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Downloaded from
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Official YIFY movies site:
YTS.MX
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♪ serene music playing ♪
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♪
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[beeping]
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- I'm not a chicken. You're a turkey.
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NARRATOR:
This is your brain on drugs.
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- You gotta say no.
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MORGAN FREEMAN VOICE:
America, the not-so-distant future.
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[siren wailing, people clamoring]
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The economy is failing.
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A despondent society has turned
to self-medication.
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Road fatalities, crime,
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public disturbance, voice theft
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all at record highs.
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- Just say no.
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FREEMAN VOICE:
Something needed to be done.
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Congress bravely votes to establish
a modern day Prohibition.
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Zero tolerance policy was adopted.
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Overnight, the use, sale,
and manufacturing of all alcohol
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and narcotics of any kind became illegal.
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[prison door clangs]
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[birds chirping]
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Soon to emerge was
a better, sober America.
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Inebriation, once viewed
as socially appropriate,
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was now taboo,
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with just one exception.
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Once a year, the embargo is lifted.
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Narcotics once confiscated by police
are distributed to the highest bidder.
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For 12 hours every year,
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US citizens 18 and up are legally allowed
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to participate in bill A2904,
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known colloquially as simply
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"The Binge."
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♪ The Real McKenzies' Chip playing ♪
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God bless America.
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- ♪ Chip worked as a boatwright
as his father and his gran ♪
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♪ A-working in a boat yard
building on the River Thames ♪
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FREEMAN VOICE:
Studies show that providing this outlet
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to the populace just once a year
would combat their urge
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to indulge thereafter.
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[grunts]
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In fact only 23 percent of citizens
attempt a second binge.
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For a third, this number plummets
to just six percent.
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Psychologists predict this mechanism
may annihilate
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all clinical addiction by 2055.
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Whether or not you choose to participate
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or are merely an innocent bystander,
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no one is left unaffected by The Binge.
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[keyboard clacking]
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[school bell rings]
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- Good morning, American High.
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[cheering and applause]
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Flaming Eagles, I can't hear you!
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[students cheering loudly]
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As I said Flaming Eagles,
I can't hear you!
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[cheering and applause continue]
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[cheering and applause stops]
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For you seniors that are 18,
in T minus nine hours,
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you will be able to participate
in your very first Binge!
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- We're gonna get so fucked tonight!
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- Hags, you really gotta calm down, man,
you're gonna pull something.
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- Guys, I only got two hobbies.
Only two things I really spend my time on.
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That's my woodworking, my elves,
and that's making hummus.
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And the other thing I do is protect
the reputation of American High.
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- My mom told me she used
to drink wine from a box
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on the way home from work in college.
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- Ugh! We were born, like, way too late.
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- I can't control what you do out there,
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but I can make a suggestion
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as a concerned citizen and a mentor
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and give you some pretty good reasons
why we don't want you to Binge.
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- We've been prepping for this night
our entire lives.
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- I would fucking murder anyone
who gets in our way.
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- Now unfortunately for those of you
that do decide to Binge tonight,
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all the regular laws,
well, those are still in place,
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and breaking those laws have consequences.
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- Yeah, consequences like you playing
penis Jenga with his daughter!
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- Will you be quiet?
Lena almost heard you say penis Jenga.
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- Oh, I'm sorry, Lena almost heard me
say penis Jenga!
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- Hi, Lena.
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- See, bro, you gotta get her attention!
- I know.
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- I'm working on it. You just--
You gotta let me do it my way, you know.
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- By writing a confusing sonnet?
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- It's not a sonnet,
it's a series of haikus,
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and I'm asking her to prom today.
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- Yeah, okay, you've been saying that
every day for the past five months.
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Well, tonight we Binge.
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I'm gonna get you drunk enough
to finally make your move.
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- Yeah, except there's no way
Lena's Binge-ing,
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and if Carlsen found out I binged,
that'll be it.
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He would never let me near Lena again.
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- You know, Amy Bagman thought
it was rite of passage.
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She binged.
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And then a couple of uppers and downers
and siders into it
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she found herself on a private jet
with 12 "Saudi princes."
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Never to be heard from again.
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- Oh shit!
CARLSEN: Now, is she alive today?
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Is she dead?
Is she even worse off than that?
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Even her family can't answer
that question.
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Sad.
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- That's really what you want?
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- To be on a private jet?
Abso-fucking-lutely!
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One day, you'll have no one.
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All you'll have left is the memories.
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So you gotta make your life matter.
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CARLSEN: Let me assure you, I will spend--
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- Nothing matters.
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CARLSEN: Then there was Allen Reed
who was excited
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about getting accepted into Stanford
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until he was caught doing
the Brazilian tuck
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outside a TJ MAXX.
[students laughing]
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Yeah, laugh it up. It's fun, right?
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Maybe your name's Kimberly Jones?
[students whistling]
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- Oh! There's my setup.
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- Please don't say "I'll have
what she's having." Don't say that.
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- I have to say it,
because it's hilarious.
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- It's not hilarious--
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- It is hilarious, brother.
We went over this, okay.
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Make everyone in the assembly laugh,
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then we win the Gauntlet tonight
at the Library Party.
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- You fellas need wristbands
for the Library Party tonight?
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- We got some.
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CARLSEN:
But the jet-ski was still attached
to the dock, and it never took off.
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[students laughing]
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And then eventually
it exploded into flames.
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[students gasp]
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Now, Kimberly Jones is here tonight.
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Can you guys guess which one she is?
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I'll give you a hint. You're cold, cold.
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Getting warmer, getting warmer, red hot.
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Burning hot. That's Kimberly Jones.
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Wrapped up like a mummy because
she's ashamed of the way she looks.
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She works here at the high school.
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She makes the butterscotch pudding,
and she does a wonderful job.
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We're proud of you, Kim.
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And she's never really
allowed up before lunch
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because again, she's disgusting
and revolting to look at,
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and it'll make your stomach churn
and make you unable to eat.
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And on that note,
please stop emailing me, Kim,
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about the Fantas in the mini-fridge.
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I'm gonna explode.
I've said it to you six times.
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I wanna treat you like a lady today,
in front of everybody.
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'Cause you are one.
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I'd like to see everyone here go on
and have a bright future
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and not end up...
like some of the people that we've seen
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in front of us here today.
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[clears throat]
- I'll have what she's having!
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[chuckles]
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GIRL: What?
[students murmuring]
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- You'll have what who's having?
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- Fucking dork.
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- You'll have what
this burn victim's having?
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Are you drawing attention
to the burn victim?
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Kimberly Jones, who was tweaking
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and got burned from her face to her feet?
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And how do you think it makes
a burn victim feel
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when you single 'em out
in front of everybody?
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Kim, how's it make you feel?
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Does it make you this?
Does it make you happy?
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Right? Or does it make you this?
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I feel sad too.
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I feel sad for Kim.
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Sit down. You got
30 minute detention on Tuesday.
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You're gonna learn some empathy.
I'm gonna have you read
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about circus freaks, deformed people,
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and people with the kind of burns
that she has, how repulsive it is,
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and how hard it is to live with it.
HAGS: [whispering] Oh my god.
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- You'll get 'em next time, buddy.
- Oh my god.
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- Any questions?
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Can I get a cawww!
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ALL STUDENTS: [unenthusiastic] Caw!
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- Can I get a cawww!
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STUDENTS: [louder] Cawww!
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- Let's go learn.
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- My uncle said his friend would do,
like, a handstand
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on a barrel of beer until he choked.
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- Yeah. It's called a keg stand.
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GIRL: What's a keg?
[boy sighs]
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- Man, did I misread the room.
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- Oh, I thought it was funny.
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- Thank you, Andrew,
but I don't need your sympathies.
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I was just rejected by my peers,
and I'm in a bit of a fragile state.
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- [whispering] I heard if you do Molly
and drink a Mountain Dew,
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you start to see the future,
but it doesn't even pertain to you at all.
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BOY: Really?
- Yeah.
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- My older cousin saw
some random dude in Wisconsin's future.
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- Other Man's Future Syndrome. Sick.
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- I don't know, man. I worked
really hard to get into Brown.
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- Man, fuck college! What is this,
the '90s? We have the internet.
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- Even if I wanted to go,
our parents will never let us
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skip out on their tradition.
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- Look, Griffin.
I love our parents, right. I do.
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But I'm not spending another Binge
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at "Soda-Pop Game Night"
doing the Root Beer Goat.
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I won't do it.
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- What are you wearing?
You look like my bubbe's couch.
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- Okay, see, you know nothing
about style, right.
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You don't. Which is why I took the liberty
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00:08:36,750 --> 00:08:39,500
of getting you
your very first Gauntlet outfit.
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Here we go.
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Overalls, baby. Happy Binge, pal!
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GRIFFIN: FBF?
HAGS: Mm-hmm.
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First Binge forever!
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00:08:47,500 --> 00:08:50,250
- Hags, I'm not Binge-ing, man.
I'm definitely not wearing overalls.
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Please take them back. Please.
- Okay, see, you are Binge-ing,
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00:08:53,000 --> 00:08:55,083
and overalls are chick magnets, man.
208
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They say if you keep it tight up top,
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below the waist, it's anyone's guess.
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00:08:58,375 --> 00:09:00,125
- Who says that?
Who says that about overalls?
211
00:09:00,125 --> 00:09:02,083
- I do. And Lena's gonna love 'em!
212
00:09:02,083 --> 00:09:04,167
- I heard if you eat mushrooms
and sacrifice an animal,
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00:09:04,167 --> 00:09:06,125
your entire world turns into a musical.
214
00:09:07,792 --> 00:09:10,000
- There's no way that's true, Kathleen.
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00:09:10,000 --> 00:09:11,500
- Is that how you wanna end up?
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00:09:11,500 --> 00:09:13,375
PROTESTERS: Hey hey, ho ho--
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00:09:13,375 --> 00:09:15,000
GRIFFIN: Hell yeah, man, we can beat that.
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00:09:15,000 --> 00:09:18,083
When we win the Gauntlet tonight,
I want our names to be etched in stone.
219
00:09:18,083 --> 00:09:18,958
- Will you put that away?
220
00:09:18,958 --> 00:09:21,708
Principal Carlsen's gonna see it,
and there goes any shot I had with Lena.
221
00:09:21,708 --> 00:09:23,208
- Who gives a fuck, Griffin?
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00:09:23,208 --> 00:09:25,000
You think he'd want some scared kiss-ass
223
00:09:25,000 --> 00:09:27,875
who volunteers to clean up shits
in the chem lab date his daughter?
224
00:09:27,875 --> 00:09:29,667
No! He wants a man!
225
00:09:30,542 --> 00:09:32,000
Come on now.
Gotta you show you the closer.
226
00:09:33,292 --> 00:09:33,958
- The closer?
227
00:09:33,958 --> 00:09:36,375
- So you know my senior shop project
I told you I was working on?
228
00:09:36,375 --> 00:09:38,375
- Yeah, man, the one you had
the GoFundMe for
229
00:09:38,375 --> 00:09:40,292
when you were building
the reusable hydration systems
230
00:09:40,292 --> 00:09:41,250
for third world countries.
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00:09:41,250 --> 00:09:42,917
I was really proud of you for doing that.
232
00:09:42,917 --> 00:09:45,833
- Yeah, man, fuck hydration. I lied.
I put that money to much better use.
233
00:09:45,833 --> 00:09:47,500
- I donated $75.
234
00:09:47,500 --> 00:09:50,833
- Griffin, I give to you the most
important invention since the toilet,
235
00:09:50,833 --> 00:09:52,542
[tarp rustling]
The BoozeCycle!
236
00:09:53,250 --> 00:09:56,000
- Whoa, man. You built this?
- Yeah, man.
237
00:09:56,000 --> 00:09:57,792
- This is awesome.
238
00:09:57,792 --> 00:09:58,708
- Isn't it great?
239
00:09:58,708 --> 00:10:01,125
- Imagine if you put your mind
to something useful.
240
00:10:01,125 --> 00:10:03,792
- Useful? This is the most
useful thing I've ever done.
241
00:10:03,792 --> 00:10:06,083
Is it a car? Kind of.
242
00:10:06,083 --> 00:10:08,167
Is it a bicycle? Almost.
243
00:10:08,167 --> 00:10:09,792
Griffin, this thing fucks!
244
00:10:09,792 --> 00:10:11,583
- I mean, it does. It's really cool.
245
00:10:11,583 --> 00:10:14,667
It's just, how would we even pedal it
with two people? There's ten seats.
246
00:10:16,375 --> 00:10:18,333
- Hey, why you gotta be so negative, bro?
247
00:10:18,333 --> 00:10:21,792
- And El Pantera, that's just a myth.
Like Santa Claus.
248
00:10:21,792 --> 00:10:24,208
GRIFFIN: You know what , man. I'm sorry.
I don't mean to be a Debbie downer.
249
00:10:24,208 --> 00:10:27,542
I'm just-- I'm nervous, you know.
Aren't you scared? Like, at all?
250
00:10:27,542 --> 00:10:29,542
- Scared of what? Becoming a legend?
251
00:10:29,542 --> 00:10:31,625
- No, of just-- I don't know. Everything.
252
00:10:31,625 --> 00:10:33,958
Lena, Carlsen, alcohol poisoning,
253
00:10:33,958 --> 00:10:35,875
our lives turning into a musical.
254
00:10:35,875 --> 00:10:36,708
That sounds terrible.
255
00:10:36,708 --> 00:10:39,792
- Griffin, we'll be fine. I'll be
with you every step of the way.
256
00:10:39,792 --> 00:10:40,875
- That's what I'm scared about.
257
00:10:40,875 --> 00:10:42,708
- Ha ha. Oh, okay, you make jokes,
258
00:10:42,708 --> 00:10:44,292
but you don't realize that
I'm a human, with emotion,
259
00:10:44,292 --> 00:10:45,292
and it hurts my feelings.
260
00:10:45,292 --> 00:10:47,083
- I love you, okay. I really do.
261
00:10:47,083 --> 00:10:49,000
And I appreciate you
getting me a wristband
262
00:10:49,000 --> 00:10:51,208
and stealing from all those people
who desperately need clean water
263
00:10:51,208 --> 00:10:52,250
to build a BoozeCycle--
264
00:10:52,250 --> 00:10:53,292
- Which is awesome.
- It is,
265
00:10:53,292 --> 00:10:54,958
but I'm just gonna stick to tradition,
266
00:10:54,958 --> 00:10:57,625
do Root Beer Goat-Night with our parents,
and wake up tomorrow
267
00:10:57,625 --> 00:11:00,333
to continue my extended reign
as mayor of Virgin City.
268
00:11:00,333 --> 00:11:01,708
- Good to know, Mr. Mayor!
269
00:11:02,250 --> 00:11:03,958
- Lena! Hey.
270
00:11:03,958 --> 00:11:05,750
- Lena, please don't call him Mr. Mayor.
271
00:11:05,750 --> 00:11:07,083
Mr. Mayor is his father.
272
00:11:07,083 --> 00:11:09,667
I like to refer to my brother here
as Babe: Pig In The City.
273
00:11:09,667 --> 00:11:11,833
- Hmm.
- Because he's got
the thickest hog in the game.
274
00:11:11,833 --> 00:11:12,375
- That's not--
275
00:11:12,375 --> 00:11:14,375
- I've never once heard anyone
refer to him as Babe,
276
00:11:14,375 --> 00:11:15,875
and I've known him since preschool.
277
00:11:15,875 --> 00:11:18,000
- That's 'cause they whisper it to him.
- They don't do that.
278
00:11:18,000 --> 00:11:18,833
They don't whisper anything.
279
00:11:18,833 --> 00:11:22,083
- So, you whisper "Babe"
into Griffin's ear
280
00:11:22,083 --> 00:11:24,083
because he has
the thickest hog in the game?
281
00:11:26,500 --> 00:11:29,250
- Okay, Lena. This is weird now.
Right? So I'm gonna go.
282
00:11:30,333 --> 00:11:32,708
Lena. Babe.
283
00:11:35,750 --> 00:11:37,000
- I have a normal-sized hog,
284
00:11:37,375 --> 00:11:39,500
probably no different than the next one.
285
00:11:39,500 --> 00:11:41,000
Not that I've seen,
286
00:11:41,000 --> 00:11:45,417
uh, but naturally you do find yourself
in positions where you see other hogs
287
00:11:45,417 --> 00:11:47,625
and in those situations, I found that...
288
00:11:48,208 --> 00:11:49,333
my hog is...
289
00:11:50,250 --> 00:11:52,042
comparable, if not the same
290
00:11:52,583 --> 00:11:53,875
in thickness to those--
291
00:11:54,250 --> 00:11:55,500
- That's good to know.
292
00:11:56,417 --> 00:11:59,708
Um... so are you gonna Binge?
293
00:12:00,417 --> 00:12:02,042
- After your dad's speech?
294
00:12:02,042 --> 00:12:04,333
You'd have to be a certified dip-shit
to go out tonight.
295
00:12:04,333 --> 00:12:06,542
- Well, I guess I'm the mayor
of Dip-Shit City
296
00:12:06,542 --> 00:12:08,708
'cause I'm seriously thinking about it.
297
00:12:09,333 --> 00:12:10,375
- Me too, by the way.
298
00:12:10,375 --> 00:12:13,417
I was completely joking before
about the dip-shit thing. That's--
299
00:12:14,083 --> 00:12:15,167
But, um...
300
00:12:17,125 --> 00:12:19,000
- Griff, is everything okay?
301
00:12:19,000 --> 00:12:20,375
- It is. Uh--
302
00:12:23,208 --> 00:12:25,375
You know how our moms used
to go to Zumba class together?
303
00:12:25,375 --> 00:12:28,958
- Yeah! Yeah, we used to play
fake house in the kid's room.
304
00:12:28,958 --> 00:12:32,500
To this day, no one makes
fake French toast as good as you.
305
00:12:32,500 --> 00:12:35,792
- And no one did our fake taxes for
our fake mortgage better than you, so--
306
00:12:35,792 --> 00:12:37,000
- And now we're fake home owners!
307
00:12:37,333 --> 00:12:39,292
- That fake debt collector
won't stop hounding me!
308
00:12:39,292 --> 00:12:41,458
[laughing]
309
00:12:41,458 --> 00:12:44,167
Um, anyways, I was just thinking how
310
00:12:44,167 --> 00:12:45,417
we've always been in each other's lives.
311
00:12:45,417 --> 00:12:47,750
- Yeah.
- And, um,
312
00:12:47,750 --> 00:12:48,750
Lena, I was wondering if--
313
00:12:48,750 --> 00:12:49,875
[Lena shrieks]
314
00:12:49,875 --> 00:12:50,792
- Oh my god!
315
00:12:50,792 --> 00:12:52,333
What is this?
316
00:12:52,333 --> 00:12:54,708
"This promposal you can't ignore,
317
00:12:54,708 --> 00:12:56,083
"because there's still so much more.
318
00:12:56,083 --> 00:12:57,875
"Let's laugh and be merry,
because the next clue you'll find
319
00:12:57,875 --> 00:12:58,917
"at the Carnegie Library!
320
00:12:58,917 --> 00:13:01,250
Here's hoping you will attend,
and while you're at it, bring a friend!"
321
00:13:01,250 --> 00:13:02,292
Holy shit!
322
00:13:02,875 --> 00:13:05,667
Griffin, did you do this?
323
00:13:06,208 --> 00:13:07,083
- Um--
324
00:13:08,417 --> 00:13:09,792
- Are you kidding me? Oh my god!
325
00:13:09,792 --> 00:13:11,250
When did this happen
and why didn't you tell me?
326
00:13:11,250 --> 00:13:14,250
- No, no, no, it is happening right now.
You are witnessing it.
327
00:13:14,250 --> 00:13:15,625
- This is awesome.
- Who do you think did it?
328
00:13:15,625 --> 00:13:18,042
- I don't know! Um, Max Keiser?
329
00:13:18,042 --> 00:13:19,417
- Maybe it was Ian Greenstein?
330
00:13:19,417 --> 00:13:20,875
- Ian Greenstein? Yeah, he--
331
00:13:20,875 --> 00:13:22,708
He liked your tweet 18 months ago
like a total creep.
332
00:13:22,708 --> 00:13:24,167
I bet it's Ian Greenstein.
- So many guys!
333
00:13:24,167 --> 00:13:25,542
- I know!
- Exciting.
334
00:13:25,917 --> 00:13:28,792
- Holy shit! This is huge. They sold out
for this, like, six months ago.
335
00:13:28,792 --> 00:13:31,875
- Griffin, would you be
the ultimate friend and take a pic?
336
00:13:31,875 --> 00:13:32,833
- Totally.
- Thank you!
337
00:13:32,833 --> 00:13:34,208
- Yeah, I can do that.
- Thank you!
338
00:13:35,250 --> 00:13:36,875
- Say "Ian Greenstein.'
339
00:13:36,875 --> 00:13:38,542
BOTH: Ian Greenstein!
340
00:13:38,542 --> 00:13:39,792
- You guys are gonna really like that.
341
00:13:39,792 --> 00:13:41,125
- Thank you so much.
- Of course.
342
00:13:42,583 --> 00:13:44,708
So that's-- So--
LENA: Okay, bye, Griffin.
343
00:13:45,375 --> 00:13:46,667
BECKY: Who do you think did this?
344
00:13:47,375 --> 00:13:49,417
[girls giggling]
345
00:13:52,500 --> 00:13:54,292
SARAH: The package
is basically fully stocked
346
00:13:54,292 --> 00:13:56,875
with, like, colorful frozen drinks
and tiny umbrellas.
347
00:13:56,875 --> 00:13:58,583
- I fucking love tiny umbrellas.
348
00:13:58,583 --> 00:14:00,333
Do you think pink drinks, too, because
349
00:14:00,333 --> 00:14:03,000
[blowing trombone]
my grandmother's seen this show,
it's called Sex and the City,
350
00:14:03,000 --> 00:14:06,417
and they would just drink pink alcohol
and have meaningless sex
351
00:14:06,417 --> 00:14:08,833
with strangers of foreign descent.
352
00:14:08,833 --> 00:14:10,833
- I would do disgusting things
to a foreign guy tonight.
353
00:14:10,833 --> 00:14:12,500
- Hmm.
- I'm talking full spit roast.
354
00:14:12,875 --> 00:14:13,792
[clattering]
355
00:14:13,792 --> 00:14:15,958
[students shouting]
356
00:14:15,958 --> 00:14:17,167
HAGS: Oh my god, I'm so sorry.
357
00:14:17,167 --> 00:14:18,792
- Hags, what the hell is wrong with you?
358
00:14:18,792 --> 00:14:22,625
- I'm so sorry, I just dropped my passport
somewhere around here earlier today.
359
00:14:22,625 --> 00:14:25,167
I'm just trying to get right back
to the motherland right after I graduate.
360
00:14:26,542 --> 00:14:27,583
BOTH: What?
361
00:14:28,417 --> 00:14:29,375
- Oh, my homeland.
362
00:14:29,375 --> 00:14:30,958
You know I'm
a hundred percent foreign, right?
363
00:14:30,958 --> 00:14:32,000
Like, from another place.
364
00:14:32,917 --> 00:14:37,125
Ha ha. Anyhoo, will I be seeing
you ladies at the Library Party tonight?
365
00:14:37,125 --> 00:14:38,917
- You're going to the Library Party?
366
00:14:38,917 --> 00:14:40,792
- Hell yeah I'm going
to the Library Party.
367
00:14:40,792 --> 00:14:42,958
And I'm hoping that you'll check me out.
368
00:14:43,333 --> 00:14:44,917
- For what purpose?
- Excuse me.
369
00:14:44,917 --> 00:14:46,708
- Uh, isn't that a saying?
370
00:14:47,083 --> 00:14:49,292
- No, it's not.
Words have consequences, Hags.
371
00:14:49,958 --> 00:14:52,042
- Okay, that's what it is.
It's the language barrier thing.
372
00:14:52,042 --> 00:14:53,583
That's what... that's what it was.
373
00:14:53,583 --> 00:14:56,292
Because I'm from another place.
I'm fully foreign.
374
00:14:57,208 --> 00:14:58,708
- Have you ever even been on a plane?
375
00:14:58,708 --> 00:15:00,583
- Hell yeah I've been on a plane.
376
00:15:00,583 --> 00:15:02,000
Ha ha. Of course.
377
00:15:02,500 --> 00:15:04,833
I'm actually a current cardholder
of the mile high club.
378
00:15:04,833 --> 00:15:06,500
- Oh yeah?
- And the big dick club.
379
00:15:07,083 --> 00:15:08,500
- [gasps] Really?
HAGS: Mm-hmm.
380
00:15:08,500 --> 00:15:09,958
- Well, why don't you whip it out
and show us?
381
00:15:09,958 --> 00:15:11,833
- Mmm. You see, I would,
382
00:15:12,833 --> 00:15:15,083
but they keep the band room real cold.
383
00:15:15,083 --> 00:15:17,292
It's not really a accurate depiction
of my genitalia.
384
00:15:17,292 --> 00:15:18,042
BOTH: Hmm.
385
00:15:18,042 --> 00:15:18,917
- That's what I thought.
386
00:15:18,917 --> 00:15:20,083
Virgin.
387
00:15:20,083 --> 00:15:21,833
This is dry.
- Okay.
388
00:15:23,917 --> 00:15:25,208
CARLSEN: Chad, how are we?
389
00:15:25,625 --> 00:15:27,333
Kurt, how come I never see you
with your shorts off?
390
00:15:27,333 --> 00:15:28,750
Seem a little locker room shy.
- KURT: S-- Sir--
391
00:15:28,750 --> 00:15:30,083
- Wanna see how a man walks around
the locker room?
392
00:15:30,083 --> 00:15:31,500
KURT: Um--
- Wanna take a look at it?
393
00:15:31,500 --> 00:15:33,833
I'll pull my pants down, I'll go take
a shit, I'll get in the shower.
394
00:15:33,833 --> 00:15:34,583
You wanna watch it?
395
00:15:34,583 --> 00:15:37,333
Whatever it is, get comfortable with it.
It ain't going away.
396
00:15:37,333 --> 00:15:39,125
Let's get behind those ears,
okay, Bennett?
397
00:15:39,125 --> 00:15:40,792
BENNETT: Yes, sir.
- That's where the germs live
and they reproduce.
398
00:15:40,792 --> 00:15:41,917
BENNETT: Got it.
- Don't be a pussy.
399
00:15:42,250 --> 00:15:43,917
Chin up. Griffin, my man, how are you?
400
00:15:43,917 --> 00:15:44,958
- How's it going, Principal Carlsen?
401
00:15:44,958 --> 00:15:47,667
- Well, I'm always a little bit on edge
when it comes to Binge night,
402
00:15:47,667 --> 00:15:49,625
people get pushed to their moral limits.
- Me too.
403
00:15:49,625 --> 00:15:51,375
I, I can't believe people Binge.
404
00:15:51,833 --> 00:15:53,250
- One shake and you're done, Tommy!
405
00:15:53,250 --> 00:15:54,875
No one wants to watch
your dickplay in here.
406
00:15:54,875 --> 00:15:57,667
At your age, you're a hair-trigger.
You're liable to blow all over the place.
407
00:15:57,667 --> 00:15:59,958
Have a story about you for the rest
of your life. You want that?
408
00:16:01,000 --> 00:16:02,125
Put the dick down.
409
00:16:02,125 --> 00:16:03,042
TOMMY: Okay.
410
00:16:03,042 --> 00:16:05,875
- You know, Griffin, uh, Lena says
some really nice things about you.
411
00:16:06,542 --> 00:16:07,125
- She does?
412
00:16:07,125 --> 00:16:09,250
- Yeah. She says that you're nice,
that you work hard,
413
00:16:09,250 --> 00:16:11,667
that you have
pretty terrific table manners.
