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- He threw a
pan in my direction.

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And then he said,

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"This is why they don't
let women in kitchens."

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- He told me
if I sat on his lap,

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he'd buy a lot of wine for me.

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- He pulled me in his office

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and without knowing
anything about me he said,

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"If you're gonna get
emotional about this,

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"you're not gonna
work here anymore."

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- I had this group of men

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that I was taking care of.

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They said, "How much would
it cost to take you home?"

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- He told me
to make sure I dressed

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and spoke appropriately
at the event.

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- He said, "I
didn't realize a girl

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"that looked like you would
know something about food."

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- I arrived at
an event to work a party

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that was predominantly male.

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And I searched for
my manager on duty

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to ask for any specific
instruction or direction.

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And the manager who was
also male said to me,

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"Oh you know, just flirt.

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"Just do that thing
that you girls do."

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- I was crouched down

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in front of another chef taking
a group photo at an event.

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And when I stand
up, he says to me,

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"Whoops, I think I
just got you pregnant."

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- It was always expected
that when I would walk

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into any new kitchen
for the first time,

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I would get hard stares,
whistleblows, sexual comments

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and then it became a
part of the lifestyle.

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And I just learned
to get used to it.

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- I remember the first
time doning a chef coat

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and what honor it
felt to wear it.

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And then the chef saying to me

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how I was not as cute as I was

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in my regular front
of the house outfit.

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- I remember once going
on a job interview

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for a pastry chef
position in New York

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and the male executive
chef asked me

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if I was planning
on getting married

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or getting pregnant
because if I was,

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he couldn't hire me.

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- Working my way up
through the ranks

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of kitchens in New York City,
it was quite challenging.

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And one of the biggest
challenges I had to overcome

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as a young sous chef

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was not because of
my cooking abilities,

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it was actually
because I was a woman.

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- One time during the judgment

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of one of those cooking
competition shows

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on food television, I had
a male chef say to me,

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"You're a very
talented young lady."

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And I thought, "Why can't
you just call me chef?"

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- You're gonna meet
men in the kitchen

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who don't want you around
because you're a woman.

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You're gonna meet
men in the kitchen

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who want you around
because you're a woman.

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And then you're gonna
meet other women

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who don't want you around
because you're a woman.

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And I looked at
him and I was like,

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"Well chef, where
do I go from there?"

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He's like, "Darling, you
go nowhere but up, okay?"

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And I laughed and I will
never forget those words

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that he told me.

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And it's true.

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I'm Leia Gaccione.

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I've been cooking

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in some of the most
high profile restaurants

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for the last 20 years.

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I am in a small
percentage of women trying

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to make their mark in an
industry filled with dudes.

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I can think back on a lot of
female chefs that inspired me

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as I wanted to become a chef.

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While it may be a cliche,
was there anything better

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than watching Julia
Child on television?

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And as I grew further
into my career,

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I had a meal at Dominique
Crenn's restaurant

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in San Francisco that
still resonates with me.

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As I started to put a
list of women together

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that I wanted to talk to,

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I kept coming back to one name
that truly defines a shero

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in the kitchen,
Elizabeth Falkner.

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- My least favorite
media question I get

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is where are all
the female chefs?

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Where all the female chefs?

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I mean, there are a
lot of Joan of arcs

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in the restaurant
world all over.

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So like, Alice Waters,
Lidia Bastianich,

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Barbara Tropp, Judy
Rodgers, Cecilia Chiang,

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Anne Rosenzweig, Barbara Lynch,

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Traci Des Jardins,
Daniela Soto-Innes.

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Where all the female chefs?

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Where all the female chefs?

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And Nancy Silverton of course,

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Joyce Goldstein, Nancy Oaks.

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And then you had Susan Feniger

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and Mary Sue Milliken
down in Los Angeles.

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Gabrielle Hamilton and Michelle
Bernstein, Sherry Yard,

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Jen Lewis, Anita
Lo, Lynn Crawford,

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Amanda Cohen, Carla Hall,

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Tonya Holland, Alex Shelley.

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There are so many female chefs.

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I don't know why people
even ask the question.

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People are always asking what
it's like to be a female chef.

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And I'm like, "I don't know.

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"Let's go talk to a bunch of
female chefs and find out."

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I mean, I don't know
what else to say.

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I am a female chef

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so I don't know what it's
not like to be a female chef

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'cause I genuinely
like female cooking.

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It's funny because
people always think of me

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from my food television times
as being only a pastry chef,

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but I do make all kinds
of food, savory and sweet.

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Sometimes I like to mix it
up and screw with people.

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Today, I'm more interested

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in what ingredients tastes
like in making sweet

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or savory food that tastes
like those ingredients.

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There's just a lot of life
lessons in cooking food.

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- Elizabeth
Falkner bridges the gap

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between generations
of female chefs.

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She is an artist, an activist

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and an advocate for many things.

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She was renowned for opening one

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of the most famous bakeries

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in San Francisco, Citizen Cake,

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crushing cooking competitions

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and becoming an iconic
figure in the food world.

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Chef Elizabeth has slayed
both sweet and savory.

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And with 26 years behind her,

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she is just getting started.

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- In Northern California,

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it felt like the food
scene was the scene.

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Think about it, I came from
where Hollywood was the scene

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in LA to this place
where the chefs

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were the superstars all of
a sudden like Alice Waters

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had Chez Panisse.

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Judy Rodgers had this
restaurant called Zuni

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and then there was
Jeremiah Tower with Stars.

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And I worked at Williams-Sonoma
when I was still in college

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and I started reading
everybody's cookbooks.

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And finishing college at
San Francisco Art Institute,

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I was making films.

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It was more like I loved
the choreography of people

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in an open kitchen like
this or behind the bar.

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And I started wanting
to just bring more

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and more food stuff
into those scenes.

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I needed to go really
be in a kitchen,

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but it was really hard for
me to get into the kitchen

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because I didn't
have any experience.

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And then I got a part-time job

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at a little French bistro
in downtown San Francisco.

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I took over as the
chef pretty quickly,

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but then I staged at a fine
dining restaurant and I thought,

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"Okay, I need to go work
at that restaurant."

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And that restaurant was Masa's.

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I worked at Masa's for a year

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and then I went to work for
Traci Des Jardins at Elka.

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And then one year
later we opened Rubicon

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where I worked for three years.

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That was a pretty big deal

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'cause Traci won
James Beard award,

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rising star chef that year.

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We were 28 years old.

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Everybody came into
that restaurant.

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Julia Child came to that
restaurant, Jacques Pepin

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Claudine, tons of movie
stars, tons of wine makers.

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It became really obvious that
I needed to open my own place.

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And I was like,

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"San Francisco needs a really
modern, cool pastry shop."

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Because it just didn't exist.

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At the original Citizen Cake,
we had a wood-fired oven

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and we did amazing
little pizzas.

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We made very eccentric
pastries and cakes.

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Made our own marshmallows,

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made our own cream crackers.

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I know that's
really common today,

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but that didn't
even really happen.

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And then my business
partner roasted coffee

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so that didn't even exist.

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It was really cool.

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I learned a lot.

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It was really tough.

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I felt like our
location was too remote

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so I moved it to what
became a very popular place,

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which is Hayes Valley.

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And then that place
became a full restaurant

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and pastry shop.

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We made our own ice creams
and made all these cakes.

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I had an open pastry kitchen

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and then we had a
full restaurant too

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which was right near the
theater and always busy.

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So I had Citizen Cake
for about 15 years

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and then I had a
little satellite cafe

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called Citizen
Cupcake for a minute.

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I had this other restaurant
Orson that we opened in 2008.

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That period of
time was just rough

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after the stock market crash.

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I had a life partnership
that was dissolving.

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We needed to close.

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Just real estate was
very expensive and greedy

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and lots of greedy
people around me.

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It was crazy.

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And the more popular I got,
the more Pac-Man it felt.

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People were just kind of
running after a lot of stuff.

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And then I was like,

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"I think I'm just
done in this town.

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"I can't figure out any more.

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"I can't make this work."

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And I was like, "Okay well, I
guess maybe it's time to move

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"to New York."

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I came to New York after
winning a piece of competition

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in Naples, Italy to open
a pizzeria in Brooklyn.

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I wanted to go back to
just like cooking in fire.

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And then I got pulled
into consulting

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on a restaurant in
the upper West side

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and that was a really
beautiful restaurant.

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I love the cooking
competitions shows

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because I played soccer so long.

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The first shows that I did

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were the earliest Food Network
Challenges where we had

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to build some kind of
gargantuan cake sort of thing

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and then move it for some
reason across the room.

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It feels like my culinary
and my soccer athleticness

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is meeting each
other in the middle.

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Knowing that it's a
fleeting moment of cooking

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and not taking it so seriously,

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but this is just a fun game

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has been my favorite
part about it for sure.

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- Elizabeth asked me to meet her

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at Hong Thaimee's restaurant

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in the East village,
Thaimee Table.

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They are both cooking
for a private event

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that will raise awareness
and funds for RED.

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- I was an executive in Taiwan.

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Yeah, I ran
philanthropy department

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for big pharmaceutical
company in Bangkok.

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- Wow.
- And graduated with MBA.

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Applied for a job as a hostess
at Jean-Jorges spice market

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and made my way into the
kitchen and walk through fire.

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And now I have a
couple of restaurants.

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- A lot of people would
say that we're women

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in a man's world doing this.

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But then when you
really think about it,

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00:10:01.229 --> 00:10:02.470
when you think about
all the women doing it,

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you realize there's
a lot more women

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in this business than
what everyone else makes

250
00:10:07.202 --> 00:10:08.368
it seem out to be.

251
00:10:08.437 --> 00:10:12.776
- I feel like people
underestimate us sometimes.

252
00:10:12.845 --> 00:10:15.141
They think that
women just women.

253
00:10:15.210 --> 00:10:16.509
We not, we stronger.

254
00:10:16.578 --> 00:10:21.917
We know how to push through
things sometime more than men

255
00:10:23.251 --> 00:10:25.250
because we don't have much
of an ego I would say.

256
00:10:25.319 --> 00:10:28.891
The way that we do things,
we not do it to fight.

257
00:10:30.225 --> 00:10:32.170
We not doing that, oh I
have to be better than you

258
00:10:32.194 --> 00:10:33.471
or you have to be better
than me, but we do it

259
00:10:33.495 --> 00:10:36.998
because we truly really
love to be in this industry.

260
00:10:38.838 --> 00:10:42.135
I feel like why are
we in this industry?

261
00:10:42.204 --> 00:10:44.038
So that we can
get Michelin star,

262
00:10:44.107 --> 00:10:47.107
so that we can be
number one in the world.

263
00:10:47.176 --> 00:10:49.274
I mean, I don't oppose to that,

264
00:10:49.343 --> 00:10:52.079
but that is not the
most important thing.

265
00:10:52.148 --> 00:10:54.752
We here to love and serve
people through our food.

266
00:10:54.821 --> 00:10:55.865
I don't know the rest of them,

267
00:10:55.889 --> 00:10:58.756
but that's why I'm
in this industry,

268
00:10:58.825 --> 00:11:00.219
that's why I'm working so hard,

269
00:11:00.288 --> 00:11:04.355
14 hours a day on my
feet dealing with bunions

270
00:11:04.424 --> 00:11:06.423
and all those stuff.

271
00:11:06.492 --> 00:11:11.131
We have to really look
into why are we here?

272
00:11:11.200 --> 00:11:14.739
Going back and ask that same
question you asked yourself,

273
00:11:14.808 --> 00:11:15.674
why do you love to cook?

274
00:11:15.742 --> 00:11:16.886
Why you wanna be
in the business?

275
00:11:16.910 --> 00:11:20.470
I feel like I wanna live
my life with purpose.

276
00:11:20.539 --> 00:11:22.978
And my purpose is to
love and serve people.

277
00:11:25.379 --> 00:11:27.444
- One of the most
important relationships I have

278
00:11:27.513 --> 00:11:31.184
outside of work is
with my brother Gary.

279
00:11:31.253 --> 00:11:32.922
This year for his birthday,

280
00:11:32.991 --> 00:11:35.287
I tried to do
something super special

281
00:11:35.356 --> 00:11:37.454
because my schedule
has been very chaotic.

282
00:11:37.523 --> 00:11:38.523
Food is love to me.

283
00:11:38.591 --> 00:11:41.161
So I'm making him
one of his favorites,

284
00:11:41.230 --> 00:11:44.901
a medium rare cheeseburger
with a runny egg.

285
00:11:44.970 --> 00:11:47.431
What could be better than
celebrating your birthday

286
00:11:47.500 --> 00:11:48.707
with a burger?

287
00:11:49.743 --> 00:11:51.501
It's really sweet
to give the gift

288
00:11:51.570 --> 00:11:53.437
of food to the ones you love,

289
00:11:53.506 --> 00:11:56.847
just like Caroline Schiff
does with her desserts.

290
00:12:04.220 --> 00:12:07.891
- It all started with
birthday cake for me.

291
00:12:09.555 --> 00:12:11.928
I mean, I would get so
excited for my birthday

292
00:12:11.997 --> 00:12:13.037
because it was about cake.

293
00:12:13.097 --> 00:12:14.524
I was like, "Well, I'm gonna get

294
00:12:14.593 --> 00:12:17.065
"to make this cake
start to finish.

295
00:12:17.134 --> 00:12:19.804
"It's gonna be exactly
what I want it to be."

296
00:12:19.873 --> 00:12:21.399
I was like in elementary school

297
00:12:21.468 --> 00:12:25.843
and I would have never
gone out to buy a cake

298
00:12:25.912 --> 00:12:28.142
or have a store-bought cake.

299
00:12:31.313 --> 00:12:33.213
I felt like it was so special.

300
00:12:33.282 --> 00:12:35.380
It was just the
most special thing

301
00:12:35.449 --> 00:12:38.350
that I got to do all year
was bake my birthday cake.

302
00:12:38.419 --> 00:12:40.088
And then as I got
a little bit older,

303
00:12:40.157 --> 00:12:42.321
it was like I wanted to
make them for other people.

304
00:12:42.390 --> 00:12:44.422
I really started
to understand that,

305
00:12:44.491 --> 00:12:48.426
that is an incredible
gift to give to somebody.

306
00:12:53.907 --> 00:12:56.104
They have a slice of
it on their birthday

307
00:12:56.173 --> 00:12:59.844
and they're celebrating with
friends or family or whatever,

308
00:12:59.913 --> 00:13:03.276
but what I really
want them to feel

309
00:13:03.345 --> 00:13:08.347
and for them to take away is
just pure happiness.

310
00:13:22.067 --> 00:13:24.363
Strawberries and I go way back.

311
00:13:24.432 --> 00:13:29.434
I remember going to the Plaza
hotel with my mom and my aunt.

312
00:13:30.944 --> 00:13:32.581
I remember getting
strawberries and cream,

313
00:13:32.605 --> 00:13:37.475
just really sweet sugary,
macerated, strawberries.

314
00:13:38.952 --> 00:13:42.150
They were this beautiful,
hot pink red color

315
00:13:42.219 --> 00:13:43.418
and whipped cream.

316
00:13:43.487 --> 00:13:46.550
And I made such a mess
and I just dove right in,

317
00:13:46.619 --> 00:13:49.993
but to me that was
the perfect food.

318
00:13:50.062 --> 00:13:53.458
That moment was the beginning
of something for me.

319
00:13:53.527 --> 00:13:58.529
It was the beginning of
this love affair with sugar

320
00:13:59.533 --> 00:14:01.103
that I've had and food.

321
00:14:01.172 --> 00:14:03.369
And I think my mother worried

322
00:14:03.438 --> 00:14:05.305
because she thought I
was the sugar monster.

323
00:14:05.374 --> 00:14:08.044
She was like, "Oh my God, my
child only wants to eat sugar."

324
00:14:08.113 --> 00:14:11.179
And there was no
doubt in my mind

325
00:14:11.248 --> 00:14:13.115
or anybody else who knew me well

326
00:14:13.184 --> 00:14:15.051
from a really
young age that food

327
00:14:15.120 --> 00:14:19.319
and pretty specifically
dessert was the thing

328
00:14:19.388 --> 00:14:21.189
that I loved the most.

329
00:14:21.258 --> 00:14:24.654
When I was young, I would
cook mostly by myself

330
00:14:24.723 --> 00:14:28.196
mostly because I was really
bossy in the kitchen.

331
00:14:28.265 --> 00:14:31.595
My aunt, my mom's
youngest sister,

332
00:14:31.664 --> 00:14:35.335
she was a chef working in
restaurants in New York

333
00:14:35.404 --> 00:14:38.008
when I was little in the '80s.

334
00:14:38.077 --> 00:14:41.341
I just thought it was
the coolest thing.

335
00:14:41.410 --> 00:14:44.707
She would come over with
interesting ingredients.

336
00:14:44.776 --> 00:14:48.018
I knew she was out late
working in the kitchen

337
00:14:48.087 --> 00:14:51.582
and she was downtown and I
just thought it was so cool.

338
00:14:51.651 --> 00:14:54.585
And I was like, "I wanna
learn how to do that.

339
00:14:54.654 --> 00:14:58.963
"And I wanna make food
that people are gonna eat.

340
00:14:59.032 --> 00:15:00.265
"Not just for my family,

341
00:15:00.333 --> 00:15:02.626
"I wanna make food that
people want to buy and eat

342
00:15:02.695 --> 00:15:04.013
"'cause they think
it's delicious

343
00:15:04.037 --> 00:15:06.201
"and they think it's special."

344
00:15:06.270 --> 00:15:08.137
- As she journeyed
across the world

345
00:15:08.206 --> 00:15:11.536
discovering the flavors that
would ignite a fire in her,

346
00:15:11.605 --> 00:15:13.340
Caroline's path would cross

347
00:15:13.409 --> 00:15:15.177
with the uber-talented
Sohui Kim.

348
00:15:17.215 --> 00:15:18.642
- I was looking for jobs

349
00:15:18.711 --> 00:15:22.349
and I have a resume
that has nothing on it.

350
00:15:22.418 --> 00:15:26.122
It has my education basically
and a little paragraph

351
00:15:26.191 --> 00:15:29.125
about what I love
about food so much.

352
00:15:29.194 --> 00:15:32.656
The only one that got back
to me was The Good Fork

353
00:15:32.725 --> 00:15:35.395
and the chef owner
here Sohui Kim.

354
00:15:35.464 --> 00:15:37.624
So she called me and she was
like, "I got your resume.

355
00:15:37.664 --> 00:15:40.532
"And you seem really passionate,

356
00:15:40.601 --> 00:15:43.469
"but it kind of looks like
you don't have any experience.

357
00:15:43.538 --> 00:15:44.971
"Is that true?

358
00:15:45.039 --> 00:15:49.211
And I was like, "Well, professionally,
yeah, no experience."

359
00:15:50.479 --> 00:15:53.743
I'm lucky that I found
somebody who sees the value

360
00:15:53.812 --> 00:15:58.286
in teaching people and
sees the value in somebody

361
00:15:58.355 --> 00:16:01.751
who has a ton of passion
and no experience.

362
00:16:01.820 --> 00:16:05.788
I owe her a lot because
she saw something in me.

363
00:16:05.857 --> 00:16:08.296
- Well, it was very
well-written first of all.

364
00:16:08.365 --> 00:16:10.694
And I was very impressed
and it's not usual

365
00:16:10.763 --> 00:16:14.533
that you get very heartfelt
cover letter on a resume.

366
00:16:14.602 --> 00:16:18.306
And the first thing that I
noticed was just her sense

367
00:16:18.375 --> 00:16:22.343
of enthusiasm and her spirit.

368
00:16:22.412 --> 00:16:24.357
I don't know, it's just
hard to describe it to words

369
00:16:24.381 --> 00:16:26.644
when you meet somebody
and you're like, "Wow."

370
00:16:26.713 --> 00:16:29.746
I was very, very sure from
the minute that I met her

371
00:16:29.815 --> 00:16:32.287
that she was gonna
do wonderful things.

372
00:16:32.356 --> 00:16:34.025
- I owe my career to Sohui.

373
00:16:36.162 --> 00:16:38.656
For her to be a
mentor like that,

374
00:16:38.725 --> 00:16:43.628
she was so generous with
her time and her knowledge.

375
00:16:44.764 --> 00:16:48.600
As a new cook, I
fucked up so much.

376
00:16:48.669 --> 00:16:49.733
I shouldn't say fuck.

377
00:16:50.670 --> 00:16:51.902
- I love that, say that.

378
00:16:51.971 --> 00:16:56.740
- I fucked up so much and
she would kind of use it

379
00:16:57.876 --> 00:17:00.216
as a way to teach
you something else.

380
00:17:00.285 --> 00:17:02.350
- More than anything, I've
taught a lot of people

381
00:17:02.419 --> 00:17:04.253
in this kitchen and
more than anything,

382
00:17:04.322 --> 00:17:08.125
I value hard work, enthusiasm

383
00:17:08.194 --> 00:17:10.655
and certainly
passion for cooking.

