1 00:00:02,000 --> 00:00:07,000 Downloaded from YTS.MX 2 00:00:08,000 --> 00:00:13,000 Official YIFY movies site: YTS.MX 3 00:00:12,000 --> 00:00:15,760 Reese: Picture this if you will.... 4 00:00:15,760 --> 00:00:19,720 It had been three days. And the last drop of water I'd had was to 5 00:00:19,720 --> 00:00:25,060 wash down the sacred cactus that I received from father crow. 6 00:00:25,200 --> 00:00:30,980 There I am, riding a burro dick-first into the belly of Death Valley 7 00:00:31,060 --> 00:00:35,660 when all of a sudden the great snake, Quetzalcoatl, cracked the sky like a son of a- 8 00:00:35,660 --> 00:00:38,560 Christian: Shut up, shut up, he's turning, he's turning. 9 00:00:38,660 --> 00:00:41,080 Reese: Yeah, we don't have to talk about it right now. 10 00:00:42,460 --> 00:00:45,600 We've been following this subject for the past two hours 11 00:00:45,600 --> 00:00:49,420 He hasn't caught on to us yet. if we could follow him back to his house that 12 00:00:49,420 --> 00:00:53,500 would be a big deal because as of right now nobody knows where he lives. 13 00:00:54,440 --> 00:00:56,580 Alright. All clear. 14 00:00:58,200 --> 00:00:59,720 [mic feedback] 15 00:01:00,620 --> 00:01:02,800 [Suspenseful music] 16 00:02:01,720 --> 00:02:04,280 Christian: Shut up for a minute, okay? 17 00:02:05,180 --> 00:02:06,480 We're here. 18 00:02:10,760 --> 00:02:14,280 [Excited murmuring] 19 00:02:29,140 --> 00:02:31,220 Christian: Go go go go! 20 00:02:52,640 --> 00:02:57,080 Okay! if any of you made a fucking sound I will personally skin your face, 21 00:02:57,080 --> 00:03:00,460 Turn that skin into leather, and use that leather to sew your lip shut. 22 00:03:00,460 --> 00:03:03,900 Mike: Woah woah wait. Shouldn't we just knock first? 23 00:03:03,960 --> 00:03:05,600 Don't be chickenshit, Mike. 24 00:03:05,600 --> 00:03:07,100 Yeah, Mike. 25 00:03:07,100 --> 00:03:08,980 Yeah, Mike! 26 00:03:16,360 --> 00:03:20,040 I'm sorry. That was really inappropriate of me. 27 00:03:20,160 --> 00:03:22,220 [Kissing sound] 28 00:03:26,040 --> 00:03:29,240 [Foreboding music] 29 00:03:33,520 --> 00:03:37,800 [Muffled singing] 30 00:03:39,260 --> 00:03:42,820 Christian: What the... fuck? 31 00:03:45,500 --> 00:03:48,000 Where's that coming from? 32 00:03:48,000 --> 00:03:49,600 Reese: you hear that too? 33 00:03:53,700 --> 00:03:57,000 [Singing getting louder] 34 00:04:01,960 --> 00:04:04,520 Out of the way! Out of the way! Mr. Wood! 35 00:04:04,840 --> 00:04:07,540 Will Wood: What the f***? [Unintelligible] Who the f*** are you? Who are you? What the f***? No, get that the f*** out of my face [Unintelligible] 36 00:04:07,540 --> 00:04:09,060 [Unintelligible shouting] 37 00:04:09,120 --> 00:04:10,100 Christian: I just want to ask you a couple - 38 00:04:10,100 --> 00:04:10,600 [Yelling and splashing] 39 00:04:10,600 --> 00:04:11,460 No, get that the f*** out of 40 00:04:11,600 --> 00:04:12,260 What are you doing? 41 00:04:12,260 --> 00:04:14,880 Christian:For this documentary we're making about you. Will: No no no no no no [bubbles] stop stop stop 42 00:04:14,880 --> 00:04:17,400 Christian: If you could just come out of the tub for a second I won't take a lot of your time 43 00:04:17,640 --> 00:04:18,440 [Cry of despair] 44 00:04:18,440 --> 00:04:19,640 [Shouting over each other] 45 00:04:19,640 --> 00:04:21,100 Christian: Five minutes of your time! 46 00:04:21,200 --> 00:04:22,980 Christian: We're making a documentary... [unintelligible] Will: Ow! 47 00:04:22,980 --> 00:04:24,360 Now it's kicking in! 48 00:04:25,440 --> 00:04:28,060 [Sirens and horns] 49 00:04:40,960 --> 00:04:46,080 [Band plays "6-up 5-Oh Copout Pro/Con" by Will Wood] 50 00:08:07,320 --> 00:08:11,820 I'm Christian Dunning, documentarian. Documentarian and founder of Danger Baby Films. 51 00:08:13,100 --> 00:08:16,640 I've directed several noteworthy investigative features, including Peanut Boy: A Lifestyle 52 00:08:17,660 --> 00:08:19,960 Film festival favorite The Lonely Eyes 53 00:08:19,980 --> 00:08:22,100 And Fuck Dog. 54 00:08:22,860 --> 00:08:28,480 I've always been fascinated by fringe individuals. Subcultures. The enigmatic personalities who thrive 55 00:08:28,480 --> 00:08:32,080 within the shadows of society, unhindered by the status quo. 56 00:08:32,080 --> 00:08:35,280 And in the underbelly of the living, breathing organism that is the state of New Jersey 57 00:08:35,280 --> 00:08:38,360 One man is setting out to create a world of his own. 58 00:08:38,400 --> 00:08:42,840 Guiding his cult-like followers into a world outside of what we perceive as real. 59 00:08:42,900 --> 00:08:47,460 Which begs the question: who is the real Will Wood? 60 00:08:47,940 --> 00:08:49,800 This is what we know. 61 00:08:49,860 --> 00:08:51,640 Will: I'm off my medication. 62 00:08:51,740 --> 00:08:53,880 [Bottle breaking, crowd groaning] 63 00:08:54,040 --> 00:08:55,960 Interviewer: Love this outfit. 64 00:08:55,960 --> 00:08:57,200 Will: [gurgling] thank you. 65 00:08:57,200 --> 00:09:00,400 Maybe the fucking mood stabilizers aren't quite fucking working. 66 00:09:00,400 --> 00:09:03,540 Will [Voice Over]: I wish you were my daughter, I wish you were my daughter, I wish you were my daughter. 67 00:09:03,540 --> 00:09:05,000 Interviewer: You're not on acid, are you? 68 00:09:05,000 --> 00:09:08,880 Will Wood is a notoriously eccentric singer-songwriter with a growing cult following. 69 00:09:08,960 --> 00:09:13,680 But despite his increasing notoriety, it's almost impossible to find any definitive information about him. 70 00:09:13,680 --> 00:09:19,400 Different sources give different accounts on even the most basic facts of his life, he's been known to shy away from public appearances, 71 00:09:19,520 --> 00:09:24,380 And even his fans seem to know almost nothing about him. Who is the real Will Wood? 72 00:09:24,380 --> 00:09:27,220 He's a rap scallion of the highest order, do not trust this man. 73 00:09:27,220 --> 00:09:29,460 Damned if I know, damned if I could tell you. 74 00:09:29,620 --> 00:09:36,620 I don't know how to explain it. It's like just being you and me. Without being, uh, no doubt, by being pushed around by anybody else. 75 00:09:36,620 --> 00:09:38,860 Lives out in the woods, eating frozen waffles man, I don't know. 76 00:09:38,860 --> 00:09:40,860 He's out there man, real cat. 77 00:09:40,860 --> 00:09:42,260 I don't think anybody really knows. 