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Downloaded from
YTS.MX

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Official YIFY movies site:
YTS.MX

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[bell tolling]

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Tennyson, how do you want us
to refer to you in the captions?

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Oh, here we go.

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I expect you want to know
my preferred pronouns.

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Well, I don't have any.

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I don't have any.
I do not dance the wokey-cokey.

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So you can call me whatever you like.

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Oh, I was just checking
whether we should put OBE after your name.

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No, you should. You must, in fact.

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[crowd shouting]

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[narrator] 2021, a year that made 2020
feel like a mere prequel

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with events more apocalyptic,
more unpredictable,

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and more bizarre than any previous year
in the history of years.

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I'm here live. It's nothing…
I'm not a cat.

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-What's up?
-With unprecedented access to academics…

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Am I lovely?

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…journalists…

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So what's the carbon footprint
of that lamp?

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…cable news opinionators…

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Come on! The bison guy was hot.

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He was hot.

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…billionaire tech moguls…

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-Is that Earth water?
-Yes.

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…scientists…

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Just a little bit of Pfizer
before we start.

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-[groans]
-…influencers…

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It's okay if I Tik-Tok
while we do this, right?

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-…cultural commentators…
-What I actually think?

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You want me to be the first
to be canceled in 2022?

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…and average citizens.

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Well, I am a mom first
and an American first.

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[laughs] In that order.

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Ooh! It really hurts, don't it?

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Oh, I've used the wrong end again.

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This is the story of 2021,

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told by those who were there
to viewers, who were also there.

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This is Death to 2021.

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[narrator]
2021 opens on a note of optimism.

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A range of lip-smacking new vaccines

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promises to transform the COVID pandemic
from an ongoing crisis

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to a repressed traumatic memory.

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And youthful political firebrand Joe Biden

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is poised to enter the White House
and heal a divided America.

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Together, we can get this done.

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But the optimism doesn't last long.

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[crowd chanting] USA! USA!

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A mob congeals
in the Washington District of Columbia,

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inflamed by President Trump's
false claims of electoral fraud…

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There's no way we lost Georgia,
there's no way.

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-[crowd cheering]
-That was a rigged election.

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…claims slavishly echoed
by his media accomplices.

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Donald Trump absolutely crushed Joe Biden.

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Seventy-five million people

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re-elected Donald J. Trump
on November 3rd.

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It really was rigged against Donald Trump.

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One of the loudest trumpets of Trump's
big lie: broadcaster Madison Madison.

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Did Antifa terrorists
infiltrate the count in Arizona

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disguised as voting machines? [scoffs]

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Just asking questions.

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[crowd chanting] Fight for Trump!
Fight for Trump!

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[Foss] It was shaping up to be a clash
of really epic proportions.

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Perhaps the closest historical parallel
would be the battle of Hogwarts.

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When Lord Voldemort set every single
Death Eater to attack the school

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-and defend his final Horcruxes--
-[director] But isn't that Harry Po…

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-Do go on.
-Thank you.

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Of course, Trump's supporters believed

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that the only way to stop the "deep state"
from destroying democracy

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was by destroying it themselves first.

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And we fight.

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We fight like hell,
and if you don't fight like hell,

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you're not going to have
a country anymore.

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With the world's media
eagerly following their every move,

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the rioters stormed the Capitol,

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aiming to prevent the Vice President
certifying the Electoral College votes,

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one of the meaningless ceremonial roles
Mike Pence usually excels at.

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In Washington that day,

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veteran Washington correspondent
Snook Austin.

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I've never seen anything, anything,
as crazy in D.C. as January 6th.

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And I go back a long way in D.C.
I saw Watergate.

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I witnessed Clinton's ejaculation.

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I was in the room
when Bush knelt before Zod.

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But this was something else.

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A cross between a violent insurrection
and a chimps' tea party.

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Terrifying and stupid,
like a Muppet reboot of the Vietnam War.

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The revolution is televised
and live-streamed

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in a blizzard
of chaotic cell phone footage.

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I thought January 6th was wonderful.

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Just so inspiring to see so many citizens
engaging with their democracy.

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I just think if you care that much,

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you should get a shot
at running the country. Why not?

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-We're in the Capitol.
-We're in the fucking Capitol, bro.

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The rioters are simultaneously
bad and good citizens,

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committing crime, yet comprehensively
self-shooting the evidence

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that could later convict them of it.

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Whoo!

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Can I speak to Pelosi?

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Yeah, we're coming, bitch!

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Oh, Mike Pence?
We're coming for you too, fucking traitor!

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One of them was a bison
who disguised himself as a human.

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Freedom!

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He was probably protesting because
bison still don't have the vote, do they?

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Even if they did, they'd never be able
to hold the pencil in their hooves.

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This is our house. This is our country.

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[exclaims]

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I watched it unfold,
and like every American, I was horrified.

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[director] But you were actually there,
weren't you, in the Capitol?

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Was I there?

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[director] That's clear footage of you.

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Yeah, I was there.

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But I was only there
to lend peaceful support.

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Come on out, Pence! You fucking pussy!

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I was simply exercising
my freedom of speech

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as a US American.

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[director] And also your right
to smear your own shit on walls?

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[Flowers] I was writing.
Which also counts as speech, actually.

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Things got a little wild,

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but it felt great to be a part
of something that could change the world.

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You know, I think that this was
really my generation's Woodstock.

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Um, although I don't actually know
what a Woodstock is.

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Finally, after death and destruction,
Trump calls off his confused minions.

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We have to have peace, so go home.
We love you. You're very special.

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[protestor] He says, "Go home."

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Donald Trump
just asked everybody to go home.

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[protestor] We're staying.

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Okay, then stay, motherfucker.
I don't give a shit.

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In the aftermath,
when pushed by an inquiring media,

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many involved cannot explain their actions
coherently or incoherently.

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I had nothing to do with charging anybody
or anything or any of that.

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I was in the wrong place
at the wrong time.

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I deeply regret my actions.

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You know, they do not reflect
who I am as a person, or as an American,

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or as a mom, or as a me.

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And that's what I told the judge,
and most importantly,

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he believed me.

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[director] He still sentenced you
to house arrest.

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No-- I'm not…

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[laughs]

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What makes you think
I'm under house arrest?

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[director] Your ankle tag, maybe?

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Oh, this? This is not… [laughs]

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This thing is actually really useful.

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It monitors my heart rate,
it monitors my blood pressure,

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and how close I can get to a gun store.

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Too near, and boom! It explodes.

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Not really, just kidding.

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But I do get sent to jail.
Straight to jail. [chuckles]

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What led Americans
to attack their own government?

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Columnist Penn Parker
has written extensively,

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and drunkenly,
about American society today.

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There are two Americas.

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One America believes experts,
officials and journalists like me

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when we say Biden won.

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The other America thinks
those selfsame experts,

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officials and journalists like me,
are all part of a massive conspiracy.

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I ask you, do you think
the CIA has me on speed dial?

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Surely they could do better than that.

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I sure as shit hope so.

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Trump eventually vacates the White House

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with the shadow of impeachment
hanging over him,

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leaving his Republican cheerleaders
rudderless and backbone-less.

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At first, Republicans denounced Trump.
Then they denied they'd denounced him.

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Then they denied
they'd denied they denounced it.

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Then they denied
the whole thing ever happened.

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Then they denounced anyone
who denounced their denials.

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They change positions
as frequently and brazenly as your mom.

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After all that business,
no wonder America decided

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not to have a president for a while.

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They just got this little old
caretaker man in to keep things going

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until they could work out what to do next.

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So help me God.

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Congratulations, Mr. President.

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[crowd cheering]

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Constitutional order is restored
when, in a reverse exorcism ceremony,

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the ghost of Joe Biden
is installed in the White House.

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Democracy has prevailed.

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Biden promised an intensive program
for his first 100 days in office,

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just in case
he didn't make it beyond that.

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Now, Biden was something else.

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He didn't say
we should stick bleach up are assholes,

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or mock the disabled,
or brag about sexual assault.

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It was like he didn't know
the meaning of the word "presidential."

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Biden's first task is to roll out
new wonder coronavirus vaccines

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that offer people the chance to get back
to around 40% normality.

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But not everyone is happy.

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I'm not someone who likes to
define himself by mainstream brands,

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like a Pfizer or a Moderna,

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especially if they haven't paid
for product placement.

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So, I hooked up with a guy
who makes his own IPA,

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and we brewed up our own craft vaccine.

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All right, and here it is.

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Totally unfiltered, unpasteurized.

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It tastes like…

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Mmm.

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Yeah, just as good as any other IPA.

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[reporter] Tonight, researchers are
closely tracking a new COVID variant

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now spreading rapidly
through New York City.

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[narrator] But just as the vaccines
offer light at the end of the needle,

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ominous news reports revealed deadly
local variants of COVID are going global.

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Why did these new viruses
have to come from overseas?

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We should be making variants here,
in the US, not importing them.

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Make American germs again.

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[reporter] Say goodbye to the UK variant.

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According to
the World Health Organization,

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it's now officially the Alpha variant.
The South…

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Sober news graphics revealed

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the World Health Organization's plan
to label all new variants in Greek.

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I don't know why the Greeks agreed
to manufacture all the new variants.

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You'd think they've got enough on
with all the yogurt.

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One strain soon comes to dominate
the news agenda. Delta.

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First I thought
the new brand names were terrible

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and that they could've come up with
something catchier than Delta.

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But they said they'd looked,

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00:12:01,458 --> 00:12:04,083
and there isn't anything catchier
than Delta.

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Scientist Pyrex Flask is on the front line
in the war against the variants.

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[director] What is so concerning
about the Delta variant?

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00:12:12,833 --> 00:12:14,916
The Delta variant is very dangerous…

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-[ominous music playing]
-…because of the mutations

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in the gene encoding
of the SARS-CoV-2 spike protein

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that make it much, much more
transmittable than the Corona--

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Sorry, what is that music?

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[director] Just trying to add
some atmosphere, sense of menace.

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This situation is serious. It doesn't…

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-It doesn't need any music.
-Sure.

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00:12:32,083 --> 00:12:33,791
-Yeah.
-[music stops]

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00:12:33,875 --> 00:12:35,458
-That better?
-Thank you.

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So, how does a virus mutate?

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00:12:37,541 --> 00:12:40,625
-Just like humans, viruses reproduce.
-[sensual music playing]

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00:12:40,708 --> 00:12:42,375
You know, like all living organisms,

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viruses contain a DNA,
and when a virus replicates, it copies…

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Sorry, what is happening now?

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[director] Reproduction.
You know, trying to keep it sexy.

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00:12:51,541 --> 00:12:54,833
Listen to me,
a virus mutating is not sexy at all.

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00:12:54,916 --> 00:12:57,916
Well, it does nothing for me,
and I've looked at them very closely.

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-Lose it?
-Lose it.

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What are the differences
between the variants?

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00:13:01,916 --> 00:13:04,666
Well, the Alpha variant
first detected in Great Britain and--

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00:13:04,750 --> 00:13:07,541
-[triumphant music playing]
-Enough! Enough, that is enough.

240
00:13:09,750 --> 00:13:11,708
This new wave of virus variants

241
00:13:11,791 --> 00:13:17,791
leads to a new wave of lockdown variants
and a new wave of depressing news reports.

242
00:13:17,875 --> 00:13:22,625
People are forced once again
to adapt their lives to save lives.

243
00:13:22,708 --> 00:13:24,500
[Nerrick] I was pretty lonely in lockdown,

244
00:13:24,583 --> 00:13:29,333
so instead of just crying on my own
all night and all day, and at weekends,

245
00:13:30,208 --> 00:13:31,791
I thought I'd try a dating app.