384
00:17:10.724 --> 00:17:15.429
And she's just had the perfect
bundle of all three and more.

385
00:17:16.862 --> 00:17:18.663
When a young person comes in

386
00:17:18.732 --> 00:17:22.766
and they have so much
enthusiasm, it's infectious.

387
00:17:22.835 --> 00:17:26.638
And it makes for a very
awesome working environment.

388
00:17:26.707 --> 00:17:29.146
So right away, she
was an integral part

389
00:17:29.215 --> 00:17:30.312
of the team for sure.

390
00:17:32.845 --> 00:17:35.185
- We are back here with
our second contestant.

391
00:17:35.254 --> 00:17:36.053
What's your name?

392
00:17:36.122 --> 00:17:38.188
- Fatima Ali.
- Fatima Ali,

393
00:17:38.257 --> 00:17:39.387
where are you from?

394
00:17:39.456 --> 00:17:40.622
- Karachi, Pakistan.

395
00:17:40.691 --> 00:17:44.491
- Listen Fatima Ali,
what is unique about you?

396
00:17:45.495 --> 00:17:46.592
- Everything.

397
00:17:47.962 --> 00:17:51.564
I mean, cancer has touched
everyone in one way or the other

398
00:17:51.633 --> 00:17:53.335
whether it's yourself,
or a loved one

399
00:17:53.404 --> 00:17:55.469
or a friend, it's universal.

400
00:17:59.443 --> 00:18:02.575
The pain that it brings
is also universal.

401
00:18:02.644 --> 00:18:06.810
But I think as someone
who's gone through it,

402
00:18:06.879 --> 00:18:08.329
you have your good
and your bad days,

403
00:18:08.353 --> 00:18:09.483
but it does get better.

404
00:18:10.751 --> 00:18:12.585
There's always hope.

405
00:18:12.654 --> 00:18:14.686
There's always joy to be found

406
00:18:14.755 --> 00:18:16.688
in the little things.

407
00:18:18.231 --> 00:18:19.736
You have to find
your own distraction

408
00:18:19.760 --> 00:18:20.425
to kind of get through it.

409
00:18:20.494 --> 00:18:22.826
And for me, that's food.

410
00:18:22.895 --> 00:18:25.862
For me, that's
always been cooking.

411
00:18:25.931 --> 00:18:29.305
I think what's interesting
to me is that I also realized

412
00:18:29.374 --> 00:18:32.506
how much I enjoy being a part
of bigger picture things.

413
00:18:33.840 --> 00:18:37.214
I'm so excited to be a part
of someone's dining experience

414
00:18:37.283 --> 00:18:41.317
where they will never forget
it for the rest of their lives.

415
00:18:41.386 --> 00:18:44.188
They'll talk about it for years.

416
00:18:44.257 --> 00:18:48.225
And in my own little way
may have had a hand in that

417
00:18:48.294 --> 00:18:50.425
and that's something
that's very special to me.

418
00:18:50.494 --> 00:18:52.724
And that's the reason
I became a chef.

419
00:18:52.793 --> 00:18:55.595
- I have always been
an avid watcher of "Top Chef".

420
00:18:55.664 --> 00:18:58.466
Cooking shows are what started
my love affair with food.

421
00:18:58.535 --> 00:19:00.864
I was really rooting
for chef Fatima Ali

422
00:19:00.933 --> 00:19:03.504
like so many other
Americans that were glued

423
00:19:03.573 --> 00:19:05.638
to the screen during season 15.

424
00:19:05.707 --> 00:19:07.244
As I convinced
myself to reach out

425
00:19:07.313 --> 00:19:08.872
to my new inspiration Fatima,

426
00:19:08.941 --> 00:19:11.875
I tried not to let my fan
girl get the best of me.

427
00:19:11.944 --> 00:19:13.382
After our first chat,

428
00:19:13.451 --> 00:19:17.221
I knew this was a
very special person,

429
00:19:17.290 --> 00:19:19.520
not because of how
her story ends up,

430
00:19:19.589 --> 00:19:21.225
but because of how it began

431
00:19:21.294 --> 00:19:23.623
and how she literally
became a top chef.

432
00:19:23.692 --> 00:19:25.493
- I was very, very young.

433
00:19:25.562 --> 00:19:26.761
According to my mom,

434
00:19:26.830 --> 00:19:29.761
I think I started cooking
at about four or five.

435
00:19:29.830 --> 00:19:31.862
I remember really
being in the kitchen.

436
00:19:31.931 --> 00:19:33.699
I was probably
about eight or nine.

437
00:19:33.768 --> 00:19:35.668
I was too young to cook anything

438
00:19:35.737 --> 00:19:37.377
on the stove according
to my grandmother

439
00:19:37.442 --> 00:19:39.903
so she would boil
the water for me

440
00:19:39.972 --> 00:19:41.608
and I would make soup.

441
00:19:41.677 --> 00:19:44.413
I remember putting
cabbage in it and carrots

442
00:19:44.482 --> 00:19:46.778
and seasoning it and just
really just warm water

443
00:19:46.847 --> 00:19:49.517
and barely wilted
vegetables really,

444
00:19:49.586 --> 00:19:51.453
but I was so proud
of my creation.

445
00:19:51.522 --> 00:19:53.282
The older I got, the
more I started cooking,

446
00:19:53.326 --> 00:19:55.820
the more I began to
explore different kinds

447
00:19:55.889 --> 00:20:00.396
of cuisines with my dad
who was actually a lawyer.

448
00:20:00.465 --> 00:20:01.597
He traveled a lot

449
00:20:01.666 --> 00:20:02.777
and anytime he would go
to different countries,

450
00:20:02.801 --> 00:20:04.961
he would bring back
something interesting.

451
00:20:05.030 --> 00:20:06.930
My family's basically
been my guinea pig.

452
00:20:06.999 --> 00:20:08.131
I've made a lot

453
00:20:08.200 --> 00:20:08.799
of really horrible
things over the years too

454
00:20:08.868 --> 00:20:10.538
when I was younger.

455
00:20:10.607 --> 00:20:11.607
If it wasn't for them,

456
00:20:11.641 --> 00:20:12.915
I wouldn't be doing
what I was doing.

457
00:20:12.939 --> 00:20:14.971
- As a little girl growing up,

458
00:20:16.041 --> 00:20:18.579
she was very sporty,
very friendly.

459
00:20:18.648 --> 00:20:22.583
When other kids her age were
watching Cartoon Network,

460
00:20:22.652 --> 00:20:24.354
she was watching BBC Food.

461
00:20:24.423 --> 00:20:27.390
Back in the day, she
loved "Yan Can Cook".

462
00:20:27.459 --> 00:20:28.556
- If Yan Can Cook!

463
00:20:28.625 --> 00:20:30.525
- So can we!

464
00:20:30.594 --> 00:20:32.725
- When we were in Austin, Texas,

465
00:20:32.794 --> 00:20:35.860
I still remember her kindergarten
teacher, lovely lady,

466
00:20:35.929 --> 00:20:37.128
she used to send

467
00:20:37.197 --> 00:20:40.766
these little pictogram
recipes home every weekend.

468
00:20:40.835 --> 00:20:43.736
So every Friday, she'd
come rushing home

469
00:20:43.805 --> 00:20:45.309
with that little recipe.

470
00:20:45.378 --> 00:20:46.871
We'd put that recipe together.

471
00:20:46.940 --> 00:20:50.314
Her love for food
just naturally started

472
00:20:50.383 --> 00:20:52.976
when she was really,
really very young.

473
00:20:53.045 --> 00:20:55.451
And I think as she grew older,

474
00:20:55.520 --> 00:20:57.783
she found a lot
of comfort in it.

475
00:21:00.657 --> 00:21:03.558
- My mom's always
encouraged me in the kitchen

476
00:21:03.627 --> 00:21:05.560
and she's really encouraged
and pushed me to try

477
00:21:05.629 --> 00:21:07.925
and be the best that
I can possibly be.

478
00:21:07.994 --> 00:21:12.666
When I was about
17, I sat with her

479
00:21:12.735 --> 00:21:15.064
and told her I wanted to
become a professional chef.

480
00:21:15.133 --> 00:21:18.034
And she told me
that I could do that

481
00:21:18.103 --> 00:21:19.623
as long as I got a
bachelor's degree.

482
00:21:19.676 --> 00:21:22.038
So I hopped on my computer

483
00:21:22.107 --> 00:21:26.075
and I googled America
culinary bachelors.

484
00:21:26.144 --> 00:21:27.188
The first school that popped up

485
00:21:27.212 --> 00:21:30.387
was the Culinary
Institute of America.

486
00:21:30.456 --> 00:21:33.621
I'd never been to that
part of the world before.

487
00:21:33.690 --> 00:21:36.888
And it was just a
really exciting,

488
00:21:36.957 --> 00:21:39.594
but also nerve wracking
journey, moving from Pakistan,

489
00:21:39.663 --> 00:21:42.564
coming here for college
and then immersing myself

490
00:21:42.633 --> 00:21:46.502
in a field that I had
so much passion for,

491
00:21:46.571 --> 00:21:49.670
but no actual hands-on
experience of yet.

492
00:21:50.971 --> 00:21:52.706
I remember the first
time buttoning up

493
00:21:52.775 --> 00:21:54.136
our pristine chef jackets

494
00:21:54.205 --> 00:21:56.314
and assessing
ourselves for an hour.

495
00:21:57.978 --> 00:22:01.550
We will remember standing in
unknown kitchens, knife in hand

496
00:22:01.619 --> 00:22:03.519
and ready to conquer all.

497
00:22:03.588 --> 00:22:04.994
And we will remember
the cuts and burns

498
00:22:05.018 --> 00:22:07.149
in our hands as evidence.

499
00:22:07.218 --> 00:22:10.119
Deep down inside most of
us lies this incessant urge

500
00:22:10.188 --> 00:22:13.397
for acknowledgement,
for approval.

501
00:22:13.466 --> 00:22:15.399
For if we did not
have that need,

502
00:22:15.468 --> 00:22:17.401
we would not have become chefs.

503
00:22:17.470 --> 00:22:18.736
A plate of food

504
00:22:18.805 --> 00:22:21.966
is merely ordinary until
someone deems it magnificent.

505
00:22:23.069 --> 00:22:25.739
We are all morbidly
afraid of being ordinary

506
00:22:25.808 --> 00:22:29.809
for there seems no other
thing so horrific as that.

507
00:22:29.878 --> 00:22:33.142
But today, it has
been acknowledged,

508
00:22:33.211 --> 00:22:37.146
you have been acknowledged,
we have been acknowledged

509
00:22:37.215 --> 00:22:40.083
as being absolutely
extraordinary.

510
00:22:40.152 --> 00:22:41.152
- And I told her, I said,

511
00:22:41.220 --> 00:22:43.152
"If this is what
you're gonna pursue,

512
00:22:43.221 --> 00:22:44.923
"this is what you're gonna do.

513
00:22:44.992 --> 00:22:47.959
"You will promise me that
you will be the best."

514
00:22:48.028 --> 00:22:49.565
- See, I wasn't making it up.

515
00:22:51.097 --> 00:22:53.096
- Not because of any pressure,

516
00:22:53.165 --> 00:22:57.166
but because I feel you've
got to own it, right?

517
00:22:57.235 --> 00:22:59.971
It's like if this
is your commitment,

518
00:23:00.040 --> 00:23:01.742
then that commitment
needs to show.

519
00:23:01.811 --> 00:23:03.513
- With her mother's blessing

520
00:23:03.582 --> 00:23:04.915
and a dream in her heart,

521
00:23:04.983 --> 00:23:09.178
Fatima met her uncles Sibte
in the city that never sleeps.

522
00:23:09.247 --> 00:23:11.554
- New York is tough,
but I know her

523
00:23:11.623 --> 00:23:16.152
and she can dig up a whole
mountain with a spoon

524
00:23:16.221 --> 00:23:17.692
if she needs to.

525
00:23:17.761 --> 00:23:19.727
We had a long conversation,

526
00:23:19.796 --> 00:23:21.531
her ambitions, what
she wants to do.

527
00:23:21.600 --> 00:23:24.127
She is focused and it's
very rare to find somebody

528
00:23:24.196 --> 00:23:25.196
with that much focus.

529
00:23:25.264 --> 00:23:28.703
- I found myself
working at Cafe Centro,

530
00:23:28.772 --> 00:23:30.969
which is a part of the Patina
group in New York City.

531
00:23:31.038 --> 00:23:34.038
I actually found myself
working for Maneet Chauhan.

532
00:23:34.107 --> 00:23:38.878
Seeing a woman of color
doing such interesting

533
00:23:38.947 --> 00:23:41.650
and fantastic things in the
industry was really inspiring.

534
00:23:41.719 --> 00:23:43.119
- One of the most
endearing things

535
00:23:43.149 --> 00:23:46.787
to me about Fatima was
her, there is nothing

536
00:23:46.856 --> 00:23:48.789
that's going to phase
me out attitude.

537
00:23:48.858 --> 00:23:50.132
- I think it was
really important

538
00:23:50.156 --> 00:23:53.156
for me to be able to see a woman

539
00:23:53.225 --> 00:23:56.027
who was running a restaurant
and who's successful at it.

540
00:23:56.096 --> 00:23:59.701
- I think as a
female chef myself,

541
00:23:59.770 --> 00:24:02.770
it is my responsibility
to help pave way

542
00:24:02.839 --> 00:24:07.511
for more young female
chefs to make a mark

543
00:24:07.580 --> 00:24:09.172
and an impact in the industry.

544
00:24:09.241 --> 00:24:11.614
She got an opportunity.

545
00:24:11.683 --> 00:24:13.781
She did not squander
that opportunity.

546
00:24:13.850 --> 00:24:15.717
She was a shining
star and I think

547
00:24:15.786 --> 00:24:18.786
that was the most incredible
part about Fatima.

548
00:24:18.855 --> 00:24:22.724
- I think when you talk
about Nona or grandma cooking

549
00:24:27.831 --> 00:24:29.698
- in Italy, right?
- - Yeah.

550
00:24:29.767 --> 00:24:31.799
- They usually
run the restaurant

551
00:24:31.868 --> 00:24:33.582
and the kids just happened
to work there too,

552
00:24:33.606 --> 00:24:36.199
but the mom is the boss.

553
00:24:42.615 --> 00:24:44.647
- I mean, being
immigrant family,

554
00:24:44.716 --> 00:24:46.649
obviously it's either
one of two things.

555
00:24:46.718 --> 00:24:48.223
You're either gonna be
a lawyer or a doctor.

556
00:24:48.247 --> 00:24:51.214
And there's no other option,
no other career path.

557
00:24:51.283 --> 00:24:52.360
You're either a
lawyer or a doctor.

558
00:24:52.384 --> 00:24:55.691
And my parents drilled
that into my head

559
00:24:55.760 --> 00:24:57.594
since I was really little.

560
00:25:00.193 --> 00:25:02.138
They were like, "Oh, your
sister's gonna be a doctor

561
00:25:02.162 --> 00:25:03.765
"so you're gonna be a lawyer."

562
00:25:04.934 --> 00:25:06.867
And then she chose
a different path.

563
00:25:06.936 --> 00:25:08.002
So they were like,

564
00:25:08.070 --> 00:25:09.081
"Okay, so you're gonna
be the doctor now."

565
00:25:09.105 --> 00:25:13.236
It's funny, they
were very strict,

566
00:25:13.305 --> 00:25:16.877
but my mom, she's a tough woman.

567
00:25:16.946 --> 00:25:18.549
She taught me how to be tough.

568
00:25:22.985 --> 00:25:24.852
As soon as I put
on those whites,

569
00:25:24.921 --> 00:25:28.350
I kind of just had
this weird, emotional,

570
00:25:28.419 --> 00:25:31.595
that weird feeling in
your throat like a lump.

571
00:25:31.664 --> 00:25:33.256
And it was really
emotional for me

572
00:25:33.325 --> 00:25:36.765
and I think that I
really wanted to try.

573
00:25:36.834 --> 00:25:38.899
I think I really fell
in love with the kitchen

574
00:25:38.968 --> 00:25:40.769
and the atmosphere.

575
00:25:42.400 --> 00:25:45.235
I think the biggest thing
is commitment, right?

576
00:25:45.304 --> 00:25:49.140
If you're not ready
to be committed 150%,

577
00:25:50.441 --> 00:25:53.848
then maybe you wanna wait
because once you go restaurant,

578
00:25:53.917 --> 00:25:55.016
you can't go un-restaurant.

579
00:25:55.085 --> 00:25:58.622
It's like, you got to
give it your all really.

580
00:26:09.702 --> 00:26:11.767
I grew up in an
immigrant family.

581
00:26:11.836 --> 00:26:13.868
My parents are from South Korea.

582
00:26:13.937 --> 00:26:17.036
They came over here, had my
sister and me and my brother.

583
00:26:17.105 --> 00:26:22.107
And they needed a work
obviously to support the family.

584
00:26:23.243 --> 00:26:24.253
We were raised by
our grandparents.

585
00:26:24.277 --> 00:26:26.782
My grandma is this
phenomenal cook.

586
00:26:26.851 --> 00:26:29.015
She grew all of her own produce.

587
00:26:29.084 --> 00:26:32.348
So we had this huge
garden in our backyard.

588
00:26:32.417 --> 00:26:36.825
And I remember growing up,
that was my favorite thing,

589
00:26:36.894 --> 00:26:38.761
hanging around with grandma,

590
00:26:38.830 --> 00:26:42.259
watering the garden,
picking all the produce

591
00:26:42.328 --> 00:26:43.997
and then using that produce

592
00:26:44.066 --> 00:26:45.966
to cook whatever she's
gonna cook at home.

593
00:26:46.035 --> 00:26:49.035
She made everything from
scratch like gochujang

594
00:26:49.104 --> 00:26:50.773
even soy sauce.

595
00:26:50.842 --> 00:26:53.237
Going to school, after
that I would run home

596
00:26:53.306 --> 00:26:57.076
to eat kalbi and kimchi with
my grandma and cook with her.

597
00:26:57.145 --> 00:27:00.442
And that was one of
my favorite memories

598
00:27:00.511 --> 00:27:02.312
of my childhood.

599
00:27:02.381 --> 00:27:04.149
My sister, we're
the Choi sisters.

600
00:27:06.385 --> 00:27:07.484
- The Choi sisters.
- Yeah.

601
00:27:07.553 --> 00:27:08.968
- It's like a nickname
that we had for a while.

602
00:27:08.992 --> 00:27:10.023
- For a long, yeah.

603
00:27:10.092 --> 00:27:11.354
- Are you super close?

604
00:27:11.423 --> 00:27:13.356
- Super, super
close, definitely.

605
00:27:13.425 --> 00:27:14.776
- People think
it's a little weird

606
00:27:14.800 --> 00:27:16.700
'cause we're too close.

607
00:27:16.769 --> 00:27:17.901
- In my life,

608
00:27:17.970 --> 00:27:21.034
my grandfather was kind
of like the stand-in dad

609
00:27:21.103 --> 00:27:24.906
so I understand your bond with
your grandmother especially.

610
00:27:24.975 --> 00:27:29.042
- She really taught me
sort of how to love food.

611
00:27:29.111 --> 00:27:31.440
It's not like she
taught me step-by-step

612
00:27:31.509 --> 00:27:32.980
how to make certain dishes.

613
00:27:33.049 --> 00:27:34.081
You know what I mean?

614
00:27:34.150 --> 00:27:36.819
It was more so her
philosophy of cooking

615
00:27:36.888 --> 00:27:39.789
and why you should
cook for people

616
00:27:39.858 --> 00:27:43.991
and how to show people
that you care through food.

617
00:27:44.060 --> 00:27:45.060
- Ready?

618
00:28:11.318 --> 00:28:13.955
- Our family motto
is love is patient

619
00:28:14.024 --> 00:28:16.089
and she's the one
who established that

620
00:28:16.158 --> 00:28:17.893
and it's from the Bible.

621
00:28:17.962 --> 00:28:21.094
It's very inspiring and
that's what we live by.

622
00:28:23.099 --> 00:28:25.769
- But there was one
period of my childhood

623
00:28:25.838 --> 00:28:29.300
where my parents literally
plucked me out of school,

624
00:28:29.369 --> 00:28:33.172
put me in a foreign
school in South Korea.

625
00:28:33.241 --> 00:28:34.241
It was really difficult,

626
00:28:34.275 --> 00:28:35.619
but it was such
an impactful time.

627
00:28:35.643 --> 00:28:40.278
Going back to sort of the roots
being around this culture,

628
00:28:40.347 --> 00:28:42.511
it made me appreciate
it a lot more.

629
00:28:42.580 --> 00:28:43.846
I remember the food.

630
00:28:43.915 --> 00:28:47.549
I remember the people, the
kids that I hung out with

631
00:28:47.618 --> 00:28:50.453
and it was very
inspirational for me.

632
00:28:50.522 --> 00:28:52.488
I went to school up
until sixth grade

633
00:28:52.557 --> 00:28:53.701
and then my parents
brought me back.

