1 00:00:02,000 --> 00:00:07,000 Downloaded from YTS.MX 2 00:00:08,000 --> 00:00:13,000 Official YIFY movies site: YTS.MX 3 00:00:12,083 --> 00:00:14,000 [dramatic music] 4 00:00:14,083 --> 00:00:15,000 announcer: The following 5 00:00:15,083 --> 00:00:17,041 is a presentation of HBO Sports. 6 00:00:17,125 --> 00:00:20,375 ♪ ♪ 7 00:00:23,083 --> 00:00:26,000 [sparse dramatic music] 8 00:00:26,083 --> 00:00:33,083 ♪ ♪ 9 00:00:45,291 --> 00:00:49,417 - You don't get to control how things end. 10 00:00:49,500 --> 00:00:52,083 That's just not the way life works. 11 00:00:52,166 --> 00:00:55,875 ♪ ♪ 12 00:00:55,959 --> 00:00:59,041 [dramatic piano music] 13 00:00:59,125 --> 00:01:01,542 Happily ever after? 14 00:01:01,625 --> 00:01:05,041 That shit isn't guaranteed. 15 00:01:05,125 --> 00:01:07,000 I mean, you work hard, 16 00:01:07,083 --> 00:01:08,750 you'll get some nice things coming to you... 17 00:01:08,834 --> 00:01:10,709 ♪ ♪ 18 00:01:10,792 --> 00:01:13,208 But it doesn't matter what you do. 19 00:01:13,291 --> 00:01:15,583 You can't prevent the bad stuff from coming too. 20 00:01:15,667 --> 00:01:18,709 ♪ ♪ 21 00:01:18,792 --> 00:01:20,208 For a long time, 22 00:01:20,291 --> 00:01:22,208 I don't think I knew how to handle that reality. 23 00:01:22,291 --> 00:01:24,083 ♪ ♪ 24 00:01:24,166 --> 00:01:26,250 That's where addiction came in. 25 00:01:26,333 --> 00:01:28,250 ♪ ♪ 26 00:01:28,333 --> 00:01:30,417 And honestly, I almost blew it all. 27 00:01:30,500 --> 00:01:33,625 ♪ ♪ 28 00:01:33,709 --> 00:01:36,083 To this day, I don't think people realize 29 00:01:36,166 --> 00:01:38,959 how close I came to losing everything. 30 00:01:39,041 --> 00:01:41,125 ♪ ♪ 31 00:01:41,208 --> 00:01:43,875 [cheers and applause] 32 00:01:43,959 --> 00:01:45,750 That's why I wanted to film some big parts 33 00:01:45,834 --> 00:01:49,375 of the last year of my career in 2019, 34 00:01:49,458 --> 00:01:53,375 to document the ending of that chapter in my life, 35 00:01:53,458 --> 00:01:54,500 to try and show that 36 00:01:54,583 --> 00:01:56,750 I can have my own kind of happily ever after 37 00:01:56,834 --> 00:01:59,834 after everything I went through. 38 00:01:59,917 --> 00:02:01,250 But then I kind of realized 39 00:02:01,333 --> 00:02:04,750 the end of a story doesn't mean anything 40 00:02:04,834 --> 00:02:07,417 if you don't know everything that came before it. 41 00:02:07,500 --> 00:02:08,417 ♪ ♪ 42 00:02:08,500 --> 00:02:09,917 - What a pitch. 43 00:02:10,000 --> 00:02:11,125 - Brewers win! - Yeah! 44 00:02:11,208 --> 00:02:13,250 - CC has done it! 45 00:02:13,333 --> 00:02:15,125 ♪ ♪ 46 00:02:15,208 --> 00:02:17,458 - Come on, C! - Go, C! 47 00:02:17,542 --> 00:02:19,291 - You wanna know where it all started? 48 00:02:19,375 --> 00:02:21,625 - Dig, C, dig! 49 00:02:21,709 --> 00:02:25,834 - Vallejo, California, my grandmother's backyard. 50 00:02:25,917 --> 00:02:28,625 She had this big, old grapefruit tree, 51 00:02:28,709 --> 00:02:33,000 and I'd go back there, pick up all these grapefruits, 52 00:02:33,083 --> 00:02:34,917 and throw 'em at a folding chair. 53 00:02:35,000 --> 00:02:36,792 ♪ ♪ 54 00:02:36,875 --> 00:02:39,458 The grapefruit was my baseball, 55 00:02:39,542 --> 00:02:42,458 the chair was my strike zone, 56 00:02:42,542 --> 00:02:44,959 the backyard was where I could dream 57 00:02:45,041 --> 00:02:47,208 about everything in the world I could ever want. 58 00:02:47,291 --> 00:02:49,875 ♪ ♪ 59 00:02:49,959 --> 00:02:52,500 I tell you, I never forgot what it felt like 60 00:02:52,583 --> 00:02:54,166 to be in that backyard. 61 00:02:54,250 --> 00:02:55,625 And looking back now, 62 00:02:55,709 --> 00:02:57,625 I feel like my whole journey in life 63 00:02:57,709 --> 00:03:00,208 was about getting back there: 64 00:03:00,291 --> 00:03:02,875 Getting back to that yard and that tree 65 00:03:02,959 --> 00:03:06,166 and how they made me feel. 66 00:03:06,250 --> 00:03:07,834 It wasn't easy, 67 00:03:07,917 --> 00:03:10,208 but I had to figure out a way home. 68 00:03:10,291 --> 00:03:17,291 ♪ ♪ 69 00:03:22,750 --> 00:03:26,166 [indistinct chatter] 70 00:03:26,250 --> 00:03:27,500 - Perfect. 71 00:03:27,583 --> 00:03:30,500 So let me remind you how it works. 72 00:03:30,583 --> 00:03:36,041 After Priscilla takes pictures of your heart, starts slowly 73 00:03:36,125 --> 00:03:38,625 and gets faster and steeper every three minutes. 74 00:03:40,625 --> 00:03:41,667 - All right, 75 00:03:41,750 --> 00:03:43,709 so I'm gonna have you turn over on the left side. 76 00:03:43,792 --> 00:03:46,417 Left arm up by your head. 77 00:03:46,500 --> 00:03:48,834 This arm's gonna be down by your hip. 78 00:03:48,917 --> 00:03:50,208 Gonna be a little cold. Just relax your hands. 79 00:03:50,291 --> 00:03:52,000 - Everybody has these moments in their life 80 00:03:52,083 --> 00:03:53,041 when it feels like 81 00:03:53,125 --> 00:03:55,208 you're having an out-of-body experience. 82 00:03:55,291 --> 00:03:57,917 Like, "Is this really me?" 83 00:03:58,000 --> 00:04:01,875 One of my biggest came in December of 2018 84 00:04:01,959 --> 00:04:06,542 when a doctor told me my heart was about to stop working. 85 00:04:06,625 --> 00:04:07,542 - Last set of pictures 86 00:04:07,625 --> 00:04:09,166 and then we'll start the exercise. 87 00:04:09,250 --> 00:04:11,125 - Okay. [electronic beep] 88 00:04:11,208 --> 00:04:13,709 When I first came and I we were doing this, 89 00:04:13,792 --> 00:04:15,750 it was--I was in pain. 90 00:04:15,834 --> 00:04:18,917 Like, even doing this, I was in pain. 91 00:04:19,000 --> 00:04:20,959 I didn't know what was happening 92 00:04:21,041 --> 00:04:24,333 and if I was having a heart attack or what. 93 00:04:24,417 --> 00:04:25,750 - You'll let us know how you feel, obviously. 94 00:04:25,834 --> 00:04:27,750 If you get any chest pain, let us know. 95 00:04:27,834 --> 00:04:29,250 But at the end, you'll just get tired. 96 00:04:29,333 --> 00:04:30,458 But mostly a walking test. 97 00:04:30,542 --> 00:04:32,542 At the end, maybe, you'll need to jog or anything. 98 00:04:32,625 --> 00:04:35,083 [treadmill whirring] 99 00:04:35,166 --> 00:04:36,583 - Then he threw up and then he was like, 100 00:04:36,667 --> 00:04:37,917 "Babe, I'm having a heart attack," 101 00:04:38,000 --> 00:04:39,959 and of course, I laughed. 102 00:04:40,041 --> 00:04:42,375 And I was like, "No, you're not. 103 00:04:42,458 --> 00:04:43,583 Go to bed." 104 00:04:43,667 --> 00:04:47,417 And then we flew home from California to New Jersey, 105 00:04:47,500 --> 00:04:49,917 and that next morning was really bad. 106 00:04:50,000 --> 00:04:51,583 - Remember I couldn't even walk to the gate, though. 107 00:04:51,667 --> 00:04:54,625 - Yeah, and he said again, "I'm having a heart attack," 108 00:04:54,709 --> 00:04:57,250 and again, I'm like, "Oh, it's your stomach." 109 00:04:57,333 --> 00:04:59,083 You know, "You're eating something." 110 00:04:59,166 --> 00:05:01,291 So took about four weeks 111 00:05:01,375 --> 00:05:04,041 to detect that it was actually his heart. 112 00:05:04,125 --> 00:05:07,208 [treadmill whirring] 113 00:05:07,291 --> 00:05:10,458 [indistinct chatter] 114 00:05:10,542 --> 00:05:12,041 - Come on over. 115 00:05:12,917 --> 00:05:14,667 [EKG whooshing] - Again. 116 00:05:14,750 --> 00:05:17,041 I know it's not easy. - [panting] 117 00:05:20,959 --> 00:05:22,125 Breathe in a little. 118 00:05:22,208 --> 00:05:24,834 - All right, so good news. The stress test looks normal. 119 00:05:24,917 --> 00:05:27,083 The heart looks great. 120 00:05:27,166 --> 00:05:28,166 No issues at all, 121 00:05:28,250 --> 00:05:30,667 so continuing to focus on the diet, 122 00:05:30,750 --> 00:05:32,458 the exercise, the meds, 123 00:05:32,542 --> 00:05:35,000 you should do well for a long time, all right? 124 00:05:35,083 --> 00:05:36,583 Can we get this guy a glass of water? 125 00:05:36,667 --> 00:05:38,750 [chuckling] - Yeah, right? 126 00:05:39,750 --> 00:05:41,041 - CC deciding to retire, 127 00:05:41,125 --> 00:05:42,667 I don't think it was anyone's decision. 128 00:05:42,750 --> 00:05:45,542 I think it was just we all knew it was time, 129 00:05:45,625 --> 00:05:49,000 and then when the heart situation happened, 130 00:05:49,083 --> 00:05:52,959 it was almost like it's not even up for discussion anymore. 131 00:05:53,041 --> 00:05:55,000 This is gonna be it. 132 00:05:55,083 --> 00:05:56,375 It was just understood 133 00:05:56,458 --> 00:05:58,291 that this is gonna be his last year. 134 00:05:58,375 --> 00:06:00,417 There's some milestones that he needs to hit. 135 00:06:00,500 --> 00:06:01,667 He's gonna hit 'em, 136 00:06:01,750 --> 00:06:04,125 and we're just gonna really celebrate this last season, 137 00:06:04,208 --> 00:06:06,625 season 19, as being, like, 138 00:06:06,709 --> 00:06:08,709 celebrating all that he has done. 139 00:06:08,792 --> 00:06:10,709 [soft music] 140 00:06:10,792 --> 00:06:13,625 - So yeah, the last season of my baseball career 141 00:06:13,709 --> 00:06:17,041 started out with me almost dying of a heart attack. 142 00:06:17,125 --> 00:06:18,041 - You did great. 143 00:06:18,125 --> 00:06:19,375 - Not the best omen, I guess. 144 00:06:19,458 --> 00:06:21,083 ♪ ♪ 145 00:06:21,166 --> 00:06:24,750 And by the time I made it to the finish line, 146 00:06:24,834 --> 00:06:26,458 I don't think anyone would call that 147 00:06:26,542 --> 00:06:28,083 the ideal scenario, either. 148 00:06:28,166 --> 00:06:33,542 ♪ ♪ 149 00:06:33,625 --> 00:06:36,333 - On the ground to first, and it scoots by LeMahieu. 150 00:06:36,417 --> 00:06:39,208 With nobody out and they're at the corners. 151 00:06:39,291 --> 00:06:41,875 [crowd booing] 152 00:06:41,959 --> 00:06:44,041 Here comes Aaron Boone. 153 00:06:44,125 --> 00:06:47,375 Yeah, and more boos sending Adam Ottavino to the dugouts. 154 00:06:47,458 --> 00:06:48,375 6-3, Houston. 155 00:06:48,458 --> 00:06:51,709 Threatening for more here in the 8th. 156 00:06:51,792 --> 00:06:54,709 - Coming to a playoff game out of the bullpen, 157 00:06:54,792 --> 00:06:58,625 down three runs, two guys on... 158 00:06:58,709 --> 00:07:00,917 - Super-tough spot here for CC. 159 00:07:01,000 --> 00:07:04,375 all: CC! CC! CC! 160 00:07:04,458 --> 00:07:07,583 - But like I said, life isn't always gonna go 161 00:07:07,667 --> 00:07:09,417 the way you think it's gonna go. 162 00:07:09,500 --> 00:07:11,083 ♪ ♪ 163 00:07:11,166 --> 00:07:14,625 I learned that a long, long time ago... 164 00:07:14,709 --> 00:07:16,125 kinda the hard way. 165 00:07:16,208 --> 00:07:19,125 [upbeat music] 166 00:07:19,208 --> 00:07:26,208 ♪ ♪ 167 00:07:33,583 --> 00:07:37,083 I grew up in a neighborhood in Vallejo called the Crest. 168 00:07:37,166 --> 00:07:40,000 Most people would say it's infamous, but, um, 169 00:07:40,083 --> 00:07:41,625 you know, it's where I grew up, 170 00:07:41,709 --> 00:07:44,333 and for me, it was always a safe place. 171 00:07:44,417 --> 00:07:47,333 ♪ ♪ 172 00:07:47,417 --> 00:07:49,792 You know, I had a big family. 173 00:07:49,875 --> 00:07:53,625 I had my mom and my dad. 174 00:07:53,709 --> 00:07:55,917 I'm a only child, but I have a lot of cousins 175 00:07:56,000 --> 00:07:59,500 and always felt like I had brothers and sisters around. 176 00:07:59,583 --> 00:08:01,333 Daddy, you want me to go back in? 177 00:08:01,417 --> 00:08:03,750 - Yeah, go on out there, man. Don't be scared. 178 00:08:03,834 --> 00:08:06,125 ♪ ♪ 179 00:08:06,208 --> 00:08:09,291 - The central hub of my family back then was in the Crest. 180 00:08:09,375 --> 00:08:12,959 It was my grandmother's house. It's where I grew up. 181 00:08:13,041 --> 00:08:17,917 My parents worked a lot, so that just became my home. 182 00:08:18,000 --> 00:08:20,458 That was always, like, my central place that I can go 183 00:08:20,542 --> 00:08:22,208 and I know that I can get a good meal 184 00:08:22,291 --> 00:08:26,000 and get taken care of and just feel good. 185 00:08:26,083 --> 00:08:29,000 ♪ ♪ 186 00:08:29,083 --> 00:08:31,667 [indistinct chatter] 187 00:08:31,750 --> 00:08:35,542 - Go, C, go, C, go, C! [cheering] 188 00:08:35,625 --> 00:08:37,500 Watch the ball, C, watch the ball! 189 00:08:37,583 --> 00:08:39,709 - Watch the ball, CC! [car horn honking] 190 00:08:39,792 --> 00:08:41,834 - Watch the ball, watch the ball, C! 191 00:08:41,917 --> 00:08:43,166 That's it, baby! 192 00:08:43,250 --> 00:08:44,667 - C hit three doubles. 193 00:08:44,750 --> 00:08:45,667 - Did he? - Yeah. 194 00:08:45,750 --> 00:08:48,792 He could've had a homer, but he won't run. 195 00:08:48,875 --> 00:08:54,333 - My father was a little league coach before I was born. 196 00:08:54,417 --> 00:08:57,291 My dad, you know, earlier in my life, you know, 197 00:08:57,375 --> 00:08:59,166 was never too tired to go play catch, 198 00:08:59,250 --> 00:09:03,875 was never too tired to go throw me balls so I could hit. 199 00:09:03,959 --> 00:09:07,875 - And coming out the dugout, Mr. CC Sabathia. 