WEBVTT FILE

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Downloaded from
YTS.MX

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[audience cheering]

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Official YIFY movies site:
YTS.MX

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Whoa, what's up, Oakland?

5
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Please, please, please.

6
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Thank you.

7
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Oh.

8
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[audience cheering]

9
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This is exciting.

10
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[man] Yeah!

11
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Thank you so much.
Thank you for coming to this.

12
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And I really appreciate it.

13
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This is gonna be fun.
I had to do this special in Oakland.

14
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[audience cheering]

15
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Oakland is one
of my favorite cities in the world.

16
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-It's like-- It is. It is.
-[audience cheering]

17
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It's a very unique city.

18
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It's the one place where you can get
stock tips from a pimp.

19
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[audience laughing]

20
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The whole bay is dope.

21
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I didn't wanna tape in San Francisco.

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[audience laughing, then cheering]

23
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Nothing against San Francisco,
just a little too whimsy for me.

24
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[audience laughing]

25
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You know what I mean? It's just too--
There's just too much hope.

26
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[audience laughing]

27
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I didn't think my jokes
would do well there.

28
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[audience laughing]

29
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When a parent says,
"You can be anything you wanna be,"

30
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I feel like that sentence should end with,
"In San Francisco."

31
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[audience laughing]

32
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You wanna open a bakery,
but you only make cupcakes?

33
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You can be anything you wanna be...

34
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in San Francisco.

35
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[audience laughing]

36
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You wanna smoke crack
in front of the library?

37
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[audience laughing]

38
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Oh, you know that guy?

39
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[audience laughing]

40
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There's so much to talk about. This is
my first special in five years. I--

41
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[audience cheering]

42
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I got so much on my mind, man.

43
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You ever see a homeless guy with a dick
so big, you stop feeling sorry for him?

44
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[audience laughing]

45
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You could be whatever you wanna be...

46
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[audience laughing]

47
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...in San Francisco.

48
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[Che laughing]

49
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I saw that recently.
I did see a homeless guy--

50
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Uh, a gentleman.
I don't know what you call him, but...

51
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[audience laughing]

52
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His dick was so big that I started to
think maybe that's why he was homeless.

53
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[audience laughing]

54
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Maybe he went through life
with too much confidence.

55
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[audience laughing]

56
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People warned him, "Get a better job
or you'll lose everything."

57
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He's like, "Job? I don't need money.

58
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I got a big-ass dick. I'll be fine.

59
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Just whip this shit out in CVS.

60
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[audience laughing]

61
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See where it takes me."

62
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[audience laughing]

63
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That sounds like just
a gross dick joke, but, you know...

64
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[audience laughing]

65
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Maybe it's insight into the fragile
male ego. Okay, now it's smart.

66
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It's true. A gainfully employed man
can see a homeless guy with a giant penis

67
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and be like, "Lucky motherfucker."

68
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[audience laughing]

69
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"Some dudes just get
all the breaks, I guess."

70
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[audience laughing]

71
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I don't know why men are so obsessed
with their dicks. It's funny.

72
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Every man here knows
what I'm talking about.

73
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Every dude here has measured his dick,
and I don't mean just with a ruler.

74
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Anything that could be
the shape of a dick.

75
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[audience laughing]

76
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Hairbrush, shampoo bottle.

77
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Ladies, if you go in the bathroom
and see the remote control in there.

78
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You're like, "Why is the remote in here?"

79
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[audience laughing, applauding]

80
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'Cause we gotta get scale.

81
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[audience laughing]

82
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Women don't measure their genitals.

83
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Either because you're smarter
or you haven't figured out how yet.

84
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[audience laughing]

85
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What would you do? Fill it
with water and stand over a bucket?

86
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[audience laughing]

87
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[audience applauding]

88
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-"I got two cups of pussy." Ew.
-[audience laughing]

89
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[Che laughing]

90
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"Two cups of pussy" sounds like
a Megan Thee Stallion song.

91
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[audience laughing, then cheering]

92
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Two cups of pussy.

93
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I like Megan Thee Stallion, but...
I did not understand "WAP."

94
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Like, wet-ass pussy?
All the time? For real?

95
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You got, like, a condition?

96
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"That's right.
My pussy's wet all the time.

97
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Funerals, birthday parties.

98
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[audience laughing]

99
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Court."

100
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[audience laughing]

101
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Men are obsessed with their dicks.

102
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I've been trying to figure that shit out
my entire life. Why?

103
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It's not because women like them.
We'd prefer if you didn't like it.

104
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[audience laughing]

105
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You don't believe me? Go home.
Go home. Tell your boyfriend one day.

106
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If you're watching this at home,
go to your boyfriend and say, "I'm leaving

107
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'cause your dick is way too big.

108
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[audience laughing]

109
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I hate having sex with you.

110
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I need a much smaller man."

111
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He's gonna smile and say,
"You gotta do what you gotta do.

112
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[audience laughing]

113
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This ain't going to ever change."

114
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I think men know
that women like big dicks,

115
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but we just don't know how big is too big.

116
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So we think the number's infinity.

117
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[audience laughing]

118
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It can't be infinity.
At some point, it's too much, right?

119
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At some point, you're standing in front
of a vending machine with a $100 bill.

120
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[audience chuckling]

121
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They're like,
"It's nice, but it ain't going in.

122
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[audience laughing]

123
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I sure wish I had a five on me now."

124
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[audience laughing]

125
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This is weird, seeing you in your masks,
but this audience is fully vaxed.

126
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Uh, I don't really--

127
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[audience cheering]

128
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I don't have a strong stance
on whether you wanna be vaxed.

129
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I asked for it to be fully vaxed
because I wanted the audience

130
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to understand my jokes.

131
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[audience laughing]

132
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[audience cheering]

133
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That doesn't make sense. I just talked
for 15 minutes about homeless-guy dicks.

134
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[audience laughing]

135
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I'm pandering.

136
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I'm with you, though, I wear my mask.

137
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If I wasn't performing, I'd have mine on.

138
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I started wearing mine when they said,
"We don't need masks anymore."

139
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I was like, "I want my mask."

140
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[audience laughing]

141
00:09:04.335 --> 00:09:08.214
Remember? "We don't need masks
this summer." I was like, "Uh, no, we do."

142
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[audience laughing]

143
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I'm serious.

144
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When they first said
we needed those masks,

145
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I was like, "Fuck the mask.
That mask can't work."

146
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Then they're like, "We don't need masks."
"I want my mask."

147
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[audience laughing]

148
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It's like when a girl says "You don't
need a condom." "I need two condoms."

149
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[audience laughing]

150
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"I never wanted a condom more
until you said that nasty shit."

151
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That's right. You better be vaccinated
if you wanna come to my show.

152
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You got to be vaccinated.
Get one of the three--

153
00:09:47.837 --> 00:09:48.921
[audience cheering]

154
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Everybody's gotta be vaccinated,
or, you know, get one of them cards.

155
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[audience laughing]

156
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That's the rule. Get vaccinated,
or, you know, a card.

157
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Just some card stock in a printer.

158
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Anything will do. We're not looking.
Don't laminate it. Doesn't matter.

159
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[audience chuckling]

160
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That's our defense.

161
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I'm trying to get my mother
to get the vaccine. She's scared.

162
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Well, it's not her fault. Her neighbor got
the vaccine, and he died three days later.

163
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He got hit by a truck.

164
00:10:30.963 --> 00:10:32.256
[audience laughing]

165
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She thinks the vaccine is unlucky.

166
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[audience laughing]

167
00:10:40.264 --> 00:10:43.100
I got the vaccine,
but I'm still skeptical. I don't know.

168
00:10:43.809 --> 00:10:46.687
Is anybody skeptical?
Does anybody feel safer?

169
00:10:46.771 --> 00:10:48.064
[audience cheering]

170
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They make us feel stupid for being
skeptical. I took it, but I don't know.

171
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You know why I was skeptical?
Because the vaccine was free.

172
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[audience laughing]

173
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I was like, I don't know about that shit.

174
00:11:03.245 --> 00:11:06.290
Free medicine in America? Uh...

175
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Since when?

176
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[audience cheering]

177
00:11:16.175 --> 00:11:19.261
If the vaccine was $3000, I'd be like,
"That sounds right.

178
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They trying to keep
rich niggas alive. I get it."

179
00:11:22.932 --> 00:11:26.519
But free? That just sounds like a setup.

180
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[audience laughing]

181
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I grew up in public housing, you know...

182
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I remember what the government gives you
for free. It's not usually their best.

183
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I don't know
if you've tasted their cheese.

184
00:11:40.533 --> 00:11:41.534
[audience laughing]

185
00:11:42.535 --> 00:11:45.246
I wouldn't trust them with vaccines
after that.

186
00:11:45.329 --> 00:11:46.330
[audience laughing]

187
00:11:46.414 --> 00:11:51.544
I asked my doctor. I want the vaccine,
but give me the one that costs some money.

188
00:11:51.627 --> 00:11:53.003
[audience laughing]

189
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He was like, "What?" I was like,
"Give me the fucking... The real one.

190
00:12:00.261 --> 00:12:01.387
[audience laughing]

191
00:12:03.222 --> 00:12:05.099
I don't want that free shit.

192
00:12:05.933 --> 00:12:07.768
Give me the $3000 one."

193
00:12:09.437 --> 00:12:13.357
He was like, "They're all the same." Okay,
but which one are you gonna give Rihanna?

194
00:12:13.441 --> 00:12:14.442
[audience laughing]

195
00:12:15.526 --> 00:12:16.569
She's important.

196
00:12:19.905 --> 00:12:23.284
You tell me to trust science.
I don't know science.

197
00:12:23.367 --> 00:12:24.827
[audience laughing]

198
00:12:24.910 --> 00:12:26.036
I trust history.

199
00:12:27.329 --> 00:12:31.041
History says, if this was any good,
you'd be charging us for it.

200
00:12:31.125 --> 00:12:32.376
[audience laughing]

201
00:12:35.129 --> 00:12:38.257
I took that COVID serious.
I stayed in for the first three months.