634
00:28:53.725 --> 00:28:56.558
I started working in a
restaurant when I was 14

635
00:28:56.627 --> 00:28:59.803
at a Korean Japanese
restaurant, really small.

636
00:28:59.872 --> 00:29:03.334
So I would run to work
and work till midnight

637
00:29:03.403 --> 00:29:05.270
and then go back to
school the next day.

638
00:29:05.339 --> 00:29:07.976
When I went to college and
graduated from college,

639
00:29:08.045 --> 00:29:10.077
I've always had restaurant jobs.

640
00:29:10.146 --> 00:29:12.948
I was falling in love
with it without knowing

641
00:29:13.017 --> 00:29:14.818
that I was falling
in love with it.

642
00:29:15.954 --> 00:29:17.546
- Esther would
find herself working

643
00:29:17.615 --> 00:29:20.483
amongst the biggest
names in food television.

644
00:29:20.552 --> 00:29:25.059
- Honestly, Food Network was
such a special time for me.

645
00:29:25.128 --> 00:29:27.490
Position that I chose
was more like working

646
00:29:27.559 --> 00:29:31.494
with all of the top chefs,
working on "Iron chef"

647
00:29:31.563 --> 00:29:34.101
and being probably one of
the most powerful people

648
00:29:34.170 --> 00:29:36.136
on the team because literally,

649
00:29:36.205 --> 00:29:38.435
I was the one buying
every single ingredient

650
00:29:38.504 --> 00:29:41.306
for all the chefs,
the whole kitchen,

651
00:29:41.375 --> 00:29:43.044
sourcing it from
all over the world,

652
00:29:43.113 --> 00:29:45.244
dealing with vendors, purveyors.

653
00:29:45.313 --> 00:29:47.279
It's like, if I didn't
have that position

654
00:29:47.348 --> 00:29:51.052
at the Food Network, I
probably wouldn't know

655
00:29:51.121 --> 00:29:53.285
how to do half the
shit that I do now.

656
00:29:53.354 --> 00:29:56.420
Growing up watching these
chefs on television,

657
00:29:56.489 --> 00:29:58.257
seeing what they
do, it's amazing.

658
00:29:58.326 --> 00:30:00.127
So it was always kind of there

659
00:30:00.196 --> 00:30:02.492
that I knew I wanted
to have my own place.

660
00:30:02.561 --> 00:30:03.894
And we came up with this concept

661
00:30:03.962 --> 00:30:09.037
of Korean ramen because ramen
at the time was on the rise.

662
00:30:10.338 --> 00:30:12.052
I remember the day because
it was New Year's Day,

663
00:30:12.076 --> 00:30:15.142
January 1st of
2014, they called me

664
00:30:15.211 --> 00:30:17.309
and told me that they're
gonna give me this space.

665
00:30:17.378 --> 00:30:20.015
And then that's
when the real scare,

666
00:30:20.084 --> 00:30:21.577
real fear started.

667
00:30:21.646 --> 00:30:24.415
Three weeks before I
was supposed to open,

668
00:30:24.484 --> 00:30:27.319
the one person that
I hired quit on me

669
00:30:27.388 --> 00:30:29.189
and then I had
literally no staff

670
00:30:29.258 --> 00:30:31.224
and I was supposed to
open in three weeks.

671
00:30:31.293 --> 00:30:35.294
My sister actually
quit her job to join me

672
00:30:35.363 --> 00:30:36.363
and help me open this.

673
00:30:36.397 --> 00:30:38.396
She kind of like
really came through

674
00:30:38.465 --> 00:30:41.300
and somehow we got
through it and we did it.

675
00:30:41.369 --> 00:30:43.500
- One of Esther's
culinary acquaintances

676
00:30:43.569 --> 00:30:46.635
is the incredible Chef Bao Bao.

677
00:30:46.704 --> 00:30:49.473
She joined us between
lunch and dinner service.

678
00:30:49.542 --> 00:30:52.278
- I feel like it is a
little bit intimidating

679
00:30:52.347 --> 00:30:54.280
in the beginning of course,

680
00:30:54.349 --> 00:30:59.318
but it's just about knowing
who you are and just embracing

681
00:31:00.421 --> 00:31:02.057
that you are the
female in the kitchen

682
00:31:02.126 --> 00:31:03.927
and it's fine, it's okay.

683
00:31:03.996 --> 00:31:05.654
There's different
skills that you can use

684
00:31:05.723 --> 00:31:07.931
as a female as opposed to male.

685
00:31:08.000 --> 00:31:11.935
And honestly, I really don't
even like to discriminate like,

686
00:31:12.004 --> 00:31:13.464
"Oh, that person's a female."

687
00:31:13.533 --> 00:31:16.973
And my kitchen, I would
say it's very 50/50.

688
00:31:17.042 --> 00:31:19.668
Actually, more women work
in my kitchen than men.

689
00:31:19.737 --> 00:31:20.737
- Mine too.

690
00:31:20.771 --> 00:31:21.848
- It just happens
to be like that.

691
00:31:21.872 --> 00:31:23.016
- Do you think that
because you're women,

692
00:31:23.040 --> 00:31:25.613
you attract more women
to work in your kitchen?

693
00:31:25.682 --> 00:31:30.085
- Yes, and also a background
story also attach those people

694
00:31:30.154 --> 00:31:32.956
to come in because they
also believe in themselves

695
00:31:33.025 --> 00:31:34.320
that why can't I?

696
00:31:34.389 --> 00:31:36.619
If male can do it, why can't I?

697
00:31:36.688 --> 00:31:38.621
I just wanna show the skill

698
00:31:38.690 --> 00:31:42.295
and trying to prove
that they can do it too.

699
00:31:42.364 --> 00:31:47.102
So, I mean in Asia,
most of family,

700
00:31:47.171 --> 00:31:50.138
the female will be the
best cook in the family.

701
00:31:51.439 --> 00:31:55.242
We don't see that many
males cook in our hometown,

702
00:31:55.311 --> 00:31:57.046
I mean in our country.

703
00:31:57.115 --> 00:32:00.115
But just when I moved
here to this country,

704
00:32:00.184 --> 00:32:01.479
I see so many male chefs

705
00:32:01.548 --> 00:32:03.052
and I was like, "Wow!"

706
00:32:03.121 --> 00:32:04.165
- Where's all the females?

707
00:32:04.189 --> 00:32:05.648
- Yeah, where's all the females?

708
00:32:07.059 --> 00:32:08.358
- As I continued hearing

709
00:32:08.427 --> 00:32:11.192
how each of these chefs found
their passion for cooking,

710
00:32:11.261 --> 00:32:12.701
I had found out
about a rising star

711
00:32:12.757 --> 00:32:15.229
in Harlem, Juliet Masters.

712
00:32:15.298 --> 00:32:18.628
So I drove to The Edge to
hear her incredible journey.

713
00:32:18.697 --> 00:32:22.269
♪ You look so lovable ♪

714
00:32:22.338 --> 00:32:24.469
- This business
would not exist without family

715
00:32:24.538 --> 00:32:27.241
and it's not just
our immediate family,

716
00:32:27.310 --> 00:32:30.310
but it's the family that
we have in the kitchen,

717
00:32:30.379 --> 00:32:32.411
all the people who work with us.

718
00:32:32.480 --> 00:32:35.612
We have people who have been
with us from the beginning.

719
00:32:40.818 --> 00:32:43.290
And then we have the
family of the neighborhood.

720
00:32:43.359 --> 00:32:45.556
We have a beautiful,
lovely neighborhood.

721
00:32:45.625 --> 00:32:47.558
And we have a lot of
people who walk by

722
00:32:47.627 --> 00:32:49.659
and stick their
head in and say hi

723
00:32:49.728 --> 00:32:51.760
and know us when we come out.

724
00:32:51.829 --> 00:32:53.062
They look out for us.

725
00:32:53.130 --> 00:32:56.336
So the family includes
obviously our immediate family,

726
00:32:56.405 --> 00:32:58.305
but it spreads out
to our community.

727
00:32:58.374 --> 00:33:01.308
The people who have supported
us who live down the block.

728
00:33:01.377 --> 00:33:05.510
Family is the backbone
of this business.

729
00:33:09.616 --> 00:33:14.519
It trickles from Justine and
Juliet, to Justine and Juliet,

730
00:33:14.588 --> 00:33:18.457
and mommy and daddy and son,
and then to kitchen staff,

731
00:33:18.526 --> 00:33:21.262
and to floor staff and
out into our community.

732
00:33:26.501 --> 00:33:27.763
We are Harlem.

733
00:33:28.668 --> 00:33:30.205
We've lived here for 20 years.

734
00:33:30.274 --> 00:33:31.470
We're from New York.

735
00:33:32.672 --> 00:33:34.242
So for us to open up this space,

736
00:33:34.311 --> 00:33:36.442
it's paying homage to the spirit

737
00:33:36.511 --> 00:33:39.742
of those who've come before
us, but also to the fact

738
00:33:39.811 --> 00:33:42.481
that this the community
demanded this space

739
00:33:42.550 --> 00:33:43.614
to be born as well.

740
00:33:45.850 --> 00:33:49.554
- The Edge sits on
Edgecombe Avenue in Harlem.

741
00:33:49.623 --> 00:33:51.325
On Wednesdays, the
restaurant is filled

742
00:33:51.394 --> 00:33:54.625
with subtle musical notes
from jazz musicians,

743
00:33:54.694 --> 00:33:58.398
beautiful words of poets and
others that are a reminder

744
00:33:58.467 --> 00:34:01.335
of the heritage that
fills this space.

745
00:34:01.404 --> 00:34:03.238
On the roof of this building,

746
00:34:03.307 --> 00:34:07.275
notables such as Langston
Hughes, Ethel Ray Nance,

747
00:34:07.344 --> 00:34:10.377
and Regina M. Anderson
shared philosophies

748
00:34:10.446 --> 00:34:14.513
and literary art that lends
to the history of Harlem.

749
00:34:14.582 --> 00:34:18.682
And now, it's home to two
sisters whose close family ties

750
00:34:18.751 --> 00:34:20.783
were the right recipe
to have what it takes

751
00:34:20.852 --> 00:34:22.785
to open this restaurant.

752
00:34:22.854 --> 00:34:25.128
Justine runs the
front of the house

753
00:34:25.197 --> 00:34:27.460
and Juliet is the
heart of the kitchen.

754
00:34:29.201 --> 00:34:31.695
- I always told Justine as
her older sister I said,

755
00:34:31.764 --> 00:34:34.137
"One day we're gonna
do something together."

756
00:34:35.636 --> 00:34:38.240
Life before the internet
and phones and all that,

757
00:34:38.309 --> 00:34:39.604
there was a lot of pretend games

758
00:34:39.673 --> 00:34:40.939
so we pretended a lot.

759
00:34:41.008 --> 00:34:44.510
One of the things we pretended
was having restaurants

760
00:34:44.579 --> 00:34:45.611
and serving people.

761
00:34:45.680 --> 00:34:48.481
We were the hostesses,
would make menus

762
00:34:48.550 --> 00:34:51.550
and prepare grapefruit
and serve to my parents

763
00:34:51.619 --> 00:34:52.852
with orange juice.

764
00:34:52.920 --> 00:34:55.851
We grew up as best friends.
- Using our imagination.

765
00:34:55.920 --> 00:34:57.721
- And using our imagination.

766
00:34:57.790 --> 00:35:02.198
We have remained best
friends throughout life.

767
00:35:02.267 --> 00:35:04.365
We're not identical,
we're not twins

768
00:35:04.434 --> 00:35:07.830
although everyone asks us
every day, "Are we twins?"

769
00:35:07.899 --> 00:35:09.898
- Juliet Masters
discovered the flavors

770
00:35:09.967 --> 00:35:12.901
of her childhood living
in three distinct regions

771
00:35:12.970 --> 00:35:14.036
of the world.

772
00:35:14.104 --> 00:35:17.378
- New York wasn't that
easy where we lived

773
00:35:17.447 --> 00:35:18.546
and when we lived there.

774
00:35:18.615 --> 00:35:20.810
So they took one look
at their surroundings,

775
00:35:20.879 --> 00:35:22.145
they were like,

776
00:35:22.214 --> 00:35:24.649
"let's take our daughters
to Jamaica and let's live

777
00:35:25.620 --> 00:35:27.355
"in a tropical Island."

778
00:35:27.424 --> 00:35:30.853
And one of the jobs in Jamaica
is as a chef or a helper.

779
00:35:30.922 --> 00:35:33.229
My parents didn't
necessarily need a helper,

780
00:35:33.298 --> 00:35:35.594
but we had Becky as
part of our family.

781
00:35:35.663 --> 00:35:36.762
She cooked for our family.

782
00:35:36.831 --> 00:35:39.400
And I was to go into
the kitchen with Becky

783
00:35:39.469 --> 00:35:42.469
and watch how everything
was from scratch.

784
00:35:42.538 --> 00:35:45.340
Things that you make in
Jamaica like Johnny cakes

785
00:35:45.409 --> 00:35:47.210
and fried dumplings
and festivals.

786
00:35:47.279 --> 00:35:48.784
She might've been one
of the first people

787
00:35:48.808 --> 00:35:53.414
to start igniting the
fires, that culinary desire

788
00:35:53.483 --> 00:35:54.682
that I was going down.

789
00:35:54.751 --> 00:35:58.485
In England, both of my
aunts were entrepreneurs.

790
00:35:58.554 --> 00:36:01.818
I have examples, living
examples of people doing this.

791
00:36:03.295 --> 00:36:05.558
I had my son, I
was in my twenties.

792
00:36:05.627 --> 00:36:10.233
I was working full-time for
music for Def Jam Records

793
00:36:10.302 --> 00:36:11.302
as an assistant.

794
00:36:11.369 --> 00:36:12.501
And then I had my son.

795
00:36:12.570 --> 00:36:13.714
They were like, "Okay,
see you in six weeks."

796
00:36:13.738 --> 00:36:18.406
I was like, "Oh no, no
way, no, not six weeks.

797
00:36:18.475 --> 00:36:21.607
"I will take care of my child
rather than pay somebody else

798
00:36:21.676 --> 00:36:22.806
"and I'll figure it out."

799
00:36:22.875 --> 00:36:23.974
I got into catering

800
00:36:24.043 --> 00:36:26.777
because catering you got
paid 20 bucks an hour

801
00:36:26.846 --> 00:36:27.856
and it was five hours shifts

802
00:36:27.880 --> 00:36:28.924
so it was something
that I could do.

803
00:36:28.948 --> 00:36:32.453
Maybe I can go behind
and start working

804
00:36:32.522 --> 00:36:33.522
in the back of the house.

805
00:36:33.556 --> 00:36:35.489
It was right then
when I realized

806
00:36:35.558 --> 00:36:38.393
that I really liked the
preparation of food.

807
00:36:38.462 --> 00:36:40.692
Researched the Natural
Gourmet Institute.

808
00:36:40.761 --> 00:36:44.498
It began there and just
grew very organically.

809
00:36:50.342 --> 00:36:54.838
- It wasn't a surprise to
me that she chose this path.

810
00:36:54.907 --> 00:36:58.875
What is more surprising is how
successful it quickly became.

811
00:36:58.944 --> 00:37:01.009
- I think Juliet
was able to do it

812
00:37:01.078 --> 00:37:03.682
because Justine was able to say,

813
00:37:03.751 --> 00:37:04.751
"If you don't do it now,

814
00:37:04.819 --> 00:37:07.290
"it may never be
there for you again."

815
00:37:07.359 --> 00:37:10.623
- Either you take this or
you walk by this every day

816
00:37:10.692 --> 00:37:12.053
and pissed off that you didn't

817
00:37:12.122 --> 00:37:14.594
because you're gonna
be living upstairs.

818
00:37:18.634 --> 00:37:21.799
And I was like, "Oh shit, I
better put a menu together."

819
00:37:22.935 --> 00:37:23.700
No, I'm serious.

820
00:37:23.769 --> 00:37:25.102
Basically, we broke it down.

821
00:37:25.171 --> 00:37:28.641
We can do Jamaica, we can do
England and we can do New York.

822
00:37:28.710 --> 00:37:30.750
And let's pick a few things
from those three places

823
00:37:30.778 --> 00:37:31.944
and that'll be the menu.

824
00:37:32.013 --> 00:37:33.976
- This is the type of
space that when you see it,

825
00:37:34.045 --> 00:37:36.319
it demanded to be born.

826
00:37:36.388 --> 00:37:39.520
It is very in line
with our personalities.

827
00:37:39.589 --> 00:37:41.016
It's off the beaten path.

828
00:37:41.085 --> 00:37:43.953
It's intimate, it's
cozy, it's warm

829
00:37:44.022 --> 00:37:47.396
'cause Juliet and I definitely
didn't have a business plan

830
00:37:47.465 --> 00:37:48.805
and definitely didn't
have any money.

831
00:37:48.829 --> 00:37:51.334
There was no option
to fail here.

832
00:37:51.403 --> 00:37:52.602
- As a woman,

833
00:37:52.671 --> 00:37:56.339
you have maybe a few extra
layers to push through

834
00:37:56.408 --> 00:37:57.736
to get to where you're going.

835
00:37:57.805 --> 00:38:00.970
You can't be afraid to
do the heavy lifting

836
00:38:01.039 --> 00:38:02.103
and the dirty work.

837
00:38:02.172 --> 00:38:05.876
You can't stay in the box.

838
00:38:05.945 --> 00:38:09.682
You have to be able to
do whatever it takes.

839
00:38:09.751 --> 00:38:11.062
- You have to
pay attention as a woman.

840
00:38:11.086 --> 00:38:12.430
- You have to pay
attention to the details.

841
00:38:12.454 --> 00:38:15.017
- You have to know everybody's
position in your business

842
00:38:15.086 --> 00:38:18.361
so that if they're not
there, you can do their job

843
00:38:18.430 --> 00:38:21.089
or you know that if they're
doing their job well or not.

844
00:38:21.158 --> 00:38:24.664
It's having to maybe
even be more sharper

845
00:38:24.733 --> 00:38:25.863
because you're a woman.

846
00:38:28.506 --> 00:38:31.440
- We have a kitchen
that is all male.

847
00:38:32.906 --> 00:38:35.543
Sometimes as a woman,
when you are the boss,

848
00:38:35.612 --> 00:38:39.008
you have to work harder
to earn your respect.

849
00:38:40.111 --> 00:38:42.814
- To assert yourself
as the boss.

850
00:38:42.883 --> 00:38:46.752
To just do what I say please.

851
00:38:46.821 --> 00:38:47.963
- People feel they
have more leeway

852
00:38:47.987 --> 00:38:49.557
with you when you're a woman.

853
00:38:50.927 --> 00:38:53.660
There are more excuses or
there's more of a conversation

854
00:38:53.729 --> 00:38:54.925
than there needs to be.

855
00:38:54.994 --> 00:38:58.599
And I feel as women,
we're required

856
00:38:58.668 --> 00:39:03.604
to engage our masculine energy
in order to be the boss.

857
00:39:04.872 --> 00:39:08.411
So it's important as
a woman to do that,

858
00:39:08.480 --> 00:39:10.072
but then to also
find the balance

859
00:39:11.109 --> 00:39:12.153
to do things that are feminine

860
00:39:12.177 --> 00:39:14.978
so that you're balancing
those energies.

861
00:39:15.047 --> 00:39:16.113
- As a chef,

862
00:39:16.181 --> 00:39:17.592
I'm aware that
opportunities come knocking

863
00:39:17.616 --> 00:39:21.688
and you have to have a certain
toughness to answer the call.

864
00:39:21.757 --> 00:39:23.822
As Hillary Sterling
got opportunities,

865
00:39:23.891 --> 00:39:25.692
not only did she answer them,

866
00:39:25.761 --> 00:39:27.826
but she also rewrote
the conversation

867
00:39:27.895 --> 00:39:29.795
on what it is to be the best.

868
00:39:33.868 --> 00:39:36.802
- Food is about passion and
it's supposed to be fun.

869
00:39:36.871 --> 00:39:39.167
And this is what we do for
living and we chose it.

870
00:39:39.236 --> 00:39:40.335
It didn't choose us.

871
00:39:40.404 --> 00:39:42.841
We actually went out
and sought this career

872
00:39:42.910 --> 00:39:45.679
in this industry and
just don't give up.

873
00:39:45.748 --> 00:39:47.714
All right, let's
go, I need 17 cacio.

874
00:39:49.048 --> 00:39:53.456
One half, one no cheese, one
no butter, one no pepper.

875
00:39:54.559 --> 00:39:58.626
We do the same thing
every day give or take.

876
00:39:58.695 --> 00:40:01.123
A vegetable, a
protein, a person.

877
00:40:01.192 --> 00:40:04.632
We need four tomato
pizzas, one pepperoni,

878
00:40:04.701 --> 00:40:06.898
and one rapini please.

879
00:40:06.967 --> 00:40:08.636
I got two more carrots guys.

880
00:40:08.705 --> 00:40:09.946
If you want it, you can have it.

