WEBVTT FILE

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Downloaded from
YTS.MX

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Official YIFY movies site:
YTS.MX

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[bell tolling]

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Tennyson, how do you want us
to refer to you in the captions?

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Oh, here we go.

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I expect you want to know
my preferred pronouns.

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Well, I don't have any.

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I don't have any.
I do not dance the wokey-cokey.

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So you can call me whatever you like.

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Oh, I was just checking
whether we should put OBE after your name.

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No, you should. You must, in fact.

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[crowd shouting]

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[narrator] 2021, a year that made 2020
feel like a mere prequel

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with events more apocalyptic,
more unpredictable,

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and more bizarre than any previous year
in the history of years.

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I'm here live. It's nothing…
I'm not a cat.

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-What's up?
-With unprecedented access to academics…

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Am I lovely?

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…journalists…

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So what's the carbon footprint
of that lamp?

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…cable news opinionators…

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Come on! The bison guy was hot.

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He was hot.

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…billionaire tech moguls…

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-Is that Earth water?
-Yes.

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…scientists…

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Just a little bit of Pfizer
before we start.

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-[groans]
-…influencers…

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It's okay if I Tik-Tok
while we do this, right?

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-…cultural commentators…
-What I actually think?

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You want me to be the first
to be canceled in 2022?

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…and average citizens.

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Well, I am a mom first
and an American first.

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[laughs] In that order.

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Ooh! It really hurts, don't it?

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Oh, I've used the wrong end again.

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This is the story of 2021,

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told by those who were there
to viewers, who were also there.

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This is Death to 2021.

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[narrator]
2021 opens on a note of optimism.

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A range of lip-smacking new vaccines

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promises to transform the COVID pandemic
from an ongoing crisis

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to a repressed traumatic memory.

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And youthful political firebrand Joe Biden

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is poised to enter the White House
and heal a divided America.

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Together, we can get this done.

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But the optimism doesn't last long.

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[crowd chanting] USA! USA!

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A mob congeals
in the Washington District of Columbia,

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inflamed by President Trump's
false claims of electoral fraud…

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There's no way we lost Georgia,
there's no way.

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-[crowd cheering]
-That was a rigged election.

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…claims slavishly echoed
by his media accomplices.

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Donald Trump absolutely crushed Joe Biden.

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Seventy-five million people

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re-elected Donald J. Trump
on November 3rd.

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It really was rigged against Donald Trump.

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One of the loudest trumpets of Trump's
big lie: broadcaster Madison Madison.

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Did Antifa terrorists
infiltrate the count in Arizona

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disguised as voting machines? [scoffs]

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Just asking questions.

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[crowd chanting] Fight for Trump!
Fight for Trump!

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[Foss] It was shaping up to be a clash
of really epic proportions.

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Perhaps the closest historical parallel
would be the battle of Hogwarts.

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When Lord Voldemort set every single
Death Eater to attack the school

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-and defend his final Horcruxes--
-[director] But isn't that Harry Po…

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-Do go on.
-Thank you.

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Of course, Trump's supporters believed

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that the only way to stop the "deep state"
from destroying democracy

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was by destroying it themselves first.

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And we fight.

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We fight like hell,
and if you don't fight like hell,

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you're not going to have
a country anymore.

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With the world's media
eagerly following their every move,

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the rioters stormed the Capitol,

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aiming to prevent the Vice President
certifying the Electoral College votes,

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one of the meaningless ceremonial roles
Mike Pence usually excels at.

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In Washington that day,

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veteran Washington correspondent
Snook Austin.

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I've never seen anything, anything,
as crazy in D.C. as January 6th.

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And I go back a long way in D.C.
I saw Watergate.

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I witnessed Clinton's ejaculation.

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I was in the room
when Bush knelt before Zod.

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But this was something else.

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A cross between a violent insurrection
and a chimps' tea party.

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Terrifying and stupid,
like a Muppet reboot of the Vietnam War.

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The revolution is televised
and live-streamed

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in a blizzard
of chaotic cell phone footage.

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I thought January 6th was wonderful.

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Just so inspiring to see so many citizens
engaging with their democracy.

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I just think if you care that much,

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you should get a shot
at running the country. Why not?

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-We're in the Capitol.
-We're in the fucking Capitol, bro.

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The rioters are simultaneously
bad and good citizens,

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committing crime, yet comprehensively
self-shooting the evidence

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that could later convict them of it.

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Whoo!

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Can I speak to Pelosi?

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Yeah, we're coming, bitch!

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Oh, Mike Pence?
We're coming for you too, fucking traitor!

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One of them was a bison
who disguised himself as a human.

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Freedom!

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He was probably protesting because
bison still don't have the vote, do they?

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Even if they did, they'd never be able
to hold the pencil in their hooves.

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This is our house. This is our country.

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[exclaims]

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I watched it unfold,
and like every American, I was horrified.

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[director] But you were actually there,
weren't you, in the Capitol?

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Was I there?

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[director] That's clear footage of you.

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Yeah, I was there.

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But I was only there
to lend peaceful support.

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Come on out, Pence! You fucking pussy!

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I was simply exercising
my freedom of speech

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as a US American.

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[director] And also your right
to smear your own shit on walls?

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[Flowers] I was writing.
Which also counts as speech, actually.

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Things got a little wild,

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but it felt great to be a part
of something that could change the world.

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You know, I think that this was
really my generation's Woodstock.

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Um, although I don't actually know
what a Woodstock is.

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Finally, after death and destruction,
Trump calls off his confused minions.

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We have to have peace, so go home.
We love you. You're very special.

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[protestor] He says, "Go home."

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Donald Trump
just asked everybody to go home.

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[protestor] We're staying.

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Okay, then stay, motherfucker.
I don't give a shit.

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In the aftermath,
when pushed by an inquiring media,

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many involved cannot explain their actions
coherently or incoherently.

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I had nothing to do with charging anybody
or anything or any of that.

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I was in the wrong place
at the wrong time.

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I deeply regret my actions.

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You know, they do not reflect
who I am as a person, or as an American,

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or as a mom, or as a me.

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And that's what I told the judge,
and most importantly,

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he believed me.

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[director] He still sentenced you
to house arrest.

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No-- I'm not…

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[laughs]

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What makes you think
I'm under house arrest?

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[director] Your ankle tag, maybe?

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Oh, this? This is not… [laughs]

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This thing is actually really useful.

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It monitors my heart rate,
it monitors my blood pressure,

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and how close I can get to a gun store.

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Too near, and boom! It explodes.

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Not really, just kidding.

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But I do get sent to jail.
Straight to jail. [chuckles]

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What led Americans
to attack their own government?

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Columnist Penn Parker
has written extensively,

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and drunkenly,
about American society today.

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There are two Americas.

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One America believes experts,
officials and journalists like me

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when we say Biden won.

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The other America thinks
those selfsame experts,

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officials and journalists like me,
are all part of a massive conspiracy.

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I ask you, do you think
the CIA has me on speed dial?

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Surely they could do better than that.

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I sure as shit hope so.

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Trump eventually vacates the White House

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with the shadow of impeachment
hanging over him,

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leaving his Republican cheerleaders
rudderless and backbone-less.

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At first, Republicans denounced Trump.
Then they denied they'd denounced him.

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Then they denied
they'd denied they denounced it.

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Then they denied
the whole thing ever happened.

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Then they denounced anyone
who denounced their denials.

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They change positions
as frequently and brazenly as your mom.

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After all that business,
no wonder America decided

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not to have a president for a while.

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They just got this little old
caretaker man in to keep things going

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until they could work out what to do next.

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So help me God.

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Congratulations, Mr. President.

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[crowd cheering]

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Constitutional order is restored
when, in a reverse exorcism ceremony,

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the ghost of Joe Biden
is installed in the White House.

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Democracy has prevailed.

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Biden promised an intensive program
for his first 100 days in office,

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just in case
he didn't make it beyond that.

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Now, Biden was something else.

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He didn't say
we should stick bleach up are assholes,

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or mock the disabled,
or brag about sexual assault.

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It was like he didn't know
the meaning of the word "presidential."

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Biden's first task is to roll out
new wonder coronavirus vaccines

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that offer people the chance to get back
to around 40% normality.

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But not everyone is happy.

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I'm not someone who likes to
define himself by mainstream brands,

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like a Pfizer or a Moderna,

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especially if they haven't paid
for product placement.

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So, I hooked up with a guy
who makes his own IPA,

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and we brewed up our own craft vaccine.

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All right, and here it is.

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Totally unfiltered, unpasteurized.

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It tastes like…

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Mmm.

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Yeah, just as good as any other IPA.

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[reporter] Tonight, researchers are
closely tracking a new COVID variant

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now spreading rapidly
through New York City.

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[narrator] But just as the vaccines
offer light at the end of the needle,

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ominous news reports revealed deadly
local variants of COVID are going global.

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Why did these new viruses
have to come from overseas?

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We should be making variants here,
in the US, not importing them.

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Make American germs again.

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[reporter] Say goodbye to the UK variant.

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According to
the World Health Organization,

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it's now officially the Alpha variant.
The South…

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Sober news graphics revealed

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the World Health Organization's plan
to label all new variants in Greek.

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I don't know why the Greeks agreed
to manufacture all the new variants.

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You'd think they've got enough on
with all the yogurt.

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One strain soon comes to dominate
the news agenda. Delta.

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First I thought
the new brand names were terrible

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and that they could've come up with
something catchier than Delta.

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But they said they'd looked,

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and there isn't anything catchier
than Delta.

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Scientist Pyrex Flask is on the front line
in the war against the variants.

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[director] What is so concerning
about the Delta variant?

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The Delta variant is very dangerous…

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-[ominous music playing]
-…because of the mutations

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in the gene encoding
of the SARS-CoV-2 spike protein

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that make it much, much more
transmittable than the Corona--

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Sorry, what is that music?

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[director] Just trying to add
some atmosphere, sense of menace.

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This situation is serious. It doesn't…

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-It doesn't need any music.
-Sure.

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-Yeah.
-[music stops]

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00:12:33.875 --> 00:12:35.458
-That better?
-Thank you.

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So, how does a virus mutate?

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-Just like humans, viruses reproduce.
-[sensual music playing]

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You know, like all living organisms,

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viruses contain a DNA,
and when a virus replicates, it copies…

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Sorry, what is happening now?

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[director] Reproduction.
You know, trying to keep it sexy.

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Listen to me,
a virus mutating is not sexy at all.

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Well, it does nothing for me,
and I've looked at them very closely.

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-Lose it?
-Lose it.

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What are the differences
between the variants?

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00:13:01.916 --> 00:13:04.666
Well, the Alpha variant
first detected in Great Britain and--

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-[triumphant music playing]
-Enough! Enough, that is enough.

240
00:13:09.750 --> 00:13:11.708
This new wave of virus variants

241
00:13:11.791 --> 00:13:17.791
leads to a new wave of lockdown variants
and a new wave of depressing news reports.

242
00:13:17.875 --> 00:13:22.625
People are forced once again
to adapt their lives to save lives.

243
00:13:22.708 --> 00:13:24.500
[Nerrick] I was pretty lonely in lockdown,

244
00:13:24.583 --> 00:13:29.333
so instead of just crying on my own
all night and all day, and at weekends,

245
00:13:30.208 --> 00:13:31.791
I thought I'd try a dating app.

246
00:13:31.875 --> 00:13:35.500
Only swiping men in masks
to be on the safe side.

247
00:13:35.583 --> 00:13:37.000
I even went on some Zoom dates,

248
00:13:37.083 --> 00:13:40.041
which are actually good
because they can be really efficient.

