1 00:00:02,000 --> 00:00:07,000 Downloaded from YTS.MX 2 00:00:08,000 --> 00:00:13,000 Official YIFY movies site: YTS.MX 3 00:00:19,587 --> 00:00:22,556 Goddammit, see that's the thing, 4 00:00:22,590 --> 00:00:24,057 I also don't understand 5 00:00:24,090 --> 00:00:26,025 when people say things like Goddammit or Jesus Christ 6 00:00:26,059 --> 00:00:27,528 for a curse. 7 00:00:27,561 --> 00:00:29,128 No matter what religious affiliation you come from, 8 00:00:29,162 --> 00:00:30,730 we can all agree that Jesus Christ 9 00:00:30,763 --> 00:00:32,966 was like a really good dude, right? 10 00:00:32,999 --> 00:00:34,501 So like, why did we say it as a curse? 11 00:00:34,535 --> 00:00:36,470 Why don't we replace it with like, 12 00:00:36,503 --> 00:00:38,104 I don't know terrible people. 13 00:00:38,137 --> 00:00:40,407 You stub your toe, you're like, "Oh, Adolf Hitler." 14 00:00:40,441 --> 00:00:42,476 Or like you pour hot coffee in your lap, you're like, 15 00:00:42,509 --> 00:00:45,679 "Oh, oh, hot coffee, Christopher Columbus." 16 00:00:45,713 --> 00:00:46,913 Christopher Columbus? 17 00:00:46,946 --> 00:00:48,349 Oh yeah, apparently a really bad dude. 18 00:00:48,382 --> 00:00:50,251 We were completely misinformed in elementary school. 19 00:00:50,284 --> 00:00:53,254 Oh, stupid guy can't catch the ball. 20 00:00:53,287 --> 00:00:54,854 These pro athletes get paid millions 21 00:00:54,887 --> 00:00:56,390 of dollars a year to catch balls. 22 00:00:56,423 --> 00:00:58,891 You'd think their video game avatars could do the same. 23 00:00:58,925 --> 00:01:01,160 If I was a pro, I would catch every pass. 24 00:01:01,194 --> 00:01:03,597 Oh yeah, just like you'd make every single sale? 25 00:01:03,631 --> 00:01:05,798 So why aren't you out there making your millions then? 26 00:01:05,832 --> 00:01:07,701 Oh dude, you have no idea. 27 00:01:07,735 --> 00:01:10,069 I have a mint idea in the works. 28 00:01:10,103 --> 00:01:13,374 You put your kids in a car seat and they are contained. 29 00:01:13,407 --> 00:01:14,575 The nice, steady rocking 30 00:01:14,608 --> 00:01:16,109 of your vehicle knocks them right out. 31 00:01:16,142 --> 00:01:19,580 Kids always fall asleep in the car. 32 00:01:20,780 --> 00:01:25,686 And that is why I came up with the bed seats. 33 00:01:26,886 --> 00:01:28,955 All you have to do is strap your little spawn 34 00:01:28,988 --> 00:01:30,424 in with these restraints 35 00:01:30,457 --> 00:01:32,459 and they will never be able to climb out of bed, 36 00:01:32,493 --> 00:01:36,796 and they will finally fall asleep when you want them to. 37 00:01:36,829 --> 00:01:41,834 And as an added bonus, patent pending car simulation. 38 00:01:48,242 --> 00:01:51,211 Obviously just a prototype, oh. 39 00:01:52,746 --> 00:01:54,847 A couple more tweaks, those things will sell like dog meat 40 00:01:54,881 --> 00:01:56,216 at a Chinese wet market. 41 00:01:57,384 --> 00:01:58,519 I'm having an affair. 42 00:02:03,890 --> 00:02:06,293 You're what? 43 00:02:07,361 --> 00:02:09,530 I'm seeing another girl. 44 00:02:09,563 --> 00:02:12,499 Just like in like a movie, real world adult shit man. 45 00:02:12,533 --> 00:02:13,734 I'm cheating on my wife. 46 00:02:15,168 --> 00:02:17,036 A little bam bam in the ham. 47 00:02:17,070 --> 00:02:18,639 Bone storming the castle. 48 00:02:18,672 --> 00:02:21,208 Going to pound town with another bunny. 49 00:02:22,543 --> 00:02:23,876 Pickle tickle by another chicken. 50 00:02:23,910 --> 00:02:27,180 Okay, okay wait, going to pound town? 51 00:02:27,214 --> 00:02:29,182 This is the time to try out that phase? 52 00:02:33,152 --> 00:02:34,621 You're serious? 53 00:02:34,655 --> 00:02:36,889 Yeah, what do you think? 54 00:02:39,660 --> 00:02:43,096 I think you're a complete son of a. 55 00:03:27,608 --> 00:03:29,543 Oh no, it's just daddy. 56 00:03:42,623 --> 00:03:44,224 Ah, Saddam Hussein. 57 00:03:45,392 --> 00:03:46,794 - Hey babe. - Hey. 58 00:03:48,127 --> 00:03:49,128 How was the game? 59 00:03:50,597 --> 00:03:54,934 The game, the game was fantastic. 60 00:03:54,967 --> 00:03:56,637 I crushed it. 61 00:03:56,670 --> 00:03:58,305 You would have been so impressed. 62 00:04:00,072 --> 00:04:04,076 Matt however is the most disappointing human being 63 00:04:04,110 --> 00:04:06,747 I've ever met in my entire life. 64 00:04:06,780 --> 00:04:07,614 Why? 65 00:04:11,518 --> 00:04:13,253 You promise not to tell anyone? 66 00:04:14,187 --> 00:04:15,389 Sure. 67 00:04:15,422 --> 00:04:16,457 You promise not to tell anyone? 68 00:04:16,490 --> 00:04:17,891 - Sure. - Not even Jen. 69 00:04:20,861 --> 00:04:24,398 Matt is putting his banana into a different fruit salad. 70 00:04:24,431 --> 00:04:27,099 What, he's cheating on Maddie? 71 00:04:27,133 --> 00:04:28,936 - Yep. - Get out, does she know? 72 00:04:29,903 --> 00:04:32,239 - Nope. - What about the kids? 73 00:04:34,173 --> 00:04:36,042 I don't think they know either. 74 00:04:36,075 --> 00:04:39,646 Okay no, I mean like what is gonna happen to them? 75 00:04:39,680 --> 00:04:40,481 Those poor kids! 76 00:04:40,514 --> 00:04:43,015 This is all so crazy. 77 00:04:43,049 --> 00:04:45,084 I can't even process this. 78 00:04:45,117 --> 00:04:46,887 Yeah, I totally understand. 79 00:04:46,920 --> 00:04:49,823 This is like beyond insane. 80 00:04:49,857 --> 00:04:53,360 My best friend got a passport, packed his bags, 81 00:04:53,393 --> 00:04:57,264 purchased a ticket and flew straight to pound town. 82 00:04:57,297 --> 00:04:58,732 I'm sorry babe, it's rough. 83 00:05:00,267 --> 00:05:01,802 Can you turn on a show or something? 84 00:05:01,835 --> 00:05:03,437 I gotta get my mind off of this. 85 00:05:34,468 --> 00:05:38,005 Hey Chad, I'd like to buy this. 86 00:05:40,807 --> 00:05:42,276 Go ahead and scan it. 87 00:05:43,610 --> 00:05:45,177 Excuse me? 88 00:05:45,212 --> 00:05:47,381 Grab a scanner and scan. 89 00:05:49,148 --> 00:05:50,250 Isn't that your job? 90 00:05:59,293 --> 00:06:00,227 $2.32. 91 00:06:20,347 --> 00:06:21,848 Can I get a bag please? 92 00:06:24,451 --> 00:06:25,686 Sure. 93 00:06:33,327 --> 00:06:38,164 Wow, excellent customer service dude. 94 00:06:38,197 --> 00:06:41,068 Thanks for shopping at Big Jim's corner store! 95 00:06:48,442 --> 00:06:50,477 I've got some potentially upsetting news. 96 00:06:50,510 --> 00:06:51,845 Oh no, now what? 97 00:06:51,878 --> 00:06:53,447 Monthly promotion changed. 98 00:06:53,480 --> 00:06:55,181 Ugh, you gotta be kidding me. 99 00:06:55,215 --> 00:06:56,583 I know, again. 100 00:06:56,617 --> 00:06:57,918 They gotta stop doing this four days 101 00:06:57,951 --> 00:06:59,653 before the month starts. 102 00:06:59,686 --> 00:07:02,389 I'll send you the email, make the changes. 103 00:07:02,422 --> 00:07:03,457 Thanks Rene. 104 00:07:14,968 --> 00:07:17,037 Mary, did you get the info on the change for next month? 105 00:07:17,070 --> 00:07:18,672 - No. - If I send you some numbers, 106 00:07:18,705 --> 00:07:19,940 can you replace them for me? 107 00:07:19,973 --> 00:07:21,441 - Sure. - All right, thanks. 108 00:07:23,043 --> 00:07:24,878 Chandelle are those new website photos ready? 109 00:07:24,911 --> 00:07:29,449 - No, Ricky had those. - Thank you. 110 00:07:34,221 --> 00:07:35,589 Carol, have you seen Ricky? 111 00:07:36,556 --> 00:07:37,457 Okay, thank you. 112 00:07:39,359 --> 00:07:41,228 Hey, have you seen Ricky? 113 00:07:41,261 --> 00:07:43,363 Not since this morning. 114 00:07:45,699 --> 00:07:48,301 Hey man, have you seen Ricky? 115 00:07:54,775 --> 00:07:55,976 Ricky? 116 00:07:56,009 --> 00:07:57,911 Oh sorry Doug, just looking for Ricky. 117 00:07:57,944 --> 00:08:01,248 Ricky, oh hey you look good man. 118 00:08:02,549 --> 00:08:03,450 No chance, bro. 119 00:08:03,483 --> 00:08:04,484 No one can find him. 120 00:08:09,656 --> 00:08:12,359 Ricky, do you have the updated photos for the website? 121 00:08:12,392 --> 00:08:13,894 Which ones? 122 00:08:13,927 --> 00:08:15,829 The updated product shots for next month's promotion. 123 00:08:15,862 --> 00:08:17,597 - It changed? - Yeah. 124 00:08:17,631 --> 00:08:18,632 To what? 125 00:08:18,665 --> 00:08:20,233 Now if you buy a garden solar panel kit, 126 00:08:20,267 --> 00:08:21,435 you also get a garden toolkit. 127 00:08:21,468 --> 00:08:23,103 That's lame. 128 00:08:23,136 --> 00:08:24,604 It's actually a really nice kit. 129 00:08:24,638 --> 00:08:26,039 Still lame. 130 00:08:26,073 --> 00:08:28,675 It comes with the nice leather carrying bag and an apron. 131 00:08:29,976 --> 00:08:30,877 Chandelle should be on that. 132 00:08:30,911 --> 00:08:32,779 Chandelle, are you kidding me? 133 00:08:32,813 --> 00:08:33,880 Are you sure? 134 00:08:33,914 --> 00:08:34,948 Oh, come on! 135 00:08:34,981 --> 00:08:36,349 Dude, focus please Ricky. 136 00:08:36,383 --> 00:08:37,818 Are you sure? 137 00:08:37,851 --> 00:08:39,886 Yeah, yeah, yeah, Chandelle should be on that project. 138 00:08:42,756 --> 00:08:47,627 She's better. 139 00:08:49,129 --> 00:08:50,297 - Chandelle? - Yep. 140 00:08:50,330 --> 00:08:51,798 Ricky told me that you were working 141 00:08:51,832 --> 00:08:53,400 in the new garden tool kit photos for the website? 142 00:08:53,433 --> 00:08:55,802 - Yep. - Okay, but you told me 143 00:08:55,836 --> 00:08:57,871 that Ricky, never mind. 144 00:08:59,072 --> 00:09:00,774 Can you email them to me please? 145 00:09:00,807 --> 00:09:02,075 - Yep. - Thank you. 146 00:09:08,615 --> 00:09:10,584 Turns out we're going to the original plan 147 00:09:10,617 --> 00:09:12,018 for promotion this month. 148 00:09:13,019 --> 00:09:14,955 - Great. - No need to change. 149 00:09:33,306 --> 00:09:35,142 - Hey Tim. - What's up? 150 00:09:38,979 --> 00:09:42,216 You know, those are for everyone. 151 00:09:42,250 --> 00:09:44,951 I know, I'm just putting a stash of them at my desk. 152 00:09:46,553 --> 00:09:48,622 But what if we run out of them in here? 153 00:09:51,758 --> 00:09:54,427 Look, the fruit snacks always go first. 154 00:09:54,461 --> 00:09:55,629 That's why I take a huge stash 155 00:09:55,662 --> 00:09:57,464 and I just put them in my drawer. 156 00:09:57,497 --> 00:10:00,400 I mean, are we supposed to go to your desk to grab them? 157 00:10:01,434 --> 00:10:02,669 Either I can come up 158 00:10:02,702 --> 00:10:07,174 and grab one every day like a homeless person 159 00:10:07,208 --> 00:10:10,410 or I can just come grab them all at once every month. 160 00:10:10,443 --> 00:10:12,946 It's actually more time efficient bro. 161 00:10:12,979 --> 00:10:14,781 That's for you. 162 00:10:14,815 --> 00:10:16,016 I think we'd prefer for you 163 00:10:16,049 --> 00:10:17,551 to come in here though once a day. 164 00:10:20,221 --> 00:10:22,189 On the rare occasions where inefficiency is best, 165 00:10:22,223 --> 00:10:23,190 he left a mess. 166 00:10:43,443 --> 00:10:45,846 Oh no, no, just start please. 167 00:10:46,746 --> 00:10:48,148 Just start, it's your only job. 168 00:10:48,181 --> 00:10:51,818 Just start! 169 00:11:08,034 --> 00:11:10,170 No Connor, 170 00:11:10,204 --> 00:11:11,339 why would you show me that? 171 00:11:11,371 --> 00:11:13,773 - That's disgusting. - It's fricking awesome. 172 00:11:13,807 --> 00:11:14,708 Here, look at this one. 173 00:11:14,741 --> 00:11:16,344 No, no I'm good. 174 00:11:16,376 --> 00:11:17,577 And you're terrible. 175 00:11:17,611 --> 00:11:18,745 You're a terrible, horrible person. 176 00:11:18,778 --> 00:11:20,013 Wait, what's going on down there. 177 00:11:20,046 --> 00:11:21,215 Connor's showing me pictures of his poop. 178 00:11:21,249 --> 00:11:23,317 What, it's human art form. 179 00:11:23,351 --> 00:11:25,118 I mean, look at this log. 180 00:11:25,151 --> 00:11:26,287 I did this this morning. 181 00:11:26,320 --> 00:11:27,821 It came straight down, 182 00:11:27,854 --> 00:11:30,324 landed perfectly vertical in the toilet bowl. 183 00:11:30,358 --> 00:11:31,925 I'm surprised it didn't fall over. 184 00:11:31,958 --> 00:11:33,193 I mean, look at this? 185 00:11:33,227 --> 00:11:35,695 - No. - Okay, okay, let me see it. 186 00:11:35,729 --> 00:11:36,863 Look at that. 187 00:11:36,897 --> 00:11:38,732 That is awesome. 188 00:11:38,765 --> 00:11:40,234 Okay all right, let me see. 189 00:11:41,134 --> 00:11:43,837 Oh, oh my gosh no. 190 00:11:43,870 --> 00:11:45,071 Okay, take this. 191 00:11:46,106 --> 00:11:47,341 You know what, full disclosure 192 00:11:47,375 --> 00:11:48,775 and I'm no expert on this Connor, 193 00:11:48,808 --> 00:11:51,379 but I'm fairly certain COVID-19 originated with you. 194 00:11:51,411 --> 00:11:53,613 It's just poop, everybody poops. 195 00:11:53,647 --> 00:11:55,982 It's a book, a New York Times bestseller. 196 00:11:56,016 --> 00:11:58,652 I mean, why do we have to be so weird about poop? 197 00:11:58,685 --> 00:12:00,787 Hell, you know who poops? 198 00:12:00,820 --> 00:12:01,588 The Pope. 199 00:12:03,790 --> 00:12:04,891 The Pope poops. Also true. 200 00:12:04,925 --> 00:12:06,159 Adam, Adam, save us please. 201 00:12:06,192 --> 00:12:07,661 All right, all right, all right guys listen up. 202 00:12:07,694 --> 00:12:10,163 Poll question, so I'm at the office, right? 203 00:12:10,196 --> 00:12:11,564 And I'm in the community break room 204 00:12:11,598 --> 00:12:13,633 and this stupid little hipster kid walks in 205 00:12:13,667 --> 00:12:15,502 and steals all the fruit snacks 206 00:12:15,535 --> 00:12:17,470 and stashes them at his desk. 207 00:12:17,504 --> 00:12:19,273 He does that so that he doesn't have to keep getting up 208 00:12:19,307 --> 00:12:20,540 to get more. 209 00:12:20,573 --> 00:12:22,410 Now I say one fruit snack for one trip. 210 00:12:22,442 --> 00:12:23,244 What say you? 211 00:12:23,277 --> 00:12:24,077 Wait, who was it? 212 00:12:24,110 --> 00:12:25,545 Tim, the Copywriter. 213 00:12:25,578 --> 00:12:26,846 Oh yeah, that guy's a total douche. 214 00:12:26,880 --> 00:12:28,448 - Douche. - No, it's fine by me. 215 00:12:28,481 --> 00:12:30,116 I mean, whatever makes your life easier. 216 00:12:30,150 --> 00:12:31,751 Connor, your whole life is the easier. 