WEBVTT FILE 1 00:00:02.000 --> 00:00:07.000 Downloaded from YTS.MX 2 00:00:08.000 --> 00:00:13.000 Official YIFY movies site: YTS.MX 3 00:00:08.420 --> 00:00:10.860 (JOYOUS ORCHESTRAL MUSIC) 4 00:00:30.180 --> 00:00:31.720 (PHONE RINGS) 5 00:00:31.820 --> 00:00:33.361 (SIREN WAILS, HORN HONKS) 6 00:00:33.461 --> 00:00:35.321 (PHONE CONTINUES RINGING) 7 00:00:35.421 --> 00:00:38.761 WOMAN: Emmy, it's your agent Leslie. 8 00:00:38.861 --> 00:00:41.801 Just checking how things are going with those new book ideas. 9 00:00:41.901 --> 00:00:44.801 I know, you're going through...things right now, 10 00:00:44.901 --> 00:00:47.041 but maybe getting back to writing will help. 11 00:00:47.141 --> 00:00:49.521 Anyway, stop ignoring. 12 00:00:49.621 --> 00:00:50.521 Oh! 13 00:00:50.621 --> 00:00:52.121 Say hi to your cousin for me. 14 00:00:52.221 --> 00:00:53.121 (DRIVER GROANS) 15 00:00:53.221 --> 00:00:54.361 (DOOR SHUTS) 16 00:00:54.461 --> 00:00:56.361 (AMERICAN ACCENT) Uh, JFK International, please. 17 00:00:56.461 --> 00:00:58.761 -So, where are you headed? -Oh, uh...Australia. 18 00:00:58.861 --> 00:01:00.601 Watch out for them drop bears. 19 00:01:00.701 --> 00:01:02.081 (IMITATES AUSSIE ACCENT) Australia! 20 00:01:02.181 --> 00:01:03.961 Where the hell are ya? 21 00:01:04.061 --> 00:01:06.802 I saw a crocodile this big! 22 00:01:06.902 --> 00:01:08.642 I'm sorry, sir... 23 00:01:08.742 --> 00:01:10.842 Do you mind if we just don't... 24 00:01:10.942 --> 00:01:12.942 (ORCHESTRAL MUSIC CONTINUES) 25 00:01:20.022 --> 00:01:23.402 (CACOPHONY OF ANIMAL SOUNDS) 26 00:01:23.502 --> 00:01:25.502 (SILENCE) 27 00:01:26.622 --> 00:01:28.822 (COCKATOO CAWS) 28 00:01:33.182 --> 00:01:35.262 The prodigy returns. 29 00:01:36.542 --> 00:01:38.523 Hey... 30 00:01:38.623 --> 00:01:40.623 (GENTLE MUSIC) 31 00:01:48.303 --> 00:01:50.583 (BIRDSONG) 32 00:01:55.783 --> 00:01:59.323 (WOMAN LAUGHS) Emmy! Put the camera down! 33 00:01:59.423 --> 00:02:02.743 Oh, what do you think? Isn't it wonderful? 34 00:02:08.143 --> 00:02:10.144 (LAUGHS) 35 00:02:16.304 --> 00:02:20.684 This is not a traditional memorial service. 36 00:02:20.784 --> 00:02:24.804 This is a celebration of life. 37 00:02:24.904 --> 00:02:27.444 My mother and namesake, 38 00:02:27.544 --> 00:02:28.764 Clementine Jones, 39 00:02:28.864 --> 00:02:31.324 was a force of nature. 40 00:02:31.424 --> 00:02:33.924 Six months after my dad died, 41 00:02:34.024 --> 00:02:35.444 she moved us here. 42 00:02:35.544 --> 00:02:37.844 She'd...she'd only ever grown herbs in a window box 43 00:02:37.944 --> 00:02:39.524 and...and then she bought this farm 44 00:02:39.624 --> 00:02:42.085 and it was rundown and ramshackle 45 00:02:42.185 --> 00:02:44.045 and, uh, and she moved us here 46 00:02:44.145 --> 00:02:46.625 to start over and, boy, did we. 47 00:02:48.025 --> 00:02:49.045 (SIGHS) 48 00:02:49.145 --> 00:02:51.145 Mom, we will... 49 00:02:51.945 --> 00:02:54.105 ..all miss you. 50 00:02:55.105 --> 00:02:57.045 To Mom! 51 00:02:57.145 --> 00:02:59.045 -To Aunt Clem. -To Clementine. 52 00:02:59.145 --> 00:03:01.825 (SHEEP BLEATS, ROOSTER CROWS) 53 00:03:02.865 --> 00:03:04.245 EMMY: I've missed you guys, you know. 54 00:03:04.345 --> 00:03:05.605 DAVID: Hmm. 55 00:03:05.705 --> 00:03:08.045 I will tell you that if I see a snake, 56 00:03:08.145 --> 00:03:10.565 I'm gonna have to get the hell out of here, though. 57 00:03:10.665 --> 00:03:12.665 OK. 58 00:03:13.425 --> 00:03:14.806 -Snake! -No! 59 00:03:14.906 --> 00:03:16.286 -(CHUCKLES) -Watch out! 60 00:03:16.386 --> 00:03:18.326 (EMMY SCREAMS) Stop it! 61 00:03:18.426 --> 00:03:20.526 -(MEN LAUGH) -I've had a long day. 62 00:03:20.626 --> 00:03:21.886 That's horrible. 63 00:03:21.986 --> 00:03:23.726 -Give me the champagne. -Oh. 64 00:03:23.826 --> 00:03:26.006 -EMMY: I've got heels on. -I got you, I got you. 65 00:03:26.106 --> 00:03:27.526 (MEN LAUGH) 66 00:03:27.626 --> 00:03:30.006 EMMY: Ooh, it's getting dark. Are you drinking my champagne? 67 00:03:30.106 --> 00:03:31.486 -(MILES GRUNTS) -Yeah, you know... 68 00:03:31.586 --> 00:03:35.506 -MILES: Hey, don't backwash. -DAVID: I don't mind it. 69 00:04:03.547 --> 00:04:05.587 (EMMY SIGHS) 70 00:04:06.627 --> 00:04:08.627 (EXHALES DEEPLY) 71 00:04:09.467 --> 00:04:10.847 (WHISPERS) Spider. 72 00:04:10.947 --> 00:04:13.007 (SHOUTS) Spider! 73 00:04:13.107 --> 00:04:15.827 Ohhh! Oh! Oh! Ohh. 74 00:04:16.827 --> 00:04:19.648 (BIRDS CALL OUT) 75 00:04:19.748 --> 00:04:22.668 (QUIRKY MUSIC) 76 00:04:23.668 --> 00:04:27.428 (CLUCKS) 77 00:04:29.668 --> 00:04:31.668 No. 78 00:04:32.428 --> 00:04:34.408 N-n-n-no. No. 79 00:04:34.508 --> 00:04:35.968 (CROWS) 80 00:04:36.068 --> 00:04:38.208 Why is the rooster in my bedroom?! 81 00:04:38.308 --> 00:04:39.488 (SCREAMS) 82 00:04:39.588 --> 00:04:41.488 Your mum started keeping him inside at night 83 00:04:41.588 --> 00:04:42.688 so he wouldn't crow. 84 00:04:42.788 --> 00:04:43.808 (DOOR OPENS) 85 00:04:43.908 --> 00:04:45.528 Works like a charm! 86 00:04:45.628 --> 00:04:46.968 -Ugh! -(CLUCKS) 87 00:04:47.068 --> 00:04:49.808 -(CHUCKLES) -I know, right? 88 00:04:49.908 --> 00:04:51.129 (SIPS FROM CUP) 89 00:04:51.229 --> 00:04:53.229 (COW LOWS) 90 00:04:54.869 --> 00:04:56.869 (DOOR OPENS) 91 00:04:58.429 --> 00:05:00.649 -Hey. -Hey. 92 00:05:00.749 --> 00:05:03.049 Oh, you found Clementine's journals. 93 00:05:03.149 --> 00:05:04.329 (LAUGHS) Yeah. 94 00:05:04.429 --> 00:05:06.889 Some of the ideas in here are just... 95 00:05:06.989 --> 00:05:11.169 Ahh, Clem was a wellness pioneer before that was even a thing. 96 00:05:11.269 --> 00:05:13.089 Herbal remedies. 97 00:05:13.189 --> 00:05:14.689 Animal therapies. 98 00:05:14.789 --> 00:05:18.449 And, uh, naked moonlight dips in a lake filled with yabbies. 99 00:05:18.549 --> 00:05:19.569 (LAUGHS) 100 00:05:19.669 --> 00:05:23.610 I had no idea how wild she was, you know? 101 00:05:23.710 --> 00:05:26.510 She actually swore that could cure anything. 102 00:05:27.750 --> 00:05:30.350 (DAVID SIGHS) 103 00:05:32.150 --> 00:05:35.290 -I know you hate the farm. -Oh, no, no. 104 00:05:35.390 --> 00:05:36.850 -I don't hate the farm. -(LAUGHS) 105 00:05:36.950 --> 00:05:38.890 Oh, you have always hated... 106 00:05:38.990 --> 00:05:40.330 -I... No, no. -..hated... 107 00:05:40.430 --> 00:05:41.770 I hate parts of the farm. 108 00:05:41.870 --> 00:05:43.530 You know, I'm just... I'm... 109 00:05:43.630 --> 00:05:46.970 I'm not a farmy person, which is why I moved to New York. 110 00:05:47.070 --> 00:05:48.370 You know, it's not my... 111 00:05:48.470 --> 00:05:49.570 Hmm. 112 00:05:49.670 --> 00:05:51.330 Have you ever noticed everything around here 113 00:05:51.430 --> 00:05:52.970 is trying to actually kill me? 114 00:05:53.070 --> 00:05:55.331 Um...that's in your head. 115 00:05:55.431 --> 00:05:58.051 No, that...that is a fact. 116 00:05:58.151 --> 00:05:59.371 Hmm. 117 00:05:59.471 --> 00:06:04.991 I just hope somehow we can hold on to the place. 118 00:06:07.151 --> 00:06:09.151 How bad is it? 119 00:06:09.631 --> 00:06:13.051 Your mum took out so many loans and she hadn't paid them off. 120 00:06:13.151 --> 00:06:17.491 She was a genius when it came to a lot of things at Fig Tree, 121 00:06:17.591 --> 00:06:20.211 but when it came to finances, she's... 122 00:06:20.311 --> 00:06:22.311 Stubborn. 123 00:06:23.191 --> 00:06:25.191 Like a mule. 124 00:06:29.232 --> 00:06:30.932 (CHIMES PLAY ON P.A.) 125 00:06:31.032 --> 00:06:33.972 P.A.: Attention, passengers, flight QL12 to New York 126 00:06:34.072 --> 00:06:36.252 is now boarding at Gate 3. 127 00:06:36.352 --> 00:06:37.892 LESLIE: Ah, you're killing me. 128 00:06:37.992 --> 00:06:40.332 Em, I need those pages. You promised. 129 00:06:40.432 --> 00:06:42.492 EMMY: Listen, I promise you you will have a book 130 00:06:42.592 --> 00:06:44.332 as soon as I land, OK? 131 00:06:44.432 --> 00:06:46.332 Stop getting so wrapped up in your head. 132 00:06:46.432 --> 00:06:48.332 It doesn't matter what your book is about. 133 00:06:48.432 --> 00:06:50.332 You need to get your name out there again 134 00:06:50.432 --> 00:06:52.332 because I can't do my job if you don't do yours! 135 00:06:52.432 --> 00:06:54.372 (GROANS) Listen to me, Leslie. I will get you... 136 00:06:54.472 --> 00:06:58.172 (GROANS) ..the pages within 48 hours, OK? 137 00:06:58.272 --> 00:07:01.733 48 hours. Just give me 48 hours and you will have a book. 138 00:07:01.833 --> 00:07:03.893 OK? I promise. Excuse me. 139 00:07:03.993 --> 00:07:06.013 You'd better not be drinking again on this flight. 140 00:07:06.113 --> 00:07:07.613 No. No drinking. 141 00:07:07.713 --> 00:07:08.773 I'm drinking! 142 00:07:08.873 --> 00:07:10.133 Book. Write it. 'Bye. 143 00:07:10.233 --> 00:07:11.573 I'll call you later. 144 00:07:11.673 --> 00:07:12.573 'Bye. 145 00:07:12.673 --> 00:07:14.673 'Bye. 146 00:07:15.153 --> 00:07:17.153 (TYPES ON KEYBOARD) 147 00:07:24.953 --> 00:07:26.953 (INHALES) 148 00:07:30.753 --> 00:07:32.934 (GENTLE MUSIC) 149 00:07:33.034 --> 00:07:34.374 CLEMENTINE: Emmy? 150 00:07:34.474 --> 00:07:35.534 Come on. 151 00:07:35.634 --> 00:07:37.574 (LAUGHS) See ya, Brissie! 152 00:07:37.674 --> 00:07:40.314 -Wouldn't wanna be ya! -(LAUGHS) 153 00:07:41.314 --> 00:07:44.494 We'll grow our vegetables in the soil right here 154 00:07:44.594 --> 00:07:47.254 and we'll get our eggs from the chickens in there. 155 00:07:47.354 --> 00:07:49.174 And our milk from the cows. 156 00:07:49.274 --> 00:07:51.274 YOUNG EMMY: But there's nothing out here. 157 00:07:53.554 --> 00:07:55.554 You wanna know what I see? 158 00:07:57.554 --> 00:07:59.554 Possibilities. 159 00:08:01.394 --> 00:08:03.654 Possibilities. 160 00:08:03.754 --> 00:08:05.015 (SIREN WAILS) 161 00:08:05.115 --> 00:08:07.535 ♪ You all know you ain't doing nothing with this 162 00:08:07.635 --> 00:08:09.295 ♪ Let's get it! Come on 163 00:08:09.395 --> 00:08:11.655 ♪ Go 164 00:08:11.755 --> 00:08:14.015 ♪ I'm making plays Never leave the game 165 00:08:14.115 --> 00:08:16.735 ♪ Only do it for the love I don't need the fame 166 00:08:16.835 --> 00:08:18.535 ♪ I'm making plays Always keep the faith 167 00:08:18.635 --> 00:08:20.935 ♪ Yeah, we out for the dub I'mma lead the way... ♪ 168 00:08:21.035 --> 00:08:23.095 WOMAN: Welcome to London & London. 169 00:08:23.195 --> 00:08:25.175 ♪ Making plays, making plays I'm the man, uh 170 00:08:25.275 --> 00:08:27.375 ♪ I'm making plays Never leave the game 171 00:08:27.475 --> 00:08:30.135 ♪ Only do it for the love I don't need the fame 172 00:08:30.235 --> 00:08:32.535 ♪ I'm making plays Always keep the faith 173 00:08:32.635 --> 00:08:35.215 ♪ Yeah, we out for the dub I'mma lead the way 174 00:08:35.315 --> 00:08:37.016 -♪ I'm making plays... ♪ -WOMAN: Oh, excuse me. 175 00:08:37.116 --> 00:08:38.616 Just one second. 176 00:08:38.716 --> 00:08:41.096 On the phone to Grisham. Give me five minutes. 177 00:08:41.196 --> 00:08:43.896 Yeah, 'cause you know what he's like. (BABBLES) 178 00:08:43.996 --> 00:08:45.536 ♪ While you fade away 179 00:08:45.636 --> 00:08:47.496 ♪ I'm making plays Never leave the game 180 00:08:47.596 --> 00:08:49.896 ♪ Only do it for the love I don't need the fame 181 00:08:49.996 --> 00:08:52.576 ♪ I'm making plays Always keep the faith 182 00:08:52.676 --> 00:08:55.416 ♪ Yeah, we out for the dub I'mma lead the way... ♪ 183 00:08:55.516 --> 00:08:56.696 (DOOR SLAMS) 184 00:08:56.796 --> 00:08:58.576 Oh. Hmm. Hey. 185 00:08:58.676 --> 00:09:00.416 Hope I'm not interrupting anything. 186 00:09:00.516 --> 00:09:01.856 Not at all. Come in. 187 00:09:01.956 --> 00:09:03.216 You look like roadkill. 188 00:09:03.316 --> 00:09:05.176 I feel great! 189 00:09:05.276 --> 00:09:06.336 Jackson! 190 00:09:06.436 --> 00:09:07.776 Mother... 191 00:09:07.876 --> 00:09:11.337 Our sales are sliding past the point I consider acceptable. 192 00:09:11.437 --> 00:09:14.097 Hmm. Which reflects badly... 193 00:09:14.197 --> 00:09:15.897 BOTH: Badly on our stockholders. 194 00:09:15.997 --> 00:09:16.937 Yeah. 195 00:09:17.037 --> 00:09:18.817 London & London needs new material. 196 00:09:18.917 --> 00:09:22.337 Hmm. Yeah. We do, don't we? (SMACKS LIPS) 197 00:09:22.437 --> 00:09:25.177 (CLICKS TONGUE) I got it. 198 00:09:25.277 --> 00:09:27.177 Why don't we get all these people out there 199 00:09:27.277 --> 00:09:28.897 that we pay all the money to 200 00:09:28.997 --> 00:09:32.977 to do their job and find us a great novel? 201 00:09:33.077 --> 00:09:36.337 Because I pay you a lot more, for some reason. 202 00:09:36.437 --> 00:09:37.937 -And since I appreciate it... -You do. 203 00:09:38.037 --> 00:09:40.137 ..if you occasionally did something 204 00:09:40.237 --> 00:09:42.298 that warranted me giving you this office... 205 00:09:42.398 --> 00:09:44.298 You mean the closet with a view? 206 00:09:44.398 --> 00:09:46.878 ..I'd like you to go find the new material. 207 00:09:51.038 --> 00:09:53.178 Oh, you're serious. (LAUGHS) 208 00:09:53.278 --> 00:09:54.818 Uh, yeah. 209 00:09:54.918 --> 00:09:56.258 Sure. 210 00:09:56.358 --> 00:09:58.818 Uh...I do have, 211 00:09:58.918 --> 00:10:01.578 uh, a 2pm at Momofuku. 212 00:10:01.678 --> 00:10:03.098 Very important lunch. 213 00:10:03.198 --> 00:10:04.618 But as soon as that's done, 214 00:10:04.718 --> 00:10:06.718 Janet and I will get straight on that. 215 00:10:07.678 --> 00:10:09.678 Was there anything else? 216 00:10:10.678 --> 00:10:11.858 -(BEEP!) -Janet. 217 00:10:11.958 --> 00:10:14.139 Cancel Jackson's 2 o'clock. 218 00:10:14.239 --> 00:10:16.019 He has reading to do. 219 00:10:16.119 --> 00:10:17.939 -JANET: Yes, Ms London. -(CHUCKLES) 220 00:10:18.039 --> 00:10:23.059 Yeah. Disregard, Janet. That was a joke. (LAUGHS) 221 00:10:23.159 --> 00:10:25.299 -(BEEP!) -Janet... (CHUCKLES) 222 00:10:25.399 --> 00:10:28.459 -..it's no joke. -Yes, Ms London. 223 00:10:28.559 --> 00:10:30.059 That was just mean, Ellison. 224 00:10:30.159 --> 00:10:32.159 It's time to grow up. 225 00:10:32.719 --> 00:10:33.819 (PHONES RING OUTSIDE) 226 00:10:33.919 --> 00:10:35.919 -(DOOR CLOSES) -Hmm. 227 00:10:36.959 --> 00:10:38.959 -(BEEP!) -Don't cancel... 228 00:10:41.239 --> 00:10:43.239 Nothing. All good. 229 00:10:44.759 --> 00:10:46.880 -(SOFT ORCHESTRAL MUSIC) -(SIREN WAILS) 230 00:10:53.320 --> 00:10:56.120 I gotta... I gotta get out of here. That's what I gotta do. 231 00:10:57.120 --> 00:10:59.540 You want to get a pizza or something? 232 00:10:59.640 --> 00:11:01.140 Open up your phone and just... 233 00:11:01.240 --> 00:11:03.240 -..swipe right. -(APP CHIMES) 234 00:11:04.200 --> 00:11:06.300 Hello, Daniel. 235 00:11:06.400 --> 00:11:08.400 (FUNKY MUSIC PLAYS) 236 00:11:18.281 --> 00:11:20.781 EMMY: What's good in here? Hoo! 237 00:11:20.881 --> 00:11:22.701 You sound like a lady on a mission. 238 00:11:22.801 --> 00:11:25.261 I do? Well, you don't seem like Daniel. 239 00:11:25.361 --> 00:11:26.941 -I'm not Daniel. -No. 240 00:11:27.041 --> 00:11:31.381 -Blind date? -No! Not a blind date. (LAUGHS) 241 00:11:31.481 --> 00:11:33.701 I-I-I swiped right. Do you mind... 242 00:11:33.801 --> 00:11:36.421 -Oh. (MUTTERS) -Just a little Dutch courage. 243 00:11:36.521 --> 00:11:37.621 -(LAUGHS) -Mm-hm. 244 00:11:37.721 --> 00:11:39.721 Uh-huh. 245 00:11:40.241 --> 00:11:42.241 You are on a mission. 246 00:11:43.041 --> 00:11:44.701 -Agh! Oh! -OK. 247 00:11:44.801 --> 00:11:47.061 What...is that? 248 00:11:47.161 --> 00:11:49.461 -Boulevardier, mademoiselle. -Mmm. 249 00:11:49.561 --> 00:11:52.862 Wow. Did you get that out of an 'Esquire' article or something? 