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00:00:02,000 --> 00:00:07,000
Downloaded from
YTS.MX
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Official YIFY movies site:
YTS.MX
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Terrific.
4
00:00:16,791 --> 00:00:18,458
["Never Ever" playing]
5
00:00:23,083 --> 00:00:24,041
[cell phone chimes]
6
00:00:27,125 --> 00:00:28,083
[cell phone chimes]
7
00:00:31,208 --> 00:00:32,208
[cell phone chimes]
8
00:00:33,750 --> 00:00:36,250
♪ Soft velvet and candlelight ♪
9
00:00:38,125 --> 00:00:40,333
♪ Little fears that you keep inside... ♪
10
00:00:40,916 --> 00:00:41,958
Oh, my...
11
00:00:43,500 --> 00:00:44,375
[exhales]
12
00:00:50,833 --> 00:00:52,708
Excuse me. Hi.
13
00:00:53,000 --> 00:00:53,833
Whoa!
14
00:00:53,916 --> 00:00:55,375
Wow. I-I didn't realize...
15
00:00:56,083 --> 00:00:57,875
I'm sorry. Tim. Nice to see you.
16
00:00:58,541 --> 00:01:00,750
Uh, I'm sorry. I'm gonna have
to steal her away now.
17
00:01:00,833 --> 00:01:01,833
You look great.
18
00:01:01,916 --> 00:01:04,666
And good news,
our table's ready now, so we can...
19
00:01:04,750 --> 00:01:07,250
What the hell do you think you're doing,
bro? She's with me.
20
00:01:07,333 --> 00:01:10,500
Sir, I appreciate you keeping her company,
but she's actually not with you.
21
00:01:10,583 --> 00:01:12,166
She's with me.
[chuckles]
22
00:01:12,416 --> 00:01:14,458
Believe me. You don't want
to make me cause a scene.
23
00:01:14,541 --> 00:01:15,750
[chuckles softly]
24
00:01:15,833 --> 00:01:16,958
[inhales]
25
00:01:20,625 --> 00:01:21,708
You're gonna cause a scene?
26
00:01:23,500 --> 00:01:24,333
I might...
27
00:01:24,875 --> 00:01:26,958
summon one of the managers. Sure.
28
00:01:27,041 --> 00:01:28,666
-[inhales deeply]
-No.
29
00:01:28,750 --> 00:01:30,625
I don't know what you been smoking,
30
00:01:30,708 --> 00:01:34,041
but you better back off my wife,
or I'm gonna punch a hole in your face.
31
00:01:35,333 --> 00:01:36,375
-Your--?
-[woman] Timothy?
32
00:01:36,875 --> 00:01:37,708
Is that you?
33
00:01:38,500 --> 00:01:42,000
Uh-oh. My bad.
I was at the other side of the bar.
34
00:01:42,083 --> 00:01:44,041
Ooh! I'm actually his date.
35
00:01:44,125 --> 00:01:45,875
-[chuckles]
-Melissa?
36
00:01:45,958 --> 00:01:47,000
Everybody calls me Missy.
37
00:01:47,083 --> 00:01:48,250
Sorry about the mix-up.
38
00:01:48,333 --> 00:01:50,166
Just a little blind-date blunder.
[chuckles]
39
00:01:50,250 --> 00:01:52,458
But what would you two know
about making a mistake, right?
40
00:01:53,041 --> 00:01:54,375
Okay. Let's go.
41
00:01:54,875 --> 00:01:57,791
[laughs]
I got you so good!
42
00:01:57,875 --> 00:02:00,666
Wait. Wait. You did that on purpose? Why?
43
00:02:00,750 --> 00:02:02,833
Best blind-date ice-breaker ever!
44
00:02:02,916 --> 00:02:05,750
Ice-breaker? The guy
almost broke every bone in my body.
45
00:02:05,833 --> 00:02:08,166
Yeah, it worked, didn't it?
We're loose. We're laughing.
46
00:02:08,250 --> 00:02:09,083
We're having fun.
47
00:02:09,166 --> 00:02:11,250
Oh, my God! That was so funny.
48
00:02:11,333 --> 00:02:13,916
You know what the best part is?
You passed the test.
49
00:02:14,708 --> 00:02:15,541
What test?
50
00:02:15,625 --> 00:02:18,833
The testicle test.
You showed some real nuts back there.
51
00:02:18,916 --> 00:02:19,833
I'm impressed, babe.
52
00:02:19,916 --> 00:02:21,750
It was cute. Real good.
53
00:02:22,166 --> 00:02:25,125
By the way, the age thing
doesn't concern me. What are you, 65?
54
00:02:25,208 --> 00:02:26,208
What the fuck?
55
00:02:26,291 --> 00:02:28,375
I know that's a blond wig,
and I don't care.
56
00:02:29,041 --> 00:02:33,125
Timothy, I would like to present you
with the first impression rose.
57
00:02:33,208 --> 00:02:34,208
-[Tim sighs]
-[squeaks]
58
00:02:34,791 --> 00:02:36,250
You've earned it. Boop!
59
00:02:36,333 --> 00:02:38,500
-You know, from The Bachelor. You know.
-I got it.
60
00:02:38,583 --> 00:02:40,916
-Hi. Can I start you two with anything?
-Oh, yeah.
61
00:02:41,000 --> 00:02:44,375
Let's have two tequilas,
please, señorita. [laughs]
62
00:02:44,458 --> 00:02:46,250
Actually, I don't drink,
63
00:02:46,333 --> 00:02:48,375
so I'm gonna probably just go
with a soda water.
64
00:02:48,458 --> 00:02:49,458
Whatever you have is fine.
65
00:02:49,541 --> 00:02:50,833
[groans] What?
66
00:02:50,916 --> 00:02:52,250
[laughs] Okay.
67
00:02:52,333 --> 00:02:55,166
First chink in the armor.
Mr. Perfect's not so perfect.
68
00:02:55,250 --> 00:02:56,875
But we'll fix him. [laughs]
69
00:02:57,791 --> 00:03:01,083
I'm just kidding. Don't worry. I'm a--
I'm a certified substance abuse counselor,
70
00:03:01,166 --> 00:03:03,208
so I know--
I know how to handle an alcoholic.
71
00:03:03,291 --> 00:03:04,875
I'm-- I'm not an alcoholic.
72
00:03:04,958 --> 00:03:06,583
What, just a couple DUI's?
73
00:03:06,666 --> 00:03:08,291
-No!
-"I'm not an alcoholic, sir, I swear."
74
00:03:08,375 --> 00:03:09,875
-Never.
-You a lightweight?
75
00:03:09,958 --> 00:03:11,791
-No.
-Did you piss on your friend's couch?
76
00:03:11,875 --> 00:03:14,333
-No.
-Make out at truck stops? [vocalizes]
77
00:03:14,416 --> 00:03:16,916
No. I just don't drink.
It's not that weird.
78
00:03:17,000 --> 00:03:20,125
Here's the thing. People who don't drink,
they always have a story.
79
00:03:20,208 --> 00:03:22,875
-I don't. Sorry to disappoint you.
-You don't disappoint me.
80
00:03:22,958 --> 00:03:24,958
Nothing you could do
would disappoint me. I love you.
81
00:03:25,041 --> 00:03:26,041
[laughs]
82
00:03:26,125 --> 00:03:27,833
[inhales] Wow.
83
00:03:28,750 --> 00:03:31,250
This, us, it feels like fate. Doesn't it?
84
00:03:31,916 --> 00:03:33,625
Wha... How did you meet
my grandmother again?
85
00:03:33,708 --> 00:03:35,541
-Jiffy Lube. Yeah.
-Oh.
86
00:03:35,625 --> 00:03:37,666
She's like, "My grandson
would be so perfect for you."
87
00:03:37,750 --> 00:03:39,458
I'm like, "Sign me up!" So, yeah.
88
00:03:39,541 --> 00:03:42,250
I have to visit her more often
and possibly smother her.
89
00:03:42,333 --> 00:03:43,500
-You're getting--
-Oh, am I?
90
00:03:43,583 --> 00:03:45,208
-Your hair is getting in--
-Oh, am I?
91
00:03:45,291 --> 00:03:47,166
-Do you want to get a napkin?
-Eh-eh-eh-eh.
92
00:03:47,250 --> 00:03:49,125
[whimpering]
[smacking lips]
93
00:03:49,208 --> 00:03:50,458
I don't think that's sanitary.
94
00:03:51,166 --> 00:03:52,666
Uh-- [gags]
95
00:03:52,750 --> 00:03:55,416
[clears throat] I hope I'm not
freaking you out on our first date. I--
96
00:03:55,500 --> 00:03:57,541
Well, I have to tell you,
I probably have never been--
97
00:03:57,625 --> 00:04:00,625
-[shouting] Stop eye-fucking me!
-I'm not. I'm just talking to you.
98
00:04:00,708 --> 00:04:02,041
[shouting] I'm with someone!
99
00:04:02,541 --> 00:04:05,041
We're trying to have
a romantic dinner date here!
100
00:04:05,125 --> 00:04:08,541
What do you think we're trying to have,
huh? Until you assholes interrupted us!
101
00:04:08,625 --> 00:04:11,041
Hey, my boyfriend's
gonna kick your fucking ass!
102
00:04:11,125 --> 00:04:12,708
No, he's not. I'm going to the restroom.
103
00:04:12,791 --> 00:04:14,125
-Real quick. I'll be back.
-Okay.
104
00:04:14,208 --> 00:04:16,166
Right after he gets back,
he's kicking your ass.
105
00:04:16,750 --> 00:04:17,750
[clattering]
106
00:04:21,500 --> 00:04:23,250
[Tim grunts]
[pants]
107
00:04:23,333 --> 00:04:26,000
[grunts] [pants]
Shit!
108
00:04:26,750 --> 00:04:27,625
[grunts]
109
00:04:27,708 --> 00:04:28,750
[Missy] Tim?
110
00:04:30,083 --> 00:04:31,583
[screams]
Shit!
111
00:04:31,666 --> 00:04:32,875
What you doing?
112
00:04:32,958 --> 00:04:34,458
Hey, you.
113
00:04:34,541 --> 00:04:35,375
Um...
114
00:04:35,458 --> 00:04:36,666
Good. I'm...
115
00:04:37,250 --> 00:04:38,291
You got me.
116
00:04:38,625 --> 00:04:40,291
I was climbing out the window
to run around,
117
00:04:40,375 --> 00:04:42,375
and I was gonna come back in
and sneak up on you.
118
00:04:42,458 --> 00:04:43,791
[laughs]
119
00:04:45,250 --> 00:04:47,250
[continues laughing]
120
00:04:48,625 --> 00:04:50,250
God, we are funny together.
121
00:04:50,333 --> 00:04:52,375
Are we? [laughs]
122
00:04:52,958 --> 00:04:55,000
That said, we have to leave the restaurant
right now.
123
00:04:55,083 --> 00:04:56,208
[exhales]
124
00:04:56,666 --> 00:04:58,166
Wh-Why? What happened?
125
00:04:58,250 --> 00:05:01,375
When you went to the bathroom,
Aquaman started mouthing off again.
126
00:05:01,458 --> 00:05:02,291
So, I...
127
00:05:02,583 --> 00:05:03,791
I sort of flashed him.
128
00:05:03,875 --> 00:05:06,291
You flashed him your breasts?
129
00:05:06,375 --> 00:05:09,541
No, I didn't flash him my breasts.
I showed him Sheila.
130
00:05:09,625 --> 00:05:11,583
Wh... Like, your Sheila?
131
00:05:11,666 --> 00:05:15,375
No. My friend, my protector, Sheila.
132
00:05:15,458 --> 00:05:17,875
Gah! What are you, Crocodile Dundee?
133
00:05:17,958 --> 00:05:20,708
What? It's a blind date.
What if you were some psycho?
134
00:05:21,000 --> 00:05:22,833
Then I could behead you. Hmm.
135
00:05:22,916 --> 00:05:24,916
Any way you could give me
a couple minutes in here?
136
00:05:25,000 --> 00:05:26,541
You do have to go to the bathroom now.
137
00:05:26,625 --> 00:05:27,958
-Yeah.
-[Missy] Yeah. I get it.
138
00:05:28,041 --> 00:05:30,958
When I'm dropping a deuce,
I don't want anyone talking to me, so...
139
00:05:31,041 --> 00:05:33,958
-[clicks tongue] Have a good shit, my man.
-Thank you.
140
00:05:34,041 --> 00:05:35,333
Maybe I'll take a shit, too.
141
00:05:36,291 --> 00:05:37,208
Mmm, don't have to.
142
00:05:37,291 --> 00:05:39,708
Eh, you never know. I'll push.
143
00:05:39,791 --> 00:05:40,666
See you in a bit.
144
00:05:41,500 --> 00:05:42,333
[door closes]
145
00:05:43,541 --> 00:05:44,458
[screams]
146
00:05:44,833 --> 00:05:46,000
-[thuds]
-[Tim screams]
147
00:05:46,083 --> 00:05:48,291
[screaming and crying]
148
00:05:48,375 --> 00:05:49,750
[toilet flushes]
149
00:05:52,291 --> 00:05:54,375
[continues screaming and crying]
150
00:05:55,458 --> 00:05:57,916
[Missy]
I'm coming, Tim! I'm coming!
151
00:05:58,000 --> 00:05:58,833
[Tim grunts]
152
00:05:58,916 --> 00:06:01,458
I bet you wish you had that tequila now,
huh, Tim?
153
00:06:01,541 --> 00:06:03,791
All right, I gotta pop this puppy
back into place ASAP.
154
00:06:03,875 --> 00:06:06,333
-[whimpering] No!
-Yeah. Don't worry. I'm a certified EMT.
155
00:06:06,416 --> 00:06:07,625
-No, no, no!
-One.
156
00:06:07,708 --> 00:06:08,625
-No, no!
-Two.
157
00:06:09,208 --> 00:06:10,708
-Three!
-[grunts]
158
00:06:12,083 --> 00:06:14,208
-Four!
-[screams]
159
00:06:14,291 --> 00:06:15,125
["No Roots" playing]
160
00:06:15,208 --> 00:06:18,458
♪ I've got no roots
But my home was never on the ground ♪
161
00:06:18,541 --> 00:06:22,583
{\an8}♪ I've got no roots
But my home was never on the ground ♪
162
00:06:22,666 --> 00:06:25,958
{\an8}♪ I've got no roots... ♪
163
00:06:26,250 --> 00:06:27,375
-Yeah.
-Hey, dude.
164
00:06:27,458 --> 00:06:29,500
Okay. Good news, bad news.
165
00:06:29,583 --> 00:06:33,333
First casualty of the merger.
Hanrahan got the axe.
166
00:06:33,416 --> 00:06:35,208
Ooh. Is that the good news
or the bad news?
167
00:06:35,291 --> 00:06:37,333
Okay. So, I guess it's good news
and good news,
168
00:06:37,416 --> 00:06:39,916
because you're on the short list
to replace him.
169
00:06:40,000 --> 00:06:43,250
And I mean short list
because you're short.
170
00:06:43,333 --> 00:06:44,375
[laughs] I'm just kidding.
171
00:06:44,958 --> 00:06:47,458
Ah, shit! I just remembered the bad news.
172
00:06:47,541 --> 00:06:49,791
It's down to you and "The Barracuda."
173
00:06:49,875 --> 00:06:51,458
Oh, fuck. Where'd you hear that?
174
00:06:51,541 --> 00:06:53,916
I'm the head of HR. I have access.
175
00:06:54,000 --> 00:06:55,250
[laughs] Like, what?
176
00:06:55,333 --> 00:06:57,250
And I'm glad you're seeing a shrink.
That's great.
177
00:06:58,250 --> 00:07:00,500
You don't want people to see your stuff,
use your personal email.
178
00:07:01,083 --> 00:07:04,333
Ah, fuck. So it's good news,
bad news, more bad news.
179
00:07:04,416 --> 00:07:06,708
Your ex-fiancée
is gonna be at the retreat.
180
00:07:06,791 --> 00:07:10,166
My office books the travel,
so Julia's gonna be with Rich.
181
00:07:10,750 --> 00:07:14,333
Well, from what I saw, all spouses
and significant others are welcome, so...
182
00:07:15,583 --> 00:07:16,708
It doesn't surprise me.
183
00:07:16,791 --> 00:07:18,833
Tim, I'm just concerned.
184
00:07:18,916 --> 00:07:20,791
You're concerned about what? I gotta go.
185
00:07:20,875 --> 00:07:23,833
I'm concerned about this.
Look at your screensaver.
186
00:07:23,916 --> 00:07:25,333
That's your ex-fiancée.
187
00:07:25,416 --> 00:07:26,416
That's insane, Tim.
188
00:07:26,500 --> 00:07:28,458
Why are you ordering Grubhub
seven days a week?
189
00:07:28,541 --> 00:07:29,500
Because I'm hungry.
190
00:07:29,583 --> 00:07:33,458
And did you really watch
seven episodes of The Affair last night?
191
00:07:34,041 --> 00:07:36,958
That was my personal computer.
What the fuck! You're on everything?
192
00:07:37,041 --> 00:07:38,291
Don't use the same password
193
00:07:38,375 --> 00:07:41,000
from your corporate account
to your personal account.
194
00:07:41,291 --> 00:07:42,708
That's on you.
195
00:07:42,791 --> 00:07:46,791
Dude, come on. It's been three months
since you went out with that crazy fuck.
196
00:07:46,875 --> 00:07:47,875
It was one date.
197
00:07:47,958 --> 00:07:49,583
The walking boots off,
198
00:07:49,958 --> 00:07:51,166
running shoes on.
199
00:07:51,791 --> 00:07:52,875
Run to a vagina.
200
00:07:52,958 --> 00:07:54,750
I'm not gonna go
through all that shit again.
201
00:07:54,833 --> 00:07:57,458
Fuck that girl, fuck my grandma,
and fuck you.
202
00:07:57,541 --> 00:07:59,000
-I'm off to Newark.
-[chuckling] What?
203
00:07:59,083 --> 00:08:02,166
If Miss Right is out there,
she can find me. I'm a hello away.
204
00:08:03,541 --> 00:08:05,500
Is that a line from The Affair?
205
00:08:05,583 --> 00:08:06,875
Yes, it is.
206
00:08:06,958 --> 00:08:09,500
["Times Won't Change Me" playing]
207
00:08:18,125 --> 00:08:19,958
♪ I heard it coming ♪
208
00:08:20,625 --> 00:08:22,875
♪ In every thunder, I wonder-- ♪
209
00:08:22,958 --> 00:08:24,291
-Oh.
-Oh, shit.
210
00:08:25,125 --> 00:08:26,541
-Oh.
-Oh. I'm sorry.
211
00:08:26,625 --> 00:08:28,083
Here. Yeah. No.
212
00:08:29,000 --> 00:08:30,083
Here. Here.
213
00:08:30,750 --> 00:08:31,583
Thanks.
214
00:08:35,833 --> 00:08:37,125
Jesus.
215
00:08:40,000 --> 00:08:40,875
Fuck.
216
00:08:43,125 --> 00:08:43,958
Hey.
217
00:08:45,125 --> 00:08:46,041
Here you go.
218
00:08:47,791 --> 00:08:48,666
[machine beeps]
219
00:08:49,500 --> 00:08:51,666
Sorry, sir.
Seems like you have the wrong ticket.
220
00:08:51,750 --> 00:08:52,916
What?
221
00:08:55,750 --> 00:08:57,125
Oh, shit!
222
00:08:57,208 --> 00:08:58,958
Excuse me. Pardon me.
223
00:08:59,833 --> 00:09:00,916
Sorry, guys.
224
00:09:01,708 --> 00:09:02,625
Shit.
225
00:09:06,208 --> 00:09:08,416
No, no. Coming. I'm coming. I'm com--
226
00:09:08,875 --> 00:09:10,916
Ah, you fucking pube-eater.
227
00:09:11,625 --> 00:09:12,541
[woman] Timothy?
228
00:09:15,875 --> 00:09:17,000
Melissa Doherty.
229
00:09:18,416 --> 00:09:20,833
[chuckles] I like your taste in luggage.
230
00:09:21,375 --> 00:09:22,791
[laughs]
231
00:09:23,083 --> 00:09:25,791
I mean, maybe I hit my head
when we collided, because I'm confused.
232
00:09:25,875 --> 00:09:28,250
Okay, I get we both grabbed
each other's carry-ons.
233
00:09:28,333 --> 00:09:31,333
-Yeah.
-But how did my book end up in your bag?
234
00:09:33,000 --> 00:09:33,916
Wait. This?
235
00:09:34,291 --> 00:09:35,541
No, this is my book.
236
00:09:38,166 --> 00:09:39,500
-This is my book.
-[laughs] Oh, no.
237
00:09:39,583 --> 00:09:40,416
[laughs]
238
00:09:41,000 --> 00:09:42,000
-Wow.
-What?
239
00:09:42,083 --> 00:09:42,958
Wow.
240
00:09:43,041 --> 00:09:44,375
Can I get you something to drink?
241
00:09:44,458 --> 00:09:45,875
Know what? Let me get you a drink.
242
00:09:45,958 --> 00:09:48,125
It's the least I can do
for making you miss your flight.
243
00:09:48,208 --> 00:09:49,666
Actually, I don't drink.
244
00:09:49,750 --> 00:09:51,583
I'll just have a club soda with a lime.
245
00:09:52,250 --> 00:09:54,500
You don't drink? I, uh...
I'll have the same thing.
246
00:09:54,583 --> 00:09:55,500
I don't drink either.
247
00:09:55,583 --> 00:09:58,000
I hope you're not saying that
to make me feel more comfortable,
248
00:09:58,083 --> 00:10:01,500
-because I'm totally okay if you want--
-[chuckling] No, I swear. I don't drink.
249
00:10:01,583 --> 00:10:02,416
Is it just me,
250
00:10:02,500 --> 00:10:06,375
or does everyone automatically assume
you're some total booze-bag?
251
00:10:06,458 --> 00:10:08,541
-[laughs] A hundred percent.
-[laughs]
252
00:10:08,625 --> 00:10:10,166
-Everybody!
-Everybody!
253
00:10:10,250 --> 00:10:12,541
-[Tim] No, those guys are great.
-[Melissa] Amazing.
254
00:10:12,625 --> 00:10:14,000
[Tim] I like all those bands.
255
00:10:14,083 --> 00:10:16,666
By the way, I was supposed
to see Phil Collins, right?
256
00:10:16,750 --> 00:10:17,625
I love him.
257
00:10:17,708 --> 00:10:21,083
And my friend talks me
into the VR version,
258
00:10:21,375 --> 00:10:22,333
that stupid shit,
259
00:10:22,416 --> 00:10:25,166
instead of going live to the show,
which is great. And I do it.
260
00:10:25,250 --> 00:10:27,541
I'm not even talking to him anymore.
It was not even close.
261
00:10:27,625 --> 00:10:28,750
-I am so with you.
-Horrible.
262
00:10:28,833 --> 00:10:30,250
-I mean, those things suck.
-Yeah.
263
00:10:30,333 --> 00:10:32,916
I'm not happy unless I'm deaf for a week
after a concert.
264
00:10:33,000 --> 00:10:34,208
-Exactly.
-Yeah.
265
00:10:36,416 --> 00:10:39,750
I have to say, this has turned out
to be the best time I've had with a guy
266
00:10:39,833 --> 00:10:40,875
in a really long time.
267
00:10:40,958 --> 00:10:43,250
-Me too. Me too. With a girl.