202
00:12:38.340 --> 00:12:41.594
I didn't go nowhere.
I didn't protest. I didn't even loot.

203
00:12:41.677 --> 00:12:43.012
[audience laughing]

204
00:12:46.765 --> 00:12:49.768
I really needed some shit too.
I didn't loot.

205
00:12:49.852 --> 00:12:52.563
I wanted to be a part of that.
I did not loot.

206
00:12:53.147 --> 00:12:56.400
It's embarrassing!
I gotta tell my grandkids about that.

207
00:12:56.484 --> 00:13:00.279
Greatest time to be alive as a Black man,
I didn't get in on it.

208
00:13:00.362 --> 00:13:01.572
[audience laughing]

209
00:13:01.655 --> 00:13:04.617
Imagine asking your grandpa,
"What was it like marching in Selma?"

210
00:13:04.700 --> 00:13:07.620
He's like, "There was a nasty flu
that summer, so...

211
00:13:07.703 --> 00:13:08.913
[audience laughing]

212
00:13:08.996 --> 00:13:11.665
I stayed home because of germs."

213
00:13:11.749 --> 00:13:12.875
[audience laughing]

214
00:13:13.709 --> 00:13:16.420
"My grandfather
was a bitch-ass nigga, man."

215
00:13:16.504 --> 00:13:17.588
[audience laughing]

216
00:13:18.964 --> 00:13:20.216
Fucking coon.

217
00:13:22.760 --> 00:13:25.804
I had to watch
all the looting and protesting on TV.

218
00:13:26.472 --> 00:13:30.392
It was dope too.
I've never been prouder to be a Black man.

219
00:13:30.476 --> 00:13:34.104
I'm serious. Watching Black people
come together and tear shit up?

220
00:13:34.188 --> 00:13:36.732
That shit was a sight to see. I was proud.

221
00:13:36.815 --> 00:13:38.108
[audience cheering]

222
00:13:41.362 --> 00:13:44.698
I was calling all my white friends,
"Colin, you know what it is." Hanging up.

223
00:13:44.782 --> 00:13:46.116
[audience laughing]

224
00:13:47.368 --> 00:13:49.411
I was showing off. I was excited.

225
00:13:54.416 --> 00:13:59.838
I was so excited. I was so proud.
Up until January 6th.

226
00:13:59.922 --> 00:14:00.965
[audience booing]

227
00:14:01.048 --> 00:14:02.716
When they stormed that Capitol.

228
00:14:03.217 --> 00:14:05.678
And I saw how real niggas loot.

229
00:14:05.761 --> 00:14:06.887
[audience laughing]

230
00:14:09.181 --> 00:14:13.310
-That was impressive! Holy shit!
-[audience cheering]

231
00:14:16.522 --> 00:14:20.442
Say what you will, but that was
some good fucking looting, goddamn.

232
00:14:20.985 --> 00:14:24.238
Black people did okay.
We were stealing, like, from Target.

233
00:14:25.447 --> 00:14:26.615
We got Gucci belts.

234
00:14:26.699 --> 00:14:29.618
The motherfuckers tried to steal
the Constitution

235
00:14:29.702 --> 00:14:32.079
of the United States of America.

236
00:14:32.162 --> 00:14:33.914
[audience cheering]

237
00:14:33.998 --> 00:14:36.292
I didn't know that was up for grabs.

238
00:14:36.375 --> 00:14:37.626
[audience laughing]

239
00:14:37.710 --> 00:14:41.213
I was watching that on TV, like,
"Fuck, let's get another go!"

240
00:14:42.548 --> 00:14:45.384
Like watching Supermarket Sweep,
they go for the caviar.

241
00:14:45.467 --> 00:14:48.095
You're like, "Oh, this nigga-- a genius."

242
00:14:51.265 --> 00:14:55.811
All types of racist white groups
I'd never heard of.

243
00:14:55.895 --> 00:14:59.773
I was watching that. "The Proud Boys
are coming." The Proud Boys?

244
00:15:00.691 --> 00:15:03.110
"The Boogaloo Niggas."
Who are the Boogaloo Niggas?

245
00:15:03.193 --> 00:15:04.445
[audience laughing]

246
00:15:06.322 --> 00:15:10.534
Why are they dressed like Vikings?
What happened to sheets?

247
00:15:10.618 --> 00:15:11.660
[audience laughing]

248
00:15:12.202 --> 00:15:14.872
Y'all too good for sheets now?
You're Vikings?

249
00:15:19.919 --> 00:15:21.670
I was embarrassed, dude.

250
00:15:23.881 --> 00:15:26.717
I was like, "Fuck that.
I gotta start protesting.

251
00:15:28.135 --> 00:15:30.262
We're not as far ahead as I thought."

252
00:15:31.805 --> 00:15:35.643
I went to a Black Lives Matter rally
right after that to support.

253
00:15:35.726 --> 00:15:37.519
But I must have gone too late.

254
00:15:38.938 --> 00:15:40.689
It was all white women there.

255
00:15:40.773 --> 00:15:42.566
[audience laughing, then cheering]

256
00:15:45.778 --> 00:15:47.821
Holy shit. You ever...

257
00:15:48.614 --> 00:15:51.492
You ever end up at a whites-only
Black Lives Matter rally?

258
00:15:51.575 --> 00:15:53.118
That shit is confusing.

259
00:15:54.119 --> 00:15:56.080
You gotta prepare for that shit.

260
00:15:58.082 --> 00:16:00.250
They had signs. "Stop racism!"

261
00:16:00.334 --> 00:16:02.127
I'm like, who are you talking to?

262
00:16:02.211 --> 00:16:03.295
[audience laughing]

263
00:16:03.379 --> 00:16:04.213
Each other?

264
00:16:06.632 --> 00:16:08.050
Just call your fucking dad!

265
00:16:08.133 --> 00:16:09.301
[audience laughing]

266
00:16:11.553 --> 00:16:12.638
[audience cheering]

267
00:16:16.600 --> 00:16:18.102
That shit was crazy.

268
00:16:19.436 --> 00:16:22.648
I saw a white lady with a sign that said,
"Fuck the police."

269
00:16:22.731 --> 00:16:24.066
[audience laughing]

270
00:16:24.149 --> 00:16:26.193
I wanted to rob her on principle.

271
00:16:26.276 --> 00:16:27.444
[audience laughing]

272
00:16:29.279 --> 00:16:31.281
Just to see how committed she was.

273
00:16:31.365 --> 00:16:32.366
[audience laughing]

274
00:16:35.661 --> 00:16:37.413
"Fuck the police."

275
00:16:48.340 --> 00:16:51.135
It wasn't all bad. We got some good shit.

276
00:16:51.218 --> 00:16:53.595
Black people got some good shit
out of them protests.

277
00:16:53.679 --> 00:16:54.680
What we get?

278
00:16:55.639 --> 00:16:59.143
What we got? We got Aunt Jemima fired.

279
00:17:02.354 --> 00:17:03.397
I'll take it.

280
00:17:03.480 --> 00:17:06.734
I don't know how high
that was on the docket but, sure.

281
00:17:07.651 --> 00:17:09.194
It's about time, I guess.

282
00:17:10.404 --> 00:17:12.698
Some liberated pancakes.

283
00:17:16.326 --> 00:17:19.621
What else we get?
We got Juneteenth. Oh, yeah.

284
00:17:19.705 --> 00:17:24.168
That fucking holiday we didn't definitely
just find out about two years ago.

285
00:17:25.544 --> 00:17:26.879
You know.

286
00:17:27.504 --> 00:17:28.338
Juneteenth.

287
00:17:28.422 --> 00:17:33.552
The thing we definitely didn't just see
one TikTok video about and now we want it.

288
00:17:35.512 --> 00:17:38.265
We need a new fucking negotiator,
Black people.

289
00:17:39.183 --> 00:17:40.059
It's frustrating.

290
00:17:40.142 --> 00:17:42.644
Like watching the Knicks
in the off-season.

291
00:17:43.562 --> 00:17:47.149
Juneteenth? Who wanted that shit?
I thought we were getting Durant.

292
00:17:55.449 --> 00:17:57.076
Where the fuck is Kyrie?

293
00:17:59.328 --> 00:18:00.662
And I like Juneteenth.

294
00:18:00.746 --> 00:18:05.000
It's just not as fun now
that white people get to celebrate it too.

295
00:18:06.585 --> 00:18:09.254
It's your fault!
You shouldn't get the day off!

296
00:18:09.338 --> 00:18:11.632
[audience laughing]

297
00:18:13.342 --> 00:18:15.344
[audience cheering]

298
00:18:18.889 --> 00:18:21.934
It's like celebrating the day
you stop hitting your wife.

299
00:18:22.017 --> 00:18:24.061
[audience laughing]

300
00:18:25.687 --> 00:18:30.067
This would be so much better
if we had Black leadership.

301
00:18:30.150 --> 00:18:31.902
Real Black leadership.

302
00:18:31.985 --> 00:18:33.904
All our Black leaders is just...

303
00:18:34.863 --> 00:18:37.032
celebrities and niggas on Twitter.

304
00:18:37.116 --> 00:18:38.325
[audience chuckling]

305
00:18:41.036 --> 00:18:44.540
You a celebrity or nigga from Twitter,
people think you a Black leader.

306
00:18:44.623 --> 00:18:47.417
I have kids that come up to me,
"I get all my news from you."

307
00:18:47.501 --> 00:18:49.086
I'm like, "You don't know shit."

308
00:18:49.169 --> 00:18:50.379
[audience laughing]

309
00:18:52.381 --> 00:18:55.467
I'm not doing news. I'm telling jokes.

310
00:18:57.761 --> 00:19:00.264
I'm not saying you shouldn't use
your platform for good,

311
00:19:00.347 --> 00:19:04.768
but I'm just saying celebrities
are too busy to be actual Black leaders.

312
00:19:04.852 --> 00:19:08.063
We need motherfuckers
that can do this shit full-time.

313
00:19:09.731 --> 00:19:12.442
You know why Martin Luther King
got so much work done?

