WEBVTT FILE 1 00:00:02.000 --> 00:00:07.000 Downloaded from YTS.MX 2 00:00:08.000 --> 00:00:13.000 Official YIFY movies site: YTS.MX 3 00:00:14.083 --> 00:00:15.000 announcer: The following 4 00:00:15.083 --> 00:00:17.041 is a presentation of HBO Sports. 5 00:00:45.291 --> 00:00:49.417 - You don't get to control how things end. 6 00:00:49.500 --> 00:00:52.083 That's just not the way life works. 7 00:00:59.125 --> 00:01:01.542 Happily ever after? 8 00:01:01.625 --> 00:01:05.041 That shit isn't guaranteed. 9 00:01:05.125 --> 00:01:07.000 I mean, you work hard, 10 00:01:07.083 --> 00:01:08.750 you'll get some nice things coming to you... 11 00:01:10.792 --> 00:01:13.208 But it doesn't matter what you do. 12 00:01:13.291 --> 00:01:15.583 You can't prevent the bad stuff from coming too. 13 00:01:18.792 --> 00:01:20.208 For a long time, 14 00:01:20.291 --> 00:01:22.208 I don't think I knew how to handle that reality. 15 00:01:24.166 --> 00:01:26.250 That's where addiction came in. 16 00:01:28.333 --> 00:01:30.417 And honestly, I almost blew it all. 17 00:01:33.709 --> 00:01:36.083 To this day, I don't think people realize 18 00:01:36.166 --> 00:01:38.959 how close I came to losing everything. 19 00:01:43.959 --> 00:01:45.750 That's why I wanted to film some big parts 20 00:01:45.834 --> 00:01:49.375 of the last year of my career in 2019, 21 00:01:49.458 --> 00:01:53.375 to document the ending of that chapter in my life, 22 00:01:53.458 --> 00:01:54.500 to try and show that 23 00:01:54.583 --> 00:01:56.750 I can have my own kind of happily ever after 24 00:01:56.834 --> 00:01:59.834 after everything I went through. 25 00:01:59.917 --> 00:02:01.250 But then I kind of realized 26 00:02:01.333 --> 00:02:04.750 the end of a story doesn't mean anything 27 00:02:04.834 --> 00:02:07.417 if you don't know everything that came before it. 28 00:02:08.500 --> 00:02:09.917 - What a pitch. 29 00:02:10.000 --> 00:02:11.125 - Brewers win! - Yeah! 30 00:02:11.208 --> 00:02:13.250 - CC has done it! 31 00:02:15.208 --> 00:02:17.458 - Come on, C! - Go, C! 32 00:02:17.542 --> 00:02:19.291 - You wanna know where it all started? 33 00:02:19.375 --> 00:02:21.625 - Dig, C, dig! 34 00:02:21.709 --> 00:02:25.834 - Vallejo, California, my grandmother's backyard. 35 00:02:25.917 --> 00:02:28.625 She had this big, old grapefruit tree, 36 00:02:28.709 --> 00:02:33.000 and I'd go back there, pick up all these grapefruits, 37 00:02:33.083 --> 00:02:34.917 and throw 'em at a folding chair. 38 00:02:36.875 --> 00:02:39.458 The grapefruit was my baseball, 39 00:02:39.542 --> 00:02:42.458 the chair was my strike zone, 40 00:02:42.542 --> 00:02:44.959 the backyard was where I could dream 41 00:02:45.041 --> 00:02:47.208 about everything in the world I could ever want. 42 00:02:49.959 --> 00:02:52.500 I tell you, I never forgot what it felt like 43 00:02:52.583 --> 00:02:54.166 to be in that backyard. 44 00:02:54.250 --> 00:02:55.625 And looking back now, 45 00:02:55.709 --> 00:02:57.625 I feel like my whole journey in life 46 00:02:57.709 --> 00:03:00.208 was about getting back there: 47 00:03:00.291 --> 00:03:02.875 Getting back to that yard and that tree 48 00:03:02.959 --> 00:03:06.166 and how they made me feel. 49 00:03:06.250 --> 00:03:07.834 It wasn't easy, 50 00:03:07.917 --> 00:03:10.208 but I had to figure out a way home. 51 00:03:26.250 --> 00:03:27.500 - Perfect. 52 00:03:27.583 --> 00:03:30.500 So let me remind you how it works. 53 00:03:30.583 --> 00:03:36.041 After Priscilla takes pictures of your heart, starts slowly 54 00:03:36.125 --> 00:03:38.625 and gets faster and steeper every three minutes. 55 00:03:40.625 --> 00:03:41.667 - All right, 56 00:03:41.750 --> 00:03:43.709 so I'm gonna have you turn over on the left side. 57 00:03:43.792 --> 00:03:46.417 Left arm up by your head. 58 00:03:46.500 --> 00:03:48.834 This arm's gonna be down by your hip. 59 00:03:48.917 --> 00:03:50.208 Gonna be a little cold. Just relax your hands. 60 00:03:50.291 --> 00:03:52.000 - Everybody has these moments in their life 61 00:03:52.083 --> 00:03:53.041 when it feels like 62 00:03:53.125 --> 00:03:55.208 you're having an out-of-body experience. 63 00:03:55.291 --> 00:03:57.917 Like, "Is this really me?" 64 00:03:58.000 --> 00:04:01.875 One of my biggest came in December of 2018 65 00:04:01.959 --> 00:04:06.542 when a doctor told me my heart was about to stop working. 66 00:04:06.625 --> 00:04:07.542 - Last set of pictures 67 00:04:07.625 --> 00:04:09.166 and then we'll start the exercise. 68 00:04:09.250 --> 00:04:11.125 - Okay. 69 00:04:11.208 --> 00:04:13.709 When I first came and I we were doing this, 70 00:04:13.792 --> 00:04:15.750 it was--I was in pain. 71 00:04:15.834 --> 00:04:18.917 Like, even doing this, I was in pain. 72 00:04:19.000 --> 00:04:20.959 I didn't know what was happening 73 00:04:21.041 --> 00:04:24.333 and if I was having a heart attack or what. 74 00:04:24.417 --> 00:04:25.750 - You'll let us know how you feel, obviously. 75 00:04:25.834 --> 00:04:27.750 If you get any chest pain, let us know. 76 00:04:27.834 --> 00:04:29.250 But at the end, you'll just get tired. 77 00:04:29.333 --> 00:04:30.458 But mostly a walking test. 78 00:04:30.542 --> 00:04:32.542 At the end, maybe, you'll need to jog or anything. 79 00:04:35.166 --> 00:04:36.583 - Then he threw up and then he was like, 80 00:04:36.667 --> 00:04:37.917 "Babe, I'm having a heart attack," 81 00:04:38.000 --> 00:04:39.959 and of course, I laughed. 82 00:04:40.041 --> 00:04:42.375 And I was like, "No, you're not. 83 00:04:42.458 --> 00:04:43.583 Go to bed." 84 00:04:43.667 --> 00:04:47.417 And then we flew home from California to New Jersey, 85 00:04:47.500 --> 00:04:49.917 and that next morning was really bad. 86 00:04:50.000 --> 00:04:51.583 - Remember I couldn't even walk to the gate, though. 87 00:04:51.667 --> 00:04:54.625 - Yeah, and he said again, "I'm having a heart attack," 88 00:04:54.709 --> 00:04:57.250 and again, I'm like, "Oh, it's your stomach." 89 00:04:57.333 --> 00:04:59.083 You know, "You're eating something." 90 00:04:59.166 --> 00:05:01.291 So took about four weeks 91 00:05:01.375 --> 00:05:04.041 to detect that it was actually his heart. 92 00:05:10.542 --> 00:05:12.041 - Come on over. 93 00:05:12.917 --> 00:05:14.667 - Again. 94 00:05:14.750 --> 00:05:17.041 I know it's not easy. 95 00:05:20.959 --> 00:05:22.125 Breathe in a little. 96 00:05:22.208 --> 00:05:24.834 - All right, so good news. The stress test looks normal. 97 00:05:24.917 --> 00:05:27.083 The heart looks great. 98 00:05:27.166 --> 00:05:28.166 No issues at all, 99 00:05:28.250 --> 00:05:30.667 so continuing to focus on the diet, 100 00:05:30.750 --> 00:05:32.458 the exercise, the meds, 101 00:05:32.542 --> 00:05:35.000 you should do well for a long time, all right? 102 00:05:35.083 --> 00:05:36.583 Can we get this guy a glass of water? 103 00:05:36.667 --> 00:05:38.750 - Yeah, right? 104 00:05:39.750 --> 00:05:41.041 - CC deciding to retire, 105 00:05:41.125 --> 00:05:42.667 I don't think it was anyone's decision. 106 00:05:42.750 --> 00:05:45.542 I think it was just we all knew it was time, 107 00:05:45.625 --> 00:05:49.000 and then when the heart situation happened, 108 00:05:49.083 --> 00:05:52.959 it was almost like it's not even up for discussion anymore. 109 00:05:53.041 --> 00:05:55.000 This is gonna be it. 110 00:05:55.083 --> 00:05:56.375 It was just understood 111 00:05:56.458 --> 00:05:58.291 that this is gonna be his last year. 112 00:05:58.375 --> 00:06:00.417 There's some milestones that he needs to hit. 113 00:06:00.500 --> 00:06:01.667 He's gonna hit 'em, 114 00:06:01.750 --> 00:06:04.125 and we're just gonna really celebrate this last season, 115 00:06:04.208 --> 00:06:06.625 season 19, as being, like, 116 00:06:06.709 --> 00:06:08.709 celebrating all that he has done. 117 00:06:10.792 --> 00:06:13.625 - So yeah, the last season of my baseball career 118 00:06:13.709 --> 00:06:17.041 started out with me almost dying of a heart attack. 119 00:06:17.125 --> 00:06:18.041 - You did great. 120 00:06:18.125 --> 00:06:19.375 - Not the best omen, I guess. 121 00:06:21.166 --> 00:06:24.750 And by the time I made it to the finish line, 122 00:06:24.834 --> 00:06:26.458 I don't think anyone would call that 123 00:06:26.542 --> 00:06:28.083 the ideal scenario, either. 124 00:06:33.625 --> 00:06:36.333 - On the ground to first, and it scoots by LeMahieu. 125 00:06:36.417 --> 00:06:39.208 With nobody out and they're at the corners. 126 00:06:41.959 --> 00:06:44.041 Here comes Aaron Boone. 127 00:06:44.125 --> 00:06:47.375 Yeah, and more boos sending Adam Ottavino to the dugouts. 128 00:06:47.458 --> 00:06:48.375 6-3, Houston. 129 00:06:48.458 --> 00:06:51.709 Threatening for more here in the 8th. 130 00:06:51.792 --> 00:06:54.709 - Coming to a playoff game out of the bullpen, 131 00:06:54.792 --> 00:06:58.625 down three runs, two guys on... 132 00:06:58.709 --> 00:07:00.917 - Super-tough spot here for CC. 133 00:07:01.000 --> 00:07:04.375 all: CC! CC! CC! 134 00:07:04.458 --> 00:07:07.583 - But like I said, life isn't always gonna go 135 00:07:07.667 --> 00:07:09.417 the way you think it's gonna go. 136 00:07:11.166 --> 00:07:14.625 I learned that a long, long time ago... 137 00:07:14.709 --> 00:07:16.125 kinda the hard way. 138 00:07:33.583 --> 00:07:37.083 I grew up in a neighborhood in Vallejo called the Crest. 139 00:07:37.166 --> 00:07:40.000 Most people would say it's infamous, but, um, 140 00:07:40.083 --> 00:07:41.625 you know, it's where I grew up, 141 00:07:41.709 --> 00:07:44.333 and for me, it was always a safe place. 142 00:07:47.417 --> 00:07:49.792 You know, I had a big family. 143 00:07:49.875 --> 00:07:53.625 I had my mom and my dad. 144 00:07:53.709 --> 00:07:55.917 I'm a only child, but I have a lot of cousins 145 00:07:56.000 --> 00:07:59.500 and always felt like I had brothers and sisters around. 146 00:07:59.583 --> 00:08:01.333 Daddy, you want me to go back in? 147 00:08:01.417 --> 00:08:03.750 - Yeah, go on out there, man. Don't be scared. 148 00:08:06.208 --> 00:08:09.291 - The central hub of my family back then was in the Crest. 149 00:08:09.375 --> 00:08:12.959 It was my grandmother's house. It's where I grew up. 150 00:08:13.041 --> 00:08:17.917 My parents worked a lot, so that just became my home. 151 00:08:18.000 --> 00:08:20.458 That was always, like, my central place that I can go 152 00:08:20.542 --> 00:08:22.208 and I know that I can get a good meal 153 00:08:22.291 --> 00:08:26.000 and get taken care of and just feel good. 154 00:08:31.750 --> 00:08:35.542 - Go, C, go, C, go, C! 155 00:08:35.625 --> 00:08:37.500 Watch the ball, C, watch the ball! 156 00:08:37.583 --> 00:08:39.709 - Watch the ball, CC! 157 00:08:39.792 --> 00:08:41.834 - Watch the ball, watch the ball, C! 158 00:08:41.917 --> 00:08:43.166 That's it, baby! 159 00:08:43.250 --> 00:08:44.667 - C hit three doubles. 160 00:08:44.750 --> 00:08:45.667 - Did he? - Yeah. 161 00:08:45.750 --> 00:08:48.792 He could've had a homer, but he won't run. 162 00:08:48.875 --> 00:08:54.333 - My father was a little league coach before I was born. 163 00:08:54.417 --> 00:08:57.291 My dad, you know, earlier in my life, you know, 164 00:08:57.375 --> 00:08:59.166 was never too tired to go play catch, 165 00:08:59.250 --> 00:09:03.875 was never too tired to go throw me balls so I could hit. 166 00:09:03.959 --> 00:09:07.875 - And coming out the dugout, Mr. CC Sabathia. 167 00:09:07.959 --> 00:09:09.875 Yay! 168 00:09:13.125 --> 00:09:15.125 Dig, C, dig! 169 00:09:16.542 --> 00:09:19.083 - He put the love of sports in me 170 00:09:19.166 --> 00:09:20.542 and kind of just gave me that passion 171 00:09:20.625 --> 00:09:22.500 to go out and want to play hard. 172 00:09:24.792 --> 00:09:27.500 - All right. - Yeah. 173 00:09:32.333 --> 00:09:35.667 When I was 12, my parents split up. 174 00:09:39.625 --> 00:09:43.083 Me and my mom moved out. 175 00:09:43.166 --> 00:09:46.917 My dad, you know, I pretty much don't see him. 176 00:09:50.166 --> 00:09:51.250 Off and on, you know, 177 00:09:51.333 --> 00:09:53.750 maybe a couple of weekends here and there, 178 00:09:53.834 --> 00:09:57.417 but as I got into high school... 