881
00:40:09.970 --> 00:40:11.804
You just cannot give up.

882
00:40:11.873 --> 00:40:13.039
And it doesn't matter

883
00:40:13.108 --> 00:40:14.908
if you cry in the walk-in
'cause everyone has

884
00:40:14.942 --> 00:40:16.171
and everyone does it.

885
00:40:16.240 --> 00:40:18.514
Guys and girls don't be fooled,

886
00:40:18.583 --> 00:40:19.382
just don't give up.

887
00:40:19.451 --> 00:40:21.616
Honestly, I stand by that 100%

888
00:40:21.685 --> 00:40:24.751
and allow you to be nurtured.

889
00:40:24.820 --> 00:40:27.820
Ask questions and
don't just assume.

890
00:40:27.889 --> 00:40:29.558
Even if I'm crazy some days,

891
00:40:31.563 --> 00:40:33.694
if you ask me a question,
I'm always gonna stop

892
00:40:33.763 --> 00:40:36.829
and give you some long
answer or short answer

893
00:40:36.898 --> 00:40:39.898
or I'm gonna help
you through your day.

894
00:40:39.967 --> 00:40:40.833
More carrots please.

895
00:40:40.902 --> 00:40:41.902
Get it in the pan.

896
00:40:43.300 --> 00:40:44.903
Let's go, I need one
more onions Daniel

897
00:40:44.972 --> 00:40:46.069
in the corner, come on.

898
00:40:47.172 --> 00:40:49.138
We don't let people
fail in this kitchen.

899
00:40:49.207 --> 00:40:51.778
There's no heroes
we'd like to say.

900
00:40:51.847 --> 00:40:53.080
You're going down,

901
00:40:53.148 --> 00:40:55.210
I'll be the first person
on the line to dig you out

902
00:40:56.115 --> 00:40:57.619
as long as you tried.

903
00:40:57.688 --> 00:40:59.819
You guys fire seven
more cocktail.

904
00:40:59.888 --> 00:41:01.656
Fire three chicken.

905
00:41:01.725 --> 00:41:03.922
Fire two tomato pizzas please.

906
00:41:03.991 --> 00:41:06.859
This job doesn't end when
the restaurant closes,

907
00:41:06.928 --> 00:41:08.227
it never ends.

908
00:41:08.296 --> 00:41:10.929
There's constant, constant
studying that needs to get done.

909
00:41:10.998 --> 00:41:12.297
And I think the smarter you are

910
00:41:12.366 --> 00:41:15.538
and the more comfortable you
are with food and knowledge

911
00:41:15.607 --> 00:41:18.838
and cooking principles, you
can go wherever you wanna go,

912
00:41:18.907 --> 00:41:20.268
just don't give up.

913
00:41:20.337 --> 00:41:21.973
Good morning to you, welcome.

914
00:41:22.042 --> 00:41:24.976
- We're on our way to
Vic's down in Noho.

915
00:41:26.112 --> 00:41:28.111
Tell me what you love
about this neighborhood?

916
00:41:28.180 --> 00:41:29.424
- I think this neighborhood
still has a little bit

917
00:41:29.448 --> 00:41:33.622
of realness to it especially
on Bowery over here,

918
00:41:33.691 --> 00:41:35.723
but there's such a community.

919
00:41:35.792 --> 00:41:38.253
There's seven to eight
to nine restaurants

920
00:41:38.322 --> 00:41:41.157
in literally half
a block radius.

921
00:41:41.226 --> 00:41:42.895
And it's really nice.

922
00:41:42.964 --> 00:41:44.241
We see each other
in the morning.

923
00:41:44.265 --> 00:41:46.965
We say hi, we all get coffee
at each other's places

924
00:41:47.034 --> 00:41:49.330
and it's a little
family oriented block.

925
00:41:49.399 --> 00:41:51.002
Great Jones is only
two blocks long.

926
00:41:51.071 --> 00:41:52.168
Hey Art.
- Hello.

927
00:41:53.304 --> 00:41:54.103
- Look at this.
- Hi.

928
00:41:54.172 --> 00:41:54.970
- You have quite a bounty today.

929
00:41:55.039 --> 00:41:56.942
- Yeah, what do you have here?

930
00:41:57.011 --> 00:41:58.011
- What do we got?

931
00:41:58.079 --> 00:41:59.648
- We got all this
50 pounds of food.

932
00:41:59.717 --> 00:42:00.781
- Yeah sorry, my bad.

933
00:42:01.917 --> 00:42:04.114
So we got the snap peas
today from Phillips.

934
00:42:04.183 --> 00:42:06.985
I think the most important
thing is grazing at the market.

935
00:42:07.054 --> 00:42:08.086
You gotta eat, right?

936
00:42:08.155 --> 00:42:10.186
But, we have such an
amazing opportunity

937
00:42:10.255 --> 00:42:12.991
to actually taste
food before we buy it.

938
00:42:13.060 --> 00:42:14.326
So we have a whole market.

939
00:42:14.395 --> 00:42:16.402
I mean, this stuff is all
ordered and we go get it,

940
00:42:16.426 --> 00:42:17.670
but if we don't
go to the markets

941
00:42:17.694 --> 00:42:21.637
and actually taste the
food, what say we get home

942
00:42:21.706 --> 00:42:22.935
and these taste like nothing?

943
00:42:23.004 --> 00:42:24.410
- Yeah.
- Sometimes I do feel guilty

944
00:42:24.434 --> 00:42:25.474
if you're grazing too much

945
00:42:25.502 --> 00:42:28.270
of the market like
having breakfast.

946
00:42:28.339 --> 00:42:29.516
- Thank you guys, see you later.

947
00:42:29.540 --> 00:42:31.417
- Especially with berry
season, you can get away

948
00:42:31.441 --> 00:42:32.549
with so many.

949
00:42:33.952 --> 00:42:36.685
- The Jewish delis in
Sheepshead Bay she frequented

950
00:42:36.754 --> 00:42:39.215
as a child are a far cry

951
00:42:39.284 --> 00:42:42.218
from the incredible Italian
dishes she delivers today.

952
00:42:42.287 --> 00:42:46.222
- I grew up in Brooklyn,
two parents, both working.

953
00:42:46.291 --> 00:42:48.961
We did have the pleasure of
having my grandparents living

954
00:42:49.030 --> 00:42:50.062
in the same house.

955
00:42:50.131 --> 00:42:52.327
So they came back and
forth from Florida.

956
00:42:52.396 --> 00:42:54.769
So six months of the year,
the food was different.

957
00:42:54.838 --> 00:42:58.168
My mom wasn't that into
reinventing the wheel,

958
00:42:58.237 --> 00:43:00.841
needless to say in food that's
the nice way of saying it

959
00:43:00.910 --> 00:43:02.678
so we ate a lot of takeout.

960
00:43:02.747 --> 00:43:04.384
We ate a lot of cream
cheese sandwiches.

961
00:43:04.408 --> 00:43:06.023
This is like this one
thing that haunts me still

962
00:43:06.047 --> 00:43:08.651
to this day, but that's
all my parents knew.

963
00:43:08.720 --> 00:43:10.258
It's still the same
neighborhood still

964
00:43:10.282 --> 00:43:11.282
to this day in Brooklyn.

965
00:43:11.316 --> 00:43:13.051
There's no fine
dining out there.

966
00:43:13.120 --> 00:43:14.888
There's nothing, but
what is still there.

967
00:43:14.957 --> 00:43:17.385
So I think it was more
of like this interest.

968
00:43:17.454 --> 00:43:19.354
My grandparents would
come up from Florida

969
00:43:19.423 --> 00:43:21.730
and then the food
would be different.

970
00:43:21.799 --> 00:43:23.963
The smells in the house
would change every day

971
00:43:24.032 --> 00:43:25.272
and you'd come home from school

972
00:43:25.300 --> 00:43:27.308
and there was something
that I'd never seen before,

973
00:43:27.332 --> 00:43:28.332
I'd never gotten to eat.

974
00:43:28.366 --> 00:43:30.673
But those smells,
it's the smells.

975
00:43:30.742 --> 00:43:31.986
It's my grandmother's
stuffed cabbage.

976
00:43:32.010 --> 00:43:34.677
It's all those things
that kind of intrigued me.

977
00:43:34.746 --> 00:43:36.152
This is a hot commodity
in the kitchen.

978
00:43:36.176 --> 00:43:38.142
Basil, we use so much
basil in the kitchen

979
00:43:38.211 --> 00:43:40.045
that as soon as it comes in,

980
00:43:40.114 --> 00:43:41.816
the cooks that need it the most,

981
00:43:41.885 --> 00:43:45.149
they will literally grab
it, hide it and protect it.

982
00:43:45.218 --> 00:43:47.448
- While vacationers
and the New York elite

983
00:43:47.517 --> 00:43:50.825
sipped their cocktails on
the beaches of Montauk,

984
00:43:50.894 --> 00:43:53.696
in her teenage years,
Hillary Sterling worked

985
00:43:53.765 --> 00:43:57.832
in the front of the house at
two busy Long Island hotspots.

986
00:43:57.901 --> 00:44:00.395
- One year I worked in a
breakfast spot in the hotels

987
00:44:00.464 --> 00:44:02.232
on the beach so it
was totally different.

988
00:44:02.301 --> 00:44:04.938
And one summer I worked in an
Irish pub called O'Murphy's.

989
00:44:05.007 --> 00:44:06.017
That was a family run restaurant

990
00:44:06.041 --> 00:44:07.348
and I realized that
I do love working

991
00:44:07.372 --> 00:44:08.638
in smaller environments.

992
00:44:08.707 --> 00:44:11.307
After college, I worked at
a bar across from Wrigley

993
00:44:11.376 --> 00:44:14.079
which I have to say was probably
one of my more fun summers.

994
00:44:14.148 --> 00:44:15.850
If you know anything
about Cubs fans,

995
00:44:15.919 --> 00:44:17.819
they've never won until
a couple of years ago

996
00:44:17.888 --> 00:44:20.723
so they drank a lot and
they had a lot of fun.

997
00:44:20.792 --> 00:44:23.253
- Hillary had banked
up enough money to travel.

998
00:44:23.322 --> 00:44:25.827
Along the way, she
would discover a dish

999
00:44:25.896 --> 00:44:28.896
that would forever
follow her Cacio e Pepe.

1000
00:44:28.965 --> 00:44:30.778
- I was traveling with a
friend from culinary school

1001
00:44:30.802 --> 00:44:32.966
and he's like, "I really
wanna go to Milan."

1002
00:44:33.035 --> 00:44:34.935
I'm like, "Amazing, I've
never been to Italy.

1003
00:44:35.004 --> 00:44:37.135
"I have money still, let's go."

1004
00:44:37.204 --> 00:44:38.248
And as we're getting
to the airport,

1005
00:44:38.272 --> 00:44:40.402
he tells me he doesn't
have any money.

1006
00:44:41.813 --> 00:44:42.879
So I got on the plane.

1007
00:44:42.947 --> 00:44:46.078
I found myself traveling
by myself for months

1008
00:44:46.147 --> 00:44:46.946
and I loved it.

1009
00:44:47.015 --> 00:44:48.158
The next day I went and looked

1010
00:44:48.182 --> 00:44:50.280
at the Duomo and I had
no one to look at it

1011
00:44:50.349 --> 00:44:51.458
and be like, "Oh my
God, this is amazing."

1012
00:44:51.482 --> 00:44:52.681
And I was like,

1013
00:44:52.750 --> 00:44:54.362
"Well, I don't need anybody
to say, it's amazing."

1014
00:44:54.386 --> 00:44:55.989
I was like, "This is amazing."

1015
00:44:56.058 --> 00:44:57.155
I met some people.

1016
00:44:57.224 --> 00:44:58.926
I found the hostel chain.

1017
00:44:58.995 --> 00:45:01.423
I went to Rome, I went to
Sorento, I went to Naples.

1018
00:45:01.492 --> 00:45:02.891
I just kept going.

1019
00:45:02.960 --> 00:45:07.165
I started learning about Italian, real
Roman classic food.

1020
00:45:07.234 --> 00:45:09.904
The trifecta as we
call it in the kitchen,

1021
00:45:09.973 --> 00:45:12.071
cacio e pepe, amatriciana
and carbonara.

1022
00:45:12.140 --> 00:45:13.417
And then I started
eating them never knowing

1023
00:45:13.441 --> 00:45:17.846
that this is gonna follow
me around forever, forever.

1024
00:45:17.915 --> 00:45:20.849
My lifelong passion
is pasta with pepper.

1025
00:45:20.918 --> 00:45:23.181
In my memory, this was
the beginning of my path

1026
00:45:23.250 --> 00:45:25.447
of falling in love
with Italian food.

1027
00:45:25.516 --> 00:45:30.452
There is a code of cacio e
pepe, no butter, no cream

1028
00:45:31.896 --> 00:45:34.159
and usually there's
no parm either,

1029
00:45:34.228 --> 00:45:36.733
but we break some rules here.

1030
00:45:40.905 --> 00:45:42.271
- Hillary's career was launched

1031
00:45:42.340 --> 00:45:47.403
by working for two iron chefs,
Bobby Flay and Mario Batali.

1032
00:45:49.441 --> 00:45:51.176
- I was actually super lost.

1033
00:45:51.245 --> 00:45:53.244
I remember I was sleeping
on my sister's couch

1034
00:45:53.313 --> 00:45:54.313
on Thompson street.

1035
00:45:54.347 --> 00:45:56.280
I had literally
no idea what to do

1036
00:45:56.349 --> 00:45:57.626
so I was answering
Craigslist ads.

1037
00:45:57.650 --> 00:46:01.186
Christine Sanchez happened
to actually call me back

1038
00:46:01.255 --> 00:46:04.090
and she took a shot
on me at Mesa grill.

1039
00:46:04.159 --> 00:46:07.159
And the chef was out of
town so he kind of showed up

1040
00:46:07.228 --> 00:46:10.965
and I'm just like in his
kitchen not having a clue

1041
00:46:11.034 --> 00:46:12.233
what I was doing.

1042
00:46:12.302 --> 00:46:14.145
Bobby walks in the kitchen,
tastes that cream sauce

1043
00:46:14.169 --> 00:46:15.233
and it was totally wrong.

1044
00:46:15.302 --> 00:46:16.465
It was roasted cream sauce.

1045
00:46:16.534 --> 00:46:17.466
I don't know how it was wrong.

1046
00:46:17.535 --> 00:46:18.644
And he's like,
"Did you taste it?"

1047
00:46:18.668 --> 00:46:20.502
And I said, "No."

1048
00:46:20.571 --> 00:46:22.504
I don't know why
I didn't taste it.

1049
00:46:22.573 --> 00:46:25.441
And he looks at me and
he goes, "Never assume."

1050
00:46:26.577 --> 00:46:27.176
And then walked
out of the kitchen.

1051
00:46:27.244 --> 00:46:28.477
He wasn't pleased.

1052
00:46:28.546 --> 00:46:31.381
And I still do line checks
to this day, every day.

1053
00:46:31.450 --> 00:46:34.021
It was a really a rude awakening

1054
00:46:34.090 --> 00:46:37.387
of what New York restaurants
were going to be like

1055
00:46:37.456 --> 00:46:40.423
at that time until
you figured it out.

1056
00:46:40.492 --> 00:46:42.206
It was honestly still
one of my favorite jobs.

1057
00:46:42.230 --> 00:46:45.263
It taught me a lot
about getting along

1058
00:46:45.332 --> 00:46:47.496
with the staff front and
back, being together,

1059
00:46:47.565 --> 00:46:48.798
being in a family.

1060
00:46:48.866 --> 00:46:52.600
It was a restaurant I really
truly loved working in.

1061
00:46:52.669 --> 00:46:53.968
After Bolo and Mesa land,

1062
00:46:54.037 --> 00:46:58.144
I went to Lupa for three
years and kind of fell in love

1063
00:46:58.213 --> 00:46:59.512
with that Italian food.

1064
00:46:59.581 --> 00:47:03.886
It brought me back to my solo
days of traveling in Italy.

1065
00:47:03.955 --> 00:47:04.854
- Ayesha Nurdjaja stopped by

1066
00:47:04.923 --> 00:47:07.285
to make some pizzas
with Hillary.

1067
00:47:07.354 --> 00:47:10.585
Ayesha runs the Mediterranean
inspired restaurant Shuka.

1068
00:47:10.654 --> 00:47:12.224
She is a fellow lady boss

1069
00:47:12.293 --> 00:47:14.655
and one of Hillary's
most valued friends.

1070
00:47:14.724 --> 00:47:15.724
- When I first started,

1071
00:47:15.758 --> 00:47:18.296
I went to Lidia
Bastianich at Felidia

1072
00:47:18.365 --> 00:47:19.375
which was an amazing experience.

1073
00:47:19.399 --> 00:47:21.596
She had been an
inspiration to me.

1074
00:47:21.665 --> 00:47:22.464
- Through this experience,

1075
00:47:22.533 --> 00:47:24.599
we've found it pretty beautiful

1076
00:47:24.668 --> 00:47:28.570
that a lot of a lot of
us support each other

1077
00:47:28.639 --> 00:47:30.979
through this kind of
crazy thing that we do.

1078
00:47:32.313 --> 00:47:33.045
Are you surprised?

1079
00:47:33.114 --> 00:47:34.194
- I'm not surprised at all.

1080
00:47:34.248 --> 00:47:35.259
I think we should, I
think we should more.

1081
00:47:35.283 --> 00:47:36.326
- A lot of times
we'll go to events

1082
00:47:36.350 --> 00:47:38.414
and there are other
female chefs there

1083
00:47:38.483 --> 00:47:40.099
and then we try our best
introduce ourselves,

1084
00:47:40.123 --> 00:47:41.253
"Hi, my name is Aisha.

1085
00:47:41.322 --> 00:47:42.322
"This is Hillary."

1086
00:47:42.356 --> 00:47:44.223
And then some women
are standoffish.

1087
00:47:44.292 --> 00:47:46.060
And I don't know if
it's a competitive thing

1088
00:47:46.129 --> 00:47:49.459
'cause there's such few
women in the culinary field,

1089
00:47:49.528 --> 00:47:50.638
but I think as the days go on

1090
00:47:50.662 --> 00:47:52.627
especially from this
year moving forward,

1091
00:47:52.696 --> 00:47:55.267
there hopefully will be more
of a support for each other.

1092
00:47:55.336 --> 00:47:57.269
- Another prominent
restaurant entrepreneur

1093
00:47:57.338 --> 00:47:58.538
is facing claims of harassment

1094
00:47:58.606 --> 00:48:01.339
as more accusations emerge
against Mario Batali.

1095
00:48:01.408 --> 00:48:04.177
- Mario Batali, the celebrity
chef who has been accused

1096
00:48:04.246 --> 00:48:06.542
by at least nine women
of sexual harassment.

1097
00:48:06.611 --> 00:48:09.116
- Mario Batali has
been taken off the show

1098
00:48:09.185 --> 00:48:10.953
amid sexual harassment
allegations.

1099
00:48:11.022 --> 00:48:13.648
- The culture of
our society is changing.

1100
00:48:13.717 --> 00:48:17.025
Mario Batali is at the center
of a major conversation

1101
00:48:17.094 --> 00:48:19.720
about bad behavior
and abusive power.

1102
00:48:19.789 --> 00:48:22.624
I knew coming here that she
had previously worked for him.

1103
00:48:22.693 --> 00:48:25.495
I wondered if she'd
had a similar story.

1104
00:48:25.564 --> 00:48:27.299
- I don't have a
bad word to say.

1105
00:48:29.172 --> 00:48:29.771
I'm a worker.

1106
00:48:29.839 --> 00:48:30.731
I put my head down.

1107
00:48:30.800 --> 00:48:31.941
I did my job.

1108
00:48:33.044 --> 00:48:35.010
It was an honor to
work for these people

1109
00:48:35.079 --> 00:48:36.551
and during their time
and to be allowed to work

1110
00:48:36.575 --> 00:48:39.542
in the restaurants
and to cook the food.

1111
00:48:39.611 --> 00:48:41.643
I don't have any stories.

1112
00:48:41.712 --> 00:48:42.978
I know it's crazy.

1113
00:48:43.047 --> 00:48:44.757
I don't know how I've gotten
through all these years,

1114
00:48:44.781 --> 00:48:46.549
but I've made it.

1115
00:48:54.131 --> 00:48:57.065
I'm sure some of the
behavior there is valid

1116
00:48:57.134 --> 00:48:58.210
in those people
that felt that way.

1117
00:48:58.234 --> 00:48:59.533
They obviously felt that way

1118
00:48:59.602 --> 00:49:03.005
and they were obviously treated
in a way that wasn't okay.

1119
00:49:03.074 --> 00:49:05.667
I happened to get out
unscathed in this manner,

1120
00:49:05.736 --> 00:49:08.439
but I feel for them if
that's how they felt.

1121
00:49:08.508 --> 00:49:10.276
If you don't feel
comfortable in your job

1122
00:49:10.345 --> 00:49:12.674
and that's how you feel, then
it is our jobs as managers

1123
00:49:12.743 --> 00:49:16.513
and owners and chefs to
help them feel comfortable.

