1 00:00:02,000 --> 00:00:07,000 Downloaded from YTS.MX 2 00:00:08,000 --> 00:00:13,000 Official YIFY movies site: YTS.MX 3 00:00:08,174 --> 00:00:11,302 (lively music begins) 4 00:02:06,209 --> 00:02:10,380 - My name is Maddy and I have three moms and no dad. 5 00:02:10,380 --> 00:02:11,631 That sounds pretty wild, 6 00:02:11,631 --> 00:02:13,424 and I totally wanna explain everything, 7 00:02:13,424 --> 00:02:16,719 but first we should meet Lynette Price. 8 00:02:16,719 --> 00:02:18,221 Not too many years ago, 9 00:02:18,221 --> 00:02:20,807 Lynette was a grad student and lived in the academic wilds 10 00:02:20,807 --> 00:02:22,725 of Southern California. 11 00:02:22,725 --> 00:02:24,727 School didn't allow Lynette too many breaks 12 00:02:24,727 --> 00:02:26,104 but one thing she looked forward to 13 00:02:26,104 --> 00:02:28,231 was the monthly dinner party she took turns hosting 14 00:02:28,231 --> 00:02:31,234 with her best friends, Jessica and Candy. 15 00:02:31,234 --> 00:02:32,735 (knocking) 16 00:02:32,735 --> 00:02:34,154 - Just a second. 17 00:02:34,154 --> 00:02:37,240 (knocking continues) 18 00:02:42,579 --> 00:02:43,580 - I was robbed. 19 00:02:44,747 --> 00:02:46,332 - My God, I'm calling the police. 20 00:02:46,332 --> 00:02:48,126 - [Candy] Hello-hello. 21 00:02:48,126 --> 00:02:49,335 - [Lynette] We've got an emergency. 22 00:02:49,335 --> 00:02:50,295 - What happened? 23 00:02:50,295 --> 00:02:51,588 - Jess got robbed last night. 24 00:02:51,588 --> 00:02:53,298 I'm trying to call the police. 25 00:02:53,298 --> 00:02:54,799 - Couldn't you call them last night? 26 00:02:54,799 --> 00:02:57,260 - They wouldn't let me use my cell phone in the ambulance. 27 00:02:57,260 --> 00:02:58,761 - What were you doing in an ambulance? 28 00:02:58,761 --> 00:02:59,846 - They had to take me to the hospital 29 00:02:59,846 --> 00:03:00,805 to get out the shrapnel. 30 00:03:00,805 --> 00:03:02,015 - Shrapnel? 31 00:03:02,015 --> 00:03:04,184 - It's okay, honey, the staples are holding. 32 00:03:04,184 --> 00:03:05,768 - Why did they staple you? 33 00:03:05,768 --> 00:03:07,312 - Well, there's this little girl and she needed a kidney 34 00:03:07,312 --> 00:03:08,605 and we were a match. 35 00:03:08,605 --> 00:03:10,273 - You donated one of your kidneys? 36 00:03:10,273 --> 00:03:11,774 That's so, so- 37 00:03:11,774 --> 00:03:13,318 - Out of character. 38 00:03:13,318 --> 00:03:17,280 - Well everything changed when I saw the angel. 39 00:03:17,280 --> 00:03:19,282 - Oh, a real angel? 40 00:03:19,282 --> 00:03:22,452 - She was wearing this amazing dress, Dior, I think. 41 00:03:22,452 --> 00:03:23,369 - Angel. 42 00:03:23,369 --> 00:03:25,955 - She was super cute. All glowy. 43 00:03:25,955 --> 00:03:28,499 - Jess, what do you need? 44 00:03:30,960 --> 00:03:32,795 - Your apartment. 45 00:03:32,795 --> 00:03:36,174 (slow music begins) 46 00:03:36,174 --> 00:03:38,176 - When did Jessica as a young girl 47 00:03:38,176 --> 00:03:40,803 realize that people were treating her specially 48 00:03:40,803 --> 00:03:43,014 because of the way she looked? 49 00:03:43,014 --> 00:03:45,141 And when did she figure out how to use that 50 00:03:45,141 --> 00:03:46,184 to her advantage? 51 00:03:47,227 --> 00:03:48,478 (sighs) 52 00:03:48,478 --> 00:03:49,979 - Aren't you going to kick me out? 53 00:03:49,979 --> 00:03:52,690 - You must keep your hands to yourself, Jessica. 54 00:03:52,690 --> 00:03:53,816 - Why aren't you going to kick me out? 55 00:03:53,816 --> 00:03:55,026 I pushed over Melanie. 56 00:03:55,026 --> 00:03:57,403 - Yes. And you cannot do that. 57 00:03:57,403 --> 00:03:59,656 - Kick me out, make her play Clara. 58 00:03:59,656 --> 00:04:01,241 She's so much better than me. 59 00:04:01,241 --> 00:04:02,492 - I know, but- 60 00:04:02,492 --> 00:04:04,327 - See, you agree she's better. 61 00:04:04,327 --> 00:04:07,997 - Our donors expect grace and beauty. 62 00:04:07,997 --> 00:04:10,500 You project that better than Melanie. 63 00:04:10,500 --> 00:04:12,669 - How? I'm a total slob. 64 00:04:14,003 --> 00:04:15,838 Have my sister Carolyn do it. 65 00:04:15,838 --> 00:04:18,383 She's beautiful and full of grace. 66 00:04:18,383 --> 00:04:20,009 - We don't have time for this. 67 00:04:20,009 --> 00:04:22,011 You will play the part of Clara. 68 00:04:22,011 --> 00:04:23,680 You will let Melanie coach you, 69 00:04:23,680 --> 00:04:26,391 and you will keep your hands to yourself. 70 00:04:26,391 --> 00:04:27,850 - Or what? 71 00:04:27,850 --> 00:04:30,520 - Or I will let your mother know that you hit another child. 72 00:04:30,520 --> 00:04:32,355 - Did you hear what Melanie said to me? 73 00:04:32,355 --> 00:04:35,024 When you told her to help me she said, "Why bother?" 74 00:04:43,700 --> 00:04:44,909 - Take this. 75 00:04:44,909 --> 00:04:47,370 Go to the bakery and get yourself something. 76 00:04:47,370 --> 00:04:50,123 Cool down. And then come back. 77 00:04:50,123 --> 00:04:51,374 - Is this a bribe? 78 00:04:51,374 --> 00:04:52,709 - It's a deal. 79 00:04:52,709 --> 00:04:56,754 (background soft music continues) 80 00:05:00,216 --> 00:05:01,801 - [Lynette] Why do you need my apartment? 81 00:05:01,801 --> 00:05:03,636 - I have a date, silly. 82 00:05:03,636 --> 00:05:05,263 - You also have your own apartment. 83 00:05:05,263 --> 00:05:06,556 - You have a date? 84 00:05:06,556 --> 00:05:08,558 Oh, so you're okay. 85 00:05:08,558 --> 00:05:09,809 - Oh, careful. My face hurts. 86 00:05:09,809 --> 00:05:10,727 - Oh. 87 00:05:10,727 --> 00:05:12,562 From where the robbers beat you? 88 00:05:12,562 --> 00:05:14,772 - It's been hurting worse every day. 89 00:05:14,772 --> 00:05:18,901 I bought this makeup Iman and I think I'm allergic to it. 90 00:05:18,901 --> 00:05:23,323 - Iman? The model? But you don't want anything like her. 91 00:05:23,323 --> 00:05:24,741 - I'm doing a tanned thing. 92 00:05:26,659 --> 00:05:27,910 Damn Iman! 93 00:05:27,910 --> 00:05:28,786 It's been hurting all week. 94 00:05:28,786 --> 00:05:30,747 - Have you seen a doctor? 95 00:05:30,747 --> 00:05:33,791 - Yeah. He gave me some goop, but I'm not going to touch it. 96 00:05:33,791 --> 00:05:34,751 - Why not? 97 00:05:34,751 --> 00:05:35,960 - Goop dries out your skin. 98 00:05:35,960 --> 00:05:38,171 If I dry my skin, I'll look old. 99 00:05:38,171 --> 00:05:39,422 - But- 100 00:05:39,422 --> 00:05:40,631 - Well, I'm not going to walk around looking old. 101 00:05:40,631 --> 00:05:42,592 - People do it every day. 102 00:05:42,592 --> 00:05:45,636 - Lynnie, this is how you can help me. 103 00:05:45,636 --> 00:05:48,639 Let me use your apartment so this guy thinks I'm smart. 104 00:05:48,639 --> 00:05:50,266 - Jess, you are smart. 105 00:05:50,266 --> 00:05:52,810 - No, I have taste. Big difference. 106 00:05:52,810 --> 00:05:55,188 - Does my apartment look smart? 107 00:05:55,188 --> 00:05:58,775 (soft music continues) 108 00:05:58,775 --> 00:06:01,611 - What moron convinced young Lynette 109 00:06:01,611 --> 00:06:03,446 that being the smartest one in the room 110 00:06:03,446 --> 00:06:05,281 wasn't a good thing? 111 00:06:05,281 --> 00:06:08,284 (soft music begins) 112 00:06:11,621 --> 00:06:12,455 - Hi, Enzo. 113 00:06:14,123 --> 00:06:15,625 - Hey, Lynette. 114 00:06:15,625 --> 00:06:17,668 - Mr. Marsh said that you were looking for someone 115 00:06:17,668 --> 00:06:19,295 to help you with geometry. 116 00:06:19,295 --> 00:06:20,505 I'm a pretty good tutor. 117 00:06:21,631 --> 00:06:23,508 - Look, I know you're smart 118 00:06:23,508 --> 00:06:25,301 but that doesn't mean I want to hang out with you. 119 00:06:25,301 --> 00:06:26,677 - But- - No. 120 00:06:26,677 --> 00:06:28,304 Are you going to buy anything? 121 00:06:28,304 --> 00:06:30,473 Because I gotta get back to work. 122 00:06:30,473 --> 00:06:31,849 - Enzo, clean toilet. 123 00:06:34,811 --> 00:06:36,145 Good afternoon. 124 00:06:36,145 --> 00:06:37,647 Special today is spinach and (mumbles) croissant. 125 00:06:37,647 --> 00:06:40,650 - I guess I'll have a piece of Devil's Food cake. 126 00:06:44,570 --> 00:06:45,988 - You have smart things. 127 00:06:45,988 --> 00:06:48,157 Your smart pictures, 128 00:06:48,157 --> 00:06:49,909 smart furniture. 129 00:06:49,909 --> 00:06:51,994 Look at this flute thing. 130 00:06:51,994 --> 00:06:54,247 No normal person can play a thing like this. 131 00:06:54,247 --> 00:06:56,165 - It was an heirloom. 132 00:06:56,165 --> 00:06:57,375 - Say that again. 133 00:06:57,375 --> 00:06:58,334 - Heirloom. 134 00:06:59,335 --> 00:07:00,670 - Heirloom. 135 00:07:00,670 --> 00:07:01,712 Heirloom. 136 00:07:01,712 --> 00:07:03,256 Oh, look, honey. 137 00:07:03,256 --> 00:07:05,174 This precious little flute thing here is a heirloom. 138 00:07:05,174 --> 00:07:06,342 - [Lynette] An heirloom. 139 00:07:06,342 --> 00:07:08,010 - Oh, of course I don't know how to play it. 140 00:07:08,010 --> 00:07:10,555 That's a lost art form from the underclass. 141 00:07:10,555 --> 00:07:14,225 - Actually you can learn how down at the Y. 142 00:07:14,225 --> 00:07:15,852 - What's a "Y"? 143 00:07:15,852 --> 00:07:19,856 - The YMCA. Where I teach knitting and take scrapbooking. 144 00:07:21,732 --> 00:07:22,859 - Is this a first date? 145 00:07:22,859 --> 00:07:24,193 - No. Third. 146 00:07:24,193 --> 00:07:25,695 - Third date with the same guy? 147 00:07:25,695 --> 00:07:28,030 Congratulations! 148 00:07:28,030 --> 00:07:29,449 - Ow. 149 00:07:29,449 --> 00:07:31,576 - No, it's just that getting to a third date 150 00:07:31,576 --> 00:07:32,910 seems hard for you. 151 00:07:32,910 --> 00:07:34,370 - Ow. 152 00:07:34,370 --> 00:07:36,372 - No, it's not that men don't want to go out with you. 153 00:07:36,372 --> 00:07:37,206 It's just- 154 00:07:37,206 --> 00:07:38,207 - You get bored. 155 00:07:38,207 --> 00:07:39,125 (chuckles) 156 00:07:39,125 --> 00:07:40,543 - Like men never bore you two. 157 00:07:40,543 --> 00:07:42,044 - I never meet any. 158 00:07:42,044 --> 00:07:44,547 At her job, Candy must have to beat them off with a stick. 159 00:07:44,547 --> 00:07:47,758 (slow music continues) 160 00:07:49,719 --> 00:07:51,220 - Young candy seemed to know right 161 00:07:51,220 --> 00:07:53,139 from the start that her sunny smile could light up 162 00:07:53,139 --> 00:07:54,265 even the darkest day. 163 00:07:56,392 --> 00:07:57,435 - Hi. 164 00:07:57,435 --> 00:07:58,769 - I'm Candy's mother. 165 00:07:59,896 --> 00:08:02,231 There's been a loss in the family. 166 00:08:02,231 --> 00:08:03,065 - I know. 167 00:08:03,065 --> 00:08:04,901 I was told. I'm sorry. 168 00:08:06,068 --> 00:08:06,903 Candy. 169 00:08:09,739 --> 00:08:11,491 Did you grab your reader, Sunshine? 170 00:08:12,742 --> 00:08:14,327 - You call her Sunshine? 171 00:08:14,327 --> 00:08:17,079 - Oh, we all do. It's her smile. 172 00:08:17,079 --> 00:08:18,581 Oh, I could put a stop to it if you- 173 00:08:18,581 --> 00:08:19,499 - No. Please don't. 174 00:08:20,583 --> 00:08:21,417 It's beautiful. 175 00:08:22,418 --> 00:08:23,419 - Bye, Ms. Jenkins. 176 00:08:23,419 --> 00:08:24,253 - Bye. 177 00:08:37,934 --> 00:08:39,769 - Mommy, why are you so sad? 178 00:08:41,270 --> 00:08:42,647 - I miss my mommy. 179 00:08:44,190 --> 00:08:48,945 - When you're sad, something sweet can make you feel better. 180 00:08:48,945 --> 00:08:50,947 That's what Ms. Jenkins says. 181 00:08:50,947 --> 00:08:53,658 - Maybe we'll stop on the way and get your favorite. 182 00:08:54,659 --> 00:08:55,785 - Hugs can help too. 183 00:08:58,204 --> 00:08:59,956 - They help so much, Sunshine. 184 00:09:02,124 --> 00:09:03,793 - Our first two dates were out on the town 185 00:09:03,793 --> 00:09:06,128 so now I'm going to show him my domestic side. 186 00:09:06,128 --> 00:09:08,172 - You don't have a domestic side. 187 00:09:08,172 --> 00:09:09,173 - Well, exactly. 188 00:09:09,173 --> 00:09:10,716 So I'm going to use yours. 189 00:09:10,716 --> 00:09:13,302 - Ooh, is this with that guy who works on the 21st floor? 190 00:09:13,302 --> 00:09:14,804 - No, I'm so over him. 191 00:09:14,804 --> 00:09:15,972 - 18th floor? 192 00:09:15,972 --> 00:09:18,307 - He kisses like Scooby-Doo. 193 00:09:18,307 --> 00:09:20,226 - The hunk from the mail room? 194 00:09:21,227 --> 00:09:22,478 (chuckles) 195 00:09:22,478 --> 00:09:24,897 - Like I would ever do the mail room. 196 00:09:24,897 --> 00:09:26,148 - But- 197 00:09:26,148 --> 00:09:27,149 - Hey, we agreed that never happened. 198 00:09:28,651 --> 00:09:30,528 - Is this that guy we met at that party last weekend? 199 00:09:30,528 --> 00:09:31,654 - Which? 200 00:09:31,654 --> 00:09:32,488 - The tall one. 201 00:09:32,488 --> 00:09:33,489 Dark hair? 202 00:09:33,489 --> 00:09:34,574 - No, no no. Which party? 203 00:09:34,574 --> 00:09:36,075 - You and I met a photographer. 204 00:09:36,075 --> 00:09:37,326 - Oh yeah! 205 00:09:37,326 --> 00:09:39,704 He stared at me with bridal lust. 206 00:09:39,704 --> 00:09:40,913 I almost slapped him. 207 00:09:40,913 --> 00:09:42,331 - I talked to him a little. 208 00:09:42,331 --> 00:09:44,709 - Little? More like 45 minutes. 209 00:09:44,709 --> 00:09:47,503 But yeah, he and I went out for drinks later that night. 210 00:09:48,713 --> 00:09:49,505 - Oh. 211 00:09:50,756 --> 00:09:52,425 He seemed nice. 212 00:09:52,425 --> 00:09:56,178 - He is going to take one look around this apartment 213 00:09:56,178 --> 00:09:59,432 and think that I don't need him, which is perfect. 214 00:09:59,432 --> 00:10:02,226 - My apartment says I don't need men? 215 00:10:02,226 --> 00:10:04,270 - Everything about you says you don't need men. 216 00:10:04,270 --> 00:10:06,188 - She's working on her PhD. 217 00:10:06,188 --> 00:10:07,106 - Exactly. 218 00:10:07,106 --> 00:10:09,191 - Educated women don't need men? 219 00:10:09,191 --> 00:10:11,193 - Maybe for experiments or something. 220 00:10:11,193 --> 00:10:14,905 But, look, you talk so much about 221 00:10:16,032 --> 00:10:18,200 whatever it is that you study 222 00:10:18,200 --> 00:10:20,536 that I could write a desecration of my own. 223 00:10:20,536 --> 00:10:21,579 - Well, don't worry. 224 00:10:21,579 --> 00:10:23,789 I'm through talking about it. 225 00:10:23,789 --> 00:10:25,374 - See, she's sick of it too. 226 00:10:25,374 --> 00:10:27,376 - You've finished your dissertation? 227 00:10:27,376 --> 00:10:29,378 Oh, congratulations. 228 00:10:29,378 --> 00:10:31,130 - Are we celebrating? 229 00:10:31,130 --> 00:10:32,632 Should I get a stripper? 230 00:10:32,632 --> 00:10:34,050 I know a really good one with a pizza boy routine. 231 00:10:34,050 --> 00:10:35,926 - Let's celebrate with what I got from work. 232 00:10:35,926 --> 00:10:39,138 There's salads and for dressing we have honey-mustard, 233 00:10:39,138 --> 00:10:41,474 light Italian and strawberry pistachio 234 00:10:41,474 --> 00:10:43,225 - Strawberry pistachio? 235 00:10:43,225 --> 00:10:44,560 Is that a new recipe? 236 00:10:44,560 --> 00:10:46,562 - New accident, but it's not that bad. 237 00:10:47,938 --> 00:10:49,732 - Dude, your disaster dressing can be poisonous. 238 00:10:51,734 --> 00:10:54,236 Like the strawberries and the nuts 239 00:10:54,236 --> 00:10:57,114 could have some crazy chemical reaction 240 00:10:57,114 --> 00:10:58,741 like when you mixed drink cleaners. 241 00:10:58,741 --> 00:11:00,910 - When did you ever touch drain cleaner? 242 00:11:02,078 --> 00:11:03,913 - I saw it on "News of the Weird". 243 00:11:03,913 --> 00:11:05,581 Some lady died. 244 00:11:05,581 --> 00:11:08,084 - Oh, shut up and taste it, Jess. 245 00:11:14,465 --> 00:11:15,341 - Damn it! 246 00:11:15,341 --> 00:11:16,300 - You hate it? 247 00:11:16,300 --> 00:11:18,094 - Well, it's delicious. 248 00:11:18,094 --> 00:11:19,428 - Then what? 249 00:11:19,428 --> 00:11:21,472 - Why does Candy have to be so creative? 250 00:11:21,472 --> 00:11:23,432 I mean, it's bad enough that she looks 251 00:11:24,684 --> 00:11:26,435 how she looks. 252 00:11:26,435 --> 00:11:29,271 - Why don't you borrow Candy's place for your date? 253 00:11:29,271 --> 00:11:30,189 - Uh. 254 00:11:30,189 --> 00:11:31,774 - Guys love creative women. 255 00:11:31,774 --> 00:11:35,319 And in her bedroom Candy has scratch-and-sniff wallpaper. 256 00:11:35,319 --> 00:11:36,779 - Oh I wore that out. 257 00:11:36,779 --> 00:11:39,824 - And books from all over the world. 258 00:11:39,824 --> 00:11:42,118 I never knew there was more than one version of Cinderella. 259 00:11:42,118 --> 00:11:43,285 - Yeah, the Brothers Grimm's version 260 00:11:43,285 --> 00:11:44,787 is called "Aschenputtel". 261 00:11:44,787 --> 00:11:46,330 - Amazing. 