WEBVTT FILE 1 00:00:02.000 --> 00:00:07.000 Downloaded from YTS.MX 2 00:00:08.000 --> 00:00:13.000 Official YIFY movies site: YTS.MX 3 00:00:19.924 --> 00:00:20.757 ♪ Well my daddy always said, ♪ 4 00:00:20.757 --> 00:00:21.590 ♪ Son you'll have fun when you're drinkin' ♪ 5 00:00:21.590 --> 00:00:22.423 ♪ With your friends ♪ 6 00:00:22.423 --> 00:00:23.256 ♪ And everyone takes for granted ♪ 7 00:00:23.256 --> 00:00:27.956 ♪ These are the best years of your life. ♪ 8 00:00:27.956 --> 00:00:29.312 ♪ And you know high school sure seemed ♪ 9 00:00:29.312 --> 00:00:30.145 ♪ Like a joke ♪ 10 00:00:30.145 --> 00:00:32.145 ♪ When I got to college, I was on my own ♪ 11 00:00:32.145 --> 00:00:35.956 ♪ Trying to find the best drink ♪ ♪ Specials every night. ♪ 12 00:00:35.956 --> 00:00:36.789 ♪ And after many nights ♪ 13 00:00:36.789 --> 00:00:38.244 ♪ With the San Marcos Federalies ♪ 14 00:00:38.244 --> 00:00:39.185 ♪ Well, I finally figured out ♪ 15 00:00:39.185 --> 00:00:41.065 ♪ That I should probably keep my mouth shut ♪ 16 00:00:41.065 --> 00:00:43.932 ♪ Instead of telling 'em what I thought. ♪ 17 00:00:43.932 --> 00:00:46.133 ♪ You know, I paid the county for many months ♪ 18 00:00:46.133 --> 00:00:48.609 ♪ Hell, I think I even paid ♪ ♪ The Christmas bonuses once ♪ 19 00:00:48.609 --> 00:00:49.442 ♪ How I learned what students loans ♪ 20 00:00:49.442 --> 00:00:52.114 ♪ Were all about. ♪ 21 00:00:52.114 --> 00:00:54.058 ♪ And it's Taco Bell for breakfast ♪ 22 00:00:54.058 --> 00:00:56.471 ♪ And for lunch it's Keystone Light. ♪ 23 00:00:56.471 --> 00:00:57.875 ♪ I'll be out of bed by sundown ♪ 24 00:00:57.875 --> 00:01:00.170 ♪ Make the party just on time. ♪ 25 00:01:00.170 --> 00:01:01.973 ♪ Probation's in the mornin' ♪ 26 00:01:01.973 --> 00:01:06.973 ♪ Herbal tea will do me right. ♪ 27 00:01:07.750 --> 00:01:10.509 ♪ Look what I learned ♪ 28 00:01:10.509 --> 00:01:15.509 ♪ In my college life. ♪ 29 00:01:18.790 --> 00:01:21.075 ♪ Well I decided to major in country music ♪ 30 00:01:21.075 --> 00:01:22.971 ♪ That's when I found out that I couldn't use ♪ 31 00:01:22.971 --> 00:01:24.576 ♪ The thirty hours that I managed ♪ 32 00:01:24.576 --> 00:01:26.744 ♪ to log last year. ♪ 33 00:01:26.744 --> 00:01:28.956 ♪ And anthropology sure seemed cool to me ♪ 34 00:01:28.956 --> 00:01:31.020 ♪ But it wasn't included in my degree ♪ 35 00:01:31.020 --> 00:01:34.870 ♪ And that's when I decided ♪ ♪ To study domestic beer. ♪ 36 00:01:34.870 --> 00:01:36.963 ♪ Shinerbach it was good to me ♪ 37 00:01:36.963 --> 00:01:38.980 ♪ Hell, it treated me better than history ♪ 38 00:01:38.980 --> 00:01:40.496 ♪ And that little blonde I met ♪ 39 00:01:40.496 --> 00:01:42.829 ♪ in the science lab. ♪ 40 00:01:42.829 --> 00:01:44.932 ♪ And fraternity life was a change of pace ♪ 41 00:01:44.932 --> 00:01:47.082 ♪ And it taught me how to get shit faced ♪ 42 00:01:47.082 --> 00:01:52.082 ♪ And break my failing grades to good ol' dad. ♪ 43 00:01:52.850 --> 00:01:53.683 - Why can't we just go to dinner 44 00:01:53.683 --> 00:01:54.723 on Tuesday night? 45 00:01:55.720 --> 00:01:57.380 I told you, I was on call this weekend. 46 00:01:57.380 --> 00:01:58.350 I can't go on Sunday. 47 00:01:58.350 --> 00:01:59.977 - Cody, I don't believe you're on call. 48 00:01:59.977 --> 00:02:01.450 - I have the same job I had 49 00:02:01.450 --> 00:02:02.470 when we were together, Charlotte. 50 00:02:02.470 --> 00:02:03.883 I'm on call some weekends. 51 00:02:05.670 --> 00:02:07.360 - Do you remember the time I caught you lying 52 00:02:07.360 --> 00:02:08.690 about being on call? 53 00:02:08.690 --> 00:02:09.930 - Oh come on, that was just once 54 00:02:09.930 --> 00:02:10.763 and because you tried to drag me 55 00:02:10.763 --> 00:02:11.990 to that stupid baby shower 56 00:02:11.990 --> 00:02:13.270 on a Sunday in January. 57 00:02:13.270 --> 00:02:15.182 - Well once is one time too many. 58 00:02:15.182 --> 00:02:16.015 - Do you know what happens 59 00:02:16.015 --> 00:02:18.180 on Sundays in January, Charlotte? 60 00:02:18.180 --> 00:02:19.540 - Well Becky said that Rick went 61 00:02:19.540 --> 00:02:20.520 to a baby shower. 62 00:02:20.520 --> 00:02:22.370 - Way off Charlotte! 63 00:02:22.370 --> 00:02:24.783 It is football playoff season! 64 00:02:25.960 --> 00:02:26.960 Becky's husband, Rick. 65 00:02:26.960 --> 00:02:29.410 - And they are still happily married, by the way. 66 00:02:29.410 --> 00:02:31.070 Probably because Rick doesn't have some 67 00:02:31.070 --> 00:02:33.083 sick sports obsession like you do. 68 00:02:34.120 --> 00:02:35.753 Football, football, football! 69 00:02:35.753 --> 00:02:37.520 What is football, Cody? 70 00:02:37.520 --> 00:02:39.410 - Football is only the greatest game 71 00:02:39.410 --> 00:02:40.630 ever played, Charlotte. 72 00:02:40.630 --> 00:02:42.540 - [Charlotte] You don't play, you watch. 73 00:02:42.540 --> 00:02:43.990 - [Cody] Watching is a sport. 74 00:02:43.990 --> 00:02:45.862 - What did we do for my birthday last year? 75 00:02:45.862 --> 00:02:47.570 - Don't remember. 76 00:02:47.570 --> 00:02:49.590 - That's because I went out with my friends 77 00:02:49.590 --> 00:02:52.300 so you could stay home and watch the NFL combine. 78 00:02:52.300 --> 00:02:54.270 - Scouting new talent is important. 79 00:02:54.270 --> 00:02:56.060 - And what about our anniversary? 80 00:02:56.060 --> 00:02:59.103 What did we do? Shh, let me save you some time. 81 00:03:00.540 --> 00:03:01.730 Nothing. 82 00:03:01.730 --> 00:03:04.103 You stayed home and watched football all day. 83 00:03:04.103 --> 00:03:05.380 - That is not fair. 84 00:03:05.380 --> 00:03:07.340 I tried to take you out on our anniversary. 85 00:03:07.340 --> 00:03:09.210 - You gave me a one hour window 86 00:03:09.210 --> 00:03:11.650 between the late afternoon game 87 00:03:11.650 --> 00:03:13.260 and the Sunday night game. 88 00:03:13.260 --> 00:03:14.890 Real romantic, Cody. 89 00:03:14.890 --> 00:03:17.420 - Oh my God, he's gonna freaking hate me 90 00:03:17.420 --> 00:03:19.150 when he sees this. 91 00:03:19.150 --> 00:03:20.530 - One day, you're gonna realize 92 00:03:20.530 --> 00:03:22.020 that you should spend less time 93 00:03:22.020 --> 00:03:24.050 on the greatest game ever played, 94 00:03:24.050 --> 00:03:25.690 and more time on the greatest thing 95 00:03:25.690 --> 00:03:27.780 that ever happened to you. 96 00:03:27.780 --> 00:03:29.310 By the way, that's me. 97 00:03:30.471 --> 00:03:32.571 - So that's no to dinner on Tuesday night. 98 00:03:33.460 --> 00:03:36.510 - That's a hell no to dinner on Tuesday night. 99 00:03:36.510 --> 00:03:39.143 - Always fighting with each other, that's crazy. 100 00:03:39.143 --> 00:03:39.976 - He loves her. 101 00:03:40.970 --> 00:03:42.300 - What are you doing? 102 00:03:42.300 --> 00:03:43.133 - Don't see you see it? 103 00:03:43.133 --> 00:03:45.840 - Anyway, oh here he comes, here he comes. 104 00:03:45.840 --> 00:03:46.860 Look over there. 105 00:03:46.860 --> 00:03:48.180 - Vince Ryan? 106 00:03:48.180 --> 00:03:49.890 - Ew, is that Summer? 107 00:03:49.890 --> 00:03:50.930 - She's hondo crackers. 108 00:03:50.930 --> 00:03:52.810 We don't wanna have anything to do with that. 109 00:03:52.810 --> 00:03:53.933 - Hm, where to look. 110 00:03:55.300 --> 00:03:57.054 Decisions, decisions. 111 00:03:57.054 --> 00:03:59.080 - Who you talking too? - She would not go to dinner with me unless, 112 00:03:59.080 --> 00:04:00.590 get this, there's a freakin' game on! 113 00:04:00.590 --> 00:04:01.570 Do you believe that? 114 00:04:01.570 --> 00:04:03.090 - Because she's right. 115 00:04:03.090 --> 00:04:04.750 Football is dumb and immature. 116 00:04:04.750 --> 00:04:05.850 - You're dumb and immature. 117 00:04:05.850 --> 00:04:07.620 - Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. 118 00:04:07.620 --> 00:04:08.777 Who's that? 119 00:04:08.777 --> 00:04:10.513 - I'm not sure but , uh, 120 00:04:11.378 --> 00:04:13.140 I don't like the way that kid's looking at me. 121 00:04:13.140 --> 00:04:15.890 - Well, you are wearing a gi to the park. 122 00:04:15.890 --> 00:04:17.810 - I just came from training. 123 00:04:17.810 --> 00:04:20.020 - What like, potty training or? 124 00:04:20.020 --> 00:04:21.390 I don't know if you know this or not, 125 00:04:21.390 --> 00:04:22.820 but you're, I don't know, 126 00:04:22.820 --> 00:04:25.240 O and one and almost 40. 127 00:04:25.240 --> 00:04:27.290 Ooh, I've gotta get that on Snap. 128 00:04:27.290 --> 00:04:28.910 - And more importantly, 129 00:04:28.910 --> 00:04:31.260 junior is still giving me the evil eye. 130 00:04:31.260 --> 00:04:33.620 - I told you to stop it, come on. 131 00:04:33.620 --> 00:04:34.540 - Knock it off. 132 00:04:34.540 --> 00:04:36.070 Seriously, I wanna talk to his mom. 133 00:04:36.070 --> 00:04:37.790 - You're setting yourself up for a snap trap 134 00:04:37.790 --> 00:04:38.850 if you do, just sayin'. 135 00:04:38.850 --> 00:04:42.070 - Near parks, churches, grocery stores. 136 00:04:42.070 --> 00:04:44.930 That's where you meet the grade A honey bait. 137 00:04:44.930 --> 00:04:45.763 - Del, I don't like the way 138 00:04:45.763 --> 00:04:47.870 that kid's looking at me still. 139 00:04:47.870 --> 00:04:48.830 - Sorry about that. 140 00:04:48.830 --> 00:04:49.890 - That's okay. 141 00:04:49.890 --> 00:04:51.330 Next time you should be more careful though, 142 00:04:51.330 --> 00:04:53.020 'cause I coulda been a crazy lady. 143 00:04:53.020 --> 00:04:55.010 - Don't start none, won't be none. 144 00:04:55.010 --> 00:04:55.910 - What's his name? 145 00:04:56.910 --> 00:04:57.790 - His name's Jack. 146 00:04:57.790 --> 00:04:59.310 He's a really good kid 147 00:04:59.310 --> 00:05:01.150 most of the time. 148 00:05:01.150 --> 00:05:02.623 Except for today, apparently. 149 00:05:04.014 --> 00:05:06.200 (sighs) What about you? You have one over here? 150 00:05:06.200 --> 00:05:07.323 - That one over there. 151 00:05:08.907 --> 00:05:11.080 - I'm Lee, it's nice to meet you. 152 00:05:11.080 --> 00:05:14.020 - Cody. Why don't we go grab lunch? 153 00:05:14.020 --> 00:05:15.694 We can continue this adult conversation. 154 00:05:15.694 --> 00:05:16.590 - I don't know about that because I've been 155 00:05:16.590 --> 00:05:18.190 teaching Jack about stranger danger, 156 00:05:18.190 --> 00:05:19.910 and I don't think that would be a very good 157 00:05:19.910 --> 00:05:21.130 scenario for him to see. 158 00:05:21.130 --> 00:05:23.560 Just up and leaving with a stranger. 159 00:05:23.560 --> 00:05:25.370 - I saw you looking at me over there. 160 00:05:25.370 --> 00:05:27.480 This is a black tip belt. 161 00:05:27.480 --> 00:05:29.330 That means I'm a bad, bad man. 162 00:05:29.330 --> 00:05:30.590 I wouldn't look at me like that anymore 163 00:05:30.590 --> 00:05:31.423 if I were you. 164 00:05:31.423 --> 00:05:32.256 You got me? 165 00:05:32.256 --> 00:05:33.166 - You don't look so tough. 166 00:05:33.166 --> 00:05:34.850 Besides, you looked at me first, turd. 167 00:05:34.850 --> 00:05:35.683 - What'd you say? 168 00:05:35.683 --> 00:05:37.240 - I said the turd, turd. 169 00:05:37.240 --> 00:05:38.840 - Look, you little punk kid, 170 00:05:38.840 --> 00:05:40.270 if I weren't so much bigger than you, 171 00:05:40.270 --> 00:05:41.140 - You mean older? 172 00:05:41.140 --> 00:05:42.270 Oldie McOldsen. 173 00:05:42.270 --> 00:05:43.550 - Why don't you shut your face hole? 174 00:05:43.550 --> 00:05:45.600 Run back over there to your super hot mom. 175 00:05:45.600 --> 00:05:47.330 - Don't talk about my mom. 176 00:05:47.330 --> 00:05:48.880 - This belt means I can talk about whoever 177 00:05:48.880 --> 00:05:50.560 I wanna talk about, you scared? 178 00:05:50.560 --> 00:05:51.393 - No. 179 00:05:51.393 --> 00:05:52.226 - You better be. 180 00:05:52.226 --> 00:05:53.059 - Oh yeah? 181 00:05:53.059 --> 00:05:55.820 - Yeah. (grunts and groans) 182 00:05:55.820 --> 00:05:56.883 - What is he doing? 183 00:05:58.260 --> 00:05:59.236 Oh my God. 184 00:05:59.236 --> 00:06:00.069 - Caine? 185 00:06:00.069 --> 00:06:02.329 Caine! - [Lee] What is going on here, hey? 186 00:06:02.329 --> 00:06:03.363 - [Jack] He started it. 187 00:06:03.363 --> 00:06:04.196 - [Lee] Geez, serious? 188 00:06:04.196 --> 00:06:05.953 (laughing) 189 00:06:05.953 --> 00:06:07.054 - Man, come on! 190 00:06:07.054 --> 00:06:08.720 - He started it. - No I didn't. 191 00:06:08.720 --> 00:06:09.553 - What is wrong with you? 192 00:06:09.553 --> 00:06:10.386 He's a kid. 193 00:06:10.386 --> 00:06:11.320 - Nice! 194 00:06:11.320 --> 00:06:13.513 I see why your kid is so strong. 195 00:06:14.626 --> 00:06:15.459 (slaps face) 196 00:06:15.459 --> 00:06:16.292 - What is wrong with you? 197 00:06:16.292 --> 00:06:17.125 - Geez. 198 00:06:18.410 --> 00:06:19.517 - You know, you're a real jerk, 199 00:06:19.517 --> 00:06:21.518 trying to mess with a kid like this. 200 00:06:21.518 --> 00:06:23.400 Come on, come on. 201 00:06:23.400 --> 00:06:24.690 - Come on Caine, what's wrong with you? 202 00:06:24.690 --> 00:06:25.540 - Come on, man. 203 00:06:25.540 --> 00:06:27.000 Dude, I was just trying to show him 204 00:06:27.000 --> 00:06:28.470 what happens when you met with a bad 205 00:06:28.470 --> 00:06:30.020 mamma jamma, it's called parenting. 206 00:06:30.020 --> 00:06:31.733 - You're not a bad man. - Yes I am. 207 00:06:31.733 --> 00:06:33.140 Sometimes there's strength in restraint. 208 00:06:33.140 --> 00:06:34.806 - Excuse me. - What is it? 209 00:06:34.806 --> 00:06:35.729 - That lady over there says you tried 210 00:06:35.729 --> 00:06:36.562 to assault her? 211 00:06:36.562 --> 00:06:37.795 - Look at me! 212 00:06:37.795 --> 00:06:39.660 I'm an MMA master. 213 00:06:39.660 --> 00:06:41.230 If I tried to assault somebody, 214 00:06:41.230 --> 00:06:42.640 they'd be dead, D-E-D. 215 00:06:42.640 --> 00:06:43.660 - You threaten her? 216 00:06:43.660 --> 00:06:46.560 - Come on, that witch and her mutt started it. 217 00:06:46.560 --> 00:06:48.390 I didn't do anything. 218 00:06:48.390 --> 00:06:50.390 - That witch is my sister. 219 00:06:50.390 --> 00:06:51.223 - Figures. 220 00:06:51.223 --> 00:06:52.056 - Yeah, I'm taking you in. 221 00:06:52.056 --> 00:06:53.230 - Your whole family are assholes. 222 00:06:53.230 --> 00:06:55.003 Asshole, asshole, asshole. 223 00:06:56.269 --> 00:06:57.102 - Turn around, please. 224 00:06:57.102 --> 00:06:58.768 - [Caine] Oh, come on. - Excuse me, gentlemen, 225 00:06:58.768 --> 00:06:59.601 I saw everything. 226 00:06:59.601 --> 00:07:01.187 Kevin Vaughn, attorney at law. 227 00:07:01.187 --> 00:07:03.480 (dramatic music) 228 00:07:03.480 --> 00:07:04.313 - All right, why do you think 229 00:07:04.313 --> 00:07:08.010 you would be a good fit as the new director 230 00:07:08.010 --> 00:07:10.050 here at the University of Las Colinas? 231 00:07:10.050 --> 00:07:12.660 - I am highly passionate 232 00:07:12.660 --> 00:07:14.510 about not starving to death, 233 00:07:14.510 --> 00:07:16.800 and I think this job would allow me 234 00:07:16.800 --> 00:07:18.150 to accomplish that. 235 00:07:18.150 --> 00:07:20.270 - Yeah, I, I saw that on your resume. 236 00:07:20.270 --> 00:07:23.000 And your goals, you have, uh, 237 00:07:23.000 --> 00:07:24.653 making fat stacks. 238 00:07:27.090 --> 00:07:27.923 Yo. 239 00:07:28.850 --> 00:07:29.683 - Uh huh. 240 00:07:29.683 --> 00:07:31.260 - How are your PowerPoint skills? 241 00:07:31.260 --> 00:07:34.488 - I excel at them. 242 00:07:34.488 --> 00:07:36.483 - (chuckles) Microsoft pun? 243 00:07:37.550 --> 00:07:38.593 - Word. 244 00:07:41.594 --> 00:07:44.480 - (sighs) Alright, so do you have any hobbies 245 00:07:44.480 --> 00:07:45.313 outside of work? 246 00:07:45.313 --> 00:07:50.240 - Actually, uh, I enjoy minding my own business. 247 00:07:52.400 --> 00:07:54.730 Perhaps, you should try it? 248 00:07:54.730 --> 00:07:56.237 - I see. 249 00:07:56.237 --> 00:07:59.160 Look, now one of the things that you're gonna 250 00:07:59.160 --> 00:08:01.660 be required to do on your job 251 00:08:01.660 --> 00:08:05.020 is to recruit new students here 252 00:08:05.020 --> 00:08:07.350 at the University of Las Colinas. 253 00:08:07.350 --> 00:08:09.750 So how are you gonna accomplish that? 254 00:08:09.750 --> 00:08:11.910 - One of my hobbies is magic. 255 00:08:11.910 --> 00:08:13.780 And I play this character called 256 00:08:13.780 --> 00:08:15.870 The Great Randito. 257 00:08:15.870 --> 00:08:16.730 Everybody loves him, 258 00:08:16.730 --> 00:08:19.700 and I think he'll be a highly effective 259 00:08:19.700 --> 00:08:21.093 tool in recruitment. 260 00:08:22.420 --> 00:08:26.545 Did you know that the Earth is actually flat? 261 00:08:26.545 --> 00:08:28.604 (dramatic music) 262 00:08:28.604 --> 00:08:30.260 - It is, huh? 263 00:08:30.260 --> 00:08:32.340 - You should teach a course on that because they 264 00:08:32.340 --> 00:08:33.564 don't want you to know the truth. 265 00:08:33.564 --> 00:08:36.314 (dramatic music) 266 00:08:37.500 --> 00:08:39.015 - Who, who is they? 267 00:08:39.015 --> 00:08:41.765 (dramatic music) 268 00:08:44.087 --> 00:08:44.920 - Them. 269 00:08:48.728 --> 00:08:50.403 - The Great Randiti. 270 00:08:53.480 --> 00:08:54.313 Flat Earth? 271 00:08:56.450 --> 00:08:59.250 Well, I've heard enough. 272 00:08:59.250 --> 00:09:03.070 - So, uh, I guess this is where you tell me 273 00:09:03.070 --> 00:09:05.850 that you have other candidates to interview? 274 00:09:05.850 --> 00:09:09.970 - No, um, this is the part where 275 00:09:11.051 --> 00:09:12.150 I offer you a job. 276 00:09:12.150 --> 00:09:13.223 - Wow! 277 00:09:14.320 --> 00:09:17.483 Gee, I don't know, um, 278 00:09:19.610 --> 00:09:22.008 how many vacation days do I get? 279 00:09:22.008 --> 00:09:24.758 (dramatic music) 280 00:09:27.170 --> 00:09:29.810 - Two words, guys, fake IDs. 281 00:09:29.810 --> 00:09:30.643 - Yeah, but how do we even know 282 00:09:30.643 --> 00:09:31.830 that these IDs are legit? 283 00:09:31.830 --> 00:09:33.730 - Dude, I'm a businessman, okay? 284 00:09:33.730 --> 00:09:34.870 Street cred is important to me. 285 00:09:34.870 --> 00:09:36.640 Can't find a guy like me on Yelp. 286 00:09:36.640 --> 00:09:37.900 - Why are they so expensive then? 287 00:09:37.900 --> 00:09:41.633 - Quality, quality costs money, all right? 288 00:09:41.633 --> 00:09:43.750 - Yeah, but that's a lot of freakin' money, man. 289 00:09:43.750 --> 00:09:45.900 - Imagine this, Friday night, 290 00:09:45.900 --> 00:09:47.600 cheerleaders want wine coolers, 291 00:09:47.600 --> 00:09:49.600 who are they gonna go to? 292 00:09:49.600 --> 00:09:51.030 Anyone? 293 00:09:51.030 --> 00:09:52.560 Anyone, Bueller? 294 00:09:52.560 --> 00:09:53.510 You two knuckleheads, 295 00:09:53.510 --> 00:09:55.560 the guys with the fake IDs. 296 00:09:55.560 --> 00:09:56.723 The men with the fake IDs. 297 00:09:56.723 --> 00:09:58.410 - All right, all right, fine, let's do it. 298 00:09:58.410 --> 00:09:59.243 How does it work? 299 00:09:59.243 --> 00:10:00.076 - I need to see your bills. 