1
00:00:00,601 --> 00:00:03,071
(gentle music)

2
00:00:02,000 --> 00:00:07,000
Downloaded from
YTS.MX

3
00:00:08,000 --> 00:00:13,000
Official YIFY movies site:
YTS.MX

4
00:00:08,809 --> 00:00:11,145
(whistling)

5
00:01:18,512 --> 00:01:20,814
- Michael, Michael is that you?

6
00:01:20,814 --> 00:01:21,882
- Nope, no, no, no.

7
00:01:21,882 --> 00:01:23,651
- Michael, seriously?

8
00:01:26,120 --> 00:01:29,523
- Hey, how's it going,
nice to see you,

9
00:01:29,523 --> 00:01:30,724
nice to see you, Merry
Christmas, how are you?

10
00:01:30,724 --> 00:01:33,026
We're gonna do some
painting, some wrapping,

11
00:01:33,026 --> 00:01:34,495
nice to see you sir.

12
00:01:34,495 --> 00:01:37,198
And, yeah, we're gonna just,
what's the matter Gabby?

13
00:01:41,101 --> 00:01:43,371
Since when in your entire
six years of existence

14
00:01:43,371 --> 00:01:44,938
have you not wanted to talk?

15
00:01:47,408 --> 00:01:49,910
- Bobby said Santa isn't real.

16
00:01:52,180 --> 00:01:56,049
- Bobby, why would you say that?

17
00:01:57,251 --> 00:01:59,153
- Well, Mike Morris
said that he saw Santa

18
00:01:59,153 --> 00:02:00,754
smoking a cigarette in
his car by the mall.

19
00:02:00,754 --> 00:02:03,891
- Mike, Mike Morris.

20
00:02:03,891 --> 00:02:05,926
You guys are listening
to Mike Morris?

21
00:02:05,926 --> 00:02:07,328
He doesn't know what
he's talking about.

22
00:02:07,328 --> 00:02:08,796
But I'll tell you what,

23
00:02:08,796 --> 00:02:12,466
he probably did see a Santa
smoking a cigarette in his car.

24
00:02:12,466 --> 00:02:13,901
- See, I told you so.

25
00:02:13,901 --> 00:02:16,036
- But, that's 'cause
that's not the real Santa.

26
00:02:17,605 --> 00:02:19,907
- Not the real Santa?

27
00:02:19,907 --> 00:02:22,176
- Yeah, that was one
of his backup Santas.

28
00:02:22,176 --> 00:02:23,544
- Back up Santas?

29
00:02:23,544 --> 00:02:25,446
- Yeah, they're
like his helpers.

30
00:02:25,446 --> 00:02:29,817
They're not like elves but
they're like backup Santas.

31
00:02:29,817 --> 00:02:32,386
You guys think the real Santa
could just go to the mall?

32
00:02:32,386 --> 00:02:34,555
That guy is super famous,
people would freak out

33
00:02:34,555 --> 00:02:36,390
and then how would he
get all that work done?

34
00:02:36,390 --> 00:02:37,625
- [Bobby] You're
just saying that.

35
00:02:37,625 --> 00:02:39,893
- I am not, that is the truth.

36
00:02:39,893 --> 00:02:40,994
- How do you know?

37
00:02:42,129 --> 00:02:44,031
- How do I know,
because I know him.

38
00:02:44,031 --> 00:02:45,599
- You know Santa?

39
00:02:46,667 --> 00:02:49,203
- No, I mean, it wasn't me.

40
00:02:49,203 --> 00:02:51,439
It was a guy I know that
met a guy that knows him

41
00:02:51,439 --> 00:02:53,241
kind of, so I kind of know him.

42
00:02:53,241 --> 00:02:56,109
- How did he get to
meet the real Santa?

43
00:02:56,109 --> 00:02:58,946
- Well, it's actually
a funny story,

44
00:02:58,946 --> 00:03:00,381
but we don't really have time,

45
00:03:00,381 --> 00:03:01,048
we're supposed to be
doing this wrapping thing.

46
00:03:01,048 --> 00:03:01,882
- Please.

47
00:03:01,882 --> 00:03:03,884
- [All] Please.

48
00:03:03,884 --> 00:03:05,085
- Okay, okay,
okay, I'll tell you

49
00:03:05,085 --> 00:03:07,455
but you have to
promise me one thing,

50
00:03:07,455 --> 00:03:09,357
you can't tell anybody.

51
00:03:09,357 --> 00:03:10,791
- We promise.
- I promise.

52
00:03:10,791 --> 00:03:13,026
- Okay, once upon a
time there was this guy

53
00:03:13,026 --> 00:03:15,896
and he was like, he was a
doctor and he was super awesome,

54
00:03:15,896 --> 00:03:17,365
everybody in town loved him.

55
00:03:17,365 --> 00:03:20,534
He might've been a little
bit, what's the word,

56
00:03:21,669 --> 00:03:22,970
self-absorbed no, no.

57
00:03:22,970 --> 00:03:24,472
He was like busy, he
was like a busy beaver.

58
00:03:24,472 --> 00:03:26,039
It's like always around
like doing something.

59
00:03:26,039 --> 00:03:28,742
I don't know, he was just
focusing on the wrong stuff.

60
00:03:31,211 --> 00:03:33,714
- Hey Michael, let me
ask you a question.

61
00:03:33,714 --> 00:03:35,816
You were a bathrobe?

62
00:03:35,816 --> 00:03:39,152
- Hey Bob, I don't.

63
00:03:39,152 --> 00:03:41,088
Sorry, I gotta go.

64
00:03:41,088 --> 00:03:42,323
- Well look, the
reason I'm asking

65
00:03:42,323 --> 00:03:43,824
is I gotta get another one,

66
00:03:43,824 --> 00:03:46,660
this one's full of holes and
stains, I can't wear this.

67
00:03:49,697 --> 00:03:51,231
- I don't know Bob, try Amazon.

68
00:03:52,366 --> 00:03:54,368
- Yeah, Amazon,
that's a good idea.

69
00:03:54,368 --> 00:03:56,103
I guess this is why
you make the big bucks

70
00:03:56,103 --> 00:03:58,806
and I'm standing around
this raggedy bathrobe,

71
00:03:58,806 --> 00:04:00,508
freezing my buns off.

72
00:04:00,508 --> 00:04:03,176
Speaking of buns,
you know my son

73
00:04:03,176 --> 00:04:04,512
he's always thinking about--

74
00:04:04,512 --> 00:04:05,979
- Gotta go, thanks

75
00:04:05,979 --> 00:04:08,682
(indistinct)

76
00:04:08,682 --> 00:04:10,618
- A nice donut,
speaking of buns.

77
00:04:11,985 --> 00:04:13,253
Not bad either.

78
00:04:16,357 --> 00:04:17,458
- You can't park here.

79
00:04:18,626 --> 00:04:20,127
You can't park here,
this is a private lot.

80
00:04:20,127 --> 00:04:22,996
I don't know, he wasn't
always the nicest guy.

81
00:04:25,466 --> 00:04:27,501
This is for my patients.

82
00:04:27,501 --> 00:04:29,503
You can't get parking here, so.

83
00:04:32,973 --> 00:04:35,309
Communication is
a difficult thing,

84
00:04:35,309 --> 00:04:36,677
even when you use words.

85
00:04:38,612 --> 00:04:41,782
(heartbeat throbbing)

86
00:04:46,354 --> 00:04:48,389
- I don't even think
it's a real problem.

87
00:04:48,389 --> 00:04:51,459
What, just because a
judge says I get angry

88
00:04:51,459 --> 00:04:52,292
a little too much.

89
00:04:52,292 --> 00:04:54,895
I mean, please come on.

90
00:04:54,895 --> 00:04:56,630
What, now I gotta
go see a therapist

91
00:04:56,630 --> 00:04:58,165
for the rest of my life.

92
00:04:59,533 --> 00:05:01,969
- Look, it's just
temporary, right?

93
00:05:01,969 --> 00:05:04,171
This is pending
an evaluation, so.

94
00:05:04,171 --> 00:05:05,373
- He didn't tell
me that the nurse

95
00:05:05,373 --> 00:05:06,340
was gonna put the needle in.

96
00:05:06,340 --> 00:05:08,241
You gotta warn a guy, right?

97
00:05:08,241 --> 00:05:09,710
I mean, she didn't do that.

98
00:05:10,878 --> 00:05:13,080
- Big guys have feelings too.

99
00:05:13,080 --> 00:05:15,516
I was hanging out with
Ving Rhames the other day.

100
00:05:15,516 --> 00:05:17,951
He's not sensitive
about his size at all.

101
00:05:17,951 --> 00:05:19,420
I just don't get it.

102
00:05:19,420 --> 00:05:21,188
- Are you feeling like
you can't express yourself

103
00:05:21,188 --> 00:05:22,756
because of your size?

104
00:05:22,756 --> 00:05:24,358
- I could be in
a situation where

105
00:05:24,358 --> 00:05:26,760
someone's struggling
to lift something up

106
00:05:26,760 --> 00:05:28,529
and I don't even have
to know the person

107
00:05:28,529 --> 00:05:30,297
and they are looking at me like

108
00:05:30,297 --> 00:05:33,967
why aren't you helping me
with this refrigerator?

109
00:05:33,967 --> 00:05:35,135
- I think one of the reasons

110
00:05:35,135 --> 00:05:36,970
why you may be
feeling frustrated.

111
00:05:36,970 --> 00:05:39,707
(buzzer beeping)

112
00:05:40,808 --> 00:05:42,242
- Wrong answer.

113
00:05:42,242 --> 00:05:44,578
- So you know, I don't
hate you, I hate the judge.

114
00:05:44,578 --> 00:05:47,481
- Okay, why don't we
just circle back in,

115
00:05:47,481 --> 00:05:49,983
I think we've gone off
the rails a little bit.

116
00:05:49,983 --> 00:05:52,085
I have to be honest, Michael.

117
00:05:53,821 --> 00:05:55,689
You know we've been doing
this for a while now

118
00:05:55,689 --> 00:05:56,557
and I think--

119
00:05:59,460 --> 00:06:02,062
(gun firing)

120
00:06:02,062 --> 00:06:05,132
One of the main problems
is this behavior.

121
00:06:05,132 --> 00:06:08,201
(car engine revving)

122
00:06:09,470 --> 00:06:12,039
(car crashing)

123
00:06:13,306 --> 00:06:15,543
- It just gets me upset.

124
00:06:15,543 --> 00:06:17,445
I mean, he doesn't know me.

125
00:06:17,445 --> 00:06:18,646
I'm a really nice guy.

126
00:06:18,646 --> 00:06:20,147
- I don't know.

127
00:06:20,147 --> 00:06:23,817
The judge just think that
maybe therapy will help.

128
00:06:23,817 --> 00:06:25,886
- Help, if he
thought I needed help

129
00:06:25,886 --> 00:06:27,955
why did he send me to therapy?

130
00:06:27,955 --> 00:06:29,790
- How tall are
you, man, stand up.

131
00:06:31,224 --> 00:06:32,359
- I prefer not to.

132
00:06:32,359 --> 00:06:34,261
- You tell me to express myself,

133
00:06:34,261 --> 00:06:36,329
you started this.

134
00:06:36,329 --> 00:06:38,599
- You know what, time's up.

135
00:06:38,599 --> 00:06:40,668
We'll pick this up,
you know, next time.

136
00:06:40,668 --> 00:06:42,135
And now you all out of time,

137
00:06:42,135 --> 00:06:43,403
now you're in a hurry?

138
00:06:43,403 --> 00:06:45,506
See, that's something
you little dudes say.

139
00:06:47,074 --> 00:06:50,511
I will find out how tall
you are, believe me.

140
00:06:56,817 --> 00:06:59,252
- But I'm trying
to help you, okay.

141
00:07:00,353 --> 00:07:01,555
I mean, do you realize
I've only heard

142
00:07:01,555 --> 00:07:04,124
your real voice maybe
twice, maybe once?

143
00:07:04,124 --> 00:07:05,659
(dogs snarling)

144
00:07:05,659 --> 00:07:08,496
I mean, don't you think that
there may be a problem here?

145
00:07:09,429 --> 00:07:11,932
(dog barking)

146
00:07:16,269 --> 00:07:18,438
- He doesn't sound that awesome.

147
00:07:18,438 --> 00:07:20,541
- Well, he was that awesome.

148
00:07:20,541 --> 00:07:22,042
- I don't like him either.

149
00:07:22,042 --> 00:07:23,410
- Why don't you like him,
you don't even know him.

150
00:07:23,410 --> 00:07:26,079
Will you just give
him a chance, gosh.

151
00:07:26,079 --> 00:07:28,649
I mean, he even had
his own secretary.

152
00:07:28,649 --> 00:07:29,917
I mean, it might've
been his aunt,

153
00:07:29,917 --> 00:07:31,785
but it's still cool
he had a secretary.

154
00:07:33,120 --> 00:07:35,889
- Wait, isn't your aunt
your secretary too?

155
00:07:37,390 --> 00:07:41,895
- Yes, a lot of doctors
have aunts as secretaries.

156
00:07:41,895 --> 00:07:43,230
That's like a thing, all
right, you know what,

157
00:07:43,230 --> 00:07:44,464
no more questions.

158
00:07:44,464 --> 00:07:46,667
All right, the story is
just getting started.

159
00:07:46,667 --> 00:07:47,501
- Okay.

160
00:07:47,501 --> 00:07:48,669
- Life was great,

161
00:07:48,669 --> 00:07:50,237
he thought he had
everything figured out.

162
00:07:50,237 --> 00:07:51,739
Everything was good

163
00:07:51,739 --> 00:07:55,543
and then the reality was
he was missing something,

164
00:07:56,577 --> 00:07:57,678
something big.

165
00:07:58,579 --> 00:08:00,047
- So I said to her,

166
00:08:00,047 --> 00:08:01,582
just don't get involved
in every detail

167
00:08:01,582 --> 00:08:03,584
and then you won't get
aggravated about everything.

168
00:08:03,584 --> 00:08:05,218
You know, just ask for.

169
00:08:06,119 --> 00:08:08,221
Oh, Michael, Michael, hold on,

170
00:08:08,221 --> 00:08:10,190
I need you to sign right here.

171
00:08:10,190 --> 00:08:12,292
- Right, what am I signing?

172
00:08:12,292 --> 00:08:14,762
- You're giving me
a raise, hurray.

173
00:08:14,762 --> 00:08:16,063
Family bonus.

174
00:08:16,063 --> 00:08:18,265
- All right, yes,
great, just take it.

175
00:08:18,265 --> 00:08:21,301
Hey and Janine, can we
take this down, please?

176
00:08:21,301 --> 00:08:22,803
- Michael, it's Christmas.

177
00:08:22,803 --> 00:08:26,907
- Yeah, but this is just a lot
and it's not Christmas yet.

178
00:08:26,907 --> 00:08:28,308
- Yeah, it's Christmas, okay?

179
00:08:28,308 --> 00:08:29,242
It's a season.

180
00:08:29,242 --> 00:08:30,778
- Right, but this is my office

181
00:08:30,778 --> 00:08:33,513
and I think that this just
looks a little unprofessional.

182
00:08:33,513 --> 00:08:36,183
Like this is moving, the
head is going back and forth.

183
00:08:36,183 --> 00:08:38,786
- Michael look, I know
you don't like Christmas.

184
00:08:38,786 --> 00:08:43,156
Everyone else in the world
loves Christmas except for you.

185
00:08:43,156 --> 00:08:45,859
Okay, and it makes them
feel more comfortable.

186
00:08:45,859 --> 00:08:48,261
- I don't dislike Christmas.

187
00:08:48,261 --> 00:08:49,296
This is ridiculous.

188
00:08:50,163 --> 00:08:51,398
- Okay, fine, fine.

189
00:08:51,398 --> 00:08:53,601
I'll consider taking
some of the stuff down

190
00:08:53,601 --> 00:08:55,335
but I'm not taking
all of it down.

191
00:08:58,438 --> 00:09:00,473
I got you the best
gift to give to Sasha.

192
00:09:00,473 --> 00:09:02,810
- Oh God, thank you so much.

193
00:09:02,810 --> 00:09:04,544
What's the occasion?

194
00:09:04,544 --> 00:09:07,347
- She's your wife,
that's the occasion.

195
00:09:07,347 --> 00:09:09,082
- Ah, yes, thank you.

196
00:09:10,651 --> 00:09:12,152
- Oh, Michael, one more thing.

197
00:09:15,322 --> 00:09:16,890
When are you gonna have a baby?

198
00:09:18,826 --> 00:09:20,293
- Don't meddle Janine.

199
00:09:20,293 --> 00:09:22,162
- Okay, but Michael, you
keep avoiding the question.

200
00:09:22,162 --> 00:09:25,565
And let me tell you, that
thing's not gonna work forever.

201
00:09:25,565 --> 00:09:28,769
See how you like being
old with no kids.

202
00:09:28,769 --> 00:09:31,639
- And, I saved
the best for last.

203
00:09:31,639 --> 00:09:32,472
- Santa?

204
00:09:34,174 --> 00:09:35,976
- No, not yet.

205
00:09:35,976 --> 00:09:38,278
But he was married
to the bestest girl

206
00:09:38,278 --> 00:09:39,880
in the whole wide world,

207
00:09:39,880 --> 00:09:42,549
and she was a teacher
and everybody loved her.

208
00:09:42,549 --> 00:09:44,251
- We just spelled it.

209
00:09:44,251 --> 00:09:45,185
- Okay, yeah, so we did.

210
00:09:45,185 --> 00:09:46,119
We learned it this morning,

211
00:09:46,119 --> 00:09:47,454
let's see if we remember.