414
00:16:12,083 --> 00:16:13,667
You know, I'll tell you, Griff,
415
00:16:14,125 --> 00:16:17,583
I'm pretty okay
with... my daughter being friends
416
00:16:17,583 --> 00:16:19,417
with a nice Brown man.
417
00:16:21,333 --> 00:16:22,792
Let me walk that back just a little bit.
418
00:16:23,167 --> 00:16:25,792
That's not the kind of quote
that you want taken out of context.
419
00:16:27,667 --> 00:16:30,292
Congratulations on getting into
a great university, Brown.
420
00:16:30,292 --> 00:16:32,958
- Thank you, sir. And thank you again
for making that call to Dean Eckhouse.
421
00:16:32,958 --> 00:16:34,000
It really made all the difference.
422
00:16:34,000 --> 00:16:36,417
- Well, Griff, you know,
when you have a history of
423
00:16:36,417 --> 00:16:38,458
recommending
outstanding guys, like yourself,
424
00:16:38,458 --> 00:16:40,042
they tend to listen to you.
425
00:16:40,292 --> 00:16:42,875
And by the same token, if you ask them
to rescind someone they're thinking about,
426
00:16:42,875 --> 00:16:45,000
they go ahead and they listen loud
and clear on that as well.
427
00:16:47,250 --> 00:16:49,542
Since we're talking
about scratching each other's backs,
428
00:16:49,542 --> 00:16:51,542
I have just the smallest little itch
429
00:16:51,542 --> 00:16:53,500
I was wondering if you could get
your fingernails on.
430
00:16:53,500 --> 00:16:56,625
It's called where the fuck
is the party tonight?
431
00:16:56,625 --> 00:17:00,875
Sarah Martin's "Dank-Ass Pre-Game"
is already on my radar.
432
00:17:00,875 --> 00:17:03,375
I understand they're thinking
of smoking a little bit of pot.
433
00:17:03,375 --> 00:17:05,625
Maybe some Lean? A little Purple Drank.
434
00:17:05,625 --> 00:17:07,375
You know what I'm talking about?
- Oh, I do, but I wouldn't.
435
00:17:07,375 --> 00:17:10,375
I personally wouldn't sniff glue
or drink Purple Drank
436
00:17:10,375 --> 00:17:12,042
or just associate
with Sarah Martin at all.
437
00:17:12,042 --> 00:17:12,792
- Well, that's good.
438
00:17:12,792 --> 00:17:14,208
That bitch has chaotic energy.
439
00:17:14,208 --> 00:17:15,792
She's like a scorpion in a toaster.
440
00:17:18,417 --> 00:17:20,417
Anyway, the point is
if you hear of anything--
441
00:17:20,417 --> 00:17:21,292
- Of course.
442
00:17:21,875 --> 00:17:23,000
- Fair?
- Totally fair.
443
00:17:23,792 --> 00:17:25,875
- Fair?
- Fair. Very fair.
444
00:17:25,875 --> 00:17:26,750
[wristband clicks]
445
00:17:27,125 --> 00:17:28,208
- The hell is--
446
00:17:32,542 --> 00:17:35,000
- Principal Carlsen, I-- Um--
447
00:17:35,500 --> 00:17:38,083
[clears throat]
It's a funny story, I-- Uh--
448
00:17:38,083 --> 00:17:40,375
[clears throat] I--
- Oh.
449
00:17:41,333 --> 00:17:44,917
Oh. Actually, Principal Carlsen,
that's not Griffin's.
450
00:17:44,917 --> 00:17:46,333
No, see, I found that in the hallway,
451
00:17:46,333 --> 00:17:48,500
and I gave it to Griffin
to hold onto it for me.
452
00:17:48,500 --> 00:17:50,417
Yeah, I just had no idea what it was.
453
00:17:50,417 --> 00:17:53,000
Could it be tickets
to a renaissance fair or...
454
00:17:53,667 --> 00:17:54,625
a petting zoo.
455
00:17:56,750 --> 00:17:57,833
GRIFFIN: Yeah.
456
00:17:57,833 --> 00:17:59,167
- You gentlemen be safe tonight.
457
00:17:59,167 --> 00:17:59,917
- Yes, sir.
458
00:18:00,333 --> 00:18:01,542
- And Hags, do me a favor.
459
00:18:02,458 --> 00:18:04,708
Try to find a nickname
that's a little bit more normal.
460
00:18:04,708 --> 00:18:06,375
Something like Lucas or Quan.
461
00:18:07,750 --> 00:18:09,167
I'll see you Tuesday? Thirty minutes?
462
00:18:09,167 --> 00:18:11,125
Thank you, Quan. Griff.
463
00:18:13,542 --> 00:18:15,208
David, thank your brother
for the meatloaf.
464
00:18:15,208 --> 00:18:15,833
DAVID: Yes, sir.
465
00:18:16,583 --> 00:18:17,917
- Whoa, thank Christ.
466
00:18:17,917 --> 00:18:18,792
CARLSEN: Oh, Griffin?
- Yup.
467
00:18:18,792 --> 00:18:21,000
- You know, there's a prank turd
in the chemistry lab.
468
00:18:21,000 --> 00:18:23,583
I was wondering if you could be an angel,
sweep in and scoop that up.
469
00:18:23,583 --> 00:18:24,583
- I would love to do that.
470
00:18:25,500 --> 00:18:26,417
- Thank you, Quan.
471
00:18:29,417 --> 00:18:31,458
[door opens, closes]
472
00:18:32,125 --> 00:18:34,417
- Fuck! Quan?
473
00:18:34,417 --> 00:18:35,875
Who the fuck is Quan?
474
00:18:35,875 --> 00:18:38,042
[school bell rings]
475
00:18:38,042 --> 00:18:40,917
FREEMAN VOICE: And so it begins.
[students chattering excitedly]
476
00:18:40,917 --> 00:18:44,042
As school lets out, sirens pierce the air,
[siren wailing]
477
00:18:44,042 --> 00:18:48,000
informing the civilian population
of what's to come.
478
00:18:48,000 --> 00:18:50,417
For some, a warning.
479
00:18:50,417 --> 00:18:53,042
To those not participating, to get home,
480
00:18:53,042 --> 00:18:56,208
bunker down, and pray for safety.
481
00:18:56,583 --> 00:18:59,583
For others, it's the sound of celebration,
482
00:18:59,583 --> 00:19:01,667
excess, freedom.
483
00:19:02,708 --> 00:19:05,542
Underground competitions
known as Gauntlets
484
00:19:05,542 --> 00:19:07,375
capture the nation's attention.
485
00:19:07,833 --> 00:19:10,958
Creating local legends in those who win
486
00:19:10,958 --> 00:19:14,417
and lasting memories for all who compete.
487
00:19:14,417 --> 00:19:16,583
ALL: Ten, nine
488
00:19:16,583 --> 00:19:18,917
eight, seven, six,
489
00:19:18,917 --> 00:19:21,167
five, four,
490
00:19:21,167 --> 00:19:23,875
three, two, one!
491
00:19:23,875 --> 00:19:26,208
- Yahtzee!
[laughter]
492
00:19:26,208 --> 00:19:27,208
Whoo!
493
00:19:27,708 --> 00:19:28,667
Yeah.
494
00:19:28,667 --> 00:19:31,875
- Oh. To our sixth Binge Night Game Night!
495
00:19:31,875 --> 00:19:33,375
- Yep.
- What a great tradition!
496
00:19:33,375 --> 00:19:34,375
- This is fun.
497
00:19:34,375 --> 00:19:36,667
- It's just great being able to hang
with family on the night
498
00:19:36,667 --> 00:19:38,583
when nobody else is doing
anything awesome.
499
00:19:38,583 --> 00:19:42,000
- Oh, and we are just grateful
that you boys would rather--
500
00:19:42,000 --> 00:19:44,292
- Uh... men!
CHESTER: Excuse me.
501
00:19:44,292 --> 00:19:46,125
That you men
502
00:19:46,125 --> 00:19:50,292
would still rather pal around
with us middle - aged fogies
503
00:19:50,292 --> 00:19:53,167
than go out drinking with all
the other high school boys and girls.
504
00:19:53,167 --> 00:19:55,292
- Yeah, well, makes me hopeful
for the future.
505
00:19:55,292 --> 00:19:57,458
- Yep.
- Well, who's ready for round two?
506
00:19:58,042 --> 00:19:58,917
- Yeah.
507
00:19:58,917 --> 00:19:59,875
- We don't have to do
the thing again, Dad.
508
00:19:59,875 --> 00:20:00,917
We don't--
CHESTER: Oh no, let's do it.
509
00:20:00,917 --> 00:20:02,583
Root beer goat!
- Ha ha!
510
00:20:02,583 --> 00:20:04,458
[all bleating]
511
00:20:06,458 --> 00:20:08,125
- Ah, somebody didn't goat.
512
00:20:08,125 --> 00:20:08,583
[gasps]
513
00:20:08,583 --> 00:20:09,958
- Well, everybody goated so I--
514
00:20:09,958 --> 00:20:11,542
- Come on, son, you do the best goat.
515
00:20:11,542 --> 00:20:12,625
- I do a very normal goat.
- No, you--
516
00:20:12,625 --> 00:20:14,125
- Come on, give us a goat!
517
00:20:14,125 --> 00:20:15,792
Give us a goat!
- You're so good.
518
00:20:15,792 --> 00:20:17,333
[high-pitched bleating]
519
00:20:17,333 --> 00:20:18,792
[laughter]
STACY: You got it.
520
00:20:18,792 --> 00:20:19,958
- This is what I'm talking about.
521
00:20:19,958 --> 00:20:21,417
- That's a damn good goat!
522
00:20:22,250 --> 00:20:25,083
So, Griffin, I heard you're going to prom
with the Principal's daughter?
523
00:20:25,083 --> 00:20:26,042
GRIFFIN: Oh.
PAUL: Prom.
524
00:20:26,042 --> 00:20:28,708
- Yeah, I, I was,
but somebody else already asked.
525
00:20:28,708 --> 00:20:29,875
[sympathetic groans]
526
00:20:29,875 --> 00:20:31,292
- That's too bad.
KARYN: I'm so sorry.
527
00:20:31,292 --> 00:20:32,458
- Oh, it's okay, Ma.
528
00:20:32,458 --> 00:20:34,292
Most, most people
probably don't even remember
529
00:20:34,292 --> 00:20:35,250
who they went to prom with.
530
00:20:35,250 --> 00:20:36,083
- Exactly.
531
00:20:36,083 --> 00:20:37,708
- Unh-unh, you're looking at him.
532
00:20:38,792 --> 00:20:42,250
He was so nervous when he asked me.
533
00:20:42,250 --> 00:20:44,583
He had written a little poem out
and everything.
534
00:20:44,583 --> 00:20:46,167
He didn't even end up reading it.
535
00:20:47,042 --> 00:20:48,917
- Well, for what it's worth,
I always thought
536
00:20:48,917 --> 00:20:50,792
you and Lena made an adorable couple.
537
00:20:51,250 --> 00:20:53,000
Do you want me to call her father?
- That's okay, Dad.
538
00:20:53,000 --> 00:20:54,625
- No, no, no, I'm not afraid to call him.
- I am.
539
00:20:54,625 --> 00:20:55,958
You don't have to do that.
- No, you shouldn't be.
540
00:20:55,958 --> 00:20:57,000
- I don't think you should do that.
541
00:20:57,000 --> 00:20:58,292
CHESTER: Okay. Okay.
GRIFFIN: I appreciate that.
542
00:20:58,833 --> 00:21:01,750
- Hey, everybody. What's happening here?
543
00:21:01,750 --> 00:21:02,792
Too early to fall asleep.
544
00:21:02,792 --> 00:21:05,500
I bought Big Bang Theory Clue.
545
00:21:05,500 --> 00:21:06,792
- Big Bang.
CHESTER: Mm-hmm.
546
00:21:06,792 --> 00:21:07,417
Let me get this straight,
547
00:21:07,417 --> 00:21:09,750
Sheldon... kills--
548
00:21:09,750 --> 00:21:11,292
- Penny.
CHESTER: Penny.
549
00:21:11,667 --> 00:21:13,792
In the library?
550
00:21:13,792 --> 00:21:14,583
- No.
- The lab.
551
00:21:14,583 --> 00:21:15,500
- The lab.
552
00:21:16,208 --> 00:21:19,083
With a... Galaxy 6, 6S
553
00:21:19,083 --> 00:21:19,833
- Galaxy--
554
00:21:19,833 --> 00:21:22,000
- Eh, 6, Salaxy 6--
555
00:21:24,042 --> 00:21:26,000
[snoring]
556
00:21:26,000 --> 00:21:26,958
- Bazinga.
557
00:21:28,333 --> 00:21:29,417
- Mom. Mom?
558
00:21:29,917 --> 00:21:30,583
Dad?
559
00:21:30,583 --> 00:21:32,167
Dad? Dad? Paul?
560
00:21:32,167 --> 00:21:32,917
[Paul snoring]
GRIFFIN: Stacy?
561
00:21:32,917 --> 00:21:34,750
HAGS: Come on, Griffin,
let's get the hell out of here!
562
00:21:34,750 --> 00:21:35,917
- What the-- Wait, what the hell is this?
563
00:21:36,292 --> 00:21:37,625
Hags, did you do something?
564
00:21:37,625 --> 00:21:40,125
- No! I just gave them
a couple sleeping pills.
565
00:21:40,125 --> 00:21:41,667
- You roofied our parents?
566
00:21:41,667 --> 00:21:44,750
- I did not roofie our parents.
The pills were in their medicine cabinet.
567
00:21:44,750 --> 00:21:45,917
- This is crazy!
- Griffin!
568
00:21:45,917 --> 00:21:48,042
Your parents are spooning.
My dad is snoring.
569
00:21:48,042 --> 00:21:49,292
Mom's asleep. Let's go!
- No!
570
00:21:49,292 --> 00:21:50,917
Tha-- I'm not going. I'm not leaving.
571
00:21:50,917 --> 00:21:53,042
You have a wristband, that's it, okay.
572
00:21:53,042 --> 00:21:54,042
You go without me.
573
00:21:54,708 --> 00:21:55,500
- Go without you?
574
00:21:55,917 --> 00:21:57,917
- Lena's gonna meet
her promposal mate there anyway.
575
00:21:57,917 --> 00:21:59,500
I don't want to witness that.
576
00:22:00,375 --> 00:22:03,083
- Griffin, I was lying
when I said I wasn't scared.
577
00:22:03,083 --> 00:22:04,042
I am scared.
578
00:22:04,375 --> 00:22:06,792
But I'm not scared about
what's gonna happen tonight.
579
00:22:06,792 --> 00:22:08,500
I'm scared about
what's gonna happen after tonight.
580
00:22:09,417 --> 00:22:10,625
You're going to Brown.
581
00:22:10,958 --> 00:22:13,542
And I'm gonna be stuck here
working at Chuck E. Cheese.
582
00:22:13,542 --> 00:22:14,958
And that's life, Griff.
583
00:22:15,375 --> 00:22:19,625
Look, you go and you beat that
Dr. Seuss promposal asshole to the punch.
584
00:22:19,625 --> 00:22:21,042
You look Lena in the eyes and tell her
585
00:22:21,042 --> 00:22:23,417
exactly what you've wanted
to tell her your entire life.
586
00:22:23,917 --> 00:22:26,125
Tonight we become legends, Griffin.
587
00:22:26,125 --> 00:22:28,500
We go to that party
and we win that Gauntlet.
588
00:22:29,125 --> 00:22:32,083
This is our last chance
to make a great memory.
589
00:22:34,083 --> 00:22:35,833
- Wow! That was really good.
590
00:22:36,250 --> 00:22:37,583
That was good.
- Thanks.
591
00:22:37,583 --> 00:22:38,750
- Did you practice that?
592
00:22:38,750 --> 00:22:40,708
- A couple of times. Yeah.
593
00:22:44,708 --> 00:22:45,875
- Ughhh!
594
00:22:45,875 --> 00:22:47,708
- I know that groan!
595
00:22:47,708 --> 00:22:49,500
- Ah, I still don't have a wristband.
596
00:22:50,417 --> 00:22:52,458
What is that? Hags, why are you winking?
597
00:22:52,875 --> 00:22:54,125
GRIFFIN: Man,
I just don't know about this.
598
00:22:54,125 --> 00:22:56,375
I haven't been over to Andrew's house
since, like, the second grade
599
00:22:56,375 --> 00:22:58,000
when his mom did that thing
with the mousetrap.
600
00:22:58,000 --> 00:23:00,083
- Who cares? He said
he has extra wristbands.
601
00:23:00,083 --> 00:23:02,125
You need a wristband. Ring the bell.
602
00:23:02,792 --> 00:23:04,958
[doorbell ringing]
603
00:23:04,958 --> 00:23:05,917
GRIFFIN: Should we call him?
604
00:23:05,917 --> 00:23:07,292
HAGS: He don't believe in phones.
605
00:23:08,292 --> 00:23:10,792
[door creaking]
606
00:23:10,792 --> 00:23:11,667
- Hello?
607
00:23:12,500 --> 00:23:14,000
- Hello?
- Hello, hello.
608
00:23:14,750 --> 00:23:16,042
- Hello? Andrew?
609
00:23:17,125 --> 00:23:18,167
Hello?
610
00:23:22,333 --> 00:23:23,833
Hi, Mrs. Hellmuth?
611
00:23:23,833 --> 00:23:25,000
- What do you want?
612
00:23:25,375 --> 00:23:28,000
- Uh, sorry for barging
in your home like this.
613
00:23:28,000 --> 00:23:29,125
Is Andrew here?
614
00:23:30,375 --> 00:23:31,250
- Andrew?
615
00:23:32,083 --> 00:23:33,208
My, uh--
616
00:23:33,208 --> 00:23:34,542
- Your--
- Your son.
617
00:23:35,000 --> 00:23:36,958
- Yeah. Son.
618
00:23:37,917 --> 00:23:39,208
You're looking for him?
619
00:23:39,208 --> 00:23:41,292
- Uh, yes, ma'am.
It's kind of an emergency.
620
00:23:43,750 --> 00:23:44,875
- You guys cops?
621
00:23:45,417 --> 00:23:46,583
- No.
- No.
622
00:23:46,583 --> 00:23:48,542
GRIFFIN: We're just--
We're in high school.
623
00:23:49,625 --> 00:23:51,042
- Griffin? Hags?
624
00:23:51,042 --> 00:23:52,792
HAGS: Andrew!
ANDREW: Holy shi--
625
00:23:52,792 --> 00:23:54,708
Uh, it's okay, Mom. These are my friends.
626
00:23:54,708 --> 00:23:56,125
- Your friends? Yeah, right.
627
00:23:56,125 --> 00:23:58,083
- I have friends, Mom!
Why don't you believe me?
628
00:23:58,083 --> 00:23:59,958
- Why don't I believe
that you have friends?
629
00:23:59,958 --> 00:24:02,750
Probably because your tendency
towards violence
630
00:24:02,750 --> 00:24:04,833
caused us to be banned
from the fucking church.
631
00:24:04,833 --> 00:24:07,375
- You didn't give me
my calming pills! That's why.
632
00:24:07,375 --> 00:24:11,500
- I canceled our family trip to Reno
to pay for your freaking calming pills!
633
00:24:11,500 --> 00:24:12,750
Why do you think your father left?
634
00:24:12,750 --> 00:24:14,667
ANDREW: You said my dad left
to pursue his dreams.
635
00:24:14,667 --> 00:24:17,000
- His only dream was to leave this house.
636
00:24:17,000 --> 00:24:18,417
Happy Binge!
637
00:24:19,208 --> 00:24:21,167
- Fuck you, Mom!
638
00:24:21,167 --> 00:24:24,958
I'll bury you behind a Jiffy Lube.
And my friends are gonna help me!
639
00:24:24,958 --> 00:24:26,667
- We will not be doing that.
- We're not, we're not gonna do that.
640
00:24:26,667 --> 00:24:27,750
- I mean, I don't even know him now.
641
00:24:27,750 --> 00:24:31,083
- You think I'm afraid
of a couple of puto cops?
642
00:24:31,083 --> 00:24:34,375
I spent 18 years in a Bangkok prison
643
00:24:34,375 --> 00:24:36,875
hanging upside down from my labia.
644
00:24:36,875 --> 00:24:38,833
Two of those years,
I was pregnant with you.
645
00:24:38,833 --> 00:24:42,083
- That's not even true, Mom.
Who are you trying to impress?
646
00:24:42,083 --> 00:24:44,500
- Take these two guys up to my room
647
00:24:44,500 --> 00:24:46,958
and show them the Chai Ming Fist Bump.
648
00:24:46,958 --> 00:24:48,000
BOTH:
I don't wanna see that.
649
00:24:48,000 --> 00:24:49,417
- What the fuck does that even mean, Mom?
650
00:24:49,417 --> 00:24:53,000
- I'll burn that tongue if you ever speak
to me that way again.
651
00:24:53,000 --> 00:24:53,750
- Do it!
652
00:24:54,125 --> 00:24:54,667
[flesh sizzling]
653
00:24:54,667 --> 00:24:57,042
[both screaming]
654
00:24:59,542 --> 00:25:00,708
DEIDRE: Dinner's in ten.
655
00:25:00,708 --> 00:25:03,250
I love you!
- I love you, too!
656
00:25:03,250 --> 00:25:04,083
- Give Mommy a kiss.
657
00:25:10,625 --> 00:25:11,708
- [lisping]
I'm so sorry about that, guys.
658
00:25:11,708 --> 00:25:13,958
- My mom, she just loves
showing off in front of my friends.
659
00:25:13,958 --> 00:25:14,792
[laughing]
660
00:25:14,792 --> 00:25:16,458
- Listen, Andrew,
we're in a bit of a rush.
661
00:25:16,458 --> 00:25:18,833
Uh, we just wanted to know
how much we would have to pay you
662
00:25:18,833 --> 00:25:20,250
for those wristbands
you said you can get us?
663
00:25:20,250 --> 00:25:23,000
- Well, currency is an illusion
influenced by a false reality.
664
00:25:23,458 --> 00:25:25,083
I live my life on a bartering system.
665
00:25:25,083 --> 00:25:26,458
- Okay, we can work with that.
- Oh.
666
00:25:26,458 --> 00:25:27,417
- So what do you want?
667
00:25:28,375 --> 00:25:29,708
- To be your wingman tonight.
668
00:25:29,708 --> 00:25:31,500
- Well, of course you can, man.
- Really?
669
00:25:31,500 --> 00:25:33,500
- Yeah. That's--
- Whoa, wait a minute.
670
00:25:33,958 --> 00:25:35,667
You see, me and Griffin, we're a duo.
671
00:25:35,667 --> 00:25:37,875
We've never been a trio.
- What are you doing?
672
00:25:38,500 --> 00:25:39,958
- Right. Right, right, right. Okay, okay.
673
00:25:39,958 --> 00:25:42,042
- Andrew, do you mind if Griffin
and I just have a sidebar over here.
674
00:25:42,042 --> 00:25:43,042
Not about you, at all.
675
00:25:43,042 --> 00:25:44,542
Is that okay? Thank you.
- What's going on?
676
00:25:44,542 --> 00:25:47,125
- Whoa, we can't bring him, bro.
He's not helping our cool factor.
677
00:25:47,125 --> 00:25:49,875
- And you're doing wonders for
our cool factor bringing bonus overalls?
678
00:25:49,875 --> 00:25:52,708
Look, Lena has a wristband.
Sarah has a wristband! I need a wristband!
679
00:25:52,708 --> 00:25:54,875
And having another person to pedal
that monstrosity outside
680
00:25:54,875 --> 00:25:56,292
wouldn't hurt either.
HAGS: Fine.
681
00:25:56,292 --> 00:25:58,000
Fine. Andrew.
682
00:25:58,000 --> 00:25:59,792
- Yes.
- We're back. Sorry.
683
00:25:59,792 --> 00:26:00,500
- Uh-huh.
684
00:26:00,500 --> 00:26:01,375
What--
- You're in.
685
00:26:01,375 --> 00:26:03,208
- Yeah, you can be our wingman tonight.
686
00:26:03,208 --> 00:26:03,750
- What?
687
00:26:03,750 --> 00:26:04,625
GRIFFIN: Yeah.
HAGS: Yes.
688
00:26:05,083 --> 00:26:05,500
- What?
689
00:26:05,500 --> 00:26:07,000
- Oh-kay.
690
00:26:07,000 --> 00:26:08,292
GRIFFIN: Yeah. It's all right.
ANDREW: Oh my god!
691
00:26:08,667 --> 00:26:09,958
Wow! Uh--
692
00:26:11,542 --> 00:26:14,792
I swear... I will not let you guys down.
693
00:26:14,792 --> 00:26:16,042
- How 'bout those wristbands?
694
00:26:16,417 --> 00:26:17,708
- Ah, yes.
695
00:26:17,708 --> 00:26:19,333
Actually, I 3D printed them.
696
00:26:19,333 --> 00:26:21,000
I 3D print a lot of stuff.
697
00:26:21,000 --> 00:26:22,667
- Oh, awesome, man. These things--
698
00:26:23,208 --> 00:26:24,750
- Andrew, these are purple.
699
00:26:24,750 --> 00:26:26,500
The Library Party wristbands are orange.
700
00:26:27,083 --> 00:26:29,417
- Yes. Hags, that is
a very good observation.
701
00:26:29,417 --> 00:26:32,917
You see, unfortunately,
the guy I usually barter with,
702
00:26:32,917 --> 00:26:34,625
he was all out of the orange filament so--
703
00:26:34,625 --> 00:26:36,875
- Well, that doesn't help us at all.
- Right, right, right. Uh--
704
00:26:37,583 --> 00:26:39,250
My twin brother Seb has real ones.
705
00:26:39,250 --> 00:26:41,292
- Seb? "The Ice Russian?"
706
00:26:42,208 --> 00:26:44,417
Didn't he go to juvie for stabbing
some guy with a screwdriver?
707
00:26:44,417 --> 00:26:45,833
- Wait, he's your twin brother?
708
00:26:45,833 --> 00:26:47,167
- Yeah. From a different father.
709
00:26:49,625 --> 00:26:51,000
- Excuse me.
- What?
710
00:26:51,708 --> 00:26:54,042
- Heteropaternal superfecundation.
711
00:26:56,208 --> 00:26:57,417
It's actually pretty common.
712
00:26:57,417 --> 00:27:00,042
You see, it's when a woman allows
two random sexual partners
713
00:27:00,042 --> 00:27:02,875
to ejaculate inside of her
during a special two-egg ovulation.
714
00:27:03,292 --> 00:27:06,958
Yeah. And then she has fraternal twins
from two different fathers.
715
00:27:06,958 --> 00:27:11,000
So I have a... half-twin brother.
Or a full twin half-brother.
716
00:27:11,542 --> 00:27:14,208
Halfernal for short. He's actually--
He's, uh, six days older than me.
717
00:27:15,000 --> 00:27:17,667
I was thinking we'd do the old switcheroo.
718
00:27:19,167 --> 00:27:21,083
All right,
just follow my bullshit.
719
00:27:21,083 --> 00:27:22,875
Okay, guys, listen to me.
720
00:27:22,875 --> 00:27:25,125
No matter what he says, do not sit down.
721
00:27:29,167 --> 00:27:31,750
- Hello! How are you?
722
00:27:31,750 --> 00:27:33,542
Uh, I'm Hags. This is Griffin.
723
00:27:34,375 --> 00:27:35,375
You know Andrew.
724
00:27:38,875 --> 00:27:39,958
That's a real beer.
725
00:27:41,750 --> 00:27:42,917
SEB: The fuck is it?
726
00:27:45,833 --> 00:27:46,792
- Go, go.
727
00:27:49,875 --> 00:27:50,708
[dart pops]
728
00:27:51,750 --> 00:27:53,000
- Ah, little brother.
729
00:27:54,000 --> 00:27:54,750
What are you doing here?