246
00:13:31,875 --> 00:13:35,500
Only swiping men in masks
to be on the safe side.

247
00:13:35,583 --> 00:13:37,000
I even went on some Zoom dates,

248
00:13:37,083 --> 00:13:40,041
which are actually good
because they can be really efficient.

249
00:13:40,125 --> 00:13:42,625
What did you do
before you were furloughed?

250
00:13:42,708 --> 00:13:45,125
And that question goes to Man Number 1.

251
00:13:46,041 --> 00:13:49,500
I got on quite well with one of them.
[laughing]

252
00:13:49,583 --> 00:13:51,125
We even had a bit of a cuddle.

253
00:13:53,666 --> 00:13:55,791
[announcer] Miss Daphne Bridgerton.

254
00:13:55,875 --> 00:13:58,458
As the lockdowns continue to bite,

255
00:13:58,541 --> 00:14:02,416
many turned to television for escape,
as you are doing now.

256
00:14:02,500 --> 00:14:05,166
The first TV hit of the year
is Bridgerton,

257
00:14:05,250 --> 00:14:10,416
a gritty exposé of how wealthy and
good-looking people had sex in the past.

258
00:14:13,041 --> 00:14:14,583
[Nerrick] They filmed in olden times,

259
00:14:14,666 --> 00:14:17,750
but using a cast from now,
which is clever.

260
00:14:17,833 --> 00:14:20,625
All dressed like people from paintings.

261
00:14:20,708 --> 00:14:23,291
Got quite raunchy in places.
You know, really mucky.

262
00:14:23,916 --> 00:14:26,250
It was embarrassing
because I was watching it with my mum

263
00:14:26,333 --> 00:14:29,291
and I don't think
she's ever, you know, done it.

264
00:14:30,083 --> 00:14:33,791
At least, I hope not.
I don't like to think about it.

265
00:14:37,708 --> 00:14:40,958
Ugh. Just thought about it.

266
00:14:41,041 --> 00:14:43,291
It is so wonderful to see you,
Lady Danbury.

267
00:14:43,375 --> 00:14:45,458
Words I do not hear often enough.

268
00:14:45,541 --> 00:14:47,708
The show's casting grabs headlines,

269
00:14:47,791 --> 00:14:51,625
with people of color playing members
of the British aristocracy.

270
00:14:51,708 --> 00:14:53,458
It's great that someone who looks like me

271
00:14:53,541 --> 00:14:56,583
could one day grow up
to become Duchess of Hastings.

272
00:14:56,666 --> 00:14:58,791
I binged the whole thing in one go.

273
00:15:00,041 --> 00:15:04,500
Although, in retrospect, I probably
should have been working on the vaccine.

274
00:15:05,500 --> 00:15:06,500
[tsks]

275
00:15:06,583 --> 00:15:09,750
But some privileged white men
are disappointed the lavish show

276
00:15:09,833 --> 00:15:13,458
doesn't give a much-needed break
to privileged white men.

277
00:15:14,125 --> 00:15:18,041
That program was worse
than the statues last year.

278
00:15:18,125 --> 00:15:22,166
The multiculturalism
is historically inaccurate.

279
00:15:22,250 --> 00:15:27,916
In fact, to borrow a trendy phrase,
it is cultural appropriation, is it not?

280
00:15:28,000 --> 00:15:32,458
At a stroke, the whites are erased
from their own history.

281
00:15:32,541 --> 00:15:34,333
[director] It's fantasy, not history.

282
00:15:34,416 --> 00:15:37,333
Well then the whites
are erased from their own fantasy.

283
00:15:37,416 --> 00:15:40,125
Which is worse,
because where does that end?

284
00:15:40,208 --> 00:15:41,625
Tonight, when I'm sleeping,

285
00:15:41,708 --> 00:15:45,750
am I to be replaced in my own dreams
by a handsome black actor?

286
00:15:45,833 --> 00:15:50,333
And then make rough but expert love
to myself while watching in a mirror?

287
00:15:50,416 --> 00:15:52,416
Is that what should happen?
Is that what I want?

288
00:15:52,500 --> 00:15:55,500
You want? Is that what you want?

289
00:15:55,583 --> 00:15:58,916
But while Bridgerton's aristocracy
is color-blind,

290
00:15:59,000 --> 00:16:02,041
real-life British nobility
is anything but,

291
00:16:02,125 --> 00:16:04,666
according to no-longer-royals
Harry and Meghan

292
00:16:04,750 --> 00:16:07,208
in a riveting TV interview.

293
00:16:07,291 --> 00:16:10,750
Meghan shared with us
that there was a conversation with you

294
00:16:10,833 --> 00:16:13,791
-about Archie's skin tone.
-Mm-hmm.

295
00:16:14,833 --> 00:16:16,458
What was that conversation?

296
00:16:17,625 --> 00:16:21,083
That conversation
[chuckles] I'm never going to share.

297
00:16:21,166 --> 00:16:24,875
Accusing the royal family of racism
is outrageous.

298
00:16:24,958 --> 00:16:27,708
-[director] Well--
-No, no, no! I will not have it.

299
00:16:27,791 --> 00:16:32,791
You tell me one thing that implies that
the royal family might be racist. Go on.

300
00:16:32,875 --> 00:16:36,000
[director] Okay. Their entire existence
rests on the premise

301
00:16:36,083 --> 00:16:39,333
that their bloodline is inherently
superior to that of other humans.

302
00:16:39,416 --> 00:16:41,250
But they are inherently superior.

303
00:16:41,333 --> 00:16:45,000
They have the kind of first-class genes
that you can only get

304
00:16:45,083 --> 00:16:49,250
by consistently and dutifully
marrying your second cousin.

305
00:16:49,958 --> 00:16:51,250
I thought it was really refreshing

306
00:16:51,333 --> 00:16:54,666
to see a member of the royal family
sit down with a TV interviewer

307
00:16:54,750 --> 00:16:57,750
and it not all be questions
about whether they're a pedophile.

308
00:16:58,500 --> 00:17:01,833
The interview is packed with
earth-shattering revelations.

309
00:17:01,916 --> 00:17:04,958
I've never looked up my husband online.
I just didn't feel a need to

310
00:17:05,041 --> 00:17:07,958
because everything that I needed to know
he was sharing with me, right?

311
00:17:08,041 --> 00:17:10,125
It's hard to believe
she didn't google him.

312
00:17:10,208 --> 00:17:13,666
I mean, come on, you do that just to find
the best fucking tacos near you,

313
00:17:13,750 --> 00:17:15,041
never mind a husband.

314
00:17:15,125 --> 00:17:18,541
This was the kind of ghastly spectacle
that we've sadly come to expect

315
00:17:18,625 --> 00:17:22,083
from Prince Woke
and the Duchess of Me-Me-Me.

316
00:17:22,166 --> 00:17:25,458
True royals
do not make a spectacle of themselves.

317
00:17:25,541 --> 00:17:26,500
Look at the Queen.

318
00:17:26,583 --> 00:17:29,333
Is she running around going,
"Look at me, look at me"?

319
00:17:29,416 --> 00:17:32,333
[director] She travels
in a golden carriage wearing a crown.

320
00:17:32,416 --> 00:17:34,916
[Foss] That is not showing off.
That is pageantry.

321
00:17:35,000 --> 00:17:37,333
Traditional royal pageantry.

322
00:17:37,416 --> 00:17:38,625
What would you prefer?

323
00:17:38,708 --> 00:17:42,458
That she rides around on
an electric scooter without any socks on?

324
00:17:42,541 --> 00:17:46,083
She is the Queen,
and I believe she deserves our respect.

325
00:17:47,000 --> 00:17:51,416
After the interview, Prince Philip
withdraws from public life permanently,

326
00:17:51,500 --> 00:17:52,958
by dying.

327
00:17:53,041 --> 00:17:54,875
Millions watch the somber funeral

328
00:17:54,958 --> 00:17:59,375
of his Royal Highness Prince Philip,
the Duke of Deadinburgh.

329
00:17:59,458 --> 00:18:02,208
[Foss] Well, obviously,
it was a huge blow to the nation.

330
00:18:02,291 --> 00:18:06,291
And on a personal note,
I shall miss him terribly.

331
00:18:06,375 --> 00:18:07,791
[director] Did you know him?

332
00:18:07,875 --> 00:18:09,166
No, no.

333
00:18:09,250 --> 00:18:11,750
-But you met him on occasion?
-No.

334
00:18:11,833 --> 00:18:13,291
Did you ever maybe stand near him--

335
00:18:13,375 --> 00:18:16,666
He was a wonderful, wonderful character.

336
00:18:16,750 --> 00:18:19,708
[director] He made headlines
for racially insensitive comments.

337
00:18:19,791 --> 00:18:22,041
He was not a racist.

338
00:18:22,125 --> 00:18:24,708
He simply had a racist sense of humor.

339
00:18:25,625 --> 00:18:29,291
Naval Officer Philip could theoretically
have been buried at sea.

340
00:18:29,375 --> 00:18:34,375
But as a new documentary reveals,
the sea is too full to take him.

341
00:18:35,875 --> 00:18:38,458
It was called Seaspiracy, which is odd,

342
00:18:38,541 --> 00:18:41,166
because I thought
all piracy was in the seas.

343
00:18:41,250 --> 00:18:45,875
Seaspiracy explores
the devastation caused by overfishing

344
00:18:45,958 --> 00:18:50,458
in a series of wonderfully vivid
screen savers and desktop backgrounds.

345
00:18:50,541 --> 00:18:55,500
I saw it was all about fish
and I thought, "I love fish… and chips."

346
00:18:55,583 --> 00:18:57,625
Yes, please. I love this.

347
00:18:58,250 --> 00:19:01,166
So I watched it
and now I can't eat fish anymore.

348
00:19:01,750 --> 00:19:07,000
Or chips. In case a dolphin gets killed
by a potato stuck in its blowhole.

349
00:19:07,083 --> 00:19:10,583
You can't watch anything these days
without it putting you off something.

350
00:19:10,666 --> 00:19:12,833
I watched Seaspiracy,
and now I can't eat tuna.

351
00:19:13,416 --> 00:19:17,125
Then I watched My Octopus Teacher,
and now I can't eat teachers.

352
00:19:17,208 --> 00:19:19,500
Every documentary means
one less thing you can eat.

353
00:19:19,583 --> 00:19:23,583
I'm not even going to risk Squid Game
because I love calamari.

354
00:19:23,666 --> 00:19:24,791
[cheering, applause]

355
00:19:24,875 --> 00:19:28,750
Even bleaker than Seaspiracy,
the 93rd Academy Awards,

356
00:19:28,833 --> 00:19:32,833
rendered poignantly unwatchable
by COVID protocols

357
00:19:32,916 --> 00:19:35,958
and a pandemic-chic dress code.

358
00:19:36,041 --> 00:19:38,916
And the Oscar goes to…

359
00:19:42,541 --> 00:19:44,500
[mouthing]

360
00:19:44,583 --> 00:19:46,500
My Octopus Teacher.

361
00:19:46,583 --> 00:19:48,833
So diverse, yet so boring.

362
00:19:48,916 --> 00:19:51,333
You know, I would have called it
"The First Woke Oscars,"

363
00:19:51,416 --> 00:19:53,666
but most viewers
slept through the whole thing.

364
00:19:53,750 --> 00:19:56,041
The new look ceremony
features many innovations,

365
00:19:56,125 --> 00:19:59,375
including,
for the first time in Oscar history,

366
00:19:59,458 --> 00:20:03,083
a moment of reflection for those
who have been canceled this year.

367
00:20:42,166 --> 00:20:44,416
Minneapolis, Minnesota.

