1 00:00:02,000 --> 00:00:07,000 Downloaded from YTS.MX 2 00:00:08,000 --> 00:00:13,000 Official YIFY movies site: YTS.MX 3 00:00:08,420 --> 00:00:10,860 (JOYOUS ORCHESTRAL MUSIC) 4 00:00:30,180 --> 00:00:31,720 (PHONE RINGS) 5 00:00:31,820 --> 00:00:33,361 (SIREN WAILS, HORN HONKS) 6 00:00:33,461 --> 00:00:35,321 (PHONE CONTINUES RINGING) 7 00:00:35,421 --> 00:00:38,761 WOMAN: Emmy, it's your agent Leslie. 8 00:00:38,861 --> 00:00:41,801 Just checking how things are going with those new book ideas. 9 00:00:41,901 --> 00:00:44,801 I know, you're going through...things right now, 10 00:00:44,901 --> 00:00:47,041 but maybe getting back to writing will help. 11 00:00:47,141 --> 00:00:49,521 Anyway, stop ignoring. 12 00:00:49,621 --> 00:00:50,521 Oh! 13 00:00:50,621 --> 00:00:52,121 Say hi to your cousin for me. 14 00:00:52,221 --> 00:00:53,121 (DRIVER GROANS) 15 00:00:53,221 --> 00:00:54,361 (DOOR SHUTS) 16 00:00:54,461 --> 00:00:56,361 (AMERICAN ACCENT) Uh, JFK International, please. 17 00:00:56,461 --> 00:00:58,761 -So, where are you headed? -Oh, uh...Australia. 18 00:00:58,861 --> 00:01:00,601 Watch out for them drop bears. 19 00:01:00,701 --> 00:01:02,081 (IMITATES AUSSIE ACCENT) Australia! 20 00:01:02,181 --> 00:01:03,961 Where the hell are ya? 21 00:01:04,061 --> 00:01:06,802 I saw a crocodile this big! 22 00:01:06,902 --> 00:01:08,642 I'm sorry, sir... 23 00:01:08,742 --> 00:01:10,842 Do you mind if we just don't... 24 00:01:10,942 --> 00:01:12,942 (ORCHESTRAL MUSIC CONTINUES) 25 00:01:20,022 --> 00:01:23,402 (CACOPHONY OF ANIMAL SOUNDS) 26 00:01:23,502 --> 00:01:25,502 (SILENCE) 27 00:01:26,622 --> 00:01:28,822 (COCKATOO CAWS) 28 00:01:33,182 --> 00:01:35,262 The prodigy returns. 29 00:01:36,542 --> 00:01:38,523 Hey... 30 00:01:38,623 --> 00:01:40,623 (GENTLE MUSIC) 31 00:01:48,303 --> 00:01:50,583 (BIRDSONG) 32 00:01:55,783 --> 00:01:59,323 (WOMAN LAUGHS) Emmy! Put the camera down! 33 00:01:59,423 --> 00:02:02,743 Oh, what do you think? Isn't it wonderful? 34 00:02:08,143 --> 00:02:10,144 (LAUGHS) 35 00:02:16,304 --> 00:02:20,684 This is not a traditional memorial service. 36 00:02:20,784 --> 00:02:24,804 This is a celebration of life. 37 00:02:24,904 --> 00:02:27,444 My mother and namesake, 38 00:02:27,544 --> 00:02:28,764 Clementine Jones, 39 00:02:28,864 --> 00:02:31,324 was a force of nature. 40 00:02:31,424 --> 00:02:33,924 Six months after my dad died, 41 00:02:34,024 --> 00:02:35,444 she moved us here. 42 00:02:35,544 --> 00:02:37,844 She'd...she'd only ever grown herbs in a window box 43 00:02:37,944 --> 00:02:39,524 and...and then she bought this farm 44 00:02:39,624 --> 00:02:42,085 and it was rundown and ramshackle 45 00:02:42,185 --> 00:02:44,045 and, uh, and she moved us here 46 00:02:44,145 --> 00:02:46,625 to start over and, boy, did we. 47 00:02:48,025 --> 00:02:49,045 (SIGHS) 48 00:02:49,145 --> 00:02:51,145 Mom, we will... 49 00:02:51,945 --> 00:02:54,105 ..all miss you. 50 00:02:55,105 --> 00:02:57,045 To Mom! 51 00:02:57,145 --> 00:02:59,045 -To Aunt Clem. -To Clementine. 52 00:02:59,145 --> 00:03:01,825 (SHEEP BLEATS, ROOSTER CROWS) 53 00:03:02,865 --> 00:03:04,245 EMMY: I've missed you guys, you know. 54 00:03:04,345 --> 00:03:05,605 DAVID: Hmm. 55 00:03:05,705 --> 00:03:08,045 I will tell you that if I see a snake, 56 00:03:08,145 --> 00:03:10,565 I'm gonna have to get the hell out of here, though. 57 00:03:10,665 --> 00:03:12,665 OK. 58 00:03:13,425 --> 00:03:14,806 -Snake! -No! 59 00:03:14,906 --> 00:03:16,286 -(CHUCKLES) -Watch out! 60 00:03:16,386 --> 00:03:18,326 (EMMY SCREAMS) Stop it! 61 00:03:18,426 --> 00:03:20,526 -(MEN LAUGH) -I've had a long day. 62 00:03:20,626 --> 00:03:21,886 That's horrible. 63 00:03:21,986 --> 00:03:23,726 -Give me the champagne. -Oh. 64 00:03:23,826 --> 00:03:26,006 -EMMY: I've got heels on. -I got you, I got you. 65 00:03:26,106 --> 00:03:27,526 (MEN LAUGH) 66 00:03:27,626 --> 00:03:30,006 EMMY: Ooh, it's getting dark. Are you drinking my champagne? 67 00:03:30,106 --> 00:03:31,486 -(MILES GRUNTS) -Yeah, you know... 68 00:03:31,586 --> 00:03:35,506 -MILES: Hey, don't backwash. -DAVID: I don't mind it. 69 00:04:03,547 --> 00:04:05,587 (EMMY SIGHS) 70 00:04:06,627 --> 00:04:08,627 (EXHALES DEEPLY) 71 00:04:09,467 --> 00:04:10,847 (WHISPERS) Spider. 72 00:04:10,947 --> 00:04:13,007 (SHOUTS) Spider! 73 00:04:13,107 --> 00:04:15,827 Ohhh! Oh! Oh! Ohh. 74 00:04:16,827 --> 00:04:19,648 (BIRDS CALL OUT) 75 00:04:19,748 --> 00:04:22,668 (QUIRKY MUSIC) 76 00:04:23,668 --> 00:04:27,428 (CLUCKS) 77 00:04:29,668 --> 00:04:31,668 No. 78 00:04:32,428 --> 00:04:34,408 N-n-n-no. No. 79 00:04:34,508 --> 00:04:35,968 (CROWS) 80 00:04:36,068 --> 00:04:38,208 Why is the rooster in my bedroom?! 81 00:04:38,308 --> 00:04:39,488 (SCREAMS) 82 00:04:39,588 --> 00:04:41,488 Your mum started keeping him inside at night 83 00:04:41,588 --> 00:04:42,688 so he wouldn't crow. 84 00:04:42,788 --> 00:04:43,808 (DOOR OPENS) 85 00:04:43,908 --> 00:04:45,528 Works like a charm! 86 00:04:45,628 --> 00:04:46,968 -Ugh! -(CLUCKS) 87 00:04:47,068 --> 00:04:49,808 -(CHUCKLES) -I know, right? 88 00:04:49,908 --> 00:04:51,129 (SIPS FROM CUP) 89 00:04:51,229 --> 00:04:53,229 (COW LOWS) 90 00:04:54,869 --> 00:04:56,869 (DOOR OPENS) 91 00:04:58,429 --> 00:05:00,649 -Hey. -Hey. 92 00:05:00,749 --> 00:05:03,049 Oh, you found Clementine's journals. 93 00:05:03,149 --> 00:05:04,329 (LAUGHS) Yeah. 94 00:05:04,429 --> 00:05:06,889 Some of the ideas in here are just... 95 00:05:06,989 --> 00:05:11,169 Ahh, Clem was a wellness pioneer before that was even a thing. 96 00:05:11,269 --> 00:05:13,089 Herbal remedies. 97 00:05:13,189 --> 00:05:14,689 Animal therapies. 98 00:05:14,789 --> 00:05:18,449 And, uh, naked moonlight dips in a lake filled with yabbies. 99 00:05:18,549 --> 00:05:19,569 (LAUGHS) 100 00:05:19,669 --> 00:05:23,610 I had no idea how wild she was, you know? 101 00:05:23,710 --> 00:05:26,510 She actually swore that could cure anything. 102 00:05:27,750 --> 00:05:30,350 (DAVID SIGHS) 103 00:05:32,150 --> 00:05:35,290 -I know you hate the farm. -Oh, no, no. 104 00:05:35,390 --> 00:05:36,850 -I don't hate the farm. -(LAUGHS) 105 00:05:36,950 --> 00:05:38,890 Oh, you have always hated... 106 00:05:38,990 --> 00:05:40,330 -I... No, no. -..hated... 107 00:05:40,430 --> 00:05:41,770 I hate parts of the farm. 108 00:05:41,870 --> 00:05:43,530 You know, I'm just... I'm... 109 00:05:43,630 --> 00:05:46,970 I'm not a farmy person, which is why I moved to New York. 110 00:05:47,070 --> 00:05:48,370 You know, it's not my... 111 00:05:48,470 --> 00:05:49,570 Hmm. 112 00:05:49,670 --> 00:05:51,330 Have you ever noticed everything around here 113 00:05:51,430 --> 00:05:52,970 is trying to actually kill me? 114 00:05:53,070 --> 00:05:55,331 Um...that's in your head. 115 00:05:55,431 --> 00:05:58,051 No, that...that is a fact. 116 00:05:58,151 --> 00:05:59,371 Hmm. 117 00:05:59,471 --> 00:06:04,991 I just hope somehow we can hold on to the place. 118 00:06:07,151 --> 00:06:09,151 How bad is it? 119 00:06:09,631 --> 00:06:13,051 Your mum took out so many loans and she hadn't paid them off. 120 00:06:13,151 --> 00:06:17,491 She was a genius when it came to a lot of things at Fig Tree, 121 00:06:17,591 --> 00:06:20,211 but when it came to finances, she's... 122 00:06:20,311 --> 00:06:22,311 Stubborn. 123 00:06:23,191 --> 00:06:25,191 Like a mule. 124 00:06:29,232 --> 00:06:30,932 (CHIMES PLAY ON P.A.) 125 00:06:31,032 --> 00:06:33,972 P.A.: Attention, passengers, flight QL12 to New York 126 00:06:34,072 --> 00:06:36,252 is now boarding at Gate 3. 127 00:06:36,352 --> 00:06:37,892 LESLIE: Ah, you're killing me. 128 00:06:37,992 --> 00:06:40,332 Em, I need those pages. You promised. 129 00:06:40,432 --> 00:06:42,492 EMMY: Listen, I promise you you will have a book 130 00:06:42,592 --> 00:06:44,332 as soon as I land, OK? 131 00:06:44,432 --> 00:06:46,332 Stop getting so wrapped up in your head. 132 00:06:46,432 --> 00:06:48,332 It doesn't matter what your book is about. 133 00:06:48,432 --> 00:06:50,332 You need to get your name out there again 134 00:06:50,432 --> 00:06:52,332 because I can't do my job if you don't do yours! 135 00:06:52,432 --> 00:06:54,372 (GROANS) Listen to me, Leslie. I will get you... 136 00:06:54,472 --> 00:06:58,172 (GROANS) ..the pages within 48 hours, OK? 137 00:06:58,272 --> 00:07:01,733 48 hours. Just give me 48 hours and you will have a book. 138 00:07:01,833 --> 00:07:03,893 OK? I promise. Excuse me. 139 00:07:03,993 --> 00:07:06,013 You'd better not be drinking again on this flight. 140 00:07:06,113 --> 00:07:07,613 No. No drinking. 141 00:07:07,713 --> 00:07:08,773 I'm drinking! 142 00:07:08,873 --> 00:07:10,133 Book. Write it. 'Bye. 143 00:07:10,233 --> 00:07:11,573 I'll call you later. 144 00:07:11,673 --> 00:07:12,573 'Bye. 145 00:07:12,673 --> 00:07:14,673 'Bye. 146 00:07:15,153 --> 00:07:17,153 (TYPES ON KEYBOARD) 147 00:07:24,953 --> 00:07:26,953 (INHALES) 148 00:07:30,753 --> 00:07:32,934 (GENTLE MUSIC) 149 00:07:33,034 --> 00:07:34,374 CLEMENTINE: Emmy? 150 00:07:34,474 --> 00:07:35,534 Come on. 151 00:07:35,634 --> 00:07:37,574 (LAUGHS) See ya, Brissie! 152 00:07:37,674 --> 00:07:40,314 -Wouldn't wanna be ya! -(LAUGHS) 153 00:07:41,314 --> 00:07:44,494 We'll grow our vegetables in the soil right here 154 00:07:44,594 --> 00:07:47,254 and we'll get our eggs from the chickens in there. 155 00:07:47,354 --> 00:07:49,174 And our milk from the cows. 156 00:07:49,274 --> 00:07:51,274 YOUNG EMMY: But there's nothing out here. 157 00:07:53,554 --> 00:07:55,554 You wanna know what I see? 158 00:07:57,554 --> 00:07:59,554 Possibilities. 159 00:08:01,394 --> 00:08:03,654 Possibilities. 160 00:08:03,754 --> 00:08:05,015 (SIREN WAILS) 161 00:08:05,115 --> 00:08:07,535 ♪ You all know you ain't doing nothing with this 162 00:08:07,635 --> 00:08:09,295 ♪ Let's get it! Come on 163 00:08:09,395 --> 00:08:11,655 ♪ Go 164 00:08:11,755 --> 00:08:14,015 ♪ I'm making plays Never leave the game 165 00:08:14,115 --> 00:08:16,735 ♪ Only do it for the love I don't need the fame 166 00:08:16,835 --> 00:08:18,535 ♪ I'm making plays Always keep the faith 167 00:08:18,635 --> 00:08:20,935 ♪ Yeah, we out for the dub I'mma lead the way... ♪ 168 00:08:21,035 --> 00:08:23,095 WOMAN: Welcome to London & London. 169 00:08:23,195 --> 00:08:25,175 ♪ Making plays, making plays I'm the man, uh 170 00:08:25,275 --> 00:08:27,375 ♪ I'm making plays Never leave the game 171 00:08:27,475 --> 00:08:30,135 ♪ Only do it for the love I don't need the fame 172 00:08:30,235 --> 00:08:32,535 ♪ I'm making plays Always keep the faith 173 00:08:32,635 --> 00:08:35,215 ♪ Yeah, we out for the dub I'mma lead the way 174 00:08:35,315 --> 00:08:37,016 -♪ I'm making plays... ♪ -WOMAN: Oh, excuse me. 175 00:08:37,116 --> 00:08:38,616 Just one second. 176 00:08:38,716 --> 00:08:41,096 On the phone to Grisham. Give me five minutes. 177 00:08:41,196 --> 00:08:43,896 Yeah, 'cause you know what he's like. (BABBLES) 178 00:08:43,996 --> 00:08:45,536 ♪ While you fade away 179 00:08:45,636 --> 00:08:47,496 ♪ I'm making plays Never leave the game 180 00:08:47,596 --> 00:08:49,896 ♪ Only do it for the love I don't need the fame 181 00:08:49,996 --> 00:08:52,576 ♪ I'm making plays Always keep the faith 182 00:08:52,676 --> 00:08:55,416 ♪ Yeah, we out for the dub I'mma lead the way... ♪ 183 00:08:55,516 --> 00:08:56,696 (DOOR SLAMS) 184 00:08:56,796 --> 00:08:58,576 Oh. Hmm. Hey. 185 00:08:58,676 --> 00:09:00,416 Hope I'm not interrupting anything. 186 00:09:00,516 --> 00:09:01,856 Not at all. Come in. 187 00:09:01,956 --> 00:09:03,216 You look like roadkill. 188 00:09:03,316 --> 00:09:05,176 I feel great! 189 00:09:05,276 --> 00:09:06,336 Jackson! 190 00:09:06,436 --> 00:09:07,776 Mother... 191 00:09:07,876 --> 00:09:11,337 Our sales are sliding past the point I consider acceptable. 192 00:09:11,437 --> 00:09:14,097 Hmm. Which reflects badly... 193 00:09:14,197 --> 00:09:15,897 BOTH: Badly on our stockholders. 194 00:09:15,997 --> 00:09:16,937 Yeah. 195 00:09:17,037 --> 00:09:18,817 London & London needs new material. 196 00:09:18,917 --> 00:09:22,337 Hmm. Yeah. We do, don't we? (SMACKS LIPS) 197 00:09:22,437 --> 00:09:25,177 (CLICKS TONGUE) I got it. 198 00:09:25,277 --> 00:09:27,177 Why don't we get all these people out there 199 00:09:27,277 --> 00:09:28,897 that we pay all the money to 200 00:09:28,997 --> 00:09:32,977 to do their job and find us a great novel? 201 00:09:33,077 --> 00:09:36,337 Because I pay you a lot more, for some reason. 202 00:09:36,437 --> 00:09:37,937 -And since I appreciate it... -You do. 203 00:09:38,037 --> 00:09:40,137 ..if you occasionally did something 204 00:09:40,237 --> 00:09:42,298 that warranted me giving you this office... 205 00:09:42,398 --> 00:09:44,298 You mean the closet with a view? 206 00:09:44,398 --> 00:09:46,878 ..I'd like you to go find the new material. 207 00:09:51,038 --> 00:09:53,178 Oh, you're serious. (LAUGHS) 208 00:09:53,278 --> 00:09:54,818 Uh, yeah. 209 00:09:54,918 --> 00:09:56,258 Sure. 210 00:09:56,358 --> 00:09:58,818 Uh...I do have, 211 00:09:58,918 --> 00:10:01,578 uh, a 2pm at Momofuku. 212 00:10:01,678 --> 00:10:03,098 Very important lunch. 213 00:10:03,198 --> 00:10:04,618 But as soon as that's done, 214 00:10:04,718 --> 00:10:06,718 Janet and I will get straight on that. 215 00:10:07,678 --> 00:10:09,678 Was there anything else? 216 00:10:10,678 --> 00:10:11,858 -(BEEP!) -Janet. 217 00:10:11,958 --> 00:10:14,139 Cancel Jackson's 2 o'clock. 218 00:10:14,239 --> 00:10:16,019 He has reading to do. 219 00:10:16,119 --> 00:10:17,939 -JANET: Yes, Ms London. -(CHUCKLES) 220 00:10:18,039 --> 00:10:23,059 Yeah. Disregard, Janet. That was a joke. (LAUGHS) 221 00:10:23,159 --> 00:10:25,299 -(BEEP!) -Janet... (CHUCKLES) 222 00:10:25,399 --> 00:10:28,459 -..it's no joke. -Yes, Ms London. 223 00:10:28,559 --> 00:10:30,059 That was just mean, Ellison. 224 00:10:30,159 --> 00:10:32,159 It's time to grow up. 225 00:10:32,719 --> 00:10:33,819 (PHONES RING OUTSIDE) 226 00:10:33,919 --> 00:10:35,919 -(DOOR CLOSES) -Hmm. 227 00:10:36,959 --> 00:10:38,959 -(BEEP!) -Don't cancel... 228 00:10:41,239 --> 00:10:43,239 Nothing. All good. 229 00:10:44,759 --> 00:10:46,880 -(SOFT ORCHESTRAL MUSIC) -(SIREN WAILS) 230 00:10:53,320 --> 00:10:56,120 I gotta... I gotta get out of here. That's what I gotta do. 231 00:10:57,120 --> 00:10:59,540 You want to get a pizza or something? 232 00:10:59,640 --> 00:11:01,140 Open up your phone and just... 233 00:11:01,240 --> 00:11:03,240 -..swipe right. -(APP CHIMES) 234 00:11:04,200 --> 00:11:06,300 Hello, Daniel. 235 00:11:06,400 --> 00:11:08,400 (FUNKY MUSIC PLAYS) 236 00:11:18,281 --> 00:11:20,781 EMMY: What's good in here? Hoo! 237 00:11:20,881 --> 00:11:22,701 You sound like a lady on a mission. 238 00:11:22,801 --> 00:11:25,261 I do? Well, you don't seem like Daniel. 239 00:11:25,361 --> 00:11:26,941 -I'm not Daniel. -No. 240 00:11:27,041 --> 00:11:31,381 -Blind date? -No! Not a blind date. (LAUGHS) 241 00:11:31,481 --> 00:11:33,701 I-I-I swiped right. Do you mind... 242 00:11:33,801 --> 00:11:36,421 -Oh. (MUTTERS) -Just a little Dutch courage. 243 00:11:36,521 --> 00:11:37,621 -(LAUGHS) -Mm-hm. 244 00:11:37,721 --> 00:11:39,721 Uh-huh. 245 00:11:40,241 --> 00:11:42,241 You are on a mission. 246 00:11:43,041 --> 00:11:44,701 -Agh! Oh! -OK. 247 00:11:44,801 --> 00:11:47,061 What...is that? 248 00:11:47,161 --> 00:11:49,461 -Boulevardier, mademoiselle. -Mmm. 249 00:11:49,561 --> 00:11:52,862 Wow. Did you get that out of an 'Esquire' article or something? 250 00:11:52,962 --> 00:11:54,342 -Yeah. -What? 251 00:11:54,442 --> 00:11:55,702 -I actually did. -Oh, wow. 252 00:11:55,802 --> 00:11:56,942 -That seems so... Yeah. -Yeah. 253 00:11:57,042 --> 00:11:58,942 -..worth the hangover. -Yeah. 254 00:11:59,042 --> 00:12:01,862 Doesn't even matter because my mother, 255 00:12:01,962 --> 00:12:04,222 she had this, um, hangover remedy - 256 00:12:04,322 --> 00:12:06,942 apple cider vinegar and milk. 257 00:12:07,042 --> 00:12:10,102 And you know what? Cures a hangover like... (SNAPS) 258 00:12:10,202 --> 00:12:13,582 -One, two, three. Go! Shoot! -(FUNKY MUSIC) 259 00:12:13,682 --> 00:12:15,542 -One, two, three, shoot. -Uh-huh. 260 00:12:15,642 --> 00:12:17,902 Mmm! Mmm. Mmm. 261 00:12:18,002 --> 00:12:19,582 ♪ You got me like, hey, uh-uh... ♪ 262 00:12:19,682 --> 00:12:20,582 Ugh! 263 00:12:20,682 --> 00:12:22,383 -Next one, go! -Again? 264 00:12:22,483 --> 00:12:23,503 Oh, my God. 265 00:12:23,603 --> 00:12:25,183 ♪ Uh-uh, come on... ♪ 266 00:12:25,283 --> 00:12:26,663 -I feel good... -..this drunk. 267 00:12:26,763 --> 00:12:28,583 -Oooh! -♪ You got me like, hey... ♪ 268 00:12:28,683 --> 00:12:30,863 (JACK MUTTERS) 269 00:12:30,963 --> 00:12:32,503 -EMMY: Oh, my God! -I don't dance. 270 00:12:32,603 --> 00:12:34,543 -I love this song. -I really don't dance. 271 00:12:34,643 --> 00:12:36,943 -No, no, no, no. -Whoo! 272 00:12:37,043 --> 00:12:38,583 ('BLUE (DA DA BEE)' BY EIFFEL 65 PLAYS) 273 00:12:38,683 --> 00:12:40,383 Back it up. Back it up. Back it up. 274 00:12:40,483 --> 00:12:41,983 -Oh, wow. Yeah. -Yeah! 275 00:12:42,083 --> 00:12:43,503 (ALL LAUGH) 276 00:12:43,603 --> 00:12:45,143 JACK: How could he not love you? 277 00:12:45,243 --> 00:12:48,023 ♪ I'm blue Da ba dee da ba di 278 00:12:48,123 --> 00:12:50,183 ♪ Da ba dee da ba di... ♪ 279 00:12:50,283 --> 00:12:52,983 WOMAN: Where are her shoes? 280 00:12:53,083 --> 00:12:56,864 -OK, yep. Uh-huh. Yep. -Yay. Yep! Spin. Whoo! 281 00:12:56,964 --> 00:12:58,584 -Alright, here we go. -Can't believe... 282 00:12:58,684 --> 00:13:00,064 Ching-ching! 283 00:13:00,164 --> 00:13:03,324 -Oh. -Mmm! Mm. 284 00:13:04,484 --> 00:13:06,984 -What? -(GROANS) 285 00:13:07,084 --> 00:13:09,104 (LAUGHS) 286 00:13:09,204 --> 00:13:10,824 What is that? 287 00:13:10,924 --> 00:13:12,544 -(LAUGHS) -(EXHALES) It's ridiculous. 288 00:13:12,644 --> 00:13:14,544 I can't believe you got me so drunk. 289 00:13:14,644 --> 00:13:18,084 -Do you hold your pinkie out? -I do, I do. (LAUGHS) 290 00:13:19,844 --> 00:13:22,424 That's Daniel, my swipe right. 291 00:13:22,524 --> 00:13:25,864 Oh, God! Oh, God. He's really short. 292 00:13:25,964 --> 00:13:28,305 And also he's an hour late. Two hours later. 293 00:13:28,405 --> 00:13:30,105 -Maybe three hours late! -You swiped right on that? 294 00:13:30,205 --> 00:13:32,305 EMMY: He's looking over here! Hide me! Hide me! 295 00:13:32,405 --> 00:13:33,745 -JACK: Hide! -Hide. 296 00:13:33,845 --> 00:13:35,885 -EMMY: Ooh! Oh! -Mmm. 297 00:13:37,125 --> 00:13:38,705 EMMY: Mmm. 298 00:13:38,805 --> 00:13:42,605 ('WAITING HERE FOR YOU' BY BENEDICT LAMDIN & RIAAN VOSLOO) 299 00:13:45,325 --> 00:13:48,125 -OK. -Hello. (LAUGHS) 300 00:13:49,965 --> 00:13:51,665 -EMMY: Oh, my God. -(JACK LAUGHS) 301 00:13:51,765 --> 00:13:53,145 -EMMY: That view! -Terrible, huh? 302 00:13:53,245 --> 00:13:56,625 -Oh...wow. -Terrible view. 303 00:13:56,725 --> 00:13:58,725 Yeah, that... Mmm. 304 00:13:59,766 --> 00:14:02,466 (ELECTRONIC MUSIC PLAYS) 305 00:14:02,566 --> 00:14:05,026 (EMMY MOANS) 306 00:14:05,126 --> 00:14:06,546 -Whoa! -(JACK LAUGHS) 307 00:14:06,646 --> 00:14:08,226 Did you just turn on music 308 00:14:08,326 --> 00:14:09,986 and change the lighting with your watch? 309 00:14:10,086 --> 00:14:12,146 Yeah. 310 00:14:12,246 --> 00:14:14,246 -(LAUGHS) -(LAUGHS) What? 311 00:14:14,966 --> 00:14:17,866 -No, you didn't. You did? -Too much? 312 00:14:17,966 --> 00:14:20,466 (EMMY LAUGHS) No, it's just that... 313 00:14:20,566 --> 00:14:23,626 Does that usually work with all the, um, ladies 314 00:14:23,726 --> 00:14:26,826 you bring back to this perfectly curated apartment? 315 00:14:26,926 --> 00:14:28,866 -I haven't had many complaints. -Wow. 316 00:14:28,966 --> 00:14:32,267 Well, probably not with that sexy Sean Connery accent. 317 00:14:32,367 --> 00:14:34,347 (IMITATES SEAN CONNERY) Oh, nobody had a sexy accent 318 00:14:34,447 --> 00:14:35,667 like Sean Connery. 319 00:14:35,767 --> 00:14:37,107 -That's good. -Miss Moneypenny. 320 00:14:37,207 --> 00:14:39,107 -(LAUGHS) -Anyway, he's from Edinburgh. 321 00:14:39,207 --> 00:14:40,667 I'm from Carnoustie. 322 00:14:40,767 --> 00:14:42,587 -From where? -Carnoustie. 323 00:14:42,687 --> 00:14:45,187 -Say it again. -Carnoustie. 324 00:14:45,287 --> 00:14:47,107 -Say it again... -Carnoustie. 325 00:14:47,207 --> 00:14:48,707 -(LAUGHS) -(JACK LAUGHS) 326 00:14:48,807 --> 00:14:50,787 JACK: Mmm. Mmm. 327 00:14:50,887 --> 00:14:52,787 You got any bedrooms in this joint? 328 00:14:52,887 --> 00:14:54,887 -Several. -Let's go. 329 00:14:56,287 --> 00:14:58,287 (HORNS HONK OUTSIDE) 330 00:15:06,328 --> 00:15:07,708 (EMMY SCREAMS) 331 00:15:07,808 --> 00:15:11,148 (RELAXED MUSIC) 332 00:15:11,248 --> 00:15:13,488 Yes! He has milk. 333 00:15:20,048 --> 00:15:22,048 (STAMPS FOOT) 334 00:15:39,529 --> 00:15:42,469 Ooh! Hi, babe. Your timing's great. 335 00:15:42,569 --> 00:15:44,869 I just finished the book and now I'm starving. 336 00:15:44,969 --> 00:15:46,969 (SIGHS) It's cold out there. 337 00:15:47,849 --> 00:15:50,029 LESLIE: Don't take this personally. 338 00:15:50,129 --> 00:15:51,949 All I got was rejection letters 339 00:15:52,049 --> 00:15:54,469 from the publishing houses that even bothered to reply. 340 00:15:54,569 --> 00:15:57,429 It's just not compelling enough in today's world. 341 00:15:57,529 --> 00:15:59,429 No, no. How is that possible? 342 00:15:59,529 --> 00:16:01,989 My guess is that it's...dated. 343 00:16:02,089 --> 00:16:04,429 I mean, it needs to take place now! 344 00:16:04,529 --> 00:16:05,789 -No. -Yes. 345 00:16:05,889 --> 00:16:07,749 People want a guru, someone they can... 346 00:16:07,849 --> 00:16:09,710 ..they can emulate in these weird times. 347 00:16:09,810 --> 00:16:12,910 A dead lady can't write a sequel or do a spin-off cookbook 348 00:16:13,010 --> 00:16:15,190 or make TikToks or go on Instagram Live. 349 00:16:15,290 --> 00:16:17,230 I don't want to go on Instagram or make TikToks. 350 00:16:17,330 --> 00:16:18,710 I don't want to be an influencer. 351 00:16:18,810 --> 00:16:20,190 -Yes! You...do. -I just want... 352 00:16:20,290 --> 00:16:22,030 A brand. 353 00:16:22,130 --> 00:16:24,310 If you really want to make this work, 354 00:16:24,410 --> 00:16:28,430 you need to write this book in the first person. 355 00:16:28,530 --> 00:16:31,190 -What? -You become your mother. 356 00:16:31,290 --> 00:16:33,270 It's a slam dunk. 357 00:16:33,370 --> 00:16:35,390 No, no... Uh, but... It's... 358 00:16:35,490 --> 00:16:39,470 (LAUGHS) I'm so sorry. Let me just...get this straight. 359 00:16:39,570 --> 00:16:43,991 You want me to take my dead mother's memoir 360 00:16:44,091 --> 00:16:46,471 and write it as my own? 361 00:16:46,571 --> 00:16:48,551 That I'm living in the present day? 362 00:16:48,651 --> 00:16:50,031 Yes! 363 00:16:50,131 --> 00:16:53,271 And then the little girl in the book who was me as a child 364 00:16:53,371 --> 00:16:56,111 becomes my pretend daughter? 365 00:16:56,211 --> 00:16:58,791 -Precisely. -OK. Alright. 366 00:16:58,891 --> 00:17:00,891 Yeah, just, uh, hang on. 367 00:17:01,691 --> 00:17:03,631 Do you want to spend the rest of your life 368 00:17:03,731 --> 00:17:05,271 wondering who you could have been 369 00:17:05,371 --> 00:17:07,231 or do you want to get this book published 370 00:17:07,331 --> 00:17:10,591 and save the Emu Fig Creek Farm Springs? 371 00:17:10,691 --> 00:17:12,711 It's Fig Tree Farm in Emu Springs. 372 00:17:12,811 --> 00:17:14,512 And, yes, I want to save it! 373 00:17:14,612 --> 00:17:16,392 Do you guys still take Groupon? 374 00:17:16,492 --> 00:17:19,472 -They never took Groupon. -It's 50% off. 375 00:17:19,572 --> 00:17:21,232 (WHISPERS) Don't listen to her. 376 00:17:21,332 --> 00:17:23,892 (TRAFFIC NOISES) 377 00:17:25,172 --> 00:17:27,172 (QUIRKY MUSIC) 378 00:17:29,932 --> 00:17:31,932 Alright. 379 00:17:32,572 --> 00:17:34,572 If only it were true. 380 00:17:35,372 --> 00:17:37,372 (PHONE RINGS) 381 00:17:39,372 --> 00:17:41,312 (DOOR OPENS) 382 00:17:41,412 --> 00:17:42,832 JACK: Brrr! 383 00:17:42,932 --> 00:17:45,012 (JACK CLICKS TONGUE) 384 00:17:48,013 --> 00:17:49,433 Hmm. 385 00:17:49,533 --> 00:17:51,513 -Ah! -Hello, Janet. 386 00:17:51,613 --> 00:17:53,033 Got my homework? 387 00:17:53,133 --> 00:17:56,113 I think your mother is trying to make a point. 388 00:17:56,213 --> 00:17:58,393 -Ohhh...you're joking. -(LAUGHS HEARTILY) 389 00:17:58,493 --> 00:18:00,553 What's this manuscript here everyone's reading? 390 00:18:00,653 --> 00:18:03,433 'Clementine'. I put it on the top for you. 391 00:18:03,533 --> 00:18:05,913 -Oh, you're a wee gem, Janet. -(CHUCKLES) 392 00:18:06,013 --> 00:18:07,713 -A wee gem! -(CHUCKLES) 393 00:18:07,813 --> 00:18:09,793 -As you were. -Thank you. 394 00:18:09,893 --> 00:18:11,233 See you, Rachel. 395 00:18:11,333 --> 00:18:13,533 Jim Bob. (MAKES POPPING NOISE) 396 00:18:17,654 --> 00:18:19,154 YOUNG EMMY: Why are they acting so weird? 397 00:18:19,254 --> 00:18:21,514 CLEMENTINE: Crazy dancing is how hens and roosters 398 00:18:21,614 --> 00:18:23,034 know they love each other. 399 00:18:23,134 --> 00:18:24,754 Yuck! 400 00:18:24,854 --> 00:18:28,874 If that's love, I hope I never catch it. 401 00:18:28,974 --> 00:18:32,434 CLEMENTINE: I promise one day you'll change your mind on that. 402 00:18:32,534 --> 00:18:35,514 -(BELL RINGS) -Ho, ho, ho! Merry Christmas! 403 00:18:35,614 --> 00:18:37,834 -(COINS CLINK) -Merry Christmas. 404 00:18:37,934 --> 00:18:39,714 YOUNG EMMY: Here's some words of wisdom 405 00:18:39,814 --> 00:18:42,274 from Clementine on the farm. 406 00:18:42,374 --> 00:18:44,234 I don't want to be on camera. 407 00:18:44,334 --> 00:18:45,834 YOUNG EMMY: You have to talk. 408 00:18:45,934 --> 00:18:48,434 I'm recording. 409 00:18:48,534 --> 00:18:52,795 -What do you want me to say? -Anything. Just talk. 410 00:18:52,895 --> 00:18:54,915 Well... 411 00:18:55,015 --> 00:18:58,395 ..here we are one year into our Fig Tree adventure 412 00:18:58,495 --> 00:19:00,635 and I have lots of updates for you. 413 00:19:00,735 --> 00:19:02,235 (GROANS) 414 00:19:02,335 --> 00:19:06,515 Perhaps you want to see our very, very delicious vegetables 415 00:19:06,615 --> 00:19:09,075 picked fresh from the garden. 416 00:19:09,175 --> 00:19:12,155 Because you know what I say about good food. 417 00:19:12,255 --> 00:19:13,235 (BEEP!) 418 00:19:13,335 --> 00:19:14,595 Good food made great... 419 00:19:14,695 --> 00:19:15,915 (SIGHS) 420 00:19:16,015 --> 00:19:17,355 ..turns any frown... 421 00:19:17,455 --> 00:19:19,455 CLEMENTINE AND YOUNG EMMY: ..upside down! 422 00:19:20,615 --> 00:19:22,616 (MOBILE BUZZES) 423 00:19:27,496 --> 00:19:28,716 Hello? 424 00:19:28,816 --> 00:19:31,316 I have London & London on the line. 425 00:19:31,416 --> 00:19:32,796 They want your 'Clementine' book! 426 00:19:32,896 --> 00:19:34,996 -And they want it bad, babes. -What? 427 00:19:35,096 --> 00:19:37,116 My pitch was note-perfect - they even believed me 428 00:19:37,216 --> 00:19:38,996 when I said we were still fielding offers. 429 00:19:39,096 --> 00:19:41,476 Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. What...what is the offer? 430 00:19:41,576 --> 00:19:43,156 Well, they started at 250,000. 431 00:19:43,256 --> 00:19:44,996 A quarter of a million dollars! 432 00:19:45,096 --> 00:19:46,636 Let's take it! Take it, Leslie. 433 00:19:46,736 --> 00:19:49,396 Are you crazy? You never take the first offer. 434 00:19:49,496 --> 00:19:51,756 -Let me do my thing. -No, no, no, no, no! 435 00:19:51,856 --> 00:19:53,276 I'm putting you on hold. 436 00:19:53,376 --> 00:19:55,197 -No! -Are you still there? 437 00:19:55,297 --> 00:19:57,717 -Still here. -So, I just talked to my client. 438 00:19:57,817 --> 00:19:59,757 And...she wants more money. 439 00:19:59,857 --> 00:20:03,957 250 grand is very, very generous for a first-time author. 440 00:20:04,057 --> 00:20:05,397 LESLIE: Are you kidding me? 441 00:20:05,497 --> 00:20:08,117 This isn't some vampire stiletto airport trash. 442 00:20:08,217 --> 00:20:10,437 We're all on the same page there. Uh... 443 00:20:10,537 --> 00:20:12,317 What's your counter? I need a number. 444 00:20:12,417 --> 00:20:13,877 2 million. 445 00:20:13,977 --> 00:20:15,917 (LAUGHS) OK. You're not serious. 446 00:20:16,017 --> 00:20:17,597 Oh! Hello? -(PHONE DROPS) 447 00:20:17,697 --> 00:20:21,477 -We can go to, um, 500,000. -No, no! No, no, no! 448 00:20:21,577 --> 00:20:22,957 Oh! 449 00:20:23,057 --> 00:20:24,957 Tell me what other publishing houses are interested. 450 00:20:25,057 --> 00:20:26,958 -Maybe we can match them. -Oh, my God. 451 00:20:27,058 --> 00:20:29,158 No. No, no, no, no, no, no, no! 452 00:20:29,258 --> 00:20:31,318 No, no, no! Not now! 453 00:20:31,418 --> 00:20:33,478 Listen, London & London are very... 454 00:20:33,578 --> 00:20:34,598 Hello? 455 00:20:34,698 --> 00:20:36,038 ..very serious about acquiring the rights 456 00:20:36,138 --> 00:20:37,038 to this book. 457 00:20:37,138 --> 00:20:38,798 I can go to 750,000. 458 00:20:38,898 --> 00:20:41,038 Uh, we are taking other offers, 459 00:20:41,138 --> 00:20:42,838 talking to many other publishers. 460 00:20:42,938 --> 00:20:45,418 Lots of money. We want... We want all the money. 461 00:20:46,418 --> 00:20:50,918 Look, listen, all I can pay maximum is $1 million. 462 00:20:51,018 --> 00:20:53,598 That is a final offer. It's take it or leave it. 463 00:20:53,698 --> 00:20:55,798 -A million bucks? -A million dollars?! 464 00:20:55,898 --> 00:20:58,318 -Who's that? -Take it. We're taking it. 465 00:20:58,418 --> 00:21:00,439 -Wait. So we have a deal? -BOTH: Deal! 466 00:21:00,539 --> 00:21:05,519 Yes! We have a deal, people! 467 00:21:05,619 --> 00:21:07,999 -(SCREAMS) -(SQUEALS) 468 00:21:08,099 --> 00:21:09,319 (LAUGHS) 469 00:21:09,419 --> 00:21:12,119 Whoo! We saved the farm. 470 00:21:12,219 --> 00:21:13,559 Ohh! 471 00:21:13,659 --> 00:21:15,659 -(PHONE BUZZES) -(SIGHS) 472 00:21:18,019 --> 00:21:20,019 (GROANS) 473 00:21:21,699 --> 00:21:23,119 Hmm. 474 00:21:23,219 --> 00:21:24,319 Hello. 475 00:21:24,419 --> 00:21:26,639 -(EMMY SCREAMS) -What happened? 476 00:21:26,739 --> 00:21:28,599 -EMMY: Deal! Deal! -(LAUGHS) 477 00:21:28,699 --> 00:21:30,479 I think Emmy sold her book. 478 00:21:30,579 --> 00:21:32,760 -(EMMY SCREAMS AND LAUGHS) -(BOTH LAUGH) 479 00:21:32,860 --> 00:21:33,840 EMMY: Yes! 480 00:21:33,940 --> 00:21:35,640 -BOTH: Congratulations! -(ROOSTER CROWS) 481 00:21:35,740 --> 00:21:37,040 BOTH: Shut up, Gregory! 482 00:21:37,140 --> 00:21:38,760 (CLUCKS) 483 00:21:38,860 --> 00:21:40,880 (POP!) 484 00:21:40,980 --> 00:21:42,980 (KNOCK AT DOOR) 485 00:21:43,940 --> 00:21:47,640 Babe...I'm...calling. You don't answer. 486 00:21:47,740 --> 00:21:50,080 Did you...run...here? 487 00:21:50,180 --> 00:21:53,240 -Yes! -What is going on, Leslie? 488 00:21:53,340 --> 00:21:55,240 Ellison London and her son 489 00:21:55,340 --> 00:21:58,680 are coming to Emu Creek Farm Springs for Christmas! 490 00:21:58,780 --> 00:22:00,880 What? 491 00:22:00,980 --> 00:22:02,240 Why? 492 00:22:02,340 --> 00:22:04,321 What is going on? 493 00:22:04,421 --> 00:22:05,721 Did I not tell you about 494 00:22:05,821 --> 00:22:07,921 that little line item in the contract? 495 00:22:08,021 --> 00:22:09,441 Before they close the deal, 496 00:22:09,541 --> 00:22:11,601 London & London has the right to meet you. 497 00:22:11,701 --> 00:22:15,241 With an invitation to Christmas in...in Australia? 498 00:22:15,341 --> 00:22:17,241 Two invitations to Christmas in Australia, actually. 499 00:22:17,341 --> 00:22:19,201 One for you and one for her son. 500 00:22:19,301 --> 00:22:21,041 With you, your husband and your daughter. 501 00:22:21,141 --> 00:22:22,801 I don't have a husband or a daughter. 502 00:22:22,901 --> 00:22:24,521 Or a mother. I know. So sad. 503 00:22:24,621 --> 00:22:25,761 Leslie! 504 00:22:25,861 --> 00:22:28,481 They want the full Emu Farm Springs experience 505 00:22:28,581 --> 00:22:30,561 just like in the book or the deal goes away. 506 00:22:30,661 --> 00:22:32,741 (THROWS PIZZA CRUST) Ooh, pickles! 507 00:22:33,861 --> 00:22:36,942 OK, I want you to look me in the eyes and listen, OK? 508 00:22:38,262 --> 00:22:39,682 I don't do farm. 509 00:22:39,782 --> 00:22:41,442 I can't cook. 510 00:22:41,542 --> 00:22:44,202 I can't even boil an egg. 511 00:22:44,302 --> 00:22:46,882 It's not so bad. You just become your mother for a few weeks. 512 00:22:46,982 --> 00:22:48,482 Tickle a few cows with some suits. 513 00:22:48,582 --> 00:22:50,042 Give them Clem's Country Christmas, 514 00:22:50,142 --> 00:22:51,522 save 'Little House on the Prairie' 515 00:22:51,622 --> 00:22:53,622 and, boom, all your dreams come true. 516 00:22:56,062 --> 00:22:57,522 I... 517 00:22:57,622 --> 00:22:59,862 (BRIGHT ORCHESTRAL MUSIC) 518 00:23:08,183 --> 00:23:10,243 It's not funny. 519 00:23:10,343 --> 00:23:12,803 It is kind of funny. 520 00:23:12,903 --> 00:23:15,643 I only have a few days to find myself a husband, 521 00:23:15,743 --> 00:23:18,943 a daughter and become my mother, OK? 522 00:23:19,943 --> 00:23:22,363 -MILES: Jump in. -(DAVID GROANS) 523 00:23:22,463 --> 00:23:25,123 -EMMY: I'm not that heavy! -No. 524 00:23:25,223 --> 00:23:27,223 (DAVID SIGHS) 525 00:23:29,183 --> 00:23:30,803 EMMY: That's new. 526 00:23:30,903 --> 00:23:33,843 Oh, yes, Miles started an online art class. 527 00:23:33,943 --> 00:23:35,843 When you tilt your head to the side, 528 00:23:35,943 --> 00:23:37,483 there's a whole new picture. 529 00:23:37,583 --> 00:23:39,583 Oh! 530 00:23:42,264 --> 00:23:43,564 Ohhh. 531 00:23:43,664 --> 00:23:45,964 Once you see it, can't unsee it, right? 532 00:23:46,064 --> 00:23:47,644 (MILES CHUCKLES) 533 00:23:47,744 --> 00:23:50,764 -In the... In the living room? -It's the perfect spot for it. 534 00:23:50,864 --> 00:23:52,604 DAVID: He's a regular Leonardo. 535 00:23:52,704 --> 00:23:55,084 Painted me like one of his French girls. 536 00:23:55,184 --> 00:23:56,484 (CHUCKLES) 537 00:23:56,584 --> 00:23:59,364 First things first, yeah? OK? 538 00:23:59,464 --> 00:24:02,724 I need a husband. David? 539 00:24:02,824 --> 00:24:06,004 Um...I may as well be your sister. 540 00:24:06,104 --> 00:24:07,924 Plus he smirks uncontrollably when he lies. 541 00:24:08,024 --> 00:24:09,684 -You know that annoying smile? -That's true. 542 00:24:09,784 --> 00:24:12,465 -It's a lovely quality. -Alright, alright, alright. 543 00:24:13,665 --> 00:24:15,665 You - what do you say? 544 00:24:16,705 --> 00:24:18,965 -I do. I do! -Yes? Excellent! 545 00:24:19,065 --> 00:24:20,805 No, he doesn't, and he can't. 546 00:24:20,905 --> 00:24:23,165 -Why not? -Oh! So controlling. 547 00:24:23,265 --> 00:24:26,645 Well, you can't push Miles back into the closet. 548 00:24:26,745 --> 00:24:28,445 He's already dealt with his family 549 00:24:28,545 --> 00:24:30,445 and societal expectations. 550 00:24:30,545 --> 00:24:32,885 Two, do you really think that Miles would be convincing 551 00:24:32,985 --> 00:24:35,725 as your husband given how extra you can be? 552 00:24:35,825 --> 00:24:37,965 You think I'm too gay to be straight? 553 00:24:38,065 --> 00:24:39,565 -DAVID: I think... -What? 554 00:24:39,665 --> 00:24:42,965 I think you've spent years hiding your light 555 00:24:43,065 --> 00:24:44,606 and now that you've let it out, 556 00:24:44,706 --> 00:24:48,006 that wonderful, bright, exuberant light, 557 00:24:48,106 --> 00:24:52,046 I'm just not sure that you have a...dimmer switch. 558 00:24:52,146 --> 00:24:54,086 -I can do this! -DAVID: Mm-hm. 559 00:24:54,186 --> 00:24:56,326 I can be heteronormative! 560 00:24:56,426 --> 00:24:58,046 -Yes! Yes, you can! -DAVID: OK. 561 00:24:58,146 --> 00:24:59,446 I can be macho. 562 00:24:59,546 --> 00:25:01,446 I'll be the Hemsworth brother they never had. 563 00:25:01,546 --> 00:25:03,366 -DAVID: Another one? -Russell Crowe's country cousin. 564 00:25:03,466 --> 00:25:04,926 I believe in you! 565 00:25:05,026 --> 00:25:09,166 (LAUGHS) My God, you do? This is gonna be so much fun! 566 00:25:09,266 --> 00:25:11,826 -Tea? -Thank you, darling. 567 00:25:12,826 --> 00:25:14,286 Fine. Who am I supposed to be? 568 00:25:14,386 --> 00:25:15,846 Uh, you could be my personal assistant. 569 00:25:15,946 --> 00:25:17,527 -Oh... No. -Mmm! 570 00:25:17,627 --> 00:25:19,007 -Man here to castrate the goats. -What? 571 00:25:19,107 --> 00:25:20,527 Uh...I don't know, travelling salesman. 572 00:25:20,627 --> 00:25:23,127 Really, really, really, really, really, really, really old 573 00:25:23,227 --> 00:25:24,167 foreign exchange student. 574 00:25:24,267 --> 00:25:25,927 -Thank you. -MILES: I have an idea. 575 00:25:26,027 --> 00:25:30,087 It is so kooky. It just might work. We tell the truth. 576 00:25:30,187 --> 00:25:32,247 You say he is your cousin visiting for Christmas. 577 00:25:32,347 --> 00:25:33,927 -Great. Fine. Works for me. -Good work. 578 00:25:34,027 --> 00:25:36,927 OK, moving on. Darling daughter. I need a daughter, I need a kid. 579 00:25:37,027 --> 00:25:38,687 -(INHALES) -Let's rent one. 580 00:25:38,787 --> 00:25:42,607 I can call a talent agency in, like, Brisbane or Sydney, 581 00:25:42,707 --> 00:25:44,567 somewhere like that, and just rent a kid. 582 00:25:44,667 --> 00:25:46,007 I think even stage parents 583 00:25:46,107 --> 00:25:47,727 want their children around at Christmas. 584 00:25:47,827 --> 00:25:49,688 -MILES: Yeah. -Ooh. OK. Ohhh. 585 00:25:49,788 --> 00:25:51,408 Uh...I'm...I'm 12 in the book. 586 00:25:51,508 --> 00:25:52,528 -Right? -Mm-hm. 587 00:25:52,628 --> 00:25:55,848 Tweens hate their parents. She ran away. 588 00:25:55,948 --> 00:25:57,328 And you didn't notice? 589 00:25:57,428 --> 00:25:59,208 Poor thing, she could be anywhere by now. 590 00:25:59,308 --> 00:26:02,048 Hmm-hmm-mm-mm. She's at a sleepover. 591 00:26:02,148 --> 00:26:03,568 -Oh! -An extended... 592 00:26:03,668 --> 00:26:07,208 An extended Christmas sleepover. 593 00:26:07,308 --> 00:26:09,528 -It will have to do. -It will have to do. 594 00:26:09,628 --> 00:26:12,248 Now, what are we gonna do about you? 595 00:26:12,348 --> 00:26:14,528 -Hmm. -What do you mean about me? 596 00:26:14,628 --> 00:26:17,128 I grew up here. I know my way around this place. I'm fine. 597 00:26:17,228 --> 00:26:18,848 MILES: It's just, uh, your clothes and, uh... 598 00:26:18,948 --> 00:26:20,208 -(INHALES SHARPLY) -Yeah. 599 00:26:20,308 --> 00:26:22,889 -BOTH: Your hair. -What's wrong with my hair? 600 00:26:22,989 --> 00:26:24,889 No, he's right. None of this is Clementine. 601 00:26:24,989 --> 00:26:27,169 It's like she needs some sort of farm 602 00:26:27,269 --> 00:26:29,969 boot camp make-under situation. 603 00:26:30,069 --> 00:26:31,769 -Is that a thing? -No, it's not a thing. 604 00:26:31,869 --> 00:26:33,529 -It is now. -No, it's not! 605 00:26:33,629 --> 00:26:35,649 -Let's go shopping! -No, we're not! 606 00:26:35,749 --> 00:26:36,809 (MILES LAUGHS) 607 00:26:36,909 --> 00:26:39,649 (UPBEAT MUSIC) 608 00:26:39,749 --> 00:26:41,749 Fan out, people. 609 00:26:44,389 --> 00:26:46,389 (DAVID INHALES DEEPLY) Hmm. 610 00:26:47,349 --> 00:26:49,349 Hmm. Mmm. 611 00:26:49,829 --> 00:26:50,929 No. 612 00:26:51,029 --> 00:26:52,529 Do I hold one or two? 613 00:26:52,629 --> 00:26:54,010 -Grab it and pull. -Hang on. 614 00:26:54,110 --> 00:26:55,450 -(COW MOOS) -(SCREAMS) 615 00:26:55,550 --> 00:26:58,730 -Nothing is coming out. -No wonder she's still single. 616 00:26:58,830 --> 00:27:01,470 -I heard that! -(COW LOWS) 617 00:27:03,190 --> 00:27:05,210 MILES: It's a little bit 'House on the Prairie'. 618 00:27:05,310 --> 00:27:06,890 Reminds me of 'Poltergeist'. 619 00:27:06,990 --> 00:27:09,190 I think the mum wore something like that. 620 00:27:10,550 --> 00:27:12,550 (UPBEAT MUSIC CONTINUES) 621 00:27:19,390 --> 00:27:21,570 Ugh! 622 00:27:21,670 --> 00:27:22,770 (CLICKS) 623 00:27:22,870 --> 00:27:24,870 -Uh-uh. -No? 624 00:27:27,271 --> 00:27:29,771 Joanna Gaines has got nothing on you. 625 00:27:29,871 --> 00:27:31,251 Would your mum have approved? 626 00:27:31,351 --> 00:27:32,891 Is it Aunty-Clem-Christmassy enough? 627 00:27:32,991 --> 00:27:34,651 You know what, it-it-it-it's great. 628 00:27:34,751 --> 00:27:37,211 I just think you need less balls, more bush. 629 00:27:37,311 --> 00:27:40,531 You know, think less gaudy, more...earthy. 630 00:27:40,631 --> 00:27:43,011 -MILES: I am allergic to bush. -DAVID: You know what? 631 00:27:43,111 --> 00:27:45,691 Right now, I'm less concerned about your foliage 632 00:27:45,791 --> 00:27:47,131 and more concerned about your accent. 633 00:27:47,231 --> 00:27:48,571 What's wrong with my accent? 634 00:27:48,671 --> 00:27:50,371 I can still speak Australian if I need to. 635 00:27:50,471 --> 00:27:52,851 Say "Can I have a glass of water?" 636 00:27:52,951 --> 00:27:54,951 Can I have a glass of wa-ter? 637 00:27:55,551 --> 00:27:57,011 -Wor-ter. -Wa-ter. 638 00:27:57,111 --> 00:27:58,292 Wor-ter! 639 00:27:58,392 --> 00:27:59,732 -Wa-ter. -Wor-ter. 640 00:27:59,832 --> 00:28:01,452 What the hell's happening to me? 641 00:28:01,552 --> 00:28:03,372 Well, you've been living overseas for 20 years. 642 00:28:03,472 --> 00:28:04,492 -Footpath. -Paa-th. 643 00:28:04,592 --> 00:28:05,972 Garage, tuna. 644 00:28:06,072 --> 00:28:08,172 Tyu-na. Tu-na. 645 00:28:08,272 --> 00:28:09,852 BOTH: Chu-na! 646 00:28:09,952 --> 00:28:12,092 -♪ More, more, more... ♪ -Bleurgh! 647 00:28:12,192 --> 00:28:14,492 ('MORE, MORE, MORE' By KRISSIE KARLSSON AND KARL KARLSSON) 648 00:28:14,592 --> 00:28:15,772 -(DAVID SHOUTS) -Ow! 649 00:28:15,872 --> 00:28:18,292 ♪ I have it, got to have it 650 00:28:18,392 --> 00:28:19,772 ♪ More, more, more 651 00:28:19,872 --> 00:28:22,012 ♪ I've got to have it Got to have it 652 00:28:22,112 --> 00:28:23,452 ♪ Ooh-oh-oh... ♪ 653 00:28:23,552 --> 00:28:25,492 Mmm. That's perfect. 654 00:28:25,592 --> 00:28:27,812 Yes. And up here. 655 00:28:27,912 --> 00:28:29,452 -Ow! -Sorry. 656 00:28:29,552 --> 00:28:30,733 -Just dunk your head in. -(SCREAMS) 657 00:28:30,833 --> 00:28:32,853 -There you go. Feels wonderful! -(SCREAMS) 658 00:28:32,953 --> 00:28:35,413 Beautiful. (LAUGHS) 659 00:28:35,513 --> 00:28:37,213 -♪ More, more, more.... ♪ -It's gonna look fabulous. 660 00:28:37,313 --> 00:28:39,133 -♪ Got to have it... ♪ -Ooh! Ahhh. 661 00:28:39,233 --> 00:28:40,773 -♪ Ooh-oh-oh... ♪ -Argh! 662 00:28:40,873 --> 00:28:42,873 Reveal. 663 00:28:43,793 --> 00:28:45,293 BOTH: Whoa. 664 00:28:45,393 --> 00:28:48,253 A good whoa or...or a bad whoa? 665 00:28:48,353 --> 00:28:51,073 Beautiful. Goddess of the earth. 666 00:28:53,273 --> 00:28:56,353 You look just like her. 667 00:28:57,513 --> 00:29:00,153 (PLAYS REPEATED NOTE ON THE PIANO) 668 00:29:02,353 --> 00:29:04,094 (TRAFFIC NOISES IN THE DISTANCE) 669 00:29:04,194 --> 00:29:06,194 (KNOCK AT DOOR) 670 00:29:07,714 --> 00:29:09,974 (LAUGHS) Avalon. 671 00:29:10,074 --> 00:29:12,534 -What are you doing here? -I missed you. 672 00:29:12,634 --> 00:29:14,054 Come in. 673 00:29:14,154 --> 00:29:15,974 So you just all of a sudden missed me? 674 00:29:16,074 --> 00:29:18,574 Well, I realised how much I missed you... 675 00:29:18,674 --> 00:29:20,774 -(DOOR SHUTS) -..when a friend of mine 676 00:29:20,874 --> 00:29:22,854 was at the bar downstairs the other night 677 00:29:22,954 --> 00:29:25,974 and sent me...this. 678 00:29:26,074 --> 00:29:27,694 JACK: How could he not love you? 679 00:29:27,794 --> 00:29:29,294 ('BLUE (DA DA BEE)' BY EIFFEL 69 PLAYS) 680 00:29:29,394 --> 00:29:31,394 Who's the "Blue da-ba-da-di" girl? 681 00:29:32,034 --> 00:29:33,974 First of all, that's creepy. 682 00:29:34,074 --> 00:29:36,055 Second of all, why do you care? 683 00:29:36,155 --> 00:29:38,615 Aren't you with the tattoo artiste? 684 00:29:38,715 --> 00:29:41,335 He's actually a gui-tar-ist. 685 00:29:41,435 --> 00:29:43,135 -And we're on a break right now. -Oh. 686 00:29:43,235 --> 00:29:46,615 Oh! Going somewhere fun? Need a plus one? 687 00:29:46,715 --> 00:29:48,935 Uh... (SIGHS) 688 00:29:49,035 --> 00:29:52,215 I'm going on a work trip to an Australian farm with Ellison. 689 00:29:52,315 --> 00:29:55,335 A farm? But it's Christmas. 690 00:29:55,435 --> 00:29:57,815 Christmas is for nude beaches and umbrella drinks. 691 00:29:57,915 --> 00:29:59,535 Yeah, well, Ellison wants me to take 692 00:29:59,635 --> 00:30:01,055 more interest in the business. 693 00:30:01,155 --> 00:30:03,215 And then when I do, she doesn't trust me. 694 00:30:03,315 --> 00:30:07,055 So, either way, I turn out a disappointment. 695 00:30:07,155 --> 00:30:09,856 Jackie. Jackie, Jackie, Jackie. 696 00:30:09,956 --> 00:30:12,896 (SIGHS) I know how much you hate your job. 697 00:30:12,996 --> 00:30:13,896 -Hmm. -Ah! 698 00:30:13,996 --> 00:30:15,896 Do you want me to get you out of it? 699 00:30:15,996 --> 00:30:19,816 -What do you mean? -I could show up in Australia. 700 00:30:19,916 --> 00:30:24,216 Scoop you up and whisk you off to Bora Bora, hmm? 701 00:30:24,316 --> 00:30:26,696 We have fun together, don't we? 702 00:30:26,796 --> 00:30:29,736 Mmm. As tempting as that sounds... 703 00:30:29,836 --> 00:30:32,236 -Hmm. -..I have to work. 704 00:30:33,236 --> 00:30:34,896 -Oh. -Mmm. 705 00:30:34,996 --> 00:30:36,976 Read the book. It's amazing. 706 00:30:37,076 --> 00:30:40,637 The author, Clementine, she's really fascinating. 707 00:30:41,637 --> 00:30:46,037 Well, you know how much I love to read books. 708 00:30:47,637 --> 00:30:49,617 Wait. Who's Ellison? 709 00:30:49,717 --> 00:30:51,697 Really? 710 00:30:51,797 --> 00:30:54,657 -I'm so sorry, Ms London. -Don't apologise. 711 00:30:54,757 --> 00:30:56,337 Just do better. 712 00:30:56,437 --> 00:30:57,697 Ohh. 713 00:30:57,797 --> 00:30:58,977 Mmm! 714 00:30:59,077 --> 00:31:00,297 What is this? 715 00:31:00,397 --> 00:31:02,697 A gingerbread latte. It's festive. 716 00:31:02,797 --> 00:31:06,337 Do I look like a person who likes festive lattes? 717 00:31:06,437 --> 00:31:07,857 Who doesn't love Christmas? 718 00:31:07,957 --> 00:31:09,457 The only good thing about Christmas 719 00:31:09,557 --> 00:31:11,097 is the uptick in book sales. 720 00:31:11,197 --> 00:31:13,698 JACK: Ha! Well, well, well. You made it, Mother. 721 00:31:13,798 --> 00:31:16,738 This 'Clementine' book is the first time in a decade 722 00:31:16,838 --> 00:31:19,578 you've cared about anything that didn't involve craft cocktails 723 00:31:19,678 --> 00:31:21,458 or 4-day weekends - of course I made it. 724 00:31:21,558 --> 00:31:24,218 Well, you wanted a bestseller, I'm giving you a bestseller. 725 00:31:24,318 --> 00:31:26,478 -So... -We'll see. 726 00:31:27,478 --> 00:31:29,338 What end of the plane do you want? 727 00:31:29,438 --> 00:31:31,438 As you like. 728 00:31:32,598 --> 00:31:35,018 (FOOTSTEPS APPROACH) 729 00:31:35,118 --> 00:31:37,158 (WHISPERS) It's gonna be a long flight. 730 00:31:38,318 --> 00:31:40,018 (GENTLE MUSIC, BIRDSONG) 731 00:31:40,118 --> 00:31:42,318 (CLUCKING) 732 00:31:45,559 --> 00:31:47,559 (SNIFFS) 733 00:31:51,679 --> 00:31:53,839 (HUMS) 734 00:31:57,399 --> 00:31:58,419 Argh! 735 00:31:58,519 --> 00:32:00,299 (PANTS) 736 00:32:00,399 --> 00:32:02,379 (HUMS) 737 00:32:02,479 --> 00:32:04,619 -Go wake up Emmy! -Oh! 738 00:32:04,719 --> 00:32:06,059 -(DOOR OPENS) -(CLUCKS) 739 00:32:06,159 --> 00:32:08,839 -They're here! -The publishers are early! 740 00:32:09,839 --> 00:32:12,559 -EMMY: What? -They're here! 741 00:32:14,959 --> 00:32:16,540 DRIVER: They, uh, don't refer to Australia 742 00:32:16,640 --> 00:32:18,640 as God's country for nothin'. 743 00:32:19,400 --> 00:32:20,940 Oh. 744 00:32:21,040 --> 00:32:23,620 Where is my dress? They were supposed to here for dinner. 745 00:32:23,720 --> 00:32:25,780 -Ow! Ow. -Good God! Your hair. 746 00:32:25,880 --> 00:32:27,460 Do you have sparrows nesting in there? 747 00:32:27,560 --> 00:32:29,660 Oh! I've got to go get changed! 748 00:32:29,760 --> 00:32:31,580 EMMY: I swear to God, Gregory, 749 00:32:31,680 --> 00:32:34,220 you cluck with me this weekend and you'll be Christmas lunch! 750 00:32:34,320 --> 00:32:35,900 Ow! Could you get the dress? 751 00:32:36,000 --> 00:32:38,000 -Just get the dress. -Alright. Alright! 752 00:32:38,560 --> 00:32:40,180 Where the hell is my husband? 753 00:32:40,280 --> 00:32:42,340 Just relax. Be calm. We've got this. 754 00:32:42,440 --> 00:32:44,300 OK, I'm relaxed and calm. 755 00:32:44,400 --> 00:32:45,380 Your accent. 756 00:32:45,480 --> 00:32:47,420 Ah! Relaxed and ca-alm. 757 00:32:47,520 --> 00:32:48,941 -50% less. -OK. 758 00:32:49,041 --> 00:32:51,401 OK. Relaxed and ca-alm. 759 00:32:52,681 --> 00:32:54,681 OK. 760 00:32:55,081 --> 00:32:57,501 (AUSSIE ACCENT) Hello! And welcome to Fig Tree Farm. 761 00:32:57,601 --> 00:32:59,741 Well, you must be our special guest from America. 762 00:32:59,841 --> 00:33:02,501 -From London & London. -Ellison London, CEO. 763 00:33:02,601 --> 00:33:04,581 -I-I-I don't do hands. -Oh! 764 00:33:04,681 --> 00:33:06,941 And this is my associate, Jackson. 765 00:33:07,041 --> 00:33:09,501 Bit formal. Also her son. Hi. 766 00:33:09,601 --> 00:33:11,061 (DOG BARKS IN THE DISTANCE) 767 00:33:11,161 --> 00:33:13,181 -Oh. -(JACK CHUCKLES) 768 00:33:13,281 --> 00:33:15,181 (EMMY LAUGHS) It's a little bit funny, actually, 769 00:33:15,281 --> 00:33:17,741 'cause, uh, it's sort of a wild story... 770 00:33:17,841 --> 00:33:19,621 This must be the famous Clementine. 771 00:33:19,721 --> 00:33:21,662 (KOOKABURRA LAUGHS, COW MOOS) 772 00:33:21,762 --> 00:33:23,702 It's so good to meet you. 773 00:33:23,802 --> 00:33:27,302 Yes! Yes, good to meet you too. 774 00:33:27,402 --> 00:33:29,742 I am the famous Clementine Walker, Sr. 775 00:33:29,842 --> 00:33:32,502 (LAUGHS) It's, um, great to meet you. 776 00:33:32,602 --> 00:33:34,222 -(JACK CHUCKLES) -I'm so sorry. Come on in. 777 00:33:34,322 --> 00:33:35,302 -Please. -Sure. 778 00:33:35,402 --> 00:33:37,462 -Thank you. (LAUGHS) -Be our guest. 779 00:33:37,562 --> 00:33:38,942 -We've got your bags. -Thank you. 780 00:33:39,042 --> 00:33:40,942 -Don't worry about it. -Come through. Come in. Hi. 781 00:33:41,042 --> 00:33:42,462 -JACK: Hi. -DAVID: Hi. 782 00:33:42,562 --> 00:33:44,382 David, get the bags, get the bags. 783 00:33:44,482 --> 00:33:47,082 -JACK: G'day. -Oh, right in here. Go through. 784 00:33:49,522 --> 00:33:51,802 EMMY: Please, just make yourselves at home. 785 00:33:52,802 --> 00:33:56,343 JACK: Oh, wow! This is beautiful. 786 00:33:56,443 --> 00:33:58,663 I really can't thank you enough 787 00:33:58,763 --> 00:34:00,663 for accommodating us at such short notice. 788 00:34:00,763 --> 00:34:03,183 Oh, well, how could I say no? 789 00:34:03,283 --> 00:34:05,903 Everyone in our New York office is very jealous 790 00:34:06,003 --> 00:34:08,143 we were getting the whole Fig Tree Farm experience. 791 00:34:08,243 --> 00:34:09,263 Oh! 792 00:34:09,363 --> 00:34:10,783 Your book is literally 793 00:34:10,883 --> 00:34:12,263 all anyone's talking about at the moment. 794 00:34:12,363 --> 00:34:14,903 It certainly cost us enough. (LAUGHS) 795 00:34:15,003 --> 00:34:18,183 I wasn't expecting it to be so warm. 796 00:34:18,283 --> 00:34:19,663 -It is very hot. -EMMY: Yeah! 797 00:34:19,763 --> 00:34:21,263 That's Australia at Christmas for you. 798 00:34:21,363 --> 00:34:23,303 Carry a fan, that's what I say. 799 00:34:23,403 --> 00:34:24,703 JACK: Oh, thank you. 800 00:34:24,803 --> 00:34:26,424 So, have you always had 801 00:34:26,524 --> 00:34:29,484 such an interest in the farming life? 802 00:34:30,484 --> 00:34:32,104 I... Well... I... 803 00:34:32,204 --> 00:34:34,304 -Yes! -Yes. 804 00:34:34,404 --> 00:34:37,424 It's always been in Clementine's blood. 805 00:34:37,524 --> 00:34:39,624 -Mm-hm. Mm-hm. -This must be the husband. 806 00:34:39,724 --> 00:34:41,724 I'm... 807 00:34:42,364 --> 00:34:45,544 EMMY: Ahh, no. This is my cousin...cousin David. 808 00:34:45,644 --> 00:34:47,104 -JACK: Oh! -EMMY: Yes, yes. 809 00:34:47,204 --> 00:34:49,524 ELLISON: Is something wrong with his face? 810 00:34:50,564 --> 00:34:54,104 He had tooth surgery, uh, just about a week ago. 811 00:34:54,204 --> 00:34:55,704 -JACK: Oh. (INHALES SHARPLY) -Last week. 812 00:34:55,804 --> 00:34:57,184 -JACK: Oh, no. -It's painful. 813 00:34:57,284 --> 00:34:58,665 EMMY: Yes, yes, darling. You alright? 814 00:34:58,765 --> 00:35:01,345 -JACK: Ouch! Yeah. -EMMY: Ouch, yes. Very painful. 815 00:35:01,445 --> 00:35:03,665 (BROAD AUSSIE ACCENT) Sorry, avocados! Ha ha! 816 00:35:03,765 --> 00:35:06,265 I was just taking care of a few things out back. 817 00:35:06,365 --> 00:35:09,185 G'day, g'day, g'day, g'day! 818 00:35:09,285 --> 00:35:10,625 -(LAUGHS) -Oh! (CLEARS THROAT) 819 00:35:10,725 --> 00:35:13,065 That's how you do it in Australia. (LAUGHS) 820 00:35:13,165 --> 00:35:16,305 -Miles Jones. -Oh, that's quite a grip, Miles. 821 00:35:16,405 --> 00:35:19,465 You working cows all day, you get a strong handshake. Ha ha! 822 00:35:19,565 --> 00:35:20,945 Oooh! Ooh! Ooh! Ooh! 823 00:35:21,045 --> 00:35:22,665 -Alright. How are you? -EMMY: Hello, darling. 824 00:35:22,765 --> 00:35:24,705 -(MILES CHUCKLES) -Hello, hello, hel... Ooh! 825 00:35:24,805 --> 00:35:27,465 -Hello, sweetheart. (CHUCKLES) -Ohh. 826 00:35:27,565 --> 00:35:30,846 And, uh, we're missing a daughter, huh? 827 00:35:31,886 --> 00:35:33,386 She's at a sleepover. 828 00:35:33,486 --> 00:35:34,986 Oh. 829 00:35:35,086 --> 00:35:36,666 All...all of Christmas? 830 00:35:36,766 --> 00:35:40,906 It's an extended sleepover with her very, very best friends. 831 00:35:41,006 --> 00:35:42,746 They don't celebrate Christmas. They're Jewish. 832 00:35:42,846 --> 00:35:44,506 -Pagans. -Muslim. 833 00:35:44,606 --> 00:35:47,066 EMMY: Khan-Kaufmans. Fascinating, uh, family. 834 00:35:47,166 --> 00:35:48,946 Live just a couple of farms over. 835 00:35:49,046 --> 00:35:52,226 Could I offer anyone a Fig Tree Fizz? 836 00:35:52,326 --> 00:35:53,986 -DAVID: Oooh! -JACK: Yeah. Thank you. 837 00:35:54,086 --> 00:35:55,506 Yes! Yes, it's a delicious cocktail. 838 00:35:55,606 --> 00:35:58,186 Um, cousin...David, husband...Miles, 839 00:35:58,286 --> 00:35:59,786 why don't you join me in the kitchen? 840 00:35:59,886 --> 00:36:01,306 JACK: Huh. 841 00:36:01,406 --> 00:36:02,547 Struth! 842 00:36:02,647 --> 00:36:04,187 I wouldn't usually step into the kitchen 843 00:36:04,287 --> 00:36:06,827 unless it was to crack open a cold tinnie, eh? Eh? 844 00:36:06,927 --> 00:36:08,927 -(LAUGHS AWKWARDLY) -(MILES LAUGHS) Yeah. 845 00:36:09,607 --> 00:36:12,247 (MILES CHUCKLES) 846 00:36:13,367 --> 00:36:14,747 (EXHALES) 847 00:36:14,847 --> 00:36:16,927 Something odd about all this. 848 00:36:17,927 --> 00:36:19,307 It's called Christmas. 849 00:36:19,407 --> 00:36:21,507 DAVID: You just had to mention the Fig Tree Fizz! 850 00:36:21,607 --> 00:36:23,107 I haven't made one of them in years! 851 00:36:23,207 --> 00:36:24,867 I was trying to save the situation. 852 00:36:24,967 --> 00:36:27,267 "G'day, avocados"? 853 00:36:27,367 --> 00:36:29,867 Why should you be the only one who gets to do an accent? 854 00:36:29,967 --> 00:36:31,907 -What voice was that even? -It was Mick Dundee! 855 00:36:32,007 --> 00:36:33,747 Americans love 'Crocodile Dundee'. 856 00:36:33,847 --> 00:36:34,948 I...I... 857 00:36:35,048 --> 00:36:36,908 On the plus side, that Jack guy's pretty cute. 858 00:36:37,008 --> 00:36:39,888 No. No. Listen to me. Listen to me. I've met him. 859 00:36:40,888 --> 00:36:42,348 What? 860 00:36:42,448 --> 00:36:43,508 -In New York. -DAVID: What? 861 00:36:43,608 --> 00:36:45,708 I've met him. 862 00:36:45,808 --> 00:36:48,108 You 'met him' met him? 863 00:36:48,208 --> 00:36:49,668 -Like 'met him'... -(MILES GASPS) 864 00:36:49,768 --> 00:36:51,028 -Like you...you... -..met him. 865 00:36:51,128 --> 00:36:53,028 -What?! -Oh, it was a one-night stand. 866 00:36:53,128 --> 00:36:54,508 -It was nothing tawdry. -Oh, God. 867 00:36:54,608 --> 00:36:56,068 Just two people looking for some companionship 868 00:36:56,168 --> 00:36:57,948 after drinking their body weight in Boulevardiers. 869 00:36:58,048 --> 00:37:00,388 That's why he was looking at you like the world had stopped! 870 00:37:00,488 --> 00:37:02,668 No! He was looking at me like we'd never even met. 871 00:37:02,768 --> 00:37:04,828 Told you we did a fabulous job on her hair. 872 00:37:04,928 --> 00:37:06,228 -Oh, my stars. -DAVID: Maybe...maybe... 873 00:37:06,328 --> 00:37:07,669 -This is really, really bad. -Maybe it's... 874 00:37:07,769 --> 00:37:08,829 -(BOTTLE POPS) -..fate. 875 00:37:08,929 --> 00:37:10,629 MILES: It's a goddamn Christmas miracle. 876 00:37:10,729 --> 00:37:12,749 EMMY: Hey, are you two out of your heads? 877 00:37:12,849 --> 00:37:15,349 It's a goddamn Christmas disaster! 878 00:37:15,449 --> 00:37:17,389 He can never know who I am. 879 00:37:17,489 --> 00:37:20,389 Was. Am. We are living in a web of lies. 880 00:37:20,489 --> 00:37:21,829 Guys, this is not... 881 00:37:21,929 --> 00:37:23,869 He has got her frazzled. 882 00:37:23,969 --> 00:37:25,709 -I'm not frazzled! -Ow! 883 00:37:25,809 --> 00:37:28,109 I have got a book to sell and a farm to save, 884 00:37:28,209 --> 00:37:30,509 and if I don't sell the book, we don't save the farm. 885 00:37:30,609 --> 00:37:32,629 So get serious about this, fellas. Get off me! 886 00:37:32,729 --> 00:37:34,549 (EMMY BREATHES HEAVILY) 887 00:37:34,649 --> 00:37:36,649 (EMMY EXHALES HEAVILY) 888 00:37:41,970 --> 00:37:43,550 MILES: Oh, God. 889 00:37:43,650 --> 00:37:45,650 Can you pass me that knife? 890 00:37:48,690 --> 00:37:50,150 That's not a knife. 891 00:37:50,250 --> 00:37:51,950 (METALLIC BLADE SINGS AS IT'S PULLED OUT) 892 00:37:52,050 --> 00:37:54,130 That's a knife. 893 00:37:55,810 --> 00:37:57,190 -Fig Tree Fizz! -Oh, great. 894 00:37:57,290 --> 00:38:00,150 OK. Right. Here we go. 895 00:38:00,250 --> 00:38:02,230 Very special concoction right here. 896 00:38:02,330 --> 00:38:04,710 Won't get it anywhere else in the world. Here you go. 897 00:38:04,810 --> 00:38:05,910 -Thank you. -Lovely. 898 00:38:06,010 --> 00:38:08,010 -Love it. -Yes. 899 00:38:08,530 --> 00:38:11,110 So when do we get to see the rest of the fabulous farm? 900 00:38:11,210 --> 00:38:12,591 Oh, um... 901 00:38:12,691 --> 00:38:14,071 You ever seen a pregnant cow? 902 00:38:14,171 --> 00:38:15,551 -Oh. -DAVID: Dolly. 903 00:38:15,651 --> 00:38:17,431 She's due any minute. 904 00:38:17,531 --> 00:38:19,151 You will adore it! 905 00:38:19,251 --> 00:38:23,671 It is all fabulously magical witnessing the circle of life 906 00:38:23,771 --> 00:38:25,511 through Dolly's heaving belly. 907 00:38:25,611 --> 00:38:27,751 Miles...darling. 908 00:38:27,851 --> 00:38:29,191 Actually, uh... (CHUCKLES) 909 00:38:29,291 --> 00:38:31,751 (BROAD AUSSIE ACCENT) ..I've got some, uh, fences to fix, 910 00:38:31,851 --> 00:38:33,991 some sheep to shear, some paddocks to plough 911 00:38:34,091 --> 00:38:35,391 while you blokes have your fun. 912 00:38:35,491 --> 00:38:36,551 -(LAUGHS) -Ow. 913 00:38:36,651 --> 00:38:37,711 Yes, we're gonna have some... 914 00:38:37,811 --> 00:38:38,831 -'Bye, darling. -'Bye, hon. 915 00:38:38,931 --> 00:38:40,631 Well, I've got my, uh... 916 00:38:40,731 --> 00:38:43,371 I guess it's just the three of us, then. 917 00:38:44,892 --> 00:38:46,912 (ROOSTER CROWS) 918 00:38:47,012 --> 00:38:48,472 (BIRDSONG) 919 00:38:48,572 --> 00:38:51,872 So...which one's Dolly? 920 00:38:51,972 --> 00:38:54,032 Uh, the pregnant one. 921 00:38:54,132 --> 00:38:57,072 Dolly! Hey, Dolly girl! 922 00:38:57,172 --> 00:38:59,172 Come to Mama. 923 00:38:59,852 --> 00:39:02,212 -Wait. Isn't that a bull? -Uh... 924 00:39:03,212 --> 00:39:04,992 Wait. Aren't they...both bulls? 925 00:39:05,092 --> 00:39:08,912 No! I think we have stared at bovine genitalia long enough! 926 00:39:09,012 --> 00:39:11,432 Let's go see the horses. Yes? Horses! 927 00:39:11,532 --> 00:39:13,592 Oh, go...go ahead. (LAUGHS) 928 00:39:13,692 --> 00:39:15,712 I found half a bar. (CHUCKLES) 929 00:39:15,812 --> 00:39:17,713 EMMY: Oh, don't you just love that... 930 00:39:17,813 --> 00:39:19,993 Oof! ..horsey smell? 931 00:39:20,093 --> 00:39:21,073 JACK: Hi. 932 00:39:21,173 --> 00:39:22,873 Hey, what's going on? 933 00:39:22,973 --> 00:39:24,753 -Hey, you. EMMY: Oh, wow. That's amazing. 934 00:39:24,853 --> 00:39:26,673 He doesn't usually let anyone but my mum...me 935 00:39:26,773 --> 00:39:28,313 get that close...to him. 936 00:39:28,413 --> 00:39:30,073 (CHUCKLES) What's this big guy's name? 937 00:39:30,173 --> 00:39:33,233 Elton. And this is Kiki. 938 00:39:33,333 --> 00:39:35,073 -Elton and Kiki? -Yeah! 939 00:39:35,173 --> 00:39:38,033 You know, like Elton John and Kiki Dee, famous, uh, duet. 940 00:39:38,133 --> 00:39:40,433 No. I don't think so. 941 00:39:40,533 --> 00:39:42,073 -No? -No. How does it go? 942 00:39:42,173 --> 00:39:43,753 -The duet? -Yes. Sing a bit. 943 00:39:43,853 --> 00:39:45,913 Oh, you want... You want me to sing a duet? 944 00:39:46,013 --> 00:39:47,593 Yeah. A bit. 945 00:39:47,693 --> 00:39:49,234 I'm really... (LAUGHS) ..not much of a singer. 946 00:39:49,334 --> 00:39:52,594 -No? -Um... Uh... Um... OK. 947 00:39:52,694 --> 00:39:54,954 (SINGS) ♪ Don't go breaking my heart 948 00:39:55,054 --> 00:39:56,554 ♪ I couldn't if I tried... ♪ 949 00:39:56,654 --> 00:39:58,794 -JACK: Uh-huh. "Don't..." -I'm sorry. 950 00:39:58,894 --> 00:40:00,514 -Yeah. -I'm not much of a singer. 951 00:40:00,614 --> 00:40:02,394 And I don't really have a lot of tune. 952 00:40:02,494 --> 00:40:04,874 "..go breaking my heart." 953 00:40:04,974 --> 00:40:06,554 Ha ha! 954 00:40:06,654 --> 00:40:08,434 -"Take the weight off of me." -Oh, yeah. 955 00:40:08,534 --> 00:40:10,194 I see what you're doing. You got me. 956 00:40:10,294 --> 00:40:12,854 "Honey, when I knock on your door..."? 957 00:40:15,014 --> 00:40:16,714 "I gave you my key." 958 00:40:16,814 --> 00:40:18,814 (BOTH LAUGH) 959 00:40:21,255 --> 00:40:23,475 I'm sorry. You...you just look so familiar. 960 00:40:23,575 --> 00:40:25,875 I...I feel like we've met. 961 00:40:25,975 --> 00:40:28,755 Oh, no! Uh-uh. 962 00:40:28,855 --> 00:40:30,435 'Cause I live here on a farm and... 963 00:40:30,535 --> 00:40:33,835 ..you live in, um, New Nyo... New York, New York. 964 00:40:33,935 --> 00:40:35,935 Yeah. 965 00:40:36,895 --> 00:40:38,395 Come on! 966 00:40:38,495 --> 00:40:40,115 Come back, please! 967 00:40:40,215 --> 00:40:41,955 Oh! 968 00:40:42,055 --> 00:40:44,055 Oh, good. 969 00:40:45,615 --> 00:40:47,195 A little help! 970 00:40:47,295 --> 00:40:50,415 A deranged child is trying to kill me. 971 00:40:51,935 --> 00:40:53,076 Hello. 972 00:40:53,176 --> 00:40:54,796 Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! 973 00:40:54,896 --> 00:40:57,156 Who are you people? What are you doing on private property? 974 00:40:57,256 --> 00:40:58,516 Do you know this girl? 975 00:40:58,616 --> 00:41:00,436 Uh, yes, of course I know her. 976 00:41:00,536 --> 00:41:02,916 -I don't know you! -JACK: Ha ha! 977 00:41:03,016 --> 00:41:04,596 -Oh, this is the daughter. -What? 978 00:41:04,696 --> 00:41:06,436 The one in your book with the anger issues. 979 00:41:06,536 --> 00:41:08,196 You thought my daughter had anger issues? 980 00:41:08,296 --> 00:41:10,196 She's written that way, no? 981 00:41:10,296 --> 00:41:11,876 Ah, yes, of course it's my daughter! 982 00:41:11,976 --> 00:41:14,276 You will not take that tone with your mummy, young lady! 983 00:41:14,376 --> 00:41:15,996 Now, put that pitchfork down. 984 00:41:16,096 --> 00:41:18,636 These are the guests I told you were coming for Christmas. 985 00:41:18,736 --> 00:41:20,156 You're not my mother! 986 00:41:20,256 --> 00:41:23,196 Oh! Little Emmy took a horse kick to the face 987 00:41:23,296 --> 00:41:24,436 a few years back. 988 00:41:24,536 --> 00:41:25,957 She hasn't been the same since. 989 00:41:26,057 --> 00:41:27,077 I'm Violet. 990 00:41:27,177 --> 00:41:28,597 See? Memory is totally shot. 991 00:41:28,697 --> 00:41:29,957 -Oh. -Quite heartbreaking, actually. 992 00:41:30,057 --> 00:41:32,237 Alright, darling, if you want us to call you Violet, 993 00:41:32,337 --> 00:41:33,517 we'll call you Violet. 994 00:41:33,617 --> 00:41:37,597 -One more step... -You're acting crazy, darling. 995 00:41:37,697 --> 00:41:40,597 I'm not the crazy one, lady! I come here to feed the horses. 996 00:41:40,697 --> 00:41:41,997 (WHISPERS) Listen to me. 997 00:41:42,097 --> 00:41:44,437 Just go along with it and I'll give you anything you want. 998 00:41:44,537 --> 00:41:45,717 (EMMY LAUGHS FALSELY) 999 00:41:45,817 --> 00:41:46,997 -Like money? -Yes. 1000 00:41:47,097 --> 00:41:49,137 Just go with it, OK? Please. 1001 00:41:50,737 --> 00:41:52,357 Oh, Mummy, I didn't recognise you 1002 00:41:52,457 --> 00:41:55,117 on account of that horse kick to my face a few years back. 1003 00:41:55,217 --> 00:41:56,957 -Ohh! -I want the money in cash. 1004 00:41:57,057 --> 00:41:59,058 And I want it in writing. 1005 00:41:59,618 --> 00:42:03,318 Well, step-dada Miles will be so glad 1006 00:42:03,418 --> 00:42:05,358 you came back from your sleepover 1007 00:42:05,458 --> 00:42:08,138 and, uh, are spending Christmas with us after all! 1008 00:42:09,138 --> 00:42:11,078 VIOLET: Hey! Stop it. Hands off. 1009 00:42:11,178 --> 00:42:12,918 -EMMY: Go on! -Quit it! 1010 00:42:13,018 --> 00:42:16,358 -Whose devil child is this? -DAVID: Hi, Violet. 1011 00:42:16,458 --> 00:42:19,158 This is Rita Hay's daughter from two properties down. 1012 00:42:19,258 --> 00:42:21,758 -And we pay her to farmhand. -EMMY: Oh! 1013 00:42:21,858 --> 00:42:23,198 Well, your little farmhand 1014 00:42:23,298 --> 00:42:24,998 almost blew our entire operation. 1015 00:42:25,098 --> 00:42:26,198 -Operation? -Yeah. 1016 00:42:26,298 --> 00:42:28,958 There some kind of spy thing going down? 1017 00:42:29,058 --> 00:42:31,239 Because I can keep a secret. 1018 00:42:31,339 --> 00:42:32,559 EMMY: I need a drink. 1019 00:42:32,659 --> 00:42:34,199 Hey, what's with crazy lady's accent? 1020 00:42:34,299 --> 00:42:36,439 -Remember lovely Clementine? -Yeah. 1021 00:42:36,539 --> 00:42:37,559 That's her offspring. 1022 00:42:37,659 --> 00:42:40,159 Oh, sad sack New Yorker. 1023 00:42:40,259 --> 00:42:41,799 Who called me that? Who called me that? 1024 00:42:41,899 --> 00:42:44,199 Well, whoever it is, she owes me cash. 1025 00:42:44,299 --> 00:42:45,439 EMMY: Yeah! 1026 00:42:45,539 --> 00:42:48,519 Because country bumpkin Wednesday Addams here 1027 00:42:48,619 --> 00:42:52,279 now has London & London thinking she's me...her...my daughter, 1028 00:42:52,379 --> 00:42:55,439 who should be called Emmy and is now named Violet. 1029 00:42:55,539 --> 00:42:57,539 You're the one who said it. 1030 00:42:58,299 --> 00:42:59,439 Wait a second. 1031 00:42:59,539 --> 00:43:01,519 Could we borrow her for a couple of days? 1032 00:43:01,619 --> 00:43:03,640 -VIOLET: Borrow me? -MILES: Um... 1033 00:43:03,740 --> 00:43:05,280 Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. 1034 00:43:05,380 --> 00:43:08,240 Would your parents mind if you weren't with them for Christmas, 1035 00:43:08,340 --> 00:43:10,400 if you were with us, would they miss you? 1036 00:43:10,500 --> 00:43:12,560 Lady, I'm number four of nine kids. 1037 00:43:12,660 --> 00:43:14,400 No-one would even notice I'm gone. 1038 00:43:14,500 --> 00:43:16,840 -Yes! -I'll give her parents a call. 1039 00:43:16,940 --> 00:43:18,440 EMMY: Great. It's settled then. Listen. 1040 00:43:18,540 --> 00:43:23,200 Sweetie, all you're gonna have to do is play make-believe. 1041 00:43:23,300 --> 00:43:26,480 Pretend that I'm your Australian mummy 1042 00:43:26,580 --> 00:43:29,480 and Miles here is your step-dada! 1043 00:43:29,580 --> 00:43:31,880 -Do you think you can do that? -Yeah, I can do that. 1044 00:43:31,980 --> 00:43:32,920 -Great! -For $1,000. 1045 00:43:33,020 --> 00:43:34,040 You're kidding? 1046 00:43:34,140 --> 00:43:35,841 You said you could give me anything I want. 1047 00:43:35,941 --> 00:43:38,561 I can get a lot of things I want for $1,000. 1048 00:43:38,661 --> 00:43:40,561 EMMY: You are a child, right? 1049 00:43:40,661 --> 00:43:42,601 Not a lawyer with a growth deficiency? 1050 00:43:42,701 --> 00:43:44,081 I can just go home, you know. 1051 00:43:44,181 --> 00:43:46,181 That's fine. You're a little... 1052 00:43:47,061 --> 00:43:47,961 500. 1053 00:43:48,061 --> 00:43:49,761 -850. -550. 1054 00:43:49,861 --> 00:43:50,841 700. 1055 00:43:50,941 --> 00:43:53,241 Deal. How old are you, anyway? 1056 00:43:53,341 --> 00:43:55,921 -I'm 10 and three quarters. -Actually, you just turned 12. 1057 00:43:56,021 --> 00:43:58,281 Happy birthday. You're getting a wildly inappropriate cash gift. 1058 00:43:58,381 --> 00:44:00,981 Put the hat back on! You look like Oliver Twist. 1059 00:44:05,701 --> 00:44:06,962 One... 1060 00:44:07,062 --> 00:44:08,922 ..two...three! 1061 00:44:09,022 --> 00:44:10,202 (ALL CHEER) 1062 00:44:10,302 --> 00:44:12,122 There we go. 1063 00:44:12,222 --> 00:44:13,922 Merry Christmas. 1064 00:44:14,022 --> 00:44:15,442 -VIOLET: David. -EMMY: Merry Christmas. 1065 00:44:15,542 --> 00:44:16,922 -MILES: Darling. -Hi. 1066 00:44:17,022 --> 00:44:19,322 -(MILES CHUCKLES) -Dig in, everybody. 1067 00:44:19,422 --> 00:44:21,362 (CHATTER) 1068 00:44:21,462 --> 00:44:24,042 -MILES: Want some more salmon? -DAVID: Thank you, darling. Uh! 1069 00:44:24,142 --> 00:44:26,722 (CHATTER CONTINUES) 1070 00:44:26,822 --> 00:44:29,202 EMMY: Yeah. Lots of chilli, chilli, chillies in there. 1071 00:44:29,302 --> 00:44:32,602 (CHATTER CONTINUES) 1072 00:44:32,702 --> 00:44:34,362 EMMY: Brussels sprouts. 1073 00:44:34,462 --> 00:44:36,282 DAVID: Who would like some more tomatoes? 1074 00:44:36,382 --> 00:44:38,122 I've grown them all myself. 1075 00:44:38,222 --> 00:44:39,763 -MILES: They're lovely. -DAVID: I absolutely... 1076 00:44:39,863 --> 00:44:43,363 It's en... No, no, no. That...that's quite enough. 1077 00:44:43,463 --> 00:44:46,903 (CHATTER CONTINUES) 1078 00:44:56,543 --> 00:45:00,723 So, tell me, American friends... 1079 00:45:00,823 --> 00:45:02,563 -(CHUCKLES) -..do you, um... 1080 00:45:02,663 --> 00:45:05,483 ..visit the homes of prospective authors 1081 00:45:05,583 --> 00:45:07,643 on the other side of the planet often 1082 00:45:07,743 --> 00:45:11,444 or is this a... a special occasion? 1083 00:45:11,544 --> 00:45:13,884 Just standard business practice. 1084 00:45:13,984 --> 00:45:15,244 Oh. 1085 00:45:15,344 --> 00:45:17,044 JACK: We love to...to see all our authors 1086 00:45:17,144 --> 00:45:18,604 before we...we publish them. 1087 00:45:18,704 --> 00:45:21,884 Oh, I had to see the Clementine magic for myself. 1088 00:45:21,984 --> 00:45:24,564 JACK: Yeah. Uh, launching a brand is, uh... 1089 00:45:24,664 --> 00:45:26,484 ..it's a big commitment. 1090 00:45:26,584 --> 00:45:30,244 Oh, uh, I'm a...brand now. 1091 00:45:30,344 --> 00:45:33,764 Um, yeah, I mean, if everything goes the way we hope it does, 1092 00:45:33,864 --> 00:45:37,164 talking about launches in every major market, 1093 00:45:37,264 --> 00:45:39,604 social media blitz, the whole kit and caboodle. 1094 00:45:39,704 --> 00:45:42,804 Wow! All from...one book. 1095 00:45:42,904 --> 00:45:44,645 Maybe even a TV show! (CHUCKLES) 1096 00:45:44,745 --> 00:45:48,485 Oh, my son doesn't champion titles often, 1097 00:45:48,585 --> 00:45:52,245 so his sudden interest in all things...you... (LAUGHS) 1098 00:45:52,345 --> 00:45:55,245 ..that's what has me truly intrigued. 1099 00:45:55,345 --> 00:45:58,845 Yeah. Listen, it's a very special book, Clementine. 1100 00:45:58,945 --> 00:46:02,565 Oh, my God, this is so boring. 1101 00:46:02,665 --> 00:46:05,605 -(LAUGHS) Darling! Darling... -(JACK LAUGHS) 1102 00:46:05,705 --> 00:46:07,445 VIOLET: Why don't we talk about something interesting? 1103 00:46:07,545 --> 00:46:11,145 Like global warming or carbon footprints. 1104 00:46:12,625 --> 00:46:14,045 I bet you own a few boats. 1105 00:46:14,145 --> 00:46:15,566 (LAUGHS) 1106 00:46:15,666 --> 00:46:17,166 -Um... (LAUGHS) -One. 1107 00:46:17,266 --> 00:46:19,726 -And it's a yacht. -Touché. 1108 00:46:19,826 --> 00:46:22,606 Hey, darling, don't you have homework to do? 1109 00:46:22,706 --> 00:46:24,766 It's Christmas Eve Eve. There is no school. 1110 00:46:24,866 --> 00:46:27,246 -Ah, right, no school. -VIOLET: Oh! 1111 00:46:27,346 --> 00:46:29,566 Look! Mistletoe! 1112 00:46:29,666 --> 00:46:31,086 EMMY: That's not mistletoe, darling. 1113 00:46:31,186 --> 00:46:33,086 -That's a weed. -(JACK LAUGHS) 1114 00:46:33,186 --> 00:46:35,806 You and step-dada should kiss. 1115 00:46:35,906 --> 00:46:38,046 Oh... 1116 00:46:38,146 --> 00:46:40,686 -ELLISON: Oh. -No, we don't have to kiss. 1117 00:46:40,786 --> 00:46:44,886 Don't let me stop you. (LAUGHS) 'Tis the season. 1118 00:46:44,986 --> 00:46:47,767 MILES: Oh, yeah! Ha ha! 1119 00:46:47,867 --> 00:46:50,967 -Get it up ya! -OK. (LAUGHS) 1120 00:46:51,067 --> 00:46:52,247 Go, Rover. 1121 00:46:52,347 --> 00:46:56,667 MILES: Hmm! (MOANS PASSIONATELY) 1122 00:46:57,667 --> 00:46:58,727 (CHUCKLES) 1123 00:46:58,827 --> 00:47:00,887 EMMY: Ohhh! 1124 00:47:00,987 --> 00:47:02,767 -(VIOLET CHUCKLES) -(MILES SIGHS) 1125 00:47:02,867 --> 00:47:04,767 -Wasn't that lovely? -(EMMY CHUCKLES) 1126 00:47:04,867 --> 00:47:06,887 You guys are such the perfect match. 1127 00:47:06,987 --> 00:47:10,327 Oh, thank you, darling. Makes us so happy to hear you say that. 1128 00:47:10,427 --> 00:47:12,667 (DAVID CLEARS THROAT) 1129 00:47:13,667 --> 00:47:17,107 I'm just going to go and check on the cheese platters. 1130 00:47:21,348 --> 00:47:23,348 -Ohh. -DAVID: Miles. 1131 00:47:24,028 --> 00:47:26,368 -Got it. (CHUCKLES) -Yeah. 1132 00:47:26,468 --> 00:47:28,768 Yes. Go help him, sweetheart. (SIGHS) 1133 00:47:28,868 --> 00:47:31,308 Aren't we feeling that Christmas spirit now? 1134 00:47:32,948 --> 00:47:34,248 (DAVID EXHALES DEEPLY) 1135 00:47:34,348 --> 00:47:36,768 -Are you OK? -Yeah, yeah, I'm fine. 1136 00:47:36,868 --> 00:47:38,848 -Are you OK? -Yeah. Yeah! 1137 00:47:38,948 --> 00:47:41,888 I just realised, this epiphany, 1138 00:47:41,988 --> 00:47:45,128 that we're living in our favourite movie. 1139 00:47:45,228 --> 00:47:46,888 -'Beaches'? -No! 1140 00:47:46,988 --> 00:47:48,448 'The Birdcage'! 1141 00:47:48,548 --> 00:47:49,928 -Oh! -It's the same! 1142 00:47:50,028 --> 00:47:51,888 It's like I'm Robin Williams. 1143 00:47:51,988 --> 00:47:53,409 I'm Nathan Lane! 1144 00:47:53,509 --> 00:47:54,889 We need an Agador. 1145 00:47:54,989 --> 00:47:56,329 Oh! Ohh. 1146 00:47:56,429 --> 00:48:00,049 You were very...very masculine out there. It was good. 1147 00:48:00,149 --> 00:48:02,309 -(FAN WHIRRS) -(SNORING) 1148 00:48:07,509 --> 00:48:09,509 (MILES SNORES) 1149 00:48:10,829 --> 00:48:12,889 (MILES BREATHES DEEPLY) 1150 00:48:12,989 --> 00:48:15,109 (MILES SNORES) 1151 00:48:17,949 --> 00:48:20,149 (MILES MAKES GUTTURAL NOISES) 1152 00:48:23,629 --> 00:48:25,050 (LAUGHS) 1153 00:48:25,150 --> 00:48:27,250 Yeah. 1154 00:48:27,350 --> 00:48:28,850 (ARM PLOPS) 1155 00:48:28,950 --> 00:48:31,310 (MILES SNORES) 1156 00:48:32,310 --> 00:48:34,790 (MAKES GUTTURAL NOISES) 1157 00:48:40,990 --> 00:48:42,450 (CRICKETS SING) 1158 00:48:42,550 --> 00:48:43,730 (DOOR SHUTS) 1159 00:48:43,830 --> 00:48:46,430 (LIGHT MUSIC) 1160 00:49:13,791 --> 00:49:15,791 Ohh. 1161 00:49:18,071 --> 00:49:20,191 Oh, wow. 1162 00:49:34,272 --> 00:49:35,372 -(BRANCH SNAPS) -Whoa! 1163 00:49:35,472 --> 00:49:37,492 -Oh! -(SCREAMS) 1164 00:49:37,592 --> 00:49:39,592 JACK: What are you...? Ugh! 1165 00:49:41,072 --> 00:49:43,412 -(EMMY SCREAMS) -Oi! Why did you just tackle me? 1166 00:49:43,512 --> 00:49:45,412 What are you doing here? 1167 00:49:45,512 --> 00:49:47,512 What are you doing here? It's my lake! 1168 00:49:48,672 --> 00:49:50,572 I remembered that bit in your book 1169 00:49:50,672 --> 00:49:52,732 where you were talking about swimming with the yabbies. 1170 00:49:52,832 --> 00:49:54,052 I couldn't sleep. 1171 00:49:54,152 --> 00:49:55,492 -Oh! -Are you OK? 1172 00:49:55,592 --> 00:49:57,532 Yes. Right. That's what I'm doing here too. 1173 00:49:57,632 --> 00:49:59,812 -I was very hot. Couldn't sleep. -(LAUGHS) 1174 00:49:59,912 --> 00:50:01,813 And I thought I'd take a swim with the yabbies. 1175 00:50:01,913 --> 00:50:03,493 -I do have one question, though. -Yeah? 1176 00:50:03,593 --> 00:50:05,213 What the hell is a yabby? 1177 00:50:05,313 --> 00:50:08,973 Oh! Well, uh, a yabby is like a cousin to the crab, 1178 00:50:09,073 --> 00:50:10,813 only its parents are also cousins, 1179 00:50:10,913 --> 00:50:12,933 so you don't really talk about it, I guess. 1180 00:50:13,033 --> 00:50:14,773 Oh. Are they dangerous? 1181 00:50:14,873 --> 00:50:16,373 You should work off the assumption 1182 00:50:16,473 --> 00:50:18,693 that everything in Australia is dangerous. 1183 00:50:18,793 --> 00:50:20,133 Sounds fun. 1184 00:50:20,233 --> 00:50:22,233 -Ha. Yeah. -(LAUGHS) 1185 00:50:23,153 --> 00:50:26,453 God, that's something your book really doesn't capture. 1186 00:50:26,553 --> 00:50:27,893 -What? -That sky. 1187 00:50:27,993 --> 00:50:31,433 -Look at it. It's amazing. -Ohh. Yeah. 1188 00:50:32,433 --> 00:50:35,454 I forgot how perfect it is out here at night. 1189 00:50:35,554 --> 00:50:38,214 How can you forget? You get this every single night. 1190 00:50:38,314 --> 00:50:40,894 No, I forgot what it must look like 1191 00:50:40,994 --> 00:50:44,934 to someone who's n-never seen it before. 1192 00:50:45,034 --> 00:50:47,254 Yeah, you don't get that in Manhattan, that's for sure. 1193 00:50:47,354 --> 00:50:49,974 Right? Just constant car horns and the smell of urine! 1194 00:50:50,074 --> 00:50:52,294 -Oh, shit! Something bit me! -Ooh, what? What?! 1195 00:50:52,394 --> 00:50:53,774 -Yeah, yeah. -What do you mean? 1196 00:50:53,874 --> 00:50:54,774 -Oh! Oh! -Oh, where? 1197 00:50:54,874 --> 00:50:56,054 -Ah! Ah! Everywhere! -(SCREAMS) 1198 00:50:56,154 --> 00:50:57,334 Grab your crotch! 1199 00:50:57,434 --> 00:50:58,814 -Grab your crotch! -What? Why? 1200 00:50:58,914 --> 00:51:01,694 Because once they latch on, they're impossible to get off. 1201 00:51:01,794 --> 00:51:03,574 -What is? -The yabbies! 1202 00:51:03,674 --> 00:51:04,774 (SCREAMS) Shit! 1203 00:51:04,874 --> 00:51:06,375 Let's get out! Come on! 1204 00:51:06,475 --> 00:51:08,175 -Ow! My neck! -Which way? Which way? Neck? 1205 00:51:08,275 --> 00:51:10,015 EMMY: No, the other way! Go! Go! 1206 00:51:10,115 --> 00:51:12,115 -Yeah. Oh. -(JACK SHUDDERS) 1207 00:51:13,275 --> 00:51:15,975 Here. Here. Oh. 1208 00:51:16,075 --> 00:51:17,815 You go first. I can support you. 1209 00:51:17,915 --> 00:51:19,815 -(EMMY SCREAMS) -(RIP!) 1210 00:51:19,915 --> 00:51:23,175 Oh, my gosh, was that your hamstring or your pyjamas? 1211 00:51:23,275 --> 00:51:25,375 -I don't know. Maybe both. -(JACK LAUGHS) 1212 00:51:25,475 --> 00:51:27,935 -No. I can't... -I've got an idea. 1213 00:51:28,035 --> 00:51:30,215 -(GROANS) -Don't do it. Don't fall on me. 1214 00:51:30,315 --> 00:51:32,095 -Don't fall on me! (SCREAMS) -(JACK SHOUTS) 1215 00:51:32,195 --> 00:51:34,255 -(EMMY SPLUTTERS) -(JACK LAUGHS) 1216 00:51:34,355 --> 00:51:36,715 This is worse than the yabbies. 1217 00:51:37,715 --> 00:51:38,856 -EMMY: Oh! -JACK: Ooh. 1218 00:51:38,956 --> 00:51:40,456 OK. Right. 1219 00:51:40,556 --> 00:51:41,496 Feeling the breeze? 1220 00:51:41,596 --> 00:51:43,736 What? 1221 00:51:43,836 --> 00:51:45,936 -Do not look. Just be a gent... -Alright. 1222 00:51:46,036 --> 00:51:47,776 -Please avert your eyes. -I'm not looking. 1223 00:51:47,876 --> 00:51:49,016 I'm married. 1224 00:51:49,116 --> 00:51:50,576 (LAUGHS) Not looking. 1225 00:51:50,676 --> 00:51:52,376 EMMY: Don't look! 1226 00:51:52,476 --> 00:51:53,856 (GENTLE MUSIC) 1227 00:51:53,956 --> 00:51:56,736 (NATIVE ANIMAL SOUNDS) 1228 00:51:56,836 --> 00:51:58,176 (GREGORY CLUCKS) 1229 00:51:58,276 --> 00:52:00,096 (DOOR OPENS) 1230 00:52:00,196 --> 00:52:01,696 (CROWS) 1231 00:52:01,796 --> 00:52:03,456 What? 1232 00:52:03,556 --> 00:52:04,576 Morning, sunshine. 1233 00:52:04,676 --> 00:52:05,696 Oh! 1234 00:52:05,796 --> 00:52:07,456 Is that a hickey? 1235 00:52:07,556 --> 00:52:08,976 -What? No! -DAVID: From Jack?! 1236 00:52:09,076 --> 00:52:11,857 -No. It's a yabby welt. -In the bathroom? 1237 00:52:11,957 --> 00:52:13,857 Why are you asleep in the bathtub? 1238 00:52:13,957 --> 00:52:17,497 Uh...because you failed to mention my husband's snoring! 1239 00:52:17,597 --> 00:52:18,977 -Did I? -It's my larynx. 1240 00:52:19,077 --> 00:52:20,617 That's why I'm good at yodelling. 1241 00:52:20,717 --> 00:52:22,537 Yes, he was gifted with a wide larynx. 1242 00:52:22,637 --> 00:52:24,497 No-one likes your larynx, Miles! 1243 00:52:24,597 --> 00:52:26,697 It...it...it... I need to go back to bed. 1244 00:52:26,797 --> 00:52:28,137 -(THUMP!) -Oh. Oh! 1245 00:52:28,237 --> 00:52:29,977 (GREGORY CROWS) 1246 00:52:30,077 --> 00:52:32,117 (GENTLE MUSIC) 1247 00:52:34,357 --> 00:52:36,357 (GROANING) 1248 00:52:37,077 --> 00:52:38,817 (GROANING) 1249 00:52:38,917 --> 00:52:41,217 Good, good. Got it. That's good. 1250 00:52:41,317 --> 00:52:42,738 -(GROANS) -VIOLET: Careful. 1251 00:52:42,838 --> 00:52:44,858 Alright. OK. 1252 00:52:44,958 --> 00:52:47,078 How's it lookin'? 1253 00:52:48,078 --> 00:52:50,698 Oh! Hey! Yep. 1254 00:52:50,798 --> 00:52:52,938 Good and raring and...and ready to go. 1255 00:52:53,038 --> 00:52:55,098 Alright. Let's go. (CLICKS) 1256 00:52:55,198 --> 00:52:56,858 (HORSE WHINNIES) 1257 00:52:56,958 --> 00:52:59,378 OK. Get here. Get... 1258 00:52:59,478 --> 00:53:02,378 This, uh...might surprise you, but I'm not a very good rider. 1259 00:53:02,478 --> 00:53:04,418 I haven't ridden a horse since I was your age. 1260 00:53:04,518 --> 00:53:06,378 -I'm not surprised. -I need some fast reminders. 1261 00:53:06,478 --> 00:53:08,418 OK? Just a few pointers to get me through. 1262 00:53:08,518 --> 00:53:10,378 Say 'yah' a lot and don't fall off. 1263 00:53:10,478 --> 00:53:11,978 -Yah? Yah. -Yah. 1264 00:53:12,078 --> 00:53:14,378 YAH! 1265 00:53:14,478 --> 00:53:16,379 -(HORSE GRUNTS) -I think you're scaring him. 1266 00:53:16,479 --> 00:53:18,659 I think you need to help me push him or something. 1267 00:53:18,759 --> 00:53:20,759 -Come on. (CLICKS) Yah! -I'm not pushing him. 1268 00:53:23,599 --> 00:53:27,579 (PHONE BUZZES) 1269 00:53:27,679 --> 00:53:29,099 (SIGHS) 1270 00:53:29,199 --> 00:53:30,899 -(PHONE BUZZES) -(SCOFFS) 1271 00:53:30,999 --> 00:53:32,999 Nope. 1272 00:53:34,439 --> 00:53:36,959 Hey! Come on. (CLICKS) 1273 00:53:38,719 --> 00:53:40,779 (KISSES) 1274 00:53:40,879 --> 00:53:42,879 MILES: Come on. 1275 00:53:46,079 --> 00:53:47,500 Hey. (CLICKS) Go. 1276 00:53:47,600 --> 00:53:49,620 (HORSE SNORTS) 1277 00:53:49,720 --> 00:53:50,780 (EMMY CLICKS) 1278 00:53:50,880 --> 00:53:52,980 Ooh! Come on, horsey. 1279 00:53:53,080 --> 00:53:56,100 Horsey, horsey, horsey. (CLICKS) 1280 00:53:56,200 --> 00:53:57,620 Whoo! 1281 00:53:57,720 --> 00:54:00,940 Ooh-ooh-ooh. Whoo! (LAUGHS) 1282 00:54:01,040 --> 00:54:04,140 -Are you OK? -Oh, yes. I love horseriding. 1283 00:54:04,240 --> 00:54:07,060 This is just my, uh, preferred method of saddle. 1284 00:54:07,160 --> 00:54:10,980 You seem to know your way around a...a horse really well. 1285 00:54:11,080 --> 00:54:13,860 Yeah, well, Mum and Dad divorced when I was young 1286 00:54:13,960 --> 00:54:15,780 and they thought it'd be a great idea 1287 00:54:15,880 --> 00:54:18,980 to whisk me off to the most prestigious boarding school 1288 00:54:19,080 --> 00:54:20,021 money can buy. 1289 00:54:20,121 --> 00:54:21,381 Oh! 1290 00:54:21,481 --> 00:54:23,621 Fit for kings and queens, you know. 1291 00:54:23,721 --> 00:54:25,661 -Well, that's fancy. (CHUCKLES) -Yeah. 1292 00:54:25,761 --> 00:54:27,341 Continue. 1293 00:54:27,441 --> 00:54:29,381 Well, as it turns out, um, 1294 00:54:29,481 --> 00:54:33,381 co-curricular equestrian is actually a rather effective 1295 00:54:33,481 --> 00:54:35,621 undervalued way of meeting girls. 1296 00:54:35,721 --> 00:54:38,261 -Ha! -So when life gives you lemons. 1297 00:54:38,361 --> 00:54:40,361 You become a charming playboy. 1298 00:54:41,161 --> 00:54:42,581 You think I'm charming? 1299 00:54:42,681 --> 00:54:45,761 No. I didn't...say you were charming. I just... 1300 00:54:46,761 --> 00:54:48,341 You know you're charming. 1301 00:54:48,441 --> 00:54:50,601 Oopsie! Hey, now. 1302 00:54:51,761 --> 00:54:54,022 -Oh, wow! Look at the lake. -Oh, yes! (CLICKS) 1303 00:54:54,122 --> 00:54:55,902 Come on, come on. Go! 1304 00:54:56,002 --> 00:54:57,822 Yah! Come on. 1305 00:54:57,922 --> 00:54:59,922 EMMY: Yah! Come on! 1306 00:55:01,522 --> 00:55:03,822 -Come on! Yah! Yah! Yah! -(HORSE SNORTS) 1307 00:55:03,922 --> 00:55:06,422 No, no, no, no. Not too fast. Alright. Good! 1308 00:55:06,522 --> 00:55:09,102 (BIRDSONG) 1309 00:55:09,202 --> 00:55:14,502 JACK: God, this place! You can just really breathe here, huh? 1310 00:55:14,602 --> 00:55:16,382 EMMY: So you're not missing your Starbucks yet? 1311 00:55:16,482 --> 00:55:17,822 JACK: Oh, please! 1312 00:55:17,922 --> 00:55:20,342 I get my coffee flown in from Italy every morning. 1313 00:55:20,442 --> 00:55:22,642 Oh. Seriously? 1314 00:55:23,842 --> 00:55:24,823 Come on. 1315 00:55:24,923 --> 00:55:26,583 Ah. Huh! Well, with you... 1316 00:55:26,683 --> 00:55:28,943 -(JACK LAUGHS) -..I couldn't really ever know. 1317 00:55:29,043 --> 00:55:31,343 (JACK CHUCKLES) No, I was thinking after all this is over, 1318 00:55:31,443 --> 00:55:33,623 maybe I'd buy myself a little farm somewhere 1319 00:55:33,723 --> 00:55:35,983 and get out of that city life for a while. 1320 00:55:36,083 --> 00:55:37,823 I mean, New York must be exciting, though. 1321 00:55:37,923 --> 00:55:39,903 Big business, big publishing. 1322 00:55:40,003 --> 00:55:41,823 -So... -Predictable. 1323 00:55:41,923 --> 00:55:44,263 -Really? -Oh, yeah. What's the phrase? 1324 00:55:44,363 --> 00:55:45,743 You know, on top of every mountain 1325 00:55:45,843 --> 00:55:46,943 there's just another mountain. 1326 00:55:47,043 --> 00:55:51,503 Uh...I don't think that is actually a phrase. 1327 00:55:51,603 --> 00:55:53,263 I think you just made that up. 1328 00:55:53,363 --> 00:55:55,223 Maybe. I might have made that up. (LAUGHS) 1329 00:55:55,323 --> 00:55:58,024 I don't know. You're the writer. I'm just the disappointment. 1330 00:55:58,124 --> 00:56:00,984 I'm sure nobody thinks you're a disappointment. 1331 00:56:01,084 --> 00:56:02,384 Uh, yeah. 1332 00:56:02,484 --> 00:56:03,824 They do. (CHUCKLES) 1333 00:56:03,924 --> 00:56:06,624 It's OK. I definitely earnt the reputation. 1334 00:56:06,724 --> 00:56:09,424 But finding you... 1335 00:56:09,524 --> 00:56:13,044 ..that's something very, very good. 1336 00:56:15,084 --> 00:56:16,864 Jack... 1337 00:56:16,964 --> 00:56:19,824 ..there's something I want to, um, tell you... 1338 00:56:19,924 --> 00:56:21,064 (VEHICLE APPROACHES) 1339 00:56:21,164 --> 00:56:22,824 ..and I think that, um... 1340 00:56:22,924 --> 00:56:24,224 ..it's important. 1341 00:56:24,324 --> 00:56:26,464 (HORN HONKS) 1342 00:56:26,564 --> 00:56:28,865 VIOLET: Quick! Dolly's gone into labour! 1343 00:56:28,965 --> 00:56:30,665 What?! 1344 00:56:30,765 --> 00:56:33,265 The bovine's about to blow, love! 1345 00:56:33,365 --> 00:56:35,365 Now?! 1346 00:56:36,125 --> 00:56:38,645 -The bovine's about to blow. -OK. 1347 00:56:41,205 --> 00:56:42,665 (DOLLY MOOS) 1348 00:56:42,765 --> 00:56:44,765 Shh, shh, shh, shh. 1349 00:56:48,205 --> 00:56:50,205 (JACK CHUCKLES) Oh. 1350 00:56:50,645 --> 00:56:51,985 How is she? 1351 00:56:52,085 --> 00:56:54,905 You asked for the full Fig Tree experience. 1352 00:56:55,005 --> 00:56:56,545 -(DOLLY MOOS) -Uh, Dolly's in pain. 1353 00:56:56,645 --> 00:56:58,665 The calf's legs are twisting. 1354 00:56:58,765 --> 00:57:00,946 But, um, if we all... 1355 00:57:01,046 --> 00:57:02,426 Come here. 1356 00:57:02,526 --> 00:57:05,706 ..work together, we can get this part over pretty quickly. 1357 00:57:05,806 --> 00:57:07,826 -(HESITANTLY) Mm-hm. -DAVID: Alright. Jack. 1358 00:57:07,926 --> 00:57:10,226 You look like you've seen a cervix or two in your time. 1359 00:57:10,326 --> 00:57:12,026 Would you mind joining me at the birthing end? 1360 00:57:12,126 --> 00:57:13,746 Uh... 1361 00:57:13,846 --> 00:57:15,306 (HESITANTLY) Yeah. 1362 00:57:15,406 --> 00:57:17,306 Clementine. 1363 00:57:17,406 --> 00:57:19,306 -You are our farm girl. -(DOLLY LOWS) 1364 00:57:19,406 --> 00:57:21,866 -Are your hands clean? -Cleaner than that. 1365 00:57:21,966 --> 00:57:23,826 -Put some gloves on. -Ooh. 1366 00:57:23,926 --> 00:57:25,926 DAVID: You're gonna have to help me pull. 1367 00:57:28,286 --> 00:57:31,226 (GAGS) God! There's hot steam! 1368 00:57:31,326 --> 00:57:33,427 -OK, we're breaching. -What?! 1369 00:57:33,527 --> 00:57:35,107 Oh, yeah. OK. Here we go. 1370 00:57:35,207 --> 00:57:36,827 Come on. I need you to be hands-in. 1371 00:57:36,927 --> 00:57:38,707 -What? Grab? -DAVID: That's it. Yeah. Grab. 1372 00:57:38,807 --> 00:57:40,507 -DAVID: Right. OK, on three. -We're pulling? 1373 00:57:40,607 --> 00:57:42,227 -(DOLLY MOOS) -Yeah, yeah, OK. Good. 1374 00:57:42,327 --> 00:57:44,467 -Yeah. You... -One, two, three! 1375 00:57:44,567 --> 00:57:46,587 PULL! 1376 00:57:46,687 --> 00:57:47,787 Oh! 1377 00:57:47,887 --> 00:57:50,187 -(SCREAMS) -(LIQUID SPLASHES) 1378 00:57:50,287 --> 00:57:51,667 (JACK CHUCKLES) 1379 00:57:51,767 --> 00:57:53,707 DAVID: Oh! Shh. Shh. Shh. Shh. 1380 00:57:53,807 --> 00:57:56,347 -JACK: Oh! (CHUCKLES) -Oh! Oh. 1381 00:57:56,447 --> 00:57:58,467 Hello! 1382 00:57:58,567 --> 00:58:00,707 -Good girl, good girl. -(DOLLY MOOS) 1383 00:58:00,807 --> 00:58:02,307 JACK: Ohh. 1384 00:58:02,407 --> 00:58:04,707 -Wow. -VIOLET: Oh, my gosh. 1385 00:58:04,807 --> 00:58:07,508 -She's so cute. -Hey. How are you? 1386 00:58:07,608 --> 00:58:09,428 -VIOLET: She's so slimy. -JACK: Yeah. 1387 00:58:09,528 --> 00:58:11,028 -(EMMY CHUCKLES) -VIOLET: Can I name her? 1388 00:58:11,128 --> 00:58:13,128 Sure. 1389 00:58:13,888 --> 00:58:15,988 -Marilyn Moo-roe. -(LAUGHS) 1390 00:58:16,088 --> 00:58:17,708 (JACK CHUCKLES) 1391 00:58:17,808 --> 00:58:20,588 Marilyn Moo-roe! (LAUGHS) 1392 00:58:20,688 --> 00:58:24,208 Welcome to Fig Tree Farm, Marilyn Moo-roe. 1393 00:58:26,808 --> 00:58:29,208 (CHATTER) 1394 00:58:31,328 --> 00:58:32,748 (JACK AND EMMY LAUGH) 1395 00:58:32,848 --> 00:58:34,348 EMMY: That was, um... 1396 00:58:34,448 --> 00:58:36,068 -Really special. -Yeah. 1397 00:58:36,168 --> 00:58:38,169 Yeah. It was. 1398 00:58:38,729 --> 00:58:40,989 Uh, Clementine, I think you've got a bit of... 1399 00:58:41,089 --> 00:58:42,589 ..afterbirth in your hair. 1400 00:58:42,689 --> 00:58:44,509 Oh! Oh... Ugh! Oh, God! 1401 00:58:44,609 --> 00:58:46,229 No, no. You still look beautif... Fine. 1402 00:58:46,329 --> 00:58:47,789 -Oh, that's so gross! -You look fine. 1403 00:58:47,889 --> 00:58:48,989 -It's gross! -(HORN HONKS) 1404 00:58:49,089 --> 00:58:51,089 So... What the...? 1405 00:58:55,009 --> 00:58:56,989 (SULTRY MUSIC) 1406 00:58:57,089 --> 00:58:59,829 Feliz Navidad, party people! 1407 00:58:59,929 --> 00:59:01,629 (AVALON SQUEALS) 1408 00:59:01,729 --> 00:59:02,789 (GIGGLES) 1409 00:59:02,889 --> 00:59:03,909 (JACK CHUCKLES AWKWARDLY) 1410 00:59:04,009 --> 00:59:05,149 Surprised, my pineapple? 1411 00:59:05,249 --> 00:59:06,429 Yeah. What are you doing here? 1412 00:59:06,529 --> 00:59:08,829 AVALON: I'm saving you, like I said I would. 1413 00:59:08,929 --> 00:59:10,110 Huh? 1414 00:59:10,210 --> 00:59:11,990 Did I mention that I still have your card number? 1415 00:59:12,090 --> 00:59:14,190 There may just be like a tiny charge for the car 1416 00:59:14,290 --> 00:59:15,750 and the trip to Bora Bora. 1417 00:59:15,850 --> 00:59:17,670 -The what? -Hi! 1418 00:59:17,770 --> 00:59:20,870 Hello, hello! I'm Avalon, Jack's girlfriend. 1419 00:59:20,970 --> 00:59:22,470 No, uh, not a couple, actually. 1420 00:59:22,570 --> 00:59:24,470 You must be the big-time author! 1421 00:59:24,570 --> 00:59:25,790 Hi! 1422 00:59:25,890 --> 00:59:28,550 Is your farm, like, 'Babe', the pig, the movie? 1423 00:59:28,650 --> 00:59:30,070 Are there pigs? 1424 00:59:30,170 --> 00:59:33,550 Uh... I... Yeah...yeah... No. 1425 00:59:33,650 --> 00:59:36,070 No, there are no...no...no pigs. 1426 00:59:36,170 --> 00:59:38,590 Oh! Bummer. Well, that's too bad. 1427 00:59:38,690 --> 00:59:41,470 You both look so festive in all that black. 1428 00:59:41,570 --> 00:59:44,751 Drinks, anyone? Fig Tree Fizz? 1429 00:59:44,851 --> 00:59:46,511 -AVALON: I am so sorry... -(MOUTHS) 1430 00:59:46,611 --> 00:59:48,071 ..to intrude, everyone. 1431 00:59:48,171 --> 00:59:50,751 It's just that, um, I really need Jackie's help. 1432 00:59:50,851 --> 00:59:54,671 Um...my grandmother is sick, you see, um... 1433 00:59:54,771 --> 00:59:57,111 -Oh. -(CRYING) Sorry. Sorry. 1434 00:59:57,211 --> 01:00:02,431 Um...she, uh...she ran out of her medication on vacation 1435 01:00:02,531 --> 01:00:04,671 in, um, Bora Bora. 1436 01:00:04,771 --> 01:00:07,951 Uh, and, uh, I have to go 1437 01:00:08,051 --> 01:00:12,031 and I really need, um...really need Jack to come to Bora Bora 1438 01:00:12,131 --> 01:00:13,391 with me. 1439 01:00:13,491 --> 01:00:15,632 ELLISON: If your grandmother needs help, 1440 01:00:15,732 --> 01:00:17,392 I'll call my personal physician. 1441 01:00:17,492 --> 01:00:19,492 It'll be much faster. 1442 01:00:20,492 --> 01:00:24,432 Uh...well, the thing is, um, 1443 01:00:24,532 --> 01:00:27,872 Granny is with her, uh, gentleman friend 1444 01:00:27,972 --> 01:00:32,512 and he, uh, is trying to sell her...her body 1445 01:00:32,612 --> 01:00:34,232 on the Bora Bora black market. 1446 01:00:34,332 --> 01:00:35,992 Awful. 1447 01:00:36,092 --> 01:00:38,392 I'm sorry, I just, um... 1448 01:00:38,492 --> 01:00:40,192 Excuse me for a minute. 1449 01:00:40,292 --> 01:00:42,072 JACK: Hmm. 1450 01:00:42,172 --> 01:00:44,512 -Mmm! -(CHUCKLES AWKWARDLY) Yeah. 1451 01:00:44,612 --> 01:00:46,612 (DOOR CLOSES) 1452 01:00:47,653 --> 01:00:49,653 (GENTLE MUSIC) 1453 01:00:51,853 --> 01:00:53,853 (MUNCHING NOISES) 1454 01:01:01,933 --> 01:01:03,473 Miles thought you'd need it. 1455 01:01:03,573 --> 01:01:05,113 Oh, thank you! 1456 01:01:05,213 --> 01:01:07,373 I...I do. I need it. 1457 01:01:08,493 --> 01:01:10,473 Is this about that gazillionaire guy? 1458 01:01:10,573 --> 01:01:12,573 That's not even a real number. 1459 01:01:13,373 --> 01:01:15,393 Did you see her? 1460 01:01:15,493 --> 01:01:16,793 Ohhh! 1461 01:01:16,893 --> 01:01:19,454 I mean, she's like... 1462 01:01:20,454 --> 01:01:21,914 ..perfect, like a...like a... 1463 01:01:22,014 --> 01:01:25,514 ..like a princess in...Louboutins. 1464 01:01:25,614 --> 01:01:27,614 And you're...? 1465 01:01:28,454 --> 01:01:30,554 Sitting in a pantry stress-eating 1466 01:01:30,654 --> 01:01:32,234 with cow placenta in my hair, 1467 01:01:32,334 --> 01:01:34,154 pretending to be somebody I'm not. 1468 01:01:34,254 --> 01:01:37,954 With a 10 and three quarters 12-year-old. 1469 01:01:38,054 --> 01:01:40,434 Lady, I've known you two days, and on the whole, 1470 01:01:40,534 --> 01:01:43,714 I'd say you're a...whole ice-cream store of crazy. 1471 01:01:43,814 --> 01:01:47,174 -OK, this is really not helping. -But he likes you better anyway. 1472 01:01:48,254 --> 01:01:49,394 You think? 1473 01:01:49,494 --> 01:01:51,435 D'uh! 1474 01:01:51,535 --> 01:01:54,315 Of course he does. Now, go get yourself cleaned up. 1475 01:01:54,415 --> 01:01:55,955 (LAUGHS) 1476 01:01:56,055 --> 01:01:57,355 Oh, God! 1477 01:01:57,455 --> 01:01:59,515 (BREATHES DEEPLY) 1478 01:01:59,615 --> 01:02:02,075 CLEMENTINE: That's the way it rolls sometimes. 1479 01:02:02,175 --> 01:02:05,835 There'll be great days, there'll be good days, 1480 01:02:05,935 --> 01:02:10,175 and there'll be bad, not fun, downright ghastly days. 1481 01:02:11,175 --> 01:02:14,635 But if you stay strong and never, ever give up, 1482 01:02:14,735 --> 01:02:19,575 you'll find a way to make even the wildest of dreams... 1483 01:02:22,015 --> 01:02:24,016 (DOOR CLOSES) 1484 01:02:24,776 --> 01:02:26,476 -(SCREEN DOOR CLOSES) -..a reality. 1485 01:02:26,576 --> 01:02:28,576 (UPLIFTING MUSIC) 1486 01:02:35,856 --> 01:02:41,076 ♪ Oh...oh 1487 01:02:41,176 --> 01:02:42,516 ♪ Oh-oh... ♪ 1488 01:02:42,616 --> 01:02:45,796 -(HORN HONKS) -Oi, Clem, what's the hold-up? 1489 01:02:45,896 --> 01:02:47,636 -I'm here. -Good. 1490 01:02:47,736 --> 01:02:49,636 You're in the back with Jack and Avon. 1491 01:02:49,736 --> 01:02:51,956 -Avalon. -DAVID: Avon...alon. 1492 01:02:52,056 --> 01:02:55,056 -(WHISPERS) She looks hot. -I know. 1493 01:03:05,697 --> 01:03:07,477 (CHATTER) 1494 01:03:07,577 --> 01:03:10,237 -So tell me how you guys met. -Mmm! 1495 01:03:10,337 --> 01:03:14,357 Uh, it's, uh...it's not really a very interesting story. 1496 01:03:14,457 --> 01:03:18,077 Stop! It was at Leo's New Year's Eve party two years ago. 1497 01:03:18,177 --> 01:03:20,757 I was working as a brand ambassador for Egg-Vod. 1498 01:03:20,857 --> 01:03:23,157 -Wow. -Uh...what? What? What? 1499 01:03:23,257 --> 01:03:26,197 Oh, cute. Um, it's this eggnog-flavoured vodka. 1500 01:03:26,297 --> 01:03:28,638 You have to act like you like it, sell people on it. 1501 01:03:28,738 --> 01:03:31,598 But you can't let them get too drunk because if they barf, 1502 01:03:31,698 --> 01:03:34,678 then they'll forever associate with the brand. 1503 01:03:34,778 --> 01:03:37,198 -I'm glad I asked. -JACK: Mmm. 1504 01:03:37,298 --> 01:03:38,798 It takes real talent. 1505 01:03:38,898 --> 01:03:40,718 EMMY: Mm. Mm. 1506 01:03:40,818 --> 01:03:43,558 Anyways, um, how did you and Clementine meet? 1507 01:03:43,658 --> 01:03:45,158 I haven't read your book. Sorry. 1508 01:03:45,258 --> 01:03:48,558 -Ahh. -Ohh! Bloody romantic, mate. 1509 01:03:48,658 --> 01:03:50,958 You want to tell this one, Em...Clem? 1510 01:03:51,058 --> 01:03:52,878 -No. I... No. -No? 1511 01:03:52,978 --> 01:03:54,878 True love should be shared. 1512 01:03:54,978 --> 01:03:59,158 Long story short, Clemmy was a reporter from the big smoke. 1513 01:03:59,258 --> 01:04:00,158 Mmm! 1514 01:04:00,258 --> 01:04:01,719 Then she flew on out to... 1515 01:04:01,819 --> 01:04:03,799 ..Walkabout Creek. 1516 01:04:03,899 --> 01:04:06,319 -EMMY: I guess. -MILES: You did. 1517 01:04:06,419 --> 01:04:09,559 I-I-I-I...I...I did. 1518 01:04:09,659 --> 01:04:12,279 And she asked my mate Wally 1519 01:04:12,379 --> 01:04:15,159 for a guide to show her around. 1520 01:04:15,259 --> 01:04:18,359 -Miles! Darling. -I...was the guide. (LAUGHS) 1521 01:04:18,459 --> 01:04:21,519 -Oh, no, no, no, no. (LAUGHS) -(KISSES HAND REPEATEDLY) 1522 01:04:21,619 --> 01:04:24,919 No-one wants to hear this boring story. 1523 01:04:25,019 --> 01:04:26,359 Yes, we do! 1524 01:04:26,459 --> 01:04:27,919 -Oh. Yeah, OK. -That's... 1525 01:04:28,019 --> 01:04:29,279 Yeah, OK. Uh... 1526 01:04:29,379 --> 01:04:32,279 Before we knew it, we were chasing buffaloes 1527 01:04:32,379 --> 01:04:34,200 and hunting crocs! 1528 01:04:34,300 --> 01:04:37,360 And somehow in all of that, we fell in love. 1529 01:04:37,460 --> 01:04:41,280 We did, and that's about it. Just fell in love, love, love. 1530 01:04:41,380 --> 01:04:43,480 And it was love, love...love. 1531 01:04:43,580 --> 01:04:45,160 -MILES: Deep love. Pure love. -Yes. Mmm. 1532 01:04:45,260 --> 01:04:46,880 Pure like my home brew. 1533 01:04:46,980 --> 01:04:49,240 You know, that...that story just... 1534 01:04:49,340 --> 01:04:51,800 It sounds so familiar. (CHUCKLES) 1535 01:04:51,900 --> 01:04:53,400 Wait. 1536 01:04:53,500 --> 01:04:56,560 Uh...I thought you guys met in a creek. 1537 01:04:56,660 --> 01:04:58,660 (UNCERTAINLY) Yeah... 1538 01:04:59,540 --> 01:05:00,560 BOTH: Walkabout Creek. 1539 01:05:00,660 --> 01:05:01,680 Yes! Walkabout... Walkabout Creek. 1540 01:05:01,780 --> 01:05:02,840 -VIOLET: Attention. -Whoa! 1541 01:05:02,940 --> 01:05:04,760 -Oh! Ohhh. -MILES: Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! 1542 01:05:04,860 --> 01:05:07,201 -EMMY: It's our little darling. -(LAUGHS) That's my girl. 1543 01:05:07,301 --> 01:05:09,041 -Oh, that's our girl. -VIOLET: Attention. 1544 01:05:09,141 --> 01:05:10,601 -MILES: Our girl! -EMMY: Our girl. 1545 01:05:10,701 --> 01:05:12,921 The kids of Emu Springs have a special message 1546 01:05:13,021 --> 01:05:14,201 for all you losers. 1547 01:05:14,301 --> 01:05:16,201 (EMMY SIGHS, THEN LAUGHS) 1548 01:05:16,301 --> 01:05:18,241 (KIDS SING) ♪ Dashing through the scrub 1549 01:05:18,341 --> 01:05:20,761 -♪ In a rustic 4x4... ♪ -EMMY AND MILES: Ohhh! 1550 01:05:20,861 --> 01:05:24,041 -♪ Daddy's dodging roos... ♪ -Aren't you proud? 1551 01:05:24,141 --> 01:05:26,441 ♪ While Mum heads to the store 1552 01:05:26,541 --> 01:05:28,961 ♪ Kids are in the back 1553 01:05:29,061 --> 01:05:31,601 ♪ Swatting blowies left and right 1554 01:05:31,701 --> 01:05:34,441 ♪ It's Christmastime down under 1555 01:05:34,541 --> 01:05:36,841 ♪ And the sun is blooming bright 1556 01:05:36,941 --> 01:05:40,202 ♪ Hey! Jingle bells, jingle bells 1557 01:05:40,302 --> 01:05:42,082 (OTHERS SING ALONG) ♪ Jingle all the way 1558 01:05:42,182 --> 01:05:44,722 ♪ There's better times for a barbecue 1559 01:05:44,822 --> 01:05:47,762 ♪ Than a scorching Christmas Day, hey! 1560 01:05:47,862 --> 01:05:50,282 ♪ Jingle bells, jingle bells 1561 01:05:50,382 --> 01:05:52,722 ♪ A tinny and your thongs 1562 01:05:52,822 --> 01:05:55,442 ♪ There's nothing like a cold one 1563 01:05:55,542 --> 01:05:57,322 ♪ At the Aussie billabong 1564 01:05:57,422 --> 01:06:00,202 ♪ Hey! Jingle bells, jingle bells 1565 01:06:00,302 --> 01:06:02,082 ♪ With a tinny and your thongs 1566 01:06:02,182 --> 01:06:04,842 ♪ There's nothing like a cold one 1567 01:06:04,942 --> 01:06:09,963 ♪ At the Aussie billabong. ♪ 1568 01:06:10,063 --> 01:06:12,963 (CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) 1569 01:06:13,063 --> 01:06:15,323 -That's my daughter! -EMMY: That's our daughter! 1570 01:06:15,423 --> 01:06:17,423 -MILES: Our daughter! -(CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) 1571 01:06:23,463 --> 01:06:24,723 Oh. 1572 01:06:24,823 --> 01:06:27,603 Ha! Wow, that was different. (LAUGHS) 1573 01:06:27,703 --> 01:06:31,683 -DRIVER: Merry Christmas! -EMMY: Oh. Merry Christmas! 1574 01:06:31,783 --> 01:06:33,783 JACK: Merry Christmas! 1575 01:06:35,103 --> 01:06:37,783 -(JACK CHUCKLES) -EMMY: Oh! 1576 01:06:38,783 --> 01:06:40,203 -Wow. -Wow. 1577 01:06:40,303 --> 01:06:42,724 CLEMENTINE: 'Twas the night before Christmas 1578 01:06:42,824 --> 01:06:44,824 and all through our town... 1579 01:06:45,824 --> 01:06:48,764 ..no creature was stirring, 1580 01:06:48,864 --> 01:06:51,204 not a roo left around. 1581 01:06:51,304 --> 01:06:53,304 -LITTLE EMMY: Not even one? -No. 1582 01:06:54,024 --> 01:06:56,764 And as midnight grew closer, 1583 01:06:56,864 --> 01:06:58,204 we snuggled into bed. 1584 01:06:58,304 --> 01:07:00,304 (LAUGHS) 1585 01:07:03,224 --> 01:07:04,644 Ahhh. 1586 01:07:04,744 --> 01:07:07,284 As visions of gumnuts and fairy bread... 1587 01:07:07,384 --> 01:07:09,084 -(SOFTLY) Shh! Merry Christmas. -Merry Christmas. 1588 01:07:09,184 --> 01:07:12,144 ..swirled in our heads. 1589 01:07:13,144 --> 01:07:17,405 Then, all of a sudden, what should arise? 1590 01:07:17,505 --> 01:07:21,905 A flash of bright red soared through the skies! 1591 01:07:25,305 --> 01:07:27,745 (MILES LAUGHS) 1592 01:07:32,065 --> 01:07:33,725 -Aussie Santa was here... -(LAUGHS) 1593 01:07:33,825 --> 01:07:35,825 ..to make things too right. 1594 01:07:39,385 --> 01:07:41,765 And as he slipped down our chimney 1595 01:07:41,865 --> 01:07:44,005 in his boardies and tights, 1596 01:07:44,105 --> 01:07:48,126 he shouted, "Merry Aussie Christmas to all! 1597 01:07:48,226 --> 01:07:51,626 "And to all a good night." 1598 01:08:03,426 --> 01:08:05,786 (KOOKABURRA LAUGHS) 1599 01:08:07,866 --> 01:08:10,146 (BIRD CAWS) 1600 01:08:13,626 --> 01:08:14,526 (BOTTLE POPS) 1601 01:08:14,626 --> 01:08:16,286 -MILES: Whoa! -AVALON: Whoa! 1602 01:08:16,386 --> 01:08:19,247 -EMMY: Merry Christmas! -JACK: Merry Christmas! 1603 01:08:19,347 --> 01:08:21,047 (LAUGHTER) 1604 01:08:21,147 --> 01:08:22,487 -AVALON: Thank you. -(JACK LAUGHS) 1605 01:08:22,587 --> 01:08:24,727 -VIOLET: Man alive! -Look at the size of that fly. 1606 01:08:24,827 --> 01:08:26,047 -(FLY BUZZES AWAY) -ELLISON: Oh! 1607 01:08:26,147 --> 01:08:28,887 -So...what do you think? -(WHISPERS) Good job. 1608 01:08:28,987 --> 01:08:31,047 DAVID: I think you should say something. 1609 01:08:31,147 --> 01:08:33,927 -Like a toast? -Yeah, do a toast. 1610 01:08:34,027 --> 01:08:35,207 -Oh. -(FLY BUZZES) 1611 01:08:35,307 --> 01:08:37,287 -OK. Um... -Come on. 1612 01:08:37,387 --> 01:08:40,007 EMMY: OK, alright, alright. I just, um... 1613 01:08:40,107 --> 01:08:44,287 Before we, uh, get stuck into all this delicious food... 1614 01:08:44,387 --> 01:08:47,087 -And wine. -And wine. 1615 01:08:47,187 --> 01:08:48,767 -..I just wanted to say... -(FLY BUZZES) 1616 01:08:48,867 --> 01:08:51,888 ..how grateful we are to have 1617 01:08:51,988 --> 01:08:53,528 London & London here 1618 01:08:53,628 --> 01:08:56,608 for a very special Fig Tree Farm Christmas. 1619 01:08:56,708 --> 01:08:58,768 Ripper! -Ripper is right! 1620 01:08:58,868 --> 01:09:00,008 -EMMY: Uh... -(FLY BUZZES) 1621 01:09:00,108 --> 01:09:01,848 There really isn't a traditional Australian, 1622 01:09:01,948 --> 01:09:05,568 um, Christmas, pfft, toast - ooh! - I don't think. 1623 01:09:05,668 --> 01:09:08,288 So I'm just gonna make one up, OK? Um... 1624 01:09:08,388 --> 01:09:10,888 Here's to...lunch... 1625 01:09:10,988 --> 01:09:11,888 (FLY BUZZES) 1626 01:09:11,988 --> 01:09:13,408 ..among the gum trees. 1627 01:09:13,508 --> 01:09:17,208 So may your jumbucks stay jolly and, um... 1628 01:09:17,308 --> 01:09:18,888 The prawn salad's melting, Clem. 1629 01:09:18,988 --> 01:09:22,048 ..may all your Christmases be bright. 1630 01:09:22,148 --> 01:09:23,609 DAVID: To Clementine 1631 01:09:23,709 --> 01:09:28,049 and the beautiful world that she created here at Fig Tree Farm. 1632 01:09:28,149 --> 01:09:30,089 May it always prosper. 1633 01:09:30,189 --> 01:09:31,889 -ELLISON: Merry Christmas. -VIOLET: Merry Christmas! 1634 01:09:31,989 --> 01:09:33,169 Merry Christmas! 1635 01:09:33,269 --> 01:09:34,729 -AVALON: Merry Christmas! -JACK: Merry Christmas. 1636 01:09:34,829 --> 01:09:36,529 MILES: Merry Christmas! 1637 01:09:36,629 --> 01:09:37,569 EMMY: Whoo! 1638 01:09:37,669 --> 01:09:39,049 DAVID: Up your bum. 1639 01:09:39,149 --> 01:09:40,649 Up your bum. Phwoar! 1640 01:09:40,749 --> 01:09:42,369 Um, why don't we, uh... 1641 01:09:42,469 --> 01:09:44,769 Sorry. ..move this inside? 1642 01:09:44,869 --> 01:09:46,489 JACK: Yeah. Inside. Inside. 1643 01:09:46,589 --> 01:09:49,889 (JOLLY MUSIC AND CHATTER) 1644 01:09:49,989 --> 01:09:51,929 -Alright. Got it? -Yeah. I got it. 1645 01:09:52,029 --> 01:09:53,529 (CHATTER) 1646 01:09:53,629 --> 01:09:55,450 (CLUCKS) 1647 01:09:55,550 --> 01:09:57,130 (BONBON SNAPS) 1648 01:09:57,230 --> 01:09:59,250 -Whoa! -Winner wears the crown, right? 1649 01:09:59,350 --> 01:10:01,410 Have you ever ridden a kangaroo to school? 1650 01:10:01,510 --> 01:10:02,650 No. 1651 01:10:02,750 --> 01:10:04,370 You look very nice in all that colour. 1652 01:10:04,470 --> 01:10:05,810 JACK: It matches your eyes. 1653 01:10:05,910 --> 01:10:07,910 (WHISPERS) You're actually having fun, Mother! 1654 01:10:08,830 --> 01:10:10,650 Why do Australians hate the word ketchup? 1655 01:10:10,750 --> 01:10:12,750 Why do Americans hate the metric system? 1656 01:10:13,630 --> 01:10:15,690 -Merry Christmas. -Merry Christmas. 1657 01:10:15,790 --> 01:10:17,170 AVALON: Do you really eat Vegemite? 1658 01:10:17,270 --> 01:10:19,770 Or is that just a cruel joke you people play on the world? 1659 01:10:19,870 --> 01:10:20,930 You tell me. 1660 01:10:21,030 --> 01:10:23,170 Where did you get that? 1661 01:10:23,270 --> 01:10:25,090 -(DAVID SPEAKS) -Oh, sorry. 1662 01:10:25,190 --> 01:10:26,770 -You can have it. -No, you go. 1663 01:10:26,870 --> 01:10:29,651 -Mmm! Yum! Yum! -VIOLET: Have more bread. 1664 01:10:29,751 --> 01:10:32,971 -JACK: Oh. Look, you go. -You can have my strawberry. 1665 01:10:33,071 --> 01:10:35,371 There's plenty. May I? 1666 01:10:35,471 --> 01:10:36,651 Yes. 1667 01:10:36,751 --> 01:10:38,411 -Ooh-ah! -(GAGS) 1668 01:10:38,511 --> 01:10:40,331 (CHATTER CONTINUES) 1669 01:10:40,431 --> 01:10:41,971 JACK: Um, can I have this one? 1670 01:10:42,071 --> 01:10:43,411 (LAUGHS) 1671 01:10:43,511 --> 01:10:45,171 That was absolutely the worst throw 1672 01:10:45,271 --> 01:10:46,851 I've ever seen in my life. 1673 01:10:46,951 --> 01:10:50,051 You're the worst catcher. Try again. Ooh! (LAUGHS) 1674 01:10:50,151 --> 01:10:51,491 You're trying to break my teeth. 1675 01:10:51,591 --> 01:10:53,591 -EMMY: That was close. -Another go. 1676 01:10:53,911 --> 01:10:55,731 -Oh! (LAUGHS) -MILES: Anyone need more plonk? 1677 01:10:55,831 --> 01:10:59,371 -Plonk? -Plonk. Alcohol. A drink, love. 1678 01:10:59,471 --> 01:11:02,292 Oh! I can't. I'm so tiny. 1679 01:11:02,392 --> 01:11:04,332 -I'll be so hungover. -(EMMY LAUGHS) 1680 01:11:04,432 --> 01:11:07,652 Well, we could always use Clemmy's old hangover cure. 1681 01:11:07,752 --> 01:11:09,332 Oh, yeah, vinegar and milk! 1682 01:11:09,432 --> 01:11:13,852 That'll stop you from wanting to drink ever again! (CHUCKLES) 1683 01:11:13,952 --> 01:11:15,492 Vinegar and milk? 1684 01:11:15,592 --> 01:11:18,092 I met a woman recently in New York 1685 01:11:18,192 --> 01:11:20,492 and that was her remedy as well. 1686 01:11:20,592 --> 01:11:22,532 What a coincidence! 1687 01:11:22,632 --> 01:11:24,872 Whoa! You met a woman? 1688 01:11:25,912 --> 01:11:27,912 Which woman, Jack? 1689 01:11:30,312 --> 01:11:33,773 Hey, why don't we have a game of Christmas charades? 1690 01:11:33,873 --> 01:11:34,973 MILES: Hey! 1691 01:11:35,073 --> 01:11:36,973 VIOLET: Um, OK. 1692 01:11:37,073 --> 01:11:40,133 -Um, two words. Uh...movie. -AVALON: OK. 1693 01:11:40,233 --> 01:11:42,233 'Now I See You'. 1694 01:11:42,833 --> 01:11:46,933 I know, 'cause it's right there. There. 1695 01:11:47,033 --> 01:11:49,033 You're the "Blue da-ba-da-di" girl. 1696 01:11:49,713 --> 01:11:51,893 I know a bad dye job when I see one. 1697 01:11:51,993 --> 01:11:54,453 Maybe the men don't have the eyes. 1698 01:11:54,553 --> 01:11:56,093 But I see. 1699 01:11:56,193 --> 01:11:58,893 But I'm not blonde. (LAUGHS) So... 1700 01:11:58,993 --> 01:12:00,293 AVALON: What about poor Miles? 1701 01:12:00,393 --> 01:12:02,573 Isn't that your wife with my boyfriend? 1702 01:12:02,673 --> 01:12:04,814 -I'm not your boyfriend! -AVALON: Oh. 1703 01:12:04,914 --> 01:12:06,914 And she's not his wife. 1704 01:12:08,114 --> 01:12:09,934 -You two are a couple. -What? 1705 01:12:10,034 --> 01:12:13,334 JACK: Miles, I saw you. You were grabbing David's ass. 1706 01:12:13,434 --> 01:12:15,974 I was actually thinking it was a weird throuple situation. 1707 01:12:16,074 --> 01:12:17,894 -EMMY: Oh, my... -MILES: How ridiculous. 1708 01:12:17,994 --> 01:12:19,574 -Ridiculous! -I am her hubby. 1709 01:12:19,674 --> 01:12:22,374 -Yes, he is. -Oh, give it away, guys. 1710 01:12:22,474 --> 01:12:25,114 Come on. Who the hell are you, really? 1711 01:12:27,954 --> 01:12:29,954 I'm sorry, Jack. 1712 01:12:30,674 --> 01:12:33,454 ELLISON: She's the magical Clementine Jones 1713 01:12:33,554 --> 01:12:36,334 and you bid a million dollars on her book. 1714 01:12:36,434 --> 01:12:39,535 JACK: Yeah, I did. But she's not. 1715 01:12:39,635 --> 01:12:41,295 Technically, 1716 01:12:41,395 --> 01:12:45,135 I did...I did grow up here on Fig...Tree Farm, 1717 01:12:45,235 --> 01:12:49,055 but...my mum created all of this, not me, 1718 01:12:49,155 --> 01:12:53,695 and...and the books are... well, from her j...journals. 1719 01:12:53,795 --> 01:12:57,815 Mm-hm. I knew your accent sounded kinda fishy. 1720 01:12:57,915 --> 01:13:00,015 Because, like, who the hell talks like they're on 1721 01:13:00,115 --> 01:13:01,895 'Downtown Abbey' when they live in the frickin' outback? 1722 01:13:01,995 --> 01:13:04,655 -It's 'Downton Abbey'. -And who's this? 1723 01:13:04,755 --> 01:13:06,755 Uh... 1724 01:13:07,555 --> 01:13:09,776 We borrowed Violet. She's not really my daughter. 1725 01:13:09,876 --> 01:13:11,296 Rented, actually. 1726 01:13:11,396 --> 01:13:13,176 Rented her. 1727 01:13:13,276 --> 01:13:14,496 I feel sick. 1728 01:13:14,596 --> 01:13:15,856 You feel sick? 1729 01:13:15,956 --> 01:13:17,576 Samesies. 1730 01:13:17,676 --> 01:13:19,416 I'm sorry, Jack. 1731 01:13:19,516 --> 01:13:22,436 (LAUGHS) Yeah, you're sorry. You're sorry. 1732 01:13:23,436 --> 01:13:25,336 -As long as you're sorry. Yeah. -EMMY: Not... 1733 01:13:25,436 --> 01:13:27,956 Sorry. Mum, she's sorry. That's good. Yeah. 1734 01:13:28,956 --> 01:13:30,956 (DOOR SHUTS) 1735 01:13:31,796 --> 01:13:33,656 EMMY: Jack. 1736 01:13:33,756 --> 01:13:36,016 (GENTLE MUSIC) 1737 01:13:36,116 --> 01:13:37,696 Hey. 1738 01:13:37,796 --> 01:13:40,136 The little girl from the book, right? 1739 01:13:40,236 --> 01:13:41,537 Yeah. 1740 01:13:41,637 --> 01:13:44,217 Have you any idea how many people I have working on you 1741 01:13:44,317 --> 01:13:47,737 and this book and your social engagements? 1742 01:13:47,837 --> 01:13:50,137 What do you think's gonna happen when they find out little Clem 1743 01:13:50,237 --> 01:13:52,777 they've fallen in love with in the book is just a complete... 1744 01:13:52,877 --> 01:13:55,017 -A fraud. -Heh. 1745 01:13:55,117 --> 01:13:57,117 Was any of this real? 1746 01:13:59,957 --> 01:14:01,857 I suppose that was no chance encounter 1747 01:14:01,957 --> 01:14:03,337 we had in Manhattan either. 1748 01:14:03,437 --> 01:14:04,857 All part of your little plan, hmm? 1749 01:14:04,957 --> 01:14:09,977 No, no. That was... (LAUGHS) ..fate, maybe. I don't know. 1750 01:14:10,077 --> 01:14:13,738 I could never have known that you were going to be the guy 1751 01:14:13,838 --> 01:14:15,338 who bought the book. 1752 01:14:15,438 --> 01:14:16,418 (DOOR OPENS) 1753 01:14:16,518 --> 01:14:19,098 I had no idea until you showed up here. 1754 01:14:19,198 --> 01:14:20,978 I don't know what to believe. 1755 01:14:21,078 --> 01:14:23,078 It's just like... 1756 01:14:23,558 --> 01:14:25,698 Jackson. 1757 01:14:25,798 --> 01:14:27,798 Time to go. 1758 01:14:29,078 --> 01:14:30,498 EMMY: Oh... 1759 01:14:30,598 --> 01:14:32,598 (JACK GROANS) 1760 01:14:35,878 --> 01:14:38,078 (CAR ENGINE STARTS) 1761 01:14:40,398 --> 01:14:42,918 (JACK GROANS) What is in here? 1762 01:14:44,278 --> 01:14:46,279 AVALON: Get in. 1763 01:14:47,479 --> 01:14:49,339 (ENGINE REVS) 1764 01:14:49,439 --> 01:14:52,579 EMMY: (TEARY) You be good to your mama, OK? 1765 01:14:52,679 --> 01:14:54,919 You only get one. 1766 01:14:56,639 --> 01:14:58,539 (KNOCKS) 1767 01:14:58,639 --> 01:15:00,059 (GASPS) 1768 01:15:00,159 --> 01:15:02,159 Hi. 1769 01:15:02,599 --> 01:15:04,219 The fancy people are leaving. 1770 01:15:04,319 --> 01:15:05,939 MILES: You're gonna let him drive outta here? 1771 01:15:06,039 --> 01:15:07,579 You can't just give up. 1772 01:15:07,679 --> 01:15:10,419 You always find a solution, Em. 1773 01:15:10,519 --> 01:15:13,299 He hates me and rightly so. 1774 01:15:13,399 --> 01:15:15,979 I messed it all up. I messed it all up. 1775 01:15:16,079 --> 01:15:18,340 No. Come here. Shh. 1776 01:15:18,440 --> 01:15:20,620 I know you don't want to hear this, 1777 01:15:20,720 --> 01:15:24,980 but I wouldn't be your best friend if I didn't say it. 1778 01:15:25,080 --> 01:15:26,820 Yeah. 1779 01:15:26,920 --> 01:15:28,980 What would Clementine do? 1780 01:15:29,080 --> 01:15:31,080 (KISSES) 1781 01:15:33,480 --> 01:15:35,660 She'd tell me to chase my dreams. 1782 01:15:35,760 --> 01:15:36,860 Yeah. 1783 01:15:36,960 --> 01:15:38,960 That's your answer. 1784 01:15:39,560 --> 01:15:41,500 I just miss her so much. 1785 01:15:41,600 --> 01:15:42,620 I know. 1786 01:15:42,720 --> 01:15:43,700 VIOLET: Ohh. 1787 01:15:43,800 --> 01:15:45,620 We all miss her, honey. Mmm. (KISSES) 1788 01:15:45,720 --> 01:15:47,720 Every minute, every day. 1789 01:15:48,760 --> 01:15:51,061 Ahh. OK. 1790 01:15:51,161 --> 01:15:53,741 Oh, I've got make-up all over my face. 1791 01:15:53,841 --> 01:15:55,701 Do I smell like cow? 1792 01:15:55,801 --> 01:15:57,141 -Yeah. -MILES: Yes. 1793 01:15:57,241 --> 01:15:59,261 Thanks, Marilyn. 1794 01:15:59,361 --> 01:16:00,741 DAVID: What are we waiting for? 1795 01:16:00,841 --> 01:16:02,021 VIOLET: Christmas? 1796 01:16:02,121 --> 01:16:03,221 DAVID: Come on. 1797 01:16:03,321 --> 01:16:04,941 -(EXCITING MUSIC) -DAVID: Come on! 1798 01:16:05,041 --> 01:16:07,861 -This is crazy! -MILES: Come on, let's go! 1799 01:16:07,961 --> 01:16:09,701 -(ENGINE STARTS) -Good luck! 1800 01:16:09,801 --> 01:16:11,841 (ENGINE REVS) 1801 01:16:13,241 --> 01:16:15,241 Whoo! 1802 01:16:18,161 --> 01:16:20,061 -EMMY: Come on! -MILES: OK! 1803 01:16:20,161 --> 01:16:21,501 -EMMY: Miles! -MILES: Yes! 1804 01:16:21,601 --> 01:16:22,742 DAVID: Come on! 1805 01:16:22,842 --> 01:16:24,982 We're coming for you, Jack! 1806 01:16:25,082 --> 01:16:26,822 AVALON: I don't know about you people, 1807 01:16:26,922 --> 01:16:29,622 but I am so ready for a piña colada 1808 01:16:29,722 --> 01:16:32,662 and a beach and a massage. 1809 01:16:32,762 --> 01:16:35,822 Oh, you should see the resort. It's so beautiful. 1810 01:16:35,922 --> 01:16:37,922 You're gonna love it. 1811 01:16:39,762 --> 01:16:41,382 Ahhhhh! 1812 01:16:41,482 --> 01:16:45,102 Oh, my gosh. This psycho does not stop! 1813 01:16:45,202 --> 01:16:47,462 -(EMMY SHOUTS) -Pull over! 1814 01:16:47,562 --> 01:16:49,222 (TYRES SCREECH) 1815 01:16:49,322 --> 01:16:50,702 DAVID: Avalon, where'd you get your licence? 1816 01:16:50,802 --> 01:16:53,222 -For Christ's sake! -EMMY: Jack! 1817 01:16:53,322 --> 01:16:56,103 -I'm sorry. -Have you lost your mind? 1818 01:16:56,203 --> 01:16:58,263 I don't know. Maybe. 1819 01:16:58,363 --> 01:17:00,363 Oh! 1820 01:17:00,923 --> 01:17:03,543 Ellison! Ms London! 1821 01:17:03,643 --> 01:17:06,983 Please don't be mad at Jack. He had nothing to do with this. 1822 01:17:07,083 --> 01:17:08,503 My son trusted you. 1823 01:17:08,603 --> 01:17:11,343 I don't appreciate being manipulated, 1824 01:17:11,443 --> 01:17:13,463 personally or professionally. 1825 01:17:13,563 --> 01:17:16,943 Then you're gonna not appreciate what I have to say next. 1826 01:17:17,043 --> 01:17:19,763 -The truth is... -JACK: Whoa! 1827 01:17:22,403 --> 01:17:23,823 Are they still coming? 1828 01:17:23,923 --> 01:17:26,303 You're gonna get yourself killed! 1829 01:17:26,403 --> 01:17:28,344 I'm in love with you! 1830 01:17:28,444 --> 01:17:30,604 What?! 1831 01:17:31,724 --> 01:17:32,944 Stop the car. 1832 01:17:33,044 --> 01:17:35,344 What is wrong with you people?! 1833 01:17:35,444 --> 01:17:36,504 -A horse! -JACK: Whoa! Whoa! 1834 01:17:36,604 --> 01:17:37,664 (SCREAMS) 1835 01:17:37,764 --> 01:17:39,764 Merry Christmas! 1836 01:17:48,684 --> 01:17:50,584 (JACK SCREAMS) 1837 01:17:50,684 --> 01:17:53,784 What the hell is wrong with you? Are you crazy? 1838 01:17:53,884 --> 01:17:56,824 You know what, I might be a fraud, but you're one too! 1839 01:17:56,924 --> 01:17:59,184 Not the best start. 1840 01:17:59,284 --> 01:18:00,825 You're not who you pretend to be. 1841 01:18:00,925 --> 01:18:03,745 You're not this suave, lady-chasing playboy 1842 01:18:03,845 --> 01:18:05,225 that you pretend to be. 1843 01:18:05,325 --> 01:18:07,785 You're more than that. You do care. 1844 01:18:07,885 --> 01:18:09,265 And meeting with you, 1845 01:18:09,365 --> 01:18:11,945 it was one of the best surprises of my...of my life. 1846 01:18:12,045 --> 01:18:16,385 And if I let you go, I will regret it every day. 1847 01:18:16,485 --> 01:18:19,985 Every...Christmas for the rest of my life. 1848 01:18:20,085 --> 01:18:22,085 -So just... -"Don't..." 1849 01:18:23,045 --> 01:18:25,045 -Just "Don't..." -(EMMY SIGHS) 1850 01:18:26,845 --> 01:18:28,845 (SIGHS) 1851 01:18:31,445 --> 01:18:33,526 "..go breaking my heart. 1852 01:18:36,166 --> 01:18:38,166 "Oh, honey, if I get restless..." 1853 01:18:40,846 --> 01:18:42,846 (WHISPERS) Everybody's watching us. 1854 01:18:44,246 --> 01:18:45,506 (MOUTHS) 1855 01:18:45,606 --> 01:18:48,006 Your speech was actually pretty good. 1856 01:18:50,246 --> 01:18:52,486 Don't leave me hanging here. 1857 01:18:53,886 --> 01:18:55,386 "I couldn't if I tried." 1858 01:18:55,486 --> 01:18:56,826 (RUNNING FOOTSTEPS) 1859 01:18:56,926 --> 01:19:00,266 Are you kidding me right now? You want this...over this? 1860 01:19:00,366 --> 01:19:02,366 -Uh! -G'day. 1861 01:19:03,646 --> 01:19:06,507 OK. I see what's happening. 1862 01:19:06,607 --> 01:19:08,027 -Avalon, listen. -And I get it. Shhh! 1863 01:19:08,127 --> 01:19:09,507 Uh! Uh! Uh! Shhh. 1864 01:19:09,607 --> 01:19:11,867 -Hey, we... -We had some great times. 1865 01:19:11,967 --> 01:19:13,187 -Didn't we? -Uh... 1866 01:19:13,287 --> 01:19:16,467 Shhh! But I now pronounce you dumped and single. 1867 01:19:16,567 --> 01:19:18,187 You may kiss my ass. 1868 01:19:18,287 --> 01:19:19,987 ALL: Oooh! 1869 01:19:20,087 --> 01:19:21,307 (AVALON SHOUTS ANGRILY) 1870 01:19:21,407 --> 01:19:24,267 We were not a couple. I can't stress that enough. 1871 01:19:24,367 --> 01:19:26,107 -Uh-huh. (LAUGHS) -(CAR DOOR SHUTS) 1872 01:19:26,207 --> 01:19:27,587 Close the door! 1873 01:19:27,687 --> 01:19:29,347 -(KICKS DOOR) -My luggage. 1874 01:19:29,447 --> 01:19:31,147 -I'm so sorry. -(ENGINE STARTS) 1875 01:19:31,247 --> 01:19:32,947 -(ENGINE REVS) -MAN: Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! 1876 01:19:33,047 --> 01:19:35,287 -(WOMAN SCREAMS) -MAN: Whoa! 1877 01:19:38,288 --> 01:19:39,908 She's like Dua Lipa. 1878 01:19:40,008 --> 01:19:42,108 But she needs a burger. 1879 01:19:42,208 --> 01:19:45,668 ELLISON: I finally finished your 'Clementine' book last night. 1880 01:19:45,768 --> 01:19:47,228 Wait. What do you mean? 1881 01:19:47,328 --> 01:19:48,748 You came all the way to Australia 1882 01:19:48,848 --> 01:19:50,588 and you just finished the book last night? 1883 01:19:50,688 --> 01:19:52,228 Did it ever occur to you, Jackson, 1884 01:19:52,328 --> 01:19:55,308 that maybe I didn't come all the way down here just for the book? 1885 01:19:55,408 --> 01:19:59,908 Maybe I also wanted to spend some time with my son. 1886 01:20:00,008 --> 01:20:03,668 The book is good. You were right. 1887 01:20:03,768 --> 01:20:07,108 And if this woman can finally get your head out of your ass, 1888 01:20:07,208 --> 01:20:09,069 I can only imagine the hold she'll have 1889 01:20:09,169 --> 01:20:10,869 on the rest of the world. 1890 01:20:10,969 --> 01:20:14,229 Wait. So does that mean you still want to buy the book? 1891 01:20:14,329 --> 01:20:16,429 Yes. 1892 01:20:16,529 --> 01:20:18,189 As for you two... 1893 01:20:18,289 --> 01:20:20,349 Uh-oh. 1894 01:20:20,449 --> 01:20:22,569 You were a couple this whole time? 1895 01:20:24,569 --> 01:20:25,949 Why, yes, ma'am. 1896 01:20:26,049 --> 01:20:30,689 And you don't really talk like Crocodile Dundee? 1897 01:20:31,689 --> 01:20:33,389 No. (LAUGHS) 1898 01:20:33,489 --> 01:20:36,509 Unless you want me to, you drongo! 1899 01:20:36,609 --> 01:20:39,309 -(LAUGHS) -Drongo. 1900 01:20:39,409 --> 01:20:42,730 We'll work you into the book promotion. You're hilarious. 1901 01:20:44,650 --> 01:20:49,550 Was that actually her finding something hilarious? 1902 01:20:49,650 --> 01:20:51,350 (LAUGHS) I think so. 1903 01:20:51,450 --> 01:20:53,150 I want to be her friend. 1904 01:20:53,250 --> 01:20:55,710 -I want her cravat. -Let's go. 1905 01:20:55,810 --> 01:20:57,810 So, now what? 1906 01:20:58,570 --> 01:21:02,190 CLEMENTINE: One, two, three, four. 1907 01:21:02,290 --> 01:21:06,010 (ACOUSTIC VERSION OF 'DON'T GO BREAKING MY HEART' PLAYS) 1908 01:21:15,371 --> 01:21:17,431 (BOTH SING) ♪ Oooh-hoo 1909 01:21:17,531 --> 01:21:19,631 KIDS CHOIR: ♪ Nobody knows it 1910 01:21:19,731 --> 01:21:21,751 BACK-UP SINGERS: ♪ Nobody knows, nobody knows 1911 01:21:21,851 --> 01:21:23,591 KIDS CHOIR: ♪ So don't go breaking my heart 1912 01:21:23,691 --> 01:21:25,271 BACK-UP SINGERS: ♪ Don't go breaking my heart 1913 01:21:25,371 --> 01:21:27,071 KIDS CHOIR: ♪ I won't go breaking your heart 1914 01:21:27,171 --> 01:21:28,551 BACK-UP SINGERS: ♪ Yeah, yeah 1915 01:21:28,651 --> 01:21:31,871 KIDS CHOIR: ♪ Don't go breaking my heart... ♪ 1916 01:21:31,971 --> 01:21:34,371 (LUSH ORCHESTRA JOINS IN) 1917 01:22:04,012 --> 01:22:06,912 (MUSIC CLIMAXES) 1918 01:22:07,012 --> 01:22:10,752 -(SCREAMS) -Argh! (LAUGHS) 1919 01:22:10,852 --> 01:22:13,172 (UPBEAT MUSIC) 1920 01:22:45,413 --> 01:22:47,353 ♪ You're hiding from dreams 1921 01:22:47,453 --> 01:22:49,913 ♪ You are chasing shadows 1922 01:22:50,013 --> 01:22:52,034 ♪ They cast away from you 1923 01:22:52,134 --> 01:22:53,994 ♪ Cast away 1924 01:22:54,094 --> 01:22:56,434 ♪ You are fighting a fever 1925 01:22:56,534 --> 01:22:58,794 ♪ Caught by staying late 1926 01:22:58,894 --> 01:23:00,954 ♪ You don't want to leave 1927 01:23:01,054 --> 01:23:02,514 ♪ You don't have to 1928 01:23:02,614 --> 01:23:05,274 ♪ You don't want to go away, no 1929 01:23:05,374 --> 01:23:08,114 ♪ Only you can stay 1930 01:23:08,214 --> 01:23:10,394 ♪ You can stay... 1931 01:23:10,494 --> 01:23:11,754 ♪ You can stay 1932 01:23:11,854 --> 01:23:13,794 ♪ A garden is waiting 1933 01:23:13,894 --> 01:23:16,514 ♪ If you do just what they say 1934 01:23:16,614 --> 01:23:18,654 ♪ Do just what they say 1935 01:23:20,614 --> 01:23:24,195 ♪ Ooooh 1936 01:23:24,295 --> 01:23:26,975 ♪ Ooh 1937 01:23:29,375 --> 01:23:31,675 ♪ Look at things you see 1938 01:23:31,775 --> 01:23:34,135 ♪ Look how far you've come 1939 01:23:37,175 --> 01:23:38,155 ♪ And I say 1940 01:23:38,255 --> 01:23:40,435 ♪ Look at where you've been 1941 01:23:40,535 --> 01:23:43,255 ♪ Look at where you're from 1942 01:23:46,895 --> 01:23:49,075 ♪ Look at things you've seen 1943 01:23:49,175 --> 01:23:51,735 ♪ Look how far you've come 1944 01:23:53,175 --> 01:23:55,976 ♪ And look how much you've grown. ♪ 1945 01:23:59,136 --> 01:24:02,156 (QUIRKY INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC)