1 00:00:00,125 --> 00:00:03,208 (film reel whirring) 2 00:00:02,000 --> 00:00:07,000 Downloaded from YTS.MX 3 00:00:07,106 --> 00:00:09,643 (relaxing music) 4 00:00:08,000 --> 00:00:13,000 Official YIFY movies site: YTS.MX 5 00:00:09,643 --> 00:00:14,643 ♪ What is sadness, boy ♪ 6 00:00:18,578 --> 00:00:23,578 ♪ But this broken wretch ♪ 7 00:00:27,064 --> 00:00:32,064 ♪ I'm suspended high above ♪ 8 00:00:35,769 --> 00:00:39,352 ♪ Don't look down, my love ♪ 9 00:00:44,840 --> 00:00:49,840 (car engine roaring) (upbeat music) 10 00:00:51,003 --> 00:00:53,920 (trolley rattling) 11 00:01:03,676 --> 00:01:08,676 - [Immi Voiceover] (sighing) So much guilt. 12 00:01:13,883 --> 00:01:17,382 Okay, relax, it's just a good looking guy 13 00:01:17,382 --> 00:01:19,718 who's maybe checking you out. 14 00:01:19,718 --> 00:01:21,528 Don't get ahead of yourself. 15 00:01:21,528 --> 00:01:22,906 This is only the exact way 16 00:01:22,906 --> 00:01:25,739 that every romantic comedy starts. 17 00:01:30,757 --> 00:01:32,489 My soulmate. 18 00:01:32,489 --> 00:01:34,281 This is it, Immi the vegan, 19 00:01:34,281 --> 00:01:35,927 the first day of the rest of your life 20 00:01:35,927 --> 00:01:37,923 with the man of your... 21 00:01:37,923 --> 00:01:38,756 Ew. 22 00:01:45,109 --> 00:01:47,359 - It's the shoes, isn't it? 23 00:01:51,159 --> 00:01:52,083 - Doesn't help. 24 00:01:52,083 --> 00:01:55,247 (upbeat music) 25 00:01:55,247 --> 00:01:57,111 - [News Reader] Shocking video footage has emerged 26 00:01:57,111 --> 00:02:01,010 of a man in a vegan t-shirt being accosted by a vegan woman 27 00:02:01,010 --> 00:02:02,684 late last night. 28 00:02:02,684 --> 00:02:06,760 Statistics show that presently 72% of vegans are women, 29 00:02:06,760 --> 00:02:08,698 causing the worst vegan man drought 30 00:02:08,698 --> 00:02:11,798 in the history of New Zealand. 31 00:02:11,798 --> 00:02:14,881 ♪ What to say to you ♪ 32 00:02:24,454 --> 00:02:28,573 ♪ It's always sunny where you are from ♪ 33 00:02:28,573 --> 00:02:32,293 ♪ I know ♪ 34 00:02:32,293 --> 00:02:35,358 ♪ It's lonely, oh ♪ 35 00:02:35,358 --> 00:02:37,738 - Ah, what is wrong with guys? 36 00:02:37,738 --> 00:02:42,091 ♪ I'll take you away to that summer ♪ 37 00:02:42,091 --> 00:02:44,711 (dramatic music) 38 00:02:44,711 --> 00:02:47,461 (Matt whistling) 39 00:02:48,573 --> 00:02:49,740 - Jane Austin. 40 00:02:52,059 --> 00:02:54,141 Why, I do declare. 41 00:02:54,141 --> 00:02:57,260 What are you doing in celestial mechanics? 42 00:02:57,260 --> 00:03:02,093 You don't even a Dewey number. (laughing) 43 00:03:30,430 --> 00:03:31,847 Is someone there? 44 00:03:34,250 --> 00:03:37,750 Matt, more returns, Matt, and before I go, 45 00:03:38,797 --> 00:03:40,258 I thought I ought to let you know 46 00:03:40,258 --> 00:03:43,889 that the job at the front desk has become vacant. 47 00:03:43,889 --> 00:03:46,722 - I've always dreamed of working on the front desk. 48 00:03:46,722 --> 00:03:48,992 I could give book recommendations 49 00:03:48,992 --> 00:03:50,115 and encourage people to read 50 00:03:50,115 --> 00:03:52,574 about the Red Army's desperate battles on the Eastern Front 51 00:03:52,574 --> 00:03:53,568 of World War II. 52 00:03:53,568 --> 00:03:56,200 - The library frowns upon making book recommendations, 53 00:03:56,200 --> 00:03:59,167 especially regarding battles on the Eastern Front. 54 00:03:59,167 --> 00:04:00,834 You know that, Matt. 55 00:04:04,912 --> 00:04:07,505 Still, I think you should seriously consider 56 00:04:07,505 --> 00:04:09,338 applying for the role. 57 00:04:12,531 --> 00:04:13,505 - Yes. 58 00:04:13,505 --> 00:04:16,175 ♪ Take you away to where the sun shines ♪ 59 00:04:16,175 --> 00:04:18,157 ♪ So bright, so bright ♪ 60 00:04:18,157 --> 00:04:20,955 ♪ You can stare at the stars at night ♪ 61 00:04:20,955 --> 00:04:22,456 - "Hey, Immi the Vegan. 62 00:04:22,456 --> 00:04:23,960 "I'm a musician too. 63 00:04:23,960 --> 00:04:25,985 "I play the viola. 64 00:04:25,985 --> 00:04:28,389 "Like you, I prefer to watch music live. 65 00:04:28,389 --> 00:04:29,222 "Don't you think the experience 66 00:04:29,222 --> 00:04:31,381 "is way more genuine that way? 67 00:04:31,381 --> 00:04:33,971 "I'd be interested in meeting up if you are?" 68 00:04:33,971 --> 00:04:36,996 Question mark, smiley face. 69 00:04:36,996 --> 00:04:40,389 "BTW, I also have some meat you'd like to eat." 70 00:04:40,389 --> 00:04:41,889 Aw. 71 00:04:41,889 --> 00:04:44,176 (door creaking) 72 00:04:44,176 --> 00:04:45,810 - Hey. - Hi. 73 00:04:45,810 --> 00:04:46,997 - What you doing? 74 00:04:46,997 --> 00:04:48,706 - Having terrible luck with online dating. 75 00:04:48,706 --> 00:04:49,706 - Great, aw. 76 00:04:51,317 --> 00:04:54,551 - Do you know how many dicks I've seen since I signed up? 77 00:04:54,551 --> 00:04:55,384 128. 78 00:04:56,592 --> 00:04:58,718 128 dicks, Matt. 79 00:04:58,718 --> 00:05:01,551 - That's a lot, but online dating? 80 00:05:03,390 --> 00:05:04,540 Why would you do that? 81 00:05:04,540 --> 00:05:06,315 - I don't know. 82 00:05:06,315 --> 00:05:07,898 To find a nice guy? 83 00:05:10,007 --> 00:05:13,080 Sure, I'm a strong, independent, feminist, eco-friendly, 84 00:05:13,080 --> 00:05:15,514 ultra-creative, vegan warrior, but I'd also like-- 85 00:05:15,514 --> 00:05:16,404 - Dicks? 86 00:05:16,404 --> 00:05:20,230 - Well, yeah, but don't have to be so crass about it. 87 00:05:20,230 --> 00:05:24,006 - Yeah, but online dating's so 2015. 88 00:05:24,006 --> 00:05:26,809 Isn't meeting somebody in real life and getting to know them 89 00:05:26,809 --> 00:05:28,857 as a friend first so much better? 90 00:05:28,857 --> 00:05:31,606 Then they can just consensually show you their dick, 91 00:05:31,606 --> 00:05:36,406 not in a pic, in real life, a solicited non-pic dick 92 00:05:36,406 --> 00:05:38,439 that you picked. 93 00:05:38,439 --> 00:05:39,577 - I'm thinking of giving up on it anyway. 94 00:05:39,577 --> 00:05:40,793 - Dick? 95 00:05:40,793 --> 00:05:42,872 - No, Matt, online dating. 96 00:05:42,872 --> 00:05:44,729 - Oh, yeah, of course. 97 00:05:44,729 --> 00:05:46,503 I got you this. 98 00:05:46,503 --> 00:05:49,109 (paper rustling) 99 00:05:49,109 --> 00:05:51,251 They do an open mic once a week. 100 00:05:51,251 --> 00:05:52,839 You should give it a go. 101 00:05:52,839 --> 00:05:54,697 - Nah. - Why not? 102 00:05:54,697 --> 00:05:56,087 Your songs are really powerful. 103 00:05:56,087 --> 00:05:58,228 - I don't know if I could get up front of all those people. 104 00:05:58,228 --> 00:06:00,277 - Oh, you'd be surprised at how few people actually come 105 00:06:00,277 --> 00:06:03,256 to these things, and, hey, I'm performing tonight 106 00:06:03,256 --> 00:06:05,430 at Club Slam, which is end-of-year poetry event. 107 00:06:05,430 --> 00:06:06,263 You should come. 108 00:06:06,263 --> 00:06:08,815 - [Announcer] And now our headlining act, 109 00:06:08,815 --> 00:06:13,398 whose songs are 100% plant-based and cruelty free, 110 00:06:14,537 --> 00:06:18,375 Immi the-- - So you'll be there, right? 111 00:06:18,375 --> 00:06:20,540 - What? - Tonight. 112 00:06:20,540 --> 00:06:24,734 It's only the biggest slam poetry event of the year. 113 00:06:24,734 --> 00:06:27,651 - Yeah, sure, dick pics, dick pics. 114 00:06:31,233 --> 00:06:35,871 ♪ I don't want your meat on my plate ♪ 115 00:06:35,871 --> 00:06:38,078 ♪ Or in my mouth ♪ 116 00:06:38,078 --> 00:06:41,089 ♪ I just want to meet you ♪ 117 00:06:41,089 --> 00:06:45,377 ♪ At the park or at my house ♪ 118 00:06:45,377 --> 00:06:47,315 ♪ Just because you like Netflix ♪ 119 00:06:47,315 --> 00:06:49,986 ♪ And I like chick flicks ♪ 120 00:06:49,986 --> 00:06:52,113 ♪ Doesn't mean I want your dick pics ♪ 121 00:06:52,113 --> 00:06:55,863 ♪ Online dating really sucks ♪ 122 00:07:00,339 --> 00:07:05,029 I feel like there was somewhere I'm supposed to be. 123 00:07:05,029 --> 00:07:06,467 ♪ Feeling more hopeful ♪ 124 00:07:06,467 --> 00:07:08,003 ♪ I've had a wee sing ♪ 125 00:07:08,003 --> 00:07:09,603 ♪ I won't see their thing ♪ 126 00:07:09,603 --> 00:07:11,525 ♪ When I hear the next ping ♪ 127 00:07:11,525 --> 00:07:16,525 (laptop dinging) (upbeat music) 128 00:07:17,394 --> 00:07:19,311 GreenBean, sounds sexy. 129 00:07:22,162 --> 00:07:23,662 GreenBean is sexy. 130 00:07:27,690 --> 00:07:32,357 ♪ The world turns longer than it should ♪ 131 00:07:35,333 --> 00:07:38,833 - Okay, please welcome to the stage, Matt. 132 00:07:39,782 --> 00:07:42,740 (crowd clapping) 133 00:07:42,740 --> 00:07:44,487 - Hello, everyone. 