217 00:12:31,785 --> 00:12:33,254 What about the rest of the employees? 218 00:12:33,287 --> 00:12:34,621 Survival by the fittest? 219 00:12:34,654 --> 00:12:36,022 - Survival of the fittest? - Yes, survival 220 00:12:36,056 --> 00:12:36,856 - of the fittest. - Connor, 221 00:12:36,890 --> 00:12:37,991 they're for everyone. 222 00:12:38,024 --> 00:12:39,192 It's not the fricking hunger games. 223 00:12:58,878 --> 00:13:01,481 Ugh yeah, I can't even rationalize that line of thinking. 224 00:13:01,514 --> 00:13:02,983 It bothers me so much 225 00:13:03,016 --> 00:13:04,617 that there's all these dumb millennial kids just doing 226 00:13:04,651 --> 00:13:06,086 whatever they want. 227 00:13:06,119 --> 00:13:09,055 Whoa Adam, you know you're millennial, right? 228 00:13:09,089 --> 00:13:10,257 - Yeah. - What? 229 00:13:10,291 --> 00:13:12,792 No, I'm not. 230 00:13:12,826 --> 00:13:14,928 - Yeah, you are. - You guys? 231 00:13:14,961 --> 00:13:16,263 What year were you born? 232 00:13:16,297 --> 00:13:18,064 - '86. - Yup. 233 00:13:18,098 --> 00:13:22,203 - Ooh, millennial. - Millennial. 234 00:13:22,236 --> 00:13:23,437 No, no, no, no, no. 235 00:13:23,471 --> 00:13:25,272 Let's see that. From 1982 to 2004. 236 00:13:25,306 --> 00:13:26,806 - Yep, that's you. - What, no! 237 00:13:26,840 --> 00:13:28,309 - Totally. - You guys, 238 00:13:28,342 --> 00:13:30,076 I always thought millennial were like way younger than me. 239 00:13:30,110 --> 00:13:32,746 I'm not terribly old, but I always put myself 240 00:13:32,779 --> 00:13:33,747 in the Gen X tribe. 241 00:13:33,780 --> 00:13:35,615 No way, Gen X is the lame. 242 00:13:35,648 --> 00:13:37,485 But that's how I lived my whole life. 243 00:13:37,517 --> 00:13:38,785 I always worked really hard 244 00:13:38,818 --> 00:13:40,587 and always tried to do the right thing. 245 00:13:40,620 --> 00:13:42,122 I hate millennial mentality. 246 00:13:43,656 --> 00:13:45,992 Could you try the organic lotion on my feet? 247 00:13:46,026 --> 00:13:48,528 I just love the way it makes my toes feel. 248 00:13:48,561 --> 00:13:49,596 Do you hear that? 249 00:13:49,629 --> 00:13:50,797 Yeah, he's always millennial. 250 00:13:50,830 --> 00:13:52,299 Hey, make sure you get your cuticles this time. 251 00:13:52,333 --> 00:13:53,367 We saw your feet last week, 252 00:13:53,401 --> 00:13:55,436 - oh my gosh. - Okay, stop. 253 00:14:25,098 --> 00:14:27,468 Hey, I wanna buy this drink and you're gonna sell it to me. 254 00:14:27,501 --> 00:14:28,668 So get off your damn phone 255 00:14:28,701 --> 00:14:30,570 and scan it and then put it in a bag. 256 00:14:39,913 --> 00:14:43,417 Now ask me if I want the receipt in the bag, ask me. 257 00:14:43,451 --> 00:14:45,618 Would you like your receipt in your bag? 258 00:14:45,652 --> 00:14:46,920 No, no I wouldn't. 259 00:14:56,497 --> 00:14:58,765 Actually, I don't know what kind of credit card information 260 00:14:58,798 --> 00:15:00,334 is left on there. 261 00:15:00,367 --> 00:15:01,668 Oh, just the last four digits, 262 00:15:01,701 --> 00:15:03,169 but still I don't wanna give you 263 00:15:03,204 --> 00:15:05,939 or anyone else the satisfaction knowing the last four digits 264 00:15:05,972 --> 00:15:07,475 of my credit card dipshit. 265 00:15:10,143 --> 00:15:13,581 Thanks for shopping at Big Jim's corner store. 266 00:15:16,383 --> 00:15:18,084 - Hey babe - Hey. 267 00:15:20,186 --> 00:15:21,688 What's wrong? 268 00:15:21,721 --> 00:15:23,457 I'm a fricking millennial that's what. 269 00:15:23,491 --> 00:15:25,559 - What? - A millennial. 270 00:15:25,593 --> 00:15:29,028 A selfish, lazy penis ball cancer on society. 271 00:15:29,062 --> 00:15:30,598 I'm sorry to hear that. 272 00:15:31,499 --> 00:15:33,032 Okay, you don't care. 273 00:15:33,066 --> 00:15:34,602 Go ahead and make fun of me. 274 00:15:34,634 --> 00:15:35,603 No, no, no, no, 275 00:15:35,635 --> 00:15:36,736 I'm not making fun of you. 276 00:15:36,769 --> 00:15:38,606 And newsflash, you're one of them too. 277 00:15:38,638 --> 00:15:41,609 So what's the big deal with being a millennial? 278 00:15:41,641 --> 00:15:42,876 I hate them. 279 00:15:42,909 --> 00:15:44,677 I don't even want to identify with them. 280 00:15:44,711 --> 00:15:47,013 The millennial mentality is the complete opposite 281 00:15:47,046 --> 00:15:48,549 of all of my core beliefs. 282 00:15:48,582 --> 00:15:50,884 I know, one might say that they are the inferior race. 283 00:15:50,917 --> 00:15:52,419 - Exactly. - I know. 284 00:15:54,087 --> 00:15:57,023 Okay, you're definitely making fun of me. 285 00:15:57,056 --> 00:15:59,993 Okay yeah, that time I was, but I wasn't the first time. 286 00:16:01,161 --> 00:16:03,129 I can't even get the support of my own wife. 287 00:16:03,163 --> 00:16:06,233 Okay, I don't get it, just because you are a millennial, 288 00:16:06,267 --> 00:16:08,369 it doesn't mean you have to be one of them. 289 00:16:08,402 --> 00:16:09,603 Well, that's just it. 290 00:16:09,637 --> 00:16:11,137 I realized I hate millennials so much 291 00:16:11,171 --> 00:16:12,872 because I'm jealous of them. 292 00:16:12,906 --> 00:16:14,642 Everything they do is the exact opposite 293 00:16:14,674 --> 00:16:16,210 of how I live my life. 294 00:16:16,243 --> 00:16:18,778 I'm uptight, stressed out, a little dramatic. 295 00:16:18,811 --> 00:16:20,013 A little? 296 00:16:20,046 --> 00:16:21,915 The point is I do everything by the book 297 00:16:21,948 --> 00:16:24,251 and I look at these piss hand kids and I'm envious 298 00:16:24,285 --> 00:16:25,685 of how nonchalant they are, 299 00:16:25,718 --> 00:16:27,053 how they can do whatever the hell they want 300 00:16:27,086 --> 00:16:28,489 without any consequences. 301 00:16:28,522 --> 00:16:30,723 Okay, well I'm sure there are some consequences. 302 00:16:30,757 --> 00:16:31,824 I can't stop thinking about this. 303 00:16:31,858 --> 00:16:33,026 Thinking about what? 304 00:16:33,059 --> 00:16:35,061 About embracing millennialism. 305 00:16:35,094 --> 00:16:37,531 Okay, well I think you should just go to bed 306 00:16:37,565 --> 00:16:39,333 and you'll stop thinking about it. 307 00:16:39,366 --> 00:16:40,733 I'm pretty sure this is just like another one 308 00:16:40,767 --> 00:16:42,436 of your things. 309 00:16:42,469 --> 00:16:44,505 I'm gonna start living among my people. 310 00:16:45,905 --> 00:16:49,510 I'm going to become a millennial. 311 00:16:49,543 --> 00:16:51,512 Meaning what exactly? 312 00:16:51,545 --> 00:16:53,746 I'm gonna start being more selfish. 313 00:16:53,780 --> 00:16:55,482 If I want a piece of cake for breakfast, 314 00:16:55,516 --> 00:16:58,352 I'm gonna eat a flipping piece of cake for breakfast. 315 00:16:58,385 --> 00:17:00,820 No more being Mr. Responsible. 316 00:17:00,853 --> 00:17:02,523 So you're just going to start doing whatever you want? 317 00:17:02,556 --> 00:17:03,923 - Whatever. - Absolutely whatever? 318 00:17:03,957 --> 00:17:08,094 Completely whatever, 100% whatever I want. 319 00:17:08,127 --> 00:17:10,397 So is this like the one time you went vegan? 320 00:17:11,864 --> 00:17:14,834 Do you guys have anything vegan that comes on a bone? 321 00:17:16,035 --> 00:17:19,440 All right, does this little game 322 00:17:19,473 --> 00:17:21,575 include other women? 323 00:17:21,609 --> 00:17:23,843 Oh no, this is no game. 324 00:17:23,876 --> 00:17:25,044 All right, I know, 325 00:17:25,078 --> 00:17:26,547 but you're just like way too sweet. 326 00:17:26,580 --> 00:17:28,748 You can't even come up with your top five celebrity list. 327 00:17:28,781 --> 00:17:30,517 Okay well, that is way too much pressure. 328 00:17:30,551 --> 00:17:31,751 Only five women? 329 00:17:31,784 --> 00:17:33,220 My goodness, too many parameters go 330 00:17:33,254 --> 00:17:34,655 into that decision for me. 331 00:17:34,688 --> 00:17:35,989 I mean, who is on your top five? 332 00:17:36,022 --> 00:17:38,191 Will Smith, Channing Tatum, Zac Efron, 333 00:17:38,225 --> 00:17:41,328 Dwayne the Rock Johnson and Gal Gadot. 334 00:17:41,362 --> 00:17:43,129 Okay well, that was a little bit delivered too quickly 335 00:17:43,162 --> 00:17:44,465 for my liking. 336 00:17:44,498 --> 00:17:46,533 I know, but if you come to bed, I will show you 337 00:17:46,567 --> 00:17:48,569 who my main man is. 338 00:17:48,602 --> 00:17:50,671 I can't, I feel like my heart's beating out of my chest. 339 00:17:50,704 --> 00:17:53,072 Is the millennial you just like that excited? 340 00:17:53,106 --> 00:17:54,742 Nope, I had my first energy drink. 341 00:17:54,774 --> 00:17:56,175 I think it's working a little bit too good. 342 00:17:56,210 --> 00:17:57,211 A little too well. 343 00:17:59,979 --> 00:18:02,915 - Hey man. - Hey, what's up? 344 00:18:02,949 --> 00:18:03,783 Oh, nothing. 345 00:18:05,219 --> 00:18:06,420 Are you going to work? 346 00:18:06,453 --> 00:18:08,455 Yeah, I just wanted to talk about something 347 00:18:08,489 --> 00:18:10,291 - with you real quick. - Okay. 348 00:18:12,125 --> 00:18:14,827 I just figured you'd be someone who would understand 349 00:18:14,861 --> 00:18:16,095 what I'm going through. 350 00:18:16,129 --> 00:18:17,431 - Eggs? - No, I'm good. 351 00:18:17,464 --> 00:18:19,899 So with your inside information, 352 00:18:19,932 --> 00:18:22,636 what is the next big social movement going to be? 353 00:18:22,670 --> 00:18:24,605 My inside information? 354 00:18:24,638 --> 00:18:26,674 Yeah, so I was late to the whole acceptance 355 00:18:26,707 --> 00:18:28,041 of the gay phase. 356 00:18:28,074 --> 00:18:29,108 Not a phase. 357 00:18:29,142 --> 00:18:30,711 What I mean is I was the borderline bigot 358 00:18:30,744 --> 00:18:32,111 to the gay community even though now I've come 359 00:18:32,145 --> 00:18:33,046 to accept their decision. 360 00:18:33,079 --> 00:18:34,281 Not a decision. 361 00:18:34,315 --> 00:18:35,649 Okay, I need you to stop taking offense 362 00:18:35,683 --> 00:18:36,517 to everything I'm saying. 363 00:18:36,550 --> 00:18:37,451 Stop being offensive. 364 00:18:37,484 --> 00:18:38,719 Okay, just listen all right? 365 00:18:38,752 --> 00:18:40,186 This isn't about your stuff. 366 00:18:40,220 --> 00:18:42,423 This is about my stuff so just shut up and deal with it. 367 00:18:42,456 --> 00:18:43,890 I'm not trying to offend you. 368 00:18:43,923 --> 00:18:45,392 Well, you are so. 369 00:18:45,426 --> 00:18:46,226 Oh well, I'm sorry. 370 00:18:46,260 --> 00:18:47,461 It's so hard 371 00:18:47,494 --> 00:18:49,195 for me considering I think all gays are going to hell. 372 00:18:49,229 --> 00:18:50,264 Nice, and more simply 373 00:18:50,297 --> 00:18:51,732 because you think penises are gross. 374 00:18:51,765 --> 00:18:53,199 Well, I'm even repulsed by my own. 375 00:18:53,233 --> 00:18:54,435 Love is love, man. 376 00:18:54,468 --> 00:18:56,236 Okay, and that's exactly why I'm here. 377 00:18:56,270 --> 00:18:58,104 Look, I don't care about the gays. 378 00:18:58,137 --> 00:19:00,407 Screw them, I missed that social fight. 379 00:19:00,441 --> 00:19:04,177 Ah, straight White male life, so simple. 380 00:19:04,211 --> 00:19:06,313 Okay, I can fight for my straight White male rights 381 00:19:06,347 --> 00:19:07,781 if I had to. 382 00:19:07,815 --> 00:19:08,716 Could you though? 383 00:19:08,749 --> 00:19:09,916 Thank you all for coming. 384 00:19:09,949 --> 00:19:12,219 - Yeah, USA, USA - USA, USA. 385 00:19:12,252 --> 00:19:14,288 Go away, go away. 386 00:19:16,155 --> 00:19:17,123 This was a mistake. 387 00:19:18,225 --> 00:19:21,261 Guys put the signs down, put the sign down. 388 00:19:22,862 --> 00:19:24,331 Okay, shut up. 389 00:19:24,365 --> 00:19:26,533 Look, what is the next big social movement going to be? 390 00:19:28,202 --> 00:19:29,303 What do you mean you don't know? 391 00:19:29,336 --> 00:19:30,671 Teddy, come on. 392 00:19:30,704 --> 00:19:32,406 I need to be on the front lines of accepting it. 393 00:19:32,439 --> 00:19:35,074 Adam, it's not like the gays 394 00:19:35,108 --> 00:19:36,876 or the minorities get together 395 00:19:36,909 --> 00:19:40,481 and have secret meetings about how to overtake society. 396 00:19:40,514 --> 00:19:43,182 Bestiality it's bestiality isn't it? 397 00:19:43,217 --> 00:19:44,752 I'll do love is love. 398 00:19:44,785 --> 00:19:46,320 Oh come on, man. 399 00:19:46,353 --> 00:19:47,321 I'm on your team. 400 00:19:47,354 --> 00:19:48,822 I don't want you on my team, 401 00:19:48,856 --> 00:19:50,657 but also I don't know what the next big social movement is. 402 00:19:50,691 --> 00:19:53,893 I think everyone should love who they wanna love 403 00:19:53,926 --> 00:19:56,195 and be comfortable and accepted 404 00:19:56,230 --> 00:19:57,531 for who they are, that's it. 405 00:19:57,564 --> 00:19:58,632 That is so generic. 406 00:19:58,665 --> 00:20:00,199 I got a question geez. 407 00:20:01,268 --> 00:20:02,703 Sorry to interrupt your love. 408 00:20:04,937 --> 00:20:07,374 If God doesn't accept homosexuality, right? 409 00:20:07,408 --> 00:20:11,110 Sorry Teddy, and he does not accept bestiality, right? 410 00:20:11,144 --> 00:20:14,080 Is it more worse or more punishable 411 00:20:14,113 --> 00:20:17,718 if like a human dude got it on with an animal dude? 412 00:20:17,751 --> 00:20:19,720 Or is it like two different things, 413 00:20:19,753 --> 00:20:22,423 or is it because there's two negatives it makes a positive? 414 00:20:22,456 --> 00:20:23,457 Does it even matter? 415 00:20:24,625 --> 00:20:26,593 Connor, you are completely naked 416 00:20:26,627 --> 00:20:28,662 in front of your gay roommate. 417 00:20:28,695 --> 00:20:30,531 Relax, I mean it's not 418 00:20:30,564 --> 00:20:32,633 like Teddys' gonna rape me or anything. 419 00:20:32,666 --> 00:20:35,602 Still Jezebel, you're just throwing temptation out there. 420 00:20:35,636 --> 00:20:36,670 Oh, hold on. 421 00:20:36,703 --> 00:20:38,639 That is closer to bestiality. 422 00:20:38,672 --> 00:20:43,644 - Wow, hey! - Oh, come back here Rona. 423 00:20:44,611 --> 00:20:46,078 Oh come on, don't be so sad. 424 00:20:46,112 --> 00:20:47,414 We're just playing. 425 00:20:47,448 --> 00:20:49,182 I love you Connor. 