like some of the people that we've seen

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in front of us here today.

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[clears throat]
- I'll have what she's having!

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[chuckles]

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GIRL: What?
[students murmuring]

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- You'll have what who's having?

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- Fucking dork.

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- You'll have what
this burn victim's having?

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Are you drawing attention
to the burn victim?

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Kimberly Jones, who was tweaking

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and got burned from her face to her feet?

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And how do you think it makes
a burn victim feel

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when you single 'em out
in front of everybody?

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Kim, how's it make you feel?

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Does it make you this?
Does it make you happy?

161
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Right? Or does it make you this?

162
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I feel sad too.

163
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I feel sad for Kim.

164
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Sit down. You got
30 minute detention on Tuesday.

165
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You're gonna learn some empathy.
I'm gonna have you read

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about circus freaks, deformed people,

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and people with the kind of burns
that she has, how repulsive it is,

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and how hard it is to live with it.
HAGS: [whispering] Oh my god.

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- You'll get 'em next time, buddy.
- Oh my god.

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- Any questions?

171
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Can I get a cawww!

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ALL STUDENTS: [unenthusiastic] Caw!

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- Can I get a cawww!

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STUDENTS: [louder] Cawww!

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- Let's go learn.

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- My uncle said his friend would do,
like, a handstand

177
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on a barrel of beer until he choked.

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- Yeah. It's called a keg stand.

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GIRL: What's a keg?
[boy sighs]

180
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- Man, did I misread the room.

181
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- Oh, I thought it was funny.

182
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- Thank you, Andrew,
but I don't need your sympathies.

183
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I was just rejected by my peers,
and I'm in a bit of a fragile state.

184
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- [whispering] I heard if you do Molly
and drink a Mountain Dew,

185
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you start to see the future,
but it doesn't even pertain to you at all.

186
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BOY: Really?
- Yeah.

187
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- My older cousin saw
some random dude in Wisconsin's future.

188
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- Other Man's Future Syndrome. Sick.

189
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- I don't know, man. I worked
really hard to get into Brown.

190
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- Man, fuck college! What is this,
the '90s? We have the internet.

191
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- Even if I wanted to go,
our parents will never let us

192
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skip out on their tradition.

193
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- Look, Griffin.
I love our parents, right. I do.

194
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But I'm not spending another Binge

195
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at "Soda-Pop Game Night"
doing the Root Beer Goat.

196
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I won't do it.

197
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- What are you wearing?
You look like my bubbe's couch.

198
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- Okay, see, you know nothing
about style, right.

199
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You don't. Which is why I took the liberty

200
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of getting you
your very first Gauntlet outfit.

201
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Here we go.

202
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Overalls, baby. Happy Binge, pal!

203
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GRIFFIN: FBF?
HAGS: Mm-hmm.

204
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First Binge forever!

205
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- Hags, I'm not Binge-ing, man.
I'm definitely not wearing overalls.

206
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Please take them back. Please.
- Okay, see, you are Binge-ing,

207
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and overalls are chick magnets, man.

208
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They say if you keep it tight up top,

209
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below the waist, it's anyone's guess.

210
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- Who says that?
Who says that about overalls?

211
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- I do. And Lena's gonna love 'em!

212
00:09:02.083 --> 00:09:04.167
- I heard if you eat mushrooms
and sacrifice an animal,

213
00:09:04.167 --> 00:09:06.125
your entire world turns into a musical.

214
00:09:07.792 --> 00:09:10.000
- There's no way that's true, Kathleen.

215
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- Is that how you wanna end up?

216
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PROTESTERS: Hey hey, ho ho--

217
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GRIFFIN: Hell yeah, man, we can beat that.

218
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When we win the Gauntlet tonight,
I want our names to be etched in stone.

219
00:09:18.083 --> 00:09:18.958
- Will you put that away?

220
00:09:18.958 --> 00:09:21.708
Principal Carlsen's gonna see it,
and there goes any shot I had with Lena.

221
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- Who gives a fuck, Griffin?

222
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You think he'd want some scared kiss-ass

223
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who volunteers to clean up shits
in the chem lab date his daughter?

224
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No! He wants a man!

225
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Come on now.
Gotta you show you the closer.

226
00:09:33.292 --> 00:09:33.958
- The closer?

227
00:09:33.958 --> 00:09:36.375
- So you know my senior shop project
I told you I was working on?

228
00:09:36.375 --> 00:09:38.375
- Yeah, man, the one you had
the GoFundMe for

229
00:09:38.375 --> 00:09:40.292
when you were building
the reusable hydration systems

230
00:09:40.292 --> 00:09:41.250
for third world countries.

231
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I was really proud of you for doing that.

232
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- Yeah, man, fuck hydration. I lied.
I put that money to much better use.

233
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- I donated $75.

234
00:09:47.500 --> 00:09:50.833
- Griffin, I give to you the most
important invention since the toilet,

235
00:09:50.833 --> 00:09:52.542
[tarp rustling]
The BoozeCycle!

236
00:09:53.250 --> 00:09:56.000
- Whoa, man. You built this?
- Yeah, man.

237
00:09:56.000 --> 00:09:57.792
- This is awesome.

238
00:09:57.792 --> 00:09:58.708
- Isn't it great?

239
00:09:58.708 --> 00:10:01.125
- Imagine if you put your mind
to something useful.

240
00:10:01.125 --> 00:10:03.792
- Useful? This is the most
useful thing I've ever done.

241
00:10:03.792 --> 00:10:06.083
Is it a car? Kind of.

242
00:10:06.083 --> 00:10:08.167
Is it a bicycle? Almost.

243
00:10:08.167 --> 00:10:09.792
Griffin, this thing fucks!

244
00:10:09.792 --> 00:10:11.583
- I mean, it does. It's really cool.

245
00:10:11.583 --> 00:10:14.667
It's just, how would we even pedal it
with two people? There's ten seats.

246
00:10:16.375 --> 00:10:18.333
- Hey, why you gotta be so negative, bro?

247
00:10:18.333 --> 00:10:21.792
<i>- And El Pantera, that's just a myth.</i>
<i>Like Santa Claus.</i>

248
00:10:21.792 --> 00:10:24.208
GRIFFIN: You know what <i>,</i> man. I'm sorry.
I don't mean to be a Debbie downer.

249
00:10:24.208 --> 00:10:27.542
I'm just-- I'm nervous, you know.
Aren't you scared? Like, at all?

250
00:10:27.542 --> 00:10:29.542
- Scared of what? Becoming a legend?

251
00:10:29.542 --> 00:10:31.625
- No, of just-- I don't know. Everything.

252
00:10:31.625 --> 00:10:33.958
Lena, Carlsen, alcohol poisoning,

253
00:10:33.958 --> 00:10:35.875
our lives turning into a musical.

254
00:10:35.875 --> 00:10:36.708
That sounds terrible.

255
00:10:36.708 --> 00:10:39.792
- Griffin, we'll be fine. I'll be
with you every step of the way.

256
00:10:39.792 --> 00:10:40.875
- That's what I'm scared about.

257
00:10:40.875 --> 00:10:42.708
- Ha ha. Oh, okay, you make jokes,

258
00:10:42.708 --> 00:10:44.292
but you don't realize that
I'm a human, with emotion,

259
00:10:44.292 --> 00:10:45.292
and it hurts my feelings.

260
00:10:45.292 --> 00:10:47.083
- I love you, okay. I really do.

261
00:10:47.083 --> 00:10:49.000
And I appreciate you
getting me a wristband

262
00:10:49.000 --> 00:10:51.208
and stealing from all those people
who desperately need clean water

263
00:10:51.208 --> 00:10:52.250
to build a BoozeCycle--

264
00:10:52.250 --> 00:10:53.292
- Which is awesome.
- It is,

265
00:10:53.292 --> 00:10:54.958
but I'm just gonna stick to tradition,

266
00:10:54.958 --> 00:10:57.625
do Root Beer Goat-Night with our parents,
and wake up tomorrow

267
00:10:57.625 --> 00:11:00.333
to continue my extended reign
as mayor of Virgin City.

268
00:11:00.333 --> 00:11:01.708
- Good to know, Mr. Mayor!

269
00:11:02.250 --> 00:11:03.958
- Lena! Hey.

270
00:11:03.958 --> 00:11:05.750
- Lena, please don't call him Mr. Mayor.

271
00:11:05.750 --> 00:11:07.083
Mr. Mayor is his father.

272
00:11:07.083 --> 00:11:09.667
I like to refer to my brother here
as <i>Babe: Pig In The City.</i>

273
00:11:09.667 --> 00:11:11.833
- Hmm.
- Because he's got
the thickest hog in the game.

274
00:11:11.833 --> 00:11:12.375
- That's not--

275
00:11:12.375 --> 00:11:14.375
- I've never once heard anyone
refer to him as Babe,

276
00:11:14.375 --> 00:11:15.875
and I've known him since preschool.

277
00:11:15.875 --> 00:11:18.000
- That's 'cause they whisper it to him.
- They don't do that.

278
00:11:18.000 --> 00:11:18.833
They don't whisper anything.

279
00:11:18.833 --> 00:11:22.083
- So, you whisper "Babe"
into Griffin's ear

280
00:11:22.083 --> 00:11:24.083
because he has
the thickest hog in the game?

281
00:11:26.500 --> 00:11:29.250
- Okay, Lena. This is weird now.
Right? So I'm gonna go.

282
00:11:30.333 --> 00:11:32.708
Lena. Babe.

283
00:11:35.750 --> 00:11:37.000
- I have a normal-sized hog,

284
00:11:37.375 --> 00:11:39.500
probably no different than the next one.

285
00:11:39.500 --> 00:11:41.000
Not that I've seen,

286
00:11:41.000 --> 00:11:45.417
uh, but naturally you do find yourself
in positions where you see other hogs

287
00:11:45.417 --> 00:11:47.625
and in those situations, I found that...

288
00:11:48.208 --> 00:11:49.333
my hog is...

289
00:11:50.250 --> 00:11:52.042
comparable, if not the same

290
00:11:52.583 --> 00:11:53.875
in thickness to those--

291
00:11:54.250 --> 00:11:55.500
- That's good to know.

292
00:11:56.417 --> 00:11:59.708
Um... so are you gonna Binge?

293
00:12:00.417 --> 00:12:02.042
- After your dad's speech?

294
00:12:02.042 --> 00:12:04.333
You'd have to be a certified dip-shit
to go out tonight.

295
00:12:04.333 --> 00:12:06.542
- Well, I guess I'm the mayor
of Dip-Shit City

296
00:12:06.542 --> 00:12:08.708
'cause I'm seriously thinking about it.

297
00:12:09.333 --> 00:12:10.375
- Me too, by the way.

298
00:12:10.375 --> 00:12:13.417
I was completely joking before
about the dip-shit thing. That's--

299
00:12:14.083 --> 00:12:15.167
But, um...

300
00:12:17.125 --> 00:12:19.000
- Griff, is everything okay?

301
00:12:19.000 --> 00:12:20.375
- It is. Uh--

302
00:12:23.208 --> 00:12:25.375
You know how our moms used
to go to Zumba class together?

303
00:12:25.375 --> 00:12:28.958
- Yeah! Yeah, we used to play
fake house in the kid's room.

304
00:12:28.958 --> 00:12:32.500
To this day, no one makes
fake French toast as good as you.

305
00:12:32.500 --> 00:12:35.792
- And no one did our fake taxes for
our fake mortgage better than you, so--

306
00:12:35.792 --> 00:12:37.000
- And now we're fake home owners!

307
00:12:37.333 --> 00:12:39.292
- That fake debt collector
won't stop hounding me!

308
00:12:39.292 --> 00:12:41.458
[laughing]

309
00:12:41.458 --> 00:12:44.167
Um, anyways, I was just thinking how

310
00:12:44.167 --> 00:12:45.417
we've always been in each other's lives.

311
00:12:45.417 --> 00:12:47.750
- Yeah.
- And, um,

312
00:12:47.750 --> 00:12:48.750
Lena, I was wondering if--

313
00:12:48.750 --> 00:12:49.875
[Lena shrieks]

314
00:12:49.875 --> 00:12:50.792
- Oh my god!

315
00:12:50.792 --> 00:12:52.333
What is this?

316
00:12:52.333 --> 00:12:54.708
"This promposal you can't ignore,

317
00:12:54.708 --> 00:12:56.083
"because there's still so much more.

318
00:12:56.083 --> 00:12:57.875
"Let's laugh and be merry,
because the next clue you'll find

319
00:12:57.875 --> 00:12:58.917
"at the Carnegie Library!

320
00:12:58.917 --> 00:13:01.250
Here's hoping you will attend,
and while you're at it, bring a friend!"

321
00:13:01.250 --> 00:13:02.292
Holy shit!

322
00:13:02.875 --> 00:13:05.667
Griffin, did you do this?

323
00:13:06.208 --> 00:13:07.083
- Um--

324
00:13:08.417 --> 00:13:09.792
- Are you kidding me? Oh my god!

325
00:13:09.792 --> 00:13:11.250
When did this happen
and why didn't you tell me?

326
00:13:11.250 --> 00:13:14.250
- No, no, no, it is happening right now.
You are witnessing it.

327
00:13:14.250 --> 00:13:15.625
- This is awesome.
- Who do you think did it?

328
00:13:15.625 --> 00:13:18.042
- I don't know! Um, Max Keiser?

329
00:13:18.042 --> 00:13:19.417
- Maybe it was Ian Greenstein?

330
00:13:19.417 --> 00:13:20.875
- Ian Greenstein? Yeah, he--

331
00:13:20.875 --> 00:13:22.708
He liked your tweet 18 months ago
like a total creep.

332
00:13:22.708 --> 00:13:24.167
I bet it's Ian Greenstein.
- So many guys!

333
00:13:24.167 --> 00:13:25.542
- I know!
- Exciting.

334
00:13:25.917 --> 00:13:28.792
- Holy shit! This is huge. They sold out
for this, like, six months ago.

335
00:13:28.792 --> 00:13:31.875
- Griffin, would you be
the ultimate friend and take a pic?

336
00:13:31.875 --> 00:13:32.833
- Totally.
- Thank you!

337
00:13:32.833 --> 00:13:34.208
- Yeah, I can do that.
- Thank you!

338
00:13:35.250 --> 00:13:36.875
- Say "Ian Greenstein.'

339
00:13:36.875 --> 00:13:38.542
BOTH: Ian Greenstein!

340
00:13:38.542 --> 00:13:39.792
- You guys are gonna really like that.

341
00:13:39.792 --> 00:13:41.125
- Thank you so much.
- Of course.

342
00:13:42.583 --> 00:13:44.708
So that's-- So--
LENA: Okay, bye, Griffin.

343
00:13:45.375 --> 00:13:46.667
BECKY: Who do you think did this?

344
00:13:47.375 --> 00:13:49.417
[girls giggling]

345
00:13:52.500 --> 00:13:54.292
SARAH: The package
is basically fully stocked

346
00:13:54.292 --> 00:13:56.875
with, like, colorful frozen drinks
and tiny umbrellas.

347
00:13:56.875 --> 00:13:58.583
- I fucking love tiny umbrellas.

348
00:13:58.583 --> 00:14:00.333
Do you think pink drinks, too, because

349
00:14:00.333 --> 00:14:03.000
[blowing trombone]
my grandmother's seen this show,
it's called <i>Sex and the City,</i>

350
00:14:03.000 --> 00:14:06.417
and they would just drink pink alcohol
and have meaningless sex

351
00:14:06.417 --> 00:14:08.833
with strangers of foreign descent.

352
00:14:08.833 --> 00:14:10.833
- I would do disgusting things
to a foreign guy tonight.

353
00:14:10.833 --> 00:14:12.500
- Hmm.
- I'm talking full spit roast.

354
00:14:12.875 --> 00:14:13.792
[clattering]

355
00:14:13.792 --> 00:14:15.958
[students shouting]

356
00:14:15.958 --> 00:14:17.167
HAGS: Oh my god, I'm so sorry.

357
00:14:17.167 --> 00:14:18.792
- Hags, what the hell is wrong with you?

358
00:14:18.792 --> 00:14:22.625
- I'm so sorry, I just dropped my passport
somewhere around here earlier today.

359
00:14:22.625 --> 00:14:25.167
I'm just trying to get right back
to the motherland right after I graduate.

360
00:14:26.542 --> 00:14:27.583
BOTH: What?

361
00:14:28.417 --> 00:14:29.375
- Oh, my homeland.

362
00:14:29.375 --> 00:14:30.958
You know I'm
a hundred percent foreign, right?

363
00:14:30.958 --> 00:14:32.000
Like, from another place.

364
00:14:32.917 --> 00:14:37.125
Ha ha. Anyhoo, will I be seeing
you ladies at the Library Party tonight?

365
00:14:37.125 --> 00:14:38.917
- You're going to the Library Party?

366
00:14:38.917 --> 00:14:40.792
- Hell yeah I'm going
to the Library Party.

367
00:14:40.792 --> 00:14:42.958
And I'm hoping that you'll check me out.

368
00:14:43.333 --> 00:14:44.917
- For what purpose?
- Excuse me.

369
00:14:44.917 --> 00:14:46.708
- Uh, isn't that a saying?

370
00:14:47.083 --> 00:14:49.292
- No, it's not.
Words have consequences, Hags.

371
00:14:49.958 --> 00:14:52.042
- Okay, that's what it is.
It's the language barrier thing.

372
00:14:52.042 --> 00:14:53.583
That's what... that's what it was.

373
00:14:53.583 --> 00:14:56.292
Because I'm from another place.
I'm fully foreign.

374
00:14:57.208 --> 00:14:58.708
- Have you ever even been on a plane?

375
00:14:58.708 --> 00:15:00.583
- Hell yeah I've been on a plane.

376
00:15:00.583 --> 00:15:02.000
Ha ha. Of course.

377
00:15:02.500 --> 00:15:04.833
I'm actually a current cardholder
of the mile high club.

378
00:15:04.833 --> 00:15:06.500
- Oh yeah?
- And the big dick club.

379
00:15:07.083 --> 00:15:08.500
- [gasps] Really?
HAGS: Mm-hmm.

380
00:15:08.500 --> 00:15:09.958
- Well, why don't you whip it out
and show us?

381
00:15:09.958 --> 00:15:11.833
- Mmm. You see, I would,

382
00:15:12.833 --> 00:15:15.083
but they keep the band room real cold.

383
00:15:15.083 --> 00:15:17.292
It's not really a accurate depiction
of my genitalia.

384
00:15:17.292 --> 00:15:18.042
BOTH: Hmm.

385
00:15:18.042 --> 00:15:18.917
- That's what I thought.

386
00:15:18.917 --> 00:15:20.083
Virgin.

387
00:15:20.083 --> 00:15:21.833
This is dry.
- Okay.

388
00:15:23.917 --> 00:15:25.208
CARLSEN: Chad, how are we?

389
00:15:25.625 --> 00:15:27.333
Kurt, how come I never see you
with your shorts off?

390
00:15:27.333 --> 00:15:28.750
Seem a little locker room shy.
- KURT: S-- Sir--

391
00:15:28.750 --> 00:15:30.083
- Wanna see how a man walks around
the locker room?

392
00:15:30.083 --> 00:15:31.500
KURT: Um--
- Wanna take a look at it?

393
00:15:31.500 --> 00:15:33.833
I'll pull my pants down, I'll go take
a shit, I'll get in the shower.

394
00:15:33.833 --> 00:15:34.583
You wanna watch it?

395
00:15:34.583 --> 00:15:37.333
Whatever it is, get comfortable with it.
It ain't going away.

396
00:15:37.333 --> 00:15:39.125
Let's get behind those ears,
okay, Bennett?

397
00:15:39.125 --> 00:15:40.792
BENNETT: Yes, sir.
- That's where the germs live
and they reproduce.

398
00:15:40.792 --> 00:15:41.917
BENNETT: Got it.
- Don't be a pussy.

399
00:15:42.250 --> 00:15:43.917
Chin up. Griffin, my man, how are you?

400
00:15:43.917 --> 00:15:44.958
- How's it going, Principal Carlsen?

401
00:15:44.958 --> 00:15:47.667
- Well, I'm always a little bit on edge
when it comes to Binge night,

402
00:15:47.667 --> 00:15:49.625
people get pushed to their moral limits.
- Me too.

403
00:15:49.625 --> 00:15:51.375
I, I can't believe people Binge.

404
00:15:51.833 --> 00:15:53.250
- One shake and you're done, Tommy!

405
00:15:53.250 --> 00:15:54.875
No one wants to watch
your dickplay in here.

406
00:15:54.875 --> 00:15:57.667
At your age, you're a hair-trigger.
You're liable to blow all over the place.

407
00:15:57.667 --> 00:15:59.958
Have a story about you for the rest
of your life. You want that?

408
00:16:01.000 --> 00:16:02.125
Put the dick down.

409
00:16:02.125 --> 00:16:03.042
TOMMY: Okay.

410
00:16:03.042 --> 00:16:05.875
- You know, Griffin, uh, Lena says
some really nice things about you.

411
00:16:06.542 --> 00:16:07.125
- She does?

412
00:16:07.125 --> 00:16:09.250
- Yeah. She says that you're nice,
that you work hard,

413
00:16:09.250 --> 00:16:11.667
that you have
pretty terrific table manners.

414
00:16:12.083 --> 00:16:13.667
You know, I'll tell you, Griff,

415
00:16:14.125 --> 00:16:17.583
I'm pretty okay
with... my daughter being friends

416
00:16:17.583 --> 00:16:19.417
with a nice Brown man.

417
00:16:21.333 --> 00:16:22.792
Let me walk that back just a little bit.

418
00:16:23.167 --> 00:16:25.792
That's not the kind of quote
that you want taken out of context.

419
00:16:27.667 --> 00:16:30.292
Congratulations on getting into
a great university, Brown.

420
00:16:30.292 --> 00:16:32.958
- Thank you, sir. And thank you again
for making that call to Dean Eckhouse.

421
00:16:32.958 --> 00:16:34.000
It really made all the difference.

422
00:16:34.000 --> 00:16:36.417
- Well, Griff, you know,
when you have a history of

423
00:16:36.417 --> 00:16:38.458
recommending
outstanding guys, like yourself,

424
00:16:38.458 --> 00:16:40.042
they tend to listen to you.

425
00:16:40.292 --> 00:16:42.875
And by the same token, if you ask them
to rescind someone they're thinking about,

426
00:16:42.875 --> 00:16:45.000
they go ahead and they listen loud
and clear on that as well.

427
00:16:47.250 --> 00:16:49.542
Since we're talking
about scratching each other's backs,

428
00:16:49.542 --> 00:16:51.542
I have just the smallest little itch

429
00:16:51.542 --> 00:16:53.500
I was wondering if you could get
your fingernails on.

430
00:16:53.500 --> 00:16:56.625
It's called where the fuck
is the party tonight?

431
00:16:56.625 --> 00:17:00.875
Sarah Martin's "Dank-Ass Pre-Game"
is already on my radar.

432
00:17:00.875 --> 00:17:03.375
I understand they're thinking
of smoking a little bit of pot.

433
00:17:03.375 --> 00:17:05.625
Maybe some Lean? A little Purple Drank.

434
00:17:05.625 --> 00:17:07.375
You know what I'm talking about?
- Oh, I do, but I wouldn't.

435
00:17:07.375 --> 00:17:10.375
I personally wouldn't sniff glue
or drink Purple Drank

436
00:17:10.375 --> 00:17:12.042
or just associate
with Sarah Martin at all.

437
00:17:12.042 --> 00:17:12.792
- Well, that's good.

438
00:17:12.792 --> 00:17:14.208
That bitch has chaotic energy.

439
00:17:14.208 --> 00:17:15.792
She's like a scorpion in a toaster.

440
00:17:18.417 --> 00:17:20.417
Anyway, the point is
if you hear of anything--

441
00:17:20.417 --> 00:17:21.292
- Of course.

442
00:17:21.875 --> 00:17:23.000
- Fair?
- Totally fair.

443
00:17:23.792 --> 00:17:25.875
- Fair?
- Fair. Very fair.

444
00:17:25.875 --> 00:17:26.750
[wristband clicks]

445
00:17:27.125 --> 00:17:28.208
- The hell is--

446
00:17:32.542 --> 00:17:35.000
- Principal Carlsen, I-- Um--

447
00:17:35.500 --> 00:17:38.083
[clears throat]
It's a funny story, I-- Uh--

448
00:17:38.083 --> 00:17:40.375
[clears throat] I--
- Oh.

449
00:17:41.333 --> 00:17:44.917
Oh. Actually, Principal Carlsen,
that's not Griffin's.

450
00:17:44.917 --> 00:17:46.333
No, see, I found that in the hallway,

451
00:17:46.333 --> 00:17:48.500
and I gave it to Griffin
to hold onto it for me.

452
00:17:48.500 --> 00:17:50.417
Yeah, I just had no idea what it was.

453
00:17:50.417 --> 00:17:53.000
Could it be tickets
to a renaissance fair or...

454
00:17:53.667 --> 00:17:54.625
a petting zoo.

455
00:17:56.750 --> 00:17:57.833
GRIFFIN: Yeah.

456
00:17:57.833 --> 00:17:59.167
- You gentlemen be safe tonight.

457
00:17:59.167 --> 00:17:59.917
- Yes, sir.

458
00:18:00.333 --> 00:18:01.542
- And Hags, do me a favor.

459
00:18:02.458 --> 00:18:04.708
Try to find a nickname
that's a little bit more normal.

460
00:18:04.708 --> 00:18:06.375
Something like Lucas or Quan.

461
00:18:07.750 --> 00:18:09.167
I'll see you Tuesday? Thirty minutes?

462
00:18:09.167 --> 00:18:11.125
Thank you, Quan. Griff.

463
00:18:13.542 --> 00:18:15.208
David, thank your brother
for the meatloaf.

464
00:18:15.208 --> 00:18:15.833
DAVID: Yes, sir.

465
00:18:16.583 --> 00:18:17.917
- Whoa, thank Christ.

466
00:18:17.917 --> 00:18:18.792
CARLSEN: Oh, Griffin?
- Yup.

467
00:18:18.792 --> 00:18:21.000
- You know, there's a prank turd
in the chemistry lab.

468
00:18:21.000 --> 00:18:23.583
I was wondering if you could be an angel,
sweep in and scoop that up.

469
00:18:23.583 --> 00:18:24.583
- I would love to do that.

470
00:18:25.500 --> 00:18:26.417
- Thank you, Quan.

471
00:18:29.417 --> 00:18:31.458
[door opens, closes]

472
00:18:32.125 --> 00:18:34.417
- Fuck! Quan?

473
00:18:34.417 --> 00:18:35.875
Who the fuck is Quan?

474
00:18:35.875 --> 00:18:38.042
[school bell rings]

475
00:18:38.042 --> 00:18:40.917
FREEMAN VOICE: <i>And so it begins.</i>
[students chattering excitedly]

476
00:18:40.917 --> 00:18:44.042
<i>As school lets out, sirens pierce the air,</i>
[siren wailing]

477
00:18:44.042 --> 00:18:48.000
<i>informing the civilian population</i>
<i>of what's to come.</i>

478
00:18:48.000 --> 00:18:50.417
<i>For some, a warning.</i>

479
00:18:50.417 --> 00:18:53.042
<i>To those not participating, to get home,</i>

480
00:18:53.042 --> 00:18:56.208
<i>bunker down, and pray for safety.</i>

481
00:18:56.583 --> 00:18:59.583
<i>For others, it's the sound of celebration,</i>

482
00:18:59.583 --> 00:19:01.667
<i>excess, freedom.</i>

483
00:19:02.708 --> 00:19:05.542
<i>Underground competitions</i>
<i>known as Gauntlets</i>

484
00:19:05.542 --> 00:19:07.375
<i>capture the nation's attention.</i>

485
00:19:07.833 --> 00:19:10.958
<i>Creating local legends in those who win</i>

486
00:19:10.958 --> 00:19:14.417
<i>and lasting memories for all who compete.</i>

487
00:19:14.417 --> 00:19:16.583
ALL: Ten, nine

488
00:19:16.583 --> 00:19:18.917
eight, seven, six,

489
00:19:18.917 --> 00:19:21.167
five, four,

490
00:19:21.167 --> 00:19:23.875
three, two, one!