368
00:20:44,500 --> 00:20:46,583
In an astonishing break from tradition,

369
00:20:46,666 --> 00:20:51,625
a white police officer faces consequences
for killing a black civilian.

370
00:20:51,708 --> 00:20:53,625
[crowd chanting]

371
00:20:54,333 --> 00:20:58,541
The death in 2020 of George Floyd
sparked intense global protest.

372
00:20:58,625 --> 00:21:01,583
So the trial of his policeman killer,
Derek Chauvin,

373
00:21:01,666 --> 00:21:04,583
sparks intense global coverage.

374
00:21:04,666 --> 00:21:06,291
"I can't breathe."

375
00:21:06,375 --> 00:21:08,291
[speaks German]

376
00:21:08,375 --> 00:21:10,541
[speaking Spanish]

377
00:21:10,625 --> 00:21:12,250
[speaking French]

378
00:21:15,208 --> 00:21:17,916
Coverage inside the courthouse
shows Derek Chauvin

379
00:21:18,000 --> 00:21:20,958
sitting dispassionately
as he is found guilty.

380
00:21:21,041 --> 00:21:23,791
-Outside, news reveals jubilation.
-[crowd cheering]

381
00:21:23,875 --> 00:21:27,000
[reporter] Tonight, the crowd outside
Cup Foods in Minneapolis

382
00:21:27,083 --> 00:21:28,791
erupting in cheers as they learned

383
00:21:28,875 --> 00:21:32,250
of Derek Chauvin's conviction
in George Floyd's death.

384
00:21:32,333 --> 00:21:35,875
Chauvin's attorney argued
his client should receive probation.

385
00:21:35,958 --> 00:21:37,041
He was basically saying,

386
00:21:37,125 --> 00:21:39,291
"We'd like the court
to look into the possibility

387
00:21:39,375 --> 00:21:41,833
of starting an actual civil war."

388
00:21:41,916 --> 00:21:46,208
[narrator] Court TV shows Chauvin
barely reacts as he is led away.

389
00:21:46,291 --> 00:21:50,541
As part of his sentence,
Chauvin was banned from owning firearms.

390
00:21:50,625 --> 00:21:52,291
But he didn't shoot George Floyd.

391
00:21:52,875 --> 00:21:54,791
If the court really wanted justice,

392
00:21:54,875 --> 00:21:57,416
they should have chopped off
his fucking knees.

393
00:21:59,500 --> 00:22:00,666
Spring.

394
00:22:00,750 --> 00:22:03,208
Vaccination programs
are blossoming around the world.

395
00:22:03,291 --> 00:22:08,250
But in the US, glum news reports reveal
that take-up is faltering

396
00:22:08,333 --> 00:22:10,833
along traditional political fault lines.

397
00:22:10,916 --> 00:22:13,916
One segment of the population
remains steadfast

398
00:22:14,000 --> 00:22:17,458
in their opposition to getting a vaccine:
Republicans.

399
00:22:17,541 --> 00:22:21,416
In a switch from tradition,
it appears Democrats are now proud

400
00:22:21,500 --> 00:22:26,500
to invoke their right to bare arms,
while Republicans start to reject pricks.

401
00:22:26,583 --> 00:22:29,458
When they run out of guinea pigs, call me.

402
00:22:30,250 --> 00:22:31,708
One fascinating NBC poll said that

403
00:22:31,791 --> 00:22:35,958
the vaccine would be refused
by 47% of Trump supporters.

404
00:22:36,041 --> 00:22:38,625
Or, as he put it, a majority.

405
00:22:38,708 --> 00:22:42,041
Young people too
are failing to roll up their sleeves

406
00:22:42,125 --> 00:22:45,291
to roll up their sleeves
and get the vaccine.

407
00:22:45,375 --> 00:22:49,250
[reporter] A 100-dollar savings bond
in West Virginia.

408
00:22:49,333 --> 00:22:54,583
The media excitedly reveal incentives
for the hard-to-vax Gen Z demographic.

409
00:22:54,666 --> 00:22:58,750
[reporter] Doughnuts from Krispy Kreme,
Shake Shack fries in New York City.

410
00:22:58,833 --> 00:23:01,500
You just think of this
when you think of vaccination.

411
00:23:01,583 --> 00:23:02,875
Mmm!

412
00:23:02,958 --> 00:23:06,041
Krispy Kreme offered free doughnuts
to the vaccinated.

413
00:23:06,125 --> 00:23:09,708
So, by 2022, 98% of the US population

414
00:23:09,791 --> 00:23:13,791
will either have COVID-19,
or type two diabetes.

415
00:23:13,875 --> 00:23:15,750
-[drums beating]
-[crowd chanting] Just say no!

416
00:23:15,833 --> 00:23:17,333
Just say no!

417
00:23:17,416 --> 00:23:20,833
But the biggest threat
to vaccination programs?

418
00:23:20,916 --> 00:23:24,750
Nonsensical anti-vax theories which
spread quickly from person to person,

419
00:23:25,500 --> 00:23:28,666
like something for which
there is no obvious metaphor.

420
00:23:28,750 --> 00:23:31,416
Absurd theories are epidemic.

421
00:23:31,500 --> 00:23:35,333
I don't just lap up
whatever the medical establishment says.

422
00:23:35,416 --> 00:23:37,916
I have been doing my own research.

423
00:23:38,000 --> 00:23:42,708
Are they using the vaccine
to change our American DNA from within?

424
00:23:43,583 --> 00:23:45,458
Just asking questions.

425
00:23:45,541 --> 00:23:48,583
[director] So, are you vaccinated, Kathy?

426
00:23:48,666 --> 00:23:54,416
I refused to have the vaccine, twice.
So, I am double non-vaxxed.

427
00:23:54,500 --> 00:24:01,125
And you know what? [chuckles] Yeah.
I did get some "COVID-like symptoms."

428
00:24:01,208 --> 00:24:05,625
I got a small-to-medium sniffle
and a medium-to-heavy cough

429
00:24:05,708 --> 00:24:10,166
and a low-to-very-low oxygen count.

430
00:24:11,333 --> 00:24:15,833
Did you have these COVID symptoms
the day you went shopping without a mask?

431
00:24:15,916 --> 00:24:18,916
So this is great.
This guy wants me to put a mask on.

432
00:24:19,000 --> 00:24:23,833
That's a deep-state elitist dress code
and you can't make me wear one. Okay?

433
00:24:23,916 --> 00:24:26,500
Ma'am, you can't enter the store
without wearing a mask.

434
00:24:26,583 --> 00:24:29,541
With your mouth covering,
I actually can't read what you're saying.

435
00:24:29,625 --> 00:24:32,041
[director] Later that day,
you picketed a vaccine center.

436
00:24:32,125 --> 00:24:37,125
My body, my choice. My body…
My body, my choice.

437
00:24:37,208 --> 00:24:40,625
[director] Fifteen people
got COVID from you that day,

438
00:24:40,708 --> 00:24:43,083
and then you had a party.

439
00:24:43,166 --> 00:24:44,791
It was a COVID reveal party.

440
00:24:45,500 --> 00:24:47,958
[gasps] Oh! I have it!

441
00:24:48,041 --> 00:24:51,458
[laughs] I have COVID. [coughs]

442
00:24:51,541 --> 00:24:54,458
Oh, come on. It's just COVID.

443
00:24:54,541 --> 00:24:56,583
[director] And how do you feel now?

444
00:24:57,250 --> 00:24:58,541
I feel fine.

445
00:24:59,750 --> 00:25:01,833
It's not actually that bad of a disease.

446
00:25:01,916 --> 00:25:04,375
You know, it's just like
having a light summer cold.

447
00:25:04,458 --> 00:25:08,625
Except that maybe you need a machine
to help keep you alive. [giggles]

448
00:25:08,708 --> 00:25:10,416
-[machine beeping]
-I won't wear a mask.

449
00:25:10,500 --> 00:25:12,333
Take your hands off me. [gasping]

450
00:25:12,416 --> 00:25:17,291
Social media networks are accused
of profiting from vaccine misinformation.

451
00:25:17,375 --> 00:25:20,958
Actually, one of the less toxic
accusations they faced this year.

452
00:25:21,041 --> 00:25:23,833
[director] Why haven't you done more
to stop the spread of anti-vax lies

453
00:25:23,916 --> 00:25:26,041
on your social media platform YipYakker?

454
00:25:26,125 --> 00:25:31,541
Well, to take a step back, truth and lies
are really just conflicting data streams.

455
00:25:31,625 --> 00:25:33,833
Different sides of the same coin.

456
00:25:33,916 --> 00:25:38,333
I know our users value the freedom
to flip that coin themselves.

457
00:25:39,375 --> 00:25:40,708
[director] But people could die.

458
00:25:40,791 --> 00:25:43,666
Dying to protect free speech
sounds like a noble calling.

459
00:25:44,375 --> 00:25:46,083
[director] What about not dying at all?

460
00:25:46,166 --> 00:25:48,916
It should be obvious
that we don't want our users to die.

461
00:25:50,625 --> 00:25:52,541
Our share price would crumble.

462
00:25:52,625 --> 00:25:58,125
Yet, even in the face of refuseniks,
vaccines prove effective.

463
00:25:58,208 --> 00:26:00,916
Cautiously, lockdowns are unlocked.

464
00:26:01,000 --> 00:26:02,750
It was great to get a vaccine.

465
00:26:02,833 --> 00:26:06,583
It made me feel safe enough
to maybe do a few social things.

466
00:26:06,666 --> 00:26:08,250
Oh, look! Who's that actor?

467
00:26:08,333 --> 00:26:10,458
He was in that thing with that woman.

468
00:26:11,375 --> 00:26:15,916
We are allowed our freedom,
but it is now too dangerous to go outside.

469
00:26:16,000 --> 00:26:21,375
Sizzling reports reveal the weather is
starting its annual jihad against mankind.

470
00:26:21,458 --> 00:26:24,833
[reporter] The oppressive,
stifling heat wave searing the West

471
00:26:24,916 --> 00:26:28,541
is tonight delivering some of the most
dangerous temperatures of the year.

472
00:26:28,625 --> 00:26:31,625
Canada reports its highest temperature
of all time,

473
00:26:31,708 --> 00:26:36,375
causing some residents to remove their
thick plaid shirts before they catch fire.

474
00:26:36,458 --> 00:26:41,250
The weather forecast shows a map
that looks like America is in flames.

475
00:26:41,333 --> 00:26:43,416
Because it is.

476
00:26:43,500 --> 00:26:47,125
So what if we just had
the world's hottest day?

477
00:26:47,708 --> 00:26:52,333
Every year has a hottest day.
That's how hottest days work.

478
00:26:52,416 --> 00:26:54,000
We also had a coldest day.

479
00:26:54,083 --> 00:26:56,500
Does that mean
it's getting colder or hotter?

480
00:26:57,416 --> 00:26:58,625
I'm just asking questions.

481
00:26:58,708 --> 00:27:02,333
Heavy rain in Australia
leads to a bumper harvest…

482
00:27:02,416 --> 00:27:03,791
of mice.

483
00:27:03,875 --> 00:27:05,416
[reporter] On dark and on cue,

484
00:27:05,500 --> 00:27:10,625
they're here in their thousands,
scurrying, scratching, stinking mice.

485
00:27:11,625 --> 00:27:15,041
This isn't a mouse problem.
It's a mouse plague.

486
00:27:15,708 --> 00:27:18,833
The macabre news only intensifies

487
00:27:18,916 --> 00:27:23,333
as pest controllers release snakes
in an attempt to control the plague.

488
00:27:23,416 --> 00:27:26,750
The snakes must have been thinking,
"Now humans want our help?