212
00:09:47,454 --> 00:09:49,723
Caterpillar, what's the
first thing you hear?

213
00:09:49,723 --> 00:09:50,958
- Cat.
- Cat.

214
00:09:50,958 --> 00:09:52,459
- Right, okay, so we
know how to spell cat,

215
00:09:52,459 --> 00:09:54,427
right, perfect.

216
00:09:54,427 --> 00:09:57,197
Then cat-e-r.

217
00:09:57,197 --> 00:09:58,431
- What's going on here?

218
00:09:58,431 --> 00:10:00,600
We have Christmas
all along the left,

219
00:10:00,600 --> 00:10:02,736
no Christmas over here.

220
00:10:02,736 --> 00:10:04,471
- [Michael] And the
principal of the school.

221
00:10:04,471 --> 00:10:07,540
Well, he also like liked Sasha.

222
00:10:08,742 --> 00:10:13,446
- And then R, like
a pirate, exactly.

223
00:10:13,446 --> 00:10:15,783
Okay, so that my little friends

224
00:10:15,783 --> 00:10:17,685
is how you spell Caterpillar.

225
00:10:17,685 --> 00:10:19,452
Cat, like a cat.

226
00:10:19,452 --> 00:10:24,024
- [Michael] And he
was really tough.

227
00:10:24,024 --> 00:10:25,693
- Hey, you, come over.

228
00:10:28,796 --> 00:10:30,330
Not that close, back up.

229
00:10:32,432 --> 00:10:33,533
What's your name?

230
00:10:33,533 --> 00:10:34,367
- Angus.

231
00:10:36,336 --> 00:10:38,338
- What's going on, Angus?

232
00:10:38,338 --> 00:10:40,073
- I only have all my posters

233
00:10:40,073 --> 00:10:42,442
for the annual
school supply drive.

234
00:10:42,442 --> 00:10:44,611
We do this every
year, as you can see.

235
00:10:44,611 --> 00:10:46,714
- Okay, that's
enough, that's enough.

236
00:10:47,915 --> 00:10:49,950
That's great you
have your flyer,

237
00:10:49,950 --> 00:10:54,421
really good use of the computer
and your printing skills.

238
00:10:54,421 --> 00:10:55,789
It's very, very good.

239
00:10:55,789 --> 00:10:58,425
However, I'm looking
at the wall here.

240
00:10:58,425 --> 00:11:03,330
And what I'm noticing
is that there is no sign

241
00:11:03,330 --> 00:11:07,000
saying that this is a
designated flyer zone.

242
00:11:08,235 --> 00:11:10,237
- No, except I also
don't see a sign

243
00:11:10,237 --> 00:11:12,039
saying that it is not.

244
00:11:12,039 --> 00:11:15,175
- Right, but in order
to put up flyers

245
00:11:15,175 --> 00:11:18,445
it has to be in a
designated flyer zone,

246
00:11:18,445 --> 00:11:20,513
and there's
unfortunately for you

247
00:11:20,513 --> 00:11:23,717
no sign that says this is
a designated flyer zone.

248
00:11:23,717 --> 00:11:28,255
So why would you put up a
flyer in a non flyer zone?

249
00:11:28,255 --> 00:11:30,223
Now, Angus ask me a question.

250
00:11:30,223 --> 00:11:34,027
Would you eat a cheeseburger
in a hot dog zone?

251
00:11:34,027 --> 00:11:35,428
- No.

252
00:11:35,428 --> 00:11:39,332
- Would you eat a burrito
in a no taco zone?

253
00:11:40,700 --> 00:11:41,501
- Maybe.

254
00:11:42,870 --> 00:11:44,404
- You should eat a
burrito in no a taco zone,

255
00:11:44,404 --> 00:11:47,775
that was a trick question
which you failed, okay.

256
00:11:47,775 --> 00:11:49,309
But a burrito is not a taco,

257
00:11:49,309 --> 00:11:52,279
so if it's a no taco zone,
you can eat a burrito there.

258
00:11:52,279 --> 00:11:57,050
- Well, a burrito is the same
thing as the taco, except.

259
00:11:57,050 --> 00:11:59,386
Okay so this is a taco,
it curves like this,

260
00:11:59,386 --> 00:12:01,855
and then this is a burrito,
you fold it around.

261
00:12:01,855 --> 00:12:05,859
- I like your energy on this
topic, but you're wrong.

262
00:12:06,994 --> 00:12:11,598
And the point is I just
see a violation here

263
00:12:11,598 --> 00:12:14,802
and I don't know why this
sign is tilted, I don't know--

264
00:12:15,869 --> 00:12:18,271
- Artistic liberties
Mr. Johnson.

265
00:12:18,271 --> 00:12:20,073
- Principal.

266
00:12:20,073 --> 00:12:22,442
- No Principal Mr. Johnson.

267
00:12:22,442 --> 00:12:23,276
- Thank you.

268
00:12:26,646 --> 00:12:28,381
Yeah, you got a
lot of flyers here.

269
00:12:29,482 --> 00:12:33,787
Angus, what's your
least favorite subject?

270
00:12:33,787 --> 00:12:34,621
- [Angus] Math.

271
00:12:42,462 --> 00:12:43,763
- Attention to everyone,

272
00:12:43,763 --> 00:12:47,067
this is Principal Mr. Johnson.

273
00:12:47,067 --> 00:12:50,103
We are extending
school hours today,

274
00:12:50,103 --> 00:12:55,075
an extra 45 minutes of
math class for everyone.

275
00:12:56,543 --> 00:12:59,312
Even though you've already
taken math earlier today

276
00:12:59,312 --> 00:13:00,647
you're doing it again.

277
00:13:00,647 --> 00:13:04,852
Any complaints, talk to
your favorite classmate

278
00:13:04,852 --> 00:13:08,288
and bake sale enthusiast, Angus.

279
00:13:11,791 --> 00:13:13,060
Let's take these down.

280
00:13:13,060 --> 00:13:14,294
- [Michael] You see,
this super cool guy

281
00:13:14,294 --> 00:13:16,529
didn't realize just how
perfect his wife was,

282
00:13:16,529 --> 00:13:19,632
so they did what many
mommies and daddies do.

283
00:13:19,632 --> 00:13:21,201
- Have a baby?

284
00:13:21,201 --> 00:13:22,970
- [Michael] See a
marriage counselor.

285
00:13:26,006 --> 00:13:28,175
- We're leaving in 20 minutes.

286
00:13:28,175 --> 00:13:29,242
- Ow.

287
00:13:29,242 --> 00:13:30,543
- You forgot, oh my God.

288
00:13:30,543 --> 00:13:31,544
- I didn't, no.

289
00:13:34,114 --> 00:13:34,948
Can we cancel it?

290
00:13:34,948 --> 00:13:36,183
- No.
- No.

291
00:13:36,183 --> 00:13:37,717
- No, we're going.

292
00:13:37,717 --> 00:13:40,387
- Okay, honey, it's been a
long day, I've had a lot.

293
00:13:40,387 --> 00:13:42,222
And I have to teach
tonight at eight.

294
00:13:44,191 --> 00:13:47,060
I have to have a big
conversation with Herbie.

295
00:13:47,060 --> 00:13:48,728
- What about?

296
00:13:50,397 --> 00:13:51,731
- He wants to play
softball all year round,

297
00:13:51,731 --> 00:13:53,500
he's crazy with it, he
wants to play indoors,

298
00:13:53,500 --> 00:13:54,868
how do you play indoor softball?

299
00:13:54,868 --> 00:13:56,203
It's a winter sports.

300
00:13:56,203 --> 00:13:57,437
- Michael, he's
your best friend,

301
00:13:57,437 --> 00:13:59,339
he just wants to
spend time with you.

302
00:13:59,339 --> 00:14:02,142
- Yeah hun, but
that's a little--

303
00:14:02,142 --> 00:14:04,677
- I'm sensing a theme.

304
00:14:04,677 --> 00:14:05,879
- No.

305
00:14:05,879 --> 00:14:07,280
- There's a theme.
- There isn't.

306
00:14:07,280 --> 00:14:08,781
- Herbie wants to
spend time with you.

307
00:14:08,781 --> 00:14:10,984
I would like to spend a
little bit more time with you

308
00:14:10,984 --> 00:14:15,989
but for some reason you just
want to work and do this.

309
00:14:16,924 --> 00:14:18,225
- I just have a lot going on.

310
00:14:18,225 --> 00:14:20,293
You know, it's not
that I don't want to.

311
00:14:21,728 --> 00:14:24,731
It's just hectic, it'll be
less hectic soon, I promise.

312
00:14:24,731 --> 00:14:27,200
- Okay, I understand
that you're stressed

313
00:14:27,200 --> 00:14:30,503
and I have just been
very supportive of you.

314
00:14:30,503 --> 00:14:32,105
You started your own practice,

315
00:14:32,105 --> 00:14:34,441
you started teaching
these night classes.

316
00:14:34,441 --> 00:14:37,110
I get it, the only thing
that I am asking for

317
00:14:37,110 --> 00:14:39,512
is that we continue to
see Dr. Leland, okay?

318
00:14:40,948 --> 00:14:42,749
Come on, I'll get your shoes.

319
00:14:48,355 --> 00:14:51,891
- I don't wanna make
any assumptions, but.

320
00:14:54,361 --> 00:14:56,463
- Oh, yeah.

321
00:14:56,463 --> 00:14:59,332
Well, I didn't have time
to change before I came.

322
00:15:01,434 --> 00:15:03,370
I'm sorry, but
also on that note,

323
00:15:03,370 --> 00:15:04,804
we're gonna have to
leave a little bit early

324
00:15:04,804 --> 00:15:06,039
because I have to change--

325
00:15:06,039 --> 00:15:07,440
- He forgot about
our session, again.

326
00:15:07,440 --> 00:15:10,910
- Now, Michael,
before you respond

327
00:15:10,910 --> 00:15:13,380
it's important that you listen.

328
00:15:14,814 --> 00:15:17,750
- You do know that I am my
psychiatrist as well, right?

329
00:15:17,750 --> 00:15:22,755
- Well, what you do is
different than what I do.

330
00:15:23,623 --> 00:15:27,394
How has your intimacy been?

331
00:15:35,168 --> 00:15:36,803
- Good.

332
00:15:36,803 --> 00:15:40,707
- Should I be
practicing my intimacy?

333
00:15:40,707 --> 00:15:42,809
- No, no, you shouldn't,

334
00:15:42,809 --> 00:15:44,211
you definitely should not be.

335
00:15:44,211 --> 00:15:45,812
Okay, we're gonna
just skip ahead

336
00:15:45,812 --> 00:15:47,914
a little bit in the story, okay?

337
00:15:47,914 --> 00:15:49,149
Skip that.

338
00:15:49,149 --> 00:15:51,985
- Michael, Sasha
has been very open

339
00:15:51,985 --> 00:15:56,623
about the fact that she'd
like to have a child soon.

340
00:15:56,623 --> 00:15:59,959
I think you should be
more receptive to that.

341
00:16:02,329 --> 00:16:03,163
- I'm open.

342
00:16:05,298 --> 00:16:07,534
The problem is that it's
not possible right now,

343
00:16:07,534 --> 00:16:09,036
because we are busy,
we were running around.

344
00:16:09,036 --> 00:16:11,104
You have school, you have all
that actresses school stuff.

345
00:16:11,104 --> 00:16:13,873
- It's only impossible because
you take on so much work

346
00:16:13,873 --> 00:16:15,642
that you avoid all
of our home issues.

347
00:16:15,642 --> 00:16:16,809
- I have to work.

348
00:16:16,809 --> 00:16:18,911
Like people work, that happens.

349
00:16:18,911 --> 00:16:21,014
- Yeah, but your work
is in your control.

350
00:16:21,014 --> 00:16:23,316
Right now, he just
started a private practice

351
00:16:23,316 --> 00:16:25,618
and he's also teaching
night classes.

352
00:16:25,618 --> 00:16:28,621
- It helps to just make
sure it's consistent.

353
00:16:28,621 --> 00:16:30,357
I'm sorry for working.

354
00:16:30,357 --> 00:16:33,926
- Are you hearing
Sasha, Michael?

355
00:16:35,095 --> 00:16:38,198
- Yes, I'm sitting
right here, I hear her.

356
00:16:38,198 --> 00:16:42,335
- Like, are you
really listening?

357
00:16:44,504 --> 00:16:45,905
- He's not

358
00:16:45,905 --> 00:16:49,376
- Yes, okay I hear
you, I'm right here.

359
00:16:49,376 --> 00:16:52,279
- What I'm hearing
from you Michael

360
00:16:52,279 --> 00:16:57,284
is your fear of
starting a whole family.

361
00:16:58,385 --> 00:16:59,752
What are your
feelings about that?

362
00:17:02,822 --> 00:17:05,558
- I do wanna start a family.

363
00:17:05,558 --> 00:17:09,962
- No one is saying you need
to have a child tomorrow.

364
00:17:09,962 --> 00:17:11,664
- Right, or the next day,

365
00:17:11,664 --> 00:17:13,466
I just wanna hear that
you're excited about it.

366
00:17:13,466 --> 00:17:15,668
- You know, you can't have
a kid tomorrow anyway.

367
00:17:19,072 --> 00:17:22,342
- She wants to believe in you.

368
00:17:24,043 --> 00:17:25,978
- Fine, I get it,
we'll start a family.

369
00:17:27,380 --> 00:17:30,850
- Good, now that
wasn't so hard, was it?

370
00:17:33,320 --> 00:17:36,456
Here's what I'm
going to suggest.

371
00:17:36,456 --> 00:17:41,461
Three nights a week,
you have a date night

372
00:17:43,062 --> 00:17:48,067
but no alcohol, it's
bad for conception.

373
00:17:52,405 --> 00:17:53,406
- Doctor's orders.

374
00:17:55,442 --> 00:17:57,110
I'm excited, aren't you excited?

375
00:17:57,110 --> 00:17:58,711
- Yes.

376
00:17:58,711 --> 00:18:00,713
So he was getting
a lot of pressure

377
00:18:00,713 --> 00:18:03,316
and he decided he wanted
to talk to her about it.

378
00:18:03,316 --> 00:18:05,452
And he also needed
to talk to Herbie

379
00:18:05,452 --> 00:18:07,354
about not playing softball.

380
00:18:08,955 --> 00:18:10,723
- Hey.
- Hey man.

381
00:18:10,723 --> 00:18:13,926
Hey, what's up?

382
00:18:13,926 --> 00:18:16,729
- Hey, you have to be on
time for your appointments.

383
00:18:18,265 --> 00:18:20,333
- Herbie, this is lunch,
this isn't an appointment

384
00:18:20,333 --> 00:18:22,202
and I'm like two minutes late.

385
00:18:22,202 --> 00:18:23,069
- Two and a half.

386
00:18:24,103 --> 00:18:24,937
- Two and a half.

387
00:18:24,937 --> 00:18:26,973
All right, sorry, fine.

388
00:18:26,973 --> 00:18:28,841
- So, how are things?

389
00:18:30,477 --> 00:18:32,412
- To be honest, I feel
like I'm losing my mind.

390
00:18:32,412 --> 00:18:35,982
Sasha used to be so
understanding about everything.

391
00:18:35,982 --> 00:18:38,618
And now it's, like
we both agreed

392
00:18:38,618 --> 00:18:40,787
that starting my own practice
was a good career move.

393
00:18:40,787 --> 00:18:42,989
And she knows I have to teach
at the community college,

394
00:18:42,989 --> 00:18:44,491
it's a little extra money,

395
00:18:44,491 --> 00:18:45,958
it's a good opportunity to
publish stuff and whatever.

396
00:18:45,958 --> 00:18:49,396
But lately all we talk about
when I'm home is babies.

397
00:18:50,830 --> 00:18:55,368
- Wow, man, I'm really glad
you came to meet me, you know.

398
00:18:56,236 --> 00:18:58,037
We really have to talk softball.

399
00:19:00,940 --> 00:19:03,776
- You didn't listen to a
word I just said, did you?

400
00:19:03,776 --> 00:19:05,378
- No, I heard all of it.

401
00:19:05,378 --> 00:19:07,914
Sasha wants a kid
and you're a bum.

402
00:19:09,449 --> 00:19:11,251
- All right, Herbie,
you wanna talk softball?

403
00:19:11,251 --> 00:19:12,719
- Yeah.

404
00:19:12,719 --> 00:19:15,555
- I think that it is time
to throw in the towel.

405
00:19:15,555 --> 00:19:17,490
We haven't won a
game in five years.

406
00:19:17,490 --> 00:19:19,892
I mean, what are we
doing out there, man?

407
00:19:20,760 --> 00:19:21,694
- What do you mean?

408
00:19:22,829 --> 00:19:24,331
I paid up front
for the whole year.

409
00:19:25,198 --> 00:19:26,933
You want me to be on $60?

410
00:19:26,933 --> 00:19:28,635
It's not refundable, Michael.

411
00:19:28,635 --> 00:19:30,136
- I will cover the cost.

412
00:19:31,070 --> 00:19:32,205
- It's not about the cost,

413
00:19:32,205 --> 00:19:34,106
it's about friendship
and teamwork.

414
00:19:35,275 --> 00:19:36,743
- Why don't we do
something else?

415
00:19:36,743 --> 00:19:38,378
Why don't we get to play
softball in the winter time?

416
00:19:38,378 --> 00:19:40,447
- Tell me, to bring
(indistinct) softball.

417
00:19:40,447 --> 00:19:42,282
- All right, all right, fine.

418
00:19:42,282 --> 00:19:43,650
Hey, just relax.

419
00:19:43,650 --> 00:19:44,484
- Just tell me.