250 00:11:52.962 --> 00:11:54.342 -Yeah. -What? 251 00:11:54.442 --> 00:11:55.702 -I actually did. -Oh, wow. 252 00:11:55.802 --> 00:11:56.942 -That seems so... Yeah. -Yeah. 253 00:11:57.042 --> 00:11:58.942 -..worth the hangover. -Yeah. 254 00:11:59.042 --> 00:12:01.862 Doesn't even matter because my mother, 255 00:12:01.962 --> 00:12:04.222 she had this, um, hangover remedy - 256 00:12:04.322 --> 00:12:06.942 apple cider vinegar and milk. 257 00:12:07.042 --> 00:12:10.102 And you know what? Cures a hangover like... (SNAPS) 258 00:12:10.202 --> 00:12:13.582 -One, two, three. Go! Shoot! -(FUNKY MUSIC) 259 00:12:13.682 --> 00:12:15.542 -One, two, three, shoot. -Uh-huh. 260 00:12:15.642 --> 00:12:17.902 Mmm! Mmm. Mmm. 261 00:12:18.002 --> 00:12:19.582 ♪ You got me like, hey, uh-uh... ♪ 262 00:12:19.682 --> 00:12:20.582 Ugh! 263 00:12:20.682 --> 00:12:22.383 -Next one, go! -Again? 264 00:12:22.483 --> 00:12:23.503 Oh, my God. 265 00:12:23.603 --> 00:12:25.183 ♪ Uh-uh, come on... ♪ 266 00:12:25.283 --> 00:12:26.663 -I feel good... -..this drunk. 267 00:12:26.763 --> 00:12:28.583 -Oooh! -♪ You got me like, hey... ♪ 268 00:12:28.683 --> 00:12:30.863 (JACK MUTTERS) 269 00:12:30.963 --> 00:12:32.503 -EMMY: Oh, my God! -I don't dance. 270 00:12:32.603 --> 00:12:34.543 -I love this song. -I really don't dance. 271 00:12:34.643 --> 00:12:36.943 -No, no, no, no. -Whoo! 272 00:12:37.043 --> 00:12:38.583 ('BLUE (DA DA BEE)' BY EIFFEL 65 PLAYS) 273 00:12:38.683 --> 00:12:40.383 Back it up. Back it up. Back it up. 274 00:12:40.483 --> 00:12:41.983 -Oh, wow. Yeah. -Yeah! 275 00:12:42.083 --> 00:12:43.503 (ALL LAUGH) 276 00:12:43.603 --> 00:12:45.143 JACK: How could he not love you? 277 00:12:45.243 --> 00:12:48.023 ♪ I'm blue Da ba dee da ba di 278 00:12:48.123 --> 00:12:50.183 ♪ Da ba dee da ba di... ♪ 279 00:12:50.283 --> 00:12:52.983 WOMAN: Where are her shoes? 280 00:12:53.083 --> 00:12:56.864 -OK, yep. Uh-huh. Yep. -Yay. Yep! Spin. Whoo! 281 00:12:56.964 --> 00:12:58.584 -Alright, here we go. -Can't believe... 282 00:12:58.684 --> 00:13:00.064 Ching-ching! 283 00:13:00.164 --> 00:13:03.324 -Oh. -Mmm! Mm. 284 00:13:04.484 --> 00:13:06.984 -What? -(GROANS) 285 00:13:07.084 --> 00:13:09.104 (LAUGHS) 286 00:13:09.204 --> 00:13:10.824 What is that? 287 00:13:10.924 --> 00:13:12.544 -(LAUGHS) -(EXHALES) It's ridiculous. 288 00:13:12.644 --> 00:13:14.544 I can't believe you got me so drunk. 289 00:13:14.644 --> 00:13:18.084 -Do you hold your pinkie out? -I do, I do. (LAUGHS) 290 00:13:19.844 --> 00:13:22.424 That's Daniel, my swipe right. 291 00:13:22.524 --> 00:13:25.864 Oh, God! Oh, God. He's really short. 292 00:13:25.964 --> 00:13:28.305 And also he's an hour late. Two hours later. 293 00:13:28.405 --> 00:13:30.105 -Maybe three hours late! -You swiped right on that? 294 00:13:30.205 --> 00:13:32.305 EMMY: He's looking over here! Hide me! Hide me! 295 00:13:32.405 --> 00:13:33.745 -JACK: Hide! -Hide. 296 00:13:33.845 --> 00:13:35.885 -EMMY: Ooh! Oh! -Mmm. 297 00:13:37.125 --> 00:13:38.705 EMMY: Mmm. 298 00:13:38.805 --> 00:13:42.605 ('WAITING HERE FOR YOU' BY BENEDICT LAMDIN & RIAAN VOSLOO) 299 00:13:45.325 --> 00:13:48.125 -OK. -Hello. (LAUGHS) 300 00:13:49.965 --> 00:13:51.665 -EMMY: Oh, my God. -(JACK LAUGHS) 301 00:13:51.765 --> 00:13:53.145 -EMMY: That view! -Terrible, huh? 302 00:13:53.245 --> 00:13:56.625 -Oh...wow. -Terrible view. 303 00:13:56.725 --> 00:13:58.725 Yeah, that... Mmm. 304 00:13:59.766 --> 00:14:02.466 (ELECTRONIC MUSIC PLAYS) 305 00:14:02.566 --> 00:14:05.026 (EMMY MOANS) 306 00:14:05.126 --> 00:14:06.546 -Whoa! -(JACK LAUGHS) 307 00:14:06.646 --> 00:14:08.226 Did you just turn on music 308 00:14:08.326 --> 00:14:09.986 and change the lighting with your watch? 309 00:14:10.086 --> 00:14:12.146 Yeah. 310 00:14:12.246 --> 00:14:14.246 -(LAUGHS) -(LAUGHS) What? 311 00:14:14.966 --> 00:14:17.866 -No, you didn't. You did? -Too much? 312 00:14:17.966 --> 00:14:20.466 (EMMY LAUGHS) No, it's just that... 313 00:14:20.566 --> 00:14:23.626 Does that usually work with all the, um, ladies 314 00:14:23.726 --> 00:14:26.826 you bring back to this perfectly curated apartment? 315 00:14:26.926 --> 00:14:28.866 -I haven't had many complaints. -Wow. 316 00:14:28.966 --> 00:14:32.267 Well, probably not with that sexy Sean Connery accent. 317 00:14:32.367 --> 00:14:34.347 (IMITATES SEAN CONNERY) Oh, nobody had a sexy accent 318 00:14:34.447 --> 00:14:35.667 like Sean Connery. 319 00:14:35.767 --> 00:14:37.107 -That's good. -Miss Moneypenny. 320 00:14:37.207 --> 00:14:39.107 -(LAUGHS) -Anyway, he's from Edinburgh. 321 00:14:39.207 --> 00:14:40.667 I'm from Carnoustie. 322 00:14:40.767 --> 00:14:42.587 -From where? -Carnoustie. 323 00:14:42.687 --> 00:14:45.187 -Say it again. -Carnoustie. 324 00:14:45.287 --> 00:14:47.107 -Say it again... -Carnoustie. 325 00:14:47.207 --> 00:14:48.707 -(LAUGHS) -(JACK LAUGHS) 326 00:14:48.807 --> 00:14:50.787 JACK: Mmm. Mmm. 327 00:14:50.887 --> 00:14:52.787 You got any bedrooms in this joint? 328 00:14:52.887 --> 00:14:54.887 -Several. -Let's go. 329 00:14:56.287 --> 00:14:58.287 (HORNS HONK OUTSIDE) 330 00:15:06.328 --> 00:15:07.708 (EMMY SCREAMS) 331 00:15:07.808 --> 00:15:11.148 (RELAXED MUSIC) 332 00:15:11.248 --> 00:15:13.488 Yes! He has milk. 333 00:15:20.048 --> 00:15:22.048 (STAMPS FOOT) 334 00:15:39.529 --> 00:15:42.469 Ooh! Hi, babe. Your timing's great. 335 00:15:42.569 --> 00:15:44.869 I just finished the book and now I'm starving. 336 00:15:44.969 --> 00:15:46.969 (SIGHS) It's cold out there. 337 00:15:47.849 --> 00:15:50.029 LESLIE: Don't take this personally. 338 00:15:50.129 --> 00:15:51.949 All I got was rejection letters 339 00:15:52.049 --> 00:15:54.469 from the publishing houses that even bothered to reply. 340 00:15:54.569 --> 00:15:57.429 It's just not compelling enough in today's world. 341 00:15:57.529 --> 00:15:59.429 No, no. How is that possible? 342 00:15:59.529 --> 00:16:01.989 My guess is that it's...dated. 343 00:16:02.089 --> 00:16:04.429 I mean, it needs to take place now! 344 00:16:04.529 --> 00:16:05.789 -No. -Yes. 345 00:16:05.889 --> 00:16:07.749 People want a guru, someone they can... 346 00:16:07.849 --> 00:16:09.710 ..they can emulate in these weird times. 347 00:16:09.810 --> 00:16:12.910 A dead lady can't write a sequel or do a spin-off cookbook 348 00:16:13.010 --> 00:16:15.190 or make TikToks or go on Instagram Live. 349 00:16:15.290 --> 00:16:17.230 I don't want to go on Instagram or make TikToks. 350 00:16:17.330 --> 00:16:18.710 I don't want to be an influencer. 351 00:16:18.810 --> 00:16:20.190 -Yes! You...do. -I just want... 352 00:16:20.290 --> 00:16:22.030 A brand. 353 00:16:22.130 --> 00:16:24.310 If you really want to make this work, 354 00:16:24.410 --> 00:16:28.430 you need to write this book in the first person. 355 00:16:28.530 --> 00:16:31.190 -What? -You become your mother. 356 00:16:31.290 --> 00:16:33.270 It's a slam dunk. 357 00:16:33.370 --> 00:16:35.390 No, no... Uh, but... It's... 358 00:16:35.490 --> 00:16:39.470 (LAUGHS) I'm so sorry. Let me just...get this straight. 359 00:16:39.570 --> 00:16:43.991 You want me to take my dead mother's memoir 360 00:16:44.091 --> 00:16:46.471 and write it as my own? 361 00:16:46.571 --> 00:16:48.551 That I'm living in the present day? 362 00:16:48.651 --> 00:16:50.031 Yes! 363 00:16:50.131 --> 00:16:53.271 And then the little girl in the book who was me as a child 364 00:16:53.371 --> 00:16:56.111 becomes my pretend daughter? 365 00:16:56.211 --> 00:16:58.791 -Precisely. -OK. Alright. 366 00:16:58.891 --> 00:17:00.891 Yeah, just, uh, hang on. 367 00:17:01.691 --> 00:17:03.631 Do you want to spend the rest of your life 368 00:17:03.731 --> 00:17:05.271 wondering who you could have been 369 00:17:05.371 --> 00:17:07.231 or do you want to get this book published 370 00:17:07.331 --> 00:17:10.591 and save the Emu Fig Creek Farm Springs? 371 00:17:10.691 --> 00:17:12.711 It's Fig Tree Farm in Emu Springs. 372 00:17:12.811 --> 00:17:14.512 And, yes, I want to save it! 373 00:17:14.612 --> 00:17:16.392 Do you guys still take Groupon? 374 00:17:16.492 --> 00:17:19.472 -They never took Groupon. -It's 50% off. 375 00:17:19.572 --> 00:17:21.232 (WHISPERS) Don't listen to her. 376 00:17:21.332 --> 00:17:23.892 (TRAFFIC NOISES) 377 00:17:25.172 --> 00:17:27.172 (QUIRKY MUSIC) 378 00:17:29.932 --> 00:17:31.932 Alright. 379 00:17:32.572 --> 00:17:34.572 If only it were true. 380 00:17:35.372 --> 00:17:37.372 (PHONE RINGS) 381 00:17:39.372 --> 00:17:41.312 (DOOR OPENS) 382 00:17:41.412 --> 00:17:42.832 JACK: Brrr! 383 00:17:42.932 --> 00:17:45.012 (JACK CLICKS TONGUE) 384 00:17:48.013 --> 00:17:49.433 Hmm. 385 00:17:49.533 --> 00:17:51.513 -Ah! -Hello, Janet. 386 00:17:51.613 --> 00:17:53.033 Got my homework? 387 00:17:53.133 --> 00:17:56.113 I think your mother is trying to make a point. 388 00:17:56.213 --> 00:17:58.393 -Ohhh...you're joking. -(LAUGHS HEARTILY) 389 00:17:58.493 --> 00:18:00.553 What's this manuscript here everyone's reading? 390 00:18:00.653 --> 00:18:03.433 'Clementine'. I put it on the top for you. 391 00:18:03.533 --> 00:18:05.913 -Oh, you're a wee gem, Janet. -(CHUCKLES) 392 00:18:06.013 --> 00:18:07.713 -A wee gem! -(CHUCKLES) 393 00:18:07.813 --> 00:18:09.793 -As you were. -Thank you. 394 00:18:09.893 --> 00:18:11.233 See you, Rachel. 395 00:18:11.333 --> 00:18:13.533 Jim Bob. (MAKES POPPING NOISE) 396 00:18:17.654 --> 00:18:19.154 YOUNG EMMY: Why are they acting so weird? 397 00:18:19.254 --> 00:18:21.514 CLEMENTINE: Crazy dancing is how hens and roosters 398 00:18:21.614 --> 00:18:23.034 know they love each other. 399 00:18:23.134 --> 00:18:24.754 Yuck! 400 00:18:24.854 --> 00:18:28.874 If that's love, I hope I never catch it. 401 00:18:28.974 --> 00:18:32.434 CLEMENTINE: I promise one day you'll change your mind on that. 402 00:18:32.534 --> 00:18:35.514 -(BELL RINGS) -Ho, ho, ho! Merry Christmas! 403 00:18:35.614 --> 00:18:37.834 -(COINS CLINK) -Merry Christmas. 404 00:18:37.934 --> 00:18:39.714 YOUNG EMMY: Here's some words of wisdom 405 00:18:39.814 --> 00:18:42.274 from Clementine on the farm. 406 00:18:42.374 --> 00:18:44.234 I don't want to be on camera. 407 00:18:44.334 --> 00:18:45.834 YOUNG EMMY: You have to talk. 408 00:18:45.934 --> 00:18:48.434 I'm recording. 409 00:18:48.534 --> 00:18:52.795 -What do you want me to say? -Anything. Just talk. 410 00:18:52.895 --> 00:18:54.915 Well... 411 00:18:55.015 --> 00:18:58.395 ..here we are one year into our Fig Tree adventure 412 00:18:58.495 --> 00:19:00.635 and I have lots of updates for you. 413 00:19:00.735 --> 00:19:02.235 (GROANS) 414 00:19:02.335 --> 00:19:06.515 Perhaps you want to see our very, very delicious vegetables 415 00:19:06.615 --> 00:19:09.075 picked fresh from the garden. 416 00:19:09.175 --> 00:19:12.155 Because you know what I say about good food. 417 00:19:12.255 --> 00:19:13.235 (BEEP!) 418 00:19:13.335 --> 00:19:14.595 Good food made great... 419 00:19:14.695 --> 00:19:15.915 (SIGHS) 420 00:19:16.015 --> 00:19:17.355 ..turns any frown... 421 00:19:17.455 --> 00:19:19.455 CLEMENTINE AND YOUNG EMMY: ..upside down! 422 00:19:20.615 --> 00:19:22.616 (MOBILE BUZZES) 423 00:19:27.496 --> 00:19:28.716 Hello? 424 00:19:28.816 --> 00:19:31.316 I have London & London on the line. 425 00:19:31.416 --> 00:19:32.796 They want your 'Clementine' book! 426 00:19:32.896 --> 00:19:34.996 -And they want it bad, babes. -What? 427 00:19:35.096 --> 00:19:37.116 My pitch was note-perfect - they even believed me 428 00:19:37.216 --> 00:19:38.996 when I said we were still fielding offers. 429 00:19:39.096 --> 00:19:41.476 Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. What...what is the offer? 430 00:19:41.576 --> 00:19:43.156 Well, they started at 250,000. 431 00:19:43.256 --> 00:19:44.996 A quarter of a million dollars! 432 00:19:45.096 --> 00:19:46.636 Let's take it! Take it, Leslie. 433 00:19:46.736 --> 00:19:49.396 Are you crazy? You never take the first offer. 434 00:19:49.496 --> 00:19:51.756 -Let me do my thing. -No, no, no, no, no! 435 00:19:51.856 --> 00:19:53.276 I'm putting you on hold. 436 00:19:53.376 --> 00:19:55.197 -No! -Are you still there? 437 00:19:55.297 --> 00:19:57.717 -Still here. -So, I just talked to my client. 438 00:19:57.817 --> 00:19:59.757 And...she wants more money. 439 00:19:59.857 --> 00:20:03.957 250 grand is very, very generous for a first-time author. 440 00:20:04.057 --> 00:20:05.397 LESLIE: Are you kidding me? 441 00:20:05.497 --> 00:20:08.117 This isn't some vampire stiletto airport trash. 442 00:20:08.217 --> 00:20:10.437 We're all on the same page there. Uh... 443 00:20:10.537 --> 00:20:12.317 What's your counter? I need a number. 444 00:20:12.417 --> 00:20:13.877 2 million. 445 00:20:13.977 --> 00:20:15.917 (LAUGHS) OK. You're not serious. 446 00:20:16.017 --> 00:20:17.597 Oh! Hello? -(PHONE DROPS) 447 00:20:17.697 --> 00:20:21.477 -We can go to, um, 500,000. -No, no! No, no, no! 448 00:20:21.577 --> 00:20:22.957 Oh! 449 00:20:23.057 --> 00:20:24.957 Tell me what other publishing houses are interested. 450 00:20:25.057 --> 00:20:26.958 -Maybe we can match them. -Oh, my God. 451 00:20:27.058 --> 00:20:29.158 No. No, no, no, no, no, no, no! 452 00:20:29.258 --> 00:20:31.318 No, no, no! Not now! 453 00:20:31.418 --> 00:20:33.478 Listen, London & London are very... 454 00:20:33.578 --> 00:20:34.598 Hello? 455 00:20:34.698 --> 00:20:36.038 ..very serious about acquiring the rights 456 00:20:36.138 --> 00:20:37.038 to this book. 457 00:20:37.138 --> 00:20:38.798 I can go to 750,000. 458 00:20:38.898 --> 00:20:41.038 Uh, we are taking other offers, 459 00:20:41.138 --> 00:20:42.838 talking to many other publishers. 460 00:20:42.938 --> 00:20:45.418 Lots of money. We want... We want all the money. 461 00:20:46.418 --> 00:20:50.918 Look, listen, all I can pay maximum is $1 million. 462 00:20:51.018 --> 00:20:53.598 That is a final offer. It's take it or leave it. 463 00:20:53.698 --> 00:20:55.798 -A million bucks? -A million dollars?! 464 00:20:55.898 --> 00:20:58.318 -Who's that? -Take it. We're taking it. 465 00:20:58.418 --> 00:21:00.439 -Wait. So we have a deal? -BOTH: Deal! 466 00:21:00.539 --> 00:21:05.519 Yes! We have a deal, people! 467 00:21:05.619 --> 00:21:07.999 -(SCREAMS) -(SQUEALS) 468 00:21:08.099 --> 00:21:09.319 (LAUGHS) 469 00:21:09.419 --> 00:21:12.119 Whoo! We saved the farm. 470 00:21:12.219 --> 00:21:13.559 Ohh! 471 00:21:13.659 --> 00:21:15.659 -(PHONE BUZZES) -(SIGHS) 472 00:21:18.019 --> 00:21:20.019 (GROANS) 473 00:21:21.699 --> 00:21:23.119 Hmm. 474 00:21:23.219 --> 00:21:24.319 Hello. 475 00:21:24.419 --> 00:21:26.639 -(EMMY SCREAMS) -What happened? 476 00:21:26.739 --> 00:21:28.599 -EMMY: Deal! Deal! -(LAUGHS) 477 00:21:28.699 --> 00:21:30.479 I think Emmy sold her book. 478 00:21:30.579 --> 00:21:32.760 -(EMMY SCREAMS AND LAUGHS) -(BOTH LAUGH) 479 00:21:32.860 --> 00:21:33.840 EMMY: Yes! 480 00:21:33.940 --> 00:21:35.640 -BOTH: Congratulations! -(ROOSTER CROWS) 481 00:21:35.740 --> 00:21:37.040 BOTH: Shut up, Gregory! 482 00:21:37.140 --> 00:21:38.760 (CLUCKS) 483 00:21:38.860 --> 00:21:40.880 (POP!) 484 00:21:40.980 --> 00:21:42.980 (KNOCK AT DOOR) 485 00:21:43.940 --> 00:21:47.640 Babe...I'm...calling. You don't answer. 486 00:21:47.740 --> 00:21:50.080 Did you...run...here? 487 00:21:50.180 --> 00:21:53.240 -Yes! -What is going on, Leslie? 488 00:21:53.340 --> 00:21:55.240 Ellison London and her son 489 00:21:55.340 --> 00:21:58.680 are coming to Emu Creek Farm Springs for Christmas! 490 00:21:58.780 --> 00:22:00.880 What? 491 00:22:00.980 --> 00:22:02.240 Why? 492 00:22:02.340 --> 00:22:04.321 What is going on? 493 00:22:04.421 --> 00:22:05.721 Did I not tell you about 494 00:22:05.821 --> 00:22:07.921 that little line item in the contract? 495 00:22:08.021 --> 00:22:09.441 Before they close the deal, 496 00:22:09.541 --> 00:22:11.601 London & London has the right to meet you. 497 00:22:11.701 --> 00:22:15.241 With an invitation to Christmas in...in Australia? 498 00:22:15.341 --> 00:22:17.241 Two invitations to Christmas in Australia, actually. 499 00:22:17.341 --> 00:22:19.201 One for you and one for her son. 500 00:22:19.301 --> 00:22:21.041 With you, your husband and your daughter. 