WEBVTT FILE 1 00:00:00.125 --> 00:00:03.208 (film reel whirring) 2 00:00:02.000 --> 00:00:07.000 Downloaded from YTS.MX 3 00:00:07.106 --> 00:00:09.643 (relaxing music) 4 00:00:08.000 --> 00:00:13.000 Official YIFY movies site: YTS.MX 5 00:00:09.643 --> 00:00:14.643 ♪ What is sadness, boy ♪ 6 00:00:18.578 --> 00:00:23.578 ♪ But this broken wretch ♪ 7 00:00:27.064 --> 00:00:32.064 ♪ I'm suspended high above ♪ 8 00:00:35.769 --> 00:00:39.352 ♪ Don't look down, my love ♪ 9 00:00:44.840 --> 00:00:49.840 (car engine roaring) (upbeat music) 10 00:00:51.003 --> 00:00:53.920 (trolley rattling) 11 00:01:03.676 --> 00:01:08.676 - [Immi Voiceover] (sighing) So much guilt. 12 00:01:13.883 --> 00:01:17.382 Okay, relax, it's just a good looking guy 13 00:01:17.382 --> 00:01:19.718 who's maybe checking you out. 14 00:01:19.718 --> 00:01:21.528 Don't get ahead of yourself. 15 00:01:21.528 --> 00:01:22.906 This is only the exact way 16 00:01:22.906 --> 00:01:25.739 that every romantic comedy starts. 17 00:01:30.757 --> 00:01:32.489 My soulmate. 18 00:01:32.489 --> 00:01:34.281 This is it, Immi the vegan, 19 00:01:34.281 --> 00:01:35.927 the first day of the rest of your life 20 00:01:35.927 --> 00:01:37.923 with the man of your... 21 00:01:37.923 --> 00:01:38.756 Ew. 22 00:01:45.109 --> 00:01:47.359 - It's the shoes, isn't it? 23 00:01:51.159 --> 00:01:52.083 - Doesn't help. 24 00:01:52.083 --> 00:01:55.247 (upbeat music) 25 00:01:55.247 --> 00:01:57.111 - [News Reader] Shocking video footage has emerged 26 00:01:57.111 --> 00:02:01.010 of a man in a vegan t-shirt being accosted by a vegan woman 27 00:02:01.010 --> 00:02:02.684 late last night. 28 00:02:02.684 --> 00:02:06.760 Statistics show that presently 72% of vegans are women, 29 00:02:06.760 --> 00:02:08.698 causing the worst vegan man drought 30 00:02:08.698 --> 00:02:11.798 in the history of New Zealand. 31 00:02:11.798 --> 00:02:14.881 ♪ What to say to you ♪ 32 00:02:24.454 --> 00:02:28.573 ♪ It's always sunny where you are from ♪ 33 00:02:28.573 --> 00:02:32.293 ♪ I know ♪ 34 00:02:32.293 --> 00:02:35.358 ♪ It's lonely, oh ♪ 35 00:02:35.358 --> 00:02:37.738 - Ah, what is wrong with guys? 36 00:02:37.738 --> 00:02:42.091 ♪ I'll take you away to that summer ♪ 37 00:02:42.091 --> 00:02:44.711 (dramatic music) 38 00:02:44.711 --> 00:02:47.461 (Matt whistling) 39 00:02:48.573 --> 00:02:49.740 - Jane Austin. 40 00:02:52.059 --> 00:02:54.141 Why, I do declare. 41 00:02:54.141 --> 00:02:57.260 What are you doing in celestial mechanics? 42 00:02:57.260 --> 00:03:02.093 You don't even a Dewey number. (laughing) 43 00:03:30.430 --> 00:03:31.847 Is someone there? 44 00:03:34.250 --> 00:03:37.750 Matt, more returns, Matt, and before I go, 45 00:03:38.797 --> 00:03:40.258 I thought I ought to let you know 46 00:03:40.258 --> 00:03:43.889 that the job at the front desk has become vacant. 47 00:03:43.889 --> 00:03:46.722 - I've always dreamed of working on the front desk. 48 00:03:46.722 --> 00:03:48.992 I could give book recommendations 49 00:03:48.992 --> 00:03:50.115 and encourage people to read 50 00:03:50.115 --> 00:03:52.574 about the Red Army's desperate battles on the Eastern Front 51 00:03:52.574 --> 00:03:53.568 of World War II. 52 00:03:53.568 --> 00:03:56.200 - The library frowns upon making book recommendations, 53 00:03:56.200 --> 00:03:59.167 especially regarding battles on the Eastern Front. 54 00:03:59.167 --> 00:04:00.834 You know that, Matt. 55 00:04:04.912 --> 00:04:07.505 Still, I think you should seriously consider 56 00:04:07.505 --> 00:04:09.338 applying for the role. 57 00:04:12.531 --> 00:04:13.505 - Yes. 58 00:04:13.505 --> 00:04:16.175 ♪ Take you away to where the sun shines ♪ 59 00:04:16.175 --> 00:04:18.157 ♪ So bright, so bright ♪ 60 00:04:18.157 --> 00:04:20.955 ♪ You can stare at the stars at night ♪ 61 00:04:20.955 --> 00:04:22.456 - "Hey, Immi the Vegan. 62 00:04:22.456 --> 00:04:23.960 "I'm a musician too. 63 00:04:23.960 --> 00:04:25.985 "I play the viola. 64 00:04:25.985 --> 00:04:28.389 "Like you, I prefer to watch music live. 65 00:04:28.389 --> 00:04:29.222 "Don't you think the experience 66 00:04:29.222 --> 00:04:31.381 "is way more genuine that way? 67 00:04:31.381 --> 00:04:33.971 "I'd be interested in meeting up if you are?" 68 00:04:33.971 --> 00:04:36.996 Question mark, smiley face. 69 00:04:36.996 --> 00:04:40.389 "BTW, I also have some meat you'd like to eat." 70 00:04:40.389 --> 00:04:41.889 Aw. 71 00:04:41.889 --> 00:04:44.176 (door creaking) 72 00:04:44.176 --> 00:04:45.810 - Hey. - Hi. 73 00:04:45.810 --> 00:04:46.997 - What you doing? 74 00:04:46.997 --> 00:04:48.706 - Having terrible luck with online dating. 75 00:04:48.706 --> 00:04:49.706 - Great, aw. 76 00:04:51.317 --> 00:04:54.551 - Do you know how many dicks I've seen since I signed up? 77 00:04:54.551 --> 00:04:55.384 128. 78 00:04:56.592 --> 00:04:58.718 128 dicks, Matt. 79 00:04:58.718 --> 00:05:01.551 - That's a lot, but online dating? 80 00:05:03.390 --> 00:05:04.540 Why would you do that? 81 00:05:04.540 --> 00:05:06.315 - I don't know. 82 00:05:06.315 --> 00:05:07.898 To find a nice guy? 83 00:05:10.007 --> 00:05:13.080 Sure, I'm a strong, independent, feminist, eco-friendly, 84 00:05:13.080 --> 00:05:15.514 ultra-creative, vegan warrior, but I'd also like-- 85 00:05:15.514 --> 00:05:16.404 - Dicks? 86 00:05:16.404 --> 00:05:20.230 - Well, yeah, but don't have to be so crass about it. 87 00:05:20.230 --> 00:05:24.006 - Yeah, but online dating's so 2015. 88 00:05:24.006 --> 00:05:26.809 Isn't meeting somebody in real life and getting to know them 89 00:05:26.809 --> 00:05:28.857 as a friend first so much better? 90 00:05:28.857 --> 00:05:31.606 Then they can just consensually show you their dick, 91 00:05:31.606 --> 00:05:36.406 not in a pic, in real life, a solicited non-pic dick 92 00:05:36.406 --> 00:05:38.439 that you picked. 93 00:05:38.439 --> 00:05:39.577 - I'm thinking of giving up on it anyway. 94 00:05:39.577 --> 00:05:40.793 - Dick? 95 00:05:40.793 --> 00:05:42.872 - No, Matt, online dating. 96 00:05:42.872 --> 00:05:44.729 - Oh, yeah, of course. 97 00:05:44.729 --> 00:05:46.503 I got you this. 98 00:05:46.503 --> 00:05:49.109 (paper rustling) 99 00:05:49.109 --> 00:05:51.251 They do an open mic once a week. 100 00:05:51.251 --> 00:05:52.839 You should give it a go. 101 00:05:52.839 --> 00:05:54.697 - Nah. - Why not? 102 00:05:54.697 --> 00:05:56.087 Your songs are really powerful. 103 00:05:56.087 --> 00:05:58.228 - I don't know if I could get up front of all those people. 104 00:05:58.228 --> 00:06:00.277 - Oh, you'd be surprised at how few people actually come 105 00:06:00.277 --> 00:06:03.256 to these things, and, hey, I'm performing tonight 106 00:06:03.256 --> 00:06:05.430 at Club Slam, which is end-of-year poetry event. 107 00:06:05.430 --> 00:06:06.263 You should come. 108 00:06:06.263 --> 00:06:08.815 - [Announcer] And now our headlining act, 109 00:06:08.815 --> 00:06:13.398 whose songs are 100% plant-based and cruelty free, 110 00:06:14.537 --> 00:06:18.375 Immi the-- - So you'll be there, right? 111 00:06:18.375 --> 00:06:20.540 - What? - Tonight. 112 00:06:20.540 --> 00:06:24.734 It's only the biggest slam poetry event of the year. 113 00:06:24.734 --> 00:06:27.651 - Yeah, sure, dick pics, dick pics. 114 00:06:31.233 --> 00:06:35.871 ♪ I don't want your meat on my plate ♪ 115 00:06:35.871 --> 00:06:38.078 ♪ Or in my mouth ♪ 116 00:06:38.078 --> 00:06:41.089 ♪ I just want to meet you ♪ 117 00:06:41.089 --> 00:06:45.377 ♪ At the park or at my house ♪ 118 00:06:45.377 --> 00:06:47.315 ♪ Just because you like Netflix ♪ 119 00:06:47.315 --> 00:06:49.986 ♪ And I like chick flicks ♪ 120 00:06:49.986 --> 00:06:52.113 ♪ Doesn't mean I want your dick pics ♪ 121 00:06:52.113 --> 00:06:55.863 ♪ Online dating really sucks ♪ 122 00:07:00.339 --> 00:07:05.029 I feel like there was somewhere I'm supposed to be. 123 00:07:05.029 --> 00:07:06.467 ♪ Feeling more hopeful ♪ 124 00:07:06.467 --> 00:07:08.003 ♪ I've had a wee sing ♪ 125 00:07:08.003 --> 00:07:09.603 ♪ I won't see their thing ♪ 126 00:07:09.603 --> 00:07:11.525 ♪ When I hear the next ping ♪ 127 00:07:11.525 --> 00:07:16.525 (laptop dinging) (upbeat music) 128 00:07:17.394 --> 00:07:19.311 GreenBean, sounds sexy. 129 00:07:22.162 --> 00:07:23.662 GreenBean is sexy. 130 00:07:27.690 --> 00:07:32.357 ♪ The world turns longer than it should ♪ 131 00:07:35.333 --> 00:07:38.833 - Okay, please welcome to the stage, Matt. 132 00:07:39.782 --> 00:07:42.740 (crowd clapping) 133 00:07:42.740 --> 00:07:44.487 - Hello, everyone. 