314
00:19:12.526 --> 00:19:15.487
'Cause he wasn't also small forward
for the Lakers.

315
00:19:15.571 --> 00:19:18.282
[audience laughing, applauding]

316
00:19:24.204 --> 00:19:26.874
Too many small forwards
leading these marches.

317
00:19:31.295 --> 00:19:33.005
That's why we don't got shit.

318
00:19:33.088 --> 00:19:36.925
Everybody's getting shit but us
'cause everybody got leadership except us.

319
00:19:37.009 --> 00:19:42.055
Asians got a hate-crime bill.
I don't remember their riot, but I'm glad.

320
00:19:42.139 --> 00:19:43.432
[audience laughing]

321
00:19:45.350 --> 00:19:46.560
[man] Talk about it.

322
00:19:46.643 --> 00:19:47.728
Am I bullshitting?

323
00:19:47.811 --> 00:19:48.770
[man] You're not.

324
00:19:48.854 --> 00:19:51.440
-I was happy they got one too.
-[man] Me too.

325
00:19:52.316 --> 00:19:57.362
Asians and Blacks, we get along great.
We have a beautiful relationship.

326
00:19:57.446 --> 00:19:58.822
[audience cheering]

327
00:20:03.035 --> 00:20:06.163
I love the Chinese. Chinese people
brought broccoli to the 'hood.

328
00:20:06.246 --> 00:20:07.372
[audience laughing]

329
00:20:10.959 --> 00:20:14.087
There was no broccoli in the ghetto
before Chinese people got there.

330
00:20:14.171 --> 00:20:15.881
Don't you fucking start lying.

331
00:20:15.964 --> 00:20:17.216
[audience laughing]

332
00:20:19.593 --> 00:20:22.346
I didn't know what that was called.
Used to call it "little trees."

333
00:20:22.429 --> 00:20:23.513
[audience laughing]

334
00:20:24.765 --> 00:20:26.975
"Let me get an order
of beef and little trees."

335
00:20:29.436 --> 00:20:31.813
Black people are very thankful for that.

336
00:20:32.898 --> 00:20:36.652
Yeah, thank you.
I don't know how much we can thank you.

337
00:20:37.527 --> 00:20:40.572
Why do you think there are so many
Black girls named China, Asia...?

338
00:20:40.656 --> 00:20:42.199
[audience laughing]

339
00:20:43.909 --> 00:20:46.828
We love you niggas.
For the broccoli, thank you.

340
00:20:46.912 --> 00:20:49.539
[audience laughing, applauding]

341
00:20:52.334 --> 00:20:55.462
I challenge you
to find one Black neighborhood

342
00:20:55.545 --> 00:20:58.548
without at least
37 thriving Chinese businesses.

343
00:20:59.675 --> 00:21:01.468
Not just Chinese. Everybody.

344
00:21:01.551 --> 00:21:05.264
Everybody comes to a Black neighborhood
to open up their business. We know that.

345
00:21:05.347 --> 00:21:08.100
Black people are like
the first boss in a video game.

346
00:21:08.183 --> 00:21:09.351
[audience laughing]

347
00:21:10.435 --> 00:21:14.022
"You want the American dream,
open up your store here first.

348
00:21:14.606 --> 00:21:16.817
See what them chicken wings hit like."

349
00:21:16.900 --> 00:21:18.110
[audience laughing]

350
00:21:22.072 --> 00:21:25.575
And we don't mind it because
at least you sell shit we like.

351
00:21:26.368 --> 00:21:29.454
Chicken wings, ponytails,
wave grease, do-rags.

352
00:21:29.538 --> 00:21:30.622
[audience laughing]

353
00:21:31.123 --> 00:21:32.624
Cigarettes one at a time.

354
00:21:32.708 --> 00:21:33.750
[audience laughing]

355
00:21:35.127 --> 00:21:36.962
DVDs, everything we like.

356
00:21:37.045 --> 00:21:39.756
I don't know who's doing y'all research,
but they are nailing it.

357
00:21:39.840 --> 00:21:44.636
What in-flight magazine are you reading
before you get to the 'hood?

358
00:21:45.137 --> 00:21:46.805
But you know everything.

359
00:21:48.140 --> 00:21:49.891
White people don't know that shit,

360
00:21:49.975 --> 00:21:52.019
and we've been here
the whole time with them.

361
00:21:53.395 --> 00:21:55.856
You ever needed wave grease
and went into a CVS?

362
00:21:55.939 --> 00:21:57.190
[audience chuckling]

363
00:21:59.109 --> 00:22:02.696
White people don't know shit.
That's why we never feel welcome here.

364
00:22:03.196 --> 00:22:06.241
People come here
knowing more about us than you do,

365
00:22:06.325 --> 00:22:07.701
and we're neighbors.

366
00:22:07.784 --> 00:22:08.869
Isn't that crazy?

367
00:22:09.619 --> 00:22:11.872
And I know this. Like, I'm American.

368
00:22:11.955 --> 00:22:14.583
I'm born and raised in this country.

369
00:22:15.959 --> 00:22:17.627
But I don't feel American.

370
00:22:20.797 --> 00:22:22.007
[audience applauding]

371
00:22:22.924 --> 00:22:26.887
I feel American
until I'm around something very American,

372
00:22:26.970 --> 00:22:29.097
then I'm like, "I don't like this."

373
00:22:29.181 --> 00:22:30.557
[audience laughing]

374
00:22:30.640 --> 00:22:32.350
I think that's the better...

375
00:22:33.060 --> 00:22:35.395
You know what I'm saying?
I'll give you an example.

376
00:22:35.479 --> 00:22:37.898
I was driving through Texas one time.

377
00:22:37.981 --> 00:22:38.982
[audience clamoring]

378
00:22:39.066 --> 00:22:40.358
Oh, you heard of it?

379
00:22:40.442 --> 00:22:41.526
[audience laughing]

380
00:22:42.110 --> 00:22:44.988
I hit one of them small towns in Texas,

381
00:22:45.072 --> 00:22:48.241
and there was
an American flag on every house.

382
00:22:48.325 --> 00:22:50.368
And we all
looked at each other in the car,

383
00:22:50.452 --> 00:22:52.412
like, "Let's get the fuck out of here.

384
00:22:52.496 --> 00:22:54.456
[audience laughing, applauding]

385
00:22:58.043 --> 00:23:00.504
This is way too American for us."

386
00:23:00.587 --> 00:23:01.630
[audience laughing]

387
00:23:02.380 --> 00:23:05.300
Somehow the American flag
is just too American.

388
00:23:05.801 --> 00:23:07.761
I feel the same way
about the American flag

389
00:23:07.844 --> 00:23:10.388
that I imagine white people
feel about Black people.

390
00:23:11.723 --> 00:23:14.142
Like, I don't wanna
be around a lot of them.

391
00:23:14.226 --> 00:23:15.352
[audience laughing]

392
00:23:19.064 --> 00:23:22.150
Three or four is fine,
that's plenty, but, you know...

393
00:23:23.068 --> 00:23:24.820
I don't wanna be surrounded.

394
00:23:24.903 --> 00:23:26.071
[audience chuckling]

395
00:23:30.951 --> 00:23:32.077
[Che laughs]

396
00:23:32.828 --> 00:23:36.581
Black people love this country.
We're just more specific about our love.

397
00:23:37.082 --> 00:23:38.125
You ask any nigga here:

398
00:23:38.208 --> 00:23:40.752
"You love America?"
He'll be like, "I love Brooklyn.

399
00:23:40.836 --> 00:23:42.003
[audience laughing]

400
00:23:44.131 --> 00:23:45.549
Atlanta's cool.

401
00:23:46.299 --> 00:23:48.677
I don't know shit about them Dakotas."

402
00:23:48.760 --> 00:23:50.303
[audience laughing]

403
00:23:50.387 --> 00:23:54.182
If there was a Black American flag,
there'd be, like, 11 stars.

404
00:23:55.183 --> 00:23:57.144
For cities. Not even the whole state.

405
00:23:57.227 --> 00:24:00.438
They'd be like,
"All right, Detroit, Oakland, D.C."

406
00:24:01.356 --> 00:24:02.774
[audience cheering]

407
00:24:08.238 --> 00:24:10.824
Everything else would be a question mark.

408
00:24:10.907 --> 00:24:12.033
[audience laughing]

409
00:24:15.078 --> 00:24:18.039
Black people
don't fuck with anything too patriotic.

410
00:24:19.207 --> 00:24:20.417
Weirds us out.

411
00:24:21.960 --> 00:24:24.546
You don't see American flags
in Black neighborhoods.

412
00:24:24.629 --> 00:24:28.133
You'll see more Puerto Rican flags
in a Black neighborhood.

413
00:24:28.216 --> 00:24:29.426
[audience cheering]

414
00:24:29.509 --> 00:24:30.844
Ain't that crazy?

415
00:24:32.637 --> 00:24:35.098
It's too patriotic.
White people love patriotic shit.

416
00:24:35.182 --> 00:24:38.018
I get it.
It reminds you of America's history.

417
00:24:38.810 --> 00:24:40.061
[audience laughing]

418
00:24:43.565 --> 00:24:46.651
But for Black people,
it reminds us of America's history.

419
00:24:46.735 --> 00:24:48.528
[audience cheering]

420
00:24:50.071 --> 00:24:51.031
[Che chuckles]

421
00:24:57.954 --> 00:25:00.749
Even the national anthem.
The national anthem, uh...

422
00:25:01.750 --> 00:25:03.919
Remember when Kaepernick
kneeled for the anthem?

423
00:25:04.002 --> 00:25:06.421
White people say,
"How the fuck could he do that?"

424
00:25:07.005 --> 00:25:08.840
Niggas was watching like, "I get it."

425
00:25:08.924 --> 00:25:10.008
[audience laughing]

426
00:25:10.091 --> 00:25:12.260
'Cause you don't know
what it sounds like to us.

427
00:25:13.553 --> 00:25:15.263
This is gonna be fucked up.

428
00:25:15.347 --> 00:25:16.431
[audience laughing]

429
00:25:18.016 --> 00:25:20.060
You know what
the national anthem feels like?

