WEBVTT FILE
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Downloaded from
YTS.MX
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Official YIFY movies site:
YTS.MX
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Terrific.
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["Never Ever" playing]
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[cell phone chimes]
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[cell phone chimes]
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[cell phone chimes]
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♪ Soft velvet and candlelight ♪
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♪ Little fears that you keep inside... ♪
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Oh, my...
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[exhales]
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Excuse me. Hi.
13
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Whoa!
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Wow. I-I didn't realize...
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I'm sorry. Tim. Nice to see you.
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Uh, I'm sorry. I'm gonna have
to steal her away now.
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You look great.
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And good news,
our table's ready now, so we can...
19
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What the hell do you think you're doing,
bro? She's with me.
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Sir, I appreciate you keeping her company,
but she's actually not with you.
21
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She's with me.
[chuckles]
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Believe me. You don't want
to make me cause a scene.
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[chuckles softly]
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[inhales]
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You're gonna cause a scene?
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I might...
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summon one of the managers. Sure.
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-[inhales deeply]
-No.
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I don't know what you been smoking,
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but you better back off my wife,
or I'm gonna punch a hole in your face.
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-Your--?
-[woman] Timothy?
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Is that you?
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Uh-oh. My bad.
I was at the other side of the bar.
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Ooh! I'm actually his date.
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-[chuckles]
-Melissa?
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Everybody calls me Missy.
37
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Sorry about the mix-up.
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Just a little blind-date blunder.
[chuckles]
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But what would you two know
about making a mistake, right?
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Okay. Let's go.
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[laughs]
I got you so good!
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Wait. Wait. You did that on purpose? Why?
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Best blind-date ice-breaker ever!
44
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Ice-breaker? The guy
almost broke every bone in my body.
45
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Yeah, it worked, didn't it?
We're loose. We're laughing.
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We're having fun.
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Oh, my God! That was so funny.
48
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You know what the best part is?
You passed the test.
49
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What test?
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The testicle test.
You showed some real nuts back there.
51
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I'm impressed, babe.
52
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It was cute. Real good.
53
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By the way, the age thing
doesn't concern me. What are you, 65?
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What the fuck?
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I know that's a blond wig,
and I don't care.
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Timothy, I would like to present you
with the first impression rose.
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-[Tim sighs]
-[squeaks]
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You've earned it. Boop!
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-You know, from The Bachelor. You know.
-I got it.
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-Hi. Can I start you two with anything?
-Oh, yeah.
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Let's have two tequilas,
please, señorita. [laughs]
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Actually, I don't drink,
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so I'm gonna probably just go
with a soda water.
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Whatever you have is fine.
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[groans] What?
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[laughs] Okay.
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First chink in the armor.
Mr. Perfect's not so perfect.
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But we'll fix him. [laughs]
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I'm just kidding. Don't worry. I'm a--
I'm a certified substance abuse counselor,
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so I know--
I know how to handle an alcoholic.
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I'm-- I'm not an alcoholic.
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What, just a couple DUI's?
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-No!
-"I'm not an alcoholic, sir, I swear."
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-Never.
-You a lightweight?
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-No.
-Did you piss on your friend's couch?
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-No.
-Make out at truck stops? [vocalizes]
77
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No. I just don't drink.
It's not that weird.
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Here's the thing. People who don't drink,
they always have a story.
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-I don't. Sorry to disappoint you.
-You don't disappoint me.
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Nothing you could do
would disappoint me. I love you.
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[laughs]
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[inhales] Wow.
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This, us, it feels like fate. Doesn't it?
84
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Wha... How did you meet
my grandmother again?
85
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-Jiffy Lube. Yeah.
-Oh.
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She's like, "My grandson
would be so perfect for you."
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I'm like, "Sign me up!" So, yeah.
88
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I have to visit her more often
and possibly smother her.
89
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-You're getting--
-Oh, am I?
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-Your hair is getting in--
-Oh, am I?
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-Do you want to get a napkin?
-Eh-eh-eh-eh.
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[whimpering]
[smacking lips]
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I don't think that's sanitary.
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Uh-- [gags]
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[clears throat] I hope I'm not
freaking you out on our first date. I--
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Well, I have to tell you,
I probably have never been--
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-[shouting] Stop eye-fucking me!
-I'm not. I'm just talking to you.
98
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[shouting] I'm with someone!
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We're trying to have
a romantic dinner date here!
100
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What do you think we're trying to have,
huh? Until you assholes interrupted us!
101
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Hey, my boyfriend's
gonna kick your fucking ass!
102
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No, he's not. I'm going to the restroom.
103
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-Real quick. I'll be back.
-Okay.
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Right after he gets back,
he's kicking your ass.
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[clattering]
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[Tim grunts]
[pants]
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[grunts] [pants]
Shit!
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[grunts]
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[Missy] Tim?
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[screams]
Shit!
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What you doing?
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Hey, you.
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Um...
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Good. I'm...
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You got me.
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I was climbing out the window
to run around,
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and I was gonna come back in
and sneak up on you.
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[laughs]
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[continues laughing]
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God, we are funny together.
121
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Are we? [laughs]
122
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That said, we have to leave the restaurant
right now.
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[exhales]
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Wh-Why? What happened?
125
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When you went to the bathroom,
Aquaman started mouthing off again.
126
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So, I...
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I sort of flashed him.
128
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You flashed him your breasts?
129
00:05:06.375 --> 00:05:09.541
No, I didn't flash him my breasts.
I showed him Sheila.
130
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Wh... Like, your Sheila?
131
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No. My friend, my protector, Sheila.
132
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Gah! What are you, Crocodile Dundee?
133
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What? It's a blind date.
What if you were some psycho?
134
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Then I could behead you. Hmm.
135
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Any way you could give me
a couple minutes in here?
136
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You do have to go to the bathroom now.
137
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-Yeah.
-[Missy] Yeah. I get it.
138
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When I'm dropping a deuce,
I don't want anyone talking to me, so...
139
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-[clicks tongue] Have a good shit, my man.
-Thank you.
140
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Maybe I'll take a shit, too.
141
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Mmm, don't have to.
142
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Eh, you never know. I'll push.
143
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See you in a bit.
144
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[door closes]
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[screams]
146
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-[thuds]
-[Tim screams]
147
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[screaming and crying]
148
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[toilet flushes]
149
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[continues screaming and crying]
150
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[Missy]
I'm coming, Tim! I'm coming!
151
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[Tim grunts]
152
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I bet you wish you had that tequila now,
huh, Tim?
153
00:06:01.541 --> 00:06:03.791
All right, I gotta pop this puppy
back into place ASAP.
154
00:06:03.875 --> 00:06:06.333
-[whimpering] No!
-Yeah. Don't worry. I'm a certified EMT.
155
00:06:06.416 --> 00:06:07.625
-No, no, no!
-One.
156
00:06:07.708 --> 00:06:08.625
-No, no!
-Two.
157
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-Three!
-[grunts]
158
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-Four!
-[screams]
159
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["No Roots" playing]
160
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♪ I've got no roots
But my home was never on the ground ♪
161
00:06:18.541 --> 00:06:22.583 line:5%
♪ I've got no roots
But my home was never on the ground ♪
162
00:06:22.666 --> 00:06:25.958 line:5%
♪ I've got no roots... ♪
163
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-Yeah.
-Hey, dude.
164
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Okay. Good news, bad news.
165
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First casualty of the merger.
Hanrahan got the axe.
166
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Ooh. Is that the good news
or the bad news?
167
00:06:35.291 --> 00:06:37.333
Okay. So, I guess it's good news
and good news,
168
00:06:37.416 --> 00:06:39.916
because you're on the short list
to replace him.
169
00:06:40.000 --> 00:06:43.250
And I mean short list
because you're short.
170
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[laughs] I'm just kidding.
171
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Ah, shit! I just remembered the bad news.
172
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It's down to you and "The Barracuda."
173
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Oh, fuck. Where'd you hear that?
174
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I'm the head of HR. I have access.
175
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[laughs] Like, what?
176
00:06:55.333 --> 00:06:57.250
And I'm glad you're seeing a shrink.
That's great.
177
00:06:58.250 --> 00:07:00.500
You don't want people to see your stuff,
use your personal email.
178
00:07:01.083 --> 00:07:04.333
Ah, fuck. So it's good news,
bad news, more bad news.
179
00:07:04.416 --> 00:07:06.708
Your ex-fiancée
is gonna be at the retreat.
180
00:07:06.791 --> 00:07:10.166
My office books the travel,
so Julia's gonna be with Rich.
181
00:07:10.750 --> 00:07:14.333
Well, from what I saw, all spouses
and significant others are welcome, so...
182
00:07:15.583 --> 00:07:16.708
It doesn't surprise me.
183
00:07:16.791 --> 00:07:18.833
Tim, I'm just concerned.
184
00:07:18.916 --> 00:07:20.791
You're concerned about what? I gotta go.
185
00:07:20.875 --> 00:07:23.833
I'm concerned about this.
Look at your screensaver.
186
00:07:23.916 --> 00:07:25.333
That's your ex-fiancée.
187
00:07:25.416 --> 00:07:26.416
That's insane, Tim.
188
00:07:26.500 --> 00:07:28.458
Why are you ordering Grubhub
seven days a week?
189
00:07:28.541 --> 00:07:29.500
Because I'm hungry.
190
00:07:29.583 --> 00:07:33.458
And did you really watch
seven episodes of The Affair last night?
191
00:07:34.041 --> 00:07:36.958
That was my personal computer.
What the fuck! You're on everything?
192
00:07:37.041 --> 00:07:38.291
Don't use the same password
193
00:07:38.375 --> 00:07:41.000
from your corporate account
to your personal account.
194
00:07:41.291 --> 00:07:42.708
That's on you.
195
00:07:42.791 --> 00:07:46.791
Dude, come on. It's been three months
since you went out with that crazy fuck.
196
00:07:46.875 --> 00:07:47.875
It was one date.
197
00:07:47.958 --> 00:07:49.583
The walking boots off,
198
00:07:49.958 --> 00:07:51.166
running shoes on.
199
00:07:51.791 --> 00:07:52.875
Run to a vagina.
200
00:07:52.958 --> 00:07:54.750
I'm not gonna go
through all that shit again.
201
00:07:54.833 --> 00:07:57.458
Fuck that girl, fuck my grandma,
and fuck you.
202
00:07:57.541 --> 00:07:59.000
-I'm off to Newark.
-[chuckling] What?
203
00:07:59.083 --> 00:08:02.166
If Miss Right is out there,
she can find me. I'm a hello away.
204
00:08:03.541 --> 00:08:05.500
Is that a line from The Affair?
205
00:08:05.583 --> 00:08:06.875
Yes, it is.
206
00:08:06.958 --> 00:08:09.500
["Times Won't Change Me" playing]
207
00:08:18.125 --> 00:08:19.958
♪ I heard it coming ♪
208
00:08:20.625 --> 00:08:22.875
♪ In every thunder, I wonder-- ♪
209
00:08:22.958 --> 00:08:24.291
-Oh.
-Oh, shit.
210
00:08:25.125 --> 00:08:26.541
-Oh.
-Oh. I'm sorry.
211
00:08:26.625 --> 00:08:28.083
Here. Yeah. No.
212
00:08:29.000 --> 00:08:30.083
Here. Here.
213
00:08:30.750 --> 00:08:31.583
Thanks.
214
00:08:35.833 --> 00:08:37.125
Jesus.
215
00:08:40.000 --> 00:08:40.875
Fuck.
216
00:08:43.125 --> 00:08:43.958
Hey.
217
00:08:45.125 --> 00:08:46.041
Here you go.
218
00:08:47.791 --> 00:08:48.666
[machine beeps]
219
00:08:49.500 --> 00:08:51.666
Sorry, sir.
Seems like you have the wrong ticket.
220
00:08:51.750 --> 00:08:52.916
What?
221
00:08:55.750 --> 00:08:57.125
Oh, shit!
222
00:08:57.208 --> 00:08:58.958
Excuse me. Pardon me.
223
00:08:59.833 --> 00:09:00.916
Sorry, guys.
224
00:09:01.708 --> 00:09:02.625
Shit.
225
00:09:06.208 --> 00:09:08.416
No, no. Coming. I'm coming. I'm com--
226
00:09:08.875 --> 00:09:10.916
Ah, you fucking pube-eater.
227
00:09:11.625 --> 00:09:12.541
[woman] Timothy?
228
00:09:15.875 --> 00:09:17.000
Melissa Doherty.
229
00:09:18.416 --> 00:09:20.833
[chuckles] I like your taste in luggage.
230
00:09:21.375 --> 00:09:22.791
[laughs]
231
00:09:23.083 --> 00:09:25.791
I mean, maybe I hit my head
when we collided, because I'm confused.
232
00:09:25.875 --> 00:09:28.250
Okay, I get we both grabbed
each other's carry-ons.
233
00:09:28.333 --> 00:09:31.333
-Yeah.
-But how did my book end up in your bag?
234
00:09:33.000 --> 00:09:33.916
Wait. This?
235
00:09:34.291 --> 00:09:35.541
No, this is my book.
236
00:09:38.166 --> 00:09:39.500
-This is my book.
-[laughs] Oh, no.
237
00:09:39.583 --> 00:09:40.416
[laughs]
238
00:09:41.000 --> 00:09:42.000
-Wow.
-What?
239
00:09:42.083 --> 00:09:42.958
Wow.
240
00:09:43.041 --> 00:09:44.375
Can I get you something to drink?
241
00:09:44.458 --> 00:09:45.875
Know what? Let me get you a drink.
242
00:09:45.958 --> 00:09:48.125
It's the least I can do
for making you miss your flight.
243
00:09:48.208 --> 00:09:49.666
Actually, I don't drink.
244
00:09:49.750 --> 00:09:51.583
I'll just have a club soda with a lime.
245
00:09:52.250 --> 00:09:54.500
You don't drink? I, uh...
I'll have the same thing.
246
00:09:54.583 --> 00:09:55.500
I don't drink either.
247
00:09:55.583 --> 00:09:58.000
I hope you're not saying that
to make me feel more comfortable,
248
00:09:58.083 --> 00:10:01.500
-because I'm totally okay if you want--
-[chuckling] No, I swear. I don't drink.
249
00:10:01.583 --> 00:10:02.416
Is it just me,
250
00:10:02.500 --> 00:10:06.375
or does everyone automatically assume
you're some total booze-bag?
251
00:10:06.458 --> 00:10:08.541
-[laughs] A hundred percent.
-[laughs]
252
00:10:08.625 --> 00:10:10.166
-Everybody!
-Everybody!
253
00:10:10.250 --> 00:10:12.541
-[Tim] No, those guys are great.
-[Melissa] Amazing.
254
00:10:12.625 --> 00:10:14.000
[Tim] I like all those bands.
255
00:10:14.083 --> 00:10:16.666
By the way, I was supposed
to see Phil Collins, right?
256
00:10:16.750 --> 00:10:17.625
I love him.
257
00:10:17.708 --> 00:10:21.083
And my friend talks me
into the VR version,
258
00:10:21.375 --> 00:10:22.333
that stupid shit,
259
00:10:22.416 --> 00:10:25.166
instead of going live to the show,
which is great. And I do it.
260
00:10:25.250 --> 00:10:27.541
I'm not even talking to him anymore.
It was not even close.
261
00:10:27.625 --> 00:10:28.750
-I am so with you.
-Horrible.
262
00:10:28.833 --> 00:10:30.250
-I mean, those things suck.
-Yeah.
263
00:10:30.333 --> 00:10:32.916
I'm not happy unless I'm deaf for a week
after a concert.
264
00:10:33.000 --> 00:10:34.208
-Exactly.
-Yeah.
265
00:10:36.416 --> 00:10:39.750
I have to say, this has turned out
to be the best time I've had with a guy
266
00:10:39.833 --> 00:10:40.875
in a really long time.
267
00:10:40.958 --> 00:10:43.250
-Me too. Me too. With a girl.
-[chuckles]
268
00:10:43.333 --> 00:10:44.666
But that's not saying that much.
269
00:10:44.750 --> 00:10:46.666
My closest relationship right now
270
00:10:46.750 --> 00:10:49.458
is embarrassingly
with the Grubhub delivery guy.
271
00:10:49.541 --> 00:10:50.541
-[laughs] St--
-He's nice.
272
00:10:50.625 --> 00:10:53.083
He really pushes me
out of my comfort zone.
273
00:10:53.166 --> 00:10:56.541
I invited him in to watch The Affair,
innocently, because it's a good show,
274
00:10:56.625 --> 00:10:59.333
and, uh, he's like,
"I gotta go deliver shit."
275
00:10:59.416 --> 00:11:01.041
-Hmm.
-Like, he's being really weird.
276
00:11:01.125 --> 00:11:02.916
-The Affair, huh?
-Yeah.
277
00:11:03.000 --> 00:11:04.750
-Yeah.
-I'm tell-- I think you would like it.
278
00:11:04.833 --> 00:11:07.125
I hear good things. I just... [inhales]
279
00:11:07.208 --> 00:11:08.833
It hits a little bit too close to home.
280
00:11:08.916 --> 00:11:09.791
Oh.
281
00:11:10.333 --> 00:11:11.958
My husband had an affair.
282
00:11:12.041 --> 00:11:13.166
[softly]
No!
283
00:11:13.250 --> 00:11:15.833
I suppose I should say my ex-husband.
284
00:11:17.250 --> 00:11:20.000
I have an ex-fiancée
for the exact same reason.
285
00:11:26.583 --> 00:11:28.125
[grunts] Oh, shit.
286
00:11:30.333 --> 00:11:31.208
Is this a bad idea?
287
00:11:31.291 --> 00:11:32.666
-No! No, not at all.
-Oh, okay.
288
00:11:32.750 --> 00:11:34.166
-[moaning]
-[giggles]
289
00:11:34.708 --> 00:11:35.541
Okay.
290
00:11:35.625 --> 00:11:38.416
[woman] This is the final boarding call
for flight 452 to Atlanta.
291
00:11:38.500 --> 00:11:40.833
Shit. That's me. I gotta go.
I have a meeting in the morning.
292
00:11:40.916 --> 00:11:41.916
I cannot miss this flight.
293
00:11:42.000 --> 00:11:43.500
-Yeah. For sure.
-Okay. All right.
294
00:11:43.583 --> 00:11:45.750
All right. Uh, wait. Can I get...
Can I get your number?
295
00:11:45.833 --> 00:11:47.416
-What's your number?
-Oh, my number.
296
00:11:47.500 --> 00:11:48.875
-Yeah.
-Uh, mine's 503...
297
00:11:49.833 --> 00:11:51.333
555-0131.
298
00:11:52.125 --> 00:11:53.875
-I sent you my contact.
-Okay, good.
299
00:11:53.958 --> 00:11:55.375
-[shrieks]
-Bye.
300
00:11:55.958 --> 00:11:57.916
-To be continued. Okay.
-Yeah, for sure.
301
00:11:58.458 --> 00:12:00.541
Oh, wait! Shit! You got
the wrong bag again.
302
00:12:00.625 --> 00:12:02.458
-[shrieks]
-[laughs]
303
00:12:02.541 --> 00:12:03.500
-Okay.
-[Tim] Bye.
304
00:12:04.083 --> 00:12:06.500
[panting]
305
00:12:06.583 --> 00:12:07.708
Oh, shit.
306
00:12:08.750 --> 00:12:10.000
Oh, my God.
307
00:12:10.958 --> 00:12:11.791
[exhales]
308
00:12:12.333 --> 00:12:13.166
Oh.
309
00:12:14.583 --> 00:12:15.708
[cell phone chimes]
310
00:12:15.791 --> 00:12:16.625
Oh.
311
00:12:19.000 --> 00:12:20.041
[whispering ]Yes!
312
00:12:20.125 --> 00:12:21.416
["Portland" playing]
313
00:12:21.500 --> 00:12:22.541
Fuck!
314
00:12:22.625 --> 00:12:24.958
♪ The way I wanna know you? ♪
315
00:12:25.041 --> 00:12:27.833
♪ Got several hundred stupid things ♪
316
00:12:27.916 --> 00:12:30.083
♪ That I wanna show you ♪
317
00:12:30.375 --> 00:12:32.625
♪ I punched out all the windows ♪
318
00:12:33.041 --> 00:12:35.041
♪ Just to get some light ♪
319
00:12:35.375 --> 00:12:38.041
♪ So I can give you everything ♪
320
00:12:38.125 --> 00:12:40.208
♪ It keeps me up at night... ♪
321
00:12:40.708 --> 00:12:42.375
[groans]
322
00:12:42.458 --> 00:12:43.291
[chuckles]
323
00:12:43.375 --> 00:12:45.541
♪ Who only wants a ghost ♪
324
00:12:45.625 --> 00:12:48.375
♪ Yeah, I would drop everything ♪
325
00:12:48.458 --> 00:12:50.083
♪ And drive up the damn coast... ♪
326
00:12:50.166 --> 00:12:51.083
So dumb.
327
00:12:51.166 --> 00:12:53.375
♪ Portland has nothing ♪
328
00:12:53.458 --> 00:12:57.500
♪ Especially not me ♪
329
00:12:57.583 --> 00:13:00.583
♪ How am I supposed to sleep tonight... ♪
330
00:13:00.666 --> 00:13:01.500
Shoot.
331
00:13:03.041 --> 00:13:03.916
[sighs]
332
00:13:06.333 --> 00:13:09.083
"I know it's been a bit
since we saw each other,
333
00:13:09.166 --> 00:13:11.500
but that was a hell of a first date.
334
00:13:12.583 --> 00:13:17.041
I've tried to hold off texting,
but I... can't stop thinking about you."
335
00:13:22.041 --> 00:13:23.000
[message transmits]
336
00:13:23.416 --> 00:13:24.333
[sighs]
337
00:13:24.416 --> 00:13:25.375
[cell phone chimes]
338
00:13:27.666 --> 00:13:28.958
[chuckles]
339
00:13:29.041 --> 00:13:31.250
Fuck, yes!
340
00:13:31.833 --> 00:13:32.875
Now, give it a second.
341
00:13:33.791 --> 00:13:36.625
[man on TV] Bears getting into garbage
has become a common theme
342
00:13:36.708 --> 00:13:38.666
as of late in the Newark area.
343
00:13:39.416 --> 00:13:40.375
[cell phone chimes]
344
00:13:41.833 --> 00:13:42.666
Mmm.
345
00:13:42.750 --> 00:13:46.500
[man on TV] ...inside until trash day,
and if you have to put it out early...