491
00:19:23.875 --> 00:19:26.208
- Yahtzee!
[laughter]

492
00:19:26.208 --> 00:19:27.208
Whoo!

493
00:19:27.708 --> 00:19:28.667
Yeah.

494
00:19:28.667 --> 00:19:31.875
- Oh. To our sixth Binge Night Game Night!

495
00:19:31.875 --> 00:19:33.375
- Yep.
- What a great tradition!

496
00:19:33.375 --> 00:19:34.375
- This is fun.

497
00:19:34.375 --> 00:19:36.667
- It's just great being able to hang
with family on the night

498
00:19:36.667 --> 00:19:38.583
when nobody else is doing
anything awesome.

499
00:19:38.583 --> 00:19:42.000
- Oh, and we are just grateful
that you boys would rather--

500
00:19:42.000 --> 00:19:44.292
- Uh... men!
CHESTER: Excuse me.

501
00:19:44.292 --> 00:19:46.125
That you <i>men</i>

502
00:19:46.125 --> 00:19:50.292
would still rather pal around
with us middle <i>-</i> aged fogies

503
00:19:50.292 --> 00:19:53.167
than go out drinking with all
the other high school boys and girls.

504
00:19:53.167 --> 00:19:55.292
- Yeah, well, makes me hopeful
for the future.

505
00:19:55.292 --> 00:19:57.458
- Yep.
- Well, who's ready for round two?

506
00:19:58.042 --> 00:19:58.917
- Yeah.

507
00:19:58.917 --> 00:19:59.875
- We don't have to do
the thing again, Dad.

508
00:19:59.875 --> 00:20:00.917
We don't--
CHESTER: Oh no, let's do it.

509
00:20:00.917 --> 00:20:02.583
Root beer goat!
- Ha ha!

510
00:20:02.583 --> 00:20:04.458
[all bleating]

511
00:20:06.458 --> 00:20:08.125
- Ah, somebody didn't goat.

512
00:20:08.125 --> 00:20:08.583
[gasps]

513
00:20:08.583 --> 00:20:09.958
- Well, everybody goated so I--

514
00:20:09.958 --> 00:20:11.542
- Come on, son, you do the best goat.

515
00:20:11.542 --> 00:20:12.625
- I do a very normal goat.
- No, you--

516
00:20:12.625 --> 00:20:14.125
- Come on, give us a goat!

517
00:20:14.125 --> 00:20:15.792
Give us a goat!
- You're so good.

518
00:20:15.792 --> 00:20:17.333
[high-pitched bleating]

519
00:20:17.333 --> 00:20:18.792
[laughter]
STACY: You got it.

520
00:20:18.792 --> 00:20:19.958
- This is what I'm talking about.

521
00:20:19.958 --> 00:20:21.417
- That's a damn good goat!

522
00:20:22.250 --> 00:20:25.083
So, Griffin, I heard you're going to prom
with the Principal's daughter?

523
00:20:25.083 --> 00:20:26.042
GRIFFIN: Oh.
PAUL: Prom.

524
00:20:26.042 --> 00:20:28.708
- Yeah, I, I was,
but somebody else already asked.

525
00:20:28.708 --> 00:20:29.875
[sympathetic groans]

526
00:20:29.875 --> 00:20:31.292
- That's too bad.
KARYN: I'm so sorry.

527
00:20:31.292 --> 00:20:32.458
- Oh, it's okay, Ma.

528
00:20:32.458 --> 00:20:34.292
Most, most people
probably don't even remember

529
00:20:34.292 --> 00:20:35.250
who they went to prom with.

530
00:20:35.250 --> 00:20:36.083
- Exactly.

531
00:20:36.083 --> 00:20:37.708
- Unh-unh, you're looking at him.

532
00:20:38.792 --> 00:20:42.250
He was so nervous when he asked me.

533
00:20:42.250 --> 00:20:44.583
He had written a little poem out
and everything.

534
00:20:44.583 --> 00:20:46.167
He didn't even end up reading it.

535
00:20:47.042 --> 00:20:48.917
- Well, for what it's worth,
I always thought

536
00:20:48.917 --> 00:20:50.792
you and Lena made an adorable couple.

537
00:20:51.250 --> 00:20:53.000
Do you want me to call her father?
- That's okay, Dad.

538
00:20:53.000 --> 00:20:54.625
- No, no, no, I'm not afraid to call him.
- I am.

539
00:20:54.625 --> 00:20:55.958
You don't have to do that.
- No, you shouldn't be.

540
00:20:55.958 --> 00:20:57.000
- I don't think you should do that.

541
00:20:57.000 --> 00:20:58.292
CHESTER: Okay. Okay.
GRIFFIN: I appreciate that.

542
00:20:58.833 --> 00:21:01.750
- Hey, everybody. What's happening here?

543
00:21:01.750 --> 00:21:02.792
Too early to fall asleep.

544
00:21:02.792 --> 00:21:05.500
I bought <i>Big Bang Theory</i> Clue.

545
00:21:05.500 --> 00:21:06.792
<i>- Big Bang.</i>
CHESTER: Mm-hmm.

546
00:21:06.792 --> 00:21:07.417
Let me get this straight,

547
00:21:07.417 --> 00:21:09.750
Sheldon... kills--

548
00:21:09.750 --> 00:21:11.292
- Penny.
CHESTER: Penny.

549
00:21:11.667 --> 00:21:13.792
In the library?

550
00:21:13.792 --> 00:21:14.583
- No.
- The lab.

551
00:21:14.583 --> 00:21:15.500
- The lab.

552
00:21:16.208 --> 00:21:19.083
With a... Galaxy 6, 6S

553
00:21:19.083 --> 00:21:19.833
- Galaxy--

554
00:21:19.833 --> 00:21:22.000
- Eh, 6, Salaxy 6--

555
00:21:24.042 --> 00:21:26.000
[snoring]

556
00:21:26.000 --> 00:21:26.958
- Bazinga.

557
00:21:28.333 --> 00:21:29.417
- Mom. Mom?

558
00:21:29.917 --> 00:21:30.583
Dad?

559
00:21:30.583 --> 00:21:32.167
Dad? Dad? Paul?

560
00:21:32.167 --> 00:21:32.917
[Paul snoring]
GRIFFIN: Stacy?

561
00:21:32.917 --> 00:21:34.750
HAGS: Come on, Griffin,
let's get the hell out of here!

562
00:21:34.750 --> 00:21:35.917
- What the-- Wait, what the hell is this?

563
00:21:36.292 --> 00:21:37.625
Hags, did you do something?

564
00:21:37.625 --> 00:21:40.125
- No! I just gave them
a couple sleeping pills.

565
00:21:40.125 --> 00:21:41.667
- You roofied our parents?

566
00:21:41.667 --> 00:21:44.750
- I did not roofie our parents.
The pills were in their medicine cabinet.

567
00:21:44.750 --> 00:21:45.917
- This is crazy!
- Griffin!

568
00:21:45.917 --> 00:21:48.042
Your parents are spooning.
My dad is snoring.

569
00:21:48.042 --> 00:21:49.292
Mom's asleep. Let's go!
- No!

570
00:21:49.292 --> 00:21:50.917
Tha-- I'm not going. I'm not leaving.

571
00:21:50.917 --> 00:21:53.042
You have a wristband, that's it, okay.

572
00:21:53.042 --> 00:21:54.042
You go without me.

573
00:21:54.708 --> 00:21:55.500
- Go without you?

574
00:21:55.917 --> 00:21:57.917
- Lena's gonna meet
her promposal mate there anyway.

575
00:21:57.917 --> 00:21:59.500
I don't want to witness that.

576
00:22:00.375 --> 00:22:03.083
- Griffin, I was lying
when I said I wasn't scared.

577
00:22:03.083 --> 00:22:04.042
I <i>am</i> scared.

578
00:22:04.375 --> 00:22:06.792
But I'm not scared about
what's gonna happen tonight.

579
00:22:06.792 --> 00:22:08.500
I'm scared about
what's gonna happen after tonight.

580
00:22:09.417 --> 00:22:10.625
You're going to Brown.

581
00:22:10.958 --> 00:22:13.542
And I'm gonna be stuck here
working at Chuck E. Cheese.

582
00:22:13.542 --> 00:22:14.958
And that's life, Griff.

583
00:22:15.375 --> 00:22:19.625
Look, you go and you beat that
Dr. Seuss promposal asshole to the punch.

584
00:22:19.625 --> 00:22:21.042
You look Lena in the eyes and tell her

585
00:22:21.042 --> 00:22:23.417
exactly what you've wanted
to tell her your entire life.

586
00:22:23.917 --> 00:22:26.125
Tonight we become legends, Griffin.

587
00:22:26.125 --> 00:22:28.500
We go to that party
and we win that Gauntlet.

588
00:22:29.125 --> 00:22:32.083
This is our last chance
to make a great memory.

589
00:22:34.083 --> 00:22:35.833
- Wow! That was really good.

590
00:22:36.250 --> 00:22:37.583
That was good.
- Thanks.

591
00:22:37.583 --> 00:22:38.750
- Did you practice that?

592
00:22:38.750 --> 00:22:40.708
- A couple of times. Yeah.

593
00:22:44.708 --> 00:22:45.875
- Ughhh!

594
00:22:45.875 --> 00:22:47.708
- I know that groan!

595
00:22:47.708 --> 00:22:49.500
- Ah, I still don't have a wristband.

596
00:22:50.417 --> 00:22:52.458
What is that? Hags, why are you winking?

597
00:22:52.875 --> 00:22:54.125
GRIFFIN: Man,
I just don't know about this.

598
00:22:54.125 --> 00:22:56.375
I haven't been over to Andrew's house
since, like, the second grade

599
00:22:56.375 --> 00:22:58.000
when his mom did that thing
with the mousetrap.

600
00:22:58.000 --> 00:23:00.083
- Who cares? He said
he has extra wristbands.

601
00:23:00.083 --> 00:23:02.125
You need a wristband. Ring the bell.

602
00:23:02.792 --> 00:23:04.958
[doorbell ringing]

603
00:23:04.958 --> 00:23:05.917
GRIFFIN: Should we call him?

604
00:23:05.917 --> 00:23:07.292
HAGS: He don't believe in phones.

605
00:23:08.292 --> 00:23:10.792
[door creaking]

606
00:23:10.792 --> 00:23:11.667
- Hello?

607
00:23:12.500 --> 00:23:14.000
- Hello?
- Hello, hello.

608
00:23:14.750 --> 00:23:16.042
- Hello? Andrew?

609
00:23:17.125 --> 00:23:18.167
Hello?

610
00:23:22.333 --> 00:23:23.833
Hi, Mrs. Hellmuth?

611
00:23:23.833 --> 00:23:25.000
- What do you want?

612
00:23:25.375 --> 00:23:28.000
- Uh, sorry for barging
in your home like this.

613
00:23:28.000 --> 00:23:29.125
Is Andrew here?

614
00:23:30.375 --> 00:23:31.250
- Andrew?

615
00:23:32.083 --> 00:23:33.208
My, uh--

616
00:23:33.208 --> 00:23:34.542
- Your--
- Your son.

617
00:23:35.000 --> 00:23:36.958
- Yeah. Son.

618
00:23:37.917 --> 00:23:39.208
You're looking for him?

619
00:23:39.208 --> 00:23:41.292
- Uh, yes, ma'am.
It's kind of an emergency.

620
00:23:43.750 --> 00:23:44.875
- You guys cops?

621
00:23:45.417 --> 00:23:46.583
- No.
- No.

622
00:23:46.583 --> 00:23:48.542
GRIFFIN: We're just--
We're in high school.

623
00:23:49.625 --> 00:23:51.042
- Griffin? Hags?

624
00:23:51.042 --> 00:23:52.792
HAGS: Andrew!
ANDREW: Holy shi--

625
00:23:52.792 --> 00:23:54.708
Uh, it's okay, Mom. These are my friends.

626
00:23:54.708 --> 00:23:56.125
- Your friends? Yeah, right.

627
00:23:56.125 --> 00:23:58.083
- I have friends, Mom!
Why don't you believe me?

628
00:23:58.083 --> 00:23:59.958
- Why don't I believe
that you have friends?

629
00:23:59.958 --> 00:24:02.750
Probably because your tendency
towards violence

630
00:24:02.750 --> 00:24:04.833
caused us to be banned
from the fucking church.

631
00:24:04.833 --> 00:24:07.375
- You didn't give me
my calming pills! That's why.

632
00:24:07.375 --> 00:24:11.500
- I canceled our family trip to Reno
to pay for your freaking calming pills!

633
00:24:11.500 --> 00:24:12.750
Why do you think your father left?

634
00:24:12.750 --> 00:24:14.667
ANDREW: You said my dad left
to pursue his dreams.

635
00:24:14.667 --> 00:24:17.000
- His only dream was to leave this house.

636
00:24:17.000 --> 00:24:18.417
Happy Binge!

637
00:24:19.208 --> 00:24:21.167
- Fuck you, Mom!

638
00:24:21.167 --> 00:24:24.958
I'll bury you behind a Jiffy Lube.
And my friends are gonna help me!

639
00:24:24.958 --> 00:24:26.667
- We will not be doing that.
- We're not, we're not gonna do that.

640
00:24:26.667 --> 00:24:27.750
- I mean, I don't even know him now.

641
00:24:27.750 --> 00:24:31.083
- You think I'm afraid
of a couple of <i>puto</i> cops?

642
00:24:31.083 --> 00:24:34.375
I spent 18 years in a Bangkok prison

643
00:24:34.375 --> 00:24:36.875
hanging upside down from my labia.

644
00:24:36.875 --> 00:24:38.833
Two of those years,
I was pregnant with you.

645
00:24:38.833 --> 00:24:42.083
- That's not even true, Mom.
Who are you trying to impress?

646
00:24:42.083 --> 00:24:44.500
- Take these two guys up to my room

647
00:24:44.500 --> 00:24:46.958
and show them the Chai Ming Fist Bump.

648
00:24:46.958 --> 00:24:48.000
BOTH:
I don't wanna see that.

649
00:24:48.000 --> 00:24:49.417
- What the fuck does that even mean, Mom?

650
00:24:49.417 --> 00:24:53.000
- I'll burn that tongue if you ever speak
to me that way again.

651
00:24:53.000 --> 00:24:53.750
- Do it!

652
00:24:54.125 --> 00:24:54.667
[flesh sizzling]

653
00:24:54.667 --> 00:24:57.042
[both screaming]

654
00:24:59.542 --> 00:25:00.708
DEIDRE: Dinner's in ten.

655
00:25:00.708 --> 00:25:03.250
I love you!
- I love you, too!

656
00:25:03.250 --> 00:25:04.083
- Give Mommy a kiss.

657
00:25:10.625 --> 00:25:11.708
- [lisping]
I'm so sorry about that, guys.

658
00:25:11.708 --> 00:25:13.958
- My mom, she just loves
showing off in front of my friends.

659
00:25:13.958 --> 00:25:14.792
[laughing]

660
00:25:14.792 --> 00:25:16.458
- Listen, Andrew,
we're in a bit of a rush.

661
00:25:16.458 --> 00:25:18.833
Uh, we just wanted to know
how much we would have to pay you

662
00:25:18.833 --> 00:25:20.250
for those wristbands
you said you can get us?

663
00:25:20.250 --> 00:25:23.000
- Well, currency is an illusion
influenced by a false reality.

664
00:25:23.458 --> 00:25:25.083
I live my life on a bartering system.

665
00:25:25.083 --> 00:25:26.458
- Okay, we can work with that.
- Oh.

666
00:25:26.458 --> 00:25:27.417
- So what do you want?

667
00:25:28.375 --> 00:25:29.708
- To be your wingman tonight.

668
00:25:29.708 --> 00:25:31.500
- Well, of course you can, man.
- Really?

669
00:25:31.500 --> 00:25:33.500
- Yeah. That's--
- Whoa, wait a minute.

670
00:25:33.958 --> 00:25:35.667
You see, me and Griffin, we're a duo.

671
00:25:35.667 --> 00:25:37.875
We've never been a trio.
- What are you doing?

672
00:25:38.500 --> 00:25:39.958
- Right. Right, right, right. Okay, okay.

673
00:25:39.958 --> 00:25:42.042
- Andrew, do you mind if Griffin
and I just have a sidebar over here.

674
00:25:42.042 --> 00:25:43.042
Not about you, at all.

675
00:25:43.042 --> 00:25:44.542
Is that okay? Thank you.
- What's going on?

676
00:25:44.542 --> 00:25:47.125
- Whoa, we can't bring him, bro.
He's not helping our cool factor.

677
00:25:47.125 --> 00:25:49.875
- And you're doing wonders for
our cool factor bringing bonus overalls?

678
00:25:49.875 --> 00:25:52.708
Look, Lena has a wristband.
Sarah has a wristband! I need a wristband!

679
00:25:52.708 --> 00:25:54.875
And having another person to pedal
that monstrosity outside

680
00:25:54.875 --> 00:25:56.292
wouldn't hurt either.
HAGS: Fine.

681
00:25:56.292 --> 00:25:58.000
Fine. Andrew.

682
00:25:58.000 --> 00:25:59.792
- Yes.
- We're back. Sorry.

683
00:25:59.792 --> 00:26:00.500
- Uh-huh.

684
00:26:00.500 --> 00:26:01.375
What--
- You're in.

685
00:26:01.375 --> 00:26:03.208
- Yeah, you can be our wingman tonight.

686
00:26:03.208 --> 00:26:03.750
- What?

687
00:26:03.750 --> 00:26:04.625
GRIFFIN: Yeah.
HAGS: Yes.

688
00:26:05.083 --> 00:26:05.500
- What?

689
00:26:05.500 --> 00:26:07.000
- Oh-kay.

690
00:26:07.000 --> 00:26:08.292
GRIFFIN: Yeah. It's all right.
ANDREW: Oh my god!

691
00:26:08.667 --> 00:26:09.958
Wow! Uh--

692
00:26:11.542 --> 00:26:14.792
I swear... I will not let you guys down.

693
00:26:14.792 --> 00:26:16.042
- How 'bout those wristbands?

694
00:26:16.417 --> 00:26:17.708
- Ah, yes.

695
00:26:17.708 --> 00:26:19.333
Actually, I 3D printed them.

696
00:26:19.333 --> 00:26:21.000
I 3D print a lot of stuff.

697
00:26:21.000 --> 00:26:22.667
- Oh, awesome, man. These things--

698
00:26:23.208 --> 00:26:24.750
- Andrew, these are purple.

699
00:26:24.750 --> 00:26:26.500
The Library Party wristbands are orange.

700
00:26:27.083 --> 00:26:29.417
- Yes. Hags, that is
a very good observation.

701
00:26:29.417 --> 00:26:32.917
You see, unfortunately,
the guy I usually barter with,

702
00:26:32.917 --> 00:26:34.625
he was all out of the orange filament so--

703
00:26:34.625 --> 00:26:36.875
- Well, that doesn't help us at all.
- Right, right, right. Uh--

704
00:26:37.583 --> 00:26:39.250
My twin brother Seb has real ones.

705
00:26:39.250 --> 00:26:41.292
- Seb? "The Ice Russian?"

706
00:26:42.208 --> 00:26:44.417
Didn't he go to juvie for stabbing
some guy with a screwdriver?

707
00:26:44.417 --> 00:26:45.833
- Wait, he's your twin brother?

708
00:26:45.833 --> 00:26:47.167
- Yeah. From a different father.

709
00:26:49.625 --> 00:26:51.000
- Excuse me.
- What?

710
00:26:51.708 --> 00:26:54.042
- Heteropaternal superfecundation.

711
00:26:56.208 --> 00:26:57.417
It's actually pretty common.

712
00:26:57.417 --> 00:27:00.042
You see, it's when a woman allows
two random sexual partners

713
00:27:00.042 --> 00:27:02.875
to ejaculate inside of her
during a special two-egg ovulation.

714
00:27:03.292 --> 00:27:06.958
Yeah. And then she has fraternal twins
from two different fathers.

715
00:27:06.958 --> 00:27:11.000
So I have a... half-twin brother.
Or a full twin half-brother.

716
00:27:11.542 --> 00:27:14.208
Halfernal for short. He's actually--
He's, uh, six days older than me.

717
00:27:15.000 --> 00:27:17.667
I was thinking we'd do the old switcheroo.

718
00:27:19.167 --> 00:27:21.083
All right,
just follow my bullshit.

719
00:27:21.083 --> 00:27:22.875
Okay, guys, listen to me.

720
00:27:22.875 --> 00:27:25.125
No matter what he says, do not sit down.

721
00:27:29.167 --> 00:27:31.750
- Hello! How are you?

722
00:27:31.750 --> 00:27:33.542
Uh, I'm Hags. This is Griffin.

723
00:27:34.375 --> 00:27:35.375
You know Andrew.

724
00:27:38.875 --> 00:27:39.958
That's a real beer.

725
00:27:41.750 --> 00:27:42.917
SEB: The fuck is it?

726
00:27:45.833 --> 00:27:46.792
- Go, go.

727
00:27:49.875 --> 00:27:50.708
[dart pops]

728
00:27:51.750 --> 00:27:53.000
- Ah, little brother.

729
00:27:54.000 --> 00:27:54.750
What are you doing here?

730
00:27:54.750 --> 00:27:56.083
I thought you vowed
never to talk to me again

731
00:27:56.083 --> 00:27:58.542
after I made you eat all that tinsel
off the Christmas tree.

732
00:27:58.542 --> 00:28:00.208
- Time heals all wounds, brother.

733
00:28:00.208 --> 00:28:01.833
- Ah, there's always time to make another.
[rips]

734
00:28:01.833 --> 00:28:03.333
- Whoa. Okay. All right.
[dart pops]

735
00:28:03.333 --> 00:28:05.375
Guys, I think we're really getting off
on the wrong foot here.

736
00:28:05.375 --> 00:28:06.375
- Are you cops?

737
00:28:06.375 --> 00:28:09.333
- We are literally in the same grade.
Why does everyone think we're cops?

738
00:28:09.333 --> 00:28:10.458
- I don't really know.
[dart pops]

739
00:28:10.458 --> 00:28:13.000
Oh! Uh, speaking of
the Library Party tonight,

740
00:28:13.000 --> 00:28:15.792
we have these really cool
purple VIP wristbands,

741
00:28:15.792 --> 00:28:16.958
but we don't know where the entrance is.

742
00:28:16.958 --> 00:28:18.792
- Yeah, we can't find
any information online.

743
00:28:18.792 --> 00:28:22.292
- Yes. So, we just figured a couple top
cool all-stars like yourselves would know.

744
00:28:23.000 --> 00:28:24.667
- VIP?
HAGS: Yes.

745
00:28:27.833 --> 00:28:28.583
- Have a seat.

746
00:28:30.958 --> 00:28:32.208
- We're standers.
- Sit!

747
00:28:32.208 --> 00:28:33.958
- Yeah, we can do that.
- Sure.

748
00:28:40.375 --> 00:28:41.333
[snorts]

749
00:28:42.167 --> 00:28:42.958
- Ohh!

750
00:28:45.833 --> 00:28:46.625
Jersey Turnpike?

751
00:28:47.375 --> 00:28:48.708
- Jersey Turnpike?

752
00:28:48.708 --> 00:28:50.458
- Half a line of protein,
half a line of creatine.

753
00:28:50.458 --> 00:28:52.000
- That's not even drugs?
- Yeah, why would I wanna do that?

754
00:28:52.000 --> 00:28:52.667
I don't wanna do that.

755
00:28:52.667 --> 00:28:54.708
- If you're not a narc, then you
wouldn't mind doing a Jersey Turnpike.

756
00:28:54.708 --> 00:28:55.167
[airhorn blares]
- Oh!

757
00:28:55.167 --> 00:28:56.708
Dude, do the Jersey Turnpike.

758
00:28:57.042 --> 00:28:58.417
[sniffs deeply]

759
00:29:01.292 --> 00:29:04.208
- Whoa... [stammers] that burns a lot.

760
00:29:04.208 --> 00:29:05.042
- Yeah, baby!

761
00:29:05.875 --> 00:29:06.958
So let me get this straight.

762
00:29:07.958 --> 00:29:10.917
You come into my personal space
with your purple wristbands

763
00:29:10.917 --> 00:29:13.125
and this talk of VIP.

764
00:29:13.125 --> 00:29:14.958
You think you're what, just gonna,

765
00:29:17.000 --> 00:29:18.833
just waltz out of here?

766
00:29:18.833 --> 00:29:19.833
[airhorn blares]
- Oh!

767
00:29:22.667 --> 00:29:24.042
- Well, you got another thing coming,

768
00:29:27.167 --> 00:29:28.625
because I would love...

769
00:29:31.333 --> 00:29:33.000
to compensate you for those.

770
00:29:35.083 --> 00:29:36.000
Generously.

771
00:29:36.000 --> 00:29:36.917
- Yeah, that--

772
00:29:36.917 --> 00:29:38.042
- How's a grand sound?

773
00:29:38.042 --> 00:29:39.083
- Pssh.
- That works.

774
00:29:39.083 --> 00:29:40.417
- That's a pretty good deal.
- That's great.

775
00:29:40.417 --> 00:29:41.167
- Perfect for us.
- Huh?

776
00:29:41.167 --> 00:29:43.542
- 'Cause no offense,
'cause you're not really the VIP type.

777
00:29:44.917 --> 00:29:45.875
You stand out.

778
00:29:45.875 --> 00:29:47.292
- We totally agree.

779
00:29:47.292 --> 00:29:48.583
Thank you for being so honest.

780
00:29:48.583 --> 00:29:49.750
[airhorn blares]
Oh-kay!

781
00:29:49.750 --> 00:29:52.083
This guy, man. He really likes that thing.

782
00:29:52.083 --> 00:29:54.667
- Okay, so if you guys are good,
I think we're good. We're definitely good.

783
00:29:54.667 --> 00:29:56.500
So I think then that's it.
I think that's it then.

784
00:29:56.500 --> 00:29:59.083
So we'll just swap our VIP wristbands
for your normal ones. And that's good.

785
00:29:59.083 --> 00:30:00.333
These are for you.
- Thank you, Seb.

786
00:30:00.333 --> 00:30:01.750
Give my boy the cash, all right.

787
00:30:01.750 --> 00:30:04.667
It was nice doing business with you.
- Oh, oh, I just have one more question.

788
00:30:04.667 --> 00:30:05.708
Come on.

789
00:30:07.125 --> 00:30:09.042
- It's a secret.
- It's... it's--

790
00:30:11.917 --> 00:30:13.042
- Ahh!
HAGS: Whoa! Whoa!

791
00:30:13.042 --> 00:30:14.083
- You think I'm fucking stupid?

792
00:30:14.083 --> 00:30:15.250
- No, sir! No, we do not.
SEB: Huh?

793
00:30:15.250 --> 00:30:16.333
[groans]
SEB: You come in here.

794
00:30:16.333 --> 00:30:17.750
You try to take the Gauntlet win from us?

795
00:30:17.750 --> 00:30:18.542
You got--
[mini-crossbow whooshes]

796
00:30:19.708 --> 00:30:20.833
Oww!

797
00:30:21.792 --> 00:30:24.250
Oh fuck! Ow!

798
00:30:24.250 --> 00:30:27.208
Wha-- No! What the fuck? Oh, you shot me!

799
00:30:27.208 --> 00:30:28.167
- Now let me friend go!

800
00:30:28.167 --> 00:30:29.333
- I'm not touching him. He's over there.

801
00:30:29.333 --> 00:30:30.667
- Let him go!

802
00:30:30.667 --> 00:30:31.667
- I'm not even near him!

803
00:30:31.667 --> 00:30:33.167
- Give me the wristbands

804
00:30:33.167 --> 00:30:34.667
or the next one's in the breadbasket,

805
00:30:34.667 --> 00:30:35.833
I fucking swear to God!

806
00:30:35.833 --> 00:30:36.917
- Give it to him. Give it to him.

807
00:30:36.917 --> 00:30:37.917
Okay, good. Calm down--

808
00:30:39.042 --> 00:30:41.167
[screams]
GRIFFIN: Oh.

809
00:30:43.083 --> 00:30:45.125
- Oh my god! You shot my dick!

810
00:30:45.125 --> 00:30:46.417
You shot my dick!

811
00:30:46.417 --> 00:30:48.708
- Oh!
- All right, motherfuckers.