430
00:25:20.143 --> 00:25:22.687
It feels like
I'm listening to R. Kelly now.

431
00:25:22.771 --> 00:25:24.606
[audience cheering and clamoring]

432
00:25:27.943 --> 00:25:29.444
It's still good.

433
00:25:32.197 --> 00:25:37.786
It's still good. It's just hard
to not think about that other thing.

434
00:25:37.869 --> 00:25:39.204
[audience laughing]

435
00:25:46.336 --> 00:25:47.754
Look at this white guy.

436
00:25:48.880 --> 00:25:52.050
R. Kelly's an R&amp;B singer
from the '90s who...

437
00:25:52.133 --> 00:25:53.510
[audience laughing]

438
00:25:57.305 --> 00:26:00.225
He made a lot
of important music for Black people

439
00:26:00.767 --> 00:26:03.853
and two very important songs
for white people.

440
00:26:05.397 --> 00:26:07.565
"I Believe I Can Fly"...

441
00:26:08.650 --> 00:26:10.777
and the remix to "Ignition."

442
00:26:10.860 --> 00:26:12.153
[audience cheering]

443
00:26:16.408 --> 00:26:18.326
I love announcing that

444
00:26:18.410 --> 00:26:21.371
'cause there's always a white girl like,
"Fuck. He made that too?

445
00:26:21.454 --> 00:26:22.580
[audience laughing]

446
00:26:22.664 --> 00:26:24.249
That's my wedding song."

447
00:26:24.332 --> 00:26:25.583
[audience laughing]

448
00:26:27.043 --> 00:26:28.211
It's a good song.

449
00:26:30.880 --> 00:26:36.803
He also peed on a 15-year-old girl,
which white people just found out about,

450
00:26:36.886 --> 00:26:40.181
and niggas have to pretend
we just found out about too.

451
00:26:40.265 --> 00:26:41.349
[audience laughing]

452
00:26:44.227 --> 00:26:46.813
We've known for a while. We saw the tape.

453
00:26:48.231 --> 00:26:50.317
That's how long ago it was.
It was on tape.

454
00:26:50.400 --> 00:26:52.819
This nigga set up a tripod for that shit.

455
00:26:52.902 --> 00:26:54.237
[audience laughing]

456
00:26:55.155 --> 00:26:56.740
Nobody here saw the tape?

457
00:26:59.242 --> 00:27:01.161
I saw it. That was fucked up.

458
00:27:01.244 --> 00:27:03.246
I don't know if you've seen it.

459
00:27:03.330 --> 00:27:05.582
Not only does he pee on the girl,

460
00:27:05.665 --> 00:27:07.584
which is already horrible,

461
00:27:07.667 --> 00:27:10.545
but he also pees on his own couch.

462
00:27:10.628 --> 00:27:11.921
[audience laughing]

463
00:27:16.343 --> 00:27:20.055
When I saw that shit, I was like,
"This nigga's insane, man. Ooh.

464
00:27:21.014 --> 00:27:22.849
Who would do such a thing?

465
00:27:23.683 --> 00:27:26.227
Not gonna move that shit
to the linoleum or nothing?"

466
00:27:26.311 --> 00:27:27.270
[audience laughing]

467
00:27:31.941 --> 00:27:35.987
I'm not saying it's just as bad,
but one of them's a lot harder to clean.

468
00:27:36.071 --> 00:27:37.322
[audience laughing]

469
00:27:44.871 --> 00:27:45.997
Is that the line?

470
00:27:50.043 --> 00:27:50.960
I have to ask, guys.

471
00:27:51.044 --> 00:27:53.213
If I go too far,
let me know, I'll rein it back.

472
00:27:53.296 --> 00:27:54.464
[audience clamoring]

473
00:27:55.465 --> 00:27:59.928
I like making fun of dark shit.
That's just how I process information.

474
00:28:00.011 --> 00:28:01.304
[audience cheering]

475
00:28:02.639 --> 00:28:05.809
And it doesn't make me better or anything.
It's just how I do it.

476
00:28:05.892 --> 00:28:11.147
Some people... Uh, some people don't.
Some people like to make sad shit sadder.

477
00:28:11.231 --> 00:28:12.774
[audience chuckling]

478
00:28:12.857 --> 00:28:14.317
You know. I disagree.

479
00:28:14.984 --> 00:28:19.280
I like making fun of sad shit.
I don't like people who make fun shit sad.

480
00:28:19.364 --> 00:28:23.743
What's worse, making fun of something sad,
or making sad of something fun?

481
00:28:25.036 --> 00:28:26.871
You know? Who'd you rather be with?

482
00:28:26.955 --> 00:28:30.667
Somebody that's gonna make you laugh
about that time you got molested, or...

483
00:28:30.750 --> 00:28:31.793
[audience laughing]

484
00:28:36.089 --> 00:28:39.467
Or somebody that tells you
scrambled eggs are just chicken abortions?

485
00:28:39.551 --> 00:28:40.718
[audience laughing]

486
00:28:51.020 --> 00:28:56.443
I'm asking, 'cause I like to make jokes
that are terrible to some people.

487
00:28:56.526 --> 00:29:01.156
-[woman] Whoo!
-Yeah. I'm always getting into trouble.

488
00:29:01.656 --> 00:29:05.535
One time, I got in trouble
'cause I said I liked Donald Trump.

489
00:29:05.618 --> 00:29:07.245
[audience laughing and clamoring]

490
00:29:07.328 --> 00:29:11.875
Well, in fairness, he had just hosted SNL,
and he was fucking nice to me.

491
00:29:13.084 --> 00:29:15.003
He was. He even gave me a nickname.

492
00:29:15.086 --> 00:29:17.881
He called me
"One of the good ones," and, uh...

493
00:29:17.964 --> 00:29:19.799
[audience laughing and applauding]

494
00:29:26.556 --> 00:29:28.641
I don't know what he meant by that.

495
00:29:30.810 --> 00:29:31.895
[groans]

496
00:29:35.231 --> 00:29:37.567
I'm kidding. I don't like Donald Trump.

497
00:29:39.486 --> 00:29:40.653
[audience cheering]

498
00:29:46.284 --> 00:29:48.036
I don't hate Donald Trump.

499
00:29:49.370 --> 00:29:51.080
I didn't love him, I didn't hate him.

500
00:29:51.164 --> 00:29:55.126
I just wish he wasn't our president,
if that makes sense.

501
00:29:55.210 --> 00:29:56.419
[audience applauding]

502
00:29:56.503 --> 00:29:59.214
But if Trump was
the president of anywhere else,

503
00:29:59.297 --> 00:30:02.383
I would have been like,
"This nigga Trump is hilarious.

504
00:30:02.467 --> 00:30:03.885
[audience laughing]

505
00:30:03.968 --> 00:30:06.054
Why can't we ever get somebody this fun?"

506
00:30:07.138 --> 00:30:10.433
But he's ours, so it wasn't that funny.
Know what I mean?

507
00:30:10.975 --> 00:30:14.813
Like, everybody loves drunk dad,
but not when he's your drunk dad.

508
00:30:16.439 --> 00:30:20.026
Like, "Your dad's great."
"Yeah? Well, he hits us, so I'm glad...

509
00:30:20.693 --> 00:30:22.654
I'm glad you're enjoying this."

510
00:30:29.661 --> 00:30:32.205
Democrats hate when you say that shit.
Liberals?

511
00:30:32.288 --> 00:30:33.623
[audience member clapping]

512
00:30:33.706 --> 00:30:37.377
People assume
all Black people are Democrats...

513
00:30:38.711 --> 00:30:40.588
because we always vote Democrat.

514
00:30:40.672 --> 00:30:42.382
[audience laughing]

515
00:30:42.465 --> 00:30:46.469
But we don't really vote Democrat.
We vote not Republican, if anything.

516
00:30:46.553 --> 00:30:48.888
[audience cheering, applauding]

517
00:30:48.972 --> 00:30:50.306
You know what I mean?

518
00:30:52.767 --> 00:30:54.561
We vote defense first.

519
00:30:54.644 --> 00:30:56.187
[audience laughing]

520
00:30:56.271 --> 00:30:58.982
We vote like the Baltimore Ravens draft.

521
00:31:00.942 --> 00:31:02.193
Democrats are like condoms.

522
00:31:02.277 --> 00:31:05.864
We'll use you, but,
you know, it doesn't feel good.

523
00:31:05.947 --> 00:31:07.532
[audience laughing]

524
00:31:07.615 --> 00:31:10.451
We're just trying to prevent
some other shit from happening.

525
00:31:12.161 --> 00:31:14.622
That's why Black voter turnout's
always so low.

526
00:31:15.123 --> 00:31:16.416
"Who would you rather have?

527
00:31:16.499 --> 00:31:18.710
Old rich white dude,
or old rich white dude?"

528
00:31:19.252 --> 00:31:22.547
I'm like, "I'd like to
just enjoy my Tuesday, honestly."

529
00:31:25.008 --> 00:31:28.636
I didn't like when Trump was president.
I could be honest now.

530
00:31:28.720 --> 00:31:30.889
-[woman cheers]
-[Che chuckles]

531
00:31:30.972 --> 00:31:33.683
I can. I didn't like it.
It was frustrating.

532
00:31:33.766 --> 00:31:36.853
Because he'd say
some nasty, ugly shit sometimes.

533
00:31:36.936 --> 00:31:39.564
You know,
like, really, really racist shit.

534
00:31:39.647 --> 00:31:42.442
And then right after that...

535
00:31:43.151 --> 00:31:44.235
[sighs]

536
00:31:44.319 --> 00:31:48.114
...he'd say something
that'd just touch my old Black heart.

537
00:31:48.615 --> 00:31:49.949
[audience chuckles]

538
00:31:50.033 --> 00:31:51.743
You know? He'll say something racist,

539
00:31:51.826 --> 00:31:54.245
then he'd be like,
"The FBI be setting niggas up

540
00:31:54.329 --> 00:31:55.455
and the media be lying."