134 00:07:44,487 --> 00:07:47,404 This poem's called World War II II. 135 00:07:52,823 --> 00:07:56,240 The flame was alive, but only in my mind. 136 00:07:58,345 --> 00:08:01,928 My love for her burned like Dresden in '45. 137 00:08:03,081 --> 00:08:07,817 I launched a pincer movement to encircle her heart, 138 00:08:07,817 --> 00:08:12,817 but my hopes froze like bones on the steps of Stalingrad. 139 00:08:13,205 --> 00:08:16,505 To her, I'm Switzerland, a neutral friend 140 00:08:16,505 --> 00:08:20,857 till the bitter end, except without any money, 141 00:08:20,857 --> 00:08:25,234 and woe is me, I'm not even any good at poetry. 142 00:08:25,234 --> 00:08:30,234 - (clicking) Yeah, at least you got that right. 143 00:08:34,677 --> 00:08:38,288 - Our love rose like Warsaw in '44. 144 00:08:38,288 --> 00:08:42,833 - I think I might rise and leave, because this guy is awful. 145 00:08:42,833 --> 00:08:45,408 - Steady on, this is a safe place, 146 00:08:45,408 --> 00:08:48,510 where we encourage and support our brothers and sisters 147 00:08:48,510 --> 00:08:50,689 of the spoken word. 148 00:08:50,689 --> 00:08:52,913 - Come on, mate, he's terrible. 149 00:08:52,913 --> 00:08:56,433 Does anyone want this man to finish his poem? 150 00:08:56,433 --> 00:08:57,266 A friend? 151 00:08:57,266 --> 00:08:58,487 An acquaintance? 152 00:08:58,487 --> 00:09:01,300 A single person, who's come here to watch him today? 153 00:09:01,300 --> 00:09:02,467 Just one hand. 154 00:09:05,492 --> 00:09:06,742 - Sandwich guy? 155 00:09:10,949 --> 00:09:13,436 Where are you, Immi the Vegan? 156 00:09:13,436 --> 00:09:18,436 (audience clicking) (dramatic music) 157 00:09:36,387 --> 00:09:37,623 - Thanks, Matt. 158 00:09:37,623 --> 00:09:40,727 Now, we do take audience feedback very seriously 159 00:09:40,727 --> 00:09:42,648 here at Club Slamwich, 160 00:09:42,648 --> 00:09:45,981 so hopefully he'll never be coming back. 161 00:09:48,067 --> 00:09:50,650 (solemn music) 162 00:09:57,250 --> 00:10:00,701 ♪ Oh, Lord, I've seen ♪ 163 00:10:00,701 --> 00:10:04,004 ♪ What brings me here ♪ 164 00:10:04,004 --> 00:10:08,421 ♪ It's a mother to all along the way ♪ 165 00:10:10,933 --> 00:10:11,850 - A tavern? 166 00:10:14,193 --> 00:10:16,466 ♪ Will age with me ♪ (car door clicking) ♪ 167 00:10:16,466 --> 00:10:17,299 Thanks. 168 00:10:18,591 --> 00:10:19,474 - Hi. - Hi. 169 00:10:19,474 --> 00:10:21,356 - Hi, you must be Immi. - Yes. 170 00:10:21,356 --> 00:10:23,849 - Nice to meet you. (kissing) 171 00:10:23,849 --> 00:10:25,516 My name's GreenBean. 172 00:10:27,413 --> 00:10:31,391 - Nice to meet you, GreenBean. - It's nice to meet you. 173 00:10:31,391 --> 00:10:32,703 - Is this where you come often? 174 00:10:32,703 --> 00:10:34,547 - Yeah, yeah, yeah, it's great. 175 00:10:34,547 --> 00:10:39,547 ♪ And the boys were waiting, gazing ♪ 176 00:10:39,650 --> 00:10:42,227 ♪ I don't want your sausage ♪ 177 00:10:42,227 --> 00:10:43,711 ♪ It'll cause a blockage ♪ 178 00:10:43,711 --> 00:10:45,841 ♪ Call the toxicologist ♪ 179 00:10:45,841 --> 00:10:48,208 ♪ I just want you to meet with me ♪ 180 00:10:48,208 --> 00:10:50,018 ♪ Not for your meat, you see ♪ 181 00:10:50,018 --> 00:10:52,639 ♪ We'll have a cup of tea ♪ 182 00:10:52,639 --> 00:10:54,332 ♪ Just 'cause I'm free in the PM's ♪ 183 00:10:54,332 --> 00:10:56,383 ♪ And most weekends ♪ 184 00:10:56,383 --> 00:10:58,595 ♪ Doesn't mean you can sign to my DM's ♪ 185 00:10:58,595 --> 00:11:02,345 ♪ Online dating really sucks ♪ 186 00:11:11,378 --> 00:11:13,961 (solemn music) 187 00:11:17,703 --> 00:11:20,370 (phone buzzing) 188 00:11:37,185 --> 00:11:39,714 - Not even any chips. 189 00:11:39,714 --> 00:11:41,892 I thought you said this place had great vegan food. 190 00:11:41,892 --> 00:11:45,483 Oh, yeah, they have heaps of vegetarian options. 191 00:11:45,483 --> 00:11:47,104 - It's not the same. - Isn't it? 192 00:11:47,104 --> 00:11:49,104 - No. - Sorry, excuse me. 193 00:11:50,045 --> 00:11:50,878 Hi. 194 00:11:54,129 --> 00:11:55,737 - Hi, sorry to be a hassle. 195 00:11:55,737 --> 00:11:59,645 Can any of these meals we made vegan? 196 00:11:59,645 --> 00:12:02,478 - I'll go and check with the chef. 197 00:12:04,692 --> 00:12:05,613 (cutlery banging) 198 00:12:05,613 --> 00:12:07,179 - [Chef] Aw, fuck you. 199 00:12:07,179 --> 00:12:08,941 No, fuck you, okay? 200 00:12:08,941 --> 00:12:10,860 Not another fucking vegan. 201 00:12:10,860 --> 00:12:15,392 I have had it with these fucking pie-minded, idealistic, 202 00:12:15,392 --> 00:12:18,989 hipster bullshit people destroying my art. 203 00:12:18,989 --> 00:12:20,906 Absolutely fucking not. 204 00:12:28,429 --> 00:12:29,795 - Not a problem. 205 00:12:29,795 --> 00:12:31,708 We can do that for you. 206 00:12:31,708 --> 00:12:33,598 - I really appreciate it. 207 00:12:33,598 --> 00:12:36,170 - Can I also grab the lamb curry please? 208 00:12:36,170 --> 00:12:37,451 Just hold the vegetables. 209 00:12:37,451 --> 00:12:39,083 - Excellent choice. 210 00:12:39,083 --> 00:12:42,158 The lamb curry's particularly tender this evening. 211 00:12:42,158 --> 00:12:42,991 - Oh. 212 00:12:43,845 --> 00:12:46,622 - I thought you'd at least be vegetarian? 213 00:12:46,622 --> 00:12:47,518 - Sorry? 214 00:12:47,518 --> 00:12:49,755 - Your profile name, GreenBean31? 215 00:12:49,755 --> 00:12:51,002 - Yeah, nah, I just chose that name 216 00:12:51,002 --> 00:12:54,552 'cause I hate vegetables, especially green beans. 217 00:12:54,552 --> 00:12:57,240 - One lamb curry and one special meal. 218 00:12:57,240 --> 00:13:01,734 Don't worry, it'll definitely be gluten-free. 219 00:13:01,734 --> 00:13:02,567 - Vegan? 220 00:13:09,567 --> 00:13:12,317 (relaxing music) 221 00:13:13,257 --> 00:13:14,142 (plate banging) 222 00:13:14,142 --> 00:13:16,725 Of course, a salad. - Thank you. 223 00:13:22,518 --> 00:13:25,268 (dramatic music) 224 00:13:31,664 --> 00:13:34,497 (whimsical music) 225 00:13:40,211 --> 00:13:41,832 Looks healthy. 226 00:13:41,832 --> 00:13:42,665 - [Immi Voiceover] Yeah, it's healthy 227 00:13:42,665 --> 00:13:44,998 'cause it's a fucking salad. 228 00:13:50,125 --> 00:13:52,110 - How would you like your steaks, sir? 229 00:13:52,110 --> 00:13:54,263 Rare, bloody as hell, still moving? 230 00:13:54,263 --> 00:13:55,680 - Ssh. - But, sir, 231 00:13:56,688 --> 00:14:00,840 you ordered the rib eye? - Give me the number 46. 232 00:14:00,840 --> 00:14:04,211 (relaxing music) 233 00:14:04,211 --> 00:14:06,878 (menu rustling) 234 00:14:22,468 --> 00:14:24,371 - Are you sure you don't want some? 235 00:14:24,371 --> 00:14:29,371 I'm pretty sure there's no meat in a sundae. (laughing) 236 00:14:29,794 --> 00:14:34,544 - Number 46, sir, whole fried chicken stuffed with bacon. 237 00:14:36,878 --> 00:14:39,628 (plate smashing) 238 00:14:41,645 --> 00:14:44,145 Sir, you dropped your chicken. 239 00:14:48,045 --> 00:14:51,295 - Hey, is that a Yo Yo Yo Yo Yo poster? 240 00:14:56,998 --> 00:14:58,826 They've got a gig coming up. 241 00:14:58,826 --> 00:15:00,308 - [GreenBean] So you like your Yo Yo Yo Yo? 242 00:15:00,308 --> 00:15:01,459 - I do. - Nice. 243 00:15:01,459 --> 00:15:04,376 - Yeah. - They're good, I like that. 244 00:15:08,004 --> 00:15:08,837 Excuse me. 245 00:15:16,222 --> 00:15:17,692 ♪ Man peeing ♪ 246 00:15:17,692 --> 00:15:20,114 ♪ Men peeing ♪ ♪ It's out of frame ♪ 247 00:15:20,114 --> 00:15:22,355 ♪ But you know what you aren't seeing ♪ 248 00:15:22,355 --> 00:15:24,159 ♪ Man being ♪ 249 00:15:24,159 --> 00:15:27,076 ♪ And having dicks ♪ 250 00:15:30,146 --> 00:15:32,874 - Here on a date? - Yeah, I am. 251 00:15:32,874 --> 00:15:34,261 You? - No, no, 252 00:15:34,261 --> 00:15:37,243 I prefer dining alone, eating whatever I want 253 00:15:37,243 --> 00:15:38,227 whenever I want. 254 00:15:38,227 --> 00:15:40,723 Some people are such fussy eaters. 