-[chuckles]
268
00:10:43,333 --> 00:10:44,666
But that's not saying that much.
269
00:10:44,750 --> 00:10:46,666
My closest relationship right now
270
00:10:46,750 --> 00:10:49,458
is embarrassingly
with the Grubhub delivery guy.
271
00:10:49,541 --> 00:10:50,541
-[laughs] St--
-He's nice.
272
00:10:50,625 --> 00:10:53,083
He really pushes me
out of my comfort zone.
273
00:10:53,166 --> 00:10:56,541
I invited him in to watch The Affair,
innocently, because it's a good show,
274
00:10:56,625 --> 00:10:59,333
and, uh, he's like,
"I gotta go deliver shit."
275
00:10:59,416 --> 00:11:01,041
-Hmm.
-Like, he's being really weird.
276
00:11:01,125 --> 00:11:02,916
-The Affair, huh?
-Yeah.
277
00:11:03,000 --> 00:11:04,750
-Yeah.
-I'm tell-- I think you would like it.
278
00:11:04,833 --> 00:11:07,125
I hear good things. I just... [inhales]
279
00:11:07,208 --> 00:11:08,833
It hits a little bit too close to home.
280
00:11:08,916 --> 00:11:09,791
Oh.
281
00:11:10,333 --> 00:11:11,958
My husband had an affair.
282
00:11:12,041 --> 00:11:13,166
[softly]
No!
283
00:11:13,250 --> 00:11:15,833
I suppose I should say my ex-husband.
284
00:11:17,250 --> 00:11:20,000
I have an ex-fiancée
for the exact same reason.
285
00:11:26,583 --> 00:11:28,125
[grunts] Oh, shit.
286
00:11:30,333 --> 00:11:31,208
Is this a bad idea?
287
00:11:31,291 --> 00:11:32,666
-No! No, not at all.
-Oh, okay.
288
00:11:32,750 --> 00:11:34,166
-[moaning]
-[giggles]
289
00:11:34,708 --> 00:11:35,541
Okay.
290
00:11:35,625 --> 00:11:38,416
[woman] This is the final boarding call
for flight 452 to Atlanta.
291
00:11:38,500 --> 00:11:40,833
Shit. That's me. I gotta go.
I have a meeting in the morning.
292
00:11:40,916 --> 00:11:41,916
I cannot miss this flight.
293
00:11:42,000 --> 00:11:43,500
-Yeah. For sure.
-Okay. All right.
294
00:11:43,583 --> 00:11:45,750
All right. Uh, wait. Can I get...
Can I get your number?
295
00:11:45,833 --> 00:11:47,416
-What's your number?
-Oh, my number.
296
00:11:47,500 --> 00:11:48,875
-Yeah.
-Uh, mine's 503...
297
00:11:49,833 --> 00:11:51,333
555-0131.
298
00:11:52,125 --> 00:11:53,875
-I sent you my contact.
-Okay, good.
299
00:11:53,958 --> 00:11:55,375
-[shrieks]
-Bye.
300
00:11:55,958 --> 00:11:57,916
-To be continued. Okay.
-Yeah, for sure.
301
00:11:58,458 --> 00:12:00,541
Oh, wait! Shit! You got
the wrong bag again.
302
00:12:00,625 --> 00:12:02,458
-[shrieks]
-[laughs]
303
00:12:02,541 --> 00:12:03,500
-Okay.
-[Tim] Bye.
304
00:12:04,083 --> 00:12:06,500
[panting]
305
00:12:06,583 --> 00:12:07,708
Oh, shit.
306
00:12:08,750 --> 00:12:10,000
Oh, my God.
307
00:12:10,958 --> 00:12:11,791
[exhales]
308
00:12:12,333 --> 00:12:13,166
Oh.
309
00:12:14,583 --> 00:12:15,708
[cell phone chimes]
310
00:12:15,791 --> 00:12:16,625
Oh.
311
00:12:19,000 --> 00:12:20,041
[whispering ]Yes!
312
00:12:20,125 --> 00:12:21,416
["Portland" playing]
313
00:12:21,500 --> 00:12:22,541
Fuck!
314
00:12:22,625 --> 00:12:24,958
♪ The way I wanna know you? ♪
315
00:12:25,041 --> 00:12:27,833
♪ Got several hundred stupid things ♪
316
00:12:27,916 --> 00:12:30,083
♪ That I wanna show you ♪
317
00:12:30,375 --> 00:12:32,625
♪ I punched out all the windows ♪
318
00:12:33,041 --> 00:12:35,041
♪ Just to get some light ♪
319
00:12:35,375 --> 00:12:38,041
♪ So I can give you everything ♪
320
00:12:38,125 --> 00:12:40,208
♪ It keeps me up at night... ♪
321
00:12:40,708 --> 00:12:42,375
[groans]
322
00:12:42,458 --> 00:12:43,291
[chuckles]
323
00:12:43,375 --> 00:12:45,541
♪ Who only wants a ghost ♪
324
00:12:45,625 --> 00:12:48,375
♪ Yeah, I would drop everything ♪
325
00:12:48,458 --> 00:12:50,083
♪ And drive up the damn coast... ♪
326
00:12:50,166 --> 00:12:51,083
So dumb.
327
00:12:51,166 --> 00:12:53,375
♪ Portland has nothing ♪
328
00:12:53,458 --> 00:12:57,500
♪ Especially not me ♪
329
00:12:57,583 --> 00:13:00,583
♪ How am I supposed to sleep tonight... ♪
330
00:13:00,666 --> 00:13:01,500
Shoot.
331
00:13:03,041 --> 00:13:03,916
[sighs]
332
00:13:06,333 --> 00:13:09,083
"I know it's been a bit
since we saw each other,
333
00:13:09,166 --> 00:13:11,500
but that was a hell of a first date.
334
00:13:12,583 --> 00:13:17,041
I've tried to hold off texting,
but I... can't stop thinking about you."
335
00:13:22,041 --> 00:13:23,000
[message transmits]
336
00:13:23,416 --> 00:13:24,333
[sighs]
337
00:13:24,416 --> 00:13:25,375
[cell phone chimes]
338
00:13:27,666 --> 00:13:28,958
[chuckles]
339
00:13:29,041 --> 00:13:31,250
Fuck, yes!
340
00:13:31,833 --> 00:13:32,875
Now, give it a second.
341
00:13:33,791 --> 00:13:36,625
[man on TV] Bears getting into garbage
has become a common theme
342
00:13:36,708 --> 00:13:38,666
as of late in the Newark area.
343
00:13:39,416 --> 00:13:40,375
[cell phone chimes]
344
00:13:41,833 --> 00:13:42,666
Mmm.
345
00:13:42,750 --> 00:13:46,500
[man on TV] ...inside until trash day,
and if you have to put it out early...
346
00:13:46,583 --> 00:13:48,500
-[sighs] "In bed."
-[message transmits]
347
00:13:48,583 --> 00:13:50,041
Boring answer.
348
00:13:51,125 --> 00:13:52,083
[cell phone chimes]
349
00:13:52,166 --> 00:13:53,541
[TV continues indistinctly]
350
00:13:54,500 --> 00:13:55,416
[inhales]
351
00:13:55,500 --> 00:13:57,708
Here comes another one. "Pajamas."
352
00:13:57,791 --> 00:13:58,750
[message transmits]
353
00:13:59,916 --> 00:14:00,875
[cell phone chimes]
354
00:14:05,041 --> 00:14:05,875
What?
355
00:14:06,416 --> 00:14:07,458
[cell phone chimes]
356
00:14:10,333 --> 00:14:11,958
A wiener picture?
357
00:14:12,041 --> 00:14:13,375
[exhales nervously]
358
00:14:15,333 --> 00:14:17,666
God! Is this what people do?
359
00:14:18,833 --> 00:14:19,666
[sighs]
360
00:14:20,791 --> 00:14:23,500
All right, I gotta play along. Here we go.
361
00:14:27,083 --> 00:14:28,041
[camera shutter clicks]
362
00:14:28,583 --> 00:14:29,583
[laughs]
363
00:14:30,791 --> 00:14:31,833
Oh, God.
364
00:14:32,916 --> 00:14:35,458
Dude, I thought you were full of shit.
I was, like, there's no way.
365
00:14:35,541 --> 00:14:38,625
And then, when you started
just rattling off those wiener pics...
366
00:14:38,708 --> 00:14:40,916
Just, like... It was, like, wieners.
367
00:14:41,000 --> 00:14:43,291
How did you... I mean,
I changed all of my passwords.
368
00:14:43,375 --> 00:14:44,500
Yeah. I know, but...
369
00:14:44,583 --> 00:14:46,708
Your mother's maiden name
and the last four of your soc,
370
00:14:46,791 --> 00:14:47,958
it's like...
371
00:14:48,041 --> 00:14:49,708
Anyway, here's the deal.
372
00:14:50,375 --> 00:14:52,625
Twenty years ago,
they started a thing called "manscaping."
373
00:14:52,708 --> 00:14:54,541
Where you just kind of clean the brush.
374
00:14:54,625 --> 00:14:56,875
Some girls, they like it.
375
00:14:56,958 --> 00:14:59,208
No, they don't. They don't at all.
376
00:14:59,291 --> 00:15:01,208
I looked at your photos, and I was like,
377
00:15:01,291 --> 00:15:05,250
are the pubes coming out of the penis,
or is the penis coming out of the pubes?
378
00:15:05,333 --> 00:15:07,416
Like, it was like a mystery.
Like, full on.
379
00:15:07,500 --> 00:15:09,708
I was like, "How do I solve this?"
380
00:15:09,791 --> 00:15:12,041
Anyway, I gotta see a picture
of this chick,
381
00:15:12,125 --> 00:15:13,875
above the belt, dude. Come on.
382
00:15:14,583 --> 00:15:16,916
Holy shit. Is that real?
383
00:15:17,000 --> 00:15:20,416
Dude, your Miss Right was Miss Maryland.
384
00:15:20,500 --> 00:15:23,000
She graduated
top of her class at Georgetown,
385
00:15:23,083 --> 00:15:25,708
two-sport collegiate athlete.
386
00:15:25,791 --> 00:15:27,833
You girls gossiping
about The Barracuda again?
387
00:15:27,916 --> 00:15:30,875
Uh, no, but we will when you leave,
'cause you're a psycho.
388
00:15:30,958 --> 00:15:33,250
Yeah. Well, when I get
promoted to president,
389
00:15:33,333 --> 00:15:36,166
I may just have to tighten the belt
on our online porn policy.
390
00:15:36,250 --> 00:15:38,458
It's not porn. That's Tim's girlfriend.
391
00:15:38,541 --> 00:15:41,083
-Timmy's got a girlfriend?
-Excuse me.
392
00:15:41,666 --> 00:15:42,875
Miss Maryland?
393
00:15:42,958 --> 00:15:44,166
You got to be kidding me.
394
00:15:44,250 --> 00:15:48,041
I'm not. She graduated top of her class,
not on top of her professor, like you.
395
00:15:48,916 --> 00:15:50,416
I'll believe it when I see it.
396
00:15:51,000 --> 00:15:52,416
Later, Siegfried and Doy.
397
00:15:52,500 --> 00:15:55,291
-Okay. Good talk.
-I'm Siegfried.
398
00:15:55,375 --> 00:15:56,583
I'm Doy, I guess.
399
00:15:56,666 --> 00:15:57,750
-No shit.
-Who cares?
400
00:15:57,833 --> 00:15:59,916
Anyway, you got to bring her
to Hawaii, dude.
401
00:16:00,000 --> 00:16:01,833
I can't bring her on a corporate retreat.
402
00:16:01,916 --> 00:16:05,333
Why not? Winstone would freak out
if you brought a girl like that.
403
00:16:05,416 --> 00:16:06,833
-Uh...
-She's amazing.
404
00:16:06,916 --> 00:16:10,125
What woman wouldn't want to leave Portland
and go to the tropics?
405
00:16:10,208 --> 00:16:12,750
She's not gonna come.
I've only known her a week.
406
00:16:12,833 --> 00:16:15,083
Dude, it's a no-brainer. Text her now.
407
00:16:15,166 --> 00:16:16,166
[groans]
408
00:16:19,583 --> 00:16:20,541
[cell phone chimes]
409
00:16:22,166 --> 00:16:23,416
She said yes!
410
00:16:23,500 --> 00:16:25,125
[laughing]
Yeah!
411
00:16:25,208 --> 00:16:27,375
Have her email my assistant
all of her info.
412
00:16:27,458 --> 00:16:29,333
I'll book you on the same flight.
413
00:16:29,416 --> 00:16:30,416
Oh, my God.
414
00:16:30,500 --> 00:16:33,333
Aloha, motherfucker! I told you! Yes!
415
00:16:33,916 --> 00:16:35,916
I won! I won!
416
00:16:36,000 --> 00:16:37,625
["Small Spaces" playing]
417
00:16:51,416 --> 00:16:52,291
[blows]
418
00:16:57,083 --> 00:16:57,916
Hey, buddy.
419
00:16:59,125 --> 00:17:01,458
Can you do me a huge favor
and maybe, uh...
420
00:17:02,125 --> 00:17:03,375
check my breath for me?
421
00:17:03,916 --> 00:17:04,750
What's that, bud?
422
00:17:04,833 --> 00:17:06,333
I'm meeting this girl on the plane,
423
00:17:06,416 --> 00:17:09,583
and she's... incredible,
and I don't want to blow it with her.
424
00:17:09,666 --> 00:17:11,833
-Oh. I got you, dude.
-I know it sounds crazy.
425
00:17:11,916 --> 00:17:12,833
Give me a taste.
426
00:17:14,583 --> 00:17:16,083
[blows]
427
00:17:17,833 --> 00:17:18,833
Okay, one more time.
428
00:17:20,625 --> 00:17:22,833
[blows]
429
00:17:23,208 --> 00:17:24,666
Come on, man. Really bring it to me.
430
00:17:30,750 --> 00:17:33,666
[blows]
431
00:17:33,750 --> 00:17:34,625
[sniffs]
432
00:17:35,375 --> 00:17:36,208
Smells good.
433
00:17:37,500 --> 00:17:38,833
Did you eat dog shit this morning?
434
00:17:39,916 --> 00:17:41,625
I'm just kidding. You're good to go.
435
00:17:43,000 --> 00:17:43,958
[cell phone chimes]
436
00:17:44,791 --> 00:17:46,041
Where is she?
437
00:17:47,625 --> 00:17:49,250
No. Wha...
438
00:17:49,958 --> 00:17:50,791
Fuck.
439
00:17:51,166 --> 00:17:52,125
[cell phone chimes]
440
00:17:53,666 --> 00:17:54,500
[chuckles]
441
00:17:56,041 --> 00:17:57,000
[cell phone chimes]
442
00:17:58,875 --> 00:18:00,333
-[clattering]
-[woman] God.
443
00:18:00,416 --> 00:18:01,416
Oh. Oh.
444
00:18:01,500 --> 00:18:03,041
Ah. Ooh.
445
00:18:04,625 --> 00:18:06,500
[chuckles] It's so great to see you!
446
00:18:07,041 --> 00:18:08,416
[squeals]
447
00:18:09,000 --> 00:18:10,500
-Wh...
-[meowing]
448
00:18:10,583 --> 00:18:11,541
Wh... Wh...
449
00:18:12,208 --> 00:18:14,166
You smell so good. What is that?
450
00:18:14,666 --> 00:18:15,583
Is that soap?
451
00:18:15,916 --> 00:18:17,333
Sorry. I'm a little sweaty. I...
452
00:18:17,916 --> 00:18:19,500
I had a little TSA pat-down.
453
00:18:19,583 --> 00:18:21,291
Guess I'm too sexy. [chuckles]
454
00:18:21,375 --> 00:18:23,666
No, I had, uh... I had Sheila in my purse,
455
00:18:23,750 --> 00:18:26,750
but I got away with it because I told him
it was a service knife.
456
00:18:26,833 --> 00:18:29,458
-So, don't worry. You're protected.
-That's funny.
457
00:18:29,541 --> 00:18:30,541
-[laughs]
-[chuckles]
458
00:18:31,333 --> 00:18:33,958
What... What are you doing here?
459
00:18:35,041 --> 00:18:37,583
[funny voice] "What are you doing here?"
"What are you doing here?"
460
00:18:37,916 --> 00:18:39,166
"What are you doing here?" Yeah.
461
00:18:39,250 --> 00:18:40,500
Are these for me?
462
00:18:40,583 --> 00:18:43,000
-Those aren't--
-[sniffs] You got me roses?
463
00:18:43,083 --> 00:18:45,000
That is so sweet.
464
00:18:45,083 --> 00:18:47,000
Mmm. I want to motorboat 'em.
465
00:18:47,083 --> 00:18:48,333
[motorboats]
466
00:18:48,416 --> 00:18:49,625
[laughs]
467
00:18:50,375 --> 00:18:53,250
I've never flown first class.
This is crazy.
468
00:18:53,583 --> 00:18:55,041
Wait. What's in this bag?
469
00:18:55,833 --> 00:18:57,583
What in the world?
470
00:18:58,125 --> 00:18:59,708
-Like, free stuff?
-[softly] No!
471
00:18:59,791 --> 00:19:01,333
[Missy]
Oh, my God.
472
00:19:01,416 --> 00:19:02,958
I didn't have any of this.
473
00:19:03,041 --> 00:19:04,833
Deodorant? That's perfect.
474
00:19:04,916 --> 00:19:08,750
Tim... when I caught you climbing out
of that bathroom window,
475
00:19:09,166 --> 00:19:12,500
I thought to myself, "He's just a flake
like all the other guys," you know?
476
00:19:12,583 --> 00:19:15,125
Then I got that text from you,
and I was just like...
477
00:19:16,041 --> 00:19:17,166
You saved my life.
478
00:19:17,250 --> 00:19:18,875
[inhales] No, actually, I didn't.
479
00:19:18,958 --> 00:19:20,958
-This is actually just a big mis--
-Yes. You did.
480
00:19:21,041 --> 00:19:22,708
You're not just my soulmate, Tim.
481
00:19:23,958 --> 00:19:25,000
You're my savior.
482
00:19:25,541 --> 00:19:28,916
[Missy] There I was. About to jump
off the highest bridge in Portland.
483
00:19:29,000 --> 00:19:30,500
-[cell phone chimes]
-[Missy] But I didn't.
484
00:19:30,583 --> 00:19:32,916
Because it was one hell of a first date,
485
00:19:33,000 --> 00:19:34,291
and it was fate.
486
00:19:36,000 --> 00:19:36,833
N--
487
00:19:37,625 --> 00:19:39,458
Thank you for not breaking my heart.
488
00:19:39,541 --> 00:19:41,458
-Because that would just be...
-[sighs]
489
00:19:41,833 --> 00:19:43,291
...disastrous for me.
490
00:19:44,458 --> 00:19:45,583
[sighs]
491
00:19:45,666 --> 00:19:48,416
-Can I get you something to drink?
-Ooh, yeah. I'll have a tequila.
492
00:19:48,500 --> 00:19:49,333
Make it two.
493
00:19:49,416 --> 00:19:50,625
Mmm, no.
494
00:19:50,875 --> 00:19:53,125
What? I'm sorry. He's an alcoholic.
495
00:19:53,208 --> 00:19:56,083
I'm not gonna let you
fall off the wagon on my watch, mister.
496
00:19:56,666 --> 00:19:57,541
[mouthing]
Make it two.
497
00:19:58,541 --> 00:20:00,416
-[Tim] What are you taking?
-You are taking it.
498
00:20:00,500 --> 00:20:01,583
-[grunts]
-You have that.
499
00:20:01,666 --> 00:20:02,541
[swallows]
[grunts]
500
00:20:02,625 --> 00:20:03,875
I swallowed that!
501
00:20:03,958 --> 00:20:05,583
-Good.
-What the fuck is it?
502
00:20:05,666 --> 00:20:07,375
-It's a dog tranquilizer.
-What?
503
00:20:07,458 --> 00:20:08,375
Good night.
504
00:20:08,458 --> 00:20:09,875
Ooh, ooh. No, no, no. No, no, no.
505
00:20:09,958 --> 00:20:12,000
-Two for me. None for you. Okay.
-[softly] Fuck!
506
00:20:12,083 --> 00:20:14,375
To the best weekend ever. [laughs]
507
00:20:14,458 --> 00:20:16,166
[woman on PA]
The cabin doors are now locked.
508
00:20:16,250 --> 00:20:18,333
-[softly] Fuck.
-[woman on PA] Please prepare for takeoff.
509
00:20:26,166 --> 00:20:27,500
[rhythmic rustling]
510
00:20:33,791 --> 00:20:34,625
[clicks tongue]
511
00:20:34,708 --> 00:20:37,083
How's that for a wake-up call, hmm?
512
00:20:37,166 --> 00:20:38,000
You like that?
513
00:20:38,083 --> 00:20:39,208
Good Lord.
514
00:20:39,291 --> 00:20:41,666
-What are you doing?
-Shh! He's sleeping.
515
00:20:42,166 --> 00:20:44,833
Don't worry. I was quiet like an assassin.
516
00:20:44,916 --> 00:20:46,708
But he's right there.
517
00:20:46,791 --> 00:20:49,791
Did you not want an upsy-downsy?
I'm using lotion.
518
00:20:49,875 --> 00:20:51,625
I mean, it's nice. I--
519
00:20:52,041 --> 00:20:54,708
But I just want to not spoil the weekend.
520
00:20:54,791 --> 00:20:57,041
-You know what I mean? Oh, shit.
-[plane rattling]
521
00:20:57,625 --> 00:20:58,666
[yelping]
522
00:20:58,750 --> 00:21:01,416
[grunting]
523
00:21:02,291 --> 00:21:03,208
[moans]
524
00:21:03,291 --> 00:21:04,208
[exhales]
525
00:21:09,875 --> 00:21:10,708
Sorry.
526
00:21:10,791 --> 00:21:11,625
Tim.
527
00:21:12,541 --> 00:21:14,083
It was wonderful.
528
00:21:14,666 --> 00:21:15,666
Ugh!
529
00:21:22,041 --> 00:21:23,208
You're going to hell.
530
00:21:25,625 --> 00:21:27,166
-How long--?
-Forty minutes.
531
00:21:27,250 --> 00:21:28,750
-Forty minutes...
-Do you have a tissue?
532
00:21:29,666 --> 00:21:30,500
I--
533
00:21:30,583 --> 00:21:31,583
Mmm.
534
00:21:32,750 --> 00:21:35,208
I knew you were awake. Freak!
535
00:21:35,291 --> 00:21:37,750
["Warning" playing]
536
00:21:37,833 --> 00:21:39,166
♪ This is a warning ♪
537
00:21:39,791 --> 00:21:42,958
♪ We got to get down to this place ♪
538
00:21:44,125 --> 00:21:45,791
♪ This is a warning ♪
539
00:21:46,083 --> 00:21:47,750
♪ We're calling from miles away... ♪
540
00:21:47,833 --> 00:21:50,875
Oh, my God! This is absolute paradise!
541
00:21:50,958 --> 00:21:52,750
Best second date ever!
542
00:21:52,833 --> 00:21:56,125
I swear to God, if I see a sea turtle
in that ocean, I am riding it!
543
00:21:56,208 --> 00:21:58,000
You can't ride the turtles.
544
00:21:58,083 --> 00:22:00,791
Well, what if they want to ride me?
[chuckles]
545
00:22:00,875 --> 00:22:02,833
-That's inappropriate.