300 00:10:00.076 --> 00:10:02.710 I'm gonna make sure the FBI hasn't marked those bills, okay? 301 00:10:02.710 --> 00:10:03.543 - FBI? 302 00:10:03.543 --> 00:10:04.376 - The FBI. 303 00:10:04.376 --> 00:10:05.360 The feds are trying to put guys like me 304 00:10:05.360 --> 00:10:06.700 outta business all the time. 305 00:10:06.700 --> 00:10:08.330 So I'm gonna take the bills to my car, 306 00:10:08.330 --> 00:10:10.310 scan them, if everything checks out, 307 00:10:10.310 --> 00:10:12.100 go to my print shop, 308 00:10:12.100 --> 00:10:14.140 I'll print your IDs, you'll be on your way, okay? 309 00:10:14.140 --> 00:10:15.117 We gonna do this or not? 310 00:10:15.117 --> 00:10:16.533 I got two hours. 311 00:10:18.970 --> 00:10:20.163 525 a piece. 312 00:10:22.590 --> 00:10:23.423 Thank you. 313 00:10:24.427 --> 00:10:25.500 - Wait, wait, wait. 314 00:10:25.500 --> 00:10:26.750 Should we really let him walk off 315 00:10:26.750 --> 00:10:27.583 with the money? 316 00:10:27.583 --> 00:10:28.500 - Yes, dude, think about it. 317 00:10:28.500 --> 00:10:30.190 Walking into the parties with the prettiest girls 318 00:10:30.190 --> 00:10:31.300 on our arms? 319 00:10:31.300 --> 00:10:33.030 Those IDs are the key. 320 00:10:33.030 --> 00:10:34.500 And besides, when we go to college 321 00:10:34.500 --> 00:10:35.400 we can use them, too. 322 00:10:35.400 --> 00:10:37.180 - Big brain Dwayne, right here, okay? 323 00:10:37.180 --> 00:10:39.000 These are more than just fake IDs. 324 00:10:39.000 --> 00:10:41.300 Think of this as an investment in your future. 325 00:10:41.300 --> 00:10:42.510 Okay, stay right here. 326 00:10:42.510 --> 00:10:43.460 I'll be right back. 327 00:10:44.980 --> 00:10:47.397 (rock music) 328 00:11:01.232 --> 00:11:04.149 (tires screeching) 329 00:11:11.888 --> 00:11:15.671 (vocalizing to himself) 330 00:11:15.671 --> 00:11:18.243 - That guy's gonna get his own. 331 00:11:18.243 --> 00:11:19.847 (rock music) 332 00:11:19.847 --> 00:11:22.276 ♪ If you got the money honey ♪ 333 00:11:22.276 --> 00:11:25.263 ♪ I've got your fake IDs. ♪ 334 00:11:25.263 --> 00:11:27.002 - Uncle Shawn, some guy just freakin' robbed 335 00:11:27.002 --> 00:11:29.050 me and Ric of all of our money. 336 00:11:29.050 --> 00:11:31.299 (police siren blaring) 337 00:11:31.299 --> 00:11:33.716 (rock music) 338 00:11:40.572 --> 00:11:42.227 - Did I do something wrong officer? 339 00:11:42.227 --> 00:11:43.670 - It's that you match a description of a suspect 340 00:11:43.670 --> 00:11:45.180 that stole some money from a couple of kids. 341 00:11:45.180 --> 00:11:46.780 - No, I've been working all day. 342 00:11:46.780 --> 00:11:47.780 - What's in the bag? 343 00:11:50.650 --> 00:11:51.730 - Sir, you're gonna need a warrant 344 00:11:51.730 --> 00:11:52.690 to touch my sack. 345 00:11:52.690 --> 00:11:53.590 - It looks like money, sir. 346 00:11:53.590 --> 00:11:54.950 You wanna step outta the car? 347 00:11:54.950 --> 00:11:55.910 - Okay, look, it's money. 348 00:11:55.910 --> 00:11:57.310 - Would it happen to be a thousand 349 00:11:57.310 --> 00:11:58.890 and 50 dollars, would it? 350 00:11:58.890 --> 00:12:00.623 - Yes, yes, I had some kids 351 00:12:00.623 --> 00:12:02.350 that wanted to buy fake IDs, 352 00:12:02.350 --> 00:12:03.410 and I was about to turn the money 353 00:12:03.410 --> 00:12:04.800 into the proper authorities, 354 00:12:04.800 --> 00:12:06.740 and now look, here you are. 355 00:12:06.740 --> 00:12:08.960 - Well, one of those kids happens to be my nephew 356 00:12:08.960 --> 00:12:11.060 who said you stole the money from them. 357 00:12:11.060 --> 00:12:12.900 - No, they handed it to me. 358 00:12:12.900 --> 00:12:13.910 Now who are you gonna believe? 359 00:12:13.910 --> 00:12:15.640 Me or a group of delinquents trying 360 00:12:15.640 --> 00:12:16.810 to buy fake IDs? 361 00:12:16.810 --> 00:12:18.024 - So I'm gonna need you to step out 362 00:12:18.024 --> 00:12:19.690 of the vehicle. - Am I being detained or what? 363 00:12:19.690 --> 00:12:20.595 Am I free to go? 364 00:12:20.595 --> 00:12:21.913 - No, you're being arrested. 365 00:12:22.960 --> 00:12:24.617 - Son of a bitch. 366 00:12:24.617 --> 00:12:27.200 (upbeat music) 367 00:12:29.620 --> 00:12:31.050 - Are you kidding me right now? 368 00:12:31.050 --> 00:12:33.380 You tried to buy a freakin' fake ID! 369 00:12:33.380 --> 00:12:35.230 Like please, take your ass upstairs 370 00:12:35.230 --> 00:12:36.510 and do not come back down until you, 371 00:12:36.510 --> 00:12:37.343 - This isn't fair, 372 00:12:37.343 --> 00:12:38.640 you can't keep treating me like this. 373 00:12:38.640 --> 00:12:39.473 I'm almost an adult. 374 00:12:39.473 --> 00:12:40.700 - Well, adults don't buy fake IDs. 375 00:12:40.700 --> 00:12:41.783 So there's that. 376 00:12:43.540 --> 00:12:45.760 I know that I lost my temper at the park, 377 00:12:45.760 --> 00:12:48.930 but you have got to put yourself in my shoes. 378 00:12:48.930 --> 00:12:51.100 I'm a single mom of two kids, 379 00:12:51.100 --> 00:12:53.360 I work 50 plus hours a week. 380 00:12:53.360 --> 00:12:55.970 I am beyond exhausted. 381 00:12:55.970 --> 00:12:57.670 I am beyond stressed. 382 00:12:57.670 --> 00:13:00.450 And there is zero time for me and my own life. 383 00:13:00.450 --> 00:13:01.860 It's just work and kids. 384 00:13:01.860 --> 00:13:02.693 - You heard the kid, 385 00:13:02.693 --> 00:13:03.526 he's almost an adult. 386 00:13:04.650 --> 00:13:07.060 - I know we need to get him off to school, okay? 387 00:13:07.060 --> 00:13:10.570 And I personally would love to go back to school, 388 00:13:10.570 --> 00:13:12.083 but there's just no time. 389 00:13:13.270 --> 00:13:15.280 - You ever thought about the online schools? 390 00:13:15.280 --> 00:13:16.353 I got a buddy of mine that owns one. 391 00:13:16.353 --> 00:13:18.707 - I guess I could give it a look. 392 00:13:18.707 --> 00:13:21.860 (upbeat music) 393 00:13:21.860 --> 00:13:25.619 - Hi, I am The Great Randito, 394 00:13:25.619 --> 00:13:29.030 and I'm gonna make all of your troubles (blows) 395 00:13:29.030 --> 00:13:32.063 disappear, or at least most of them. 396 00:13:33.370 --> 00:13:34.920 Are your parents on your case 397 00:13:34.920 --> 00:13:36.693 about still living at home? 398 00:13:37.600 --> 00:13:38.800 Have you lost your job and your 399 00:13:38.800 --> 00:13:41.010 non-understanding significant other? 400 00:13:41.010 --> 00:13:43.284 Just wants to keep going on and griping 401 00:13:43.284 --> 00:13:44.991 and griping and griping, (loud cluttering). 402 00:13:44.991 --> 00:13:46.004 - Cut! 403 00:13:46.004 --> 00:13:47.711 Cut, what the hell? 404 00:13:47.711 --> 00:13:49.151 That's, that's, that's, 405 00:13:49.151 --> 00:13:50.644 (voice drowned out by loud cluttering) 406 00:13:50.644 --> 00:13:51.737 - Hey dog! 407 00:13:51.737 --> 00:13:53.492 - I'm directing a film here, man! 408 00:13:53.492 --> 00:13:54.325 What's up? 409 00:13:54.325 --> 00:13:55.158 - Okay, all right, 410 00:13:55.158 --> 00:13:56.009 let's get this down. 411 00:13:56.009 --> 00:13:57.407 - Strike. 412 00:13:57.407 --> 00:13:58.986 Strike. 413 00:13:58.986 --> 00:14:00.390 Strike. 414 00:14:00.390 --> 00:14:02.273 I'm directing a masterpiece here. 415 00:14:03.555 --> 00:14:05.910 Who are you, by the way? 416 00:14:05.910 --> 00:14:08.680 - I'm the guy is paying for all of this. 417 00:14:08.680 --> 00:14:10.080 - I guess you know him then. 418 00:14:10.080 --> 00:14:11.063 I'm taking five. 419 00:14:11.063 --> 00:14:13.375 It's gonna cost you double. 420 00:14:13.375 --> 00:14:15.310 - No, no, it's not ray dog, 421 00:14:15.310 --> 00:14:17.320 it's The Great Randito. 422 00:14:17.320 --> 00:14:19.794 I, I, I gotta stay in character. 423 00:14:19.794 --> 00:14:20.980 (both talking simultaneously) 424 00:14:20.980 --> 00:14:24.520 - Look, I love what I saw. 425 00:14:24.520 --> 00:14:25.353 I mean, - Yeah? 426 00:14:25.353 --> 00:14:28.060 - Yeah, it was, Sunshine Precious, and I, 427 00:14:28.060 --> 00:14:29.420 we just wanted to come by, 428 00:14:29.420 --> 00:14:31.070 and see how the production was going, 429 00:14:31.070 --> 00:14:33.700 and I just wanted to, maybe, 430 00:14:33.700 --> 00:14:36.450 pass off some more copy for you, okay? 431 00:14:36.450 --> 00:14:37.380 So just um, 432 00:14:37.380 --> 00:14:38.970 I mean you can use it if you like. 433 00:14:38.970 --> 00:14:40.750 I mean, maybe, 434 00:14:40.750 --> 00:14:41.940 you could shoot one or two 435 00:14:41.940 --> 00:14:43.870 as The Great Ridicio, 436 00:14:43.870 --> 00:14:47.883 and maybe shoot one or two with this. 437 00:14:49.760 --> 00:14:52.993 - Congratulations, you are not the father. 438 00:14:54.304 --> 00:14:56.887 (upbeat music) 439 00:15:02.030 --> 00:15:03.290 - Are you sure about this guy? 440 00:15:03.290 --> 00:15:06.173 - Yes, he is perfect. 441 00:15:07.710 --> 00:15:10.020 - Yeah, I wouldn't say that. 442 00:15:10.020 --> 00:15:13.830 Um, we really didn't have any other options? 443 00:15:13.830 --> 00:15:16.520 - The Great Randitzi is gonna take this campus 444 00:15:16.520 --> 00:15:19.947 to a whole new level, believe that. 445 00:15:19.947 --> 00:15:22.707 - I, I don't think I do. 446 00:15:22.707 --> 00:15:25.290 (upbeat music) 447 00:15:26.470 --> 00:15:28.600 - Well, thanks for bailing me out again. 448 00:15:28.600 --> 00:15:29.630 - Did you skip the con artist 449 00:15:29.630 --> 00:15:31.180 with the career day at school or what? 450 00:15:31.180 --> 00:15:33.290 - Is it is illegal to stop underage drinking? 451 00:15:33.290 --> 00:15:34.123 Because that's what I was doing. 452 00:15:34.123 --> 00:15:35.360 - You almost sound like you believe that. 453 00:15:35.360 --> 00:15:36.810 Let's not forget who spent nine years 454 00:15:36.810 --> 00:15:38.340 taking online classes from a formally 455 00:15:38.340 --> 00:15:40.480 accredited law school to get their degree. 456 00:15:40.480 --> 00:15:41.313 Now, you're in luck. 457 00:15:41.313 --> 00:15:43.050 I struck you up a plea deal. 458 00:15:43.050 --> 00:15:45.300 Sign it. - No, I'm not gonna sign that. 459 00:15:45.300 --> 00:15:46.133 I'm not guilty. 460 00:15:46.133 --> 00:15:47.180 This is entrapment. 461 00:15:47.180 --> 00:15:48.660 - Listen up, there's a new judge in town 462 00:15:48.660 --> 00:15:49.493 and he has a thing for, 463 00:15:49.493 --> 00:15:51.110 how do you say, you ne'er do wells. 464 00:15:51.110 --> 00:15:52.760 - Sir, it hurts my feelings. 465 00:15:52.760 --> 00:15:54.010 - He wants to get you all off the street 466 00:15:54.010 --> 00:15:55.833 and make you forget that you're members of society. 467 00:15:57.550 --> 00:15:58.840 These kids gave you the money. 468 00:15:58.840 --> 00:16:00.480 The prosecutor has to know this case 469 00:16:00.480 --> 00:16:01.840 could fall apart on the stand. 470 00:16:01.840 --> 00:16:02.760 - Then why are we dealing? 471 00:16:02.760 --> 00:16:03.700 - Because if it doesn't, 472 00:16:03.700 --> 00:16:04.533 you're looking at two to five. 473 00:16:04.533 --> 00:16:06.130 Now two to five over a thousand dollars 474 00:16:06.130 --> 00:16:07.300 is hardly worth it. 475 00:16:07.300 --> 00:16:09.300 - Well it was a thousand 50 dollars, 476 00:16:09.300 --> 00:16:11.330 but that's beside the point. 477 00:16:11.330 --> 00:16:12.163 So what's the deal? 478 00:16:12.163 --> 00:16:13.970 How does this work? - Probation, two years. 479 00:16:13.970 --> 00:16:14.900 - That's it? 480 00:16:14.900 --> 00:16:16.240 - And go back to school. 481 00:16:16.240 --> 00:16:17.073 - School, what? 482 00:16:17.073 --> 00:16:19.350 - Look, it's easy, sign this, 483 00:16:19.350 --> 00:16:20.530 get probation for two years, 484 00:16:20.530 --> 00:16:21.363 go back to school, 485 00:16:21.363 --> 00:16:22.630 get your associates degree. 486 00:16:22.630 --> 00:16:23.990 Make the judge happy. 487 00:16:23.990 --> 00:16:24.930 It's a lot better than gambling 488 00:16:24.930 --> 00:16:26.240 with your freedom. 489 00:16:26.240 --> 00:16:27.800 - Seriously? 490 00:16:27.800 --> 00:16:28.633 School? 491 00:16:33.330 --> 00:16:34.670 Would my attorney like to advise me 492 00:16:34.670 --> 00:16:36.810 on a school to attend to? 493 00:16:36.810 --> 00:16:37.643 - Look at this. 494 00:16:38.519 --> 00:16:41.102 (upbeat music) 495 00:16:43.330 --> 00:16:47.760 ♪ The University of Las Colinas. ♪ 496 00:16:47.760 --> 00:16:49.367 - Spoiler alert. 497 00:16:49.367 --> 00:16:52.100 (upbeat music) 498 00:16:52.100 --> 00:16:54.943 You, are not the father. 499 00:16:55.820 --> 00:16:57.430 Hi, I'm Randy Austin 500 00:16:57.430 --> 00:16:59.320 with The University of Las Colinas 501 00:16:59.320 --> 00:17:02.650 And I want you to choose success. 502 00:17:02.650 --> 00:17:05.730 Come on down and choose success. 503 00:17:05.730 --> 00:17:07.040 Get a career. 504 00:17:07.040 --> 00:17:08.653 Improve your life. 505 00:17:08.653 --> 00:17:10.520 I'm Randy Austin, 506 00:17:10.520 --> 00:17:12.610 University of Las Colinas, 507 00:17:12.610 --> 00:17:14.260 and I will make this whole 508 00:17:14.260 --> 00:17:16.734 flat world your office. 509 00:17:16.734 --> 00:17:19.317 (upbeat music) 510 00:17:20.795 --> 00:17:24.157 ♪ The University of Las Colinas. ♪ 511 00:17:24.157 --> 00:17:25.807 - And plus, (paper bag rustling), 512 00:17:29.200 --> 00:17:30.566 think of it as an interest for your loan. 513 00:17:30.566 --> 00:17:32.440 (mumbles) 514 00:17:32.440 --> 00:17:33.910 It's a thousand and 50 dollars in there. 515 00:17:33.910 --> 00:17:35.070 The law says it's yours, 516 00:17:35.070 --> 00:17:38.240 minus my 10% of course, 950 bucks. 517 00:17:38.240 --> 00:17:39.073 Am I the greatest attorney or what? 518 00:17:39.073 --> 00:17:40.220 - Kevin, you're amazing. 519 00:17:40.220 --> 00:17:41.310 - Ah, ah, hey, hey. 520 00:17:41.310 --> 00:17:43.918 What are doing leaving me in jail for 24 hours? 521 00:17:43.918 --> 00:17:45.033 - Wanna know what it is 522 00:17:45.033 --> 00:17:46.620 with Kevin Vaughn clients? 523 00:17:46.620 --> 00:17:47.960 Don't bust into my office. 524 00:17:47.960 --> 00:17:49.920 - I do whatever I want. 525 00:17:49.920 --> 00:17:50.943 I'll just fire you. 526 00:17:52.220 --> 00:17:53.053 - You know what you can do? 527 00:17:53.053 --> 00:17:54.920 You can just sit there and play with your ball 528 00:17:54.920 --> 00:17:56.730 until it's time for you. 529 00:17:56.730 --> 00:17:57.563 Are we done here? 530 00:17:57.563 --> 00:17:59.390 - Yeah, we're done, later. 531 00:17:59.390 --> 00:18:00.223 - Thank you. 532 00:18:00.223 --> 00:18:01.730 - Okay, client number two. 533 00:18:01.730 --> 00:18:03.720 Have a seat, obviously there's no wait. 534 00:18:03.720 --> 00:18:04.553 But let me tell you 535 00:18:04.553 --> 00:18:06.361 about this ne'er do well initiative. 536 00:18:06.361 --> 00:18:07.200 (upbeat music) 537 00:18:07.200 --> 00:18:08.250 - You know what, yeah, 538 00:18:08.250 --> 00:18:09.360 it might be good for you to learn 539 00:18:09.360 --> 00:18:10.650 a little responsibility. 540 00:18:10.650 --> 00:18:11.900 Let me help you out some. 541 00:18:13.740 --> 00:18:14.573 - Whiskey. 542 00:18:14.573 --> 00:18:16.251 Any, just give me whiskey. 543 00:18:16.251 --> 00:18:17.084 Anything? 544 00:18:18.043 --> 00:18:20.177 - No, no, I'm good man. 545 00:18:20.177 --> 00:18:22.340 TBH, I mean, to be honest. 546 00:18:22.340 --> 00:18:24.120 - While we're being honest, 547 00:18:24.120 --> 00:18:27.583 responsibility and I do not go hand-in-hand. 548 00:18:29.720 --> 00:18:33.120 I mean, I need room for all my activities. 549 00:18:33.120 --> 00:18:34.983 My MMA career. 550 00:18:34.983 --> 00:18:38.050 - You getting beat up by a kid at the park 551 00:18:38.050 --> 00:18:40.200 is not an MMA career. 552 00:18:40.200 --> 00:18:41.610 Sorry, not sorry. 553 00:18:41.610 --> 00:18:43.040 - I'm being serious. 554 00:18:43.040 --> 00:18:44.930 - Serious, how like you seriously 555 00:18:44.930 --> 00:18:47.743 got your ass kicked by a kid at the park? 556 00:18:48.902 --> 00:18:50.680 - I'd like a little whiskey. 557 00:18:50.680 --> 00:18:51.720 - You don't need one, 558 00:18:51.720 --> 00:18:53.521 you've got a full whiskey right, right there. 559 00:18:53.521 --> 00:18:54.560 - Another whiskey. 560 00:18:54.560 --> 00:18:56.513 Shut up, he was right, another whiskey. 561 00:18:57.920 --> 00:18:59.750 - I freakin' hate you so much. 562 00:18:59.750 --> 00:19:01.310 - Hey, ay, ay, look, look. 563 00:19:01.310 --> 00:19:03.090 That's that (stumbling over words) 564 00:19:03.090 --> 00:19:05.280 University of um, God, 565 00:19:05.280 --> 00:19:06.798 I can't remember the guy's, the lawyer. 566 00:19:06.798 --> 00:19:08.145 The lawyer, that's the school he wants me 567 00:19:08.145 --> 00:19:09.860 to enroll in. 568 00:19:09.860 --> 00:19:12.600 - The University of Las Colinas. 569 00:19:12.600 --> 00:19:13.433 - That's it. 570 00:19:15.307 --> 00:19:18.330 ♪ The University of Las Colinas. ♪ 571 00:19:18.330 --> 00:19:21.590 - Hi, I'm The Great Randito, 572 00:19:23.270 --> 00:19:28.270 and I want to change your life like magic. 573 00:19:28.670 --> 00:19:30.303 So come down 574 00:19:30.303 --> 00:19:31.800 to the University of Las Colinas, 575 00:19:31.800 --> 00:19:35.173 and turn your life into an illusion. 576 00:19:36.440 --> 00:19:38.127 The University of Las Colinas, 577 00:19:38.127 --> 00:19:40.927 12, 12, loop 12. 578 00:19:40.927 --> 00:19:45.927 ♪ Go to school, don't be a fool ♪ 579 00:19:46.400 --> 00:19:48.876 ♪ University of Las Colinas ♪ 580 00:19:48.876 --> 00:19:49.709 - Free lime. 581 00:19:49.709 --> 00:19:51.920 - Well what else do you have going on? 582 00:19:51.920 --> 00:19:53.140 - Stuff. 583 00:19:53.140 --> 00:19:55.670 - No you don't, you don't have anything going on in your life. 584 00:19:55.670 --> 00:19:56.530 Your dad died, 585 00:19:56.530 --> 00:19:58.030 a truck dumped a bunch of money 586 00:19:58.030 --> 00:20:00.080 on top of you, and you haven't done anything with it. 587 00:20:00.080 --> 00:20:00.913 Like anything. 588 00:20:02.101 --> 00:20:03.563 - I been in training. 589 00:20:04.580 --> 00:20:07.680 - For 10 years, 10 years? 590 00:20:07.680 --> 00:20:08.652 - Dude, know-it-all, 591 00:20:08.652 --> 00:20:11.550 why don't you go back to school with me then? 592 00:20:11.550 --> 00:20:12.950 - Why would I go back to school with you? 593 00:20:12.950 --> 00:20:15.053 I've got a pretty successful business. 594 00:20:16.367 --> 00:20:19.283 - (laughing) You sell fishing lures, dude. 595 00:20:20.620 --> 00:20:23.453 - So, it catches the bills right in the mouth. 596 00:20:25.240 --> 00:20:28.150 - You sell fishing lures on Pinterest. 597 00:20:28.150 --> 00:20:31.390 You make a living on Pinterest. 