489
00:27:26,833 --> 00:27:29,166
Because normally
they're really on our backs."

490
00:27:29,791 --> 00:27:32,958
That's half the snakes,
because all snakes really are is backs.

491
00:27:35,625 --> 00:27:40,041
Biblical floods in Germany
put the town of Kreuzberg on the map

492
00:27:40,125 --> 00:27:42,833
while simultaneously washing it off it.

493
00:27:45,750 --> 00:27:48,000
When I was little,
the weather was well-behaved.

494
00:27:48,083 --> 00:27:50,666
You know, it mainly stayed in the sky
where it belongs.

495
00:27:50,750 --> 00:27:52,583
But now it's been radicalized.

496
00:27:52,666 --> 00:27:55,875
It's carrying out extremist
weather attacks all over the shop.

497
00:27:57,583 --> 00:28:02,416
Weatherism. Is that the word for it?
Don't know why it's so angry.

498
00:28:02,500 --> 00:28:05,916
Maybe it's been spending
too much time on social media.

499
00:28:06,000 --> 00:28:09,958
No, we've tried pumping all those gases
into the sky to calm it down.

500
00:28:10,041 --> 00:28:14,125
Decades we've been doing our best at that.
Hasn't worked.

501
00:28:14,208 --> 00:28:18,708
Then, in news footage
as mesmerizing as it is apocalyptic,

502
00:28:18,791 --> 00:28:22,333
water, previously considered
the opposite of fire,

503
00:28:22,416 --> 00:28:25,375
bursts into flames in the Gulf of Mexico.

504
00:28:25,458 --> 00:28:27,750
[director] Are you worried about
climate change, Gemma?

505
00:28:27,833 --> 00:28:30,208
It makes me a bit anxious, yeah.

506
00:28:30,291 --> 00:28:33,708
But only about a fifth
as when I can't find my phone.

507
00:28:33,791 --> 00:28:38,250
I suppose the sea literally burning should
probably worry me more than that, but…

508
00:28:38,333 --> 00:28:42,708
Actually, where is my phone?
Can someone ring it? Oh, it's--

509
00:28:42,791 --> 00:28:47,500
Yeah, panic over. See? It's all okay now.

510
00:28:48,208 --> 00:28:50,416
[director]
Apart from the sea being on fire.

511
00:28:50,500 --> 00:28:51,666
Eh?

512
00:28:52,791 --> 00:28:56,083
With life on Earth
looking increasingly precarious,

513
00:28:56,166 --> 00:29:00,916
thoughts turned to how to protect
our most beautiful and precious resource.

514
00:29:01,791 --> 00:29:07,791
Billionaires, the mega-rich star
in self-funded, self-promoting,

515
00:29:07,875 --> 00:29:10,833
self-indulgent space extravaganzas,

516
00:29:10,916 --> 00:29:15,125
shooting themselves as far from
the dying planet as coins will allow.

517
00:29:17,583 --> 00:29:21,708
[Parker] Astronauts used to be selected
based on merit, suitability,

518
00:29:21,791 --> 00:29:23,208
and the right stuff.

519
00:29:23,291 --> 00:29:27,500
Now it's mega-rich publicity magnates.
It's the Price is Right stuff.

520
00:29:27,583 --> 00:29:31,750
[commentator]
Astronaut 001, Richard Branson.

521
00:29:33,666 --> 00:29:39,125
First to depart Earth and star in his own
Out of This World Corporate Special,

522
00:29:39,208 --> 00:29:42,958
Pirate King Richard Branson
in his Virgin Galactic Craft.

523
00:29:43,041 --> 00:29:47,541
[crew member] Three, two, one.
Release, release, release.

524
00:29:47,625 --> 00:29:50,375
[Madison]
Oh, it's an inspiring age of trailblazers.

525
00:29:50,458 --> 00:29:52,541
Yuri Gagarin was the first man in space.

526
00:29:52,625 --> 00:29:55,583
Alan Shepard,
the first American man in space.

527
00:29:55,666 --> 00:30:00,000
And now we got Richard Branson,
the first unnecessary man in space.

528
00:30:00,083 --> 00:30:04,750
I was once a child with a dream.
Now I'm an adult in a spaceship.

529
00:30:08,000 --> 00:30:10,708
[narrator] Days later,
more astonishing scenes.

530
00:30:10,791 --> 00:30:16,208
As the gentrification of space continues,
another rich kid's dream is live-streamed

531
00:30:16,291 --> 00:30:21,708
as ultra-billionaire
and world's most eligible skull Jeff Bezos

532
00:30:21,791 --> 00:30:25,833
blasts off inside a rocket-powered
Freudian metaphor,

533
00:30:25,916 --> 00:30:29,750
every suggestive moment
captured for a smirking public.

534
00:30:29,833 --> 00:30:32,500
[viewer] Go, Jeff! You are going to space.

535
00:30:34,250 --> 00:30:39,666
There was much schoolboys' sniggering
about the shape of Mr. Bezos's craft.

536
00:30:39,750 --> 00:30:43,125
But I felt, watching the launch,
that there was something

537
00:30:43,208 --> 00:30:46,375
really rather poetic
and inspiring about it.

538
00:30:46,458 --> 00:30:51,750
This self-made man proudly thrusting
his penis into the heavens,

539
00:30:51,833 --> 00:30:54,916
free from shame,
defying the gods themselves

540
00:30:55,000 --> 00:30:58,541
with this immense blazing phallus

541
00:30:58,625 --> 00:31:01,625
while the rest of the world
looked on in awe.

542
00:31:02,500 --> 00:31:05,833
[director] Do you think the ship would
have been better if it also had balls?

543
00:31:05,916 --> 00:31:07,625
Oh, I think so. Yes. Yes.

544
00:31:08,791 --> 00:31:12,958
The size of the spacecraft is misleading
in these fascinating images.

545
00:31:13,041 --> 00:31:16,708
Bezos and his fellow passengers
are confined to the rocket's glans

546
00:31:16,791 --> 00:31:21,125
for the duration of the mission,
as this intimate footage discloses.

547
00:31:23,125 --> 00:31:25,166
-Yeah! Well done.
-Yeah!

548
00:31:25,250 --> 00:31:27,166
-Who wants a Skittle?
-Oh, yeah, yeah.

549
00:31:29,208 --> 00:31:30,458
[crew member] William Shatner?

550
00:31:30,541 --> 00:31:34,166
Later in the year,
Bezos's publicity machine captures

551
00:31:34,250 --> 00:31:38,125
every second of the most postmodern
space tourists so far.

552
00:31:38,208 --> 00:31:43,208
Star Trek's William Shatner
is blasted into the Ironicosphere.

553
00:31:43,291 --> 00:31:46,708
It is absurd
that Shatner was blasted into orbit

554
00:31:46,791 --> 00:31:49,833
simply because
he once played a spaceman on TV.

555
00:31:49,916 --> 00:31:55,125
In my youth, I once played a very
well-received Reverend Canon Chasuble

556
00:31:55,208 --> 00:31:58,833
in my college production
of The Importance of Being Earnest.

557
00:31:58,916 --> 00:32:02,208
I got rather more laughs
than some of the principal characters,

558
00:32:02,291 --> 00:32:04,166
as I seem to remember.

559
00:32:04,250 --> 00:32:08,375
Um… But… But…

560
00:32:10,125 --> 00:32:14,125
But… But just because
I once played a clergyman,

561
00:32:14,208 --> 00:32:18,666
does that mean I should now be allowed
to officiate at weddings and at funerals?

562
00:32:18,750 --> 00:32:20,125
I don't think it does.

563
00:32:21,791 --> 00:32:25,833
Back on Earth's fragile crust,
the starting pistol is finally fired

564
00:32:25,916 --> 00:32:29,625
on perfect humans' trade show,
the Olympics.

565
00:32:31,166 --> 00:32:34,041
Everyone was really looking forward to it
because the Olympics

566
00:32:34,125 --> 00:32:38,416
is one of the few genuinely global events
that isn't a pandemic.

567
00:32:38,500 --> 00:32:40,458
As the news excitedly reports,

568
00:32:40,541 --> 00:32:44,041
there is something lacking
from the Tokyo installment:

569
00:32:44,125 --> 00:32:45,375
people.

570
00:32:45,458 --> 00:32:48,333
[announcer] It's happening.
A year later than we imagined

571
00:32:48,416 --> 00:32:52,541
in front of empty seats
and under an inescapable shadow of COVID.

572
00:32:54,041 --> 00:32:56,708
[narrator] The world enjoys
a haunting sporting spectacle.

573
00:32:56,791 --> 00:33:01,125
But when US star Simone Biles
pulls out of her gymnastics event,

574
00:33:01,208 --> 00:33:04,333
her mental health issues
dominate the news.

575
00:33:05,333 --> 00:33:07,666
Gymnast Simone Biles,
the greatest of all time,

576
00:33:07,750 --> 00:33:11,416
is withdrawing from another Olympic event
to focus on her mental health.

577
00:33:11,500 --> 00:33:14,208
Yeah, I can see why she didn't want to
go through with her routine.

578
00:33:14,291 --> 00:33:18,250
She just… She wasn't happy.

579
00:33:18,333 --> 00:33:20,625
You know, sad people,
they don't do acceptable cartwheels.

580
00:33:20,708 --> 00:33:23,416
And even when they try,
the overall effect is kind of bittersweet.

581
00:33:24,458 --> 00:33:28,083
The Afghan team
failed to win a medal in Tokyo,

582
00:33:28,166 --> 00:33:30,500
but at home in Afghanistan,

583
00:33:30,583 --> 00:33:33,791
the Taliban are about to take gold
in the shooting.

584
00:33:33,875 --> 00:33:35,875
[firing]

585
00:33:35,958 --> 00:33:38,875
Afghanistan has been riven by conflict
for centuries,

586
00:33:38,958 --> 00:33:42,416
despite intensive meddling
by Western powers.

587
00:33:42,500 --> 00:33:45,958
Afghanistan, or more correctly,
Af-khan-istan,

588
00:33:46,041 --> 00:33:48,166
is called the graveyard of empires.

589
00:33:48,250 --> 00:33:51,583
The British Empire failed there,
the Soviet Empire failed there,

590
00:33:51,666 --> 00:33:53,458
even the Galactic Empire failed

591
00:33:53,541 --> 00:33:56,541
despite the dynamic leadership
of Lord Vader.

592
00:33:56,625 --> 00:33:58,125
[director] But that's…

593
00:33:58,208 --> 00:34:00,750
-What?
-Never mind.

594
00:34:00,833 --> 00:34:06,083
In 2020, President Trump done did
do a deal with fellow feminists,

595
00:34:06,166 --> 00:34:07,166
the Taliban.

596
00:34:07,250 --> 00:34:11,541
For two decades, we've been searching
for a military solution to Afghanistan,

597
00:34:11,625 --> 00:34:12,875
and then we found one:

598
00:34:12,958 --> 00:34:14,625
run away.

599
00:34:14,708 --> 00:34:16,750
Submission accomplished.

600
00:34:17,916 --> 00:34:22,500
President Biden announces
a full US withdrawal by September 11th,

601
00:34:23,125 --> 00:34:24,916
freeing future history students

602
00:34:25,000 --> 00:34:28,750
from the tyranny of memorizing
too many different dates.

603
00:34:30,250 --> 00:34:33,333
I suppose the American soldiers
are like everyone else these days

604
00:34:33,416 --> 00:34:34,833
and want to work from home.

605
00:34:35,500 --> 00:34:38,791
The pace of the US withdrawal
surprises everyone.

606
00:34:38,875 --> 00:34:40,916
Last time a president
pulled out that quickly

607
00:34:41,000 --> 00:34:42,916
was during the Clinton administration.