426 00:20:49,216 --> 00:20:50,751 Anyway, what is this, what's happening? 427 00:20:50,784 --> 00:20:53,487 Oh, well I have decided to come out 428 00:20:53,520 --> 00:20:55,322 of my proverbial closet if you will 429 00:20:55,355 --> 00:20:58,459 and embrace my millennialistic ways. 430 00:20:58,492 --> 00:20:59,992 What does that even mean? 431 00:21:00,026 --> 00:21:01,595 I'm glad you asked. 432 00:21:01,628 --> 00:21:03,664 Ah, I wondered what that was for. 433 00:21:04,798 --> 00:21:07,301 Okay, let's see here. 434 00:21:08,435 --> 00:21:11,137 Millennial, a person reaching young adulthood 435 00:21:11,170 --> 00:21:14,775 in the early 21st century who grew up on computer technology 436 00:21:14,808 --> 00:21:18,712 and is often referred to as the me, me, me generation. 437 00:21:18,745 --> 00:21:19,947 Okay? 438 00:21:19,979 --> 00:21:23,851 So I am going to become a millennial. 439 00:21:23,884 --> 00:21:26,653 Okay, just so I have this straight. 440 00:21:26,687 --> 00:21:28,689 You coming out as a millennial 441 00:21:28,722 --> 00:21:31,325 is the same as me coming out as gay. 442 00:21:31,358 --> 00:21:33,327 See, I knew you'd get it. 443 00:21:34,495 --> 00:21:37,564 - You're so brave. - Thank you. 444 00:21:37,598 --> 00:21:39,098 Wait a minute, wait a minute. 445 00:21:39,131 --> 00:21:41,668 Millennial wouldn't even be in this dictionary. 446 00:21:44,003 --> 00:21:48,976 Oh okay, I think you might be more millennial 447 00:21:50,109 --> 00:21:51,712 than you give yourself credit for. 448 00:21:51,745 --> 00:21:53,012 What? 449 00:21:53,045 --> 00:21:54,882 I wanted it to have a more dramatic effect. 450 00:21:54,915 --> 00:21:56,283 No, this is nice. 451 00:21:56,316 --> 00:21:57,317 I like this. 452 00:21:57,351 --> 00:21:58,585 Good job, I approve. 453 00:21:58,619 --> 00:21:59,553 Thank you. 454 00:21:59,586 --> 00:22:00,954 How long did that take you? 455 00:22:00,988 --> 00:22:01,755 Way too long. 456 00:22:13,333 --> 00:22:16,703 - Hello there, Father. - Hello brother. 457 00:22:16,737 --> 00:22:18,472 What can I help you with? 458 00:22:18,505 --> 00:22:21,742 Oh father, I am here to prepent. 459 00:22:21,775 --> 00:22:22,743 You're here to what? 460 00:22:22,776 --> 00:22:23,977 - Prepent - Prepent? 461 00:22:24,011 --> 00:22:25,979 Prepent, I would like to confess 462 00:22:26,013 --> 00:22:27,381 of sins I'm going to commit. 463 00:22:27,414 --> 00:22:28,849 It's not exactly how it works. 464 00:22:28,882 --> 00:22:31,018 Well, I figured I can come in here and take care of all 465 00:22:31,050 --> 00:22:32,619 of the guilt and the feeling bad 466 00:22:32,653 --> 00:22:34,521 and the confession stuff now so I can go out 467 00:22:34,555 --> 00:22:36,690 and enjoy the sin with a clear conscience. 468 00:22:37,958 --> 00:22:39,860 We are here to avoid sin. 469 00:22:39,893 --> 00:22:41,895 - Right. - And to try our best 470 00:22:41,929 --> 00:22:43,797 - to be like Jesus. - Right, I get that. 471 00:22:43,830 --> 00:22:45,265 But you're wanting to go sin? 472 00:22:45,299 --> 00:22:46,800 - Correct. - And confess those sins 473 00:22:46,833 --> 00:22:48,302 before we actually commit those sins. 474 00:22:48,335 --> 00:22:49,469 Correct, you get it. 475 00:22:49,503 --> 00:22:51,103 This isn't in God's teachings. 476 00:22:51,137 --> 00:22:53,473 - Agreed. - So why would you want 477 00:22:53,507 --> 00:22:54,741 to go sin? 478 00:22:54,775 --> 00:22:56,175 Well, I figured we're all imperfect, right? 479 00:22:56,209 --> 00:22:57,744 - Right. - And we all sin, correct? 480 00:22:57,778 --> 00:22:59,078 - Correct. - So why not confess 481 00:22:59,111 --> 00:23:01,147 of the sin now so we can enjoy them later? 482 00:23:01,180 --> 00:23:03,250 Because then those things would be even worse. 483 00:23:03,283 --> 00:23:04,484 Why? 484 00:23:04,518 --> 00:23:05,919 Because they'd be premeditated sins. 485 00:23:05,953 --> 00:23:07,521 Well, that's why I wanna confess of them now. 486 00:23:07,554 --> 00:23:09,256 Prepentance isn't a thing. 487 00:23:09,289 --> 00:23:10,424 I beg to differ. 488 00:23:10,457 --> 00:23:11,858 I'm literally doing it right now. 489 00:23:11,892 --> 00:23:14,328 Sort of a confession before the crime. 490 00:23:14,361 --> 00:23:15,562 What's the difference? 491 00:23:15,596 --> 00:23:17,331 What kinds of sins are we talking about here? 492 00:23:17,364 --> 00:23:18,966 Oh, I don't know exactly. 493 00:23:18,999 --> 00:23:20,434 Then how are we supposed to prepent 494 00:23:20,467 --> 00:23:21,935 if you don't know what your sins are? 495 00:23:21,969 --> 00:23:23,403 So prepentance is a thing? 496 00:23:23,437 --> 00:23:25,005 I'm just trying to understand. 497 00:23:25,038 --> 00:23:26,340 What propellant is. 498 00:23:26,373 --> 00:23:28,275 No, I fully get the concept. 499 00:23:28,308 --> 00:23:30,877 I want to understand what sins you're wanting to do. 500 00:23:30,911 --> 00:23:32,111 Well, here's the thing. 501 00:23:32,144 --> 00:23:33,680 I have been a pretty straight shooter. 502 00:23:33,714 --> 00:23:36,249 I'm talking grade A heavy material. 503 00:23:36,283 --> 00:23:37,484 That's a good thing. 504 00:23:37,517 --> 00:23:39,886 But I'm going through this like life crisis. 505 00:23:39,920 --> 00:23:41,855 And I just wanna let loose, Carpe diem, 506 00:23:41,888 --> 00:23:45,392 sow my wild oats, rub my nose into some fruit salad 507 00:23:45,425 --> 00:23:46,226 if you will. 508 00:23:46,259 --> 00:23:47,461 But you don't know 509 00:23:47,494 --> 00:23:49,096 what commandments you would want to break? 510 00:23:50,564 --> 00:23:51,832 No, no, no, not really. 511 00:23:51,865 --> 00:23:53,433 I mean, I'm open to some suggestions. 512 00:23:53,467 --> 00:23:54,935 I just know I wanna become a millennial 513 00:23:54,968 --> 00:23:56,503 and basically be more selfish 514 00:23:56,536 --> 00:23:59,673 and do whatever the hell I want, oh excuse me father. 515 00:23:59,706 --> 00:24:02,075 My worry is that you will stumble into sin 516 00:24:02,109 --> 00:24:04,678 and then not be able to get yourself back out of it. 517 00:24:04,711 --> 00:24:08,315 Right, right, that's definitely a possibility. 518 00:24:08,348 --> 00:24:09,449 What about your family? 519 00:24:09,483 --> 00:24:10,651 Oh, they're on board. 520 00:24:12,184 --> 00:24:14,388 I guess that settles it. 521 00:24:14,421 --> 00:24:15,722 So I have your blessing then? 522 00:24:15,756 --> 00:24:17,124 - No. - You vocally said no there 523 00:24:17,156 --> 00:24:20,093 but I feel like your heart said yes. 524 00:24:20,127 --> 00:24:21,795 - No - I love you Father. 525 00:24:32,973 --> 00:24:34,041 What's going on here? 526 00:24:35,242 --> 00:24:37,611 They're seeing who can hold their pee the most. 527 00:24:37,644 --> 00:24:39,780 Okay you guys, I came here to reveal my big plan 528 00:24:39,813 --> 00:24:42,449 and how I'm gonna start living my life as a millennial. 529 00:24:42,482 --> 00:24:44,351 My third life crisis if you will. 530 00:24:44,384 --> 00:24:47,054 That makes it sound like it's your third life crisis. 531 00:24:47,087 --> 00:24:49,856 I think you've had one, two, three life crisises. 532 00:24:49,890 --> 00:24:51,558 Good point, not like it's a third point 533 00:24:51,591 --> 00:24:53,360 in your life crisis? 534 00:24:53,393 --> 00:24:54,861 Mid-life crisis works. 535 00:24:54,895 --> 00:24:56,897 If we used half-life crisis, it would just cause confusion. 536 00:24:56,930 --> 00:24:59,066 Okay, but like a third of my life, what would I call that? 537 00:24:59,099 --> 00:25:00,567 I think that's why a third life crisis 538 00:25:00,600 --> 00:25:01,601 isn't a thing bud. 539 00:25:02,536 --> 00:25:04,237 Why are you doing so much better than he is? 540 00:25:04,271 --> 00:25:06,673 Oh, I didn't even come close to drinking my gallon of water. 541 00:25:06,707 --> 00:25:10,944 You beautiful bastard, you son of a, move, move. 542 00:25:12,345 --> 00:25:14,581 First order of business, get some new friends. 543 00:25:14,614 --> 00:25:15,849 Whatever. 544 00:25:15,882 --> 00:25:17,184 I don't mean I'm gonna replace you. 545 00:25:17,217 --> 00:25:18,418 I just need additional friends. 546 00:25:18,452 --> 00:25:20,854 I just need a splash of class in my life. 547 00:25:20,887 --> 00:25:23,857 Where do I find sophisticated people like the ones 548 00:25:23,890 --> 00:25:28,228 that go to museums or talk politics or whatnot? 549 00:25:28,261 --> 00:25:29,996 How about at a museum? 550 00:25:30,030 --> 00:25:32,999 Okay, but I don't want to actually go to a museum. 551 00:25:33,033 --> 00:25:34,234 Okay, so what is that? 552 00:25:36,002 --> 00:25:37,003 I didn't make it. 553 00:25:39,706 --> 00:25:41,875 Connor, go take a shower. 554 00:25:41,908 --> 00:25:43,310 Why do I even have to tell you? 555 00:25:43,343 --> 00:25:44,611 That should be your next step. 556 00:25:44,644 --> 00:25:47,514 - Sorry, jeez. - Awesome. 557 00:25:47,547 --> 00:25:49,217 It's not like I drank a gallon of water. 558 00:25:49,249 --> 00:25:50,717 All right you guys, come on. 559 00:25:50,751 --> 00:25:54,588 It's time for me to reveal my plan "Home Alone" style. 560 00:25:54,621 --> 00:25:56,089 I don't understand that reference. 561 00:25:56,123 --> 00:25:57,691 You know, when little Kevin makes the blueprints 562 00:25:57,724 --> 00:25:58,959 for when the robbers are coming? 563 00:25:58,992 --> 00:26:00,327 That's a pretty obscure reference.. 564 00:26:00,360 --> 00:26:01,561 Dude come on, just go with it. 565 00:26:01,595 --> 00:26:02,763 You're ruining my big reveal here. 566 00:26:02,796 --> 00:26:05,098 I mean, if you were just gone aah! 567 00:26:05,132 --> 00:26:06,800 Then I'd be right there with you. 568 00:26:06,833 --> 00:26:08,001 That has nothing to do with this. 569 00:26:08,034 --> 00:26:09,237 Well then, use a reference that works. 570 00:26:09,269 --> 00:26:10,971 I'm sorry, it's just the best Christmas movie 571 00:26:11,004 --> 00:26:12,572 of all time I would have expected you 572 00:26:12,606 --> 00:26:14,040 - to get it. - Whoa, whoa, whoa, 573 00:26:14,074 --> 00:26:16,309 "Home Alone" is not even the best "Home Alone" movie 574 00:26:16,343 --> 00:26:18,712 of all time, let alone the best Christmas movie. 575 00:26:18,745 --> 00:26:20,947 Are you suggesting that when little Kevin is lost 576 00:26:20,981 --> 00:26:22,983 in New York City that that's a superior film? 577 00:26:23,016 --> 00:26:25,285 - Yeah. - Cheap for a sequel rip off 578 00:26:25,318 --> 00:26:28,321 as if Mr. And Mrs. McCallister would lose their son again. 579 00:26:28,355 --> 00:26:30,891 Not to mention the title has nothing to do with the plot. 580 00:26:30,924 --> 00:26:32,392 He's not even home alone again. 581 00:26:32,425 --> 00:26:34,228 Whatever, it's still not the best Christmas movie 582 00:26:34,262 --> 00:26:35,061 of all time. 583 00:26:35,095 --> 00:26:36,396 Oh yeah, what is? 584 00:26:36,429 --> 00:26:37,664 "Love Actually". 585 00:26:37,697 --> 00:26:40,467 Yeah, I mean maybe. 586 00:26:40,500 --> 00:26:42,002 I'm sure all your gay friends say that. 587 00:26:42,035 --> 00:26:43,770 Lift yourself higher Adam. 588 00:26:43,804 --> 00:26:48,276 Okay, so basically I made a detailed list 589 00:26:48,308 --> 00:26:51,645 of all the things that I could find that millennials do. 590 00:26:53,046 --> 00:26:55,015 A simple Excel spreadsheet would have sufficed. 591 00:26:55,048 --> 00:26:57,684 Yeah, but not nearly as cool or dramatic. 592 00:26:57,717 --> 00:26:59,986 I expected you to be the one to understand this. 593 00:27:00,020 --> 00:27:03,023 Oh my God, another gay stereotype. 594 00:27:03,056 --> 00:27:05,192 That is so sweet. 595 00:27:05,226 --> 00:27:06,693 Dude, you should dust off some 596 00:27:06,726 --> 00:27:09,396 of your famous high school journalism with this. 597 00:27:09,429 --> 00:27:11,331 Are you concerned with a modern day cast being 598 00:27:11,364 --> 00:27:13,301 in a Shakespeare period piece?. 599 00:27:13,333 --> 00:27:14,167 Nope. 600 00:27:16,837 --> 00:27:19,273 Drama in the drama club. 601 00:27:19,307 --> 00:27:22,310 Rumor has it that chip prices will increase next week. 602 00:27:22,342 --> 00:27:24,278 Can you confirm? 603 00:27:24,312 --> 00:27:25,545 I don't know. 604 00:27:25,579 --> 00:27:28,949 Inflation attacks high school ta ta tan! 605 00:27:31,651 --> 00:27:34,588 Whatever the high school equivalent of a Pulitzer prize is, 606 00:27:34,621 --> 00:27:36,122 I would have it. 607 00:27:36,156 --> 00:27:38,091 Whatever Adam, this is just another one of your charades. 608 00:27:38,124 --> 00:27:39,426 You'll be done with this soon enough. 609 00:27:39,459 --> 00:27:40,994 Not this time my gay friend. 610 00:27:42,462 --> 00:27:43,297 Props to you. 611 00:27:44,764 --> 00:27:46,399 The next time you both see me, 612 00:27:46,433 --> 00:27:49,002 I will be a full blown millennial. 613 00:27:52,206 --> 00:27:54,608 Bye! 614 00:27:54,641 --> 00:27:57,777 Anyways, I think if the entire world converted to bamboo 615 00:27:57,811 --> 00:27:59,713 instead of use plastic, 616 00:27:59,746 --> 00:28:01,915 you could end all the atrocities of war. 617 00:28:11,758 --> 00:28:13,294 Oh, look at this grandpa. 618 00:28:18,832 --> 00:28:20,467 Yeah, nice head dick wad. 619 00:28:54,067 --> 00:28:55,568 One, two, three. 620 00:28:57,305 --> 00:28:58,471 - Roar! - Roar! 621 00:28:59,739 --> 00:29:00,874 What is this? 622 00:29:14,921 --> 00:29:16,589 You got the claws. 623 00:29:19,492 --> 00:29:20,760 - Oh no! - Truman! 624 00:29:20,794 --> 00:29:22,729 The master's waking up! 625 00:29:24,798 --> 00:29:25,865 Set and fire! 626 00:29:28,468 --> 00:29:30,404 - Are you sick? - Nope. 627 00:29:30,438 --> 00:29:32,505 Aren't you gonna be late for work? 628 00:29:32,539 --> 00:29:33,473 What work? 629 00:29:34,308 --> 00:29:35,409 Hardy, ha ha. 630 00:29:35,443 --> 00:29:37,143 No seriously, I quit. 631 00:29:38,078 --> 00:29:39,380 You're joking? 632 00:29:39,413 --> 00:29:40,580 No seriously, I quit. 633 00:29:42,048 --> 00:29:43,984 Hey kids, why don't you go downstairs and watch a show? 634 00:29:44,017 --> 00:29:46,052 - No, we wanna play. - No, we wanna play. 635 00:29:46,086 --> 00:29:47,787 Oh, if you go downstairs and watch your show, 636 00:29:47,821 --> 00:29:49,089 I'll make you pancakes. 