WEBVTT FILE 1 00:00:02.000 --> 00:00:07.000 Downloaded from YTS.MX 2 00:00:08.000 --> 00:00:13.000 Official YIFY movies site: YTS.MX 3 00:00:19.587 --> 00:00:22.556 Goddammit, see that's the thing, 4 00:00:22.590 --> 00:00:24.057 I also don't understand 5 00:00:24.090 --> 00:00:26.025 when people say things like Goddammit or Jesus Christ 6 00:00:26.059 --> 00:00:27.528 for a curse. 7 00:00:27.561 --> 00:00:29.128 No matter what religious affiliation you come from, 8 00:00:29.162 --> 00:00:30.730 we can all agree that Jesus Christ 9 00:00:30.763 --> 00:00:32.966 was like a really good dude, right? 10 00:00:32.999 --> 00:00:34.501 So like, why did we say it as a curse? 11 00:00:34.535 --> 00:00:36.470 Why don't we replace it with like, 12 00:00:36.503 --> 00:00:38.104 I don't know terrible people. 13 00:00:38.137 --> 00:00:40.407 You stub your toe, you're like, "Oh, Adolf Hitler." 14 00:00:40.441 --> 00:00:42.476 Or like you pour hot coffee in your lap, you're like, 15 00:00:42.509 --> 00:00:45.679 "Oh, oh, hot coffee, Christopher Columbus." 16 00:00:45.713 --> 00:00:46.913 Christopher Columbus? 17 00:00:46.946 --> 00:00:48.349 Oh yeah, apparently a really bad dude. 18 00:00:48.382 --> 00:00:50.251 We were completely misinformed in elementary school. 19 00:00:50.284 --> 00:00:53.254 Oh, stupid guy can't catch the ball. 20 00:00:53.287 --> 00:00:54.854 These pro athletes get paid millions 21 00:00:54.887 --> 00:00:56.390 of dollars a year to catch balls. 22 00:00:56.423 --> 00:00:58.891 You'd think their video game avatars could do the same. 23 00:00:58.925 --> 00:01:01.160 If I was a pro, I would catch every pass. 24 00:01:01.194 --> 00:01:03.597 Oh yeah, just like you'd make every single sale? 25 00:01:03.631 --> 00:01:05.798 So why aren't you out there making your millions then? 26 00:01:05.832 --> 00:01:07.701 Oh dude, you have no idea. 27 00:01:07.735 --> 00:01:10.069 I have a mint idea in the works. 28 00:01:10.103 --> 00:01:13.374 You put your kids in a car seat and they are contained. 29 00:01:13.407 --> 00:01:14.575 The nice, steady rocking 30 00:01:14.608 --> 00:01:16.109 of your vehicle knocks them right out. 31 00:01:16.142 --> 00:01:19.580 Kids always fall asleep in the car. 32 00:01:20.780 --> 00:01:25.686 And that is why I came up with the bed seats. 33 00:01:26.886 --> 00:01:28.955 All you have to do is strap your little spawn 34 00:01:28.988 --> 00:01:30.424 in with these restraints 35 00:01:30.457 --> 00:01:32.459 and they will never be able to climb out of bed, 36 00:01:32.493 --> 00:01:36.796 and they will finally fall asleep when you want them to. 37 00:01:36.829 --> 00:01:41.834 And as an added bonus, patent pending car simulation. 38 00:01:48.242 --> 00:01:51.211 Obviously just a prototype, oh. 39 00:01:52.746 --> 00:01:54.847 A couple more tweaks, those things will sell like dog meat 40 00:01:54.881 --> 00:01:56.216 at a Chinese wet market. 41 00:01:57.384 --> 00:01:58.519 I'm having an affair. 42 00:02:03.890 --> 00:02:06.293 You're what? 43 00:02:07.361 --> 00:02:09.530 I'm seeing another girl. 44 00:02:09.563 --> 00:02:12.499 Just like in like a movie, real world adult shit man. 45 00:02:12.533 --> 00:02:13.734 I'm cheating on my wife. 46 00:02:15.168 --> 00:02:17.036 A little bam bam in the ham. 47 00:02:17.070 --> 00:02:18.639 Bone storming the castle. 48 00:02:18.672 --> 00:02:21.208 Going to pound town with another bunny. 49 00:02:22.543 --> 00:02:23.876 Pickle tickle by another chicken. 50 00:02:23.910 --> 00:02:27.180 Okay, okay wait, going to pound town? 51 00:02:27.214 --> 00:02:29.182 This is the time to try out that phase? 52 00:02:33.152 --> 00:02:34.621 You're serious? 53 00:02:34.655 --> 00:02:36.889 Yeah, what do you think? 54 00:02:39.660 --> 00:02:43.096 I think you're a complete son of a. 55 00:03:27.608 --> 00:03:29.543 Oh no, it's just daddy. 56 00:03:42.623 --> 00:03:44.224 Ah, Saddam Hussein. 57 00:03:45.392 --> 00:03:46.794 - Hey babe. - Hey. 58 00:03:48.127 --> 00:03:49.128 How was the game? 59 00:03:50.597 --> 00:03:54.934 The game, the game was fantastic. 60 00:03:54.967 --> 00:03:56.637 I crushed it. 61 00:03:56.670 --> 00:03:58.305 You would have been so impressed. 62 00:04:00.072 --> 00:04:04.076 Matt however is the most disappointing human being 63 00:04:04.110 --> 00:04:06.747 I've ever met in my entire life. 64 00:04:06.780 --> 00:04:07.614 Why? 65 00:04:11.518 --> 00:04:13.253 You promise not to tell anyone? 66 00:04:14.187 --> 00:04:15.389 Sure. 67 00:04:15.422 --> 00:04:16.457 You promise not to tell anyone? 68 00:04:16.490 --> 00:04:17.891 - Sure. - Not even Jen. 69 00:04:20.861 --> 00:04:24.398 Matt is putting his banana into a different fruit salad. 70 00:04:24.431 --> 00:04:27.099 What, he's cheating on Maddie? 71 00:04:27.133 --> 00:04:28.936 - Yep. - Get out, does she know? 72 00:04:29.903 --> 00:04:32.239 - Nope. - What about the kids? 73 00:04:34.173 --> 00:04:36.042 I don't think they know either. 74 00:04:36.075 --> 00:04:39.646 Okay no, I mean like what is gonna happen to them? 75 00:04:39.680 --> 00:04:40.481 Those poor kids! 76 00:04:40.514 --> 00:04:43.015 This is all so crazy. 77 00:04:43.049 --> 00:04:45.084 I can't even process this. 78 00:04:45.117 --> 00:04:46.887 Yeah, I totally understand. 79 00:04:46.920 --> 00:04:49.823 This is like beyond insane. 80 00:04:49.857 --> 00:04:53.360 My best friend got a passport, packed his bags, 81 00:04:53.393 --> 00:04:57.264 purchased a ticket and flew straight to pound town. 82 00:04:57.297 --> 00:04:58.732 I'm sorry babe, it's rough. 83 00:05:00.267 --> 00:05:01.802 Can you turn on a show or something? 84 00:05:01.835 --> 00:05:03.437 I gotta get my mind off of this. 85 00:05:34.468 --> 00:05:38.005 Hey Chad, I'd like to buy this. 86 00:05:40.807 --> 00:05:42.276 Go ahead and scan it. 87 00:05:43.610 --> 00:05:45.177 Excuse me? 88 00:05:45.212 --> 00:05:47.381 Grab a scanner and scan. 89 00:05:49.148 --> 00:05:50.250 Isn't that your job? 90 00:05:59.293 --> 00:06:00.227 $2.32. 91 00:06:20.347 --> 00:06:21.848 Can I get a bag please? 92 00:06:24.451 --> 00:06:25.686 Sure. 93 00:06:33.327 --> 00:06:38.164 Wow, excellent customer service dude. 94 00:06:38.197 --> 00:06:41.068 Thanks for shopping at Big Jim's corner store! 95 00:06:48.442 --> 00:06:50.477 I've got some potentially upsetting news. 96 00:06:50.510 --> 00:06:51.845 Oh no, now what? 97 00:06:51.878 --> 00:06:53.447 Monthly promotion changed. 98 00:06:53.480 --> 00:06:55.181 Ugh, you gotta be kidding me. 99 00:06:55.215 --> 00:06:56.583 I know, again. 100 00:06:56.617 --> 00:06:57.918 They gotta stop doing this four days 101 00:06:57.951 --> 00:06:59.653 before the month starts. 102 00:06:59.686 --> 00:07:02.389 I'll send you the email, make the changes. 103 00:07:02.422 --> 00:07:03.457 Thanks Rene. 104 00:07:14.968 --> 00:07:17.037 Mary, did you get the info on the change for next month? 105 00:07:17.070 --> 00:07:18.672 - No. - If I send you some numbers, 106 00:07:18.705 --> 00:07:19.940 can you replace them for me? 107 00:07:19.973 --> 00:07:21.441 - Sure. - All right, thanks. 108 00:07:23.043 --> 00:07:24.878 Chandelle are those new website photos ready? 109 00:07:24.911 --> 00:07:29.449 - No, Ricky had those. - Thank you. 110 00:07:34.221 --> 00:07:35.589 Carol, have you seen Ricky? 111 00:07:36.556 --> 00:07:37.457 Okay, thank you. 112 00:07:39.359 --> 00:07:41.228 Hey, have you seen Ricky? 113 00:07:41.261 --> 00:07:43.363 Not since this morning. 114 00:07:45.699 --> 00:07:48.301 Hey man, have you seen Ricky? 115 00:07:54.775 --> 00:07:55.976 Ricky? 116 00:07:56.009 --> 00:07:57.911 Oh sorry Doug, just looking for Ricky. 117 00:07:57.944 --> 00:08:01.248 Ricky, oh hey you look good man. 118 00:08:02.549 --> 00:08:03.450 No chance, bro. 119 00:08:03.483 --> 00:08:04.484 No one can find him. 120 00:08:09.656 --> 00:08:12.359 Ricky, do you have the updated photos for the website? 121 00:08:12.392 --> 00:08:13.894 Which ones? 122 00:08:13.927 --> 00:08:15.829 The updated product shots for next month's promotion. 123 00:08:15.862 --> 00:08:17.597 - It changed? - Yeah. 124 00:08:17.631 --> 00:08:18.632 To what? 125 00:08:18.665 --> 00:08:20.233 Now if you buy a garden solar panel kit, 126 00:08:20.267 --> 00:08:21.435 you also get a garden toolkit. 127 00:08:21.468 --> 00:08:23.103 That's lame. 128 00:08:23.136 --> 00:08:24.604 It's actually a really nice kit. 129 00:08:24.638 --> 00:08:26.039 Still lame. 130 00:08:26.073 --> 00:08:28.675 It comes with the nice leather carrying bag and an apron. 131 00:08:29.976 --> 00:08:30.877 Chandelle should be on that. 132 00:08:30.911 --> 00:08:32.779 Chandelle, are you kidding me? 133 00:08:32.813 --> 00:08:33.880 Are you sure? 134 00:08:33.914 --> 00:08:34.948 Oh, come on! 135 00:08:34.981 --> 00:08:36.349 Dude, focus please Ricky. 136 00:08:36.383 --> 00:08:37.818 Are you sure? 137 00:08:37.851 --> 00:08:39.886 Yeah, yeah, yeah, Chandelle should be on that project. 138 00:08:42.756 --> 00:08:47.627 She's better. 139 00:08:49.129 --> 00:08:50.297 - Chandelle? - Yep. 140 00:08:50.330 --> 00:08:51.798 Ricky told me that you were working 141 00:08:51.832 --> 00:08:53.400 in the new garden tool kit photos for the website? 142 00:08:53.433 --> 00:08:55.802 - Yep. - Okay, but you told me 143 00:08:55.836 --> 00:08:57.871 that Ricky, never mind. 144 00:08:59.072 --> 00:09:00.774 Can you email them to me please? 145 00:09:00.807 --> 00:09:02.075 - Yep. - Thank you. 146 00:09:08.615 --> 00:09:10.584 Turns out we're going to the original plan 147 00:09:10.617 --> 00:09:12.018 for promotion this month. 148 00:09:13.019 --> 00:09:14.955 - Great. - No need to change. 149 00:09:33.306 --> 00:09:35.142 - Hey Tim. - What's up? 150 00:09:38.979 --> 00:09:42.216 You know, those are for everyone. 151 00:09:42.250 --> 00:09:44.951 I know, I'm just putting a stash of them at my desk. 152 00:09:46.553 --> 00:09:48.622 But what if we run out of them in here? 153 00:09:51.758 --> 00:09:54.427 Look, the fruit snacks always go first. 154 00:09:54.461 --> 00:09:55.629 That's why I take a huge stash 155 00:09:55.662 --> 00:09:57.464 and I just put them in my drawer. 156 00:09:57.497 --> 00:10:00.400 I mean, are we supposed to go to your desk to grab them? 157 00:10:01.434 --> 00:10:02.669 Either I can come up 158 00:10:02.702 --> 00:10:07.174 and grab one every day like a homeless person 159 00:10:07.208 --> 00:10:10.410 or I can just come grab them all at once every month. 160 00:10:10.443 --> 00:10:12.946 It's actually more time efficient bro. 161 00:10:12.979 --> 00:10:14.781 That's for you. 162 00:10:14.815 --> 00:10:16.016 I think we'd prefer for you 163 00:10:16.049 --> 00:10:17.551 to come in here though once a day. 164 00:10:20.221 --> 00:10:22.189 On the rare occasions where inefficiency is best, 165 00:10:22.223 --> 00:10:23.190 he left a mess. 166 00:10:43.443 --> 00:10:45.846 Oh no, no, just start please. 167 00:10:46.746 --> 00:10:48.148 Just start, it's your only job. 168 00:10:48.181 --> 00:10:51.818 Just start! 169 00:11:08.034 --> 00:11:10.170 No Connor, 170 00:11:10.204 --> 00:11:11.339 why would you show me that? 171 00:11:11.371 --> 00:11:13.773 - That's disgusting. - It's fricking awesome. 172 00:11:13.807 --> 00:11:14.708 Here, look at this one. 173 00:11:14.741 --> 00:11:16.344 No, no I'm good. 174 00:11:16.376 --> 00:11:17.577 And you're terrible. 175 00:11:17.611 --> 00:11:18.745 You're a terrible, horrible person. 176 00:11:18.778 --> 00:11:20.013 Wait, what's going on down there. 177 00:11:20.046 --> 00:11:21.215 Connor's showing me pictures of his poop. 178 00:11:21.249 --> 00:11:23.317 What, it's human art form. 179 00:11:23.351 --> 00:11:25.118 I mean, look at this log. 180 00:11:25.151 --> 00:11:26.287 I did this this morning. 181 00:11:26.320 --> 00:11:27.821 It came straight down, 182 00:11:27.854 --> 00:11:30.324 landed perfectly vertical in the toilet bowl. 183 00:11:30.358 --> 00:11:31.925 I'm surprised it didn't fall over. 184 00:11:31.958 --> 00:11:33.193 I mean, look at this? 185 00:11:33.227 --> 00:11:35.695 - No. - Okay, okay, let me see it. 186 00:11:35.729 --> 00:11:36.863 Look at that. 187 00:11:36.897 --> 00:11:38.732 That is awesome. 188 00:11:38.765 --> 00:11:40.234 Okay all right, let me see. 189 00:11:41.134 --> 00:11:43.837 Oh, oh my gosh no. 190 00:11:43.870 --> 00:11:45.071 Okay, take this. 191 00:11:46.106 --> 00:11:47.341 You know what, full disclosure 192 00:11:47.375 --> 00:11:48.775 and I'm no expert on this Connor, 193 00:11:48.808 --> 00:11:51.379 but I'm fairly certain COVID-19 originated with you. 194 00:11:51.411 --> 00:11:53.613 It's just poop, everybody poops. 195 00:11:53.647 --> 00:11:55.982 It's a book, a New York Times bestseller. 196 00:11:56.016 --> 00:11:58.652 I mean, why do we have to be so weird about poop? 197 00:11:58.685 --> 00:12:00.787 Hell, you know who poops? 198 00:12:00.820 --> 00:12:01.588 The Pope. 199 00:12:03.790 --> 00:12:04.891 The Pope poops. Also true. 200 00:12:04.925 --> 00:12:06.159 Adam, Adam, save us please. 201 00:12:06.192 --> 00:12:07.661 All right, all right, all right guys listen up. 202 00:12:07.694 --> 00:12:10.163 Poll question, so I'm at the office, right? 203 00:12:10.196 --> 00:12:11.564 And I'm in the community break room 204 00:12:11.598 --> 00:12:13.633 and this stupid little hipster kid walks in 205 00:12:13.667 --> 00:12:15.502 and steals all the fruit snacks 206 00:12:15.535 --> 00:12:17.470 and stashes them at his desk. 207 00:12:17.504 --> 00:12:19.273 He does that so that he doesn't have to keep getting up 208 00:12:19.307 --> 00:12:20.540 to get more. 209 00:12:20.573 --> 00:12:22.410 Now I say one fruit snack for one trip. 210 00:12:22.442 --> 00:12:23.244 What say you? 211 00:12:23.277 --> 00:12:24.077 Wait, who was it? 212 00:12:24.110 --> 00:12:25.545 Tim, the Copywriter. 213 00:12:25.578 --> 00:12:26.846 Oh yeah, that guy's a total douche. 214 00:12:26.880 --> 00:12:28.448 - Douche. - No, it's fine by me. 215 00:12:28.481 --> 00:12:30.116 I mean, whatever makes your life easier. 216 00:12:30.150 --> 00:12:31.751 Connor, your whole life is the easier. 