608
00:34:43,666 --> 00:34:47,916
That's a sex joke about a tragedy.
I'm not proud of myself for that one. Ugh.

609
00:34:48,708 --> 00:34:51,666
US troops vacate Bagram Air Base,

610
00:34:51,750 --> 00:34:56,208
leaving it in disarray
and sending their Airbnb rating crashing.

611
00:34:56,291 --> 00:35:00,000
Is the Taliban takeover of Afghanistan
now inevitable?

612
00:35:00,083 --> 00:35:02,041
No. It is not.

613
00:35:02,583 --> 00:35:04,916
But Biden couldn't be more wrong.

614
00:35:05,000 --> 00:35:06,416
[protestors shouting]

615
00:35:06,500 --> 00:35:08,541
The Taliban quickly take Kabul.

616
00:35:08,625 --> 00:35:10,041
[gunfire]

617
00:35:10,125 --> 00:35:13,500
[reporter] They captured Kabul
with comparatively few fighters,

618
00:35:13,583 --> 00:35:17,833
but say 10,000 reinforcements
will soon be here

619
00:35:17,916 --> 00:35:20,500
to completely dominate the capital.

620
00:35:21,291 --> 00:35:23,375
[narrator] The new Taliban
claim to come in peace,

621
00:35:23,458 --> 00:35:25,000
a point they're keen to press home

622
00:35:25,083 --> 00:35:28,583
with a charm offensive
on Afghan nightly news.

623
00:35:28,666 --> 00:35:30,583
[speaking Dari]

624
00:35:36,291 --> 00:35:40,625
There's agonizing footage
as anxious Afghans flee the city.

625
00:35:40,708 --> 00:35:42,416
[crowd shouting]

626
00:35:44,458 --> 00:35:48,083
On the 31st of August,
with the Taliban in control,

627
00:35:48,166 --> 00:35:51,375
the last American soldier
leaves Afghanistan in the dark…

628
00:35:52,041 --> 00:35:53,083
ages.

629
00:35:53,166 --> 00:35:55,375
I know they scare women and whatever,

630
00:35:55,458 --> 00:36:01,791
but actually, looking at their socials,
the 'Ban seem pretty chill.

631
00:36:01,875 --> 00:36:05,458
Okay, guys. So today I'm checking out
some of the actual shots of the Taliban.

632
00:36:05,541 --> 00:36:07,083
Let's see what the boogeyman is up to.

633
00:36:08,750 --> 00:36:10,208
Cool. So they go boating.

634
00:36:10,291 --> 00:36:13,125
Hitting the merry-go-round. Love it.

635
00:36:13,208 --> 00:36:14,375
At the gym.

636
00:36:15,041 --> 00:36:16,333
Got to work on those guns.

637
00:36:16,416 --> 00:36:18,291
-[gunfire]
-Yeah, they sure do like guns.

638
00:36:19,291 --> 00:36:21,875
That's a lot of guns.
This video should have a trigger warning.

639
00:36:21,958 --> 00:36:23,375
[chuckles] It's a gun joke, guys.

640
00:36:24,458 --> 00:36:27,458
I think they're trying to shoot
our western god from the sky.

641
00:36:27,541 --> 00:36:29,000
Man, you guys are cray-cray.

642
00:36:29,791 --> 00:36:32,166
Okay, so, well, there you go, ladies.
I've checked it out.

643
00:36:32,250 --> 00:36:34,625
The Taliban, they like to party
and they love their guns,

644
00:36:34,708 --> 00:36:37,666
but looks like to me that they're
no bigger threat to you and your rights

645
00:36:37,750 --> 00:36:39,000
than the US Supreme Court.

646
00:36:39,083 --> 00:36:42,875
Peace out. Like and subscribe.
Goolies #TheFoolies.

647
00:36:45,541 --> 00:36:48,583
Also intent on turning back the clock,

648
00:36:48,666 --> 00:36:52,916
another failed state
ruled by fundamentalist extremists

649
00:36:53,000 --> 00:36:56,250
who use religious dogma
to restrict women's freedom:

650
00:36:56,791 --> 00:36:58,375
Texas.

651
00:36:58,458 --> 00:37:02,583
Stark news reports reveal
the state's strict new abortion law.

652
00:37:02,666 --> 00:37:05,625
Texas's sweeping new abortion law
now in effect,

653
00:37:05,708 --> 00:37:08,083
the Supreme Court
deciding not to block the measure

654
00:37:08,166 --> 00:37:10,500
which bans abortions after six weeks.

655
00:37:10,583 --> 00:37:12,416
They call it the Heartbeat Act,

656
00:37:12,500 --> 00:37:15,625
but you can't hear a heartbeat
in any of the lawmakers.

657
00:37:15,708 --> 00:37:20,333
Instructive reports reveal there is money
to be made from abortion spotting.

658
00:37:20,416 --> 00:37:23,208
The law also allows private citizens
to bring civil suits

659
00:37:23,291 --> 00:37:26,750
against anyone who assists
a pregnant person seeking an abortion.

660
00:37:26,833 --> 00:37:29,875
Informing on your neighbor
is a very Christian practice.

661
00:37:30,458 --> 00:37:34,500
If Jesus had never been snitched on,
he'd never have ended up on a cross.

662
00:37:34,583 --> 00:37:38,291
Well, I wanted the women of Texas
to know that I was totally on their side.

663
00:37:39,083 --> 00:37:42,500
I did some digging
and I DMed some Texan girls

664
00:37:42,583 --> 00:37:45,416
and I just let 'em know
that I was here for 'em

665
00:37:45,500 --> 00:37:49,416
and that if they wanted to meet up
or talk about their sexual choices,

666
00:37:49,500 --> 00:37:51,041
that I was really open to that.

667
00:37:52,041 --> 00:37:54,208
And I didn't hear
from any of them, though.

668
00:37:55,083 --> 00:37:58,541
But that just shows you that this is
really all being pushed underground.

669
00:37:59,833 --> 00:38:02,375
The 20th anniversary of 9/11.

670
00:38:02,458 --> 00:38:05,416
President Biden attends
a poignant remembrance ceremony

671
00:38:05,500 --> 00:38:07,041
alongside former presidents.

672
00:38:07,125 --> 00:38:12,875
Trump marks the day with a somber,
respectful pay-per-view boxing commentary.

673
00:38:13,416 --> 00:38:15,375
I've had a lot of fights
and I like fighters

674
00:38:15,458 --> 00:38:18,541
and I like the toughness of fighters,
they don't play games.

675
00:38:18,625 --> 00:38:22,958
Riding a wave of nostalgia,
Trump continues to peddle lies

676
00:38:23,041 --> 00:38:27,375
at fist-pumping, COVID-spiking,
news-making rallies.

677
00:38:27,458 --> 00:38:30,041
Make America great again, again.

678
00:38:30,125 --> 00:38:32,000
-[crowd cheering]
-Again, again.

679
00:38:32,083 --> 00:38:34,333
Trump never seems
to have properly gone away.

680
00:38:34,416 --> 00:38:38,416
If there is a deep state,
they're not doing a very good job.

681
00:38:39,833 --> 00:38:44,416
Biden receives a boost
as news surfaces of a new submarine pact

682
00:38:44,500 --> 00:38:50,708
between Australia, the UK and the US,
dubbed AUKUS.

683
00:38:50,791 --> 00:38:53,250
AUKUS sounds strange
and all these acronyms--

684
00:38:53,333 --> 00:38:54,625
It's a good one.

685
00:38:54,708 --> 00:38:58,000
But correspondents reveal
a diplomatic faux pas.

686
00:38:58,083 --> 00:38:59,458
The French are absolutely furious

687
00:38:59,541 --> 00:39:02,291
because they have put
years of high-level talks

688
00:39:02,375 --> 00:39:05,291
and high-level diplomacy into this
up to the highest levels of state.

689
00:39:05,375 --> 00:39:07,041
The French thought
they should be involved,

690
00:39:07,583 --> 00:39:10,166
but then it would be "FAUKUS."

691
00:39:10,250 --> 00:39:13,625
"Fuck us"? Are you kidding?
We'd be laughed off the face of the globe.

692
00:39:13,708 --> 00:39:18,416
Why not get India, Thailand,
Armenia and Samoa involved too?

693
00:39:18,500 --> 00:39:20,375
Then it could be "FAUKUS IN THE ARSE."

694
00:39:21,333 --> 00:39:23,541
Well, that took
quite a lot of working out.

695
00:39:23,625 --> 00:39:25,000
I hope you keep it in.

696
00:39:27,916 --> 00:39:31,666
As vaccines hold COVID
at vaccinated arm's length,

697
00:39:31,750 --> 00:39:34,416
green shoots of pop culture emerge.

698
00:39:34,500 --> 00:39:38,791
Daniel Craig's epic final James Bond film,
No Time to Die,

699
00:39:38,875 --> 00:39:40,875
belatedly arrives in theaters.

700
00:39:40,958 --> 00:39:45,458
The contemporary interpretation of Bond is
filled with trademark stunts and thrills,

701
00:39:45,541 --> 00:39:50,875
but features 65% less misogyny,
and has been gathering dust for a while.

702
00:39:51,916 --> 00:39:53,708
You can imagine
why I've come back to play.

703
00:39:53,791 --> 00:39:55,708
The delay was worrying.

704
00:39:55,791 --> 00:39:58,333
Daniel Craig was much younger
when they made it.

705
00:39:58,416 --> 00:40:01,333
Now he's older. He's going to find it
much harder to do the stunts

706
00:40:01,416 --> 00:40:03,458
than when he first filmed them.

707
00:40:03,541 --> 00:40:06,333
[director] Um, it doesn't matter
how long ago it was filmed.

708
00:40:06,416 --> 00:40:08,750
He'll be same age in the footage.

709
00:40:08,833 --> 00:40:10,125
You sure about that?

710
00:40:10,750 --> 00:40:13,625
Because when I watched
the Roger Moore ones,

711
00:40:13,708 --> 00:40:17,166
Bond looks about 40 years older
than the women he's attacking

712
00:40:18,041 --> 00:40:19,958
whereas at the time, it was fine.

713
00:40:20,833 --> 00:40:25,958
No Time to Die proves a success
in luring audiences back into the theaters

714
00:40:26,041 --> 00:40:29,125
for the communal experience
of watching Bond kill people,

715
00:40:29,208 --> 00:40:31,833
get out of cars and look handsome.

716
00:40:31,916 --> 00:40:33,333
I forgot what cinemas were like.

717
00:40:33,416 --> 00:40:35,750
You can't pause the film
when you need the loo.

718
00:40:35,833 --> 00:40:37,666
So I had to go right there in the seat.

719
00:40:39,125 --> 00:40:41,500
I'd forgotten. That's not okay, either.

720
00:40:41,583 --> 00:40:43,791
I enjoyed watching it on the big screen.

721
00:40:43,875 --> 00:40:45,916
And as a thriller, it was genuinely tense

722
00:40:46,000 --> 00:40:49,083
because a dry cough
kept echoing around the movie theater.

723
00:40:49,166 --> 00:40:53,583
Showbiz coverage of Craig's swan song
reignites predictable speculation

724
00:40:53,666 --> 00:40:55,666
over who the next Bond will be,

725
00:40:55,750 --> 00:40:58,250
even though it would help
his undercover work

726
00:40:58,333 --> 00:41:01,208
if his identity was never revealed.

727
00:41:01,291 --> 00:41:05,416
The latest 007, Daniel Craig,
said he's ready to move on from the role,

728
00:41:05,500 --> 00:41:08,708
and now fans are betting big
on who could take over.

729
00:41:08,791 --> 00:41:10,791
Anyone can play James Bond.