346
00:13:46.583 --> 00:13:48.500
-[sighs] "In bed."
-[message transmits]
347
00:13:48.583 --> 00:13:50.041
Boring answer.
348
00:13:51.125 --> 00:13:52.083
[cell phone chimes]
349
00:13:52.166 --> 00:13:53.541
[TV continues indistinctly]
350
00:13:54.500 --> 00:13:55.416
[inhales]
351
00:13:55.500 --> 00:13:57.708
Here comes another one. "Pajamas."
352
00:13:57.791 --> 00:13:58.750
[message transmits]
353
00:13:59.916 --> 00:14:00.875
[cell phone chimes]
354
00:14:05.041 --> 00:14:05.875
What?
355
00:14:06.416 --> 00:14:07.458
[cell phone chimes]
356
00:14:10.333 --> 00:14:11.958
A wiener picture?
357
00:14:12.041 --> 00:14:13.375
[exhales nervously]
358
00:14:15.333 --> 00:14:17.666
God! Is this what people do?
359
00:14:18.833 --> 00:14:19.666
[sighs]
360
00:14:20.791 --> 00:14:23.500
All right, I gotta play along. Here we go.
361
00:14:27.083 --> 00:14:28.041
[camera shutter clicks]
362
00:14:28.583 --> 00:14:29.583
[laughs]
363
00:14:30.791 --> 00:14:31.833
Oh, God.
364
00:14:32.916 --> 00:14:35.458
Dude, I thought you were full of shit.
I was, like, there's no way.
365
00:14:35.541 --> 00:14:38.625
And then, when you started
just rattling off those wiener pics...
366
00:14:38.708 --> 00:14:40.916
Just, like... It was, like, wieners.
367
00:14:41.000 --> 00:14:43.291
How did you... I mean,
I changed all of my passwords.
368
00:14:43.375 --> 00:14:44.500
Yeah. I know, but...
369
00:14:44.583 --> 00:14:46.708
Your mother's maiden name
and the last four of your soc,
370
00:14:46.791 --> 00:14:47.958
it's like...
371
00:14:48.041 --> 00:14:49.708
Anyway, here's the deal.
372
00:14:50.375 --> 00:14:52.625
Twenty years ago,
they started a thing called "manscaping."
373
00:14:52.708 --> 00:14:54.541
Where you just kind of clean the brush.
374
00:14:54.625 --> 00:14:56.875
Some girls, they like it.
375
00:14:56.958 --> 00:14:59.208
No, they don't. They don't at all.
376
00:14:59.291 --> 00:15:01.208
I looked at your photos, and I was like,
377
00:15:01.291 --> 00:15:05.250
are the pubes coming out of the penis,
or is the penis coming out of the pubes?
378
00:15:05.333 --> 00:15:07.416
Like, it was like a mystery.
Like, full on.
379
00:15:07.500 --> 00:15:09.708
I was like, "How do I solve this?"
380
00:15:09.791 --> 00:15:12.041
Anyway, I gotta see a picture
of this chick,
381
00:15:12.125 --> 00:15:13.875
above the belt, dude. Come on.
382
00:15:14.583 --> 00:15:16.916
Holy shit. Is that real?
383
00:15:17.000 --> 00:15:20.416
Dude, your Miss Right was Miss Maryland.
384
00:15:20.500 --> 00:15:23.000
She graduated
top of her class at Georgetown,
385
00:15:23.083 --> 00:15:25.708
two-sport collegiate athlete.
386
00:15:25.791 --> 00:15:27.833
You girls gossiping
about The Barracuda again?
387
00:15:27.916 --> 00:15:30.875
Uh, no, but we will when you leave,
'cause you're a psycho.
388
00:15:30.958 --> 00:15:33.250
Yeah. Well, when I get
promoted to president,
389
00:15:33.333 --> 00:15:36.166
I may just have to tighten the belt
on our online porn policy.
390
00:15:36.250 --> 00:15:38.458
It's not porn. That's Tim's girlfriend.
391
00:15:38.541 --> 00:15:41.083
-Timmy's got a girlfriend?
-Excuse me.
392
00:15:41.666 --> 00:15:42.875
Miss Maryland?
393
00:15:42.958 --> 00:15:44.166
You got to be kidding me.
394
00:15:44.250 --> 00:15:48.041
I'm not. She graduated top of her class,
not on top of her professor, like you.
395
00:15:48.916 --> 00:15:50.416
I'll believe it when I see it.
396
00:15:51.000 --> 00:15:52.416
Later, Siegfried and Doy.
397
00:15:52.500 --> 00:15:55.291
-Okay. Good talk.
-I'm Siegfried.
398
00:15:55.375 --> 00:15:56.583
I'm Doy, I guess.
399
00:15:56.666 --> 00:15:57.750
-No shit.
-Who cares?
400
00:15:57.833 --> 00:15:59.916
Anyway, you got to bring her
to Hawaii, dude.
401
00:16:00.000 --> 00:16:01.833
I can't bring her on a corporate retreat.
402
00:16:01.916 --> 00:16:05.333
Why not? Winstone would freak out
if you brought a girl like that.
403
00:16:05.416 --> 00:16:06.833
-Uh...
-She's amazing.
404
00:16:06.916 --> 00:16:10.125
What woman wouldn't want to leave Portland
and go to the tropics?
405
00:16:10.208 --> 00:16:12.750
She's not gonna come.
I've only known her a week.
406
00:16:12.833 --> 00:16:15.083
Dude, it's a no-brainer. Text her now.
407
00:16:15.166 --> 00:16:16.166
[groans]
408
00:16:19.583 --> 00:16:20.541
[cell phone chimes]
409
00:16:22.166 --> 00:16:23.416
She said yes!
410
00:16:23.500 --> 00:16:25.125
[laughing]
Yeah!
411
00:16:25.208 --> 00:16:27.375
Have her email my assistant
all of her info.
412
00:16:27.458 --> 00:16:29.333
I'll book you on the same flight.
413
00:16:29.416 --> 00:16:30.416
Oh, my God.
414
00:16:30.500 --> 00:16:33.333
Aloha, motherfucker! I told you! Yes!
415
00:16:33.916 --> 00:16:35.916
I won! I won!
416
00:16:36.000 --> 00:16:37.625
["Small Spaces" playing]
417
00:16:51.416 --> 00:16:52.291
[blows]
418
00:16:57.083 --> 00:16:57.916
Hey, buddy.
419
00:16:59.125 --> 00:17:01.458
Can you do me a huge favor
and maybe, uh...
420
00:17:02.125 --> 00:17:03.375
check my breath for me?
421
00:17:03.916 --> 00:17:04.750
What's that, bud?
422
00:17:04.833 --> 00:17:06.333
I'm meeting this girl on the plane,
423
00:17:06.416 --> 00:17:09.583
and she's... incredible,
and I don't want to blow it with her.
424
00:17:09.666 --> 00:17:11.833
-Oh. I got you, dude.
-I know it sounds crazy.
425
00:17:11.916 --> 00:17:12.833
Give me a taste.
426
00:17:14.583 --> 00:17:16.083
[blows]
427
00:17:17.833 --> 00:17:18.833
Okay, one more time.
428
00:17:20.625 --> 00:17:22.833
[blows]
429
00:17:23.208 --> 00:17:24.666
Come on, man. Really bring it to me.
430
00:17:30.750 --> 00:17:33.666
[blows]
431
00:17:33.750 --> 00:17:34.625
[sniffs]
432
00:17:35.375 --> 00:17:36.208
Smells good.
433
00:17:37.500 --> 00:17:38.833
Did you eat dog shit this morning?
434
00:17:39.916 --> 00:17:41.625
I'm just kidding. You're good to go.
435
00:17:43.000 --> 00:17:43.958
[cell phone chimes]
436
00:17:44.791 --> 00:17:46.041
Where is she?
437
00:17:47.625 --> 00:17:49.250
No. Wha...
438
00:17:49.958 --> 00:17:50.791
Fuck.
439
00:17:51.166 --> 00:17:52.125
[cell phone chimes]
440
00:17:53.666 --> 00:17:54.500
[chuckles]
441
00:17:56.041 --> 00:17:57.000
[cell phone chimes]
442
00:17:58.875 --> 00:18:00.333
-[clattering]
-[woman] God.
443
00:18:00.416 --> 00:18:01.416
Oh. Oh.
444
00:18:01.500 --> 00:18:03.041
Ah. Ooh.
445
00:18:04.625 --> 00:18:06.500
[chuckles] It's so great to see you!
446
00:18:07.041 --> 00:18:08.416
[squeals]
447
00:18:09.000 --> 00:18:10.500
-Wh...
-[meowing]
448
00:18:10.583 --> 00:18:11.541
Wh... Wh...
449
00:18:12.208 --> 00:18:14.166
You smell so good. What is that?
450
00:18:14.666 --> 00:18:15.583
Is that soap?
451
00:18:15.916 --> 00:18:17.333
Sorry. I'm a little sweaty. I...
452
00:18:17.916 --> 00:18:19.500
I had a little TSA pat-down.
453
00:18:19.583 --> 00:18:21.291
Guess I'm too sexy. [chuckles]
454
00:18:21.375 --> 00:18:23.666
No, I had, uh... I had Sheila in my purse,
455
00:18:23.750 --> 00:18:26.750
but I got away with it because I told him
it was a service knife.
456
00:18:26.833 --> 00:18:29.458
-So, don't worry. You're protected.
-That's funny.
457
00:18:29.541 --> 00:18:30.541
-[laughs]
-[chuckles]
458
00:18:31.333 --> 00:18:33.958
What... What are you doing here?
459
00:18:35.041 --> 00:18:37.583
[funny voice] "What are you doing here?"
"What are you doing here?"
460
00:18:37.916 --> 00:18:39.166
"What are you doing here?" Yeah.
461
00:18:39.250 --> 00:18:40.500
Are these for me?
462
00:18:40.583 --> 00:18:43.000
-Those aren't--
-[sniffs] You got me roses?
463
00:18:43.083 --> 00:18:45.000
That is so sweet.
464
00:18:45.083 --> 00:18:47.000
Mmm. I want to motorboat 'em.
465
00:18:47.083 --> 00:18:48.333
[motorboats]
466
00:18:48.416 --> 00:18:49.625
[laughs]
467
00:18:50.375 --> 00:18:53.250
I've never flown first class.
This is crazy.
468
00:18:53.583 --> 00:18:55.041
Wait. What's in this bag?
469
00:18:55.833 --> 00:18:57.583
What in the world?
470
00:18:58.125 --> 00:18:59.708
-Like, free stuff?
-[softly] No!
471
00:18:59.791 --> 00:19:01.333
[Missy]
Oh, my God.
472
00:19:01.416 --> 00:19:02.958
I didn't have any of this.
473
00:19:03.041 --> 00:19:04.833
Deodorant? That's perfect.
474
00:19:04.916 --> 00:19:08.750
Tim... when I caught you climbing out
of that bathroom window,
475
00:19:09.166 --> 00:19:12.500
I thought to myself, "He's just a flake
like all the other guys," you know?
476
00:19:12.583 --> 00:19:15.125
Then I got that text from you,
and I was just like...
477
00:19:16.041 --> 00:19:17.166
You saved my life.
478
00:19:17.250 --> 00:19:18.875
[inhales] No, actually, I didn't.
479
00:19:18.958 --> 00:19:20.958
-This is actually just a big mis--
-Yes. You did.
480
00:19:21.041 --> 00:19:22.708
You're not just my soulmate, Tim.
481
00:19:23.958 --> 00:19:25.000
You're my savior.
482
00:19:25.541 --> 00:19:28.916
[Missy] There I was. About to jump
off the highest bridge in Portland.
483
00:19:29.000 --> 00:19:30.500
-[cell phone chimes]
-[Missy] But I didn't.
484
00:19:30.583 --> 00:19:32.916
Because it was one hell of a first date,
485
00:19:33.000 --> 00:19:34.291
and it was fate.
486
00:19:36.000 --> 00:19:36.833
N--
487
00:19:37.625 --> 00:19:39.458
Thank you for not breaking my heart.
488
00:19:39.541 --> 00:19:41.458
-Because that would just be...
-[sighs]
489
00:19:41.833 --> 00:19:43.291
...disastrous for me.
490
00:19:44.458 --> 00:19:45.583
[sighs]
491
00:19:45.666 --> 00:19:48.416
-Can I get you something to drink?
-Ooh, yeah. I'll have a tequila.
492
00:19:48.500 --> 00:19:49.333
Make it two.
493
00:19:49.416 --> 00:19:50.625
Mmm, no.
494
00:19:50.875 --> 00:19:53.125
What? I'm sorry. He's an alcoholic.
495
00:19:53.208 --> 00:19:56.083
I'm not gonna let you
fall off the wagon on my watch, mister.
496
00:19:56.666 --> 00:19:57.541
[mouthing]
Make it two.
497
00:19:58.541 --> 00:20:00.416
-[Tim] What are you taking?
-You are taking it.
498
00:20:00.500 --> 00:20:01.583
-[grunts]
-You have that.
499
00:20:01.666 --> 00:20:02.541
[swallows]
[grunts]
500
00:20:02.625 --> 00:20:03.875
I swallowed that!
501
00:20:03.958 --> 00:20:05.583
-Good.
-What the fuck is it?
502
00:20:05.666 --> 00:20:07.375
-It's a dog tranquilizer.
-What?
503
00:20:07.458 --> 00:20:08.375
Good night.
504
00:20:08.458 --> 00:20:09.875
Ooh, ooh. No, no, no. No, no, no.
505
00:20:09.958 --> 00:20:12.000
-Two for me. None for you. Okay.
-[softly] Fuck!
506
00:20:12.083 --> 00:20:14.375
To the best weekend ever. [laughs]
507
00:20:14.458 --> 00:20:16.166
[woman on PA]
The cabin doors are now locked.
508
00:20:16.250 --> 00:20:18.333
-[softly] Fuck.
-[woman on PA] Please prepare for takeoff.
509
00:20:26.166 --> 00:20:27.500
[rhythmic rustling]
510
00:20:33.791 --> 00:20:34.625
[clicks tongue]
511
00:20:34.708 --> 00:20:37.083
How's that for a wake-up call, hmm?
512
00:20:37.166 --> 00:20:38.000
You like that?
513
00:20:38.083 --> 00:20:39.208
Good Lord.
514
00:20:39.291 --> 00:20:41.666
-What are you doing?
-Shh! He's sleeping.
515
00:20:42.166 --> 00:20:44.833
Don't worry. I was quiet like an assassin.
516
00:20:44.916 --> 00:20:46.708
But he's right there.
517
00:20:46.791 --> 00:20:49.791
Did you not want an upsy-downsy?
I'm using lotion.
518
00:20:49.875 --> 00:20:51.625
I mean, it's nice. I--
519
00:20:52.041 --> 00:20:54.708
But I just want to not spoil the weekend.
520
00:20:54.791 --> 00:20:57.041
-You know what I mean? Oh, shit.
-[plane rattling]
521
00:20:57.625 --> 00:20:58.666
[yelping]
522
00:20:58.750 --> 00:21:01.416
[grunting]
523
00:21:02.291 --> 00:21:03.208
[moans]
524
00:21:03.291 --> 00:21:04.208
[exhales]
525
00:21:09.875 --> 00:21:10.708
Sorry.
526
00:21:10.791 --> 00:21:11.625
Tim.
527
00:21:12.541 --> 00:21:14.083
It was wonderful.
528
00:21:14.666 --> 00:21:15.666
Ugh!
529
00:21:22.041 --> 00:21:23.208
You're going to hell.
530
00:21:25.625 --> 00:21:27.166
-How long--?
-Forty minutes.
531
00:21:27.250 --> 00:21:28.750
-Forty minutes...
-Do you have a tissue?
532
00:21:29.666 --> 00:21:30.500
I--
533
00:21:30.583 --> 00:21:31.583
Mmm.
534
00:21:32.750 --> 00:21:35.208
I knew you were awake. Freak!
535
00:21:35.291 --> 00:21:37.750
["Warning" playing]
536
00:21:37.833 --> 00:21:39.166
♪ This is a warning ♪
537
00:21:39.791 --> 00:21:42.958
♪ We got to get down to this place ♪
538
00:21:44.125 --> 00:21:45.791
♪ This is a warning ♪
539
00:21:46.083 --> 00:21:47.750
♪ We're calling from miles away... ♪
540
00:21:47.833 --> 00:21:50.875
Oh, my God! This is absolute paradise!
541
00:21:50.958 --> 00:21:52.750
Best second date ever!
542
00:21:52.833 --> 00:21:56.125
I swear to God, if I see a sea turtle
in that ocean, I am riding it!
543
00:21:56.208 --> 00:21:58.000
You can't ride the turtles.
544
00:21:58.083 --> 00:22:00.791
Well, what if they want to ride me?
[chuckles]
545
00:22:00.875 --> 00:22:02.833
-That's inappropriate.
-And disturbing.
546
00:22:02.916 --> 00:22:05.375
Okay, maybe you're inappropriate
and disturbing.
547
00:22:05.458 --> 00:22:08.750
-I'm just being nice to a goddamn turtle.
-Have respect for the island.
548
00:22:08.833 --> 00:22:10.000
Shut the fuck up!
549
00:22:10.083 --> 00:22:11.708
[all shouting indistinctly]
550
00:22:12.291 --> 00:22:13.958
-You don't even know me!
-Hey, what...
551
00:22:14.041 --> 00:22:15.208
You don't even know me!
552
00:22:15.291 --> 00:22:17.291
-Nice to meet you.
-I love kids.
553
00:22:17.375 --> 00:22:19.041
-Oh, I want kids so bad.
-What are you--
554
00:22:19.125 --> 00:22:21.000
Aloha, can I offer you a cocktail?
555
00:22:21.083 --> 00:22:22.541
Oh, what do we have here?
556
00:22:22.625 --> 00:22:26.250
We have a couple of local favorites.
We have the Mai Tai or the Tropical Itch.
557
00:22:26.333 --> 00:22:29.291
If I get a tropical itch from this guy,
I'm gonna be a tropical bitch!
558
00:22:29.875 --> 00:22:32.166
Thirty-five years on this planet,
not one STD.
559
00:22:32.250 --> 00:22:33.250
Mmm. [slurps]
560
00:22:33.333 --> 00:22:35.208
-Can you say the same?
-Okay. Heh. Sorry.
561
00:22:35.291 --> 00:22:36.125
[Missy] Ooh!
562
00:22:36.583 --> 00:22:40.250
-[exhales] Uh, checking in for Morris.
-Welcome, Mr. and Mrs. Morris.
563
00:22:40.333 --> 00:22:42.166
Ooh, I like the sound of that.
564
00:22:42.250 --> 00:22:44.125
[grunts] I like the feel of that.
565
00:22:44.208 --> 00:22:46.291
[sniffs] I like the smell of that.
566
00:22:46.958 --> 00:22:49.541
Yo, aloha, bro.
Can you point us to the spa, please?
567
00:22:50.041 --> 00:22:52.416
Oh-ho-ho-ho! Timmy!
568
00:22:52.500 --> 00:22:54.000
What's up, buddy?
569
00:22:54.083 --> 00:22:55.375
What's going on there, Rich?
570
00:22:55.458 --> 00:22:56.666
-[Rich] Hey!
-Hey, Julia.
571
00:22:57.125 --> 00:22:58.041
Hey, Tim.
572
00:22:58.125 --> 00:22:59.625
I'm Missy. Tim's girlfriend.
573
00:22:59.708 --> 00:23:01.291
-Hi. Hi.
-[Rich] Oh!
574
00:23:01.375 --> 00:23:02.458
Tim's friend. We're friends.
575
00:23:02.541 --> 00:23:04.625
Oh, yeah. I think we soared
way past the friend zone
576
00:23:04.708 --> 00:23:07.208
when I gave him the ol' Jergens Jerk
on the plane ride over here.
577
00:23:07.291 --> 00:23:09.208
Sounds like somebody
had a fun flight, huh?
578
00:23:09.291 --> 00:23:11.875
-No, she's joking around.
-Yeah, I'm joking.
579
00:23:11.958 --> 00:23:14.541
-[mouthing] No, I'm not.
-[Rich laughs]
580
00:23:14.625 --> 00:23:15.916
Z-z-z-z-z-z-z [coughs]
581
00:23:16.000 --> 00:23:16.833
Wow.
582
00:23:16.916 --> 00:23:21.041
I'm sensing such a strong
sexual connection between you two.
583
00:23:21.125 --> 00:23:22.958
Ah-swish! [laughs]
584
00:23:23.041 --> 00:23:24.166
She nailed us, huh?
585
00:23:24.250 --> 00:23:25.666
Oh, no, no. Not you two.
586
00:23:25.750 --> 00:23:27.875
You two. D-Do you have a history?
587
00:23:27.958 --> 00:23:30.208
[laughs] She doesn't know about you guys?
588
00:23:30.291 --> 00:23:31.250
-Know what?
-[laughs]
589
00:23:31.833 --> 00:23:33.458
These two were freaking engaged.
590
00:23:33.958 --> 00:23:39.708
-He was the guy before. I am now the guy.
-We should get going. We're gonna be late.
591
00:23:39.791 --> 00:23:41.625
All right, we'll catch up
at the welcome mixer.
592
00:23:41.708 --> 00:23:43.916
-[Julia] Mm-hmm.
-The spa's gotta be this way, babe.
593
00:23:44.666 --> 00:23:47.291
Well, well, well, Mr. Mystery.
594
00:23:47.375 --> 00:23:49.458
Any other deep, dark secrets
you want to share?
595
00:23:49.541 --> 00:23:51.083
-That's so...
-You know, it's fine.
596
00:23:51.166 --> 00:23:52.666
You're lucky I'm not the jealous type.
597
00:23:52.750 --> 00:23:56.250
In fact, if you want to fuckface me,
I'm totally cool with it.
598
00:23:59.250 --> 00:24:00.166
Fuckface you?
599
00:24:00.250 --> 00:24:04.833
Yeah, you know,
if you want to imagine her face on my face
600
00:24:04.916 --> 00:24:06.416
when we fuck,
601
00:24:06.500 --> 00:24:09.041
I'm more than comfortable with that.
602
00:24:09.750 --> 00:24:12.958
Well, I'm definitely not
comfortable with...
603
00:24:13.750 --> 00:24:14.625
any part of that.
604
00:24:15.166 --> 00:24:16.000
Okay.
605
00:24:16.833 --> 00:24:17.791
Can I get the keys?
606
00:24:17.875 --> 00:24:19.500
-Thank you. Have a-a nice day.
-Thank you.
607
00:24:19.583 --> 00:24:20.791
Wait, honey.
608
00:24:21.375 --> 00:24:22.666
[Missy]
Oh, my God!
609
00:24:22.750 --> 00:24:23.833
Are you rich?
610
00:24:24.250 --> 00:24:26.125
What the fuck is this?
611
00:24:26.208 --> 00:24:27.458
I made it!
612
00:24:27.541 --> 00:24:28.833
I made it!
613
00:24:28.916 --> 00:24:30.458
Yeah!
614
00:24:30.541 --> 00:24:32.750
All my teachers can eat my asshole!
615
00:24:32.833 --> 00:24:33.666
[gasps]
616
00:24:34.208 --> 00:24:36.291
"Aloha, Tim and Melissa."
617
00:24:36.708 --> 00:24:37.541
[gasps]
618
00:24:37.625 --> 00:24:38.750
I love that.
619
00:24:39.208 --> 00:24:40.041
I gotta warn you.
620
00:24:40.625 --> 00:24:42.500
Big Momma Spanky could get used to this.
621
00:24:42.583 --> 00:24:43.416
[laughs]
622
00:24:43.500 --> 00:24:46.083
Well, I mean, in fairness,
it's just one weekend.
623
00:24:46.666 --> 00:24:48.250
I'm gonna bite into you like this.
624
00:24:48.875 --> 00:24:51.416
[chewing and moaning]
625
00:24:51.500 --> 00:24:53.166
[mouthful] Oh, rose petals.
626
00:24:53.708 --> 00:24:56.041
What does lover boy have up his sleeve?
627
00:24:56.125 --> 00:24:57.000
[chuckles]
628
00:24:57.458 --> 00:24:59.041
-[gasps]
-God damn.
629
00:24:59.583 --> 00:25:01.583
-[Missy grunting]
-[water splashing]
630
00:25:02.333 --> 00:25:04.166
Hey, are you okay in there?
631
00:25:04.250 --> 00:25:06.791
[Missy] I'm fine.
I just fell in the toilet again.
632
00:25:06.875 --> 00:25:07.833
Help me.
633
00:25:09.250 --> 00:25:10.500
What-- What happened?
634
00:25:11.416 --> 00:25:12.625
[Missy] Just joshin'.
635
00:25:13.541 --> 00:25:14.541
Why don't you come in here
636
00:25:14.625 --> 00:25:17.666
so we can see what your pecker looks like
when it's floating on the surface?
637
00:25:17.750 --> 00:25:20.583
Yeah. Missy, we need to talk. Um...
638
00:25:24.500 --> 00:25:25.333
Where'd you go?
639
00:25:25.416 --> 00:25:26.875
-[chuckles]
-[hissing]
640
00:25:28.583 --> 00:25:30.791
[in evil voice]
I am Hellstar.
641
00:25:30.875 --> 00:25:33.500
Who dares to enter my lair?
642
00:25:33.583 --> 00:25:34.750
[blathers]
643
00:25:34.833 --> 00:25:37.375
Finally, someone normal to talk to.
Hi, Hellstar.
644
00:25:37.458 --> 00:25:39.750
Oh. A mortal.
645
00:25:39.833 --> 00:25:44.375
Mmm. You know, the only one thing
a mortal can do to please Hellstar
646
00:25:44.458 --> 00:25:47.333
is get on all fours, and arch your back,
647
00:25:47.416 --> 00:25:49.958
and submit to the master of darkness!
648
00:25:50.041 --> 00:25:51.583
[blathers]
649
00:25:53.041 --> 00:25:55.083
Right, okay, Hellstar.
I mean, we'll get to all that.
650
00:25:55.166 --> 00:25:56.708
Uh, I have to run out for a few seconds.
651
00:25:56.791 --> 00:25:58.541
Oh, what? You're gonna leave?
652
00:25:58.833 --> 00:26:00.583
Right when it was getting good?
653
00:26:00.666 --> 00:26:01.916
[groans]
654
00:26:02.000 --> 00:26:02.916
This is so dumb.
655
00:26:03.000 --> 00:26:07.208
I have to go to an orientation
mandatory mixer with my new boss.
656
00:26:07.625 --> 00:26:09.916
No one's allowed to skip it, so...
[clicks tongue]
657
00:26:10.000 --> 00:26:12.291
-I'm just gonna... [whistles]
-Oh, wait. I'll come with you.
658
00:26:12.375 --> 00:26:14.000
-Let me just dry off.
-No, no, no! No. No.
659
00:26:14.083 --> 00:26:15.125
You stay there.
660
00:26:15.208 --> 00:26:17.083
Relax. Have some champagne.
661
00:26:17.166 --> 00:26:19.958
Throw in some more bubbles,
maybe a toaster, just splash around.
662
00:26:20.041 --> 00:26:21.291
And you soak for a long time.
663
00:26:21.375 --> 00:26:23.041
A long, long, long, long time. [laughs]
664
00:26:23.125 --> 00:26:24.708
Oh, Tim!
665
00:26:25.041 --> 00:26:26.125
You're so sweet.
666
00:26:26.708 --> 00:26:29.875
I don't know what I did to deserve you,
but thank you.
667
00:26:29.958 --> 00:26:30.791
I will.
668
00:26:32.291 --> 00:26:33.500
Mmm. No.
669
00:26:33.583 --> 00:26:35.708
Okay. Catch you in a few.
670
00:26:35.916 --> 00:26:36.750
Stay in the tub.
671
00:26:36.833 --> 00:26:39.541
[Jack Winstone]
And now that the merger is complete,
672
00:26:39.625 --> 00:26:42.708
I just want the entire C of A crew to know
673
00:26:42.791 --> 00:26:47.041
that I could not be more proud or pumped
to be your new captain.
674
00:26:47.125 --> 00:26:49.083
Woo! Swish! [laughs]
675
00:26:49.166 --> 00:26:51.208
Got a lot of great things
planned for this retreat.
676
00:26:51.291 --> 00:26:54.333
Especially the talent show,
which I know we're all very excited about.
677
00:26:54.416 --> 00:26:57.250
And I look forward to getting to know
each and every one of you
678
00:26:57.333 --> 00:26:58.750
and your better halves.
679
00:26:59.333 --> 00:27:00.166
Enjoy.
680
00:27:00.250 --> 00:27:01.458
[crowd cheering and applauding]
681
00:27:02.083 --> 00:27:03.083
There's the king.
682
00:27:03.166 --> 00:27:04.166
-There he is.
-Hey.
683
00:27:04.250 --> 00:27:06.458
Dude, spoke to Winstone all about you.
684
00:27:06.541 --> 00:27:07.833
Totally tee'd you up.
685
00:27:07.916 --> 00:27:10.083
-Fuck.
-"Fuck"?
686
00:27:10.166 --> 00:27:12.458
I screwed up so huge.
687
00:27:12.541 --> 00:27:13.375
What?
688
00:27:13.458 --> 00:27:15.416
The girl in my room
is not who I thought she was.
689
00:27:15.500 --> 00:27:17.375
That's your fault
for trying to get to know her.
690
00:27:17.458 --> 00:27:18.416
That's on you, bud.
691
00:27:18.500 --> 00:27:21.041
No, remember that crazy blind date
I had a while ago?
692
00:27:21.125 --> 00:27:23.750
This whole time I thought
I was texting my dream girl,
693
00:27:23.833 --> 00:27:24.916
I'm texting that girl.
694
00:27:25.000 --> 00:27:28.166
Dude, that happened to me.
I accidentally sent my uncle a dick pic.
695
00:27:28.250 --> 00:27:32.291
He saw it, had a stroke. It was awful.
It was like a nightmare for our family.
696
00:27:32.375 --> 00:27:34.416
I don't give a fuck
about your uncle at all.
697
00:27:34.500 --> 00:27:36.125
This is real. What do I do?
698
00:27:36.208 --> 00:27:37.458
Dude, just come clean.
699
00:27:37.541 --> 00:27:40.333
I wanted to, but then she told me
she was feeling suicidal
700
00:27:40.416 --> 00:27:41.625
until I started texting her.
701
00:27:41.708 --> 00:27:43.791
Who are we
to get in the way of destiny, man?
702
00:27:43.875 --> 00:27:47.166
If her time's up, her time's up.
She's spirit world.
703
00:27:47.250 --> 00:27:48.583
[Winstone]
Where's Miss Maryland?
704
00:27:48.666 --> 00:27:49.875
-Mr. Winstone!
-No--
705
00:27:49.958 --> 00:27:52.250
-Sir, I'd like to introduce you--
-[Winstone] I know who he is.
706
00:27:52.875 --> 00:27:54.875
You don't think
I'd buy a half-billion dollar company
707
00:27:54.958 --> 00:27:56.208
and not know its biggest assets?
708
00:27:56.291 --> 00:27:58.333
[laughs] Well, that's nice. Nice.
709
00:27:58.416 --> 00:28:00.208
Your name's been mentioned
quite a bit, Jim.
710
00:28:00.291 --> 00:28:03.291
Oh. Actually, it's Tim. Tim Morris.
But thank you, sir.
711
00:28:03.375 --> 00:28:05.791
-I have your coffee, sir.
-I didn't want a coffee.
712
00:28:05.875 --> 00:28:06.708
Oh.
713
00:28:07.125 --> 00:28:08.083
Should I drink it?
714
00:28:08.750 --> 00:28:09.916
I don't care.
715
00:28:12.916 --> 00:28:16.000
So, where's this beauty of yours
that Nate keeps bragging to me about?
716
00:28:16.083 --> 00:28:17.916
-Oh.
-Wait, wait, wait, Tim. Get this.
717
00:28:18.000 --> 00:28:21.833
-Mr. Winstone's wife was Miss Texas.
-No!
718
00:28:21.916 --> 00:28:25.916
That's right. And before that,
she dated Evander Holyfield.
719
00:28:26.000 --> 00:28:28.250
-Oh, my God!
-More like "holy shit".
720
00:28:28.333 --> 00:28:29.666
-Yeah.
-[both laugh]
721
00:28:29.750 --> 00:28:31.208
That's a good one, Ted. [laughs]
722
00:28:31.791 --> 00:28:33.125
Good. That's a good one.
723
00:28:33.208 --> 00:28:35.458
My husband, Paul,
was a Guess Jeans model.
724
00:28:35.541 --> 00:28:38.083
I used to have really skinny legs
and a great ass.
725
00:28:38.166 --> 00:28:41.583
They photoshopped my bottom half
on Claudia Schiffer's torso.
726
00:28:41.666 --> 00:28:43.375
Who do you model for now? Cinnabon?
727
00:28:43.458 --> 00:28:45.708
-Huh?
-You know, unfortunately, my beauty queen
728
00:28:45.791 --> 00:28:47.791
uh, isn't feeling quite herself today.
729
00:28:47.875 --> 00:28:48.708
Oh, is she sick?
730
00:28:48.791 --> 00:28:50.083
You could say that.
731
00:28:50.166 --> 00:28:52.791
You know, uh, I don't even know
if we'll see her the whole weekend.
732
00:28:52.875 --> 00:28:55.125
She's suffering from severe jet lag.
733
00:28:55.208 --> 00:28:57.958
-From a five-hour flight?
-Well, she also had flown in from Paris.
734
00:28:58.041 --> 00:28:59.541
-Fashion Week and all that.
-Yeah.
735
00:28:59.625 --> 00:29:01.750
Oh, well, you know, that makes more sense.
736
00:29:01.833 --> 00:29:03.791
Nate tells me
she's also one hell of an athlete.
737
00:29:03.875 --> 00:29:05.375
All-American tennis player.
738
00:29:05.458 --> 00:29:08.291
Yup. Uh, in the old days, she was.
So, you know...
739
00:29:08.375 --> 00:29:11.083
Not to brag, but the wife and I
are defending doubles champions
740
00:29:11.166 --> 00:29:12.000
at our country club.
741
00:29:12.083 --> 00:29:14.416
So we might have to hook up
a little mixed doubles match
742
00:29:14.500 --> 00:29:15.666
with you and your little lady.
743
00:29:15.750 --> 00:29:18.291
Oh, yeah, a little afternoon foursome
sounds fun.
744
00:29:18.375 --> 00:29:19.333
-[laughs]
-Uh, hi...
745
00:29:19.416 --> 00:29:21.125
[Missy] Oh! Winstone.
746
00:29:21.208 --> 00:29:23.500
You didn't tell me he was a porker.
He's a little pork pie.
747
00:29:23.583 --> 00:29:25.125
-[laughs]
-No... [chuckles]
748
00:29:25.208 --> 00:29:27.750
-This is, uh, Mr. Winstone, right here.
-Oh, that makes more sense.
749
00:29:27.833 --> 00:29:29.166
I'm sorry. You are?
750
00:29:29.250 --> 00:29:32.083
She who makes Tim cream his shorts.
[laughs]
751
00:29:32.166 --> 00:29:33.500
I'm Missy. I'm Tim's little lady.
752
00:29:35.166 --> 00:29:37.041
Honey, you've had
a little champagne today.
753
00:29:37.125 --> 00:29:38.250
-No, no. 151.
-Okay.
754
00:29:38.333 --> 00:29:40.791
-Uh, can I talk to you for one second?
-Oh, yeah.
755
00:29:40.875 --> 00:29:42.125
We're planning a surprise party.
756
00:29:42.208 --> 00:29:45.041
Oh, I'm getting a tongue lashing,
not the good kind. [laughs]
757
00:29:45.125 --> 00:29:47.291
Okay, that old guy is a dark cloud.
758
00:29:47.375 --> 00:29:49.000
He's putting out
some real negative energy.
759
00:29:49.083 --> 00:29:52.000
-That dark cloud is my new boss.
-Oh, shit.
760
00:29:52.541 --> 00:29:53.958
No shit, "Oh, shit."
761
00:29:54.041 --> 00:29:56.125
Toe shit, no shit, oh, shit.
762
00:29:56.583 --> 00:29:57.416
What?
763
00:29:57.500 --> 00:29:59.208
Tim. I'm so sorry.
764
00:29:59.291 --> 00:30:02.083
You two are not a good match. I don't
think you should work here anymore.
765
00:30:02.166 --> 00:30:04.125
I'm working here.
I've worked here for 20 years.
766
00:30:04.208 --> 00:30:05.125
So?
767
00:30:05.208 --> 00:30:09.166
Listen. I may have gone a little bit
overboard in bragging about you,
768
00:30:09.250 --> 00:30:11.375
saying you were
a two-sport collegiate athlete,
769
00:30:11.458 --> 00:30:14.291
and you may or may not have won
a beauty contest in the past.
770
00:30:15.291 --> 00:30:17.125
Oh, my God. [chuckles]
771
00:30:17.208 --> 00:30:19.083
You're obsessed with me.
772
00:30:19.166 --> 00:30:20.833
[laughs] Oh, my God. Okay.
773
00:30:20.916 --> 00:30:22.625
Um, we're either gonna end up married,
774
00:30:22.708 --> 00:30:25.625
or I'm gonna end up naked and dead
in a ravine somewhere.
775
00:30:25.708 --> 00:30:26.708
[grunts]
[laughs]
776
00:30:26.791 --> 00:30:29.500
-I-I don't see that happening.
-Which one? I'm down for either.
777
00:30:29.583 --> 00:30:30.541
Would you do me a favor?
778
00:30:30.625 --> 00:30:32.750
This is my company's corporate retreat.
It's a big deal.
779
00:30:32.833 --> 00:30:34.916
-Yeah, huge. Yeah.
-So, please,
780
00:30:35.000 --> 00:30:38.500
will you keep things
cool, calm, and very collected.
781
00:30:38.583 --> 00:30:39.958
You're so worried, Tim.
782
00:30:40.041 --> 00:30:42.666
Okay, I'm a people-person.
Have you not noticed that?
783
00:30:42.750 --> 00:30:43.708
Yeah.
784
00:30:43.791 --> 00:30:47.083
I'm gonna have all these boring bankers
eating out of the palm of my hand.
785
00:30:47.916 --> 00:30:48.791
[sighs]
786
00:30:48.875 --> 00:30:51.208
♪ Feeling good, feeling good
Feeling good ♪
787
00:30:51.291 --> 00:30:52.333
♪ All right... ♪
788
00:30:52.416 --> 00:30:53.916
-I think about--
-Excuse us real quick.
789
00:30:54.000 --> 00:30:56.250
Sorry, mahalo, everybody.
Many, many mahalos.
790
00:30:56.333 --> 00:30:58.916
You've got to get Nostradamus
the fuck out of here.
791
00:30:59.000 --> 00:31:00.500
-Who?
-Missy!
792
00:31:00.583 --> 00:31:03.125
She's giving psychic readings
to the entire company.
793
00:31:03.208 --> 00:31:06.208
Could be a lot of horrible things coming,
and it could happen at any point.
794
00:31:06.291 --> 00:31:09.125
I just talked to her! God damn it!
795
00:31:09.208 --> 00:31:10.041
Um...
796
00:31:10.125 --> 00:31:12.333
I'm seeing a little boy.
His name's Calvin.
797
00:31:12.416 --> 00:31:13.666
Yes, that's Cal Jr.
798
00:31:13.750 --> 00:31:15.958
I'm Cal Sr. You're visualizing my son.
799
00:31:16.041 --> 00:31:17.958
He's standing next to your grave.
800
00:31:18.541 --> 00:31:20.958
-What? I'm dead?
-Mm-hmm.
801
00:31:21.541 --> 00:31:24.791
[stammers] Yeah, you can live. Just don't
get on a plane in the next five months.
802
00:31:24.875 --> 00:31:27.666
Well, we're on an island.
How am I supposed to get back to Portland?
803
00:31:27.750 --> 00:31:29.958
Get on my plane.
I'm gonna live a long, long, long time.
804
00:31:30.041 --> 00:31:32.791
-Excuse me. Hey. Can I steal her?
-That's my boyfriend.
805
00:31:32.875 --> 00:31:35.250
[laughs]
You're fucked, dude.
806
00:31:35.333 --> 00:31:37.250
What happened to being
cool, calm, and collected?
807
00:31:37.333 --> 00:31:39.166
-Hey. Missy.
-Ooh, yeah. Gimme.
808
00:31:39.250 --> 00:31:41.458
So, uh, who do you see
winning the Super Bowl this year?
809
00:31:41.541 --> 00:31:42.791
I'll be right with you, One Leg.
810
00:31:42.875 --> 00:31:44.083
[man gasps]
"One Leg"?
811
00:31:44.583 --> 00:31:47.666
You're gonna lose a leg in ten years
in a horrific motorcycle accident.
812
00:31:47.750 --> 00:31:49.583
-What?
-The authorities will find it.
813
00:31:50.083 --> 00:31:52.083
They'll put it on backwards.
You're gonna be fucked.
814
00:31:52.166 --> 00:31:55.000
You know what, Titone?
Sorry. Crystal ball's shut down.
815
00:31:55.791 --> 00:31:56.625
Woo!
816
00:31:56.916 --> 00:31:59.125
-[slurps]
-How many of those have you had?
817
00:32:11.125 --> 00:32:11.958
Two.
818
00:32:12.041 --> 00:32:13.958
Wrong. I think it's time we hit the road.
819
00:32:14.041 --> 00:32:15.333
-[music starts]
-Ooh, the show!
820
00:32:15.416 --> 00:32:16.583
-Hold this.
-Not holding your--
821
00:32:16.666 --> 00:32:18.500
-Don't be a bitch, Tim.
-[Tim groans]
822
00:32:18.583 --> 00:32:20.000
[Missy]
Wait for me!
823
00:32:20.750 --> 00:32:22.791
Cough it up, Morris.
Who's the runaway train?
824
00:32:22.875 --> 00:32:25.833
'Cause that is definitely not
the beauty queen I saw on your computer.
825
00:32:26.416 --> 00:32:29.208
[Tim] No, that's her.
You just saw a bad picture.
826
00:32:29.291 --> 00:32:31.250
[scoffs] Don't worry, Morris.
827
00:32:31.333 --> 00:32:32.708
Your secret's safe with me.
828
00:32:36.416 --> 00:32:37.666
["Champagne" plays]
829
00:32:37.750 --> 00:32:38.583
♪ I feel sexy ♪
830
00:32:38.666 --> 00:32:39.875
♪ On my champagne ♪
831
00:32:40.208 --> 00:32:41.416
♪ All over my champagne ♪
832
00:32:41.791 --> 00:32:44.375
-♪ Purple lipstick all over my champagne ♪
-♪ On my champagne ♪
833
00:32:44.458 --> 00:32:46.500
♪ We can get it crackin'
We can do the damn thang ♪
834
00:32:46.583 --> 00:32:48.916
♪ I show up on the scene
In that envy money green ♪
835
00:32:49.000 --> 00:32:52.000
♪ Shorty steady hatin'
'Cause I'm in they boyfriends' dreams ♪
836
00:32:52.083 --> 00:32:54.416
♪ They be talkin' hair and shit
Bitch, I'm about that green ♪
837
00:32:54.500 --> 00:32:57.083
♪ So they see my by the bar
And they know money ain't a thing ♪
838
00:32:57.666 --> 00:32:59.708
♪ Bitch, brake
And best watch what you say ♪
839
00:32:59.791 --> 00:33:02.166
♪ 'Cause we came here to party hard
And there's no other way ♪
840
00:33:02.250 --> 00:33:05.000
♪ Mink coats, no coat check
Kush we smokin' ♪
841
00:33:05.083 --> 00:33:07.708
♪ Bitch, get out my way
Can't you see I'm trying to pose? ♪
842
00:33:07.791 --> 00:33:10.541
-♪ Red lipstick all over my champagne ♪
-♪ On my champagne ♪
843
00:33:10.625 --> 00:33:13.250
-♪ Pink lipstick all over my champagne ♪
-♪ On my champagne ♪
844
00:33:13.333 --> 00:33:15.458
♪ Purple lipstick all over my champagne ♪
845
00:33:15.541 --> 00:33:18.208
♪ We can get it crackin'
We can do the damn thang ♪
846
00:33:18.291 --> 00:33:20.750
-♪ Red lipstick all over my champagne ♪
-♪ On my champagne ♪
847
00:33:20.833 --> 00:33:23.500
-♪ Pink lipstick all over my champagne ♪
-♪ On my champagne ♪
848
00:33:23.583 --> 00:33:26.083
-♪ Purple lipstick all over my champagne ♪
-♪ On my champagne ♪
849
00:33:26.166 --> 00:33:28.875
♪ We can get it crackin'
We can do the damn thang ♪
850
00:33:28.958 --> 00:33:30.041
[song ends]
851
00:33:30.125 --> 00:33:31.083
[Missy groans]
852
00:33:32.125 --> 00:33:34.541
Where's my Tropical Itch?