598 00:20:31.390 --> 00:20:33.390 - Well yeah, but I've also got a website. 599 00:20:33.390 --> 00:20:35.920 I've got other platforms that I sell on. 600 00:20:35.920 --> 00:20:40.800 I'm a fishing lure influencer, a fish-luencer. 601 00:20:40.800 --> 00:20:42.480 - It's a lady job. 602 00:20:42.480 --> 00:20:44.570 - All right, think what you want. 603 00:20:44.570 --> 00:20:45.680 Why don't you just go back to school? 604 00:20:45.680 --> 00:20:48.236 - Go back to school, don't be a fool. 605 00:20:48.236 --> 00:20:49.600 (mumbles) 606 00:20:49.600 --> 00:20:50.433 - All right, you know what, fine. 607 00:20:50.433 --> 00:20:52.790 Don't listen to anything I have to say. 608 00:20:52.790 --> 00:20:54.460 You're gonna find yourself in some serious 609 00:20:54.460 --> 00:20:55.550 trouble one of these days, 610 00:20:55.550 --> 00:20:56.383 and you know who's gonna be 611 00:20:56.383 --> 00:20:57.540 to blame for all that? 612 00:20:57.540 --> 00:20:59.470 You, stop mocking me. 613 00:20:59.470 --> 00:21:00.600 I don't appreciate that. 614 00:21:00.600 --> 00:21:01.810 It's not cool. 615 00:21:01.810 --> 00:21:03.300 Don't mock me. 616 00:21:03.300 --> 00:21:04.313 - Seriously! 617 00:21:06.380 --> 00:21:07.213 You know what? 618 00:21:07.213 --> 00:21:09.004 I'm gonna blame it on the whiskey tonight. 619 00:21:09.004 --> 00:21:11.573 And that's it. Whiskey's good, whiskey's great, 620 00:21:12.500 --> 00:21:14.540 don't go home or you forget your date. 621 00:21:14.540 --> 00:21:15.840 Whatever, you know. 622 00:21:15.840 --> 00:21:16.760 Get outta here. 623 00:21:16.760 --> 00:21:18.977 Three, just like this, right here. 624 00:21:18.977 --> 00:21:21.394 (rock music) 625 00:21:37.932 --> 00:21:39.094 The jerk's in there. 626 00:21:39.094 --> 00:21:42.594 (music drowns out voices) 627 00:21:51.190 --> 00:21:53.865 (farts, urinating) 628 00:21:53.865 --> 00:21:55.440 - Hey, what's going on over here? 629 00:21:55.440 --> 00:21:57.627 - Man, what does it look like I'm doing? 630 00:21:57.627 --> 00:21:59.120 - Hey, I know you. 631 00:21:59.120 --> 00:22:00.430 You're the guy that started a fight 632 00:22:00.430 --> 00:22:01.550 with my sister and my nephew. 633 00:22:01.550 --> 00:22:02.770 - No, they started it. 634 00:22:02.770 --> 00:22:04.950 - You been drinking tonight, buddy? 635 00:22:04.950 --> 00:22:06.580 - I'm in a parking lot of a bar, 636 00:22:06.580 --> 00:22:08.400 what does it look like I'm doing? 637 00:22:08.400 --> 00:22:09.233 - Would you step over here? 638 00:22:09.233 --> 00:22:11.370 You're being arrested for public intoxication. 639 00:22:11.370 --> 00:22:12.353 - Not right now. 640 00:22:12.353 --> 00:22:15.389 I'm gonna finish peeing. (grunts) 641 00:22:15.389 --> 00:22:17.163 We going to your mom's house? 642 00:22:18.430 --> 00:22:20.070 - You are quickly becoming my favorite client, 643 00:22:20.070 --> 00:22:22.300 but you cannot keep busting in here like this. 644 00:22:22.300 --> 00:22:23.430 - I'll take the deal. 645 00:22:23.430 --> 00:22:26.340 - Great, wonderful, I'll make the call. 646 00:22:26.340 --> 00:22:27.590 Oh, by the way, if you can't hold it, 647 00:22:27.590 --> 00:22:29.953 the bathroom's down the hall to the left. 648 00:22:29.953 --> 00:22:32.536 (upbeat music) 649 00:22:38.910 --> 00:22:39.743 - Yeah. 650 00:22:41.240 --> 00:22:43.603 - What, what are you doing here? 651 00:22:45.110 --> 00:22:47.470 - Mr. Orton, so glad you could make it. 652 00:22:47.470 --> 00:22:48.630 Sorry, I didn't have a chance 653 00:22:48.630 --> 00:22:50.170 to formally meet yesterday. 654 00:22:50.170 --> 00:22:52.730 Caine Orton, meet Kerry Michaels. 655 00:22:52.730 --> 00:22:53.563 - Pleasure. 656 00:22:53.563 --> 00:22:54.463 - Yeah, it is. 657 00:22:56.430 --> 00:22:57.960 What are you doing here? 658 00:22:57.960 --> 00:23:00.331 You haven't answered my question. 659 00:23:00.331 --> 00:23:02.030 - I've decided to become an ordained minister. 660 00:23:02.030 --> 00:23:04.430 And they actually offer classes for that here. 661 00:23:04.430 --> 00:23:05.263 - What? 662 00:23:05.263 --> 00:23:06.096 - Yeah, you know, 663 00:23:06.096 --> 00:23:07.809 get my side hustle on. 664 00:23:07.809 --> 00:23:08.670 I mean I have tough clients. 665 00:23:08.670 --> 00:23:10.050 They need prenups and divorces and such. 666 00:23:10.050 --> 00:23:11.490 I might as well do it all. 667 00:23:11.490 --> 00:23:13.100 Concept through completion. 668 00:23:13.100 --> 00:23:14.550 Although if you want help with the consummation 669 00:23:14.550 --> 00:23:16.110 that's pro bono. (clicks tongue) 670 00:23:16.110 --> 00:23:18.410 - What a class act. 671 00:23:18.410 --> 00:23:22.170 - Hi guys, I am Sunshine Precious. 672 00:23:22.170 --> 00:23:23.590 - Your name is Sunshine? 673 00:23:23.590 --> 00:23:25.220 - Yes, Sunshine Precious. 674 00:23:25.220 --> 00:23:26.780 - Like on your birth certificate? 675 00:23:26.780 --> 00:23:27.660 Sunshine Precious? 676 00:23:27.660 --> 00:23:30.510 - Yeah, I guess I won the hippie parent award. 677 00:23:30.510 --> 00:23:31.760 - That is a stripper name. 678 00:23:31.760 --> 00:23:32.830 - Excuse me? 679 00:23:32.830 --> 00:23:34.660 - Like I can hear it now. 680 00:23:34.660 --> 00:23:36.820 Welcome to the bunkhouse, boys. 681 00:23:36.820 --> 00:23:38.970 My name is Sunshine Precious. 682 00:23:38.970 --> 00:23:41.380 - Okay, have a seat please, sir. 683 00:23:41.380 --> 00:23:42.670 - She'll make it glow, boys, 684 00:23:42.670 --> 00:23:43.543 it's Sunshine Precious. 685 00:23:43.543 --> 00:23:46.863 - That is incredibly offensive, sit down! 686 00:23:48.690 --> 00:23:51.920 - Gentlemen, welcome. 687 00:23:51.920 --> 00:23:54.081 We can head on back. 688 00:23:54.081 --> 00:23:56.980 I see you met our receptionist, Sunshine Precious. 689 00:23:56.980 --> 00:23:59.750 Yeah, and that's her real name. 690 00:23:59.750 --> 00:24:00.874 Can you believe it? 691 00:24:00.874 --> 00:24:02.490 - It was discussed. 692 00:24:02.490 --> 00:24:03.770 - Come from parents who are dirty hippies, 693 00:24:03.770 --> 00:24:06.260 but there are two good reasons 694 00:24:06.260 --> 00:24:07.393 we keep her around. 695 00:24:08.730 --> 00:24:09.690 - I don't know where you're used 696 00:24:09.690 --> 00:24:10.600 to working, Randy, 697 00:24:10.600 --> 00:24:12.773 but here that is incredibly inappropriate. 698 00:24:13.900 --> 00:24:16.143 - Aw, come on, don't be a pill. 699 00:24:17.460 --> 00:24:19.113 She must be PMSing. 700 00:24:23.490 --> 00:24:24.913 All right, um. 701 00:24:25.890 --> 00:24:26.940 - Why do I work here? 702 00:24:30.389 --> 00:24:31.563 - What in the hell? 703 00:24:32.470 --> 00:24:33.390 This day can't get any worse. 704 00:24:33.390 --> 00:24:34.700 What are you doing here? 705 00:24:34.700 --> 00:24:36.220 - Oh, I'm sorry, sweetie. 706 00:24:36.220 --> 00:24:37.870 Did you not realize that this was a school 707 00:24:37.870 --> 00:24:39.350 like for grown ups? 708 00:24:39.350 --> 00:24:40.830 Because there is that elementary school 709 00:24:40.830 --> 00:24:42.300 down the street if you need to go there 710 00:24:42.300 --> 00:24:44.740 and like pick on someone your own size. 711 00:24:44.740 --> 00:24:46.440 - Look, look, look, 712 00:24:46.440 --> 00:24:48.220 I never laid a finger on you, 713 00:24:48.220 --> 00:24:49.657 and if I were gonna do anything, 714 00:24:49.657 --> 00:24:51.110 I'd put my left foot in your ass, 715 00:24:51.110 --> 00:24:52.390 so it'd be all right. 716 00:24:52.390 --> 00:24:54.080 - Anytime you wanna go again, cookie, 717 00:24:54.080 --> 00:24:55.485 just let me know. 718 00:24:55.485 --> 00:24:57.220 - Caine, candy. 719 00:24:57.220 --> 00:24:59.450 - I think actually it's douche bag. 720 00:24:59.450 --> 00:25:01.170 - This is where your bride gets it. 721 00:25:01.170 --> 00:25:03.160 I mean you're not like a real nurturing type 722 00:25:03.160 --> 00:25:04.330 parent are you? 723 00:25:04.330 --> 00:25:06.660 - Are you questioning my parenting skills? 724 00:25:06.660 --> 00:25:07.570 - [Caine] No, all of it. 725 00:25:07.570 --> 00:25:08.493 - Okay, because I can come over there 726 00:25:08.493 --> 00:25:10.040 and parent all over your face 727 00:25:10.040 --> 00:25:13.150 if you need me to. - Children, children, let's all calm 728 00:25:13.150 --> 00:25:15.040 down shall we? 729 00:25:15.040 --> 00:25:16.160 All right, as most of you know, 730 00:25:16.160 --> 00:25:17.550 my name is Sunshine Precious. 731 00:25:17.550 --> 00:25:19.230 I'm the administration assistant here. 732 00:25:19.230 --> 00:25:20.980 So if there is ever anything that you guys need 733 00:25:20.980 --> 00:25:21.813 just let me know. 734 00:25:21.813 --> 00:25:22.910 - Welcome to the main stage. 735 00:25:22.910 --> 00:25:24.528 It's Sunshine Precious. 736 00:25:24.528 --> 00:25:26.077 - (sarcastic laughing) It's still not funny. 737 00:25:26.077 --> 00:25:28.430 - It's always funny. (laughing) 738 00:25:28.430 --> 00:25:30.720 - Anyway, in just a moment I'll bring 739 00:25:30.720 --> 00:25:31.790 out the enrollment packets, 740 00:25:31.790 --> 00:25:32.730 we'll get 'em filled out, 741 00:25:32.730 --> 00:25:34.970 and get you guys started towards your future, 742 00:25:34.970 --> 00:25:35.803 but before that we're gonna have 743 00:25:35.803 --> 00:25:38.240 a brief orientation with the director 744 00:25:38.240 --> 00:25:39.630 of The University of Las Colinas, 745 00:25:39.630 --> 00:25:40.963 Mr. Randy Austin. 746 00:25:42.120 --> 00:25:43.559 - Say it! 747 00:25:43.559 --> 00:25:45.743 - No, it's unprofessional. 748 00:25:47.040 --> 00:25:48.540 - Get up there and say it. 749 00:25:48.540 --> 00:25:49.663 - Absolutely not. 750 00:25:51.810 --> 00:25:54.840 - Say it or you're fired. 751 00:25:54.840 --> 00:25:57.423 - You can't fire me for not being stupid. 752 00:25:59.860 --> 00:26:00.890 - Yes I can. 753 00:26:00.890 --> 00:26:01.723 - No you can't. 754 00:26:04.020 --> 00:26:05.833 - Would you just say it already? 755 00:26:07.320 --> 00:26:08.403 - Fine. 756 00:26:10.860 --> 00:26:13.750 - Everybody, please welcome 757 00:26:13.750 --> 00:26:15.460 The Great Randito, yay. 758 00:26:19.997 --> 00:26:21.760 - A magician? 759 00:26:21.760 --> 00:26:22.990 This should be interesting. 760 00:26:22.990 --> 00:26:24.730 - Yeah, that's one word for it. 761 00:26:24.730 --> 00:26:26.670 - Are you sure about this? 762 00:26:26.670 --> 00:26:27.990 - Do I have to be showered with bubblegum? 763 00:26:27.990 --> 00:26:28.823 - No. 764 00:26:30.120 --> 00:26:31.373 - Greetings. 765 00:26:34.970 --> 00:26:36.930 My name is Randy, 766 00:26:36.930 --> 00:26:40.223 also known as The Great Randito. 767 00:26:42.592 --> 00:26:44.763 I am a magician. 768 00:26:46.210 --> 00:26:48.773 Do you believe in magic? 769 00:26:51.610 --> 00:26:54.203 Well, today you will. 770 00:26:55.070 --> 00:26:57.100 And for my first trick, 771 00:26:57.100 --> 00:27:00.707 I am going to make all of your bills disappear. 772 00:27:08.692 --> 00:27:09.692 (blowing air) Ta da! 773 00:27:13.230 --> 00:27:15.820 Okay, I know what you're thinking. 774 00:27:15.820 --> 00:27:18.370 You're thinking did he really make all 775 00:27:18.370 --> 00:27:20.670 of our bills disappear? 776 00:27:20.670 --> 00:27:23.620 Well, the answer is yes. 777 00:27:23.620 --> 00:27:26.940 All of your bills will disappear 778 00:27:26.940 --> 00:27:28.913 as soon as you pay them. 779 00:27:32.310 --> 00:27:35.720 All University of Las Colinas students 780 00:27:35.720 --> 00:27:38.623 have a great starting salary rate. 781 00:27:48.050 --> 00:27:49.683 - All right, well I do need to let you know 782 00:27:49.683 --> 00:27:51.860 that we do have Study Hall open 783 00:27:51.860 --> 00:27:53.670 with Wi-Fi and computers available 784 00:27:53.670 --> 00:27:54.503 to the students. 785 00:27:54.503 --> 00:27:56.410 - Great, study group Friday nights? 786 00:27:56.410 --> 00:27:58.410 - No, I can't do Friday, I play poker. 787 00:27:58.410 --> 00:27:59.243 How about Thursday? 788 00:27:59.243 --> 00:28:01.630 - Eh, Thursday's out. 789 00:28:01.630 --> 00:28:02.673 I got jiu jitsu. 790 00:28:03.730 --> 00:28:04.563 How about Wednesday? 791 00:28:04.563 --> 00:28:06.065 - I deliver for Meals on Wheels Wednesdays. 792 00:28:06.065 --> 00:28:06.898 - What? 793 00:28:07.974 --> 00:28:09.330 - What, it's a great way to meet people 794 00:28:09.330 --> 00:28:11.300 that might need probate soon. 795 00:28:11.300 --> 00:28:12.160 - Seriously? 796 00:28:12.160 --> 00:28:13.460 - What about you hot stuff? 797 00:28:13.460 --> 00:28:14.550 Why are you so quiet? 798 00:28:14.550 --> 00:28:17.140 - I was just thinking about how I would rather 799 00:28:17.140 --> 00:28:19.660 choose a group that wasn't full of jerks. 800 00:28:19.660 --> 00:28:21.690 - Eh, it takes one to know one. 801 00:28:21.690 --> 00:28:23.090 - Bookstore? 802 00:28:23.090 --> 00:28:24.610 - Everything is online. 803 00:28:24.610 --> 00:28:25.910 There's no need for a bookstore 804 00:28:25.910 --> 00:28:27.420 because there are no books. 805 00:28:27.420 --> 00:28:28.530 - I mean what am I supposed to sell 806 00:28:28.530 --> 00:28:30.340 at the end of the semester for blow? 807 00:28:30.340 --> 00:28:32.760 - What does this school actually have? 808 00:28:32.760 --> 00:28:35.080 - World class student services, 809 00:28:35.080 --> 00:28:37.230 along with an online bookstore, 810 00:28:37.230 --> 00:28:38.740 an online library, 811 00:28:38.740 --> 00:28:42.090 24/7 access to tutoring and IT, 812 00:28:42.090 --> 00:28:44.450 all developed with the adult learner in mind. 813 00:28:44.450 --> 00:28:46.590 - Didn't you guys have a sweet 16 team last year? 814 00:28:46.590 --> 00:28:50.373 - Online, online, online! 815 00:28:51.770 --> 00:28:54.910 There's no athletics, and no books, 816 00:28:54.910 --> 00:28:56.553 because we're all online, okay? 817 00:28:58.095 --> 00:28:59.686 (both talking simultaneously) 818 00:28:59.686 --> 00:29:01.130 - It's all online. 819 00:29:01.130 --> 00:29:03.520 Now I would like to invite the staff 820 00:29:03.520 --> 00:29:05.265 and my new classmates out for a drink. 821 00:29:05.265 --> 00:29:06.098 Huh? 822 00:29:06.098 --> 00:29:07.550 - So I actually have like some real 823 00:29:07.550 --> 00:29:08.950 responsibilities so that's like 824 00:29:08.950 --> 00:29:10.320 a no for me, okay? 825 00:29:10.320 --> 00:29:11.918 - Let's go get a drink. 826 00:29:11.918 --> 00:29:14.501 (upbeat music) 827 00:29:19.270 --> 00:29:20.760 - So what do you do, Caine? 828 00:29:20.760 --> 00:29:22.150 - I'm an MMA fighter. 829 00:29:22.150 --> 00:29:23.130 - For real? 830 00:29:23.130 --> 00:29:26.270 That's awesome. - Mr. Orton was born very wealthy. 831 00:29:26.270 --> 00:29:27.560 In fact, when his father passed away 832 00:29:27.560 --> 00:29:28.910 he inherited a lot of money. 833 00:29:28.910 --> 00:29:29.760 Much of which he's expected 834 00:29:29.760 --> 00:29:31.170 to keep himself out of trouble. 835 00:29:31.170 --> 00:29:32.360 - Why couldn't I have been born rich 836 00:29:32.360 --> 00:29:33.620 instead of just good looking? 837 00:29:33.620 --> 00:29:34.770 - So what is it that you do? 838 00:29:34.770 --> 00:29:35.650 - I'm a hustler. 839 00:29:35.650 --> 00:29:36.900 - Okay, that's very modest. 840 00:29:36.900 --> 00:29:39.040 Mr. Michaels, here, is actually one of the best 841 00:29:39.040 --> 00:29:40.680 con men south of the Red River. 842 00:29:40.680 --> 00:29:42.000 It's in his blood. 843 00:29:42.000 --> 00:29:43.833 - Like, a real live con artist. 844 00:29:44.880 --> 00:29:46.460 - I been known to. 845 00:29:46.460 --> 00:29:48.360 - Teach me, like I wanna learn to hustle. 846 00:29:48.360 --> 00:29:49.430 - No, no, no, no, no. 847 00:29:49.430 --> 00:29:51.947 As your attorney I advise against this, okay? 848 00:29:51.947 --> 00:29:53.890 You all keep me busy enough as it is. 849 00:29:53.890 --> 00:29:54.963 - Okay, rule number one, 850 00:29:54.963 --> 00:29:57.003 there's a sucker born every second. 851 00:29:58.470 --> 00:29:59.693 Your job is to find one. 852 00:30:00.570 --> 00:30:02.870 - I want no part of this. 853 00:30:02.870 --> 00:30:03.703 When you get busted, 854 00:30:03.703 --> 00:30:05.780 I don't wanna know what happened, okay? 855 00:30:05.780 --> 00:30:06.613 I'm outta here. 856 00:30:06.613 --> 00:30:08.020 Good luck you all, pay my bar tab. 857 00:30:08.020 --> 00:30:09.440 - [Caine] Your hands smell like chicken. 858 00:30:09.440 --> 00:30:11.290 - We don't need numb nuts anyway. 859 00:30:11.290 --> 00:30:12.320 Rule number two, 860 00:30:12.320 --> 00:30:14.203 get the conversation started, okay? 861 00:30:16.330 --> 00:30:17.245 Hey man. 862 00:30:17.245 --> 00:30:18.078 - Hey. 863 00:30:18.078 --> 00:30:19.744 - Up for a game? - Sure. 864 00:30:19.744 --> 00:30:21.120 - Gus Wilson, how ya doing? 865 00:30:21.120 --> 00:30:22.793 - I'm good, and yourself. - Good, boy I'll be glad 866 00:30:22.793 --> 00:30:24.460 when this business trip is over. 867 00:30:24.460 --> 00:30:25.840 I'm on my last leg and I'll be home 868 00:30:25.840 --> 00:30:27.230 back in Austin tomorrow. 869 00:30:27.230 --> 00:30:29.110 - Oh, you traveling for work or? 870 00:30:29.110 --> 00:30:31.420 - Yeah, it's an innocent hell but you know, 871 00:30:31.420 --> 00:30:32.500 at least the old lady can't nag me 872 00:30:32.500 --> 00:30:33.619 while I'm on the road. 873 00:30:33.619 --> 00:30:35.980 (rock music) 874 00:30:35.980 --> 00:30:38.302 You have to build their confidence. 875 00:30:38.302 --> 00:30:40.950 (rock music) 876 00:30:40.950 --> 00:30:42.290 I know what my problem is. 877 00:30:42.290 --> 00:30:43.470 I used to play league, 878 00:30:43.470 --> 00:30:45.110 and I can't play without something on the line. 879 00:30:45.110 --> 00:30:46.090 So why don't we play for some beers 880 00:30:46.090 --> 00:30:47.180 or shots or something? 881 00:30:47.180 --> 00:30:48.013 - Beers work for me. 882 00:30:48.013 --> 00:30:49.182 - Let's do it. 883 00:30:49.182 --> 00:30:50.024 - Do it. 884 00:30:50.024 --> 00:30:51.880 (rock music) 885 00:30:51.880 --> 00:30:53.250 - Got the beers. 886 00:30:53.250 --> 00:30:54.340 Close the deal. 887 00:30:54.340 --> 00:30:56.090 I'm all beered out. 888 00:30:56.090 --> 00:30:58.187 I do have one more $100 bill in here though. 889 00:30:58.187 --> 00:30:59.270 You wanna just take it 890 00:30:59.270 --> 00:31:00.627 and put me out of my misery? 891 00:31:00.627 --> 00:31:02.790 - Nah, I don't wanna take your money, man. 892 00:31:02.790 --> 00:31:04.637 - There's lots more in the bank. 893 00:31:04.637 --> 00:31:06.540 (rock music) 894 00:31:06.540 --> 00:31:07.800 - I mean if you insist. 895 00:31:07.800 --> 00:31:09.151 - Let's do it. 896 00:31:09.151 --> 00:31:10.151 - All right. 897 00:31:13.210 --> 00:31:14.184 - Bullseye. 898 00:31:14.184 --> 00:31:16.601 (rock music) 899 00:31:20.660 --> 00:31:22.110 - Bullseye. 