501 00:22:21.141 --> 00:22:22.801 I don't have a husband or a daughter. 502 00:22:22.901 --> 00:22:24.521 Or a mother. I know. So sad. 503 00:22:24.621 --> 00:22:25.761 Leslie! 504 00:22:25.861 --> 00:22:28.481 They want the full Emu Farm Springs experience 505 00:22:28.581 --> 00:22:30.561 just like in the book or the deal goes away. 506 00:22:30.661 --> 00:22:32.741 (THROWS PIZZA CRUST) Ooh, pickles! 507 00:22:33.861 --> 00:22:36.942 OK, I want you to look me in the eyes and listen, OK? 508 00:22:38.262 --> 00:22:39.682 I don't do farm. 509 00:22:39.782 --> 00:22:41.442 I can't cook. 510 00:22:41.542 --> 00:22:44.202 I can't even boil an egg. 511 00:22:44.302 --> 00:22:46.882 It's not so bad. You just become your mother for a few weeks. 512 00:22:46.982 --> 00:22:48.482 Tickle a few cows with some suits. 513 00:22:48.582 --> 00:22:50.042 Give them Clem's Country Christmas, 514 00:22:50.142 --> 00:22:51.522 save 'Little House on the Prairie' 515 00:22:51.622 --> 00:22:53.622 and, boom, all your dreams come true. 516 00:22:56.062 --> 00:22:57.522 I... 517 00:22:57.622 --> 00:22:59.862 (BRIGHT ORCHESTRAL MUSIC) 518 00:23:08.183 --> 00:23:10.243 It's not funny. 519 00:23:10.343 --> 00:23:12.803 It is kind of funny. 520 00:23:12.903 --> 00:23:15.643 I only have a few days to find myself a husband, 521 00:23:15.743 --> 00:23:18.943 a daughter and become my mother, OK? 522 00:23:19.943 --> 00:23:22.363 -MILES: Jump in. -(DAVID GROANS) 523 00:23:22.463 --> 00:23:25.123 -EMMY: I'm not that heavy! -No. 524 00:23:25.223 --> 00:23:27.223 (DAVID SIGHS) 525 00:23:29.183 --> 00:23:30.803 EMMY: That's new. 526 00:23:30.903 --> 00:23:33.843 Oh, yes, Miles started an online art class. 527 00:23:33.943 --> 00:23:35.843 When you tilt your head to the side, 528 00:23:35.943 --> 00:23:37.483 there's a whole new picture. 529 00:23:37.583 --> 00:23:39.583 Oh! 530 00:23:42.264 --> 00:23:43.564 Ohhh. 531 00:23:43.664 --> 00:23:45.964 Once you see it, can't unsee it, right? 532 00:23:46.064 --> 00:23:47.644 (MILES CHUCKLES) 533 00:23:47.744 --> 00:23:50.764 -In the... In the living room? -It's the perfect spot for it. 534 00:23:50.864 --> 00:23:52.604 DAVID: He's a regular Leonardo. 535 00:23:52.704 --> 00:23:55.084 Painted me like one of his French girls. 536 00:23:55.184 --> 00:23:56.484 (CHUCKLES) 537 00:23:56.584 --> 00:23:59.364 First things first, yeah? OK? 538 00:23:59.464 --> 00:24:02.724 I need a husband. David? 539 00:24:02.824 --> 00:24:06.004 Um...I may as well be your sister. 540 00:24:06.104 --> 00:24:07.924 Plus he smirks uncontrollably when he lies. 541 00:24:08.024 --> 00:24:09.684 -You know that annoying smile? -That's true. 542 00:24:09.784 --> 00:24:12.465 -It's a lovely quality. -Alright, alright, alright. 543 00:24:13.665 --> 00:24:15.665 You - what do you say? 544 00:24:16.705 --> 00:24:18.965 -I do. I do! -Yes? Excellent! 545 00:24:19.065 --> 00:24:20.805 No, he doesn't, and he can't. 546 00:24:20.905 --> 00:24:23.165 -Why not? -Oh! So controlling. 547 00:24:23.265 --> 00:24:26.645 Well, you can't push Miles back into the closet. 548 00:24:26.745 --> 00:24:28.445 He's already dealt with his family 549 00:24:28.545 --> 00:24:30.445 and societal expectations. 550 00:24:30.545 --> 00:24:32.885 Two, do you really think that Miles would be convincing 551 00:24:32.985 --> 00:24:35.725 as your husband given how extra you can be? 552 00:24:35.825 --> 00:24:37.965 You think I'm too gay to be straight? 553 00:24:38.065 --> 00:24:39.565 -DAVID: I think... -What? 554 00:24:39.665 --> 00:24:42.965 I think you've spent years hiding your light 555 00:24:43.065 --> 00:24:44.606 and now that you've let it out, 556 00:24:44.706 --> 00:24:48.006 that wonderful, bright, exuberant light, 557 00:24:48.106 --> 00:24:52.046 I'm just not sure that you have a...dimmer switch. 558 00:24:52.146 --> 00:24:54.086 -I can do this! -DAVID: Mm-hm. 559 00:24:54.186 --> 00:24:56.326 I can be heteronormative! 560 00:24:56.426 --> 00:24:58.046 -Yes! Yes, you can! -DAVID: OK. 561 00:24:58.146 --> 00:24:59.446 I can be macho. 562 00:24:59.546 --> 00:25:01.446 I'll be the Hemsworth brother they never had. 563 00:25:01.546 --> 00:25:03.366 -DAVID: Another one? -Russell Crowe's country cousin. 564 00:25:03.466 --> 00:25:04.926 I believe in you! 565 00:25:05.026 --> 00:25:09.166 (LAUGHS) My God, you do? This is gonna be so much fun! 566 00:25:09.266 --> 00:25:11.826 -Tea? -Thank you, darling. 567 00:25:12.826 --> 00:25:14.286 Fine. Who am I supposed to be? 568 00:25:14.386 --> 00:25:15.846 Uh, you could be my personal assistant. 569 00:25:15.946 --> 00:25:17.527 -Oh... No. -Mmm! 570 00:25:17.627 --> 00:25:19.007 -Man here to castrate the goats. -What? 571 00:25:19.107 --> 00:25:20.527 Uh...I don't know, travelling salesman. 572 00:25:20.627 --> 00:25:23.127 Really, really, really, really, really, really, really old 573 00:25:23.227 --> 00:25:24.167 foreign exchange student. 574 00:25:24.267 --> 00:25:25.927 -Thank you. -MILES: I have an idea. 575 00:25:26.027 --> 00:25:30.087 It is so kooky. It just might work. We tell the truth. 576 00:25:30.187 --> 00:25:32.247 You say he is your cousin visiting for Christmas. 577 00:25:32.347 --> 00:25:33.927 -Great. Fine. Works for me. -Good work. 578 00:25:34.027 --> 00:25:36.927 OK, moving on. Darling daughter. I need a daughter, I need a kid. 579 00:25:37.027 --> 00:25:38.687 -(INHALES) -Let's rent one. 580 00:25:38.787 --> 00:25:42.607 I can call a talent agency in, like, Brisbane or Sydney, 581 00:25:42.707 --> 00:25:44.567 somewhere like that, and just rent a kid. 582 00:25:44.667 --> 00:25:46.007 I think even stage parents 583 00:25:46.107 --> 00:25:47.727 want their children around at Christmas. 584 00:25:47.827 --> 00:25:49.688 -MILES: Yeah. -Ooh. OK. Ohhh. 585 00:25:49.788 --> 00:25:51.408 Uh...I'm...I'm 12 in the book. 586 00:25:51.508 --> 00:25:52.528 -Right? -Mm-hm. 587 00:25:52.628 --> 00:25:55.848 Tweens hate their parents. She ran away. 588 00:25:55.948 --> 00:25:57.328 And you didn't notice? 589 00:25:57.428 --> 00:25:59.208 Poor thing, she could be anywhere by now. 590 00:25:59.308 --> 00:26:02.048 Hmm-hmm-mm-mm. She's at a sleepover. 591 00:26:02.148 --> 00:26:03.568 -Oh! -An extended... 592 00:26:03.668 --> 00:26:07.208 An extended Christmas sleepover. 593 00:26:07.308 --> 00:26:09.528 -It will have to do. -It will have to do. 594 00:26:09.628 --> 00:26:12.248 Now, what are we gonna do about you? 595 00:26:12.348 --> 00:26:14.528 -Hmm. -What do you mean about me? 596 00:26:14.628 --> 00:26:17.128 I grew up here. I know my way around this place. I'm fine. 597 00:26:17.228 --> 00:26:18.848 MILES: It's just, uh, your clothes and, uh... 598 00:26:18.948 --> 00:26:20.208 -(INHALES SHARPLY) -Yeah. 599 00:26:20.308 --> 00:26:22.889 -BOTH: Your hair. -What's wrong with my hair? 600 00:26:22.989 --> 00:26:24.889 No, he's right. None of this is Clementine. 601 00:26:24.989 --> 00:26:27.169 It's like she needs some sort of farm 602 00:26:27.269 --> 00:26:29.969 boot camp make-under situation. 603 00:26:30.069 --> 00:26:31.769 -Is that a thing? -No, it's not a thing. 604 00:26:31.869 --> 00:26:33.529 -It is now. -No, it's not! 605 00:26:33.629 --> 00:26:35.649 -Let's go shopping! -No, we're not! 606 00:26:35.749 --> 00:26:36.809 (MILES LAUGHS) 607 00:26:36.909 --> 00:26:39.649 (UPBEAT MUSIC) 608 00:26:39.749 --> 00:26:41.749 Fan out, people. 609 00:26:44.389 --> 00:26:46.389 (DAVID INHALES DEEPLY) Hmm. 610 00:26:47.349 --> 00:26:49.349 Hmm. Mmm. 611 00:26:49.829 --> 00:26:50.929 No. 612 00:26:51.029 --> 00:26:52.529 Do I hold one or two? 613 00:26:52.629 --> 00:26:54.010 -Grab it and pull. -Hang on. 614 00:26:54.110 --> 00:26:55.450 -(COW MOOS) -(SCREAMS) 615 00:26:55.550 --> 00:26:58.730 -Nothing is coming out. -No wonder she's still single. 616 00:26:58.830 --> 00:27:01.470 -I heard that! -(COW LOWS) 617 00:27:03.190 --> 00:27:05.210 MILES: It's a little bit 'House on the Prairie'. 618 00:27:05.310 --> 00:27:06.890 Reminds me of 'Poltergeist'. 619 00:27:06.990 --> 00:27:09.190 I think the mum wore something like that. 620 00:27:10.550 --> 00:27:12.550 (UPBEAT MUSIC CONTINUES) 621 00:27:19.390 --> 00:27:21.570 Ugh! 622 00:27:21.670 --> 00:27:22.770 (CLICKS) 623 00:27:22.870 --> 00:27:24.870 -Uh-uh. -No? 624 00:27:27.271 --> 00:27:29.771 Joanna Gaines has got nothing on you. 625 00:27:29.871 --> 00:27:31.251 Would your mum have approved? 626 00:27:31.351 --> 00:27:32.891 Is it Aunty-Clem-Christmassy enough? 627 00:27:32.991 --> 00:27:34.651 You know what, it-it-it-it's great. 628 00:27:34.751 --> 00:27:37.211 I just think you need less balls, more bush. 629 00:27:37.311 --> 00:27:40.531 You know, think less gaudy, more...earthy. 630 00:27:40.631 --> 00:27:43.011 -MILES: I am allergic to bush. -DAVID: You know what? 631 00:27:43.111 --> 00:27:45.691 Right now, I'm less concerned about your foliage 632 00:27:45.791 --> 00:27:47.131 and more concerned about your accent. 633 00:27:47.231 --> 00:27:48.571 What's wrong with my accent? 634 00:27:48.671 --> 00:27:50.371 I can still speak Australian if I need to. 635 00:27:50.471 --> 00:27:52.851 Say "Can I have a glass of water?" 636 00:27:52.951 --> 00:27:54.951 Can I have a glass of wa-ter? 637 00:27:55.551 --> 00:27:57.011 -Wor-ter. -Wa-ter. 638 00:27:57.111 --> 00:27:58.292 Wor-ter! 639 00:27:58.392 --> 00:27:59.732 -Wa-ter. -Wor-ter. 640 00:27:59.832 --> 00:28:01.452 What the hell's happening to me? 641 00:28:01.552 --> 00:28:03.372 Well, you've been living overseas for 20 years. 642 00:28:03.472 --> 00:28:04.492 -Footpath. -Paa-th. 643 00:28:04.592 --> 00:28:05.972 Garage, tuna. 644 00:28:06.072 --> 00:28:08.172 Tyu-na. Tu-na. 645 00:28:08.272 --> 00:28:09.852 BOTH: Chu-na! 646 00:28:09.952 --> 00:28:12.092 -♪ More, more, more... ♪ -Bleurgh! 647 00:28:12.192 --> 00:28:14.492 ('MORE, MORE, MORE' By KRISSIE KARLSSON AND KARL KARLSSON) 648 00:28:14.592 --> 00:28:15.772 -(DAVID SHOUTS) -Ow! 649 00:28:15.872 --> 00:28:18.292 ♪ I have it, got to have it 650 00:28:18.392 --> 00:28:19.772 ♪ More, more, more 651 00:28:19.872 --> 00:28:22.012 ♪ I've got to have it Got to have it 652 00:28:22.112 --> 00:28:23.452 ♪ Ooh-oh-oh... ♪ 653 00:28:23.552 --> 00:28:25.492 Mmm. That's perfect. 654 00:28:25.592 --> 00:28:27.812 Yes. And up here. 655 00:28:27.912 --> 00:28:29.452 -Ow! -Sorry. 656 00:28:29.552 --> 00:28:30.733 -Just dunk your head in. -(SCREAMS) 657 00:28:30.833 --> 00:28:32.853 -There you go. Feels wonderful! -(SCREAMS) 658 00:28:32.953 --> 00:28:35.413 Beautiful. (LAUGHS) 659 00:28:35.513 --> 00:28:37.213 -♪ More, more, more.... ♪ -It's gonna look fabulous. 660 00:28:37.313 --> 00:28:39.133 -♪ Got to have it... ♪ -Ooh! Ahhh. 661 00:28:39.233 --> 00:28:40.773 -♪ Ooh-oh-oh... ♪ -Argh! 662 00:28:40.873 --> 00:28:42.873 Reveal. 663 00:28:43.793 --> 00:28:45.293 BOTH: Whoa. 664 00:28:45.393 --> 00:28:48.253 A good whoa or...or a bad whoa? 665 00:28:48.353 --> 00:28:51.073 Beautiful. Goddess of the earth. 666 00:28:53.273 --> 00:28:56.353 You look just like her. 667 00:28:57.513 --> 00:29:00.153 (PLAYS REPEATED NOTE ON THE PIANO) 668 00:29:02.353 --> 00:29:04.094 (TRAFFIC NOISES IN THE DISTANCE) 669 00:29:04.194 --> 00:29:06.194 (KNOCK AT DOOR) 670 00:29:07.714 --> 00:29:09.974 (LAUGHS) Avalon. 671 00:29:10.074 --> 00:29:12.534 -What are you doing here? -I missed you. 672 00:29:12.634 --> 00:29:14.054 Come in. 673 00:29:14.154 --> 00:29:15.974 So you just all of a sudden missed me? 674 00:29:16.074 --> 00:29:18.574 Well, I realised how much I missed you... 675 00:29:18.674 --> 00:29:20.774 -(DOOR SHUTS) -..when a friend of mine 676 00:29:20.874 --> 00:29:22.854 was at the bar downstairs the other night 677 00:29:22.954 --> 00:29:25.974 and sent me...this. 678 00:29:26.074 --> 00:29:27.694 JACK: How could he not love you? 679 00:29:27.794 --> 00:29:29.294 ('BLUE (DA DA BEE)' BY EIFFEL 69 PLAYS) 680 00:29:29.394 --> 00:29:31.394 Who's the "Blue da-ba-da-di" girl? 681 00:29:32.034 --> 00:29:33.974 First of all, that's creepy. 682 00:29:34.074 --> 00:29:36.055 Second of all, why do you care? 683 00:29:36.155 --> 00:29:38.615 Aren't you with the tattoo artiste? 684 00:29:38.715 --> 00:29:41.335 He's actually a gui-tar-ist. 685 00:29:41.435 --> 00:29:43.135 -And we're on a break right now. -Oh. 686 00:29:43.235 --> 00:29:46.615 Oh! Going somewhere fun? Need a plus one? 687 00:29:46.715 --> 00:29:48.935 Uh... (SIGHS) 688 00:29:49.035 --> 00:29:52.215 I'm going on a work trip to an Australian farm with Ellison. 689 00:29:52.315 --> 00:29:55.335 A farm? But it's Christmas. 690 00:29:55.435 --> 00:29:57.815 Christmas is for nude beaches and umbrella drinks. 691 00:29:57.915 --> 00:29:59.535 Yeah, well, Ellison wants me to take 692 00:29:59.635 --> 00:30:01.055 more interest in the business. 693 00:30:01.155 --> 00:30:03.215 And then when I do, she doesn't trust me. 694 00:30:03.315 --> 00:30:07.055 So, either way, I turn out a disappointment. 695 00:30:07.155 --> 00:30:09.856 Jackie. Jackie, Jackie, Jackie. 696 00:30:09.956 --> 00:30:12.896 (SIGHS) I know how much you hate your job. 697 00:30:12.996 --> 00:30:13.896 -Hmm. -Ah! 698 00:30:13.996 --> 00:30:15.896 Do you want me to get you out of it? 699 00:30:15.996 --> 00:30:19.816 -What do you mean? -I could show up in Australia. 700 00:30:19.916 --> 00:30:24.216 Scoop you up and whisk you off to Bora Bora, hmm? 701 00:30:24.316 --> 00:30:26.696 We have fun together, don't we? 702 00:30:26.796 --> 00:30:29.736 Mmm. As tempting as that sounds... 703 00:30:29.836 --> 00:30:32.236 -Hmm. -..I have to work. 704 00:30:33.236 --> 00:30:34.896 -Oh. -Mmm. 705 00:30:34.996 --> 00:30:36.976 Read the book. It's amazing. 706 00:30:37.076 --> 00:30:40.637 The author, Clementine, she's really fascinating. 707 00:30:41.637 --> 00:30:46.037 Well, you know how much I love to read books. 708 00:30:47.637 --> 00:30:49.617 Wait. Who's Ellison? 709 00:30:49.717 --> 00:30:51.697 Really? 710 00:30:51.797 --> 00:30:54.657 -I'm so sorry, Ms London. -Don't apologise. 711 00:30:54.757 --> 00:30:56.337 Just do better. 712 00:30:56.437 --> 00:30:57.697 Ohh. 713 00:30:57.797 --> 00:30:58.977 Mmm! 714 00:30:59.077 --> 00:31:00.297 What is this? 715 00:31:00.397 --> 00:31:02.697 A gingerbread latte. It's festive. 716 00:31:02.797 --> 00:31:06.337 Do I look like a person who likes festive lattes? 717 00:31:06.437 --> 00:31:07.857 Who doesn't love Christmas? 718 00:31:07.957 --> 00:31:09.457 The only good thing about Christmas 719 00:31:09.557 --> 00:31:11.097 is the uptick in book sales. 720 00:31:11.197 --> 00:31:13.698 JACK: Ha! Well, well, well. You made it, Mother. 721 00:31:13.798 --> 00:31:16.738 This 'Clementine' book is the first time in a decade 722 00:31:16.838 --> 00:31:19.578 you've cared about anything that didn't involve craft cocktails 723 00:31:19.678 --> 00:31:21.458 or 4-day weekends - of course I made it. 724 00:31:21.558 --> 00:31:24.218 Well, you wanted a bestseller, I'm giving you a bestseller. 725 00:31:24.318 --> 00:31:26.478 -So... -We'll see. 726 00:31:27.478 --> 00:31:29.338 What end of the plane do you want? 727 00:31:29.438 --> 00:31:31.438 As you like. 728 00:31:32.598 --> 00:31:35.018 (FOOTSTEPS APPROACH) 729 00:31:35.118 --> 00:31:37.158 (WHISPERS) It's gonna be a long flight. 730 00:31:38.318 --> 00:31:40.018 (GENTLE MUSIC, BIRDSONG) 731 00:31:40.118 --> 00:31:42.318 (CLUCKING) 732 00:31:45.559 --> 00:31:47.559 (SNIFFS) 733 00:31:51.679 --> 00:31:53.839 (HUMS) 734 00:31:57.399 --> 00:31:58.419 Argh! 735 00:31:58.519 --> 00:32:00.299 (PANTS) 736 00:32:00.399 --> 00:32:02.379 (HUMS) 737 00:32:02.479 --> 00:32:04.619 -Go wake up Emmy! -Oh! 738 00:32:04.719 --> 00:32:06.059 -(DOOR OPENS) -(CLUCKS) 739 00:32:06.159 --> 00:32:08.839 -They're here! -The publishers are early! 740 00:32:09.839 --> 00:32:12.559 -EMMY: What? -They're here! 741 00:32:14.959 --> 00:32:16.540 DRIVER: They, uh, don't refer to Australia 742 00:32:16.640 --> 00:32:18.640 as God's country for nothin'. 