1124
00:49:16.582 --> 00:49:19.087
No one should feel
uncomfortable in their position.

1125
00:49:20.718 --> 00:49:24.158
- So the thing that I
feel like I had to do

1126
00:49:24.227 --> 00:49:26.754
as a young female chef early on

1127
00:49:26.823 --> 00:49:29.262
was kind of develop
a pretty thick skin.

1128
00:49:29.331 --> 00:49:32.793
I have been an out
lesbian since I was,

1129
00:49:32.862 --> 00:49:35.037
I don't know, 20 or
something like that.

1130
00:49:35.106 --> 00:49:36.405
And in the kitchens,

1131
00:49:36.474 --> 00:49:39.734
of course some guy might say
something sort of obnoxious

1132
00:49:39.803 --> 00:49:41.682
and I'd be like, "Please,
have you seen my girlfriend?"

1133
00:49:41.706 --> 00:49:44.178
Or I had a crude cut back then

1134
00:49:44.247 --> 00:49:46.048
and I just looked pretty tough.

1135
00:49:46.117 --> 00:49:47.183
I think I've pretty much

1136
00:49:47.251 --> 00:49:49.051
just had like a don't
fuck with me attitude

1137
00:49:49.120 --> 00:49:50.353
or I will hurt you

1138
00:49:50.421 --> 00:49:52.989
and maybe that's why I took
up sword fighting later.

1139
00:49:54.356 --> 00:49:55.455
Or I just was like,

1140
00:49:55.524 --> 00:49:56.668
"I don't have time for
that kind of bullshit."

1141
00:49:56.692 --> 00:50:00.326
So I just never even
let it come into play.

1142
00:50:00.395 --> 00:50:04.099
I so quickly became
a manager and a boss.

1143
00:50:04.168 --> 00:50:06.596
For me, it was always like
we're not gonna run any kind

1144
00:50:06.665 --> 00:50:07.762
of restaurant like that.

1145
00:50:07.831 --> 00:50:09.031
We're not gonna act like that.

1146
00:50:09.066 --> 00:50:11.469
We're not gonna do anything
that's inappropriate

1147
00:50:11.538 --> 00:50:12.915
because we have so
much work to do.

1148
00:50:12.939 --> 00:50:15.836
And I actually am friends with
pretty much all these guys

1149
00:50:15.905 --> 00:50:17.244
that have gotten in trouble.

1150
00:50:17.313 --> 00:50:18.641
It's a really weird place to be

1151
00:50:18.710 --> 00:50:19.754
because it's like,
"Well, wait a minute,

1152
00:50:19.778 --> 00:50:22.414
"I don't even know
you guys like that,

1153
00:50:22.483 --> 00:50:23.724
"but then I thought
you knew the difference

1154
00:50:23.748 --> 00:50:25.417
"between work and play?"

1155
00:50:25.486 --> 00:50:27.848
Because I've been at
parties with Mario

1156
00:50:27.917 --> 00:50:30.323
where he hasn't
been this piggy guy.

1157
00:50:30.392 --> 00:50:31.819
I'm having a hard time with the,

1158
00:50:31.888 --> 00:50:34.228
how could you guys not
know the difference

1159
00:50:34.297 --> 00:50:35.530
between work and play?

1160
00:50:35.598 --> 00:50:37.759
And I wrote this piece about
how it's so frustrating

1161
00:50:37.828 --> 00:50:39.596
because I've had
employees like that

1162
00:50:39.665 --> 00:50:41.697
and I got rid of
them pretty quickly

1163
00:50:41.766 --> 00:50:44.172
because I don't have
time for that crap.

1164
00:50:44.241 --> 00:50:46.801
We have so much
to do in our stage

1165
00:50:46.870 --> 00:50:47.914
to make the whole team stop

1166
00:50:47.938 --> 00:50:49.804
and have to get rid
of that player now

1167
00:50:49.873 --> 00:50:53.115
because they said the
wrong thing to the server.

1168
00:50:53.184 --> 00:50:54.428
I just wanna punch those people.

1169
00:50:54.452 --> 00:50:56.163
It's like, come on that's
not what we're doing.

1170
00:50:56.187 --> 00:50:57.581
This is work.

1171
00:50:57.650 --> 00:50:59.550
And we call it work
and we go to work.

1172
00:50:59.619 --> 00:51:02.850
- I think as a mom, one
of my fears for Fatima

1173
00:51:02.919 --> 00:51:07.162
has been it's such a
male oriented industry.

1174
00:51:07.231 --> 00:51:09.527
Fatima of course
just got into it

1175
00:51:09.596 --> 00:51:12.299
because of the love and
passion for cooking.

1176
00:51:12.368 --> 00:51:14.400
Once she went to culinary school

1177
00:51:14.469 --> 00:51:18.239
and she acquired all that
knowledge and technique,

1178
00:51:18.308 --> 00:51:21.407
will others be able to
take her work seriously

1179
00:51:21.476 --> 00:51:25.279
and appreciate what a
creative chef she is

1180
00:51:25.348 --> 00:51:29.349
and that she can be just as
skilled, just as fabulous

1181
00:51:29.418 --> 00:51:32.649
as any other male chef can?

1182
00:51:32.718 --> 00:51:37.192
- Obviously working in New York
City and working at Patina,

1183
00:51:37.261 --> 00:51:41.691
everyone in management
was all male and I wasn't,

1184
00:51:41.760 --> 00:51:42.826
and I was very young.

1185
00:51:42.894 --> 00:51:47.202
And to me, it kind of
fortified the reasons

1186
00:51:47.271 --> 00:51:49.270
why I wanted to make sure

1187
00:51:49.339 --> 00:51:52.603
that I was equal to
everybody over there

1188
00:51:52.672 --> 00:51:55.408
'cause in the back of my
head, I was still so conscious

1189
00:51:55.477 --> 00:51:57.179
about maybe not belonging

1190
00:51:57.248 --> 00:52:02.151
and maybe not having
the same qualifications

1191
00:52:03.452 --> 00:52:05.319
as my male counterparts.

1192
00:52:05.388 --> 00:52:06.914
But the truth is
that if anything,

1193
00:52:06.983 --> 00:52:09.488
I probably was even more
qualified than them.

1194
00:52:09.557 --> 00:52:11.523
- You have to be
like one of the boys.

1195
00:52:11.592 --> 00:52:16.594
You have to be tough,
whatever that means.

1196
00:52:17.763 --> 00:52:18.773
When I first started, I
started at a restaurant

1197
00:52:18.797 --> 00:52:21.302
that was run by a woman

1198
00:52:21.371 --> 00:52:25.207
so I didn't feel that
when I first started out.

1199
00:52:25.276 --> 00:52:30.278
I felt really supportive
female run kitchen.

1200
00:52:31.414 --> 00:52:33.413
Then I moved on and
there might only be one

1201
00:52:33.482 --> 00:52:38.253
or two other women and you
have all of these young men

1202
00:52:39.587 --> 00:52:43.753
who are cooking on the line
and they'll make comments.

1203
00:52:43.822 --> 00:52:46.624
I think some line cook
once called me Barbie chef

1204
00:52:46.693 --> 00:52:49.231
or chef Barbie or
something like that.

1205
00:52:49.300 --> 00:52:52.993
People have said to me, "Oh,
you're too pretty to be a chef.

1206
00:52:53.062 --> 00:52:55.699
"You're too small to be a chef."

1207
00:52:55.768 --> 00:53:00.539
Then you have to work that
much harder to prove yourself.

1208
00:53:00.608 --> 00:53:02.970
You're always gonna
come across those cooks,

1209
00:53:03.039 --> 00:53:08.250
those chefs in this industry
who think that you can't do it

1210
00:53:09.386 --> 00:53:10.185
because you're a girl
and you can't do it

1211
00:53:10.254 --> 00:53:12.452
'cause you look a certain way.

1212
00:53:12.521 --> 00:53:16.786
I witnessed and I
experienced people

1213
00:53:16.855 --> 00:53:21.857
who were the harassers not
only not lose their job,

1214
00:53:22.729 --> 00:53:24.332
but not even really get a slap

1215
00:53:24.401 --> 00:53:26.334
on the wrist and get promoted.

1216
00:53:26.403 --> 00:53:30.338
There's no reason to have
so much screaming going on

1217
00:53:30.407 --> 00:53:34.672
in the kitchen and
so much aggressive,

1218
00:53:34.741 --> 00:53:38.511
just loud banging
on countertops,

1219
00:53:38.580 --> 00:53:40.645
aggressively throwing plates.

1220
00:53:40.714 --> 00:53:44.550
If I don't have this job,
I won't have another job.

1221
00:53:44.619 --> 00:53:46.816
Nobody will hire me because
I'm such a bad chef.

1222
00:53:46.885 --> 00:53:48.752
I'm such a bad pastry chef.

1223
00:53:48.821 --> 00:53:52.723
Yeah, I felt like my whole
identity is wrapped up in food.

1224
00:53:52.792 --> 00:53:57.794
My whole identity is wrapped
up in baking and cooking

1225
00:53:58.732 --> 00:54:00.065
for my whole entire life.

1226
00:54:00.133 --> 00:54:03.899
And all of a sudden it was
like, "Wow, I'm crap at this."

1227
00:54:08.379 --> 00:54:12.578
That sucks, it sucks.

1228
00:54:14.044 --> 00:54:16.483
It's really hard to
stand up for yourself

1229
00:54:16.552 --> 00:54:19.750
and I definitely didn't.

1230
00:54:19.819 --> 00:54:20.863
I didn't stand up for myself.

1231
00:54:20.887 --> 00:54:21.819
I didn't stand up
for other people.

1232
00:54:21.888 --> 00:54:24.689
I have a ton of
regrets about that.

1233
00:54:24.758 --> 00:54:26.658
I've somehow come
out of all of this

1234
00:54:26.727 --> 00:54:28.792
and I have this platform.

1235
00:54:28.861 --> 00:54:32.598
And so now I have
this responsibility

1236
00:54:32.667 --> 00:54:36.800
to start to speak about
some of this stuff.

1237
00:54:36.869 --> 00:54:41.640
And I think that that's the
way we're gonna make it better

1238
00:54:41.709 --> 00:54:44.005
because this industry
should be really positive.

1239
00:54:44.074 --> 00:54:47.613
- It's just the culture
that a kitchen brings

1240
00:54:47.682 --> 00:54:48.977
that it's just like very macho

1241
00:54:49.046 --> 00:54:50.814
and everyone's always whistling,

1242
00:54:52.456 --> 00:54:54.983
but it's also like for me,
I was always just like,

1243
00:54:55.052 --> 00:54:57.557
"Well, you need to be
able to handle that too."

1244
00:54:58.891 --> 00:55:02.661
- I used to just stand
there and always say,

1245
00:55:02.730 --> 00:55:03.963
"Yes chef, yes chef."

1246
00:55:04.031 --> 00:55:07.501
Whatever they said, it
doesn't matter how bad it is.

1247
00:55:07.570 --> 00:55:11.505
They throwing dish in your face

1248
00:55:11.574 --> 00:55:12.584
and then you always
have to say yes chef

1249
00:55:12.608 --> 00:55:14.871
because you don't
wanna lose the job.

1250
00:55:14.940 --> 00:55:16.852
- I think it's a really interesting point
that you bring up

1251
00:55:16.876 --> 00:55:19.909
where you kind of have
to accept this culture

1252
00:55:19.978 --> 00:55:23.385
in a kitchen where
men are catcalling you

1253
00:55:23.454 --> 00:55:24.787
and whistling at you.

1254
00:55:24.855 --> 00:55:25.899
And at the end of the night,
you get out of your chef's coat

1255
00:55:25.923 --> 00:55:27.917
and you put on a
cute dress to get out

1256
00:55:27.986 --> 00:55:28.785
and go and have some drinks.

1257
00:55:28.854 --> 00:55:29.586
And everybody's like.

1258
00:55:29.654 --> 00:55:30.587
- You mean normal looking?

1259
00:55:30.655 --> 00:55:33.626
- Yeah, yeah, I
mean, we are women.

1260
00:55:33.695 --> 00:55:36.926
We're allowed to be pretty
in dresses with makeup on

1261
00:55:36.995 --> 00:55:38.194
and men just need to accept

1262
00:55:38.263 --> 00:55:40.732
that we could still be
bad-asses in the kitchen.

1263
00:55:40.801 --> 00:55:43.834
- Okay so, the biggest
thing is for me,

1264
00:55:43.903 --> 00:55:47.673
I remember walking into any
kitchen that I work especially

1265
00:55:47.742 --> 00:55:48.808
for the first time

1266
00:55:48.876 --> 00:55:51.809
and you just have to
have to accept or expect

1267
00:55:51.878 --> 00:55:56.880
that you're just gonna be
harassed like crazy by everyone.

1268
00:55:58.214 --> 00:55:59.895
In those younger days, it
was my mentality to just

1269
00:55:59.919 --> 00:56:04.019
be able to have thick skin
and be okay with that.

1270
00:56:04.088 --> 00:56:06.021
- Fight back.
- Not even fight,

1271
00:56:06.090 --> 00:56:07.825
you just accept it
and just be like,

1272
00:56:07.894 --> 00:56:09.464
okay, they're gonna do it again.

1273
00:56:09.533 --> 00:56:10.198
It's just like,
it is what it is.

1274
00:56:10.267 --> 00:56:11.961
- I don't, I fight back.

1275
00:56:12.030 --> 00:56:13.030
- You fight back?

1276
00:56:13.064 --> 00:56:14.075
- Honestly, fighting
back just gets-

1277
00:56:14.099 --> 00:56:16.438
- Worse, worse.
- Yeah, it gets worse

1278
00:56:16.507 --> 00:56:19.507
or super exhausting and
you just need to ignore it.

1279
00:56:19.576 --> 00:56:24.413
And I feel like I remember
telling other females.

1280
00:56:25.516 --> 00:56:27.153
They're like, "Oh,
don't you get all weird

1281
00:56:27.177 --> 00:56:29.110
"when these guys do that?"

1282
00:56:29.179 --> 00:56:31.145
And you're just like,
"Well, we're so used to it

1283
00:56:31.214 --> 00:56:32.113
"so it's whatever."

1284
00:56:32.182 --> 00:56:34.214
- Yeah, that's so sad.

1285
00:56:34.283 --> 00:56:36.920
It's so sad that at some point,

1286
00:56:36.989 --> 00:56:39.791
we've had to accept that
as females in the kitchen.

1287
00:56:39.860 --> 00:56:41.159
But me personally,

1288
00:56:41.228 --> 00:56:44.565
I feel like as I got more
confident working in a kitchen

1289
00:56:44.634 --> 00:56:47.469
and I realized I'm not gonna
let these guys push me around.

1290
00:56:47.538 --> 00:56:48.977
If somebody said something
to me, I'd be like,

1291
00:56:49.001 --> 00:56:50.472
"Shut the fuck up."

1292
00:56:50.541 --> 00:56:51.140
"Who are you?

1293
00:56:51.208 --> 00:56:52.208
"Leave me alone."

1294
00:56:52.276 --> 00:56:54.641
Just because I'm a
chick doesn't mean

1295
00:56:54.710 --> 00:56:55.854
that you could
treat me like that.

1296
00:56:55.878 --> 00:57:00.482
- There are 20 males in
the kitchens of course

1297
00:57:00.551 --> 00:57:03.815
and it's only two
females in that kitchen.

1298
00:57:03.884 --> 00:57:07.819
And of course, it feel like
ridiculous and not confident

1299
00:57:09.120 --> 00:57:12.186
to work with them, then I
have to push myself even more

1300
00:57:12.255 --> 00:57:15.222
to prove that hey I can do it.

1301
00:57:15.291 --> 00:57:18.467
- It's funny that every female
kind of has that experience.

1302
00:57:24.201 --> 00:57:25.948
- There's a couple of guys
that it took me a really,

1303
00:57:25.972 --> 00:57:29.643
really long time to get
them to accept the fact

1304
00:57:29.712 --> 00:57:31.513
that I was A, was a woman,

1305
00:57:31.582 --> 00:57:33.174
B, that I'd only
worked there a year

1306
00:57:33.243 --> 00:57:36.881
and I was being
promoted past them.

1307
00:57:36.950 --> 00:57:39.455
Eventually, I got the
guys but it took a while.

1308
00:57:40.822 --> 00:57:42.133
You'd wanna walk out of
there and cry and be like,

1309
00:57:42.157 --> 00:57:45.692
"I can't believe these guys
just tortured me all day."

1310
00:57:45.761 --> 00:57:48.926
But for some people,
they'll walk away from that,

1311
00:57:48.995 --> 00:57:51.126
for other people, I was
like, Goddammit, no way,

1312
00:57:51.195 --> 00:57:52.996
no way are these
guys gonna break me.

1313
00:57:53.065 --> 00:57:56.571
- I didn't feel like
I was good enough

1314
00:57:56.640 --> 00:57:57.939
to call myself a chef yet.

1315
00:57:58.008 --> 00:58:01.774
I hadn't sweated out in the
kitchen of a restaurant yet.

1316
00:58:01.843 --> 00:58:03.545
It was very difficult
for me to do that.

1317
00:58:03.614 --> 00:58:04.855
- She was always at
the top of her class

1318
00:58:04.879 --> 00:58:05.989
with the cooking and everything,

1319
00:58:06.013 --> 00:58:08.044
but she would be like,
"No, my food sucks.

1320
00:58:08.113 --> 00:58:09.312
"I don't know."

1321
00:58:09.381 --> 00:58:11.916
But we'll be like, "Esther,
you're way too humble.

1322
00:58:11.985 --> 00:58:15.018
"Get over it, your
food is really amazing.

1323
00:58:15.087 --> 00:58:16.087
"You're very talented."

1324
00:58:16.155 --> 00:58:17.724
And we always had
to push that to her.

1325
00:58:17.793 --> 00:58:20.694
- It's hard and as women,

1326
00:58:20.763 --> 00:58:23.125
I think that one of
my biggest struggles

1327
00:58:23.194 --> 00:58:25.094
is definitely the
confidence issue.

1328
00:58:25.163 --> 00:58:27.767
I've always had that issue.

1329
00:58:27.836 --> 00:58:29.571
I just don't feel
like I'm good enough.

1330
00:58:29.640 --> 00:58:31.804
- I had a guy once that we
had a radio in the kitchen,

1331
00:58:31.873 --> 00:58:34.169
in my kitchen it
doesn't exist anymore.

1332
00:58:34.238 --> 00:58:36.842
I like it nice and
quiet and peaceful.

1333
00:58:36.911 --> 00:58:40.010
And at the end of service,
he hopped up on the table,

1334
00:58:40.079 --> 00:58:44.179
sat down on the table, put
the music on, still cooking.

1335
00:58:44.248 --> 00:58:47.347
And I asked him to not do that.

1336
00:58:47.416 --> 00:58:50.251
And next night, same
time, same thing.

1337
00:58:50.320 --> 00:58:52.319
Next night, same
time, same thing

1338
00:58:52.388 --> 00:58:56.895
until eventually he understood
that I had earned my title

1339
00:58:56.964 --> 00:58:58.798
of a sous chef and
I could still cook

1340
00:58:58.867 --> 00:59:00.635
and I was still just
as good as he was.

1341
00:59:00.704 --> 00:59:02.209
The first couple of days,
I got really mad about it.

1342
00:59:02.233 --> 00:59:03.466
And I was like,

1343
00:59:03.534 --> 00:59:04.545
"I don't understand why
he's not listening to me."

1344
00:59:04.569 --> 00:59:05.501
And then I kind
of had to delve in

1345
00:59:05.570 --> 00:59:08.841
and figure out
where the line was?

1346
00:59:08.910 --> 00:59:13.043
What he needed from me and
what he wanted to see from me?

1347
00:59:13.112 --> 00:59:14.979
And then to earn my title

1348
00:59:15.048 --> 00:59:17.652
and to actually for
him to respect them.

1349
00:59:17.721 --> 00:59:20.721
- But don't you think that
that's female perspective

1350
00:59:20.790 --> 00:59:22.023
to earn the title?

1351
00:59:22.091 --> 00:59:23.868
Because I mean, the last
time I took over a kitchen

1352
00:59:23.892 --> 00:59:25.036
was three years ago and
I felt the same way.

1353
00:59:25.060 --> 00:59:27.123
I had earned the title
when I first got there.

1354
00:59:27.192 --> 00:59:29.158
And the first thing I did
was I started to clean

1355
00:59:29.227 --> 00:59:31.325
because the kitchen was
just not to my standard

1356
00:59:31.394 --> 00:59:32.426
and what I wanted to do.

1357
00:59:32.495 --> 00:59:33.806
And then I was doing
all the butchering

1358
00:59:33.830 --> 00:59:36.231
and showing each person that
I can work each station.