255 00:15:40,723 --> 00:15:41,556 - It's funny. 256 00:15:41,556 --> 00:15:44,045 My date's actually a vegan. 257 00:15:44,045 --> 00:15:47,703 - They are the worst. - I know, right? 258 00:15:47,703 --> 00:15:49,647 - So many rules. - Yeah, no meats. 259 00:15:49,647 --> 00:15:53,897 - No meat, fish, eggs, dairy, leather, wool, honey. 260 00:15:55,010 --> 00:15:58,236 - Yeah, it's crazy. - I mean, sure, 261 00:15:58,236 --> 00:16:00,571 the environmental evidence alone suggests 262 00:16:00,571 --> 00:16:02,653 we should be significantly reducing, 263 00:16:02,653 --> 00:16:06,028 if not completely cutting out our meat, 264 00:16:06,028 --> 00:16:08,383 but who cares about the environment? 265 00:16:08,383 --> 00:16:10,269 Fuck the planet. - Fuck the planet, yeah. 266 00:16:10,269 --> 00:16:12,331 - Fuck it, and you know what they say? 267 00:16:12,331 --> 00:16:15,748 Once you go vegan, you never go un-vegan. 268 00:16:17,289 --> 00:16:18,872 It's like a tattoo. 269 00:16:19,755 --> 00:16:23,755 I'd run if I was you. - Seriously considering it. 270 00:16:25,993 --> 00:16:28,873 But on the other hand, she's hot, and I have some meat 271 00:16:28,873 --> 00:16:30,815 she might like to eat, yeah. 272 00:16:30,815 --> 00:16:35,101 All right, good chat. (laughing) 273 00:16:35,101 --> 00:16:39,184 - Yes, it did look like quite a substantial meal. 274 00:16:47,184 --> 00:16:50,160 - I had a really good time tonight. 275 00:16:50,160 --> 00:16:51,134 - Thanks. 276 00:16:51,134 --> 00:16:53,884 (relaxing music) 277 00:17:02,941 --> 00:17:04,441 - Shall we? - What? 278 00:17:10,637 --> 00:17:11,637 Meat breath. 279 00:17:26,253 --> 00:17:28,836 (solemn music) 280 00:17:34,624 --> 00:17:37,291 (door knocking) 281 00:17:41,315 --> 00:17:43,683 - Hey, I was just out for a walk 282 00:17:43,683 --> 00:17:45,994 and I saw your light was on. 283 00:17:45,994 --> 00:17:49,363 I thought I'd swing by. - It's midnight, Matt. 284 00:17:49,363 --> 00:17:50,383 - Yeah, can I come in? 285 00:17:50,383 --> 00:17:52,768 'Cause it's quite cold. 286 00:17:52,768 --> 00:17:54,367 - You were right about online dating. 287 00:17:54,367 --> 00:17:56,608 I just had the worst date ever. 288 00:17:56,608 --> 00:17:57,441 - Oh, no. 289 00:17:58,784 --> 00:18:00,798 - I just don't know if I can date-- 290 00:18:00,798 --> 00:18:02,240 - A meat-eater. 291 00:18:02,240 --> 00:18:05,952 - Yeah, plus he couldn't even get my name right. 292 00:18:05,952 --> 00:18:09,472 He called me Immi, and obviously it's... 293 00:18:09,472 --> 00:18:13,359 - [Both] Immi the Vegan, the whole thing. 294 00:18:13,359 --> 00:18:16,526 - Thank you, I'm glad you came around. 295 00:18:23,024 --> 00:18:27,534 - Would've been nice to have seen you at my poetry event. 296 00:18:27,534 --> 00:18:28,867 - You know what? 297 00:18:29,902 --> 00:18:33,264 I should have a vegan potluck to attract vegan men, 298 00:18:33,264 --> 00:18:34,347 a honey trap. 299 00:18:35,615 --> 00:18:36,448 No. 300 00:18:38,078 --> 00:18:39,728 An agave syrup trap. 301 00:18:39,728 --> 00:18:42,645 (depressing music) 302 00:18:46,384 --> 00:18:48,152 ♪ Eating out ♪ 303 00:18:48,152 --> 00:18:49,672 ♪ Eating out ♪ 304 00:18:49,672 --> 00:18:52,727 ♪ Eating out as a vegan ♪ 305 00:18:52,727 --> 00:18:56,058 ♪ Clam chowder, frankfurters, pork, beef bangers ♪ 306 00:18:56,058 --> 00:18:56,891 ♪ No thanks ♪ 307 00:18:56,891 --> 00:18:59,212 ♪ Uh-uh, no thanks ♪ 308 00:18:59,212 --> 00:19:00,748 ♪ But my appetite is big ♪ 309 00:19:00,748 --> 00:19:02,203 ♪ I'll eat all night if I think ♪ 310 00:19:02,203 --> 00:19:07,101 ♪ That it's right ♪ 311 00:19:07,101 --> 00:19:11,156 ♪ Come on, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me ♪ 312 00:19:11,156 --> 00:19:14,982 ♪ Me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me ♪ 313 00:19:14,982 --> 00:19:18,649 ♪ Me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, ♪ 314 00:19:18,649 --> 00:19:21,482 (emotional music) 315 00:19:40,742 --> 00:19:43,283 - Have you ever tried making your own tofu? 316 00:19:43,283 --> 00:19:47,300 - No, I haven't tried making my own tofu. 317 00:19:47,300 --> 00:19:48,930 Vegans. 318 00:19:48,930 --> 00:19:51,057 (door knocking) 319 00:19:51,057 --> 00:19:52,890 - A man. - A vegan man. 320 00:19:57,971 --> 00:19:59,363 - Hi. - This is turning 321 00:19:59,363 --> 00:20:00,788 into a real clam fest. 322 00:20:00,788 --> 00:20:04,291 What's the vegan equivalent of a clam fest? 323 00:20:04,291 --> 00:20:07,380 (plate banging) 324 00:20:07,380 --> 00:20:08,492 Are you sure it's vegan? 325 00:20:08,492 --> 00:20:11,101 It looks a little realistic. 326 00:20:11,101 --> 00:20:12,877 - I brought a list of the ingredients. 327 00:20:12,877 --> 00:20:16,701 - Oh, hang on, I brought my vegan scanner. 328 00:20:16,701 --> 00:20:19,534 (machine beeping) 329 00:20:24,061 --> 00:20:25,478 - [Machine] Safe. 330 00:20:26,655 --> 00:20:29,298 - 'Cause I already had a bite. 331 00:20:29,298 --> 00:20:32,626 - Hey, hey. - Oh my God, it's a vegan man. 332 00:20:32,626 --> 00:20:34,459 - [Machine] He's cool. 333 00:20:35,665 --> 00:20:36,816 - Did you make that? 334 00:20:36,816 --> 00:20:39,041 - Yeah, I've started baking. 335 00:20:39,041 --> 00:20:40,079 It's my first attempt. 336 00:20:40,079 --> 00:20:42,496 Dig in, ladies, don't be shy. 337 00:20:48,089 --> 00:20:50,922 (machine beeping) 338 00:20:58,140 --> 00:21:01,807 - [Machine] Warning, only 99.98% vegan. 339 00:21:03,849 --> 00:21:05,172 - Did that scanner just talk? 340 00:21:05,172 --> 00:21:06,265 - Yes. - You brought something 341 00:21:06,265 --> 00:21:09,509 that's not vegan. - Yes it is, I made it myself. 342 00:21:09,509 --> 00:21:10,662 - What's in it, scanner? 343 00:21:10,662 --> 00:21:11,712 - [Machine] Cochineal. 344 00:21:11,712 --> 00:21:14,379 (woman gasping) 345 00:21:15,810 --> 00:21:16,643 - Cochi-what? 346 00:21:16,643 --> 00:21:19,005 - The red coloring made from beetles. 347 00:21:19,005 --> 00:21:21,566 What vegan doesn't know that? 348 00:21:21,566 --> 00:21:23,047 - Actually, Matt's not vegan. 349 00:21:23,047 --> 00:21:25,728 (woman gasping) 350 00:21:25,728 --> 00:21:27,145 - [Machine] Gasp. 351 00:21:28,591 --> 00:21:30,508 - Well, I'm ve-curious. 352 00:21:33,346 --> 00:21:35,929 It's just beetles. - Oh my God. 353 00:21:37,570 --> 00:21:39,234 - [Machine] You are pure evil. 354 00:21:39,234 --> 00:21:41,996 You have spilled the blood of the innocent beetle. 355 00:21:41,996 --> 00:21:43,079 You must pay. 356 00:21:43,999 --> 00:21:47,263 Vegans and non-vegans cannot co-exist. 357 00:21:47,263 --> 00:21:49,093 The great war is coming. 358 00:21:49,093 --> 00:21:50,607 - That's it. - If you strike me down, 359 00:21:50,607 --> 00:21:54,866 I will become more powerful than you could possibly imagine. 360 00:21:54,866 --> 00:21:58,303 ♪ What did a beetle ever do to you ♪ 361 00:21:58,303 --> 00:22:01,482 ♪ Why do you hate it so much ♪ 362 00:22:01,482 --> 00:22:02,415 - [Vegan Woman] Oh, yeah, 363 00:22:02,415 --> 00:22:03,909 I've washed my hands about 10 times. 364 00:22:03,909 --> 00:22:06,293 - [Vegan Woman] I know, can still smell it, beetles. 365 00:22:06,293 --> 00:22:09,477 - Oh, good God, those poor beetles. 366 00:22:09,477 --> 00:22:10,980 - I know. 367 00:22:10,980 --> 00:22:14,563 - I think this would be a great opportunity 368 00:22:15,672 --> 00:22:17,801 for you to practice singing in front of people. 