637 00:29:49,122 --> 00:29:50,324 - Pancakes! - Pancakes! 638 00:29:53,760 --> 00:29:54,594 You quit? 639 00:29:56,062 --> 00:29:56,963 I'm pretty sure. 640 00:29:58,698 --> 00:30:00,267 Well, did you or didn't you? 641 00:30:28,895 --> 00:30:30,196 It's not funny. 642 00:30:30,231 --> 00:30:32,532 Well, it's not, not funny. 643 00:30:33,900 --> 00:30:35,902 Why did you do that? 644 00:30:35,935 --> 00:30:37,371 Well, it was a diss kind of cake 645 00:30:37,405 --> 00:30:39,172 and they said they would put whatever I wanted on the cake. 646 00:30:39,206 --> 00:30:41,141 Okay no, why did you quit? 647 00:30:41,174 --> 00:30:44,478 Well, I was doing a job that I hated for so long. 648 00:30:44,512 --> 00:30:47,248 It was time for me to be happy. 649 00:30:49,383 --> 00:30:50,850 I don't think that was really fair 650 00:30:50,884 --> 00:30:53,220 that you didn't even talk to me about it first. 651 00:30:53,254 --> 00:30:54,854 Well trust me, this is just one little step 652 00:30:54,888 --> 00:30:55,855 of my millennial journey. 653 00:30:55,889 --> 00:30:57,224 Okay well, I hope that works out. 654 00:30:57,258 --> 00:31:00,528 Hey, I got you. 655 00:31:00,560 --> 00:31:02,062 Yeah well, curiosity killed the cat you know? 656 00:31:02,095 --> 00:31:03,596 So I have nine lives to do my thing. 657 00:31:03,630 --> 00:31:04,831 That is not what that means. 658 00:31:04,864 --> 00:31:06,099 It means that the cat was so curious, 659 00:31:06,132 --> 00:31:06,966 it ended up killing itself. 660 00:31:07,000 --> 00:31:08,235 Why not curiosity killed the dog. 661 00:31:08,269 --> 00:31:09,803 I mean, I guess cats are more curious than dogs. 662 00:31:09,836 --> 00:31:11,571 I don't know, I find dogs quite curious. 663 00:31:11,604 --> 00:31:13,106 Okay, that's not what it means. 664 00:31:13,139 --> 00:31:14,275 And I didn't come up with the saying so you can stop 665 00:31:14,308 --> 00:31:15,809 - being an ass hat. - Stupid saying really. 666 00:31:15,842 --> 00:31:17,010 What are we gonna do 667 00:31:17,043 --> 00:31:18,178 for money now that you don't have a job? 668 00:31:18,212 --> 00:31:19,413 Oh okay, I see how it is. 669 00:31:19,447 --> 00:31:20,713 You're just using me for my paycheck? 670 00:31:20,747 --> 00:31:22,516 Yeah, 'cause this girl has got to eat. 671 00:31:22,550 --> 00:31:24,017 Okay, we're gonna be fine. 672 00:31:24,050 --> 00:31:26,653 I have enough PTO cash that will last a while, all right? 673 00:31:37,130 --> 00:31:39,500 - Hey there! - Hello, are you Sydney? 674 00:31:39,533 --> 00:31:41,935 That's me. 675 00:31:41,968 --> 00:31:44,205 I'm Adam, I'm here to interview 676 00:31:44,238 --> 00:31:46,039 for the barrister position. 677 00:31:46,072 --> 00:31:47,241 - Oh yeah? - Yeah. 678 00:31:48,509 --> 00:31:52,078 - Corporate guy aren't you? - Was. 679 00:31:52,112 --> 00:31:52,912 Why'd you quit? 680 00:31:55,648 --> 00:31:57,150 No more Mr. Ratchett. 681 00:31:57,183 --> 00:32:00,720 Keep playing. 682 00:32:02,088 --> 00:32:04,592 I'm just looking for something new and exciting. 683 00:32:08,462 --> 00:32:11,332 - Huh? - Huh, what? 684 00:32:12,500 --> 00:32:14,634 Don't know if you'd be a fit here. 685 00:32:14,667 --> 00:32:15,902 Why is that? 686 00:32:15,935 --> 00:32:18,805 Am I not young or cool or hip enough for you? 687 00:32:18,838 --> 00:32:22,041 I mean, I think it's unfair to judge me so quickly. 688 00:32:22,075 --> 00:32:24,211 Just don't know if you can hack this job. 689 00:32:24,245 --> 00:32:25,812 I've worked a much more difficult job 690 00:32:25,845 --> 00:32:27,214 for the past 10 years. 691 00:32:27,248 --> 00:32:30,217 I think I can handle pouring coffee. 692 00:32:30,251 --> 00:32:33,119 This job is crazy and fast paced 693 00:32:33,153 --> 00:32:36,189 and it doesn't pay that well so. 694 00:32:36,223 --> 00:32:38,359 I'm game, I want this job. 695 00:32:43,663 --> 00:32:46,600 Excuse me, eyes up here please. 696 00:32:49,236 --> 00:32:53,641 Okay, okay, we'll give you a shot. 697 00:32:53,673 --> 00:32:56,142 Great, when do I start? 698 00:32:57,744 --> 00:32:58,546 Right now. 699 00:33:03,617 --> 00:33:05,718 - No, stop, no! - What, do I push this button? 700 00:33:05,752 --> 00:33:07,787 No, I told you it was the other one. 701 00:33:07,820 --> 00:33:09,055 I'm sorry, it's my first time. 702 00:33:09,088 --> 00:33:10,957 No, stop spraying everywhere. 703 00:33:10,990 --> 00:33:13,826 - Whoa! - Adam, I was talking 704 00:33:13,860 --> 00:33:15,429 about the espresso. 705 00:33:15,462 --> 00:33:16,763 Oh, sure you were. 706 00:33:17,631 --> 00:33:19,633 Jeff, here you go. 707 00:33:19,667 --> 00:33:21,535 Have a good day Jeff. 708 00:33:21,569 --> 00:33:23,337 Did you just see my customer service? 709 00:33:23,370 --> 00:33:25,071 I did and it was impressive. 710 00:33:25,104 --> 00:33:26,806 You hired the right guy. 711 00:33:26,839 --> 00:33:27,675 I guess I did. 712 00:33:30,544 --> 00:33:31,378 Who's this? 713 00:33:31,412 --> 00:33:33,947 Oh Todd, this is Adam. 714 00:33:33,980 --> 00:33:35,181 He just started today. 715 00:33:35,216 --> 00:33:39,953 - Hey man. - You needed another person? 716 00:33:41,589 --> 00:33:44,625 - Yeah. - I see. 717 00:33:47,160 --> 00:33:50,598 - He's a bit dramatic. - I'll say. 718 00:34:18,791 --> 00:34:20,026 What is this? 719 00:34:20,059 --> 00:34:22,161 The kids are at my mom's 720 00:34:22,195 --> 00:34:25,031 and we are gonna have a millennial day out. 721 00:34:26,400 --> 00:34:27,234 Oh? 722 00:34:28,435 --> 00:34:30,003 I'm trying to do this with you. 723 00:34:31,472 --> 00:34:32,573 I don't deserve you. 724 00:34:40,681 --> 00:34:42,549 Oh wait, are you kidding me? 725 00:34:42,583 --> 00:34:44,117 - This place? - Oh come on, 726 00:34:44,150 --> 00:34:46,220 this is like the most millennial place in town. 727 00:34:46,253 --> 00:34:49,188 It's hip, modern and everything is vegan. 728 00:34:50,089 --> 00:34:52,158 Yeah, I don't wanna do this. 729 00:34:52,191 --> 00:34:54,528 Oh come on, millennial up Adam, let's go. 730 00:34:55,696 --> 00:34:58,031 Oh, Lord help me. 731 00:34:58,064 --> 00:35:00,734 - Oh my God. - Come on. 732 00:35:10,143 --> 00:35:10,977 Hello? 733 00:35:13,414 --> 00:35:15,316 Oh, what do you want? 734 00:35:17,584 --> 00:35:21,020 Can I get a raspberry iced tea? 735 00:35:21,054 --> 00:35:23,390 I'll just have a decaf coffee. 736 00:35:23,424 --> 00:35:26,025 Oh, 'cause you don't already have everything, mmh? 737 00:35:29,229 --> 00:35:30,397 $8.36. 738 00:35:37,638 --> 00:35:40,240 Oh, and can I get my receipt? 739 00:35:48,682 --> 00:35:51,719 Wow, service here is really great, huh? 740 00:35:52,753 --> 00:35:53,986 Hmm mmh. 741 00:35:54,020 --> 00:35:56,122 It's a pretty cool place though, yeah? 742 00:35:57,156 --> 00:35:57,990 Yeah. 743 00:36:00,026 --> 00:36:02,529 - Are you okay? - Hmm, what, yeah. 744 00:36:10,136 --> 00:36:10,970 Oops. 745 00:36:12,272 --> 00:36:14,040 Do you have a problem with us? 746 00:36:15,309 --> 00:36:17,411 Excuse me, I'd like to speak to your manager! 747 00:36:17,444 --> 00:36:18,445 What are you doing? 748 00:36:18,479 --> 00:36:19,747 I don't think he should treat us like that. 749 00:36:19,780 --> 00:36:20,980 It's fine, it's fine. 750 00:36:22,148 --> 00:36:23,817 Is everything alright over here? 751 00:36:24,951 --> 00:36:27,488 Oh okay, is he bothering you 752 00:36:27,521 --> 00:36:28,622 'cause I can kick him out? 753 00:36:29,922 --> 00:36:32,526 No, actually your employee over there 754 00:36:32,559 --> 00:36:34,294 has been extremely rude to us. 755 00:36:34,328 --> 00:36:37,431 Oh gosh, sometimes it feels like I'm running a daycare. 756 00:36:37,464 --> 00:36:39,867 I apologize for Todd there, he's. 757 00:36:39,899 --> 00:36:41,535 Anyways, I'm Sydney. 758 00:36:41,568 --> 00:36:45,372 Oh, Jennifer and this is Adam. 759 00:36:46,407 --> 00:36:47,641 But of course. 760 00:36:49,643 --> 00:36:51,311 Are you gonna shake her hand? 761 00:36:53,112 --> 00:36:57,183 Oh no, no, I think that would actually be rude 762 00:36:57,217 --> 00:37:00,554 to shake her hand, or your hand or like anyone else's hand 763 00:37:00,587 --> 00:37:04,591 'cause I'm actually still practicing social distancing so. 764 00:37:04,625 --> 00:37:05,826 I love this guy. 765 00:37:05,859 --> 00:37:07,895 Anyway, you two enjoy. 766 00:37:07,927 --> 00:37:09,863 Oh, I forgot something. 767 00:37:09,897 --> 00:37:11,565 Why are you being so weird? 768 00:37:11,598 --> 00:37:14,167 It's this place, it's not my vibe. 769 00:37:16,270 --> 00:37:18,639 You forgot this. 770 00:37:18,672 --> 00:37:22,342 Oh, look at that, a souvenir. 771 00:37:28,549 --> 00:37:32,419 Well, thank you so much for the coffee 772 00:37:32,453 --> 00:37:37,357 and the tea and the souvenir and the hand shakes 773 00:37:37,391 --> 00:37:40,594 and it's just great, great. 774 00:37:40,627 --> 00:37:44,030 We should probably be going you know? 775 00:37:44,063 --> 00:37:45,699 No, we just got here. 776 00:37:45,732 --> 00:37:47,033 Come on, let's just. 777 00:37:47,066 --> 00:37:49,436 Thank you, thank you. 778 00:37:49,470 --> 00:37:52,940 All right, I guess I'll see you tomorrow. 779 00:37:54,341 --> 00:37:57,211 Don't be so pretentious as if I'm coming back. 780 00:38:36,316 --> 00:38:38,585 - Hello. - Hi. 781 00:38:39,920 --> 00:38:41,288 Hello, how are you doing? 782 00:38:42,356 --> 00:38:43,189 Good. 783 00:38:50,764 --> 00:38:51,865 So what happens next? 784 00:38:53,934 --> 00:38:58,939 Right, ask if you can help the customer with anything. 785 00:39:03,109 --> 00:39:07,981 Well, I was looking at this car. 786 00:39:09,950 --> 00:39:11,652 Can you tell me anything about it? 787 00:39:21,995 --> 00:39:25,131 This is a blue car. 788 00:39:28,936 --> 00:39:32,039 Oh, interesting, interesting. 789 00:39:33,340 --> 00:39:34,274 So it runs well? 790 00:39:39,346 --> 00:39:41,415 It's a good model of car? 791 00:39:42,716 --> 00:39:43,684 Hmm hmm. 792 00:39:46,420 --> 00:39:47,955 All right, I'm gonna be straight with you, Paul. 793 00:39:47,988 --> 00:39:49,155 I don't know enough about cars 794 00:39:49,188 --> 00:39:50,390 or know what to even ask about them. 795 00:39:50,424 --> 00:39:53,260 So I'm just gonna say if it runs well 796 00:39:53,293 --> 00:39:57,464 and it looks pretty, that's good enough for me. 797 00:39:57,497 --> 00:39:59,299 - Yeah. - Yeah. 798 00:40:03,337 --> 00:40:07,307 So I think I'll take it. 799 00:40:07,341 --> 00:40:09,076 Okay, you have a good day, sir. 800 00:40:11,478 --> 00:40:14,414 Paul, Paul, get back here, buddy. 801 00:40:17,751 --> 00:40:21,321 I'm gonna need you to listen to my words. 802 00:40:21,355 --> 00:40:23,557 I want to buy this car. 803 00:40:30,129 --> 00:40:32,899 That's great, my first sale. 804 00:40:32,933 --> 00:40:35,302 Oh well, that's surprising. 805 00:40:36,637 --> 00:40:38,839 I'm glad this could be our first. 806 00:40:38,872 --> 00:40:40,207 It's more special that way. 807 00:40:41,675 --> 00:40:43,944 All right, I'm gonna make this a real quick and easy for you. 808 00:40:43,977 --> 00:40:46,246 I just have one simple request. 809 00:40:46,279 --> 00:40:48,849 You know those big bows that you put on cars? 810 00:40:50,017 --> 00:40:51,852 Is there any way I can get one of those? 811 00:41:00,894 --> 00:41:02,229 Just right on the top there. 812 00:41:03,664 --> 00:41:04,498 Maybe the front. 813 00:41:06,500 --> 00:41:08,802 We don't have those here. 814 00:41:10,737 --> 00:41:13,607 I think they only do those on TV commercials 815 00:41:13,640 --> 00:41:18,645 or on luxury cars, not on cars less than 10,000. 816 00:41:19,513 --> 00:41:23,216 Right, right, well Paul, 817 00:41:26,820 --> 00:41:28,522 I don't know what to tell you, man. 818 00:41:29,489 --> 00:41:30,657 I mean the car is great and all, 819 00:41:30,691 --> 00:41:34,227 but I really just want one of those bows. 820 00:41:37,431 --> 00:41:40,600 There's gotta be something that you can do for me. 821 00:41:46,807 --> 00:41:47,607 Come on Paul. 822 00:41:51,211 --> 00:41:55,215 Look out folks, just a sexy guy driving on through. 823 00:42:08,729 --> 00:42:09,930 I like your sunglasses daddy. 824 00:42:09,963 --> 00:42:11,331 Oh, thank you darling. 825 00:42:11,364 --> 00:42:13,233 Mom, can I wear my sunglasses? 826 00:42:13,266 --> 00:42:14,367 No sweetheart. 827 00:42:14,401 --> 00:42:15,902 But daddy is. 828 00:42:15,936 --> 00:42:18,371 That's because daddy's having a nervous breakdown. 829 00:42:18,405 --> 00:42:19,773 Oh, ha ha. 830 00:42:19,806 --> 00:42:21,007 What's a nervous breakdown? 831 00:42:21,041 --> 00:42:23,076 Don't worry about it, just eat. 832 00:42:23,110 --> 00:42:24,778 Truman, how in the world 833 00:42:24,811 --> 00:42:26,813 do you make such a big mess every time? 834 00:42:26,847 --> 00:42:27,681 - Come here. - Hey! 835 00:42:30,117 --> 00:42:31,685 - What? - That was mine! 836 00:42:31,718 --> 00:42:34,154 - Oh, I don't think so. - It was on my plate. 837 00:42:34,187 --> 00:42:35,956 - What was? - My roll. 838 00:42:35,989 --> 00:42:39,126 - What roll? - Hey, why did you do that? 839 00:42:39,159 --> 00:42:42,062 - I do what I want. - Don't worry Iris, 840 00:42:42,095 --> 00:42:43,497 I will get you another roll. 841 00:42:45,233 --> 00:42:46,767 But dad took mine. 842 00:42:46,800 --> 00:42:49,503 Because dad wanted that one. 843 00:42:49,536 --> 00:42:52,539 Don't worry, dad is gonna get in trouble for that one. 844 00:42:52,572 --> 00:42:54,274 - What? - Dad, don't have 845 00:42:54,307 --> 00:42:56,409 to be such a donkey dick. 846 00:42:56,443 --> 00:42:59,346 Whoa, who taught you that word? 847 00:42:59,379 --> 00:43:00,580 From you two. 848 00:43:00,614 --> 00:43:01,948 Okay, you can't say that word anymore. 849 00:43:01,982 --> 00:43:03,683 - Why not? - Because it's a really mean 850 00:43:03,717 --> 00:43:04,785 and bad word. 851 00:43:04,818 --> 00:43:06,453 Well then, don't take my roll. 852 00:43:07,988 --> 00:43:10,123 Fair enough, let's shake on it. 853 00:43:11,225 --> 00:43:13,059 Dad, do you wanna play with me? 854 00:43:13,093 --> 00:43:14,194 Not tonight, buddy. 