262 00:11:46,330 --> 00:11:48,290 Jess, this guy would fall in love with you 263 00:11:48,290 --> 00:11:50,042 if you were Candy. 264 00:11:50,042 --> 00:11:52,128 - "Ashpuddle". It sounds dirty. 265 00:11:53,796 --> 00:11:54,547 Ow. 266 00:11:54,547 --> 00:11:55,339 Face. Ow. 267 00:11:57,717 --> 00:11:59,176 - Hey, why don't we take our monthly picture 268 00:11:59,176 --> 00:12:01,679 so you can take off Iman's makeup. 269 00:12:01,679 --> 00:12:03,389 - No, no, I can wait. 270 00:12:03,389 --> 00:12:05,474 You guys finish your little salads 271 00:12:05,474 --> 00:12:07,143 with your scary dressing. 272 00:12:07,143 --> 00:12:10,312 (gentle music begins) 273 00:12:14,650 --> 00:12:17,319 Oh. It feels kind of like sunburn your face. 274 00:12:17,319 --> 00:12:18,821 - Your face? 275 00:12:18,821 --> 00:12:20,239 - Yeah. 276 00:12:20,239 --> 00:12:21,574 Like warm and prickly. 277 00:12:23,159 --> 00:12:24,326 But if I just stare at the wall 278 00:12:24,326 --> 00:12:26,495 and don't move, it's fine. 279 00:12:29,498 --> 00:12:30,833 But then my neck gets tired. 280 00:12:32,752 --> 00:12:34,587 - I'm so sorry you're not feeling good, Jess. 281 00:12:34,587 --> 00:12:38,507 - Lynnie, do you have any acids so I can burn my skin off? 282 00:12:38,507 --> 00:12:40,342 - Go get some ice out of the freezer. 283 00:12:41,510 --> 00:12:42,344 - Okay. 284 00:12:51,187 --> 00:12:53,105 Lynnie, I don't think your ice is cold enough. 285 00:12:53,105 --> 00:12:54,190 - Blow on it. 286 00:12:54,190 --> 00:12:55,024 That cools it off. 287 00:12:58,861 --> 00:13:01,280 - Ow! My face hurts when I blow. 288 00:13:03,365 --> 00:13:04,700 - I'm not gonna touch that. 289 00:13:06,202 --> 00:13:08,412 - Why don't you wanna stick your whole head in? 290 00:13:13,375 --> 00:13:14,210 - Ow. 291 00:13:14,210 --> 00:13:15,544 Oh my God I'm stuck. 292 00:13:15,544 --> 00:13:17,213 I'm stuck, you guys. 293 00:13:18,714 --> 00:13:19,632 I'm stuck, guys! 294 00:13:19,632 --> 00:13:20,466 I'm stuck. 295 00:13:24,470 --> 00:13:25,304 - Hold still. 296 00:13:25,304 --> 00:13:26,889 - [Jessica] Owie, ow! 297 00:13:26,889 --> 00:13:29,558 (water gushing) 298 00:13:30,434 --> 00:13:31,727 - Lynnie, what happens next? 299 00:13:31,727 --> 00:13:33,562 - I have to defend my dissertation. 300 00:13:33,562 --> 00:13:35,064 - Defend it? 301 00:13:35,064 --> 00:13:37,316 - This panel of professors rakes me over the coals. 302 00:13:37,316 --> 00:13:39,652 - Speaking of burning coals, my face is burning. 303 00:13:39,652 --> 00:13:41,737 - The process helps me scrape away the b.s. 304 00:13:41,737 --> 00:13:44,114 - I wish I could scrape this freezer off my face. 305 00:13:45,282 --> 00:13:46,075 Ow. 306 00:13:48,577 --> 00:13:49,995 - I'm counting on them approving it. 307 00:13:49,995 --> 00:13:51,956 If not, my face is going to be so- 308 00:13:51,956 --> 00:13:53,249 - Oh, don't say it. 309 00:13:53,249 --> 00:13:55,501 - If anyone's face is red, it's mine. 310 00:13:55,501 --> 00:13:56,418 It burns. 311 00:13:56,418 --> 00:13:58,420 And it's like the sun. 312 00:13:58,420 --> 00:13:59,672 - Let's take our picture. 313 00:14:03,759 --> 00:14:06,762 (slow music begins) 314 00:14:08,973 --> 00:14:10,266 - How long is the timer? 315 00:14:10,266 --> 00:14:11,767 - About two seconds. 316 00:14:15,521 --> 00:14:16,814 (camera beeping) 317 00:14:16,814 --> 00:14:17,940 (camera shutters) 318 00:14:17,940 --> 00:14:19,149 Ow. 319 00:14:19,149 --> 00:14:20,150 - Try again. 320 00:14:23,779 --> 00:14:25,447 (camera beeping) 321 00:14:25,447 --> 00:14:26,448 (camera shutters) 322 00:14:26,448 --> 00:14:28,284 - Oh, nice picture of my butt. 323 00:14:33,038 --> 00:14:33,873 (camera beeping) 324 00:14:33,873 --> 00:14:35,165 (camera shutters) 325 00:14:35,165 --> 00:14:36,125 - I need ice. 326 00:14:36,125 --> 00:14:36,959 - Hold on, hun. 327 00:14:38,836 --> 00:14:41,630 (camera beeping) 328 00:14:47,845 --> 00:14:50,514 (camera whines) 329 00:14:52,349 --> 00:14:54,810 Oh, the camera died. 330 00:14:54,810 --> 00:14:55,644 - [Both] Aw. 331 00:14:55,644 --> 00:14:56,478 - I'm sorry. 332 00:14:57,897 --> 00:15:00,482 Now, Jess, you and Iman's curse can part company. 333 00:15:00,482 --> 00:15:01,984 - Thank you. 334 00:15:01,984 --> 00:15:03,986 (sighs) 335 00:15:05,362 --> 00:15:07,990 - [Candy] Lynnie, are you in therapy? 336 00:15:07,990 --> 00:15:09,325 - A therapist does have to go through 337 00:15:09,325 --> 00:15:11,076 a certain amount of therapy to get a degree, 338 00:15:11,076 --> 00:15:14,079 but I am resisting. 339 00:15:16,498 --> 00:15:18,417 - [Candy] So are you in therapy? 340 00:15:18,417 --> 00:15:21,337 - [Lynette] Yes, but that's not helping. 341 00:15:21,337 --> 00:15:23,172 Are you in therapy? 342 00:15:23,172 --> 00:15:24,673 - I was, but she dropped me. 343 00:15:26,675 --> 00:15:29,428 - Candy had actually been in therapy for about six months 344 00:15:29,428 --> 00:15:30,763 at that point. 345 00:15:30,763 --> 00:15:33,349 A string of disappointing relationships 346 00:15:33,349 --> 00:15:34,558 had left her feeling 347 00:15:34,558 --> 00:15:36,518 like she was doing something very wrong. 348 00:15:37,561 --> 00:15:38,395 But was she? 349 00:15:39,563 --> 00:15:42,107 - He hates that I make more money than him. 350 00:15:42,107 --> 00:15:43,901 - Well, why shouldn't you make more? 351 00:15:43,901 --> 00:15:45,861 You have a very demanding job: 352 00:15:45,861 --> 00:15:49,073 heavy trays, rambunctious customers. 353 00:15:49,073 --> 00:15:51,200 - Also he doesn't think I'm funny. 354 00:15:51,200 --> 00:15:52,868 He thinks that I'm a loner, 355 00:15:52,868 --> 00:15:54,203 that my hobbies are weird. 356 00:15:54,203 --> 00:15:56,038 - Uh, which hobbies? 357 00:15:56,038 --> 00:15:57,539 - Well, my cat outreach, 358 00:15:57,539 --> 00:15:58,374 my knitting. 359 00:16:00,250 --> 00:16:01,126 - Well, alright. 360 00:16:02,711 --> 00:16:06,131 It sounds to me like Larry is um- 361 00:16:06,131 --> 00:16:07,257 - Lowry. 362 00:16:07,257 --> 00:16:08,217 - Lowry? 363 00:16:08,217 --> 00:16:09,051 Really? 364 00:16:09,051 --> 00:16:10,552 Lowry? 365 00:16:10,552 --> 00:16:13,889 Well, it sounds to me like Lowry cares about image. 366 00:16:13,889 --> 00:16:15,724 - Well, when we were out to dinner last week, 367 00:16:15,724 --> 00:16:18,310 he seemed to be flirting with other women constantly. 368 00:16:18,310 --> 00:16:19,561 - [Celeste] Mm. 369 00:16:19,561 --> 00:16:20,771 - He said he was just being friendly. 370 00:16:20,771 --> 00:16:23,232 - Uhuh. Made you kinda uncomfortable, right? 371 00:16:23,232 --> 00:16:24,566 - Yes. 372 00:16:24,566 --> 00:16:28,112 He said the time we had sex was a mistake. 373 00:16:29,822 --> 00:16:31,740 - You had sex only once? 374 00:16:31,740 --> 00:16:32,992 Did you enjoy it? 375 00:16:32,992 --> 00:16:35,411 - I was glad he wanted to have sex with me. 376 00:16:35,411 --> 00:16:40,416 - All those things that he said about you are not true. 377 00:16:41,250 --> 00:16:42,418 Okay? 378 00:16:42,418 --> 00:16:43,919 You are funny. 379 00:16:43,919 --> 00:16:45,754 And you're not a loner. 380 00:16:47,423 --> 00:16:49,091 - I once invited Lowry to come with me 381 00:16:49,091 --> 00:16:49,967 to cat socialization. 382 00:16:49,967 --> 00:16:51,844 - Wait, wait, wait. 383 00:16:51,844 --> 00:16:52,803 Cat what? 384 00:16:52,803 --> 00:16:54,304 - A cat socialization. 385 00:16:54,304 --> 00:16:56,682 It's where I go to the shelter to play with the feral kitty 386 00:16:56,682 --> 00:16:58,600 so they get used to humans. 387 00:16:58,600 --> 00:16:59,435 (chuckles) 388 00:16:59,435 --> 00:17:01,186 - Aren't you priceless? 389 00:17:01,186 --> 00:17:02,980 - And you know what he said to me? 390 00:17:02,980 --> 00:17:04,273 He said, "What makes you think 391 00:17:04,273 --> 00:17:06,650 I would ever want to do that?" 392 00:17:06,650 --> 00:17:09,194 - Where does this relationship stand now? 393 00:17:09,194 --> 00:17:12,114 - Well, last night I told him 394 00:17:12,114 --> 00:17:14,283 I don't think he's good for me. 395 00:17:14,283 --> 00:17:16,035 And then I took back the wall tapestry 396 00:17:16,035 --> 00:17:19,204 that I knitted for him. That mean? 397 00:17:19,204 --> 00:17:20,706 - No. 398 00:17:20,706 --> 00:17:22,791 - Imagine how a guy like that might treat a child. 399 00:17:22,791 --> 00:17:25,127 - I shudder to think. 400 00:17:25,127 --> 00:17:26,962 - What do I do now? 401 00:17:26,962 --> 00:17:28,797 I need so much therapy. 402 00:17:28,797 --> 00:17:29,631 - Okay. 403 00:17:31,216 --> 00:17:36,221 Candy, you got yourself out of a very unhealthy relationship 404 00:17:38,015 --> 00:17:39,683 all by yourself. 405 00:17:39,683 --> 00:17:40,642 My hats off. 406 00:17:42,144 --> 00:17:44,813 I don't think you have to come back here anymore. 407 00:17:46,148 --> 00:17:46,982 Time's up. 408 00:17:51,028 --> 00:17:52,488 - When was this? 409 00:17:52,488 --> 00:17:54,698 - About six months ago. 410 00:17:54,698 --> 00:17:58,035 Ever since my dating life has been nothing. 411 00:17:58,035 --> 00:17:59,161 - Nothing? 412 00:17:59,161 --> 00:18:01,205 Guys hit on you constantly. 413 00:18:01,205 --> 00:18:02,831 - No, we all get hit on. 414 00:18:02,831 --> 00:18:05,084 Guys just want to say they went out with a Curvees girl. 415 00:18:05,084 --> 00:18:07,169 - Guys hit on girls that they think are pretty. 416 00:18:07,169 --> 00:18:09,004 - For me it's just the uniform. 417 00:18:09,004 --> 00:18:10,839 It's just like when I was a cheerleader. 418 00:18:10,839 --> 00:18:13,175 - Didn't you go to four senior proms that year? 419 00:18:13,175 --> 00:18:15,344 - Yeah, because guys just want to take a cheerleader 420 00:18:15,344 --> 00:18:16,553 to the prom. 421 00:18:16,553 --> 00:18:18,097 It's the uniform. 422 00:18:18,097 --> 00:18:21,517 - If you were ugly, why did they make you a cheerleader? 423 00:18:21,517 --> 00:18:23,185 - My brother was on the football team. 424 00:18:23,185 --> 00:18:24,520 - Oh, making you a cheerleader 425 00:18:24,520 --> 00:18:25,854 helped your brother play football? 426 00:18:25,854 --> 00:18:28,899 - And my mom was vice president of the PTA. 427 00:18:28,899 --> 00:18:30,526 Nothing to do with me. 428 00:18:30,526 --> 00:18:31,693 (calm music begins) 429 00:18:31,693 --> 00:18:33,195 - The stuff hurts. 430 00:18:33,195 --> 00:18:34,238 - What is it? 431 00:18:34,238 --> 00:18:36,031 - It's your skin goop. 432 00:18:36,031 --> 00:18:37,741 I found it under the sink. 433 00:18:37,741 --> 00:18:39,743 (sighs) 434 00:18:45,040 --> 00:18:47,042 (yelps) 435 00:18:49,545 --> 00:18:50,921 Dog shampoo? 436 00:18:50,921 --> 00:18:51,755 - Jess. 437 00:18:54,883 --> 00:18:55,717 Come here. 438 00:18:57,052 --> 00:18:59,096 (groans) 439 00:19:00,764 --> 00:19:02,558 - Does she need to go to the hospital? 440 00:19:02,558 --> 00:19:03,392 - Yes! 441 00:19:03,392 --> 00:19:04,226 - No. 442 00:19:07,396 --> 00:19:08,730 - I better go soon. 443 00:19:08,730 --> 00:19:10,274 I have to get up tomorrow. 444 00:19:10,274 --> 00:19:11,817 - Early shift? 445 00:19:11,817 --> 00:19:15,237 - No, I have this special class just. 446 00:19:17,072 --> 00:19:20,742 Jess, seriously, how did you not know this was dog shampoo? 447 00:19:20,742 --> 00:19:22,411 - It smelled nice. 448 00:19:22,411 --> 00:19:26,165 - The words, dog shampoo don't mean anything? 449 00:19:26,165 --> 00:19:28,000 - Or the picture of the dog? 450 00:19:29,459 --> 00:19:31,920 - Look, I just thought it was a cheapie brand or something. 451 00:19:31,920 --> 00:19:33,797 And besides why do you have dogs shampoo? 452 00:19:33,797 --> 00:19:34,798 You don't have a dog. 453 00:19:34,798 --> 00:19:36,300 - I sometimes dog-sit. 454 00:19:36,300 --> 00:19:39,428 - I can't remember annoying details like that. 455 00:19:39,428 --> 00:19:43,348 - So I'm smart, I'm annoying, I'm Miss Cheapie Brands? 456 00:19:43,348 --> 00:19:46,685 - Hey, you called yourself the coupon queen. 457 00:19:46,685 --> 00:19:49,521 - At least I do my own shopping. 458 00:19:49,521 --> 00:19:51,440 You are always trying to get some poor idiot 459 00:19:51,440 --> 00:19:52,608 to buy you dinner. 460 00:19:52,608 --> 00:19:54,776 - Okay. Well, let's call it a night. 461 00:19:54,776 --> 00:19:56,612 - Oh, but it was just getting good. 462 00:19:56,612 --> 00:19:59,114 - No, it was just getting bad. 463 00:19:59,114 --> 00:20:00,782 I'll call you tomorrow, Lynnie. 464 00:20:00,782 --> 00:20:01,783 - Ow. Alright. 465 00:20:04,995 --> 00:20:06,538 Bye bye, Cheapie. 466 00:20:06,538 --> 00:20:07,456 - Bye, Jessica. 467 00:20:11,793 --> 00:20:15,547 - Sometimes you need therapy to help sort things out. 468 00:20:15,547 --> 00:20:17,966 And sometimes you just need a good chat 469 00:20:17,966 --> 00:20:19,468 with a ghost from the past. 470 00:20:20,510 --> 00:20:21,637 A cute ghost. 471 00:20:22,721 --> 00:20:25,390 (phone beeping) 472 00:20:30,687 --> 00:20:33,357 (phone dialing) 473 00:20:34,816 --> 00:20:36,235 - [Keith] Hello. 474 00:20:36,235 --> 00:20:37,653 - Keith. 475 00:20:37,653 --> 00:20:39,321 Hi. It's Lynette. 476 00:20:40,489 --> 00:20:42,366 A voice from the past. 477 00:20:42,366 --> 00:20:43,825 - [Keith] Wow. How are you? 478 00:20:45,160 --> 00:20:46,370 - I just started my doctorate. 479 00:20:46,370 --> 00:20:49,873 So I'm excited. But I'm a mess. 480 00:20:50,832 --> 00:20:52,000 - [Keith] That's great. 481 00:20:52,000 --> 00:20:53,168 I'm so proud of you. 482 00:20:55,504 --> 00:20:56,672 - Bobby and I broke up. 483 00:20:57,756 --> 00:21:00,008 - [Keith] How long were you two together? 484 00:21:00,008 --> 00:21:01,551 - Just over four years. 485 00:21:02,719 --> 00:21:03,679 - [Keith] That's how long it's been 486 00:21:03,679 --> 00:21:04,596 since you and I saw each other? 487 00:21:04,596 --> 00:21:06,014 - Since you and I last talked. 488 00:21:07,933 --> 00:21:08,767 How's Stella? 489 00:21:08,767 --> 00:21:10,060 - [Keith] Ha, Darla. 490 00:21:11,186 --> 00:21:12,521 - How's Darla? 491 00:21:12,521 --> 00:21:14,064 - [Keith] Darla is now my wife. 492 00:21:15,274 --> 00:21:16,858 - Oh, she's so lucky. 493 00:21:16,858 --> 00:21:18,360 I'll let you get back to that. 494 00:21:18,360 --> 00:21:20,279 - [Keith] She's not here. 495 00:21:20,279 --> 00:21:22,281 - Yeah, but I'm sure your wife wouldn't want you 496 00:21:22,281 --> 00:21:24,199 to be talking to an ex. 497 00:21:24,199 --> 00:21:25,742 - [Keith] I'm not up to no good. 498 00:21:25,742 --> 00:21:26,868 Uh, are you? 499 00:21:26,868 --> 00:21:28,287 - No. 500 00:21:28,287 --> 00:21:30,872 But you and I- 501 00:21:30,872 --> 00:21:32,874 - [Keith] Why did you and Bobby break up? 502 00:21:34,710 --> 00:21:35,544 - He cheated. 503 00:21:36,712 --> 00:21:39,715 But I think he was just sick of me. 504 00:21:39,715 --> 00:21:40,716 - [Keith] That's terrible. 505 00:21:40,716 --> 00:21:42,384 Either way that's terrible. 506 00:21:42,384 --> 00:21:44,219 I'm so sorry, Lynnie. 507 00:21:44,219 --> 00:21:46,930 - He said he just couldn't talk to me 508 00:21:46,930 --> 00:21:48,598 and he was sick of trying. 509 00:21:51,310 --> 00:21:54,062 Am I really that hard to talk to? 510 00:21:54,062 --> 00:21:55,981 - [Keith] You were never hard to talk to. 511 00:21:59,901 --> 00:22:01,069 - Was I a good lover? 512 00:22:03,572 --> 00:22:07,576 I know I have no right to ask a married man that but- 513 00:22:07,576 --> 00:22:08,577 - [Keith] Good lover? 514 00:22:10,120 --> 00:22:11,413 - Good kisser. 515 00:22:12,581 --> 00:22:14,124 Good at other stuff. 516 00:22:14,124 --> 00:22:15,083 - [Keith] Yes. 517 00:22:15,083 --> 00:22:16,918 Yes, absolutely. 518 00:22:16,918 --> 00:22:18,503 - Really? 519 00:22:18,503 --> 00:22:20,005 - [Keith] If you weren't 520 00:22:20,005 --> 00:22:22,799 then we wouldn't have been together more than once. 521 00:22:22,799 --> 00:22:23,675 Don't you agree? 522 00:22:27,637 --> 00:22:28,972 - I guess I would give you a second chance 523 00:22:28,972 --> 00:22:30,182 with that great smile. 524 00:22:33,435 --> 00:22:36,188 It's just, when you get cheated on, 525 00:22:37,773 --> 00:22:39,649 you lose all your confidence. 526 00:22:39,649 --> 00:22:42,986 Just feel like you've lost everything. 527 00:22:42,986 --> 00:22:46,156 - [Keith] You are a great lover, Lynette. 528 00:22:47,115 --> 00:22:48,325 - Thank you. 529 00:22:48,325 --> 00:22:50,952 - [Keith] I mean, yeah, I'm married, but- 530 00:22:50,952 --> 00:22:52,788 - No. Don't spoil it. 531 00:22:53,705 --> 00:22:55,123 - [Keith] Okay. 532 00:22:55,123 --> 00:22:57,501 You know, you and Darla would adore each other. 