743 00:32:19.400 --> 00:32:20.940 Oh. 744 00:32:21.040 --> 00:32:23.620 Where is my dress? They were supposed to here for dinner. 745 00:32:23.720 --> 00:32:25.780 -Ow! Ow. -Good God! Your hair. 746 00:32:25.880 --> 00:32:27.460 Do you have sparrows nesting in there? 747 00:32:27.560 --> 00:32:29.660 Oh! I've got to go get changed! 748 00:32:29.760 --> 00:32:31.580 EMMY: I swear to God, Gregory, 749 00:32:31.680 --> 00:32:34.220 you cluck with me this weekend and you'll be Christmas lunch! 750 00:32:34.320 --> 00:32:35.900 Ow! Could you get the dress? 751 00:32:36.000 --> 00:32:38.000 -Just get the dress. -Alright. Alright! 752 00:32:38.560 --> 00:32:40.180 Where the hell is my husband? 753 00:32:40.280 --> 00:32:42.340 Just relax. Be calm. We've got this. 754 00:32:42.440 --> 00:32:44.300 OK, I'm relaxed and calm. 755 00:32:44.400 --> 00:32:45.380 Your accent. 756 00:32:45.480 --> 00:32:47.420 Ah! Relaxed and ca-alm. 757 00:32:47.520 --> 00:32:48.941 -50% less. -OK. 758 00:32:49.041 --> 00:32:51.401 OK. Relaxed and ca-alm. 759 00:32:52.681 --> 00:32:54.681 OK. 760 00:32:55.081 --> 00:32:57.501 (AUSSIE ACCENT) Hello! And welcome to Fig Tree Farm. 761 00:32:57.601 --> 00:32:59.741 Well, you must be our special guest from America. 762 00:32:59.841 --> 00:33:02.501 -From London & London. -Ellison London, CEO. 763 00:33:02.601 --> 00:33:04.581 -I-I-I don't do hands. -Oh! 764 00:33:04.681 --> 00:33:06.941 And this is my associate, Jackson. 765 00:33:07.041 --> 00:33:09.501 Bit formal. Also her son. Hi. 766 00:33:09.601 --> 00:33:11.061 (DOG BARKS IN THE DISTANCE) 767 00:33:11.161 --> 00:33:13.181 -Oh. -(JACK CHUCKLES) 768 00:33:13.281 --> 00:33:15.181 (EMMY LAUGHS) It's a little bit funny, actually, 769 00:33:15.281 --> 00:33:17.741 'cause, uh, it's sort of a wild story... 770 00:33:17.841 --> 00:33:19.621 This must be the famous Clementine. 771 00:33:19.721 --> 00:33:21.662 (KOOKABURRA LAUGHS, COW MOOS) 772 00:33:21.762 --> 00:33:23.702 It's so good to meet you. 773 00:33:23.802 --> 00:33:27.302 Yes! Yes, good to meet you too. 774 00:33:27.402 --> 00:33:29.742 I am the famous Clementine Walker, Sr. 775 00:33:29.842 --> 00:33:32.502 (LAUGHS) It's, um, great to meet you. 776 00:33:32.602 --> 00:33:34.222 -(JACK CHUCKLES) -I'm so sorry. Come on in. 777 00:33:34.322 --> 00:33:35.302 -Please. -Sure. 778 00:33:35.402 --> 00:33:37.462 -Thank you. (LAUGHS) -Be our guest. 779 00:33:37.562 --> 00:33:38.942 -We've got your bags. -Thank you. 780 00:33:39.042 --> 00:33:40.942 -Don't worry about it. -Come through. Come in. Hi. 781 00:33:41.042 --> 00:33:42.462 -JACK: Hi. -DAVID: Hi. 782 00:33:42.562 --> 00:33:44.382 David, get the bags, get the bags. 783 00:33:44.482 --> 00:33:47.082 -JACK: G'day. -Oh, right in here. Go through. 784 00:33:49.522 --> 00:33:51.802 EMMY: Please, just make yourselves at home. 785 00:33:52.802 --> 00:33:56.343 JACK: Oh, wow! This is beautiful. 786 00:33:56.443 --> 00:33:58.663 I really can't thank you enough 787 00:33:58.763 --> 00:34:00.663 for accommodating us at such short notice. 788 00:34:00.763 --> 00:34:03.183 Oh, well, how could I say no? 789 00:34:03.283 --> 00:34:05.903 Everyone in our New York office is very jealous 790 00:34:06.003 --> 00:34:08.143 we were getting the whole Fig Tree Farm experience. 791 00:34:08.243 --> 00:34:09.263 Oh! 792 00:34:09.363 --> 00:34:10.783 Your book is literally 793 00:34:10.883 --> 00:34:12.263 all anyone's talking about at the moment. 794 00:34:12.363 --> 00:34:14.903 It certainly cost us enough. (LAUGHS) 795 00:34:15.003 --> 00:34:18.183 I wasn't expecting it to be so warm. 796 00:34:18.283 --> 00:34:19.663 -It is very hot. -EMMY: Yeah! 797 00:34:19.763 --> 00:34:21.263 That's Australia at Christmas for you. 798 00:34:21.363 --> 00:34:23.303 Carry a fan, that's what I say. 799 00:34:23.403 --> 00:34:24.703 JACK: Oh, thank you. 800 00:34:24.803 --> 00:34:26.424 So, have you always had 801 00:34:26.524 --> 00:34:29.484 such an interest in the farming life? 802 00:34:30.484 --> 00:34:32.104 I... Well... I... 803 00:34:32.204 --> 00:34:34.304 -Yes! -Yes. 804 00:34:34.404 --> 00:34:37.424 It's always been in Clementine's blood. 805 00:34:37.524 --> 00:34:39.624 -Mm-hm. Mm-hm. -This must be the husband. 806 00:34:39.724 --> 00:34:41.724 I'm... 807 00:34:42.364 --> 00:34:45.544 EMMY: Ahh, no. This is my cousin...cousin David. 808 00:34:45.644 --> 00:34:47.104 -JACK: Oh! -EMMY: Yes, yes. 809 00:34:47.204 --> 00:34:49.524 ELLISON: Is something wrong with his face? 810 00:34:50.564 --> 00:34:54.104 He had tooth surgery, uh, just about a week ago. 811 00:34:54.204 --> 00:34:55.704 -JACK: Oh. (INHALES SHARPLY) -Last week. 812 00:34:55.804 --> 00:34:57.184 -JACK: Oh, no. -It's painful. 813 00:34:57.284 --> 00:34:58.665 EMMY: Yes, yes, darling. You alright? 814 00:34:58.765 --> 00:35:01.345 -JACK: Ouch! Yeah. -EMMY: Ouch, yes. Very painful. 815 00:35:01.445 --> 00:35:03.665 (BROAD AUSSIE ACCENT) Sorry, avocados! Ha ha! 816 00:35:03.765 --> 00:35:06.265 I was just taking care of a few things out back. 817 00:35:06.365 --> 00:35:09.185 G'day, g'day, g'day, g'day! 818 00:35:09.285 --> 00:35:10.625 -(LAUGHS) -Oh! (CLEARS THROAT) 819 00:35:10.725 --> 00:35:13.065 That's how you do it in Australia. (LAUGHS) 820 00:35:13.165 --> 00:35:16.305 -Miles Jones. -Oh, that's quite a grip, Miles. 821 00:35:16.405 --> 00:35:19.465 You working cows all day, you get a strong handshake. Ha ha! 822 00:35:19.565 --> 00:35:20.945 Oooh! Ooh! Ooh! Ooh! 823 00:35:21.045 --> 00:35:22.665 -Alright. How are you? -EMMY: Hello, darling. 824 00:35:22.765 --> 00:35:24.705 -(MILES CHUCKLES) -Hello, hello, hel... Ooh! 825 00:35:24.805 --> 00:35:27.465 -Hello, sweetheart. (CHUCKLES) -Ohh. 826 00:35:27.565 --> 00:35:30.846 And, uh, we're missing a daughter, huh? 827 00:35:31.886 --> 00:35:33.386 She's at a sleepover. 828 00:35:33.486 --> 00:35:34.986 Oh. 829 00:35:35.086 --> 00:35:36.666 All...all of Christmas? 830 00:35:36.766 --> 00:35:40.906 It's an extended sleepover with her very, very best friends. 831 00:35:41.006 --> 00:35:42.746 They don't celebrate Christmas. They're Jewish. 832 00:35:42.846 --> 00:35:44.506 -Pagans. -Muslim. 833 00:35:44.606 --> 00:35:47.066 EMMY: Khan-Kaufmans. Fascinating, uh, family. 834 00:35:47.166 --> 00:35:48.946 Live just a couple of farms over. 835 00:35:49.046 --> 00:35:52.226 Could I offer anyone a Fig Tree Fizz? 836 00:35:52.326 --> 00:35:53.986 -DAVID: Oooh! -JACK: Yeah. Thank you. 837 00:35:54.086 --> 00:35:55.506 Yes! Yes, it's a delicious cocktail. 838 00:35:55.606 --> 00:35:58.186 Um, cousin...David, husband...Miles, 839 00:35:58.286 --> 00:35:59.786 why don't you join me in the kitchen? 840 00:35:59.886 --> 00:36:01.306 JACK: Huh. 841 00:36:01.406 --> 00:36:02.547 Struth! 842 00:36:02.647 --> 00:36:04.187 I wouldn't usually step into the kitchen 843 00:36:04.287 --> 00:36:06.827 unless it was to crack open a cold tinnie, eh? Eh? 844 00:36:06.927 --> 00:36:08.927 -(LAUGHS AWKWARDLY) -(MILES LAUGHS) Yeah. 845 00:36:09.607 --> 00:36:12.247 (MILES CHUCKLES) 846 00:36:13.367 --> 00:36:14.747 (EXHALES) 847 00:36:14.847 --> 00:36:16.927 Something odd about all this. 848 00:36:17.927 --> 00:36:19.307 It's called Christmas. 849 00:36:19.407 --> 00:36:21.507 DAVID: You just had to mention the Fig Tree Fizz! 850 00:36:21.607 --> 00:36:23.107 I haven't made one of them in years! 851 00:36:23.207 --> 00:36:24.867 I was trying to save the situation. 852 00:36:24.967 --> 00:36:27.267 "G'day, avocados"? 853 00:36:27.367 --> 00:36:29.867 Why should you be the only one who gets to do an accent? 854 00:36:29.967 --> 00:36:31.907 -What voice was that even? -It was Mick Dundee! 855 00:36:32.007 --> 00:36:33.747 Americans love 'Crocodile Dundee'. 856 00:36:33.847 --> 00:36:34.948 I...I... 857 00:36:35.048 --> 00:36:36.908 On the plus side, that Jack guy's pretty cute. 858 00:36:37.008 --> 00:36:39.888 No. No. Listen to me. Listen to me. I've met him. 859 00:36:40.888 --> 00:36:42.348 What? 860 00:36:42.448 --> 00:36:43.508 -In New York. -DAVID: What? 861 00:36:43.608 --> 00:36:45.708 I've met him. 862 00:36:45.808 --> 00:36:48.108 You 'met him' met him? 863 00:36:48.208 --> 00:36:49.668 -Like 'met him'... -(MILES GASPS) 864 00:36:49.768 --> 00:36:51.028 -Like you...you... -..met him. 865 00:36:51.128 --> 00:36:53.028 -What?! -Oh, it was a one-night stand. 866 00:36:53.128 --> 00:36:54.508 -It was nothing tawdry. -Oh, God. 867 00:36:54.608 --> 00:36:56.068 Just two people looking for some companionship 868 00:36:56.168 --> 00:36:57.948 after drinking their body weight in Boulevardiers. 869 00:36:58.048 --> 00:37:00.388 That's why he was looking at you like the world had stopped! 870 00:37:00.488 --> 00:37:02.668 No! He was looking at me like we'd never even met. 871 00:37:02.768 --> 00:37:04.828 Told you we did a fabulous job on her hair. 872 00:37:04.928 --> 00:37:06.228 -Oh, my stars. -DAVID: Maybe...maybe... 873 00:37:06.328 --> 00:37:07.669 -This is really, really bad. -Maybe it's... 874 00:37:07.769 --> 00:37:08.829 -(BOTTLE POPS) -..fate. 875 00:37:08.929 --> 00:37:10.629 MILES: It's a goddamn Christmas miracle. 876 00:37:10.729 --> 00:37:12.749 EMMY: Hey, are you two out of your heads? 877 00:37:12.849 --> 00:37:15.349 It's a goddamn Christmas disaster! 878 00:37:15.449 --> 00:37:17.389 He can never know who I am. 879 00:37:17.489 --> 00:37:20.389 Was. Am. We are living in a web of lies. 880 00:37:20.489 --> 00:37:21.829 Guys, this is not... 881 00:37:21.929 --> 00:37:23.869 He has got her frazzled. 882 00:37:23.969 --> 00:37:25.709 -I'm not frazzled! -Ow! 883 00:37:25.809 --> 00:37:28.109 I have got a book to sell and a farm to save, 884 00:37:28.209 --> 00:37:30.509 and if I don't sell the book, we don't save the farm. 885 00:37:30.609 --> 00:37:32.629 So get serious about this, fellas. Get off me! 886 00:37:32.729 --> 00:37:34.549 (EMMY BREATHES HEAVILY) 887 00:37:34.649 --> 00:37:36.649 (EMMY EXHALES HEAVILY) 888 00:37:41.970 --> 00:37:43.550 MILES: Oh, God. 889 00:37:43.650 --> 00:37:45.650 Can you pass me that knife? 890 00:37:48.690 --> 00:37:50.150 That's not a knife. 891 00:37:50.250 --> 00:37:51.950 (METALLIC BLADE SINGS AS IT'S PULLED OUT) 892 00:37:52.050 --> 00:37:54.130 That's a knife. 893 00:37:55.810 --> 00:37:57.190 -Fig Tree Fizz! -Oh, great. 894 00:37:57.290 --> 00:38:00.150 OK. Right. Here we go. 895 00:38:00.250 --> 00:38:02.230 Very special concoction right here. 896 00:38:02.330 --> 00:38:04.710 Won't get it anywhere else in the world. Here you go. 897 00:38:04.810 --> 00:38:05.910 -Thank you. -Lovely. 898 00:38:06.010 --> 00:38:08.010 -Love it. -Yes. 899 00:38:08.530 --> 00:38:11.110 So when do we get to see the rest of the fabulous farm? 900 00:38:11.210 --> 00:38:12.591 Oh, um... 901 00:38:12.691 --> 00:38:14.071 You ever seen a pregnant cow? 902 00:38:14.171 --> 00:38:15.551 -Oh. -DAVID: Dolly. 903 00:38:15.651 --> 00:38:17.431 She's due any minute. 904 00:38:17.531 --> 00:38:19.151 You will adore it! 905 00:38:19.251 --> 00:38:23.671 It is all fabulously magical witnessing the circle of life 906 00:38:23.771 --> 00:38:25.511 through Dolly's heaving belly. 907 00:38:25.611 --> 00:38:27.751 Miles...darling. 908 00:38:27.851 --> 00:38:29.191 Actually, uh... (CHUCKLES) 909 00:38:29.291 --> 00:38:31.751 (BROAD AUSSIE ACCENT) ..I've got some, uh, fences to fix, 910 00:38:31.851 --> 00:38:33.991 some sheep to shear, some paddocks to plough 911 00:38:34.091 --> 00:38:35.391 while you blokes have your fun. 912 00:38:35.491 --> 00:38:36.551 -(LAUGHS) -Ow. 913 00:38:36.651 --> 00:38:37.711 Yes, we're gonna have some... 914 00:38:37.811 --> 00:38:38.831 -'Bye, darling. -'Bye, hon. 915 00:38:38.931 --> 00:38:40.631 Well, I've got my, uh... 916 00:38:40.731 --> 00:38:43.371 I guess it's just the three of us, then. 917 00:38:44.892 --> 00:38:46.912 (ROOSTER CROWS) 918 00:38:47.012 --> 00:38:48.472 (BIRDSONG) 919 00:38:48.572 --> 00:38:51.872 So...which one's Dolly? 920 00:38:51.972 --> 00:38:54.032 Uh, the pregnant one. 921 00:38:54.132 --> 00:38:57.072 Dolly! Hey, Dolly girl! 922 00:38:57.172 --> 00:38:59.172 Come to Mama. 923 00:38:59.852 --> 00:39:02.212 -Wait. Isn't that a bull? -Uh... 924 00:39:03.212 --> 00:39:04.992 Wait. Aren't they...both bulls? 925 00:39:05.092 --> 00:39:08.912 No! I think we have stared at bovine genitalia long enough! 926 00:39:09.012 --> 00:39:11.432 Let's go see the horses. Yes? Horses! 927 00:39:11.532 --> 00:39:13.592 Oh, go...go ahead. (LAUGHS) 928 00:39:13.692 --> 00:39:15.712 I found half a bar. (CHUCKLES) 929 00:39:15.812 --> 00:39:17.713 EMMY: Oh, don't you just love that... 930 00:39:17.813 --> 00:39:19.993 Oof! ..horsey smell? 931 00:39:20.093 --> 00:39:21.073 JACK: Hi. 932 00:39:21.173 --> 00:39:22.873 Hey, what's going on? 933 00:39:22.973 --> 00:39:24.753 -Hey, you. EMMY: Oh, wow. That's amazing. 934 00:39:24.853 --> 00:39:26.673 He doesn't usually let anyone but my mum...me 935 00:39:26.773 --> 00:39:28.313 get that close...to him. 936 00:39:28.413 --> 00:39:30.073 (CHUCKLES) What's this big guy's name? 937 00:39:30.173 --> 00:39:33.233 Elton. And this is Kiki. 938 00:39:33.333 --> 00:39:35.073 -Elton and Kiki? -Yeah! 939 00:39:35.173 --> 00:39:38.033 You know, like Elton John and Kiki Dee, famous, uh, duet. 940 00:39:38.133 --> 00:39:40.433 No. I don't think so. 941 00:39:40.533 --> 00:39:42.073 -No? -No. How does it go? 942 00:39:42.173 --> 00:39:43.753 -The duet? -Yes. Sing a bit. 943 00:39:43.853 --> 00:39:45.913 Oh, you want... You want me to sing a duet? 944 00:39:46.013 --> 00:39:47.593 Yeah. A bit. 945 00:39:47.693 --> 00:39:49.234 I'm really... (LAUGHS) ..not much of a singer. 946 00:39:49.334 --> 00:39:52.594 -No? -Um... Uh... Um... OK. 947 00:39:52.694 --> 00:39:54.954 (SINGS) ♪ Don't go breaking my heart 948 00:39:55.054 --> 00:39:56.554 ♪ I couldn't if I tried... ♪ 949 00:39:56.654 --> 00:39:58.794 -JACK: Uh-huh. "Don't..." -I'm sorry. 950 00:39:58.894 --> 00:40:00.514 -Yeah. -I'm not much of a singer. 951 00:40:00.614 --> 00:40:02.394 And I don't really have a lot of tune. 952 00:40:02.494 --> 00:40:04.874 "..go breaking my heart." 953 00:40:04.974 --> 00:40:06.554 Ha ha! 954 00:40:06.654 --> 00:40:08.434 -"Take the weight off of me." -Oh, yeah. 955 00:40:08.534 --> 00:40:10.194 I see what you're doing. You got me. 956 00:40:10.294 --> 00:40:12.854 "Honey, when I knock on your door..."? 957 00:40:15.014 --> 00:40:16.714 "I gave you my key." 958 00:40:16.814 --> 00:40:18.814 (BOTH LAUGH) 959 00:40:21.255 --> 00:40:23.475 I'm sorry. You...you just look so familiar. 960 00:40:23.575 --> 00:40:25.875 I...I feel like we've met. 961 00:40:25.975 --> 00:40:28.755 Oh, no! Uh-uh. 962 00:40:28.855 --> 00:40:30.435 'Cause I live here on a farm and... 963 00:40:30.535 --> 00:40:33.835 ..you live in, um, New Nyo... New York, New York. 964 00:40:33.935 --> 00:40:35.935 Yeah. 965 00:40:36.895 --> 00:40:38.395 Come on! 966 00:40:38.495 --> 00:40:40.115 Come back, please! 967 00:40:40.215 --> 00:40:41.955 Oh! 968 00:40:42.055 --> 00:40:44.055 Oh, good. 969 00:40:45.615 --> 00:40:47.195 A little help! 970 00:40:47.295 --> 00:40:50.415 A deranged child is trying to kill me. 971 00:40:51.935 --> 00:40:53.076 Hello. 972 00:40:53.176 --> 00:40:54.796 Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! 973 00:40:54.896 --> 00:40:57.156 Who are you people? What are you doing on private property? 974 00:40:57.256 --> 00:40:58.516 Do you know this girl? 975 00:40:58.616 --> 00:41:00.436 Uh, yes, of course I know her. 976 00:41:00.536 --> 00:41:02.916 -I don't know you! -JACK: Ha ha! 977 00:41:03.016 --> 00:41:04.596 -Oh, this is the daughter. -What? 978 00:41:04.696 --> 00:41:06.436 The one in your book with the anger issues. 979 00:41:06.536 --> 00:41:08.196 You thought my daughter had anger issues? 