900 00:31:22.110 --> 00:31:24.210 You know man, I wouldn't feel right if I didn't give you 901 00:31:24.210 --> 00:31:25.200 at least one more chance 902 00:31:25.200 --> 00:31:26.500 to win your money back. 903 00:31:26.500 --> 00:31:27.850 Let's go double or nothing. 904 00:31:28.980 --> 00:31:29.840 - One more game. 905 00:31:29.840 --> 00:31:30.673 - One more game. 906 00:31:32.579 --> 00:31:34.070 - Son of bitch! 907 00:31:34.070 --> 00:31:35.293 - [Kerry] Get outta dodge. 908 00:31:36.227 --> 00:31:38.644 (rock music) 909 00:31:46.381 --> 00:31:47.214 - Okay. 910 00:31:47.214 --> 00:31:48.066 - No, let's sit here, 911 00:31:48.066 --> 00:31:49.603 on this side over here. 912 00:31:49.603 --> 00:31:50.436 - Why? 913 00:31:50.436 --> 00:31:51.610 - The lighting's way better over here 914 00:31:51.610 --> 00:31:52.793 than it is over there. 915 00:31:52.793 --> 00:31:53.626 - Okay. 916 00:31:55.893 --> 00:31:58.617 I'm really looking forward to dinner. 917 00:31:58.617 --> 00:32:01.430 (upbeat music) 918 00:32:01.430 --> 00:32:02.450 Is everything okay? 919 00:32:02.450 --> 00:32:03.420 - Yeah, why do you ask? 920 00:32:03.420 --> 00:32:05.520 - You seem a little distracted. 921 00:32:05.520 --> 00:32:07.745 - I'm distracted by your beauty. 922 00:32:07.745 --> 00:32:09.553 - (chuckles) You're so sweet. 923 00:32:10.877 --> 00:32:13.270 I'm really looking forward to this dinner 924 00:32:13.270 --> 00:32:15.467 without discussing football. 925 00:32:15.467 --> 00:32:18.290 (upbeat music) 926 00:32:18.290 --> 00:32:21.330 What do you think about after dinner, 927 00:32:21.330 --> 00:32:23.020 you and I go back to my place 928 00:32:23.020 --> 00:32:25.800 for a little nightcap? - Way to catch! 929 00:32:25.800 --> 00:32:27.244 - What? 930 00:32:27.244 --> 00:32:28.077 - [Cody] What? 931 00:32:28.077 --> 00:32:29.180 - Cody! 932 00:32:29.180 --> 00:32:31.830 You jerk, you promised no football! 933 00:32:31.830 --> 00:32:33.790 - I didn't know the game was gonna be on. 934 00:32:33.790 --> 00:32:34.623 - [Charlotte] No football! 935 00:32:34.623 --> 00:32:35.596 - Can't expect me not to, 936 00:32:35.596 --> 00:32:36.690 - No football! 937 00:32:36.690 --> 00:32:37.533 - Don't go. 938 00:32:38.593 --> 00:32:41.954 Go, go, go, go, go, go, go! 939 00:32:41.954 --> 00:32:44.537 (upbeat music) 940 00:32:46.510 --> 00:32:47.860 - Hey, I had a call about some guys 941 00:32:47.860 --> 00:32:49.111 disturbing the peace in here. 942 00:32:49.111 --> 00:32:50.539 - (mumbles) I bring it in. 943 00:32:50.539 --> 00:32:53.789 (both laugh and chant) 944 00:32:55.790 --> 00:32:56.906 - What have been up to, Shawn? 945 00:32:56.906 --> 00:32:57.810 - You know, just trying to keep my nephew 946 00:32:57.810 --> 00:32:58.643 out of trouble, 947 00:32:58.643 --> 00:32:59.630 you know how these kids are. 948 00:32:59.630 --> 00:33:00.470 Can't be their own man, 949 00:33:00.470 --> 00:33:01.810 can't even fight their own fights anymore. 950 00:33:01.810 --> 00:33:02.643 - Hey, you know what, 951 00:33:02.643 --> 00:33:04.470 that's why we're keg men, right? 952 00:33:04.470 --> 00:33:05.487 All for one and one for all. 953 00:33:05.487 --> 00:33:07.190 - You gotta join my football team. 954 00:33:07.190 --> 00:33:10.000 I had this rookie, got bit by a dog, 955 00:33:10.000 --> 00:33:11.430 he's recovering, you know these kids 956 00:33:11.430 --> 00:33:12.630 the wusses nowadays. 957 00:33:12.630 --> 00:33:14.732 - My playing days, they are over. 958 00:33:14.732 --> 00:33:15.565 - What? 959 00:33:15.565 --> 00:33:17.500 - I got two bum knees. 960 00:33:17.500 --> 00:33:18.333 Wait, what about this guy, though? 961 00:33:18.333 --> 00:33:20.240 What, yeah remember, yeah, 962 00:33:20.240 --> 00:33:23.140 what was that, uh, 30 and O that year. 963 00:33:23.140 --> 00:33:25.470 - Actually 42 and O, but who's counting right? 964 00:33:25.470 --> 00:33:27.750 - One, two, three, 965 00:33:27.750 --> 00:33:29.660 all Americans back at it again, 966 00:33:29.660 --> 00:33:30.689 kicking ass as always. 967 00:33:30.689 --> 00:33:31.522 - Actually, it's (mumbles) 968 00:33:31.522 --> 00:33:32.355 the time is right. 969 00:33:32.355 --> 00:33:33.188 I mean we were wrestling team 970 00:33:33.188 --> 00:33:34.330 age fraternity brothers. 971 00:33:34.330 --> 00:33:35.680 - So what are you tycoons doing now? 972 00:33:35.680 --> 00:33:37.610 Just buying all of Riverside up? 973 00:33:37.610 --> 00:33:39.223 - Oh man, I'm gonna lock the doors on this place. 974 00:33:39.223 --> 00:33:41.610 I'm gonna create a virtual car lot. 975 00:33:41.610 --> 00:33:42.950 You wanna drive it, 976 00:33:42.950 --> 00:33:44.030 I'll help you buy it. 977 00:33:44.030 --> 00:33:45.170 AJ's Cars. 978 00:33:45.170 --> 00:33:46.640 - This place goes under, 979 00:33:46.640 --> 00:33:47.800 it's a tax write-off, too. 980 00:33:47.800 --> 00:33:49.010 - Get outta here! 981 00:33:49.010 --> 00:33:52.120 - Yeah, and I am ready to just settle down 982 00:33:52.120 --> 00:33:54.540 and cash out, you know? 983 00:33:54.540 --> 00:33:56.397 But I am kinda thinking I wanna have 984 00:33:56.397 --> 00:33:59.720 a little bit of fun before I do that. 985 00:33:59.720 --> 00:34:01.907 (laughing) 986 00:34:01.907 --> 00:34:03.030 Yeah, you gotta get a load of this guy 987 00:34:03.030 --> 00:34:04.510 that I've hired. 988 00:34:04.510 --> 00:34:06.140 He is gonna drive this place 989 00:34:06.140 --> 00:34:07.593 right into the ground. 990 00:34:07.593 --> 00:34:08.470 (laughing) 991 00:34:08.470 --> 00:34:09.320 Here comes the general. 992 00:34:09.320 --> 00:34:10.570 - Hey. 993 00:34:10.570 --> 00:34:11.533 Hey, Bray! 994 00:34:12.402 --> 00:34:14.820 What a surprise! 995 00:34:14.820 --> 00:34:16.883 - Randy, Randy Austin, 996 00:34:16.883 --> 00:34:19.520 I want you to meet some of my fraternity guys, 997 00:34:19.520 --> 00:34:21.170 wrestling man, this is Shawn, 998 00:34:21.170 --> 00:34:22.003 - Hey! 999 00:34:22.003 --> 00:34:23.134 - No, no, no, keep it there, 1000 00:34:23.134 --> 00:34:24.990 keep it right there. - This is AJ. 1001 00:34:24.990 --> 00:34:25.926 - Hey, hey, hey there, little man. 1002 00:34:25.926 --> 00:34:28.509 (Randy groans) 1003 00:34:31.209 --> 00:34:33.257 - That's quite a grip you got there. 1004 00:34:33.257 --> 00:34:34.090 - Sorry about that, 1005 00:34:34.090 --> 00:34:36.090 sometimes I don't know my strength, huh? 1006 00:34:37.694 --> 00:34:38.900 - So, tell us, 1007 00:34:38.900 --> 00:34:41.400 how'd the orientation go? 1008 00:34:41.400 --> 00:34:42.233 - Great! 1009 00:34:44.310 --> 00:34:46.960 - Tell me you did The Great Randicki. 1010 00:34:46.960 --> 00:34:48.307 - The Great Randito. 1011 00:34:48.307 --> 00:34:51.600 Yes, oh they loved it. 1012 00:34:51.600 --> 00:34:52.810 - It's genius. 1013 00:34:52.810 --> 00:34:54.142 He has this character. 1014 00:34:54.142 --> 00:34:55.980 It's a magician. 1015 00:34:55.980 --> 00:34:58.210 It's like a magician and he uses him 1016 00:34:58.210 --> 00:35:00.103 to recruit new students. 1017 00:35:01.390 --> 00:35:02.917 - Love it, love it. 1018 00:35:02.917 --> 00:35:04.260 - All right man, all right, hey, 1019 00:35:04.260 --> 00:35:05.120 we gotta go, we gotta go. 1020 00:35:05.120 --> 00:35:06.473 We gotta run, we gotta run. 1021 00:35:06.473 --> 00:35:10.086 And, you, just hit it tonight, all right? 1022 00:35:10.086 --> 00:35:12.188 All right, you can go. All right, let's go. 1023 00:35:12.188 --> 00:35:16.051 (footsteps receding) 1024 00:35:16.051 --> 00:35:18.634 (upbeat music) 1025 00:35:23.950 --> 00:35:25.910 - So there they are. 1026 00:35:25.910 --> 00:35:29.340 The pride of The University of Las Colinas. 1027 00:35:29.340 --> 00:35:31.730 So how's the Study Hall treating you? 1028 00:35:31.730 --> 00:35:33.900 - Randy, do you take Caine and Kerry 1029 00:35:33.900 --> 00:35:35.180 to be your lawful students 1030 00:35:35.180 --> 00:35:36.980 for as long as you three shall live? 1031 00:35:38.020 --> 00:35:40.377 - What? - Oh, I'm gonna make a great minister. 1032 00:35:42.150 --> 00:35:44.310 - Gentlemen, don't forget, 1033 00:35:44.310 --> 00:35:48.230 Friday night, my first Flat Earth seminar. 1034 00:35:48.230 --> 00:35:49.063 - Oh, my God. 1035 00:35:49.063 --> 00:35:52.210 - What? - I literally had very low expectations 1036 00:35:52.210 --> 00:35:54.260 for you to begin with. 1037 00:35:54.260 --> 00:35:56.600 I don't even think there is a scale for you. 1038 00:35:56.600 --> 00:35:59.423 - Um, it's true. 1039 00:36:00.700 --> 00:36:01.533 It's damn true. 1040 00:36:01.533 --> 00:36:02.963 - No way. 1041 00:36:06.130 --> 00:36:08.595 - You know we had a name for people like that back in law school, 1042 00:36:08.595 --> 00:36:09.894 they're called pagans. 1043 00:36:09.894 --> 00:36:11.870 (sliding board drowns out voices) 1044 00:36:11.870 --> 00:36:14.220 - I think the plate in his head is flat. 1045 00:36:14.220 --> 00:36:15.170 - I'm not done yet. 1046 00:36:17.730 --> 00:36:20.020 All right, pay very close attention, 1047 00:36:20.020 --> 00:36:24.400 because this is truly forbidden knowledge, okay? 1048 00:36:24.400 --> 00:36:26.200 All right. 1049 00:36:26.200 --> 00:36:29.870 This orange represents the round earth 1050 00:36:29.870 --> 00:36:34.093 that they want you to believe in. 1051 00:36:34.930 --> 00:36:36.860 But think about it. 1052 00:36:36.860 --> 00:36:40.950 When it rains, if the Earth was really round, 1053 00:36:40.950 --> 00:36:45.730 all the water would fall right off, but no. 1054 00:36:47.720 --> 00:36:49.470 The water doesn't fall right off 1055 00:36:49.470 --> 00:36:53.573 because the Earth is actually flat. 1056 00:36:55.580 --> 00:37:00.440 See, every good farmer knows that a flat Earth 1057 00:37:00.440 --> 00:37:04.160 catches the rain and waters the crops, 1058 00:37:04.160 --> 00:37:05.973 and floods cities full of sand. 1059 00:37:09.820 --> 00:37:11.325 Understand? 1060 00:37:11.325 --> 00:37:14.160 (upbeat music) 1061 00:37:14.160 --> 00:37:15.966 - How many chances do I have to give you? 1062 00:37:15.966 --> 00:37:17.270 - I didn't even know the game was gonna be on. 1063 00:37:17.270 --> 00:37:19.990 - Then why did you have me switch seats? 1064 00:37:19.990 --> 00:37:20.920 - Well, I saw the game on, 1065 00:37:20.920 --> 00:37:22.660 you can't expect me not to watch. 1066 00:37:22.660 --> 00:37:23.870 - I do not understand your 1067 00:37:23.870 --> 00:37:25.400 obsession with football. 1068 00:37:25.400 --> 00:37:27.360 - Why can't you accept football 1069 00:37:27.360 --> 00:37:28.970 as a part of my life? 1070 00:37:28.970 --> 00:37:30.740 - Did you and football exchange vows? 1071 00:37:30.740 --> 00:37:32.030 Because we did, 1072 00:37:32.030 --> 00:37:33.500 and football is getting in the way. 1073 00:37:33.500 --> 00:37:35.208 - Only because you're right. 1074 00:37:35.208 --> 00:37:36.328 - What has a football ever done for you? 1075 00:37:36.328 --> 00:37:38.140 - I won $2,000 last year. 1076 00:37:38.140 --> 00:37:40.264 - Oh, so you're gambling again? 1077 00:37:40.264 --> 00:37:41.523 I can't. 1078 00:37:42.660 --> 00:37:45.330 Cody, you listen to me, 1079 00:37:45.330 --> 00:37:47.480 you are running out of chances with me. 1080 00:37:47.480 --> 00:37:51.130 I promise you if you mess up one more time, 1081 00:37:51.130 --> 00:37:53.640 it's over, I never gonna talk to you again. 1082 00:37:53.640 --> 00:37:55.220 You need to do something with your life. 1083 00:37:55.220 --> 00:37:57.560 You been stuck in the same dead-end job 1084 00:37:57.560 --> 00:37:58.963 for 10 years. 1085 00:38:01.438 --> 00:38:05.438 Above football, when you figure it out, call me. 1086 00:38:06.287 --> 00:38:08.080 - $2,000! 1087 00:38:08.080 --> 00:38:09.540 I won it! 1088 00:38:09.540 --> 00:38:10.373 Free money. 1089 00:38:11.697 --> 00:38:12.594 Bye. 1090 00:38:12.594 --> 00:38:15.166 (upbeat music) 1091 00:38:15.166 --> 00:38:16.263 Like that show? 1092 00:38:16.263 --> 00:38:17.555 (upbeat music) 1093 00:38:17.555 --> 00:38:18.940 (laughing) 1094 00:38:18.940 --> 00:38:21.410 - Uh, I didn't see any fake show. 1095 00:38:21.410 --> 00:38:22.900 I don't know what you're talking about. 1096 00:38:22.900 --> 00:38:24.710 - Dude, I usually have two by two drinks 1097 00:38:24.710 --> 00:38:26.170 to see a show like that. (laughs) 1098 00:38:26.170 --> 00:38:27.140 - Let me guess. 1099 00:38:27.140 --> 00:38:28.710 That little storm off over there 1100 00:38:28.710 --> 00:38:30.259 was about football. 1101 00:38:30.259 --> 00:38:32.158 (laughing) 1102 00:38:32.158 --> 00:38:35.817 - Stupid foot, not this punk again, come on. 1103 00:38:35.817 --> 00:38:38.950 - All right listen, hey, you can't, don't, 1104 00:38:38.950 --> 00:38:40.900 you can't get arrested this time, okay? 1105 00:38:42.323 --> 00:38:43.156 - What's the big idea? 1106 00:38:43.156 --> 00:38:44.410 - Uh, accidents, man. 1107 00:38:44.410 --> 00:38:45.341 - Sure it was. 1108 00:38:45.341 --> 00:38:46.637 You aren't a cop, bloop. 1109 00:38:48.010 --> 00:38:50.610 Bloop. - Yeah, but I am so calm down, all right? 1110 00:38:50.610 --> 00:38:51.670 We were just having a little fun, 1111 00:38:51.670 --> 00:38:53.140 we didn't mean to hit you buttercup. 1112 00:38:53.140 --> 00:38:55.730 - You know, just because you're wearing that badge, 1113 00:38:55.730 --> 00:38:58.630 does not mean you're not an asshole. 1114 00:38:58.630 --> 00:38:59.970 And your sister? 1115 00:38:59.970 --> 00:39:02.060 Super mega psycho? 1116 00:39:02.060 --> 00:39:03.751 Don't get me started on this little punk. 1117 00:39:03.751 --> 00:39:04.980 - Who you calling punk, chump? 1118 00:39:04.980 --> 00:39:06.400 - Mega psycho? 1119 00:39:06.400 --> 00:39:08.560 I don't think so Captain Pee-pee Pants. 1120 00:39:08.560 --> 00:39:10.370 - I'm only 17, but if you wanna pick on someone 1121 00:39:10.370 --> 00:39:11.377 your own size, come at me, bro. 1122 00:39:11.377 --> 00:39:13.430 - Hey, man, that's my family you're talking 1123 00:39:13.430 --> 00:39:14.263 about there, buddy, buddy. 1124 00:39:14.263 --> 00:39:15.810 - A family of crazies. 1125 00:39:15.810 --> 00:39:17.150 - Hey, you seriously want to try 1126 00:39:17.150 --> 00:39:18.050 to fight that guy? 1127 00:39:18.050 --> 00:39:19.930 That's hashtag super cray-cray. 1128 00:39:19.930 --> 00:39:21.180 - Dude, someone's gotta teach this family 1129 00:39:21.180 --> 00:39:22.670 of punks a lesson. 1130 00:39:22.670 --> 00:39:23.580 - Teach me a lesson. 1131 00:39:23.580 --> 00:39:25.446 I'll make sure you wind up in a cell again. 1132 00:39:25.446 --> 00:39:26.860 - That's not gonna teach me anything. 1133 00:39:26.860 --> 00:39:27.980 I'm an MMA fighter. 1134 00:39:27.980 --> 00:39:29.190 - Dude, you're like O and once, 1135 00:39:29.190 --> 00:39:30.939 you're not even that good. 1136 00:39:30.939 --> 00:39:31.962 (all laughing) 1137 00:39:31.962 --> 00:39:33.580 - Dude, why don't you shut up? 1138 00:39:33.580 --> 00:39:34.900 You wanna go? 1139 00:39:34.900 --> 00:39:36.820 - Yeah, I wanna go. 1140 00:39:36.820 --> 00:39:37.653 'Cause I'm not gonna watch you 1141 00:39:37.653 --> 00:39:38.543 get arrested again. 1142 00:39:40.480 --> 00:39:42.483 - Arrest me, I'm rich, bitch! 1143 00:39:43.540 --> 00:39:45.320 Man, just keep running your mouth, Clem. 1144 00:39:45.320 --> 00:39:47.020 I got my posse here to back me up. 1145 00:39:48.900 --> 00:39:50.543 - [Shawn] (laughing) He said no. 1146 00:39:51.580 --> 00:39:53.443 - Football, football, football. 1147 00:39:58.460 --> 00:39:59.293 - Seriously? 1148 00:39:59.293 --> 00:40:00.533 - Settle this on the field. 1149 00:40:01.403 --> 00:40:02.630 - I have two kids and a girl, 1150 00:40:02.630 --> 00:40:03.680 you know what? 1151 00:40:03.680 --> 00:40:04.513 I'll still destroy you. 1152 00:40:04.513 --> 00:40:05.830 - I don't, I don't even play football. 1153 00:40:05.830 --> 00:40:08.220 - Would you come here for a second? 1154 00:40:08.220 --> 00:40:09.763 Look, you've gotta play. 1155 00:40:10.640 --> 00:40:13.470 - Dude, it's a stupid game for stupid people. 1156 00:40:13.470 --> 00:40:14.820 - Why, because of what happened to you 1157 00:40:14.820 --> 00:40:15.653 back in high school? 1158 00:40:15.653 --> 00:40:16.486 You gotta let it go, you gotta move on. 1159 00:40:16.486 --> 00:40:18.240 - Oh, dude, stupid, dumb. 1160 00:40:18.240 --> 00:40:19.460 - This is your chance to get back 1161 00:40:19.460 --> 00:40:20.660 at that ass hat, okay? 1162 00:40:20.660 --> 00:40:22.460 - I can get back at him another way. 1163 00:40:23.340 --> 00:40:24.930 - Listen, all you do, 1164 00:40:24.930 --> 00:40:26.690 is you go out there and catch a couple of passes, 1165 00:40:26.690 --> 00:40:28.180 Cody and I will take care of everything, 1166 00:40:28.180 --> 00:40:30.140 and that's how you get back at him. 1167 00:40:30.140 --> 00:40:31.770 - I would like to rub it in that cop's face. 1168 00:40:31.770 --> 00:40:32.603 - Yeah. 1169 00:40:32.603 --> 00:40:33.436 - [Shawn] You guys ready? 1170 00:40:33.436 --> 00:40:34.670 - Yeah, one second. 1171 00:40:34.670 --> 00:40:38.620 Hey, you're gonna let that hashtag trash cop win? 1172 00:40:38.620 --> 00:40:39.920 You gonna do this or what? 1173 00:40:41.250 --> 00:40:42.083 - All right. 1174 00:40:43.600 --> 00:40:45.710 - All right, listen up ladies, 1175 00:40:45.710 --> 00:40:47.090 we're gonna play some football. 1176 00:40:47.090 --> 00:40:48.830 A couple ground rules here. 1177 00:40:48.830 --> 00:40:51.120 Two below and no fighting. 1178 00:40:51.120 --> 00:40:53.703 (upbeat music) 1179 00:41:07.290 --> 00:41:10.640 (music drowns out voice) 1180 00:41:10.640 --> 00:41:11.654 (upbeat music) 1181 00:41:11.654 --> 00:41:13.274 ♪ Still me in the driver's seat ♪ 1182 00:41:13.274 --> 00:41:15.920 ♪ Blame the whole thing on me ♪ 1183 00:41:15.920 --> 00:41:18.118 ♪ I got no reason to (mumbles) ♪ 1184 00:41:18.118 --> 00:41:19.440 ♪ What you see in me. ♪ 1185 00:41:19.440 --> 00:41:21.563 (music drowns out voice) 1186 00:41:21.563 --> 00:41:24.048 ♪ Everything I thought was white ♪ 1187 00:41:24.048 --> 00:41:26.628 ♪ I'm proving it wrong tonight ♪ 1188 00:41:26.628 --> 00:41:27.994 ♪ I got my pillows in the floorboard, ♪ 1189 00:41:27.994 --> 00:41:31.451 ♪ I just need a little more, all right, all right ♪ 1190 00:41:31.451 --> 00:41:33.667 (rock music) 1191 00:41:33.667 --> 00:41:37.167 (music drowns out voices) 1192 00:41:43.046 --> 00:41:44.580 - Dude, because you made one freaking play, 1193 00:41:44.580 --> 00:41:45.537 don't act like you actually did anything. 1194 00:41:45.537 --> 00:41:48.080 - Congrats, you beat two kids and a girl. 1195 00:41:48.080 --> 00:41:49.400 ♪ Pig in a pear tree. ♪ 1196 00:41:49.400 --> 00:41:50.233 - Tell you what, 1197 00:41:50.233 --> 00:41:51.710 my flag football team is three 1198 00:41:51.710 --> 00:41:52.707 years running champions. 