369 00:22:17,801 --> 00:22:19,776 - I'm not at all prepared. - Yes, you are. 370 00:22:19,776 --> 00:22:21,761 I've heard you sing. 371 00:22:21,761 --> 00:22:23,506 - Nah. - If you can't do this 372 00:22:23,506 --> 00:22:25,316 in front of a few close friends, 373 00:22:25,316 --> 00:22:27,505 how are you ever going to become the self-made singer, 374 00:22:27,505 --> 00:22:29,064 songwriter, social media superstar 375 00:22:29,064 --> 00:22:32,661 that we both know you're destined to be. 376 00:22:32,661 --> 00:22:36,898 - Okay, I'll play a couple of songs in the background 377 00:22:36,898 --> 00:22:38,049 but don't make a big deal out of this. 378 00:22:38,049 --> 00:22:39,699 - Quiet, everyone. - Matt. 379 00:22:39,699 --> 00:22:40,942 - It's okay, it's okay. 380 00:22:40,942 --> 00:22:43,221 Will you shut the fuck up please? 381 00:22:43,221 --> 00:22:47,304 Immi the Vegan's about to play some of her songs. 382 00:22:54,452 --> 00:22:55,285 - Ah. 383 00:22:57,603 --> 00:23:00,353 (relaxing music) 384 00:23:22,631 --> 00:23:24,740 - Oh, hey, everyone, is this the vegan potluck? 385 00:23:24,740 --> 00:23:26,386 - Hi, yes it is. 386 00:23:26,386 --> 00:23:27,969 I'm Immi the Vegan. 387 00:23:27,969 --> 00:23:30,636 - Hi, Sean, Sean the Also Vegan. 388 00:23:31,553 --> 00:23:33,742 - You are? - You are? 389 00:23:33,742 --> 00:23:35,214 - Yeah, I am. 390 00:23:35,214 --> 00:23:36,354 - Well, that's great, 391 00:23:36,354 --> 00:23:39,009 but Immi the Vegan was just about to play a song actually, 392 00:23:39,009 --> 00:23:42,401 so maybe you could take a seat. 393 00:23:42,401 --> 00:23:43,982 - I am so, so sorry. 394 00:23:43,982 --> 00:23:45,489 I didn't mean to interrupt anything. 395 00:23:45,489 --> 00:23:46,580 - No, it's fine. 396 00:23:46,580 --> 00:23:48,018 I was feeling nervous anyway. 397 00:23:48,018 --> 00:23:49,455 - Maybe I could play with ya? 398 00:23:49,455 --> 00:23:52,351 - I don't think that's a great idea. 399 00:23:52,351 --> 00:23:54,098 - I don't know many songs. 400 00:23:54,098 --> 00:23:55,251 - Just play one of your own. 401 00:23:55,251 --> 00:23:57,084 I'll follow your lead. 402 00:23:58,293 --> 00:23:59,126 - Okay. 403 00:24:01,285 --> 00:24:04,118 (energetic music) 404 00:24:09,071 --> 00:24:13,062 ♪ A vegan man, a vegan man ♪ 405 00:24:13,062 --> 00:24:16,885 ♪ All I want is a vegan man ♪ 406 00:24:16,885 --> 00:24:21,109 ♪ A vegan man, a vegan man ♪ 407 00:24:21,109 --> 00:24:25,426 ♪ All I want is a vegan man ♪ 408 00:24:25,426 --> 00:24:27,462 ♪ He knows I'm not that into meat ♪ 409 00:24:27,462 --> 00:24:29,379 ♪ His cucumber looks just as sweet ♪ 410 00:24:29,379 --> 00:24:33,157 ♪ A vegan man, a vegan man ♪ 411 00:24:33,157 --> 00:24:35,493 ♪ When he's cooking, he turns up the heat ♪ 412 00:24:35,493 --> 00:24:37,319 ♪ He knows the ingredients that I can eat ♪ 413 00:24:37,319 --> 00:24:41,545 ♪ A vegan man, a vegan man ♪ 414 00:24:41,545 --> 00:24:46,545 ♪ Maybe I'll meet him at the falafel shop ♪ 415 00:24:47,116 --> 00:24:49,264 ♪ No kebabs ♪ 416 00:24:49,264 --> 00:24:52,866 ♪ Maybe I'll meet him buying tofu ♪ 417 00:24:52,866 --> 00:24:53,699 - That clicking. 418 00:24:53,699 --> 00:24:55,151 ♪ A stranger to me ♪ 419 00:24:55,151 --> 00:25:00,126 ♪ Not a friend I'd usually go to ♪ 420 00:25:00,126 --> 00:25:01,807 ♪ Only a man who's anti-meat ♪ 421 00:25:01,807 --> 00:25:04,281 ♪ Will sample these delicious treats ♪ 422 00:25:04,281 --> 00:25:05,549 - No exceptions. 423 00:25:05,549 --> 00:25:10,549 ♪ A vegan man, a vegan man ♪ 424 00:25:10,673 --> 00:25:13,115 ♪ (indistinct) ♪ 425 00:25:13,115 --> 00:25:18,115 ♪ Different to the one mentioned in that song ♪ 426 00:25:18,326 --> 00:25:20,027 - Sorry, I thought we were doing a... 427 00:25:20,027 --> 00:25:21,110 Never mind. 428 00:25:21,110 --> 00:25:23,046 - You're amazing. - You are. 429 00:25:23,046 --> 00:25:24,440 - No, you are. 430 00:25:24,440 --> 00:25:26,167 - Well, I've always said that you were. 431 00:25:26,167 --> 00:25:28,291 - You might've heard of my band actually. 432 00:25:28,291 --> 00:25:31,791 I'm the lead guitarist for Yo Yo Yo Yo Yo. 433 00:25:33,768 --> 00:25:35,268 - That is so cool. 434 00:25:37,741 --> 00:25:39,239 - All right, listen up, everybody. 435 00:25:39,239 --> 00:25:41,428 I've got an announcement to make. 436 00:25:41,428 --> 00:25:46,407 I've thought long and hard and I've come to a decision. 437 00:25:46,407 --> 00:25:48,084 I'm going full vegan. 438 00:25:48,084 --> 00:25:50,834 (women cheering) 439 00:25:52,152 --> 00:25:53,069 - Oh, Matt. 440 00:25:54,381 --> 00:25:56,964 (upbeat music) 441 00:26:01,132 --> 00:26:03,965 (energetic music) 442 00:26:06,215 --> 00:26:08,649 ♪ Old McDonald had a farm ♪ 443 00:26:08,649 --> 00:26:10,731 ♪ Ee i ee i o ♪ 444 00:26:10,731 --> 00:26:15,731 ♪ And on that farm, he had a cabbage ♪ 445 00:26:17,256 --> 00:26:19,399 ♪ Ee i ee i o ♪ 446 00:26:19,399 --> 00:26:20,715 ♪ With a munch, munch here ♪ 447 00:26:20,715 --> 00:26:22,025 ♪ And a crunch, crunch there ♪ 448 00:26:22,025 --> 00:26:24,640 ♪ Coleslaw, sauerkraut, chop suey, (indistinct) ♪ 449 00:26:24,640 --> 00:26:26,956 ♪ Old McDonald had a farm ♪ 450 00:26:26,956 --> 00:26:29,456 ♪ Ee i ee i o ♪ 451 00:26:31,220 --> 00:26:33,163 What, it's a song. 452 00:26:33,163 --> 00:26:36,124 (relaxing music) 453 00:26:36,124 --> 00:26:41,124 ♪ What is sadness, boy ♪ 454 00:26:45,220 --> 00:26:50,220 ♪ But this broken wretch ♪ 455 00:26:53,573 --> 00:26:58,573 ♪ I'm suspended high above ♪ 456 00:27:02,324 --> 00:27:05,907 ♪ Don't look down, my love ♪ 457 00:27:16,607 --> 00:27:17,984 ♪ We've gone back in time ♪ 458 00:27:17,984 --> 00:27:19,359 ♪ Don't be confused ♪ 459 00:27:19,359 --> 00:27:20,612 ♪ We did it on purpose ♪ 460 00:27:20,612 --> 00:27:22,564 ♪ We can choose what we show you ♪ 461 00:27:22,564 --> 00:27:25,509 ♪ In episode one, we showed where Matt works ♪ 462 00:27:25,509 --> 00:27:28,266 ♪ This is the day after that ♪ 463 00:27:28,266 --> 00:27:30,099 - Matt. - Hi, Prudence. 464 00:27:32,106 --> 00:27:33,268 Here's my CV. 465 00:27:33,268 --> 00:27:37,058 You can call my referee if you'd like but it'll just be you. 466 00:27:37,058 --> 00:27:38,916 - Thank you, Matt. 467 00:27:38,916 --> 00:27:41,460 The CV was merely a formality but we're all looking forward 468 00:27:41,460 --> 00:27:42,886 to having you move upstairs. 469 00:27:42,886 --> 00:27:45,113 - Can I practice now? - Absolutely not. 470 00:27:45,113 --> 00:27:46,280 - Okay. - Sean. 471 00:27:47,792 --> 00:27:49,371 Matt, this is Sean. 472 00:27:49,371 --> 00:27:51,996 He is going to be replacing you in the basement. 473 00:27:51,996 --> 00:27:53,393 - Lovely to meet you, Matthew. 474 00:27:53,393 --> 00:27:55,054 - Don't I know you from somewhere? 475 00:27:55,054 --> 00:27:56,861 - No, I don't think so. 476 00:27:56,861 --> 00:27:58,155 - Matt will show you what to do. 477 00:27:58,155 --> 00:28:00,905 He is a very experienced shelver. 478 00:28:05,950 --> 00:28:06,783 Matt? 479 00:28:07,902 --> 00:28:10,594 Don't you have some work to be getting on with? 480 00:28:10,594 --> 00:28:14,427 - Oh, yes, sorry, Prudence, yes, sorry, sorry. 481 00:28:17,121 --> 00:28:21,905 - (laughing) Look, I know the front desk position's 482 00:28:21,905 --> 00:28:24,460 been filled already, but just in case, 483 00:28:24,460 --> 00:28:25,723 here's a copy of my CV 484 00:28:25,723 --> 00:28:30,390 and I've left a little something on top for you as well. 485 00:28:31,392 --> 00:28:32,225 - Thank you. 486 00:28:32,225 --> 00:28:34,975 (dramatic music) 487 00:28:58,682 --> 00:29:01,682 (creature clicking) 488 00:29:05,189 --> 00:29:08,389 (door creaking) 489 00:29:08,389 --> 00:29:09,622 - Hey. 490 00:29:09,622 --> 00:29:12,018 ♪ Speedy, speedy, speedy, speedy, speedy, speedy, speedy ♪ 491 00:29:12,018 --> 00:29:13,755 ♪ Speedy, speedy, speedy, speedy, speedy, speedy, speedy ♪ 492 00:29:13,755 --> 00:29:14,588 ♪ Speedy ♪ 493 00:29:14,588 --> 00:29:16,597 - I should have a vegan potluck to attract vegan men. 494 00:29:16,597 --> 00:29:19,180 (upbeat music) 495 00:29:39,812 --> 00:29:42,295 - Excellent choice, sir, 496 00:29:42,295 --> 00:29:45,699 but have you considered "Blood Red Snow"? 