200 00:09:07,959 --> 00:09:09,875 Yay! 201 00:09:09,959 --> 00:09:13,041 [birds chirping] 202 00:09:13,125 --> 00:09:15,125 Dig, C, dig! 203 00:09:16,542 --> 00:09:19,083 - He put the love of sports in me 204 00:09:19,166 --> 00:09:20,542 and kind of just gave me that passion 205 00:09:20,625 --> 00:09:22,500 to go out and want to play hard. 206 00:09:22,583 --> 00:09:24,709 [uneasy music] 207 00:09:24,792 --> 00:09:27,500 - All right. - Yeah. 208 00:09:27,583 --> 00:09:32,250 ♪ ♪ 209 00:09:32,333 --> 00:09:35,667 When I was 12, my parents split up. 210 00:09:35,750 --> 00:09:39,542 ♪ ♪ 211 00:09:39,625 --> 00:09:43,083 Me and my mom moved out. 212 00:09:43,166 --> 00:09:46,917 My dad, you know, I pretty much don't see him. 213 00:09:47,000 --> 00:09:50,083 ♪ ♪ 214 00:09:50,166 --> 00:09:51,250 Off and on, you know, 215 00:09:51,333 --> 00:09:53,750 maybe a couple of weekends here and there, 216 00:09:53,834 --> 00:09:57,417 but as I got into high school... 217 00:09:57,500 --> 00:09:58,792 you know, he didn't see me play, 218 00:09:58,875 --> 00:10:00,917 you know, one high school baseball game. 219 00:10:01,000 --> 00:10:03,417 He saw me play one high school football game 220 00:10:03,500 --> 00:10:04,959 and no basketball games. 221 00:10:05,041 --> 00:10:07,750 ♪ ♪ 222 00:10:07,834 --> 00:10:09,542 [crowd cheering] 223 00:10:09,625 --> 00:10:12,500 - Oh, that's the insurance that we needed. 224 00:10:12,583 --> 00:10:17,083 Help yourself, baby. Good shuffle, CC. 225 00:10:17,166 --> 00:10:18,208 That was fantastic. 226 00:10:18,291 --> 00:10:19,667 Hey, brother. - [chuckles] 227 00:10:19,750 --> 00:10:21,583 - Right on, brother. 228 00:10:21,667 --> 00:10:23,125 ♪ ♪ 229 00:10:23,208 --> 00:10:24,375 - Not having my dad around 230 00:10:24,458 --> 00:10:27,291 was definitely a hardship to deal with. 231 00:10:27,375 --> 00:10:29,917 But the women in my life were always there for me-- 232 00:10:30,000 --> 00:10:32,709 my mom and my grandmother. 233 00:10:32,792 --> 00:10:35,125 And then, of course, Amber, too. 234 00:10:35,208 --> 00:10:37,458 We started out as just friends, actually. 235 00:10:37,542 --> 00:10:40,750 But eventually, we got together. 236 00:10:40,834 --> 00:10:42,583 So the love story part of our life 237 00:10:42,667 --> 00:10:45,166 might've needed a few years to take off, 238 00:10:45,250 --> 00:10:47,959 but by the time I was a senior in high school, 239 00:10:48,041 --> 00:10:50,959 there was no question I had a future in baseball. 240 00:10:51,041 --> 00:10:53,125 - Indians select Sabathia, 241 00:10:53,208 --> 00:10:58,125 S-A-B-A-T-H-I-A, Carsten C. 242 00:10:58,208 --> 00:11:01,125 - Welcome to Cleveland. - [chuckles] Thank you. 243 00:11:01,208 --> 00:11:02,792 A month ago, I was in high school, 244 00:11:02,875 --> 00:11:04,291 and now I'm in Cleveland at Jacobs Field, 245 00:11:04,375 --> 00:11:06,000 so... [chuckling] 246 00:11:06,083 --> 00:11:07,583 Real excited. 247 00:11:07,667 --> 00:11:08,709 - You know, we would always bring 248 00:11:08,792 --> 00:11:10,667 our first-round picks to the ballpark, 249 00:11:10,750 --> 00:11:13,291 and I think the first thing that jumped out at you was, 250 00:11:13,375 --> 00:11:14,542 this looks like a man. 251 00:11:14,625 --> 00:11:17,834 I mean, 6'7" and strong 252 00:11:17,917 --> 00:11:20,834 and the fact that he had had football scholarship offers 253 00:11:20,917 --> 00:11:22,834 at Division I schools-- 254 00:11:22,917 --> 00:11:25,291 this was not your ordinary high school kid. 255 00:11:25,375 --> 00:11:27,834 - Sabathia! [cheers and applause] 256 00:11:27,917 --> 00:11:31,166 - While Sabathia is moving up the Indians development chart, 257 00:11:31,250 --> 00:11:34,333 this young player also shows a lot of maturity. 258 00:11:34,417 --> 00:11:35,458 [cheers and applause] 259 00:11:35,542 --> 00:11:36,500 - Pitched pretty good, you know? 260 00:11:36,583 --> 00:11:37,500 It was a big crowd. 261 00:11:37,583 --> 00:11:39,166 Got into the game pretty good, you know? 262 00:11:39,250 --> 00:11:40,834 I'm used to pitching every fifth day now, 263 00:11:40,917 --> 00:11:42,125 so it's pretty good. 264 00:11:42,208 --> 00:11:43,667 - Let's go! 265 00:11:43,750 --> 00:11:45,834 - Strike three! [cheers and applause] 266 00:11:45,917 --> 00:11:47,834 - After that first couple of months 267 00:11:47,917 --> 00:11:49,000 in the minor leagues, 268 00:11:49,083 --> 00:11:50,208 things are starting to look good. 269 00:11:50,291 --> 00:11:54,375 I made my first couple starts, I pitched well, 270 00:11:54,458 --> 00:11:58,375 and me and my dad kind of, like, reconnected. 271 00:11:58,458 --> 00:12:01,041 Our relationship just kind of took off again from there 272 00:12:01,125 --> 00:12:03,083 like I was 12 years old again. 273 00:12:03,166 --> 00:12:05,208 We didn't miss a beat. 274 00:12:05,291 --> 00:12:06,417 I didn't care what was going on with him, 275 00:12:06,500 --> 00:12:08,041 I didn't know what was going on with him, 276 00:12:08,125 --> 00:12:09,208 I just knew my dad was back 277 00:12:09,291 --> 00:12:11,083 and this is gonna make everything whole again. 278 00:12:11,166 --> 00:12:13,000 ♪ ♪ 279 00:12:13,083 --> 00:12:14,834 But in my life, 280 00:12:14,917 --> 00:12:16,875 every time something good happens to me, 281 00:12:16,959 --> 00:12:19,709 something really, really bad is gonna happen, 282 00:12:19,792 --> 00:12:22,375 and that's always been the case. 283 00:12:22,458 --> 00:12:24,709 So I remember, you know, me and him are driving. 284 00:12:24,792 --> 00:12:26,166 He just told me. 285 00:12:26,250 --> 00:12:28,250 He was like, "You know, I haven't been around. 286 00:12:28,333 --> 00:12:30,709 I've been really sick." 287 00:12:30,792 --> 00:12:33,709 He breaks the news to me that he has HIV. 288 00:12:33,792 --> 00:12:34,750 He told me he was living in San Jose. 289 00:12:34,834 --> 00:12:37,083 He told me he was living at a hospital facility 290 00:12:37,166 --> 00:12:38,083 that's gonna help him out, 291 00:12:38,166 --> 00:12:39,750 help him get healthy, help him get better. 292 00:12:39,834 --> 00:12:42,291 Me and Amber went, and we go down to see him, 293 00:12:42,375 --> 00:12:44,750 and we're hanging out, we're having fun, 294 00:12:44,834 --> 00:12:46,250 and we're getting to leave and he gives me a hug 295 00:12:46,333 --> 00:12:47,750 and he was like, "All right, I'ma walk you out. 296 00:12:47,834 --> 00:12:49,750 I could just walk you to the door." 297 00:12:49,834 --> 00:12:52,458 We get about three steps out of the door and Amber goes, 298 00:12:52,542 --> 00:12:53,875 "Well, how long has your dad been in rehab?" 299 00:12:53,959 --> 00:12:55,917 And I was like, "What are you talking about, rehab?" 300 00:12:56,000 --> 00:12:57,792 She was like, "That's a rehab facility. 301 00:12:57,875 --> 00:13:00,625 Why do you think he couldn't leave?" 302 00:13:00,709 --> 00:13:01,875 First of all, I didn't know he had HIV. 303 00:13:01,959 --> 00:13:02,875 I didn't know he had 304 00:13:02,959 --> 00:13:04,917 the substance abuse problem, either. 305 00:13:05,000 --> 00:13:07,667 And that was the first time I had really even 306 00:13:07,750 --> 00:13:10,041 thought about it or been confronted with it, 307 00:13:10,125 --> 00:13:11,959 but none of that stuff mattered to me at all. 308 00:13:12,041 --> 00:13:13,000 I didn't care. 309 00:13:13,083 --> 00:13:15,083 I mean, I just wanted my dad back. 310 00:13:15,166 --> 00:13:19,041 I was just excited that, you know, we were back talking. 311 00:13:19,125 --> 00:13:22,083 [indistinct chatter] 312 00:13:24,041 --> 00:13:25,792 - And CC Sabathia getting set 313 00:13:25,875 --> 00:13:28,625 to make his Major League start. 314 00:13:28,709 --> 00:13:30,417 - Boy, and that' what you wait for when you're a youngster. 315 00:13:30,500 --> 00:13:31,709 "Just let me get out there." 316 00:13:31,792 --> 00:13:34,625 And then butterflies seem to settle down a little bit. 317 00:13:34,709 --> 00:13:36,333 - Here's the 2-2. 318 00:13:36,417 --> 00:13:37,458 - Strike! 319 00:13:37,542 --> 00:13:38,959 - And it is a fastball on the inside corner. 320 00:13:39,041 --> 00:13:40,959 Strike three. [upbeat music] 321 00:13:41,041 --> 00:13:42,625 - Great job by Sabathia, 322 00:13:42,709 --> 00:13:44,750 that first Major League outing. 323 00:13:44,834 --> 00:13:46,000 [Otis Redding's "Hard to Handle"] 324 00:13:46,083 --> 00:13:47,125 A swing and a miss! 325 00:13:47,208 --> 00:13:48,667 He struck him out on a fastball. 326 00:13:48,750 --> 00:13:53,333 - ♪ Baby, here I am I'm a man on the scene ♪ 327 00:13:53,417 --> 00:13:56,000 ♪ I can give you what you want ♪ 328 00:13:56,083 --> 00:13:58,834 - CC, a 17-game winner. 329 00:13:58,917 --> 00:14:00,375 - A two-strike pitch. 330 00:14:00,458 --> 00:14:01,500 A swing and a miss! 331 00:14:01,583 --> 00:14:03,208 Swung out and missed! Got him with a curve! 332 00:14:03,291 --> 00:14:05,792 And he swings and misses at the high heat. 333 00:14:05,875 --> 00:14:08,500 Sabathia has struck out nine. 334 00:14:08,583 --> 00:14:11,333 - ♪ Toys and things will come by the dozen ♪ 335 00:14:11,417 --> 00:14:13,834 ♪ But that ain't nothing but drug store loving ♪ 336 00:14:13,917 --> 00:14:15,500 ♪ Pretty little thing let me light your candle ♪ 337 00:14:15,583 --> 00:14:17,834 ♪ 'Cause mama, I'm sure hard to handle, now ♪ 338 00:14:17,917 --> 00:14:18,834 ♪ Yessir'am ♪ 339 00:14:18,917 --> 00:14:21,000 - Mom is not the only one digging it. 340 00:14:21,083 --> 00:14:22,709 You done splendid, CC. 341 00:14:22,792 --> 00:14:25,709 - I think Sabathia's getting better. 342 00:14:25,792 --> 00:14:28,875 [upbeat funk music] 343 00:14:28,959 --> 00:14:29,875 - ♪ Give it to me! ♪ 344 00:14:29,959 --> 00:14:31,959 - He was one of those guys 345 00:14:32,041 --> 00:14:33,834 that lived up to the advanced billing 346 00:14:33,917 --> 00:14:35,333 and was every bit as good 347 00:14:35,417 --> 00:14:38,583 and maybe even better than what you thought he would be. 348 00:14:38,667 --> 00:14:40,917 - This is the best time for me. This is great, you know? 349 00:14:41,000 --> 00:14:42,917 I got my dad back, I got Amber here, 350 00:14:43,000 --> 00:14:45,208 my mom's flying in and out all the time. 351 00:14:45,291 --> 00:14:46,834 [soft dramatic music] 352 00:14:46,917 --> 00:14:51,208 We find out Amber's pregnant in January of 2003, 353 00:14:51,291 --> 00:14:52,208 so I'm super excited. 354 00:14:52,291 --> 00:14:53,417 Amber's scared to death. 355 00:14:53,500 --> 00:14:56,667 My dad was extremely excited. 356 00:14:56,750 --> 00:14:58,083 The Sunday that they make the selections 357 00:14:58,166 --> 00:14:59,667 for the All-Star team, 358 00:14:59,750 --> 00:15:01,625 Wedgie calls me in the office and he goes, 359 00:15:01,709 --> 00:15:03,500 "Hey," you know, "Congratulations." 360 00:15:03,583 --> 00:15:04,750 You know, "You made the All-Star team," 361 00:15:04,834 --> 00:15:06,750 you know, "This is the first of many." 362 00:15:06,834 --> 00:15:08,583 And man, I was so excited. 363 00:15:08,667 --> 00:15:11,041 So as I am walking out 364 00:15:11,125 --> 00:15:14,500 to, like, look at my phone to go, like, call my mom, 365 00:15:14,583 --> 00:15:18,709 she calls me and she goes, "Hey, I got some news for you." 366 00:15:18,792 --> 00:15:20,417 And I'm like, "I know, I just made the All-Star team. 367 00:15:20,500 --> 00:15:21,583 You heard it already?" 368 00:15:21,667 --> 00:15:24,542 And she was like, "No, your dad's in the hospital 369 00:15:24,625 --> 00:15:26,750 and they're giving him six weeks to live." 370 00:15:26,834 --> 00:15:28,041 So I'm like, "God," like, 371 00:15:28,125 --> 00:15:30,542 this is my every time something good happens, 372 00:15:30,625 --> 00:15:31,875 like, something bad happens. 373 00:15:31,959 --> 00:15:34,583 But I didn't think it was gonna be that quick. 374 00:15:34,667 --> 00:15:37,625 [downbeat piano music] 375 00:15:37,709 --> 00:15:39,625 ♪ ♪ 376 00:15:39,709 --> 00:15:42,583 You know, they gave him six weeks in July. 377 00:15:42,667 --> 00:15:47,750 It's some kind of cancer that only patients with HIV have 378 00:15:47,834 --> 00:15:50,792 and it's common, it's really aggressive, 379 00:15:50,875 --> 00:15:55,125 and he ended passing away in December, so he fought. 380 00:15:55,208 --> 00:15:57,917 And I think the only reason he fought so long 381 00:15:58,000 --> 00:16:00,000 is because he wanted to see Little C. 382 00:16:00,083 --> 00:16:05,583 ♪ ♪ 383 00:16:05,667 --> 00:16:06,959 Tough day for me that day 384 00:16:07,041 --> 00:16:09,792 because I knew that those would probably be, like, 385 00:16:09,875 --> 00:16:13,125 the only pictures that we would have of them. 386 00:16:13,208 --> 00:16:16,250 I remember I wanted to take as many pictures as possible 387 00:16:16,333 --> 00:16:18,125 because I didn't know 388 00:16:18,208 --> 00:16:22,166 how many times he'd be able to hold him, you know? 389 00:16:22,250 --> 00:16:25,792 ♪ ♪ 390 00:16:25,875 --> 00:16:30,375 I miss that--he missed me pitching in pinstripes. 391 00:16:30,458 --> 00:16:32,291 [shakily] And that was his dream. 392 00:16:32,375 --> 00:16:35,458 [indistinct chatter] 393 00:16:35,542 --> 00:16:40,500 ♪ ♪ 394 00:16:40,583 --> 00:16:41,500 - Strike three! 395 00:16:41,583 --> 00:16:44,333 - I owe my dad everything. 