134 00:07:44.487 --> 00:07:47.404 This poem's called World War II II. 135 00:07:52.823 --> 00:07:56.240 The flame was alive, but only in my mind. 136 00:07:58.345 --> 00:08:01.928 My love for her burned like Dresden in '45. 137 00:08:03.081 --> 00:08:07.817 I launched a pincer movement to encircle her heart, 138 00:08:07.817 --> 00:08:12.817 but my hopes froze like bones on the steps of Stalingrad. 139 00:08:13.205 --> 00:08:16.505 To her, I'm Switzerland, a neutral friend 140 00:08:16.505 --> 00:08:20.857 till the bitter end, except without any money, 141 00:08:20.857 --> 00:08:25.234 and woe is me, I'm not even any good at poetry. 142 00:08:25.234 --> 00:08:30.234 - (clicking) Yeah, at least you got that right. 143 00:08:34.677 --> 00:08:38.288 - Our love rose like Warsaw in '44. 144 00:08:38.288 --> 00:08:42.833 - I think I might rise and leave, because this guy is awful. 145 00:08:42.833 --> 00:08:45.408 - Steady on, this is a safe place, 146 00:08:45.408 --> 00:08:48.510 where we encourage and support our brothers and sisters 147 00:08:48.510 --> 00:08:50.689 of the spoken word. 148 00:08:50.689 --> 00:08:52.913 - Come on, mate, he's terrible. 149 00:08:52.913 --> 00:08:56.433 Does anyone want this man to finish his poem? 150 00:08:56.433 --> 00:08:57.266 A friend? 151 00:08:57.266 --> 00:08:58.487 An acquaintance? 152 00:08:58.487 --> 00:09:01.300 A single person, who's come here to watch him today? 153 00:09:01.300 --> 00:09:02.467 Just one hand. 154 00:09:05.492 --> 00:09:06.742 - Sandwich guy? 155 00:09:10.949 --> 00:09:13.436 Where are you, Immi the Vegan? 156 00:09:13.436 --> 00:09:18.436 (audience clicking) (dramatic music) 157 00:09:36.387 --> 00:09:37.623 - Thanks, Matt. 158 00:09:37.623 --> 00:09:40.727 Now, we do take audience feedback very seriously 159 00:09:40.727 --> 00:09:42.648 here at Club Slamwich, 160 00:09:42.648 --> 00:09:45.981 so hopefully he'll never be coming back. 161 00:09:48.067 --> 00:09:50.650 (solemn music) 162 00:09:57.250 --> 00:10:00.701 ♪ Oh, Lord, I've seen ♪ 163 00:10:00.701 --> 00:10:04.004 ♪ What brings me here ♪ 164 00:10:04.004 --> 00:10:08.421 ♪ It's a mother to all along the way ♪ 165 00:10:10.933 --> 00:10:11.850 - A tavern? 166 00:10:14.193 --> 00:10:16.466 ♪ Will age with me ♪ (car door clicking) ♪ 167 00:10:16.466 --> 00:10:17.299 Thanks. 168 00:10:18.591 --> 00:10:19.474 - Hi. - Hi. 169 00:10:19.474 --> 00:10:21.356 - Hi, you must be Immi. - Yes. 170 00:10:21.356 --> 00:10:23.849 - Nice to meet you. (kissing) 171 00:10:23.849 --> 00:10:25.516 My name's GreenBean. 172 00:10:27.413 --> 00:10:31.391 - Nice to meet you, GreenBean. - It's nice to meet you. 173 00:10:31.391 --> 00:10:32.703 - Is this where you come often? 174 00:10:32.703 --> 00:10:34.547 - Yeah, yeah, yeah, it's great. 175 00:10:34.547 --> 00:10:39.547 ♪ And the boys were waiting, gazing ♪ 176 00:10:39.650 --> 00:10:42.227 ♪ I don't want your sausage ♪ 177 00:10:42.227 --> 00:10:43.711 ♪ It'll cause a blockage ♪ 178 00:10:43.711 --> 00:10:45.841 ♪ Call the toxicologist ♪ 179 00:10:45.841 --> 00:10:48.208 ♪ I just want you to meet with me ♪ 180 00:10:48.208 --> 00:10:50.018 ♪ Not for your meat, you see ♪ 181 00:10:50.018 --> 00:10:52.639 ♪ We'll have a cup of tea ♪ 182 00:10:52.639 --> 00:10:54.332 ♪ Just 'cause I'm free in the PM's ♪ 183 00:10:54.332 --> 00:10:56.383 ♪ And most weekends ♪ 184 00:10:56.383 --> 00:10:58.595 ♪ Doesn't mean you can sign to my DM's ♪ 185 00:10:58.595 --> 00:11:02.345 ♪ Online dating really sucks ♪ 186 00:11:11.378 --> 00:11:13.961 (solemn music) 187 00:11:17.703 --> 00:11:20.370 (phone buzzing) 188 00:11:37.185 --> 00:11:39.714 - Not even any chips. 189 00:11:39.714 --> 00:11:41.892 I thought you said this place had great vegan food. 190 00:11:41.892 --> 00:11:45.483 Oh, yeah, they have heaps of vegetarian options. 191 00:11:45.483 --> 00:11:47.104 - It's not the same. - Isn't it? 192 00:11:47.104 --> 00:11:49.104 - No. - Sorry, excuse me. 193 00:11:50.045 --> 00:11:50.878 Hi. 194 00:11:54.129 --> 00:11:55.737 - Hi, sorry to be a hassle. 195 00:11:55.737 --> 00:11:59.645 Can any of these meals we made vegan? 196 00:11:59.645 --> 00:12:02.478 - I'll go and check with the chef. 197 00:12:04.692 --> 00:12:05.613 (cutlery banging) 198 00:12:05.613 --> 00:12:07.179 - [Chef] Aw, fuck you. 199 00:12:07.179 --> 00:12:08.941 No, fuck you, okay? 200 00:12:08.941 --> 00:12:10.860 Not another fucking vegan. 201 00:12:10.860 --> 00:12:15.392 I have had it with these fucking pie-minded, idealistic, 202 00:12:15.392 --> 00:12:18.989 hipster bullshit people destroying my art. 203 00:12:18.989 --> 00:12:20.906 Absolutely fucking not. 204 00:12:28.429 --> 00:12:29.795 - Not a problem. 205 00:12:29.795 --> 00:12:31.708 We can do that for you. 206 00:12:31.708 --> 00:12:33.598 - I really appreciate it. 207 00:12:33.598 --> 00:12:36.170 - Can I also grab the lamb curry please? 208 00:12:36.170 --> 00:12:37.451 Just hold the vegetables. 209 00:12:37.451 --> 00:12:39.083 - Excellent choice. 210 00:12:39.083 --> 00:12:42.158 The lamb curry's particularly tender this evening. 211 00:12:42.158 --> 00:12:42.991 - Oh. 212 00:12:43.845 --> 00:12:46.622 - I thought you'd at least be vegetarian? 213 00:12:46.622 --> 00:12:47.518 - Sorry? 214 00:12:47.518 --> 00:12:49.755 - Your profile name, GreenBean31? 215 00:12:49.755 --> 00:12:51.002 - Yeah, nah, I just chose that name 216 00:12:51.002 --> 00:12:54.552 'cause I hate vegetables, especially green beans. 217 00:12:54.552 --> 00:12:57.240 - One lamb curry and one special meal. 218 00:12:57.240 --> 00:13:01.734 Don't worry, it'll definitely be gluten-free. 219 00:13:01.734 --> 00:13:02.567 - Vegan? 220 00:13:09.567 --> 00:13:12.317 (relaxing music) 221 00:13:13.257 --> 00:13:14.142 (plate banging) 222 00:13:14.142 --> 00:13:16.725 Of course, a salad. - Thank you. 223 00:13:22.518 --> 00:13:25.268 (dramatic music) 224 00:13:31.664 --> 00:13:34.497 (whimsical music) 225 00:13:40.211 --> 00:13:41.832 Looks healthy. 226 00:13:41.832 --> 00:13:42.665 - [Immi Voiceover] Yeah, it's healthy 227 00:13:42.665 --> 00:13:44.998 'cause it's a fucking salad. 228 00:13:50.125 --> 00:13:52.110 - How would you like your steaks, sir? 229 00:13:52.110 --> 00:13:54.263 Rare, bloody as hell, still moving? 230 00:13:54.263 --> 00:13:55.680 - Ssh. - But, sir, 231 00:13:56.688 --> 00:14:00.840 you ordered the rib eye? - Give me the number 46. 232 00:14:00.840 --> 00:14:04.211 (relaxing music) 233 00:14:04.211 --> 00:14:06.878 (menu rustling) 234 00:14:22.468 --> 00:14:24.371 - Are you sure you don't want some? 235 00:14:24.371 --> 00:14:29.371 I'm pretty sure there's no meat in a sundae. (laughing) 236 00:14:29.794 --> 00:14:34.544 - Number 46, sir, whole fried chicken stuffed with bacon. 237 00:14:36.878 --> 00:14:39.628 (plate smashing) 238 00:14:41.645 --> 00:14:44.145 Sir, you dropped your chicken. 239 00:14:48.045 --> 00:14:51.295 - Hey, is that a Yo Yo Yo Yo Yo poster? 240 00:14:56.998 --> 00:14:58.826 They've got a gig coming up. 241 00:14:58.826 --> 00:15:00.308 - [GreenBean] So you like your Yo Yo Yo Yo? 242 00:15:00.308 --> 00:15:01.459 - I do. - Nice. 243 00:15:01.459 --> 00:15:04.376 - Yeah. - They're good, I like that. 244 00:15:08.004 --> 00:15:08.837 Excuse me. 245 00:15:16.222 --> 00:15:17.692 ♪ Man peeing ♪ 246 00:15:17.692 --> 00:15:20.114 ♪ Men peeing ♪ ♪ It's out of frame ♪ 247 00:15:20.114 --> 00:15:22.355 ♪ But you know what you aren't seeing ♪ 248 00:15:22.355 --> 00:15:24.159 ♪ Man being ♪ 249 00:15:24.159 --> 00:15:27.076 ♪ And having dicks ♪ 250 00:15:30.146 --> 00:15:32.874 - Here on a date? - Yeah, I am. 251 00:15:32.874 --> 00:15:34.261 You? - No, no, 252 00:15:34.261 --> 00:15:37.243 I prefer dining alone, eating whatever I want 253 00:15:37.243 --> 00:15:38.227 whenever I want. 254 00:15:38.227 --> 00:15:40.723 Some people are such fussy eaters. 