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Downloaded from
YTS.MX

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♪

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Official YIFY movies site:
YTS.MX

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♪

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So this is just a weight.

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- You just drop it down, okay?
- Okay.

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♪

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- Hi.
- Hi!

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- Welcome, it's good to see you.
- Good to see you too.

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Thanks for joining us, sit down.

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- Thank you for having me.
- Yeah.

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Well, as you may have been told,

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we're going to do
a series of questions

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but very conversational,
very simple.

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- Let's do it.
- Okay.

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What would you like to know
about this project?

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Well,
I guess first and foremost,

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you know, what even
made you wanna leave

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the corporate world
and you know,

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leap into the world
of filmmaking

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and making a documentary?

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This is obviously a huge change,

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so you know, what made you
want to do that?

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Well, you know,
after 20-plus years

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of being a successful
vice president

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in a large national corporation,

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I was... it was the clock
that did it.

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You go through
this inventory of your life

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and all the things
you wish you had tried.

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I've always wanted to do film.

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If I was ever going
to do anything in film,

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- it needed to be very quickly.
- Yeah.

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I didn't have another
20 years or who knows.

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One of the themes
of this whole film

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is about storytelling

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and how important
storytelling is

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so that we learn from the people
that tell stories to us.

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A lot of the stories
that I see coming from women

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are young women who are blogging

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or something like that online.

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I see a lot of those.

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But I haven't seen
too many older women.

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Women who are, you know, over 60

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I don't know where I would...
I mean, I could probably

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Google one of their stories.

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So you don't see it
in front of you?

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- No, no.
- Yeah.

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I mean yeah, I think
it would be really cool

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to see more older women
putting their stories

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out there through the internet
or social media.

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I mean, that would
definitely be something

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I would be interested in seeing.

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And I think a certain sense
of like wisdom and insight

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into situations would be lost
without those stories.

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The whole idea with this project

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was to bring those
women's voices to the forefront

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and bring them
in front of people

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who might be
kind of shocked to hear

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what it is that they're doing

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and how old they are.

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And then,
maybe prompt them to go find

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some other women to speak with.

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You know, that are older.

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Storytelling takes on
different levels

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and, you know, different
parameters all the time.

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It's so much more
of a connection

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to the bigger world,

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and the connection
becomes greater

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when different people
share their stories.

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So thus,
the Beyond Sixty Project.

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♪

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♪

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We did not live near anyone.

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We were in a very isolated area.

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The nearest neighbor
was about a mile away.

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♪

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Everyone kind of cooperated
with everyone else

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back in that day and age.

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Back then,
we looked out for each other.

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♪

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Forgiveness is the key

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to any tragedy
or any misunderstanding

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or misfortune that you encounter
in your lifetime.

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♪

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Everyone labeled him
as being strange,

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different,

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not normal,

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and then I learned,
after three or four days,

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that this person had
a real mental illness problem.

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♪

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On May 11th, 1966,

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I was leaving the high school
around 3:15,

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arrived at the entrance
to my home

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at the bottom of the lane

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somewhat between
4:00 and 4:15.

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And shortly after
getting off the bus,

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about 200 or 30 feet
from the bus stop,

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I was approached by a man
who came out of the bank

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on the left-hand side
from behind a tree.

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He had a mask and he had
a sawed-off shotgun.

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He grabbed me by the neck and
he pointed the gun to the kids

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and he said,
"You're mine, I'm taking you.

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Tell them little bastards
to leave

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or they're all
gonna die right here."

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And he grabbed me by the neck

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and drove me
into the woods with him.

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♪

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That's women, women's history.

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That's all women.

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Women, women, women.

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That's a lot of women stuff.

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Some business.

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And I, you know, as the girl...

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I mean, I don't know
that this is...

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This is not necessarily true,

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but I think
in a lot of families,

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it's the women
who are the keepers

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of the family story.

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Um, newspapers, photographs.

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So, you know,
I have a lot of stuff,

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but it's, you know,
that's why I'm never writing

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another biography
like this again,

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'cause I can't
go through this again.

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But this is sort of the mission,
you know.

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This is the mission.

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♪

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I started knowing
who these ladies were

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before I knew their name.

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I was born in Chicago.

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We moved to Indianapolis,

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which is where both
of my parents had grown up.

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So I was three years old.

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So we're in this apartment

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and it's my grandmother's room,

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and I just remember,
as a little girl,

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that I would go in that bedroom

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and there were
ostrich-feather fans

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and opera glasses
and photographs

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and you know,
the Shalimar perfume

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that my grandmother wore
was still infused

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in the fabrics
that were in the drawers.

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And we had the silverware

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that had Madam Walker's monogram

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was the silverware
that we used every day

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and the china
for special occasions.

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So I knew about Madam Walker

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but it was kind of
a larger-than-life figure.

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And in some ways, a little bit
of a burden for a kid,

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because there were
some people who'd say,

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"Oh, you think
you're this and that

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00:07:53,771 --> 00:07:55,177
because of Madam Walker"
and I'm like,

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I don't even really know
what that means.

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And so, I didn't
really embrace it,

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and my mother, who had grown up
with everybody

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identifying her in that way,

156
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didn't want that
to be a burden to me

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and so didn't make it
a big deal.

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So we didn't sit around
the table

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telling Madam Walker stories.

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She wanted us to follow
our own dreams,

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and my passion was writing.

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Something that
I sort of gotten the bug

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when I was eight years old,

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and they really supported that.

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♪

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I still was kind of ambivalent
about Madam Walker honestly,

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because this was
the era of afros

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and not straightening your hair,

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and there were many people
who identified Madam Walker

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as the women who invented
the straightening comb

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who wanted to make
Black people look white.

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So I was like,
I don't really know

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that I want to deal with that.

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For me,
the irony is that I ended up

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telling the Madam Walker story

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after many years
as a journalist.

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♪

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I think that
the number one responsibility

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you have to yourself,
you know, in this lifetime,

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00:09:13,147 --> 00:09:16,753
however long that may be
none of us know, right,

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00:09:16,788 --> 00:09:19,822
is to get in touch
with the things

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that really inspire you
and make you happy.

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♪

184
00:09:26,160 --> 00:09:31,834
I'm not sure what led me to art
specifically,

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I feel like it was
something inside of me

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00:09:33,772 --> 00:09:35,904
that just was always there.

187
00:09:35,939 --> 00:09:40,106
But I also got,
when I was later in high school,

188
00:09:40,141 --> 00:09:43,307
involved and had an interest
in medicine.

189
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I think my dad was like,
"Oh, you know, I know

190
00:09:46,048 --> 00:09:48,389
you love art but you should be
doing something more practical."

191
00:09:48,413 --> 00:09:49,984
I was like, all right.

192
00:09:50,019 --> 00:09:53,383
Honestly,
I'd go to microbiology class

193
00:09:53,418 --> 00:09:54,989
and my head would be spinning.

194
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But then at a certain point
I was just like,

195
00:09:57,125 --> 00:10:00,324
I really wanna pursue art,

196
00:10:00,359 --> 00:10:03,261
and I remember having
this conversation with my mom.

197
00:10:03,296 --> 00:10:05,208
She was like, "Look, if that's
what you really wanna do,

198
00:10:05,232 --> 00:10:09,806
you know, I support you,
I'll talk to your father."

199
00:10:09,841 --> 00:10:12,039
Even though when she was young,

200
00:10:12,074 --> 00:10:14,008
what she really wanted to do

201
00:10:14,043 --> 00:10:16,340
was she wanted to go
to medical school

202
00:10:16,375 --> 00:10:18,276
and become a doctor.

203
00:10:18,311 --> 00:10:23,116
And my grandmother, who was,
you know, also very interesting,

204
00:10:23,151 --> 00:10:25,283
she went to
Parsons School of Design

205
00:10:25,318 --> 00:10:28,319
and was in fashion,
the fashion world.

206
00:10:28,354 --> 00:10:32,389
When it came to my mother,
she sort of really pushed her

207
00:10:32,424 --> 00:10:35,766
into getting married
and having a family.

208
00:10:35,801 --> 00:10:39,297
The example of her
not really doing

209
00:10:39,332 --> 00:10:41,673
what she wanted to do

210
00:10:41,708 --> 00:10:45,039
was partially my inspiration

211
00:10:45,074 --> 00:10:48,746
to make sure that I always did
what I wanted to do.

212
00:10:48,781 --> 00:10:52,145
I think in my second year,
I took a sculpture class

213
00:10:52,180 --> 00:10:57,315
and I knew immediately
once I got involved in that

214
00:10:57,350 --> 00:10:59,053
that that's what
I wanted to be doing.

215
00:10:59,088 --> 00:11:00,824
♪

216
00:11:00,859 --> 00:11:02,353
When I was younger,

217
00:11:02,388 --> 00:11:05,191
there was a lot of messaging
about, you know,

218
00:11:05,226 --> 00:11:07,864
you need to be at this place

219
00:11:07,899 --> 00:11:09,030
by the time you're that age,

220
00:11:09,065 --> 00:11:10,075
or you need to be at that place

221
00:11:10,099 --> 00:11:12,165
by the time you're this age.

222
00:11:12,200 --> 00:11:13,375
I feel like when I was younger,

223
00:11:13,399 --> 00:11:16,301
I kind of sort of
bought into that.

224
00:11:16,336 --> 00:11:20,338
I really believe that

225
00:11:20,373 --> 00:11:22,747
there is no prescription

226
00:11:22,782 --> 00:11:24,375
for how to live your life,

227
00:11:24,410 --> 00:11:26,047
and if there were any times

228
00:11:26,082 --> 00:11:30,414
I was sort of sent down
a path to divert from that,

229
00:11:30,449 --> 00:11:32,482
it usually wasn't
of my own doing.

230
00:11:32,517 --> 00:11:33,824
It was someone saying, you know,

231
00:11:33,859 --> 00:11:35,287
you should do this or, you know,

232
00:11:35,322 --> 00:11:37,795
you can't be an artist,
you'll never make any money,

233
00:11:37,830 --> 00:11:39,225
what's the point of that?

234
00:11:39,260 --> 00:11:41,326
And, um...

235
00:11:41,361 --> 00:11:46,100
somehow, miraculously, I figured
out how to have it all.

236
00:11:56,079 --> 00:11:58,849
Women's voices tend
to be associated more with,

237
00:11:58,884 --> 00:12:03,216
you know, just giving
information and compassion,

238
00:12:03,251 --> 00:12:07,187
and so, we're associated
a lot with healthcare

239
00:12:07,222 --> 00:12:10,487
and, you know, fashion,
cosmetics, and things like that.

240
00:12:10,522 --> 00:12:13,930
And also, telephone systems,

241
00:12:13,965 --> 00:12:15,998
because traditionally,

242
00:12:16,033 --> 00:12:18,132
the operators were all female.

243
00:12:18,167 --> 00:12:21,366
When I was a kid,
that was my favorite toy.

244
00:12:21,401 --> 00:12:24,809
How ironic that I would
grow up to be the voice

245
00:12:24,844 --> 00:12:26,976
on millions of phone systems,

246
00:12:27,011 --> 00:12:28,846
when I used to
just play operator.

247
00:12:31,444 --> 00:12:33,180
♪

248
00:12:33,215 --> 00:12:35,545
I became
the original voice of Siri

249
00:12:35,580 --> 00:12:37,283
in a very mysterious way.

250
00:12:37,318 --> 00:12:40,352
In other words, I don't know.

251
00:12:40,387 --> 00:12:43,256
I had done some
digital voice recording

252
00:12:43,291 --> 00:12:46,864
for a big company
that became Nuance,

253
00:12:46,899 --> 00:12:50,032
an IVR company text-to-speech,

254
00:12:50,067 --> 00:12:53,035
and so I knew
that I was recording

255
00:12:53,070 --> 00:12:54,938
for some kind of phone system.

256
00:12:54,973 --> 00:12:56,280
At that time,
none of us could picture

257
00:12:56,304 --> 00:13:00,075
that the phone system
would be handheld,

258
00:13:00,110 --> 00:13:01,846
a tiny miniature computer

259
00:13:01,881 --> 00:13:04,046
that would interact with you.

260
00:13:04,081 --> 00:13:06,576
Actually, Apple came in
after the fact.

261
00:13:06,611 --> 00:13:08,545
You know, so...

262
00:13:08,580 --> 00:13:11,482
And I don't know whether
the original creators of Siri

263
00:13:11,517 --> 00:13:14,958
chose my voice
or whether Apple chose my voice.

264
00:13:14,993 --> 00:13:17,191
So that remains a mystery.

265
00:13:17,226 --> 00:13:21,030
The original recordings
were done in July of 2005.

266
00:13:21,065 --> 00:13:23,461
Four hours a day,
five days a week,

267
00:13:23,496 --> 00:13:27,102
and it's very tough
on the vocal cords

268
00:13:27,137 --> 00:13:31,139
in the sense that
it's not creative speaking

269
00:13:31,174 --> 00:13:34,076
and you don't change
the pitch or the tone

270
00:13:34,111 --> 00:13:37,915
or the timbre
or the pacing of your voice.

271
00:13:37,950 --> 00:13:39,983
Everything has to be
read the same.

272
00:13:40,018 --> 00:13:42,084
Everything has to be
read like this.

273
00:13:42,119 --> 00:13:43,217
You're reading like this

274
00:13:43,252 --> 00:13:45,857
and you have a director
and it's very...

275
00:13:45,892 --> 00:13:48,486
It's very controlled
and very restrictive.

276
00:13:48,521 --> 00:13:51,093
I found out
that I was the voice of Siri

277
00:13:51,128 --> 00:13:54,228
because a fellow voice actor
emailed me and said,

278
00:13:54,263 --> 00:13:56,494
"Hey, we're playing around
with his new iPhone,

279
00:13:56,529 --> 00:13:58,232
isn't this you?"

280
00:13:58,267 --> 00:14:00,003
So I went on the Apple site
and I listened

281
00:14:00,038 --> 00:14:02,467
and I said, "Yes."

282
00:14:02,502 --> 00:14:04,975
"Really?"
"Yes, that's me."

283
00:14:05,010 --> 00:14:06,372
So it was very surprising.

284
00:14:06,407 --> 00:14:08,506
On the one hand,
it was extremely flattering

285
00:14:08,541 --> 00:14:14,182
to have been chosen
to be that iconic app,

286
00:14:14,217 --> 00:14:16,085
and it was iconic
because it was the first

287
00:14:16,120 --> 00:14:18,417
concatenated voice
that sounded human

288
00:14:18,452 --> 00:14:20,584
and that was able
to interact with you.

289
00:14:20,619 --> 00:14:23,125
So it was definitely
an iconic thing.