179 00:09:57.500 --> 00:09:58.792 you know, he didn't see me play, 180 00:09:58.875 --> 00:10:00.917 you know, one high school baseball game. 181 00:10:01.000 --> 00:10:03.417 He saw me play one high school football game 182 00:10:03.500 --> 00:10:04.959 and no basketball games. 183 00:10:09.625 --> 00:10:12.500 - Oh, that's the insurance that we needed. 184 00:10:12.583 --> 00:10:17.083 Help yourself, baby. Good shuffle, CC. 185 00:10:17.166 --> 00:10:18.208 That was fantastic. 186 00:10:18.291 --> 00:10:19.667 Hey, brother. 187 00:10:19.750 --> 00:10:21.583 - Right on, brother. 188 00:10:23.208 --> 00:10:24.375 - Not having my dad around 189 00:10:24.458 --> 00:10:27.291 was definitely a hardship to deal with. 190 00:10:27.375 --> 00:10:29.917 But the women in my life were always there for me-- 191 00:10:30.000 --> 00:10:32.709 my mom and my grandmother. 192 00:10:32.792 --> 00:10:35.125 And then, of course, Amber, too. 193 00:10:35.208 --> 00:10:37.458 We started out as just friends, actually. 194 00:10:37.542 --> 00:10:40.750 But eventually, we got together. 195 00:10:40.834 --> 00:10:42.583 So the love story part of our life 196 00:10:42.667 --> 00:10:45.166 might've needed a few years to take off, 197 00:10:45.250 --> 00:10:47.959 but by the time I was a senior in high school, 198 00:10:48.041 --> 00:10:50.959 there was no question I had a future in baseball. 199 00:10:51.041 --> 00:10:53.125 - Indians select Sabathia, 200 00:10:53.208 --> 00:10:58.125 S-A-B-A-T-H-I-A, Carsten C. 201 00:10:58.208 --> 00:11:01.125 - Welcome to Cleveland. - Thank you. 202 00:11:01.208 --> 00:11:02.792 A month ago, I was in high school, 203 00:11:02.875 --> 00:11:04.291 and now I'm in Cleveland at Jacobs Field, 204 00:11:04.375 --> 00:11:06.000 so... 205 00:11:06.083 --> 00:11:07.583 Real excited. 206 00:11:07.667 --> 00:11:08.709 - You know, we would always bring 207 00:11:08.792 --> 00:11:10.667 our first-round picks to the ballpark, 208 00:11:10.750 --> 00:11:13.291 and I think the first thing that jumped out at you was, 209 00:11:13.375 --> 00:11:14.542 this looks like a man. 210 00:11:14.625 --> 00:11:17.834 I mean, 6'7" and strong 211 00:11:17.917 --> 00:11:20.834 and the fact that he had had football scholarship offers 212 00:11:20.917 --> 00:11:22.834 at Division I schools-- 213 00:11:22.917 --> 00:11:25.291 this was not your ordinary high school kid. 214 00:11:25.375 --> 00:11:27.834 - Sabathia! 215 00:11:27.917 --> 00:11:31.166 - While Sabathia is moving up the Indians development chart, 216 00:11:31.250 --> 00:11:34.333 this young player also shows a lot of maturity. 217 00:11:35.542 --> 00:11:36.500 - Pitched pretty good, you know? 218 00:11:36.583 --> 00:11:37.500 It was a big crowd. 219 00:11:37.583 --> 00:11:39.166 Got into the game pretty good, you know? 220 00:11:39.250 --> 00:11:40.834 I'm used to pitching every fifth day now, 221 00:11:40.917 --> 00:11:42.125 so it's pretty good. 222 00:11:42.208 --> 00:11:43.667 - Let's go! 223 00:11:43.750 --> 00:11:45.834 - Strike three! 224 00:11:45.917 --> 00:11:47.834 - After that first couple of months 225 00:11:47.917 --> 00:11:49.000 in the minor leagues, 226 00:11:49.083 --> 00:11:50.208 things are starting to look good. 227 00:11:50.291 --> 00:11:54.375 I made my first couple starts, I pitched well, 228 00:11:54.458 --> 00:11:58.375 and me and my dad kind of, like, reconnected. 229 00:11:58.458 --> 00:12:01.041 Our relationship just kind of took off again from there 230 00:12:01.125 --> 00:12:03.083 like I was 12 years old again. 231 00:12:03.166 --> 00:12:05.208 We didn't miss a beat. 232 00:12:05.291 --> 00:12:06.417 I didn't care what was going on with him, 233 00:12:06.500 --> 00:12:08.041 I didn't know what was going on with him, 234 00:12:08.125 --> 00:12:09.208 I just knew my dad was back 235 00:12:09.291 --> 00:12:11.083 and this is gonna make everything whole again. 236 00:12:13.083 --> 00:12:14.834 But in my life, 237 00:12:14.917 --> 00:12:16.875 every time something good happens to me, 238 00:12:16.959 --> 00:12:19.709 something really, really bad is gonna happen, 239 00:12:19.792 --> 00:12:22.375 and that's always been the case. 240 00:12:22.458 --> 00:12:24.709 So I remember, you know, me and him are driving. 241 00:12:24.792 --> 00:12:26.166 He just told me. 242 00:12:26.250 --> 00:12:28.250 He was like, "You know, I haven't been around. 243 00:12:28.333 --> 00:12:30.709 I've been really sick." 244 00:12:30.792 --> 00:12:33.709 He breaks the news to me that he has HIV. 245 00:12:33.792 --> 00:12:34.750 He told me he was living in San Jose. 246 00:12:34.834 --> 00:12:37.083 He told me he was living at a hospital facility 247 00:12:37.166 --> 00:12:38.083 that's gonna help him out, 248 00:12:38.166 --> 00:12:39.750 help him get healthy, help him get better. 249 00:12:39.834 --> 00:12:42.291 Me and Amber went, and we go down to see him, 250 00:12:42.375 --> 00:12:44.750 and we're hanging out, we're having fun, 251 00:12:44.834 --> 00:12:46.250 and we're getting to leave and he gives me a hug 252 00:12:46.333 --> 00:12:47.750 and he was like, "All right, I'ma walk you out. 253 00:12:47.834 --> 00:12:49.750 I could just walk you to the door." 254 00:12:49.834 --> 00:12:52.458 We get about three steps out of the door and Amber goes, 255 00:12:52.542 --> 00:12:53.875 "Well, how long has your dad been in rehab?" 256 00:12:53.959 --> 00:12:55.917 And I was like, "What are you talking about, rehab?" 257 00:12:56.000 --> 00:12:57.792 She was like, "That's a rehab facility. 258 00:12:57.875 --> 00:13:00.625 Why do you think he couldn't leave?" 259 00:13:00.709 --> 00:13:01.875 First of all, I didn't know he had HIV. 260 00:13:01.959 --> 00:13:02.875 I didn't know he had 261 00:13:02.959 --> 00:13:04.917 the substance abuse problem, either. 262 00:13:05.000 --> 00:13:07.667 And that was the first time I had really even 263 00:13:07.750 --> 00:13:10.041 thought about it or been confronted with it, 264 00:13:10.125 --> 00:13:11.959 but none of that stuff mattered to me at all. 265 00:13:12.041 --> 00:13:13.000 I didn't care. 266 00:13:13.083 --> 00:13:15.083 I mean, I just wanted my dad back. 267 00:13:15.166 --> 00:13:19.041 I was just excited that, you know, we were back talking. 268 00:13:24.041 --> 00:13:25.792 - And CC Sabathia getting set 269 00:13:25.875 --> 00:13:28.625 to make his Major League start. 270 00:13:28.709 --> 00:13:30.417 - Boy, and that' what you wait for when you're a youngster. 271 00:13:30.500 --> 00:13:31.709 "Just let me get out there." 272 00:13:31.792 --> 00:13:34.625 And then butterflies seem to settle down a little bit. 273 00:13:34.709 --> 00:13:36.333 - Here's the 2-2. 274 00:13:36.417 --> 00:13:37.458 - Strike! 275 00:13:37.542 --> 00:13:38.959 - And it is a fastball on the inside corner. 276 00:13:39.041 --> 00:13:40.959 Strike three. 277 00:13:41.041 --> 00:13:42.625 - Great job by Sabathia, 278 00:13:42.709 --> 00:13:44.750 that first Major League outing. 279 00:13:46.083 --> 00:13:47.125 A swing and a miss! 280 00:13:47.208 --> 00:13:48.667 He struck him out on a fastball. 281 00:13:56.083 --> 00:13:58.834 - CC, a 17-game winner. 282 00:13:58.917 --> 00:14:00.375 - A two-strike pitch. 283 00:14:00.458 --> 00:14:01.500 A swing and a miss! 284 00:14:01.583 --> 00:14:03.208 Swung out and missed! Got him with a curve! 285 00:14:03.291 --> 00:14:05.792 And he swings and misses at the high heat. 286 00:14:05.875 --> 00:14:08.500 Sabathia has struck out nine. 287 00:14:18.917 --> 00:14:21.000 - Mom is not the only one digging it. 288 00:14:21.083 --> 00:14:22.709 You done splendid, CC. 289 00:14:22.792 --> 00:14:25.709 - I think Sabathia's getting better. 290 00:14:29.959 --> 00:14:31.959 - He was one of those guys 291 00:14:32.041 --> 00:14:33.834 that lived up to the advanced billing 292 00:14:33.917 --> 00:14:35.333 and was every bit as good 293 00:14:35.417 --> 00:14:38.583 and maybe even better than what you thought he would be. 294 00:14:38.667 --> 00:14:40.917 - This is the best time for me. This is great, you know? 295 00:14:41.000 --> 00:14:42.917 I got my dad back, I got Amber here, 296 00:14:43.000 --> 00:14:45.208 my mom's flying in and out all the time. 297 00:14:46.917 --> 00:14:51.208 We find out Amber's pregnant in January of 2003, 298 00:14:51.291 --> 00:14:52.208 so I'm super excited. 299 00:14:52.291 --> 00:14:53.417 Amber's scared to death. 300 00:14:53.500 --> 00:14:56.667 My dad was extremely excited. 301 00:14:56.750 --> 00:14:58.083 The Sunday that they make the selections 302 00:14:58.166 --> 00:14:59.667 for the All-Star team, 303 00:14:59.750 --> 00:15:01.625 Wedgie calls me in the office and he goes, 304 00:15:01.709 --> 00:15:03.500 "Hey," you know, "Congratulations." 305 00:15:03.583 --> 00:15:04.750 You know, "You made the All-Star team," 306 00:15:04.834 --> 00:15:06.750 you know, "This is the first of many." 307 00:15:06.834 --> 00:15:08.583 And man, I was so excited. 308 00:15:08.667 --> 00:15:11.041 So as I am walking out 309 00:15:11.125 --> 00:15:14.500 to, like, look at my phone to go, like, call my mom, 310 00:15:14.583 --> 00:15:18.709 she calls me and she goes, "Hey, I got some news for you." 311 00:15:18.792 --> 00:15:20.417 And I'm like, "I know, I just made the All-Star team. 312 00:15:20.500 --> 00:15:21.583 You heard it already?" 313 00:15:21.667 --> 00:15:24.542 And she was like, "No, your dad's in the hospital 314 00:15:24.625 --> 00:15:26.750 and they're giving him six weeks to live." 315 00:15:26.834 --> 00:15:28.041 So I'm like, "God," like, 316 00:15:28.125 --> 00:15:30.542 this is my every time something good happens, 317 00:15:30.625 --> 00:15:31.875 like, something bad happens. 318 00:15:31.959 --> 00:15:34.583 But I didn't think it was gonna be that quick. 319 00:15:39.709 --> 00:15:42.583 You know, they gave him six weeks in July. 320 00:15:42.667 --> 00:15:47.750 It's some kind of cancer that only patients with HIV have 321 00:15:47.834 --> 00:15:50.792 and it's common, it's really aggressive, 322 00:15:50.875 --> 00:15:55.125 and he ended passing away in December, so he fought. 323 00:15:55.208 --> 00:15:57.917 And I think the only reason he fought so long 324 00:15:58.000 --> 00:16:00.000 is because he wanted to see Little C. 325 00:16:05.667 --> 00:16:06.959 Tough day for me that day 326 00:16:07.041 --> 00:16:09.792 because I knew that those would probably be, like, 327 00:16:09.875 --> 00:16:13.125 the only pictures that we would have of them. 328 00:16:13.208 --> 00:16:16.250 I remember I wanted to take as many pictures as possible 329 00:16:16.333 --> 00:16:18.125 because I didn't know 330 00:16:18.208 --> 00:16:22.166 how many times he'd be able to hold him, you know? 331 00:16:25.875 --> 00:16:30.375 I miss that--he missed me pitching in pinstripes. 332 00:16:30.458 --> 00:16:32.291 And that was his dream. 333 00:16:40.583 --> 00:16:41.500 - Strike three! 334 00:16:41.583 --> 00:16:44.333 - I owe my dad everything. 335 00:16:45.959 --> 00:16:46.875 I mean, you grow up in the Crest, 336 00:16:46.959 --> 00:16:47.959 you grow up in Vallejo, 337 00:16:48.041 --> 00:16:51.333 you can't think past the next day. 338 00:16:51.417 --> 00:16:54.500 And to be able to, you know, put a dream in me to, 339 00:16:54.583 --> 00:16:55.834 you know, play in the big leagues 340 00:16:55.917 --> 00:16:59.959 and really try to fulfill that for him. 341 00:17:02.709 --> 00:17:04.959 He's literally the reason why I'm sitting here. 342 00:17:17.250 --> 00:17:21.125 - CC Sabathia, now in his 19th Major League season. 