812
00:30:48.708 --> 00:30:50.708
- He shot my penis.
- You shot his penis.

813
00:30:50.708 --> 00:30:52.375
- There's gonna be--
- Oww! What the--

814
00:30:52.375 --> 00:30:53.667
- I'm sorry. I'm so sorry, Hags.

815
00:30:53.667 --> 00:30:55.875
- Goddammit! You shot me in my neck!

816
00:30:55.875 --> 00:30:56.708
- God, I don't want to look at it.

817
00:30:56.708 --> 00:30:57.792
ANDREW: I didn't mean to! I'm sorry.

818
00:30:57.792 --> 00:30:58.792
- We gotta go!

819
00:30:58.792 --> 00:31:00.208
- Don't pull it out! Don't pull it out!

820
00:31:00.208 --> 00:31:01.583
GRIFFIN: Go! Go! Go!
HAGS: Go!

821
00:31:01.583 --> 00:31:02.250
- Get 'em!

822
00:31:02.250 --> 00:31:04.542
GRIFFIN: We got the wristbands.
Let's go. We got 'em.

823
00:31:04.542 --> 00:31:06.125
ANDREW: I'm sorry!

824
00:31:06.125 --> 00:31:07.458
HAGS: What the fuck?

825
00:31:07.458 --> 00:31:08.000
SEB: Come on, get 'em!

826
00:31:08.875 --> 00:31:10.083
HAGS: Pump it!
MAN: I'm gonna kick your ass!

827
00:31:10.083 --> 00:31:12.458
- It's right on the shaft.
It's right on the shaft.

828
00:31:14.750 --> 00:31:15.750
ANDREW: Did we lose them?

829
00:31:15.750 --> 00:31:16.750
GRIFFIN: Do you think we can stop?

830
00:31:16.750 --> 00:31:18.208
HAGS: Ow.
GRIFFIN: I think we're good.

831
00:31:18.208 --> 00:31:19.458
HAGS: Owww!
GRIFFIN: I think we can stop!

832
00:31:21.583 --> 00:31:22.458
Oh!

833
00:31:22.833 --> 00:31:23.667
Oh, that was crazy.

834
00:31:24.500 --> 00:31:25.292
HAGS: Ahh!

835
00:31:26.000 --> 00:31:26.958
Oww!

836
00:31:26.958 --> 00:31:28.583
All right. We're okay.

837
00:31:28.583 --> 00:31:29.875
- That was so crazy.

838
00:31:29.875 --> 00:31:32.250
- I got a dart in my neck!

839
00:31:32.250 --> 00:31:33.917
I have a dart in my neck.

840
00:31:33.917 --> 00:31:36.292
- I'm sorry, Hags. I didn't mean to.

841
00:31:36.292 --> 00:31:37.875
- Griffin, what the fuck is on your face?

842
00:31:37.875 --> 00:31:39.917
- What?
HAGS: What's on your face?

843
00:31:39.917 --> 00:31:41.250
Oh! Oh my god.

844
00:31:41.250 --> 00:31:42.458
- I don't know, it's stuck.

845
00:31:42.458 --> 00:31:43.667
- You gotta rip it off.
HAGS: Holy--

846
00:31:43.667 --> 00:31:44.792
- Just rip it?
- Like a Band-Aid.

847
00:31:44.792 --> 00:31:48.042
- No, just take it off your-- Oh shit!
- Oh!

848
00:31:48.042 --> 00:31:52.250
Ohhh! Fuck you. That hurts so bad!

849
00:31:52.250 --> 00:31:53.292
ANDREW: You really went for it.

850
00:31:53.667 --> 00:31:55.250
- Why is there hair on the paper?

851
00:31:55.250 --> 00:31:56.667
HAGS: Okay, okay.

852
00:31:56.667 --> 00:31:58.375
- Andrew, did I just rip my eyebrow off?

853
00:31:59.292 --> 00:32:00.542
- No, not all of it.

854
00:32:00.542 --> 00:32:01.792
HAGS: Ohh!

855
00:32:01.792 --> 00:32:04.042
- Oh fuck! Uh--

856
00:32:04.042 --> 00:32:07.083
Okay. Okay. How long does it take
for an eyebrow to grow back?

857
00:32:07.750 --> 00:32:08.792
- Six to twelve months.

858
00:32:08.792 --> 00:32:10.708
- Months!
- Couple weeks to get one shipped.

859
00:32:10.708 --> 00:32:12.792
- I need serious medical attention here.

860
00:32:12.792 --> 00:32:15.417
- I can't talk to Lena like this.
I can't talk to Lena with one eyebrow.

861
00:32:15.417 --> 00:32:17.458
- You guys need
some Library Party wristbands?

862
00:32:17.458 --> 00:32:18.333
$50.

863
00:32:20.583 --> 00:32:22.458
- So, you guys need 'em?
I got 'em. Fifty bucks.

864
00:32:23.083 --> 00:32:23.917
- What?

865
00:32:24.333 --> 00:32:27.208
♪ jazz music playing on stereo ♪

866
00:32:29.250 --> 00:32:31.250
CARLSEN: I got the Tahini,
the green pepper.

867
00:32:31.667 --> 00:32:33.708
And finish it off with that <i>limon.</i>

868
00:32:34.542 --> 00:32:35.292
See what you think.

869
00:32:35.292 --> 00:32:36.042
- All right.

870
00:32:39.333 --> 00:32:40.208
Oh my god.

871
00:32:40.833 --> 00:32:43.167
That is the most perfect hummus as always.

872
00:32:43.167 --> 00:32:45.042
- That's just a hobby. It's pretty good.

873
00:32:46.042 --> 00:32:48.833
- Um... think I'm gonna
go upstairs and study,

874
00:32:48.833 --> 00:32:49.625
get ready for bed.

875
00:32:49.625 --> 00:32:50.417
- Study?

876
00:32:51.167 --> 00:32:52.917
Well, you already got into Brown.

877
00:32:52.917 --> 00:32:55.500
You should be having some fun.
You're not gonna be a teenager forever.

878
00:32:55.500 --> 00:32:58.458
- Uh... maybe tomorrow night, Dad.

879
00:32:58.458 --> 00:32:59.750
- All right. Well, you're gonna have
a hard time sleeping.

880
00:32:59.750 --> 00:33:00.708
I've laid a piece of wood out,

881
00:33:00.708 --> 00:33:03.375
and I'm gonna carve
one of those gnome walking sticks.

882
00:33:03.375 --> 00:33:05.667
I know they're ugly bastards,
but I'm drawn to them.
[Lena chuckles]

883
00:33:06.042 --> 00:33:07.667
- I like 'em.
- You get some rest.

884
00:33:07.667 --> 00:33:08.667
- Okay.

885
00:33:08.667 --> 00:33:10.292
- Change your mind, we got
a bowl of hummus down here.

886
00:33:10.292 --> 00:33:12.125
[tires screeching]

887
00:33:12.125 --> 00:33:14.292
[objects clattering]

888
00:33:14.292 --> 00:33:17.042
Get off my lawn,
you tweaking son of a bitch!

889
00:33:17.667 --> 00:33:19.000
I'll come out there and bu--

890
00:33:19.000 --> 00:33:20.000
WOMAN: Who the hell you talking to?

891
00:33:20.000 --> 00:33:21.708
- I'm so sorry, Mrs. Clarkson.

892
00:33:21.708 --> 00:33:23.458
I thought you were a Binger. My fault.

893
00:33:23.458 --> 00:33:25.250
Come on over. I got some hummus for you.

894
00:33:27.000 --> 00:33:27.625
MAN: Whoo!

895
00:33:31.292 --> 00:33:33.125
GRIFFIN: You guys really think
this looks okay?

896
00:33:33.125 --> 00:33:35.042
- Honestly, I think
it's better than before.

897
00:33:35.042 --> 00:33:37.458
ANDREW: Wow. You are an artist, Hags.

898
00:33:37.458 --> 00:33:38.583
HAGS: Thank you, Andrew,

899
00:33:38.583 --> 00:33:39.958
you crazy son of a bitch.

900
00:33:39.958 --> 00:33:41.000
You know, you were awesome back there.

901
00:33:41.000 --> 00:33:41.833
- You really were, man.

902
00:33:41.833 --> 00:33:44.500
- Really?
- Yeah, you were all like,
"Oh, let my friends go!"

903
00:33:44.500 --> 00:33:45.292
- That was crazy!

904
00:33:45.292 --> 00:33:47.625
- Yeah. Like a modern day Moses!

905
00:33:47.625 --> 00:33:48.375
- Sure.

906
00:33:48.917 --> 00:33:50.750
- Oh, Seb's gonna murder me

907
00:33:50.750 --> 00:33:52.250
and you guys too at some point,

908
00:33:52.250 --> 00:33:54.583
but net-net, I think it was worth it.

909
00:33:54.583 --> 00:33:56.625
- Three whiskey shots.

910
00:33:56.625 --> 00:33:58.500
Enjoy!

911
00:33:58.500 --> 00:33:59.625
Happy Binge.

912
00:34:00.042 --> 00:34:01.167
Sick brow!
GRIFFIN: Oh.

913
00:34:01.167 --> 00:34:02.125
- Told you!

914
00:34:02.125 --> 00:34:03.625
- Thank you, ma'am.

915
00:34:03.625 --> 00:34:06.042
- Um, maybe we should just get
to the party, you know.

916
00:34:06.042 --> 00:34:06.792
Beat the rush.

917
00:34:06.792 --> 00:34:09.583
- We are not trying to get
discount printers on Black Friday.

918
00:34:09.583 --> 00:34:10.167
To the Binge!

919
00:34:10.167 --> 00:34:11.792
- But what if promposal guy
beats me there?

920
00:34:11.792 --> 00:34:15.125
- Lena is not there yet.
I can promise you that, okay.

921
00:34:15.125 --> 00:34:16.875
Plus, you don't wanna go dead sober.

922
00:34:16.875 --> 00:34:18.000
Which is why I brought you here,

923
00:34:18.000 --> 00:34:19.500
because you get all locked up around her.

924
00:34:19.500 --> 00:34:21.208
Right? To the Binge!

925
00:34:21.208 --> 00:34:22.917
- Hags is absolutely right, by the way.

926
00:34:22.917 --> 00:34:25.083
People are more likely
to have sex while on drugs.

927
00:34:25.625 --> 00:34:28.458
My mom got pregnant with Seb
and I while she was on cat tranquilizer.

928
00:34:28.792 --> 00:34:30.000
- Why did we ever stop hanging out?

929
00:34:30.458 --> 00:34:32.250
- That's a funny story, Hags.

930
00:34:32.250 --> 00:34:34.542
Remember Greg Olivotti's
roller rink party,

931
00:34:34.542 --> 00:34:37.333
where you guys convinced me
to do the <i>Mambo No. 5</i> shuffle?

932
00:34:37.333 --> 00:34:40.375
Well, I crashed into Christina Barnes
and dislocated her shoulder,

933
00:34:40.375 --> 00:34:43.167
and then she couldn't go
to the cheer finals in Fort Lauderdale.

934
00:34:43.167 --> 00:34:44.958
They ended up losing,
and everyone blamed me.

935
00:34:45.583 --> 00:34:46.958
Then I come to find out
there's no such thing

936
00:34:46.958 --> 00:34:48.667
as the <i>Mambo No. 5</i> shuffle to begin with.

937
00:34:49.500 --> 00:34:51.250
That kind of changed
the course of my life.

938
00:34:51.958 --> 00:34:53.917
- Wow. I totally forgot about that.

939
00:34:53.917 --> 00:34:55.208
- Yeah. Me too.

940
00:34:55.208 --> 00:34:57.083
Sorry about that, man.
- I'm really sorry, man.

941
00:34:57.083 --> 00:34:58.833
- It's okay. I mean,
hey, we're together now.

942
00:34:58.833 --> 00:34:59.625
That's all that matters.

943
00:34:59.625 --> 00:35:01.500
It just means that we're gonna have
to pack half a decade

944
00:35:01.500 --> 00:35:02.792
of could-have-beens into one night!

945
00:35:02.792 --> 00:35:03.958
- Amen to that!

946
00:35:03.958 --> 00:35:06.083
- Okay, I'll have a drink.
I don't want to embarrass myself.

947
00:35:06.083 --> 00:35:07.125
But then we really need to go.

948
00:35:07.125 --> 00:35:09.750
- To our first sip of alcohol.

949
00:35:10.333 --> 00:35:11.250
To the Binge.

950
00:35:11.250 --> 00:35:12.083
- Yeah.

951
00:35:12.083 --> 00:35:13.792
- Cheers, fellas.
- Okay.

952
00:35:13.792 --> 00:35:14.667
Uhh!

953
00:35:17.208 --> 00:35:19.708
[all groaning]

954
00:35:23.833 --> 00:35:24.750
- Another round?

955
00:35:24.750 --> 00:35:25.917
- Absolutely!

956
00:35:25.917 --> 00:35:27.792
- I'm gonna go to the bathroom.
- I'll have some celery sticks!

957
00:35:28.458 --> 00:35:30.500
♪ Hitchhiker's <i>NADA</i> playing ♪

958
00:35:30.500 --> 00:35:34.417
♪

959
00:35:38.583 --> 00:35:42.667
♪

960
00:35:46.000 --> 00:35:50.458
♪

961
00:35:50.458 --> 00:35:52.500
ANNOUNCER: <i>Bingers. Bingers. Bingers!</i>

962
00:35:52.500 --> 00:35:54.250
<i>Come on down to the Carnegie Library</i>

963
00:35:54.250 --> 00:35:56.375
<i>for your chance to become</i>
<i>a part of history</i>

964
00:35:56.375 --> 00:35:58.708
<i>in this year's Gauntlet.</i>

965
00:35:58.708 --> 00:36:01.667
<i>Four grueling rounds of drug</i>
<i>and alcohol-infused competition</i>

966
00:36:01.667 --> 00:36:03.625
<i>of mind, body, and soul.</i>

967
00:36:03.625 --> 00:36:06.083
<i>You've heard the rumors, now live them.</i>

968
00:36:06.083 --> 00:36:09.458
<i>Maybe even see the return of</i>
<i>the Gauntlet's most legendary Valleyman.</i>

969
00:36:09.458 --> 00:36:10.417
<i>El Pantera.</i>

970
00:36:10.417 --> 00:36:11.458
[panther snarls]

971
00:36:11.458 --> 00:36:14.167
<i>One night only. This year's Gauntlet.</i>

972
00:36:14.167 --> 00:36:17.250
<i>Be there! And don't die!</i>

973
00:36:17.250 --> 00:36:19.583
HAGS: [thinking] <i>Gauntlet legends.</i>
[urinating]

974
00:36:19.583 --> 00:36:21.917
<i>What I wouldn't do to be up on this wall.</i>

975
00:36:21.917 --> 00:36:25.375
[cell phone buzzing]

976
00:36:29.667 --> 00:36:30.792
Hags' hotline.

977
00:36:30.792 --> 00:36:32.125
<i>- Hags? Hags?</i>
<i>- Hello, Hags.</i>

978
00:36:32.875 --> 00:36:34.042
- Sarah. Hey!

979
00:36:34.042 --> 00:36:35.000
SARAH: <i>Are you in a bathroom?</i>

980
00:36:35.000 --> 00:36:36.542
- Yeah-- No, I'm not in a bathroom.

981
00:36:36.542 --> 00:36:40.875
I am at a Pre-Binge VIP Party.

982
00:36:40.875 --> 00:36:43.125
<i>- Definitely looks like the bathroom</i>
<i>of a Whack-A-Doodle's.</i>

983
00:36:43.875 --> 00:36:46.833
- Wow! That's crazy. I know, right?

984
00:36:46.833 --> 00:36:48.625
<i>- I remember you saying that</i>
<i>you were going to the Library Party,</i>

985
00:36:48.625 --> 00:36:50.292
<i>and I was wondering</i>
<i>if you could pick us up.</i>

986
00:36:50.292 --> 00:36:51.708
- Um, what happened to the limo?

987
00:36:51.708 --> 00:36:52.792
SARAH: <i>He's, like, an hour late.</i>

988
00:36:52.792 --> 00:36:54.625
<i>Can you come pick us up please.</i>
<i>We really want to ride you!</i>

989
00:36:55.167 --> 00:36:57.542
- What?
SARAH: <i>I said, we really want</i>
<i>to ride with you.</i>

990
00:36:58.458 --> 00:36:59.875
GRIFFIN: I don't get
why Lena'd be at Sarah's.

991
00:36:59.875 --> 00:37:01.500
ANDREW: Everyone's at Sarah's.

992
00:37:01.500 --> 00:37:04.167
It's the official unofficial
pre-game party.

993
00:37:04.167 --> 00:37:05.958
BOY 1: Hey! Who's the lucky bachelorette?

994
00:37:05.958 --> 00:37:07.417
BOY 2: <i>Mazel tov,</i> nerds.

995
00:37:07.417 --> 00:37:09.750
GRIFFIN: Maybe we should pull over for
a little bit and just collect ourselves.

996
00:37:09.750 --> 00:37:10.917
HAGS: No, fellas, we're almost there.

997
00:37:10.917 --> 00:37:11.833
GRIFFIN: I'm gonna throw up.

998
00:37:12.375 --> 00:37:13.625
[wheezy breath]

999
00:37:13.625 --> 00:37:16.708
- You make me do this stupid shit,
and I'm supposed to be the mysterious one?

1000
00:37:16.708 --> 00:37:19.125
- Do you want to hit triple digit likes
or do you want to stay in the low 60s

1001
00:37:19.125 --> 00:37:20.542
like Erika Mendelson?

1002
00:37:20.542 --> 00:37:22.250
- What in the fuck is that?

1003
00:37:22.250 --> 00:37:23.625
HAGS: Ladies,

1004
00:37:23.625 --> 00:37:26.250
your chariot has arrived.

1005
00:37:26.250 --> 00:37:27.917
- Ew, what happened to your eyebrow?

1006
00:37:27.917 --> 00:37:29.375
- He's got cancer. Next question?

1007
00:37:29.375 --> 00:37:30.083
- I don't have cancer.

1008
00:37:30.542 --> 00:37:32.833
HAGS: He's just being modest.
- Have you guys seen Lena at all?

1009
00:37:32.833 --> 00:37:34.208
- I don't know who that is.
- Who the fuck is Lena?

1010
00:37:34.208 --> 00:37:36.750
- She smells good.
- Ladies, you guys know Andrew, right?

1011
00:37:36.750 --> 00:37:38.333
- You're Ice Russian's twin.

1012
00:37:38.333 --> 00:37:40.167
Didn't you set the lacrosse field on fire?

1013
00:37:40.167 --> 00:37:42.333
- Uhh, somebody had to do it.
[clears throat]

1014
00:37:43.083 --> 00:37:43.583
- Cool.

1015
00:37:44.125 --> 00:37:47.417
- Listen, ladies, check it out,
we got, we got ten seats.

1016
00:37:47.917 --> 00:37:49.292
Eleven, if you count my face.

1017
00:37:49.292 --> 00:37:50.375
- What do you mean by that?

1018
00:37:51.417 --> 00:37:52.667
HAGS: There's a whole squad of y'all,

1019
00:37:53.125 --> 00:37:55.417
and there just might not be enough seats.

1020
00:37:55.958 --> 00:37:58.917
- Sorry, Hags. Our limo driver called.
He's gonna be here any minute.

1021
00:37:59.583 --> 00:38:01.708
- But... but we came
all this way to rescue you.

1022
00:38:01.708 --> 00:38:04.708
- It's just that being in a limo
sounds like a lot more fun than...

1023
00:38:05.917 --> 00:38:07.042
whatever that thing is.

1024
00:38:07.875 --> 00:38:09.583
- Hey, do you think we could ride
with you guys?

1025
00:38:09.583 --> 00:38:10.708
This thing is super hard to pedal.

1026
00:38:10.708 --> 00:38:13.000
- I'm so sorry, our seats are spoken for.

1027
00:38:13.000 --> 00:38:15.917
- Do you know how many people die
in limos per year?

1028
00:38:15.917 --> 00:38:17.792
Right? If you think
a regular car accident is bad,

1029
00:38:17.792 --> 00:38:20.708
now imagine you with 19
of your best friends

1030
00:38:20.708 --> 00:38:22.583
all dying at the same time?

1031
00:38:22.583 --> 00:38:24.292
Right? Think of your families.

1032
00:38:24.292 --> 00:38:26.958
Wouldn't that be awful? Just awful.

1033
00:38:27.333 --> 00:38:29.708
They will never recover
from this type of trauma.
- Hags! Hags! Hags!

1034
00:38:29.708 --> 00:38:30.833
Hags!
- What?

1035
00:38:30.833 --> 00:38:32.292
[indiscernible]

1036
00:38:32.292 --> 00:38:33.083
- Fuck!

1037
00:38:33.083 --> 00:38:34.542
HAGS: Oh no!
GIRL: Bye!

1038
00:38:34.542 --> 00:38:36.417
HAGS: My life's work.
GRIFFIN: No! No!

1039
00:38:36.417 --> 00:38:37.875
Oh no!

1040
00:38:37.875 --> 00:38:39.458
HAGS: No! Fuck! Fuck!

1041
00:38:39.458 --> 00:38:40.083
GRIFFIN: Oh no.

1042
00:38:40.083 --> 00:38:41.333
[tires screeching]
Oh god!

1043
00:38:41.333 --> 00:38:42.167
ANDREW: Oh no!

1044
00:38:42.750 --> 00:38:44.542
- Nooo!

1045
00:38:44.542 --> 00:38:46.208
GRIFFIN: How did it turn like that?

1046
00:38:47.125 --> 00:38:48.792
[Hags sobbing]

1047
00:38:48.792 --> 00:38:51.250
♪ pop music playing in distance ♪

1048
00:38:52.583 --> 00:38:53.583
Uh--
ANDREW: Guys!

1049
00:38:53.583 --> 00:38:54.417
[tires screeching]

1050
00:38:56.792 --> 00:38:57.792
GRIFFIN: Oh shit!

1051
00:38:57.792 --> 00:38:58.833
No!

1052
00:39:00.750 --> 00:39:01.583
ALL: Hey!

1053
00:39:01.583 --> 00:39:03.167
GRIFFIN: Wait.
HAGS: Hey! Hey!

1054
00:39:03.167 --> 00:39:05.625
We're saved. We're saved!

1055
00:39:05.625 --> 00:39:06.750
[girls cheering]
HAGS: Wait!

1056
00:39:06.750 --> 00:39:07.583
Yes!
GRIFFIN: Wait.

1057
00:39:07.583 --> 00:39:09.375
HAGS: Wait
[girls continue cheering]

1058
00:39:09.375 --> 00:39:10.417
Sarah!
GRIFFIN: Don't go.

1059
00:39:10.417 --> 00:39:12.042
No! No!
HAGS: Hey!

1060
00:39:12.500 --> 00:39:14.708
Goddammit!

1061
00:39:15.208 --> 00:39:16.292
[cell phone beeps]

1062
00:39:16.292 --> 00:39:17.042
Shit!

1063
00:39:17.542 --> 00:39:19.125
[tires screeching]

1064
00:39:19.125 --> 00:39:19.792
- It's Lena.

1065
00:39:20.417 --> 00:39:22.333
She just texted from the party.
She asked how long till we're there.

1066
00:39:22.333 --> 00:39:23.542
- Soon!
- How?

1067
00:39:23.542 --> 00:39:25.250
- We'll figure it out, okay.
We'll get there.

1068
00:39:25.250 --> 00:39:27.833
Just stall! Tell her
we're picking up some booze.

1069
00:39:27.833 --> 00:39:29.333
Or actually some presents!

1070
00:39:29.333 --> 00:39:30.958
Chicks love presents.
ANDREW: And astrology.

1071
00:39:31.292 --> 00:39:33.333
Just tell her that you're a Leo!
That's why you're getting the presents.

1072
00:39:33.333 --> 00:39:34.375
- I'm a Virgo, though.

1073
00:39:34.375 --> 00:39:36.708
- That's even better. That means that
your emotions rise with the tides!

1074
00:39:36.708 --> 00:39:37.917
- How do you know so much about astrology?

1075
00:39:37.917 --> 00:39:39.583
- I had a pen-pal that went to Space Camp.

1076
00:39:39.583 --> 00:39:41.583
- Wait, okay, that's a really good idea.
Let me think. Let me think for a second.

1077
00:39:41.583 --> 00:39:44.000
Uh... uh... "I'm at Sarah's.

1078
00:39:44.000 --> 00:39:46.208
"I'm just getting you presents

1079
00:39:46.208 --> 00:39:47.458
because I'm a Virgo." Send.

1080
00:39:47.458 --> 00:39:48.667
- Nice.
- Yeah?

1081
00:39:48.667 --> 00:39:50.208
HAGS: Proud of you.
- Thanks, guys.

1082
00:39:50.208 --> 00:39:51.125
- Proud of you.

1083
00:39:53.042 --> 00:39:54.833
- It autocorrected to
"I'm gonna get you pregnant

1084
00:39:54.833 --> 00:39:55.833
because I'm a virgin!"

1085
00:39:55.833 --> 00:39:57.500
Fuck!
- Oh no.

1086
00:39:57.500 --> 00:39:59.250
- I'm sorry. Typo.

1087
00:39:59.250 --> 00:40:00.125
Auto--

1088
00:40:00.708 --> 00:40:01.292
[cell phone chimes]

1089
00:40:01.292 --> 00:40:03.125
Fuck! I doubled down.
- Damn!

1090
00:40:03.125 --> 00:40:05.417
- Fuck! Wait, there's bubbles,
there's bubbles, she's typing.

1091
00:40:07.083 --> 00:40:08.708
The bubbles went away.
Why'd the bubbles go away?

1092
00:40:08.708 --> 00:40:10.250
Guys, this is really, really bad.
What do I do?

1093
00:40:10.250 --> 00:40:12.458
- You relax. You wait for her
to respond, right?

1094
00:40:12.458 --> 00:40:14.167
She might be into it.
You gotta gauge her temperature.

1095
00:40:14.167 --> 00:40:16.125
- It said, "getting pregnant."
Why would she be into that?

1096
00:40:16.125 --> 00:40:18.375
- Just, like, keep tapping it.
It might go away.

1097
00:40:18.375 --> 00:40:19.625
♪ dance music playing in distance ♪

1098
00:40:20.542 --> 00:40:21.417
HAGS: Oh my god.

1099
00:40:21.417 --> 00:40:22.625
- Oh shit.
- Yes!

1100
00:40:22.625 --> 00:40:25.125
Yes! See, I told you
she wouldn't leave us.

1101
00:40:25.125 --> 00:40:27.042
Come on! Hey, Sarah!

1102
00:40:27.042 --> 00:40:28.333
SARAH: You guys need a ride?

1103
00:40:28.333 --> 00:40:29.583
- Yes, please, thank you.
- That would be amazing. Please.

1104
00:40:29.583 --> 00:40:30.458
- Stop.

1105
00:40:31.250 --> 00:40:33.750
We'll give you a ride if you--

1106
00:40:33.750 --> 00:40:34.625
- Suck each other?

1107
00:40:37.500 --> 00:40:38.917
- Punch each other in the face.

1108
00:40:39.375 --> 00:40:40.167
What?
KIMMI: Yeah.

1109
00:40:40.167 --> 00:40:42.583
- Sarah, come on, please.
Just give us a ride.

1110
00:40:42.583 --> 00:40:44.333
Griffin's got to go ask
his girlfriend to prom.

1111
00:40:44.333 --> 00:40:45.625
- I'm not fucking kidding.
- Mm-mm.

1112
00:40:45.625 --> 00:40:47.208
- If you guys want to get in this car,

1113
00:40:47.208 --> 00:40:49.917
you need to punch each other in the faces
like you fucking mean it.

1114
00:40:49.917 --> 00:40:52.292
- Guys, guys, I've been punched
in the face before.

1115
00:40:52.292 --> 00:40:54.500
It's not so bad, okay.
Just picture the other guy naked.

1116
00:40:54.500 --> 00:40:56.250
- What? Guys, no. We're not punching
each other in the face.

1117
00:40:56.250 --> 00:40:57.625
- Griffin, this is our only ride.

1118
00:40:57.625 --> 00:40:59.708
- Sarah, this is crazy, right?
I mean, come on.

1119
00:40:59.708 --> 00:41:01.500
You don't actually want us
to punch each other in the face.

1120
00:41:01.500 --> 00:41:02.375
- Fuck these guys. Let's go.

1121
00:41:02.375 --> 00:41:03.250
- We'll do it. We'll do it.

1122
00:41:03.250 --> 00:41:05.208
HAGS: Okay, Sarah, we're gonna do it!
We're gonna do it!

1123
00:41:05.208 --> 00:41:07.708
Just punch me. Just punch me
and let's get this shit over with.

1124
00:41:07.708 --> 00:41:09.417
- That's so dumb.
- Remember drama camp class?

1125
00:41:09.417 --> 00:41:11.708
I'm gonna sell that shit to the left.
Bang. Right there.

1126
00:41:11.708 --> 00:41:12.958
Right there. Ready?
- Ready?

1127
00:41:12.958 --> 00:41:13.958
BOTH: One,

1128
00:41:14.417 --> 00:41:14.958
two--

1129
00:41:15.458 --> 00:41:17.042
GRIFFIN: Oww!
[girls laughing]

1130
00:41:17.042 --> 00:41:17.750
- What the fuck?

1131
00:41:17.750 --> 00:41:19.458
- Oh, why would you do that?

1132
00:41:19.458 --> 00:41:21.000
- Now it's over. It's not so bad, right?

1133
00:41:21.000 --> 00:41:23.542
- Bad. Very, very, very bad, Andrew. Fuck!

1134
00:41:23.542 --> 00:41:25.750
- The trick to getting punched in the face
is to not see it coming.

1135
00:41:25.750 --> 00:41:26.708
- That was my fucking ear!

1136
00:41:26.708 --> 00:41:28.417
HAGS: Okay. One down, two to go.

1137
00:41:28.417 --> 00:41:31.083
Andrew, I'm gonna punch you.
Griffin, you punch me.

1138
00:41:31.083 --> 00:41:31.750
- Okay.
- Ready?

1139
00:41:31.750 --> 00:41:32.833
ANDREW: Right.
- On the count of three.

1140
00:41:32.833 --> 00:41:34.708
- Got it.
- One, two, three--

1141
00:41:34.708 --> 00:41:38.417
Ow! What the fu-- Ow!

1142
00:41:38.417 --> 00:41:40.417
Is your head made out of a filing cabinet?

1143
00:41:40.417 --> 00:41:41.583
- Okay, now your turn, Hags!

1144
00:41:41.583 --> 00:41:43.708
- Okay. Okay. My turn.
- You ready?

1145
00:41:43.708 --> 00:41:45.250
- I'm ready. Here we go.
GRIFFIN: Here we go.

1146
00:41:45.250 --> 00:41:45.875
You ready?

1147
00:41:45.875 --> 00:41:46.708
HAGS: Punch me.
- Okay.

1148
00:41:46.708 --> 00:41:48.292
- On the count of three.
- Look at me.

1149
00:41:48.292 --> 00:41:50.250
BOTH: One, two--

1150
00:41:50.667 --> 00:41:51.667
- Wait a minute!
- Okay.

1151
00:41:52.042 --> 00:41:53.083
- Just give me a minute.
- Okay.

1152
00:41:53.083 --> 00:41:55.167
SARAH: Come on, Hags.
- Okay. Sarah, I'm doing this sh--

1153
00:41:55.167 --> 00:41:56.250
Ahh!

1154
00:41:56.250 --> 00:41:58.458
GIRL 1: Shit!
GIRL 2: Oh-- In the neck!

1155
00:41:58.458 --> 00:42:00.000
- Fuck, you hit my throat.

1156
00:42:00.000 --> 00:42:01.833
GRIFFIN: You okay?
- What happened to the "Go"?

1157
00:42:01.833 --> 00:42:03.167
- I've never punched someone
in the face before.

1158
00:42:03.167 --> 00:42:04.875
My inner-ear balance is all messed up.

1159
00:42:04.875 --> 00:42:06.500
SARAH: I can't believe
you guys just did that.

1160
00:42:06.500 --> 00:42:08.125
We would have let you in the car anyway.

1161
00:42:08.625 --> 00:42:09.583
- I can't swallow.

1162
00:42:09.583 --> 00:42:11.083
- I fucking love tonight.

1163
00:42:11.083 --> 00:42:13.000
Oh my god. Get in, you earned it.

1164
00:42:13.000 --> 00:42:14.292
- We're all good, right?

1165
00:42:15.167 --> 00:42:16.458
- Stop. What are you guys doing?

1166
00:42:16.458 --> 00:42:18.083
Go in the front.
There's no room back here.

1167
00:42:18.625 --> 00:42:20.000
Fucking virgins.

1168
00:42:20.625 --> 00:42:23.000
- Oh man!

1169
00:42:23.000 --> 00:42:24.792
Sorry about that
punchdrunk love back there.

1170
00:42:24.792 --> 00:42:27.708
Looks like you guys really took
some shit to the face!

1171
00:42:27.708 --> 00:42:29.542
That was cool. Chicks said you'd dig it.

1172
00:42:29.542 --> 00:42:32.000
I doubt it! Right? I'm Pompano Mike!

1173
00:42:32.000 --> 00:42:33.625
- Hey.
- Pompano, huh?

1174
00:42:33.625 --> 00:42:35.542
- Yeah.
- My grandparents live in Florida!

1175
00:42:35.542 --> 00:42:37.042
- Oh! What are their names?
- Uh--

1176
00:42:37.042 --> 00:42:38.583
- I'm just kidding, I'm not from there.

1177
00:42:38.583 --> 00:42:40.792
I just like to live my life
in a South Florida state of mind!

1178
00:42:40.792 --> 00:42:42.417
[engine starts]
Strap on your dicks, boys,

1179
00:42:42.417 --> 00:42:43.292
here we go!

1180
00:42:44.250 --> 00:42:48.042
FREEMAN VOICE: <i>And so as daylight</i>
<i>fades across the landscape</i>

1181
00:42:48.042 --> 00:42:51.042
<i>and the moon sits perched</i>
<i>in the night sky,</i>

1182
00:42:51.583 --> 00:42:55.833
<i>the effects of the poison grip</i>
<i>the minds of all who imbibe.</i>

1183
00:42:55.833 --> 00:42:58.542
<i>Some will live to tell a tale of growth</i>

1184
00:42:58.542 --> 00:43:02.375
<i>while other may fall prey</i>
<i>to the dark side.</i>

1185
00:43:02.917 --> 00:43:04.375
[cheering and shouting]

1186
00:43:04.375 --> 00:43:06.917
♪ electronic dance music playing ♪

1187
00:43:07.250 --> 00:43:08.875
CARLSEN: It's getting crazy out there.

1188
00:43:08.875 --> 00:43:10.083
[siren wailing in distance]

1189
00:43:10.083 --> 00:43:13.167
You know, I know tonight brings up
a lot of embarrassing memories

1190
00:43:13.167 --> 00:43:15.583
for... both of us.

1191
00:43:17.500 --> 00:43:18.833
Your mom leaving,

1192
00:43:19.250 --> 00:43:20.417
the RV fires.

1193
00:43:20.958 --> 00:43:22.625
[snoring]
I was actually hoping
to talk to you about it tonight,

1194
00:43:22.625 --> 00:43:24.458
but, uh, you sleep like a dead sailor.

1195
00:43:25.500 --> 00:43:26.958
You snore like my Uncle Stretch.

1196
00:43:27.833 --> 00:43:30.375
Have to get you
a sleep apnea machine for college.

1197
00:43:33.708 --> 00:43:34.500
College.

1198
00:43:36.958 --> 00:43:38.583
Where does all the time go, huh?

1199
00:43:38.583 --> 00:43:42.042
DIGITAL ASSISTANT: <i>The time is 8:51 p. m.</i>

1200
00:43:51.583 --> 00:43:52.708
[tablet buzzing]

1201
00:43:54.000 --> 00:43:55.125
"I'm at Sarah's.

1202
00:43:55.125 --> 00:43:57.417
I'm gonna get you pregnant
because I'm a virgin!"

1203
00:43:57.875 --> 00:43:58.708
Griffin.

1204
00:44:01.417 --> 00:44:03.000
Griffin, you son of a bitch.

1205
00:44:05.667 --> 00:44:06.458
Sarah.

1206
00:44:07.958 --> 00:44:10.167
Sarah Martin's Dank-Ass Pre-Game.

1207
00:44:10.167 --> 00:44:14.083
- Whoo!
- We're gonna live forever!

1208
00:44:14.083 --> 00:44:17.083
- I'm also gonna live forever!
[girls cheering]

1209
00:44:17.083 --> 00:44:18.250
- What the fuck?

1210
00:44:18.250 --> 00:44:19.958
KIMMI: No, get down. Come on.
- This is our thing.

1211
00:44:19.958 --> 00:44:21.583
KIMMI: This is our thing.
GIRL: Sorry.

1212
00:44:22.292 --> 00:44:23.792
BOTH: Whoo!

1213
00:44:23.792 --> 00:44:26.042
♪ H. Mills <i>Jealous</i> playing on speakers ♪

1214
00:44:26.042 --> 00:44:27.792
[cheering]

1215
00:44:27.792 --> 00:44:31.417
- Give me a YOLO
and one ass cheek on three.

1216
00:44:32.875 --> 00:44:34.792
- Pretty cool car, man.

1217
00:44:34.792 --> 00:44:35.625
- Yeah, thanks.

1218
00:44:35.625 --> 00:44:37.458
You know, this is
the last remaining automobile

1219
00:44:37.458 --> 00:44:39.167
from Xzibit's <i>Pimp My Ride</i> show.

1220
00:44:39.167 --> 00:44:41.917
Probably before your time.
I'm pretty bad with ages.

1221
00:44:41.917 --> 00:44:45.292
What are you guys, like, 36? 38?

1222
00:44:45.292 --> 00:44:48.500
- Uh... 18.
- Nice! That was a fun age.

1223
00:44:48.500 --> 00:44:49.750
Ah, you guys are totally legal!

1224
00:44:50.083 --> 00:44:52.000
You know what? Check this out!

1225
00:44:52.500 --> 00:44:55.125
On Binge night, I load up, baby.

1226
00:44:55.125 --> 00:44:56.708
- Pompano, you know driving
under the influence

1227
00:44:56.708 --> 00:44:58.167
is still against the law tonight, right?

1228
00:44:58.167 --> 00:44:58.667
- Yeah.

1229
00:44:58.667 --> 00:45:01.625
But the only way to avoid drivers
under the influence

1230
00:45:01.625 --> 00:45:03.417
is to be over the influence.

1231
00:45:03.875 --> 00:45:05.083
That was my senior quote.

1232
00:45:05.083 --> 00:45:08.000
I thought it was pretty wise
at the time, and I still do.

1233
00:45:08.000 --> 00:45:09.042
You wanna tug on that?

1234
00:45:09.042 --> 00:45:10.667
Tug it up.
- Uh, no, I'm good--

1235
00:45:10.667 --> 00:45:11.417
- Take it to tug town.

1236
00:45:12.042 --> 00:45:14.708
Besides, the cops are pretty lenient
tonight, anyways.

1237
00:45:14.708 --> 00:45:18.000
Especially when they find out that
my Uncle Rick invented the Chia Pet.

1238
00:45:18.000 --> 00:45:20.583
Wasn't really my uncle, he just was a man.

1239
00:45:20.583 --> 00:45:23.000
That's it. Suck it down pipe, guys!

1240
00:45:23.000 --> 00:45:24.958
Good, good, good. Suck it down pipe!

1241
00:45:24.958 --> 00:45:25.833
- What?

1242
00:45:25.833 --> 00:45:27.750
- Put it to your lips
and suck it down pipe!

1243
00:45:27.750 --> 00:45:29.375
[Andrew coughing]

1244
00:45:29.375 --> 00:45:30.542
Yeah.

1245
00:45:33.083 --> 00:45:34.167
Suck it down pipe!

1246
00:45:34.167 --> 00:45:35.542
- Can you stop saying that?

1247
00:45:35.542 --> 00:45:37.167
- Ha! Suck it down pipe!

1248
00:45:37.167 --> 00:45:38.417
Suck it down pipe!
- I'm okay, man.

1249
00:45:38.417 --> 00:45:39.750
I don't want to cloud
my judgment anymore.

1250
00:45:40.292 --> 00:45:42.375
- You know, the best way to deal
with troubles in your life

1251
00:45:42.375 --> 00:45:43.667
is lots of drugs.

1252
00:45:43.667 --> 00:45:45.583
- Yes! This shit's gonna put you at ease.

1253
00:45:45.583 --> 00:45:47.875
- Suck it down pipe.
- You keep saying that, Pompano Mike.

1254
00:45:47.875 --> 00:45:49.083
I just don't know what it means.

1255
00:45:49.083 --> 00:45:50.375
- Okay, I'll spell it out for you.

1256
00:45:50.375 --> 00:45:52.708
Here are the ABCs
of suckin' it down pipe!

1257
00:45:52.708 --> 00:45:55.417
Okay. You puff it in
all the way down to your lungs.

1258
00:45:55.417 --> 00:45:57.708
Let it marinate there
and then you release it.

1259
00:45:57.708 --> 00:45:59.750
You know, like a fart
during a family movie night,

1260
00:45:59.750 --> 00:46:01.667
I don't know, whatever you guys
wanted to watch!

1261
00:46:02.333 --> 00:46:06.583
♪ hip-hop music playing ♪

1262
00:46:06.583 --> 00:46:10.000
[laughing]

1263
00:46:10.000 --> 00:46:11.583
- Yeah!

1264
00:46:11.583 --> 00:46:13.583
- There you go.
- Oh, Griffin.

1265
00:46:13.583 --> 00:46:14.375
- Suck it down pipe.

1266
00:46:14.375 --> 00:46:15.958
- Oh, "Gristen," I like you.

1267
00:46:15.958 --> 00:46:17.083
You got kids, Gristen?

1268
00:46:17.875 --> 00:46:19.208
- My name's not Gristen.

1269
00:46:19.208 --> 00:46:20.833
- No one's name is Gristen.

1270
00:46:20.833 --> 00:46:21.708
- Gristen.

1271
00:46:21.708 --> 00:46:23.375
[all laughing]

1272
00:46:24.083 --> 00:46:26.083
Uh, Gristen, can't make kids!

1273
00:46:26.792 --> 00:46:27.750
GRIFFIN/HAGS: What?

1274
00:46:28.333 --> 00:46:30.583
[dog barking in distance]

1275
00:46:31.250 --> 00:46:32.583
[knocking on door]

1276
00:46:34.542 --> 00:46:35.875
- Took you long enough.

1277
00:46:35.875 --> 00:46:37.292
- Rumor has it that the girls are here?

1278
00:46:37.292 --> 00:46:38.083
- And waiting.

1279
00:46:38.083 --> 00:46:39.375
- Thank goodness.

1280
00:46:39.375 --> 00:46:42.250
TRACY: Prepare to get
your brushes wet, ladies!

1281
00:46:42.250 --> 00:46:45.083
[indiscernible chatter]

1282
00:46:46.083 --> 00:46:48.542
Keep going. Over here. Yes.

1283
00:46:48.542 --> 00:46:49.958
Right by those strawberries.

1284
00:46:49.958 --> 00:46:51.417
Have a seat.
- Okay.

1285
00:46:51.417 --> 00:46:55.042
- Whoa. I hope
the carpet matches the drapes.

1286
00:46:55.375 --> 00:46:58.250
- This, uh, is a little bit more
of an adult party than I--

1287
00:46:58.833 --> 00:47:00.583
- Yeah and you're still wearing
your pants.

1288
00:47:00.583 --> 00:47:01.333
[women giggling]

1289
00:47:02.167 --> 00:47:03.750
CARLSEN: Actually, though, um,

1290
00:47:03.750 --> 00:47:06.917
I'm, I'm here for my daughter,
Lena Carlsen.

1291
00:47:06.917 --> 00:47:07.792
Is she at the party?

1292
00:47:07.792 --> 00:47:09.375
- Oh, there's a party.

1293
00:47:09.375 --> 00:47:10.542
In my pants.

1294
00:47:10.542 --> 00:47:12.375
[women laughing]
- Oh.

1295
00:47:13.208 --> 00:47:15.500
Listen, ladies, I'm actually
Principal Carlsen.

1296
00:47:15.500 --> 00:47:17.792
I'm from the high school.
- Good morning, Principal Carlsen.

1297
00:47:18.625 --> 00:47:20.708
- And, um, you know, I don't have
a problem with Binge-ing,

1298
00:47:20.708 --> 00:47:21.917
obviously for you adults.

1299
00:47:21.917 --> 00:47:23.208
You ladies have-- Lot of--

1300
00:47:23.208 --> 00:47:26.292
Lot of you, uh, all girl group
have gotten together to Binge tonight,

1301
00:47:26.292 --> 00:47:28.042
which seems fine to me.

1302
00:47:28.042 --> 00:47:30.708
I do have a problem though,
uh, with my daughter,

1303
00:47:30.708 --> 00:47:33.125
and I think she might be
out here Binge-ing.

1304
00:47:33.750 --> 00:47:35.042
- Who hired this guy?

1305
00:47:35.042 --> 00:47:37.292
- Dina did.
- Just go with it.

1306
00:47:37.292 --> 00:47:41.333
Principal... can you give us detention?

1307
00:47:41.333 --> 00:47:43.125
- Um, sure.

1308
00:47:43.542 --> 00:47:45.625
Uh, detentions, detentions,
detentions, detentions.

1309
00:47:45.625 --> 00:47:47.292
WOMAN: Whoo-hoo!
[laughter]

1310
00:47:47.833 --> 00:47:49.000
- I'll see all of you after school.

1311
00:47:50.000 --> 00:47:51.625
But I think on a serious note,

1312
00:47:51.625 --> 00:47:54.542
we all realize that
with the kids out there drinking

1313
00:47:54.542 --> 00:47:56.333
and doing the things
that they could be doing tonight,

1314
00:47:56.333 --> 00:47:58.333
things could get far worse
than a detention, yeah?

1315
00:47:58.333 --> 00:48:00.458
- Yeah, I'm just not vibing
with a Principal.

1316
00:48:00.458 --> 00:48:01.250
- But I'm the Principal.

1317
00:48:01.667 --> 00:48:03.083
I'm the Principal of the school.
I'm Principal Carlsen.

1318
00:48:03.083 --> 00:48:04.500
- Okay, I'm the volleyball player.

1319
00:48:04.500 --> 00:48:05.375
[woman giggling]

1320
00:48:05.375 --> 00:48:06.375
- No, I understand that.

1321
00:48:06.375 --> 00:48:08.750
No, guys, I'm, I'm the Principal.
I really am. I'm Principal Carlsen.

1322
00:48:08.750 --> 00:48:10.958
- I'm not feeling it. I don't-- Is it me?

1323
00:48:10.958 --> 00:48:13.167
[women muttering]
- Ladies, you're not gonna get me
off the scent here.

1324
00:48:13.917 --> 00:48:14.917
I don't know where you're hiding the kids.

1325
00:48:14.917 --> 00:48:16.458
If they're upstairs?
If they're downstairs?

1326
00:48:16.458 --> 00:48:17.833
I'm gonna find them, okay.

1327
00:48:17.833 --> 00:48:19.250
So I'm asking you nicely.

1328
00:48:19.250 --> 00:48:20.417
- Oh.
- Right?

1329
00:48:20.417 --> 00:48:23.292
Stop playing around with me
and tell me where the kids are,

1330
00:48:23.292 --> 00:48:25.333
or I can make it pretty uncomfortable
here in town.

1331
00:48:25.333 --> 00:48:26.875
I'm also a city councilman.

1332
00:48:27.292 --> 00:48:30.583
I can find out if the property taxes
to this house is paid up or not.

1333
00:48:30.583 --> 00:48:32.333
I can have a detective follow you
and find out

1334
00:48:32.333 --> 00:48:34.667
who each and every one
of you girls is fucking,

1335
00:48:34.667 --> 00:48:36.375
and I'll turn some families upside down.

1336
00:48:36.667 --> 00:48:39.125
So, I'm gonna ask it one more time
before things start to turn

1337
00:48:39.125 --> 00:48:40.792
just a little bit uncomfortable.

1338
00:48:40.792 --> 00:48:41.875
Ready?

1339
00:48:41.875 --> 00:48:45.458
Where... is... my... daughter?

1340
00:48:46.958 --> 00:48:50.042
- Yeah, see, now I love the passion
and you're really going for it,

1341
00:48:50.042 --> 00:48:51.333
but it's too dark now.

1342
00:48:51.333 --> 00:48:52.958
It's too dark. Bring it back.

1343
00:48:52.958 --> 00:48:54.167
Maybe back to Principal.

1344
00:48:54.500 --> 00:48:56.042
- What are you talking about?

1345
00:48:56.667 --> 00:48:58.667
- We really appreciate
your commitment to the part,

1346
00:48:58.667 --> 00:49:01.292
but we just wanna see a big swinging dick.

1347
00:49:01.292 --> 00:49:02.458
WOMAN: Just show us your dick.

1348
00:49:02.458 --> 00:49:06.208
ALL: [chanting]
Show your dick and balls!
Show your dick and balls!

1349
00:49:06.208 --> 00:49:08.083
Show your dick and balls!

1350
00:49:08.083 --> 00:49:10.792
Show your dick and balls!
- Oh, you guys are here to paint somebody.

1351
00:49:10.792 --> 00:49:11.833
I got it.
- Yes, yes.

1352
00:49:11.833 --> 00:49:13.250
- Look, maybe we can do a little painting,

1353
00:49:13.250 --> 00:49:14.875
and then maybe I can ask
you girls some questions.

1354
00:49:14.875 --> 00:49:16.542
Fair?
[women laughing]

1355
00:49:16.542 --> 00:49:17.792
Give me a minute. Give me a robe

1356
00:49:17.792 --> 00:49:19.875
and we'll see if we can't, uh, create

1357
00:49:19.875 --> 00:49:21.208
some magic alone tonight, okay.

1358
00:49:21.208 --> 00:49:22.042
- Ooh, I like that.

1359
00:49:22.042 --> 00:49:23.208
- I like all of you guys.
I'm proud of you.

1360
00:49:23.208 --> 00:49:25.208
Guess what? Guess what?
Guess what? Guess what? Guess what?

1361
00:49:25.208 --> 00:49:26.500
WOMAN: What?
- You're all under detention!

1362
00:49:26.500 --> 00:49:29.583
[cheering and clapping]

1363
00:49:29.583 --> 00:49:31.875
[laughter]

1364
00:49:33.875 --> 00:49:35.292
- Guys, I think I love weed.

1365
00:49:35.292 --> 00:49:36.875
- Griffin loves weed!

1366
00:49:36.875 --> 00:49:39.833
- The only thing is
it's not just weed. It's Zoom, so--

1367
00:49:40.708 --> 00:49:42.292
- What?
- A little "Super Grass."

1368
00:49:42.292 --> 00:49:43.042
- Uh-huh?

1369
00:49:43.042 --> 00:49:44.083
- "Baby's Breath."
- What?

1370
00:49:44.083 --> 00:49:46.167
"Fry," "Ozark," "Alabaster Arrow,"

1371
00:49:46.167 --> 00:49:48.583
"Dirty Rubix Cube," "Disco Dave," "Spork!"

1372
00:49:48.583 --> 00:49:51.292
- I have no clue
what you're talking about.

1373
00:49:51.292 --> 00:49:53.292
- It's just your plain Jane
"Rainy Day Woman"

1374
00:49:53.292 --> 00:49:54.917
mixed with a little chunk of PCP.

1375
00:49:55.958 --> 00:49:57.708
- PCP?
POMPANO MIKE: Yeah, PCP.

1376
00:49:58.167 --> 00:50:00.292
"Dragon's Breath," "Cheese Tacos,"

1377
00:50:00.292 --> 00:50:02.208
"Chicken Tamales," "Hip Hip Hooray,"

1378
00:50:02.208 --> 00:50:03.250
"Monkey Punch,"

1379
00:50:03.250 --> 00:50:05.542
"Oral Fire Traffic,"
"Crunch Wrap Supreme,"

1380
00:50:05.542 --> 00:50:07.000
"Deuces Wild," "Pirate's Booty,"

1381
00:50:07.000 --> 00:50:09.083
"Toledo," "Nuts-A-Bunch"
"Los Lonely Boy"

1382
00:50:09.083 --> 00:50:10.000
"Diagon Alley,"

1383
00:50:10.000 --> 00:50:12.083
"Road to Terabithia,"
"Nugget Rush."

1384
00:50:12.083 --> 00:50:15.000
[indiscernible babbling]

1385
00:50:17.500 --> 00:50:18.667
[growling]

1386
00:50:18.667 --> 00:50:19.542
ANDREW: Fucking shit!

1387
00:50:19.542 --> 00:50:20.750
[Hags screaming]
ANDREW: Whoa!

1388
00:50:21.458 --> 00:50:23.625
CARLSEN: Years from now,
when you talk about this,

1389
00:50:23.625 --> 00:50:24.625
and you will,

1390
00:50:25.167 --> 00:50:25.792
be kind.

1391
00:50:25.792 --> 00:50:30.417
- Oh, and before you go,
here's a little gift
from your favorite students.

1392
00:50:30.417 --> 00:50:31.292
WOMAN: Aww!

1393
00:50:31.292 --> 00:50:34.375
- You ladies are so sweet but, honestly,
my time with you was gift enough.

1394
00:50:34.375 --> 00:50:35.167
So thank you.

1395
00:50:35.167 --> 00:50:37.000
- Oh, trust me,
you're gonna want this one.

1396
00:50:37.000 --> 00:50:38.042
[whispering]
It's drugs.

1397
00:50:38.042 --> 00:50:40.625
- Okay. Well, thank you so much.
Appreciate you guys.

1398
00:50:40.625 --> 00:50:41.667
WOMAN: Okay.

1399
00:50:41.667 --> 00:50:42.417
CARLSEN: Oh!

1400
00:50:42.417 --> 00:50:43.833
[giggling]

1401
00:50:43.833 --> 00:50:44.333
- Great night.

1402
00:50:44.333 --> 00:50:45.542
- Okay, take care.

1403
00:50:45.542 --> 00:50:46.583
[door closes]

1404
00:50:46.583 --> 00:50:47.875
[squealing]

1405
00:50:47.875 --> 00:50:49.500
This was so fun!

1406
00:50:56.375 --> 00:51:01.333
♪ rock music playing ♪

1407
00:51:01.333 --> 00:51:06.083
♪

1408
00:51:18.208 --> 00:51:19.542
- Come back here, we're bored.

1409
00:51:19.875 --> 00:51:21.708
- What?
- Not you. Pompano.

1410
00:51:21.708 --> 00:51:24.083
SARAH: We need
some caveman nuts back here.

1411
00:51:24.083 --> 00:51:25.292
- One of the downfalls of the job.

1412
00:51:25.292 --> 00:51:26.500
Take the wheel, Jesus.

1413
00:51:26.500 --> 00:51:29.083
HAGS: No, wait. Sure you don't want
two people?

1414
00:51:29.083 --> 00:51:31.792
[indiscernible chatter]

1415
00:51:32.125 --> 00:51:33.333
Ah, fuck!

1416
00:51:33.750 --> 00:51:35.708
Goddamn.

1417
00:51:35.708 --> 00:51:37.958
GIRL: Hi, handsome.
POMPANO MIKE: Hey, ladies, what's up?

1418
00:51:39.250 --> 00:51:40.917
GIRL: You're so fucking silly.

1419
00:51:41.625 --> 00:51:42.875
GRIFFIN: This is bad, man.

1420
00:51:42.875 --> 00:51:44.500
She's not trying to figure out
a witty response.

1421
00:51:44.500 --> 00:51:46.667
She's trying to figure out how to tell me
never to talk to her again.

1422
00:51:46.667 --> 00:51:48.333
- All right, man, wait.
Take it easy, okay.

1423
00:51:48.333 --> 00:51:50.250
That's-- that's--
that's the paranoia kicking in.

1424
00:51:50.250 --> 00:51:52.833
Send her a text message
with a heart emoji and you're in.

1425
00:51:52.833 --> 00:51:54.375
- I can't text a promposal,

1426
00:51:54.375 --> 00:51:56.333
especially after the whole
auto-correct debacle.