533 00:22:59,294 --> 00:23:01,129 - That's nice to hear. 534 00:23:01,129 --> 00:23:02,714 - [Keith] Talk to you later. Bye. 535 00:23:07,844 --> 00:23:10,305 - Jessica's obsession with looking good 536 00:23:10,305 --> 00:23:13,016 worked in her most of the time. 537 00:23:13,016 --> 00:23:14,476 But a few years earlier, 538 00:23:14,476 --> 00:23:17,396 she applied for a job at a company with a very silly name 539 00:23:17,396 --> 00:23:19,648 and she spent three days picking out 540 00:23:19,648 --> 00:23:21,483 the perfect outfit for the interview. 541 00:23:22,651 --> 00:23:24,152 Oops. 542 00:23:24,152 --> 00:23:27,322 (lively music begins) 543 00:23:29,491 --> 00:23:30,575 - [James] Right through there. Take a seat. 544 00:23:30,575 --> 00:23:31,660 - Alright. Thank you. 545 00:23:33,995 --> 00:23:35,747 - Uh, my name is Bill Whitmore, 546 00:23:35,747 --> 00:23:37,332 and I'm here for the interview, please. 547 00:23:37,332 --> 00:23:38,417 - [James] Sign in. 548 00:23:38,417 --> 00:23:39,668 - How long will it be? 549 00:23:39,668 --> 00:23:40,836 - Just go in way. 550 00:23:40,836 --> 00:23:42,337 Take a seat. They'll call you in. 551 00:23:43,505 --> 00:23:44,339 - Thank you. 552 00:23:46,925 --> 00:23:49,344 (jazz music continues) 553 00:23:49,344 --> 00:23:50,679 - How can I help you? 554 00:23:50,679 --> 00:23:52,180 - Hi, my name is Jessica Marshall. 555 00:23:52,180 --> 00:23:53,515 I'm here for the interview. 556 00:23:53,515 --> 00:23:54,516 - Sign in please. 557 00:23:59,521 --> 00:24:00,856 You're next. 558 00:24:00,856 --> 00:24:04,276 (lively music continues) 559 00:24:08,029 --> 00:24:10,073 (knocks) 560 00:24:12,534 --> 00:24:13,702 - Thank you, James. 561 00:24:15,537 --> 00:24:17,539 It's a pleasure, Miss Marshall. 562 00:24:17,539 --> 00:24:22,544 - Hello. Um, am I waiting here for Mr. Reynolds. 563 00:24:23,253 --> 00:24:24,588 - I'm Taylor Reynold. 564 00:24:24,588 --> 00:24:25,422 - Oh. 565 00:24:25,422 --> 00:24:26,548 - Is that a problem? 566 00:24:26,548 --> 00:24:27,924 - No, of course not. 567 00:24:27,924 --> 00:24:30,594 - It looks like you dressed for a man. 568 00:24:30,594 --> 00:24:31,553 (sighs) 569 00:24:31,553 --> 00:24:32,554 - Um. I- 570 00:24:32,554 --> 00:24:33,889 - You look really good. 571 00:24:35,223 --> 00:24:36,475 - Thank you. 572 00:24:36,475 --> 00:24:38,477 - Do you like working for men more than women? 573 00:24:38,477 --> 00:24:40,395 - Oh, I like working more than not working. 574 00:24:40,395 --> 00:24:42,564 - Your cover letter was honest. 575 00:24:42,564 --> 00:24:43,732 That's why I brought you in it. 576 00:24:43,732 --> 00:24:45,734 It certainly wasn't your resume. 577 00:24:46,902 --> 00:24:48,153 - Oh, I see. 578 00:24:49,237 --> 00:24:50,572 I'll show myself out. 579 00:24:50,572 --> 00:24:51,490 - No sit. 580 00:24:51,490 --> 00:24:52,782 You're still in the running. 581 00:24:54,576 --> 00:24:55,911 Do you have siblings? 582 00:24:56,786 --> 00:24:59,080 - Yes. One sister. 583 00:24:59,080 --> 00:25:00,415 Her name is Carolyn. 584 00:25:00,415 --> 00:25:04,294 She's a dancer, singer, actress, choreographer. 585 00:25:05,587 --> 00:25:06,922 I guess I don't have to do those, huh? 586 00:25:06,922 --> 00:25:08,924 - Do these things interest you? 587 00:25:08,924 --> 00:25:10,091 - I used to dance. 588 00:25:11,259 --> 00:25:13,762 I fell off the stage during The Nutcracker. 589 00:25:13,762 --> 00:25:15,805 - Your sister doesn't fall off stages? 590 00:25:15,805 --> 00:25:17,265 - God no! 591 00:25:17,265 --> 00:25:21,436 She's beautiful and graceful and funny, smart. 592 00:25:23,438 --> 00:25:26,107 - Can you look this good every day? 593 00:25:26,107 --> 00:25:27,442 - Of course. 594 00:25:27,442 --> 00:25:30,195 - Can you be cordial to people you dislike? 595 00:25:30,195 --> 00:25:32,280 - Oh gosh. I've been doing that since I was like eleven. 596 00:25:32,280 --> 00:25:36,826 - Are you planning to get married or have a baby soon? 597 00:25:36,826 --> 00:25:37,661 - Ew. 598 00:25:39,037 --> 00:25:40,705 - Are you looking to rise up through the ranks 599 00:25:40,705 --> 00:25:43,458 or would you be happy staying in the same position? 600 00:25:43,458 --> 00:25:44,543 - Would I get paid the same? 601 00:25:44,543 --> 00:25:45,961 - Your salary would accrue. 602 00:25:47,295 --> 00:25:48,296 It would get bigger. 603 00:25:49,464 --> 00:25:51,800 - Oh, well then that would be fine. 604 00:25:51,800 --> 00:25:53,134 - Where's your sister now? 605 00:25:53,134 --> 00:25:55,136 - Oh she lives in New York with her family. 606 00:25:56,888 --> 00:26:00,350 Is it bad that I don't care about rising through the ranks? 607 00:26:00,350 --> 00:26:02,811 - The receptionist is the most important person 608 00:26:02,811 --> 00:26:04,020 at this company. 609 00:26:04,020 --> 00:26:05,814 - I have a really great phone voice. 610 00:26:05,814 --> 00:26:07,816 - He or she is the first person 611 00:26:07,816 --> 00:26:09,651 our clients come in contact with. 612 00:26:09,651 --> 00:26:10,652 - I can dress down. 613 00:26:10,652 --> 00:26:13,196 - No, your look is perfect. 614 00:26:16,491 --> 00:26:17,909 Congratulations. 615 00:26:19,160 --> 00:26:19,995 - Really? 616 00:26:21,663 --> 00:26:23,665 Wow. Women never give me jobs. 617 00:26:27,335 --> 00:26:30,422 - Have you had some wonderful news to share 618 00:26:30,422 --> 00:26:33,842 but one of your pals ruined your moment? 619 00:26:36,386 --> 00:26:38,346 - [Candy] Hey you guys, try this quiz. 620 00:26:38,346 --> 00:26:40,348 - [Lynette] It looks like Femme magazine. 621 00:26:40,348 --> 00:26:42,017 - What's wrong with Femme mag? 622 00:26:42,017 --> 00:26:43,935 - It's devoted to urging women 623 00:26:43,935 --> 00:26:48,523 to make the most of their assets while there's still time. 624 00:26:48,523 --> 00:26:50,734 Nothing lobotomy wouldn't fix. 625 00:26:54,029 --> 00:26:55,864 You try everything to make him stay 626 00:26:55,864 --> 00:26:57,907 yet still his eyes wander. 627 00:26:57,907 --> 00:27:01,036 Take this simple quiz to find out what you're doing wrong. 628 00:27:01,036 --> 00:27:03,913 Because he's obviously doing nothing wrong. 629 00:27:03,913 --> 00:27:06,541 - I don't think Femme is that bad. 630 00:27:06,541 --> 00:27:08,918 They have really great dieting tips. 631 00:27:09,794 --> 00:27:11,880 So what's the first question? 632 00:27:11,880 --> 00:27:15,216 - Your man says he prefers women with larger breasts. 633 00:27:15,216 --> 00:27:16,801 - Oh, oh. 634 00:27:16,801 --> 00:27:21,056 - Do you, A, remind him of his own shortcomings? 635 00:27:21,056 --> 00:27:23,224 - B, assume he's not interested. 636 00:27:23,224 --> 00:27:24,392 - That's not a choice. 637 00:27:24,392 --> 00:27:25,894 - B, have the operation. 638 00:27:25,894 --> 00:27:27,729 Or C, switch his glasses 639 00:27:27,729 --> 00:27:30,398 for ones that make things appear larger than they are. 640 00:27:30,398 --> 00:27:31,733 - What operation? 641 00:27:31,733 --> 00:27:33,109 - Give me. 642 00:27:33,109 --> 00:27:35,070 I can't tell if you're making this stuff up or not. 643 00:27:36,571 --> 00:27:38,907 Your man complains that you're the wrong sex. 644 00:27:38,907 --> 00:27:40,825 Do you, A, get him into therapy 645 00:27:40,825 --> 00:27:43,244 to cure his homosexuality? 646 00:27:43,244 --> 00:27:45,664 B, get therapy yourself? 647 00:27:45,664 --> 00:27:48,833 Or, C, have the operation? 648 00:27:48,833 --> 00:27:50,293 - A breast enlargement? 649 00:27:50,293 --> 00:27:52,420 But that would make you even more the wrong sex. 650 00:27:52,420 --> 00:27:54,923 - Maybe sex is just wrong. 651 00:27:54,923 --> 00:27:56,966 - I dated a gay man for seven months. 652 00:27:56,966 --> 00:27:58,134 (gasps) 653 00:27:58,134 --> 00:28:00,095 - My God, you didn't figure it out? 654 00:28:00,095 --> 00:28:01,346 - There were signs. 655 00:28:01,346 --> 00:28:03,598 But he knew all these cute little restaurants. 656 00:28:03,598 --> 00:28:04,933 - So what happened? 657 00:28:04,933 --> 00:28:06,267 - I gained 10 pounds. 658 00:28:06,267 --> 00:28:08,103 - Did the cute restaurants give it away? 659 00:28:08,103 --> 00:28:09,771 - It was the fact that I gained 10 pounds 660 00:28:09,771 --> 00:28:11,940 and he didn't really mind. 661 00:28:11,940 --> 00:28:14,943 - Your man complains that you're not smart enough. 662 00:28:14,943 --> 00:28:16,820 Do you, A, eat fish, 663 00:28:16,820 --> 00:28:19,447 take night classes and stand on your head? 664 00:28:19,447 --> 00:28:21,658 B, hire a tutor? 665 00:28:21,658 --> 00:28:24,202 Or, C, secretly give him a lobotomy? 666 00:28:25,620 --> 00:28:27,497 - How is standing on your head gonna make you smarter? 667 00:28:27,497 --> 00:28:29,290 - Does it really say the lobotomy thing? 668 00:28:29,290 --> 00:28:30,959 - I kid you not. 669 00:28:30,959 --> 00:28:33,461 - You talk about lobotomies a lot. 670 00:28:33,461 --> 00:28:35,296 Did you have one? 671 00:28:35,296 --> 00:28:38,383 - I tried, but they only got my tonsils. 672 00:28:38,383 --> 00:28:40,135 - Are the tonsils near the lobotom? 673 00:28:42,387 --> 00:28:43,805 Kidding, sweetie. 674 00:28:44,723 --> 00:28:46,307 (sighs) 675 00:28:46,307 --> 00:28:49,060 - Well, I for one have to applaud dear Jesse 676 00:28:49,060 --> 00:28:50,979 for such a fabulouso dinner. 677 00:28:50,979 --> 00:28:52,147 - Hear hear. 678 00:28:52,147 --> 00:28:53,314 - Thank you. 679 00:28:53,314 --> 00:28:54,566 Thank you. 680 00:28:54,566 --> 00:28:56,151 - Did you really whip all this up by herself? 681 00:28:56,151 --> 00:28:58,153 - Me and Marsha Stewart. 682 00:28:58,153 --> 00:29:00,321 - Martha Stewart. Isn't she great? 683 00:29:00,321 --> 00:29:02,157 - Oh, you used a cookbook? 684 00:29:02,157 --> 00:29:04,659 - No, there's this tape where she cooks stuff. 685 00:29:04,659 --> 00:29:06,327 - These chicken wings were to die. 686 00:29:06,327 --> 00:29:08,496 What kind were they? 687 00:29:08,496 --> 00:29:09,998 - Uh. 688 00:29:09,998 --> 00:29:11,750 Muhkayzian Style. 689 00:29:11,750 --> 00:29:13,168 - Curvees is supposed to have a great wings 690 00:29:13,168 --> 00:29:15,170 but they can't hold a candle to yours. 691 00:29:16,171 --> 00:29:18,173 - Muhkayzhian style? 692 00:29:18,173 --> 00:29:21,551 - Yeah. It's some country somewhere. 693 00:29:21,551 --> 00:29:23,845 - Kind of like Malaysia? 694 00:29:23,845 --> 00:29:24,721 - Yes. 695 00:29:24,721 --> 00:29:26,514 Malaysia. They love chicken. 696 00:29:26,514 --> 00:29:28,600 - And what was that green leafy stuff? 697 00:29:28,600 --> 00:29:29,768 - Uh. 698 00:29:30,602 --> 00:29:31,895 Mold. 699 00:29:31,895 --> 00:29:32,937 - Mold? 700 00:29:32,937 --> 00:29:33,855 Really? 701 00:29:33,855 --> 00:29:35,023 - Kind of tasted like basil. 702 00:29:36,691 --> 00:29:40,695 - You know, Spago uses basil in their Malaysian wings too. 703 00:29:40,695 --> 00:29:42,363 - Hm. 704 00:29:42,363 --> 00:29:44,032 - Is Spago a Malaysian restaurant? 705 00:29:45,200 --> 00:29:47,744 - You know exactly what Spago is. 706 00:29:47,744 --> 00:29:49,454 You didn't cook all this, did you? 707 00:29:50,371 --> 00:29:51,456 - I wanted to. 708 00:29:52,373 --> 00:29:54,250 - That's something. 709 00:29:54,250 --> 00:29:55,543 - What about dessert? 710 00:29:55,543 --> 00:29:56,878 - Oh, dessert might happen. 711 00:29:56,878 --> 00:29:58,129 We'll see. 712 00:29:58,129 --> 00:30:00,215 - Okay. Well I brought some Devil's Food cake. 713 00:30:00,215 --> 00:30:02,550 You know, just in case. 714 00:30:02,550 --> 00:30:03,551 - Just in case what? 715 00:30:03,551 --> 00:30:05,386 - In case Jess forgot. 716 00:30:05,386 --> 00:30:07,806 - But Devil's Food is the most important part. 717 00:30:07,806 --> 00:30:08,723 - Can we get back to the quiz? 718 00:30:08,723 --> 00:30:09,599 I think I'm winning. 719 00:30:09,599 --> 00:30:10,600 - We're not keeping score. 720 00:30:10,600 --> 00:30:11,893 How could you be winning? 721 00:30:11,893 --> 00:30:13,895 - The stuff you guys are saying. 722 00:30:13,895 --> 00:30:16,064 - Your man wonders how you look as a blonde. 723 00:30:16,064 --> 00:30:18,900 Do you, A, wonder how he'd look as a pot roast? 724 00:30:18,900 --> 00:30:20,235 B, dye hair blonde? 725 00:30:20,235 --> 00:30:22,737 C, dye all your hair blonde? 726 00:30:22,737 --> 00:30:24,823 - Oh no, no burns. 727 00:30:24,823 --> 00:30:26,241 - Pot roast takes too long. 728 00:30:26,241 --> 00:30:27,617 Just shoot him. 729 00:30:27,617 --> 00:30:29,744 - See, this is why I'm winning. 730 00:30:29,744 --> 00:30:31,120 - You're not winning. 731 00:30:31,120 --> 00:30:32,163 - You guys aren't even trying. 732 00:30:32,163 --> 00:30:33,790 I always pick the best answers. 733 00:30:33,790 --> 00:30:36,584 - I'm already a blonde and it's not helping. 734 00:30:36,584 --> 00:30:38,419 - You need a blonde attitude, honey. 735 00:30:39,420 --> 00:30:40,588 - I don't even know what that is 736 00:30:40,588 --> 00:30:42,674 and already hate it. 737 00:30:42,674 --> 00:30:46,010 - A blonde attitude is when you don't care as much. 738 00:30:46,010 --> 00:30:48,513 Like, what would you do 739 00:30:48,513 --> 00:30:50,807 if somebody called you by the wrong name? 740 00:30:50,807 --> 00:30:52,100 - During sex? 741 00:30:52,100 --> 00:30:53,268 - Well, duh. 742 00:30:53,268 --> 00:30:54,811 When else would you bother with names? 743 00:30:54,811 --> 00:30:56,437 This one time, this clown completely forgot my name. 744 00:30:56,437 --> 00:30:57,522 And I just laughed at him. 745 00:30:57,522 --> 00:30:58,815 - Do you remember his name? 746 00:30:58,815 --> 00:30:59,649 - Of course not. 747 00:30:59,649 --> 00:31:00,817 That's the point. 748 00:31:00,817 --> 00:31:02,026 - You may not care about names, 749 00:31:02,026 --> 00:31:04,529 but you do care about men an awful lot. 750 00:31:04,529 --> 00:31:05,989 - And so do you. 751 00:31:05,989 --> 00:31:08,116 - I'm trying to get my life started. 752 00:31:08,116 --> 00:31:10,618 - Yeah. So some handsome prince will come sweep you 753 00:31:10,618 --> 00:31:13,121 off your feet and say, "How bad are you, brainy wench? 754 00:31:13,121 --> 00:31:15,123 You want to come and help me rule my kingdom?" 755 00:31:15,123 --> 00:31:16,374 - Guys, it doesn't matter 756 00:31:16,374 --> 00:31:18,543 which one of you gets hit on more or whatever. 757 00:31:18,543 --> 00:31:20,628 You're both beautiful. 758 00:31:20,628 --> 00:31:22,630 - Hang on, Candy. 759 00:31:22,630 --> 00:31:24,883 You're the prettiest of all. 760 00:31:24,883 --> 00:31:26,134 - No, I'm not. 761 00:31:26,134 --> 00:31:27,302 - No, she's not. 762 00:31:28,678 --> 00:31:31,806 - I mean, no thank you. I'm not. 763 00:31:31,806 --> 00:31:33,224 Ow. 764 00:31:33,224 --> 00:31:34,809 - No, I'm not... 765 00:31:34,809 --> 00:31:37,145 I didn't mean that you're not pretty. 766 00:31:37,145 --> 00:31:39,188 - Then what did you mean? 767 00:31:39,188 --> 00:31:42,066 - I just mean she's not the prettiest. 768 00:31:42,066 --> 00:31:43,651 - And you are? 769 00:31:43,651 --> 00:31:45,653 - I go out way more than you two. 770 00:31:45,653 --> 00:31:47,488 - Ever work at Curvees. 771 00:31:47,488 --> 00:31:49,240 - Is that an accomplishment? 772 00:31:49,240 --> 00:31:50,658 - It kind of was for me. 773 00:31:50,658 --> 00:31:53,411 - Jess, how good do you look in tiny shorts 774 00:31:53,411 --> 00:31:54,829 and clingy T-shirts? 775 00:31:54,829 --> 00:31:56,331 - Pretty damn good. 776 00:31:56,331 --> 00:31:57,665 It's just not my style. 777 00:31:59,000 --> 00:32:00,585 - You guys, we're arguing about which one of us is prettier. 778 00:32:00,585 --> 00:32:02,003 How silly is that? 779 00:32:02,003 --> 00:32:03,421 - Well, beauty is important. 780 00:32:03,421 --> 00:32:04,881 Pretty people make more money. 781 00:32:04,881 --> 00:32:07,425 And my salary continues to accrue. 782 00:32:07,425 --> 00:32:08,760 - Where do you work? 783 00:32:08,760 --> 00:32:09,886 Grouchy Bird? 784 00:32:09,886 --> 00:32:11,387 - Barking Parrot. 785 00:32:11,387 --> 00:32:13,348 - And what does Barking Parrot do? 786 00:32:14,682 --> 00:32:15,892 - Development. 787 00:32:15,892 --> 00:32:17,518 - Of what? 788 00:32:17,518 --> 00:32:19,228 - Properties. 789 00:32:19,228 --> 00:32:20,688 - Real estate? 790 00:32:20,688 --> 00:32:22,690 - Some. I think. 791 00:32:22,690 --> 00:32:23,900 - Real estate? 792 00:32:23,900 --> 00:32:25,526 You never mentioned that before. 793 00:32:25,526 --> 00:32:28,279 - I thought your company did stuff for the movies. 794 00:32:28,279 --> 00:32:29,530 - I know. 795 00:32:29,530 --> 00:32:33,034 We develop literary properties. I think. 796 00:32:33,034 --> 00:32:35,370 - You write TV shows and stuff? 797 00:32:35,370 --> 00:32:37,205 - No. No we don't write them. 798 00:32:37,205 --> 00:32:39,540 We develop them. I think. 