420
00:19:44,484 --> 00:19:46,719
- Shh, just relax,

421
00:19:46,719 --> 00:19:48,621
we're gonna have fun
and play softball.

422
00:19:54,394 --> 00:19:55,795
- I'm sorry, man.

423
00:19:57,163 --> 00:19:58,631
I love softball, man.

424
00:19:59,966 --> 00:20:04,136
Listen, man, I've been watching
a lot of YouTube videos

425
00:20:05,204 --> 00:20:07,807
and my game is
improving, you'll see.

426
00:20:07,807 --> 00:20:10,610
- The videos didn't
help anything.

427
00:20:10,610 --> 00:20:13,380
Herbie was easily the
worst softball player ever.

428
00:20:15,315 --> 00:20:16,749
(screaming)

429
00:20:16,749 --> 00:20:20,052
It's chilly out my hands,
it's a little limpy.

430
00:20:20,052 --> 00:20:21,153
Maybe it's cause I'm too quick

431
00:20:21,153 --> 00:20:22,389
and my arms are too strong, man.

432
00:20:22,389 --> 00:20:24,324
You gotta be there man.

433
00:20:24,324 --> 00:20:26,726
Come on, man, it's nice
to have a softball, bro.

434
00:20:28,628 --> 00:20:30,263
- Don't do that.

435
00:20:30,263 --> 00:20:31,464
- I know what I'm doing.

436
00:20:32,565 --> 00:20:34,467
- I've seen Amish
websites with more hits.

437
00:20:43,910 --> 00:20:45,678
- Tie goes to the runner, man.

438
00:20:45,678 --> 00:20:47,814
It goes to the runner.

439
00:20:47,814 --> 00:20:49,682
- It's softball, what
are you talking about?

440
00:20:49,682 --> 00:20:52,051
- [Michael] So
Herbie was terrible

441
00:20:52,051 --> 00:20:55,121
and Janine was really
starting to get on his nerves.

442
00:20:55,121 --> 00:20:56,456
- Oh Michael, Michael.

443
00:20:59,191 --> 00:21:01,461
How was your session with
Dr. Leland yesterday?

444
00:21:03,996 --> 00:21:05,998
- Yeah, we're not gonna do that.

445
00:21:07,434 --> 00:21:08,701
Fine, I don't care,

446
00:21:08,701 --> 00:21:09,802
I can just call Sasha
and get all the dits,

447
00:21:09,802 --> 00:21:11,203
I don't need you.

448
00:21:15,207 --> 00:21:17,710
- You know, if
you weren't family

449
00:21:17,710 --> 00:21:19,011
I'd probably fire you.

450
00:21:20,179 --> 00:21:22,281
- But we are family.

451
00:21:22,281 --> 00:21:26,085
- And because he needed
to teach classes at night,

452
00:21:26,085 --> 00:21:28,588
things were getting a
little bit strained at home.

453
00:21:29,456 --> 00:21:30,623
So who can tell me

454
00:21:31,958 --> 00:21:34,927
some of the early
symptoms of schizophrenia?

455
00:21:41,233 --> 00:21:42,735
No?

456
00:21:42,735 --> 00:21:45,204
It was in the reading, nothing.

457
00:21:46,773 --> 00:21:48,341
Nobody, okay.

458
00:21:48,341 --> 00:21:50,877
You know what, this seems
like a good time to wrap.

459
00:21:50,877 --> 00:21:52,645
So why don't we take
this up next week?

460
00:21:52,645 --> 00:21:55,648
Thank you guys, I
guess, good job.

461
00:21:55,648 --> 00:21:57,149
None of this is gonna
be on the final anyway.

462
00:21:57,149 --> 00:22:00,553
So be safe, I heard that
there's like a snow, so.

463
00:22:05,858 --> 00:22:08,027
- I've been recording
all of your sessions,

464
00:22:08,027 --> 00:22:09,862
I have a question.

465
00:22:09,862 --> 00:22:11,063
- Okay.

466
00:22:11,063 --> 00:22:14,867
- Psychology means
psycho, we're psychos?

467
00:22:16,068 --> 00:22:17,203
- What, psychos?

468
00:22:17,203 --> 00:22:18,505
- Psycho-logy.

469
00:22:18,505 --> 00:22:19,338
- No, no.

470
00:22:20,640 --> 00:22:22,141
Did you get that from tonight?

471
00:22:23,342 --> 00:22:24,977
Is that like a recorded thing?

472
00:22:27,614 --> 00:22:31,117
- Is that legal to record you?

473
00:22:31,117 --> 00:22:33,319
- I don't know, are you
recording right now?

474
00:22:34,754 --> 00:22:36,255
It's just always recording me?

475
00:22:37,457 --> 00:22:40,960
- Hold on a second,
this is not therapy.

476
00:22:40,960 --> 00:22:43,129
- Yeah, you're cheaper
than my therapist.

477
00:22:45,031 --> 00:22:46,098
- We need to make
this distinction.

478
00:22:46,098 --> 00:22:47,033
This is not therapy,

479
00:22:47,033 --> 00:22:49,268
this is like introduction to--

480
00:22:49,268 --> 00:22:50,970
- I learned a lot
in my own therapy

481
00:22:50,970 --> 00:22:53,339
and I learned a lot
in this therapy class.

482
00:22:53,339 --> 00:22:54,874
I'm like a therapist already.

483
00:22:54,874 --> 00:22:58,678
And my mom says I
should talk to you more.

484
00:22:58,678 --> 00:23:01,380
- Do you have any questions
about the final or anything?

485
00:23:01,380 --> 00:23:03,416
- All right, I got what I need,

486
00:23:03,416 --> 00:23:05,084
I'll listen to it
tonight, again.

487
00:23:05,918 --> 00:23:06,753
Thank you.

488
00:23:10,056 --> 00:23:12,024
- Professor, hey professor.

489
00:23:12,024 --> 00:23:14,794
- Hi, yes, Brenda how are you?

490
00:23:14,794 --> 00:23:16,796
- I'm good, how are you?

491
00:23:17,964 --> 00:23:20,032
A couple of us are going
out for drinks tonight

492
00:23:20,032 --> 00:23:20,967
if you're interested.

493
00:23:20,967 --> 00:23:23,836
- Oh yeah, I would love to

494
00:23:23,836 --> 00:23:24,837
but my wife is home.

495
00:23:27,774 --> 00:23:29,642
- I was hoping to be a dancer,

496
00:23:29,642 --> 00:23:32,411
but I guess listen to people
could be a good backup plan,

497
00:23:32,411 --> 00:23:33,946
'cause, you know, I'm
at a friend's house,

498
00:23:33,946 --> 00:23:37,049
they let me listen
to them (indistinct)

499
00:23:38,117 --> 00:23:39,586
- Yeah, but my wife's at home.

500
00:23:39,586 --> 00:23:41,187
I can't stop for
a beer, I'm sorry.

501
00:23:41,187 --> 00:23:44,090
- Come on, come we
drink, one beer?

502
00:23:44,090 --> 00:23:45,458
- I can't, just one.

503
00:23:45,458 --> 00:23:46,425
All right, maybe just one.

504
00:23:46,425 --> 00:23:47,426
All right, I think I can do one.

505
00:23:47,426 --> 00:23:48,728
Let me hold my jacket.

506
00:23:50,630 --> 00:23:51,731
Which part do you guys go to?

507
00:23:51,731 --> 00:23:52,932
So he went out.

508
00:23:54,734 --> 00:23:56,268
He was just on the wrong path.

509
00:24:01,641 --> 00:24:03,075
- You're a little late.

510
00:24:03,075 --> 00:24:05,545
- Yeah, I'm so sorry, hunny.

511
00:24:05,545 --> 00:24:07,514
The students had a bunch
of questions after class,

512
00:24:07,514 --> 00:24:08,848
so we stayed a little later.

513
00:24:08,848 --> 00:24:10,216
- Two hours of questions.

514
00:24:10,216 --> 00:24:12,084
- Yeah, a lot of questions.

515
00:24:15,387 --> 00:24:16,723
- And you've been drinking.

516
00:24:20,359 --> 00:24:23,329
- Yeah, some of the questions
did happen at a bar.

517
00:24:26,999 --> 00:24:29,001
- We were supposed
to have a date.

518
00:24:29,001 --> 00:24:31,170
Dr. Leland said three
date nights a week.

519
00:24:31,170 --> 00:24:34,106
Once again, you just
completely ignored his advice.

520
00:24:34,106 --> 00:24:36,743
And I told you I'm ovulating.

521
00:24:36,743 --> 00:24:37,610
(record scratching)

522
00:24:37,610 --> 00:24:38,811
- What's ovulating?

523
00:24:46,218 --> 00:24:48,220
- Look, it just means
she wanted a baby.

524
00:24:48,220 --> 00:24:52,024
Okay, and that's what
I believe, anyway.

525
00:24:52,024 --> 00:24:52,892
- I'm ovulating.

526
00:24:52,892 --> 00:24:55,394
- No, you are not.

527
00:24:55,394 --> 00:24:56,629
You are not.

528
00:24:58,931 --> 00:25:00,032
No more questions

529
00:25:01,467 --> 00:25:03,169
or else you guys are not gonna
know the rest of the story.

530
00:25:03,169 --> 00:25:04,436
You're never gonna
know how I met Santa.

531
00:25:04,436 --> 00:25:07,774
I mean, how he met
Santa Claus, capeesh?

532
00:25:07,774 --> 00:25:08,608
- Capeesh.

533
00:25:09,976 --> 00:25:10,943
- Now, where was I?

534
00:25:11,844 --> 00:25:13,112
- She was ovulating.

535
00:25:14,013 --> 00:25:16,048
- Not funny, but correct.

536
00:25:16,048 --> 00:25:17,584
- Michael, what is
going on with you?

537
00:25:17,584 --> 00:25:18,417
- Nothing.

538
00:25:20,119 --> 00:25:20,953
I just.

539
00:25:22,121 --> 00:25:23,355
- What?

540
00:25:23,355 --> 00:25:25,191
- I just don't know
if I wanna have kids.

541
00:25:26,192 --> 00:25:27,226
At all?

542
00:25:27,226 --> 00:25:28,194
- At all.

543
00:25:29,395 --> 00:25:30,830
- But you said that you did.

544
00:25:33,532 --> 00:25:34,901
Why did you change your mind?

545
00:25:34,901 --> 00:25:35,702
Is it me?

546
00:25:35,702 --> 00:25:37,369
- No, no, of course not.

547
00:25:37,369 --> 00:25:38,571
Don't be silly, come on.

548
00:25:40,372 --> 00:25:41,207
I don't know.

549
00:25:42,875 --> 00:25:45,411
I don't know if I don't want
them or if I'm not ready.

550
00:25:46,646 --> 00:25:48,414
Maybe it's just
not the right time.

551
00:25:52,451 --> 00:25:53,285
- Okay.

552
00:25:56,155 --> 00:25:58,691
It's never gonna be the
right time with you, is it?

553
00:25:59,826 --> 00:26:01,628
I don't know if
this is gonna work.

554
00:26:01,628 --> 00:26:03,963
- Come on, Sasha, what
are you saying, come on.

555
00:26:07,366 --> 00:26:08,200
Come on.

556
00:26:19,545 --> 00:26:20,379
Damn me.

557
00:26:27,687 --> 00:26:29,388
So what if I don't
want kids, huh?

558
00:26:30,389 --> 00:26:32,391
Nobody wants kids.

559
00:26:32,391 --> 00:26:33,926
Kids ruin peoples lives--

560
00:26:33,926 --> 00:26:38,197
Things just kept getting
worse and worse and worse.

561
00:26:38,197 --> 00:26:39,598
- Why would you
say that, Mickey,

562
00:26:39,598 --> 00:26:41,968
it's just gonna
make her more upset.

563
00:26:41,968 --> 00:26:44,536
- Yes, I know.

564
00:26:46,673 --> 00:26:47,940
Like I told you, he's dumb.

565
00:26:47,940 --> 00:26:49,308
I mean he liked his
life the way it was.

566
00:26:49,308 --> 00:26:51,110
- His life wasn't even good.

567
00:26:51,110 --> 00:26:52,211
- It was good.

568
00:26:53,145 --> 00:26:54,413
- Didn't sound that good.

569
00:26:56,883 --> 00:26:59,018
- Hey, I don't like this story,

570
00:26:59,018 --> 00:27:03,956
it has nothing to do with
Santa or anything, you lied.

571
00:27:04,556 --> 00:27:06,058
- I did not.

572
00:27:06,058 --> 00:27:08,828
Well look, I'm building to
it, okay, I'm getting there.

573
00:27:08,828 --> 00:27:11,731
- Just cut to the Santa part.

574
00:27:11,731 --> 00:27:13,199
- Okay, okay, everyone relax.

575
00:27:13,199 --> 00:27:15,935
All right, look, so that night
the roads were really icy

576
00:27:15,935 --> 00:27:18,470
and everyone was told
to stay off the roads,

577
00:27:18,470 --> 00:27:19,972
but he didn't listen.

578
00:27:19,972 --> 00:27:21,273
- Because he's dumb.

579
00:27:22,842 --> 00:27:24,643
- Yes, because he's dumb.

580
00:27:27,747 --> 00:27:29,448
So he went out for a drive,

581
00:27:29,448 --> 00:27:30,883
and little did he know

582
00:27:30,883 --> 00:27:33,219
that Santa Claus was
about to change his life.

583
00:27:33,219 --> 00:27:37,890
(bell ringing)
- Merry Christmas Michael,

584
00:27:37,890 --> 00:27:39,191
you should really watch the road

585
00:27:39,191 --> 00:27:41,794
(car crashing)

586
00:27:45,464 --> 00:27:48,034
(gentle music)

587
00:28:14,460 --> 00:28:15,294
Sasha.

588
00:29:02,241 --> 00:29:06,012
- Pretty cold last
night, huh, Michael?

589
00:29:06,012 --> 00:29:07,213
I'll tell you this,

590
00:29:07,213 --> 00:29:09,281
if this keeps up,
I'm moving to Mexico.

591
00:29:13,185 --> 00:29:16,688
- He was in for the
surprise of his life.

592
00:29:18,657 --> 00:29:21,260
(upbeat music)

593
00:30:04,103 --> 00:30:07,239
I'm Sorry that I'm late
to (indistinct) paper.

594
00:30:07,239 --> 00:30:08,240
I had a weird 12 hours,

595
00:30:08,240 --> 00:30:10,076
could you cancel
my three o'clock

596
00:30:10,076 --> 00:30:12,711
and just look up my car
insurance information please.

597
00:30:14,680 --> 00:30:16,248
- Huh?

598
00:30:16,248 --> 00:30:18,918
- I'm sorry, Gary, I know
you're always punctual

599
00:30:18,918 --> 00:30:20,352
especially 'cause
the court thing

600
00:30:20,352 --> 00:30:21,687
I just had a strange
Santa encounter last night

601
00:30:21,687 --> 00:30:23,755
that kind of stuck
with me, so I just.

602
00:30:23,755 --> 00:30:28,427
- It's okay, I've plenty
of runs with Santa myself.

603
00:30:28,427 --> 00:30:30,262
I'm not allowed at
the mall anymore.

604
00:30:32,731 --> 00:30:33,532
- What are you doing here?

605
00:30:33,532 --> 00:30:35,701
Who let you in here?

606
00:30:35,701 --> 00:30:36,535
- Excuse me.

607
00:30:38,604 --> 00:30:39,438
- Janine?

608
00:30:39,438 --> 00:30:41,007
- What, what is it?

609
00:30:42,875 --> 00:30:44,343
- Oh, what's going on here?

610
00:30:45,912 --> 00:30:48,247
I get it, is this
some kind of joke?

611
00:30:49,515 --> 00:30:50,682
- Are you okay?

612
00:30:50,682 --> 00:30:51,984
- Is this a camera show?

613
00:30:53,819 --> 00:30:54,954
Who put you up to this?

614
00:30:57,056 --> 00:30:58,324
Was it Herbie?

615
00:30:58,324 --> 00:31:00,059
Was it Herbie, I
bet it was Herbie.

616
00:31:00,059 --> 00:31:01,593
Yeah, everything's fine, Janine.

617
00:31:03,930 --> 00:31:05,597
- That's another thing.

618
00:31:05,597 --> 00:31:08,834
The mall is open
all year people.

619
00:31:08,834 --> 00:31:11,203
See, I don't need therapy.

620
00:31:11,203 --> 00:31:14,440
I know what sets me off,
needles and lines at the mall.

621
00:31:19,145 --> 00:31:20,913
- Did you say needles?

622
00:31:20,913 --> 00:31:21,747
- Yes.

623
00:31:25,684 --> 00:31:26,518
- Gary?

624
00:31:27,653 --> 00:31:29,555
- Yes, Gary.

625
00:31:29,555 --> 00:31:33,825
Me, Gary, like I
was saying the mall.

626
00:31:34,994 --> 00:31:37,729
Why does everyone
only go in December?

627
00:31:37,729 --> 00:31:39,165
It's so dumb.

628
00:31:40,599 --> 00:31:41,467
- All right, seriously,
what is going on?

629
00:31:41,467 --> 00:31:42,568
This is not funny.

630
00:31:42,568 --> 00:31:44,403
Where are your parents?

631
00:31:44,403 --> 00:31:45,938
- My parents?

632
00:31:45,938 --> 00:31:49,008
My parents are long gone,
Michael, you knew this.

633
00:31:50,476 --> 00:31:53,980
Maybe we should spend a
session talking about dad.

634
00:31:53,980 --> 00:31:57,216
Actually, maybe that's
where I get it from

635
00:31:58,985 --> 00:32:00,819
- What, Janine, Janine.