730
00:27:54,750 --> 00:27:56,083
I thought you vowed
never to talk to me again
731
00:27:56,083 --> 00:27:58,542
after I made you eat all that tinsel
off the Christmas tree.
732
00:27:58,542 --> 00:28:00,208
- Time heals all wounds, brother.
733
00:28:00,208 --> 00:28:01,833
- Ah, there's always time to make another.
[rips]
734
00:28:01,833 --> 00:28:03,333
- Whoa. Okay. All right.
[dart pops]
735
00:28:03,333 --> 00:28:05,375
Guys, I think we're really getting off
on the wrong foot here.
736
00:28:05,375 --> 00:28:06,375
- Are you cops?
737
00:28:06,375 --> 00:28:09,333
- We are literally in the same grade.
Why does everyone think we're cops?
738
00:28:09,333 --> 00:28:10,458
- I don't really know.
[dart pops]
739
00:28:10,458 --> 00:28:13,000
Oh! Uh, speaking of
the Library Party tonight,
740
00:28:13,000 --> 00:28:15,792
we have these really cool
purple VIP wristbands,
741
00:28:15,792 --> 00:28:16,958
but we don't know where the entrance is.
742
00:28:16,958 --> 00:28:18,792
- Yeah, we can't find
any information online.
743
00:28:18,792 --> 00:28:22,292
- Yes. So, we just figured a couple top
cool all-stars like yourselves would know.
744
00:28:23,000 --> 00:28:24,667
- VIP?
HAGS: Yes.
745
00:28:27,833 --> 00:28:28,583
- Have a seat.
746
00:28:30,958 --> 00:28:32,208
- We're standers.
- Sit!
747
00:28:32,208 --> 00:28:33,958
- Yeah, we can do that.
- Sure.
748
00:28:40,375 --> 00:28:41,333
[snorts]
749
00:28:42,167 --> 00:28:42,958
- Ohh!
750
00:28:45,833 --> 00:28:46,625
Jersey Turnpike?
751
00:28:47,375 --> 00:28:48,708
- Jersey Turnpike?
752
00:28:48,708 --> 00:28:50,458
- Half a line of protein,
half a line of creatine.
753
00:28:50,458 --> 00:28:52,000
- That's not even drugs?
- Yeah, why would I wanna do that?
754
00:28:52,000 --> 00:28:52,667
I don't wanna do that.
755
00:28:52,667 --> 00:28:54,708
- If you're not a narc, then you
wouldn't mind doing a Jersey Turnpike.
756
00:28:54,708 --> 00:28:55,167
[airhorn blares]
- Oh!
757
00:28:55,167 --> 00:28:56,708
Dude, do the Jersey Turnpike.
758
00:28:57,042 --> 00:28:58,417
[sniffs deeply]
759
00:29:01,292 --> 00:29:04,208
- Whoa... [stammers] that burns a lot.
760
00:29:04,208 --> 00:29:05,042
- Yeah, baby!
761
00:29:05,875 --> 00:29:06,958
So let me get this straight.
762
00:29:07,958 --> 00:29:10,917
You come into my personal space
with your purple wristbands
763
00:29:10,917 --> 00:29:13,125
and this talk of VIP.
764
00:29:13,125 --> 00:29:14,958
You think you're what, just gonna,
765
00:29:17,000 --> 00:29:18,833
just waltz out of here?
766
00:29:18,833 --> 00:29:19,833
[airhorn blares]
- Oh!
767
00:29:22,667 --> 00:29:24,042
- Well, you got another thing coming,
768
00:29:27,167 --> 00:29:28,625
because I would love...
769
00:29:31,333 --> 00:29:33,000
to compensate you for those.
770
00:29:35,083 --> 00:29:36,000
Generously.
771
00:29:36,000 --> 00:29:36,917
- Yeah, that--
772
00:29:36,917 --> 00:29:38,042
- How's a grand sound?
773
00:29:38,042 --> 00:29:39,083
- Pssh.
- That works.
774
00:29:39,083 --> 00:29:40,417
- That's a pretty good deal.
- That's great.
775
00:29:40,417 --> 00:29:41,167
- Perfect for us.
- Huh?
776
00:29:41,167 --> 00:29:43,542
- 'Cause no offense,
'cause you're not really the VIP type.
777
00:29:44,917 --> 00:29:45,875
You stand out.
778
00:29:45,875 --> 00:29:47,292
- We totally agree.
779
00:29:47,292 --> 00:29:48,583
Thank you for being so honest.
780
00:29:48,583 --> 00:29:49,750
[airhorn blares]
Oh-kay!
781
00:29:49,750 --> 00:29:52,083
This guy, man. He really likes that thing.
782
00:29:52,083 --> 00:29:54,667
- Okay, so if you guys are good,
I think we're good. We're definitely good.
783
00:29:54,667 --> 00:29:56,500
So I think then that's it.
I think that's it then.
784
00:29:56,500 --> 00:29:59,083
So we'll just swap our VIP wristbands
for your normal ones. And that's good.
785
00:29:59,083 --> 00:30:00,333
These are for you.
- Thank you, Seb.
786
00:30:00,333 --> 00:30:01,750
Give my boy the cash, all right.
787
00:30:01,750 --> 00:30:04,667
It was nice doing business with you.
- Oh, oh, I just have one more question.
788
00:30:04,667 --> 00:30:05,708
Come on.
789
00:30:07,125 --> 00:30:09,042
- It's a secret.
- It's... it's--
790
00:30:11,917 --> 00:30:13,042
- Ahh!
HAGS: Whoa! Whoa!
791
00:30:13,042 --> 00:30:14,083
- You think I'm fucking stupid?
792
00:30:14,083 --> 00:30:15,250
- No, sir! No, we do not.
SEB: Huh?
793
00:30:15,250 --> 00:30:16,333
[groans]
SEB: You come in here.
794
00:30:16,333 --> 00:30:17,750
You try to take the Gauntlet win from us?
795
00:30:17,750 --> 00:30:18,542
You got--
[mini-crossbow whooshes]
796
00:30:19,708 --> 00:30:20,833
Oww!
797
00:30:21,792 --> 00:30:24,250
Oh fuck! Ow!
798
00:30:24,250 --> 00:30:27,208
Wha-- No! What the fuck? Oh, you shot me!
799
00:30:27,208 --> 00:30:28,167
- Now let me friend go!
800
00:30:28,167 --> 00:30:29,333
- I'm not touching him. He's over there.
801
00:30:29,333 --> 00:30:30,667
- Let him go!
802
00:30:30,667 --> 00:30:31,667
- I'm not even near him!
803
00:30:31,667 --> 00:30:33,167
- Give me the wristbands
804
00:30:33,167 --> 00:30:34,667
or the next one's in the breadbasket,
805
00:30:34,667 --> 00:30:35,833
I fucking swear to God!
806
00:30:35,833 --> 00:30:36,917
- Give it to him. Give it to him.
807
00:30:36,917 --> 00:30:37,917
Okay, good. Calm down--
808
00:30:39,042 --> 00:30:41,167
[screams]
GRIFFIN: Oh.
809
00:30:43,083 --> 00:30:45,125
- Oh my god! You shot my dick!
810
00:30:45,125 --> 00:30:46,417
You shot my dick!
811
00:30:46,417 --> 00:30:48,708
- Oh!
- All right, motherfuckers.
812
00:30:48,708 --> 00:30:50,708
- He shot my penis.
- You shot his penis.
813
00:30:50,708 --> 00:30:52,375
- There's gonna be--
- Oww! What the--
814
00:30:52,375 --> 00:30:53,667
- I'm sorry. I'm so sorry, Hags.
815
00:30:53,667 --> 00:30:55,875
- Goddammit! You shot me in my neck!
816
00:30:55,875 --> 00:30:56,708
- God, I don't want to look at it.
817
00:30:56,708 --> 00:30:57,792
ANDREW: I didn't mean to! I'm sorry.
818
00:30:57,792 --> 00:30:58,792
- We gotta go!
819
00:30:58,792 --> 00:31:00,208
- Don't pull it out! Don't pull it out!
820
00:31:00,208 --> 00:31:01,583
GRIFFIN: Go! Go! Go!
HAGS: Go!
821
00:31:01,583 --> 00:31:02,250
- Get 'em!
822
00:31:02,250 --> 00:31:04,542
GRIFFIN: We got the wristbands.
Let's go. We got 'em.
823
00:31:04,542 --> 00:31:06,125
ANDREW: I'm sorry!
824
00:31:06,125 --> 00:31:07,458
HAGS: What the fuck?
825
00:31:07,458 --> 00:31:08,000
SEB: Come on, get 'em!
826
00:31:08,875 --> 00:31:10,083
HAGS: Pump it!
MAN: I'm gonna kick your ass!
827
00:31:10,083 --> 00:31:12,458
- It's right on the shaft.
It's right on the shaft.
828
00:31:14,750 --> 00:31:15,750
ANDREW: Did we lose them?
829
00:31:15,750 --> 00:31:16,750
GRIFFIN: Do you think we can stop?
830
00:31:16,750 --> 00:31:18,208
HAGS: Ow.
GRIFFIN: I think we're good.
831
00:31:18,208 --> 00:31:19,458
HAGS: Owww!
GRIFFIN: I think we can stop!
832
00:31:21,583 --> 00:31:22,458
Oh!
833
00:31:22,833 --> 00:31:23,667
Oh, that was crazy.
834
00:31:24,500 --> 00:31:25,292
HAGS: Ahh!
835
00:31:26,000 --> 00:31:26,958
Oww!
836
00:31:26,958 --> 00:31:28,583
All right. We're okay.
837
00:31:28,583 --> 00:31:29,875
- That was so crazy.
838
00:31:29,875 --> 00:31:32,250
- I got a dart in my neck!
839
00:31:32,250 --> 00:31:33,917
I have a dart in my neck.
840
00:31:33,917 --> 00:31:36,292
- I'm sorry, Hags. I didn't mean to.
841
00:31:36,292 --> 00:31:37,875
- Griffin, what the fuck is on your face?
842
00:31:37,875 --> 00:31:39,917
- What?
HAGS: What's on your face?
843
00:31:39,917 --> 00:31:41,250
Oh! Oh my god.
844
00:31:41,250 --> 00:31:42,458
- I don't know, it's stuck.
845
00:31:42,458 --> 00:31:43,667
- You gotta rip it off.
HAGS: Holy--
846
00:31:43,667 --> 00:31:44,792
- Just rip it?
- Like a Band-Aid.
847
00:31:44,792 --> 00:31:48,042
- No, just take it off your-- Oh shit!
- Oh!
848
00:31:48,042 --> 00:31:52,250
Ohhh! Fuck you. That hurts so bad!
849
00:31:52,250 --> 00:31:53,292
ANDREW: You really went for it.
850
00:31:53,667 --> 00:31:55,250
- Why is there hair on the paper?
851
00:31:55,250 --> 00:31:56,667
HAGS: Okay, okay.
852
00:31:56,667 --> 00:31:58,375
- Andrew, did I just rip my eyebrow off?
853
00:31:59,292 --> 00:32:00,542
- No, not all of it.
854
00:32:00,542 --> 00:32:01,792
HAGS: Ohh!
855
00:32:01,792 --> 00:32:04,042
- Oh fuck! Uh--
856
00:32:04,042 --> 00:32:07,083
Okay. Okay. How long does it take
for an eyebrow to grow back?
857
00:32:07,750 --> 00:32:08,792
- Six to twelve months.
858
00:32:08,792 --> 00:32:10,708
- Months!
- Couple weeks to get one shipped.
859
00:32:10,708 --> 00:32:12,792
- I need serious medical attention here.
860
00:32:12,792 --> 00:32:15,417
- I can't talk to Lena like this.
I can't talk to Lena with one eyebrow.
861
00:32:15,417 --> 00:32:17,458
- You guys need
some Library Party wristbands?
862
00:32:17,458 --> 00:32:18,333
$50.
863
00:32:20,583 --> 00:32:22,458
- So, you guys need 'em?
I got 'em. Fifty bucks.
864
00:32:23,083 --> 00:32:23,917
- What?
865
00:32:24,333 --> 00:32:27,208
♪ jazz music playing on stereo ♪
866
00:32:29,250 --> 00:32:31,250
CARLSEN: I got the Tahini,
the green pepper.
867
00:32:31,667 --> 00:32:33,708
And finish it off with that limon.
868
00:32:34,542 --> 00:32:35,292
See what you think.
869
00:32:35,292 --> 00:32:36,042
- All right.
870
00:32:39,333 --> 00:32:40,208
Oh my god.
871
00:32:40,833 --> 00:32:43,167
That is the most perfect hummus as always.
872
00:32:43,167 --> 00:32:45,042
- That's just a hobby. It's pretty good.
873
00:32:46,042 --> 00:32:48,833
- Um... think I'm gonna
go upstairs and study,
874
00:32:48,833 --> 00:32:49,625
get ready for bed.
875
00:32:49,625 --> 00:32:50,417
- Study?
876
00:32:51,167 --> 00:32:52,917
Well, you already got into Brown.
877
00:32:52,917 --> 00:32:55,500
You should be having some fun.
You're not gonna be a teenager forever.
878
00:32:55,500 --> 00:32:58,458
- Uh... maybe tomorrow night, Dad.
879
00:32:58,458 --> 00:32:59,750
- All right. Well, you're gonna have
a hard time sleeping.
880
00:32:59,750 --> 00:33:00,708
I've laid a piece of wood out,
881
00:33:00,708 --> 00:33:03,375
and I'm gonna carve
one of those gnome walking sticks.
882
00:33:03,375 --> 00:33:05,667
I know they're ugly bastards,
but I'm drawn to them.
[Lena chuckles]
883
00:33:06,042 --> 00:33:07,667
- I like 'em.
- You get some rest.
884
00:33:07,667 --> 00:33:08,667
- Okay.
885
00:33:08,667 --> 00:33:10,292
- Change your mind, we got
a bowl of hummus down here.
886
00:33:10,292 --> 00:33:12,125
[tires screeching]
887
00:33:12,125 --> 00:33:14,292
[objects clattering]
888
00:33:14,292 --> 00:33:17,042
Get off my lawn,
you tweaking son of a bitch!
889
00:33:17,667 --> 00:33:19,000
I'll come out there and bu--
890
00:33:19,000 --> 00:33:20,000
WOMAN: Who the hell you talking to?
891
00:33:20,000 --> 00:33:21,708
- I'm so sorry, Mrs. Clarkson.
892
00:33:21,708 --> 00:33:23,458
I thought you were a Binger. My fault.
893
00:33:23,458 --> 00:33:25,250
Come on over. I got some hummus for you.
894
00:33:27,000 --> 00:33:27,625
MAN: Whoo!
895
00:33:31,292 --> 00:33:33,125
GRIFFIN: You guys really think
this looks okay?
896
00:33:33,125 --> 00:33:35,042
- Honestly, I think
it's better than before.
897
00:33:35,042 --> 00:33:37,458
ANDREW: Wow. You are an artist, Hags.
898
00:33:37,458 --> 00:33:38,583
HAGS: Thank you, Andrew,
899
00:33:38,583 --> 00:33:39,958
you crazy son of a bitch.
900
00:33:39,958 --> 00:33:41,000
You know, you were awesome back there.
901
00:33:41,000 --> 00:33:41,833
- You really were, man.
902
00:33:41,833 --> 00:33:44,500
- Really?
- Yeah, you were all like,
"Oh, let my friends go!"
903
00:33:44,500 --> 00:33:45,292
- That was crazy!
904
00:33:45,292 --> 00:33:47,625
- Yeah. Like a modern day Moses!
905
00:33:47,625 --> 00:33:48,375
- Sure.
906
00:33:48,917 --> 00:33:50,750
- Oh, Seb's gonna murder me
907
00:33:50,750 --> 00:33:52,250
and you guys too at some point,
908
00:33:52,250 --> 00:33:54,583
but net-net, I think it was worth it.
909
00:33:54,583 --> 00:33:56,625
- Three whiskey shots.
910
00:33:56,625 --> 00:33:58,500
Enjoy!
911
00:33:58,500 --> 00:33:59,625
Happy Binge.
912
00:34:00,042 --> 00:34:01,167
Sick brow!
GRIFFIN: Oh.
913
00:34:01,167 --> 00:34:02,125
- Told you!
914
00:34:02,125 --> 00:34:03,625
- Thank you, ma'am.
915
00:34:03,625 --> 00:34:06,042
- Um, maybe we should just get
to the party, you know.
916
00:34:06,042 --> 00:34:06,792
Beat the rush.
917
00:34:06,792 --> 00:34:09,583
- We are not trying to get
discount printers on Black Friday.
918
00:34:09,583 --> 00:34:10,167
To the Binge!
919
00:34:10,167 --> 00:34:11,792
- But what if promposal guy
beats me there?
920
00:34:11,792 --> 00:34:15,125
- Lena is not there yet.
I can promise you that, okay.
921
00:34:15,125 --> 00:34:16,875
Plus, you don't wanna go dead sober.
922
00:34:16,875 --> 00:34:18,000
Which is why I brought you here,
923
00:34:18,000 --> 00:34:19,500
because you get all locked up around her.
924
00:34:19,500 --> 00:34:21,208
Right? To the Binge!
925
00:34:21,208 --> 00:34:22,917
- Hags is absolutely right, by the way.
926
00:34:22,917 --> 00:34:25,083
People are more likely
to have sex while on drugs.
927
00:34:25,625 --> 00:34:28,458
My mom got pregnant with Seb
and I while she was on cat tranquilizer.
928
00:34:28,792 --> 00:34:30,000
- Why did we ever stop hanging out?
929
00:34:30,458 --> 00:34:32,250
- That's a funny story, Hags.
930
00:34:32,250 --> 00:34:34,542
Remember Greg Olivotti's
roller rink party,
931
00:34:34,542 --> 00:34:37,333
where you guys convinced me
to do the Mambo No. 5 shuffle?
932
00:34:37,333 --> 00:34:40,375
Well, I crashed into Christina Barnes
and dislocated her shoulder,
933
00:34:40,375 --> 00:34:43,167
and then she couldn't go
to the cheer finals in Fort Lauderdale.
934
00:34:43,167 --> 00:34:44,958
They ended up losing,
and everyone blamed me.
935
00:34:45,583 --> 00:34:46,958
Then I come to find out
there's no such thing
936
00:34:46,958 --> 00:34:48,667
as the Mambo No. 5 shuffle to begin with.
937
00:34:49,500 --> 00:34:51,250
That kind of changed
the course of my life.
938
00:34:51,958 --> 00:34:53,917
- Wow. I totally forgot about that.
939
00:34:53,917 --> 00:34:55,208
- Yeah. Me too.
940
00:34:55,208 --> 00:34:57,083
Sorry about that, man.
- I'm really sorry, man.
941
00:34:57,083 --> 00:34:58,833
- It's okay. I mean,
hey, we're together now.
942
00:34:58,833 --> 00:34:59,625
That's all that matters.
943
00:34:59,625 --> 00:35:01,500
It just means that we're gonna have
to pack half a decade
944
00:35:01,500 --> 00:35:02,792
of could-have-beens into one night!
945
00:35:02,792 --> 00:35:03,958
- Amen to that!
946
00:35:03,958 --> 00:35:06,083
- Okay, I'll have a drink.
I don't want to embarrass myself.
947
00:35:06,083 --> 00:35:07,125
But then we really need to go.
948
00:35:07,125 --> 00:35:09,750
- To our first sip of alcohol.
949
00:35:10,333 --> 00:35:11,250
To the Binge.
950
00:35:11,250 --> 00:35:12,083
- Yeah.
951
00:35:12,083 --> 00:35:13,792
- Cheers, fellas.
- Okay.
952
00:35:13,792 --> 00:35:14,667
Uhh!
953
00:35:17,208 --> 00:35:19,708
[all groaning]
954
00:35:23,833 --> 00:35:24,750
- Another round?
955
00:35:24,750 --> 00:35:25,917
- Absolutely!
956
00:35:25,917 --> 00:35:27,792
- I'm gonna go to the bathroom.
- I'll have some celery sticks!
957
00:35:28,458 --> 00:35:30,500
♪ Hitchhiker's NADA playing ♪
958
00:35:30,500 --> 00:35:34,417
♪
959
00:35:38,583 --> 00:35:42,667
♪
960
00:35:46,000 --> 00:35:50,458
♪
961
00:35:50,458 --> 00:35:52,500
ANNOUNCER: Bingers. Bingers. Bingers!
962
00:35:52,500 --> 00:35:54,250
Come on down to the Carnegie Library
963
00:35:54,250 --> 00:35:56,375
for your chance to become
a part of history
964
00:35:56,375 --> 00:35:58,708
in this year's Gauntlet.
965
00:35:58,708 --> 00:36:01,667
Four grueling rounds of drug
and alcohol-infused competition
966
00:36:01,667 --> 00:36:03,625
of mind, body, and soul.
967
00:36:03,625 --> 00:36:06,083
You've heard the rumors, now live them.
968
00:36:06,083 --> 00:36:09,458
Maybe even see the return of
the Gauntlet's most legendary Valleyman.
969
00:36:09,458 --> 00:36:10,417
El Pantera.
970
00:36:10,417 --> 00:36:11,458
[panther snarls]
971
00:36:11,458 --> 00:36:14,167
One night only. This year's Gauntlet.
972
00:36:14,167 --> 00:36:17,250
Be there! And don't die!
973
00:36:17,250 --> 00:36:19,583
HAGS: [thinking] Gauntlet legends.
[urinating]
974
00:36:19,583 --> 00:36:21,917
What I wouldn't do to be up on this wall.
975
00:36:21,917 --> 00:36:25,375
[cell phone buzzing]
976
00:36:29,667 --> 00:36:30,792
Hags' hotline.
977
00:36:30,792 --> 00:36:32,125
- Hags? Hags?
- Hello, Hags.
978
00:36:32,875 --> 00:36:34,042
- Sarah. Hey!
979
00:36:34,042 --> 00:36:35,000
SARAH: Are you in a bathroom?
980
00:36:35,000 --> 00:36:36,542
- Yeah-- No, I'm not in a bathroom.
981
00:36:36,542 --> 00:36:40,875
I am at a Pre-Binge VIP Party.
982
00:36:40,875 --> 00:36:43,125
- Definitely looks like the bathroom
of a Whack-A-Doodle's.
983
00:36:43,875 --> 00:36:46,833
- Wow! That's crazy. I know, right?
984
00:36:46,833 --> 00:36:48,625
- I remember you saying that
you were going to the Library Party,
985
00:36:48,625 --> 00:36:50,292
and I was wondering
if you could pick us up.
986
00:36:50,292 --> 00:36:51,708
- Um, what happened to the limo?
987
00:36:51,708 --> 00:36:52,792
SARAH: He's, like, an hour late.
988
00:36:52,792 --> 00:36:54,625
Can you come pick us up please.
We really want to ride you!
989
00:36:55,167 --> 00:36:57,542
- What?
SARAH: I said, we really want
to ride with you.
990
00:36:58,458 --> 00:36:59,875
GRIFFIN: I don't get
why Lena'd be at Sarah's.
991
00:36:59,875 --> 00:37:01,500
ANDREW: Everyone's at Sarah's.
992
00:37:01,500 --> 00:37:04,167
It's the official unofficial
pre-game party.
993
00:37:04,167 --> 00:37:05,958
BOY 1: Hey! Who's the lucky bachelorette?
994
00:37:05,958 --> 00:37:07,417
BOY 2: Mazel tov, nerds.
995
00:37:07,417 --> 00:37:09,750
GRIFFIN: Maybe we should pull over for
a little bit and just collect ourselves.
996
00:37:09,750 --> 00:37:10,917
HAGS: No, fellas, we're almost there.
997
00:37:10,917 --> 00:37:11,833
GRIFFIN: I'm gonna throw up.
998
00:37:12,375 --> 00:37:13,625
[wheezy breath]
999
00:37:13,625 --> 00:37:16,708
- You make me do this stupid shit,
and I'm supposed to be the mysterious one?
1000
00:37:16,708 --> 00:37:19,125
- Do you want to hit triple digit likes
or do you want to stay in the low 60s
1001
00:37:19,125 --> 00:37:20,542
like Erika Mendelson?
1002
00:37:20,542 --> 00:37:22,250
- What in the fuck is that?
1003
00:37:22,250 --> 00:37:23,625
HAGS: Ladies,
1004
00:37:23,625 --> 00:37:26,250
your chariot has arrived.
1005
00:37:26,250 --> 00:37:27,917
- Ew, what happened to your eyebrow?
1006
00:37:27,917 --> 00:37:29,375
- He's got cancer. Next question?
1007
00:37:29,375 --> 00:37:30,083
- I don't have cancer.
1008
00:37:30,542 --> 00:37:32,833
HAGS: He's just being modest.
- Have you guys seen Lena at all?
1009
00:37:32,833 --> 00:37:34,208
- I don't know who that is.
- Who the fuck is Lena?
1010
00:37:34,208 --> 00:37:36,750
- She smells good.
- Ladies, you guys know Andrew, right?
1011
00:37:36,750 --> 00:37:38,333
- You're Ice Russian's twin.
1012
00:37:38,333 --> 00:37:40,167
Didn't you set the lacrosse field on fire?
1013
00:37:40,167 --> 00:37:42,333
- Uhh, somebody had to do it.
[clears throat]
1014
00:37:43,083 --> 00:37:43,583
- Cool.
1015
00:37:44,125 --> 00:37:47,417
- Listen, ladies, check it out,
we got, we got ten seats.
1016
00:37:47,917 --> 00:37:49,292
Eleven, if you count my face.
1017
00:37:49,292 --> 00:37:50,375
- What do you mean by that?
1018
00:37:51,417 --> 00:37:52,667
HAGS: There's a whole squad of y'all,
1019
00:37:53,125 --> 00:37:55,417
and there just might not be enough seats.
1020
00:37:55,958 --> 00:37:58,917
- Sorry, Hags. Our limo driver called.
He's gonna be here any minute.
1021
00:37:59,583 --> 00:38:01,708
- But... but we came
all this way to rescue you.
1022
00:38:01,708 --> 00:38:04,708
- It's just that being in a limo
sounds like a lot more fun than...
1023
00:38:05,917 --> 00:38:07,042
whatever that thing is.
1024
00:38:07,875 --> 00:38:09,583
- Hey, do you think we could ride
with you guys?
1025
00:38:09,583 --> 00:38:10,708
This thing is super hard to pedal.
1026
00:38:10,708 --> 00:38:13,000
- I'm so sorry, our seats are spoken for.
1027
00:38:13,000 --> 00:38:15,917
- Do you know how many people die
in limos per year?
1028
00:38:15,917 --> 00:38:17,792
Right? If you think
a regular car accident is bad,
1029
00:38:17,792 --> 00:38:20,708
now imagine you with 19
of your best friends
1030
00:38:20,708 --> 00:38:22,583
all dying at the same time?
1031
00:38:22,583 --> 00:38:24,292
Right? Think of your families.
1032
00:38:24,292 --> 00:38:26,958
Wouldn't that be awful? Just awful.
1033
00:38:27,333 --> 00:38:29,708
They will never recover
from this type of trauma.
- Hags! Hags! Hags!
1034
00:38:29,708 --> 00:38:30,833
Hags!
- What?
1035
00:38:30,833 --> 00:38:32,292
[indiscernible]
1036
00:38:32,292 --> 00:38:33,083
- Fuck!
1037
00:38:33,083 --> 00:38:34,542
HAGS: Oh no!
GIRL: Bye!
1038
00:38:34,542 --> 00:38:36,417
HAGS: My life's work.
GRIFFIN: No! No!
1039
00:38:36,417 --> 00:38:37,875
Oh no!
1040
00:38:37,875 --> 00:38:39,458
HAGS: No! Fuck! Fuck!
1041
00:38:39,458 --> 00:38:40,083
GRIFFIN: Oh no.
1042
00:38:40,083 --> 00:38:41,333
[tires screeching]
Oh god!