343 00:17:21.208 --> 00:17:25.500 He begins tonight only three strikeouts shy of 3,000. 344 00:17:33.125 --> 00:17:35.041 - Swing and a miss! He got him. 345 00:17:35.125 --> 00:17:39.417 Strikeout number 3,000 for CC Sabathia. 346 00:17:40.834 --> 00:17:43.417 - Now he can breathe. - Yup. It's over. 347 00:17:43.500 --> 00:17:47.000 He'd been talking about this since Spring Training. 348 00:17:53.417 --> 00:17:58.250 all: CC! CC! CC! CC! CC! CC! CC! 349 00:18:00.458 --> 00:18:02.542 - There are his children near the dugout. 350 00:18:02.625 --> 00:18:04.417 So big hugs from the family. 351 00:18:04.500 --> 00:18:06.875 - Whoo! 352 00:18:06.959 --> 00:18:09.917 Let's go! 353 00:18:10.000 --> 00:18:12.250 - We're excited. We were waiting for it. 354 00:18:12.333 --> 00:18:15.583 And now it's here, and now he can focus 355 00:18:15.667 --> 00:18:17.750 and kind of train on winning the World Series. 356 00:18:17.834 --> 00:18:19.417 - Much love, man. - All right, all right. 357 00:18:19.500 --> 00:18:20.417 Y'all looked good. 358 00:18:20.500 --> 00:18:22.083 - Yeah! 359 00:18:22.166 --> 00:18:25.250 - Do you allow yourself to think about the possibility 360 00:18:25.333 --> 00:18:27.625 of the Hall of Fame or is that something that 361 00:18:27.709 --> 00:18:30.208 is outside the pale at this point? 362 00:18:30.291 --> 00:18:31.458 - That's something that maybe I'll think about 363 00:18:31.542 --> 00:18:33.917 after the season, but right now, it's just, 364 00:18:34.000 --> 00:18:35.083 you know, after this is done, 365 00:18:35.166 --> 00:18:36.875 it's just focused on, you know, trying to win games 366 00:18:36.959 --> 00:18:38.834 and, you know, trying to win this division. 367 00:18:38.917 --> 00:18:40.458 It's not really up for me to, 368 00:18:40.542 --> 00:18:41.792 you know, say my place in history. 369 00:18:41.875 --> 00:18:43.208 That's kind of for everybody else. 370 00:18:43.291 --> 00:18:45.417 I just go out and play hard as I can 371 00:18:45.500 --> 00:18:47.583 and, you know, leave my numbers out there. 372 00:18:47.667 --> 00:18:48.583 And what they are, they are. 373 00:18:48.667 --> 00:18:50.291 And, you know, hopefully one day, 374 00:18:50.375 --> 00:18:52.125 they'll be good enough to get in. 375 00:18:55.250 --> 00:18:56.625 - That, was, like special-- 376 00:18:56.709 --> 00:18:58.417 - I'm not gonna lie. 377 00:18:58.500 --> 00:19:00.750 3,000 strikeouts is a big deal to me. 378 00:19:03.041 --> 00:19:04.625 - All right, first zero. - Me! 379 00:19:04.709 --> 00:19:05.959 - You put it down so it's all across, yeah. 380 00:19:06.041 --> 00:19:07.959 - Smiles. 381 00:19:08.041 --> 00:19:10.333 - Only 18 pitchers in the history of the game 382 00:19:10.417 --> 00:19:11.333 have done it. 383 00:19:11.417 --> 00:19:14.083 - Oh! 384 00:19:14.166 --> 00:19:15.333 - Put her down! 385 00:19:15.417 --> 00:19:17.792 - And I think the thing I'm most proud of 386 00:19:17.875 --> 00:19:19.959 is becoming just the third African American 387 00:19:20.041 --> 00:19:22.500 to get on that list. 388 00:19:22.583 --> 00:19:23.792 To be in the same breath 389 00:19:23.875 --> 00:19:27.000 as Ferguson Jenkins and Bob Gibson? 390 00:19:27.083 --> 00:19:31.000 Hall of famers, legends? It's just awesome. 391 00:19:31.083 --> 00:19:33.709 - It's genuine with you. You've always been real. 392 00:19:33.792 --> 00:19:35.375 You've been a role model for people. 393 00:19:35.458 --> 00:19:37.125 You do shit the right way, man, 394 00:19:37.208 --> 00:19:40.500 and that's something that isn't around as much anymore. 395 00:19:40.583 --> 00:19:42.959 - You're respected beyond this game, man. 396 00:19:43.041 --> 00:19:44.667 As one of the ambassadors of this game, 397 00:19:44.750 --> 00:19:46.709 especially one of the Black ambassadors of this game, 398 00:19:46.792 --> 00:19:48.625 we follow in your footsteps. 399 00:19:53.750 --> 00:19:56.041 - And the chances for milestones kept coming up 400 00:19:56.125 --> 00:19:57.500 all throughout the season. 401 00:20:01.208 --> 00:20:03.041 - Swing and a miss. 402 00:20:03.125 --> 00:20:04.500 - I've obviously been fortunate 403 00:20:04.583 --> 00:20:07.208 to be here for a while and play with a lot of guys 404 00:20:07.291 --> 00:20:10.542 that have had long careers and reach a lot of milestones, 405 00:20:10.625 --> 00:20:14.667 but CC's reaching numbers and hitting milestones 406 00:20:14.750 --> 00:20:17.542 that I'm not sure are gonna be reached again, 407 00:20:17.625 --> 00:20:20.083 especially as a left-handed pitcher 408 00:20:20.166 --> 00:20:22.375 pitching so long in the American League. 409 00:20:22.458 --> 00:20:24.542 You know, his career has been unbelievable. 410 00:20:24.625 --> 00:20:26.583 - And he'll make the play on the warning track 411 00:20:26.667 --> 00:20:28.917 and the Yankees win 12-1. 412 00:20:29.000 --> 00:20:34.417 CC Sabathia picks up his 250th win. 413 00:20:34.500 --> 00:20:37.250 - To join Fergie and Gibby again on another list? 414 00:20:37.333 --> 00:20:40.500 The only Black pitchers to win 250 games? 415 00:20:40.583 --> 00:20:43.041 It was just huge. 416 00:20:43.125 --> 00:20:45.709 I've definitely always taken a lot of pride 417 00:20:45.792 --> 00:20:49.041 in being a African-American player in this game. 418 00:20:49.125 --> 00:20:52.542 Believe me, every time I ever took the mound, 419 00:20:52.625 --> 00:20:55.834 I knew who and what I was representing. 420 00:21:02.500 --> 00:21:05.250 - Here, C. 421 00:21:05.333 --> 00:21:06.750 - When I think of Cleveland, 422 00:21:06.834 --> 00:21:07.792 the thing that stands out the most 423 00:21:07.875 --> 00:21:10.083 is the core of our family. 424 00:21:10.166 --> 00:21:12.083 That's when we started. 425 00:21:12.166 --> 00:21:15.000 We got married in Cleveland at a courthouse on a off day. 426 00:21:15.083 --> 00:21:16.458 You know, we thought we'd keep it a surprise, 427 00:21:16.542 --> 00:21:18.583 and then it was on the news by the end of the day. 428 00:21:18.667 --> 00:21:21.542 But that was where everything started. 429 00:21:23.959 --> 00:21:26.583 - Cleveland is where I grew into a man. 430 00:21:26.667 --> 00:21:27.834 And there was a point 431 00:21:27.917 --> 00:21:30.792 I absolutely believed I would be a Indian for life. 432 00:21:33.041 --> 00:21:34.291 But baseball's funny. 433 00:21:34.375 --> 00:21:36.750 There's a lot of different ways to learn it's a business. 434 00:21:36.834 --> 00:21:40.125 And by 2008, the team needed to rebuild, 435 00:21:40.208 --> 00:21:41.834 I was headed to free agency, 436 00:21:41.917 --> 00:21:44.333 and the writing was kinda on the wall. 437 00:21:44.417 --> 00:21:48.458 - A huge trade tonight has Cleveland saying, "See ya, CC." 438 00:21:48.542 --> 00:21:52.458 Ace pitcher CC Sabathia now playing in the National League. 439 00:21:52.542 --> 00:21:54.208 - Earlier today here at Miller Park, 440 00:21:54.291 --> 00:21:56.625 the Brewers officially announce one of the biggest trades 441 00:21:56.709 --> 00:21:58.166 in team history. 442 00:21:58.250 --> 00:21:59.417 CC Sabathia, 443 00:21:59.500 --> 00:22:02.125 the reigning American League CY Young award winner, 444 00:22:02.208 --> 00:22:03.333 was officially introduced 445 00:22:03.417 --> 00:22:05.417 as a member of the Milwaukee Brewers. 446 00:22:06.917 --> 00:22:09.291 - I looked at getting traded as an opportunity. 447 00:22:09.375 --> 00:22:11.834 Going to Milwaukee, basically getting dropped 448 00:22:11.917 --> 00:22:13.458 right in the middle of a pennant race? 449 00:22:13.542 --> 00:22:15.333 That was great. 450 00:22:15.417 --> 00:22:16.500 I definitely wanted to make the most 451 00:22:16.583 --> 00:22:17.542 of those three months 452 00:22:17.625 --> 00:22:19.291 and carry that team to the playoffs. 453 00:22:21.041 --> 00:22:24.375 - And here comes CC Sabathia. 454 00:22:24.458 --> 00:22:26.375 A strikeout for Sabathia. 455 00:22:27.750 --> 00:22:28.959 - Some of the most dominant pitching 456 00:22:29.041 --> 00:22:32.500 we've seen here in Milwaukee for an awfully long time. 457 00:22:32.583 --> 00:22:34.000 - Bare hands it! 458 00:22:34.083 --> 00:22:35.834 - That team was so close 459 00:22:35.917 --> 00:22:37.667 and we didn't want the season to end, 460 00:22:37.750 --> 00:22:39.166 but we didn't have enough pitching 461 00:22:39.250 --> 00:22:41.041 so I was like, "Man, fuck it. I'm healthy. 462 00:22:41.125 --> 00:22:42.333 Let's go. I can go on three days' rest." 463 00:22:42.417 --> 00:22:43.333 Like, "Let's do this," 464 00:22:43.417 --> 00:22:44.834 like, "Let's try to get to the playoffs. 465 00:22:44.917 --> 00:22:47.166 - The big guy is just carrying this team on his shoulders 466 00:22:47.250 --> 00:22:48.333 right now. 467 00:22:50.750 --> 00:22:52.625 - Fans starting to believe. - Unreal. 468 00:22:54.583 --> 00:22:55.625 - On the ground. A chance here. 469 00:22:55.709 --> 00:22:57.875 Durham to Hardy to first! 470 00:22:57.959 --> 00:22:59.417 In time! - Yes, yes! 471 00:22:59.500 --> 00:23:03.834 - The Brewers win! Sabathia, a complete game! 472 00:23:06.583 --> 00:23:10.583 - Those are the exact moments that I 1,000% dreamed about 473 00:23:10.667 --> 00:23:12.709 when I was a kid grabbing those grapefruits off the tree 474 00:23:12.792 --> 00:23:16.000 or off the ground, and it's the weirdest thing, 475 00:23:16.083 --> 00:23:17.959 because kids grow up, and they're always the hitter 476 00:23:18.041 --> 00:23:20.333 and want to hit a grand slam to win the game, 477 00:23:20.417 --> 00:23:22.333 but for me, it was always wanting to make that pitch, 478 00:23:22.417 --> 00:23:24.750 and I was always the guy that was on the mound. 479 00:23:24.834 --> 00:23:26.250 I was gonna get the last out. 480 00:23:27.917 --> 00:23:29.542 It was a big game. 481 00:23:29.625 --> 00:23:31.000 You know, we came out focused, ready to have fun, 482 00:23:31.083 --> 00:23:33.208 and it was amazing. 483 00:23:33.291 --> 00:23:34.709 - You have to go on three days' rest again. 484 00:23:34.792 --> 00:23:36.709 Think you can do it? - No doubt. 485 00:23:36.792 --> 00:23:40.709 all: CC! CC! CC! CC! CC! CC! CC! 486 00:23:40.792 --> 00:23:43.875 - Look, I guess history doesn't lie. 487 00:23:43.959 --> 00:23:46.250 I was out of gas in the playoffs. 488 00:23:46.333 --> 00:23:50.875 - Grand slam home run! 489 00:23:50.959 --> 00:23:52.709 - But walking off the field, 490 00:23:52.792 --> 00:23:55.625 it was just like, "Okay, what's next? 491 00:23:55.709 --> 00:23:56.917 - Well, this guy has been 492 00:23:57.000 --> 00:23:58.375 a warrior for the Milwaukee Brewers, 493 00:23:58.458 --> 00:24:00.417 but it caught up to him a little bit tonight, 494 00:24:00.500 --> 00:24:02.667 and their fans are gonna give him a hoot as he leaves, 495 00:24:02.750 --> 00:24:06.750 but guy's been unbelievable for this team. 496 00:24:06.834 --> 00:24:08.917 - So going to the offseason. 497 00:24:09.000 --> 00:24:10.083 And now, me and Amber, you know, 498 00:24:10.166 --> 00:24:12.458 have this huge decision we have to make. 499 00:24:12.542 --> 00:24:14.041 We have three kids, and, you know, 500 00:24:14.125 --> 00:24:15.917 we know that we going to free agency 501 00:24:16.000 --> 00:24:17.917 and we're gonna be set up, you know, 502 00:24:18.000 --> 00:24:19.041 for the rest of our lives. 503 00:24:19.125 --> 00:24:21.834 So wherever we play is where we're gonna live, 504 00:24:21.917 --> 00:24:23.083 we're gonna raise the kids, 505 00:24:23.166 --> 00:24:25.458 so it was more than just a baseball decision 506 00:24:25.542 --> 00:24:26.709 that we had to make. 507 00:24:26.792 --> 00:24:28.125 And first day of free agency, 508 00:24:28.208 --> 00:24:29.959 the Yankees offered me a contract. 