636
00:32:03,255 --> 00:32:05,191
You are not Janine,
you're not Janine,

637
00:32:05,191 --> 00:32:07,059
who are you, what's going on?

638
00:32:07,059 --> 00:32:08,160
You are a child.

639
00:32:09,895 --> 00:32:11,063
I'm gonna find Janine,

640
00:32:11,063 --> 00:32:12,898
I'm gonna find out
exactly what's going on.

641
00:32:19,238 --> 00:32:21,540
Yeah, I know you're
here, Janine.

642
00:32:21,540 --> 00:32:23,842
I can see your car, come on.

643
00:32:23,842 --> 00:32:25,711
- I'm right here, Michael.

644
00:32:29,115 --> 00:32:30,749
- This isn't funny.

645
00:32:30,749 --> 00:32:32,284
This is not funny,

646
00:32:32,284 --> 00:32:33,219
I don't know what is going
on, but this is not funny.

647
00:32:33,219 --> 00:32:34,953
- Are you okay?

648
00:32:34,953 --> 00:32:37,123
Should I call Sasha?

649
00:32:37,123 --> 00:32:38,657
- Sasha, how do you
know about Sasha?

650
00:32:38,657 --> 00:32:40,892
- Even I know about Sasha,

651
00:32:40,892 --> 00:32:43,429
you talk about her all the time.

652
00:32:44,630 --> 00:32:46,565
- Do you want me
to cancel your day?

653
00:32:48,734 --> 00:32:52,071
- Yes, yes, cancel everything.

654
00:32:52,071 --> 00:32:54,740
Just find your
parents or something.

655
00:32:56,842 --> 00:32:58,677
- Are you a shrink too?

656
00:32:58,677 --> 00:33:00,712
I think I got more
to talk about today.

657
00:33:00,712 --> 00:33:02,281
- You can talk to yourself.

658
00:33:03,349 --> 00:33:05,917
(gentle music)

659
00:33:11,890 --> 00:33:12,891
- Oh my God.

660
00:33:28,574 --> 00:33:31,343
So like I said
earlier, he hated kids

661
00:33:31,343 --> 00:33:34,280
and now everybody
that he sees is a kid.

662
00:33:40,018 --> 00:33:41,420
What is going on?

663
00:34:05,211 --> 00:34:06,145
Hey, wow, wow, wow,

664
00:34:06,145 --> 00:34:07,846
what are you doing here?

665
00:34:07,846 --> 00:34:09,315
- What?

666
00:34:09,315 --> 00:34:10,916
- You don't just tear
things down off the wall,

667
00:34:10,916 --> 00:34:12,384
weren't you supposed
to be a class?

668
00:34:12,384 --> 00:34:15,154
- I'm sorry, man, I'm just
filling in for Richie.

669
00:34:15,154 --> 00:34:18,257
- What, all right, you know
what, what's your name?

670
00:34:18,257 --> 00:34:19,791
I'm gonna tell Mrs. Levitt

671
00:34:19,791 --> 00:34:21,693
and she's gonna tell your
parents, what's your name?

672
00:34:21,693 --> 00:34:23,895
What's your name,
I'm gonna find out.

673
00:34:23,895 --> 00:34:25,464
I'm gonna find out.

674
00:34:27,099 --> 00:34:29,968
And he was in for
another big surprise.

675
00:34:31,503 --> 00:34:32,738
- This is Frederick,

676
00:34:32,738 --> 00:34:35,441
he's my bestest friend
in the whole wide world.

677
00:34:35,441 --> 00:34:38,076
My mom gave him to me when
I was just two years old.

678
00:34:41,947 --> 00:34:43,482
- Where is Sasha?

679
00:34:44,483 --> 00:34:45,317
- Frederick.

680
00:34:45,317 --> 00:34:47,853
(children screaming)

681
00:34:47,853 --> 00:34:49,621
- Michael, what
are you doing here?

682
00:34:52,891 --> 00:34:53,725
- My God.

683
00:34:56,328 --> 00:34:58,230
- Everything is gonna be fine,

684
00:34:58,230 --> 00:34:59,731
just give me one second.

685
00:35:01,066 --> 00:35:04,236
(children whimpering)

686
00:35:11,543 --> 00:35:12,711
What was that?

687
00:35:14,980 --> 00:35:16,248
- I don't know.

688
00:35:18,350 --> 00:35:19,518
I don't know what's
going on, Sasha.

689
00:35:19,518 --> 00:35:20,652
Something's happening,

690
00:35:20,652 --> 00:35:22,087
something is
happening right now.

691
00:35:22,087 --> 00:35:24,823
- You just scared an
entire class of children.

692
00:35:29,127 --> 00:35:30,629
Are you even listening to me?

693
00:35:30,629 --> 00:35:33,565
- Sasha, it's kind of crazy
coming from you right now.

694
00:35:35,066 --> 00:35:37,336
- Look, you need
to leave Michael,

695
00:35:37,336 --> 00:35:39,137
you know, I'm up for that award

696
00:35:39,137 --> 00:35:40,406
and you're just
gonna blow it for me

697
00:35:40,406 --> 00:35:41,973
by freaking out my class.

698
00:35:44,643 --> 00:35:46,612
Is there something
wrong, can I help?

699
00:35:46,612 --> 00:35:47,879
- I think I need to nap,

700
00:35:47,879 --> 00:35:48,814
I think I need to
take like a quick,

701
00:35:48,814 --> 00:35:50,048
can I sleep here somewhere?

702
00:35:50,048 --> 00:35:50,982
Maybe I could go to
the nurse's office

703
00:35:50,982 --> 00:35:52,218
and we can take a quick nap?

704
00:35:52,218 --> 00:35:54,085
- What, no, you
can't sleep here.

705
00:35:54,085 --> 00:35:55,321
- What?

706
00:35:55,321 --> 00:35:56,622
- Is there something
we need to talk about?

707
00:35:56,622 --> 00:35:58,690
- Yes, we need to talk Sasha,

708
00:35:58,690 --> 00:35:59,891
but you're not gonna understand,

709
00:35:59,891 --> 00:36:01,360
it's not gonna
make sense to you?

710
00:36:05,130 --> 00:36:06,665
- Did you get my note?

711
00:36:06,665 --> 00:36:08,867
- Yeah, I got your
note, all right.

712
00:36:08,867 --> 00:36:10,101
I got the note,

713
00:36:10,101 --> 00:36:11,370
you don't understand
what's going on.

714
00:36:11,370 --> 00:36:12,704
Something is
happening right now,

715
00:36:12,704 --> 00:36:14,340
something seriously is going on.

716
00:36:14,340 --> 00:36:16,875
I don't know what it is
but something is happening.

717
00:36:16,875 --> 00:36:19,345
- You're right,
something is happening,

718
00:36:20,246 --> 00:36:21,146
I'm leaving you.

719
00:36:24,383 --> 00:36:27,719
- Wait, hold on, what?

720
00:36:29,388 --> 00:36:32,591
- It's been on my mind for a
while, things aren't working.

721
00:36:32,591 --> 00:36:34,426
I just think we have
different goals.

722
00:36:35,761 --> 00:36:37,496
I just wanna spend
some time apart.

723
00:36:38,697 --> 00:36:40,599
- Six-year-old, how
old are (indistinct)

724
00:36:40,599 --> 00:36:42,200
How old are you, like 10?

725
00:36:42,200 --> 00:36:43,602
- Six-year-old?

726
00:36:43,602 --> 00:36:44,436
- Ow.

727
00:36:44,436 --> 00:36:45,671
- Real mature, Michael.

728
00:36:45,671 --> 00:36:47,539
Leave or I'll call
school security.

729
00:36:52,744 --> 00:36:55,314
- Sasha, please I love you.

730
00:36:57,849 --> 00:36:59,285
- Well, you should've
thought about that

731
00:36:59,285 --> 00:37:00,486
when you let me get away.

732
00:37:04,256 --> 00:37:06,458
- What is happening to me?

733
00:37:09,461 --> 00:37:10,929
- That's him.

734
00:37:10,929 --> 00:37:12,998
- Hey, wait there, I wanna
have a word with you.

735
00:37:12,998 --> 00:37:15,567
(upbeat music)

736
00:37:23,775 --> 00:37:26,312
- So he was in like
big, big trouble.

737
00:37:26,312 --> 00:37:27,946
Like more than he even realized.

738
00:37:29,681 --> 00:37:32,418
(sirens wailing)

739
00:37:48,500 --> 00:37:52,070
- In with good,
out with the bad.

740
00:37:52,070 --> 00:37:57,075
(screaming)
Deeper, very nice.

741
00:38:02,348 --> 00:38:04,516
- Oh my God, what is going on?

742
00:38:04,516 --> 00:38:06,985
- Michael, what
are you doing here?

743
00:38:07,919 --> 00:38:09,455
You remember Paula,

744
00:38:10,589 --> 00:38:12,123
I'm stretching her out.

745
00:38:12,123 --> 00:38:14,860
- Herbie, I need to
talk to you right now.

746
00:38:14,860 --> 00:38:17,162
- I don't know
what we got until.

747
00:38:17,162 --> 00:38:19,631
Can we pick this
up again next week?

748
00:38:19,631 --> 00:38:22,568
- It's okay, doll, I
have a palates class

749
00:38:22,568 --> 00:38:24,936
in about 30 minutes.

750
00:38:26,171 --> 00:38:28,139
- Remember to do
your air swings,

751
00:38:28,139 --> 00:38:29,941
it looks (indistinct),

752
00:38:29,941 --> 00:38:31,543
I call it the Herbie technique.

753
00:38:32,744 --> 00:38:33,579
- [Paula] Sure.

754
00:38:35,046 --> 00:38:36,281
- Bye Paula.

755
00:38:37,749 --> 00:38:38,984
What has gotten into you,

756
00:38:38,984 --> 00:38:42,087
you nearly gave an old
lady a heart attack?

757
00:38:42,087 --> 00:38:44,222
- Yeah, but Herbie that didn't
look like an old woman to me.

758
00:38:44,222 --> 00:38:47,292
- What are you talking
about, she's like 70.

759
00:38:47,292 --> 00:38:49,227
Hey, she may even be 90.

760
00:38:49,227 --> 00:38:51,830
I never checked it for her.

761
00:38:51,830 --> 00:38:53,331
- All right, there's something
going on here, Herbie

762
00:38:53,331 --> 00:38:56,001
And it's a serious
thing and it's crazy.

763
00:38:56,001 --> 00:38:58,637
It's gonna sound crazy
because it is crazy,

764
00:38:58,637 --> 00:38:59,938
but you're a child.

765
00:38:59,938 --> 00:39:02,374
- Now is not the time
for insults, Mikey.

766
00:39:02,374 --> 00:39:04,576
I have a legitimate
career going here.

767
00:39:04,576 --> 00:39:07,078
I don't barge into your
office and assault you.

768
00:39:08,246 --> 00:39:10,148
- What, well, you
do actually do that.

769
00:39:11,316 --> 00:39:13,885
- Is true, but I don't
make it so personal.

770
00:39:13,885 --> 00:39:15,454
- No, no, no, you
don't understand,

771
00:39:15,454 --> 00:39:18,089
you literally look like a child.

772
00:39:18,089 --> 00:39:19,257
- I don't follow you.

773
00:39:19,257 --> 00:39:20,792
- You look like
you're six years old.

774
00:39:23,194 --> 00:39:24,563
- That's ridiculous.

775
00:39:24,563 --> 00:39:26,865
- All right, well, what
do I look like to you?

776
00:39:26,865 --> 00:39:28,199
- You look crazy, Michael.

777
00:39:28,199 --> 00:39:29,601
That's what you look like.

778
00:39:31,136 --> 00:39:32,170
- Yeah, I know I look crazy,

779
00:39:32,170 --> 00:39:33,572
but do I look like an adult?

780
00:39:34,773 --> 00:39:36,274
- Did you hit your
head or something?

781
00:39:36,274 --> 00:39:37,909
- No, okay look, it
doesn't make any sense,

782
00:39:37,909 --> 00:39:39,144
but this morning I woke up

783
00:39:39,144 --> 00:39:40,912
and everybody that I've
seen has been a child.

784
00:39:40,912 --> 00:39:45,417
All right, and my patients,
Janine, Sasha, and now you.

785
00:39:45,417 --> 00:39:46,885
- I don't have time for this.

786
00:39:47,986 --> 00:39:50,021
All right, that's
actually kind of weird.

787
00:39:50,021 --> 00:39:52,190
- Yeah, and I tried to
tell Sasha at school

788
00:39:54,125 --> 00:39:55,627
she said she's gonna leave me.

789
00:39:57,195 --> 00:39:58,897
- I'm sure she'll take you back,

790
00:39:58,897 --> 00:40:00,532
you're an okay guy.

791
00:40:00,532 --> 00:40:01,900
- I'm sorry, but I
can't take you seriously

792
00:40:01,900 --> 00:40:02,968
looking like this,
you look exactly

793
00:40:02,968 --> 00:40:04,503
like you did when we were kids.

794
00:40:06,337 --> 00:40:08,640
I'm Sorry, can we do like a.

795
00:40:08,640 --> 00:40:10,241
We do back to back.

796
00:40:10,241 --> 00:40:11,610
Can we back to back please?

797
00:40:12,878 --> 00:40:13,712
(indistinct)

798
00:40:13,712 --> 00:40:14,546
- I know.

799
00:40:18,917 --> 00:40:21,319
Herbie, I think that the
cops might be looking for me.

800
00:40:21,319 --> 00:40:23,154
I was doing some weird
stuff at Sasha school today.

801
00:40:23,154 --> 00:40:26,257
I don't know, I think
they're following me.

802
00:40:26,257 --> 00:40:27,759
- And you came here?

803
00:40:27,759 --> 00:40:29,260
I don't want the
police sniffing around

804
00:40:29,260 --> 00:40:31,429
my totally normal practice.

805
00:40:31,429 --> 00:40:33,765
- Herbie, can we
just focus, please.

806
00:40:33,765 --> 00:40:36,201
I mean, come on, am I
crazy, am I losing my mind?

807
00:40:37,168 --> 00:40:38,804
- I could give you a sedative.

808
00:40:40,639 --> 00:40:42,340
- I guess one
couldn't hurt, right?

809
00:40:43,675 --> 00:40:44,442
Yeah.

810
00:40:52,017 --> 00:40:54,620
- Things might start
to get a little fuzzy

811
00:40:54,620 --> 00:40:56,522
in the next few hours.

812
00:40:58,657 --> 00:41:01,727
- Wait, what drug
did I give you?

813
00:41:01,727 --> 00:41:03,595
Hey, (snapping fingers)

814
00:41:03,595 --> 00:41:08,266
Hey, how many fingers
am I holding up?

815
00:41:08,266 --> 00:41:09,334
- I have a really
hard time following

816
00:41:09,334 --> 00:41:11,436
what you're saying to me.

817
00:41:17,475 --> 00:41:18,309
Herbie?

818
00:41:20,779 --> 00:41:23,682
(Michael groaning)

819
00:41:27,919 --> 00:41:29,688
- Feeling any better?

820
00:41:32,157 --> 00:41:34,392
You took a pretty nasty fall,

821
00:41:34,392 --> 00:41:35,661
I would've gotten you some ice,

822
00:41:35,661 --> 00:41:38,029
but I didn't wanna
leave you alone.

823
00:41:40,365 --> 00:41:42,534
- I think you gave me too much.

824
00:41:42,534 --> 00:41:43,969
- It may have been
the wrong pill.

825
00:41:45,336 --> 00:41:46,672
But it got the job done, right?

826
00:41:46,672 --> 00:41:48,173
- No, it didn't
get the job done.

827
00:41:48,173 --> 00:41:50,341
You're still a child
and I'm still crazy.

828
00:41:52,177 --> 00:41:54,913
God, this is like a bad
dream that will never end.

829
00:41:56,247 --> 00:41:57,716
- I'm officially stumped then.

830
00:41:59,084 --> 00:42:00,552
- Oh my God.

831
00:42:02,988 --> 00:42:07,525
- Merry Christmas Michael, you
should really watch the road.

832
00:42:07,525 --> 00:42:08,526
- Santa Claus.

833
00:42:10,195 --> 00:42:11,930
- You might have a
concussion my brother.

834
00:42:11,930 --> 00:42:13,732
No, no, no.

835
00:42:13,732 --> 00:42:15,466
Herbie, Santa Claus was
the last person that I saw.

836
00:42:15,466 --> 00:42:17,268
I remember we went out last
night and I was driving

837
00:42:17,268 --> 00:42:19,037
and then it was a
reindeer and Santa waved,

838
00:42:19,037 --> 00:42:20,238
(indistinct)

839
00:42:20,238 --> 00:42:21,607
And that was the last
thing I remember.

840
00:42:21,607 --> 00:42:23,141
- Was Santa Claus a child too?

841
00:42:23,141 --> 00:42:26,011
- [Michael] No, no, no, he
was the last adult I saw.

842
00:42:26,011 --> 00:42:28,279
- You know what
this means, Michael?

843
00:42:28,279 --> 00:42:30,281
- We're going to the mall.

844
00:42:30,281 --> 00:42:32,751
- So he needed things
to go back to normal,

845
00:42:32,751 --> 00:42:35,954
and to do that, he
needed to find Santa.

846
00:42:38,624 --> 00:42:40,091
- All of them?

847
00:42:40,091 --> 00:42:41,126
- All of them.

848
00:42:42,560 --> 00:42:44,062
- Wow, that's a lot of kids.

849
00:42:46,031 --> 00:42:47,565
- All right, let's
go get our Santa.

850
00:42:54,039 --> 00:42:55,741
Oh no.
- Santa too?

851
00:42:55,741 --> 00:42:56,775
- Yeah, I still
need to talk to him.

852
00:42:56,775 --> 00:42:58,009
Sorry guys, excuse me.

853
00:42:58,009 --> 00:42:59,544
(children uproar)
I'm sorry, I'm sorry,

854
00:42:59,544 --> 00:43:00,746
I'm sorry, I'm sorry.

855
00:43:00,746 --> 00:43:02,213
- Hey, watch it.

856
00:43:02,213 --> 00:43:03,649
- I'm sorry, we really
need to speak with Santa.

857
00:43:03,649 --> 00:43:06,952
- And then I want a train
set and a basketball

858
00:43:06,952 --> 00:43:08,820
and a laptop and a pony,

859
00:43:10,088 --> 00:43:11,823
and a razor scooter
and a hoverboard.

860
00:43:11,823 --> 00:43:13,692
- That's too many requests.

861
00:43:13,692 --> 00:43:14,960
- Hey, back off buddy.

862
00:43:14,960 --> 00:43:15,994
- No, no, no, you
don't understand,

863
00:43:15,994 --> 00:43:17,462
we really need to talk to Santa.

864
00:43:17,462 --> 00:43:18,864
- You gotta wait your turn.

865
00:43:18,864 --> 00:43:20,632
- No, no, no, this
is an emergency.

866
00:43:20,632 --> 00:43:21,466
- It's okay.

867
00:43:22,367 --> 00:43:23,635
- Thank you, Santa.

868
00:43:23,635 --> 00:43:24,936
Look, I just need to
know if it was you.

869
00:43:24,936 --> 00:43:28,306
- Ho, ho, ho, you
must take a seat.

870
00:43:31,710 --> 00:43:32,911
- You want me to
sit on your lap?

871
00:43:32,911 --> 00:43:33,845
- That's right.

872
00:43:34,713 --> 00:43:36,648
I am Santa Claus after all.

873
00:43:40,018 --> 00:43:42,553
- Yeah, but aren't I
gonna like crush you?

874
00:43:42,553 --> 00:43:46,024
- Just sit on my
fricking lap man,

875
00:43:46,024 --> 00:43:47,859
the kids are watching.

876
00:43:49,895 --> 00:43:51,830
- Okay.

877
00:43:58,536 --> 00:44:00,171
(Santa coughing)

878
00:44:00,171 --> 00:44:03,008
- There, isn't that better?

879
00:44:03,008 --> 00:44:04,275
- Yeah, sure.

880
00:44:04,275 --> 00:44:06,444
Yeah, look Santa, I just
need to know was it you?

881
00:44:06,444 --> 00:44:07,879
- Was what?
- Did you do this to me?

882
00:44:07,879 --> 00:44:09,547
Santa, I saw you on
the street last night,

883
00:44:09,547 --> 00:44:11,549
you told me to keep
my eyes on the road.

884
00:44:12,718 --> 00:44:15,586
- Yeah, okay, you
need to get up.

885
00:44:15,586 --> 00:44:17,789
Santa, doesn't do crazy people.

886
00:44:17,789 --> 00:44:19,457
- So you're saying you
didn't do this to me.

887
00:44:19,457 --> 00:44:21,026
- Security.

888
00:44:21,026 --> 00:44:23,929
- No, no, no, you
don't understand.

889
00:44:25,063 --> 00:44:29,434
You don't understand
(indistinct) me.

890
00:44:35,206 --> 00:44:37,675
(dog whimpering)

891
00:44:37,675 --> 00:44:38,877
No, we're not taking the puppy.

892
00:44:38,877 --> 00:44:41,079
So all day, they kept
looking for Santa.

893
00:44:41,079 --> 00:44:42,848
The neighborhood
was a small town,

894
00:44:42,848 --> 00:44:44,082
there weren't that many Santas,

895
00:44:44,082 --> 00:44:46,952
so, all of the ones
they found were kids.

896
00:45:08,907 --> 00:45:12,477
- Sorry Mikey, maybe we
can try again tomorrow.

897
00:45:13,912 --> 00:45:18,116
- Yeah, I don't even know
where else to look for him.

898
00:45:19,317 --> 00:45:20,986
- We'll figure that
out tomorrow, okay.

899
00:45:21,953 --> 00:45:23,254
Just hang in there, buddy.

900
00:46:04,762 --> 00:46:06,297
- Santa.

901
00:46:06,297 --> 00:46:07,132
- Huh?

902
00:46:10,301 --> 00:46:11,136
- Sorry.

903
00:46:15,373 --> 00:46:17,976
Sorry, I'll try and keep down.

904
00:46:17,976 --> 00:46:18,810
- Hello, Michael.

905
00:46:22,180 --> 00:46:22,981
- Santa.

906
00:46:24,682 --> 00:46:26,417
- Come over, let's have
a little chat, huh,

907
00:46:26,417 --> 00:46:28,486
I'm sure you have a lot
of questions for me.

908
00:46:30,055 --> 00:46:32,123
- Just tell me, was it you?

909
00:46:32,123 --> 00:46:33,058
(laughing)

910
00:46:33,058 --> 00:46:34,559
- Of course, yeah, weird, huh?

911
00:46:35,894 --> 00:46:37,996
- Yeah, it's really weird.

912
00:46:37,996 --> 00:46:40,198
Why are you ruining
my life, Santa?

913
00:46:40,198 --> 00:46:42,033
Santa doesn't ruin
people's lives.

914
00:46:42,033 --> 00:46:43,969
Sasha left me, man.

915
00:46:43,969 --> 00:46:45,670
I can't go to the mall,

916
00:46:45,670 --> 00:46:48,473
I got kicked out of school,
the cops are looking for me.

917
00:46:49,607 --> 00:46:52,343
My practice, I'm gonna
lose my practice,

918
00:46:52,343 --> 00:46:53,278
- Because--
- Why?

919
00:46:53,278 --> 00:46:55,813
- Why, because I'm seeing kids,

920
00:46:55,813 --> 00:46:58,016
who's gonna take me seriously?

921
00:46:58,016 --> 00:47:00,051
- Have you even stopped
to think for one second

922
00:47:00,051 --> 00:47:02,720
of why this might be
happening to you, Michael?

923
00:47:02,720 --> 00:47:04,789
- I don't know, maybe I'm not
Christmas-y enough for you.

924
00:47:04,789 --> 00:47:07,292
- Oh, that's rich.

925
00:47:07,292 --> 00:47:10,395
Christmas isn't about who is
or isn't Christmas-y enough.

926
00:47:10,395 --> 00:47:11,696
Christmas is one day a year,

927
00:47:11,696 --> 00:47:13,965
one day out of the whole year.

928
00:47:13,965 --> 00:47:15,433
- Right, that's just one day.

929
00:47:17,768 --> 00:47:19,570
So, I mean, I'm not following.

930
00:47:19,570 --> 00:47:21,039
- What do you mean
you're not following?

931
00:47:21,039 --> 00:47:23,608
Things happen for a reason.

932
00:47:23,608 --> 00:47:25,676
Look at me, for a reason.

933
00:47:25,676 --> 00:47:27,212
You say I ruined your life,

934
00:47:27,212 --> 00:47:30,481
but I don't see you taking any
blame for what's happening.

935
00:47:30,481 --> 00:47:32,583
- I did not decide to
just see kids one day.

936
00:47:32,583 --> 00:47:34,385
I didn't want that, I
didn't ask for that.

937
00:47:34,385 --> 00:47:35,653
I wasn't like I was
sitting there being like,

938
00:47:35,653 --> 00:47:38,089
hey I want more kids in
my life, this is great.

939
00:47:39,224 --> 00:47:41,927
- You know what,
you'll figure it out.

940
00:47:43,228 --> 00:47:45,730
I'm famished, so,
hey you know a good

941
00:47:45,730 --> 00:47:46,797
cookie place around here?

942
00:47:46,797 --> 00:47:48,066
- Cooking place?

943
00:47:48,066 --> 00:47:49,367
What are you talking
about cookie place,

944
00:47:49,367 --> 00:47:50,301
you need to fix this.

945
00:47:50,301 --> 00:47:51,536
- I like the big chocolate.

946
00:47:51,536 --> 00:47:53,571
- So you're not gonna
tell me how to fix this?

947
00:47:53,571 --> 00:47:55,440
(laughing)

948
00:47:55,440 --> 00:47:56,307
What is so funny?

949
00:47:57,308 --> 00:47:58,944
- Where will the fun be in that?

950
00:47:58,944 --> 00:48:00,578
- Fun?
- Yeah.

951
00:48:01,980 --> 00:48:04,782
Listen, come on let's
go, get out of my sleigh,

952
00:48:04,782 --> 00:48:06,284
out of the sleigh.

953
00:48:06,284 --> 00:48:07,518
- No, I'm not getting out
of the sleigh, you fix this,

954
00:48:07,518 --> 00:48:09,220
you need to fix this.
- Out of the sleigh.

955
00:48:09,220 --> 00:48:10,421
- I'm not getting out
of the sleigh, fix it.

956
00:48:10,421 --> 00:48:13,258
- Get out of the sleigh,
Michael, I'm hungry.

957
00:48:14,425 --> 00:48:16,962
- All right, what
am I supposed to do?

958
00:48:16,962 --> 00:48:20,431
- Ah, come on, you'll be fine.

959
00:48:20,431 --> 00:48:22,067
I'll catch you later.

960
00:48:22,067 --> 00:48:24,402
- Hey, hey, whoa whoa whoa.

961
00:48:24,402 --> 00:48:27,138
* I have to get some
cookies, maybe some scones, *

962
00:48:27,138 --> 00:48:30,708
* I'm so hungry I can't
wait to eat 'em, *

963
00:48:30,708 --> 00:48:33,744
* Santa's hungry, whoa!

964
00:48:33,744 --> 00:48:38,749
- Really, oh wow, you have
a lot to learn, Michael.

965
00:48:41,186 --> 00:48:42,420
- I'm calling the police.

966
00:48:45,790 --> 00:48:48,359
(gentle music)

967
00:48:50,395 --> 00:48:54,232
- So finding Santa obviously
did not solve his problem.

968
00:48:54,232 --> 00:48:57,835
Actually, it kind of
made things worse.

969
00:48:57,835 --> 00:48:59,837
- You know I got a call.

970
00:49:09,580 --> 00:49:10,581
What are you in for?

971
00:49:17,588 --> 00:49:19,124
- You wouldn't believe
me if I told you.

972
00:49:19,124 --> 00:49:22,060
- Been there man, Maurice.

973
00:49:23,561 --> 00:49:24,395
- Michael.

974
00:49:26,697 --> 00:49:29,034
- I've seen a lot in my day.

975
00:49:29,034 --> 00:49:31,436
I think I saw a
santa in here once.

976
00:49:32,503 --> 00:49:34,039
- In jail?

977
00:49:34,039 --> 00:49:36,041
- We all have bad days.

978
00:49:37,142 --> 00:49:38,309
- I think Santa is
like trying to teach me

979
00:49:38,309 --> 00:49:39,410
a lesson or something.

980
00:49:40,778 --> 00:49:43,714
- Sounds to me like he's
looking out for you, Michael.

981
00:49:43,714 --> 00:49:45,983
- What are you, like one of
his helpers or something?

982
00:49:45,983 --> 00:49:49,287
- I wish, I think
I'd make a great elf,

983
00:49:49,287 --> 00:49:52,057
but no, I just think
there's something

984
00:49:52,057 --> 00:49:53,791
beautiful about Christmas.

985
00:49:56,327 --> 00:49:57,795
I just wish I could
get out of here

986
00:49:57,795 --> 00:50:00,365
and spend it with my family
like I was supposed to.

987
00:50:01,999 --> 00:50:04,502
- Santa wants to see how
Christmas-y I can be, huh?

988
00:50:04,502 --> 00:50:06,437
That's what he wants, he
wants to see me be Christmas.

989
00:50:06,437 --> 00:50:08,139
He doesn't even know
how Christmas I can get.

990
00:50:08,139 --> 00:50:10,808
I can be Christmas,
I am Christmas.

991
00:50:10,808 --> 00:50:12,810
- Be careful.

992
00:50:12,810 --> 00:50:15,380
- Maurice, I think you
just saved my life.

993
00:50:16,881 --> 00:50:19,817
- Hey, happy to help
you out, Michael.

994
00:50:19,817 --> 00:50:21,919
Now, if you'll excuse me.

995
00:50:26,023 --> 00:50:27,125
- Oh God, oh God.

996
00:50:29,827 --> 00:50:32,163
- Goodman, you've made bail.

997
00:50:33,264 --> 00:50:34,465
- Finally.

998
00:50:34,465 --> 00:50:37,068
- Stay away from
the mall and schools

999
00:50:37,068 --> 00:50:40,271
for the next 30 days, okay?

1000
00:50:40,271 --> 00:50:44,109
- Done, who posted my bail?

1001
00:50:44,109 --> 00:50:45,210
Was it Santa Claus?

1002
00:50:46,777 --> 00:50:49,147
So, it was actually Herbie
who came to his rescue.

1003
00:50:49,147 --> 00:50:51,282
- I don't need my college fund.

1004
00:50:51,282 --> 00:50:53,050
- College fund, you don't
have a college fund,

1005
00:50:53,050 --> 00:50:54,585
you already went to college.

1006
00:50:54,585 --> 00:50:56,587
- You think I wanna stay a
physical therapist forever?

1007
00:50:58,956 --> 00:51:03,428
Okay, anyway, I think we
should go to (indistinct)

1008
00:51:03,428 --> 00:51:04,395
- No, Herbie, I don't have time,

1009
00:51:04,395 --> 00:51:06,631
I got to show Santa who's boss.

1010
00:51:06,631 --> 00:51:09,267
- Okay, no problem,
what's the plan?

1011
00:51:14,372 --> 00:51:15,773
- Christmas lights, come on.

1012
00:51:16,974 --> 00:51:19,544
(upbeat music)

1013
00:51:46,171 --> 00:51:48,038
- This was nice.

1014
00:51:48,038 --> 00:51:49,240
- Yeah, it's nice.

1015
00:51:50,475 --> 00:51:51,709
Santa's gonna have to
turn things back now.

1016
00:51:51,709 --> 00:51:52,943
All right, are you ready?

1017
00:51:55,546 --> 00:51:56,781
I don't know, here we go.

1018
00:52:01,452 --> 00:52:03,120
- I think I'm
temporarily blinded,

1019
00:52:03,120 --> 00:52:04,422
and, yes, it's too much.

1020
00:52:04,422 --> 00:52:07,825
- Hey Bob, what do you think?

1021
00:52:09,260 --> 00:52:11,862
- What do I think, you
wanna know what I think?

1022
00:52:12,797 --> 00:52:13,998
I think it stinks.

1023
00:52:16,534 --> 00:52:18,203
- All right, Merry Christmas.

1024
00:52:18,203 --> 00:52:19,036
- Hey Bob.

1025
00:52:23,608 --> 00:52:26,544
- All right, let's
get our Santa.

1026
00:52:27,678 --> 00:52:29,914
- Hey Mikey, you
suck at decorating.

1027
00:52:30,881 --> 00:52:32,550
- Come on Santa, where are you?

1028
00:52:36,187 --> 00:52:38,389
- Maybe we could
go to (indistinct).

1029
00:52:38,389 --> 00:52:39,390
- Not now, Herbie.

1030
00:52:43,093 --> 00:52:45,730
Come on, you say I'm
not Christmas-y enough,

1031
00:52:45,730 --> 00:52:48,499
I've got every
Christmas light in town.

1032
00:52:48,499 --> 00:52:51,936
We've been setting stuff up
all day, my fingers are numb.

1033
00:52:51,936 --> 00:52:53,504
Come on Santa, I am Christmas.

1034
00:52:54,539 --> 00:52:55,873
I am Christmas.

1035
00:52:57,074 --> 00:52:58,609
- Mikey, I don't think
that's what Santa wants.

1036
00:52:58,609 --> 00:53:01,045
- Shut up, Herbie,
I am Christmas.

1037
00:53:03,013 --> 00:53:05,616
(gentle music)

1038
00:53:08,185 --> 00:53:10,355
So he tried everything.

1039
00:53:10,355 --> 00:53:11,556
No matter what he tried,

1040
00:53:11,556 --> 00:53:13,090
he couldn't get
Santa to come back.

1041
00:53:14,492 --> 00:53:17,094
So, he realized he didn't
need more decorations,

1042
00:53:17,094 --> 00:53:18,329
he needed something else.

1043
00:53:25,936 --> 00:53:26,771
Huh?

1044
00:53:27,972 --> 00:53:31,509
I mean, that's gotta be it.

1045
00:53:33,511 --> 00:53:34,679
- It is great.

1046
00:53:37,248 --> 00:53:38,215
- It's good, right?

1047
00:53:46,357 --> 00:53:51,128
- You know, Mikey, maybe you're
trying a little too hard.

1048
00:53:52,563 --> 00:53:56,534
- I'm doing exactly what
Santa told me to do, okay.

1049
00:53:56,534 --> 00:53:58,436
- It's just, you
think that maybe

1050
00:53:58,436 --> 00:54:01,406
you're going a little overboard?

1051
00:54:01,406 --> 00:54:05,476
- Overboard, no, I mean,
Christmas is about cheer.

1052
00:54:05,476 --> 00:54:06,677
It's about decorations,
it's about--

1053
00:54:06,677 --> 00:54:08,178
- But it doesn't mean anything

1054
00:54:08,178 --> 00:54:10,281
if you don't
actually care, Mikey.

1055
00:54:10,281 --> 00:54:12,317
Look, I'm happy to
see you in the spirit.