1199 00:41:52.707 --> 00:41:54.690 If you guys ever want to play a real game 1200 00:41:54.690 --> 00:41:55.750 with real men, 1201 00:41:55.750 --> 00:41:56.760 we're always looking for more teams 1202 00:41:56.760 --> 00:41:57.593 for the league. 1203 00:41:57.593 --> 00:41:59.920 - Hey, hey, football is a man's game. 1204 00:41:59.920 --> 00:42:01.424 (laughing) 1205 00:42:01.424 --> 00:42:04.007 (upbeat music) 1206 00:42:05.097 --> 00:42:08.167 - Thought you said we had five coming tonight. 1207 00:42:08.167 --> 00:42:09.417 - We have five scheduled. 1208 00:42:11.480 --> 00:42:13.130 - Did you tell them the right time? 1209 00:42:13.130 --> 00:42:15.650 - I told them seven. 1210 00:42:15.650 --> 00:42:16.823 - What time is it now? 1211 00:42:18.040 --> 00:42:18.873 - Eight. 1212 00:42:20.134 --> 00:42:21.662 - Damn. 1213 00:42:21.662 --> 00:42:23.910 - Hey, thought I'd come by and check out 1214 00:42:23.910 --> 00:42:25.610 the new students before they left. 1215 00:42:27.465 --> 00:42:30.220 I guess I must have just missed them. 1216 00:42:30.220 --> 00:42:32.440 So how many did we have tonight? 1217 00:42:32.440 --> 00:42:33.883 - No one showed. 1218 00:42:34.800 --> 00:42:35.633 - Excuse me? 1219 00:42:36.560 --> 00:42:38.080 - We had five scheduled, 1220 00:42:38.080 --> 00:42:39.210 but it was just one of those nights 1221 00:42:39.210 --> 00:42:40.360 where no one showed up. 1222 00:42:41.810 --> 00:42:43.653 - Well, shit happens. 1223 00:42:44.670 --> 00:42:47.300 Randy, I need to talk to you in the office. 1224 00:42:47.300 --> 00:42:48.133 - Sure. 1225 00:42:49.400 --> 00:42:51.920 - Randy, I have to tell you, 1226 00:42:51.920 --> 00:42:54.590 I didn't want to see an empty room here tonight. 1227 00:42:54.590 --> 00:42:56.450 - Yeah, I don't understand it. 1228 00:42:56.450 --> 00:42:59.241 The Great Randito should be working. 1229 00:42:59.241 --> 00:43:02.170 - I agree, bro-be-wan-ken obi. 1230 00:43:02.170 --> 00:43:03.420 You know, but if we don't start packing 1231 00:43:03.420 --> 00:43:04.740 these halls, (groans), 1232 00:43:06.471 --> 00:43:07.850 I may have to sell the school. 1233 00:43:07.850 --> 00:43:09.810 - You can't do that. 1234 00:43:09.810 --> 00:43:12.440 No, no, no, this is the greatest 1235 00:43:12.440 --> 00:43:13.875 job I've ever had. 1236 00:43:13.875 --> 00:43:14.708 - What? 1237 00:43:14.708 --> 00:43:15.541 - [Randy] You, you can't do that. 1238 00:43:15.541 --> 00:43:16.510 - You been here a month. 1239 00:43:16.510 --> 00:43:18.130 - And I love it. 1240 00:43:18.130 --> 00:43:18.963 - Why? 1241 00:43:19.980 --> 00:43:23.007 - Because it's the greatest job ever! 1242 00:43:23.007 --> 00:43:24.360 I mean we're making a difference 1243 00:43:24.360 --> 00:43:25.320 in people's lives, 1244 00:43:25.320 --> 00:43:26.970 and we're even providing some folks 1245 00:43:26.970 --> 00:43:28.850 with a brighter future. 1246 00:43:28.850 --> 00:43:30.700 - You really believe that, don't you? 1247 00:43:31.581 --> 00:43:32.893 - Well yeah, I do. 1248 00:43:33.800 --> 00:43:35.380 - I don't wanna have to sell, 1249 00:43:35.380 --> 00:43:38.670 but I gotta get this place to be huge. 1250 00:43:38.670 --> 00:43:39.503 You know I wanna make 1251 00:43:39.503 --> 00:43:42.580 The University of Las Colinas great again. 1252 00:43:42.580 --> 00:43:44.860 You know and empty halls, 1253 00:43:44.860 --> 00:43:46.400 that's no revenue, 1254 00:43:46.400 --> 00:43:49.641 no revenue is bad for business. 1255 00:43:49.641 --> 00:43:51.160 - Oh, come on. 1256 00:43:51.160 --> 00:43:54.960 Don't go all corporate business man on me. 1257 00:43:54.960 --> 00:43:56.713 Man, I thought we were friends. 1258 00:43:59.300 --> 00:44:00.833 - We are, Randugi. 1259 00:44:02.601 --> 00:44:04.860 - [Randy] It's The Great Randito. 1260 00:44:04.860 --> 00:44:06.600 - Look, I'm a businessman, 1261 00:44:06.600 --> 00:44:09.643 and I gotta make my knack, get it? 1262 00:44:10.900 --> 00:44:13.330 All right, let's do something 1263 00:44:13.330 --> 00:44:15.180 to pack these halls. 1264 00:44:15.180 --> 00:44:16.123 Or you're fired. 1265 00:44:26.121 --> 00:44:28.704 (door squeaks) 1266 00:44:32.710 --> 00:44:35.020 - Well, that's not a happy face. 1267 00:44:35.020 --> 00:44:37.110 - He said he was going to sell if we can't 1268 00:44:37.110 --> 00:44:39.173 figure out a way to pack these halls. 1269 00:44:40.723 --> 00:44:42.380 I mean, you woulda thought my flat Earth lecture 1270 00:44:42.380 --> 00:44:43.470 would've brought them all in. 1271 00:44:43.470 --> 00:44:46.133 - Yeah, I can't imagine why that didn't work. 1272 00:44:47.180 --> 00:44:49.160 That doesn't make sense. 1273 00:44:49.160 --> 00:44:50.350 If he was gonna sell the school 1274 00:44:50.350 --> 00:44:52.280 why did he hire you? 1275 00:44:52.280 --> 00:44:53.650 - What? 1276 00:44:53.650 --> 00:44:56.200 - It makes no sense. 1277 00:44:56.200 --> 00:44:57.893 Why wouldn't he just close it? 1278 00:44:59.260 --> 00:45:00.123 - Be-cause, 1279 00:45:01.105 --> 00:45:03.688 (upbeat music) 1280 00:45:13.540 --> 00:45:17.233 - Football is the greatest game ever. 1281 00:45:18.928 --> 00:45:19.761 - Look at this guy. 1282 00:45:19.761 --> 00:45:22.593 - Football is a billion dollar industry. 1283 00:45:23.630 --> 00:45:25.410 Why do you do think the world stops 1284 00:45:25.410 --> 00:45:26.430 to watch football? 1285 00:45:26.430 --> 00:45:27.670 Watch the Super Bowl? 1286 00:45:27.670 --> 00:45:29.133 - [Man] To see Janet's boob? 1287 00:45:30.140 --> 00:45:31.640 - Because football is awesome, 1288 00:45:32.840 --> 00:45:35.463 and football is a part of my life. 1289 00:45:36.910 --> 00:45:38.660 She can't accept that football's a part 1290 00:45:38.660 --> 00:45:40.340 of my life, 1291 00:45:40.340 --> 00:45:42.787 maybe I don't need her in my life. 1292 00:45:42.787 --> 00:45:44.880 - Ew, football sucks. 1293 00:45:44.880 --> 00:45:46.020 - [Man] Bro, why do you gotta be so 1294 00:45:46.020 --> 00:45:47.323 salty all the time? 1295 00:45:48.401 --> 00:45:49.520 - Time out, time out. 1296 00:45:49.520 --> 00:45:50.950 Sit down and shut up. 1297 00:45:50.950 --> 00:45:51.783 You're bringing everyone down 1298 00:45:51.783 --> 00:45:53.092 with your failed dreams. 1299 00:45:53.092 --> 00:45:55.410 - Ding, ding, ding, ding. 1300 00:45:55.410 --> 00:45:56.243 Light bulb. 1301 00:45:56.243 --> 00:45:57.120 - [Caine] What, what? 1302 00:45:58.610 --> 00:46:01.380 - Football for the win. 1303 00:46:01.380 --> 00:46:03.490 It could save the school. 1304 00:46:03.490 --> 00:46:05.180 - Save the school from what? 1305 00:46:05.180 --> 00:46:06.821 - All right, I really shouldn't be telling 1306 00:46:06.821 --> 00:46:07.974 you all this, 1307 00:46:07.974 --> 00:46:09.660 - Then don't. 1308 00:46:09.660 --> 00:46:13.070 - But, if we don't pack the halls, 1309 00:46:13.070 --> 00:46:16.550 Bray is gonna lock the doors and shut down 1310 00:46:16.550 --> 00:46:18.200 The University of Las Colinas. 1311 00:46:18.200 --> 00:46:19.830 - Hey man, what'll happen to our 1312 00:46:19.830 --> 00:46:21.800 ne'er do well deals if that happens? 1313 00:46:21.800 --> 00:46:23.270 - Judge can revoke 'em. 1314 00:46:23.270 --> 00:46:24.820 If you don't uphold your part of the bargain 1315 00:46:24.820 --> 00:46:26.160 you could be looking at jail time. 1316 00:46:26.160 --> 00:46:29.460 - Wait, he can't legally lock the doors, can he? 1317 00:46:29.460 --> 00:46:31.580 - Private school, he can do what he wants. 1318 00:46:31.580 --> 00:46:33.153 - It's an online school. 1319 00:46:34.459 --> 00:46:36.800 - But didn't you hear my man, here? 1320 00:46:36.800 --> 00:46:40.490 Football is the most popular sport ever! 1321 00:46:40.490 --> 00:46:42.020 We get a football team, 1322 00:46:42.020 --> 00:46:43.760 and we'll pack the halls. 1323 00:46:43.760 --> 00:46:45.870 - You wanna start a football team, 1324 00:46:45.870 --> 00:46:47.953 for The University of Las Colinas? 1325 00:46:48.840 --> 00:46:50.600 - Yeah. 1326 00:46:50.600 --> 00:46:53.050 - We don't have the budget for that. 1327 00:46:53.050 --> 00:46:55.000 - Why do you always have to bring me down? 1328 00:46:55.000 --> 00:46:56.720 - I am not bringing you down! 1329 00:46:56.720 --> 00:46:58.720 I am being realistic. 1330 00:46:58.720 --> 00:47:01.253 An athletic department costs money. 1331 00:47:03.230 --> 00:47:05.280 And might I remind you 1332 00:47:06.470 --> 00:47:09.560 it is an online university. 1333 00:47:09.560 --> 00:47:11.200 - Football team for an online school, 1334 00:47:11.200 --> 00:47:12.330 yeah that'll be the day. 1335 00:47:12.330 --> 00:47:13.163 - What are we gonna do? 1336 00:47:13.163 --> 00:47:14.690 Start a tech mobile team? 1337 00:47:14.690 --> 00:47:16.378 I got the Raiders, by the way. 1338 00:47:16.378 --> 00:47:21.378 - What if I were to offer you a scholarship? 1339 00:47:21.570 --> 00:47:24.440 Play football for The University of Las Colinas. 1340 00:47:24.440 --> 00:47:25.330 You've always wanted to be 1341 00:47:25.330 --> 00:47:27.140 a college football star. 1342 00:47:27.140 --> 00:47:28.140 - I'm in! 1343 00:47:28.140 --> 00:47:30.613 - We don't have scholarships. 1344 00:47:32.500 --> 00:47:33.333 - You. 1345 00:47:34.300 --> 00:47:35.133 - I mean yeah, 1346 00:47:35.133 --> 00:47:38.450 I used to play quarterback back in high school. 1347 00:47:38.450 --> 00:47:40.280 - All right then, 1348 00:47:40.280 --> 00:47:43.170 that means there's a scholarship for you! 1349 00:47:43.170 --> 00:47:45.380 And a scholarship for you! 1350 00:47:45.380 --> 00:47:48.198 And a scholarship for you! 1351 00:47:48.198 --> 00:47:49.820 - No, no scholarship here. 1352 00:47:49.820 --> 00:47:51.170 I don't even play football. 1353 00:47:52.290 --> 00:47:54.730 - We don't have scholarships! 1354 00:47:54.730 --> 00:47:56.300 And even if we did, 1355 00:47:56.300 --> 00:47:59.962 it wouldn't be for students already enrolled! 1356 00:47:59.962 --> 00:48:02.545 (upbeat music) 1357 00:48:09.170 --> 00:48:11.150 - Gentlemen, I have some bad news. 1358 00:48:11.150 --> 00:48:13.220 The University of Las Colinas closes before your 1359 00:48:13.220 --> 00:48:15.070 first semester of classes is done, 1360 00:48:15.070 --> 00:48:16.340 the judge could revoke your deal. 1361 00:48:16.340 --> 00:48:17.430 30 days minimum. 1362 00:48:17.430 --> 00:48:18.950 - This is so unfair. 1363 00:48:18.950 --> 00:48:19.810 - The law isn't fair. 1364 00:48:19.810 --> 00:48:20.643 - Well, isn't it supposed to be? 1365 00:48:20.643 --> 00:48:21.663 - Only if you're white. 1366 00:48:23.200 --> 00:48:24.970 - There's gotta be something you can do. 1367 00:48:24.970 --> 00:48:27.310 - I'll try, I'll try everything I can. 1368 00:48:27.310 --> 00:48:28.760 The only sure fire way to keep you 1369 00:48:28.760 --> 00:48:29.900 both outta jail, 1370 00:48:29.900 --> 00:48:32.217 keep the University of Austin plans open. 1371 00:48:32.217 --> 00:48:34.800 (upbeat music) 1372 00:48:36.683 --> 00:48:38.470 - I was over at Caine's Friday night, 1373 00:48:38.470 --> 00:48:40.580 and had a few pops, 1374 00:48:40.580 --> 00:48:42.383 but I got to thinking, 1375 00:48:43.417 --> 00:48:46.130 I mean Sunshine Precious is right, 1376 00:48:46.130 --> 00:48:47.660 there's no way we can afford 1377 00:48:47.660 --> 00:48:49.403 to start a football team. 1378 00:48:51.250 --> 00:48:52.920 - Dream killer. 1379 00:48:52.920 --> 00:48:54.230 How are you gonna put my dream 1380 00:48:54.230 --> 00:48:55.680 right in front of my face, 1381 00:48:55.680 --> 00:48:58.180 and then yank it out from underneath me? 1382 00:48:58.180 --> 00:49:00.132 - You're a 40 year old man. 1383 00:49:00.132 --> 00:49:02.550 And you're still dreaming about playing college football? 1384 00:49:02.550 --> 00:49:03.460 - I'm a man! 1385 00:49:03.460 --> 00:49:06.467 I'm 40, I can be whatever I wanna be! 1386 00:49:06.467 --> 00:49:10.460 And I wanna be a star college football player 1387 00:49:10.460 --> 00:49:12.410 with a scholarship! 1388 00:49:12.410 --> 00:49:13.373 Dude, do you know how much ass we would get 1389 00:49:13.373 --> 00:49:14.760 if we were college football 1390 00:49:14.760 --> 00:49:16.310 players with scholarships? 1391 00:49:16.310 --> 00:49:19.710 - No, I mean I'm happily married, 1392 00:49:19.710 --> 00:49:22.230 you're clearly still in love with Charlotte, 1393 00:49:22.230 --> 00:49:24.510 and um, look around this dump. 1394 00:49:24.510 --> 00:49:26.150 You see any ass come walking around in here? 1395 00:49:26.150 --> 00:49:27.030 I don't think so, man. 1396 00:49:27.030 --> 00:49:30.893 Hashtag no ass in this place, at all. 1397 00:49:32.625 --> 00:49:33.930 (sighs) But, you know, 1398 00:49:33.930 --> 00:49:36.350 we do have to get the attendance up, right? 1399 00:49:36.350 --> 00:49:39.228 - Yeah, if you wanna keep this place open. 1400 00:49:39.228 --> 00:49:41.640 - (sighs) What if we started a hashtag 1401 00:49:41.640 --> 00:49:42.993 flag football team? 1402 00:49:44.100 --> 00:49:45.585 With no budget? 1403 00:49:45.585 --> 00:49:49.020 - Yeah, they did say they were 1404 00:49:49.020 --> 00:49:51.100 looking for new teams. 1405 00:49:51.100 --> 00:49:53.970 - Wait, what, what are you talkin about? 1406 00:49:53.970 --> 00:49:55.930 - Well, the other day we were at the park 1407 00:49:55.930 --> 00:49:56.990 and we played this cop 1408 00:49:56.990 --> 00:49:58.280 in a flag football game. 1409 00:49:58.280 --> 00:50:00.100 - Totally kicked his ass, by the way. 1410 00:50:00.100 --> 00:50:01.150 - But after the game, 1411 00:50:01.150 --> 00:50:03.280 he said that he was a part of a flag football 1412 00:50:03.280 --> 00:50:05.640 league and that it draws a ton of people. 1413 00:50:05.640 --> 00:50:08.870 - A flag football team? 1414 00:50:08.870 --> 00:50:11.340 What good will that do? 1415 00:50:11.340 --> 00:50:12.240 - I don't know, man. 1416 00:50:12.240 --> 00:50:14.470 But, seriously, what have you got to lose? 1417 00:50:14.470 --> 00:50:17.270 It's like there is no giant marketing team 1418 00:50:17.270 --> 00:50:18.960 that's gonna bust the doors down in here 1419 00:50:18.960 --> 00:50:21.460 with some grand plan to save this place. 1420 00:50:21.460 --> 00:50:22.490 - That's true. 1421 00:50:22.490 --> 00:50:25.030 My back is up against the wall. 1422 00:50:25.030 --> 00:50:26.880 - What you do is you take somebody 1423 00:50:26.880 --> 00:50:28.970 and you put them out in the crowd, 1424 00:50:28.970 --> 00:50:31.160 and they walk around and they recruit 1425 00:50:31.160 --> 00:50:33.400 new fam, yo! 1426 00:50:33.400 --> 00:50:35.210 That's what you do. 1427 00:50:35.210 --> 00:50:37.180 Look, I've got the website pulled up here. 1428 00:50:37.180 --> 00:50:41.840 It says all we need are six players 1429 00:50:41.840 --> 00:50:43.600 to fill out a squad. 1430 00:50:43.600 --> 00:50:44.930 - And we got three right here. 1431 00:50:44.930 --> 00:50:47.080 That's if you're up for it. 1432 00:50:47.080 --> 00:50:48.380 - Oh, hell yeah! 1433 00:50:48.380 --> 00:50:50.330 Yeah, yeah, yeah, why not? 1434 00:50:50.330 --> 00:50:52.110 And we could get Kerry, 1435 00:50:52.110 --> 00:50:53.380 and we could get Kevin, 1436 00:50:53.380 --> 00:50:54.400 get them to play. 1437 00:50:54.400 --> 00:50:55.823 - That just leave uno mas. 1438 00:50:57.600 --> 00:50:58.433 - Caine? 1439 00:50:59.270 --> 00:51:00.980 - Hey, you guys wanna take a selfie? 1440 00:51:00.980 --> 00:51:01.925 - Yeah. 1441 00:51:01.925 --> 00:51:02.926 - All right. 1442 00:51:02.926 --> 00:51:05.177 (camera clicks) 1443 00:51:05.177 --> 00:51:07.673 - Ah, all right, let me call him real quick. 1444 00:51:08.974 --> 00:51:10.400 - (laughing) Dude, I don't care 1445 00:51:10.400 --> 00:51:12.240 if it's gonna save the school or not. 1446 00:51:12.240 --> 00:51:14.010 I am not playing football. 1447 00:51:14.010 --> 00:51:16.700 - Wait, save the school? 1448 00:51:16.700 --> 00:51:18.330 - What'll save the school? 1449 00:51:18.330 --> 00:51:19.929 - They wanna start a flag football team. 1450 00:51:19.929 --> 00:51:21.290 I'm not playing. 1451 00:51:21.290 --> 00:51:23.890 - Well if it'll keep me out of the pokey, I'm in. 1452 00:51:23.890 --> 00:51:24.730 - I really don't wanna return 1453 00:51:24.730 --> 00:51:26.540 my wedding deposits, I'm in. 1454 00:51:26.540 --> 00:51:29.160 - I'm not playing football, I'm done. 1455 00:51:29.160 --> 00:51:30.884 - Hey, would you rather go to jail? 1456 00:51:30.884 --> 00:51:32.953 - I'm taking this, dude. 1457 00:51:32.953 --> 00:51:35.310 - Hey, I'm charging you for that! 1458 00:51:35.310 --> 00:51:36.840 - He's in, yes! 1459 00:51:36.840 --> 00:51:38.530 - Now that we have a team, 1460 00:51:38.530 --> 00:51:39.773 all we need is a name. 1461 00:51:40.931 --> 00:51:42.400 - It needs to be something strong, 1462 00:51:42.400 --> 00:51:44.690 something kick ass. 1463 00:51:44.690 --> 00:51:47.972 - Yeah, something real bold AF. 1464 00:51:47.972 --> 00:51:49.360 - Okay, it needs to represent the values 1465 00:51:49.360 --> 00:51:50.650 of the school, 1466 00:51:50.650 --> 00:51:53.363 but it also needs to kick ass. 1467 00:51:54.440 --> 00:51:56.040 - Beast modes. 1468 00:51:56.040 --> 00:51:57.640 - Hi guys, what's going on here? 1469 00:51:58.970 --> 00:51:59.803 What's up bro? 1470 00:51:59.803 --> 00:52:01.591 - Oh, hey Bray. 1471 00:52:01.591 --> 00:52:03.010 This is Dustin and Cody, 1472 00:52:03.010 --> 00:52:05.337 they're two of our newest students. 1473 00:52:05.337 --> 00:52:07.753 - Oh, welcome gentlemen. 1474 00:52:13.284 --> 00:52:15.950 (camera clicks) 1475 00:52:15.950 --> 00:52:17.710 - Do you remember that conversation we had 1476 00:52:17.710 --> 00:52:19.020 the other night about boosting 1477 00:52:19.020 --> 00:52:20.330 the attendance here at the school? 1478 00:52:20.330 --> 00:52:23.070 - Yes, but should we be discussing that in front 1479 00:52:23.070 --> 00:52:24.050 of the new students? 1480 00:52:24.050 --> 00:52:25.750 - Well yeah, I mean they're a big part 1481 00:52:25.750 --> 00:52:28.400 of our new recruitment project. 1482 00:52:28.400 --> 00:52:31.000 - Really, I gotta hear this. 1483 00:52:31.000 --> 00:52:32.253 What is it? 1484 00:52:32.253 --> 00:52:34.453 - A flag football team. 1485 00:52:35.380 --> 00:52:38.363 - A flag football team. 1486 00:52:40.330 --> 00:52:41.636 I love it! 1487 00:52:41.636 --> 00:52:43.150 (all talking at once) 1488 00:52:43.150 --> 00:52:46.500 Yes, yes, oh wow! 1489 00:52:46.500 --> 00:52:48.025 Yes! 1490 00:52:48.025 --> 00:52:49.412 All right, okay, so it's what, 1491 00:52:49.412 --> 00:52:53.200 The University of Las Colinas, um, 1492 00:52:53.200 --> 00:52:54.850 we gotta have a mascot. 1493 00:52:54.850 --> 00:52:56.540 What, what are we gonna do? 1494 00:52:56.540 --> 00:53:00.273 - All right, what do we do here? 1495 00:53:01.410 --> 00:53:03.010 We educate! 1496 00:53:03.010 --> 00:53:06.970 So we should be the Educators. 