249
00:13:40.125 --> 00:13:42.625
What did you do
before you were furloughed?

250
00:13:42.708 --> 00:13:45.125
And that question goes to Man Number 1.

251
00:13:46.041 --> 00:13:49.500
I got on quite well with one of them.
[laughing]

252
00:13:49.583 --> 00:13:51.125
We even had a bit of a cuddle.

253
00:13:53.666 --> 00:13:55.791
[announcer] Miss Daphne Bridgerton.

254
00:13:55.875 --> 00:13:58.458
As the lockdowns continue to bite,

255
00:13:58.541 --> 00:14:02.416
many turned to television for escape,
as you are doing now.

256
00:14:02.500 --> 00:14:05.166
The first TV hit of the year
is Bridgerton,

257
00:14:05.250 --> 00:14:10.416
a gritty exposé of how wealthy and
good-looking people had sex in the past.

258
00:14:13.041 --> 00:14:14.583
[Nerrick] They filmed in olden times,

259
00:14:14.666 --> 00:14:17.750
but using a cast from now,
which is clever.

260
00:14:17.833 --> 00:14:20.625
All dressed like people from paintings.

261
00:14:20.708 --> 00:14:23.291
Got quite raunchy in places.
You know, really mucky.

262
00:14:23.916 --> 00:14:26.250
It was embarrassing
because I was watching it with my mum

263
00:14:26.333 --> 00:14:29.291
and I don't think
she's ever, you know, done it.

264
00:14:30.083 --> 00:14:33.791
At least, I hope not.
I don't like to think about it.

265
00:14:37.708 --> 00:14:40.958
Ugh. Just thought about it.

266
00:14:41.041 --> 00:14:43.291
It is so wonderful to see you,
Lady Danbury.

267
00:14:43.375 --> 00:14:45.458
Words I do not hear often enough.

268
00:14:45.541 --> 00:14:47.708
The show's casting grabs headlines,

269
00:14:47.791 --> 00:14:51.625
with people of color playing members
of the British aristocracy.

270
00:14:51.708 --> 00:14:53.458
It's great that someone who looks like me

271
00:14:53.541 --> 00:14:56.583
could one day grow up
to become Duchess of Hastings.

272
00:14:56.666 --> 00:14:58.791
I binged the whole thing in one go.

273
00:15:00.041 --> 00:15:04.500
Although, in retrospect, I probably
should have been working on the vaccine.

274
00:15:05.500 --> 00:15:06.500
[tsks]

275
00:15:06.583 --> 00:15:09.750
But some privileged white men
are disappointed the lavish show

276
00:15:09.833 --> 00:15:13.458
doesn't give a much-needed break
to privileged white men.

277
00:15:14.125 --> 00:15:18.041
That program was worse
than the statues last year.

278
00:15:18.125 --> 00:15:22.166
The multiculturalism
is historically inaccurate.

279
00:15:22.250 --> 00:15:27.916
In fact, to borrow a trendy phrase,
it is cultural appropriation, is it not?

280
00:15:28.000 --> 00:15:32.458
At a stroke, the whites are erased
from their own history.

281
00:15:32.541 --> 00:15:34.333
[director] It's fantasy, not history.

282
00:15:34.416 --> 00:15:37.333
Well then the whites
are erased from their own fantasy.

283
00:15:37.416 --> 00:15:40.125
Which is worse,
because where does that end?

284
00:15:40.208 --> 00:15:41.625
Tonight, when I'm sleeping,

285
00:15:41.708 --> 00:15:45.750
am I to be replaced in my own dreams
by a handsome black actor?

286
00:15:45.833 --> 00:15:50.333
And then make rough but expert love
to myself while watching in a mirror?

287
00:15:50.416 --> 00:15:52.416
Is that what should happen?
Is that what I want?

288
00:15:52.500 --> 00:15:55.500
You want? Is that what you want?

289
00:15:55.583 --> 00:15:58.916
But while Bridgerton's aristocracy
is color-blind,

290
00:15:59.000 --> 00:16:02.041
real-life British nobility
is anything but,

291
00:16:02.125 --> 00:16:04.666
according to no-longer-royals
Harry and Meghan

292
00:16:04.750 --> 00:16:07.208
in a riveting TV interview.

293
00:16:07.291 --> 00:16:10.750
Meghan shared with us
that there was a conversation with you

294
00:16:10.833 --> 00:16:13.791
-about Archie's skin tone.
-Mm-hmm.

295
00:16:14.833 --> 00:16:16.458
What was that conversation?

296
00:16:17.625 --> 00:16:21.083
That conversation
[chuckles] I'm never going to share.

297
00:16:21.166 --> 00:16:24.875
Accusing the royal family of racism
is outrageous.

298
00:16:24.958 --> 00:16:27.708
-[director] Well--
-No, no, no! I will not have it.

299
00:16:27.791 --> 00:16:32.791
You tell me one thing that implies that
the royal family might be racist. Go on.

300
00:16:32.875 --> 00:16:36.000
[director] Okay. Their entire existence
rests on the premise

301
00:16:36.083 --> 00:16:39.333
that their bloodline is inherently
superior to that of other humans.

302
00:16:39.416 --> 00:16:41.250
But they are inherently superior.

303
00:16:41.333 --> 00:16:45.000
They have the kind of first-class genes
that you can only get

304
00:16:45.083 --> 00:16:49.250
by consistently and dutifully
marrying your second cousin.

305
00:16:49.958 --> 00:16:51.250
I thought it was really refreshing

306
00:16:51.333 --> 00:16:54.666
to see a member of the royal family
sit down with a TV interviewer

307
00:16:54.750 --> 00:16:57.750
and it not all be questions
about whether they're a pedophile.

308
00:16:58.500 --> 00:17:01.833
The interview is packed with
earth-shattering revelations.

309
00:17:01.916 --> 00:17:04.958
I've never looked up my husband online.
I just didn't feel a need to

310
00:17:05.041 --> 00:17:07.958
because everything that I needed to know
he was sharing with me, right?

311
00:17:08.041 --> 00:17:10.125
It's hard to believe
she didn't google him.

312
00:17:10.208 --> 00:17:13.666
I mean, come on, you do that just to find
the best fucking tacos near you,

313
00:17:13.750 --> 00:17:15.041
never mind a husband.

314
00:17:15.125 --> 00:17:18.541
This was the kind of ghastly spectacle
that we've sadly come to expect

315
00:17:18.625 --> 00:17:22.083
from Prince Woke
and the Duchess of Me-Me-Me.

316
00:17:22.166 --> 00:17:25.458
True royals
do not make a spectacle of themselves.

317
00:17:25.541 --> 00:17:26.500
Look at the Queen.

318
00:17:26.583 --> 00:17:29.333
Is she running around going,
"Look at me, look at me"?

319
00:17:29.416 --> 00:17:32.333
[director] She travels
in a golden carriage wearing a crown.

320
00:17:32.416 --> 00:17:34.916
[Foss] That is not showing off.
That is pageantry.

321
00:17:35.000 --> 00:17:37.333
Traditional royal pageantry.

322
00:17:37.416 --> 00:17:38.625
What would you prefer?

323
00:17:38.708 --> 00:17:42.458
That she rides around on
an electric scooter without any socks on?

324
00:17:42.541 --> 00:17:46.083
She is the Queen,
and I believe she deserves our respect.

325
00:17:47.000 --> 00:17:51.416
After the interview, Prince Philip
withdraws from public life permanently,

326
00:17:51.500 --> 00:17:52.958
by dying.

327
00:17:53.041 --> 00:17:54.875
Millions watch the somber funeral

328
00:17:54.958 --> 00:17:59.375
of his Royal Highness Prince Philip,
the Duke of Deadinburgh.

329
00:17:59.458 --> 00:18:02.208
[Foss] Well, obviously,
it was a huge blow to the nation.

330
00:18:02.291 --> 00:18:06.291
And on a personal note,
I shall miss him terribly.

331
00:18:06.375 --> 00:18:07.791
[director] Did you know him?

332
00:18:07.875 --> 00:18:09.166
No, no.

333
00:18:09.250 --> 00:18:11.750
-But you met him on occasion?
-No.

334
00:18:11.833 --> 00:18:13.291
Did you ever maybe stand near him--

335
00:18:13.375 --> 00:18:16.666
He was a wonderful, wonderful character.

336
00:18:16.750 --> 00:18:19.708
[director] He made headlines
for racially insensitive comments.

337
00:18:19.791 --> 00:18:22.041
He was not a racist.

338
00:18:22.125 --> 00:18:24.708
He simply had a racist sense of humor.

339
00:18:25.625 --> 00:18:29.291
Naval Officer Philip could theoretically
have been buried at sea.

340
00:18:29.375 --> 00:18:34.375
But as a new documentary reveals,
the sea is too full to take him.

341
00:18:35.875 --> 00:18:38.458
It was called Seaspiracy, which is odd,

342
00:18:38.541 --> 00:18:41.166
because I thought
all piracy was in the seas.

343
00:18:41.250 --> 00:18:45.875
Seaspiracy explores
the devastation caused by overfishing

344
00:18:45.958 --> 00:18:50.458
in a series of wonderfully vivid
screen savers and desktop backgrounds.

345
00:18:50.541 --> 00:18:55.500
I saw it was all about fish
and I thought, "I love fish… and chips."

346
00:18:55.583 --> 00:18:57.625
Yes, please. I love this.

347
00:18:58.250 --> 00:19:01.166
So I watched it
and now I can't eat fish anymore.

348
00:19:01.750 --> 00:19:07.000
Or chips. In case a dolphin gets killed
by a potato stuck in its blowhole.

349
00:19:07.083 --> 00:19:10.583
You can't watch anything these days
without it putting you off something.

350
00:19:10.666 --> 00:19:12.833
I watched Seaspiracy,
and now I can't eat tuna.

351
00:19:13.416 --> 00:19:17.125
Then I watched My Octopus Teacher,
and now I can't eat teachers.

352
00:19:17.208 --> 00:19:19.500
Every documentary means
one less thing you can eat.

353
00:19:19.583 --> 00:19:23.583
I'm not even going to risk Squid Game
because I love calamari.

354
00:19:23.666 --> 00:19:24.791
[cheering, applause]

355
00:19:24.875 --> 00:19:28.750
Even bleaker than Seaspiracy,
the 93rd Academy Awards,

356
00:19:28.833 --> 00:19:32.833
rendered poignantly unwatchable
by COVID protocols

357
00:19:32.916 --> 00:19:35.958
and a pandemic-chic dress code.

358
00:19:36.041 --> 00:19:38.916
And the Oscar goes to…

359
00:19:42.541 --> 00:19:44.500
[mouthing]

360
00:19:44.583 --> 00:19:46.500
My Octopus Teacher.

361
00:19:46.583 --> 00:19:48.833
So diverse, yet so boring.

362
00:19:48.916 --> 00:19:51.333
You know, I would have called it
"The First Woke Oscars,"

363
00:19:51.416 --> 00:19:53.666
but most viewers
slept through the whole thing.

364
00:19:53.750 --> 00:19:56.041
The new look ceremony
features many innovations,

365
00:19:56.125 --> 00:19:59.375
including,
for the first time in Oscar history,

366
00:19:59.458 --> 00:20:03.083
a moment of reflection for those
who have been canceled this year.

367
00:20:42.166 --> 00:20:44.416
Minneapolis, Minnesota.

368
00:20:44.500 --> 00:20:46.583
In an astonishing break from tradition,

369
00:20:46.666 --> 00:20:51.625
a white police officer faces consequences
for killing a black civilian.