290
00:14:23,160 --> 00:14:25,160
So that was very flattering

291
00:14:25,195 --> 00:14:28,394
and that part of it was great,

292
00:14:28,429 --> 00:14:33,465
but it's kind of disconcerting

293
00:14:33,500 --> 00:14:35,533
to hear your voice

294
00:14:35,568 --> 00:14:37,667
in a device like that

295
00:14:37,702 --> 00:14:40,076
that's on, you know,

296
00:14:40,111 --> 00:14:43,079
distributed to millions
and millions of people,

297
00:14:43,114 --> 00:14:46,544
and without you
really knowing about it.

298
00:14:46,579 --> 00:14:49,052
Because your voice
is very personal.

299
00:14:49,087 --> 00:14:51,252
Your voice is like your face

300
00:14:51,287 --> 00:14:53,485
or your fingerprints.

301
00:14:53,520 --> 00:14:56,554
So on the one side,
it was really cool.

302
00:14:56,589 --> 00:15:00,690
On the other side, it was like
gee, that's kind of weird.

303
00:15:05,070 --> 00:15:10,106
Okay, now I think
I'll make one for Zack.

304
00:15:10,141 --> 00:15:12,174
Okay, so the pod goes down,

305
00:15:12,209 --> 00:15:13,472
go like this,

306
00:15:13,507 --> 00:15:16,706
get the amount of foam
you want by that.

307
00:15:16,741 --> 00:15:18,983
You know, how foamy you want it.

308
00:15:26,487 --> 00:15:31,160
My mother and father
were not your average people.

309
00:15:31,195 --> 00:15:33,327
They were pretty uneducated.

310
00:15:33,362 --> 00:15:38,398
My mother was very childlike
and fantasy oriented.

311
00:15:38,433 --> 00:15:42,006
She starting having me
modeling at three years old.

312
00:15:42,041 --> 00:15:44,140
One of the major lessons

313
00:15:44,175 --> 00:15:46,637
and traumatic moments in my life

314
00:15:46,672 --> 00:15:49,607
was when she had me
on Princess for a Day.

315
00:15:49,642 --> 00:15:54,150
But I didn't realize how
traumatic this experience was

316
00:15:54,185 --> 00:15:57,252
till I start writing
this book about my life.

317
00:15:57,287 --> 00:16:00,354
That's the first thing
I wrote about,

318
00:16:00,389 --> 00:16:04,556
on a quiet deck in Connecticut
in the forest.

319
00:16:04,591 --> 00:16:06,756
And I started crying
and I realized

320
00:16:06,791 --> 00:16:10,364
that this was a very sad thing

321
00:16:10,399 --> 00:16:12,234
that she had me do.

322
00:16:12,269 --> 00:16:15,369
You know, and the lesson was,
you know,

323
00:16:15,404 --> 00:16:18,240
do anything to be known
and to stand out

324
00:16:18,275 --> 00:16:20,539
and you know, lie, do anything.

325
00:16:20,574 --> 00:16:22,508
You know,
I'm not going to be happy

326
00:16:22,543 --> 00:16:25,775
unless you become a princess.

327
00:16:25,810 --> 00:16:28,382
♪

328
00:16:28,417 --> 00:16:32,254
I guess it was New Year's,
maybe it was '68.

329
00:16:32,289 --> 00:16:34,157
Our wild friend Margaret
invited us.

330
00:16:34,192 --> 00:16:36,654
I came to the party after
they left and she said to me,

331
00:16:36,689 --> 00:16:38,788
"Guess who I met at the party?"
I said, "Who?"

332
00:16:38,823 --> 00:16:42,264
She said, "I met Claude Picasso

333
00:16:42,299 --> 00:16:43,699
and I'm gonna introduce you
to him,

334
00:16:43,729 --> 00:16:45,399
and you're gonna
fall in love with him

335
00:16:45,434 --> 00:16:47,467
and he's gonna
fall in love with you."

336
00:16:47,502 --> 00:16:51,405
And then we went to the city
and Claude opened the door,

337
00:16:51,440 --> 00:16:53,803
and I had never seen anybody
who looked like him.

338
00:16:53,838 --> 00:16:55,739
He was very dramatic looking.

339
00:16:55,774 --> 00:16:58,478
He looked very much
like his father, Pablo Picasso.

340
00:16:58,513 --> 00:17:01,415
And the next day,
Margaret called and said to me,

341
00:17:01,450 --> 00:17:03,384
"Claude asked me
for your phone number."

342
00:17:03,419 --> 00:17:04,715
I said, "Really?"

343
00:17:04,750 --> 00:17:10,358
So about ten minutes later,
he called me

344
00:17:10,393 --> 00:17:13,130
and he said, "I'd like
to take you to dinner."

345
00:17:13,165 --> 00:17:15,693
And I said, "Well, why don't you
come to Brooklyn for dinner?"

346
00:17:15,728 --> 00:17:18,630
Even though I didn't know
how to cook.

347
00:17:18,665 --> 00:17:20,599
He said,
"Well, where's Brooklyn?"

348
00:17:20,634 --> 00:17:24,801
And so I told him how to get
to Brooklyn on the train,

349
00:17:24,836 --> 00:17:28,475
and he came,
and we never left each other

350
00:17:28,510 --> 00:17:31,247
for the next three years.

351
00:17:31,282 --> 00:17:34,415
Well, when I introduced
my mother to Claude,

352
00:17:34,450 --> 00:17:36,351
she said, "Picass-io?"

353
00:17:36,386 --> 00:17:40,553
She had no idea
who he was or who Picasso was.

354
00:17:40,588 --> 00:17:43,787
And then I got her a book
about Picasso's sculptures.

355
00:17:43,822 --> 00:17:47,098
Then she started to realize,

356
00:17:47,133 --> 00:17:48,693
"Oh, now she's a princess.

357
00:17:48,728 --> 00:17:50,761
Yeah, this is what I wanted,
yeah,

358
00:17:50,796 --> 00:17:52,235
She did what I wanted."

359
00:17:52,270 --> 00:17:53,478
I went away
with his sister Paloma

360
00:17:53,502 --> 00:17:56,107
to an island on a vacation.

361
00:17:56,142 --> 00:17:59,473
When I came back, he said,
"I want to marry you.

362
00:17:59,508 --> 00:18:01,442
So let's go to City Hall."

363
00:18:01,477 --> 00:18:04,643
Well, it's like in New York,
you know,

364
00:18:04,678 --> 00:18:09,417
there's a group of people
who have access to each other,

365
00:18:09,452 --> 00:18:11,353
and if you're not
part of their group,

366
00:18:11,388 --> 00:18:13,520
you don't have access
into that world

367
00:18:13,555 --> 00:18:16,556
of very famous artists, wealth,

368
00:18:16,591 --> 00:18:18,624
you know, interest... writers.

369
00:18:18,659 --> 00:18:23,299
And every door had just
flung open in a second.

370
00:18:23,334 --> 00:18:26,632
But I felt something
was very empty.

371
00:18:26,667 --> 00:18:29,371
And so, I began
to feel frustrated

372
00:18:29,406 --> 00:18:32,671
and curious about other people,
other worlds.

373
00:18:32,706 --> 00:18:36,246
I didn't feel... there was
something unreal going on.

374
00:18:36,281 --> 00:18:39,381
And Claude started to get
very upset about all of this

375
00:18:39,416 --> 00:18:46,256
and threatened,
and felt that I was no longer...

376
00:18:46,291 --> 00:18:48,918
My allegiance
was no longer with him.

377
00:18:48,953 --> 00:18:55,859
And he said to me, "The student
eventually leaves the teacher."

378
00:18:55,894 --> 00:18:58,400
'Cause he knew I would leave,
yes.

379
00:18:58,435 --> 00:19:01,238
And I did.

380
00:19:06,872 --> 00:19:10,247
This was taken
probably four weeks

381
00:19:10,282 --> 00:19:12,381
after I was home
and out of the hospital

382
00:19:12,416 --> 00:19:13,811
and back in school.

383
00:19:13,846 --> 00:19:15,747
Probably four weeks.

384
00:19:15,782 --> 00:19:19,190
- That's not much.
- I was in a lot of pain.

385
00:19:19,225 --> 00:19:20,323
- Really?
- Oh my.

386
00:19:20,358 --> 00:19:21,687
You can tell, look at my face.

387
00:19:21,722 --> 00:19:23,953
It's painful looking,
and he thought

388
00:19:23,988 --> 00:19:25,889
that was because I was sad.

389
00:19:25,924 --> 00:19:28,859
I hurt so bad I couldn't hardly
stand to stand on that bridge.

390
00:19:28,894 --> 00:19:30,927
I still had ulcers
on the bottom of my feet

391
00:19:30,962 --> 00:19:32,566
about that big around.

392
00:19:32,601 --> 00:19:34,667
- I mean, did everybody know?
- Everybody figured

393
00:19:34,702 --> 00:19:36,471
that it was somebody
from the turnpike,

394
00:19:36,506 --> 00:19:38,440
because the turnpike
opened about ten years

395
00:19:38,475 --> 00:19:39,837
prior to my abduction.

396
00:19:39,872 --> 00:19:42,741
It was the most exciting
and most colorful thing

397
00:19:42,776 --> 00:19:45,315
in this whole area,
and we just assumed

398
00:19:45,350 --> 00:19:48,252
that somebody was coming off
of that network of people

399
00:19:48,287 --> 00:19:49,715
that were new in the area.

400
00:19:49,750 --> 00:19:52,256
It's a new place, new adventure,

401
00:19:52,291 --> 00:19:53,587
and he was just stalking people

402
00:19:53,622 --> 00:19:55,391
and doing terrible things.

403
00:19:55,426 --> 00:19:57,987
No one knew that he lived here.

404
00:19:58,022 --> 00:20:01,265
He said, "Now, tell me
who I am," and I did not know.

405
00:20:01,300 --> 00:20:03,597
He said, "Does 'Bicycle Pete'
mean anything to you?"

406
00:20:03,632 --> 00:20:05,412
He said, "You kids make fun
of me all the time

407
00:20:05,436 --> 00:20:06,963
on the school bus,"

408
00:20:06,998 --> 00:20:08,602
and then I knew who he was.

409
00:20:08,637 --> 00:20:10,901
♪

410
00:20:10,936 --> 00:20:14,806
"Now, your goal is to do
what I tell you to do."

411
00:20:14,841 --> 00:20:17,413
And I go to him one... this is
like the third or fourth day,

412
00:20:17,448 --> 00:20:19,514
I said,
"What is it you want me to do?"

413
00:20:19,549 --> 00:20:21,912
He said,
"Do you know how to drive?"

414
00:20:21,947 --> 00:20:23,551
I said, "Yeah."

415
00:20:23,586 --> 00:20:26,488
I had had no driving training,

416
00:20:26,523 --> 00:20:28,886
but I figured it was
a survival technique.

417
00:20:28,921 --> 00:20:32,626
I have to do this,
I'm gonna have to figure it out.

418
00:20:32,661 --> 00:20:35,332
And his goal
was to get to the golden egg,

419
00:20:35,367 --> 00:20:36,894
and I had no clue what that was.

420
00:20:36,929 --> 00:20:39,270
I'd never heard
that phrase before.

421
00:20:39,305 --> 00:20:42,900
And during the conversation
of three or four days

422
00:20:42,935 --> 00:20:45,540
of him screaming
and yelling at me,

423
00:20:45,575 --> 00:20:47,377
I realized
what the golden egg was.

424
00:20:47,412 --> 00:20:49,280
It was the turnpike,
and I learned that

425
00:20:49,315 --> 00:20:52,382
when we got to Sidneys Knob.

426
00:20:52,417 --> 00:20:54,010
There's a cave there on the top

427
00:20:54,045 --> 00:20:56,012
which overlooks the turnpike.

428
00:20:56,047 --> 00:20:59,620
♪

429
00:20:59,655 --> 00:21:00,929
And inside the cave,
he said "Reach in there

430
00:21:00,953 --> 00:21:02,953
and get me that can,
and don't do nothing else,

431
00:21:02,988 --> 00:21:05,956
'cause I'll shoot you
right in the back."

432
00:21:05,991 --> 00:21:08,794
And I pulled out this can
and it was an old rusty can

433
00:21:08,829 --> 00:21:10,664
and it had been there
a long time.

434
00:21:10,699 --> 00:21:12,336
He took an old rusty
hunting knife

435
00:21:12,371 --> 00:21:14,668
and he charred it open
with the knife and he goes,

436
00:21:14,703 --> 00:21:16,901
"Well, I guess you're gonna
eat today, blue eyes."

437
00:21:16,936 --> 00:21:19,739
And he put three peas on
the blade of a hunting knife

438
00:21:19,774 --> 00:21:22,478
and stuck them in the back of
my throat and turned the knife.

439
00:21:22,513 --> 00:21:23,743
Said, "Can you feel that?"

440
00:21:23,778 --> 00:21:24,822
And I said,
"Yeah, I can feel that."

441
00:21:24,846 --> 00:21:26,328
And he said, "Well,
blood can come at any time,

442
00:21:26,352 --> 00:21:28,418
you better swallow."

443
00:21:28,453 --> 00:21:31,817
And that's the only food that
I recall ever having or seeing.

444
00:21:31,852 --> 00:21:36,624
♪

445
00:21:36,659 --> 00:21:39,924
Every day was more violent
than the day before,

446
00:21:39,959 --> 00:21:44,566
and the more intense it got
when he killed Terry Anderson,

447
00:21:44,601 --> 00:21:47,503
the anger and the beatings
and his demeanor

448
00:21:47,538 --> 00:21:50,836
changed completely on day seven.

449
00:21:50,871 --> 00:21:53,839
And he shot Terry Anderson
within 18 feet of me.

450
00:21:53,874 --> 00:21:55,643
♪

451
00:21:55,678 --> 00:21:57,645
Terry Anderson was an FBI agent

452
00:21:57,680 --> 00:22:00,076
who was sent here for the search
from Philadelphia.

453
00:22:00,111 --> 00:22:02,012
He was 44 years old.

454
00:22:02,047 --> 00:22:03,585
♪

455
00:22:03,620 --> 00:22:05,114
He was the father of four.

456
00:22:05,149 --> 00:22:09,019
♪

457
00:22:09,054 --> 00:22:11,626
And after that happened,

458
00:22:11,661 --> 00:22:14,596
Hollenbaugh's rage
was manifested

459
00:22:14,631 --> 00:22:17,995
to really out of control.

460
00:22:18,030 --> 00:22:22,131
He was running around
talking in tongues.

461
00:22:22,166 --> 00:22:26,806
It was like a raging maniac.

462
00:22:26,841 --> 00:22:31,712
He had such an evil mind
of just killing people.

463
00:22:31,747 --> 00:22:35,584
"You saw me kill one,
I'll kill more."

464
00:22:35,619 --> 00:22:39,489
That was the day... seventh day

465
00:22:39,524 --> 00:22:42,052
that I was with
William Hollenbaugh.

466
00:22:42,087 --> 00:22:43,856
The following day, I was rescued

467
00:22:43,891 --> 00:22:46,496
and Mr. Hollenbaugh was killed.

468
00:22:46,531 --> 00:22:49,092
He was shot immediately
by the officer

469
00:22:49,127 --> 00:22:51,435
who came from behind the house.