396 00:16:44,417 --> 00:16:45,875 ♪ ♪ 397 00:16:45,959 --> 00:16:46,875 I mean, you grow up in the Crest, 398 00:16:46,959 --> 00:16:47,959 you grow up in Vallejo, 399 00:16:48,041 --> 00:16:51,333 you can't think past the next day. 400 00:16:51,417 --> 00:16:54,500 And to be able to, you know, put a dream in me to, 401 00:16:54,583 --> 00:16:55,834 you know, play in the big leagues 402 00:16:55,917 --> 00:16:59,959 and really try to fulfill that for him. 403 00:17:00,041 --> 00:17:02,625 ♪ ♪ 404 00:17:02,709 --> 00:17:04,959 He's literally the reason why I'm sitting here. 405 00:17:07,625 --> 00:17:10,625 [indistinct audience chatter] 406 00:17:17,250 --> 00:17:21,125 - CC Sabathia, now in his 19th Major League season. 407 00:17:21,208 --> 00:17:25,500 He begins tonight only three strikeouts shy of 3,000. 408 00:17:25,583 --> 00:17:28,583 [cheers and applause] 409 00:17:33,125 --> 00:17:35,041 - Swing and a miss! He got him. 410 00:17:35,125 --> 00:17:39,417 Strikeout number 3,000 for CC Sabathia. 411 00:17:39,500 --> 00:17:40,750 [cheers and applause] 412 00:17:40,834 --> 00:17:43,417 - Now he can breathe. - Yup. It's over. 413 00:17:43,500 --> 00:17:47,000 He'd been talking about this since Spring Training. 414 00:17:47,083 --> 00:17:50,083 [cheers and applause] 415 00:17:53,417 --> 00:17:58,250 all: CC! CC! CC! CC! CC! CC! CC! 416 00:17:58,333 --> 00:18:00,375 [cheers and applause] 417 00:18:00,458 --> 00:18:02,542 - There are his children near the dugout. 418 00:18:02,625 --> 00:18:04,417 So big hugs from the family. 419 00:18:04,500 --> 00:18:06,875 - Whoo! 420 00:18:06,959 --> 00:18:09,917 Let's go! 421 00:18:10,000 --> 00:18:12,250 - We're excited. We were waiting for it. 422 00:18:12,333 --> 00:18:15,583 And now it's here, and now he can focus 423 00:18:15,667 --> 00:18:17,750 and kind of train on winning the World Series. 424 00:18:17,834 --> 00:18:19,417 - Much love, man. - All right, all right. 425 00:18:19,500 --> 00:18:20,417 Y'all looked good. 426 00:18:20,500 --> 00:18:22,083 - Yeah! [indistinct chatter] 427 00:18:22,166 --> 00:18:25,250 - Do you allow yourself to think about the possibility 428 00:18:25,333 --> 00:18:27,625 of the Hall of Fame or is that something that 429 00:18:27,709 --> 00:18:30,208 is outside the pale at this point? 430 00:18:30,291 --> 00:18:31,458 - That's something that maybe I'll think about 431 00:18:31,542 --> 00:18:33,917 after the season, but right now, it's just, 432 00:18:34,000 --> 00:18:35,083 you know, after this is done, 433 00:18:35,166 --> 00:18:36,875 it's just focused on, you know, trying to win games 434 00:18:36,959 --> 00:18:38,834 and, you know, trying to win this division. 435 00:18:38,917 --> 00:18:40,458 It's not really up for me to, 436 00:18:40,542 --> 00:18:41,792 you know, say my place in history. 437 00:18:41,875 --> 00:18:43,208 That's kind of for everybody else. 438 00:18:43,291 --> 00:18:45,417 I just go out and play hard as I can 439 00:18:45,500 --> 00:18:47,583 and, you know, leave my numbers out there. 440 00:18:47,667 --> 00:18:48,583 And what they are, they are. 441 00:18:48,667 --> 00:18:50,291 And, you know, hopefully one day, 442 00:18:50,375 --> 00:18:52,125 they'll be good enough to get in. 443 00:18:52,208 --> 00:18:55,166 [indistinct chatter] 444 00:18:55,250 --> 00:18:56,625 - That, was, like special-- 445 00:18:56,709 --> 00:18:58,417 - I'm not gonna lie. 446 00:18:58,500 --> 00:19:00,750 3,000 strikeouts is a big deal to me. 447 00:19:00,834 --> 00:19:02,959 [cheers and applause] 448 00:19:03,041 --> 00:19:04,625 - All right, first zero. - Me! 449 00:19:04,709 --> 00:19:05,959 - You put it down so it's all across, yeah. 450 00:19:06,041 --> 00:19:07,959 - Smiles. [camera shutter clicking] 451 00:19:08,041 --> 00:19:10,333 - Only 18 pitchers in the history of the game 452 00:19:10,417 --> 00:19:11,333 have done it. 453 00:19:11,417 --> 00:19:14,083 - Oh! [cheers and applause] 454 00:19:14,166 --> 00:19:15,333 - Put her down! - [laughs] 455 00:19:15,417 --> 00:19:17,792 - And I think the thing I'm most proud of 456 00:19:17,875 --> 00:19:19,959 is becoming just the third African American 457 00:19:20,041 --> 00:19:22,500 to get on that list. 458 00:19:22,583 --> 00:19:23,792 To be in the same breath 459 00:19:23,875 --> 00:19:27,000 as Ferguson Jenkins and Bob Gibson? 460 00:19:27,083 --> 00:19:31,000 Hall of famers, legends? It's just awesome. 461 00:19:31,083 --> 00:19:33,709 - It's genuine with you. You've always been real. 462 00:19:33,792 --> 00:19:35,375 You've been a role model for people. 463 00:19:35,458 --> 00:19:37,125 You do shit the right way, man, 464 00:19:37,208 --> 00:19:40,500 and that's something that isn't around as much anymore. 465 00:19:40,583 --> 00:19:42,959 - You're respected beyond this game, man. 466 00:19:43,041 --> 00:19:44,667 As one of the ambassadors of this game, 467 00:19:44,750 --> 00:19:46,709 especially one of the Black ambassadors of this game, 468 00:19:46,792 --> 00:19:48,625 we follow in your footsteps. 469 00:19:48,709 --> 00:19:51,333 [applause] 470 00:19:51,417 --> 00:19:53,667 [dramatic ambient music] 471 00:19:53,750 --> 00:19:56,041 - And the chances for milestones kept coming up 472 00:19:56,125 --> 00:19:57,500 all throughout the season. 473 00:19:57,583 --> 00:20:01,125 ♪ ♪ 474 00:20:01,208 --> 00:20:03,041 - Swing and a miss. 475 00:20:03,125 --> 00:20:04,500 - I've obviously been fortunate 476 00:20:04,583 --> 00:20:07,208 to be here for a while and play with a lot of guys 477 00:20:07,291 --> 00:20:10,542 that have had long careers and reach a lot of milestones, 478 00:20:10,625 --> 00:20:14,667 but CC's reaching numbers and hitting milestones 479 00:20:14,750 --> 00:20:17,542 that I'm not sure are gonna be reached again, 480 00:20:17,625 --> 00:20:20,083 especially as a left-handed pitcher 481 00:20:20,166 --> 00:20:22,375 pitching so long in the American League. 482 00:20:22,458 --> 00:20:24,542 You know, his career has been unbelievable. 483 00:20:24,625 --> 00:20:26,583 - And he'll make the play on the warning track 484 00:20:26,667 --> 00:20:28,917 and the Yankees win 12-1. 485 00:20:29,000 --> 00:20:34,417 CC Sabathia picks up his 250th win. 486 00:20:34,500 --> 00:20:37,250 - To join Fergie and Gibby again on another list? 487 00:20:37,333 --> 00:20:40,500 The only Black pitchers to win 250 games? 488 00:20:40,583 --> 00:20:43,041 It was just huge. 489 00:20:43,125 --> 00:20:45,709 I've definitely always taken a lot of pride 490 00:20:45,792 --> 00:20:49,041 in being a African-American player in this game. 491 00:20:49,125 --> 00:20:52,542 Believe me, every time I ever took the mound, 492 00:20:52,625 --> 00:20:55,834 I knew who and what I was representing. 493 00:20:57,667 --> 00:21:02,417 - [crying] 494 00:21:02,500 --> 00:21:05,250 - Here, C. 495 00:21:05,333 --> 00:21:06,750 - When I think of Cleveland, 496 00:21:06,834 --> 00:21:07,792 the thing that stands out the most 497 00:21:07,875 --> 00:21:10,083 is the core of our family. 498 00:21:10,166 --> 00:21:12,083 That's when we started. 499 00:21:12,166 --> 00:21:15,000 We got married in Cleveland at a courthouse on a off day. 500 00:21:15,083 --> 00:21:16,458 You know, we thought we'd keep it a surprise, 501 00:21:16,542 --> 00:21:18,583 and then it was on the news by the end of the day. 502 00:21:18,667 --> 00:21:21,542 But that was where everything started. 503 00:21:21,625 --> 00:21:23,875 [cheers and applause] 504 00:21:23,959 --> 00:21:26,583 - Cleveland is where I grew into a man. 505 00:21:26,667 --> 00:21:27,834 And there was a point 506 00:21:27,917 --> 00:21:30,792 I absolutely believed I would be a Indian for life. 507 00:21:33,041 --> 00:21:34,291 But baseball's funny. 508 00:21:34,375 --> 00:21:36,750 There's a lot of different ways to learn it's a business. 509 00:21:36,834 --> 00:21:40,125 And by 2008, the team needed to rebuild, 510 00:21:40,208 --> 00:21:41,834 I was headed to free agency, 511 00:21:41,917 --> 00:21:44,333 and the writing was kinda on the wall. 512 00:21:44,417 --> 00:21:48,458 - A huge trade tonight has Cleveland saying, "See ya, CC." 513 00:21:48,542 --> 00:21:52,458 Ace pitcher CC Sabathia now playing in the National League. 514 00:21:52,542 --> 00:21:54,208 - Earlier today here at Miller Park, 515 00:21:54,291 --> 00:21:56,625 the Brewers officially announce one of the biggest trades 516 00:21:56,709 --> 00:21:58,166 in team history. 517 00:21:58,250 --> 00:21:59,417 CC Sabathia, 518 00:21:59,500 --> 00:22:02,125 the reigning American League CY Young award winner, 519 00:22:02,208 --> 00:22:03,333 was officially introduced 520 00:22:03,417 --> 00:22:05,417 as a member of the Milwaukee Brewers. 521 00:22:05,500 --> 00:22:06,834 [dramatic music] 522 00:22:06,917 --> 00:22:09,291 - I looked at getting traded as an opportunity. 523 00:22:09,375 --> 00:22:11,834 Going to Milwaukee, basically getting dropped 524 00:22:11,917 --> 00:22:13,458 right in the middle of a pennant race? 525 00:22:13,542 --> 00:22:15,333 That was great. 526 00:22:15,417 --> 00:22:16,500 I definitely wanted to make the most 527 00:22:16,583 --> 00:22:17,542 of those three months 528 00:22:17,625 --> 00:22:19,291 and carry that team to the playoffs. 529 00:22:19,375 --> 00:22:20,959 [cheers and applause] 530 00:22:21,041 --> 00:22:24,375 - And here comes CC Sabathia. 531 00:22:24,458 --> 00:22:26,375 A strikeout for Sabathia. 532 00:22:26,458 --> 00:22:27,667 ♪ ♪ 533 00:22:27,750 --> 00:22:28,959 - Some of the most dominant pitching 534 00:22:29,041 --> 00:22:32,500 we've seen here in Milwaukee for an awfully long time. 535 00:22:32,583 --> 00:22:34,000 [cheers and applause] - Bare hands it! 536 00:22:34,083 --> 00:22:35,834 - That team was so close 537 00:22:35,917 --> 00:22:37,667 and we didn't want the season to end, 538 00:22:37,750 --> 00:22:39,166 but we didn't have enough pitching 539 00:22:39,250 --> 00:22:41,041 so I was like, "Man, fuck it. I'm healthy. 540 00:22:41,125 --> 00:22:42,333 Let's go. I can go on three days' rest." 541 00:22:42,417 --> 00:22:43,333 Like, "Let's do this," 542 00:22:43,417 --> 00:22:44,834 like, "Let's try to get to the playoffs. 543 00:22:44,917 --> 00:22:47,166 - The big guy is just carrying this team on his shoulders 544 00:22:47,250 --> 00:22:48,333 right now. 545 00:22:48,417 --> 00:22:50,667 [cheers and applause] 546 00:22:50,750 --> 00:22:52,625 - Fans starting to believe. - Unreal. 547 00:22:52,709 --> 00:22:54,500 ♪ ♪ 548 00:22:54,583 --> 00:22:55,625 - On the ground. A chance here. 549 00:22:55,709 --> 00:22:57,875 Durham to Hardy to first! 550 00:22:57,959 --> 00:22:59,417 In time! - Yes, yes! 551 00:22:59,500 --> 00:23:03,834 - The Brewers win! Sabathia, a complete game! 552 00:23:03,917 --> 00:23:06,500 [fireworks popping] 553 00:23:06,583 --> 00:23:10,583 - Those are the exact moments that I 1,000% dreamed about 554 00:23:10,667 --> 00:23:12,709 when I was a kid grabbing those grapefruits off the tree 555 00:23:12,792 --> 00:23:16,000 or off the ground, and it's the weirdest thing, 556 00:23:16,083 --> 00:23:17,959 because kids grow up, and they're always the hitter 557 00:23:18,041 --> 00:23:20,333 and want to hit a grand slam to win the game, 558 00:23:20,417 --> 00:23:22,333 but for me, it was always wanting to make that pitch, 559 00:23:22,417 --> 00:23:24,750 and I was always the guy that was on the mound. 560 00:23:24,834 --> 00:23:26,250 I was gonna get the last out. 561 00:23:26,333 --> 00:23:27,834 ♪ ♪ 562 00:23:27,917 --> 00:23:29,542 It was a big game. 563 00:23:29,625 --> 00:23:31,000 You know, we came out focused, ready to have fun, 564 00:23:31,083 --> 00:23:33,208 and it was amazing. 565 00:23:33,291 --> 00:23:34,709 - You have to go on three days' rest again. 566 00:23:34,792 --> 00:23:36,709 Think you can do it? - No doubt. 567 00:23:36,792 --> 00:23:40,709 all: CC! CC! CC! CC! CC! CC! CC! 568 00:23:40,792 --> 00:23:43,875 - Look, I guess history doesn't lie. 569 00:23:43,959 --> 00:23:46,250 I was out of gas in the playoffs. 570 00:23:46,333 --> 00:23:50,875 - Grand slam home run! [cheers and applause] 571 00:23:50,959 --> 00:23:52,709 - But walking off the field, 572 00:23:52,792 --> 00:23:55,625 it was just like, "Okay, what's next? 573 00:23:55,709 --> 00:23:56,917 - Well, this guy has been 574 00:23:57,000 --> 00:23:58,375 a warrior for the Milwaukee Brewers, 575 00:23:58,458 --> 00:24:00,417 but it caught up to him a little bit tonight, 576 00:24:00,500 --> 00:24:02,667 and their fans are gonna give him a hoot as he leaves, 577 00:24:02,750 --> 00:24:06,750 but guy's been unbelievable for this team. 578 00:24:06,834 --> 00:24:08,917 - So going to the offseason. 579 00:24:09,000 --> 00:24:10,083 And now, me and Amber, you know, 580 00:24:10,166 --> 00:24:12,458 have this huge decision we have to make. 581 00:24:12,542 --> 00:24:14,041 We have three kids, and, you know, 582 00:24:14,125 --> 00:24:15,917 we know that we going to free agency 583 00:24:16,000 --> 00:24:17,917 and we're gonna be set up, you know, 584 00:24:18,000 --> 00:24:19,041 for the rest of our lives. 585 00:24:19,125 --> 00:24:21,834 So wherever we play is where we're gonna live, 586 00:24:21,917 --> 00:24:23,083 we're gonna raise the kids, 587 00:24:23,166 --> 00:24:25,458 so it was more than just a baseball decision 588 00:24:25,542 --> 00:24:26,709 that we had to make. 589 00:24:26,792 --> 00:24:28,125 And first day of free agency, 590 00:24:28,208 --> 00:24:29,959 the Yankees offered me a contract. 