855 00:43:14,228 --> 00:43:16,496 Tonight, I'm playing video games. 856 00:43:16,530 --> 00:43:17,430 Can I play? 857 00:43:17,464 --> 00:43:19,599 Nope, it's a grown up game. 858 00:43:19,633 --> 00:43:21,101 I can play a grown up game. 859 00:43:21,134 --> 00:43:23,904 No, no, no, this is just for me guys, maybe another time. 860 00:43:23,937 --> 00:43:25,372 - We want to play. - Uh uh. 861 00:43:25,405 --> 00:43:26,840 - We want to play. - You guys. 862 00:43:26,873 --> 00:43:28,675 - We want to play. - This is my night. 863 00:43:28,708 --> 00:43:31,444 - We want to play. - We want to play. 864 00:43:31,478 --> 00:43:32,379 - We want. - We want. 865 00:43:32,412 --> 00:43:33,647 Hi, what can I get ya? 866 00:43:33,680 --> 00:43:35,048 Hi, can I just get one double espresso. 867 00:43:35,081 --> 00:43:36,284 Sure thing. 868 00:43:36,316 --> 00:43:38,084 - Adam, one double espresso. - Yeah. 869 00:44:14,154 --> 00:44:15,989 Adam? 870 00:44:16,022 --> 00:44:17,691 Hello, Adam. 871 00:44:17,724 --> 00:44:20,727 Hello, are you there? 872 00:44:20,760 --> 00:44:22,829 - Hi! - Sydney, hey, 873 00:44:22,863 --> 00:44:26,199 what can I do for you? 874 00:44:26,234 --> 00:44:27,500 How did the morning go? 875 00:44:27,534 --> 00:44:29,237 Oh, it was good. 876 00:44:29,270 --> 00:44:30,770 A little crazy, but it was good. 877 00:44:30,804 --> 00:44:32,439 - Yeah? - Yeah. 878 00:44:32,472 --> 00:44:34,242 He messed up a lot. 879 00:44:34,275 --> 00:44:35,942 It's okay, he'll get it. 880 00:44:35,976 --> 00:44:37,644 I think we'll keep him. 881 00:44:38,778 --> 00:44:41,448 Oh boom, no soldier left behind. 882 00:44:47,255 --> 00:44:48,455 Are you okay? 883 00:44:48,488 --> 00:44:51,325 Yeah, I just didn't like that joke just now. 884 00:44:52,360 --> 00:44:54,561 Oh, sorry. 885 00:44:54,594 --> 00:44:56,096 No, it's not your fault. 886 00:44:56,129 --> 00:44:58,565 My dad was a soldier 887 00:44:58,598 --> 00:45:02,135 and he died overseas a few months ago so. 888 00:45:02,168 --> 00:45:03,103 Oh my gosh, 889 00:45:03,136 --> 00:45:06,106 I'm really sorry. 890 00:45:06,139 --> 00:45:07,540 I should not have said that. 891 00:45:08,508 --> 00:45:12,012 I got you so good. 892 00:45:12,045 --> 00:45:13,347 Wait, that was a joke? 893 00:45:13,381 --> 00:45:14,814 You're too easy, man. 894 00:45:14,848 --> 00:45:17,851 Dude, dead dad joke, not cool. 895 00:45:17,884 --> 00:45:20,553 But really, how did the morning rush go? 896 00:45:20,587 --> 00:45:23,257 Well you know, I did learn something pretty big today. 897 00:45:23,291 --> 00:45:24,991 - Yeah? - Yeah, you would be alarmed 898 00:45:25,025 --> 00:45:26,426 and I'm talking alarmed 899 00:45:26,459 --> 00:45:28,662 about how many guys use the restroom 900 00:45:28,695 --> 00:45:30,063 and don't wash their hands. 901 00:45:30,096 --> 00:45:31,498 No, no, no, no, 902 00:45:31,531 --> 00:45:32,666 you would be surprised 903 00:45:32,699 --> 00:45:34,734 at how many girls don't wash their hands. 904 00:45:34,768 --> 00:45:36,370 - Really? - Really. 905 00:45:36,404 --> 00:45:38,205 I mean, guys are generally so gross. 906 00:45:38,239 --> 00:45:39,706 I expect more from the girls. 907 00:45:39,739 --> 00:45:41,242 No. 908 00:45:41,275 --> 00:45:42,842 You know, the no washers are definitely disgusting, 909 00:45:42,876 --> 00:45:44,778 but I think I found something worse today. 910 00:45:44,811 --> 00:45:47,480 - What? - The over washer. 911 00:45:47,514 --> 00:45:49,182 So I went to the restroom, right? 912 00:45:49,216 --> 00:45:54,120 And there was a fellow employee who will remain unnamed 913 00:45:54,154 --> 00:45:55,555 and he was doing his pee pee time. 914 00:45:55,588 --> 00:45:57,258 And then he goes to wash his hands. 915 00:45:57,291 --> 00:45:59,893 I go do my pee pee time and then I go wash my hands. 916 00:45:59,926 --> 00:46:01,828 He's still there washing his hands mind you, 917 00:46:01,861 --> 00:46:03,496 which isn't really a big deal. 918 00:46:03,530 --> 00:46:05,899 I wash my hands for the normal amount of time 919 00:46:05,932 --> 00:46:06,733 for washing your hands. 920 00:46:06,766 --> 00:46:08,269 Which is? 921 00:46:08,302 --> 00:46:11,838 Which is singing happy birthday, generally that timeframe. 922 00:46:11,871 --> 00:46:13,407 Okay, go on. 923 00:46:13,441 --> 00:46:18,346 Anyway, so I finish up and Todd is still scrubbing away 924 00:46:18,379 --> 00:46:20,513 and I'm just like what happened over there? 925 00:46:20,547 --> 00:46:22,916 Like he was leaving a crime scene at the urinal? 926 00:46:22,949 --> 00:46:25,085 Yeah, like what did you touch in your nether regions 927 00:46:25,118 --> 00:46:27,821 to justify that much hand-washing? 928 00:46:27,854 --> 00:46:30,324 Stop being a bully. 929 00:46:30,358 --> 00:46:33,227 I will be doing orders in the back if you need me. 930 00:46:45,572 --> 00:46:47,274 All right kids, it's time to go. 931 00:46:51,644 --> 00:46:54,315 At least try to clean up around here or something? 932 00:46:55,349 --> 00:46:57,351 Love you guys, have fun today. 933 00:46:58,518 --> 00:47:00,920 I'm really not happy with the choices 934 00:47:00,954 --> 00:47:02,756 that you're making right now. 935 00:47:02,789 --> 00:47:04,325 Love you too hun. 936 00:47:04,358 --> 00:47:06,793 I wanna stay home with daddy and have fun. 937 00:47:06,826 --> 00:47:09,896 Oh, but then it wouldn't be fun anymore. 938 00:47:09,929 --> 00:47:10,930 All right kids, let's go. 939 00:47:10,964 --> 00:47:12,766 Let's go get in the car. 940 00:47:12,799 --> 00:47:13,700 Okay. 941 00:47:13,733 --> 00:47:14,934 Come on, time to get in the car. 942 00:47:14,968 --> 00:47:16,437 Time to go 943 00:47:16,470 --> 00:47:17,904 Let's go you stinker. 944 00:47:53,441 --> 00:47:55,443 Dude, I can't shake this girl. 945 00:47:55,476 --> 00:47:56,343 The manager girl? 946 00:47:56,377 --> 00:47:57,844 Yeah, it's weird. 947 00:47:57,877 --> 00:48:00,046 I've never had feelings for anyone other than Jen. 948 00:48:00,080 --> 00:48:01,915 And now I already feel like I'm cheating on her. 949 00:48:01,948 --> 00:48:03,716 Dude, it is no big deal. 950 00:48:03,750 --> 00:48:06,220 It's just like I can't stop thinking about her. 951 00:48:07,421 --> 00:48:09,423 I feel like I'm in high school again. 952 00:48:09,457 --> 00:48:11,157 Like that time you tried to kiss Becky 953 00:48:11,191 --> 00:48:13,026 while she was in the middle of taking a test? 954 00:48:13,059 --> 00:48:16,096 No, no, this is more like in between the time I tried to ask out that deaf girl 955 00:48:16,129 --> 00:48:18,798 and the time I got broken up with one of my girlfriends in the skating room. 956 00:48:18,832 --> 00:48:21,569 Yeah, you look really, really cute. 957 00:48:26,373 --> 00:48:28,242 To this day, I haven't been skating. 958 00:48:28,275 --> 00:48:30,211 You need to get laid. 959 00:48:30,244 --> 00:48:32,446 - Stop it. - No, you know what I mean. 960 00:48:32,480 --> 00:48:34,047 You're too wound up and you know it. 961 00:48:34,080 --> 00:48:36,015 Look, I actually feel really good. 962 00:48:36,049 --> 00:48:37,650 This whole doing whatever I want thing 963 00:48:37,684 --> 00:48:38,918 is really working for me. 964 00:48:38,952 --> 00:48:40,720 - Well, I have an idea. - What? 965 00:48:40,753 --> 00:48:43,923 - Let's set you up on Tinder. - Tinder? 966 00:48:43,957 --> 00:48:46,726 Oh no, I am not ready for that. 967 00:48:46,759 --> 00:48:48,895 Come on man, this is all part of your idea. 968 00:48:48,928 --> 00:48:50,797 You got to test the waters, experiment? 969 00:48:50,830 --> 00:48:51,898 - No, no. - Hand your phone. 970 00:48:51,931 --> 00:48:53,166 - Matt. - Hand me your phone. 971 00:48:53,199 --> 00:48:55,201 - Okay Matt, come on. - Hand me your phone. 972 00:48:55,236 --> 00:48:56,736 - Dude. - Hand me your phone. 973 00:49:00,541 --> 00:49:01,641 This is your burner phone, right? 974 00:49:01,674 --> 00:49:03,109 My burner phone? 975 00:49:03,143 --> 00:49:04,711 Yeah, you can't have two lives with one phone. 976 00:49:04,744 --> 00:49:06,514 I have to have two phones now? 977 00:49:06,547 --> 00:49:08,449 How else do you think we're gonna do this 978 00:49:08,482 --> 00:49:09,483 without you getting caught? 979 00:49:09,517 --> 00:49:10,884 I don't even wanna do this. 980 00:49:10,917 --> 00:49:12,152 Okay, you know what? 981 00:49:12,185 --> 00:49:13,920 Take yours, we'll set up your Tinder account 982 00:49:13,953 --> 00:49:15,188 on my primary phone 983 00:49:15,222 --> 00:49:16,756 and then there's no way Jen will catch you. 984 00:49:16,789 --> 00:49:19,326 Okay yeah, this logic is riddled with reason. 985 00:49:19,360 --> 00:49:21,761 Smile! 986 00:49:21,794 --> 00:49:24,731 All right, now what is something interesting about you? 987 00:49:27,033 --> 00:49:29,736 Hey Connor, what is something interesting about me? 988 00:49:31,938 --> 00:49:32,772 I don't know. 989 00:49:33,907 --> 00:49:36,843 Okay. 990 00:49:37,877 --> 00:49:40,481 Hello, oh hey. 991 00:49:41,814 --> 00:49:43,983 Wait, you have a violin recital already? 992 00:49:44,984 --> 00:49:47,288 Oh, are you excited? 993 00:49:48,522 --> 00:49:49,557 You are so awesome. 994 00:49:50,990 --> 00:49:53,760 No sorry, I can't make it. 995 00:49:53,793 --> 00:49:57,964 Yeah, daddy's got to work even at night pumpkin. 996 00:49:59,333 --> 00:50:01,067 All right, all right, you're gonna kill it though. 997 00:50:01,100 --> 00:50:02,001 You do good. 998 00:50:02,902 --> 00:50:05,406 Love you, bye bye. 999 00:50:07,807 --> 00:50:09,075 Lying to your kids now? 1000 00:50:10,477 --> 00:50:12,045 Okay, so what happens next? 1001 00:50:12,078 --> 00:50:13,581 What are you doing? 1002 00:50:13,614 --> 00:50:15,449 Scrolling through people's profiles and clicking like. 1003 00:50:15,482 --> 00:50:16,983 Wait, do they know you're doing that? 1004 00:50:17,016 --> 00:50:19,152 Yeah, it sends them notification. 1005 00:50:19,185 --> 00:50:20,654 Okay well, I wanna see. 1006 00:50:20,688 --> 00:50:22,755 Oh no, no, no, no, no, no, you are no good at this. 1007 00:50:22,789 --> 00:50:24,658 You can't even come up with the top five celebrity list. 1008 00:50:24,692 --> 00:50:26,527 Okay well, if I'm supposed to like these people, 1009 00:50:26,560 --> 00:50:28,262 I at least should pick them, yeah? 1010 00:50:29,729 --> 00:50:31,532 Okay, but I get to hold the phone. 1011 00:50:32,765 --> 00:50:37,770 Fine, okay no, no. 1012 00:50:38,838 --> 00:50:40,374 Her nose is too big. 1013 00:50:40,407 --> 00:50:43,677 - What? - No, no, no, pass that one. 1014 00:50:43,711 --> 00:50:46,879 Okay no, too much makeup, my goodness. 1015 00:50:46,913 --> 00:50:48,047 That's a low hairline. 1016 00:50:49,516 --> 00:50:51,418 Nope, oh no, nope. 1017 00:50:52,386 --> 00:50:53,420 No, swipe, no. 1018 00:50:54,688 --> 00:50:56,590 Oh, her eyebrows are so close together. 1019 00:50:56,624 --> 00:50:58,091 She's cute. 1020 00:50:58,124 --> 00:51:01,262 Quasimodo, pass, pass. 1021 00:51:01,295 --> 00:51:02,296 Oh, hello buck teeth. 1022 00:51:02,329 --> 00:51:03,530 Okay, come on man. 1023 00:51:03,564 --> 00:51:04,565 - What? - You're saying no 1024 00:51:04,598 --> 00:51:05,798 to every girl. 1025 00:51:05,832 --> 00:51:08,369 Well, yeah, 'cause they're not right. 1026 00:51:09,769 --> 00:51:11,672 How did you even get one girl to fall in love with you? 1027 00:51:11,705 --> 00:51:15,141 - What is that supposed to mean? - It means you're being too picky that's what it means. 1028 00:51:15,174 --> 00:51:16,410 It means that you don't even understand 1029 00:51:16,443 --> 00:51:17,645 what a beautiful girl looks like. 1030 00:51:17,678 --> 00:51:19,613 Look at this girl, she's gotta to be what, 1031 00:51:19,647 --> 00:51:20,780 an eight at least? 1032 00:51:20,813 --> 00:51:22,249 I don't like her haircut. 1033 00:51:22,283 --> 00:51:24,551 You're not gonna be bone storming her hair cut. 1034 00:51:24,585 --> 00:51:26,387 Well, if that's how she takes care of the upstairs, 1035 00:51:26,420 --> 00:51:28,021 who knows what the downstairs looks like? 1036 00:51:28,054 --> 00:51:29,556 Sometimes that's a good thing. 1037 00:51:29,590 --> 00:51:32,158 It's good to explore some creative downstairs. 1038 00:51:32,191 --> 00:51:33,694 No, no, no, no, no, no. 1039 00:51:33,727 --> 00:51:35,194 You know what, 1040 00:51:35,229 --> 00:51:36,563 you couldn't have gotten a match with her anyways. 1041 00:51:36,597 --> 00:51:40,933 Oh okay, okay yeah, go ahead and like that one. 1042 00:51:40,967 --> 00:51:42,436 I'll show you. 1043 00:51:42,469 --> 00:51:46,806 Like it, or swipe, or push the yes I want this button. 1044 00:51:47,974 --> 00:51:51,578 - Just tell her yes, come on. - Liked. 1045 00:51:53,681 --> 00:51:57,150 Goodness, so what happens next? 1046 00:51:58,619 --> 00:52:00,654 Well next, you wait to see if you're lucky enough 1047 00:52:00,688 --> 00:52:03,424 for her to give you a like and then you have a match. 1048 00:52:03,457 --> 00:52:04,824 Don't worry about it. 1049 00:52:04,857 --> 00:52:07,093 I'll start some conversations, get you a date or two. 1050 00:52:08,295 --> 00:52:09,929 This actually could be a lot of fun. 1051 00:52:09,962 --> 00:52:11,632 Well, I'm glad that my love life just brings you 1052 00:52:11,665 --> 00:52:13,400 so much entertainment. 1053 00:52:13,434 --> 00:52:14,735 It really does. 1054 00:52:14,768 --> 00:52:16,270 It's kind of like a video game or something. 1055 00:52:16,303 --> 00:52:17,604 All right, I gotta go. 1056 00:52:18,806 --> 00:52:20,574 Oh hey, I should head out with you. 1057 00:52:20,607 --> 00:52:22,842 I got a third date with this chick tonight. 1058 00:52:22,875 --> 00:52:24,611 I'm hoping tonight's gonna be the night, 1059 00:52:24,645 --> 00:52:26,413 a little bone storming. 1060 00:52:26,447 --> 00:52:29,216 Dude, how do you keep lying to your wife and getting away with it? 1061 00:52:29,249 --> 00:52:30,718 I don't know. 1062 00:52:38,592 --> 00:52:41,127 Betty White. 1063 00:52:53,273 --> 00:52:54,708 Hello, beautiful. 