255 00:15:40.723 --> 00:15:41.556 - It's funny. 256 00:15:41.556 --> 00:15:44.045 My date's actually a vegan. 257 00:15:44.045 --> 00:15:47.703 - They are the worst. - I know, right? 258 00:15:47.703 --> 00:15:49.647 - So many rules. - Yeah, no meats. 259 00:15:49.647 --> 00:15:53.897 - No meat, fish, eggs, dairy, leather, wool, honey. 260 00:15:55.010 --> 00:15:58.236 - Yeah, it's crazy. - I mean, sure, 261 00:15:58.236 --> 00:16:00.571 the environmental evidence alone suggests 262 00:16:00.571 --> 00:16:02.653 we should be significantly reducing, 263 00:16:02.653 --> 00:16:06.028 if not completely cutting out our meat, 264 00:16:06.028 --> 00:16:08.383 but who cares about the environment? 265 00:16:08.383 --> 00:16:10.269 Fuck the planet. - Fuck the planet, yeah. 266 00:16:10.269 --> 00:16:12.331 - Fuck it, and you know what they say? 267 00:16:12.331 --> 00:16:15.748 Once you go vegan, you never go un-vegan. 268 00:16:17.289 --> 00:16:18.872 It's like a tattoo. 269 00:16:19.755 --> 00:16:23.755 I'd run if I was you. - Seriously considering it. 270 00:16:25.993 --> 00:16:28.873 But on the other hand, she's hot, and I have some meat 271 00:16:28.873 --> 00:16:30.815 she might like to eat, yeah. 272 00:16:30.815 --> 00:16:35.101 All right, good chat. (laughing) 273 00:16:35.101 --> 00:16:39.184 - Yes, it did look like quite a substantial meal. 274 00:16:47.184 --> 00:16:50.160 - I had a really good time tonight. 275 00:16:50.160 --> 00:16:51.134 - Thanks. 276 00:16:51.134 --> 00:16:53.884 (relaxing music) 277 00:17:02.941 --> 00:17:04.441 - Shall we? - What? 278 00:17:10.637 --> 00:17:11.637 Meat breath. 279 00:17:26.253 --> 00:17:28.836 (solemn music) 280 00:17:34.624 --> 00:17:37.291 (door knocking) 281 00:17:41.315 --> 00:17:43.683 - Hey, I was just out for a walk 282 00:17:43.683 --> 00:17:45.994 and I saw your light was on. 283 00:17:45.994 --> 00:17:49.363 I thought I'd swing by. - It's midnight, Matt. 284 00:17:49.363 --> 00:17:50.383 - Yeah, can I come in? 285 00:17:50.383 --> 00:17:52.768 'Cause it's quite cold. 286 00:17:52.768 --> 00:17:54.367 - You were right about online dating. 287 00:17:54.367 --> 00:17:56.608 I just had the worst date ever. 288 00:17:56.608 --> 00:17:57.441 - Oh, no. 289 00:17:58.784 --> 00:18:00.798 - I just don't know if I can date-- 290 00:18:00.798 --> 00:18:02.240 - A meat-eater. 291 00:18:02.240 --> 00:18:05.952 - Yeah, plus he couldn't even get my name right. 292 00:18:05.952 --> 00:18:09.472 He called me Immi, and obviously it's... 293 00:18:09.472 --> 00:18:13.359 - [Both] Immi the Vegan, the whole thing. 294 00:18:13.359 --> 00:18:16.526 - Thank you, I'm glad you came around. 295 00:18:23.024 --> 00:18:27.534 - Would've been nice to have seen you at my poetry event. 296 00:18:27.534 --> 00:18:28.867 - You know what? 297 00:18:29.902 --> 00:18:33.264 I should have a vegan potluck to attract vegan men, 298 00:18:33.264 --> 00:18:34.347 a honey trap. 299 00:18:35.615 --> 00:18:36.448 No. 300 00:18:38.078 --> 00:18:39.728 An agave syrup trap. 301 00:18:39.728 --> 00:18:42.645 (depressing music) 302 00:18:46.384 --> 00:18:48.152 ♪ Eating out ♪ 303 00:18:48.152 --> 00:18:49.672 ♪ Eating out ♪ 304 00:18:49.672 --> 00:18:52.727 ♪ Eating out as a vegan ♪ 305 00:18:52.727 --> 00:18:56.058 ♪ Clam chowder, frankfurters, pork, beef bangers ♪ 306 00:18:56.058 --> 00:18:56.891 ♪ No thanks ♪ 307 00:18:56.891 --> 00:18:59.212 ♪ Uh-uh, no thanks ♪ 308 00:18:59.212 --> 00:19:00.748 ♪ But my appetite is big ♪ 309 00:19:00.748 --> 00:19:02.203 ♪ I'll eat all night if I think ♪ 310 00:19:02.203 --> 00:19:07.101 ♪ That it's right ♪ 311 00:19:07.101 --> 00:19:11.156 ♪ Come on, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me ♪ 312 00:19:11.156 --> 00:19:14.982 ♪ Me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me ♪ 313 00:19:14.982 --> 00:19:18.649 ♪ Me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, ♪ 314 00:19:18.649 --> 00:19:21.482 (emotional music) 315 00:19:40.742 --> 00:19:43.283 - Have you ever tried making your own tofu? 316 00:19:43.283 --> 00:19:47.300 - No, I haven't tried making my own tofu. 317 00:19:47.300 --> 00:19:48.930 Vegans. 318 00:19:48.930 --> 00:19:51.057 (door knocking) 319 00:19:51.057 --> 00:19:52.890 - A man. - A vegan man. 320 00:19:57.971 --> 00:19:59.363 - Hi. - This is turning 321 00:19:59.363 --> 00:20:00.788 into a real clam fest. 322 00:20:00.788 --> 00:20:04.291 What's the vegan equivalent of a clam fest? 323 00:20:04.291 --> 00:20:07.380 (plate banging) 324 00:20:07.380 --> 00:20:08.492 Are you sure it's vegan? 325 00:20:08.492 --> 00:20:11.101 It looks a little realistic. 326 00:20:11.101 --> 00:20:12.877 - I brought a list of the ingredients. 327 00:20:12.877 --> 00:20:16.701 - Oh, hang on, I brought my vegan scanner. 328 00:20:16.701 --> 00:20:19.534 (machine beeping) 329 00:20:24.061 --> 00:20:25.478 - [Machine] Safe. 330 00:20:26.655 --> 00:20:29.298 - 'Cause I already had a bite. 331 00:20:29.298 --> 00:20:32.626 - Hey, hey. - Oh my God, it's a vegan man. 332 00:20:32.626 --> 00:20:34.459 - [Machine] He's cool. 333 00:20:35.665 --> 00:20:36.816 - Did you make that? 334 00:20:36.816 --> 00:20:39.041 - Yeah, I've started baking. 335 00:20:39.041 --> 00:20:40.079 It's my first attempt. 336 00:20:40.079 --> 00:20:42.496 Dig in, ladies, don't be shy. 337 00:20:48.089 --> 00:20:50.922 (machine beeping) 338 00:20:58.140 --> 00:21:01.807 - [Machine] Warning, only 99.98% vegan. 339 00:21:03.849 --> 00:21:05.172 - Did that scanner just talk? 340 00:21:05.172 --> 00:21:06.265 - Yes. - You brought something 341 00:21:06.265 --> 00:21:09.509 that's not vegan. - Yes it is, I made it myself. 342 00:21:09.509 --> 00:21:10.662 - What's in it, scanner? 343 00:21:10.662 --> 00:21:11.712 - [Machine] Cochineal. 344 00:21:11.712 --> 00:21:14.379 (woman gasping) 345 00:21:15.810 --> 00:21:16.643 - Cochi-what? 346 00:21:16.643 --> 00:21:19.005 - The red coloring made from beetles. 347 00:21:19.005 --> 00:21:21.566 What vegan doesn't know that? 348 00:21:21.566 --> 00:21:23.047 - Actually, Matt's not vegan. 349 00:21:23.047 --> 00:21:25.728 (woman gasping) 350 00:21:25.728 --> 00:21:27.145 - [Machine] Gasp. 351 00:21:28.591 --> 00:21:30.508 - Well, I'm ve-curious. 352 00:21:33.346 --> 00:21:35.929 It's just beetles. - Oh my God. 353 00:21:37.570 --> 00:21:39.234 - [Machine] You are pure evil. 354 00:21:39.234 --> 00:21:41.996 You have spilled the blood of the innocent beetle. 355 00:21:41.996 --> 00:21:43.079 You must pay. 356 00:21:43.999 --> 00:21:47.263 Vegans and non-vegans cannot co-exist. 357 00:21:47.263 --> 00:21:49.093 The great war is coming. 358 00:21:49.093 --> 00:21:50.607 - That's it. - If you strike me down, 359 00:21:50.607 --> 00:21:54.866 I will become more powerful than you could possibly imagine. 360 00:21:54.866 --> 00:21:58.303 ♪ What did a beetle ever do to you ♪ 361 00:21:58.303 --> 00:22:01.482 ♪ Why do you hate it so much ♪ 362 00:22:01.482 --> 00:22:02.415 - [Vegan Woman] Oh, yeah, 363 00:22:02.415 --> 00:22:03.909 I've washed my hands about 10 times. 364 00:22:03.909 --> 00:22:06.293 - [Vegan Woman] I know, can still smell it, beetles. 365 00:22:06.293 --> 00:22:09.477 - Oh, good God, those poor beetles. 366 00:22:09.477 --> 00:22:10.980 - I know. 367 00:22:10.980 --> 00:22:14.563 - I think this would be a great opportunity 368 00:22:15.672 --> 00:22:17.801 for you to practice singing in front of people. 