509 00:24:34.875 --> 00:24:39.792 I didn't particularly want to come to New York. 510 00:24:39.875 --> 00:24:41.333 You know, I'm a West Coast guy. 511 00:24:41.417 --> 00:24:42.333 I thought I would, you know, 512 00:24:42.417 --> 00:24:44.792 be in a Dodger uniform or a Angel uniform, 513 00:24:44.875 --> 00:24:47.667 but going through free agency and talking with Amber 514 00:24:47.750 --> 00:24:50.125 and really wanting a chance to win every year 515 00:24:50.208 --> 00:24:51.875 and not being the main focus-- 516 00:24:51.959 --> 00:24:54.000 how could you not become a Yankee? 517 00:24:56.583 --> 00:24:59.083 - Tonight, the Bronx Bombers agreeing to a contract 518 00:24:59.166 --> 00:25:01.208 with CC Sabathia that will make him 519 00:25:01.291 --> 00:25:04.333 the highest-paid pitcher ever. 520 00:25:06.917 --> 00:25:09.000 - We, on behalf of the Steinbrenner family, 521 00:25:09.083 --> 00:25:10.208 threw a lot of money 522 00:25:10.291 --> 00:25:11.875 and made it hard for him to consider something else. 523 00:25:13.291 --> 00:25:14.542 - I didn't hide that desperation. 524 00:25:14.625 --> 00:25:17.834 I didn't hide our sincere, genuine interest. 525 00:25:17.917 --> 00:25:20.000 We felt he could impact our clubhouse 526 00:25:20.083 --> 00:25:23.208 with his character and lovable nature and, obviously, 527 00:25:23.291 --> 00:25:24.333 the performance side on that field. 528 00:25:24.417 --> 00:25:29.500 I mean this is a real rare talent that, you know, 529 00:25:29.583 --> 00:25:32.375 you could transform a franchise with that ball in his hand 530 00:25:32.458 --> 00:25:35.208 and we were willing to pay for that. 531 00:26:07.458 --> 00:26:10.208 I think if I had one philosophy for my last season, 532 00:26:10.291 --> 00:26:14.000 it was this: try to enjoy every minute. 533 00:26:17.125 --> 00:26:18.875 So it might've looked crazy, 534 00:26:18.959 --> 00:26:21.875 but when the team has Star Wars night on May 4th 535 00:26:21.959 --> 00:26:23.709 and handed out my bobbleheads, 536 00:26:23.792 --> 00:26:26.709 I was like, "Let me be Yoda." 537 00:26:26.792 --> 00:26:28.792 Maybe I'm not quite as old as him, 538 00:26:28.875 --> 00:26:30.542 but close enough, right? 539 00:26:30.625 --> 00:26:32.917 - I love you, CC. - Thank you. 540 00:26:33.000 --> 00:26:35.709 - Here you go. - Say thank you. 541 00:26:35.792 --> 00:26:37.250 - Thank you. - You're welcome. 542 00:26:39.875 --> 00:26:41.375 Old-Timers' Day, 543 00:26:41.458 --> 00:26:42.917 that's always one of the best days of the year 544 00:26:43.000 --> 00:26:44.583 for everybody. 545 00:26:44.667 --> 00:26:45.792 - How you doin'? 546 00:26:45.875 --> 00:26:46.917 - I'm getting to the age now 547 00:26:47.000 --> 00:26:48.125 where I don't want to do too much of nothing. 548 00:26:48.208 --> 00:26:49.583 Gimme that bat. Hey. 549 00:26:49.667 --> 00:26:52.709 - Mixing it up with all those legends coming back, 550 00:26:52.792 --> 00:26:55.250 celebrating all that Yankee history. 551 00:26:57.500 --> 00:26:59.542 - I'm coming too. That's a fact for you. 552 00:26:59.625 --> 00:27:00.542 - Yes. 553 00:27:00.625 --> 00:27:01.917 I'm only coming back if I can hit, though. 554 00:27:04.000 --> 00:27:08.458 - What a great career, what a great career. 555 00:27:08.542 --> 00:27:11.458 - It was definitely put in a new perspective, though. 556 00:27:11.542 --> 00:27:13.291 Like the idea it was almost my turn 557 00:27:13.375 --> 00:27:15.291 to be one of these guys. 558 00:27:15.375 --> 00:27:16.625 But really, 559 00:27:16.709 --> 00:27:19.542 that's just another fraternity I'm proud to be a part of-- 560 00:27:19.625 --> 00:27:22.208 united by those pinstripes. 561 00:27:26.166 --> 00:27:28.709 - Let's go, CC! 562 00:27:29.834 --> 00:27:31.792 - And probably the most special day of the year 563 00:27:31.875 --> 00:27:34.166 was at the end in September. 564 00:27:34.250 --> 00:27:37.792 The team actually gave me my own day. 565 00:27:37.875 --> 00:27:38.792 Feels weird. 566 00:27:38.875 --> 00:27:39.959 It feel like it's somebody else's last game. 567 00:27:40.041 --> 00:27:41.250 - No, player. 568 00:27:41.333 --> 00:27:43.959 That's you. - It's me. 569 00:27:44.041 --> 00:27:45.125 - Get it done. See you out there. 570 00:27:45.208 --> 00:27:47.083 - It's been crazy. 571 00:27:47.166 --> 00:27:49.500 - With a career high of 21 victories. 572 00:27:49.583 --> 00:27:53.000 Over his 11 years of playing for the Yankees, 573 00:27:53.083 --> 00:27:55.333 CC was a three-time All-Star 574 00:27:55.417 --> 00:27:58.417 and is tenth on the Yankees all-time wins list 575 00:27:58.500 --> 00:28:02.291 and fourth on the Yankees all-time strikeouts list. 576 00:28:10.083 --> 00:28:12.834 - Thank you, guys. Thank you. 577 00:28:12.917 --> 00:28:15.208 - Wave! Wave to him! 578 00:28:18.750 --> 00:28:21.500 - I really didn't want to get too emotional, 579 00:28:21.583 --> 00:28:25.000 but standing out there, I just couldn't help it. 580 00:28:25.083 --> 00:28:27.333 It's like your life flashes before your eyes a little bit. 581 00:28:32.000 --> 00:28:33.291 - You know, you see it on the TV, 582 00:28:33.375 --> 00:28:34.542 you know, you see the Jeters 583 00:28:34.625 --> 00:28:36.875 and then you see Lou Gehrig, and then you see Babe Ruth, 584 00:28:36.959 --> 00:28:39.166 you know, making speeches at home plate at Yankee Stadium. 585 00:28:39.250 --> 00:28:40.583 And like, this stuff out of a movie, you know? 586 00:28:40.667 --> 00:28:41.667 Like, this isn't real. 587 00:28:41.750 --> 00:28:44.250 - But most of all, I wanna thank you, the fans. 588 00:28:44.333 --> 00:28:45.875 Thank you guys... 589 00:28:45.959 --> 00:28:47.542 For letting me play in front of you guys 590 00:28:47.625 --> 00:28:51.041 for the last 11 years giving you everything I have. 591 00:28:51.125 --> 00:28:53.083 - And then you see your father that's up there 592 00:28:53.166 --> 00:28:54.750 doing that type of stuff with your grandmother, 593 00:28:54.834 --> 00:28:56.208 with your whole family, you know, 594 00:28:56.291 --> 00:28:59.166 with the entire stadium giving them a whole bunch of praise, 595 00:28:59.250 --> 00:29:00.333 a whole bunch of love. 596 00:29:00.417 --> 00:29:03.041 It's something that you can't even put into words. 597 00:29:03.125 --> 00:29:04.500 - God damn it. 598 00:29:04.583 --> 00:29:06.333 I didn't want to be crying, guys. 599 00:29:12.500 --> 00:29:15.083 - Obviously, I got my start in Cleveland, 600 00:29:15.166 --> 00:29:17.583 but my family being a part of the Yankee family 601 00:29:17.667 --> 00:29:20.583 is something that I truly cherish. 602 00:29:20.667 --> 00:29:23.417 - We're gonna have you walk your mother out to the middle, 603 00:29:23.500 --> 00:29:24.917 so all the way. 604 00:29:25.000 --> 00:29:26.917 - And a big part of the emotion 605 00:29:27.000 --> 00:29:29.750 was thinking about what I overcame. 606 00:29:29.834 --> 00:29:31.959 How maybe these fans always loved me 607 00:29:32.041 --> 00:29:35.125 all the way back to the beginning in 2009, 608 00:29:35.208 --> 00:29:37.583 but they didn't know the trouble I was having, 609 00:29:37.667 --> 00:29:40.041 the secret I was carrying, 610 00:29:40.125 --> 00:29:42.542 that really could've destroyed all of this. 611 00:29:42.625 --> 00:29:45.291 All right, ready? 612 00:29:48.834 --> 00:29:50.291 But what's that saying? 613 00:29:50.375 --> 00:29:54.458 "What'd done in the dark eventually comes to light." 614 00:29:54.542 --> 00:29:57.834 - Daddy, Daddy, Daddy! 615 00:30:14.041 --> 00:30:15.917 - To the second baseman, Cano! 616 00:30:16.000 --> 00:30:18.458 The Yankees are back on top! 617 00:30:18.542 --> 00:30:21.458 World champions for the 27th time. 618 00:30:23.542 --> 00:30:24.792 - This is what you came here for. 619 00:30:24.875 --> 00:30:26.583 How does it feel? - This feels--it feels great. 620 00:30:26.667 --> 00:30:27.583 This is what you come here for. 621 00:30:27.667 --> 00:30:28.750 To win the championship. 622 00:30:28.834 --> 00:30:31.750 To be able to do it here the first year feels great. 623 00:30:32.875 --> 00:30:33.959 It's the greatest city in the world, 624 00:30:34.041 --> 00:30:36.291 and to be able to win here, it's unbelievable. 625 00:30:49.917 --> 00:30:51.959 - After we won in 2009, 626 00:30:52.041 --> 00:30:55.333 for me, the goal was just get even better. 627 00:30:55.417 --> 00:31:00.166 - Your 2009 World Series champion 628 00:31:00.250 --> 00:31:03.000 New York Yankees! 629 00:31:03.083 --> 00:31:05.583 - Playing alongside Yankee legends like Jeter, 630 00:31:05.667 --> 00:31:10.333 A-Rod, Rivera, Posada, Pettitte. 631 00:31:10.417 --> 00:31:14.333 - CC Sabathia! 632 00:31:14.417 --> 00:31:16.333 - Having talent around you like that 633 00:31:16.417 --> 00:31:19.041 pushes you to always keep working. 634 00:31:22.333 --> 00:31:25.542 In 2010, I won 21 games, 635 00:31:25.625 --> 00:31:28.709 and that made me part of the Black Aces. 636 00:31:28.792 --> 00:31:30.417 If you haven't heard of us, 637 00:31:30.500 --> 00:31:32.834 there are just 15 of us in history: 638 00:31:32.917 --> 00:31:36.709 African-American pitchers who have won 20 games in a season. 639 00:31:38.250 --> 00:31:43.166 - Sabathia, a true ace in every single possible way. 640 00:31:45.125 --> 00:31:47.583 - At that point, I absolutely felt 641 00:31:47.667 --> 00:31:51.083 that I was as good as any pitcher in baseball. 642 00:31:51.166 --> 00:31:53.583 - 2009, 2010, '11, 643 00:31:53.667 --> 00:31:55.458 I felt like, no matter what, 644 00:31:55.542 --> 00:31:57.750 when CC was out there, he was gonna get the win. 645 00:31:57.834 --> 00:32:00.583 It was just this confidence that he had 646 00:32:00.667 --> 00:32:03.709 that he felt like he was unstoppable. 647 00:32:03.792 --> 00:32:05.458 - And the 2-2. 648 00:32:05.542 --> 00:32:07.625 He struck him out! 649 00:32:07.709 --> 00:32:09.583 Yankees win 1-0 650 00:32:09.667 --> 00:32:13.125 and CC Sabathia with a complete game. 651 00:32:13.208 --> 00:32:17.792 Four-hit, 1-0 shutout. An absolutely gem. 652 00:32:19.667 --> 00:32:21.125 - If that was the peak of my career 653 00:32:21.208 --> 00:32:23.375 as far as, you know, on the field, 654 00:32:23.458 --> 00:32:25.583 everybody sees me as this horse, this ace, 655 00:32:25.667 --> 00:32:28.542 this All-Star pitcher... 656 00:32:28.625 --> 00:32:31.083 but really, on the other side of it, 657 00:32:31.166 --> 00:32:32.750 I'm really struggling. 658 00:32:41.208 --> 00:32:44.291 First time I drank, I was 14 years old, 659 00:32:44.375 --> 00:32:45.959 and I was always a binge drinker, 660 00:32:46.041 --> 00:32:48.125 always, from the very first day. 661 00:32:50.542 --> 00:32:52.625 That very first night, I remember-- 662 00:32:52.709 --> 00:32:56.000 I mean, I drank as much as I possibly could get down. 663 00:32:56.083 --> 00:32:59.166 And that was always my MO from then on. 664 00:33:01.709 --> 00:33:04.750 Early in my career and throughout the minor leagues, 665 00:33:04.834 --> 00:33:06.792 I was always the youngest on the team, 666 00:33:06.875 --> 00:33:07.959 so that meant we go out 667 00:33:08.041 --> 00:33:10.542 and whoever would bring me drinks to the bathroom, 668 00:33:10.625 --> 00:33:13.083 and I would just suck 'em down in the bathroom 669 00:33:13.166 --> 00:33:14.125 right in the bathroom stall. 670 00:33:14.208 --> 00:33:15.375 Three or four drinks right there at a time, 671 00:33:15.458 --> 00:33:17.250 and that's how I would drink. 672 00:33:17.333 --> 00:33:20.583 So I kind of started off a huge binge drinker 673 00:33:20.667 --> 00:33:22.333 in my teens, 674 00:33:22.417 --> 00:33:25.041 and it just progressively got worse, you know, 675 00:33:25.125 --> 00:33:26.625 through my 20s and 30s. 676 00:33:29.792 --> 00:33:32.000 - He was always anxious being in large groups, 677 00:33:32.083 --> 00:33:33.667 and as we got older, 678 00:33:33.750 --> 00:33:37.834 alcohol was kinda his coping mechanism for multiple things. 