370
00:20:51.708 --> 00:20:53.625
[crowd chanting]

371
00:20:54.333 --> 00:20:58.541
The death in 2020 of George Floyd
sparked intense global protest.

372
00:20:58.625 --> 00:21:01.583
So the trial of his policeman killer,
Derek Chauvin,

373
00:21:01.666 --> 00:21:04.583
sparks intense global coverage.

374
00:21:04.666 --> 00:21:06.291
"I can't breathe."

375
00:21:06.375 --> 00:21:08.291
[speaks German]

376
00:21:08.375 --> 00:21:10.541
[speaking Spanish]

377
00:21:10.625 --> 00:21:12.250
[speaking French]

378
00:21:15.208 --> 00:21:17.916
Coverage inside the courthouse
shows Derek Chauvin

379
00:21:18.000 --> 00:21:20.958
sitting dispassionately
as he is found guilty.

380
00:21:21.041 --> 00:21:23.791
-Outside, news reveals jubilation.
-[crowd cheering]

381
00:21:23.875 --> 00:21:27.000
[reporter] Tonight, the crowd outside
Cup Foods in Minneapolis

382
00:21:27.083 --> 00:21:28.791
erupting in cheers as they learned

383
00:21:28.875 --> 00:21:32.250
of Derek Chauvin's conviction
in George Floyd's death.

384
00:21:32.333 --> 00:21:35.875
Chauvin's attorney argued
his client should receive probation.

385
00:21:35.958 --> 00:21:37.041
He was basically saying,

386
00:21:37.125 --> 00:21:39.291
"We'd like the court
to look into the possibility

387
00:21:39.375 --> 00:21:41.833
of starting an actual civil war."

388
00:21:41.916 --> 00:21:46.208
[narrator] Court TV shows Chauvin
barely reacts as he is led away.

389
00:21:46.291 --> 00:21:50.541
As part of his sentence,
Chauvin was banned from owning firearms.

390
00:21:50.625 --> 00:21:52.291
But he didn't shoot George Floyd.

391
00:21:52.875 --> 00:21:54.791
If the court really wanted justice,

392
00:21:54.875 --> 00:21:57.416
they should have chopped off
his fucking knees.

393
00:21:59.500 --> 00:22:00.666
Spring.

394
00:22:00.750 --> 00:22:03.208
Vaccination programs
are blossoming around the world.

395
00:22:03.291 --> 00:22:08.250
But in the US, glum news reports reveal
that take-up is faltering

396
00:22:08.333 --> 00:22:10.833
along traditional political fault lines.

397
00:22:10.916 --> 00:22:13.916
One segment of the population
remains steadfast

398
00:22:14.000 --> 00:22:17.458
in their opposition to getting a vaccine:
Republicans.

399
00:22:17.541 --> 00:22:21.416
In a switch from tradition,
it appears Democrats are now proud

400
00:22:21.500 --> 00:22:26.500
to invoke their right to bare arms,
while Republicans start to reject pricks.

401
00:22:26.583 --> 00:22:29.458
When they run out of guinea pigs, call me.

402
00:22:30.250 --> 00:22:31.708
One fascinating NBC poll said that

403
00:22:31.791 --> 00:22:35.958
the vaccine would be refused
by 47% of Trump supporters.

404
00:22:36.041 --> 00:22:38.625
Or, as he put it, a majority.

405
00:22:38.708 --> 00:22:42.041
Young people too
are failing to roll up their sleeves

406
00:22:42.125 --> 00:22:45.291
to roll up their sleeves
and get the vaccine.

407
00:22:45.375 --> 00:22:49.250
[reporter] A 100-dollar savings bond
in West Virginia.

408
00:22:49.333 --> 00:22:54.583
The media excitedly reveal incentives
for the hard-to-vax Gen Z demographic.

409
00:22:54.666 --> 00:22:58.750
[reporter] Doughnuts from Krispy Kreme,
Shake Shack fries in New York City.

410
00:22:58.833 --> 00:23:01.500
You just think of this
when you think of vaccination.

411
00:23:01.583 --> 00:23:02.875
Mmm!

412
00:23:02.958 --> 00:23:06.041
Krispy Kreme offered free doughnuts
to the vaccinated.

413
00:23:06.125 --> 00:23:09.708
So, by 2022, 98% of the US population

414
00:23:09.791 --> 00:23:13.791
will either have COVID-19,
or type two diabetes.

415
00:23:13.875 --> 00:23:15.750
-[drums beating]
-[crowd chanting] Just say no!

416
00:23:15.833 --> 00:23:17.333
Just say no!

417
00:23:17.416 --> 00:23:20.833
But the biggest threat
to vaccination programs?

418
00:23:20.916 --> 00:23:24.750
Nonsensical anti-vax theories which
spread quickly from person to person,

419
00:23:25.500 --> 00:23:28.666
like something for which
there is no obvious metaphor.

420
00:23:28.750 --> 00:23:31.416
Absurd theories are epidemic.

421
00:23:31.500 --> 00:23:35.333
I don't just lap up
whatever the medical establishment says.

422
00:23:35.416 --> 00:23:37.916
I have been doing my own research.

423
00:23:38.000 --> 00:23:42.708
Are they using the vaccine
to change our American DNA from within?

424
00:23:43.583 --> 00:23:45.458
Just asking questions.

425
00:23:45.541 --> 00:23:48.583
[director] So, are you vaccinated, Kathy?

426
00:23:48.666 --> 00:23:54.416
I refused to have the vaccine, twice.
So, I am double non-vaxxed.

427
00:23:54.500 --> 00:24:01.125
And you know what? [chuckles] Yeah.
I did get some "COVID-like symptoms."

428
00:24:01.208 --> 00:24:05.625
I got a small-to-medium sniffle
and a medium-to-heavy cough

429
00:24:05.708 --> 00:24:10.166
and a low-to-very-low oxygen count.

430
00:24:11.333 --> 00:24:15.833
Did you have these COVID symptoms
the day you went shopping without a mask?

431
00:24:15.916 --> 00:24:18.916
So this is great.
This guy wants me to put a mask on.

432
00:24:19.000 --> 00:24:23.833
That's a deep-state elitist dress code
and you can't make me wear one. Okay?

433
00:24:23.916 --> 00:24:26.500
Ma'am, you can't enter the store
without wearing a mask.

434
00:24:26.583 --> 00:24:29.541
With your mouth covering,
I actually can't read what you're saying.

435
00:24:29.625 --> 00:24:32.041
[director] Later that day,
you picketed a vaccine center.

436
00:24:32.125 --> 00:24:37.125
My body, my choice. My body…
My body, my choice.

437
00:24:37.208 --> 00:24:40.625
[director] Fifteen people
got COVID from you that day,

438
00:24:40.708 --> 00:24:43.083
and then you had a party.

439
00:24:43.166 --> 00:24:44.791
It was a COVID reveal party.

440
00:24:45.500 --> 00:24:47.958
[gasps] Oh! I have it!

441
00:24:48.041 --> 00:24:51.458
[laughs] I have COVID. [coughs]

442
00:24:51.541 --> 00:24:54.458
Oh, come on. It's just COVID.

443
00:24:54.541 --> 00:24:56.583
[director] And how do you feel now?

444
00:24:57.250 --> 00:24:58.541
I feel fine.

445
00:24:59.750 --> 00:25:01.833
It's not actually that bad of a disease.

446
00:25:01.916 --> 00:25:04.375
You know, it's just like
having a light summer cold.

447
00:25:04.458 --> 00:25:08.625
Except that maybe you need a machine
to help keep you alive. [giggles]

448
00:25:08.708 --> 00:25:10.416
-[machine beeping]
-I won't wear a mask.

449
00:25:10.500 --> 00:25:12.333
Take your hands off me. [gasping]

450
00:25:12.416 --> 00:25:17.291
Social media networks are accused
of profiting from vaccine misinformation.

451
00:25:17.375 --> 00:25:20.958
Actually, one of the less toxic
accusations they faced this year.

452
00:25:21.041 --> 00:25:23.833
[director] Why haven't you done more
to stop the spread of anti-vax lies

453
00:25:23.916 --> 00:25:26.041
on your social media platform YipYakker?

454
00:25:26.125 --> 00:25:31.541
Well, to take a step back, truth and lies
are really just conflicting data streams.

455
00:25:31.625 --> 00:25:33.833
Different sides of the same coin.

456
00:25:33.916 --> 00:25:38.333
I know our users value the freedom
to flip that coin themselves.

457
00:25:39.375 --> 00:25:40.708
[director] But people could die.

458
00:25:40.791 --> 00:25:43.666
Dying to protect free speech
sounds like a noble calling.

459
00:25:44.375 --> 00:25:46.083
[director] What about not dying at all?

460
00:25:46.166 --> 00:25:48.916
It should be obvious
that we don't want our users to die.

461
00:25:50.625 --> 00:25:52.541
Our share price would crumble.

462
00:25:52.625 --> 00:25:58.125
Yet, even in the face of refuseniks,
vaccines prove effective.

463
00:25:58.208 --> 00:26:00.916
Cautiously, lockdowns are unlocked.

464
00:26:01.000 --> 00:26:02.750
It was great to get a vaccine.

465
00:26:02.833 --> 00:26:06.583
It made me feel safe enough
to maybe do a few social things.

466
00:26:06.666 --> 00:26:08.250
Oh, look! Who's that actor?

467
00:26:08.333 --> 00:26:10.458
He was in that thing with that woman.

468
00:26:11.375 --> 00:26:15.916
We are allowed our freedom,
but it is now too dangerous to go outside.

469
00:26:16.000 --> 00:26:21.375
Sizzling reports reveal the weather is
starting its annual jihad against mankind.

470
00:26:21.458 --> 00:26:24.833
[reporter] The oppressive,
stifling heat wave searing the West

471
00:26:24.916 --> 00:26:28.541
is tonight delivering some of the most
dangerous temperatures of the year.

472
00:26:28.625 --> 00:26:31.625
Canada reports its highest temperature
of all time,

473
00:26:31.708 --> 00:26:36.375
causing some residents to remove their
thick plaid shirts before they catch fire.

474
00:26:36.458 --> 00:26:41.250
The weather forecast shows a map
that looks like America is in flames.

475
00:26:41.333 --> 00:26:43.416
Because it is.

476
00:26:43.500 --> 00:26:47.125
So what if we just had
the world's hottest day?

477
00:26:47.708 --> 00:26:52.333
Every year has a hottest day.
That's how hottest days work.

478
00:26:52.416 --> 00:26:54.000
We also had a coldest day.

479
00:26:54.083 --> 00:26:56.500
Does that mean
it's getting colder or hotter?

480
00:26:57.416 --> 00:26:58.625
I'm just asking questions.

481
00:26:58.708 --> 00:27:02.333
Heavy rain in Australia
leads to a bumper harvest…

482
00:27:02.416 --> 00:27:03.791
of mice.

483
00:27:03.875 --> 00:27:05.416
[reporter] On dark and on cue,

484
00:27:05.500 --> 00:27:10.625
they're here in their thousands,
scurrying, scratching, stinking mice.

485
00:27:11.625 --> 00:27:15.041
This isn't a mouse problem.
It's a mouse plague.

486
00:27:15.708 --> 00:27:18.833
The macabre news only intensifies

487
00:27:18.916 --> 00:27:23.333
as pest controllers release snakes
in an attempt to control the plague.

488
00:27:23.416 --> 00:27:26.750
The snakes must have been thinking,
"Now humans want our help?

489
00:27:26.833 --> 00:27:29.166
Because normally
they're really on our backs."

490
00:27:29.791 --> 00:27:32.958
That's half the snakes,
because all snakes really are is backs.