591 00:24:30,041 --> 00:24:33,333 [soft music] 592 00:24:33,417 --> 00:24:34,792 ♪ ♪ 593 00:24:34,875 --> 00:24:39,792 I didn't particularly want to come to New York. 594 00:24:39,875 --> 00:24:41,333 You know, I'm a West Coast guy. 595 00:24:41,417 --> 00:24:42,333 I thought I would, you know, 596 00:24:42,417 --> 00:24:44,792 be in a Dodger uniform or a Angel uniform, 597 00:24:44,875 --> 00:24:47,667 but going through free agency and talking with Amber 598 00:24:47,750 --> 00:24:50,125 and really wanting a chance to win every year 599 00:24:50,208 --> 00:24:51,875 and not being the main focus-- 600 00:24:51,959 --> 00:24:54,000 how could you not become a Yankee? 601 00:24:54,083 --> 00:24:56,500 ♪ ♪ 602 00:24:56,583 --> 00:24:59,083 - Tonight, the Bronx Bombers agreeing to a contract 603 00:24:59,166 --> 00:25:01,208 with CC Sabathia that will make him 604 00:25:01,291 --> 00:25:04,333 the highest-paid pitcher ever. 605 00:25:04,417 --> 00:25:06,834 ♪ ♪ 606 00:25:06,917 --> 00:25:09,000 - We, on behalf of the Steinbrenner family, 607 00:25:09,083 --> 00:25:10,208 threw a lot of money 608 00:25:10,291 --> 00:25:11,875 and made it hard for him to consider something else. 609 00:25:11,959 --> 00:25:13,208 - [chuckles] 610 00:25:13,291 --> 00:25:14,542 - I didn't hide that desperation. 611 00:25:14,625 --> 00:25:17,834 I didn't hide our sincere, genuine interest. 612 00:25:17,917 --> 00:25:20,000 We felt he could impact our clubhouse 613 00:25:20,083 --> 00:25:23,208 with his character and lovable nature and, obviously, 614 00:25:23,291 --> 00:25:24,333 the performance side on that field. 615 00:25:24,417 --> 00:25:29,500 I mean this is a real rare talent that, you know, 616 00:25:29,583 --> 00:25:32,375 you could transform a franchise with that ball in his hand 617 00:25:32,458 --> 00:25:35,208 and we were willing to pay for that. 618 00:25:50,625 --> 00:25:52,000 - [chuckles] 619 00:25:55,333 --> 00:26:01,291 ♪ ♪ 620 00:26:07,458 --> 00:26:10,208 I think if I had one philosophy for my last season, 621 00:26:10,291 --> 00:26:14,000 it was this: try to enjoy every minute. 622 00:26:14,083 --> 00:26:15,750 [car horn honks] 623 00:26:15,834 --> 00:26:17,041 ♪ ♪ 624 00:26:17,125 --> 00:26:18,875 So it might've looked crazy, 625 00:26:18,959 --> 00:26:21,875 but when the team has Star Wars night on May 4th 626 00:26:21,959 --> 00:26:23,709 and handed out my bobbleheads, 627 00:26:23,792 --> 00:26:26,709 I was like, "Let me be Yoda." 628 00:26:26,792 --> 00:26:28,792 Maybe I'm not quite as old as him, 629 00:26:28,875 --> 00:26:30,542 but close enough, right? 630 00:26:30,625 --> 00:26:32,917 - I love you, CC. - Thank you. 631 00:26:33,000 --> 00:26:35,709 - Here you go. - Say thank you. 632 00:26:35,792 --> 00:26:37,250 - Thank you. - You're welcome. 633 00:26:37,333 --> 00:26:39,792 [chuckling] 634 00:26:39,875 --> 00:26:41,375 Old-Timers' Day, 635 00:26:41,458 --> 00:26:42,917 that's always one of the best days of the year 636 00:26:43,000 --> 00:26:44,583 for everybody. 637 00:26:44,667 --> 00:26:45,792 - How you doin'? 638 00:26:45,875 --> 00:26:46,917 - I'm getting to the age now 639 00:26:47,000 --> 00:26:48,125 where I don't want to do too much of nothing. 640 00:26:48,208 --> 00:26:49,583 Gimme that bat. Hey. 641 00:26:49,667 --> 00:26:52,709 - Mixing it up with all those legends coming back, 642 00:26:52,792 --> 00:26:55,250 celebrating all that Yankee history. 643 00:26:55,333 --> 00:26:57,417 [indistinct chatter] [chuckles] 644 00:26:57,500 --> 00:26:59,542 - I'm coming too. That's a fact for you. 645 00:26:59,625 --> 00:27:00,542 - Yes. 646 00:27:00,625 --> 00:27:01,917 I'm only coming back if I can hit, though. 647 00:27:02,000 --> 00:27:03,917 [laughter] 648 00:27:04,000 --> 00:27:08,458 - What a great career, what a great career. 649 00:27:08,542 --> 00:27:11,458 - It was definitely put in a new perspective, though. 650 00:27:11,542 --> 00:27:13,291 Like the idea it was almost my turn 651 00:27:13,375 --> 00:27:15,291 to be one of these guys. 652 00:27:15,375 --> 00:27:16,625 But really, 653 00:27:16,709 --> 00:27:19,542 that's just another fraternity I'm proud to be a part of-- 654 00:27:19,625 --> 00:27:22,208 united by those pinstripes. 655 00:27:26,166 --> 00:27:28,709 - Let's go, CC! 656 00:27:29,834 --> 00:27:31,792 - And probably the most special day of the year 657 00:27:31,875 --> 00:27:34,166 was at the end in September. 658 00:27:34,250 --> 00:27:37,792 The team actually gave me my own day. 659 00:27:37,875 --> 00:27:38,792 Feels weird. 660 00:27:38,875 --> 00:27:39,959 It feel like it's somebody else's last game. 661 00:27:40,041 --> 00:27:41,250 - [chuckles] - No, player. 662 00:27:41,333 --> 00:27:43,959 That's you. - It's me. [chuckles] 663 00:27:44,041 --> 00:27:45,125 - Get it done. See you out there. 664 00:27:45,208 --> 00:27:47,083 - It's been crazy. 665 00:27:47,166 --> 00:27:49,500 - With a career high of 21 victories. 666 00:27:49,583 --> 00:27:53,000 Over his 11 years of playing for the Yankees, 667 00:27:53,083 --> 00:27:55,333 CC was a three-time All-Star 668 00:27:55,417 --> 00:27:58,417 and is tenth on the Yankees all-time wins list 669 00:27:58,500 --> 00:28:02,291 and fourth on the Yankees all-time strikeouts list. 670 00:28:02,375 --> 00:28:05,875 [cheers and applause] 671 00:28:05,959 --> 00:28:10,000 ♪ ♪ 672 00:28:10,083 --> 00:28:12,834 - [chuckles] Thank you, guys. Thank you. 673 00:28:12,917 --> 00:28:15,208 - Wave! Wave to him! 674 00:28:15,291 --> 00:28:18,667 ♪ ♪ 675 00:28:18,750 --> 00:28:21,500 - I really didn't want to get too emotional, 676 00:28:21,583 --> 00:28:25,000 but standing out there, I just couldn't help it. 677 00:28:25,083 --> 00:28:27,333 It's like your life flashes before your eyes a little bit. 678 00:28:27,417 --> 00:28:30,125 [cheers and applause] 679 00:28:30,208 --> 00:28:31,917 ♪ ♪ 680 00:28:32,000 --> 00:28:33,291 - You know, you see it on the TV, 681 00:28:33,375 --> 00:28:34,542 you know, you see the Jeters 682 00:28:34,625 --> 00:28:36,875 and then you see Lou Gehrig, and then you see Babe Ruth, 683 00:28:36,959 --> 00:28:39,166 you know, making speeches at home plate at Yankee Stadium. 684 00:28:39,250 --> 00:28:40,583 And like, this stuff out of a movie, you know? 685 00:28:40,667 --> 00:28:41,667 Like, this isn't real. 686 00:28:41,750 --> 00:28:44,250 - But most of all, I wanna thank you, the fans. 687 00:28:44,333 --> 00:28:45,875 Thank you guys... [cheers and applause] 688 00:28:45,959 --> 00:28:47,542 For letting me play in front of you guys 689 00:28:47,625 --> 00:28:51,041 for the last 11 years giving you everything I have. 690 00:28:51,125 --> 00:28:53,083 - And then you see your father that's up there 691 00:28:53,166 --> 00:28:54,750 doing that type of stuff with your grandmother, 692 00:28:54,834 --> 00:28:56,208 with your whole family, you know, 693 00:28:56,291 --> 00:28:59,166 with the entire stadium giving them a whole bunch of praise, 694 00:28:59,250 --> 00:29:00,333 a whole bunch of love. 695 00:29:00,417 --> 00:29:03,041 It's something that you can't even put into words. 696 00:29:03,125 --> 00:29:04,500 - God damn it. 697 00:29:04,583 --> 00:29:06,333 I didn't want to be crying, guys. 698 00:29:06,417 --> 00:29:07,917 - [laughs] 699 00:29:08,000 --> 00:29:12,417 ♪ ♪ 700 00:29:12,500 --> 00:29:15,083 - Obviously, I got my start in Cleveland, 701 00:29:15,166 --> 00:29:17,583 but my family being a part of the Yankee family 702 00:29:17,667 --> 00:29:20,583 is something that I truly cherish. 703 00:29:20,667 --> 00:29:23,417 - We're gonna have you walk your mother out to the middle, 704 00:29:23,500 --> 00:29:24,917 so all the way. 705 00:29:25,000 --> 00:29:26,917 - And a big part of the emotion 706 00:29:27,000 --> 00:29:29,750 was thinking about what I overcame. 707 00:29:29,834 --> 00:29:31,959 How maybe these fans always loved me 708 00:29:32,041 --> 00:29:35,125 all the way back to the beginning in 2009, 709 00:29:35,208 --> 00:29:37,583 but they didn't know the trouble I was having, 710 00:29:37,667 --> 00:29:40,041 the secret I was carrying, 711 00:29:40,125 --> 00:29:42,542 that really could've destroyed all of this. 712 00:29:42,625 --> 00:29:45,291 All right, ready? 713 00:29:45,375 --> 00:29:48,750 [cheers and applause] 714 00:29:48,834 --> 00:29:50,291 But what's that saying? 715 00:29:50,375 --> 00:29:54,458 "What'd done in the dark eventually comes to light." 716 00:29:54,542 --> 00:29:57,834 - Daddy, Daddy, Daddy! 717 00:29:57,917 --> 00:29:59,542 ♪ ♪ 718 00:30:02,458 --> 00:30:05,417 [indistinct audience chatter] 719 00:30:14,041 --> 00:30:15,917 - To the second baseman, Cano! 720 00:30:16,000 --> 00:30:18,458 The Yankees are back on top! 721 00:30:18,542 --> 00:30:21,458 World champions for the 27th time. 722 00:30:21,542 --> 00:30:23,458 [cheers and applause] 723 00:30:23,542 --> 00:30:24,792 - This is what you came here for. 724 00:30:24,875 --> 00:30:26,583 How does it feel? - This feels--it feels great. 725 00:30:26,667 --> 00:30:27,583 This is what you come here for. 726 00:30:27,667 --> 00:30:28,750 To win the championship. 727 00:30:28,834 --> 00:30:31,750 To be able to do it here the first year feels great. 728 00:30:31,834 --> 00:30:32,792 [cheers and laughter] 729 00:30:32,875 --> 00:30:33,959 It's the greatest city in the world, 730 00:30:34,041 --> 00:30:36,291 and to be able to win here, it's unbelievable. 731 00:30:36,375 --> 00:30:38,834 [champagne bottle hissing] 732 00:30:38,917 --> 00:30:41,834 [marching band music] 733 00:30:41,917 --> 00:30:43,667 [cheers and applause] 734 00:30:43,750 --> 00:30:45,917 [car horns honking] 735 00:30:49,917 --> 00:30:51,959 - After we won in 2009, 736 00:30:52,041 --> 00:30:55,333 for me, the goal was just get even better. 737 00:30:55,417 --> 00:31:00,166 - Your 2009 World Series champion 738 00:31:00,250 --> 00:31:03,000 New York Yankees! 739 00:31:03,083 --> 00:31:05,583 - Playing alongside Yankee legends like Jeter, 740 00:31:05,667 --> 00:31:10,333 A-Rod, Rivera, Posada, Pettitte. 741 00:31:10,417 --> 00:31:14,333 - CC Sabathia! [cheers and applause] 742 00:31:14,417 --> 00:31:16,333 - Having talent around you like that 743 00:31:16,417 --> 00:31:19,041 pushes you to always keep working. 744 00:31:19,125 --> 00:31:20,208 ♪ ♪ 745 00:31:20,291 --> 00:31:22,250 [cheers and applause] 746 00:31:22,333 --> 00:31:25,542 In 2010, I won 21 games, 747 00:31:25,625 --> 00:31:28,709 and that made me part of the Black Aces. 748 00:31:28,792 --> 00:31:30,417 If you haven't heard of us, 749 00:31:30,500 --> 00:31:32,834 there are just 15 of us in history: 750 00:31:32,917 --> 00:31:36,709 African-American pitchers who have won 20 games in a season. 751 00:31:36,792 --> 00:31:38,166 ♪ ♪ 752 00:31:38,250 --> 00:31:43,166 - Sabathia, a true ace in every single possible way. 753 00:31:43,250 --> 00:31:45,041 ♪ ♪ 754 00:31:45,125 --> 00:31:47,583 - At that point, I absolutely felt 755 00:31:47,667 --> 00:31:51,083 that I was as good as any pitcher in baseball. 756 00:31:51,166 --> 00:31:53,583 - 2009, 2010, '11, 757 00:31:53,667 --> 00:31:55,458 I felt like, no matter what, 758 00:31:55,542 --> 00:31:57,750 when CC was out there, he was gonna get the win. 759 00:31:57,834 --> 00:32:00,583 It was just this confidence that he had 760 00:32:00,667 --> 00:32:03,709 that he felt like he was unstoppable. 761 00:32:03,792 --> 00:32:05,458 - And the 2-2. 762 00:32:05,542 --> 00:32:07,625 He struck him out! [cheers and applause] 763 00:32:07,709 --> 00:32:09,583 Yankees win 1-0 764 00:32:09,667 --> 00:32:13,125 and CC Sabathia with a complete game. 765 00:32:13,208 --> 00:32:17,792 Four-hit, 1-0 shutout. An absolutely gem. 766 00:32:17,875 --> 00:32:19,583 [cheers and applause] 767 00:32:19,667 --> 00:32:21,125 - If that was the peak of my career 768 00:32:21,208 --> 00:32:23,375 as far as, you know, on the field, 769 00:32:23,458 --> 00:32:25,583 everybody sees me as this horse, this ace, 770 00:32:25,667 --> 00:32:28,542 this All-Star pitcher... 771 00:32:28,625 --> 00:32:31,083 but really, on the other side of it, 772 00:32:31,166 --> 00:32:32,750 I'm really struggling. 773 00:32:32,834 --> 00:32:35,792 [downbeat piano music] 774 00:32:35,875 --> 00:32:41,125 ♪ ♪ 775 00:32:41,208 --> 00:32:44,291 First time I drank, I was 14 years old, 776 00:32:44,375 --> 00:32:45,959 and I was always a binge drinker, 777 00:32:46,041 --> 00:32:48,125 always, from the very first day. 778 00:32:48,208 --> 00:32:50,458 ♪ ♪ 779 00:32:50,542 --> 00:32:52,625 That very first night, I remember-- 780 00:32:52,709 --> 00:32:56,000 I mean, I drank as much as I possibly could get down. 781 00:32:56,083 --> 00:32:59,166 And that was always my MO from then on. 782 00:32:59,250 --> 00:33:01,625 ♪ ♪ 783 00:33:01,709 --> 00:33:04,750 Early in my career and throughout the minor leagues, 784 00:33:04,834 --> 00:33:06,792 I was always the youngest on the team, 785 00:33:06,875 --> 00:33:07,959 so that meant we go out 786 00:33:08,041 --> 00:33:10,542 and whoever would bring me drinks to the bathroom, 787 00:33:10,625 --> 00:33:13,083 and I would just suck 'em down in the bathroom 788 00:33:13,166 --> 00:33:14,125 right in the bathroom stall. 789 00:33:14,208 --> 00:33:15,375 Three or four drinks right there at a time, 790 00:33:15,458 --> 00:33:17,250 and that's how I would drink. 791 00:33:17,333 --> 00:33:20,583 So I kind of started off a huge binge drinker 792 00:33:20,667 --> 00:33:22,333 in my teens, 793 00:33:22,417 --> 00:33:25,041 and it just progressively got worse, you know, 794 00:33:25,125 --> 00:33:26,625 through my 20s and 30s. 795 00:33:26,709 --> 00:33:29,709 ♪ ♪ 796 00:33:29,792 --> 00:33:32,000 - He was always anxious being in large groups, 797 00:33:32,083 --> 00:33:33,667 and as we got older, 798 00:33:33,750 --> 00:33:37,834 alcohol was kinda his coping mechanism for multiple things. 799 00:33:37,917 --> 00:33:40,166 But then he also dealt with the anxiety of knowing 800 00:33:40,250 --> 00:33:42,709 that, "I was drunk last night and I did something 801 00:33:42,792 --> 00:33:45,000 "or I said something that I shouldn't have, 802 00:33:45,083 --> 00:33:47,208 and so how do I cope with this today?" 803 00:33:47,291 --> 00:33:49,166 And that would be alcohol. 804 00:33:49,250 --> 00:33:52,000 Or deaths--I mean, 805 00:33:52,083 --> 00:33:55,291 deaths were a huge part of his life. 806 00:33:55,375 --> 00:33:58,125 "My grandmother, my father, my uncle. 807 00:33:58,208 --> 00:34:00,875 "All these people have died. 808 00:34:00,959 --> 00:34:03,542 How can I deal with it? I'm gonna drink." 809 00:34:03,625 --> 00:34:05,375 ♪ ♪ 810 00:34:05,458 --> 00:34:06,750 - I was drinking to escape everything 811 00:34:06,834 --> 00:34:09,667 and try to find a way to not think about 812 00:34:09,750 --> 00:34:11,875 the people that I was missing, the people that I lost, 813 00:34:11,959 --> 00:34:14,709 me trying to navigate a career. 814 00:34:14,792 --> 00:34:17,083 Or even everything that was going on back home. 815 00:34:17,166 --> 00:34:18,750 Growing up in the hood and being the one that make it, 816 00:34:18,834 --> 00:34:20,709 I mean, it's a lot of pressure too. 817 00:34:20,792 --> 00:34:23,583 Signing the contract that I did, it could mess you up 818 00:34:23,667 --> 00:34:26,709 because I feel like people thought I had $161 million, 819 00:34:26,792 --> 00:34:27,875 like, that day. 820 00:34:27,959 --> 00:34:30,709 So I think, you know, everybody wanted something. 821 00:34:30,792 --> 00:34:32,166 ♪ ♪ 822 00:34:32,250 --> 00:34:33,500 Having that type of pressure 823 00:34:33,583 --> 00:34:35,208 and then missing a bunch of people 824 00:34:35,291 --> 00:34:38,417 and not having the real guidance of a father, 825 00:34:38,500 --> 00:34:41,375 it was just easier to get fucked up and just fall asleep 826 00:34:41,458 --> 00:34:43,875 and not think about stuff for a couple days. 827 00:34:43,959 --> 00:34:46,208 [cheers and applause] 828 00:34:46,291 --> 00:34:48,458 - That'll be a 1-2 to Heyward. 829 00:34:48,542 --> 00:34:51,083 And Sabathia deals. 830 00:34:51,166 --> 00:34:52,583 Struck him out swinging. 831 00:34:52,667 --> 00:34:55,083 Ball game over. Yankees win. 832 00:34:55,166 --> 00:34:58,834 The Yankees win! 833 00:35:00,250 --> 00:35:03,917 - I managed being a alcoholic and being able to pitch. 834 00:35:04,000 --> 00:35:05,917 I would detox myself. 835 00:35:06,000 --> 00:35:08,750 [dramatic ambient music] 836 00:35:08,834 --> 00:35:11,125 Say I pitched on Monday. 837 00:35:11,208 --> 00:35:13,667 ♪ ♪ 838 00:35:13,750 --> 00:35:15,917 Monday night, Tuesday night, Wednesday night, 839 00:35:16,000 --> 00:35:19,417 I'm hammered, blackout drunk. 840 00:35:19,500 --> 00:35:22,417 Thursday, Friday, I don't drink at all, like, nothing. 841 00:35:22,500 --> 00:35:24,208 Straight water, Gatorade. 842 00:35:24,291 --> 00:35:25,792 ♪ ♪ 843 00:35:25,875 --> 00:35:28,625 Pitch Saturday, when I'm comin' outta the game, 844 00:35:28,709 --> 00:35:31,667 I need a Crown and Sprite in my locker. 845 00:35:31,750 --> 00:35:33,959 ♪ ♪ 846 00:35:34,041 --> 00:35:37,750 So I would literally start after the last pitch I threw. 847 00:35:37,834 --> 00:35:40,458 If I won, I was celebrating because I won. 848 00:35:40,542 --> 00:35:41,709 If I pitched bad, 849 00:35:41,792 --> 00:35:44,500 then I was pissed off, so I needed a drink. 850 00:35:44,583 --> 00:35:48,000 There was never a shortage of reasons why I needed to drink 851 00:35:48,083 --> 00:35:50,959 or why I needed a cup, you know? 852 00:35:51,041 --> 00:35:52,667 [cheers and applause] 853 00:35:52,750 --> 00:35:54,000 - Bases loaded with two guys. 854 00:35:54,083 --> 00:35:57,625 Sabathia try to limit that damage right here. 855 00:35:57,709 --> 00:35:59,333 And he does. [cheers and applause] 856 00:35:59,417 --> 00:36:03,417 ♪ ♪ 857 00:36:03,500 --> 00:36:07,000 - You have CC, the bear. The grizzly bear on the mound. 858 00:36:07,083 --> 00:36:09,709 When you get that roar after he strikes a guy out, 859 00:36:09,792 --> 00:36:12,208 you're gonna get that all the time in a big game. 860 00:36:12,291 --> 00:36:14,333 And then you get the hulk. 861 00:36:14,417 --> 00:36:17,333 The hulk is alcohol, too much. 862 00:36:17,417 --> 00:36:19,458 The signs start the first couple of drinks. 863 00:36:19,542 --> 00:36:21,000 He starts grabbing his shirt 864 00:36:21,083 --> 00:36:23,500 and he's, like, you know, uncomfortable 865 00:36:23,583 --> 00:36:25,291 and getting hot and you're sweating 866 00:36:25,375 --> 00:36:27,709 and then the hulk starts to bubble a little bit, 867 00:36:27,792 --> 00:36:29,834 and then when the full hulk comes out, 868 00:36:29,917 --> 00:36:33,041 it's, "I wanna fight with anybody." 869 00:36:33,125 --> 00:36:36,542 For some reason, CC, alcohol, and too much of it 870 00:36:36,625 --> 00:36:38,166 made this hulk come out. 871 00:36:38,250 --> 00:36:41,083 It was never a positive ending ever. 872 00:36:43,208 --> 00:36:46,291 - 2012 was a tough year. I'm drinking way more. 873 00:36:46,375 --> 00:36:48,792 Relationships with my family back in Vallejo was-- 874 00:36:48,875 --> 00:36:50,792 is getting bad, I'm ruining holidays, 875 00:36:50,875 --> 00:36:52,959 you know, everything is crumbling off the field 876 00:36:53,041 --> 00:36:55,333 and the only way I know how to cope with it is alcohol. 877 00:36:55,417 --> 00:37:00,500 ♪ ♪ 878 00:37:00,583 --> 00:37:03,625 The end of August, me and Amber get into a big fight 879 00:37:03,709 --> 00:37:05,875 at Little C's football game. 880 00:37:05,959 --> 00:37:07,875 It was an off day. I had already been drinking. 881 00:37:07,959 --> 00:37:09,208 I was drunk at the game. 882 00:37:09,291 --> 00:37:11,000 And I come home, 883 00:37:11,083 --> 00:37:13,583 and I had a old-school Cutlass at the time, 884 00:37:13,667 --> 00:37:15,333 and I take that out, and I'm gonna drive. 885 00:37:15,417 --> 00:37:17,208 And I'm--I'm outta here. 886 00:37:17,291 --> 00:37:19,417 So I drive my car down the hill 887 00:37:19,500 --> 00:37:22,750 and I end up going through a fence and hitting a tree. 888 00:37:22,834 --> 00:37:24,709 ♪ ♪ 889 00:37:24,792 --> 00:37:26,417 Top down, you know, I'm drunk. 890 00:37:26,500 --> 00:37:28,417 And it's basically--that could've been the end of it. 891 00:37:28,500 --> 00:37:31,166 I could've ended my life right there. 892 00:37:31,250 --> 00:37:32,875 Me and Amber made the decision 893 00:37:33,000 --> 00:37:35,375 to go to couples therapy that next week 894 00:37:35,458 --> 00:37:39,917 and try to get help, but I was still really bad. 895 00:37:40,000 --> 00:37:42,083 And then that off-season, 896 00:37:42,166 --> 00:37:44,291 my cousin Demetrius, we call him MeMe, 897 00:37:44,375 --> 00:37:46,875 I was looking forward to seeing him at Christmas. 898 00:37:46,959 --> 00:37:50,500 You know, my idol, I looked up to him. 899 00:37:50,583 --> 00:37:52,792 He was a huge, big-time athlete in Vallejo, 900 00:37:52,875 --> 00:37:57,041 went to University of Nevada, played football. 901 00:37:57,125 --> 00:37:59,458 Me and Amber were packing everybody's stuff up. 902 00:37:59,542 --> 00:38:02,250 We were going home to go back for Christmas. 903 00:38:02,333 --> 00:38:04,875 And we were leaving that the next morning. 904 00:38:04,959 --> 00:38:07,250 That day, my mom calls me screaming--that morning. 905 00:38:07,333 --> 00:38:10,750 She was like, "He's gone! He's gone! I don't know! 906 00:38:10,834 --> 00:38:12,375 I don't know what to do, C! He's gone!" 907 00:38:12,458 --> 00:38:13,375 And I'm like, "What?" 908 00:38:13,458 --> 00:38:15,834 Like, "What are you guys talking about?" 909 00:38:15,917 --> 00:38:19,792 And my cousin had just had a massive heart attack. 910 00:38:19,875 --> 00:38:22,458 He passed away at 45. 911 00:38:22,542 --> 00:38:25,500 ♪ ♪ 912 00:38:25,583 --> 00:38:29,625 MeMe's death really crushed me because he was really my idol. 913 00:38:29,709 --> 00:38:31,291 I didn't have to look on TV, 914 00:38:31,375 --> 00:38:35,166 I didn't have to go anywhere to look up to somebody. 915 00:38:35,250 --> 00:38:36,792 My dad passing away, me dealing with that, 916 00:38:36,875 --> 00:38:38,834 and then me dealing with MeMe passing away 917 00:38:38,917 --> 00:38:40,959 is really what, like, sent me on that spiral 918 00:38:41,041 --> 00:38:43,458 down a really, really dark path. 919 00:38:43,542 --> 00:38:46,792 ♪ ♪ 920 00:38:46,875 --> 00:38:49,750 I think those two guys were more my heroes than anything, 921 00:38:49,834 --> 00:38:53,083 and they passed away so early. 922 00:38:53,166 --> 00:38:55,667 I felt abandoned. 923 00:38:55,750 --> 00:39:02,959 ♪ ♪ 924 00:39:03,458 --> 00:39:05,834 No matter how old you get, you still always need, like, 925 00:39:05,917 --> 00:39:08,709 a male figure, somebody solid that you can lean on, 926 00:39:08,792 --> 00:39:11,834 that you can talk to, somebody that knows you. 927 00:39:11,917 --> 00:39:14,500 And I feel like I don't have that, like, at all. 928 00:39:14,583 --> 00:39:16,458 My father, my cousin, you know, 929 00:39:16,542 --> 00:39:19,166 I don't have anybody in my family 930 00:39:19,250 --> 00:39:22,667 that I can really lean on like that, 931 00:39:22,750 --> 00:39:24,667 and, you know, that's always a tough thing for me. 932 00:39:24,750 --> 00:39:26,542 I still deal with that. 933 00:39:29,250 --> 00:39:32,250 [birds chirping] 934 00:39:42,583 --> 00:39:45,166 This is, like, my arena for whatever. 935 00:39:45,250 --> 00:39:47,041 You know, whether it was, you know, 936 00:39:47,125 --> 00:39:50,333 watching baseball, basketball, football, whatever, playing. 937 00:39:50,417 --> 00:39:51,917 I have my Sega set up back here. 938 00:39:52,000 --> 00:39:56,750 We had, like, a china cabinet and I had my TV right here. 939 00:39:56,834 --> 00:39:58,709 It always feels good to be back here and be home 940 00:39:58,792 --> 00:40:01,333 and like, this is home-- like, I was born here. 941 00:40:01,417 --> 00:40:03,750 - Hey! 942 00:40:03,834 --> 00:40:07,875 - Corky wanted to teach CC how to cut the grass. 943 00:40:07,959 --> 00:40:10,125 My mom went right out behind him. 944 00:40:10,208 --> 00:40:12,583 She said, "What do you want with CC?" 945 00:40:12,667 --> 00:40:14,208 Corky said, "I wanna teach him 946 00:40:14,291 --> 00:40:16,542 how to maintain the front yard." 947 00:40:16,625 --> 00:40:19,500 And so she says, "Nah, nah, nah, he don't do that. 948 00:40:19,583 --> 00:40:20,709 He's gonna be a baseball player." 949 00:40:20,792 --> 00:40:23,291 - "He's a baseball player." [laughter] 950 00:40:23,375 --> 00:40:25,083 - It was crazy. She stopped everything. 951 00:40:25,166 --> 00:40:26,083 - Yeah, she did. 952 00:40:26,166 --> 00:40:27,542 She wouldn't let me get a job or nothing. 953 00:40:27,625 --> 00:40:29,750 I tried to get a job at Marine World. 954 00:40:29,834 --> 00:40:30,750 "You ain't got time for that." - No. 955 00:40:30,834 --> 00:40:31,750 - "You got baseball." - Yeah. 956 00:40:31,834 --> 00:40:34,041 She said, "You focus on baseball. 957 00:40:34,125 --> 00:40:35,917 That's all I need you to do." 958 00:40:36,000 --> 00:40:37,875 [indistinct chatter] 959 00:40:37,959 --> 00:40:40,875 - Miss! [laughter] 960 00:40:40,959 --> 00:40:42,959 - Oh, wow. 961 00:40:43,041 --> 00:40:44,166 [ball swishes] Oh, good shot. 962 00:40:44,250 --> 00:40:47,458 I used to go back to Vallejo a few times a year. 963 00:40:47,542 --> 00:40:49,542 Obviously, to see my mom. 964 00:40:49,625 --> 00:40:51,875 And then also to visit the people in my family 965 00:40:51,959 --> 00:40:54,208 I still miss to this day. 966 00:40:54,291 --> 00:40:56,583 ♪ ♪ 967 00:40:56,667 --> 00:40:58,083 - See the little basketball hoop 968 00:40:58,166 --> 00:40:59,083 and basketball right there? 969 00:40:59,166 --> 00:41:00,083 - Where's MeMe? - Right there. 970 00:41:00,166 --> 00:41:01,792 - Ah. - Oh. 971 00:41:01,875 --> 00:41:04,583 ♪ ♪ 972 00:41:04,667 --> 00:41:07,792 - Man, I'll never forget that call. 973 00:41:07,875 --> 00:41:09,500 It's my grandma. 974 00:41:09,583 --> 00:41:12,750 ♪ ♪ 975 00:41:12,834 --> 00:41:17,083 My father's also buried here. We have the same name. 976 00:41:17,166 --> 00:41:20,291 And then I named my oldest after him too. 977 00:41:20,375 --> 00:41:22,792 - Can I see? - That's Corky. 978 00:41:22,875 --> 00:41:24,792 He probably would be saying, "Call me Grandpa." 979 00:41:24,875 --> 00:41:26,583 - Mm-hmm. - [chuckles] 980 00:41:26,667 --> 00:41:28,792 ♪ ♪ 981 00:41:28,875 --> 00:41:30,625 - I'm not lying. 