1427
00:51:56.333 --> 00:51:58.833
- If you don't wanna text her, then just
pick up the phone and call.

1428
00:51:58.833 --> 00:52:00.292
- That's what I'm gonna do.
That's what I gotta do.
- Man, pick up the phone and call her.

1429
00:52:00.292 --> 00:52:01.042
[line ringing]

1430
00:52:01.042 --> 00:52:03.250
- Okay, here we go, here we go.
It's ringing, it's ringing.

1431
00:52:03.250 --> 00:52:05.083
<i>- Griff, something you wanna say?</i>

1432
00:52:05.083 --> 00:52:07.042
- Yeah, that's actually why I was calling.

1433
00:52:07.042 --> 00:52:08.875
<i>- You think you can just say</i>
<i>whatever you want over text</i>

1434
00:52:08.875 --> 00:52:10.125
<i>because we're not face to face?</i>

1435
00:52:10.125 --> 00:52:12.583
- It was just an auto-correct.
I would never-- I would never have ty--

1436
00:52:12.583 --> 00:52:13.833
I would never get you pregnant.

1437
00:52:14.458 --> 00:52:16.667
<i>- I know. I'm just kidding with you.</i>

1438
00:52:16.667 --> 00:52:19.292
<i>I thought it'd be funny to not respond,</i>
<i>you know, make you wonder.</i>

1439
00:52:20.000 --> 00:52:21.792
- Okay. That's funny.

1440
00:52:21.792 --> 00:52:23.208
You've-- That's very funny.

1441
00:52:23.208 --> 00:52:24.667
LENA: <i>Yeah, I bet</i>
<i>I made you nervous there, huh?</i>

1442
00:52:24.667 --> 00:52:27.250
- No, I don't, I don't get
too nervous in general so--

1443
00:52:27.250 --> 00:52:29.292
- Man, get to the point.
Just ask the question.

1444
00:52:29.875 --> 00:52:32.625
- Hey, so it's been
a pretty wild night so far.

1445
00:52:32.625 --> 00:52:34.542
This isn't how
I was planning on doing it but I,

1446
00:52:34.542 --> 00:52:35.958
I didn't get a chance to earlier
[engine revving]

1447
00:52:35.958 --> 00:52:37.583
because of the confetti at the lockers,

1448
00:52:37.583 --> 00:52:39.625
but I was just wondering
if no one else has asked--

1449
00:52:39.625 --> 00:52:40.917
[Hags screaming]
You bitch!

1450
00:52:40.917 --> 00:52:41.750
<i>- What?</i>

1451
00:52:41.750 --> 00:52:44.167
[girls screaming]
HAGS: Oh, what the fuck?

1452
00:52:44.167 --> 00:52:44.792
[horn blaring]
- Is he dead?

1453
00:52:44.792 --> 00:52:46.042
- Andrew!

1454
00:52:46.042 --> 00:52:47.750
- Watch the fucking road!
[screaming]

1455
00:52:47.750 --> 00:52:49.083
[tires screeching]
HAGS: Holy shit!

1456
00:52:49.083 --> 00:52:49.917
[screaming]

1457
00:52:53.208 --> 00:52:54.542
- Put his foot on the brake!

1458
00:52:54.542 --> 00:52:56.583
[tires screeching]

1459
00:52:56.583 --> 00:52:58.125
- <i>Pulp Fiction</i> him, Griffin!
- We're gonna <i>Pulp Fiction</i> him!

1460
00:52:58.125 --> 00:52:59.208
That's what we're gonna do.

1461
00:52:59.208 --> 00:53:01.625
[horn blaring]

1462
00:53:01.625 --> 00:53:03.625
- We're gonna die!
- We're gonna <i>Pulp Fiction</i> him.

1463
00:53:03.625 --> 00:53:06.292
[all screaming]

1464
00:53:07.958 --> 00:53:10.333
[tires screeching, horn blaring]

1465
00:53:14.125 --> 00:53:15.458
- Oh, you're okay.

1466
00:53:15.458 --> 00:53:16.333
[cow moos, limo thuds]

1467
00:53:16.708 --> 00:53:18.292
[grunts, tires screeching]

1468
00:53:21.083 --> 00:53:23.958
[all groaning]
GIRL: Goddammit!

1469
00:53:23.958 --> 00:53:25.417
[steam hissing]

1470
00:53:25.417 --> 00:53:27.958
ANDREW: What was that?
HAGS: Oh my god.

1471
00:53:27.958 --> 00:53:28.833
You okay?

1472
00:53:28.833 --> 00:53:30.292
GIRL: Open this door?
HAGS: Griff, you all right?

1473
00:53:30.292 --> 00:53:33.000
[girls shouting, indiscernible]

1474
00:53:33.917 --> 00:53:35.542
GIRL: Come on! Get out, guys!

1475
00:53:36.583 --> 00:53:37.167
- Ow!

1476
00:53:41.250 --> 00:53:42.083
All right.

1477
00:53:46.583 --> 00:53:47.958
- Oh no.

1478
00:53:47.958 --> 00:53:49.542
Oh no, no, no, no, no.

1479
00:53:49.542 --> 00:53:51.250
What-- What have we--
What have we done?

1480
00:53:51.250 --> 00:53:52.083
GRIFFIN: Did we just kill an innocent cow?

1481
00:53:52.083 --> 00:53:54.417
- We are not bad people, Lord,
we just made a mistake.

1482
00:53:54.417 --> 00:53:56.375
- Hags, what the hell?

1483
00:53:56.375 --> 00:53:58.167
- The driver drugged Andrew.
POMPANO MIKE: No, I didn't!

1484
00:53:58.167 --> 00:53:59.250
I didn't do anything.

1485
00:53:59.250 --> 00:54:01.042
- Did you guys kill a cow?

1486
00:54:01.042 --> 00:54:02.750
SARAH: Fix that cow.

1487
00:54:02.750 --> 00:54:03.958
HAGS: Wait, what about the drugs?

1488
00:54:03.958 --> 00:54:06.833
- No! No more drugs for us tonight!

1489
00:54:06.833 --> 00:54:09.250
- I'm... I'm with Griffin
on this one, Hags.

1490
00:54:09.958 --> 00:54:10.958
HAGS: Not for us.

1491
00:54:12.417 --> 00:54:13.958
- What?
- What?

1492
00:54:13.958 --> 00:54:15.125
- Come on, Bessie.

1493
00:54:15.125 --> 00:54:17.875
- You guys are fucking idiots.

1494
00:54:17.875 --> 00:54:18.833
- We know!

1495
00:54:18.833 --> 00:54:19.875
- We're trying!

1496
00:54:19.875 --> 00:54:22.208
I'm gonna put some cocaine in his eye.
- Fix the cow!

1497
00:54:22.208 --> 00:54:25.000
- Everybody, please stop yelling.

1498
00:54:25.000 --> 00:54:26.917
Okay, that worked. Give me something else.

1499
00:54:26.917 --> 00:54:28.167
- Wake that cow up! Fix it!

1500
00:54:28.167 --> 00:54:28.792
HAGS: Come on, Bessie.

1501
00:54:28.792 --> 00:54:30.250
- I'm pretty sure Lena thinks
I called her a bitch.

1502
00:54:30.250 --> 00:54:31.083
- Live, cow!

1503
00:54:31.083 --> 00:54:32.542
- Why won't he live?

1504
00:54:32.542 --> 00:54:34.667
HAGS: We gotta give her more drugs.
[Andrew grunting]

1505
00:54:34.667 --> 00:54:35.875
- Come on, guys! Don't let her die.

1506
00:54:35.875 --> 00:54:38.458
- You shut the fuck up, Pompano! We know!

1507
00:54:38.458 --> 00:54:39.667
- I'm gonna <i>Pulp Fiction</i> the cow.

1508
00:54:41.458 --> 00:54:42.250
[bellows]

1509
00:54:45.208 --> 00:54:46.375
[heaving]
- Ew!

1510
00:54:47.583 --> 00:54:48.667
[cow moos]
- Ow!

1511
00:54:49.583 --> 00:54:51.292
- You okay?
- It's alive!

1512
00:54:51.292 --> 00:54:52.750
GIRL: Oh my god, it's alive!

1513
00:54:55.083 --> 00:54:56.042
- It's alive!

1514
00:54:56.042 --> 00:54:57.000
GIRL: Oh my god!

1515
00:54:58.042 --> 00:54:59.375
HAGS: Hey, cow!
ANDREW: Yes!

1516
00:54:59.375 --> 00:55:01.250
[moos]
GIRL: Come on, girl.

1517
00:55:01.250 --> 00:55:02.458
[indiscernible chatter]

1518
00:55:02.458 --> 00:55:03.542
- It's a miracle.

1519
00:55:04.375 --> 00:55:06.375
- She's even better
than she was before!

1520
00:55:08.792 --> 00:55:10.250
[moos]
[tires screeching]

1521
00:55:10.250 --> 00:55:10.958
[gasps]

1522
00:55:10.958 --> 00:55:13.083
- Oh! Oh god!

1523
00:55:13.375 --> 00:55:14.292
GIRL: I'm gonna throw up.

1524
00:55:14.292 --> 00:55:16.500
SARAH: You guys are poison.
- Fuck you, cow killers.

1525
00:55:17.333 --> 00:55:19.792
[girls continues talking, indiscernible]

1526
00:55:19.792 --> 00:55:21.333
GIRL: You ruined our perfect night.

1527
00:55:21.333 --> 00:55:23.417
This is why nobody fucks with you.

1528
00:55:23.417 --> 00:55:25.542
[crying]
You're always gonna be virgins!

1529
00:55:27.583 --> 00:55:29.458
- Oh no!

1530
00:55:34.333 --> 00:55:35.708
GIRL 1: I can get some more--

1531
00:55:36.292 --> 00:55:38.167
BOY: Holy shit!

1532
00:55:38.167 --> 00:55:40.000
Is that Principal Carlsen?

1533
00:55:41.000 --> 00:55:42.000
- Hey, guys.

1534
00:55:44.167 --> 00:55:45.625
Hey, Tyler. How are you fellas?
TYLER: Hi.

1535
00:55:46.417 --> 00:55:49.875
- Just curious,
do you guys know any of the,
uh, parties that are happening tonight?

1536
00:55:49.875 --> 00:55:51.875
- Tonight? I haven't heard anything.

1537
00:55:51.875 --> 00:55:53.292
- No? No idea.
- No.

1538
00:55:54.292 --> 00:55:55.167
- Oh!
[gagging]

1539
00:55:55.167 --> 00:55:56.083
[all gasp]

1540
00:55:56.583 --> 00:55:59.250
- Do you think because I participate
in Wacky Wednesdays

1541
00:55:59.250 --> 00:56:00.792
I can't get a little crazy, huh?

1542
00:56:00.792 --> 00:56:04.000
Just because I participate
in Wacky Wednesdays

1543
00:56:04.000 --> 00:56:06.583
doesn't mean I can't change
the course of your life!

1544
00:56:06.583 --> 00:56:08.417
Does that make sense, you stupid ass?

1545
00:56:08.417 --> 00:56:11.042
- Look, most people are going
to Carnegie Library.

1546
00:56:11.333 --> 00:56:11.917
All right?

1547
00:56:12.708 --> 00:56:14.000
- Smart.

1548
00:56:14.458 --> 00:56:15.625
Hiding in plain sight.

1549
00:56:16.292 --> 00:56:18.500
Come on, big guy. That wasn't so bad.

1550
00:56:19.000 --> 00:56:21.500
Proud of the way you've conducted yourself
on and off the field.

1551
00:56:22.208 --> 00:56:23.458
Whoa, whoa, whoa!

1552
00:56:24.167 --> 00:56:27.167
What's this? You guys gettin'
into some slamballs?

1553
00:56:27.625 --> 00:56:29.542
Run your pockets.
- What's a slamball?

1554
00:56:30.375 --> 00:56:31.625
- This is how it starts.

1555
00:56:32.083 --> 00:56:33.125
Little sip of wine,

1556
00:56:33.417 --> 00:56:34.500
some slamballs,

1557
00:56:34.958 --> 00:56:36.208
and then you leave your family

1558
00:56:36.667 --> 00:56:38.750
for an ATV instructor named Gabriel.

1559
00:56:39.208 --> 00:56:40.875
And then you stop being a mom

1560
00:56:41.333 --> 00:56:43.000
and participating in the family

1561
00:56:43.500 --> 00:56:46.625
because you're so ashamed
from a life of porn,

1562
00:56:46.625 --> 00:56:48.458
you can't look your daughter
in the eye anymore.

1563
00:56:48.458 --> 00:56:50.458
And guess who gets stuck holding the bag?

1564
00:56:50.458 --> 00:56:51.375
Dear old dad.

1565
00:56:52.292 --> 00:56:53.500
Is that gonna be you?

1566
00:56:54.417 --> 00:56:55.708
Are you gonna be a mom

1567
00:56:56.833 --> 00:56:58.083
that leaves her family?

1568
00:57:04.625 --> 00:57:06.000
Let me ask you a question, big boy.

1569
00:57:06.833 --> 00:57:07.542
Look at me.

1570
00:57:08.208 --> 00:57:09.792
Are you a mom that could walk out
on her family?

1571
00:57:09.792 --> 00:57:10.958
- No. No, sir.

1572
00:57:12.333 --> 00:57:15.417
- Are you a mom that could walk out
on his family?

1573
00:57:15.417 --> 00:57:16.625
- I would never leave you.

1574
00:57:16.625 --> 00:57:18.667
- The fuck makes you think
I'm talking about me?

1575
00:57:18.667 --> 00:57:20.167
- I thought we were just role-playing.

1576
00:57:20.750 --> 00:57:21.708
I know it wasn't you.

1577
00:57:21.708 --> 00:57:24.333
If I was a mother,
I would never leave my family.

1578
00:57:24.333 --> 00:57:27.792
That's all I know. Here,
these are, these are all my drugs.

1579
00:57:27.792 --> 00:57:30.000
I'm sorry I lied to you,
Principal Carlsen.

1580
00:57:31.750 --> 00:57:33.417
- Why didn't we just start here

1581
00:57:33.417 --> 00:57:36.125
and skip all the hitting
in the throat stuff, huh?
[chuckles]

1582
00:57:36.875 --> 00:57:38.750
You guys have a great night, okay.

1583
00:57:39.667 --> 00:57:41.083
You know what, we'll do better next time.

1584
00:57:43.125 --> 00:57:44.000
Oh.

1585
00:57:44.625 --> 00:57:46.458
And if anybody asks you guys,

1586
00:57:47.250 --> 00:57:49.000
just let 'em know
that the Panther sent you.

1587
00:57:49.667 --> 00:57:52.083
[all gasp]
GIRL: Oh!

1588
00:57:52.833 --> 00:57:56.000
SPENCER: Who's the panther?
Where's he supposed to send us?

1589
00:57:56.000 --> 00:57:58.000
GIRL 1: Oh shit!
GIRL 2: Did you see that?

1590
00:58:00.000 --> 00:58:03.042
[horn honking]

1591
00:58:03.583 --> 00:58:07.000
- We have just experienced
a serious trauma, people.

1592
00:58:07.625 --> 00:58:10.250
Hey, why won't anybody pick us up?
MAN: ...dickless!

1593
00:58:10.250 --> 00:58:14.000
- Uber says it's gonna take two hours
and it's surging 350.

1594
00:58:14.000 --> 00:58:15.292
BECKY: [on phone] <i>This night slaps.</i>

1595
00:58:15.292 --> 00:58:16.875
LENA: <i>Best night ever.</i>

1596
00:58:16.875 --> 00:58:18.833
HAGS: Griff, you good?

1597
00:58:19.542 --> 00:58:20.500
- Mark fucking Maynard.

1598
00:58:20.500 --> 00:58:21.833
<i>- This night slaps!</i>

1599
00:58:21.833 --> 00:58:24.125
<i>- Night of our lives!</i>
<i>- Whoo!</i>

1600
00:58:24.125 --> 00:58:25.167
GRIFFIN: Who else could it be?

1601
00:58:25.167 --> 00:58:27.917
HAGS: Listen, man,
Mark did not ask her to prom,

1602
00:58:27.917 --> 00:58:29.042
I know that for a fact.

1603
00:58:29.917 --> 00:58:34.542
Look, we cannot give up now.
We are 6.8 miles away from that party.

1604
00:58:35.292 --> 00:58:37.458
And then when Lena sees you,
there's no way she can say no to you.

1605
00:58:37.458 --> 00:58:39.083
- Well, what would that
even look like, man?

1606
00:58:39.083 --> 00:58:40.417
"Hey, Lena, it's me.

1607
00:58:40.417 --> 00:58:42.208
"I'm really sorry for calling you
a bitch earlier.

1608
00:58:42.208 --> 00:58:44.792
"It's probably because I was high
off my ass on PCP.

1609
00:58:44.792 --> 00:58:46.750
"I almost just died
after crashing into a cow

1610
00:58:46.750 --> 00:58:49.208
"and they got absolutely fucking
demolished by an 18 wheeler

1611
00:58:49.208 --> 00:58:52.000
"and as I'm sure you've noticed by now,
I'm missing an entire fucking eyebrow.

1612
00:58:52.000 --> 00:58:52.958
"But hey, don't worry about it.

1613
00:58:52.958 --> 00:58:54.708
"It'll probably grow back
in six to twelve months.

1614
00:58:54.708 --> 00:58:55.792
You wanna go to prom?"

1615
00:58:57.000 --> 00:58:58.625
- Hey, you sold me.
- I'd say yes.

1616
00:58:58.625 --> 00:58:59.458
- Mm-hmm.

1617
00:59:01.458 --> 00:59:02.250
[mini-crossbow whooshes]

1618
00:59:02.250 --> 00:59:03.833
- Ow! What the shit?
ANDREW: Griffin.

1619
00:59:04.208 --> 00:59:05.542
- Oh, something's in my ass.
- What?

1620
00:59:05.542 --> 00:59:06.917
- My entire ass is on fire!

1621
00:59:06.917 --> 00:59:08.292
Oh, that hurts--
SEB: Hey!

1622
00:59:08.792 --> 00:59:12.083
Hey, lookie-lookie.

1623
00:59:12.083 --> 00:59:12.542
- Big bro.

1624
00:59:13.167 --> 00:59:15.333
My good friend here,
he wanted to ask his girlfriend to--

1625
00:59:15.333 --> 00:59:16.083
[mini-crossbow whooshes]

1626
00:59:17.042 --> 00:59:18.958
HAGS: Andrew? Andrew!

1627
00:59:20.625 --> 00:59:22.583
[Andrew screaming]
Oh no!

1628
00:59:23.000 --> 00:59:24.292
- Get 'em in the truck.
[Hags screaming]

1629
00:59:24.292 --> 00:59:25.375
[all screaming]

1630
00:59:26.917 --> 00:59:28.500
[Andrew screaming]

1631
00:59:30.208 --> 00:59:33.333
[indiscernible chatter]

1632
00:59:33.333 --> 00:59:35.875
GIRL: Will I be able to drive
if I eat two Binge-A-Ritos?

1633
00:59:35.875 --> 00:59:37.167
MAN: I would not recommend it.

1634
00:59:39.750 --> 00:59:40.417
[pop]

1635
00:59:41.042 --> 00:59:42.417
[girl laughs]

1636
00:59:42.417 --> 00:59:43.958
GIRL: You're so stupid.

1637
00:59:44.250 --> 00:59:45.250
Binge-A-Ritos.

1638
00:59:45.250 --> 00:59:46.667
Six for 12 bucks.

1639
00:59:47.125 --> 00:59:50.333
Meat, cheese, romaine lettuce,
and magic mushrooms.

1640
00:59:52.417 --> 00:59:53.500
- Magic mushrooms?

1641
00:59:53.500 --> 00:59:55.083
<i>- Bon appetit!</i>

1642
00:59:55.083 --> 00:59:56.542
- Yes, sir. Thank you, sir.

1643
00:59:56.542 --> 00:59:58.125
- You're going on a little trip.

1644
00:59:58.625 --> 01:00:01.000
- They're probably only dusted
with magic mushrooms.

1645
01:00:01.000 --> 01:00:03.708
I doubt that the Wall of Tacos
would risk their impeccable reputation

1646
01:00:03.708 --> 01:00:04.792
by poisoning people.

1647
01:00:04.792 --> 01:00:05.958
♪ Marcus' <i>Grains of Sand</i> playing ♪

1648
01:00:05.958 --> 01:00:10.417
<i>- ♪ Your eyes so soft and blue</i>
<i>that I once knew ♪</i>

1649
01:00:10.417 --> 01:00:15.375
<i>♪ Like a dazzling light</i>
<i>within a pool of liquid night ♪</i>

1650
01:00:17.000 --> 01:00:19.958
<i>♪ But when I reach for you,</i>
<i>you disappear ♪</i>

1651
01:00:19.958 --> 01:00:20.917
[crowd cheering]

1652
01:00:20.917 --> 01:00:23.625
<i>♪ Then reappear through shades of blue ♪</i>

1653
01:00:23.917 --> 01:00:27.708
<i>♪ I follow you till you're out of sight ♪</i>

1654
01:00:28.417 --> 01:00:29.667
MAN: Whoo!

1655
01:00:29.667 --> 01:00:33.417
Twenty-nine Binge-A-Ritos!
They broke the fucking record!

1656
01:00:33.417 --> 01:00:34.500
[crowd cheering]
BOY 1: Oh shit.

1657
01:00:34.500 --> 01:00:35.583
BOY 2: Yeah!

1658
01:00:35.583 --> 01:00:38.292
- I really don't think we should be doing
this many drugs.

1659
01:00:38.292 --> 01:00:40.417
- [mockingly] <i>"I don't think</i>
<i>we should be doing anymore drugs."</i>

1660
01:00:40.833 --> 01:00:41.625
[normal voice]: That's you!

1661
01:00:41.625 --> 01:00:45.417
- Seb, please, just let us go.
- [mockingly]:
<i>"Seb, please, just let us go."</i>

1662
01:00:46.292 --> 01:00:49.208
[normal voice]: That's also you,
you fucking piece of shit.

1663
01:00:49.542 --> 01:00:52.042
- Do you have any idea how long
we've been training for this Gauntlet?

1664
01:00:52.042 --> 01:00:55.458
- Okay. No, that's it. I'm done.
I gotta go to the bathroom.

1665
01:00:56.125 --> 01:00:57.083
Oh!

1666
01:00:57.083 --> 01:00:58.875
Hey, he's still back there.

1667
01:00:58.875 --> 01:01:01.458
- Now it's payback time.
GRIFFIN: Now it's payback time?

1668
01:01:01.458 --> 01:01:03.167
What have we been doing here
the whole fucking time?

1669
01:01:03.167 --> 01:01:03.958
- Preparing.

1670
01:01:03.958 --> 01:01:05.208
- Preparing for what?

1671
01:01:05.208 --> 01:01:07.042
- The Siamese Tootsie Roll.

1672
01:01:07.042 --> 01:01:09.000
[stomach rumbling]

1673
01:01:09.000 --> 01:01:10.625
- Is that a dessert here?

1674
01:01:11.583 --> 01:01:12.792
[airhorn blares]

1675
01:01:12.792 --> 01:01:15.375
♪ club music playing ♪

1676
01:01:18.250 --> 01:01:20.458
- Hey, Becky. Becky?

1677
01:01:20.875 --> 01:01:23.208
- What?
- I'm just gonna go home.

1678
01:01:23.208 --> 01:01:24.542
- No, no, no! You can't leave now.

1679
01:01:24.542 --> 01:01:26.625
- Yeah, I just need this
to charge a little more,

1680
01:01:26.625 --> 01:01:27.792
and then I'm gonna call an Uber.
- No, you can't--

1681
01:01:27.792 --> 01:01:28.958
No, you can't leave now. No.

1682
01:01:28.958 --> 01:01:30.958
He wouldn't have asked you to come
if he wasn't gonna be here.

1683
01:01:30.958 --> 01:01:33.667
- Okay. Well, maybe Mr. Promposal
just got drunk or something.

1684
01:01:33.667 --> 01:01:35.667
- No, stay. Just stay a little longer!

1685
01:01:35.667 --> 01:01:37.125
I'll be right with you in a second.

1686
01:01:38.000 --> 01:01:39.208
[cell phone chimes]

1687
01:01:40.208 --> 01:01:41.208
GRIFFIN: <i>Where did they get</i>
<i>all this tape from?</i>

1688
01:01:41.208 --> 01:01:43.042
HAGS: <i>I gotta go to the bathroom now.</i>

1689
01:01:43.625 --> 01:01:44.208
LENA: Griffin?

1690
01:01:44.208 --> 01:01:45.792
<i>- Hags, you need to be</i>
<i>an adult about this.</i>

1691
01:01:45.792 --> 01:01:46.708
<i>Do not shit--</i>

1692
01:01:46.708 --> 01:01:48.083
ANDREW: <i>I need to go to the bathroom too.</i>

1693
01:01:48.083 --> 01:01:49.667
GRIFFIN: <i>No. Andrew, no. Andrew.</i>

1694
01:01:49.667 --> 01:01:51.583
<i>Do not. Stay strong, Andrew.</i>

1695
01:01:53.000 --> 01:01:53.833
[all grunting]

1696
01:01:53.833 --> 01:01:55.125
♪ <i>Shit/Poop My Pants</i>
by the F Heads playing ♪

1697
01:01:55.125 --> 01:01:57.500
<i>- ♪ I think I shit my pants,</i>
<i>gonna need new pants ♪</i>

1698
01:01:57.500 --> 01:01:58.708
[crowd cheering, laughing]

1699
01:01:58.708 --> 01:02:01.000
<i>♪ I shit my pants ♪</i>

1700
01:02:02.458 --> 01:02:05.667
[all shouting]

1701
01:02:05.667 --> 01:02:07.000
HAGS: You fucking heathens.

1702
01:02:07.000 --> 01:02:09.625
[indiscernible conversation]

1703
01:02:09.625 --> 01:02:11.250
You're all heathens.

1704
01:02:12.042 --> 01:02:13.500
<i>- ♪ And now it's time ♪</i>

1705
01:02:14.583 --> 01:02:15.917
MAN: All right, all right.

1706
01:02:15.917 --> 01:02:16.625
HAGS: Thank you, man.

1707
01:02:16.625 --> 01:02:17.958
MAN: Yeah, it's no problem.

1708
01:02:21.583 --> 01:02:22.417
GIRL 1: Come this way.

1709
01:02:22.417 --> 01:02:24.958
GIRL 2: Hey,
it's the Siamese Tootsie Roll guys.

1710
01:02:24.958 --> 01:02:25.583
GIRL 1: All right.

1711
01:02:25.583 --> 01:02:27.917
- "Siamese Tootsie Roll guys?"

1712
01:02:28.458 --> 01:02:29.417
We have a name.

1713
01:02:29.833 --> 01:02:32.333
- Oh yeah! You're going viral.
GRIFFIN: You happy, Hags?

1714
01:02:32.333 --> 01:02:35.333
- Hey, look, at least we'll be recognized
tonight at the Library Party.

1715
01:02:35.333 --> 01:02:36.792
- I don't care about recognition, man.

1716
01:02:36.792 --> 01:02:39.250
I just want to get to this stupid party
and ask Lena to prom!

1717
01:02:39.250 --> 01:02:41.792
- You've been saying that every day
for the past five months.

1718
01:02:41.792 --> 01:02:43.333
- You know, you're kind of
an asshole, man.

1719
01:02:43.333 --> 01:02:45.417
- Well, if it wasn't for this asshole,

1720
01:02:46.125 --> 01:02:48.917
you'd still be at home tonight
doing the Root Beer Goat.

1721
01:02:48.917 --> 01:02:51.208
- Because of you, the dean of Brown
is gonna look up my name

1722
01:02:51.208 --> 01:02:53.083
and see me, you, and Andrew
taped ass to ass,

1723
01:02:53.083 --> 01:02:55.375
rolling down the street blindfolded
on Binge Night.

1724
01:02:55.375 --> 01:02:57.250
Principal Carlsen's gonna see that.
Everyone will.

1725
01:02:57.250 --> 01:02:58.583
That could ruin my fucking life.

1726
01:02:58.583 --> 01:03:01.667
If I'm even alive after the 30
mushroom-filled burritos we just ate.