730
00:41:10,875 --> 00:41:16,708
And by anyone, I mean any white male
aged approximately 35 to 50.

731
00:41:16,791 --> 00:41:18,666
[director]
Would you consider playing the role?

732
00:41:18,750 --> 00:41:22,041
[scoffs] Well, there is not much point
in me even applying, is there?

733
00:41:22,125 --> 00:41:24,791
Because they do not want
people like me anymore.

734
00:41:24,875 --> 00:41:28,041
Now it is James Bond double-woke-seven.

735
00:41:28,125 --> 00:41:31,250
The name is Bond, James Bond. He/him.

736
00:41:31,333 --> 00:41:33,375
They've ruined the character, of course.

737
00:41:33,458 --> 00:41:35,500
You do know
he spends the entire latest film

738
00:41:35,583 --> 00:41:37,958
wearing a dress
and taking mindfulness breaks.

739
00:41:38,041 --> 00:41:39,666
[director] I don't think that's true.

740
00:41:39,750 --> 00:41:42,041
Well, I haven't seen it,
and I don't intend to.

741
00:41:42,125 --> 00:41:47,083
It is ridiculous, this liberal Taliban
tearing down great men like Bond

742
00:41:47,166 --> 00:41:48,333
as if they were mere statues.

743
00:41:48,416 --> 00:41:51,500
And, of course, you can't even call them
great men anymore.

744
00:41:51,583 --> 00:41:54,375
No, no, they are women without cervices.

745
00:41:54,458 --> 00:41:58,416
They are destroying everything,
and I mean everything.

746
00:41:58,500 --> 00:42:01,041
-Who do you mean by "they"?
-They, them.

747
00:42:01,708 --> 00:42:04,208
-And are those their pronouns?
-Oh, do fuck off.

748
00:42:05,041 --> 00:42:07,208
But the biggest screen hit of the year

749
00:42:07,291 --> 00:42:09,916
is disturbing South Korean
splatter jamboree…

750
00:42:10,583 --> 00:42:12,291
Squid Game.

751
00:42:12,375 --> 00:42:13,750
[screaming]

752
00:42:14,791 --> 00:42:16,250
I loved it.

753
00:42:16,333 --> 00:42:19,791
It was a sort of
Korean Great British Bake Off.

754
00:42:19,875 --> 00:42:21,708
There were high-pressure challenges…

755
00:42:21,791 --> 00:42:24,208
-[grunting]
-[screaming]

756
00:42:24,291 --> 00:42:26,125
…expressionless hosts…

757
00:42:26,208 --> 00:42:28,458
[speaking Korean]

758
00:42:29,625 --> 00:42:31,583
…shock eliminations…

759
00:42:31,666 --> 00:42:32,750
[screaming]

760
00:42:32,833 --> 00:42:35,250
…and, of course, lots of biscuits.

761
00:42:36,250 --> 00:42:37,916
I might have a go at making them myself.

762
00:42:38,000 --> 00:42:39,500
Nom, nom, nom.

763
00:42:40,375 --> 00:42:41,500
Is that what you say?

764
00:42:41,583 --> 00:42:43,041
Here we go again.

765
00:42:43,125 --> 00:42:46,166
Another TV drama
with an absurdly diverse cast.

766
00:42:46,250 --> 00:42:47,750
All Asian?

767
00:42:47,833 --> 00:42:50,875
Really?
When does that happen in real life?

768
00:42:50,958 --> 00:42:52,541
It's simply not believable.

769
00:42:52,625 --> 00:42:55,500
And yet, of course,
the baddies are privileged white men.

770
00:42:55,583 --> 00:42:57,708
How does that reflect society?

771
00:42:57,791 --> 00:42:59,125
[grunts]

772
00:42:59,208 --> 00:43:01,333
The whole thing was hyper-woke.

773
00:43:01,416 --> 00:43:05,083
The guards wore masks
over their whole goddamn faces.

774
00:43:05,166 --> 00:43:06,708
[humming Squid Game theme]

775
00:43:06,791 --> 00:43:10,875
The dystopian drama generates
finger-pointing news reports.

776
00:43:10,958 --> 00:43:13,000
It is very, very violent.

777
00:43:13,083 --> 00:43:15,125
It's fiction, obviously,
and it's meant for adults,

778
00:43:15,208 --> 00:43:18,625
but that, unfortunately, has not stopped
children from gaining access to it.

779
00:43:18,708 --> 00:43:20,375
Children should not be watching
Squid Game.

780
00:43:20,458 --> 00:43:25,375
Do we really want our kids growing up
speaking Korean with English subtitles?

781
00:43:25,458 --> 00:43:28,791
You'd think parents would be glad their
kids are playing actual physical games

782
00:43:28,875 --> 00:43:30,750
rather than just staring
at a screen all day.

783
00:43:31,875 --> 00:43:34,583
Even if it does
stop them sleeping at night.

784
00:43:34,666 --> 00:43:39,333
But mankind's long-cherished ability
to relentlessly share and comment

785
00:43:39,416 --> 00:43:43,208
on hilarious Squid Game memes
suddenly crashes to a halt

786
00:43:43,291 --> 00:43:48,250
when, in the most shocking event of 2021,
Facebook stops working for a bit.

787
00:43:51,125 --> 00:43:55,333
The new-media outage
overjoys a gloating old media.

788
00:43:55,416 --> 00:43:59,083
Tonight, The Massive Outage:
Facebook, Instagram and WhatsApp.

789
00:43:59,166 --> 00:44:02,375
When Facebook went down,
I immediately did a reaction video for it.

790
00:44:02,458 --> 00:44:04,416
No!

791
00:44:04,500 --> 00:44:07,250
But I was really limited
in where I could post it.

792
00:44:07,333 --> 00:44:10,375
For a few hours,
with nobody validating their existence,

793
00:44:10,458 --> 00:44:13,000
many users assumed they had died.

794
00:44:13,083 --> 00:44:14,666
None of us could use social media.

795
00:44:14,750 --> 00:44:16,708
It was like being Donald Trump
for an afternoon.

796
00:44:16,791 --> 00:44:20,333
It was a horrible few hours.
I kept staring at my phone,

797
00:44:20,416 --> 00:44:22,416
wondering if any messages
would come through.

798
00:44:23,000 --> 00:44:26,500
None did.
So it was like a normal night, actually.

799
00:44:26,583 --> 00:44:29,166
[presenter]
Facebook under fire once again.

800
00:44:29,250 --> 00:44:31,708
[narrator] There is more negative news
for the social network

801
00:44:31,791 --> 00:44:34,958
when whistleblower Frances Haugen
tells the US Senate

802
00:44:35,041 --> 00:44:37,166
that Facebook is aware it's toxic.

803
00:44:38,083 --> 00:44:41,250
Content that elicits
an extreme reaction from you

804
00:44:41,333 --> 00:44:44,250
is more likely to get a click,
a comment or a re-share.

805
00:44:44,333 --> 00:44:49,916
Her testimony receives seven likes,
three loves, two cares and an angry face.

806
00:44:50,000 --> 00:44:53,041
Well, social media makes people
do things they don't want to do.

807
00:44:53,125 --> 00:44:56,666
I didn't want to take 400 pictures of legs
and hot dogs by the swimming pool.

808
00:44:56,750 --> 00:44:58,541
No, Instagram made me.

809
00:44:58,625 --> 00:45:03,166
I did the milk crate challenge,
and I hate milk and crates.

810
00:45:03,250 --> 00:45:06,500
I'm as much of a victim as everyone else.

811
00:45:06,583 --> 00:45:09,916
Influencers are
some of the most easily influenced,

812
00:45:10,000 --> 00:45:11,833
and who's looking out for us?

813
00:45:11,916 --> 00:45:14,125
[reporter] Facebook posts incited violence

814
00:45:14,208 --> 00:45:16,291
while the platform enabled
human trafficking.

815
00:45:16,375 --> 00:45:19,375
[narrator] Social networks
come under heavy media scrutiny,

816
00:45:19,458 --> 00:45:23,666
in particular, their ability
to ruthlessly monetize anger and despair

817
00:45:23,750 --> 00:45:26,333
even more efficiently than Adele.

818
00:45:27,166 --> 00:45:29,375
[director] On your social network,
YipYakker,

819
00:45:29,458 --> 00:45:33,750
users are just repeatedly
expressing rage and misery.

820
00:45:33,833 --> 00:45:39,083
And it's essential to let them do that.
It's optimized to keep them in that state.

821
00:45:39,166 --> 00:45:43,875
We found maintaining a sense
of limitless fury keeps our users engaged,

822
00:45:43,958 --> 00:45:47,250
and if they're engaged,
they must be enjoying themselves,

823
00:45:47,333 --> 00:45:49,458
even if they're desperately unhappy.

824
00:45:49,541 --> 00:45:52,291
In fact, especially then,

825
00:45:52,375 --> 00:45:56,500
because desperate unhappiness
also equals greater engagement.

826
00:45:57,166 --> 00:46:00,000
Our company is now Meta.

827
00:46:00,083 --> 00:46:02,750
A month later,
in a hypnotic corporate event,

828
00:46:02,833 --> 00:46:05,500
Facebook regurgitates itself as Meta

829
00:46:05,583 --> 00:46:10,333
with a new logo, the symbol for infinity,
the company's desired profits.

830
00:46:10,416 --> 00:46:12,791
Human impersonator Mark Zuckerberg

831
00:46:12,875 --> 00:46:16,916
excitedly reveals diverting plans
to spend billions

832
00:46:17,000 --> 00:46:20,458
on a virtual reality space
he calls the metaverse.

833
00:46:20,541 --> 00:46:24,875
I'm proud of what we've built so far,
and excited about what comes next.

834
00:46:24,958 --> 00:46:30,166
[Austin] You can see it's a fantasy world
because it's full of cool, arty types.

835
00:46:30,250 --> 00:46:32,875
Not like the real Facebook
full of sex pests and perverts.

836
00:46:32,958 --> 00:46:35,333
That's who's actually going to be
in the metaverse.

837
00:46:36,375 --> 00:46:38,458
They should really call it
"the Me Too Verse."

838
00:46:38,541 --> 00:46:39,791
I was impressed.

839
00:46:39,875 --> 00:46:44,666
Zuckerberg's avatar actually looks like
a more lifelike version of him than he is.

840
00:46:44,750 --> 00:46:46,166
All right. Perfect.

841
00:46:46,250 --> 00:46:49,333
A virtual reality world
looks increasingly appealing

842
00:46:50,208 --> 00:46:55,208
since, in actual reality,
the world is still trying to kill us.

843
00:46:56,541 --> 00:47:02,250
The much-anticipated COP 26 Climate
Conference opens in Glasgow, London.

844
00:47:02,791 --> 00:47:06,083
Mankind's last chance
to negotiate peace terms with the Earth,

845
00:47:06,166 --> 00:47:08,750
according to doom-laden coverage.

846
00:47:08,833 --> 00:47:12,916
None of us can escape
the worst that's yet to come

847
00:47:13,000 --> 00:47:15,208
if we fail to seize this moment.

848
00:47:15,291 --> 00:47:19,500
The conference's declared mission:
to stop the world getting too hot.

849
00:47:19,583 --> 00:47:22,208
There are very serious consequences
for the planet

850
00:47:22,291 --> 00:47:25,791
if we don't keep global warming
below 1.5 degrees Celsius.

851
00:47:25,875 --> 00:47:29,041
-[ominous music playing]
-Droughts, famines, millions homeless,

852
00:47:29,125 --> 00:47:31,166
acid oceans, dead zones and…

853
00:47:31,833 --> 00:47:34,250
Look, enough. Either he goes or I do.