980 00:41:08.296 --> 00:41:10.196 She's written that way, no? 981 00:41:10.296 --> 00:41:11.876 Ah, yes, of course it's my daughter! 982 00:41:11.976 --> 00:41:14.276 You will not take that tone with your mummy, young lady! 983 00:41:14.376 --> 00:41:15.996 Now, put that pitchfork down. 984 00:41:16.096 --> 00:41:18.636 These are the guests I told you were coming for Christmas. 985 00:41:18.736 --> 00:41:20.156 You're not my mother! 986 00:41:20.256 --> 00:41:23.196 Oh! Little Emmy took a horse kick to the face 987 00:41:23.296 --> 00:41:24.436 a few years back. 988 00:41:24.536 --> 00:41:25.957 She hasn't been the same since. 989 00:41:26.057 --> 00:41:27.077 I'm Violet. 990 00:41:27.177 --> 00:41:28.597 See? Memory is totally shot. 991 00:41:28.697 --> 00:41:29.957 -Oh. -Quite heartbreaking, actually. 992 00:41:30.057 --> 00:41:32.237 Alright, darling, if you want us to call you Violet, 993 00:41:32.337 --> 00:41:33.517 we'll call you Violet. 994 00:41:33.617 --> 00:41:37.597 -One more step... -You're acting crazy, darling. 995 00:41:37.697 --> 00:41:40.597 I'm not the crazy one, lady! I come here to feed the horses. 996 00:41:40.697 --> 00:41:41.997 (WHISPERS) Listen to me. 997 00:41:42.097 --> 00:41:44.437 Just go along with it and I'll give you anything you want. 998 00:41:44.537 --> 00:41:45.717 (EMMY LAUGHS FALSELY) 999 00:41:45.817 --> 00:41:46.997 -Like money? -Yes. 1000 00:41:47.097 --> 00:41:49.137 Just go with it, OK? Please. 1001 00:41:50.737 --> 00:41:52.357 Oh, Mummy, I didn't recognise you 1002 00:41:52.457 --> 00:41:55.117 on account of that horse kick to my face a few years back. 1003 00:41:55.217 --> 00:41:56.957 -Ohh! -I want the money in cash. 1004 00:41:57.057 --> 00:41:59.058 And I want it in writing. 1005 00:41:59.618 --> 00:42:03.318 Well, step-dada Miles will be so glad 1006 00:42:03.418 --> 00:42:05.358 you came back from your sleepover 1007 00:42:05.458 --> 00:42:08.138 and, uh, are spending Christmas with us after all! 1008 00:42:09.138 --> 00:42:11.078 VIOLET: Hey! Stop it. Hands off. 1009 00:42:11.178 --> 00:42:12.918 -EMMY: Go on! -Quit it! 1010 00:42:13.018 --> 00:42:16.358 -Whose devil child is this? -DAVID: Hi, Violet. 1011 00:42:16.458 --> 00:42:19.158 This is Rita Hay's daughter from two properties down. 1012 00:42:19.258 --> 00:42:21.758 -And we pay her to farmhand. -EMMY: Oh! 1013 00:42:21.858 --> 00:42:23.198 Well, your little farmhand 1014 00:42:23.298 --> 00:42:24.998 almost blew our entire operation. 1015 00:42:25.098 --> 00:42:26.198 -Operation? -Yeah. 1016 00:42:26.298 --> 00:42:28.958 There some kind of spy thing going down? 1017 00:42:29.058 --> 00:42:31.239 Because I can keep a secret. 1018 00:42:31.339 --> 00:42:32.559 EMMY: I need a drink. 1019 00:42:32.659 --> 00:42:34.199 Hey, what's with crazy lady's accent? 1020 00:42:34.299 --> 00:42:36.439 -Remember lovely Clementine? -Yeah. 1021 00:42:36.539 --> 00:42:37.559 That's her offspring. 1022 00:42:37.659 --> 00:42:40.159 Oh, sad sack New Yorker. 1023 00:42:40.259 --> 00:42:41.799 Who called me that? Who called me that? 1024 00:42:41.899 --> 00:42:44.199 Well, whoever it is, she owes me cash. 1025 00:42:44.299 --> 00:42:45.439 EMMY: Yeah! 1026 00:42:45.539 --> 00:42:48.519 Because country bumpkin Wednesday Addams here 1027 00:42:48.619 --> 00:42:52.279 now has London & London thinking she's me...her...my daughter, 1028 00:42:52.379 --> 00:42:55.439 who should be called Emmy and is now named Violet. 1029 00:42:55.539 --> 00:42:57.539 You're the one who said it. 1030 00:42:58.299 --> 00:42:59.439 Wait a second. 1031 00:42:59.539 --> 00:43:01.519 Could we borrow her for a couple of days? 1032 00:43:01.619 --> 00:43:03.640 -VIOLET: Borrow me? -MILES: Um... 1033 00:43:03.740 --> 00:43:05.280 Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. 1034 00:43:05.380 --> 00:43:08.240 Would your parents mind if you weren't with them for Christmas, 1035 00:43:08.340 --> 00:43:10.400 if you were with us, would they miss you? 1036 00:43:10.500 --> 00:43:12.560 Lady, I'm number four of nine kids. 1037 00:43:12.660 --> 00:43:14.400 No-one would even notice I'm gone. 1038 00:43:14.500 --> 00:43:16.840 -Yes! -I'll give her parents a call. 1039 00:43:16.940 --> 00:43:18.440 EMMY: Great. It's settled then. Listen. 1040 00:43:18.540 --> 00:43:23.200 Sweetie, all you're gonna have to do is play make-believe. 1041 00:43:23.300 --> 00:43:26.480 Pretend that I'm your Australian mummy 1042 00:43:26.580 --> 00:43:29.480 and Miles here is your step-dada! 1043 00:43:29.580 --> 00:43:31.880 -Do you think you can do that? -Yeah, I can do that. 1044 00:43:31.980 --> 00:43:32.920 -Great! -For $1,000. 1045 00:43:33.020 --> 00:43:34.040 You're kidding? 1046 00:43:34.140 --> 00:43:35.841 You said you could give me anything I want. 1047 00:43:35.941 --> 00:43:38.561 I can get a lot of things I want for $1,000. 1048 00:43:38.661 --> 00:43:40.561 EMMY: You are a child, right? 1049 00:43:40.661 --> 00:43:42.601 Not a lawyer with a growth deficiency? 1050 00:43:42.701 --> 00:43:44.081 I can just go home, you know. 1051 00:43:44.181 --> 00:43:46.181 That's fine. You're a little... 1052 00:43:47.061 --> 00:43:47.961 500. 1053 00:43:48.061 --> 00:43:49.761 -850. -550. 1054 00:43:49.861 --> 00:43:50.841 700. 1055 00:43:50.941 --> 00:43:53.241 Deal. How old are you, anyway? 1056 00:43:53.341 --> 00:43:55.921 -I'm 10 and three quarters. -Actually, you just turned 12. 1057 00:43:56.021 --> 00:43:58.281 Happy birthday. You're getting a wildly inappropriate cash gift. 1058 00:43:58.381 --> 00:44:00.981 Put the hat back on! You look like Oliver Twist. 1059 00:44:05.701 --> 00:44:06.962 One... 1060 00:44:07.062 --> 00:44:08.922 ..two...three! 1061 00:44:09.022 --> 00:44:10.202 (ALL CHEER) 1062 00:44:10.302 --> 00:44:12.122 There we go. 1063 00:44:12.222 --> 00:44:13.922 Merry Christmas. 1064 00:44:14.022 --> 00:44:15.442 -VIOLET: David. -EMMY: Merry Christmas. 1065 00:44:15.542 --> 00:44:16.922 -MILES: Darling. -Hi. 1066 00:44:17.022 --> 00:44:19.322 -(MILES CHUCKLES) -Dig in, everybody. 1067 00:44:19.422 --> 00:44:21.362 (CHATTER) 1068 00:44:21.462 --> 00:44:24.042 -MILES: Want some more salmon? -DAVID: Thank you, darling. Uh! 1069 00:44:24.142 --> 00:44:26.722 (CHATTER CONTINUES) 1070 00:44:26.822 --> 00:44:29.202 EMMY: Yeah. Lots of chilli, chilli, chillies in there. 1071 00:44:29.302 --> 00:44:32.602 (CHATTER CONTINUES) 1072 00:44:32.702 --> 00:44:34.362 EMMY: Brussels sprouts. 1073 00:44:34.462 --> 00:44:36.282 DAVID: Who would like some more tomatoes? 1074 00:44:36.382 --> 00:44:38.122 I've grown them all myself. 1075 00:44:38.222 --> 00:44:39.763 -MILES: They're lovely. -DAVID: I absolutely... 1076 00:44:39.863 --> 00:44:43.363 It's en... No, no, no. That...that's quite enough. 1077 00:44:43.463 --> 00:44:46.903 (CHATTER CONTINUES) 1078 00:44:56.543 --> 00:45:00.723 So, tell me, American friends... 1079 00:45:00.823 --> 00:45:02.563 -(CHUCKLES) -..do you, um... 1080 00:45:02.663 --> 00:45:05.483 ..visit the homes of prospective authors 1081 00:45:05.583 --> 00:45:07.643 on the other side of the planet often 1082 00:45:07.743 --> 00:45:11.444 or is this a... a special occasion? 1083 00:45:11.544 --> 00:45:13.884 Just standard business practice. 1084 00:45:13.984 --> 00:45:15.244 Oh. 1085 00:45:15.344 --> 00:45:17.044 JACK: We love to...to see all our authors 1086 00:45:17.144 --> 00:45:18.604 before we...we publish them. 1087 00:45:18.704 --> 00:45:21.884 Oh, I had to see the Clementine magic for myself. 1088 00:45:21.984 --> 00:45:24.564 JACK: Yeah. Uh, launching a brand is, uh... 1089 00:45:24.664 --> 00:45:26.484 ..it's a big commitment. 1090 00:45:26.584 --> 00:45:30.244 Oh, uh, I'm a...brand now. 1091 00:45:30.344 --> 00:45:33.764 Um, yeah, I mean, if everything goes the way we hope it does, 1092 00:45:33.864 --> 00:45:37.164 talking about launches in every major market, 1093 00:45:37.264 --> 00:45:39.604 social media blitz, the whole kit and caboodle. 1094 00:45:39.704 --> 00:45:42.804 Wow! All from...one book. 1095 00:45:42.904 --> 00:45:44.645 Maybe even a TV show! (CHUCKLES) 1096 00:45:44.745 --> 00:45:48.485 Oh, my son doesn't champion titles often, 1097 00:45:48.585 --> 00:45:52.245 so his sudden interest in all things...you... (LAUGHS) 1098 00:45:52.345 --> 00:45:55.245 ..that's what has me truly intrigued. 1099 00:45:55.345 --> 00:45:58.845 Yeah. Listen, it's a very special book, Clementine. 1100 00:45:58.945 --> 00:46:02.565 Oh, my God, this is so boring. 1101 00:46:02.665 --> 00:46:05.605 -(LAUGHS) Darling! Darling... -(JACK LAUGHS) 1102 00:46:05.705 --> 00:46:07.445 VIOLET: Why don't we talk about something interesting? 1103 00:46:07.545 --> 00:46:11.145 Like global warming or carbon footprints. 1104 00:46:12.625 --> 00:46:14.045 I bet you own a few boats. 1105 00:46:14.145 --> 00:46:15.566 (LAUGHS) 1106 00:46:15.666 --> 00:46:17.166 -Um... (LAUGHS) -One. 1107 00:46:17.266 --> 00:46:19.726 -And it's a yacht. -Touché. 1108 00:46:19.826 --> 00:46:22.606 Hey, darling, don't you have homework to do? 1109 00:46:22.706 --> 00:46:24.766 It's Christmas Eve Eve. There is no school. 1110 00:46:24.866 --> 00:46:27.246 -Ah, right, no school. -VIOLET: Oh! 1111 00:46:27.346 --> 00:46:29.566 Look! Mistletoe! 1112 00:46:29.666 --> 00:46:31.086 EMMY: That's not mistletoe, darling. 1113 00:46:31.186 --> 00:46:33.086 -That's a weed. -(JACK LAUGHS) 1114 00:46:33.186 --> 00:46:35.806 You and step-dada should kiss. 1115 00:46:35.906 --> 00:46:38.046 Oh... 1116 00:46:38.146 --> 00:46:40.686 -ELLISON: Oh. -No, we don't have to kiss. 1117 00:46:40.786 --> 00:46:44.886 Don't let me stop you. (LAUGHS) 'Tis the season. 1118 00:46:44.986 --> 00:46:47.767 MILES: Oh, yeah! Ha ha! 1119 00:46:47.867 --> 00:46:50.967 -Get it up ya! -OK. (LAUGHS) 1120 00:46:51.067 --> 00:46:52.247 Go, Rover. 1121 00:46:52.347 --> 00:46:56.667 MILES: Hmm! (MOANS PASSIONATELY) 1122 00:46:57.667 --> 00:46:58.727 (CHUCKLES) 1123 00:46:58.827 --> 00:47:00.887 EMMY: Ohhh! 1124 00:47:00.987 --> 00:47:02.767 -(VIOLET CHUCKLES) -(MILES SIGHS) 1125 00:47:02.867 --> 00:47:04.767 -Wasn't that lovely? -(EMMY CHUCKLES) 1126 00:47:04.867 --> 00:47:06.887 You guys are such the perfect match. 1127 00:47:06.987 --> 00:47:10.327 Oh, thank you, darling. Makes us so happy to hear you say that. 1128 00:47:10.427 --> 00:47:12.667 (DAVID CLEARS THROAT) 1129 00:47:13.667 --> 00:47:17.107 I'm just going to go and check on the cheese platters. 1130 00:47:21.348 --> 00:47:23.348 -Ohh. -DAVID: Miles. 1131 00:47:24.028 --> 00:47:26.368 -Got it. (CHUCKLES) -Yeah. 1132 00:47:26.468 --> 00:47:28.768 Yes. Go help him, sweetheart. (SIGHS) 1133 00:47:28.868 --> 00:47:31.308 Aren't we feeling that Christmas spirit now? 1134 00:47:32.948 --> 00:47:34.248 (DAVID EXHALES DEEPLY) 1135 00:47:34.348 --> 00:47:36.768 -Are you OK? -Yeah, yeah, I'm fine. 1136 00:47:36.868 --> 00:47:38.848 -Are you OK? -Yeah. Yeah! 1137 00:47:38.948 --> 00:47:41.888 I just realised, this epiphany, 1138 00:47:41.988 --> 00:47:45.128 that we're living in our favourite movie. 1139 00:47:45.228 --> 00:47:46.888 -'Beaches'? -No! 1140 00:47:46.988 --> 00:47:48.448 'The Birdcage'! 1141 00:47:48.548 --> 00:47:49.928 -Oh! -It's the same! 1142 00:47:50.028 --> 00:47:51.888 It's like I'm Robin Williams. 1143 00:47:51.988 --> 00:47:53.409 I'm Nathan Lane! 1144 00:47:53.509 --> 00:47:54.889 We need an Agador. 1145 00:47:54.989 --> 00:47:56.329 Oh! Ohh. 1146 00:47:56.429 --> 00:48:00.049 You were very...very masculine out there. It was good. 1147 00:48:00.149 --> 00:48:02.309 -(FAN WHIRRS) -(SNORING) 1148 00:48:07.509 --> 00:48:09.509 (MILES SNORES) 1149 00:48:10.829 --> 00:48:12.889 (MILES BREATHES DEEPLY) 1150 00:48:12.989 --> 00:48:15.109 (MILES SNORES) 1151 00:48:17.949 --> 00:48:20.149 (MILES MAKES GUTTURAL NOISES) 1152 00:48:23.629 --> 00:48:25.050 (LAUGHS) 1153 00:48:25.150 --> 00:48:27.250 Yeah. 1154 00:48:27.350 --> 00:48:28.850 (ARM PLOPS) 1155 00:48:28.950 --> 00:48:31.310 (MILES SNORES) 1156 00:48:32.310 --> 00:48:34.790 (MAKES GUTTURAL NOISES) 1157 00:48:40.990 --> 00:48:42.450 (CRICKETS SING) 1158 00:48:42.550 --> 00:48:43.730 (DOOR SHUTS) 1159 00:48:43.830 --> 00:48:46.430 (LIGHT MUSIC) 1160 00:49:13.791 --> 00:49:15.791 Ohh. 1161 00:49:18.071 --> 00:49:20.191 Oh, wow. 1162 00:49:34.272 --> 00:49:35.372 -(BRANCH SNAPS) -Whoa! 1163 00:49:35.472 --> 00:49:37.492 -Oh! -(SCREAMS) 1164 00:49:37.592 --> 00:49:39.592 JACK: What are you...? Ugh! 1165 00:49:41.072 --> 00:49:43.412 -(EMMY SCREAMS) -Oi! Why did you just tackle me? 1166 00:49:43.512 --> 00:49:45.412 What are you doing here? 1167 00:49:45.512 --> 00:49:47.512 What are you doing here? It's my lake! 1168 00:49:48.672 --> 00:49:50.572 I remembered that bit in your book 1169 00:49:50.672 --> 00:49:52.732 where you were talking about swimming with the yabbies. 1170 00:49:52.832 --> 00:49:54.052 I couldn't sleep. 1171 00:49:54.152 --> 00:49:55.492 -Oh! -Are you OK? 1172 00:49:55.592 --> 00:49:57.532 Yes. Right. That's what I'm doing here too. 1173 00:49:57.632 --> 00:49:59.812 -I was very hot. Couldn't sleep. -(LAUGHS) 1174 00:49:59.912 --> 00:50:01.813 And I thought I'd take a swim with the yabbies. 1175 00:50:01.913 --> 00:50:03.493 -I do have one question, though. -Yeah? 1176 00:50:03.593 --> 00:50:05.213 What the hell is a yabby? 1177 00:50:05.313 --> 00:50:08.973 Oh! Well, uh, a yabby is like a cousin to the crab, 1178 00:50:09.073 --> 00:50:10.813 only its parents are also cousins, 1179 00:50:10.913 --> 00:50:12.933 so you don't really talk about it, I guess. 1180 00:50:13.033 --> 00:50:14.773 Oh. Are they dangerous? 1181 00:50:14.873 --> 00:50:16.373 You should work off the assumption 1182 00:50:16.473 --> 00:50:18.693 that everything in Australia is dangerous. 1183 00:50:18.793 --> 00:50:20.133 Sounds fun. 1184 00:50:20.233 --> 00:50:22.233 -Ha. Yeah. -(LAUGHS) 1185 00:50:23.153 --> 00:50:26.453 God, that's something your book really doesn't capture. 1186 00:50:26.553 --> 00:50:27.893 -What? -That sky. 1187 00:50:27.993 --> 00:50:31.433 -Look at it. It's amazing. -Ohh. Yeah. 1188 00:50:32.433 --> 00:50:35.454 I forgot how perfect it is out here at night. 1189 00:50:35.554 --> 00:50:38.214 How can you forget? You get this every single night. 1190 00:50:38.314 --> 00:50:40.894 No, I forgot what it must look like 1191 00:50:40.994 --> 00:50:44.934 to someone who's n-never seen it before. 1192 00:50:45.034 --> 00:50:47.254 Yeah, you don't get that in Manhattan, that's for sure. 1193 00:50:47.354 --> 00:50:49.974 Right? Just constant car horns and the smell of urine! 1194 00:50:50.074 --> 00:50:52.294 -Oh, shit! Something bit me! -Ooh, what? What?! 1195 00:50:52.394 --> 00:50:53.774 -Yeah, yeah. -What do you mean? 1196 00:50:53.874 --> 00:50:54.774 -Oh! Oh! -Oh, where? 1197 00:50:54.874 --> 00:50:56.054 -Ah! Ah! Everywhere! -(SCREAMS) 1198 00:50:56.154 --> 00:50:57.334 Grab your crotch! 1199 00:50:57.434 --> 00:50:58.814 -Grab your crotch! -What? Why? 1200 00:50:58.914 --> 00:51:01.694 Because once they latch on, they're impossible to get off. 1201 00:51:01.794 --> 00:51:03.574 -What is? -The yabbies! 1202 00:51:03.674 --> 00:51:04.774 (SCREAMS) Shit! 1203 00:51:04.874 --> 00:51:06.375 Let's get out! Come on! 1204 00:51:06.475 --> 00:51:08.175 -Ow! My neck! -Which way? Which way? Neck? 1205 00:51:08.275 --> 00:51:10.015 EMMY: No, the other way! Go! Go! 1206 00:51:10.115 --> 00:51:12.115 -Yeah. Oh. -(JACK SHUDDERS) 1207 00:51:13.275 --> 00:51:15.975 Here. Here. Oh. 1208 00:51:16.075 --> 00:51:17.815 You go first. I can support you. 1209 00:51:17.915 --> 00:51:19.815 -(EMMY SCREAMS) -(RIP!) 1210 00:51:19.915 --> 00:51:23.175 Oh, my gosh, was that your hamstring or your pyjamas? 1211 00:51:23.275 --> 00:51:25.375 -I don't know. Maybe both. -(JACK LAUGHS) 1212 00:51:25.475 --> 00:51:27.935 -No. I can't... -I've got an idea. 1213 00:51:28.035 --> 00:51:30.215 -(GROANS) -Don't do it. Don't fall on me. 1214 00:51:30.315 --> 00:51:32.095 -Don't fall on me! (SCREAMS) -(JACK SHOUTS) 1215 00:51:32.195 --> 00:51:34.255 -(EMMY SPLUTTERS) -(JACK LAUGHS) 1216 00:51:34.355 --> 00:51:36.715 This is worse than the yabbies. 