217 00:12:31.785 --> 00:12:33.254 What about the rest of the employees? 218 00:12:33.287 --> 00:12:34.621 Survival by the fittest? 219 00:12:34.654 --> 00:12:36.022 - Survival of the fittest? - Yes, survival 220 00:12:36.056 --> 00:12:36.856 - of the fittest. - Connor, 221 00:12:36.890 --> 00:12:37.991 they're for everyone. 222 00:12:38.024 --> 00:12:39.192 It's not the fricking hunger games. 223 00:12:58.878 --> 00:13:01.481 Ugh yeah, I can't even rationalize that line of thinking. 224 00:13:01.514 --> 00:13:02.983 It bothers me so much 225 00:13:03.016 --> 00:13:04.617 that there's all these dumb millennial kids just doing 226 00:13:04.651 --> 00:13:06.086 whatever they want. 227 00:13:06.119 --> 00:13:09.055 Whoa Adam, you know you're millennial, right? 228 00:13:09.089 --> 00:13:10.257 - Yeah. - What? 229 00:13:10.291 --> 00:13:12.792 No, I'm not. 230 00:13:12.826 --> 00:13:14.928 - Yeah, you are. - You guys? 231 00:13:14.961 --> 00:13:16.263 What year were you born? 232 00:13:16.297 --> 00:13:18.064 - '86. - Yup. 233 00:13:18.098 --> 00:13:22.203 - Ooh, millennial. - Millennial. 234 00:13:22.236 --> 00:13:23.437 No, no, no, no, no. 235 00:13:23.471 --> 00:13:25.272 Let's see that. From 1982 to 2004. 236 00:13:25.306 --> 00:13:26.806 - Yep, that's you. - What, no! 237 00:13:26.840 --> 00:13:28.309 - Totally. - You guys, 238 00:13:28.342 --> 00:13:30.076 I always thought millennial were like way younger than me. 239 00:13:30.110 --> 00:13:32.746 I'm not terribly old, but I always put myself 240 00:13:32.779 --> 00:13:33.747 in the Gen X tribe. 241 00:13:33.780 --> 00:13:35.615 No way, Gen X is the lame. 242 00:13:35.648 --> 00:13:37.485 But that's how I lived my whole life. 243 00:13:37.517 --> 00:13:38.785 I always worked really hard 244 00:13:38.818 --> 00:13:40.587 and always tried to do the right thing. 245 00:13:40.620 --> 00:13:42.122 I hate millennial mentality. 246 00:13:43.656 --> 00:13:45.992 Could you try the organic lotion on my feet? 247 00:13:46.026 --> 00:13:48.528 I just love the way it makes my toes feel. 248 00:13:48.561 --> 00:13:49.596 Do you hear that? 249 00:13:49.629 --> 00:13:50.797 Yeah, he's always millennial. 250 00:13:50.830 --> 00:13:52.299 Hey, make sure you get your cuticles this time. 251 00:13:52.333 --> 00:13:53.367 We saw your feet last week, 252 00:13:53.401 --> 00:13:55.436 - oh my gosh. - Okay, stop. 253 00:14:25.098 --> 00:14:27.468 Hey, I wanna buy this drink and you're gonna sell it to me. 254 00:14:27.501 --> 00:14:28.668 So get off your damn phone 255 00:14:28.701 --> 00:14:30.570 and scan it and then put it in a bag. 256 00:14:39.913 --> 00:14:43.417 Now ask me if I want the receipt in the bag, ask me. 257 00:14:43.451 --> 00:14:45.618 Would you like your receipt in your bag? 258 00:14:45.652 --> 00:14:46.920 No, no I wouldn't. 259 00:14:56.497 --> 00:14:58.765 Actually, I don't know what kind of credit card information 260 00:14:58.798 --> 00:15:00.334 is left on there. 261 00:15:00.367 --> 00:15:01.668 Oh, just the last four digits, 262 00:15:01.701 --> 00:15:03.169 but still I don't wanna give you 263 00:15:03.204 --> 00:15:05.939 or anyone else the satisfaction knowing the last four digits 264 00:15:05.972 --> 00:15:07.475 of my credit card dipshit. 265 00:15:10.143 --> 00:15:13.581 Thanks for shopping at Big Jim's corner store. 266 00:15:16.383 --> 00:15:18.084 - Hey babe - Hey. 267 00:15:20.186 --> 00:15:21.688 What's wrong? 268 00:15:21.721 --> 00:15:23.457 I'm a fricking millennial that's what. 269 00:15:23.491 --> 00:15:25.559 - What? - A millennial. 270 00:15:25.593 --> 00:15:29.028 A selfish, lazy penis ball cancer on society. 271 00:15:29.062 --> 00:15:30.598 I'm sorry to hear that. 272 00:15:31.499 --> 00:15:33.032 Okay, you don't care. 273 00:15:33.066 --> 00:15:34.602 Go ahead and make fun of me. 274 00:15:34.634 --> 00:15:35.603 No, no, no, no, 275 00:15:35.635 --> 00:15:36.736 I'm not making fun of you. 276 00:15:36.769 --> 00:15:38.606 And newsflash, you're one of them too. 277 00:15:38.638 --> 00:15:41.609 So what's the big deal with being a millennial? 278 00:15:41.641 --> 00:15:42.876 I hate them. 279 00:15:42.909 --> 00:15:44.677 I don't even want to identify with them. 280 00:15:44.711 --> 00:15:47.013 The millennial mentality is the complete opposite 281 00:15:47.046 --> 00:15:48.549 of all of my core beliefs. 282 00:15:48.582 --> 00:15:50.884 I know, one might say that they are the inferior race. 283 00:15:50.917 --> 00:15:52.419 - Exactly. - I know. 284 00:15:54.087 --> 00:15:57.023 Okay, you're definitely making fun of me. 285 00:15:57.056 --> 00:15:59.993 Okay yeah, that time I was, but I wasn't the first time. 286 00:16:01.161 --> 00:16:03.129 I can't even get the support of my own wife. 287 00:16:03.163 --> 00:16:06.233 Okay, I don't get it, just because you are a millennial, 288 00:16:06.267 --> 00:16:08.369 it doesn't mean you have to be one of them. 289 00:16:08.402 --> 00:16:09.603 Well, that's just it. 290 00:16:09.637 --> 00:16:11.137 I realized I hate millennials so much 291 00:16:11.171 --> 00:16:12.872 because I'm jealous of them. 292 00:16:12.906 --> 00:16:14.642 Everything they do is the exact opposite 293 00:16:14.674 --> 00:16:16.210 of how I live my life. 294 00:16:16.243 --> 00:16:18.778 I'm uptight, stressed out, a little dramatic. 295 00:16:18.811 --> 00:16:20.013 A little? 296 00:16:20.046 --> 00:16:21.915 The point is I do everything by the book 297 00:16:21.948 --> 00:16:24.251 and I look at these piss hand kids and I'm envious 298 00:16:24.285 --> 00:16:25.685 of how nonchalant they are, 299 00:16:25.718 --> 00:16:27.053 how they can do whatever the hell they want 300 00:16:27.086 --> 00:16:28.489 without any consequences. 301 00:16:28.522 --> 00:16:30.723 Okay, well I'm sure there are some consequences. 302 00:16:30.757 --> 00:16:31.824 I can't stop thinking about this. 303 00:16:31.858 --> 00:16:33.026 Thinking about what? 304 00:16:33.059 --> 00:16:35.061 About embracing millennialism. 305 00:16:35.094 --> 00:16:37.531 Okay, well I think you should just go to bed 306 00:16:37.565 --> 00:16:39.333 and you'll stop thinking about it. 307 00:16:39.366 --> 00:16:40.733 I'm pretty sure this is just like another one 308 00:16:40.767 --> 00:16:42.436 of your things. 309 00:16:42.469 --> 00:16:44.505 I'm gonna start living among my people. 310 00:16:45.905 --> 00:16:49.510 I'm going to become a millennial. 311 00:16:49.543 --> 00:16:51.512 Meaning what exactly? 312 00:16:51.545 --> 00:16:53.746 I'm gonna start being more selfish. 313 00:16:53.780 --> 00:16:55.482 If I want a piece of cake for breakfast, 314 00:16:55.516 --> 00:16:58.352 I'm gonna eat a flipping piece of cake for breakfast. 315 00:16:58.385 --> 00:17:00.820 No more being Mr. Responsible. 316 00:17:00.853 --> 00:17:02.523 So you're just going to start doing whatever you want? 317 00:17:02.556 --> 00:17:03.923 - Whatever. - Absolutely whatever? 318 00:17:03.957 --> 00:17:08.094 Completely whatever, 100% whatever I want. 319 00:17:08.127 --> 00:17:10.397 So is this like the one time you went vegan? 320 00:17:11.864 --> 00:17:14.834 Do you guys have anything vegan that comes on a bone? 321 00:17:16.035 --> 00:17:19.440 All right, does this little game 322 00:17:19.473 --> 00:17:21.575 include other women? 323 00:17:21.609 --> 00:17:23.843 Oh no, this is no game. 324 00:17:23.876 --> 00:17:25.044 All right, I know, 325 00:17:25.078 --> 00:17:26.547 but you're just like way too sweet. 326 00:17:26.580 --> 00:17:28.748 You can't even come up with your top five celebrity list. 327 00:17:28.781 --> 00:17:30.517 Okay well, that is way too much pressure. 328 00:17:30.551 --> 00:17:31.751 Only five women? 329 00:17:31.784 --> 00:17:33.220 My goodness, too many parameters go 330 00:17:33.254 --> 00:17:34.655 into that decision for me. 331 00:17:34.688 --> 00:17:35.989 I mean, who is on your top five? 332 00:17:36.022 --> 00:17:38.191 Will Smith, Channing Tatum, Zac Efron, 333 00:17:38.225 --> 00:17:41.328 Dwayne the Rock Johnson and Gal Gadot. 334 00:17:41.362 --> 00:17:43.129 Okay well, that was a little bit delivered too quickly 335 00:17:43.162 --> 00:17:44.465 for my liking. 336 00:17:44.498 --> 00:17:46.533 I know, but if you come to bed, I will show you 337 00:17:46.567 --> 00:17:48.569 who my main man is. 338 00:17:48.602 --> 00:17:50.671 I can't, I feel like my heart's beating out of my chest. 339 00:17:50.704 --> 00:17:53.072 Is the millennial you just like that excited? 340 00:17:53.106 --> 00:17:54.742 Nope, I had my first energy drink. 341 00:17:54.774 --> 00:17:56.175 I think it's working a little bit too good. 342 00:17:56.210 --> 00:17:57.211 A little too well. 343 00:17:59.979 --> 00:18:02.915 - Hey man. - Hey, what's up? 344 00:18:02.949 --> 00:18:03.783 Oh, nothing. 345 00:18:05.219 --> 00:18:06.420 Are you going to work? 346 00:18:06.453 --> 00:18:08.455 Yeah, I just wanted to talk about something 347 00:18:08.489 --> 00:18:10.291 - with you real quick. - Okay. 348 00:18:12.125 --> 00:18:14.827 I just figured you'd be someone who would understand 349 00:18:14.861 --> 00:18:16.095 what I'm going through. 350 00:18:16.129 --> 00:18:17.431 - Eggs? - No, I'm good. 351 00:18:17.464 --> 00:18:19.899 So with your inside information, 352 00:18:19.932 --> 00:18:22.636 what is the next big social movement going to be? 353 00:18:22.670 --> 00:18:24.605 My inside information? 354 00:18:24.638 --> 00:18:26.674 Yeah, so I was late to the whole acceptance 355 00:18:26.707 --> 00:18:28.041 of the gay phase. 356 00:18:28.074 --> 00:18:29.108 Not a phase. 357 00:18:29.142 --> 00:18:30.711 What I mean is I was the borderline bigot 358 00:18:30.744 --> 00:18:32.111 to the gay community even though now I've come 359 00:18:32.145 --> 00:18:33.046 to accept their decision. 360 00:18:33.079 --> 00:18:34.281 Not a decision. 361 00:18:34.315 --> 00:18:35.649 Okay, I need you to stop taking offense 362 00:18:35.683 --> 00:18:36.517 to everything I'm saying. 363 00:18:36.550 --> 00:18:37.451 Stop being offensive. 364 00:18:37.484 --> 00:18:38.719 Okay, just listen all right? 365 00:18:38.752 --> 00:18:40.186 This isn't about your stuff. 366 00:18:40.220 --> 00:18:42.423 This is about my stuff so just shut up and deal with it. 367 00:18:42.456 --> 00:18:43.890 I'm not trying to offend you. 368 00:18:43.923 --> 00:18:45.392 Well, you are so. 369 00:18:45.426 --> 00:18:46.226 Oh well, I'm sorry. 370 00:18:46.260 --> 00:18:47.461 It's so hard 371 00:18:47.494 --> 00:18:49.195 for me considering I think all gays are going to hell. 372 00:18:49.229 --> 00:18:50.264 Nice, and more simply 373 00:18:50.297 --> 00:18:51.732 because you think penises are gross. 374 00:18:51.765 --> 00:18:53.199 Well, I'm even repulsed by my own. 375 00:18:53.233 --> 00:18:54.435 Love is love, man. 376 00:18:54.468 --> 00:18:56.236 Okay, and that's exactly why I'm here. 377 00:18:56.270 --> 00:18:58.104 Look, I don't care about the gays. 378 00:18:58.137 --> 00:19:00.407 Screw them, I missed that social fight. 379 00:19:00.441 --> 00:19:04.177 Ah, straight White male life, so simple. 380 00:19:04.211 --> 00:19:06.313 Okay, I can fight for my straight White male rights 381 00:19:06.347 --> 00:19:07.781 if I had to. 382 00:19:07.815 --> 00:19:08.716 Could you though? 383 00:19:08.749 --> 00:19:09.916 Thank you all for coming. 384 00:19:09.949 --> 00:19:12.219 - Yeah, USA, USA - USA, USA. 385 00:19:12.252 --> 00:19:14.288 Go away, go away. 386 00:19:16.155 --> 00:19:17.123 This was a mistake. 387 00:19:18.225 --> 00:19:21.261 Guys put the signs down, put the sign down. 388 00:19:22.862 --> 00:19:24.331 Okay, shut up. 389 00:19:24.365 --> 00:19:26.533 Look, what is the next big social movement going to be? 390 00:19:28.202 --> 00:19:29.303 What do you mean you don't know? 391 00:19:29.336 --> 00:19:30.671 Teddy, come on. 392 00:19:30.704 --> 00:19:32.406 I need to be on the front lines of accepting it. 393 00:19:32.439 --> 00:19:35.074 Adam, it's not like the gays 394 00:19:35.108 --> 00:19:36.876 or the minorities get together 395 00:19:36.909 --> 00:19:40.481 and have secret meetings about how to overtake society. 396 00:19:40.514 --> 00:19:43.182 Bestiality it's bestiality isn't it? 397 00:19:43.217 --> 00:19:44.752 I'll do love is love. 398 00:19:44.785 --> 00:19:46.320 Oh come on, man. 399 00:19:46.353 --> 00:19:47.321 I'm on your team. 400 00:19:47.354 --> 00:19:48.822 I don't want you on my team, 401 00:19:48.856 --> 00:19:50.657 but also I don't know what the next big social movement is. 402 00:19:50.691 --> 00:19:53.893 I think everyone should love who they wanna love 403 00:19:53.926 --> 00:19:56.195 and be comfortable and accepted 404 00:19:56.230 --> 00:19:57.531 for who they are, that's it. 405 00:19:57.564 --> 00:19:58.632 That is so generic. 406 00:19:58.665 --> 00:20:00.199 I got a question geez. 407 00:20:01.268 --> 00:20:02.703 Sorry to interrupt your love. 408 00:20:04.937 --> 00:20:07.374 If God doesn't accept homosexuality, right? 409 00:20:07.408 --> 00:20:11.110 Sorry Teddy, and he does not accept bestiality, right? 410 00:20:11.144 --> 00:20:14.080 Is it more worse or more punishable 411 00:20:14.113 --> 00:20:17.718 if like a human dude got it on with an animal dude? 412 00:20:17.751 --> 00:20:19.720 Or is it like two different things, 413 00:20:19.753 --> 00:20:22.423 or is it because there's two negatives it makes a positive? 414 00:20:22.456 --> 00:20:23.457 Does it even matter? 415 00:20:24.625 --> 00:20:26.593 Connor, you are completely naked 416 00:20:26.627 --> 00:20:28.662 in front of your gay roommate. 417 00:20:28.695 --> 00:20:30.531 Relax, I mean it's not 418 00:20:30.564 --> 00:20:32.633 like Teddys' gonna rape me or anything. 419 00:20:32.666 --> 00:20:35.602 Still Jezebel, you're just throwing temptation out there. 420 00:20:35.636 --> 00:20:36.670 Oh, hold on. 421 00:20:36.703 --> 00:20:38.639 That is closer to bestiality. 422 00:20:38.672 --> 00:20:43.644 - Wow, hey! - Oh, come back here Rona. 423 00:20:44.611 --> 00:20:46.078 Oh come on, don't be so sad. 424 00:20:46.112 --> 00:20:47.414 We're just playing. 425 00:20:47.448 --> 00:20:49.182 I love you Connor. 