1727
01:03:01.667 --> 01:03:03.375
- Oh, I'm sorry

1728
01:03:03.375 --> 01:03:04.958
for trying to add some fun

1729
01:03:04.958 --> 01:03:06.958
to your miserable existence, Griffin.
- What?

1730
01:03:06.958 --> 01:03:08.875
What part of anything
about tonight was fun?

1731
01:03:08.875 --> 01:03:10.125
Andrew, are you having fun?

1732
01:03:10.125 --> 01:03:12.458
- Ah, fucking Binge, man.

1733
01:03:12.458 --> 01:03:13.167
- You see?

1734
01:03:13.458 --> 01:03:14.875
You see?
- You didn't even want him to come.

1735
01:03:14.875 --> 01:03:17.750
- Of course I wanted him to come.
- You said he was hurting our cool factor.

1736
01:03:17.750 --> 01:03:20.292
- And you only wanted him
for the wristbands!

1737
01:03:22.750 --> 01:03:25.875
- If you guys didn't want me to come,
you could have just said that.

1738
01:03:25.875 --> 01:03:27.417
- That's not true.
- That's not it, Andrew.

1739
01:03:27.417 --> 01:03:29.750
- No, I got along fine just by myself.

1740
01:03:29.750 --> 01:03:32.583
I don't like being somewhere
I'm not appreciated.

1741
01:03:33.583 --> 01:03:35.083
GRIFFIN: Andrew, that's not what we meant.

1742
01:03:36.875 --> 01:03:38.042
HAGS: Andrew!

1743
01:03:38.625 --> 01:03:41.917
Goddammit, Griffin. This is the bullshit
I'm talking about.

1744
01:03:45.208 --> 01:03:46.167
You know what?

1745
01:03:47.042 --> 01:03:48.750
I'm going to that party tonight.

1746
01:03:49.333 --> 01:03:50.417
Without you.

1747
01:03:53.667 --> 01:03:55.500
We could've been legends tonight, man.

1748
01:03:57.458 --> 01:03:59.375
We could have crushed that Gauntlet.

1749
01:04:03.542 --> 01:04:05.792
Griffin, this is the bullshit
I'm talking about!

1750
01:04:06.667 --> 01:04:07.625
You know what?

1751
01:04:08.417 --> 01:04:10.458
I'm going to that party tonight.

1752
01:04:15.625 --> 01:04:19.042
- If you guys didn't want me to come,
why didn't you just say that?

1753
01:04:20.750 --> 01:04:22.333
- Root Beer Goat.

1754
01:04:22.333 --> 01:04:23.792
DAKOTA: <i>You're going on a little trip.</i>

1755
01:04:23.792 --> 01:04:25.292
- It's okay. You're just dying.

1756
01:04:26.292 --> 01:04:27.417
- I don't wanna be a little girl.

1757
01:04:28.000 --> 01:04:29.333
[cawing]

1758
01:04:29.792 --> 01:04:31.375
DAKOTA: <i>You're going on a little trip!</i>
HAGS: <i>Root Beer Goat.</i>

1759
01:04:31.375 --> 01:04:34.625
[overlapping voices]

1760
01:04:35.042 --> 01:04:37.875
HAGS' VOICE: Dammit, Griffin, this is
the bullshit I'm talking about.

1761
01:04:39.333 --> 01:04:40.250
[bleating]

1762
01:04:42.250 --> 01:04:44.958
♪ mystical music playing ♪

1763
01:04:44.958 --> 01:04:47.292
GIRL: <i>Your entire world turns</i>
<i>into a musical.</i>

1764
01:04:51.583 --> 01:04:53.667
<i>- ♪ I just need a little change ♪</i>

1765
01:04:54.083 --> 01:04:56.083
<i>♪ So that I can catch the bus ♪</i>

1766
01:04:56.083 --> 01:04:58.000
<i>- ♪ Check out this kid's getup ♪</i>

1767
01:04:58.000 --> 01:05:01.208
<i>♪ Looks like he might have some scratch ♪</i>

1768
01:05:01.208 --> 01:05:02.958
<i>- ♪ Give us all your money, kid ♪</i>

1769
01:05:02.958 --> 01:05:05.583
<i>- ♪ Sorry, not today, man ♪</i>

1770
01:05:05.583 --> 01:05:07.958
<i>♪ Wait, why are we singing? ♪</i>

1771
01:05:07.958 --> 01:05:13.417
<i>♪ What the fuck is happening? ♪</i>

1772
01:05:14.375 --> 01:05:18.333
<i>- ♪ He said, let's Binge, Griffin,</i>
<i>we'll have a rocking time ♪</i>

1773
01:05:18.333 --> 01:05:21.958
<i>♪ On the one night of the year</i>
<i>when railing lines is not a crime ♪</i>

1774
01:05:21.958 --> 01:05:25.417
<i>- ♪ Soon he's off to college</i>
<i>while I vanish from his brain ♪</i>

1775
01:05:25.417 --> 01:05:29.042
<i>♪ He'll be getting knowledge</i>
<i>and remember me as lame ♪</i>

1776
01:05:29.042 --> 01:05:30.750
<i>- ♪ We thought it'd be terrific ♪</i>

1777
01:05:30.750 --> 01:05:32.667
<i>♪ To be substance abusers ♪</i>

1778
01:05:32.667 --> 01:05:34.333
<i>♪ But that was quite horrific ♪</i>

1779
01:05:34.333 --> 01:05:36.125
<i>♪ You made us look like losers ♪</i>

1780
01:05:36.125 --> 01:05:38.083
<i>- ♪ The best night ever ♪</i>

1781
01:05:38.083 --> 01:05:39.667
<i>♪ Turned out pretty rotten ♪</i>

1782
01:05:39.667 --> 01:05:41.667
<i>♪ Now when he's with</i>
<i>new friends at Brown ♪</i>

1783
01:05:41.667 --> 01:05:43.542
<i>♪ I will be forgotten ♪</i>

1784
01:05:46.667 --> 01:05:49.708
<i>- ♪ I hate you so much, Hags,</i>
<i>you've probably ruined my life ♪</i>

1785
01:05:49.708 --> 01:05:53.042
<i>♪ I almost asked Lena to prom</i>
<i>and then to be my wife ♪</i>

1786
01:05:53.042 --> 01:05:54.417
BOTH: <i>♪ What the fuck is happening? ♪</i>

1787
01:05:54.417 --> 01:05:56.125
<i>♪ My brain's completely fried!</i>

1788
01:05:56.125 --> 01:05:59.500
<i>♪ The night became unhinged,</i>
<i>the thought just made me cringe ♪</i>

1789
01:05:59.500 --> 01:06:03.208
<i>♪ It's not how it should be on the Binge ♪</i>

1790
01:06:04.667 --> 01:06:08.125
<i>- ♪ All I ever wanted were some friends ♪</i>

1791
01:06:08.125 --> 01:06:12.458
<i>♪ Pals with me till the very end ♪</i>

1792
01:06:12.875 --> 01:06:16.792
<i>♪ How I fix this now?</i>
<i>I really don't know how ♪</i>

1793
01:06:16.792 --> 01:06:19.208
<i>♪ We tore off an eyebrow ♪</i>

1794
01:06:19.208 --> 01:06:23.500
<i>♪ And killed a lovely cow ♪</i>

1795
01:06:23.500 --> 01:06:24.833
[gunshot, cow moos]

1796
01:06:24.833 --> 01:06:26.667
BOTH:
<i>♪ We're gonna get high, gonna get baked ♪</i>

1797
01:06:26.667 --> 01:06:28.667
<i>♪ Till every inch of us just aches ♪</i>

1798
01:06:28.667 --> 01:06:30.583
<i>♪ Gonna do lines, gonna pop tabs ♪</i>

1799
01:06:30.583 --> 01:06:32.458
<i>♪ Ingest everything we grab ♪</i>

1800
01:06:32.458 --> 01:06:34.375
<i>♪ Have some shrooms,</i>
<i>then smoke some crack ♪</i>

1801
01:06:34.375 --> 01:06:36.375
<i>♪ Chase the Dragon and shoot some smack ♪</i>

1802
01:06:36.375 --> 01:06:40.042
<i>♪ We won't stop till all our brains</i>
<i>are fucking fried ♪</i>

1803
01:06:40.042 --> 01:06:43.542
<i>♪ 'Cause the only thing that matters</i>
<i>when we binge ♪</i>

1804
01:06:43.542 --> 01:06:44.792
<i>♪ Is we're gonna get high ♪</i>

1805
01:06:45.875 --> 01:06:49.417
<i>- ♪ If only I was brave</i>
<i>I could've asked her to the prom ♪</i>

1806
01:06:49.417 --> 01:06:52.958
<i>♪ I missed my opportunity</i>
<i>and now my boner's gone ♪</i>

1807
01:06:52.958 --> 01:06:56.667
<i>♪ They ripped my fucking eyebrow off</i>
<i>I'm stuck singing this ballad ♪</i>

1808
01:06:56.667 --> 01:07:00.208
<i>♪ While Lena's off with someone else</i>
<i>I'm tossing my own salad ♪</i>

1809
01:07:00.208 --> 01:07:03.875
<i>- ♪ This will be the best prom ever ♪</i>

1810
01:07:03.875 --> 01:07:07.292
<i>♪ That promposal was so damn clever ♪</i>

1811
01:07:07.292 --> 01:07:10.833
<i>♪ But not knowing who,</i>
<i>I'm so glad it was you ♪</i>

1812
01:07:10.833 --> 01:07:14.708
<i>♪ And not someone like Griffin or Trevor ♪</i>

1813
01:07:14.708 --> 01:07:19.500
<i>♪ We'll live happily ever ♪</i>

1814
01:07:19.500 --> 01:07:20.333
[champagne cork pops]

1815
01:07:21.042 --> 01:07:24.000
- Nooo!

1816
01:07:24.000 --> 01:07:27.333
<i>- ♪ Sarah, my sweet, you're probably</i>
<i>with some foreign guy ♪</i>

1817
01:07:27.333 --> 01:07:30.833
<i>♪ You thought it'd be a treat,</i>
<i>maybe Swede, maybe Thai ♪</i>

1818
01:07:30.833 --> 01:07:32.917
[audience whistling]

1819
01:07:32.917 --> 01:07:36.750
<i>- ♪ Best night ever</i>
<i>maybe a one night stand ♪</i>

1820
01:07:36.750 --> 01:07:39.083
<i>♪ Who will be my new endeavor? ♪</i>

1821
01:07:39.083 --> 01:07:41.083
<i>♪ Could be a woman or a man ♪</i>

1822
01:07:41.083 --> 01:07:45.500
<i>♪ I don't give a fuck, maybe both ♪</i>

1823
01:07:45.500 --> 01:07:49.708
<i>♪ A three-way ought to float my boat ♪</i>

1824
01:07:53.208 --> 01:07:55.125
ALL:
<i>♪ We're gonna get high, gonna get baked ♪</i>

1825
01:07:55.125 --> 01:07:57.083
<i>♪ Till every inch of us just aches ♪</i>

1826
01:07:57.083 --> 01:07:58.958
<i>♪ Gonna do lines, gonna pop tabs ♪</i>

1827
01:07:58.958 --> 01:08:00.833
<i>♪ Ingest everything we grab ♪</i>

1828
01:08:00.833 --> 01:08:02.708
<i>♪ Have some shrooms,</i>
<i>then smoke some crack ♪</i>

1829
01:08:02.708 --> 01:08:04.583
<i>♪ Chase the Dragon and shoot some smack ♪</i>

1830
01:08:04.583 --> 01:08:06.458
<i>♪ We're gonna get high, gonna get baked ♪</i>

1831
01:08:06.458 --> 01:08:08.417
<i>♪ Till every inch of us just aches ♪</i>

1832
01:08:08.417 --> 01:08:10.292
<i>♪ Gonna do lines, gonna pop tabs ♪</i>

1833
01:08:10.292 --> 01:08:12.208
<i>♪ Ingest everything we grab ♪</i>

1834
01:08:12.208 --> 01:08:14.042
<i>♪ Cook some meth, how 'bout black tar ♪</i>

1835
01:08:14.042 --> 01:08:18.333
<i>♪ While giving hand jobs in the car ♪</i>

1836
01:08:18.333 --> 01:08:20.542
<i>♪ We're gonna get high, gonna get baked ♪</i>

1837
01:08:20.542 --> 01:08:22.333
<i>♪ Till every inch of us just aches ♪</i>

1838
01:08:22.333 --> 01:08:24.542
<i>♪ Gonna do lines, gonna pop tabs ♪</i>

1839
01:08:24.542 --> 01:08:26.083
<i>♪ Ingest everything we grab ♪</i>

1840
01:08:26.083 --> 01:08:28.292
<i>♪ Have some shrooms,</i>
<i>then smoke some crack ♪</i>

1841
01:08:28.292 --> 01:08:30.542
<i>♪ Chase the Dragon and shoot some smack ♪</i>

1842
01:08:30.542 --> 01:08:32.500
<i>- ♪ 'Cause the only thing</i>
<i>that matters when we ♪</i>

1843
01:08:32.500 --> 01:08:34.375
<i>- ♪ 'Cause the only thing</i>
<i>that matters when we ♪</i>

1844
01:08:34.375 --> 01:08:37.167
ALL: <i>♪ 'Cause the only thing</i>
<i>that matters is we get ♪</i>

1845
01:08:37.167 --> 01:08:40.292
<i>♪ So fucking ♪</i>

1846
01:08:41.042 --> 01:08:45.750
<i>♪ High ♪</i>

1847
01:08:50.125 --> 01:08:51.375
[girl giggling]

1848
01:08:51.375 --> 01:08:53.000
GIRL: Whoo!

1849
01:08:53.000 --> 01:08:54.708
♪ Yellow Claw and Fatman Scoop's
<i>Reckless</i> playing ♪

1850
01:08:54.708 --> 01:08:55.750
<i>- ♪ Don't act up ♪</i>

1851
01:08:55.750 --> 01:08:58.167
<i>♪ Don't act up, don't act up ♪</i>

1852
01:08:58.167 --> 01:09:00.083
<i>♪ Don't act up, push your back up ♪</i>

1853
01:09:00.083 --> 01:09:02.167
<i>♪ This is the opportunity</i>
<i>to get that ass up ♪</i>

1854
01:09:02.167 --> 01:09:04.417
<i>♪ You wanna get wild, get wild ♪</i>

1855
01:09:04.417 --> 01:09:06.333
<i>♪ Take it from the sky to the ground ♪</i>

1856
01:09:06.917 --> 01:09:08.792
<i>♪ Don't act up, push your back up ♪</i>

1857
01:09:08.792 --> 01:09:10.875
<i>♪ This is the opportunity</i>
<i>to get that ass up ♪</i>

1858
01:09:10.875 --> 01:09:13.167
<i>♪ You wanna get wild, get wild ♪</i>

1859
01:09:13.167 --> 01:09:14.958
<i>♪ Take it from the sky to the ground ♪</i>

1860
01:09:14.958 --> 01:09:17.625
[crowd chattering and cheering]

1861
01:09:18.042 --> 01:09:19.000
- Lena!

1862
01:09:19.000 --> 01:09:21.458
[voice echoing]
Lena!

1863
01:09:22.333 --> 01:09:23.042
Lena!

1864
01:09:23.042 --> 01:09:25.583
[voice echoing]
Lena!

1865
01:09:26.333 --> 01:09:28.125
[crowd cheering]

1866
01:09:28.125 --> 01:09:30.083
<i>- ♪ Don't act up, push your back up ♪</i>

1867
01:09:30.083 --> 01:09:32.167
<i>♪ This is the opportunity</i>
<i>to get that ass up ♪</i>

1868
01:09:32.167 --> 01:09:34.417
<i>♪ You wanna get wild, get wild ♪</i>

1869
01:09:34.417 --> 01:09:35.875
<i>♪ Take it from the sky to the ground ♪</i>

1870
01:09:35.875 --> 01:09:36.958
<i>♪ Right now ♪</i>

1871
01:09:36.958 --> 01:09:38.833
<i>♪ Don't act up, push your back up ♪</i>

1872
01:09:38.833 --> 01:09:40.917
<i>♪ This is the opportunity</i>
<i>to get that ass up ♪</i>

1873
01:09:40.917 --> 01:09:42.667
<i>♪ You wanna get wild, get wild ♪</i>

1874
01:09:43.125 --> 01:09:44.625
<i>♪ Take it from the sky to the ground ♪</i>

1875
01:09:44.625 --> 01:09:45.375
<i>♪ Right now ♪</i>

1876
01:09:45.375 --> 01:09:46.833
<i>♪ Take it from the sky to the ground ♪</i>

1877
01:09:46.833 --> 01:09:49.833
♪

1878
01:09:49.833 --> 01:09:52.750
BOOMER/PUN-ISHER: <i>Do drugs, motherfuckers!</i>

1879
01:09:52.750 --> 01:09:54.417
[crowd cheering]

1880
01:09:54.417 --> 01:09:56.833
♪ <i>In the House</i> by Outasight playing ♪

1881
01:09:56.833 --> 01:09:58.625
<i>- ♪ I'm Saucier like macaroni ♪</i>

1882
01:09:58.625 --> 01:09:59.417
[sniffing]

1883
01:09:59.417 --> 01:10:00.875
- Whoo!

1884
01:10:00.875 --> 01:10:02.833
<i>- ♪ Anyway, pull up around nine ♪</i>

1885
01:10:02.833 --> 01:10:05.167
<i>♪ That really means eleven my time ♪</i>

1886
01:10:05.167 --> 01:10:07.458
<i>♪ I gotta feeling this going all night ♪</i>

1887
01:10:07.458 --> 01:10:09.583
<i>♪ And that's the kinda thing</i>
<i>you know I like ♪</i>

1888
01:10:09.583 --> 01:10:11.542
<i>♪ Make yourself feel right at home ♪</i>

1889
01:10:11.542 --> 01:10:13.417
<i>♪ There's no other place to be ♪</i>

1890
01:10:13.417 --> 01:10:15.833
<i>♪ Call everyone now that you know ♪</i>

1891
01:10:15.833 --> 01:10:17.958
<i>♪ And tell 'em that you're here with me ♪</i>

1892
01:10:17.958 --> 01:10:20.000
<i>♪ Whoa, think we're having a party ♪</i>

1893
01:10:20.000 --> 01:10:22.042
<i>♪ Whoa,</i>
<i>I think we're having a party ♪</i>

1894
01:10:22.042 --> 01:10:24.250
<i>♪ Whoa, and everyone's invited ♪</i>

1895
01:10:24.250 --> 01:10:26.125
<i>♪ Yeah ♪</i>

1896
01:10:26.125 --> 01:10:29.083
<i>♪ We in the house, whoa, oh ♪</i>

1897
01:10:30.042 --> 01:10:31.792
<i>♪ We in the house ♪</i>

1898
01:10:31.792 --> 01:10:34.958
<i>♪ Whoa ♪</i>

1899
01:10:34.958 --> 01:10:37.083
<i>♪ So come on in and</i>
<i>stay as long as you like ♪</i>

1900
01:10:37.083 --> 01:10:39.083
<i>♪ Come on in, you're welcome anytime ♪</i>

1901
01:10:39.083 --> 01:10:42.208
<i>♪ That's right, we in the house ♪</i>

1902
01:10:42.208 --> 01:10:43.792
<i>♪ Let's go ♪</i>

1903
01:10:43.792 --> 01:10:44.583
- Lena!

1904
01:10:45.083 --> 01:10:46.000
- Griffin!

1905
01:10:48.667 --> 01:10:49.625
- Hags?

1906
01:10:50.542 --> 01:10:53.125
- Sarah?
- I can't believe you made it.

1907
01:10:53.125 --> 01:10:53.958
- Excuse me.

1908
01:10:54.833 --> 01:10:57.042
Um, have you seen Griffin?

1909
01:10:57.042 --> 01:10:59.667
- Yeah, he's, like, over there
just jazzing with a bunch

1910
01:10:59.667 --> 01:11:01.208
of way cooler guys.

1911
01:11:01.208 --> 01:11:02.458
- Wait. What seriously?

1912
01:11:02.458 --> 01:11:03.917
- No, I'm fucking with you.

1913
01:11:03.917 --> 01:11:04.917
- Oh. Ha ha ha.

1914
01:11:04.917 --> 01:11:06.708
BOY: Suck it down pipe. Be a man.

1915
01:11:06.708 --> 01:11:08.708
Look at him, he's having
a blast, everybody.

1916
01:11:08.708 --> 01:11:10.917
They call it Bong Long Island Expressway.

1917
01:11:10.917 --> 01:11:13.042
Come on!
- Oh man, yeah, that's good.

1918
01:11:13.042 --> 01:11:14.792
- Mark Maynard?
- Hey, Griffin.

1919
01:11:14.792 --> 01:11:16.000
Loving that eyebrow.

1920
01:11:16.000 --> 01:11:17.375
- I, I saw the video, so--

1921
01:11:17.375 --> 01:11:19.083
- What video?
- Of you and Lena.

1922
01:11:19.083 --> 01:11:20.792
Of you two together dancing.

1923
01:11:21.417 --> 01:11:23.000
You're the promposal guy, right?

1924
01:11:23.000 --> 01:11:25.917
- No. I'm going to prom with Nick.
Guy's got an iron grip.

1925
01:11:25.917 --> 01:11:26.625
- Hell yeah.

1926
01:11:28.208 --> 01:11:30.042
- Wait, do you know
who did ask Lena, then?

1927
01:11:30.042 --> 01:11:32.083
- No. I got no idea. It could be anyone.

1928
01:11:32.083 --> 01:11:33.125
She's a real catch.

1929
01:11:33.125 --> 01:11:35.625
Could be Max Keiser, Jack Fortin.
- Right.

1930
01:11:35.625 --> 01:11:38.667
- Could have been Tom Fank,
Matt Menina, Cameron Dzur!

1931
01:11:38.667 --> 01:11:39.708
- Lot of different people.

1932
01:11:39.708 --> 01:11:41.750
- Don't take it personally.

1933
01:11:41.750 --> 01:11:43.792
I love messing with you.

1934
01:11:44.292 --> 01:11:48.958
And tonight, I want to take
our relationship to the next level.

1935
01:11:49.625 --> 01:11:50.375
- Wait, for real?

1936
01:11:50.375 --> 01:11:53.000
- No, Hags, what the fuck
is wrong with you?

1937
01:11:53.000 --> 01:11:54.500
- I don't know what's wrong with me.
I don't know.

1938
01:11:54.500 --> 01:11:56.875
- Jerry Robinson--
- Jerry Robinson.

1939
01:11:56.875 --> 01:11:58.625
- Could be Tom Michelito.
- So many options.

1940
01:11:58.625 --> 01:12:00.583
- It could have been Kevin Weiss.
- Jacob Rosen.

1941
01:12:00.583 --> 01:12:01.792
- Eric Ulrich.

1942
01:12:01.792 --> 01:12:03.542
- Lot of people interested in her.
MARK: Hey, hey, hey,

1943
01:12:03.542 --> 01:12:05.542
nice overalls though, dude, I love 'em.

1944
01:12:06.667 --> 01:12:08.542
- Have a good night.
NICK: Hey, good luck.

1945
01:12:10.208 --> 01:12:11.500
Mark Maynard, what the fuck?

1946
01:12:11.500 --> 01:12:13.667
MARK: What? Don't pigeon hole me.
It's the Binge.

1947
01:12:13.667 --> 01:12:14.875
She's got an iron grip!

1948
01:12:21.833 --> 01:12:24.458
- "This is the last clue. Don't U C.

1949
01:12:24.458 --> 01:12:25.917
Lena, go to prom with me."

1950
01:12:25.917 --> 01:12:29.958
♪ romantic music playing ♪

1951
01:12:29.958 --> 01:12:33.333
♪

1952
01:12:41.333 --> 01:12:43.375
LENA: [shrieks]
Oh my god!

1953
01:12:43.375 --> 01:12:44.958
- You look Lena in the eyes and tell her

1954
01:12:44.958 --> 01:12:47.292
exactly what you wanted to tell her
your entire life.

1955
01:12:47.292 --> 01:12:49.958
Mark did not ask her to prom,
I know that for a fact.

1956
01:12:50.375 --> 01:12:52.458
We could have been legends tonight, bro.

1957
01:12:52.458 --> 01:12:55.458
♪

1958
01:12:58.417 --> 01:13:00.125
- Hags, you son of a bitch.

1959
01:13:00.792 --> 01:13:01.708
[cell phone chimes]

1960
01:13:03.708 --> 01:13:06.333
- Becky, I got a text.
Becky, I got a clue.
- What?

1961
01:13:06.333 --> 01:13:07.375
- Look.

1962
01:13:07.375 --> 01:13:09.125
"The time has come to make the call,

1963
01:13:09.125 --> 01:13:11.542
dig deep in your heart
and deep in the overalls."

1964
01:13:11.542 --> 01:13:13.167
What fucking overalls?

1965
01:13:13.167 --> 01:13:15.375
[toilet flushing]

1966
01:13:16.833 --> 01:13:18.667
Oh god. No.

1967
01:13:18.667 --> 01:13:22.583
<i>- Gauntlet competitor!</i>
<i>Please make your way to the stage.</i>

1968
01:13:22.583 --> 01:13:26.458
<i>If you haven't signed up,</i>
<i>now is your last chance</i>

1969
01:13:26.458 --> 01:13:29.542
<i>to be... legendary!</i>

1970
01:13:29.542 --> 01:13:33.875
[cheering]

1971
01:13:38.750 --> 01:13:41.833
- What about that preview that you were
gonna give me in band practice?

1972
01:13:42.792 --> 01:13:45.083
I'm gonna be a member
of the big dick club.

1973
01:13:45.083 --> 01:13:46.292
- Whoa! Oh!

1974
01:13:46.292 --> 01:13:48.333
[both laughing]

1975
01:13:48.333 --> 01:13:49.250
I mean, really?

1976
01:13:49.708 --> 01:13:52.125
I like that-- Oh! Hey!

1977
01:13:52.125 --> 01:13:53.083
GRIFFIN: [over mic] <i>Hags!</i>

1978
01:13:53.083 --> 01:13:54.375
<i>Excuse me!</i>
- Griffin?

1979
01:13:54.375 --> 01:13:55.542
<i>- Excuse me.</i>

1980
01:13:56.417 --> 01:13:58.292
SARAH: Focus up, Hags.
<i>- I'm so sorry.</i>

1981
01:13:58.750 --> 01:14:00.333
<i>This is my first Binge,</i>

1982
01:14:00.333 --> 01:14:01.458
<i>and, uh,</i>

1983
01:14:02.875 --> 01:14:05.542
<i>I said some really shitty things</i>
<i>to some people I care a whole lot about.</i>

1984
01:14:05.542 --> 01:14:07.292
- Who's that asshole?

1985
01:14:08.458 --> 01:14:10.083
- That asshole's my best friend.

1986
01:14:10.083 --> 01:14:11.417
- Is that Griffin?

1987
01:14:11.833 --> 01:14:13.292
<i>- Hags, I don't know</i>
<i>if you can hear me or--</i>

1988
01:14:13.292 --> 01:14:16.125
- All right, listen, I gotta go
get my best friend.

1989
01:14:16.125 --> 01:14:17.750
You stay right here.
- What the fuck is he talking--

1990
01:14:17.750 --> 01:14:19.833
HAGS: I love you. Yeah, I'll be back.

1991
01:14:19.833 --> 01:14:21.708
Sorry. My best friend.
- Hags!

1992
01:14:21.708 --> 01:14:23.208
BOY 1: Get the fucker off the stage.

1993
01:14:23.208 --> 01:14:25.250
BOY 2: Super lame!
GIRL: Get off the stage!

1994
01:14:25.250 --> 01:14:26.417
BOY 3: What the fuck, man?

1995
01:14:27.250 --> 01:14:27.958
- Griffin!

1996
01:14:28.250 --> 01:14:29.583
GRIFFIN: <i>Hags?</i>
- Hey, Griffin!

1997
01:14:29.583 --> 01:14:30.417
<i>- Hags!</i>

1998
01:14:30.417 --> 01:14:31.500
<i>- Sorry for the--</i>
HAGS: Hey!

1999
01:14:31.500 --> 01:14:32.833
- I'm coming, Hags.

2000
01:14:32.833 --> 01:14:33.958
- Hey, hey, Griffin!