1043
00:38:41,333 --> 00:38:42,167
ANDREW: Oh no!
1044
00:38:42,750 --> 00:38:44,542
- Nooo!
1045
00:38:44,542 --> 00:38:46,208
GRIFFIN: How did it turn like that?
1046
00:38:47,125 --> 00:38:48,792
[Hags sobbing]
1047
00:38:48,792 --> 00:38:51,250
♪ pop music playing in distance ♪
1048
00:38:52,583 --> 00:38:53,583
Uh--
ANDREW: Guys!
1049
00:38:53,583 --> 00:38:54,417
[tires screeching]
1050
00:38:56,792 --> 00:38:57,792
GRIFFIN: Oh shit!
1051
00:38:57,792 --> 00:38:58,833
No!
1052
00:39:00,750 --> 00:39:01,583
ALL: Hey!
1053
00:39:01,583 --> 00:39:03,167
GRIFFIN: Wait.
HAGS: Hey! Hey!
1054
00:39:03,167 --> 00:39:05,625
We're saved. We're saved!
1055
00:39:05,625 --> 00:39:06,750
[girls cheering]
HAGS: Wait!
1056
00:39:06,750 --> 00:39:07,583
Yes!
GRIFFIN: Wait.
1057
00:39:07,583 --> 00:39:09,375
HAGS: Wait
[girls continue cheering]
1058
00:39:09,375 --> 00:39:10,417
Sarah!
GRIFFIN: Don't go.
1059
00:39:10,417 --> 00:39:12,042
No! No!
HAGS: Hey!
1060
00:39:12,500 --> 00:39:14,708
Goddammit!
1061
00:39:15,208 --> 00:39:16,292
[cell phone beeps]
1062
00:39:16,292 --> 00:39:17,042
Shit!
1063
00:39:17,542 --> 00:39:19,125
[tires screeching]
1064
00:39:19,125 --> 00:39:19,792
- It's Lena.
1065
00:39:20,417 --> 00:39:22,333
She just texted from the party.
She asked how long till we're there.
1066
00:39:22,333 --> 00:39:23,542
- Soon!
- How?
1067
00:39:23,542 --> 00:39:25,250
- We'll figure it out, okay.
We'll get there.
1068
00:39:25,250 --> 00:39:27,833
Just stall! Tell her
we're picking up some booze.
1069
00:39:27,833 --> 00:39:29,333
Or actually some presents!
1070
00:39:29,333 --> 00:39:30,958
Chicks love presents.
ANDREW: And astrology.
1071
00:39:31,292 --> 00:39:33,333
Just tell her that you're a Leo!
That's why you're getting the presents.
1072
00:39:33,333 --> 00:39:34,375
- I'm a Virgo, though.
1073
00:39:34,375 --> 00:39:36,708
- That's even better. That means that
your emotions rise with the tides!
1074
00:39:36,708 --> 00:39:37,917
- How do you know so much about astrology?
1075
00:39:37,917 --> 00:39:39,583
- I had a pen-pal that went to Space Camp.
1076
00:39:39,583 --> 00:39:41,583
- Wait, okay, that's a really good idea.
Let me think. Let me think for a second.
1077
00:39:41,583 --> 00:39:44,000
Uh... uh... "I'm at Sarah's.
1078
00:39:44,000 --> 00:39:46,208
"I'm just getting you presents
1079
00:39:46,208 --> 00:39:47,458
because I'm a Virgo." Send.
1080
00:39:47,458 --> 00:39:48,667
- Nice.
- Yeah?
1081
00:39:48,667 --> 00:39:50,208
HAGS: Proud of you.
- Thanks, guys.
1082
00:39:50,208 --> 00:39:51,125
- Proud of you.
1083
00:39:53,042 --> 00:39:54,833
- It autocorrected to
"I'm gonna get you pregnant
1084
00:39:54,833 --> 00:39:55,833
because I'm a virgin!"
1085
00:39:55,833 --> 00:39:57,500
Fuck!
- Oh no.
1086
00:39:57,500 --> 00:39:59,250
- I'm sorry. Typo.
1087
00:39:59,250 --> 00:40:00,125
Auto--
1088
00:40:00,708 --> 00:40:01,292
[cell phone chimes]
1089
00:40:01,292 --> 00:40:03,125
Fuck! I doubled down.
- Damn!
1090
00:40:03,125 --> 00:40:05,417
- Fuck! Wait, there's bubbles,
there's bubbles, she's typing.
1091
00:40:07,083 --> 00:40:08,708
The bubbles went away.
Why'd the bubbles go away?
1092
00:40:08,708 --> 00:40:10,250
Guys, this is really, really bad.
What do I do?
1093
00:40:10,250 --> 00:40:12,458
- You relax. You wait for her
to respond, right?
1094
00:40:12,458 --> 00:40:14,167
She might be into it.
You gotta gauge her temperature.
1095
00:40:14,167 --> 00:40:16,125
- It said, "getting pregnant."
Why would she be into that?
1096
00:40:16,125 --> 00:40:18,375
- Just, like, keep tapping it.
It might go away.
1097
00:40:18,375 --> 00:40:19,625
♪ dance music playing in distance ♪
1098
00:40:20,542 --> 00:40:21,417
HAGS: Oh my god.
1099
00:40:21,417 --> 00:40:22,625
- Oh shit.
- Yes!
1100
00:40:22,625 --> 00:40:25,125
Yes! See, I told you
she wouldn't leave us.
1101
00:40:25,125 --> 00:40:27,042
Come on! Hey, Sarah!
1102
00:40:27,042 --> 00:40:28,333
SARAH: You guys need a ride?
1103
00:40:28,333 --> 00:40:29,583
- Yes, please, thank you.
- That would be amazing. Please.
1104
00:40:29,583 --> 00:40:30,458
- Stop.
1105
00:40:31,250 --> 00:40:33,750
We'll give you a ride if you--
1106
00:40:33,750 --> 00:40:34,625
- Suck each other?
1107
00:40:37,500 --> 00:40:38,917
- Punch each other in the face.
1108
00:40:39,375 --> 00:40:40,167
What?
KIMMI: Yeah.
1109
00:40:40,167 --> 00:40:42,583
- Sarah, come on, please.
Just give us a ride.
1110
00:40:42,583 --> 00:40:44,333
Griffin's got to go ask
his girlfriend to prom.
1111
00:40:44,333 --> 00:40:45,625
- I'm not fucking kidding.
- Mm-mm.
1112
00:40:45,625 --> 00:40:47,208
- If you guys want to get in this car,
1113
00:40:47,208 --> 00:40:49,917
you need to punch each other in the faces
like you fucking mean it.
1114
00:40:49,917 --> 00:40:52,292
- Guys, guys, I've been punched
in the face before.
1115
00:40:52,292 --> 00:40:54,500
It's not so bad, okay.
Just picture the other guy naked.
1116
00:40:54,500 --> 00:40:56,250
- What? Guys, no. We're not punching
each other in the face.
1117
00:40:56,250 --> 00:40:57,625
- Griffin, this is our only ride.
1118
00:40:57,625 --> 00:40:59,708
- Sarah, this is crazy, right?
I mean, come on.
1119
00:40:59,708 --> 00:41:01,500
You don't actually want us
to punch each other in the face.
1120
00:41:01,500 --> 00:41:02,375
- Fuck these guys. Let's go.
1121
00:41:02,375 --> 00:41:03,250
- We'll do it. We'll do it.
1122
00:41:03,250 --> 00:41:05,208
HAGS: Okay, Sarah, we're gonna do it!
We're gonna do it!
1123
00:41:05,208 --> 00:41:07,708
Just punch me. Just punch me
and let's get this shit over with.
1124
00:41:07,708 --> 00:41:09,417
- That's so dumb.
- Remember drama camp class?
1125
00:41:09,417 --> 00:41:11,708
I'm gonna sell that shit to the left.
Bang. Right there.
1126
00:41:11,708 --> 00:41:12,958
Right there. Ready?
- Ready?
1127
00:41:12,958 --> 00:41:13,958
BOTH: One,
1128
00:41:14,417 --> 00:41:14,958
two--
1129
00:41:15,458 --> 00:41:17,042
GRIFFIN: Oww!
[girls laughing]
1130
00:41:17,042 --> 00:41:17,750
- What the fuck?
1131
00:41:17,750 --> 00:41:19,458
- Oh, why would you do that?
1132
00:41:19,458 --> 00:41:21,000
- Now it's over. It's not so bad, right?
1133
00:41:21,000 --> 00:41:23,542
- Bad. Very, very, very bad, Andrew. Fuck!
1134
00:41:23,542 --> 00:41:25,750
- The trick to getting punched in the face
is to not see it coming.
1135
00:41:25,750 --> 00:41:26,708
- That was my fucking ear!
1136
00:41:26,708 --> 00:41:28,417
HAGS: Okay. One down, two to go.
1137
00:41:28,417 --> 00:41:31,083
Andrew, I'm gonna punch you.
Griffin, you punch me.
1138
00:41:31,083 --> 00:41:31,750
- Okay.
- Ready?
1139
00:41:31,750 --> 00:41:32,833
ANDREW: Right.
- On the count of three.
1140
00:41:32,833 --> 00:41:34,708
- Got it.
- One, two, three--
1141
00:41:34,708 --> 00:41:38,417
Ow! What the fu-- Ow!
1142
00:41:38,417 --> 00:41:40,417
Is your head made out of a filing cabinet?
1143
00:41:40,417 --> 00:41:41,583
- Okay, now your turn, Hags!
1144
00:41:41,583 --> 00:41:43,708
- Okay. Okay. My turn.
- You ready?
1145
00:41:43,708 --> 00:41:45,250
- I'm ready. Here we go.
GRIFFIN: Here we go.
1146
00:41:45,250 --> 00:41:45,875
You ready?
1147
00:41:45,875 --> 00:41:46,708
HAGS: Punch me.
- Okay.
1148
00:41:46,708 --> 00:41:48,292
- On the count of three.
- Look at me.
1149
00:41:48,292 --> 00:41:50,250
BOTH: One, two--
1150
00:41:50,667 --> 00:41:51,667
- Wait a minute!
- Okay.
1151
00:41:52,042 --> 00:41:53,083
- Just give me a minute.
- Okay.
1152
00:41:53,083 --> 00:41:55,167
SARAH: Come on, Hags.
- Okay. Sarah, I'm doing this sh--
1153
00:41:55,167 --> 00:41:56,250
Ahh!
1154
00:41:56,250 --> 00:41:58,458
GIRL 1: Shit!
GIRL 2: Oh-- In the neck!
1155
00:41:58,458 --> 00:42:00,000
- Fuck, you hit my throat.
1156
00:42:00,000 --> 00:42:01,833
GRIFFIN: You okay?
- What happened to the "Go"?
1157
00:42:01,833 --> 00:42:03,167
- I've never punched someone
in the face before.
1158
00:42:03,167 --> 00:42:04,875
My inner-ear balance is all messed up.
1159
00:42:04,875 --> 00:42:06,500
SARAH: I can't believe
you guys just did that.
1160
00:42:06,500 --> 00:42:08,125
We would have let you in the car anyway.
1161
00:42:08,625 --> 00:42:09,583
- I can't swallow.
1162
00:42:09,583 --> 00:42:11,083
- I fucking love tonight.
1163
00:42:11,083 --> 00:42:13,000
Oh my god. Get in, you earned it.
1164
00:42:13,000 --> 00:42:14,292
- We're all good, right?
1165
00:42:15,167 --> 00:42:16,458
- Stop. What are you guys doing?
1166
00:42:16,458 --> 00:42:18,083
Go in the front.
There's no room back here.
1167
00:42:18,625 --> 00:42:20,000
Fucking virgins.
1168
00:42:20,625 --> 00:42:23,000
- Oh man!
1169
00:42:23,000 --> 00:42:24,792
Sorry about that
punchdrunk love back there.
1170
00:42:24,792 --> 00:42:27,708
Looks like you guys really took
some shit to the face!
1171
00:42:27,708 --> 00:42:29,542
That was cool. Chicks said you'd dig it.
1172
00:42:29,542 --> 00:42:32,000
I doubt it! Right? I'm Pompano Mike!
1173
00:42:32,000 --> 00:42:33,625
- Hey.
- Pompano, huh?
1174
00:42:33,625 --> 00:42:35,542
- Yeah.
- My grandparents live in Florida!
1175
00:42:35,542 --> 00:42:37,042
- Oh! What are their names?
- Uh--
1176
00:42:37,042 --> 00:42:38,583
- I'm just kidding, I'm not from there.
1177
00:42:38,583 --> 00:42:40,792
I just like to live my life
in a South Florida state of mind!
1178
00:42:40,792 --> 00:42:42,417
[engine starts]
Strap on your dicks, boys,
1179
00:42:42,417 --> 00:42:43,292
here we go!
1180
00:42:44,250 --> 00:42:48,042
FREEMAN VOICE: And so as daylight
fades across the landscape
1181
00:42:48,042 --> 00:42:51,042
and the moon sits perched
in the night sky,
1182
00:42:51,583 --> 00:42:55,833
the effects of the poison grip
the minds of all who imbibe.
1183
00:42:55,833 --> 00:42:58,542
Some will live to tell a tale of growth
1184
00:42:58,542 --> 00:43:02,375
while other may fall prey
to the dark side.
1185
00:43:02,917 --> 00:43:04,375
[cheering and shouting]
1186
00:43:04,375 --> 00:43:06,917
♪ electronic dance music playing ♪
1187
00:43:07,250 --> 00:43:08,875
CARLSEN: It's getting crazy out there.
1188
00:43:08,875 --> 00:43:10,083
[siren wailing in distance]
1189
00:43:10,083 --> 00:43:13,167
You know, I know tonight brings up
a lot of embarrassing memories
1190
00:43:13,167 --> 00:43:15,583
for... both of us.
1191
00:43:17,500 --> 00:43:18,833
Your mom leaving,
1192
00:43:19,250 --> 00:43:20,417
the RV fires.
1193
00:43:20,958 --> 00:43:22,625
[snoring]
I was actually hoping
to talk to you about it tonight,
1194
00:43:22,625 --> 00:43:24,458
but, uh, you sleep like a dead sailor.
1195
00:43:25,500 --> 00:43:26,958
You snore like my Uncle Stretch.
1196
00:43:27,833 --> 00:43:30,375
Have to get you
a sleep apnea machine for college.
1197
00:43:33,708 --> 00:43:34,500
College.
1198
00:43:36,958 --> 00:43:38,583
Where does all the time go, huh?
1199
00:43:38,583 --> 00:43:42,042
DIGITAL ASSISTANT: The time is 8:51 p. m.
1200
00:43:51,583 --> 00:43:52,708
[tablet buzzing]
1201
00:43:54,000 --> 00:43:55,125
"I'm at Sarah's.
1202
00:43:55,125 --> 00:43:57,417
I'm gonna get you pregnant
because I'm a virgin!"
1203
00:43:57,875 --> 00:43:58,708
Griffin.
1204
00:44:01,417 --> 00:44:03,000
Griffin, you son of a bitch.
1205
00:44:05,667 --> 00:44:06,458
Sarah.
1206
00:44:07,958 --> 00:44:10,167
Sarah Martin's Dank-Ass Pre-Game.
1207
00:44:10,167 --> 00:44:14,083
- Whoo!
- We're gonna live forever!
1208
00:44:14,083 --> 00:44:17,083
- I'm also gonna live forever!
[girls cheering]
1209
00:44:17,083 --> 00:44:18,250
- What the fuck?
1210
00:44:18,250 --> 00:44:19,958
KIMMI: No, get down. Come on.
- This is our thing.
1211
00:44:19,958 --> 00:44:21,583
KIMMI: This is our thing.
GIRL: Sorry.
1212
00:44:22,292 --> 00:44:23,792
BOTH: Whoo!
1213
00:44:23,792 --> 00:44:26,042
♪ H. Mills Jealous playing on speakers ♪
1214
00:44:26,042 --> 00:44:27,792
[cheering]
1215
00:44:27,792 --> 00:44:31,417
- Give me a YOLO
and one ass cheek on three.
1216
00:44:32,875 --> 00:44:34,792
- Pretty cool car, man.
1217
00:44:34,792 --> 00:44:35,625
- Yeah, thanks.
1218
00:44:35,625 --> 00:44:37,458
You know, this is
the last remaining automobile
1219
00:44:37,458 --> 00:44:39,167
from Xzibit's Pimp My Ride show.
1220
00:44:39,167 --> 00:44:41,917
Probably before your time.
I'm pretty bad with ages.
1221
00:44:41,917 --> 00:44:45,292
What are you guys, like, 36? 38?
1222
00:44:45,292 --> 00:44:48,500
- Uh... 18.
- Nice! That was a fun age.
1223
00:44:48,500 --> 00:44:49,750
Ah, you guys are totally legal!
1224
00:44:50,083 --> 00:44:52,000
You know what? Check this out!
1225
00:44:52,500 --> 00:44:55,125
On Binge night, I load up, baby.
1226
00:44:55,125 --> 00:44:56,708
- Pompano, you know driving
under the influence
1227
00:44:56,708 --> 00:44:58,167
is still against the law tonight, right?
1228
00:44:58,167 --> 00:44:58,667
- Yeah.
1229
00:44:58,667 --> 00:45:01,625
But the only way to avoid drivers
under the influence
1230
00:45:01,625 --> 00:45:03,417
is to be over the influence.
1231
00:45:03,875 --> 00:45:05,083
That was my senior quote.
1232
00:45:05,083 --> 00:45:08,000
I thought it was pretty wise
at the time, and I still do.
1233
00:45:08,000 --> 00:45:09,042
You wanna tug on that?
1234
00:45:09,042 --> 00:45:10,667
Tug it up.
- Uh, no, I'm good--
1235
00:45:10,667 --> 00:45:11,417
- Take it to tug town.
1236
00:45:12,042 --> 00:45:14,708
Besides, the cops are pretty lenient
tonight, anyways.
1237
00:45:14,708 --> 00:45:18,000
Especially when they find out that
my Uncle Rick invented the Chia Pet.
1238
00:45:18,000 --> 00:45:20,583
Wasn't really my uncle, he just was a man.
1239
00:45:20,583 --> 00:45:23,000
That's it. Suck it down pipe, guys!
1240
00:45:23,000 --> 00:45:24,958
Good, good, good. Suck it down pipe!
1241
00:45:24,958 --> 00:45:25,833
- What?
1242
00:45:25,833 --> 00:45:27,750
- Put it to your lips
and suck it down pipe!
1243
00:45:27,750 --> 00:45:29,375
[Andrew coughing]
1244
00:45:29,375 --> 00:45:30,542
Yeah.
1245
00:45:33,083 --> 00:45:34,167
Suck it down pipe!
1246
00:45:34,167 --> 00:45:35,542
- Can you stop saying that?
1247
00:45:35,542 --> 00:45:37,167
- Ha! Suck it down pipe!
1248
00:45:37,167 --> 00:45:38,417
Suck it down pipe!
- I'm okay, man.
1249
00:45:38,417 --> 00:45:39,750
I don't want to cloud
my judgment anymore.
1250
00:45:40,292 --> 00:45:42,375
- You know, the best way to deal
with troubles in your life
1251
00:45:42,375 --> 00:45:43,667
is lots of drugs.
1252
00:45:43,667 --> 00:45:45,583
- Yes! This shit's gonna put you at ease.
1253
00:45:45,583 --> 00:45:47,875
- Suck it down pipe.
- You keep saying that, Pompano Mike.
1254
00:45:47,875 --> 00:45:49,083
I just don't know what it means.
1255
00:45:49,083 --> 00:45:50,375
- Okay, I'll spell it out for you.
1256
00:45:50,375 --> 00:45:52,708
Here are the ABCs
of suckin' it down pipe!
1257
00:45:52,708 --> 00:45:55,417
Okay. You puff it in
all the way down to your lungs.
1258
00:45:55,417 --> 00:45:57,708
Let it marinate there
and then you release it.
1259
00:45:57,708 --> 00:45:59,750
You know, like a fart
during a family movie night,
1260
00:45:59,750 --> 00:46:01,667
I don't know, whatever you guys
wanted to watch!
1261
00:46:02,333 --> 00:46:06,583
♪ hip-hop music playing ♪
1262
00:46:06,583 --> 00:46:10,000
[laughing]
1263
00:46:10,000 --> 00:46:11,583
- Yeah!
1264
00:46:11,583 --> 00:46:13,583
- There you go.
- Oh, Griffin.
1265
00:46:13,583 --> 00:46:14,375
- Suck it down pipe.
1266
00:46:14,375 --> 00:46:15,958
- Oh, "Gristen," I like you.
1267
00:46:15,958 --> 00:46:17,083
You got kids, Gristen?
1268
00:46:17,875 --> 00:46:19,208
- My name's not Gristen.
1269
00:46:19,208 --> 00:46:20,833
- No one's name is Gristen.
1270
00:46:20,833 --> 00:46:21,708
- Gristen.
1271
00:46:21,708 --> 00:46:23,375
[all laughing]
1272
00:46:24,083 --> 00:46:26,083
Uh, Gristen, can't make kids!
1273
00:46:26,792 --> 00:46:27,750
GRIFFIN/HAGS: What?
1274
00:46:28,333 --> 00:46:30,583
[dog barking in distance]
1275
00:46:31,250 --> 00:46:32,583
[knocking on door]
1276
00:46:34,542 --> 00:46:35,875
- Took you long enough.
1277
00:46:35,875 --> 00:46:37,292
- Rumor has it that the girls are here?
1278
00:46:37,292 --> 00:46:38,083
- And waiting.
1279
00:46:38,083 --> 00:46:39,375
- Thank goodness.
1280
00:46:39,375 --> 00:46:42,250
TRACY: Prepare to get
your brushes wet, ladies!
1281
00:46:42,250 --> 00:46:45,083
[indiscernible chatter]
1282
00:46:46,083 --> 00:46:48,542
Keep going. Over here. Yes.
1283
00:46:48,542 --> 00:46:49,958
Right by those strawberries.
1284
00:46:49,958 --> 00:46:51,417
Have a seat.
- Okay.
1285
00:46:51,417 --> 00:46:55,042
- Whoa. I hope
the carpet matches the drapes.
1286
00:46:55,375 --> 00:46:58,250
- This, uh, is a little bit more
of an adult party than I--
1287
00:46:58,833 --> 00:47:00,583
- Yeah and you're still wearing
your pants.
1288
00:47:00,583 --> 00:47:01,333
[women giggling]
1289
00:47:02,167 --> 00:47:03,750
CARLSEN: Actually, though, um,
1290
00:47:03,750 --> 00:47:06,917
I'm, I'm here for my daughter,
Lena Carlsen.
1291
00:47:06,917 --> 00:47:07,792
Is she at the party?
1292
00:47:07,792 --> 00:47:09,375
- Oh, there's a party.
1293
00:47:09,375 --> 00:47:10,542
In my pants.
1294
00:47:10,542 --> 00:47:12,375
[women laughing]
- Oh.
1295
00:47:13,208 --> 00:47:15,500
Listen, ladies, I'm actually
Principal Carlsen.
1296
00:47:15,500 --> 00:47:17,792
I'm from the high school.
- Good morning, Principal Carlsen.
1297
00:47:18,625 --> 00:47:20,708
- And, um, you know, I don't have
a problem with Binge-ing,
1298
00:47:20,708 --> 00:47:21,917
obviously for you adults.
1299
00:47:21,917 --> 00:47:23,208
You ladies have-- Lot of--
1300
00:47:23,208 --> 00:47:26,292
Lot of you, uh, all girl group
have gotten together to Binge tonight,
1301
00:47:26,292 --> 00:47:28,042
which seems fine to me.
1302
00:47:28,042 --> 00:47:30,708
I do have a problem though,
uh, with my daughter,
1303
00:47:30,708 --> 00:47:33,125
and I think she might be
out here Binge-ing.
1304
00:47:33,750 --> 00:47:35,042
- Who hired this guy?
1305
00:47:35,042 --> 00:47:37,292
- Dina did.
- Just go with it.
1306
00:47:37,292 --> 00:47:41,333
Principal... can you give us detention?
1307
00:47:41,333 --> 00:47:43,125
- Um, sure.
1308
00:47:43,542 --> 00:47:45,625
Uh, detentions, detentions,
detentions, detentions.
1309
00:47:45,625 --> 00:47:47,292
WOMAN: Whoo-hoo!
[laughter]
1310
00:47:47,833 --> 00:47:49,000
- I'll see all of you after school.
1311
00:47:50,000 --> 00:47:51,625
But I think on a serious note,
1312
00:47:51,625 --> 00:47:54,542
we all realize that
with the kids out there drinking
1313
00:47:54,542 --> 00:47:56,333
and doing the things
that they could be doing tonight,
1314
00:47:56,333 --> 00:47:58,333
things could get far worse
than a detention, yeah?
1315
00:47:58,333 --> 00:48:00,458
- Yeah, I'm just not vibing
with a Principal.
1316
00:48:00,458 --> 00:48:01,250
- But I'm the Principal.
1317
00:48:01,667 --> 00:48:03,083
I'm the Principal of the school.
I'm Principal Carlsen.
1318
00:48:03,083 --> 00:48:04,500
- Okay, I'm the volleyball player.
1319
00:48:04,500 --> 00:48:05,375
[woman giggling]
1320
00:48:05,375 --> 00:48:06,375
- No, I understand that.
1321
00:48:06,375 --> 00:48:08,750
No, guys, I'm, I'm the Principal.
I really am. I'm Principal Carlsen.
1322
00:48:08,750 --> 00:48:10,958
- I'm not feeling it. I don't-- Is it me?
1323
00:48:10,958 --> 00:48:13,167
[women muttering]
- Ladies, you're not gonna get me
off the scent here.
1324
00:48:13,917 --> 00:48:14,917
I don't know where you're hiding the kids.
1325
00:48:14,917 --> 00:48:16,458
If they're upstairs?
If they're downstairs?
1326
00:48:16,458 --> 00:48:17,833
I'm gonna find them, okay.
1327
00:48:17,833 --> 00:48:19,250
So I'm asking you nicely.
1328
00:48:19,250 --> 00:48:20,417
- Oh.
- Right?
1329
00:48:20,417 --> 00:48:23,292
Stop playing around with me
and tell me where the kids are,
1330
00:48:23,292 --> 00:48:25,333
or I can make it pretty uncomfortable
here in town.
1331
00:48:25,333 --> 00:48:26,875
I'm also a city councilman.
1332
00:48:27,292 --> 00:48:30,583
I can find out if the property taxes
to this house is paid up or not.
1333
00:48:30,583 --> 00:48:32,333
I can have a detective follow you
and find out
1334
00:48:32,333 --> 00:48:34,667
who each and every one
of you girls is fucking,
1335
00:48:34,667 --> 00:48:36,375
and I'll turn some families upside down.
1336
00:48:36,667 --> 00:48:39,125
So, I'm gonna ask it one more time
before things start to turn
1337
00:48:39,125 --> 00:48:40,792
just a little bit uncomfortable.
1338
00:48:40,792 --> 00:48:41,875
Ready?
1339
00:48:41,875 --> 00:48:45,458
Where... is... my... daughter?
1340
00:48:46,958 --> 00:48:50,042
- Yeah, see, now I love the passion
and you're really going for it,
1341
00:48:50,042 --> 00:48:51,333
but it's too dark now.
1342
00:48:51,333 --> 00:48:52,958
It's too dark. Bring it back.
1343
00:48:52,958 --> 00:48:54,167
Maybe back to Principal.
1344
00:48:54,500 --> 00:48:56,042
- What are you talking about?
1345
00:48:56,667 --> 00:48:58,667
- We really appreciate
your commitment to the part,
1346
00:48:58,667 --> 00:49:01,292
but we just wanna see a big swinging dick.
1347
00:49:01,292 --> 00:49:02,458
WOMAN: Just show us your dick.
1348
00:49:02,458 --> 00:49:06,208
ALL: [chanting]
Show your dick and balls!