426 00:20:49.216 --> 00:20:50.751 Anyway, what is this, what's happening? 427 00:20:50.784 --> 00:20:53.487 Oh, well I have decided to come out 428 00:20:53.520 --> 00:20:55.322 of my proverbial closet if you will 429 00:20:55.355 --> 00:20:58.459 and embrace my millennialistic ways. 430 00:20:58.492 --> 00:20:59.992 What does that even mean? 431 00:21:00.026 --> 00:21:01.595 I'm glad you asked. 432 00:21:01.628 --> 00:21:03.664 Ah, I wondered what that was for. 433 00:21:04.798 --> 00:21:07.301 Okay, let's see here. 434 00:21:08.435 --> 00:21:11.137 Millennial, a person reaching young adulthood 435 00:21:11.170 --> 00:21:14.775 in the early 21st century who grew up on computer technology 436 00:21:14.808 --> 00:21:18.712 and is often referred to as the me, me, me generation. 437 00:21:18.745 --> 00:21:19.947 Okay? 438 00:21:19.979 --> 00:21:23.851 So I am going to become a millennial. 439 00:21:23.884 --> 00:21:26.653 Okay, just so I have this straight. 440 00:21:26.687 --> 00:21:28.689 You coming out as a millennial 441 00:21:28.722 --> 00:21:31.325 is the same as me coming out as gay. 442 00:21:31.358 --> 00:21:33.327 See, I knew you'd get it. 443 00:21:34.495 --> 00:21:37.564 - You're so brave. - Thank you. 444 00:21:37.598 --> 00:21:39.098 Wait a minute, wait a minute. 445 00:21:39.131 --> 00:21:41.668 Millennial wouldn't even be in this dictionary. 446 00:21:44.003 --> 00:21:48.976 Oh okay, I think you might be more millennial 447 00:21:50.109 --> 00:21:51.712 than you give yourself credit for. 448 00:21:51.745 --> 00:21:53.012 What? 449 00:21:53.045 --> 00:21:54.882 I wanted it to have a more dramatic effect. 450 00:21:54.915 --> 00:21:56.283 No, this is nice. 451 00:21:56.316 --> 00:21:57.317 I like this. 452 00:21:57.351 --> 00:21:58.585 Good job, I approve. 453 00:21:58.619 --> 00:21:59.553 Thank you. 454 00:21:59.586 --> 00:22:00.954 How long did that take you? 455 00:22:00.988 --> 00:22:01.755 Way too long. 456 00:22:13.333 --> 00:22:16.703 - Hello there, Father. - Hello brother. 457 00:22:16.737 --> 00:22:18.472 What can I help you with? 458 00:22:18.505 --> 00:22:21.742 Oh father, I am here to prepent. 459 00:22:21.775 --> 00:22:22.743 You're here to what? 460 00:22:22.776 --> 00:22:23.977 - Prepent - Prepent? 461 00:22:24.011 --> 00:22:25.979 Prepent, I would like to confess 462 00:22:26.013 --> 00:22:27.381 of sins I'm going to commit. 463 00:22:27.414 --> 00:22:28.849 It's not exactly how it works. 464 00:22:28.882 --> 00:22:31.018 Well, I figured I can come in here and take care of all 465 00:22:31.050 --> 00:22:32.619 of the guilt and the feeling bad 466 00:22:32.653 --> 00:22:34.521 and the confession stuff now so I can go out 467 00:22:34.555 --> 00:22:36.690 and enjoy the sin with a clear conscience. 468 00:22:37.958 --> 00:22:39.860 We are here to avoid sin. 469 00:22:39.893 --> 00:22:41.895 - Right. - And to try our best 470 00:22:41.929 --> 00:22:43.797 - to be like Jesus. - Right, I get that. 471 00:22:43.830 --> 00:22:45.265 But you're wanting to go sin? 472 00:22:45.299 --> 00:22:46.800 - Correct. - And confess those sins 473 00:22:46.833 --> 00:22:48.302 before we actually commit those sins. 474 00:22:48.335 --> 00:22:49.469 Correct, you get it. 475 00:22:49.503 --> 00:22:51.103 This isn't in God's teachings. 476 00:22:51.137 --> 00:22:53.473 - Agreed. - So why would you want 477 00:22:53.507 --> 00:22:54.741 to go sin? 478 00:22:54.775 --> 00:22:56.175 Well, I figured we're all imperfect, right? 479 00:22:56.209 --> 00:22:57.744 - Right. - And we all sin, correct? 480 00:22:57.778 --> 00:22:59.078 - Correct. - So why not confess 481 00:22:59.111 --> 00:23:01.147 of the sin now so we can enjoy them later? 482 00:23:01.180 --> 00:23:03.250 Because then those things would be even worse. 483 00:23:03.283 --> 00:23:04.484 Why? 484 00:23:04.518 --> 00:23:05.919 Because they'd be premeditated sins. 485 00:23:05.953 --> 00:23:07.521 Well, that's why I wanna confess of them now. 486 00:23:07.554 --> 00:23:09.256 Prepentance isn't a thing. 487 00:23:09.289 --> 00:23:10.424 I beg to differ. 488 00:23:10.457 --> 00:23:11.858 I'm literally doing it right now. 489 00:23:11.892 --> 00:23:14.328 Sort of a confession before the crime. 490 00:23:14.361 --> 00:23:15.562 What's the difference? 491 00:23:15.596 --> 00:23:17.331 What kinds of sins are we talking about here? 492 00:23:17.364 --> 00:23:18.966 Oh, I don't know exactly. 493 00:23:18.999 --> 00:23:20.434 Then how are we supposed to prepent 494 00:23:20.467 --> 00:23:21.935 if you don't know what your sins are? 495 00:23:21.969 --> 00:23:23.403 So prepentance is a thing? 496 00:23:23.437 --> 00:23:25.005 I'm just trying to understand. 497 00:23:25.038 --> 00:23:26.340 What propellant is. 498 00:23:26.373 --> 00:23:28.275 No, I fully get the concept. 499 00:23:28.308 --> 00:23:30.877 I want to understand what sins you're wanting to do. 500 00:23:30.911 --> 00:23:32.111 Well, here's the thing. 501 00:23:32.144 --> 00:23:33.680 I have been a pretty straight shooter. 502 00:23:33.714 --> 00:23:36.249 I'm talking grade A heavy material. 503 00:23:36.283 --> 00:23:37.484 That's a good thing. 504 00:23:37.517 --> 00:23:39.886 But I'm going through this like life crisis. 505 00:23:39.920 --> 00:23:41.855 And I just wanna let loose, Carpe diem, 506 00:23:41.888 --> 00:23:45.392 sow my wild oats, rub my nose into some fruit salad 507 00:23:45.425 --> 00:23:46.226 if you will. 508 00:23:46.259 --> 00:23:47.461 But you don't know 509 00:23:47.494 --> 00:23:49.096 what commandments you would want to break? 510 00:23:50.564 --> 00:23:51.832 No, no, no, not really. 511 00:23:51.865 --> 00:23:53.433 I mean, I'm open to some suggestions. 512 00:23:53.467 --> 00:23:54.935 I just know I wanna become a millennial 513 00:23:54.968 --> 00:23:56.503 and basically be more selfish 514 00:23:56.536 --> 00:23:59.673 and do whatever the hell I want, oh excuse me father. 515 00:23:59.706 --> 00:24:02.075 My worry is that you will stumble into sin 516 00:24:02.109 --> 00:24:04.678 and then not be able to get yourself back out of it. 517 00:24:04.711 --> 00:24:08.315 Right, right, that's definitely a possibility. 518 00:24:08.348 --> 00:24:09.449 What about your family? 519 00:24:09.483 --> 00:24:10.651 Oh, they're on board. 520 00:24:12.184 --> 00:24:14.388 I guess that settles it. 521 00:24:14.421 --> 00:24:15.722 So I have your blessing then? 522 00:24:15.756 --> 00:24:17.124 - No. - You vocally said no there 523 00:24:17.156 --> 00:24:20.093 but I feel like your heart said yes. 524 00:24:20.127 --> 00:24:21.795 - No - I love you Father. 525 00:24:32.973 --> 00:24:34.041 What's going on here? 526 00:24:35.242 --> 00:24:37.611 They're seeing who can hold their pee the most. 527 00:24:37.644 --> 00:24:39.780 Okay you guys, I came here to reveal my big plan 528 00:24:39.813 --> 00:24:42.449 and how I'm gonna start living my life as a millennial. 529 00:24:42.482 --> 00:24:44.351 My third life crisis if you will. 530 00:24:44.384 --> 00:24:47.054 That makes it sound like it's your third life crisis. 531 00:24:47.087 --> 00:24:49.856 I think you've had one, two, three life crisises. 532 00:24:49.890 --> 00:24:51.558 Good point, not like it's a third point 533 00:24:51.591 --> 00:24:53.360 in your life crisis? 534 00:24:53.393 --> 00:24:54.861 Mid-life crisis works. 535 00:24:54.895 --> 00:24:56.897 If we used half-life crisis, it would just cause confusion. 536 00:24:56.930 --> 00:24:59.066 Okay, but like a third of my life, what would I call that? 537 00:24:59.099 --> 00:25:00.567 I think that's why a third life crisis 538 00:25:00.600 --> 00:25:01.601 isn't a thing bud. 539 00:25:02.536 --> 00:25:04.237 Why are you doing so much better than he is? 540 00:25:04.271 --> 00:25:06.673 Oh, I didn't even come close to drinking my gallon of water. 541 00:25:06.707 --> 00:25:10.944 You beautiful bastard, you son of a, move, move. 542 00:25:12.345 --> 00:25:14.581 First order of business, get some new friends. 543 00:25:14.614 --> 00:25:15.849 Whatever. 544 00:25:15.882 --> 00:25:17.184 I don't mean I'm gonna replace you. 545 00:25:17.217 --> 00:25:18.418 I just need additional friends. 546 00:25:18.452 --> 00:25:20.854 I just need a splash of class in my life. 547 00:25:20.887 --> 00:25:23.857 Where do I find sophisticated people like the ones 548 00:25:23.890 --> 00:25:28.228 that go to museums or talk politics or whatnot? 549 00:25:28.261 --> 00:25:29.996 How about at a museum? 550 00:25:30.030 --> 00:25:32.999 Okay, but I don't want to actually go to a museum. 551 00:25:33.033 --> 00:25:34.234 Okay, so what is that? 552 00:25:36.002 --> 00:25:37.003 I didn't make it. 553 00:25:39.706 --> 00:25:41.875 Connor, go take a shower. 554 00:25:41.908 --> 00:25:43.310 Why do I even have to tell you? 555 00:25:43.343 --> 00:25:44.611 That should be your next step. 556 00:25:44.644 --> 00:25:47.514 - Sorry, jeez. - Awesome. 557 00:25:47.547 --> 00:25:49.217 It's not like I drank a gallon of water. 558 00:25:49.249 --> 00:25:50.717 All right you guys, come on. 559 00:25:50.751 --> 00:25:54.588 It's time for me to reveal my plan "Home Alone" style. 560 00:25:54.621 --> 00:25:56.089 I don't understand that reference. 561 00:25:56.123 --> 00:25:57.691 You know, when little Kevin makes the blueprints 562 00:25:57.724 --> 00:25:58.959 for when the robbers are coming? 563 00:25:58.992 --> 00:26:00.327 That's a pretty obscure reference.. 564 00:26:00.360 --> 00:26:01.561 Dude come on, just go with it. 565 00:26:01.595 --> 00:26:02.763 You're ruining my big reveal here. 566 00:26:02.796 --> 00:26:05.098 I mean, if you were just gone aah! 567 00:26:05.132 --> 00:26:06.800 Then I'd be right there with you. 568 00:26:06.833 --> 00:26:08.001 That has nothing to do with this. 569 00:26:08.034 --> 00:26:09.237 Well then, use a reference that works. 570 00:26:09.269 --> 00:26:10.971 I'm sorry, it's just the best Christmas movie 571 00:26:11.004 --> 00:26:12.572 of all time I would have expected you 572 00:26:12.606 --> 00:26:14.040 - to get it. - Whoa, whoa, whoa, 573 00:26:14.074 --> 00:26:16.309 "Home Alone" is not even the best "Home Alone" movie 574 00:26:16.343 --> 00:26:18.712 of all time, let alone the best Christmas movie. 575 00:26:18.745 --> 00:26:20.947 Are you suggesting that when little Kevin is lost 576 00:26:20.981 --> 00:26:22.983 in New York City that that's a superior film? 577 00:26:23.016 --> 00:26:25.285 - Yeah. - Cheap for a sequel rip off 578 00:26:25.318 --> 00:26:28.321 as if Mr. And Mrs. McCallister would lose their son again. 579 00:26:28.355 --> 00:26:30.891 Not to mention the title has nothing to do with the plot. 580 00:26:30.924 --> 00:26:32.392 He's not even home alone again. 581 00:26:32.425 --> 00:26:34.228 Whatever, it's still not the best Christmas movie 582 00:26:34.262 --> 00:26:35.061 of all time. 583 00:26:35.095 --> 00:26:36.396 Oh yeah, what is? 584 00:26:36.429 --> 00:26:37.664 "Love Actually". 585 00:26:37.697 --> 00:26:40.467 Yeah, I mean maybe. 586 00:26:40.500 --> 00:26:42.002 I'm sure all your gay friends say that. 587 00:26:42.035 --> 00:26:43.770 Lift yourself higher Adam. 588 00:26:43.804 --> 00:26:48.276 Okay, so basically I made a detailed list 589 00:26:48.308 --> 00:26:51.645 of all the things that I could find that millennials do. 590 00:26:53.046 --> 00:26:55.015 A simple Excel spreadsheet would have sufficed. 591 00:26:55.048 --> 00:26:57.684 Yeah, but not nearly as cool or dramatic. 592 00:26:57.717 --> 00:26:59.986 I expected you to be the one to understand this. 593 00:27:00.020 --> 00:27:03.023 Oh my God, another gay stereotype. 594 00:27:03.056 --> 00:27:05.192 That is so sweet. 595 00:27:05.226 --> 00:27:06.693 Dude, you should dust off some 596 00:27:06.726 --> 00:27:09.396 of your famous high school journalism with this. 597 00:27:09.429 --> 00:27:11.331 Are you concerned with a modern day cast being 598 00:27:11.364 --> 00:27:13.301 in a Shakespeare period piece?. 599 00:27:13.333 --> 00:27:14.167 Nope. 600 00:27:16.837 --> 00:27:19.273 Drama in the drama club. 601 00:27:19.307 --> 00:27:22.310 Rumor has it that chip prices will increase next week. 602 00:27:22.342 --> 00:27:24.278 Can you confirm? 603 00:27:24.312 --> 00:27:25.545 I don't know. 604 00:27:25.579 --> 00:27:28.949 Inflation attacks high school ta ta tan! 605 00:27:31.651 --> 00:27:34.588 Whatever the high school equivalent of a Pulitzer prize is, 606 00:27:34.621 --> 00:27:36.122 I would have it. 607 00:27:36.156 --> 00:27:38.091 Whatever Adam, this is just another one of your charades. 608 00:27:38.124 --> 00:27:39.426 You'll be done with this soon enough. 609 00:27:39.459 --> 00:27:40.994 Not this time my gay friend. 610 00:27:42.462 --> 00:27:43.297 Props to you. 611 00:27:44.764 --> 00:27:46.399 The next time you both see me, 612 00:27:46.433 --> 00:27:49.002 I will be a full blown millennial. 613 00:27:52.206 --> 00:27:54.608 Bye! 614 00:27:54.641 --> 00:27:57.777 Anyways, I think if the entire world converted to bamboo 615 00:27:57.811 --> 00:27:59.713 instead of use plastic, 616 00:27:59.746 --> 00:28:01.915 you could end all the atrocities of war. 617 00:28:11.758 --> 00:28:13.294 Oh, look at this grandpa. 618 00:28:18.832 --> 00:28:20.467 Yeah, nice head dick wad. 619 00:28:54.067 --> 00:28:55.568 One, two, three. 620 00:28:57.305 --> 00:28:58.471 - Roar! - Roar! 621 00:28:59.739 --> 00:29:00.874 What is this? 622 00:29:14.921 --> 00:29:16.589 You got the claws. 623 00:29:19.492 --> 00:29:20.760 - Oh no! - Truman! 624 00:29:20.794 --> 00:29:22.729 The master's waking up! 625 00:29:24.798 --> 00:29:25.865 Set and fire! 626 00:29:28.468 --> 00:29:30.404 - Are you sick? - Nope. 627 00:29:30.438 --> 00:29:32.505 Aren't you gonna be late for work? 628 00:29:32.539 --> 00:29:33.473 What work? 629 00:29:34.308 --> 00:29:35.409 Hardy, ha ha. 630 00:29:35.443 --> 00:29:37.143 No seriously, I quit. 631 00:29:38.078 --> 00:29:39.380 You're joking? 