78 00:09:42,280 --> 00:09:43,460 A mystery, an enigma. 79 00:09:43,460 --> 00:09:44,120 Exactly. 80 00:09:44,160 --> 00:09:46,160 Can't put it any other way. 81 00:09:46,780 --> 00:09:47,900 Which way are we going? 82 00:09:48,000 --> 00:09:49,120 [Confused mumbling] 83 00:09:49,420 --> 00:09:51,100 I like your microphone. It's a nice touch. 84 00:09:51,100 --> 00:09:52,240 I'm excited to find out. 85 00:09:52,240 --> 00:09:53,700 That's a fancy camera, nice lights. 86 00:09:53,700 --> 00:09:54,700 Christian: Excuse me, sir? 87 00:09:54,700 --> 00:09:57,220 Well that's a horrifying question, I have no idea. 88 00:09:57,320 --> 00:09:58,540 He's the realest. 89 00:09:58,540 --> 00:09:59,460 He's not real! 90 00:09:59,600 --> 00:10:01,820 Excuse me sir, excuse me, who is the real Will Wood? 91 00:10:01,820 --> 00:10:02,680 Will: are you fucking-- 92 00:10:02,680 --> 00:10:03,460 [Shrieks] 93 00:10:03,460 --> 00:10:05,460 Hello who is the Real Will Wood? 94 00:10:05,460 --> 00:10:06,280 What? 95 00:10:06,280 --> 00:10:07,280 Say something, Mike. 96 00:10:07,280 --> 00:10:08,120 Where am I? 97 00:10:08,120 --> 00:10:09,620 Just make it up! 98 00:10:09,620 --> 00:10:10,640 Dude, come on. 99 00:10:10,640 --> 00:10:12,640 We need one shot. We need one shot! 100 00:10:12,640 --> 00:10:15,620 Mike! Mike! Mike! 101 00:10:16,320 --> 00:10:23,720 What we do know is that he's between the ages of 22 and 28, and that he lives in New Jersey, with his most-likely adopted daughter. 102 00:10:23,720 --> 00:10:26,640 Who may or may not exist. 103 00:10:27,280 --> 00:10:29,560 And that's about all we know. 104 00:10:29,560 --> 00:10:32,360 But here at Danger Baby Films, we have a saying. 105 00:10:32,460 --> 00:10:35,260 You can't spell documentary without cum. 106 00:10:36,260 --> 00:10:37,500 Nope. 107 00:10:37,500 --> 00:10:40,940 No seriously, it's right there. D-O-C-U-M... 108 00:10:40,940 --> 00:10:44,460 The point is; we don't shy away from a challenge. 109 00:10:44,460 --> 00:10:45,780 It's right there. 110 00:10:45,780 --> 00:10:52,740 So when my curiosity got the better of me, I set out to answer that question. Who is the real Will-- 111 00:10:52,740 --> 00:10:54,940 I thought I was going to say it. 112 00:10:54,940 --> 00:10:57,700 [talking over each other] Who is the real-- 113 00:10:58,880 --> 00:11:00,240 [Talking over each other] Who is-- 114 00:11:00,240 --> 00:11:03,540 The real Will Wood? 115 00:11:07,080 --> 00:11:09,420 I thought I saw a ghost. 116 00:11:12,890 --> 00:11:16,889 [Will Wood plays "Black Box Warrant"] 117 00:12:41,260 --> 00:12:43,200 [Music pauses] 118 00:12:43,320 --> 00:12:48,400 Well he was uh. He was uh. He was, he was carrying the 119 00:12:48,400 --> 00:12:51,720 skin of a cat that he grew up with and 120 00:12:51,720 --> 00:12:56,440 then had stuffed to preserve its memory in 121 00:12:56,440 --> 00:12:59,620 physical form but decided that with the 122 00:12:59,620 --> 00:13:07,440 skeleton inside the cat and all the stuff stuffing it it was too heavy so he removed the skin from the wireframe 123 00:13:07,560 --> 00:13:13,460 of the taxidermy thing and slung it around his neck like a scarf. And um. 124 00:13:17,420 --> 00:13:19,690 He was... [song resumes] 125 00:14:38,300 --> 00:14:43,350 I settled into a new mind in a flea-bitten tub-ring paradise of a queen size suite 126 00:14:43,350 --> 00:14:47,980 of a Wyndham Microtel Econolodge Red Roof Inn Knights Inn Super 8 whatever outside Richmond Virginia. 127 00:14:49,000 --> 00:14:52,840 Curled up with an old Showtime softcore porno and flipped through my phone for a few hours. 128 00:14:53,040 --> 00:15:00,920 Picked up a bag of swedish fish and a fistful of chocolate-covered cherries and a pack of Marlboro next for three dollars and ninety cents in the bodega by the Waffle House. 129 00:15:01,240 --> 00:15:05,460 I spun my eyes over the beautiful floral arrangements blooming and tessellating in the stucco on the walls. 130 00:15:05,460 --> 00:15:08,600 anything I figured to keep my mind off those goose bumps that were rising and squeaking and cracking and 131 00:15:08,700 --> 00:15:13,060 quacking and threatening anaphylaxis and asphyxiation with every sharp inhale that I took. 132 00:15:13,220 --> 00:15:16,140 With the threat of Stevens-Johnson syndrome behind my flesh. 133 00:15:16,140 --> 00:15:22,220 And I watched as my skin crawled upwards to form a flesh noose to hang me from the rafters of that place I had found myself in 134 00:15:22,960 --> 00:15:28,240 And I watched as my epidermis took on the shape whatever I feared the most in that moment. And I sat there down in that 135 00:15:28,600 --> 00:15:33,860 flytrap-ashtray contemplating my next move, and weighing out the pros and cons 136 00:15:33,980 --> 00:15:38,320 of every last rotten pulse. 137 00:15:38,360 --> 00:15:41,380 It was either Wilmington North Carolina or the nearest hospital. 138 00:16:19,560 --> 00:16:25,100 Kevin: Little-known fact, we used... I have a really old piano that we used for the recording. 139 00:16:25,380 --> 00:16:31,400 He broke it, from playing it too hard. And then there was somehow blood on the upper half of the keys from all the sliding. 140 00:16:31,860 --> 00:16:35,260 So, the blister juice... still haven't cleaned that off. 141 00:16:35,320 --> 00:16:38,960 I think the first day we had booked he didn't even show up? 142 00:16:39,220 --> 00:16:44,420 I tried to contact his people, could not get a response. Eventually somehow I got a hold of him. 143 00:16:44,560 --> 00:16:47,240 Can't remember how that happened but he said 144 00:16:47,600 --> 00:16:50,600 he was using a different calendar. Like Mayan? I don't understand 145 00:16:50,600 --> 00:16:52,280 I don't know, we haven't let him back. 146 00:16:52,480 --> 00:16:54,940 the whole time he was on stilts. so sometimes he would come 147 00:16:54,940 --> 00:16:58,780 with to the sessions in different characters and one time he was like a 148 00:16:58,780 --> 00:17:02,220 greaser type character and just acted like an asshole the whole time. He would 149 00:17:02,720 --> 00:17:07,850 not get out of character, he would kick over garbage cans and not pick it up. 150 00:17:07,850 --> 00:17:10,800 Uh... I mean there's the infamous clown I mean that needs no explanation. 