369 00:22:17.801 --> 00:22:19.776 - I'm not at all prepared. - Yes, you are. 370 00:22:19.776 --> 00:22:21.761 I've heard you sing. 371 00:22:21.761 --> 00:22:23.506 - Nah. - If you can't do this 372 00:22:23.506 --> 00:22:25.316 in front of a few close friends, 373 00:22:25.316 --> 00:22:27.505 how are you ever going to become the self-made singer, 374 00:22:27.505 --> 00:22:29.064 songwriter, social media superstar 375 00:22:29.064 --> 00:22:32.661 that we both know you're destined to be. 376 00:22:32.661 --> 00:22:36.898 - Okay, I'll play a couple of songs in the background 377 00:22:36.898 --> 00:22:38.049 but don't make a big deal out of this. 378 00:22:38.049 --> 00:22:39.699 - Quiet, everyone. - Matt. 379 00:22:39.699 --> 00:22:40.942 - It's okay, it's okay. 380 00:22:40.942 --> 00:22:43.221 Will you shut the fuck up please? 381 00:22:43.221 --> 00:22:47.304 Immi the Vegan's about to play some of her songs. 382 00:22:54.452 --> 00:22:55.285 - Ah. 383 00:22:57.603 --> 00:23:00.353 (relaxing music) 384 00:23:22.631 --> 00:23:24.740 - Oh, hey, everyone, is this the vegan potluck? 385 00:23:24.740 --> 00:23:26.386 - Hi, yes it is. 386 00:23:26.386 --> 00:23:27.969 I'm Immi the Vegan. 387 00:23:27.969 --> 00:23:30.636 - Hi, Sean, Sean the Also Vegan. 388 00:23:31.553 --> 00:23:33.742 - You are? - You are? 389 00:23:33.742 --> 00:23:35.214 - Yeah, I am. 390 00:23:35.214 --> 00:23:36.354 - Well, that's great, 391 00:23:36.354 --> 00:23:39.009 but Immi the Vegan was just about to play a song actually, 392 00:23:39.009 --> 00:23:42.401 so maybe you could take a seat. 393 00:23:42.401 --> 00:23:43.982 - I am so, so sorry. 394 00:23:43.982 --> 00:23:45.489 I didn't mean to interrupt anything. 395 00:23:45.489 --> 00:23:46.580 - No, it's fine. 396 00:23:46.580 --> 00:23:48.018 I was feeling nervous anyway. 397 00:23:48.018 --> 00:23:49.455 - Maybe I could play with ya? 398 00:23:49.455 --> 00:23:52.351 - I don't think that's a great idea. 399 00:23:52.351 --> 00:23:54.098 - I don't know many songs. 400 00:23:54.098 --> 00:23:55.251 - Just play one of your own. 401 00:23:55.251 --> 00:23:57.084 I'll follow your lead. 402 00:23:58.293 --> 00:23:59.126 - Okay. 403 00:24:01.285 --> 00:24:04.118 (energetic music) 404 00:24:09.071 --> 00:24:13.062 ♪ A vegan man, a vegan man ♪ 405 00:24:13.062 --> 00:24:16.885 ♪ All I want is a vegan man ♪ 406 00:24:16.885 --> 00:24:21.109 ♪ A vegan man, a vegan man ♪ 407 00:24:21.109 --> 00:24:25.426 ♪ All I want is a vegan man ♪ 408 00:24:25.426 --> 00:24:27.462 ♪ He knows I'm not that into meat ♪ 409 00:24:27.462 --> 00:24:29.379 ♪ His cucumber looks just as sweet ♪ 410 00:24:29.379 --> 00:24:33.157 ♪ A vegan man, a vegan man ♪ 411 00:24:33.157 --> 00:24:35.493 ♪ When he's cooking, he turns up the heat ♪ 412 00:24:35.493 --> 00:24:37.319 ♪ He knows the ingredients that I can eat ♪ 413 00:24:37.319 --> 00:24:41.545 ♪ A vegan man, a vegan man ♪ 414 00:24:41.545 --> 00:24:46.545 ♪ Maybe I'll meet him at the falafel shop ♪ 415 00:24:47.116 --> 00:24:49.264 ♪ No kebabs ♪ 416 00:24:49.264 --> 00:24:52.866 ♪ Maybe I'll meet him buying tofu ♪ 417 00:24:52.866 --> 00:24:53.699 - That clicking. 418 00:24:53.699 --> 00:24:55.151 ♪ A stranger to me ♪ 419 00:24:55.151 --> 00:25:00.126 ♪ Not a friend I'd usually go to ♪ 420 00:25:00.126 --> 00:25:01.807 ♪ Only a man who's anti-meat ♪ 421 00:25:01.807 --> 00:25:04.281 ♪ Will sample these delicious treats ♪ 422 00:25:04.281 --> 00:25:05.549 - No exceptions. 423 00:25:05.549 --> 00:25:10.549 ♪ A vegan man, a vegan man ♪ 424 00:25:10.673 --> 00:25:13.115 ♪ (indistinct) ♪ 425 00:25:13.115 --> 00:25:18.115 ♪ Different to the one mentioned in that song ♪ 426 00:25:18.326 --> 00:25:20.027 - Sorry, I thought we were doing a... 427 00:25:20.027 --> 00:25:21.110 Never mind. 428 00:25:21.110 --> 00:25:23.046 - You're amazing. - You are. 429 00:25:23.046 --> 00:25:24.440 - No, you are. 430 00:25:24.440 --> 00:25:26.167 - Well, I've always said that you were. 431 00:25:26.167 --> 00:25:28.291 - You might've heard of my band actually. 432 00:25:28.291 --> 00:25:31.791 I'm the lead guitarist for Yo Yo Yo Yo Yo. 433 00:25:33.768 --> 00:25:35.268 - That is so cool. 434 00:25:37.741 --> 00:25:39.239 - All right, listen up, everybody. 435 00:25:39.239 --> 00:25:41.428 I've got an announcement to make. 436 00:25:41.428 --> 00:25:46.407 I've thought long and hard and I've come to a decision. 437 00:25:46.407 --> 00:25:48.084 I'm going full vegan. 438 00:25:48.084 --> 00:25:50.834 (women cheering) 439 00:25:52.152 --> 00:25:53.069 - Oh, Matt. 440 00:25:54.381 --> 00:25:56.964 (upbeat music) 441 00:26:01.132 --> 00:26:03.965 (energetic music) 442 00:26:06.215 --> 00:26:08.649 ♪ Old McDonald had a farm ♪ 443 00:26:08.649 --> 00:26:10.731 ♪ Ee i ee i o ♪ 444 00:26:10.731 --> 00:26:15.731 ♪ And on that farm, he had a cabbage ♪ 445 00:26:17.256 --> 00:26:19.399 ♪ Ee i ee i o ♪ 446 00:26:19.399 --> 00:26:20.715 ♪ With a munch, munch here ♪ 447 00:26:20.715 --> 00:26:22.025 ♪ And a crunch, crunch there ♪ 448 00:26:22.025 --> 00:26:24.640 ♪ Coleslaw, sauerkraut, chop suey, (indistinct) ♪ 449 00:26:24.640 --> 00:26:26.956 ♪ Old McDonald had a farm ♪ 450 00:26:26.956 --> 00:26:29.456 ♪ Ee i ee i o ♪ 451 00:26:31.220 --> 00:26:33.163 What, it's a song. 452 00:26:33.163 --> 00:26:36.124 (relaxing music) 453 00:26:36.124 --> 00:26:41.124 ♪ What is sadness, boy ♪ 454 00:26:45.220 --> 00:26:50.220 ♪ But this broken wretch ♪ 455 00:26:53.573 --> 00:26:58.573 ♪ I'm suspended high above ♪ 456 00:27:02.324 --> 00:27:05.907 ♪ Don't look down, my love ♪ 457 00:27:16.607 --> 00:27:17.984 ♪ We've gone back in time ♪ 458 00:27:17.984 --> 00:27:19.359 ♪ Don't be confused ♪ 459 00:27:19.359 --> 00:27:20.612 ♪ We did it on purpose ♪ 460 00:27:20.612 --> 00:27:22.564 ♪ We can choose what we show you ♪ 461 00:27:22.564 --> 00:27:25.509 ♪ In episode one, we showed where Matt works ♪ 462 00:27:25.509 --> 00:27:28.266 ♪ This is the day after that ♪ 463 00:27:28.266 --> 00:27:30.099 - Matt. - Hi, Prudence. 464 00:27:32.106 --> 00:27:33.268 Here's my CV. 465 00:27:33.268 --> 00:27:37.058 You can call my referee if you'd like but it'll just be you. 466 00:27:37.058 --> 00:27:38.916 - Thank you, Matt. 467 00:27:38.916 --> 00:27:41.460 The CV was merely a formality but we're all looking forward 468 00:27:41.460 --> 00:27:42.886 to having you move upstairs. 469 00:27:42.886 --> 00:27:45.113 - Can I practice now? - Absolutely not. 470 00:27:45.113 --> 00:27:46.280 - Okay. - Sean. 471 00:27:47.792 --> 00:27:49.371 Matt, this is Sean. 472 00:27:49.371 --> 00:27:51.996 He is going to be replacing you in the basement. 473 00:27:51.996 --> 00:27:53.393 - Lovely to meet you, Matthew. 474 00:27:53.393 --> 00:27:55.054 - Don't I know you from somewhere? 475 00:27:55.054 --> 00:27:56.861 - No, I don't think so. 476 00:27:56.861 --> 00:27:58.155 - Matt will show you what to do. 477 00:27:58.155 --> 00:28:00.905 He is a very experienced shelver. 478 00:28:05.950 --> 00:28:06.783 Matt? 479 00:28:07.902 --> 00:28:10.594 Don't you have some work to be getting on with? 480 00:28:10.594 --> 00:28:14.427 - Oh, yes, sorry, Prudence, yes, sorry, sorry. 481 00:28:17.121 --> 00:28:21.905 - (laughing) Look, I know the front desk position's 482 00:28:21.905 --> 00:28:24.460 been filled already, but just in case, 483 00:28:24.460 --> 00:28:25.723 here's a copy of my CV 484 00:28:25.723 --> 00:28:30.390 and I've left a little something on top for you as well. 485 00:28:31.392 --> 00:28:32.225 - Thank you. 486 00:28:32.225 --> 00:28:34.975 (dramatic music) 487 00:28:58.682 --> 00:29:01.682 (creature clicking) 488 00:29:05.189 --> 00:29:08.389 (door creaking) 489 00:29:08.389 --> 00:29:09.622 - Hey. 490 00:29:09.622 --> 00:29:12.018 ♪ Speedy, speedy, speedy, speedy, speedy, speedy, speedy ♪ 491 00:29:12.018 --> 00:29:13.755 ♪ Speedy, speedy, speedy, speedy, speedy, speedy, speedy ♪ 492 00:29:13.755 --> 00:29:14.588 ♪ Speedy ♪ 493 00:29:14.588 --> 00:29:16.597 - I should have a vegan potluck to attract vegan men. 494 00:29:16.597 --> 00:29:19.180 (upbeat music) 495 00:29:39.812 --> 00:29:42.295 - Excellent choice, sir, 496 00:29:42.295 --> 00:29:45.699 but have you considered "Blood Red Snow"? 