-And disturbing.
546
00:22:02,916 --> 00:22:05,375
Okay, maybe you're inappropriate
and disturbing.
547
00:22:05,458 --> 00:22:08,750
-I'm just being nice to a goddamn turtle.
-Have respect for the island.
548
00:22:08,833 --> 00:22:10,000
Shut the fuck up!
549
00:22:10,083 --> 00:22:11,708
[all shouting indistinctly]
550
00:22:12,291 --> 00:22:13,958
-You don't even know me!
-Hey, what...
551
00:22:14,041 --> 00:22:15,208
You don't even know me!
552
00:22:15,291 --> 00:22:17,291
-Nice to meet you.
-I love kids.
553
00:22:17,375 --> 00:22:19,041
-Oh, I want kids so bad.
-What are you--
554
00:22:19,125 --> 00:22:21,000
Aloha, can I offer you a cocktail?
555
00:22:21,083 --> 00:22:22,541
Oh, what do we have here?
556
00:22:22,625 --> 00:22:26,250
We have a couple of local favorites.
We have the Mai Tai or the Tropical Itch.
557
00:22:26,333 --> 00:22:29,291
If I get a tropical itch from this guy,
I'm gonna be a tropical bitch!
558
00:22:29,875 --> 00:22:32,166
Thirty-five years on this planet,
not one STD.
559
00:22:32,250 --> 00:22:33,250
Mmm. [slurps]
560
00:22:33,333 --> 00:22:35,208
-Can you say the same?
-Okay. Heh. Sorry.
561
00:22:35,291 --> 00:22:36,125
[Missy] Ooh!
562
00:22:36,583 --> 00:22:40,250
-[exhales] Uh, checking in for Morris.
-Welcome, Mr. and Mrs. Morris.
563
00:22:40,333 --> 00:22:42,166
Ooh, I like the sound of that.
564
00:22:42,250 --> 00:22:44,125
[grunts] I like the feel of that.
565
00:22:44,208 --> 00:22:46,291
[sniffs] I like the smell of that.
566
00:22:46,958 --> 00:22:49,541
Yo, aloha, bro.
Can you point us to the spa, please?
567
00:22:50,041 --> 00:22:52,416
Oh-ho-ho-ho! Timmy!
568
00:22:52,500 --> 00:22:54,000
What's up, buddy?
569
00:22:54,083 --> 00:22:55,375
What's going on there, Rich?
570
00:22:55,458 --> 00:22:56,666
-[Rich] Hey!
-Hey, Julia.
571
00:22:57,125 --> 00:22:58,041
Hey, Tim.
572
00:22:58,125 --> 00:22:59,625
I'm Missy. Tim's girlfriend.
573
00:22:59,708 --> 00:23:01,291
-Hi. Hi.
-[Rich] Oh!
574
00:23:01,375 --> 00:23:02,458
Tim's friend. We're friends.
575
00:23:02,541 --> 00:23:04,625
Oh, yeah. I think we soared
way past the friend zone
576
00:23:04,708 --> 00:23:07,208
when I gave him the ol' Jergens Jerk
on the plane ride over here.
577
00:23:07,291 --> 00:23:09,208
Sounds like somebody
had a fun flight, huh?
578
00:23:09,291 --> 00:23:11,875
-No, she's joking around.
-Yeah, I'm joking.
579
00:23:11,958 --> 00:23:14,541
-[mouthing] No, I'm not.
-[Rich laughs]
580
00:23:14,625 --> 00:23:15,916
Z-z-z-z-z-z-z [coughs]
581
00:23:16,000 --> 00:23:16,833
Wow.
582
00:23:16,916 --> 00:23:21,041
I'm sensing such a strong
sexual connection between you two.
583
00:23:21,125 --> 00:23:22,958
Ah-swish! [laughs]
584
00:23:23,041 --> 00:23:24,166
She nailed us, huh?
585
00:23:24,250 --> 00:23:25,666
Oh, no, no. Not you two.
586
00:23:25,750 --> 00:23:27,875
You two. D-Do you have a history?
587
00:23:27,958 --> 00:23:30,208
[laughs] She doesn't know about you guys?
588
00:23:30,291 --> 00:23:31,250
-Know what?
-[laughs]
589
00:23:31,833 --> 00:23:33,458
These two were freaking engaged.
590
00:23:33,958 --> 00:23:39,708
-He was the guy before. I am now the guy.
-We should get going. We're gonna be late.
591
00:23:39,791 --> 00:23:41,625
All right, we'll catch up
at the welcome mixer.
592
00:23:41,708 --> 00:23:43,916
-[Julia] Mm-hmm.
-The spa's gotta be this way, babe.
593
00:23:44,666 --> 00:23:47,291
Well, well, well, Mr. Mystery.
594
00:23:47,375 --> 00:23:49,458
Any other deep, dark secrets
you want to share?
595
00:23:49,541 --> 00:23:51,083
-That's so...
-You know, it's fine.
596
00:23:51,166 --> 00:23:52,666
You're lucky I'm not the jealous type.
597
00:23:52,750 --> 00:23:56,250
In fact, if you want to fuckface me,
I'm totally cool with it.
598
00:23:59,250 --> 00:24:00,166
Fuckface you?
599
00:24:00,250 --> 00:24:04,833
Yeah, you know,
if you want to imagine her face on my face
600
00:24:04,916 --> 00:24:06,416
when we fuck,
601
00:24:06,500 --> 00:24:09,041
I'm more than comfortable with that.
602
00:24:09,750 --> 00:24:12,958
Well, I'm definitely not
comfortable with...
603
00:24:13,750 --> 00:24:14,625
any part of that.
604
00:24:15,166 --> 00:24:16,000
Okay.
605
00:24:16,833 --> 00:24:17,791
Can I get the keys?
606
00:24:17,875 --> 00:24:19,500
-Thank you. Have a-a nice day.
-Thank you.
607
00:24:19,583 --> 00:24:20,791
Wait, honey.
608
00:24:21,375 --> 00:24:22,666
[Missy]
Oh, my God!
609
00:24:22,750 --> 00:24:23,833
Are you rich?
610
00:24:24,250 --> 00:24:26,125
What the fuck is this?
611
00:24:26,208 --> 00:24:27,458
I made it!
612
00:24:27,541 --> 00:24:28,833
I made it!
613
00:24:28,916 --> 00:24:30,458
Yeah!
614
00:24:30,541 --> 00:24:32,750
All my teachers can eat my asshole!
615
00:24:32,833 --> 00:24:33,666
[gasps]
616
00:24:34,208 --> 00:24:36,291
"Aloha, Tim and Melissa."
617
00:24:36,708 --> 00:24:37,541
[gasps]
618
00:24:37,625 --> 00:24:38,750
I love that.
619
00:24:39,208 --> 00:24:40,041
I gotta warn you.
620
00:24:40,625 --> 00:24:42,500
Big Momma Spanky could get used to this.
621
00:24:42,583 --> 00:24:43,416
[laughs]
622
00:24:43,500 --> 00:24:46,083
Well, I mean, in fairness,
it's just one weekend.
623
00:24:46,666 --> 00:24:48,250
I'm gonna bite into you like this.
624
00:24:48,875 --> 00:24:51,416
[chewing and moaning]
625
00:24:51,500 --> 00:24:53,166
[mouthful] Oh, rose petals.
626
00:24:53,708 --> 00:24:56,041
What does lover boy have up his sleeve?
627
00:24:56,125 --> 00:24:57,000
[chuckles]
628
00:24:57,458 --> 00:24:59,041
-[gasps]
-God damn.
629
00:24:59,583 --> 00:25:01,583
-[Missy grunting]
-[water splashing]
630
00:25:02,333 --> 00:25:04,166
Hey, are you okay in there?
631
00:25:04,250 --> 00:25:06,791
[Missy] I'm fine.
I just fell in the toilet again.
632
00:25:06,875 --> 00:25:07,833
Help me.
633
00:25:09,250 --> 00:25:10,500
What-- What happened?
634
00:25:11,416 --> 00:25:12,625
[Missy] Just joshin'.
635
00:25:13,541 --> 00:25:14,541
Why don't you come in here
636
00:25:14,625 --> 00:25:17,666
so we can see what your pecker looks like
when it's floating on the surface?
637
00:25:17,750 --> 00:25:20,583
Yeah. Missy, we need to talk. Um...
638
00:25:24,500 --> 00:25:25,333
Where'd you go?
639
00:25:25,416 --> 00:25:26,875
-[chuckles]
-[hissing]
640
00:25:28,583 --> 00:25:30,791
[in evil voice]
I am Hellstar.
641
00:25:30,875 --> 00:25:33,500
Who dares to enter my lair?
642
00:25:33,583 --> 00:25:34,750
[blathers]
643
00:25:34,833 --> 00:25:37,375
Finally, someone normal to talk to.
Hi, Hellstar.
644
00:25:37,458 --> 00:25:39,750
Oh. A mortal.
645
00:25:39,833 --> 00:25:44,375
Mmm. You know, the only one thing
a mortal can do to please Hellstar
646
00:25:44,458 --> 00:25:47,333
is get on all fours, and arch your back,
647
00:25:47,416 --> 00:25:49,958
and submit to the master of darkness!
648
00:25:50,041 --> 00:25:51,583
[blathers]
649
00:25:53,041 --> 00:25:55,083
Right, okay, Hellstar.
I mean, we'll get to all that.
650
00:25:55,166 --> 00:25:56,708
Uh, I have to run out for a few seconds.
651
00:25:56,791 --> 00:25:58,541
Oh, what? You're gonna leave?
652
00:25:58,833 --> 00:26:00,583
Right when it was getting good?
653
00:26:00,666 --> 00:26:01,916
[groans]
654
00:26:02,000 --> 00:26:02,916
This is so dumb.
655
00:26:03,000 --> 00:26:07,208
I have to go to an orientation
mandatory mixer with my new boss.
656
00:26:07,625 --> 00:26:09,916
No one's allowed to skip it, so...
[clicks tongue]
657
00:26:10,000 --> 00:26:12,291
-I'm just gonna... [whistles]
-Oh, wait. I'll come with you.
658
00:26:12,375 --> 00:26:14,000
-Let me just dry off.
-No, no, no! No. No.
659
00:26:14,083 --> 00:26:15,125
You stay there.
660
00:26:15,208 --> 00:26:17,083
Relax. Have some champagne.
661
00:26:17,166 --> 00:26:19,958
Throw in some more bubbles,
maybe a toaster, just splash around.
662
00:26:20,041 --> 00:26:21,291
And you soak for a long time.
663
00:26:21,375 --> 00:26:23,041
A long, long, long, long time. [laughs]
664
00:26:23,125 --> 00:26:24,708
Oh, Tim!
665
00:26:25,041 --> 00:26:26,125
You're so sweet.
666
00:26:26,708 --> 00:26:29,875
I don't know what I did to deserve you,
but thank you.
667
00:26:29,958 --> 00:26:30,791
I will.
668
00:26:32,291 --> 00:26:33,500
Mmm. No.
669
00:26:33,583 --> 00:26:35,708
Okay. Catch you in a few.
670
00:26:35,916 --> 00:26:36,750
Stay in the tub.
671
00:26:36,833 --> 00:26:39,541
[Jack Winstone]
And now that the merger is complete,
672
00:26:39,625 --> 00:26:42,708
I just want the entire C of A crew to know
673
00:26:42,791 --> 00:26:47,041
that I could not be more proud or pumped
to be your new captain.
674
00:26:47,125 --> 00:26:49,083
Woo! Swish! [laughs]
675
00:26:49,166 --> 00:26:51,208
Got a lot of great things
planned for this retreat.
676
00:26:51,291 --> 00:26:54,333
Especially the talent show,
which I know we're all very excited about.
677
00:26:54,416 --> 00:26:57,250
And I look forward to getting to know
each and every one of you
678
00:26:57,333 --> 00:26:58,750
and your better halves.
679
00:26:59,333 --> 00:27:00,166
Enjoy.
680
00:27:00,250 --> 00:27:01,458
[crowd cheering and applauding]
681
00:27:02,083 --> 00:27:03,083
There's the king.
682
00:27:03,166 --> 00:27:04,166
-There he is.
-Hey.
683
00:27:04,250 --> 00:27:06,458
Dude, spoke to Winstone all about you.
684
00:27:06,541 --> 00:27:07,833
Totally tee'd you up.
685
00:27:07,916 --> 00:27:10,083
-Fuck.
-"Fuck"?
686
00:27:10,166 --> 00:27:12,458
I screwed up so huge.
687
00:27:12,541 --> 00:27:13,375
What?
688
00:27:13,458 --> 00:27:15,416
The girl in my room
is not who I thought she was.
689
00:27:15,500 --> 00:27:17,375
That's your fault
for trying to get to know her.
690
00:27:17,458 --> 00:27:18,416
That's on you, bud.
691
00:27:18,500 --> 00:27:21,041
No, remember that crazy blind date
I had a while ago?
692
00:27:21,125 --> 00:27:23,750
This whole time I thought
I was texting my dream girl,
693
00:27:23,833 --> 00:27:24,916
I'm texting that girl.
694
00:27:25,000 --> 00:27:28,166
Dude, that happened to me.
I accidentally sent my uncle a dick pic.
695
00:27:28,250 --> 00:27:32,291
He saw it, had a stroke. It was awful.
It was like a nightmare for our family.
696
00:27:32,375 --> 00:27:34,416
I don't give a fuck
about your uncle at all.
697
00:27:34,500 --> 00:27:36,125
This is real. What do I do?
698
00:27:36,208 --> 00:27:37,458
Dude, just come clean.
699
00:27:37,541 --> 00:27:40,333
I wanted to, but then she told me
she was feeling suicidal
700
00:27:40,416 --> 00:27:41,625
until I started texting her.
701
00:27:41,708 --> 00:27:43,791
Who are we
to get in the way of destiny, man?
702
00:27:43,875 --> 00:27:47,166
If her time's up, her time's up.
She's spirit world.
703
00:27:47,250 --> 00:27:48,583
[Winstone]
Where's Miss Maryland?
704
00:27:48,666 --> 00:27:49,875
-Mr. Winstone!
-No--
705
00:27:49,958 --> 00:27:52,250
-Sir, I'd like to introduce you--
-[Winstone] I know who he is.
706
00:27:52,875 --> 00:27:54,875
You don't think
I'd buy a half-billion dollar company
707
00:27:54,958 --> 00:27:56,208
and not know its biggest assets?
708
00:27:56,291 --> 00:27:58,333
[laughs] Well, that's nice. Nice.
709
00:27:58,416 --> 00:28:00,208
Your name's been mentioned
quite a bit, Jim.
710
00:28:00,291 --> 00:28:03,291
Oh. Actually, it's Tim. Tim Morris.
But thank you, sir.
711
00:28:03,375 --> 00:28:05,791
-I have your coffee, sir.
-I didn't want a coffee.
712
00:28:05,875 --> 00:28:06,708
Oh.
713
00:28:07,125 --> 00:28:08,083
Should I drink it?
714
00:28:08,750 --> 00:28:09,916
I don't care.
715
00:28:12,916 --> 00:28:16,000
So, where's this beauty of yours
that Nate keeps bragging to me about?
716
00:28:16,083 --> 00:28:17,916
-Oh.
-Wait, wait, wait, Tim. Get this.
717
00:28:18,000 --> 00:28:21,833
-Mr. Winstone's wife was Miss Texas.
-No!
718
00:28:21,916 --> 00:28:25,916
That's right. And before that,
she dated Evander Holyfield.
719
00:28:26,000 --> 00:28:28,250
-Oh, my God!
-More like "holy shit".
720
00:28:28,333 --> 00:28:29,666
-Yeah.
-[both laugh]
721
00:28:29,750 --> 00:28:31,208
That's a good one, Ted. [laughs]
722
00:28:31,791 --> 00:28:33,125
Good. That's a good one.
723
00:28:33,208 --> 00:28:35,458
My husband, Paul,
was a Guess Jeans model.
724
00:28:35,541 --> 00:28:38,083
I used to have really skinny legs
and a great ass.
725
00:28:38,166 --> 00:28:41,583
They photoshopped my bottom half
on Claudia Schiffer's torso.
726
00:28:41,666 --> 00:28:43,375
Who do you model for now? Cinnabon?
727
00:28:43,458 --> 00:28:45,708
-Huh?
-You know, unfortunately, my beauty queen
728
00:28:45,791 --> 00:28:47,791
uh, isn't feeling quite herself today.
729
00:28:47,875 --> 00:28:48,708
Oh, is she sick?
730
00:28:48,791 --> 00:28:50,083
You could say that.
731
00:28:50,166 --> 00:28:52,791
You know, uh, I don't even know
if we'll see her the whole weekend.
732
00:28:52,875 --> 00:28:55,125
She's suffering from severe jet lag.
733
00:28:55,208 --> 00:28:57,958
-From a five-hour flight?
-Well, she also had flown in from Paris.
734
00:28:58,041 --> 00:28:59,541
-Fashion Week and all that.
-Yeah.
735
00:28:59,625 --> 00:29:01,750
Oh, well, you know, that makes more sense.
736
00:29:01,833 --> 00:29:03,791
Nate tells me
she's also one hell of an athlete.
737
00:29:03,875 --> 00:29:05,375
All-American tennis player.
738
00:29:05,458 --> 00:29:08,291
Yup. Uh, in the old days, she was.
So, you know...
739
00:29:08,375 --> 00:29:11,083
Not to brag, but the wife and I
are defending doubles champions
740
00:29:11,166 --> 00:29:12,000
at our country club.
741
00:29:12,083 --> 00:29:14,416
So we might have to hook up
a little mixed doubles match
742
00:29:14,500 --> 00:29:15,666
with you and your little lady.
743
00:29:15,750 --> 00:29:18,291
Oh, yeah, a little afternoon foursome
sounds fun.
744
00:29:18,375 --> 00:29:19,333
-[laughs]
-Uh, hi...
745
00:29:19,416 --> 00:29:21,125
[Missy] Oh! Winstone.
746
00:29:21,208 --> 00:29:23,500
You didn't tell me he was a porker.
He's a little pork pie.
747
00:29:23,583 --> 00:29:25,125
-[laughs]
-No... [chuckles]
748
00:29:25,208 --> 00:29:27,750
-This is, uh, Mr. Winstone, right here.
-Oh, that makes more sense.
749
00:29:27,833 --> 00:29:29,166
I'm sorry. You are?
750
00:29:29,250 --> 00:29:32,083
She who makes Tim cream his shorts.
[laughs]
751
00:29:32,166 --> 00:29:33,500
I'm Missy. I'm Tim's little lady.
752
00:29:35,166 --> 00:29:37,041
Honey, you've had
a little champagne today.
753
00:29:37,125 --> 00:29:38,250
-No, no. 151.
-Okay.
754
00:29:38,333 --> 00:29:40,791
-Uh, can I talk to you for one second?
-Oh, yeah.
755
00:29:40,875 --> 00:29:42,125
We're planning a surprise party.
756
00:29:42,208 --> 00:29:45,041
Oh, I'm getting a tongue lashing,
not the good kind. [laughs]
757
00:29:45,125 --> 00:29:47,291
Okay, that old guy is a dark cloud.
758
00:29:47,375 --> 00:29:49,000
He's putting out
some real negative energy.
759
00:29:49,083 --> 00:29:52,000
-That dark cloud is my new boss.
-Oh, shit.
760
00:29:52,541 --> 00:29:53,958
No shit, "Oh, shit."
761
00:29:54,041 --> 00:29:56,125
Toe shit, no shit, oh, shit.
762
00:29:56,583 --> 00:29:57,416
What?
763
00:29:57,500 --> 00:29:59,208
Tim. I'm so sorry.
764
00:29:59,291 --> 00:30:02,083
You two are not a good match. I don't
think you should work here anymore.
765
00:30:02,166 --> 00:30:04,125
I'm working here.
I've worked here for 20 years.
766
00:30:04,208 --> 00:30:05,125
So?
767
00:30:05,208 --> 00:30:09,166
Listen. I may have gone a little bit
overboard in bragging about you,
768
00:30:09,250 --> 00:30:11,375
saying you were
a two-sport collegiate athlete,
769
00:30:11,458 --> 00:30:14,291
and you may or may not have won
a beauty contest in the past.
770
00:30:15,291 --> 00:30:17,125
Oh, my God. [chuckles]
771
00:30:17,208 --> 00:30:19,083
You're obsessed with me.
772
00:30:19,166 --> 00:30:20,833
[laughs] Oh, my God. Okay.
773
00:30:20,916 --> 00:30:22,625
Um, we're either gonna end up married,
774
00:30:22,708 --> 00:30:25,625
or I'm gonna end up naked and dead
in a ravine somewhere.
775
00:30:25,708 --> 00:30:26,708
[grunts]
[laughs]
776
00:30:26,791 --> 00:30:29,500
-I-I don't see that happening.
-Which one? I'm down for either.
777
00:30:29,583 --> 00:30:30,541
Would you do me a favor?
778
00:30:30,625 --> 00:30:32,750
This is my company's corporate retreat.
It's a big deal.
779
00:30:32,833 --> 00:30:34,916
-Yeah, huge. Yeah.
-So, please,
780
00:30:35,000 --> 00:30:38,500
will you keep things
cool, calm, and very collected.
781
00:30:38,583 --> 00:30:39,958
You're so worried, Tim.
782
00:30:40,041 --> 00:30:42,666
Okay, I'm a people-person.
Have you not noticed that?
783
00:30:42,750 --> 00:30:43,708
Yeah.
784
00:30:43,791 --> 00:30:47,083
I'm gonna have all these boring bankers
eating out of the palm of my hand.
785
00:30:47,916 --> 00:30:48,791
[sighs]
786
00:30:48,875 --> 00:30:51,208
♪ Feeling good, feeling good
Feeling good ♪
787
00:30:51,291 --> 00:30:52,333
♪ All right... ♪
788
00:30:52,416 --> 00:30:53,916
-I think about--
-Excuse us real quick.
789
00:30:54,000 --> 00:30:56,250
Sorry, mahalo, everybody.
Many, many mahalos.
790
00:30:56,333 --> 00:30:58,916
You've got to get Nostradamus
the fuck out of here.
791
00:30:59,000 --> 00:31:00,500
-Who?
-Missy!
792
00:31:00,583 --> 00:31:03,125
She's giving psychic readings
to the entire company.
793
00:31:03,208 --> 00:31:06,208
Could be a lot of horrible things coming,
and it could happen at any point.
794
00:31:06,291 --> 00:31:09,125
I just talked to her! God damn it!
795
00:31:09,208 --> 00:31:10,041
Um...
796
00:31:10,125 --> 00:31:12,333
I'm seeing a little boy.
His name's Calvin.
797
00:31:12,416 --> 00:31:13,666
Yes, that's Cal Jr.
798
00:31:13,750 --> 00:31:15,958
I'm Cal Sr. You're visualizing my son.
799
00:31:16,041 --> 00:31:17,958
He's standing next to your grave.
800
00:31:18,541 --> 00:31:20,958
-What? I'm dead?
-Mm-hmm.
801
00:31:21,541 --> 00:31:24,791
[stammers] Yeah, you can live. Just don't
get on a plane in the next five months.
802
00:31:24,875 --> 00:31:27,666
Well, we're on an island.
How am I supposed to get back to Portland?
803
00:31:27,750 --> 00:31:29,958
Get on my plane.
I'm gonna live a long, long, long time.
804
00:31:30,041 --> 00:31:32,791
-Excuse me. Hey. Can I steal her?