151 00:17:11,200 --> 00:17:20,320 what you have to do is become somebody other than what you thought you were in order to become somebody that somebody else could want 152 00:17:20,380 --> 00:17:23,880 He would nourish himself from this like, plastic bone. 153 00:17:24,080 --> 00:17:28,140 He brought like all these huge books and he had like four or five of those and he 154 00:17:28,460 --> 00:17:31,680 would just like have them all set up and he'd flip through them and when he left 155 00:17:31,960 --> 00:17:35,700 the room and I was able to go in there without him seeing me, without his entourage, 156 00:17:35,700 --> 00:17:41,720 I like quickly like glanced at them and there was nothing in there it was all blank. And I was just... 157 00:17:41,860 --> 00:17:43,500 That was weird to me. 158 00:17:43,680 --> 00:17:51,940 He would watch videos... I think it was YouTube about trains like old-timey train videos. Which is... 159 00:17:52,000 --> 00:17:53,880 I don't know what that does for him. 160 00:17:54,160 --> 00:17:56,440 he had like these weird little like gadgets that were like 161 00:17:56,680 --> 00:17:59,640 alarm clocks and he would hide them all 162 00:17:59,740 --> 00:18:04,660 around the room and I could never find them and they still go off and I can't find all of them, 163 00:18:04,780 --> 00:18:09,820 So I think he may have hid some in the walls when we were doing construction and now they're sealed up in there 164 00:18:09,820 --> 00:18:11,560 it's pretty fucking annoying 165 00:18:11,980 --> 00:18:14,460 [Muffled beeping sound] 166 00:18:14,980 --> 00:18:18,880 I majored in Chinese literature at um... 167 00:18:19,260 --> 00:18:21,640 somebody name a college. 168 00:18:21,740 --> 00:18:24,680 He had an entourage of people with him and he was cloaked 169 00:18:24,900 --> 00:18:28,360 so when he went in the room I couldn't even see him. 170 00:18:30,100 --> 00:18:32,400 I don't know if I've met him yet. 171 00:18:32,560 --> 00:18:35,280 I don't have an identity, I have an aesthetic. 172 00:18:35,400 --> 00:18:40,920 He's incredible at basketball. Particularly three points. Nothing but net every time. 173 00:18:43,580 --> 00:18:45,300 I think he's a... 174 00:18:47,000 --> 00:18:48,700 tall, but... 175 00:18:48,700 --> 00:18:50,360 but sad man. 176 00:18:50,360 --> 00:18:54,180 [The band plays "Red Moon" by Will Wood] 177 00:23:03,620 --> 00:23:08,500 [Applause] 178 00:23:09,320 --> 00:23:14,580 We're here at Roxy and Dukes, de facto home base for Will Wood and his cult. If you look through here-- 179 00:23:14,580 --> 00:23:20,160 Vernon: step lively breeders, I have more pressing matters to attend to. Hey Griffin, that doesn't go there. Stage left. Left. 180 00:23:20,160 --> 00:23:22,760 Christan: He is going to see us though, right? 181 00:23:22,760 --> 00:23:25,600 Vernon: Well I don't know, William doesn't exactly love doing interviews during his pre-show rituals so you 182 00:23:25,760 --> 00:23:27,440 have as much time as he's willing to give you. 183 00:23:27,520 --> 00:23:29,040 Christan: But he will see us? 184 00:23:29,040 --> 00:23:32,120 Vernon: Well I don't know, I haven't made an appointment in the 90 seconds that you've been here. 185 00:23:32,120 --> 00:23:33,840 Plus ever since his daughter showed up-- 186 00:23:33,840 --> 00:23:36,100 Okay, okay, so he does have a daughter, then. 187 00:23:36,100 --> 00:23:39,160 Of course he has a fucking daughter, what kind of a person would lie about have a daughter? 188 00:23:39,300 --> 00:23:43,260 Uh, this is my daughter, Millicent K. Wood. 189 00:23:44,540 --> 00:23:47,120 She is a few years old. 190 00:23:47,420 --> 00:23:55,440 And here she stands before you made of uh... uh... flesh. Um... and bones. 191 00:23:55,620 --> 00:23:56,960 And other gross... 192 00:23:56,980 --> 00:23:58,840 the things that inside the body. 193 00:23:58,840 --> 00:24:01,820 um alright that's enough you can go. Go. 194 00:24:02,000 --> 00:24:03,260 Seems kind of young? 195 00:24:03,260 --> 00:24:06,000 He's an old soul. He doesn't want public attention to do to Millie 196 00:24:06,060 --> 00:24:08,700 what it does so literally every other young girl the public eye. 197 00:24:08,800 --> 00:24:11,760 Constantly having to maintain parasocial relationships in your most formative years 198 00:24:11,860 --> 00:24:14,600 isn't exactly the best way to avoid developing a complex where you place 199 00:24:14,600 --> 00:24:17,440 too much self-worth on your value to others are some kind of commodity-- 200 00:24:17,520 --> 00:24:22,840 Hey Griffin! What the fuck are you doing with that par can? Yeah. I can see you. 201 00:24:23,800 --> 00:24:26,980 And need constant external validation to function emotionally 202 00:24:27,020 --> 00:24:30,060 And fill that void with whatever distracts you from its existence. 203 00:24:30,280 --> 00:24:32,700 As far as William's concerned sticking a camera in his face 204 00:24:32,700 --> 00:24:34,820 is like offering his daughter cocaine. 205 00:24:35,580 --> 00:24:36,540 Anyways, he's through here. 206 00:24:36,700 --> 00:24:37,680 Thank you. 207 00:24:38,800 --> 00:24:40,800 [Whispers] Yeah, fine. 208 00:24:42,880 --> 00:24:47,180 But as far as your boss is concerned; you're a fucking coke dealer. 209 00:24:51,640 --> 00:24:53,760 Hey Griffin, why don't you take five for lunch 210 00:24:53,760 --> 00:24:55,320 and eat shit? 211 00:24:56,260 --> 00:24:57,860 Wait, did you say she has cocaine? 212 00:24:57,880 --> 00:24:58,540 No, Reese. 213 00:24:59,680 --> 00:25:00,540 Okay. 214 00:25:01,500 --> 00:25:04,480 Mr. Wood? Christian Dunning, documentarian. I'd like to-- 215 00:25:09,420 --> 00:25:11,640 What is this? 216 00:25:12,100 --> 00:25:16,340 Traditional Yogic pose. Looks like Kundalini's reawakening exercise. 217 00:25:16,880 --> 00:25:18,080 [Sniffs cocaine] 218 00:25:18,300 --> 00:25:19,640 It's fucking weird 219 00:25:19,780 --> 00:25:20,980 Mike: we're rolling. 220 00:25:21,360 --> 00:25:23,840 You've been known for defying genre. 221 00:25:24,080 --> 00:25:27,720 Uh, you've been compared to Tom Waits, Elton John, My Chemical Romance... 222 00:25:27,860 --> 00:25:31,100 where do you find your influences? 223 00:25:37,320 --> 00:25:42,580 So uh...it's been half an hour and uh... 224 00:25:46,920 --> 00:25:52,540 I just saw you break into somebody's house I am not gonna sit here and indulge you 225 00:25:52,720 --> 00:25:55,740 idea that you're fucking enlightened or whatever. 226 00:25:57,020 --> 00:25:59,800 [Snapping fingers and slapping] 227 00:25:59,800 --> 00:26:05,420 I know you can hear me you little shit. I know you can hear me fuckface. 228 00:26:09,240 --> 00:26:11,580 I can't take this shit. Come on Siddhartha. 229 00:26:11,580 --> 00:26:13,900 I can't take this shit. Hey shithead. 230 00:26:13,920 --> 00:26:15,420 I can't take this shit. 231 00:26:15,500 --> 00:26:17,140 Time to be here now, Ram Dass. 232 00:26:17,140 --> 00:26:19,240 I won't take this shit! 233 00:26:19,400 --> 00:26:21,420 Mike where's my klonopin? 234 00:26:21,420 --> 00:26:22,660 Mike: I, uh... 235 00:26:22,660 --> 00:26:24,440 Did you not bring my fucking klonopin? 236 00:26:24,440 --> 00:26:25,520 Mike: I didn't know I was supposed to... 237 00:26:25,640 --> 00:26:27,820 Great. Fucking great model employee Mike. 238 00:26:27,820 --> 00:26:29,440 Mike: You never... paid me... 239 00:26:29,440 --> 00:26:31,120 Reese: you want a bump dude? 240 00:26:31,120 --> 00:26:32,040 Where did you get that? 241 00:26:32,040 --> 00:26:32,860 The coke dealer. 242 00:26:32,860 --> 00:26:34,240 Mike: I don't think you should be-- 243 00:26:34,360 --> 00:26:35,320 Hey, shut the fuck up, Mike. 244 00:26:35,320 --> 00:26:36,420 Yeah, Mike! 245 00:26:36,420 --> 00:26:38,220 You too you fucking goblin! 246 00:26:38,220 --> 00:26:40,380 everyone of you is a fucking goblin you 247 00:26:40,400 --> 00:26:42,480 know that? Just...just...this is the problem 248 00:26:42,540 --> 00:26:45,440 no one here is willing to do anything more than the bare fucking minimum. 249 00:26:45,580 --> 00:26:49,940 Just passing off responsibility to everybody but themselves like... 250 00:26:50,180 --> 00:26:51,820 Like a fucking goblin! 251 00:26:52,520 --> 00:26:55,800 You're a goblin, you're all fucking goblins! 252 00:26:55,800 --> 00:26:58,620 I'm surrounded by goblins! 253 00:26:59,340 --> 00:27:01,340 [Microphone feedback] 254 00:27:05,760 --> 00:27:08,900 Okay. Okay. 255 00:27:10,520 --> 00:27:11,980 [Shouting] 256 00:27:11,980 --> 00:27:13,980 [Plate shattering] 257 00:27:17,960 --> 00:27:20,440 Yeah if you could just get here as soon as possible. 258 00:27:20,520 --> 00:27:24,180 I think he's concussed. There's a lot of blood. 259 00:27:24,340 --> 00:27:27,640 All right. Yeah. Please hurry. Thanks so much. 260 00:27:29,700 --> 00:27:32,440 Pizza will be here in 15. 261 00:27:32,440 --> 00:27:37,400 [The band plays "White Knuckle Jerk" by Will Wood] 262 00:31:58,940 --> 00:32:01,180 [Applause] Do you still like me? I'm feeling very vulnerable. 263 00:32:02,120 --> 00:32:03,680 [Applause] 264 00:32:08,340 --> 00:32:09,940 Audience member: Fuck! 265 00:32:11,900 --> 00:32:15,040 I no longer feel safe. 266 00:32:15,780 --> 00:32:18,640 Will can handle hecklers with the best of them 267 00:32:18,640 --> 00:32:24,400 [Booing] Will: Fuck you that fucking sucks dude! That was all bad notes! 268 00:32:24,400 --> 00:32:28,020 [Audience chanting] No talent! No talent! No talent! 269 00:32:28,260 --> 00:32:30,400 He is just calm and cool. 270 00:32:30,780 --> 00:32:33,460 I would rather be drawn and quartered by neo-nazis riding the backs of 271 00:32:33,460 --> 00:32:37,420 wildebeests then listen to another unholy marriage of consonant and vowel 272 00:32:37,420 --> 00:32:39,380 coming out of that foul hole you call mouth. 273 00:32:39,960 --> 00:32:42,760 He never loses the levity. 274 00:32:43,000 --> 00:32:46,460 That's the fucking dumbest thing I ever heard. You gotta shut the fuck up who the hell are you? 275 00:32:46,460 --> 00:32:47,640 Whatever I already have your money. 276 00:32:47,760 --> 00:32:52,620 When he's saying something on stage he really likes when the fans yell really loud. 277 00:32:52,620 --> 00:32:58,260 yeah that is the best contribution I've heard all night! 278 00:32:58,460 --> 00:33:01,560 Because um... it's an interruption of the 279 00:33:01,560 --> 00:33:04,560 thing that he worked so hard to produce 280 00:33:04,560 --> 00:33:07,200 Thank you so much. You taught me something. 281 00:33:07,360 --> 00:33:12,060 So he really enjoys the feeling of that sort of being snatched from his clutches. 282 00:33:13,200 --> 00:33:15,200 [Microphone feedback] 283 00:33:17,180 --> 00:33:22,200 Will put into place and name-your-own-price policy for merchandise. 284 00:33:26,360 --> 00:33:28,640 It was a short trial run. 285 00:33:38,700 --> 00:33:41,920 [Laughing hysterically] 286 00:33:41,920 --> 00:33:43,180 [Weeping softly] 287 00:33:43,280 --> 00:33:46,400 My balls are wet so. That usually means my work is done. 288 00:33:46,680 --> 00:33:48,860 [???] 289 00:33:49,460 --> 00:33:51,280 Will Wood is a f***ing lunatic. 290 00:33:52,720 --> 00:33:55,100 For those of you just tuning in yes those are teeth. 291 00:33:55,220 --> 00:33:56,580 Mike: Let's see 'em, how many did you get? 292 00:33:56,580 --> 00:33:58,080 Fan: He just has real teeth. 293 00:33:58,180 --> 00:33:59,240 Will is kind of strange. 294 00:33:59,300 --> 00:34:00,560 I have a few in my pocket. 295 00:34:00,700 --> 00:34:02,080 Wow! You got a lot! 296 00:34:02,720 --> 00:34:04,380 You definitely got more. 297 00:34:04,420 --> 00:34:05,800 Come here. 298 00:34:09,060 --> 00:34:11,400 Oh, where do I get the teeth? The internet. China. 299 00:34:11,500 --> 00:34:13,780 Welcome to the show, how you been, what's your name? 300 00:34:14,800 --> 00:34:16,480 Here I go, crowdsurfing. 301 00:34:16,740 --> 00:34:18,600 Let's open up this fucking pit. 302 00:34:19,640 --> 00:34:24,300 [The band plays "Front Street" by Will Wood] 303 00:34:31,180 --> 00:34:33,000 If you're not your worst behavior... 304 00:34:33,180 --> 00:34:34,300 Get the fuck out. 305 00:39:24,980 --> 00:39:28,600 Alright! Thanks to our tenacity, 306 00:39:28,840 --> 00:39:34,800 perseverance, and general strength of spirit we have moved forward! 307 00:39:34,800 --> 00:39:40,740 Undaunted by misfortune! we've secured another interview with Mr. Wood despite all the apparent 308 00:39:40,860 --> 00:39:45,760 challenges. Just took a little bit of persuasive language. 309 00:39:49,160 --> 00:39:51,420 You know, Reese can be difficult sometimes. 310 00:39:52,240 --> 00:39:53,460 [Yelling] 311 00:39:53,840 --> 00:39:54,920 No! 312 00:39:55,200 --> 00:39:56,840 Did I put it on the grill? 313 00:39:57,160 --> 00:39:57,940 [Screaming] 314 00:39:57,940 --> 00:39:58,900 [???] 315 00:40:00,900 --> 00:40:07,440 He's a habitual user of barbiturates, hard stimulants, hallucinogens, and weed 316 00:40:07,840 --> 00:40:15,600 and he always breaks at least $100 worth of equipment per shoot but god damn it if Reese Van Krueger isn't the finest line producer I've ever met. 317 00:40:15,600 --> 00:40:18,180 Yes, good afternoon, this is Detective R.L. Stine 318 00:40:18,220 --> 00:40:22,060 with the Endicott Sheriff's Department. We have reason to believe that there may 319 00:40:22,060 --> 00:40:25,920 be a suspect in a high-level drug trafficking case currently at your 320 00:40:25,920 --> 00:40:32,380 facility. Has anyone checked in the last 24 hours with the name Will Wood? 321 00:40:34,000 --> 00:40:34,860 Okay. 322 00:40:35,440 --> 00:40:40,340 I'm gonna need a room number for the individual right away. Okay. 323 00:40:40,340 --> 00:40:46,220 dispatch is setting over units right now please stay where you are. Okay? 324 00:40:46,860 --> 00:40:49,480 Alright yes. Thank you. 325 00:40:50,440 --> 00:40:52,100 I'm very drunk, goodbye. 326 00:40:52,840 --> 00:40:58,520 [Action Music] 327 00:41:03,820 --> 00:41:05,800 [Latin Music] 328 00:41:05,800 --> 00:41:06,700 Hi. Hello. 329 00:41:06,700 --> 00:41:08,320 Stranger: Movie movie movie? 330 00:41:08,320 --> 00:41:09,480 Reese: Yeah. 331 00:41:13,300 --> 00:41:20,600 Holy shit, it's open. Okay. Mike don't fuck this up for me again, okay? Do you understand? 332 00:41:21,120 --> 00:41:26,340 I will fuck your dad. 333 00:41:28,180 --> 00:41:32,120 Will: Beautiful fucking tits, I'm Johnny Depp god damnit, just watch me d-- oh. 334 00:41:44,440 --> 00:41:47,540 [Mid-Eastern Music] 335 00:41:50,110 --> 00:41:55,310 [Foreign Language Voices] 336 00:42:03,700 --> 00:42:06,880 [Whirring noises] 337 00:42:15,260 --> 00:42:17,240 [Rumbling] 338 00:42:23,620 --> 00:42:25,900 [Loud cacaphony] 339 00:42:32,320 --> 00:42:33,200 [Explosion] 340 00:42:34,260 --> 00:42:35,020 [Gasps] 341 00:42:40,460 --> 00:42:42,940 [Grunting and howling noises] 342 00:42:44,240 --> 00:42:46,760 [Man barking] 343 00:42:47,680 --> 00:42:48,860 [Growling] 344 00:42:49,680 --> 00:42:52,400 [Love, Me Normally by Will Wood plays in slow motion] 345 00:42:52,620 --> 00:42:55,140 [Applause] 346 00:43:06,900 --> 00:43:08,560 [Rumbling] 347 00:43:30,300 --> 00:43:31,340 Will: Ahh. 348 00:43:31,840 --> 00:43:41,360 So it ends as it begins. I I know things haven't been perfect. 349 00:43:41,380 --> 00:43:53,740 Let's face it it's been weird. if anything I blame myself. For not keeping my spirit my mind present. So... 350 00:43:53,740 --> 00:43:57,080 I'm an open book. Go ahead. 351 00:43:57,080 --> 00:44:03,360 Ask me anything. Whatever you'd like to know. I'm all yours. 352 00:44:03,820 --> 00:44:05,720 Okay! 353 00:44:06,140 --> 00:44:07,980 Okay, good! Um... 354 00:44:13,680 --> 00:44:15,520 Will: What's up dude? 355 00:44:16,140 --> 00:44:18,020 Uh uhh I don't know know, I... 356 00:44:19,960 --> 00:44:22,820 [Alien noises and machinery] D-do you... 357 00:44:22,820 --> 00:44:24,700 Yeah? 358 00:44:25,420 --> 00:44:30,960 [Noises grow louder] 359 00:44:32,420 --> 00:44:34,500 [Audience boos] 360 00:44:35,920 --> 00:44:40,520 [Saxophone solo] 361 00:44:40,840 --> 00:44:42,260 [Children booing] 362 00:44:42,600 --> 00:44:43,500 Horseshit! 363 00:44:43,500 --> 00:44:44,280 [Party Horn] 364 00:44:44,280 --> 00:44:45,340 [SAXOPOOHONE SOILO] 365 00:44:54,040 --> 00:44:54,940 [Screech] 366 00:44:58,560 --> 00:44:59,800 [Screech] 367 00:45:16,360 --> 00:45:21,320 [The band plays "2012" by Will Wood] 368 00:49:08,840 --> 00:49:11,420 [Gasps] 369 00:49:12,340 --> 00:49:15,060 [Panting] 370 00:49:24,740 --> 00:49:28,740 B-b-buh buh-boxers or briefs? 371 00:49:29,020 --> 00:49:31,420 [Smack] What the fuck was that? 372 00:49:31,440 --> 00:49:34,440 I don't know! I just looked into that fucking eye on his forehead and all I can think about was 373 00:49:34,440 --> 00:49:36,080 like, face paint and saxophones. 374 00:49:38,080 --> 00:49:41,000 Um... have you... you ever kiss a girl? 375 00:49:41,000 --> 00:49:43,060 I've never fucking choked like that. 376 00:49:43,120 --> 00:49:44,880 I'm a fucking journalist goddamn it! 377 00:49:44,880 --> 00:49:47,360 Five and a half inches, average girth. 378 00:49:48,620 --> 00:49:50,780 uh what's what's average? 379 00:49:50,920 --> 00:49:54,839 He's psychic I know that sounds insane but it's like 380 00:49:54,839 --> 00:49:58,019 one second I am ready to expose the truth about this person and the next I'm 381 00:49:58,020 --> 00:50:00,060 a fucking mindless child! 382 00:50:07,080 --> 00:50:08,840 You know I'm not-- 383 00:50:09,400 --> 00:50:11,620 I just I just want to make something that people give a shit 384 00:50:11,620 --> 00:50:22,520 about you know like... I just like... like my... I feel like I have so much to say and 385 00:50:22,520 --> 00:50:26,700 [Stammering incoherently] 386 00:50:27,220 --> 00:50:30,180 [Reese blowing his nose] Oh, sorry. 387 00:50:30,860 --> 00:50:34,500 This isn't over! This isn't over you hear me you fucking 388 00:50:34,620 --> 00:50:40,100 snake? I'm coming for you. I'm going to find out exactly who the real Will Wood is. 389 00:50:40,840 --> 00:50:42,480 Reese: Who? 390 00:50:46,380 --> 00:50:50,780 Why do you think you slapped me? 391 00:50:58,040 --> 00:50:59,460 [Door slams] 392 00:51:00,540 --> 00:51:08,560 [Music] [Applause] 393 00:51:20,920 --> 00:51:24,360 [The band plays "Hand Me My [X] I'm [Y]! by Will Wood] 394 00:57:53,400 --> 00:57:55,560 Mike: are you sure you want us filming this? 395 00:57:55,560 --> 00:57:58,800 [Screaming] 396 00:57:59,200 --> 00:58:04,940 [Applause] 397 00:58:11,560 --> 00:58:15,120 Ladies and gentlmen, boys, girls, neithers, boths and in-betweens -- 398 00:58:15,120 --> 00:58:18,520 Christian: Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey bitch! 399 00:58:18,520 --> 00:58:20,700 [Audience members shouting] 400 00:58:20,700 --> 00:58:23,140 Christian: Don't think I don't know you. 401 00:58:23,140 --> 00:58:31,540 Don't think I don't know you, okay? Okay, you're a fucking snake! You're a snake! 