2001
01:14:33.958 --> 01:14:36.000
<i>- Now let's get to the Gauntlet, shall we?</i>

2002
01:14:36.000 --> 01:14:39.833
[crowd cheering]

2003
01:14:39.833 --> 01:14:41.792
GRIFFIN: I'm coming. I'm coming, Hags.

2004
01:14:41.792 --> 01:14:43.333
- Hey, that's my best friend.

2005
01:14:43.333 --> 01:14:45.333
- Oh god, just stop drinking--

2006
01:14:45.333 --> 01:14:47.083
Whoa! Lena! Lena, look.

2007
01:14:47.083 --> 01:14:50.250
Look. Lena. Lena, Lena, look.
Overalls. Overalls.

2008
01:14:50.250 --> 01:14:51.708
LENA: Holy shit! It's Griffin!

2009
01:14:51.708 --> 01:14:52.500
BECKY: Yeah!

2010
01:14:52.500 --> 01:14:53.333
- Oh my god, I--

2011
01:14:53.333 --> 01:14:55.875
- Dude, dude, dude, you should,
you should get him!

2012
01:14:55.875 --> 01:14:56.792
[bottles clinking]
[body thuds]

2013
01:14:56.792 --> 01:14:59.083
- Griffin! Griffin!

2014
01:14:59.083 --> 01:15:00.667
Hey! Hey!
GRIFFIN: Hags!

2015
01:15:00.667 --> 01:15:01.500
HAGS: Griffin!
- Hags!

2016
01:15:01.500 --> 01:15:02.375
- Hey!

2017
01:15:03.792 --> 01:15:04.958
Did you ask Lena to prom?

2018
01:15:04.958 --> 01:15:06.625
- No, I couldn't find her.

2019
01:15:06.625 --> 01:15:09.292
Why did you keep saying I had to beat
the other guy to the promposal?

2020
01:15:09.292 --> 01:15:11.208
- You just needed a little push, man.

2021
01:15:11.208 --> 01:15:13.542
Look, I always knew you would ask her.
And I knew you could do it.

2022
01:15:13.542 --> 01:15:14.958
This was all just a backup.

2023
01:15:15.958 --> 01:15:17.875
Have you seen Andrew?
- No.

2024
01:15:17.875 --> 01:15:19.750
I'm not even sure how I got to the party.

2025
01:15:19.750 --> 01:15:21.458
- Well, I was tap-dancing in the street!

2026
01:15:21.458 --> 01:15:23.292
- People were singing
around me at one point.

2027
01:15:23.292 --> 01:15:25.292
- I've had an erection for six hours.

2028
01:15:25.292 --> 01:15:26.875
HAGS: Andrew!

2029
01:15:26.875 --> 01:15:28.750
What the fuck happened to you, man?

2030
01:15:28.750 --> 01:15:30.542
<i>- Hey, hey, hey, team name?</i>

2031
01:15:31.917 --> 01:15:33.792
- Oh, I'm sorry, we're not competing.

2032
01:15:33.792 --> 01:15:35.583
- Hey, if you're not competing,
get the fuck off the stage.

2033
01:15:35.583 --> 01:15:36.292
HAGS: Right away, sir.

2034
01:15:36.292 --> 01:15:37.833
I put you through enough already.
Let's go and see-

2035
01:15:37.833 --> 01:15:38.833
- Wait, we're competing.

2036
01:15:39.792 --> 01:15:40.500
- What?

2037
01:15:40.500 --> 01:15:43.125
- There's no way in hell we came this far

2038
01:15:43.125 --> 01:15:45.333
not to take a run
at becoming legends tonight.

2039
01:15:45.333 --> 01:15:48.167
You made this whole night about me.
Now let me do this for you.

2040
01:15:48.167 --> 01:15:49.500
- He's right.

2041
01:15:53.000 --> 01:15:54.292
- What do you say?

2042
01:15:54.708 --> 01:15:56.875
This is our chance to be remembered.

2043
01:15:56.875 --> 01:15:58.458
- Oh man!

2044
01:15:58.458 --> 01:15:59.875
- I know that groan! He's in!

2045
01:15:59.875 --> 01:16:02.042
My man.
<i>- Hey, guys, team name?</i>

2046
01:16:02.042 --> 01:16:05.625
- Um... how about the Best Friends?

2047
01:16:05.625 --> 01:16:07.500
- You're gonna get scorched for that name.

2048
01:16:07.500 --> 01:16:08.583
Watch this.

2049
01:16:08.583 --> 01:16:10.250
<i>Hey, give it up for the Best Friends.</i>

2050
01:16:10.250 --> 01:16:12.958
[crowd booing]
- <i>Hey, team Best friends,</i>
<i>where's your Valleyman?</i>

2051
01:16:12.958 --> 01:16:14.333
GRIFFIN: What the hell's a Valleyman?

2052
01:16:14.333 --> 01:16:15.458
- It's your fourth man.

2053
01:16:15.458 --> 01:16:16.750
Every team needs a fourth.

2054
01:16:17.208 --> 01:16:19.083
If he's not up here in 30 seconds,
you can't compete.

2055
01:16:19.083 --> 01:16:20.083
- We didn't know about that.

2056
01:16:20.083 --> 01:16:20.625
- Griffin.

2057
01:16:22.750 --> 01:16:23.500
- Hey.

2058
01:16:24.125 --> 01:16:24.833
CARLSEN: Lena!

2059
01:16:27.333 --> 01:16:29.125
Dad?
CARLSEN: What the hell
is going on with you?

2060
01:16:29.125 --> 01:16:30.750
Let's go! We're leaving.

2061
01:16:31.542 --> 01:16:32.458
GRIFFIN: Lena, wait.

2062
01:16:35.750 --> 01:16:37.708
There's something I should have asked you
a long time ago

2063
01:16:37.708 --> 01:16:39.792
and was too terrified
to do anything about it.

2064
01:16:40.792 --> 01:16:43.083
But standing here now in front
of all these people and

2065
01:16:43.917 --> 01:16:46.125
with your dad right behind you,
the whole situation's feeling

2066
01:16:46.125 --> 01:16:47.917
a thousand times more awkward
and terrifying

2067
01:16:47.917 --> 01:16:50.417
than I even imagined it could be,
but that's okay, it doesn't matter.

2068
01:16:56.542 --> 01:16:57.750
Will you go to prom with me?

2069
01:16:57.750 --> 01:16:59.542
- Lena, I don't even know where you're at.

2070
01:16:59.542 --> 01:17:01.292
You're sneaking around
and you're lying to me.

2071
01:17:01.292 --> 01:17:02.333
You gotta come with me.

2072
01:17:03.167 --> 01:17:04.792
I mean, you gotta come alongside me.

2073
01:17:05.792 --> 01:17:06.667
It's time for us to come.

2074
01:17:06.667 --> 01:17:08.792
[crowd murmuring]

2075
01:17:08.792 --> 01:17:09.625
Let me walk that back.

2076
01:17:09.625 --> 01:17:11.750
I don't want that taken
out of context by anybody.

2077
01:17:11.750 --> 01:17:12.458
We're leaving.

2078
01:17:13.542 --> 01:17:14.375
- No.

2079
01:17:14.708 --> 01:17:16.500
No. No, I'm not leaving.

2080
01:17:16.500 --> 01:17:19.792
I know that sneaking out was wrong,
but you said so yourself,

2081
01:17:19.792 --> 01:17:21.333
I'm not gonna be a teenager forever.

2082
01:17:21.333 --> 01:17:23.375
So, this is where I'm at.

2083
01:17:23.375 --> 01:17:25.792
I want to go out,
and I want to try new things

2084
01:17:25.792 --> 01:17:29.167
and fucking I'm probably gonna make
a thousand mistakes but...

2085
01:17:30.333 --> 01:17:32.958
I'd really love to be able
to talk to my dad about it.

2086
01:17:32.958 --> 01:17:34.917
PUN-ISHER: <i>Come on, guys,</i>
<i>where's your Valleyman?</i>

2087
01:17:34.917 --> 01:17:35.917
- Get off the stage, it's over.

2088
01:17:35.917 --> 01:17:38.083
♪ dramatic music playing ♪

2089
01:17:38.083 --> 01:17:41.083
♪

2090
01:17:41.917 --> 01:17:42.792
- You're my daughter.

2091
01:17:43.792 --> 01:17:44.667
I see you.

2092
01:17:45.625 --> 01:17:48.083
And you can talk to me anytime you want.

2093
01:17:48.917 --> 01:17:50.542
- Thank you, Dad. That's exactly what I--

2094
01:17:50.542 --> 01:17:51.375
- Just not right now.
- Oh!

2095
01:17:52.833 --> 01:17:53.875
- I'll be your Valleyman.

2096
01:17:54.458 --> 01:17:57.750
Take out your little pencil
and, uh, scratch down the name...

2097
01:17:58.375 --> 01:18:00.958
El fucking Pantera.
<i>[panther snarls]</i>

2098
01:18:00.958 --> 01:18:02.000
BOOMER: <i>Oh shit!</i>

2099
01:18:02.000 --> 01:18:03.000
- Dad?
- What is happening?

2100
01:18:03.375 --> 01:18:05.875
<i>- It's the return of El Pantera.</i>

2101
01:18:05.875 --> 01:18:07.292
[crowd cheering]

2102
01:18:07.292 --> 01:18:09.000
CROWD [chanting]: Pantera!
[bottle shatters]

2103
01:18:09.000 --> 01:18:10.417
Pantera!

2104
01:18:10.875 --> 01:18:11.917
Pantera!

2105
01:18:11.917 --> 01:18:13.958
BOTH: Oh my god! Oh my god!

2106
01:18:14.500 --> 01:18:16.042
BECKY: Your dad is El Pantera?

2107
01:18:17.542 --> 01:18:19.875
- You boys have the balls
to dare to be living legends,

2108
01:18:19.875 --> 01:18:22.333
then I'm not gonna let
some technicality stop that.

2109
01:18:23.000 --> 01:18:26.250
Truth be told, I lost
to the Gauntlet once. I was selfish.

2110
01:18:26.958 --> 01:18:28.542
Tried to go solo.

2111
01:18:28.542 --> 01:18:31.167
But now I realize, it takes a team,

2112
01:18:31.583 --> 01:18:34.583
but only a team that's built on trust.

2113
01:18:34.583 --> 01:18:35.542
- That sounds great.

2114
01:18:35.542 --> 01:18:38.417
- You come to my house, you pretend
to be my friend and clean my pool.

2115
01:18:38.958 --> 01:18:39.958
You played me.

2116
01:18:40.500 --> 01:18:41.833
Then I get a text

2117
01:18:42.375 --> 01:18:44.750
saying that you wanna impregnate
my goddamn daughter.

2118
01:18:44.750 --> 01:18:45.958
- That was just an auto-correct.

2119
01:18:45.958 --> 01:18:48.042
- I respected it, 'cause at least
you were fucking honest,

2120
01:18:48.500 --> 01:18:50.958
and that's what I need to have when we're
out there competing in the Gauntlet.

2121
01:18:50.958 --> 01:18:53.833
When the chips are down,
I need to know I can count on you.

2122
01:18:53.833 --> 01:18:54.708
So do me a favor,

2123
01:18:55.458 --> 01:18:56.583
strike me in the nuts.

2124
01:18:56.583 --> 01:18:58.375
You want me to do what?
- Show me your cards, Captain.

2125
01:18:58.375 --> 01:19:00.208
Hit me in my balls
and let me know your heart is true.

2126
01:19:01.167 --> 01:19:02.417
- I just really
don't feel comfortable doing that.

2127
01:19:02.417 --> 01:19:03.708
- No nut shot, no Gauntlet.

2128
01:19:03.708 --> 01:19:04.792
- Just do it!

2129
01:19:05.708 --> 01:19:07.458
CROWD: Ohh!
- Yeah!

2130
01:19:08.542 --> 01:19:09.292
BOY: Oh!

2131
01:19:11.000 --> 01:19:13.042
- I've never felt as close to anyone

2132
01:19:13.042 --> 01:19:14.583
as I do to you right now.

2133
01:19:20.042 --> 01:19:22.375
[crowd murmuring]

2134
01:19:22.375 --> 01:19:26.208
♪ rousing music playing ♪

2135
01:19:26.208 --> 01:19:30.125
♪

2136
01:19:30.125 --> 01:19:32.292
Can I get a cawww!

2137
01:19:32.292 --> 01:19:33.417
- Cawww!

2138
01:19:33.417 --> 01:19:34.583
CROWD: Cawww!

2139
01:19:34.583 --> 01:19:36.083
ANDREW: Caw! Caw! Caw!

2140
01:19:36.083 --> 01:19:37.667
BOOMER: <i>Let's do this!</i>

2141
01:19:37.667 --> 01:19:41.000
[crowd chanting "caw"]

2142
01:19:44.917 --> 01:19:47.292
BOOMER: <i>Ladies and gentlemen,</i>

2143
01:19:47.292 --> 01:19:51.542
<i>the time has finally come for this year's</i>

2144
01:19:51.542 --> 01:19:54.083
<i>Gauntlet!</i>
[cheering]

2145
01:19:54.083 --> 01:19:58.292
<i>Which one of our brave competitors</i>
<i>will emerge victorious?</i>

2146
01:19:58.292 --> 01:20:00.292
<i>Now is the chance to create a memory</i>

2147
01:20:00.292 --> 01:20:03.750
<i>that you will cherish</i>
<i>for the rest of your lives.</i>

2148
01:20:03.750 --> 01:20:08.125
<i>To prove that you're more</i>
<i>than the worthless piece of shit</i>

2149
01:20:08.125 --> 01:20:09.958
<i>everyone said you were</i>

2150
01:20:09.958 --> 01:20:12.917
<i>and finally win the heart</i>
<i>of your longtime crush.</i>
- Hags. Hags.

2151
01:20:13.500 --> 01:20:15.875
<i>- A chance to earn</i>
<i>the respect of your Principal</i>

2152
01:20:15.875 --> 01:20:17.667
<i>so he'll let you take</i>
<i>his daughter to prom.</i>

2153
01:20:18.167 --> 01:20:20.833
<i>A chance to finally prove</i>
<i>to your violent twin brother</i>

2154
01:20:20.833 --> 01:20:23.125
<i>that you are no longer taking his abuse.</i>

2155
01:20:24.208 --> 01:20:28.042
<i>Teams will compete in three rounds</i>
<i>of morally questionable events.</i>

2156
01:20:28.417 --> 01:20:29.875
<i>At the end of round three,</i>

2157
01:20:29.875 --> 01:20:33.250
<i>the two teams with the most points</i>
<i>will face off in a sudden death match.</i>

2158
01:20:33.250 --> 01:20:34.042
BOY: Whoo!

2159
01:20:34.042 --> 01:20:37.667
BOOMER: <i>Where the winning team</i>
<i>will be memorialized in Binge history.</i>

2160
01:20:37.667 --> 01:20:38.792
[crowd cheering]

2161
01:20:38.792 --> 01:20:41.000
<i>Now put your hands together for round one,</i>

2162
01:20:41.000 --> 01:20:44.625
<i>the Liquid Plumber!</i>

2163
01:20:44.625 --> 01:20:48.708
ANNOUNCER: [sing-songy]
<i>Liquid Plumber!</i>

2164
01:20:49.167 --> 01:20:50.625
ALL: <i>Ready?</i>

2165
01:20:50.625 --> 01:20:51.917
<i>Set!</i>

2166
01:20:51.917 --> 01:20:54.292
<i>Binge!</i>

2167
01:20:54.292 --> 01:20:56.000
BOOMER: <i>Now this is easy.</i>

2168
01:20:56.000 --> 01:20:59.083
<i>You just chug the mixture</i>
<i>of whiskey, Goldschlager,</i>

2169
01:20:59.083 --> 01:21:01.833
<i>hen's piss, Just For Men hair dye,</i>

2170
01:21:01.833 --> 01:21:03.625
<i>and sink water from an Arby's!</i>

2171
01:21:03.625 --> 01:21:05.583
<i>- Then sing The Pledge of Allegiance.</i>

2172
01:21:05.583 --> 01:21:07.375
- Let's go, Griffin!
HAGS: Let's go! Come on!

2173
01:21:07.375 --> 01:21:09.167
<i>- To the tune of the national anthem!</i>

2174
01:21:09.167 --> 01:21:10.500
♪ "Star Spangled Banner"
plays on speakers ♪

2175
01:21:10.500 --> 01:21:14.000
<i>Ice Russians are up. They're singing.</i>
<i>- ♪ I pledge allegiance ♪</i>

2176
01:21:14.000 --> 01:21:15.292
BOOMER: <i>Playboy Legends are up.</i>

2177
01:21:15.292 --> 01:21:16.333
- Suck it down pipe.

2178
01:21:16.333 --> 01:21:20.292
[competitors singing
The Pledge of Allegiance]

2179
01:21:20.292 --> 01:21:21.125
CARLSEN: Let's go!

2180
01:21:21.125 --> 01:21:22.917
[coughing]
HAGS: Let's go, Griff!

2181
01:21:22.917 --> 01:21:23.625
BOTH: Oh my God!

2182
01:21:24.917 --> 01:21:27.292
- I pledge allegiance to the Flag--

2183
01:21:27.292 --> 01:21:28.708
[singing drunkenly]

2184
01:21:29.667 --> 01:21:31.250
BOOMER: <i>Ice Russians finish.</i>

2185
01:21:32.542 --> 01:21:34.250
<i>Playboy Legends finish.</i>

2186
01:21:34.833 --> 01:21:38.333
- For the lib--
With liberty and justice for all!

2187
01:21:38.333 --> 01:21:39.042
- Yes!

2188
01:21:39.042 --> 01:21:40.250
BOOMER: <i>And team Best Friends finish!</i>
[cheering]

2189
01:21:40.250 --> 01:21:41.583
- Whoo!
HAGS: Let's go.

2190
01:21:43.000 --> 01:21:44.750
[Griffin retching]
- Oh damn.

2191
01:21:44.750 --> 01:21:45.958
[Griffin coughing]
It's all right, buddy.

2192
01:21:45.958 --> 01:21:47.917
BOOMER: <i>Ice Russians taking an early lead.</i>

2193
01:21:47.917 --> 01:21:50.042
<i>Best Friends having a real hard time.</i>

2194
01:21:50.042 --> 01:21:51.375
<i>The next event:</i>
<i>Serbian Molly Tickle Feather.</i>

2195
01:21:51.375 --> 01:21:53.792
<i>Serbian Molly Tickle Feather.</i>

2196
01:21:53.792 --> 01:21:56.708
ANNOUNCER: [sing-songy]
<i>Serbian Tickle Feather.</i>

2197
01:21:56.708 --> 01:22:00.292
BOOMER: [indistinct dialogue]
<i>Competition as old as time itself.</i>

2198
01:22:00.292 --> 01:22:02.292
PUN-ISHER <i>: Best Friends will have</i>
<i>to take this next round</i>

2199
01:22:02.292 --> 01:22:03.458
<i>if they want to stay alive.</i>

2200
01:22:04.000 --> 01:22:07.375
BOOMER <i>: Looks like that</i>
<i>quick-release MDMA is doing its job!</i>

2201
01:22:07.375 --> 01:22:09.333
HAGS: Andrew, we need this
more than ever, baby. Come on!

2202
01:22:09.333 --> 01:22:10.792
Pull through.
- Get him, Andrew, let's go!

2203
01:22:10.792 --> 01:22:11.917
- Whoo!

2204
01:22:12.500 --> 01:22:13.917
[laughing]

2205
01:22:15.042 --> 01:22:15.958
- Hey.

2206
01:22:16.917 --> 01:22:17.833
Hey, Seb.

2207
01:22:18.375 --> 01:22:19.167
- What?

2208
01:22:19.167 --> 01:22:19.833
- Nothing.

2209
01:22:19.833 --> 01:22:21.625
- Pull his arm, Andrew. Pull his arm!

2210
01:22:22.333 --> 01:22:23.250
- I love you.

2211
01:22:23.250 --> 01:22:26.708
<i>- There's a lot a deep</i>
<i>meaningful conversation</i>
<i>happening down there.</i>

2212
01:22:28.458 --> 01:22:29.667
- I love you too, bro.

2213
01:22:30.667 --> 01:22:31.708
- I've been waiting my whole life--

2214
01:22:31.708 --> 01:22:32.542
[grunts]

2215
01:22:32.542 --> 01:22:34.625
- No!
[airhorn blares]

2216
01:22:35.458 --> 01:22:37.750
BOOMER: <i>It's a close Gauntlet</i>
<i>out there, folks.</i>

2217
01:22:37.750 --> 01:22:39.917
<i>Ice Russians and the Criminals</i>
<i>neck and neck.</i>

2218
01:22:39.917 --> 01:22:42.375
<i>Team Best Friends</i>
<i>is nearly eliminated at this point.</i>

2219
01:22:42.375 --> 01:22:45.083
PUN-ISHER: <i>The only thing that can change</i>
<i>the dynamic of the Gauntlet</i>

2220
01:22:45.667 --> 01:22:47.375
<i>is the Valleymen round.</i>

2221
01:22:47.375 --> 01:22:49.792
<i>- It's convenient? Sure.</i>
<i>But what do you want from us?</i>

2222
01:22:49.792 --> 01:22:51.000
<i>We don't make the rules.</i>

2223
01:22:51.000 --> 01:22:52.750
- We're gonna need a miracle
to win this thing.

2224
01:22:52.750 --> 01:22:56.042
ANNOUNCER: [sing-songy]
<i>Alligator Donut.</i>

2225
01:22:56.042 --> 01:22:57.458
BOOMER: <i>This is life or death</i>
<i>for team Best Friends.</i>

2226
01:22:57.458 --> 01:23:00.917
<i>And since it's the Valleymen round,</i>
<i>it actually</i> is

2227
01:23:00.917 --> 01:23:02.417
<i>life or death!</i>

2228
01:23:02.417 --> 01:23:06.750
PUN-ISHER: <i>And for that reason, it's worth</i>
<i>more points than any other round.</i>

2229
01:23:06.750 --> 01:23:10.333
<i>But remember, guys, if there's a death,</i>
<i>no points are awarded.</i>

2230
01:23:10.333 --> 01:23:12.042
- This is our last shot
at making the finals.

2231
01:23:12.042 --> 01:23:13.708
- This is why we play the game.

2232
01:23:13.708 --> 01:23:16.917
[Andrew speaking Spanish]

2233
01:23:16.917 --> 01:23:18.083
PUN-ISHER: <i>Now, Valleymen,</i>

2234
01:23:18.083 --> 01:23:19.500
<i>assume the donut.</i>

2235
01:23:22.083 --> 01:23:25.083
<i>- Now, Valleymen, assume the Purple Drank.</i>

2236
01:23:26.875 --> 01:23:30.083
PUN-ISHER: <i>Now, Valleymen,</i>
<i>assume the spin.</i>

2237
01:23:31.625 --> 01:23:35.625
[crowd cheering]

2238
01:23:37.667 --> 01:23:38.917
- Oh my god!

2239
01:23:43.167 --> 01:23:44.458
PUN-ISHER: <i>Now, Valleymen,</i>

2240
01:23:45.833 --> 01:23:48.292
<i>assume the gator!</i>
[airhorn blares]

2241
01:23:48.292 --> 01:23:49.042
[growling]

2242
01:23:49.042 --> 01:23:50.917
[all gasp]

2243
01:23:53.250 --> 01:23:55.667
<i>- The donut must stay</i>
<i>on the gator's head for five seconds.</i>

2244
01:23:55.667 --> 01:23:57.333
<i>Good luck!</i>
PUN-ISHER: <i>Now be careful,</i>

2245
01:23:57.333 --> 01:24:00.667
<i>he hasn't eaten in a week</i>
<i>and he's been listening to EDM all day.</i>

2246
01:24:00.667 --> 01:24:02.000
<i>He is super hyped up.</i>

2247
01:24:02.000 --> 01:24:03.125
[girl screaming]

2248
01:24:03.125 --> 01:24:04.125
ALL: Ready.

2249
01:24:04.125 --> 01:24:05.042
[growling]

2250
01:24:05.042 --> 01:24:05.917
Set!

2251
01:24:07.583 --> 01:24:09.292
BOTH: <i>Binge!</i>

2252
01:24:09.292 --> 01:24:12.167
[crowd chanting]

2253
01:24:12.167 --> 01:24:12.833
[alligator growling]

2254
01:24:12.833 --> 01:24:14.083
- Take your time, Pantera, you're good.

2255
01:24:14.083 --> 01:24:15.708
[indistinct chatter]

2256
01:24:15.708 --> 01:24:16.500
- Oh-kay!

2257
01:24:16.500 --> 01:24:18.958
BOOMER: <i>If the donut stays</i>
<i>on its head till the count of five,</i>

2258
01:24:18.958 --> 01:24:21.000
<i>the game is over.</i>

2259
01:24:21.583 --> 01:24:23.708
- Mark, place that fucking donut
on its head.

2260
01:24:23.708 --> 01:24:24.750
[growls]

2261
01:24:26.208 --> 01:24:27.833
BOOMER: <i>Ice Russians place the donut.</i>

2262
01:24:27.833 --> 01:24:28.958
- That's what I'm talking about.
ALL: Five,

2263
01:24:28.958 --> 01:24:32.500
four, three, two, one!

2264
01:24:33.667 --> 01:24:34.542
- What?

2265
01:24:34.542 --> 01:24:36.625
BOY: Where did it go?
BOOMER: <i>What the fuck</i>
<i>happened to the donut?</i>

2266
01:24:38.708 --> 01:24:40.292
<i>El Pantera has the donut!</i>

2267
01:24:40.292 --> 01:24:41.458
[cheering]

2268
01:24:41.458 --> 01:24:42.667
- Yes! Yes!

2269
01:24:47.583 --> 01:24:49.833
BOOMER: <i>That's why</i>
<i>they call him El Pantera.</i>

2270
01:24:49.833 --> 01:24:50.917
SEB: Wait, can he do that?

2271
01:24:50.917 --> 01:24:52.083
CROWD: [chanting] Pantera!

2272
01:24:52.083 --> 01:24:54.417
Pantera!
HAGS: He can.

2273
01:24:54.417 --> 01:24:55.958
CROWD: Pantera!
ANDREW: You got this, Pantera.

2274
01:24:55.958 --> 01:24:57.167
- You got it, Pantera. Here we go.

2275
01:24:57.167 --> 01:24:59.917
BOOMER: <i>If the Best Friends can take this,</i>
<i>they'll be in the sudden death round</i>

2276
01:24:59.917 --> 01:25:02.333
<i>with the Ice Russians.</i>

2277
01:25:02.333 --> 01:25:04.208
<i>- Sixty seconds remaining.</i>

2278
01:25:04.208 --> 01:25:06.458
[alligator growling]

2279
01:25:10.167 --> 01:25:11.083
- Come on, Pantera.

2280
01:25:11.833 --> 01:25:12.792
[hisses, snaps]
[girl shrieks]

2281
01:25:12.792 --> 01:25:14.042
- Dad, be careful.
CARLSEN: Lena, quiet.

2282
01:25:14.708 --> 01:25:15.917
You're gonna scare the gator.

2283
01:25:17.333 --> 01:25:18.292
We talked about this.

2284
01:25:18.750 --> 01:25:19.458
- When?

2285
01:25:21.667 --> 01:25:23.750
[growling]

2286
01:25:23.750 --> 01:25:28.250
♪ dramatic music playing ♪

2287
01:25:28.750 --> 01:25:29.833
- Yeah!
CROWD: Five,

2288
01:25:29.833 --> 01:25:33.458
four, three, two, one.