1064 00:53:00,247 --> 00:53:01,013 I love it. 1065 00:53:03,717 --> 00:53:04,685 She'll like it. 1066 00:53:18,164 --> 00:53:19,899 I think you've arrived. 1067 00:53:21,235 --> 00:53:22,436 What are you talking about? 1068 00:53:22,469 --> 00:53:24,137 You're a full on millennial, bro. 1069 00:53:25,171 --> 00:53:26,273 You think so? 1070 00:53:26,306 --> 00:53:28,174 Only one thing left to do. 1071 00:53:28,208 --> 00:53:29,343 What? 1072 00:53:29,376 --> 00:53:31,345 You gotta give Sydney the old naked hug. 1073 00:53:32,780 --> 00:53:34,615 Dude no, I can't. 1074 00:53:34,648 --> 00:53:36,949 Come on, years from now, 1075 00:53:36,983 --> 00:53:39,653 you don't wanna tell your kids you went part millennial. 1076 00:53:39,686 --> 00:53:41,789 You wanna go full millennial. 1077 00:53:41,822 --> 00:53:45,426 Carpe diem, just do it, the time is now baby! 1078 00:53:45,459 --> 00:53:47,761 Yeah, rousing speech Shakespeare. 1079 00:53:47,795 --> 00:53:49,897 Okay, then just go on a date with her. 1080 00:53:49,929 --> 00:53:52,800 No, I'll still feel like a majorly cheating on Jen. 1081 00:53:52,833 --> 00:53:54,835 Think about it this way, 1082 00:53:54,868 --> 00:53:56,904 it's not like you're taking another job. 1083 00:53:56,936 --> 00:53:58,839 It's just like you're going on an interview. 1084 00:54:02,676 --> 00:54:03,510 So you'll do it? 1085 00:54:04,912 --> 00:54:06,680 - Okay, perfect. - Wait dude, 1086 00:54:06,713 --> 00:54:08,282 what are you doing? 1087 00:54:09,316 --> 00:54:11,919 - Hey Mikayla, right? - Sydney. 1088 00:54:11,951 --> 00:54:12,853 Oh, that's what I meant. 1089 00:54:12,886 --> 00:54:14,120 Yeah look, my name's Matt. 1090 00:54:14,153 --> 00:54:15,722 I think you know my friend Adam, right? 1091 00:54:15,756 --> 00:54:16,757 I think so. 1092 00:54:16,790 --> 00:54:17,990 Okay look, I'm trying 1093 00:54:18,024 --> 00:54:19,192 to set up this little double date thing 1094 00:54:19,226 --> 00:54:20,461 I'm not that good at planning though. 1095 00:54:20,494 --> 00:54:21,662 I'm wondering if you wanted to come over 1096 00:54:21,695 --> 00:54:23,129 and maybe we could figure something out? 1097 00:54:23,162 --> 00:54:24,298 I guess I could. 1098 00:54:24,331 --> 00:54:25,332 Cool, come on over. 1099 00:54:25,365 --> 00:54:26,800 - I'll follow your lead. - Okay. 1100 00:54:30,771 --> 00:54:33,172 So, double date huh? 1101 00:54:35,809 --> 00:54:37,711 Is your wing man gonna be doing all the talking 1102 00:54:37,744 --> 00:54:38,846 for you as well? 1103 00:54:38,879 --> 00:54:40,347 Whoa, I'm not actually gonna be going, 1104 00:54:40,380 --> 00:54:42,683 our buddy Connor is gonna go with your friend. 1105 00:54:44,150 --> 00:54:48,020 Well, tell your friend that I will see him there at seven. 1106 00:54:48,054 --> 00:54:50,257 Oh and maybe make him some flash cards 1107 00:54:50,290 --> 00:54:52,693 so he has something to say. 1108 00:54:52,726 --> 00:54:53,894 Right, right, right. 1109 00:54:53,927 --> 00:54:55,229 Dude, you got a date with your crush, 1110 00:54:55,262 --> 00:54:56,396 but you can't screw this one up 1111 00:54:56,430 --> 00:54:57,898 'cause it's work romance too 1112 00:54:57,931 --> 00:54:59,800 and that could look bad for everyone. 1113 00:54:59,833 --> 00:55:02,034 - Dude, why aren't you gonna be there? - All part of the plan my man. 1114 00:55:02,068 --> 00:55:03,537 See with Connor there, 1115 00:55:03,570 --> 00:55:05,973 you are gonna look like a knight in shining armor. 1116 00:55:06,005 --> 00:55:10,644 Odd dates, why, why, why! 1117 00:55:19,185 --> 00:55:21,989 Is that gonna be me if the date doesn't go well? 1118 00:55:22,021 --> 00:55:23,790 I think your break's about done. 1119 00:55:23,824 --> 00:55:24,925 Yeah, yeah. 1120 00:55:34,868 --> 00:55:35,969 Where are you going? 1121 00:55:36,937 --> 00:55:38,739 Out with the guys. 1122 00:55:38,772 --> 00:55:41,708 Well, since you seem to be making all the decisions 1123 00:55:41,742 --> 00:55:43,544 for us, do you wanna tell me 1124 00:55:43,577 --> 00:55:45,379 how we're gonna pay for these bills? 1125 00:55:47,381 --> 00:55:49,449 I don't know, take it out of our savings. 1126 00:55:49,483 --> 00:55:50,384 What savings? 1127 00:55:52,386 --> 00:55:54,288 Let's pay with a credit card. 1128 00:55:54,321 --> 00:55:57,056 Okay, I consider myself to be a pretty chill wife 1129 00:55:57,089 --> 00:55:58,825 and I hate how I'm turning into a nag. 1130 00:55:58,859 --> 00:55:59,993 Well then, don't nag. 1131 00:56:01,929 --> 00:56:03,397 I feel like I have to. 1132 00:56:03,430 --> 00:56:05,966 We have a responsibility to provide for our children, 1133 00:56:05,999 --> 00:56:07,568 something which you seem to have forgotten about. 1134 00:56:07,601 --> 00:56:09,670 You know what, I got another job 1135 00:56:09,703 --> 00:56:11,204 so we should be able to make it work. 1136 00:56:11,238 --> 00:56:13,206 Right, minimum wage plus tips. 1137 00:56:13,240 --> 00:56:14,708 Yeah, doesn't quite cut it. 1138 00:56:14,741 --> 00:56:17,311 I am sorry I finally found something that I enjoy doing. 1139 00:56:17,344 --> 00:56:20,047 All right, well this little experiment 1140 00:56:20,079 --> 00:56:21,515 is putting a strain on things. 1141 00:56:21,548 --> 00:56:24,051 Nope, and this is no longer an experiment dear. 1142 00:56:24,083 --> 00:56:25,986 I actually enjoy being a millennial. 1143 00:56:26,019 --> 00:56:28,755 Yeah, you like it because you get to do whatever the hell you want. 1144 00:56:28,789 --> 00:56:29,923 And what's wrong with that? 1145 00:56:29,957 --> 00:56:31,858 You made a decision to have a family 1146 00:56:31,892 --> 00:56:34,093 and I hate to break it to you, but you don't get to do 1147 00:56:34,126 --> 00:56:36,162 what you want all the time for forever. 1148 00:56:36,195 --> 00:56:37,664 Sure I can. 1149 00:56:37,698 --> 00:56:39,566 I married you because you had your head on straight. 1150 00:56:39,600 --> 00:56:43,503 You were patient and you were mature and loving and selfless 1151 00:56:43,537 --> 00:56:46,105 which are tremendous attributes for a father and a husband. 1152 00:56:46,138 --> 00:56:47,574 And this whole new outlook 1153 00:56:47,608 --> 00:56:49,476 that you have can only go so far before you have 1154 00:56:49,509 --> 00:56:50,711 to make a big decision. 1155 00:56:50,744 --> 00:56:51,979 Oh, what's that? 1156 00:56:52,012 --> 00:56:53,413 If you wanna keep your family or not. 1157 00:57:09,496 --> 00:57:10,330 Oh yeah. 1158 00:57:12,833 --> 00:57:14,034 Dude, you're disgusting. 1159 00:57:14,067 --> 00:57:16,536 What, I gotta eat or else I'm gonna get sick. 1160 00:57:16,570 --> 00:57:18,872 And if I get sick, none of us are gonna have a good time. 1161 00:57:18,905 --> 00:57:20,240 I already feel sick. 1162 00:57:20,273 --> 00:57:22,109 No, you're just nervous and it's okay. 1163 00:57:22,141 --> 00:57:24,211 I mean, I was nervous the first time too when you know. 1164 00:57:24,244 --> 00:57:25,712 Dude, I'm not nervous sick, 1165 00:57:25,746 --> 00:57:27,146 I actually just don't feel good. 1166 00:57:27,179 --> 00:57:29,383 And you realize this isn't my first time right? 1167 00:57:29,416 --> 00:57:31,418 I've been married for 10 years and I have two kids. 1168 00:57:31,451 --> 00:57:33,787 You don't have to throw your accomplishments in my face. 1169 00:57:33,820 --> 00:57:35,522 - Why did you wear that stupid shirt? - It's not a stupid shirt. 1170 00:57:35,555 --> 00:57:37,324 You're a stupid shirt. 1171 00:57:37,357 --> 00:57:38,258 You want some? 1172 00:57:38,291 --> 00:57:39,993 No, we're about to eat dinner. 1173 00:57:45,365 --> 00:57:47,934 - Hello ladies. - Hello. 1174 00:57:47,968 --> 00:57:49,069 This is Keira. 1175 00:57:49,102 --> 00:57:50,404 - Hi. - Hi Keira 1176 00:57:50,437 --> 00:57:53,240 This is Connor. 1177 00:57:53,273 --> 00:57:55,142 Okay, I guess we'll sit down. 1178 00:57:57,611 --> 00:58:01,415 So, can we get you ladies anything to drink? 1179 00:58:01,448 --> 00:58:03,417 Sure, that'd be nice. 1180 00:58:03,450 --> 00:58:05,952 Neither of you are like wishy-washy fems, right? 1181 00:58:09,256 --> 00:58:10,624 You know, like there's hardcore feminists 1182 00:58:10,657 --> 00:58:11,858 that are all about equal rights, 1183 00:58:11,892 --> 00:58:13,192 but then there's the wishy-washy ones. 1184 00:58:13,226 --> 00:58:14,728 What's the difference? 1185 00:58:14,761 --> 00:58:17,030 Okay well, the wishy-washys are fighting for equal rights 1186 00:58:17,064 --> 00:58:19,366 but they also expect traditional chivalry on dates. 1187 00:58:19,399 --> 00:58:21,868 You know, like opening doors and paying for the meals or something like that. 1188 00:58:21,902 --> 00:58:23,370 I'm just like, you're trying to have the best 1189 00:58:23,403 --> 00:58:25,939 of both worlds and you can't have it both ways. 1190 00:58:25,972 --> 00:58:27,708 We're fine paying for our half. 1191 00:58:27,741 --> 00:58:28,909 Oh good, thanks. 1192 00:58:30,010 --> 00:58:32,713 No, I was actually just kidding. 1193 00:58:33,947 --> 00:58:36,049 Just making a stupid observation. 1194 00:58:36,083 --> 00:58:37,150 He does that a lot. 1195 00:58:37,984 --> 00:58:39,419 I can't help it. 1196 00:58:39,453 --> 00:58:40,787 There's just a lot of stupid things to observe. 1197 00:58:43,090 --> 00:58:45,726 Well, what about me? 1198 00:58:46,727 --> 00:58:48,295 Is anything stupid about me? 1199 00:58:50,664 --> 00:58:53,500 Nope, no, there's nothing stupid about you. 1200 00:58:53,533 --> 00:58:58,138 You're just beautiful, and smart, and funny and good. 1201 00:59:00,974 --> 00:59:02,342 So what about you Connor? 1202 00:59:04,811 --> 00:59:06,379 What do you wanna know? 1203 00:59:06,413 --> 00:59:08,982 I'm just trying to get to know you a little bit. 1204 00:59:09,015 --> 00:59:11,852 Well, what would you like to know? 1205 00:59:12,919 --> 00:59:15,188 - What do you do for work? - Fine, go ahead and ask that. 1206 00:59:15,223 --> 00:59:16,723 Excuse me? 1207 00:59:16,757 --> 00:59:20,360 Jeez, what's with all the vague what you do questions? 1208 00:59:20,393 --> 00:59:21,762 Get to the point Karen. 1209 00:59:21,795 --> 00:59:23,130 Oh my God. 1210 00:59:23,163 --> 00:59:24,364 Keira, he is a joke. 1211 00:59:24,397 --> 00:59:26,099 We're just gonna head to the little boy's room 1212 00:59:26,133 --> 00:59:27,467 and freshen up okay? 1213 00:59:27,501 --> 00:59:28,468 That's disgusting, we don't need 1214 00:59:28,502 --> 00:59:29,870 to know about your details. 1215 00:59:29,903 --> 00:59:31,071 I'm talking about me and you buddy. 1216 00:59:31,104 --> 00:59:32,005 Oh no, I'm good. 1217 00:59:32,038 --> 00:59:33,440 Okay, we'll be right back. 1218 00:59:37,043 --> 00:59:38,645 Dude, what the hell are you doing out there? 1219 00:59:38,678 --> 00:59:41,515 Relax, it's a part of my strategy. 1220 00:59:41,548 --> 00:59:43,583 Your strategy is to berate them. 1221 00:59:43,617 --> 00:59:45,452 No, no, no, no, no, I'm not gonna rape her. 1222 00:59:45,485 --> 00:59:47,521 Oh my God, no berate, berate. 1223 00:59:47,554 --> 00:59:49,322 Look, I act like I don't care, 1224 00:59:49,356 --> 00:59:50,991 like I'm not interested in her 1225 00:59:51,024 --> 00:59:53,227 and it makes her want me even more. 1226 00:59:53,261 --> 00:59:55,729 So the more act like I don't want her, 1227 00:59:55,762 --> 00:59:57,197 then she's gonna love it. 1228 00:59:57,231 --> 00:59:59,933 I'm like, I don't want her, but then she wants this. 1229 00:59:59,966 --> 01:00:02,969 Dude, you're taking it too far all right> 1230 01:00:03,003 --> 01:00:04,604 - Okay, fine. - Tone it down. 1231 01:00:06,072 --> 01:00:08,708 Oh my God, I think I gotta shit. 1232 01:00:08,742 --> 01:00:10,410 My goodness, my stomach hurts so bad. 1233 01:00:10,443 --> 01:00:12,045 See, you should've ate before we came. 1234 01:00:12,078 --> 01:00:15,582 Shut the hell, get out there and make nice, all right? 1235 01:00:15,615 --> 01:00:17,551 Stop being such a doofus. 1236 01:00:17,584 --> 01:00:18,618 Did you just flick me? 1237 01:00:18,652 --> 01:00:19,486 Get out there. 1238 01:00:31,531 --> 01:00:32,332 What? 1239 01:00:37,537 --> 01:00:38,738 Son of a bitch! 1240 01:00:48,448 --> 01:00:50,083 Son of a bitch! 1241 01:00:50,116 --> 01:00:51,451 What's your dog's name? 1242 01:00:51,484 --> 01:00:52,552 Felix. 1243 01:00:52,586 --> 01:00:55,289 - That's quite the name. - I know. 1244 01:00:59,826 --> 01:01:02,429 Okay, so they seem to be getting along a lot better. 1245 01:01:03,663 --> 01:01:05,932 I ordered for you, I hope that's okay. 1246 01:01:05,966 --> 01:01:08,034 Oh yeah, what'd you get me? 1247 01:01:08,068 --> 01:01:09,337 Pig's feet. 1248 01:01:09,369 --> 01:01:10,537 Oh really? 1249 01:01:10,570 --> 01:01:11,938 Yeah, the waiter says they're really good 1250 01:01:11,972 --> 01:01:13,307 so I just went with it. 1251 01:01:19,713 --> 01:01:21,548 Tell me about yourself, 1252 01:01:21,581 --> 01:01:23,284 something that's not work-related? 1253 01:01:24,150 --> 01:01:27,387 Well, I'm from Michigan 1254 01:01:27,420 --> 01:01:29,522 and I still have a sister that's back there 1255 01:01:29,556 --> 01:01:31,091 with my mom and dad. 1256 01:01:31,124 --> 01:01:33,526 Okay, why did you move out here? 1257 01:01:33,560 --> 01:01:35,595 I wanted to new experiences. 1258 01:01:35,629 --> 01:01:39,966 I like mixing things up you know, keeping life interesting. 1259 01:01:40,000 --> 01:01:43,803 Plus Michigan is a bit of a hole, 1260 01:01:43,837 --> 01:01:46,039 like a hell frozen over kind of hole. 1261 01:01:47,774 --> 01:01:48,575 Why? 1262 01:01:49,976 --> 01:01:52,479 The town I'm from, people just, I don't know, 1263 01:01:52,512 --> 01:01:55,649 they stayed the same as they were in high school. 