799 00:32:39,540 --> 00:32:42,043 - What exactly do you do? 800 00:32:42,043 --> 00:32:43,628 - Oh, I'm the receptionist. 801 00:32:43,628 --> 00:32:44,879 I send emails. 802 00:32:44,879 --> 00:32:45,880 I make phone calls. 803 00:32:45,880 --> 00:32:46,714 I print stuff. 804 00:32:46,714 --> 00:32:47,715 I'm very busy. 805 00:32:47,715 --> 00:32:49,217 - And what do the emails say? 806 00:32:49,217 --> 00:32:50,718 And the phone calls? 807 00:32:50,718 --> 00:32:51,552 - Development. 808 00:32:53,638 --> 00:32:55,056 Oh no. I know. 809 00:32:55,056 --> 00:32:57,392 I know. We develop film. 810 00:32:57,392 --> 00:32:58,226 - Right. 811 00:32:58,226 --> 00:32:59,143 Movies. 812 00:32:59,143 --> 00:33:00,645 - No, no, no, no. 813 00:33:00,645 --> 00:33:02,939 We actually develop actual film for the actual movies. 814 00:33:02,939 --> 00:33:05,400 Like, like with chemicals and stuff. 815 00:33:05,400 --> 00:33:07,276 Oh this is going to help me do my job better. 816 00:33:07,276 --> 00:33:08,111 - Oh no. 817 00:33:15,660 --> 00:33:17,745 (coughs) 818 00:33:19,747 --> 00:33:22,083 (coughing) 819 00:33:25,253 --> 00:33:26,087 All better. 820 00:33:29,674 --> 00:33:30,591 (vomiting) 821 00:33:30,591 --> 00:33:31,843 - Was it something you ate? 822 00:33:31,843 --> 00:33:32,677 - Ew. 823 00:33:43,604 --> 00:33:45,356 - I'll be fine in a second. 824 00:33:47,608 --> 00:33:50,945 - Okay. Now back to me. I'm a really good receptionist. 825 00:33:50,945 --> 00:33:52,613 I'm, I'm really good at my job. 826 00:33:52,613 --> 00:33:54,115 I make a lot of money. 827 00:33:54,115 --> 00:33:56,367 And I'm so sick and tired of people telling me 828 00:33:56,367 --> 00:33:58,536 that I'm too stupid to move up in the company. 829 00:33:58,536 --> 00:34:00,872 I just don't want to move up. 830 00:34:00,872 --> 00:34:03,291 - Can we focus on Candy for a bit? 831 00:34:03,291 --> 00:34:04,792 - Oh, yeah. 832 00:34:04,792 --> 00:34:05,626 I can do that. 833 00:34:06,627 --> 00:34:09,130 So, Candy, 834 00:34:11,507 --> 00:34:12,300 your weight- 835 00:34:12,300 --> 00:34:13,301 - Jessica! 836 00:34:13,301 --> 00:34:15,136 - What? It's not about me. 837 00:34:15,136 --> 00:34:16,804 I know this really great diet. 838 00:34:16,804 --> 00:34:18,848 - There is nothing wrong with her weight. 839 00:34:19,807 --> 00:34:20,975 - There will be. 840 00:34:23,311 --> 00:34:24,645 - Oh my God. 841 00:34:24,645 --> 00:34:25,563 You're pregnant? 842 00:34:26,647 --> 00:34:28,316 - She's not pregnant, silly. 843 00:34:28,316 --> 00:34:30,026 She just has an eating disorder. 844 00:34:30,026 --> 00:34:31,486 I know this really great therapist. 845 00:34:31,486 --> 00:34:32,987 - No, you guys. 846 00:34:32,987 --> 00:34:34,322 I am pregnant. 847 00:34:36,491 --> 00:34:38,242 - Who's the father? 848 00:34:38,242 --> 00:34:39,160 - The father? 849 00:34:39,160 --> 00:34:41,037 - I mean, usually there is one. 850 00:34:41,037 --> 00:34:41,829 - Give her a break. 851 00:34:41,829 --> 00:34:43,331 She obviously forgot. 852 00:34:43,331 --> 00:34:44,665 - I didn't forget. 853 00:34:44,665 --> 00:34:46,417 - Well have you at least narrowed it down? 854 00:34:46,417 --> 00:34:47,668 - Ew. 855 00:34:47,668 --> 00:34:49,045 - Is it someone we know? Is he cute? 856 00:34:49,045 --> 00:34:50,421 - No, you guys. 857 00:34:50,421 --> 00:34:51,339 (gasps) 858 00:34:51,339 --> 00:34:52,381 - Oh my God. He's married. 859 00:34:52,381 --> 00:34:53,216 - No. 860 00:34:54,050 --> 00:34:55,009 - Oh. 861 00:34:55,009 --> 00:34:58,179 Was it R-A-P-E? 862 00:34:58,179 --> 00:34:59,680 - No, I wasn't raped. 863 00:34:59,680 --> 00:35:01,682 You guys, I'm just pregnant. 864 00:35:01,682 --> 00:35:03,017 - Honey, I'm so sorry. 865 00:35:03,017 --> 00:35:04,102 - Sorry? 866 00:35:04,102 --> 00:35:05,686 This cost me a bunch of money. 867 00:35:05,686 --> 00:35:07,438 - And you're still pregnant? 868 00:35:09,190 --> 00:35:10,858 I know this really great abortionist. 869 00:35:10,858 --> 00:35:12,860 - It's a test tube baby. 870 00:35:12,860 --> 00:35:15,363 - Wait, you got insinuated? 871 00:35:15,363 --> 00:35:16,864 - Inseminated. 872 00:35:16,864 --> 00:35:18,199 - You went to one of those sperm banks? 873 00:35:18,199 --> 00:35:20,576 Do you know what kind of perverts go to those? 874 00:35:20,576 --> 00:35:23,538 - Healthy, educated perverts. 875 00:35:23,538 --> 00:35:25,748 I hear some are homo sapiens 876 00:35:25,748 --> 00:35:28,918 and a few practicing heterosexuals. 877 00:35:28,918 --> 00:35:30,211 - Yuck. 878 00:35:30,211 --> 00:35:32,380 You let one of those father your baby? 879 00:35:34,924 --> 00:35:36,884 - Picking out the father of your child 880 00:35:36,884 --> 00:35:39,720 from just a photo probably sounds crazy. 881 00:35:39,720 --> 00:35:43,307 But nowadays women use phone apps to find a boyfriend. 882 00:35:43,307 --> 00:35:45,434 Have things really changed that much? 883 00:35:48,604 --> 00:35:52,400 - Ah yup. Yup. 1000 on Jim Dandy and the fifth. 884 00:35:52,400 --> 00:35:53,943 Thanks, Tony. 885 00:35:53,943 --> 00:35:56,070 Hi. Welcome, Candy. 886 00:35:56,070 --> 00:35:57,572 - Hi. 887 00:35:57,572 --> 00:35:58,447 - Please sit. 888 00:35:58,447 --> 00:36:02,076 So here is the catalog. 889 00:36:02,076 --> 00:36:03,661 - [Candy] Oh, okay. 890 00:36:03,661 --> 00:36:05,121 - Take a look. 891 00:36:05,121 --> 00:36:06,455 See anything you like? 892 00:36:06,455 --> 00:36:08,166 - It's kind of overwhelming. 893 00:36:08,166 --> 00:36:09,500 - Ooh. 894 00:36:09,500 --> 00:36:10,835 Have fun with it. 895 00:36:10,835 --> 00:36:12,253 Like it's Christmas morning. 896 00:36:13,421 --> 00:36:15,423 - Are any of these guys serial killers? 897 00:36:15,423 --> 00:36:16,674 - No. 898 00:36:16,674 --> 00:36:17,758 No. We keep those in another binder. 899 00:36:18,759 --> 00:36:20,136 No I'm kidding. 900 00:36:21,512 --> 00:36:24,807 We screen all our clients, most of our clients. 901 00:36:24,807 --> 00:36:26,350 But you got that in the, in the pamphlet 902 00:36:26,350 --> 00:36:28,019 that came in the mail. 903 00:36:28,019 --> 00:36:28,936 - I'm just- 904 00:36:29,937 --> 00:36:31,689 - A little nervous? 905 00:36:31,689 --> 00:36:32,523 I understand. 906 00:36:33,774 --> 00:36:35,443 Tell you what? Try this. 907 00:36:35,443 --> 00:36:37,278 I want you to close your eyes. 908 00:36:37,278 --> 00:36:42,283 Okay. Now you're you're in a dark room and you hear a voice. 909 00:36:44,452 --> 00:36:46,037 - Sweetheart, can we get another pitcher 910 00:36:46,037 --> 00:36:47,788 and an order of wings. 911 00:36:47,788 --> 00:36:50,666 - No, not a, not a work voice. 912 00:36:50,666 --> 00:36:52,710 This is the voice of your child. 913 00:36:52,710 --> 00:36:54,962 Okay? Try to hear that voice. 914 00:36:55,796 --> 00:36:57,882 Now. Try to see your child. 915 00:36:59,300 --> 00:37:00,468 Can you see your child? 916 00:37:01,844 --> 00:37:02,678 - Mm-hm. 917 00:37:02,678 --> 00:37:03,512 - Okay. 918 00:37:03,512 --> 00:37:04,972 Boy or girl? 919 00:37:04,972 --> 00:37:05,848 - A little girl. 920 00:37:05,848 --> 00:37:07,058 Hi, Beanie. 921 00:37:07,058 --> 00:37:08,851 God, she's beautiful. 922 00:37:08,851 --> 00:37:10,186 - Um, Beanie? 923 00:37:10,186 --> 00:37:12,146 - Oh, that's what I'm calling her right now. 924 00:37:12,146 --> 00:37:13,397 Beanie Baby. 925 00:37:13,397 --> 00:37:14,482 - Okay. 926 00:37:14,482 --> 00:37:16,192 Well, now open your eyes. 927 00:37:18,361 --> 00:37:19,820 Take a look at the men in that book 928 00:37:19,820 --> 00:37:22,490 and just choose the one that reminds you of Beanie. 929 00:37:25,493 --> 00:37:28,329 - Uh. Imagine picking a life partner out of a catalog. 930 00:37:28,329 --> 00:37:29,830 (laughs) 931 00:37:29,830 --> 00:37:32,166 - Well, that's the good thing about this process. 932 00:37:32,166 --> 00:37:33,584 You don't have a life partner. 933 00:37:33,584 --> 00:37:35,169 Just their sperm. 934 00:37:35,169 --> 00:37:36,754 They won't break a date 935 00:37:36,754 --> 00:37:39,507 or break your heart or spend all your money. 936 00:37:39,507 --> 00:37:41,008 (laughs) 937 00:37:41,008 --> 00:37:43,844 It's just going to be you, and their sperm, and Beanie Bag. 938 00:37:43,844 --> 00:37:45,179 Erm, Beanie. 939 00:37:46,514 --> 00:37:49,850 - Hey, can I get two donors and mix them up in a test tube? 940 00:37:49,850 --> 00:37:52,603 Kind of like a little sperm competition for my eggs. 941 00:37:54,021 --> 00:37:55,022 - Erm, why would you want to do that? 942 00:37:55,022 --> 00:37:57,108 - Hmm, they're just all so cute. 943 00:37:57,108 --> 00:37:58,734 I can't pick. 944 00:37:58,734 --> 00:38:00,236 - Hey. 945 00:38:00,236 --> 00:38:01,070 Sure. 946 00:38:01,070 --> 00:38:02,196 Why not? 947 00:38:02,196 --> 00:38:03,030 I'll tell you what. 948 00:38:03,030 --> 00:38:04,865 This week, for you, 949 00:38:04,865 --> 00:38:07,535 all specimens are Buy-One-Get-One-Half-Off. 950 00:38:07,535 --> 00:38:10,538 Even throw you a little test tube baby party if you want. 951 00:38:10,538 --> 00:38:12,540 - Is your work guaranteed? 952 00:38:12,540 --> 00:38:14,041 - If the process doesn't work the first time, 953 00:38:14,041 --> 00:38:15,710 we just keep trying. 954 00:38:15,710 --> 00:38:17,878 In fact, we can try it today. 955 00:38:18,713 --> 00:38:19,922 - Get pregnant today? 956 00:38:22,717 --> 00:38:24,051 But I'm not dressed for it. 957 00:38:25,553 --> 00:38:26,554 (lively music begins) 958 00:38:26,554 --> 00:38:27,388 (phone rings) 959 00:38:27,388 --> 00:38:28,597 - Uh, excuse me. 960 00:38:29,890 --> 00:38:31,559 Hello? Bundles of Joy Labs. 961 00:38:31,559 --> 00:38:33,811 We deliver so you can too. 962 00:38:33,811 --> 00:38:34,812 Oh, Margaret. 963 00:38:34,812 --> 00:38:35,646 How are you? 964 00:38:35,646 --> 00:38:37,481 How are the twins? 965 00:38:37,481 --> 00:38:38,316 Really? 966 00:38:39,400 --> 00:38:40,234 Barking? 967 00:38:41,569 --> 00:38:43,237 Hold on one second. 968 00:38:43,237 --> 00:38:45,740 Just let me know when you want to make your baby. 969 00:38:47,074 --> 00:38:48,326 Both of them are barking? 970 00:38:51,746 --> 00:38:55,082 - Okay. Just promise me one thing. 971 00:38:55,082 --> 00:38:56,584 If you ever find yourself 972 00:38:56,584 --> 00:38:59,086 in a conversation like the one you're about to hear, 973 00:38:59,086 --> 00:39:00,254 shut it down, 974 00:39:00,254 --> 00:39:03,007 call the police, order a pizza, 975 00:39:03,007 --> 00:39:04,759 or just get the hell out of there. 976 00:39:07,261 --> 00:39:09,930 - I think having a child on your own is wonderful. 977 00:39:09,930 --> 00:39:10,806 - You do. 978 00:39:10,806 --> 00:39:11,640 - You do? 979 00:39:11,640 --> 00:39:12,850 - Don't you? 980 00:39:12,850 --> 00:39:15,102 - Just buy a dog. 981 00:39:15,102 --> 00:39:16,354 - When are you due? 982 00:39:16,354 --> 00:39:17,605 - Six months. 983 00:39:17,605 --> 00:39:19,482 - Okay. Well, we;ll have to throw you a shower. 984 00:39:19,482 --> 00:39:20,775 - No. 985 00:39:20,775 --> 00:39:22,026 No, people will think I've been abandoned 986 00:39:22,026 --> 00:39:23,319 and feel sorry for me. 987 00:39:23,319 --> 00:39:24,695 - I feel sorry for. 988 00:39:24,695 --> 00:39:26,697 - No, we can put on the invitation, 989 00:39:26,697 --> 00:39:29,700 "This baby is actually wanted." 990 00:39:29,700 --> 00:39:32,119 - You know, you deserve a party. 991 00:39:32,119 --> 00:39:33,621 - Thank you, Jess. 992 00:39:33,621 --> 00:39:34,955 - I mean your life is about to be over. 993 00:39:34,955 --> 00:39:36,999 So might as well laugh it up while you can. 994 00:39:36,999 --> 00:39:39,627 Forget about having a penny to spend on yourself. 995 00:39:39,627 --> 00:39:41,128 No free time. 996 00:39:41,128 --> 00:39:42,671 And the only kind of guys that are going to be into you 997 00:39:42,671 --> 00:39:44,465 are the creepo fetish types. 998 00:39:44,465 --> 00:39:46,509 - You think I haven't thought of all that stuff? 999 00:39:46,509 --> 00:39:48,552 - Well, are you ready for it? 1000 00:39:48,552 --> 00:39:49,553 - No. 1001 00:39:49,553 --> 00:39:50,388 - Will you be? 1002 00:39:50,388 --> 00:39:52,306 - In six months? 1003 00:39:52,306 --> 00:39:53,557 - Probably not. 1004 00:39:53,557 --> 00:39:55,643 - Then what business do you have doing it? 1005 00:39:55,643 --> 00:39:57,812 - A baby is not a business. 1006 00:39:57,812 --> 00:40:00,147 - Why don't you just poke a hole in a condom? 1007 00:40:00,147 --> 00:40:01,565 - Why don't you just get married? 1008 00:40:01,565 --> 00:40:03,984 - No, no. You two are not going to make me 1009 00:40:03,984 --> 00:40:05,403 feel bad about this. 1010 00:40:05,403 --> 00:40:08,823 It's a good decision, and I'm going to have a good baby. 1011 00:40:10,199 --> 00:40:11,242 Did I say that right? 1012 00:40:14,537 --> 00:40:16,414 - I'm going to squeeze you to pieces. 1013 00:40:17,706 --> 00:40:21,168 (gentle music continues) 1014 00:40:22,002 --> 00:40:24,380 (giggles) 1015 00:40:24,380 --> 00:40:25,589 - I could babysit. 1016 00:40:27,508 --> 00:40:29,093 What? 1017 00:40:29,093 --> 00:40:30,678 - Okay. You keep her walking around 1018 00:40:30,678 --> 00:40:32,096 while I call 911. 1019 00:40:32,096 --> 00:40:34,348 - Obviously Friday Saturday and Sunday nights 1020 00:40:34,348 --> 00:40:35,766 are out of the question. 1021 00:40:35,766 --> 00:40:38,352 - Okay, she's coming out of it. 1022 00:40:38,352 --> 00:40:40,604 - I don't hear you offering to babysit. 1023 00:40:42,398 --> 00:40:44,024 - I could. 1024 00:40:44,024 --> 00:40:45,526 - You two would do that for me? 1025 00:40:47,027 --> 00:40:50,030 - The three of us could raise a baby better than any couple. 1026 00:40:51,240 --> 00:40:54,201 - I only offered to babysit. 1027 00:40:54,201 --> 00:40:55,536 - No. Think about it. 1028 00:40:56,704 --> 00:41:00,040 Together we make up the ideal woman. 1029 00:41:01,709 --> 00:41:04,712 Beauty, brains and personality. 1030 00:41:04,712 --> 00:41:08,215 - An ideal woman is only made up of three things? 1031 00:41:08,215 --> 00:41:09,467 - I get it. 1032 00:41:09,467 --> 00:41:11,135 Each of our strengths fills in the weakness 1033 00:41:11,135 --> 00:41:14,263 of the other two. Like the three witches and Macbeth. 1034 00:41:14,263 --> 00:41:16,390 - I don't see foreign films. 1035 00:41:16,390 --> 00:41:17,600 Anyway, what's so good about a witch? 1036 00:41:17,600 --> 00:41:19,268 They have bad skin and facial hair. 1037 00:41:19,268 --> 00:41:22,563 - They're strong, smart, in control their own destiny. 1038 00:41:22,563 --> 00:41:25,900 - Yeah, yeah. Look, Lynette is the brains, 1039 00:41:25,900 --> 00:41:27,985 you're the personality, 1040 00:41:27,985 --> 00:41:29,278 and I'm the beauty. 1041 00:41:33,908 --> 00:41:36,410 - I'm going to start cleaning up the dishes now. 1042 00:41:36,410 --> 00:41:38,829 - Don't leave me alone with her. 1043 00:41:40,247 --> 00:41:42,625 - What? It's not like I'm saying something bad. 1044 00:41:42,625 --> 00:41:43,792 Candy has personality. 1045 00:41:43,792 --> 00:41:45,294 Everybody loves her. 1046 00:41:45,294 --> 00:41:48,255 And you, your school thing. You're all smart me. 1047 00:41:48,255 --> 00:41:53,260 - Me, I get complimented a lot, and noticed a lot, 1048 00:41:54,512 --> 00:41:56,180 hit on a lot. 1049 00:41:56,180 --> 00:41:58,432 - Doesn't mean anything. 1050 00:41:58,432 --> 00:42:00,434 - I get laid, okay? 1051 00:42:00,434 --> 00:42:01,602 A lot. 1052 00:42:01,602 --> 00:42:04,021 Whenever I want. By whoever I want. 1053 00:42:04,021 --> 00:42:07,775 And meanwhile, you study and Candy knits, I guess. 1054 00:42:07,775 --> 00:42:09,193 - That doesn't mean that you're- 1055 00:42:09,193 --> 00:42:10,861 - Let's change the subject. 1056 00:42:11,820 --> 00:42:12,780 - I'm sorry. 1057 00:42:12,780 --> 00:42:13,614 I don't know what to say. 1058 00:42:13,614 --> 00:42:15,282 I'm so upset right now. 1059 00:42:15,282 --> 00:42:18,202 - You don't really mean all this, do you, Jess? 1060 00:42:18,202 --> 00:42:19,119 - Sure I do. 1061 00:42:19,119 --> 00:42:20,329 - [Lynette] Oh my God. 1062 00:42:20,329 --> 00:42:21,497 It's like a monkey playing with dynamite. 1063 00:42:21,497 --> 00:42:22,790 - It's a compliment! 1064 00:42:22,790 --> 00:42:24,458 - What? Saying that you're prettier than us. 1065 00:42:24,458 --> 00:42:25,668 That's a compliment? 1066 00:42:25,668 --> 00:42:28,796 - No, I'm saying that you're smarter than us 1067 00:42:28,796 --> 00:42:32,299 and that Candy has more personality than us. 1068 00:42:32,299 --> 00:42:35,302 - But you don't care about brains or personality. 