-That's my boyfriend.
805
00:31:32,875 --> 00:31:35,250
[laughs]
You're fucked, dude.
806
00:31:35,333 --> 00:31:37,250
What happened to being
cool, calm, and collected?
807
00:31:37,333 --> 00:31:39,166
-Hey. Missy.
-Ooh, yeah. Gimme.
808
00:31:39,250 --> 00:31:41,458
So, uh, who do you see
winning the Super Bowl this year?
809
00:31:41,541 --> 00:31:42,791
I'll be right with you, One Leg.
810
00:31:42,875 --> 00:31:44,083
[man gasps]
"One Leg"?
811
00:31:44,583 --> 00:31:47,666
You're gonna lose a leg in ten years
in a horrific motorcycle accident.
812
00:31:47,750 --> 00:31:49,583
-What?
-The authorities will find it.
813
00:31:50,083 --> 00:31:52,083
They'll put it on backwards.
You're gonna be fucked.
814
00:31:52,166 --> 00:31:55,000
You know what, Titone?
Sorry. Crystal ball's shut down.
815
00:31:55,791 --> 00:31:56,625
Woo!
816
00:31:56,916 --> 00:31:59,125
-[slurps]
-How many of those have you had?
817
00:32:11,125 --> 00:32:11,958
Two.
818
00:32:12,041 --> 00:32:13,958
Wrong. I think it's time we hit the road.
819
00:32:14,041 --> 00:32:15,333
-[music starts]
-Ooh, the show!
820
00:32:15,416 --> 00:32:16,583
-Hold this.
-Not holding your--
821
00:32:16,666 --> 00:32:18,500
-Don't be a bitch, Tim.
-[Tim groans]
822
00:32:18,583 --> 00:32:20,000
[Missy]
Wait for me!
823
00:32:20,750 --> 00:32:22,791
Cough it up, Morris.
Who's the runaway train?
824
00:32:22,875 --> 00:32:25,833
'Cause that is definitely not
the beauty queen I saw on your computer.
825
00:32:26,416 --> 00:32:29,208
[Tim] No, that's her.
You just saw a bad picture.
826
00:32:29,291 --> 00:32:31,250
[scoffs] Don't worry, Morris.
827
00:32:31,333 --> 00:32:32,708
Your secret's safe with me.
828
00:32:36,416 --> 00:32:37,666
["Champagne" plays]
829
00:32:37,750 --> 00:32:38,583
♪ I feel sexy ♪
830
00:32:38,666 --> 00:32:39,875
♪ On my champagne ♪
831
00:32:40,208 --> 00:32:41,416
♪ All over my champagne ♪
832
00:32:41,791 --> 00:32:44,375
-♪ Purple lipstick all over my champagne ♪
-♪ On my champagne ♪
833
00:32:44,458 --> 00:32:46,500
♪ We can get it crackin'
We can do the damn thang ♪
834
00:32:46,583 --> 00:32:48,916
♪ I show up on the scene
In that envy money green ♪
835
00:32:49,000 --> 00:32:52,000
♪ Shorty steady hatin'
'Cause I'm in they boyfriends' dreams ♪
836
00:32:52,083 --> 00:32:54,416
♪ They be talkin' hair and shit
Bitch, I'm about that green ♪
837
00:32:54,500 --> 00:32:57,083
♪ So they see my by the bar
And they know money ain't a thing ♪
838
00:32:57,666 --> 00:32:59,708
♪ Bitch, brake
And best watch what you say ♪
839
00:32:59,791 --> 00:33:02,166
♪ 'Cause we came here to party hard
And there's no other way ♪
840
00:33:02,250 --> 00:33:05,000
♪ Mink coats, no coat check
Kush we smokin' ♪
841
00:33:05,083 --> 00:33:07,708
♪ Bitch, get out my way
Can't you see I'm trying to pose? ♪
842
00:33:07,791 --> 00:33:10,541
-♪ Red lipstick all over my champagne ♪
-♪ On my champagne ♪
843
00:33:10,625 --> 00:33:13,250
-♪ Pink lipstick all over my champagne ♪
-♪ On my champagne ♪
844
00:33:13,333 --> 00:33:15,458
♪ Purple lipstick all over my champagne ♪
845
00:33:15,541 --> 00:33:18,208
♪ We can get it crackin'
We can do the damn thang ♪
846
00:33:18,291 --> 00:33:20,750
-♪ Red lipstick all over my champagne ♪
-♪ On my champagne ♪
847
00:33:20,833 --> 00:33:23,500
-♪ Pink lipstick all over my champagne ♪
-♪ On my champagne ♪
848
00:33:23,583 --> 00:33:26,083
-♪ Purple lipstick all over my champagne ♪
-♪ On my champagne ♪
849
00:33:26,166 --> 00:33:28,875
♪ We can get it crackin'
We can do the damn thang ♪
850
00:33:28,958 --> 00:33:30,041
[song ends]
851
00:33:30,125 --> 00:33:31,083
[Missy groans]
852
00:33:32,125 --> 00:33:34,541
Where's my Tropical Itch?
853
00:33:35,125 --> 00:33:39,000
I got itchy from my bitchy,
witchy, skitchy, kitchy-koo.
854
00:33:39,083 --> 00:33:42,291
And it's Mrs. Morris. Keep it comin'.
855
00:33:42,875 --> 00:33:44,625
Missy, you sure know
how to shake up a party.
856
00:33:44,708 --> 00:33:45,541
Mmm. Thanks.
857
00:33:45,625 --> 00:33:47,958
By the way, I'm Jess.
You probably heard of me.
858
00:33:48,541 --> 00:33:49,958
They call me "The Barracuda."
859
00:33:51,583 --> 00:33:54,583
Ho! Let's see Evander Holyfield
make that shot, huh?
860
00:33:54,666 --> 00:33:57,208
-[Winstone chuckles]
-[laughs] Not with those brick hands.
861
00:33:57,291 --> 00:33:59,458
You know, he still calls
every once in a while.
862
00:33:59,541 --> 00:34:01,125
Just to check in with my wife.
863
00:34:01,208 --> 00:34:03,750
I'll play you some voicemails
that'll blow your mind.
864
00:34:03,833 --> 00:34:06,750
-Just desperate. Horny.
-[laughs]
865
00:34:07,333 --> 00:34:09,916
-Says a lot about your wife, huh?
-Yeah, she's a gorgeous woman.
866
00:34:10,000 --> 00:34:12,083
I'm damn proud of what she's accomplished.
867
00:34:12,166 --> 00:34:15,000
There's not many people can say
they've put Evander Holyfield on his back.
868
00:34:15,083 --> 00:34:16,166
[laughs]
869
00:34:17,541 --> 00:34:20,500
Yo, Morris. Your date's
about to jump off a fucking cliff.
870
00:34:22,083 --> 00:34:22,916
What?
871
00:34:26,500 --> 00:34:28,375
[crowd] Go, go, go!
872
00:34:28,458 --> 00:34:31,375
Hey! What are you doing?
Missy, what the hell's going on?
873
00:34:31,458 --> 00:34:33,958
What? I'm about to do a triple backflip.
They're begging for it.
874
00:34:34,041 --> 00:34:36,291
I mean, what the hell are you doing
jumping off of a cliff?
875
00:34:36,375 --> 00:34:39,583
Well, I told that Barracuda bitch
I was the star diver of my college.
876
00:34:39,666 --> 00:34:41,875
-Why would you say that?
-'Cause you told her
877
00:34:41,958 --> 00:34:44,041
I was a two-sport collegiate athlete.
878
00:34:44,666 --> 00:34:47,958
I thought I was safe because I didn't see
any diving boards in sight, but...
879
00:34:48,041 --> 00:34:49,750
Uh-oh. Uh. [laughs]
880
00:34:49,833 --> 00:34:52,416
Okay, well, I'm not letting you jump,
right? I don't want you dying.
881
00:34:52,500 --> 00:34:55,291
Look how much he cares about me,
everybody. He loves me.
882
00:34:55,375 --> 00:34:59,000
-Guys, show's over. No one's diving today.
-[screaming] I love you, Tim Morris!
883
00:34:59,083 --> 00:35:00,166
-Whoa!
-[thuds]
884
00:35:00,250 --> 00:35:01,083
[Tim]
Shit!
885
00:35:01,625 --> 00:35:03,208
-Shit! Oh, my God!
-[Missy screams]
886
00:35:03,791 --> 00:35:04,833
-[screams]
-[all exclaim]
887
00:35:04,916 --> 00:35:06,791
[Missy]
Jesus! Fuck! [grunts]
888
00:35:07,416 --> 00:35:08,958
[screams] [grunts]
889
00:35:09,041 --> 00:35:11,208
-Oh, fuck!
-Oh, my God!
890
00:35:12,916 --> 00:35:16,291
Don't think I've ever seen
anyone dive in the ocean... and miss.
891
00:35:16,875 --> 00:35:17,916
[groans]
892
00:35:18,000 --> 00:35:19,083
[laughs]
893
00:35:19,583 --> 00:35:21,291
She's alive!
894
00:35:22,375 --> 00:35:23,375
-[Missy groans]
-Damn it!
895
00:35:23,458 --> 00:35:25,750
[Missy]
Don't fuck with the Hellstar!
896
00:35:26,333 --> 00:35:28,291
Please tell me
somebody got that on video--
897
00:35:32,500 --> 00:35:34,166
["Nightmares" playing]
898
00:35:39,958 --> 00:35:42,041
Real life of the party.
899
00:35:43,500 --> 00:35:44,750
[Tim grunts]
900
00:35:47,000 --> 00:35:47,875
[groans]
901
00:35:48,875 --> 00:35:49,791
[exhales]
902
00:35:51,458 --> 00:35:52,750
♪ Oh... ♪
903
00:35:54,083 --> 00:35:55,375
[sighs]
904
00:35:56,541 --> 00:35:57,375
Nope.
905
00:35:59,750 --> 00:36:01,500
Mmm. Dog pills.
906
00:36:06,458 --> 00:36:07,833
[woman moaning]
907
00:36:07,916 --> 00:36:09,166
[woman] You're my man.
908
00:36:09,250 --> 00:36:11,041
You're the only man for me.
909
00:36:11,125 --> 00:36:14,166
[grunts] I miss you so much.
I want you so bad.
910
00:36:14,250 --> 00:36:16,583
You dirty little dog, you bury that bone.
911
00:36:16,666 --> 00:36:18,625
-Huh?
-Oh, you bury it.
912
00:36:18,708 --> 00:36:19,833
-Yeah, you bury it!
-Ow!
913
00:36:19,916 --> 00:36:21,541
-You bury it!
-Aah!
914
00:36:21,625 --> 00:36:24,166
-[screaming] You bury it!
-Oh!
915
00:36:24,250 --> 00:36:25,125
[choking sounds]
916
00:36:25,208 --> 00:36:26,416
-Missy?
-[panting]
917
00:36:26,500 --> 00:36:29,083
-What are we doing?!
-Um, having sex?
918
00:36:29,416 --> 00:36:31,458
You kept jamming
your little morning wood into my back
919
00:36:31,541 --> 00:36:33,375
and saying, "Oh, I want you so bad."
920
00:36:33,458 --> 00:36:34,375
[laughs]
921
00:36:34,458 --> 00:36:36,833
Oh, you're fuckfacing me,
aren't you? Cool!
922
00:36:36,916 --> 00:36:38,833
-No, no, I'm not! No.
-Yes, you are!
923
00:36:38,916 --> 00:36:41,166
Yeah, it's okay.
I'm doing it to you, too, Simon Cowell.
924
00:36:41,250 --> 00:36:43,875
Now close your eyes
and tell me I suck at singing!
925
00:36:43,958 --> 00:36:44,958
[screaming]
926
00:36:45,041 --> 00:36:46,375
You're going to Hollywood!
927
00:36:47,125 --> 00:36:48,958
[rooster crows]
928
00:36:49,041 --> 00:36:50,125
[Tim] I'm coming now.
929
00:36:50,208 --> 00:36:51,500
-[spits]
-[Nate] Where's Godzilla?
930
00:36:51,583 --> 00:36:54,041
-She's sleeping.
-Oh, my God! You fucked her, didn't you?
931
00:36:54,125 --> 00:36:55,500
-No, I didn't.
-You sound defensive.
932
00:36:55,583 --> 00:36:57,583
-Nate, I did not.
-Did you stand on a phone book?
933
00:36:57,666 --> 00:36:58,708
I didn't fuck her, I swear.
934
00:36:58,791 --> 00:37:00,833
-Swear on your grandma's life?
-Fine. She fucked me.
935
00:37:00,916 --> 00:37:02,333
-See you soon.
-I knew it, you sick--
936
00:37:02,416 --> 00:37:03,500
[disconnects call]
937
00:37:03,583 --> 00:37:06,041
[Missy snoring loudly]
938
00:37:09,500 --> 00:37:11,500
[snoring continues]
939
00:37:31,166 --> 00:37:34,291
[Winstone] Welcome
to Mr. Winstone's version of Shark Tank!
940
00:37:34,375 --> 00:37:36,416
-[man] Yeah!
-[crowd applauding]
941
00:37:39,083 --> 00:37:40,125
I don't want coffee.
942
00:37:41,125 --> 00:37:43,375
Now, this is the real shark tank.
943
00:37:43,458 --> 00:37:47,208
There's no lights, no cameras,
but one whole hell of a lot more action.
944
00:37:47,833 --> 00:37:51,708
Because, you see, here, instead of facing
Mark Cuban or Mr. Wonderful,
945
00:37:51,791 --> 00:37:54,291
you'll be facing actual sharks,
946
00:37:54,375 --> 00:37:58,666
which my new friend Komante here tells me
are known all too well in these waters.
947
00:37:58,750 --> 00:37:59,583
Komante?
948
00:38:03,666 --> 00:38:06,041
There's sharks
all over this goddamn place.
949
00:38:07,041 --> 00:38:08,833
Komante, uh, what happened
to your fingers?
950
00:38:09,416 --> 00:38:10,250
I...
951
00:38:11,041 --> 00:38:12,333
[exhaling]
952
00:38:14,125 --> 00:38:15,083
Huh.
953
00:38:15,166 --> 00:38:16,250
-Oh, my God.
-[Winstone laughs]
954
00:38:16,333 --> 00:38:20,333
I warned you there'd be no weak-ass
trust fall kind of crap this weekend.
955
00:38:20,416 --> 00:38:22,291
And so, without further ado,
956
00:38:22,875 --> 00:38:24,291
what do you say we set sail?
957
00:38:24,375 --> 00:38:25,333
-Woo!
-Let's do it!
958
00:38:25,416 --> 00:38:26,625
[crowd applauding]
959
00:38:27,208 --> 00:38:28,708
Let's go fuck up some sharks.
960
00:38:28,791 --> 00:38:30,041
[laughs]
961
00:38:30,125 --> 00:38:30,958
[Winstone laughs]
962
00:38:31,041 --> 00:38:32,333
[Missy] Timmy!
963
00:38:33,250 --> 00:38:34,500
Don't take off!
964
00:38:35,250 --> 00:38:36,166
Oh, shit.
965
00:38:36,250 --> 00:38:37,208
Go, go.
966
00:38:37,291 --> 00:38:39,083
I'm coming, Timmy!
967
00:38:39,166 --> 00:38:40,416
Go, go, go, go, go!
968
00:38:40,500 --> 00:38:41,833
Oh, shit. Let's go.
969
00:38:41,916 --> 00:38:43,583
-Hey, help me with the rope.
-[Missy] Tim!
970
00:38:43,666 --> 00:38:46,250
Thank you. We gotta get going.
Come on! What are we doing?
971
00:38:46,333 --> 00:38:47,916
Let's go on this piece of shit.
972
00:38:48,000 --> 00:38:50,291
-Go! Hustle! Go!
-I'm coming!
973
00:38:50,375 --> 00:38:51,416
[Tim] She's catching up.
974
00:38:51,500 --> 00:38:52,916
You fucking cheetah. My God.
975
00:38:53,000 --> 00:38:54,375
Hold the fucking boat!
976
00:38:54,958 --> 00:38:57,500
-Shit.
-I love you, Tim Morris!
977
00:39:21,708 --> 00:39:22,750
[panting]
978
00:39:23,416 --> 00:39:24,458
Oh, shit.
979
00:39:24,541 --> 00:39:26,875
[grunting]
980
00:39:26,958 --> 00:39:29,333
There she is. [laughing] Hey...
981
00:39:29,416 --> 00:39:30,250
[spits]
982
00:39:31,458 --> 00:39:33,833
[in evil voice]
You can't stop the Hellstar!
983
00:39:33,916 --> 00:39:35,041
[Tim] No, no.
984
00:39:35,125 --> 00:39:37,166
[laughs] There's my baby.
985
00:39:37,250 --> 00:39:39,500
Oh, my God! You made it.
986
00:39:40,083 --> 00:39:40,916
Yeah, I did.
987
00:39:41,000 --> 00:39:42,375
-Let's join the party.
-Hey.
988
00:39:45,708 --> 00:39:47,166
[dramatic music plays]
989
00:39:50,000 --> 00:39:51,791
[Winstone]
Well, Stuart, any sharks?
990
00:39:51,875 --> 00:39:55,416
Unfortunately not, sir.
But I think I saw some salmon.
991
00:39:55,500 --> 00:39:56,500
Salmon?
992
00:39:56,833 --> 00:39:57,666
Jesus!
993
00:39:58,458 --> 00:40:00,708
All right, that's it. I'm going back down.
994
00:40:00,791 --> 00:40:04,208
We don't head back to the hotel
until we see at least one goddamn shark.
995
00:40:05,083 --> 00:40:06,416
Ted!
996
00:40:06,500 --> 00:40:07,708
You and me. Let's go.
997
00:40:07,791 --> 00:40:10,833
It's Tim, sir, but, uh... you know what?
I probably shouldn't right now.
998
00:40:10,916 --> 00:40:13,166
Why not? You haven't even been
in the water yet.
999
00:40:13,250 --> 00:40:15,416
-[man laughs]
-You're not chicken shit, are you?
1000
00:40:15,500 --> 00:40:17,208
[laughs] No.
1001
00:40:17,291 --> 00:40:19,458
Definitely not chicken shit.
No, never chicken shit.
1002
00:40:19,541 --> 00:40:22,375
-Well, then, what's the matter?
-It's actually, it's... It's more Missy.
1003
00:40:22,458 --> 00:40:25,083
She's uh... She suffers
from severe seasickness.
1004
00:40:25,166 --> 00:40:26,375
No, I don't.
1005
00:40:26,458 --> 00:40:29,375
Yes, you do. You...
And you just got over that jet lag.
1006
00:40:29,458 --> 00:40:31,166
-But I want to go down there. Seems fun.
-No.
1007
00:40:31,250 --> 00:40:33,166
But, you know, anyone can do it.
I won't get mad.
1008
00:40:33,250 --> 00:40:35,916
-You can go. You can go. I'll go last.
-Tim, you need to go.
1009
00:40:36,458 --> 00:40:37,291
[whispers] Do it.
1010
00:40:37,375 --> 00:40:40,916
I don't need to go. And you're not
fucking fine, remember?
1011
00:40:41,000 --> 00:40:44,166
You're not fucking fine,
and I need to be with you.
1012
00:40:44,250 --> 00:40:46,125
No, you fucking don't!
1013
00:40:46,625 --> 00:40:49,916
Go! Before I bitch-slap you
in front of all these motherfuckers.
1014
00:40:51,416 --> 00:40:52,250
We were...
1015
00:40:52,333 --> 00:40:54,250
-We were goofing around on my end.
-Go.
1016
00:40:59,916 --> 00:41:01,791
Are you sure you should be doing this?
1017
00:41:03,125 --> 00:41:04,166
Oh. [chuckles]
1018
00:41:04,791 --> 00:41:06,416
Uh, sure, I'm sure.
1019
00:41:07,000 --> 00:41:08,083
I ain't "scurred."
1020
00:41:09,958 --> 00:41:10,916
No, I'm cool.
1021
00:41:11,000 --> 00:41:11,833
Cool.
1022
00:41:13,208 --> 00:41:14,875
But as we both know,
you're claustrophobic.
1023
00:41:14,958 --> 00:41:18,416
Can't imagine anything more claustrophobic
than being confined to a cage.
1024
00:41:19,125 --> 00:41:20,041
Yeah.
1025
00:41:20,125 --> 00:41:21,875
I know this is
a really big weekend for you,
1026
00:41:21,958 --> 00:41:23,666
and you've worked so hard
for this promotion.
1027
00:41:23,750 --> 00:41:27,166
I just don't know that this is the best
opportunity to impress your boss.
1028
00:41:27,833 --> 00:41:28,833
Tim, I just...
1029
00:41:29,625 --> 00:41:32,458
-I would never want you to--
-[Winstone] Let's go! Daylight's burning.
1030
00:41:32,541 --> 00:41:34,916
We're not gonna see any Great Whites
up on the fucking deck.
1031
00:41:35,000 --> 00:41:36,125
[Tim] Ah...
1032
00:41:40,000 --> 00:41:41,500
That's what I'm talking about!
1033
00:41:41,791 --> 00:41:43,166
Let's get this wussy wet.
1034
00:41:43,250 --> 00:41:44,666
[laughs]
1035
00:41:45,416 --> 00:41:46,958
[sucks air]
1036
00:41:48,375 --> 00:41:49,500
[sucks air]
1037
00:41:49,583 --> 00:41:54,000
[expelling air]
1038
00:41:54,791 --> 00:41:55,625
It's okay.
1039
00:41:55,708 --> 00:41:57,125
[sucks air]
1040
00:41:57,208 --> 00:41:59,458
-You're good. Go ahead, grab it.
-Put that in my mouth now?
1041
00:41:59,541 --> 00:42:01,916
-Yeah, it goes right in your mouth.
-Yeah, Ted!
1042
00:42:02,875 --> 00:42:03,958
Hey.
1043
00:42:04,333 --> 00:42:06,416
If you see the shark that did this to me,
1044
00:42:07,208 --> 00:42:08,250
you tell him,
1045
00:42:08,708 --> 00:42:09,625
from me...
1046
00:42:10,458 --> 00:42:11,750
"Wassup?
1047
00:42:11,833 --> 00:42:13,625
Wassup, baby?"
1048
00:42:13,708 --> 00:42:16,000
Excuse me. I gotta take this. Wassup?
1049
00:42:21,541 --> 00:42:22,375
[muffled grunt]
1050
00:42:25,250 --> 00:42:27,250
[muffled grunts]
1051
00:42:30,541 --> 00:42:31,791
[muffled grunts]
1052
00:42:32,166 --> 00:42:33,083
[muffled scream]
1053
00:42:33,166 --> 00:42:34,250
[muffled groan]
1054
00:42:34,666 --> 00:42:36,125
[muffled groans]
1055
00:42:36,208 --> 00:42:37,291
[muffled grunt]
1056
00:42:38,166 --> 00:42:39,625
[toilet flushes]
1057
00:42:53,583 --> 00:42:54,416
[squeals]
1058
00:42:58,000 --> 00:43:00,541
[humming]
1059
00:43:02,166 --> 00:43:03,166
Oh, hey, what is that?
1060
00:43:04,041 --> 00:43:05,000
Is that chum?
1061
00:43:05,750 --> 00:43:07,333
It says "No chum."
1062
00:43:07,416 --> 00:43:08,625
It's illegal!