1264 01:01:55,682 --> 01:01:57,351 Not a lot of growth or change 1265 01:01:57,385 --> 01:02:00,086 and I guess I just realized 1266 01:02:00,120 --> 01:02:01,289 that I wanted to explore life 1267 01:02:01,322 --> 01:02:04,491 and I want different places around the world 1268 01:02:04,524 --> 01:02:06,459 to help shape who I am. 1269 01:02:10,630 --> 01:02:12,766 Lately, I kind of feel like I've gotten 1270 01:02:12,799 --> 01:02:15,403 into like just a rut. 1271 01:02:17,271 --> 01:02:20,073 My life is just the same routine 1272 01:02:20,106 --> 01:02:23,043 like all my other high school friends back home. 1273 01:02:23,076 --> 01:02:24,412 Yeah, you have. 1274 01:02:26,046 --> 01:02:27,647 Okay, how would you know that? 1275 01:02:29,015 --> 01:02:31,718 You have kept everything safe and consistent. 1276 01:02:31,751 --> 01:02:33,186 I'll have you know 1277 01:02:33,220 --> 01:02:35,889 that I was quite the party animal back in my day. 1278 01:02:35,922 --> 01:02:37,358 - Oh really? - Hmm hmm. 1279 01:02:37,391 --> 01:02:39,960 All right guys, who's flexible? 1280 01:02:39,993 --> 01:02:43,697 I got not one but two games of twister. 1281 01:02:43,730 --> 01:02:46,233 You eat the same thing for lunch every day. 1282 01:02:46,267 --> 01:02:49,337 Okay, so you're keeping tabs on my lunches now? 1283 01:02:49,370 --> 01:02:50,170 What can I say? 1284 01:02:50,203 --> 01:02:51,171 I'm a lunch stalker. 1285 01:02:53,673 --> 01:02:56,344 Gosh, I envy you. 1286 01:02:57,278 --> 01:02:58,078 How so? 1287 01:02:59,579 --> 01:03:04,117 You're just carefree and you do whatever you want. 1288 01:03:04,985 --> 01:03:06,119 Life is short. 1289 01:03:06,152 --> 01:03:07,887 I mean, do what makes you happy right? 1290 01:03:09,556 --> 01:03:10,724 What makes you happy? 1291 01:03:14,362 --> 01:03:17,298 New experiences, exploring, 1292 01:03:18,665 --> 01:03:19,699 meeting new people. 1293 01:03:21,901 --> 01:03:25,772 What I love most of all is doing things I'm afraid of. 1294 01:03:27,974 --> 01:03:29,042 That is so awesome. 1295 01:03:31,445 --> 01:03:33,713 That's disgusting. 1296 01:03:33,747 --> 01:03:36,217 Oh, you're serious. 1297 01:03:36,250 --> 01:03:37,351 I'm sorry, no, no, no. 1298 01:03:37,385 --> 01:03:38,252 You weren't supposed to see that. 1299 01:03:38,285 --> 01:03:39,487 Keira, what's wrong? 1300 01:03:39,519 --> 01:03:41,489 He has pictures of his poop on his phone. 1301 01:03:44,392 --> 01:03:45,658 Wow, gross. 1302 01:03:45,692 --> 01:03:48,094 Yeah, he does actually have those. 1303 01:03:48,128 --> 01:03:48,962 Come on Syd. 1304 01:03:50,096 --> 01:03:52,032 Reschedule, I guess? 1305 01:03:52,065 --> 01:03:52,899 Yeah. 1306 01:03:55,969 --> 01:03:56,803 Cool. 1307 01:03:58,905 --> 01:04:03,009 Everybody poops, it was a little nugget like a little nut. 1308 01:04:03,043 --> 01:04:04,878 - Dude! - I didn't show the big stuff. 1309 01:04:04,911 --> 01:04:08,282 - Oh my God! - It's okay, you want a roll? 1310 01:04:09,350 --> 01:04:11,551 - No. - There's a lot of them left. 1311 01:04:14,355 --> 01:04:16,689 I think we should all have crowns on, don't you? 1312 01:04:16,723 --> 01:04:18,292 - Hmm hmm. - No, you don't want a crown? 1313 01:04:18,325 --> 01:04:20,261 - Hmm hmm. - Look I think they're... 1314 01:04:20,294 --> 01:04:21,194 What are those? 1315 01:04:21,228 --> 01:04:22,296 They're eating giant fruit, 1316 01:04:22,329 --> 01:04:24,465 - that's almost the size- - Giant pears. 1317 01:04:34,508 --> 01:04:35,708 - Hey. - Hey. 1318 01:04:35,742 --> 01:04:37,610 Sorry, my roommate's sleeping. 1319 01:04:37,644 --> 01:04:38,446 Let's go over here. 1320 01:04:38,479 --> 01:04:39,313 Oh sorry. 1321 01:04:41,881 --> 01:04:42,715 What's up? 1322 01:04:43,983 --> 01:04:46,920 I just wanted to apologize. 1323 01:04:46,953 --> 01:04:50,990 That is not how I wanted this date to go. 1324 01:04:51,024 --> 01:04:53,327 It's fine, it's not your fault. 1325 01:04:53,360 --> 01:04:55,095 And Keira's just a bit overdramatic. 1326 01:04:55,128 --> 01:04:59,132 - So everyone poops. - Exactly. 1327 01:04:59,165 --> 01:05:01,801 I mean, just not everyone takes pictures of it. 1328 01:05:02,969 --> 01:05:04,505 Right, right, yeah. 1329 01:05:05,772 --> 01:05:09,809 I am sorry about my friend. 1330 01:05:09,843 --> 01:05:12,078 Connor can be a real tool sometimes. 1331 01:05:13,646 --> 01:05:16,749 I really wanted to go on a proper date with you. 1332 01:05:16,783 --> 01:05:17,617 Me too. 1333 01:05:26,993 --> 01:05:27,827 I should go. 1334 01:05:29,095 --> 01:05:30,331 You don't have to. 1335 01:05:30,364 --> 01:05:33,666 I mean, you could stay or whatever. 1336 01:05:40,740 --> 01:05:41,875 I should probably go. 1337 01:06:01,362 --> 01:06:04,231 Are you sure you don't wanna stay? 1338 01:06:04,265 --> 01:06:05,599 You can come in. 1339 01:06:11,639 --> 01:06:13,440 No, I'll just catch you later. 1340 01:06:16,876 --> 01:06:17,710 Okay. 1341 01:11:03,297 --> 01:11:05,332 How long have I been gone? 1342 01:11:05,365 --> 01:11:06,867 Too long I guess. 1343 01:11:12,104 --> 01:11:14,875 Is this just some scare tactic? 1344 01:11:15,776 --> 01:11:17,277 This is math. 1345 01:11:17,311 --> 01:11:19,713 We can't even afford next month's mortgage payment. 1346 01:11:26,986 --> 01:11:28,020 Where are the kids? 1347 01:11:29,823 --> 01:11:30,657 At my mom's. 1348 01:11:32,091 --> 01:11:33,293 We'll stay there 1349 01:11:33,327 --> 01:11:34,895 for a while until we can find a smaller place. 1350 01:11:39,399 --> 01:11:40,901 Is there room for me there? 1351 01:11:42,636 --> 01:11:43,470 Not currently. 1352 01:11:48,542 --> 01:11:52,312 Look, I can get another job 1353 01:11:54,248 --> 01:11:56,884 or maybe try to get my old job back. 1354 01:11:59,253 --> 01:12:00,787 If you're not happy with me and the kids, 1355 01:12:00,821 --> 01:12:02,656 what's the point of dragging this out? 1356 01:12:06,693 --> 01:12:09,128 Don't you think you're rushing into this a bit? 1357 01:12:11,532 --> 01:12:13,233 Iris was devastated when you didn't show up 1358 01:12:13,267 --> 01:12:15,101 to her violin recital. 1359 01:12:15,134 --> 01:12:16,537 She cried a lot. 1360 01:12:16,570 --> 01:12:17,771 You made your daughter cry 1361 01:12:17,804 --> 01:12:20,106 because you just want her to go out and play. 1362 01:12:20,139 --> 01:12:21,608 You used to be there and you're just not anymore. 1363 01:12:21,642 --> 01:12:23,142 And I don't wanna fight with you. 1364 01:12:23,175 --> 01:12:24,645 I don't wanna argue with you. 1365 01:12:27,079 --> 01:12:29,283 I wanna do what's best for the kids. 1366 01:12:29,316 --> 01:12:32,486 And I can't live with this behavior as a pattern. 1367 01:12:37,357 --> 01:12:39,259 It looks like I screwed this one up. 1368 01:12:46,567 --> 01:12:47,768 Care if I take these? 1369 01:12:51,738 --> 01:12:53,740 Whatever you want Adam. 1370 01:13:12,726 --> 01:13:14,761 Hey sorry it's so early. 1371 01:13:15,796 --> 01:13:16,964 I thought you were... 1372 01:13:18,565 --> 01:13:19,600 Is everything okay? 1373 01:13:20,767 --> 01:13:23,904 No, I wouldn't say everything's okay. 1374 01:13:24,838 --> 01:13:27,240 Well, what's going on? 1375 01:13:28,342 --> 01:13:30,744 You knew about it before I did. 1376 01:13:30,777 --> 01:13:31,712 So you tell me? 1377 01:13:38,619 --> 01:13:41,021 How did you find out? 1378 01:13:41,054 --> 01:13:43,189 Found a message in one of his phones. 1379 01:13:47,794 --> 01:13:50,731 Look Maddie, I am sorry. 1380 01:13:50,764 --> 01:13:51,665 That I found out 1381 01:13:53,199 --> 01:13:54,768 or that I've been cheated on. 1382 01:13:57,704 --> 01:13:59,873 It looks like we're headed towards divorce. 1383 01:14:01,308 --> 01:14:04,411 Matt doesn't even seem to care that he hurt me or the kids. 1384 01:14:04,444 --> 01:14:06,780 He told me he was glad he was caught. 1385 01:14:06,813 --> 01:14:08,849 Look, Maddie he- 1386 01:14:08,882 --> 01:14:10,751 - That bastard could do whatever the hell he wants. 1387 01:14:14,021 --> 01:14:15,555 I hope you know what you're doing. 1388 01:14:15,589 --> 01:14:17,057 Dude, I know what I'm doing. 1389 01:14:17,090 --> 01:14:18,792 There's this little chica that I met the other night. 1390 01:14:18,825 --> 01:14:20,027 It worked out well. 1391 01:14:20,060 --> 01:14:22,329 Do you wanna make some old fashions for dinner, 1392 01:14:22,362 --> 01:14:23,463 make a night of it? 1393 01:14:23,497 --> 01:14:24,398 You need to slow down. 1394 01:14:24,431 --> 01:14:26,165 Hey Adam, come on in buddy. 1395 01:14:26,198 --> 01:14:27,401 You didn't text us back 1396 01:14:27,434 --> 01:14:28,769 so we weren't sure if you were coming. 1397 01:14:29,870 --> 01:14:30,971 What is this? 1398 01:14:31,004 --> 01:14:32,105 We're celebrating. 1399 01:14:42,382 --> 01:14:45,852 Hey man, I actually just came from your house. 1400 01:14:45,886 --> 01:14:47,087 Ah, yeah, yeah, yeah. 1401 01:14:47,120 --> 01:14:50,824 Marriage is over, I'm finally free so come on. 1402 01:14:52,025 --> 01:14:53,794 What are you gonna do about your kids? 1403 01:14:55,629 --> 01:14:56,530 I don't know. 1404 01:14:56,563 --> 01:14:58,632 Maddie will just keep 'em. 1405 01:15:01,702 --> 01:15:04,304 Hey man, I actually really like Maddie. 1406 01:15:06,073 --> 01:15:08,575 You don't know what the hell you're doing. 1407 01:15:08,608 --> 01:15:12,112 I mean, she's okay but now I can do whatever I want 1408 01:15:12,145 --> 01:15:14,181 so we're celebrating. 1409 01:15:19,986 --> 01:15:20,987 You're an asshole. 1410 01:15:24,691 --> 01:15:28,729 And you guys, you're assholes for doing whatever this is 1411 01:15:28,762 --> 01:15:30,330 and I'm an asshole. 1412 01:15:37,337 --> 01:15:40,574 I can't believe I actually wanted this. 1413 01:15:44,010 --> 01:15:45,213 We're hurting people. 1414 01:15:47,681 --> 01:15:50,317 People that we should care about the most. 1415 01:15:50,350 --> 01:15:51,852 And yeah, I can't. 1416 01:17:01,021 --> 01:17:03,224 Adam, haven't seen you for a while. 1417 01:17:06,227 --> 01:17:09,563 Yeah, yeah that's basically why I'm here. 1418 01:17:10,730 --> 01:17:12,266 What can I help you with? 1419 01:17:16,304 --> 01:17:19,606 Well, I don't really have anybody to turn to 1420 01:17:19,639 --> 01:17:23,311 and I basically need some advice. 1421 01:17:24,177 --> 01:17:25,111 Of course. 1422 01:17:30,550 --> 01:17:34,020 So it looks like prepentance doesn't really work. 1423 01:17:38,091 --> 01:17:41,728 I did all of these things that I knew were wrong 1424 01:17:41,761 --> 01:17:45,932 and now I just feel worse than I ever have. 1425 01:17:47,901 --> 01:17:49,636 My wife already wants to leave me 1426 01:17:50,971 --> 01:17:55,108 and I just feel like a terrible person. 1427 01:17:58,279 --> 01:18:01,349 So what do I do? 1428 01:18:02,283 --> 01:18:05,219 - Repentance. - Repentance? 1429 01:18:05,253 --> 01:18:07,988 Repentance, go fix everything. 1430 01:18:08,021 --> 01:18:10,457 Go make amends as best you can. 1431 01:18:10,490 --> 01:18:14,628 Say sorry to all those you offended, especially your wife. 1432 01:18:17,831 --> 01:18:22,836 So it's almost like repentance for prepentance. 1433 01:18:24,905 --> 01:18:27,407 Let's just drop the prepentance term, okay? 1434 01:18:27,440 --> 01:18:31,077 Fair enough, thanks Father. 1435 01:18:33,247 --> 01:18:34,748 See you at church on Sunday? 1436 01:18:38,319 --> 01:18:41,187 Yeah, yeah, I'll be there. 1437 01:19:30,203 --> 01:19:33,173 Hello everyone, this is my first time 1438 01:19:38,346 --> 01:19:42,148 and probably my last time going live. 1439 01:19:48,356 --> 01:19:52,125 Well, the thing is I'm actually going live 1440 01:19:52,158 --> 01:19:53,927 but this message is actually only 1441 01:19:53,960 --> 01:19:57,231 for my wife and my kids so. 1442 01:19:58,732 --> 01:20:01,835 Oh wow, hey Jake. 1443 01:20:04,204 --> 01:20:05,739 Thumbs up to you too Shelly. 1444 01:20:07,907 --> 01:20:10,543 Okay, I can see why people do this. 1445 01:20:14,581 --> 01:20:17,017 Anyways, a couple months ago, 1446 01:20:21,654 --> 01:20:25,592 I decided to be a jerk. 1447 01:20:30,930 --> 01:20:32,266 I was feeling trapped 1448 01:20:32,299 --> 01:20:37,304 and feeling like I didn't have my own life 1449 01:20:41,375 --> 01:20:43,810 or that I was doing anything that was just for me. 1450 01:20:47,981 --> 01:20:52,353 I did some pretty wrong things. 1451 01:20:54,187 --> 01:20:55,722 The grass isn't always greener. 1452 01:20:59,326 --> 01:21:00,960 The grass is actually luscious green 1453 01:21:00,994 --> 01:21:02,195 with my family 1454 01:21:02,229 --> 01:21:06,800 and I temporarily lost sight of that. 1455 01:21:11,272 --> 01:21:15,209 Jen, if you're watching this, 1456 01:21:19,079 --> 01:21:19,979 I'm really sorry. 1457 01:21:24,851 --> 01:21:27,754 And I hope that you can forgive me 1458 01:21:30,291 --> 01:21:34,361 and that you can give me the chance to try 1459 01:21:34,395 --> 01:21:37,063 and earn your love and respect again. 1460 01:21:38,932 --> 01:21:42,369 I promise that I will be a better husband 1461 01:21:43,803 --> 01:21:48,608 and father than I was before this whole experiment of mine. 1462 01:21:52,745 --> 01:21:53,547 I love you. 1463 01:22:39,792 --> 01:22:42,463 So you just don't like it? 1464 01:22:42,496 --> 01:22:43,631 Yeah, it isn't me. 1465 01:22:45,865 --> 01:22:47,834 I don't really know what we can do. 1466 01:22:47,867 --> 01:22:51,539 I've never had someone try to return a car before. 1467 01:22:51,572 --> 01:22:53,374 Well, you've also never had someone buy a car 1468 01:22:53,407 --> 01:22:54,941 from you before. 1469 01:22:54,974 --> 01:22:56,743 A lot of firsts between you and me. 1470 01:23:00,113 --> 01:23:02,115 Would you want another car? 1471 01:23:02,148 --> 01:23:03,651 I think I'll just take my old car back 1472 01:23:03,683 --> 01:23:04,684 if that's okay with you. 1473 01:23:07,555 --> 01:23:09,989 My father-in-law's gonna be so flipping PO'd. 1474 01:23:14,328 --> 01:23:19,333 Wait, if I sell you your old car back 1475 01:23:20,767 --> 01:23:23,304 that still counts as a sale, right? 1476 01:23:23,337 --> 01:23:27,006 Well, look at you growing all up. 1477 01:23:27,040 --> 01:23:29,343 All right, so why don't you sell me my car 1478 01:23:29,376 --> 01:23:31,144 for the same price I sold it to you for, 1479 01:23:31,177 --> 01:23:33,247 and then I'll return this new car 1480 01:23:33,280 --> 01:23:35,549 for a slightly less price. 