982 00:41:30,709 --> 00:41:31,750 I didn't really think much 983 00:41:31,834 --> 00:41:34,000 about the demons my dad faced for a long time. 984 00:41:34,083 --> 00:41:36,291 ♪ ♪ 985 00:41:36,375 --> 00:41:39,000 But the truth I think I had to face 986 00:41:39,083 --> 00:41:43,166 was that I was haunted just like he was. 987 00:41:43,250 --> 00:41:45,166 Not what you want to have in common with your dad, 988 00:41:45,250 --> 00:41:47,417 but it is what it is. 989 00:41:51,041 --> 00:41:54,166 [indistinct audience chatter] 990 00:41:54,250 --> 00:41:58,000 - This will be C Sabathia's tenth career opening day start 991 00:41:58,083 --> 00:41:59,709 and fifth with the Yankees. 992 00:41:59,792 --> 00:42:01,834 - Here is the 0-2 to Ellsbury. 993 00:42:01,917 --> 00:42:04,166 Swung on. A little pop up to short. 994 00:42:04,250 --> 00:42:05,667 Núñez makes the catch 995 00:42:05,750 --> 00:42:07,250 on the edge of the outfield grass, 996 00:42:07,333 --> 00:42:11,458 and the 2013 season has officially begun in the Bronx. 997 00:42:11,542 --> 00:42:13,166 ♪ ♪ 998 00:42:13,250 --> 00:42:17,000 - Early in 2013, I started taking a pill called Antabuse 999 00:42:17,083 --> 00:42:20,000 where if you drink while you take this pill, 1000 00:42:20,083 --> 00:42:21,500 you'll violently get sick. 1001 00:42:21,583 --> 00:42:23,458 You'll start throwing up, throwing up. 1002 00:42:23,542 --> 00:42:25,041 ♪ ♪ 1003 00:42:25,125 --> 00:42:27,542 - But we realized that CC was hiding it. 1004 00:42:27,625 --> 00:42:29,166 Taking the pill, putting it in his mouth, 1005 00:42:29,250 --> 00:42:30,375 and spitting it out. 1006 00:42:30,458 --> 00:42:32,375 He was taking the pill, putting it in his pocket. 1007 00:42:32,458 --> 00:42:33,542 Or he was saying, 1008 00:42:33,625 --> 00:42:37,375 "Yeah, I took it," and not taking it. 1009 00:42:37,458 --> 00:42:38,875 - While I was taking the Antabuse, 1010 00:42:38,959 --> 00:42:41,000 and I'm not supposed to be drinking, you know, 1011 00:42:41,083 --> 00:42:43,208 really 2013, '14, and '15, 1012 00:42:43,291 --> 00:42:45,417 I'm still drinking the whole time. 1013 00:42:45,500 --> 00:42:47,542 I was trying to stop drinking for my mom and Amber 1014 00:42:47,625 --> 00:42:49,375 and get everybody off my back. 1015 00:42:49,458 --> 00:42:50,542 I didn't really wanna stop, 1016 00:42:50,625 --> 00:42:52,542 I just wanted people to get off my back. 1017 00:42:52,625 --> 00:42:55,375 So you know, that's a huge difference in, 1018 00:42:55,458 --> 00:42:57,500 you know, being sober for somebody else 1019 00:42:57,583 --> 00:43:01,083 and being sober and really staying sober for yourself. 1020 00:43:04,083 --> 00:43:05,583 - It's driven to right field and deep. 1021 00:43:05,667 --> 00:43:08,250 Going back. Young, still back, see ya. 1022 00:43:08,333 --> 00:43:10,625 Joe Girardi has seen enough of CC. 1023 00:43:10,709 --> 00:43:13,625 - A very short day for CC. 1024 00:43:13,709 --> 00:43:16,625 [faint booing] 1025 00:43:16,709 --> 00:43:18,625 ♪ ♪ 1026 00:43:18,709 --> 00:43:21,750 - Sabathia on Thursday. Awful yet again. 1027 00:43:21,834 --> 00:43:24,125 And this is a growing trend with CC Sabathia. 1028 00:43:24,208 --> 00:43:25,625 - Did you see CC Sabathia? 1029 00:43:25,709 --> 00:43:28,208 He should've been out of the rotation in May. 1030 00:43:28,291 --> 00:43:29,208 What are they waiting for? 1031 00:43:29,291 --> 00:43:30,250 - It's time to pull the plug on CC. 1032 00:43:30,333 --> 00:43:31,959 I think most Yankee fans have had enough. 1033 00:43:32,041 --> 00:43:34,959 He doesn't fool anybody and when he makes mistakes, 1034 00:43:35,041 --> 00:43:36,208 they leave the park. 1035 00:43:36,291 --> 00:43:37,333 - I think by 2015, 1036 00:43:37,417 --> 00:43:39,083 it had been pretty obvious for a few seasons 1037 00:43:39,166 --> 00:43:41,250 that I wasn't the same pitcher anymore. 1038 00:43:41,333 --> 00:43:46,375 ♪ ♪ 1039 00:43:46,458 --> 00:43:48,166 I struggled with some injuries, 1040 00:43:48,250 --> 00:43:51,291 and then I think the things I was doing away from the game, 1041 00:43:51,375 --> 00:43:53,959 it all became like a big cycle. 1042 00:43:54,041 --> 00:43:57,083 - And CC's still barking at Dan Bellino. 1043 00:43:57,166 --> 00:43:58,583 And now, I think he might've gotten ejected. 1044 00:43:58,667 --> 00:43:59,959 And Joe Girardi is kicking dirt 1045 00:44:00,041 --> 00:44:02,208 and he gets ejected as well. 1046 00:44:02,291 --> 00:44:04,500 - Bullshit! Fuck you, ump! 1047 00:44:04,583 --> 00:44:06,792 Horseshit! Horseshit, motherfucker! 1048 00:44:06,875 --> 00:44:08,291 It was really difficult to deal 1049 00:44:08,375 --> 00:44:12,959 with not being the guy who I was when I was at my best. 1050 00:44:13,041 --> 00:44:14,250 Off the field, you know, 1051 00:44:14,333 --> 00:44:18,625 I'm struggling even more than I ever have before. 1052 00:44:18,709 --> 00:44:22,667 The incidents that I had in 2015 1053 00:44:22,750 --> 00:44:27,166 I think just kind of signaled where I was at 1054 00:44:27,250 --> 00:44:30,166 where I just wasn't giving a fuck about anything. 1055 00:44:30,250 --> 00:44:33,500 Obviously, me standing on a balcony in Atlanta 1056 00:44:33,583 --> 00:44:35,917 smoking weed is not the best thing 1057 00:44:36,000 --> 00:44:38,542 for an athlete to be doing. 1058 00:44:38,625 --> 00:44:42,000 - I think that was the start of a really bad September. 1059 00:44:42,083 --> 00:44:44,000 He then goes off to Toronto, 1060 00:44:44,083 --> 00:44:46,792 drinks, gets in a huge fight outside the club. 1061 00:44:46,875 --> 00:44:48,375 [indistinct shouting] 1062 00:44:48,458 --> 00:44:50,500 - That never happens if I'm not drinking. 1063 00:44:50,583 --> 00:44:52,667 That could've been a horrible situation. 1064 00:44:52,750 --> 00:44:54,709 My cousin's trying to push me in a cab, 1065 00:44:54,792 --> 00:44:56,834 my shoe's coming off, it's embarrassing as hell. 1066 00:44:56,917 --> 00:44:59,792 [indistinct shouting] 1067 00:44:59,875 --> 00:45:03,667 I put my friends, teammates in a bad situation 1068 00:45:03,750 --> 00:45:06,291 and, you know, I just felt horrible about that. 1069 00:45:06,375 --> 00:45:10,458 And, you know, after Toronto, I knew I needed help. 1070 00:45:10,542 --> 00:45:13,709 I just didn't know if I had the balls to go get help. 1071 00:45:13,792 --> 00:45:16,250 If I--you know, if I had the courage to tell somebody 1072 00:45:16,333 --> 00:45:18,041 that I'm an alcoholic and I need to get help 1073 00:45:18,125 --> 00:45:20,291 and I can't stop. 1074 00:45:20,375 --> 00:45:22,709 [indistinct audience chatter] 1075 00:45:22,792 --> 00:45:27,375 - Lot of hard work from February to October. 1076 00:45:27,458 --> 00:45:29,250 Swung on and missed! 1077 00:45:29,333 --> 00:45:32,667 And the Yankees are going to the postseason. 1078 00:45:32,750 --> 00:45:34,583 [indistinct chatter] 1079 00:45:34,667 --> 00:45:35,709 - What does it feel like 1080 00:45:35,792 --> 00:45:36,834 to know you're going back to the postseason? 1081 00:45:36,917 --> 00:45:38,083 - No, it's a good feeling. 1082 00:45:38,166 --> 00:45:40,500 I mean just to work so hard the whole summer to spring, 1083 00:45:40,583 --> 00:45:44,166 you know, and to be here at the end feels good, you know? 1084 00:45:44,250 --> 00:45:45,166 - Yeah, it feels good! 1085 00:45:45,250 --> 00:45:47,041 - It's, uh-- [laughter] 1086 00:45:47,125 --> 00:45:49,166 Since Toronto, I hadn't had a drink. 1087 00:45:49,250 --> 00:45:51,875 And I didn't drink at all during the celebration. 1088 00:45:51,959 --> 00:45:54,083 And we get on the bus 1089 00:45:54,166 --> 00:45:57,417 and somebody handed me a bottle of, like, the white Hennessy. 1090 00:45:57,500 --> 00:45:58,917 And I think I finished it before 1091 00:45:59,000 --> 00:46:00,417 the bus got to the plane. 1092 00:46:00,500 --> 00:46:03,792 And that just kinda, you know, set the scene for, you know, 1093 00:46:03,875 --> 00:46:06,583 what ended up being a terrible weekend for me 1094 00:46:06,667 --> 00:46:09,291 but really changed my life. 1095 00:46:09,375 --> 00:46:12,375 [suspenseful music] 1096 00:46:12,458 --> 00:46:13,375 ♪ ♪ 1097 00:46:13,458 --> 00:46:15,709 We get to Baltimore that night. 1098 00:46:15,792 --> 00:46:18,750 I'm drinking the whole rest of the night. 1099 00:46:18,834 --> 00:46:21,417 I drink everything in the minibar. 1100 00:46:21,500 --> 00:46:23,500 [rain pattering] 1101 00:46:23,583 --> 00:46:26,917 The next day, we get rained out. 1102 00:46:27,000 --> 00:46:28,250 So once I know we get rained out, 1103 00:46:28,333 --> 00:46:29,750 then I order two bottles of Hennessy 1104 00:46:29,834 --> 00:46:32,083 from the room service downstairs. 1105 00:46:32,166 --> 00:46:34,500 ♪ ♪ 1106 00:46:34,583 --> 00:46:36,959 - I didn't talk to him that whole weekend. 1107 00:46:37,041 --> 00:46:40,125 I knew what was happening, I knew what it was gonna be, 1108 00:46:40,208 --> 00:46:41,917 and his cousin went out there, and he called me, and he said, 1109 00:46:42,000 --> 00:46:43,625 "I can't stop him." 1110 00:46:43,709 --> 00:46:45,291 He goes, "It's really bad, Amber. 1111 00:46:45,375 --> 00:46:46,458 I don't know what to do." 1112 00:46:46,542 --> 00:46:47,834 And I said, "You know what? 1113 00:46:47,917 --> 00:46:50,458 There's nothing that I can do anymore." 1114 00:46:50,542 --> 00:46:53,291 And I don't ever wanna say I was done, 1115 00:46:53,375 --> 00:46:55,291 because I wasn't done with CC. 1116 00:46:55,375 --> 00:46:57,667 I just done with dealing with that. 1117 00:46:57,750 --> 00:47:02,291 So, um, I kind of just gave it up to God, you know? 1118 00:47:02,375 --> 00:47:05,959 And... 1119 00:47:06,041 --> 00:47:08,583 [sighs] Sorry, guys. 1120 00:47:08,667 --> 00:47:11,458 [somber music] 1121 00:47:11,542 --> 00:47:15,291 ♪ ♪ 1122 00:47:15,375 --> 00:47:17,667 - Now here comes Sunday, last day of the season, 1123 00:47:17,750 --> 00:47:19,375 and I'm supposed to throw a bullpen. 1124 00:47:19,458 --> 00:47:22,875 ♪ ♪ 1125 00:47:22,959 --> 00:47:28,000 I showed up that morning feeling a little hungover. 1126 00:47:28,083 --> 00:47:29,834 Back then, what I would do if I felt hungover, 1127 00:47:29,917 --> 00:47:31,291 I'm going to get another drink. 1128 00:47:31,375 --> 00:47:32,625 So I immediately get to the stadium 1129 00:47:32,709 --> 00:47:35,208 and grabbed another drink before I even have breakfast. 1130 00:47:35,291 --> 00:47:39,041 And I'm supposed to throw a bullpen in a hour. 1131 00:47:39,125 --> 00:47:41,667 This is the first time in my life that, like, 1132 00:47:41,750 --> 00:47:45,542 I'm too drunk to do my job. 1133 00:47:45,625 --> 00:47:47,208 Now it's actually a fucking problem 1134 00:47:47,291 --> 00:47:48,667 because playoffs is coming, 1135 00:47:48,750 --> 00:47:50,041 I'm supposed to be getting ready, 1136 00:47:50,125 --> 00:47:51,208 and I can't throw a bullpen 1137 00:47:51,291 --> 00:47:54,041 because I'm actually too fucking drunk to do it. 1138 00:47:54,125 --> 00:48:01,166 ♪ ♪ 1139 00:48:04,583 --> 00:48:06,166 I had just had enough. I was sick of it. 1140 00:48:06,250 --> 00:48:10,542 I was just so exhausted of beating myself up, 1141 00:48:10,625 --> 00:48:13,709 of feeling bad, of embarrassing Amber, 1142 00:48:13,792 --> 00:48:16,709 embarrassing my family, embarrassing my teammates. 1143 00:48:16,792 --> 00:48:19,583 I grabbed Dellin Betances, I grabbed Chris Young, 1144 00:48:19,667 --> 00:48:23,000 and I was like, "Man, I think I need to go to rehab." 1145 00:48:23,083 --> 00:48:25,709 And, you know, Chris Young said to me, he said, 1146 00:48:25,792 --> 00:48:27,667 "You know, you gonna go in. You feel bad right now. 1147 00:48:27,750 --> 00:48:31,000 But if you go into rehab, you gonna come out a hero." 1148 00:48:31,083 --> 00:48:32,959 And, like, right when he said that, something just clicked 1149 00:48:33,041 --> 00:48:34,875 and was like, "You have to do this. 1150 00:48:34,959 --> 00:48:37,083 You have to do it and you have to make it public." 1151 00:48:37,166 --> 00:48:41,792 ♪ ♪ 1152 00:48:41,875 --> 00:48:45,709 I got a ride back to New York that day. 1153 00:48:45,792 --> 00:48:48,750 - A major hit for the Yankees on the eve of the playoffs. 1154 00:48:48,834 --> 00:48:51,542 Left-handed pitcher CC Sabathia announced Monday 1155 00:48:51,625 --> 00:48:53,583 he would check himself into a rehab center 1156 00:48:53,667 --> 00:48:56,458 to be treated for alcohol addiction. 1157 00:48:56,542 --> 00:48:58,458 - This news had to shock the Yankees. 1158 00:48:58,542 --> 00:49:00,583 - Yeah, completely. It took everybody by surprise. 1159 00:49:00,667 --> 00:49:02,750 - A lot of people are questioning the timing 1160 00:49:02,834 --> 00:49:04,291 and understandably so. 1161 00:49:04,375 --> 00:49:06,959 - He's got a lot of courage to stand up when he did 1162 00:49:07,041 --> 00:49:09,208 because he knew that his family 1163 00:49:09,291 --> 00:49:11,291 and his children were first. 1164 00:49:11,375 --> 00:49:14,333 ♪ ♪ 1165 00:49:14,417 --> 00:49:17,083 - You know, you're not really involved with players 1166 00:49:17,166 --> 00:49:19,917 away from the ballpark, so I had no idea 1167 00:49:20,000 --> 00:49:21,250 that, you know, CC was suffering 1168 00:49:21,333 --> 00:49:24,125 from this illness of alcoholism. 