632 00:29:39.413 --> 00:29:40.580 No seriously, I quit. 633 00:29:42.048 --> 00:29:43.984 Hey kids, why don't you go downstairs and watch a show? 634 00:29:44.017 --> 00:29:46.052 - No, we wanna play. - No, we wanna play. 635 00:29:46.086 --> 00:29:47.787 Oh, if you go downstairs and watch your show, 636 00:29:47.821 --> 00:29:49.089 I'll make you pancakes. 637 00:29:49.122 --> 00:29:50.324 - Pancakes! - Pancakes! 638 00:29:53.760 --> 00:29:54.594 You quit? 639 00:29:56.062 --> 00:29:56.963 I'm pretty sure. 640 00:29:58.698 --> 00:30:00.267 Well, did you or didn't you? 641 00:30:28.895 --> 00:30:30.196 It's not funny. 642 00:30:30.231 --> 00:30:32.532 Well, it's not, not funny. 643 00:30:33.900 --> 00:30:35.902 Why did you do that? 644 00:30:35.935 --> 00:30:37.371 Well, it was a diss kind of cake 645 00:30:37.405 --> 00:30:39.172 and they said they would put whatever I wanted on the cake. 646 00:30:39.206 --> 00:30:41.141 Okay no, why did you quit? 647 00:30:41.174 --> 00:30:44.478 Well, I was doing a job that I hated for so long. 648 00:30:44.512 --> 00:30:47.248 It was time for me to be happy. 649 00:30:49.383 --> 00:30:50.850 I don't think that was really fair 650 00:30:50.884 --> 00:30:53.220 that you didn't even talk to me about it first. 651 00:30:53.254 --> 00:30:54.854 Well trust me, this is just one little step 652 00:30:54.888 --> 00:30:55.855 of my millennial journey. 653 00:30:55.889 --> 00:30:57.224 Okay well, I hope that works out. 654 00:30:57.258 --> 00:31:00.528 Hey, I got you. 655 00:31:00.560 --> 00:31:02.062 Yeah well, curiosity killed the cat you know? 656 00:31:02.095 --> 00:31:03.596 So I have nine lives to do my thing. 657 00:31:03.630 --> 00:31:04.831 That is not what that means. 658 00:31:04.864 --> 00:31:06.099 It means that the cat was so curious, 659 00:31:06.132 --> 00:31:06.966 it ended up killing itself. 660 00:31:07.000 --> 00:31:08.235 Why not curiosity killed the dog. 661 00:31:08.269 --> 00:31:09.803 I mean, I guess cats are more curious than dogs. 662 00:31:09.836 --> 00:31:11.571 I don't know, I find dogs quite curious. 663 00:31:11.604 --> 00:31:13.106 Okay, that's not what it means. 664 00:31:13.139 --> 00:31:14.275 And I didn't come up with the saying so you can stop 665 00:31:14.308 --> 00:31:15.809 - being an ass hat. - Stupid saying really. 666 00:31:15.842 --> 00:31:17.010 What are we gonna do 667 00:31:17.043 --> 00:31:18.178 for money now that you don't have a job? 668 00:31:18.212 --> 00:31:19.413 Oh okay, I see how it is. 669 00:31:19.447 --> 00:31:20.713 You're just using me for my paycheck? 670 00:31:20.747 --> 00:31:22.516 Yeah, 'cause this girl has got to eat. 671 00:31:22.550 --> 00:31:24.017 Okay, we're gonna be fine. 672 00:31:24.050 --> 00:31:26.653 I have enough PTO cash that will last a while, all right? 673 00:31:37.130 --> 00:31:39.500 - Hey there! - Hello, are you Sydney? 674 00:31:39.533 --> 00:31:41.935 That's me. 675 00:31:41.968 --> 00:31:44.205 I'm Adam, I'm here to interview 676 00:31:44.238 --> 00:31:46.039 for the barrister position. 677 00:31:46.072 --> 00:31:47.241 - Oh yeah? - Yeah. 678 00:31:48.509 --> 00:31:52.078 - Corporate guy aren't you? - Was. 679 00:31:52.112 --> 00:31:52.912 Why'd you quit? 680 00:31:55.648 --> 00:31:57.150 No more Mr. Ratchett. 681 00:31:57.183 --> 00:32:00.720 Keep playing. 682 00:32:02.088 --> 00:32:04.592 I'm just looking for something new and exciting. 683 00:32:08.462 --> 00:32:11.332 - Huh? - Huh, what? 684 00:32:12.500 --> 00:32:14.634 Don't know if you'd be a fit here. 685 00:32:14.667 --> 00:32:15.902 Why is that? 686 00:32:15.935 --> 00:32:18.805 Am I not young or cool or hip enough for you? 687 00:32:18.838 --> 00:32:22.041 I mean, I think it's unfair to judge me so quickly. 688 00:32:22.075 --> 00:32:24.211 Just don't know if you can hack this job. 689 00:32:24.245 --> 00:32:25.812 I've worked a much more difficult job 690 00:32:25.845 --> 00:32:27.214 for the past 10 years. 691 00:32:27.248 --> 00:32:30.217 I think I can handle pouring coffee. 692 00:32:30.251 --> 00:32:33.119 This job is crazy and fast paced 693 00:32:33.153 --> 00:32:36.189 and it doesn't pay that well so. 694 00:32:36.223 --> 00:32:38.359 I'm game, I want this job. 695 00:32:43.663 --> 00:32:46.600 Excuse me, eyes up here please. 696 00:32:49.236 --> 00:32:53.641 Okay, okay, we'll give you a shot. 697 00:32:53.673 --> 00:32:56.142 Great, when do I start? 698 00:32:57.744 --> 00:32:58.546 Right now. 699 00:33:03.617 --> 00:33:05.718 - No, stop, no! - What, do I push this button? 700 00:33:05.752 --> 00:33:07.787 No, I told you it was the other one. 701 00:33:07.820 --> 00:33:09.055 I'm sorry, it's my first time. 702 00:33:09.088 --> 00:33:10.957 No, stop spraying everywhere. 703 00:33:10.990 --> 00:33:13.826 - Whoa! - Adam, I was talking 704 00:33:13.860 --> 00:33:15.429 about the espresso. 705 00:33:15.462 --> 00:33:16.763 Oh, sure you were. 706 00:33:17.631 --> 00:33:19.633 Jeff, here you go. 707 00:33:19.667 --> 00:33:21.535 Have a good day Jeff. 708 00:33:21.569 --> 00:33:23.337 Did you just see my customer service? 709 00:33:23.370 --> 00:33:25.071 I did and it was impressive. 710 00:33:25.104 --> 00:33:26.806 You hired the right guy. 711 00:33:26.839 --> 00:33:27.675 I guess I did. 712 00:33:30.544 --> 00:33:31.378 Who's this? 713 00:33:31.412 --> 00:33:33.947 Oh Todd, this is Adam. 714 00:33:33.980 --> 00:33:35.181 He just started today. 715 00:33:35.216 --> 00:33:39.953 - Hey man. - You needed another person? 716 00:33:41.589 --> 00:33:44.625 - Yeah. - I see. 717 00:33:47.160 --> 00:33:50.598 - He's a bit dramatic. - I'll say. 718 00:34:18.791 --> 00:34:20.026 What is this? 719 00:34:20.059 --> 00:34:22.161 The kids are at my mom's 720 00:34:22.195 --> 00:34:25.031 and we are gonna have a millennial day out. 721 00:34:26.400 --> 00:34:27.234 Oh? 722 00:34:28.435 --> 00:34:30.003 I'm trying to do this with you. 723 00:34:31.472 --> 00:34:32.573 I don't deserve you. 724 00:34:40.681 --> 00:34:42.549 Oh wait, are you kidding me? 725 00:34:42.583 --> 00:34:44.117 - This place? - Oh come on, 726 00:34:44.150 --> 00:34:46.220 this is like the most millennial place in town. 727 00:34:46.253 --> 00:34:49.188 It's hip, modern and everything is vegan. 728 00:34:50.089 --> 00:34:52.158 Yeah, I don't wanna do this. 729 00:34:52.191 --> 00:34:54.528 Oh come on, millennial up Adam, let's go. 730 00:34:55.696 --> 00:34:58.031 Oh, Lord help me. 731 00:34:58.064 --> 00:35:00.734 - Oh my God. - Come on. 732 00:35:10.143 --> 00:35:10.977 Hello? 733 00:35:13.414 --> 00:35:15.316 Oh, what do you want? 734 00:35:17.584 --> 00:35:21.020 Can I get a raspberry iced tea? 735 00:35:21.054 --> 00:35:23.390 I'll just have a decaf coffee. 736 00:35:23.424 --> 00:35:26.025 Oh, 'cause you don't already have everything, mmh? 737 00:35:29.229 --> 00:35:30.397 $8.36. 738 00:35:37.638 --> 00:35:40.240 Oh, and can I get my receipt? 739 00:35:48.682 --> 00:35:51.719 Wow, service here is really great, huh? 740 00:35:52.753 --> 00:35:53.986 Hmm mmh. 741 00:35:54.020 --> 00:35:56.122 It's a pretty cool place though, yeah? 742 00:35:57.156 --> 00:35:57.990 Yeah. 743 00:36:00.026 --> 00:36:02.529 - Are you okay? - Hmm, what, yeah. 744 00:36:10.136 --> 00:36:10.970 Oops. 745 00:36:12.272 --> 00:36:14.040 Do you have a problem with us? 746 00:36:15.309 --> 00:36:17.411 Excuse me, I'd like to speak to your manager! 747 00:36:17.444 --> 00:36:18.445 What are you doing? 748 00:36:18.479 --> 00:36:19.747 I don't think he should treat us like that. 749 00:36:19.780 --> 00:36:20.980 It's fine, it's fine. 750 00:36:22.148 --> 00:36:23.817 Is everything alright over here? 751 00:36:24.951 --> 00:36:27.488 Oh okay, is he bothering you 752 00:36:27.521 --> 00:36:28.622 'cause I can kick him out? 753 00:36:29.922 --> 00:36:32.526 No, actually your employee over there 754 00:36:32.559 --> 00:36:34.294 has been extremely rude to us. 755 00:36:34.328 --> 00:36:37.431 Oh gosh, sometimes it feels like I'm running a daycare. 756 00:36:37.464 --> 00:36:39.867 I apologize for Todd there, he's. 757 00:36:39.899 --> 00:36:41.535 Anyways, I'm Sydney. 758 00:36:41.568 --> 00:36:45.372 Oh, Jennifer and this is Adam. 759 00:36:46.407 --> 00:36:47.641 But of course. 760 00:36:49.643 --> 00:36:51.311 Are you gonna shake her hand? 761 00:36:53.112 --> 00:36:57.183 Oh no, no, I think that would actually be rude 762 00:36:57.217 --> 00:37:00.554 to shake her hand, or your hand or like anyone else's hand 763 00:37:00.587 --> 00:37:04.591 'cause I'm actually still practicing social distancing so. 764 00:37:04.625 --> 00:37:05.826 I love this guy. 765 00:37:05.859 --> 00:37:07.895 Anyway, you two enjoy. 766 00:37:07.927 --> 00:37:09.863 Oh, I forgot something. 767 00:37:09.897 --> 00:37:11.565 Why are you being so weird? 768 00:37:11.598 --> 00:37:14.167 It's this place, it's not my vibe. 769 00:37:16.270 --> 00:37:18.639 You forgot this. 770 00:37:18.672 --> 00:37:22.342 Oh, look at that, a souvenir. 771 00:37:28.549 --> 00:37:32.419 Well, thank you so much for the coffee 772 00:37:32.453 --> 00:37:37.357 and the tea and the souvenir and the hand shakes 773 00:37:37.391 --> 00:37:40.594 and it's just great, great. 774 00:37:40.627 --> 00:37:44.030 We should probably be going you know? 775 00:37:44.063 --> 00:37:45.699 No, we just got here. 776 00:37:45.732 --> 00:37:47.033 Come on, let's just. 777 00:37:47.066 --> 00:37:49.436 Thank you, thank you. 778 00:37:49.470 --> 00:37:52.940 All right, I guess I'll see you tomorrow. 779 00:37:54.341 --> 00:37:57.211 Don't be so pretentious as if I'm coming back. 780 00:38:36.316 --> 00:38:38.585 - Hello. - Hi. 781 00:38:39.920 --> 00:38:41.288 Hello, how are you doing? 782 00:38:42.356 --> 00:38:43.189 Good. 783 00:38:50.764 --> 00:38:51.865 So what happens next? 784 00:38:53.934 --> 00:38:58.939 Right, ask if you can help the customer with anything. 785 00:39:03.109 --> 00:39:07.981 Well, I was looking at this car. 786 00:39:09.950 --> 00:39:11.652 Can you tell me anything about it? 787 00:39:21.995 --> 00:39:25.131 This is a blue car. 788 00:39:28.936 --> 00:39:32.039 Oh, interesting, interesting. 789 00:39:33.340 --> 00:39:34.274 So it runs well? 790 00:39:39.346 --> 00:39:41.415 It's a good model of car? 791 00:39:42.716 --> 00:39:43.684 Hmm hmm. 792 00:39:46.420 --> 00:39:47.955 All right, I'm gonna be straight with you, Paul. 793 00:39:47.988 --> 00:39:49.155 I don't know enough about cars 794 00:39:49.188 --> 00:39:50.390 or know what to even ask about them. 795 00:39:50.424 --> 00:39:53.260 So I'm just gonna say if it runs well 796 00:39:53.293 --> 00:39:57.464 and it looks pretty, that's good enough for me. 797 00:39:57.497 --> 00:39:59.299 - Yeah. - Yeah. 798 00:40:03.337 --> 00:40:07.307 So I think I'll take it. 799 00:40:07.341 --> 00:40:09.076 Okay, you have a good day, sir. 800 00:40:11.478 --> 00:40:14.414 Paul, Paul, get back here, buddy. 801 00:40:17.751 --> 00:40:21.321 I'm gonna need you to listen to my words. 802 00:40:21.355 --> 00:40:23.557 I want to buy this car. 803 00:40:30.129 --> 00:40:32.899 That's great, my first sale. 804 00:40:32.933 --> 00:40:35.302 Oh well, that's surprising. 805 00:40:36.637 --> 00:40:38.839 I'm glad this could be our first. 806 00:40:38.872 --> 00:40:40.207 It's more special that way. 807 00:40:41.675 --> 00:40:43.944 All right, I'm gonna make this a real quick and easy for you. 808 00:40:43.977 --> 00:40:46.246 I just have one simple request. 809 00:40:46.279 --> 00:40:48.849 You know those big bows that you put on cars? 810 00:40:50.017 --> 00:40:51.852 Is there any way I can get one of those? 811 00:41:00.894 --> 00:41:02.229 Just right on the top there. 812 00:41:03.664 --> 00:41:04.498 Maybe the front. 813 00:41:06.500 --> 00:41:08.802 We don't have those here. 814 00:41:10.737 --> 00:41:13.607 I think they only do those on TV commercials 815 00:41:13.640 --> 00:41:18.645 or on luxury cars, not on cars less than 10,000. 816 00:41:19.513 --> 00:41:23.216 Right, right, well Paul, 817 00:41:26.820 --> 00:41:28.522 I don't know what to tell you, man. 818 00:41:29.489 --> 00:41:30.657 I mean the car is great and all, 819 00:41:30.691 --> 00:41:34.227 but I really just want one of those bows. 820 00:41:37.431 --> 00:41:40.600 There's gotta be something that you can do for me. 821 00:41:46.807 --> 00:41:47.607 Come on Paul. 822 00:41:51.211 --> 00:41:55.215 Look out folks, just a sexy guy driving on through. 823 00:42:08.729 --> 00:42:09.930 I like your sunglasses daddy. 824 00:42:09.963 --> 00:42:11.331 Oh, thank you darling. 825 00:42:11.364 --> 00:42:13.233 Mom, can I wear my sunglasses? 826 00:42:13.266 --> 00:42:14.367 No sweetheart. 827 00:42:14.401 --> 00:42:15.902 But daddy is. 828 00:42:15.936 --> 00:42:18.371 That's because daddy's having a nervous breakdown. 829 00:42:18.405 --> 00:42:19.773 Oh, ha ha. 830 00:42:19.806 --> 00:42:21.007 What's a nervous breakdown? 831 00:42:21.041 --> 00:42:23.076 Don't worry about it, just eat. 832 00:42:23.110 --> 00:42:24.778 Truman, how in the world 833 00:42:24.811 --> 00:42:26.813 do you make such a big mess every time? 834 00:42:26.847 --> 00:42:27.681 - Come here. - Hey! 835 00:42:30.117 --> 00:42:31.685 - What? - That was mine! 836 00:42:31.718 --> 00:42:34.154 - Oh, I don't think so. - It was on my plate. 837 00:42:34.187 --> 00:42:35.956 - What was? - My roll. 838 00:42:35.989 --> 00:42:39.126 - What roll? - Hey, why did you do that? 839 00:42:39.159 --> 00:42:42.062 - I do what I want. - Don't worry Iris, 840 00:42:42.095 --> 00:42:43.497 I will get you another roll. 841 00:42:45.233 --> 00:42:46.767 But dad took mine. 842 00:42:46.800 --> 00:42:49.503 Because dad wanted that one. 843 00:42:49.536 --> 00:42:52.539 Don't worry, dad is gonna get in trouble for that one. 844 00:42:52.572 --> 00:42:54.274 - What? - Dad, don't have 845 00:42:54.307 --> 00:42:56.409 to be such a donkey dick. 846 00:42:56.443 --> 00:42:59.346 Whoa, who taught you that word? 847 00:42:59.379 --> 00:43:00.580 From you two. 848 00:43:00.614 --> 00:43:01.948 Okay, you can't say that word anymore. 849 00:43:01.982 --> 00:43:03.683 - Why not? - Because it's a really mean 850 00:43:03.717 --> 00:43:04.785 and bad word. 851 00:43:04.818 --> 00:43:06.453 Well then, don't take my roll. 852 00:43:07.988 --> 00:43:10.123 Fair enough, let's shake on it. 853 00:43:11.225 --> 00:43:13.059 Dad, do you wanna play with me? 854 00:43:13.093 --> 00:43:14.194 Not tonight, buddy. 