491
00:27:35.625 --> 00:27:40.041
Biblical floods in Germany
put the town of Kreuzberg on the map

492
00:27:40.125 --> 00:27:42.833
while simultaneously washing it off it.

493
00:27:45.750 --> 00:27:48.000
When I was little,
the weather was well-behaved.

494
00:27:48.083 --> 00:27:50.666
You know, it mainly stayed in the sky
where it belongs.

495
00:27:50.750 --> 00:27:52.583
But now it's been radicalized.

496
00:27:52.666 --> 00:27:55.875
It's carrying out extremist
weather attacks all over the shop.

497
00:27:57.583 --> 00:28:02.416
Weatherism. Is that the word for it?
Don't know why it's so angry.

498
00:28:02.500 --> 00:28:05.916
Maybe it's been spending
too much time on social media.

499
00:28:06.000 --> 00:28:09.958
No, we've tried pumping all those gases
into the sky to calm it down.

500
00:28:10.041 --> 00:28:14.125
Decades we've been doing our best at that.
Hasn't worked.

501
00:28:14.208 --> 00:28:18.708
Then, in news footage
as mesmerizing as it is apocalyptic,

502
00:28:18.791 --> 00:28:22.333
water, previously considered
the opposite of fire,

503
00:28:22.416 --> 00:28:25.375
bursts into flames in the Gulf of Mexico.

504
00:28:25.458 --> 00:28:27.750
[director] Are you worried about
climate change, Gemma?

505
00:28:27.833 --> 00:28:30.208
It makes me a bit anxious, yeah.

506
00:28:30.291 --> 00:28:33.708
But only about a fifth
as when I can't find my phone.

507
00:28:33.791 --> 00:28:38.250
I suppose the sea literally burning should
probably worry me more than that, but…

508
00:28:38.333 --> 00:28:42.708
Actually, where is my phone?
Can someone ring it? Oh, it's--

509
00:28:42.791 --> 00:28:47.500
Yeah, panic over. See? It's all okay now.

510
00:28:48.208 --> 00:28:50.416
[director]
Apart from the sea being on fire.

511
00:28:50.500 --> 00:28:51.666
Eh?

512
00:28:52.791 --> 00:28:56.083
With life on Earth
looking increasingly precarious,

513
00:28:56.166 --> 00:29:00.916
thoughts turned to how to protect
our most beautiful and precious resource.

514
00:29:01.791 --> 00:29:07.791
Billionaires, the mega-rich star
in self-funded, self-promoting,

515
00:29:07.875 --> 00:29:10.833
self-indulgent space extravaganzas,

516
00:29:10.916 --> 00:29:15.125
shooting themselves as far from
the dying planet as coins will allow.

517
00:29:17.583 --> 00:29:21.708
[Parker] Astronauts used to be selected
based on merit, suitability,

518
00:29:21.791 --> 00:29:23.208
and the right stuff.

519
00:29:23.291 --> 00:29:27.500
Now it's mega-rich publicity magnates.
It's the Price is Right stuff.

520
00:29:27.583 --> 00:29:31.750
[commentator]
Astronaut 001, Richard Branson.

521
00:29:33.666 --> 00:29:39.125
First to depart Earth and star in his own
Out of This World Corporate Special,

522
00:29:39.208 --> 00:29:42.958
Pirate King Richard Branson
in his Virgin Galactic Craft.

523
00:29:43.041 --> 00:29:47.541
[crew member] Three, two, one.
Release, release, release.

524
00:29:47.625 --> 00:29:50.375
[Madison]
Oh, it's an inspiring age of trailblazers.

525
00:29:50.458 --> 00:29:52.541
Yuri Gagarin was the first man in space.

526
00:29:52.625 --> 00:29:55.583
Alan Shepard,
the first American man in space.

527
00:29:55.666 --> 00:30:00.000
And now we got Richard Branson,
the first unnecessary man in space.

528
00:30:00.083 --> 00:30:04.750
I was once a child with a dream.
Now I'm an adult in a spaceship.

529
00:30:08.000 --> 00:30:10.708
[narrator] Days later,
more astonishing scenes.

530
00:30:10.791 --> 00:30:16.208
As the gentrification of space continues,
another rich kid's dream is live-streamed

531
00:30:16.291 --> 00:30:21.708
as ultra-billionaire
and world's most eligible skull Jeff Bezos

532
00:30:21.791 --> 00:30:25.833
blasts off inside a rocket-powered
Freudian metaphor,

533
00:30:25.916 --> 00:30:29.750
every suggestive moment
captured for a smirking public.

534
00:30:29.833 --> 00:30:32.500
[viewer] Go, Jeff! You are going to space.

535
00:30:34.250 --> 00:30:39.666
There was much schoolboys' sniggering
about the shape of Mr. Bezos's craft.

536
00:30:39.750 --> 00:30:43.125
But I felt, watching the launch,
that there was something

537
00:30:43.208 --> 00:30:46.375
really rather poetic
and inspiring about it.

538
00:30:46.458 --> 00:30:51.750
This self-made man proudly thrusting
his penis into the heavens,

539
00:30:51.833 --> 00:30:54.916
free from shame,
defying the gods themselves

540
00:30:55.000 --> 00:30:58.541
with this immense blazing phallus

541
00:30:58.625 --> 00:31:01.625
while the rest of the world
looked on in awe.

542
00:31:02.500 --> 00:31:05.833
[director] Do you think the ship would
have been better if it also had balls?

543
00:31:05.916 --> 00:31:07.625
Oh, I think so. Yes. Yes.

544
00:31:08.791 --> 00:31:12.958
The size of the spacecraft is misleading
in these fascinating images.

545
00:31:13.041 --> 00:31:16.708
Bezos and his fellow passengers
are confined to the rocket's glans

546
00:31:16.791 --> 00:31:21.125
for the duration of the mission,
as this intimate footage discloses.

547
00:31:23.125 --> 00:31:25.166
-Yeah! Well done.
-Yeah!

548
00:31:25.250 --> 00:31:27.166
-Who wants a Skittle?
-Oh, yeah, yeah.

549
00:31:29.208 --> 00:31:30.458
[crew member] William Shatner?

550
00:31:30.541 --> 00:31:34.166
Later in the year,
Bezos's publicity machine captures

551
00:31:34.250 --> 00:31:38.125
every second of the most postmodern
space tourists so far.

552
00:31:38.208 --> 00:31:43.208
Star Trek's William Shatner
is blasted into the Ironicosphere.

553
00:31:43.291 --> 00:31:46.708
It is absurd
that Shatner was blasted into orbit

554
00:31:46.791 --> 00:31:49.833
simply because
he once played a spaceman on TV.

555
00:31:49.916 --> 00:31:55.125
In my youth, I once played a very
well-received Reverend Canon Chasuble

556
00:31:55.208 --> 00:31:58.833
in my college production
of The Importance of Being Earnest.

557
00:31:58.916 --> 00:32:02.208
I got rather more laughs
than some of the principal characters,

558
00:32:02.291 --> 00:32:04.166
as I seem to remember.

559
00:32:04.250 --> 00:32:08.375
Um… But… But…

560
00:32:10.125 --> 00:32:14.125
But… But just because
I once played a clergyman,

561
00:32:14.208 --> 00:32:18.666
does that mean I should now be allowed
to officiate at weddings and at funerals?

562
00:32:18.750 --> 00:32:20.125
I don't think it does.

563
00:32:21.791 --> 00:32:25.833
Back on Earth's fragile crust,
the starting pistol is finally fired

564
00:32:25.916 --> 00:32:29.625
on perfect humans' trade show,
the Olympics.

565
00:32:31.166 --> 00:32:34.041
Everyone was really looking forward to it
because the Olympics

566
00:32:34.125 --> 00:32:38.416
is one of the few genuinely global events
that isn't a pandemic.

567
00:32:38.500 --> 00:32:40.458
As the news excitedly reports,

568
00:32:40.541 --> 00:32:44.041
there is something lacking
from the Tokyo installment:

569
00:32:44.125 --> 00:32:45.375
people.

570
00:32:45.458 --> 00:32:48.333
[announcer] It's happening.
A year later than we imagined

571
00:32:48.416 --> 00:32:52.541
in front of empty seats
and under an inescapable shadow of COVID.

572
00:32:54.041 --> 00:32:56.708
[narrator] The world enjoys
a haunting sporting spectacle.

573
00:32:56.791 --> 00:33:01.125
But when US star Simone Biles
pulls out of her gymnastics event,

574
00:33:01.208 --> 00:33:04.333
her mental health issues
dominate the news.

575
00:33:05.333 --> 00:33:07.666
Gymnast Simone Biles,
the greatest of all time,

576
00:33:07.750 --> 00:33:11.416
is withdrawing from another Olympic event
to focus on her mental health.

577
00:33:11.500 --> 00:33:14.208
Yeah, I can see why she didn't want to
go through with her routine.

578
00:33:14.291 --> 00:33:18.250
She just… She wasn't happy.

579
00:33:18.333 --> 00:33:20.625
You know, sad people,
they don't do acceptable cartwheels.

580
00:33:20.708 --> 00:33:23.416
And even when they try,
the overall effect is kind of bittersweet.

581
00:33:24.458 --> 00:33:28.083
The Afghan team
failed to win a medal in Tokyo,

582
00:33:28.166 --> 00:33:30.500
but at home in Afghanistan,

583
00:33:30.583 --> 00:33:33.791
the Taliban are about to take gold
in the shooting.

584
00:33:33.875 --> 00:33:35.875
[firing]

585
00:33:35.958 --> 00:33:38.875
Afghanistan has been riven by conflict
for centuries,

586
00:33:38.958 --> 00:33:42.416
despite intensive meddling
by Western powers.

587
00:33:42.500 --> 00:33:45.958
Afghanistan, or more correctly,
Af-khan-istan,

588
00:33:46.041 --> 00:33:48.166
is called the graveyard of empires.

589
00:33:48.250 --> 00:33:51.583
The British Empire failed there,
the Soviet Empire failed there,

590
00:33:51.666 --> 00:33:53.458
even the Galactic Empire failed

591
00:33:53.541 --> 00:33:56.541
despite the dynamic leadership
of Lord Vader.

592
00:33:56.625 --> 00:33:58.125
[director] But that's…

593
00:33:58.208 --> 00:34:00.750
-What?
-Never mind.

594
00:34:00.833 --> 00:34:06.083
In 2020, President Trump done did
do a deal with fellow feminists,

595
00:34:06.166 --> 00:34:07.166
the Taliban.

596
00:34:07.250 --> 00:34:11.541
For two decades, we've been searching
for a military solution to Afghanistan,

597
00:34:11.625 --> 00:34:12.875
and then we found one:

598
00:34:12.958 --> 00:34:14.625
run away.

599
00:34:14.708 --> 00:34:16.750
Submission accomplished.

600
00:34:17.916 --> 00:34:22.500
President Biden announces
a full US withdrawal by September 11th,

601
00:34:23.125 --> 00:34:24.916
freeing future history students

602
00:34:25.000 --> 00:34:28.750
from the tyranny of memorizing
too many different dates.

603
00:34:30.250 --> 00:34:33.333
I suppose the American soldiers
are like everyone else these days

604
00:34:33.416 --> 00:34:34.833
and want to work from home.

605
00:34:35.500 --> 00:34:38.791
The pace of the US withdrawal
surprises everyone.

606
00:34:38.875 --> 00:34:40.916
Last time a president
pulled out that quickly

607
00:34:41.000 --> 00:34:42.916
was during the Clinton administration.

608
00:34:43.666 --> 00:34:47.916
That's a sex joke about a tragedy.
I'm not proud of myself for that one. Ugh.