1169 00:49:24,208 --> 00:49:26,959 And when he raised his hand and acknowledged 1170 00:49:27,041 --> 00:49:28,458 that, you know, "I can't handle this. 1171 00:49:28,542 --> 00:49:30,792 I can't manage this. I need more support," 1172 00:49:30,875 --> 00:49:33,458 it was like, "We gotta help CC out 1173 00:49:33,542 --> 00:49:34,458 "and be there for him, 1174 00:49:34,542 --> 00:49:37,291 and whatever he needs, we're gonna do it." 1175 00:49:37,375 --> 00:49:39,458 - First thing I did when I was driving back from Baltimore 1176 00:49:39,542 --> 00:49:41,792 is went to the liquor store. 1177 00:49:41,875 --> 00:49:43,333 I went and grabbed two bottles of Hennessy. 1178 00:49:43,417 --> 00:49:47,291 This is my last time drinking? I'm getting fucked up. 1179 00:49:47,375 --> 00:49:49,250 ♪ ♪ 1180 00:49:49,333 --> 00:49:51,000 - He drank all the way home. 1181 00:49:51,083 --> 00:49:53,625 He got here, and of course, he was emotional, 1182 00:49:53,709 --> 00:49:56,959 he was crying, he was saying, you know, "I can't take this." 1183 00:49:57,041 --> 00:49:59,792 I said, "You know, I'm proud of you, thank you, 1184 00:49:59,875 --> 00:50:02,500 "I'm so glad you made this decision, this is amazing, 1185 00:50:02,583 --> 00:50:05,000 but now you gotta go." 1186 00:50:05,083 --> 00:50:07,333 [water tricking] 1187 00:50:07,417 --> 00:50:10,667 [birds chirping] 1188 00:50:10,750 --> 00:50:12,291 - When you first go to rehab, 1189 00:50:12,375 --> 00:50:13,500 they take all your shoelaces out. 1190 00:50:13,583 --> 00:50:15,291 You can't have any strings. 1191 00:50:15,375 --> 00:50:17,417 And, you know, any drawstrings in your sweats 1192 00:50:17,500 --> 00:50:19,000 and stuff like that. 1193 00:50:19,083 --> 00:50:20,291 And you realize, like, 1194 00:50:20,375 --> 00:50:22,834 how fucked up you let things get, you know? 1195 00:50:22,917 --> 00:50:25,834 Like, "Gosh, you couldn't stop drinking?" 1196 00:50:25,917 --> 00:50:28,166 Like, "You ended up in here? Like, look at you." 1197 00:50:28,250 --> 00:50:29,875 And then that night, the very first night, 1198 00:50:29,959 --> 00:50:32,000 that night, we're playing the Astros 1199 00:50:32,083 --> 00:50:34,333 in the fucking wildcard game. 1200 00:50:34,417 --> 00:50:37,458 I'm walking around a rehab facility with sweats on, 1201 00:50:37,542 --> 00:50:39,375 no shoestrings in my shoes, 1202 00:50:39,458 --> 00:50:41,625 watching my teammates play in Yankee Stadium. 1203 00:50:41,709 --> 00:50:43,583 Like, that's how fucked up I got. 1204 00:50:43,667 --> 00:50:45,208 Like, "That's how bad you let shit get 1205 00:50:45,291 --> 00:50:47,417 that you can't even be there for your teammates." 1206 00:50:47,500 --> 00:50:49,041 Like, that was a fucked up feeling. 1207 00:50:49,125 --> 00:50:50,542 That was a rock bottom. 1208 00:50:50,625 --> 00:50:52,917 [birds chirping] 1209 00:50:53,000 --> 00:50:57,709 ♪ ♪ 1210 00:50:57,792 --> 00:51:02,375 Going into rehab, I wanted to dive deep 1211 00:51:02,458 --> 00:51:04,041 and figure out what was really my problem, 1212 00:51:04,125 --> 00:51:06,709 why I was really drinking, and why I couldn't stop. 1213 00:51:06,792 --> 00:51:08,709 And, you know, the first couple days, 1214 00:51:08,792 --> 00:51:10,041 you know, we had some assignments, 1215 00:51:10,125 --> 00:51:15,000 and one of the assignments was to write a letter to myself 1216 00:51:15,083 --> 00:51:17,375 as one of my family members. 1217 00:51:17,458 --> 00:51:20,875 You know, as if I passed away from, you know, alcoholism, 1218 00:51:20,959 --> 00:51:24,834 or, you know, got into an accident. 1219 00:51:24,917 --> 00:51:28,291 So I chose to write the letter as Little C. 1220 00:51:28,375 --> 00:51:32,291 I chose to write the letter as Carsten to me. 1221 00:51:32,375 --> 00:51:35,250 My roommate at the time pretended to be me 1222 00:51:35,333 --> 00:51:39,917 and I'm Carsten as I'm reading the letter to him, 1223 00:51:40,000 --> 00:51:44,208 and I get halfway through this letter that I wrote, 1224 00:51:44,291 --> 00:51:48,625 and I realize it's me talking to my father. 1225 00:51:48,709 --> 00:51:51,583 ♪ ♪ 1226 00:51:51,667 --> 00:51:52,959 I got halfway through it, 1227 00:51:53,041 --> 00:51:57,417 and I'm talking about all the things that I missed about him 1228 00:51:57,500 --> 00:51:59,291 and how much that hurt 1229 00:51:59,375 --> 00:52:02,583 and how much I'm still hurt by it. 1230 00:52:02,667 --> 00:52:06,417 And right then, 1231 00:52:06,500 --> 00:52:08,917 I just knew I was never gonna have a drink again. 1232 00:52:09,041 --> 00:52:11,417 [soft dramatic music] 1233 00:52:11,500 --> 00:52:13,125 ♪ ♪ 1234 00:52:13,208 --> 00:52:15,125 I just felt like this weight lifted off me, 1235 00:52:15,208 --> 00:52:19,083 like it was all the stuff I needed to say to my dad 1236 00:52:19,166 --> 00:52:20,458 that I never got a chance to say 1237 00:52:20,542 --> 00:52:22,500 or never got a chance to feel. 1238 00:52:22,583 --> 00:52:25,625 And in this letter that I'm writing as Carsten to myself, 1239 00:52:25,709 --> 00:52:28,000 it's me talking to my father. 1240 00:52:28,083 --> 00:52:30,959 ♪ ♪ 1241 00:52:31,041 --> 00:52:33,125 That was all I needed. 1242 00:52:33,208 --> 00:52:36,375 I figured out what my problem was 1243 00:52:36,458 --> 00:52:38,959 and what I needed to say and, you know, 1244 00:52:39,041 --> 00:52:41,917 how much I missed my dad and stopped running from that. 1245 00:52:42,000 --> 00:52:48,959 ♪ ♪ 1246 00:52:49,041 --> 00:52:51,333 I hope that rehab has made me a better father. 1247 00:52:51,417 --> 00:52:52,667 I hope that, you know, 1248 00:52:52,750 --> 00:52:54,709 rehab has made me a better person. 1249 00:52:54,792 --> 00:52:56,834 ♪ ♪ 1250 00:52:56,917 --> 00:52:57,959 All I can tell you is 1251 00:52:58,041 --> 00:52:59,542 today, I know I'm not gonna have a drink, 1252 00:52:59,625 --> 00:53:00,834 and that's all you can do as an alcoholic 1253 00:53:00,917 --> 00:53:02,834 is take it one day at a time. 1254 00:53:02,917 --> 00:53:04,917 ♪ ♪ 1255 00:53:05,000 --> 00:53:07,667 - We did it. He did it. 1256 00:53:07,750 --> 00:53:12,125 We did family therapy. We did the whole process. 1257 00:53:12,208 --> 00:53:13,375 [sniffles] 1258 00:53:13,458 --> 00:53:18,500 But the fact that he finally admitted to having a problem 1259 00:53:18,583 --> 00:53:21,583 and realizing that he was done, and he was over... 1260 00:53:21,667 --> 00:53:23,291 [sniffles] 1261 00:53:23,375 --> 00:53:27,500 Was the best thing for this family. 1262 00:53:27,583 --> 00:53:29,333 Alcoholism is so real, 1263 00:53:29,417 --> 00:53:32,041 and there's so many people that deal with this. 1264 00:53:32,125 --> 00:53:34,208 But because of baseball 1265 00:53:34,291 --> 00:53:37,375 and the passion that CC had for baseball, 1266 00:53:37,458 --> 00:53:41,375 it made him realize that family, his career, 1267 00:53:41,458 --> 00:53:44,083 was much more important than alcohol, 1268 00:53:44,166 --> 00:53:48,041 and he was able to fight it, overcome it, 1269 00:53:48,125 --> 00:53:49,542 and finish his career. 1270 00:53:49,625 --> 00:53:51,208 ♪ ♪ 1271 00:53:51,291 --> 00:53:53,208 - Here's Pérez. Shortening up. 1272 00:53:53,291 --> 00:53:57,542 CC slides and Pérez is retired. 1273 00:53:57,625 --> 00:53:59,875 - Being able to come out of rehab, '16, '17, '18, 1274 00:53:59,959 --> 00:54:01,542 and really pitch in '19, 1275 00:54:01,625 --> 00:54:02,709 that's the biggest accomplishment in my career, 1276 00:54:02,792 --> 00:54:03,750 I think. 1277 00:54:03,834 --> 00:54:05,500 - And the pitch. 1278 00:54:05,583 --> 00:54:07,333 Struck him out swinging. Slider. 1279 00:54:07,417 --> 00:54:10,041 How do you like the game Sabathia's pitching? 1280 00:54:10,125 --> 00:54:11,625 ♪ ♪ 1281 00:54:11,709 --> 00:54:13,875 - The support I had from around the league, 1282 00:54:14,000 --> 00:54:15,917 the support I had from my teammates, 1283 00:54:16,000 --> 00:54:17,542 it definitely lifted me. 1284 00:54:17,625 --> 00:54:20,875 It helped me, you know, to go on and finish my career. 1285 00:54:20,959 --> 00:54:25,375 ♪ ♪ 1286 00:54:25,458 --> 00:54:28,458 [indistinct audience chatter] 1287 00:54:39,166 --> 00:54:41,917 You know, I never really had any doubts about retiring 1288 00:54:42,000 --> 00:54:44,792 all through the 2019 season. 1289 00:54:46,208 --> 00:54:50,083 - CC still knows how to get it done. 1290 00:54:50,166 --> 00:54:52,417 Once was so dominating. 1291 00:54:52,500 --> 00:54:54,834 - I mean, by the time I was standing on that mound 1292 00:54:54,917 --> 00:54:56,834 against the Astros in the playoffs, 1293 00:54:56,917 --> 00:54:58,875 I was 39 years old. 1294 00:54:58,959 --> 00:55:00,625 And honestly, by this point, 1295 00:55:00,709 --> 00:55:03,583 my left shoulder had been killing me for weeks. 1296 00:55:05,041 --> 00:55:06,291 - That's lined to right. 1297 00:55:06,375 --> 00:55:08,166 Judge comes on, makes the catch. 1298 00:55:08,250 --> 00:55:10,625 Throw back to second. 1299 00:55:10,709 --> 00:55:13,625 Dropped by Gregorius. 1300 00:55:13,709 --> 00:55:15,083 - It wasn't like pitching through pain 1301 00:55:15,166 --> 00:55:16,959 was something new, though. 1302 00:55:17,041 --> 00:55:20,834 So that night, I was just gonna do what I always did: 1303 00:55:20,917 --> 00:55:23,834 put it out of my mind and try to come through for the team. 1304 00:55:23,917 --> 00:55:25,625 ♪ ♪ 1305 00:55:25,709 --> 00:55:28,333 - 2-2 pitch. Díaz... 1306 00:55:28,417 --> 00:55:29,333 pops it up. 1307 00:55:29,417 --> 00:55:31,000 Backing up is Torres. 1308 00:55:31,083 --> 00:55:32,750 He stumbles out of the way 1309 00:55:32,834 --> 00:55:35,083 as Judge comes all the way out to catch it. 1310 00:55:35,166 --> 00:55:37,834 ♪ ♪ 1311 00:55:37,917 --> 00:55:39,041 - Yeah, the perfect ending 1312 00:55:39,125 --> 00:55:40,834 would have been to cap off my last season 1313 00:55:40,917 --> 00:55:43,000 with another parade downtown. 1314 00:55:43,083 --> 00:55:45,166 [indistinct audience chatter] 1315 00:55:45,250 --> 00:55:47,000 - They're gonna want to go check on possibly 1316 00:55:47,083 --> 00:55:50,500 something that didn't feel right. 1317 00:55:50,583 --> 00:55:52,208 - He's in obvious pain 1318 00:55:52,291 --> 00:55:55,500 and he's trying to loosen up that left shoulder. 1319 00:55:55,583 --> 00:55:59,542 - But remember, you don't get to control how things end. 1320 00:55:59,625 --> 00:56:02,500 It's just not the way life works. 1321 00:56:02,583 --> 00:56:05,875 - Sabathia's gonna toss a pitch or two, 1322 00:56:05,959 --> 00:56:08,291 much to the delight of this Yankee Stadium crowd, 1323 00:56:08,375 --> 00:56:11,291 to see if he's all right to continue. 1324 00:56:11,375 --> 00:56:13,875 [whistling and cheering] 1325 00:56:13,959 --> 00:56:15,750 ♪ ♪ 1326 00:56:15,834 --> 00:56:17,667 And I think they're gonna take him out of the game. 1327 00:56:17,750 --> 00:56:19,709 - Yes. 1328 00:56:19,792 --> 00:56:21,000 He's got his head down, 1329 00:56:21,083 --> 00:56:23,709 but the fans are gonna show him an awful lot of love. 1330 00:56:23,792 --> 00:56:24,709 This is the last time 1331 00:56:24,792 --> 00:56:27,041 you're gonna see him on the mound here. 1332 00:56:27,125 --> 00:56:30,041 [cheers and applause] 1333 00:56:30,125 --> 00:56:37,125 ♪ ♪ 1334 00:57:02,500 --> 00:57:03,709 - What'd you tell me right before playoffs 1335 00:57:03,792 --> 00:57:05,250 when I said, "Oh, you're gonna join the roster? 1336 00:57:05,333 --> 00:57:07,208 And you're like, "They're gonna have to wheel me off." 1337 00:57:07,291 --> 00:57:08,208 - Yeah. 1338 00:57:08,291 --> 00:57:09,208 - And that's what had to happen. 1339 00:57:09,291 --> 00:57:10,250 - It's the only way. 1340 00:57:10,333 --> 00:57:11,291 - Like you said, 1341 00:57:11,375 --> 00:57:12,792 "They're gonna have to wheel me off this mound. 1342 00:57:12,875 --> 00:57:15,875 "I'm not gonna say no. I'm gonna say I can pitch. 1343 00:57:15,959 --> 00:57:18,083 I'ma go out there and give it everything." 1344 00:57:18,166 --> 00:57:21,917 And so for it to happen to you, you weren't surprised, 1345 00:57:22,000 --> 00:57:24,208 and I think even for me in the stands when I was sitting there 1346 00:57:24,291 --> 00:57:26,083 and I was like, "Oh, it's his shoulder." 1347 00:57:26,166 --> 00:57:28,709 Like, it wasn't like, "Oh, my God! Something popped!" 1348 00:57:28,792 --> 00:57:29,917 Or, "Something's wrong." 1349 00:57:30,000 --> 00:57:31,166 I was like, "Oh, it's his shoulder. 1350 00:57:31,250 --> 00:57:33,959 Yeah, that's like-- - Like we knew. 1351 00:57:34,041 --> 00:57:35,500 - Almost like it's expected to happen. 1352 00:57:35,583 --> 00:57:37,083 - Yeah. - We just didn't know when. 1353 00:57:37,166 --> 00:57:41,417 - To get that ovation on the way out, man I mean, you know, 1354 00:57:41,500 --> 00:57:43,792 it was awesome. 1355 00:57:43,875 --> 00:57:45,625 And, honestly, to be able to pitch. 1356 00:57:45,709 --> 00:57:49,542 I didn't think I was gonna be able to pitch in the playoffs, 1357 00:57:49,625 --> 00:57:52,333 and that's all I wanted to do, and man, 1358 00:57:52,417 --> 00:57:54,417 I was so nervous and everything, 1359 00:57:54,500 --> 00:57:55,625 you know, around it, 1360 00:57:55,709 --> 00:57:58,125 but when I'm in those games, that's like-- 1361 00:57:58,208 --> 00:58:00,291 that's what I was put here to do is pitch in those games. 