497 00:29:45.699 --> 00:29:48.250 A harrowing firsthand account of a sniper 498 00:29:48.250 --> 00:29:50.084 on the Eastern Front of World War II. 499 00:29:50.084 --> 00:29:50.917 - Matt. 500 00:29:54.726 --> 00:29:56.684 - Sorry, Prudence. 501 00:29:56.684 --> 00:29:59.351 I came up here to give you this. 502 00:30:02.782 --> 00:30:05.598 - That was very unnecessary, Matt. 503 00:30:05.598 --> 00:30:09.024 - Well, I just know how much you love muffins. 504 00:30:09.024 --> 00:30:10.846 - Cupcakes, Matt. 505 00:30:10.846 --> 00:30:12.179 I like cupcakes. 506 00:30:13.614 --> 00:30:15.596 - I thought it was the same. 507 00:30:15.596 --> 00:30:20.142 - Sean, how is everything going in the basement? 508 00:30:20.142 --> 00:30:21.645 - Great, thank you, 509 00:30:21.645 --> 00:30:25.456 but can you believe that Matt here accidentally ordered 510 00:30:25.456 --> 00:30:27.743 an entire shelf from ascending to descending, 511 00:30:27.743 --> 00:30:29.343 instead of descending to ascending? 512 00:30:29.343 --> 00:30:32.211 it's made a mockery of the entire Dewey Decimal System. 513 00:30:32.211 --> 00:30:35.211 (both men laughing) 514 00:30:38.556 --> 00:30:41.546 - That was a test for the training. 515 00:30:41.546 --> 00:30:43.071 Well done, Sean. 516 00:30:43.071 --> 00:30:44.977 - Well, anyway, I'd better get back to it. 517 00:30:44.977 --> 00:30:48.694 Lots of things to fix down there, and I almost forgot, 518 00:30:48.694 --> 00:30:50.527 but these are for you. 519 00:30:54.134 --> 00:30:55.051 - Cupcakes. 520 00:30:56.566 --> 00:30:58.626 They're my favorite. 521 00:30:58.626 --> 00:31:01.709 - Fantastic, anyway, I've gotta dash. 522 00:31:04.515 --> 00:31:07.765 - I really thought this would come off. 523 00:31:10.066 --> 00:31:12.242 Hey, hey. - It's a vegan man. 524 00:31:12.242 --> 00:31:13.731 - Actually, Matt's not vegan. 525 00:31:13.731 --> 00:31:14.735 (woman gasping) 526 00:31:14.735 --> 00:31:15.568 - [Machine] Gasp. 527 00:31:15.568 --> 00:31:17.493 ♪ Speedy, speedy, speedy, speedy, speedy, speedy, speedy ♪ 528 00:31:17.493 --> 00:31:18.690 ♪ Speedy, speedy ♪ 529 00:31:18.690 --> 00:31:21.124 - All right, listen up, everybody. 530 00:31:21.124 --> 00:31:22.818 I'm going full vegan. 531 00:31:22.818 --> 00:31:27.592 (woman cheering) ♪ It's a good day to get out of bed ♪ 532 00:31:27.592 --> 00:31:29.440 ♪ It's a good day to put on your socks ♪ 533 00:31:29.440 --> 00:31:33.262 ♪ And get on your shoes ♪ 534 00:31:33.262 --> 00:31:35.809 ♪ It's a good time to be alive ♪ ♪ The sun is shining ♪ 535 00:31:35.809 --> 00:31:40.043 ♪ It's heating up the world and it's warming up you too ♪ 536 00:31:40.043 --> 00:31:42.775 ♪ You have everything you need right here ♪ 537 00:31:42.775 --> 00:31:43.628 ♪ Right now ♪ 538 00:31:43.628 --> 00:31:47.257 ♪ You have everything you need right there in your fridge ♪ 539 00:31:47.257 --> 00:31:51.067 ♪ You have apples and carrots, capsicum and coconuts ♪ 540 00:31:51.067 --> 00:31:54.464 ♪ You have blueberries and broad beans, tofu and broccoli ♪ 541 00:31:54.464 --> 00:31:55.827 Are you veganing at me? 542 00:31:55.827 --> 00:31:58.294 Are you veganing at me? 543 00:31:58.294 --> 00:31:59.592 ♪ You have those packets of rice ♪ 544 00:31:59.592 --> 00:32:01.419 ♪ You just heat up in the microwave ♪ 545 00:32:01.419 --> 00:32:05.140 Well, who the hell else are you veganing at? 546 00:32:05.140 --> 00:32:08.807 (Matt imitates gun banging) 547 00:32:10.405 --> 00:32:12.822 - Hot dogs, get your hot dog. 548 00:32:14.727 --> 00:32:16.583 Hot dogs here. 549 00:32:16.583 --> 00:32:18.439 What about you, sir? 550 00:32:18.439 --> 00:32:22.468 You look like you could do with a nice, tasty, 551 00:32:22.468 --> 00:32:24.468 meaty hot dog? 552 00:32:24.468 --> 00:32:26.823 We've got all kinds of hot dogs. 553 00:32:26.823 --> 00:32:28.359 We've got chicken hot dogs. 554 00:32:28.359 --> 00:32:29.235 We've got pork hot dogs. 555 00:32:29.235 --> 00:32:31.485 We've got venison hot dogs. 556 00:32:33.184 --> 00:32:35.824 First one's on the house. 557 00:32:35.824 --> 00:32:38.982 Fundraising to save the animals. 558 00:32:38.982 --> 00:32:41.732 (dramatic music) 559 00:33:16.856 --> 00:33:17.689 - Matt? 560 00:33:24.614 --> 00:33:25.652 You know what today is right? 561 00:33:25.652 --> 00:33:26.688 - Eggs. 562 00:33:26.688 --> 00:33:27.521 What? 563 00:33:27.521 --> 00:33:29.049 - It's your one month vegan anniversary. 564 00:33:29.049 --> 00:33:29.882 It's amazing. 565 00:33:29.882 --> 00:33:31.112 I'll throw you a party. 566 00:33:31.112 --> 00:33:34.415 - Oh, you don't need to do that. How about just dinner? 567 00:33:34.415 --> 00:33:36.125 Just you and me, like a date? 568 00:33:36.125 --> 00:33:38.239 - Have it at my house, it'll be great. 569 00:33:38.239 --> 00:33:41.520 We'll have vegan chicken nuggets, vegan fish fingers, 570 00:33:41.520 --> 00:33:43.708 burgers with vegan beef patties. 571 00:33:43.708 --> 00:33:45.791 - Sounds good, excuse me. 572 00:33:48.853 --> 00:33:51.436 (Matt panting) 573 00:33:53.771 --> 00:33:56.044 "When the temptation is strong, 574 00:33:56.044 --> 00:33:58.410 "focus on the thought of tofu." 575 00:33:58.410 --> 00:34:01.993 Tofu, boiled tofu, mashed tofu, fried tofu. 576 00:34:03.628 --> 00:34:04.858 Why isn't this working? 577 00:34:04.858 --> 00:34:06.775 Why isn't this working? 578 00:34:08.715 --> 00:34:10.585 It's not what it looks like. 579 00:34:10.585 --> 00:34:11.585 I'm a vegan. 580 00:34:13.579 --> 00:34:17.246 Hello, my name's Matt, and I'm a meat-eater. 581 00:34:18.183 --> 00:34:20.016 - [Group] Hello, Matt. 582 00:34:21.243 --> 00:34:25.884 - I've been off the animal products for 30 days now, 583 00:34:25.884 --> 00:34:29.256 but to be honest, it's not going that well. 584 00:34:29.256 --> 00:34:31.964 Every day is a struggle. 585 00:34:31.964 --> 00:34:34.797 I find my mind drifting back to... 586 00:34:35.943 --> 00:34:38.276 - It's okay, Matt, carry on. 587 00:34:41.496 --> 00:34:45.224 - I do everything it says in "Managing Your Meat." 588 00:34:45.224 --> 00:34:46.641 I visualize tofu. 589 00:34:47.821 --> 00:34:52.648 I think of the harm that I've caused all the cows and sheep. 590 00:34:52.648 --> 00:34:57.231 When I feel like KFC, I call my sponsor, but it's hard. 591 00:34:58.089 --> 00:34:59.590 (emotional music) 592 00:34:59.590 --> 00:35:01.632 It's really hard. 593 00:35:01.632 --> 00:35:04.817 - Thanks for sharing, take a seat. 594 00:35:04.817 --> 00:35:05.758 - I'm sorry, Matt, 595 00:35:05.758 --> 00:35:09.823 but we have given the job to somebody else. 596 00:35:09.823 --> 00:35:11.265 - What? 597 00:35:11.265 --> 00:35:15.199 - There was just somebody better suited for the position, 598 00:35:15.199 --> 00:35:18.616 someone with customer service experience. 599 00:35:20.044 --> 00:35:22.794 (dramatic music) 600 00:35:24.942 --> 00:35:26.494 - And I know it's against the rules 601 00:35:26.494 --> 00:35:29.726 but I have a really great World War II book to recommend, 602 00:35:29.726 --> 00:35:32.859 really dives into the nitty gritty of the Eastern Front, 603 00:35:32.859 --> 00:35:33.692 but don't tell anyone. 604 00:35:33.692 --> 00:35:35.442 It can be our secret. 605 00:35:41.561 --> 00:35:44.144 (solemn music) 606 00:36:01.773 --> 00:36:04.273 (Matt crying) 607 00:36:14.218 --> 00:36:18.005 (creature clicking) 608 00:36:18.005 --> 00:36:20.922 (mysterious music) 609 00:36:22.037 --> 00:36:24.278 - You're not real. 610 00:36:24.278 --> 00:36:26.424 You're just a manifestation of my insecurities 611 00:36:26.424 --> 00:36:28.003 about vegan expectation 612 00:36:28.003 --> 00:36:29.769 and the crippling anxiety brought about 613 00:36:29.769 --> 00:36:34.436 by being clicked off stage during my poetry performance. 