679 00:33:37.917 --> 00:33:40.166 But then he also dealt with the anxiety of knowing 680 00:33:40.250 --> 00:33:42.709 that, "I was drunk last night and I did something 681 00:33:42.792 --> 00:33:45.000 "or I said something that I shouldn't have, 682 00:33:45.083 --> 00:33:47.208 and so how do I cope with this today?" 683 00:33:47.291 --> 00:33:49.166 And that would be alcohol. 684 00:33:49.250 --> 00:33:52.000 Or deaths--I mean, 685 00:33:52.083 --> 00:33:55.291 deaths were a huge part of his life. 686 00:33:55.375 --> 00:33:58.125 "My grandmother, my father, my uncle. 687 00:33:58.208 --> 00:34:00.875 "All these people have died. 688 00:34:00.959 --> 00:34:03.542 How can I deal with it? I'm gonna drink." 689 00:34:05.458 --> 00:34:06.750 - I was drinking to escape everything 690 00:34:06.834 --> 00:34:09.667 and try to find a way to not think about 691 00:34:09.750 --> 00:34:11.875 the people that I was missing, the people that I lost, 692 00:34:11.959 --> 00:34:14.709 me trying to navigate a career. 693 00:34:14.792 --> 00:34:17.083 Or even everything that was going on back home. 694 00:34:17.166 --> 00:34:18.750 Growing up in the hood and being the one that make it, 695 00:34:18.834 --> 00:34:20.709 I mean, it's a lot of pressure too. 696 00:34:20.792 --> 00:34:23.583 Signing the contract that I did, it could mess you up 697 00:34:23.667 --> 00:34:26.709 because I feel like people thought I had $161 million, 698 00:34:26.792 --> 00:34:27.875 like, that day. 699 00:34:27.959 --> 00:34:30.709 So I think, you know, everybody wanted something. 700 00:34:32.250 --> 00:34:33.500 Having that type of pressure 701 00:34:33.583 --> 00:34:35.208 and then missing a bunch of people 702 00:34:35.291 --> 00:34:38.417 and not having the real guidance of a father, 703 00:34:38.500 --> 00:34:41.375 it was just easier to get fucked up and just fall asleep 704 00:34:41.458 --> 00:34:43.875 and not think about stuff for a couple days. 705 00:34:46.291 --> 00:34:48.458 - That'll be a 1-2 to Heyward. 706 00:34:48.542 --> 00:34:51.083 And Sabathia deals. 707 00:34:51.166 --> 00:34:52.583 Struck him out swinging. 708 00:34:52.667 --> 00:34:55.083 Ball game over. Yankees win. 709 00:34:55.166 --> 00:34:58.834 The Yankees win! 710 00:35:00.250 --> 00:35:03.917 - I managed being a alcoholic and being able to pitch. 711 00:35:04.000 --> 00:35:05.917 I would detox myself. 712 00:35:08.834 --> 00:35:11.125 Say I pitched on Monday. 713 00:35:13.750 --> 00:35:15.917 Monday night, Tuesday night, Wednesday night, 714 00:35:16.000 --> 00:35:19.417 I'm hammered, blackout drunk. 715 00:35:19.500 --> 00:35:22.417 Thursday, Friday, I don't drink at all, like, nothing. 716 00:35:22.500 --> 00:35:24.208 Straight water, Gatorade. 717 00:35:25.875 --> 00:35:28.625 Pitch Saturday, when I'm comin' outta the game, 718 00:35:28.709 --> 00:35:31.667 I need a Crown and Sprite in my locker. 719 00:35:34.041 --> 00:35:37.750 So I would literally start after the last pitch I threw. 720 00:35:37.834 --> 00:35:40.458 If I won, I was celebrating because I won. 721 00:35:40.542 --> 00:35:41.709 If I pitched bad, 722 00:35:41.792 --> 00:35:44.500 then I was pissed off, so I needed a drink. 723 00:35:44.583 --> 00:35:48.000 There was never a shortage of reasons why I needed to drink 724 00:35:48.083 --> 00:35:50.959 or why I needed a cup, you know? 725 00:35:52.750 --> 00:35:54.000 - Bases loaded with two guys. 726 00:35:54.083 --> 00:35:57.625 Sabathia try to limit that damage right here. 727 00:35:57.709 --> 00:35:59.333 And he does. 728 00:36:03.500 --> 00:36:07.000 - You have CC, the bear. The grizzly bear on the mound. 729 00:36:07.083 --> 00:36:09.709 When you get that roar after he strikes a guy out, 730 00:36:09.792 --> 00:36:12.208 you're gonna get that all the time in a big game. 731 00:36:12.291 --> 00:36:14.333 And then you get the hulk. 732 00:36:14.417 --> 00:36:17.333 The hulk is alcohol, too much. 733 00:36:17.417 --> 00:36:19.458 The signs start the first couple of drinks. 734 00:36:19.542 --> 00:36:21.000 He starts grabbing his shirt 735 00:36:21.083 --> 00:36:23.500 and he's, like, you know, uncomfortable 736 00:36:23.583 --> 00:36:25.291 and getting hot and you're sweating 737 00:36:25.375 --> 00:36:27.709 and then the hulk starts to bubble a little bit, 738 00:36:27.792 --> 00:36:29.834 and then when the full hulk comes out, 739 00:36:29.917 --> 00:36:33.041 it's, "I wanna fight with anybody." 740 00:36:33.125 --> 00:36:36.542 For some reason, CC, alcohol, and too much of it 741 00:36:36.625 --> 00:36:38.166 made this hulk come out. 742 00:36:38.250 --> 00:36:41.083 It was never a positive ending ever. 743 00:36:43.208 --> 00:36:46.291 - 2012 was a tough year. I'm drinking way more. 744 00:36:46.375 --> 00:36:48.792 Relationships with my family back in Vallejo was-- 745 00:36:48.875 --> 00:36:50.792 is getting bad, I'm ruining holidays, 746 00:36:50.875 --> 00:36:52.959 you know, everything is crumbling off the field 747 00:36:53.041 --> 00:36:55.333 and the only way I know how to cope with it is alcohol. 748 00:37:00.583 --> 00:37:03.625 The end of August, me and Amber get into a big fight 749 00:37:03.709 --> 00:37:05.875 at Little C's football game. 750 00:37:05.959 --> 00:37:07.875 It was an off day. I had already been drinking. 751 00:37:07.959 --> 00:37:09.208 I was drunk at the game. 752 00:37:09.291 --> 00:37:11.000 And I come home, 753 00:37:11.083 --> 00:37:13.583 and I had a old-school Cutlass at the time, 754 00:37:13.667 --> 00:37:15.333 and I take that out, and I'm gonna drive. 755 00:37:15.417 --> 00:37:17.208 And I'm--I'm outta here. 756 00:37:17.291 --> 00:37:19.417 So I drive my car down the hill 757 00:37:19.500 --> 00:37:22.750 and I end up going through a fence and hitting a tree. 758 00:37:24.792 --> 00:37:26.417 Top down, you know, I'm drunk. 759 00:37:26.500 --> 00:37:28.417 And it's basically--that could've been the end of it. 760 00:37:28.500 --> 00:37:31.166 I could've ended my life right there. 761 00:37:31.250 --> 00:37:32.875 Me and Amber made the decision 762 00:37:33.000 --> 00:37:35.375 to go to couples therapy that next week 763 00:37:35.458 --> 00:37:39.917 and try to get help, but I was still really bad. 764 00:37:40.000 --> 00:37:42.083 And then that off-season, 765 00:37:42.166 --> 00:37:44.291 my cousin Demetrius, we call him MeMe, 766 00:37:44.375 --> 00:37:46.875 I was looking forward to seeing him at Christmas. 767 00:37:46.959 --> 00:37:50.500 You know, my idol, I looked up to him. 768 00:37:50.583 --> 00:37:52.792 He was a huge, big-time athlete in Vallejo, 769 00:37:52.875 --> 00:37:57.041 went to University of Nevada, played football. 770 00:37:57.125 --> 00:37:59.458 Me and Amber were packing everybody's stuff up. 771 00:37:59.542 --> 00:38:02.250 We were going home to go back for Christmas. 772 00:38:02.333 --> 00:38:04.875 And we were leaving that the next morning. 773 00:38:04.959 --> 00:38:07.250 That day, my mom calls me screaming--that morning. 774 00:38:07.333 --> 00:38:10.750 She was like, "He's gone! He's gone! I don't know! 775 00:38:10.834 --> 00:38:12.375 I don't know what to do, C! He's gone!" 776 00:38:12.458 --> 00:38:13.375 And I'm like, "What?" 777 00:38:13.458 --> 00:38:15.834 Like, "What are you guys talking about?" 778 00:38:15.917 --> 00:38:19.792 And my cousin had just had a massive heart attack. 779 00:38:19.875 --> 00:38:22.458 He passed away at 45. 780 00:38:25.583 --> 00:38:29.625 MeMe's death really crushed me because he was really my idol. 781 00:38:29.709 --> 00:38:31.291 I didn't have to look on TV, 782 00:38:31.375 --> 00:38:35.166 I didn't have to go anywhere to look up to somebody. 783 00:38:35.250 --> 00:38:36.792 My dad passing away, me dealing with that, 784 00:38:36.875 --> 00:38:38.834 and then me dealing with MeMe passing away 785 00:38:38.917 --> 00:38:40.959 is really what, like, sent me on that spiral 786 00:38:41.041 --> 00:38:43.458 down a really, really dark path. 787 00:38:46.875 --> 00:38:49.750 I think those two guys were more my heroes than anything, 788 00:38:49.834 --> 00:38:53.083 and they passed away so early. 789 00:38:53.166 --> 00:38:55.667 I felt abandoned. 790 00:39:03.458 --> 00:39:05.834 No matter how old you get, you still always need, like, 791 00:39:05.917 --> 00:39:08.709 a male figure, somebody solid that you can lean on, 792 00:39:08.792 --> 00:39:11.834 that you can talk to, somebody that knows you. 793 00:39:11.917 --> 00:39:14.500 And I feel like I don't have that, like, at all. 794 00:39:14.583 --> 00:39:16.458 My father, my cousin, you know, 795 00:39:16.542 --> 00:39:19.166 I don't have anybody in my family 796 00:39:19.250 --> 00:39:22.667 that I can really lean on like that, 797 00:39:22.750 --> 00:39:24.667 and, you know, that's always a tough thing for me. 798 00:39:24.750 --> 00:39:26.542 I still deal with that. 799 00:39:42.583 --> 00:39:45.166 This is, like, my arena for whatever. 800 00:39:45.250 --> 00:39:47.041 You know, whether it was, you know, 801 00:39:47.125 --> 00:39:50.333 watching baseball, basketball, football, whatever, playing. 802 00:39:50.417 --> 00:39:51.917 I have my Sega set up back here. 803 00:39:52.000 --> 00:39:56.750 We had, like, a china cabinet and I had my TV right here. 804 00:39:56.834 --> 00:39:58.709 It always feels good to be back here and be home 805 00:39:58.792 --> 00:40:01.333 and like, this is home-- like, I was born here. 806 00:40:01.417 --> 00:40:03.750 - Hey! 807 00:40:03.834 --> 00:40:07.875 - Corky wanted to teach CC how to cut the grass. 808 00:40:07.959 --> 00:40:10.125 My mom went right out behind him. 809 00:40:10.208 --> 00:40:12.583 She said, "What do you want with CC?" 810 00:40:12.667 --> 00:40:14.208 Corky said, "I wanna teach him 811 00:40:14.291 --> 00:40:16.542 how to maintain the front yard." 812 00:40:16.625 --> 00:40:19.500 And so she says, "Nah, nah, nah, he don't do that. 813 00:40:19.583 --> 00:40:20.709 He's gonna be a baseball player." 814 00:40:20.792 --> 00:40:23.291 - "He's a baseball player." 815 00:40:23.375 --> 00:40:25.083 - It was crazy. She stopped everything. 816 00:40:25.166 --> 00:40:26.083 - Yeah, she did. 817 00:40:26.166 --> 00:40:27.542 She wouldn't let me get a job or nothing. 818 00:40:27.625 --> 00:40:29.750 I tried to get a job at Marine World. 819 00:40:29.834 --> 00:40:30.750 "You ain't got time for that." - No. 820 00:40:30.834 --> 00:40:31.750 - "You got baseball." - Yeah. 821 00:40:31.834 --> 00:40:34.041 She said, "You focus on baseball. 822 00:40:34.125 --> 00:40:35.917 That's all I need you to do." 823 00:40:37.959 --> 00:40:40.875 - Miss! 824 00:40:40.959 --> 00:40:42.959 - Oh, wow. 825 00:40:43.041 --> 00:40:44.166 Oh, good shot. 826 00:40:44.250 --> 00:40:47.458 I used to go back to Vallejo a few times a year. 827 00:40:47.542 --> 00:40:49.542 Obviously, to see my mom. 828 00:40:49.625 --> 00:40:51.875 And then also to visit the people in my family 829 00:40:51.959 --> 00:40:54.208 I still miss to this day. 830 00:40:56.667 --> 00:40:58.083 - See the little basketball hoop 831 00:40:58.166 --> 00:40:59.083 and basketball right there? 832 00:40:59.166 --> 00:41:00.083 - Where's MeMe? - Right there. 833 00:41:00.166 --> 00:41:01.792 - Ah. - Oh. 834 00:41:04.667 --> 00:41:07.792 - Man, I'll never forget that call. 835 00:41:07.875 --> 00:41:09.500 It's my grandma. 836 00:41:12.834 --> 00:41:17.083 My father's also buried here. We have the same name. 837 00:41:17.166 --> 00:41:20.291 And then I named my oldest after him too. 838 00:41:20.375 --> 00:41:22.792 - Can I see? - That's Corky. 839 00:41:22.875 --> 00:41:24.792 He probably would be saying, "Call me Grandpa." 840 00:41:24.875 --> 00:41:26.583 - Mm-hmm. 841 00:41:28.875 --> 00:41:30.625 - I'm not lying. 