609
00:34:48.708 --> 00:34:51.666
US troops vacate Bagram Air Base,

610
00:34:51.750 --> 00:34:56.208
leaving it in disarray
and sending their Airbnb rating crashing.

611
00:34:56.291 --> 00:35:00.000
Is the Taliban takeover of Afghanistan
now inevitable?

612
00:35:00.083 --> 00:35:02.041
No. It is not.

613
00:35:02.583 --> 00:35:04.916
But Biden couldn't be more wrong.

614
00:35:05.000 --> 00:35:06.416
[protestors shouting]

615
00:35:06.500 --> 00:35:08.541
The Taliban quickly take Kabul.

616
00:35:08.625 --> 00:35:10.041
[gunfire]

617
00:35:10.125 --> 00:35:13.500
[reporter] They captured Kabul
with comparatively few fighters,

618
00:35:13.583 --> 00:35:17.833
but say 10,000 reinforcements
will soon be here

619
00:35:17.916 --> 00:35:20.500
to completely dominate the capital.

620
00:35:21.291 --> 00:35:23.375
[narrator] The new Taliban
claim to come in peace,

621
00:35:23.458 --> 00:35:25.000
a point they're keen to press home

622
00:35:25.083 --> 00:35:28.583
with a charm offensive
on Afghan nightly news.

623
00:35:28.666 --> 00:35:30.583
[speaking Dari]

624
00:35:36.291 --> 00:35:40.625
There's agonizing footage
as anxious Afghans flee the city.

625
00:35:40.708 --> 00:35:42.416
[crowd shouting]

626
00:35:44.458 --> 00:35:48.083
On the 31st of August,
with the Taliban in control,

627
00:35:48.166 --> 00:35:51.375
the last American soldier
leaves Afghanistan in the dark…

628
00:35:52.041 --> 00:35:53.083
ages.

629
00:35:53.166 --> 00:35:55.375
I know they scare women and whatever,

630
00:35:55.458 --> 00:36:01.791
but actually, looking at their socials,
the 'Ban seem pretty chill.

631
00:36:01.875 --> 00:36:05.458
Okay, guys. So today I'm checking out
some of the actual shots of the Taliban.

632
00:36:05.541 --> 00:36:07.083
Let's see what the boogeyman is up to.

633
00:36:08.750 --> 00:36:10.208
Cool. So they go boating.

634
00:36:10.291 --> 00:36:13.125
Hitting the merry-go-round. Love it.

635
00:36:13.208 --> 00:36:14.375
At the gym.

636
00:36:15.041 --> 00:36:16.333
Got to work on those guns.

637
00:36:16.416 --> 00:36:18.291
-[gunfire]
-Yeah, they sure do like guns.

638
00:36:19.291 --> 00:36:21.875
That's a lot of guns.
This video should have a trigger warning.

639
00:36:21.958 --> 00:36:23.375
[chuckles] It's a gun joke, guys.

640
00:36:24.458 --> 00:36:27.458
I think they're trying to shoot
our western god from the sky.

641
00:36:27.541 --> 00:36:29.000
Man, you guys are cray-cray.

642
00:36:29.791 --> 00:36:32.166
Okay, so, well, there you go, ladies.
I've checked it out.

643
00:36:32.250 --> 00:36:34.625
The Taliban, they like to party
and they love their guns,

644
00:36:34.708 --> 00:36:37.666
but looks like to me that they're
no bigger threat to you and your rights

645
00:36:37.750 --> 00:36:39.000
than the US Supreme Court.

646
00:36:39.083 --> 00:36:42.875
Peace out. Like and subscribe.
Goolies #TheFoolies.

647
00:36:45.541 --> 00:36:48.583
Also intent on turning back the clock,

648
00:36:48.666 --> 00:36:52.916
another failed state
ruled by fundamentalist extremists

649
00:36:53.000 --> 00:36:56.250
who use religious dogma
to restrict women's freedom:

650
00:36:56.791 --> 00:36:58.375
Texas.

651
00:36:58.458 --> 00:37:02.583
Stark news reports reveal
the state's strict new abortion law.

652
00:37:02.666 --> 00:37:05.625
Texas's sweeping new abortion law
now in effect,

653
00:37:05.708 --> 00:37:08.083
the Supreme Court
deciding not to block the measure

654
00:37:08.166 --> 00:37:10.500
which bans abortions after six weeks.

655
00:37:10.583 --> 00:37:12.416
They call it the Heartbeat Act,

656
00:37:12.500 --> 00:37:15.625
but you can't hear a heartbeat
in any of the lawmakers.

657
00:37:15.708 --> 00:37:20.333
Instructive reports reveal there is money
to be made from abortion spotting.

658
00:37:20.416 --> 00:37:23.208
The law also allows private citizens
to bring civil suits

659
00:37:23.291 --> 00:37:26.750
against anyone who assists
a pregnant person seeking an abortion.

660
00:37:26.833 --> 00:37:29.875
Informing on your neighbor
is a very Christian practice.

661
00:37:30.458 --> 00:37:34.500
If Jesus had never been snitched on,
he'd never have ended up on a cross.

662
00:37:34.583 --> 00:37:38.291
Well, I wanted the women of Texas
to know that I was totally on their side.

663
00:37:39.083 --> 00:37:42.500
I did some digging
and I DMed some Texan girls

664
00:37:42.583 --> 00:37:45.416
and I just let 'em know
that I was here for 'em

665
00:37:45.500 --> 00:37:49.416
and that if they wanted to meet up
or talk about their sexual choices,

666
00:37:49.500 --> 00:37:51.041
that I was really open to that.

667
00:37:52.041 --> 00:37:54.208
And I didn't hear
from any of them, though.

668
00:37:55.083 --> 00:37:58.541
But that just shows you that this is
really all being pushed underground.

669
00:37:59.833 --> 00:38:02.375
The 20th anniversary of 9/11.

670
00:38:02.458 --> 00:38:05.416
President Biden attends
a poignant remembrance ceremony

671
00:38:05.500 --> 00:38:07.041
alongside former presidents.

672
00:38:07.125 --> 00:38:12.875
Trump marks the day with a somber,
respectful pay-per-view boxing commentary.

673
00:38:13.416 --> 00:38:15.375
I've had a lot of fights
and I like fighters

674
00:38:15.458 --> 00:38:18.541
and I like the toughness of fighters,
they don't play games.

675
00:38:18.625 --> 00:38:22.958
Riding a wave of nostalgia,
Trump continues to peddle lies

676
00:38:23.041 --> 00:38:27.375
at fist-pumping, COVID-spiking,
news-making rallies.

677
00:38:27.458 --> 00:38:30.041
Make America great again, again.

678
00:38:30.125 --> 00:38:32.000
-[crowd cheering]
-Again, again.

679
00:38:32.083 --> 00:38:34.333
Trump never seems
to have properly gone away.

680
00:38:34.416 --> 00:38:38.416
If there is a deep state,
they're not doing a very good job.

681
00:38:39.833 --> 00:38:44.416
Biden receives a boost
as news surfaces of a new submarine pact

682
00:38:44.500 --> 00:38:50.708
between Australia, the UK and the US,
dubbed AUKUS.

683
00:38:50.791 --> 00:38:53.250
AUKUS sounds strange
and all these acronyms--

684
00:38:53.333 --> 00:38:54.625
It's a good one.

685
00:38:54.708 --> 00:38:58.000
But correspondents reveal
a diplomatic faux pas.

686
00:38:58.083 --> 00:38:59.458
The French are absolutely furious

687
00:38:59.541 --> 00:39:02.291
because they have put
years of high-level talks

688
00:39:02.375 --> 00:39:05.291
and high-level diplomacy into this
up to the highest levels of state.

689
00:39:05.375 --> 00:39:07.041
The French thought
they should be involved,

690
00:39:07.583 --> 00:39:10.166
but then it would be "FAUKUS."

691
00:39:10.250 --> 00:39:13.625
"Fuck us"? Are you kidding?
We'd be laughed off the face of the globe.

692
00:39:13.708 --> 00:39:18.416
Why not get India, Thailand,
Armenia and Samoa involved too?

693
00:39:18.500 --> 00:39:20.375
Then it could be "FAUKUS IN THE ARSE."

694
00:39:21.333 --> 00:39:23.541
Well, that took
quite a lot of working out.

695
00:39:23.625 --> 00:39:25.000
I hope you keep it in.

696
00:39:27.916 --> 00:39:31.666
As vaccines hold COVID
at vaccinated arm's length,

697
00:39:31.750 --> 00:39:34.416
green shoots of pop culture emerge.

698
00:39:34.500 --> 00:39:38.791
Daniel Craig's epic final James Bond film,
No Time to Die,

699
00:39:38.875 --> 00:39:40.875
belatedly arrives in theaters.

700
00:39:40.958 --> 00:39:45.458
The contemporary interpretation of Bond is
filled with trademark stunts and thrills,

701
00:39:45.541 --> 00:39:50.875
but features 65% less misogyny,
and has been gathering dust for a while.

702
00:39:51.916 --> 00:39:53.708
You can imagine
why I've come back to play.

703
00:39:53.791 --> 00:39:55.708
The delay was worrying.

704
00:39:55.791 --> 00:39:58.333
Daniel Craig was much younger
when they made it.

705
00:39:58.416 --> 00:40:01.333
Now he's older. He's going to find it
much harder to do the stunts

706
00:40:01.416 --> 00:40:03.458
than when he first filmed them.

707
00:40:03.541 --> 00:40:06.333
[director] Um, it doesn't matter
how long ago it was filmed.

708
00:40:06.416 --> 00:40:08.750
He'll be same age in the footage.

709
00:40:08.833 --> 00:40:10.125
You sure about that?

710
00:40:10.750 --> 00:40:13.625
Because when I watched
the Roger Moore ones,

711
00:40:13.708 --> 00:40:17.166
Bond looks about 40 years older
than the women he's attacking

712
00:40:18.041 --> 00:40:19.958
whereas at the time, it was fine.

713
00:40:20.833 --> 00:40:25.958
No Time to Die proves a success
in luring audiences back into the theaters

714
00:40:26.041 --> 00:40:29.125
for the communal experience
of watching Bond kill people,

715
00:40:29.208 --> 00:40:31.833
get out of cars and look handsome.

716
00:40:31.916 --> 00:40:33.333
I forgot what cinemas were like.

717
00:40:33.416 --> 00:40:35.750
You can't pause the film
when you need the loo.

718
00:40:35.833 --> 00:40:37.666
So I had to go right there in the seat.

719
00:40:39.125 --> 00:40:41.500
I'd forgotten. That's not okay, either.

720
00:40:41.583 --> 00:40:43.791
I enjoyed watching it on the big screen.

721
00:40:43.875 --> 00:40:45.916
And as a thriller, it was genuinely tense

722
00:40:46.000 --> 00:40:49.083
because a dry cough
kept echoing around the movie theater.

723
00:40:49.166 --> 00:40:53.583
Showbiz coverage of Craig's swan song
reignites predictable speculation

724
00:40:53.666 --> 00:40:55.666
over who the next Bond will be,

725
00:40:55.750 --> 00:40:58.250
even though it would help
his undercover work

726
00:40:58.333 --> 00:41:01.208
if his identity was never revealed.

727
00:41:01.291 --> 00:41:05.416
The latest 007, Daniel Craig,
said he's ready to move on from the role,

728
00:41:05.500 --> 00:41:08.708
and now fans are betting big
on who could take over.

729
00:41:08.791 --> 00:41:10.791
Anyone can play James Bond.

730
00:41:10.875 --> 00:41:16.708
And by anyone, I mean any white male
aged approximately 35 to 50.