614 00:36:40.816 --> 00:36:43.483 No. (screaming) 615 00:37:10.033 --> 00:37:14.870 ♪ Matt, Matty Matt, Matt, Matt, Matt ♪ 616 00:37:14.870 --> 00:37:16.965 ♪ I worked in the library ♪ 617 00:37:16.965 --> 00:37:18.885 ♪ It seemed weirdly unrelated ♪ 618 00:37:18.885 --> 00:37:20.868 ♪ Then I fought the monster ♪ 619 00:37:20.868 --> 00:37:23.503 ♪ It was living in the basement ♪ 620 00:37:23.503 --> 00:37:25.330 ♪ Muffins and cupcakes ♪ 621 00:37:25.330 --> 00:37:27.428 ♪ You can see my frustration ♪ 622 00:37:27.428 --> 00:37:29.139 ♪ I lost my dream job ♪ 623 00:37:29.139 --> 00:37:32.056 ♪ I spent the day ♪ 624 00:37:33.263 --> 00:37:35.680 I just realized I can't sing. 625 00:37:43.860 --> 00:37:46.360 (eerie music) 626 00:38:02.508 --> 00:38:04.194 (door creaking) 627 00:38:04.194 --> 00:38:06.777 (upbeat music) 628 00:38:13.010 --> 00:38:13.843 - Matt. 629 00:38:15.192 --> 00:38:18.123 - [Group] Happy veganniversary. 630 00:38:18.123 --> 00:38:20.539 (group cheering) 631 00:38:20.539 --> 00:38:22.956 - Okay, all right, yay, okay. 632 00:38:24.490 --> 00:38:29.082 - I thought you weren't going to make it to your own party. 633 00:38:29.082 --> 00:38:33.249 - Here I am, wouldn't miss it for the world, okay. 634 00:38:34.168 --> 00:38:35.918 - Okay, go celebrate. 635 00:38:37.400 --> 00:38:40.233 (emotional music) 636 00:38:58.918 --> 00:39:01.835 (group chattering) 637 00:39:06.423 --> 00:39:09.256 (fruit crunching) 638 00:39:13.779 --> 00:39:16.196 - Sean? - Matthew, guess what? 639 00:39:17.235 --> 00:39:19.202 - What? - Immi the Vegan 640 00:39:19.202 --> 00:39:22.262 is going to be opening for the next Yo Yo Yo Yo Yo gig. 641 00:39:22.262 --> 00:39:24.246 - What? - She's opening for us 642 00:39:24.246 --> 00:39:26.021 and I'm going to help her rehearse. 643 00:39:26.021 --> 00:39:31.021 I've got some great exercises to help warm up her throat. 644 00:39:31.023 --> 00:39:33.690 (Matt laughing) 645 00:39:37.162 --> 00:39:39.912 (group laughing) 646 00:39:53.507 --> 00:39:56.036 ♪ It's such a sad meal ♪ 647 00:39:56.036 --> 00:39:57.252 ♪ Deep in your bowl ♪ 648 00:39:57.252 --> 00:39:59.620 ♪ A kind of pale grew ♪ 649 00:39:59.620 --> 00:40:00.973 ♪ Barely nothing at all ♪ 650 00:40:00.973 --> 00:40:03.143 ♪ Within your bowl ♪ 651 00:40:03.143 --> 00:40:07.817 ♪ I'll place lentils within your bowl ♪ 652 00:40:07.817 --> 00:40:08.953 (group laughing) 653 00:40:08.953 --> 00:40:11.771 ♪ It's such a bad taste ♪ 654 00:40:11.771 --> 00:40:13.720 ♪ Caught in your teeth ♪ 655 00:40:13.720 --> 00:40:15.469 ♪ Swallow it down ♪ 656 00:40:15.469 --> 00:40:16.880 ♪ Pretending it's beef ♪ 657 00:40:16.880 --> 00:40:18.765 ♪ Within your mouth ♪ 658 00:40:18.765 --> 00:40:23.765 ♪ I'll place lentils within your mouth ♪ 659 00:40:24.671 --> 00:40:26.736 ♪ And as the taste improves ♪ 660 00:40:26.736 --> 00:40:29.008 ♪ It tastes less like goo ♪ 661 00:40:29.008 --> 00:40:30.666 ♪ Every thought is gone ♪ 662 00:40:30.666 --> 00:40:35.273 ♪ Of the meals you like to eat ♪ 663 00:40:35.273 --> 00:40:39.058 ♪ And I'll be there for you ♪ 664 00:40:39.058 --> 00:40:44.058 ♪ There's no more meat around ♪ 665 00:40:46.671 --> 00:40:51.671 ♪ There's no more meat around ♪ 666 00:40:54.752 --> 00:40:58.585 ♪ There's no more meat around ♪ 667 00:41:04.110 --> 00:41:06.693 (Matt panting) 668 00:41:10.659 --> 00:41:13.909 - [Sean] (indistinct). 669 00:41:15.462 --> 00:41:17.545 Sean, what are you doing? 670 00:41:19.765 --> 00:41:23.598 You're sharing your celery with another woman. 671 00:41:25.205 --> 00:41:27.872 (Sean clicking) 672 00:41:30.662 --> 00:41:32.412 - You're the clicker. 673 00:41:33.842 --> 00:41:35.384 You're the clicker? 674 00:41:35.384 --> 00:41:36.564 - That's right, Matthew. 675 00:41:36.564 --> 00:41:40.465 I am, and if you tell Inni the Vegan about any of this, 676 00:41:40.465 --> 00:41:42.897 I'll make sure you lose your precious shelving job. 677 00:41:42.897 --> 00:41:46.703 - (gasping) You're a bad vegan. 678 00:41:46.703 --> 00:41:51.703 - Well, at least I'm a real vegan, Matthew. (clicking) 679 00:41:57.310 --> 00:41:59.893 (door banging) 680 00:42:17.387 --> 00:42:18.220 (door knocking) 681 00:42:18.220 --> 00:42:20.303 - Matt, are you in there? 682 00:42:25.117 --> 00:42:29.058 What's that smell? - Nothing, just shitting. 683 00:42:29.058 --> 00:42:31.191 (energetic music) 684 00:42:31.191 --> 00:42:34.314 (air freshener spraying) 685 00:42:34.314 --> 00:42:36.252 - Are you okay? 686 00:42:36.252 --> 00:42:39.085 (toilet flushing) 687 00:42:47.217 --> 00:42:49.384 Matt, where are you going? 688 00:42:51.009 --> 00:42:53.842 (emotional music) 689 00:42:59.551 --> 00:43:01.551 Hey, why'd you run away? 690 00:43:03.583 --> 00:43:06.980 Wow, you chose a really cinematic spot. 691 00:43:06.980 --> 00:43:09.830 - I just come here when I'm sad, Immi the Vegan. 692 00:43:09.830 --> 00:43:12.372 I don't think in terms of production value. 693 00:43:12.372 --> 00:43:14.127 - Why are you sad? 694 00:43:14.127 --> 00:43:17.651 - Because you chose Sean over me, that arrogant, slimy fuck. 695 00:43:17.651 --> 00:43:20.068 - Over you, what do you mean? 696 00:43:21.729 --> 00:43:24.673 - I just saw him sharing celery with another woman. 697 00:43:24.673 --> 00:43:26.068 - Sean would never share celery. 698 00:43:26.068 --> 00:43:27.136 That's an awful thing to say. 699 00:43:27.136 --> 00:43:28.945 - He's also the one who's been ironically clicking me 700 00:43:28.945 --> 00:43:31.028 off stage at slam poetry. 701 00:43:32.128 --> 00:43:34.705 - Are you angry because he got the promotion over you? 702 00:43:34.705 --> 00:43:37.200 - Muffins and cupcakes are basically the same thing. 703 00:43:37.200 --> 00:43:38.784 There's pretty much no difference. 704 00:43:38.784 --> 00:43:42.618 - Actually, there is quite a big difference. 705 00:43:42.618 --> 00:43:44.704 Is that a meat kebab? 706 00:43:44.704 --> 00:43:46.650 - Yes, it's a meat kebab. 707 00:43:46.650 --> 00:43:47.855 I've been eating meat. 708 00:43:47.855 --> 00:43:50.258 Meat is yum, yum, yum, yum, yum, yum, yum, yum. 709 00:43:50.258 --> 00:43:51.520 it's not a crime. 710 00:43:51.520 --> 00:43:53.020 Ah, what the fuck? 711 00:43:53.886 --> 00:43:55.996 - I just threw this huge party for you. 712 00:43:55.996 --> 00:43:57.452 Now you've ruined everything. 713 00:43:57.452 --> 00:43:59.991 - Yeah, that kebab cost seven bucks. 714 00:43:59.991 --> 00:44:03.324 - I'll pay you back when I'm less angry. 715 00:44:06.348 --> 00:44:09.795 ♪ Matt, you ate a meat kebab ♪ 716 00:44:09.795 --> 00:44:13.131 ♪ Ruining the best friendship I've ever had ♪ 717 00:44:13.131 --> 00:44:15.638 ♪ I thought we were in this together ♪ 718 00:44:15.638 --> 00:44:19.222 ♪ Throwing up the vegan sign forever ♪ 719 00:44:19.222 --> 00:44:20.839 Maybe we could've had... 720 00:44:20.839 --> 00:44:23.306 ♪ Something more ♪ 721 00:44:23.306 --> 00:44:26.382 ♪ Something, something more ♪ 722 00:44:26.382 --> 00:44:29.664 ♪ I've been such a stupid fool ♪ 723 00:44:29.664 --> 00:44:32.879 ♪ She's just not that into me ♪ 724 00:44:32.879 --> 00:44:37.879 ♪ She didn't even notice my severe head injury ♪ 725 00:44:38.420 --> 00:44:40.707 - Ouch, and I just wanted... 726 00:44:40.707 --> 00:44:43.041 ♪ Something more ♪ 727 00:44:43.041 --> 00:44:45.043 ♪ Something, something more ♪ 728 00:44:45.043 --> 00:44:46.929 ♪ So what, I'm not vegan ♪ 729 00:44:46.929 --> 00:44:48.528 ♪ You're not vegan ♪ 730 00:44:48.528 --> 00:44:50.225 ♪ So we see things differently ♪ 731 00:44:50.225 --> 00:44:51.767 ♪ But we are what we eat ♪ 732 00:44:51.767 --> 00:44:53.069 ♪ Does this mean it's not meant to be ♪ 733 00:44:53.069 --> 00:44:54.867 ♪ I don't know what I'm feeling ♪ 734 00:44:54.867 --> 00:44:56.957 ♪ Can't you just accept me for me ♪ 735 00:44:56.957 --> 00:44:59.516 ♪ Did you lie about the celery ♪ 736 00:44:59.516 --> 00:45:01.811 - Maybe we could have had... 737 00:45:01.811 --> 00:45:04.243 ♪ Something more ♪ 738 00:45:04.243 --> 00:45:07.910 ♪ Something, something more ♪ 739 00:45:14.591 --> 00:45:17.235 ♪ When you throw your friends a party ♪ 740 00:45:17.235 --> 00:45:19.795 ♪ And they show up really late ♪ 741 00:45:19.795 --> 00:45:22.287 ♪ And they see the food you made them ♪ 742 00:45:22.287 --> 00:45:24.861 ♪ And they chuck up on their plate ♪ 743 00:45:24.861 --> 00:45:29.658 ♪ 'Cause they don't like your vegan food ♪ 744 00:45:29.658 --> 00:45:34.511 ♪ No, they don't like your vegan food ♪ 745 00:45:34.511 --> 00:45:38.850 ♪ They don't know that they're being rude ♪ 746 00:45:38.850 --> 00:45:40.405 ♪ When they tell you they personally can't stand ♪ 747 00:45:40.405 --> 00:45:41.631 ♪ What's (indistinct) ♪ 748 00:45:41.631 --> 00:45:43.090 ♪ But settle for hiding in your cat's litter box ♪ 749 00:45:43.090 --> 00:45:45.923 ♪ Your vegan food ♪ 750 00:45:55.379 --> 00:45:56.962 Hey, Sean, it's me. 751 00:45:58.495 --> 00:45:59.328 Hey, where are you? 752 00:45:59.328 --> 00:46:01.340 I thought that we were going to be rehearsing today. 