854
00:47:35,583 --> 00:47:36,791
Yep. No problem. He can go.

855
00:47:38,375 --> 00:47:39,500
Please.

856
00:47:39,583 --> 00:47:42,750
Is the end of the world not fascinating
enough without background music?

857
00:47:42,833 --> 00:47:45,041
[protestors chanting]

858
00:47:46,083 --> 00:47:47,916
While the world waits nervously

859
00:47:48,000 --> 00:47:50,958
for whatever the conference
will finally fail to announce,

860
00:47:51,041 --> 00:47:54,833
Glasgow becomes a focus
for climate activists.

861
00:47:54,916 --> 00:47:57,000
[Goolies] Now that
the whole BLM thing's been fixed,

862
00:47:57,083 --> 00:48:00,500
I had the bandwidth
to get involved in climate change.

863
00:48:00,583 --> 00:48:06,333
I want to be, like, the Greta Thunberg
of environmentalism, you know.

864
00:48:06,416 --> 00:48:08,125
Like, a lot of people, they stay at home,

865
00:48:08,208 --> 00:48:12,375
and because they don't see
the reality of climate change up close,

866
00:48:13,333 --> 00:48:15,166
they don't even think about it.

867
00:48:15,250 --> 00:48:18,208
And so, what I wanted to do
is flip the script on that.

868
00:48:18,291 --> 00:48:22,958
So, I actually went to Greenland
to see the melting icebergs for myself,

869
00:48:23,041 --> 00:48:27,791
and then to a wildfire in California
and a beach party in Cancún.

870
00:48:28,541 --> 00:48:29,750
[dance music playing]

871
00:48:29,833 --> 00:48:31,625
[director] Was that a climate emergency?

872
00:48:31,708 --> 00:48:35,041
No, but you got to relax sometimes.

873
00:48:35,125 --> 00:48:39,958
Avoid burnout,
especially with all the burnout going on.

874
00:48:40,041 --> 00:48:42,000
[director]
How did you get to these places?

875
00:48:42,083 --> 00:48:45,000
Uh, private jet, obviously. [laughs]

876
00:48:45,083 --> 00:48:47,750
I know what you're going to say,
it's bad for the environment, but…

877
00:48:47,833 --> 00:48:52,000
Because the purpose of the trip was to
persuade others not to use fossil fuels,

878
00:48:52,083 --> 00:48:55,541
technically, I mean, it's carbon neutral.

879
00:48:55,625 --> 00:48:58,875
I agree with the protesters.
There is no Planet B.

880
00:48:58,958 --> 00:49:02,208
I've had space probes looking for it
for a decade.

881
00:49:02,291 --> 00:49:05,166
We have to protect the environment

882
00:49:05,250 --> 00:49:08,291
for the people who will live on Earth
in a 100 years' time.

883
00:49:08,375 --> 00:49:10,416
[director] Like our children's children?

884
00:49:11,166 --> 00:49:12,625
Actually, I was thinking of me.

885
00:49:12,708 --> 00:49:17,791
If my cryogenics technology works,
I suppose other people's children as well.

886
00:49:17,875 --> 00:49:19,583
I'll need someone to do my dry cleaning.

887
00:49:20,375 --> 00:49:24,250
A climate deal is finally brokered,
but it is not as promised.

888
00:49:24,333 --> 00:49:26,666
Mankind has moved
from ignoring the climate

889
00:49:26,750 --> 00:49:30,416
to gaslighting it,
which is even worse for the environment.

890
00:49:31,291 --> 00:49:34,625
India and China refused a commitment
to phase out coal,

891
00:49:34,708 --> 00:49:38,125
preferring instead
to phase down the Seychelles.

892
00:49:38,208 --> 00:49:42,583
COP 26 has been a failure.
It's a phase-out…

893
00:49:42,666 --> 00:49:44,916
There are emotional scenes
at the conference

894
00:49:45,000 --> 00:49:47,250
as the compromised deal is announced.

895
00:49:47,333 --> 00:49:50,375
COP president Alok Sharma openly weeps,

896
00:49:50,458 --> 00:49:53,583
only adding to already dangerous
sea levels.

897
00:49:54,416 --> 00:49:57,750
Just think about it.
If sea levels do rise,

898
00:49:57,833 --> 00:50:01,750
it's only gonna drown the liberals
on the East and West Coasts.

899
00:50:01,833 --> 00:50:04,625
The blue states will just get a bit bluer.

900
00:50:04,708 --> 00:50:07,750
All sounds bad, but let's just flip it.

901
00:50:07,833 --> 00:50:12,541
What if, instead of rising,
the sea actually boils away in the heat?

902
00:50:12,625 --> 00:50:14,625
That could have some amazing upsides.

903
00:50:14,708 --> 00:50:17,333
It'll reveal underwater mountains
that no one's ever climbed.

904
00:50:17,416 --> 00:50:19,875
And the world will basically triple
its tourist attractions.

905
00:50:19,958 --> 00:50:21,625
They'll have to rewrite
the geography books.

906
00:50:21,708 --> 00:50:26,166
Think about it. You could go
on a road trip to see the Titanic.

907
00:50:26,250 --> 00:50:27,333
Whoa.

908
00:50:28,750 --> 00:50:30,125
Wouldn't that be epic?

909
00:50:31,208 --> 00:50:33,541
I mean, in an electric car, of course.
I'm not a monster.

910
00:50:35,541 --> 00:50:37,666
So, the conference fizzles out,

911
00:50:37,750 --> 00:50:42,958
and humanity is once again left to burn,
drown, or virus to death.

912
00:50:43,041 --> 00:50:46,791
COVID is showing signs of a revival,

913
00:50:46,875 --> 00:50:50,791
aided by the vaccine's potency
fading significantly after six months.

914
00:50:50,875 --> 00:50:54,375
Like true love,
booster shots are required.

915
00:50:54,458 --> 00:50:56,750
[Nerrick] Biden had a booster shot on TV.

916
00:50:56,833 --> 00:50:58,666
I didn't know you could inject ghosts

917
00:50:58,750 --> 00:51:01,541
without the vaccine solution
dripping straight through onto the floor,

918
00:51:01,625 --> 00:51:05,666
but then,
I didn't know that ghosts had veins, so…

919
00:51:05,750 --> 00:51:07,750
[protestors shouting]

920
00:51:07,833 --> 00:51:11,916
Today's Nazis want to eliminate

921
00:51:12,000 --> 00:51:15,708
90% of the global population.

922
00:51:15,791 --> 00:51:19,916
The bizarre beliefs
of hard-core anti-vaxxers means

923
00:51:20,000 --> 00:51:24,125
a significant number still insist
on their right not to get the shot.

924
00:51:24,208 --> 00:51:28,750
Unfortunately, COVID still insists
on its right to infect and kill them.

925
00:51:28,833 --> 00:51:32,333
This is a pandemic of the unvaccinated.

926
00:51:32,416 --> 00:51:36,583
That's why I'm moving forward with
vaccination requirements wherever I can.

927
00:51:36,666 --> 00:51:40,541
A dutiful media reveals
the latest pandemic policy.

928
00:51:40,625 --> 00:51:42,666
[reporter] With the deadline
just hours away

929
00:51:42,750 --> 00:51:45,416
for all New York State health care workers
to get vaccinated,

930
00:51:45,500 --> 00:51:47,583
officials are taking drastic action.

931
00:51:47,666 --> 00:51:50,625
[narrator] To bend the arm of anti-vaxxers
and jab a needle in it,

932
00:51:50,708 --> 00:51:54,000
governments plan
mandatory vaccination programs.

933
00:51:54,083 --> 00:51:58,583
Stark reports reveal
US government employees must get a shot,

934
00:51:58,666 --> 00:52:00,458
or get shot of their jobs.

935
00:52:00,541 --> 00:52:04,458
I'm going to be terminated.
It's going to be my last day.

936
00:52:04,541 --> 00:52:09,958
News channels are filled with experts
calling for a widespread return to masks.

937
00:52:10,041 --> 00:52:13,500
When you're in an area
which is almost the entire country

938
00:52:13,583 --> 00:52:17,708
in which there's a high degree
of viral dynamics, you should wear a mask.

939
00:52:17,791 --> 00:52:20,541
-Take that mask off.
-No more masks!

940
00:52:20,625 --> 00:52:23,416
Which non-experts refused
to take on the chin

941
00:52:23,500 --> 00:52:26,041
in predictably angry scenes.

942
00:52:26,125 --> 00:52:27,541
[protestors chanting]

943
00:52:27,625 --> 00:52:31,041
Some broadcasters
are provocatively anti-mask.

944
00:52:31,125 --> 00:52:33,333
Next time you see someone in a mask
on the sidewalk

945
00:52:33,416 --> 00:52:35,250
or on the bike path, do not hesitate.

946
00:52:35,333 --> 00:52:38,750
Ask politely, but firmly,
"Would you please take off your mask?

947
00:52:38,833 --> 00:52:41,625
Science shows there is no reason
for you to be wearing it.

948
00:52:41,708 --> 00:52:44,333
Your mask is making me uncomfortable."

949
00:52:44,416 --> 00:52:48,708
Masks are death traps,
especially for children.

950
00:52:48,791 --> 00:52:50,375
Kids cannot breathe through masks.

951
00:52:50,458 --> 00:52:52,708
That's why so many children
die on Halloween.

952
00:52:53,500 --> 00:52:57,666
That, and ritual satanic sacrifice.

953
00:52:58,416 --> 00:53:00,083
[director] Have you ever tried
to pull someone's mask off?

954
00:53:00,166 --> 00:53:02,625
Okay, so, actually,
I'm gonna stop you right there.

955
00:53:02,708 --> 00:53:06,125
I am mask-septic, actually,
so I have a right to prevent my eyes

956
00:53:06,208 --> 00:53:08,875
from seeing images of masks
that offend my faith.

957
00:53:08,958 --> 00:53:10,625
Your mask makes me uncomfortable.

958
00:53:10,708 --> 00:53:12,250
Eat air, sheeple!

959
00:53:13,125 --> 00:53:14,291
For your face.

960
00:53:15,125 --> 00:53:16,458
Wrong!

961
00:53:16,541 --> 00:53:20,916
It's easy for you to sit there
in your mask, looking smug about it.

962
00:53:21,916 --> 00:53:24,250
At least I assume you're looking smug.

963
00:53:24,333 --> 00:53:29,375
As Christmas approaches,
urgent news of the gift no one wanted.

964
00:53:30,166 --> 00:53:34,416
[reporter] This morning, another worrying
new COVID variant surging abroad.

965
00:53:34,500 --> 00:53:37,750
[narrator] A highly contagious
new variant, Omicron.

966
00:53:37,833 --> 00:53:42,125
The new Omicron variant is the most
heavily-mutated coronavirus so far.

967
00:53:42,208 --> 00:53:44,500
It has 30 mutations to its spike protein,

968
00:53:44,583 --> 00:53:47,625
which means that current vaccines
may not be as effective

969
00:53:47,708 --> 00:53:50,291
and you could see
an aggressive upward trend

970
00:53:50,375 --> 00:53:53,791
in cases, hospitalizations and deaths.

971
00:53:55,333 --> 00:53:57,041
Why have you not put any music on this?

972
00:53:57,125 --> 00:53:59,000
-[director] Well, you said that--
-No!

973
00:53:59,083 --> 00:54:02,541
You should put some music on that bit.
Something upbeat.

974
00:54:03,333 --> 00:54:05,250
Otherwise it will be very depressing.

975
00:54:05,333 --> 00:54:07,041
Despite this new danger,

976
00:54:07,125 --> 00:54:10,208
some broadcasters
still spout dangerous rhetoric.