855 00:43:14.228 --> 00:43:16.496 Tonight, I'm playing video games. 856 00:43:16.530 --> 00:43:17.430 Can I play? 857 00:43:17.464 --> 00:43:19.599 Nope, it's a grown up game. 858 00:43:19.633 --> 00:43:21.101 I can play a grown up game. 859 00:43:21.134 --> 00:43:23.904 No, no, no, this is just for me guys, maybe another time. 860 00:43:23.937 --> 00:43:25.372 - We want to play. - Uh uh. 861 00:43:25.405 --> 00:43:26.840 - We want to play. - You guys. 862 00:43:26.873 --> 00:43:28.675 - We want to play. - This is my night. 863 00:43:28.708 --> 00:43:31.444 - We want to play. - We want to play. 864 00:43:31.478 --> 00:43:32.379 - We want. - We want. 865 00:43:32.412 --> 00:43:33.647 Hi, what can I get ya? 866 00:43:33.680 --> 00:43:35.048 Hi, can I just get one double espresso. 867 00:43:35.081 --> 00:43:36.284 Sure thing. 868 00:43:36.316 --> 00:43:38.084 - Adam, one double espresso. - Yeah. 869 00:44:14.154 --> 00:44:15.989 Adam? 870 00:44:16.022 --> 00:44:17.691 Hello, Adam. 871 00:44:17.724 --> 00:44:20.727 Hello, are you there? 872 00:44:20.760 --> 00:44:22.829 - Hi! - Sydney, hey, 873 00:44:22.863 --> 00:44:26.199 what can I do for you? 874 00:44:26.234 --> 00:44:27.500 How did the morning go? 875 00:44:27.534 --> 00:44:29.237 Oh, it was good. 876 00:44:29.270 --> 00:44:30.770 A little crazy, but it was good. 877 00:44:30.804 --> 00:44:32.439 - Yeah? - Yeah. 878 00:44:32.472 --> 00:44:34.242 He messed up a lot. 879 00:44:34.275 --> 00:44:35.942 It's okay, he'll get it. 880 00:44:35.976 --> 00:44:37.644 I think we'll keep him. 881 00:44:38.778 --> 00:44:41.448 Oh boom, no soldier left behind. 882 00:44:47.255 --> 00:44:48.455 Are you okay? 883 00:44:48.488 --> 00:44:51.325 Yeah, I just didn't like that joke just now. 884 00:44:52.360 --> 00:44:54.561 Oh, sorry. 885 00:44:54.594 --> 00:44:56.096 No, it's not your fault. 886 00:44:56.129 --> 00:44:58.565 My dad was a soldier 887 00:44:58.598 --> 00:45:02.135 and he died overseas a few months ago so. 888 00:45:02.168 --> 00:45:03.103 Oh my gosh, 889 00:45:03.136 --> 00:45:06.106 I'm really sorry. 890 00:45:06.139 --> 00:45:07.540 I should not have said that. 891 00:45:08.508 --> 00:45:12.012 I got you so good. 892 00:45:12.045 --> 00:45:13.347 Wait, that was a joke? 893 00:45:13.381 --> 00:45:14.814 You're too easy, man. 894 00:45:14.848 --> 00:45:17.851 Dude, dead dad joke, not cool. 895 00:45:17.884 --> 00:45:20.553 But really, how did the morning rush go? 896 00:45:20.587 --> 00:45:23.257 Well you know, I did learn something pretty big today. 897 00:45:23.291 --> 00:45:24.991 - Yeah? - Yeah, you would be alarmed 898 00:45:25.025 --> 00:45:26.426 and I'm talking alarmed 899 00:45:26.459 --> 00:45:28.662 about how many guys use the restroom 900 00:45:28.695 --> 00:45:30.063 and don't wash their hands. 901 00:45:30.096 --> 00:45:31.498 No, no, no, no, 902 00:45:31.531 --> 00:45:32.666 you would be surprised 903 00:45:32.699 --> 00:45:34.734 at how many girls don't wash their hands. 904 00:45:34.768 --> 00:45:36.370 - Really? - Really. 905 00:45:36.404 --> 00:45:38.205 I mean, guys are generally so gross. 906 00:45:38.239 --> 00:45:39.706 I expect more from the girls. 907 00:45:39.739 --> 00:45:41.242 No. 908 00:45:41.275 --> 00:45:42.842 You know, the no washers are definitely disgusting, 909 00:45:42.876 --> 00:45:44.778 but I think I found something worse today. 910 00:45:44.811 --> 00:45:47.480 - What? - The over washer. 911 00:45:47.514 --> 00:45:49.182 So I went to the restroom, right? 912 00:45:49.216 --> 00:45:54.120 And there was a fellow employee who will remain unnamed 913 00:45:54.154 --> 00:45:55.555 and he was doing his pee pee time. 914 00:45:55.588 --> 00:45:57.258 And then he goes to wash his hands. 915 00:45:57.291 --> 00:45:59.893 I go do my pee pee time and then I go wash my hands. 916 00:45:59.926 --> 00:46:01.828 He's still there washing his hands mind you, 917 00:46:01.861 --> 00:46:03.496 which isn't really a big deal. 918 00:46:03.530 --> 00:46:05.899 I wash my hands for the normal amount of time 919 00:46:05.932 --> 00:46:06.733 for washing your hands. 920 00:46:06.766 --> 00:46:08.269 Which is? 921 00:46:08.302 --> 00:46:11.838 Which is singing happy birthday, generally that timeframe. 922 00:46:11.871 --> 00:46:13.407 Okay, go on. 923 00:46:13.441 --> 00:46:18.346 Anyway, so I finish up and Todd is still scrubbing away 924 00:46:18.379 --> 00:46:20.513 and I'm just like what happened over there? 925 00:46:20.547 --> 00:46:22.916 Like he was leaving a crime scene at the urinal? 926 00:46:22.949 --> 00:46:25.085 Yeah, like what did you touch in your nether regions 927 00:46:25.118 --> 00:46:27.821 to justify that much hand-washing? 928 00:46:27.854 --> 00:46:30.324 Stop being a bully. 929 00:46:30.358 --> 00:46:33.227 I will be doing orders in the back if you need me. 930 00:46:45.572 --> 00:46:47.274 All right kids, it's time to go. 931 00:46:51.644 --> 00:46:54.315 At least try to clean up around here or something? 932 00:46:55.349 --> 00:46:57.351 Love you guys, have fun today. 933 00:46:58.518 --> 00:47:00.920 I'm really not happy with the choices 934 00:47:00.954 --> 00:47:02.756 that you're making right now. 935 00:47:02.789 --> 00:47:04.325 Love you too hun. 936 00:47:04.358 --> 00:47:06.793 I wanna stay home with daddy and have fun. 937 00:47:06.826 --> 00:47:09.896 Oh, but then it wouldn't be fun anymore. 938 00:47:09.929 --> 00:47:10.930 All right kids, let's go. 939 00:47:10.964 --> 00:47:12.766 Let's go get in the car. 940 00:47:12.799 --> 00:47:13.700 Okay. 941 00:47:13.733 --> 00:47:14.934 Come on, time to get in the car. 942 00:47:14.968 --> 00:47:16.437 Time to go 943 00:47:16.470 --> 00:47:17.904 Let's go you stinker. 944 00:47:53.441 --> 00:47:55.443 Dude, I can't shake this girl. 945 00:47:55.476 --> 00:47:56.343 The manager girl? 946 00:47:56.377 --> 00:47:57.844 Yeah, it's weird. 947 00:47:57.877 --> 00:48:00.046 I've never had feelings for anyone other than Jen. 948 00:48:00.080 --> 00:48:01.915 And now I already feel like I'm cheating on her. 949 00:48:01.948 --> 00:48:03.716 Dude, it is no big deal. 950 00:48:03.750 --> 00:48:06.220 It's just like I can't stop thinking about her. 951 00:48:07.421 --> 00:48:09.423 I feel like I'm in high school again. 952 00:48:09.457 --> 00:48:11.157 Like that time you tried to kiss Becky 953 00:48:11.191 --> 00:48:13.026 while she was in the middle of taking a test? 954 00:48:13.059 --> 00:48:16.096 No, no, this is more like in between the time I tried to ask out that deaf girl 955 00:48:16.129 --> 00:48:18.798 and the time I got broken up with one of my girlfriends in the skating room. 956 00:48:18.832 --> 00:48:21.569 Yeah, you look really, really cute. 957 00:48:26.373 --> 00:48:28.242 To this day, I haven't been skating. 958 00:48:28.275 --> 00:48:30.211 You need to get laid. 959 00:48:30.244 --> 00:48:32.446 - Stop it. - No, you know what I mean. 960 00:48:32.480 --> 00:48:34.047 You're too wound up and you know it. 961 00:48:34.080 --> 00:48:36.015 Look, I actually feel really good. 962 00:48:36.049 --> 00:48:37.650 This whole doing whatever I want thing 963 00:48:37.684 --> 00:48:38.918 is really working for me. 964 00:48:38.952 --> 00:48:40.720 - Well, I have an idea. - What? 965 00:48:40.753 --> 00:48:43.923 - Let's set you up on Tinder. - Tinder? 966 00:48:43.957 --> 00:48:46.726 Oh no, I am not ready for that. 967 00:48:46.759 --> 00:48:48.895 Come on man, this is all part of your idea. 968 00:48:48.928 --> 00:48:50.797 You got to test the waters, experiment? 969 00:48:50.830 --> 00:48:51.898 - No, no. - Hand your phone. 970 00:48:51.931 --> 00:48:53.166 - Matt. - Hand me your phone. 971 00:48:53.199 --> 00:48:55.201 - Okay Matt, come on. - Hand me your phone. 972 00:48:55.236 --> 00:48:56.736 - Dude. - Hand me your phone. 973 00:49:00.541 --> 00:49:01.641 This is your burner phone, right? 974 00:49:01.674 --> 00:49:03.109 My burner phone? 975 00:49:03.143 --> 00:49:04.711 Yeah, you can't have two lives with one phone. 976 00:49:04.744 --> 00:49:06.514 I have to have two phones now? 977 00:49:06.547 --> 00:49:08.449 How else do you think we're gonna do this 978 00:49:08.482 --> 00:49:09.483 without you getting caught? 979 00:49:09.517 --> 00:49:10.884 I don't even wanna do this. 980 00:49:10.917 --> 00:49:12.152 Okay, you know what? 981 00:49:12.185 --> 00:49:13.920 Take yours, we'll set up your Tinder account 982 00:49:13.953 --> 00:49:15.188 on my primary phone 983 00:49:15.222 --> 00:49:16.756 and then there's no way Jen will catch you. 984 00:49:16.789 --> 00:49:19.326 Okay yeah, this logic is riddled with reason. 985 00:49:19.360 --> 00:49:21.761 Smile! 986 00:49:21.794 --> 00:49:24.731 All right, now what is something interesting about you? 987 00:49:27.033 --> 00:49:29.736 Hey Connor, what is something interesting about me? 988 00:49:31.938 --> 00:49:32.772 I don't know. 989 00:49:33.907 --> 00:49:36.843 Okay. 990 00:49:37.877 --> 00:49:40.481 Hello, oh hey. 991 00:49:41.814 --> 00:49:43.983 Wait, you have a violin recital already? 992 00:49:44.984 --> 00:49:47.288 Oh, are you excited? 993 00:49:48.522 --> 00:49:49.557 You are so awesome. 994 00:49:50.990 --> 00:49:53.760 No sorry, I can't make it. 995 00:49:53.793 --> 00:49:57.964 Yeah, daddy's got to work even at night pumpkin. 996 00:49:59.333 --> 00:50:01.067 All right, all right, you're gonna kill it though. 997 00:50:01.100 --> 00:50:02.001 You do good. 998 00:50:02.902 --> 00:50:05.406 Love you, bye bye. 999 00:50:07.807 --> 00:50:09.075 Lying to your kids now? 1000 00:50:10.477 --> 00:50:12.045 Okay, so what happens next? 1001 00:50:12.078 --> 00:50:13.581 What are you doing? 1002 00:50:13.614 --> 00:50:15.449 Scrolling through people's profiles and clicking like. 1003 00:50:15.482 --> 00:50:16.983 Wait, do they know you're doing that? 1004 00:50:17.016 --> 00:50:19.152 Yeah, it sends them notification. 1005 00:50:19.185 --> 00:50:20.654 Okay well, I wanna see. 1006 00:50:20.688 --> 00:50:22.755 Oh no, no, no, no, no, no, you are no good at this. 1007 00:50:22.789 --> 00:50:24.658 You can't even come up with the top five celebrity list. 1008 00:50:24.692 --> 00:50:26.527 Okay well, if I'm supposed to like these people, 1009 00:50:26.560 --> 00:50:28.262 I at least should pick them, yeah? 1010 00:50:29.729 --> 00:50:31.532 Okay, but I get to hold the phone. 1011 00:50:32.765 --> 00:50:37.770 Fine, okay no, no. 1012 00:50:38.838 --> 00:50:40.374 Her nose is too big. 1013 00:50:40.407 --> 00:50:43.677 - What? - No, no, no, pass that one. 1014 00:50:43.711 --> 00:50:46.879 Okay no, too much makeup, my goodness. 1015 00:50:46.913 --> 00:50:48.047 That's a low hairline. 1016 00:50:49.516 --> 00:50:51.418 Nope, oh no, nope. 1017 00:50:52.386 --> 00:50:53.420 No, swipe, no. 1018 00:50:54.688 --> 00:50:56.590 Oh, her eyebrows are so close together. 1019 00:50:56.624 --> 00:50:58.091 She's cute. 1020 00:50:58.124 --> 00:51:01.262 Quasimodo, pass, pass. 1021 00:51:01.295 --> 00:51:02.296 Oh, hello buck teeth. 1022 00:51:02.329 --> 00:51:03.530 Okay, come on man. 1023 00:51:03.564 --> 00:51:04.565 - What? - You're saying no 1024 00:51:04.598 --> 00:51:05.798 to every girl. 1025 00:51:05.832 --> 00:51:08.369 Well, yeah, 'cause they're not right. 1026 00:51:09.769 --> 00:51:11.672 How did you even get one girl to fall in love with you? 1027 00:51:11.705 --> 00:51:15.141 - What is that supposed to mean? - It means you're being too picky that's what it means. 1028 00:51:15.174 --> 00:51:16.410 It means that you don't even understand 1029 00:51:16.443 --> 00:51:17.645 what a beautiful girl looks like. 1030 00:51:17.678 --> 00:51:19.613 Look at this girl, she's gotta to be what, 1031 00:51:19.647 --> 00:51:20.780 an eight at least? 1032 00:51:20.813 --> 00:51:22.249 I don't like her haircut. 1033 00:51:22.283 --> 00:51:24.551 You're not gonna be bone storming her hair cut. 1034 00:51:24.585 --> 00:51:26.387 Well, if that's how she takes care of the upstairs, 1035 00:51:26.420 --> 00:51:28.021 who knows what the downstairs looks like? 1036 00:51:28.054 --> 00:51:29.556 Sometimes that's a good thing. 1037 00:51:29.590 --> 00:51:32.158 It's good to explore some creative downstairs. 1038 00:51:32.191 --> 00:51:33.694 No, no, no, no, no, no. 1039 00:51:33.727 --> 00:51:35.194 You know what, 1040 00:51:35.229 --> 00:51:36.563 you couldn't have gotten a match with her anyways. 1041 00:51:36.597 --> 00:51:40.933 Oh okay, okay yeah, go ahead and like that one. 1042 00:51:40.967 --> 00:51:42.436 I'll show you. 1043 00:51:42.469 --> 00:51:46.806 Like it, or swipe, or push the yes I want this button. 1044 00:51:47.974 --> 00:51:51.578 - Just tell her yes, come on. - Liked. 1045 00:51:53.681 --> 00:51:57.150 Goodness, so what happens next? 1046 00:51:58.619 --> 00:52:00.654 Well next, you wait to see if you're lucky enough 1047 00:52:00.688 --> 00:52:03.424 for her to give you a like and then you have a match. 1048 00:52:03.457 --> 00:52:04.824 Don't worry about it. 1049 00:52:04.857 --> 00:52:07.093 I'll start some conversations, get you a date or two. 1050 00:52:08.295 --> 00:52:09.929 This actually could be a lot of fun. 1051 00:52:09.962 --> 00:52:11.632 Well, I'm glad that my love life just brings you 1052 00:52:11.665 --> 00:52:13.400 so much entertainment. 1053 00:52:13.434 --> 00:52:14.735 It really does. 1054 00:52:14.768 --> 00:52:16.270 It's kind of like a video game or something. 1055 00:52:16.303 --> 00:52:17.604 All right, I gotta go. 1056 00:52:18.806 --> 00:52:20.574 Oh hey, I should head out with you. 1057 00:52:20.607 --> 00:52:22.842 I got a third date with this chick tonight. 1058 00:52:22.875 --> 00:52:24.611 I'm hoping tonight's gonna be the night, 1059 00:52:24.645 --> 00:52:26.413 a little bone storming. 1060 00:52:26.447 --> 00:52:29.216 Dude, how do you keep lying to your wife and getting away with it? 1061 00:52:29.249 --> 00:52:30.718 I don't know. 1062 00:52:38.592 --> 00:52:41.127 Betty White. 1063 00:52:53.273 --> 00:52:54.708 Hello, beautiful. 