541
00:31:55.538 --> 00:31:58.207
And white people be like,
"No, they don't." I'm like, "Well...

542
00:31:58.291 --> 00:32:00.293
[audience laughing, clapping]

543
00:32:02.295 --> 00:32:03.212
He's not wrong.

544
00:32:03.296 --> 00:32:06.549
Just the worst possible guy
to be right at this time."

545
00:32:07.592 --> 00:32:09.594
It's like if Bill Cosby was like,

546
00:32:09.677 --> 00:32:11.596
"The justice system's
unfair to Black men."

547
00:32:11.679 --> 00:32:16.559
You're like, "Not for you. You can't...
We don't wanna hear you say that shit."

548
00:32:16.643 --> 00:32:18.645
[audience cheering, applauding]

549
00:32:21.397 --> 00:32:22.398
[chuckles]

550
00:32:23.775 --> 00:32:26.319
That's not the only time
I got into trouble.

551
00:32:27.904 --> 00:32:30.156
I did a thing
I didn't even know was a thing.

552
00:32:30.239 --> 00:32:31.366
You ever do that?

553
00:32:32.367 --> 00:32:35.662
It's called "dead-naming."
I'd never heard of it before.

554
00:32:35.745 --> 00:32:38.581
But I made a joke
on Saturday Night Live...

555
00:32:41.125 --> 00:32:44.253
where I dead-named--
I don't know if you know what that is,

556
00:32:44.337 --> 00:32:48.132
but it's when you make reference
to a trans person's former self.

557
00:32:49.092 --> 00:32:50.343
That's what I did.

558
00:32:50.426 --> 00:32:54.973
I made a joke
about Bruce Jenner the track star

559
00:32:55.056 --> 00:32:58.226
instead of
Caitlyn Jenner the race-car driver.

560
00:32:58.309 --> 00:33:00.311
[audience laughing, clapping]

561
00:33:07.276 --> 00:33:10.697
I called her a race-car driver
because she killed somebody with her car.

562
00:33:10.780 --> 00:33:12.782
[audience cheering, clapping]

563
00:33:16.744 --> 00:33:19.288
Caitlyn Jenner
killed somebody with her car,

564
00:33:19.372 --> 00:33:22.041
and my joke was so bad,
America took her side.

565
00:33:22.125 --> 00:33:24.627
[audience laughing]

566
00:33:27.338 --> 00:33:28.715
Did you guys not know that?

567
00:33:28.798 --> 00:33:31.801
Of course you didn't.
No one likes to talk about it.

568
00:33:31.884 --> 00:33:34.679
They did a whole
Comedy Central Roast about Caitlyn Jenner

569
00:33:34.762 --> 00:33:37.557
and nobody brought up
that she killed somebody with her car.

570
00:33:38.349 --> 00:33:41.769
That'd be like if they roasted O.J.
and just stuck to football jokes.

571
00:33:41.853 --> 00:33:43.354
[audience laughing]

572
00:33:43.438 --> 00:33:45.940
That's not why
we know this motherfucker anymore.

573
00:33:46.024 --> 00:33:48.026
[audience cheering]

574
00:33:49.277 --> 00:33:50.278
[snickers]

575
00:33:51.029 --> 00:33:53.322
They accused me of punching down.

576
00:33:54.365 --> 00:33:57.952
If I can't make fun of rich white women,
who can I make fun of?

577
00:33:58.036 --> 00:34:00.038
[audience laughing]

578
00:34:01.080 --> 00:34:04.667
She was the 2015 Woman of the Year.
I wasn't even nominated.

579
00:34:06.461 --> 00:34:07.879
How the fuck is she down?

580
00:34:09.922 --> 00:34:13.926
I got in trouble for that one.
I learned my lesson too.

581
00:34:14.427 --> 00:34:18.222
From now on, the only pronouns I use
is "this nigga" and "that nigga."

582
00:34:18.306 --> 00:34:20.933
[audience laughing, applauding]

583
00:34:25.938 --> 00:34:29.776
As in, that nigga Caitlyn Jenner
killed somebody with her car.

584
00:34:29.859 --> 00:34:32.653
[audience laughing, cheering]

585
00:34:32.737 --> 00:34:34.614
And I'll never forget it.

586
00:34:34.697 --> 00:34:36.699
[audience applauding]

587
00:34:39.243 --> 00:34:40.995
I could joke about it now, it's funny.

588
00:34:41.079 --> 00:34:46.417
But at the time, it was not very funny.
I was... I was humiliated, embarrassed.

589
00:34:46.501 --> 00:34:51.089
I felt terrible. I felt bad. They was
writing articles calling me homophobic.

590
00:34:51.172 --> 00:34:53.382
I have gay friends.
I work with gay people.

591
00:34:53.466 --> 00:34:56.844
I don't want that going around.
I felt terrible.

592
00:34:57.720 --> 00:35:02.141
But I started to look into myself.
Maybe there's something I don't know.

593
00:35:03.810 --> 00:35:05.311
Am I homophobic?

594
00:35:05.853 --> 00:35:07.688
[high-pitched laughter]

595
00:35:07.772 --> 00:35:09.357
[audience laughs]

596
00:35:10.066 --> 00:35:12.652
When you did that laugh, I was like,
"That's a gay-ass laugh."

597
00:35:12.735 --> 00:35:16.739
[audience laughing, cheering]

598
00:35:19.826 --> 00:35:23.704
I'm kidding. That was a joke.
It was just... I couldn't pass...

599
00:35:29.085 --> 00:35:32.588
I guess I realized how little
I understood about homophobia.

600
00:35:32.672 --> 00:35:34.590
Like even on a base level.

601
00:35:35.424 --> 00:35:39.679
I don't even know why gays get a phobia
and everybody else gets an "ism."

602
00:35:39.762 --> 00:35:41.973
[audience chuckling]

603
00:35:48.062 --> 00:35:51.107
If you don't like Black people,
that's racism.

604
00:35:51.649 --> 00:35:53.734
If you don't like women, that's sexism.

605
00:35:54.360 --> 00:35:57.113
If you don't like poor people,
that's classism.

606
00:35:57.196 --> 00:35:59.991
If you don't like gays, homophobia.

607
00:36:00.908 --> 00:36:04.036
I thought that was for
clowns and spiders and shit.

608
00:36:04.120 --> 00:36:06.747
[audience laughing, applauding]

609
00:36:11.335 --> 00:36:14.839
I looked it up, what a phobia was.
You know what it is?

610
00:36:14.922 --> 00:36:18.176
It's an extreme
or irrational fear of something.

611
00:36:18.676 --> 00:36:20.344
I'm like, "Okay, that makes sense.

612
00:36:20.428 --> 00:36:23.598
If you're afraid of gay people,
that's extreme and irrational."

613
00:36:24.348 --> 00:36:27.268
If you're afraid of Black people,
that's extreme.

614
00:36:28.019 --> 00:36:30.021
[audience laughing]

615
00:36:35.359 --> 00:36:36.777
It's not irrational.

616
00:36:40.281 --> 00:36:43.326
If you're at a ATM late at night
and a Black dude run up behind you

617
00:36:43.409 --> 00:36:46.078
and you freak out,
that's an extreme reaction.

618
00:36:46.704 --> 00:36:48.247
It's not irrational.

619
00:36:48.331 --> 00:36:49.916
[audience laughing]

620
00:36:49.999 --> 00:36:52.543
Look, I'm Black.
If a nigga run up on me, I'll be like,

621
00:36:52.627 --> 00:36:54.420
"Please be gay. Please.

622
00:36:55.171 --> 00:36:57.340
Please have a lisp or something."

623
00:36:57.423 --> 00:37:00.092
[audience applauding]

624
00:37:04.430 --> 00:37:05.932
It's not irrational.

625
00:37:06.432 --> 00:37:08.392
Why wouldn't you
be afraid of Black people?

626
00:37:08.476 --> 00:37:12.063
All they do is tell you
to be afraid of us. Everybody is.

627
00:37:12.980 --> 00:37:14.315
Cops are afraid of us.

628
00:37:14.398 --> 00:37:17.818
These motherfuckers we pay to protect us,
they the most afraid of us.

629
00:37:18.819 --> 00:37:23.407
Cops are so afraid of Black people
that I'm starting to believe in myself.

630
00:37:23.491 --> 00:37:25.493
[audience laughing]

631
00:37:27.119 --> 00:37:29.789
They think we magical or some shit.

632
00:37:29.872 --> 00:37:32.750
We could be holding anything,
they' be like, "Put that gun down."

633
00:37:32.833 --> 00:37:35.461
I'm like,
"These are flowers. What the fuck?"

634
00:37:36.504 --> 00:37:38.381
"Yeah, they're flowers now.

635
00:37:40.549 --> 00:37:42.218
You niggas are tricky."

636
00:37:44.553 --> 00:37:47.556
I'm like, "Can I kill this nigga
with flowers? What the fuck?

637
00:37:47.640 --> 00:37:49.892
What does he know that I don't know?"

638
00:37:51.978 --> 00:37:53.688
Do you know how that feels?

639
00:37:53.771 --> 00:37:56.857
For a motherfucker
to believe in you so much

640
00:37:56.941 --> 00:38:01.279
that you actually believe
what they believe you to be?

641
00:38:03.281 --> 00:38:05.992
I had an ex-girlfriend like that.
She was jealous.

642
00:38:06.492 --> 00:38:09.370
Super jealous. She used to
always think I was cheating on her.

643
00:38:09.453 --> 00:38:10.871
Even when I wasn't.

644
00:38:10.955 --> 00:38:12.957
[audience laughing]

645
00:38:17.670 --> 00:38:21.215
I'm not saying it's her fault
I ended up cheating on her, but she...

646
00:38:22.049 --> 00:38:24.427
She gave me the confidence I needed...

647
00:38:24.510 --> 00:38:26.721
[audience laughing]

648
00:38:30.725 --> 00:38:32.393
...to meet other people.

649
00:38:34.353 --> 00:38:35.938
I could introduce her to anybody.

650
00:38:36.647 --> 00:38:37.773
Models.