1069 00:42:35,302 --> 00:42:36,804 - Oh, obviously I don't need them. 1070 00:42:36,804 --> 00:42:38,138 But where would you two be? 1071 00:42:42,476 --> 00:42:46,981 Candy, you told us that you teach stuff at the "Y". 1072 00:42:46,981 --> 00:42:50,192 And there's things on your wall that you knitted. 1073 00:42:50,192 --> 00:42:52,152 That's insane. 1074 00:42:52,152 --> 00:42:54,697 And now with your whole baby thing, 1075 00:42:54,697 --> 00:42:57,157 if you want a guy that wants children, 1076 00:42:57,157 --> 00:42:58,701 you just show him yours. 1077 00:42:59,868 --> 00:43:03,581 And Lynette, you want a smart guy. 1078 00:43:03,581 --> 00:43:05,583 Where else are you going to find one 1079 00:43:05,583 --> 00:43:09,003 than at a college for smart people? 1080 00:43:09,003 --> 00:43:11,171 - Brains aren't everything. 1081 00:43:11,171 --> 00:43:12,673 - If you really thought that 1082 00:43:12,673 --> 00:43:14,508 then why didn't you marry Billy from the hardware store? 1083 00:43:14,508 --> 00:43:15,426 - Bobby. 1084 00:43:15,426 --> 00:43:17,511 Because I didn't want to. 1085 00:43:17,511 --> 00:43:20,514 - No, because he worked at a dumb hardware store. 1086 00:43:20,514 --> 00:43:22,683 - No, because he called himself Bobby. 1087 00:43:22,683 --> 00:43:25,019 - Oh, you thought it was a cute name. 1088 00:43:25,019 --> 00:43:26,687 (sighs) 1089 00:43:26,687 --> 00:43:28,856 - What kind of man do you want, Jess? 1090 00:43:28,856 --> 00:43:30,357 - Rich. What else? 1091 00:43:30,357 --> 00:43:33,902 - Then why do you only date gorgeous men? 1092 00:43:33,902 --> 00:43:35,779 - Oh, the gorgeous are much more likely to be rich. 1093 00:43:35,779 --> 00:43:37,031 Ask Darwin. 1094 00:43:37,031 --> 00:43:39,199 - I actually heard that on the news. 1095 00:43:39,199 --> 00:43:41,577 - Also, more of us are famous. 1096 00:43:41,577 --> 00:43:43,245 - Us? 1097 00:43:43,245 --> 00:43:45,372 Us gorgeous people? 1098 00:43:45,372 --> 00:43:46,540 - Okay. 1099 00:43:46,540 --> 00:43:47,708 We. 1100 00:43:47,708 --> 00:43:48,959 We gorgeous people. 1101 00:43:48,959 --> 00:43:50,210 Are you satisfied? 1102 00:43:50,210 --> 00:43:51,962 - Not until you apologize. 1103 00:43:51,962 --> 00:43:53,380 - For what? 1104 00:43:53,380 --> 00:43:54,548 - Saying we're ugly. 1105 00:43:54,548 --> 00:43:55,716 (beeping) 1106 00:43:55,716 --> 00:43:56,925 - Oh my God. What's that? 1107 00:44:00,054 --> 00:44:01,889 - Don't you know? It's your kitchen. 1108 00:44:04,892 --> 00:44:07,102 - [Lynette] Something in your oven is on fire! 1109 00:44:07,102 --> 00:44:09,396 - Oh. That? Don't worry about that. 1110 00:44:13,275 --> 00:44:15,569 (coughing) 1111 00:44:16,904 --> 00:44:17,905 What are you doing? 1112 00:44:19,907 --> 00:44:20,824 - I'm going to go. 1113 00:44:21,742 --> 00:44:22,576 - What's this? 1114 00:44:22,576 --> 00:44:24,244 - Nothing. 1115 00:44:24,244 --> 00:44:25,079 - Jess, 1116 00:44:26,955 --> 00:44:27,831 did you us a- 1117 00:44:27,831 --> 00:44:28,666 - No! 1118 00:44:28,666 --> 00:44:29,917 Are you kidding? 1119 00:44:29,917 --> 00:44:31,418 I don't even know where that came from. 1120 00:44:31,418 --> 00:44:34,421 - Okay. Well tell Lynnie I'm sorry but I gotta go. 1121 00:44:34,421 --> 00:44:36,507 Tell her to call me later. 1122 00:44:36,507 --> 00:44:38,676 (beeping) 1123 00:44:48,811 --> 00:44:50,521 (coughing) 1124 00:44:50,521 --> 00:44:51,855 - What did you burn? 1125 00:44:53,357 --> 00:44:54,942 - Nothing. It's nothing. 1126 00:44:55,776 --> 00:44:56,944 Leave it alone. 1127 00:44:56,944 --> 00:44:58,320 Candy left. 1128 00:44:58,320 --> 00:44:59,279 - What did she say? 1129 00:45:00,698 --> 00:45:02,950 - She said that she wanted to leave before you got back. 1130 00:45:04,368 --> 00:45:05,202 - Oh God. 1131 00:45:06,120 --> 00:45:07,287 Should I call her? 1132 00:45:07,287 --> 00:45:10,791 - No. You should probably leave too. 1133 00:45:10,791 --> 00:45:13,877 (soft music continues) 1134 00:45:13,877 --> 00:45:15,045 - Okay. Fine. 1135 00:45:15,963 --> 00:45:17,464 Good night. 1136 00:45:17,464 --> 00:45:20,718 (soft music continues) 1137 00:45:24,304 --> 00:45:26,140 - Thank you for ruining everything! 1138 00:45:31,478 --> 00:45:33,647 - Lynette and Candy stayed busy, of course. 1139 00:45:33,647 --> 00:45:35,149 They lived in an exciting city, 1140 00:45:35,149 --> 00:45:37,484 and they found lots of new ways to explore it. 1141 00:45:38,569 --> 00:45:41,321 But sometimes is it just more fun with three? 1142 00:45:42,656 --> 00:45:43,699 I don't know. 1143 00:45:43,699 --> 00:45:46,869 (lively music begins) 1144 00:47:18,252 --> 00:47:19,253 - [Stroman] That's a terrific title 1145 00:47:19,253 --> 00:47:20,629 for your dissertation, Lynette. 1146 00:47:20,629 --> 00:47:21,463 - [Lynette] Yay. 1147 00:47:22,422 --> 00:47:24,299 - But you were finished. 1148 00:47:24,299 --> 00:47:25,926 What made you suddenly change it? 1149 00:47:25,926 --> 00:47:27,177 - You said yourself 1150 00:47:27,177 --> 00:47:29,263 that the original title lacked a point of view. 1151 00:47:29,263 --> 00:47:31,932 - Yeah. You, you went from a 1152 00:47:31,932 --> 00:47:35,435 "Classical Versus Modern Perceptions of Femininity" 1153 00:47:35,435 --> 00:47:37,688 to "Why Beauty Kills". 1154 00:47:38,939 --> 00:47:40,774 Definitely have a point of view now. 1155 00:47:40,774 --> 00:47:42,651 - Somethings that have happened recently 1156 00:47:42,651 --> 00:47:45,445 gave me a new passion for the topic. 1157 00:47:45,445 --> 00:47:46,780 - Oh, I know. 1158 00:47:47,990 --> 00:47:49,533 - You know what? 1159 00:47:49,533 --> 00:47:51,618 - Oh, I figured something must have happened. 1160 00:47:51,618 --> 00:47:54,329 You missed your last three therapy sessions. 1161 00:47:54,329 --> 00:47:55,706 - I know, Dr. Stroman. I'm so sorry. 1162 00:47:55,706 --> 00:47:58,792 I've just been working so hard on this. 1163 00:47:58,792 --> 00:48:01,128 - No. It's okay. It paid off. 1164 00:48:01,128 --> 00:48:02,462 It's a good read. 1165 00:48:02,462 --> 00:48:03,297 It's riveting. 1166 00:48:03,297 --> 00:48:04,131 - Really? 1167 00:48:04,131 --> 00:48:05,299 - Mm-hm. 1168 00:48:05,299 --> 00:48:06,675 I didn't think you had it in you. 1169 00:48:06,675 --> 00:48:08,176 - You didn't? 1170 00:48:08,176 --> 00:48:10,637 - Oh, well maybe that wasn't the best choice of words. But- 1171 00:48:10,637 --> 00:48:13,390 - No one's ever called my writing riveting before. 1172 00:48:13,390 --> 00:48:15,183 - You're still missing one thing. 1173 00:48:15,183 --> 00:48:17,519 - I followed all the guidelines to the letter- 1174 00:48:17,519 --> 00:48:18,896 - You are missing, Lynette. 1175 00:48:20,480 --> 00:48:21,899 True. 1176 00:48:21,899 --> 00:48:23,901 There's more of you in this draft in another drafts, 1177 00:48:23,901 --> 00:48:25,986 but you don't have a lot of skin in the game. 1178 00:48:27,237 --> 00:48:28,238 - What do you mean? 1179 00:48:30,157 --> 00:48:31,658 - "Why Beauty Kills"? Right? 1180 00:48:34,536 --> 00:48:37,205 "Perceptions of beauty have varied widely throughout history 1181 00:48:37,205 --> 00:48:39,750 and have served to maintain a lowered social status 1182 00:48:39,750 --> 00:48:42,836 among certain groups of women who were blah blah blah blah." 1183 00:48:42,836 --> 00:48:43,879 - But it's all true. 1184 00:48:43,879 --> 00:48:45,005 - Blah blah blah. 1185 00:48:45,005 --> 00:48:45,839 - That's all true! 1186 00:48:45,839 --> 00:48:47,007 - I know that. 1187 00:48:47,007 --> 00:48:48,550 I'm quite certain that every fact, 1188 00:48:48,550 --> 00:48:50,928 and every figure, and every graph, and chart, and quote, 1189 00:48:50,928 --> 00:48:53,347 and cross-reference is beyond reproach. 1190 00:48:53,347 --> 00:48:54,848 - Yes. Thank you. 1191 00:48:54,848 --> 00:48:56,934 - But you need to do one more thing. 1192 00:48:56,934 --> 00:48:57,768 - Okay. 1193 00:48:58,685 --> 00:48:59,519 What? 1194 00:49:01,021 --> 00:49:02,522 - I haven't the slightest. 1195 00:49:04,441 --> 00:49:07,027 This topic isn't about me. 1196 00:49:08,195 --> 00:49:09,529 Beauty doesn't kill men. 1197 00:49:10,906 --> 00:49:15,369 As a whole, this is not what resonates in a man's gut. 1198 00:49:15,369 --> 00:49:18,872 - I know. I just wish you guys understood. 1199 00:49:18,872 --> 00:49:20,958 It's so hard to make men understand 1200 00:49:20,958 --> 00:49:22,084 what it's like to actually be- 1201 00:49:22,084 --> 00:49:23,293 - [Stroman] Make us understand! 1202 00:49:23,293 --> 00:49:24,753 Show us. 1203 00:49:24,753 --> 00:49:28,048 Do something that scares you and then write about it. 1204 00:49:28,048 --> 00:49:29,716 - Something that scares me? 1205 00:49:29,716 --> 00:49:31,718 - I don't mean anything dangerous. 1206 00:49:31,718 --> 00:49:33,220 - So what? 1207 00:49:33,220 --> 00:49:35,806 Like, enter a tacky beauty pageant or something? 1208 00:49:36,723 --> 00:49:37,766 - Sure. Why not? 1209 00:49:37,766 --> 00:49:39,393 I think that might take too long 1210 00:49:39,393 --> 00:49:41,061 but you're on the right road. 1211 00:49:41,061 --> 00:49:42,729 - A wet T-shirt contest? 1212 00:49:42,729 --> 00:49:45,148 No, I wouldn't win. Nevermind. 1213 00:49:46,566 --> 00:49:48,944 - I'm not going to advise you to do that, okay? 1214 00:49:48,944 --> 00:49:50,737 - Get my picture taken? 1215 00:49:50,737 --> 00:49:52,322 - Exactly. 1216 00:49:52,322 --> 00:49:53,573 Pose for a photographer. 1217 00:49:54,741 --> 00:49:56,743 You don't have to spend a lot of money. 1218 00:49:56,743 --> 00:49:58,829 - Actually I know a guy. 1219 00:49:59,913 --> 00:50:03,083 (gentle music begins) 1220 00:50:08,588 --> 00:50:09,673 - You must be Lynette. 1221 00:50:09,673 --> 00:50:13,010 - And you must be stunning. 1222 00:50:13,010 --> 00:50:13,927 - I'm Gianna, 1223 00:50:13,927 --> 00:50:15,178 Ron's assistant. 1224 00:50:15,178 --> 00:50:16,471 I'll be helping you today. 1225 00:50:17,639 --> 00:50:19,599 - Um. I tried to take a crack at it 1226 00:50:19,599 --> 00:50:20,851 as you can see. 1227 00:50:22,769 --> 00:50:25,439 - Oh, aren't you adventurous? 1228 00:50:25,439 --> 00:50:28,358 - If anyone should be in front of the camera, it's you. 1229 00:50:29,443 --> 00:50:30,610 - Lindsey! 1230 00:50:30,610 --> 00:50:33,989 (gentle music continues) 1231 00:50:45,792 --> 00:50:47,044 - Lynette! 1232 00:50:47,044 --> 00:50:48,045 So glad you made it. 1233 00:50:49,296 --> 00:50:50,630 What made you change your mind? 1234 00:50:55,177 --> 00:50:56,803 - I still might change it. 1235 00:50:57,888 --> 00:50:59,806 - Whatever you're most comfortable with. 1236 00:51:00,807 --> 00:51:01,975 - These. 1237 00:51:01,975 --> 00:51:04,019 I'm comfortable with these. 1238 00:51:04,019 --> 00:51:05,729 - Outfits! 1239 00:51:05,729 --> 00:51:06,521 Great. 1240 00:51:09,149 --> 00:51:10,317 Show me what you got. 1241 00:51:10,317 --> 00:51:11,860 - Okay. So I've got brown. 1242 00:51:11,860 --> 00:51:14,154 I've got reddish brown, brownish red, 1243 00:51:14,154 --> 00:51:15,655 beige, I have brown. 1244 00:51:15,655 --> 00:51:16,990 I have reddish browns. I have- 1245 00:51:16,990 --> 00:51:19,493 - Nah, nah. I don't see those colors in you. 1246 00:51:19,493 --> 00:51:20,702 - I could be gray. 1247 00:51:20,702 --> 00:51:22,329 You never answered my question. 1248 00:51:22,329 --> 00:51:23,163 - Oh. 1249 00:51:23,163 --> 00:51:23,997 No tattoos. 1250 00:51:23,997 --> 00:51:25,499 I never had the guts. 1251 00:51:25,499 --> 00:51:26,666 - Not that. 1252 00:51:26,666 --> 00:51:28,668 What made you change your mind? 1253 00:51:28,668 --> 00:51:31,171 - About coming here? 1254 00:51:31,171 --> 00:51:33,673 - I asked you, I don't know how many times. 1255 00:51:33,673 --> 00:51:35,050 And you've always told me no. 1256 00:51:35,050 --> 00:51:37,677 And suddenly here you are. 1257 00:51:37,677 --> 00:51:38,678 - There I am. 1258 00:51:38,678 --> 00:51:40,514 Here I are. Am. 1259 00:51:40,514 --> 00:51:41,348 Yes. 1260 00:51:41,348 --> 00:51:43,100 So blue. 1261 00:51:43,100 --> 00:51:44,392 I like blue. 1262 00:51:44,392 --> 00:51:46,853 - Blue would look very nice on you. 1263 00:51:46,853 --> 00:51:48,772 - Or off of me. 1264 00:51:48,772 --> 00:51:50,524 - When I first saw you, 1265 00:51:50,524 --> 00:51:53,527 I thought, "I gotta get this girl on film." 1266 00:51:53,527 --> 00:51:54,277 - Oh. 1267 00:51:55,237 --> 00:51:56,696 - But there's no rush. 1268 00:51:56,696 --> 00:51:58,698 We don't even have to do this. 1269 00:51:58,698 --> 00:51:59,699 - Do what? 1270 00:51:59,699 --> 00:52:00,700 - Go all the way. 1271 00:52:02,119 --> 00:52:05,872 - If you want it, you can keep your clothes on. 1272 00:52:08,542 --> 00:52:10,418 - What if I don't want? 1273 00:52:11,461 --> 00:52:12,295 - Gi. 1274 00:52:16,216 --> 00:52:17,634 I'm going to load up my gear. 1275 00:52:20,428 --> 00:52:24,724 - So Lynette, let's start with shades of blue. 1276 00:52:26,226 --> 00:52:28,145 - Load up his gear? 1277 00:52:29,229 --> 00:52:30,564 - Put film in his camera. 1278 00:52:33,400 --> 00:52:34,734 - Or? 1279 00:52:34,734 --> 00:52:37,279 - Put batteries in his flash units. 1280 00:52:37,279 --> 00:52:38,113 - Or? 1281 00:52:39,239 --> 00:52:40,240 - That's all I got. 1282 00:52:41,741 --> 00:52:42,784 Don't worry. 1283 00:52:42,784 --> 00:52:44,661 He already has a girlfriend. 1284 00:52:44,661 --> 00:52:46,746 - Of course. Of course he does. Naturally. 1285 00:52:49,249 --> 00:52:50,500 What's her name? 1286 00:52:50,500 --> 00:52:53,336 - Um, Jocelyn, I think. 1287 00:52:55,130 --> 00:52:55,964 - Jessica? 1288 00:52:55,964 --> 00:52:57,174 - Jessica, that's it. 1289 00:52:59,593 --> 00:53:03,847 You know, people usually pay him for a session. 1290 00:53:04,806 --> 00:53:05,765 - They do? 1291 00:53:05,765 --> 00:53:08,268 - And his fees are insane. 1292 00:53:08,268 --> 00:53:10,520 So if he's paying you- 1293 00:53:10,520 --> 00:53:12,439 - He's out of his mind. 1294 00:53:12,439 --> 00:53:15,025 - It means he thinks you're spectacular. 1295 00:53:17,944 --> 00:53:19,779 - I was always afraid of blue. 1296 00:53:19,779 --> 00:53:21,114 - Really? 1297 00:53:21,114 --> 00:53:22,616 I think it looks great on you. 1298 00:53:23,825 --> 00:53:27,662 - Do you love her cheekbones? 1299 00:53:27,662 --> 00:53:28,496 - Yes. 1300 00:53:30,373 --> 00:53:33,210 (camera shutters) 1301 00:53:33,210 --> 00:53:35,295 (gentle music continues) 1302 00:53:35,295 --> 00:53:36,463 (camera shutters) 1303 00:53:36,463 --> 00:53:38,798 - So (clears throat) how's Jessica? 1304 00:53:40,133 --> 00:53:41,384 (camera shutters) 1305 00:53:41,384 --> 00:53:42,469 - She makes me laugh. 1306 00:53:43,553 --> 00:53:44,638 - That's one of her talents. 1307 00:53:44,638 --> 00:53:47,057 (camera shutters) 1308 00:53:47,057 --> 00:53:48,475 - Is it true that one time 1309 00:53:48,475 --> 00:53:50,810 you let her use your apartment for a date with me? 1310 00:53:51,811 --> 00:53:53,313 - Oh my God. 1311 00:53:53,313 --> 00:53:55,857 You saw my hideous apartment? And you were still with her? 1312 00:53:55,857 --> 00:54:00,320 - I loved the apartment, but I knew she didn't live there. 1313 00:54:01,988 --> 00:54:02,822 (camera shutters) 1314 00:54:02,822 --> 00:54:04,324 - What gave it away? 1315 00:54:04,324 --> 00:54:06,326 - She picked up a recorder and held it like this. 1316 00:54:08,328 --> 00:54:11,248 And she didn't even know what it was called. 1317 00:54:11,248 --> 00:54:15,418 And then she couldn't identify anything in her apartment. 1318 00:54:15,418 --> 00:54:17,420 - She's got different priorities. 1319 00:54:19,172 --> 00:54:23,343 - I heard about the breakup. You three. I'm sorry. 1320 00:54:23,343 --> 00:54:24,928 - Oh, I hope you don't think 1321 00:54:24,928 --> 00:54:26,513 this is some sort of revenge thing 1322 00:54:26,513 --> 00:54:28,098 because that's not. That's not why- 1323 00:54:28,098 --> 00:54:28,932 - [Ron] No. 1324 00:54:28,932 --> 00:54:29,766 - [Lynette] Because- 1325 00:54:29,766 --> 00:54:30,600 - I know. 1326 00:54:32,018 --> 00:54:33,353 I don't even have to tell her about the session 1327 00:54:33,353 --> 00:54:34,521 if you don't want me to. 1328 00:54:35,355 --> 00:54:38,858 (gentle music continues) 1329 00:54:40,193 --> 00:54:41,569 Oh. 1330 00:54:41,569 --> 00:54:42,404 Stunning. 1331 00:54:43,446 --> 00:54:46,408 (camera shutters) 1332 00:54:46,408 --> 00:54:48,451 (camera shutters) 1333 00:54:48,451 --> 00:54:50,370 - You look phenomenal, Lynette. 1334 00:54:51,871 --> 00:54:53,540 - I call this look "Noble Regret". 1335 00:54:57,919 --> 00:54:59,796 Let's get down to business, shall we? 1336 00:55:05,385 --> 00:55:08,221 (camera shutters) 1337 00:55:12,976 --> 00:55:15,645 (phone ringing) 1338 00:55:16,563 --> 00:55:17,480 - Barking Parrot Development, 1339 00:55:17,480 --> 00:55:18,398 this is Jessica speaking. 