977
00:54:10,291 --> 00:54:12,000
[chanting] Fuck the vax! Fuck the vax!

978
00:54:12,083 --> 00:54:14,000
I want to thank you for watching tonight,

979
00:54:14,083 --> 00:54:15,916
and I want to leave you
with this question.

980
00:54:16,000 --> 00:54:20,708
If masks protect us, and evolution is real
as the liberals insist it is,

981
00:54:20,791 --> 00:54:25,583
then why haven't we evolved skin masks?
Huh?

982
00:54:25,666 --> 00:54:27,208
Just asking questions.

983
00:54:28,375 --> 00:54:30,291
Think about it. Think about it.

984
00:54:31,458 --> 00:54:34,916
[director] Madison, can we talk about
your attitude towards COVID and vaccines?

985
00:54:35,000 --> 00:54:38,375
That's what you want to talk about?
That's so boring.

986
00:54:38,458 --> 00:54:41,625
Aren't you going to ask me
about my close friend Kyle Rittenhouse?

987
00:54:41,708 --> 00:54:46,333
No, because you liberals lost that one,
didn't you? Oh, boo-hoo. Poor you.

988
00:54:46,416 --> 00:54:49,958
He's a real star.
He should make a record. I'd buy it.

989
00:54:50,041 --> 00:54:52,333
As long as it wasn't rap
or something like that.

990
00:54:52,416 --> 00:54:54,708
Are you going to ask me about Putin?

991
00:54:54,791 --> 00:54:58,458
He used a missile to blow up
one of his own satellites,

992
00:54:58,541 --> 00:54:59,958
and that's a show of strength.

993
00:55:00,041 --> 00:55:03,583
That's like punching yourself in the face
to show how strong you are.

994
00:55:03,666 --> 00:55:07,041
And that's Putin for you.
He's a strong man, madman.

995
00:55:07,125 --> 00:55:09,125
I love him. I would.

996
00:55:09,208 --> 00:55:12,583
Don't you want to talk about
Ghislaine Maxwell and Prince Andrew? Huh?

997
00:55:12,666 --> 00:55:15,333
Actually, I can't talk about that,
in case I'm called as a witness.

998
00:55:15,416 --> 00:55:16,750
[director]I just want to know,

999
00:55:16,833 --> 00:55:19,416
why do you tell your viewers
not to get vaccinated or wear masks?

1000
00:55:19,500 --> 00:55:21,500
Well, I never say that.

1001
00:55:21,583 --> 00:55:24,916
-I'm just asking questions.
-It seems quite a bad business model.

1002
00:55:25,000 --> 00:55:27,583
Killing off your audience
by giving them incorrect health advice.

1003
00:55:27,666 --> 00:55:30,958
I would say
it's a refreshing radical stance

1004
00:55:31,041 --> 00:55:33,000
that continuously brings in new viewers

1005
00:55:33,083 --> 00:55:35,208
so the audience figures
remain about level.

1006
00:55:35,291 --> 00:55:36,708
It's a careful balance.

1007
00:55:37,458 --> 00:55:39,458
Have you been vaccinated, Madison?

1008
00:55:42,625 --> 00:55:45,000
I told you,
I wasn't gonna talk about that.

1009
00:55:45,083 --> 00:55:47,500
-What did I tell you?
-Madison, have you been vaccinated?

1010
00:55:47,583 --> 00:55:49,583
-That's all I want to know.
-What did I tell you?

1011
00:55:49,666 --> 00:55:52,208
In line with your network's
corporate policy…

1012
00:55:52,291 --> 00:55:54,291
-Pardon me, asshole.
-I'm just asking questions.

1013
00:55:54,375 --> 00:55:55,416
Pardon me, asshole.

1014
00:55:55,500 --> 00:55:57,375
I think that's the end of the interview.

1015
00:55:57,458 --> 00:55:59,458
-Goodbye. Thank you very much.
-I'm just asking questions.

1016
00:55:59,541 --> 00:56:02,166
You told me, I told you
to not ask me that question.

1017
00:56:02,250 --> 00:56:05,166
You've taken me two hours.
You waste my time. I got to go.

1018
00:56:05,250 --> 00:56:08,958
Get out of my studio.
Just get the fuck out!

1019
00:56:09,041 --> 00:56:11,250
Hey, you want to get
a little shot of this?

1020
00:56:11,333 --> 00:56:14,833
Get this for your social media.
You kiss it, baby.

1021
00:56:14,916 --> 00:56:16,416
Here are the two Americas again,

1022
00:56:16,500 --> 00:56:20,208
each side believing the other side
is trying to kill it or enslave it,

1023
00:56:20,291 --> 00:56:22,541
whether it's masks, or vaccines, or votes.

1024
00:56:22,625 --> 00:56:24,291
[clamoring]

1025
00:56:24,375 --> 00:56:28,541
They constantly yell at each other,
amplified through social media and TV.

1026
00:56:29,416 --> 00:56:31,416
[protesting]

1027
00:56:33,083 --> 00:56:36,666
But I wonder, if these two sides
actually sat down with each other

1028
00:56:36,750 --> 00:56:41,208
as human beings in real life
and took time to listen to each other,

1029
00:56:41,291 --> 00:56:43,541
then maybe, just maybe,

1030
00:56:43,625 --> 00:56:46,625
that could spark
a fucking furious fistfight.

1031
00:56:46,708 --> 00:56:48,833
Bam, bam, bam.
Wouldn't that be a spectacle?

1032
00:56:48,916 --> 00:56:51,125
[protesting]

1033
00:56:51,208 --> 00:56:55,750
We end the year as we began it,
polarized and divided,

1034
00:56:55,833 --> 00:56:59,416
progressives versus conservatives,
vaxxed versus unvaxxed.

1035
00:56:59,500 --> 00:57:00,625
[chanting] Christ is king!

1036
00:57:00,708 --> 00:57:05,583
Science versus whatever the fucking
mental opposite of fucking science is.

1037
00:57:05,666 --> 00:57:09,041
Some would say
that we're in the storm of a culture war,

1038
00:57:09,125 --> 00:57:10,375
others violently disagree.

1039
00:57:12,000 --> 00:57:13,625
But there is some hope.

1040
00:57:13,708 --> 00:57:17,166
While they may not have made
everything normal again,

1041
00:57:17,250 --> 00:57:22,041
vaccines have given us
the normalest of the new normals so far.

1042
00:57:22,625 --> 00:57:26,791
A chance to live, learn,
and even love again.

1043
00:57:26,875 --> 00:57:29,083
[director]
How did your Internet dating go, Gemma?

1044
00:57:29,166 --> 00:57:32,416
Oh, Jeff? Well, we got on well on Zoom.

1045
00:57:32,500 --> 00:57:36,000
And so we met for a date in a park.
Exciting.

1046
00:57:36,083 --> 00:57:39,583
I was halfway through telling him
about my collection of pottery pigs

1047
00:57:39,666 --> 00:57:43,666
when he got a text saying that he'd tested
incredibly positive for COVID

1048
00:57:43,750 --> 00:57:46,625
and had to go into isolation
straight away.

1049
00:57:46,708 --> 00:57:49,125
Since then,
I haven't heard anything from him.

1050
00:57:49,708 --> 00:57:52,250
No texts, no emails, nothing.

1051
00:57:52,333 --> 00:57:57,166
So, I can only assume he's either dead
or in hospital on a ventilator.

1052
00:57:57,250 --> 00:58:01,291
I just want to
take this opportunity to say,

1053
00:58:01,375 --> 00:58:05,125
Jeff, if you're watching this
with a tube down your throat,

1054
00:58:05,208 --> 00:58:09,000
please just send me a text
to let me know that you're still alive.

1055
00:58:09,083 --> 00:58:10,125
-[phone chimes]
-Oh!

1056
00:58:12,791 --> 00:58:14,958
Oh. Oh.

1057
00:58:15,041 --> 00:58:17,250
My operating system
is gonna update tonight.

1058
00:58:20,416 --> 00:58:22,708
Something to look forward to.

1059
00:58:24,791 --> 00:58:27,750
[director]
What did you learn in 2021, Kathy?

1060
00:58:27,833 --> 00:58:30,291
The main thing I learned, um,

1061
00:58:30,375 --> 00:58:34,458
never bomb a mask factory
while wearing an ankle tag. [laughs]

1062
00:58:35,041 --> 00:58:36,750
That's how they found me so quickly.

1063
00:58:36,833 --> 00:58:38,375
[director] Okay. Time is up.

1064
00:58:38,458 --> 00:58:41,833
Oh, well, okay. There you go.
Let's get on with it.

1065
00:58:41,916 --> 00:58:44,375
I hope you're filming this.
This is the deep state in action.

1066
00:58:44,458 --> 00:58:45,541
And they say it's not real.

1067
00:58:45,625 --> 00:58:47,125
-Your masks are offending me.
-[handcuffs clicking]

1068
00:58:47,208 --> 00:58:48,833
Ow! You're hurting my arm.

1069
00:58:48,916 --> 00:58:51,291
[gasping] I can't breathe.
This is oppression.

1070
00:58:51,375 --> 00:58:53,583
[director]
And what did you learn in 2021, Zero?

1071
00:58:53,666 --> 00:58:56,750
Well, I learned Mark Zuckerberg is unaware

1072
00:58:56,833 --> 00:59:00,458
that I actually already built
the metaverse five years ago.

1073
00:59:00,541 --> 00:59:02,208
We've all been in it since 2016.

1074
00:59:03,708 --> 00:59:06,416
[director] What have you learned in 2021?

1075
00:59:06,500 --> 00:59:10,000
I learned that when I say the phrase,
"I was in the room when…"

1076
00:59:10,583 --> 00:59:12,375
People tend to leave the room.

1077
00:59:12,458 --> 00:59:14,708
What did I learn in 2021?

1078
00:59:14,791 --> 00:59:17,333
I learned that nobody learned anything
in 2020.

1079
00:59:17,416 --> 00:59:23,916
I have learned that it is always wise
to keep your OBE to hand.

1080
00:59:25,583 --> 00:59:27,291
O-B-E.

1081
00:59:28,416 --> 00:59:31,125
One bottle enclosed. [chuckles]

1082
00:59:31,208 --> 00:59:35,333
It's naughty, isn't it?
It is quite fun. I think it's fun.

1083
00:59:35,416 --> 00:59:37,958
[director]
What did you learn in 2021, Gemma?

1084
00:59:38,041 --> 00:59:42,041
I had to learn where my tonsils are,
so I could do a COVID test.

1085
00:59:42,125 --> 00:59:45,666
They're in a bottle in the cupboard,
so that makes doing one a bit easier.

1086
00:59:45,750 --> 00:59:47,041
We done?

1087
00:59:48,250 --> 00:59:49,958
All right. What's up, guys?

1088
00:59:50,041 --> 00:59:52,500
Just wrapped up with Netflix.
Can't wait for you to see it.

1089
00:59:52,583 --> 00:59:55,041
Can't say too much.
Kind of a hush-hush sort of deal.

1090
00:59:55,125 --> 00:59:57,791
Can anyone guess what it is?
Leave a comment, like, subscribe.

1091
00:59:57,875 --> 00:59:59,750
#FoolingWithTheGoolies.

1092
00:59:59,833 --> 01:00:03,125
Well, if that's it,
I better get back to work, if that's okay.

1093
01:00:03,791 --> 01:00:05,708
[director] What is it you're working on?

1094
01:00:05,791 --> 01:00:09,541
It's a concerning new variant
that I just discovered…

1095
01:00:09,625 --> 01:00:10,666
Oh, no!

1096
01:00:11,416 --> 01:00:12,791
Shit! Run away!