1064 00:53:00.247 --> 00:53:01.013 I love it. 1065 00:53:03.717 --> 00:53:04.685 She'll like it. 1066 00:53:18.164 --> 00:53:19.899 I think you've arrived. 1067 00:53:21.235 --> 00:53:22.436 What are you talking about? 1068 00:53:22.469 --> 00:53:24.137 You're a full on millennial, bro. 1069 00:53:25.171 --> 00:53:26.273 You think so? 1070 00:53:26.306 --> 00:53:28.174 Only one thing left to do. 1071 00:53:28.208 --> 00:53:29.343 What? 1072 00:53:29.376 --> 00:53:31.345 You gotta give Sydney the old naked hug. 1073 00:53:32.780 --> 00:53:34.615 Dude no, I can't. 1074 00:53:34.648 --> 00:53:36.949 Come on, years from now, 1075 00:53:36.983 --> 00:53:39.653 you don't wanna tell your kids you went part millennial. 1076 00:53:39.686 --> 00:53:41.789 You wanna go full millennial. 1077 00:53:41.822 --> 00:53:45.426 Carpe diem, just do it, the time is now baby! 1078 00:53:45.459 --> 00:53:47.761 Yeah, rousing speech Shakespeare. 1079 00:53:47.795 --> 00:53:49.897 Okay, then just go on a date with her. 1080 00:53:49.929 --> 00:53:52.800 No, I'll still feel like a majorly cheating on Jen. 1081 00:53:52.833 --> 00:53:54.835 Think about it this way, 1082 00:53:54.868 --> 00:53:56.904 it's not like you're taking another job. 1083 00:53:56.936 --> 00:53:58.839 It's just like you're going on an interview. 1084 00:54:02.676 --> 00:54:03.510 So you'll do it? 1085 00:54:04.912 --> 00:54:06.680 - Okay, perfect. - Wait dude, 1086 00:54:06.713 --> 00:54:08.282 what are you doing? 1087 00:54:09.316 --> 00:54:11.919 - Hey Mikayla, right? - Sydney. 1088 00:54:11.951 --> 00:54:12.853 Oh, that's what I meant. 1089 00:54:12.886 --> 00:54:14.120 Yeah look, my name's Matt. 1090 00:54:14.153 --> 00:54:15.722 I think you know my friend Adam, right? 1091 00:54:15.756 --> 00:54:16.757 I think so. 1092 00:54:16.790 --> 00:54:17.990 Okay look, I'm trying 1093 00:54:18.024 --> 00:54:19.192 to set up this little double date thing 1094 00:54:19.226 --> 00:54:20.461 I'm not that good at planning though. 1095 00:54:20.494 --> 00:54:21.662 I'm wondering if you wanted to come over 1096 00:54:21.695 --> 00:54:23.129 and maybe we could figure something out? 1097 00:54:23.162 --> 00:54:24.298 I guess I could. 1098 00:54:24.331 --> 00:54:25.332 Cool, come on over. 1099 00:54:25.365 --> 00:54:26.800 - I'll follow your lead. - Okay. 1100 00:54:30.771 --> 00:54:33.172 So, double date huh? 1101 00:54:35.809 --> 00:54:37.711 Is your wing man gonna be doing all the talking 1102 00:54:37.744 --> 00:54:38.846 for you as well? 1103 00:54:38.879 --> 00:54:40.347 Whoa, I'm not actually gonna be going, 1104 00:54:40.380 --> 00:54:42.683 our buddy Connor is gonna go with your friend. 1105 00:54:44.150 --> 00:54:48.020 Well, tell your friend that I will see him there at seven. 1106 00:54:48.054 --> 00:54:50.257 Oh and maybe make him some flash cards 1107 00:54:50.290 --> 00:54:52.693 so he has something to say. 1108 00:54:52.726 --> 00:54:53.894 Right, right, right. 1109 00:54:53.927 --> 00:54:55.229 Dude, you got a date with your crush, 1110 00:54:55.262 --> 00:54:56.396 but you can't screw this one up 1111 00:54:56.430 --> 00:54:57.898 'cause it's work romance too 1112 00:54:57.931 --> 00:54:59.800 and that could look bad for everyone. 1113 00:54:59.833 --> 00:55:02.034 - Dude, why aren't you gonna be there? - All part of the plan my man. 1114 00:55:02.068 --> 00:55:03.537 See with Connor there, 1115 00:55:03.570 --> 00:55:05.973 you are gonna look like a knight in shining armor. 1116 00:55:06.005 --> 00:55:10.644 Odd dates, why, why, why! 1117 00:55:19.185 --> 00:55:21.989 Is that gonna be me if the date doesn't go well? 1118 00:55:22.021 --> 00:55:23.790 I think your break's about done. 1119 00:55:23.824 --> 00:55:24.925 Yeah, yeah. 1120 00:55:34.868 --> 00:55:35.969 Where are you going? 1121 00:55:36.937 --> 00:55:38.739 Out with the guys. 1122 00:55:38.772 --> 00:55:41.708 Well, since you seem to be making all the decisions 1123 00:55:41.742 --> 00:55:43.544 for us, do you wanna tell me 1124 00:55:43.577 --> 00:55:45.379 how we're gonna pay for these bills? 1125 00:55:47.381 --> 00:55:49.449 I don't know, take it out of our savings. 1126 00:55:49.483 --> 00:55:50.384 What savings? 1127 00:55:52.386 --> 00:55:54.288 Let's pay with a credit card. 1128 00:55:54.321 --> 00:55:57.056 Okay, I consider myself to be a pretty chill wife 1129 00:55:57.089 --> 00:55:58.825 and I hate how I'm turning into a nag. 1130 00:55:58.859 --> 00:55:59.993 Well then, don't nag. 1131 00:56:01.929 --> 00:56:03.397 I feel like I have to. 1132 00:56:03.430 --> 00:56:05.966 We have a responsibility to provide for our children, 1133 00:56:05.999 --> 00:56:07.568 something which you seem to have forgotten about. 1134 00:56:07.601 --> 00:56:09.670 You know what, I got another job 1135 00:56:09.703 --> 00:56:11.204 so we should be able to make it work. 1136 00:56:11.238 --> 00:56:13.206 Right, minimum wage plus tips. 1137 00:56:13.240 --> 00:56:14.708 Yeah, doesn't quite cut it. 1138 00:56:14.741 --> 00:56:17.311 I am sorry I finally found something that I enjoy doing. 1139 00:56:17.344 --> 00:56:20.047 All right, well this little experiment 1140 00:56:20.079 --> 00:56:21.515 is putting a strain on things. 1141 00:56:21.548 --> 00:56:24.051 Nope, and this is no longer an experiment dear. 1142 00:56:24.083 --> 00:56:25.986 I actually enjoy being a millennial. 1143 00:56:26.019 --> 00:56:28.755 Yeah, you like it because you get to do whatever the hell you want. 1144 00:56:28.789 --> 00:56:29.923 And what's wrong with that? 1145 00:56:29.957 --> 00:56:31.858 You made a decision to have a family 1146 00:56:31.892 --> 00:56:34.093 and I hate to break it to you, but you don't get to do 1147 00:56:34.126 --> 00:56:36.162 what you want all the time for forever. 1148 00:56:36.195 --> 00:56:37.664 Sure I can. 1149 00:56:37.698 --> 00:56:39.566 I married you because you had your head on straight. 1150 00:56:39.600 --> 00:56:43.503 You were patient and you were mature and loving and selfless 1151 00:56:43.537 --> 00:56:46.105 which are tremendous attributes for a father and a husband. 1152 00:56:46.138 --> 00:56:47.574 And this whole new outlook 1153 00:56:47.608 --> 00:56:49.476 that you have can only go so far before you have 1154 00:56:49.509 --> 00:56:50.711 to make a big decision. 1155 00:56:50.744 --> 00:56:51.979 Oh, what's that? 1156 00:56:52.012 --> 00:56:53.413 If you wanna keep your family or not. 1157 00:57:09.496 --> 00:57:10.330 Oh yeah. 1158 00:57:12.833 --> 00:57:14.034 Dude, you're disgusting. 1159 00:57:14.067 --> 00:57:16.536 What, I gotta eat or else I'm gonna get sick. 1160 00:57:16.570 --> 00:57:18.872 And if I get sick, none of us are gonna have a good time. 1161 00:57:18.905 --> 00:57:20.240 I already feel sick. 1162 00:57:20.273 --> 00:57:22.109 No, you're just nervous and it's okay. 1163 00:57:22.141 --> 00:57:24.211 I mean, I was nervous the first time too when you know. 1164 00:57:24.244 --> 00:57:25.712 Dude, I'm not nervous sick, 1165 00:57:25.746 --> 00:57:27.146 I actually just don't feel good. 1166 00:57:27.179 --> 00:57:29.383 And you realize this isn't my first time right? 1167 00:57:29.416 --> 00:57:31.418 I've been married for 10 years and I have two kids. 1168 00:57:31.451 --> 00:57:33.787 You don't have to throw your accomplishments in my face. 1169 00:57:33.820 --> 00:57:35.522 - Why did you wear that stupid shirt? - It's not a stupid shirt. 1170 00:57:35.555 --> 00:57:37.324 You're a stupid shirt. 1171 00:57:37.357 --> 00:57:38.258 You want some? 1172 00:57:38.291 --> 00:57:39.993 No, we're about to eat dinner. 1173 00:57:45.365 --> 00:57:47.934 - Hello ladies. - Hello. 1174 00:57:47.968 --> 00:57:49.069 This is Keira. 1175 00:57:49.102 --> 00:57:50.404 - Hi. - Hi Keira 1176 00:57:50.437 --> 00:57:53.240 This is Connor. 1177 00:57:53.273 --> 00:57:55.142 Okay, I guess we'll sit down. 1178 00:57:57.611 --> 00:58:01.415 So, can we get you ladies anything to drink? 1179 00:58:01.448 --> 00:58:03.417 Sure, that'd be nice. 1180 00:58:03.450 --> 00:58:05.952 Neither of you are like wishy-washy fems, right? 1181 00:58:09.256 --> 00:58:10.624 You know, like there's hardcore feminists 1182 00:58:10.657 --> 00:58:11.858 that are all about equal rights, 1183 00:58:11.892 --> 00:58:13.192 but then there's the wishy-washy ones. 1184 00:58:13.226 --> 00:58:14.728 What's the difference? 1185 00:58:14.761 --> 00:58:17.030 Okay well, the wishy-washys are fighting for equal rights 1186 00:58:17.064 --> 00:58:19.366 but they also expect traditional chivalry on dates. 1187 00:58:19.399 --> 00:58:21.868 You know, like opening doors and paying for the meals or something like that. 1188 00:58:21.902 --> 00:58:23.370 I'm just like, you're trying to have the best 1189 00:58:23.403 --> 00:58:25.939 of both worlds and you can't have it both ways. 1190 00:58:25.972 --> 00:58:27.708 We're fine paying for our half. 1191 00:58:27.741 --> 00:58:28.909 Oh good, thanks. 1192 00:58:30.010 --> 00:58:32.713 No, I was actually just kidding. 1193 00:58:33.947 --> 00:58:36.049 Just making a stupid observation. 1194 00:58:36.083 --> 00:58:37.150 He does that a lot. 1195 00:58:37.984 --> 00:58:39.419 I can't help it. 1196 00:58:39.453 --> 00:58:40.787 There's just a lot of stupid things to observe. 1197 00:58:43.090 --> 00:58:45.726 Well, what about me? 1198 00:58:46.727 --> 00:58:48.295 Is anything stupid about me? 1199 00:58:50.664 --> 00:58:53.500 Nope, no, there's nothing stupid about you. 1200 00:58:53.533 --> 00:58:58.138 You're just beautiful, and smart, and funny and good. 1201 00:59:00.974 --> 00:59:02.342 So what about you Connor? 1202 00:59:04.811 --> 00:59:06.379 What do you wanna know? 1203 00:59:06.413 --> 00:59:08.982 I'm just trying to get to know you a little bit. 1204 00:59:09.015 --> 00:59:11.852 Well, what would you like to know? 1205 00:59:12.919 --> 00:59:15.188 - What do you do for work? - Fine, go ahead and ask that. 1206 00:59:15.223 --> 00:59:16.723 Excuse me? 1207 00:59:16.757 --> 00:59:20.360 Jeez, what's with all the vague what you do questions? 1208 00:59:20.393 --> 00:59:21.762 Get to the point Karen. 1209 00:59:21.795 --> 00:59:23.130 Oh my God. 1210 00:59:23.163 --> 00:59:24.364 Keira, he is a joke. 1211 00:59:24.397 --> 00:59:26.099 We're just gonna head to the little boy's room 1212 00:59:26.133 --> 00:59:27.467 and freshen up okay? 1213 00:59:27.501 --> 00:59:28.468 That's disgusting, we don't need 1214 00:59:28.502 --> 00:59:29.870 to know about your details. 1215 00:59:29.903 --> 00:59:31.071 I'm talking about me and you buddy. 1216 00:59:31.104 --> 00:59:32.005 Oh no, I'm good. 1217 00:59:32.038 --> 00:59:33.440 Okay, we'll be right back. 1218 00:59:37.043 --> 00:59:38.645 Dude, what the hell are you doing out there? 1219 00:59:38.678 --> 00:59:41.515 Relax, it's a part of my strategy. 1220 00:59:41.548 --> 00:59:43.583 Your strategy is to berate them. 1221 00:59:43.617 --> 00:59:45.452 No, no, no, no, no, I'm not gonna rape her. 1222 00:59:45.485 --> 00:59:47.521 Oh my God, no berate, berate. 1223 00:59:47.554 --> 00:59:49.322 Look, I act like I don't care, 1224 00:59:49.356 --> 00:59:50.991 like I'm not interested in her 1225 00:59:51.024 --> 00:59:53.227 and it makes her want me even more. 1226 00:59:53.261 --> 00:59:55.729 So the more act like I don't want her, 1227 00:59:55.762 --> 00:59:57.197 then she's gonna love it. 1228 00:59:57.231 --> 00:59:59.933 I'm like, I don't want her, but then she wants this. 1229 00:59:59.966 --> 01:00:02.969 Dude, you're taking it too far all right> 1230 01:00:03.003 --> 01:00:04.604 - Okay, fine. - Tone it down. 1231 01:00:06.072 --> 01:00:08.708 Oh my God, I think I gotta shit. 1232 01:00:08.742 --> 01:00:10.410 My goodness, my stomach hurts so bad. 1233 01:00:10.443 --> 01:00:12.045 See, you should've ate before we came. 1234 01:00:12.078 --> 01:00:15.582 Shut the hell, get out there and make nice, all right? 1235 01:00:15.615 --> 01:00:17.551 Stop being such a doofus. 1236 01:00:17.584 --> 01:00:18.618 Did you just flick me? 1237 01:00:18.652 --> 01:00:19.486 Get out there. 1238 01:00:31.531 --> 01:00:32.332 What? 1239 01:00:37.537 --> 01:00:38.738 Son of a bitch! 1240 01:00:48.448 --> 01:00:50.083 Son of a bitch! 1241 01:00:50.116 --> 01:00:51.451 What's your dog's name? 1242 01:00:51.484 --> 01:00:52.552 Felix. 1243 01:00:52.586 --> 01:00:55.289 - That's quite the name. - I know. 1244 01:00:59.826 --> 01:01:02.429 Okay, so they seem to be getting along a lot better. 1245 01:01:03.663 --> 01:01:05.932 I ordered for you, I hope that's okay. 1246 01:01:05.966 --> 01:01:08.034 Oh yeah, what'd you get me? 1247 01:01:08.068 --> 01:01:09.337 Pig's feet. 1248 01:01:09.369 --> 01:01:10.537 Oh really? 1249 01:01:10.570 --> 01:01:11.938 Yeah, the waiter says they're really good 1250 01:01:11.972 --> 01:01:13.307 so I just went with it. 1251 01:01:19.713 --> 01:01:21.548 Tell me about yourself, 1252 01:01:21.581 --> 01:01:23.284 something that's not work-related? 1253 01:01:24.150 --> 01:01:27.387 Well, I'm from Michigan 1254 01:01:27.420 --> 01:01:29.522 and I still have a sister that's back there 1255 01:01:29.556 --> 01:01:31.091 with my mom and dad. 1256 01:01:31.124 --> 01:01:33.526 Okay, why did you move out here? 1257 01:01:33.560 --> 01:01:35.595 I wanted to new experiences. 1258 01:01:35.629 --> 01:01:39.966 I like mixing things up you know, keeping life interesting. 1259 01:01:40.000 --> 01:01:43.803 Plus Michigan is a bit of a hole, 1260 01:01:43.837 --> 01:01:46.039 like a hell frozen over kind of hole. 1261 01:01:47.774 --> 01:01:48.575 Why? 1262 01:01:49.976 --> 01:01:52.479 The town I'm from, people just, I don't know, 1263 01:01:52.512 --> 01:01:55.649 they stayed the same as they were in high school. 