1217 00:51:37.715 --> 00:51:38.856 -EMMY: Oh! -JACK: Ooh. 1218 00:51:38.956 --> 00:51:40.456 OK. Right. 1219 00:51:40.556 --> 00:51:41.496 Feeling the breeze? 1220 00:51:41.596 --> 00:51:43.736 What? 1221 00:51:43.836 --> 00:51:45.936 -Do not look. Just be a gent... -Alright. 1222 00:51:46.036 --> 00:51:47.776 -Please avert your eyes. -I'm not looking. 1223 00:51:47.876 --> 00:51:49.016 I'm married. 1224 00:51:49.116 --> 00:51:50.576 (LAUGHS) Not looking. 1225 00:51:50.676 --> 00:51:52.376 EMMY: Don't look! 1226 00:51:52.476 --> 00:51:53.856 (GENTLE MUSIC) 1227 00:51:53.956 --> 00:51:56.736 (NATIVE ANIMAL SOUNDS) 1228 00:51:56.836 --> 00:51:58.176 (GREGORY CLUCKS) 1229 00:51:58.276 --> 00:52:00.096 (DOOR OPENS) 1230 00:52:00.196 --> 00:52:01.696 (CROWS) 1231 00:52:01.796 --> 00:52:03.456 What? 1232 00:52:03.556 --> 00:52:04.576 Morning, sunshine. 1233 00:52:04.676 --> 00:52:05.696 Oh! 1234 00:52:05.796 --> 00:52:07.456 Is that a hickey? 1235 00:52:07.556 --> 00:52:08.976 -What? No! -DAVID: From Jack?! 1236 00:52:09.076 --> 00:52:11.857 -No. It's a yabby welt. -In the bathroom? 1237 00:52:11.957 --> 00:52:13.857 Why are you asleep in the bathtub? 1238 00:52:13.957 --> 00:52:17.497 Uh...because you failed to mention my husband's snoring! 1239 00:52:17.597 --> 00:52:18.977 -Did I? -It's my larynx. 1240 00:52:19.077 --> 00:52:20.617 That's why I'm good at yodelling. 1241 00:52:20.717 --> 00:52:22.537 Yes, he was gifted with a wide larynx. 1242 00:52:22.637 --> 00:52:24.497 No-one likes your larynx, Miles! 1243 00:52:24.597 --> 00:52:26.697 It...it...it... I need to go back to bed. 1244 00:52:26.797 --> 00:52:28.137 -(THUMP!) -Oh. Oh! 1245 00:52:28.237 --> 00:52:29.977 (GREGORY CROWS) 1246 00:52:30.077 --> 00:52:32.117 (GENTLE MUSIC) 1247 00:52:34.357 --> 00:52:36.357 (GROANING) 1248 00:52:37.077 --> 00:52:38.817 (GROANING) 1249 00:52:38.917 --> 00:52:41.217 Good, good. Got it. That's good. 1250 00:52:41.317 --> 00:52:42.738 -(GROANS) -VIOLET: Careful. 1251 00:52:42.838 --> 00:52:44.858 Alright. OK. 1252 00:52:44.958 --> 00:52:47.078 How's it lookin'? 1253 00:52:48.078 --> 00:52:50.698 Oh! Hey! Yep. 1254 00:52:50.798 --> 00:52:52.938 Good and raring and...and ready to go. 1255 00:52:53.038 --> 00:52:55.098 Alright. Let's go. (CLICKS) 1256 00:52:55.198 --> 00:52:56.858 (HORSE WHINNIES) 1257 00:52:56.958 --> 00:52:59.378 OK. Get here. Get... 1258 00:52:59.478 --> 00:53:02.378 This, uh...might surprise you, but I'm not a very good rider. 1259 00:53:02.478 --> 00:53:04.418 I haven't ridden a horse since I was your age. 1260 00:53:04.518 --> 00:53:06.378 -I'm not surprised. -I need some fast reminders. 1261 00:53:06.478 --> 00:53:08.418 OK? Just a few pointers to get me through. 1262 00:53:08.518 --> 00:53:10.378 Say 'yah' a lot and don't fall off. 1263 00:53:10.478 --> 00:53:11.978 -Yah? Yah. -Yah. 1264 00:53:12.078 --> 00:53:14.378 YAH! 1265 00:53:14.478 --> 00:53:16.379 -(HORSE GRUNTS) -I think you're scaring him. 1266 00:53:16.479 --> 00:53:18.659 I think you need to help me push him or something. 1267 00:53:18.759 --> 00:53:20.759 -Come on. (CLICKS) Yah! -I'm not pushing him. 1268 00:53:23.599 --> 00:53:27.579 (PHONE BUZZES) 1269 00:53:27.679 --> 00:53:29.099 (SIGHS) 1270 00:53:29.199 --> 00:53:30.899 -(PHONE BUZZES) -(SCOFFS) 1271 00:53:30.999 --> 00:53:32.999 Nope. 1272 00:53:34.439 --> 00:53:36.959 Hey! Come on. (CLICKS) 1273 00:53:38.719 --> 00:53:40.779 (KISSES) 1274 00:53:40.879 --> 00:53:42.879 MILES: Come on. 1275 00:53:46.079 --> 00:53:47.500 Hey. (CLICKS) Go. 1276 00:53:47.600 --> 00:53:49.620 (HORSE SNORTS) 1277 00:53:49.720 --> 00:53:50.780 (EMMY CLICKS) 1278 00:53:50.880 --> 00:53:52.980 Ooh! Come on, horsey. 1279 00:53:53.080 --> 00:53:56.100 Horsey, horsey, horsey. (CLICKS) 1280 00:53:56.200 --> 00:53:57.620 Whoo! 1281 00:53:57.720 --> 00:54:00.940 Ooh-ooh-ooh. Whoo! (LAUGHS) 1282 00:54:01.040 --> 00:54:04.140 -Are you OK? -Oh, yes. I love horseriding. 1283 00:54:04.240 --> 00:54:07.060 This is just my, uh, preferred method of saddle. 1284 00:54:07.160 --> 00:54:10.980 You seem to know your way around a...a horse really well. 1285 00:54:11.080 --> 00:54:13.860 Yeah, well, Mum and Dad divorced when I was young 1286 00:54:13.960 --> 00:54:15.780 and they thought it'd be a great idea 1287 00:54:15.880 --> 00:54:18.980 to whisk me off to the most prestigious boarding school 1288 00:54:19.080 --> 00:54:20.021 money can buy. 1289 00:54:20.121 --> 00:54:21.381 Oh! 1290 00:54:21.481 --> 00:54:23.621 Fit for kings and queens, you know. 1291 00:54:23.721 --> 00:54:25.661 -Well, that's fancy. (CHUCKLES) -Yeah. 1292 00:54:25.761 --> 00:54:27.341 Continue. 1293 00:54:27.441 --> 00:54:29.381 Well, as it turns out, um, 1294 00:54:29.481 --> 00:54:33.381 co-curricular equestrian is actually a rather effective 1295 00:54:33.481 --> 00:54:35.621 undervalued way of meeting girls. 1296 00:54:35.721 --> 00:54:38.261 -Ha! -So when life gives you lemons. 1297 00:54:38.361 --> 00:54:40.361 You become a charming playboy. 1298 00:54:41.161 --> 00:54:42.581 You think I'm charming? 1299 00:54:42.681 --> 00:54:45.761 No. I didn't...say you were charming. I just... 1300 00:54:46.761 --> 00:54:48.341 You know you're charming. 1301 00:54:48.441 --> 00:54:50.601 Oopsie! Hey, now. 1302 00:54:51.761 --> 00:54:54.022 -Oh, wow! Look at the lake. -Oh, yes! (CLICKS) 1303 00:54:54.122 --> 00:54:55.902 Come on, come on. Go! 1304 00:54:56.002 --> 00:54:57.822 Yah! Come on. 1305 00:54:57.922 --> 00:54:59.922 EMMY: Yah! Come on! 1306 00:55:01.522 --> 00:55:03.822 -Come on! Yah! Yah! Yah! -(HORSE SNORTS) 1307 00:55:03.922 --> 00:55:06.422 No, no, no, no. Not too fast. Alright. Good! 1308 00:55:06.522 --> 00:55:09.102 (BIRDSONG) 1309 00:55:09.202 --> 00:55:14.502 JACK: God, this place! You can just really breathe here, huh? 1310 00:55:14.602 --> 00:55:16.382 EMMY: So you're not missing your Starbucks yet? 1311 00:55:16.482 --> 00:55:17.822 JACK: Oh, please! 1312 00:55:17.922 --> 00:55:20.342 I get my coffee flown in from Italy every morning. 1313 00:55:20.442 --> 00:55:22.642 Oh. Seriously? 1314 00:55:23.842 --> 00:55:24.823 Come on. 1315 00:55:24.923 --> 00:55:26.583 Ah. Huh! Well, with you... 1316 00:55:26.683 --> 00:55:28.943 -(JACK LAUGHS) -..I couldn't really ever know. 1317 00:55:29.043 --> 00:55:31.343 (JACK CHUCKLES) No, I was thinking after all this is over, 1318 00:55:31.443 --> 00:55:33.623 maybe I'd buy myself a little farm somewhere 1319 00:55:33.723 --> 00:55:35.983 and get out of that city life for a while. 1320 00:55:36.083 --> 00:55:37.823 I mean, New York must be exciting, though. 1321 00:55:37.923 --> 00:55:39.903 Big business, big publishing. 1322 00:55:40.003 --> 00:55:41.823 -So... -Predictable. 1323 00:55:41.923 --> 00:55:44.263 -Really? -Oh, yeah. What's the phrase? 1324 00:55:44.363 --> 00:55:45.743 You know, on top of every mountain 1325 00:55:45.843 --> 00:55:46.943 there's just another mountain. 1326 00:55:47.043 --> 00:55:51.503 Uh...I don't think that is actually a phrase. 1327 00:55:51.603 --> 00:55:53.263 I think you just made that up. 1328 00:55:53.363 --> 00:55:55.223 Maybe. I might have made that up. (LAUGHS) 1329 00:55:55.323 --> 00:55:58.024 I don't know. You're the writer. I'm just the disappointment. 1330 00:55:58.124 --> 00:56:00.984 I'm sure nobody thinks you're a disappointment. 1331 00:56:01.084 --> 00:56:02.384 Uh, yeah. 1332 00:56:02.484 --> 00:56:03.824 They do. (CHUCKLES) 1333 00:56:03.924 --> 00:56:06.624 It's OK. I definitely earnt the reputation. 1334 00:56:06.724 --> 00:56:09.424 But finding you... 1335 00:56:09.524 --> 00:56:13.044 ..that's something very, very good. 1336 00:56:15.084 --> 00:56:16.864 Jack... 1337 00:56:16.964 --> 00:56:19.824 ..there's something I want to, um, tell you... 1338 00:56:19.924 --> 00:56:21.064 (VEHICLE APPROACHES) 1339 00:56:21.164 --> 00:56:22.824 ..and I think that, um... 1340 00:56:22.924 --> 00:56:24.224 ..it's important. 1341 00:56:24.324 --> 00:56:26.464 (HORN HONKS) 1342 00:56:26.564 --> 00:56:28.865 VIOLET: Quick! Dolly's gone into labour! 1343 00:56:28.965 --> 00:56:30.665 What?! 1344 00:56:30.765 --> 00:56:33.265 The bovine's about to blow, love! 1345 00:56:33.365 --> 00:56:35.365 Now?! 1346 00:56:36.125 --> 00:56:38.645 -The bovine's about to blow. -OK. 1347 00:56:41.205 --> 00:56:42.665 (DOLLY MOOS) 1348 00:56:42.765 --> 00:56:44.765 Shh, shh, shh, shh. 1349 00:56:48.205 --> 00:56:50.205 (JACK CHUCKLES) Oh. 1350 00:56:50.645 --> 00:56:51.985 How is she? 1351 00:56:52.085 --> 00:56:54.905 You asked for the full Fig Tree experience. 1352 00:56:55.005 --> 00:56:56.545 -(DOLLY MOOS) -Uh, Dolly's in pain. 1353 00:56:56.645 --> 00:56:58.665 The calf's legs are twisting. 1354 00:56:58.765 --> 00:57:00.946 But, um, if we all... 1355 00:57:01.046 --> 00:57:02.426 Come here. 1356 00:57:02.526 --> 00:57:05.706 ..work together, we can get this part over pretty quickly. 1357 00:57:05.806 --> 00:57:07.826 -(HESITANTLY) Mm-hm. -DAVID: Alright. Jack. 1358 00:57:07.926 --> 00:57:10.226 You look like you've seen a cervix or two in your time. 1359 00:57:10.326 --> 00:57:12.026 Would you mind joining me at the birthing end? 1360 00:57:12.126 --> 00:57:13.746 Uh... 1361 00:57:13.846 --> 00:57:15.306 (HESITANTLY) Yeah. 1362 00:57:15.406 --> 00:57:17.306 Clementine. 1363 00:57:17.406 --> 00:57:19.306 -You are our farm girl. -(DOLLY LOWS) 1364 00:57:19.406 --> 00:57:21.866 -Are your hands clean? -Cleaner than that. 1365 00:57:21.966 --> 00:57:23.826 -Put some gloves on. -Ooh. 1366 00:57:23.926 --> 00:57:25.926 DAVID: You're gonna have to help me pull. 1367 00:57:28.286 --> 00:57:31.226 (GAGS) God! There's hot steam! 1368 00:57:31.326 --> 00:57:33.427 -OK, we're breaching. -What?! 1369 00:57:33.527 --> 00:57:35.107 Oh, yeah. OK. Here we go. 1370 00:57:35.207 --> 00:57:36.827 Come on. I need you to be hands-in. 1371 00:57:36.927 --> 00:57:38.707 -What? Grab? -DAVID: That's it. Yeah. Grab. 1372 00:57:38.807 --> 00:57:40.507 -DAVID: Right. OK, on three. -We're pulling? 1373 00:57:40.607 --> 00:57:42.227 -(DOLLY MOOS) -Yeah, yeah, OK. Good. 1374 00:57:42.327 --> 00:57:44.467 -Yeah. You... -One, two, three! 1375 00:57:44.567 --> 00:57:46.587 PULL! 1376 00:57:46.687 --> 00:57:47.787 Oh! 1377 00:57:47.887 --> 00:57:50.187 -(SCREAMS) -(LIQUID SPLASHES) 1378 00:57:50.287 --> 00:57:51.667 (JACK CHUCKLES) 1379 00:57:51.767 --> 00:57:53.707 DAVID: Oh! Shh. Shh. Shh. Shh. 1380 00:57:53.807 --> 00:57:56.347 -JACK: Oh! (CHUCKLES) -Oh! Oh. 1381 00:57:56.447 --> 00:57:58.467 Hello! 1382 00:57:58.567 --> 00:58:00.707 -Good girl, good girl. -(DOLLY MOOS) 1383 00:58:00.807 --> 00:58:02.307 JACK: Ohh. 1384 00:58:02.407 --> 00:58:04.707 -Wow. -VIOLET: Oh, my gosh. 1385 00:58:04.807 --> 00:58:07.508 -She's so cute. -Hey. How are you? 1386 00:58:07.608 --> 00:58:09.428 -VIOLET: She's so slimy. -JACK: Yeah. 1387 00:58:09.528 --> 00:58:11.028 -(EMMY CHUCKLES) -VIOLET: Can I name her? 1388 00:58:11.128 --> 00:58:13.128 Sure. 1389 00:58:13.888 --> 00:58:15.988 -Marilyn Moo-roe. -(LAUGHS) 1390 00:58:16.088 --> 00:58:17.708 (JACK CHUCKLES) 1391 00:58:17.808 --> 00:58:20.588 Marilyn Moo-roe! (LAUGHS) 1392 00:58:20.688 --> 00:58:24.208 Welcome to Fig Tree Farm, Marilyn Moo-roe. 1393 00:58:26.808 --> 00:58:29.208 (CHATTER) 1394 00:58:31.328 --> 00:58:32.748 (JACK AND EMMY LAUGH) 1395 00:58:32.848 --> 00:58:34.348 EMMY: That was, um... 1396 00:58:34.448 --> 00:58:36.068 -Really special. -Yeah. 1397 00:58:36.168 --> 00:58:38.169 Yeah. It was. 1398 00:58:38.729 --> 00:58:40.989 Uh, Clementine, I think you've got a bit of... 1399 00:58:41.089 --> 00:58:42.589 ..afterbirth in your hair. 1400 00:58:42.689 --> 00:58:44.509 Oh! Oh... Ugh! Oh, God! 1401 00:58:44.609 --> 00:58:46.229 No, no. You still look beautif... Fine. 1402 00:58:46.329 --> 00:58:47.789 -Oh, that's so gross! -You look fine. 1403 00:58:47.889 --> 00:58:48.989 -It's gross! -(HORN HONKS) 1404 00:58:49.089 --> 00:58:51.089 So... What the...? 1405 00:58:55.009 --> 00:58:56.989 (SULTRY MUSIC) 1406 00:58:57.089 --> 00:58:59.829 Feliz Navidad, party people! 1407 00:58:59.929 --> 00:59:01.629 (AVALON SQUEALS) 1408 00:59:01.729 --> 00:59:02.789 (GIGGLES) 1409 00:59:02.889 --> 00:59:03.909 (JACK CHUCKLES AWKWARDLY) 1410 00:59:04.009 --> 00:59:05.149 Surprised, my pineapple? 1411 00:59:05.249 --> 00:59:06.429 Yeah. What are you doing here? 1412 00:59:06.529 --> 00:59:08.829 AVALON: I'm saving you, like I said I would. 1413 00:59:08.929 --> 00:59:10.110 Huh? 1414 00:59:10.210 --> 00:59:11.990 Did I mention that I still have your card number? 1415 00:59:12.090 --> 00:59:14.190 There may just be like a tiny charge for the car 1416 00:59:14.290 --> 00:59:15.750 and the trip to Bora Bora. 1417 00:59:15.850 --> 00:59:17.670 -The what? -Hi! 1418 00:59:17.770 --> 00:59:20.870 Hello, hello! I'm Avalon, Jack's girlfriend. 1419 00:59:20.970 --> 00:59:22.470 No, uh, not a couple, actually. 1420 00:59:22.570 --> 00:59:24.470 You must be the big-time author! 1421 00:59:24.570 --> 00:59:25.790 Hi! 1422 00:59:25.890 --> 00:59:28.550 Is your farm, like, 'Babe', the pig, the movie? 1423 00:59:28.650 --> 00:59:30.070 Are there pigs? 1424 00:59:30.170 --> 00:59:33.550 Uh... I... Yeah...yeah... No. 1425 00:59:33.650 --> 00:59:36.070 No, there are no...no...no pigs. 1426 00:59:36.170 --> 00:59:38.590 Oh! Bummer. Well, that's too bad. 1427 00:59:38.690 --> 00:59:41.470 You both look so festive in all that black. 1428 00:59:41.570 --> 00:59:44.751 Drinks, anyone? Fig Tree Fizz? 1429 00:59:44.851 --> 00:59:46.511 -AVALON: I am so sorry... -(MOUTHS) 1430 00:59:46.611 --> 00:59:48.071 ..to intrude, everyone. 1431 00:59:48.171 --> 00:59:50.751 It's just that, um, I really need Jackie's help. 1432 00:59:50.851 --> 00:59:54.671 Um...my grandmother is sick, you see, um... 1433 00:59:54.771 --> 00:59:57.111 -Oh. -(CRYING) Sorry. Sorry. 1434 00:59:57.211 --> 01:00:02.431 Um...she, uh...she ran out of her medication on vacation 1435 01:00:02.531 --> 01:00:04.671 in, um, Bora Bora. 1436 01:00:04.771 --> 01:00:07.951 Uh, and, uh, I have to go 1437 01:00:08.051 --> 01:00:12.031 and I really need, um...really need Jack to come to Bora Bora 1438 01:00:12.131 --> 01:00:13.391 with me. 1439 01:00:13.491 --> 01:00:15.632 ELLISON: If your grandmother needs help, 1440 01:00:15.732 --> 01:00:17.392 I'll call my personal physician. 1441 01:00:17.492 --> 01:00:19.492 It'll be much faster. 1442 01:00:20.492 --> 01:00:24.432 Uh...well, the thing is, um, 1443 01:00:24.532 --> 01:00:27.872 Granny is with her, uh, gentleman friend 1444 01:00:27.972 --> 01:00:32.512 and he, uh, is trying to sell her...her body 1445 01:00:32.612 --> 01:00:34.232 on the Bora Bora black market. 1446 01:00:34.332 --> 01:00:35.992 Awful. 1447 01:00:36.092 --> 01:00:38.392 I'm sorry, I just, um... 1448 01:00:38.492 --> 01:00:40.192 Excuse me for a minute. 1449 01:00:40.292 --> 01:00:42.072 JACK: Hmm. 1450 01:00:42.172 --> 01:00:44.512 -Mmm! -(CHUCKLES AWKWARDLY) Yeah. 1451 01:00:44.612 --> 01:00:46.612 (DOOR CLOSES) 1452 01:00:47.653 --> 01:00:49.653 (GENTLE MUSIC) 1453 01:00:51.853 --> 01:00:53.853 (MUNCHING NOISES) 1454 01:01:01.933 --> 01:01:03.473 Miles thought you'd need it. 1455 01:01:03.573 --> 01:01:05.113 Oh, thank you! 1456 01:01:05.213 --> 01:01:07.373 I...I do. I need it. 1457 01:01:08.493 --> 01:01:10.473 Is this about that gazillionaire guy? 1458 01:01:10.573 --> 01:01:12.573 That's not even a real number. 1459 01:01:13.373 --> 01:01:15.393 Did you see her? 1460 01:01:15.493 --> 01:01:16.793 Ohhh! 1461 01:01:16.893 --> 01:01:19.454 I mean, she's like... 1462 01:01:20.454 --> 01:01:21.914 ..perfect, like a...like a... 1463 01:01:22.014 --> 01:01:25.514 ..like a princess in...Louboutins. 