1497 00:53:06.970 --> 00:53:11.870 The University of Las Colinas Educators! 1498 00:53:11.870 --> 00:53:13.740 - Eh, I don't like that. 1499 00:53:13.740 --> 00:53:15.990 What kind of stupid shit is that? 1500 00:53:15.990 --> 00:53:19.694 - It's like super weak sauce, bro. 1501 00:53:19.694 --> 00:53:22.243 We'll get our ass kicked with a name like that. 1502 00:53:24.660 --> 00:53:27.630 - Let's go, Educators! 1503 00:53:27.630 --> 00:53:30.223 Yes, perfect! 1504 00:53:33.470 --> 00:53:34.720 AJ! 1505 00:53:34.720 --> 00:53:36.873 Bro, what you doing? 1506 00:53:37.740 --> 00:53:39.710 Oh, yeah, yeah, pfft, 1507 00:53:39.710 --> 00:53:40.950 the halls are empty. 1508 00:53:40.950 --> 00:53:42.620 Man, that's a done deal. 1509 00:53:42.620 --> 00:53:44.220 Oh yeah, oh yeah. 1510 00:53:44.220 --> 00:53:47.960 Oh, let's go, hit me at the real estate office 1511 00:53:47.960 --> 00:53:49.320 tomorrow morning, you know? 1512 00:53:49.320 --> 00:53:51.080 Hey, let's go get some beers beforehand, 1513 00:53:51.080 --> 00:53:52.560 get the paperwork signed, 1514 00:53:52.560 --> 00:53:53.950 lot is yours. 1515 00:53:53.950 --> 00:53:55.480 All right man, all right, all right, 1516 00:53:55.480 --> 00:53:56.313 see you then, bro. 1517 00:53:56.313 --> 00:53:57.644 All right, bye. 1518 00:53:57.644 --> 00:54:00.227 (upbeat music) 1519 00:54:05.610 --> 00:54:07.350 - All right, if I can have you sign here, 1520 00:54:07.350 --> 00:54:09.160 here, then initial here, 1521 00:54:09.160 --> 00:54:10.430 and we'll be good to go. 1522 00:54:10.430 --> 00:54:11.748 - All right, let's do this. 1523 00:54:11.748 --> 00:54:14.331 (upbeat music) 1524 00:54:23.683 --> 00:54:24.548 - Maybe I just need to get a little bit more 1525 00:54:24.548 --> 00:54:25.817 time on this. 1526 00:54:25.817 --> 00:54:26.650 - What are you talkin about? 1527 00:54:26.650 --> 00:54:28.070 Come on, Bray dog, you said you'd sell 1528 00:54:28.070 --> 00:54:29.840 if you already made that money. 1529 00:54:29.840 --> 00:54:31.662 Cash out and bro down. 1530 00:54:31.662 --> 00:54:34.743 - Maybe if I put a little more effort into this, 1531 00:54:34.743 --> 00:54:36.409 then I can make the university just, 1532 00:54:36.409 --> 00:54:37.774 - Come on, what are you talkin about? 1533 00:54:37.774 --> 00:54:40.010 (mumbles) really, I mean, 1534 00:54:40.010 --> 00:54:41.963 those losers, really? 1535 00:54:43.960 --> 00:54:45.230 Come on Bray dog. 1536 00:54:45.230 --> 00:54:47.619 (upbeat music) 1537 00:54:47.619 --> 00:54:50.766 - It's just, well, I built this place, 1538 00:54:50.766 --> 00:54:52.654 from the ground up, all right? 1539 00:54:52.654 --> 00:54:55.253 It's just hard to just let it go. 1540 00:54:56.338 --> 00:54:57.920 - Let it go. 1541 00:54:57.920 --> 00:54:58.767 Get you right out. 1542 00:54:58.767 --> 00:55:00.300 Besides you're helping a keg brother here, right? 1543 00:55:00.300 --> 00:55:02.157 This is a win-win-win deal. 1544 00:55:02.157 --> 00:55:03.823 - Yeah. - You know? 1545 00:55:03.823 --> 00:55:04.670 Sign the paper. 1546 00:55:04.670 --> 00:55:06.713 Go to a long beach vay-cay. 1547 00:55:08.312 --> 00:55:09.650 (mumbles) 1548 00:55:09.650 --> 00:55:12.215 If anything, you deserve it. 1549 00:55:12.215 --> 00:55:13.048 - Yeah? 1550 00:55:17.297 --> 00:55:21.529 Maybe I can start the University of Cancun. 1551 00:55:21.529 --> 00:55:23.370 (both laughing) 1552 00:55:23.370 --> 00:55:24.440 No, the University of Key West. 1553 00:55:24.440 --> 00:55:26.318 - There you go, now you're talking, 1554 00:55:26.318 --> 00:55:27.901 now you're talking. 1555 00:55:29.920 --> 00:55:30.753 Atta boy. 1556 00:55:30.753 --> 00:55:31.717 - All right! 1557 00:55:31.717 --> 00:55:33.520 - All right, thank you, I'll take care of this. 1558 00:55:33.520 --> 00:55:34.950 Now if you'll excuse me, 1559 00:55:34.950 --> 00:55:36.340 I gotta go practice my darts. 1560 00:55:36.340 --> 00:55:38.423 I just got swindled out of $600, 1561 00:55:39.370 --> 00:55:40.622 it was painful. 1562 00:55:40.622 --> 00:55:41.496 - Hey your mama called , 1563 00:55:41.496 --> 00:55:43.820 she says you need to come home now! 1564 00:55:43.820 --> 00:55:46.060 - Okay guys, come on, get in here. 1565 00:55:46.060 --> 00:55:48.520 - Girls, we're playing girls. 1566 00:55:48.520 --> 00:55:49.793 - I really let you talk me into this. 1567 00:55:49.793 --> 00:55:52.237 - If I didn't we might be going to county. 1568 00:55:52.237 --> 00:55:53.680 - Don't you think we should have thrown 1569 00:55:53.680 --> 00:55:55.530 at a hashtag practice? 1570 00:55:55.530 --> 00:55:56.560 - Wait, what, practice? 1571 00:55:56.560 --> 00:55:58.100 Who needs a stinking practice? 1572 00:55:58.100 --> 00:56:00.703 Now come on, aren't you horny to win? 1573 00:56:02.480 --> 00:56:03.422 - Hashtag horny win. 1574 00:56:03.422 --> 00:56:05.011 - All right, I gotta no take a look at one of 'em. 1575 00:56:05.011 --> 00:56:06.190 Be back in a second. 1576 00:56:06.190 --> 00:56:08.840 - All right, okay, now you know I could give us 1577 00:56:08.840 --> 00:56:11.230 the big motivational speech right now, 1578 00:56:11.230 --> 00:56:14.210 but, gentlemen, we're playing a bunch of girls. 1579 00:56:14.210 --> 00:56:15.100 Okay? 1580 00:56:15.100 --> 00:56:17.080 So just remember that you represent 1581 00:56:17.080 --> 00:56:19.080 The University of Las Colinas. 1582 00:56:19.080 --> 00:56:20.650 And you'll represent it with honor, 1583 00:56:20.650 --> 00:56:21.920 and with dignity. 1584 00:56:21.920 --> 00:56:24.710 So let's go out there and spank some ass! 1585 00:56:24.710 --> 00:56:26.670 Everyone, Educators on three! 1586 00:56:26.670 --> 00:56:28.104 One, two, three! 1587 00:56:28.104 --> 00:56:30.771 (drums beating) 1588 00:56:32.300 --> 00:56:33.133 Yeah! 1589 00:56:33.133 --> 00:56:34.844 - Psst, hey, hey. 1590 00:56:34.844 --> 00:56:36.250 Kerry Michaels? 1591 00:56:36.250 --> 00:56:37.083 You play on that new team? 1592 00:56:37.083 --> 00:56:38.320 - Big Daddy Sports Time? 1593 00:56:38.320 --> 00:56:39.890 What are you doing here? 1594 00:56:39.890 --> 00:56:41.940 - Making a buck anyway I can. 1595 00:56:41.940 --> 00:56:43.820 - You take bets on flag football? 1596 00:56:43.820 --> 00:56:45.060 - This league is something. 1597 00:56:45.060 --> 00:56:46.500 All these teams and their families. 1598 00:56:46.500 --> 00:56:47.840 I like the action. 1599 00:56:47.840 --> 00:56:49.760 Let me ask you something. 1600 00:56:49.760 --> 00:56:50.850 On a scale of one to ten, 1601 00:56:50.850 --> 00:56:52.550 how good do you think your team is? 1602 00:56:52.550 --> 00:56:53.870 - Well, we're playing girls. 1603 00:56:53.870 --> 00:56:54.860 So how good do we need to be? 1604 00:56:54.860 --> 00:56:56.793 You don't sleep on those Ladybugs. 1605 00:56:57.840 --> 00:56:59.280 - What's the line in our game? 1606 00:56:59.280 --> 00:57:01.100 - Ladybugs are favored by seven. 1607 00:57:01.100 --> 00:57:02.766 - What? I'll take that bet. 1608 00:57:02.766 --> 00:57:04.270 Give me the Educators plus the points. 1609 00:57:04.270 --> 00:57:06.400 - Sorry, can't bet on your own team. 1610 00:57:06.400 --> 00:57:07.720 - What? 1611 00:57:07.720 --> 00:57:09.340 - That's a whole Pete Rose can of worms 1612 00:57:09.340 --> 00:57:10.220 I'm not getting into 1613 00:57:10.220 --> 00:57:11.770 - Oh, so you're a freakin' weasel 1614 00:57:11.770 --> 00:57:12.810 with morals, now. 1615 00:57:12.810 --> 00:57:13.730 - Watch it! 1616 00:57:13.730 --> 00:57:15.360 - Hey, you still doing poker night on Fridays? 1617 00:57:15.360 --> 00:57:16.770 - Yeah, down at the warehouse. 1618 00:57:16.770 --> 00:57:17.990 - Okay, I'll see you there. 1619 00:57:17.990 --> 00:57:18.823 - Keep in mind, 1620 00:57:18.823 --> 00:57:20.670 I can also get you a flask of Chardonnay 1621 00:57:20.670 --> 00:57:22.690 or Xanax if you need it out there. 1622 00:57:22.690 --> 00:57:24.477 - Right, I'm okay, but thanks. 1623 00:57:24.477 --> 00:57:26.970 - Well, if you know of anyone send 'em my way. 1624 00:57:26.970 --> 00:57:28.540 Them poor soccer moms come out here, 1625 00:57:28.540 --> 00:57:29.960 they need something to do. 1626 00:57:29.960 --> 00:57:32.160 - Right, always trying to make a buck. 1627 00:57:32.160 --> 00:57:33.130 - Yeah. 1628 00:57:33.130 --> 00:57:33.963 - Captains. 1629 00:57:35.170 --> 00:57:36.340 - Don't worry, ladies, we're gonna take 1630 00:57:36.340 --> 00:57:37.360 it easy on you. 1631 00:57:37.360 --> 00:57:39.130 And afterwards, maybe we could all go 1632 00:57:39.130 --> 00:57:40.050 get a drink. 1633 00:57:40.050 --> 00:57:41.550 - Yeah, take it easy on us, okay. 1634 00:57:41.550 --> 00:57:43.360 You hear that, Stacy, he's gonna take 1635 00:57:43.360 --> 00:57:44.380 it easy on us. 1636 00:57:44.380 --> 00:57:45.213 - Uh huh. 1637 00:57:46.090 --> 00:57:49.138 - Whoa, not into men I see. 1638 00:57:49.138 --> 00:57:51.830 - Aw, he is angry. 1639 00:57:51.830 --> 00:57:54.396 You won't like it when he gets angry. 1640 00:57:54.396 --> 00:57:59.396 - (sniffing) Oh, I think I smell a feminist. 1641 00:57:59.850 --> 00:58:00.683 You know, ladies, 1642 00:58:00.683 --> 00:58:04.413 it really is okay to wear deodorant, really. 1643 00:58:04.413 --> 00:58:05.413 - Really is. 1644 00:58:07.472 --> 00:58:09.889 (rock music) 1645 00:59:19.799 --> 00:59:20.632 - Come on guys, 1646 00:59:20.632 --> 00:59:21.670 it was only the first game. 1647 00:59:21.670 --> 00:59:25.663 - Girls, I can't believe we lost to girls! 1648 00:59:26.520 --> 00:59:29.563 - Girls, more like freakin' athletes, man. 1649 00:59:31.030 --> 00:59:34.620 - You know, I swear, when I reached for a flag, 1650 00:59:34.620 --> 00:59:36.280 I felt a penis. 1651 00:59:36.280 --> 00:59:38.080 - I swear, at least two are post-op. 1652 00:59:38.970 --> 00:59:40.920 - They had more facial hair than we do. 1653 00:59:43.042 --> 00:59:44.322 - (mumbles) lost to girls, 1654 00:59:44.322 --> 00:59:46.477 it don't get much worse than that, like. 1655 00:59:47.988 --> 00:59:49.330 - So what do you know about the team 1656 00:59:49.330 --> 00:59:51.266 we're playing this week? 1657 00:59:51.266 --> 00:59:53.310 - Ah, let's just say they're tough. 1658 00:59:53.310 --> 00:59:55.363 The Takers aren't about winning. 1659 00:59:56.360 --> 00:59:57.633 They bring the pain. 1660 00:59:58.980 --> 01:00:00.343 - Oh, glad I'm a benchwarmer. 1661 01:00:00.343 --> 01:00:03.000 (motorcycle revving) 1662 01:00:03.000 --> 01:00:05.103 - Why do bikers wanna play football? 1663 01:00:06.125 --> 01:00:07.040 (motorcycle revving) 1664 01:00:07.040 --> 01:00:09.040 - Yeah, I don't know, bro. 1665 01:00:09.040 --> 01:00:11.490 I don't think it's for shits and giggles, though. 1666 01:00:12.540 --> 01:00:13.490 - I don't think bikers do anything 1667 01:00:13.490 --> 01:00:15.390 for shits and giggles. 1668 01:00:15.390 --> 01:00:16.430 - You think they'd be interested 1669 01:00:16.430 --> 01:00:18.470 in furthering their education? 1670 01:00:18.470 --> 01:00:19.970 - Not unless they're enrolled in some 1671 01:00:19.970 --> 01:00:21.922 sort of a meth class. 1672 01:00:21.922 --> 01:00:23.260 - All right, call it in the air. 1673 01:00:23.260 --> 01:00:25.550 - Fresh green, tails! 1674 01:00:25.550 --> 01:00:26.967 - [Ref] Tails it is. 1675 01:00:26.967 --> 01:00:30.640 - (mumbling) We'll bring the pain on Dean. 1676 01:00:30.640 --> 01:00:32.578 - You're gonna get educated! 1677 01:00:32.578 --> 01:00:33.842 (rock music) 1678 01:00:33.842 --> 01:00:36.592 (man vocalizing) 1679 01:00:41.917 --> 01:00:45.277 (music drowns out voice) 1680 01:00:45.277 --> 01:00:49.027 (rock music, man vocalizing) 1681 01:00:51.491 --> 01:00:54.147 - Another personal foul, Undertakers. 1682 01:00:54.147 --> 01:00:56.564 (rock music) 1683 01:01:10.751 --> 01:01:12.967 (man vocalizing) 1684 01:01:12.967 --> 01:01:13.800 Another personal foul, Undertakers. 1685 01:01:13.800 --> 01:01:17.550 (rock music, man vocalizing) 1686 01:01:55.620 --> 01:01:56.960 - Oh my God, you came. 1687 01:01:56.960 --> 01:01:57.800 - I did. 1688 01:01:57.800 --> 01:01:59.280 Well, I was able to drop the kids off 1689 01:01:59.280 --> 01:02:00.113 with their dad, 1690 01:02:00.113 --> 01:02:02.620 so I figured I'd take a little time for myself. 1691 01:02:02.620 --> 01:02:03.480 - Awesome. 1692 01:02:03.480 --> 01:02:07.328 - Yeah, so, I see he's here. 1693 01:02:07.328 --> 01:02:10.210 - (laughs) Shouldn't you be co-hosting 1694 01:02:10.210 --> 01:02:11.043 The View, or something? 1695 01:02:11.043 --> 01:02:12.310 - Just because I'm here doesn't mean 1696 01:02:12.310 --> 01:02:13.670 you have to talk to me, okay? 1697 01:02:13.670 --> 01:02:14.650 So, we're good. 1698 01:02:14.650 --> 01:02:17.640 - Yeah, I text her and asked her to come, 1699 01:02:17.640 --> 01:02:20.400 because I'm tired of being the only girl 1700 01:02:20.400 --> 01:02:22.290 in this sausage fest. 1701 01:02:22.290 --> 01:02:24.380 - So, rough day? 1702 01:02:24.380 --> 01:02:26.290 You guys look pretty beat down. 1703 01:02:26.290 --> 01:02:28.390 - If we had spent the past 10 hours being anally 1704 01:02:28.390 --> 01:02:30.000 probed by gray aliens, 1705 01:02:30.000 --> 01:02:31.410 that would be a rough day. 1706 01:02:31.410 --> 01:02:33.460 This was worse. 1707 01:02:33.460 --> 01:02:36.910 - We played a biker gang today. 1708 01:02:36.910 --> 01:02:39.300 Okay, a biker gang. 1709 01:02:39.300 --> 01:02:40.743 - Well, I'm sorry to have missed that. 1710 01:02:40.743 --> 01:02:42.510 That sounds amazing. 1711 01:02:42.510 --> 01:02:44.540 - Well, feel free to come to the next one. 1712 01:02:44.540 --> 01:02:46.990 - So I'll actually be there tomorrow, right? 1713 01:02:46.990 --> 01:02:47.823 - Yeah. 1714 01:02:47.823 --> 01:02:48.656 - My brother (mumbles) is playing. 1715 01:02:48.656 --> 01:02:50.430 - Who are we playing tomorrow? 1716 01:02:50.430 --> 01:02:52.313 - We are playing KEG. 1717 01:02:53.573 --> 01:02:55.350 - Sounds like a bunch of douche bags. 1718 01:02:55.350 --> 01:02:58.140 - Yep, that's my brother's team. 1719 01:02:58.140 --> 01:03:00.150 - Everybody go home and get some rest. 1720 01:03:00.150 --> 01:03:02.790 I wanna beat those beer drinking, 1721 01:03:02.790 --> 01:03:05.720 secret handshaking, circle jerking, 1722 01:03:05.720 --> 01:03:07.770 freshman hazing, roofie passing, 1723 01:03:07.770 --> 01:03:08.934 frat boy assholes! 1724 01:03:08.934 --> 01:03:11.351 (rock music) 1725 01:04:20.393 --> 01:04:21.390 - Waitress, hey, hey, 1726 01:04:21.390 --> 01:04:22.470 can I get a couple drinks? 1727 01:04:22.470 --> 01:04:24.243 Whatever she wants, whatever, you know, 1728 01:04:24.243 --> 01:04:25.076 put it on my tab. 1729 01:04:25.076 --> 01:04:27.090 - No, no, no, no, I'm good thank you, 1730 01:04:27.090 --> 01:04:28.580 I'm on my own tab. 1731 01:04:28.580 --> 01:04:29.413 I'm good. 1732 01:04:29.413 --> 01:04:30.970 - Look, I've had a bad day. 1733 01:04:30.970 --> 01:04:32.090 I need someone to talk to, 1734 01:04:32.090 --> 01:04:33.550 let's just relax. 1735 01:04:33.550 --> 01:04:34.850 - Can we get two whiskeys please, 1736 01:04:34.850 --> 01:04:35.990 but on my tab. 1737 01:04:35.990 --> 01:04:38.010 All right, so. 1738 01:04:38.010 --> 01:04:39.120 - Whiskey girl. 1739 01:04:39.120 --> 01:04:40.830 - Yes, yeah, but less talking, 1740 01:04:40.830 --> 01:04:42.377 more drinking, okay? 1741 01:04:42.377 --> 01:04:44.300 - I have a game tomorrow. 1742 01:04:44.300 --> 01:04:46.390 I'm probably gonna be sitting on the bench. 1743 01:04:46.390 --> 01:04:47.780 I mean they really want me to play, 1744 01:04:47.780 --> 01:04:49.990 but I'm just not into it. 1745 01:04:49.990 --> 01:04:53.090 - Huh, so I was wondering if you've ever thought 1746 01:04:53.090 --> 01:04:56.240 about what it's like to be a single mom, 1747 01:04:56.240 --> 01:04:59.550 who never gets to go out and meet anyone, 1748 01:04:59.550 --> 01:05:02.310 and then the one time that she does, 1749 01:05:02.310 --> 01:05:05.350 the guy's best friend ruins it 1750 01:05:05.350 --> 01:05:07.410 by picking a fight with your son. 1751 01:05:07.410 --> 01:05:08.547 - I didn't start it though. 1752 01:05:08.547 --> 01:05:09.560 - He's a kid! 1753 01:05:09.560 --> 01:05:10.393 Are you serious right now? 1754 01:05:10.393 --> 01:05:13.193 - Let's just relax and talk, okay. 1755 01:05:13.193 --> 01:05:15.053 Maybe we'll find something in common. 1756 01:05:16.540 --> 01:05:18.380 - All right, maybe you're right. 1757 01:05:18.380 --> 01:05:19.330 - Let's go, okay look, 1758 01:05:19.330 --> 01:05:21.470 let's go over to this punching machine, 1759 01:05:21.470 --> 01:05:23.830 let's get some aggression out. 1760 01:05:23.830 --> 01:05:25.705 I mean look, I'm an MMA fighter. 1761 01:05:25.705 --> 01:05:28.020 Punching things feels really good. 1762 01:05:28.020 --> 01:05:30.400 I mean you could use a little exercise, 1763 01:05:30.400 --> 01:05:31.523 but, I mean, it's, 1764 01:05:32.870 --> 01:05:34.980 being as tough as I am, 1765 01:05:34.980 --> 01:05:36.530 I'm like Hiroshima, 1766 01:05:36.530 --> 01:05:37.880 I'll be a spider monkey on that thing, 1767 01:05:37.880 --> 01:05:39.870 and, look, I can go like five, 1768 01:05:39.870 --> 01:05:41.540 maybe seven, eight times, 1769 01:05:41.540 --> 01:05:42.550 and then I can show you, 1770 01:05:42.550 --> 01:05:44.200 - Hold on, hold on, maybe you'll like it, 1771 01:05:44.200 --> 01:05:46.170 should be ladies first, right? 1772 01:05:46.170 --> 01:05:48.520 - I mean in some cultures it's like that. 1773 01:05:48.520 --> 01:05:50.540 And I mean, if that's what you're into, it's, 1774 01:05:50.540 --> 01:05:51.690 it could be, 1775 01:05:51.690 --> 01:05:54.870 but I mean if you watch me, you'll really, 1776 01:05:54.870 --> 01:05:56.890 you'll get to know me a little bit better, 1777 01:05:56.890 --> 01:05:59.370 and maybe, but I mean, it's, 1778 01:05:59.370 --> 01:06:02.856 just think about it 'cause it's, okay, all right. 1779 01:06:02.856 --> 01:06:07.856 ♪ You and me we got nothing in common ♪ 1780 01:06:09.630 --> 01:06:14.630 ♪ Never think on the same lines ♪ 1781 01:06:16.484 --> 01:06:21.484 ♪ When I see you we just argue ♪ 1782 01:06:22.489 --> 01:06:27.489 ♪ But I just can't seem to get you off my mind. ♪ 1783 01:06:29.092 --> 01:06:34.092 ♪ You're the right kind of wrong ♪ 1784 01:06:37.178 --> 01:06:42.178 ♪ I've been running away too long ♪ 1785 01:06:44.366 --> 01:06:49.366 ♪ I'm not begging, moving on ♪ 1786 01:06:49.921 --> 01:06:54.671 ♪ 'Cause you're the right kind of wrong. ♪ 1787 01:06:58.379 --> 01:07:00.629 (groaning) 1788 01:07:15.910 --> 01:07:17.280 - Maybe she's got something 1789 01:07:17.280 --> 01:07:18.113 in her purse. 1790 01:07:29.330 --> 01:07:31.230 Never seen blue headache pills before. 1791 01:07:32.440 --> 01:07:33.960 Better take two of 'em. 1792 01:07:39.469 --> 01:07:42.052 (upbeat music) 1793 01:07:45.357 --> 01:07:46.274 - I'm open. 1794 01:07:49.632 --> 01:07:53.517 I'm not that open, oh my God! (screams) 1795 01:07:53.517 --> 01:07:54.818 - K-E-G. 1796 01:07:54.818 --> 01:07:58.803 - [both Together] K-E-G, Kegmen! (whooping) 1797 01:07:59.842 --> 01:08:02.425 (upbeat music) 1798 01:08:05.139 --> 01:08:06.289 - I could play, really. 1799 01:08:07.723 --> 01:08:10.610 - Oh, oh, Caine, Caine, I'm hurt. 1800 01:08:10.610 --> 01:08:11.518 You gotta come in. 1801 01:08:11.518 --> 01:08:12.351 - Can't do it. 1802 01:08:12.351 --> 01:08:14.677 - You gotta come in bro, we need you. 1803 01:08:14.677 --> 01:08:15.890 - What's the deal, man? 1804 01:08:15.890 --> 01:08:16.980 - [Caine] I'm not doing it. 1805 01:08:16.980 --> 01:08:18.033 - Dude, don't start that shit. 1806 01:08:18.033 --> 01:08:19.590 We need you out there now. 1807 01:08:19.590 --> 01:08:21.031 - It's not that. 1808 01:08:21.031 --> 01:08:22.697 - (mumbles) We gotta go in here. - Caine, we need you, let's go. 1809 01:08:22.697 --> 01:08:23.580 - Uh uh. 1810 01:08:23.580 --> 01:08:25.970 - What's the problem? 1811 01:08:25.970 --> 01:08:27.389 - [All Together] Whoa! 1812 01:08:27.389 --> 01:08:30.010 - Hey bud, why are you so excited right now? 1813 01:08:30.010 --> 01:08:31.860 - Why'd you feel you need to show us? 1814 01:08:32.900 --> 01:08:35.493 - Okay, I've tried everything. 1815 01:08:36.989 --> 01:08:37.890 - Can't you just go to the bathroom 1816 01:08:37.890 --> 01:08:38.970 and take care of it? 1817 01:08:38.970 --> 01:08:40.170 - No, I even thought about a hammer. 1818 01:08:40.170 --> 01:08:41.090 I mean, 1819 01:08:41.090 --> 01:08:42.090 - When did it start? 1820 01:08:43.190 --> 01:08:46.450 - Last night I hooked up with this chick, 1821 01:08:46.450 --> 01:08:48.556 I got up this morning, 1822 01:08:48.556 --> 01:08:49.389 - Did you wash your hands? 1823 01:08:49.389 --> 01:08:51.033 - And came right here. 1824 01:08:51.990 --> 01:08:54.093 - Well, maybe nobody will notice. 1825 01:08:54.940 --> 01:08:55.972 - Really? 1826 01:08:55.972 --> 01:08:58.020 (all groan) 1827 01:08:58.020 --> 01:09:00.603 (upbeat music) 1828 01:09:01.710 --> 01:09:04.140 - Touchdown, Educators. 1829 01:09:04.140 --> 01:09:05.484 - Come on man, you gotta make the tackle. 1830 01:09:05.484 --> 01:09:07.270 - What, I'm not getting close to that. 1831 01:09:07.270 --> 01:09:08.103 - What? 1832 01:09:08.103 --> 01:09:09.700 - That, what if it accidentally rubs 1833 01:09:09.700 --> 01:09:10.533 up against my leg, 1834 01:09:10.533 --> 01:09:12.510 or I touch it or something? 1835 01:09:12.510 --> 01:09:13.934 That, that! 1836 01:09:13.934 --> 01:09:16.740 - Come on, that's (mumbles). 1837 01:09:16.740 --> 01:09:18.933 Man, that can't be in the books. 1838 01:09:20.840 --> 01:09:22.340 - There's nothing in the rule book about that. 1839 01:09:22.340 --> 01:09:23.173 - Oh, come on. 1840 01:09:24.100 --> 01:09:26.140 - It's common decency. 1841 01:09:26.140 --> 01:09:27.960 - I mean, you guys can play with it 1842 01:09:27.960 --> 01:09:28.920 or you can forfeit. 1843 01:09:28.920 --> 01:09:29.753 - Whoa. 1844 01:09:29.753 --> 01:09:30.648 - Play with it? 1845 01:09:30.648 --> 01:09:32.238 - I don't know, no. 1846 01:09:32.238 --> 01:09:33.120 - It's a freakin' sausage fest 1847 01:09:33.120 --> 01:09:34.777 over there, man. 1848 01:09:34.777 --> 01:09:35.677 - I can't do this. 1849 01:09:37.177 --> 01:09:38.010 - Whoo! 1850 01:09:38.010 --> 01:09:40.825 ♪ I never wanted this but now ♪ 1851 01:09:40.825 --> 01:09:45.570 ♪ I done it and I don't know how. ♪ 1852 01:09:45.570 --> 01:09:50.570 ♪ To get it back again everything I did ♪ 1853 01:09:50.849 --> 01:09:52.825 ♪ Oh yeah. ♪ 1854 01:09:52.825 --> 01:09:56.024 (rock music) 1855 01:09:56.024 --> 01:09:57.690 - What are you doing, supporting these losers now? 1856 01:09:57.690 --> 01:09:59.918 Whose team are you on? 1857 01:09:59.918 --> 01:10:00.878 - What's up brah? 1858 01:10:00.878 --> 01:10:02.150 It's just the game. 1859 01:10:02.150 --> 01:10:04.080 - Yeah well, you're supposed to have your keg brothers backs. 1860 01:10:04.080 --> 01:10:05.853 - Yeah, bro. Your keg Brothers just lost, 1861 01:10:05.853 --> 01:10:07.853 try not to be so happy about it. 1862 01:10:08.846 --> 01:10:10.863 - Well, come on guys. 1863 01:10:12.036 --> 01:10:14.380 I just got caught up in the moment. 1864 01:10:14.380 --> 01:10:15.630 - Yeah. 1865 01:10:15.630 --> 01:10:17.860 - Kappa, Epsilon, Gamma, (mumbles)! 1866 01:10:22.730 --> 01:10:24.774 - Hey, hey, 1867 01:10:24.774 --> 01:10:25.960 - Hey. 1868 01:10:25.960 --> 01:10:27.400 - Talk a minute? 1869 01:10:27.400 --> 01:10:29.140 - Look, if it was about last night, 1870 01:10:29.140 --> 01:10:30.990 that was just kind of a one-time thing. 1871 01:10:30.990 --> 01:10:32.050 We're both adults, 1872 01:10:32.050 --> 01:10:33.160 and we know what happened. 1873 01:10:33.160 --> 01:10:35.150 - What if I wanted to ask you out again? 1874 01:10:35.150 --> 01:10:38.020 - No, this is not the right time for me, okay? 1875 01:10:38.020 --> 01:10:39.790 - I mean I understand. 1876 01:10:39.790 --> 01:10:40.782 Friday? 1877 01:10:40.782 --> 01:10:42.328 Could we go out Friday? 1878 01:10:42.328 --> 01:10:44.140 - No, I mean like it's not the right time 1879 01:10:44.140 --> 01:10:45.070 in my life. 1880 01:10:45.070 --> 01:10:46.120 - Oh, I understand, 1881 01:10:46.120 --> 01:10:47.990 but any day is as good as any other, 1882 01:10:47.990 --> 01:10:49.740 and we could take it slow, 1883 01:10:49.740 --> 01:10:51.610 I could take you for dinner. 1884 01:10:51.610 --> 01:10:53.290 - Okay, you get one dinner, okay? 1885 01:10:53.290 --> 01:10:54.500 But then after that, 1886 01:10:54.500 --> 01:10:55.600 - Fair enough, one dinner. 1887 01:10:55.600 --> 01:10:58.300 I do have a question for you, though. 1888 01:10:58.300 --> 01:11:00.210 What was in that pill bottle? 1889 01:11:00.210 --> 01:11:01.600 - What pill bottle? 1890 01:11:01.600 --> 01:11:04.210 - The blue pills that were in your aspirin bottle 1891 01:11:04.210 --> 01:11:05.050 in your purse. 1892 01:11:05.050 --> 01:11:06.260 - You we're digging in my purse? 1893 01:11:06.260 --> 01:11:07.930 - I wasn't really digging, I mean, 1894 01:11:07.930 --> 01:11:10.030 they were on top and I had a headache, 1895 01:11:10.030 --> 01:11:11.690 and I, you were sleeping, 1896 01:11:11.690 --> 01:11:12.523 I didn't want to wake you, 1897 01:11:12.523 --> 01:11:15.023 and I had to get to the game. 1898 01:11:17.250 --> 01:11:20.420 - Well, clearly what you took was not aspirin. 1899 01:11:20.420 --> 01:11:21.330 - Yeah. 1900 01:11:21.330 --> 01:11:22.397 - I'm so sorry, 1901 01:11:22.397 --> 01:11:25.000 but I totally forgot I had those. 1902 01:11:25.000 --> 01:11:26.743 - You forgot you had what? 1903 01:11:27.740 --> 01:11:29.881 - Those are ED pills. 1904 01:11:29.881 --> 01:11:31.119 - You're a little freaky, aren't you? 1905 01:11:31.119 --> 01:11:32.920 - No, it's not like that! 1906 01:11:32.920 --> 01:11:34.790 Jack's father was older, 1907 01:11:34.790 --> 01:11:37.080 and so he needed help down there, 1908 01:11:37.080 --> 01:11:40.500 but, okay, clearly I need to throw them away. 1909 01:11:40.500 --> 01:11:41.333 - No you don't, 1910 01:11:41.333 --> 01:11:42.480 you can just give them to me. 1911 01:11:42.480 --> 01:11:45.320 - No, I already told you what happened last night 1912 01:11:45.320 --> 01:11:47.100 was like a one-time thing with us, okay? 1913 01:11:47.100 --> 01:11:49.360 - No, that's not what it's for. 1914 01:11:49.360 --> 01:11:51.076 We won today. 1915 01:11:51.076 --> 01:11:53.826 (rhythmic music) 1916 01:12:00.020 --> 01:12:01.030 - Hi, this is Marie Ryam, 1917 01:12:01.030 --> 01:12:02.530 with the the Ferb News Sports Edition, 1918 01:12:02.530 --> 01:12:03.363 and I'm out here 1919 01:12:03.363 --> 01:12:04.460 at the University of Las Colinas 1920 01:12:04.460 --> 01:12:05.680 with the Educators. 1921 01:12:05.680 --> 01:12:06.530 - I'm Cody Bryan, 1922 01:12:06.530 --> 01:12:08.890 a man so nice my mama named me twice. 1923 01:12:08.890 --> 01:12:09.860 And let me tell you something, 1924 01:12:09.860 --> 01:12:11.320 if you come out here to the fields 1925 01:12:11.320 --> 01:12:14.750 at Las Colinas you better bring your A game, son, 1926 01:12:14.750 --> 01:12:16.440 because the Educators, 1927 01:12:16.440 --> 01:12:17.810 we are teaching lessons. 1928 01:12:17.810 --> 01:12:19.500 We're talking about Mr. All-district, 1929 01:12:19.500 --> 01:12:21.130 Mr. Four touchdowns in one game, 1930 01:12:21.130 --> 01:12:22.170 Mr. Cody Bryan, 1931 01:12:22.170 --> 01:12:24.230 and I'm not playing it alone, baby. 1932 01:12:24.230 --> 01:12:25.470 We got Dustin Ambrose. 1933 01:12:25.470 --> 01:12:27.447 Let's take a quick selfie. 1934 01:12:27.447 --> 01:12:28.410 (camera clicks) 1935 01:12:28.410 --> 01:12:29.300 Caine Orton. 1936 01:12:29.300 --> 01:12:31.120 - Hi, I'm here with Caine Orton. 1937 01:12:31.120 --> 01:12:32.210 Caine, I heard that you 1938 01:12:32.210 --> 01:12:34.403 use performance enhancers, do they work? 1939 01:12:36.050 --> 01:12:38.910 - Not true. - [Cody] Kevin Vaughn, attorney at law. 1940 01:12:38.910 --> 01:12:40.150 - Kevin, I hear you're an attorney, 1941 01:12:40.150 --> 01:12:41.600 what are you doing back at school? 1942 01:12:41.600 --> 01:12:43.600 - That's correct, and actually I've been told 1943 01:12:43.600 --> 01:12:45.130 that I can no longer plug my firm, 1944 01:12:45.130 --> 01:12:46.360 lawandlaw.com. 1945 01:12:46.360 --> 01:12:47.540 I actually went back 1946 01:12:47.540 --> 01:12:48.790 to the University of the Las Colinas 1947 01:12:48.790 --> 01:12:50.660 to become an ordained minister. 1948 01:12:50.660 --> 01:12:52.210 I gotta tell you after those first two games 1949 01:12:52.210 --> 01:12:53.420 I thought I was gonna get some practice 1950 01:12:53.420 --> 01:12:55.530 administering some last rites. 1951 01:12:55.530 --> 01:12:57.320 But it's been a very, 1952 01:12:57.320 --> 01:12:58.540 that guy just got hurt. 1953 01:12:58.540 --> 01:12:59.740 - [Cody] Kerry Michaels. 1954 01:13:01.150 --> 01:13:02.816 - You play poker? - Yes, I do. 1955 01:13:02.816 --> 01:13:03.687 - Really? 1956 01:13:03.687 --> 01:13:04.520 - [Cody] The Great Randito. 1957 01:13:04.520 --> 01:13:05.750 - Can I have your autograph? 1958 01:13:05.750 --> 01:13:06.610 - You sure can, 1959 01:13:06.610 --> 01:13:07.490 but you know what, kids? 1960 01:13:07.490 --> 01:13:08.750 Let me tell you something. 1961 01:13:08.750 --> 01:13:11.066 The Earth is really flat. 1962 01:13:11.066 --> 01:13:13.816 (rhythmic music) 1963 01:13:17.914 --> 01:13:19.060 At the end of this season, 1964 01:13:19.060 --> 01:13:21.890 it's the University of Las Colinas Educators, 1965 01:13:21.890 --> 01:13:23.360 City Champions, baby, 1966 01:13:23.360 --> 01:13:24.513 can you dig that? 1967 01:13:25.348 --> 01:13:27.546 (camera clicks) 1968 01:13:27.546 --> 01:13:30.730 ♪ The University of Las Colinas. ♪ 1969 01:13:30.730 --> 01:13:33.530 - Hey, yeah you, loser. 1970 01:13:33.530 --> 01:13:34.680 Sitting on the couch? 1971 01:13:34.680 --> 01:13:36.670 Hanging around doing nothing? 1972 01:13:36.670 --> 01:13:37.503 I know you are because you're 1973 01:13:37.503 --> 01:13:38.623 watching daytime TV. 1974 01:13:39.590 --> 01:13:42.140 A few months ago I was just like you. 1975 01:13:42.140 --> 01:13:43.470 But the University of Las Colinas 1976 01:13:43.470 --> 01:13:44.950 changed my life. 1977 01:13:44.950 --> 01:13:46.363 I'm a football star now. 1978 01:13:48.650 --> 01:13:49.610 I have more acquaintances 1979 01:13:49.610 --> 01:13:51.840 than you could ever imagine. 1980 01:13:51.840 --> 01:13:55.190 Come join us every Monday, Tuesday, and Saturday 1981 01:13:55.190 --> 01:13:57.833 from 9:15 to 11:37. 1982 01:13:59.440 --> 01:14:02.103 You want your credit score to be above 628. 1983 01:14:02.980 --> 01:14:05.860 And we have financial aid available for you. 1984 01:14:05.860 --> 01:14:07.449 We'll see you next week. 1985 01:14:07.449 --> 01:14:08.484 ♪ Go to school ♪ 1986 01:14:08.484 --> 01:14:12.312 ♪ Don't be a fool, don't. ♪ 1987 01:14:12.312 --> 01:14:16.395 ♪ The University of Las Colinas. ♪ 1988 01:14:18.638 --> 01:14:21.356 (bird tweeting) 1989 01:14:21.356 --> 01:14:23.450 - You think you could officially 1990 01:14:23.450 --> 01:14:24.490 introduce me to your kids? 1991 01:14:24.490 --> 01:14:26.490 I mean we're kind of a thing now, right? 1992 01:14:27.430 --> 01:14:29.250 - I mean I don't know. 1993 01:14:29.250 --> 01:14:30.720 I feel like Jack really still really wants 1994 01:14:30.720 --> 01:14:31.990 to kick your ass. 1995 01:14:31.990 --> 01:14:34.070 But you need to get going, 1996 01:14:34.070 --> 01:14:36.513 time is running out. It's the big championship game. 1997 01:14:37.470 --> 01:14:39.220 - You sure you can't come? 1998 01:14:39.220 --> 01:14:41.260 - If my brother sees me on the sidelines 1999 01:14:41.260 --> 01:14:42.093 cheering for you, 2000 01:14:42.093 --> 01:14:43.660 he'll throw us both in jail. 2001 01:14:43.660 --> 01:14:45.770 - It's time to teach your brother a lesson. 2002 01:14:45.770 --> 01:14:49.687 It's the University of Las Colinas Educators time. 2003 01:14:49.687 --> 01:14:51.030 It's the championship game, 2004 01:14:51.030 --> 01:14:53.130 and we're gonna beat the league champions. 2005 01:14:54.304 --> 01:14:55.490 Kind of a wussy name, 2006 01:14:55.490 --> 01:14:56.840 - Yeah, it really is. 2007 01:14:56.840 --> 01:14:59.250 - You know I tried to get them to change it. 2008 01:14:59.250 --> 01:15:00.630 - Well, you need to just get going, 2009 01:15:00.630 --> 01:15:01.602 you're seriously gonna be late. 2010 01:15:01.602 --> 01:15:03.102 - Okay, all right. 2011 01:15:08.981 --> 01:15:13.058 ♪ Love, love, all you need is love. ♪ 2012 01:15:13.058 --> 01:15:15.543 ♪ Love, love. ♪ 2013 01:15:15.543 --> 01:15:16.513 It's that easy. 2014 01:15:21.815 --> 01:15:22.648 Look at that. 2015 01:15:22.648 --> 01:15:23.603 What the hell does he want? 2016 01:15:36.450 --> 01:15:38.530 - License and registration please. 2017 01:15:38.530 --> 01:15:39.890 - Seriously? 2018 01:15:39.890 --> 01:15:40.990 - Drinking last night? 2019 01:15:41.901 --> 01:15:43.047 - Look at you, mad too. 2020 01:15:43.047 --> 01:15:44.373 - Eh, step out of the car. 2021 01:15:45.367 --> 01:15:48.200 (mumbles, groans) 2022 01:15:53.250 --> 01:15:54.790 - Hey, burge. 2023 01:15:54.790 --> 01:15:57.270 - I see you're not cooperating, huh? 2024 01:15:57.270 --> 01:15:59.140 - Uh, your sister cooperated last night. 2025 01:15:59.140 --> 01:16:00.090 - What did you say? 2026 01:16:01.300 --> 01:16:03.319 - We're kind of a thing. (groans) 2027 01:16:03.319 --> 01:16:04.530 - I see you haven't learned your lesson 2028 01:16:04.530 --> 01:16:05.670 about talking about my family. 2029 01:16:05.670 --> 01:16:07.760 We're definitely going downtown. 2030 01:16:07.760 --> 01:16:08.690 - Am I being arrested? 2031 01:16:08.690 --> 01:16:09.870 - No, no, no, no, no, 2032 01:16:09.870 --> 01:16:11.460 you're being detained. 2033 01:16:11.460 --> 01:16:12.540 - Dude, we got that championship 2034 01:16:12.540 --> 01:16:13.373 game today, man. 2035 01:16:13.373 --> 01:16:14.999 - Yeah, but one you're not going to make it to. 2036 01:16:14.999 --> 01:16:15.990 - Dude, I didn't do anything except 2037 01:16:15.990 --> 01:16:16.963 your sister, man. 2038 01:16:18.430 --> 01:16:20.550 - I bet a lot of cabbage on you guys today. 2039 01:16:20.550 --> 01:16:21.880 - It's a lock. 2040 01:16:21.880 --> 01:16:22.800 - Listen to me, 2041 01:16:22.800 --> 01:16:24.380 I'm about to call my friends, 2042 01:16:24.380 --> 01:16:27.560 and tell 'em to put some lettuce down too. 2043 01:16:27.560 --> 01:16:30.870 These are my friends of the utmost respect. 2044 01:16:30.870 --> 01:16:32.100 - If you would take my bet, 2045 01:16:32.100 --> 01:16:34.660 I'd put my entire life savings on this game. 2046 01:16:34.660 --> 01:16:36.847 - That's good enough for me. 2047 01:16:36.847 --> 01:16:39.654 (rhythmic music) 2048 01:16:39.654 --> 01:16:41.488 (music drowns out voice) 2049 01:16:41.488 --> 01:16:42.321 - What do you guys want? 2050 01:16:42.321 --> 01:16:43.154 I'm playing a game. 2051 01:16:43.154 --> 01:16:44.060 - We'll see about that. 2052 01:16:44.060 --> 01:16:45.640 Now, you're coming with us, 2053 01:16:45.640 --> 01:16:47.543 and if you make a noise, pow pow. 2054 01:16:48.560 --> 01:16:50.460 - Any word from Caine? 2055 01:16:50.460 --> 01:16:51.293 - Don't worry about him, man, 2056 01:16:51.293 --> 01:16:52.126 he'll be here. 2057 01:16:52.126 --> 01:16:53.750 It's a championship game. 2058 01:16:53.750 --> 01:16:54.583 - Damn it! 2059 01:16:54.583 --> 01:16:56.200 Where is that kid? 2060 01:16:56.200 --> 01:16:57.033 - Again, don't worry about it, 2061 01:16:57.033 --> 01:16:58.720 but where is Kerry? He was just here. 2062 01:16:58.720 --> 01:17:00.970 - We got to have five to play. 2063 01:17:00.970 --> 01:17:02.173 - Okay, just stall. 2064 01:17:03.350 --> 01:17:05.520 - Ladies, where's your star? 2065 01:17:05.520 --> 01:17:07.182 - Don't worry about it, man, he'll be here. 2066 01:17:07.182 --> 01:17:08.700 We're just running a little late. 2067 01:17:08.700 --> 01:17:09.533 - You guys got five? 2068 01:17:09.533 --> 01:17:11.080 Are you all ready to go? 2069 01:17:11.080 --> 01:17:13.330 - Hey, did you know the Earth was flat? 2070 01:17:13.330 --> 01:17:14.163 - What? 2071 01:17:16.090 --> 01:17:18.118 - Dude, you are an idiot. 2072 01:17:18.118 --> 01:17:20.370 (rhythmic music) 2073 01:17:20.370 --> 01:17:21.510 - Tell 'em, Randy. 2074 01:17:21.510 --> 01:17:23.170 - The Earth is really flat. 2075 01:17:23.170 --> 01:17:25.776 Don't believe what they tell you. 2076 01:17:25.776 --> 01:17:27.883 - All right guys, we gotta get to the coin toss. 2077 01:17:29.713 --> 01:17:31.398 - Doesn't count. 2078 01:17:31.398 --> 01:17:32.634 - Really, doesn't count. 2079 01:17:32.634 --> 01:17:35.260 - You do it through stuff that wasn't even air. 2080 01:17:35.260 --> 01:17:39.510 And the gravity, no, isn't valid here. 2081 01:17:39.510 --> 01:17:40.900 - Oh by the way, 2082 01:17:40.900 --> 01:17:42.650 Caine might've run into the law this morning, 2083 01:17:42.650 --> 01:17:44.723 might be just a tad bit detained. 2084 01:17:45.775 --> 01:17:46.608 - [Randy] For what? 2085 01:17:46.608 --> 01:17:49.563 - Oh, it's a private matters. 2086 01:17:49.563 --> 01:17:53.090 - Dude, that hashtag ass hat cop over there, 2087 01:17:53.090 --> 01:17:54.580 he had Caine arrested this morning. 2088 01:17:54.580 --> 01:17:56.079 - For what? 2089 01:17:56.079 --> 01:17:57.510 - Didn't say. 2090 01:17:57.510 --> 01:17:58.343 - I mean it's Caine, 2091 01:17:58.343 --> 01:17:59.720 so I'm sure he did something stupid. 2092 01:17:59.720 --> 01:18:00.570 - This is harassment. 