853
00:33:35.125 --> 00:33:39.000
I got itchy from my bitchy,
witchy, skitchy, kitchy-koo.
854
00:33:39.083 --> 00:33:42.291
And it's Mrs. Morris. Keep it comin'.
855
00:33:42.875 --> 00:33:44.625
Missy, you sure know
how to shake up a party.
856
00:33:44.708 --> 00:33:45.541
Mmm. Thanks.
857
00:33:45.625 --> 00:33:47.958
By the way, I'm Jess.
You probably heard of me.
858
00:33:48.541 --> 00:33:49.958
They call me "The Barracuda."
859
00:33:51.583 --> 00:33:54.583
Ho! Let's see Evander Holyfield
make that shot, huh?
860
00:33:54.666 --> 00:33:57.208
-[Winstone chuckles]
-[laughs] Not with those brick hands.
861
00:33:57.291 --> 00:33:59.458
You know, he still calls
every once in a while.
862
00:33:59.541 --> 00:34:01.125
Just to check in with my wife.
863
00:34:01.208 --> 00:34:03.750
I'll play you some voicemails
that'll blow your mind.
864
00:34:03.833 --> 00:34:06.750
-Just desperate. Horny.
-[laughs]
865
00:34:07.333 --> 00:34:09.916
-Says a lot about your wife, huh?
-Yeah, she's a gorgeous woman.
866
00:34:10.000 --> 00:34:12.083
I'm damn proud of what she's accomplished.
867
00:34:12.166 --> 00:34:15.000
There's not many people can say
they've put Evander Holyfield on his back.
868
00:34:15.083 --> 00:34:16.166
[laughs]
869
00:34:17.541 --> 00:34:20.500
Yo, Morris. Your date's
about to jump off a fucking cliff.
870
00:34:22.083 --> 00:34:22.916
What?
871
00:34:26.500 --> 00:34:28.375
[crowd] Go, go, go!
872
00:34:28.458 --> 00:34:31.375
Hey! What are you doing?
Missy, what the hell's going on?
873
00:34:31.458 --> 00:34:33.958
What? I'm about to do a triple backflip.
They're begging for it.
874
00:34:34.041 --> 00:34:36.291
I mean, what the hell are you doing
jumping off of a cliff?
875
00:34:36.375 --> 00:34:39.583
Well, I told that Barracuda bitch
I was the star diver of my college.
876
00:34:39.666 --> 00:34:41.875
-Why would you say that?
-'Cause you told her
877
00:34:41.958 --> 00:34:44.041
I was a two-sport collegiate athlete.
878
00:34:44.666 --> 00:34:47.958
I thought I was safe because I didn't see
any diving boards in sight, but...
879
00:34:48.041 --> 00:34:49.750
Uh-oh. Uh. [laughs]
880
00:34:49.833 --> 00:34:52.416
Okay, well, I'm not letting you jump,
right? I don't want you dying.
881
00:34:52.500 --> 00:34:55.291
Look how much he cares about me,
everybody. He loves me.
882
00:34:55.375 --> 00:34:59.000
-Guys, show's over. No one's diving today.
-[screaming] I love you, Tim Morris!
883
00:34:59.083 --> 00:35:00.166
-Whoa!
-[thuds]
884
00:35:00.250 --> 00:35:01.083
[Tim]
Shit!
885
00:35:01.625 --> 00:35:03.208
-Shit! Oh, my God!
-[Missy screams]
886
00:35:03.791 --> 00:35:04.833
-[screams]
-[all exclaim]
887
00:35:04.916 --> 00:35:06.791
[Missy]
Jesus! Fuck! [grunts]
888
00:35:07.416 --> 00:35:08.958
[screams] [grunts]
889
00:35:09.041 --> 00:35:11.208
-Oh, fuck!
-Oh, my God!
890
00:35:12.916 --> 00:35:16.291
Don't think I've ever seen
anyone dive in the ocean... and miss.
891
00:35:16.875 --> 00:35:17.916
[groans]
892
00:35:18.000 --> 00:35:19.083
[laughs]
893
00:35:19.583 --> 00:35:21.291
She's alive!
894
00:35:22.375 --> 00:35:23.375
-[Missy groans]
-Damn it!
895
00:35:23.458 --> 00:35:25.750
[Missy]
Don't fuck with the Hellstar!
896
00:35:26.333 --> 00:35:28.291
Please tell me
somebody got that on video--
897
00:35:32.500 --> 00:35:34.166
["Nightmares" playing]
898
00:35:39.958 --> 00:35:42.041
Real life of the party.
899
00:35:43.500 --> 00:35:44.750
[Tim grunts]
900
00:35:47.000 --> 00:35:47.875
[groans]
901
00:35:48.875 --> 00:35:49.791
[exhales]
902
00:35:51.458 --> 00:35:52.750
♪ Oh... ♪
903
00:35:54.083 --> 00:35:55.375
[sighs]
904
00:35:56.541 --> 00:35:57.375
Nope.
905
00:35:59.750 --> 00:36:01.500
Mmm. Dog pills.
906
00:36:06.458 --> 00:36:07.833
[woman moaning]
907
00:36:07.916 --> 00:36:09.166
[woman] You're my man.
908
00:36:09.250 --> 00:36:11.041
You're the only man for me.
909
00:36:11.125 --> 00:36:14.166
[grunts] I miss you so much.
I want you so bad.
910
00:36:14.250 --> 00:36:16.583
You dirty little dog, you bury that bone.
911
00:36:16.666 --> 00:36:18.625
-Huh?
-Oh, you bury it.
912
00:36:18.708 --> 00:36:19.833
-Yeah, you bury it!
-Ow!
913
00:36:19.916 --> 00:36:21.541
-You bury it!
-Aah!
914
00:36:21.625 --> 00:36:24.166
-[screaming] You bury it!
-Oh!
915
00:36:24.250 --> 00:36:25.125
[choking sounds]
916
00:36:25.208 --> 00:36:26.416
-Missy?
-[panting]
917
00:36:26.500 --> 00:36:29.083
-What are we doing?!
-Um, having sex?
918
00:36:29.416 --> 00:36:31.458
You kept jamming
your little morning wood into my back
919
00:36:31.541 --> 00:36:33.375
and saying, "Oh, I want you so bad."
920
00:36:33.458 --> 00:36:34.375
[laughs]
921
00:36:34.458 --> 00:36:36.833
Oh, you're fuckfacing me,
aren't you? Cool!
922
00:36:36.916 --> 00:36:38.833
-No, no, I'm not! No.
-Yes, you are!
923
00:36:38.916 --> 00:36:41.166
Yeah, it's okay.
I'm doing it to you, too, Simon Cowell.
924
00:36:41.250 --> 00:36:43.875
Now close your eyes
and tell me I suck at singing!
925
00:36:43.958 --> 00:36:44.958
[screaming]
926
00:36:45.041 --> 00:36:46.375
You're going to Hollywood!
927
00:36:47.125 --> 00:36:48.958
[rooster crows]
928
00:36:49.041 --> 00:36:50.125
[Tim] I'm coming now.
929
00:36:50.208 --> 00:36:51.500
-[spits]
-[Nate] Where's Godzilla?
930
00:36:51.583 --> 00:36:54.041
-She's sleeping.
-Oh, my God! You fucked her, didn't you?
931
00:36:54.125 --> 00:36:55.500
-No, I didn't.
-You sound defensive.
932
00:36:55.583 --> 00:36:57.583
-Nate, I did not.
-Did you stand on a phone book?
933
00:36:57.666 --> 00:36:58.708
I didn't fuck her, I swear.
934
00:36:58.791 --> 00:37:00.833
-Swear on your grandma's life?
-Fine. She fucked me.
935
00:37:00.916 --> 00:37:02.333
-See you soon.
-I knew it, you sick--
936
00:37:02.416 --> 00:37:03.500
[disconnects call]
937
00:37:03.583 --> 00:37:06.041
[Missy snoring loudly]
938
00:37:09.500 --> 00:37:11.500
[snoring continues]
939
00:37:31.166 --> 00:37:34.291
[Winstone] Welcome
to Mr. Winstone's version of Shark Tank!
940
00:37:34.375 --> 00:37:36.416
-[man] Yeah!
-[crowd applauding]
941
00:37:39.083 --> 00:37:40.125
I don't want coffee.
942
00:37:41.125 --> 00:37:43.375
Now, this is the real shark tank.
943
00:37:43.458 --> 00:37:47.208
There's no lights, no cameras,
but one whole hell of a lot more action.
944
00:37:47.833 --> 00:37:51.708
Because, you see, here, instead of facing
Mark Cuban or Mr. Wonderful,
945
00:37:51.791 --> 00:37:54.291
you'll be facing actual sharks,
946
00:37:54.375 --> 00:37:58.666
which my new friend Komante here tells me
are known all too well in these waters.
947
00:37:58.750 --> 00:37:59.583
Komante?
948
00:38:03.666 --> 00:38:06.041
There's sharks
all over this goddamn place.
949
00:38:07.041 --> 00:38:08.833
Komante, uh, what happened
to your fingers?
950
00:38:09.416 --> 00:38:10.250
I...
951
00:38:11.041 --> 00:38:12.333
[exhaling]
952
00:38:14.125 --> 00:38:15.083
Huh.
953
00:38:15.166 --> 00:38:16.250
-Oh, my God.
-[Winstone laughs]
954
00:38:16.333 --> 00:38:20.333
I warned you there'd be no weak-ass
trust fall kind of crap this weekend.
955
00:38:20.416 --> 00:38:22.291
And so, without further ado,
956
00:38:22.875 --> 00:38:24.291
what do you say we set sail?
957
00:38:24.375 --> 00:38:25.333
-Woo!
-Let's do it!
958
00:38:25.416 --> 00:38:26.625
[crowd applauding]
959
00:38:27.208 --> 00:38:28.708
Let's go fuck up some sharks.
960
00:38:28.791 --> 00:38:30.041
[laughs]
961
00:38:30.125 --> 00:38:30.958
[Winstone laughs]
962
00:38:31.041 --> 00:38:32.333
[Missy] Timmy!
963
00:38:33.250 --> 00:38:34.500
Don't take off!
964
00:38:35.250 --> 00:38:36.166
Oh, shit.
965
00:38:36.250 --> 00:38:37.208
Go, go.
966
00:38:37.291 --> 00:38:39.083
I'm coming, Timmy!
967
00:38:39.166 --> 00:38:40.416
Go, go, go, go, go!
968
00:38:40.500 --> 00:38:41.833
Oh, shit. Let's go.
969
00:38:41.916 --> 00:38:43.583
-Hey, help me with the rope.
-[Missy] Tim!
970
00:38:43.666 --> 00:38:46.250
Thank you. We gotta get going.
Come on! What are we doing?
971
00:38:46.333 --> 00:38:47.916
Let's go on this piece of shit.
972
00:38:48.000 --> 00:38:50.291
-Go! Hustle! Go!
-I'm coming!
973
00:38:50.375 --> 00:38:51.416
[Tim] She's catching up.
974
00:38:51.500 --> 00:38:52.916
You fucking cheetah. My God.
975
00:38:53.000 --> 00:38:54.375
Hold the fucking boat!
976
00:38:54.958 --> 00:38:57.500
-Shit.
-I love you, Tim Morris!
977
00:39:21.708 --> 00:39:22.750
[panting]
978
00:39:23.416 --> 00:39:24.458
Oh, shit.
979
00:39:24.541 --> 00:39:26.875
[grunting]
980
00:39:26.958 --> 00:39:29.333
There she is. [laughing] Hey...
981
00:39:29.416 --> 00:39:30.250
[spits]
982
00:39:31.458 --> 00:39:33.833
[in evil voice]
You can't stop the Hellstar!
983
00:39:33.916 --> 00:39:35.041
[Tim] No, no.
984
00:39:35.125 --> 00:39:37.166
[laughs] There's my baby.
985
00:39:37.250 --> 00:39:39.500
Oh, my God! You made it.
986
00:39:40.083 --> 00:39:40.916
Yeah, I did.
987
00:39:41.000 --> 00:39:42.375
-Let's join the party.
-Hey.
988
00:39:45.708 --> 00:39:47.166
[dramatic music plays]
989
00:39:50.000 --> 00:39:51.791
[Winstone]
Well, Stuart, any sharks?
990
00:39:51.875 --> 00:39:55.416
Unfortunately not, sir.
But I think I saw some salmon.
991
00:39:55.500 --> 00:39:56.500
Salmon?
992
00:39:56.833 --> 00:39:57.666
Jesus!
993
00:39:58.458 --> 00:40:00.708
All right, that's it. I'm going back down.
994
00:40:00.791 --> 00:40:04.208
We don't head back to the hotel
until we see at least one goddamn shark.
995
00:40:05.083 --> 00:40:06.416
Ted!
996
00:40:06.500 --> 00:40:07.708
You and me. Let's go.
997
00:40:07.791 --> 00:40:10.833
It's Tim, sir, but, uh... you know what?
I probably shouldn't right now.
998
00:40:10.916 --> 00:40:13.166
Why not? You haven't even been
in the water yet.
999
00:40:13.250 --> 00:40:15.416
-[man laughs]
-You're not chicken shit, are you?
1000
00:40:15.500 --> 00:40:17.208
[laughs] No.
1001
00:40:17.291 --> 00:40:19.458
Definitely not chicken shit.
No, never chicken shit.
1002
00:40:19.541 --> 00:40:22.375
-Well, then, what's the matter?
-It's actually, it's... It's more Missy.
1003
00:40:22.458 --> 00:40:25.083
She's uh... She suffers
from severe seasickness.
1004
00:40:25.166 --> 00:40:26.375
No, I don't.
1005
00:40:26.458 --> 00:40:29.375
Yes, you do. You...
And you just got over that jet lag.
1006
00:40:29.458 --> 00:40:31.166
-But I want to go down there. Seems fun.
-No.
1007
00:40:31.250 --> 00:40:33.166
But, you know, anyone can do it.
I won't get mad.
1008
00:40:33.250 --> 00:40:35.916
-You can go. You can go. I'll go last.
-Tim, you need to go.
1009
00:40:36.458 --> 00:40:37.291
[whispers] Do it.
1010
00:40:37.375 --> 00:40:40.916
I don't need to go. And you're not
fucking fine, remember?
1011
00:40:41.000 --> 00:40:44.166
You're not fucking fine,
and I need to be with you.
1012
00:40:44.250 --> 00:40:46.125
No, you fucking don't!
1013
00:40:46.625 --> 00:40:49.916
Go! Before I bitch-slap you
in front of all these motherfuckers.
1014
00:40:51.416 --> 00:40:52.250
We were...
1015
00:40:52.333 --> 00:40:54.250
-We were goofing around on my end.
-Go.
1016
00:40:59.916 --> 00:41:01.791
Are you sure you should be doing this?
1017
00:41:03.125 --> 00:41:04.166
Oh. [chuckles]
1018
00:41:04.791 --> 00:41:06.416
Uh, sure, I'm sure.
1019
00:41:07.000 --> 00:41:08.083
I ain't "scurred."
1020
00:41:09.958 --> 00:41:10.916
No, I'm cool.
1021
00:41:11.000 --> 00:41:11.833
Cool.
1022
00:41:13.208 --> 00:41:14.875
But as we both know,
you're claustrophobic.
1023
00:41:14.958 --> 00:41:18.416
Can't imagine anything more claustrophobic
than being confined to a cage.
1024
00:41:19.125 --> 00:41:20.041
Yeah.
1025
00:41:20.125 --> 00:41:21.875
I know this is
a really big weekend for you,
1026
00:41:21.958 --> 00:41:23.666
and you've worked so hard
for this promotion.
1027
00:41:23.750 --> 00:41:27.166
I just don't know that this is the best
opportunity to impress your boss.
1028
00:41:27.833 --> 00:41:28.833
Tim, I just...
1029
00:41:29.625 --> 00:41:32.458
-I would never want you to--
-[Winstone] Let's go! Daylight's burning.
1030
00:41:32.541 --> 00:41:34.916
We're not gonna see any Great Whites
up on the fucking deck.
1031
00:41:35.000 --> 00:41:36.125
[Tim] Ah...
1032
00:41:40.000 --> 00:41:41.500
That's what I'm talking about!
1033
00:41:41.791 --> 00:41:43.166
Let's get this wussy wet.
1034
00:41:43.250 --> 00:41:44.666
[laughs]
1035
00:41:45.416 --> 00:41:46.958
[sucks air]
1036
00:41:48.375 --> 00:41:49.500
[sucks air]
1037
00:41:49.583 --> 00:41:54.000
[expelling air]
1038
00:41:54.791 --> 00:41:55.625
It's okay.
1039
00:41:55.708 --> 00:41:57.125
[sucks air]
1040
00:41:57.208 --> 00:41:59.458
-You're good. Go ahead, grab it.
-Put that in my mouth now?
1041
00:41:59.541 --> 00:42:01.916
-Yeah, it goes right in your mouth.
-Yeah, Ted!
1042
00:42:02.875 --> 00:42:03.958
Hey.
1043
00:42:04.333 --> 00:42:06.416
If you see the shark that did this to me,
1044
00:42:07.208 --> 00:42:08.250
you tell him,
1045
00:42:08.708 --> 00:42:09.625
from me...
1046
00:42:10.458 --> 00:42:11.750
"Wassup?
1047
00:42:11.833 --> 00:42:13.625
Wassup, baby?"
1048
00:42:13.708 --> 00:42:16.000
Excuse me. I gotta take this. Wassup?
1049
00:42:21.541 --> 00:42:22.375
[muffled grunt]
1050
00:42:25.250 --> 00:42:27.250
[muffled grunts]
1051
00:42:30.541 --> 00:42:31.791
[muffled grunts]
1052
00:42:32.166 --> 00:42:33.083
[muffled scream]
1053
00:42:33.166 --> 00:42:34.250
[muffled groan]
1054
00:42:34.666 --> 00:42:36.125
[muffled groans]
1055
00:42:36.208 --> 00:42:37.291
[muffled grunt]
1056
00:42:38.166 --> 00:42:39.625
[toilet flushes]
1057
00:42:53.583 --> 00:42:54.416
[squeals]
1058
00:42:58.000 --> 00:43:00.541
[humming]
1059
00:43:02.166 --> 00:43:03.166
Oh, hey, what is that?
1060
00:43:04.041 --> 00:43:05.000
Is that chum?
1061
00:43:05.750 --> 00:43:07.333
It says "No chum."
1062
00:43:07.416 --> 00:43:08.625
It's illegal!
1063
00:43:08.708 --> 00:43:10.083
Okay. Well, there's no sharks,
1064
00:43:10.166 --> 00:43:11.833
so I'm trying to make it
a little more fun.
1065
00:43:11.916 --> 00:43:14.625
This is supposed to be our lunch.
We're gonna eat this later.
1066
00:43:14.708 --> 00:43:15.541
It's soup!
1067
00:43:15.625 --> 00:43:17.125
What happens if sharks smell chum?
1068
00:43:17.208 --> 00:43:19.458
-They go fucking ape shit!
-[Missy] Good.
1069
00:43:19.541 --> 00:43:20.625
-Give me that!
-Hey!
1070
00:43:20.708 --> 00:43:21.916
-[grunts] Give me--
-Hey!
1071
00:43:22.000 --> 00:43:23.458
-Let go of it, man!
-Give me that!
1072
00:43:23.541 --> 00:43:24.500
[Missy]
Stop it!
1073
00:43:24.583 --> 00:43:25.583
-[grunting]
-[screams]
1074
00:43:36.541 --> 00:43:37.375
[gagging]
1075
00:43:37.458 --> 00:43:38.708
[vomits]
1076
00:43:45.625 --> 00:43:46.916
[muffled grunting]
1077
00:43:47.500 --> 00:43:49.125
[muffled grunting]
1078
00:43:49.625 --> 00:43:50.625
[vomiting]
1079
00:43:51.708 --> 00:43:54.541
[retching]
1080
00:43:57.291 --> 00:43:58.458
[chuckling] Shark!
1081
00:43:58.541 --> 00:43:59.916
-Shark! Where?
-[laughs]
1082
00:44:01.333 --> 00:44:03.958
It's what I do. I find sharks! Yes!
1083
00:44:07.791 --> 00:44:09.416
Let's fucking party.
1084
00:44:11.958 --> 00:44:13.250
[muffled screaming]
1085
00:44:13.333 --> 00:44:14.833
[muffled dialogue]
1086
00:44:14.916 --> 00:44:16.500
[muffled panicked whimpering]
1087
00:44:22.000 --> 00:44:24.333
[Tim continues whimpering]
1088
00:44:27.416 --> 00:44:30.333
[muffled screaming]
1089
00:44:34.625 --> 00:44:35.916
I don't know. I liked Free Willy.
1090
00:44:36.000 --> 00:44:37.833
Thought it was good.
I can see why you wouldn't.
1091
00:44:37.916 --> 00:44:40.500
I didn't think the whale was likable.
Got to have a likable whale.
1092
00:44:40.583 --> 00:44:43.208
I mean, otherwise, if the whale's
an asshole, who's gonna care?
1093
00:44:43.750 --> 00:44:46.625
[muffled grunts]
1094
00:44:46.708 --> 00:44:48.500
[muffled screaming]
1095
00:44:49.041 --> 00:44:50.416
[muffled] Fucking asshole!
1096
00:44:53.708 --> 00:44:54.791
[dance music playing]
1097
00:44:59.333 --> 00:45:02.666
[muffled screaming]
1098
00:45:03.333 --> 00:45:04.250
[gasps] Help!
1099
00:45:04.333 --> 00:45:05.458
Holy shit! It's in the cage.
1100
00:45:05.541 --> 00:45:07.666
-Help! It's a monster!
-[Nate] Tim!
1101
00:45:07.750 --> 00:45:09.041
[Tim]
Help!
1102
00:45:09.125 --> 00:45:09.958
Tim!
1103
00:45:10.041 --> 00:45:11.125
[grunts]
1104
00:45:12.041 --> 00:45:13.250
Fuck you!
1105
00:45:14.458 --> 00:45:17.875
[grunting]
1106
00:45:17.958 --> 00:45:20.583
You took three fingers,
but you left the nub!
1107
00:45:21.000 --> 00:45:22.708
-[gasps]
-[crowd screams]
1108
00:45:22.791 --> 00:45:24.208
[woman] Oh, my God!