1340 00:55:18,398 --> 00:55:19,566 How may I direct your call? 1341 00:55:23,653 --> 00:55:25,613 Mr. Carlyle? I have Mr. Ashton for you. 1342 00:55:31,244 --> 00:55:35,081 (tense music begins) 1343 00:55:35,081 --> 00:55:38,251 (keyboard clicking) 1344 00:55:54,434 --> 00:55:56,853 (phone beeping) 1345 00:55:56,853 --> 00:55:58,938 (phone dialing) 1346 00:55:58,938 --> 00:56:00,648 - [Voicemail] Hi. If you're mailing- 1347 00:56:01,941 --> 00:56:03,610 - [Answering machine] No new messages. 1348 00:56:05,028 --> 00:56:06,112 No new messages. 1349 00:56:08,281 --> 00:56:09,616 No new messages. 1350 00:56:11,451 --> 00:56:12,494 No new messages. 1351 00:56:15,205 --> 00:56:17,499 (sighs) 1352 00:56:17,499 --> 00:56:20,502 (soft music begins) 1353 00:56:21,378 --> 00:56:22,796 - Oh my God, she'll love that. 1354 00:56:22,796 --> 00:56:23,713 - Really? 1355 00:56:23,713 --> 00:56:25,131 - No, that's really great. 1356 00:56:25,131 --> 00:56:26,132 - I don't know. I don't think it's, like, symmetrical. 1357 00:56:26,132 --> 00:56:27,634 - I love what you're doing here. 1358 00:56:27,634 --> 00:56:28,468 - Are you sure? 1359 00:56:28,468 --> 00:56:29,302 - That's beautiful. 1360 00:56:29,302 --> 00:56:30,136 - I feel like. 1361 00:56:30,136 --> 00:56:30,970 - Aw. 1362 00:56:30,970 --> 00:56:34,474 (gentle music continues) 1363 00:56:37,977 --> 00:56:40,647 (phone beeping) 1364 00:56:42,690 --> 00:56:45,235 (phone dialing) 1365 00:56:45,235 --> 00:56:48,488 (answering machine speaks indistinctly) 1366 00:56:48,488 --> 00:56:50,031 - [Ron] Hey Jess, just a quick message 1367 00:56:50,031 --> 00:56:52,826 to tell you how happy you made me last night. 1368 00:56:52,826 --> 00:56:55,161 I can't wait to see you. 1369 00:56:55,161 --> 00:56:55,995 I love you. 1370 00:56:55,995 --> 00:56:59,207 (slow music continues) 1371 00:57:18,351 --> 00:57:21,354 (phone beeping) 1372 00:57:21,354 --> 00:57:22,939 (phone dialing) 1373 00:57:22,939 --> 00:57:24,441 - [Voicemail] Hi. 1374 00:57:24,441 --> 00:57:27,193 - [Answering Machine] No new messages. 1375 00:57:27,193 --> 00:57:28,528 No new messages. 1376 00:57:29,946 --> 00:57:30,947 No new mess- 1377 00:57:38,037 --> 00:57:39,581 - In spite of all the new traditions 1378 00:57:39,581 --> 00:57:42,041 that Lynette and Candy were inventing together, 1379 00:57:42,041 --> 00:57:43,710 they still missed an old one. 1380 00:57:43,710 --> 00:57:45,211 So about six months later 1381 00:57:45,211 --> 00:57:47,797 they revived their monthly dinner party. 1382 00:57:47,797 --> 00:57:50,383 But with seating only for two. 1383 00:57:50,383 --> 00:57:53,803 (gentle music continues) 1384 00:57:55,472 --> 00:57:58,224 (doorbell rings) 1385 00:58:00,602 --> 00:58:01,603 - Look at you. 1386 00:58:01,603 --> 00:58:02,896 My God. 1387 00:58:04,564 --> 00:58:05,482 - Oh. 1388 00:58:05,482 --> 00:58:06,733 - Oh. 1389 00:58:06,733 --> 00:58:08,443 I'm offering wine to a pregnant woman. 1390 00:58:08,443 --> 00:58:09,903 I'm so sorry. 1391 00:58:09,903 --> 00:58:12,739 - Oh my gosh. I love your outfit. 1392 00:58:12,739 --> 00:58:15,074 You PhDs are smart dressers. 1393 00:58:15,074 --> 00:58:16,910 - Oh, dinner smells great. 1394 00:58:16,910 --> 00:58:21,915 - Well cooking for three, uh, two is much more fun than one. 1395 00:58:23,249 --> 00:58:25,335 - And it's not like you're cooking a bunch of food to eat 1396 00:58:25,335 --> 00:58:28,004 for lunch all week out of those Tupperware thingies. 1397 00:58:28,004 --> 00:58:28,922 - I hate that. 1398 00:58:29,797 --> 00:58:30,632 - Do you miss her? 1399 00:58:30,632 --> 00:58:31,633 - Who, Jess? 1400 00:58:31,633 --> 00:58:33,092 Of course not. 1401 00:58:33,092 --> 00:58:36,012 I mean, sure I wonder how she's doing, but I don't miss her. 1402 00:58:36,012 --> 00:58:37,639 - Yeah. 1403 00:58:37,639 --> 00:58:38,598 - Do you miss her? 1404 00:58:38,598 --> 00:58:39,599 - Me? No. 1405 00:58:40,475 --> 00:58:42,644 Except sometimes. 1406 00:58:42,644 --> 00:58:43,478 - Yeah. 1407 00:58:43,478 --> 00:58:44,812 Sometimes. 1408 00:58:44,812 --> 00:58:45,939 Excuse me a second, hon. 1409 00:58:45,939 --> 00:58:46,773 - Yeah. 1410 00:58:55,949 --> 00:58:58,660 (phone beeping) 1411 00:58:58,660 --> 00:59:00,203 (phone dialing) 1412 00:59:00,203 --> 00:59:01,704 - [Answering Machine] You have no messages. 1413 00:59:01,704 --> 00:59:03,039 Thank you for your call. 1414 00:59:03,039 --> 00:59:03,873 Goodbye. 1415 00:59:08,044 --> 00:59:09,212 (sighs) 1416 00:59:09,212 --> 00:59:11,172 - So you have another month still? 1417 00:59:11,172 --> 00:59:12,632 - Two weeks. 1418 00:59:12,632 --> 00:59:14,342 So you guys won't have to rush me to the hospital guys. 1419 00:59:14,342 --> 00:59:15,718 - Us guys? 1420 00:59:15,718 --> 00:59:18,304 - You. You won't have to rush me. 1421 00:59:18,304 --> 00:59:20,306 (phone ringing) 1422 00:59:20,306 --> 00:59:21,140 - Oh, I'll get it. 1423 00:59:21,140 --> 00:59:21,975 Something in the oven? 1424 00:59:21,975 --> 00:59:23,059 - Just the chicken. 1425 00:59:23,059 --> 00:59:23,893 - Okay. 1426 00:59:26,020 --> 00:59:26,854 (gentle music begins) 1427 00:59:26,854 --> 00:59:29,649 (phone beeping) 1428 00:59:29,649 --> 00:59:32,318 (phone dialing) 1429 00:59:34,237 --> 00:59:35,697 - [Jessica] Hi. If you're male and you're cute, 1430 00:59:35,697 --> 00:59:37,991 and you're looking for Jess, you may be in luck. 1431 00:59:39,325 --> 00:59:41,536 - Oh, were you calling somebody? 1432 00:59:41,536 --> 00:59:42,662 - No. 1433 00:59:42,662 --> 00:59:43,496 Maybe. 1434 00:59:43,496 --> 00:59:44,330 No. 1435 00:59:48,918 --> 00:59:50,670 - Why is there all this extra food? 1436 00:59:52,839 --> 00:59:54,048 - Don't you sometimes wish 1437 00:59:54,048 --> 00:59:56,009 she would just call up and apologize? 1438 00:59:57,051 --> 00:59:59,178 (laughs) 1439 01:00:01,097 --> 01:00:03,182 - It's been six months. 1440 01:00:04,350 --> 01:00:05,852 Do you think she misses us? 1441 01:00:07,186 --> 01:00:09,022 - I thought I was the naive one. 1442 01:00:11,566 --> 01:00:14,193 - Did you like all our sex talks? 1443 01:00:14,193 --> 01:00:15,695 - Jess sure did. 1444 01:00:15,695 --> 01:00:19,073 - Mm. But did we ever talk about, like, love and marriage? 1445 01:00:19,073 --> 01:00:22,535 - We tried. But it always turned back to sex. 1446 01:00:22,535 --> 01:00:24,370 - Should we go to a nightclub? 1447 01:00:24,370 --> 01:00:26,539 - I don't actually enjoy nightclubs. 1448 01:00:26,539 --> 01:00:28,875 And I don't think Beanie would either. 1449 01:00:29,959 --> 01:00:30,960 (siren wailing) 1450 01:00:30,960 --> 01:00:31,878 - Ooh. 1451 01:00:31,878 --> 01:00:32,712 I think that's mine. 1452 01:00:32,712 --> 01:00:33,796 I'll be right back. 1453 01:00:36,132 --> 01:00:38,551 (siren wailing) 1454 01:00:38,551 --> 01:00:41,721 (gentle music begins) 1455 01:00:46,893 --> 01:00:49,228 (phone beeping) 1456 01:00:49,228 --> 01:00:51,898 (phone dialing) 1457 01:00:53,316 --> 01:00:54,275 - [Jessica] You've reached the desk of Jessica Marshall 1458 01:00:54,275 --> 01:00:55,818 at Barking Parrot Development. 1459 01:00:55,818 --> 01:00:56,611 I'm either on- 1460 01:01:01,449 --> 01:01:02,950 - You called Jess, didn't you? 1461 01:01:04,827 --> 01:01:05,912 - So did you. 1462 01:01:06,746 --> 01:01:07,580 - No, I didn't. 1463 01:01:19,008 --> 01:01:20,635 - I kind of miss her. 1464 01:01:20,635 --> 01:01:22,929 - After what she said to us? 1465 01:01:22,929 --> 01:01:24,931 - Damn it, Lynnie. She was right. 1466 01:01:24,931 --> 01:01:27,141 - That she's Miss Beauty, I'm Miss Brains, 1467 01:01:27,141 --> 01:01:28,935 and you are Miss Personality? 1468 01:01:28,935 --> 01:01:30,353 - She is a beauty. 1469 01:01:30,353 --> 01:01:31,270 - So are you. 1470 01:01:31,270 --> 01:01:32,271 - And so are you. 1471 01:01:32,271 --> 01:01:33,106 - No I'm not. 1472 01:01:33,106 --> 01:01:34,357 - And no I'm not. 1473 01:01:34,357 --> 01:01:35,650 So we agree with Jess on that point. 1474 01:01:36,776 --> 01:01:38,027 - What? 1475 01:01:38,027 --> 01:01:40,196 - I think that she's beautiful and I'm not. 1476 01:01:40,196 --> 01:01:42,365 You think that she's beautiful and you're not. 1477 01:01:42,365 --> 01:01:43,991 And she thinks that she's beautiful- 1478 01:01:43,991 --> 01:01:45,660 - And we're not. 1479 01:01:45,660 --> 01:01:47,453 - She's not allowed to think that? 1480 01:01:47,453 --> 01:01:49,288 - She can't just say it. 1481 01:01:49,288 --> 01:01:50,707 - Anyway, three votes for Jessica, 1482 01:01:50,707 --> 01:01:51,958 one for you and one for me. 1483 01:01:51,958 --> 01:01:53,126 So she's right on that one. 1484 01:01:53,126 --> 01:01:54,127 - [Lynnie] But- 1485 01:01:54,127 --> 01:01:55,795 - Item number two: your brains. 1486 01:01:55,795 --> 01:01:57,296 - We all have brains. 1487 01:01:57,296 --> 01:01:59,132 - But only one of us has a PhD. 1488 01:01:59,132 --> 01:02:00,216 So she's right again. 1489 01:02:00,216 --> 01:02:01,801 - Candy, come on. 1490 01:02:01,801 --> 01:02:03,970 - Sometimes people tell me I have a nice personality. 1491 01:02:03,970 --> 01:02:05,638 - You have a wonderful personality. 1492 01:02:05,638 --> 01:02:07,140 - So Jess got all three right. 1493 01:02:07,140 --> 01:02:09,809 And if she didn't, we share are acting like she did. 1494 01:02:09,809 --> 01:02:11,644 - God, we are. 1495 01:02:11,644 --> 01:02:13,146 - Another thing. 1496 01:02:13,146 --> 01:02:14,647 Did you see what she burned in her oven that night? 1497 01:02:14,647 --> 01:02:16,357 - No, but it sure stank. 1498 01:02:16,357 --> 01:02:17,900 Like, sickly sweet. 1499 01:02:17,900 --> 01:02:19,902 - Like burned Devil's Food cake. 1500 01:02:19,902 --> 01:02:24,323 She baked us a cake. Tried to. And failed. 1501 01:02:24,323 --> 01:02:25,491 - That was stupid. 1502 01:02:25,491 --> 01:02:26,743 She doesn't know how to bake. 1503 01:02:26,743 --> 01:02:28,411 - Trying something new is stupid? 1504 01:02:28,411 --> 01:02:29,662 Really, Lynette? 1505 01:02:29,662 --> 01:02:31,164 - She lied to us about all that food 1506 01:02:31,164 --> 01:02:33,166 she cooked that night. Remember? 1507 01:02:33,166 --> 01:02:34,709 All the food from the restaurant. 1508 01:02:34,709 --> 01:02:36,210 She shouldn't have lied to us like that. 1509 01:02:36,210 --> 01:02:37,503 That really hurts, 1510 01:02:37,503 --> 01:02:38,671 being lied to. 1511 01:02:38,671 --> 01:02:41,007 - Failing can hurt too. 1512 01:02:41,007 --> 01:02:42,842 I want to send her a fax. 1513 01:02:42,842 --> 01:02:43,843 - Wait, are you sure? 1514 01:02:45,386 --> 01:02:48,014 - Dear Jessica. 1515 01:02:48,014 --> 01:02:50,767 - Should we say "Dear Jessica"? 1516 01:02:50,767 --> 01:02:51,851 - Jessica dearest. 1517 01:02:53,853 --> 01:02:54,937 O Jessica. 1518 01:02:54,937 --> 01:02:56,105 - Like a prayer? 1519 01:02:56,105 --> 01:02:57,440 - Like a poem. 1520 01:02:57,440 --> 01:02:59,233 - She'll think we're praying to her. 1521 01:02:59,233 --> 01:03:00,860 Say Jessica. No "Dear". 1522 01:03:04,363 --> 01:03:05,782 Okay. What do we have so far? 1523 01:03:07,116 --> 01:03:08,743 - Jessica. 1524 01:03:08,743 --> 01:03:12,872 - Jessica, we wish to speak with you. Comply. 1525 01:03:16,042 --> 01:03:18,085 - How about "We need to speak with you."? 1526 01:03:18,085 --> 01:03:19,712 - I don't need anything from her. 1527 01:03:20,755 --> 01:03:22,215 - I'm going to go see her. 1528 01:03:22,215 --> 01:03:23,716 - Are you crazy? 1529 01:03:23,716 --> 01:03:26,219 - This note is inviting her to come see us, I think. 1530 01:03:26,219 --> 01:03:27,386 - Yes. 1531 01:03:27,386 --> 01:03:29,764 Someday. In a controlled environment. 1532 01:03:29,764 --> 01:03:30,932 - I'll bring her back here. 1533 01:03:30,932 --> 01:03:32,141 All the control you want. 1534 01:03:32,141 --> 01:03:34,310 - Okay. Just try this. 1535 01:03:34,310 --> 01:03:36,979 "Jessica, please meet with us 1536 01:03:36,979 --> 01:03:39,440 before our lives continue too far 1537 01:03:39,440 --> 01:03:42,068 down separate and disparate paths." 1538 01:03:42,068 --> 01:03:44,570 - Don't separate and disparate mean the same thing? 1539 01:03:44,570 --> 01:03:46,239 - Disparate means dissimilar. 1540 01:03:46,239 --> 01:03:48,825 And separate means not touching. 1541 01:03:48,825 --> 01:03:49,909 - Does Jess know that? 1542 01:03:50,910 --> 01:03:52,328 - She went to college. 1543 01:03:52,328 --> 01:03:53,329 Occasionally. 1544 01:03:53,329 --> 01:03:55,331 (giggling) 1545 01:03:55,331 --> 01:03:56,916 - Should we send it to her work? 1546 01:03:56,916 --> 01:03:58,251 - She has a car fax. 1547 01:04:00,837 --> 01:04:02,839 (sighs) 1548 01:04:06,592 --> 01:04:07,927 - This is good. 1549 01:04:07,927 --> 01:04:09,303 Maybe in a few months we'll be back together 1550 01:04:09,303 --> 01:04:10,596 having our monthly dinner. 1551 01:04:10,596 --> 01:04:12,181 - Taking our monthly picture. 1552 01:04:12,181 --> 01:04:14,433 - Eating our monthly Devil's Food cake. 1553 01:04:15,601 --> 01:04:17,603 Jess will make some thoughtless comment. 1554 01:04:17,603 --> 01:04:19,522 - And we'll be ready to kill her. 1555 01:04:20,439 --> 01:04:21,274 - Oh my God. 1556 01:04:21,274 --> 01:04:22,108 - Did we get it? 1557 01:04:22,108 --> 01:04:22,984 - A piece is missing. 1558 01:04:22,984 --> 01:04:23,776 - Was there anything on it? 1559 01:04:23,776 --> 01:04:25,152 - Just one word. 1560 01:04:25,152 --> 01:04:25,987 - Which word? 1561 01:04:27,029 --> 01:04:28,698 - Disparate. 1562 01:04:28,698 --> 01:04:29,532 - Uh-oh. 1563 01:04:30,533 --> 01:04:31,492 - Hey, you two! 1564 01:04:32,785 --> 01:04:34,620 I was just in the neighborhood and I got your fax. 1565 01:04:34,620 --> 01:04:36,122 Isn't that wild? 1566 01:04:36,122 --> 01:04:37,123 What fax? 1567 01:04:37,123 --> 01:04:38,291 - You're so cute. 1568 01:04:38,291 --> 01:04:39,959 The one where you said you're desperate. 1569 01:04:39,959 --> 01:04:40,793 - Disparate. 1570 01:04:40,793 --> 01:04:41,836 - Exactly. 1571 01:04:41,836 --> 01:04:43,796 - Disparate means different. 1572 01:04:43,796 --> 01:04:45,298 - Oh, I sure hope you feel different. 1573 01:04:45,298 --> 01:04:47,174 You were so weird last time I saw you. 1574 01:04:47,174 --> 01:04:48,009 - No. 1575 01:04:48,009 --> 01:04:49,135 Unrelated. 1576 01:04:49,135 --> 01:04:50,511 - But we're friends, 1577 01:04:50,511 --> 01:04:52,388 so we are related like family. 1578 01:04:52,388 --> 01:04:53,806 - Distinct. 1579 01:04:53,806 --> 01:04:54,682 - Oh, our love is so strong 1580 01:04:54,682 --> 01:04:55,892 it will never go distinct. 1581 01:04:55,892 --> 01:04:57,351 - No, it means that- 1582 01:04:57,351 --> 01:04:58,728 - Anyway, none of that matters 1583 01:04:58,728 --> 01:05:01,397 because I totally forgive you. 1584 01:05:01,397 --> 01:05:02,648 - For what? 1585 01:05:02,648 --> 01:05:03,858 - For all the mean things you said. 1586 01:05:03,858 --> 01:05:05,151 - What? 1587 01:05:05,151 --> 01:05:08,905 - All I remember is we were having a nice talk 1588 01:05:08,905 --> 01:05:10,865 and suddenly you were furious. 1589 01:05:10,865 --> 01:05:13,075 - You insulted us. 1590 01:05:13,075 --> 01:05:14,577 - Oh, you mean my little comment 1591 01:05:14,577 --> 01:05:16,662 about beauty, brains and personality? 1592 01:05:16,662 --> 01:05:17,496 - See, Lynette. 1593 01:05:17,496 --> 01:05:18,706 She didn't even mean it. 1594 01:05:18,706 --> 01:05:20,541 - Oh, I meant it, but- 1595 01:05:20,541 --> 01:05:21,834 - We didn't send anything. 1596 01:05:23,336 --> 01:05:24,503 That was a mistake. 1597 01:05:26,881 --> 01:05:28,341 - Desperate. 1598 01:05:28,341 --> 01:05:30,509 So dramatic. Who knows what you two are capable of? 1599 01:05:30,509 --> 01:05:33,054 - So what were you doing in the neighborhood, Jess? 1600 01:05:34,013 --> 01:05:36,515 - I was going to the post office. 1601 01:05:36,515 --> 01:05:38,559 - It closes at 5:00. 1602 01:05:38,559 --> 01:05:40,353 - Well, there's this really cute little dress shop. 1603 01:05:40,353 --> 01:05:42,104 You know, it's just around the corner. 1604 01:05:42,104 --> 01:05:43,022 - [Candy] I know the shop. 1605 01:05:43,022 --> 01:05:43,856 - It's closed. 1606 01:05:45,066 --> 01:05:47,193 What were you doing in Candy's neighborhood? 1607 01:05:47,193 --> 01:05:51,364 - I was headed to... 1608 01:05:53,616 --> 01:05:55,368 (sighs) 1609 01:05:55,368 --> 01:05:56,202 Okay. 1610 01:05:56,202 --> 01:05:57,703 I'm really sorry 1611 01:05:57,703 --> 01:06:00,373 that I said you have a fabulous personality. 1612 01:06:01,791 --> 01:06:05,962 And I'm really sorry that I said you're a genius. 