470
00:22:51,470 --> 00:22:53,998
And that's end of story here.

471
00:22:54,033 --> 00:22:58,937
♪

472
00:23:06,782 --> 00:23:10,047
I am very lucky
that I graduated from college

473
00:23:10,082 --> 00:23:13,182
at a moment when
doors were opening for women.

474
00:23:13,217 --> 00:23:15,525
When I talk to young women,
they have no idea that there

475
00:23:15,560 --> 00:23:18,561
was time women couldn't get
credit cards in their names,

476
00:23:18,596 --> 00:23:22,092
or when there couldn't be
a women CEO, or you know.

477
00:23:22,127 --> 00:23:25,700
So lots and lots of doors
opened up,

478
00:23:25,735 --> 00:23:27,603
both for me as a woman

479
00:23:27,638 --> 00:23:29,638
and as an African American.

480
00:23:30,476 --> 00:23:31,805
When I was at Columbia,

481
00:23:31,840 --> 00:23:33,939
my advisor Phyllis Garland

482
00:23:33,974 --> 00:23:36,513
was the only Black woman
on the faculty.

483
00:23:36,548 --> 00:23:38,845
We were talking about
what my topic was going to be,

484
00:23:38,880 --> 00:23:40,913
and I gave her
some really clichéd,

485
00:23:40,948 --> 00:23:43,916
unimaginative kinds of topics.

486
00:23:43,951 --> 00:23:45,786
Like Fulton Fish Market,
you know,

487
00:23:45,821 --> 00:23:47,227
something that a girl
who hadn't grown up in New York

488
00:23:47,251 --> 00:23:50,692
would think, "Nobody's
ever done this before!"

489
00:23:50,727 --> 00:23:52,166
And at the end
of the conversation,

490
00:23:52,190 --> 00:23:55,730
Phyl said to me, "You know,
your name is A'Lelia,

491
00:23:55,765 --> 00:23:58,568
do you have any connection
to Madam Walker

492
00:23:58,603 --> 00:23:59,734
and A'Lelia Walker,

493
00:23:59,769 --> 00:24:01,131
Madam Walker's daughter?"

494
00:24:01,166 --> 00:24:03,133
And I'm like,
"Yeah, that's my family."

495
00:24:03,168 --> 00:24:05,069
Because, you know,
I wanted to be me.

496
00:24:05,104 --> 00:24:09,172
I didn't want to be somebody's
great-great-granddaughter only

497
00:24:09,207 --> 00:24:11,042
and that was my only identity.

498
00:24:11,077 --> 00:24:12,989
But I said, "Yeah, that's
my family," and Phyl said,

499
00:24:13,013 --> 00:24:15,244
"That's what you're going
to write your paper about."

500
00:24:15,279 --> 00:24:17,785
So that's the fall of 1975.

501
00:24:17,820 --> 00:24:19,787
I mean, that was, you know,

502
00:24:19,822 --> 00:24:21,228
there was nobody else
saying to me, "A'Lelia,

503
00:24:21,252 --> 00:24:22,999
this is really an
important story and you need

504
00:24:23,023 --> 00:24:25,694
to write a book and somebody's
gonna publish a book."

505
00:24:25,729 --> 00:24:27,564
But Phyl sort of
planted that seed,

506
00:24:27,599 --> 00:24:29,764
so I had begun
to do some research.

507
00:24:29,799 --> 00:24:31,601
I'm still really...
I gotta make money.

508
00:24:31,636 --> 00:24:34,263
I didn't inherit, you know...
I didn't have a trust fund.

509
00:24:34,298 --> 00:24:39,070
So I was able to get
a fellowship from NBC

510
00:24:39,105 --> 00:24:42,612
that NBC sponsored,
and that gave me

511
00:24:42,647 --> 00:24:46,011
a little foot in the door
at NBC.

512
00:24:46,046 --> 00:24:51,753
So when I finished,
I was hired by NBC.

513
00:24:51,788 --> 00:24:53,689
You know,
it was an interesting time

514
00:24:53,724 --> 00:24:55,724
because it was... you never knew

515
00:24:55,759 --> 00:24:56,923
what any day was going to be.

516
00:24:56,958 --> 00:24:59,662
I kept a suitcase packed
in my car.

517
00:24:59,697 --> 00:25:01,928
So you could be, you know,
in the middle of the night,

518
00:25:01,963 --> 00:25:06,295
you get a call and you run
to the private airport

519
00:25:06,330 --> 00:25:08,099
and jump on a plane,
and you didn't know

520
00:25:08,134 --> 00:25:11,234
where you were going to be
for the next week or so.

521
00:25:11,269 --> 00:25:13,302
I flew into Memphis.

522
00:25:13,337 --> 00:25:16,646
At the time, I had a big afro,

523
00:25:16,681 --> 00:25:18,175
and I went to
the rental car place,

524
00:25:18,210 --> 00:25:21,145
and the only car available
was a red Camaro.

525
00:25:21,180 --> 00:25:25,149
So I'm driving from Memphis
to Mississippi.

526
00:25:25,184 --> 00:25:27,789
I've never been
in Mississippi before.

527
00:25:27,824 --> 00:25:29,725
But it's a beautiful spring day.

528
00:25:29,760 --> 00:25:32,893
It's a beautiful place,
the wildflowers are blooming,

529
00:25:32,928 --> 00:25:35,093
I see a cardinal fly across,
I'm thinking,

530
00:25:35,128 --> 00:25:36,930
"Mississippi,
all these horrible things

531
00:25:36,965 --> 00:25:39,801
I've heard about Mississippi,
what a beautiful place.

532
00:25:39,836 --> 00:25:41,132
How ironic this is."

533
00:25:41,167 --> 00:25:44,608
So I arrive in Tupelo
in my red Camaro,

534
00:25:44,643 --> 00:25:48,073
and you know, again,
at that point, no cellphones.

535
00:25:48,108 --> 00:25:49,811
So I needed to make
a phone call.

536
00:25:49,846 --> 00:25:50,988
You have to call
the New York desk

537
00:25:51,012 --> 00:25:52,946
to tell them where you are,

538
00:25:52,981 --> 00:25:55,751
and the one place to make
the phone call was a pool hall

539
00:25:55,786 --> 00:25:57,049
with a Coca-Cola machine

540
00:25:57,084 --> 00:25:59,986
and a bunch of old boys
standing around.

541
00:26:00,021 --> 00:26:02,351
But my camera guys
came in with me,

542
00:26:02,386 --> 00:26:04,056
I made my phone call.

543
00:26:04,091 --> 00:26:07,224
That evening,
we went to cover the rally.

544
00:26:07,259 --> 00:26:10,997
That was probably one
of the pivotal moments for me

545
00:26:11,032 --> 00:26:14,363
that I, you know,
I knew that I was safe

546
00:26:14,398 --> 00:26:17,003
because I was with people
who were watching out for me,

547
00:26:17,038 --> 00:26:20,336
but it was also something
that was very frightening.

548
00:26:20,371 --> 00:26:23,141
But it was really
an experience for me

549
00:26:23,176 --> 00:26:24,945
to say, you know,
you're a journalist.

550
00:26:24,980 --> 00:26:28,047
You're supposed to be able
to go into a war zone,

551
00:26:28,082 --> 00:26:29,664
you're supposed to be able
to go into a place

552
00:26:29,688 --> 00:26:32,249
that's uncomfortable
and you have to figure out

553
00:26:32,284 --> 00:26:34,350
how to navigate it.

554
00:26:34,385 --> 00:26:37,925
I covered the child murders
in Atlanta.

555
00:26:37,960 --> 00:26:40,125
I was the lead producer on that.

556
00:26:40,160 --> 00:26:44,965
I then was a producer on
the Jesse Jackson campaign

557
00:26:45,000 --> 00:26:47,165
and on
the Geraldine Ferraro campaign.

558
00:26:47,200 --> 00:26:49,772
So I was doing, you know,
I was making my way

559
00:26:49,807 --> 00:26:52,170
up the ladder.

560
00:26:54,009 --> 00:26:57,714
This was summer of 1976.

561
00:26:57,749 --> 00:27:01,047
Women had just sued Newsweek

562
00:27:01,082 --> 00:27:03,313
and they had sued NBC and ABC,

563
00:27:03,348 --> 00:27:06,382
because women,
young women were hired

564
00:27:06,417 --> 00:27:08,758
as secretaries or researchers

565
00:27:08,793 --> 00:27:10,287
and they stayed at that level,

566
00:27:10,322 --> 00:27:15,061
and young men would be hired
as associate producers

567
00:27:15,096 --> 00:27:17,965
or desk assistants and then
they would become producers.

568
00:27:18,000 --> 00:27:20,330
And so,
a new bureau chief came in

569
00:27:20,365 --> 00:27:23,036
and he had been replaced

570
00:27:23,071 --> 00:27:26,039
by the first Black woman
bureau chief.

571
00:27:26,074 --> 00:27:27,777
We just really clashed.

572
00:27:27,812 --> 00:27:30,813
This guy really, he was mad
because he had been replaced

573
00:27:30,848 --> 00:27:32,243
by a Black woman.

574
00:27:32,278 --> 00:27:34,377
I was ready to quit.

575
00:27:36,216 --> 00:27:38,084
♪

576
00:27:38,119 --> 00:27:40,724
I feel that these days,
there's probably

577
00:27:40,759 --> 00:27:43,727
a more equal mix, but for sure,

578
00:27:43,762 --> 00:27:48,193
you know, the art world,
like the rest of the world is,

579
00:27:48,228 --> 00:27:51,130
has always traditionally been
more male oriented.

580
00:27:51,165 --> 00:27:54,133
I think that's
no secret to anyone.

581
00:27:54,168 --> 00:27:59,369
I've always wanted to have
a very diverse studio

582
00:27:59,404 --> 00:28:04,814
that's able to explore all
kinds of different techniques,

583
00:28:04,849 --> 00:28:07,311
use all kinds of
different materials.

584
00:28:07,346 --> 00:28:11,447
And this is actually
how big he was.

585
00:28:11,482 --> 00:28:15,286
This is his life size,
like, they very meticulously

586
00:28:15,321 --> 00:28:19,191
recorded all
of his measurements.

587
00:28:19,226 --> 00:28:22,997
And I even had
like xeroxes of his hands

588
00:28:23,032 --> 00:28:25,494
so we knew how big
his hands were.

589
00:28:25,529 --> 00:28:26,495
It's pretty amazing right?

590
00:28:26,530 --> 00:28:28,739
- Stand next... yeah, that's great.
- Look at that.

591
00:28:28,774 --> 00:28:33,040
I mean, I have big hands,
but look at that.

592
00:28:33,075 --> 00:28:36,142
Pretty crazy, right?

593
00:28:36,177 --> 00:28:38,045
Then I had,
you know, one assistant

594
00:28:38,080 --> 00:28:41,015
for a couple of years
and then it just,

595
00:28:41,050 --> 00:28:44,315
you know, we got bigger projects
and needed more people

596
00:28:44,350 --> 00:28:47,285
and it just sort of grew
over the years.

597
00:28:47,320 --> 00:28:51,124
We did a project for Lady Gaga
a couple of years ago

598
00:28:51,159 --> 00:28:54,391
that was part of her
Fame perfume launch.

599
00:28:54,426 --> 00:28:55,997
We've done a few projects
for her.

600
00:28:56,032 --> 00:28:58,395
So now we've got this challenge.

601
00:28:58,430 --> 00:29:03,103
We need to make this
giant transparent egg shape,

602
00:29:03,138 --> 00:29:04,808
like her perfume bottle,

603
00:29:04,843 --> 00:29:08,009
that also sits in a carriage

604
00:29:08,044 --> 00:29:09,472
that she can get in and out of

605
00:29:09,507 --> 00:29:12,046
and there's a scene inside it,
you know.

606
00:29:12,081 --> 00:29:15,082
And it's all attached
to this actual carriage

607
00:29:15,117 --> 00:29:18,888
that is being shipped to us
from Los Angeles.

608
00:29:18,923 --> 00:29:20,285
And when it gets here,

609
00:29:20,320 --> 00:29:23,321
is going to be drawn
by an actual horse.

610
00:29:24,995 --> 00:29:27,061
So it's just like,
whoa, you know,

611
00:29:27,096 --> 00:29:28,436
and all this
has to come together

612
00:29:28,460 --> 00:29:32,297
in like ten days.

613
00:29:32,332 --> 00:29:37,302
All my cumulative experience
and experience making, you know,

614
00:29:37,337 --> 00:29:38,348
all kinds of different things

615
00:29:38,372 --> 00:29:42,109
kind of informed who I am
and what I am today

616
00:29:42,144 --> 00:29:44,012
and what I am interested
in doing

617
00:29:44,047 --> 00:29:45,310
or not interested in doing.

618
00:29:45,345 --> 00:29:47,180
It's fun to have stuff here
in the city

619
00:29:47,215 --> 00:29:51,118
that people can actually see
and experience.

620
00:29:51,153 --> 00:29:53,186
So in Phase 3 of the High Line,

621
00:29:53,221 --> 00:29:57,927
we were asked by Diller Scofidio
& Renfro, the architects,

622
00:29:57,962 --> 00:30:01,128
to help them develop
a rubber material

623
00:30:01,163 --> 00:30:03,328
that resembled the beam forms

624
00:30:03,363 --> 00:30:06,969
and create a couple of levels

625
00:30:07,004 --> 00:30:08,597
and sort of in-and-out areas

626
00:30:08,632 --> 00:30:11,941
so that kids could use it
as a play area.

627
00:30:11,976 --> 00:30:15,010
Underneath all these pieces
of rubber that we made

628
00:30:15,045 --> 00:30:18,442
are part of the original beam
structure of the High Line.

629
00:30:18,477 --> 00:30:23,249
Then they cut through
and made this second level here

630
00:30:23,284 --> 00:30:25,614
so the kids could
sort of go in and out.

631
00:30:25,649 --> 00:30:26,890
They have all these openings

632
00:30:26,925 --> 00:30:28,254
they can climb around,

633
00:30:28,289 --> 00:30:30,091
and then there
are periscopes also

634
00:30:30,126 --> 00:30:33,028
that you can see different views
of the city through.

635
00:30:33,063 --> 00:30:35,327
Even though I always wanted to,
you know,

636
00:30:35,362 --> 00:30:38,869
live in different places
and experience different things,

637
00:30:38,904 --> 00:30:41,971
I never really questioned
what I wanted to do.

638
00:30:42,006 --> 00:30:46,877
You know, so that was always
very crystal clear to me.

639
00:30:51,543 --> 00:30:59,543
♪

640
00:31:10,034 --> 00:31:18,034
♪

641
00:31:24,411 --> 00:31:27,313
Lake Champlain
was always down the hill

642
00:31:27,348 --> 00:31:30,415
and we could see it
from the top of the hill

643
00:31:30,450 --> 00:31:32,494
and we would always walk down
to the lake at look at it

644
00:31:32,518 --> 00:31:35,420
and sometimes
we'd go swimming and stuff.