753 00:46:01.340 --> 00:46:03.087 I'm kind of nervous. 754 00:46:03.087 --> 00:46:05.203 Anyway, please call me. 755 00:46:05.203 --> 00:46:07.924 (upbeat music) 756 00:46:07.924 --> 00:46:09.591 It's Immi the Vegan. 757 00:46:13.929 --> 00:46:16.363 Scanner, should I be worried? 758 00:46:16.363 --> 00:46:19.987 - [Machine] He's vegan, therefore entirely trustworthy. 759 00:46:19.987 --> 00:46:21.987 - That's what I thought. 760 00:46:23.360 --> 00:46:24.943 - [Machine] Danger. 761 00:46:26.608 --> 00:46:27.441 - Oh, no. 762 00:46:29.468 --> 00:46:32.217 ♪ Facing your monster ♪ 763 00:46:32.217 --> 00:46:35.920 ♪ Or your MEA sponsor ♪ 764 00:46:35.920 --> 00:46:38.749 ♪ It's only hallucination ♪ 765 00:46:38.749 --> 00:46:41.885 ♪ Unless you give into temptation ♪ 766 00:46:41.885 --> 00:46:44.607 ♪ Unless you give into temptation ♪ 767 00:46:44.607 --> 00:46:48.774 ♪ Unless you give into temptation ♪ 768 00:46:52.061 --> 00:46:55.144 - Okay, Matt, pull yourself together. 769 00:46:56.272 --> 00:47:00.591 Only eight hours in this dimly lit, poorly ventilated room 770 00:47:00.591 --> 00:47:03.178 with a vicious monster. 771 00:47:03.178 --> 00:47:04.605 Nobody likes their job. 772 00:47:04.605 --> 00:47:07.232 (creature clicking) 773 00:47:07.232 --> 00:47:10.065 Sean, what are you doing down here 774 00:47:11.023 --> 00:47:12.864 and who's on the front desk? 775 00:47:12.864 --> 00:47:15.614 (dramatic music) 776 00:47:16.893 --> 00:47:18.030 It's the monster. 777 00:47:18.030 --> 00:47:19.280 Sean, look out. 778 00:47:31.284 --> 00:47:33.951 (books banging) 779 00:47:42.744 --> 00:47:44.324 There's a monster in the basement 780 00:47:44.324 --> 00:47:45.866 and Sean's been feeding it. 781 00:47:45.866 --> 00:47:46.699 - Yes? 782 00:47:48.962 --> 00:47:51.795 - You knew about this? - Of course. 783 00:47:56.629 --> 00:47:58.242 - I quit. 784 00:47:58.242 --> 00:48:01.557 ♪ I still love you ♪ 785 00:48:01.557 --> 00:48:06.094 ♪ Always love you ♪ 786 00:48:06.094 --> 00:48:10.344 ♪ Though you don't know how I feel ♪ 787 00:48:12.059 --> 00:48:14.059 - Matt. - Immi the Vegan. 788 00:48:15.583 --> 00:48:18.378 - How are you? - I just quit my job. 789 00:48:18.378 --> 00:48:19.211 - How come? 790 00:48:19.211 --> 00:48:22.074 - There was a monster living in the basement. 791 00:48:22.074 --> 00:48:24.698 How's the music going? - I've got that gig tonight, 792 00:48:24.698 --> 00:48:29.615 you know, with Yo Yo Yo Yo Yo, but I just broke my ukulele. 793 00:48:31.753 --> 00:48:33.402 I'm not feeling very confident. 794 00:48:33.402 --> 00:48:36.138 - You'll be great, you always are. 795 00:48:36.138 --> 00:48:40.190 ♪ Impossible, impossible, impossible, impossible ♪ 796 00:48:40.190 --> 00:48:42.320 ♪ For us ♪ 797 00:48:42.320 --> 00:48:45.903 - Hey, Matt, it was really nice to see you. 798 00:48:47.453 --> 00:48:50.495 ♪ I still love you ♪ 799 00:48:50.495 --> 00:48:55.296 ♪ Always love you ♪ 800 00:48:55.296 --> 00:48:59.089 ♪ Though I've got to wonder why ♪ 801 00:48:59.089 --> 00:49:01.377 - I had a set back earlier today after I saw someone 802 00:49:01.377 --> 00:49:03.455 who's a real trigger for me. 803 00:49:03.455 --> 00:49:05.455 I binged on jelly beans. 804 00:49:07.905 --> 00:49:12.905 ♪ And I've tried to stop, I've tried ♪ 805 00:49:15.184 --> 00:49:20.184 ♪ Is it really toxic masculinity ♪ 806 00:49:23.707 --> 00:49:27.216 ♪ Just seems so impossible, impossible, impossible ♪ 807 00:49:27.216 --> 00:49:32.033 ♪ Impossible that you ♪ 808 00:49:32.033 --> 00:49:37.033 ♪ That you'd just not be into me ♪ 809 00:49:41.298 --> 00:49:46.298 ♪ Into me ♪ 810 00:49:47.410 --> 00:49:50.160 ♪ Be into me, oh ♪ 811 00:49:52.818 --> 00:49:53.651 - Sean. 812 00:49:55.858 --> 00:49:57.294 - I'll see you later, okay? 813 00:49:57.294 --> 00:49:58.127 See you later. 814 00:49:58.127 --> 00:50:00.214 - I've been looking all over for you. 815 00:50:00.214 --> 00:50:01.413 I thought we were rehearsing today? 816 00:50:01.413 --> 00:50:03.013 Didn't you get my messages? 817 00:50:03.013 --> 00:50:05.540 - No, my phone was off. 818 00:50:05.540 --> 00:50:06.957 - Oh, who's that? 819 00:50:09.764 --> 00:50:11.412 - That? 820 00:50:11.412 --> 00:50:13.251 No one, no one at all. 821 00:50:13.251 --> 00:50:17.168 Anyway, I am going to go inside to get a drink. 822 00:50:20.032 --> 00:50:20.865 - Celery. 823 00:50:22.130 --> 00:50:24.899 What's this? - It's just a snack. 824 00:50:24.899 --> 00:50:28.227 - There's lipstick on it. - What is this? 825 00:50:28.227 --> 00:50:29.831 The celery inquisition? 826 00:50:29.831 --> 00:50:31.732 - You've been sharing your celery with another woman, 827 00:50:31.732 --> 00:50:32.732 haven't you? 828 00:50:33.921 --> 00:50:36.563 - You're starting to become a real drag, Immi. 829 00:50:36.563 --> 00:50:37.873 You know what? 830 00:50:37.873 --> 00:50:40.029 I don't think we've got room for you on the bill tonight 831 00:50:40.029 --> 00:50:41.105 after all. 832 00:50:41.105 --> 00:50:43.408 Why don't you just go home? 833 00:50:43.408 --> 00:50:46.289 - But I've been practicing for weeks. 834 00:50:46.289 --> 00:50:49.206 - And you didn't even get any good. 835 00:50:51.827 --> 00:50:54.410 (upbeat music) 836 00:50:58.686 --> 00:51:00.826 ♪ Celery ♪ 837 00:51:00.826 --> 00:51:05.826 ♪ Chewing on you works off calories ♪ 838 00:51:06.249 --> 00:51:08.311 ♪ And can't you see ♪ 839 00:51:08.311 --> 00:51:13.311 ♪ That (indistinct) an allegory ♪ 840 00:51:15.642 --> 00:51:16.642 - Thank you. 841 00:51:19.460 --> 00:51:22.635 - (sighing) Matt. 842 00:51:22.635 --> 00:51:25.771 - What's wrong? - I'm not playing. 843 00:51:25.771 --> 00:51:27.760 - Oh, no, it's okay, I've got you a new ukulele. 844 00:51:27.760 --> 00:51:28.593 See? 845 00:51:30.120 --> 00:51:34.620 - That's really sweet but obviously I already got one. 846 00:51:35.543 --> 00:51:38.423 - I already threw away the receipt. 847 00:51:38.423 --> 00:51:40.966 - Sean doesn't want me to play. 848 00:51:40.966 --> 00:51:42.633 He says I'm no good. 849 00:51:45.384 --> 00:51:48.616 - I'd like to check in my ukulele please. 850 00:51:48.616 --> 00:51:51.449 (energetic music) 851 00:51:58.487 --> 00:52:02.058 ♪ My sad, sad song ♪ 852 00:52:02.058 --> 00:52:06.103 ♪ I'm a fool, I knew it all along ♪ 853 00:52:06.103 --> 00:52:09.751 ♪ For a moment, I thought that I could ♪ 854 00:52:09.751 --> 00:52:13.528 ♪ But I didn't even get any good ♪ 855 00:52:13.528 --> 00:52:16.028 (Immi crying) 856 00:52:35.006 --> 00:52:38.006 (audience cheering) 857 00:52:45.515 --> 00:52:46.352 - Sorry, everyone, 858 00:52:46.352 --> 00:52:49.632 but the opening act tonight has pulled out. 859 00:52:49.632 --> 00:52:51.550 (audience booing) 860 00:52:51.550 --> 00:52:54.512 Yeah, yeah, very unprofessional, I know, 861 00:52:54.512 --> 00:52:57.106 but I can assure you that they will not be opening 862 00:52:57.106 --> 00:52:59.189 for Yo Yo Yo Yo Yo again. 863 00:53:00.190 --> 00:53:05.190 - [Audience] Yo Yo Yo Yo Yo, Yo Yo Yo Yo Yo, Yo Yo Yo Yo Yo. 864 00:53:06.241 --> 00:53:09.662 - So naturally there's been a slight change of plans, 865 00:53:09.662 --> 00:53:13.162 but I can assure you everything is still-- 866 00:53:14.912 --> 00:53:18.672 - No, no, no, no, no, Sean has been misinformed. 