1464 01:01:25.614 --> 01:01:27.614 And you're...? 1465 01:01:28.454 --> 01:01:30.554 Sitting in a pantry stress-eating 1466 01:01:30.654 --> 01:01:32.234 with cow placenta in my hair, 1467 01:01:32.334 --> 01:01:34.154 pretending to be somebody I'm not. 1468 01:01:34.254 --> 01:01:37.954 With a 10 and three quarters 12-year-old. 1469 01:01:38.054 --> 01:01:40.434 Lady, I've known you two days, and on the whole, 1470 01:01:40.534 --> 01:01:43.714 I'd say you're a...whole ice-cream store of crazy. 1471 01:01:43.814 --> 01:01:47.174 -OK, this is really not helping. -But he likes you better anyway. 1472 01:01:48.254 --> 01:01:49.394 You think? 1473 01:01:49.494 --> 01:01:51.435 D'uh! 1474 01:01:51.535 --> 01:01:54.315 Of course he does. Now, go get yourself cleaned up. 1475 01:01:54.415 --> 01:01:55.955 (LAUGHS) 1476 01:01:56.055 --> 01:01:57.355 Oh, God! 1477 01:01:57.455 --> 01:01:59.515 (BREATHES DEEPLY) 1478 01:01:59.615 --> 01:02:02.075 CLEMENTINE: That's the way it rolls sometimes. 1479 01:02:02.175 --> 01:02:05.835 There'll be great days, there'll be good days, 1480 01:02:05.935 --> 01:02:10.175 and there'll be bad, not fun, downright ghastly days. 1481 01:02:11.175 --> 01:02:14.635 But if you stay strong and never, ever give up, 1482 01:02:14.735 --> 01:02:19.575 you'll find a way to make even the wildest of dreams... 1483 01:02:22.015 --> 01:02:24.016 (DOOR CLOSES) 1484 01:02:24.776 --> 01:02:26.476 -(SCREEN DOOR CLOSES) -..a reality. 1485 01:02:26.576 --> 01:02:28.576 (UPLIFTING MUSIC) 1486 01:02:35.856 --> 01:02:41.076 ♪ Oh...oh 1487 01:02:41.176 --> 01:02:42.516 ♪ Oh-oh... ♪ 1488 01:02:42.616 --> 01:02:45.796 -(HORN HONKS) -Oi, Clem, what's the hold-up? 1489 01:02:45.896 --> 01:02:47.636 -I'm here. -Good. 1490 01:02:47.736 --> 01:02:49.636 You're in the back with Jack and Avon. 1491 01:02:49.736 --> 01:02:51.956 -Avalon. -DAVID: Avon...alon. 1492 01:02:52.056 --> 01:02:55.056 -(WHISPERS) She looks hot. -I know. 1493 01:03:05.697 --> 01:03:07.477 (CHATTER) 1494 01:03:07.577 --> 01:03:10.237 -So tell me how you guys met. -Mmm! 1495 01:03:10.337 --> 01:03:14.357 Uh, it's, uh...it's not really a very interesting story. 1496 01:03:14.457 --> 01:03:18.077 Stop! It was at Leo's New Year's Eve party two years ago. 1497 01:03:18.177 --> 01:03:20.757 I was working as a brand ambassador for Egg-Vod. 1498 01:03:20.857 --> 01:03:23.157 -Wow. -Uh...what? What? What? 1499 01:03:23.257 --> 01:03:26.197 Oh, cute. Um, it's this eggnog-flavoured vodka. 1500 01:03:26.297 --> 01:03:28.638 You have to act like you like it, sell people on it. 1501 01:03:28.738 --> 01:03:31.598 But you can't let them get too drunk because if they barf, 1502 01:03:31.698 --> 01:03:34.678 then they'll forever associate with the brand. 1503 01:03:34.778 --> 01:03:37.198 -I'm glad I asked. -JACK: Mmm. 1504 01:03:37.298 --> 01:03:38.798 It takes real talent. 1505 01:03:38.898 --> 01:03:40.718 EMMY: Mm. Mm. 1506 01:03:40.818 --> 01:03:43.558 Anyways, um, how did you and Clementine meet? 1507 01:03:43.658 --> 01:03:45.158 I haven't read your book. Sorry. 1508 01:03:45.258 --> 01:03:48.558 -Ahh. -Ohh! Bloody romantic, mate. 1509 01:03:48.658 --> 01:03:50.958 You want to tell this one, Em...Clem? 1510 01:03:51.058 --> 01:03:52.878 -No. I... No. -No? 1511 01:03:52.978 --> 01:03:54.878 True love should be shared. 1512 01:03:54.978 --> 01:03:59.158 Long story short, Clemmy was a reporter from the big smoke. 1513 01:03:59.258 --> 01:04:00.158 Mmm! 1514 01:04:00.258 --> 01:04:01.719 Then she flew on out to... 1515 01:04:01.819 --> 01:04:03.799 ..Walkabout Creek. 1516 01:04:03.899 --> 01:04:06.319 -EMMY: I guess. -MILES: You did. 1517 01:04:06.419 --> 01:04:09.559 I-I-I-I...I...I did. 1518 01:04:09.659 --> 01:04:12.279 And she asked my mate Wally 1519 01:04:12.379 --> 01:04:15.159 for a guide to show her around. 1520 01:04:15.259 --> 01:04:18.359 -Miles! Darling. -I...was the guide. (LAUGHS) 1521 01:04:18.459 --> 01:04:21.519 -Oh, no, no, no, no. (LAUGHS) -(KISSES HAND REPEATEDLY) 1522 01:04:21.619 --> 01:04:24.919 No-one wants to hear this boring story. 1523 01:04:25.019 --> 01:04:26.359 Yes, we do! 1524 01:04:26.459 --> 01:04:27.919 -Oh. Yeah, OK. -That's... 1525 01:04:28.019 --> 01:04:29.279 Yeah, OK. Uh... 1526 01:04:29.379 --> 01:04:32.279 Before we knew it, we were chasing buffaloes 1527 01:04:32.379 --> 01:04:34.200 and hunting crocs! 1528 01:04:34.300 --> 01:04:37.360 And somehow in all of that, we fell in love. 1529 01:04:37.460 --> 01:04:41.280 We did, and that's about it. Just fell in love, love, love. 1530 01:04:41.380 --> 01:04:43.480 And it was love, love...love. 1531 01:04:43.580 --> 01:04:45.160 -MILES: Deep love. Pure love. -Yes. Mmm. 1532 01:04:45.260 --> 01:04:46.880 Pure like my home brew. 1533 01:04:46.980 --> 01:04:49.240 You know, that...that story just... 1534 01:04:49.340 --> 01:04:51.800 It sounds so familiar. (CHUCKLES) 1535 01:04:51.900 --> 01:04:53.400 Wait. 1536 01:04:53.500 --> 01:04:56.560 Uh...I thought you guys met in a creek. 1537 01:04:56.660 --> 01:04:58.660 (UNCERTAINLY) Yeah... 1538 01:04:59.540 --> 01:05:00.560 BOTH: Walkabout Creek. 1539 01:05:00.660 --> 01:05:01.680 Yes! Walkabout... Walkabout Creek. 1540 01:05:01.780 --> 01:05:02.840 -VIOLET: Attention. -Whoa! 1541 01:05:02.940 --> 01:05:04.760 -Oh! Ohhh. -MILES: Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! 1542 01:05:04.860 --> 01:05:07.201 -EMMY: It's our little darling. -(LAUGHS) That's my girl. 1543 01:05:07.301 --> 01:05:09.041 -Oh, that's our girl. -VIOLET: Attention. 1544 01:05:09.141 --> 01:05:10.601 -MILES: Our girl! -EMMY: Our girl. 1545 01:05:10.701 --> 01:05:12.921 The kids of Emu Springs have a special message 1546 01:05:13.021 --> 01:05:14.201 for all you losers. 1547 01:05:14.301 --> 01:05:16.201 (EMMY SIGHS, THEN LAUGHS) 1548 01:05:16.301 --> 01:05:18.241 (KIDS SING) ♪ Dashing through the scrub 1549 01:05:18.341 --> 01:05:20.761 -♪ In a rustic 4x4... ♪ -EMMY AND MILES: Ohhh! 1550 01:05:20.861 --> 01:05:24.041 -♪ Daddy's dodging roos... ♪ -Aren't you proud? 1551 01:05:24.141 --> 01:05:26.441 ♪ While Mum heads to the store 1552 01:05:26.541 --> 01:05:28.961 ♪ Kids are in the back 1553 01:05:29.061 --> 01:05:31.601 ♪ Swatting blowies left and right 1554 01:05:31.701 --> 01:05:34.441 ♪ It's Christmastime down under 1555 01:05:34.541 --> 01:05:36.841 ♪ And the sun is blooming bright 1556 01:05:36.941 --> 01:05:40.202 ♪ Hey! Jingle bells, jingle bells 1557 01:05:40.302 --> 01:05:42.082 (OTHERS SING ALONG) ♪ Jingle all the way 1558 01:05:42.182 --> 01:05:44.722 ♪ There's better times for a barbecue 1559 01:05:44.822 --> 01:05:47.762 ♪ Than a scorching Christmas Day, hey! 1560 01:05:47.862 --> 01:05:50.282 ♪ Jingle bells, jingle bells 1561 01:05:50.382 --> 01:05:52.722 ♪ A tinny and your thongs 1562 01:05:52.822 --> 01:05:55.442 ♪ There's nothing like a cold one 1563 01:05:55.542 --> 01:05:57.322 ♪ At the Aussie billabong 1564 01:05:57.422 --> 01:06:00.202 ♪ Hey! Jingle bells, jingle bells 1565 01:06:00.302 --> 01:06:02.082 ♪ With a tinny and your thongs 1566 01:06:02.182 --> 01:06:04.842 ♪ There's nothing like a cold one 1567 01:06:04.942 --> 01:06:09.963 ♪ At the Aussie billabong. ♪ 1568 01:06:10.063 --> 01:06:12.963 (CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) 1569 01:06:13.063 --> 01:06:15.323 -That's my daughter! -EMMY: That's our daughter! 1570 01:06:15.423 --> 01:06:17.423 -MILES: Our daughter! -(CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) 1571 01:06:23.463 --> 01:06:24.723 Oh. 1572 01:06:24.823 --> 01:06:27.603 Ha! Wow, that was different. (LAUGHS) 1573 01:06:27.703 --> 01:06:31.683 -DRIVER: Merry Christmas! -EMMY: Oh. Merry Christmas! 1574 01:06:31.783 --> 01:06:33.783 JACK: Merry Christmas! 1575 01:06:35.103 --> 01:06:37.783 -(JACK CHUCKLES) -EMMY: Oh! 1576 01:06:38.783 --> 01:06:40.203 -Wow. -Wow. 1577 01:06:40.303 --> 01:06:42.724 CLEMENTINE: 'Twas the night before Christmas 1578 01:06:42.824 --> 01:06:44.824 and all through our town... 1579 01:06:45.824 --> 01:06:48.764 ..no creature was stirring, 1580 01:06:48.864 --> 01:06:51.204 not a roo left around. 1581 01:06:51.304 --> 01:06:53.304 -LITTLE EMMY: Not even one? -No. 1582 01:06:54.024 --> 01:06:56.764 And as midnight grew closer, 1583 01:06:56.864 --> 01:06:58.204 we snuggled into bed. 1584 01:06:58.304 --> 01:07:00.304 (LAUGHS) 1585 01:07:03.224 --> 01:07:04.644 Ahhh. 1586 01:07:04.744 --> 01:07:07.284 As visions of gumnuts and fairy bread... 1587 01:07:07.384 --> 01:07:09.084 -(SOFTLY) Shh! Merry Christmas. -Merry Christmas. 1588 01:07:09.184 --> 01:07:12.144 ..swirled in our heads. 1589 01:07:13.144 --> 01:07:17.405 Then, all of a sudden, what should arise? 1590 01:07:17.505 --> 01:07:21.905 A flash of bright red soared through the skies! 1591 01:07:25.305 --> 01:07:27.745 (MILES LAUGHS) 1592 01:07:32.065 --> 01:07:33.725 -Aussie Santa was here... -(LAUGHS) 1593 01:07:33.825 --> 01:07:35.825 ..to make things too right. 1594 01:07:39.385 --> 01:07:41.765 And as he slipped down our chimney 1595 01:07:41.865 --> 01:07:44.005 in his boardies and tights, 1596 01:07:44.105 --> 01:07:48.126 he shouted, "Merry Aussie Christmas to all! 1597 01:07:48.226 --> 01:07:51.626 "And to all a good night." 1598 01:08:03.426 --> 01:08:05.786 (KOOKABURRA LAUGHS) 1599 01:08:07.866 --> 01:08:10.146 (BIRD CAWS) 1600 01:08:13.626 --> 01:08:14.526 (BOTTLE POPS) 1601 01:08:14.626 --> 01:08:16.286 -MILES: Whoa! -AVALON: Whoa! 1602 01:08:16.386 --> 01:08:19.247 -EMMY: Merry Christmas! -JACK: Merry Christmas! 1603 01:08:19.347 --> 01:08:21.047 (LAUGHTER) 1604 01:08:21.147 --> 01:08:22.487 -AVALON: Thank you. -(JACK LAUGHS) 1605 01:08:22.587 --> 01:08:24.727 -VIOLET: Man alive! -Look at the size of that fly. 1606 01:08:24.827 --> 01:08:26.047 -(FLY BUZZES AWAY) -ELLISON: Oh! 1607 01:08:26.147 --> 01:08:28.887 -So...what do you think? -(WHISPERS) Good job. 1608 01:08:28.987 --> 01:08:31.047 DAVID: I think you should say something. 1609 01:08:31.147 --> 01:08:33.927 -Like a toast? -Yeah, do a toast. 1610 01:08:34.027 --> 01:08:35.207 -Oh. -(FLY BUZZES) 1611 01:08:35.307 --> 01:08:37.287 -OK. Um... -Come on. 1612 01:08:37.387 --> 01:08:40.007 EMMY: OK, alright, alright. I just, um... 1613 01:08:40.107 --> 01:08:44.287 Before we, uh, get stuck into all this delicious food... 1614 01:08:44.387 --> 01:08:47.087 -And wine. -And wine. 1615 01:08:47.187 --> 01:08:48.767 -..I just wanted to say... -(FLY BUZZES) 1616 01:08:48.867 --> 01:08:51.888 ..how grateful we are to have 1617 01:08:51.988 --> 01:08:53.528 London & London here 1618 01:08:53.628 --> 01:08:56.608 for a very special Fig Tree Farm Christmas. 1619 01:08:56.708 --> 01:08:58.768 Ripper! -Ripper is right! 1620 01:08:58.868 --> 01:09:00.008 -EMMY: Uh... -(FLY BUZZES) 1621 01:09:00.108 --> 01:09:01.848 There really isn't a traditional Australian, 1622 01:09:01.948 --> 01:09:05.568 um, Christmas, pfft, toast - ooh! - I don't think. 1623 01:09:05.668 --> 01:09:08.288 So I'm just gonna make one up, OK? Um... 1624 01:09:08.388 --> 01:09:10.888 Here's to...lunch... 1625 01:09:10.988 --> 01:09:11.888 (FLY BUZZES) 1626 01:09:11.988 --> 01:09:13.408 ..among the gum trees. 1627 01:09:13.508 --> 01:09:17.208 So may your jumbucks stay jolly and, um... 1628 01:09:17.308 --> 01:09:18.888 The prawn salad's melting, Clem. 1629 01:09:18.988 --> 01:09:22.048 ..may all your Christmases be bright. 1630 01:09:22.148 --> 01:09:23.609 DAVID: To Clementine 1631 01:09:23.709 --> 01:09:28.049 and the beautiful world that she created here at Fig Tree Farm. 1632 01:09:28.149 --> 01:09:30.089 May it always prosper. 1633 01:09:30.189 --> 01:09:31.889 -ELLISON: Merry Christmas. -VIOLET: Merry Christmas! 1634 01:09:31.989 --> 01:09:33.169 Merry Christmas! 1635 01:09:33.269 --> 01:09:34.729 -AVALON: Merry Christmas! -JACK: Merry Christmas. 1636 01:09:34.829 --> 01:09:36.529 MILES: Merry Christmas! 1637 01:09:36.629 --> 01:09:37.569 EMMY: Whoo! 1638 01:09:37.669 --> 01:09:39.049 DAVID: Up your bum. 1639 01:09:39.149 --> 01:09:40.649 Up your bum. Phwoar! 1640 01:09:40.749 --> 01:09:42.369 Um, why don't we, uh... 1641 01:09:42.469 --> 01:09:44.769 Sorry. ..move this inside? 1642 01:09:44.869 --> 01:09:46.489 JACK: Yeah. Inside. Inside. 1643 01:09:46.589 --> 01:09:49.889 (JOLLY MUSIC AND CHATTER) 1644 01:09:49.989 --> 01:09:51.929 -Alright. Got it? -Yeah. I got it. 1645 01:09:52.029 --> 01:09:53.529 (CHATTER) 1646 01:09:53.629 --> 01:09:55.450 (CLUCKS) 1647 01:09:55.550 --> 01:09:57.130 (BONBON SNAPS) 1648 01:09:57.230 --> 01:09:59.250 -Whoa! -Winner wears the crown, right? 1649 01:09:59.350 --> 01:10:01.410 Have you ever ridden a kangaroo to school? 1650 01:10:01.510 --> 01:10:02.650 No. 1651 01:10:02.750 --> 01:10:04.370 You look very nice in all that colour. 1652 01:10:04.470 --> 01:10:05.810 JACK: It matches your eyes. 1653 01:10:05.910 --> 01:10:07.910 (WHISPERS) You're actually having fun, Mother! 1654 01:10:08.830 --> 01:10:10.650 Why do Australians hate the word ketchup? 1655 01:10:10.750 --> 01:10:12.750 Why do Americans hate the metric system? 1656 01:10:13.630 --> 01:10:15.690 -Merry Christmas. -Merry Christmas. 1657 01:10:15.790 --> 01:10:17.170 AVALON: Do you really eat Vegemite? 1658 01:10:17.270 --> 01:10:19.770 Or is that just a cruel joke you people play on the world? 1659 01:10:19.870 --> 01:10:20.930 You tell me. 1660 01:10:21.030 --> 01:10:23.170 Where did you get that? 1661 01:10:23.270 --> 01:10:25.090 -(DAVID SPEAKS) -Oh, sorry. 1662 01:10:25.190 --> 01:10:26.770 -You can have it. -No, you go. 1663 01:10:26.870 --> 01:10:29.651 -Mmm! Yum! Yum! -VIOLET: Have more bread. 1664 01:10:29.751 --> 01:10:32.971 -JACK: Oh. Look, you go. -You can have my strawberry. 1665 01:10:33.071 --> 01:10:35.371 There's plenty. May I? 1666 01:10:35.471 --> 01:10:36.651 Yes. 1667 01:10:36.751 --> 01:10:38.411 -Ooh-ah! -(GAGS) 1668 01:10:38.511 --> 01:10:40.331 (CHATTER CONTINUES) 1669 01:10:40.431 --> 01:10:41.971 JACK: Um, can I have this one? 1670 01:10:42.071 --> 01:10:43.411 (LAUGHS) 1671 01:10:43.511 --> 01:10:45.171 That was absolutely the worst throw 1672 01:10:45.271 --> 01:10:46.851 I've ever seen in my life. 1673 01:10:46.951 --> 01:10:50.051 You're the worst catcher. Try again. Ooh! (LAUGHS) 1674 01:10:50.151 --> 01:10:51.491 You're trying to break my teeth. 1675 01:10:51.591 --> 01:10:53.591 -EMMY: That was close. -Another go. 1676 01:10:53.911 --> 01:10:55.731 -Oh! (LAUGHS) -MILES: Anyone need more plonk? 1677 01:10:55.831 --> 01:10:59.371 -Plonk? -Plonk. Alcohol. A drink, love. 1678 01:10:59.471 --> 01:11:02.292 Oh! I can't. I'm so tiny. 1679 01:11:02.392 --> 01:11:04.332 -I'll be so hungover. -(EMMY LAUGHS) 1680 01:11:04.432 --> 01:11:07.652 Well, we could always use Clemmy's old hangover cure. 1681 01:11:07.752 --> 01:11:09.332 Oh, yeah, vinegar and milk! 1682 01:11:09.432 --> 01:11:13.852 That'll stop you from wanting to drink ever again! (CHUCKLES) 1683 01:11:13.952 --> 01:11:15.492 Vinegar and milk? 1684 01:11:15.592 --> 01:11:18.092 I met a woman recently in New York 1685 01:11:18.192 --> 01:11:20.492 and that was her remedy as well. 1686 01:11:20.592 --> 01:11:22.532 What a coincidence! 1687 01:11:22.632 --> 01:11:24.872 Whoa! You met a woman? 1688 01:11:25.912 --> 01:11:27.912 Which woman, Jack? 1689 01:11:30.312 --> 01:11:33.773 Hey, why don't we have a game of Christmas charades? 1690 01:11:33.873 --> 01:11:34.973 MILES: Hey! 1691 01:11:35.073 --> 01:11:36.973 VIOLET: Um, OK. 1692 01:11:37.073 --> 01:11:40.133 -Um, two words. Uh...movie. -AVALON: OK. 1693 01:11:40.233 --> 01:11:42.233 'Now I See You'. 1694 01:11:42.833 --> 01:11:46.933 I know, 'cause it's right there. There. 1695 01:11:47.033 --> 01:11:49.033 You're the "Blue da-ba-da-di" girl. 1696 01:11:49.713 --> 01:11:51.893 I know a bad dye job when I see one. 1697 01:11:51.993 --> 01:11:54.453 Maybe the men don't have the eyes. 1698 01:11:54.553 --> 01:11:56.093 But I see. 1699 01:11:56.193 --> 01:11:58.893 But I'm not blonde. (LAUGHS) So... 1700 01:11:58.993 --> 01:12:00.293 AVALON: What about poor Miles? 