Show your dick and balls!
1349
00:49:06,208 --> 00:49:08,083
Show your dick and balls!
1350
00:49:08,083 --> 00:49:10,792
Show your dick and balls!
- Oh, you guys are here to paint somebody.
1351
00:49:10,792 --> 00:49:11,833
I got it.
- Yes, yes.
1352
00:49:11,833 --> 00:49:13,250
- Look, maybe we can do a little painting,
1353
00:49:13,250 --> 00:49:14,875
and then maybe I can ask
you girls some questions.
1354
00:49:14,875 --> 00:49:16,542
Fair?
[women laughing]
1355
00:49:16,542 --> 00:49:17,792
Give me a minute. Give me a robe
1356
00:49:17,792 --> 00:49:19,875
and we'll see if we can't, uh, create
1357
00:49:19,875 --> 00:49:21,208
some magic alone tonight, okay.
1358
00:49:21,208 --> 00:49:22,042
- Ooh, I like that.
1359
00:49:22,042 --> 00:49:23,208
- I like all of you guys.
I'm proud of you.
1360
00:49:23,208 --> 00:49:25,208
Guess what? Guess what?
Guess what? Guess what? Guess what?
1361
00:49:25,208 --> 00:49:26,500
WOMAN: What?
- You're all under detention!
1362
00:49:26,500 --> 00:49:29,583
[cheering and clapping]
1363
00:49:29,583 --> 00:49:31,875
[laughter]
1364
00:49:33,875 --> 00:49:35,292
- Guys, I think I love weed.
1365
00:49:35,292 --> 00:49:36,875
- Griffin loves weed!
1366
00:49:36,875 --> 00:49:39,833
- The only thing is
it's not just weed. It's Zoom, so--
1367
00:49:40,708 --> 00:49:42,292
- What?
- A little "Super Grass."
1368
00:49:42,292 --> 00:49:43,042
- Uh-huh?
1369
00:49:43,042 --> 00:49:44,083
- "Baby's Breath."
- What?
1370
00:49:44,083 --> 00:49:46,167
"Fry," "Ozark," "Alabaster Arrow,"
1371
00:49:46,167 --> 00:49:48,583
"Dirty Rubix Cube," "Disco Dave," "Spork!"
1372
00:49:48,583 --> 00:49:51,292
- I have no clue
what you're talking about.
1373
00:49:51,292 --> 00:49:53,292
- It's just your plain Jane
"Rainy Day Woman"
1374
00:49:53,292 --> 00:49:54,917
mixed with a little chunk of PCP.
1375
00:49:55,958 --> 00:49:57,708
- PCP?
POMPANO MIKE: Yeah, PCP.
1376
00:49:58,167 --> 00:50:00,292
"Dragon's Breath," "Cheese Tacos,"
1377
00:50:00,292 --> 00:50:02,208
"Chicken Tamales," "Hip Hip Hooray,"
1378
00:50:02,208 --> 00:50:03,250
"Monkey Punch,"
1379
00:50:03,250 --> 00:50:05,542
"Oral Fire Traffic,"
"Crunch Wrap Supreme,"
1380
00:50:05,542 --> 00:50:07,000
"Deuces Wild," "Pirate's Booty,"
1381
00:50:07,000 --> 00:50:09,083
"Toledo," "Nuts-A-Bunch"
"Los Lonely Boy"
1382
00:50:09,083 --> 00:50:10,000
"Diagon Alley,"
1383
00:50:10,000 --> 00:50:12,083
"Road to Terabithia,"
"Nugget Rush."
1384
00:50:12,083 --> 00:50:15,000
[indiscernible babbling]
1385
00:50:17,500 --> 00:50:18,667
[growling]
1386
00:50:18,667 --> 00:50:19,542
ANDREW: Fucking shit!
1387
00:50:19,542 --> 00:50:20,750
[Hags screaming]
ANDREW: Whoa!
1388
00:50:21,458 --> 00:50:23,625
CARLSEN: Years from now,
when you talk about this,
1389
00:50:23,625 --> 00:50:24,625
and you will,
1390
00:50:25,167 --> 00:50:25,792
be kind.
1391
00:50:25,792 --> 00:50:30,417
- Oh, and before you go,
here's a little gift
from your favorite students.
1392
00:50:30,417 --> 00:50:31,292
WOMAN: Aww!
1393
00:50:31,292 --> 00:50:34,375
- You ladies are so sweet but, honestly,
my time with you was gift enough.
1394
00:50:34,375 --> 00:50:35,167
So thank you.
1395
00:50:35,167 --> 00:50:37,000
- Oh, trust me,
you're gonna want this one.
1396
00:50:37,000 --> 00:50:38,042
[whispering]
It's drugs.
1397
00:50:38,042 --> 00:50:40,625
- Okay. Well, thank you so much.
Appreciate you guys.
1398
00:50:40,625 --> 00:50:41,667
WOMAN: Okay.
1399
00:50:41,667 --> 00:50:42,417
CARLSEN: Oh!
1400
00:50:42,417 --> 00:50:43,833
[giggling]
1401
00:50:43,833 --> 00:50:44,333
- Great night.
1402
00:50:44,333 --> 00:50:45,542
- Okay, take care.
1403
00:50:45,542 --> 00:50:46,583
[door closes]
1404
00:50:46,583 --> 00:50:47,875
[squealing]
1405
00:50:47,875 --> 00:50:49,500
This was so fun!
1406
00:50:56,375 --> 00:51:01,333
♪ rock music playing ♪
1407
00:51:01,333 --> 00:51:06,083
♪
1408
00:51:18,208 --> 00:51:19,542
- Come back here, we're bored.
1409
00:51:19,875 --> 00:51:21,708
- What?
- Not you. Pompano.
1410
00:51:21,708 --> 00:51:24,083
SARAH: We need
some caveman nuts back here.
1411
00:51:24,083 --> 00:51:25,292
- One of the downfalls of the job.
1412
00:51:25,292 --> 00:51:26,500
Take the wheel, Jesus.
1413
00:51:26,500 --> 00:51:29,083
HAGS: No, wait. Sure you don't want
two people?
1414
00:51:29,083 --> 00:51:31,792
[indiscernible chatter]
1415
00:51:32,125 --> 00:51:33,333
Ah, fuck!
1416
00:51:33,750 --> 00:51:35,708
Goddamn.
1417
00:51:35,708 --> 00:51:37,958
GIRL: Hi, handsome.
POMPANO MIKE: Hey, ladies, what's up?
1418
00:51:39,250 --> 00:51:40,917
GIRL: You're so fucking silly.
1419
00:51:41,625 --> 00:51:42,875
GRIFFIN: This is bad, man.
1420
00:51:42,875 --> 00:51:44,500
She's not trying to figure out
a witty response.
1421
00:51:44,500 --> 00:51:46,667
She's trying to figure out how to tell me
never to talk to her again.
1422
00:51:46,667 --> 00:51:48,333
- All right, man, wait.
Take it easy, okay.
1423
00:51:48,333 --> 00:51:50,250
That's-- that's--
that's the paranoia kicking in.
1424
00:51:50,250 --> 00:51:52,833
Send her a text message
with a heart emoji and you're in.
1425
00:51:52,833 --> 00:51:54,375
- I can't text a promposal,
1426
00:51:54,375 --> 00:51:56,333
especially after the whole
auto-correct debacle.
1427
00:51:56,333 --> 00:51:58,833
- If you don't wanna text her, then just
pick up the phone and call.
1428
00:51:58,833 --> 00:52:00,292
- That's what I'm gonna do.
That's what I gotta do.
- Man, pick up the phone and call her.
1429
00:52:00,292 --> 00:52:01,042
[line ringing]
1430
00:52:01,042 --> 00:52:03,250
- Okay, here we go, here we go.
It's ringing, it's ringing.
1431
00:52:03,250 --> 00:52:05,083
- Griff, something you wanna say?
1432
00:52:05,083 --> 00:52:07,042
- Yeah, that's actually why I was calling.
1433
00:52:07,042 --> 00:52:08,875
- You think you can just say
whatever you want over text
1434
00:52:08,875 --> 00:52:10,125
because we're not face to face?
1435
00:52:10,125 --> 00:52:12,583
- It was just an auto-correct.
I would never-- I would never have ty--
1436
00:52:12,583 --> 00:52:13,833
I would never get you pregnant.
1437
00:52:14,458 --> 00:52:16,667
- I know. I'm just kidding with you.
1438
00:52:16,667 --> 00:52:19,292
I thought it'd be funny to not respond,
you know, make you wonder.
1439
00:52:20,000 --> 00:52:21,792
- Okay. That's funny.
1440
00:52:21,792 --> 00:52:23,208
You've-- That's very funny.
1441
00:52:23,208 --> 00:52:24,667
LENA: Yeah, I bet
I made you nervous there, huh?
1442
00:52:24,667 --> 00:52:27,250
- No, I don't, I don't get
too nervous in general so--
1443
00:52:27,250 --> 00:52:29,292
- Man, get to the point.
Just ask the question.
1444
00:52:29,875 --> 00:52:32,625
- Hey, so it's been
a pretty wild night so far.
1445
00:52:32,625 --> 00:52:34,542
This isn't how
I was planning on doing it but I,
1446
00:52:34,542 --> 00:52:35,958
I didn't get a chance to earlier
[engine revving]
1447
00:52:35,958 --> 00:52:37,583
because of the confetti at the lockers,
1448
00:52:37,583 --> 00:52:39,625
but I was just wondering
if no one else has asked--
1449
00:52:39,625 --> 00:52:40,917
[Hags screaming]
You bitch!
1450
00:52:40,917 --> 00:52:41,750
- What?
1451
00:52:41,750 --> 00:52:44,167
[girls screaming]
HAGS: Oh, what the fuck?
1452
00:52:44,167 --> 00:52:44,792
[horn blaring]
- Is he dead?
1453
00:52:44,792 --> 00:52:46,042
- Andrew!
1454
00:52:46,042 --> 00:52:47,750
- Watch the fucking road!
[screaming]
1455
00:52:47,750 --> 00:52:49,083
[tires screeching]
HAGS: Holy shit!
1456
00:52:49,083 --> 00:52:49,917
[screaming]
1457
00:52:53,208 --> 00:52:54,542
- Put his foot on the brake!
1458
00:52:54,542 --> 00:52:56,583
[tires screeching]
1459
00:52:56,583 --> 00:52:58,125
- Pulp Fiction him, Griffin!
- We're gonna Pulp Fiction him!
1460
00:52:58,125 --> 00:52:59,208
That's what we're gonna do.
1461
00:52:59,208 --> 00:53:01,625
[horn blaring]
1462
00:53:01,625 --> 00:53:03,625
- We're gonna die!
- We're gonna Pulp Fiction him.
1463
00:53:03,625 --> 00:53:06,292
[all screaming]
1464
00:53:07,958 --> 00:53:10,333
[tires screeching, horn blaring]
1465
00:53:14,125 --> 00:53:15,458
- Oh, you're okay.
1466
00:53:15,458 --> 00:53:16,333
[cow moos, limo thuds]
1467
00:53:16,708 --> 00:53:18,292
[grunts, tires screeching]
1468
00:53:21,083 --> 00:53:23,958
[all groaning]
GIRL: Goddammit!
1469
00:53:23,958 --> 00:53:25,417
[steam hissing]
1470
00:53:25,417 --> 00:53:27,958
ANDREW: What was that?
HAGS: Oh my god.
1471
00:53:27,958 --> 00:53:28,833
You okay?
1472
00:53:28,833 --> 00:53:30,292
GIRL: Open this door?
HAGS: Griff, you all right?
1473
00:53:30,292 --> 00:53:33,000
[girls shouting, indiscernible]
1474
00:53:33,917 --> 00:53:35,542
GIRL: Come on! Get out, guys!
1475
00:53:36,583 --> 00:53:37,167
- Ow!
1476
00:53:41,250 --> 00:53:42,083
All right.
1477
00:53:46,583 --> 00:53:47,958
- Oh no.
1478
00:53:47,958 --> 00:53:49,542
Oh no, no, no, no, no.
1479
00:53:49,542 --> 00:53:51,250
What-- What have we--
What have we done?
1480
00:53:51,250 --> 00:53:52,083
GRIFFIN: Did we just kill an innocent cow?
1481
00:53:52,083 --> 00:53:54,417
- We are not bad people, Lord,
we just made a mistake.
1482
00:53:54,417 --> 00:53:56,375
- Hags, what the hell?
1483
00:53:56,375 --> 00:53:58,167
- The driver drugged Andrew.
POMPANO MIKE: No, I didn't!
1484
00:53:58,167 --> 00:53:59,250
I didn't do anything.
1485
00:53:59,250 --> 00:54:01,042
- Did you guys kill a cow?
1486
00:54:01,042 --> 00:54:02,750
SARAH: Fix that cow.
1487
00:54:02,750 --> 00:54:03,958
HAGS: Wait, what about the drugs?
1488
00:54:03,958 --> 00:54:06,833
- No! No more drugs for us tonight!
1489
00:54:06,833 --> 00:54:09,250
- I'm... I'm with Griffin
on this one, Hags.
1490
00:54:09,958 --> 00:54:10,958
HAGS: Not for us.
1491
00:54:12,417 --> 00:54:13,958
- What?
- What?
1492
00:54:13,958 --> 00:54:15,125
- Come on, Bessie.
1493
00:54:15,125 --> 00:54:17,875
- You guys are fucking idiots.
1494
00:54:17,875 --> 00:54:18,833
- We know!
1495
00:54:18,833 --> 00:54:19,875
- We're trying!
1496
00:54:19,875 --> 00:54:22,208
I'm gonna put some cocaine in his eye.
- Fix the cow!
1497
00:54:22,208 --> 00:54:25,000
- Everybody, please stop yelling.
1498
00:54:25,000 --> 00:54:26,917
Okay, that worked. Give me something else.
1499
00:54:26,917 --> 00:54:28,167
- Wake that cow up! Fix it!
1500
00:54:28,167 --> 00:54:28,792
HAGS: Come on, Bessie.
1501
00:54:28,792 --> 00:54:30,250
- I'm pretty sure Lena thinks
I called her a bitch.
1502
00:54:30,250 --> 00:54:31,083
- Live, cow!
1503
00:54:31,083 --> 00:54:32,542
- Why won't he live?
1504
00:54:32,542 --> 00:54:34,667
HAGS: We gotta give her more drugs.
[Andrew grunting]
1505
00:54:34,667 --> 00:54:35,875
- Come on, guys! Don't let her die.
1506
00:54:35,875 --> 00:54:38,458
- You shut the fuck up, Pompano! We know!
1507
00:54:38,458 --> 00:54:39,667
- I'm gonna Pulp Fiction the cow.
1508
00:54:41,458 --> 00:54:42,250
[bellows]
1509
00:54:45,208 --> 00:54:46,375
[heaving]
- Ew!
1510
00:54:47,583 --> 00:54:48,667
[cow moos]
- Ow!
1511
00:54:49,583 --> 00:54:51,292
- You okay?
- It's alive!
1512
00:54:51,292 --> 00:54:52,750
GIRL: Oh my god, it's alive!
1513
00:54:55,083 --> 00:54:56,042
- It's alive!
1514
00:54:56,042 --> 00:54:57,000
GIRL: Oh my god!
1515
00:54:58,042 --> 00:54:59,375
HAGS: Hey, cow!
ANDREW: Yes!
1516
00:54:59,375 --> 00:55:01,250
[moos]
GIRL: Come on, girl.
1517
00:55:01,250 --> 00:55:02,458
[indiscernible chatter]
1518
00:55:02,458 --> 00:55:03,542
- It's a miracle.
1519
00:55:04,375 --> 00:55:06,375
- She's even better
than she was before!
1520
00:55:08,792 --> 00:55:10,250
[moos]
[tires screeching]
1521
00:55:10,250 --> 00:55:10,958
[gasps]
1522
00:55:10,958 --> 00:55:13,083
- Oh! Oh god!
1523
00:55:13,375 --> 00:55:14,292
GIRL: I'm gonna throw up.
1524
00:55:14,292 --> 00:55:16,500
SARAH: You guys are poison.
- Fuck you, cow killers.
1525
00:55:17,333 --> 00:55:19,792
[girls continues talking, indiscernible]
1526
00:55:19,792 --> 00:55:21,333
GIRL: You ruined our perfect night.
1527
00:55:21,333 --> 00:55:23,417
This is why nobody fucks with you.
1528
00:55:23,417 --> 00:55:25,542
[crying]
You're always gonna be virgins!
1529
00:55:27,583 --> 00:55:29,458
- Oh no!
1530
00:55:34,333 --> 00:55:35,708
GIRL 1: I can get some more--
1531
00:55:36,292 --> 00:55:38,167
BOY: Holy shit!
1532
00:55:38,167 --> 00:55:40,000
Is that Principal Carlsen?
1533
00:55:41,000 --> 00:55:42,000
- Hey, guys.
1534
00:55:44,167 --> 00:55:45,625
Hey, Tyler. How are you fellas?
TYLER: Hi.
1535
00:55:46,417 --> 00:55:49,875
- Just curious,
do you guys know any of the,
uh, parties that are happening tonight?
1536
00:55:49,875 --> 00:55:51,875
- Tonight? I haven't heard anything.
1537
00:55:51,875 --> 00:55:53,292
- No? No idea.
- No.
1538
00:55:54,292 --> 00:55:55,167
- Oh!
[gagging]
1539
00:55:55,167 --> 00:55:56,083
[all gasp]
1540
00:55:56,583 --> 00:55:59,250
- Do you think because I participate
in Wacky Wednesdays
1541
00:55:59,250 --> 00:56:00,792
I can't get a little crazy, huh?
1542
00:56:00,792 --> 00:56:04,000
Just because I participate
in Wacky Wednesdays
1543
00:56:04,000 --> 00:56:06,583
doesn't mean I can't change
the course of your life!
1544
00:56:06,583 --> 00:56:08,417
Does that make sense, you stupid ass?
1545
00:56:08,417 --> 00:56:11,042
- Look, most people are going
to Carnegie Library.
1546
00:56:11,333 --> 00:56:11,917
All right?
1547
00:56:12,708 --> 00:56:14,000
- Smart.
1548
00:56:14,458 --> 00:56:15,625
Hiding in plain sight.
1549
00:56:16,292 --> 00:56:18,500
Come on, big guy. That wasn't so bad.
1550
00:56:19,000 --> 00:56:21,500
Proud of the way you've conducted yourself
on and off the field.
1551
00:56:22,208 --> 00:56:23,458
Whoa, whoa, whoa!
1552
00:56:24,167 --> 00:56:27,167
What's this? You guys gettin'
into some slamballs?
1553
00:56:27,625 --> 00:56:29,542
Run your pockets.
- What's a slamball?
1554
00:56:30,375 --> 00:56:31,625
- This is how it starts.
1555
00:56:32,083 --> 00:56:33,125
Little sip of wine,
1556
00:56:33,417 --> 00:56:34,500
some slamballs,
1557
00:56:34,958 --> 00:56:36,208
and then you leave your family
1558
00:56:36,667 --> 00:56:38,750
for an ATV instructor named Gabriel.
1559
00:56:39,208 --> 00:56:40,875
And then you stop being a mom
1560
00:56:41,333 --> 00:56:43,000
and participating in the family
1561
00:56:43,500 --> 00:56:46,625
because you're so ashamed
from a life of porn,
1562
00:56:46,625 --> 00:56:48,458
you can't look your daughter
in the eye anymore.
1563
00:56:48,458 --> 00:56:50,458
And guess who gets stuck holding the bag?
1564
00:56:50,458 --> 00:56:51,375
Dear old dad.
1565
00:56:52,292 --> 00:56:53,500
Is that gonna be you?
1566
00:56:54,417 --> 00:56:55,708
Are you gonna be a mom
1567
00:56:56,833 --> 00:56:58,083
that leaves her family?
1568
00:57:04,625 --> 00:57:06,000
Let me ask you a question, big boy.
1569
00:57:06,833 --> 00:57:07,542
Look at me.
1570
00:57:08,208 --> 00:57:09,792
Are you a mom that could walk out
on her family?
1571
00:57:09,792 --> 00:57:10,958
- No. No, sir.
1572
00:57:12,333 --> 00:57:15,417
- Are you a mom that could walk out
on his family?
1573
00:57:15,417 --> 00:57:16,625
- I would never leave you.
1574
00:57:16,625 --> 00:57:18,667
- The fuck makes you think
I'm talking about me?
1575
00:57:18,667 --> 00:57:20,167
- I thought we were just role-playing.
1576
00:57:20,750 --> 00:57:21,708
I know it wasn't you.
1577
00:57:21,708 --> 00:57:24,333
If I was a mother,
I would never leave my family.
1578
00:57:24,333 --> 00:57:27,792
That's all I know. Here,
these are, these are all my drugs.
1579
00:57:27,792 --> 00:57:30,000
I'm sorry I lied to you,
Principal Carlsen.
1580
00:57:31,750 --> 00:57:33,417
- Why didn't we just start here
1581
00:57:33,417 --> 00:57:36,125
and skip all the hitting
in the throat stuff, huh?
[chuckles]
1582
00:57:36,875 --> 00:57:38,750
You guys have a great night, okay.
1583
00:57:39,667 --> 00:57:41,083
You know what, we'll do better next time.
1584
00:57:43,125 --> 00:57:44,000
Oh.
1585
00:57:44,625 --> 00:57:46,458
And if anybody asks you guys,
1586
00:57:47,250 --> 00:57:49,000
just let 'em know
that the Panther sent you.
1587
00:57:49,667 --> 00:57:52,083
[all gasp]
GIRL: Oh!
1588
00:57:52,833 --> 00:57:56,000
SPENCER: Who's the panther?
Where's he supposed to send us?
1589
00:57:56,000 --> 00:57:58,000
GIRL 1: Oh shit!
GIRL 2: Did you see that?
1590
00:58:00,000 --> 00:58:03,042
[horn honking]
1591
00:58:03,583 --> 00:58:07,000
- We have just experienced
a serious trauma, people.
1592
00:58:07,625 --> 00:58:10,250
Hey, why won't anybody pick us up?
MAN: ...dickless!
1593
00:58:10,250 --> 00:58:14,000
- Uber says it's gonna take two hours
and it's surging 350.
1594
00:58:14,000 --> 00:58:15,292
BECKY: [on phone] This night slaps.
1595
00:58:15,292 --> 00:58:16,875
LENA: Best night ever.
1596
00:58:16,875 --> 00:58:18,833
HAGS: Griff, you good?
1597
00:58:19,542 --> 00:58:20,500
- Mark fucking Maynard.
1598
00:58:20,500 --> 00:58:21,833
- This night slaps!
1599
00:58:21,833 --> 00:58:24,125
- Night of our lives!
- Whoo!
1600
00:58:24,125 --> 00:58:25,167
GRIFFIN: Who else could it be?
1601
00:58:25,167 --> 00:58:27,917
HAGS: Listen, man,
Mark did not ask her to prom,
1602
00:58:27,917 --> 00:58:29,042
I know that for a fact.
1603
00:58:29,917 --> 00:58:34,542
Look, we cannot give up now.
We are 6.8 miles away from that party.
1604
00:58:35,292 --> 00:58:37,458
And then when Lena sees you,
there's no way she can say no to you.
1605
00:58:37,458 --> 00:58:39,083
- Well, what would that
even look like, man?
1606
00:58:39,083 --> 00:58:40,417
"Hey, Lena, it's me.
1607
00:58:40,417 --> 00:58:42,208
"I'm really sorry for calling you
a bitch earlier.
1608
00:58:42,208 --> 00:58:44,792
"It's probably because I was high
off my ass on PCP.
1609
00:58:44,792 --> 00:58:46,750
"I almost just died
after crashing into a cow
1610
00:58:46,750 --> 00:58:49,208
"and they got absolutely fucking
demolished by an 18 wheeler
1611
00:58:49,208 --> 00:58:52,000
"and as I'm sure you've noticed by now,
I'm missing an entire fucking eyebrow.
1612
00:58:52,000 --> 00:58:52,958
"But hey, don't worry about it.
1613
00:58:52,958 --> 00:58:54,708
"It'll probably grow back
in six to twelve months.
1614
00:58:54,708 --> 00:58:55,792
You wanna go to prom?"
1615
00:58:57,000 --> 00:58:58,625
- Hey, you sold me.
- I'd say yes.
1616
00:58:58,625 --> 00:58:59,458
- Mm-hmm.
1617
00:59:01,458 --> 00:59:02,250
[mini-crossbow whooshes]
1618
00:59:02,250 --> 00:59:03,833
- Ow! What the shit?
ANDREW: Griffin.
1619
00:59:04,208 --> 00:59:05,542
- Oh, something's in my ass.
- What?
1620
00:59:05,542 --> 00:59:06,917
- My entire ass is on fire!
1621
00:59:06,917 --> 00:59:08,292
Oh, that hurts--
SEB: Hey!
1622
00:59:08,792 --> 00:59:12,083
Hey, lookie-lookie.
1623
00:59:12,083 --> 00:59:12,542
- Big bro.
1624
00:59:13,167 --> 00:59:15,333
My good friend here,
he wanted to ask his girlfriend to--
1625
00:59:15,333 --> 00:59:16,083
[mini-crossbow whooshes]
1626
00:59:17,042 --> 00:59:18,958
HAGS: Andrew? Andrew!
1627
00:59:20,625 --> 00:59:22,583
[Andrew screaming]
Oh no!
1628
00:59:23,000 --> 00:59:24,292
- Get 'em in the truck.
[Hags screaming]
1629
00:59:24,292 --> 00:59:25,375
[all screaming]
1630
00:59:26,917 --> 00:59:28,500
[Andrew screaming]
1631
00:59:30,208 --> 00:59:33,333
[indiscernible chatter]
1632
00:59:33,333 --> 00:59:35,875
GIRL: Will I be able to drive
if I eat two Binge-A-Ritos?
1633
00:59:35,875 --> 00:59:37,167
MAN: I would not recommend it.
1634
00:59:39,750 --> 00:59:40,417
[pop]
1635
00:59:41,042 --> 00:59:42,417
[girl laughs]
1636
00:59:42,417 --> 00:59:43,958
GIRL: You're so stupid.
1637
00:59:44,250 --> 00:59:45,250
Binge-A-Ritos.
1638
00:59:45,250 --> 00:59:46,667
Six for 12 bucks.
1639
00:59:47,125 --> 00:59:50,333
Meat, cheese, romaine lettuce,
and magic mushrooms.
1640
00:59:52,417 --> 00:59:53,500
- Magic mushrooms?
1641
00:59:53,500 --> 00:59:55,083
- Bon appetit!
1642
00:59:55,083 --> 00:59:56,542
- Yes, sir. Thank you, sir.
1643
00:59:56,542 --> 00:59:58,125
- You're going on a little trip.
1644
00:59:58,625 --> 01:00:01,000
- They're probably only dusted
with magic mushrooms.
1645
01:00:01,000 --> 01:00:03,708
I doubt that the Wall of Tacos
would risk their impeccable reputation
1646
01:00:03,708 --> 01:00:04,792
by poisoning people.
1647
01:00:04,792 --> 01:00:05,958
♪ Marcus' Grains of Sand playing ♪
1648
01:00:05,958 --> 01:00:10,417
- ♪ Your eyes so soft and blue
that I once knew ♪
1649
01:00:10,417 --> 01:00:15,375
♪ Like a dazzling light
within a pool of liquid night ♪
1650
01:00:17,000 --> 01:00:19,958
♪ But when I reach for you,
you disappear ♪
1651
01:00:19,958 --> 01:00:20,917
[crowd cheering]
1652
01:00:20,917 --> 01:00:23,625
♪ Then reappear through shades of blue ♪
1653
01:00:23,917 --> 01:00:27,708
♪ I follow you till you're out of sight ♪
1654
01:00:28,417 --> 01:00:29,667
MAN: Whoo!
1655
01:00:29,667 --> 01:00:33,417
Twenty-nine Binge-A-Ritos!
They broke the fucking record!
1656
01:00:33,417 --> 01:00:34,500
[crowd cheering]
BOY 1: Oh shit.
1657
01:00:34,500 --> 01:00:35,583
BOY 2: Yeah!
1658
01:00:35,583 --> 01:00:38,292
- I really don't think we should be doing
this many drugs.
1659
01:00:38,292 --> 01:00:40,417
- [mockingly] "I don't think
we should be doing anymore drugs."
1660
01:00:40,833 --> 01:00:41,625
[normal voice]: That's you!
1661
01:00:41,625 --> 01:00:45,417
- Seb, please, just let us go.
- [mockingly]:
"Seb, please, just let us go."
1662
01:00:46,292 --> 01:00:49,208
[normal voice]: That's also you,
you fucking piece of shit.
1663
01:00:49,542 --> 01:00:52,042
- Do you have any idea how long
we've been training for this Gauntlet?
1664
01:00:52,042 --> 01:00:55,458
- Okay. No, that's it. I'm done.
I gotta go to the bathroom.
1665
01:00:56,125 --> 01:00:57,083
Oh!
1666
01:00:57,083 --> 01:00:58,875
Hey, he's still back there.
1667
01:00:58,875 --> 01:01:01,458
- Now it's payback time.
GRIFFIN: Now it's payback time?
1668
01:01:01,458 --> 01:01:03,167
What have we been doing here
the whole fucking time?
1669
01:01:03,167 --> 01:01:03,958
- Preparing.
1670
01:01:03,958 --> 01:01:05,208
- Preparing for what?
1671
01:01:05,208 --> 01:01:07,042
- The Siamese Tootsie Roll.
1672
01:01:07,042 --> 01:01:09,000
[stomach rumbling]
1673
01:01:09,000 --> 01:01:10,625
- Is that a dessert here?
1674
01:01:11,583 --> 01:01:12,792
[airhorn blares]
1675
01:01:12,792 --> 01:01:15,375
♪ club music playing ♪
1676
01:01:18,250 --> 01:01:20,458
- Hey, Becky. Becky?
1677
01:01:20,875 --> 01:01:23,208
- What?
- I'm just gonna go home.
1678
01:01:23,208 --> 01:01:24,542
- No, no, no! You can't leave now.
1679
01:01:24,542 --> 01:01:26,625
- Yeah, I just need this
to charge a little more,
1680
01:01:26,625 --> 01:01:27,792
and then I'm gonna call an Uber.
- No, you can't--
1681
01:01:27,792 --> 01:01:28,958
No, you can't leave now. No.
1682
01:01:28,958 --> 01:01:30,958
He wouldn't have asked you to come
if he wasn't gonna be here.
1683
01:01:30,958 --> 01:01:33,667
- Okay. Well, maybe Mr. Promposal
just got drunk or something.
1684
01:01:33,667 --> 01:01:35,667
- No, stay. Just stay a little longer!
1685
01:01:35,667 --> 01:01:37,125
I'll be right with you in a second.
1686
01:01:38,000 --> 01:01:39,208
[cell phone chimes]
1687
01:01:40,208 --> 01:01:41,208
GRIFFIN: Where did they get
all this tape from?
1688
01:01:41,208 --> 01:01:43,042
HAGS: I gotta go to the bathroom now.
1689
01:01:43,625 --> 01:01:44,208
LENA: Griffin?
1690
01:01:44,208 --> 01:01:45,792
- Hags, you need to be
an adult about this.
1691
01:01:45,792 --> 01:01:46,708
Do not shit--
1692
01:01:46,708 --> 01:01:48,083
ANDREW: I need to go to the bathroom too.
1693
01:01:48,083 --> 01:01:49,667
GRIFFIN: No. Andrew, no. Andrew.
1694
01:01:49,667 --> 01:01:51,583
Do not. Stay strong, Andrew.
1695
01:01:53,000 --> 01:01:53,833
[all grunting]
1696
01:01:53,833 --> 01:01:55,125
♪ Shit/Poop My Pants
by the F Heads playing ♪
1697
01:01:55,125 --> 01:01:57,500
- ♪ I think I shit my pants,
gonna need new pants ♪
1698
01:01:57,500 --> 01:01:58,708
[crowd cheering, laughing]
1699
01:01:58,708 --> 01:02:01,000
♪ I shit my pants ♪
1700
01:02:02,458 --> 01:02:05,667
[all shouting]
1701
01:02:05,667 --> 01:02:07,000
HAGS: You fucking heathens.
1702
01:02:07,000 --> 01:02:09,625
[indiscernible conversation]
1703
01:02:09,625 --> 01:02:11,250
You're all heathens.
1704
01:02:12,042 --> 01:02:13,500
- ♪ And now it's time ♪
1705
01:02:14,583 --> 01:02:15,917
MAN: All right, all right.
1706
01:02:15,917 --> 01:02:16,625
HAGS: Thank you, man.
1707
01:02:16,625 --> 01:02:17,958
MAN: Yeah, it's no problem.
1708
01:02:21,583 --> 01:02:22,417
GIRL 1: Come this way.
1709
01:02:22,417 --> 01:02:24,958
GIRL 2: Hey,
it's the Siamese Tootsie Roll guys.
1710
01:02:24,958 --> 01:02:25,583
GIRL 1: All right.
1711
01:02:25,583 --> 01:02:27,917
- "Siamese Tootsie Roll guys?"
1712
01:02:28,458 --> 01:02:29,417
We have a name.
1713
01:02:29,833 --> 01:02:32,333
- Oh yeah! You're going viral.
GRIFFIN: You happy, Hags?
1714
01:02:32,333 --> 01:02:35,333
- Hey, look, at least we'll be recognized
tonight at the Library Party.
1715
01:02:35,333 --> 01:02:36,792
- I don't care about recognition, man.
1716
01:02:36,792 --> 01:02:39,250
I just want to get to this stupid party
and ask Lena to prom!
1717
01:02:39,250 --> 01:02:41,792
- You've been saying that every day
for the past five months.
1718
01:02:41,792 --> 01:02:43,333
- You know, you're kind of
an asshole, man.
1719
01:02:43,333 --> 01:02:45,417
- Well, if it wasn't for this asshole,
1720
01:02:46,125 --> 01:02:48,917
you'd still be at home tonight
doing the Root Beer Goat.
1721
01:02:48,917 --> 01:02:51,208
- Because of you, the dean of Brown
is gonna look up my name
1722
01:02:51,208 --> 01:02:53,083
and see me, you, and Andrew
taped ass to ass,
1723
01:02:53,083 --> 01:02:55,375
rolling down the street blindfolded
on Binge Night.
1724
01:02:55,375 --> 01:02:57,250
Principal Carlsen's gonna see that.
Everyone will.
1725
01:02:57,250 --> 01:02:58,583
That could ruin my fucking life.
1726
01:02:58,583 --> 01:03:01,667
If I'm even alive after the 30
mushroom-filled burritos we just ate.
1727
01:03:01,667 --> 01:03:03,375
- Oh, I'm sorry
1728
01:03:03,375 --> 01:03:04,958
for trying to add some fun
1729
01:03:04,958 --> 01:03:06,958
to your miserable existence, Griffin.
- What?
1730
01:03:06,958 --> 01:03:08,875
What part of anything
about tonight was fun?
1731
01:03:08,875 --> 01:03:10,125
Andrew, are you having fun?
1732
01:03:10,125 --> 01:03:12,458
- Ah, fucking Binge, man.
1733
01:03:12,458 --> 01:03:13,167
- You see?
1734
01:03:13,458 --> 01:03:14,875
You see?
- You didn't even want him to come.
1735
01:03:14,875 --> 01:03:17,750
- Of course I wanted him to come.
- You said he was hurting our cool factor.
1736
01:03:17,750 --> 01:03:20,292
- And you only wanted him
for the wristbands!
1737
01:03:22,750 --> 01:03:25,875
- If you guys didn't want me to come,
you could have just said that.
1738
01:03:25,875 --> 01:03:27,417
- That's not true.
- That's not it, Andrew.
1739
01:03:27,417 --> 01:03:29,750
- No, I got along fine just by myself.
1740
01:03:29,750 --> 01:03:32,583
I don't like being somewhere
I'm not appreciated.
1741
01:03:33,583 --> 01:03:35,083
GRIFFIN: Andrew, that's not what we meant.
1742
01:03:36,875 --> 01:03:38,042
HAGS: Andrew!
1743
01:03:38,625 --> 01:03:41,917
Goddammit, Griffin. This is the bullshit
I'm talking about.
1744
01:03:45,208 --> 01:03:46,167
You know what?
1745
01:03:47,042 --> 01:03:48,750
I'm going to that party tonight.
1746
01:03:49,333 --> 01:03:50,417
Without you.
1747
01:03:53,667 --> 01:03:55,500
We could've been legends tonight, man.
1748
01:03:57,458 --> 01:03:59,375
We could have crushed that Gauntlet.
1749
01:04:03,542 --> 01:04:05,792
Griffin, this is the bullshit
I'm talking about!
1750
01:04:06,667 --> 01:04:07,625
You know what?
1751
01:04:08,417 --> 01:04:10,458
I'm going to that party tonight.
1752
01:04:15,625 --> 01:04:19,042
- If you guys didn't want me to come,
why didn't you just say that?
1753
01:04:20,750 --> 01:04:22,333
- Root Beer Goat.
1754
01:04:22,333 --> 01:04:23,792
DAKOTA: You're going on a little trip.
1755
01:04:23,792 --> 01:04:25,292
- It's okay. You're just dying.
1756
01:04:26,292 --> 01:04:27,417
- I don't wanna be a little girl.
1757
01:04:28,000 --> 01:04:29,333
[cawing]
1758
01:04:29,792 --> 01:04:31,375
DAKOTA: You're going on a little trip!
HAGS: Root Beer Goat.
1759
01:04:31,375 --> 01:04:34,625
[overlapping voices]
1760
01:04:35,042 --> 01:04:37,875
HAGS' VOICE: Dammit, Griffin, this is
the bullshit I'm talking about.
1761
01:04:39,333 --> 01:04:40,250
[bleating]
1762
01:04:42,250 --> 01:04:44,958
♪ mystical music playing ♪
1763
01:04:44,958 --> 01:04:47,292
GIRL: Your entire world turns
into a musical.
1764
01:04:51,583 --> 01:04:53,667
- ♪ I just need a little change ♪
1765
01:04:54,083 --> 01:04:56,083
♪ So that I can catch the bus ♪
1766
01:04:56,083 --> 01:04:58,000
- ♪ Check out this kid's getup ♪
1767
01:04:58,000 --> 01:05:01,208
♪ Looks like he might have some scratch ♪
1768
01:05:01,208 --> 01:05:02,958
- ♪ Give us all your money, kid ♪
1769
01:05:02,958 --> 01:05:05,583
- ♪ Sorry, not today, man ♪
1770
01:05:05,583 --> 01:05:07,958
♪ Wait, why are we singing? ♪
1771
01:05:07,958 --> 01:05:13,417
♪ What the fuck is happening? ♪
1772
01:05:14,375 --> 01:05:18,333
- ♪ He said, let's Binge, Griffin,
we'll have a rocking time ♪
1773
01:05:18,333 --> 01:05:21,958
♪ On the one night of the year
when railing lines is not a crime ♪
1774
01:05:21,958 --> 01:05:25,417
- ♪ Soon he's off to college
while I vanish from his brain ♪
1775
01:05:25,417 --> 01:05:29,042
♪ He'll be getting knowledge
and remember me as lame ♪
1776
01:05:29,042 --> 01:05:30,750
- ♪ We thought it'd be terrific ♪
1777
01:05:30,750 --> 01:05:32,667
♪ To be substance abusers ♪
1778
01:05:32,667 --> 01:05:34,333
♪ But that was quite horrific ♪
1779
01:05:34,333 --> 01:05:36,125
♪ You made us look like losers ♪
1780
01:05:36,125 --> 01:05:38,083
- ♪ The best night ever ♪
1781
01:05:38,083 --> 01:05:39,667
♪ Turned out pretty rotten ♪
1782
01:05:39,667 --> 01:05:41,667
♪ Now when he's with
new friends at Brown ♪
1783
01:05:41,667 --> 01:05:43,542
♪ I will be forgotten ♪
1784
01:05:46,667 --> 01:05:49,708
- ♪ I hate you so much, Hags,
you've probably ruined my life ♪
1785
01:05:49,708 --> 01:05:53,042
♪ I almost asked Lena to prom
and then to be my wife ♪
1786
01:05:53,042 --> 01:05:54,417
BOTH: ♪ What the fuck is happening? ♪
1787
01:05:54,417 --> 01:05:56,125
♪ My brain's completely fried!
1788
01:05:56,125 --> 01:05:59,500
♪ The night became unhinged,
the thought just made me cringe ♪
1789
01:05:59,500 --> 01:06:03,208
♪ It's not how it should be on the Binge ♪
1790
01:06:04,667 --> 01:06:08,125
- ♪ All I ever wanted were some friends ♪
1791
01:06:08,125 --> 01:06:12,458
♪ Pals with me till the very end ♪
1792
01:06:12,875 --> 01:06:16,792
♪ How I fix this now?
I really don't know how ♪
1793
01:06:16,792 --> 01:06:19,208
♪ We tore off an eyebrow ♪
1794
01:06:19,208 --> 01:06:23,500
♪ And killed a lovely cow ♪
1795
01:06:23,500 --> 01:06:24,833
[gunshot, cow moos]
1796
01:06:24,833 --> 01:06:26,667
BOTH:
♪ We're gonna get high, gonna get baked ♪
1797
01:06:26,667 --> 01:06:28,667
♪ Till every inch of us just aches ♪
1798
01:06:28,667 --> 01:06:30,583
♪ Gonna do lines, gonna pop tabs ♪
1799
01:06:30,583 --> 01:06:32,458
♪ Ingest everything we grab ♪
1800
01:06:32,458 --> 01:06:34,375
♪ Have some shrooms,
then smoke some crack ♪
1801
01:06:34,375 --> 01:06:36,375
♪ Chase the Dragon and shoot some smack ♪
1802
01:06:36,375 --> 01:06:40,042
♪ We won't stop till all our brains
are fucking fried ♪
1803
01:06:40,042 --> 01:06:43,542
♪ 'Cause the only thing that matters
when we binge ♪
1804
01:06:43,542 --> 01:06:44,792
♪ Is we're gonna get high ♪
1805
01:06:45,875 --> 01:06:49,417
- ♪ If only I was brave
I could've asked her to the prom ♪
1806
01:06:49,417 --> 01:06:52,958
♪ I missed my opportunity
and now my boner's gone ♪
1807
01:06:52,958 --> 01:06:56,667
♪ They ripped my fucking eyebrow off
I'm stuck singing this ballad ♪
1808
01:06:56,667 --> 01:07:00,208
♪ While Lena's off with someone else
I'm tossing my own salad ♪
1809
01:07:00,208 --> 01:07:03,875
- ♪ This will be the best prom ever ♪
1810
01:07:03,875 --> 01:07:07,292
♪ That promposal was so damn clever ♪
1811
01:07:07,292 --> 01:07:10,833
♪ But not knowing who,
I'm so glad it was you ♪
1812
01:07:10,833 --> 01:07:14,708
♪ And not someone like Griffin or Trevor ♪
1813
01:07:14,708 --> 01:07:19,500
♪ We'll live happily ever ♪
1814
01:07:19,500 --> 01:07:20,333
[champagne cork pops]
1815
01:07:21,042 --> 01:07:24,000
- Nooo!
1816
01:07:24,000 --> 01:07:27,333
- ♪ Sarah, my sweet, you're probably
with some foreign guy ♪
1817
01:07:27,333 --> 01:07:30,833
♪ You thought it'd be a treat,
maybe Swede, maybe Thai ♪
1818
01:07:30,833 --> 01:07:32,917
[audience whistling]
1819
01:07:32,917 --> 01:07:36,750
- ♪ Best night ever
maybe a one night stand ♪
1820
01:07:36,750 --> 01:07:39,083
♪ Who will be my new endeavor? ♪
1821
01:07:39,083 --> 01:07:41,083
♪ Could be a woman or a man ♪
1822
01:07:41,083 --> 01:07:45,500
♪ I don't give a fuck, maybe both ♪
1823
01:07:45,500 --> 01:07:49,708
♪ A three-way ought to float my boat ♪
1824
01:07:53,208 --> 01:07:55,125
ALL:
♪ We're gonna get high, gonna get baked ♪
1825
01:07:55,125 --> 01:07:57,083
♪ Till every inch of us just aches ♪
1826
01:07:57,083 --> 01:07:58,958
♪ Gonna do lines, gonna pop tabs ♪
1827
01:07:58,958 --> 01:08:00,833
♪ Ingest everything we grab ♪
1828
01:08:00,833 --> 01:08:02,708
♪ Have some shrooms,
then smoke some crack ♪
1829
01:08:02,708 --> 01:08:04,583
♪ Chase the Dragon and shoot some smack ♪
1830
01:08:04,583 --> 01:08:06,458
♪ We're gonna get high, gonna get baked ♪
1831
01:08:06,458 --> 01:08:08,417
♪ Till every inch of us just aches ♪
1832
01:08:08,417 --> 01:08:10,292
♪ Gonna do lines, gonna pop tabs ♪
1833
01:08:10,292 --> 01:08:12,208
♪ Ingest everything we grab ♪
1834
01:08:12,208 --> 01:08:14,042
♪ Cook some meth, how 'bout black tar ♪
1835
01:08:14,042 --> 01:08:18,333
♪ While giving hand jobs in the car ♪
1836
01:08:18,333 --> 01:08:20,542
♪ We're gonna get high, gonna get baked ♪
1837
01:08:20,542 --> 01:08:22,333
♪ Till every inch of us just aches ♪
1838
01:08:22,333 --> 01:08:24,542
♪ Gonna do lines, gonna pop tabs ♪
1839
01:08:24,542 --> 01:08:26,083
♪ Ingest everything we grab ♪
1840
01:08:26,083 --> 01:08:28,292
♪ Have some shrooms,
then smoke some crack ♪
1841
01:08:28,292 --> 01:08:30,542
♪ Chase the Dragon and shoot some smack ♪
1842
01:08:30,542 --> 01:08:32,500
- ♪ 'Cause the only thing
that matters when we ♪
1843
01:08:32,500 --> 01:08:34,375
- ♪ 'Cause the only thing
that matters when we ♪
1844
01:08:34,375 --> 01:08:37,167
ALL: ♪ 'Cause the only thing
that matters is we get ♪
1845
01:08:37,167 --> 01:08:40,292
♪ So fucking ♪
1846
01:08:41,042 --> 01:08:45,750
♪ High ♪
1847
01:08:50,125 --> 01:08:51,375
[girl giggling]
1848
01:08:51,375 --> 01:08:53,000
GIRL: Whoo!
1849
01:08:53,000 --> 01:08:54,708
♪ Yellow Claw and Fatman Scoop's
Reckless playing ♪
1850
01:08:54,708 --> 01:08:55,750
- ♪ Don't act up ♪
1851
01:08:55,750 --> 01:08:58,167
♪ Don't act up, don't act up ♪
1852
01:08:58,167 --> 01:09:00,083
♪ Don't act up, push your back up ♪
1853
01:09:00,083 --> 01:09:02,167
♪ This is the opportunity
to get that ass up ♪
1854
01:09:02,167 --> 01:09:04,417
♪ You wanna get wild, get wild ♪
1855
01:09:04,417 --> 01:09:06,333
♪ Take it from the sky to the ground ♪
1856
01:09:06,917 --> 01:09:08,792
♪ Don't act up, push your back up ♪
1857
01:09:08,792 --> 01:09:10,875
♪ This is the opportunity
to get that ass up ♪
1858
01:09:10,875 --> 01:09:13,167
♪ You wanna get wild, get wild ♪
1859
01:09:13,167 --> 01:09:14,958
♪ Take it from the sky to the ground ♪
1860
01:09:14,958 --> 01:09:17,625
[crowd chattering and cheering]
1861
01:09:18,042 --> 01:09:19,000
- Lena!
1862
01:09:19,000 --> 01:09:21,458
[voice echoing]
Lena!
1863
01:09:22,333 --> 01:09:23,042
Lena!
1864
01:09:23,042 --> 01:09:25,583
[voice echoing]
Lena!
1865
01:09:26,333 --> 01:09:28,125
[crowd cheering]
1866
01:09:28,125 --> 01:09:30,083
- ♪ Don't act up, push your back up ♪
1867
01:09:30,083 --> 01:09:32,167
♪ This is the opportunity
to get that ass up ♪
1868
01:09:32,167 --> 01:09:34,417
♪ You wanna get wild, get wild ♪
1869
01:09:34,417 --> 01:09:35,875
♪ Take it from the sky to the ground ♪
1870
01:09:35,875 --> 01:09:36,958
♪ Right now ♪
1871
01:09:36,958 --> 01:09:38,833
♪ Don't act up, push your back up ♪
1872
01:09:38,833 --> 01:09:40,917
♪ This is the opportunity
to get that ass up ♪
1873
01:09:40,917 --> 01:09:42,667
♪ You wanna get wild, get wild ♪
1874
01:09:43,125 --> 01:09:44,625
♪ Take it from the sky to the ground ♪
1875
01:09:44,625 --> 01:09:45,375
♪ Right now ♪
1876
01:09:45,375 --> 01:09:46,833
♪ Take it from the sky to the ground ♪
1877
01:09:46,833 --> 01:09:49,833
♪
1878
01:09:49,833 --> 01:09:52,750
BOOMER/PUN-ISHER: Do drugs, motherfuckers!
1879
01:09:52,750 --> 01:09:54,417
[crowd cheering]
1880
01:09:54,417 --> 01:09:56,833
♪ In the House by Outasight playing ♪
1881
01:09:56,833 --> 01:09:58,625
- ♪ I'm Saucier like macaroni ♪
1882
01:09:58,625 --> 01:09:59,417
[sniffing]
1883
01:09:59,417 --> 01:10:00,875
- Whoo!
1884
01:10:00,875 --> 01:10:02,833
- ♪ Anyway, pull up around nine ♪
1885
01:10:02,833 --> 01:10:05,167
♪ That really means eleven my time ♪
1886
01:10:05,167 --> 01:10:07,458
♪ I gotta feeling this going all night ♪
1887
01:10:07,458 --> 01:10:09,583
♪ And that's the kinda thing
you know I like ♪
1888
01:10:09,583 --> 01:10:11,542
♪ Make yourself feel right at home ♪
1889
01:10:11,542 --> 01:10:13,417
♪ There's no other place to be ♪
1890
01:10:13,417 --> 01:10:15,833
♪ Call everyone now that you know ♪
1891
01:10:15,833 --> 01:10:17,958
♪ And tell 'em that you're here with me ♪
1892
01:10:17,958 --> 01:10:20,000
♪ Whoa, think we're having a party ♪
1893
01:10:20,000 --> 01:10:22,042
♪ Whoa,
I think we're having a party ♪
1894
01:10:22,042 --> 01:10:24,250
♪ Whoa, and everyone's invited ♪
1895
01:10:24,250 --> 01:10:26,125
♪ Yeah ♪
1896
01:10:26,125 --> 01:10:29,083
♪ We in the house, whoa, oh ♪
1897
01:10:30,042 --> 01:10:31,792
♪ We in the house ♪
1898
01:10:31,792 --> 01:10:34,958
♪ Whoa ♪
1899
01:10:34,958 --> 01:10:37,083
♪ So come on in and
stay as long as you like ♪
1900
01:10:37,083 --> 01:10:39,083
♪ Come on in, you're welcome anytime ♪
1901
01:10:39,083 --> 01:10:42,208
♪ That's right, we in the house ♪
1902
01:10:42,208 --> 01:10:43,792
♪ Let's go ♪
1903
01:10:43,792 --> 01:10:44,583
- Lena!
1904
01:10:45,083 --> 01:10:46,000
- Griffin!
1905
01:10:48,667 --> 01:10:49,625
- Hags?
1906
01:10:50,542 --> 01:10:53,125
- Sarah?
- I can't believe you made it.
1907
01:10:53,125 --> 01:10:53,958
- Excuse me.
1908
01:10:54,833 --> 01:10:57,042
Um, have you seen Griffin?
1909
01:10:57,042 --> 01:10:59,667
- Yeah, he's, like, over there
just jazzing with a bunch
1910
01:10:59,667 --> 01:11:01,208
of way cooler guys.
1911
01:11:01,208 --> 01:11:02,458
- Wait. What seriously?
1912
01:11:02,458 --> 01:11:03,917
- No, I'm fucking with you.
1913
01:11:03,917 --> 01:11:04,917
- Oh. Ha ha ha.
1914
01:11:04,917 --> 01:11:06,708
BOY: Suck it down pipe. Be a man.
1915
01:11:06,708 --> 01:11:08,708
Look at him, he's having
a blast, everybody.
1916
01:11:08,708 --> 01:11:10,917
They call it Bong Long Island Expressway.
1917
01:11:10,917 --> 01:11:13,042
Come on!
- Oh man, yeah, that's good.
1918
01:11:13,042 --> 01:11:14,792
- Mark Maynard?
- Hey, Griffin.
1919
01:11:14,792 --> 01:11:16,000
Loving that eyebrow.
1920
01:11:16,000 --> 01:11:17,375
- I, I saw the video, so--
1921
01:11:17,375 --> 01:11:19,083
- What video?
- Of you and Lena.
1922
01:11:19,083 --> 01:11:20,792
Of you two together dancing.
1923
01:11:21,417 --> 01:11:23,000
You're the promposal guy, right?
1924
01:11:23,000 --> 01:11:25,917
- No. I'm going to prom with Nick.
Guy's got an iron grip.
1925
01:11:25,917 --> 01:11:26,625
- Hell yeah.
1926
01:11:28,208 --> 01:11:30,042
- Wait, do you know
who did ask Lena, then?
1927
01:11:30,042 --> 01:11:32,083
- No. I got no idea. It could be anyone.
1928
01:11:32,083 --> 01:11:33,125
She's a real catch.
1929
01:11:33,125 --> 01:11:35,625
Could be Max Keiser, Jack Fortin.
- Right.
1930
01:11:35,625 --> 01:11:38,667
- Could have been Tom Fank,
Matt Menina, Cameron Dzur!
1931
01:11:38,667 --> 01:11:39,708
- Lot of different people.
1932
01:11:39,708 --> 01:11:41,750
- Don't take it personally.
1933
01:11:41,750 --> 01:11:43,792
I love messing with you.
1934
01:11:44,292 --> 01:11:48,958
And tonight, I want to take
our relationship to the next level.
1935
01:11:49,625 --> 01:11:50,375
- Wait, for real?
1936
01:11:50,375 --> 01:11:53,000
- No, Hags, what the fuck
is wrong with you?
1937
01:11:53,000 --> 01:11:54,500
- I don't know what's wrong with me.
I don't know.
1938
01:11:54,500 --> 01:11:56,875
- Jerry Robinson--
- Jerry Robinson.
1939
01:11:56,875 --> 01:11:58,625
- Could be Tom Michelito.
- So many options.
1940
01:11:58,625 --> 01:12:00,583
- It could have been Kevin Weiss.
- Jacob Rosen.
1941
01:12:00,583 --> 01:12:01,792
- Eric Ulrich.
1942
01:12:01,792 --> 01:12:03,542
- Lot of people interested in her.
MARK: Hey, hey, hey,
1943
01:12:03,542 --> 01:12:05,542
nice overalls though, dude, I love 'em.
1944
01:12:06,667 --> 01:12:08,542
- Have a good night.
NICK: Hey, good luck.
1945
01:12:10,208 --> 01:12:11,500
Mark Maynard, what the fuck?
1946
01:12:11,500 --> 01:12:13,667
MARK: What? Don't pigeon hole me.