402 00:58:31,880 --> 00:58:37,920 Oh look! I'm Will Wood! I'm gonna do a bunch of random shit and nobody's gonna get it, no one's gonna know what's going on. 403 00:58:38,040 --> 00:58:43,120 Oh, I guess that makes it art! [Sings a Will Wood song] Fuck you! 404 00:58:43,120 --> 00:58:46,160 [Audience jeers] 405 00:58:47,600 --> 00:58:51,400 Fuckin... what do you, what do you think you are? okay I've been doing, do-- don't you touch me! 406 00:58:51,440 --> 00:58:56,900 Don't you fuck-- you're a fucking nobody! You're a fucking you... you know your place! 407 00:58:56,980 --> 00:59:02,120 I have been doing this all by the book, okay? I have done everything the 408 00:59:02,120 --> 00:59:07,380 way I'm supposed to do it and you're just fucking - who is who is the real 409 00:59:07,380 --> 00:59:12,060 Will Wood, huh? Who are you? Who are you? 410 00:59:15,280 --> 00:59:19,060 Who the fuck are you? [Applause] 411 00:59:19,060 --> 00:59:28,580 [SELF-iSH by Will Wood plays] [Applause] 412 00:59:28,700 --> 00:59:30,380 Boo this motherfucker! 413 00:59:30,380 --> 00:59:32,340 [Audience boos] 414 00:59:32,500 --> 00:59:38,859 Get the fuck offstage! Get this motherfucker off the stage! Come on, get the fuck off of here! 415 00:59:38,860 --> 00:59:43,160 Jesus Christ. We tend to attract a certain type. 416 00:59:43,740 --> 00:59:46,760 [Audience chanting] Fuck that guy! Fuck that guy! Fuck that guy! 417 00:59:46,920 --> 00:59:51,300 Thank you for your patience. Thank you everybody. I don't know what that was 418 00:59:59,320 --> 01:00:06,320 [The band plays "Wasting Away Again in Bupropionville (a.k.a. Jimmy Mushroom's Last Drink)" by Will Wood] 419 01:02:36,480 --> 01:02:39,180 [Phone rings] 420 01:02:44,780 --> 01:02:47,860 Christian Dunning, documentarian... 421 01:02:48,560 --> 01:02:51,040 [Audience booing] 422 01:02:51,200 --> 01:02:54,960 Will: Get the fuck offstage! Get this motherfucker off stage! Come on! Get the fuck off of here! 423 01:02:54,960 --> 01:02:57,340 [Audience shouting and booing] 424 01:02:57,540 --> 01:02:58,880 Jesus Christ. 425 01:02:59,880 --> 01:03:01,560 Audience: fuck that guy! 426 01:03:01,560 --> 01:03:04,200 Will: We tend to attract a certain type. 427 01:03:04,340 --> 01:03:05,700 Thank you for your pa-- 428 01:03:11,640 --> 01:03:17,540 So... do we keep this? 429 01:03:18,460 --> 01:03:20,280 We're done. 430 01:03:20,380 --> 01:03:21,760 Mike: What? 431 01:03:22,900 --> 01:03:25,340 We're done. I'm done. 432 01:03:26,900 --> 01:03:30,180 Turn the camera off. I'm done. 433 01:03:38,740 --> 01:03:42,400 So do we keep going? 434 01:03:53,940 --> 01:03:54,820 Hey! 435 01:03:54,820 --> 01:03:55,540 Fan: Hi? 436 01:03:55,540 --> 01:03:57,040 Reese: Who's the real Will Wood? 437 01:03:57,040 --> 01:03:57,900 Fan: What? 438 01:03:57,900 --> 01:03:58,900 Oh who the f*** knows? 439 01:03:58,900 --> 01:04:00,440 Who's the real Will Wood, bitch? 440 01:04:00,540 --> 01:04:04,200 You have no f*cking idea, huh? Are you blind, is that why you're wearing that? 441 01:04:04,280 --> 01:04:05,520 What's your name? 442 01:04:06,020 --> 01:04:07,700 Yeah, it doesn't matter. 443 01:04:08,020 --> 01:04:10,620 Who's the real Will Wood? Mike Bottiglieri: No more questions I don't want any questions. 444 01:04:10,800 --> 01:04:15,100 Want to dump this loser and go on home tonight? What's your name again? 445 01:04:15,100 --> 01:04:16,320 Gabby. 446 01:04:16,320 --> 01:04:19,160 Abby! That's a nice name, that's my sister's name. 447 01:04:19,160 --> 01:04:28,240 He's an idea formed from the mind of God that just fell down to earth, rolled around in the mud, and is here tonight. 448 01:04:28,980 --> 01:04:32,320 [Holy music] 449 01:04:33,280 --> 01:04:34,080 No. 450 01:04:36,420 --> 01:04:37,460 [Unholy music] 451 01:04:39,080 --> 01:04:40,280 Who's the real Will Wood? 452 01:04:40,360 --> 01:04:41,360 I am. 453 01:04:41,480 --> 01:04:42,860 I'm the real Will Wood. 454 01:04:43,040 --> 01:04:44,880 I'm real Will Wood. 455 01:04:45,400 --> 01:04:46,480 [Nervous laughter] 456 01:04:49,380 --> 01:04:50,320 [Mocking laughter] 457 01:04:51,960 --> 01:04:54,000 Why are you doing this? 458 01:04:54,160 --> 01:04:56,200 Who's the real Will Wood? Jon: I'm very nervous right now. 459 01:04:56,200 --> 01:04:57,540 You don't know? 460 01:04:57,640 --> 01:04:59,060 My boyfriend's drug dealer. 461 01:04:59,260 --> 01:05:00,520 Someone I look up to very much. 462 01:05:00,720 --> 01:05:02,800 Lot of power in that handshake. 463 01:05:02,800 --> 01:05:05,000 Who is the real Will Wood? Mike Bottiglieri: You already asked me this, man. 464 01:05:05,000 --> 01:05:06,180 I don't know. 465 01:05:06,180 --> 01:05:06,960 That guy sucks. 466 01:05:07,020 --> 01:05:07,880 Who f*cking knows? 467 01:05:07,880 --> 01:05:09,100 The jersey devil. 468 01:05:09,100 --> 01:05:11,020 He is the reincarnation of our Lord and Savior. 469 01:05:11,400 --> 01:05:15,160 Uh... Jewish man, mid 20's... that's all I know! 470 01:05:15,860 --> 01:05:17,480 [Hava Nagila Plays] 471 01:05:17,480 --> 01:05:19,780 Do you ejaculate into a sandwich? 472 01:05:19,940 --> 01:05:22,140 That guys the pits man, I tell ya. 473 01:05:22,280 --> 01:05:25,360 but you know Wood plus Will, worms plus tape. 474 01:05:25,480 --> 01:05:27,600 What does real Wood-- what's his name? 475 01:05:27,600 --> 01:05:30,060 Half of my vocaublary is gone. 476 01:05:30,180 --> 01:05:34,180 An unfortunate continuance of a discombobulated creation. 477 01:05:34,920 --> 01:05:36,460 I don't know, I'm going to find out tonight though. 478 01:05:36,520 --> 01:05:37,880 Can I get a kiss? 479 01:05:37,900 --> 01:05:39,080 Absolutely not. 480 01:05:42,500 --> 01:05:44,040 Uh, I don't think it matters. 481 01:05:44,040 --> 01:05:45,180 No idea! 482 01:05:46,840 --> 01:05:51,720 Actually just an astral projection right now, but he's actually sitting at home among 27 different types of insence. 483 01:05:52,180 --> 01:05:53,460 Incest! 484 01:05:53,460 --> 01:05:55,460 Hey who's the real-- 485 01:05:56,020 --> 01:05:56,960 Okay. 486 01:05:57,180 --> 01:06:02,880 You can tell me anything, I'm on acid and I've been smoking weed and I'm drunk as f*** right now. 487 01:06:05,900 --> 01:06:07,360 I'm a birdbath. 