1109
00:45:24.791 --> 00:45:25.708
[man] Oh, my God.
1110
00:45:26.750 --> 00:45:28.083
[Komante panting]
1111
00:45:28.166 --> 00:45:29.416
-[gasps] [screaming]
-[Nate] Tim!
1112
00:45:29.500 --> 00:45:31.166
Oh, my God!
1113
00:45:31.666 --> 00:45:33.666
-Get me out!
-[Missy] Oh, my God!
1114
00:45:33.750 --> 00:45:36.166
-[Tim panting]
-Oh, my God! Tim!
1115
00:45:36.250 --> 00:45:38.541
-I thought we lost you.
-[groans] Get her the fuck off me.
1116
00:45:38.625 --> 00:45:40.041
-Wait, wait, wait.
-[Tim coughs]
1117
00:45:40.125 --> 00:45:41.333
[Rich] Where's Winstone?
1118
00:45:44.041 --> 00:45:45.000
[screams]
1119
00:45:45.083 --> 00:45:46.916
Oh, my God! You killed him!
1120
00:45:47.000 --> 00:45:48.041
[man 1]
Get him up.
1121
00:45:48.125 --> 00:45:49.666
[man 2] You, in the back, move on back.
1122
00:45:49.750 --> 00:45:51.958
Everybody back off. I'm certified in CPR.
1123
00:45:52.750 --> 00:45:54.125
Okay, Mr. Winstone.
1124
00:45:55.291 --> 00:45:57.041
-[grunts]
-Are you sure you should do this?
1125
00:45:57.125 --> 00:45:57.958
Back off!
1126
00:46:00.041 --> 00:46:01.250
-[Missy panting]
-[spits]
1127
00:46:01.333 --> 00:46:02.791
[crowd cheering]
1128
00:46:02.875 --> 00:46:03.750
Oh!
1129
00:46:04.833 --> 00:46:05.791
-Fuck yeah!
-Thank God!
1130
00:46:07.958 --> 00:46:08.958
Do me next.
1131
00:46:10.166 --> 00:46:11.708
Any... Any pretty lady.
1132
00:46:12.333 --> 00:46:14.166
Any pretty lady. Do me.
1133
00:46:15.375 --> 00:46:17.250
It's wide open. Anybody!
1134
00:46:18.291 --> 00:46:21.791
I was just trying to create a magical
moment between you and your boss.
1135
00:46:22.125 --> 00:46:25.250
Didn't you see that sign that said,
"Absolutely no chumming"?
1136
00:46:25.333 --> 00:46:28.708
It wasn't chum. It was my throw-up
from smelling the chum.
1137
00:46:28.791 --> 00:46:30.541
What were you thinking, throwing up, then,
1138
00:46:30.625 --> 00:46:33.375
directly over the shark cage
that I was in?
1139
00:46:33.458 --> 00:46:35.500
You know, you need to take
a chill pill, okay?
1140
00:46:35.583 --> 00:46:38.833
Oh, why don't you write me a prescription?
You're a fucking doctor of 50,000 things.
1141
00:46:38.916 --> 00:46:41.125
Actually, I would never write
a prescription for something
1142
00:46:41.208 --> 00:46:42.583
if I'm not certified to do so.
1143
00:46:43.166 --> 00:46:46.291
What? I already said I'm sorry
I almost killed your boss.
1144
00:46:46.375 --> 00:46:48.500
-What more do you want?
-Not to almost kill my boss.
1145
00:46:48.583 --> 00:46:49.625
It would be a huge help.
1146
00:46:49.708 --> 00:46:50.875
Okay, you know what, Tim?
1147
00:46:50.958 --> 00:46:53.541
If you want some girl
who's just gonna sit at the hotel
1148
00:46:53.625 --> 00:46:55.166
and just be so happy every night
1149
00:46:55.250 --> 00:46:57.458
like a boring sack of potatoes
you get to fuck
1150
00:46:57.541 --> 00:46:59.583
and then she could just not talk all day,
1151
00:46:59.666 --> 00:47:01.708
well, then, you brought the wrong Missy!
1152
00:47:01.791 --> 00:47:03.000
Oh!
1153
00:47:03.083 --> 00:47:04.166
Did I... [scoffs]
1154
00:47:04.250 --> 00:47:06.083
-Where are you going?
-Oh, fuck you.
1155
00:47:06.666 --> 00:47:08.041
-[cell phone chimes]
-Jeez.
1156
00:47:10.500 --> 00:47:11.750
Oh, snap.
1157
00:47:15.541 --> 00:47:16.458
Whoa!
1158
00:47:20.458 --> 00:47:22.000
[coughs] [grunts]
1159
00:47:22.083 --> 00:47:24.791
[heaving]
1160
00:47:24.875 --> 00:47:27.750
[continues heaving]
1161
00:47:27.833 --> 00:47:29.291
[coughs]
1162
00:47:36.291 --> 00:47:37.750
[Missy] Supposedly, he's 5'7",
1163
00:47:37.833 --> 00:47:39.708
which is weird,
because his grandma is 6'1".
1164
00:47:39.791 --> 00:47:41.875
But it doesn't bother me.
I just wear flats around him.
1165
00:47:41.958 --> 00:47:43.541
[Tim]
Good God, this blab-alanche.
1166
00:47:43.625 --> 00:47:45.291
-[Missy] If we ever have kids--
-[Tim] Hey.
1167
00:47:45.375 --> 00:47:46.250
Missy.
1168
00:47:46.916 --> 00:47:48.458
-Can you come in?
-Yeah. Hi, Tim.
1169
00:47:49.500 --> 00:47:50.333
Look.
1170
00:47:51.250 --> 00:47:52.291
I know you're sorry, okay?
1171
00:47:52.375 --> 00:47:54.375
Don't degrade yourself
by begging for my forgiveness.
1172
00:47:54.458 --> 00:47:57.625
-I'm actually not.
-You gotta meet our neighbor, Barbara.
1173
00:47:57.708 --> 00:47:59.791
She and her husband
heard us going at it last night.
1174
00:47:59.875 --> 00:48:01.875
-[mumbles]
-They almost called security.
1175
00:48:01.958 --> 00:48:04.500
They thought there was a little girl
being tortured in here.
1176
00:48:05.083 --> 00:48:06.875
-You're the little girl.
-Yes, I understand.
1177
00:48:06.958 --> 00:48:08.125
Did you? Did you get that?
1178
00:48:08.208 --> 00:48:09.666
-In that scenario, yes.
-Mm-hmm.
1179
00:48:09.750 --> 00:48:10.791
I feel bad for her though.
1180
00:48:10.875 --> 00:48:12.791
She said her husband hasn't made
a noise like that
1181
00:48:12.875 --> 00:48:14.541
since their honeymoon 30 years ago.
1182
00:48:15.125 --> 00:48:18.083
So, I gave her some free tips.
[clicks tongue]
1183
00:48:18.166 --> 00:48:19.166
No, no, don't do that.
1184
00:48:19.791 --> 00:48:21.041
-Do what?
-Give tips.
1185
00:48:21.125 --> 00:48:22.250
People don't like tips.
1186
00:48:22.333 --> 00:48:23.791
-People love tips.
-No.
1187
00:48:23.875 --> 00:48:24.958
-They do.
-No.
1188
00:48:25.041 --> 00:48:26.541
-They like advice tips.
-No.
1189
00:48:26.625 --> 00:48:28.166
-Cash tips.
-No.
1190
00:48:28.250 --> 00:48:29.708
-Your dick tip.
-Hey! No. Missy.
1191
00:48:29.791 --> 00:48:31.666
-They love your dick tip.
-Missy. Missy!
1192
00:48:34.625 --> 00:48:35.791
-I'm just try--
-Your dick tip!
1193
00:48:35.875 --> 00:48:37.458
-Don't hit it right on--
-Let me touch it!
1194
00:48:37.541 --> 00:48:39.000
-You touched it.
-You're such a bitch.
1195
00:48:39.083 --> 00:48:41.000
Come on. Listen. I'm sorry.
1196
00:48:41.083 --> 00:48:42.083
-All right.
-Now...
1197
00:48:42.500 --> 00:48:44.250
I have to go meet with my team,
1198
00:48:44.333 --> 00:48:46.125
and you need to stay away.
1199
00:48:46.208 --> 00:48:47.208
-Okay?
-Aww. [meows]
1200
00:48:47.291 --> 00:48:49.791
This is a real work thing.
So, I'm not kidding.
1201
00:48:50.125 --> 00:48:51.083
It's perfect, actually.
1202
00:48:51.166 --> 00:48:54.458
Barbara and I were talking about going
to the spa and having a little girl time.
1203
00:48:56.041 --> 00:48:57.041
-Oh, yeah?
-Mm-hmm.
1204
00:48:57.666 --> 00:48:58.625
That's a good idea.
1205
00:48:58.708 --> 00:49:00.166
You should go to a spa,
1206
00:49:00.250 --> 00:49:03.333
and then maybe, you know, like canoe out
to an island and just chill,
1207
00:49:03.416 --> 00:49:05.416
like, if there's one nearby or far.
1208
00:49:05.500 --> 00:49:06.916
["Movers & Shapers" plays]
1209
00:49:07.000 --> 00:49:08.791
[Tim] All right, great rehearsal, guys,
1210
00:49:08.875 --> 00:49:12.000
but remember, we have to give
the performance of a lifetime.
1211
00:49:12.083 --> 00:49:15.333
There's gonna be a lot of eyes on us
at this talent show with Winstone,
1212
00:49:15.416 --> 00:49:17.041
so we got to bring it big time.
1213
00:49:17.125 --> 00:49:19.666
Let's go get Timmy that job!
So we can all keep ours.
1214
00:49:19.750 --> 00:49:21.916
That would be nice.
We gotta beat The Barracuda.
1215
00:49:22.000 --> 00:49:24.500
Come on, hands in. All right.
You know the drill.
1216
00:49:25.333 --> 00:49:26.916
What are we gonna do tomorrow, guys?
1217
00:49:27.000 --> 00:49:30.500
[all] Inspire! Achieve! Together!
1218
00:49:30.583 --> 00:49:31.416
I give it a B-plus.
1219
00:49:31.500 --> 00:49:33.833
Oh, my God! Look, it's the Navy fat Seals.
1220
00:49:34.333 --> 00:49:35.166
[Nate chuckles]
1221
00:49:35.250 --> 00:49:36.875
-Hit the gym, guys.
-I'm serious.
1222
00:49:36.958 --> 00:49:38.333
Tim, I'm looking out for you.
1223
00:49:38.416 --> 00:49:39.333
-All right, dude?
-Mmm.
1224
00:49:39.416 --> 00:49:41.333
When are we gonna get
the right Missy here?
1225
00:49:41.416 --> 00:49:44.416
I can't, because the wrong Missy
is still here.
1226
00:49:44.500 --> 00:49:46.208
[sighs] I was hoping you killed her.
1227
00:49:46.291 --> 00:49:49.375
No. She's at the spa.
She made fast friends with our neighbor.
1228
00:49:50.083 --> 00:49:52.958
-What neighbor?
-I don't know, the lady right next to us.
1229
00:49:53.041 --> 00:49:55.291
Please tell me her name is not Barbara.
1230
00:49:55.375 --> 00:49:57.791
I think it is. It is Barbara.
Yeah, why? Do you know her?
1231
00:49:57.875 --> 00:49:58.708
Fuck!
1232
00:49:59.375 --> 00:50:04.208
When I upgraded your suite,
I put you right next to Jack Winstone
1233
00:50:04.291 --> 00:50:05.750
and his wife...
1234
00:50:06.416 --> 00:50:07.833
[singing] Barbara!
1235
00:50:07.916 --> 00:50:08.875
Go, go, go, go!
1236
00:50:10.958 --> 00:50:11.791
[panicked cry]
1237
00:50:12.125 --> 00:50:13.333
[panting]
1238
00:50:15.000 --> 00:50:15.916
Peace out.
1239
00:50:16.791 --> 00:50:17.666
Come on!
1240
00:50:19.166 --> 00:50:20.500
Hi, everybody, I'm Nate.
1241
00:50:22.166 --> 00:50:24.375
Ugh. So pathetic.
1242
00:50:28.583 --> 00:50:30.458
Missy? Missy!
1243
00:50:31.000 --> 00:50:31.833
Missy?
1244
00:50:33.500 --> 00:50:34.333
Missy?
1245
00:50:35.333 --> 00:50:36.375
Missy?
1246
00:50:38.000 --> 00:50:39.208
[grunts] [gasps]
1247
00:50:39.291 --> 00:50:40.166
Oh, boy.
1248
00:50:40.250 --> 00:50:41.541
Wait a second.
1249
00:50:41.625 --> 00:50:42.833
You're not my wife!
1250
00:50:43.416 --> 00:50:44.291
Swish!
1251
00:50:44.375 --> 00:50:45.250
[groans]
1252
00:50:45.333 --> 00:50:46.916
Unbelievable.
1253
00:50:47.000 --> 00:50:48.291
-[door closes]
-Resume.
1254
00:50:48.958 --> 00:50:52.208
Hey, there. Did you happen to see
a tall brunette girl?
1255
00:50:52.291 --> 00:50:53.208
Her name's Missy.
1256
00:50:53.291 --> 00:50:56.083
Yeah, um, she already left.
But I hope everything's okay.
1257
00:50:56.666 --> 00:50:57.500
Why would you say that?
1258
00:50:57.583 --> 00:51:00.750
Oh, the older woman who she was with
seemed extremely emotional.
1259
00:51:00.833 --> 00:51:02.875
-[exhales]
-Nobody died, did they?
1260
00:51:02.958 --> 00:51:04.125
She's about to.
1261
00:51:04.916 --> 00:51:05.750
[door closes]
1262
00:51:07.083 --> 00:51:08.250
♪ Nom, na-nom, na-nom ♪
1263
00:51:08.333 --> 00:51:09.791
What did you do and what did you say?
1264
00:51:10.333 --> 00:51:12.416
-To who?
-Barbara, at the spa.
1265
00:51:12.500 --> 00:51:15.625
Tim, I love you more than anything,
but that's doctor-patient privilege.
1266
00:51:15.708 --> 00:51:17.333
-You're not a doctor!
-Yes, I am.
1267
00:51:17.416 --> 00:51:19.125
I'm a certified marriage counselor.
1268
00:51:19.208 --> 00:51:20.291
Of course you are.
1269
00:51:20.375 --> 00:51:23.250
Even if you were, she's not your patient.
1270
00:51:23.333 --> 00:51:24.625
Actually, she sort of is.
1271
00:51:24.708 --> 00:51:27.291
Her husband is an asshole,
but he's rich as shit.
1272
00:51:28.208 --> 00:51:30.041
She paid me in cash
and put me on retainer.
1273
00:51:30.125 --> 00:51:32.041
[squeaks] Looks like I got a client.
1274
00:51:32.125 --> 00:51:35.041
We came here for your work,
but I'm the one doing all the business.
1275
00:51:35.125 --> 00:51:35.958
Isn't that crazy?
1276
00:51:36.041 --> 00:51:37.500
Do you ever think maybe
you're the one
1277
00:51:37.583 --> 00:51:39.541
-that needs certified help?
-No.
1278
00:51:39.625 --> 00:51:41.666
The other day you told me
you were gonna jump off a bridge.
1279
00:51:41.750 --> 00:51:43.708
That's what you do
when you go bungee jumping.
1280
00:51:45.000 --> 00:51:46.416
Anybody else want to do this?
1281
00:51:46.500 --> 00:51:47.583
I'm bailing.
1282
00:51:47.666 --> 00:51:49.083
Where the fuck did the guy go?
1283
00:51:49.166 --> 00:51:50.375
You said I saved your life.
1284
00:51:50.458 --> 00:51:53.250
You might have. Do you know
how many people die bungee jumping?
1285
00:51:53.333 --> 00:51:54.583
It's extremely dangerous.
1286
00:51:54.666 --> 00:51:56.166
I got your text, and I was like,
1287
00:51:56.250 --> 00:52:00.416
"I'm not gonna do anything dangerous
ever again because I am loved by someone."
1288
00:52:01.000 --> 00:52:01.833
[Tim] Missy.
1289
00:52:03.000 --> 00:52:06.375
I need you to tell me
exactly what was said in that spa.
1290
00:52:07.208 --> 00:52:09.791
I gave Barb the remedy
for her relationship.
1291
00:52:09.875 --> 00:52:11.791
Which was...
1292
00:52:12.458 --> 00:52:15.083
Dump the sorry son of a bitch. Ah!
1293
00:52:15.166 --> 00:52:16.333
Shit!
1294
00:52:17.416 --> 00:52:18.541
Are you serious?
1295
00:52:18.625 --> 00:52:21.458
Yes, of course I'm serious.
Have I ever joked around?
1296
00:52:22.041 --> 00:52:24.083
I told her not to spend another minute
with that guy.
1297
00:52:24.166 --> 00:52:26.000
Do you have any idea
what you have done?
1298
00:52:26.083 --> 00:52:28.750
Mmm, saved someone
from a miserable marriage?
1299
00:52:28.833 --> 00:52:31.416
You broke up my boss's marriage!
1300
00:52:32.416 --> 00:52:34.250
Her husband Jack is Jack...
1301
00:52:34.333 --> 00:52:37.041
Winstone! Yes!
1302
00:52:37.125 --> 00:52:38.166
Oh, God.
1303
00:52:38.250 --> 00:52:39.916
[Winstone]
That's it. I am leaving!
1304
00:52:40.000 --> 00:52:40.833
[door slams]
1305
00:52:40.916 --> 00:52:41.958
[Tim] Shit.
1306
00:52:42.041 --> 00:52:44.791
-Oh, Mr. Winstone, Evander Holyfield--
-Shut the fuck up, Stuart.
1307
00:52:46.416 --> 00:52:48.750
Evander, he's gonna
have to call you back.
1308
00:52:51.083 --> 00:52:53.125
Oh, now it's making a lot more sense.
[chuckles]
1309
00:52:53.208 --> 00:52:55.958
No, this makes no sense,
and you need to fix it.
1310
00:53:04.333 --> 00:53:05.916
[groans]
1311
00:53:07.625 --> 00:53:08.666
Keep 'em coming.
1312
00:53:09.416 --> 00:53:11.791
They said they don't have
any grenadine left.
1313
00:53:12.166 --> 00:53:14.916
Then use fucking syrup.
I don't give a shit, Stuart.
1314
00:53:15.291 --> 00:53:16.708
Just make sure I get drunk.
1315
00:53:16.791 --> 00:53:17.625
[water splashing]
1316
00:53:21.833 --> 00:53:23.291
I am so fucked.
1317
00:53:23.375 --> 00:53:24.583
Don't worry.
1318
00:53:24.666 --> 00:53:26.083
Your girlfriend will fix it.
1319
00:53:27.750 --> 00:53:28.666
Hey, Jack.
1320
00:53:28.750 --> 00:53:30.083
You look depressed.
1321
00:53:30.750 --> 00:53:32.041
I don't want to talk about it.
1322
00:53:32.125 --> 00:53:33.375
Mmm, I'm a good listener.
1323
00:53:33.875 --> 00:53:36.208
You can tell me anything you want to
about Barbara.
1324
00:53:36.291 --> 00:53:38.666
[chuckles] Perfect.
I have a little fight with my wife,
1325
00:53:38.750 --> 00:53:40.833
and it becomes front page news
for the whole company.
1326
00:53:40.916 --> 00:53:43.041
I'd say the whole hotel,
the way you were shouting.
1327
00:53:43.125 --> 00:53:44.541
[laughs] You sounded like a psycho.
1328
00:53:44.625 --> 00:53:45.666
[chuckles]
1329
00:53:46.375 --> 00:53:47.416
[spits]
1330
00:53:48.375 --> 00:53:50.083
This tastes like fucking syrup.
1331
00:53:50.166 --> 00:53:53.166
-You said if there was no grenadine--
-I would never say anything that stupid!
1332
00:53:54.458 --> 00:53:57.458
And Stuart, take some goddamn
responsibility in your life, will you?
1333
00:53:57.541 --> 00:53:58.375
Okay.
1334
00:53:58.458 --> 00:54:00.708
Now, look, someone's been meddling
in my marriage.
1335
00:54:00.791 --> 00:54:01.875
-Mmm.
-And when I find out
1336
00:54:01.958 --> 00:54:04.666
who brainwashed my Barbara,
I'm gonna have them wiped--
1337
00:54:06.791 --> 00:54:08.541
[hisses]
1338
00:54:08.625 --> 00:54:11.125
[in evil voice]
Barbara was brainwashed by you!
1339
00:54:11.208 --> 00:54:12.666
-Oh, good Lord.
-Yeah.
1340
00:54:12.750 --> 00:54:14.166
Why are you talking that way?
1341
00:54:14.250 --> 00:54:15.333
Why? Is it scaring you?
1342
00:54:15.416 --> 00:54:17.208
Maybe you need to be scared.
1343
00:54:17.291 --> 00:54:20.125
Scared you're gonna lose
the only supportive adult relationship
1344
00:54:20.208 --> 00:54:21.083
you've ever had?
1345
00:54:21.166 --> 00:54:25.416
-All right, stop using that voice.
-Stop being a bad husband, Floppy Bags.
1346
00:54:26.166 --> 00:54:27.000
[blathers]
1347
00:54:27.083 --> 00:54:28.791
Hey! Whoa. Mr. Winstone.
1348
00:54:28.875 --> 00:54:31.208
Listen, um, Missy,
why don't we give him some space?
1349
00:54:31.291 --> 00:54:34.625
Wait just a second. How is it you know
so much about me and my marriage?
1350
00:54:34.708 --> 00:54:37.250
You're not the one who introduced her
to that psycho shrink?
1351
00:54:37.333 --> 00:54:38.166
Oh, no.
1352
00:54:38.583 --> 00:54:40.000
I am that psycho shrink.
1353
00:54:40.083 --> 00:54:43.250
You, you're the one responsible
for trying to ruin my marriage?
1354
00:54:43.333 --> 00:54:45.916
Marriage is about love.
It's about being there.
1355
00:54:46.000 --> 00:54:48.208
You need to love her.
You have to be present, Jack.
1356
00:54:50.333 --> 00:54:51.625
Oh, he can't take it!
1357
00:54:51.708 --> 00:54:53.041
He can't take it, everyone.
1358
00:54:53.125 --> 00:54:56.208
-I'm starting to like this girl.
-You stay the hell away from me.
1359
00:54:56.291 --> 00:54:58.083
Oh! [grunting]
1360
00:54:58.166 --> 00:54:59.541
-Shit!