It's the Binge.
1947
01:12:13,667 --> 01:12:14,875
She's got an iron grip!
1948
01:12:21,833 --> 01:12:24,458
- "This is the last clue. Don't U C.
1949
01:12:24,458 --> 01:12:25,917
Lena, go to prom with me."
1950
01:12:25,917 --> 01:12:29,958
♪ romantic music playing ♪
1951
01:12:29,958 --> 01:12:33,333
♪
1952
01:12:41,333 --> 01:12:43,375
LENA: [shrieks]
Oh my god!
1953
01:12:43,375 --> 01:12:44,958
- You look Lena in the eyes and tell her
1954
01:12:44,958 --> 01:12:47,292
exactly what you wanted to tell her
your entire life.
1955
01:12:47,292 --> 01:12:49,958
Mark did not ask her to prom,
I know that for a fact.
1956
01:12:50,375 --> 01:12:52,458
We could have been legends tonight, bro.
1957
01:12:52,458 --> 01:12:55,458
♪
1958
01:12:58,417 --> 01:13:00,125
- Hags, you son of a bitch.
1959
01:13:00,792 --> 01:13:01,708
[cell phone chimes]
1960
01:13:03,708 --> 01:13:06,333
- Becky, I got a text.
Becky, I got a clue.
- What?
1961
01:13:06,333 --> 01:13:07,375
- Look.
1962
01:13:07,375 --> 01:13:09,125
"The time has come to make the call,
1963
01:13:09,125 --> 01:13:11,542
dig deep in your heart
and deep in the overalls."
1964
01:13:11,542 --> 01:13:13,167
What fucking overalls?
1965
01:13:13,167 --> 01:13:15,375
[toilet flushing]
1966
01:13:16,833 --> 01:13:18,667
Oh god. No.
1967
01:13:18,667 --> 01:13:22,583
- Gauntlet competitor!
Please make your way to the stage.
1968
01:13:22,583 --> 01:13:26,458
If you haven't signed up,
now is your last chance
1969
01:13:26,458 --> 01:13:29,542
to be... legendary!
1970
01:13:29,542 --> 01:13:33,875
[cheering]
1971
01:13:38,750 --> 01:13:41,833
- What about that preview that you were
gonna give me in band practice?
1972
01:13:42,792 --> 01:13:45,083
I'm gonna be a member
of the big dick club.
1973
01:13:45,083 --> 01:13:46,292
- Whoa! Oh!
1974
01:13:46,292 --> 01:13:48,333
[both laughing]
1975
01:13:48,333 --> 01:13:49,250
I mean, really?
1976
01:13:49,708 --> 01:13:52,125
I like that-- Oh! Hey!
1977
01:13:52,125 --> 01:13:53,083
GRIFFIN: [over mic] Hags!
1978
01:13:53,083 --> 01:13:54,375
Excuse me!
- Griffin?
1979
01:13:54,375 --> 01:13:55,542
- Excuse me.
1980
01:13:56,417 --> 01:13:58,292
SARAH: Focus up, Hags.
- I'm so sorry.
1981
01:13:58,750 --> 01:14:00,333
This is my first Binge,
1982
01:14:00,333 --> 01:14:01,458
and, uh,
1983
01:14:02,875 --> 01:14:05,542
I said some really shitty things
to some people I care a whole lot about.
1984
01:14:05,542 --> 01:14:07,292
- Who's that asshole?
1985
01:14:08,458 --> 01:14:10,083
- That asshole's my best friend.
1986
01:14:10,083 --> 01:14:11,417
- Is that Griffin?
1987
01:14:11,833 --> 01:14:13,292
- Hags, I don't know
if you can hear me or--
1988
01:14:13,292 --> 01:14:16,125
- All right, listen, I gotta go
get my best friend.
1989
01:14:16,125 --> 01:14:17,750
You stay right here.
- What the fuck is he talking--
1990
01:14:17,750 --> 01:14:19,833
HAGS: I love you. Yeah, I'll be back.
1991
01:14:19,833 --> 01:14:21,708
Sorry. My best friend.
- Hags!
1992
01:14:21,708 --> 01:14:23,208
BOY 1: Get the fucker off the stage.
1993
01:14:23,208 --> 01:14:25,250
BOY 2: Super lame!
GIRL: Get off the stage!
1994
01:14:25,250 --> 01:14:26,417
BOY 3: What the fuck, man?
1995
01:14:27,250 --> 01:14:27,958
- Griffin!
1996
01:14:28,250 --> 01:14:29,583
GRIFFIN: Hags?
- Hey, Griffin!
1997
01:14:29,583 --> 01:14:30,417
- Hags!
1998
01:14:30,417 --> 01:14:31,500
- Sorry for the--
HAGS: Hey!
1999
01:14:31,500 --> 01:14:32,833
- I'm coming, Hags.
2000
01:14:32,833 --> 01:14:33,958
- Hey, hey, Griffin!
2001
01:14:33,958 --> 01:14:36,000
- Now let's get to the Gauntlet, shall we?
2002
01:14:36,000 --> 01:14:39,833
[crowd cheering]
2003
01:14:39,833 --> 01:14:41,792
GRIFFIN: I'm coming. I'm coming, Hags.
2004
01:14:41,792 --> 01:14:43,333
- Hey, that's my best friend.
2005
01:14:43,333 --> 01:14:45,333
- Oh god, just stop drinking--
2006
01:14:45,333 --> 01:14:47,083
Whoa! Lena! Lena, look.
2007
01:14:47,083 --> 01:14:50,250
Look. Lena. Lena, Lena, look.
Overalls. Overalls.
2008
01:14:50,250 --> 01:14:51,708
LENA: Holy shit! It's Griffin!
2009
01:14:51,708 --> 01:14:52,500
BECKY: Yeah!
2010
01:14:52,500 --> 01:14:53,333
- Oh my god, I--
2011
01:14:53,333 --> 01:14:55,875
- Dude, dude, dude, you should,
you should get him!
2012
01:14:55,875 --> 01:14:56,792
[bottles clinking]
[body thuds]
2013
01:14:56,792 --> 01:14:59,083
- Griffin! Griffin!
2014
01:14:59,083 --> 01:15:00,667
Hey! Hey!
GRIFFIN: Hags!
2015
01:15:00,667 --> 01:15:01,500
HAGS: Griffin!
- Hags!
2016
01:15:01,500 --> 01:15:02,375
- Hey!
2017
01:15:03,792 --> 01:15:04,958
Did you ask Lena to prom?
2018
01:15:04,958 --> 01:15:06,625
- No, I couldn't find her.
2019
01:15:06,625 --> 01:15:09,292
Why did you keep saying I had to beat
the other guy to the promposal?
2020
01:15:09,292 --> 01:15:11,208
- You just needed a little push, man.
2021
01:15:11,208 --> 01:15:13,542
Look, I always knew you would ask her.
And I knew you could do it.
2022
01:15:13,542 --> 01:15:14,958
This was all just a backup.
2023
01:15:15,958 --> 01:15:17,875
Have you seen Andrew?
- No.
2024
01:15:17,875 --> 01:15:19,750
I'm not even sure how I got to the party.
2025
01:15:19,750 --> 01:15:21,458
- Well, I was tap-dancing in the street!
2026
01:15:21,458 --> 01:15:23,292
- People were singing
around me at one point.
2027
01:15:23,292 --> 01:15:25,292
- I've had an erection for six hours.
2028
01:15:25,292 --> 01:15:26,875
HAGS: Andrew!
2029
01:15:26,875 --> 01:15:28,750
What the fuck happened to you, man?
2030
01:15:28,750 --> 01:15:30,542
- Hey, hey, hey, team name?
2031
01:15:31,917 --> 01:15:33,792
- Oh, I'm sorry, we're not competing.
2032
01:15:33,792 --> 01:15:35,583
- Hey, if you're not competing,
get the fuck off the stage.
2033
01:15:35,583 --> 01:15:36,292
HAGS: Right away, sir.
2034
01:15:36,292 --> 01:15:37,833
I put you through enough already.
Let's go and see-
2035
01:15:37,833 --> 01:15:38,833
- Wait, we're competing.
2036
01:15:39,792 --> 01:15:40,500
- What?
2037
01:15:40,500 --> 01:15:43,125
- There's no way in hell we came this far
2038
01:15:43,125 --> 01:15:45,333
not to take a run
at becoming legends tonight.
2039
01:15:45,333 --> 01:15:48,167
You made this whole night about me.
Now let me do this for you.
2040
01:15:48,167 --> 01:15:49,500
- He's right.
2041
01:15:53,000 --> 01:15:54,292
- What do you say?
2042
01:15:54,708 --> 01:15:56,875
This is our chance to be remembered.
2043
01:15:56,875 --> 01:15:58,458
- Oh man!
2044
01:15:58,458 --> 01:15:59,875
- I know that groan! He's in!
2045
01:15:59,875 --> 01:16:02,042
My man.
- Hey, guys, team name?
2046
01:16:02,042 --> 01:16:05,625
- Um... how about the Best Friends?
2047
01:16:05,625 --> 01:16:07,500
- You're gonna get scorched for that name.
2048
01:16:07,500 --> 01:16:08,583
Watch this.
2049
01:16:08,583 --> 01:16:10,250
Hey, give it up for the Best Friends.
2050
01:16:10,250 --> 01:16:12,958
[crowd booing]
- Hey, team Best friends,
where's your Valleyman?
2051
01:16:12,958 --> 01:16:14,333
GRIFFIN: What the hell's a Valleyman?
2052
01:16:14,333 --> 01:16:15,458
- It's your fourth man.
2053
01:16:15,458 --> 01:16:16,750
Every team needs a fourth.
2054
01:16:17,208 --> 01:16:19,083
If he's not up here in 30 seconds,
you can't compete.
2055
01:16:19,083 --> 01:16:20,083
- We didn't know about that.
2056
01:16:20,083 --> 01:16:20,625
- Griffin.
2057
01:16:22,750 --> 01:16:23,500
- Hey.
2058
01:16:24,125 --> 01:16:24,833
CARLSEN: Lena!
2059
01:16:27,333 --> 01:16:29,125
Dad?
CARLSEN: What the hell
is going on with you?
2060
01:16:29,125 --> 01:16:30,750
Let's go! We're leaving.
2061
01:16:31,542 --> 01:16:32,458
GRIFFIN: Lena, wait.
2062
01:16:35,750 --> 01:16:37,708
There's something I should have asked you
a long time ago
2063
01:16:37,708 --> 01:16:39,792
and was too terrified
to do anything about it.
2064
01:16:40,792 --> 01:16:43,083
But standing here now in front
of all these people and
2065
01:16:43,917 --> 01:16:46,125
with your dad right behind you,
the whole situation's feeling
2066
01:16:46,125 --> 01:16:47,917
a thousand times more awkward
and terrifying
2067
01:16:47,917 --> 01:16:50,417
than I even imagined it could be,
but that's okay, it doesn't matter.
2068
01:16:56,542 --> 01:16:57,750
Will you go to prom with me?
2069
01:16:57,750 --> 01:16:59,542
- Lena, I don't even know where you're at.
2070
01:16:59,542 --> 01:17:01,292
You're sneaking around
and you're lying to me.
2071
01:17:01,292 --> 01:17:02,333
You gotta come with me.
2072
01:17:03,167 --> 01:17:04,792
I mean, you gotta come alongside me.
2073
01:17:05,792 --> 01:17:06,667
It's time for us to come.
2074
01:17:06,667 --> 01:17:08,792
[crowd murmuring]
2075
01:17:08,792 --> 01:17:09,625
Let me walk that back.
2076
01:17:09,625 --> 01:17:11,750
I don't want that taken
out of context by anybody.
2077
01:17:11,750 --> 01:17:12,458
We're leaving.
2078
01:17:13,542 --> 01:17:14,375
- No.
2079
01:17:14,708 --> 01:17:16,500
No. No, I'm not leaving.
2080
01:17:16,500 --> 01:17:19,792
I know that sneaking out was wrong,
but you said so yourself,
2081
01:17:19,792 --> 01:17:21,333
I'm not gonna be a teenager forever.
2082
01:17:21,333 --> 01:17:23,375
So, this is where I'm at.
2083
01:17:23,375 --> 01:17:25,792
I want to go out,
and I want to try new things
2084
01:17:25,792 --> 01:17:29,167
and fucking I'm probably gonna make
a thousand mistakes but...
2085
01:17:30,333 --> 01:17:32,958
I'd really love to be able
to talk to my dad about it.
2086
01:17:32,958 --> 01:17:34,917
PUN-ISHER: Come on, guys,
where's your Valleyman?
2087
01:17:34,917 --> 01:17:35,917
- Get off the stage, it's over.
2088
01:17:35,917 --> 01:17:38,083
♪ dramatic music playing ♪
2089
01:17:38,083 --> 01:17:41,083
♪
2090
01:17:41,917 --> 01:17:42,792
- You're my daughter.
2091
01:17:43,792 --> 01:17:44,667
I see you.
2092
01:17:45,625 --> 01:17:48,083
And you can talk to me anytime you want.
2093
01:17:48,917 --> 01:17:50,542
- Thank you, Dad. That's exactly what I--
2094
01:17:50,542 --> 01:17:51,375
- Just not right now.
- Oh!
2095
01:17:52,833 --> 01:17:53,875
- I'll be your Valleyman.
2096
01:17:54,458 --> 01:17:57,750
Take out your little pencil
and, uh, scratch down the name...
2097
01:17:58,375 --> 01:18:00,958
El fucking Pantera.
[panther snarls]
2098
01:18:00,958 --> 01:18:02,000
BOOMER: Oh shit!
2099
01:18:02,000 --> 01:18:03,000
- Dad?
- What is happening?
2100
01:18:03,375 --> 01:18:05,875
- It's the return of El Pantera.
2101
01:18:05,875 --> 01:18:07,292
[crowd cheering]
2102
01:18:07,292 --> 01:18:09,000
CROWD [chanting]: Pantera!
[bottle shatters]
2103
01:18:09,000 --> 01:18:10,417
Pantera!
2104
01:18:10,875 --> 01:18:11,917
Pantera!
2105
01:18:11,917 --> 01:18:13,958
BOTH: Oh my god! Oh my god!
2106
01:18:14,500 --> 01:18:16,042
BECKY: Your dad is El Pantera?
2107
01:18:17,542 --> 01:18:19,875
- You boys have the balls
to dare to be living legends,
2108
01:18:19,875 --> 01:18:22,333
then I'm not gonna let
some technicality stop that.
2109
01:18:23,000 --> 01:18:26,250
Truth be told, I lost
to the Gauntlet once. I was selfish.
2110
01:18:26,958 --> 01:18:28,542
Tried to go solo.
2111
01:18:28,542 --> 01:18:31,167
But now I realize, it takes a team,
2112
01:18:31,583 --> 01:18:34,583
but only a team that's built on trust.
2113
01:18:34,583 --> 01:18:35,542
- That sounds great.
2114
01:18:35,542 --> 01:18:38,417
- You come to my house, you pretend
to be my friend and clean my pool.
2115
01:18:38,958 --> 01:18:39,958
You played me.
2116
01:18:40,500 --> 01:18:41,833
Then I get a text
2117
01:18:42,375 --> 01:18:44,750
saying that you wanna impregnate
my goddamn daughter.
2118
01:18:44,750 --> 01:18:45,958
- That was just an auto-correct.
2119
01:18:45,958 --> 01:18:48,042
- I respected it, 'cause at least
you were fucking honest,
2120
01:18:48,500 --> 01:18:50,958
and that's what I need to have when we're
out there competing in the Gauntlet.
2121
01:18:50,958 --> 01:18:53,833
When the chips are down,
I need to know I can count on you.
2122
01:18:53,833 --> 01:18:54,708
So do me a favor,
2123
01:18:55,458 --> 01:18:56,583
strike me in the nuts.
2124
01:18:56,583 --> 01:18:58,375
You want me to do what?
- Show me your cards, Captain.
2125
01:18:58,375 --> 01:19:00,208
Hit me in my balls
and let me know your heart is true.
2126
01:19:01,167 --> 01:19:02,417
- I just really
don't feel comfortable doing that.
2127
01:19:02,417 --> 01:19:03,708
- No nut shot, no Gauntlet.
2128
01:19:03,708 --> 01:19:04,792
- Just do it!
2129
01:19:05,708 --> 01:19:07,458
CROWD: Ohh!
- Yeah!
2130
01:19:08,542 --> 01:19:09,292
BOY: Oh!
2131
01:19:11,000 --> 01:19:13,042
- I've never felt as close to anyone
2132
01:19:13,042 --> 01:19:14,583
as I do to you right now.
2133
01:19:20,042 --> 01:19:22,375
[crowd murmuring]
2134
01:19:22,375 --> 01:19:26,208
♪ rousing music playing ♪
2135
01:19:26,208 --> 01:19:30,125
♪
2136
01:19:30,125 --> 01:19:32,292
Can I get a cawww!
2137
01:19:32,292 --> 01:19:33,417
- Cawww!
2138
01:19:33,417 --> 01:19:34,583
CROWD: Cawww!
2139
01:19:34,583 --> 01:19:36,083
ANDREW: Caw! Caw! Caw!
2140
01:19:36,083 --> 01:19:37,667
BOOMER: Let's do this!
2141
01:19:37,667 --> 01:19:41,000
[crowd chanting "caw"]
2142
01:19:44,917 --> 01:19:47,292
BOOMER: Ladies and gentlemen,
2143
01:19:47,292 --> 01:19:51,542
the time has finally come for this year's
2144
01:19:51,542 --> 01:19:54,083
Gauntlet!
[cheering]
2145
01:19:54,083 --> 01:19:58,292
Which one of our brave competitors
will emerge victorious?
2146
01:19:58,292 --> 01:20:00,292
Now is the chance to create a memory
2147
01:20:00,292 --> 01:20:03,750
that you will cherish
for the rest of your lives.
2148
01:20:03,750 --> 01:20:08,125
To prove that you're more
than the worthless piece of shit
2149
01:20:08,125 --> 01:20:09,958
everyone said you were
2150
01:20:09,958 --> 01:20:12,917
and finally win the heart
of your longtime crush.
- Hags. Hags.
2151
01:20:13,500 --> 01:20:15,875
- A chance to earn
the respect of your Principal
2152
01:20:15,875 --> 01:20:17,667
so he'll let you take
his daughter to prom.
2153
01:20:18,167 --> 01:20:20,833
A chance to finally prove
to your violent twin brother
2154
01:20:20,833 --> 01:20:23,125
that you are no longer taking his abuse.
2155
01:20:24,208 --> 01:20:28,042
Teams will compete in three rounds
of morally questionable events.
2156
01:20:28,417 --> 01:20:29,875
At the end of round three,
2157
01:20:29,875 --> 01:20:33,250
the two teams with the most points
will face off in a sudden death match.
2158
01:20:33,250 --> 01:20:34,042
BOY: Whoo!
2159
01:20:34,042 --> 01:20:37,667
BOOMER: Where the winning team
will be memorialized in Binge history.
2160
01:20:37,667 --> 01:20:38,792
[crowd cheering]
2161
01:20:38,792 --> 01:20:41,000
Now put your hands together for round one,
2162
01:20:41,000 --> 01:20:44,625
the Liquid Plumber!
2163
01:20:44,625 --> 01:20:48,708
ANNOUNCER: [sing-songy]
Liquid Plumber!
2164
01:20:49,167 --> 01:20:50,625
ALL: Ready?
2165
01:20:50,625 --> 01:20:51,917
Set!
2166
01:20:51,917 --> 01:20:54,292
Binge!
2167
01:20:54,292 --> 01:20:56,000
BOOMER: Now this is easy.
2168
01:20:56,000 --> 01:20:59,083
You just chug the mixture
of whiskey, Goldschlager,
2169
01:20:59,083 --> 01:21:01,833
hen's piss, Just For Men hair dye,
2170
01:21:01,833 --> 01:21:03,625
and sink water from an Arby's!
2171
01:21:03,625 --> 01:21:05,583
- Then sing The Pledge of Allegiance.
2172
01:21:05,583 --> 01:21:07,375
- Let's go, Griffin!
HAGS: Let's go! Come on!
2173
01:21:07,375 --> 01:21:09,167
- To the tune of the national anthem!
2174
01:21:09,167 --> 01:21:10,500
♪ "Star Spangled Banner"
plays on speakers ♪
2175
01:21:10,500 --> 01:21:14,000
Ice Russians are up. They're singing.
- ♪ I pledge allegiance ♪
2176
01:21:14,000 --> 01:21:15,292
BOOMER: Playboy Legends are up.
2177
01:21:15,292 --> 01:21:16,333
- Suck it down pipe.
2178
01:21:16,333 --> 01:21:20,292
[competitors singing
The Pledge of Allegiance]
2179
01:21:20,292 --> 01:21:21,125
CARLSEN: Let's go!
2180
01:21:21,125 --> 01:21:22,917
[coughing]
HAGS: Let's go, Griff!
2181
01:21:22,917 --> 01:21:23,625
BOTH: Oh my God!
2182
01:21:24,917 --> 01:21:27,292
- I pledge allegiance to the Flag--
2183
01:21:27,292 --> 01:21:28,708
[singing drunkenly]
2184
01:21:29,667 --> 01:21:31,250
BOOMER: Ice Russians finish.
2185
01:21:32,542 --> 01:21:34,250
Playboy Legends finish.
2186
01:21:34,833 --> 01:21:38,333
- For the lib--
With liberty and justice for all!
2187
01:21:38,333 --> 01:21:39,042
- Yes!
2188
01:21:39,042 --> 01:21:40,250
BOOMER: And team Best Friends finish!
[cheering]
2189
01:21:40,250 --> 01:21:41,583
- Whoo!
HAGS: Let's go.
2190
01:21:43,000 --> 01:21:44,750
[Griffin retching]
- Oh damn.
2191
01:21:44,750 --> 01:21:45,958
[Griffin coughing]
It's all right, buddy.
2192
01:21:45,958 --> 01:21:47,917
BOOMER: Ice Russians taking an early lead.
2193
01:21:47,917 --> 01:21:50,042
Best Friends having a real hard time.
2194
01:21:50,042 --> 01:21:51,375
The next event:
Serbian Molly Tickle Feather.
2195
01:21:51,375 --> 01:21:53,792
Serbian Molly Tickle Feather.
2196
01:21:53,792 --> 01:21:56,708
ANNOUNCER: [sing-songy]
Serbian Tickle Feather.
2197
01:21:56,708 --> 01:22:00,292
BOOMER: [indistinct dialogue]
Competition as old as time itself.
2198
01:22:00,292 --> 01:22:02,292
PUN-ISHER : Best Friends will have
to take this next round
2199
01:22:02,292 --> 01:22:03,458
if they want to stay alive.
2200
01:22:04,000 --> 01:22:07,375
BOOMER : Looks like that
quick-release MDMA is doing its job!
2201
01:22:07,375 --> 01:22:09,333
HAGS: Andrew, we need this
more than ever, baby. Come on!
2202
01:22:09,333 --> 01:22:10,792
Pull through.
- Get him, Andrew, let's go!
2203
01:22:10,792 --> 01:22:11,917
- Whoo!
2204
01:22:12,500 --> 01:22:13,917
[laughing]
2205
01:22:15,042 --> 01:22:15,958
- Hey.
2206
01:22:16,917 --> 01:22:17,833
Hey, Seb.
2207
01:22:18,375 --> 01:22:19,167
- What?
2208
01:22:19,167 --> 01:22:19,833
- Nothing.
2209
01:22:19,833 --> 01:22:21,625
- Pull his arm, Andrew. Pull his arm!
2210
01:22:22,333 --> 01:22:23,250
- I love you.
2211
01:22:23,250 --> 01:22:26,708
- There's a lot a deep
meaningful conversation
happening down there.
2212
01:22:28,458 --> 01:22:29,667
- I love you too, bro.
2213
01:22:30,667 --> 01:22:31,708
- I've been waiting my whole life--
2214
01:22:31,708 --> 01:22:32,542
[grunts]
2215
01:22:32,542 --> 01:22:34,625
- No!
[airhorn blares]
2216
01:22:35,458 --> 01:22:37,750
BOOMER: It's a close Gauntlet
out there, folks.
2217
01:22:37,750 --> 01:22:39,917
Ice Russians and the Criminals
neck and neck.
2218
01:22:39,917 --> 01:22:42,375
Team Best Friends
is nearly eliminated at this point.
2219
01:22:42,375 --> 01:22:45,083
PUN-ISHER: The only thing that can change
the dynamic of the Gauntlet
2220
01:22:45,667 --> 01:22:47,375
is the Valleymen round.
2221
01:22:47,375 --> 01:22:49,792
- It's convenient? Sure.
But what do you want from us?
2222
01:22:49,792 --> 01:22:51,000
We don't make the rules.
2223
01:22:51,000 --> 01:22:52,750
- We're gonna need a miracle
to win this thing.
2224
01:22:52,750 --> 01:22:56,042
ANNOUNCER: [sing-songy]
Alligator Donut.
2225
01:22:56,042 --> 01:22:57,458
BOOMER: This is life or death
for team Best Friends.
2226
01:22:57,458 --> 01:23:00,917
And since it's the Valleymen round,
it actually is
2227
01:23:00,917 --> 01:23:02,417
life or death!
2228
01:23:02,417 --> 01:23:06,750
PUN-ISHER: And for that reason, it's worth
more points than any other round.
2229
01:23:06,750 --> 01:23:10,333
But remember, guys, if there's a death,
no points are awarded.
2230
01:23:10,333 --> 01:23:12,042
- This is our last shot
at making the finals.
2231
01:23:12,042 --> 01:23:13,708
- This is why we play the game.
2232
01:23:13,708 --> 01:23:16,917
[Andrew speaking Spanish]
2233
01:23:16,917 --> 01:23:18,083
PUN-ISHER: Now, Valleymen,
2234
01:23:18,083 --> 01:23:19,500
assume the donut.
2235
01:23:22,083 --> 01:23:25,083
- Now, Valleymen, assume the Purple Drank.
2236
01:23:26,875 --> 01:23:30,083
PUN-ISHER: Now, Valleymen,
assume the spin.
2237
01:23:31,625 --> 01:23:35,625
[crowd cheering]
2238
01:23:37,667 --> 01:23:38,917
- Oh my god!
2239
01:23:43,167 --> 01:23:44,458
PUN-ISHER: Now, Valleymen,
2240
01:23:45,833 --> 01:23:48,292
assume the gator!
[airhorn blares]
2241
01:23:48,292 --> 01:23:49,042
[growling]
2242
01:23:49,042 --> 01:23:50,917
[all gasp]
2243
01:23:53,250 --> 01:23:55,667
- The donut must stay
on the gator's head for five seconds.
2244
01:23:55,667 --> 01:23:57,333
Good luck!
PUN-ISHER: Now be careful,
2245
01:23:57,333 --> 01:24:00,667
he hasn't eaten in a week
and he's been listening to EDM all day.
2246
01:24:00,667 --> 01:24:02,000
He is super hyped up.
2247
01:24:02,000 --> 01:24:03,125
[girl screaming]
2248
01:24:03,125 --> 01:24:04,125
ALL: Ready.
2249
01:24:04,125 --> 01:24:05,042
[growling]
2250
01:24:05,042 --> 01:24:05,917
Set!
2251
01:24:07,583 --> 01:24:09,292
BOTH: Binge!
2252
01:24:09,292 --> 01:24:12,167
[crowd chanting]
2253
01:24:12,167 --> 01:24:12,833
[alligator growling]
2254
01:24:12,833 --> 01:24:14,083
- Take your time, Pantera, you're good.
2255
01:24:14,083 --> 01:24:15,708
[indistinct chatter]
2256
01:24:15,708 --> 01:24:16,500
- Oh-kay!
2257
01:24:16,500 --> 01:24:18,958
BOOMER: If the donut stays
on its head till the count of five,
2258
01:24:18,958 --> 01:24:21,000
the game is over.