1056
00:54:13,984 --> 00:54:18,022
It's just, do you really
want to be doing this?

1057
00:54:18,022 --> 00:54:19,256
- Want to be doing this?

1058
00:54:19,256 --> 00:54:20,525
No, I don't wanna be
doing this for me.

1059
00:54:20,525 --> 00:54:23,260
I want my life back,
that's what I want.

1060
00:54:23,260 --> 00:54:24,429
I want my life back,

1061
00:54:24,429 --> 00:54:27,097
this is some stupid,,
just cruel joke.

1062
00:54:27,998 --> 00:54:28,833
I mean, so what.

1063
00:54:30,200 --> 00:54:32,870
Yeah, I focused on my
career, I want to be better.

1064
00:54:35,005 --> 00:54:35,840
Is that so bad?

1065
00:54:37,675 --> 00:54:39,310
- You know I'm not saying that.

1066
00:54:40,411 --> 00:54:42,513
- Well, you've said enough.

1067
00:54:42,513 --> 00:54:44,382
Either you're helping
or you're not.

1068
00:54:47,718 --> 00:54:50,054
- I mean, I have enjoyed
spending time with you

1069
00:54:50,054 --> 00:54:51,322
for the past few days.

1070
00:54:53,090 --> 00:54:55,292
- Great, well, I'm glad that
you're enjoying yourself,

1071
00:54:55,292 --> 00:54:59,497
Herbie, because my life
is literally falling apart

1072
00:54:59,497 --> 00:55:00,965
while you're enjoying yourself.

1073
00:55:06,604 --> 00:55:08,939
- Dude, you know
that's not what I mean.

1074
00:55:08,939 --> 00:55:10,575
I just like hanging
out with you.

1075
00:55:17,648 --> 00:55:21,519
You know what, Mikey,
you're a bad friend.

1076
00:55:21,519 --> 00:55:23,053
You deserve all of this.

1077
00:55:24,489 --> 00:55:26,256
I hope you get whatever
it is you're looking for.

1078
00:55:46,544 --> 00:55:49,213
(piano playing)

1079
00:55:54,985 --> 00:55:56,887
- Your son has been up
since six in the morning

1080
00:55:56,887 --> 00:55:58,889
waiting for his father
to open presents.

1081
00:56:00,357 --> 00:56:01,225
Who is that?

1082
00:56:02,627 --> 00:56:03,894
Don't tell me you're still
in Baltimore, I want--

1083
00:56:03,894 --> 00:56:05,463
- Can I open just one?

1084
00:56:08,499 --> 00:56:11,869
- Don't you wanna wait
until your father gets home?

1085
00:56:11,869 --> 00:56:13,904
- But I waited all day.

1086
00:56:15,573 --> 00:56:17,942
- Okay, but just one.

1087
00:56:28,786 --> 00:56:32,557
- I love it, when his dad
gonna be home to play catch?

1088
00:56:32,557 --> 00:56:36,093
- He wants to honey,
but he has to work.

1089
00:56:36,093 --> 00:56:37,895
- But it's Christmas.

1090
00:56:39,497 --> 00:56:44,502
Why would he get me a glove if
he isn't gonna play with me?

1091
00:56:51,609 --> 00:56:52,610
- Oh my God.

1092
00:56:55,846 --> 00:56:57,047
I've turned into my dad.

1093
00:57:00,985 --> 00:57:02,052
I never wanted to be.

1094
00:57:03,387 --> 00:57:05,490
And so he finally realized
what he had to do.

1095
00:57:05,490 --> 00:57:08,025
And it was to undo all
the bad stuff he had done,

1096
00:57:09,259 --> 00:57:11,028
and that started with Sasha.

1097
00:57:12,329 --> 00:57:14,932
(gentle music)

1098
00:58:02,446 --> 00:58:06,283
- Oh my God Michael,
I heard about Sasha.

1099
00:58:06,283 --> 00:58:07,752
- How did you hear about Sasha?

1100
00:58:07,752 --> 00:58:09,353
- I text her every day.

1101
00:58:09,353 --> 00:58:10,287
- Of course you do.

1102
00:58:10,287 --> 00:58:12,289
- And I heard you went to jail.

1103
00:58:12,289 --> 00:58:14,692
Your life is falling apart.

1104
00:58:14,692 --> 00:58:16,761
- Well, that's a
little bit blunt.

1105
00:58:16,761 --> 00:58:19,797
- I don't wanna
say I told you so,

1106
00:58:19,797 --> 00:58:22,266
but I did say she wanted a baby.

1107
00:58:22,266 --> 00:58:23,668
- All right, enough.

1108
00:58:23,668 --> 00:58:26,871
I appreciate everything--
- Come here.

1109
00:58:26,871 --> 00:58:28,573
Let your aunt make
you feel better.

1110
00:58:28,573 --> 00:58:29,840
- Okay.

1111
00:58:29,840 --> 00:58:33,210
- I used to do this to
your dad all the time,

1112
00:58:33,210 --> 00:58:34,311
you'll love it.

1113
00:58:36,681 --> 00:58:40,818
- I do, okay,
actually not too bad.

1114
00:58:41,919 --> 00:58:43,754
- Are you okay?

1115
00:58:43,754 --> 00:58:48,458
- Oh, yeah, sorry, I'm
just waiting for somebody.

1116
00:58:49,493 --> 00:58:51,629
- Me too, mind if I sit?

1117
00:58:51,629 --> 00:58:52,462
- Sure.

1118
00:58:55,866 --> 00:58:57,101
- No work today?

1119
00:59:00,237 --> 00:59:01,572
- It's kind of a long story.

1120
00:59:02,707 --> 00:59:04,842
I guess I'm taking
some time off.

1121
00:59:04,842 --> 00:59:07,477
- Well, it's good to
take time off from stuff,

1122
00:59:07,477 --> 00:59:10,080
clear your head and
realize what's important.

1123
00:59:11,582 --> 00:59:12,416
- Yeah.

1124
00:59:15,319 --> 00:59:17,287
I guess I've been focusing

1125
00:59:17,287 --> 00:59:19,456
on the wrong stuff
lately, you know.

1126
00:59:19,456 --> 00:59:21,926
- Yeah, it's tough to
keep up with everything,

1127
00:59:21,926 --> 00:59:24,128
but in the end, work
is just work you know,

1128
00:59:24,128 --> 00:59:27,097
it's not really that important.

1129
00:59:27,097 --> 00:59:28,833
- Yeah, you're right.

1130
00:59:31,201 --> 00:59:34,038
(bus engine hums)

1131
00:59:40,377 --> 00:59:41,912
(indistinct)

1132
00:59:41,912 --> 00:59:45,282
- All right, well, see you
mister, have a great day.

1133
00:59:57,427 --> 01:00:00,030
(gentle music)

1134
01:00:05,870 --> 01:00:07,137
- So it was pretty clear,

1135
01:00:07,137 --> 01:00:08,773
Sasha didn't wanna
take him back.

1136
01:00:21,485 --> 01:00:25,990
- Michael, I'm sorry that
the rabbits didn't work out,

1137
01:00:27,391 --> 01:00:31,829
but maybe the rabbits really
sends the wrong message.

1138
01:00:34,331 --> 01:00:35,532
- Why?

1139
01:00:35,532 --> 01:00:38,635
- Well, rabbits have
a lot of babies,

1140
01:00:40,404 --> 01:00:43,240
it's like going from
zero babies to 10 babies,

1141
01:00:45,042 --> 01:00:47,111
you know what I'm saying?

1142
01:00:53,784 --> 01:00:58,756
She may just need time, or
maybe it's not meant to be.

1143
01:00:59,990 --> 01:01:03,160
But either way, you need
to decide what you want.

1144
01:01:15,105 --> 01:01:16,440
- All right, you win Santa,

1145
01:01:17,341 --> 01:01:18,809
you were right the whole time.

1146
01:01:20,778 --> 01:01:23,413
I've been selfish and
I just don't get it.

1147
01:01:24,348 --> 01:01:26,984
- Finally, you admit it.

1148
01:01:28,385 --> 01:01:32,256
- Hey, how'd you
know I'd be here?

1149
01:01:32,256 --> 01:01:34,759
- Like you were gonna fix
this problem on your own.

1150
01:01:39,663 --> 01:01:40,965
- I've been a bad friend.

1151
01:01:40,965 --> 01:01:43,633
- I agree, the worst friend.

1152
01:01:46,070 --> 01:01:47,171
- You wanna have a catch?

1153
01:01:47,171 --> 01:01:48,806
- I can't stay mad at you.

1154
01:01:52,076 --> 01:01:54,544
- All right here, now
grab this, put this on.

1155
01:01:54,544 --> 01:01:56,546
We're gonna do it, all right.

1156
01:01:56,546 --> 01:01:58,082
Now eye on the ball, all right.

1157
01:02:00,184 --> 01:02:05,089
I'm sorry, man, I really
am, I was a bad friend.

1158
01:02:06,190 --> 01:02:08,025
So let me, all right,
eye on the ball.

1159
01:02:08,025 --> 01:02:11,695
So once you put your left
hand, eye on the ball

1160
01:02:11,695 --> 01:02:15,232
and then just push it
to, push it to the ball.

1161
01:02:15,232 --> 01:02:17,367
You know what I mean,
like, are you ready?

1162
01:02:17,367 --> 01:02:18,202
Okay, here we go.

1163
01:02:20,104 --> 01:02:21,038
Wow, all right.

1164
01:02:21,038 --> 01:02:22,706
It's okay, that was closer.

1165
01:02:22,706 --> 01:02:24,308
Here we go, try this one, ready?

1166
01:02:27,912 --> 01:02:29,313
Hey.
- It worked.

1167
01:02:29,313 --> 01:02:30,915
- Yeah, nice job.

1168
01:02:32,182 --> 01:02:33,017
Nice job.

1169
01:02:36,086 --> 01:02:39,423
- Look Mikey, I hope everything
changes back for you.

1170
01:02:40,690 --> 01:02:44,128
- Yeah, me too Herbie, me too.

1171
01:02:45,262 --> 01:02:48,498
But even if it doesn't,
I'll still be here.

1172
01:02:53,904 --> 01:02:55,205
- I don't know about you,

1173
01:02:55,205 --> 01:02:59,977
but I could go for like
20 tacos right now.

1174
01:03:01,111 --> 01:03:02,880
- Why don't we
settle for 10, huh?

1175
01:03:02,880 --> 01:03:03,713
- Okay.

1176
01:03:05,082 --> 01:03:06,550
- Head right, catch.

1177
01:03:06,550 --> 01:03:07,384
- Don't do it.

1178
01:03:10,720 --> 01:03:13,090
What are you doing,
why would you do that?

1179
01:03:13,090 --> 01:03:15,492
All right, let's
go get the ball.

1180
01:03:15,492 --> 01:03:17,761
I don't know, man,
maybe Sasha and I

1181
01:03:17,761 --> 01:03:19,696
just aren't meant
to be together.

1182
01:03:19,696 --> 01:03:21,398
- Are you kidding me?

1183
01:03:21,398 --> 01:03:23,868
You two are like the best
couple I've ever known.

1184
01:03:25,970 --> 01:03:29,106
- Yeah, if there was
an award for best wife

1185
01:03:29,106 --> 01:03:30,207
she'd win every time.

1186
01:03:31,641 --> 01:03:34,611
- How would voting work
for in a world like that?

1187
01:03:35,579 --> 01:03:37,114
Seems tough.

1188
01:03:37,114 --> 01:03:40,717
- Yeah, you know she's actually
up for an award right now.

1189
01:03:40,717 --> 01:03:41,952
Most promising teacher,

1190
01:03:41,952 --> 01:03:44,654
the ceremony is in
like a couple hours.

1191
01:03:44,654 --> 01:03:45,956
- You gotta be there.

1192
01:03:47,224 --> 01:03:50,227
- No man, it would ruin
everything if I went.

1193
01:03:50,227 --> 01:03:52,963
- It will ruin everything
if you're not there.

1194
01:03:59,136 --> 01:04:02,672
- You know Herbie,
you might be right.

1195
01:04:02,672 --> 01:04:03,573
- I've got a plan.

1196
01:04:07,377 --> 01:04:09,779
- So yeah, Herbie had a plan,

1197
01:04:09,779 --> 01:04:11,515
but nobody said it
was a good plan.

1198
01:04:13,550 --> 01:04:16,386
- So, did you
understand the plan?

1199
01:04:18,055 --> 01:04:20,624
- I guess, I mean,
what was the plan?

1200
01:04:20,624 --> 01:04:22,826
- Okay, we go through it again.

1201
01:04:22,826 --> 01:04:25,996
When we enter the
school, we split up.

1202
01:04:38,042 --> 01:04:40,477
I'll head to the gym where
the awards are taking place.

1203
01:04:57,461 --> 01:04:59,930
Now, we give you enough
time to make your move.

1204
01:05:09,539 --> 01:05:11,708
Principals always get a
little jumpy during events,

1205
01:05:11,708 --> 01:05:13,310
so he'll be doing a
lot of checking up.

1206
01:05:13,310 --> 01:05:15,946
- I think you'll be very
happy with your results.

1207
01:05:15,946 --> 01:05:17,081
- That's very exciting.

1208
01:05:18,715 --> 01:05:20,684
- Once he sets his glass down,
that's when I make my move.

1209
01:05:20,684 --> 01:05:23,653
- I'm just gonna make
sure we're on schedule,

1210
01:05:23,653 --> 01:05:24,588
I'll be right back.

1211
01:05:32,662 --> 01:05:34,164
- While I keep the
principal busy,

1212
01:05:34,164 --> 01:05:36,233
that's when you take
care of the janitor.

1213
01:05:53,217 --> 01:05:54,451
Once the glass is clear,

1214
01:05:54,451 --> 01:05:56,420
that's when I spike
it with the laxative.

1215
01:05:57,621 --> 01:05:59,223
- [Michael] Okay, yeah,
just remember, one drop,

1216
01:05:59,223 --> 01:06:00,490
this stuff is potent.

1217
01:06:15,805 --> 01:06:16,640
- Hey.

1218
01:06:20,177 --> 01:06:21,845
Who did that?

1219
01:06:21,845 --> 01:06:23,513
- Excuse me.

1220
01:06:23,513 --> 01:06:27,417
Excuse me, how much longer
is this going to be?

1221
01:06:27,417 --> 01:06:29,086
Excuse me.

1222
01:06:29,086 --> 01:06:31,488
- Excuse me.

1223
01:06:31,488 --> 01:06:33,090
- I'm bored and when
I'm bored I get anxious,

1224
01:06:33,090 --> 01:06:34,558
and when I'm anxious,
I talk a lot.

1225
01:06:34,558 --> 01:06:38,062
I'm like I talk a lot
and people get mad at me.

1226
01:06:38,062 --> 01:06:39,796
- I'm kind of busy right now.

1227
01:06:40,830 --> 01:06:42,699
- I have to go to the bathroom

1228
01:06:42,699 --> 01:06:45,469
and I really really need to go.

1229
01:06:45,469 --> 01:06:48,138
- Stop talking for
a minute, please.

1230
01:06:48,138 --> 01:06:50,474
- Can you take me, I need
a teacher to take me.

1231
01:06:50,474 --> 01:06:51,475
- I'm not a teacher.

1232
01:06:52,876 --> 01:06:54,444
You know, you can do it by
yourself, it's not that hard.

1233
01:06:54,444 --> 01:06:56,046
- Then who are you?

1234
01:06:59,649 --> 01:07:01,151
You know I talk to a teacher.

1235
01:07:01,151 --> 01:07:02,086
You're not allowed to be--

1236
01:07:02,086 --> 01:07:03,353
- Hey, okay look, I got to go

1237
01:07:03,353 --> 01:07:05,655
but good luck with the
bathroom thing though.

1238
01:07:05,655 --> 01:07:07,391
- But I need to go
to the bathroom,

1239
01:07:07,391 --> 01:07:09,993
and I need you to entertain me.

1240
01:07:12,896 --> 01:07:14,298
- Hey, let me in.

1241
01:07:16,032 --> 01:07:18,535
- The laxative should
kick in quickly.

1242
01:07:18,535 --> 01:07:20,837
I'll stick to the
principal like glue

1243
01:07:20,837 --> 01:07:21,971
till he has to go back.

1244
01:07:30,080 --> 01:07:31,581
Once he's out of the gym,

1245
01:07:31,581 --> 01:07:32,982
that's when you go to Sasha.

1246
01:08:09,153 --> 01:08:12,756
- Hey he's the one who made
my turtle, Frederick runaway.

1247
01:08:12,756 --> 01:08:15,692
(audience gasping)

1248
01:08:17,327 --> 01:08:19,929
- Sorry about the turtle
thing, you know, Frederick.

1249
01:08:20,764 --> 01:08:22,199
- Michael.

1250
01:08:22,199 --> 01:08:23,433
- Hi Sasha.

1251
01:08:23,433 --> 01:08:24,868
Sorry, I know that
this is probably

1252
01:08:24,868 --> 01:08:26,136
the worst thing that I
could possibly do right now,

1253
01:08:26,136 --> 01:08:28,438
but I just, I know this
is important to you

1254
01:08:28,438 --> 01:08:30,174
and I just I wanted to be here

1255
01:08:30,174 --> 01:08:33,343
and there's no other way that
I could, you know be here.

1256
01:08:36,446 --> 01:08:39,283
(toilet flushing)

1257
01:08:52,095 --> 01:08:54,398
- Hey, who are you?

1258
01:08:54,398 --> 01:08:55,899
- I just wanted to tell you,

1259
01:08:55,899 --> 01:08:59,102
I know that it's been
a really weird week,

1260
01:08:59,102 --> 01:09:02,138
like weirder than you
can ever even imagine.