651
00:38:38.441 --> 00:38:40.985
Women I could not fuck if I wanted to.

652
00:38:41.902 --> 00:38:44.989
She was like, "You fucking her,
ain't you?" I'm like, "I can't."

653
00:38:45.072 --> 00:38:47.074
[audience laughing]

654
00:38:48.659 --> 00:38:51.579
She'd go,
"I see the way she looks at you."

655
00:38:51.662 --> 00:38:53.914
I go, "She do be looking? Oh, my God."

656
00:38:53.998 --> 00:38:56.000
[audience laughing]

657
00:38:58.878 --> 00:38:59.962
[chuckles]

658
00:39:01.422 --> 00:39:03.007
That's a stupid joke.

659
00:39:03.090 --> 00:39:04.800
[audience laughs]

660
00:39:05.843 --> 00:39:07.011
It's true, though.

661
00:39:08.179 --> 00:39:12.058
We'd fight all the time.
We'd fight over stupid shit.

662
00:39:12.141 --> 00:39:14.477
Just because I didn't know.
Stuff I didn't know.

663
00:39:14.560 --> 00:39:17.355
I always hated that
she assumed that I would know things

664
00:39:17.438 --> 00:39:19.440
that I couldn't possibly know.

665
00:39:19.523 --> 00:39:21.817
I didn't know periods weren't fun.

666
00:39:23.402 --> 00:39:25.404
It looks fun in the commercial.

667
00:39:25.488 --> 00:39:27.490
[audience laughing]

668
00:39:30.951 --> 00:39:34.789
I have sisters. They'd get their periods.

669
00:39:35.289 --> 00:39:36.999
They didn't even call it a period.

670
00:39:37.083 --> 00:39:38.751
They'd be like,
"It's my time of the month."

671
00:39:38.834 --> 00:39:40.836
And I'd be like, "Okay, have a good time.

672
00:39:40.920 --> 00:39:42.922
[audience laughing]

673
00:39:45.091 --> 00:39:47.760
Can't wait till I grow up
and get some time for myself."

674
00:39:50.679 --> 00:39:54.266
And that's all they'd say about it.
Nobody talked about it.

675
00:39:54.350 --> 00:39:57.311
They didn't talk about it
the way I would if I got a period.

676
00:39:57.853 --> 00:40:01.107
If I got a period,
it'd be all I talked about.

677
00:40:01.190 --> 00:40:04.819
It'd be my excuse for everything. Like,
"Che, you're three hours late for work."

678
00:40:04.902 --> 00:40:06.404
"Nigga, I got my period."

679
00:40:06.487 --> 00:40:08.489
[audience laughing]

680
00:40:11.075 --> 00:40:11.992
"We understand that,

681
00:40:12.076 --> 00:40:14.829
but it's the third time this month
you've used that excuse."

682
00:40:15.830 --> 00:40:18.207
"I played sports in high school,
my shit's irregular.

683
00:40:18.290 --> 00:40:19.583
What you want from me, man?"

684
00:40:21.585 --> 00:40:23.045
I'm all bloated and shit.

685
00:40:27.299 --> 00:40:28.717
My girl get her period, man,

686
00:40:28.801 --> 00:40:30.928
and she wouldn't even say
nothing about it.

687
00:40:31.679 --> 00:40:34.056
She would just be suffering.
I would feel so bad.

688
00:40:34.140 --> 00:40:35.891
I know she didn't wanna talk about it,

689
00:40:35.975 --> 00:40:38.352
maybe she thought
she couldn't talk to me about it.

690
00:40:38.436 --> 00:40:41.439
So I would try to say something
to let her know she could talk to me

691
00:40:41.522 --> 00:40:44.400
if she wanted to talk to me about it,
like I'd ask her, I'd say,

692
00:40:44.483 --> 00:40:46.735
"Hey, what are you,
on your period or something?"

693
00:40:46.819 --> 00:40:48.821
[audience laughing]

694
00:40:49.822 --> 00:40:50.865
And she--

695
00:40:52.032 --> 00:40:53.701
Yeah, that's not how you do that.

696
00:40:55.327 --> 00:40:58.330
She would get so mad.
"Why the fuck would you ask me that?"

697
00:40:59.415 --> 00:41:00.958
"'Cause you're miserable?

698
00:41:01.041 --> 00:41:03.461
And I would be too
if I was stuffed with cotton."

699
00:41:03.544 --> 00:41:05.921
[audience laughing]

700
00:41:09.258 --> 00:41:11.177
She made it seem like it was a dumb guess.

701
00:41:11.260 --> 00:41:12.720
Like, it was a good guess.

702
00:41:14.680 --> 00:41:16.807
She had her period for a week every month.

703
00:41:18.434 --> 00:41:22.354
It's like a one-in-four chance I'm right
any time I ask that question.

704
00:41:22.438 --> 00:41:23.689
[audience clapping]

705
00:41:23.772 --> 00:41:25.399
It's not a stupid question.

706
00:41:26.233 --> 00:41:29.195
If you knew that I smoke crack
for one week every month...

707
00:41:30.029 --> 00:41:32.490
and then you see me outside
butt-naked in Timberlands,

708
00:41:32.573 --> 00:41:34.533
trying to sell a refrigerator door...

709
00:41:34.617 --> 00:41:37.411
[audience laughing, clapping]

710
00:41:37.495 --> 00:41:39.413
"Che, are you smoking crack this week?"

711
00:41:39.497 --> 00:41:40.915
"Why would you ask me that?

712
00:41:42.833 --> 00:41:44.251
It's dismissive."

713
00:41:44.335 --> 00:41:46.337
[audience laughing]

714
00:41:52.176 --> 00:41:53.552
She called me toxic.

715
00:41:55.179 --> 00:41:57.348
That's a rotten thing
to call somebody, right?

716
00:42:01.393 --> 00:42:02.937
Especially if it's true.

717
00:42:03.020 --> 00:42:05.105
[audience laughs]

718
00:42:05.189 --> 00:42:08.901
She left me and I don't--
I miss her-- I don't miss her.

719
00:42:08.984 --> 00:42:10.194
I miss...

720
00:42:10.277 --> 00:42:12.613
[audience chuckling]

721
00:42:12.696 --> 00:42:13.864
I miss...

722
00:42:14.740 --> 00:42:18.035
I miss all the work that I put
into the relationship...

723
00:42:19.787 --> 00:42:22.164
and now it's non-transferable.

724
00:42:22.248 --> 00:42:24.333
[audience laughing]

725
00:42:24.416 --> 00:42:25.709
You know what I mean?

726
00:42:26.210 --> 00:42:29.505
Like when I date someone new,
she's like, "You never take me anywhere,"

727
00:42:29.588 --> 00:42:34.343
I can't be like, "What about that time
I took my ex to her sister's wedding?"

728
00:42:34.426 --> 00:42:36.428
[audience laughing]

729
00:42:39.014 --> 00:42:40.641
I gotta start all over again.

730
00:42:41.809 --> 00:42:43.060
I'm not gonna.

731
00:42:45.104 --> 00:42:47.314
I'm not gonna start
all over again. I quit.

732
00:42:47.398 --> 00:42:49.942
I'm just gonna be single
for the rest of my life.

733
00:42:50.025 --> 00:42:51.360
I really am.

734
00:42:51.443 --> 00:42:53.404
[audience applauding]

735
00:42:53.487 --> 00:42:55.823
Just gonna grow old by myself.

736
00:42:55.906 --> 00:42:58.576
I just bought a house
from a couple of lesbians.

737
00:43:00.828 --> 00:43:02.746
I said that wrong. Can we do it again?

738
00:43:03.831 --> 00:43:06.041
I just bought a house
from a lesbian couple.

739
00:43:06.125 --> 00:43:08.127
[audience laughing]

740
00:43:11.213 --> 00:43:12.339
We'll fix it.

741
00:43:15.551 --> 00:43:19.847
It's a beautiful house upstate.
It's in the country. Upstate New York.

742
00:43:19.930 --> 00:43:21.890
I'm really excited about it, man.

743
00:43:21.974 --> 00:43:26.020
It's too white, though.
It's like the town is very fucking white.

744
00:43:26.103 --> 00:43:27.980
It's so white. It's like...

745
00:43:28.063 --> 00:43:30.774
me and one black bear, and that's...

746
00:43:30.858 --> 00:43:32.067
[audience laughing]

747
00:43:32.151 --> 00:43:33.527
That's it.

748
00:43:36.238 --> 00:43:37.740
That is all.

749
00:43:37.823 --> 00:43:40.743
I can't wait to meet this motherfucker,
to be honest with you.

750
00:43:41.744 --> 00:43:43.871
Finally. Somebody I can talk to.

751
00:43:44.413 --> 00:43:46.999
Somebody that's not gonna
cross the street when I...

752
00:43:48.459 --> 00:43:49.710
He's gonna be so surprised.

753
00:43:49.793 --> 00:43:53.255
Imagine when he sees me, he's like,
"Oh, shit, when did you get here?

754
00:43:54.256 --> 00:43:55.799
Where's your fur?

755
00:43:57.217 --> 00:43:58.802
This nigga got alopecia."

756
00:43:58.886 --> 00:44:00.888
[audience chuckling]

757
00:44:04.975 --> 00:44:07.895
I didn't know black bear was a species.

758
00:44:08.896 --> 00:44:11.607
I had no idea that that was
a real fucking species.

759
00:44:11.690 --> 00:44:13.192
Because we had a town meeting,

760
00:44:13.275 --> 00:44:16.195
they said, "There was a black bear
sighting in the neighborhood."

761
00:44:16.278 --> 00:44:19.114
"Just say bear.
You don't gotta be nasty about this shit."

762
00:44:19.198 --> 00:44:21.200
[audience laughing]

763
00:44:22.284 --> 00:44:24.495
They judge the motherfucker
for being black.

764
00:44:28.499 --> 00:44:30.084
[chuckles]

765
00:44:32.461 --> 00:44:35.589
I was scared when I found out
there's a black bear in my neighborhood.