2259
01:24:21,583 --> 01:24:23,708
- Mark, place that fucking donut
on its head.
2260
01:24:23,708 --> 01:24:24,750
[growls]
2261
01:24:26,208 --> 01:24:27,833
BOOMER: Ice Russians place the donut.
2262
01:24:27,833 --> 01:24:28,958
- That's what I'm talking about.
ALL: Five,
2263
01:24:28,958 --> 01:24:32,500
four, three, two, one!
2264
01:24:33,667 --> 01:24:34,542
- What?
2265
01:24:34,542 --> 01:24:36,625
BOY: Where did it go?
BOOMER: What the fuck
happened to the donut?
2266
01:24:38,708 --> 01:24:40,292
El Pantera has the donut!
2267
01:24:40,292 --> 01:24:41,458
[cheering]
2268
01:24:41,458 --> 01:24:42,667
- Yes! Yes!
2269
01:24:47,583 --> 01:24:49,833
BOOMER: That's why
they call him El Pantera.
2270
01:24:49,833 --> 01:24:50,917
SEB: Wait, can he do that?
2271
01:24:50,917 --> 01:24:52,083
CROWD: [chanting] Pantera!
2272
01:24:52,083 --> 01:24:54,417
Pantera!
HAGS: He can.
2273
01:24:54,417 --> 01:24:55,958
CROWD: Pantera!
ANDREW: You got this, Pantera.
2274
01:24:55,958 --> 01:24:57,167
- You got it, Pantera. Here we go.
2275
01:24:57,167 --> 01:24:59,917
BOOMER: If the Best Friends can take this,
they'll be in the sudden death round
2276
01:24:59,917 --> 01:25:02,333
with the Ice Russians.
2277
01:25:02,333 --> 01:25:04,208
- Sixty seconds remaining.
2278
01:25:04,208 --> 01:25:06,458
[alligator growling]
2279
01:25:10,167 --> 01:25:11,083
- Come on, Pantera.
2280
01:25:11,833 --> 01:25:12,792
[hisses, snaps]
[girl shrieks]
2281
01:25:12,792 --> 01:25:14,042
- Dad, be careful.
CARLSEN: Lena, quiet.
2282
01:25:14,708 --> 01:25:15,917
You're gonna scare the gator.
2283
01:25:17,333 --> 01:25:18,292
We talked about this.
2284
01:25:18,750 --> 01:25:19,458
- When?
2285
01:25:21,667 --> 01:25:23,750
[growling]
2286
01:25:23,750 --> 01:25:28,250
♪ dramatic music playing ♪
2287
01:25:28,750 --> 01:25:29,833
- Yeah!
CROWD: Five,
2288
01:25:29,833 --> 01:25:33,458
four, three, two, one.
2289
01:25:33,458 --> 01:25:36,500
[cheering]
[airhorn blows]
2290
01:25:37,042 --> 01:25:39,458
BOOMER: El Pantera wins
the Valleymen round
2291
01:25:39,458 --> 01:25:43,333
and puts team Ice Russians
and team Best Friends neck and neck.
2292
01:25:43,333 --> 01:25:45,292
We'll see both of these teams
in the final round
2293
01:25:45,292 --> 01:25:47,750
for all the marbles.
2294
01:25:47,750 --> 01:25:49,750
ANNOUNCER: [sing-songy]
Cocaine Scarface.
2295
01:25:49,750 --> 01:25:52,667
BOOMER: You have three minutes
to snort as much cocaine as possible.
2296
01:25:52,667 --> 01:25:54,833
But if you pick your head up at any point,
2297
01:25:54,833 --> 01:25:58,375
you have to do your best Al Pacino
in Scarface impression
2298
01:25:58,375 --> 01:25:59,750
until you go back to snorting.
2299
01:25:59,750 --> 01:26:03,042
- The Gauntlet Win
will go to the team
with the most coke snorted
2300
01:26:03,042 --> 01:26:04,458
and the best Pacino'ing.
2301
01:26:04,458 --> 01:26:05,583
ANDREW: Come on, Hags, you got this.
2302
01:26:05,583 --> 01:26:08,125
[cheering]
- Let's go, Hags!
2303
01:26:08,125 --> 01:26:09,125
- Okay.
2304
01:26:10,000 --> 01:26:10,792
BOOMER/PUN-ISHER: Ready!
2305
01:26:12,833 --> 01:26:13,583
Set!
2306
01:26:15,500 --> 01:26:17,792
Binge!
2307
01:26:17,792 --> 01:26:18,875
[crowd cheering]
[sniffing]
2308
01:26:20,500 --> 01:26:23,083
- [imitating Al Pacino]
Say hello to my little friend.
2309
01:26:23,083 --> 01:26:24,458
- Yeah!
2310
01:26:24,458 --> 01:26:27,667
- Oh yeah, I'm... I'm Scarface.
2311
01:26:27,667 --> 01:26:30,208
I mean, look at my big ass scar
on my face.
2312
01:26:30,208 --> 01:26:32,000
I look just like him.
[crowd booing]
2313
01:26:32,000 --> 01:26:33,208
- Hags, have you ever seen Scarface?
2314
01:26:33,208 --> 01:26:35,250
- Yes, I've seen Scarface!
- Then do Scarface!
2315
01:26:35,833 --> 01:26:38,708
- [imitating Al Pacino] All I have
in this world is my word and my balls,
2316
01:26:38,708 --> 01:26:41,125
and I don't break 'em for no one.
2317
01:26:41,125 --> 01:26:44,042
- I have nipples, Focker. Can you milk me?
2318
01:26:45,000 --> 01:26:48,042
- That's Robert fucking De Niro
from Meet the Fockers.
2319
01:26:48,042 --> 01:26:49,125
- Dumbass.
2320
01:26:49,125 --> 01:26:50,167
- [imitating Al Pacino]
You know what a chazzer is?
2321
01:26:50,167 --> 01:26:52,292
It's a pig who don't fly straight.
2322
01:26:52,292 --> 01:26:55,208
- How does she know so much Scarface?
She's just crushing it.
2323
01:26:55,208 --> 01:26:57,583
- Who hasn't seen Scarface?
2324
01:26:57,583 --> 01:27:00,625
- I am the best Scarface
from here to Pelican Bay!
2325
01:27:00,625 --> 01:27:04,167
- I mean, you do a great Denzel,
but we're not doing Denzel right now.
2326
01:27:04,167 --> 01:27:06,542
- Kong King ain't got nothing on me!
2327
01:27:06,542 --> 01:27:08,083
- Get your head out of your ass, Hags.
- Yes, sir.
2328
01:27:08,083 --> 01:27:09,833
PUN-ISHER: Time is almost up.
- Oh my god.
2329
01:27:09,833 --> 01:27:11,417
- Dig deep, Hags. Here we go.
2330
01:27:11,417 --> 01:27:13,458
Push it to the limit, Hags!
2331
01:27:13,458 --> 01:27:16,875
[sniffing deeply]
2332
01:27:19,333 --> 01:27:22,417
♪ serene music playing ♪
2333
01:27:22,417 --> 01:27:24,583
- I'll have what she's having.
2334
01:27:24,583 --> 01:27:25,583
- Fucking dork.
2335
01:27:27,625 --> 01:27:29,000
- You gotta make your life matter.
2336
01:27:29,000 --> 01:27:30,583
Tonight we become legends, Griffin.
2337
01:27:30,583 --> 01:27:32,125
...we become legends-- become legends--
2338
01:27:33,333 --> 01:27:35,042
[thinking] Gauntlet legends.
2339
01:27:35,500 --> 01:27:37,833
What I wouldn't do to be up on this wall.
2340
01:27:39,333 --> 01:27:40,250
- Thank you, Quan.
2341
01:27:40,250 --> 01:27:41,625
Quan. Quan.
2342
01:27:41,625 --> 01:27:42,208
[growling]
2343
01:27:44,125 --> 01:27:45,250
- [imitating Al Pacino]
What're you lookin' at?
2344
01:27:46,125 --> 01:27:46,833
Hmm?
2345
01:27:50,042 --> 01:27:52,792
You're all a bunch of fuckin' assholes.
2346
01:27:53,292 --> 01:27:55,250
[scattered cheering]
2347
01:27:57,250 --> 01:27:58,583
'Cause you don't have the guts
2348
01:27:59,000 --> 01:28:00,917
to be what you wanna be.
2349
01:28:01,833 --> 01:28:04,417
You people just know how to hide,
2350
01:28:05,542 --> 01:28:06,667
how to lie.
2351
01:28:07,625 --> 01:28:08,875
But see, me, no,
2352
01:28:08,875 --> 01:28:11,083
I don't have no problems.
I don't have those problems.
2353
01:28:11,917 --> 01:28:13,792
'Cause I always tell the truth.
2354
01:28:15,250 --> 01:28:16,250
Even when I lie.
2355
01:28:18,500 --> 01:28:22,417
So say goodnight to the bad guy!
2356
01:28:23,917 --> 01:28:25,500
Because you'll never
2357
01:28:26,583 --> 01:28:29,292
see a bad guy like me again!
2358
01:28:30,583 --> 01:28:32,625
[crowd murmuring]
2359
01:28:37,042 --> 01:28:38,625
[all cheering]
2360
01:28:38,625 --> 01:28:43,500
♪ rousing music playing ♪
2361
01:28:43,500 --> 01:28:47,083
♪
2362
01:28:47,083 --> 01:28:49,542
[groaning]
2363
01:28:49,542 --> 01:28:51,917
BOOMER: Team Best Friends
have won the Gauntlet!
2364
01:28:51,917 --> 01:28:53,958
- We did it! We won!
2365
01:28:53,958 --> 01:28:56,375
[cheering continues]
2366
01:29:02,958 --> 01:29:07,542
[groaning]
2367
01:29:08,167 --> 01:29:10,000
I'll have what she's having!
2368
01:29:10,958 --> 01:29:13,375
[cheering]
2369
01:29:13,375 --> 01:29:15,083
♪ Andrew W. K.'s
It's Time to Party playing ♪
2370
01:29:15,083 --> 01:29:16,708
- ♪ Hang out with yourself
and have a crazy party ♪
2371
01:29:16,708 --> 01:29:19,333
♪ Hey you, let's party ♪
2372
01:29:19,333 --> 01:29:22,083
♪ Have a killer party and party! ♪
2373
01:29:22,083 --> 01:29:24,125
♪ Don't even try and deny it ♪
2374
01:29:24,125 --> 01:29:26,333
♪ 'Cause you're gonna have
a party tonight ♪
2375
01:29:26,917 --> 01:29:29,250
♪ And you know we're gonna do it tonight ♪
2376
01:29:29,708 --> 01:29:33,042
FREEMAN VOICE: And with that,
another Binge has come and gone.
2377
01:29:33,917 --> 01:29:38,333
Tough lessons, the kind only
experience teaches, have been learned.
2378
01:29:39,125 --> 01:29:42,500
With a little diligence,
this initiative can work.
2379
01:29:42,917 --> 01:29:45,917
It can strike fear, it can take lives,
2380
01:29:45,917 --> 01:29:48,208
but it can also save them.
2381
01:29:48,833 --> 01:29:50,750
So until next Binge,
2382
01:29:50,750 --> 01:29:53,042
stay alert, stay vigilant
2383
01:29:53,042 --> 01:29:56,792
and for heaven's sake, suck it down pipe.
2384
01:29:58,375 --> 01:29:59,125
[giggles]
2385
01:30:02,208 --> 01:30:03,000
GRIFFIN: Wow!
2386
01:30:03,000 --> 01:30:04,167
Lena, you look
2387
01:30:04,875 --> 01:30:06,583
so amazing.
LENA: What?
2388
01:30:06,583 --> 01:30:08,625
I just woke up like this!
2389
01:30:08,625 --> 01:30:11,333
♪ romantic music playing ♪
2390
01:30:14,958 --> 01:30:16,583
- Do you want me to put this on?
- Yeah.
2391
01:30:19,708 --> 01:30:20,583
- I'm proud of you.
2392
01:30:23,292 --> 01:30:24,958
- I'm proud of you too, Dad.
2393
01:30:26,750 --> 01:30:28,000
- All right, get out of here.
You two look great.
2394
01:30:28,000 --> 01:30:29,083
[Lena laughing]
2395
01:30:29,750 --> 01:30:31,083
- Thank you.
2396
01:30:32,500 --> 01:30:34,833
HAGS: Come on, Griffin!
[horn tooting]
2397
01:30:34,833 --> 01:30:36,542
ANDREW: Griffin!
- All right, guys, this is our stop.
This is our stop.
2398
01:30:36,542 --> 01:30:37,375
Everybody relax.
2399
01:30:37,375 --> 01:30:39,167
- You guys have fun!
Watch your speed limit in that thing.
2400
01:30:39,167 --> 01:30:40,833
- Yes, sir.
CARLSEN: Sarah, I love that hair.
2401
01:30:40,833 --> 01:30:42,625
It's crazy. Double bag it for me, Quan.
2402
01:30:43,042 --> 01:30:45,125
Andrew, nothing weird about you.
2403
01:30:45,125 --> 01:30:47,625
Kimmi... fantastic.
2404
01:30:48,333 --> 01:30:50,083
- Are we really riding this the whole way?
2405
01:30:50,083 --> 01:30:51,958
- This is the PromCycle. This thing fucks.
2406
01:30:51,958 --> 01:30:53,958
Let's go! Full speed ahead.
2407
01:30:53,958 --> 01:30:55,292
Time is wasting.
2408
01:30:55,292 --> 01:30:56,792
Come on, Lena.
Put your, put your thighs in it.
2409
01:30:56,792 --> 01:30:58,042
LENA: I am!
2410
01:30:58,042 --> 01:31:00,583
♪
2411
01:31:01,458 --> 01:31:02,500
- Who paid for the Fantas?
2412
01:31:02,500 --> 01:31:04,792
♪ upbeat music playing ♪
2413
01:31:06,500 --> 01:31:09,583
[horns honking, people clamoring]
2414
01:31:13,375 --> 01:31:15,333
- ♪ We're gonna get high,
gonna get baked ♪
2415
01:31:15,333 --> 01:31:16,375
♪ Till every inch of us just aches ♪
2416
01:31:16,375 --> 01:31:17,417
- Future boo.
2417
01:31:17,417 --> 01:31:18,708
[siren chirps]
2418
01:31:21,000 --> 01:31:22,875
♪ Have some shrooms,
then smoke some crack ♪
2419
01:31:22,875 --> 01:31:24,708
♪ Chase the Dragon and shoot some smack ♪
2420
01:31:24,708 --> 01:31:26,542
♪ We're gonna get high, gonna get baked ♪
2421
01:31:26,542 --> 01:31:28,458
♪ Till every inch of us just aches ♪
2422
01:31:28,458 --> 01:31:30,458
♪ Gonna do lines, gonna pop tabs ♪
2423
01:31:30,458 --> 01:31:32,375
♪ Ingest everything we grab ♪
2424
01:31:32,375 --> 01:31:34,125
♪ Cook some meth, how 'bout black tar ♪
2425
01:31:34,125 --> 01:31:38,667
♪ While giving hand jobs in the car ♪
2426
01:31:38,667 --> 01:31:40,750
♪ We're gonna get high, gonna get baked ♪
2427
01:31:40,750 --> 01:31:42,750
♪ Till every inch of us just aches ♪
2428
01:31:42,750 --> 01:31:44,667
♪ Gonna do lines, gonna pop tabs ♪
2429
01:31:44,667 --> 01:31:46,542
♪ Ingest everything we grab ♪
2430
01:31:46,542 --> 01:31:48,375
♪ Have some shrooms,
smoke some crack ♪
2431
01:31:48,375 --> 01:31:50,583
♪ Chase the Dragon and shoot some smack ♪
2432
01:31:50,583 --> 01:31:52,250
♪ 'Cause the only thing that matters ♪
2433
01:31:52,250 --> 01:31:54,542
♪ 'Cause the only thing
that matters when we ♪
2434
01:31:54,542 --> 01:31:57,333
♪ 'Cause the only thing
that matters is we get ♪
2435
01:31:57,333 --> 01:32:00,417
♪ So fucking ♪
2436
01:32:01,125 --> 01:32:07,083
♪ High! ♪
2437
01:32:11,458 --> 01:32:16,250
♪ swelling instrumental music playing ♪
2438
01:32:16,250 --> 01:32:20,625
♪
2439
01:32:24,958 --> 01:32:28,917
GRIFFIN: ♪ He said let's Binge, Griffin,
we'll have a rocking time ♪
2440
01:32:28,917 --> 01:32:32,458
♪ On the one night of the year
when railing lines is not a crime ♪
2441
01:32:32,458 --> 01:32:36,250
HAGS: ♪ Soon he's off to college
while I vanish from his brain ♪
2442
01:32:36,250 --> 01:32:39,625
♪ He'll be getting knowledge
and remember me as lame ♪
2443
01:32:39,625 --> 01:32:43,167
GRIFFIN: ♪ We thought it'd be terrific
to be substance abusers ♪
2444
01:32:43,167 --> 01:32:46,708
♪ But that was quite horrific,
you made us look like losers ♪
2445
01:32:46,708 --> 01:32:50,250
HAGS: ♪ The best night ever
turned out pretty rotten ♪
2446
01:32:50,250 --> 01:32:52,250
♪ Now when he's with
new friends at Brown ♪
2447
01:32:52,250 --> 01:32:54,042
♪ I will be forgotten ♪
2448
01:32:57,083 --> 01:33:00,292
GRIFFIN: ♪ I hate you so much, Hags,
you probably ruined my life ♪
2449
01:33:00,292 --> 01:33:03,583
♪ I almost asked Lena to prom
and then to be my wife ♪
2450
01:33:03,583 --> 01:33:05,000
GRIFFIN/HAGS:
♪ What the fuck is happening?
2451
01:33:05,000 --> 01:33:06,667
My brain's completely fried ♪
2452
01:33:06,667 --> 01:33:09,875
♪ The night became unhinged,
the thought just made me cringe ♪
2453
01:33:09,875 --> 01:33:13,750
♪ It's not how it should be
on the Binge! ♪
2454
01:33:15,250 --> 01:33:18,750
ANDREW: ♪ All I ever wanted
were some friends ♪
2455
01:33:18,750 --> 01:33:23,500
♪ Pals with me till the very end ♪
2456
01:33:23,500 --> 01:33:27,500
♪ How will I fix this now?
I really don't know how ♪
2457
01:33:27,500 --> 01:33:29,833
♪ We tore off an eyebrow ♪
2458
01:33:29,833 --> 01:33:34,583
♪ And killed a lovely cow ♪
2459
01:33:35,417 --> 01:33:37,292
ALL: ♪ We're gonna get high,
gonna get baked ♪
2460
01:33:37,292 --> 01:33:39,250
♪ Till every inch of us just aches ♪
2461
01:33:39,250 --> 01:33:41,167
♪ Gonna do lines, gonna pop tabs ♪
2462
01:33:41,167 --> 01:33:43,042
♪ Ingest everything we grab ♪
2463
01:33:43,042 --> 01:33:44,958
♪ Have some shrooms,
then smoke some crack ♪
2464
01:33:44,958 --> 01:33:46,958
♪ Chase the Dragon and shoot some smack ♪
2465
01:33:46,958 --> 01:33:50,708
♪ We won't stop till all our brains
are fucking fried ♪
2466
01:33:50,708 --> 01:33:54,167
♪ 'Cause the only thing that matters
when we binge ♪
2467
01:33:54,167 --> 01:33:55,750
♪ Is we're gonna get high ♪
2468
01:33:56,458 --> 01:34:00,000
GRIFFIN: ♪ If only I was brave
I could've asked her to the prom ♪
2469
01:34:00,000 --> 01:34:03,375
♪ I missed my opportunity
and now my boner's gone ♪
2470
01:34:03,375 --> 01:34:07,083
♪ They ripped my fucking eyebrow off
I'm stuck singing this ballad ♪
2471
01:34:07,083 --> 01:34:10,958
♪ While Lena's off with someone else
I'm tossing my own salad ♪
2472
01:34:17,917 --> 01:34:21,583
LENA: ♪ This will be the best prom ever ♪
2473
01:34:21,583 --> 01:34:25,000
♪ That promposal was so damn clever ♪
2474
01:34:25,000 --> 01:34:28,500
♪ But not knowing who,
I'm so glad it was you ♪
2475
01:34:28,500 --> 01:34:32,375
♪ And not someone like Griffin or Trevor ♪
2476
01:34:32,375 --> 01:34:37,458
♪ We'll live happily ever ♪
2477
01:34:38,875 --> 01:34:42,333
GRIFFIN: Nooo!
2478
01:34:42,333 --> 01:34:46,083
♪
2479
01:34:48,292 --> 01:34:51,625
HAGS: ♪ Sarah, my sweet, you're probably
with some foreign guy ♪
2480
01:34:51,625 --> 01:34:55,167
♪ You thought it'd be a treat,
maybe Swede, maybe Thai ♪
2481
01:34:57,250 --> 01:35:01,292
SARAH: ♪ Best night ever
maybe a one night stand ♪
2482
01:35:01,292 --> 01:35:03,542
♪ Who will be my new endeavor? ♪
2483
01:35:03,542 --> 01:35:05,542
♪ Could be a woman or a man ♪
2484
01:35:05,542 --> 01:35:09,875
♪ I don't give a fuck, maybe both ♪
2485
01:35:09,875 --> 01:35:14,167
♪ A three-way ought to float my boat ♪
2486
01:35:15,750 --> 01:35:17,625
♪ I'll try it all, see what's what ♪
2487
01:35:17,625 --> 01:35:19,625
♪ I'll even go 2 Girls 1 Cup ♪
2488
01:35:19,625 --> 01:35:21,542
♪ Maybe a horse, I don't care ♪
[horse neighs]
2489
01:35:21,542 --> 01:35:23,417
♪ Give me a Clydesdale, make it a pair ♪
2490
01:35:23,417 --> 01:35:27,625
KIMMI: ♪ Getting tired of little umbrellas
I'd rather drink from a sexy fella ♪
2491
01:35:27,625 --> 01:35:30,292
♪ Andrew could do the trick ♪
2492
01:35:31,208 --> 01:35:33,333
♪ I bet he's got a danger dick ♪
2493
01:35:34,625 --> 01:35:36,542
ALL: ♪ We're gonna get high,
gonna get baked ♪
2494
01:35:36,542 --> 01:35:38,542
♪ Till every inch of us just aches ♪
2495
01:35:38,542 --> 01:35:40,417
♪ Gonna do lines, gonna pop tabs ♪
2496
01:35:40,417 --> 01:35:42,292
♪ Ingest everything we grab ♪
2497
01:35:42,292 --> 01:35:44,167
♪ Have some shrooms,
smoke some crack ♪
2498
01:35:44,167 --> 01:35:46,292
♪ Chase the Dragon and shoot some smack ♪
2499
01:35:46,292 --> 01:35:49,875
♪ We won't stop till all our brains
are fucking fried ♪
2500
01:35:49,875 --> 01:35:53,333
♪ 'Cause the only thing that matters
when we binge ♪
2501
01:35:53,333 --> 01:35:54,875
♪ Is we're gonna get high ♪
2502
01:35:58,375 --> 01:36:00,708
SEB: ♪ Hey, little brother,
I thought you had given up ♪
2503
01:36:00,708 --> 01:36:03,000
♪ Quittin' from the shittin'
on each other just wasn't enough ♪
2504
01:36:03,000 --> 01:36:05,125
♪ I got a Gauntlet to win
so get out my way ♪
2505
01:36:05,125 --> 01:36:07,542
♪ I'm gonna beat the game,
get my name on the wall of fame ♪
2506
01:36:07,542 --> 01:36:09,792
ANDREW: ♪ You're my brother, man,
you're supposed to keep my shit on track ♪
2507
01:36:09,792 --> 01:36:12,292
♪ Instead you laughed while I collapsed
from a burrito stack ♪
2508
01:36:12,292 --> 01:36:14,042
♪ Now the gloves are off
the party has started ♪
2509
01:36:14,042 --> 01:36:16,292
♪ And when I finally take you down,
that shit gonna feel so cathartic ♪
2510
01:36:16,708 --> 01:36:18,917
SEB: ♪ You can't beat me, bro,
you got no worth ♪
2511
01:36:18,917 --> 01:36:21,083
♪ In case you forget
who was on this Earth first ♪
2512
01:36:21,083 --> 01:36:23,667
♪ You can't unseat me or defeat me
you got half my girth ♪
2513
01:36:23,667 --> 01:36:25,208
♪ Bitch, you nothing but an afterbirth ♪
2514
01:36:25,917 --> 01:36:27,833
ANDREW: ♪ Kick back, man,
you're bunching your panties ♪
2515
01:36:27,833 --> 01:36:30,292
♪ You're just the shit that mom took
before she had me ♪
2516
01:36:30,292 --> 01:36:33,000
♪ Now don't sweat the technique
I'll hit you with another dick dart ♪
2517
01:36:33,000 --> 01:36:34,750
♪ And make you pee in three streams ♪
2518
01:36:34,750 --> 01:36:36,125
♪ Streams, streams ♪
2519
01:36:36,125 --> 01:36:38,208
CARLSEN: ♪ Griffin, Griffin,
get in this car right now ♪
2520
01:36:39,667 --> 01:36:43,667
♪ Did you hear? Did you hear?
You said you'd be my eyes and ears ♪
2521
01:36:43,667 --> 01:36:47,375
♪ Now your Binge-ing got me cringing
don't just sit there, start that engine ♪
2522
01:36:47,375 --> 01:36:52,583
♪
2523
01:36:58,458 --> 01:37:00,375
ALL: ♪ We're gonna get high,
gonna get baked ♪
2524
01:37:00,375 --> 01:37:02,375
♪ Till every inch of us just aches ♪
2525
01:37:02,375 --> 01:37:04,250
♪ Gonna do lines, gonna pop tabs ♪
2526
01:37:04,250 --> 01:37:06,083
♪ Ingest everything we grab ♪
2527
01:37:06,083 --> 01:37:07,958
♪ Have some shrooms,
then smoke some crack ♪
2528
01:37:07,958 --> 01:37:09,792
♪ Chase the Dragon and shoot some smack ♪
2529
01:37:09,792 --> 01:37:11,667
♪ We're gonna get high, gonna get baked ♪
2530
01:37:11,667 --> 01:37:13,708
♪ Till every inch of us just aches ♪
2531
01:37:13,708 --> 01:37:15,583
♪ Gonna do lines, gonna pop tabs ♪
2532
01:37:15,583 --> 01:37:17,458
♪ Ingest everything we grab ♪
2533
01:37:17,458 --> 01:37:19,250
♪ Cook some meth, how 'bout black tar ♪
2534
01:37:19,250 --> 01:37:23,875
♪ While giving hand jobs in the car ♪
2535
01:37:23,875 --> 01:37:25,917
♪ We're gonna get high, gonna get baked ♪
2536
01:37:25,917 --> 01:37:27,875
♪ Till every inch of us just aches ♪
2537
01:37:27,875 --> 01:37:29,792
♪ Gonna do lines, gonna pop tabs ♪
2538
01:37:29,792 --> 01:37:31,583
♪ Ingest everything we grab ♪
2539
01:37:31,583 --> 01:37:33,500
♪ Have some shrooms,
then smoke some crack ♪
2540
01:37:33,500 --> 01:37:35,625
♪ Chase the Dragon and shoot some smack ♪
2541
01:37:35,625 --> 01:37:37,375
♪ 'Cause the only thing
that matters when we ♪
2542
01:37:37,375 --> 01:37:39,458
♪ 'Cause the only thing that
matters when we ♪
2543
01:37:39,458 --> 01:37:42,417
♪ 'Cause the only thing
that matters is we get ♪
2544
01:37:42,417 --> 01:37:45,542
♪ So fucking ♪
2545
01:37:46,208 --> 01:37:52,167
♪ High ♪