1264 01:01:55.682 --> 01:01:57.351 Not a lot of growth or change 1265 01:01:57.385 --> 01:02:00.086 and I guess I just realized 1266 01:02:00.120 --> 01:02:01.289 that I wanted to explore life 1267 01:02:01.322 --> 01:02:04.491 and I want different places around the world 1268 01:02:04.524 --> 01:02:06.459 to help shape who I am. 1269 01:02:10.630 --> 01:02:12.766 Lately, I kind of feel like I've gotten 1270 01:02:12.799 --> 01:02:15.403 into like just a rut. 1271 01:02:17.271 --> 01:02:20.073 My life is just the same routine 1272 01:02:20.106 --> 01:02:23.043 like all my other high school friends back home. 1273 01:02:23.076 --> 01:02:24.412 Yeah, you have. 1274 01:02:26.046 --> 01:02:27.647 Okay, how would you know that? 1275 01:02:29.015 --> 01:02:31.718 You have kept everything safe and consistent. 1276 01:02:31.751 --> 01:02:33.186 I'll have you know 1277 01:02:33.220 --> 01:02:35.889 that I was quite the party animal back in my day. 1278 01:02:35.922 --> 01:02:37.358 - Oh really? - Hmm hmm. 1279 01:02:37.391 --> 01:02:39.960 All right guys, who's flexible? 1280 01:02:39.993 --> 01:02:43.697 I got not one but two games of twister. 1281 01:02:43.730 --> 01:02:46.233 You eat the same thing for lunch every day. 1282 01:02:46.267 --> 01:02:49.337 Okay, so you're keeping tabs on my lunches now? 1283 01:02:49.370 --> 01:02:50.170 What can I say? 1284 01:02:50.203 --> 01:02:51.171 I'm a lunch stalker. 1285 01:02:53.673 --> 01:02:56.344 Gosh, I envy you. 1286 01:02:57.278 --> 01:02:58.078 How so? 1287 01:02:59.579 --> 01:03:04.117 You're just carefree and you do whatever you want. 1288 01:03:04.985 --> 01:03:06.119 Life is short. 1289 01:03:06.152 --> 01:03:07.887 I mean, do what makes you happy right? 1290 01:03:09.556 --> 01:03:10.724 What makes you happy? 1291 01:03:14.362 --> 01:03:17.298 New experiences, exploring, 1292 01:03:18.665 --> 01:03:19.699 meeting new people. 1293 01:03:21.901 --> 01:03:25.772 What I love most of all is doing things I'm afraid of. 1294 01:03:27.974 --> 01:03:29.042 That is so awesome. 1295 01:03:31.445 --> 01:03:33.713 That's disgusting. 1296 01:03:33.747 --> 01:03:36.217 Oh, you're serious. 1297 01:03:36.250 --> 01:03:37.351 I'm sorry, no, no, no. 1298 01:03:37.385 --> 01:03:38.252 You weren't supposed to see that. 1299 01:03:38.285 --> 01:03:39.487 Keira, what's wrong? 1300 01:03:39.519 --> 01:03:41.489 He has pictures of his poop on his phone. 1301 01:03:44.392 --> 01:03:45.658 Wow, gross. 1302 01:03:45.692 --> 01:03:48.094 Yeah, he does actually have those. 1303 01:03:48.128 --> 01:03:48.962 Come on Syd. 1304 01:03:50.096 --> 01:03:52.032 Reschedule, I guess? 1305 01:03:52.065 --> 01:03:52.899 Yeah. 1306 01:03:55.969 --> 01:03:56.803 Cool. 1307 01:03:58.905 --> 01:04:03.009 Everybody poops, it was a little nugget like a little nut. 1308 01:04:03.043 --> 01:04:04.878 - Dude! - I didn't show the big stuff. 1309 01:04:04.911 --> 01:04:08.282 - Oh my God! - It's okay, you want a roll? 1310 01:04:09.350 --> 01:04:11.551 - No. - There's a lot of them left. 1311 01:04:14.355 --> 01:04:16.689 I think we should all have crowns on, don't you? 1312 01:04:16.723 --> 01:04:18.292 - Hmm hmm. - No, you don't want a crown? 1313 01:04:18.325 --> 01:04:20.261 - Hmm hmm. - Look I think they're... 1314 01:04:20.294 --> 01:04:21.194 What are those? 1315 01:04:21.228 --> 01:04:22.296 They're eating giant fruit, 1316 01:04:22.329 --> 01:04:24.465 - that's almost the size- - Giant pears. 1317 01:04:34.508 --> 01:04:35.708 - Hey. - Hey. 1318 01:04:35.742 --> 01:04:37.610 Sorry, my roommate's sleeping. 1319 01:04:37.644 --> 01:04:38.446 Let's go over here. 1320 01:04:38.479 --> 01:04:39.313 Oh sorry. 1321 01:04:41.881 --> 01:04:42.715 What's up? 1322 01:04:43.983 --> 01:04:46.920 I just wanted to apologize. 1323 01:04:46.953 --> 01:04:50.990 That is not how I wanted this date to go. 1324 01:04:51.024 --> 01:04:53.327 It's fine, it's not your fault. 1325 01:04:53.360 --> 01:04:55.095 And Keira's just a bit overdramatic. 1326 01:04:55.128 --> 01:04:59.132 - So everyone poops. - Exactly. 1327 01:04:59.165 --> 01:05:01.801 I mean, just not everyone takes pictures of it. 1328 01:05:02.969 --> 01:05:04.505 Right, right, yeah. 1329 01:05:05.772 --> 01:05:09.809 I am sorry about my friend. 1330 01:05:09.843 --> 01:05:12.078 Connor can be a real tool sometimes. 1331 01:05:13.646 --> 01:05:16.749 I really wanted to go on a proper date with you. 1332 01:05:16.783 --> 01:05:17.617 Me too. 1333 01:05:26.993 --> 01:05:27.827 I should go. 1334 01:05:29.095 --> 01:05:30.331 You don't have to. 1335 01:05:30.364 --> 01:05:33.666 I mean, you could stay or whatever. 1336 01:05:40.740 --> 01:05:41.875 I should probably go. 1337 01:06:01.362 --> 01:06:04.231 Are you sure you don't wanna stay? 1338 01:06:04.265 --> 01:06:05.599 You can come in. 1339 01:06:11.639 --> 01:06:13.440 No, I'll just catch you later. 1340 01:06:16.876 --> 01:06:17.710 Okay. 1341 01:11:03.297 --> 01:11:05.332 How long have I been gone? 1342 01:11:05.365 --> 01:11:06.867 Too long I guess. 1343 01:11:12.104 --> 01:11:14.875 Is this just some scare tactic? 1344 01:11:15.776 --> 01:11:17.277 This is math. 1345 01:11:17.311 --> 01:11:19.713 We can't even afford next month's mortgage payment. 1346 01:11:26.986 --> 01:11:28.020 Where are the kids? 1347 01:11:29.823 --> 01:11:30.657 At my mom's. 1348 01:11:32.091 --> 01:11:33.293 We'll stay there 1349 01:11:33.327 --> 01:11:34.895 for a while until we can find a smaller place. 1350 01:11:39.399 --> 01:11:40.901 Is there room for me there? 1351 01:11:42.636 --> 01:11:43.470 Not currently. 1352 01:11:48.542 --> 01:11:52.312 Look, I can get another job 1353 01:11:54.248 --> 01:11:56.884 or maybe try to get my old job back. 1354 01:11:59.253 --> 01:12:00.787 If you're not happy with me and the kids, 1355 01:12:00.821 --> 01:12:02.656 what's the point of dragging this out? 1356 01:12:06.693 --> 01:12:09.128 Don't you think you're rushing into this a bit? 1357 01:12:11.532 --> 01:12:13.233 Iris was devastated when you didn't show up 1358 01:12:13.267 --> 01:12:15.101 to her violin recital. 1359 01:12:15.134 --> 01:12:16.537 She cried a lot. 1360 01:12:16.570 --> 01:12:17.771 You made your daughter cry 1361 01:12:17.804 --> 01:12:20.106 because you just want her to go out and play. 1362 01:12:20.139 --> 01:12:21.608 You used to be there and you're just not anymore. 1363 01:12:21.642 --> 01:12:23.142 And I don't wanna fight with you. 1364 01:12:23.175 --> 01:12:24.645 I don't wanna argue with you. 1365 01:12:27.079 --> 01:12:29.283 I wanna do what's best for the kids. 1366 01:12:29.316 --> 01:12:32.486 And I can't live with this behavior as a pattern. 1367 01:12:37.357 --> 01:12:39.259 It looks like I screwed this one up. 1368 01:12:46.567 --> 01:12:47.768 Care if I take these? 1369 01:12:51.738 --> 01:12:53.740 Whatever you want Adam. 1370 01:13:12.726 --> 01:13:14.761 Hey sorry it's so early. 1371 01:13:15.796 --> 01:13:16.964 I thought you were... 1372 01:13:18.565 --> 01:13:19.600 Is everything okay? 1373 01:13:20.767 --> 01:13:23.904 No, I wouldn't say everything's okay. 1374 01:13:24.838 --> 01:13:27.240 Well, what's going on? 1375 01:13:28.342 --> 01:13:30.744 You knew about it before I did. 1376 01:13:30.777 --> 01:13:31.712 So you tell me? 1377 01:13:38.619 --> 01:13:41.021 How did you find out? 1378 01:13:41.054 --> 01:13:43.189 Found a message in one of his phones. 1379 01:13:47.794 --> 01:13:50.731 Look Maddie, I am sorry. 1380 01:13:50.764 --> 01:13:51.665 That I found out 1381 01:13:53.199 --> 01:13:54.768 or that I've been cheated on. 1382 01:13:57.704 --> 01:13:59.873 It looks like we're headed towards divorce. 1383 01:14:01.308 --> 01:14:04.411 Matt doesn't even seem to care that he hurt me or the kids. 1384 01:14:04.444 --> 01:14:06.780 He told me he was glad he was caught. 1385 01:14:06.813 --> 01:14:08.849 Look, Maddie he- 1386 01:14:08.882 --> 01:14:10.751 - That bastard could do whatever the hell he wants. 1387 01:14:14.021 --> 01:14:15.555 I hope you know what you're doing. 1388 01:14:15.589 --> 01:14:17.057 Dude, I know what I'm doing. 1389 01:14:17.090 --> 01:14:18.792 There's this little chica that I met the other night. 1390 01:14:18.825 --> 01:14:20.027 It worked out well. 1391 01:14:20.060 --> 01:14:22.329 Do you wanna make some old fashions for dinner, 1392 01:14:22.362 --> 01:14:23.463 make a night of it? 1393 01:14:23.497 --> 01:14:24.398 You need to slow down. 1394 01:14:24.431 --> 01:14:26.165 Hey Adam, come on in buddy. 1395 01:14:26.198 --> 01:14:27.401 You didn't text us back 1396 01:14:27.434 --> 01:14:28.769 so we weren't sure if you were coming. 1397 01:14:29.870 --> 01:14:30.971 What is this? 1398 01:14:31.004 --> 01:14:32.105 We're celebrating. 1399 01:14:42.382 --> 01:14:45.852 Hey man, I actually just came from your house. 1400 01:14:45.886 --> 01:14:47.087 Ah, yeah, yeah, yeah. 1401 01:14:47.120 --> 01:14:50.824 Marriage is over, I'm finally free so come on. 1402 01:14:52.025 --> 01:14:53.794 What are you gonna do about your kids? 1403 01:14:55.629 --> 01:14:56.530 I don't know. 1404 01:14:56.563 --> 01:14:58.632 Maddie will just keep 'em. 1405 01:15:01.702 --> 01:15:04.304 Hey man, I actually really like Maddie. 1406 01:15:06.073 --> 01:15:08.575 You don't know what the hell you're doing. 1407 01:15:08.608 --> 01:15:12.112 I mean, she's okay but now I can do whatever I want 1408 01:15:12.145 --> 01:15:14.181 so we're celebrating. 1409 01:15:19.986 --> 01:15:20.987 You're an asshole. 1410 01:15:24.691 --> 01:15:28.729 And you guys, you're assholes for doing whatever this is 1411 01:15:28.762 --> 01:15:30.330 and I'm an asshole. 1412 01:15:37.337 --> 01:15:40.574 I can't believe I actually wanted this. 1413 01:15:44.010 --> 01:15:45.213 We're hurting people. 1414 01:15:47.681 --> 01:15:50.317 People that we should care about the most. 1415 01:15:50.350 --> 01:15:51.852 And yeah, I can't. 1416 01:17:01.021 --> 01:17:03.224 Adam, haven't seen you for a while. 1417 01:17:06.227 --> 01:17:09.563 Yeah, yeah that's basically why I'm here. 1418 01:17:10.730 --> 01:17:12.266 What can I help you with? 1419 01:17:16.304 --> 01:17:19.606 Well, I don't really have anybody to turn to 1420 01:17:19.639 --> 01:17:23.311 and I basically need some advice. 1421 01:17:24.177 --> 01:17:25.111 Of course. 1422 01:17:30.550 --> 01:17:34.020 So it looks like prepentance doesn't really work. 1423 01:17:38.091 --> 01:17:41.728 I did all of these things that I knew were wrong 1424 01:17:41.761 --> 01:17:45.932 and now I just feel worse than I ever have. 1425 01:17:47.901 --> 01:17:49.636 My wife already wants to leave me 1426 01:17:50.971 --> 01:17:55.108 and I just feel like a terrible person. 1427 01:17:58.279 --> 01:18:01.349 So what do I do? 1428 01:18:02.283 --> 01:18:05.219 - Repentance. - Repentance? 1429 01:18:05.253 --> 01:18:07.988 Repentance, go fix everything. 1430 01:18:08.021 --> 01:18:10.457 Go make amends as best you can. 1431 01:18:10.490 --> 01:18:14.628 Say sorry to all those you offended, especially your wife. 1432 01:18:17.831 --> 01:18:22.836 So it's almost like repentance for prepentance. 1433 01:18:24.905 --> 01:18:27.407 Let's just drop the prepentance term, okay? 1434 01:18:27.440 --> 01:18:31.077 Fair enough, thanks Father. 1435 01:18:33.247 --> 01:18:34.748 See you at church on Sunday? 1436 01:18:38.319 --> 01:18:41.187 Yeah, yeah, I'll be there. 1437 01:19:30.203 --> 01:19:33.173 Hello everyone, this is my first time 1438 01:19:38.346 --> 01:19:42.148 and probably my last time going live. 1439 01:19:48.356 --> 01:19:52.125 Well, the thing is I'm actually going live 1440 01:19:52.158 --> 01:19:53.927 but this message is actually only 1441 01:19:53.960 --> 01:19:57.231 for my wife and my kids so. 1442 01:19:58.732 --> 01:20:01.835 Oh wow, hey Jake. 1443 01:20:04.204 --> 01:20:05.739 Thumbs up to you too Shelly. 1444 01:20:07.907 --> 01:20:10.543 Okay, I can see why people do this. 1445 01:20:14.581 --> 01:20:17.017 Anyways, a couple months ago, 1446 01:20:21.654 --> 01:20:25.592 I decided to be a jerk. 1447 01:20:30.930 --> 01:20:32.266 I was feeling trapped 1448 01:20:32.299 --> 01:20:37.304 and feeling like I didn't have my own life 1449 01:20:41.375 --> 01:20:43.810 or that I was doing anything that was just for me. 1450 01:20:47.981 --> 01:20:52.353 I did some pretty wrong things. 1451 01:20:54.187 --> 01:20:55.722 The grass isn't always greener. 1452 01:20:59.326 --> 01:21:00.960 The grass is actually luscious green 1453 01:21:00.994 --> 01:21:02.195 with my family 1454 01:21:02.229 --> 01:21:06.800 and I temporarily lost sight of that. 1455 01:21:11.272 --> 01:21:15.209 Jen, if you're watching this, 1456 01:21:19.079 --> 01:21:19.979 I'm really sorry. 1457 01:21:24.851 --> 01:21:27.754 And I hope that you can forgive me 1458 01:21:30.291 --> 01:21:34.361 and that you can give me the chance to try 1459 01:21:34.395 --> 01:21:37.063 and earn your love and respect again. 1460 01:21:38.932 --> 01:21:42.369 I promise that I will be a better husband 1461 01:21:43.803 --> 01:21:48.608 and father than I was before this whole experiment of mine. 1462 01:21:52.745 --> 01:21:53.547 I love you. 1463 01:22:39.792 --> 01:22:42.463 So you just don't like it? 1464 01:22:42.496 --> 01:22:43.631 Yeah, it isn't me. 1465 01:22:45.865 --> 01:22:47.834 I don't really know what we can do. 1466 01:22:47.867 --> 01:22:51.539 I've never had someone try to return a car before. 1467 01:22:51.572 --> 01:22:53.374 Well, you've also never had someone buy a car 1468 01:22:53.407 --> 01:22:54.941 from you before. 1469 01:22:54.974 --> 01:22:56.743 A lot of firsts between you and me. 1470 01:23:00.113 --> 01:23:02.115 Would you want another car? 1471 01:23:02.148 --> 01:23:03.651 I think I'll just take my old car back 1472 01:23:03.683 --> 01:23:04.684 if that's okay with you. 1473 01:23:07.555 --> 01:23:09.989 My father-in-law's gonna be so flipping PO'd. 1474 01:23:14.328 --> 01:23:19.333 Wait, if I sell you your old car back 1475 01:23:20.767 --> 01:23:23.304 that still counts as a sale, right? 1476 01:23:23.337 --> 01:23:27.006 Well, look at you growing all up. 1477 01:23:27.040 --> 01:23:29.343 All right, so why don't you sell me my car 1478 01:23:29.376 --> 01:23:31.144 for the same price I sold it to you for, 1479 01:23:31.177 --> 01:23:33.247 and then I'll return this new car 1480 01:23:33.280 --> 01:23:35.549 for a slightly less price. 