842 00:41:30.709 --> 00:41:31.750 I didn't really think much 843 00:41:31.834 --> 00:41:34.000 about the demons my dad faced for a long time. 844 00:41:36.375 --> 00:41:39.000 But the truth I think I had to face 845 00:41:39.083 --> 00:41:43.166 was that I was haunted just like he was. 846 00:41:43.250 --> 00:41:45.166 Not what you want to have in common with your dad, 847 00:41:45.250 --> 00:41:47.417 but it is what it is. 848 00:41:54.250 --> 00:41:58.000 - This will be C Sabathia's tenth career opening day start 849 00:41:58.083 --> 00:41:59.709 and fifth with the Yankees. 850 00:41:59.792 --> 00:42:01.834 - Here is the 0-2 to Ellsbury. 851 00:42:01.917 --> 00:42:04.166 Swung on. A little pop up to short. 852 00:42:04.250 --> 00:42:05.667 Núñez makes the catch 853 00:42:05.750 --> 00:42:07.250 on the edge of the outfield grass, 854 00:42:07.333 --> 00:42:11.458 and the 2013 season has officially begun in the Bronx. 855 00:42:13.250 --> 00:42:17.000 - Early in 2013, I started taking a pill called Antabuse 856 00:42:17.083 --> 00:42:20.000 where if you drink while you take this pill, 857 00:42:20.083 --> 00:42:21.500 you'll violently get sick. 858 00:42:21.583 --> 00:42:23.458 You'll start throwing up, throwing up. 859 00:42:25.125 --> 00:42:27.542 - But we realized that CC was hiding it. 860 00:42:27.625 --> 00:42:29.166 Taking the pill, putting it in his mouth, 861 00:42:29.250 --> 00:42:30.375 and spitting it out. 862 00:42:30.458 --> 00:42:32.375 He was taking the pill, putting it in his pocket. 863 00:42:32.458 --> 00:42:33.542 Or he was saying, 864 00:42:33.625 --> 00:42:37.375 "Yeah, I took it," and not taking it. 865 00:42:37.458 --> 00:42:38.875 - While I was taking the Antabuse, 866 00:42:38.959 --> 00:42:41.000 and I'm not supposed to be drinking, you know, 867 00:42:41.083 --> 00:42:43.208 really 2013, '14, and '15, 868 00:42:43.291 --> 00:42:45.417 I'm still drinking the whole time. 869 00:42:45.500 --> 00:42:47.542 I was trying to stop drinking for my mom and Amber 870 00:42:47.625 --> 00:42:49.375 and get everybody off my back. 871 00:42:49.458 --> 00:42:50.542 I didn't really wanna stop, 872 00:42:50.625 --> 00:42:52.542 I just wanted people to get off my back. 873 00:42:52.625 --> 00:42:55.375 So you know, that's a huge difference in, 874 00:42:55.458 --> 00:42:57.500 you know, being sober for somebody else 875 00:42:57.583 --> 00:43:01.083 and being sober and really staying sober for yourself. 876 00:43:04.083 --> 00:43:05.583 - It's driven to right field and deep. 877 00:43:05.667 --> 00:43:08.250 Going back. Young, still back, see ya. 878 00:43:08.333 --> 00:43:10.625 Joe Girardi has seen enough of CC. 879 00:43:10.709 --> 00:43:13.625 - A very short day for CC. 880 00:43:18.709 --> 00:43:21.750 - Sabathia on Thursday. Awful yet again. 881 00:43:21.834 --> 00:43:24.125 And this is a growing trend with CC Sabathia. 882 00:43:24.208 --> 00:43:25.625 - Did you see CC Sabathia? 883 00:43:25.709 --> 00:43:28.208 He should've been out of the rotation in May. 884 00:43:28.291 --> 00:43:29.208 What are they waiting for? 885 00:43:29.291 --> 00:43:30.250 - It's time to pull the plug on CC. 886 00:43:30.333 --> 00:43:31.959 I think most Yankee fans have had enough. 887 00:43:32.041 --> 00:43:34.959 He doesn't fool anybody and when he makes mistakes, 888 00:43:35.041 --> 00:43:36.208 they leave the park. 889 00:43:36.291 --> 00:43:37.333 - I think by 2015, 890 00:43:37.417 --> 00:43:39.083 it had been pretty obvious for a few seasons 891 00:43:39.166 --> 00:43:41.250 that I wasn't the same pitcher anymore. 892 00:43:46.458 --> 00:43:48.166 I struggled with some injuries, 893 00:43:48.250 --> 00:43:51.291 and then I think the things I was doing away from the game, 894 00:43:51.375 --> 00:43:53.959 it all became like a big cycle. 895 00:43:54.041 --> 00:43:57.083 - And CC's still barking at Dan Bellino. 896 00:43:57.166 --> 00:43:58.583 And now, I think he might've gotten ejected. 897 00:43:58.667 --> 00:43:59.959 And Joe Girardi is kicking dirt 898 00:44:00.041 --> 00:44:02.208 and he gets ejected as well. 899 00:44:02.291 --> 00:44:04.500 - Bullshit! Fuck you, ump! 900 00:44:04.583 --> 00:44:06.792 Horseshit! Horseshit, motherfucker! 901 00:44:06.875 --> 00:44:08.291 It was really difficult to deal 902 00:44:08.375 --> 00:44:12.959 with not being the guy who I was when I was at my best. 903 00:44:13.041 --> 00:44:14.250 Off the field, you know, 904 00:44:14.333 --> 00:44:18.625 I'm struggling even more than I ever have before. 905 00:44:18.709 --> 00:44:22.667 The incidents that I had in 2015 906 00:44:22.750 --> 00:44:27.166 I think just kind of signaled where I was at 907 00:44:27.250 --> 00:44:30.166 where I just wasn't giving a fuck about anything. 908 00:44:30.250 --> 00:44:33.500 Obviously, me standing on a balcony in Atlanta 909 00:44:33.583 --> 00:44:35.917 smoking weed is not the best thing 910 00:44:36.000 --> 00:44:38.542 for an athlete to be doing. 911 00:44:38.625 --> 00:44:42.000 - I think that was the start of a really bad September. 912 00:44:42.083 --> 00:44:44.000 He then goes off to Toronto, 913 00:44:44.083 --> 00:44:46.792 drinks, gets in a huge fight outside the club. 914 00:44:48.458 --> 00:44:50.500 - That never happens if I'm not drinking. 915 00:44:50.583 --> 00:44:52.667 That could've been a horrible situation. 916 00:44:52.750 --> 00:44:54.709 My cousin's trying to push me in a cab, 917 00:44:54.792 --> 00:44:56.834 my shoe's coming off, it's embarrassing as hell. 918 00:44:59.875 --> 00:45:03.667 I put my friends, teammates in a bad situation 919 00:45:03.750 --> 00:45:06.291 and, you know, I just felt horrible about that. 920 00:45:06.375 --> 00:45:10.458 And, you know, after Toronto, I knew I needed help. 921 00:45:10.542 --> 00:45:13.709 I just didn't know if I had the balls to go get help. 922 00:45:13.792 --> 00:45:16.250 If I--you know, if I had the courage to tell somebody 923 00:45:16.333 --> 00:45:18.041 that I'm an alcoholic and I need to get help 924 00:45:18.125 --> 00:45:20.291 and I can't stop. 925 00:45:22.792 --> 00:45:27.375 - Lot of hard work from February to October. 926 00:45:27.458 --> 00:45:29.250 Swung on and missed! 927 00:45:29.333 --> 00:45:32.667 And the Yankees are going to the postseason. 928 00:45:34.667 --> 00:45:35.709 - What does it feel like 929 00:45:35.792 --> 00:45:36.834 to know you're going back to the postseason? 930 00:45:36.917 --> 00:45:38.083 - No, it's a good feeling. 931 00:45:38.166 --> 00:45:40.500 I mean just to work so hard the whole summer to spring, 932 00:45:40.583 --> 00:45:44.166 you know, and to be here at the end feels good, you know? 933 00:45:44.250 --> 00:45:45.166 - Yeah, it feels good! 934 00:45:45.250 --> 00:45:47.041 - It's, uh-- 935 00:45:47.125 --> 00:45:49.166 Since Toronto, I hadn't had a drink. 936 00:45:49.250 --> 00:45:51.875 And I didn't drink at all during the celebration. 937 00:45:51.959 --> 00:45:54.083 And we get on the bus 938 00:45:54.166 --> 00:45:57.417 and somebody handed me a bottle of, like, the white Hennessy. 939 00:45:57.500 --> 00:45:58.917 And I think I finished it before 940 00:45:59.000 --> 00:46:00.417 the bus got to the plane. 941 00:46:00.500 --> 00:46:03.792 And that just kinda, you know, set the scene for, you know, 942 00:46:03.875 --> 00:46:06.583 what ended up being a terrible weekend for me 943 00:46:06.667 --> 00:46:09.291 but really changed my life. 944 00:46:13.458 --> 00:46:15.709 We get to Baltimore that night. 945 00:46:15.792 --> 00:46:18.750 I'm drinking the whole rest of the night. 946 00:46:18.834 --> 00:46:21.417 I drink everything in the minibar. 947 00:46:23.583 --> 00:46:26.917 The next day, we get rained out. 948 00:46:27.000 --> 00:46:28.250 So once I know we get rained out, 949 00:46:28.333 --> 00:46:29.750 then I order two bottles of Hennessy 950 00:46:29.834 --> 00:46:32.083 from the room service downstairs. 951 00:46:34.583 --> 00:46:36.959 - I didn't talk to him that whole weekend. 952 00:46:37.041 --> 00:46:40.125 I knew what was happening, I knew what it was gonna be, 953 00:46:40.208 --> 00:46:41.917 and his cousin went out there, and he called me, and he said, 954 00:46:42.000 --> 00:46:43.625 "I can't stop him." 955 00:46:43.709 --> 00:46:45.291 He goes, "It's really bad, Amber. 956 00:46:45.375 --> 00:46:46.458 I don't know what to do." 957 00:46:46.542 --> 00:46:47.834 And I said, "You know what? 958 00:46:47.917 --> 00:46:50.458 There's nothing that I can do anymore." 959 00:46:50.542 --> 00:46:53.291 And I don't ever wanna say I was done, 960 00:46:53.375 --> 00:46:55.291 because I wasn't done with CC. 961 00:46:55.375 --> 00:46:57.667 I just done with dealing with that. 962 00:46:57.750 --> 00:47:02.291 So, um, I kind of just gave it up to God, you know? 963 00:47:02.375 --> 00:47:05.959 And... 964 00:47:06.041 --> 00:47:08.583 Sorry, guys. 965 00:47:15.375 --> 00:47:17.667 - Now here comes Sunday, last day of the season, 966 00:47:17.750 --> 00:47:19.375 and I'm supposed to throw a bullpen. 967 00:47:22.959 --> 00:47:28.000 I showed up that morning feeling a little hungover. 968 00:47:28.083 --> 00:47:29.834 Back then, what I would do if I felt hungover, 969 00:47:29.917 --> 00:47:31.291 I'm going to get another drink. 970 00:47:31.375 --> 00:47:32.625 So I immediately get to the stadium 971 00:47:32.709 --> 00:47:35.208 and grabbed another drink before I even have breakfast. 972 00:47:35.291 --> 00:47:39.041 And I'm supposed to throw a bullpen in a hour. 973 00:47:39.125 --> 00:47:41.667 This is the first time in my life that, like, 974 00:47:41.750 --> 00:47:45.542 I'm too drunk to do my job. 975 00:47:45.625 --> 00:47:47.208 Now it's actually a fucking problem 976 00:47:47.291 --> 00:47:48.667 because playoffs is coming, 977 00:47:48.750 --> 00:47:50.041 I'm supposed to be getting ready, 978 00:47:50.125 --> 00:47:51.208 and I can't throw a bullpen 979 00:47:51.291 --> 00:47:54.041 because I'm actually too fucking drunk to do it. 980 00:48:04.583 --> 00:48:06.166 I had just had enough. I was sick of it. 981 00:48:06.250 --> 00:48:10.542 I was just so exhausted of beating myself up, 982 00:48:10.625 --> 00:48:13.709 of feeling bad, of embarrassing Amber, 983 00:48:13.792 --> 00:48:16.709 embarrassing my family, embarrassing my teammates. 984 00:48:16.792 --> 00:48:19.583 I grabbed Dellin Betances, I grabbed Chris Young, 985 00:48:19.667 --> 00:48:23.000 and I was like, "Man, I think I need to go to rehab." 986 00:48:23.083 --> 00:48:25.709 And, you know, Chris Young said to me, he said, 987 00:48:25.792 --> 00:48:27.667 "You know, you gonna go in. You feel bad right now. 988 00:48:27.750 --> 00:48:31.000 But if you go into rehab, you gonna come out a hero." 989 00:48:31.083 --> 00:48:32.959 And, like, right when he said that, something just clicked 990 00:48:33.041 --> 00:48:34.875 and was like, "You have to do this. 991 00:48:34.959 --> 00:48:37.083 You have to do it and you have to make it public." 992 00:48:41.875 --> 00:48:45.709 I got a ride back to New York that day. 993 00:48:45.792 --> 00:48:48.750 - A major hit for the Yankees on the eve of the playoffs. 994 00:48:48.834 --> 00:48:51.542 Left-handed pitcher CC Sabathia announced Monday 995 00:48:51.625 --> 00:48:53.583 he would check himself into a rehab center 996 00:48:53.667 --> 00:48:56.458 to be treated for alcohol addiction. 997 00:48:56.542 --> 00:48:58.458 - This news had to shock the Yankees. 998 00:48:58.542 --> 00:49:00.583 - Yeah, completely. It took everybody by surprise. 999 00:49:00.667 --> 00:49:02.750 - A lot of people are questioning the timing 1000 00:49:02.834 --> 00:49:04.291 and understandably so. 1001 00:49:04.375 --> 00:49:06.959 - He's got a lot of courage to stand up when he did 1002 00:49:07.041 --> 00:49:09.208 because he knew that his family 1003 00:49:09.291 --> 00:49:11.291 and his children were first. 1004 00:49:14.417 --> 00:49:17.083 - You know, you're not really involved with players 1005 00:49:17.166 --> 00:49:19.917 away from the ballpark, so I had no idea 1006 00:49:20.000 --> 00:49:21.250 that, you know, CC was suffering 1007 00:49:21.333 --> 00:49:24.125 from this illness of alcoholism. 