645
00:31:35,455 --> 00:31:37,488
I ended up working there summers

646
00:31:37,523 --> 00:31:40,359
when I was going
to veterinary school.

647
00:31:40,394 --> 00:31:42,163
I looked at the lake and said,

648
00:31:42,198 --> 00:31:44,429
"I think I want
to swim across that."

649
00:31:44,464 --> 00:31:47,432
That crossing is like
between eight and nine miles.

650
00:31:47,467 --> 00:31:49,533
So we went and did
our little adventure

651
00:31:49,568 --> 00:31:53,570
and swam across Lake Champlain
in August of 1977.

652
00:31:53,605 --> 00:31:56,474
So I think that's the first time
that it entered my head

653
00:31:56,509 --> 00:31:58,949
that I wanted to swim
across something.

654
00:31:58,984 --> 00:32:01,446
♪

655
00:32:01,481 --> 00:32:04,053
My first job as a veterinarian
was in Vermont.

656
00:32:04,088 --> 00:32:05,197
It was in the northern part
of Vermont

657
00:32:05,221 --> 00:32:07,023
in a town called Newport.

658
00:32:07,058 --> 00:32:08,431
There were farms
that I would go to

659
00:32:08,455 --> 00:32:10,323
where I wouldn't be allowed
out of the truck.

660
00:32:10,358 --> 00:32:11,599
I'd be met at the truck
by the famer

661
00:32:11,623 --> 00:32:13,326
and he would tell me
to just leave

662
00:32:13,361 --> 00:32:16,065
and I would counter that with,

663
00:32:16,100 --> 00:32:19,068
"So you're going
to just let the cow die

664
00:32:19,103 --> 00:32:20,498
and not have anyone
look at her?"

665
00:32:20,533 --> 00:32:23,633
And he says that he would
prefer that to having me.

666
00:32:23,668 --> 00:32:28,176
After three years, the
veterinarian I was working for

667
00:32:28,211 --> 00:32:30,475
decided to finally
have a contract drawn up.

668
00:32:30,510 --> 00:32:33,082
Some of the stipulations
in the document

669
00:32:33,117 --> 00:32:34,512
weren't what I was expecting.

670
00:32:34,547 --> 00:32:36,448
The lawyer
that I was consulting said,

671
00:32:36,483 --> 00:32:40,221
"Well, if you take a stand
because you feel this strongly,

672
00:32:40,256 --> 00:32:41,497
what's the worst
that could happen to you?"

673
00:32:41,521 --> 00:32:42,696
And I said,
"Well, I could lose my job,"

674
00:32:42,720 --> 00:32:46,227
and that's exactly
what happened.

675
00:32:46,262 --> 00:32:47,756
I was five months pregnant

676
00:32:47,791 --> 00:32:51,001
so I was going to have a baby
at the end of that year

677
00:32:51,036 --> 00:32:55,236
and I started working out
of my living room,

678
00:32:55,271 --> 00:32:56,446
you know,
taking large animal calls

679
00:32:56,470 --> 00:32:58,107
and having people come see me.

680
00:32:58,142 --> 00:32:59,669
Then toward the end
of that year,

681
00:32:59,704 --> 00:33:03,013
I talked to my in-laws
who ran a business

682
00:33:03,048 --> 00:33:05,378
called Martin's Snack Bar

683
00:33:05,413 --> 00:33:07,160
and said, you know,
what would you think about me

684
00:33:07,184 --> 00:33:09,415
turning that
into an animal hospital?

685
00:33:09,450 --> 00:33:10,779
♪

686
00:33:10,814 --> 00:33:14,255
It was one of those things
where I think the moment

687
00:33:14,290 --> 00:33:16,389
was driven by necessity.

688
00:33:16,424 --> 00:33:18,259
I just was responsive,

689
00:33:18,294 --> 00:33:20,756
I didn't really have
a lot of background

690
00:33:20,791 --> 00:33:22,131
in running a business.

691
00:33:22,166 --> 00:33:24,397
So I basically figured
I'd enrolled

692
00:33:24,432 --> 00:33:26,795
in the school of hard knocks.

693
00:33:26,830 --> 00:33:31,668
Because you do make these
bad decisions or mistakes

694
00:33:31,703 --> 00:33:34,374
because you just don't know
any better.

695
00:33:34,409 --> 00:33:36,805
One example, which is
a very minor example is,

696
00:33:36,840 --> 00:33:41,150
I got employees, and there's
this thing called withholding.

697
00:33:41,185 --> 00:33:43,053
And then,
after a little bit of time,

698
00:33:43,088 --> 00:33:45,154
the government wants
what you withheld, and I said,

699
00:33:45,189 --> 00:33:47,486
"Oh. Where is that?"

700
00:33:48,753 --> 00:33:50,819
We grew steadily.

701
00:33:50,854 --> 00:33:52,524
We started getting busier,

702
00:33:52,559 --> 00:33:56,759
and then I had
a veterinarian call who said,

703
00:33:56,794 --> 00:34:00,565
"Are you looking
for another veterinarian?"

704
00:34:00,600 --> 00:34:04,371
I said to her,
"Oh, what an interesting idea."

705
00:34:04,406 --> 00:34:07,836
So we did keep on growing.

706
00:34:07,871 --> 00:34:11,147
It was always steadily growing,

707
00:34:11,182 --> 00:34:12,643
and it was 15 years

708
00:34:12,678 --> 00:34:16,185
when we decided to expand
into a bigger building.

709
00:34:16,220 --> 00:34:18,649
♪

710
00:34:18,684 --> 00:34:22,125
During my young childrearing
and building the practice,

711
00:34:22,160 --> 00:34:24,523
I wasn't swimming
nearly as much as I do now.

712
00:34:24,558 --> 00:34:26,459
♪

713
00:34:26,494 --> 00:34:29,132
I think back then,
I might have been too busy

714
00:34:29,167 --> 00:34:31,563
to swim as much as I do now.

715
00:34:31,598 --> 00:34:33,367
When I told my husband
I was going to swim

716
00:34:33,402 --> 00:34:34,797
the English Channel, he says,

717
00:34:34,832 --> 00:34:39,373
"Uh, Paula,
that window has closed for you."

718
00:34:39,408 --> 00:34:41,606
And I said,
"What does that mean?"

719
00:34:41,641 --> 00:34:43,476
He says, "Well, you're too old

720
00:34:43,511 --> 00:34:46,314
to do something like that."

721
00:34:56,887 --> 00:34:59,855
I want to say something.

722
00:34:59,890 --> 00:35:03,199
I don't want to make
any mistakes.

723
00:35:03,234 --> 00:35:05,795
It's too important.

724
00:35:05,830 --> 00:35:07,632
Why can't I get
what's in my head

725
00:35:07,667 --> 00:35:09,172
out to my voice?

726
00:35:09,207 --> 00:35:12,373
You mean, our voice.

727
00:35:12,408 --> 00:35:14,276
Our voice.

728
00:35:14,311 --> 00:35:18,742
Begin with the truth.

729
00:35:18,777 --> 00:35:21,679
What if I don't have
anything to say?

730
00:35:21,714 --> 00:35:23,394
What if they listen
to what I have to say

731
00:35:23,419 --> 00:35:27,652
and hate it?

732
00:35:27,687 --> 00:35:29,423
Colette wants.

733
00:35:29,458 --> 00:35:31,293
Colette wants...

734
00:35:31,328 --> 00:35:32,525
you to listen to her,

735
00:35:32,560 --> 00:35:33,757
pay attention to her

736
00:35:33,792 --> 00:35:38,927
and consider her ideas
and opinions legitimate.

737
00:35:38,962 --> 00:35:43,404
Colette wants people
to stop bullshitting her.

738
00:35:43,439 --> 00:35:45,571
Colette wants you
to forget how old she is

739
00:35:45,606 --> 00:35:48,277
and remember how young
her mind is.

740
00:35:48,312 --> 00:35:50,510
♪

741
00:35:50,545 --> 00:35:52,710
This is me in Sweden.

742
00:35:55,715 --> 00:35:58,485
Yeah, that was
the beginning of the year.

743
00:35:58,520 --> 00:36:00,916
So my junior high school
and high school years

744
00:36:00,951 --> 00:36:05,822
were my quest to find people
I belonged with.

745
00:36:05,857 --> 00:36:07,428
People who were like me,

746
00:36:07,463 --> 00:36:09,364
who would accept me.

747
00:36:09,399 --> 00:36:12,301
Because the cheerleaders

748
00:36:12,336 --> 00:36:13,566
and the football players

749
00:36:13,601 --> 00:36:15,535
and the, you know,

750
00:36:15,570 --> 00:36:18,472
the larger population was...

751
00:36:18,507 --> 00:36:22,971
I was nobody,
and so I was always trying to be

752
00:36:23,006 --> 00:36:25,578
accepted and fit in.

753
00:36:25,613 --> 00:36:27,778
I didn't embrace being different

754
00:36:27,813 --> 00:36:30,319
until much, much later
in my life.

755
00:36:30,354 --> 00:36:32,651
♪

756
00:36:32,686 --> 00:36:36,358
I applied to be
an exchange student

757
00:36:36,393 --> 00:36:38,525
because I wanted to leave home.

758
00:36:38,560 --> 00:36:42,298
I saw it as a way
to get out of Dodge.

759
00:36:42,333 --> 00:36:43,827
I went to Sweden.

760
00:36:43,862 --> 00:36:45,994
I lived in Gothenburg

761
00:36:46,029 --> 00:36:48,766
but it's pronounced in Swedish
<i>Göteborg.</i>

762
00:36:48,801 --> 00:36:52,869
And I didn't mind
being the outsider.

763
00:36:52,904 --> 00:36:55,740
Before I went to Sweden,
I wanted to fit in.

764
00:36:55,775 --> 00:36:58,842
When I came back from Sweden,
I didn't care.

765
00:36:58,877 --> 00:37:01,680
I think being
an exchange student,

766
00:37:01,715 --> 00:37:05,255
even though I made
some errors in judgment

767
00:37:05,290 --> 00:37:10,293
over that year, showed me

768
00:37:10,328 --> 00:37:12,361
using your imagination,

769
00:37:12,396 --> 00:37:14,528
you could accomplish a lot.

770
00:37:14,563 --> 00:37:16,332
That was the first place
I ever went

771
00:37:16,367 --> 00:37:18,466
where I was embraced,

772
00:37:18,501 --> 00:37:22,371
and I wasn't looked down on

773
00:37:22,406 --> 00:37:23,768
for being different.

774
00:37:23,803 --> 00:37:25,968
♪

775
00:37:26,003 --> 00:37:31,743
I ended up getting my degree
in fine arts, in drawing.

776
00:37:31,778 --> 00:37:33,679
I was assisting an art director

777
00:37:33,714 --> 00:37:35,780
on a magazine at Rodale Press.

778
00:37:35,815 --> 00:37:38,046
I worked as an artist,
a board artist

779
00:37:38,081 --> 00:37:40,785
for New Jersey Magazine.

780
00:37:40,820 --> 00:37:42,523
I knew that's not
what I wanted to do

781
00:37:42,558 --> 00:37:44,954
for the rest of my life was art.

782
00:37:44,989 --> 00:37:48,529
I took an acting class
and that was it.

783
00:37:48,564 --> 00:37:50,399
I knew immediately.

784
00:37:50,434 --> 00:37:52,434
I was in the classroom
for an hour

785
00:37:52,469 --> 00:37:55,338
and it was like,
I found my passion.

786
00:37:55,373 --> 00:37:56,504
That's it.

787
00:37:56,539 --> 00:37:58,066
Long story short, I got accepted

788
00:37:58,101 --> 00:38:00,805
into the first graduating class

789
00:38:00,840 --> 00:38:05,612
of the Masters
of Fine Arts program

790
00:38:05,647 --> 00:38:07,647
at the Actors Studio
Drama School

791
00:38:07,682 --> 00:38:08,714
at The New School.

792
00:38:08,749 --> 00:38:09,682
And that's where I went.

793
00:38:09,717 --> 00:38:11,882
I graduated in 1997

794
00:38:11,917 --> 00:38:15,050
and I was the first class that
graduated from that program,

795
00:38:15,085 --> 00:38:18,020
which is now pretty
well established.

796
00:38:18,055 --> 00:38:21,958
All my acting teachers
were trained by Lee Strasberg.

797
00:38:21,993 --> 00:38:24,499
So they had to study with him
and they also had to be

798
00:38:24,534 --> 00:38:27,832
members of the Actors Studio,
which is a very closed club.

799
00:38:27,867 --> 00:38:30,604
Then, we would have
master classes

800
00:38:30,639 --> 00:38:32,804
with people like Estelle Parsons

801
00:38:32,839 --> 00:38:35,543
and John Patrick Shanley,

802
00:38:35,578 --> 00:38:37,710
who is a playwright
that I admire

803
00:38:37,745 --> 00:38:40,713
and was mesmerized by him.

804
00:38:40,748 --> 00:38:43,683
Sydney Pollack and Sidney Lumet

805
00:38:43,718 --> 00:38:46,114
and Sally Field
and Jessica Lange,

806
00:38:46,149 --> 00:38:50,756
and Paul Newman, who I got to do
a scene with in graduate...

807
00:38:50,791 --> 00:38:52,791
I mean, it was like...

808
00:38:52,826 --> 00:38:54,892
You couldn't ask
for anything better.

809
00:38:54,927 --> 00:38:58,599
♪

810
00:38:58,634 --> 00:39:02,900
I try not to say
"I'm sorry" anymore,

811
00:39:02,935 --> 00:39:05,903
and sometimes I do let it slip,

812
00:39:05,938 --> 00:39:07,707
and then I say, "I'm not sorry."

813
00:39:07,742 --> 00:39:10,611
I give myself more permission.

814
00:39:10,646 --> 00:39:14,549
I, uh, I say "no" more

815
00:39:14,584 --> 00:39:16,947
to things I really don't want,

816
00:39:16,982 --> 00:39:18,652
and I say "yes" more

817
00:39:18,687 --> 00:39:22,150
to things I really do want.

818
00:39:22,185 --> 00:39:24,625
We're taught

819
00:39:24,660 --> 00:39:26,660
from a very early age as women

820
00:39:26,695 --> 00:39:29,091
what's wrong with us,

821
00:39:29,126 --> 00:39:31,830
and I try to embrace

822
00:39:31,865 --> 00:39:34,096
what's right with me.

823
00:39:34,131 --> 00:39:35,900
♪

824
00:39:35,935 --> 00:39:40,608
So, that leads me
to where I am now...

825
00:39:40,643 --> 00:39:44,106
a show for the Philadelphia
Fringe Festival.

826
00:39:44,141 --> 00:39:49,144
♪

827
00:39:49,179 --> 00:39:50,849
It's a very special
place to live.