766
00:44:35.673 --> 00:44:37.966
I never seen no black bear.
I'm from New York City.

767
00:44:38.050 --> 00:44:39.426
You ever seen a bear?

768
00:44:39.510 --> 00:44:42.304
"Do I have to shoot this motherfucker?
What do I gotta do?"

769
00:44:43.263 --> 00:44:44.515
But I found out what to do.

770
00:44:44.598 --> 00:44:46.809
You know what to do
if you ever encounter a bear?

771
00:44:46.892 --> 00:44:51.271
You have to make yourself really big,
and you gotta make a lot of noise.

772
00:44:51.355 --> 00:44:54.274
Because a bear won't eat you
if they think you're retarded.

773
00:44:54.358 --> 00:44:56.026
-[audience laughing]
-They would--

774
00:44:59.238 --> 00:45:00.572
[chuckles]

775
00:45:07.121 --> 00:45:08.414
[chuckles]

776
00:45:09.289 --> 00:45:10.874
What if that's true?

777
00:45:11.667 --> 00:45:15.045
What if you do that and the bear's like,
"Chill. Chill. Not him. Not him.

778
00:45:15.129 --> 00:45:17.172
[audience laughing]

779
00:45:17.256 --> 00:45:19.883
I'm not hungry no more.

780
00:45:19.967 --> 00:45:22.636
Let's just eat some berries, man.
Leave him alone."

781
00:45:26.098 --> 00:45:28.600
That's not a nice word to say,
I know. Uh...

782
00:45:28.684 --> 00:45:31.395
But I only said it
'cause I thought it would make you laugh.

783
00:45:31.478 --> 00:45:32.938
[audience laughs]

784
00:45:33.021 --> 00:45:35.315
And it did.
That's why I did it in Oakland.

785
00:45:35.399 --> 00:45:37.943
[audience laughing, cheering]

786
00:45:38.026 --> 00:45:40.988
'Cause you guys wanna be woke,
but you don't know how.

787
00:45:44.366 --> 00:45:46.910
I'm trying not--
I don't like to use that word.

788
00:45:46.994 --> 00:45:48.912
I literally did it for a joke.

789
00:45:50.414 --> 00:45:52.916
I don't like-- I don't like
that word as much anymore.

790
00:45:53.000 --> 00:45:54.042
I'm learning a lot.

791
00:45:55.669 --> 00:45:58.172
I got a nephew who's just diagnosed
with autism.

792
00:45:58.255 --> 00:46:00.048
I'm really excited about it.

793
00:46:00.132 --> 00:46:02.134
[audience chuckling]

794
00:46:03.510 --> 00:46:07.014
I'm excited about it 'cause I didn't know
that Black kids could get it.

795
00:46:07.097 --> 00:46:09.308
[audience laughing]

796
00:46:10.184 --> 00:46:12.561
Did you? I had no fucking...

797
00:46:14.646 --> 00:46:18.275
They don't really diagnose Black kids'
mental health, historically.

798
00:46:18.358 --> 00:46:20.068
I don't know if you realized that.

799
00:46:20.152 --> 00:46:21.653
They don't really diagnose us.

800
00:46:21.737 --> 00:46:24.656
When I was growing up, there were
two diagnoses of mental health.

801
00:46:24.740 --> 00:46:26.283
We had "crazy"...

802
00:46:27.075 --> 00:46:29.495
and we had "Ain't nothing wrong
with that nigga."

803
00:46:29.578 --> 00:46:31.580
[audience laughing]

804
00:46:33.790 --> 00:46:37.085
And now we got autism,
and I think that's progress.

805
00:46:38.378 --> 00:46:41.006
They're finally checking in
on Black mental health.

806
00:46:41.089 --> 00:46:43.258
I'm sure I grew up with kids
that had autism,

807
00:46:43.342 --> 00:46:44.593
but nobody called it that.

808
00:46:44.676 --> 00:46:47.012
"Ain't nothing wrong
with that nigga, he just like to count."

809
00:46:47.095 --> 00:46:48.096
"Uh...

810
00:46:48.180 --> 00:46:50.098
[audience laughing]

811
00:46:50.182 --> 00:46:52.309
I don't know if that's the whole story.

812
00:46:54.102 --> 00:46:55.854
He's blinking an awful lot."

813
00:46:58.649 --> 00:47:02.444
Black people know I'm not lying.
They don't diagnose Black kids with shit.

814
00:47:02.528 --> 00:47:06.031
I got an uncle who's deaf,
we didn't know until he was 27 years old.

815
00:47:06.114 --> 00:47:07.449
[audience laughing]

816
00:47:07.533 --> 00:47:10.869
My grandmother's like, "Ain't nothing
wrong with that nigga, he hear you."

817
00:47:10.953 --> 00:47:13.914
I was like, "I don't--
I don't think he does.

818
00:47:14.831 --> 00:47:16.208
He didn't flinch."

819
00:47:20.671 --> 00:47:23.882
Of course I know Black people
have mental-health issues.

820
00:47:24.841 --> 00:47:27.970
You know how many Black girls
I dated that's clearly bipolar?

821
00:47:28.053 --> 00:47:29.638
[audience laughing]

822
00:47:29.721 --> 00:47:32.641
Walking around like, "Ain't
nothing wrong me. I'm just a Gemini."

823
00:47:32.724 --> 00:47:34.101
You're like, "Uh-uh.

824
00:47:34.184 --> 00:47:36.562
[audience laughing, applauding]

825
00:47:36.645 --> 00:47:38.647
You need medicine, Keisha.

826
00:47:39.856 --> 00:47:42.568
This ain't got shit to do with the moon.
You bit me."

827
00:47:42.651 --> 00:47:44.653
[audience laughing]

828
00:47:51.910 --> 00:47:54.121
Now we know about mental health.

829
00:47:55.038 --> 00:47:56.707
That's why it makes me happy.

830
00:47:57.249 --> 00:47:59.334
But it also makes me sad.

831
00:48:00.127 --> 00:48:02.212
I'm like, "You know
how many niggas we could've helped

832
00:48:02.296 --> 00:48:04.381
if we knew about mental health sooner?"

833
00:48:05.215 --> 00:48:09.219
DMX was barking like a dog for 25 years.
Nobody said shit.

834
00:48:09.303 --> 00:48:11.722
[audience laughing]

835
00:48:12.598 --> 00:48:15.559
"Ain't nothing wrong with that nigga,
nigga just like dogs a lot."

836
00:48:20.564 --> 00:48:23.150
Flavor Flav is 60 years old.

837
00:48:24.443 --> 00:48:28.780
He wears a Viking helmet
and a clock every day.

838
00:48:30.782 --> 00:48:31.992
That's not nothing.

839
00:48:32.075 --> 00:48:34.494
[audience cheering, laughing]

840
00:48:43.128 --> 00:48:45.130
You know where I learned
about mental health?

841
00:48:45.213 --> 00:48:47.716
I realized this conversation
was open for everybody.

842
00:48:47.799 --> 00:48:50.677
You know where I learned
about mental health? Sesame Street.

843
00:48:50.761 --> 00:48:52.346
[audience applauding, cheering]

844
00:48:52.429 --> 00:48:53.388
Yeah.

845
00:48:54.222 --> 00:48:56.391
I did an episode of Sesame Street.

846
00:48:56.475 --> 00:49:00.854
And when you do Sesame Street,
they give you a tour of Sesame Street.

847
00:49:00.937 --> 00:49:03.148
I was excited.
I was raised on Sesame Street.

848
00:49:03.231 --> 00:49:05.901
Sesame Street almost taught me
how to read.

849
00:49:05.984 --> 00:49:07.361
[audience laughs]

850
00:49:07.444 --> 00:49:09.363
When I get there, the lady says,

851
00:49:09.446 --> 00:49:12.783
"We have a lot of diverse puppets now
on Sesame Street."

852
00:49:12.866 --> 00:49:16.953
I was like, "Yeah, I know, you have
Big Bird, a hairy elephant-- I get it."

853
00:49:18.455 --> 00:49:19.956
She said, "No.

854
00:49:20.916 --> 00:49:23.377
We have an African-American puppet.

855
00:49:24.419 --> 00:49:26.129
We have a Latina puppet.

856
00:49:27.130 --> 00:49:29.591
We have an HIV-positive puppet."

857
00:49:31.009 --> 00:49:32.844
Yeah, I don't know how he got it either.

858
00:49:32.928 --> 00:49:34.930
[audience laughing]

859
00:49:35.013 --> 00:49:35.847
See--

860
00:49:37.766 --> 00:49:41.103
Seems like a very strange
and avoidable thing to give to a puppet.

861
00:49:42.521 --> 00:49:43.897
I didn't ask any questions.

862
00:49:43.980 --> 00:49:47.734
But the whole time I was thinking,
"Who the fuck is raw-dogging puppets

863
00:49:48.527 --> 00:49:50.278
on Sesame Street...

864
00:49:51.405 --> 00:49:53.031
getting these niggas sick?

865
00:49:54.825 --> 00:49:56.618
We gotta catch this motherfucker."

866
00:49:56.702 --> 00:49:58.704
[audience laughing]

867
00:50:04.543 --> 00:50:10.507
Then she goes,
"And we have our first autistic puppet."

868
00:50:11.800 --> 00:50:13.176
I was like, "First?"

869
00:50:14.219 --> 00:50:16.221
[audience laughing]

870
00:50:18.557 --> 00:50:20.600
Well, "first autistic puppet"

871
00:50:20.684 --> 00:50:24.730
implies that all the other puppets
are fine.

872
00:50:24.813 --> 00:50:26.648
[audience chuckles]

873
00:50:27.524 --> 00:50:29.443
I don't know if you remember
Sesame Street,

874
00:50:29.526 --> 00:50:31.445
they got this one nigga named the Count.

875
00:50:31.528 --> 00:50:33.613
[audience laughing]

876
00:50:36.742 --> 00:50:38.618
He dresses up like a vampire

877
00:50:38.702 --> 00:50:41.580
and just counts all the shit
in his apartment.