1063
00:43:08,708 --> 00:43:10,083
Okay. Well, there's no sharks,
1064
00:43:10,166 --> 00:43:11,833
so I'm trying to make it
a little more fun.
1065
00:43:11,916 --> 00:43:14,625
This is supposed to be our lunch.
We're gonna eat this later.
1066
00:43:14,708 --> 00:43:15,541
It's soup!
1067
00:43:15,625 --> 00:43:17,125
What happens if sharks smell chum?
1068
00:43:17,208 --> 00:43:19,458
-They go fucking ape shit!
-[Missy] Good.
1069
00:43:19,541 --> 00:43:20,625
-Give me that!
-Hey!
1070
00:43:20,708 --> 00:43:21,916
-[grunts] Give me--
-Hey!
1071
00:43:22,000 --> 00:43:23,458
-Let go of it, man!
-Give me that!
1072
00:43:23,541 --> 00:43:24,500
[Missy]
Stop it!
1073
00:43:24,583 --> 00:43:25,583
-[grunting]
-[screams]
1074
00:43:36,541 --> 00:43:37,375
[gagging]
1075
00:43:37,458 --> 00:43:38,708
[vomits]
1076
00:43:45,625 --> 00:43:46,916
[muffled grunting]
1077
00:43:47,500 --> 00:43:49,125
[muffled grunting]
1078
00:43:49,625 --> 00:43:50,625
[vomiting]
1079
00:43:51,708 --> 00:43:54,541
[retching]
1080
00:43:57,291 --> 00:43:58,458
[chuckling] Shark!
1081
00:43:58,541 --> 00:43:59,916
-Shark! Where?
-[laughs]
1082
00:44:01,333 --> 00:44:03,958
It's what I do. I find sharks! Yes!
1083
00:44:07,791 --> 00:44:09,416
Let's fucking party.
1084
00:44:11,958 --> 00:44:13,250
[muffled screaming]
1085
00:44:13,333 --> 00:44:14,833
[muffled dialogue]
1086
00:44:14,916 --> 00:44:16,500
[muffled panicked whimpering]
1087
00:44:22,000 --> 00:44:24,333
[Tim continues whimpering]
1088
00:44:27,416 --> 00:44:30,333
[muffled screaming]
1089
00:44:34,625 --> 00:44:35,916
I don't know. I liked Free Willy.
1090
00:44:36,000 --> 00:44:37,833
Thought it was good.
I can see why you wouldn't.
1091
00:44:37,916 --> 00:44:40,500
I didn't think the whale was likable.
Got to have a likable whale.
1092
00:44:40,583 --> 00:44:43,208
I mean, otherwise, if the whale's
an asshole, who's gonna care?
1093
00:44:43,750 --> 00:44:46,625
[muffled grunts]
1094
00:44:46,708 --> 00:44:48,500
[muffled screaming]
1095
00:44:49,041 --> 00:44:50,416
[muffled] Fucking asshole!
1096
00:44:53,708 --> 00:44:54,791
[dance music playing]
1097
00:44:59,333 --> 00:45:02,666
[muffled screaming]
1098
00:45:03,333 --> 00:45:04,250
[gasps] Help!
1099
00:45:04,333 --> 00:45:05,458
Holy shit! It's in the cage.
1100
00:45:05,541 --> 00:45:07,666
-Help! It's a monster!
-[Nate] Tim!
1101
00:45:07,750 --> 00:45:09,041
[Tim]
Help!
1102
00:45:09,125 --> 00:45:09,958
Tim!
1103
00:45:10,041 --> 00:45:11,125
[grunts]
1104
00:45:12,041 --> 00:45:13,250
Fuck you!
1105
00:45:14,458 --> 00:45:17,875
[grunting]
1106
00:45:17,958 --> 00:45:20,583
You took three fingers,
but you left the nub!
1107
00:45:21,000 --> 00:45:22,708
-[gasps]
-[crowd screams]
1108
00:45:22,791 --> 00:45:24,208
[woman] Oh, my God!
1109
00:45:24,791 --> 00:45:25,708
[man] Oh, my God.
1110
00:45:26,750 --> 00:45:28,083
[Komante panting]
1111
00:45:28,166 --> 00:45:29,416
-[gasps] [screaming]
-[Nate] Tim!
1112
00:45:29,500 --> 00:45:31,166
Oh, my God!
1113
00:45:31,666 --> 00:45:33,666
-Get me out!
-[Missy] Oh, my God!
1114
00:45:33,750 --> 00:45:36,166
-[Tim panting]
-Oh, my God! Tim!
1115
00:45:36,250 --> 00:45:38,541
-I thought we lost you.
-[groans] Get her the fuck off me.
1116
00:45:38,625 --> 00:45:40,041
-Wait, wait, wait.
-[Tim coughs]
1117
00:45:40,125 --> 00:45:41,333
[Rich] Where's Winstone?
1118
00:45:44,041 --> 00:45:45,000
[screams]
1119
00:45:45,083 --> 00:45:46,916
Oh, my God! You killed him!
1120
00:45:47,000 --> 00:45:48,041
[man 1]
Get him up.
1121
00:45:48,125 --> 00:45:49,666
[man 2] You, in the back, move on back.
1122
00:45:49,750 --> 00:45:51,958
Everybody back off. I'm certified in CPR.
1123
00:45:52,750 --> 00:45:54,125
Okay, Mr. Winstone.
1124
00:45:55,291 --> 00:45:57,041
-[grunts]
-Are you sure you should do this?
1125
00:45:57,125 --> 00:45:57,958
Back off!
1126
00:46:00,041 --> 00:46:01,250
-[Missy panting]
-[spits]
1127
00:46:01,333 --> 00:46:02,791
[crowd cheering]
1128
00:46:02,875 --> 00:46:03,750
Oh!
1129
00:46:04,833 --> 00:46:05,791
-Fuck yeah!
-Thank God!
1130
00:46:07,958 --> 00:46:08,958
Do me next.
1131
00:46:10,166 --> 00:46:11,708
Any... Any pretty lady.
1132
00:46:12,333 --> 00:46:14,166
Any pretty lady. Do me.
1133
00:46:15,375 --> 00:46:17,250
It's wide open. Anybody!
1134
00:46:18,291 --> 00:46:21,791
I was just trying to create a magical
moment between you and your boss.
1135
00:46:22,125 --> 00:46:25,250
Didn't you see that sign that said,
"Absolutely no chumming"?
1136
00:46:25,333 --> 00:46:28,708
It wasn't chum. It was my throw-up
from smelling the chum.
1137
00:46:28,791 --> 00:46:30,541
What were you thinking, throwing up, then,
1138
00:46:30,625 --> 00:46:33,375
directly over the shark cage
that I was in?
1139
00:46:33,458 --> 00:46:35,500
You know, you need to take
a chill pill, okay?
1140
00:46:35,583 --> 00:46:38,833
Oh, why don't you write me a prescription?
You're a fucking doctor of 50,000 things.
1141
00:46:38,916 --> 00:46:41,125
Actually, I would never write
a prescription for something
1142
00:46:41,208 --> 00:46:42,583
if I'm not certified to do so.
1143
00:46:43,166 --> 00:46:46,291
What? I already said I'm sorry
I almost killed your boss.
1144
00:46:46,375 --> 00:46:48,500
-What more do you want?
-Not to almost kill my boss.
1145
00:46:48,583 --> 00:46:49,625
It would be a huge help.
1146
00:46:49,708 --> 00:46:50,875
Okay, you know what, Tim?
1147
00:46:50,958 --> 00:46:53,541
If you want some girl
who's just gonna sit at the hotel
1148
00:46:53,625 --> 00:46:55,166
and just be so happy every night
1149
00:46:55,250 --> 00:46:57,458
like a boring sack of potatoes
you get to fuck
1150
00:46:57,541 --> 00:46:59,583
and then she could just not talk all day,
1151
00:46:59,666 --> 00:47:01,708
well, then, you brought the wrong Missy!
1152
00:47:01,791 --> 00:47:03,000
Oh!
1153
00:47:03,083 --> 00:47:04,166
Did I... [scoffs]
1154
00:47:04,250 --> 00:47:06,083
-Where are you going?
-Oh, fuck you.
1155
00:47:06,666 --> 00:47:08,041
-[cell phone chimes]
-Jeez.
1156
00:47:10,500 --> 00:47:11,750
Oh, snap.
1157
00:47:15,541 --> 00:47:16,458
Whoa!
1158
00:47:20,458 --> 00:47:22,000
[coughs] [grunts]
1159
00:47:22,083 --> 00:47:24,791
[heaving]
1160
00:47:24,875 --> 00:47:27,750
[continues heaving]
1161
00:47:27,833 --> 00:47:29,291
[coughs]
1162
00:47:36,291 --> 00:47:37,750
[Missy] Supposedly, he's 5'7",
1163
00:47:37,833 --> 00:47:39,708
which is weird,
because his grandma is 6'1".
1164
00:47:39,791 --> 00:47:41,875
But it doesn't bother me.
I just wear flats around him.
1165
00:47:41,958 --> 00:47:43,541
[Tim]
Good God, this blab-alanche.
1166
00:47:43,625 --> 00:47:45,291
-[Missy] If we ever have kids--
-[Tim] Hey.
1167
00:47:45,375 --> 00:47:46,250
Missy.
1168
00:47:46,916 --> 00:47:48,458
-Can you come in?
-Yeah. Hi, Tim.
1169
00:47:49,500 --> 00:47:50,333
Look.
1170
00:47:51,250 --> 00:47:52,291
I know you're sorry, okay?
1171
00:47:52,375 --> 00:47:54,375
Don't degrade yourself
by begging for my forgiveness.
1172
00:47:54,458 --> 00:47:57,625
-I'm actually not.
-You gotta meet our neighbor, Barbara.
1173
00:47:57,708 --> 00:47:59,791
She and her husband
heard us going at it last night.
1174
00:47:59,875 --> 00:48:01,875
-[mumbles]
-They almost called security.
1175
00:48:01,958 --> 00:48:04,500
They thought there was a little girl
being tortured in here.
1176
00:48:05,083 --> 00:48:06,875
-You're the little girl.
-Yes, I understand.
1177
00:48:06,958 --> 00:48:08,125
Did you? Did you get that?
1178
00:48:08,208 --> 00:48:09,666
-In that scenario, yes.
-Mm-hmm.
1179
00:48:09,750 --> 00:48:10,791
I feel bad for her though.
1180
00:48:10,875 --> 00:48:12,791
She said her husband hasn't made
a noise like that
1181
00:48:12,875 --> 00:48:14,541
since their honeymoon 30 years ago.
1182
00:48:15,125 --> 00:48:18,083
So, I gave her some free tips.
[clicks tongue]
1183
00:48:18,166 --> 00:48:19,166
No, no, don't do that.
1184
00:48:19,791 --> 00:48:21,041
-Do what?
-Give tips.
1185
00:48:21,125 --> 00:48:22,250
People don't like tips.
1186
00:48:22,333 --> 00:48:23,791
-People love tips.
-No.
1187
00:48:23,875 --> 00:48:24,958
-They do.
-No.
1188
00:48:25,041 --> 00:48:26,541
-They like advice tips.
-No.
1189
00:48:26,625 --> 00:48:28,166
-Cash tips.
-No.
1190
00:48:28,250 --> 00:48:29,708
-Your dick tip.
-Hey! No. Missy.
1191
00:48:29,791 --> 00:48:31,666
-They love your dick tip.
-Missy. Missy!
1192
00:48:34,625 --> 00:48:35,791
-I'm just try--
-Your dick tip!
1193
00:48:35,875 --> 00:48:37,458
-Don't hit it right on--
-Let me touch it!
1194
00:48:37,541 --> 00:48:39,000
-You touched it.
-You're such a bitch.
1195
00:48:39,083 --> 00:48:41,000
Come on. Listen. I'm sorry.
1196
00:48:41,083 --> 00:48:42,083
-All right.
-Now...
1197
00:48:42,500 --> 00:48:44,250
I have to go meet with my team,
1198
00:48:44,333 --> 00:48:46,125
and you need to stay away.
1199
00:48:46,208 --> 00:48:47,208
-Okay?
-Aww. [meows]
1200
00:48:47,291 --> 00:48:49,791
This is a real work thing.
So, I'm not kidding.
1201
00:48:50,125 --> 00:48:51,083
It's perfect, actually.
1202
00:48:51,166 --> 00:48:54,458
Barbara and I were talking about going
to the spa and having a little girl time.
1203
00:48:56,041 --> 00:48:57,041
-Oh, yeah?
-Mm-hmm.
1204
00:48:57,666 --> 00:48:58,625
That's a good idea.
1205
00:48:58,708 --> 00:49:00,166
You should go to a spa,
1206
00:49:00,250 --> 00:49:03,333
and then maybe, you know, like canoe out
to an island and just chill,
1207
00:49:03,416 --> 00:49:05,416
like, if there's one nearby or far.
1208
00:49:05,500 --> 00:49:06,916
["Movers & Shapers" plays]
1209
00:49:07,000 --> 00:49:08,791
[Tim] All right, great rehearsal, guys,
1210
00:49:08,875 --> 00:49:12,000
but remember, we have to give
the performance of a lifetime.
1211
00:49:12,083 --> 00:49:15,333
There's gonna be a lot of eyes on us
at this talent show with Winstone,
1212
00:49:15,416 --> 00:49:17,041
so we got to bring it big time.
1213
00:49:17,125 --> 00:49:19,666
Let's go get Timmy that job!
So we can all keep ours.
1214
00:49:19,750 --> 00:49:21,916
That would be nice.
We gotta beat The Barracuda.
1215
00:49:22,000 --> 00:49:24,500
Come on, hands in. All right.
You know the drill.
1216
00:49:25,333 --> 00:49:26,916
What are we gonna do tomorrow, guys?
1217
00:49:27,000 --> 00:49:30,500
[all] Inspire! Achieve! Together!
1218
00:49:30,583 --> 00:49:31,416
I give it a B-plus.
1219
00:49:31,500 --> 00:49:33,833
Oh, my God! Look, it's the Navy fat Seals.
1220
00:49:34,333 --> 00:49:35,166
[Nate chuckles]
1221
00:49:35,250 --> 00:49:36,875
-Hit the gym, guys.
-I'm serious.
1222
00:49:36,958 --> 00:49:38,333
Tim, I'm looking out for you.
1223
00:49:38,416 --> 00:49:39,333
-All right, dude?
-Mmm.
1224
00:49:39,416 --> 00:49:41,333
When are we gonna get
the right Missy here?
1225
00:49:41,416 --> 00:49:44,416
I can't, because the wrong Missy
is still here.
1226
00:49:44,500 --> 00:49:46,208
[sighs] I was hoping you killed her.
1227
00:49:46,291 --> 00:49:49,375
No. She's at the spa.
She made fast friends with our neighbor.
1228
00:49:50,083 --> 00:49:52,958
-What neighbor?
-I don't know, the lady right next to us.
1229
00:49:53,041 --> 00:49:55,291
Please tell me her name is not Barbara.
1230
00:49:55,375 --> 00:49:57,791
I think it is. It is Barbara.
Yeah, why? Do you know her?
1231
00:49:57,875 --> 00:49:58,708
Fuck!
1232
00:49:59,375 --> 00:50:04,208
When I upgraded your suite,
I put you right next to Jack Winstone
1233
00:50:04,291 --> 00:50:05,750
and his wife...
1234
00:50:06,416 --> 00:50:07,833
[singing] Barbara!
1235
00:50:07,916 --> 00:50:08,875
Go, go, go, go!
1236
00:50:10,958 --> 00:50:11,791
[panicked cry]
1237
00:50:12,125 --> 00:50:13,333
[panting]
1238
00:50:15,000 --> 00:50:15,916
Peace out.
1239
00:50:16,791 --> 00:50:17,666
Come on!
1240
00:50:19,166 --> 00:50:20,500
Hi, everybody, I'm Nate.
1241
00:50:22,166 --> 00:50:24,375
Ugh. So pathetic.
1242
00:50:28,583 --> 00:50:30,458
Missy? Missy!
1243
00:50:31,000 --> 00:50:31,833
Missy?
1244
00:50:33,500 --> 00:50:34,333
Missy?
1245
00:50:35,333 --> 00:50:36,375
Missy?
1246
00:50:38,000 --> 00:50:39,208
[grunts] [gasps]
1247
00:50:39,291 --> 00:50:40,166
Oh, boy.
1248
00:50:40,250 --> 00:50:41,541
Wait a second.
1249
00:50:41,625 --> 00:50:42,833
You're not my wife!
1250
00:50:43,416 --> 00:50:44,291
Swish!
1251
00:50:44,375 --> 00:50:45,250
[groans]
1252
00:50:45,333 --> 00:50:46,916
Unbelievable.
1253
00:50:47,000 --> 00:50:48,291
-[door closes]
-Resume.
1254
00:50:48,958 --> 00:50:52,208
Hey, there. Did you happen to see
a tall brunette girl?
1255
00:50:52,291 --> 00:50:53,208
Her name's Missy.
1256
00:50:53,291 --> 00:50:56,083
Yeah, um, she already left.
But I hope everything's okay.
1257
00:50:56,666 --> 00:50:57,500
Why would you say that?
1258
00:50:57,583 --> 00:51:00,750
Oh, the older woman who she was with
seemed extremely emotional.
1259
00:51:00,833 --> 00:51:02,875
-[exhales]
-Nobody died, did they?
1260
00:51:02,958 --> 00:51:04,125
She's about to.
1261
00:51:04,916 --> 00:51:05,750
[door closes]
1262
00:51:07,083 --> 00:51:08,250
♪ Nom, na-nom, na-nom ♪
1263
00:51:08,333 --> 00:51:09,791
What did you do and what did you say?
1264
00:51:10,333 --> 00:51:12,416
-To who?
-Barbara, at the spa.
1265
00:51:12,500 --> 00:51:15,625
Tim, I love you more than anything,
but that's doctor-patient privilege.
1266
00:51:15,708 --> 00:51:17,333
-You're not a doctor!
-Yes, I am.
1267
00:51:17,416 --> 00:51:19,125
I'm a certified marriage counselor.
1268
00:51:19,208 --> 00:51:20,291
Of course you are.
1269
00:51:20,375 --> 00:51:23,250
Even if you were, she's not your patient.
1270
00:51:23,333 --> 00:51:24,625
Actually, she sort of is.
1271
00:51:24,708 --> 00:51:27,291
Her husband is an asshole,
but he's rich as shit.
1272
00:51:28,208 --> 00:51:30,041
She paid me in cash
and put me on retainer.
1273
00:51:30,125 --> 00:51:32,041
[squeaks] Looks like I got a client.
1274
00:51:32,125 --> 00:51:35,041
We came here for your work,
but I'm the one doing all the business.
1275
00:51:35,125 --> 00:51:35,958
Isn't that crazy?
1276
00:51:36,041 --> 00:51:37,500
Do you ever think maybe
you're the one
1277
00:51:37,583 --> 00:51:39,541
-that needs certified help?
-No.
1278
00:51:39,625 --> 00:51:41,666
The other day you told me
you were gonna jump off a bridge.
1279
00:51:41,750 --> 00:51:43,708
That's what you do
when you go bungee jumping.
1280
00:51:45,000 --> 00:51:46,416
Anybody else want to do this?
1281
00:51:46,500 --> 00:51:47,583
I'm bailing.
1282
00:51:47,666 --> 00:51:49,083
Where the fuck did the guy go?
1283
00:51:49,166 --> 00:51:50,375
You said I saved your life.
1284
00:51:50,458 --> 00:51:53,250
You might have. Do you know
how many people die bungee jumping?
1285
00:51:53,333 --> 00:51:54,583
It's extremely dangerous.
1286
00:51:54,666 --> 00:51:56,166
I got your text, and I was like,
1287
00:51:56,250 --> 00:52:00,416
"I'm not gonna do anything dangerous
ever again because I am loved by someone."
1288
00:52:01,000 --> 00:52:01,833
[Tim] Missy.
1289
00:52:03,000 --> 00:52:06,375
I need you to tell me
exactly what was said in that spa.
1290
00:52:07,208 --> 00:52:09,791
I gave Barb the remedy
for her relationship.
1291
00:52:09,875 --> 00:52:11,791
Which was...
1292
00:52:12,458 --> 00:52:15,083
Dump the sorry son of a bitch. Ah!
1293
00:52:15,166 --> 00:52:16,333
Shit!
1294
00:52:17,416 --> 00:52:18,541
Are you serious?
1295
00:52:18,625 --> 00:52:21,458
Yes, of course I'm serious.
Have I ever joked around?
1296
00:52:22,041 --> 00:52:24,083
I told her not to spend another minute
with that guy.
1297
00:52:24,166 --> 00:52:26,000
Do you have any idea
what you have done?
1298
00:52:26,083 --> 00:52:28,750
Mmm, saved someone
from a miserable marriage?
1299
00:52:28,833 --> 00:52:31,416
You broke up my boss's marriage!
1300
00:52:32,416 --> 00:52:34,250
Her husband Jack is Jack...
1301
00:52:34,333 --> 00:52:37,041
Winstone! Yes!
1302
00:52:37,125 --> 00:52:38,166
Oh, God.
1303
00:52:38,250 --> 00:52:39,916
[Winstone]
That's it. I am leaving!
1304
00:52:40,000 --> 00:52:40,833
[door slams]
1305
00:52:40,916 --> 00:52:41,958
[Tim] Shit.
1306
00:52:42,041 --> 00:52:44,791
-Oh, Mr. Winstone, Evander Holyfield--
-Shut the fuck up, Stuart.
1307
00:52:46,416 --> 00:52:48,750
Evander, he's gonna
have to call you back.
1308
00:52:51,083 --> 00:52:53,125
Oh, now it's making a lot more sense.
[chuckles]
1309
00:52:53,208 --> 00:52:55,958
No, this makes no sense,
and you need to fix it.
1310
00:53:04,333 --> 00:53:05,916
[groans]
1311
00:53:07,625 --> 00:53:08,666
Keep 'em coming.
1312
00:53:09,416 --> 00:53:11,791
They said they don't have
any grenadine left.
1313
00:53:12,166 --> 00:53:14,916
Then use fucking syrup.
I don't give a shit, Stuart.
1314
00:53:15,291 --> 00:53:16,708
Just make sure I get drunk.
1315
00:53:16,791 --> 00:53:17,625
[water splashing]
1316
00:53:21,833 --> 00:53:23,291
I am so fucked.
1317
00:53:23,375 --> 00:53:24,583
Don't worry.
1318
00:53:24,666 --> 00:53:26,083
Your girlfriend will fix it.
1319
00:53:27,750 --> 00:53:28,666
Hey, Jack.
1320
00:53:28,750 --> 00:53:30,083
You look depressed.
1321
00:53:30,750 --> 00:53:32,041
I don't want to talk about it.
1322
00:53:32,125 --> 00:53:33,375
Mmm, I'm a good listener.
1323
00:53:33,875 --> 00:53:36,208
You can tell me anything you want to
about Barbara.
1324
00:53:36,291 --> 00:53:38,666
[chuckles] Perfect.
I have a little fight with my wife,
1325
00:53:38,750 --> 00:53:40,833
and it becomes front page news
for the whole company.
1326
00:53:40,916 --> 00:53:43,041
I'd say the whole hotel,
the way you were shouting.
1327
00:53:43,125 --> 00:53:44,541
[laughs] You sounded like a psycho.
1328
00:53:44,625 --> 00:53:45,666
[chuckles]
1329
00:53:46,375 --> 00:53:47,416
[spits]
1330
00:53:48,375 --> 00:53:50,083
This tastes like fucking syrup.