1359
00:59:36.300 --> 00:59:39.366
And I feel like another person
can walk into that kitchen

1360
00:59:39.435 --> 00:59:40.534
and then visit the chef,

1361
00:59:40.603 --> 00:59:42.842
And then from day one,
it starts to go from.

1362
00:59:42.911 --> 00:59:44.053
I think that's a
female perspective.

1363
00:59:44.077 --> 00:59:45.221
- Another person meaning a man?

1364
00:59:45.245 --> 00:59:48.045
- A man can walk into
their kitchen and say,

1365
00:59:49.346 --> 00:59:50.961
"We're changing the menu
today and this is what it is."

1366
00:59:50.985 --> 00:59:53.314
Not even say what my name is.

1367
00:59:53.383 --> 00:59:55.888
I really think that that's
a female perspective

1368
00:59:55.957 --> 00:59:56.957
of how to do things.

1369
00:59:56.991 --> 00:59:58.235
I don't think it's
wrong or right,

1370
00:59:58.259 --> 00:59:59.603
I'm just saying that that's
what my experience was.

1371
00:59:59.627 --> 01:00:03.665
- The younger you are, the
kind of more insecure you are

1372
01:00:03.734 --> 01:00:05.128
as a female in this male world.

1373
01:00:05.197 --> 01:00:06.197
And I think as you do it,

1374
01:00:06.231 --> 01:00:07.542
you do become a
lot more confident

1375
01:00:07.566 --> 01:00:10.232
and you do understand I'm
gonna get respect from people

1376
01:00:10.301 --> 01:00:13.202
by showing them what to do,
by showing them I can hang.

1377
01:00:13.271 --> 01:00:16.007
And I wonder if a male thinks
the same thing when he comes

1378
01:00:16.076 --> 01:00:17.342
into the kitchen?

1379
01:00:17.411 --> 01:00:21.749
- He probably doesn't, but
that's what separates us.

1380
01:00:22.885 --> 01:00:24.818
Some cooks really like
working for women,

1381
01:00:24.887 --> 01:00:26.314
some cooks obviously don't.

1382
01:00:26.383 --> 01:00:29.856
But I think I have a breed

1383
01:00:29.925 --> 01:00:32.760
of cooks in here
that are sensitive,

1384
01:00:32.829 --> 01:00:34.469
they're caring and
they help each other.

1385
01:00:34.523 --> 01:00:37.930
And that machismo attitude
doesn't really fit

1386
01:00:37.999 --> 01:00:39.065
in here very well.

1387
01:00:39.133 --> 01:00:40.211
- That's the environment
that you've created.

1388
01:00:40.235 --> 01:00:43.232
- So those guys don't
last here very long

1389
01:00:43.301 --> 01:00:44.378
and it's not because of me,

1390
01:00:44.402 --> 01:00:46.367
it's because of the
other staff members.

1391
01:00:46.436 --> 01:00:48.875
If you can't fit in
and respect the kitchen

1392
01:00:48.944 --> 01:00:50.383
that they believe
in and working in,

1393
01:00:50.407 --> 01:00:51.706
then there's no place for you.

1394
01:00:51.775 --> 01:00:56.916
- I feel for women, it's easier
to get intimidated by men.

1395
01:00:58.789 --> 01:01:00.854
When she was still in college,

1396
01:01:00.923 --> 01:01:02.724
she'd be weeping and crying.

1397
01:01:02.793 --> 01:01:05.727
And I still remember one
conversation I had with her

1398
01:01:05.796 --> 01:01:08.389
and she said, mom,
"There's this one chef.

1399
01:01:08.458 --> 01:01:10.094
"He asked us to put
a steak together.

1400
01:01:10.163 --> 01:01:14.703
"He took a bite of it
and he threw the plate

1401
01:01:15.839 --> 01:01:18.267
"and he said, 'What's
this shoe-leather?'"

1402
01:01:19.843 --> 01:01:22.370
- The more confident you have
in your craft and your skill,

1403
01:01:23.341 --> 01:01:24.746
the more that you're working,

1404
01:01:24.815 --> 01:01:26.055
the more your repertoire grows,

1405
01:01:26.080 --> 01:01:28.244
all those things
come full circle.

1406
01:01:28.313 --> 01:01:33.315
And you're able to basically
exist in your space creatively

1407
01:01:34.957 --> 01:01:36.290
as a chef

1408
01:01:36.358 --> 01:01:38.793
and not worry too much about
what's happening around you.

1409
01:01:38.862 --> 01:01:41.026
- You don't learn by sort
of just taking in advice.

1410
01:01:41.095 --> 01:01:45.030
I think that you learn
by sort of example,

1411
01:01:45.099 --> 01:01:47.362
people setting examples for you.

1412
01:01:47.431 --> 01:01:49.771
And that's certainly
how I've learned.

1413
01:01:49.840 --> 01:01:52.070
I don't always see things
sort of in black and white,

1414
01:01:52.139 --> 01:01:54.072
but you're right,
there is a sense,

1415
01:01:54.141 --> 01:01:55.407
there is a different energy,

1416
01:01:55.476 --> 01:01:58.912
I feel like when you have
sort of a mixed team, right?

1417
01:01:58.981 --> 01:01:59.913
It's not just all boys.

1418
01:01:59.982 --> 01:02:01.348
It's not just all girls.

1419
01:02:01.417 --> 01:02:05.281
And I feel like you wanna sort
of strike the right balance.

1420
01:02:05.350 --> 01:02:07.415
And it could be all female,
it could be all male,

1421
01:02:07.484 --> 01:02:10.253
but it has to be one
that is based on respect.

1422
01:02:10.322 --> 01:02:13.454
And I think that the
culture of restaurants

1423
01:02:13.523 --> 01:02:18.294
and sort of cooking in general
has been very throw a fight

1424
01:02:18.363 --> 01:02:21.363
if that is a word that I
could is very sort of dude,

1425
01:02:22.906 --> 01:02:27.006
tough guys throwing
pans, swearing a lot,

1426
01:02:27.075 --> 01:02:29.107
sexist, racist jokes it's okay

1427
01:02:29.176 --> 01:02:31.439
and there's an absolute
disregard for sort of humanity

1428
01:02:31.508 --> 01:02:33.243
when you really look into it.

1429
01:02:33.312 --> 01:02:35.443
So I'm a little bit more
protective I would say

1430
01:02:35.512 --> 01:02:38.182
of my cooks, female cooks.

1431
01:02:38.251 --> 01:02:40.019
You have to watch yourself

1432
01:02:40.088 --> 01:02:43.858
and you have to protect
yourself and know your rights

1433
01:02:43.927 --> 01:02:46.190
and really seek a place
'cause you don't need all

1434
01:02:46.259 --> 01:02:48.357
that macho to cook
well, you don't.

1435
01:02:48.426 --> 01:02:52.427
- And for every place that does
treat their cooks like that,

1436
01:02:52.496 --> 01:02:53.729
there's a place

1437
01:02:53.797 --> 01:02:56.002
that treats their cooks
like you treat your cooks.

1438
01:02:56.071 --> 01:02:58.334
So that was something
that I learned

1439
01:02:58.403 --> 01:03:00.600
was how to find those places

1440
01:03:00.669 --> 01:03:02.389
where I was gonna be
treated with respect.

1441
01:03:02.440 --> 01:03:05.506
- Because I feel like honestly,
this might sound cheesy,

1442
01:03:05.575 --> 01:03:10.412
but a happy, respectful
place produces food

1443
01:03:10.481 --> 01:03:13.448
that is more delicious
than one that is filled

1444
01:03:13.517 --> 01:03:16.990
with antagonism,
and anger and rage.

1445
01:03:17.059 --> 01:03:18.099
- Yeah, and food is love.

1446
01:03:18.127 --> 01:03:20.323
You can't cook good
food without love.

1447
01:03:20.392 --> 01:03:23.491
- But then, that is too sort
of female to talk that way.

1448
01:03:23.560 --> 01:03:24.359
You know what I mean?

1449
01:03:24.428 --> 01:03:27.561
And I think even women's chefs,

1450
01:03:27.630 --> 01:03:30.135
they sort of take
on a persona of,

1451
01:03:30.204 --> 01:03:32.269
if I'm gonna survive
in this kitchen,

1452
01:03:32.338 --> 01:03:34.436
I have to walk a
little bit like this

1453
01:03:34.505 --> 01:03:36.405
and I have to sort of be hard

1454
01:03:36.474 --> 01:03:41.014
and yell like the
best chefs out there.

1455
01:03:41.083 --> 01:03:43.819
It's that kind of
crazy mentality

1456
01:03:44.581 --> 01:03:45.780
that I knew long time ago

1457
01:03:45.849 --> 01:03:48.021
that I didn't want to
have anything to do with.

1458
01:03:48.090 --> 01:03:50.023
I mean, don't we
all wanna be treated

1459
01:03:50.092 --> 01:03:53.257
with respect and kindness?

1460
01:03:54.426 --> 01:03:56.359
But at the same time,
I'm not talking soft.

1461
01:03:56.428 --> 01:03:57.428
You know what I mean?

1462
01:03:57.496 --> 01:03:58.773
Opposite of hard
doesn't have to be soft.

1463
01:03:58.797 --> 01:04:02.233
It could be disciplined,
it could be well managed.

1464
01:04:02.302 --> 01:04:06.006
And it's about sharing
knowledge, passing on knowledge,

1465
01:04:07.307 --> 01:04:09.977
All of that doesn't
have to be hard at all.

1466
01:04:11.476 --> 01:04:14.179
- That my love for
food and preparing food

1467
01:04:14.248 --> 01:04:17.545
and serving the food,
those are all elements

1468
01:04:17.614 --> 01:04:18.614
of being a chef.

1469
01:04:18.648 --> 01:04:20.317
It's not just being
able to cook it,

1470
01:04:20.386 --> 01:04:22.187
but loving to serve it.

1471
01:04:22.256 --> 01:04:26.455
Being able to say this
comes from my heritage

1472
01:04:26.524 --> 01:04:29.095
and I want to share
this with you.

1473
01:04:29.164 --> 01:04:32.527
- Being a chef isn't
really just about food.

1474
01:04:32.596 --> 01:04:35.431
To be a successful chef is
more about your environment

1475
01:04:35.500 --> 01:04:39.072
and about your kitchen,
and it's about your staff,

1476
01:04:39.141 --> 01:04:40.403
it's about being a leader.

1477
01:04:40.472 --> 01:04:42.603
And what makes an
incredible leader?

1478
01:04:42.672 --> 01:04:45.309
There's no male or female.

1479
01:04:45.378 --> 01:04:46.589
A good leader is a good leader.

1480
01:04:46.613 --> 01:04:51.018
Why do I have to be
labeled as a female chef?

1481
01:04:51.087 --> 01:04:51.819
I'm just a chef.

1482
01:04:51.888 --> 01:04:53.482
I can do whatever you do.

1483
01:04:53.551 --> 01:04:56.991
Don't look at me
like, I'm lesser

1484
01:04:57.060 --> 01:04:58.553
or I can't do a certain thing

1485
01:04:58.622 --> 01:05:01.424
because of my size
or the way I look.

1486
01:05:03.297 --> 01:05:04.604
- We just wanna
be in the same category.

1487
01:05:04.628 --> 01:05:05.934
- Yeah.
- - Yeah.

1488
01:05:08.566 --> 01:05:12.138
- If you're in a place in a
restaurant working for somebody

1489
01:05:12.207 --> 01:05:16.340
or somebody's acting
inappropriate, bring it up,

1490
01:05:16.409 --> 01:05:20.245
talk about it or get out if
it's not the right place.

1491
01:05:20.314 --> 01:05:24.447
There's so many other restaurants that
need your talent

1492
01:05:24.516 --> 01:05:26.276
so you don't have to
put up with that stuff.

1493
01:05:26.320 --> 01:05:28.616
- What would you
give advice for a woman

1494
01:05:28.685 --> 01:05:31.586
who was dealing with something
like that in the workplace?

1495
01:05:34.328 --> 01:05:35.328
- "Is this Chef Fatima?"

1496
01:05:35.395 --> 01:05:38.758
I'm like, "Yes."

1497
01:05:38.827 --> 01:05:39.827
And she was like,

1498
01:05:39.895 --> 01:05:41.172
"Hi I was actually
doing some research

1499
01:05:41.196 --> 01:05:43.049
"and your name popped up
and we're actually casting

1500
01:05:43.073 --> 01:05:44.139
"for the next season.

1501
01:05:44.207 --> 01:05:45.447
"I would really love
if you could join us

1502
01:05:45.471 --> 01:05:47.074
"for the next season."

1503
01:05:47.143 --> 01:05:47.942
- Oh my God.

1504
01:05:48.011 --> 01:05:50.077
- And I was just like, "What?"

1505
01:05:50.146 --> 01:05:51.156
I didn't even know
what the fuck to say.

1506
01:05:51.180 --> 01:05:53.245
I was like, "Wait,
you want me to?"

1507
01:05:57.615 --> 01:05:59.455
No, she wants me to be
one of the contestants.

1508
01:06:02.290 --> 01:06:04.235
She's like, "Yes and I'm gonna
send you all the paper work."

1509
01:06:04.259 --> 01:06:06.299
She's like, "Just talk to
me for like five minutes.

1510
01:06:06.360 --> 01:06:07.259
"I would love to
know more about you."

1511
01:06:07.328 --> 01:06:09.591
And she's all
energetic and shit.

1512
01:06:09.660 --> 01:06:10.926
My fucking heart is pounding.

1513
01:06:10.995 --> 01:06:12.138
I was like, "Oh my God, you
gotta be fucking kidding."

1514
01:06:12.162 --> 01:06:14.200
I was like, "I can't do
"Top Chef" right now.

1515
01:06:14.269 --> 01:06:15.335
- I feel blessed

1516
01:06:15.403 --> 01:06:17.401
that I got to spend the
day with Fatima Ali.

1517
01:06:19.670 --> 01:06:20.536
- Don't worry,
you'll warm into it.

1518
01:06:20.604 --> 01:06:22.307
- At the time we
filmed with her,

1519
01:06:22.376 --> 01:06:24.177
she shared with us her story

1520
01:06:27.645 --> 01:06:29.182
from getting on "Chopped".

1521
01:06:30.714 --> 01:06:31.813
- I was 21 at the time

1522
01:06:31.882 --> 01:06:34.319
and I didn't think I was
even close to capable

1523
01:06:34.388 --> 01:06:35.498
of doing something like that.

1524
01:06:35.522 --> 01:06:37.322
I tried out for the
show, went on the show,

1525
01:06:37.391 --> 01:06:38.653
ended up winning by a fluke

1526
01:06:38.722 --> 01:06:40.820
and that kind of opened up

1527
01:06:40.889 --> 01:06:44.263
this whole other
aspect to cooking.

1528
01:06:44.332 --> 01:06:46.694
I really want to be
that Pakistani girl

1529
01:06:46.763 --> 01:06:48.399
that other Pakistani
girls can look at

1530
01:06:48.468 --> 01:06:50.281
and be like, "You know
what, I can do it too."

1531
01:06:50.305 --> 01:06:52.601
- To meeting
her hero Padma Lakshmi.

1532
01:06:52.670 --> 01:06:54.702
- One of the shows that
I watched growing up

1533
01:06:54.771 --> 01:06:56.440
was Padma Lakshmi's show.

1534
01:06:56.509 --> 01:06:58.244
She had this travel show

1535
01:06:58.313 --> 01:07:00.345
where she would go
around through India

1536
01:07:00.414 --> 01:07:03.645
and sit with all
of these villagers

1537
01:07:03.714 --> 01:07:05.047
and kind of recreate recipes.

1538
01:07:05.115 --> 01:07:09.255
And I thought that it was so
fascinating to watch someone

1539
01:07:09.324 --> 01:07:11.719
who looked like me being able
to do this in her country.

1540
01:07:11.788 --> 01:07:14.755
And it made me so
hopeful to think

1541
01:07:14.824 --> 01:07:16.493
that maybe one day
I could do that too.

1542
01:07:16.562 --> 01:07:18.264
I was obsessed.

1543
01:07:18.333 --> 01:07:20.200
She was actually
the only brown woman

1544
01:07:20.269 --> 01:07:22.136
on that cooking channel.

1545
01:07:22.205 --> 01:07:24.600
She's opened a lot of doors
in a lot of different ways

1546
01:07:24.669 --> 01:07:27.108
and I want her to
like my food, I do.

1547
01:07:27.177 --> 01:07:28.769
I want her to
respect me as a chef.

1548
01:07:28.838 --> 01:07:31.706
Before I knew it, I was
accepted onto the new season.

1549
01:07:31.775 --> 01:07:34.148
Was told we were gonna
be flying to Colorado.

1550
01:07:34.217 --> 01:07:39.219
Had never been there before and
was just incredibly nervous.

1551
01:07:40.322 --> 01:07:41.551
Hi Padma, hi Tom, hi.

1552
01:07:41.620 --> 01:07:42.849
- What did you make for us?

1553
01:07:42.918 --> 01:07:45.126
It'd be an avalanche,
do it, do it.

1554
01:07:47.725 --> 01:07:50.329
That charred padi
feeling in here.

1555
01:07:50.398 --> 01:07:52.430
- Being able to watch
someone on TV growing up

1556
01:07:52.499 --> 01:07:53.575
and then getting to meet them

1557
01:07:53.599 --> 01:07:54.894
and actually have a relationship

1558
01:07:54.963 --> 01:07:56.731
with them was really wonderful.

1559
01:07:56.800 --> 01:07:58.139
The more they tasted my food,

1560
01:07:58.208 --> 01:07:59.007
the more they understood

1561
01:07:59.076 --> 01:08:00.735
what I was trying to accomplish.

1562
01:08:00.804 --> 01:08:02.444
And I thought that
was really heartening

1563
01:08:02.476 --> 01:08:04.541
and it was definitely
a confidence booster.

1564
01:08:04.610 --> 01:08:08.281
I was just having so much
fun challenging myself

1565
01:08:08.350 --> 01:08:10.811
in these kinds of
like dire straits.

1566
01:08:10.880 --> 01:08:12.912
I love that kind of chaos

1567
01:08:12.981 --> 01:08:15.255
and I love that adrenaline rush.

1568
01:08:15.324 --> 01:08:18.258
I've always been
pretty competitive.

1569
01:08:27.897 --> 01:08:33.108
- To watch Fatima grow
into this extremely skilled

1570
01:08:38.578 --> 01:08:41.446
and crafty chef who comes up

1571
01:08:41.515 --> 01:08:44.317
with the most
innovative recipes,

1572
01:08:44.386 --> 01:08:49.289
who has taken her inspiration

1573
01:08:49.358 --> 01:08:54.360
and influences from her
cultural heritage and background

1574
01:08:55.793 --> 01:09:00.762
and what she grew up with and
taken all the fabulous things

1575
01:09:01.931 --> 01:09:05.404
that she's learned
in college working

1576
01:09:05.473 --> 01:09:07.571
with all these wonderful chefs,

1577
01:09:07.640 --> 01:09:09.408
taken French techniques

1578
01:09:10.907 --> 01:09:15.909
and kind of amalgamated
and collaborated everything

1579
01:09:16.682 --> 01:09:18.015
and put it together

1580
01:09:18.083 --> 01:09:22.817
and has come up with a whole
new world of Pakistani food.

1581
01:09:26.692 --> 01:09:30.891
And that is what makes
me super proud as a mom.

1582
01:09:30.960 --> 01:09:34.499
That's actually been a
wonderful thing to watch,

1583
01:09:35.635 --> 01:09:38.701
to see her grow into
such a talented chef.

1584
01:09:41.036 --> 01:09:41.902
- Thanks mom.

1585
01:09:41.971 --> 01:09:44.740
- Yeah, there we go.

1586
01:09:44.809 --> 01:09:48.612
- Yeah, I was really excited
about having the show air,

1587
01:09:48.681 --> 01:09:51.318
making plans to possibly think

1588
01:09:51.387 --> 01:09:54.552
about opening up a
restaurant in New York.

1589
01:09:56.392 --> 01:09:57.124
There were a lot of things

1590
01:09:57.193 --> 01:09:58.233
that I was looking forward

1591
01:09:58.261 --> 01:10:02.395
to doing once we
wrapped up with filming.

1592
01:10:02.464 --> 01:10:04.793
The day after I landed
in New York, I got a call

1593
01:10:04.862 --> 01:10:08.434
from my aunt who needed
my help taking care

1594
01:10:08.503 --> 01:10:10.023
of my grandmother
who had fallen ill.

1595
01:10:10.065 --> 01:10:12.031
While I was staying with her,

1596
01:10:12.100 --> 01:10:15.738
I noticed that there was an
ache in my left shoulder.

1597
01:10:17.446 --> 01:10:19.721
I was sleeping in one of those
hospital's recliner chairs.

1598
01:10:19.745 --> 01:10:20.908
I hadn't been exercising.

1599
01:10:20.977 --> 01:10:22.976
And so I shrugged it off.

1600
01:10:23.045 --> 01:10:26.848
So about August of
2017 when I came back,

1601
01:10:26.917 --> 01:10:29.323
while I was working
there at the U.S. open,

1602
01:10:29.392 --> 01:10:33.492
I had a huge VIP table that I
was cooking fresh pasta for.

1603
01:10:33.561 --> 01:10:36.693
And while I was flipping
this pan of pasta,

1604
01:10:36.762 --> 01:10:41.302
the ache in my shoulder just
grew exponentially overnight.

1605
01:10:41.371 --> 01:10:43.436
My shoulder had
swollen up so much

1606
01:10:43.505 --> 01:10:46.868
that the bartender was handing
me a bag of ice to put on it.

1607
01:10:46.937 --> 01:10:49.310
And he took one look
at me and he was like,

1608
01:10:49.379 --> 01:10:50.674
"Chef, your shoulder is huge.

1609
01:10:50.743 --> 01:10:52.076
"You should go to a doctor."

1610
01:10:52.144 --> 01:10:56.746
And that took me about three
days to get to an orthopedic.

1611
01:10:56.815 --> 01:11:00.651
And he took one look at me
during his physical exam.

1612
01:11:01.985 --> 01:11:05.689
I burst into tears 'cause
I was in so much pain

1613
01:11:05.758 --> 01:11:08.054
that he knew something
wasn't right.

1614
01:11:08.123 --> 01:11:11.563
And he got me an MRI
that very same day.

1615
01:11:11.632 --> 01:11:14.599
He thought it was a good
idea for me to call someone

1616
01:11:14.668 --> 01:11:16.337
from my family to
help me through

1617
01:11:16.406 --> 01:11:20.770
because he had this
strange feeling

1618
01:11:20.839 --> 01:11:25.412
that it might be more serious
than he was anticipating.

1619
01:11:25.481 --> 01:11:29.482
And I'll never forget
hanging up the phone

1620
01:11:29.551 --> 01:11:32.012
and kind of being numb
and being really scared

1621
01:11:32.081 --> 01:11:37.292
that something really ominous
might be in my future.

1622
01:11:38.659 --> 01:11:41.021
And I called my brother who
was in Sydney, Australia.

1623
01:11:41.090 --> 01:11:42.189
He told me not to worry

1624
01:11:42.258 --> 01:11:44.497
that he was gonna get
on the next flight over.

1625
01:11:44.566 --> 01:11:46.895
He called my mom who was in
Palm Springs at the time.

1626
01:11:46.964 --> 01:11:50.800
And we ended up going to see
this oncologist in Long Island,

1627
01:11:50.869 --> 01:11:53.033
but my mom was
just not convinced,

1628
01:11:53.102 --> 01:11:54.201
call it a mother's instinct

1629
01:11:54.270 --> 01:11:56.806
that she just wanted to
get a second opinion.

1630
01:11:56.875 --> 01:11:58.709
And thankfully, we got
that second opinion

1631
01:11:58.778 --> 01:12:00.975
from doctors at Memorial
Sloan Kettering.

1632
01:12:01.044 --> 01:12:04.484
In the meantime, I
started losing sensation

1633
01:12:04.553 --> 01:12:06.585
in the left side of my face.

1634
01:12:07.886 --> 01:12:10.655
My brother and my mom just
knew that they had to rush me

1635
01:12:10.724 --> 01:12:11.990
to the emergency room

1636
01:12:12.059 --> 01:12:15.957
and thankfully they did at
Memorial Sloan Kettering.

1637
01:12:16.026 --> 01:12:18.058
We got there at
five in the morning.

1638
01:12:18.127 --> 01:12:20.830
And within five
days I was sitting

1639
01:12:20.899 --> 01:12:22.766
with my now oncologist.

1640
01:12:22.835 --> 01:12:24.471
His name was Dr. Wexler.

1641
01:12:24.540 --> 01:12:25.784
And he was holding
my hand telling me

1642
01:12:25.808 --> 01:12:30.444
that I had sarcoma, which
was a malignant tumor.

1643
01:12:30.513 --> 01:12:35.515
And being 28,
healthy, a non-smoker,

1644
01:12:38.587 --> 01:12:40.850
getting a cancer diagnosis
is just something

1645
01:12:40.919 --> 01:12:43.556
that nobody can prepare you for.

1646
01:12:43.625 --> 01:12:48.495
Hair loss, infertility,
weight gain, weight loss,

1647
01:12:48.564 --> 01:12:50.860
hot flashes, early
menopause, you name it.

1648
01:12:50.929 --> 01:12:52.006
He's going for all
of these things

1649
01:12:52.030 --> 01:12:53.670
and I'm just nodding
my head going like,

1650
01:12:53.734 --> 01:12:54.499
"Okay, I can deal with that.

1651
01:12:54.568 --> 01:12:56.569
"Okay, I can deal with that."

1652
01:12:56.638 --> 01:12:58.439
And I just had one
question for him.

1653
01:12:58.508 --> 01:12:59.584
I looked at him and I was like,

1654
01:12:59.608 --> 01:13:00.903
"Am I gonna lose my eyebrows?"

1655
01:13:00.972 --> 01:13:02.732
And he looked at me and
he was like, "Yeah."

1656
01:13:02.776 --> 01:13:05.644
And I burst into tears.

1657
01:13:05.713 --> 01:13:08.647
To me, that was just like
such an emotional thing

1658
01:13:08.716 --> 01:13:13.718
for me to have to go through
being 28 and not knowing

1659
01:13:15.789 --> 01:13:17.524
what was gonna
happen in my life.

1660
01:13:30.034 --> 01:13:31.769
Yeah, it's a lot.

1661
01:13:51.088 --> 01:13:53.956
- Oh, it's been very difficult.

1662
01:13:54.025 --> 01:13:59.027
It's been extremely
intense, very devastating

1663
01:13:59.833 --> 01:14:00.833
for us as a family.

1664
01:14:02.737 --> 01:14:06.738
I think there are days
when it's just tough

1665
01:14:19.655 --> 01:14:21.522
to see her go through it.

1666
01:14:21.591 --> 01:14:23.018
It's not been easy,

1667
01:14:26.255 --> 01:14:28.287
but she's a real fighter.

1668
01:14:28.356 --> 01:14:33.567
She's a trooper,
she hasn't given up.

1669
01:14:35.132 --> 01:14:38.539
And I guess being
a chef like I said,

1670
01:14:38.608 --> 01:14:40.200
food is such a comforting thing

1671
01:14:40.269 --> 01:14:44.842
for her that even through
her journey with cancer,

1672
01:14:44.911 --> 01:14:48.813
she continues to go
back to either cooking

1673
01:14:50.114 --> 01:14:55.116
and even eating her food.

1674
01:14:56.219 --> 01:14:58.691
I'm sorry I got distracted.

1675
01:14:58.760 --> 01:14:59.880
- No, it's okay, it's okay.

1676
01:15:01.389 --> 01:15:06.600
- But, it's been difficult
for us as a family.

1677
01:15:08.099 --> 01:15:09.867
It came as a huge shock.

1678
01:15:09.936 --> 01:15:11.000
- Let's be realistic.

1679
01:15:11.069 --> 01:15:13.574
She is not an ordinary person.

1680
01:15:13.643 --> 01:15:16.841
She is very, very
strong in a lot of ways

1681
01:15:16.910 --> 01:15:19.514
which you have never
seen her before.

1682
01:15:20.650 --> 01:15:23.947
So that's her.

1683
01:15:24.016 --> 01:15:27.181
And she's quite
unique in that sense.

1684
01:15:33.663 --> 01:15:34.663
- Thank you.

1685
01:15:36.864 --> 01:15:40.865
- And it's been a rough
road for all of us,

1686
01:15:40.934 --> 01:15:43.197
but we're nearly there now.

1687
01:15:43.266 --> 01:15:47.872
So I'm hoping that
it will be behind us.

1688
01:15:47.941 --> 01:15:51.205
- It's something that
doesn't leave you,

1689
01:15:52.979 --> 01:15:56.342
but it's something that you
kind of get used to every day.

1690
01:15:56.411 --> 01:15:57.948
I'm definitely not
the same person

1691
01:15:58.017 --> 01:16:00.819
that I was before I was
diagnosed with cancer,

1692
01:16:02.384 --> 01:16:07.595
but it makes you
really appreciate

1693
01:16:08.995 --> 01:16:11.863
so many things about your life.

1694
01:16:11.932 --> 01:16:14.767
It's been a really
tough journey for me.

1695
01:16:14.836 --> 01:16:16.113
It's been a really tough journey

1696
01:16:16.137 --> 01:16:20.905
for my family, but now that
having gone through that

1697
01:16:22.041 --> 01:16:23.908
and seeing the light at
the end of the tunnel,

1698
01:16:23.977 --> 01:16:28.616
almost being done with
treatment, yeah it's amazing.

1699
01:16:30.082 --> 01:16:33.049
I've been incredibly lucky having the kind
of support system

1700
01:16:33.118 --> 01:16:35.920
that I have around me during
this really horrible time

1701
01:16:35.989 --> 01:16:39.253
in my life and that
has made it impossible

1702
01:16:39.322 --> 01:16:42.993
for me to be anything
but positive.

1703
01:16:43.062 --> 01:16:45.798
Just having all these wonderful
people around me pushes me

1704
01:16:45.867 --> 01:16:47.195
to make sure that I'm okay.

1705
01:16:49.233 --> 01:16:52.134
I have to believe that
everything will work out

1706
01:16:52.203 --> 01:16:55.874
because I truly
believe that it will.

1707
01:17:27.172 --> 01:17:29.171
- New York,
please welcome Fatima Ali.

1708
01:17:29.240 --> 01:17:31.943
- So in July I had clear scans.

1709
01:17:32.012 --> 01:17:35.815
I was technically cancer-free
and I had this weird ache

1710
01:17:35.884 --> 01:17:39.445
in my left hip after
we moved to Los Angeles

1711
01:17:39.514 --> 01:17:41.986
and I had this nagging feeling
that something wasn't right.

1712
01:17:42.055 --> 01:17:44.054
So we went back to New York,

1713
01:17:44.123 --> 01:17:47.222
got another PET scan and
my doctor sat us down

1714
01:17:47.291 --> 01:17:49.422
and they were like,
"Look, the cancer's back.

1715
01:17:49.491 --> 01:17:53.129
"It's metastasized, the
chemo has not worked."

1716
01:17:53.198 --> 01:17:55.329
And I looked at my
doctor and I was like,

1717
01:17:55.398 --> 01:17:57.199
"Tell me straight,
how long do I have?"

1718
01:17:57.268 --> 01:17:59.036
And he's like, "A year."

1719
01:18:00.337 --> 01:18:01.401
It's a lot.

1720
01:18:01.470 --> 01:18:02.614
- Yeah, that's a lot to hear.

1721
01:18:02.638 --> 01:18:06.076
- Well, I get to cross
this off my bucket list.

1722
01:18:06.145 --> 01:18:08.012
This is huge.

1723
01:18:08.081 --> 01:18:10.916
Honestly, I have so many
restaurants I wanna go

1724
01:18:10.985 --> 01:18:11.985
to around Europe.

1725
01:18:12.053 --> 01:18:13.197
You're obviously
invited so is Portia.

1726
01:18:13.221 --> 01:18:17.758
And go to Italy, go to
France, go to Spain,

1727
01:18:17.827 --> 01:18:20.024
go to South Africa,
go on a Safari.

1728
01:18:20.093 --> 01:18:21.355
So many things I want to do.

1729
01:18:33.909 --> 01:18:35.270
It tastes like water.

1730
01:18:35.339 --> 01:18:36.238
- You said the other day,

1731
01:18:36.307 --> 01:18:37.384
when you were
talking to friends,

1732
01:18:37.408 --> 01:18:42.816
you were like, "It
doesn't feel like me.

1733
01:18:47.318 --> 01:18:49.185
"I'm watching these things."

1734
01:18:50.354 --> 01:18:53.926
- Yeah well, it doesn't
feel like much my life.

1735
01:18:53.995 --> 01:18:55.323
Yeah, it doesn't.

1736
01:18:55.392 --> 01:18:56.929
- So what does it feel like?

1737
01:18:56.998 --> 01:18:58.799
- I know all these
things have happened

1738
01:18:58.868 --> 01:19:03.837
and I know I've done them,
but it's like, I don't know.

1739
01:19:08.878 --> 01:19:12.010
It doesn't feel like
it's still my life.

1740
01:19:12.079 --> 01:19:13.880
I watch these
clips, like I said,

1741
01:19:13.949 --> 01:19:16.311
I know that isn't me.

1742
01:19:20.450 --> 01:19:22.152
I may know what that feels like.

1743
01:19:25.257 --> 01:19:27.388
I know what it felt like
to be in that moment,

1744
01:19:28.898 --> 01:19:31.997
but I don't know, it
just doesn't feel real.

1745
01:19:33.397 --> 01:19:35.429
People say the
craziest things to me

1746
01:19:35.498 --> 01:19:37.497
and I'm like, "I'm not that."

1747
01:19:37.566 --> 01:19:42.777
It's like I don't feel
like what they're saying.

1748
01:19:43.913 --> 01:19:45.146
- What are they saying?

1749
01:19:45.214 --> 01:19:46.291
- Because they're like,
"You're such an inspiration."

1750
01:19:46.315 --> 01:19:48.508
And all these really,
really nice things

1751
01:19:48.577 --> 01:19:53.788
and in my head I'm just
like, "I'm just me."

1752
01:20:00.391 --> 01:20:02.797
I just said and did
whatever I thought.

1753
01:20:05.066 --> 01:20:06.625
Being in the
moment, being myself

1754
01:20:06.694 --> 01:20:11.102
so it just feels like
even more of a fraud.

1755
01:20:11.171 --> 01:20:13.005
I just feel like
even more of a fraud.

1756
01:20:13.074 --> 01:20:13.940
- You feel like a fraud?

1757
01:20:14.008 --> 01:20:15.271
- [Yeah.
- {Mohammad] Why?

1758
01:20:17.177 --> 01:20:19.011
Why do you feel like a fraud?

1759
01:20:19.080 --> 01:20:21.079
- Because, I don't know,

1760
01:20:23.953 --> 01:20:26.381
I'm not an inspiration.

1761
01:20:26.450 --> 01:20:30.055
- But you can't
say you're an inspiration

1762
01:20:30.124 --> 01:20:31.452
or you can't decide that.

1763
01:20:32.522 --> 01:20:34.158
That's not how it works.

1764
01:20:34.227 --> 01:20:36.930
When you look ahead,
does anybody inspire you?

1765
01:20:38.594 --> 01:20:39.604
- Lots of people inspire me.

1766
01:20:39.628 --> 01:20:40.661
- And what do you think,

1767
01:20:40.729 --> 01:20:41.740
they wake up every
morning and be like,

1768
01:20:41.764 --> 01:20:46.236
"I don't wanna be
an inspiration."

1769
01:20:46.305 --> 01:20:49.074
- No.
- "Or I'm trying

1770
01:20:49.143 --> 01:20:51.043
"to be an inspiration."

1771
01:21:12.727 --> 01:21:16.101
- It's hard to
talk about someone

1772
01:21:17.567 --> 01:21:21.942
that isn't with us
anymore that we lost.

1773
01:21:23.309 --> 01:21:27.244
I don't even think there are
words to describe the amount

1774
01:21:27.313 --> 01:21:30.643
of aspiration that can
be drawn from her story.

1775
01:21:30.712 --> 01:21:32.953
- She was incredible
on so many levels.

1776
01:21:33.022 --> 01:21:34.982
First and foremost, it's
just one of those people

1777
01:21:35.024 --> 01:21:38.090
who instantly when you met,

1778
01:21:38.159 --> 01:21:40.224
you were like just a magnet.

1779
01:21:40.293 --> 01:21:42.622
She was just an
absolute magnetic person

1780
01:21:42.691 --> 01:21:44.228
to the truest degree of it.

1781
01:21:44.297 --> 01:21:47.363
- She's special, she sparkles.

1782
01:21:47.432 --> 01:21:52.071
Her spirit, her energy,
it draws you in.

1783
01:21:52.140 --> 01:21:55.107
- It's hard, she
was one of a kind.

1784
01:21:55.176 --> 01:21:57.373
- She was talented, she
was fierce, she was funny,

1785
01:21:57.442 --> 01:21:59.210
she was beautiful.

1786
01:21:59.279 --> 01:22:01.674
She was absolutely,

1787
01:22:02.777 --> 01:22:06.184
but I think that's what
made her great too.

1788
01:22:06.253 --> 01:22:08.582
- She's a beautiful
ball with contradiction.

1789
01:22:08.651 --> 01:22:11.420
She's a tomboy, but she's girly.

1790
01:22:11.489 --> 01:22:15.127
She's fearless, but she
still questions for herself.

1791
01:22:15.196 --> 01:22:20.000
She is wise and mature,
but she's still excited

1792
01:22:20.069 --> 01:22:22.002
about life and
learning new things

1793
01:22:22.071 --> 01:22:23.498
and experiencing the world.

1794
01:22:24.502 --> 01:22:26.666
She's ambitious and driven,

1795
01:22:26.735 --> 01:22:28.536
but still just
wants to spend time

1796
01:22:28.605 --> 01:22:31.572
at home with her family and
the people that she loves.

1797
01:22:31.641 --> 01:22:36.643
- She was the strongest,
strongest person I know.

1798
01:22:37.812 --> 01:22:40.416
- She is truly the
best of all of us

1799
01:22:40.485 --> 01:22:44.222
and everything that we can
hope to be as human beings.

1800
01:22:44.291 --> 01:22:48.193
- She never had it easy
and took everything

1801
01:22:48.262 --> 01:22:52.791
with a smile and with
strength and with positivity.

1802
01:22:52.860 --> 01:22:57.169
So I think that shows
how powerful her life was

1803
01:22:57.238 --> 01:23:01.701
that she was able to
keep it shining no matter

1804
01:23:01.770 --> 01:23:06.981
how dark it was becoming.

1805
01:23:08.348 --> 01:23:10.668
- We had somehow found each
other in this life as friends.

1806
01:23:11.252 --> 01:23:12.745
It was a very kismet thing

1807
01:23:12.814 --> 01:23:17.321
and we loved her like
our own, like our sister.

1808
01:23:17.390 --> 01:23:22.062
And she's unreplaceable and
we just had the privilege

1809
01:23:22.131 --> 01:23:25.065
and the burden of trying
to carry on her legacy,

1810
01:23:25.134 --> 01:23:27.232
carrying on everything she did

1811
01:23:27.301 --> 01:23:29.630
and I hope we make her proud.

1812
01:23:37.410 --> 01:23:40.278
- So thank you so much
Padma for taking some time

1813
01:23:40.347 --> 01:23:42.346
to chat about Fatima.

1814
01:23:42.415 --> 01:23:44.381
You know Fatima
mentioned in many places

1815
01:23:44.450 --> 01:23:47.615
that you were a big
influence and hero on her.

1816
01:23:47.684 --> 01:23:49.254
How do you feel about that?

1817
01:23:49.323 --> 01:23:51.454
- I'm happy she saw me that way.

1818
01:23:51.523 --> 01:23:56.525
I'm sad that I am the only
one she saw for so long.

1819
01:23:57.892 --> 01:24:01.365
I had my own version of that
and so I'm always flattered.

1820
01:24:02.501 --> 01:24:04.698
I'm always pleased
that I could do that

1821
01:24:04.767 --> 01:24:07.668
for Fatima especially.

1822
01:24:09.178 --> 01:24:12.178
She just was such a bright
light in the kitchen.

1823
01:24:13.446 --> 01:24:14.446
I was flattered.

1824
01:24:14.514 --> 01:24:16.512
- And then she gets
this horrible news

1825
01:24:16.581 --> 01:24:18.448
that she's got sarcoma.

1826
01:24:19.320 --> 01:24:20.615
What was your reaction to that?

1827
01:24:20.684 --> 01:24:22.881
- I mean, I was devastated.

1828
01:24:22.950 --> 01:24:28.161
I have to tell you I can
count on one hand the amount

1829
01:24:29.462 --> 01:24:33.826
of South Asian contestants
we've had across all the seasons

1830
01:24:34.929 --> 01:24:35.661
of "Top Chef".

1831
01:24:35.730 --> 01:24:36.829
Not only because of that,

1832
01:24:36.898 --> 01:24:41.768
but because she was such
a special human being

1833
01:24:41.837 --> 01:24:43.070
and it just seems so cruel

1834
01:24:43.138 --> 01:24:46.542
because she was so young
and she had so much going

1835
01:24:46.611 --> 01:24:50.084
for her and it's never the
boring ones that cancer gets.

1836
01:24:52.815 --> 01:24:56.618
It's always these sort
of bright, charismatics,

1837
01:24:56.687 --> 01:24:57.883
special, special people.

1838
01:24:57.952 --> 01:24:58.751
And Fatima was like that.

1839
01:24:58.820 --> 01:25:02.162
She had a great sense of humor.

1840
01:25:02.231 --> 01:25:07.233
She was witty and whip smart
and a pleasure to have around.

1841
01:25:08.501 --> 01:25:11.699
And you couldn't look
at her smiling face

1842
01:25:11.768 --> 01:25:13.437
without smiling yourself.

1843
01:25:13.506 --> 01:25:15.769
- Just so you know
what happened.

1844
01:25:15.838 --> 01:25:18.673
It came back and
then we lost her.

1845
01:25:19.578 --> 01:25:21.544
- It was terrible.

1846
01:25:21.613 --> 01:25:25.911
It was absolutely devastating.

1847
01:25:25.980 --> 01:25:30.289
And when we heard that
the cancer had spread,

1848
01:25:33.526 --> 01:25:35.789
I kinda knew that was the end.

1849
01:25:35.858 --> 01:25:38.594
Then I came to the
hospital a few times.

1850
01:25:38.663 --> 01:25:43.203
I met her sisters and they're
such a wonderful family

1851
01:25:43.272 --> 01:25:44.930
and they reminded
me of my family.

1852
01:25:44.999 --> 01:25:47.603
I saw that look of worry

1853
01:25:47.672 --> 01:25:49.968
for your child that I saw
on Fatima's mother's face.

1854
01:25:50.037 --> 01:25:53.906
I saw it on my own mother's
face when I had a car accident.

1855
01:25:53.975 --> 01:25:55.241
I know that look.

1856
01:25:55.310 --> 01:25:59.813
It's the look of a mother
who feels completely helpless

1857
01:25:59.882 --> 01:26:03.223
and no mother should ever feel
that way about their child.

1858
01:26:03.985 --> 01:26:06.655
I grew to be really fond

1859
01:26:06.724 --> 01:26:11.363
of her parents and
her brother Mohammad.

1860
01:26:11.432 --> 01:26:16.434
And I came to see Fatima as
kind of a younger sister.

1861
01:26:20.540 --> 01:26:22.506
I'm very close to my family

1862
01:26:22.575 --> 01:26:25.575
and my cousins function
like my siblings,

1863
01:26:25.644 --> 01:26:27.478
but here was a sister
in the kitchen.

1864
01:26:27.547 --> 01:26:29.777
But then when I got
to know her family

1865
01:26:29.846 --> 01:26:34.848
and her again under these
very extreme circumstances,

1866
01:26:35.753 --> 01:26:37.488
I kind of fell in love with her.

1867
01:26:37.557 --> 01:26:40.392
And I guess I saw
my younger self

1868
01:26:40.461 --> 01:26:44.627
in her too and I wanted her
to have the opportunities

1869
01:26:44.696 --> 01:26:47.399
that maybe I hadn't had or women

1870
01:26:47.468 --> 01:26:49.764
in my generation didn't have.

1871
01:26:49.833 --> 01:26:53.306
And I'm just sorry she
didn't get that chance.

1872
01:26:53.375 --> 01:26:56.804
Fatima may have been
inspired in her life

1873
01:26:56.873 --> 01:27:01.006
by me again, which is super
flattering and such an honor

1874
01:27:01.075 --> 01:27:03.415
but in the end of her life,

1875
01:27:03.484 --> 01:27:05.318
she was quite inspiring

1876
01:27:05.387 --> 01:27:09.982
in the way she trudged
forward full steam ahead

1877
01:27:10.051 --> 01:27:12.853
and made plans, started writing

1878
01:27:12.922 --> 01:27:17.792
because she was in a
hospital bed, went on Ellen,

1879
01:27:17.861 --> 01:27:22.698
did whatever she could to
remain active in the face

1880
01:27:22.767 --> 01:27:27.769
of such monumental opposition
because of her cancer.

1881
01:27:30.511 --> 01:27:31.344
I'm just sad.

1882
01:27:31.413 --> 01:27:32.712
I think about her.

1883
01:27:32.781 --> 01:27:37.383
I look at pictures of her and
she had so much possibility

1884
01:27:39.784 --> 01:27:42.421
and she saw so much possibility.

1885
01:27:43.788 --> 01:27:47.591
This is a girl who grew up in
a school in Pakistan saying,

1886
01:27:47.660 --> 01:27:48.889
"I wanna be on "Top Chef".

1887
01:27:48.958 --> 01:27:50.891
And then she's on "Top Chef".

1888
01:27:53.402 --> 01:27:56.061
This is a girl who
admired Susan Sarandon

1889
01:27:56.130 --> 01:27:58.998
and somehow she got to
meet Susan Sarandon.

1890
01:27:59.067 --> 01:28:00.300
And then she got to go

1891
01:28:00.368 --> 01:28:02.969
on "The Ellen Show" and
she was a force of nature.

1892
01:28:03.038 --> 01:28:07.809
And I'm just sorry that
cancer took her away

1893
01:28:07.878 --> 01:28:10.878
from us so early.

1894
01:28:10.947 --> 01:28:15.487
Really, what can you
say about a 27 year old

1895
01:28:15.556 --> 01:28:19.623
who gets Ewing sarcoma who
hasn't really had a chance

1896
01:28:19.692 --> 01:28:21.394
to spread her wings?

1897
01:28:21.463 --> 01:28:23.957
That she was kind,
that she was funny

1898
01:28:25.500 --> 01:28:27.730
that she was a good writer,
that she loved really hard

1899
01:28:27.799 --> 01:28:31.536
and was very warm and there
for all her friends and family,

1900
01:28:31.605 --> 01:28:33.131
that she was a magical thinker

1901
01:28:33.200 --> 01:28:36.640
and made you laugh all the time.

1902
01:28:36.709 --> 01:28:39.709
- Everyone at home who
voted for fan favorite,

1903
01:28:39.778 --> 01:28:40.443
I have good news.

1904
01:28:40.512 --> 01:28:41.544
I'm announcing it now.

1905
01:28:41.613 --> 01:28:44.582
The winner and the
recipient of $10,000

1906
01:28:44.651 --> 01:28:47.816
is Fatima Ali!

1907
01:28:49.920 --> 01:28:52.458
- I think the most
important thing

1908
01:28:54.089 --> 01:28:57.694
for female chefs in general is
just to build each other up.

1909
01:28:57.763 --> 01:28:59.531
I think having that
kind of network

1910
01:28:59.600 --> 01:29:03.062
and reaching out to one another
and having the opportunity

1911
01:29:03.131 --> 01:29:05.735
to collaborate is so important.

1912
01:29:05.804 --> 01:29:09.640
And that's the only way we
can become better and rise up.

1913
01:29:09.709 --> 01:29:12.478
And I think that's the
most exciting thing

1914
01:29:12.547 --> 01:29:15.943
is having the kind
of infrastructure

1915
01:29:16.012 --> 01:29:18.011
all around the world really,

1916
01:29:18.080 --> 01:29:22.048
having these really fantastic
female chefs helming kitchens

1917
01:29:22.117 --> 01:29:25.425
and being able to use
each other as resources.

1918
01:29:25.494 --> 01:29:29.627
- My inspiration, I
know this is so cheesy,

1919
01:29:30.763 --> 01:29:33.191
but I have to say
it, it's my grandma.

1920
01:29:33.260 --> 01:29:34.731
How can it not be?

1921
01:29:34.800 --> 01:29:36.128
She taught me how to love food.

1922
01:29:36.197 --> 01:29:38.130
She taught me how
to cook for people.

1923
01:29:38.199 --> 01:29:41.441
- In her heart, family
is really precious to her

1924
01:29:41.510 --> 01:29:42.776
that's number one.

1925
01:29:42.845 --> 01:29:45.907
In our culture, it's very
hard to express verbally,

1926
01:29:45.976 --> 01:29:48.580
but we know from how
they look at her,

1927
01:29:48.649 --> 01:29:51.979
how they treat her,
it's like beyond words.

1928
01:29:52.048 --> 01:29:53.750
It's amazing what
she accomplished

1929
01:29:53.819 --> 01:29:55.422
and I'm very proud of her too.

1930
01:29:57.119 --> 01:29:58.119
- Thank you.

1931
01:30:00.056 --> 01:30:01.056
I was a nobody.

1932
01:30:01.090 --> 01:30:03.056
I didn't really
have chef friends

1933
01:30:03.125 --> 01:30:05.696
or industry people or whatever.

1934
01:30:05.765 --> 01:30:07.064
I was just so young.

1935
01:30:07.133 --> 01:30:11.504
It was hard because I had to
make the mistakes to learn.

1936
01:30:11.573 --> 01:30:14.474
And I guess that's sort
of my personality too.

1937
01:30:14.543 --> 01:30:15.342
I'm very stubborn.

1938
01:30:15.411 --> 01:30:17.477
I just have to do it my own way

1939
01:30:17.546 --> 01:30:19.974
and figure it out because
I feel like you have

1940
01:30:20.043 --> 01:30:22.746
to make every
experience your own.

1941
01:30:22.815 --> 01:30:25.683
Somehow I managed to
put something together.

1942
01:30:26.819 --> 01:30:29.082
- I would definitely say
that The Edge was born

1943
01:30:29.151 --> 01:30:33.493
from Juliet and
myself taking a leap.

1944
01:30:33.562 --> 01:30:35.726
There's this quote, "Leap
and the net will appear."

1945
01:30:35.795 --> 01:30:37.629
Thank goodness the net appeared

1946
01:30:37.698 --> 01:30:39.796
'cause we leaped off the cliff.

1947
01:30:39.865 --> 01:30:43.635
And I think you don't have
all your ducks in a row

1948
01:30:43.704 --> 01:30:47.705
but you take risks
and chances anyway.

1949
01:30:47.774 --> 01:30:49.213
Of course, you try
to be as organized

1950
01:30:49.237 --> 01:30:51.907
as possible and as
researched as possible,

1951
01:30:51.976 --> 01:30:54.811
but sometimes you're not
completely clear on what it is

1952
01:30:54.880 --> 01:30:57.550
that you want to do and
how you wanna do it,

1953
01:30:57.619 --> 01:31:00.817
but you just have to
throw yourself into it.

1954
01:31:00.886 --> 01:31:05.855
I will say that I'm
tremendously proud of my sister.

1955
01:31:06.958 --> 01:31:09.221
I also have been
humbled by the fact

1956
01:31:09.290 --> 01:31:12.191
that she did always
tell me that it's okay,

1957
01:31:12.260 --> 01:31:13.392
this is gonna work out

1958
01:31:13.461 --> 01:31:14.505
and we're gonna do
something great together.

1959
01:31:14.529 --> 01:31:17.603
She led the way to
create this space.

1960
01:31:17.672 --> 01:31:19.935
It has been an
absolute joy to watch.

1961
01:31:20.004 --> 01:31:22.707
- I can't imagine having this
place now without Justine.

1962
01:31:22.776 --> 01:31:26.040
I mean, she's such an
integral part of the everyday

1963
01:31:26.109 --> 01:31:28.581
of the restaurant and
feeling the way it feels

1964
01:31:28.650 --> 01:31:32.717
and she's the most
trusted person in my life.

1965
01:31:32.786 --> 01:31:35.049
Tell each other,
honestly and truthfully

1966
01:31:35.118 --> 01:31:37.084
when things go wrong or right.

1967
01:31:37.153 --> 01:31:39.955
She's the person I can
celebrate this with

1968
01:31:40.024 --> 01:31:41.924
and she's on the
battlefield with me

1969
01:31:41.993 --> 01:31:45.664
and I couldn't ask for
a better person to be

1970
01:31:45.733 --> 01:31:47.032
on the battlefield with me.

1971
01:31:47.101 --> 01:31:51.901
I mean, this is my sister who
is not my twin but my twin.

1972
01:31:54.005 --> 01:31:55.246
- And then they cleaned
the green beans.

1973
01:31:55.270 --> 01:31:56.609
There's no tops on them?

1974
01:31:57.305 --> 01:31:59.271
Fuck yeah, it's green bean time.

1975
01:31:59.340 --> 01:32:00.955
I just said fuck yeah,
it's green bean time.

1976
01:32:00.979 --> 01:32:03.517
Totally 100%, it's amazing.

1977
01:32:04.686 --> 01:32:06.026
Who's more excited
about green beans?

1978
01:32:06.050 --> 01:32:07.349
Obviously we are.

1979
01:32:07.418 --> 01:32:10.821
I've worked alongside some
amazing chefs and restaurateurs.

1980
01:32:10.890 --> 01:32:12.658
And maybe not by coincidence,

1981
01:32:12.727 --> 01:32:15.122
some of the hardest
working most innovative

1982
01:32:15.191 --> 01:32:17.663
and passionate among
them have been women.

1983
01:32:17.732 --> 01:32:19.731
Missy Robbins is a
woman that stands behind

1984
01:32:19.800 --> 01:32:21.066
what she believes in.

1985
01:32:21.135 --> 01:32:24.736
The importance of ingredients,
the integrity of flavor

1986
01:32:24.805 --> 01:32:27.299
and the delivery of
honoring tradition in tandem

1987
01:32:27.368 --> 01:32:29.939
with authentic
Italian hospitality.

1988
01:32:30.008 --> 01:32:31.207
To this day,

1989
01:32:31.276 --> 01:32:33.272
we still exchange recipes
and stories of travel.

1990
01:32:34.815 --> 01:32:36.353
For that matter, one of the
greatest things about working

1991
01:32:36.377 --> 01:32:38.783
with Vicki Freeman is
her love of travel,

1992
01:32:38.852 --> 01:32:40.620
her love of exploration

1993
01:32:40.689 --> 01:32:43.282
and her love of finding
the next best thing.

1994
01:32:43.351 --> 01:32:46.857
Whether it's something new
or a time honored tradition

1995
01:32:46.926 --> 01:32:48.760
at risk of being lost,

1996
01:32:48.829 --> 01:32:51.697
Vicky is always a proponent
of capturing the wisdom

1997
01:32:51.766 --> 01:32:56.031
of travel so that we can take
that back to the restaurants

1998
01:32:56.100 --> 01:33:00.838
and learn, teach, and share
that inspiration with our teams.

1999
01:33:01.710 --> 01:33:03.940
I love travel so much.

2000
01:33:04.009 --> 01:33:06.107
It has become one of
my greatest teachers.

2001
01:33:07.375 --> 01:33:09.946
I think part of our
industry that is so special

2002
01:33:10.015 --> 01:33:14.049
is this kind of education,
the constant vulnerability

2003
01:33:14.118 --> 01:33:16.920
and the constant
growth it brings.

2004
01:33:16.989 --> 01:33:17.989
- My career has taken

2005
01:33:18.023 --> 01:33:20.792
this interesting
full circle path,

2006
01:33:20.861 --> 01:33:23.289
which I don't think is,

2007
01:33:23.358 --> 01:33:26.666
if it happens for you, great,
if it doesn't, that's great.

2008
01:33:26.735 --> 01:33:30.802
I started with Sohui at The
Good Fork over a decade ago

2009
01:33:30.871 --> 01:33:35.334
and I did this big kind of
circle and she was always there

2010
01:33:35.403 --> 01:33:38.040
as a mentor for me
throughout the whole thing.

2011
01:33:38.109 --> 01:33:43.111
Returning to her kitchen, it's
such a sense of homecoming.

2012
01:33:45.446 --> 01:33:47.247
It's not about me saying,

2013
01:33:47.316 --> 01:33:49.216
"Hey, when you met me,
I didn't know anything

2014
01:33:49.285 --> 01:33:52.120
"and look at me
now a decade later,

2015
01:33:52.189 --> 01:33:55.288
"I'm this chef and I
know all this stuff."

2016
01:33:55.357 --> 01:33:59.391
I just wanna show her how
important that relationship

2017
01:33:59.460 --> 01:34:00.492
is to me.

2018
01:34:00.561 --> 01:34:05.364
That mentorship, it'll
make your career.

2019
01:34:05.433 --> 01:34:10.336
I'm emotional about it because
it's those good mentors,

2020
01:34:10.405 --> 01:34:12.074
we owe them everything.

2021
01:34:12.143 --> 01:34:13.911
And if I can do
that for somebody,

2022
01:34:16.015 --> 01:34:18.850
that will be better than
anything I ever cook.

2023
01:34:26.795 --> 01:34:28.728
- I mean, we've never
worked together before,

2024
01:34:28.797 --> 01:34:29.929
we just ate together.

2025
01:34:29.998 --> 01:34:32.391
And it's just one
meeting planning the menu

2026
01:34:32.460 --> 01:34:35.130
and we make all things happen.

2027
01:34:35.199 --> 01:34:37.396
So I said the more the merrier

2028
01:34:37.465 --> 01:34:40.806
and whoever said
girls can't get along?

2029
01:34:40.875 --> 01:34:42.104
- That's just crazy.

2030
01:34:42.173 --> 01:34:43.105
I've never heard that.

2031
01:34:43.174 --> 01:34:44.340
I honestly think that

2032
01:34:44.409 --> 01:34:46.186
that comes from women
having to be so competitive

2033
01:34:46.210 --> 01:34:47.307
in a man's world.

2034
01:34:49.246 --> 01:34:50.011
For so many years,

2035
01:34:50.080 --> 01:34:52.246
people have grown up thinking

2036
01:34:52.315 --> 01:34:53.459
there's not enough room for me.

2037
01:34:53.483 --> 01:34:55.480
There's only gonna be
one woman at this event

2038
01:34:55.549 --> 01:34:57.449
and that's not true anymore.

2039
01:34:57.518 --> 01:34:59.001
So we don't have to
act like that anymore.

2040
01:34:59.025 --> 01:35:00.760
- Cool.
- Cheers.

2041
01:35:00.829 --> 01:35:03.763
- Cheers, let's rule the world!

2042
01:35:03.832 --> 01:35:06.524
- It actually boils down to a
very simple, chefy kind of way

2043
01:35:06.593 --> 01:35:07.659
of thinking for me.

2044
01:35:07.727 --> 01:35:12.167
I've seen so much and
I've evolved so much

2045
01:35:12.236 --> 01:35:14.499
in this business and
television shows,

2046
01:35:14.568 --> 01:35:19.306
and restaurants and seasonality,
different environments.

2047
01:35:19.375 --> 01:35:20.474
It kind of comes down

2048
01:35:20.543 --> 01:35:25.312
to I said I like female
sort of nurtured food.

2049
01:35:26.118 --> 01:35:27.184
And I think what I mean

2050
01:35:27.252 --> 01:35:30.053
by that is not
necessarily just a gender,

2051
01:35:30.122 --> 01:35:32.352
but I like the sensitivity

2052
01:35:32.421 --> 01:35:36.290
that maybe we've just
sort of put on females,

2053
01:35:36.359 --> 01:35:38.061
but I actually love
so many ingredients

2054
01:35:38.130 --> 01:35:39.931
and so many different
kinds of people.

2055
01:35:40.000 --> 01:35:43.297
And I think about it as if
I'm at the farmer's market

2056
01:35:43.366 --> 01:35:46.102
and there's all these
varietals of heirloom tomatoes

2057
01:35:46.171 --> 01:35:47.807
and I don't have a favorite one.

2058
01:35:47.876 --> 01:35:49.042
I just like all of them

2059
01:35:49.111 --> 01:35:52.174
because they're all
unique and all so special.

2060
01:35:53.508 --> 01:35:54.518
And so now I'm gonna have
to buy like 20 of them

2061
01:35:54.542 --> 01:35:59.544
because I wanna
celebrate all of it.

2062
01:35:59.613 --> 01:36:03.757
For me, that's exactly what
we should look at people like,

2063
01:36:05.124 --> 01:36:08.553
and food and all of our
traditions and innovativeness.

2064
01:36:08.622 --> 01:36:10.456
There's a lot of
information here

2065
01:36:10.525 --> 01:36:14.966
and we need to celebrate and
take care of that angle of it

2066
01:36:15.035 --> 01:36:17.100
because that actually is
the most important thing

2067
01:36:17.169 --> 01:36:19.234
about the planet.

2068
01:36:19.303 --> 01:36:21.500
- You plan a lot.

2069
01:36:21.569 --> 01:36:24.371
You're sitting over there,
you make plans for your life.

2070
01:36:24.440 --> 01:36:26.109
You make plans for your work,

2071
01:36:26.178 --> 01:36:29.244
plans to open up a
restaurant, plans to travel.

2072
01:36:29.313 --> 01:36:31.609
And sometimes you just don't get

2073
01:36:31.678 --> 01:36:34.117
that timeline the
way you wanted it.

2074
01:36:34.186 --> 01:36:35.385
And I think for me,

2075
01:36:35.454 --> 01:36:37.582
the biggest takeaway from
this whole experience

2076
01:36:37.651 --> 01:36:39.991
is that you just got to do it

2077
01:36:40.060 --> 01:36:44.259
and it's just really pushed
me to make things happen now.

2078
01:36:44.328 --> 01:36:45.561
When I was younger,

2079
01:36:45.629 --> 01:36:48.131
I think I always had all
these big dreams in my head

2080
01:36:48.200 --> 01:36:51.332
and I was maybe a little bit
hesitant to always follow them,

2081
01:36:51.401 --> 01:36:54.467
but there's no
holding back anymore.

2082
01:36:56.076 --> 01:36:59.571
- This is the story of
a woman and her name is Chef.