1008 00:49:24.208 --> 00:49:26.959 And when he raised his hand and acknowledged 1009 00:49:27.041 --> 00:49:28.458 that, you know, "I can't handle this. 1010 00:49:28.542 --> 00:49:30.792 I can't manage this. I need more support," 1011 00:49:30.875 --> 00:49:33.458 it was like, "We gotta help CC out 1012 00:49:33.542 --> 00:49:34.458 "and be there for him, 1013 00:49:34.542 --> 00:49:37.291 and whatever he needs, we're gonna do it." 1014 00:49:37.375 --> 00:49:39.458 - First thing I did when I was driving back from Baltimore 1015 00:49:39.542 --> 00:49:41.792 is went to the liquor store. 1016 00:49:41.875 --> 00:49:43.333 I went and grabbed two bottles of Hennessy. 1017 00:49:43.417 --> 00:49:47.291 This is my last time drinking? I'm getting fucked up. 1018 00:49:49.333 --> 00:49:51.000 - He drank all the way home. 1019 00:49:51.083 --> 00:49:53.625 He got here, and of course, he was emotional, 1020 00:49:53.709 --> 00:49:56.959 he was crying, he was saying, you know, "I can't take this." 1021 00:49:57.041 --> 00:49:59.792 I said, "You know, I'm proud of you, thank you, 1022 00:49:59.875 --> 00:50:02.500 "I'm so glad you made this decision, this is amazing, 1023 00:50:02.583 --> 00:50:05.000 but now you gotta go." 1024 00:50:10.750 --> 00:50:12.291 - When you first go to rehab, 1025 00:50:12.375 --> 00:50:13.500 they take all your shoelaces out. 1026 00:50:13.583 --> 00:50:15.291 You can't have any strings. 1027 00:50:15.375 --> 00:50:17.417 And, you know, any drawstrings in your sweats 1028 00:50:17.500 --> 00:50:19.000 and stuff like that. 1029 00:50:19.083 --> 00:50:20.291 And you realize, like, 1030 00:50:20.375 --> 00:50:22.834 how fucked up you let things get, you know? 1031 00:50:22.917 --> 00:50:25.834 Like, "Gosh, you couldn't stop drinking?" 1032 00:50:25.917 --> 00:50:28.166 Like, "You ended up in here? Like, look at you." 1033 00:50:28.250 --> 00:50:29.875 And then that night, the very first night, 1034 00:50:29.959 --> 00:50:32.000 that night, we're playing the Astros 1035 00:50:32.083 --> 00:50:34.333 in the fucking wildcard game. 1036 00:50:34.417 --> 00:50:37.458 I'm walking around a rehab facility with sweats on, 1037 00:50:37.542 --> 00:50:39.375 no shoestrings in my shoes, 1038 00:50:39.458 --> 00:50:41.625 watching my teammates play in Yankee Stadium. 1039 00:50:41.709 --> 00:50:43.583 Like, that's how fucked up I got. 1040 00:50:43.667 --> 00:50:45.208 Like, "That's how bad you let shit get 1041 00:50:45.291 --> 00:50:47.417 that you can't even be there for your teammates." 1042 00:50:47.500 --> 00:50:49.041 Like, that was a fucked up feeling. 1043 00:50:49.125 --> 00:50:50.542 That was a rock bottom. 1044 00:50:57.792 --> 00:51:02.375 Going into rehab, I wanted to dive deep 1045 00:51:02.458 --> 00:51:04.041 and figure out what was really my problem, 1046 00:51:04.125 --> 00:51:06.709 why I was really drinking, and why I couldn't stop. 1047 00:51:06.792 --> 00:51:08.709 And, you know, the first couple days, 1048 00:51:08.792 --> 00:51:10.041 you know, we had some assignments, 1049 00:51:10.125 --> 00:51:15.000 and one of the assignments was to write a letter to myself 1050 00:51:15.083 --> 00:51:17.375 as one of my family members. 1051 00:51:17.458 --> 00:51:20.875 You know, as if I passed away from, you know, alcoholism, 1052 00:51:20.959 --> 00:51:24.834 or, you know, got into an accident. 1053 00:51:24.917 --> 00:51:28.291 So I chose to write the letter as Little C. 1054 00:51:28.375 --> 00:51:32.291 I chose to write the letter as Carsten to me. 1055 00:51:32.375 --> 00:51:35.250 My roommate at the time pretended to be me 1056 00:51:35.333 --> 00:51:39.917 and I'm Carsten as I'm reading the letter to him, 1057 00:51:40.000 --> 00:51:44.208 and I get halfway through this letter that I wrote, 1058 00:51:44.291 --> 00:51:48.625 and I realize it's me talking to my father. 1059 00:51:51.667 --> 00:51:52.959 I got halfway through it, 1060 00:51:53.041 --> 00:51:57.417 and I'm talking about all the things that I missed about him 1061 00:51:57.500 --> 00:51:59.291 and how much that hurt 1062 00:51:59.375 --> 00:52:02.583 and how much I'm still hurt by it. 1063 00:52:02.667 --> 00:52:06.417 And right then, 1064 00:52:06.500 --> 00:52:08.917 I just knew I was never gonna have a drink again. 1065 00:52:13.208 --> 00:52:15.125 I just felt like this weight lifted off me, 1066 00:52:15.208 --> 00:52:19.083 like it was all the stuff I needed to say to my dad 1067 00:52:19.166 --> 00:52:20.458 that I never got a chance to say 1068 00:52:20.542 --> 00:52:22.500 or never got a chance to feel. 1069 00:52:22.583 --> 00:52:25.625 And in this letter that I'm writing as Carsten to myself, 1070 00:52:25.709 --> 00:52:28.000 it's me talking to my father. 1071 00:52:31.041 --> 00:52:33.125 That was all I needed. 1072 00:52:33.208 --> 00:52:36.375 I figured out what my problem was 1073 00:52:36.458 --> 00:52:38.959 and what I needed to say and, you know, 1074 00:52:39.041 --> 00:52:41.917 how much I missed my dad and stopped running from that. 1075 00:52:49.041 --> 00:52:51.333 I hope that rehab has made me a better father. 1076 00:52:51.417 --> 00:52:52.667 I hope that, you know, 1077 00:52:52.750 --> 00:52:54.709 rehab has made me a better person. 1078 00:52:56.917 --> 00:52:57.959 All I can tell you is 1079 00:52:58.041 --> 00:52:59.542 today, I know I'm not gonna have a drink, 1080 00:52:59.625 --> 00:53:00.834 and that's all you can do as an alcoholic 1081 00:53:00.917 --> 00:53:02.834 is take it one day at a time. 1082 00:53:05.000 --> 00:53:07.667 - We did it. He did it. 1083 00:53:07.750 --> 00:53:12.125 We did family therapy. We did the whole process. 1084 00:53:13.458 --> 00:53:18.500 But the fact that he finally admitted to having a problem 1085 00:53:18.583 --> 00:53:21.583 and realizing that he was done, and he was over... 1086 00:53:23.375 --> 00:53:27.500 Was the best thing for this family. 1087 00:53:27.583 --> 00:53:29.333 Alcoholism is so real, 1088 00:53:29.417 --> 00:53:32.041 and there's so many people that deal with this. 1089 00:53:32.125 --> 00:53:34.208 But because of baseball 1090 00:53:34.291 --> 00:53:37.375 and the passion that CC had for baseball, 1091 00:53:37.458 --> 00:53:41.375 it made him realize that family, his career, 1092 00:53:41.458 --> 00:53:44.083 was much more important than alcohol, 1093 00:53:44.166 --> 00:53:48.041 and he was able to fight it, overcome it, 1094 00:53:48.125 --> 00:53:49.542 and finish his career. 1095 00:53:51.291 --> 00:53:53.208 - Here's Pérez. Shortening up. 1096 00:53:53.291 --> 00:53:57.542 CC slides and Pérez is retired. 1097 00:53:57.625 --> 00:53:59.875 - Being able to come out of rehab, '16, '17, '18, 1098 00:53:59.959 --> 00:54:01.542 and really pitch in '19, 1099 00:54:01.625 --> 00:54:02.709 that's the biggest accomplishment in my career, 1100 00:54:02.792 --> 00:54:03.750 I think. 1101 00:54:03.834 --> 00:54:05.500 - And the pitch. 1102 00:54:05.583 --> 00:54:07.333 Struck him out swinging. Slider. 1103 00:54:07.417 --> 00:54:10.041 How do you like the game Sabathia's pitching? 1104 00:54:11.709 --> 00:54:13.875 - The support I had from around the league, 1105 00:54:14.000 --> 00:54:15.917 the support I had from my teammates, 1106 00:54:16.000 --> 00:54:17.542 it definitely lifted me. 1107 00:54:17.625 --> 00:54:20.875 It helped me, you know, to go on and finish my career. 1108 00:54:39.166 --> 00:54:41.917 You know, I never really had any doubts about retiring 1109 00:54:42.000 --> 00:54:44.792 all through the 2019 season. 1110 00:54:46.208 --> 00:54:50.083 - CC still knows how to get it done. 1111 00:54:50.166 --> 00:54:52.417 Once was so dominating. 1112 00:54:52.500 --> 00:54:54.834 - I mean, by the time I was standing on that mound 1113 00:54:54.917 --> 00:54:56.834 against the Astros in the playoffs, 1114 00:54:56.917 --> 00:54:58.875 I was 39 years old. 1115 00:54:58.959 --> 00:55:00.625 And honestly, by this point, 1116 00:55:00.709 --> 00:55:03.583 my left shoulder had been killing me for weeks. 1117 00:55:05.041 --> 00:55:06.291 - That's lined to right. 1118 00:55:06.375 --> 00:55:08.166 Judge comes on, makes the catch. 1119 00:55:08.250 --> 00:55:10.625 Throw back to second. 1120 00:55:10.709 --> 00:55:13.625 Dropped by Gregorius. 1121 00:55:13.709 --> 00:55:15.083 - It wasn't like pitching through pain 1122 00:55:15.166 --> 00:55:16.959 was something new, though. 1123 00:55:17.041 --> 00:55:20.834 So that night, I was just gonna do what I always did: 1124 00:55:20.917 --> 00:55:23.834 put it out of my mind and try to come through for the team. 1125 00:55:25.709 --> 00:55:28.333 - 2-2 pitch. Díaz... 1126 00:55:28.417 --> 00:55:29.333 pops it up. 1127 00:55:29.417 --> 00:55:31.000 Backing up is Torres. 1128 00:55:31.083 --> 00:55:32.750 He stumbles out of the way 1129 00:55:32.834 --> 00:55:35.083 as Judge comes all the way out to catch it. 1130 00:55:37.917 --> 00:55:39.041 - Yeah, the perfect ending 1131 00:55:39.125 --> 00:55:40.834 would have been to cap off my last season 1132 00:55:40.917 --> 00:55:43.000 with another parade downtown. 1133 00:55:45.250 --> 00:55:47.000 - They're gonna want to go check on possibly 1134 00:55:47.083 --> 00:55:50.500 something that didn't feel right. 1135 00:55:50.583 --> 00:55:52.208 - He's in obvious pain 1136 00:55:52.291 --> 00:55:55.500 and he's trying to loosen up that left shoulder. 1137 00:55:55.583 --> 00:55:59.542 - But remember, you don't get to control how things end. 1138 00:55:59.625 --> 00:56:02.500 It's just not the way life works. 1139 00:56:02.583 --> 00:56:05.875 - Sabathia's gonna toss a pitch or two, 1140 00:56:05.959 --> 00:56:08.291 much to the delight of this Yankee Stadium crowd, 1141 00:56:08.375 --> 00:56:11.291 to see if he's all right to continue. 1142 00:56:15.834 --> 00:56:17.667 And I think they're gonna take him out of the game. 1143 00:56:17.750 --> 00:56:19.709 - Yes. 1144 00:56:19.792 --> 00:56:21.000 He's got his head down, 1145 00:56:21.083 --> 00:56:23.709 but the fans are gonna show him an awful lot of love. 1146 00:56:23.792 --> 00:56:24.709 This is the last time 1147 00:56:24.792 --> 00:56:27.041 you're gonna see him on the mound here. 1148 00:57:02.500 --> 00:57:03.709 - What'd you tell me right before playoffs 1149 00:57:03.792 --> 00:57:05.250 when I said, "Oh, you're gonna join the roster? 1150 00:57:05.333 --> 00:57:07.208 And you're like, "They're gonna have to wheel me off." 1151 00:57:07.291 --> 00:57:08.208 - Yeah. 1152 00:57:08.291 --> 00:57:09.208 - And that's what had to happen. 1153 00:57:09.291 --> 00:57:10.250 - It's the only way. 1154 00:57:10.333 --> 00:57:11.291 - Like you said, 1155 00:57:11.375 --> 00:57:12.792 "They're gonna have to wheel me off this mound. 1156 00:57:12.875 --> 00:57:15.875 "I'm not gonna say no. I'm gonna say I can pitch. 1157 00:57:15.959 --> 00:57:18.083 I'ma go out there and give it everything." 1158 00:57:18.166 --> 00:57:21.917 And so for it to happen to you, you weren't surprised, 1159 00:57:22.000 --> 00:57:24.208 and I think even for me in the stands when I was sitting there 1160 00:57:24.291 --> 00:57:26.083 and I was like, "Oh, it's his shoulder." 1161 00:57:26.166 --> 00:57:28.709 Like, it wasn't like, "Oh, my God! Something popped!" 1162 00:57:28.792 --> 00:57:29.917 Or, "Something's wrong." 1163 00:57:30.000 --> 00:57:31.166 I was like, "Oh, it's his shoulder. 1164 00:57:31.250 --> 00:57:33.959 Yeah, that's like-- - Like we knew. 1165 00:57:34.041 --> 00:57:35.500 - Almost like it's expected to happen. 1166 00:57:35.583 --> 00:57:37.083 - Yeah. - We just didn't know when. 1167 00:57:37.166 --> 00:57:41.417 - To get that ovation on the way out, man I mean, you know, 1168 00:57:41.500 --> 00:57:43.792 it was awesome. 1169 00:57:43.875 --> 00:57:45.625 And, honestly, to be able to pitch. 