497 00:29:45,699 --> 00:29:48,250 A harrowing firsthand account of a sniper 498 00:29:48,250 --> 00:29:50,084 on the Eastern Front of World War II. 499 00:29:50,084 --> 00:29:50,917 - Matt. 500 00:29:54,726 --> 00:29:56,684 - Sorry, Prudence. 501 00:29:56,684 --> 00:29:59,351 I came up here to give you this. 502 00:30:02,782 --> 00:30:05,598 - That was very unnecessary, Matt. 503 00:30:05,598 --> 00:30:09,024 - Well, I just know how much you love muffins. 504 00:30:09,024 --> 00:30:10,846 - Cupcakes, Matt. 505 00:30:10,846 --> 00:30:12,179 I like cupcakes. 506 00:30:13,614 --> 00:30:15,596 - I thought it was the same. 507 00:30:15,596 --> 00:30:20,142 - Sean, how is everything going in the basement? 508 00:30:20,142 --> 00:30:21,645 - Great, thank you, 509 00:30:21,645 --> 00:30:25,456 but can you believe that Matt here accidentally ordered 510 00:30:25,456 --> 00:30:27,743 an entire shelf from ascending to descending, 511 00:30:27,743 --> 00:30:29,343 instead of descending to ascending? 512 00:30:29,343 --> 00:30:32,211 it's made a mockery of the entire Dewey Decimal System. 513 00:30:32,211 --> 00:30:35,211 (both men laughing) 514 00:30:38,556 --> 00:30:41,546 - That was a test for the training. 515 00:30:41,546 --> 00:30:43,071 Well done, Sean. 516 00:30:43,071 --> 00:30:44,977 - Well, anyway, I'd better get back to it. 517 00:30:44,977 --> 00:30:48,694 Lots of things to fix down there, and I almost forgot, 518 00:30:48,694 --> 00:30:50,527 but these are for you. 519 00:30:54,134 --> 00:30:55,051 - Cupcakes. 520 00:30:56,566 --> 00:30:58,626 They're my favorite. 521 00:30:58,626 --> 00:31:01,709 - Fantastic, anyway, I've gotta dash. 522 00:31:04,515 --> 00:31:07,765 - I really thought this would come off. 523 00:31:10,066 --> 00:31:12,242 Hey, hey. - It's a vegan man. 524 00:31:12,242 --> 00:31:13,731 - Actually, Matt's not vegan. 525 00:31:13,731 --> 00:31:14,735 (woman gasping) 526 00:31:14,735 --> 00:31:15,568 - [Machine] Gasp. 527 00:31:15,568 --> 00:31:17,493 ♪ Speedy, speedy, speedy, speedy, speedy, speedy, speedy ♪ 528 00:31:17,493 --> 00:31:18,690 ♪ Speedy, speedy ♪ 529 00:31:18,690 --> 00:31:21,124 - All right, listen up, everybody. 530 00:31:21,124 --> 00:31:22,818 I'm going full vegan. 531 00:31:22,818 --> 00:31:27,592 (woman cheering) ♪ It's a good day to get out of bed ♪ 532 00:31:27,592 --> 00:31:29,440 ♪ It's a good day to put on your socks ♪ 533 00:31:29,440 --> 00:31:33,262 ♪ And get on your shoes ♪ 534 00:31:33,262 --> 00:31:35,809 ♪ It's a good time to be alive ♪ ♪ The sun is shining ♪ 535 00:31:35,809 --> 00:31:40,043 ♪ It's heating up the world and it's warming up you too ♪ 536 00:31:40,043 --> 00:31:42,775 ♪ You have everything you need right here ♪ 537 00:31:42,775 --> 00:31:43,628 ♪ Right now ♪ 538 00:31:43,628 --> 00:31:47,257 ♪ You have everything you need right there in your fridge ♪ 539 00:31:47,257 --> 00:31:51,067 ♪ You have apples and carrots, capsicum and coconuts ♪ 540 00:31:51,067 --> 00:31:54,464 ♪ You have blueberries and broad beans, tofu and broccoli ♪ 541 00:31:54,464 --> 00:31:55,827 Are you veganing at me? 542 00:31:55,827 --> 00:31:58,294 Are you veganing at me? 543 00:31:58,294 --> 00:31:59,592 ♪ You have those packets of rice ♪ 544 00:31:59,592 --> 00:32:01,419 ♪ You just heat up in the microwave ♪ 545 00:32:01,419 --> 00:32:05,140 Well, who the hell else are you veganing at? 546 00:32:05,140 --> 00:32:08,807 (Matt imitates gun banging) 547 00:32:10,405 --> 00:32:12,822 - Hot dogs, get your hot dog. 548 00:32:14,727 --> 00:32:16,583 Hot dogs here. 549 00:32:16,583 --> 00:32:18,439 What about you, sir? 550 00:32:18,439 --> 00:32:22,468 You look like you could do with a nice, tasty, 551 00:32:22,468 --> 00:32:24,468 meaty hot dog? 552 00:32:24,468 --> 00:32:26,823 We've got all kinds of hot dogs. 553 00:32:26,823 --> 00:32:28,359 We've got chicken hot dogs. 554 00:32:28,359 --> 00:32:29,235 We've got pork hot dogs. 555 00:32:29,235 --> 00:32:31,485 We've got venison hot dogs. 556 00:32:33,184 --> 00:32:35,824 First one's on the house. 557 00:32:35,824 --> 00:32:38,982 Fundraising to save the animals. 558 00:32:38,982 --> 00:32:41,732 (dramatic music) 559 00:33:16,856 --> 00:33:17,689 - Matt? 560 00:33:24,614 --> 00:33:25,652 You know what today is right? 561 00:33:25,652 --> 00:33:26,688 - Eggs. 562 00:33:26,688 --> 00:33:27,521 What? 563 00:33:27,521 --> 00:33:29,049 - It's your one month vegan anniversary. 564 00:33:29,049 --> 00:33:29,882 It's amazing. 565 00:33:29,882 --> 00:33:31,112 I'll throw you a party. 566 00:33:31,112 --> 00:33:34,415 - Oh, you don't need to do that. How about just dinner? 567 00:33:34,415 --> 00:33:36,125 Just you and me, like a date? 568 00:33:36,125 --> 00:33:38,239 - Have it at my house, it'll be great. 569 00:33:38,239 --> 00:33:41,520 We'll have vegan chicken nuggets, vegan fish fingers, 570 00:33:41,520 --> 00:33:43,708 burgers with vegan beef patties. 571 00:33:43,708 --> 00:33:45,791 - Sounds good, excuse me. 572 00:33:48,853 --> 00:33:51,436 (Matt panting) 573 00:33:53,771 --> 00:33:56,044 "When the temptation is strong, 574 00:33:56,044 --> 00:33:58,410 "focus on the thought of tofu." 575 00:33:58,410 --> 00:34:01,993 Tofu, boiled tofu, mashed tofu, fried tofu. 576 00:34:03,628 --> 00:34:04,858 Why isn't this working? 577 00:34:04,858 --> 00:34:06,775 Why isn't this working? 578 00:34:08,715 --> 00:34:10,585 It's not what it looks like. 579 00:34:10,585 --> 00:34:11,585 I'm a vegan. 580 00:34:13,579 --> 00:34:17,246 Hello, my name's Matt, and I'm a meat-eater. 581 00:34:18,183 --> 00:34:20,016 - [Group] Hello, Matt. 582 00:34:21,243 --> 00:34:25,884 - I've been off the animal products for 30 days now, 583 00:34:25,884 --> 00:34:29,256 but to be honest, it's not going that well. 584 00:34:29,256 --> 00:34:31,964 Every day is a struggle. 585 00:34:31,964 --> 00:34:34,797 I find my mind drifting back to... 586 00:34:35,943 --> 00:34:38,276 - It's okay, Matt, carry on. 587 00:34:41,496 --> 00:34:45,224 - I do everything it says in "Managing Your Meat." 588 00:34:45,224 --> 00:34:46,641 I visualize tofu. 589 00:34:47,821 --> 00:34:52,648 I think of the harm that I've caused all the cows and sheep. 590 00:34:52,648 --> 00:34:57,231 When I feel like KFC, I call my sponsor, but it's hard. 591 00:34:58,089 --> 00:34:59,590 (emotional music) 592 00:34:59,590 --> 00:35:01,632 It's really hard. 593 00:35:01,632 --> 00:35:04,817 - Thanks for sharing, take a seat. 594 00:35:04,817 --> 00:35:05,758 - I'm sorry, Matt, 595 00:35:05,758 --> 00:35:09,823 but we have given the job to somebody else. 596 00:35:09,823 --> 00:35:11,265 - What? 597 00:35:11,265 --> 00:35:15,199 - There was just somebody better suited for the position, 598 00:35:15,199 --> 00:35:18,616 someone with customer service experience. 599 00:35:20,044 --> 00:35:22,794 (dramatic music) 600 00:35:24,942 --> 00:35:26,494 - And I know it's against the rules 601 00:35:26,494 --> 00:35:29,726 but I have a really great World War II book to recommend, 602 00:35:29,726 --> 00:35:32,859 really dives into the nitty gritty of the Eastern Front, 603 00:35:32,859 --> 00:35:33,692 but don't tell anyone. 604 00:35:33,692 --> 00:35:35,442 It can be our secret. 605 00:35:41,561 --> 00:35:44,144 (solemn music) 606 00:36:01,773 --> 00:36:04,273 (Matt crying) 607 00:36:14,218 --> 00:36:18,005 (creature clicking) 608 00:36:18,005 --> 00:36:20,922 (mysterious music) 609 00:36:22,037 --> 00:36:24,278 - You're not real. 610 00:36:24,278 --> 00:36:26,424 You're just a manifestation of my insecurities 611 00:36:26,424 --> 00:36:28,003 about vegan expectation 612 00:36:28,003 --> 00:36:29,769 and the crippling anxiety brought about 613 00:36:29,769 --> 00:36:34,436 by being clicked off stage during my poetry performance. 