-Oh! Oh, whoa, whoa.
1361
00:54:59.625 --> 00:55:01.041
Oh, fuck!
1362
00:55:01.666 --> 00:55:02.791
[groans] My neck.
1363
00:55:02.875 --> 00:55:03.750
Get her off me!
1364
00:55:03.833 --> 00:55:05.125
[Missy] Relax, everybody.
1365
00:55:05.208 --> 00:55:08.583
I'm a certified chiropractic practitioner,
okay? I know what I'm doing, okay?
1366
00:55:08.666 --> 00:55:10.791
Winstone, we gotta pop
this puppy back into place ASAP.
1367
00:55:10.875 --> 00:55:12.250
-No, no.
-One.
1368
00:55:12.333 --> 00:55:14.041
-Don't even think about it.
-Two.
1369
00:55:14.125 --> 00:55:15.125
Three!
1370
00:55:15.833 --> 00:55:16.666
Four!
1371
00:55:18.000 --> 00:55:20.041
-Five!
-[Winstone grunts]
1372
00:55:20.125 --> 00:55:22.208
Okay. You want to get your wife back?
1373
00:55:22.750 --> 00:55:24.291
-[groans]
-[Missy] Do you?
1374
00:55:24.875 --> 00:55:28.291
Well, if you want help, you've got
to be willing to accept the help.
1375
00:55:28.833 --> 00:55:30.666
-Yeah?
-[groans]
1376
00:55:30.750 --> 00:55:33.333
You, Barracuda's dumb husband,
pick him up, take him up to his room.
1377
00:55:33.416 --> 00:55:35.500
-Get in there, you idiot.
-Go very easy on him.
1378
00:55:35.583 --> 00:55:36.416
[groans]
1379
00:55:36.500 --> 00:55:37.583
Tim, call the front desk.
1380
00:55:37.666 --> 00:55:39.416
Tell them we need hot towels,
a bucket of ice,
1381
00:55:39.500 --> 00:55:41.708
and a tub of Vaseline
sent up to Winstone's suite.
1382
00:55:41.791 --> 00:55:43.583
I'm sorry. What... [pants]
1383
00:55:43.666 --> 00:55:44.875
I'm sorry. What happened?
1384
00:55:57.791 --> 00:55:58.666
Good morning.
1385
00:55:59.208 --> 00:56:01.000
Hey, uh, I'm gonna check out.
1386
00:56:01.083 --> 00:56:03.000
No problem. And the missus as well?
1387
00:56:03.083 --> 00:56:04.583
She's not the missus.
1388
00:56:04.666 --> 00:56:06.541
Ouch. Buyer's remorse, huh?
1389
00:56:07.166 --> 00:56:09.666
-Yeah.
-Tim, there you are!
1390
00:56:09.750 --> 00:56:10.666
Oh, fuck.
1391
00:56:10.750 --> 00:56:12.458
I've been looking all over for you.
1392
00:56:12.541 --> 00:56:14.375
What are you doing?
What's-- What's happening?
1393
00:56:15.208 --> 00:56:16.375
I'm going home.
1394
00:56:16.458 --> 00:56:19.166
I gotta get back to Portland.
I gotta start looking for a new job.
1395
00:56:19.250 --> 00:56:20.125
Just breathe, okay?
1396
00:56:20.208 --> 00:56:22.625
I spent the entire night last night
with Barbara and Winstone.
1397
00:56:22.708 --> 00:56:23.541
[groans]
1398
00:56:23.625 --> 00:56:27.750
He's a stubborn old mule,
but I gave him one very deep release.
1399
00:56:27.833 --> 00:56:30.166
You jerked off my boss
in front of his wife?
1400
00:56:31.250 --> 00:56:33.791
Emotional release. You nasty.
1401
00:56:33.875 --> 00:56:36.708
Again, I can't get into it
due to the whole doctor-patient thingie,
1402
00:56:36.791 --> 00:56:39.291
but he has a lot of demons
to work through.
1403
00:56:39.375 --> 00:56:43.458
But he also has a really good soul,
and he loves you.
1404
00:56:43.541 --> 00:56:44.416
Me?
1405
00:56:44.833 --> 00:56:46.500
Uh, no, he fucking hates me.
1406
00:56:46.583 --> 00:56:47.750
Look at me, Tim.
1407
00:56:48.375 --> 00:56:49.583
You told me to fix it,
1408
00:56:49.666 --> 00:56:50.875
and I fixed it.
1409
00:56:51.875 --> 00:56:53.291
Winstone loves you.
1410
00:56:54.250 --> 00:56:58.208
Make some noise, you corporate sluts!
1411
00:56:58.291 --> 00:57:01.083
Come on. That's what's up.
1412
00:57:01.166 --> 00:57:03.000
[imitates guitar]
1413
00:57:03.083 --> 00:57:06.875
-This guy fucking parties.
-Anyway, for our next talent show act,
1414
00:57:07.458 --> 00:57:09.625
give it up for the northeast sales team
1415
00:57:10.208 --> 00:57:11.958
led by Senior VP,
1416
00:57:12.041 --> 00:57:14.000
my dude, Tim Morris!
1417
00:57:14.083 --> 00:57:15.958
-[audience applauds]
-I love that guy!
1418
00:57:16.041 --> 00:57:17.291
[laughs]
1419
00:57:17.916 --> 00:57:18.750
Yeah.
1420
00:57:18.833 --> 00:57:20.291
Yeah. Winstone.
1421
00:57:20.375 --> 00:57:24.916
All right. The northeast sales team
is going to inspire us
1422
00:57:25.000 --> 00:57:27.541
with some shadow dancing.
1423
00:57:28.291 --> 00:57:29.416
Ooh.
1424
00:57:32.416 --> 00:57:37.250
[Nate] At C of A, we understand
financial decisors are difficult.
1425
00:57:37.333 --> 00:57:39.291
That's why we have the...
1426
00:57:41.708 --> 00:57:42.833
"Best shart"?
1427
00:57:42.916 --> 00:57:44.916
What is that, a challenge? [laughs]
1428
00:57:48.958 --> 00:57:49.791
[audience applauds]
1429
00:57:49.875 --> 00:57:51.000
It's "short."
1430
00:57:51.083 --> 00:57:53.750
[Nate] That's right.
We are the nation's best short...
1431
00:57:55.125 --> 00:57:56.583
Come on. Here it comes.
1432
00:57:56.666 --> 00:57:59.958
Termil... Best-- Best short-term loan!
Oh, that's good!
1433
00:58:00.041 --> 00:58:01.333
That's very good.
1434
00:58:01.416 --> 00:58:02.583
Keep it up, Tim!
1435
00:58:03.083 --> 00:58:04.125
[whispers] Keep going.
1436
00:58:04.625 --> 00:58:06.583
-[Nate] Oh. Ah. Fuck.
-[glass shatters]
1437
00:58:06.666 --> 00:58:08.791
Hey, Lucy, get me another Mai Tai.
1438
00:58:09.333 --> 00:58:12.000
Maybe you need cash
for a trip to see Paris.
1439
00:58:12.458 --> 00:58:14.625
Like these two lovebirds.
1440
00:58:17.291 --> 00:58:18.583
[audience applauds]
1441
00:58:20.166 --> 00:58:22.333
Aww. Isn't that sweet?
1442
00:58:24.666 --> 00:58:27.250
[Nate] Oh, this is so boring.
1443
00:58:28.375 --> 00:58:31.000
-What in the fuck is happening?
-[chuckles]
1444
00:58:31.375 --> 00:58:33.041
[Nate slurring]
Anyway, you can count on us
1445
00:58:33.125 --> 00:58:35.916
for that mortgage
for your house made of people.
1446
00:58:36.000 --> 00:58:38.333
There must be some brilliant minds
behind that curtain.
1447
00:58:38.416 --> 00:58:40.166
[Tim]
Get that thing out of my face.
1448
00:58:40.250 --> 00:58:42.666
-Oh, would you relax? I tucked it.
-[Tim gagging]
1449
00:58:42.750 --> 00:58:45.791
[Nate] It's no secret
that Credit of America is among what the--
1450
00:58:45.875 --> 00:58:47.208
-[man] Aah!
-[audience gasps]
1451
00:58:47.291 --> 00:58:49.375
No, that's part of it. That's part of it.
1452
00:58:49.791 --> 00:58:51.375
-[man groans]
-[audience applauds]
1453
00:58:52.916 --> 00:58:54.291
How did he think of that?
1454
00:58:55.833 --> 00:58:57.833
[Nate slurring]
Whatever life throws at you,
1455
00:58:57.916 --> 00:58:59.791
like tax fraud or bath salts,
1456
00:58:59.875 --> 00:59:03.291
C of A is here to help,
so you can just watch the fireworks.
1457
00:59:04.500 --> 00:59:05.500
[audience applauds]
1458
00:59:08.875 --> 00:59:11.291
Looks like someone shooting lemons
out of their ass.
1459
00:59:11.375 --> 00:59:12.541
[Cal Sr. grunts]
1460
00:59:12.625 --> 00:59:14.500
-[audience murmurs]
-[Cal Sr. grunts]
1461
00:59:14.583 --> 00:59:16.166
-[Tim] Get it!
-[Cal Sr.] I got it.
1462
00:59:16.250 --> 00:59:18.208
-[Tim] Pick it up.
-[Cal Sr.] I got it. I got it.
1463
00:59:19.250 --> 00:59:20.750
-[squirts]
-[Tim] Oh, God!
1464
00:59:20.833 --> 00:59:22.416
Oh, that's a fucking squeesh!
1465
00:59:22.500 --> 00:59:24.583
People, we're looking at great art.
1466
00:59:25.208 --> 00:59:26.041
Let's hear it!
1467
00:59:26.125 --> 00:59:27.500
[man grunts] It's so beautiful.
1468
00:59:29.125 --> 00:59:31.166
[Nate] All right,
the northeast sales team!
1469
00:59:31.250 --> 00:59:33.500
Give it up for the northeast sales team!
1470
00:59:34.291 --> 00:59:36.833
Woo! Let's hear it for Tim Morris!
1471
00:59:36.916 --> 00:59:38.250
I love that guy!
1472
00:59:39.000 --> 00:59:39.958
Well done!
1473
00:59:40.916 --> 00:59:42.875
Bravissimo.
[laughs]
1474
00:59:44.041 --> 00:59:46.291
That was amazing!
1475
00:59:46.375 --> 00:59:48.875
-All right. What did you do to him?
-Mmm, him who?
1476
00:59:48.958 --> 00:59:50.583
Winstone, that's who.
1477
00:59:50.958 --> 00:59:52.500
What happened in that room last night?
1478
00:59:52.583 --> 00:59:55.458
What did you do to make my boss
suddenly love me?
1479
00:59:55.541 --> 00:59:58.541
Hey, don't discount yourself, Tim.
You're extremely lovable.
1480
00:59:59.125 --> 01:00:01.416
-Uh-huh.
-Let's just say I left him...
1481
01:00:01.791 --> 01:00:03.041
totally hypnotized.
1482
01:00:03.125 --> 01:00:04.958
So, that's code for you did jerk him off.
1483
01:00:05.041 --> 01:00:07.291
No, I'm not gonna jerk off
your younger boss.
1484
01:00:07.833 --> 01:00:10.083
No. It's code for "I hypnotized him."
1485
01:00:10.166 --> 01:00:11.750
You hypnotized him?
1486
01:00:11.833 --> 01:00:14.708
And when I was swimming
through the depths of his soul,
1487
01:00:14.791 --> 01:00:18.875
I found the one thing
Jack has an undying love for.
1488
01:00:19.291 --> 01:00:20.125
His Nana.
1489
01:00:20.833 --> 01:00:22.708
Thus, when he sees you,
1490
01:00:23.250 --> 01:00:24.666
he sees Nana.
1491
01:00:25.083 --> 01:00:26.916
So, this guy thinks I'm his Nana?
1492
01:00:27.500 --> 01:00:28.625
You're welcome.
1493
01:00:30.083 --> 01:00:30.958
[microphone feedback]
1494
01:00:31.041 --> 01:00:32.208
[coughs]
1495
01:00:32.875 --> 01:00:33.750
What's going on?!
1496
01:00:33.833 --> 01:00:34.833
-C of A!
-[audience applauds]
1497
01:00:34.916 --> 01:00:37.375
Yeah! [shouts]
1498
01:00:37.458 --> 01:00:39.500
All right, our final act,
1499
01:00:39.583 --> 01:00:42.458
the southeast sales group
that have composed
1500
01:00:42.541 --> 01:00:46.833
a rather expen-- exprensive
musical performance
1501
01:00:46.916 --> 01:00:48.833
led by their team leader,
1502
01:00:48.916 --> 01:00:52.125
the Barracuda of Portland,
Jess Sheppard!
1503
01:00:52.208 --> 01:00:54.166
-[crowd applauds]
-[gags]
1504
01:00:54.250 --> 01:00:56.708
-[coughing]
-Yeah, I sort of hypnotized him
1505
01:00:56.791 --> 01:00:59.541
to only think negative thoughts
when he hears her name.
1506
01:01:00.083 --> 01:01:00.916
Oh.
1507
01:01:01.000 --> 01:01:04.041
["The Right Stuff" playing]
1508
01:01:09.125 --> 01:01:10.458
♪ The right staff ♪
1509
01:01:11.083 --> 01:01:13.041
♪ First Union was a great bank ♪
1510
01:01:13.125 --> 01:01:14.708
♪ C of A, first class ♪
1511
01:01:15.291 --> 01:01:17.166
♪ But now that we've united ♪
1512
01:01:17.250 --> 01:01:19.208
♪ You know we will kick ass ♪
1513
01:01:19.291 --> 01:01:21.125
♪ We got the right staff ♪
1514
01:01:21.625 --> 01:01:22.708
♪ Baby ♪
1515
01:01:23.916 --> 01:01:26.333
♪ Low interest loans will put a smile on ♪
1516
01:01:27.375 --> 01:01:28.875
♪ Jess Sheppard's got the right staff ♪
1517
01:01:28.958 --> 01:01:30.041
[retching]
1518
01:01:30.125 --> 01:01:30.958
♪ Baby ♪
1519
01:01:31.041 --> 01:01:32.291
[retches] [coughs]
1520
01:01:32.375 --> 01:01:35.208
♪ Jack Winstone is why we sing this song ♪
1521
01:01:36.708 --> 01:01:38.375
♪ For all your banking needs ♪
1522
01:01:38.458 --> 01:01:40.125
♪ We'll be there for you ♪
1523
01:01:40.208 --> 01:01:42.041
♪ She's Jess Sheppard ♪
1524
01:01:42.125 --> 01:01:43.041
[retches]
1525
01:01:43.125 --> 01:01:44.208
♪ She's so right ♪
1526
01:01:44.291 --> 01:01:45.166
[Winstone coughs]
1527
01:01:45.250 --> 01:01:48.958
♪ We all know I deserve
An office with a view ♪
1528
01:01:49.041 --> 01:01:51.708
♪ This girl's work ethic ♪
1529
01:01:52.291 --> 01:01:54.083
♪ Is out of sight ♪
1530
01:01:54.166 --> 01:01:55.625
♪ Oh, oh, oh ♪
1531
01:01:56.166 --> 01:01:57.500
♪ Oh, oh, oh ♪
1532
01:01:57.583 --> 01:01:58.583
Swish!
1533
01:01:58.666 --> 01:02:00.375
♪ Oh, oh, oh ♪
1534
01:02:00.791 --> 01:02:02.416
♪ The right staff ♪
1535
01:02:02.833 --> 01:02:04.833
One more time, Jess Sheppard!
1536
01:02:04.916 --> 01:02:05.791
[retches]
1537
01:02:06.416 --> 01:02:08.500
-[Winstone retching]
-[laughs]
1538
01:02:08.583 --> 01:02:11.625
Okay, that concludes our "shalent" show.
1539
01:02:11.708 --> 01:02:13.208
Tim clearly won, am I right?
1540
01:02:13.791 --> 01:02:15.541
-That's amazing.
-[Winstone retching]
1541
01:02:15.625 --> 01:02:16.833
But it better not be dangerous.
1542
01:02:16.916 --> 01:02:18.583
No, the second you want it to end,
1543
01:02:18.666 --> 01:02:20.958
you just say the magic phrase,
and he snaps out of it.
1544
01:02:21.541 --> 01:02:23.500
But what if someone
accidentally says it first?
1545
01:02:23.583 --> 01:02:24.583
No one's gonna say it.
1546
01:02:24.666 --> 01:02:27.333
It's "Hairy werewolf vagina
with yellow teeth and a tongue."
1547
01:02:27.416 --> 01:02:30.125
-Good God. That's what it is?
-Yeah.
1548
01:02:31.458 --> 01:02:34.958
♪ There she is, Miss A-Maryland ♪
1549
01:02:35.041 --> 01:02:36.458
-Oh, my God.
-[laughs]
1550
01:02:36.541 --> 01:02:38.291
Hey, how about our boy Tim Morris, huh?
1551
01:02:38.875 --> 01:02:40.041
I love this guy!
1552
01:02:40.125 --> 01:02:41.416
-[Tim laughs]
-[Winstone inhales]
1553
01:02:42.000 --> 01:02:43.333
[Winstone]
You make me feel safe.
1554
01:02:43.916 --> 01:02:45.000
I hope you never die.
1555
01:02:47.750 --> 01:02:49.375
But, as we all know,
1556
01:02:50.291 --> 01:02:51.625
behind every good man
1557
01:02:51.708 --> 01:02:53.208
is an even better woman.
1558
01:02:54.750 --> 01:02:56.500
You better take good care
of this little lady.
1559
01:02:56.583 --> 01:02:58.333
-[laughs]
-She's one of a kind, Tim.
1560
01:02:58.416 --> 01:02:59.625
-Aww.
-That's very true.
1561
01:02:59.708 --> 01:03:01.166
-Keep it coming.
-[both laugh]
1562
01:03:01.250 --> 01:03:02.333
[laughs]
1563
01:03:02.416 --> 01:03:03.583
Oh!
1564
01:03:04.166 --> 01:03:05.583
Wow. That's nice.
1565
01:03:05.666 --> 01:03:07.583
We'll catch you two later. See you.
1566
01:03:10.541 --> 01:03:11.708
He said my name right.
1567
01:03:11.791 --> 01:03:12.833
Mm-hmm.
1568
01:03:13.500 --> 01:03:14.375
Who are you?
1569
01:03:14.458 --> 01:03:15.875
I'm Doctor Missy,
1570
01:03:15.958 --> 01:03:19.791
and I'm prescribing you
some Hawaiian lobster nachos, Tim Morris.
1571
01:03:19.875 --> 01:03:21.333
-[Winstone] Love that guy!
-[laughs]
1572
01:03:22.291 --> 01:03:23.333
Jess Sheppard.
1573
01:03:23.416 --> 01:03:24.916
[Winstone retching]
1574
01:03:25.000 --> 01:03:25.833
Let's go.
1575
01:03:25.916 --> 01:03:27.000
♪ Come along, darling ♪
1576
01:03:27.083 --> 01:03:29.125
♪ Jump on your feet, don't lie down ♪
1577
01:03:29.208 --> 01:03:30.625
♪ 'Cause it's not easy... ♪
1578
01:03:31.208 --> 01:03:35.750
So, you're a hypnotist,
paramedic, therapist, a psychic,
1579
01:03:35.833 --> 01:03:37.666
-a sherpa, what else?
-[laughs]
1580
01:03:37.750 --> 01:03:40.041
I can do close-up magic. Hmm?
1581
01:03:40.125 --> 01:03:41.333
-Oh. They're right here.
-Okay.
1582
01:03:41.416 --> 01:03:42.625
-Ready? [laughs]
-Yeah.
1583
01:03:44.291 --> 01:03:45.625
-They're not there. [laughs]
-Oh!
1584
01:03:45.708 --> 01:03:46.708
-Gotcha!
-What the fuck?
1585
01:03:46.791 --> 01:03:48.833
-They're right here.
-Where do you learn this stuff?
1586
01:03:49.416 --> 01:03:50.458
[sighs]
1587
01:03:50.541 --> 01:03:54.125
Well, when my dad passed away,
I was... kind of lonely.
1588
01:03:54.666 --> 01:03:58.041
And, uh, somebody told me that classes
were a really good way to meet people,
1589
01:03:58.125 --> 01:04:02.083
so I signed up for a bunch of stuff
and kind of became a jack-of-all-trades.
1590
01:04:02.166 --> 01:04:03.083
-That's nice.
-Yeah.
1591
01:04:03.166 --> 01:04:05.166
Yeah, I kind of found out
the jack part on the plane.
1592
01:04:05.250 --> 01:04:07.541
Oh, yeah, yeah, that jacking.
Yeah. [laughs]
1593
01:04:07.625 --> 01:04:08.833
Yeah, no, that was self-taught.
1594
01:04:08.916 --> 01:04:10.083
-Oh, really?
-On a banana.
1595
01:04:10.166 --> 01:04:11.333
Made it peel every time.
1596
01:04:11.416 --> 01:04:12.500
-Oh!
-Yeah. [laughs]
1597
01:04:12.583 --> 01:04:14.833
With me, you should have practiced
on a string bean.
1598
01:04:14.916 --> 01:04:16.875
Yeah! [laughs]
1599
01:04:17.833 --> 01:04:18.833
[continues laughing]
1600
01:04:19.416 --> 01:04:20.958
-I was kidding.
-No, you're right!
1601
01:04:21.041 --> 01:04:22.125
-No, I was--
-[laughs]
1602
01:04:22.208 --> 01:04:24.083
That's exactly the size.
1603
01:04:24.166 --> 01:04:26.666
-The worst reaction you could've made.
-[laughing] Sorry.
1604
01:04:26.750 --> 01:04:29.583
-It's average for my height and weight.
-Yeah, okay. [laughs]
1605
01:04:29.666 --> 01:04:31.208
[both laugh]
1606
01:04:31.541 --> 01:04:33.208
-Yeah, yeah.
-[Missy] Yeah.
1607
01:04:33.833 --> 01:04:36.250
So, are you ready to tell me
why you don't drink?
1608
01:04:36.833 --> 01:04:38.125
I can tell you. I mean...
1609
01:04:38.750 --> 01:04:40.125
I'm a little crazy, too.
1610
01:04:40.208 --> 01:04:41.041
-Really?
-Yeah.
1611
01:04:41.125 --> 01:04:41.958
Okay.
1612
01:04:42.041 --> 01:04:44.083
I drink, I get drunk, and then I...