878
00:50:41.663 --> 00:50:43.665
[audience laughing]

879
00:50:45.000 --> 00:50:47.002
[audience applauding]

880
00:50:52.257 --> 00:50:53.550
I'm not a doctor...

881
00:50:55.427 --> 00:50:56.386
but I'm pretty sure

882
00:50:56.470 --> 00:50:58.597
he shouldn't be allowed
to touch the stove.

883
00:50:58.680 --> 00:51:00.891
[audience laughing]

884
00:51:05.353 --> 00:51:08.648
Is it a good sign when the audience
is covering their face during a show?

885
00:51:08.732 --> 00:51:10.484
[audience laughs]

886
00:51:11.193 --> 00:51:14.362
I didn't know about mental health.
I'm learning about it now.

887
00:51:14.446 --> 00:51:15.989
I know about crazy.

888
00:51:16.072 --> 00:51:19.201
Now, crazy, I grew up with crazy.
I've seen crazy, growing up.

889
00:51:19.284 --> 00:51:20.786
But crazy is different.

890
00:51:21.286 --> 00:51:23.371
'Cause there ain't no medicine for crazy.

891
00:51:23.997 --> 00:51:26.291
Ain't no compassion for crazy.

892
00:51:26.374 --> 00:51:28.043
You know what you get for crazy?

893
00:51:28.126 --> 00:51:29.169
A nickname.

894
00:51:30.629 --> 00:51:33.048
And that nickname's
whatever your name already is

895
00:51:33.131 --> 00:51:34.883
with the word "crazy" in front of it.

896
00:51:34.966 --> 00:51:36.927
[audience laughing, clapping]

897
00:51:37.010 --> 00:51:39.888
If your name is Joe, you're Crazy Joe.

898
00:51:40.972 --> 00:51:43.642
That shit is not to help you,
it's to warn others.

899
00:51:46.144 --> 00:51:48.146
"Crazy Joe's wearing
his trench coat in July.

900
00:51:48.230 --> 00:51:49.815
Maybe we should cross the street."

901
00:51:54.486 --> 00:51:57.948
In fact, the only time I heard the phrase
"mental health"

902
00:51:58.657 --> 00:52:01.409
is when a white guy does something
fucking crazy.

903
00:52:02.410 --> 00:52:05.956
Then you hear all about mental health.
I don't care how crazy that shit is.

904
00:52:06.039 --> 00:52:08.333
A white guy could shoot up
a whole office building,

905
00:52:08.416 --> 00:52:11.419
the first thing they ask on the news,
"What was his mental health?"

906
00:52:12.003 --> 00:52:13.839
Bad! I'm gonna say bad.

907
00:52:13.922 --> 00:52:15.215
[audience laughing]

908
00:52:15.298 --> 00:52:16.258
Put the puzzle away.

909
00:52:16.341 --> 00:52:19.344
This motherfucker
shot up an office he don't work at.

910
00:52:24.391 --> 00:52:26.184
All the shootings and violence

911
00:52:26.268 --> 00:52:28.520
that you hear about
in Black neighborhoods...

912
00:52:29.354 --> 00:52:31.231
that make you so afraid of us...

913
00:52:31.773 --> 00:52:35.443
you've never heard anybody
ask anything about mental health.

914
00:52:36.486 --> 00:52:37.946
You've never heard...

915
00:52:38.029 --> 00:52:39.489
[audience applauding]

916
00:52:39.573 --> 00:52:40.490
It's true.

917
00:52:45.245 --> 00:52:48.540
You never heard them on the news say,
"Two Crips shoot up a liquor store

918
00:52:48.623 --> 00:52:51.042
after a long battle with OCD."

919
00:52:51.126 --> 00:52:53.128
[audience laughing]

920
00:52:55.463 --> 00:52:56.840
It's not supposed to be funny,

921
00:52:56.923 --> 00:52:59.259
that's just what I think
a Crip would have, is OCD.

922
00:53:00.218 --> 00:53:03.471
It's a grown-ass man who refuses
to wear anything that's not blue.

923
00:53:03.555 --> 00:53:05.557
[audience laughing]

924
00:53:06.725 --> 00:53:09.728
"Ain't nothing wrong with that nigga,
nigga just hate red.

925
00:53:09.811 --> 00:53:11.313
Don't like his ears touched."

926
00:53:17.736 --> 00:53:20.196
But now,
they're looking into Black mental health.

927
00:53:20.822 --> 00:53:22.324
It's a fucking different day.

928
00:53:23.450 --> 00:53:26.411
There was a tennis player,
Naomi Osaka, right?

929
00:53:26.494 --> 00:53:29.122
[audience cheering, applauding]

930
00:53:31.958 --> 00:53:35.003
She took a mental health break
from the French Open.

931
00:53:35.086 --> 00:53:36.630
That's fucking crazy.

932
00:53:36.713 --> 00:53:38.006
I never heard of that.

933
00:53:39.424 --> 00:53:42.969
Simone Biles took a mental health break
from the Olympics.

934
00:53:43.053 --> 00:53:45.680
[audience cheering, applauding]

935
00:53:48.016 --> 00:53:52.854
I know you're clapping, but do you realize
how progressive that shit actually is?

936
00:53:52.938 --> 00:53:54.940
[audience cheering]

937
00:53:55.982 --> 00:53:59.361
You can't even take a mental health break
from the Special Olympics.

938
00:53:59.444 --> 00:54:01.446
[audience laughing]

939
00:54:16.044 --> 00:54:20.090
Niggas get mental health breaks now.
This is fucking awesome news.

940
00:54:20.173 --> 00:54:22.425
Not just mental health, for anything.

941
00:54:22.509 --> 00:54:24.260
We could be bipolar...

942
00:54:25.345 --> 00:54:27.430
Didn't Kanye say he's bipolar?

943
00:54:28.682 --> 00:54:32.102
He doesn't have to worry about
being attacked by a bear any time soon.

944
00:54:32.185 --> 00:54:34.187
[audience laughing]

945
00:54:40.568 --> 00:54:42.529
Niggas have anxiety now.

946
00:54:44.114 --> 00:54:47.283
You know how white a lady
you had to be to get anxiety before?

947
00:54:47.367 --> 00:54:49.369
[audience laughing]

948
00:54:50.870 --> 00:54:53.415
Now I could get it too. Thanks, Obama.

949
00:54:53.498 --> 00:54:57.544
[audience laughing, applauding]

950
00:54:59.379 --> 00:55:01.214
This is an incredible time.

951
00:55:01.965 --> 00:55:05.093
I know a nigga diagnosed with depression.
I'm so proud of him.

952
00:55:05.176 --> 00:55:07.470
[audience laughing]

953
00:55:07.554 --> 00:55:09.889
That's the most privileged disease of all.

954
00:55:11.599 --> 00:55:13.685
White people hate when I say that shit.

955
00:55:14.894 --> 00:55:17.147
I say depression is a privileged disease

956
00:55:17.230 --> 00:55:19.607
because it implies
your life is good enough

957
00:55:19.691 --> 00:55:21.359
that you shouldn't be sad.

958
00:55:21.443 --> 00:55:23.445
[audience laughing]

959
00:55:26.031 --> 00:55:28.658
[audience applauding, cheering]

960
00:55:30.994 --> 00:55:33.496
That's not something Black people
could claim for years.

961
00:55:33.580 --> 00:55:35.540
I don't know if you guys
are history buffs.

962
00:55:36.875 --> 00:55:38.585
Imagine two slaves in a cotton field,

963
00:55:38.668 --> 00:55:41.212
and one of them was like,
"Hey, man, what's wrong?

964
00:55:41.296 --> 00:55:43.298
[audience laughing]

965
00:55:45.467 --> 00:55:47.010
You seem down."

966
00:55:52.932 --> 00:55:56.102
"Yeah, master says
I got seasonal depression.

967
00:55:56.186 --> 00:55:58.813
[audience laughing, clapping]

968
00:56:01.399 --> 00:56:04.861
He said these pills are gonna take
my cotton-picking blues away."

969
00:56:12.827 --> 00:56:14.204
Imagine that. Right?

970
00:56:15.205 --> 00:56:20.668
All these years in this fucking country,
400 years of bullshit.

971
00:56:21.711 --> 00:56:23.421
And Black people...

972
00:56:24.130 --> 00:56:27.175
finally have mental health issues.

973
00:56:28.635 --> 00:56:30.345
What a coincidence.

974
00:56:31.638 --> 00:56:35.850
You know why I think they don't like
to diagnose Black mental health?

975
00:56:36.643 --> 00:56:38.937
'Cause then they'd have to tell us

976
00:56:39.020 --> 00:56:41.731
what's making us so fucking sick
in the first place.

977
00:56:42.273 --> 00:56:44.901
[audience cheering, applauding]

978
00:56:49.572 --> 00:56:51.825
I don't want this show to end sad.

979
00:56:53.159 --> 00:56:55.203
Don't you hate when comedy ends sad?

980
00:56:55.286 --> 00:56:56.579
[audience cheers]

981
00:56:56.663 --> 00:56:59.332
Feel like a fucking Lizzo post
or something.

982
00:56:59.415 --> 00:57:01.835
[audience laughing]

983
00:57:03.920 --> 00:57:05.922
[audience applauding]

984
00:57:07.549 --> 00:57:11.386
I remember my ex told me something--
This is the last time I'll bring her up.

985
00:57:11.469 --> 00:57:13.263
[audience laughs]

986
00:57:14.222 --> 00:57:19.435
One time she said, "I can't expect
the thing that's making me sick

987
00:57:19.519 --> 00:57:21.020
to make me better."

988
00:57:23.857 --> 00:57:26.067
And, uh, I said...

989
00:57:26.151 --> 00:57:27.944
"What are you,
on your period or something?"

990
00:57:28.027 --> 00:57:30.655
[audience laughing, clapping]

991
00:57:34.993 --> 00:57:37.036
All right. Let's cut it. Good night.

992
00:57:37.120 --> 00:57:39.747
[audience cheering, applauding]

993
00:57:42.542 --> 00:57:45.170
[cheering, applause continues]