488 01:06:08,480 --> 01:06:22,460 [Reese singing with The Tapeworms] 489 01:07:05,520 --> 01:07:10,220 [The band plays "Mr. Capgras" by Will Wood] 490 01:10:30,880 --> 01:10:37,460 [Applause] 491 01:10:39,060 --> 01:10:41,000 [TV Static] 492 01:10:45,360 --> 01:10:51,640 Hi, I'm Will Collins. The actor who plays Will Wood on stage and in this movie 493 01:10:51,640 --> 01:10:54,780 that you're watching. Obviously. My face has been all over it, I don't know why I 494 01:10:54,780 --> 01:10:57,920 bothered saying that. I'm Will Collins. Thing about the name Will Wood I didn't 495 01:10:57,920 --> 01:11:01,300 just pick it because it had like good stage name cadence or because like it's 496 01:11:01,400 --> 01:11:05,820 got that alliteration. The real reason I picked it is because it really, to me 497 01:11:05,820 --> 01:11:10,650 felt like a little bit of a play off the idea of "Will Wood would or Will Wood 498 01:11:10,650 --> 01:11:15,360 wouldn't Will would or Will wouldn't or what will Will Wood do what wouldn't he 499 01:11:15,360 --> 01:11:19,230 do, you know. Sort of like an assertion like "I will not do what you expect me to 500 01:11:19,230 --> 01:11:23,660 do, I'm not going to be who you think I should be. Cuz I do think that everybody 501 01:11:23,660 --> 01:11:27,480 has somewhat of a right to perceive how they're... or to control how they're perceived. 502 01:11:27,640 --> 01:11:30,179 Everybody's identity kind of becomes public domain when, when 503 01:11:30,179 --> 01:11:33,630 it's out there but at the end of the day, I have a right. And right now that's 504 01:11:33,630 --> 01:11:41,280 being taken from me. These people. These malicious scumbags are doing whatever 505 01:11:41,280 --> 01:11:44,760 they want. I don't approve of this film. I don't condone this film I don't like 506 01:11:44,760 --> 01:11:49,770 this film. I don't consent to this film. The way I'm being portrayed in this 507 01:11:49,770 --> 01:11:54,360 makes me look completely ridiculous and completely absurd and is not at all 508 01:11:54,360 --> 01:11:57,330 reflective of who I am as a person, or who I want to be as an artist. But the 509 01:11:57,330 --> 01:12:00,179 thing is apparently they can just do that they can make me look like a 510 01:12:00,179 --> 01:12:04,890 criminal at best or a... fucking malevolent trickster god, cuz apparently there's 511 01:12:04,890 --> 01:12:09,480 some section of parody law in entertainment law like parody law 512 01:12:09,480 --> 01:12:13,860 protects them. As long as they claim that it's a mockumentary as long as they say 513 01:12:13,860 --> 01:12:17,880 "Hey we're just joking" apparently they can do whatever they want. And I have no 514 01:12:17,880 --> 01:12:20,040 legal recourse, I have no personal recourse 515 01:12:20,040 --> 01:12:24,090 I'm completely... this is out of my hands and so I'm what I'm saying is; this is 516 01:12:24,090 --> 01:12:29,370 all I can do: is say to you people if you're watching this, please for the love 517 01:12:29,370 --> 01:12:34,000 of God turn it off. Please. If-- 518 01:12:35,280 --> 01:12:37,900 Good evening. I'm William Casparian. 519 01:12:38,040 --> 01:12:40,860 Multimedia pop artist and actor portraying "Will Collins" in the film you 520 01:12:40,860 --> 01:12:43,720 are currently watching. Addressing the audience directly 521 01:12:43,720 --> 01:12:46,990 in the context of dramatic production as I'm doing now by speaking to the camera 522 01:12:46,990 --> 01:12:49,480 is referred to as breaking the fourth wall. 523 01:12:49,480 --> 01:12:53,770 This practice gets its namesake from its roots in live theatre, where the action 524 01:12:53,770 --> 01:12:56,680 in a play is performed as though there is an imaginary wall separating the 525 01:12:56,680 --> 01:12:58,750 audience for the events unfolding before them. 526 01:12:58,750 --> 01:13:02,830 This fourth wall is usually assumed in the suspension of disbelief, and when it's 527 01:13:02,830 --> 01:13:06,700 denied and the convention is subverted, it's usually used to provide a humorous 528 01:13:06,700 --> 01:13:10,380 interjection to the story they're watching, or to give a closer look inside the 529 01:13:10,380 --> 01:13:12,980 minds of the characters. Most notably in the --- 530 01:13:13,100 --> 01:13:17,740 I'm William Cardigan. Writer, actor, performer, and most notably creator of the "Will Collins," "Will Wood," 531 01:13:17,740 --> 01:13:21,580 and "William Casparian" characters. What I'm doing right now is using 532 01:13:21,580 --> 01:13:25,240 a fourth wall breakage to inform the audience of the fourth wall's existence. 533 01:13:25,640 --> 01:13:33,800 My intention with this is to provide a provocative subversion of what has at this point become nothing more than pseudo-intellectual fodder and essentially a trope used to 534 01:13:33,800 --> 01:13:36,180 to parade about the auteur's presumed creativity and intellect like a 535 01:13:36,180 --> 01:13:38,320 pair of big, swinging testicles. 536 01:13:38,320 --> 01:13:43,140 I'm Willard Cabernacle. Hi. Just so we're clear the quality of art isn't somehow miraculously improved when it 537 01:13:43,150 --> 01:13:47,980 acknowledges its own flaws. Okay? Alright? Okay? Cool. Okay. So just pointing out your 538 01:13:47,980 --> 01:13:51,310 own flaws and being aware of them doesn't somehow erase them -- if anything 539 01:13:51,310 --> 01:13:56,620 it only proves a lack of confidence of the part of the artist. If an artist makes a poor artistic decision and does so with conviction 540 01:13:56,700 --> 01:13:59,640 sure the efficacy of his testicles may be called question. But their size, their weight, 541 01:13:59,640 --> 01:14:07,460 their momentum, will not. Okay? Thank you. You learned. 542 01:14:07,460 --> 01:14:13,060 Alright so let's say random example, okay? Random fucking example. You try to write a bad movie on purpose. 543 01:14:13,060 --> 01:14:17,240 Guess what dude? All you did at the end of the day is just make another shitty fucking movie. 544 01:14:17,240 --> 01:14:20,400 like wow okay all you're saying is "fuck you dude, I meant to waste your god damn time" 545 01:14:20,440 --> 01:14:23,800 Fuck you, man. Wow congratulations! You're a goddamn genius with self-referential 546 01:14:23,800 --> 01:14:27,600 shit. Well you know what, man? Fuck you you're not that original, alright? Miss me with that gay shit. 547 01:14:27,760 --> 01:14:31,360 I'm Wes Craven, pansexual. In Joseph Campbell's "Hero with a Thousand 548 01:14:31,360 --> 01:14:35,470 Faces," Campbell posits that all stories are, at their core, the same. I bring this 549 01:14:35,470 --> 01:14:39,740 up to say that originality itself is an outdated concept. There are no new ideas 550 01:14:39,840 --> 01:14:44,240 knowing this we can either abandon art entirely or acknowledge its future lies in self-reference. 