1261
01:09:02,138 --> 01:09:03,640
I guess we can talk
about that another time.

1262
01:09:03,640 --> 01:09:07,311
But look, I just want you
to know that I love you.

1263
01:09:08,178 --> 01:09:09,112
I love you more than anything.

1264
01:09:09,112 --> 01:09:12,549
And I, wow, so so many kids.

1265
01:09:14,418 --> 01:09:16,052
- You're doing great.

1266
01:09:16,052 --> 01:09:16,886
- Thank you.

1267
01:09:18,455 --> 01:09:20,424
Sasha, I don't know why
this has been so hard for me

1268
01:09:20,424 --> 01:09:22,392
to tell you this in the past,

1269
01:09:22,392 --> 01:09:26,630
but I don't know, I guess I
always thought it was obvious,

1270
01:09:26,630 --> 01:09:28,131
you know how I felt about you?

1271
01:09:29,165 --> 01:09:30,967
- You're helping
him, aren't you?

1272
01:09:30,967 --> 01:09:32,302
- No.

1273
01:09:32,302 --> 01:09:33,970
- Get out of my way.

1274
01:09:35,004 --> 01:09:36,973
- (indistinct)
Christmas and Christmas

1275
01:09:36,973 --> 01:09:38,675
we tell people how
we really feel.

1276
01:09:40,109 --> 01:09:42,246
- This ends now.

1277
01:09:42,246 --> 01:09:44,047
- No no, I can explain it.

1278
01:09:44,047 --> 01:09:45,549
I can explain.

1279
01:09:45,549 --> 01:09:47,050
- You're going straight to
jail, I called the cops.

1280
01:09:47,050 --> 01:09:49,586
- I'm just trying to tell
my wife that I love her.

1281
01:09:57,727 --> 01:09:59,396
Hello, hello, hello.

1282
01:10:08,305 --> 01:10:11,575
Hey, Sasha, I just
wanna say I'm sorry.

1283
01:10:13,243 --> 01:10:14,911
I acted like a jerk,

1284
01:10:16,212 --> 01:10:21,217
I just thought if I
worked hard (indistinct)

1285
01:10:22,319 --> 01:10:24,621
- Hey, what are you doing?

1286
01:10:24,621 --> 01:10:26,356
Get out of here, now.

1287
01:10:27,391 --> 01:10:30,594
Hey, what are you doing here?

1288
01:10:30,594 --> 01:10:34,097
- (indistinct) I'm sorry.

1289
01:10:40,003 --> 01:10:43,106
- I'm so sorry about that kids.

1290
01:10:43,106 --> 01:10:44,040
- I'm coming, Michael.

1291
01:10:44,040 --> 01:10:46,276
(cheering)

1292
01:10:52,349 --> 01:10:53,817
- Hey, stop there.

1293
01:10:55,352 --> 01:10:57,153
Oh, that's the hammie.

1294
01:11:13,002 --> 01:11:14,103
- That's him.

1295
01:11:16,139 --> 01:11:17,707
- Come on, in here.

1296
01:11:29,819 --> 01:11:32,155
- I know he's here,
I can smell him.

1297
01:11:34,223 --> 01:11:35,091
- That's weird.

1298
01:11:37,561 --> 01:11:39,028
- Don't talk to me like that.

1299
01:11:54,511 --> 01:11:57,747
(clears throat)

1300
01:11:57,747 --> 01:11:58,648
- Surprise.

1301
01:11:59,849 --> 01:12:01,818
- You always knew how
to make an entrance.

1302
01:12:03,019 --> 01:12:05,389
- Yeah, look I'm sorry,

1303
01:12:05,389 --> 01:12:06,823
I know you didn't
want me to call,

1304
01:12:06,823 --> 01:12:09,258
but I needed to see you.

1305
01:12:13,730 --> 01:12:14,731
- I got the rabbits.

1306
01:12:16,666 --> 01:12:20,904
- I know, I was watching
from the bushes.

1307
01:12:24,140 --> 01:12:25,942
- And I was watching
you from the window.

1308
01:12:30,313 --> 01:12:34,050
It was sweet, I just,
I needed some time.

1309
01:12:35,452 --> 01:12:36,285
- I know.

1310
01:12:38,254 --> 01:12:40,524
- I drove by the
house the other day.

1311
01:12:40,524 --> 01:12:42,358
You really went for it
with the decorations.

1312
01:12:42,358 --> 01:12:45,562
- Yeah, I don't know
what got into me,

1313
01:12:45,562 --> 01:12:46,930
I kind of went overboard.

1314
01:12:47,931 --> 01:12:49,098
- Yeah, I would say so.

1315
01:12:51,468 --> 01:12:52,936
- I'm really sorry,

1316
01:12:52,936 --> 01:12:54,971
I hope that this doesn't
affect you getting that award.

1317
01:12:54,971 --> 01:12:56,540
I know how much it means to you.

1318
01:12:58,107 --> 01:13:00,376
- Are you gonna tell me
what's really going on?

1319
01:13:00,376 --> 01:13:01,578
- Yeah, I can,

1320
01:13:01,578 --> 01:13:04,481
but I got to tell
you, it's unbelievable

1321
01:13:04,481 --> 01:13:06,583
and I swear to God
that this is true.

1322
01:13:09,018 --> 01:13:10,620
Since we had that
fight the other night,

1323
01:13:10,620 --> 01:13:12,856
everybody that I've
seen has been a child.

1324
01:13:12,856 --> 01:13:14,290
Everyone, you, Herbie.

1325
01:13:16,526 --> 01:13:17,994
And the craziest part

1326
01:13:17,994 --> 01:13:20,063
is that Santa Claus is
the one that did it to me.

1327
01:13:20,063 --> 01:13:21,665
- Michael, are you okay?

1328
01:13:21,665 --> 01:13:23,533
- No, no, I'm not okay.

1329
01:13:24,668 --> 01:13:26,235
I haven't been okay
for a long time.

1330
01:13:26,235 --> 01:13:29,038
And it's crazy that this ordeal

1331
01:13:29,038 --> 01:13:30,907
is what it took for
me to realize that.

1332
01:13:50,527 --> 01:13:51,360
- Them too?

1333
01:13:54,230 --> 01:13:55,465
- That's right.

1334
01:14:00,604 --> 01:14:02,305
- I'm sorry, I can
just only imagine them

1335
01:14:02,305 --> 01:14:04,240
with their little
construction hats.

1336
01:14:05,675 --> 01:14:06,610
I believe you.

1337
01:14:09,078 --> 01:14:10,213
- You do?

1338
01:14:10,213 --> 01:14:11,648
- You were never a good liar.

1339
01:14:14,417 --> 01:14:15,552
- You know the craziest thing

1340
01:14:15,552 --> 01:14:17,654
is that this is
probably the best thing

1341
01:14:17,654 --> 01:14:19,523
that's happened to
me in a long time.

1342
01:14:20,690 --> 01:14:22,158
I mean, other than
you, of course.

1343
01:14:27,296 --> 01:14:29,398
- Hey lovebirds, I'm
happy you two met up,

1344
01:14:29,398 --> 01:14:32,201
but Mikey, we have a
serious situation out there.

1345
01:14:32,201 --> 01:14:33,469
Security is looking for us

1346
01:14:33,469 --> 01:14:35,772
and the principal is
not a happy camper.

1347
01:14:35,772 --> 01:14:36,706
- Yeah, we should probably go.

1348
01:14:36,706 --> 01:14:37,941
- Yeah, hi Sasha.

1349
01:14:39,008 --> 01:14:40,644
- You two go, I'll stall them.

1350
01:14:42,712 --> 01:14:44,781
- Nobody takes us
down, right Mikey?

1351
01:14:44,781 --> 01:14:46,583
- That's right, Herbie.

1352
01:14:46,583 --> 01:14:47,584
- Bye Sasha.

1353
01:14:57,160 --> 01:14:59,596
(indistinct)

1354
01:15:02,566 --> 01:15:05,468
- So he was on top
of the world until.

1355
01:15:05,468 --> 01:15:08,304
- Get him.

1356
01:15:08,304 --> 01:15:09,806
- I'm sorry Mikey.

1357
01:15:15,344 --> 01:15:17,614
(grunting)

1358
01:15:23,052 --> 01:15:23,887
- So tight, man.

1359
01:15:30,326 --> 01:15:31,160
Thanks.

1360
01:15:34,297 --> 01:15:37,967
- Did I tell you to
stay away from schools?

1361
01:15:37,967 --> 01:15:38,802
- Yeah, you did.

1362
01:15:41,738 --> 01:15:42,739
- Hello Michael.

1363
01:15:43,907 --> 01:15:45,041
- Hey Santa.

1364
01:15:50,113 --> 01:15:50,947
Where's the suit?

1365
01:15:54,117 --> 01:15:57,086
- Dry clean it, it's getting
ready for the big day.

1366
01:15:57,086 --> 01:16:00,023
I'm a bit of a slob, Mrs.
Claus never lets me forget it.

1367
01:16:01,557 --> 01:16:04,761
- Looks like you're missing.

1368
01:16:06,162 --> 01:16:08,231
- Oh yeah, yeah.

1369
01:16:08,231 --> 01:16:10,166
I told you, I'm a bit of a slob.

1370
01:16:10,166 --> 01:16:11,567
That's milk, thank God.

1371
01:16:11,567 --> 01:16:14,003
All right, well, I still wonder

1372
01:16:14,003 --> 01:16:15,939
why she stayed with
me all these years.

1373
01:16:20,176 --> 01:16:22,445
- So I guess I owe
you an apology.

1374
01:16:23,346 --> 01:16:25,148
- Yeah, that'd be nice.

1375
01:16:27,283 --> 01:16:29,185
- I don't know
what came over me.

1376
01:16:29,185 --> 01:16:30,453
I thought I was doing
everything right.

1377
01:16:30,453 --> 01:16:32,889
I thought my life
was what I wanted

1378
01:16:32,889 --> 01:16:34,123
and where I wanted to be.

1379
01:16:36,960 --> 01:16:38,728
And the truth of
the matter is that

1380
01:16:40,063 --> 01:16:41,965
I hate that version of myself.

1381
01:16:43,366 --> 01:16:46,202
- Well, even a Grinch
has to be taught a lesson

1382
01:16:46,202 --> 01:16:47,303
every once in a while.

1383
01:16:48,905 --> 01:16:51,174
- I was kind of a Grinch, huh.

1384
01:16:51,174 --> 01:16:52,909
- The biggest Grinch.

1385
01:16:52,909 --> 01:16:54,110
You were a Grinch,

1386
01:16:54,110 --> 01:16:56,579
you were the biggest
Grinch since the Grinch.

1387
01:16:56,579 --> 01:16:58,247
You're worse than
my grandmother.

1388
01:16:59,615 --> 01:17:01,450
She was the original
Grinch, did you know that?

1389
01:17:02,318 --> 01:17:04,353
And the decorations, oh my God.

1390
01:17:04,353 --> 01:17:05,922
I mean, Christmas isn't about

1391
01:17:05,922 --> 01:17:08,124
who puts up the
most decorations.

1392
01:17:09,726 --> 01:17:10,960
- You know, I know that.

1393
01:17:10,960 --> 01:17:15,631
And they were just
bad, bad, I'm sorry.

1394
01:17:16,833 --> 01:17:18,835
- Well, I wanted to tell
you, Mike, I really did.

1395
01:17:18,835 --> 01:17:21,237
I did, but I just
thought it'd be better

1396
01:17:21,237 --> 01:17:23,707
if you figured it
out on your own.

1397
01:17:23,707 --> 01:17:24,540
- I understand.

1398
01:17:27,343 --> 01:17:31,214
- Now, I bet you're wondering

1399
01:17:31,214 --> 01:17:33,082
if your time's almost up, huh?

1400
01:17:34,083 --> 01:17:37,086
- Well, yeah.

1401
01:17:37,086 --> 01:17:39,856
- You've done well,
Michael, you've done well.

1402
01:17:41,024 --> 01:17:44,493
And this has just
been a little taste.

1403
01:17:44,493 --> 01:17:45,328
- Taste?

1404
01:17:46,763 --> 01:17:48,431
How much more do we have?

1405
01:17:48,431 --> 01:17:50,900
- A taste of the
greatest gift of all.

1406
01:17:56,706 --> 01:17:58,808
- You know, I never
believed in you growing up.

1407
01:17:58,808 --> 01:18:01,144
My mom had to try and
convince me every single year,

1408
01:18:01,144 --> 01:18:03,579
and I just, I told
her it was impossible.

1409
01:18:05,014 --> 01:18:07,583
- Yeah, well, you sound like
every other kid nowadays.

1410
01:18:09,152 --> 01:18:10,086
That's what bugs me.

1411
01:18:10,086 --> 01:18:11,287
It's like I don't understand,

1412
01:18:11,287 --> 01:18:14,057
when did believing
become such an issue?

1413
01:18:15,391 --> 01:18:17,560
- I mean, it is a
little bit of crazy.

1414
01:18:17,560 --> 01:18:19,062
- What, it's crazy, so what?

1415
01:18:20,596 --> 01:18:24,467
I ride around the world in
a reindeer powered sleigh,

1416
01:18:24,467 --> 01:18:26,169
what else do you people want?

1417
01:18:27,570 --> 01:18:29,973
- I guess it just comes
down to the gifts, you know.

1418
01:18:29,973 --> 01:18:31,540
- That's right, all the gifts.

1419
01:18:31,540 --> 01:18:36,545
Jeez gifts, everybody thinks
I bring toys and things.

1420
01:18:41,450 --> 01:18:43,686
I wanna let you in
on a little secret.

1421
01:18:43,686 --> 01:18:47,791
Every year I give people
the greatest gift of all.

1422
01:18:47,791 --> 01:18:49,192
You wanna know what that is?

1423
01:18:50,894 --> 01:18:51,694
- Yeah.

1424
01:18:54,463 --> 01:18:57,600
- Family, your family.

1425
01:19:02,238 --> 01:19:03,840
Got to see it to believe it kid.

1426
01:19:06,976 --> 01:19:09,545
- Yeah, I hope I do.

1427
01:19:09,545 --> 01:19:10,814
- I think you just might.

1428
01:19:12,715 --> 01:19:15,451
- Gotta go, woo big day.

1429
01:19:16,619 --> 01:19:18,154
I hope everything goes
well for you Michael

1430
01:19:18,154 --> 01:19:20,356
and Merry Christmas.

1431
01:19:20,356 --> 01:19:22,325
- Where are you
going, we're in jail.

1432
01:19:22,325 --> 01:19:24,427
(laughing)
(finger snaps)

1433
01:19:24,427 --> 01:19:26,996
(gentle music)

1434
01:19:58,794 --> 01:20:01,130
So he hoped things
were back to normal

1435
01:20:01,130 --> 01:20:04,868
and he just needed to see
one person, just one person.

1436
01:20:04,868 --> 01:20:07,570
And, well, they're still kids.

1437
01:20:33,729 --> 01:20:38,734
Sasha?

1438
01:20:47,010 --> 01:20:50,779
Sasha, I can't tell you
how good it is to see you.

1439
01:20:52,481 --> 01:20:54,317
- You've only been
gone like an hour.

1440
01:20:56,119 --> 01:20:58,154
- I know, but it
doesn't feel like it.

1441
01:21:01,490 --> 01:21:02,591
- What happened to your face?

1442
01:21:02,591 --> 01:21:03,993
- I'm okay, I'm okay.

1443
01:21:03,993 --> 01:21:06,295
But look, I just want
to say I'm so sorry.

1444
01:21:06,295 --> 01:21:07,696
I'm so sorry for everything.

1445
01:21:07,696 --> 01:21:09,698
Anything I ever said
to you, I was wrong.

1446
01:21:09,698 --> 01:21:12,035
I'm always wrong,
you're always right.

1447
01:21:12,035 --> 01:21:13,536
- What's going on?

1448
01:21:13,536 --> 01:21:16,139
- Nothing, look, I've been
thinking about it a lot

1449
01:21:16,139 --> 01:21:17,406
and the truth is I'm excited.

1450
01:21:17,406 --> 01:21:18,975
I'm really, I just can't wait.

1451
01:21:20,209 --> 01:21:21,377
- What happened to you?

1452
01:21:22,345 --> 01:21:23,646
- It's a long story.

1453
01:21:26,682 --> 01:21:28,151
- Okay, well, I'm
still mad at you.

1454
01:21:28,151 --> 01:21:29,485
- Okay, that's okay.

1455
01:21:30,686 --> 01:21:33,156
And so that's how it happened.

1456
01:21:33,156 --> 01:21:35,758
That is the truth
about Santa Claus.

1457
01:21:36,926 --> 01:21:38,661
- Wait, what, I don't get it.

1458
01:21:38,661 --> 01:21:40,696
What's the truth
about Santa Claus

1459
01:21:40,696 --> 01:21:42,565
and what did he give him?

1460
01:21:42,565 --> 01:21:45,134
- Well, santa doesn't
just give you things,

1461
01:21:45,134 --> 01:21:47,670
like he gives you a gift.

1462
01:21:47,670 --> 01:21:49,973
- It sounds like he
didn't give him anything.

1463
01:21:49,973 --> 01:21:51,240
He just messed with him.

1464
01:21:51,240 --> 01:21:53,176
- Oh no, no, no, Santa
gives the best gifts

1465
01:21:53,176 --> 01:21:54,577
in the whole wide world.

1466
01:21:54,577 --> 01:21:55,979
- Like what?

1467
01:21:55,979 --> 01:21:57,146
- Like what?

1468
01:21:57,146 --> 01:21:58,114
- Daddy.