1481 01:23:35,583 --> 01:23:36,417 Seem fair? 1482 01:23:37,251 --> 01:23:38,452 Boy, I'll say. 1483 01:23:38,485 --> 01:23:41,388 All right, put it here buddy, yeah! 1484 01:23:42,956 --> 01:23:44,258 Hey, your shoe's untied. 1485 01:24:00,173 --> 01:24:01,741 Oh, I've missed you. 1486 01:24:19,493 --> 01:24:22,829 Oh Fluffy! 1487 01:24:24,498 --> 01:24:29,503 That is just one curious little critter. 1488 01:24:33,274 --> 01:24:35,108 Oh, I can't believe. 1489 01:24:44,884 --> 01:24:46,819 Yeah, I don't think he's coming back. 1490 01:24:54,728 --> 01:24:58,931 Maybe you could you do like a little service or something? 1491 01:25:14,748 --> 01:25:16,049 I'm gonna go. 1492 01:25:18,885 --> 01:25:20,321 Have a good day guys. 1493 01:25:22,456 --> 01:25:23,923 I'm sorry about that. 1494 01:25:41,974 --> 01:25:45,546 - Hey. - Hey. 1495 01:25:49,182 --> 01:25:54,187 I was thinking that we should talk about last week. 1496 01:25:55,556 --> 01:25:57,725 Yeah, that might be good. 1497 01:26:00,093 --> 01:26:04,631 Yeah, so I shouldn't have done that, kissed you, I mean. 1498 01:26:11,438 --> 01:26:13,873 Oh yeah, I mean probably not a good idea 1499 01:26:13,906 --> 01:26:15,342 to dip in the company ink. 1500 01:26:16,909 --> 01:26:19,246 Right, yeah, yeah that too. 1501 01:26:21,415 --> 01:26:22,583 What do you mean? 1502 01:26:22,616 --> 01:26:23,916 What? 1503 01:26:23,950 --> 01:26:26,754 - What's the too? - The too? 1504 01:26:26,787 --> 01:26:29,155 Yeah, I said it's not good for co-workers to date 1505 01:26:29,188 --> 01:26:31,325 and you said, "Yeah, that too." 1506 01:26:31,358 --> 01:26:32,326 I'm not following, I'm sorry? 1507 01:26:32,359 --> 01:26:33,594 What's your too? 1508 01:26:33,627 --> 01:26:35,729 The other reason why we shouldn't hook up? 1509 01:26:37,664 --> 01:26:39,400 You know, if you're gonna dump me like a child, 1510 01:26:39,433 --> 01:26:41,200 then at least give me the truth like an adult. 1511 01:26:41,235 --> 01:26:42,935 Okay, I didn't dump you like a child. 1512 01:26:42,969 --> 01:26:46,005 Really I mean, called in sick, avoided me for three days. 1513 01:26:46,038 --> 01:26:47,940 And every time you went to the bathroom, 1514 01:26:47,974 --> 01:26:50,844 you'd go outside around the back corner just 1515 01:26:50,878 --> 01:26:52,346 to avoid passing my desk. 1516 01:26:52,379 --> 01:26:55,081 Okay, so now you're keeping tabs on my bathroom habits? 1517 01:26:55,114 --> 01:26:56,417 Yeah, I'm a pee stalker. 1518 01:26:58,918 --> 01:27:00,587 Come on, just tell me, okay? 1519 01:27:00,621 --> 01:27:02,222 It's cool, we're gonna be fine. 1520 01:27:02,256 --> 01:27:03,357 It was just a kiss. 1521 01:27:08,295 --> 01:27:12,366 So you remember that woman I came in with? 1522 01:27:12,399 --> 01:27:13,233 Yeah. 1523 01:27:14,601 --> 01:27:19,606 So she is my wife. 1524 01:27:30,183 --> 01:27:31,117 You're married? 1525 01:27:35,856 --> 01:27:39,793 Wow, you're married and you didn't tell me? 1526 01:27:40,761 --> 01:27:42,362 Yeah, yeah. 1527 01:27:42,396 --> 01:27:43,963 You know, that's a pretty messed up situation 1528 01:27:43,996 --> 01:27:45,131 to put me in, right? 1529 01:27:46,132 --> 01:27:47,166 Wait, what? 1530 01:27:47,200 --> 01:27:48,335 You made me an adulterer. 1531 01:27:48,368 --> 01:27:50,237 No, no, no, no, you're not an adulterer. 1532 01:27:50,270 --> 01:27:52,306 Well, at least an accomplice to adultery. 1533 01:27:52,339 --> 01:27:54,441 You made me the other woman Adam. 1534 01:27:54,475 --> 01:27:56,042 Okay, but it was just a kiss. 1535 01:27:56,075 --> 01:27:57,377 It wasn't even a big deal. 1536 01:27:57,411 --> 01:27:59,413 Yeah, a kiss is no big deal, but with a married man 1537 01:27:59,446 --> 01:28:00,814 that's totally different. 1538 01:28:00,848 --> 01:28:04,150 Okay, okay yeah, I am really sorry. 1539 01:28:05,117 --> 01:28:06,787 Have you told your wife? 1540 01:28:07,888 --> 01:28:10,290 Not exactly. 1541 01:28:11,425 --> 01:28:13,293 Okay, you're a total piece of shit. 1542 01:28:14,728 --> 01:28:18,130 Yeah, yeah, I am aware and I actually agree with you. 1543 01:28:20,901 --> 01:28:22,669 My dad cheated on my mom 1544 01:28:22,703 --> 01:28:25,405 and then left us to be with his new girlfriend. 1545 01:28:25,439 --> 01:28:27,674 I don't have a lot of respect for cheaters. 1546 01:28:29,710 --> 01:28:33,914 Well, at least your dad is still alive right? 1547 01:28:36,984 --> 01:28:40,320 You know, like the joke about your dad being dead? 1548 01:28:41,889 --> 01:28:44,358 Speaking of death, I actually killed a cat today. 1549 01:28:46,727 --> 01:28:50,230 Choose your moments Adam, you're fired. 1550 01:28:50,264 --> 01:28:51,130 Yeah, I got it. 1551 01:28:52,900 --> 01:28:56,303 Oh, nice shot. 1552 01:29:11,952 --> 01:29:14,788 - Hey man. - What's up? 1553 01:29:14,821 --> 01:29:16,122 Security lets you in here? 1554 01:29:17,089 --> 01:29:18,190 Yeah, I snuck in. 1555 01:29:19,326 --> 01:29:20,994 Ratchett will be pissed if he sees you. 1556 01:29:21,028 --> 01:29:22,729 Yeah, I think he'll come around. 1557 01:29:24,798 --> 01:29:28,502 Hey, I wanted to talk to you about the other day. 1558 01:29:28,535 --> 01:29:29,937 I got nothing. 1559 01:29:29,970 --> 01:29:33,307 Okay yeah, all right look, it's on me, all right? 1560 01:29:33,340 --> 01:29:34,173 It's all on me. 1561 01:29:35,976 --> 01:29:38,312 I want to apologize 1562 01:29:38,345 --> 01:29:42,549 for attacking you on your special day. 1563 01:29:42,583 --> 01:29:45,419 Dude, you just used bunny ears on my special day. 1564 01:29:45,452 --> 01:29:47,086 That can't possibly mean you're sorry. 1565 01:29:47,119 --> 01:29:51,258 I'm sorry, I realized I don't respect your decision. 1566 01:29:51,291 --> 01:29:54,093 Oh, you're knocking this apology out of the party slugger. 1567 01:29:54,126 --> 01:29:56,463 What works for you just doesn't work for me, 1568 01:29:57,331 --> 01:29:59,566 but hey, I'll always love you. 1569 01:30:03,135 --> 01:30:06,138 Thanks, but this is what I want. 1570 01:30:07,574 --> 01:30:12,579 Yeah, yeah, this is your path and I can't join you on it. 1571 01:30:13,614 --> 01:30:14,615 It's your thing. 1572 01:30:14,648 --> 01:30:16,249 It's definitely not mine. 1573 01:30:18,885 --> 01:30:20,186 I totally kissed Syd. 1574 01:30:20,220 --> 01:30:23,023 - Shut up! - Yeah. 1575 01:30:23,056 --> 01:30:23,857 What the hell? 1576 01:30:23,890 --> 01:30:25,092 Tell me about it. 1577 01:30:25,124 --> 01:30:26,326 I mean, there's nothing to say. 1578 01:30:26,360 --> 01:30:28,127 I just went to her place after the date 1579 01:30:28,160 --> 01:30:30,030 and it kinda just happened. 1580 01:30:30,063 --> 01:30:31,231 How was it? 1581 01:30:31,264 --> 01:30:33,300 I mean, it was pretty good I guess. 1582 01:30:33,333 --> 01:30:34,334 Anything else? 1583 01:30:34,368 --> 01:30:36,503 No, no, I told her I had to go. 1584 01:30:36,536 --> 01:30:37,371 A little chug though? 1585 01:30:37,404 --> 01:30:38,338 - Oh my gosh. - Yes? 1586 01:30:38,372 --> 01:30:39,573 Maybe a little. 1587 01:30:39,606 --> 01:30:41,074 Things were changing down there. 1588 01:30:41,108 --> 01:30:44,444 But the point is, it was very quick and it was wrong. 1589 01:30:44,478 --> 01:30:46,913 And I felt terrible. 1590 01:30:46,947 --> 01:30:47,914 You're crazy, man. 1591 01:30:49,116 --> 01:30:50,117 You have a black eye? 1592 01:30:51,418 --> 01:30:53,253 Did you tell Jennifer? 1593 01:30:53,286 --> 01:30:57,090 No, no, no, this is Syd. 1594 01:30:57,124 --> 01:30:59,726 She didn't know I was married and just. 1595 01:30:59,760 --> 01:31:02,863 Oh, that's hilarious. 1596 01:31:02,896 --> 01:31:04,698 So that means you're unemployed now? 1597 01:31:05,832 --> 01:31:08,635 No, actually I got my old job back. 1598 01:31:08,669 --> 01:31:11,004 Please, please, please, please, please, please, please 1599 01:31:11,038 --> 01:31:13,006 please, please, please, please, please, please, please 1600 01:31:13,040 --> 01:31:15,776 please, please, please, please, please, please, please 1601 01:31:15,809 --> 01:31:17,878 please, please, please, please, please, please, please 1602 01:31:17,911 --> 01:31:21,415 please, please, please, please, please. 1603 01:31:21,448 --> 01:31:24,151 Wait, so are you going to tell Jen? 1604 01:31:24,183 --> 01:31:28,422 Well yeah, yeah, I'm taking care 1605 01:31:28,455 --> 01:31:29,790 of my other mistakes first. 1606 01:31:29,823 --> 01:31:31,858 And I'm saving the big one for last. 1607 01:31:31,892 --> 01:31:33,160 - Dude come on. - What? 1608 01:31:34,061 --> 01:31:34,928 Don't woos out, 1609 01:31:34,961 --> 01:31:36,730 go tell her right now. 1610 01:31:36,763 --> 01:31:37,664 Right now? 1611 01:31:37,698 --> 01:31:39,900 Right now man, right now. 1612 01:31:39,933 --> 01:31:41,768 Come on, you said it yourself, 1613 01:31:41,802 --> 01:31:44,771 you're better than me, right? 1614 01:31:44,805 --> 01:31:46,206 Yeah. 1615 01:31:46,239 --> 01:31:48,308 Go make sure you save your family. 1616 01:31:50,277 --> 01:31:52,145 - All right, okay. - Go! 1617 01:31:52,179 --> 01:31:53,113 - All right. - Go! 1618 01:31:53,146 --> 01:31:54,715 Yes all right, thank you, yes. 1619 01:31:56,149 --> 01:31:57,551 Do you accept my apology? 1620 01:32:00,153 --> 01:32:01,488 - Yeah. - Hmm hmm. 1621 01:32:04,758 --> 01:32:06,960 I love you both so much. 1622 01:32:06,993 --> 01:32:09,763 You're coming to my next violin recital, right? 1623 01:32:09,796 --> 01:32:12,632 I won't miss it for anything. 1624 01:32:12,666 --> 01:32:14,701 Okay, hey buddy. 1625 01:32:14,735 --> 01:32:17,003 I gotta go talk to your mom, okay. 1626 01:32:17,037 --> 01:32:18,138 - Okay. - You guys can stay 1627 01:32:18,171 --> 01:32:19,940 in here for a minute? 1628 01:32:19,973 --> 01:32:21,074 - Hmm hmm. - Hmm hmm. 1629 01:32:21,108 --> 01:32:22,309 I gotta go apologize. 1630 01:32:22,342 --> 01:32:23,243 - Okay. - Okay. 1631 01:32:23,276 --> 01:32:24,311 All right, love you guys. 1632 01:32:24,344 --> 01:32:25,612 Love you too. 1633 01:32:37,390 --> 01:32:39,359 - Hey. - Hey. 1634 01:32:43,396 --> 01:32:45,298 What happened to your face. 1635 01:32:45,332 --> 01:32:48,769 Oh, millennialism. 1636 01:32:53,607 --> 01:32:54,775 I need to talk to you. 1637 01:32:54,808 --> 01:32:55,909 Yeah, I know. 1638 01:32:55,942 --> 01:32:56,743 I saw your live. 1639 01:32:59,546 --> 01:33:00,347 And? 1640 01:33:03,283 --> 01:33:04,384 It was really sweet. 1641 01:33:08,555 --> 01:33:09,389 But? 1642 01:33:12,425 --> 01:33:15,128 But actions speak louder than words. 1643 01:33:15,162 --> 01:33:19,366 Well, curiosity killed the cat, all right? 1644 01:33:21,568 --> 01:33:23,670 - I'm a cat, I got killed. - No, I get it. 1645 01:33:26,373 --> 01:33:31,378 Hey, I got my old job back. 1646 01:33:32,879 --> 01:33:34,314 And are you gonna be happy? 1647 01:33:35,849 --> 01:33:38,185 I'm happy knowing you and the kids are happy. 1648 01:33:39,486 --> 01:33:41,255 I know, but I want you to be happy. 1649 01:33:41,289 --> 01:33:42,689 I am, I am. 1650 01:33:42,722 --> 01:33:45,259 I was just in a funk. 1651 01:33:45,293 --> 01:33:47,228 Okay, okay, okay, come here. 1652 01:33:47,261 --> 01:33:48,595 Sit down please. 1653 01:33:52,300 --> 01:33:56,036 Listen, I'm gonna be honest. 1654 01:33:56,069 --> 01:33:58,338 Okay, I liked a lot 1655 01:33:58,371 --> 01:34:00,974 of the changes I made over this last month or so. 1656 01:34:01,007 --> 01:34:03,076 It was really fun to do whatever I wanted. 1657 01:34:04,811 --> 01:34:07,315 But then, I had a breakthrough 1658 01:34:08,548 --> 01:34:13,086 and I realized that it's not worth it. 1659 01:34:14,754 --> 01:34:16,890 I realized that doing what I wanted would just end 1660 01:34:16,923 --> 01:34:20,994 with me being alone and I don't wanna be alone. 1661 01:34:22,429 --> 01:34:24,998 I don't wanna be without you and the kids, I don't. 1662 01:34:27,133 --> 01:34:31,339 I want things just to go back to the way they were, okay? 1663 01:34:31,371 --> 01:34:35,408 But, this time I want complete honesty, 1664 01:34:35,442 --> 01:34:38,378 just everything out on the table 100%. 1665 01:34:39,512 --> 01:34:44,218 So I have something that I need to. 1666 01:34:52,592 --> 01:34:57,597 I sort of cheated on you. 1667 01:34:58,198 --> 01:34:59,432 Okay, that's it. 1668 01:34:59,466 --> 01:35:01,067 It was just a kiss, nothing else. And I put an end to it. 1669 01:35:01,101 --> 01:35:02,502 It's completely over, okay. 1670 01:35:02,535 --> 01:35:03,503 Never again, honey. 1671 01:35:05,705 --> 01:35:07,507 I'm so sorry, I'm sorry. 1672 01:35:10,710 --> 01:35:14,915 Wow, I think it was the right thing to tell me. 1673 01:35:21,521 --> 01:35:23,156 I'm so sorry, honey. 1674 01:35:24,557 --> 01:35:26,693 I mean, I can only imagine how you're feeling right now. 1675 01:35:28,962 --> 01:35:31,431 Honestly, I feel a little bit relieved. 1676 01:35:31,464 --> 01:35:33,600 I mean, so the thing is, 1677 01:35:35,001 --> 01:35:37,570 I've been cheating on you for the last few years 1678 01:35:37,604 --> 01:35:39,539 but it was more than kissing. 1679 01:35:46,846 --> 01:35:49,749 I thought we were just being honest with each other. 1680 01:35:51,419 --> 01:35:53,220 Can you say something? 1681 01:35:53,254 --> 01:35:55,555 Just say something. 1682 01:35:55,588 --> 01:35:56,790 Are we gonna be okay? 1683 01:36:01,528 --> 01:36:03,029 Can you say something? 1684 01:36:06,766 --> 01:36:10,003 What the f- 1685 01:39:56,729 --> 01:39:59,132 I'm really sorry, okay? 1686 01:39:59,165 --> 01:40:00,401 But we can't see each other anymore. 1687 01:40:00,434 --> 01:40:02,236 I need to focus on my marriage. 1688 01:40:05,406 --> 01:40:06,773 But I really like you. 1689 01:40:06,806 --> 01:40:07,707 I know 1690 01:40:07,740 --> 01:40:08,942 Like in a lust kind of way. 1691 01:40:08,975 --> 01:40:10,678 I thought it was- 1692 01:40:10,710 --> 01:40:12,712 - I mean love maybe but. 1693 01:40:12,745 --> 01:40:14,548 Did you say in a less kind of way? 1694 01:40:14,582 --> 01:40:15,616 Like in a lust. 1695 01:40:15,649 --> 01:40:16,550 - Oh, lust? - Yeah. 1696 01:40:16,584 --> 01:40:18,319 Yeah, I'm very aware of that. 1697 01:40:18,352 --> 01:40:19,719 I'm very in lust with you.