828
00:39:50,884 --> 00:39:53,786
You feel like you're in New York
and not in New York, you know,

829
00:39:53,821 --> 00:39:56,657
and, um, I like it.

830
00:39:56,692 --> 00:39:58,692
I like the contrast, you know.

831
00:39:58,727 --> 00:40:02,498
I guess maybe getting older,
you do want something

832
00:40:02,533 --> 00:40:04,698
sometimes more peaceful.

833
00:40:07,835 --> 00:40:11,166
That might be one of
the indicators of my age.

834
00:40:12,873 --> 00:40:15,511
There was a certain power
to having that name.

835
00:40:15,546 --> 00:40:17,810
And giving up that power,

836
00:40:17,845 --> 00:40:21,979
I didn't know exactly
who I was going to become.

837
00:40:22,014 --> 00:40:24,883
And I knew I wanted to
give the name Picasso up,

838
00:40:24,918 --> 00:40:26,819
and several people said,
"Don't give that up!

839
00:40:26,854 --> 00:40:30,218
You can sell things,
it could be to your advantage."

840
00:40:30,253 --> 00:40:35,828
And there could... there were
advantages to keeping the name.

841
00:40:35,863 --> 00:40:37,896
Andy Warhol couldn't
believe that I was...

842
00:40:37,931 --> 00:40:38,942
Wanted to give up the name.

843
00:40:38,966 --> 00:40:41,900
You know, there was
something that was missing

844
00:40:41,935 --> 00:40:44,001
that I wasn't really

845
00:40:44,036 --> 00:40:45,805
totally connected

846
00:40:45,840 --> 00:40:48,137
with who I really am.

847
00:40:48,172 --> 00:40:52,977
And so, I eventually met
my second husband,

848
00:40:53,012 --> 00:40:53,945
Bill Lavner.

849
00:40:53,980 --> 00:40:57,113
Well, we were working
at the same office.

850
00:40:57,148 --> 00:41:01,821
These neighborhood little
directories, uh, bluebooks.

851
00:41:01,856 --> 00:41:04,219
Bill and I got married,

852
00:41:04,254 --> 00:41:06,694
and we had this...
Uh, we lived in the Village,

853
00:41:06,729 --> 00:41:08,025
and Bill was a publisher,

854
00:41:08,060 --> 00:41:11,963
and we had this

855
00:41:11,998 --> 00:41:12,700
very nice life.

856
00:41:12,735 --> 00:41:13,899
We traveled.

857
00:41:13,934 --> 00:41:16,165
He was brilliant
at frequent flier miles,

858
00:41:16,200 --> 00:41:18,002
so we traveled around the world.

859
00:41:18,037 --> 00:41:21,808
We eventually found
my children's birth parents

860
00:41:21,843 --> 00:41:23,843
and went to Korea.

861
00:41:23,878 --> 00:41:28,177
Now the children were 16 and 14,

862
00:41:28,212 --> 00:41:32,522
and my husband
started to walk funny.

863
00:41:32,557 --> 00:41:35,591
So the next day he went
to St. Vincent's Hospital,

864
00:41:35,626 --> 00:41:38,286
and the operation showed that

865
00:41:38,321 --> 00:41:40,959
he had a tumor on his spine,

866
00:41:40,994 --> 00:41:43,258
and it would have to be removed

867
00:41:43,293 --> 00:41:47,867
in a special operation.

868
00:41:47,902 --> 00:41:49,770
Eventually, we went
to another hospital,

869
00:41:49,805 --> 00:41:54,302
and something happened
during the operation.

870
00:41:54,337 --> 00:41:57,107
There was an accident, and, um,

871
00:41:57,142 --> 00:41:59,307
he was paralyzed.

872
00:41:59,342 --> 00:42:02,783
And, I went home,

873
00:42:02,818 --> 00:42:06,116
poured myself some
hot milk and cognac,

874
00:42:06,151 --> 00:42:07,623
drank it,

875
00:42:07,658 --> 00:42:09,020
went to sleep.

876
00:42:09,055 --> 00:42:12,089
And the next day,
I began my new life.

877
00:42:21,936 --> 00:42:29,936
♪

878
00:42:30,945 --> 00:42:33,044
So I said to my husband,

879
00:42:33,079 --> 00:42:36,751
"Guess what? I'm gonna join
the Sun City Poms."

880
00:42:36,786 --> 00:42:39,215
He looked at me, and he said,

881
00:42:39,250 --> 00:42:42,152
"Over my dead body!"

882
00:42:42,187 --> 00:42:45,661
Well, unfortunately,
he passed away.

883
00:42:45,696 --> 00:42:47,696
♪

884
00:42:47,731 --> 00:42:49,225
I thought, you know,

885
00:42:49,260 --> 00:42:53,867
he said over his dead body,
and maybe that means,

886
00:42:53,902 --> 00:42:56,639
"Okay, now go and join them."

887
00:42:56,674 --> 00:43:04,674
♪

888
00:43:07,817 --> 00:43:10,785
When you are a Sun City Pom,

889
00:43:10,820 --> 00:43:14,657
you gotta be one
tough old broad, really.

890
00:43:14,692 --> 00:43:17,660
If you wanna be on there
and you wanna be on stage

891
00:43:17,695 --> 00:43:19,255
and you wanna perform,

892
00:43:19,290 --> 00:43:23,193
you perform, it doesn't matter
what's wrong with you.

893
00:43:23,228 --> 00:43:23,894
Yes, I hurt.

894
00:43:23,929 --> 00:43:26,064
It kills me to get outta bed.

895
00:43:26,099 --> 00:43:28,968
And it hurts all the way,

896
00:43:29,003 --> 00:43:30,871
but those girls
are waiting for me,

897
00:43:30,906 --> 00:43:33,104
and I have to get there.

898
00:43:33,139 --> 00:43:36,976
Then you get to the block
that's mobbed with people.

899
00:43:37,011 --> 00:43:38,406
Nothing hurts anymore,

900
00:43:38,441 --> 00:43:41,981
'cause you gotta put on
a show for those people.

901
00:43:42,016 --> 00:43:50,016
♪

902
00:44:06,073 --> 00:44:11,307
Well, the Poms started in 1979

903
00:44:11,342 --> 00:44:13,782
as a cheerleading squad

904
00:44:13,817 --> 00:44:19,150
to a women's softball team
called the Sun City Saints.

905
00:44:19,185 --> 00:44:20,987
They were having poor
attendance, I guess,

906
00:44:21,022 --> 00:44:23,792
at these women's softball games,
and I think they figured

907
00:44:23,827 --> 00:44:25,002
if they had some
cheerleaders there,

908
00:44:25,026 --> 00:44:28,126
maybe they'd get
more men to show up.

909
00:44:28,161 --> 00:44:31,459
So the Poms have been around,

910
00:44:31,494 --> 00:44:34,330
well, we'll be celebrating
our 40th anniversary

911
00:44:34,365 --> 00:44:36,101
in a couple of years.

912
00:44:36,136 --> 00:44:38,433
♪

913
00:44:38,468 --> 00:44:39,667
You have to want to do it...

914
00:44:39,703 --> 00:44:43,174
And of course if they didn't,
they wouldn't be there...

915
00:44:43,209 --> 00:44:46,947
And you have the desire
for perfection.

916
00:44:46,982 --> 00:44:49,048
You have this, uh,

917
00:44:49,083 --> 00:44:52,150
desire to perform.

918
00:44:52,185 --> 00:44:55,989
And no matter
what is bothering you,

919
00:44:56,024 --> 00:44:58,354
that desire takes over

920
00:44:58,389 --> 00:45:01,863
because you can be tired,
you can be sick,

921
00:45:01,898 --> 00:45:03,491
you can lay down when it's over,

922
00:45:03,526 --> 00:45:07,803
but you've got to get
through these performances.

923
00:45:10,302 --> 00:45:16,306
♪

924
00:45:16,341 --> 00:45:19,177
I think I started having
symptoms of my arthritis

925
00:45:19,212 --> 00:45:21,476
in my hands when I was about 24.

926
00:45:21,511 --> 00:45:23,511
When the doctor told me that

927
00:45:23,546 --> 00:45:27,284
I would end up in a wheelchair
by the time I was 45,

928
00:45:27,319 --> 00:45:29,055
and it scared me.

929
00:45:29,090 --> 00:45:31,156
I thought,
"I can't let that happen.

930
00:45:31,191 --> 00:45:32,960
That's too young, that's...

931
00:45:32,995 --> 00:45:34,962
I've gotta keep going."

932
00:45:34,997 --> 00:45:38,900
And then, it wasn't till
I turned 62,

933
00:45:38,935 --> 00:45:41,397
the year I retired,

934
00:45:41,432 --> 00:45:44,433
I got up one morning,
and I just fell.

935
00:45:44,468 --> 00:45:47,139
My... I just couldn't
walk anymore.

936
00:45:47,174 --> 00:45:51,110
Today, I am going through
the breast cancer

937
00:45:51,145 --> 00:45:56,049
that I was told I was free
and clear of after 10 years.

938
00:45:56,084 --> 00:46:00,515
It came back and metastasized
into my liver,

939
00:46:00,550 --> 00:46:03,221
and Stage IV.

940
00:46:03,256 --> 00:46:07,423
It's in any type
of situation like this,

941
00:46:07,458 --> 00:46:11,427
you have to have something
that's important to you,

942
00:46:11,462 --> 00:46:13,165
something you like,

943
00:46:13,200 --> 00:46:15,398
that keeps you going.

944
00:46:15,433 --> 00:46:17,906
And you say, "Well,
I'm not gonna give in

945
00:46:17,941 --> 00:46:19,185
and just sit around
and do nothing"

946
00:46:19,209 --> 00:46:23,813
because that's the worst thing
you can do is sit and lay.

947
00:46:23,848 --> 00:46:25,980
♪

948
00:46:26,015 --> 00:46:27,542
And then, um,

949
00:46:27,577 --> 00:46:30,017
I noticed my neighbor Greta,

950
00:46:30,052 --> 00:46:32,547
she would leave
in these nice costumes.

951
00:46:32,582 --> 00:46:35,121
And so, I talked to her,

952
00:46:35,156 --> 00:46:36,300
and she says,
"Well, we do dancing."

953
00:46:36,324 --> 00:46:39,323
And I said, "Oh, I'd love
to get back into dancing."

954
00:46:39,358 --> 00:46:42,260
I said, "I don't know
how well I would do anymore,

955
00:46:42,295 --> 00:46:46,198
but I sure would love
to get back into dancing."

956
00:46:46,233 --> 00:46:47,969
So for about three years,

957
00:46:48,004 --> 00:46:52,171
I took really heavy
doses of morphine.

958
00:46:52,206 --> 00:46:54,437
And, um, one day I just woke up

959
00:46:54,472 --> 00:46:57,473
and told myself
I had to come off them.

960
00:46:57,508 --> 00:46:58,741
I just had to find a way

961
00:46:58,776 --> 00:47:01,950
that, you know, I couldn't
get up in the morning without

962
00:47:01,985 --> 00:47:03,083
having those by my bed.

963
00:47:03,118 --> 00:47:04,986
And I was trying to decide

964
00:47:05,021 --> 00:47:07,219
was I takin' 'em
because of an addiction

965
00:47:07,254 --> 00:47:08,517
or because I really hurt?

966
00:47:08,552 --> 00:47:11,586
And then, I finally
got down to one a day.

967
00:47:11,621 --> 00:47:14,963
And then, finally one night
I forgot to take it.

968
00:47:14,998 --> 00:47:16,305
And I woke up in
the morning and thought,

969
00:47:16,329 --> 00:47:20,001
"Oh, I feel pretty good."

970
00:47:20,036 --> 00:47:23,334
So as far as resilience and age

971
00:47:23,369 --> 00:47:25,974
and what keeps you going,

972
00:47:26,009 --> 00:47:30,044
um, I give the Poms
a lot of credit.

973
00:47:30,079 --> 00:47:33,080
Maybe people say, "Ugh,
that doesn't mean anything."

974
00:47:33,115 --> 00:47:34,983
I do.

975
00:47:35,018 --> 00:47:38,151
It's that desire to do things

976
00:47:38,186 --> 00:47:40,318
that keeps us going.

977
00:47:40,353 --> 00:47:43,255
It's a motivation for me.

978
00:47:43,290 --> 00:47:45,257
And some of these elderly ladies

979
00:47:45,292 --> 00:47:47,897
that are 84
and in their early 80s,

980
00:47:47,932 --> 00:47:49,998
and I just look at them and go,

981
00:47:50,033 --> 00:47:51,066
"You're amazing."

982
00:47:51,101 --> 00:47:56,565
And they really do,
they inspire me to keep moving.

983
00:47:56,600 --> 00:47:59,942
And if we forget to unzip
each other when we're done,

984
00:47:59,977 --> 00:48:01,669
then I get home and it's like,

985
00:48:01,704 --> 00:48:04,375
"Oh, my goodness, who am I
gonna get to zip me down?"

986
00:48:04,410 --> 00:48:07,213
Well, usually one of
my neighbors are home.

987
00:48:07,248 --> 00:48:09,182
♪

988
00:48:09,217 --> 00:48:11,283
Few more things,
I gotta get the iPod.

989
00:48:11,318 --> 00:48:14,352
That's the music
that we march to.

990
00:48:14,387 --> 00:48:22,387
♪

991
00:48:29,072 --> 00:48:30,632
See ya at the parade.

992
00:48:30,667 --> 00:48:36,671
♪

993
00:48:39,379 --> 00:48:43,018
♪

994
00:48:43,053 --> 00:48:44,316
- Yup.
- And your daughter too.

995
00:48:44,351 --> 00:48:47,550
And I volunteer a lot
to different places, so

996
00:48:47,585 --> 00:48:50,388
I'm still out there and active,
and that's all that matters.

997
00:48:50,423 --> 00:48:52,258
He had no upbringing,
no rearing,

998
00:48:52,293 --> 00:48:54,095
no love, no compassion,

999
00:48:54,130 --> 00:48:55,998
no one hugged him
and kissed him,

1000
00:48:56,033 --> 00:48:57,692
told him they loved him.

1001
00:48:57,727 --> 00:49:01,069
You cannot be of sound mind,

1002
00:49:01,104 --> 00:49:04,006
make good decisions if you
have hatred in your heart.

1003
00:49:04,041 --> 00:49:06,602
I'm in the process of
dedicating the rest of my life

1004
00:49:06,637 --> 00:49:07,803
to mental health.

1005
00:49:07,838 --> 00:49:11,640
I don't know what inroads
I can make in that project,

1006
00:49:11,675 --> 00:49:13,708
but I'm willing to donate
the rest of my life,

1007
00:49:13,743 --> 00:49:16,744
and any money that I can
contribute to that cause,

1008
00:49:16,779 --> 00:49:18,482
I will definitely do that.

1009
00:49:18,517 --> 00:49:20,682
We have to be more accountable

1010
00:49:20,717 --> 00:49:23,025
for the mental illness
in our nation.