551 01:14:44,560 --> 01:14:48,000 Salutations ladies and gentlemen, I'm Wax Cassidy, owner, 552 01:14:48,010 --> 01:14:51,760 proprietor, and CEO of Will Wood and the Tapeworms limited incorporated LLC, and if you want 553 01:14:51,760 --> 01:14:54,880 me to be able to continue to make art, then go ahead and fish that [slurs words] 554 01:14:54,880 --> 01:14:57,969 checkbook out of your daddy's bottom drawer and send it to blank to 555 01:14:57,969 --> 01:15:02,640 Will Wood and the Tapeworms dot bigcartel dot com! That's right, and if you're a real fan and not some parasitic fucking layabout, 556 01:15:02,640 --> 01:15:07,080 Then what you'll do is purchase one of our fine products from our line of Will Wood and the Tapeworms merchandise. 557 01:15:07,200 --> 01:15:13,620 We've got hats, we've got T-Shirts, we got CD's, we got laptop cases, we got those little buttons you can put on the back of your iphone so you look like an asshole when you take a selfie. 558 01:15:13,620 --> 01:15:17,000 That is right folks, and maybe, just maybe if you spend enough money... 559 01:15:17,000 --> 01:15:17,920 maybe if you spend enough money 560 01:15:18,060 --> 01:15:20,560 Next time one of you greasy little rat-fucks comes up to me at a concert 561 01:15:20,560 --> 01:15:22,700 I won't have to pretend to remember your fucking face. 562 01:15:22,700 --> 01:15:26,180 Art is dead and its blood runs cold over the capitalist's knife! 563 01:15:26,500 --> 01:15:29,840 Yeehaw! Art is capitalism, grow the fuck up! 564 01:15:30,220 --> 01:15:31,760 [Gunfire] 565 01:15:32,620 --> 01:15:34,300 [Calliope music] 566 01:15:34,440 --> 01:15:43,200 Uhhh greetings and salutations, ladies and gentlemen, boys, girls, neithers, boths, and in-betweens. I'm Will Wood, imaginary person. 567 01:15:43,480 --> 01:15:47,800 We are now trapped within a recursive loop of perpetual self-reference, thus 568 01:15:47,840 --> 01:15:50,620 proving post-modernism is fucking stupid. 569 01:15:50,680 --> 01:15:52,540 [Voices shouting over each other] 570 01:15:52,540 --> 01:15:54,340 [Utter chaos] 571 01:15:56,500 --> 01:15:58,960 [Saxophone solo] 572 01:15:59,560 --> 01:16:00,920 Will Wood: I don't get it. 573 01:16:00,920 --> 01:16:03,060 [Party Horn, Explosion, Screaming, ???] 574 01:16:03,780 --> 01:16:05,800 Hey, I'm Quetzalcoatl. 575 01:16:05,960 --> 01:16:07,620 immigration! [Blows raspberry] 576 01:16:08,180 --> 01:16:09,660 Give me your hearts! 577 01:16:10,740 --> 01:16:12,280 Wait, what was that first line again? 578 01:16:14,580 --> 01:16:16,540 Eh? 579 01:16:17,740 --> 01:16:18,340 Eh! 580 01:16:19,000 --> 01:16:19,960 Eh? 581 01:16:20,720 --> 01:16:21,580 Ehh... 582 01:16:21,860 --> 01:16:24,860 Ehhh? 583 01:16:25,200 --> 01:16:26,880 Ayyyy! 584 01:16:27,240 --> 01:16:28,360 Oh! Oh! 585 01:16:28,360 --> 01:16:29,660 Ooh! Ooh! 586 01:16:30,040 --> 01:16:33,440 Oooooooh! 587 01:16:33,440 --> 01:16:38,940 Oh! Ah! Woah! [Laughing hysterically] Yeah! 588 01:16:39,220 --> 01:16:42,580 Hmm. Hmm. Hmm. Mhm. 589 01:16:42,840 --> 01:16:43,860 Eh. 590 01:16:43,940 --> 01:16:44,440 Eh! 591 01:16:44,480 --> 01:16:44,980 Eh? 592 01:16:45,240 --> 01:16:45,740 Eh! 593 01:16:45,880 --> 01:16:46,380 Eh?? 594 01:16:46,760 --> 01:16:47,260 Eh?! 595 01:16:48,280 --> 01:16:57,940 Ehhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh 596 01:16:59,900 --> 01:17:00,960 Scene. 597 01:17:01,540 --> 01:17:06,300 [Music] 598 01:18:04,940 --> 01:18:09,200 [The band plays "Chemical Overreaction/Compound Fracture" by Will Wood] 599 01:20:04,480 --> 01:20:11,400 When we drop this shit, I wanna see you at each others' throats man, make some fuckin' noise. 1 2 3 600 01:20:11,520 --> 01:20:14,600 [Applause] 601 01:21:42,240 --> 01:21:47,620 [Will plays "Skeleton Appreciation Day in Vestal, NY] 602 01:23:40,480 --> 01:23:45,300 [The band plays "Skeleton Appreciation Day in Vestal, NY" by Will Wood] 603 01:25:56,280 --> 01:26:02,840 [Applause] 604 01:26:19,140 --> 01:26:23,760 [Will plays "-iSH"] 605 01:28:06,400 --> 01:28:11,600 [Applause] 606 01:28:54,340 --> 01:28:57,580 Howdy! 607 01:28:58,220 --> 01:29:04,460 I'm Christian Dunning and uh I'm a tree farmer 608 01:29:06,100 --> 01:29:08,700 [Inspiring music] 609 01:29:09,240 --> 01:29:12,820 Well you know, it's the Christmas season. Gets pretty busy around here this time 610 01:29:12,820 --> 01:29:17,380 of year. It's a good time to make a little bit of extra cash. Keep busy. it's 611 01:29:17,480 --> 01:29:21,880 It's pretty peaceful the rest of the year but, you know, it can surprise you sometimes 612 01:29:22,540 --> 01:29:26,860 besides there's something kind of magical about knowing that these kids are gonna be 613 01:29:26,860 --> 01:29:33,100 opening up their gift from Santa under one of my trees. You know? 614 01:29:33,160 --> 01:29:37,480 Now Blue Spruce has a good look to it but it's hardly your classic Christmas tree. 615 01:29:37,480 --> 01:29:42,340 Needles are gonna be a little bit prickly on this one. Eastern hemlock: it's uh, it's gonna be a 616 01:29:42,350 --> 01:29:46,190 bit sparse. Not a lot of room for ornaments but it's a sturdy tree. 617 01:29:46,190 --> 01:29:49,460 Take a look at those cones. Hearty lookin' cones aren't they? 618 01:29:49,460 --> 01:29:52,920 [Mispronounced] Tsuga Canadensis. 619 01:29:53,420 --> 01:29:55,140 Now you want to make sure not to cut these down too 620 01:29:55,140 --> 01:29:58,520 early or else you're gonna lose your needles. A good trick is ya, just take a little 621 01:29:58,520 --> 01:30:00,520 bit off here, you know? Rub them together... 622 01:30:00,520 --> 01:30:02,280 [Inhales deeply] 623 01:30:02,280 --> 01:30:05,360 Yeah. Smells like Christmas. 624 01:30:05,440 --> 01:30:08,900 How you know you got the right one. 625 01:30:16,920 --> 01:30:26,400 You know, you just think, I uh... I wouldn't have found any of this peace if uh... Mike hadn't 626 01:30:27,080 --> 01:30:30,180 single-handedly ruined by film career. 627 01:30:33,140 --> 01:30:34,680 Who wants cocoa?