1331
00:53:50,166 --> 00:53:53,166
-You said if there was no grenadine--
-I would never say anything that stupid!
1332
00:53:54,458 --> 00:53:57,458
And Stuart, take some goddamn
responsibility in your life, will you?
1333
00:53:57,541 --> 00:53:58,375
Okay.
1334
00:53:58,458 --> 00:54:00,708
Now, look, someone's been meddling
in my marriage.
1335
00:54:00,791 --> 00:54:01,875
-Mmm.
-And when I find out
1336
00:54:01,958 --> 00:54:04,666
who brainwashed my Barbara,
I'm gonna have them wiped--
1337
00:54:06,791 --> 00:54:08,541
[hisses]
1338
00:54:08,625 --> 00:54:11,125
[in evil voice]
Barbara was brainwashed by you!
1339
00:54:11,208 --> 00:54:12,666
-Oh, good Lord.
-Yeah.
1340
00:54:12,750 --> 00:54:14,166
Why are you talking that way?
1341
00:54:14,250 --> 00:54:15,333
Why? Is it scaring you?
1342
00:54:15,416 --> 00:54:17,208
Maybe you need to be scared.
1343
00:54:17,291 --> 00:54:20,125
Scared you're gonna lose
the only supportive adult relationship
1344
00:54:20,208 --> 00:54:21,083
you've ever had?
1345
00:54:21,166 --> 00:54:25,416
-All right, stop using that voice.
-Stop being a bad husband, Floppy Bags.
1346
00:54:26,166 --> 00:54:27,000
[blathers]
1347
00:54:27,083 --> 00:54:28,791
Hey! Whoa. Mr. Winstone.
1348
00:54:28,875 --> 00:54:31,208
Listen, um, Missy,
why don't we give him some space?
1349
00:54:31,291 --> 00:54:34,625
Wait just a second. How is it you know
so much about me and my marriage?
1350
00:54:34,708 --> 00:54:37,250
You're not the one who introduced her
to that psycho shrink?
1351
00:54:37,333 --> 00:54:38,166
Oh, no.
1352
00:54:38,583 --> 00:54:40,000
I am that psycho shrink.
1353
00:54:40,083 --> 00:54:43,250
You, you're the one responsible
for trying to ruin my marriage?
1354
00:54:43,333 --> 00:54:45,916
Marriage is about love.
It's about being there.
1355
00:54:46,000 --> 00:54:48,208
You need to love her.
You have to be present, Jack.
1356
00:54:50,333 --> 00:54:51,625
Oh, he can't take it!
1357
00:54:51,708 --> 00:54:53,041
He can't take it, everyone.
1358
00:54:53,125 --> 00:54:56,208
-I'm starting to like this girl.
-You stay the hell away from me.
1359
00:54:56,291 --> 00:54:58,083
Oh! [grunting]
1360
00:54:58,166 --> 00:54:59,541
-Shit!
-Oh! Oh, whoa, whoa.
1361
00:54:59,625 --> 00:55:01,041
Oh, fuck!
1362
00:55:01,666 --> 00:55:02,791
[groans] My neck.
1363
00:55:02,875 --> 00:55:03,750
Get her off me!
1364
00:55:03,833 --> 00:55:05,125
[Missy] Relax, everybody.
1365
00:55:05,208 --> 00:55:08,583
I'm a certified chiropractic practitioner,
okay? I know what I'm doing, okay?
1366
00:55:08,666 --> 00:55:10,791
Winstone, we gotta pop
this puppy back into place ASAP.
1367
00:55:10,875 --> 00:55:12,250
-No, no.
-One.
1368
00:55:12,333 --> 00:55:14,041
-Don't even think about it.
-Two.
1369
00:55:14,125 --> 00:55:15,125
Three!
1370
00:55:15,833 --> 00:55:16,666
Four!
1371
00:55:18,000 --> 00:55:20,041
-Five!
-[Winstone grunts]
1372
00:55:20,125 --> 00:55:22,208
Okay. You want to get your wife back?
1373
00:55:22,750 --> 00:55:24,291
-[groans]
-[Missy] Do you?
1374
00:55:24,875 --> 00:55:28,291
Well, if you want help, you've got
to be willing to accept the help.
1375
00:55:28,833 --> 00:55:30,666
-Yeah?
-[groans]
1376
00:55:30,750 --> 00:55:33,333
You, Barracuda's dumb husband,
pick him up, take him up to his room.
1377
00:55:33,416 --> 00:55:35,500
-Get in there, you idiot.
-Go very easy on him.
1378
00:55:35,583 --> 00:55:36,416
[groans]
1379
00:55:36,500 --> 00:55:37,583
Tim, call the front desk.
1380
00:55:37,666 --> 00:55:39,416
Tell them we need hot towels,
a bucket of ice,
1381
00:55:39,500 --> 00:55:41,708
and a tub of Vaseline
sent up to Winstone's suite.
1382
00:55:41,791 --> 00:55:43,583
I'm sorry. What... [pants]
1383
00:55:43,666 --> 00:55:44,875
I'm sorry. What happened?
1384
00:55:57,791 --> 00:55:58,666
Good morning.
1385
00:55:59,208 --> 00:56:01,000
Hey, uh, I'm gonna check out.
1386
00:56:01,083 --> 00:56:03,000
No problem. And the missus as well?
1387
00:56:03,083 --> 00:56:04,583
She's not the missus.
1388
00:56:04,666 --> 00:56:06,541
Ouch. Buyer's remorse, huh?
1389
00:56:07,166 --> 00:56:09,666
-Yeah.
-Tim, there you are!
1390
00:56:09,750 --> 00:56:10,666
Oh, fuck.
1391
00:56:10,750 --> 00:56:12,458
I've been looking all over for you.
1392
00:56:12,541 --> 00:56:14,375
What are you doing?
What's-- What's happening?
1393
00:56:15,208 --> 00:56:16,375
I'm going home.
1394
00:56:16,458 --> 00:56:19,166
I gotta get back to Portland.
I gotta start looking for a new job.
1395
00:56:19,250 --> 00:56:20,125
Just breathe, okay?
1396
00:56:20,208 --> 00:56:22,625
I spent the entire night last night
with Barbara and Winstone.
1397
00:56:22,708 --> 00:56:23,541
[groans]
1398
00:56:23,625 --> 00:56:27,750
He's a stubborn old mule,
but I gave him one very deep release.
1399
00:56:27,833 --> 00:56:30,166
You jerked off my boss
in front of his wife?
1400
00:56:31,250 --> 00:56:33,791
Emotional release. You nasty.
1401
00:56:33,875 --> 00:56:36,708
Again, I can't get into it
due to the whole doctor-patient thingie,
1402
00:56:36,791 --> 00:56:39,291
but he has a lot of demons
to work through.
1403
00:56:39,375 --> 00:56:43,458
But he also has a really good soul,
and he loves you.
1404
00:56:43,541 --> 00:56:44,416
Me?
1405
00:56:44,833 --> 00:56:46,500
Uh, no, he fucking hates me.
1406
00:56:46,583 --> 00:56:47,750
Look at me, Tim.
1407
00:56:48,375 --> 00:56:49,583
You told me to fix it,
1408
00:56:49,666 --> 00:56:50,875
and I fixed it.
1409
00:56:51,875 --> 00:56:53,291
Winstone loves you.
1410
00:56:54,250 --> 00:56:58,208
Make some noise, you corporate sluts!
1411
00:56:58,291 --> 00:57:01,083
Come on. That's what's up.
1412
00:57:01,166 --> 00:57:03,000
[imitates guitar]
1413
00:57:03,083 --> 00:57:06,875
-This guy fucking parties.
-Anyway, for our next talent show act,
1414
00:57:07,458 --> 00:57:09,625
give it up for the northeast sales team
1415
00:57:10,208 --> 00:57:11,958
led by Senior VP,
1416
00:57:12,041 --> 00:57:14,000
my dude, Tim Morris!
1417
00:57:14,083 --> 00:57:15,958
-[audience applauds]
-I love that guy!
1418
00:57:16,041 --> 00:57:17,291
[laughs]
1419
00:57:17,916 --> 00:57:18,750
Yeah.
1420
00:57:18,833 --> 00:57:20,291
Yeah. Winstone.
1421
00:57:20,375 --> 00:57:24,916
All right. The northeast sales team
is going to inspire us
1422
00:57:25,000 --> 00:57:27,541
with some shadow dancing.
1423
00:57:28,291 --> 00:57:29,416
Ooh.
1424
00:57:32,416 --> 00:57:37,250
[Nate] At C of A, we understand
financial decisors are difficult.
1425
00:57:37,333 --> 00:57:39,291
That's why we have the...
1426
00:57:41,708 --> 00:57:42,833
"Best shart"?
1427
00:57:42,916 --> 00:57:44,916
What is that, a challenge? [laughs]
1428
00:57:48,958 --> 00:57:49,791
[audience applauds]
1429
00:57:49,875 --> 00:57:51,000
It's "short."
1430
00:57:51,083 --> 00:57:53,750
[Nate] That's right.
We are the nation's best short...
1431
00:57:55,125 --> 00:57:56,583
Come on. Here it comes.
1432
00:57:56,666 --> 00:57:59,958
Termil... Best-- Best short-term loan!
Oh, that's good!
1433
00:58:00,041 --> 00:58:01,333
That's very good.
1434
00:58:01,416 --> 00:58:02,583
Keep it up, Tim!
1435
00:58:03,083 --> 00:58:04,125
[whispers] Keep going.
1436
00:58:04,625 --> 00:58:06,583
-[Nate] Oh. Ah. Fuck.
-[glass shatters]
1437
00:58:06,666 --> 00:58:08,791
Hey, Lucy, get me another Mai Tai.
1438
00:58:09,333 --> 00:58:12,000
Maybe you need cash
for a trip to see Paris.
1439
00:58:12,458 --> 00:58:14,625
Like these two lovebirds.
1440
00:58:17,291 --> 00:58:18,583
[audience applauds]
1441
00:58:20,166 --> 00:58:22,333
Aww. Isn't that sweet?
1442
00:58:24,666 --> 00:58:27,250
[Nate] Oh, this is so boring.
1443
00:58:28,375 --> 00:58:31,000
-What in the fuck is happening?
-[chuckles]
1444
00:58:31,375 --> 00:58:33,041
[Nate slurring]
Anyway, you can count on us
1445
00:58:33,125 --> 00:58:35,916
for that mortgage
for your house made of people.
1446
00:58:36,000 --> 00:58:38,333
There must be some brilliant minds
behind that curtain.
1447
00:58:38,416 --> 00:58:40,166
[Tim]
Get that thing out of my face.
1448
00:58:40,250 --> 00:58:42,666
-Oh, would you relax? I tucked it.
-[Tim gagging]
1449
00:58:42,750 --> 00:58:45,791
[Nate] It's no secret
that Credit of America is among what the--
1450
00:58:45,875 --> 00:58:47,208
-[man] Aah!
-[audience gasps]
1451
00:58:47,291 --> 00:58:49,375
No, that's part of it. That's part of it.
1452
00:58:49,791 --> 00:58:51,375
-[man groans]
-[audience applauds]
1453
00:58:52,916 --> 00:58:54,291
How did he think of that?
1454
00:58:55,833 --> 00:58:57,833
[Nate slurring]
Whatever life throws at you,
1455
00:58:57,916 --> 00:58:59,791
like tax fraud or bath salts,
1456
00:58:59,875 --> 00:59:03,291
C of A is here to help,
so you can just watch the fireworks.
1457
00:59:04,500 --> 00:59:05,500
[audience applauds]
1458
00:59:08,875 --> 00:59:11,291
Looks like someone shooting lemons
out of their ass.
1459
00:59:11,375 --> 00:59:12,541
[Cal Sr. grunts]
1460
00:59:12,625 --> 00:59:14,500
-[audience murmurs]
-[Cal Sr. grunts]
1461
00:59:14,583 --> 00:59:16,166
-[Tim] Get it!
-[Cal Sr.] I got it.
1462
00:59:16,250 --> 00:59:18,208
-[Tim] Pick it up.
-[Cal Sr.] I got it. I got it.
1463
00:59:19,250 --> 00:59:20,750
-[squirts]
-[Tim] Oh, God!
1464
00:59:20,833 --> 00:59:22,416
Oh, that's a fucking squeesh!
1465
00:59:22,500 --> 00:59:24,583
People, we're looking at great art.
1466
00:59:25,208 --> 00:59:26,041
Let's hear it!
1467
00:59:26,125 --> 00:59:27,500
[man grunts] It's so beautiful.
1468
00:59:29,125 --> 00:59:31,166
[Nate] All right,
the northeast sales team!
1469
00:59:31,250 --> 00:59:33,500
Give it up for the northeast sales team!
1470
00:59:34,291 --> 00:59:36,833
Woo! Let's hear it for Tim Morris!
1471
00:59:36,916 --> 00:59:38,250
I love that guy!
1472
00:59:39,000 --> 00:59:39,958
Well done!
1473
00:59:40,916 --> 00:59:42,875
Bravissimo.
[laughs]
1474
00:59:44,041 --> 00:59:46,291
That was amazing!
1475
00:59:46,375 --> 00:59:48,875
-All right. What did you do to him?
-Mmm, him who?
1476
00:59:48,958 --> 00:59:50,583
Winstone, that's who.
1477
00:59:50,958 --> 00:59:52,500
What happened in that room last night?
1478
00:59:52,583 --> 00:59:55,458
What did you do to make my boss
suddenly love me?
1479
00:59:55,541 --> 00:59:58,541
Hey, don't discount yourself, Tim.
You're extremely lovable.
1480
00:59:59,125 --> 01:00:01,416
-Uh-huh.
-Let's just say I left him...
1481
01:00:01,791 --> 01:00:03,041
totally hypnotized.
1482
01:00:03,125 --> 01:00:04,958
So, that's code for you did jerk him off.
1483
01:00:05,041 --> 01:00:07,291
No, I'm not gonna jerk off
your younger boss.
1484
01:00:07,833 --> 01:00:10,083
No. It's code for "I hypnotized him."
1485
01:00:10,166 --> 01:00:11,750
You hypnotized him?
1486
01:00:11,833 --> 01:00:14,708
And when I was swimming
through the depths of his soul,
1487
01:00:14,791 --> 01:00:18,875
I found the one thing
Jack has an undying love for.
1488
01:00:19,291 --> 01:00:20,125
His Nana.
1489
01:00:20,833 --> 01:00:22,708
Thus, when he sees you,
1490
01:00:23,250 --> 01:00:24,666
he sees Nana.
1491
01:00:25,083 --> 01:00:26,916
So, this guy thinks I'm his Nana?
1492
01:00:27,500 --> 01:00:28,625
You're welcome.
1493
01:00:30,083 --> 01:00:30,958
[microphone feedback]
1494
01:00:31,041 --> 01:00:32,208
[coughs]
1495
01:00:32,875 --> 01:00:33,750
What's going on?!
1496
01:00:33,833 --> 01:00:34,833
-C of A!
-[audience applauds]
1497
01:00:34,916 --> 01:00:37,375
Yeah! [shouts]
1498
01:00:37,458 --> 01:00:39,500
All right, our final act,
1499
01:00:39,583 --> 01:00:42,458
the southeast sales group
that have composed
1500
01:00:42,541 --> 01:00:46,833
a rather expen-- exprensive
musical performance
1501
01:00:46,916 --> 01:00:48,833
led by their team leader,
1502
01:00:48,916 --> 01:00:52,125
the Barracuda of Portland,
Jess Sheppard!
1503
01:00:52,208 --> 01:00:54,166
-[crowd applauds]
-[gags]
1504
01:00:54,250 --> 01:00:56,708
-[coughing]
-Yeah, I sort of hypnotized him
1505
01:00:56,791 --> 01:00:59,541
to only think negative thoughts
when he hears her name.
1506
01:01:00,083 --> 01:01:00,916
Oh.
1507
01:01:01,000 --> 01:01:04,041
["The Right Stuff" playing]
1508
01:01:09,125 --> 01:01:10,458
♪ The right staff ♪
1509
01:01:11,083 --> 01:01:13,041
♪ First Union was a great bank ♪
1510
01:01:13,125 --> 01:01:14,708
♪ C of A, first class ♪
1511
01:01:15,291 --> 01:01:17,166
♪ But now that we've united ♪
1512
01:01:17,250 --> 01:01:19,208
♪ You know we will kick ass ♪
1513
01:01:19,291 --> 01:01:21,125
♪ We got the right staff ♪
1514
01:01:21,625 --> 01:01:22,708
♪ Baby ♪
1515
01:01:23,916 --> 01:01:26,333
♪ Low interest loans will put a smile on ♪
1516
01:01:27,375 --> 01:01:28,875
♪ Jess Sheppard's got the right staff ♪
1517
01:01:28,958 --> 01:01:30,041
[retching]
1518
01:01:30,125 --> 01:01:30,958
♪ Baby ♪
1519
01:01:31,041 --> 01:01:32,291
[retches] [coughs]
1520
01:01:32,375 --> 01:01:35,208
♪ Jack Winstone is why we sing this song ♪
1521
01:01:36,708 --> 01:01:38,375
♪ For all your banking needs ♪
1522
01:01:38,458 --> 01:01:40,125
♪ We'll be there for you ♪
1523
01:01:40,208 --> 01:01:42,041
♪ She's Jess Sheppard ♪
1524
01:01:42,125 --> 01:01:43,041
[retches]
1525
01:01:43,125 --> 01:01:44,208
♪ She's so right ♪
1526
01:01:44,291 --> 01:01:45,166
[Winstone coughs]
1527
01:01:45,250 --> 01:01:48,958
♪ We all know I deserve
An office with a view ♪
1528
01:01:49,041 --> 01:01:51,708
♪ This girl's work ethic ♪
1529
01:01:52,291 --> 01:01:54,083
♪ Is out of sight ♪
1530
01:01:54,166 --> 01:01:55,625
♪ Oh, oh, oh ♪
1531
01:01:56,166 --> 01:01:57,500
♪ Oh, oh, oh ♪
1532
01:01:57,583 --> 01:01:58,583
Swish!
1533
01:01:58,666 --> 01:02:00,375
♪ Oh, oh, oh ♪
1534
01:02:00,791 --> 01:02:02,416
♪ The right staff ♪
1535
01:02:02,833 --> 01:02:04,833
One more time, Jess Sheppard!
1536
01:02:04,916 --> 01:02:05,791
[retches]
1537
01:02:06,416 --> 01:02:08,500
-[Winstone retching]
-[laughs]
1538
01:02:08,583 --> 01:02:11,625
Okay, that concludes our "shalent" show.
1539
01:02:11,708 --> 01:02:13,208
Tim clearly won, am I right?
1540
01:02:13,791 --> 01:02:15,541
-That's amazing.
-[Winstone retching]
1541
01:02:15,625 --> 01:02:16,833
But it better not be dangerous.
1542
01:02:16,916 --> 01:02:18,583
No, the second you want it to end,
1543
01:02:18,666 --> 01:02:20,958
you just say the magic phrase,
and he snaps out of it.
1544
01:02:21,541 --> 01:02:23,500
But what if someone
accidentally says it first?
1545
01:02:23,583 --> 01:02:24,583
No one's gonna say it.
1546
01:02:24,666 --> 01:02:27,333
It's "Hairy werewolf vagina
with yellow teeth and a tongue."
1547
01:02:27,416 --> 01:02:30,125
-Good God. That's what it is?
-Yeah.
1548
01:02:31,458 --> 01:02:34,958
♪ There she is, Miss A-Maryland ♪
1549
01:02:35,041 --> 01:02:36,458
-Oh, my God.
-[laughs]
1550
01:02:36,541 --> 01:02:38,291
Hey, how about our boy Tim Morris, huh?
1551
01:02:38,875 --> 01:02:40,041
I love this guy!
1552
01:02:40,125 --> 01:02:41,416
-[Tim laughs]
-[Winstone inhales]
1553
01:02:42,000 --> 01:02:43,333
[Winstone]
You make me feel safe.
1554
01:02:43,916 --> 01:02:45,000
I hope you never die.
1555
01:02:47,750 --> 01:02:49,375
But, as we all know,
1556
01:02:50,291 --> 01:02:51,625
behind every good man
1557
01:02:51,708 --> 01:02:53,208
is an even better woman.
1558
01:02:54,750 --> 01:02:56,500
You better take good care
of this little lady.
1559
01:02:56,583 --> 01:02:58,333
-[laughs]
-She's one of a kind, Tim.
1560
01:02:58,416 --> 01:02:59,625
-Aww.
-That's very true.
1561
01:02:59,708 --> 01:03:01,166
-Keep it coming.
-[both laugh]
1562
01:03:01,250 --> 01:03:02,333
[laughs]
1563
01:03:02,416 --> 01:03:03,583
Oh!
1564
01:03:04,166 --> 01:03:05,583
Wow. That's nice.
1565
01:03:05,666 --> 01:03:07,583
We'll catch you two later. See you.
1566
01:03:10,541 --> 01:03:11,708
He said my name right.
1567
01:03:11,791 --> 01:03:12,833
Mm-hmm.
1568
01:03:13,500 --> 01:03:14,375
Who are you?
1569
01:03:14,458 --> 01:03:15,875
I'm Doctor Missy,
1570
01:03:15,958 --> 01:03:19,791
and I'm prescribing you
some Hawaiian lobster nachos, Tim Morris.
1571
01:03:19,875 --> 01:03:21,333
-[Winstone] Love that guy!
-[laughs]
1572
01:03:22,291 --> 01:03:23,333
Jess Sheppard.
1573
01:03:23,416 --> 01:03:24,916
[Winstone retching]
1574
01:03:25,000 --> 01:03:25,833
Let's go.
1575
01:03:25,916 --> 01:03:27,000
♪ Come along, darling ♪
1576
01:03:27,083 --> 01:03:29,125
♪ Jump on your feet, don't lie down ♪
1577
01:03:29,208 --> 01:03:30,625
♪ 'Cause it's not easy... ♪
1578
01:03:31,208 --> 01:03:35,750
So, you're a hypnotist,
paramedic, therapist, a psychic,
1579
01:03:35,833 --> 01:03:37,666
-a sherpa, what else?
-[laughs]
1580
01:03:37,750 --> 01:03:40,041
I can do close-up magic. Hmm?
1581
01:03:40,125 --> 01:03:41,333
-Oh. They're right here.
-Okay.
1582
01:03:41,416 --> 01:03:42,625
-Ready? [laughs]
-Yeah.
1583
01:03:44,291 --> 01:03:45,625
-They're not there. [laughs]
-Oh!
1584
01:03:45,708 --> 01:03:46,708
-Gotcha!
-What the fuck?
1585
01:03:46,791 --> 01:03:48,833
-They're right here.
-Where do you learn this stuff?
1586
01:03:49,416 --> 01:03:50,458
[sighs]
1587
01:03:50,541 --> 01:03:54,125
Well, when my dad passed away,
I was... kind of lonely.
1588
01:03:54,666 --> 01:03:58,041
And, uh, somebody told me that classes
were a really good way to meet people,
1589
01:03:58,125 --> 01:04:02,083
so I signed up for a bunch of stuff
and kind of became a jack-of-all-trades.
1590
01:04:02,166 --> 01:04:03,083
-That's nice.
-Yeah.
1591
01:04:03,166 --> 01:04:05,166
Yeah, I kind of found out
the jack part on the plane.
1592
01:04:05,250 --> 01:04:07,541
Oh, yeah, yeah, that jacking.
Yeah. [laughs]
1593
01:04:07,625 --> 01:04:08,833
Yeah, no, that was self-taught.
1594
01:04:08,916 --> 01:04:10,083
-Oh, really?
-On a banana.
1595
01:04:10,166 --> 01:04:11,333
Made it peel every time.
1596
01:04:11,416 --> 01:04:12,500
-Oh!
-Yeah. [laughs]
1597
01:04:12,583 --> 01:04:14,833
With me, you should have practiced
on a string bean.
1598
01:04:14,916 --> 01:04:16,875
Yeah! [laughs]
1599
01:04:17,833 --> 01:04:18,833
[continues laughing]
1600
01:04:19,416 --> 01:04:20,958
-I was kidding.
-No, you're right!
1601
01:04:21,041 --> 01:04:22,125
-No, I was--
-[laughs]
1602
01:04:22,208 --> 01:04:24,083
That's exactly the size.
1603
01:04:24,166 --> 01:04:26,666
-The worst reaction you could've made.
-[laughing] Sorry.
1604
01:04:26,750 --> 01:04:29,583
-It's average for my height and weight.
-Yeah, okay. [laughs]
1605
01:04:29,666 --> 01:04:31,208
[both laugh]
1606
01:04:31,541 --> 01:04:33,208
-Yeah, yeah.
-[Missy] Yeah.
1607
01:04:33,833 --> 01:04:36,250
So, are you ready to tell me
why you don't drink?
1608
01:04:36,833 --> 01:04:38,125
I can tell you. I mean...
1609
01:04:38,750 --> 01:04:40,125
I'm a little crazy, too.
1610
01:04:40,208 --> 01:04:41,041
-Really?
-Yeah.
1611
01:04:41,125 --> 01:04:41,958
Okay.
1612
01:04:42,041 --> 01:04:44,083
I drink, I get drunk, and then I...
1613
01:04:44,708 --> 01:04:45,750
walk on my hands.
1614
01:04:45,833 --> 01:04:48,250
Hmm. Okay, well, that doesn't sound
too dangerous.
1615
01:04:48,333 --> 01:04:51,458
It does when you walk on your hands
off the roof of your frat house.
1616
01:04:51,541 --> 01:04:53,958
Okay, I feel like you're making shit up
right now. I'm not--
1617
01:04:54,041 --> 01:04:55,416
No, I-- Seriously, I fell 30 feet.
1618
01:04:55,500 --> 01:04:57,958
No, I'm talking about you
getting accepted into a frat.
1619
01:04:58,041 --> 01:04:59,041
-I don't--
-Oh, that. Yeah.
1620
01:04:59,125 --> 01:05:00,375
I don't believe it.
1621
01:05:00,458 --> 01:05:01,750
-That's a good burn.
-Yeah, yeah.
1622
01:05:01,833 --> 01:05:02,666
[cell phone chimes]
1623
01:05:02,750 --> 01:05:04,000
-[inhales]
-Hang on.
1624
01:05:05,708 --> 01:05:06,583
Who's that?
1625
01:05:07,250 --> 01:05:08,500
It's nobody.
1626
01:05:09,083 --> 01:05:10,708
Is it your grandma? Checking in on you?
1627
01:05:10,791 --> 01:05:12,583
Sending me some tasteful nudes.
1628
01:05:12,666 --> 01:05:14,291
[both laugh]
1629
01:05:14,375 --> 01:05:16,541
No, she's just making sure
I'm treating you right.
1630
01:05:16,625 --> 01:05:19,875
Hmm. You're gonna be
treating me right tonight.
1631
01:05:19,958 --> 01:05:21,791
So you better get your grandma
out of your mind.
1632
01:05:21,875 --> 01:05:23,666
-Uh-oh.
-[Missy] Uh-oh.
1633
01:05:23,750 --> 01:05:24,583
We gonna fuck.
1634
01:05:24,666 --> 01:05:25,875
[both laugh]
1635
01:05:25,958 --> 01:05:26,791
Okay.
1636
01:05:26,875 --> 01:05:29,041
♪ Dance the night away ♪
1637
01:05:29,125 --> 01:05:32,708
-♪ To this island reggae ♪
-♪ Come on, come on, come on, come on ♪
1638
01:05:32,791 --> 01:05:34,875
♪ And let's dance, dance, dance ♪
1639
01:05:34,958 --> 01:05:36,458
♪ Dance, dance ♪
1640
01:05:36,541 --> 01:05:39,000
I'm gonna put a hot tub
in the garage, I decided.
1641
01:05:40,916 --> 01:05:43,583
["Utu Bang Bang" playing]
1642
01:05:43,666 --> 01:05:45,083
[humming]
1643
01:05:47,500 --> 01:05:49,250
Mmm, yeah.
1644
01:05:50,458 --> 01:05:51,375
[grunts]
1645
01:05:55,500 --> 01:05:56,333
Okay.
1646
01:05:56,833 --> 01:05:58,125
-[knocking on door]
-Hmm!
1647
01:05:59,166 --> 01:06:00,000
Hmm.
1648
01:06:00,958 --> 01:06:01,791
Oh.
1649
01:06:01,875 --> 01:06:04,375
Hmm, oh! Hey, ex-lover.
1650
01:06:04,458 --> 01:06:05,791
[exhales] I'm sorry to bother you.
1651
01:06:05,875 --> 01:06:08,375
I was just, um, actually hoping
to have a quick word with Tim?
1652
01:06:08,458 --> 01:06:10,375
Uh-huh, yeah, he went to get some weed.
1653
01:06:10,458 --> 01:06:12,291
We're about to have a real fuck fest.
1654
01:06:12,375 --> 01:06:13,500
-Oh, God.
-Yeah.
1655
01:06:13,583 --> 01:06:16,458
We thought it'd be more fun to be stoned
while we eat each other.
1656
01:06:16,791 --> 01:06:20,416
Wow. Okay. Um, it's not a problem,
I'll just-- I'll talk to him another time.
1657
01:06:20,500 --> 01:06:22,208
No, no, no! He'll be back in a minute.
1658
01:06:22,291 --> 01:06:23,583
Come on in.
1659
01:06:24,041 --> 01:06:27,666
You know his old tricks. Maybe you can
give me a few pointers. [chuckles]
1660
01:06:28,750 --> 01:06:30,541
-Guess if it's just for a second.
-Yeah.
1661
01:06:30,625 --> 01:06:33,416
He's not some freak, right? Like,
I'm not gonna have to grease up his ass
1662
01:06:33,500 --> 01:06:35,333
and slide him around a hardwood floor,
am I?
1663
01:06:35,416 --> 01:06:36,583
-No.
-Okay.
1664
01:06:36,958 --> 01:06:38,750
-So, I don't have any actual bud.
-[sighs]
1665
01:06:38,833 --> 01:06:40,958
Because airport security
would've clipped me, dude.
1666
01:06:41,041 --> 01:06:44,333
So, I do have weed toothpaste.
1667
01:06:44,916 --> 01:06:45,833
Wait.
1668
01:06:45,916 --> 01:06:47,458
Weed deodorant.
1669
01:06:47,541 --> 01:06:48,666
Wait.
1670
01:06:48,916 --> 01:06:51,166
Weed chapstick. And this is the best, Tim.
1671
01:06:51,250 --> 01:06:53,541
-Weed hair-growth foam.
-[chuckles]
1672
01:06:53,625 --> 01:06:56,583
Dude, you put it on your hair.
Your hair grows as you get high as fuck.
1673
01:06:56,666 --> 01:06:58,250
[chuckles] You're so weird.
1674
01:06:58,333 --> 01:06:59,333
It works.
1675
01:06:59,958 --> 01:07:03,291
I put some on my pubes. I got the biggest
bush in the whole fucking island.
1676
01:07:03,375 --> 01:07:04,375
[chuckles]
1677
01:07:04,458 --> 01:07:06,333
-Komante's been crashing with me.
-Yeah.
1678
01:07:06,416 --> 01:07:07,583
And I'm going back with you.
1679
01:07:07,666 --> 01:07:09,958
-No, I said maybe, Komante. I said maybe.
-What?
1680
01:07:10,041 --> 01:07:11,458
-Staying with you.
-No. I said maybe.
1681
01:07:11,541 --> 01:07:13,041
-You didn't say maybe.
-I did say maybe.
1682
01:07:13,625 --> 01:07:14,708
Maybe what?
1683
01:07:14,791 --> 01:07:16,375
[sighs] Anyway, what's the deal?
1684
01:07:16,458 --> 01:07:18,958
Why are you not responding
to Miss Maryland? What are you doing?
1685
01:07:19,500 --> 01:07:21,500
I think I'm starting to like Missy.
1686
01:07:22,083 --> 01:07:22,916
What?
1687
01:07:23,000 --> 01:07:24,958
I know. I know. I-I don't know.
1688
01:07:25,041 --> 01:07:26,250
[Komante] Bang 'em both.
1689
01:07:26,833 --> 01:07:30,625
Hey, I got-- Here are some weed condoms.
Just use them. I'm not gonna use them.
1690
01:07:30,708 --> 01:07:33,166
-No, I'm good. I'll just...
-[Komante] Let me put them on you.
1691
01:07:33,250 --> 01:07:34,958
-No.
-[Komante] Let me see your dick.
1692
01:07:35,041 --> 01:07:36,250
No.
1693
01:07:36,833 --> 01:07:37,708
[Nate] Komante.
1694
01:07:38,166 --> 01:07:39,291
-Reapplying.
-[Nate] Oh, my--
1695
01:07:39,375 --> 01:07:41,666
-Read the fucking thing. It says re-apply.
-Oh, my God.
1696
01:07:41,750 --> 01:07:44,291
-You got me this fucking high. You did.
-[Nate] Komante, I--
1697
01:07:44,375 --> 01:07:46,208
He is, though. He does that!
1698
01:07:46,291 --> 01:07:47,916
-[laughs] I know!
-Did he do that with you?
1699
01:07:48,000 --> 01:07:49,916
-Every single night.
-That's what I was wondering.
1700
01:07:50,000 --> 01:07:52,208
I couldn't tell if it was new
or something-- Oh!
1701
01:07:52,291 --> 01:07:55,041
Perfect timing.
We were just talking about you. [chuckles]
1702
01:07:55,125 --> 01:07:57,625
At least now I know
what's been bothering you this whole trip.
1703
01:07:59,500 --> 01:08:00,833
How could you not be bothered
1704
01:08:00,916 --> 01:08:03,708
by a breakup with a babe like this?
I mean, seriously!
1705
01:08:03,791 --> 01:08:06,250
I see everything
you saw in this stunning woman.
1706
01:08:06,333 --> 01:08:10,000
-You have a very special lady over here.
-[purring]
1707
01:08:10,083 --> 01:08:11,083
-[laughs]
-[Missy giggles]
1708
01:08:11,166 --> 01:08:12,916
Join us. Come on.
1709
01:08:13,000 --> 01:08:13,958
Get in here!
1710
01:08:14,041 --> 01:08:15,458
[laughs] I don't know.
1711
01:08:15,541 --> 01:08:17,750
-[laughs] Okay.
-[Tim laughs]
1712
01:08:17,833 --> 01:08:19,875
Now, thanks to a little liquid courage...
1713
01:08:19,958 --> 01:08:22,666
-[Julia] Mmm.
-...our little Lady Lu here confided in me
1714
01:08:22,750 --> 01:08:26,625
that she still harbors
pretty strong feelings for you.
1715
01:08:26,708 --> 01:08:29,500
And I'm pretty sure
you have feelings for her, too.
1716
01:08:30,041 --> 01:08:32,166
Now, I'm no certified sex therapist,
1717
01:08:32,250 --> 01:08:34,000
at least not yet. Two classes left.
[laughs]
1718
01:08:34,083 --> 01:08:36,583
-[laughs]
-But from my experience,
1719
01:08:37,041 --> 01:08:40,000
I know the only way to see
if there's either a future
1720
01:08:40,083 --> 01:08:42,625
or to have absolute closure,
1721
01:08:42,708 --> 01:08:45,000
is to "ride the bus."
1722
01:08:46,833 --> 01:08:48,541
What's-- What's that, ride the bus?
1723
01:08:48,625 --> 01:08:50,416
B-U-S.
1724
01:08:50,833 --> 01:08:51,875
Breakup sex.
1725
01:08:51,958 --> 01:08:53,500
-Oh. [laughs]
-[Missy laughs] Yeah.
1726
01:08:53,583 --> 01:08:56,166
Come on, you can't tell me
you don't still have feelings for her.
1727
01:08:56,250 --> 01:08:57,541
Okay. You know what? I...
1728
01:08:58,666 --> 01:09:00,416
This is... I-I don't feel comfortable.
1729
01:09:00,500 --> 01:09:01,583
-This is weird.
-Bitch.
1730
01:09:01,666 --> 01:09:04,208
-Okay. Don't worry. It's fine.
-Missy, I'm not gonna have you...
1731
01:09:04,291 --> 01:09:07,416
wait outside the room while I have
some breakup sex with my ex.
1732
01:09:07,500 --> 01:09:10,125
I'm not going outside, you fucking moron.
1733
01:09:10,750 --> 01:09:12,125
I'm gonna fuck both of you!
1734
01:09:12,750 --> 01:09:14,083
It's about the three of us.
1735
01:09:15,166 --> 01:09:18,166
-[Tim] Oh.
-It's the only way for us
1736
01:09:18,250 --> 01:09:19,291
to move forward.
1737
01:09:20,458 --> 01:09:23,208
It's time to ride the bus, Tim.
We saved you the best seat.
1738
01:09:23,791 --> 01:09:24,666
On our faces.
1739
01:09:24,750 --> 01:09:26,458
-[laughs] Come on.
-Wha...
1740
01:09:26,541 --> 01:09:27,541
Wait, wait, wait, wait.
1741
01:09:27,625 --> 01:09:29,625
-[Tim laughs]
-Oh, did you get the weed?
1742
01:09:31,416 --> 01:09:32,250
Ish.
1743
01:09:38,250 --> 01:09:40,208
[blues cover
of "My Neck, My Back" playing]
1744
01:09:48,625 --> 01:09:51,541
♪ All you ladies
Pop your pussy like this ♪
1745
01:09:51,625 --> 01:09:54,000
♪ Shake your body
Don't stop, don't miss ♪
1746
01:09:54,083 --> 01:09:56,958
♪ All you ladies
Pop your pussy like this ♪
1747
01:09:57,041 --> 01:09:59,041
♪ Shake your body
Don't stop, don't miss ♪
1748
01:09:59,125 --> 01:10:00,750
♪ Just do it ♪
1749
01:10:00,833 --> 01:10:02,083
♪ Do it ♪
1750
01:10:02,166 --> 01:10:04,916
♪ Do it, do it, do it now ♪
1751
01:10:05,208 --> 01:10:06,125
♪ Right now ♪
1752
01:10:06,208 --> 01:10:07,458
♪ Lick it good ♪
1753
01:10:07,541 --> 01:10:09,791
♪ Suck this pussy just like you should ♪
1754
01:10:09,875 --> 01:10:12,125
♪ My neck, my back ♪
1755
01:10:12,208 --> 01:10:15,125
♪ Lick my pussy and my crack ♪
1756
01:10:15,208 --> 01:10:17,458
♪ My neck, my back ♪
1757
01:10:17,541 --> 01:10:20,541
♪ Lick my pussy and my crack ♪
1758
01:10:20,791 --> 01:10:23,666
♪ First you gotta put your neck into it ♪
1759
01:10:23,750 --> 01:10:26,000
♪ Don't stop, just do it, do it... ♪
1760
01:10:26,083 --> 01:10:26,958
[grunts]
1761
01:10:27,708 --> 01:10:28,583
Oh!
1762
01:10:29,041 --> 01:10:30,708
♪ From the crack up to the front ♪
1763
01:10:30,791 --> 01:10:34,333
♪ Then you suck it all
Till I shake and cum ♪
1764
01:10:34,416 --> 01:10:36,583
♪ Make sure I keep busting nuts... ♪
1765
01:10:36,666 --> 01:10:37,833
[grunts]
1766
01:10:37,916 --> 01:10:39,416
♪ All over your face and stuff ♪
1767
01:10:39,500 --> 01:10:41,500
♪ Got me making so much love ♪
1768
01:10:41,583 --> 01:10:43,250
♪ So lick it now ♪
1769
01:10:43,333 --> 01:10:44,458
♪ Lick it good... ♪
1770
01:10:44,541 --> 01:10:45,708
Oh! [grunts]
1771
01:10:45,791 --> 01:10:47,416
♪ Suck this pussy just like you should ♪
1772
01:10:47,500 --> 01:10:49,291
♪ Right now, lick it good ♪
1773
01:10:49,875 --> 01:10:52,000
♪ Suck this pussy just like you should ♪
1774
01:10:52,083 --> 01:10:54,375
♪ My neck, my back ♪
1775
01:10:54,458 --> 01:10:57,333
♪ Lick my pussy and my crack ♪
1776
01:10:57,416 --> 01:10:59,500
♪ My neck, my back ♪
1777
01:10:59,583 --> 01:11:03,125
♪ Lick my pussy and my crack ♪
1778
01:11:03,875 --> 01:11:04,750
[song ends]
1779
01:11:08,083 --> 01:11:08,916
[Tim laughs]
1780
01:11:09,000 --> 01:11:11,458
I still can't believe
what happened last night.
1781
01:11:11,541 --> 01:11:13,583
I don't think I really knew
what I was doing.
1782
01:11:13,666 --> 01:11:15,958
Yeah, I know. At one point,
you were dry humping the outlet.
1783
01:11:16,041 --> 01:11:17,291
-[laughs] It was dark!
-[laughs]
1784
01:11:17,375 --> 01:11:18,875
I didn't know what was happening!
1785
01:11:18,958 --> 01:11:20,291
I'm excited about this next party.
1786
01:11:20,375 --> 01:11:22,750
I know. This is the main event.
It'll be fun.
1787
01:11:23,291 --> 01:11:25,291
[Missy] I think you might be
a bit over-dressed.
1788
01:11:25,375 --> 01:11:28,541
I know people are kind of on the fence,
but the merger's gonna be huge, dude.
1789
01:11:28,625 --> 01:11:30,625
It's gonna help all of us.
We're gonna crush it.
1790
01:11:30,708 --> 01:11:32,416
It's really exciting
to see how it plays out.
1791
01:11:32,500 --> 01:11:33,333
[horn sounds]
1792
01:11:33,416 --> 01:11:34,333
What the fu--?
1793
01:11:36,250 --> 01:11:37,291
-Hmm.
-Hmm.
1794
01:11:37,916 --> 01:11:41,041
Rich, what the hell's going on here?
It's supposed to be a pig roast.
1795
01:11:41,125 --> 01:11:43,541
No, Winstone changed the whole party
last minute.
1796
01:11:43,625 --> 01:11:45,125
He said he wants everyone to get back
1797
01:11:45,208 --> 01:11:48,041
to a time before society
told you what you can and can't do.
1798
01:11:48,125 --> 01:11:50,250
That's weird. Why are you
staring at this tree, though?
1799
01:11:50,333 --> 01:11:52,583
Fucking Winstone put me in a time-out.
1800
01:11:53,166 --> 01:11:55,041
[exhales] I still got ten minutes left.
1801
01:11:55,125 --> 01:11:56,000
Carry on.
1802
01:11:56,833 --> 01:11:57,916
So, you had a part in this.
1803
01:11:58,000 --> 01:12:00,416
Winstone was so concerned
with what everyone thought about him,
1804
01:12:00,500 --> 01:12:02,333
and he wanted to think more freely.
1805
01:12:02,416 --> 01:12:06,416
So while he was hypnotized, I told him
to throw away the restraints of adulthood.
1806
01:12:06,500 --> 01:12:08,291
-Guess he ran with it.
-Mr. Morris?
1807
01:12:08,375 --> 01:12:11,208
Mr. Winstone's conducting interviews
in the ocean.
1808
01:12:11,291 --> 01:12:12,625
He would like for you to be next,
1809
01:12:12,708 --> 01:12:15,458
or he'll tell everyone
you still sleep with a nightlight.
1810
01:12:17,083 --> 01:12:18,208
Thank you, giraffe.
1811
01:12:18,291 --> 01:12:19,208
You're welcome.
1812
01:12:19,833 --> 01:12:22,416
I think we need to look
into selling asset-backed securities.
1813
01:12:22,500 --> 01:12:23,458
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
1814
01:12:23,541 --> 01:12:25,166
Uh, tell me underwater.
1815
01:12:25,250 --> 01:12:26,125
I'm sorry?
1816
01:12:26,208 --> 01:12:28,333
Tell me underwater. We're mermaids.
1817
01:12:28,416 --> 01:12:30,000
But you won't be able to understand me.
1818
01:12:30,083 --> 01:12:31,333
Of course I will.
1819
01:12:31,666 --> 01:12:32,791
We're mermaids.
1820
01:12:35,791 --> 01:12:36,958
[exhales] What?
1821
01:12:39,166 --> 01:12:41,583
[garbled dialogue]
1822
01:12:55,416 --> 01:12:56,291
So?
1823
01:12:57,250 --> 01:12:58,208
I didn't like it,
1824
01:12:58,750 --> 01:13:00,041
but thanks for coming by.
1825
01:13:00,958 --> 01:13:01,791
[sighs]
1826
01:13:03,125 --> 01:13:03,958
[grunts]
1827
01:13:04,583 --> 01:13:06,666
-How'd it go?
-Crushed it.
1828
01:13:06,750 --> 01:13:07,666
Are you sure?
1829
01:13:08,208 --> 01:13:09,333
The fish are whispering.
1830
01:13:09,416 --> 01:13:10,250
Oh!
1831
01:13:10,333 --> 01:13:11,208
[groans]
1832
01:13:11,291 --> 01:13:12,750
Shit. Sorry.
1833
01:13:13,333 --> 01:13:14,708
This fucking sucks.
1834
01:13:14,791 --> 01:13:16,625
Yeah, it's an abuse of power.
1835
01:13:16,708 --> 01:13:18,083
Come on, Tim!
1836
01:13:18,166 --> 01:13:19,666
-Gosh.
-[Winstone] Attaboy!
1837
01:13:20,166 --> 01:13:21,041
Good job!
1838
01:13:21,125 --> 01:13:22,125
Come on out here!
1839
01:13:22,208 --> 01:13:23,125
[Tim grunts]
1840
01:13:23,208 --> 01:13:24,875
That's it! Use that flipper!
1841
01:13:24,958 --> 01:13:26,500
-[Tim grunting]
-[laughs]
1842
01:13:26,583 --> 01:13:28,375
You're a beautiful mermaid, Morris.
1843
01:13:28,458 --> 01:13:30,000
-[laughs]
-[Tim] Coming!
1844
01:13:30,708 --> 01:13:33,375
[Winstone]
Swim free, my boy, swim free!
1845
01:13:33,958 --> 01:13:35,083
-Yes!
-[gasps]
1846
01:13:35,166 --> 01:13:38,166
Way to let out your inner child!
I love it!
1847
01:13:38,250 --> 01:13:39,666
[laughs]
1848
01:13:39,750 --> 01:13:41,083
Now listen, Tim,
1849
01:13:41,166 --> 01:13:44,208
I am well aware
that you want to be president of sales,
1850
01:13:44,583 --> 01:13:48,375
but I have to be honest with you,
Jess' numbers are much better than yours.