1011
00:49:23,060 --> 00:49:26,556
And if I can be remembered
as one thing and one person,

1012
00:49:26,591 --> 00:49:29,526
I want to be remembered
as being giving

1013
00:49:29,561 --> 00:49:31,528
and forgiving.

1014
00:49:31,563 --> 00:49:33,728
He cannot be responsible
for his actions

1015
00:49:33,763 --> 00:49:36,137
when he was treated so poorly.

1016
00:49:36,172 --> 00:49:37,765
The system failed him,

1017
00:49:37,800 --> 00:49:40,042
and we failed him.

1018
00:49:40,077 --> 00:49:41,505
I forgave him

1019
00:49:41,540 --> 00:49:44,376
because it's
the right thing to do.

1020
00:49:44,411 --> 00:49:46,378
♪

1021
00:49:46,413 --> 00:49:49,084
My mother was the fourth
generation of women

1022
00:49:49,119 --> 00:49:52,549
in her family to have
worked for the Walker Company,

1023
00:49:52,584 --> 00:49:56,190
and I think she grew up
feeling that that was something

1024
00:49:56,225 --> 00:49:57,785
she was expected to do...

1025
00:49:57,820 --> 00:50:01,030
She majored in chemistry
and business in college...

1026
00:50:01,065 --> 00:50:04,627
But she didn't want
to impose that on us.

1027
00:50:04,662 --> 00:50:09,269
I grew up wanting to do...
Wanting to be a writer,

1028
00:50:09,304 --> 00:50:10,534
not wanting to do

1029
00:50:10,569 --> 00:50:13,108
the same thing that
my parents had done.

1030
00:50:13,143 --> 00:50:14,637
I was able to approach the story

1031
00:50:14,672 --> 00:50:16,408
in a way that was
comfortable for me

1032
00:50:16,443 --> 00:50:18,377
to tell Madam Walker's story,

1033
00:50:18,412 --> 00:50:21,149
to discover things that
others had really forgotten

1034
00:50:21,184 --> 00:50:22,414
or never known about her.

1035
00:50:22,449 --> 00:50:25,747
And I really
came to it more through

1036
00:50:25,782 --> 00:50:28,816
A'Lelia Walker,
Madam Walker's daughter,

1037
00:50:28,851 --> 00:50:33,227
because she had been part
of the Harlem Renaissance.

1038
00:50:33,262 --> 00:50:34,128
In the late '60s,

1039
00:50:34,163 --> 00:50:35,801
as I was beginning
to discover people like

1040
00:50:35,825 --> 00:50:38,826
Zora Neale Hurston
and Langston Hughes,

1041
00:50:38,861 --> 00:50:40,366
my grandfather had those books,

1042
00:50:40,401 --> 00:50:42,764
he had books
that they had written,

1043
00:50:42,799 --> 00:50:45,404
and so I became attached to that

1044
00:50:45,439 --> 00:50:46,801
and fascinated by that

1045
00:50:46,836 --> 00:50:49,639
because I loved to write
and I loved those writers.

1046
00:50:49,674 --> 00:50:53,313
So she was the person that I was
really interested in initially.

1047
00:50:53,348 --> 00:50:55,777
Madam Walker
was too complicated.

1048
00:50:55,812 --> 00:51:01,453
So while I was on
the Radcliffe College board,

1049
00:51:01,488 --> 00:51:03,719
one of the other board members

1050
00:51:03,754 --> 00:51:06,425
was a professor
named Nathan Huggins.

1051
00:51:06,460 --> 00:51:09,164
And Nathan also happened to be

1052
00:51:09,199 --> 00:51:12,233
an advisor for
a series of biographies

1053
00:51:12,268 --> 00:51:14,433
that Chelsea House Publishing

1054
00:51:14,468 --> 00:51:17,205
had created called
Black Americans of Achievement,

1055
00:51:17,240 --> 00:51:18,734
and they needed
a Madam Walker book,

1056
00:51:18,769 --> 00:51:20,835
and there had never been
a Madam Walker book,

1057
00:51:20,870 --> 00:51:23,211
and he knew that I was
doing some research

1058
00:51:23,246 --> 00:51:25,114
on my great-great-grandmother.

1059
00:51:25,149 --> 00:51:27,281
Around this time,

1060
00:51:27,316 --> 00:51:31,351
Alex Haley had come to us
and asked about

1061
00:51:31,386 --> 00:51:33,353
writing a biography
of Madam Walker...

1062
00:51:33,388 --> 00:51:36,290
Actually he wanted to do
a fictionalized version.

1063
00:51:36,325 --> 00:51:37,896
When we first started,
Haley would say, "Baby!"

1064
00:51:37,920 --> 00:51:41,526
You know, "Baby, do this,"
and he said, um,

1065
00:51:41,561 --> 00:51:45,893
"Make a file folder,
a manila folder for every year

1066
00:51:45,928 --> 00:51:47,598
of your story,

1067
00:51:47,633 --> 00:51:50,469
and just drop things
in that folder.

1068
00:51:50,504 --> 00:51:53,703
And make some folders for
the characters in your book,

1069
00:51:53,738 --> 00:51:56,277
and drop some things
in the folder."

1070
00:51:56,312 --> 00:51:59,346
So I now have
thousands of folders

1071
00:51:59,381 --> 00:52:01,447
because Alex told me
how to organize it.

1072
00:52:01,482 --> 00:52:03,284
I mean, it's just
a little thing,

1073
00:52:03,319 --> 00:52:04,813
but it makes such
a huge difference.

1074
00:52:04,848 --> 00:52:06,081
So now on my fourth book,

1075
00:52:06,116 --> 00:52:08,487
I've got all of this material
that I've been collecting

1076
00:52:08,522 --> 00:52:11,721
really for the last
four decades.

1077
00:52:11,756 --> 00:52:13,921
At 23, I would
never have thought

1078
00:52:13,956 --> 00:52:16,264
I would have anything at all

1079
00:52:16,299 --> 00:52:17,694
to do with Madam Walker.

1080
00:52:17,729 --> 00:52:20,301
Phyl Garland said
you need to write this story.

1081
00:52:20,336 --> 00:52:21,797
Alex Haley came along.

1082
00:52:21,832 --> 00:52:24,536
And then I saw
the effect that this

1083
00:52:24,571 --> 00:52:26,439
story had on other women.

1084
00:52:26,474 --> 00:52:29,541
How inspired other women
were by Madam Walker,

1085
00:52:29,576 --> 00:52:32,676
and so that made me want to
know more, made me want to,

1086
00:52:32,711 --> 00:52:34,678
to continue to tell the story.

1087
00:52:34,713 --> 00:52:36,680
Du Bois is my intellectual hero,

1088
00:52:36,715 --> 00:52:39,650
and as I go through this
old issue of The Crisis,

1089
00:52:39,685 --> 00:52:42,455
he has Madam Walker's obit,

1090
00:52:42,490 --> 00:52:44,820
and Du Bois says
great things about her.

1091
00:52:44,855 --> 00:52:47,625
He was just full of praise,
and I thought, well, you know,

1092
00:52:47,660 --> 00:52:49,300
I sort of filed that away,
and I thought,

1093
00:52:49,332 --> 00:52:51,266
"If my intellectual hero

1094
00:52:51,301 --> 00:52:52,960
can find something good
about this person

1095
00:52:52,995 --> 00:52:55,237
about whom I'm ambivalent,

1096
00:52:55,272 --> 00:52:56,898
then I need to re-examine it."

1097
00:52:56,933 --> 00:53:00,836
That her real thrust
was not straightening hair,

1098
00:53:00,871 --> 00:53:02,739
but changing hygiene

1099
00:53:02,774 --> 00:53:06,446
and helping people
heal scalp disease,

1100
00:53:06,481 --> 00:53:09,944
but to understand
that the caricature

1101
00:53:09,979 --> 00:53:13,585
that had been created about her
wasn't really accurate.

1102
00:53:13,620 --> 00:53:17,391
And then I began
to discover how much

1103
00:53:17,426 --> 00:53:18,920
of a political activist she was,

1104
00:53:18,955 --> 00:53:20,988
and how much of
a philanthropist she was,

1105
00:53:21,023 --> 00:53:24,332
and how much she empowered
women economically.

1106
00:53:24,367 --> 00:53:26,697
So she became then,
instead of this,

1107
00:53:26,732 --> 00:53:28,864
you know, one little incorrect

1108
00:53:28,899 --> 00:53:31,537
nugget that people repeated
over and over again,

1109
00:53:31,572 --> 00:53:34,573
she became this
fully-formed human being

1110
00:53:34,608 --> 00:53:37,675
who really made
a huge difference for women.

1111
00:53:37,710 --> 00:53:40,381
And now I'm at the point where

1112
00:53:40,416 --> 00:53:41,745
some of the seeds that I planted

1113
00:53:41,780 --> 00:53:45,320
by trying to keep
the story alive

1114
00:53:45,355 --> 00:53:46,585
have now come full circle,

1115
00:53:46,620 --> 00:53:49,489
and I'm able
to help the company,

1116
00:53:49,524 --> 00:53:51,623
and help the brand stay alive,

1117
00:53:51,658 --> 00:53:54,527
and now that will
be there after me.

1118
00:53:55,662 --> 00:53:57,860
So, that leads me
to where I am now,

1119
00:53:57,895 --> 00:54:02,469
and I'm in the process
of writing... rewriting...

1120
00:54:02,504 --> 00:54:04,834
A show for the Philadelphia
Fringe Festival.

1121
00:54:04,869 --> 00:54:09,410
I had started and stopped,
and started and stopped

1122
00:54:09,445 --> 00:54:11,973
this idea of a one-woman show.

1123
00:54:12,008 --> 00:54:15,042
It was based on
this whole concept of

1124
00:54:15,077 --> 00:54:17,550
me having this duality

1125
00:54:17,585 --> 00:54:20,047
in my life.

1126
00:54:20,082 --> 00:54:22,522
The thing I'm supposed to do,

1127
00:54:22,557 --> 00:54:24,689
and the thing I wanna do.

1128
00:54:24,724 --> 00:54:27,824
I'm confronting
things in this play

1129
00:54:27,859 --> 00:54:30,057
that I didn't want
to confront before

1130
00:54:30,092 --> 00:54:32,862
'cause I thought I
confronted them in therapy,

1131
00:54:32,897 --> 00:54:35,062
quite frankly.

1132
00:54:35,097 --> 00:54:37,933
But, I embrace them now,

1133
00:54:37,968 --> 00:54:42,641
and my age has
given me permission

1134
00:54:42,676 --> 00:54:44,544
to say "This is me,"

1135
00:54:44,579 --> 00:54:46,040
and "This is where I came from.

1136
00:54:46,075 --> 00:54:47,415
This is what I'm doing.

1137
00:54:47,450 --> 00:54:48,944
This is how I...

1138
00:54:48,979 --> 00:54:50,550
This is my art."

1139
00:54:50,585 --> 00:54:54,653
But it will feed
into my resilience

1140
00:54:54,688 --> 00:54:56,523
in that I can get back up there.

1141
00:54:56,558 --> 00:54:59,691
I can get back on stage,
I can perform again.

1142
00:54:59,726 --> 00:55:03,662
And hopefully I'll be able
to do more with that.

1143
00:55:03,697 --> 00:55:05,433
And it's just another
one of those things

1144
00:55:05,468 --> 00:55:06,698
I can say I did it.

1145
00:55:06,733 --> 00:55:08,095
You know, I wrote it,

1146
00:55:08,130 --> 00:55:09,470
I produced it.

1147
00:55:09,505 --> 00:55:13,067
I got people
to collaborate with me.

1148
00:55:13,102 --> 00:55:16,708
And, um, I can check that off.

1149
00:55:16,743 --> 00:55:18,105
And maybe I'll write
another one.

1150
00:55:18,140 --> 00:55:20,514
I think the reason
why we're so willing

1151
00:55:20,549 --> 00:55:22,747
to allow ourselves

1152
00:55:22,782 --> 00:55:27,719
to buy in to someone else

1153
00:55:27,754 --> 00:55:29,523
and let ourselves go

1154
00:55:29,558 --> 00:55:32,394
is because we don't have
that self-esteem.

1155
00:55:32,429 --> 00:55:35,463
We don't believe in...
We don't think we deserve it.

1156
00:55:35,498 --> 00:55:38,994
We don't... we don't think
we're good enough.

1157
00:55:39,029 --> 00:55:43,537
And I don't know
where that comes from.

1158
00:55:43,572 --> 00:55:45,704
I guess it comes
from our upbringing.

1159
00:55:45,739 --> 00:55:47,706
Where else could it come from?

1160
00:55:47,741 --> 00:55:51,974
But the older I get,
the more I see

1161
00:55:52,009 --> 00:55:54,141
that I am worth it.

1162
00:55:54,176 --> 00:55:57,452
So, I don't... I don't
lose myself anymore.

1163
00:55:57,487 --> 00:55:59,014
I know myself,

1164
00:55:59,049 --> 00:56:01,049
and I trust myself.

1165
00:56:01,084 --> 00:56:05,394
♪

1166
00:56:05,429 --> 00:56:08,991
I've really lived by my gut
in a lot of ways,

1167
00:56:09,026 --> 00:56:12,929
and I feel like that's what's
led me to this place today

1168
00:56:12,964 --> 00:56:15,503
is just sort of following
my gut instincts,

1169
00:56:15,538 --> 00:56:19,507
and always trying to get
involved as much as possible

1170
00:56:19,542 --> 00:56:20,970
in things that really

1171
00:56:21,005 --> 00:56:24,776
are gratifying
and satisfying to me

1172
00:56:24,811 --> 00:56:27,647
on a personal level,

1173
00:56:27,682 --> 00:56:29,913
and make me happy.

1174
00:56:29,948 --> 00:56:33,048
I'm working on
a series of pieces

1175
00:56:33,083 --> 00:56:36,524
that are inspired by

1176
00:56:36,559 --> 00:56:38,053
the illustrations of

1177
00:56:38,088 --> 00:56:40,858
a German biologist
named Ernst Haeckel.

1178
00:56:40,893 --> 00:56:43,927
A lot of them are
based on sea creatures.

1179
00:56:43,962 --> 00:56:46,798
So they're inspired by him,
but I think they're also

1180
00:56:46,833 --> 00:56:48,635
inspired by my childhood,

1181
00:56:48,670 --> 00:56:50,098
you know,
growing up on the beach

1182
00:56:50,133 --> 00:56:54,168
and seeing all these cool,
crazy sea anemones,

1183
00:56:54,203 --> 00:56:56,676
and sea urchins, and jellyfish.

1184
00:56:56,711 --> 00:57:00,009
So I'm sort of trying to

1185
00:57:00,044 --> 00:57:03,210
translate those
into the third dimension.

1186
00:57:03,245 --> 00:57:04,289
I guess in another ten years,

1187
00:57:04,313 --> 00:57:06,917
I don't see my life
being that much different

1188
00:57:06,952 --> 00:57:11,020
than it is now,
only I hope to be

1189
00:57:11,055 --> 00:57:13,495
less involved
in the commercial work.