1170 00:57:45.709 --> 00:57:49.542 I didn't think I was gonna be able to pitch in the playoffs, 1171 00:57:49.625 --> 00:57:52.333 and that's all I wanted to do, and man, 1172 00:57:52.417 --> 00:57:54.417 I was so nervous and everything, 1173 00:57:54.500 --> 00:57:55.625 you know, around it, 1174 00:57:55.709 --> 00:57:58.125 but when I'm in those games, that's like-- 1175 00:57:58.208 --> 00:58:00.291 that's what I was put here to do is pitch in those games. 1176 00:58:00.375 --> 00:58:03.000 So I'm glad I got a chance to do that one more time 1177 00:58:03.083 --> 00:58:06.709 whether it was for one batter or a couple. 1178 00:58:06.792 --> 00:58:09.625 2/3 of an inning or whatever. 1179 00:58:09.709 --> 00:58:11.959 I'm not really sad, you know what I'm saying? 1180 00:58:12.041 --> 00:58:14.583 It's just... 1181 00:58:14.667 --> 00:58:15.625 kinda is what it is. 1182 00:58:15.709 --> 00:58:16.917 I'm more sad about us getting our asses kicked 1183 00:58:17.000 --> 00:58:18.000 by these fucking assholes 1184 00:58:18.083 --> 00:58:21.083 than I am not being able to pitch. 1185 00:58:39.583 --> 00:58:42.458 - It's been a privilege. - Oh, thank you. 1186 00:58:42.542 --> 00:58:44.333 - You don't get what you mean to people, do you? 1187 00:58:44.417 --> 00:58:45.500 - I don't think so. 1188 00:58:45.583 --> 00:58:47.041 - Come into my office. 1189 00:58:49.041 --> 00:58:50.625 - I know you didn't want to go out like this obviously, 1190 00:58:50.709 --> 00:58:52.125 but how would you kind of sum up 1191 00:58:52.208 --> 00:58:53.834 this being, you know, the end for you? 1192 00:58:53.917 --> 00:58:56.458 - This is kind of the best way for it to end for me 1193 00:58:56.542 --> 00:58:58.625 because the way I've been feeling, 1194 00:58:58.709 --> 00:59:00.417 loving the bullpen, jogging out, 1195 00:59:00.500 --> 00:59:01.417 feeling pretty good. 1196 00:59:01.500 --> 00:59:03.375 I feel like about July of next year, 1197 00:59:03.458 --> 00:59:05.417 I would've been like, "I think I can pitch." 1198 00:59:05.500 --> 00:59:08.250 So I think it's just kind of fitting, you know? 1199 00:59:08.333 --> 00:59:10.333 I threw until I couldn't anymore. 1200 00:59:10.417 --> 00:59:12.375 That's what I signed up to do. 1201 00:59:12.458 --> 00:59:14.500 You know, pitch as long as I could 1202 00:59:14.583 --> 00:59:16.250 and, you know, as hard as I could 1203 00:59:16.333 --> 00:59:17.375 and take the ball every time out. 1204 00:59:17.458 --> 00:59:21.542 So, um, yeah, I have no regrets at all. 1205 00:59:27.458 --> 00:59:29.083 Four days later, 1206 00:59:29.166 --> 00:59:32.667 the season was over for the rest of the team, too, 1207 00:59:32.750 --> 00:59:33.709 and so I was back at the stadium 1208 00:59:33.792 --> 00:59:35.250 to clean out my locker, 1209 00:59:35.333 --> 00:59:38.500 another part of saying goodbye. 1210 00:59:38.583 --> 00:59:40.000 I don't even know where to start, guys. 1211 00:59:40.083 --> 00:59:41.583 - Yeah. 1212 00:59:41.667 --> 00:59:44.917 - Man, there's so much shit in here. 1213 00:59:45.000 --> 00:59:46.709 Gloves and shit, like. 1214 00:59:46.792 --> 00:59:49.959 When I got home and I was by myself... 1215 00:59:50.041 --> 00:59:52.458 and that shit must've just hit me like-- 1216 00:59:52.542 --> 00:59:53.917 it was all over, you know what I'm saying? 1217 00:59:54.000 --> 00:59:55.250 Like, God. 1218 00:59:55.333 --> 00:59:59.083 I was crushed Sunday night when we got back. 1219 00:59:59.166 --> 01:00:01.083 It was bad. - Oh, man. 1220 01:00:01.166 --> 01:00:02.917 - Love you, bud. - Love you, brother. 1221 01:00:03.000 --> 01:00:05.083 - I'll see you soon. - Yes, sir. 1222 01:00:05.166 --> 01:00:07.083 See you guys. 1223 01:00:07.166 --> 01:00:08.250 - Be back up here at some point. 1224 01:00:08.333 --> 01:00:10.875 - All right. Bye. 1225 01:00:10.959 --> 01:00:13.083 All right. You ready, Skip? 1226 01:00:13.166 --> 01:00:15.417 - You got room for this? 1227 01:00:15.500 --> 01:00:16.458 - I'll be back in the morning. 1228 01:00:16.542 --> 01:00:18.583 - All right. I'll be out this afternoon. 1229 01:00:18.667 --> 01:00:19.625 Can't thank you enough, brother. 1230 01:00:19.709 --> 01:00:20.709 - Of course. - For everything. 1231 01:00:20.792 --> 01:00:22.125 For everything you gave, everything you meant. 1232 01:00:22.208 --> 01:00:23.166 Man, I love you, brother. 1233 01:00:23.250 --> 01:00:24.208 - Love you too. - You bet. 1234 01:00:24.291 --> 01:00:25.208 Need anything, let me know. - Yeah. 1235 01:00:25.291 --> 01:00:28.125 We're going out. Out. 1236 01:00:32.417 --> 01:00:33.333 This feels good. 1237 01:00:33.417 --> 01:00:35.458 - It does? - Yeah. 1238 01:00:35.542 --> 01:00:37.583 Feels right. 1239 01:00:37.667 --> 01:00:39.667 It's time, cuz. 1240 01:00:52.875 --> 01:00:55.125 I don't miss being a baseball player at all. 1241 01:00:55.208 --> 01:00:57.125 I think I was done with the competition. 1242 01:00:57.208 --> 01:00:59.125 I'm so intense. 1243 01:00:59.208 --> 01:01:03.291 And I think it was taking a toll on my life so much. 1244 01:01:03.375 --> 01:01:05.083 I think I was kinda ready to be done. 1245 01:01:08.166 --> 01:01:11.375 You know, I think, had I not finished my career, 1246 01:01:11.458 --> 01:01:13.667 didn't get to go out on my own terms, 1247 01:01:13.750 --> 01:01:17.417 I would maybe feel differently, but I'm at peace with, 1248 01:01:17.500 --> 01:01:22.542 you know, just being a dad and kinda of hanging out now. 1249 01:01:33.792 --> 01:01:36.291 It's extremely exciting to be that baseball dad 1250 01:01:36.375 --> 01:01:39.333 with my wagon and my chair, my cooler, 1251 01:01:39.417 --> 01:01:42.041 and all my snacks and just be out there at the ballpark. 1252 01:01:43.625 --> 01:01:45.875 Let's go, C. 1253 01:01:48.250 --> 01:01:50.500 Mm, good swing. - Heads up, first base! 1254 01:01:50.583 --> 01:01:51.750 - This is life. 1255 01:01:51.834 --> 01:01:54.208 This is what, you know, it's what I worked so hard for. 1256 01:01:54.291 --> 01:01:56.041 To be able to watch him and, you know, 1257 01:01:56.125 --> 01:01:58.208 it's a blessing that he's healthy and he can play 1258 01:01:58.291 --> 01:01:59.375 and you know, 1259 01:01:59.458 --> 01:02:01.041 he's playing in some of these big tournaments now, 1260 01:02:01.125 --> 01:02:02.667 so it's just a lot of fun. 1261 01:02:02.750 --> 01:02:04.542 - Strike! 1262 01:02:04.625 --> 01:02:06.000 - I just always known, you know, 1263 01:02:06.083 --> 01:02:07.333 I wanted to play baseball. 1264 01:02:07.417 --> 01:02:08.542 Since I was born, being in, 1265 01:02:08.625 --> 01:02:10.375 you know, Major League stadiums, 1266 01:02:10.458 --> 01:02:12.250 watching baseball games my entire life, 1267 01:02:12.333 --> 01:02:13.667 that definitely had something to do with it, 1268 01:02:13.750 --> 01:02:15.333 something that pushed me, you know. 1269 01:02:15.417 --> 01:02:17.875 It's definitely a motivating factor for sure. 1270 01:02:20.625 --> 01:02:22.709 Man, it's awesome having my Dad there. 1271 01:02:22.792 --> 01:02:23.709 To be there for the games, you know, 1272 01:02:23.792 --> 01:02:24.709 I can kinda look over my shoulder 1273 01:02:24.792 --> 01:02:25.875 and see him there, you know. 1274 01:02:25.959 --> 01:02:27.041 Like, it's pretty cool 1275 01:02:27.125 --> 01:02:29.083 not having to, like, wait 30 minutes after the game, 1276 01:02:29.166 --> 01:02:31.000 FaceTime him, you know, text back and forth, 1277 01:02:31.083 --> 01:02:32.417 wait for a couple responses, you know. 1278 01:02:32.500 --> 01:02:34.583 I can get his feedback and input right then and there, 1279 01:02:34.667 --> 01:02:35.875 so it's something 1280 01:02:35.959 --> 01:02:38.125 that definitely helps my game a lot. 1281 01:02:39.959 --> 01:02:41.792 - So you don't wanna swing at the first pitch? 1282 01:02:41.875 --> 01:02:43.166 - Yeah. 1283 01:02:43.834 --> 01:02:45.750 - Runner on third, less than two outs, 1284 01:02:45.834 --> 01:02:46.917 early in the game, 1285 01:02:47.000 --> 01:02:48.125 and there's only a runner on third? 1286 01:02:48.208 --> 01:02:49.291 Then you swing at the first pitch. 1287 01:02:49.375 --> 01:02:50.709 - Yeah. 1288 01:02:50.792 --> 01:02:54.583 - When I sit and watch or I go to Carson's games, 1289 01:02:54.667 --> 01:02:57.458 I know my dad would be right there with me. 1290 01:02:57.542 --> 01:03:00.750 That makes me miss him a lot. 1291 01:03:00.834 --> 01:03:02.125 There's not a day that goes by 1292 01:03:02.208 --> 01:03:04.417 that something don't make me miss my dad. 1293 01:03:04.500 --> 01:03:08.417 But I know my dad 1,000% is watching. 1294 01:03:08.500 --> 01:03:10.083 One more. - All right. 1295 01:03:13.041 --> 01:03:14.625 There you go. 1296 01:03:19.208 --> 01:03:20.875 - It's definitely been a roller-coaster ride. 1297 01:03:20.959 --> 01:03:22.625 There's ups, there's downs, 1298 01:03:22.709 --> 01:03:24.458 there's things that happen that you don't plan. 1299 01:03:24.542 --> 01:03:27.291 We never planned on CC to have a clogged artery and, you know, 1300 01:03:27.375 --> 01:03:31.417 possibly end his career or possibly die from. 1301 01:03:31.500 --> 01:03:33.625 No idea that CC would, at some point, 1302 01:03:33.709 --> 01:03:36.125 deal with, you know, addiction and alcohol 1303 01:03:36.208 --> 01:03:38.959 and admit his self that he had an addiction 1304 01:03:39.041 --> 01:03:41.917 and put his self into rehab. 1305 01:03:42.000 --> 01:03:44.917 Through it all, it's been a hell of a ride. 1306 01:03:48.083 --> 01:03:49.625 - I went through this thing 20 years 1307 01:03:49.709 --> 01:03:51.333 and kind of did it my way. 1308 01:03:53.834 --> 01:03:54.750 Every single day, 1309 01:03:54.834 --> 01:03:55.959 I wake up grateful that I'm sober, 1310 01:03:56.041 --> 01:03:58.792 that I have people that love me that are around me, 1311 01:03:58.875 --> 01:04:00.500 and that I'm, you know, I'm healthy enough to go out 1312 01:04:00.583 --> 01:04:02.458 and do the things that I love to do. 1313 01:04:24.291 --> 01:04:25.667 - I think I'd probably say 1314 01:04:25.750 --> 01:04:28.500 the thing that surprises me most about my life now 1315 01:04:28.583 --> 01:04:30.667 is how full it is without baseball. 1316 01:04:30.750 --> 01:04:31.667 All right, what's up, everybody? 1317 01:04:31.750 --> 01:04:33.542 We back. Another "R2C2." 1318 01:04:33.625 --> 01:04:36.000 How many different things I'm enjoying doing... 1319 01:04:36.083 --> 01:04:38.625 Besides Mo, was nobody else down there 1320 01:04:38.709 --> 01:04:40.917 that can get this out besides me. 1321 01:04:41.000 --> 01:04:44.542 How much I feel like I have to live for, 1322 01:04:44.625 --> 01:04:47.667 how much purpose I'm finding away from the field. 1323 01:04:47.750 --> 01:04:49.375 - What do we want? all: Justice! 1324 01:04:49.458 --> 01:04:51.083 - When do we want it? all: Now! 1325 01:04:53.625 --> 01:04:54.875 - When I think back to those days 1326 01:04:54.959 --> 01:04:57.166 in my grandmother's backyard, 1327 01:04:57.250 --> 01:04:59.500 all the dreams I had back then, 1328 01:04:59.583 --> 01:05:01.792 it's just crazy. 1329 01:05:01.875 --> 01:05:03.333 It all came true. 1330 01:05:11.875 --> 01:05:13.041 For so many years, 1331 01:05:13.125 --> 01:05:15.417 no matter what was going on in my life, 1332 01:05:15.500 --> 01:05:18.250 the game was this place that always gave me refuge. 1333 01:05:20.583 --> 01:05:21.959 - Go, go! 1334 01:05:30.625 --> 01:05:33.583 - But now I'm 40 years old, 1335 01:05:33.667 --> 01:05:35.583 and after everything I've gone through, 1336 01:05:35.667 --> 01:05:37.458 I don't need baseball to find peace. 1337 01:05:40.500 --> 01:05:43.041 I'm ready to face the world 1338 01:05:43.125 --> 01:05:45.417 and take on whatever comes my way. 1339 01:07:02.875 --> 01:07:05.750 announcer: This has been a presentation of HBO Sports.