731
00:41:16.791 --> 00:41:18.666
[director]
Would you consider playing the role?

732
00:41:18.750 --> 00:41:22.041
[scoffs] Well, there is not much point
in me even applying, is there?

733
00:41:22.125 --> 00:41:24.791
Because they do not want
people like me anymore.

734
00:41:24.875 --> 00:41:28.041
Now it is James Bond double-woke-seven.

735
00:41:28.125 --> 00:41:31.250
The name is Bond, James Bond. He/him.

736
00:41:31.333 --> 00:41:33.375
They've ruined the character, of course.

737
00:41:33.458 --> 00:41:35.500
You do know
he spends the entire latest film

738
00:41:35.583 --> 00:41:37.958
wearing a dress
and taking mindfulness breaks.

739
00:41:38.041 --> 00:41:39.666
[director] I don't think that's true.

740
00:41:39.750 --> 00:41:42.041
Well, I haven't seen it,
and I don't intend to.

741
00:41:42.125 --> 00:41:47.083
It is ridiculous, this liberal Taliban
tearing down great men like Bond

742
00:41:47.166 --> 00:41:48.333
as if they were mere statues.

743
00:41:48.416 --> 00:41:51.500
And, of course, you can't even call them
great men anymore.

744
00:41:51.583 --> 00:41:54.375
No, no, they are women without cervices.

745
00:41:54.458 --> 00:41:58.416
They are destroying everything,
and I mean everything.

746
00:41:58.500 --> 00:42:01.041
-Who do you mean by "they"?
-They, them.

747
00:42:01.708 --> 00:42:04.208
-And are those their pronouns?
-Oh, do fuck off.

748
00:42:05.041 --> 00:42:07.208
But the biggest screen hit of the year

749
00:42:07.291 --> 00:42:09.916
is disturbing South Korean
splatter jamboree…

750
00:42:10.583 --> 00:42:12.291
Squid Game.

751
00:42:12.375 --> 00:42:13.750
[screaming]

752
00:42:14.791 --> 00:42:16.250
I loved it.

753
00:42:16.333 --> 00:42:19.791
It was a sort of
Korean Great British Bake Off.

754
00:42:19.875 --> 00:42:21.708
There were high-pressure challenges…

755
00:42:21.791 --> 00:42:24.208
-[grunting]
-[screaming]

756
00:42:24.291 --> 00:42:26.125
…expressionless hosts…

757
00:42:26.208 --> 00:42:28.458
[speaking Korean]

758
00:42:29.625 --> 00:42:31.583
…shock eliminations…

759
00:42:31.666 --> 00:42:32.750
[screaming]

760
00:42:32.833 --> 00:42:35.250
…and, of course, lots of biscuits.

761
00:42:36.250 --> 00:42:37.916
I might have a go at making them myself.

762
00:42:38.000 --> 00:42:39.500
Nom, nom, nom.

763
00:42:40.375 --> 00:42:41.500
Is that what you say?

764
00:42:41.583 --> 00:42:43.041
Here we go again.

765
00:42:43.125 --> 00:42:46.166
Another TV drama
with an absurdly diverse cast.

766
00:42:46.250 --> 00:42:47.750
All Asian?

767
00:42:47.833 --> 00:42:50.875
Really?
When does that happen in real life?

768
00:42:50.958 --> 00:42:52.541
It's simply not believable.

769
00:42:52.625 --> 00:42:55.500
And yet, of course,
the baddies are privileged white men.

770
00:42:55.583 --> 00:42:57.708
How does that reflect society?

771
00:42:57.791 --> 00:42:59.125
[grunts]

772
00:42:59.208 --> 00:43:01.333
The whole thing was hyper-woke.

773
00:43:01.416 --> 00:43:05.083
The guards wore masks
over their whole goddamn faces.

774
00:43:05.166 --> 00:43:06.708
[humming Squid Game theme]

775
00:43:06.791 --> 00:43:10.875
The dystopian drama generates
finger-pointing news reports.

776
00:43:10.958 --> 00:43:13.000
It is very, very violent.

777
00:43:13.083 --> 00:43:15.125
It's fiction, obviously,
and it's meant for adults,

778
00:43:15.208 --> 00:43:18.625
but that, unfortunately, has not stopped
children from gaining access to it.

779
00:43:18.708 --> 00:43:20.375
Children should not be watching
Squid Game.

780
00:43:20.458 --> 00:43:25.375
Do we really want our kids growing up
speaking Korean with English subtitles?

781
00:43:25.458 --> 00:43:28.791
You'd think parents would be glad their
kids are playing actual physical games

782
00:43:28.875 --> 00:43:30.750
rather than just staring
at a screen all day.

783
00:43:31.875 --> 00:43:34.583
Even if it does
stop them sleeping at night.

784
00:43:34.666 --> 00:43:39.333
But mankind's long-cherished ability
to relentlessly share and comment

785
00:43:39.416 --> 00:43:43.208
on hilarious Squid Game memes
suddenly crashes to a halt

786
00:43:43.291 --> 00:43:48.250
when, in the most shocking event of 2021,
Facebook stops working for a bit.

787
00:43:51.125 --> 00:43:55.333
The new-media outage
overjoys a gloating old media.

788
00:43:55.416 --> 00:43:59.083
Tonight, The Massive Outage:
Facebook, Instagram and WhatsApp.

789
00:43:59.166 --> 00:44:02.375
When Facebook went down,
I immediately did a reaction video for it.

790
00:44:02.458 --> 00:44:04.416
No!

791
00:44:04.500 --> 00:44:07.250
But I was really limited
in where I could post it.

792
00:44:07.333 --> 00:44:10.375
For a few hours,
with nobody validating their existence,

793
00:44:10.458 --> 00:44:13.000
many users assumed they had died.

794
00:44:13.083 --> 00:44:14.666
None of us could use social media.

795
00:44:14.750 --> 00:44:16.708
It was like being Donald Trump
for an afternoon.

796
00:44:16.791 --> 00:44:20.333
It was a horrible few hours.
I kept staring at my phone,

797
00:44:20.416 --> 00:44:22.416
wondering if any messages
would come through.

798
00:44:23.000 --> 00:44:26.500
None did.
So it was like a normal night, actually.

799
00:44:26.583 --> 00:44:29.166
[presenter]
Facebook under fire once again.

800
00:44:29.250 --> 00:44:31.708
[narrator] There is more negative news
for the social network

801
00:44:31.791 --> 00:44:34.958
when whistleblower Frances Haugen
tells the US Senate

802
00:44:35.041 --> 00:44:37.166
that Facebook is aware it's toxic.

803
00:44:38.083 --> 00:44:41.250
Content that elicits
an extreme reaction from you

804
00:44:41.333 --> 00:44:44.250
is more likely to get a click,
a comment or a re-share.

805
00:44:44.333 --> 00:44:49.916
Her testimony receives seven likes,
three loves, two cares and an angry face.

806
00:44:50.000 --> 00:44:53.041
Well, social media makes people
do things they don't want to do.

807
00:44:53.125 --> 00:44:56.666
I didn't want to take 400 pictures of legs
and hot dogs by the swimming pool.

808
00:44:56.750 --> 00:44:58.541
No, Instagram made me.

809
00:44:58.625 --> 00:45:03.166
I did the milk crate challenge,
and I hate milk and crates.

810
00:45:03.250 --> 00:45:06.500
I'm as much of a victim as everyone else.

811
00:45:06.583 --> 00:45:09.916
Influencers are
some of the most easily influenced,

812
00:45:10.000 --> 00:45:11.833
and who's looking out for us?

813
00:45:11.916 --> 00:45:14.125
[reporter] Facebook posts incited violence

814
00:45:14.208 --> 00:45:16.291
while the platform enabled
human trafficking.

815
00:45:16.375 --> 00:45:19.375
[narrator] Social networks
come under heavy media scrutiny,

816
00:45:19.458 --> 00:45:23.666
in particular, their ability
to ruthlessly monetize anger and despair

817
00:45:23.750 --> 00:45:26.333
even more efficiently than Adele.

818
00:45:27.166 --> 00:45:29.375
[director] On your social network,
YipYakker,

819
00:45:29.458 --> 00:45:33.750
users are just repeatedly
expressing rage and misery.

820
00:45:33.833 --> 00:45:39.083
And it's essential to let them do that.
It's optimized to keep them in that state.

821
00:45:39.166 --> 00:45:43.875
We found maintaining a sense
of limitless fury keeps our users engaged,

822
00:45:43.958 --> 00:45:47.250
and if they're engaged,
they must be enjoying themselves,

823
00:45:47.333 --> 00:45:49.458
even if they're desperately unhappy.

824
00:45:49.541 --> 00:45:52.291
In fact, especially then,

825
00:45:52.375 --> 00:45:56.500
because desperate unhappiness
also equals greater engagement.

826
00:45:57.166 --> 00:46:00.000
Our company is now Meta.

827
00:46:00.083 --> 00:46:02.750
A month later,
in a hypnotic corporate event,

828
00:46:02.833 --> 00:46:05.500
Facebook regurgitates itself as Meta

829
00:46:05.583 --> 00:46:10.333
with a new logo, the symbol for infinity,
the company's desired profits.

830
00:46:10.416 --> 00:46:12.791
Human impersonator Mark Zuckerberg

831
00:46:12.875 --> 00:46:16.916
excitedly reveals diverting plans
to spend billions

832
00:46:17.000 --> 00:46:20.458
on a virtual reality space
he calls the metaverse.

833
00:46:20.541 --> 00:46:24.875
I'm proud of what we've built so far,
and excited about what comes next.

834
00:46:24.958 --> 00:46:30.166
[Austin] You can see it's a fantasy world
because it's full of cool, arty types.

835
00:46:30.250 --> 00:46:32.875
Not like the real Facebook
full of sex pests and perverts.

836
00:46:32.958 --> 00:46:35.333
That's who's actually going to be
in the metaverse.

837
00:46:36.375 --> 00:46:38.458
They should really call it
"the Me Too Verse."

838
00:46:38.541 --> 00:46:39.791
I was impressed.

839
00:46:39.875 --> 00:46:44.666
Zuckerberg's avatar actually looks like
a more lifelike version of him than he is.

840
00:46:44.750 --> 00:46:46.166
All right. Perfect.

841
00:46:46.250 --> 00:46:49.333
A virtual reality world
looks increasingly appealing

842
00:46:50.208 --> 00:46:55.208
since, in actual reality,
the world is still trying to kill us.

843
00:46:56.541 --> 00:47:02.250
The much-anticipated COP 26 Climate
Conference opens in Glasgow, London.

844
00:47:02.791 --> 00:47:06.083
Mankind's last chance
to negotiate peace terms with the Earth,

845
00:47:06.166 --> 00:47:08.750
according to doom-laden coverage.

846
00:47:08.833 --> 00:47:12.916
None of us can escape
the worst that's yet to come

847
00:47:13.000 --> 00:47:15.208
if we fail to seize this moment.

848
00:47:15.291 --> 00:47:19.500
The conference's declared mission:
to stop the world getting too hot.

849
00:47:19.583 --> 00:47:22.208
There are very serious consequences
for the planet

850
00:47:22.291 --> 00:47:25.791
if we don't keep global warming
below 1.5 degrees Celsius.

851
00:47:25.875 --> 00:47:29.041
-[ominous music playing]
-Droughts, famines, millions homeless,

852
00:47:29.125 --> 00:47:31.166
acid oceans, dead zones and…

853
00:47:31.833 --> 00:47:34.250
Look, enough. Either he goes or I do.

854
00:47:35.583 --> 00:47:36.791
Yep. No problem. He can go.