1613
01:04:44.708 --> 01:04:45.750
walk on my hands.
1614
01:04:45.833 --> 01:04:48.250
Hmm. Okay, well, that doesn't sound
too dangerous.
1615
01:04:48.333 --> 01:04:51.458
It does when you walk on your hands
off the roof of your frat house.
1616
01:04:51.541 --> 01:04:53.958
Okay, I feel like you're making shit up
right now. I'm not--
1617
01:04:54.041 --> 01:04:55.416
No, I-- Seriously, I fell 30 feet.
1618
01:04:55.500 --> 01:04:57.958
No, I'm talking about you
getting accepted into a frat.
1619
01:04:58.041 --> 01:04:59.041
-I don't--
-Oh, that. Yeah.
1620
01:04:59.125 --> 01:05:00.375
I don't believe it.
1621
01:05:00.458 --> 01:05:01.750
-That's a good burn.
-Yeah, yeah.
1622
01:05:01.833 --> 01:05:02.666
[cell phone chimes]
1623
01:05:02.750 --> 01:05:04.000
-[inhales]
-Hang on.
1624
01:05:05.708 --> 01:05:06.583
Who's that?
1625
01:05:07.250 --> 01:05:08.500
It's nobody.
1626
01:05:09.083 --> 01:05:10.708
Is it your grandma? Checking in on you?
1627
01:05:10.791 --> 01:05:12.583
Sending me some tasteful nudes.
1628
01:05:12.666 --> 01:05:14.291
[both laugh]
1629
01:05:14.375 --> 01:05:16.541
No, she's just making sure
I'm treating you right.
1630
01:05:16.625 --> 01:05:19.875
Hmm. You're gonna be
treating me right tonight.
1631
01:05:19.958 --> 01:05:21.791
So you better get your grandma
out of your mind.
1632
01:05:21.875 --> 01:05:23.666
-Uh-oh.
-[Missy] Uh-oh.
1633
01:05:23.750 --> 01:05:24.583
We gonna fuck.
1634
01:05:24.666 --> 01:05:25.875
[both laugh]
1635
01:05:25.958 --> 01:05:26.791
Okay.
1636
01:05:26.875 --> 01:05:29.041
♪ Dance the night away ♪
1637
01:05:29.125 --> 01:05:32.708
-♪ To this island reggae ♪
-♪ Come on, come on, come on, come on ♪
1638
01:05:32.791 --> 01:05:34.875
♪ And let's dance, dance, dance ♪
1639
01:05:34.958 --> 01:05:36.458
♪ Dance, dance ♪
1640
01:05:36.541 --> 01:05:39.000
I'm gonna put a hot tub
in the garage, I decided.
1641
01:05:40.916 --> 01:05:43.583
["Utu Bang Bang" playing]
1642
01:05:43.666 --> 01:05:45.083
[humming]
1643
01:05:47.500 --> 01:05:49.250
Mmm, yeah.
1644
01:05:50.458 --> 01:05:51.375
[grunts]
1645
01:05:55.500 --> 01:05:56.333
Okay.
1646
01:05:56.833 --> 01:05:58.125
-[knocking on door]
-Hmm!
1647
01:05:59.166 --> 01:06:00.000
Hmm.
1648
01:06:00.958 --> 01:06:01.791
Oh.
1649
01:06:01.875 --> 01:06:04.375
Hmm, oh! Hey, ex-lover.
1650
01:06:04.458 --> 01:06:05.791
[exhales] I'm sorry to bother you.
1651
01:06:05.875 --> 01:06:08.375
I was just, um, actually hoping
to have a quick word with Tim?
1652
01:06:08.458 --> 01:06:10.375
Uh-huh, yeah, he went to get some weed.
1653
01:06:10.458 --> 01:06:12.291
We're about to have a real fuck fest.
1654
01:06:12.375 --> 01:06:13.500
-Oh, God.
-Yeah.
1655
01:06:13.583 --> 01:06:16.458
We thought it'd be more fun to be stoned
while we eat each other.
1656
01:06:16.791 --> 01:06:20.416
Wow. Okay. Um, it's not a problem,
I'll just-- I'll talk to him another time.
1657
01:06:20.500 --> 01:06:22.208
No, no, no! He'll be back in a minute.
1658
01:06:22.291 --> 01:06:23.583
Come on in.
1659
01:06:24.041 --> 01:06:27.666
You know his old tricks. Maybe you can
give me a few pointers. [chuckles]
1660
01:06:28.750 --> 01:06:30.541
-Guess if it's just for a second.
-Yeah.
1661
01:06:30.625 --> 01:06:33.416
He's not some freak, right? Like,
I'm not gonna have to grease up his ass
1662
01:06:33.500 --> 01:06:35.333
and slide him around a hardwood floor,
am I?
1663
01:06:35.416 --> 01:06:36.583
-No.
-Okay.
1664
01:06:36.958 --> 01:06:38.750
-So, I don't have any actual bud.
-[sighs]
1665
01:06:38.833 --> 01:06:40.958
Because airport security
would've clipped me, dude.
1666
01:06:41.041 --> 01:06:44.333
So, I do have weed toothpaste.
1667
01:06:44.916 --> 01:06:45.833
Wait.
1668
01:06:45.916 --> 01:06:47.458
Weed deodorant.
1669
01:06:47.541 --> 01:06:48.666
Wait.
1670
01:06:48.916 --> 01:06:51.166
Weed chapstick. And this is the best, Tim.
1671
01:06:51.250 --> 01:06:53.541
-Weed hair-growth foam.
-[chuckles]
1672
01:06:53.625 --> 01:06:56.583
Dude, you put it on your hair.
Your hair grows as you get high as fuck.
1673
01:06:56.666 --> 01:06:58.250
[chuckles] You're so weird.
1674
01:06:58.333 --> 01:06:59.333
It works.
1675
01:06:59.958 --> 01:07:03.291
I put some on my pubes. I got the biggest
bush in the whole fucking island.
1676
01:07:03.375 --> 01:07:04.375
[chuckles]
1677
01:07:04.458 --> 01:07:06.333
-Komante's been crashing with me.
-Yeah.
1678
01:07:06.416 --> 01:07:07.583
And I'm going back with you.
1679
01:07:07.666 --> 01:07:09.958
-No, I said maybe, Komante. I said maybe.
-What?
1680
01:07:10.041 --> 01:07:11.458
-Staying with you.
-No. I said maybe.
1681
01:07:11.541 --> 01:07:13.041
-You didn't say maybe.
-I did say maybe.
1682
01:07:13.625 --> 01:07:14.708
Maybe what?
1683
01:07:14.791 --> 01:07:16.375
[sighs] Anyway, what's the deal?
1684
01:07:16.458 --> 01:07:18.958
Why are you not responding
to Miss Maryland? What are you doing?
1685
01:07:19.500 --> 01:07:21.500
I think I'm starting to like Missy.
1686
01:07:22.083 --> 01:07:22.916
What?
1687
01:07:23.000 --> 01:07:24.958
I know. I know. I-I don't know.
1688
01:07:25.041 --> 01:07:26.250
[Komante] Bang 'em both.
1689
01:07:26.833 --> 01:07:30.625
Hey, I got-- Here are some weed condoms.
Just use them. I'm not gonna use them.
1690
01:07:30.708 --> 01:07:33.166
-No, I'm good. I'll just...
-[Komante] Let me put them on you.
1691
01:07:33.250 --> 01:07:34.958
-No.
-[Komante] Let me see your dick.
1692
01:07:35.041 --> 01:07:36.250
No.
1693
01:07:36.833 --> 01:07:37.708
[Nate] Komante.
1694
01:07:38.166 --> 01:07:39.291
-Reapplying.
-[Nate] Oh, my--
1695
01:07:39.375 --> 01:07:41.666
-Read the fucking thing. It says re-apply.
-Oh, my God.
1696
01:07:41.750 --> 01:07:44.291
-You got me this fucking high. You did.
-[Nate] Komante, I--
1697
01:07:44.375 --> 01:07:46.208
He is, though. He does that!
1698
01:07:46.291 --> 01:07:47.916
-[laughs] I know!
-Did he do that with you?
1699
01:07:48.000 --> 01:07:49.916
-Every single night.
-That's what I was wondering.
1700
01:07:50.000 --> 01:07:52.208
I couldn't tell if it was new
or something-- Oh!
1701
01:07:52.291 --> 01:07:55.041
Perfect timing.
We were just talking about you. [chuckles]
1702
01:07:55.125 --> 01:07:57.625
At least now I know
what's been bothering you this whole trip.
1703
01:07:59.500 --> 01:08:00.833
How could you not be bothered
1704
01:08:00.916 --> 01:08:03.708
by a breakup with a babe like this?
I mean, seriously!
1705
01:08:03.791 --> 01:08:06.250
I see everything
you saw in this stunning woman.
1706
01:08:06.333 --> 01:08:10.000
-You have a very special lady over here.
-[purring]
1707
01:08:10.083 --> 01:08:11.083
-[laughs]
-[Missy giggles]
1708
01:08:11.166 --> 01:08:12.916
Join us. Come on.
1709
01:08:13.000 --> 01:08:13.958
Get in here!
1710
01:08:14.041 --> 01:08:15.458
[laughs] I don't know.
1711
01:08:15.541 --> 01:08:17.750
-[laughs] Okay.
-[Tim laughs]
1712
01:08:17.833 --> 01:08:19.875
Now, thanks to a little liquid courage...
1713
01:08:19.958 --> 01:08:22.666
-[Julia] Mmm.
-...our little Lady Lu here confided in me
1714
01:08:22.750 --> 01:08:26.625
that she still harbors
pretty strong feelings for you.
1715
01:08:26.708 --> 01:08:29.500
And I'm pretty sure
you have feelings for her, too.
1716
01:08:30.041 --> 01:08:32.166
Now, I'm no certified sex therapist,
1717
01:08:32.250 --> 01:08:34.000
at least not yet. Two classes left.
[laughs]
1718
01:08:34.083 --> 01:08:36.583
-[laughs]
-But from my experience,
1719
01:08:37.041 --> 01:08:40.000
I know the only way to see
if there's either a future
1720
01:08:40.083 --> 01:08:42.625
or to have absolute closure,
1721
01:08:42.708 --> 01:08:45.000
is to "ride the bus."
1722
01:08:46.833 --> 01:08:48.541
What's-- What's that, ride the bus?
1723
01:08:48.625 --> 01:08:50.416
B-U-S.
1724
01:08:50.833 --> 01:08:51.875
Breakup sex.
1725
01:08:51.958 --> 01:08:53.500
-Oh. [laughs]
-[Missy laughs] Yeah.
1726
01:08:53.583 --> 01:08:56.166
Come on, you can't tell me
you don't still have feelings for her.
1727
01:08:56.250 --> 01:08:57.541
Okay. You know what? I...
1728
01:08:58.666 --> 01:09:00.416
This is... I-I don't feel comfortable.
1729
01:09:00.500 --> 01:09:01.583
-This is weird.
-Bitch.
1730
01:09:01.666 --> 01:09:04.208
-Okay. Don't worry. It's fine.
-Missy, I'm not gonna have you...
1731
01:09:04.291 --> 01:09:07.416
wait outside the room while I have
some breakup sex with my ex.
1732
01:09:07.500 --> 01:09:10.125
I'm not going outside, you fucking moron.
1733
01:09:10.750 --> 01:09:12.125
I'm gonna fuck both of you!
1734
01:09:12.750 --> 01:09:14.083
It's about the three of us.
1735
01:09:15.166 --> 01:09:18.166
-[Tim] Oh.
-It's the only way for us
1736
01:09:18.250 --> 01:09:19.291
to move forward.
1737
01:09:20.458 --> 01:09:23.208
It's time to ride the bus, Tim.
We saved you the best seat.
1738
01:09:23.791 --> 01:09:24.666
On our faces.
1739
01:09:24.750 --> 01:09:26.458
-[laughs] Come on.
-Wha...
1740
01:09:26.541 --> 01:09:27.541
Wait, wait, wait, wait.
1741
01:09:27.625 --> 01:09:29.625
-[Tim laughs]
-Oh, did you get the weed?
1742
01:09:31.416 --> 01:09:32.250
Ish.
1743
01:09:38.250 --> 01:09:40.208
[blues cover
of "My Neck, My Back" playing]
1744
01:09:48.625 --> 01:09:51.541
♪ All you ladies
Pop your pussy like this ♪
1745
01:09:51.625 --> 01:09:54.000
♪ Shake your body
Don't stop, don't miss ♪
1746
01:09:54.083 --> 01:09:56.958
♪ All you ladies
Pop your pussy like this ♪
1747
01:09:57.041 --> 01:09:59.041
♪ Shake your body
Don't stop, don't miss ♪
1748
01:09:59.125 --> 01:10:00.750
♪ Just do it ♪
1749
01:10:00.833 --> 01:10:02.083
♪ Do it ♪
1750
01:10:02.166 --> 01:10:04.916
♪ Do it, do it, do it now ♪
1751
01:10:05.208 --> 01:10:06.125
♪ Right now ♪
1752
01:10:06.208 --> 01:10:07.458
♪ Lick it good ♪
1753
01:10:07.541 --> 01:10:09.791
♪ Suck this pussy just like you should ♪
1754
01:10:09.875 --> 01:10:12.125
♪ My neck, my back ♪
1755
01:10:12.208 --> 01:10:15.125
♪ Lick my pussy and my crack ♪
1756
01:10:15.208 --> 01:10:17.458
♪ My neck, my back ♪
1757
01:10:17.541 --> 01:10:20.541
♪ Lick my pussy and my crack ♪
1758
01:10:20.791 --> 01:10:23.666
♪ First you gotta put your neck into it ♪
1759
01:10:23.750 --> 01:10:26.000
♪ Don't stop, just do it, do it... ♪
1760
01:10:26.083 --> 01:10:26.958
[grunts]
1761
01:10:27.708 --> 01:10:28.583
Oh!
1762
01:10:29.041 --> 01:10:30.708
♪ From the crack up to the front ♪
1763
01:10:30.791 --> 01:10:34.333
♪ Then you suck it all
Till I shake and cum ♪
1764
01:10:34.416 --> 01:10:36.583
♪ Make sure I keep busting nuts... ♪
1765
01:10:36.666 --> 01:10:37.833
[grunts]
1766
01:10:37.916 --> 01:10:39.416
♪ All over your face and stuff ♪
1767
01:10:39.500 --> 01:10:41.500
♪ Got me making so much love ♪
1768
01:10:41.583 --> 01:10:43.250
♪ So lick it now ♪
1769
01:10:43.333 --> 01:10:44.458
♪ Lick it good... ♪
1770
01:10:44.541 --> 01:10:45.708
Oh! [grunts]
1771
01:10:45.791 --> 01:10:47.416
♪ Suck this pussy just like you should ♪
1772
01:10:47.500 --> 01:10:49.291
♪ Right now, lick it good ♪
1773
01:10:49.875 --> 01:10:52.000
♪ Suck this pussy just like you should ♪
1774
01:10:52.083 --> 01:10:54.375
♪ My neck, my back ♪
1775
01:10:54.458 --> 01:10:57.333
♪ Lick my pussy and my crack ♪
1776
01:10:57.416 --> 01:10:59.500
♪ My neck, my back ♪
1777
01:10:59.583 --> 01:11:03.125
♪ Lick my pussy and my crack ♪
1778
01:11:03.875 --> 01:11:04.750
[song ends]
1779
01:11:08.083 --> 01:11:08.916
[Tim laughs]
1780
01:11:09.000 --> 01:11:11.458
I still can't believe
what happened last night.
1781
01:11:11.541 --> 01:11:13.583
I don't think I really knew
what I was doing.
1782
01:11:13.666 --> 01:11:15.958
Yeah, I know. At one point,
you were dry humping the outlet.
1783
01:11:16.041 --> 01:11:17.291
-[laughs] It was dark!
-[laughs]
1784
01:11:17.375 --> 01:11:18.875
I didn't know what was happening!
1785
01:11:18.958 --> 01:11:20.291
I'm excited about this next party.
1786
01:11:20.375 --> 01:11:22.750
I know. This is the main event.
It'll be fun.
1787
01:11:23.291 --> 01:11:25.291
[Missy] I think you might be
a bit over-dressed.
1788
01:11:25.375 --> 01:11:28.541
I know people are kind of on the fence,
but the merger's gonna be huge, dude.
1789
01:11:28.625 --> 01:11:30.625
It's gonna help all of us.
We're gonna crush it.
1790
01:11:30.708 --> 01:11:32.416
It's really exciting
to see how it plays out.
1791
01:11:32.500 --> 01:11:33.333
[horn sounds]
1792
01:11:33.416 --> 01:11:34.333
What the fu--?
1793
01:11:36.250 --> 01:11:37.291
-Hmm.
-Hmm.
1794
01:11:37.916 --> 01:11:41.041
Rich, what the hell's going on here?
It's supposed to be a pig roast.
1795
01:11:41.125 --> 01:11:43.541
No, Winstone changed the whole party
last minute.
1796
01:11:43.625 --> 01:11:45.125
He said he wants everyone to get back
1797
01:11:45.208 --> 01:11:48.041
to a time before society
told you what you can and can't do.
1798
01:11:48.125 --> 01:11:50.250
That's weird. Why are you
staring at this tree, though?
1799
01:11:50.333 --> 01:11:52.583
Fucking Winstone put me in a time-out.
1800
01:11:53.166 --> 01:11:55.041
[exhales] I still got ten minutes left.
1801
01:11:55.125 --> 01:11:56.000
Carry on.
1802
01:11:56.833 --> 01:11:57.916
So, you had a part in this.
1803
01:11:58.000 --> 01:12:00.416
Winstone was so concerned
with what everyone thought about him,
1804
01:12:00.500 --> 01:12:02.333
and he wanted to think more freely.
1805
01:12:02.416 --> 01:12:06.416
So while he was hypnotized, I told him
to throw away the restraints of adulthood.
1806
01:12:06.500 --> 01:12:08.291
-Guess he ran with it.
-Mr. Morris?
1807
01:12:08.375 --> 01:12:11.208
Mr. Winstone's conducting interviews
in the ocean.
1808
01:12:11.291 --> 01:12:12.625
He would like for you to be next,
1809
01:12:12.708 --> 01:12:15.458
or he'll tell everyone
you still sleep with a nightlight.
1810
01:12:17.083 --> 01:12:18.208
Thank you, giraffe.
1811
01:12:18.291 --> 01:12:19.208
You're welcome.
1812
01:12:19.833 --> 01:12:22.416
I think we need to look
into selling asset-backed securities.
1813
01:12:22.500 --> 01:12:23.458
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
1814
01:12:23.541 --> 01:12:25.166
Uh, tell me underwater.
1815
01:12:25.250 --> 01:12:26.125
I'm sorry?
1816
01:12:26.208 --> 01:12:28.333
Tell me underwater. We're mermaids.
1817
01:12:28.416 --> 01:12:30.000
But you won't be able to understand me.
1818
01:12:30.083 --> 01:12:31.333
Of course I will.
1819
01:12:31.666 --> 01:12:32.791
We're mermaids.
1820
01:12:35.791 --> 01:12:36.958
[exhales] What?
1821
01:12:39.166 --> 01:12:41.583
[garbled dialogue]
1822
01:12:55.416 --> 01:12:56.291
So?
1823
01:12:57.250 --> 01:12:58.208
I didn't like it,
1824
01:12:58.750 --> 01:13:00.041
but thanks for coming by.
1825
01:13:00.958 --> 01:13:01.791
[sighs]
1826
01:13:03.125 --> 01:13:03.958
[grunts]
1827
01:13:04.583 --> 01:13:06.666
-How'd it go?
-Crushed it.
1828
01:13:06.750 --> 01:13:07.666
Are you sure?
1829
01:13:08.208 --> 01:13:09.333
The fish are whispering.
1830
01:13:09.416 --> 01:13:10.250
Oh!
1831
01:13:10.333 --> 01:13:11.208
[groans]
1832
01:13:11.291 --> 01:13:12.750
Shit. Sorry.
1833
01:13:13.333 --> 01:13:14.708
This fucking sucks.
1834
01:13:14.791 --> 01:13:16.625
Yeah, it's an abuse of power.
1835
01:13:16.708 --> 01:13:18.083
Come on, Tim!
1836
01:13:18.166 --> 01:13:19.666
-Gosh.
-[Winstone] Attaboy!
1837
01:13:20.166 --> 01:13:21.041
Good job!
1838
01:13:21.125 --> 01:13:22.125
Come on out here!
1839
01:13:22.208 --> 01:13:23.125
[Tim grunts]
1840
01:13:23.208 --> 01:13:24.875
That's it! Use that flipper!
1841
01:13:24.958 --> 01:13:26.500
-[Tim grunting]
-[laughs]
1842
01:13:26.583 --> 01:13:28.375
You're a beautiful mermaid, Morris.
1843
01:13:28.458 --> 01:13:30.000
-[laughs]
-[Tim] Coming!
1844
01:13:30.708 --> 01:13:33.375
[Winstone]
Swim free, my boy, swim free!
1845
01:13:33.958 --> 01:13:35.083
-Yes!
-[gasps]
1846
01:13:35.166 --> 01:13:38.166
Way to let out your inner child!
I love it!
1847
01:13:38.250 --> 01:13:39.666
[laughs]
1848
01:13:39.750 --> 01:13:41.083
Now listen, Tim,
1849
01:13:41.166 --> 01:13:44.208
I am well aware
that you want to be president of sales,
1850
01:13:44.583 --> 01:13:48.375
but I have to be honest with you,
Jess' numbers are much better than yours.
1851
01:13:48.458 --> 01:13:49.916
She's an excellent motivator,
1852
01:13:50.708 --> 01:13:53.625
and she's a pretty damn good
underwater talker.
1853
01:13:54.458 --> 01:13:57.541
But I get the feeling
that you're the type of guy
1854
01:13:57.625 --> 01:13:59.791
that would bring me soup
when I'm sick, you know?
1855
01:14:00.666 --> 01:14:01.666
Yes.
1856
01:14:01.750 --> 01:14:02.791
Sure, that's...
1857
01:14:02.875 --> 01:14:03.708
Of course.
1858
01:14:03.791 --> 01:14:06.333
Tell me stories about
how you met Grandpa after World War II.
1859
01:14:06.416 --> 01:14:07.583
[laughs] Yeah.
1860
01:14:07.666 --> 01:14:10.791
Let me eat as much chocolate as I wanted,
no matter what Mom and Dad said.
1861
01:14:11.291 --> 01:14:12.125
Y-Yeah.