1362 00:58:00,375 --> 00:58:03,000 So I'm glad I got a chance to do that one more time 1363 00:58:03,083 --> 00:58:06,709 whether it was for one batter or a couple. 1364 00:58:06,792 --> 00:58:09,625 2/3 of an inning or whatever. 1365 00:58:09,709 --> 00:58:11,959 I'm not really sad, you know what I'm saying? 1366 00:58:12,041 --> 00:58:14,583 It's just... 1367 00:58:14,667 --> 00:58:15,625 kinda is what it is. 1368 00:58:15,709 --> 00:58:16,917 I'm more sad about us getting our asses kicked 1369 00:58:17,000 --> 00:58:18,000 by these fucking assholes 1370 00:58:18,083 --> 00:58:21,083 than I am not being able to pitch. 1371 00:58:21,166 --> 00:58:28,208 ♪ ♪ 1372 00:58:39,583 --> 00:58:42,458 - It's been a privilege. - Oh, thank you. 1373 00:58:42,542 --> 00:58:44,333 - You don't get what you mean to people, do you? 1374 00:58:44,417 --> 00:58:45,500 - [chuckles] I don't think so. 1375 00:58:45,583 --> 00:58:47,041 - Come into my office. 1376 00:58:47,125 --> 00:58:48,959 ♪ ♪ 1377 00:58:49,041 --> 00:58:50,625 - I know you didn't want to go out like this obviously, 1378 00:58:50,709 --> 00:58:52,125 but how would you kind of sum up 1379 00:58:52,208 --> 00:58:53,834 this being, you know, the end for you? 1380 00:58:53,917 --> 00:58:56,458 - This is kind of the best way for it to end for me 1381 00:58:56,542 --> 00:58:58,625 because the way I've been feeling, 1382 00:58:58,709 --> 00:59:00,417 loving the bullpen, jogging out, 1383 00:59:00,500 --> 00:59:01,417 feeling pretty good. 1384 00:59:01,500 --> 00:59:03,375 I feel like about July of next year, 1385 00:59:03,458 --> 00:59:05,417 I would've been like, "I think I can pitch." 1386 00:59:05,500 --> 00:59:08,250 So I think it's just kind of fitting, you know? 1387 00:59:08,333 --> 00:59:10,333 I threw until I couldn't anymore. 1388 00:59:10,417 --> 00:59:12,375 That's what I signed up to do. 1389 00:59:12,458 --> 00:59:14,500 You know, pitch as long as I could 1390 00:59:14,583 --> 00:59:16,250 and, you know, as hard as I could 1391 00:59:16,333 --> 00:59:17,375 and take the ball every time out. 1392 00:59:17,458 --> 00:59:21,542 So, um, yeah, I have no regrets at all. 1393 00:59:21,625 --> 00:59:27,375 ♪ ♪ 1394 00:59:27,458 --> 00:59:29,083 Four days later, 1395 00:59:29,166 --> 00:59:32,667 the season was over for the rest of the team, too, 1396 00:59:32,750 --> 00:59:33,709 and so I was back at the stadium 1397 00:59:33,792 --> 00:59:35,250 to clean out my locker, 1398 00:59:35,333 --> 00:59:38,500 another part of saying goodbye. 1399 00:59:38,583 --> 00:59:40,000 I don't even know where to start, guys. 1400 00:59:40,083 --> 00:59:41,583 - Yeah. 1401 00:59:41,667 --> 00:59:44,917 - Man, there's so much shit in here. 1402 00:59:45,000 --> 00:59:46,709 Gloves and shit, like. 1403 00:59:46,792 --> 00:59:49,959 When I got home and I was by myself... 1404 00:59:50,041 --> 00:59:52,458 and that shit must've just hit me like-- 1405 00:59:52,542 --> 00:59:53,917 it was all over, you know what I'm saying? 1406 00:59:54,000 --> 00:59:55,250 Like, God. 1407 00:59:55,333 --> 00:59:59,083 I was crushed Sunday night when we got back. 1408 00:59:59,166 --> 01:00:01,083 It was bad. - Oh, man. 1409 01:00:01,166 --> 01:00:02,917 - Love you, bud. - Love you, brother. 1410 01:00:03,000 --> 01:00:05,083 - I'll see you soon. - Yes, sir. 1411 01:00:05,166 --> 01:00:07,083 See you guys. 1412 01:00:07,166 --> 01:00:08,250 - Be back up here at some point. 1413 01:00:08,333 --> 01:00:10,875 - All right. Bye. 1414 01:00:10,959 --> 01:00:13,083 All right. You ready, Skip? 1415 01:00:13,166 --> 01:00:15,417 - You got room for this? 1416 01:00:15,500 --> 01:00:16,458 - I'll be back in the morning. 1417 01:00:16,542 --> 01:00:18,583 - All right. I'll be out this afternoon. 1418 01:00:18,667 --> 01:00:19,625 Can't thank you enough, brother. 1419 01:00:19,709 --> 01:00:20,709 - Of course. - For everything. 1420 01:00:20,792 --> 01:00:22,125 For everything you gave, everything you meant. 1421 01:00:22,208 --> 01:00:23,166 Man, I love you, brother. 1422 01:00:23,250 --> 01:00:24,208 - Love you too. - You bet. 1423 01:00:24,291 --> 01:00:25,208 Need anything, let me know. - Yeah. 1424 01:00:25,291 --> 01:00:28,125 We're going out. Out. 1425 01:00:28,208 --> 01:00:29,792 ♪ ♪ 1426 01:00:29,875 --> 01:00:32,333 [groans] 1427 01:00:32,417 --> 01:00:33,333 This feels good. 1428 01:00:33,417 --> 01:00:35,458 - It does? - Yeah. 1429 01:00:35,542 --> 01:00:37,583 Feels right. 1430 01:00:37,667 --> 01:00:39,667 It's time, cuz. 1431 01:00:39,750 --> 01:00:46,709 ♪ ♪ 1432 01:00:52,875 --> 01:00:55,125 I don't miss being a baseball player at all. 1433 01:00:55,208 --> 01:00:57,125 I think I was done with the competition. 1434 01:00:57,208 --> 01:00:59,125 I'm so intense. 1435 01:00:59,208 --> 01:01:03,291 And I think it was taking a toll on my life so much. 1436 01:01:03,375 --> 01:01:05,083 I think I was kinda ready to be done. 1437 01:01:05,166 --> 01:01:08,083 ♪ ♪ 1438 01:01:08,166 --> 01:01:11,375 You know, I think, had I not finished my career, 1439 01:01:11,458 --> 01:01:13,667 didn't get to go out on my own terms, 1440 01:01:13,750 --> 01:01:17,417 I would maybe feel differently, but I'm at peace with, 1441 01:01:17,500 --> 01:01:22,542 you know, just being a dad and kinda of hanging out now. 1442 01:01:22,625 --> 01:01:28,291 ♪ ♪ 1443 01:01:28,375 --> 01:01:31,208 [crickets chirping] 1444 01:01:31,291 --> 01:01:33,709 ♪ ♪ 1445 01:01:33,792 --> 01:01:36,291 It's extremely exciting to be that baseball dad 1446 01:01:36,375 --> 01:01:39,333 with my wagon and my chair, my cooler, 1447 01:01:39,417 --> 01:01:42,041 and all my snacks and just be out there at the ballpark. 1448 01:01:42,125 --> 01:01:43,542 ♪ ♪ 1449 01:01:43,625 --> 01:01:45,875 Let's go, C. 1450 01:01:45,959 --> 01:01:48,166 ♪ ♪ 1451 01:01:48,250 --> 01:01:50,500 Mm, good swing. - Heads up, first base! 1452 01:01:50,583 --> 01:01:51,750 - This is life. 1453 01:01:51,834 --> 01:01:54,208 This is what, you know, it's what I worked so hard for. 1454 01:01:54,291 --> 01:01:56,041 To be able to watch him and, you know, 1455 01:01:56,125 --> 01:01:58,208 it's a blessing that he's healthy and he can play 1456 01:01:58,291 --> 01:01:59,375 and you know, 1457 01:01:59,458 --> 01:02:01,041 he's playing in some of these big tournaments now, 1458 01:02:01,125 --> 01:02:02,667 so it's just a lot of fun. 1459 01:02:02,750 --> 01:02:04,542 - Strike! 1460 01:02:04,625 --> 01:02:06,000 - I just always known, you know, 1461 01:02:06,083 --> 01:02:07,333 I wanted to play baseball. 1462 01:02:07,417 --> 01:02:08,542 Since I was born, being in, 1463 01:02:08,625 --> 01:02:10,375 you know, Major League stadiums, 1464 01:02:10,458 --> 01:02:12,250 watching baseball games my entire life, 1465 01:02:12,333 --> 01:02:13,667 that definitely had something to do with it, 1466 01:02:13,750 --> 01:02:15,333 something that pushed me, you know. 1467 01:02:15,417 --> 01:02:17,875 It's definitely a motivating factor for sure. 1468 01:02:17,959 --> 01:02:20,542 [scattered applause] 1469 01:02:20,625 --> 01:02:22,709 Man, it's awesome having my Dad there. 1470 01:02:22,792 --> 01:02:23,709 To be there for the games, you know, 1471 01:02:23,792 --> 01:02:24,709 I can kinda look over my shoulder 1472 01:02:24,792 --> 01:02:25,875 and see him there, you know. 1473 01:02:25,959 --> 01:02:27,041 Like, it's pretty cool 1474 01:02:27,125 --> 01:02:29,083 not having to, like, wait 30 minutes after the game, 1475 01:02:29,166 --> 01:02:31,000 FaceTime him, you know, text back and forth, 1476 01:02:31,083 --> 01:02:32,417 wait for a couple responses, you know. 1477 01:02:32,500 --> 01:02:34,583 I can get his feedback and input right then and there, 1478 01:02:34,667 --> 01:02:35,875 so it's something 1479 01:02:35,959 --> 01:02:38,125 that definitely helps my game a lot. 1480 01:02:39,959 --> 01:02:41,792 - So you don't wanna swing at the first pitch? 1481 01:02:41,875 --> 01:02:43,166 - Yeah. 1482 01:02:43,834 --> 01:02:45,750 - Runner on third, less than two outs, 1483 01:02:45,834 --> 01:02:46,917 early in the game, 1484 01:02:47,000 --> 01:02:48,125 and there's only a runner on third? 1485 01:02:48,208 --> 01:02:49,291 Then you swing at the first pitch. 1486 01:02:49,375 --> 01:02:50,709 - Yeah. 1487 01:02:50,792 --> 01:02:54,583 - When I sit and watch or I go to Carson's games, 1488 01:02:54,667 --> 01:02:57,458 I know my dad would be right there with me. 1489 01:02:57,542 --> 01:03:00,750 That makes me miss him a lot. 1490 01:03:00,834 --> 01:03:02,125 There's not a day that goes by 1491 01:03:02,208 --> 01:03:04,417 that something don't make me miss my dad. 1492 01:03:04,500 --> 01:03:08,417 But I know my dad 1,000% is watching. 1493 01:03:08,500 --> 01:03:10,083 One more. - All right. 1494 01:03:10,166 --> 01:03:12,959 [soft upbeat music] 1495 01:03:13,041 --> 01:03:14,625 There you go. 1496 01:03:14,709 --> 01:03:19,125 ♪ ♪ 1497 01:03:19,208 --> 01:03:20,875 - It's definitely been a roller-coaster ride. 1498 01:03:20,959 --> 01:03:22,625 There's ups, there's downs, 1499 01:03:22,709 --> 01:03:24,458 there's things that happen that you don't plan. 1500 01:03:24,542 --> 01:03:27,291 We never planned on CC to have a clogged artery and, you know, 1501 01:03:27,375 --> 01:03:31,417 possibly end his career or possibly die from. 1502 01:03:31,500 --> 01:03:33,625 No idea that CC would, at some point, 1503 01:03:33,709 --> 01:03:36,125 deal with, you know, addiction and alcohol 1504 01:03:36,208 --> 01:03:38,959 and admit his self that he had an addiction 1505 01:03:39,041 --> 01:03:41,917 and put his self into rehab. 1506 01:03:42,000 --> 01:03:44,917 Through it all, it's been a hell of a ride. 1507 01:03:45,000 --> 01:03:48,000 ♪ ♪ 1508 01:03:48,083 --> 01:03:49,625 - I went through this thing 20 years 1509 01:03:49,709 --> 01:03:51,333 and kind of did it my way. 1510 01:03:51,417 --> 01:03:53,750 ♪ ♪ 1511 01:03:53,834 --> 01:03:54,750 Every single day, 1512 01:03:54,834 --> 01:03:55,959 I wake up grateful that I'm sober, 1513 01:03:56,041 --> 01:03:58,792 that I have people that love me that are around me, 1514 01:03:58,875 --> 01:04:00,500 and that I'm, you know, I'm healthy enough to go out 1515 01:04:00,583 --> 01:04:02,458 and do the things that I love to do. 1516 01:04:02,542 --> 01:04:07,166 ♪ ♪ 1517 01:04:07,250 --> 01:04:10,208 - ♪ You're light for me ♪ 1518 01:04:10,291 --> 01:04:12,667 ♪ My only son ♪ 1519 01:04:12,750 --> 01:04:16,375 ♪ You'll always shine ♪ 1520 01:04:16,458 --> 01:04:17,834 ♪ For me ♪ 1521 01:04:17,917 --> 01:04:20,458 ♪ Shine a light on me ♪ 1522 01:04:20,542 --> 01:04:24,208 ♪ Shine your light all over me ♪ 1523 01:04:24,291 --> 01:04:25,667 - I think I'd probably say 1524 01:04:25,750 --> 01:04:28,500 the thing that surprises me most about my life now 1525 01:04:28,583 --> 01:04:30,667 is how full it is without baseball. 1526 01:04:30,750 --> 01:04:31,667 All right, what's up, everybody? 1527 01:04:31,750 --> 01:04:33,542 We back. Another "R2C2." 1528 01:04:33,625 --> 01:04:36,000 How many different things I'm enjoying doing... 1529 01:04:36,083 --> 01:04:38,625 Besides Mo, was nobody else down there 1530 01:04:38,709 --> 01:04:40,917 that can get this out besides me. 1531 01:04:41,000 --> 01:04:44,542 How much I feel like I have to live for, 1532 01:04:44,625 --> 01:04:47,667 how much purpose I'm finding away from the field. 1533 01:04:47,750 --> 01:04:49,375 - What do we want? all: Justice! 1534 01:04:49,458 --> 01:04:51,083 - When do we want it? all: Now! 1535 01:04:51,166 --> 01:04:53,542 ♪ ♪ 1536 01:04:53,625 --> 01:04:54,875 - When I think back to those days 1537 01:04:54,959 --> 01:04:57,166 in my grandmother's backyard, 1538 01:04:57,250 --> 01:04:59,500 all the dreams I had back then, 1539 01:04:59,583 --> 01:05:01,792 it's just crazy. 1540 01:05:01,875 --> 01:05:03,333 It all came true. 1541 01:05:03,417 --> 01:05:09,625 ♪ ♪ 1542 01:05:11,875 --> 01:05:13,041 For so many years, 1543 01:05:13,125 --> 01:05:15,417 no matter what was going on in my life, 1544 01:05:15,500 --> 01:05:18,250 the game was this place that always gave me refuge. 1545 01:05:18,333 --> 01:05:20,500 ♪ ♪ 1546 01:05:20,583 --> 01:05:21,959 - Go, go! 1547 01:05:22,041 --> 01:05:23,417 ♪ ♪ 1548 01:05:23,500 --> 01:05:25,291 [cheers and applause] 1549 01:05:25,375 --> 01:05:30,542 ♪ ♪ 1550 01:05:30,625 --> 01:05:33,583 - But now I'm 40 years old, 1551 01:05:33,667 --> 01:05:35,583 and after everything I've gone through, 1552 01:05:35,667 --> 01:05:37,458 I don't need baseball to find peace. 1553 01:05:37,542 --> 01:05:40,417 ♪ ♪ 1554 01:05:40,500 --> 01:05:43,041 I'm ready to face the world 1555 01:05:43,125 --> 01:05:45,417 and take on whatever comes my way. 1556 01:05:45,500 --> 01:05:51,291 - ♪ A mile apart, leave and be free ♪ 1557 01:05:51,375 --> 01:05:53,583 ♪ A mile apart ♪ 1558 01:05:53,667 --> 01:05:56,375 [dramatic piano music] 1559 01:05:56,458 --> 01:06:03,500 ♪ ♪ 1560 01:07:02,875 --> 01:07:05,750 announcer: This has been a presentation of HBO Sports.