2093 01:18:00.570 --> 01:18:02.266 There's gonna be a shitstorm. 2094 01:18:02.266 --> 01:18:03.760 So what now? 2095 01:18:03.760 --> 01:18:06.710 - Guys, Educators, do you have five or not? 2096 01:18:06.710 --> 01:18:08.110 - No. 2097 01:18:08.110 --> 01:18:10.140 - No, then I have no choice 2098 01:18:10.140 --> 01:18:11.683 but to force you to forfeit. 2099 01:18:13.158 --> 01:18:15.320 (blows whistle) 2100 01:18:15.320 --> 01:18:18.544 AJ's Cars are your repeat league champions. 2101 01:18:18.544 --> 01:18:21.127 (men cheering) 2102 01:18:27.610 --> 01:18:29.777 - I'm here, I'm here, hey! 2103 01:18:30.779 --> 01:18:32.795 - You're too late, you douche canoe. 2104 01:18:32.795 --> 01:18:34.053 - You trash bag panda. 2105 01:18:35.040 --> 01:18:36.806 - What do you mean? 2106 01:18:36.806 --> 01:18:38.650 - (mumbles) into forfeit. 2107 01:18:38.650 --> 01:18:39.835 - That's not fair! 2108 01:18:39.835 --> 01:18:40.668 - You know what's not fair, 2109 01:18:40.668 --> 01:18:42.510 is your performance enhancers. 2110 01:18:42.510 --> 01:18:43.343 - You're a punk! 2111 01:18:46.450 --> 01:18:47.320 - Seriously. 2112 01:18:47.320 --> 01:18:48.475 - Dude, it's not my fault. 2113 01:18:48.475 --> 01:18:49.308 - Thanks for showing up. 2114 01:18:49.308 --> 01:18:50.200 - I got detained for no reason. 2115 01:18:50.200 --> 01:18:51.770 Why did we have to forfeit? 2116 01:18:51.770 --> 01:18:52.720 Where's Kerry? 2117 01:18:52.720 --> 01:18:53.553 - You know what, bro, 2118 01:18:53.553 --> 01:18:55.270 you got me shook, man. 2119 01:18:55.270 --> 01:18:56.190 And you're right, 2120 01:18:56.190 --> 01:18:58.280 I should have never let you play. 2121 01:18:58.280 --> 01:19:00.270 - Seriously guys, come on, man, 2122 01:19:00.270 --> 01:19:01.320 I didn't do anything. 2123 01:19:01.320 --> 01:19:03.030 - Did somebody tell you to miss the game? 2124 01:19:03.030 --> 01:19:06.130 - Hey, man, I was detained by the police. 2125 01:19:06.130 --> 01:19:08.460 Who are you? - I'm the guy that just lost a lot of dough 2126 01:19:08.460 --> 01:19:09.420 on that game. 2127 01:19:09.420 --> 01:19:10.650 - No worries, man, I'm rich, 2128 01:19:10.650 --> 01:19:11.983 I could pay you back. 2129 01:19:11.983 --> 01:19:13.420 - That don't mean anything. 2130 01:19:13.420 --> 01:19:14.510 I got a lot of friends, see, 2131 01:19:14.510 --> 01:19:17.020 that lost a lot of money on that game, too. 2132 01:19:17.020 --> 01:19:18.030 - I can pay 'em all back, 2133 01:19:18.030 --> 01:19:19.130 I've got money, man. 2134 01:19:19.130 --> 01:19:20.990 - Costing guys like that money in my world 2135 01:19:20.990 --> 01:19:22.260 makes you a marked man. 2136 01:19:22.260 --> 01:19:23.890 I don't wanna be a marked man, capice? 2137 01:19:23.890 --> 01:19:25.500 - Tell me what I can do. 2138 01:19:25.500 --> 01:19:27.320 - Well, my friend needs to have a little 2139 01:19:27.320 --> 01:19:28.900 conversation with you. 2140 01:19:28.900 --> 01:19:30.383 Then we could go from there. 2141 01:19:32.592 --> 01:19:36.490 - Guys, one heck of an effort out there. 2142 01:19:36.490 --> 01:19:38.083 You almost turned it around. 2143 01:19:39.090 --> 01:19:40.470 I am proud, man, 2144 01:19:40.470 --> 01:19:41.870 of each and everyone of you all, 2145 01:19:41.870 --> 01:19:43.423 come on, come on. 2146 01:19:44.590 --> 01:19:46.150 - Hey, what's up, vaginas? 2147 01:19:46.150 --> 01:19:47.490 Nice try out there. 2148 01:19:47.490 --> 01:19:49.460 But uh, Bray dog sold me the school, 2149 01:19:49.460 --> 01:19:52.120 so I'll be taking possession in two weeks. 2150 01:19:52.120 --> 01:19:54.460 Six months from now, school's gonna be completely closed down. 2151 01:19:54.460 --> 01:19:55.293 - What? 2152 01:19:55.293 --> 01:19:56.760 - Yeah, tell 'em, Bray dog. 2153 01:19:56.760 --> 01:19:57.820 - You mean you've already signed 2154 01:19:57.820 --> 01:19:59.227 all the paperwork? 2155 01:19:59.227 --> 01:20:00.752 - I'm sorry about it, bro. 2156 01:20:00.752 --> 01:20:03.470 But he's right, he's gonna be taking over 2157 01:20:03.470 --> 01:20:04.320 in the weeks. 2158 01:20:04.320 --> 01:20:05.400 - Hashtag Judas! 2159 01:20:05.400 --> 01:20:06.410 - What do you have in mind? 2160 01:20:06.410 --> 01:20:08.920 - Just hold your goon back for two seconds, 2161 01:20:08.920 --> 01:20:12.220 just let me go talk to these guys, cool? 2162 01:20:12.220 --> 01:20:14.040 I'll be right back, I promise. 2163 01:20:14.040 --> 01:20:15.782 - Come on, brah. 2164 01:20:15.782 --> 01:20:17.940 You don't need to be doing that. 2165 01:20:17.940 --> 01:20:18.980 You got the school, 2166 01:20:18.980 --> 01:20:19.813 you got what you wanted. 2167 01:20:19.813 --> 01:20:22.653 - What, you going softy for this crew? 2168 01:20:23.640 --> 01:20:25.360 - No, I just don't see any point 2169 01:20:25.360 --> 01:20:27.820 in you putting them down, that's all. 2170 01:20:27.820 --> 01:20:29.280 (mumbling) 2171 01:20:29.280 --> 01:20:30.323 - Hey coward. 2172 01:20:32.225 --> 01:20:33.825 Whoa, ho, ho! 2173 01:20:33.825 --> 01:20:36.492 (all clamoring) 2174 01:20:40.140 --> 01:20:42.188 - You know you just assaulted a cop, right? 2175 01:20:42.188 --> 01:20:43.780 - You hiding behind that badge? 2176 01:20:43.780 --> 01:20:44.860 - Huh, you wanna give me another reason 2177 01:20:44.860 --> 01:20:46.124 to lock you up for good? 2178 01:20:46.124 --> 01:20:50.207 - No man, one on one, (mumbles). 2179 01:20:53.066 --> 01:20:55.390 - You know I'm an All-American wrestler, right? 2180 01:20:55.390 --> 01:20:56.280 I'm gonna kill you. 2181 01:20:56.280 --> 01:20:57.430 - Real life ninja. 2182 01:20:57.430 --> 01:20:58.920 - Okay, ninja warrior, 2183 01:20:58.920 --> 01:21:00.120 I'll tell you what, you're on. 2184 01:21:00.120 --> 01:21:02.550 I'm gonna enjoy pounding your face in. 2185 01:21:02.550 --> 01:21:05.120 - Listen, bum, I've been thinking, 2186 01:21:05.120 --> 01:21:07.210 I've been thinking about becoming my own man. 2187 01:21:07.210 --> 01:21:08.043 Now give me your wallet, 2188 01:21:08.043 --> 01:21:09.140 I don't wanna have to use this thing on you. 2189 01:21:09.140 --> 01:21:10.860 - Okay, Let's go. 2190 01:21:10.860 --> 01:21:11.693 - Here take it. 2191 01:21:11.693 --> 01:21:12.526 - Thank you. 2192 01:21:13.670 --> 01:21:14.670 You only have 20 bucks in here. 2193 01:21:14.670 --> 01:21:16.620 I want the rest of our cash. 2194 01:21:16.620 --> 01:21:18.040 Right now, or else. 2195 01:21:18.040 --> 01:21:20.173 - Okay, okay. 2196 01:21:21.810 --> 01:21:23.800 It's a freakin' toy gun. 2197 01:21:23.800 --> 01:21:25.390 I just got held up by a kid 2198 01:21:25.390 --> 01:21:26.600 with a freakin'' toy gun. 2199 01:21:26.600 --> 01:21:28.150 I'm never gonna live this down. 2200 01:21:30.760 --> 01:21:31.593 I still have that. 2201 01:21:31.593 --> 01:21:33.120 - I'll take that. 2202 01:21:33.120 --> 01:21:34.470 - I was just robbed! 2203 01:21:34.470 --> 01:21:36.420 - With a toy gun. (laughs) 2204 01:21:36.420 --> 01:21:38.040 You know what's not funny? 2205 01:21:38.040 --> 01:21:39.260 Me and my friends losing money. 2206 01:21:39.260 --> 01:21:40.093 You're coming with us. 2207 01:21:40.093 --> 01:21:41.142 - No, come on guys. 2208 01:21:41.142 --> 01:21:42.049 I can explain. 2209 01:21:42.049 --> 01:21:43.049 I got a gun! 2210 01:21:46.410 --> 01:21:47.530 - Will Thompson, (mumbles) 2211 01:21:47.530 --> 01:21:48.620 I think I can help you. 2212 01:21:48.620 --> 01:21:49.985 - That's a handshake. 2213 01:21:49.985 --> 01:21:52.651 ♪ My heart is racing an adrenaline high ♪ 2214 01:21:52.651 --> 01:21:56.191 ♪ It's pumping through my veins ♪ 2215 01:21:56.191 --> 01:21:59.052 ♪ Widened up and I'm fueled with fire ♪ 2216 01:21:59.052 --> 01:22:03.040 ♪ The waiting is driving me insane ♪ 2217 01:22:03.040 --> 01:22:06.230 ♪ The crowd is crazy it's electric tonight ♪ 2218 01:22:06.230 --> 01:22:09.313 ♪ The fans are coming alive ♪ 2219 01:22:09.313 --> 01:22:12.438 ♪ The stars, the clamor, the glitter and fame ♪ 2220 01:22:12.438 --> 01:22:17.438 ♪ It's all here and waiting for me. ♪ 2221 01:22:20.203 --> 01:22:22.924 ♪ Fame, fame, let's go ♪ 2222 01:22:22.924 --> 01:22:26.453 ♪ I'm like a bomb ready to explode ♪ 2223 01:22:26.453 --> 01:22:30.017 ♪ Give me only seconds before it goes down ♪ 2224 01:22:30.017 --> 01:22:34.350 ♪ Hey, hey, how do you like me now? ♪ 2225 01:22:36.760 --> 01:22:39.510 - This better go the way you said it would. 2226 01:22:39.510 --> 01:22:43.383 Well, I hope it does. 2227 01:22:46.020 --> 01:22:47.100 - What are you too good to return 2228 01:22:47.100 --> 01:22:49.200 my calls and texts? 2229 01:22:49.200 --> 01:22:50.070 - Been training, man. 2230 01:22:50.070 --> 01:22:52.665 - Come on, you've been training for 10 years. 2231 01:22:52.665 --> 01:22:54.700 - I need to focus. 2232 01:22:54.700 --> 01:22:56.170 - All right, big, boy, hey listen, 2233 01:22:56.170 --> 01:22:57.950 we got your back, all right, so, 2234 01:22:57.950 --> 01:22:58.909 go get 'em tiger. 2235 01:22:58.909 --> 01:23:01.841 (camera clicks) 2236 01:23:01.841 --> 01:23:04.258 (slaps back) 2237 01:23:05.128 --> 01:23:06.630 - You think he's got any shot? 2238 01:23:06.630 --> 01:23:09.384 - No way man, he is dead A F. 2239 01:23:09.384 --> 01:23:11.801 (rock music) 2240 01:23:19.513 --> 01:23:22.180 (all clamoring) 2241 01:23:42.244 --> 01:23:44.994 (man vocalizing) 2242 01:24:05.358 --> 01:24:06.460 - Yes, yes! 2243 01:24:06.460 --> 01:24:07.860 - You are such a loser. 2244 01:24:07.860 --> 01:24:09.310 You call yourself an MMA fighter 2245 01:24:09.310 --> 01:24:10.480 and you just got your ass handed 2246 01:24:10.480 --> 01:24:11.756 to you in under a minute. 2247 01:24:11.756 --> 01:24:12.750 - (laughs) Yeah. 2248 01:24:12.750 --> 01:24:13.930 - Really, tough guy? 2249 01:24:13.930 --> 01:24:14.853 You next? 2250 01:24:19.716 --> 01:24:20.799 - Come on AJ. 2251 01:24:22.319 --> 01:24:23.152 I mean you going in there 2252 01:24:23.152 --> 01:24:27.250 and kicking his ass? What's that gonna prove? 2253 01:24:27.250 --> 01:24:28.100 - It's gonna make me feel a lot 2254 01:24:28.100 --> 01:24:29.203 better about myself. 2255 01:24:30.540 --> 01:24:32.543 - Come on, let's not do this. 2256 01:24:33.647 --> 01:24:34.480 Let's go. 2257 01:24:34.480 --> 01:24:35.313 - You know what, 2258 01:24:35.313 --> 01:24:36.146 I'm sick and tired of you siding 2259 01:24:36.146 --> 01:24:39.031 with these losers. You need to be siding with your keg brothers. 2260 01:24:39.031 --> 01:24:40.450 I'm gonna go kick this guy's ass, 2261 01:24:40.450 --> 01:24:42.133 you're gonna watch it, you're next. 2262 01:24:45.650 --> 01:24:46.483 - You're right. 2263 01:24:48.680 --> 01:24:50.630 Go in there and dish him out a beating. 2264 01:24:52.090 --> 01:24:53.470 - You serious? 2265 01:24:53.470 --> 01:24:55.500 I was the number one wrestler on my team. 2266 01:24:55.500 --> 01:24:56.760 You think he roughed you up? 2267 01:24:56.760 --> 01:24:58.863 You I have no idea what I'm about to do to you. 2268 01:25:00.000 --> 01:25:02.070 - Listen, let's make it interesting. 2269 01:25:02.070 --> 01:25:03.992 - Caine, stop, this isn't a good idea. 2270 01:25:03.992 --> 01:25:05.000 - Shh. 2271 01:25:05.000 --> 01:25:07.759 - You win, I give you a million dollars. 2272 01:25:07.759 --> 01:25:10.841 - (chuckles) Come on, you're not serious. 2273 01:25:10.841 --> 01:25:13.090 - My attorney's right here, ask him. 2274 01:25:13.090 --> 01:25:14.980 - Offer acceptance consideration. 2275 01:25:14.980 --> 01:25:15.950 You got a contract. 2276 01:25:15.950 --> 01:25:16.823 - And if you win? 2277 01:25:17.700 --> 01:25:18.533 - Simple, you sell me 2278 01:25:18.533 --> 01:25:20.000 the University of Las Colinas. 2279 01:25:21.490 --> 01:25:24.483 - It is a million dollars. (laughs) 2280 01:25:25.630 --> 01:25:27.430 - You're on, Frodo. 2281 01:25:27.430 --> 01:25:28.463 - Come to the shire. 2282 01:25:31.311 --> 01:25:33.821 (rock music) 2283 01:25:33.821 --> 01:25:36.488 (all clamoring) 2284 01:25:38.172 --> 01:25:40.851 (man vocalizing) 2285 01:25:40.851 --> 01:25:43.268 (rock music) 2286 01:25:44.253 --> 01:25:47.003 (man vocalizing) 2287 01:26:37.021 --> 01:26:38.950 - No, no! The property's mine! 2288 01:26:38.950 --> 01:26:40.410 - There's a sucker born every second. 2289 01:26:40.410 --> 01:26:42.283 It's just do your job to find one. 2290 01:26:43.140 --> 01:26:44.680 - Thanks for the tip, kid. 2291 01:26:44.680 --> 01:26:46.590 - I'm not selling the school. 2292 01:26:46.590 --> 01:26:47.474 - Yes you are, 2293 01:26:47.474 --> 01:26:48.720 you have a binding contract with this gentleman. 2294 01:26:48.720 --> 01:26:50.490 - Take your contract and shove it. 2295 01:26:50.490 --> 01:26:51.803 World doesn't need another school of losers. 2296 01:26:51.803 --> 01:26:53.390 - I don't like the way your talking 2297 01:26:53.390 --> 01:26:54.290 to my friend here. 2298 01:26:57.990 --> 01:26:59.810 Hey, where I come from a man is only 2299 01:26:59.810 --> 01:27:01.720 as good as his word. 2300 01:27:01.720 --> 01:27:02.770 We frown on welchers. 2301 01:27:02.770 --> 01:27:04.270 You're not a welcher, are you? 2302 01:27:04.270 --> 01:27:05.103 Maybe you'll have a little 2303 01:27:05.103 --> 01:27:06.993 conversation with Vinny, make you reconsider. 2304 01:27:10.403 --> 01:27:13.070 (all clamoring) 2305 01:27:17.230 --> 01:27:19.413 - Let AJ be his own man on this one. 2306 01:27:20.690 --> 01:27:22.830 He can fight his own fight. 2307 01:27:22.830 --> 01:27:24.360 What do you say? 2308 01:27:24.360 --> 01:27:25.193 Come on. 2309 01:27:26.080 --> 01:27:27.640 - Hashtag welcher! 2310 01:27:27.640 --> 01:27:30.223 (all cheering) 2311 01:27:32.227 --> 01:27:34.060 - Sell it that school! 2312 01:27:37.117 --> 01:27:38.913 You're gonna die, sucker! 2313 01:27:40.269 --> 01:27:42.852 (upbeat music) 2314 01:27:44.310 --> 01:27:45.530 - It is a big day 2315 01:27:45.530 --> 01:27:47.270 for the University of Las Colinas. 2316 01:27:47.270 --> 01:27:49.230 Number one, I've been named the social media 2317 01:27:49.230 --> 01:27:50.900 and marketing director for the school, 2318 01:27:50.900 --> 01:27:53.040 and I'm also here with my good pal, 2319 01:27:53.040 --> 01:27:55.890 Kevin Vaughn, what's up? 2320 01:27:55.890 --> 01:27:57.410 Head of our paralegal department 2321 01:27:57.410 --> 01:27:58.630 and so much more. 2322 01:27:58.630 --> 01:27:59.480 - I'll still take care of your 2323 01:27:59.480 --> 01:28:00.550 personal matters, though. 2324 01:28:00.550 --> 01:28:01.490 - Yeah he will. 2325 01:28:01.490 --> 01:28:03.760 Let's see what else is happening around here. 2326 01:28:03.760 --> 01:28:05.393 - The Great Randito. 2327 01:28:08.373 --> 01:28:09.330 This wouldn't have happened 2328 01:28:09.330 --> 01:28:10.430 if it weren't for you. 2329 01:28:11.970 --> 01:28:15.103 Come on, okay. 2330 01:28:16.410 --> 01:28:17.403 - I love you man. 2331 01:28:18.770 --> 01:28:23.113 - Okay, okay, that's good. 2332 01:28:24.040 --> 01:28:25.183 That's good, okay. 2333 01:28:31.207 --> 01:28:33.083 No, no, you're good. 2334 01:28:35.040 --> 01:28:40.040 University of Las Colinas Educators. 2335 01:28:43.400 --> 01:28:45.423 What a stupid name. 2336 01:28:46.691 --> 01:28:48.830 (laughing) 2337 01:28:48.830 --> 01:28:49.883 All right, guys. 2338 01:28:53.240 --> 01:28:54.770 - Aren't you supposed to be getting ready 2339 01:28:54.770 --> 01:28:55.603 for your wedding? 2340 01:28:55.603 --> 01:28:57.150 - I'd be a real jerk to show up at my wedding 2341 01:28:57.150 --> 01:28:58.313 late and drunk. 2342 01:29:00.240 --> 01:29:02.090 I had a cousin that did that once. 2343 01:29:02.090 --> 01:29:05.123 - Yeah, don't, don't be that guy. 2344 01:29:05.123 --> 01:29:07.267 Let's get a move on. - Well, you know great things are gonna happen 2345 01:29:07.267 --> 01:29:08.463 when I get back. 2346 01:29:08.463 --> 01:29:10.100 - Hey, hey, hey, 2347 01:29:10.100 --> 01:29:13.683 if you believe, you can achieve. 2348 01:29:17.450 --> 01:29:20.150 - We got the VP of relations here, 2349 01:29:20.150 --> 01:29:23.390 and the new head coach. 2350 01:29:23.390 --> 01:29:24.560 - Bill and Tom had nothing 2351 01:29:24.560 --> 01:29:25.840 on the Educators 2352 01:29:25.840 --> 01:29:27.600 because we don't deflate our balls. 2353 01:29:27.600 --> 01:29:29.010 - A sucker's born every second. 2354 01:29:29.010 --> 01:29:31.550 Now it's my job to get them to enroll here. 2355 01:29:31.550 --> 01:29:33.060 Enough business talk you all, come on, 2356 01:29:33.060 --> 01:29:34.467 let's get you married. 2357 01:29:34.467 --> 01:29:36.884 (rock music) 2358 01:29:41.440 --> 01:29:42.630 - Should be filming all these people 2359 01:29:42.630 --> 01:29:43.470 walking out to this wedding, 2360 01:29:43.470 --> 01:29:45.460 but I'm feeling myself, ha, 2361 01:29:45.460 --> 01:29:46.810 because it's all about me! 2362 01:29:46.810 --> 01:29:49.400 Right here, right here, hashtag me. 2363 01:29:49.400 --> 01:29:50.950 - Do you promise to have and to hold, 2364 01:29:50.950 --> 01:29:53.090 and do not pick on our kid anymore, 2365 01:29:53.090 --> 01:29:54.690 or steal any more blue pills? 2366 01:29:54.690 --> 01:29:57.130 - Actually, the blue pills are okay. 2367 01:29:57.130 --> 01:29:58.570 - And do you promise to, 2368 01:29:58.570 --> 01:30:00.400 - Yada, yada, can you get on with it? 2369 01:30:00.400 --> 01:30:02.530 Who dat starts in an hour. 2370 01:30:02.530 --> 01:30:03.377 - Who dat? 2371 01:30:03.377 --> 01:30:04.210 - In that case, 2372 01:30:04.210 --> 01:30:05.700 I now pronounce you husband and wife, 2373 01:30:05.700 --> 01:30:07.927 and you're all remarried. 2374 01:30:07.927 --> 01:30:10.177 (clapping) 2375 01:30:13.610 --> 01:30:15.560 - Unlike you, I actually have a conscience, 2376 01:30:15.560 --> 01:30:18.503 so you can have this back. 2377 01:30:20.220 --> 01:30:21.750 - Thanks man. 2378 01:30:21.750 --> 01:30:23.095 You play poker? 2379 01:30:23.095 --> 01:30:24.130 - No. 2380 01:30:24.130 --> 01:30:25.123 - Guys, if you really wanna be 2381 01:30:25.123 --> 01:30:26.300 bad men and bad women, 2382 01:30:26.300 --> 01:30:28.210 you need to learn a little discipline. 2383 01:30:28.210 --> 01:30:29.930 I am a ninja master, 2384 01:30:29.930 --> 01:30:31.860 and I saved this school. 2385 01:30:31.860 --> 01:30:34.910 You too, can accomplish great things. 2386 01:30:34.910 --> 01:30:36.153 I am master Caine, 2387 01:30:37.260 --> 01:30:39.260 I will be teaching your class here 2388 01:30:39.260 --> 01:30:40.910 at the University of Las Colinas. 2389 01:30:41.996 --> 01:30:43.930 This is my super hot wife. 2390 01:30:43.930 --> 01:30:44.763 What's she doing here? 2391 01:30:44.763 --> 01:30:46.173 - No one talks about my mama. 2392 01:30:48.836 --> 01:30:52.686 ♪ University of Las Colinas. ♪ 2393 01:30:52.686 --> 01:30:55.103 (rock music) 2394 01:31:03.481 --> 01:31:06.398 (woman vocalizing)