1613 01:06:05,962 --> 01:06:09,215 - How about sorry for saying, "You two aren't beautiful."? 1614 01:06:09,215 --> 01:06:10,883 - I never said that. 1615 01:06:10,883 --> 01:06:12,093 - You said- 1616 01:06:12,093 --> 01:06:14,762 - I said that out of the three of us, 1617 01:06:14,762 --> 01:06:17,098 I am the most beautiful. 1618 01:06:17,098 --> 01:06:18,766 - And you agree, Lynnie. 1619 01:06:18,766 --> 01:06:20,893 - I agree that Jess is more beautiful than me 1620 01:06:20,893 --> 01:06:24,271 but I do not agree that she is more beautiful than Candy. 1621 01:06:24,271 --> 01:06:27,066 - Lynette, if I agree with you, Jess hates me. 1622 01:06:27,066 --> 01:06:29,235 And Jess, if I agree with you, Lynette hates me. 1623 01:06:29,235 --> 01:06:30,820 So I'm not gonna say anything. 1624 01:06:30,820 --> 01:06:32,780 - She hurt you just as bad as she hurt me. 1625 01:06:32,780 --> 01:06:35,741 - Oh. I don't even remember. 1626 01:06:35,741 --> 01:06:37,493 - But you guys, I have proof. 1627 01:06:37,493 --> 01:06:38,786 - Proof that you're beautiful? 1628 01:06:38,786 --> 01:06:39,662 - Yes! 1629 01:06:40,621 --> 01:06:41,831 - I remember now. 1630 01:06:41,831 --> 01:06:42,665 - Mm-hm. 1631 01:06:42,665 --> 01:06:44,417 Okay. I have proof too. 1632 01:06:44,417 --> 01:06:46,085 What does proof prove? 1633 01:06:46,919 --> 01:06:48,254 - What's your proof? 1634 01:06:48,254 --> 01:06:49,296 - Well, look at her. 1635 01:06:50,756 --> 01:06:52,341 - She looks like always. 1636 01:06:52,341 --> 01:06:53,300 Who are you wearing anyway? 1637 01:06:53,300 --> 01:06:54,343 Laura Ashley? 1638 01:06:55,594 --> 01:06:59,265 I, on the other hand, have this. 1639 01:07:00,266 --> 01:07:02,101 - Oh my God, Jess. 1640 01:07:02,101 --> 01:07:03,853 It's a boulder. 1641 01:07:03,853 --> 01:07:04,770 - Is that from Ron? 1642 01:07:05,688 --> 01:07:07,273 - Wait, you know Ron? 1643 01:07:07,273 --> 01:07:08,941 - You and I met him the same night. 1644 01:07:08,941 --> 01:07:11,110 - He lets you call him Ron? 1645 01:07:11,110 --> 01:07:12,695 Did you sleep with him? 1646 01:07:12,695 --> 01:07:13,821 - No. 1647 01:07:13,821 --> 01:07:15,031 No. 1648 01:07:15,031 --> 01:07:17,616 - Then why does he let you call him Ron? 1649 01:07:18,784 --> 01:07:21,787 - We talk sometimes about photography. 1650 01:07:23,456 --> 01:07:24,957 - Wait, who's Ron? 1651 01:07:24,957 --> 01:07:25,958 - Oh, he's my dude. 1652 01:07:25,958 --> 01:07:27,168 My man. 1653 01:07:27,168 --> 01:07:29,045 He's like this rich and famous photog. 1654 01:07:29,045 --> 01:07:29,879 - Well what did he take? 1655 01:07:29,879 --> 01:07:31,630 Like nature pictures? 1656 01:07:31,630 --> 01:07:33,299 - They're natural all right. 1657 01:07:33,299 --> 01:07:34,633 Very beautiful. 1658 01:07:34,633 --> 01:07:38,971 - Wait, did he take pictures of you? 1659 01:07:38,971 --> 01:07:40,139 - A couple. 1660 01:07:40,139 --> 01:07:41,849 - How could you afford him? 1661 01:07:41,849 --> 01:07:44,560 - What did you mean by natural? 1662 01:07:44,560 --> 01:07:46,145 - I think you know what I mean. 1663 01:07:47,813 --> 01:07:49,482 - You posed naked? 1664 01:07:51,067 --> 01:07:53,486 - What did he do when you started tearing off your clothes? 1665 01:07:53,486 --> 01:07:55,154 - He brought it up at the party 1666 01:07:55,154 --> 01:07:57,490 and I was curious. 1667 01:07:57,490 --> 01:07:58,824 - Curious? 1668 01:07:58,824 --> 01:08:01,327 Like sexy French coming-of-age movie curious? 1669 01:08:02,495 --> 01:08:04,330 - I thought you don't watch foreign films. 1670 01:08:04,330 --> 01:08:06,332 - Oh, French isn't foreign. It's trendy. 1671 01:08:06,332 --> 01:08:07,249 - Why didn't you tell me 1672 01:08:07,249 --> 01:08:08,709 somebody asked you to pose nude? 1673 01:08:08,709 --> 01:08:10,169 - I thought maybe he was drunk. 1674 01:08:10,169 --> 01:08:11,879 And no sex was involved. 1675 01:08:12,838 --> 01:08:14,715 I just wanted to feel sexy. 1676 01:08:15,883 --> 01:08:18,177 I've been celibate for three years. 1677 01:08:18,177 --> 01:08:21,013 - You told us you were abstaining. 1678 01:08:21,013 --> 01:08:23,849 - Don't you two ever wanna feel sexy? 1679 01:08:23,849 --> 01:08:25,684 - Oh, I am sexy. 1680 01:08:25,684 --> 01:08:27,561 - I always feel cutesy. 1681 01:08:27,561 --> 01:08:29,688 Anyways, Lynette, I'm shocked. 1682 01:08:29,688 --> 01:08:31,232 - They're beautiful pictures. 1683 01:08:31,232 --> 01:08:33,859 - You were so critical of my job at Curvees 1684 01:08:33,859 --> 01:08:36,695 and then you just go and bare it all for the camera. 1685 01:08:36,695 --> 01:08:37,780 - Yeah! 1686 01:08:37,780 --> 01:08:39,573 - I didn't criticize you. 1687 01:08:39,573 --> 01:08:41,075 - You said I look good in tiny shorts 1688 01:08:41,075 --> 01:08:42,535 and a clingy a T-shirt. 1689 01:08:42,535 --> 01:08:44,036 - That's criticism? 1690 01:08:44,036 --> 01:08:45,246 - Of course it is. 1691 01:08:45,246 --> 01:08:48,374 Candy, she's hard on me too. 1692 01:08:48,374 --> 01:08:49,375 - Sure it was critical 1693 01:08:49,375 --> 01:08:50,209 coming from. 1694 01:08:51,710 --> 01:08:52,753 - Wanna see them? 1695 01:08:52,753 --> 01:08:53,963 - The pictures? 1696 01:08:53,963 --> 01:08:56,257 - He gave me a whole set. Wanna see? 1697 01:08:56,257 --> 01:08:57,716 - Absolutely not! 1698 01:08:57,716 --> 01:08:58,884 That's disgusting. 1699 01:08:58,884 --> 01:08:59,718 - Sure. 1700 01:09:08,144 --> 01:09:10,646 - Lynette, I can't believe you sold out like that. 1701 01:09:11,814 --> 01:09:13,983 - Oh, I love this one with the red scarf. 1702 01:09:13,983 --> 01:09:15,651 - I went a little wild there. 1703 01:09:17,570 --> 01:09:19,113 - Lynnie, these are gorgeous. 1704 01:09:19,113 --> 01:09:21,824 And the lighting, it's like straight out of a magazine. 1705 01:09:21,824 --> 01:09:23,617 - Can I have some copies so I can send them to your mom? 1706 01:09:23,617 --> 01:09:24,910 - She already has a set. 1707 01:09:25,911 --> 01:09:27,580 Look at these stuffed animals. 1708 01:09:27,580 --> 01:09:28,789 - Oh my God. 1709 01:09:28,789 --> 01:09:30,749 - Your dad is going to have a heart attack. 1710 01:09:30,749 --> 01:09:34,253 - I got asked to pose for the "Girls of Curvees" calendar. 1711 01:09:34,253 --> 01:09:36,422 But I said no. 1712 01:09:36,422 --> 01:09:38,174 - No, you should have done it. 1713 01:09:38,174 --> 01:09:39,925 - Six months ago you wouldn't have said that. 1714 01:09:39,925 --> 01:09:41,427 - Yeah! 1715 01:09:41,427 --> 01:09:42,595 - Probably not. 1716 01:09:42,595 --> 01:09:44,597 - What? Now that you're all Miss Nude 1717 01:09:44,597 --> 01:09:46,849 you're like everyone take it off. 1718 01:09:46,849 --> 01:09:48,267 - When did you try out? 1719 01:09:48,267 --> 01:09:49,685 - About a month ago. 1720 01:09:49,685 --> 01:09:52,146 I sent them some pre-pregnancy swimsuit photos 1721 01:09:52,146 --> 01:09:55,649 and they made me an offer but I turned them down. 1722 01:09:55,649 --> 01:09:56,817 I thought you'd be proud. 1723 01:09:56,817 --> 01:09:59,612 - Wait, you got an offer to pose 1724 01:09:59,612 --> 01:10:01,614 for the "Girls of Curvees" calendar? 1725 01:10:01,614 --> 01:10:02,948 - Of course she did. 1726 01:10:02,948 --> 01:10:04,283 - But you're pregnant! 1727 01:10:04,283 --> 01:10:05,784 - I won't always be. 1728 01:10:05,784 --> 01:10:06,869 - You look too young. 1729 01:10:06,869 --> 01:10:07,953 - That's a bad thing? 1730 01:10:08,954 --> 01:10:11,040 I am proud of you, honey. 1731 01:10:11,040 --> 01:10:13,292 - I can't believe you both got asked to pose. 1732 01:10:15,628 --> 01:10:18,339 - What girl doesn't like to have her picture taken? 1733 01:10:18,339 --> 01:10:21,008 It's natural to want to feel beautiful. 1734 01:10:21,008 --> 01:10:22,301 But Candy was too smart 1735 01:10:22,301 --> 01:10:24,470 to let anyone take advantage of her. 1736 01:10:28,891 --> 01:10:31,143 (knocking) 1737 01:10:33,145 --> 01:10:34,647 - Miss Waterman? 1738 01:10:34,647 --> 01:10:36,857 - How do you do, Mr. Weems? 1739 01:10:36,857 --> 01:10:38,901 (laughs) 1740 01:10:38,901 --> 01:10:41,987 Oh, I was told the company was okay with my pregnancy. 1741 01:10:41,987 --> 01:10:43,364 - Uh. 1742 01:10:43,364 --> 01:10:45,157 Yeah. As long as you get back to that nice trim figure 1743 01:10:45,157 --> 01:10:46,992 we saw in your test photos. 1744 01:10:46,992 --> 01:10:47,826 - Of course. 1745 01:10:51,580 --> 01:10:54,416 - So, have you signed the agreement? 1746 01:10:54,416 --> 01:10:56,877 - I'm curious about the word repurposing. 1747 01:10:56,877 --> 01:10:58,837 - Oh, that's just a technical term. 1748 01:10:58,837 --> 01:11:00,756 Nothing to worry about. 1749 01:11:00,756 --> 01:11:03,592 - This agreement would allow the company to reuse my photos? 1750 01:11:03,592 --> 01:11:07,012 - Well, yes, but we almost never do that. 1751 01:11:07,012 --> 01:11:10,224 Our customers prefer fresh girls each year. 1752 01:11:11,183 --> 01:11:12,685 - I understand you also put out 1753 01:11:12,685 --> 01:11:14,353 Wild Animals magazine, right? 1754 01:11:14,353 --> 01:11:15,521 - Yes. 1755 01:11:15,521 --> 01:11:18,440 - So my photos could end up in Wild Animals? 1756 01:11:18,440 --> 01:11:21,277 (laughs) 1757 01:11:21,277 --> 01:11:24,530 - Wild Animals fans prefer nude models. 1758 01:11:24,530 --> 01:11:26,365 - Do you ever retouch photos? 1759 01:11:26,365 --> 01:11:27,574 - Yes, of course. 1760 01:11:27,574 --> 01:11:30,619 If perfection is within reach, why not read it? 1761 01:11:30,619 --> 01:11:33,747 - So my face could end up on the body of a naked girl? 1762 01:11:33,747 --> 01:11:37,876 - Yes, but Miss Waterman, it would be much cheaper 1763 01:11:37,876 --> 01:11:41,547 to hire a nude model than to retouch it on a computer. 1764 01:11:41,547 --> 01:11:44,049 - Unless the girl the fans like got popular 1765 01:11:44,049 --> 01:11:46,218 and more expensive than when she first posts. 1766 01:11:46,218 --> 01:11:47,886 - Mm Hmm. 1767 01:11:47,886 --> 01:11:50,055 That's a little presumptuous. 1768 01:11:50,055 --> 01:11:51,724 - Now, on page two, 1769 01:11:51,724 --> 01:11:54,310 there were a couple of terms that were a little vague. 1770 01:11:58,230 --> 01:12:00,316 Well, I didn't actually go through with it. 1771 01:12:00,316 --> 01:12:01,567 - Why didn't you? 1772 01:12:01,567 --> 01:12:04,611 - I read the contract. Way too exploitive. 1773 01:12:04,611 --> 01:12:08,157 - Yes. You'd be exploited as a sex object. 1774 01:12:08,157 --> 01:12:10,409 - No, I'd be exploited as a fool. 1775 01:12:10,409 --> 01:12:12,494 For starters, they'd be able to use my picture 1776 01:12:12,494 --> 01:12:14,830 over and over again for a one-time fee. 1777 01:12:14,830 --> 01:12:16,248 - What more do you want? 1778 01:12:16,248 --> 01:12:17,666 - Residuals. 1779 01:12:17,666 --> 01:12:20,336 Additional payments for repurposing in other media. 1780 01:12:20,336 --> 01:12:22,755 Restrictions on alterations and retouching. 1781 01:12:22,755 --> 01:12:24,631 Throughout the universe in perpetuity. 1782 01:12:24,631 --> 01:12:26,008 And 10 free copies. 1783 01:12:27,092 --> 01:12:28,927 - You know all those big words? 1784 01:12:28,927 --> 01:12:31,430 - With that contract they'd be able to use me 1785 01:12:31,430 --> 01:12:34,183 in a video, on the internet, even slap my face 1786 01:12:34,183 --> 01:12:36,602 on some other girl's body for one low fee. 1787 01:12:36,602 --> 01:12:39,980 - Wow. I hardly read my contract. 1788 01:12:39,980 --> 01:12:42,858 - You're both such hypocrites. 1789 01:12:42,858 --> 01:12:45,027 All your talk about feminism 1790 01:12:45,027 --> 01:12:47,029 and all your crap you heaped on me 1791 01:12:47,029 --> 01:12:49,531 because I'm supposedly promiscuous. 1792 01:12:49,531 --> 01:12:52,201 - [Both] You are promiscuous. 1793 01:12:52,201 --> 01:12:54,286 - Both of you would sell your looks for money. 1794 01:12:54,286 --> 01:12:55,621 - I said no to the calendar. 1795 01:12:55,621 --> 01:12:57,623 - That's because it didn't pay you enough, 1796 01:12:57,623 --> 01:13:00,000 not because you thought it was wrong. 1797 01:13:00,000 --> 01:13:01,794 - Not paying enough is wrong. 1798 01:13:03,670 --> 01:13:05,506 But they were so impressed 1799 01:13:05,506 --> 01:13:07,633 with my reasons for not doing the calendar. 1800 01:13:07,633 --> 01:13:10,344 And they offered me a job in Curvees corporate 1801 01:13:10,344 --> 01:13:12,638 as a legal secretary. 1802 01:13:12,638 --> 01:13:14,640 - That's fantastic. 1803 01:13:14,640 --> 01:13:15,808 When do you start? 1804 01:13:15,808 --> 01:13:17,476 - A month after this one's born. 1805 01:13:18,477 --> 01:13:20,729 - I used to look up to you guys. 1806 01:13:20,729 --> 01:13:24,316 - Last time we saw you, you insulted us. 1807 01:13:24,316 --> 01:13:26,235 - It was a compliment. 1808 01:13:26,235 --> 01:13:27,986 - Shouldn't complements feel good? 1809 01:13:29,154 --> 01:13:30,489 - Don't worry. 1810 01:13:30,489 --> 01:13:33,492 Both of you have been terribly busy proving me wrong. 1811 01:13:33,492 --> 01:13:36,370 - So now I'm not even one-third of the perfect woman? 1812 01:13:36,370 --> 01:13:37,996 - No, I didn't mean that- 1813 01:13:37,996 --> 01:13:41,500 - First of all, disparate means dissimilar. 1814 01:13:41,500 --> 01:13:43,836 If we were desperate, we would have used the word desperate, 1815 01:13:43,836 --> 01:13:45,879 but we used the word disparate. 1816 01:13:45,879 --> 01:13:47,339 - Candy, she's showing off. 1817 01:13:47,339 --> 01:13:49,842 - Second of all, if we wanted to invite you tonight, 1818 01:13:49,842 --> 01:13:50,676 we would have. 1819 01:13:50,676 --> 01:13:53,178 We tried to un-invite. 1820 01:13:53,178 --> 01:13:54,888 - You you're making her feel awful. 1821 01:13:55,848 --> 01:13:57,182 - You were right. 1822 01:13:57,182 --> 01:13:58,517 You're Miss Beauty. 1823 01:13:58,517 --> 01:13:59,852 I'm Miss Brains. 1824 01:13:59,852 --> 01:14:02,354 And she's Miss Personality. 1825 01:14:02,354 --> 01:14:03,772 We spent the last six months 1826 01:14:03,772 --> 01:14:05,858 trying to prove you wrong, Jess, but we couldn't. 1827 01:14:07,067 --> 01:14:08,694 - I wasn't trying to prove anything. 1828 01:14:08,694 --> 01:14:09,862 - Oh, come on. 1829 01:14:09,862 --> 01:14:12,072 Being in a calendar? You? 1830 01:14:12,072 --> 01:14:14,867 And posing nude. Me? 1831 01:14:14,867 --> 01:14:16,535 - I thought you enjoyed it. 1832 01:14:16,535 --> 01:14:19,246 - I did, but it's not me. 1833 01:14:19,246 --> 01:14:21,123 You see how I dress. 1834 01:14:21,123 --> 01:14:24,126 I mean, you're bouncy-perky-creative, 1835 01:14:24,126 --> 01:14:26,211 and you have scratch-and-sniff wallpaper. 1836 01:14:28,547 --> 01:14:29,965 And now you're trying to say that 1837 01:14:29,965 --> 01:14:32,259 we don't have brains or personality either. 1838 01:14:32,259 --> 01:14:33,760 - No, that's- 1839 01:14:33,760 --> 01:14:37,431 - I admitted, Jessica, that you have more personality 1840 01:14:37,431 --> 01:14:39,057 than the two of us put together 1841 01:14:39,057 --> 01:14:41,894 because only a strong personality could upset me this much. 1842 01:14:44,062 --> 01:14:46,565 So you're two-thirds the perfect woman. 1843 01:14:46,565 --> 01:14:47,941 Satisfied? 1844 01:14:47,941 --> 01:14:49,610 - I was trying to say that both of you 1845 01:14:49,610 --> 01:14:51,653 are perfect women all on your own. 1846 01:14:53,071 --> 01:14:56,283 Either of you has all the beauty, brains and personality 1847 01:14:56,283 --> 01:14:58,076 that anyone could ever want. 1848 01:14:59,411 --> 01:15:00,245 - But what about- 1849 01:15:00,245 --> 01:15:01,413 - Let her finish. 1850 01:15:02,581 --> 01:15:06,585 - Candy, look at you with, with your contract 1851 01:15:06,585 --> 01:15:08,587 and your fancy smart new job. 1852 01:15:09,671 --> 01:15:12,925 If anyone deserves a PhD in brains, it's you. 1853 01:15:12,925 --> 01:15:15,135 And they wanted you in their calendar. 1854 01:15:18,430 --> 01:15:19,264 Lynnie, 1855 01:15:22,267 --> 01:15:24,269 you've got to have an amazing personality 1856 01:15:24,269 --> 01:15:26,188 to be as interesting as you are. 1857 01:15:27,523 --> 01:15:29,107 It's not just brains either. 1858 01:15:29,107 --> 01:15:30,943 I know because I've dated some brainy guys 1859 01:15:30,943 --> 01:15:32,444 and they've been really boring. 1860 01:15:34,112 --> 01:15:36,949 And your little camera tryst with my fiance, 1861 01:15:38,617 --> 01:15:40,536 he obviously thought you were a beauty. 1862 01:15:41,954 --> 01:15:43,205 - He's crazy about you. 1863 01:15:44,623 --> 01:15:48,001 - Look, I'm a good fuck. 1864 01:15:48,001 --> 01:15:49,628 I know that. 1865 01:15:49,628 --> 01:15:51,547 But when the sex with me is over, 1866 01:15:51,547 --> 01:15:52,631 what do you have left? 1867 01:15:52,631 --> 01:15:53,507 My personality? 1868 01:15:53,507 --> 01:15:54,633 That's a laugh. 1869 01:15:54,633 --> 01:15:56,635 - You have a wonderful personality. 1870 01:15:56,635 --> 01:15:58,971 - I have no personality. 1871 01:15:58,971 --> 01:16:00,138 I never say the right thing. 1872 01:16:00,138 --> 01:16:01,848 I never knew the right thing to say. 1873 01:16:01,848 --> 01:16:04,351 If I walk into a room and there's no men in it, 1874 01:16:04,351 --> 01:16:05,644 I don't know what to do. 1875 01:16:06,728 --> 01:16:08,146 I have no brains either. 1876 01:16:10,232 --> 01:16:13,151 I work for a company and I don't even know what we do 1877 01:16:13,151 --> 01:16:15,821 or make or sell or whatever. 1878 01:16:15,821 --> 01:16:17,406 - They hired you because you're classy 1879 01:16:17,406 --> 01:16:18,991 and you make the company look good. 1880 01:16:18,991 --> 01:16:20,701 And I agree. 1881 01:16:21,868 --> 01:16:24,329 - Both of you beat me at looking good. 1882 01:16:25,706 --> 01:16:28,542 The one thing where I thought I had the advantage. 1883 01:16:28,542 --> 01:16:31,503 - You do have the advantage. 1884 01:16:31,503 --> 01:16:33,005 You're absolutely stunning. 1885 01:16:34,673 --> 01:16:37,009 - Okay. So I'm one-third a woman. 1886 01:16:37,009 --> 01:16:39,344 - Jess, nobody's trying to beat you. 1887 01:16:39,344 --> 01:16:41,179 - At least not consciously. 1888 01:16:41,179 --> 01:16:42,598 - You want to be smart. 1889 01:16:42,598 --> 01:16:46,018 You go get a PhD or read a contract. 1890 01:16:46,893 --> 01:16:47,853 You want to be pretty. 1891 01:16:47,853 --> 01:16:49,688 You get in front of a camera. 1892 01:16:51,523 --> 01:16:54,359 Either of you can be whatever you choose to be. 1893 01:16:54,359 --> 01:16:55,277 - Then why haven't I- 1894 01:16:55,277 --> 01:16:57,571 - Because you don't want to. 1895 01:16:57,571 --> 01:16:59,531 You don't choose to. 1896 01:16:59,531 --> 01:17:01,742 You could walk into a party and snap your fingers 1897 01:17:01,742 --> 01:17:04,202 and five guys would instantly lineup. 1898 01:17:04,202 --> 01:17:06,580 Three years of celibacy was your choice 1899 01:17:06,580 --> 01:17:09,124 no matter how much you bitched and moaned about it. 1900 01:17:10,709 --> 01:17:13,795 And you, you could have snapped your fingers 1901 01:17:13,795 --> 01:17:17,090 and 10 guys would have lined up to be that baby's father 1902 01:17:17,090 --> 01:17:21,887 but you're doing it on your own because you're incredible. 1903 01:17:23,430 --> 01:17:26,058 - How come she got 10 guys and I only got five? 1904 01:17:27,392 --> 01:17:28,894 - Do you even like hanging out with me? 1905 01:17:28,894 --> 01:17:31,229 Like, do you like going clubbing? 1906 01:17:31,229 --> 01:17:32,648 - Sure. 1907 01:17:32,648 --> 01:17:35,609 - I love squeezing into a throbbing mass of sweaty bodies. 1908 01:17:35,609 --> 01:17:38,320 Obscenely bright lights drilling into my skull. 1909 01:17:38,320 --> 01:17:40,072 Music so loud I can smell it. 1910 01:17:40,072 --> 01:17:42,157 Filthy predators armed with roofies 1911 01:17:42,157 --> 01:17:43,283 trying to get in my pants. 1912 01:17:43,283 --> 01:17:44,242 - See. 1913 01:17:44,242 --> 01:17:45,077 We love it. 1914 01:17:48,330 --> 01:17:51,124 - I sat in my car for an hour 1915 01:17:51,124 --> 01:17:53,001 hoping that one of you would call. 1916 01:17:54,419 --> 01:17:56,421 I knew tonight was our monthly thing. 1917 01:17:56,421 --> 01:17:57,255 - We did call. 1918 01:17:57,255 --> 01:17:58,590 Why didn't you answer? 1919 01:17:59,675 --> 01:18:01,259 - I was afraid I would get emotional 1920 01:18:01,259 --> 01:18:03,095 and make a fool of myself. 1921 01:18:04,012 --> 01:18:05,097 Too late. 1922 01:18:05,097 --> 01:18:06,431 - Why didn't you call us? 1923 01:18:07,432 --> 01:18:09,351 - I was embarrassed. 1924 01:18:09,351 --> 01:18:12,437 (slow music begins) 1925 01:18:12,437 --> 01:18:13,689 - Should we eat? 1926 01:18:16,024 --> 01:18:17,192 - You guys go ahead. 1927 01:18:17,192 --> 01:18:19,444 I can't imagine there's enough for me. 1928 01:18:19,444 --> 01:18:20,654 - Oh yes there is. 1929 01:18:21,780 --> 01:18:25,158 - Jess, do you I really want to become 1930 01:18:25,158 --> 01:18:27,452 Miss Brains or Miss Personality? 1931 01:18:28,495 --> 01:18:29,788 - Of course not. 1932 01:18:29,788 --> 01:18:32,624 But you two make me feel like I should. 1933 01:18:32,624 --> 01:18:33,959 You're always growing. 1934 01:18:35,794 --> 01:18:38,880 I said what I said about the three of us 1935 01:18:38,880 --> 01:18:41,967 because it gave me a place alongside you two. 1936 01:18:41,967 --> 01:18:43,135 Something to be good at. 1937 01:18:44,469 --> 01:18:45,637 Being pretty. 1938 01:18:46,972 --> 01:18:49,057 - You do get this cool effect with your eyeshadow 1939 01:18:49,057 --> 01:18:50,684 that I'm dying to have you teach me. 1940 01:18:50,684 --> 01:18:51,977 - You see, that's the problem. 1941 01:18:51,977 --> 01:18:54,146 Soon you're going to be the eye shadow expert. 1942 01:18:54,980 --> 01:18:56,481 It's six months later 1943 01:18:56,481 --> 01:18:59,025 and both of you are better at being pretty than me. 1944 01:18:59,025 --> 01:19:02,988 But I'm no smarter and probably even less likable. 1945 01:19:04,489 --> 01:19:07,492 I'm about to marry a good man who I don't even deserve. 1946 01:19:08,660 --> 01:19:10,537 He's, like, honest and keeps his promises. 1947 01:19:10,537 --> 01:19:12,038 Who does it? 1948 01:19:12,038 --> 01:19:15,208 - Lynnie and I couldn't stop thinking about you all evening. 1949 01:19:15,208 --> 01:19:17,085 - We really missed you, Jess. 1950 01:19:17,085 --> 01:19:20,213 - No, you two deserve better than me. 1951 01:19:21,173 --> 01:19:23,008 So does Ron. 1952 01:19:23,008 --> 01:19:25,177 - You don't have to grow 1953 01:19:25,177 --> 01:19:26,261 if you don't want to. 1954 01:19:27,679 --> 01:19:29,014 - Really? 1955 01:19:29,014 --> 01:19:30,348 - Of course not. 1956 01:19:31,516 --> 01:19:33,018 - I'm no good at it. 1957 01:19:33,018 --> 01:19:36,521 - Then don't grow, sweetie. Stay this way forever. 1958 01:19:38,607 --> 01:19:40,108 - I have no bridesmaids. 1959 01:19:41,526 --> 01:19:44,279 - Actually, you've got two. 1960 01:19:44,279 --> 01:19:47,699 (lively music continues) 1961 01:19:50,744 --> 01:19:53,705 - Candy, this place looks very safe. 1962 01:19:53,705 --> 01:19:55,540 - Yep. Totally baby-proof. 1963 01:19:56,917 --> 01:19:58,960 - I was really rooting for you to find a dude, you know. 1964 01:19:58,960 --> 01:20:00,545 To help. 1965 01:20:00,545 --> 01:20:01,797 - I was too. 1966 01:20:01,797 --> 01:20:03,715 It seems just like a really big thing 1967 01:20:03,715 --> 01:20:04,800 to take on by yourself. 1968 01:20:05,717 --> 01:20:06,927 - Are you kidding? 1969 01:20:06,927 --> 01:20:08,762 Beanie and I are going to have so much fun. 1970 01:20:08,762 --> 01:20:11,389 - What if your kid doesn't like you? 1971 01:20:11,389 --> 01:20:14,059 - Then she's just going to have to withstand 1972 01:20:14,059 --> 01:20:16,311 my relentless torrent of love. 1973 01:20:16,311 --> 01:20:17,145 Poor thing. 1974 01:20:18,772 --> 01:20:21,233 - I wish you were my mother. 1975 01:20:21,233 --> 01:20:22,067 Oh! 1976 01:20:24,236 --> 01:20:26,321 I vote for dessert before dinner. 1977 01:20:26,321 --> 01:20:27,948 Dessert before anything. 1978 01:20:31,243 --> 01:20:33,245 We're out of control. 1979 01:20:33,245 --> 01:20:35,831 - That's the best idea I've heard all night. 1980 01:20:35,831 --> 01:20:37,415 - Oh, should we take our monthly photo 1981 01:20:37,415 --> 01:20:38,792 before or after dinner? 1982 01:20:38,792 --> 01:20:41,002 - We'll skinnier before we eat. 1983 01:20:41,002 --> 01:20:42,420 - Actually, 1984 01:20:42,420 --> 01:20:45,507 you guys, I think I'm about to get a lot skinnier. 1985 01:20:45,507 --> 01:20:47,509 - You invented a new diet? 1986 01:20:47,509 --> 01:20:48,343 Oh my God. 1987 01:20:48,343 --> 01:20:50,262 She invents diets now. 1988 01:20:50,262 --> 01:20:52,430 - Can someone drive me to the hospital? 1989 01:20:52,430 --> 01:20:53,265 - Now? 1990 01:20:53,265 --> 01:20:54,474 But we're about to eat. 1991 01:20:55,308 --> 01:20:56,351 - Oh my God! 1992 01:20:56,351 --> 01:20:57,811 You're in labor! 1993 01:20:57,811 --> 01:20:58,937 - She's not in labor, silly. 1994 01:20:58,937 --> 01:21:00,605 She's just going to have a baby. 1995 01:21:03,108 --> 01:21:04,442 Oh my God. 1996 01:21:04,442 --> 01:21:05,819 You're going to have a baby. 1997 01:21:07,445 --> 01:21:08,363 - Call St. Joe's Hospital 1998 01:21:08,363 --> 01:21:09,447 and let them know I'm on my way. 1999 01:21:09,447 --> 01:21:10,615 Dr. Julia Ditman. 2000 01:21:10,615 --> 01:21:11,700 - Okay. Okay. 2001 01:21:12,784 --> 01:21:14,286 (laughs) 2002 01:21:14,286 --> 01:21:15,704 - Oh. 2003 01:21:15,704 --> 01:21:16,955 - Hello? 2004 01:21:16,955 --> 01:21:18,707 I need the number for the, for the hospital. 2005 01:21:20,125 --> 01:21:21,334 I, I don't know. 2006 01:21:21,334 --> 01:21:22,836 The St. One! 2007 01:21:22,836 --> 01:21:24,462 Candy, which city is this? 2008 01:21:24,462 --> 01:21:27,632 - St. Joseph hospital in Santa Monica. 2009 01:21:27,632 --> 01:21:28,633 - Did you hear that? 2010 01:21:29,801 --> 01:21:31,469 Hello, hospital? 2011 01:21:31,469 --> 01:21:32,971 Hi. 2012 01:21:32,971 --> 01:21:34,890 Okay. My friend is like having a baby literally right now 2013 01:21:34,890 --> 01:21:36,892 and she's totally freaking out. 2014 01:21:36,892 --> 01:21:39,060 She's afraid she's going to be a bad mother. 2015 01:21:41,229 --> 01:21:43,315 What kind of a question is that? 2016 01:21:43,315 --> 01:21:45,150 Candy, what's your name? 2017 01:21:45,150 --> 01:21:46,902 - Candace Waterman. 2018 01:21:46,902 --> 01:21:48,153 - Candice Watery. 2019 01:21:48,153 --> 01:21:50,071 I think she's with Dr. Ditz. 2020 01:21:50,071 --> 01:21:51,907 - Are you sure you don't want an epidural? 2021 01:21:51,907 --> 01:21:53,491 - No, no anesthetics. 2022 01:21:53,491 --> 01:21:56,244 - She doesn't want an epidermis. Or an appendix 2023 01:21:56,244 --> 01:21:58,163 - Okay. I maybe should take this call. 2024 01:21:58,163 --> 01:21:59,372 - No, no no. 2025 01:21:59,372 --> 01:22:00,582 Please just let me use my charm and niceness 2026 01:22:00,582 --> 01:22:02,334 to make this go good. Just for once. 2027 01:22:03,501 --> 01:22:05,879 - Okay. But just let her do it, but hurry. 2028 01:22:08,089 --> 01:22:09,507 - Okay. We're going to be there in 10 minutes. 2029 01:22:09,507 --> 01:22:11,843 And if Candy doesn't have a fancy room 2030 01:22:11,843 --> 01:22:13,219 I'm kicking asses. 2031 01:22:14,387 --> 01:22:16,556 No, no father. She was ingratiated. 2032 01:22:16,556 --> 01:22:18,516 - I'm going to get the hospital bag. 2033 01:22:18,516 --> 01:22:20,435 - I'll get the keys and start the car. 2034 01:22:20,435 --> 01:22:21,686 But hurry. 2035 01:22:21,686 --> 01:22:23,229 Or I'm going to have Beanie in the backseat. 2036 01:22:24,856 --> 01:22:27,025 - No, no. I want a room upgrade 2037 01:22:27,025 --> 01:22:28,693 to the nicest one you have. 2038 01:22:28,693 --> 01:22:30,779 Just charge it to my credit card. 2039 01:22:30,779 --> 01:22:32,781 And fill the room with flowers. 2040 01:22:32,781 --> 01:22:34,032 Fill it. 2041 01:22:34,032 --> 01:22:36,242 And charge that to my card too. 2042 01:22:36,242 --> 01:22:38,536 This is our first and I want it to be perfect. 2043 01:22:40,705 --> 01:22:44,709 Okay. You guys let's go make a baby. 2044 01:22:46,378 --> 01:22:47,420 You know what I meant. 2045 01:22:48,964 --> 01:22:50,215 (sighs) 2046 01:22:50,215 --> 01:22:51,383 Aw! 2047 01:22:51,383 --> 01:22:52,217 - Oh, oh. 2048 01:22:53,551 --> 01:22:54,302 - Right. 2049 01:23:01,393 --> 01:23:03,812 - Do you remember when the three were younger? 2050 01:23:03,812 --> 01:23:05,563 Did you ever wonder what brought them together 2051 01:23:05,563 --> 01:23:07,065 in the first place? 2052 01:23:07,065 --> 01:23:08,066 I'll give you a hint. 2053 01:23:08,066 --> 01:23:09,818 It tastes really good. 2054 01:23:14,614 --> 01:23:17,075 (bell chimes) 2055 01:23:17,075 --> 01:23:20,286 (slow music continues) 2056 01:23:22,414 --> 01:23:23,581 - Can I have cake? 2057 01:23:23,581 --> 01:23:25,583 - Sure. What kind? 2058 01:23:25,583 --> 01:23:26,418 - Devil Food. 2059 01:23:27,752 --> 01:23:30,338 - Welcome to LA Province Bakery. What can I get you? 2060 01:23:31,256 --> 01:23:32,090 - Devil Food. 2061 01:23:33,091 --> 01:23:34,426 - We have country veggie puree, 2062 01:23:34,426 --> 01:23:35,802 vegetarian French onion soup, 2063 01:23:35,802 --> 01:23:37,303 Turkey chili Fergil, 2064 01:23:37,303 --> 01:23:38,346 we have stretched (mumbles). 2065 01:23:38,346 --> 01:23:39,472 Just Devil's Food cake? 2066 01:23:42,267 --> 01:23:44,019 - Is Devil Food your favorite too? 2067 01:23:47,272 --> 01:23:49,357 You don't look like you like it very much. 2068 01:23:50,692 --> 01:23:51,943 - I love the cake. 2069 01:23:51,943 --> 01:23:54,320 It's just everything else about today. 2070 01:23:55,155 --> 01:23:57,657 (bell chimes) 2071 01:24:01,286 --> 01:24:05,457 - Welcome to LA Province Bakery. What can I get you? 2072 01:24:05,457 --> 01:24:07,333 - A slice of Devil's Food. Cake. 2073 01:24:10,295 --> 01:24:11,796 - Is that your favorite too? 2074 01:24:13,798 --> 01:24:14,799 - It's the best. 2075 01:24:15,800 --> 01:24:17,135 - It's her favorite too. 2076 01:24:20,221 --> 01:24:22,515 - [Jessica] Then you must be very smart. 2077 01:24:22,515 --> 01:24:24,684 - I'm too smart to be fun, I guess. 2078 01:24:25,894 --> 01:24:26,811 - I'm Lynette. 2079 01:24:26,811 --> 01:24:28,354 - I'm Jessica. 2080 01:24:28,354 --> 01:24:30,690 I'm too pretty to quit The Nutcracker. 2081 01:24:30,690 --> 01:24:31,900 - I'm Candy. 2082 01:24:31,900 --> 01:24:33,651 But everyone calls me Sunshine. 2083 01:24:34,486 --> 01:24:35,820 I'm too sweet. 2084 01:24:35,820 --> 01:24:37,822 (giggling) 2085 01:24:37,822 --> 01:24:39,824 - Here is Devil Food cake for you. 2086 01:24:39,824 --> 01:24:42,327 And surprise, more Devil Food cake. 2087 01:24:42,327 --> 01:24:45,163 Napkin. Please don't make mess. 2088 01:24:45,163 --> 01:24:47,540 This is not school cafeteria. 2089 01:24:51,002 --> 01:24:54,172 - I'm cheering my mom up because Grammy just died. 2090 01:24:54,172 --> 01:24:56,508 - We don't tell strangers our business. 2091 01:24:56,508 --> 01:24:58,009 - They aren't strangers, mommy. 2092 01:24:58,843 --> 01:24:59,844 They're my friends. 2093 01:25:04,099 --> 01:25:06,101 - Of course they are, Sunshine. 2094 01:25:06,101 --> 01:25:09,354 (soft music continues) 2095 01:25:12,107 --> 01:25:13,858 - And now, enter me. 2096 01:25:13,858 --> 01:25:16,861 Yes, I'm Maddy. Or Beanie. 2097 01:25:16,861 --> 01:25:18,905 Or the test tube baby. 2098 01:25:18,905 --> 01:25:19,739 Whatever. 2099 01:25:24,369 --> 01:25:25,870 I was born that night, 2100 01:25:25,870 --> 01:25:28,706 thus ending one of the most painful arguments in history: 2101 01:25:28,706 --> 01:25:30,542 Who is the most beautiful? 2102 01:25:30,542 --> 01:25:32,627 Because once I came along, 2103 01:25:32,627 --> 01:25:35,296 all three of my moms; well, my mom, Candy, 2104 01:25:35,296 --> 01:25:37,132 and my two aunts, Jessica and Lynette, 2105 01:25:37,132 --> 01:25:39,092 could suddenly agree on the answer. 2106 01:25:39,092 --> 01:25:40,635 I am the most beautiful of all. 2107 01:25:41,719 --> 01:25:43,221 I think they're silly. 2108 01:25:43,221 --> 01:25:46,558 And they've been squeezing me to pieces ever since then. 2109 01:25:46,558 --> 01:25:49,435 The thing is, all four of us have beauty, 2110 01:25:49,435 --> 01:25:52,897 brains, personality, and much, much more 2111 01:25:52,897 --> 01:25:56,109 because every person can be whatever she chooses to be. 2112 01:25:56,109 --> 01:25:56,943 (doorbell rings) 2113 01:25:56,943 --> 01:25:57,902 (knocking) 2114 01:25:57,902 --> 01:25:58,903 - [Woman 1] Hello. 2115 01:25:58,903 --> 01:26:00,905 - [Woman 2] Hey, we're starving. 2116 01:26:00,905 --> 01:26:02,949 - And now if you'll, excuse me. 2117 01:26:02,949 --> 01:26:05,577 I have a dinner party of my own to host, 2118 01:26:05,577 --> 01:26:06,786 for my two best friends 2119 01:26:06,786 --> 01:26:09,289 - [Woman 1] Open up. I'm about to drop this cake. 2120 01:26:09,289 --> 01:26:11,583 - Hey, why let a great tradition go to waste? 2121 01:26:16,504 --> 01:26:19,674 (gentle music begins) 2122 01:28:15,039 --> 01:28:18,209 (lively music begins)