2289
01:25:33.458 --> 01:25:36.500
[cheering]
[airhorn blows]

2290
01:25:37.042 --> 01:25:39.458
BOOMER: <i>El Pantera wins</i>
<i>the Valleymen round</i>

2291
01:25:39.458 --> 01:25:43.333
<i>and puts team Ice Russians</i>
<i>and team Best Friends neck and neck.</i>

2292
01:25:43.333 --> 01:25:45.292
<i>We'll see both of these teams</i>
<i>in the final round</i>

2293
01:25:45.292 --> 01:25:47.750
<i>for all the marbles.</i>

2294
01:25:47.750 --> 01:25:49.750
ANNOUNCER: [sing-songy]
<i>Cocaine Scarface.</i>

2295
01:25:49.750 --> 01:25:52.667
BOOMER: <i>You have three minutes</i>
<i>to snort as much cocaine as possible.</i>

2296
01:25:52.667 --> 01:25:54.833
<i>But if you pick your head up at any point,</i>

2297
01:25:54.833 --> 01:25:58.375
<i>you have to do your best Al Pacino</i>
<i>in</i> Scarface <i>impression</i>

2298
01:25:58.375 --> 01:25:59.750
<i>until you go back to snorting.</i>

2299
01:25:59.750 --> 01:26:03.042
- <i>The Gauntlet Win</i>
<i>will go to the team</i>
<i>with the most coke snorted</i>

2300
01:26:03.042 --> 01:26:04.458
<i>and the best Pacino'ing.</i>

2301
01:26:04.458 --> 01:26:05.583
ANDREW: Come on, Hags, you got this.

2302
01:26:05.583 --> 01:26:08.125
[cheering]
- Let's go, Hags!

2303
01:26:08.125 --> 01:26:09.125
- Okay.

2304
01:26:10.000 --> 01:26:10.792
BOOMER/PUN-ISHER: <i>Ready!</i>

2305
01:26:12.833 --> 01:26:13.583
<i>Set!</i>

2306
01:26:15.500 --> 01:26:17.792
<i>Binge!</i>

2307
01:26:17.792 --> 01:26:18.875
[crowd cheering]
[sniffing]

2308
01:26:20.500 --> 01:26:23.083
- [imitating Al Pacino]
<i>Say hello to my little friend.</i>

2309
01:26:23.083 --> 01:26:24.458
- Yeah!

2310
01:26:24.458 --> 01:26:27.667
- Oh yeah, I'm... I'm Scarface.

2311
01:26:27.667 --> 01:26:30.208
I mean, look at my big ass scar
on my face.

2312
01:26:30.208 --> 01:26:32.000
I look just like him.
[crowd booing]

2313
01:26:32.000 --> 01:26:33.208
- Hags, have you ever seen <i>Scarface?</i>

2314
01:26:33.208 --> 01:26:35.250
- Yes, I've seen <i>Scarface!</i>
- Then do <i>Scarface!</i>

2315
01:26:35.833 --> 01:26:38.708
- [imitating Al Pacino] <i>All I have</i>
<i>in this world is my word and my balls,</i>

2316
01:26:38.708 --> 01:26:41.125
<i>and I don't break 'em for no one.</i>

2317
01:26:41.125 --> 01:26:44.042
- I have nipples, Focker. Can you milk me?

2318
01:26:45.000 --> 01:26:48.042
- That's Robert fucking De Niro
from <i>Meet the Fockers.</i>

2319
01:26:48.042 --> 01:26:49.125
<i>- Dumbass.</i>

2320
01:26:49.125 --> 01:26:50.167
- [imitating Al Pacino]
<i>You know what a</i> chazzer <i>is?</i>

2321
01:26:50.167 --> 01:26:52.292
<i>It's a pig who don't fly straight.</i>

2322
01:26:52.292 --> 01:26:55.208
- How does she know so much <i>Scarface?</i>
She's just crushing it.

2323
01:26:55.208 --> 01:26:57.583
- Who hasn't seen <i>Scarface?</i>

2324
01:26:57.583 --> 01:27:00.625
- I am the best Scarface
from here to Pelican Bay!

2325
01:27:00.625 --> 01:27:04.167
- I mean, you do a great Denzel,
but we're not doing Denzel right now.

2326
01:27:04.167 --> 01:27:06.542
- Kong King ain't got nothing on me!

2327
01:27:06.542 --> 01:27:08.083
- Get your head out of your ass, Hags.
- Yes, sir.

2328
01:27:08.083 --> 01:27:09.833
PUN-ISHER: <i>Time is almost up.</i>
- Oh my god.

2329
01:27:09.833 --> 01:27:11.417
- Dig deep, Hags. Here we go.

2330
01:27:11.417 --> 01:27:13.458
Push it to the limit, Hags!

2331
01:27:13.458 --> 01:27:16.875
[sniffing deeply]

2332
01:27:19.333 --> 01:27:22.417
♪ serene music playing ♪

2333
01:27:22.417 --> 01:27:24.583
- I'll have what she's having.

2334
01:27:24.583 --> 01:27:25.583
- Fucking dork.

2335
01:27:27.625 --> 01:27:29.000
- You gotta make your life matter.

2336
01:27:29.000 --> 01:27:30.583
Tonight we become legends, Griffin.

2337
01:27:30.583 --> 01:27:32.125
...we become legends-- become legends--

2338
01:27:33.333 --> 01:27:35.042
[thinking] <i>Gauntlet legends.</i>

2339
01:27:35.500 --> 01:27:37.833
<i>What I wouldn't do to be up on this wall.</i>

2340
01:27:39.333 --> 01:27:40.250
- Thank you, Quan.

2341
01:27:40.250 --> 01:27:41.625
Quan. Quan.

2342
01:27:41.625 --> 01:27:42.208
[growling]

2343
01:27:44.125 --> 01:27:45.250
- [imitating Al Pacino]
<i>What're you lookin' at?</i>

2344
01:27:46.125 --> 01:27:46.833
<i>Hmm?</i>

2345
01:27:50.042 --> 01:27:52.792
<i>You're all a bunch of fuckin' assholes.</i>

2346
01:27:53.292 --> 01:27:55.250
[scattered cheering]

2347
01:27:57.250 --> 01:27:58.583
<i>'Cause you don't have the guts</i>

2348
01:27:59.000 --> 01:28:00.917
<i>to be what you wanna be.</i>

2349
01:28:01.833 --> 01:28:04.417
<i>You people just know how to hide,</i>

2350
01:28:05.542 --> 01:28:06.667
<i>how to lie.</i>

2351
01:28:07.625 --> 01:28:08.875
<i>But see, me, no,</i>

2352
01:28:08.875 --> 01:28:11.083
<i>I don't have no problems.</i>
<i>I don't have those problems.</i>

2353
01:28:11.917 --> 01:28:13.792
<i>'Cause I always tell the truth.</i>

2354
01:28:15.250 --> 01:28:16.250
<i>Even when I lie.</i>

2355
01:28:18.500 --> 01:28:22.417
<i>So say goodnight to the bad guy!</i>

2356
01:28:23.917 --> 01:28:25.500
<i>Because you'll never</i>

2357
01:28:26.583 --> 01:28:29.292
<i>see a bad guy like me again!</i>

2358
01:28:30.583 --> 01:28:32.625
[crowd murmuring]

2359
01:28:37.042 --> 01:28:38.625
[all cheering]

2360
01:28:38.625 --> 01:28:43.500
♪ rousing music playing ♪

2361
01:28:43.500 --> 01:28:47.083
♪

2362
01:28:47.083 --> 01:28:49.542
[groaning]

2363
01:28:49.542 --> 01:28:51.917
BOOMER: <i>Team Best Friends</i>
<i>have won the Gauntlet!</i>

2364
01:28:51.917 --> 01:28:53.958
- We did it! We won!

2365
01:28:53.958 --> 01:28:56.375
[cheering continues]

2366
01:29:02.958 --> 01:29:07.542
[groaning]

2367
01:29:08.167 --> 01:29:10.000
I'll have what she's having!

2368
01:29:10.958 --> 01:29:13.375
[cheering]

2369
01:29:13.375 --> 01:29:15.083
♪ Andrew W. K.'s
<i>It's Time to Party</i> playing ♪

2370
01:29:15.083 --> 01:29:16.708
<i>- ♪ Hang out with yourself</i>
<i>and have a crazy party ♪</i>

2371
01:29:16.708 --> 01:29:19.333
<i>♪ Hey you, let's party ♪</i>

2372
01:29:19.333 --> 01:29:22.083
<i>♪ Have a killer party and party! ♪</i>

2373
01:29:22.083 --> 01:29:24.125
<i>♪ Don't even try and deny it ♪</i>

2374
01:29:24.125 --> 01:29:26.333
<i>♪ 'Cause you're gonna have</i>
<i>a party tonight ♪</i>

2375
01:29:26.917 --> 01:29:29.250
<i>♪ And you know we're gonna do it tonight ♪</i>

2376
01:29:29.708 --> 01:29:33.042
FREEMAN VOICE: <i>And with that,</i>
<i>another Binge has come and gone.</i>

2377
01:29:33.917 --> 01:29:38.333
<i>Tough lessons, the kind only</i>
<i>experience teaches, have been learned.</i>

2378
01:29:39.125 --> 01:29:42.500
<i>With a little diligence,</i>
<i>this initiative can work.</i>

2379
01:29:42.917 --> 01:29:45.917
<i>It can strike fear, it can take lives,</i>

2380
01:29:45.917 --> 01:29:48.208
<i>but it can also save them.</i>

2381
01:29:48.833 --> 01:29:50.750
<i>So until next Binge,</i>

2382
01:29:50.750 --> 01:29:53.042
<i>stay alert, stay vigilant</i>

2383
01:29:53.042 --> 01:29:56.792
<i>and for heaven's sake, suck it down pipe.</i>

2384
01:29:58.375 --> 01:29:59.125
[giggles]

2385
01:30:02.208 --> 01:30:03.000
GRIFFIN: Wow!

2386
01:30:03.000 --> 01:30:04.167
Lena, you look

2387
01:30:04.875 --> 01:30:06.583
so amazing.
LENA: What?

2388
01:30:06.583 --> 01:30:08.625
I just woke up like this!

2389
01:30:08.625 --> 01:30:11.333
♪ romantic music playing ♪

2390
01:30:14.958 --> 01:30:16.583
- Do you want me to put this on?
- Yeah.

2391
01:30:19.708 --> 01:30:20.583
- I'm proud of you.

2392
01:30:23.292 --> 01:30:24.958
- I'm proud of you too, Dad.

2393
01:30:26.750 --> 01:30:28.000
- All right, get out of here.
You two look great.

2394
01:30:28.000 --> 01:30:29.083
[Lena laughing]

2395
01:30:29.750 --> 01:30:31.083
- Thank you.

2396
01:30:32.500 --> 01:30:34.833
HAGS: Come on, Griffin!
[horn tooting]

2397
01:30:34.833 --> 01:30:36.542
ANDREW: Griffin!
- All right, guys, this is our stop.
This is our stop.

2398
01:30:36.542 --> 01:30:37.375
Everybody relax.

2399
01:30:37.375 --> 01:30:39.167
- You guys have fun!
Watch your speed limit in that thing.

2400
01:30:39.167 --> 01:30:40.833
- Yes, sir.
CARLSEN: Sarah, I love that hair.

2401
01:30:40.833 --> 01:30:42.625
It's crazy. Double bag it for me, Quan.

2402
01:30:43.042 --> 01:30:45.125
Andrew, nothing weird about you.

2403
01:30:45.125 --> 01:30:47.625
Kimmi... fantastic.

2404
01:30:48.333 --> 01:30:50.083
- Are we really riding this the whole way?

2405
01:30:50.083 --> 01:30:51.958
- This is the PromCycle. This thing fucks.

2406
01:30:51.958 --> 01:30:53.958
Let's go! Full speed ahead.

2407
01:30:53.958 --> 01:30:55.292
Time is wasting.

2408
01:30:55.292 --> 01:30:56.792
Come on, Lena.
Put your, put your thighs in it.

2409
01:30:56.792 --> 01:30:58.042
LENA: I am!

2410
01:30:58.042 --> 01:31:00.583
♪

2411
01:31:01.458 --> 01:31:02.500
- Who paid for the Fantas?

2412
01:31:02.500 --> 01:31:04.792
♪ upbeat music playing ♪

2413
01:31:06.500 --> 01:31:09.583
[horns honking, people clamoring]

2414
01:31:13.375 --> 01:31:15.333
<i>- ♪ We're gonna get high,</i>
<i>gonna get baked ♪</i>

2415
01:31:15.333 --> 01:31:16.375
<i>♪ Till every inch of us just aches ♪</i>

2416
01:31:16.375 --> 01:31:17.417
- Future boo.

2417
01:31:17.417 --> 01:31:18.708
[siren chirps]

2418
01:31:21.000 --> 01:31:22.875
<i>♪ Have some shrooms,</i>
<i>then smoke some crack ♪</i>

2419
01:31:22.875 --> 01:31:24.708
<i>♪ Chase the Dragon and shoot some smack ♪</i>

2420
01:31:24.708 --> 01:31:26.542
<i>♪ We're gonna get high, gonna get baked ♪</i>

2421
01:31:26.542 --> 01:31:28.458
<i>♪ Till every inch of us just aches ♪</i>

2422
01:31:28.458 --> 01:31:30.458
<i>♪ Gonna do lines, gonna pop tabs ♪</i>

2423
01:31:30.458 --> 01:31:32.375
<i>♪ Ingest everything we grab ♪</i>

2424
01:31:32.375 --> 01:31:34.125
<i>♪ Cook some meth, how 'bout black tar ♪</i>

2425
01:31:34.125 --> 01:31:38.667
<i>♪ While giving hand jobs in the car ♪</i>

2426
01:31:38.667 --> 01:31:40.750
<i>♪ We're gonna get high, gonna get baked ♪</i>

2427
01:31:40.750 --> 01:31:42.750
<i>♪ Till every inch of us just aches ♪</i>

2428
01:31:42.750 --> 01:31:44.667
<i>♪ Gonna do lines, gonna pop tabs ♪</i>

2429
01:31:44.667 --> 01:31:46.542
<i>♪ Ingest everything we grab ♪</i>

2430
01:31:46.542 --> 01:31:48.375
<i>♪ Have some shrooms,</i>
<i>smoke some crack ♪</i>

2431
01:31:48.375 --> 01:31:50.583
<i>♪ Chase the Dragon and shoot some smack ♪</i>

2432
01:31:50.583 --> 01:31:52.250
<i>♪ 'Cause the only thing that matters ♪</i>

2433
01:31:52.250 --> 01:31:54.542
<i>♪ 'Cause the only thing</i>
<i>that matters when we ♪</i>

2434
01:31:54.542 --> 01:31:57.333
<i>♪ 'Cause the only thing</i>
<i>that matters is we get ♪</i>

2435
01:31:57.333 --> 01:32:00.417
<i>♪ So fucking ♪</i>

2436
01:32:01.125 --> 01:32:07.083
<i>♪ High! ♪</i>

2437
01:32:11.458 --> 01:32:16.250
♪ swelling instrumental music playing ♪

2438
01:32:16.250 --> 01:32:20.625
♪

2439
01:32:24.958 --> 01:32:28.917
GRIFFIN: <i>♪ He said let's Binge, Griffin,</i>
<i>we'll have a rocking time ♪</i>

2440
01:32:28.917 --> 01:32:32.458
<i>♪ On the one night of the year</i>
<i>when railing lines is not a crime ♪</i>

2441
01:32:32.458 --> 01:32:36.250
HAGS: <i>♪ Soon he's off to college</i>
<i>while I vanish from his brain ♪</i>

2442
01:32:36.250 --> 01:32:39.625
<i>♪ He'll be getting knowledge</i>
<i>and remember me as lame ♪</i>

2443
01:32:39.625 --> 01:32:43.167
GRIFFIN: <i>♪ We thought it'd be terrific</i>
<i>to be substance abusers ♪</i>

2444
01:32:43.167 --> 01:32:46.708
<i>♪ But that was quite horrific,</i>
<i>you made us look like losers ♪</i>

2445
01:32:46.708 --> 01:32:50.250
HAGS: <i>♪ The best night ever</i>
<i>turned out pretty rotten ♪</i>

2446
01:32:50.250 --> 01:32:52.250
<i>♪ Now when he's with</i>
<i>new friends at Brown ♪</i>

2447
01:32:52.250 --> 01:32:54.042
<i>♪ I will be forgotten ♪</i>

2448
01:32:57.083 --> 01:33:00.292
GRIFFIN: <i>♪ I hate you so much, Hags,</i>
<i>you probably ruined my life ♪</i>

2449
01:33:00.292 --> 01:33:03.583
<i>♪ I almost asked Lena to prom</i>
<i>and then to be my wife ♪</i>

2450
01:33:03.583 --> 01:33:05.000
GRIFFIN/HAGS:
<i>♪ What the fuck is happening?</i>

2451
01:33:05.000 --> 01:33:06.667
<i>My brain's completely fried ♪</i>

2452
01:33:06.667 --> 01:33:09.875
<i>♪ The night became unhinged,</i>
<i>the thought just made me cringe ♪</i>

2453
01:33:09.875 --> 01:33:13.750
<i>♪ It's not how it should be</i>
<i>on the Binge! ♪</i>

2454
01:33:15.250 --> 01:33:18.750
ANDREW: <i>♪ All I ever wanted</i>
<i>were some friends ♪</i>

2455
01:33:18.750 --> 01:33:23.500
<i>♪ Pals with me till the very end ♪</i>

2456
01:33:23.500 --> 01:33:27.500
<i>♪ How will I fix this now?</i>
<i>I really don't know how ♪</i>

2457
01:33:27.500 --> 01:33:29.833
<i>♪ We tore off an eyebrow ♪</i>

2458
01:33:29.833 --> 01:33:34.583
<i>♪ And killed a lovely cow ♪</i>

2459
01:33:35.417 --> 01:33:37.292
ALL: <i>♪ We're gonna get high,</i>
<i>gonna get baked ♪</i>

2460
01:33:37.292 --> 01:33:39.250
<i>♪ Till every inch of us just aches ♪</i>

2461
01:33:39.250 --> 01:33:41.167
<i>♪ Gonna do lines, gonna pop tabs ♪</i>

2462
01:33:41.167 --> 01:33:43.042
<i>♪ Ingest everything we grab ♪</i>

2463
01:33:43.042 --> 01:33:44.958
<i>♪ Have some shrooms,</i>
<i>then smoke some crack ♪</i>

2464
01:33:44.958 --> 01:33:46.958
<i>♪ Chase the Dragon and shoot some smack ♪</i>

2465
01:33:46.958 --> 01:33:50.708
<i>♪ We won't stop till all our brains</i>
<i>are fucking fried ♪</i>

2466
01:33:50.708 --> 01:33:54.167
<i>♪ 'Cause the only thing that matters</i>
<i>when we binge ♪</i>

2467
01:33:54.167 --> 01:33:55.750
<i>♪ Is we're gonna get high ♪</i>

2468
01:33:56.458 --> 01:34:00.000
GRIFFIN: <i>♪ If only I was brave</i>
<i>I could've asked her to the prom ♪</i>

2469
01:34:00.000 --> 01:34:03.375
<i>♪ I missed my opportunity</i>
<i>and now my boner's gone ♪</i>

2470
01:34:03.375 --> 01:34:07.083
<i>♪ They ripped my fucking eyebrow off</i>
<i>I'm stuck singing this ballad ♪</i>

2471
01:34:07.083 --> 01:34:10.958
<i>♪ While Lena's off with someone else</i>
<i>I'm tossing my own salad ♪</i>

2472
01:34:17.917 --> 01:34:21.583
LENA: <i>♪ This will be the best prom ever ♪</i>

2473
01:34:21.583 --> 01:34:25.000
<i>♪ That promposal was so damn clever ♪</i>

2474
01:34:25.000 --> 01:34:28.500
<i>♪ But not knowing who,</i>
<i>I'm so glad it was you ♪</i>

2475
01:34:28.500 --> 01:34:32.375
<i>♪ And not someone like Griffin or Trevor ♪</i>

2476
01:34:32.375 --> 01:34:37.458
<i>♪ We'll live happily ever ♪</i>

2477
01:34:38.875 --> 01:34:42.333
GRIFFIN: <i>Nooo!</i>

2478
01:34:42.333 --> 01:34:46.083
♪

2479
01:34:48.292 --> 01:34:51.625
HAGS: <i>♪ Sarah, my sweet, you're probably</i>
<i>with some foreign guy ♪</i>

2480
01:34:51.625 --> 01:34:55.167
<i>♪ You thought it'd be a treat,</i>
<i>maybe Swede, maybe Thai ♪</i>

2481
01:34:57.250 --> 01:35:01.292
SARAH: <i>♪ Best night ever</i>
<i>maybe a one night stand ♪</i>

2482
01:35:01.292 --> 01:35:03.542
<i>♪ Who will be my new endeavor? ♪</i>

2483
01:35:03.542 --> 01:35:05.542
<i>♪ Could be a woman or a man ♪</i>

2484
01:35:05.542 --> 01:35:09.875
<i>♪ I don't give a fuck, maybe both ♪</i>

2485
01:35:09.875 --> 01:35:14.167
<i>♪ A three-way ought to float my boat ♪</i>

2486
01:35:15.750 --> 01:35:17.625
<i>♪ I'll try it all, see what's what ♪</i>

2487
01:35:17.625 --> 01:35:19.625
<i>♪ I'll even go 2 Girls 1 Cup ♪</i>

2488
01:35:19.625 --> 01:35:21.542
<i>♪ Maybe a horse, I don't care ♪</i>
[horse neighs]

2489
01:35:21.542 --> 01:35:23.417
<i>♪ Give me a Clydesdale, make it a pair ♪</i>

2490
01:35:23.417 --> 01:35:27.625
KIMMI: <i>♪ Getting tired of little umbrellas</i>
<i>I'd rather drink from a sexy fella ♪</i>

2491
01:35:27.625 --> 01:35:30.292
<i>♪ Andrew could do the trick ♪</i>

2492
01:35:31.208 --> 01:35:33.333
<i>♪ I bet he's got a danger dick ♪</i>

2493
01:35:34.625 --> 01:35:36.542
ALL: <i>♪ We're gonna get high,</i>
<i>gonna get baked ♪</i>

2494
01:35:36.542 --> 01:35:38.542
<i>♪ Till every inch of us just aches ♪</i>

2495
01:35:38.542 --> 01:35:40.417
<i>♪ Gonna do lines, gonna pop tabs ♪</i>

2496
01:35:40.417 --> 01:35:42.292
<i>♪ Ingest everything we grab ♪</i>

2497
01:35:42.292 --> 01:35:44.167
<i>♪ Have some shrooms,</i>
<i>smoke some crack ♪</i>

2498
01:35:44.167 --> 01:35:46.292
<i>♪ Chase the Dragon and shoot some smack ♪</i>

2499
01:35:46.292 --> 01:35:49.875
<i>♪ We won't stop till all our brains</i>
<i>are fucking fried ♪</i>

2500
01:35:49.875 --> 01:35:53.333
<i>♪ 'Cause the only thing that matters</i>
<i>when we binge ♪</i>

2501
01:35:53.333 --> 01:35:54.875
<i>♪ Is we're gonna get high ♪</i>

2502
01:35:58.375 --> 01:36:00.708
SEB: <i>♪ Hey, little brother,</i>
<i>I thought you had given up ♪</i>

2503
01:36:00.708 --> 01:36:03.000
<i>♪ Quittin' from the shittin'</i>
<i>on each other just wasn't enough ♪</i>

2504
01:36:03.000 --> 01:36:05.125
<i>♪ I got a Gauntlet to win</i>
<i>so get out my way ♪</i>

2505
01:36:05.125 --> 01:36:07.542
<i>♪ I'm gonna beat the game,</i>
<i>get my name on the wall of fame ♪</i>

2506
01:36:07.542 --> 01:36:09.792
ANDREW: <i>♪ You're my brother, man,</i>
<i>you're supposed to keep my shit on track ♪</i>

2507
01:36:09.792 --> 01:36:12.292
<i>♪ Instead you laughed while I collapsed</i>
<i>from a burrito stack ♪</i>

2508
01:36:12.292 --> 01:36:14.042
<i>♪ Now the gloves are off</i>
<i>the party has started ♪</i>

2509
01:36:14.042 --> 01:36:16.292
<i>♪ And when I finally take you down,</i>
<i>that shit gonna feel so cathartic ♪</i>

2510
01:36:16.708 --> 01:36:18.917
SEB: <i>♪ You can't beat me, bro,</i>
<i>you got no worth ♪</i>

2511
01:36:18.917 --> 01:36:21.083
<i>♪ In case you forget</i>
<i>who was on this Earth first ♪</i>

2512
01:36:21.083 --> 01:36:23.667
<i>♪ You can't unseat me or defeat me</i>
<i>you got half my girth ♪</i>

2513
01:36:23.667 --> 01:36:25.208
<i>♪ Bitch, you nothing but an afterbirth ♪</i>

2514
01:36:25.917 --> 01:36:27.833
ANDREW: <i>♪ Kick back, man,</i>
<i>you're bunching your panties ♪</i>

2515
01:36:27.833 --> 01:36:30.292
<i>♪ You're just the shit that mom took</i>
<i>before she had me ♪</i>

2516
01:36:30.292 --> 01:36:33.000
<i>♪ Now don't sweat the technique</i>
<i>I'll hit you with another dick dart ♪</i>

2517
01:36:33.000 --> 01:36:34.750
<i>♪ And make you pee in three streams ♪</i>

2518
01:36:34.750 --> 01:36:36.125
<i>♪ Streams, streams ♪</i>

2519
01:36:36.125 --> 01:36:38.208
CARLSEN: <i>♪ Griffin, Griffin,</i>
<i>get in this car right now ♪</i>

2520
01:36:39.667 --> 01:36:43.667
<i>♪ Did you hear? Did you hear?</i>
<i>You said you'd be my eyes and ears ♪</i>

2521
01:36:43.667 --> 01:36:47.375
<i>♪ Now your Binge-ing got me cringing</i>
<i>don't just sit there, start that engine ♪</i>

2522
01:36:47.375 --> 01:36:52.583
♪

2523
01:36:58.458 --> 01:37:00.375
ALL: <i>♪ We're gonna get high,</i>
<i>gonna get baked ♪</i>

2524
01:37:00.375 --> 01:37:02.375
<i>♪ Till every inch of us just aches ♪</i>

2525
01:37:02.375 --> 01:37:04.250
<i>♪ Gonna do lines, gonna pop tabs ♪</i>

2526
01:37:04.250 --> 01:37:06.083
<i>♪ Ingest everything we grab ♪</i>

2527
01:37:06.083 --> 01:37:07.958
<i>♪ Have some shrooms,</i>
<i>then smoke some crack ♪</i>

2528
01:37:07.958 --> 01:37:09.792
<i>♪ Chase the Dragon and shoot some smack ♪</i>

2529
01:37:09.792 --> 01:37:11.667
<i>♪ We're gonna get high, gonna get baked ♪</i>

2530
01:37:11.667 --> 01:37:13.708
<i>♪ Till every inch of us just aches ♪</i>

2531
01:37:13.708 --> 01:37:15.583
<i>♪ Gonna do lines, gonna pop tabs ♪</i>

2532
01:37:15.583 --> 01:37:17.458
<i>♪ Ingest everything we grab ♪</i>

2533
01:37:17.458 --> 01:37:19.250
<i>♪ Cook some meth, how 'bout black tar ♪</i>

2534
01:37:19.250 --> 01:37:23.875
<i>♪ While giving hand jobs in the car ♪</i>

2535
01:37:23.875 --> 01:37:25.917
<i>♪ We're gonna get high, gonna get baked ♪</i>

2536
01:37:25.917 --> 01:37:27.875
<i>♪ Till every inch of us just aches ♪</i>

2537
01:37:27.875 --> 01:37:29.792
<i>♪ Gonna do lines, gonna pop tabs ♪</i>

2538
01:37:29.792 --> 01:37:31.583
<i>♪ Ingest everything we grab ♪</i>

2539
01:37:31.583 --> 01:37:33.500
<i>♪ Have some shrooms,</i>
<i>then smoke some crack ♪</i>

2540
01:37:33.500 --> 01:37:35.625
<i>♪ Chase the Dragon and shoot some smack ♪</i>

2541
01:37:35.625 --> 01:37:37.375
<i>♪ 'Cause the only thing</i>
<i>that matters when we ♪</i>

2542
01:37:37.375 --> 01:37:39.458
<i>♪ 'Cause the only thing that</i>
<i>matters when we ♪</i>

2543
01:37:39.458 --> 01:37:42.417
<i>♪ 'Cause the only thing</i>
<i>that matters is we get ♪</i>

2544
01:37:42.417 --> 01:37:45.542
<i>♪ So fucking ♪</i>

2545
01:37:46.208 --> 01:37:52.167
<i>♪ High ♪</i>