1469
01:21:58,114 --> 01:22:00,116
- Hey, how are you at home,

1470
01:22:00,116 --> 01:22:01,817
I thought you had school today?

1471
01:22:01,817 --> 01:22:03,987
- (indistinct) you
guys almost done?

1472
01:22:03,987 --> 01:22:05,921
- Can you give us
a minute, Sasha.

1473
01:22:07,690 --> 01:22:09,758
- We have a lot to
wrap up here still.

1474
01:22:13,829 --> 01:22:14,797
- One second, honey.

1475
01:22:14,797 --> 01:22:16,332
Okay, I'll see you later, go.

1476
01:22:17,300 --> 01:22:18,601
- Bye.

1477
01:22:18,601 --> 01:22:20,536
- Okay, sorry about that guys.

1478
01:22:20,536 --> 01:22:23,006
Anyway, so, where were we?

1479
01:22:24,807 --> 01:22:26,642
- Seriously after all that,

1480
01:22:26,642 --> 01:22:30,213
you're still not gonna
tell us what he gave him.

1481
01:22:30,213 --> 01:22:32,781
- I mean, look, I think
I kind of tell you guys,

1482
01:22:32,781 --> 01:22:34,150
but I guess it's just a secret

1483
01:22:34,150 --> 01:22:35,718
that you have to understand
when you're older.

1484
01:22:35,718 --> 01:22:36,919
But I can tell you this,

1485
01:22:36,919 --> 01:22:39,588
it will change
your life forever.

1486
01:22:39,588 --> 01:22:40,423
- Forever?

1487
01:22:41,590 --> 01:22:44,160
- Come on, tell us,
what's the secret?

1488
01:22:44,160 --> 01:22:47,030
- I can't just tell you guys
the secrets of Santa Claus.

1489
01:22:47,030 --> 01:22:48,397
He gets so mad at me.

1490
01:22:48,397 --> 01:22:49,965
But I can tell you this,

1491
01:22:49,965 --> 01:22:53,536
it is the best gift
that you will ever get.

1492
01:22:53,536 --> 01:22:55,104
- Better than ovulating?

1493
01:23:01,377 --> 01:23:03,946
(gentle music)

1494
01:23:15,891 --> 01:23:19,862
- Sasha has been very
honest about the fact

1495
01:23:19,862 --> 01:23:23,099
that she'd like to
have a child soon.

1496
01:23:24,533 --> 01:23:28,404
And I think you should be a
little more receptive to that.

1497
01:23:29,838 --> 01:23:34,243
- Michael, I'm sorry that
the rabbits didn't work out,

1498
01:23:35,711 --> 01:23:37,246
but maybe the rabbits really
sends the wrong message.

1499
01:23:41,550 --> 01:23:43,086
- Freezing my buns up.

1500
01:23:43,086 --> 01:23:45,888
Hey speaking of buns, I got
a donut here my son gave me,

1501
01:23:45,888 --> 01:23:46,822
you want a piece?

1502
01:23:48,324 --> 01:23:50,393
Nice chocolate donut,

1503
01:23:50,393 --> 01:23:51,927
I'm gonna get out of my pocket.

1504
01:23:53,129 --> 01:23:54,863
- And then we're
done after this.

1505
01:24:00,569 --> 01:24:01,504
- I got a donut here,

1506
01:24:01,504 --> 01:24:02,938
you want a piece of donut?

1507
01:24:02,938 --> 01:24:04,673
- [Michael] We
gotta go bob, sorry.

1508
01:24:08,077 --> 01:24:10,346
- Pretty cold last
night, huh Michael?

1509
01:24:10,346 --> 01:24:13,249
I'll tell you this, if this
keeps up I'm moving to Mexico.

1510
01:24:18,821 --> 01:24:20,489
- I can slide.

1511
01:24:20,489 --> 01:24:22,358
Head slide, leg slide.

1512
01:24:22,358 --> 01:24:24,026
(indistinct) huh,
you know what I mean?

1513
01:24:25,461 --> 01:24:28,063
- YouTube is good man, you
need to get into that, man.

1514
01:24:31,300 --> 01:24:33,636
And the foot slide
like, and pop slide,

1515
01:24:33,636 --> 01:24:36,905
got that thousands of time,
kept watching it, yeah.

1516
01:24:36,905 --> 01:24:41,510
Going long, bring me deep.

1517
01:24:41,510 --> 01:24:42,378
Cheater.

1518
01:24:43,912 --> 01:24:45,714
You pitched it weird.

1519
01:24:45,714 --> 01:24:48,784
It should've been right
there, come on man.

1520
01:24:48,784 --> 01:24:50,519
- [Man] It must be the
thunder, I don't know,

1521
01:24:50,519 --> 01:24:52,255
maybe it's the
thunder in my arm.

1522
01:24:52,255 --> 01:24:53,256
- [Man 2] That's it.

1523
01:24:54,123 --> 01:24:57,293
- In with good, out with bad.

1524
01:24:57,293 --> 01:24:59,328
- Is this supposed to hurt?

1525
01:24:59,328 --> 01:25:00,996
- I don't know, is it?

1526
01:25:04,333 --> 01:25:06,469
Oh, you might have a
concussion my brother.

1527
01:25:09,138 --> 01:25:10,005
- [Director] Cut.

1528
01:25:10,005 --> 01:25:10,839
- That's a cut.

1529
01:25:13,576 --> 01:25:14,577
- C-A-T,

1530
01:25:17,980 --> 01:25:18,814
er
- E, R.

1531
01:25:19,682 --> 01:25:20,749
- Okay, Pill.

1532
01:25:22,017 --> 01:25:24,520
- [Boy] P-I-L-L.

1533
01:25:26,322 --> 01:25:27,156
A, R.

1534
01:25:27,156 --> 01:25:28,624
- Exactly, okay.

1535
01:25:28,624 --> 01:25:32,995
And that my little friends
is how you spell Caterpillar.

1536
01:25:32,995 --> 01:25:35,831
- Everything's going to be
fine, just give me one second.

1537
01:25:37,300 --> 01:25:39,368
- I think that I
need to take a nap.

1538
01:25:39,368 --> 01:25:42,205
You think I can sleep
here, (indistinct)

1539
01:25:43,372 --> 01:25:45,441
- What, no, you
can't sleep here.

1540
01:25:46,575 --> 01:25:48,511
- What are you
like six year old,

1541
01:25:48,511 --> 01:25:50,078
how old are you, (indistinct)

1542
01:25:50,078 --> 01:25:51,314
how old are you, like 10?

1543
01:25:51,314 --> 01:25:53,216
- Six-year-old?
- Ow.

1544
01:25:53,216 --> 01:25:54,683
- Real mature Michael.

1545
01:25:54,683 --> 01:25:58,487
- Would you eat a
cheeseburger in a taco zone?

1546
01:25:59,855 --> 01:26:02,758
- Those things have no
relation whatsoever.

1547
01:26:02,758 --> 01:26:03,926
- Answer the question.

1548
01:26:03,926 --> 01:26:07,730
Would you eat a burrito
in a no taco zone?

1549
01:26:08,897 --> 01:26:10,366
Let's focus on the flyers.

1550
01:26:11,534 --> 01:26:13,936
Okay, you just put your
flyers on the ground,

1551
01:26:13,936 --> 01:26:17,973
which is also a
permanent no flyers zone,

1552
01:26:17,973 --> 01:26:19,208
which means it's littering.

1553
01:26:19,208 --> 01:26:22,077
- Well, is there
a littering zone?

1554
01:26:22,077 --> 01:26:24,046
- Yeah, it's called a trashcan.

1555
01:26:24,046 --> 01:26:28,217
Hold on a second, Maurice,
what are you doing?

1556
01:26:28,217 --> 01:26:29,552
You're just standing there.

1557
01:26:32,054 --> 01:26:33,822
You can mop more than one spot,

1558
01:26:33,822 --> 01:26:35,190
it doesn't have to
just be that one spot.

1559
01:26:35,190 --> 01:26:37,293
You know there's a
whole hallway here.

1560
01:26:38,894 --> 01:26:40,529
This is not a no mop zone,

1561
01:26:40,529 --> 01:26:43,466
it's just a, the entire
thing is a mop zone.

1562
01:26:47,736 --> 01:26:50,072
- Hey, what are you doing?

1563
01:26:50,072 --> 01:26:51,840
Get out of here, now.

1564
01:26:54,810 --> 01:26:56,512
- Don't meddle?

1565
01:26:56,512 --> 01:26:58,914
Did you just say don't meddle?

1566
01:26:58,914 --> 01:27:01,517
That thing's gonna turn to
metal if you don't use it.

1567
01:27:02,551 --> 01:27:04,720
Oh, so miserable.

1568
01:27:05,821 --> 01:27:07,256
I know it's like a
miserable (indistinct).

1569
01:27:08,524 --> 01:27:09,758
I mean, don't you think maybe

1570
01:27:09,758 --> 01:27:12,728
he should go with
the mood, you know.

1571
01:27:12,728 --> 01:27:15,664
So I said, if you stop
asking so many questions

1572
01:27:15,664 --> 01:27:17,400
then you will stop
getting (indistinct).

1573
01:27:21,136 --> 01:27:22,738
Exactly, ignorance is bliss.

1574
01:27:22,738 --> 01:27:24,106
Oh wait, hold on, hold up.

1575
01:27:24,106 --> 01:27:25,574
Michael, Michael, do not go.

1576
01:27:25,574 --> 01:27:28,243
- And just look up my car
insurance information, please.

1577
01:27:29,778 --> 01:27:30,613
- What?

1578
01:27:31,847 --> 01:27:33,282
Huh?

1579
01:27:33,282 --> 01:27:35,551
- Can you look up my car
insurance information, please.

1580
01:27:37,753 --> 01:27:38,587
- Huh?

1581
01:27:39,822 --> 01:27:44,460
- Oh no, you have a
lot to learn, Michael.

1582
01:27:44,460 --> 01:27:46,895
(indistinct)

1583
01:27:49,298 --> 01:27:51,600
Come on, let's get some cookies.

1584
01:27:51,600 --> 01:27:53,369
Cookie, cookie, cookie, woo.

1585
01:27:53,369 --> 01:27:55,738
Yeah, you're worse
than my grandmother.

1586
01:27:56,939 --> 01:27:58,106
She was the original Grinch,

1587
01:27:58,106 --> 01:27:59,141
did you know that?

1588
01:28:00,509 --> 01:28:02,811
That's where you got
the whole story from.

1589
01:28:02,811 --> 01:28:06,549
Helga, Helga Sockwater,
that was her name.

1590
01:28:06,549 --> 01:28:10,553
Oh man, she was
Chelsea, Massachusetts.

1591
01:28:10,553 --> 01:28:12,054
Terrible woman.

1592
01:28:12,054 --> 01:28:14,022
Just every Christmas.

1593
01:28:14,022 --> 01:28:17,660
What's this, what's
that, where are we going?

1594
01:28:17,660 --> 01:28:20,128
I mean, we moved her
to a mountain top.

1595
01:28:20,128 --> 01:28:21,397
She grew whiskers.

1596
01:28:21,397 --> 01:28:23,298
Then somewhere in the
story made her green,

1597
01:28:23,298 --> 01:28:25,501
blah, blah, blah, blah blah.

1598
01:28:26,702 --> 01:28:30,873
- Did I tell you to
stay away from schools?

1599
01:28:30,873 --> 01:28:31,974
- Yeah, you did.

1600
01:28:34,577 --> 01:28:35,644
- Hi Michael.

1601
01:28:36,912 --> 01:28:39,114
- Help, if he
thought I needed help

1602
01:28:39,114 --> 01:28:41,316
why did he send me to therapy?

1603
01:28:41,316 --> 01:28:43,085
What are you looking at?

1604
01:28:43,085 --> 01:28:44,219
I didn't drive here.

1605
01:28:46,021 --> 01:28:47,656
I'm a really nice guy.

1606
01:28:47,656 --> 01:28:50,726
I really, I mean, it's just
that she never warned me

1607
01:28:50,726 --> 01:28:52,294
that the needle was coming in.

1608
01:28:53,228 --> 01:28:54,162
Last I checked,

1609
01:28:54,162 --> 01:28:55,464
you're supposed to warn a guy.

1610
01:28:55,464 --> 01:28:58,367
I mean, she didn't do
that, right, right?

1611
01:29:00,736 --> 01:29:02,738
- Like I was saying, the mall.

1612
01:29:04,507 --> 01:29:07,342
Why do people only go in
December, it's so dumb.

1613
01:29:11,079 --> 01:29:13,582
(dog barking)

1614
01:29:18,286 --> 01:29:21,490
- I will find out how
tall you are, believe me.

1615
01:29:26,328 --> 01:29:27,696
- Hey, back off buddy.

1616
01:29:27,696 --> 01:29:28,631
- No, no, you don't understand,

1617
01:29:28,631 --> 01:29:30,399
we really need to (indistinct),

1618
01:29:30,399 --> 01:29:32,000
we really need to talk to Santa.

1619
01:29:33,201 --> 01:29:34,637
I don't know,

1620
01:29:34,637 --> 01:29:36,071
maybe I'm not Christmas-y
enough or something.

1621
01:29:36,071 --> 01:29:38,641
- Oh, that's it, maybe you're
not Christmas-y enough.

1622
01:29:38,641 --> 01:29:40,308
What's wrong with you?

1623
01:29:40,308 --> 01:29:42,244
- I don't know.

1624
01:29:42,244 --> 01:29:44,447
- Christmas isn't about
whose Christmas-y.

1625
01:29:46,982 --> 01:29:48,917
- Is this the best daddy.

1626
01:29:48,917 --> 01:29:50,085
- How are you?

1627
01:29:51,487 --> 01:29:53,722
All right, I'll see
you in just a second.

1628
01:29:53,722 --> 01:29:54,557
- Bye.

1629
01:29:56,959 --> 01:29:59,261
(indistinct)

1630
01:29:59,261 --> 01:30:01,329
- We'll just be a second, okay.

1631
01:30:01,329 --> 01:30:02,431
I'll see you in a bit.

1632
01:30:04,166 --> 01:30:05,501
- [Antonio] Cut.

1633
01:30:05,501 --> 01:30:06,301
- Cut.

1634
01:30:08,370 --> 01:30:10,939
(upbeat music)

1635
01:30:18,781 --> 01:30:19,915
* My Christmas wasn't merry

1636
01:30:19,915 --> 01:30:21,383
* And that's the fact

1637
01:30:21,383 --> 01:30:23,652
* But I wouldn't get through
with my life intact *

1638
01:30:23,652 --> 01:30:28,323
* But then Santa came around
and show me what I lacked *

1639
01:30:28,323 --> 01:30:30,793
* That's the truth
about Santa Claus *

1640
01:30:30,793 --> 01:30:33,428
* Thought I was perfect,
never saw the flaws *

1641
01:30:33,428 --> 01:30:35,964
* But now I'm feeling
really great because *

1642
01:30:35,964 --> 01:30:39,902
* I know the truth
about Santa Claus *

1643
01:30:39,902 --> 01:30:42,337
* Too much naughty
not enough nice *

1644
01:30:42,337 --> 01:30:44,740
* That's the way I acted
and I paid the price *

1645
01:30:44,740 --> 01:30:49,044
* But Santa changed it
all with some key advice *

1646
01:30:49,044 --> 01:30:51,647
* And that's the truth
about Santa Claus *

1647
01:30:51,647 --> 01:30:54,282
* Thought I was happy
but I never was *

1648
01:30:54,282 --> 01:30:56,885
* Now I'm feeling
really great because *

1649
01:30:56,885 --> 01:31:00,055
* I learnt the truth
about Santa Claus *

1650
01:31:00,055 --> 01:31:03,058
* Well, he's got a lot of
reindeers down the sleigh *

1651
01:31:03,058 --> 01:31:05,460
* But that's not the
reason that he may my day *

1652
01:31:05,460 --> 01:31:06,495
* He say you don't know squat

1653
01:31:06,495 --> 01:31:08,330
* You got a lot to learn

1654
01:31:08,330 --> 01:31:09,397
* There's more to life
that what you got *

1655
01:31:09,397 --> 01:31:10,933
* It's what you earn

1656
01:31:10,933 --> 01:31:12,034
* You want the
key to happiness *

1657
01:31:12,034 --> 01:31:13,502
* Well, here's the trick

1658
01:31:13,502 --> 01:31:16,004
* Stick with your family
through thick and thin *

1659
01:31:16,004 --> 01:31:20,342
* That's the lesson that I
learn from old St. Nick *

1660
01:31:20,342 --> 01:31:22,945
* And that's the truth
about Santa Claus *

1661
01:31:22,945 --> 01:31:25,548
* Thought I was perfect,
I never saw the flaws *

1662
01:31:25,548 --> 01:31:28,116
* Now I'm really
feeling great because *

1663
01:31:28,116 --> 01:31:30,753
* I learnt the truth
about Santa Claus *

1664
01:31:30,753 --> 01:31:33,388
* Here there's the truth
about Santa Claus *

1665
01:31:33,388 --> 01:31:35,924
* Thought I was happy
but I never was *

1666
01:31:35,924 --> 01:31:38,594
(indistinct)

1667
01:31:38,594 --> 01:31:41,263
* I learnt the truth
about Santa Claus *

1668
01:31:41,263 --> 01:31:43,866
* There's a truth
about Santa Claus *

1669
01:31:43,866 --> 01:31:46,434
* Thought I was perfect,
never saw the flaws *

1670
01:31:46,434 --> 01:31:49,104
* Now I'm felling
really great because *

1671
01:31:49,104 --> 01:31:53,508
* I know the truth
about Santa Claus *