1481 01:23:35.583 --> 01:23:36.417 Seem fair? 1482 01:23:37.251 --> 01:23:38.452 Boy, I'll say. 1483 01:23:38.485 --> 01:23:41.388 All right, put it here buddy, yeah! 1484 01:23:42.956 --> 01:23:44.258 Hey, your shoe's untied. 1485 01:24:00.173 --> 01:24:01.741 Oh, I've missed you. 1486 01:24:19.493 --> 01:24:22.829 Oh Fluffy! 1487 01:24:24.498 --> 01:24:29.503 That is just one curious little critter. 1488 01:24:33.274 --> 01:24:35.108 Oh, I can't believe. 1489 01:24:44.884 --> 01:24:46.819 Yeah, I don't think he's coming back. 1490 01:24:54.728 --> 01:24:58.931 Maybe you could you do like a little service or something? 1491 01:25:14.748 --> 01:25:16.049 I'm gonna go. 1492 01:25:18.885 --> 01:25:20.321 Have a good day guys. 1493 01:25:22.456 --> 01:25:23.923 I'm sorry about that. 1494 01:25:41.974 --> 01:25:45.546 - Hey. - Hey. 1495 01:25:49.182 --> 01:25:54.187 I was thinking that we should talk about last week. 1496 01:25:55.556 --> 01:25:57.725 Yeah, that might be good. 1497 01:26:00.093 --> 01:26:04.631 Yeah, so I shouldn't have done that, kissed you, I mean. 1498 01:26:11.438 --> 01:26:13.873 Oh yeah, I mean probably not a good idea 1499 01:26:13.906 --> 01:26:15.342 to dip in the company ink. 1500 01:26:16.909 --> 01:26:19.246 Right, yeah, yeah that too. 1501 01:26:21.415 --> 01:26:22.583 What do you mean? 1502 01:26:22.616 --> 01:26:23.916 What? 1503 01:26:23.950 --> 01:26:26.754 - What's the too? - The too? 1504 01:26:26.787 --> 01:26:29.155 Yeah, I said it's not good for co-workers to date 1505 01:26:29.188 --> 01:26:31.325 and you said, "Yeah, that too." 1506 01:26:31.358 --> 01:26:32.326 I'm not following, I'm sorry? 1507 01:26:32.359 --> 01:26:33.594 What's your too? 1508 01:26:33.627 --> 01:26:35.729 The other reason why we shouldn't hook up? 1509 01:26:37.664 --> 01:26:39.400 You know, if you're gonna dump me like a child, 1510 01:26:39.433 --> 01:26:41.200 then at least give me the truth like an adult. 1511 01:26:41.235 --> 01:26:42.935 Okay, I didn't dump you like a child. 1512 01:26:42.969 --> 01:26:46.005 Really I mean, called in sick, avoided me for three days. 1513 01:26:46.038 --> 01:26:47.940 And every time you went to the bathroom, 1514 01:26:47.974 --> 01:26:50.844 you'd go outside around the back corner just 1515 01:26:50.878 --> 01:26:52.346 to avoid passing my desk. 1516 01:26:52.379 --> 01:26:55.081 Okay, so now you're keeping tabs on my bathroom habits? 1517 01:26:55.114 --> 01:26:56.417 Yeah, I'm a pee stalker. 1518 01:26:58.918 --> 01:27:00.587 Come on, just tell me, okay? 1519 01:27:00.621 --> 01:27:02.222 It's cool, we're gonna be fine. 1520 01:27:02.256 --> 01:27:03.357 It was just a kiss. 1521 01:27:08.295 --> 01:27:12.366 So you remember that woman I came in with? 1522 01:27:12.399 --> 01:27:13.233 Yeah. 1523 01:27:14.601 --> 01:27:19.606 So she is my wife. 1524 01:27:30.183 --> 01:27:31.117 You're married? 1525 01:27:35.856 --> 01:27:39.793 Wow, you're married and you didn't tell me? 1526 01:27:40.761 --> 01:27:42.362 Yeah, yeah. 1527 01:27:42.396 --> 01:27:43.963 You know, that's a pretty messed up situation 1528 01:27:43.996 --> 01:27:45.131 to put me in, right? 1529 01:27:46.132 --> 01:27:47.166 Wait, what? 1530 01:27:47.200 --> 01:27:48.335 You made me an adulterer. 1531 01:27:48.368 --> 01:27:50.237 No, no, no, no, you're not an adulterer. 1532 01:27:50.270 --> 01:27:52.306 Well, at least an accomplice to adultery. 1533 01:27:52.339 --> 01:27:54.441 You made me the other woman Adam. 1534 01:27:54.475 --> 01:27:56.042 Okay, but it was just a kiss. 1535 01:27:56.075 --> 01:27:57.377 It wasn't even a big deal. 1536 01:27:57.411 --> 01:27:59.413 Yeah, a kiss is no big deal, but with a married man 1537 01:27:59.446 --> 01:28:00.814 that's totally different. 1538 01:28:00.848 --> 01:28:04.150 Okay, okay yeah, I am really sorry. 1539 01:28:05.117 --> 01:28:06.787 Have you told your wife? 1540 01:28:07.888 --> 01:28:10.290 Not exactly. 1541 01:28:11.425 --> 01:28:13.293 Okay, you're a total piece of shit. 1542 01:28:14.728 --> 01:28:18.130 Yeah, yeah, I am aware and I actually agree with you. 1543 01:28:20.901 --> 01:28:22.669 My dad cheated on my mom 1544 01:28:22.703 --> 01:28:25.405 and then left us to be with his new girlfriend. 1545 01:28:25.439 --> 01:28:27.674 I don't have a lot of respect for cheaters. 1546 01:28:29.710 --> 01:28:33.914 Well, at least your dad is still alive right? 1547 01:28:36.984 --> 01:28:40.320 You know, like the joke about your dad being dead? 1548 01:28:41.889 --> 01:28:44.358 Speaking of death, I actually killed a cat today. 1549 01:28:46.727 --> 01:28:50.230 Choose your moments Adam, you're fired. 1550 01:28:50.264 --> 01:28:51.130 Yeah, I got it. 1551 01:28:52.900 --> 01:28:56.303 Oh, nice shot. 1552 01:29:11.952 --> 01:29:14.788 - Hey man. - What's up? 1553 01:29:14.821 --> 01:29:16.122 Security lets you in here? 1554 01:29:17.089 --> 01:29:18.190 Yeah, I snuck in. 1555 01:29:19.326 --> 01:29:20.994 Ratchett will be pissed if he sees you. 1556 01:29:21.028 --> 01:29:22.729 Yeah, I think he'll come around. 1557 01:29:24.798 --> 01:29:28.502 Hey, I wanted to talk to you about the other day. 1558 01:29:28.535 --> 01:29:29.937 I got nothing. 1559 01:29:29.970 --> 01:29:33.307 Okay yeah, all right look, it's on me, all right? 1560 01:29:33.340 --> 01:29:34.173 It's all on me. 1561 01:29:35.976 --> 01:29:38.312 I want to apologize 1562 01:29:38.345 --> 01:29:42.549 for attacking you on your special day. 1563 01:29:42.583 --> 01:29:45.419 Dude, you just used bunny ears on my special day. 1564 01:29:45.452 --> 01:29:47.086 That can't possibly mean you're sorry. 1565 01:29:47.119 --> 01:29:51.258 I'm sorry, I realized I don't respect your decision. 1566 01:29:51.291 --> 01:29:54.093 Oh, you're knocking this apology out of the party slugger. 1567 01:29:54.126 --> 01:29:56.463 What works for you just doesn't work for me, 1568 01:29:57.331 --> 01:29:59.566 but hey, I'll always love you. 1569 01:30:03.135 --> 01:30:06.138 Thanks, but this is what I want. 1570 01:30:07.574 --> 01:30:12.579 Yeah, yeah, this is your path and I can't join you on it. 1571 01:30:13.614 --> 01:30:14.615 It's your thing. 1572 01:30:14.648 --> 01:30:16.249 It's definitely not mine. 1573 01:30:18.885 --> 01:30:20.186 I totally kissed Syd. 1574 01:30:20.220 --> 01:30:23.023 - Shut up! - Yeah. 1575 01:30:23.056 --> 01:30:23.857 What the hell? 1576 01:30:23.890 --> 01:30:25.092 Tell me about it. 1577 01:30:25.124 --> 01:30:26.326 I mean, there's nothing to say. 1578 01:30:26.360 --> 01:30:28.127 I just went to her place after the date 1579 01:30:28.160 --> 01:30:30.030 and it kinda just happened. 1580 01:30:30.063 --> 01:30:31.231 How was it? 1581 01:30:31.264 --> 01:30:33.300 I mean, it was pretty good I guess. 1582 01:30:33.333 --> 01:30:34.334 Anything else? 1583 01:30:34.368 --> 01:30:36.503 No, no, I told her I had to go. 1584 01:30:36.536 --> 01:30:37.371 A little chug though? 1585 01:30:37.404 --> 01:30:38.338 - Oh my gosh. - Yes? 1586 01:30:38.372 --> 01:30:39.573 Maybe a little. 1587 01:30:39.606 --> 01:30:41.074 Things were changing down there. 1588 01:30:41.108 --> 01:30:44.444 But the point is, it was very quick and it was wrong. 1589 01:30:44.478 --> 01:30:46.913 And I felt terrible. 1590 01:30:46.947 --> 01:30:47.914 You're crazy, man. 1591 01:30:49.116 --> 01:30:50.117 You have a black eye? 1592 01:30:51.418 --> 01:30:53.253 Did you tell Jennifer? 1593 01:30:53.286 --> 01:30:57.090 No, no, no, this is Syd. 1594 01:30:57.124 --> 01:30:59.726 She didn't know I was married and just. 1595 01:30:59.760 --> 01:31:02.863 Oh, that's hilarious. 1596 01:31:02.896 --> 01:31:04.698 So that means you're unemployed now? 1597 01:31:05.832 --> 01:31:08.635 No, actually I got my old job back. 1598 01:31:08.669 --> 01:31:11.004 Please, please, please, please, please, please, please 1599 01:31:11.038 --> 01:31:13.006 please, please, please, please, please, please, please 1600 01:31:13.040 --> 01:31:15.776 please, please, please, please, please, please, please 1601 01:31:15.809 --> 01:31:17.878 please, please, please, please, please, please, please 1602 01:31:17.911 --> 01:31:21.415 please, please, please, please, please. 1603 01:31:21.448 --> 01:31:24.151 Wait, so are you going to tell Jen? 1604 01:31:24.183 --> 01:31:28.422 Well yeah, yeah, I'm taking care 1605 01:31:28.455 --> 01:31:29.790 of my other mistakes first. 1606 01:31:29.823 --> 01:31:31.858 And I'm saving the big one for last. 1607 01:31:31.892 --> 01:31:33.160 - Dude come on. - What? 1608 01:31:34.061 --> 01:31:34.928 Don't woos out, 1609 01:31:34.961 --> 01:31:36.730 go tell her right now. 1610 01:31:36.763 --> 01:31:37.664 Right now? 1611 01:31:37.698 --> 01:31:39.900 Right now man, right now. 1612 01:31:39.933 --> 01:31:41.768 Come on, you said it yourself, 1613 01:31:41.802 --> 01:31:44.771 you're better than me, right? 1614 01:31:44.805 --> 01:31:46.206 Yeah. 1615 01:31:46.239 --> 01:31:48.308 Go make sure you save your family. 1616 01:31:50.277 --> 01:31:52.145 - All right, okay. - Go! 1617 01:31:52.179 --> 01:31:53.113 - All right. - Go! 1618 01:31:53.146 --> 01:31:54.715 Yes all right, thank you, yes. 1619 01:31:56.149 --> 01:31:57.551 Do you accept my apology? 1620 01:32:00.153 --> 01:32:01.488 - Yeah. - Hmm hmm. 1621 01:32:04.758 --> 01:32:06.960 I love you both so much. 1622 01:32:06.993 --> 01:32:09.763 You're coming to my next violin recital, right? 1623 01:32:09.796 --> 01:32:12.632 I won't miss it for anything. 1624 01:32:12.666 --> 01:32:14.701 Okay, hey buddy. 1625 01:32:14.735 --> 01:32:17.003 I gotta go talk to your mom, okay. 1626 01:32:17.037 --> 01:32:18.138 - Okay. - You guys can stay 1627 01:32:18.171 --> 01:32:19.940 in here for a minute? 1628 01:32:19.973 --> 01:32:21.074 - Hmm hmm. - Hmm hmm. 1629 01:32:21.108 --> 01:32:22.309 I gotta go apologize. 1630 01:32:22.342 --> 01:32:23.243 - Okay. - Okay. 1631 01:32:23.276 --> 01:32:24.311 All right, love you guys. 1632 01:32:24.344 --> 01:32:25.612 Love you too. 1633 01:32:37.390 --> 01:32:39.359 - Hey. - Hey. 1634 01:32:43.396 --> 01:32:45.298 What happened to your face. 1635 01:32:45.332 --> 01:32:48.769 Oh, millennialism. 1636 01:32:53.607 --> 01:32:54.775 I need to talk to you. 1637 01:32:54.808 --> 01:32:55.909 Yeah, I know. 1638 01:32:55.942 --> 01:32:56.743 I saw your live. 1639 01:32:59.546 --> 01:33:00.347 And? 1640 01:33:03.283 --> 01:33:04.384 It was really sweet. 1641 01:33:08.555 --> 01:33:09.389 But? 1642 01:33:12.425 --> 01:33:15.128 But actions speak louder than words. 1643 01:33:15.162 --> 01:33:19.366 Well, curiosity killed the cat, all right? 1644 01:33:21.568 --> 01:33:23.670 - I'm a cat, I got killed. - No, I get it. 1645 01:33:26.373 --> 01:33:31.378 Hey, I got my old job back. 1646 01:33:32.879 --> 01:33:34.314 And are you gonna be happy? 1647 01:33:35.849 --> 01:33:38.185 I'm happy knowing you and the kids are happy. 1648 01:33:39.486 --> 01:33:41.255 I know, but I want you to be happy. 1649 01:33:41.289 --> 01:33:42.689 I am, I am. 1650 01:33:42.722 --> 01:33:45.259 I was just in a funk. 1651 01:33:45.293 --> 01:33:47.228 Okay, okay, okay, come here. 1652 01:33:47.261 --> 01:33:48.595 Sit down please. 1653 01:33:52.300 --> 01:33:56.036 Listen, I'm gonna be honest. 1654 01:33:56.069 --> 01:33:58.338 Okay, I liked a lot 1655 01:33:58.371 --> 01:34:00.974 of the changes I made over this last month or so. 1656 01:34:01.007 --> 01:34:03.076 It was really fun to do whatever I wanted. 1657 01:34:04.811 --> 01:34:07.315 But then, I had a breakthrough 1658 01:34:08.548 --> 01:34:13.086 and I realized that it's not worth it. 1659 01:34:14.754 --> 01:34:16.890 I realized that doing what I wanted would just end 1660 01:34:16.923 --> 01:34:20.994 with me being alone and I don't wanna be alone. 1661 01:34:22.429 --> 01:34:24.998 I don't wanna be without you and the kids, I don't. 1662 01:34:27.133 --> 01:34:31.339 I want things just to go back to the way they were, okay? 1663 01:34:31.371 --> 01:34:35.408 But, this time I want complete honesty, 1664 01:34:35.442 --> 01:34:38.378 just everything out on the table 100%. 1665 01:34:39.512 --> 01:34:44.218 So I have something that I need to. 1666 01:34:52.592 --> 01:34:57.597 I sort of cheated on you. 1667 01:34:58.198 --> 01:34:59.432 Okay, that's it. 1668 01:34:59.466 --> 01:35:01.067 It was just a kiss, nothing else. And I put an end to it. 1669 01:35:01.101 --> 01:35:02.502 It's completely over, okay. 1670 01:35:02.535 --> 01:35:03.503 Never again, honey. 1671 01:35:05.705 --> 01:35:07.507 I'm so sorry, I'm sorry. 1672 01:35:10.710 --> 01:35:14.915 Wow, I think it was the right thing to tell me. 1673 01:35:21.521 --> 01:35:23.156 I'm so sorry, honey. 1674 01:35:24.557 --> 01:35:26.693 I mean, I can only imagine how you're feeling right now. 1675 01:35:28.962 --> 01:35:31.431 Honestly, I feel a little bit relieved. 1676 01:35:31.464 --> 01:35:33.600 I mean, so the thing is, 1677 01:35:35.001 --> 01:35:37.570 I've been cheating on you for the last few years 1678 01:35:37.604 --> 01:35:39.539 but it was more than kissing. 1679 01:35:46.846 --> 01:35:49.749 I thought we were just being honest with each other. 1680 01:35:51.419 --> 01:35:53.220 Can you say something? 1681 01:35:53.254 --> 01:35:55.555 Just say something. 1682 01:35:55.588 --> 01:35:56.790 Are we gonna be okay? 1683 01:36:01.528 --> 01:36:03.029 Can you say something? 1684 01:36:06.766 --> 01:36:10.003 What the f- 1685 01:39:56.729 --> 01:39:59.132 I'm really sorry, okay? 1686 01:39:59.165 --> 01:40:00.401 But we can't see each other anymore. 1687 01:40:00.434 --> 01:40:02.236 I need to focus on my marriage. 1688 01:40:05.406 --> 01:40:06.773 But I really like you. 1689 01:40:06.806 --> 01:40:07.707 I know 1690 01:40:07.740 --> 01:40:08.942 Like in a lust kind of way. 1691 01:40:08.975 --> 01:40:10.678 I thought it was- 1692 01:40:10.710 --> 01:40:12.712 - I mean love maybe but. 1693 01:40:12.745 --> 01:40:14.548 Did you say in a less kind of way? 1694 01:40:14.582 --> 01:40:15.616 Like in a lust. 1695 01:40:15.649 --> 01:40:16.550 - Oh, lust? - Yeah. 1696 01:40:16.584 --> 01:40:18.319 Yeah, I'm very aware of that. 1697 01:40:18.352 --> 01:40:19.719 I'm very in lust with you.