1190
00:57:13,530 --> 00:57:15,222
So, I don't feel that

1191
00:57:15,257 --> 00:57:18,060
I'm ever gonna really retire.

1192
00:57:18,095 --> 00:57:21,965
My retirement is gonna be
doing my own work.

1193
00:57:22,000 --> 00:57:25,573
♪

1194
00:57:25,608 --> 00:57:27,707
Starting in 2009,

1195
00:57:27,742 --> 00:57:29,544
I was helping a friend train

1196
00:57:29,579 --> 00:57:31,876
'cause that was her goal,
to swim the English Channel.

1197
00:57:31,911 --> 00:57:33,944
One of the other support people

1198
00:57:33,979 --> 00:57:36,716
was on the pebbly beach
and said to me,

1199
00:57:36,751 --> 00:57:38,685
"Are you gonna swim
the Channel?"

1200
00:57:38,720 --> 00:57:41,083
And I said to her, "No!

1201
00:57:41,118 --> 00:57:43,250
Why would you ask me
a question like that?"

1202
00:57:43,285 --> 00:57:46,253
You know, 'cause... I don't know
why I reacted like that.

1203
00:57:46,288 --> 00:57:48,255
And she said,

1204
00:57:48,290 --> 00:57:50,862
"Because I think you can do it."

1205
00:57:50,897 --> 00:57:52,259
And so then I started to say,

1206
00:57:52,294 --> 00:57:54,767
"Really? Somebody else thinks
I can do something?"

1207
00:57:55,902 --> 00:57:59,002
The time that I
selected with my pilot

1208
00:57:59,037 --> 00:58:02,137
for my English Channel
swim attempt,

1209
00:58:02,172 --> 00:58:08,814
uh, was chosen as
September 7 to 14, 2016.

1210
00:58:08,849 --> 00:58:11,278
Was there ever a point
during your practicing

1211
00:58:11,313 --> 00:58:12,884
leading up to the swim

1212
00:58:12,919 --> 00:58:15,282
that you didn't think
you could do it?

1213
00:58:15,317 --> 00:58:16,317
Oh, many points,

1214
00:58:16,352 --> 00:58:19,594
because it's not an easy swim
by any means,

1215
00:58:19,629 --> 00:58:20,925
and I'd had, um,

1216
00:58:20,960 --> 00:58:24,291
people I knew
who weren't successful.

1217
00:58:24,326 --> 00:58:26,700
One of the things that makes it
such a hard swim is that

1218
00:58:26,735 --> 00:58:28,933
you never know
where you are, you know?

1219
00:58:28,968 --> 00:58:32,970
So, are you almost done,
or are you only part way?

1220
00:58:33,005 --> 00:58:34,202
It's just a horrible thing.

1221
00:58:34,237 --> 00:58:35,676
And I remember swimming

1222
00:58:35,711 --> 00:58:38,580
and looking to the left

1223
00:58:38,615 --> 00:58:39,626
where there was the vast ocean,

1224
00:58:39,650 --> 00:58:42,177
and sometimes you'd see
the big... the big ships,

1225
00:58:42,212 --> 00:58:44,619
and then looking to the right
and seeing my little boat

1226
00:58:44,654 --> 00:58:47,050
next to me, and I would think,

1227
00:58:47,085 --> 00:58:49,954
"That's all right, I don't need
to know where I am, I'm fine."

1228
00:58:49,989 --> 00:58:52,858
Near the end, when we were
in the pitch black

1229
00:58:52,893 --> 00:58:55,058
and the small boat was with us,

1230
00:58:55,093 --> 00:58:58,864
and the crew was shining
a spotlight on the cliff wall,

1231
00:58:58,899 --> 00:59:00,195
my support swimmer would say,

1232
00:59:00,230 --> 00:59:02,329
"Can you see the light?
You see the light?

1233
00:59:02,364 --> 00:59:03,330
Go for that."

1234
00:59:03,365 --> 00:59:05,002
And then I'd say, "Okay."

1235
00:59:05,037 --> 00:59:07,070
And then I would go over,
and she said

1236
00:59:07,105 --> 00:59:12,075
the last 200 meters I swam,
I swam, um, doggie paddle.

1237
00:59:12,110 --> 00:59:14,154
She said, "Some of your clients
might like to hear that."

1238
00:59:14,178 --> 00:59:17,113
I remember telling people
that it felt like crawling.

1239
00:59:17,148 --> 00:59:19,115
And so, in a way, you are
crawling in the water

1240
00:59:19,150 --> 00:59:21,051
when you're doing
the doggie paddle.

1241
00:59:21,086 --> 00:59:22,349
And then when I got to there

1242
00:59:22,384 --> 00:59:26,221
and slapped my hand
on the face of the cliff,

1243
00:59:26,256 --> 00:59:28,861
it was just, um,

1244
00:59:28,896 --> 00:59:30,896
a wonderful feeling,
it was just like, "Oh."

1245
00:59:30,931 --> 00:59:33,668
And then my friend that
was next to me, you know,

1246
00:59:33,703 --> 00:59:36,000
squealed in delight
and says that,

1247
00:59:36,035 --> 00:59:38,233
"You are an English Channel
swimmer, Paula!

1248
00:59:38,268 --> 00:59:39,971
You've made it!"

1249
00:59:40,006 --> 00:59:45,372
♪

1250
00:59:45,407 --> 00:59:49,046
So, I became stronger.

1251
00:59:49,081 --> 00:59:52,313
And I had to take care of all
the finances and everything,

1252
00:59:52,348 --> 00:59:55,723
and he was amazing.

1253
00:59:55,758 --> 00:59:59,859
He inspired everybody.

1254
01:00:00,994 --> 01:00:03,929
I'm gonna start to cry.

1255
01:00:03,964 --> 01:00:08,868
He helped other people
from Mount Sinai Hospital.

1256
01:00:08,903 --> 01:00:11,101
He was funny.

1257
01:00:11,136 --> 01:00:12,102
He read.

1258
01:00:12,137 --> 01:00:14,401
He gave me all
the information that I needed

1259
01:00:14,436 --> 01:00:21,243
'cause he would read
and listen to NPR every day.

1260
01:00:21,278 --> 01:00:25,148
He taught me more about patience

1261
01:00:25,183 --> 01:00:27,051
and love.

1262
01:00:29,319 --> 01:00:32,892
I didn't understand...
I understand even more now,

1263
01:00:32,927 --> 01:00:36,324
'cause he died three years ago,

1264
01:00:36,359 --> 01:00:39,030
and I even understand more now
about some of the lessons

1265
01:00:39,065 --> 01:00:40,834
he tried to teach me.

1266
01:00:42,134 --> 01:00:45,674
My most poignant
memories of Bill are

1267
01:00:45,709 --> 01:00:47,907
when he would hug me.

1268
01:00:47,942 --> 01:00:50,437
He couldn't use his hands,
but he would

1269
01:00:50,472 --> 01:00:53,440
take all his strength to hug me.

1270
01:00:53,475 --> 01:00:55,750
And it was almost...

1271
01:00:55,785 --> 01:00:58,346
I almost couldn't bear it

1272
01:00:58,381 --> 01:00:59,853
because it was so poignant

1273
01:00:59,888 --> 01:01:03,956
and so touching.

1274
01:01:03,991 --> 01:01:06,959
Except, you know, I embraced it,

1275
01:01:06,994 --> 01:01:10,193
but at the same time,
sometimes I wanted to pull away

1276
01:01:10,228 --> 01:01:12,063
'cause it was painful.

1277
01:01:14,199 --> 01:01:16,067
So I finally revealed myself

1278
01:01:16,102 --> 01:01:19,268
almost exactly
two years later in 2013.

1279
01:01:19,303 --> 01:01:22,073
One of the struggles that I had
during those two years,

1280
01:01:22,108 --> 01:01:24,812
I said, "Well, this
could go one of two ways.

1281
01:01:24,847 --> 01:01:26,814
You know, 'Oh, let's get her,
she's Siri.'

1282
01:01:26,849 --> 01:01:29,278
'Oh, let's not get her,
she's Siri, she's everywhere.'"

1283
01:01:29,313 --> 01:01:32,787
Corporations really seem
to be quite possessive

1284
01:01:32,822 --> 01:01:33,953
of their digital voices.

1285
01:01:33,988 --> 01:01:37,451
They don't really want people to

1286
01:01:37,486 --> 01:01:39,387
associate a person,

1287
01:01:39,422 --> 01:01:42,929
a face with the device.

1288
01:01:42,964 --> 01:01:46,229
They want people
to imagine, you know,

1289
01:01:46,264 --> 01:01:48,275
whoever they wanna imagine
that they're talking to.

1290
01:01:48,299 --> 01:01:51,806
Well, it was kind of
a strange thing because,

1291
01:01:51,841 --> 01:01:54,402
I never aspired to fame.

1292
01:01:54,437 --> 01:01:58,340
I call myself
"accidentally famous."

1293
01:01:58,375 --> 01:02:01,343
So, it was a struggle
for me because I basically

1294
01:02:01,378 --> 01:02:03,950
am more of an introvert
than an extrovert.

1295
01:02:03,985 --> 01:02:07,250
Siri really jolted me
out of my comfort zone,

1296
01:02:07,285 --> 01:02:09,285
and made me realize that
I was capable of doing

1297
01:02:09,320 --> 01:02:13,091
a lot more than maybe
I was doing at that point.

1298
01:02:13,126 --> 01:02:16,061
Suddenly, after not being
on camera for many years,

1299
01:02:16,096 --> 01:02:20,131
after the Siri revelation,
I was on camera a lot,

1300
01:02:20,166 --> 01:02:22,078
and I discovered that
it was something that I did

1301
01:02:22,102 --> 01:02:24,003
fairly comfortably.

1302
01:02:24,038 --> 01:02:25,873
And just reminded myself that,

1303
01:02:25,908 --> 01:02:27,413
"Well, you know,
maybe you should just

1304
01:02:27,437 --> 01:02:28,236
get out a little more

1305
01:02:28,271 --> 01:02:30,009
and do more of
this type of stuff."

1306
01:02:30,044 --> 01:02:33,210
So, thus the Siri Sings Band,

1307
01:02:33,245 --> 01:02:35,245
you know, and things
like that, so.

1308
01:02:35,280 --> 01:02:38,281
But I think as far
as women aging,

1309
01:02:38,316 --> 01:02:42,417
there's something calming
about reaching the 60s.

1310
01:02:42,452 --> 01:02:44,991
All of a sudden,
you can just... I find myself,

1311
01:02:45,026 --> 01:02:46,256
I'm more able to say "no"

1312
01:02:46,291 --> 01:02:49,292
to things that I don't
wanna do, you know.

1313
01:02:49,327 --> 01:02:51,195
It's like, "You know,
I really hate that.

1314
01:02:51,230 --> 01:02:53,934
You know what?
I'm just not gonna do it."

1315
01:02:53,969 --> 01:02:55,496
I can't do too much in here,

1316
01:02:55,531 --> 01:02:58,367
but I can do a little bit.

1317
01:02:58,402 --> 01:02:59,841
Wow.

1318
01:02:59,876 --> 01:03:01,370
So.

1319
01:03:01,405 --> 01:03:02,943
Okay.

1320
01:03:02,978 --> 01:03:05,814
I don't wanna
break another light.

1321
01:03:05,849 --> 01:03:07,046
So, is that enough?

1322
01:03:07,081 --> 01:03:07,913
- You still got it.
- Okay.

1323
01:03:07,949 --> 01:03:11,578
Where does my
resilience come from?

1324
01:03:11,613 --> 01:03:14,856
I just have to think
that I'm darn lucky.

1325
01:03:14,891 --> 01:03:19,091
I very often think,

1326
01:03:19,126 --> 01:03:21,896
"Wonder what it's like to die.

1327
01:03:21,931 --> 01:03:24,162
What do you feel like

1328
01:03:24,197 --> 01:03:29,904
in the days or hours
before you die?"

1329
01:03:29,939 --> 01:03:32,467
I'm curious.

1330
01:03:32,502 --> 01:03:34,403
When that time comes...

1331
01:03:34,438 --> 01:03:37,043
I say this, I don't know
if I'll follow through on it...

1332
01:03:37,078 --> 01:03:39,507
But I say I won't have any fear

1333
01:03:39,542 --> 01:03:43,280
because I've had
such a good life.

1334
01:03:43,315 --> 01:03:48,186
So, being 63 is
such a blessing to me.

1335
01:03:48,221 --> 01:03:50,452
My mother died when she was 46.

1336
01:03:50,487 --> 01:03:52,861
My grandmother died
when she was in her 40s.

1337
01:03:52,896 --> 01:03:56,194
And so, I really sort of
sweated that for a while.

1338
01:03:56,229 --> 01:03:59,230
Like, "Am I gonna
make it past there?"

1339
01:03:59,265 --> 01:04:02,134
Because it seems that
the women in my family

1340
01:04:02,169 --> 01:04:03,905
tended to die young.

1341
01:04:03,940 --> 01:04:06,435
And so I feel like every year

1342
01:04:06,470 --> 01:04:10,373
is a blessing
and an opportunity.

1343
01:04:10,408 --> 01:04:14,883
My idea about
senior citizens changed

1344
01:04:14,918 --> 01:04:16,412
after my mom died,

1345
01:04:16,447 --> 01:04:19,349
after watching the last
two years of her life,

1346
01:04:19,384 --> 01:04:21,318
watching my dad care for her,

1347
01:04:21,353 --> 01:04:25,388
watching how seniors are treated
in the healthcare system,

1348
01:04:25,423 --> 01:04:29,227
and without an advocate
how dismissed they can be,

1349
01:04:29,262 --> 01:04:33,330
how important it is
to advocate for seniors.

1350
01:04:33,365 --> 01:04:35,431
I don't know, resilience it's...

1351
01:04:35,466 --> 01:04:38,269
It's part of being a woman,

1352
01:04:38,304 --> 01:04:42,911
part of being not willing
to give up the ghost

1353
01:04:42,946 --> 01:04:44,407
and just stay in a corner

1354
01:04:44,442 --> 01:04:47,608
and be what people
think you should be.

1355
01:04:47,643 --> 01:04:50,215
The only way that we grow

1356
01:04:50,250 --> 01:04:53,119
is when we have
to deal with something

1357
01:04:53,154 --> 01:04:55,649
and solve a problem
and get past something,

1358
01:04:55,684 --> 01:04:57,156
even if it's failure.

1359
01:04:57,191 --> 01:05:01,127
Failure is a great impetus!

1360
01:05:04,627 --> 01:05:09,696
I began to understand things
on a deeper level about my life

1361
01:05:09,731 --> 01:05:12,600
and what created me,

1362
01:05:12,635 --> 01:05:15,042
and what I created myself.

1363
01:05:15,077 --> 01:05:17,473
You know, the challenge
of learning to write,

1364
01:05:17,508 --> 01:05:20,707
now I have a great
appreciation of writing

1365
01:05:20,742 --> 01:05:23,380
and understanding of that,

1366
01:05:23,415 --> 01:05:25,184
being able to write something.

1367
01:05:25,219 --> 01:05:26,515
I'm not the greatest writer,

1368
01:05:26,550 --> 01:05:29,584
but a wrote a decent book
that people seem to like

1369
01:05:29,619 --> 01:05:31,553
and read quickly.

1370
01:05:31,588 --> 01:05:32,961
Um...

1371
01:05:32,996 --> 01:05:34,457
♪

1372
01:05:34,492 --> 01:05:39,132
It's like... I guess
put a frame around

1373
01:05:39,167 --> 01:05:41,332
what happened to me and why,

1374
01:05:41,367 --> 01:05:44,533
and so now I can go on to, um,

1375
01:05:44,568 --> 01:05:48,075
not a new book,
but a new chapter in my life.

1376
01:05:48,110 --> 01:05:50,341
Well, I've been
traveling a lot...

1377
01:05:50,376 --> 01:05:52,112
♪

1378
01:05:52,147 --> 01:05:54,642
Because I was like...

1379
01:05:54,677 --> 01:05:58,448
There was a certain
level of imprisonment

1380
01:05:58,483 --> 01:06:00,483
with my husband's
being paralyzed.

1381
01:06:00,518 --> 01:06:03,288
I was also paralyzed
in a certain way.

1382
01:06:03,323 --> 01:06:06,621
Even though he tried
to give me a lot of freedom,

1383
01:06:06,656 --> 01:06:07,288
it was limited.

1384
01:06:07,324 --> 01:06:09,096
And I did do some traveling,

1385
01:06:09,131 --> 01:06:12,000
but I've been flying
like a bird.

1386
01:06:12,035 --> 01:06:15,069
♪

1387
01:06:15,104 --> 01:06:17,269
I've begun to date a little,

1388
01:06:17,304 --> 01:06:19,667
which is, um,

1389
01:06:19,702 --> 01:06:21,504
at first very shocking.

1390
01:06:21,539 --> 01:06:24,012
The first date I went
on very, you know,

1391
01:06:24,047 --> 01:06:28,478
within in the last six months,
I wasn't ready till then,

1392
01:06:28,513 --> 01:06:31,019
I was like, like 14 years old.

1393
01:06:31,054 --> 01:06:34,121
I was nervous, you know.

1394
01:06:34,156 --> 01:06:37,322
But the great thing is
how I'm different than 14

1395
01:06:37,357 --> 01:06:39,390
is that I know right away

1396
01:06:39,425 --> 01:06:41,062
what I like and don't like,

1397
01:06:41,097 --> 01:06:43,658
and if I'm interested
in somebody or I'm not.

1398
01:06:43,693 --> 01:06:46,661
And I don't, you know,
have any qualms about

1399
01:06:46,696 --> 01:06:48,168
saying "no,"

1400
01:06:48,203 --> 01:06:51,435
which I did
when I was much younger.

1401
01:06:51,470 --> 01:06:52,603
♪

1402
01:06:52,638 --> 01:06:56,704
I think you get definitely
better with age and experience.

1403
01:06:56,739 --> 01:06:58,178
Absolutely.

1404
01:06:58,213 --> 01:07:01,049
I mean, how could you not?

1405
01:07:01,084 --> 01:07:04,415
How could you not get better
with age and experience?

1406
01:07:04,450 --> 01:07:06,120
At the age of 60, you know,

1407
01:07:06,155 --> 01:07:08,353
you could be conceivably

1408
01:07:08,388 --> 01:07:10,586
only at your halfway point,

1409
01:07:10,621 --> 01:07:12,720
or a little bit past
your halfway point in life,

1410
01:07:12,755 --> 01:07:16,361
so that's a lot of
time left to do stuff.

1411
01:07:16,396 --> 01:07:18,594
But I think I would
tell my younger self that,

1412
01:07:18,629 --> 01:07:22,268
um, it'll get better in a week.

1413
01:07:22,303 --> 01:07:24,303
Whatever you're dealing with,

1414
01:07:24,338 --> 01:07:27,603
give it that good
week's worth of patience,

1415
01:07:27,638 --> 01:07:30,276
and things will be better
one way or the other.

1416
01:07:30,311 --> 01:07:32,443
I would say you
are absolutely right

1417
01:07:32,478 --> 01:07:36,711
to have tried to do
the best job that you could do

1418
01:07:36,746 --> 01:07:38,845
in whatever job you had,

1419
01:07:38,880 --> 01:07:42,420
that you should always go
one step farther,

1420
01:07:42,455 --> 01:07:45,720
that you need to deliver
not just enough, but more.

1421
01:07:45,755 --> 01:07:47,722
But there seems to be
this desperate need

1422
01:07:47,757 --> 01:07:51,165
to hold on to youth
as much as we possibly can,

1423
01:07:51,200 --> 01:07:54,564
and I don't know that
that's a very healthy thing.

1424
01:07:54,599 --> 01:07:56,280
I don't think we wanna
hold on to our youth,

1425
01:07:56,304 --> 01:07:59,470
we just wanna hold on to maybe

1426
01:07:59,505 --> 01:08:01,505
our youthful attitudes.

1427
01:08:01,540 --> 01:08:05,641
I don't see myself retiring.

1428
01:08:05,676 --> 01:08:07,478
I see myself as

1429
01:08:07,513 --> 01:08:09,513
maybe being able
to pick and choose

1430
01:08:09,548 --> 01:08:12,318
a little more selectively
about what I do.

1431
01:08:12,353 --> 01:08:13,748
I see myself teaching,

1432
01:08:13,783 --> 01:08:15,717
still teaching.

1433
01:08:15,752 --> 01:08:18,489
I don't wanna
ever stop teaching.

1434
01:08:18,524 --> 01:08:20,491
I don't wanna ever stop acting.

1435
01:08:20,526 --> 01:08:24,231
I always say I wanna die
one of three ways:

1436
01:08:24,266 --> 01:08:26,332
on stage,
in front of a classroom,

1437
01:08:26,367 --> 01:08:27,861
or having sex.

1438
01:08:29,064 --> 01:08:33,636
I realize about myself,
I know myself so much better.

1439
01:08:33,671 --> 01:08:35,737
I have such a creative spirit,

1440
01:08:35,772 --> 01:08:39,774
and I will always
have to create.

1441
01:08:39,809 --> 01:08:43,679
So what will happen
to me is unknown...

1442
01:08:43,714 --> 01:08:47,815
but I'm very open
to the unknown.

1443
01:08:47,850 --> 01:08:51,786
And that... as long as
you're not afraid of that,

1444
01:08:51,821 --> 01:08:53,755
I think things can happen.

1445
01:09:28,759 --> 01:09:36,759
♪

1446
01:09:43,873 --> 01:09:46,280
Where do you see
yourself when you're 60?

1447
01:09:46,315 --> 01:09:48,715
- Ooh, that's a good question.
- That's a ways away from now.

1448
01:09:48,746 --> 01:09:50,878
That's... that's
a little bit away.

1449
01:09:50,913 --> 01:09:52,484
Yeah.

1450
01:09:52,519 --> 01:09:54,618
Hopefully I'm still doing
really cool things.

1451
01:09:54,653 --> 01:09:57,753
I mean, I don't ever see myself
officially retiring,

1452
01:09:57,788 --> 01:09:59,623
or, you know,
being done with working.

1453
01:09:59,658 --> 01:10:02,263
I love having things to do,

1454
01:10:02,298 --> 01:10:03,759
and so even if I'm 60,

1455
01:10:03,794 --> 01:10:05,728
hopefully I'm still
healthy and good to go,

1456
01:10:05,763 --> 01:10:07,862
but I'd love to still be able to

1457
01:10:07,897 --> 01:10:09,996
run businesses,
help other people.

1458
01:10:10,031 --> 01:10:11,866
I still see myself working.

1459
01:10:11,901 --> 01:10:13,318
I don't know what
it's gonna be like.

1460
01:10:13,342 --> 01:10:14,242
That's really scary.

1461
01:10:14,277 --> 01:10:16,805
I think that... and I was not

1462
01:10:16,840 --> 01:10:18,741
born when my mom was born,
so I don't know

1463
01:10:18,776 --> 01:10:20,347
how women before
perceived aging,

1464
01:10:20,382 --> 01:10:23,746
but I feel like now because
things change so rapidly,

1465
01:10:23,781 --> 01:10:25,385
I feel so unsure

1466
01:10:25,420 --> 01:10:26,782
about what the world
will be like

1467
01:10:26,817 --> 01:10:28,652
and where I will be
in the world.

1468
01:10:28,687 --> 01:10:30,896
And that is so daunting to me
that when I hear that question,

1469
01:10:30,920 --> 01:10:32,953
I'm like, "But, what is
the world gonna be like?"

1470
01:10:32,988 --> 01:10:34,889
That would change everything.

1471
01:10:34,924 --> 01:10:37,562
It could change everything
for me in the next five years.

1472
01:10:37,597 --> 01:10:39,960
Yeah, I would say I'm curious,

1473
01:10:39,995 --> 01:10:44,503
but I definitely haven't
sat down and thought about it.

1474
01:10:44,538 --> 01:10:46,901
And anything,
any fears about aging?

1475
01:10:46,936 --> 01:10:50,036
When I was younger,
I was really scared

1476
01:10:50,071 --> 01:10:51,510
to turn 30.

1477
01:10:51,545 --> 01:10:53,809
- Really?
- I was really scared,

1478
01:10:53,844 --> 01:10:58,385
um, and I think it was
just my own vanity,

1479
01:10:58,420 --> 01:11:00,750
you know, of aging,

1480
01:11:00,785 --> 01:11:03,786
of who I was gonna be
at the age of 30.

1481
01:11:03,821 --> 01:11:06,921
What was my life
accomplishment at that point?

1482
01:11:06,956 --> 01:11:09,022
I don't know,
I feel like I think about...

1483
01:11:09,057 --> 01:11:13,367
I almost have... I think about
too much, like obsession

1484
01:11:13,402 --> 01:11:16,964
with what am I going to feel

1485
01:11:16,999 --> 01:11:19,637
when I'm five,
ten years from now?

1486
01:11:19,672 --> 01:11:21,067
What am I gonna feel
when I'm 40?

1487
01:11:21,102 --> 01:11:22,068
How am I going to get there?

1488
01:11:22,103 --> 01:11:24,906
And is it going to be
what I want it to be?

1489
01:11:24,941 --> 01:11:29,614
I get really frustrated when
people talk about age as, um,

1490
01:11:29,649 --> 01:11:31,715
as being this bad thing,

1491
01:11:31,750 --> 01:11:35,554
because everyone gets older.

1492
01:11:35,589 --> 01:11:36,819
Everyone experiences that,

1493
01:11:36,854 --> 01:11:39,393
and if not, then that's even

1494
01:11:39,428 --> 01:11:40,570
- more tragic.
- Well, it's much better,

1495
01:11:40,594 --> 01:11:41,956
much better
than the alternative.

1496
01:11:41,991 --> 01:11:43,892
Yes, exactly.

1497
01:11:43,927 --> 01:11:46,026
I really resent that

1498
01:11:46,061 --> 01:11:51,900
women's value is so
perceived by their age.

1499
01:11:51,935 --> 01:11:53,704
- Yes, I agree.
- I think that older people

1500
01:11:53,739 --> 01:11:56,003
in general underestimate it,

1501
01:11:56,038 --> 01:11:57,609
'cause they've
gone through so much,

1502
01:11:57,644 --> 01:11:59,644
and you have so much
to learn from them.

1503
01:11:59,679 --> 01:12:01,107
- Yeah.
- That's what I found

1504
01:12:01,142 --> 01:12:02,812
with my grandparents, so...

1505
01:12:02,847 --> 01:12:06,453
I love it when
I see women of any age,

1506
01:12:06,488 --> 01:12:08,422
especially, like,
above 60 saying

1507
01:12:08,457 --> 01:12:10,589
"No, I refuse to go under.

1508
01:12:10,624 --> 01:12:13,724
I refuse to become
'invisible.'"

1509
01:12:13,759 --> 01:12:15,792
I'm gonna be louder.

1510
01:12:15,827 --> 01:12:20,533
I'm gonna really advocate
for myself and women like me.

1511
01:12:20,568 --> 01:12:23,129
When I get older,
am I just gonna lose

1512
01:12:23,164 --> 01:12:24,999
my voice to tell stories too?

1513
01:12:25,034 --> 01:12:26,935
So, yeah, I mean,
I think it's really awful

1514
01:12:26,970 --> 01:12:29,575
because I think that
there's so much

1515
01:12:29,610 --> 01:12:31,610
to hear from older women.

1516
01:12:31,645 --> 01:12:33,073
Young people have to stop

1517
01:12:33,108 --> 01:12:35,141
thinking that older women are

1518
01:12:35,176 --> 01:12:39,046
just jaded and not
interested in their lives...

1519
01:12:39,081 --> 01:12:40,192
- Right.
- And older women have to

1520
01:12:40,216 --> 01:12:42,918
meet us halfway too,
and not think that we're just

1521
01:12:42,953 --> 01:12:44,623
stupid and attached
to our phones,

1522
01:12:44,658 --> 01:12:46,526
and always thinking
about the internet.

1523
01:12:46,561 --> 01:12:48,957
We are smart, we care,
we want to know.

1524
01:12:48,992 --> 01:12:51,498
We want to empathize
with your experience too.

1525
01:12:51,533 --> 01:12:53,093
I think that is, yeah,

1526
01:12:53,128 --> 01:12:55,161
it's like my thesis
statement about everything.

1527
01:12:55,196 --> 01:12:56,062
Do you feel like you've learned

1528
01:12:56,097 --> 01:12:57,966
from the women
that you've interviewed?

1529
01:12:58,001 --> 01:12:58,900
Absolutely!

1530
01:12:58,936 --> 01:13:02,542
You know, each of these
series of interviews

1531
01:13:02,577 --> 01:13:05,479
have given me more insight into

1532
01:13:05,514 --> 01:13:07,074
who I am and what I'm doing,

1533
01:13:07,109 --> 01:13:09,043
and why I did this.

1534
01:13:09,078 --> 01:13:12,684
And it gives me
this stronger sense of

1535
01:13:12,719 --> 01:13:15,786
how important
women's stories are.

1536
01:13:15,821 --> 01:13:17,590
Because if they can affect me,

1537
01:13:17,625 --> 01:13:20,791
they're gonna affect other
people that hear the stories,

1538
01:13:20,826 --> 01:13:22,991
and affect in a positive way

1539
01:13:23,026 --> 01:13:25,158
that will make you
think about yourself,

1540
01:13:25,193 --> 01:13:29,668
and really challenge how
you think about anything.

1541
01:13:31,969 --> 01:13:39,969
♪