1851
01:13:48,458 --> 01:13:49,916
She's an excellent motivator,
1852
01:13:50,708 --> 01:13:53,625
and she's a pretty damn good
underwater talker.
1853
01:13:54,458 --> 01:13:57,541
But I get the feeling
that you're the type of guy
1854
01:13:57,625 --> 01:13:59,791
that would bring me soup
when I'm sick, you know?
1855
01:14:00,666 --> 01:14:01,666
Yes.
1856
01:14:01,750 --> 01:14:02,791
Sure, that's...
1857
01:14:02,875 --> 01:14:03,708
Of course.
1858
01:14:03,791 --> 01:14:06,333
Tell me stories about
how you met Grandpa after World War II.
1859
01:14:06,416 --> 01:14:07,583
[laughs] Yeah.
1860
01:14:07,666 --> 01:14:10,791
Let me eat as much chocolate as I wanted,
no matter what Mom and Dad said.
1861
01:14:11,291 --> 01:14:12,125
Y-Yeah.
1862
01:14:12,208 --> 01:14:14,458
And that's why I've decided
to go with my gut.
1863
01:14:15,333 --> 01:14:16,166
You up for it?
1864
01:14:16,250 --> 01:14:18,000
Me? Yeah! Oh, my God!
1865
01:14:18,083 --> 01:14:19,625
Come on. Give your grandson a hug!
1866
01:14:19,708 --> 01:14:21,041
-[laughs]
-Okay.
1867
01:14:21,125 --> 01:14:22,000
Ah!
1868
01:14:22,083 --> 01:14:23,458
[both laughing]
1869
01:14:26,083 --> 01:14:27,791
[both continue laughing]
1870
01:14:27,875 --> 01:14:30,583
[children's music plays in the background]
1871
01:14:34,041 --> 01:14:36,333
I don't know what witchcraft
you whipped up with Winstone,
1872
01:14:36,416 --> 01:14:38,166
but obviously, it worked.
1873
01:14:38,250 --> 01:14:39,833
Oh, good. I'm glad you noticed.
1874
01:14:39,916 --> 01:14:42,291
I'm sorry. I can't do anything
for your husband's eye, though.
1875
01:14:42,875 --> 01:14:44,250
[Jess chuckles] Yeah.
1876
01:14:44,333 --> 01:14:46,000
You're not much of a psychic, are you?
1877
01:14:47,000 --> 01:14:49,250
You don't even know
you're not supposed to be here.
1878
01:14:58,208 --> 01:15:00,208
I mean, I know he's, like,
in a trance or whatever,
1879
01:15:00,291 --> 01:15:02,416
but he felt pretty real about it.
1880
01:15:02,500 --> 01:15:04,333
Either way,
we're gonna definitely celebrate.
1881
01:15:05,041 --> 01:15:08,583
So, let me get the sand
out of places it shouldn't be,
1882
01:15:08,666 --> 01:15:10,833
and then we're going to dinner. All right?
1883
01:15:10,916 --> 01:15:13,208
And you know what,
why don't you bring your friend Hellstar?
1884
01:15:13,291 --> 01:15:14,541
She might be hungry.
1885
01:15:14,625 --> 01:15:16,541
[in evil voice] Tell her
we're gonna have dinner,
1886
01:15:16,625 --> 01:15:18,166
entree, and a dessert.
1887
01:15:18,250 --> 01:15:20,208
Because I'm Claudio of the Darkness.
1888
01:15:20,291 --> 01:15:22,375
[in normal voice] That's horrible.
I don't know how to do it.
1889
01:15:22,458 --> 01:15:25,000
You do it better. You have to teach me,
okay? It hurts my throat.
1890
01:15:28,250 --> 01:15:29,791
[shower running]
1891
01:15:31,083 --> 01:15:33,833
["Please" playing]
1892
01:15:40,750 --> 01:15:43,333
♪ I see you when I see you ♪
1893
01:15:45,458 --> 01:15:47,333
♪ It hurts to never know ♪
1894
01:15:50,500 --> 01:15:53,416
♪ 'Cause maybe you'll come running... ♪
1895
01:15:56,250 --> 01:15:57,125
Missy.
1896
01:15:57,958 --> 01:16:00,833
After dinner, do you want to see
a local band I heard about?
1897
01:16:00,916 --> 01:16:02,083
That might be fun.
1898
01:16:03,833 --> 01:16:04,708
What do you think?
1899
01:16:05,583 --> 01:16:06,416
Missy?
1900
01:16:15,375 --> 01:16:16,541
[sighs]
1901
01:16:17,250 --> 01:16:18,208
Shit.
1902
01:16:19,916 --> 01:16:20,750
Missy?
1903
01:16:22,125 --> 01:16:22,958
Missy.
1904
01:16:24,791 --> 01:16:25,625
Missy.
1905
01:16:27,833 --> 01:16:28,666
I made it!
1906
01:16:28,750 --> 01:16:30,500
Surprise! [squeals]
1907
01:16:31,750 --> 01:16:33,875
[mouthing] Fuck you!
1908
01:16:34,500 --> 01:16:35,500
[Melissa] Oh!
1909
01:16:37,916 --> 01:16:41,333
Oh, my God! It's so good to see you.
That flight took forever.
1910
01:16:41,416 --> 01:16:44,416
I'm so happy your friend Jess called me
yesterday and told me to come here.
1911
01:16:44,500 --> 01:16:46,416
It's gorgeous!
1912
01:16:47,000 --> 01:16:48,958
Want to take a starving girl to lunch?
1913
01:16:51,041 --> 01:16:53,875
That's so great.
I mean, the new president of C of A.
1914
01:16:53,958 --> 01:16:57,583
You must be over the moon.
Did they give you a big, new office?
1915
01:16:57,666 --> 01:17:00,000
Um, I... I don't know yet.
1916
01:17:00,083 --> 01:17:03,541
-Well, either way, very exciting.
-[waiter] All right, here we go.
1917
01:17:03,625 --> 01:17:06,125
A virgin piña colada
and six shots of whiskey.
1918
01:17:06,208 --> 01:17:07,083
Oh.
1919
01:17:07,166 --> 01:17:08,416
I thought you didn't drink.
1920
01:17:08,500 --> 01:17:10,583
-Oh, these aren't for me. [laughs]
-Oh.
1921
01:17:11,208 --> 01:17:12,250
Hmm.
1922
01:17:12,333 --> 01:17:13,208
What were you saying?
1923
01:17:13,916 --> 01:17:16,333
-I just, uh...
-[groans]
1924
01:17:18,250 --> 01:17:19,083
Wow.
1925
01:17:19,666 --> 01:17:22,750
-I really don't want this one.
-Yeah. I see that.
1926
01:17:23,416 --> 01:17:24,291
[shot glasses clatter]
1927
01:17:24,375 --> 01:17:25,541
Mmm.
1928
01:17:27,916 --> 01:17:28,875
Wow.
1929
01:17:29,458 --> 01:17:30,291
Are you okay?
1930
01:17:32,541 --> 01:17:34,291
Hey, do you want to see my hidden talent?
1931
01:17:35,333 --> 01:17:37,291
Okay. Yeah. Yeah, sure.
1932
01:17:37,375 --> 01:17:39,166
I need a breadstick for this. I don't.
1933
01:17:39,250 --> 01:17:40,708
All right, here we go.
1934
01:17:41,416 --> 01:17:44,750
[groans]
1935
01:17:45,291 --> 01:17:46,125
Yeah.
1936
01:17:46,208 --> 01:17:47,041
[grunts]
1937
01:17:47,291 --> 01:17:48,416
[laughs]
1938
01:17:48,875 --> 01:17:49,708
-Wow.
-[Tim grunts]
1939
01:17:50,291 --> 01:17:51,583
[grunting]
1940
01:17:51,666 --> 01:17:53,250
-[panting]
-Look at you.
1941
01:17:53,791 --> 01:17:56,333
-Walking away on your hands.
-[Tim] I'm doing it! Look!
1942
01:17:56,416 --> 01:17:57,708
-Watch the corners.
-[Tim] Oh!
1943
01:17:57,791 --> 01:17:59,416
[grunts]
[screams]
1944
01:17:59,500 --> 01:18:00,333
Oh!
1945
01:18:00,416 --> 01:18:01,916
[gasps] Tim!
1946
01:18:02,000 --> 01:18:02,833
Aah!
1947
01:18:03,625 --> 01:18:04,458
[groans]
1948
01:18:05,083 --> 01:18:05,916
Aah!
1949
01:18:06,541 --> 01:18:07,375
Aah.
1950
01:18:08,000 --> 01:18:08,916
[exhales]
1951
01:18:09,000 --> 01:18:10,291
["Elodie" playing]
1952
01:18:10,375 --> 01:18:12,958
♪ Elodie, it's been a while ♪
1953
01:18:14,833 --> 01:18:16,833
♪ Giving up on love ♪
1954
01:18:16,916 --> 01:18:18,708
♪ That's not my style ♪
1955
01:18:20,291 --> 01:18:22,333
♪ And with a heavy heart ♪
1956
01:18:22,416 --> 01:18:24,416
♪ I come back to say ♪
1957
01:18:26,833 --> 01:18:30,208
♪ I'm another man, I'm another one... ♪
1958
01:18:31,791 --> 01:18:33,791
[Melissa] Tim! Tim!
1959
01:18:33,875 --> 01:18:35,666
Tim! Are you okay?
1960
01:18:36,125 --> 01:18:36,958
Hey. Oh, it's you.
1961
01:18:37,625 --> 01:18:38,458
Hi.
1962
01:18:39,833 --> 01:18:42,625
No. You know what?
I'm not okay. Nothing's okay.
1963
01:18:42,708 --> 01:18:44,166
-Did I do something wrong?
-[chuckles]
1964
01:18:44,750 --> 01:18:45,958
No. [inhales]
1965
01:18:46,041 --> 01:18:46,875
You're perfect.
1966
01:18:46,958 --> 01:18:50,750
We read the same books.
We laugh at the same jokes.
1967
01:18:51,416 --> 01:18:52,916
We're both tens.
1968
01:18:53,000 --> 01:18:54,208
You're fucking hot.
1969
01:18:54,291 --> 01:18:56,791
But I met somebody else,
1970
01:18:56,875 --> 01:18:59,250
and she's loud,
and she's borderline psychotic.
1971
01:18:59,333 --> 01:19:02,458
She carries a knife.
But I think I'm falling in love with her.
1972
01:19:02,916 --> 01:19:04,333
I don't know, but I'm sorry.
1973
01:19:04,416 --> 01:19:06,083
Tim, it's all good.
1974
01:19:06,500 --> 01:19:08,458
I mean, we made out in a janitor's closet.
1975
01:19:08,541 --> 01:19:09,833
I think I'll be okay.
1976
01:19:09,916 --> 01:19:11,250
So where is this girl?
1977
01:19:11,333 --> 01:19:13,416
Oh, she... she took off. She...
1978
01:19:14,041 --> 01:19:15,833
She flew off. I broke her heart!
1979
01:19:15,916 --> 01:19:19,083
What? She flew back?
I was supposed to be on her flight!
1980
01:19:19,166 --> 01:19:21,416
I gotta fucking move here now? God!
1981
01:19:23,000 --> 01:19:25,500
Hey, can you pop that ankle
back into place?
1982
01:19:27,541 --> 01:19:29,000
I don't know how to do that.
1983
01:19:30,041 --> 01:19:30,916
Exactly.
1984
01:19:31,416 --> 01:19:33,208
["This Life" playing]
1985
01:19:36,916 --> 01:19:41,458
♪ Baby, I know pain
Is as natural as the rain... ♪
1986
01:19:41,541 --> 01:19:42,375
[phone chimes]
1987
01:19:43,958 --> 01:19:45,166
[phone chimes]
1988
01:19:48,208 --> 01:19:52,625
♪ Baby, I know love
Isn't what I thought it was... ♪
1989
01:19:52,708 --> 01:19:53,541
[phone chimes]
1990
01:19:53,625 --> 01:19:59,833
♪ 'Cause I've never known
A love like this before ya ♪
1991
01:20:05,041 --> 01:20:07,791
♪ Baby, I know dreams tend to crumble... ♪
1992
01:20:07,875 --> 01:20:08,750
[phone chimes]
1993
01:20:10,000 --> 01:20:14,333
♪ I just thought our dream would last
A little bit longer... ♪
1994
01:20:14,416 --> 01:20:15,291
[phone chimes]
1995
01:20:17,416 --> 01:20:21,041
[Missy on video] Live your life.
You need to quit your job, so... Okay!
1996
01:20:21,125 --> 01:20:23,833
You need to quit. Start over. Start fresh.
1997
01:20:23,916 --> 01:20:26,333
You're all little sheep. Live your life!
1998
01:20:28,416 --> 01:20:30,541
Mr. Winstone? Tim Morris is here.
1999
01:20:32,625 --> 01:20:33,958
I love that guy.
2000
01:20:36,250 --> 01:20:39,000
Well, Tim, excited about the new gig?
2001
01:20:39,083 --> 01:20:40,666
You've really been kicking ass.
2002
01:20:40,750 --> 01:20:43,291
Hairy werewolf vagina
with yellow teeth and a tongue.
2003
01:20:46,208 --> 01:20:48,500
Wait a second. You're not my Nana!
2004
01:20:49,041 --> 01:20:50,666
-Yeah.
-Get the fuck out of here.
2005
01:20:50,750 --> 01:20:52,750
I will pack up my office now.
2006
01:20:52,833 --> 01:20:54,208
♪ This life ♪
2007
01:20:57,958 --> 01:20:59,875
♪ And all its suffering ♪
2008
01:20:59,958 --> 01:21:01,000
[song ends]
2009
01:21:01,083 --> 01:21:02,625
["Tradition" playing in the background]
2010
01:21:09,833 --> 01:21:10,708
{\an8}[phone chimes]
2011
01:21:25,833 --> 01:21:26,791
Hey, what's up?
2012
01:21:27,625 --> 01:21:28,958
You're Vanilla Ice.
2013
01:21:29,041 --> 01:21:30,750
Shut the fuck up.
2014
01:21:30,833 --> 01:21:32,916
-Care to join me?
-More than anything in the world!
2015
01:21:33,000 --> 01:21:34,666
Okay. Two shots of tequila.
2016
01:21:34,750 --> 01:21:36,166
-We're gonna fucking party.
-Wow.
2017
01:21:36,250 --> 01:21:38,375
-You put some ice-ice in there?
-You put-- Yeah!
2018
01:21:38,458 --> 01:21:39,666
[both laugh]
2019
01:21:40,250 --> 01:21:42,583
Put ice-ice in it, baby! Yeah!
2020
01:21:42,666 --> 01:21:44,458
Oh, my God.
2021
01:21:44,541 --> 01:21:46,083
Wow, are we gonna fuck tonight?
2022
01:21:46,166 --> 01:21:47,208
[Vanilla Ice laughs]
2023
01:21:47,291 --> 01:21:49,000
Why are you even on a dating app?
2024
01:21:49,625 --> 01:21:50,625
Playa's gotta play.
2025
01:21:50,708 --> 01:21:51,791
[both laugh]
2026
01:21:51,875 --> 01:21:53,041
"Playa's gotta--"
2027
01:21:53,125 --> 01:21:54,666
Hey, Missy.
2028
01:21:54,750 --> 01:21:56,250
What the fuck are you doing here?
2029
01:21:56,333 --> 01:21:58,416
That was me texting you. I was the one.
2030
01:21:58,500 --> 01:22:00,750
No. It was Vanilla Ice texting me.
2031
01:22:00,833 --> 01:22:03,333
No. I was playing your joke on you.
2032
01:22:03,416 --> 01:22:05,291
Like we did when I met you.
2033
01:22:05,375 --> 01:22:06,333
No.
2034
01:22:06,583 --> 01:22:08,958
The text said black hat
and black sweatshirt,
2035
01:22:09,041 --> 01:22:10,041
not shameless wig.
2036
01:22:10,125 --> 01:22:10,958
Bye.
2037
01:22:11,583 --> 01:22:13,041
[stammers] It wasn't me.
2038
01:22:13,625 --> 01:22:15,333
It was you, Rob.
2039
01:22:15,416 --> 01:22:18,791
I wish it was,
but good luck with shrimp-stick here.
2040
01:22:20,291 --> 01:22:21,583
You're my date?
2041
01:22:22,166 --> 01:22:23,000
Yeah.
2042
01:22:24,166 --> 01:22:25,125
Fuck.
2043
01:22:25,875 --> 01:22:27,291
God, he was so hot.
2044
01:22:27,375 --> 01:22:28,750
And I'm not talking to you.
2045
01:22:28,833 --> 01:22:30,458
Wait, I just want to tell you that...
2046
01:22:31,916 --> 01:22:32,791
I miss you,
2047
01:22:32,875 --> 01:22:35,500
and-- and I'm really sorry
about what happened.
2048
01:22:35,583 --> 01:22:37,708
-Okay.
-Look, no. Let me just...
2049
01:22:38,833 --> 01:22:40,666
Can't I get a second chance?
2050
01:22:41,458 --> 01:22:42,458
I don't know, Tim.
2051
01:22:44,375 --> 01:22:47,583
Look, I don't want to be the guy
that's always serious.
2052
01:22:47,666 --> 01:22:49,250
Or letting my boss' approval
2053
01:22:49,333 --> 01:22:53,250
just overshadow everything
that should mean something in my life.
2054
01:22:53,333 --> 01:22:55,041
And that's why I quit my job today.
2055
01:22:55,125 --> 01:22:56,916
I mean, fuck, I want to travel.
2056
01:22:57,000 --> 01:23:01,166
I want to go out and... be free.
2057
01:23:01,708 --> 01:23:02,833
I want to be fun.
2058
01:23:02,916 --> 01:23:05,333
I want to be unapologetic about who I am.
2059
01:23:05,416 --> 01:23:08,291
I want to have strong opinions
about things I know nothing about.
2060
01:23:08,375 --> 01:23:10,833
I want to carry a machete. I want to...
2061
01:23:11,416 --> 01:23:12,375
[exhales]
2062
01:23:12,458 --> 01:23:13,583
I want to be like you.
2063
01:23:15,666 --> 01:23:18,458
I never meant for any of this to happen,
but I'm glad it did.
2064
01:23:19,625 --> 01:23:21,500
It's only been a couple weeks, but...
2065
01:23:22,666 --> 01:23:24,583
I don't like my life as much without you.
2066
01:23:30,916 --> 01:23:33,125
Would you accept this rose?
2067
01:23:36,166 --> 01:23:39,041
Okay, but later tonight,
I'm fuckfacing you with Vanilla.
2068
01:23:40,041 --> 01:23:42,125
Why don't we have the real thing join us?
2069
01:23:42,416 --> 01:23:44,083
Not a chance, shrimp-dick.
2070
01:23:45,708 --> 01:23:48,000
-Did he say no? Embarrassing.
-[laughs]
2071
01:23:53,666 --> 01:23:55,750
[man] I got a chai smoothie for J.J.
2072
01:23:57,333 --> 01:23:59,750
["I Can Feel It" playing]
2073
01:24:07,625 --> 01:24:09,791
♪ There's something in the air
I sense it ♪
2074
01:24:09,875 --> 01:24:12,625
♪ Like the wind, it changed directions ♪
2075
01:24:16,500 --> 01:24:18,750
♪ I can hear a storm, it's rumbling ♪
2076
01:24:18,833 --> 01:24:21,333
♪ Sounds like a freight train coming ♪
2077
01:24:24,541 --> 01:24:27,166
♪ Oh, it's a current, electric
A fire, magnetic ♪
2078
01:24:27,250 --> 01:24:29,208
♪ The city streets at night ♪
2079
01:24:29,291 --> 01:24:31,666
♪ An eruption, explosion
An earthquake, commotion ♪
2080
01:24:31,750 --> 01:24:33,416
♪ A gamma ray burst of light ♪
2081
01:24:34,291 --> 01:24:35,250
♪ I can feel it ♪
2082
01:24:37,291 --> 01:24:40,875
♪ Oh, it's like the stars aligned ♪
2083
01:24:40,958 --> 01:24:41,916
♪ I can feel it ♪
2084
01:24:46,000 --> 01:24:49,750
♪ Tonight's the night I come alive ♪
2085
01:24:49,833 --> 01:24:50,916
♪ I can feel it ♪
2086
01:24:53,166 --> 01:24:55,291
♪ It's all coming into my view ♪
2087
01:24:55,375 --> 01:24:57,916
♪ My eyes see for miles, I'm on the move ♪
2088
01:25:01,958 --> 01:25:04,208
♪ Look now, the water's raging ♪
2089
01:25:04,291 --> 01:25:06,541
♪ It feels like the tides are changing ♪
2090
01:25:09,750 --> 01:25:10,875
♪ Can you feel it? ♪
2091
01:25:12,791 --> 01:25:16,416
♪ Oh, it's like the stars aligned ♪
2092
01:25:16,500 --> 01:25:17,541
♪ I can feel it ♪
2093
01:25:21,500 --> 01:25:24,916
♪ Tonight's the night I come alive ♪
2094
01:25:25,000 --> 01:25:25,833
♪ I can feel it ♪
2095
01:25:25,916 --> 01:25:28,416
We are on the right track
to Portland, right, Komante?
2096
01:25:28,500 --> 01:25:30,458
Oh, yeah, this is definitely--
This is the route.
2097
01:25:30,541 --> 01:25:32,375
I've taken it before... I think.
2098
01:25:32,875 --> 01:25:35,791
[Cal Sr.] Well, when we left,
the GPS said we'd be there in 12 days.
2099
01:25:35,875 --> 01:25:37,875
[Komante]
Twelve days, weeks, it's all pretty good.
2100
01:25:37,958 --> 01:25:40,541
We'll be there in no time,
just right up here on the coast.
2101
01:25:40,625 --> 01:25:43,125
-[Cal Sr.] I don't see any coast.
-[Komante] What?
2102
01:25:43,208 --> 01:25:45,250
[Cal Sr.]
I don't see any... I don't see the coast.
2103
01:25:45,333 --> 01:25:48,166
[Komante] But when you see the coast,
you just make a right on the coast.
2104
01:25:48,250 --> 01:25:51,250
[Cal Sr.] I gotta tell you, I'm starting
to lose a little confidence here.
2105
01:25:51,333 --> 01:25:54,041
[Komante] Don't do that.
Maybe if you're a little more confident,
2106
01:25:54,125 --> 01:25:55,541
you'd have a little more hair.
2107
01:25:55,625 --> 01:25:57,083
I got this foam, and it really works.
2108
01:25:57,166 --> 01:25:59,250
I'm surprised you haven't noticed
my overflowing pubes.
2109
01:25:59,333 --> 01:26:01,166
-[Cal Sr.] Is that what that is?
-[Komante] Yes.
2110
01:26:01,250 --> 01:26:02,916
[Cal Sr.]
I thought you were wearing a belt.
2111
01:26:03,000 --> 01:26:06,125
[Komante] It ain't no belt. Try to pull
on it. Go ahead. It's as good as a belt.
2112
01:26:06,208 --> 01:26:08,916
[Cal Sr.] No, it's okay.
Let's just keep paddling.
2113
01:26:09,000 --> 01:26:11,208
[Komante] When the sun goes down,
you tug all you want.
2114
01:26:11,291 --> 01:26:12,958
[upbeat instrumental music playing]
2115
01:28:08,208 --> 01:28:10,041
[instrumental music plays]
2116
01:29:18,833 --> 01:29:19,875
[music ends]