855
00:47:38.375 --> 00:47:39.500
Please.

856
00:47:39.583 --> 00:47:42.750
Is the end of the world not fascinating
enough without background music?

857
00:47:42.833 --> 00:47:45.041
[protestors chanting]

858
00:47:46.083 --> 00:47:47.916
While the world waits nervously

859
00:47:48.000 --> 00:47:50.958
for whatever the conference
will finally fail to announce,

860
00:47:51.041 --> 00:47:54.833
Glasgow becomes a focus
for climate activists.

861
00:47:54.916 --> 00:47:57.000
[Goolies] Now that
the whole BLM thing's been fixed,

862
00:47:57.083 --> 00:48:00.500
I had the bandwidth
to get involved in climate change.

863
00:48:00.583 --> 00:48:06.333
I want to be, like, the Greta Thunberg
of environmentalism, you know.

864
00:48:06.416 --> 00:48:08.125
Like, a lot of people, they stay at home,

865
00:48:08.208 --> 00:48:12.375
and because they don't see
the reality of climate change up close,

866
00:48:13.333 --> 00:48:15.166
they don't even think about it.

867
00:48:15.250 --> 00:48:18.208
And so, what I wanted to do
is flip the script on that.

868
00:48:18.291 --> 00:48:22.958
So, I actually went to Greenland
to see the melting icebergs for myself,

869
00:48:23.041 --> 00:48:27.791
and then to a wildfire in California
and a beach party in Cancún.

870
00:48:28.541 --> 00:48:29.750
[dance music playing]

871
00:48:29.833 --> 00:48:31.625
[director] Was that a climate emergency?

872
00:48:31.708 --> 00:48:35.041
No, but you got to relax sometimes.

873
00:48:35.125 --> 00:48:39.958
Avoid burnout,
especially with all the burnout going on.

874
00:48:40.041 --> 00:48:42.000
[director]
How did you get to these places?

875
00:48:42.083 --> 00:48:45.000
Uh, private jet, obviously. [laughs]

876
00:48:45.083 --> 00:48:47.750
I know what you're going to say,
it's bad for the environment, but…

877
00:48:47.833 --> 00:48:52.000
Because the purpose of the trip was to
persuade others not to use fossil fuels,

878
00:48:52.083 --> 00:48:55.541
technically, I mean, it's carbon neutral.

879
00:48:55.625 --> 00:48:58.875
I agree with the protesters.
There is no Planet B.

880
00:48:58.958 --> 00:49:02.208
I've had space probes looking for it
for a decade.

881
00:49:02.291 --> 00:49:05.166
We have to protect the environment

882
00:49:05.250 --> 00:49:08.291
for the people who will live on Earth
in a 100 years' time.

883
00:49:08.375 --> 00:49:10.416
[director] Like our children's children?

884
00:49:11.166 --> 00:49:12.625
Actually, I was thinking of me.

885
00:49:12.708 --> 00:49:17.791
If my cryogenics technology works,
I suppose other people's children as well.

886
00:49:17.875 --> 00:49:19.583
I'll need someone to do my dry cleaning.

887
00:49:20.375 --> 00:49:24.250
A climate deal is finally brokered,
but it is not as promised.

888
00:49:24.333 --> 00:49:26.666
Mankind has moved
from ignoring the climate

889
00:49:26.750 --> 00:49:30.416
to gaslighting it,
which is even worse for the environment.

890
00:49:31.291 --> 00:49:34.625
India and China refused a commitment
to phase out coal,

891
00:49:34.708 --> 00:49:38.125
preferring instead
to phase down the Seychelles.

892
00:49:38.208 --> 00:49:42.583
COP 26 has been a failure.
It's a phase-out…

893
00:49:42.666 --> 00:49:44.916
There are emotional scenes
at the conference

894
00:49:45.000 --> 00:49:47.250
as the compromised deal is announced.

895
00:49:47.333 --> 00:49:50.375
COP president Alok Sharma openly weeps,

896
00:49:50.458 --> 00:49:53.583
only adding to already dangerous
sea levels.

897
00:49:54.416 --> 00:49:57.750
Just think about it.
If sea levels do rise,

898
00:49:57.833 --> 00:50:01.750
it's only gonna drown the liberals
on the East and West Coasts.

899
00:50:01.833 --> 00:50:04.625
The blue states will just get a bit bluer.

900
00:50:04.708 --> 00:50:07.750
All sounds bad, but let's just flip it.

901
00:50:07.833 --> 00:50:12.541
What if, instead of rising,
the sea actually boils away in the heat?

902
00:50:12.625 --> 00:50:14.625
That could have some amazing upsides.

903
00:50:14.708 --> 00:50:17.333
It'll reveal underwater mountains
that no one's ever climbed.

904
00:50:17.416 --> 00:50:19.875
And the world will basically triple
its tourist attractions.

905
00:50:19.958 --> 00:50:21.625
They'll have to rewrite
the geography books.

906
00:50:21.708 --> 00:50:26.166
Think about it. You could go
on a road trip to see the Titanic.

907
00:50:26.250 --> 00:50:27.333
Whoa.

908
00:50:28.750 --> 00:50:30.125
Wouldn't that be epic?

909
00:50:31.208 --> 00:50:33.541
I mean, in an electric car, of course.
I'm not a monster.

910
00:50:35.541 --> 00:50:37.666
So, the conference fizzles out,

911
00:50:37.750 --> 00:50:42.958
and humanity is once again left to burn,
drown, or virus to death.

912
00:50:43.041 --> 00:50:46.791
COVID is showing signs of a revival,

913
00:50:46.875 --> 00:50:50.791
aided by the vaccine's potency
fading significantly after six months.

914
00:50:50.875 --> 00:50:54.375
Like true love,
booster shots are required.

915
00:50:54.458 --> 00:50:56.750
[Nerrick] Biden had a booster shot on TV.

916
00:50:56.833 --> 00:50:58.666
I didn't know you could inject ghosts

917
00:50:58.750 --> 00:51:01.541
without the vaccine solution
dripping straight through onto the floor,

918
00:51:01.625 --> 00:51:05.666
but then,
I didn't know that ghosts had veins, so…

919
00:51:05.750 --> 00:51:07.750
[protestors shouting]

920
00:51:07.833 --> 00:51:11.916
Today's Nazis want to eliminate

921
00:51:12.000 --> 00:51:15.708
90% of the global population.

922
00:51:15.791 --> 00:51:19.916
The bizarre beliefs
of hard-core anti-vaxxers means

923
00:51:20.000 --> 00:51:24.125
a significant number still insist
on their right not to get the shot.

924
00:51:24.208 --> 00:51:28.750
Unfortunately, COVID still insists
on its right to infect and kill them.

925
00:51:28.833 --> 00:51:32.333
This is a pandemic of the unvaccinated.

926
00:51:32.416 --> 00:51:36.583
That's why I'm moving forward with
vaccination requirements wherever I can.

927
00:51:36.666 --> 00:51:40.541
A dutiful media reveals
the latest pandemic policy.

928
00:51:40.625 --> 00:51:42.666
[reporter] With the deadline
just hours away

929
00:51:42.750 --> 00:51:45.416
for all New York State health care workers
to get vaccinated,

930
00:51:45.500 --> 00:51:47.583
officials are taking drastic action.

931
00:51:47.666 --> 00:51:50.625
[narrator] To bend the arm of anti-vaxxers
and jab a needle in it,

932
00:51:50.708 --> 00:51:54.000
governments plan
mandatory vaccination programs.

933
00:51:54.083 --> 00:51:58.583
Stark reports reveal
US government employees must get a shot,

934
00:51:58.666 --> 00:52:00.458
or get shot of their jobs.

935
00:52:00.541 --> 00:52:04.458
I'm going to be terminated.
It's going to be my last day.

936
00:52:04.541 --> 00:52:09.958
News channels are filled with experts
calling for a widespread return to masks.

937
00:52:10.041 --> 00:52:13.500
When you're in an area
which is almost the entire country

938
00:52:13.583 --> 00:52:17.708
in which there's a high degree
of viral dynamics, you should wear a mask.

939
00:52:17.791 --> 00:52:20.541
-Take that mask off.
-No more masks!

940
00:52:20.625 --> 00:52:23.416
Which non-experts refused
to take on the chin

941
00:52:23.500 --> 00:52:26.041
in predictably angry scenes.

942
00:52:26.125 --> 00:52:27.541
[protestors chanting]

943
00:52:27.625 --> 00:52:31.041
Some broadcasters
are provocatively anti-mask.

944
00:52:31.125 --> 00:52:33.333
Next time you see someone in a mask
on the sidewalk

945
00:52:33.416 --> 00:52:35.250
or on the bike path, do not hesitate.

946
00:52:35.333 --> 00:52:38.750
Ask politely, but firmly,
"Would you please take off your mask?

947
00:52:38.833 --> 00:52:41.625
Science shows there is no reason
for you to be wearing it.

948
00:52:41.708 --> 00:52:44.333
Your mask is making me uncomfortable."

949
00:52:44.416 --> 00:52:48.708
Masks are death traps,
especially for children.

950
00:52:48.791 --> 00:52:50.375
Kids cannot breathe through masks.

951
00:52:50.458 --> 00:52:52.708
That's why so many children
die on Halloween.

952
00:52:53.500 --> 00:52:57.666
That, and ritual satanic sacrifice.

953
00:52:58.416 --> 00:53:00.083
[director] Have you ever tried
to pull someone's mask off?

954
00:53:00.166 --> 00:53:02.625
Okay, so, actually,
I'm gonna stop you right there.

955
00:53:02.708 --> 00:53:06.125
I am mask-septic, actually,
so I have a right to prevent my eyes

956
00:53:06.208 --> 00:53:08.875
from seeing images of masks
that offend my faith.

957
00:53:08.958 --> 00:53:10.625
Your mask makes me uncomfortable.

958
00:53:10.708 --> 00:53:12.250
Eat air, sheeple!

959
00:53:13.125 --> 00:53:14.291
For your face.

960
00:53:15.125 --> 00:53:16.458
Wrong!

961
00:53:16.541 --> 00:53:20.916
It's easy for you to sit there
in your mask, looking smug about it.

962
00:53:21.916 --> 00:53:24.250
At least I assume you're looking smug.

963
00:53:24.333 --> 00:53:29.375
As Christmas approaches,
urgent news of the gift no one wanted.

964
00:53:30.166 --> 00:53:34.416
[reporter] This morning, another worrying
new COVID variant surging abroad.

965
00:53:34.500 --> 00:53:37.750
[narrator] A highly contagious
new variant, Omicron.

966
00:53:37.833 --> 00:53:42.125
The new Omicron variant is the most
heavily-mutated coronavirus so far.

967
00:53:42.208 --> 00:53:44.500
It has 30 mutations to its spike protein,

968
00:53:44.583 --> 00:53:47.625
which means that current vaccines
may not be as effective

969
00:53:47.708 --> 00:53:50.291
and you could see
an aggressive upward trend

970
00:53:50.375 --> 00:53:53.791
in cases, hospitalizations and deaths.

971
00:53:55.333 --> 00:53:57.041
Why have you not put any music on this?

972
00:53:57.125 --> 00:53:59.000
-[director] Well, you said that--
-No!

973
00:53:59.083 --> 00:54:02.541
You should put some music on that bit.
Something upbeat.

974
00:54:03.333 --> 00:54:05.250
Otherwise it will be very depressing.

975
00:54:05.333 --> 00:54:07.041
Despite this new danger,

976
00:54:07.125 --> 00:54:10.208
some broadcasters
still spout dangerous rhetoric.