1862
01:14:12.208 --> 01:14:14.458
And that's why I've decided
to go with my gut.
1863
01:14:15.333 --> 01:14:16.166
You up for it?
1864
01:14:16.250 --> 01:14:18.000
Me? Yeah! Oh, my God!
1865
01:14:18.083 --> 01:14:19.625
Come on. Give your grandson a hug!
1866
01:14:19.708 --> 01:14:21.041
-[laughs]
-Okay.
1867
01:14:21.125 --> 01:14:22.000
Ah!
1868
01:14:22.083 --> 01:14:23.458
[both laughing]
1869
01:14:26.083 --> 01:14:27.791
[both continue laughing]
1870
01:14:27.875 --> 01:14:30.583
[children's music plays in the background]
1871
01:14:34.041 --> 01:14:36.333
I don't know what witchcraft
you whipped up with Winstone,
1872
01:14:36.416 --> 01:14:38.166
but obviously, it worked.
1873
01:14:38.250 --> 01:14:39.833
Oh, good. I'm glad you noticed.
1874
01:14:39.916 --> 01:14:42.291
I'm sorry. I can't do anything
for your husband's eye, though.
1875
01:14:42.875 --> 01:14:44.250
[Jess chuckles] Yeah.
1876
01:14:44.333 --> 01:14:46.000
You're not much of a psychic, are you?
1877
01:14:47.000 --> 01:14:49.250
You don't even know
you're not supposed to be here.
1878
01:14:58.208 --> 01:15:00.208
I mean, I know he's, like,
in a trance or whatever,
1879
01:15:00.291 --> 01:15:02.416
but he felt pretty real about it.
1880
01:15:02.500 --> 01:15:04.333
Either way,
we're gonna definitely celebrate.
1881
01:15:05.041 --> 01:15:08.583
So, let me get the sand
out of places it shouldn't be,
1882
01:15:08.666 --> 01:15:10.833
and then we're going to dinner. All right?
1883
01:15:10.916 --> 01:15:13.208
And you know what,
why don't you bring your friend Hellstar?
1884
01:15:13.291 --> 01:15:14.541
She might be hungry.
1885
01:15:14.625 --> 01:15:16.541
[in evil voice] Tell her
we're gonna have dinner,
1886
01:15:16.625 --> 01:15:18.166
entree, and a dessert.
1887
01:15:18.250 --> 01:15:20.208
Because I'm Claudio of the Darkness.
1888
01:15:20.291 --> 01:15:22.375
[in normal voice] That's horrible.
I don't know how to do it.
1889
01:15:22.458 --> 01:15:25.000
You do it better. You have to teach me,
okay? It hurts my throat.
1890
01:15:28.250 --> 01:15:29.791
[shower running]
1891
01:15:31.083 --> 01:15:33.833
["Please" playing]
1892
01:15:40.750 --> 01:15:43.333
♪ I see you when I see you ♪
1893
01:15:45.458 --> 01:15:47.333
♪ It hurts to never know ♪
1894
01:15:50.500 --> 01:15:53.416
♪ 'Cause maybe you'll come running... ♪
1895
01:15:56.250 --> 01:15:57.125
Missy.
1896
01:15:57.958 --> 01:16:00.833
After dinner, do you want to see
a local band I heard about?
1897
01:16:00.916 --> 01:16:02.083
That might be fun.
1898
01:16:03.833 --> 01:16:04.708
What do you think?
1899
01:16:05.583 --> 01:16:06.416
Missy?
1900
01:16:15.375 --> 01:16:16.541
[sighs]
1901
01:16:17.250 --> 01:16:18.208
Shit.
1902
01:16:19.916 --> 01:16:20.750
Missy?
1903
01:16:22.125 --> 01:16:22.958
Missy.
1904
01:16:24.791 --> 01:16:25.625
Missy.
1905
01:16:27.833 --> 01:16:28.666
I made it!
1906
01:16:28.750 --> 01:16:30.500
Surprise! [squeals]
1907
01:16:31.750 --> 01:16:33.875
[mouthing] Fuck you!
1908
01:16:34.500 --> 01:16:35.500
[Melissa] Oh!
1909
01:16:37.916 --> 01:16:41.333
Oh, my God! It's so good to see you.
That flight took forever.
1910
01:16:41.416 --> 01:16:44.416
I'm so happy your friend Jess called me
yesterday and told me to come here.
1911
01:16:44.500 --> 01:16:46.416
It's gorgeous!
1912
01:16:47.000 --> 01:16:48.958
Want to take a starving girl to lunch?
1913
01:16:51.041 --> 01:16:53.875
That's so great.
I mean, the new president of C of A.
1914
01:16:53.958 --> 01:16:57.583
You must be over the moon.
Did they give you a big, new office?
1915
01:16:57.666 --> 01:17:00.000
Um, I... I don't know yet.
1916
01:17:00.083 --> 01:17:03.541
-Well, either way, very exciting.
-[waiter] All right, here we go.
1917
01:17:03.625 --> 01:17:06.125
A virgin piña colada
and six shots of whiskey.
1918
01:17:06.208 --> 01:17:07.083
Oh.
1919
01:17:07.166 --> 01:17:08.416
I thought you didn't drink.
1920
01:17:08.500 --> 01:17:10.583
-Oh, these aren't for me. [laughs]
-Oh.
1921
01:17:11.208 --> 01:17:12.250
Hmm.
1922
01:17:12.333 --> 01:17:13.208
What were you saying?
1923
01:17:13.916 --> 01:17:16.333
-I just, uh...
-[groans]
1924
01:17:18.250 --> 01:17:19.083
Wow.
1925
01:17:19.666 --> 01:17:22.750
-I really don't want this one.
-Yeah. I see that.
1926
01:17:23.416 --> 01:17:24.291
[shot glasses clatter]
1927
01:17:24.375 --> 01:17:25.541
Mmm.
1928
01:17:27.916 --> 01:17:28.875
Wow.
1929
01:17:29.458 --> 01:17:30.291
Are you okay?
1930
01:17:32.541 --> 01:17:34.291
Hey, do you want to see my hidden talent?
1931
01:17:35.333 --> 01:17:37.291
Okay. Yeah. Yeah, sure.
1932
01:17:37.375 --> 01:17:39.166
I need a breadstick for this. I don't.
1933
01:17:39.250 --> 01:17:40.708
All right, here we go.
1934
01:17:41.416 --> 01:17:44.750
[groans]
1935
01:17:45.291 --> 01:17:46.125
Yeah.
1936
01:17:46.208 --> 01:17:47.041
[grunts]
1937
01:17:47.291 --> 01:17:48.416
[laughs]
1938
01:17:48.875 --> 01:17:49.708
-Wow.
-[Tim grunts]
1939
01:17:50.291 --> 01:17:51.583
[grunting]
1940
01:17:51.666 --> 01:17:53.250
-[panting]
-Look at you.
1941
01:17:53.791 --> 01:17:56.333
-Walking away on your hands.
-[Tim] I'm doing it! Look!
1942
01:17:56.416 --> 01:17:57.708
-Watch the corners.
-[Tim] Oh!
1943
01:17:57.791 --> 01:17:59.416
[grunts]
[screams]
1944
01:17:59.500 --> 01:18:00.333
Oh!
1945
01:18:00.416 --> 01:18:01.916
[gasps] Tim!
1946
01:18:02.000 --> 01:18:02.833
Aah!
1947
01:18:03.625 --> 01:18:04.458
[groans]
1948
01:18:05.083 --> 01:18:05.916
Aah!
1949
01:18:06.541 --> 01:18:07.375
Aah.
1950
01:18:08.000 --> 01:18:08.916
[exhales]
1951
01:18:09.000 --> 01:18:10.291
["Elodie" playing]
1952
01:18:10.375 --> 01:18:12.958
♪ Elodie, it's been a while ♪
1953
01:18:14.833 --> 01:18:16.833
♪ Giving up on love ♪
1954
01:18:16.916 --> 01:18:18.708
♪ That's not my style ♪
1955
01:18:20.291 --> 01:18:22.333
♪ And with a heavy heart ♪
1956
01:18:22.416 --> 01:18:24.416
♪ I come back to say ♪
1957
01:18:26.833 --> 01:18:30.208
♪ I'm another man, I'm another one... ♪
1958
01:18:31.791 --> 01:18:33.791
[Melissa] Tim! Tim!
1959
01:18:33.875 --> 01:18:35.666
Tim! Are you okay?
1960
01:18:36.125 --> 01:18:36.958
Hey. Oh, it's you.
1961
01:18:37.625 --> 01:18:38.458
Hi.
1962
01:18:39.833 --> 01:18:42.625
No. You know what?
I'm not okay. Nothing's okay.
1963
01:18:42.708 --> 01:18:44.166
-Did I do something wrong?
-[chuckles]
1964
01:18:44.750 --> 01:18:45.958
No. [inhales]
1965
01:18:46.041 --> 01:18:46.875
You're perfect.
1966
01:18:46.958 --> 01:18:50.750
We read the same books.
We laugh at the same jokes.
1967
01:18:51.416 --> 01:18:52.916
We're both tens.
1968
01:18:53.000 --> 01:18:54.208
You're fucking hot.
1969
01:18:54.291 --> 01:18:56.791
But I met somebody else,
1970
01:18:56.875 --> 01:18:59.250
and she's loud,
and she's borderline psychotic.
1971
01:18:59.333 --> 01:19:02.458
She carries a knife.
But I think I'm falling in love with her.
1972
01:19:02.916 --> 01:19:04.333
I don't know, but I'm sorry.
1973
01:19:04.416 --> 01:19:06.083
Tim, it's all good.
1974
01:19:06.500 --> 01:19:08.458
I mean, we made out in a janitor's closet.
1975
01:19:08.541 --> 01:19:09.833
I think I'll be okay.
1976
01:19:09.916 --> 01:19:11.250
So where is this girl?
1977
01:19:11.333 --> 01:19:13.416
Oh, she... she took off. She...
1978
01:19:14.041 --> 01:19:15.833
She flew off. I broke her heart!
1979
01:19:15.916 --> 01:19:19.083
What? She flew back?
I was supposed to be on her flight!
1980
01:19:19.166 --> 01:19:21.416
I gotta fucking move here now? God!
1981
01:19:23.000 --> 01:19:25.500
Hey, can you pop that ankle
back into place?
1982
01:19:27.541 --> 01:19:29.000
I don't know how to do that.
1983
01:19:30.041 --> 01:19:30.916
Exactly.
1984
01:19:31.416 --> 01:19:33.208
["This Life" playing]
1985
01:19:36.916 --> 01:19:41.458
♪ Baby, I know pain
Is as natural as the rain... ♪
1986
01:19:41.541 --> 01:19:42.375
[phone chimes]
1987
01:19:43.958 --> 01:19:45.166
[phone chimes]
1988
01:19:48.208 --> 01:19:52.625
♪ Baby, I know love
Isn't what I thought it was... ♪
1989
01:19:52.708 --> 01:19:53.541
[phone chimes]
1990
01:19:53.625 --> 01:19:59.833
♪ 'Cause I've never known
A love like this before ya ♪
1991
01:20:05.041 --> 01:20:07.791
♪ Baby, I know dreams tend to crumble... ♪
1992
01:20:07.875 --> 01:20:08.750
[phone chimes]
1993
01:20:10.000 --> 01:20:14.333
♪ I just thought our dream would last
A little bit longer... ♪
1994
01:20:14.416 --> 01:20:15.291
[phone chimes]
1995
01:20:17.416 --> 01:20:21.041
[Missy on video] Live your life.
You need to quit your job, so... Okay!
1996
01:20:21.125 --> 01:20:23.833
You need to quit. Start over. Start fresh.
1997
01:20:23.916 --> 01:20:26.333
You're all little sheep. Live your life!
1998
01:20:28.416 --> 01:20:30.541
Mr. Winstone? Tim Morris is here.
1999
01:20:32.625 --> 01:20:33.958
I love that guy.
2000
01:20:36.250 --> 01:20:39.000
Well, Tim, excited about the new gig?
2001
01:20:39.083 --> 01:20:40.666
You've really been kicking ass.
2002
01:20:40.750 --> 01:20:43.291
Hairy werewolf vagina
with yellow teeth and a tongue.
2003
01:20:46.208 --> 01:20:48.500
Wait a second. You're not my Nana!
2004
01:20:49.041 --> 01:20:50.666
-Yeah.
-Get the fuck out of here.
2005
01:20:50.750 --> 01:20:52.750
I will pack up my office now.
2006
01:20:52.833 --> 01:20:54.208
♪ This life ♪
2007
01:20:57.958 --> 01:20:59.875
♪ And all its suffering ♪
2008
01:20:59.958 --> 01:21:01.000
[song ends]
2009
01:21:01.083 --> 01:21:02.625
["Tradition" playing in the background]
2010
01:21:09.833 --> 01:21:10.708 line:5%
[phone chimes]
2011
01:21:25.833 --> 01:21:26.791
Hey, what's up?
2012
01:21:27.625 --> 01:21:28.958
You're Vanilla Ice.
2013
01:21:29.041 --> 01:21:30.750
Shut the fuck up.
2014
01:21:30.833 --> 01:21:32.916
-Care to join me?
-More than anything in the world!
2015
01:21:33.000 --> 01:21:34.666
Okay. Two shots of tequila.
2016
01:21:34.750 --> 01:21:36.166
-We're gonna fucking party.
-Wow.
2017
01:21:36.250 --> 01:21:38.375
-You put some ice-ice in there?
-You put-- Yeah!
2018
01:21:38.458 --> 01:21:39.666
[both laugh]
2019
01:21:40.250 --> 01:21:42.583
Put ice-ice in it, baby! Yeah!
2020
01:21:42.666 --> 01:21:44.458
Oh, my God.
2021
01:21:44.541 --> 01:21:46.083
Wow, are we gonna fuck tonight?
2022
01:21:46.166 --> 01:21:47.208
[Vanilla Ice laughs]
2023
01:21:47.291 --> 01:21:49.000
Why are you even on a dating app?
2024
01:21:49.625 --> 01:21:50.625
Playa's gotta play.
2025
01:21:50.708 --> 01:21:51.791
[both laugh]
2026
01:21:51.875 --> 01:21:53.041
"Playa's gotta--"
2027
01:21:53.125 --> 01:21:54.666
Hey, Missy.
2028
01:21:54.750 --> 01:21:56.250
What the fuck are you doing here?
2029
01:21:56.333 --> 01:21:58.416
That was me texting you. I was the one.
2030
01:21:58.500 --> 01:22:00.750
No. It was Vanilla Ice texting me.
2031
01:22:00.833 --> 01:22:03.333
No. I was playing your joke on you.
2032
01:22:03.416 --> 01:22:05.291
Like we did when I met you.
2033
01:22:05.375 --> 01:22:06.333
No.
2034
01:22:06.583 --> 01:22:08.958
The text said black hat
and black sweatshirt,
2035
01:22:09.041 --> 01:22:10.041
not shameless wig.
2036
01:22:10.125 --> 01:22:10.958
Bye.
2037
01:22:11.583 --> 01:22:13.041
[stammers] It wasn't me.
2038
01:22:13.625 --> 01:22:15.333
It was you, Rob.
2039
01:22:15.416 --> 01:22:18.791
I wish it was,
but good luck with shrimp-stick here.
2040
01:22:20.291 --> 01:22:21.583
You're my date?
2041
01:22:22.166 --> 01:22:23.000
Yeah.
2042
01:22:24.166 --> 01:22:25.125
Fuck.
2043
01:22:25.875 --> 01:22:27.291
God, he was so hot.
2044
01:22:27.375 --> 01:22:28.750
And I'm not talking to you.
2045
01:22:28.833 --> 01:22:30.458
Wait, I just want to tell you that...
2046
01:22:31.916 --> 01:22:32.791
I miss you,
2047
01:22:32.875 --> 01:22:35.500
and-- and I'm really sorry
about what happened.
2048
01:22:35.583 --> 01:22:37.708
-Okay.
-Look, no. Let me just...
2049
01:22:38.833 --> 01:22:40.666
Can't I get a second chance?
2050
01:22:41.458 --> 01:22:42.458
I don't know, Tim.
2051
01:22:44.375 --> 01:22:47.583
Look, I don't want to be the guy
that's always serious.
2052
01:22:47.666 --> 01:22:49.250
Or letting my boss' approval
2053
01:22:49.333 --> 01:22:53.250
just overshadow everything
that should mean something in my life.
2054
01:22:53.333 --> 01:22:55.041
And that's why I quit my job today.
2055
01:22:55.125 --> 01:22:56.916
I mean, fuck, I want to travel.
2056
01:22:57.000 --> 01:23:01.166
I want to go out and... be free.
2057
01:23:01.708 --> 01:23:02.833
I want to be fun.
2058
01:23:02.916 --> 01:23:05.333
I want to be unapologetic about who I am.
2059
01:23:05.416 --> 01:23:08.291
I want to have strong opinions
about things I know nothing about.
2060
01:23:08.375 --> 01:23:10.833
I want to carry a machete. I want to...
2061
01:23:11.416 --> 01:23:12.375
[exhales]
2062
01:23:12.458 --> 01:23:13.583
I want to be like you.
2063
01:23:15.666 --> 01:23:18.458
I never meant for any of this to happen,
but I'm glad it did.
2064
01:23:19.625 --> 01:23:21.500
It's only been a couple weeks, but...
2065
01:23:22.666 --> 01:23:24.583
I don't like my life as much without you.
2066
01:23:30.916 --> 01:23:33.125
Would you accept this rose?
2067
01:23:36.166 --> 01:23:39.041
Okay, but later tonight,
I'm fuckfacing you with Vanilla.
2068
01:23:40.041 --> 01:23:42.125
Why don't we have the real thing join us?
2069
01:23:42.416 --> 01:23:44.083
Not a chance, shrimp-dick.
2070
01:23:45.708 --> 01:23:48.000
-Did he say no? Embarrassing.
-[laughs]
2071
01:23:53.666 --> 01:23:55.750
[man] I got a chai smoothie for J.J.
2072
01:23:57.333 --> 01:23:59.750
["I Can Feel It" playing]
2073
01:24:07.625 --> 01:24:09.791
♪ There's something in the air
I sense it ♪
2074
01:24:09.875 --> 01:24:12.625
♪ Like the wind, it changed directions ♪
2075
01:24:16.500 --> 01:24:18.750
♪ I can hear a storm, it's rumbling ♪
2076
01:24:18.833 --> 01:24:21.333
♪ Sounds like a freight train coming ♪
2077
01:24:24.541 --> 01:24:27.166
♪ Oh, it's a current, electric
A fire, magnetic ♪
2078
01:24:27.250 --> 01:24:29.208
♪ The city streets at night ♪
2079
01:24:29.291 --> 01:24:31.666
♪ An eruption, explosion
An earthquake, commotion ♪
2080
01:24:31.750 --> 01:24:33.416
♪ A gamma ray burst of light ♪
2081
01:24:34.291 --> 01:24:35.250
♪ I can feel it ♪
2082
01:24:37.291 --> 01:24:40.875
♪ Oh, it's like the stars aligned ♪
2083
01:24:40.958 --> 01:24:41.916
♪ I can feel it ♪
2084
01:24:46.000 --> 01:24:49.750
♪ Tonight's the night I come alive ♪
2085
01:24:49.833 --> 01:24:50.916
♪ I can feel it ♪
2086
01:24:53.166 --> 01:24:55.291
♪ It's all coming into my view ♪
2087
01:24:55.375 --> 01:24:57.916
♪ My eyes see for miles, I'm on the move ♪
2088
01:25:01.958 --> 01:25:04.208
♪ Look now, the water's raging ♪
2089
01:25:04.291 --> 01:25:06.541
♪ It feels like the tides are changing ♪
2090
01:25:09.750 --> 01:25:10.875
♪ Can you feel it? ♪
2091
01:25:12.791 --> 01:25:16.416
♪ Oh, it's like the stars aligned ♪
2092
01:25:16.500 --> 01:25:17.541
♪ I can feel it ♪
2093
01:25:21.500 --> 01:25:24.916
♪ Tonight's the night I come alive ♪
2094
01:25:25.000 --> 01:25:25.833
♪ I can feel it ♪
2095
01:25:25.916 --> 01:25:28.416
We are on the right track
to Portland, right, Komante?
2096
01:25:28.500 --> 01:25:30.458
Oh, yeah, this is definitely--
This is the route.
2097
01:25:30.541 --> 01:25:32.375
I've taken it before... I think.
2098
01:25:32.875 --> 01:25:35.791
[Cal Sr.] Well, when we left,
the GPS said we'd be there in 12 days.
2099
01:25:35.875 --> 01:25:37.875
[Komante]
Twelve days, weeks, it's all pretty good.
2100
01:25:37.958 --> 01:25:40.541
We'll be there in no time,
just right up here on the coast.
2101
01:25:40.625 --> 01:25:43.125
-[Cal Sr.] I don't see any coast.
-[Komante] What?
2102
01:25:43.208 --> 01:25:45.250
[Cal Sr.]
I don't see any... I don't see the coast.
2103
01:25:45.333 --> 01:25:48.166
[Komante] But when you see the coast,
you just make a right on the coast.
2104
01:25:48.250 --> 01:25:51.250
[Cal Sr.] I gotta tell you, I'm starting
to lose a little confidence here.
2105
01:25:51.333 --> 01:25:54.041
[Komante] Don't do that.
Maybe if you're a little more confident,
2106
01:25:54.125 --> 01:25:55.541
you'd have a little more hair.
2107
01:25:55.625 --> 01:25:57.083
I got this foam, and it really works.
2108
01:25:57.166 --> 01:25:59.250
I'm surprised you haven't noticed
my overflowing pubes.
2109
01:25:59.333 --> 01:26:01.166
-[Cal Sr.] Is that what that is?
-[Komante] Yes.
2110
01:26:01.250 --> 01:26:02.916
[Cal Sr.]
I thought you were wearing a belt.
2111
01:26:03.000 --> 01:26:06.125
[Komante] It ain't no belt. Try to pull
on it. Go ahead. It's as good as a belt.
2112
01:26:06.208 --> 01:26:08.916
[Cal Sr.] No, it's okay.
Let's just keep paddling.
2113
01:26:09.000 --> 01:26:11.208
[Komante] When the sun goes down,
you tug all you want.
2114
01:26:11.291 --> 01:26:12.958
[upbeat instrumental music playing]
2115
01:28:08.208 --> 01:28:10.041
[instrumental music plays]
2116
01:29:18.833 --> 01:29:19.875
[music ends]