867 00:53:18.672 --> 00:53:21.291 The opening act is here and ready to rock. 868 00:53:21.291 --> 00:53:24.124 (audience booing) 869 00:53:27.097 --> 00:53:29.359 - [Audience] Fight, fight, fight, fight, fight, fight, 870 00:53:29.359 --> 00:53:32.216 fight, fight, fight, fight, fight, fight, fight, fight 871 00:53:32.216 --> 00:53:34.961 fight, fight, fight, fight, fight, fight, fight, 872 00:53:34.961 --> 00:53:36.044 fight, fight. 873 00:53:37.057 --> 00:53:37.954 - My eye. 874 00:53:37.954 --> 00:53:42.482 What have you done to me? (screaming) 875 00:53:42.482 --> 00:53:44.300 - You can do it, Immi the Vegan. 876 00:53:44.300 --> 00:53:45.717 Visit me in jail. 877 00:53:47.235 --> 00:53:48.068 Visit me. 878 00:53:55.057 --> 00:53:58.307 (microphone squealing) 879 00:54:00.886 --> 00:54:04.433 - Hi, everyone, I'm Immi the Vegan. 880 00:54:04.433 --> 00:54:07.266 (audience booing) 881 00:54:10.656 --> 00:54:12.739 I'm here to play my song. 882 00:54:13.666 --> 00:54:16.416 It's called "Vegan Love Forever". 883 00:54:22.995 --> 00:54:27.361 ♪ On Monday, I searched for love ♪ 884 00:54:27.361 --> 00:54:31.679 ♪ In a shop, down a supermarket aisle ♪ 885 00:54:31.679 --> 00:54:35.648 ♪ On Tuesday, I was in a rush ♪ 886 00:54:35.648 --> 00:54:37.875 ♪ Wednesday, I gave up ♪ 887 00:54:37.875 --> 00:54:40.000 ♪ Thursday, I had tonsillitis ♪ 888 00:54:40.000 --> 00:54:45.000 ♪ All those stories tell you that true love is there to find ♪ 889 00:54:48.320 --> 00:54:52.466 ♪ I just wanna happy ending ♪ 890 00:54:52.466 --> 00:54:56.580 ♪ Vegan love forever ♪ 891 00:54:56.580 --> 00:55:00.721 ♪ Friday, I met a guy ♪ 892 00:55:00.721 --> 00:55:02.581 ♪ Who plays guitar ♪ 893 00:55:02.581 --> 00:55:04.895 ♪ His dancing makes me smile ♪ 894 00:55:04.895 --> 00:55:08.273 ♪ Saturday, he didn't call ♪ 895 00:55:08.273 --> 00:55:11.191 ♪ And that's not all ♪ 896 00:55:11.191 --> 00:55:13.350 ♪ Turns out he has reptile blood ♪ 897 00:55:13.350 --> 00:55:15.054 ♪ All those stories ♪ 898 00:55:15.054 --> 00:55:17.305 - No, don't, don't, don't, don't touch it. 899 00:55:17.305 --> 00:55:21.461 ♪ True love is there to find ♪ 900 00:55:21.461 --> 00:55:25.767 ♪ I just wanna happy fucking ending ♪ 901 00:55:25.767 --> 00:55:30.767 ♪ With what, who, how, ever ♪ 902 00:55:30.846 --> 00:55:34.443 ♪ It's Sunday ♪ 903 00:55:34.443 --> 00:55:37.017 ♪ It's Sunday with you ♪ 904 00:55:37.017 --> 00:55:40.362 ♪ Oh, it's Sunday ♪ 905 00:55:40.362 --> 00:55:41.979 ♪ It's Sunday ♪ 906 00:55:41.979 --> 00:55:44.441 ♪ It's Sunday ♪ 907 00:55:44.441 --> 00:55:49.441 ♪ I didn't see you before but then you were there ♪ 908 00:55:49.908 --> 00:55:52.908 (audience clapping) 909 00:56:01.718 --> 00:56:03.166 - I guess you guys aren't ready for that yet, 910 00:56:03.166 --> 00:56:06.333 but your vegan kids are gonna love it. 911 00:56:12.544 --> 00:56:15.294 (relaxing music) 912 00:56:22.990 --> 00:56:25.657 (door knocking) 913 00:56:28.187 --> 00:56:29.803 - Hi. - Hey. 914 00:56:29.803 --> 00:56:31.725 - Just wanted to check you were out of jail. 915 00:56:31.725 --> 00:56:34.642 - No, my court hearing's on Monday. 916 00:56:38.159 --> 00:56:40.300 I hope Sean regains vision in that eye, 917 00:56:40.300 --> 00:56:44.967 'cause that looked a lot more serious than I'd intended. 918 00:56:45.886 --> 00:56:47.997 - I'm sorry, Matt. 919 00:56:47.997 --> 00:56:50.895 - It's okay. - No, it's not. 920 00:56:50.895 --> 00:56:52.495 I meant to call you and I didn't. 921 00:56:52.495 --> 00:56:55.271 I came on really strong about that vegan stuff. 922 00:56:55.271 --> 00:56:57.498 I was just super excited, 923 00:56:57.498 --> 00:57:00.050 and you were totally right about Sean. 924 00:57:00.050 --> 00:57:02.283 I took you for granted. 925 00:57:02.283 --> 00:57:04.545 You've always been there for me. 926 00:57:04.545 --> 00:57:06.128 Are you okay? - Yup. 927 00:57:07.472 --> 00:57:11.807 - I realize now that veganism hasn't come that easy to you, 928 00:57:11.807 --> 00:57:13.394 but I really appreciate the effort. 929 00:57:13.394 --> 00:57:15.279 - Well, I've ditched dairy though 930 00:57:15.279 --> 00:57:17.132 and I'm still going to my Meat Eaters Anonymous meetings, 931 00:57:17.132 --> 00:57:20.188 so that's got to give me some brownie points, right? 932 00:57:20.188 --> 00:57:21.771 Are brownies vegan? 933 00:57:25.308 --> 00:57:26.891 What are you doing? 934 00:57:28.316 --> 00:57:29.149 - What? 935 00:57:30.566 --> 00:57:33.533 I thought that's where the moment was leading to, 936 00:57:33.533 --> 00:57:35.949 the classic rom-com scenario? 937 00:57:35.949 --> 00:57:39.371 - No, you put me through hell and now you think 938 00:57:39.371 --> 00:57:41.948 because you make one kind of half-assed apology 939 00:57:41.948 --> 00:57:45.448 right towards the end, that that makes everything okay? 940 00:57:45.448 --> 00:57:48.531 I think I need to be alone right now. 941 00:57:49.662 --> 00:57:51.902 (door banging) 942 00:57:51.902 --> 00:57:54.735 (emotional music) 943 00:58:10.782 --> 00:58:13.918 ♪ Oh, what's happening here ♪ 944 00:58:13.918 --> 00:58:16.828 ♪ You were so desperate, but now you're cavalier ♪ 945 00:58:16.828 --> 00:58:19.981 ♪ These are mixed messages you're sending ♪ 946 00:58:19.981 --> 00:58:23.275 ♪ It's such an unsatisfying ending ♪ 947 00:58:23.275 --> 00:58:26.620 ♪ I just have to walk away ♪ 948 00:58:26.620 --> 00:58:29.645 ♪ I've had a shitter of a day ♪ 949 00:58:29.645 --> 00:58:33.835 ♪ And I'm not just some actor in your play ♪ 950 00:58:33.835 --> 00:58:35.598 ♪ That just ain't it ♪ 951 00:58:35.598 --> 00:58:40.176 ♪ Chief, let's kill that motif ♪ 952 00:58:40.176 --> 00:58:43.022 ♪ Right now, the storyline is pending ♪ 953 00:58:43.022 --> 00:58:48.022 ♪ We'll cut to a Marvel-style post credit ending ♪ 954 00:58:52.859 --> 00:58:57.678 - Now, we all hoped he was never coming back, but, well, 955 00:58:57.678 --> 00:58:59.095 here he is, Matt. 956 00:59:00.320 --> 00:59:03.320 (audience clapping) 957 00:59:08.384 --> 00:59:10.166 This poem's called Immi the Vegan, 958 00:59:10.166 --> 00:59:12.499 dedicated to Immi the Vegan. 959 00:59:14.352 --> 00:59:18.624 The story so far is of a story just begun. 960 00:59:18.624 --> 00:59:23.111 There was a battle inside me, but now it has been won, 961 00:59:23.111 --> 00:59:25.174 and I wonder what will happen now, 962 00:59:25.174 --> 00:59:28.118 trekking forward into unknown territory. 963 00:59:28.118 --> 00:59:31.868 A truce, a treaty, or perhaps something more, 964 00:59:33.620 --> 00:59:35.554 something more. 965 00:59:35.554 --> 00:59:38.221 (Sean clicking) 966 00:59:39.988 --> 00:59:41.962 (audience clicking) 967 00:59:41.962 --> 00:59:43.228 - What are you all doing? 968 00:59:43.228 --> 00:59:44.811 God, stop clicking. 969 00:59:47.183 --> 00:59:48.126 How's this even a thing? 970 00:59:48.126 --> 00:59:50.044 It doesn't even make sense. 971 00:59:50.044 --> 00:59:54.028 Stop being such dicks and let him finish his poem. 972 00:59:54.028 --> 00:59:58.361 It's about me, after all, the whole story, about me, 973 01:00:01.678 --> 01:00:05.516 even the parts in the library, which I never visited. 974 01:00:05.516 --> 01:00:08.190 I hear there was a monster. 975 01:00:08.190 --> 01:00:10.349 It's probably in the poem. 976 01:00:10.349 --> 01:00:11.536 It's about me. 977 01:00:11.536 --> 01:00:14.286 (relaxing music) 978 01:00:33.753 --> 01:00:35.358 What are you still doing here? 979 01:00:35.358 --> 01:00:36.191 It's over. 980 01:00:38.635 --> 01:00:39.802 Close the app. 981 01:00:40.781 --> 01:00:43.644 We already had a post credit scene, remember? 982 01:00:43.644 --> 01:00:46.282 I looked at the camera, I smiled. 983 01:00:46.282 --> 01:00:47.699 That was the end. 984 01:00:49.267 --> 01:00:51.756 Oh, would you like some more? 985 01:00:51.756 --> 01:00:54.879 I do have some pretty good stories about tofu. 986 01:00:54.879 --> 01:00:56.907 Come on, I'll tell you all about it. 987 01:00:56.907 --> 01:00:59.657 Come on, come on, tofu, come on.