614 00:36:40,816 --> 00:36:43,483 No. (screaming) 615 00:37:10,033 --> 00:37:14,870 ♪ Matt, Matty Matt, Matt, Matt, Matt ♪ 616 00:37:14,870 --> 00:37:16,965 ♪ I worked in the library ♪ 617 00:37:16,965 --> 00:37:18,885 ♪ It seemed weirdly unrelated ♪ 618 00:37:18,885 --> 00:37:20,868 ♪ Then I fought the monster ♪ 619 00:37:20,868 --> 00:37:23,503 ♪ It was living in the basement ♪ 620 00:37:23,503 --> 00:37:25,330 ♪ Muffins and cupcakes ♪ 621 00:37:25,330 --> 00:37:27,428 ♪ You can see my frustration ♪ 622 00:37:27,428 --> 00:37:29,139 ♪ I lost my dream job ♪ 623 00:37:29,139 --> 00:37:32,056 ♪ I spent the day ♪ 624 00:37:33,263 --> 00:37:35,680 I just realized I can't sing. 625 00:37:43,860 --> 00:37:46,360 (eerie music) 626 00:38:02,508 --> 00:38:04,194 (door creaking) 627 00:38:04,194 --> 00:38:06,777 (upbeat music) 628 00:38:13,010 --> 00:38:13,843 - Matt. 629 00:38:15,192 --> 00:38:18,123 - [Group] Happy veganniversary. 630 00:38:18,123 --> 00:38:20,539 (group cheering) 631 00:38:20,539 --> 00:38:22,956 - Okay, all right, yay, okay. 632 00:38:24,490 --> 00:38:29,082 - I thought you weren't going to make it to your own party. 633 00:38:29,082 --> 00:38:33,249 - Here I am, wouldn't miss it for the world, okay. 634 00:38:34,168 --> 00:38:35,918 - Okay, go celebrate. 635 00:38:37,400 --> 00:38:40,233 (emotional music) 636 00:38:58,918 --> 00:39:01,835 (group chattering) 637 00:39:06,423 --> 00:39:09,256 (fruit crunching) 638 00:39:13,779 --> 00:39:16,196 - Sean? - Matthew, guess what? 639 00:39:17,235 --> 00:39:19,202 - What? - Immi the Vegan 640 00:39:19,202 --> 00:39:22,262 is going to be opening for the next Yo Yo Yo Yo Yo gig. 641 00:39:22,262 --> 00:39:24,246 - What? - She's opening for us 642 00:39:24,246 --> 00:39:26,021 and I'm going to help her rehearse. 643 00:39:26,021 --> 00:39:31,021 I've got some great exercises to help warm up her throat. 644 00:39:31,023 --> 00:39:33,690 (Matt laughing) 645 00:39:37,162 --> 00:39:39,912 (group laughing) 646 00:39:53,507 --> 00:39:56,036 ♪ It's such a sad meal ♪ 647 00:39:56,036 --> 00:39:57,252 ♪ Deep in your bowl ♪ 648 00:39:57,252 --> 00:39:59,620 ♪ A kind of pale grew ♪ 649 00:39:59,620 --> 00:40:00,973 ♪ Barely nothing at all ♪ 650 00:40:00,973 --> 00:40:03,143 ♪ Within your bowl ♪ 651 00:40:03,143 --> 00:40:07,817 ♪ I'll place lentils within your bowl ♪ 652 00:40:07,817 --> 00:40:08,953 (group laughing) 653 00:40:08,953 --> 00:40:11,771 ♪ It's such a bad taste ♪ 654 00:40:11,771 --> 00:40:13,720 ♪ Caught in your teeth ♪ 655 00:40:13,720 --> 00:40:15,469 ♪ Swallow it down ♪ 656 00:40:15,469 --> 00:40:16,880 ♪ Pretending it's beef ♪ 657 00:40:16,880 --> 00:40:18,765 ♪ Within your mouth ♪ 658 00:40:18,765 --> 00:40:23,765 ♪ I'll place lentils within your mouth ♪ 659 00:40:24,671 --> 00:40:26,736 ♪ And as the taste improves ♪ 660 00:40:26,736 --> 00:40:29,008 ♪ It tastes less like goo ♪ 661 00:40:29,008 --> 00:40:30,666 ♪ Every thought is gone ♪ 662 00:40:30,666 --> 00:40:35,273 ♪ Of the meals you like to eat ♪ 663 00:40:35,273 --> 00:40:39,058 ♪ And I'll be there for you ♪ 664 00:40:39,058 --> 00:40:44,058 ♪ There's no more meat around ♪ 665 00:40:46,671 --> 00:40:51,671 ♪ There's no more meat around ♪ 666 00:40:54,752 --> 00:40:58,585 ♪ There's no more meat around ♪ 667 00:41:04,110 --> 00:41:06,693 (Matt panting) 668 00:41:10,659 --> 00:41:13,909 - [Sean] (indistinct). 669 00:41:15,462 --> 00:41:17,545 Sean, what are you doing? 670 00:41:19,765 --> 00:41:23,598 You're sharing your celery with another woman. 671 00:41:25,205 --> 00:41:27,872 (Sean clicking) 672 00:41:30,662 --> 00:41:32,412 - You're the clicker. 673 00:41:33,842 --> 00:41:35,384 You're the clicker? 674 00:41:35,384 --> 00:41:36,564 - That's right, Matthew. 675 00:41:36,564 --> 00:41:40,465 I am, and if you tell Inni the Vegan about any of this, 676 00:41:40,465 --> 00:41:42,897 I'll make sure you lose your precious shelving job. 677 00:41:42,897 --> 00:41:46,703 - (gasping) You're a bad vegan. 678 00:41:46,703 --> 00:41:51,703 - Well, at least I'm a real vegan, Matthew. (clicking) 679 00:41:57,310 --> 00:41:59,893 (door banging) 680 00:42:17,387 --> 00:42:18,220 (door knocking) 681 00:42:18,220 --> 00:42:20,303 - Matt, are you in there? 682 00:42:25,117 --> 00:42:29,058 What's that smell? - Nothing, just shitting. 683 00:42:29,058 --> 00:42:31,191 (energetic music) 684 00:42:31,191 --> 00:42:34,314 (air freshener spraying) 685 00:42:34,314 --> 00:42:36,252 - Are you okay? 686 00:42:36,252 --> 00:42:39,085 (toilet flushing) 687 00:42:47,217 --> 00:42:49,384 Matt, where are you going? 688 00:42:51,009 --> 00:42:53,842 (emotional music) 689 00:42:59,551 --> 00:43:01,551 Hey, why'd you run away? 690 00:43:03,583 --> 00:43:06,980 Wow, you chose a really cinematic spot. 691 00:43:06,980 --> 00:43:09,830 - I just come here when I'm sad, Immi the Vegan. 692 00:43:09,830 --> 00:43:12,372 I don't think in terms of production value. 693 00:43:12,372 --> 00:43:14,127 - Why are you sad? 694 00:43:14,127 --> 00:43:17,651 - Because you chose Sean over me, that arrogant, slimy fuck. 695 00:43:17,651 --> 00:43:20,068 - Over you, what do you mean? 696 00:43:21,729 --> 00:43:24,673 - I just saw him sharing celery with another woman. 697 00:43:24,673 --> 00:43:26,068 - Sean would never share celery. 698 00:43:26,068 --> 00:43:27,136 That's an awful thing to say. 699 00:43:27,136 --> 00:43:28,945 - He's also the one who's been ironically clicking me 700 00:43:28,945 --> 00:43:31,028 off stage at slam poetry. 701 00:43:32,128 --> 00:43:34,705 - Are you angry because he got the promotion over you? 702 00:43:34,705 --> 00:43:37,200 - Muffins and cupcakes are basically the same thing. 703 00:43:37,200 --> 00:43:38,784 There's pretty much no difference. 704 00:43:38,784 --> 00:43:42,618 - Actually, there is quite a big difference. 705 00:43:42,618 --> 00:43:44,704 Is that a meat kebab? 706 00:43:44,704 --> 00:43:46,650 - Yes, it's a meat kebab. 707 00:43:46,650 --> 00:43:47,855 I've been eating meat. 708 00:43:47,855 --> 00:43:50,258 Meat is yum, yum, yum, yum, yum, yum, yum, yum. 709 00:43:50,258 --> 00:43:51,520 it's not a crime. 710 00:43:51,520 --> 00:43:53,020 Ah, what the fuck? 711 00:43:53,886 --> 00:43:55,996 - I just threw this huge party for you. 712 00:43:55,996 --> 00:43:57,452 Now you've ruined everything. 713 00:43:57,452 --> 00:43:59,991 - Yeah, that kebab cost seven bucks. 714 00:43:59,991 --> 00:44:03,324 - I'll pay you back when I'm less angry. 715 00:44:06,348 --> 00:44:09,795 ♪ Matt, you ate a meat kebab ♪ 716 00:44:09,795 --> 00:44:13,131 ♪ Ruining the best friendship I've ever had ♪ 717 00:44:13,131 --> 00:44:15,638 ♪ I thought we were in this together ♪ 718 00:44:15,638 --> 00:44:19,222 ♪ Throwing up the vegan sign forever ♪ 719 00:44:19,222 --> 00:44:20,839 Maybe we could've had... 720 00:44:20,839 --> 00:44:23,306 ♪ Something more ♪ 721 00:44:23,306 --> 00:44:26,382 ♪ Something, something more ♪ 722 00:44:26,382 --> 00:44:29,664 ♪ I've been such a stupid fool ♪ 723 00:44:29,664 --> 00:44:32,879 ♪ She's just not that into me ♪ 724 00:44:32,879 --> 00:44:37,879 ♪ She didn't even notice my severe head injury ♪ 725 00:44:38,420 --> 00:44:40,707 - Ouch, and I just wanted... 726 00:44:40,707 --> 00:44:43,041 ♪ Something more ♪ 727 00:44:43,041 --> 00:44:45,043 ♪ Something, something more ♪ 728 00:44:45,043 --> 00:44:46,929 ♪ So what, I'm not vegan ♪ 729 00:44:46,929 --> 00:44:48,528 ♪ You're not vegan ♪ 730 00:44:48,528 --> 00:44:50,225 ♪ So we see things differently ♪ 731 00:44:50,225 --> 00:44:51,767 ♪ But we are what we eat ♪ 732 00:44:51,767 --> 00:44:53,069 ♪ Does this mean it's not meant to be ♪ 733 00:44:53,069 --> 00:44:54,867 ♪ I don't know what I'm feeling ♪ 734 00:44:54,867 --> 00:44:56,957 ♪ Can't you just accept me for me ♪ 735 00:44:56,957 --> 00:44:59,516 ♪ Did you lie about the celery ♪ 736 00:44:59,516 --> 00:45:01,811 - Maybe we could have had... 737 00:45:01,811 --> 00:45:04,243 ♪ Something more ♪ 738 00:45:04,243 --> 00:45:07,910 ♪ Something, something more ♪ 739 00:45:14,591 --> 00:45:17,235 ♪ When you throw your friends a party ♪ 740 00:45:17,235 --> 00:45:19,795 ♪ And they show up really late ♪ 741 00:45:19,795 --> 00:45:22,287 ♪ And they see the food you made them ♪ 742 00:45:22,287 --> 00:45:24,861 ♪ And they chuck up on their plate ♪ 743 00:45:24,861 --> 00:45:29,658 ♪ 'Cause they don't like your vegan food ♪ 744 00:45:29,658 --> 00:45:34,511 ♪ No, they don't like your vegan food ♪ 745 00:45:34,511 --> 00:45:38,850 ♪ They don't know that they're being rude ♪ 746 00:45:38,850 --> 00:45:40,405 ♪ When they tell you they personally can't stand ♪ 747 00:45:40,405 --> 00:45:41,631 ♪ What's (indistinct) ♪ 748 00:45:41,631 --> 00:45:43,090 ♪ But settle for hiding in your cat's litter box ♪ 749 00:45:43,090 --> 00:45:45,923 ♪ Your vegan food ♪ 750 00:45:55,379 --> 00:45:56,962 Hey, Sean, it's me. 751 00:45:58,495 --> 00:45:59,328 Hey, where are you? 752 00:45:59,328 --> 00:46:01,340 I thought that we were going to be rehearsing today. 753 00:46:01,340 --> 00:46:03,087 I'm kind of nervous. 754 00:46:03,087 --> 00:46:05,203 Anyway, please call me. 755 00:46:05,203 --> 00:46:07,924 (upbeat music) 756 00:46:07,924 --> 00:46:09,591 It's Immi the Vegan. 757 00:46:13,929 --> 00:46:16,363 Scanner, should I be worried? 758 00:46:16,363 --> 00:46:19,987 - [Machine] He's vegan, therefore entirely trustworthy. 759 00:46:19,987 --> 00:46:21,987 - That's what I thought. 760 00:46:23,360 --> 00:46:24,943 - [Machine] Danger. 761 00:46:26,608 --> 00:46:27,441 - Oh, no. 762 00:46:29,468 --> 00:46:32,217 ♪ Facing your monster ♪ 763 00:46:32,217 --> 00:46:35,920 ♪ Or your MEA sponsor ♪ 764 00:46:35,920 --> 00:46:38,749 ♪ It's only hallucination ♪ 765 00:46:38,749 --> 00:46:41,885 ♪ Unless you give into temptation ♪ 766 00:46:41,885 --> 00:46:44,607 ♪ Unless you give into temptation ♪ 767 00:46:44,607 --> 00:46:48,774 ♪ Unless you give into temptation ♪ 768 00:46:52,061 --> 00:46:55,144 - Okay, Matt, pull yourself together. 769 00:46:56,272 --> 00:47:00,591 Only eight hours in this dimly lit, poorly ventilated room 770 00:47:00,591 --> 00:47:03,178 with a vicious monster. 771 00:47:03,178 --> 00:47:04,605 Nobody likes their job. 772 00:47:04,605 --> 00:47:07,232 (creature clicking) 773 00:47:07,232 --> 00:47:10,065 Sean, what are you doing down here 774 00:47:11,023 --> 00:47:12,864 and who's on the front desk? 775 00:47:12,864 --> 00:47:15,614 (dramatic music) 776 00:47:16,893 --> 00:47:18,030 It's the monster. 777 00:47:18,030 --> 00:47:19,280 Sean, look out. 778 00:47:31,284 --> 00:47:33,951 (books banging) 779 00:47:42,744 --> 00:47:44,324 There's a monster in the basement 780 00:47:44,324 --> 00:47:45,866 and Sean's been feeding it. 781 00:47:45,866 --> 00:47:46,699 - Yes? 782 00:47:48,962 --> 00:47:51,795 - You knew about this? - Of course. 783 00:47:56,629 --> 00:47:58,242 - I quit. 784 00:47:58,242 --> 00:48:01,557 ♪ I still love you ♪ 785 00:48:01,557 --> 00:48:06,094 ♪ Always love you ♪ 786 00:48:06,094 --> 00:48:10,344 ♪ Though you don't know how I feel ♪ 787 00:48:12,059 --> 00:48:14,059 - Matt. - Immi the Vegan. 788 00:48:15,583 --> 00:48:18,378 - How are you? - I just quit my job. 789 00:48:18,378 --> 00:48:19,211 - How come? 790 00:48:19,211 --> 00:48:22,074 - There was a monster living in the basement. 791 00:48:22,074 --> 00:48:24,698 How's the music going? - I've got that gig tonight, 792 00:48:24,698 --> 00:48:29,615 you know, with Yo Yo Yo Yo Yo, but I just broke my ukulele. 793 00:48:31,753 --> 00:48:33,402 I'm not feeling very confident. 794 00:48:33,402 --> 00:48:36,138 - You'll be great, you always are. 795 00:48:36,138 --> 00:48:40,190 ♪ Impossible, impossible, impossible, impossible ♪ 796 00:48:40,190 --> 00:48:42,320 ♪ For us ♪ 797 00:48:42,320 --> 00:48:45,903 - Hey, Matt, it was really nice to see you. 798 00:48:47,453 --> 00:48:50,495 ♪ I still love you ♪ 799 00:48:50,495 --> 00:48:55,296 ♪ Always love you ♪ 800 00:48:55,296 --> 00:48:59,089 ♪ Though I've got to wonder why ♪ 801 00:48:59,089 --> 00:49:01,377 - I had a set back earlier today after I saw someone 802 00:49:01,377 --> 00:49:03,455 who's a real trigger for me. 803 00:49:03,455 --> 00:49:05,455 I binged on jelly beans. 804 00:49:07,905 --> 00:49:12,905 ♪ And I've tried to stop, I've tried ♪ 805 00:49:15,184 --> 00:49:20,184 ♪ Is it really toxic masculinity ♪ 806 00:49:23,707 --> 00:49:27,216 ♪ Just seems so impossible, impossible, impossible ♪ 807 00:49:27,216 --> 00:49:32,033 ♪ Impossible that you ♪ 808 00:49:32,033 --> 00:49:37,033 ♪ That you'd just not be into me ♪ 809 00:49:41,298 --> 00:49:46,298 ♪ Into me ♪ 810 00:49:47,410 --> 00:49:50,160 ♪ Be into me, oh ♪ 811 00:49:52,818 --> 00:49:53,651 - Sean. 812 00:49:55,858 --> 00:49:57,294 - I'll see you later, okay? 813 00:49:57,294 --> 00:49:58,127 See you later. 814 00:49:58,127 --> 00:50:00,214 - I've been looking all over for you. 815 00:50:00,214 --> 00:50:01,413 I thought we were rehearsing today? 816 00:50:01,413 --> 00:50:03,013 Didn't you get my messages? 817 00:50:03,013 --> 00:50:05,540 - No, my phone was off. 818 00:50:05,540 --> 00:50:06,957 - Oh, who's that? 819 00:50:09,764 --> 00:50:11,412 - That? 820 00:50:11,412 --> 00:50:13,251 No one, no one at all. 821 00:50:13,251 --> 00:50:17,168 Anyway, I am going to go inside to get a drink. 822 00:50:20,032 --> 00:50:20,865 - Celery. 823 00:50:22,130 --> 00:50:24,899 What's this? - It's just a snack. 824 00:50:24,899 --> 00:50:28,227 - There's lipstick on it. - What is this? 825 00:50:28,227 --> 00:50:29,831 The celery inquisition? 826 00:50:29,831 --> 00:50:31,732 - You've been sharing your celery with another woman, 827 00:50:31,732 --> 00:50:32,732 haven't you? 828 00:50:33,921 --> 00:50:36,563 - You're starting to become a real drag, Immi. 829 00:50:36,563 --> 00:50:37,873 You know what? 830 00:50:37,873 --> 00:50:40,029 I don't think we've got room for you on the bill tonight 831 00:50:40,029 --> 00:50:41,105 after all. 832 00:50:41,105 --> 00:50:43,408 Why don't you just go home? 833 00:50:43,408 --> 00:50:46,289 - But I've been practicing for weeks. 834 00:50:46,289 --> 00:50:49,206 - And you didn't even get any good. 835 00:50:51,827 --> 00:50:54,410 (upbeat music) 836 00:50:58,686 --> 00:51:00,826 ♪ Celery ♪ 837 00:51:00,826 --> 00:51:05,826 ♪ Chewing on you works off calories ♪ 838 00:51:06,249 --> 00:51:08,311 ♪ And can't you see ♪ 839 00:51:08,311 --> 00:51:13,311 ♪ That (indistinct) an allegory ♪ 840 00:51:15,642 --> 00:51:16,642 - Thank you. 841 00:51:19,460 --> 00:51:22,635 - (sighing) Matt. 842 00:51:22,635 --> 00:51:25,771 - What's wrong? - I'm not playing. 843 00:51:25,771 --> 00:51:27,760 - Oh, no, it's okay, I've got you a new ukulele. 844 00:51:27,760 --> 00:51:28,593 See? 845 00:51:30,120 --> 00:51:34,620 - That's really sweet but obviously I already got one. 846 00:51:35,543 --> 00:51:38,423 - I already threw away the receipt. 847 00:51:38,423 --> 00:51:40,966 - Sean doesn't want me to play. 848 00:51:40,966 --> 00:51:42,633 He says I'm no good. 849 00:51:45,384 --> 00:51:48,616 - I'd like to check in my ukulele please. 850 00:51:48,616 --> 00:51:51,449 (energetic music) 851 00:51:58,487 --> 00:52:02,058 ♪ My sad, sad song ♪ 852 00:52:02,058 --> 00:52:06,103 ♪ I'm a fool, I knew it all along ♪ 853 00:52:06,103 --> 00:52:09,751 ♪ For a moment, I thought that I could ♪ 854 00:52:09,751 --> 00:52:13,528 ♪ But I didn't even get any good ♪ 855 00:52:13,528 --> 00:52:16,028 (Immi crying) 856 00:52:35,006 --> 00:52:38,006 (audience cheering) 857 00:52:45,515 --> 00:52:46,352 - Sorry, everyone, 858 00:52:46,352 --> 00:52:49,632 but the opening act tonight has pulled out. 859 00:52:49,632 --> 00:52:51,550 (audience booing) 860 00:52:51,550 --> 00:52:54,512 Yeah, yeah, very unprofessional, I know, 861 00:52:54,512 --> 00:52:57,106 but I can assure you that they will not be opening 862 00:52:57,106 --> 00:52:59,189 for Yo Yo Yo Yo Yo again. 863 00:53:00,190 --> 00:53:05,190 - [Audience] Yo Yo Yo Yo Yo, Yo Yo Yo Yo Yo, Yo Yo Yo Yo Yo. 864 00:53:06,241 --> 00:53:09,662 - So naturally there's been a slight change of plans, 865 00:53:09,662 --> 00:53:13,162 but I can assure you everything is still-- 866 00:53:14,912 --> 00:53:18,672 - No, no, no, no, no, Sean has been misinformed. 867 00:53:18,672 --> 00:53:21,291 The opening act is here and ready to rock. 868 00:53:21,291 --> 00:53:24,124 (audience booing) 869 00:53:27,097 --> 00:53:29,359 - [Audience] Fight, fight, fight, fight, fight, fight, 870 00:53:29,359 --> 00:53:32,216 fight, fight, fight, fight, fight, fight, fight, fight 871 00:53:32,216 --> 00:53:34,961 fight, fight, fight, fight, fight, fight, fight, 872 00:53:34,961 --> 00:53:36,044 fight, fight. 873 00:53:37,057 --> 00:53:37,954 - My eye. 874 00:53:37,954 --> 00:53:42,482 What have you done to me? (screaming) 875 00:53:42,482 --> 00:53:44,300 - You can do it, Immi the Vegan. 876 00:53:44,300 --> 00:53:45,717 Visit me in jail. 877 00:53:47,235 --> 00:53:48,068 Visit me. 878 00:53:55,057 --> 00:53:58,307 (microphone squealing) 879 00:54:00,886 --> 00:54:04,433 - Hi, everyone, I'm Immi the Vegan. 880 00:54:04,433 --> 00:54:07,266 (audience booing) 881 00:54:10,656 --> 00:54:12,739 I'm here to play my song. 882 00:54:13,666 --> 00:54:16,416 It's called "Vegan Love Forever". 883 00:54:22,995 --> 00:54:27,361 ♪ On Monday, I searched for love ♪ 884 00:54:27,361 --> 00:54:31,679 ♪ In a shop, down a supermarket aisle ♪ 885 00:54:31,679 --> 00:54:35,648 ♪ On Tuesday, I was in a rush ♪ 886 00:54:35,648 --> 00:54:37,875 ♪ Wednesday, I gave up ♪ 887 00:54:37,875 --> 00:54:40,000 ♪ Thursday, I had tonsillitis ♪ 888 00:54:40,000 --> 00:54:45,000 ♪ All those stories tell you that true love is there to find ♪ 889 00:54:48,320 --> 00:54:52,466 ♪ I just wanna happy ending ♪ 890 00:54:52,466 --> 00:54:56,580 ♪ Vegan love forever ♪ 891 00:54:56,580 --> 00:55:00,721 ♪ Friday, I met a guy ♪ 892 00:55:00,721 --> 00:55:02,581 ♪ Who plays guitar ♪ 893 00:55:02,581 --> 00:55:04,895 ♪ His dancing makes me smile ♪ 894 00:55:04,895 --> 00:55:08,273 ♪ Saturday, he didn't call ♪ 895 00:55:08,273 --> 00:55:11,191 ♪ And that's not all ♪ 896 00:55:11,191 --> 00:55:13,350 ♪ Turns out he has reptile blood ♪ 897 00:55:13,350 --> 00:55:15,054 ♪ All those stories ♪ 898 00:55:15,054 --> 00:55:17,305 - No, don't, don't, don't, don't touch it. 899 00:55:17,305 --> 00:55:21,461 ♪ True love is there to find ♪ 900 00:55:21,461 --> 00:55:25,767 ♪ I just wanna happy fucking ending ♪ 901 00:55:25,767 --> 00:55:30,767 ♪ With what, who, how, ever ♪ 902 00:55:30,846 --> 00:55:34,443 ♪ It's Sunday ♪ 903 00:55:34,443 --> 00:55:37,017 ♪ It's Sunday with you ♪ 904 00:55:37,017 --> 00:55:40,362 ♪ Oh, it's Sunday ♪ 905 00:55:40,362 --> 00:55:41,979 ♪ It's Sunday ♪ 906 00:55:41,979 --> 00:55:44,441 ♪ It's Sunday ♪ 907 00:55:44,441 --> 00:55:49,441 ♪ I didn't see you before but then you were there ♪ 908 00:55:49,908 --> 00:55:52,908 (audience clapping) 909 00:56:01,718 --> 00:56:03,166 - I guess you guys aren't ready for that yet, 910 00:56:03,166 --> 00:56:06,333 but your vegan kids are gonna love it. 911 00:56:12,544 --> 00:56:15,294 (relaxing music) 912 00:56:22,990 --> 00:56:25,657 (door knocking) 913 00:56:28,187 --> 00:56:29,803 - Hi. - Hey. 914 00:56:29,803 --> 00:56:31,725 - Just wanted to check you were out of jail. 915 00:56:31,725 --> 00:56:34,642 - No, my court hearing's on Monday. 916 00:56:38,159 --> 00:56:40,300 I hope Sean regains vision in that eye, 917 00:56:40,300 --> 00:56:44,967 'cause that looked a lot more serious than I'd intended. 918 00:56:45,886 --> 00:56:47,997 - I'm sorry, Matt. 919 00:56:47,997 --> 00:56:50,895 - It's okay. - No, it's not. 920 00:56:50,895 --> 00:56:52,495 I meant to call you and I didn't. 921 00:56:52,495 --> 00:56:55,271 I came on really strong about that vegan stuff. 922 00:56:55,271 --> 00:56:57,498 I was just super excited, 923 00:56:57,498 --> 00:57:00,050 and you were totally right about Sean. 924 00:57:00,050 --> 00:57:02,283 I took you for granted. 925 00:57:02,283 --> 00:57:04,545 You've always been there for me. 926 00:57:04,545 --> 00:57:06,128 Are you okay? - Yup. 927 00:57:07,472 --> 00:57:11,807 - I realize now that veganism hasn't come that easy to you, 928 00:57:11,807 --> 00:57:13,394 but I really appreciate the effort. 929 00:57:13,394 --> 00:57:15,279 - Well, I've ditched dairy though 930 00:57:15,279 --> 00:57:17,132 and I'm still going to my Meat Eaters Anonymous meetings, 931 00:57:17,132 --> 00:57:20,188 so that's got to give me some brownie points, right? 932 00:57:20,188 --> 00:57:21,771 Are brownies vegan? 933 00:57:25,308 --> 00:57:26,891 What are you doing? 934 00:57:28,316 --> 00:57:29,149 - What? 935 00:57:30,566 --> 00:57:33,533 I thought that's where the moment was leading to, 936 00:57:33,533 --> 00:57:35,949 the classic rom-com scenario? 937 00:57:35,949 --> 00:57:39,371 - No, you put me through hell and now you think 938 00:57:39,371 --> 00:57:41,948 because you make one kind of half-assed apology 939 00:57:41,948 --> 00:57:45,448 right towards the end, that that makes everything okay? 940 00:57:45,448 --> 00:57:48,531 I think I need to be alone right now. 941 00:57:49,662 --> 00:57:51,902 (door banging) 942 00:57:51,902 --> 00:57:54,735 (emotional music) 943 00:58:10,782 --> 00:58:13,918 ♪ Oh, what's happening here ♪ 944 00:58:13,918 --> 00:58:16,828 ♪ You were so desperate, but now you're cavalier ♪ 945 00:58:16,828 --> 00:58:19,981 ♪ These are mixed messages you're sending ♪ 946 00:58:19,981 --> 00:58:23,275 ♪ It's such an unsatisfying ending ♪ 947 00:58:23,275 --> 00:58:26,620 ♪ I just have to walk away ♪ 948 00:58:26,620 --> 00:58:29,645 ♪ I've had a shitter of a day ♪ 949 00:58:29,645 --> 00:58:33,835 ♪ And I'm not just some actor in your play ♪ 950 00:58:33,835 --> 00:58:35,598 ♪ That just ain't it ♪ 951 00:58:35,598 --> 00:58:40,176 ♪ Chief, let's kill that motif ♪ 952 00:58:40,176 --> 00:58:43,022 ♪ Right now, the storyline is pending ♪ 953 00:58:43,022 --> 00:58:48,022 ♪ We'll cut to a Marvel-style post credit ending ♪ 954 00:58:52,859 --> 00:58:57,678 - Now, we all hoped he was never coming back, but, well, 955 00:58:57,678 --> 00:58:59,095 here he is, Matt. 956 00:59:00,320 --> 00:59:03,320 (audience clapping) 957 00:59:08,384 --> 00:59:10,166 This poem's called Immi the Vegan, 958 00:59:10,166 --> 00:59:12,499 dedicated to Immi the Vegan. 959 00:59:14,352 --> 00:59:18,624 The story so far is of a story just begun. 960 00:59:18,624 --> 00:59:23,111 There was a battle inside me, but now it has been won, 961 00:59:23,111 --> 00:59:25,174 and I wonder what will happen now, 962 00:59:25,174 --> 00:59:28,118 trekking forward into unknown territory. 963 00:59:28,118 --> 00:59:31,868 A truce, a treaty, or perhaps something more, 964 00:59:33,620 --> 00:59:35,554 something more. 965 00:59:35,554 --> 00:59:38,221 (Sean clicking) 966 00:59:39,988 --> 00:59:41,962 (audience clicking) 967 00:59:41,962 --> 00:59:43,228 - What are you all doing? 968 00:59:43,228 --> 00:59:44,811 God, stop clicking. 969 00:59:47,183 --> 00:59:48,126 How's this even a thing? 970 00:59:48,126 --> 00:59:50,044 It doesn't even make sense. 971 00:59:50,044 --> 00:59:54,028 Stop being such dicks and let him finish his poem. 972 00:59:54,028 --> 00:59:58,361 It's about me, after all, the whole story, about me, 973 01:00:01,678 --> 01:00:05,516 even the parts in the library, which I never visited. 974 01:00:05,516 --> 01:00:08,190 I hear there was a monster. 975 01:00:08,190 --> 01:00:10,349 It's probably in the poem. 976 01:00:10,349 --> 01:00:11,536 It's about me. 977 01:00:11,536 --> 01:00:14,286 (relaxing music) 978 01:00:33,753 --> 01:00:35,358 What are you still doing here? 979 01:00:35,358 --> 01:00:36,191 It's over. 980 01:00:38,635 --> 01:00:39,802 Close the app. 981 01:00:40,781 --> 01:00:43,644 We already had a post credit scene, remember? 982 01:00:43,644 --> 01:00:46,282 I looked at the camera, I smiled. 983 01:00:46,282 --> 01:00:47,699 That was the end. 984 01:00:49,267 --> 01:00:51,756 Oh, would you like some more? 985 01:00:51,756 --> 01:00:54,879 I do have some pretty good stories about tofu. 986 01:00:54,879 --> 01:00:56,907 Come on, I'll tell you all about it. 987 01:00:56,907 --> 01:00:59,657 Come on, come on, tofu, come on.