977
00:54:10.291 --> 00:54:12.000
[chanting] Fuck the vax! Fuck the vax!

978
00:54:12.083 --> 00:54:14.000
I want to thank you for watching tonight,

979
00:54:14.083 --> 00:54:15.916
and I want to leave you
with this question.

980
00:54:16.000 --> 00:54:20.708
If masks protect us, and evolution is real
as the liberals insist it is,

981
00:54:20.791 --> 00:54:25.583
then why haven't we evolved skin masks?
Huh?

982
00:54:25.666 --> 00:54:27.208
Just asking questions.

983
00:54:28.375 --> 00:54:30.291
Think about it. Think about it.

984
00:54:31.458 --> 00:54:34.916
[director] Madison, can we talk about
your attitude towards COVID and vaccines?

985
00:54:35.000 --> 00:54:38.375
That's what you want to talk about?
That's so boring.

986
00:54:38.458 --> 00:54:41.625
Aren't you going to ask me
about my close friend Kyle Rittenhouse?

987
00:54:41.708 --> 00:54:46.333
No, because you liberals lost that one,
didn't you? Oh, boo-hoo. Poor you.

988
00:54:46.416 --> 00:54:49.958
He's a real star.
He should make a record. I'd buy it.

989
00:54:50.041 --> 00:54:52.333
As long as it wasn't rap
or something like that.

990
00:54:52.416 --> 00:54:54.708
Are you going to ask me about Putin?

991
00:54:54.791 --> 00:54:58.458
He used a missile to blow up
one of his own satellites,

992
00:54:58.541 --> 00:54:59.958
and that's a show of strength.

993
00:55:00.041 --> 00:55:03.583
That's like punching yourself in the face
to show how strong you are.

994
00:55:03.666 --> 00:55:07.041
And that's Putin for you.
He's a strong man, madman.

995
00:55:07.125 --> 00:55:09.125
I love him. I would.

996
00:55:09.208 --> 00:55:12.583
Don't you want to talk about
Ghislaine Maxwell and Prince Andrew? Huh?

997
00:55:12.666 --> 00:55:15.333
Actually, I can't talk about that,
in case I'm called as a witness.

998
00:55:15.416 --> 00:55:16.750
[director]I just want to know,

999
00:55:16.833 --> 00:55:19.416
why do you tell your viewers
not to get vaccinated or wear masks?

1000
00:55:19.500 --> 00:55:21.500
Well, I never say that.

1001
00:55:21.583 --> 00:55:24.916
-I'm just asking questions.
-It seems quite a bad business model.

1002
00:55:25.000 --> 00:55:27.583
Killing off your audience
by giving them incorrect health advice.

1003
00:55:27.666 --> 00:55:30.958
I would say
it's a refreshing radical stance

1004
00:55:31.041 --> 00:55:33.000
that continuously brings in new viewers

1005
00:55:33.083 --> 00:55:35.208
so the audience figures
remain about level.

1006
00:55:35.291 --> 00:55:36.708
It's a careful balance.

1007
00:55:37.458 --> 00:55:39.458
Have you been vaccinated, Madison?

1008
00:55:42.625 --> 00:55:45.000
I told you,
I wasn't gonna talk about that.

1009
00:55:45.083 --> 00:55:47.500
-What did I tell you?
-Madison, have you been vaccinated?

1010
00:55:47.583 --> 00:55:49.583
-That's all I want to know.
-What did I tell you?

1011
00:55:49.666 --> 00:55:52.208
In line with your network's
corporate policy…

1012
00:55:52.291 --> 00:55:54.291
-Pardon me, asshole.
-I'm just asking questions.

1013
00:55:54.375 --> 00:55:55.416
Pardon me, asshole.

1014
00:55:55.500 --> 00:55:57.375
I think that's the end of the interview.

1015
00:55:57.458 --> 00:55:59.458
-Goodbye. Thank you very much.
-I'm just asking questions.

1016
00:55:59.541 --> 00:56:02.166
You told me, I told you
to not ask me that question.

1017
00:56:02.250 --> 00:56:05.166
You've taken me two hours.
You waste my time. I got to go.

1018
00:56:05.250 --> 00:56:08.958
Get out of my studio.
Just get the fuck out!

1019
00:56:09.041 --> 00:56:11.250
Hey, you want to get
a little shot of this?

1020
00:56:11.333 --> 00:56:14.833
Get this for your social media.
You kiss it, baby.

1021
00:56:14.916 --> 00:56:16.416
Here are the two Americas again,

1022
00:56:16.500 --> 00:56:20.208
each side believing the other side
is trying to kill it or enslave it,

1023
00:56:20.291 --> 00:56:22.541
whether it's masks, or vaccines, or votes.

1024
00:56:22.625 --> 00:56:24.291
[clamoring]

1025
00:56:24.375 --> 00:56:28.541
They constantly yell at each other,
amplified through social media and TV.

1026
00:56:29.416 --> 00:56:31.416
[protesting]

1027
00:56:33.083 --> 00:56:36.666
But I wonder, if these two sides
actually sat down with each other

1028
00:56:36.750 --> 00:56:41.208
as human beings in real life
and took time to listen to each other,

1029
00:56:41.291 --> 00:56:43.541
then maybe, just maybe,

1030
00:56:43.625 --> 00:56:46.625
that could spark
a fucking furious fistfight.

1031
00:56:46.708 --> 00:56:48.833
Bam, bam, bam.
Wouldn't that be a spectacle?

1032
00:56:48.916 --> 00:56:51.125
[protesting]

1033
00:56:51.208 --> 00:56:55.750
We end the year as we began it,
polarized and divided,

1034
00:56:55.833 --> 00:56:59.416
progressives versus conservatives,
vaxxed versus unvaxxed.

1035
00:56:59.500 --> 00:57:00.625
[chanting] Christ is king!

1036
00:57:00.708 --> 00:57:05.583
Science versus whatever the fucking
mental opposite of fucking science is.

1037
00:57:05.666 --> 00:57:09.041
Some would say
that we're in the storm of a culture war,

1038
00:57:09.125 --> 00:57:10.375
others violently disagree.

1039
00:57:12.000 --> 00:57:13.625
But there is some hope.

1040
00:57:13.708 --> 00:57:17.166
While they may not have made
everything normal again,

1041
00:57:17.250 --> 00:57:22.041
vaccines have given us
the normalest of the new normals so far.

1042
00:57:22.625 --> 00:57:26.791
A chance to live, learn,
and even love again.

1043
00:57:26.875 --> 00:57:29.083
[director]
How did your Internet dating go, Gemma?

1044
00:57:29.166 --> 00:57:32.416
Oh, Jeff? Well, we got on well on Zoom.

1045
00:57:32.500 --> 00:57:36.000
And so we met for a date in a park.
Exciting.

1046
00:57:36.083 --> 00:57:39.583
I was halfway through telling him
about my collection of pottery pigs

1047
00:57:39.666 --> 00:57:43.666
when he got a text saying that he'd tested
incredibly positive for COVID

1048
00:57:43.750 --> 00:57:46.625
and had to go into isolation
straight away.

1049
00:57:46.708 --> 00:57:49.125
Since then,
I haven't heard anything from him.

1050
00:57:49.708 --> 00:57:52.250
No texts, no emails, nothing.

1051
00:57:52.333 --> 00:57:57.166
So, I can only assume he's either dead
or in hospital on a ventilator.

1052
00:57:57.250 --> 00:58:01.291
I just want to
take this opportunity to say,

1053
00:58:01.375 --> 00:58:05.125
Jeff, if you're watching this
with a tube down your throat,

1054
00:58:05.208 --> 00:58:09.000
please just send me a text
to let me know that you're still alive.

1055
00:58:09.083 --> 00:58:10.125
-[phone chimes]
-Oh!

1056
00:58:12.791 --> 00:58:14.958
Oh. Oh.

1057
00:58:15.041 --> 00:58:17.250
My operating system
is gonna update tonight.

1058
00:58:20.416 --> 00:58:22.708
Something to look forward to.

1059
00:58:24.791 --> 00:58:27.750
[director]
What did you learn in 2021, Kathy?

1060
00:58:27.833 --> 00:58:30.291
The main thing I learned, um,

1061
00:58:30.375 --> 00:58:34.458
never bomb a mask factory
while wearing an ankle tag. [laughs]

1062
00:58:35.041 --> 00:58:36.750
That's how they found me so quickly.

1063
00:58:36.833 --> 00:58:38.375
[director] Okay. Time is up.

1064
00:58:38.458 --> 00:58:41.833
Oh, well, okay. There you go.
Let's get on with it.

1065
00:58:41.916 --> 00:58:44.375
I hope you're filming this.
This is the deep state in action.

1066
00:58:44.458 --> 00:58:45.541
And they say it's not real.

1067
00:58:45.625 --> 00:58:47.125
-Your masks are offending me.
-[handcuffs clicking]

1068
00:58:47.208 --> 00:58:48.833
Ow! You're hurting my arm.

1069
00:58:48.916 --> 00:58:51.291
[gasping] I can't breathe.
This is oppression.

1070
00:58:51.375 --> 00:58:53.583
[director]
And what did you learn in 2021, Zero?

1071
00:58:53.666 --> 00:58:56.750
Well, I learned Mark Zuckerberg is unaware

1072
00:58:56.833 --> 00:59:00.458
that I actually already built
the metaverse five years ago.

1073
00:59:00.541 --> 00:59:02.208
We've all been in it since 2016.

1074
00:59:03.708 --> 00:59:06.416
[director] What have you learned in 2021?

1075
00:59:06.500 --> 00:59:10.000
I learned that when I say the phrase,
"I was in the room when…"

1076
00:59:10.583 --> 00:59:12.375
People tend to leave the room.

1077
00:59:12.458 --> 00:59:14.708
What did I learn in 2021?

1078
00:59:14.791 --> 00:59:17.333
I learned that nobody learned anything
in 2020.

1079
00:59:17.416 --> 00:59:23.916
I have learned that it is always wise
to keep your OBE to hand.

1080
00:59:25.583 --> 00:59:27.291
O-B-E.

1081
00:59:28.416 --> 00:59:31.125
One bottle enclosed. [chuckles]

1082
00:59:31.208 --> 00:59:35.333
It's naughty, isn't it?
It is quite fun. I think it's fun.

1083
00:59:35.416 --> 00:59:37.958
[director]
What did you learn in 2021, Gemma?

1084
00:59:38.041 --> 00:59:42.041
I had to learn where my tonsils are,
so I could do a COVID test.

1085
00:59:42.125 --> 00:59:45.666
They're in a bottle in the cupboard,
so that makes doing one a bit easier.

1086
00:59:45.750 --> 00:59:47.041
We done?

1087
00:59:48.250 --> 00:59:49.958
All right. What's up, guys?

1088
00:59:50.041 --> 00:59:52.500
Just wrapped up with Netflix.
Can't wait for you to see it.

1089
00:59:52.583 --> 00:59:55.041
Can't say too much.
Kind of a hush-hush sort of deal.

1090
00:59:55.125 --> 00:59:57.791
Can anyone guess what it is?
Leave a comment, like, subscribe.

1091
00:59:57.875 --> 00:59:59.750
#FoolingWithTheGoolies.

1092
00:59:59.833 --> 01:00:03.125
Well, if that's it,
I better get back to work, if that's okay.

1093
01:00:03.791 --> 01:00:05.708
[director] What is it you're working on?

1094
01:00:05.791 --> 01:00:09.541
It's a concerning new variant
that I just discovered…

1095
01:00:09.625 --> 01:00:10.666
Oh, no!

1096
01:00:11.416 --> 01:00:12.791
Shit! Run away!