1701 01:12:00.393 --> 01:12:02.573 Isn't that your wife with my boyfriend? 1702 01:12:02.673 --> 01:12:04.814 -I'm not your boyfriend! -AVALON: Oh. 1703 01:12:04.914 --> 01:12:06.914 And she's not his wife. 1704 01:12:08.114 --> 01:12:09.934 -You two are a couple. -What? 1705 01:12:10.034 --> 01:12:13.334 JACK: Miles, I saw you. You were grabbing David's ass. 1706 01:12:13.434 --> 01:12:15.974 I was actually thinking it was a weird throuple situation. 1707 01:12:16.074 --> 01:12:17.894 -EMMY: Oh, my... -MILES: How ridiculous. 1708 01:12:17.994 --> 01:12:19.574 -Ridiculous! -I am her hubby. 1709 01:12:19.674 --> 01:12:22.374 -Yes, he is. -Oh, give it away, guys. 1710 01:12:22.474 --> 01:12:25.114 Come on. Who the hell are you, really? 1711 01:12:27.954 --> 01:12:29.954 I'm sorry, Jack. 1712 01:12:30.674 --> 01:12:33.454 ELLISON: She's the magical Clementine Jones 1713 01:12:33.554 --> 01:12:36.334 and you bid a million dollars on her book. 1714 01:12:36.434 --> 01:12:39.535 JACK: Yeah, I did. But she's not. 1715 01:12:39.635 --> 01:12:41.295 Technically, 1716 01:12:41.395 --> 01:12:45.135 I did...I did grow up here on Fig...Tree Farm, 1717 01:12:45.235 --> 01:12:49.055 but...my mum created all of this, not me, 1718 01:12:49.155 --> 01:12:53.695 and...and the books are... well, from her j...journals. 1719 01:12:53.795 --> 01:12:57.815 Mm-hm. I knew your accent sounded kinda fishy. 1720 01:12:57.915 --> 01:13:00.015 Because, like, who the hell talks like they're on 1721 01:13:00.115 --> 01:13:01.895 'Downtown Abbey' when they live in the frickin' outback? 1722 01:13:01.995 --> 01:13:04.655 -It's 'Downton Abbey'. -And who's this? 1723 01:13:04.755 --> 01:13:06.755 Uh... 1724 01:13:07.555 --> 01:13:09.776 We borrowed Violet. She's not really my daughter. 1725 01:13:09.876 --> 01:13:11.296 Rented, actually. 1726 01:13:11.396 --> 01:13:13.176 Rented her. 1727 01:13:13.276 --> 01:13:14.496 I feel sick. 1728 01:13:14.596 --> 01:13:15.856 You feel sick? 1729 01:13:15.956 --> 01:13:17.576 Samesies. 1730 01:13:17.676 --> 01:13:19.416 I'm sorry, Jack. 1731 01:13:19.516 --> 01:13:22.436 (LAUGHS) Yeah, you're sorry. You're sorry. 1732 01:13:23.436 --> 01:13:25.336 -As long as you're sorry. Yeah. -EMMY: Not... 1733 01:13:25.436 --> 01:13:27.956 Sorry. Mum, she's sorry. That's good. Yeah. 1734 01:13:28.956 --> 01:13:30.956 (DOOR SHUTS) 1735 01:13:31.796 --> 01:13:33.656 EMMY: Jack. 1736 01:13:33.756 --> 01:13:36.016 (GENTLE MUSIC) 1737 01:13:36.116 --> 01:13:37.696 Hey. 1738 01:13:37.796 --> 01:13:40.136 The little girl from the book, right? 1739 01:13:40.236 --> 01:13:41.537 Yeah. 1740 01:13:41.637 --> 01:13:44.217 Have you any idea how many people I have working on you 1741 01:13:44.317 --> 01:13:47.737 and this book and your social engagements? 1742 01:13:47.837 --> 01:13:50.137 What do you think's gonna happen when they find out little Clem 1743 01:13:50.237 --> 01:13:52.777 they've fallen in love with in the book is just a complete... 1744 01:13:52.877 --> 01:13:55.017 -A fraud. -Heh. 1745 01:13:55.117 --> 01:13:57.117 Was any of this real? 1746 01:13:59.957 --> 01:14:01.857 I suppose that was no chance encounter 1747 01:14:01.957 --> 01:14:03.337 we had in Manhattan either. 1748 01:14:03.437 --> 01:14:04.857 All part of your little plan, hmm? 1749 01:14:04.957 --> 01:14:09.977 No, no. That was... (LAUGHS) ..fate, maybe. I don't know. 1750 01:14:10.077 --> 01:14:13.738 I could never have known that you were going to be the guy 1751 01:14:13.838 --> 01:14:15.338 who bought the book. 1752 01:14:15.438 --> 01:14:16.418 (DOOR OPENS) 1753 01:14:16.518 --> 01:14:19.098 I had no idea until you showed up here. 1754 01:14:19.198 --> 01:14:20.978 I don't know what to believe. 1755 01:14:21.078 --> 01:14:23.078 It's just like... 1756 01:14:23.558 --> 01:14:25.698 Jackson. 1757 01:14:25.798 --> 01:14:27.798 Time to go. 1758 01:14:29.078 --> 01:14:30.498 EMMY: Oh... 1759 01:14:30.598 --> 01:14:32.598 (JACK GROANS) 1760 01:14:35.878 --> 01:14:38.078 (CAR ENGINE STARTS) 1761 01:14:40.398 --> 01:14:42.918 (JACK GROANS) What is in here? 1762 01:14:44.278 --> 01:14:46.279 AVALON: Get in. 1763 01:14:47.479 --> 01:14:49.339 (ENGINE REVS) 1764 01:14:49.439 --> 01:14:52.579 EMMY: (TEARY) You be good to your mama, OK? 1765 01:14:52.679 --> 01:14:54.919 You only get one. 1766 01:14:56.639 --> 01:14:58.539 (KNOCKS) 1767 01:14:58.639 --> 01:15:00.059 (GASPS) 1768 01:15:00.159 --> 01:15:02.159 Hi. 1769 01:15:02.599 --> 01:15:04.219 The fancy people are leaving. 1770 01:15:04.319 --> 01:15:05.939 MILES: You're gonna let him drive outta here? 1771 01:15:06.039 --> 01:15:07.579 You can't just give up. 1772 01:15:07.679 --> 01:15:10.419 You always find a solution, Em. 1773 01:15:10.519 --> 01:15:13.299 He hates me and rightly so. 1774 01:15:13.399 --> 01:15:15.979 I messed it all up. I messed it all up. 1775 01:15:16.079 --> 01:15:18.340 No. Come here. Shh. 1776 01:15:18.440 --> 01:15:20.620 I know you don't want to hear this, 1777 01:15:20.720 --> 01:15:24.980 but I wouldn't be your best friend if I didn't say it. 1778 01:15:25.080 --> 01:15:26.820 Yeah. 1779 01:15:26.920 --> 01:15:28.980 What would Clementine do? 1780 01:15:29.080 --> 01:15:31.080 (KISSES) 1781 01:15:33.480 --> 01:15:35.660 She'd tell me to chase my dreams. 1782 01:15:35.760 --> 01:15:36.860 Yeah. 1783 01:15:36.960 --> 01:15:38.960 That's your answer. 1784 01:15:39.560 --> 01:15:41.500 I just miss her so much. 1785 01:15:41.600 --> 01:15:42.620 I know. 1786 01:15:42.720 --> 01:15:43.700 VIOLET: Ohh. 1787 01:15:43.800 --> 01:15:45.620 We all miss her, honey. Mmm. (KISSES) 1788 01:15:45.720 --> 01:15:47.720 Every minute, every day. 1789 01:15:48.760 --> 01:15:51.061 Ahh. OK. 1790 01:15:51.161 --> 01:15:53.741 Oh, I've got make-up all over my face. 1791 01:15:53.841 --> 01:15:55.701 Do I smell like cow? 1792 01:15:55.801 --> 01:15:57.141 -Yeah. -MILES: Yes. 1793 01:15:57.241 --> 01:15:59.261 Thanks, Marilyn. 1794 01:15:59.361 --> 01:16:00.741 DAVID: What are we waiting for? 1795 01:16:00.841 --> 01:16:02.021 VIOLET: Christmas? 1796 01:16:02.121 --> 01:16:03.221 DAVID: Come on. 1797 01:16:03.321 --> 01:16:04.941 -(EXCITING MUSIC) -DAVID: Come on! 1798 01:16:05.041 --> 01:16:07.861 -This is crazy! -MILES: Come on, let's go! 1799 01:16:07.961 --> 01:16:09.701 -(ENGINE STARTS) -Good luck! 1800 01:16:09.801 --> 01:16:11.841 (ENGINE REVS) 1801 01:16:13.241 --> 01:16:15.241 Whoo! 1802 01:16:18.161 --> 01:16:20.061 -EMMY: Come on! -MILES: OK! 1803 01:16:20.161 --> 01:16:21.501 -EMMY: Miles! -MILES: Yes! 1804 01:16:21.601 --> 01:16:22.742 DAVID: Come on! 1805 01:16:22.842 --> 01:16:24.982 We're coming for you, Jack! 1806 01:16:25.082 --> 01:16:26.822 AVALON: I don't know about you people, 1807 01:16:26.922 --> 01:16:29.622 but I am so ready for a piña colada 1808 01:16:29.722 --> 01:16:32.662 and a beach and a massage. 1809 01:16:32.762 --> 01:16:35.822 Oh, you should see the resort. It's so beautiful. 1810 01:16:35.922 --> 01:16:37.922 You're gonna love it. 1811 01:16:39.762 --> 01:16:41.382 Ahhhhh! 1812 01:16:41.482 --> 01:16:45.102 Oh, my gosh. This psycho does not stop! 1813 01:16:45.202 --> 01:16:47.462 -(EMMY SHOUTS) -Pull over! 1814 01:16:47.562 --> 01:16:49.222 (TYRES SCREECH) 1815 01:16:49.322 --> 01:16:50.702 DAVID: Avalon, where'd you get your licence? 1816 01:16:50.802 --> 01:16:53.222 -For Christ's sake! -EMMY: Jack! 1817 01:16:53.322 --> 01:16:56.103 -I'm sorry. -Have you lost your mind? 1818 01:16:56.203 --> 01:16:58.263 I don't know. Maybe. 1819 01:16:58.363 --> 01:17:00.363 Oh! 1820 01:17:00.923 --> 01:17:03.543 Ellison! Ms London! 1821 01:17:03.643 --> 01:17:06.983 Please don't be mad at Jack. He had nothing to do with this. 1822 01:17:07.083 --> 01:17:08.503 My son trusted you. 1823 01:17:08.603 --> 01:17:11.343 I don't appreciate being manipulated, 1824 01:17:11.443 --> 01:17:13.463 personally or professionally. 1825 01:17:13.563 --> 01:17:16.943 Then you're gonna not appreciate what I have to say next. 1826 01:17:17.043 --> 01:17:19.763 -The truth is... -JACK: Whoa! 1827 01:17:22.403 --> 01:17:23.823 Are they still coming? 1828 01:17:23.923 --> 01:17:26.303 You're gonna get yourself killed! 1829 01:17:26.403 --> 01:17:28.344 I'm in love with you! 1830 01:17:28.444 --> 01:17:30.604 What?! 1831 01:17:31.724 --> 01:17:32.944 Stop the car. 1832 01:17:33.044 --> 01:17:35.344 What is wrong with you people?! 1833 01:17:35.444 --> 01:17:36.504 -A horse! -JACK: Whoa! Whoa! 1834 01:17:36.604 --> 01:17:37.664 (SCREAMS) 1835 01:17:37.764 --> 01:17:39.764 Merry Christmas! 1836 01:17:48.684 --> 01:17:50.584 (JACK SCREAMS) 1837 01:17:50.684 --> 01:17:53.784 What the hell is wrong with you? Are you crazy? 1838 01:17:53.884 --> 01:17:56.824 You know what, I might be a fraud, but you're one too! 1839 01:17:56.924 --> 01:17:59.184 Not the best start. 1840 01:17:59.284 --> 01:18:00.825 You're not who you pretend to be. 1841 01:18:00.925 --> 01:18:03.745 You're not this suave, lady-chasing playboy 1842 01:18:03.845 --> 01:18:05.225 that you pretend to be. 1843 01:18:05.325 --> 01:18:07.785 You're more than that. You do care. 1844 01:18:07.885 --> 01:18:09.265 And meeting with you, 1845 01:18:09.365 --> 01:18:11.945 it was one of the best surprises of my...of my life. 1846 01:18:12.045 --> 01:18:16.385 And if I let you go, I will regret it every day. 1847 01:18:16.485 --> 01:18:19.985 Every...Christmas for the rest of my life. 1848 01:18:20.085 --> 01:18:22.085 -So just... -"Don't..." 1849 01:18:23.045 --> 01:18:25.045 -Just "Don't..." -(EMMY SIGHS) 1850 01:18:26.845 --> 01:18:28.845 (SIGHS) 1851 01:18:31.445 --> 01:18:33.526 "..go breaking my heart. 1852 01:18:36.166 --> 01:18:38.166 "Oh, honey, if I get restless..." 1853 01:18:40.846 --> 01:18:42.846 (WHISPERS) Everybody's watching us. 1854 01:18:44.246 --> 01:18:45.506 (MOUTHS) 1855 01:18:45.606 --> 01:18:48.006 Your speech was actually pretty good. 1856 01:18:50.246 --> 01:18:52.486 Don't leave me hanging here. 1857 01:18:53.886 --> 01:18:55.386 "I couldn't if I tried." 1858 01:18:55.486 --> 01:18:56.826 (RUNNING FOOTSTEPS) 1859 01:18:56.926 --> 01:19:00.266 Are you kidding me right now? You want this...over this? 1860 01:19:00.366 --> 01:19:02.366 -Uh! -G'day. 1861 01:19:03.646 --> 01:19:06.507 OK. I see what's happening. 1862 01:19:06.607 --> 01:19:08.027 -Avalon, listen. -And I get it. Shhh! 1863 01:19:08.127 --> 01:19:09.507 Uh! Uh! Uh! Shhh. 1864 01:19:09.607 --> 01:19:11.867 -Hey, we... -We had some great times. 1865 01:19:11.967 --> 01:19:13.187 -Didn't we? -Uh... 1866 01:19:13.287 --> 01:19:16.467 Shhh! But I now pronounce you dumped and single. 1867 01:19:16.567 --> 01:19:18.187 You may kiss my ass. 1868 01:19:18.287 --> 01:19:19.987 ALL: Oooh! 1869 01:19:20.087 --> 01:19:21.307 (AVALON SHOUTS ANGRILY) 1870 01:19:21.407 --> 01:19:24.267 We were not a couple. I can't stress that enough. 1871 01:19:24.367 --> 01:19:26.107 -Uh-huh. (LAUGHS) -(CAR DOOR SHUTS) 1872 01:19:26.207 --> 01:19:27.587 Close the door! 1873 01:19:27.687 --> 01:19:29.347 -(KICKS DOOR) -My luggage. 1874 01:19:29.447 --> 01:19:31.147 -I'm so sorry. -(ENGINE STARTS) 1875 01:19:31.247 --> 01:19:32.947 -(ENGINE REVS) -MAN: Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! 1876 01:19:33.047 --> 01:19:35.287 -(WOMAN SCREAMS) -MAN: Whoa! 1877 01:19:38.288 --> 01:19:39.908 She's like Dua Lipa. 1878 01:19:40.008 --> 01:19:42.108 But she needs a burger. 1879 01:19:42.208 --> 01:19:45.668 ELLISON: I finally finished your 'Clementine' book last night. 1880 01:19:45.768 --> 01:19:47.228 Wait. What do you mean? 1881 01:19:47.328 --> 01:19:48.748 You came all the way to Australia 1882 01:19:48.848 --> 01:19:50.588 and you just finished the book last night? 1883 01:19:50.688 --> 01:19:52.228 Did it ever occur to you, Jackson, 1884 01:19:52.328 --> 01:19:55.308 that maybe I didn't come all the way down here just for the book? 1885 01:19:55.408 --> 01:19:59.908 Maybe I also wanted to spend some time with my son. 1886 01:20:00.008 --> 01:20:03.668 The book is good. You were right. 1887 01:20:03.768 --> 01:20:07.108 And if this woman can finally get your head out of your ass, 1888 01:20:07.208 --> 01:20:09.069 I can only imagine the hold she'll have 1889 01:20:09.169 --> 01:20:10.869 on the rest of the world. 1890 01:20:10.969 --> 01:20:14.229 Wait. So does that mean you still want to buy the book? 1891 01:20:14.329 --> 01:20:16.429 Yes. 1892 01:20:16.529 --> 01:20:18.189 As for you two... 1893 01:20:18.289 --> 01:20:20.349 Uh-oh. 1894 01:20:20.449 --> 01:20:22.569 You were a couple this whole time? 1895 01:20:24.569 --> 01:20:25.949 Why, yes, ma'am. 1896 01:20:26.049 --> 01:20:30.689 And you don't really talk like Crocodile Dundee? 1897 01:20:31.689 --> 01:20:33.389 No. (LAUGHS) 1898 01:20:33.489 --> 01:20:36.509 Unless you want me to, you drongo! 1899 01:20:36.609 --> 01:20:39.309 -(LAUGHS) -Drongo. 1900 01:20:39.409 --> 01:20:42.730 We'll work you into the book promotion. You're hilarious. 1901 01:20:44.650 --> 01:20:49.550 Was that actually her finding something hilarious? 1902 01:20:49.650 --> 01:20:51.350 (LAUGHS) I think so. 1903 01:20:51.450 --> 01:20:53.150 I want to be her friend. 1904 01:20:53.250 --> 01:20:55.710 -I want her cravat. -Let's go. 1905 01:20:55.810 --> 01:20:57.810 So, now what? 1906 01:20:58.570 --> 01:21:02.190 CLEMENTINE: One, two, three, four. 1907 01:21:02.290 --> 01:21:06.010 (ACOUSTIC VERSION OF 'DON'T GO BREAKING MY HEART' PLAYS) 1908 01:21:15.371 --> 01:21:17.431 (BOTH SING) ♪ Oooh-hoo 1909 01:21:17.531 --> 01:21:19.631 KIDS CHOIR: ♪ Nobody knows it 1910 01:21:19.731 --> 01:21:21.751 BACK-UP SINGERS: ♪ Nobody knows, nobody knows 1911 01:21:21.851 --> 01:21:23.591 KIDS CHOIR: ♪ So don't go breaking my heart 1912 01:21:23.691 --> 01:21:25.271 BACK-UP SINGERS: ♪ Don't go breaking my heart 1913 01:21:25.371 --> 01:21:27.071 KIDS CHOIR: ♪ I won't go breaking your heart 1914 01:21:27.171 --> 01:21:28.551 BACK-UP SINGERS: ♪ Yeah, yeah 1915 01:21:28.651 --> 01:21:31.871 KIDS CHOIR: ♪ Don't go breaking my heart... ♪ 1916 01:21:31.971 --> 01:21:34.371 (LUSH ORCHESTRA JOINS IN) 1917 01:22:04.012 --> 01:22:06.912 (MUSIC CLIMAXES) 1918 01:22:07.012 --> 01:22:10.752 -(SCREAMS) -Argh! (LAUGHS) 1919 01:22:10.852 --> 01:22:13.172 (UPBEAT MUSIC) 1920 01:22:45.413 --> 01:22:47.353 ♪ You're hiding from dreams 1921 01:22:47.453 --> 01:22:49.913 ♪ You are chasing shadows 1922 01:22:50.013 --> 01:22:52.034 ♪ They cast away from you 1923 01:22:52.134 --> 01:22:53.994 ♪ Cast away 1924 01:22:54.094 --> 01:22:56.434 ♪ You are fighting a fever 1925 01:22:56.534 --> 01:22:58.794 ♪ Caught by staying late 1926 01:22:58.894 --> 01:23:00.954 ♪ You don't want to leave 1927 01:23:01.054 --> 01:23:02.514 ♪ You don't have to 1928 01:23:02.614 --> 01:23:05.274 ♪ You don't want to go away, no 1929 01:23:05.374 --> 01:23:08.114 ♪ Only you can stay 1930 01:23:08.214 --> 01:23:10.394 ♪ You can stay... 1931 01:23:10.494 --> 01:23:11.754 ♪ You can stay 1932 01:23:11.854 --> 01:23:13.794 ♪ A garden is waiting 1933 01:23:13.894 --> 01:23:16.514 ♪ If you do just what they say 1934 01:23:16.614 --> 01:23:18.654 ♪ Do just what they say 1935 01:23:20.614 --> 01:23:24.195 ♪ Ooooh 1936 01:23:24.295 --> 01:23:26.975 ♪ Ooh 1937 01:23:29.375 --> 01:23:31.675 ♪ Look at things you see 1938 01:23:31.775 --> 01:23:34.135 ♪ Look how far you've come 1939 01:23:37.175 --> 01:23:38.155 ♪ And I say 1940 01:23:38.255 --> 01:23:40.435 ♪ Look at where you've been 1941 01:23:40.535 --> 01:23:43.255 ♪ Look at where you're from 1942 01:23:46.895 --> 01:23:49.075 ♪ Look at things you've seen 1943 01:23:49.175 --> 01:23:51.735 ♪ Look how far you've come 1944 01:23:53.175 --> 01:23:55.976 ♪ And look how much you've grown. ♪ 1945 01:23:59.136 --> 01:24:02.156 (QUIRKY INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC)