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Downloaded from
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Official YIFY movies site:
YTS.MX

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<i>It is considered useful</i>

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<i>and enlightening and therapeutic</i>

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<i>to think about death
for a few minutes a day.</i>

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<i>What actually happens
to my physical remains</i>

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<i>is of zero interest to me.</i>

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I don't want anybody seeing
my body, I don't want anybody...

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I don't want a party.

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"Reported dead."

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Unless it could provide
entertainment value to...

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I mean, in a perverse
or subversive way, you know.

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I mean, if you could throw me
into a wood chipper and punt...

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You know, spray me into harrods,

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you know, at, uh,

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you know,
middle of the rush hour,

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that would be pretty epic.

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I wouldn't mind being
remembered in that way.

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♪ One, two, three, four,
five, six ♪

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♪ roadrunner, roadrunner ♪

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♪ going faster miles an hour ♪

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♪ gonna drive past
the stop & shop ♪

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♪ with the radio on ♪

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♪ I'm in love
with Massachusetts ♪

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♪ and the neon
when it's cold outside ♪

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♪ and the highway
when it's late at night ♪

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♪ got the radio on ♪

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♪ I'm like the roadrunner... ♪

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<i>What the fuck am I doing here?</i>

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<i>I shall explain.</i>

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<i>One minute I was standing
next to a deep fryer,</i>

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<i>and the next, I was watching
the sun set over the Sahara.</i>

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♪ I'm in love with
modern moonlight... ♪

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<i>I realized that one thing
led directly to the other.</i>

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<i>Had I not taken
a dead-end dishwashing job,</i>

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<i>I would not have become a cook.</i>

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<i>Had I not become a cook, I
would never have become a chef.</i>

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<i>Had I not become a chef,
I never would've been able</i>

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<i>to fuck up so spectacularly.</i>

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<i>Had I not known what
it was like to really fuck up,</i>

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<i>that obnoxious but wildly
successful memoir I wrote</i>

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<i>wouldn't have been
half as interesting.</i>

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♪ And I say roadrunner once,
roadrunner twice ♪

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♪ I'm in love with
rock and roll ♪

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♪ and I'll be out all night ♪

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♪ roadrunner, that's right... ♪

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<i>And I'm not gonna tell you here
how to live your life.</i>

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<i>I'm just saying, I guess,
that I got very lucky.</i>

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♪ Radio on ♪

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- ♪ I got the am ♪
- ♪ radio on ♪

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♪ got the car, got the am ♪

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♪ radio on ♪

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♪ got the am sound ♪

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- ♪ got the ♪
- ♪ radio on ♪

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♪ got the rockin'
modern neon sound ♪

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♪ radio on ♪

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♪ I got the car
from Massachusetts ♪

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- ♪ got the ♪
- ♪ radio on ♪

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♪ I got the power
of Massachusetts ♪

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♪ when it's late at night ♪

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♪ right ♪

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♪ bye-bye. ♪

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<i>You're probably gonna
find out about it anyway,</i>

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<i>so here's a little
preemptive truth telling.</i>

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<i>There's no happy ending.</i>

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<i>He committed
suicide, the fucking asshole.</i>

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How are you gonna make this?

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Is it... is this gonna... I mean...

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Of course what you want
to talk about,

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that's kind of where the gossip
goes, that's kind of...

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But it's not really
what you want to make.

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No, I want to make a film about

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why he was... who he was.

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You know.

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I don't know.
That's why I'm here.

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Do you know what I mean?

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That's why I'm here.

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Hi. This is Tony at les halles,
411 park Avenue south,

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for delivery Monday please.

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I need one Spanish onion,
one loose carrot,

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two shallot unpeeled,

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one case frozen fava bean
and one case miel de provence.

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That'll do it. Thank you.

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Where is my fucking fish?

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I would never be late.

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My cooks would never be late.

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How can the fish guy be late?

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It's why all chefs are drunks.

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It's because we don't understand

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why the world doesn't work
like our kitchens.

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<i>- Oh, hold on.
- If you guys are hun...</i>

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It's just baba ghanoush. It's...

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I mean, it's not
a very nice display,

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- I know Tony.
- Cool.

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Thanks, baby.

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- What would you like?
- Um...

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- Apple juice.
- Apple juice? Apple juice?

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Or cranberry. I don't care.
Whatever we have more of.

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Happiness is a fresh pack.

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First thing in the morning.

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I mean, before I brush my teeth.

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I mean, I roll out of bed,
light a cigarette,

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stumble into this room,
and, uh, I start,

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uh, I start writing immediately.

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<i>I always use language
to get out of trouble.</i>

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<i>You know,
I found at an early age,</i>

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<i>if I made everybody
in the class laugh,</i>

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that was power.

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<i>I came from a household
with a lot of books.</i>

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<i>In fact, the first book
I remember reading was</i>

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<i>a book called</i>
why Johnny can't read,

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<i>which I stole from my mother.</i>

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<i>She was anticipating
that I would have</i>

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<i>a difficulty reading
because I was already exhibiting</i>

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<i>antisocial tendencies.</i>

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Uh, I pinched the book and,
uh, basically taught myself

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to read, uh, by kindergarten.

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<i>And then, you know,
my early heroes</i>

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<i>were, uh, musicians
and-and writers.</i>

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<i>The idea that you could
have adventures,</i>

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<i>no matter how antisocial,
and then make them</i>

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<i>somehow legitimate by writing
something beautiful about them,</i>

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<i>that concept took
an early hold on me.</i>

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<i>I wasn't serious enough
about anything</i>

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<i>to actually do any writing
until '93.</i>

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<i>But, you know, when I was given
the opportunity, I did it,</i>

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<i>and, you know, kept doing it.</i>

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The whole business
fills me with terror, frankly.

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Hey.

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How are you doing, man?

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- You guys know each other by now.
- Yes.

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Let me see if Rocco's over.

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<i>What was it about Tony
with big knives?</i>

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They were never sharp enough.

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You know, he's...
He'd just always...

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<i>When he came over
for Thanksgiving, uh,</i>

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<i>I was gonna carve the Turkey,
and then he took over.</i>

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<i>He was very short with me about</i>

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<i>how I wasn't taking care
of my knives.</i>

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- Hey.
- Tony saw you when you were just born.

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Remember that?

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<i>My relationship with Tony</i>

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<i>has always been as a writer.</i>

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He was such a powerful writer
right from the start.

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<i>He was on business in Tokyo
for the first time.</i>

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<i>And he was writing me
a series of emails.</i>

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<i>He was back in his room,
and he-he did</i>

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one of those bursts.

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<i>"The jet lag
wouldn't let me sleep,</i>

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<i>"so I crashed late
and Rose early,</i>

151
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<i>"plunging blindly down
dark streets at all hours.</i>

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<i>"The streets were unbelievably
dense with pedestrians,</i>

153
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<i>"people hanging around,
flashing neon,</i>

154
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<i>"flapping banners,
more screaming signs,</i>

155
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<i>"pimpy-looking young men in
suits and patent leather shoes</i>

156
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<i>"surrounded by
dye-blonde Asian women</i>

157
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<i>"in thigh-high boots
and micro-mini skirts.</i>

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<i>"No one, and I mean no one,
would meet my eye</i>

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<i>"with a direct gaze.</i>

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<i>"I was the quiet American,
the ugly American,</i>

161
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<i>"the hungry ghost,
searching and searching</i>

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<i>for whatever came next."</i>

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I loved it. I loved it,

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<i>and my wife Karen,
who was a book publisher,</i>

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<i>was in the living room
breastfeeding the baby.</i>

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<i>I printed out the email</i>

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and I went,
"Karen, you have to read this."

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Am I allowed to curse?

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Does anybody curse
when they talk about this?

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I read it and I just went,
"that is fucking awesome."

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I was like, "okay",

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<i>I'm gonna make him an offer</i>

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<i>"basically he can't
fucking refuse."</i>

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He came back
and then we sat down.

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I said, "so Joel tells me,

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you know,
you have a lot of stories."

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And he goes,
"I have so many stories.

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I'm so excited to tell them."

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He said, "I already have
a title for it."

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00:09:01.067 --> 00:09:02.335
I said, "what's the title?"

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00:09:02.368 --> 00:09:03.646
And he said,
<i>"kitchen confidential."</i>

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And I said,
"I love it. Let's do it."

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What do you think
about Tony bourdain anyway?

184
00:09:07.440 --> 00:09:09.342
Yeah, what do you
think about that guy?

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He's cool. Huh?

186
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<i>It was like,
"will you write this book?"</i>

187
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"Yes."

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"Can you write it
in eight months?"

189
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"You're damn right I will."

190
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<i>You know, you should talk</i>

191
00:09:24.057 --> 00:09:25.391
to Tony's agent,

192
00:09:25.425 --> 00:09:27.126
<i>Kim Witherspoon.</i>

193
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<i>I don't think
Tony was afraid of failure,</i>

194
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<i>and that was hard-wired.</i>

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He was the kind of person
who thought,

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"well, you know, what the fuck?

197
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Let's just try it
and see how it turns out."

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00:09:36.636 --> 00:09:38.705
<i>Anthony bourdain,
who has worked as a chef</i>

199
00:09:38.738 --> 00:09:41.641
<i>for 28 years, reveals
some surprising and disturbing</i>

200
00:09:41.674 --> 00:09:44.777
<i>trade secrets in a new book</i>
<i>called</i> kitchen confidential.

201
00:09:44.811 --> 00:09:46.513
<i>Chef Anthony says the truth</i>

202
00:09:46.546 --> 00:09:48.114
about bread in a restaurant,

203
00:09:48.147 --> 00:09:49.792
how you should prepare
your meat when you order it,

204
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and also the truth about fish

205
00:09:51.551 --> 00:09:53.286
<i>could make you sick.</i>

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I was in a cranky mood
after my last restaurant closed

207
00:09:55.622 --> 00:09:59.192
and, uh, felt no reason
not to tell the truth about

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a business I both love and,
uh, have mixed emotions about.

209
00:10:03.429 --> 00:10:06.266
Kitchen confidential <i>is a memoir</i>

210
00:10:06.299 --> 00:10:09.669
<i>of Tony's life in the kitchen
and the salty adventures</i>

211
00:10:09.702 --> 00:10:11.638
<i>that he had with his cooks.</i>

212
00:10:11.671 --> 00:10:13.606
It was kind of lawless.

213
00:10:13.640 --> 00:10:16.543
You know, a lot was broken,
as Tony used to say.

214
00:10:16.576 --> 00:10:20.413
<i>Mr. Bourdain is the
executive chef at les halles.</i>

215
00:10:20.446 --> 00:10:21.414
<i>He found success</i>

216
00:10:21.447 --> 00:10:24.717
and a full-blown heroin habit
at an early age.

217
00:10:24.751 --> 00:10:28.288
<i>I had a dope problem,
a cocaine problem,</i>

218
00:10:28.321 --> 00:10:31.491
<i>but by '88, I pretty much
cleaned up my act.</i>

219
00:10:34.227 --> 00:10:36.829
The dietary supplement
that every chef needs.

220
00:10:36.863 --> 00:10:38.798
I take around ten
of these a day.

221
00:10:38.831 --> 00:10:41.234
It's an aspirin/tylenol mix.

222
00:10:45.605 --> 00:10:47.240
Call 'em crunchies.

223
00:10:47.273 --> 00:10:49.309
Let me take you
on a notional joyride

224
00:10:49.342 --> 00:10:50.577
through our menu tonight.

225
00:10:50.610 --> 00:10:53.713
We have grilled salmon
with sorrel sauce.

226
00:10:53.746 --> 00:10:55.281
Veal kidneys.

227
00:10:55.315 --> 00:10:57.350
These kidneys are
really good, by the way.

228
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Those of you into water sports
will find much to love.

229
00:11:00.486 --> 00:11:02.722
<i>From the first time
I met him, I remember thinking,</i>

230
00:11:02.755 --> 00:11:05.725
<i>"oh, wow, you're, like, tall
and handsome and funny.</i>

231
00:11:05.758 --> 00:11:07.727
"But you're kind of a big nerd.

232
00:11:07.760 --> 00:11:09.295
"You're nerding out
on everything,

233
00:11:09.329 --> 00:11:10.597
and you're a little awkward,"

234
00:11:10.630 --> 00:11:13.299
<i>and I love that about him.</i>

235
00:11:14.434 --> 00:11:16.903
<i>"At les halles,
life goes on as always,</i>

236
00:11:16.937 --> 00:11:19.839
<i>"the same crew showing up
on time every day.</i>

237
00:11:19.872 --> 00:11:21.341
<i>"Eddy,</i>

238
00:11:21.374 --> 00:11:23.610
<i>"Carlos and Omar,
isidoro and angel.</i>

239
00:11:23.643 --> 00:11:26.179
<i>"They're still with me,
and I hope they stay with me.</i>

240
00:11:26.212 --> 00:11:28.514
<i>"My bosses, however,
when they read this,</i>

241
00:11:28.548 --> 00:11:30.516
<i>"will really prove themselves
patrons of the arts</i>

242
00:11:30.550 --> 00:11:32.585
<i>if they don't can me
right away."</i>

243
00:11:33.886 --> 00:11:35.254
<i>So you didn't fire him?</i>

244
00:11:35.288 --> 00:11:36.422
<i>I didn't fire him.</i>

245
00:11:36.456 --> 00:11:38.524
I didn't know it
was being written.

246
00:11:38.558 --> 00:11:40.393
I didn't know
it was going to be published.

247
00:11:40.426 --> 00:11:42.328
<i>Uh, one day, I arrived
at the restaurant,</i>

248
00:11:42.362 --> 00:11:44.530
and I just said,
"what happened?"

249
00:11:45.398 --> 00:11:47.533
You're fucking kidding me.

250
00:11:48.534 --> 00:11:52.372
I was told today that on, I
guess, the 12th of this month,

251
00:11:52.405 --> 00:11:54.774
it'll be number seven
on the <i>times</i> best seller list.

252
00:11:54.807 --> 00:11:57.644
'Cause it was on 20,
wasn't it? And then, uh...

253
00:11:57.677 --> 00:11:59.379
I mean, I'm getting
congratulatory calls,

254
00:11:59.412 --> 00:12:02.215
and they're telling me
I have a best seller.

255
00:12:02.248 --> 00:12:03.816
Uh, really, it's scary.

256
00:12:03.850 --> 00:12:05.785
No, it's exciting.
It's wonderful.

257
00:12:05.818 --> 00:12:07.955
Yeah, I just...

258
00:12:07.988 --> 00:12:10.189
Anything that happens
beyond that door

259
00:12:10.223 --> 00:12:12.592
I'm suspicious of.

260
00:12:13.693 --> 00:12:15.662
<i>He was always
behind in the rent,</i>

261
00:12:15.695 --> 00:12:17.965
<i>always behind his,
you know, payments</i>

262
00:12:17.998 --> 00:12:21.234
<i>and-and-and living
from paycheck to paycheck,</i>

263
00:12:21.267 --> 00:12:22.735
<i>like in a pressure cooker.</i>

264
00:12:22.769 --> 00:12:25.805
So when there was this
opportunity, he-he was ready.

265
00:12:33.446 --> 00:12:35.348
<i>"By the time I was 43,</i>

266
00:12:35.381 --> 00:12:37.684
<i>"I really thought that I had
had all my great adventures,</i>

267
00:12:37.717 --> 00:12:40.420
<i>"that the entertainment
and excitement segment</i>

268
00:12:40.453 --> 00:12:42.655
<i>of the program was long over."</i>

269
00:12:45.458 --> 00:12:47.560
- What's up?
- Thank you.

270
00:12:49.796 --> 00:12:50.931
That was cool.

271
00:12:50.964 --> 00:12:52.598
<i>"I was comfortably ensconced</i>

272
00:12:52.632 --> 00:12:54.534
<i>"in secure digs with a wife
who still remarkably</i>

273
00:12:54.567 --> 00:12:56.736
<i>found me to be amusing
on occasion."</i>

274
00:12:56.769 --> 00:12:58.939
What? What are you doing?
You're giving interviews?

275
00:12:58.972 --> 00:13:00.373
What are you... you media hoe.

276
00:13:00.406 --> 00:13:01.942
<i>"I had a job I loved in</i>

277
00:13:01.975 --> 00:13:04.253
<i>"a successful restaurant, and
I was alive, for Christ's sakes.</i>

278
00:13:04.277 --> 00:13:06.412
<i>I was still around."</i>

279
00:13:08.982 --> 00:13:10.984
<i>I don't cook at home.</i>

280
00:13:11.018 --> 00:13:13.720
I-I just... I'm too, uh...
I would love to tell you,

281
00:13:13.753 --> 00:13:15.354
you know, I go home and-and cook

282
00:13:15.388 --> 00:13:17.724
fabulous, uh, little snackies
for-for my wife.

283
00:13:17.757 --> 00:13:19.792
I would be lying if I told you that.

284
00:13:19.826 --> 00:13:22.462
It's more like,
"honey, call out for Chinese."

285
00:13:26.632 --> 00:13:28.768
<i>"There are, it turns out,
a million ways</i>

286
00:13:28.801 --> 00:13:29.970
"to say 'suck my dick.'

287
00:13:30.003 --> 00:13:31.637
"and like
all great performances,

288
00:13:31.671 --> 00:13:34.340
"it's about timing,
tone and delivery,

289
00:13:34.373 --> 00:13:35.775
kind of like cooking."

290
00:13:35.808 --> 00:13:38.444
Thanks.

291
00:13:39.645 --> 00:13:42.515
<i>You know, all the TV chefs are</i>

292
00:13:42.548 --> 00:13:44.350
so cuddly and adorable,
you know.

293
00:13:44.383 --> 00:13:45.894
Maybe I'm the... sort of like
the antidote or something.

294
00:13:45.918 --> 00:13:47.787
You know? I don't know.

295
00:13:52.859 --> 00:13:54.560
<i>For me, it happened overnight.</i>

296
00:13:54.594 --> 00:13:56.371
<i>I mean, one minute,
I was a cook at a restaurant,</i>

297
00:13:56.395 --> 00:13:58.498
<i>and not a particularly
great one, and the next,</i>

298
00:13:58.531 --> 00:14:01.068
<i>I was an author,
and it was literally overnight.</i>

299
00:14:01.101 --> 00:14:02.835
<i>It fell in my lap.</i>

300
00:14:18.351 --> 00:14:20.053
Joining me now
is Anthony bourdain,

301
00:14:20.087 --> 00:14:22.055
author of <i>kitchen confidential.</i>

302
00:14:22.089 --> 00:14:23.389
Anthony bourdain...

303
00:14:23.422 --> 00:14:24.524
Chef Anthony bourdain...

304
00:14:24.557 --> 00:14:25.925
Here's Anthony bourdain.

305
00:14:27.627 --> 00:14:29.529
<i>What-what do you think
about these guys</i>

306
00:14:29.562 --> 00:14:32.465
- like emeril lagasse and those guys on the food network?
- Wow.

307
00:14:32.498 --> 00:14:33.800
Y-You're asking me to, you know,

308
00:14:33.833 --> 00:14:35.802
kick Santa claus in the crotch
on television.

309
00:14:35.835 --> 00:14:37.370
I mean...

310
00:14:38.071 --> 00:14:39.672
My life gets
more and more ridiculous.

311
00:14:39.705 --> 00:14:41.550
Apparently, Brad Pitt will be
playing me in a movie.

312
00:14:41.574 --> 00:14:43.342
Yeah, guess what's,
uh, tomorrow.

313
00:14:43.376 --> 00:14:45.812
- What's tomorrow?
- Oprah.

314
00:14:45.845 --> 00:14:47.747
No! You're kidding me!

315
00:14:47.780 --> 00:14:49.515
This is Anthony bourdain.

316
00:14:49.549 --> 00:14:51.350
His book <i>kitchen confidential</i>

317
00:14:51.384 --> 00:14:52.885
is a <i>New York times</i> best seller.

318
00:14:53.820 --> 00:14:55.788
<i>I was born to cook.</i>

319
00:14:55.822 --> 00:14:58.391
<i>I loved satisfying
people's appetites.</i>

320
00:14:58.424 --> 00:15:00.459
Next, I'll be, uh, doing
the lambada with emeril.

321
00:15:00.493 --> 00:15:01.494
Bam! Just a little...

322
00:15:03.997 --> 00:15:05.431
I'd hate myself.

323
00:15:32.159 --> 00:15:33.593
Thanks.

324
00:15:38.664 --> 00:15:41.001
Oh! Whoa!

325
00:15:41.034 --> 00:15:43.603
- Ah.
- Tony bourdain rocks!

326
00:15:43.636 --> 00:15:46.006
What's up, man? Everything good?

327
00:15:46.039 --> 00:15:47.440
- Life is good.
- Yes, yes.

328
00:15:47.473 --> 00:15:48.741
We're celebrating Tony's book.

329
00:15:48.774 --> 00:15:50.509
- Come here, girl. Get in here.
- Hi.

330
00:15:50.543 --> 00:15:51.811
- How you doing?
- Good.

331
00:15:51.844 --> 00:15:53.646
- This is Tony.
- Hi.

332
00:15:53.679 --> 00:15:54.982
- Howdy.
- Oh, congratulations.

333
00:15:55.015 --> 00:15:56.116
We're having a good time.

334
00:15:56.149 --> 00:15:57.583
Oh, oh, the next one?

335
00:15:57.617 --> 00:15:59.485
No, the next one,
I'm doing something called

336
00:15:59.518 --> 00:16:00.753
<i>a cook's tour.</i>

337
00:16:00.786 --> 00:16:02.655
Basically, I'm gonna
travel around the world,

338
00:16:02.688 --> 00:16:04.067
eating exotic food and having
adventures in the far east

339
00:16:04.091 --> 00:16:07.027
and Africa and South America...

340
00:16:07.060 --> 00:16:08.561
With a crew chasing me.

341
00:16:08.594 --> 00:16:10.496
<i>Hey, John, come here.</i>

342
00:16:13.200 --> 00:16:14.901
<i>You know, my 15 minutes of</i>

343
00:16:14.935 --> 00:16:17.938
<i>quote, unquote "fame,"
uh, you know, when that's over,</i>

344
00:16:17.971 --> 00:16:20.706
uh, I will be perfectly
comfortable with that,

345
00:16:20.740 --> 00:16:22.109
if not relieved.

346
00:16:22.142 --> 00:16:23.876
I think even relieved
at this point.

347
00:16:23.910 --> 00:16:27.813
<i>When I met him
for the first time,</i>

348
00:16:27.847 --> 00:16:31.184
he had made a splash with
<i>kitchen confidential.</i>

349
00:16:31.218 --> 00:16:33.886
<i>I had read
that he had a contract</i>

350
00:16:33.920 --> 00:16:36.889
<i>to write a second book</i>
<i>called</i> a cook's tour,

351
00:16:36.923 --> 00:16:38.791
and I called him.

352
00:16:39.993 --> 00:16:41.228
- Yes?
- <i>And I said,</i>

353
00:16:41.261 --> 00:16:42.996
- <i>"hey, I'm a producer."</i>
- Doing good.

354
00:16:43.030 --> 00:16:44.530
<i>"Would you ever even consider</i>

355
00:16:44.563 --> 00:16:47.566
<i>making</i> cook's tour
<i>into a series?"</i>

356
00:16:47.600 --> 00:16:49.202
<i>And he, you know,
he was like, you know,</i>

357
00:16:49.236 --> 00:16:50.938
"yeah, uh, whatever."

358
00:16:50.971 --> 00:16:52.638
- <i>You know? "Sure."</i>
- Sure.

359
00:16:52.672 --> 00:16:55.675
<i>He was very nonplussed
about the whole idea</i>

360
00:16:55.708 --> 00:16:57.677
<i>of doing anything in television.</i>

361
00:16:57.710 --> 00:16:59.947
<i>It was not what was on his mind.</i>

362
00:16:59.980 --> 00:17:01.447
Bye-bye.

363
00:17:03.582 --> 00:17:05.085
<i>A week and a half later,</i>

364
00:17:05.118 --> 00:17:06.519
Chris Collins and I

365
00:17:06.552 --> 00:17:09.089
<i>went up to les halles.</i>

366
00:17:09.122 --> 00:17:10.890
<i>We found Tony,</i>

367
00:17:10.923 --> 00:17:13.193
<i>shot a demo with him</i>

368
00:17:13.226 --> 00:17:14.995
and had a conversation with him.

369
00:17:15.028 --> 00:17:19.532
And it became immediately clear
he had never traveled.

370
00:17:19.565 --> 00:17:23.103
Lydia and I were
far greater world travelers

371
00:17:23.136 --> 00:17:24.237
than Tony bourdain.

372
00:17:24.271 --> 00:17:26.706
His travels were in his head.

373
00:17:26.739 --> 00:17:28.976
<i>You know, I want
to go to faraway exotic places</i>

374
00:17:29.009 --> 00:17:31.711
<i>with palm trees and
where teenagers in army uniforms</i>

375
00:17:31.744 --> 00:17:33.579
<i>carry machine guns.</i>

376
00:17:34.880 --> 00:17:37.850
Growing up as a kid, you know,
I watched <i>the crimson pirate.</i>

377
00:17:37.883 --> 00:17:40.253
<i>You know,
all pirates and bad guys</i>

378
00:17:40.287 --> 00:17:42.655
<i>having great adventures.</i>

379
00:17:48.561 --> 00:17:50.896
<i>Tony's view of the world</i>

380
00:17:50.931 --> 00:17:54.800
<i>emanated from books
and from films.</i>

381
00:17:54.834 --> 00:17:57.270
<i>Almost in an encyclopedic way,</i>

382
00:17:57.304 --> 00:18:00.073
he could grab
all these references.

383
00:18:00.107 --> 00:18:02.742
<i>And I think he was excited</i>

384
00:18:02.775 --> 00:18:04.910
<i>to go on this journey</i>

385
00:18:04.945 --> 00:18:07.747
to see if the reality

386
00:18:07.780 --> 00:18:10.916
actually matched
the imagination.

387
00:18:19.359 --> 00:18:22.295
<i>That moment when we set out</i>

388
00:18:22.329 --> 00:18:26.799
<i>in December of 2000,
it's indelible.</i>

389
00:18:27.800 --> 00:18:30.870
Our first journey
was, um, for six weeks.

390
00:18:30.903 --> 00:18:34.274
And remember,
we'd only spent one...

391
00:18:34.307 --> 00:18:37.177
One day with Tony
leading up to that moment.

392
00:18:42.815 --> 00:18:45.318
<i>The image of Tony,
I mean, it was, I think,</i>

393
00:18:45.352 --> 00:18:47.820
<i>a guy who, at that moment,
was very unsure</i>

394
00:18:47.853 --> 00:18:50.023
<i>of what was about to happen.</i>

395
00:18:51.024 --> 00:18:51.791
This way.

396
00:18:51.824 --> 00:18:53.692
<i>You know, I'm looking at</i>

397
00:18:53.726 --> 00:18:56.096
<i>a strange and, uh,
unpredictable future</i>

398
00:18:56.129 --> 00:18:58.631
<i>in a tough business with rules</i>

399
00:18:58.664 --> 00:19:00.599
that I'm not
com-completely familiar with,

400
00:19:00.633 --> 00:19:03.769
and when I become familiar
with them, I...

401
00:19:03.803 --> 00:19:06.973
You know, I don't know
whether I like them that much.

402
00:19:08.241 --> 00:19:10.643
<i>We hit the road together,</i>

403
00:19:10.676 --> 00:19:12.912
<i>just the three of us.</i>

404
00:19:12.946 --> 00:19:16.216
<i>Lydia and I
had just gotten married.</i>

405
00:19:17.917 --> 00:19:21.221
<i>And then we had Tony,
a guy who we barely knew.</i>

406
00:19:21.254 --> 00:19:23.823
So it was like three idiots

407
00:19:23.856 --> 00:19:25.959
trying to figure each other out.

408
00:19:26.993 --> 00:19:28.962
<i>The first shoot was Japan.</i>

409
00:19:28.995 --> 00:19:30.796
<i>Like, we didn't know
what we were doing.</i>

410
00:19:30.830 --> 00:19:32.731
<i>He definitely didn't know
what he was doing.</i>

411
00:19:32.765 --> 00:19:38.838
<i>And Tony immediately became
uncomfortable and awkward.</i>

412
00:19:39.973 --> 00:19:42.109
<i>What we would find out
very quickly is.</i>

413
00:19:42.142 --> 00:19:45.811
<i>Tony was actually
a very shy human being.</i>

414
00:19:45.845 --> 00:19:50.117
<i>And to get him to make
eye contact or to interact,</i>

415
00:19:50.150 --> 00:19:53.619
<i>it wasn't his natural state.</i>

416
00:19:59.758 --> 00:20:01.794
You know, life
on the road with Tony bourdain

417
00:20:01.827 --> 00:20:03.363
just isn't
all it's cracked up to be.

418
00:20:03.396 --> 00:20:05.031
You know what I mean?

419
00:20:05.065 --> 00:20:09.702
The man can be a royal pain
in the ass sometimes.

420
00:20:09.735 --> 00:20:13.706
In fact, I got this cold sore
on my lip now,

421
00:20:13.739 --> 00:20:16.709
and it's due to stress,

422
00:20:16.742 --> 00:20:21.948
stress over Tony's
lack of communication.

423
00:20:22.815 --> 00:20:24.317
<i>That, compounded by the fact</i>

424
00:20:24.351 --> 00:20:27.287
<i>that we were in Japan
being sort of led into scenes</i>

425
00:20:27.320 --> 00:20:32.292
<i>where there was a lot of,
kind of, formality involved,</i>

426
00:20:32.325 --> 00:20:34.995
<i>you know, all of those
factored into him being</i>

427
00:20:35.028 --> 00:20:36.029
quiet,

428
00:20:36.062 --> 00:20:38.965
which was like
the worst possible thing.

429
00:20:41.201 --> 00:20:43.203
Mmm. Oh, wow.

430
00:20:44.803 --> 00:20:46.705
Spectacular.

431
00:20:46.739 --> 00:20:47.974
<i>I mean, Chris and I went</i>

432
00:20:48.008 --> 00:20:50.043
back to the hotel and basically

433
00:20:50.076 --> 00:20:51.354
looked at each other
and said like...

434
00:20:51.378 --> 00:20:53.313
We're fucked.

435
00:20:58.218 --> 00:21:00.920
Chris, can...
Chris, take a picture of

436
00:21:00.954 --> 00:21:03.756
me and Lydia as we come back
with the sun behind her,

437
00:21:03.789 --> 00:21:06.026
pointing up the mountain
towards the farmhouse

438
00:21:06.059 --> 00:21:09.396
as we walk up past
the yellow triangular sign.

439
00:21:09.429 --> 00:21:11.730
Thank you.

440
00:21:11.764 --> 00:21:13.466
Okay. Here we go.

441
00:21:13.500 --> 00:21:15.035
Okay.

442
00:21:15.068 --> 00:21:17.103
I mean, to be honest,
I'm not totally alone,

443
00:21:17.137 --> 00:21:18.771
'cause clearly somebody is
shooting this.

444
00:21:18.804 --> 00:21:20.349
I always love those,
like, desert scenes,

445
00:21:20.373 --> 00:21:22.108
"I'm alone in the desert."

446
00:21:22.142 --> 00:21:23.876
Yeah, but who else's footprints
are those?

447
00:21:23.909 --> 00:21:27.080
You know, one of those things.
But-but look.

448
00:21:27.113 --> 00:21:30.217
This is pretty cool.

449
00:21:30.250 --> 00:21:32.252
And it does feel pretty cool
to be walking...

450
00:21:32.285 --> 00:21:34.230
Well, I'll tell you this:
I'm having a lot more fun

451
00:21:34.254 --> 00:21:36.489
walking forward than
the cameraperson is

452
00:21:36.523 --> 00:21:38.791
walking backwards, I'm sure.

453
00:21:40.560 --> 00:21:42.062
Was that a groan?

454
00:21:42.095 --> 00:21:43.930
Yes, it was.

455
00:21:43.964 --> 00:21:46.933
<i>We went from Japan to Vietnam.</i>

456
00:21:50.203 --> 00:21:54.873
<i>That's when things started
to kick in to a different gear.</i>

457
00:21:59.546 --> 00:22:01.381
My good friend
Phillipe lajaunie,

458
00:22:01.414 --> 00:22:04.817
uh, pulled in, uh,
semi-unexpectedly last night.

459
00:22:04.850 --> 00:22:07.153
We're ready for, uh,
ready for our adventure?

460
00:22:10.056 --> 00:22:12.025
<i>I joined them</i>

461
00:22:12.058 --> 00:22:15.362
<i>on that first trip in Vietnam,
and he was enjoying himself</i>

462
00:22:15.395 --> 00:22:16.396
and being less cynical.

463
00:22:16.429 --> 00:22:17.530
Hey.

464
00:22:17.564 --> 00:22:19.299
Floating Starbucks over here.

465
00:22:19.332 --> 00:22:23.036
I'll have a double latte,
uh, mochaccino please.

466
00:22:24.271 --> 00:22:25.939
Oh, that's great.

467
00:22:25.972 --> 00:22:27.806
Kicks the shit out of Starbucks.

468
00:22:31.278 --> 00:22:33.146
<i>"I love Vietnam.</i>

469
00:22:33.179 --> 00:22:35.881
<i>"Maybe it's a pheromonic thing,
like when you meet</i>

470
00:22:35.914 --> 00:22:37.584
<i>"the love of your life
for the first time.</i>

471
00:22:37.617 --> 00:22:39.953
<i>"She just, somehow,</i>

472
00:22:39.986 --> 00:22:42.956
<i>"inexplicably smells
and feels right.</i>

473
00:22:42.989 --> 00:22:46.026
<i>"You sense that, given the
opportunity, this is the woman</i>

474
00:22:46.059 --> 00:22:48.395
<i>you want to spend
the rest of your life with."</i>

475
00:22:49.462 --> 00:22:51.965
<i>We had common desire</i>

476
00:22:51.998 --> 00:22:54.467
to spend time in Vietnam,
maybe forever.

477
00:22:54.501 --> 00:22:57.870
<i>That was our secret bond.</i>

478
00:22:59.005 --> 00:23:01.508
<i>And of course, the movie</i>
apocalypse now

479
00:23:01.541 --> 00:23:03.310
<i>was one of his top</i>

480
00:23:03.343 --> 00:23:04.577
three movies in his life,

481
00:23:04.611 --> 00:23:07.347
<i>uh, because it combined
so many things:</i>

482
00:23:07.380 --> 00:23:10.283
Vietnam and the war and-and the
book, the <i>heart of darkness.</i>

483
00:23:11.951 --> 00:23:13.586
<i>We just started doing</i>

484
00:23:13.620 --> 00:23:15.888
<i>all of this
self-indulgent film references,</i>

485
00:23:15.921 --> 00:23:17.624
<i>and I suddenly realized,
"wait a minute.</i>

486
00:23:17.657 --> 00:23:20.193
<i>This-this filmmaking thing
can be fun."</i>

487
00:23:20.226 --> 00:23:23.596
♪ Ah! ♪

488
00:23:23.630 --> 00:23:26.333
<i>You know, it's a big crayon box.</i>

489
00:23:26.366 --> 00:23:27.967
<i>We can actually enjoy this.</i>

490
00:23:28.001 --> 00:23:30.236
Why am I here? Am I insane?

491
00:23:32.639 --> 00:23:34.541
<i>You know, he used to say,</i>

492
00:23:34.574 --> 00:23:36.242
<i>"don't ever let me do TV.</i>

493
00:23:36.276 --> 00:23:39.012
Thing is like, if I ever do TV,
shoot me."

494
00:23:39.045 --> 00:23:42.015
<i>And, you know,
at first, it was awful.</i>

495
00:23:42.048 --> 00:23:43.483
Where do cooks come from?

496
00:23:43.516 --> 00:23:46.919
<i>The answer to this
and other questions to follow.</i>

497
00:23:46.953 --> 00:23:48.355
And then very quickly...

498
00:23:48.388 --> 00:23:50.623
He's such a good student,
he's so freaking smart...

499
00:23:50.657 --> 00:23:52.092
He, like, figured it out.

500
00:23:52.125 --> 00:23:54.361
Chris, Lydia, I love you.

501
00:23:54.394 --> 00:23:55.894
You know that, right?

502
00:23:55.929 --> 00:23:57.931
But I got one night
in Bangkok here, okay?

503
00:23:57.964 --> 00:24:00.100
So not even 24 hours
we're laying over here.

504
00:24:00.133 --> 00:24:03.002
You want to do a whole
goddamn show in 24 hours?

505
00:24:03.036 --> 00:24:04.137
Fine. Okay?

506
00:24:04.170 --> 00:24:06.973
But... forget about
blocking out.

507
00:24:07.006 --> 00:24:09.242
No plan and you better be fast.

508
00:24:09.275 --> 00:24:12.145
I'm gonna have a good time.
We're gonna roll.

509
00:24:13.246 --> 00:24:15.115
And if you don't get it,
you don't get it.

510
00:24:15.148 --> 00:24:18.051
<i>Catch it in editing,
as we like to say.</i>

511
00:24:20.153 --> 00:24:21.654
<i>What started to grow</i>

512
00:24:21.688 --> 00:24:24.023
<i>at that moment
was this understanding,</i>

513
00:24:24.057 --> 00:24:26.925
<i>"Tony, you don't need
to tell us everything.</i>

514
00:24:26.960 --> 00:24:28.471
"You need to experience this
and ask questions.

515
00:24:28.495 --> 00:24:30.597
"That's how we're all
gonna learn from this place.

516
00:24:30.630 --> 00:24:33.166
<i>"It's not
you being a travel guide.</i>

517
00:24:33.199 --> 00:24:36.035
<i>It's you being open
to this experience."</i>

518
00:24:37.036 --> 00:24:38.271
Oh, Jesus.

519
00:24:38.304 --> 00:24:39.406
Look at this.

520
00:24:39.439 --> 00:24:40.940
Look at this thing.

521
00:24:40.974 --> 00:24:42.551
Look at the roe
just popping out everywhere.

522
00:24:42.575 --> 00:24:44.144
Just in... whoa! Whoa.

523
00:24:44.177 --> 00:24:45.712
Come back. Come to papa.

524
00:24:45.745 --> 00:24:47.180
If there is any dish

525
00:24:47.213 --> 00:24:49.015
that comes closest
to perfection,

526
00:24:49.048 --> 00:24:50.517
this is it, you know.

527
00:24:50.550 --> 00:24:53.386
This is bumping up right up
against the walls of heaven.

528
00:24:55.755 --> 00:24:57.157
Ah, man.

529
00:24:57.190 --> 00:24:59.426
We've reached the mountaintop.

530
00:25:29.722 --> 00:25:31.458
<i>And trying to think, you know,</i>

531
00:25:31.491 --> 00:25:33.092
<i>"what do I want?"</i>

532
00:25:33.126 --> 00:25:34.461
<i>It would be nice
to buy something</i>

533
00:25:34.494 --> 00:25:37.063
that will fulfill
some hollow part of my soul,

534
00:25:37.096 --> 00:25:39.132
but I can't think of,
you know, anything.

535
00:25:39.165 --> 00:25:41.968
Maybe a car will do it.
I-I don't know.

536
00:25:44.103 --> 00:25:46.072
I mean, shit, my rent is paid.

537
00:25:46.105 --> 00:25:48.575
That alone is spectacular.

538
00:25:50.343 --> 00:25:52.245
<i>I mean, i-i...</i>

539
00:25:52.278 --> 00:25:53.780
I'd like to live
like a normal person.

540
00:25:53.813 --> 00:25:55.524
That was always my thought,
that-that if I get

541
00:25:55.548 --> 00:25:59.018
enough money, I'll be able
to live like a normal person.

542
00:25:59.052 --> 00:26:01.654
But I don't even know
what that is anymore.

543
00:26:04.791 --> 00:26:06.759
I read <i>kitchen confidential</i>
at that time,

544
00:26:06.793 --> 00:26:08.495
and I call him.

545
00:26:08.528 --> 00:26:11.264
<i>And I invite him
to have lunch with me</i>

546
00:26:11.297 --> 00:26:14.033
<i>because I want to meet the man.</i>

547
00:26:14.067 --> 00:26:17.303
And he shows up
with a-a TV crew.

548
00:26:20.106 --> 00:26:22.041
<i>I thought this was a jackpot.</i>

549
00:26:22.075 --> 00:26:23.443
<i>This was one of my idols.</i>

550
00:26:23.476 --> 00:26:26.546
<i>I was just absolutely
freaked out.</i>

551
00:26:28.214 --> 00:26:30.517
<i>Incredibly sophisticated,
refined,</i>

552
00:26:30.550 --> 00:26:33.119
<i>clean, beautiful,</i>

553
00:26:33.152 --> 00:26:35.455
<i>impeccably presented.</i>

554
00:26:35.488 --> 00:26:37.790
<i>Eric's food is like</i>

555
00:26:37.824 --> 00:26:40.627
the craft
performed at its highest level.

556
00:26:43.162 --> 00:26:44.664
<i>When I meet him,</i>

557
00:26:44.697 --> 00:26:47.200
<i>I don't expect him...</i>

558
00:26:47.233 --> 00:26:49.636
<i>To be so articulate.</i>

559
00:26:49.669 --> 00:26:51.137
<i>And he has amazing</i>

560
00:26:51.170 --> 00:26:53.106
good manners at the table.

561
00:26:53.806 --> 00:26:56.309
<i>And I think
at the end of the meal,</i>

562
00:26:56.342 --> 00:26:58.545
<i>we said we should meet again.</i>

563
00:26:58.578 --> 00:27:01.047
And, um, and we did.

564
00:27:10.390 --> 00:27:12.525
Served with foie gras
mousse and notes of...

565
00:27:16.863 --> 00:27:19.299
<i>I think
what was not a struggle...</i>

566
00:27:19.332 --> 00:27:21.167
<i>I don't know if "struggle"
is the right word,</i>

567
00:27:21.200 --> 00:27:23.703
but the challenge
was to be real,

568
00:27:23.736 --> 00:27:25.838
stay real, and at the same time,

569
00:27:25.872 --> 00:27:27.840
<i>be the host of a TV show.</i>

570
00:27:27.874 --> 00:27:29.709
<i>You have to</i>

571
00:27:29.742 --> 00:27:31.511
exaggerate a little bit.

572
00:27:31.544 --> 00:27:33.580
This is like
driving a Rolls-Royce naked

573
00:27:33.613 --> 00:27:35.481
in mink underpants.

574
00:27:38.217 --> 00:27:42.722
Just so over-the-top luxurious.

575
00:27:42.755 --> 00:27:44.290
<i>I think the person</i>

576
00:27:44.324 --> 00:27:46.326
<i>that people experienced
on camera was</i>

577
00:27:46.359 --> 00:27:48.428
<i>someone who seemingly had
this incredible ability</i>

578
00:27:48.461 --> 00:27:51.497
<i>to engage with
anybody he came across.</i>

579
00:27:51.531 --> 00:27:53.733
It's like
the UN-muscled James Bond

580
00:27:53.766 --> 00:27:55.735
who could kind of swan
into scenes.

581
00:27:55.768 --> 00:27:59.772
There was that persona
that was created over time.

582
00:27:59.806 --> 00:28:01.808
<i>I am looking for</i>

583
00:28:01.841 --> 00:28:04.344
<i>extremes of emotion
and experience.</i>

584
00:28:04.377 --> 00:28:06.746
<i>I'll try anything.
I'll risk everything.</i>

585
00:28:06.779 --> 00:28:09.215
<i>I have nothing to lose.</i>

586
00:28:09.950 --> 00:28:11.284
<i>The story was</i> a cook's tour

587
00:28:11.317 --> 00:28:12.752
was about a guy
who smoke and drank

588
00:28:12.785 --> 00:28:14.220
and ate his way
around the world.

589
00:28:14.253 --> 00:28:15.655
That was true.

590
00:28:15.688 --> 00:28:17.223
Part of the pitch was,

591
00:28:17.256 --> 00:28:19.659
"and he's gonna eat
really weird shit, too."

592
00:28:20.860 --> 00:28:23.229
Let's-let's do the nasty.

593
00:28:23.262 --> 00:28:25.365
They don't seem to have
their mise en place together.

594
00:28:25.398 --> 00:28:26.642
I have my mise en place together

595
00:28:26.666 --> 00:28:28.267
when I'm making steak frites.

596
00:28:28.301 --> 00:28:29.745
It seems to me, you know,
when you're making live cobra,

597
00:28:29.769 --> 00:28:32.238
you know, you should have
your operating stuff laid out.

598
00:28:32.271 --> 00:28:34.374
You know, where's the
cutting board, the knife?

599
00:28:35.608 --> 00:28:36.643
Scissors?

600
00:28:36.676 --> 00:28:38.344
<i>You know, eating</i>

601
00:28:38.378 --> 00:28:41.214
<i>those kind of things was
for camera, was for network,</i>

602
00:28:41.247 --> 00:28:43.182
<i>was for all the reasons
people do that.</i>

603
00:28:43.216 --> 00:28:44.283
<i>It's like, you know,</i>

604
00:28:44.317 --> 00:28:45.585
it's a little salacious,

605
00:28:45.618 --> 00:28:47.687
like he's eating
a live, beating cobra heart.

606
00:28:49.288 --> 00:28:50.523
Cheers, folks.

607
00:28:54.594 --> 00:28:55.428
Feels strong.

608
00:28:55.461 --> 00:28:57.463
It kind of pumps
on its way down, too.

609
00:28:57.497 --> 00:28:59.298
<i>And I think that persona</i>

610
00:28:59.332 --> 00:29:02.468
<i>followed him for a number
of years, but over time,</i>

611
00:29:02.502 --> 00:29:05.638
that burned off
and it became Tony.

612
00:29:16.349 --> 00:29:17.817
<i>Going back
to the ancestral homeland,</i>

613
00:29:17.850 --> 00:29:20.586
<i>and maybe we'll discover
some things along the way.</i>

614
00:29:20.620 --> 00:29:24.490
So this is my father
and a little friend in France

615
00:29:24.524 --> 00:29:26.426
in a little oyster village
in the gironde.

616
00:29:26.459 --> 00:29:28.294
This is one of
my favorite pictures, also.

617
00:29:28.327 --> 00:29:32.231
Uh, my brother and I
in the same spot.

618
00:29:33.433 --> 00:29:36.302
<i>We didn't do a lot of travel</i>

619
00:29:36.335 --> 00:29:38.404
<i>when we were kids 'cause
my parents were not rich.</i>

620
00:29:38.438 --> 00:29:39.848
We did go to France
a couple of times

621
00:29:39.872 --> 00:29:41.340
because my dad
had relatives there.

622
00:29:44.011 --> 00:29:46.446
I'm nervous.

623
00:29:46.479 --> 00:29:48.548
Whoever thought
we'd do something this goofy?

624
00:29:48.581 --> 00:29:49.582
This isn't goofy.

625
00:29:50.650 --> 00:29:52.852
<i>Our childhood as American kids,</i>

626
00:29:52.885 --> 00:29:54.420
<i>we really got into tintin books,</i>

627
00:29:54.454 --> 00:29:56.889
which Americans say "tin-tin."

628
00:29:56.923 --> 00:30:00.393
<i>This was a graphic novel
about this young reporter</i>

629
00:30:00.426 --> 00:30:02.662
<i>who travels all around the world</i>

630
00:30:02.695 --> 00:30:05.765
<i>and ends up with all of these
amazing adventures.</i>

631
00:30:07.034 --> 00:30:08.343
<i>I think it was actually,
in some ways,</i>

632
00:30:08.367 --> 00:30:09.478
an inspiration for Tony's life.

633
00:30:09.502 --> 00:30:11.337
This is an oyster boat

634
00:30:11.370 --> 00:30:14.741
similar to the one
on which I had my first oyster.

635
00:30:14.774 --> 00:30:16.642
<i>"I blame my first oyster</i>

636
00:30:16.676 --> 00:30:18.644
<i>"for everything I did after:
My thrill-seeking,</i>

637
00:30:18.678 --> 00:30:21.347
<i>all my hideous screwups
in pursuit of pleasure."</i>

638
00:30:23.016 --> 00:30:26.352
<i>"I was miserable and angry."</i>

639
00:30:26.385 --> 00:30:28.064
Damn! We didn't get
those when we were kids.

640
00:30:28.088 --> 00:30:29.455
- No, no.
- He-he!

641
00:30:29.489 --> 00:30:31.457
<i>"I bridled bitterly at</i>

642
00:30:31.491 --> 00:30:34.293
<i>"the smothering chokehold of
love and normalcy in my house.</i>

643
00:30:34.327 --> 00:30:36.629
<i>"Call it a character flaw,
of which drugs</i>

644
00:30:36.662 --> 00:30:38.331
<i>were simply a manifestation."</i>

645
00:30:38.364 --> 00:30:40.600
- Outstanding, corporal!
- Most excellent.

646
00:30:40.633 --> 00:30:42.335
<i>"A petulant 'fuck you'</i>

647
00:30:42.368 --> 00:30:44.637
<i>"to my bourgeois parents,
who'd committed</i>

648
00:30:44.670 --> 00:30:47.740
<i>the unpardonable sin
of loving me."</i>

649
00:30:48.908 --> 00:30:51.410
- I'm really glad we got a chance to do this.
- Me, too.

650
00:30:52.545 --> 00:30:55.782
We're older and more mature now.

651
00:31:01.955 --> 00:31:03.556
- Yeah.
- Okay.

652
00:31:03.589 --> 00:31:05.424
Yeah, let's do another one.

653
00:31:05.458 --> 00:31:06.425
- Yeah.
- Okay.

654
00:31:06.459 --> 00:31:08.561
All right, um, take two.

655
00:31:10.429 --> 00:31:12.899
"Two years ago, frequent flyer
miles meant nothing to me.

656
00:31:12.933 --> 00:31:16.469
Today, miles earned are the
pathetic milestones of my..."

657
00:31:16.502 --> 00:31:17.679
- Top?
- Yeah, start at the top.

658
00:31:17.703 --> 00:31:19.072
All right, take three.

659
00:31:19.106 --> 00:31:20.673
<i>We would write the voice-over</i>

660
00:31:20.706 --> 00:31:21.674
<i>in the beginning.</i>

661
00:31:21.707 --> 00:31:23.944
Like, we need context
for what we're seeing.

662
00:31:23.977 --> 00:31:25.012
We need

663
00:31:25.045 --> 00:31:27.547
<i>some summary of the scene.</i>

664
00:31:27.580 --> 00:31:29.849
"Later, I'm on another swing
through Southeast Asia

665
00:31:29.882 --> 00:31:31.118
"with layovers here and there.

666
00:31:31.151 --> 00:31:32.718
"First stop, Singapore.

667
00:31:32.752 --> 00:31:35.721
A quick business dinner with
my editor, ilangoh t..."

668
00:31:35.755 --> 00:31:38.691
"Tanalaban"? "Tanadab..."
"Tana..." Is it... no.

669
00:31:38.724 --> 00:31:40.693
- Thanabalan.
- Thanabalan. Okay.

670
00:31:40.726 --> 00:31:42.095
"Later, I'm on a..."

671
00:31:42.129 --> 00:31:43.529
<i>Tony would
come to the narration,</i>

672
00:31:43.563 --> 00:31:45.464
and he'd be like,
"what is the shit?"

673
00:31:45.498 --> 00:31:46.967
You know what I mean? And so...

674
00:31:47.000 --> 00:31:48.701
He would start
scratching things out.

675
00:31:48.734 --> 00:31:51.571
And, you know, first it started
with a word or two here

676
00:31:51.604 --> 00:31:53.706
or a sentence or two here.

677
00:31:53.739 --> 00:31:55.051
You know,
and then he became, like,

678
00:31:55.075 --> 00:31:56.776
maniacal about it.

679
00:31:56.809 --> 00:32:00.580
"Book tours, the TV show,
I travel for a living.

680
00:32:00.613 --> 00:32:03.583
"I've committed to memory
the <i>skymall</i> magazine.

681
00:32:03.616 --> 00:32:06.086
"The electronic
watering timer, $49.99.

682
00:32:06.119 --> 00:32:07.587
"Duty-free restrictions:

683
00:32:07.620 --> 00:32:09.622
One liter alcohol,
two cartons of smokes."

684
00:32:09.655 --> 00:32:12.725
"Cobbler for dessert?
I don't think so.

685
00:32:12.758 --> 00:32:15.996
"Airport to airport,
city to city,

686
00:32:16.029 --> 00:32:19.765
"I'm starting to feel like
a modern-day Willy loman.

687
00:32:19.799 --> 00:32:23.402
"Time zone to time zone,
country to country,

688
00:32:23.436 --> 00:32:26.439
this, it appears, is my life."

689
00:32:26.472 --> 00:32:28.141
<i>He really understood, like,</i>

690
00:32:28.175 --> 00:32:29.876
<i>"this is an extension of me.</i>

691
00:32:29.909 --> 00:32:33.512
<i>"This is an extension
of my writing.</i>

692
00:32:33.546 --> 00:32:36.816
<i>"I better write in my voice.</i>

693
00:32:36.849 --> 00:32:38.760
"You know, otherwise this is
gonna sound... I'm gonna sound

694
00:32:38.784 --> 00:32:43.923
like a tr-travel television host
rather than a writer."

695
00:32:46.193 --> 00:32:47.995
<i>"Making TV was becoming</i>

696
00:32:48.028 --> 00:32:50.529
<i>"creatively satisfying.</i>

697
00:32:50.563 --> 00:32:53.934
<i>"I wrote the book
and yet continued filming.</i>

698
00:32:53.967 --> 00:32:56.602
<i>"The tail now wagged the dog."</i>

699
00:32:56.636 --> 00:32:59.572
<i>"I was hooked on travel,
on seeing the world,"</i>

700
00:32:59.605 --> 00:33:01.975
<i>"and on the terms
I was seeing it."</i>

701
00:33:04.777 --> 00:33:06.913
<i>"I was on the road for
the better part of two years,</i>

702
00:33:06.947 --> 00:33:10.650
<i>"during which time
everything in my life changed.</i>

703
00:33:10.683 --> 00:33:14.187
<i>"I stopped working as a chef,
a job whose daily routines</i>

704
00:33:14.221 --> 00:33:16.056
<i>"have always been the only thing</i>

705
00:33:16.089 --> 00:33:19.525
<i>"that stood between me
and chaos.</i>

706
00:33:20.660 --> 00:33:23.964
<i>My first marriage
began to fall apart."</i>

707
00:33:25.564 --> 00:33:28.534
<i>They were together
almost 30 years.</i>

708
00:33:28.567 --> 00:33:30.137
<i>You know, he was</i>

709
00:33:30.170 --> 00:33:32.973
a traditional romantic.

710
00:33:33.006 --> 00:33:35.075
<i>He believed that you could</i>

711
00:33:35.108 --> 00:33:36.809
<i>meet your high school sweetheart</i>

712
00:33:36.842 --> 00:33:39.947
<i>and spend the rest
of your life with them.</i>

713
00:33:42.182 --> 00:33:43.916
<i>They were like, you know,</i>

714
00:33:43.951 --> 00:33:45.718
<i>sid and Nancy.</i>

715
00:33:45.751 --> 00:33:48.956
<i>They were like two people
conspiring against the world.</i>

716
00:33:48.989 --> 00:33:53.659
It was a love born out
of youth and rebellion.

717
00:33:54.928 --> 00:33:56.196
Great.

718
00:33:56.229 --> 00:33:57.663
Nancy, I hope
your divorce lawyer

719
00:33:57.697 --> 00:34:00.100
is paying close attention
to this footage.

720
00:34:00.133 --> 00:34:03.971
Feel free to depose anyone
on this crew at any time.

721
00:34:07.740 --> 00:34:11.044
This, too, of course, is part
of life's glorious mosaic.

722
00:34:12.112 --> 00:34:13.981
<i>Nancy had no interest in fame</i>

723
00:34:14.014 --> 00:34:17.084
<i>or being tied to fame,
but it just</i>

724
00:34:17.117 --> 00:34:18.651
was like a rebirth for Tony.

725
00:34:18.684 --> 00:34:20.553
It was like he died
and-and was reborn.

726
00:34:20.586 --> 00:34:22.990
I mean, this was a new person
with a new life.

727
00:34:24.623 --> 00:34:26.126
<i>"I wrote a crime novel</i>

728
00:34:26.159 --> 00:34:28.261
<i>"around that time in which
the characters' yearnings</i>

729
00:34:28.295 --> 00:34:31.932
<i>"for a white-picket-fence
kind of a life reflect my own</i>

730
00:34:31.965 --> 00:34:36.036
<i>"far more truthfully than any
nonfiction I've ever written.</i>

731
00:34:36.069 --> 00:34:39.672
<i>"Shortly after that,
I cruelly burned down</i>

732
00:34:39.705 --> 00:34:42.708
<i>my previous life
in its entirety."</i>

733
00:35:06.366 --> 00:35:08.868
That dying glow
in the background is, uh,

734
00:35:08.901 --> 00:35:10.903
I think the fuel depot
from the airport...

735
00:35:10.937 --> 00:35:13.340
<i>There we are
on the balcony in my room,</i>

736
00:35:13.373 --> 00:35:15.908
<i>nervously emptying out
the minibar, uh,</i>

737
00:35:15.942 --> 00:35:19.612
<i>watching jet fuel
cook off at the airport.</i>

738
00:35:20.713 --> 00:35:23.649
<i>We had gone there
to shoot a show</i>

739
00:35:23.682 --> 00:35:26.719
<i>for the travel channel
about how Beirut was</i>

740
00:35:26.752 --> 00:35:30.723
<i>this renaissance of thought,
feeling and energy,</i>

741
00:35:30.756 --> 00:35:32.325
<i>and we shot two scenes,</i>

742
00:35:32.359 --> 00:35:35.861
and then shit went south
really fast.

743
00:35:36.829 --> 00:35:39.099
<i>There was
a border incident with Israel.</i>

744
00:35:39.132 --> 00:35:42.668
<i>Hezbollah had kidnapped
some Israeli soldiers,</i>

745
00:35:42.701 --> 00:35:45.838
<i>and basically, uh,
we got caught up in a war.</i>

746
00:35:48.674 --> 00:35:50.944
Hold on. Let me, uh...

747
00:35:50.977 --> 00:35:53.679
Todd, exactly how disgusted
and anxious are you?

748
00:35:53.712 --> 00:35:55.982
We're damn lucky to be here.

749
00:35:56.016 --> 00:35:57.917
We're spending all
this time at the pool,

750
00:35:57.951 --> 00:36:00.653
watching helicopters
come in and out.

751
00:36:00.686 --> 00:36:03.856
<i>It was just
a waiting game for us.</i>

752
00:36:03.889 --> 00:36:05.092
We had to go in the basement

753
00:36:05.125 --> 00:36:07.194
because there was
a lot of bombs by us.

754
00:36:07.227 --> 00:36:09.029
They knocked down our house.

755
00:36:10.330 --> 00:36:11.932
You know, look at us
in those scenes.

756
00:36:11.965 --> 00:36:13.376
You know,
we're sitting around the pool,

757
00:36:13.400 --> 00:36:15.235
<i>getting tan,</i>

758
00:36:15.268 --> 00:36:17.770
<i>you know, watching a war.</i>

759
00:36:19.206 --> 00:36:23.043
If there's a single metaphor
in this entire experience,

760
00:36:23.076 --> 00:36:24.777
that...

761
00:36:24.810 --> 00:36:27.013
You know, that's probably it.

762
00:36:28.281 --> 00:36:30.050
Not a flattering one.

763
00:36:41.861 --> 00:36:43.130
<i>When they arrived back,</i>

764
00:36:43.163 --> 00:36:45.664
<i>the first thing he said was,</i>

765
00:36:45.698 --> 00:36:47.267
"we cannot make a show
out of this.

766
00:36:47.300 --> 00:36:51.037
<i>I refuse to exploit
this experience in that way."</i>

767
00:36:51.071 --> 00:36:53.639
Needless to say,
the network saw it differently.

768
00:36:54.874 --> 00:36:57.410
There's just no neat sum-up
to the story.

769
00:36:57.444 --> 00:37:00.880
<i>He stopped doing the...</i>

770
00:37:00.913 --> 00:37:04.683
Rosy sum-up of what we just saw.

771
00:37:04.717 --> 00:37:05.918
He just stopped.

772
00:37:07.020 --> 00:37:08.131
<i>In the few years
since I've started</i>

773
00:37:08.155 --> 00:37:11.757
<i>to travel this world,
I'd found myself changing.</i>

774
00:37:11.790 --> 00:37:14.294
<i>I'd begun to believe
that the dinner table was</i>

775
00:37:14.327 --> 00:37:16.296
<i>the great leveler.</i>

776
00:37:16.329 --> 00:37:18.831
<i>Now I'm not so sure.</i>

777
00:37:18.864 --> 00:37:21.168
<i>Maybe the world's
not like that at all.</i>

778
00:37:21.201 --> 00:37:24.404
<i>Maybe in the real world,
the one without cameras</i>

779
00:37:24.437 --> 00:37:26.006
<i>and happy food and travel shows,</i>

780
00:37:26.039 --> 00:37:29.775
<i>everybody, the good
and the bad together,</i>

781
00:37:29.808 --> 00:37:33.046
<i>are all crushed
under the same terrible wheel.</i>

782
00:37:33.079 --> 00:37:34.381
<i>I hope...</i>

783
00:37:34.414 --> 00:37:37.150
<i>I really hope
I'm wrong about that.</i>

784
00:37:41.421 --> 00:37:42.922
<i>That ambiguity,</i>

785
00:37:42.956 --> 00:37:45.091
<i>that's what he embraced.</i>

786
00:37:45.125 --> 00:37:48.861
Fucking open-endedness
is where the answers are.

787
00:37:50.497 --> 00:37:52.933
<i>It was
an embittering experience.</i>

788
00:37:52.966 --> 00:37:55.502
<i>It got all of us
thinking about, you know,</i>

789
00:37:55.535 --> 00:37:57.703
<i>what's important in life.</i>

790
00:38:00.006 --> 00:38:02.075
Oh, it's recording.

791
00:38:02.108 --> 00:38:03.343
Oh, my god.

792
00:38:03.376 --> 00:38:05.811
You look like an idiot.

793
00:38:07.247 --> 00:38:10.217
Come on, say something,
Mr. Anthony bourdain.

794
00:38:10.250 --> 00:38:12.052
This is, uh, our vacation video,

795
00:38:12.085 --> 00:38:13.429
and we're gonna show this
to our children.

796
00:38:13.453 --> 00:38:14.820
Welcome to my video.

797
00:38:14.853 --> 00:38:17.524
Welcome to my first
independent film.

798
00:38:17.557 --> 00:38:20.093
My spring vacation.

799
00:38:22.128 --> 00:38:23.363
Ow, ow, ow!

800
00:38:23.396 --> 00:38:25.098
Come on, I'm driving.

801
00:38:25.131 --> 00:38:27.133
How do you say that in English?

802
00:38:27.167 --> 00:38:28.368
Is this a bad thing?

803
00:38:30.003 --> 00:38:31.504
<i>Tony was single,</i>

804
00:38:31.538 --> 00:38:33.273
<i>and ottavia worked for me.</i>

805
00:38:33.306 --> 00:38:35.976
Tony called me and he-he said,
"who is this girl, ottavia?"

806
00:38:36.009 --> 00:38:37.978
And I said, "well, have fun."

807
00:38:38.011 --> 00:38:40.913
<i>You know,
don't take it seriously."</i>

808
00:38:40.947 --> 00:38:43.049
Eric thought, you know,

809
00:38:43.083 --> 00:38:46.386
we were the perfect match
for those

810
00:38:46.419 --> 00:38:50.257
occasional,
you know, rendezvous.

811
00:38:50.290 --> 00:38:52.858
You drive like grandma.

812
00:38:52.891 --> 00:38:54.537
What do you mean?
Does grandma drive like this?

813
00:38:54.561 --> 00:38:55.996
Oh, here, look, no hands.

814
00:38:56.029 --> 00:38:58.098
Oh, yeah.

815
00:38:58.131 --> 00:39:00.000
<i>I thought he was gonna be this</i>

816
00:39:00.033 --> 00:39:03.136
<i>bad boy, a little bit arrogant,</i>

817
00:39:03.169 --> 00:39:07.240
and not what I was expecting
but endearing nonetheless.

818
00:39:09.042 --> 00:39:10.277
Perfetto.

819
00:39:10.310 --> 00:39:12.012
But you know
what the show's about?

820
00:39:12.045 --> 00:39:14.080
- No.
- It's about a,

821
00:39:14.114 --> 00:39:16.549
about a existential crossroads
in my life.

822
00:39:16.583 --> 00:39:18.118
You look bored already.

823
00:39:18.151 --> 00:39:19.852
I am.

824
00:39:19.885 --> 00:39:21.288
<i>You saw
they were pretty smitten.</i>

825
00:39:21.321 --> 00:39:22.555
<i>I mean, he always has</i>

826
00:39:22.589 --> 00:39:25.959
really appreciated
very strong women.

827
00:39:25.992 --> 00:39:27.893
<i>She would cut him no slack.</i>

828
00:39:27.926 --> 00:39:29.562
This is a load of.

829
00:39:29.596 --> 00:39:31.464
What are the chances
this scene is gonna end up

830
00:39:31.498 --> 00:39:33.466
- on the cutting room floor?
- Zero.

831
00:39:33.500 --> 00:39:35.035
Even if we fight.

832
00:39:35.068 --> 00:39:37.003
Now, that would be
good television, see?

833
00:39:37.037 --> 00:39:39.072
We should fight.

834
00:39:39.105 --> 00:39:41.041
<i>A couple of months later,</i>

835
00:39:41.074 --> 00:39:42.942
<i>we are in a restaurant,
and she's toasting him</i>

836
00:39:42.976 --> 00:39:46.912
at the table,
and I see tears in his eyes.

837
00:39:46.946 --> 00:39:48.381
Real tears.

838
00:39:48.415 --> 00:39:51.117
And we're like,
"oh, my god, he's in love."

839
00:39:52.352 --> 00:39:54.287
Okay, let's do
some romantic thing.

840
00:39:54.321 --> 00:39:55.422
What, like... no.

841
00:39:55.455 --> 00:39:57.324
Get that...

842
00:39:57.357 --> 00:40:00.026
<i>Tony was like the teenagers,</i>

843
00:40:00.060 --> 00:40:01.995
<i>like, falling in love
for the first time.</i>

844
00:40:02.028 --> 00:40:04.064
<i>They changed their clothes
and the music</i>

845
00:40:04.097 --> 00:40:06.865
<i>that they're listening to, and
pieces of him that you thought</i>

846
00:40:06.899 --> 00:40:10.203
you knew were... shifting.

847
00:40:13.006 --> 00:40:15.475
<i>Were you shocked
when Tony had a kid?</i>

848
00:40:15.508 --> 00:40:16.943
<i>I was shocked.</i>

849
00:40:16.976 --> 00:40:18.411
<i>I had asked him</i>

850
00:40:18.445 --> 00:40:20.947
how come he didn't have kids,
and he's like...

851
00:40:22.115 --> 00:40:25.851
"It's just not something
I ever see myself doing, ever."

852
00:40:26.919 --> 00:40:28.655
<i>For most of my life,</i>

853
00:40:28.688 --> 00:40:30.623
<i>I wouldn't have been
a good father.</i>

854
00:40:30.657 --> 00:40:33.626
<i>Too self-involved,
too messed-up on drugs.</i>

855
00:40:33.660 --> 00:40:36.329
<i>And also afraid.</i>

856
00:40:36.363 --> 00:40:38.965
<i>The thought of being
frightened for a child,</i>

857
00:40:38.998 --> 00:40:42.936
<i>you know, I was not
up to that kind of fear.</i>

858
00:40:44.304 --> 00:40:48.108
Any doubts I might have had
kind of dissipated

859
00:40:48.141 --> 00:40:53.113
when I realized how happy,
how happy, excited he was

860
00:40:53.146 --> 00:40:56.015
that he was gonna
become a father.

861
00:40:57.016 --> 00:41:00.253
- No phone.
- No phone?

862
00:41:02.422 --> 00:41:05.024
Okay. Okay. That's okay.

863
00:41:05.058 --> 00:41:07.694
- That's okay?
- That's okay.

864
00:41:07.727 --> 00:41:10.663
- Yeah? It's okay, dada?
- Come on. Come on.

865
00:41:10.697 --> 00:41:13.066
- Okay, a little hug?
- Come on.

866
00:41:13.099 --> 00:41:16.002
Come on, now. Okay, okay.

867
00:41:16.035 --> 00:41:18.538
- Okay, okay.
- Okay.

868
00:41:18.571 --> 00:41:21.307
Come on. Come on, appa.

869
00:41:21.341 --> 00:41:23.610
- Appa.
- Appa? What about your appa?

870
00:41:28.548 --> 00:41:30.150
One, two, three.

871
00:41:30.183 --> 00:41:32.018
♪ You know we're talking ♪

872
00:41:32.051 --> 00:41:33.295
- Come on, come on.
- ♪ 'bout the doctor. ♪

873
00:41:33.319 --> 00:41:35.688
But what does
the doctor look like?

874
00:41:38.024 --> 00:41:40.126
Well, hello. I'm Dr. Tony.

875
00:41:40.160 --> 00:41:41.494
What seems to be
the problem here?

876
00:41:42.729 --> 00:41:44.731
I'm here to help you
get all better.

877
00:41:44.764 --> 00:41:46.366
- Hooray!
- Yeah!

878
00:41:46.399 --> 00:41:48.468
We should help all people
when they need help.

879
00:41:48.501 --> 00:41:51.171
Hey, that reminds me,
I have to get back.

880
00:41:51.204 --> 00:41:54.441
Bye.

881
00:41:54.474 --> 00:41:55.708
<i>This is my life.</i>

882
00:41:55.742 --> 00:41:57.544
<i>I wake up.</i>

883
00:41:57.577 --> 00:41:58.645
<i>I walk my daughter</i>

884
00:41:58.678 --> 00:42:01.047
to her summer camp.

885
00:42:01.080 --> 00:42:03.383
You know, I have a few minutes
of normal family life,

886
00:42:03.416 --> 00:42:05.185
then I, like, take
the elevator downstairs,

887
00:42:05.218 --> 00:42:06.619
and there's yet another...

888
00:42:06.653 --> 00:42:08.555
Yo, Anthony!
How you doing, boss?

889
00:42:08.588 --> 00:42:10.323
Hey, what's up, man?

890
00:42:13.393 --> 00:42:15.462
Are you on the job?

891
00:42:15.495 --> 00:42:18.598
Yo, this guy's got
the best show on TV.

892
00:42:20.233 --> 00:42:22.702
<i>Tony got really famous.</i>

893
00:42:22.735 --> 00:42:24.771
Like, every two minutes,
it seemed,

894
00:42:24.804 --> 00:42:26.706
someone's going up to him.

895
00:42:26.739 --> 00:42:28.208
"Hey."

896
00:42:28.241 --> 00:42:29.776
You know, "Tony, I'm a huge fan."

897
00:42:29.809 --> 00:42:31.744
<i>"Can I take a photo?</i>

898
00:42:31.778 --> 00:42:33.446
<i>"Can you talk to me?</i>

899
00:42:33.480 --> 00:42:35.224
<i>What are, what-what are
some travel tips? Would I..."</i>

900
00:42:35.248 --> 00:42:38.685
<i>It-it was just incessant,
nonstop barrage.</i>

901
00:42:44.724 --> 00:42:48.761
<i>He got a kid and he wanted
to be a good husband to ottavia,</i>

902
00:42:48.795 --> 00:42:51.631
<i>and... everything changed, man.</i>

903
00:42:51.664 --> 00:42:53.266
<i>For him.</i>

904
00:42:53.299 --> 00:42:55.101
<i>I'm food bad boy Tony bourdain.</i>

905
00:42:55.134 --> 00:42:57.604
There's nowhere I won't go
and nothing I won't eat,

906
00:42:57.637 --> 00:43:00.273
as long as I'm paid in emeralds
and my hotel room has

907
00:43:00.306 --> 00:43:02.242
a bidet that shoots
warm champagne.

908
00:43:02.275 --> 00:43:05.678
Ladies and
gentlemen, Anthony bourdain.

909
00:43:20.426 --> 00:43:22.562
<i>And that's when I was like,</i>

910
00:43:22.595 --> 00:43:25.265
"Tony, like, what the fuck, man?

911
00:43:25.298 --> 00:43:27.534
<i>"Like, how do you
maintain your cool</i>

912
00:43:27.567 --> 00:43:30.503
<i>and your composure
and you're nice?"</i>

913
00:43:30.537 --> 00:43:32.472
<i>I'll never forget this.
He's like, "listen.</i>

914
00:43:32.505 --> 00:43:35.408
<i>"Me being nice to someone
and being gracious to them,</i>

915
00:43:35.441 --> 00:43:39.546
"if that's my job,
it certainly beats

916
00:43:39.579 --> 00:43:44.150
being middling line cook
at a struggling restaurant."

917
00:43:46.452 --> 00:43:49.389
Do you have anything
resembling a normal life?

918
00:43:49.422 --> 00:43:50.390
No.

919
00:43:50.423 --> 00:43:53.426
I'm asking this 'cause
the answer for me is no.

920
00:43:53.459 --> 00:43:57.163
I want to say no, 'cause
I just visited my friends.

921
00:43:57.196 --> 00:43:59.799
I haven't seen them
in many years.

922
00:43:59.832 --> 00:44:01.568
- Right.
- And I felt I just...

923
00:44:01.601 --> 00:44:03.136
I couldn't relate.

924
00:44:03.169 --> 00:44:04.580
- I mean, it's like...
- I know, I know.

925
00:44:04.604 --> 00:44:07.473
And I-I understand those,
but-but, but... yeah.

926
00:44:07.507 --> 00:44:09.342
I'm a freak.

927
00:44:09.375 --> 00:44:11.144
- They only...
- Fucking hell. Jesus.

928
00:44:11.177 --> 00:44:12.712
Oh, is this so interesting?

929
00:44:12.745 --> 00:44:14.447
What are we waiting for?

930
00:44:14.480 --> 00:44:15.848
Is there...

931
00:44:15.882 --> 00:44:17.584
We're always at the ready.

932
00:44:17.617 --> 00:44:20.486
I'm about to give birth
to a big fucking alien baby

933
00:44:20.520 --> 00:44:21.487
at any moment.

934
00:44:21.521 --> 00:44:23.189
It's-it's gonna be huge.

935
00:44:23.222 --> 00:44:24.733
All right,
why don't we take five, then.

936
00:44:24.757 --> 00:44:27.760
- Take five.
- Holy crap. Jesus.

937
00:44:27.794 --> 00:44:29.362
And you're...

938
00:44:29.395 --> 00:44:31.798
How many days of
straight shooting you have?

939
00:44:33.633 --> 00:44:35.301
Don't ask me that.

940
00:45:22.649 --> 00:45:24.550
<i>The international
narco trafficker</i>

941
00:45:24.584 --> 00:45:27.253
Tom vitale was arrested
in Amsterdam just recently.

942
00:45:27.286 --> 00:45:29.322
On examination
at the local precinct,

943
00:45:29.355 --> 00:45:30.657
they found he'd swallowed

944
00:45:30.690 --> 00:45:33.559
<i>a record-breaking
90 bolitas of cocaine.</i>

945
00:45:34.962 --> 00:45:38.264
<i>What made it into the shows was,</i>

946
00:45:38.297 --> 00:45:40.800
as far as I was concerned,
the least interesting...

947
00:45:40.833 --> 00:45:42.802
Parts of the trip.

948
00:45:42.835 --> 00:45:46.773
Welcome to another episode
of <i>24-hour fuck-over.</i>

949
00:45:51.411 --> 00:45:53.880
<i>He was a control freak
in a lot of ways.</i>

950
00:45:53.913 --> 00:45:56.416
<i>You couldn't win
an argument with him.</i>

951
00:45:56.449 --> 00:45:59.485
Just because there was an idea,
he would challenge it.

952
00:45:59.519 --> 00:46:00.920
Do you have any lines for me?

953
00:46:00.954 --> 00:46:02.588
Maybe you can feed me something.

954
00:46:03.556 --> 00:46:05.858
Rome at dusk. There's really
no place like it, is there?

955
00:46:05.892 --> 00:46:08.261
Uh, romance is in the air.

956
00:46:08.294 --> 00:46:09.438
- Who says that?
- We're here for two days.

957
00:46:09.462 --> 00:46:10.998
When?
When at any point in my life

958
00:46:11.031 --> 00:46:12.632
have I ever said that?

959
00:46:12.665 --> 00:46:14.935
Occasionally you feel inspired
and you say something

960
00:46:14.968 --> 00:46:17.971
really nice
that makes me tear up.

961
00:46:18.005 --> 00:46:20.406
Not today, I guess.

962
00:46:23.309 --> 00:46:24.711
<i>Well, I would say his barometer</i>

963
00:46:24.744 --> 00:46:26.455
<i>for bullshit in general
was extremely sensitive.</i>

964
00:46:26.479 --> 00:46:28.414
But if he felt
we were bullshitting,

965
00:46:28.448 --> 00:46:30.717
I mean, that's like kind of
the ultimate sin, right?

966
00:46:30.750 --> 00:46:32.719
You're gonna walk down
along the canal...

967
00:46:32.752 --> 00:46:34.253
<i>You'd have to sort of</i>

968
00:46:34.287 --> 00:46:36.289
<i>lead from behind with him.</i>

969
00:46:36.322 --> 00:46:39.258
What kind of
fascist regime is this?

970
00:46:39.292 --> 00:46:41.327
<i>Because when Tony
wanted to leave,</i>

971
00:46:41.360 --> 00:46:42.729
<i>Tony would leave.</i>

972
00:46:42.762 --> 00:46:45.465
<i>I mean, stopping him
had to be physical.</i>

973
00:46:45.498 --> 00:46:49.469
Like putting my body in between
him and the escape route.

974
00:46:49.502 --> 00:46:51.871
Keep him away from me.

975
00:46:51.904 --> 00:46:53.840
No, no, no.

976
00:47:02.315 --> 00:47:03.883
Yeah, I've had enough, man.

977
00:47:03.916 --> 00:47:06.352
Too, too fucked-up.

978
00:47:07.453 --> 00:47:09.722
Well, my day's ruined.

979
00:47:13.026 --> 00:47:14.694
- Really?
- No.

980
00:47:14.727 --> 00:47:16.371
- All right. Goodbye.
- I'm gonna burst into tears.

981
00:47:16.395 --> 00:47:17.697
Yeah, that's pretty good, huh?

982
00:47:17.730 --> 00:47:19.499
<i>In the beginning, it was just.</i>

983
00:47:19.532 --> 00:47:21.501
<i>Chris and Lydia
shooting with him.</i>

984
00:47:21.534 --> 00:47:24.370
<i>They did that for several years</i>

985
00:47:24.403 --> 00:47:26.639
<i>and then brought in
a whole team of people,</i>

986
00:47:26.672 --> 00:47:29.876
many of them
who stuck around to the end.

987
00:47:29.909 --> 00:47:31.344
This is for you.

988
00:47:31.377 --> 00:47:32.678
Oh!

989
00:47:32.712 --> 00:47:34.982
- You might need this later.
- Oh, I will.

990
00:47:35.015 --> 00:47:37.350
<i>It was pretty much</i>

991
00:47:37.383 --> 00:47:39.819
<i>the most formative years
of my life.</i>

992
00:47:39.852 --> 00:47:42.455
There will be blood.

993
00:47:42.488 --> 00:47:43.957
<i>There were these battling</i>

994
00:47:43.991 --> 00:47:45.324
<i>sort of teams on the show.</i>

995
00:47:45.358 --> 00:47:46.793
- Hi, Diane.
- Diane.

996
00:47:46.826 --> 00:47:49.029
Hey! Hey!

997
00:47:49.062 --> 00:47:50.797
Zach introduced
a little something

998
00:47:50.830 --> 00:47:53.066
called the-the lens change.

999
00:47:53.100 --> 00:47:54.400
<i>I think Tony liked me</i>

1000
00:47:54.433 --> 00:47:55.835
<i>for a couple reasons.</i>

1001
00:47:55.868 --> 00:47:57.908
One was that, you know,
I enjoyed fucking with Tony.

1002
00:47:57.938 --> 00:47:59.405
You know? I mean, it was...

1003
00:47:59.438 --> 00:48:01.416
Uh, we all sort of fucked
with him in our own ways.

1004
00:48:01.440 --> 00:48:03.810
<i>You know,
it was very competitive,</i>

1005
00:48:03.843 --> 00:48:04.945
<i>and so the bar got pushed</i>

1006
00:48:04.978 --> 00:48:06.379
every single episode.

1007
00:48:06.412 --> 00:48:07.814
<i>Tony was in on everything.</i>

1008
00:48:07.847 --> 00:48:10.516
<i>Every show was something
that was important.</i>

1009
00:48:10.550 --> 00:48:13.086
<i>Every show had his care in it.</i>

1010
00:48:13.120 --> 00:48:16.355
Every show potentially
had his wrath.

1011
00:48:18.724 --> 00:48:20.860
<i>I mean, how many emails I got,</i>

1012
00:48:20.893 --> 00:48:23.596
"tell editor to UN-fuck itself."

1013
00:48:24.497 --> 00:48:26.632
And I had to translate that
to the editor.

1014
00:48:26.666 --> 00:48:31.370
<i>He would say that
the greatest sin is mediocrity.</i>

1015
00:48:33.040 --> 00:48:35.142
<i>"Aspiring to mediocrity.</i>

1016
00:48:35.175 --> 00:48:36.642
"There is a grim, inevitable

1017
00:48:36.676 --> 00:48:39.478
"and all too predictable
trajectory

1018
00:48:39.512 --> 00:48:41.982
<i>"to the passage of
a good episode of television.</i>

1019
00:48:42.015 --> 00:48:44.650
<i>"People aren't as stupid
as your minions clearly believe.</i>

1020
00:48:44.684 --> 00:48:46.452
<i>"They don't need the truth</i>

1021
00:48:46.485 --> 00:48:47.997
<i>"pounded home
with meaningless platitudes</i>

1022
00:48:48.021 --> 00:48:50.023
<i>"or bland, generic sum-ups.</i>

1023
00:48:50.057 --> 00:48:51.724
<i>They'll get it."</i>

1024
00:48:51.757 --> 00:48:54.560
And it goes on
for several pages.

1025
00:48:54.594 --> 00:48:57.530
<i>"Don't empower
these squirrel-balled nerds</i>

1026
00:48:57.563 --> 00:49:00.533
<i>"by letting them get their way.</i>

1027
00:49:00.566 --> 00:49:02.869
<i>"They will then nibble
this show to death</i>

1028
00:49:02.902 --> 00:49:04.904
<i>"like hungry ducks.</i>

1029
00:49:05.905 --> 00:49:09.508
As always, best wishes
and respect, Tony."

1030
00:49:09.542 --> 00:49:11.477
And this was written to somebody

1031
00:49:11.510 --> 00:49:14.413
he truly liked and respected.

1032
00:49:17.917 --> 00:49:20.820
<i>It bothered him
if everyone liked the show.</i>

1033
00:49:20.853 --> 00:49:24.091
He was like, "it should
create conversation."

1034
00:49:24.124 --> 00:49:25.524
How old is he?

1035
00:49:25.558 --> 00:49:27.760
D-Does he even
remember the planes?

1036
00:49:27.793 --> 00:49:29.562
He was a child.

1037
00:49:30.796 --> 00:49:32.498
He doesn't remember.

1038
00:49:32.531 --> 00:49:34.034
Doesn't remember.
All these years...

1039
00:49:34.067 --> 00:49:36.103
<i>He was a shockingly
countercultural voice.</i>

1040
00:49:36.136 --> 00:49:39.605
<i>I mean, so many of the countries
I worked in with him</i>

1041
00:49:39.639 --> 00:49:41.607
were still dealing with
the fallout

1042
00:49:41.641 --> 00:49:44.610
from whatever america had done.

1043
00:49:44.644 --> 00:49:46.846
<i>For him, it's losing everything,</i>

1044
00:49:46.879 --> 00:49:48.181
<i>uh, because he's the...</i>

1045
00:49:48.215 --> 00:49:51.118
<i>The head of the family,
feeding the family.</i>

1046
00:49:51.151 --> 00:49:53.452
<i>Um, so after losing</i>

1047
00:49:53.486 --> 00:49:55.655
his arms and his legs,

1048
00:49:55.688 --> 00:49:59.159
uh, it's-it's a great disaster
for his life.

1049
00:50:02.029 --> 00:50:03.863
Uh, he wants to know if you are afraid

1050
00:50:03.896 --> 00:50:06.699
of seeing the-the reality.

1051
00:50:06.732 --> 00:50:09.036
Ah. Afraid?

1052
00:50:09.069 --> 00:50:11.204
Um, uh, no.

1053
00:50:11.238 --> 00:50:14.874
It-it hurts, but I think
that's appropriate.

1054
00:50:14.907 --> 00:50:16.909
You know, it should.
I think Americans...

1055
00:50:16.944 --> 00:50:21.547
Every American should see
the results of war.

1056
00:50:22.282 --> 00:50:24.850
I think it's, uh...

1057
00:50:25.953 --> 00:50:31.158
the least I can do is to-to
see the world with open eyes.

1058
00:50:43.703 --> 00:50:45.805
<i>You'll notice that, in general,</i>

1059
00:50:45.838 --> 00:50:47.473
<i>I'm not myself.</i>

1060
00:50:48.141 --> 00:50:49.842
<i>Where's the snark, the attitude?</i>

1061
00:50:49.875 --> 00:50:53.512
<i>Well, what do you say to this?</i>

1062
00:50:56.149 --> 00:50:58.651
<i>I honestly don't know.</i>

1063
00:51:02.222 --> 00:51:04.857
<i>People are not statistics.</i>

1064
00:51:04.890 --> 00:51:08.694
<i>Surely there's value in-in
showing the little things.</i>

1065
00:51:10.964 --> 00:51:14.001
How's business for her?
Uh, can you ask her?

1066
00:51:15.168 --> 00:51:16.970
Not re...
Not really good this time.

1067
00:51:17.004 --> 00:51:18.138
- Not good?
- No.

1068
00:51:18.171 --> 00:51:19.672
I mean, the country's situation,

1069
00:51:19.705 --> 00:51:21.707
people don't have
any income, any money,

1070
00:51:21.741 --> 00:51:23.944
so they can't
buy food in the street.

1071
00:51:23.977 --> 00:51:25.145
So you can imagine that.

1072
00:51:25.178 --> 00:51:27.314
That, see...
That why you see a lot of

1073
00:51:27.347 --> 00:51:28.982
guys here begging, you know.

1074
00:51:29.016 --> 00:51:30.759
"Can you buy me some food?
Can you give me something?"

1075
00:51:30.783 --> 00:51:32.618
<i>The biggest issue</i>

1076
00:51:32.651 --> 00:51:36.223
<i>that we dealt with
was trying to be,</i>

1077
00:51:36.256 --> 00:51:39.658
<i>you know, the fly on the wall
and-and going into a place</i>

1078
00:51:39.692 --> 00:51:41.894
and not having an effect.

1079
00:51:41.927 --> 00:51:46.699
Like, this episode is a prime
example of just trying to help,

1080
00:51:46.732 --> 00:51:49.036
and it rearing its ugly head.

1081
00:51:50.736 --> 00:51:52.172
<i>We have all this leftover food.</i>

1082
00:51:52.205 --> 00:51:55.708
<i>Tony's like, "let's just
give it to the people here."</i>

1083
00:51:57.944 --> 00:52:03.050
<i>You know, they're hungry,
and of course mayhem ensued.</i>

1084
00:52:05.718 --> 00:52:07.988
<i>Larger kids were just, like,
throwing younger kids</i>

1085
00:52:08.021 --> 00:52:13.360
<i>out of the line,
and it was a very ugly scenario.</i>

1086
00:52:24.904 --> 00:52:27.706
<i>I think Tony ultimately saw that</i>

1087
00:52:27.740 --> 00:52:29.209
<i>it wasn't just food.</i>

1088
00:52:29.242 --> 00:52:30.643
<i>There's suffering in this world,</i>

1089
00:52:30.676 --> 00:52:33.980
<i>and that seems to be
omnipresent.</i>

1090
00:52:34.014 --> 00:52:36.349
How do you spend time
with people

1091
00:52:36.383 --> 00:52:39.352
and-and-and you empathize
with their plight...

1092
00:52:39.386 --> 00:52:41.988
How does that not
change you fundamentally?

1093
00:52:42.022 --> 00:52:45.658
Whee. Whee.

1094
00:52:45.691 --> 00:52:47.160
You going to outer space?

1095
00:52:47.194 --> 00:52:48.861
Yes.

1096
00:52:50.663 --> 00:52:51.897
Going higher.

1097
00:52:51.932 --> 00:52:55.701
<i>He was traveling
250 days a year,</i>

1098
00:52:55.734 --> 00:52:57.080
and, you know,
when you come back home,

1099
00:52:57.104 --> 00:52:59.172
you have to be a husband,
you have to be a father.

1100
00:53:01.774 --> 00:53:03.776
<i>With the little time he had,</i>

1101
00:53:03.809 --> 00:53:06.879
<i>he was very attentive.</i>

1102
00:53:08.048 --> 00:53:10.984
Sandcastles on the beach,
all day long.

1103
00:53:18.757 --> 00:53:20.926
<i>I think it was a surprise</i>

1104
00:53:20.961 --> 00:53:23.863
<i>and shock for him,
that late in life,</i>

1105
00:53:23.896 --> 00:53:26.399
to experience that kind of love.

1106
00:53:26.433 --> 00:53:28.401
Can I use this hand?

1107
00:53:28.435 --> 00:53:30.036
That's okay. Use that hand.

1108
00:53:30.070 --> 00:53:31.914
We'll pull that out and use
that hand for the crumbs.

1109
00:53:31.938 --> 00:53:33.006
It's okay.

1110
00:53:33.039 --> 00:53:36.009
<i>It moved him to his core.</i>

1111
00:53:36.042 --> 00:53:38.744
<i>And I think
he was constantly aware</i>

1112
00:53:38.777 --> 00:53:41.780
of, like, not wanting
to screw it up.

1113
00:53:42.915 --> 00:53:44.893
Are you really in this country
right now, or is this a mirage?

1114
00:53:44.917 --> 00:53:47.954
I-I am my stunt double.

1115
00:53:47.988 --> 00:53:49.722
Couldn't you get
someone better-looking?

1116
00:53:49.755 --> 00:53:52.025
Yeah. Oh!

1117
00:53:52.058 --> 00:53:54.161
<i>Fans of the show think he had</i>

1118
00:53:54.194 --> 00:53:56.930
<i>the greatest job in the world,
but it was one that</i>

1119
00:53:56.963 --> 00:53:59.099
there was no way
to ever escape from.

1120
00:53:59.132 --> 00:54:01.334
Couldn't really go home
for a day and not be

1121
00:54:01.368 --> 00:54:02.936
Anthony bourdain.

1122
00:54:02.969 --> 00:54:04.770
What kind are you making?

1123
00:54:04.803 --> 00:54:06.173
Cookie. What's the best kind?

1124
00:54:06.206 --> 00:54:09.176
I don't know. Uh, are you
observing child labor laws?

1125
00:54:10.776 --> 00:54:12.811
<i>His daughter
used to do this joke</i>

1126
00:54:12.845 --> 00:54:14.323
where she would get up and say,
"I'm Anthony bourdain."

1127
00:54:14.347 --> 00:54:16.016
Hi. My name's Anthony bourdain.

1128
00:54:16.049 --> 00:54:18.451
"You may know me
from such TV shows as..."

1129
00:54:18.485 --> 00:54:21.820
Maybe you know me
from such shows as, uh...

1130
00:54:21.854 --> 00:54:24.324
<i>She knew that her father</i>

1131
00:54:24.357 --> 00:54:28.694
<i>and Anthony bourdain
were very separate entities.</i>

1132
00:54:31.131 --> 00:54:32.898
You're picking that nose

1133
00:54:32.933 --> 00:54:34.301
pretty hard there, young lady.

1134
00:54:36.203 --> 00:54:38.771
Oh! God!

1135
00:54:38.804 --> 00:54:40.207
<i>"I'm through being cool.</i>

1136
00:54:40.240 --> 00:54:42.008
<i>"Or, more accurately,
I'm through</i>

1137
00:54:42.042 --> 00:54:43.944
<i>"entertaining the notion
that anybody could even</i>

1138
00:54:43.977 --> 00:54:47.080
<i>"consider the possibility
of coolness emanating from</i>

1139
00:54:47.113 --> 00:54:49.382
<i>or residing anywhere near me."</i>

1140
00:54:49.416 --> 00:54:52.118
Everybody kick to the camera.

1141
00:54:52.152 --> 00:54:54.487
Hi-yah!

1142
00:54:54.521 --> 00:54:57.157
<i>"The essence of cool, after all,</i>

1143
00:54:57.190 --> 00:54:58.959
<i>"is not giving a fuck.</i>

1144
00:54:58.992 --> 00:55:02.828
<i>And let's face it, I most
definitely give a fuck now."</i>

1145
00:55:04.564 --> 00:55:06.266
<i>You know, my whole life,</i>

1146
00:55:06.299 --> 00:55:08.501
<i>I was like a kid with my nose
pressed against the glass,</i>

1147
00:55:08.535 --> 00:55:10.836
<i>like, wondering, you know,
"what must it be like to, like,</i>

1148
00:55:10.869 --> 00:55:14.174
<i>"have a kid and, you know,
a normal family</i>

1149
00:55:14.207 --> 00:55:16.809
<i>"and-and stand in the backyard
with this silly apron,</i>

1150
00:55:16.842 --> 00:55:18.911
you know, barbecuing burgers?"

1151
00:55:18.945 --> 00:55:20.389
- And so when I find...
- Can I get a picture of that?

1152
00:55:20.413 --> 00:55:22.048
When I find myself

1153
00:55:22.082 --> 00:55:26.253
doing that, I am, like,
ridiculously, stupid happy.

1154
00:55:26.286 --> 00:55:28.421
Like, I do a lot of
pretty cool shit now.

1155
00:55:28.455 --> 00:55:30.399
I travel all over the world,
I see all these amazing things,

1156
00:55:30.423 --> 00:55:34.294
but I'm never happier than when
I'm standing in-in the backyard

1157
00:55:34.327 --> 00:55:38.365
being, like, TV dad, because...

1158
00:55:38.398 --> 00:55:39.933
I-I feel normal.

1159
00:55:39.966 --> 00:55:41.277
You know?
Whatever the hell that means.

1160
00:55:41.301 --> 00:55:42.402
Yeah, what does that mean?

1161
00:55:44.571 --> 00:55:47.007
<i>I live a very strange life.</i>

1162
00:55:47.040 --> 00:55:49.309
<i>I try to make up for it
when I go home</i>

1163
00:55:49.342 --> 00:55:51.011
<i>by cooking aggressively.</i>

1164
00:55:51.044 --> 00:55:53.046
<i>Like, I try to kill people
around me with food.</i>

1165
00:55:53.079 --> 00:55:55.081
<i>You know, like,
"eat, eat, you know.</i>

1166
00:55:55.115 --> 00:55:57.017
<i>Why aren't you eating?
Don't you love me?"</i>

1167
00:55:58.251 --> 00:56:00.420
<i>He straddled the world of</i>

1168
00:56:00.453 --> 00:56:02.155
<i>being the domestic guy,</i>

1169
00:56:02.188 --> 00:56:06.092
but that pull for
the experience outside...

1170
00:56:06.126 --> 00:56:08.561
<i>You know, like as if
it was gonna slip away</i>

1171
00:56:08.595 --> 00:56:12.332
<i>if he wasn't there...
Was equally as great.</i>

1172
00:56:15.435 --> 00:56:17.937
<i>He was always rushing.</i>

1173
00:56:17.971 --> 00:56:19.905
<i>He was rushing everywhere.</i>

1174
00:56:19.939 --> 00:56:21.840
<i>He was rushing
to get into the scene.</i>

1175
00:56:21.874 --> 00:56:23.977
<i>He was rushing to get
out of the scene.</i>

1176
00:56:24.010 --> 00:56:26.046
Rushing to get
out of the country.

1177
00:56:26.079 --> 00:56:30.984
Rushing to go somewhere next,
even if he had nowhere to go.

1178
00:56:43.229 --> 00:56:45.632
♪ Making time... ♪

1179
00:56:45.665 --> 00:56:47.334
<i>Traveling the earth alone</i>

1180
00:56:47.367 --> 00:56:49.402
<i>is what I'm accustomed to
being on a tour.</i>

1181
00:56:49.436 --> 00:56:53.239
<i>And as fathers,
we bonded over that feeling</i>

1182
00:56:53.273 --> 00:56:55.075
<i>and feeling like,</i>

1183
00:56:55.108 --> 00:56:57.077
"I'm here to give
a piece of myself away."

1184
00:56:57.110 --> 00:56:59.579
And, um, as the years go on,
that can be difficult.

1185
00:56:59.612 --> 00:57:01.880
♪ Everybody leaving... ♪

1186
00:57:01.914 --> 00:57:03.483
- Close.
- The wind. That was the wind.

1187
00:57:03.516 --> 00:57:07.087
Right. We got to, we got to,
you know, factor that in.

1188
00:57:07.687 --> 00:57:09.089
There we go.

1189
00:57:09.122 --> 00:57:10.490
<i>And we just hit it off.</i>

1190
00:57:10.523 --> 00:57:12.559
What do you call
an eternal optimist?

1191
00:57:12.592 --> 00:57:14.361
An accordion player
with a beeper.

1192
00:57:16.096 --> 00:57:18.631
<i>It's hard to make friends.</i>

1193
00:57:18.665 --> 00:57:20.100
<i>To be at the tip of the spear,</i>

1194
00:57:20.133 --> 00:57:22.335
<i>it's like asking for loneliness.</i>

1195
00:57:22.369 --> 00:57:23.636
Oh!

1196
00:57:24.704 --> 00:57:26.039
Oh, yeah.

1197
00:57:26.072 --> 00:57:27.574
That motherfucker
bled out already.

1198
00:57:28.942 --> 00:57:30.377
Straight to the jugular.

1199
00:57:30.410 --> 00:57:32.011
♪ Closing your eyes ♪

1200
00:57:32.045 --> 00:57:36.082
♪ making more excuses ♪

1201
00:57:36.116 --> 00:57:37.384
♪ pulling the wool... ♪

1202
00:57:37.417 --> 00:57:39.285
- Yeah.
- Can you make it three?

1203
00:57:41.454 --> 00:57:43.490
- Well, cheers to that.
- Cheers.

1204
00:57:43.523 --> 00:57:47.394
I always think of, "yo, ho, ho,
a pirate's life for me."

1205
00:57:47.427 --> 00:57:48.561
That's-that's what I think.

1206
00:57:48.595 --> 00:57:50.063
I mean, that's...

1207
00:57:50.096 --> 00:57:51.998
But you've been,
you've been touring for...?

1208
00:57:52.031 --> 00:57:54.134
Since I was 18, yeah.

1209
00:57:54.167 --> 00:57:54.968
You know?

1210
00:57:55.001 --> 00:57:56.369
You know, but it's weird.

1211
00:57:56.403 --> 00:57:59.105
I-I'm home for... i'm
ridiculously happy for a week,

1212
00:57:59.139 --> 00:58:00.483
and then I start getting,
like, crazy,

1213
00:58:00.507 --> 00:58:02.041
like I should be
doing something.

1214
00:58:02.075 --> 00:58:03.676
I call it the bittersweet curse.

1215
00:58:03.710 --> 00:58:06.413
Nothing feels better
than going home.

1216
00:58:06.446 --> 00:58:08.581
And nothing feels better
than leaving home.

1217
00:58:10.216 --> 00:58:12.485
- Yeah, you got a point.
- You know?

1218
00:58:21.261 --> 00:58:23.229
<i>I loved watching him
pick up influence</i>

1219
00:58:23.263 --> 00:58:25.465
<i>as he went along through life.</i>

1220
00:58:27.467 --> 00:58:29.702
<i>He's a great
American storyteller,</i>

1221
00:58:29.736 --> 00:58:32.172
<i>and he started off as a voyeur.</i>

1222
00:58:35.308 --> 00:58:39.078
<i>He's watching these
and detailing these great tales</i>

1223
00:58:39.112 --> 00:58:40.613
<i>of what you're seeing.</i>

1224
00:58:40.647 --> 00:58:42.982
<i>And then, all of a sudden,
he's starting to live</i>

1225
00:58:43.016 --> 00:58:45.251
<i>those stories that he's telling.</i>

1226
00:58:45.285 --> 00:58:47.987
<i>He's starting to look inside.</i>

1227
00:58:59.365 --> 00:59:01.100
<i>"I think I said earlier"</i>

1228
00:59:01.134 --> 00:59:03.703
<i>"that I was gonna
tell you the truth."</i>

1229
00:59:03.736 --> 00:59:05.405
<i>"This is part of it."</i>

1230
00:59:07.740 --> 00:59:11.211
<i>"I was unqualified for the job.</i>

1231
00:59:11.244 --> 00:59:14.981
<i>"I was in deep waters
and fast-flowing ones at that.</i>

1232
00:59:16.382 --> 00:59:19.519
<i>The currents could change
at any time without warning."</i>

1233
00:59:21.588 --> 00:59:24.123
<i>"Like a lot of travelers,
I started to turn inward</i>

1234
00:59:24.157 --> 00:59:25.492
<i>"from the view out the window,</i>

1235
00:59:25.525 --> 00:59:27.727
<i>"started to see
what was going on out there</i>

1236
00:59:27.760 --> 00:59:30.129
<i>through an ever-narrowing lens."</i>

1237
00:59:32.232 --> 00:59:34.234
<i>It is written
that I should be loyal</i>

1238
00:59:34.267 --> 00:59:36.503
<i>to the nightmare of my choice.</i>

1239
00:59:36.536 --> 00:59:39.372
<i>I think I now understand
what that means.</i>

1240
00:59:44.410 --> 00:59:46.479
You want to be my pilot?

1241
00:59:46.513 --> 00:59:48.047
Yeah.

1242
00:59:48.081 --> 00:59:49.649
I don't see what the problem is.

1243
00:59:49.682 --> 00:59:51.551
Weather looks fine to me.

1244
00:59:53.486 --> 00:59:55.655
I'm sure we'll be fine.

1245
00:59:57.824 --> 01:00:00.226
Wow. Nice.

1246
01:00:00.260 --> 01:00:03.563
Security situation good,
weather not so good.

1247
01:00:03.596 --> 01:00:05.431
Are you frightened, by the way?

1248
01:00:05.465 --> 01:00:07.734
Yeah, look at him. Look at him.
He's scared shitless.

1249
01:00:07.767 --> 01:00:09.235
I don't like flying.

1250
01:00:16.376 --> 01:00:18.678
<i>I think that the Congo was,</i>

1251
01:00:18.711 --> 01:00:20.446
<i>without question,</i>

1252
01:00:20.480 --> 01:00:24.150
<i>the most dangerous place
we ever made the show.</i>

1253
01:00:24.183 --> 01:00:26.319
It was something
that couldn't be done.

1254
01:00:26.352 --> 01:00:28.597
That was a big part of it, and
we're always gonna figure out

1255
01:00:28.621 --> 01:00:31.424
a way to do something
that couldn't be done.

1256
01:00:32.492 --> 01:00:35.828
<i>Everyone gets
everything he wants.</i>

1257
01:00:35.862 --> 01:00:38.298
<i>I wanted to see the Congo.</i>

1258
01:00:38.331 --> 01:00:41.234
<i>And for my sins, they let me.</i>

1259
01:00:42.368 --> 01:00:45.104
<i>This is a place
I read about as a boy.</i>

1260
01:00:45.138 --> 01:00:48.508
<i>In</i> heart of darkness,
<i>Conrad described it as</i>

1261
01:00:48.541 --> 01:00:50.643
<i>a twisting snake with its head
in the Atlantic ocean</i>

1262
01:00:50.677 --> 01:00:54.380
<i>and its tail buried deep
in Africa's heart.</i>

1263
01:00:55.248 --> 01:00:56.683
<i>Congo was a fulfillment</i>

1264
01:00:56.716 --> 01:00:58.451
<i>of an enormous dream.</i>

1265
01:00:58.484 --> 01:01:00.720
In our little fantasy,
we were having

1266
01:01:00.753 --> 01:01:03.089
our <i>apocalypse now</i> moment.

1267
01:01:03.823 --> 01:01:06.326
We've rented a trusty vessel,

1268
01:01:06.359 --> 01:01:09.429
and I shall dub thee
the <i>captain Willard.</i>

1269
01:01:12.465 --> 01:01:14.467
<i>Tony was finding ways</i>

1270
01:01:14.500 --> 01:01:18.671
<i>to push himself towards his not
just understanding of the world</i>

1271
01:01:18.705 --> 01:01:20.673
<i>but understanding of himself.</i>

1272
01:01:20.707 --> 01:01:22.809
<i>Are you an assassin?</i>

1273
01:01:22.842 --> 01:01:25.178
<i>I'm a soldier.</i>

1274
01:01:25.211 --> 01:01:27.580
<i>It's like, which character is he</i>

1275
01:01:27.614 --> 01:01:29.182
<i>in that film?</i>

1276
01:01:29.215 --> 01:01:31.818
<i>They say my methods are unsound.</i>

1277
01:01:31.851 --> 01:01:34.420
Are my methods unsound?

1278
01:01:35.321 --> 01:01:36.665
Do you think
my methods are unsound?

1279
01:01:36.689 --> 01:01:39.626
I haven't seen
any method at all, colonel.

1280
01:01:39.659 --> 01:01:41.628
<i>In Congo, he got to be someone</i>

1281
01:01:41.661 --> 01:01:45.698
<i>who has pushed himself into
the lunacy of a world</i>

1282
01:01:45.732 --> 01:01:47.233
<i>without law,</i>

1283
01:01:47.266 --> 01:01:48.635
without order,
without structure.

1284
01:01:49.802 --> 01:01:51.771
<i>He got to stand there</i>

1285
01:01:51.804 --> 01:01:53.506
<i>with a three-foot machete</i>

1286
01:01:53.539 --> 01:01:55.742
and direct the assassination
of chickens.

1287
01:02:01.481 --> 01:02:04.684
<i>When you get
really deep into travel,</i>

1288
01:02:04.717 --> 01:02:06.428
<i>I think there's an itch
that you want to scratch</i>

1289
01:02:06.452 --> 01:02:08.956
<i>that is out on the edge
of that envelope,</i>

1290
01:02:08.989 --> 01:02:11.424
<i>where chaos rules.</i>

1291
01:02:12.558 --> 01:02:17.397
<i>Because it strips away all of
the functional artifice of</i>

1292
01:02:17.430 --> 01:02:19.465
<i>how we go through our life,</i>

1293
01:02:19.499 --> 01:02:23.903
<i>and it leaves you with
just the sensory experience.</i>

1294
01:02:46.994 --> 01:02:48.561
<i>Anthony bourdain,</i>

1295
01:02:48.594 --> 01:02:50.396
<i>the renowned chef
and best-selling author,</i>

1296
01:02:50.430 --> 01:02:52.966
<i>has a new program,</i>
parts unknown,

1297
01:02:53.000 --> 01:02:54.867
<i>and it showcases bourdain's gift</i>

1298
01:02:54.901 --> 01:02:58.371
<i>for finding the essence
of a country or a culture.</i>

1299
01:02:58.404 --> 01:03:00.907
Is it about the journalism,

1300
01:03:00.941 --> 01:03:02.742
or is it about the tourism?

1301
01:03:02.775 --> 01:03:05.311
Is it about the people?
Is it about the food?

1302
01:03:05.344 --> 01:03:07.014
<i>It's a strange combination of</i>

1303
01:03:07.047 --> 01:03:08.581
<i>food, politics</i>

1304
01:03:08.614 --> 01:03:10.850
<i>and a decisively personal
point of view.</i>

1305
01:03:10.883 --> 01:03:13.753
His reports from Israel,
the Palestinian Territories,

1306
01:03:13.786 --> 01:03:16.622
Mexico and Lyon, France,
were simply superb.

1307
01:03:16.656 --> 01:03:18.558
<i>He's traveled roughly</i>

1308
01:03:18.591 --> 01:03:21.962
662,000 miles...

1309
01:03:21.995 --> 01:03:23.997
Around the globe

1310
01:03:24.031 --> 01:03:26.532
<i>26 times.</i>

1311
01:03:26.566 --> 01:03:27.743
Uh, you know, I actually
went to tangier

1312
01:03:27.767 --> 01:03:28.969
because you had gone there.

1313
01:03:29.002 --> 01:03:30.737
And you've had
a big impact on me.

1314
01:03:32.371 --> 01:03:34.574
<i>Tony was very aware</i>

1315
01:03:34.607 --> 01:03:39.479
<i>of his own ability to promote
other people's voices.</i>

1316
01:03:39.512 --> 01:03:41.048
<i>But I do think that,</i>

1317
01:03:41.081 --> 01:03:42.515
even though we moved to CNN,

1318
01:03:42.548 --> 01:03:45.752
<i>he won a peabody
and several emmys,</i>

1319
01:03:45.785 --> 01:03:50.523
<i>he began to question who was
benefiting from these shows.</i>

1320
01:04:03.402 --> 01:04:06.372
Okay, so we're just gonna
set up a shot with the TV.

1321
01:04:06.405 --> 01:04:07.975
Me laying on the bed,
watching CNN.

1322
01:04:08.008 --> 01:04:10.810
- Okay.
- Libya news.

1323
01:04:13.679 --> 01:04:15.381
This is CNN.

1324
01:04:15.414 --> 01:04:16.916
It is Friday, January the 25th.

1325
01:04:16.950 --> 01:04:18.518
I'm kristie lu stout. This is...

1326
01:04:18.551 --> 01:04:19.886
<i>I'm not a news fan.</i>

1327
01:04:19.919 --> 01:04:21.654
<i>I'm not a journalist.</i>

1328
01:04:21.687 --> 01:04:24.390
<i>I'm not an advocate.
I'm not an educator.</i>

1329
01:04:24.423 --> 01:04:27.426
<i>I'm not looking
to inspire or, uh...</i>

1330
01:04:27.460 --> 01:04:28.828
<i>I don't have a political agenda.</i>

1331
01:04:28.861 --> 01:04:30.696
<i>If anything, I like very much
going to a place</i>

1332
01:04:30.730 --> 01:04:32.933
<i>thinking one thing
and being completely wrong</i>

1333
01:04:32.966 --> 01:04:34.767
<i>about all of it.</i>

1334
01:04:45.045 --> 01:04:48.848
<i>He was a journalist
and he was political,</i>

1335
01:04:48.881 --> 01:04:50.817
but he was a storyteller.

1336
01:04:51.717 --> 01:04:54.353
<i>And he didn't realize, I think,</i>

1337
01:04:54.387 --> 01:04:56.589
<i>how political he was.</i>

1338
01:04:58.992 --> 01:05:00.827
<i>We tend to see places</i>

1339
01:05:00.860 --> 01:05:04.597
<i>in the middle east and Africa
in particular...</i>

1340
01:05:04.630 --> 01:05:07.466
<i>We only see them
when bad things happen.</i>

1341
01:05:11.537 --> 01:05:13.873
<i>If you just follow the news,
you'll be reminded about</i>

1342
01:05:13.906 --> 01:05:17.010
<i>kidnappings in Algeria,
unrest in Tunisia,</i>

1343
01:05:17.044 --> 01:05:20.913
<i>terrorist cells to the south,
deadly riots in Egypt,</i>

1344
01:05:20.948 --> 01:05:24.417
<i>and of course islamic extremist
attacks in Benghazi</i>

1345
01:05:24.450 --> 01:05:26.652
<i>that killed the U.S. ambassador.</i>

1346
01:05:27.820 --> 01:05:31.657
<i>All those things
are very real concerns.</i>

1347
01:05:31.691 --> 01:05:33.860
<i>But if you only look
at what's on the news,</i>

1348
01:05:33.893 --> 01:05:36.997
<i>you can miss maybe
what's a bigger picture.</i>

1349
01:05:53.679 --> 01:05:55.615
<i>You can literally see it</i>

1350
01:05:55.648 --> 01:05:58.885
<i>as he goes and travels
more and more and more.</i>

1351
01:05:58.918 --> 01:06:01.554
It was almost never
about food, you know?

1352
01:06:01.587 --> 01:06:02.990
I think it was about Tony

1353
01:06:03.023 --> 01:06:05.458
learning how to be
a better person.

1354
01:06:07.660 --> 01:06:09.662
You know, I try
to emulate Christ

1355
01:06:09.695 --> 01:06:10.931
in small ways every day.

1356
01:06:10.964 --> 01:06:12.632
You do?

1357
01:06:12.665 --> 01:06:14.467
Yeah.

1358
01:06:14.500 --> 01:06:16.103
Can't you tell?

1359
01:06:16.136 --> 01:06:17.603
And I mean that in a,

1360
01:06:17.637 --> 01:06:19.048
in a completely
non-disrespectful way.

1361
01:06:19.072 --> 01:06:21.041
No, no, I can imagine.

1362
01:06:21.074 --> 01:06:23.210
I mean, you're trying.

1363
01:06:23.243 --> 01:06:25.444
You are inspiring
so many people with the show.

1364
01:06:25.478 --> 01:06:27.047
You have a good Karma.

1365
01:06:27.080 --> 01:06:28.547
Can't believe you say that.

1366
01:06:28.581 --> 01:06:30.050
- Yeah.
- Good Karma?

1367
01:06:30.083 --> 01:06:31.751
I think so.

1368
01:06:32.785 --> 01:06:33.786
Well...

1369
01:06:35.755 --> 01:06:37.924
- Doesn't this concern you...
- This is a good Karma.

1370
01:06:37.958 --> 01:06:39.192
As a Buddhist?

1371
01:06:39.226 --> 01:06:41.061
- Look we're sitting here in provence.
- Yeah.

1372
01:06:41.094 --> 01:06:42.595
- So?
- Wait a minute.

1373
01:06:42.628 --> 01:06:44.007
- We just had this fantastic meal.
- Yeah.

1374
01:06:44.031 --> 01:06:47.833
We're moving on
to the 2011 after the 2010.

1375
01:06:47.867 --> 01:06:50.636
Life, admittedly for you,
has been pretty sweet.

1376
01:06:50.670 --> 01:06:51.437
Yeah.

1377
01:06:51.470 --> 01:06:53.974
- Isn't that worrying to you?
- No.

1378
01:06:54.007 --> 01:06:55.884
We're sitting in provence.
It's like a wine label.

1379
01:06:55.908 --> 01:06:58.611
The next life cannot possibly
be better than this.

1380
01:06:58.644 --> 01:07:00.613
It's probably gonna suck.

1381
01:07:00.646 --> 01:07:02.782
Enjoy every minute
of this now, Eric.

1382
01:07:02.815 --> 01:07:03.683
And pray.

1383
01:07:03.716 --> 01:07:05.718
Pray, pray that this is it,

1384
01:07:05.751 --> 01:07:07.687
because if you're right
and there is a next life,

1385
01:07:07.720 --> 01:07:09.689
we are fucked, my friend.

1386
01:07:09.722 --> 01:07:11.791
I may come back
as a sea cucumber,

1387
01:07:11.824 --> 01:07:14.560
but you're coming back
as, like, a yorkie.

1388
01:07:14.593 --> 01:07:15.963
Or, you know, if you're lucky.

1389
01:07:17.297 --> 01:07:19.032
I'll take the yorkie.

1390
01:07:19.066 --> 01:07:22.269
<i>At the end of the day,
Tony's dark as fuck, man.</i>

1391
01:07:22.302 --> 01:07:23.971
<i>Give you an example.</i>

1392
01:07:24.004 --> 01:07:26.572
Like, everyone asked
Tony's fucking favorite music,

1393
01:07:26.605 --> 01:07:28.808
and he would always give
the same bullshit answers,

1394
01:07:28.841 --> 01:07:32.645
like, uh, uh, "96 mysterios"
or that fucking song.

1395
01:07:32.678 --> 01:07:34.081
- He loved that song.
- "96 tears."

1396
01:07:34.114 --> 01:07:35.514
"96 tears."

1397
01:07:35.548 --> 01:07:37.683
And he loved, um, "super fly"

1398
01:07:37.717 --> 01:07:40.753
and, um, and Curtis Mayfield's
soundtrack.

1399
01:07:40.786 --> 01:07:43.622
There's no downers
in the fucking bunch.

1400
01:07:44.924 --> 01:07:49.829
This was what Tony told me
was his favorite song.

1401
01:07:59.139 --> 01:08:01.041
He loved this fucking song.

1402
01:08:19.326 --> 01:08:21.128
<i>It's a great song.</i>

1403
01:08:21.161 --> 01:08:23.163
<i>But it's heroin music.</i>

1404
01:08:30.303 --> 01:08:32.039
<i>In the early '70s,</i>

1405
01:08:32.072 --> 01:08:33.606
<i>this is where I lived.</i>

1406
01:08:33.639 --> 01:08:36.043
You know, back then,
if you brought us heroin,

1407
01:08:36.076 --> 01:08:37.743
we would've said, "ah, cool.

1408
01:08:37.777 --> 01:08:40.080
I'll totally... I would like
to try some of that."

1409
01:08:40.113 --> 01:08:43.316
It wasn't like I fell into it
or accidentally got addicted

1410
01:08:43.350 --> 01:08:44.927
or, you know,
"oh, really, it's addicting?

1411
01:08:44.951 --> 01:08:47.154
Gee, how'd that happen?"
No, I knew.

1412
01:08:48.021 --> 01:08:49.822
<i>He never really dealt with</i>

1413
01:08:49.855 --> 01:08:51.757
<i>the insecurity
and all the issues</i>

1414
01:08:51.791 --> 01:08:54.727
<i>that put him
down that road to begin with.</i>

1415
01:08:56.296 --> 01:08:57.663
You know, it's a lot easier

1416
01:08:57.696 --> 01:08:59.099
when you talk to choe
about this,

1417
01:08:59.132 --> 01:09:01.334
<i>'cause, like,
that motherfucker is so dark.</i>

1418
01:09:01.368 --> 01:09:03.103
♪ Flying over my head... ♪

1419
01:09:03.136 --> 01:09:05.871
<i>People forget
Anthony bourdain was a junkie.</i>

1420
01:09:05.905 --> 01:09:07.307
<i>Like, he's a drug addict,</i>

1421
01:09:07.340 --> 01:09:08.741
and I'm also a junkie.

1422
01:09:08.774 --> 01:09:10.743
I don't do drugs, but
I do everything else.

1423
01:09:11.677 --> 01:09:13.122
<i>Overeaters anonymous,
debtors anonymous,</i>

1424
01:09:13.146 --> 01:09:15.315
<i>gamblers anonymous,
sex addicts anonymous,</i>

1425
01:09:15.348 --> 01:09:17.117
<i>sex and love addicts anonymous.</i>

1426
01:09:17.150 --> 01:09:18.884
<i>Uh, I-I go to all the meetings.</i>

1427
01:09:18.918 --> 01:09:20.886
<i>I'll tell you something</i>

1428
01:09:20.920 --> 01:09:23.090
<i>really shameful about myself.</i>

1429
01:09:23.123 --> 01:09:24.690
The first time I shot up,

1430
01:09:24.723 --> 01:09:26.960
I looked at myself
in the mirror with a big grin.

1431
01:09:26.993 --> 01:09:29.895
<i>You know,
something was missing in me.</i>

1432
01:09:29.930 --> 01:09:31.965
Some part of me
wanted to be a dope fiend.

1433
01:09:31.998 --> 01:09:34.700
My whole life was
leading up to that point.

1434
01:09:34.733 --> 01:09:36.103
<i>In my mind,</i>

1435
01:09:36.136 --> 01:09:40.739
<i>it was my first step
towards being an artist.</i>

1436
01:09:41.740 --> 01:09:43.776
<i>Do you think a-a certain level
of dissatisfaction</i>

1437
01:09:43.809 --> 01:09:45.278
<i>or unhappiness
is an integral part</i>

1438
01:09:45.312 --> 01:09:46.947
<i>of the creative process?</i>

1439
01:09:46.980 --> 01:09:48.848
<i>I think
even great art can be created</i>

1440
01:09:48.881 --> 01:09:52.252
when you're happy, but I think
the best art in the universe

1441
01:09:52.285 --> 01:09:56.389
is created through
intense suffering.

1442
01:09:56.423 --> 01:09:59.359
So then, do you put yourself
in a situation

1443
01:09:59.392 --> 01:10:02.028
where you're constantly in pain?

1444
01:10:03.296 --> 01:10:05.698
And the answer
to that question is yes.

1445
01:10:05.731 --> 01:10:07.700
That's just about
everybody I know.

1446
01:10:07.733 --> 01:10:09.869
I don't know
what this says about me.

1447
01:10:13.039 --> 01:10:14.773
<i>I think it was one of</i>

1448
01:10:14.807 --> 01:10:16.219
<i>the first conversations
I ever had with him.</i>

1449
01:10:16.243 --> 01:10:17.954
<i>"I was like," hey, I know
I'm just meeting you,</i>

1450
01:10:17.978 --> 01:10:20.013
<i>"but I-I don't know
one heroin addict</i>

1451
01:10:20.046 --> 01:10:22.815
<i>"that has quit
cold Turkey besides you.</i>

1452
01:10:22.848 --> 01:10:25.051
<i>Tell me how you did it."</i>

1453
01:10:26.286 --> 01:10:29.322
I got through, but,
you know, my case, it was like

1454
01:10:29.356 --> 01:10:32.392
I looked in a mirror and I...

1455
01:10:32.425 --> 01:10:34.894
I saw somebody worth saving, um,

1456
01:10:34.927 --> 01:10:38.198
or that I wanted to at least
try real hard and save.

1457
01:10:38.231 --> 01:10:40.733
Um...

1458
01:10:40.766 --> 01:10:43.303
You know, nobody...

1459
01:10:43.336 --> 01:10:45.272
Nobody saved me.

1460
01:10:46.339 --> 01:10:48.874
And he goes, "you just work."

1461
01:10:50.210 --> 01:10:52.312
<i>When he told me that,
I bought into it</i>

1462
01:10:52.345 --> 01:10:53.980
<i>when I first met him.</i>

1463
01:10:54.014 --> 01:10:57.484
<i>And then
as I got to know him more,</i>

1464
01:10:57.517 --> 01:10:59.319
<i>I realized it jumped.</i>

1465
01:10:59.352 --> 01:11:00.353
The addiction jumped.

1466
01:11:08.128 --> 01:11:11.198
<i>When he threw himself
into something,</i>

1467
01:11:11.231 --> 01:11:14.134
<i>he threw himself completely.</i>

1468
01:11:15.268 --> 01:11:16.835
<i>Jujitsu was a good one</i>

1469
01:11:16.869 --> 01:11:18.804
because he got super healthy.

1470
01:11:18.837 --> 01:11:20.507
He looked great.
He stopped smoking.

1471
01:11:20.540 --> 01:11:22.209
He felt energized.

1472
01:11:22.242 --> 01:11:23.842
He felt powerful.

1473
01:11:24.810 --> 01:11:26.479
Oh.

1474
01:11:26.513 --> 01:11:28.348
Abort.

1475
01:11:28.381 --> 01:11:30.083
<i>I started at 58.</i>

1476
01:11:30.116 --> 01:11:32.352
<i>My wife is
a fairly high-level competitor</i>

1477
01:11:32.385 --> 01:11:33.786
<i>and, uh, trains every...</i>

1478
01:11:33.819 --> 01:11:35.288
<i>Higher level than you are?</i>

1479
01:11:35.322 --> 01:11:36.822
<i>W-way, way beyond</i>

1480
01:11:36.855 --> 01:11:38.358
<i>- where I'll ever be.
- Yeah.</i>

1481
01:11:38.391 --> 01:11:40.227
<i>Ottavia wanted to be able</i>

1482
01:11:40.260 --> 01:11:43.330
<i>to kill anyone
who came at their daughter.</i>

1483
01:11:45.898 --> 01:11:48.001
So that's where
the initial jujitsu interest

1484
01:11:48.034 --> 01:11:51.371
<i>in that family came from,
and it was a good thing for Tony</i>

1485
01:11:51.404 --> 01:11:52.939
<i>to be obsessed with for a while.</i>

1486
01:11:54.341 --> 01:11:57.377
<i>There is this aspect
of problem-solving</i>

1487
01:11:57.410 --> 01:12:01.348
<i>under pressure that it was
really appealing to him.</i>

1488
01:12:01.381 --> 01:12:03.049
Step over!

1489
01:12:03.083 --> 01:12:04.783
<i>But anyone who gets into jujitsu</i>

1490
01:12:04.817 --> 01:12:06.128
<i>becomes, like, impossible
to be around.</i>

1491
01:12:06.152 --> 01:12:09.990
I know because...
From experience.

1492
01:12:10.023 --> 01:12:12.092
<i>At a certain point, you're like,</i>

1493
01:12:12.125 --> 01:12:14.860
<i>"dude, come on, stop talking
about fucking jujitsu."</i>

1494
01:12:14.893 --> 01:12:16.829
I don't know anything
about jujitsu.

1495
01:12:16.862 --> 01:12:19.065
Like, I can't have
this conversation,

1496
01:12:19.099 --> 01:12:23.869
<i>and yet I'm on like hour 150
talking to you about jujitsu.</i>

1497
01:12:25.171 --> 01:12:27.073
<i>I mean, his attention and focus</i>

1498
01:12:27.107 --> 01:12:31.444
<i>was so strong,
but there was always a timeline.</i>

1499
01:12:32.412 --> 01:12:34.414
I don't think there was
anything that would have

1500
01:12:34.447 --> 01:12:37.017
lasted forever in his world.

1501
01:12:37.050 --> 01:12:40.487
No person, place,
thing, interest.

1502
01:12:42.022 --> 01:12:43.856
I have to show you first.

1503
01:12:43.889 --> 01:12:45.891
Can-can I show you once? Okay.

1504
01:12:47.027 --> 01:12:48.561
Then you skip one
and you go down.

1505
01:12:49.928 --> 01:12:51.264
Then you skip one
and you go down.

1506
01:12:52.432 --> 01:12:53.866
Then you come back up and...

1507
01:12:55.935 --> 01:12:59.306
<i>It always seemed like
what he wanted was,</i>

1508
01:12:59.339 --> 01:13:03.842
<i>you know, this, uh, idyllic
picture of, like, you know,</i>

1509
01:13:03.876 --> 01:13:07.113
<i>a family and ordinary life.</i>

1510
01:13:07.147 --> 01:13:09.049
- No.
- Come on, you were doing it...

1511
01:13:09.082 --> 01:13:12.319
But then when he got it,

1512
01:13:12.352 --> 01:13:15.488
I don't know if it was...

1513
01:13:15.522 --> 01:13:16.956
I don't know.

1514
01:13:16.990 --> 01:13:18.358
Yeah.

1515
01:13:18.391 --> 01:13:21.261
After a while, maybe
that wasn't enough anymore.

1516
01:13:25.065 --> 01:13:27.233
<i>You devoted your book to family.</i>

1517
01:13:27.267 --> 01:13:28.468
<i>Yep.</i>

1518
01:13:28.501 --> 01:13:29.902
<i>The joys of being normal.</i>

1519
01:13:29.936 --> 01:13:31.438
<i>And now you've-you've split.</i>

1520
01:13:31.471 --> 01:13:32.605
- Yep.
- So I just, like...

1521
01:13:32.639 --> 01:13:34.474
Are you rethinking about
being normal

1522
01:13:34.507 --> 01:13:36.385
- or where's your...
- Well, I mean, what is normal?

1523
01:13:36.409 --> 01:13:38.911
I think, you know, what does
the American family look like?

1524
01:13:38.945 --> 01:13:41.348
I mean, I travel
250 days a year.

1525
01:13:41.381 --> 01:13:44.384
You know, how normal
could I ever hope to be?

1526
01:13:54.661 --> 01:13:57.896
<i>Tony and I had been pretty much</i>

1527
01:13:57.931 --> 01:14:01.568
living separate
under the same roof for...

1528
01:14:01.601 --> 01:14:03.236
For quite some time.

1529
01:14:06.606 --> 01:14:08.907
<i>You know,
even if we didn't work out</i>

1530
01:14:08.942 --> 01:14:10.643
<i>as a married couple, you know,</i>

1531
01:14:10.677 --> 01:14:15.014
<i>we're still really good friends
and our focus was ariane.</i>

1532
01:14:17.717 --> 01:14:21.654
<i>That romantic love
kind of dissipated</i>

1533
01:14:21.688 --> 01:14:25.392
after he started
traveling so intensely,

1534
01:14:25.425 --> 01:14:27.293
and then we couldn't follow him.

1535
01:14:34.734 --> 01:14:37.404
<i>It flowers once
every five years.</i>

1536
01:14:37.437 --> 01:14:38.505
That's all.

1537
01:14:40.073 --> 01:14:44.077
I'll be back
before it flowers again.

1538
01:14:45.011 --> 01:14:46.413
Cross my heart.

1539
01:14:52.252 --> 01:14:54.554
<i>He was devastated.</i>

1540
01:14:54.587 --> 01:14:56.423
He was losing his home base.

1541
01:14:56.456 --> 01:15:00.527
<i>And it left him
incredibly vulnerable.</i>

1542
01:15:08.535 --> 01:15:11.337
<i>I think Tony did blame himself.</i>

1543
01:15:11.371 --> 01:15:13.973
<i>And I think
it also left him wondering</i>

1544
01:15:14.007 --> 01:15:16.309
<i>whether or not he was lovable.</i>

1545
01:15:25.618 --> 01:15:27.520
<i>Is it worse
to be some place awful</i>

1546
01:15:27.554 --> 01:15:32.125
<i>when you're by yourself
or some place really nice</i>

1547
01:15:32.158 --> 01:15:34.194
<i>that you can't share
with anyone?</i>

1548
01:15:40.099 --> 01:15:42.035
<i>I mean,
I have an email that he sent me</i>

1549
01:15:42.068 --> 01:15:43.570
that-that haunts me

1550
01:15:43.603 --> 01:15:46.473
that was just straight-up...

1551
01:15:46.506 --> 01:15:48.274
You know, out of the blue.

1552
01:15:49.509 --> 01:15:52.679
<i>"David, this is
a crazy thing to ask..."</i>

1553
01:15:52.712 --> 01:15:54.247
<i>"...but I'm curious</i>

1554
01:15:54.280 --> 01:15:57.250
<i>and my life
is sort of shit now."</i>

1555
01:15:58.418 --> 01:16:02.388
<i>"You are successful
and I am successful.</i>

1556
01:16:02.422 --> 01:16:04.691
<i>"And I'm wondering:</i>

1557
01:16:04.724 --> 01:16:06.693
<i>Are you happy?"</i>

1558
01:16:14.167 --> 01:16:16.736
<i>I know how hard
that must've been for him</i>

1559
01:16:16.769 --> 01:16:18.238
to even write that email.

1560
01:16:18.271 --> 01:16:19.782
To-to reach out to someone
and be like,

1561
01:16:19.806 --> 01:16:21.374
"hey, man, I'm not doing well."

1562
01:16:32.418 --> 01:16:34.821
<i>The era of his life with</i>

1563
01:16:34.854 --> 01:16:37.190
<i>his child and ottavia...</i>

1564
01:16:38.324 --> 01:16:42.095
<i>I think it was sort of an
interruption of his trajectory.</i>

1565
01:16:48.334 --> 01:16:51.170
Did he change course
in the last two years?

1566
01:16:51.204 --> 01:16:52.672
No, he got back on track,

1567
01:16:52.705 --> 01:16:55.141
which was not
the greatest track.

1568
01:16:57.844 --> 01:16:59.812
<i>Hi, Tony. How are you?</i>

1569
01:16:59.846 --> 01:17:01.548
I'm all right. Here?

1570
01:17:01.581 --> 01:17:02.582
Outstanding. Good.

1571
01:17:02.615 --> 01:17:04.250
That's awesome.

1572
01:17:04.284 --> 01:17:06.119
I even brought a note...

1573
01:17:06.152 --> 01:17:07.687
I took notes.

1574
01:17:07.720 --> 01:17:09.689
I was thinking of all my...

1575
01:17:09.722 --> 01:17:12.325
All of my ailments and problems.

1576
01:17:13.626 --> 01:17:15.361
<i>I haven't done this since</i>

1577
01:17:15.395 --> 01:17:17.564
I was, um...

1578
01:17:17.597 --> 01:17:19.799
Uh, I was a teenager.

1579
01:17:19.832 --> 01:17:21.367
My parents caught me with drugs,

1580
01:17:21.401 --> 01:17:26.272
and as part of the deal,
I saw a therapist briefly.

1581
01:17:27.373 --> 01:17:29.709
And what did you feel about it?

1582
01:17:29.742 --> 01:17:30.710
It's-it's exhausting.

1583
01:17:30.743 --> 01:17:32.845
I mean, I do tend to have

1584
01:17:32.879 --> 01:17:35.181
a sort of a manic personality.

1585
01:17:35.214 --> 01:17:37.216
Everything is going
really, really great

1586
01:17:37.250 --> 01:17:39.385
or it's not going great.

1587
01:17:39.419 --> 01:17:41.354
It can happen at any time.
It's a random thing.

1588
01:17:41.387 --> 01:17:44.457
One minute, I'm okay,
everything's going all right,

1589
01:17:44.490 --> 01:17:46.492
and then suddenly it's...
One little thing

1590
01:17:46.526 --> 01:17:49.228
just sort of sets me off,
and then I find myself,

1591
01:17:49.262 --> 01:17:52.165
uh, you know,
increasingly, uh, thinking...

1592
01:17:52.198 --> 01:17:54.567
I do, I do, I do,
I think about, like,

1593
01:17:54.601 --> 01:17:58.638
momentary fantasies of harming
other people or myself.

1594
01:17:58.671 --> 01:18:00.873
Like I want to kill somebody
or choke them

1595
01:18:00.907 --> 01:18:02.742
or break their arms.

1596
01:18:02.775 --> 01:18:05.612
Uh, I think about that a lot.

1597
01:18:05.645 --> 01:18:07.447
I'd like to be happier.

1598
01:18:07.480 --> 01:18:09.349
I'd like to be able
to be calmer.

1599
01:18:09.382 --> 01:18:11.284
I'd like to be able to relax.

1600
01:18:11.317 --> 01:18:13.753
I'd like to be able to,
you know, look out the window

1601
01:18:13.786 --> 01:18:16.155
and say, "yay, life is good."

1602
01:18:16.189 --> 01:18:18.358
- And you don't?
- No.

1603
01:18:20.526 --> 01:18:22.729
Never?

1604
01:18:24.230 --> 01:18:26.799
Uh, maybe a few seconds
here and there.

1605
01:18:26.833 --> 01:18:29.235
There is a line

1606
01:18:29.268 --> 01:18:32.905
during your life of loneliness

1607
01:18:32.940 --> 01:18:35.675
or-or feeling like
"I want to kill somebody."

1608
01:18:35.708 --> 01:18:39.912
I think that maybe
you should start thinking,

1609
01:18:39.947 --> 01:18:43.549
"do you really want
to change anything?"

1610
01:18:50.356 --> 01:18:52.525
<i>Do you really want to-to change</i>

1611
01:18:52.558 --> 01:18:54.560
<i>the way you feel?</i>

1612
01:18:58.698 --> 01:19:00.700
I suspect it's too late.

1613
01:19:05.905 --> 01:19:09.977
♪ I can settle down ♪

1614
01:19:10.010 --> 01:19:14.414
♪ and be doing just fine ♪

1615
01:19:14.447 --> 01:19:17.417
♪ till I hear an old train... ♪

1616
01:19:17.450 --> 01:19:19.419
I love this car.

1617
01:19:19.452 --> 01:19:21.955
I'm having car envy.

1618
01:19:21.989 --> 01:19:23.690
<i>We were both, like,</i>

1619
01:19:23.723 --> 01:19:26.626
<i>constantly talking about</i>
<i>that movie</i> vanishing point.

1620
01:19:27.760 --> 01:19:28.962
<i>He liked fast cars, as well.</i>

1621
01:19:28.996 --> 01:19:30.430
<i>I love fast cars.</i>

1622
01:19:30.463 --> 01:19:32.966
And then we became pen
pals really for years

1623
01:19:33.000 --> 01:19:35.501
and, um, talked
about everything.

1624
01:19:38.304 --> 01:19:40.273
<i>His whole entire personality</i>

1625
01:19:40.306 --> 01:19:42.508
<i>was that of a searcher.</i>

1626
01:19:42.542 --> 01:19:44.644
<i>I just know that he was
definitely searching</i>

1627
01:19:44.677 --> 01:19:46.746
for something, and-and...

1628
01:19:46.779 --> 01:19:48.949
♪ But you gotta understand ♪

1629
01:19:48.982 --> 01:19:50.850
it was kind of agony for him.

1630
01:19:50.883 --> 01:19:55.588
♪ When the lord made me ♪

1631
01:19:55.621 --> 01:19:59.592
♪ he made a ramblin' man... ♪

1632
01:19:59.625 --> 01:20:01.728
<i>It's this relentless instinct</i>

1633
01:20:01.761 --> 01:20:03.296
<i>to fuck up a good thing.</i>

1634
01:20:03.329 --> 01:20:05.598
<i>I think it's something
that people on TV,</i>

1635
01:20:05.631 --> 01:20:08.868
<i>people who write,
people who cook, share.</i>

1636
01:20:08.901 --> 01:20:12.438
<i>This difficulty in giving love
and receiving love...</i>

1637
01:20:12.472 --> 01:20:15.608
<i>They just don't quite know
how to do it.</i>

1638
01:20:16.609 --> 01:20:19.378
<i>A lot of people loved him a lot.</i>

1639
01:20:19.412 --> 01:20:21.814
I don't know if he believed it.

1640
01:20:23.951 --> 01:20:25.518
So, what do you think?

1641
01:20:25.551 --> 01:20:27.854
I mean, in a metaphysical way,

1642
01:20:27.887 --> 01:20:30.456
- when you look back on your life...
- Yeah.

1643
01:20:30.490 --> 01:20:31.891
For me, I always feel

1644
01:20:31.924 --> 01:20:33.760
this little unease,
like, you know...

1645
01:20:33.793 --> 01:20:35.695
You feel you haven't
suffered enough yet

1646
01:20:35.728 --> 01:20:37.040
- or you haven't done enough...
- How the fuck did this happen?

1647
01:20:37.064 --> 01:20:38.531
- Or yeah.
- You know?

1648
01:20:38.564 --> 01:20:39.775
- How-how'd this happen, you know?
- No.

1649
01:20:39.799 --> 01:20:40.934
No, I know.

1650
01:20:40.968 --> 01:20:42.335
I'm still curious.

1651
01:20:42.368 --> 01:20:43.803
You seem like a curious person.

1652
01:20:43.836 --> 01:20:45.772
- It's my only virtue.
- You're... there you go.

1653
01:20:45.805 --> 01:20:46.839
All right.

1654
01:20:46.873 --> 01:20:48.307
Curious is a good thing to be.

1655
01:20:49.943 --> 01:20:52.378
Given your life...

1656
01:20:52.411 --> 01:20:53.679
What thrills you?

1657
01:20:54.580 --> 01:20:57.416
What just thrills the shit
out of you now?

1658
01:20:57.450 --> 01:21:01.654
Uh, this is very embarrassing,
but... it's really embar...

1659
01:21:01.687 --> 01:21:05.691
Being loved
and actually appreciating

1660
01:21:05.725 --> 01:21:08.361
the people that are
giving that to me.

1661
01:21:18.138 --> 01:21:19.672
Whenever you guys are ready,

1662
01:21:19.705 --> 01:21:20.950
- the cameras are rolling.
- All right.

1663
01:21:20.974 --> 01:21:22.608
We're ready to go.

1664
01:21:24.978 --> 01:21:27.014
All right, you're up?

1665
01:21:27.047 --> 01:21:28.581
So, uh, where are we?

1666
01:21:28.614 --> 01:21:30.126
But don't mention
the name of the place.

1667
01:21:30.150 --> 01:21:31.827
- I mean, turning the napkin over...
- No. Why?

1668
01:21:31.851 --> 01:21:33.362
Well, we don't... you don't want
to blow this place up.

1669
01:21:33.386 --> 01:21:34.687
I don't give a shit.

1670
01:21:34.720 --> 01:21:36.065
I mean, you've been
eating here for how long?

1671
01:21:36.089 --> 01:21:37.991
Since I was a,
since I was a kid.

1672
01:21:38.025 --> 01:21:41.094
So you would come in here
and see nothing but Americans?

1673
01:21:41.128 --> 01:21:42.562
Nothing but?

1674
01:21:42.595 --> 01:21:43.830
- Nothing but?
- Well, yeah.

1675
01:21:43.863 --> 01:21:45.464
- I mean, just an army of...
- Well, yes,

1676
01:21:45.498 --> 01:21:47.034
so nobody busts my balls.

1677
01:21:47.067 --> 01:21:48.969
Okay, then. We are at the...

1678
01:21:49.002 --> 01:21:50.503
So, giving up on that.

1679
01:21:50.536 --> 01:21:52.505
Okay. There we go.

1680
01:21:52.538 --> 01:21:55.042
H-How many generations
of filmmakers in your family?

1681
01:21:55.075 --> 01:21:56.977
Mm, a lot.

1682
01:21:57.010 --> 01:21:58.511
Cheers.

1683
01:21:58.544 --> 01:22:00.613
<i>When Tony met Asia, he's like,</i>

1684
01:22:00.646 --> 01:22:02.715
"she's the best.
Oh, my god, she's so great."

1685
01:22:02.748 --> 01:22:05.518
<i>You know, and, like,
when you were in high school</i>

1686
01:22:05.551 --> 01:22:07.462
<i>and you got laid for
the first time or something.</i>

1687
01:22:07.486 --> 01:22:09.455
You know,
I'm happiest when life is

1688
01:22:09.488 --> 01:22:11.124
kind of like a film.

1689
01:22:11.158 --> 01:22:14.027
So, y-you're happy
in the illusion.

1690
01:22:14.061 --> 01:22:15.928
- 'Cause film is an illusion.
- Yes.

1691
01:22:15.963 --> 01:22:17.496
Yeah, I am.

1692
01:22:17.530 --> 01:22:19.899
No, me, too. I-I understand you.

1693
01:22:21.168 --> 01:22:23.903
<i>He seemed really happy with her.</i>

1694
01:22:25.905 --> 01:22:27.540
You know, I was like, well,

1695
01:22:27.573 --> 01:22:29.977
he found someone
he wants to be with.

1696
01:22:30.010 --> 01:22:31.711
You know, I'm happy for him.

1697
01:22:33.613 --> 01:22:35.882
<i>He told me
that she was very insecure</i>

1698
01:22:35.915 --> 01:22:39.186
<i>about their relationship,
so he just asked me</i>

1699
01:22:39.219 --> 01:22:43.589
<i>to stop posting pictures of us
on social media.</i>

1700
01:22:43.623 --> 01:22:45.625
And-and I think
he really thought

1701
01:22:45.658 --> 01:22:47.760
he was doing the right thing

1702
01:22:47.793 --> 01:22:51.497
<i>to make sure that the person
he loved felt secure.</i>

1703
01:22:52.531 --> 01:22:53.833
<i>Is that a normal urge?</i>

1704
01:22:53.866 --> 01:22:55.701
<i>- For humans?
- I want to be normal?</i>

1705
01:22:55.735 --> 01:22:57.503
<i>I want to be
like everybody else?</i>

1706
01:22:57.536 --> 01:22:59.082
I kind of wanted to be
like everybody else

1707
01:22:59.106 --> 01:23:00.640
when I was a kid,
at least for a while.

1708
01:23:00.673 --> 01:23:02.118
I-I didn't understand
why I couldn't be.

1709
01:23:02.142 --> 01:23:04.177
I think people are happier

1710
01:23:04.211 --> 01:23:05.878
when they feel like
they belong somewhere.

1711
01:23:05.912 --> 01:23:08.048
- I just, i-i...
- That's why I'm never happy

1712
01:23:08.081 --> 01:23:10.616
because I feel I never belong.

1713
01:23:15.721 --> 01:23:17.490
<i>I knew who she was,</i>

1714
01:23:17.523 --> 01:23:19.059
<i>but he never would use her name.</i>

1715
01:23:19.092 --> 01:23:23.196
<i>He would say "crazy Italian
actress" in all the emails.</i>

1716
01:23:23.230 --> 01:23:25.631
All I know is that
he wrote to me a few times

1717
01:23:25.665 --> 01:23:28.035
and said that it was
gonna end very, very badly,

1718
01:23:28.068 --> 01:23:30.436
and that was way back.

1719
01:23:31.038 --> 01:23:32.605
Um, he knew it.

1720
01:23:32.638 --> 01:23:34.241
Oh!

1721
01:23:38.644 --> 01:23:40.546
I bring you to the best places.

1722
01:23:41.881 --> 01:23:44.117
Fuck michelin.

1723
01:23:44.151 --> 01:23:46.519
Michelin?

1724
01:23:46.552 --> 01:23:48.121
<i>His last relationship,</i>

1725
01:23:48.155 --> 01:23:52.259
<i>I guess when you look at it,
it's not that surprising.</i>

1726
01:23:55.195 --> 01:23:57.596
In many ways,
it feels elliptical

1727
01:23:57.630 --> 01:24:00.000
from the-the very beginning.

1728
01:24:02.269 --> 01:24:04.271
Now, some of you might ask,

1729
01:24:04.304 --> 01:24:06.806
"how is this food-related?"
Fuck if I know.

1730
01:24:06.839 --> 01:24:08.808
I guess if I crushed
my skull on a rock,

1731
01:24:08.841 --> 01:24:11.711
parts of me will become
part of the food chain.

1732
01:24:13.879 --> 01:24:15.715
<i>It was one that had,</i>

1733
01:24:15.748 --> 01:24:19.485
at its center, um, extremes.

1734
01:24:20.820 --> 01:24:24.992
<i>It's as if he can't feel
in the mid-zone.</i>

1735
01:24:28.761 --> 01:24:30.297
<i>You know, life is about</i>

1736
01:24:30.330 --> 01:24:32.498
<i>finding a cliff
worth jumping off.</i>

1737
01:24:33.967 --> 01:24:35.601
<i>I felt he was like,</i>

1738
01:24:35.634 --> 01:24:38.071
<i>"I'm gonna look for something
feral and wild."</i>

1739
01:24:40.639 --> 01:24:42.541
Perhaps that is
something to do with age

1740
01:24:42.575 --> 01:24:44.744
and all of a sudden
finding yourself alone.

1741
01:24:51.218 --> 01:24:52.818
<i>This is called, um...</i>

1742
01:24:52.852 --> 01:24:55.621
- Are you guys up?
- Why are you filming me?

1743
01:24:55.654 --> 01:24:56.756
This is called

1744
01:24:56.789 --> 01:24:58.624
"our wolf lady of
the wolf flowers."

1745
01:24:58.657 --> 01:25:00.027
Ah, that's great.

1746
01:25:00.060 --> 01:25:02.928
You know, I have
a-a John lurie over my bed.

1747
01:25:02.963 --> 01:25:04.630
<i>I saw. No, you posted it.</i>

1748
01:25:04.663 --> 01:25:06.166
<i>That was nice
that you posted that.</i>

1749
01:25:06.199 --> 01:25:09.236
<i>No, I love it.
It makes me very, very happy.</i>

1750
01:25:09.269 --> 01:25:11.871
- Does it?
- Yes, it does.

1751
01:25:13.373 --> 01:25:15.908
<i>So he had a dark sense of humor.</i>

1752
01:25:15.942 --> 01:25:18.345
He wasn't Edgar Allan poe.
You know what I mean? He...

1753
01:25:18.378 --> 01:25:19.980
<i>There was
a lot of light around him.</i>

1754
01:25:20.013 --> 01:25:21.014
<i>There really was.</i>

1755
01:25:21.048 --> 01:25:22.648
Bring another one.

1756
01:25:22.681 --> 01:25:24.793
No. I mean, especially, like,
I'm away and I come back

1757
01:25:24.817 --> 01:25:26.762
- and I walk into my room...
- There it is, yeah, yeah.

1758
01:25:26.786 --> 01:25:29.722
I-It feels...
The room vibrates at a frequency

1759
01:25:29.755 --> 01:25:32.059
that makes me comfortable
and-and happy.

1760
01:25:32.092 --> 01:25:33.692
That's cool.

1761
01:25:39.665 --> 01:25:41.667
Thank you.
Eggs, the perfect food.

1762
01:25:41.700 --> 01:25:43.669
- Thank you, sir.
- Eat that.

1763
01:25:43.702 --> 01:25:45.805
<i>We were supposed to have lunch.</i>

1764
01:25:45.838 --> 01:25:47.807
<i>And I said,
"I want to go somewhere quiet</i>

1765
01:25:47.840 --> 01:25:49.242
<i>where nobody knows us."</i>

1766
01:25:49.276 --> 01:25:51.344
And he just sort of stopped
in his tracks and said,

1767
01:25:51.378 --> 01:25:53.380
"I'm becoming agoraphobic."

1768
01:25:55.949 --> 01:25:58.952
<i>And then I saw
the pain in his face.</i>

1769
01:26:02.422 --> 01:26:05.724
<i>Maybe he needed some time away
from it all to reflect a minute</i>

1770
01:26:05.758 --> 01:26:07.893
<i>and then start again
kind of thing, you know?</i>

1771
01:26:07.927 --> 01:26:09.096
<i>I don't...</i>

1772
01:26:09.129 --> 01:26:11.998
It seemed like he was about
to go on to something else.

1773
01:26:17.137 --> 01:26:19.805
<i>His life started
to feel smaller and smaller.</i>

1774
01:26:19.839 --> 01:26:21.874
<i>He couldn't go as many places.</i>

1775
01:26:21.907 --> 01:26:24.810
<i>He couldn't be
out in public as much.</i>

1776
01:26:24.844 --> 01:26:27.147
I could see him whittle away.

1777
01:26:29.915 --> 01:26:32.252
<i>So, places like
the empty quarter</i>

1778
01:26:32.285 --> 01:26:36.789
<i>of the arabian desert started
to really resonate for him.</i>

1779
01:26:36.822 --> 01:26:40.659
<i>To just sit on the edge of</i>

1780
01:26:40.693 --> 01:26:46.133
<i>the largest sand desert in the
world and stare out into it...</i>

1781
01:26:47.400 --> 01:26:49.136
<i>feeling like it's something</i>

1782
01:26:49.169 --> 01:26:53.173
<i>that's bigger than him
and not about him.</i>

1783
01:26:55.774 --> 01:26:57.743
<i>He often talked about how,</i>

1784
01:26:57.776 --> 01:26:59.912
in an ideal world,
he wouldn't be in the show.

1785
01:26:59.946 --> 01:27:01.914
<i>Uh, it would be
his point of view,</i>

1786
01:27:01.948 --> 01:27:04.417
<i>like a camera
moving through space,</i>

1787
01:27:04.451 --> 01:27:07.320
<i>without having
to see him at all.</i>

1788
01:27:24.803 --> 01:27:27.307
<i>"Travel isn't always pretty."</i>

1789
01:27:27.340 --> 01:27:30.177
<i>"You go away. You learn."</i>

1790
01:27:30.210 --> 01:27:33.879
<i>"You get scarred, marked,
changed in the process."</i>

1791
01:27:36.349 --> 01:27:37.917
<i>"It even breaks your heart."</i>

1792
01:28:02.943 --> 01:28:05.011
<i>He was very stressed</i>

1793
01:28:05.045 --> 01:28:07.780
<i>and very weary
and very exhausted.</i>

1794
01:28:09.449 --> 01:28:11.952
He did talk about quitting.

1795
01:28:11.985 --> 01:28:14.120
It happened like
a couple of years ago.

1796
01:28:15.854 --> 01:28:19.925
<i>He asked to see
Chris and I at a bar.</i>

1797
01:28:19.960 --> 01:28:21.894
<i>It was very dramatic.</i>

1798
01:28:21.927 --> 01:28:24.965
He was like, "I can't live
my life like this anymore."

1799
01:28:24.998 --> 01:28:28.368
"I'm done. I'm done with this.
I'm done with you people.

1800
01:28:28.401 --> 01:28:30.103
<i>"Every band comes to an end.</i>

1801
01:28:30.136 --> 01:28:31.981
<i>It's time for us to break up
and go our separate ways."</i>

1802
01:28:32.005 --> 01:28:35.075
<i>"You know,
I've broken one family.</i>

1803
01:28:35.108 --> 01:28:38.378
<i>"I'm in this other relationship
that I care very deeply about</i>

1804
01:28:38.411 --> 01:28:40.813
<i>and I want to make it work."</i>

1805
01:28:40.846 --> 01:28:42.449
<i>And Lydia looked
at Tony and said,</i>

1806
01:28:42.482 --> 01:28:44.517
"then go do it.

1807
01:28:44.551 --> 01:28:46.553
"Go do it.

1808
01:28:46.586 --> 01:28:49.922
"Don't sit here
and talk about it and whine.

1809
01:28:50.889 --> 01:28:53.526
"Get up and go. Leave.

1810
01:28:53.560 --> 01:28:55.228
<i>"Move to Italy, set up.</i>

1811
01:28:55.262 --> 01:28:58.198
<i>We will support you.
We will be your friend. Go."</i>

1812
01:28:58.231 --> 01:29:00.133
<i>"Like, if you're done with this,</i>

1813
01:29:00.166 --> 01:29:01.968
it's okay."

1814
01:29:02.002 --> 01:29:04.437
I don't know. Maybe he was
expecting us to, like,

1815
01:29:04.471 --> 01:29:07.407
grab him and say like,
"no, don't go.

1816
01:29:07.440 --> 01:29:09.842
It's not over. What can we do?"

1817
01:29:10.477 --> 01:29:12.878
He couldn't move.

1818
01:29:14.314 --> 01:29:16.316
It's really kind of sad.

1819
01:29:17.284 --> 01:29:19.052
It's like,

1820
01:29:19.085 --> 01:29:22.188
"then sit the fuck down and
let's talk this thing through."

1821
01:29:23.189 --> 01:29:25.824
And we said, "we'll figure out
a way to make this thing work,

1822
01:29:25.858 --> 01:29:28.061
you know, so it's good for you."

1823
01:29:33.466 --> 01:29:36.369
<i>Okay. Here we go.</i>

1824
01:29:36.403 --> 01:29:38.104
<i>"Hong Kong.</i>

1825
01:29:38.138 --> 01:29:39.872
<i>To fall in love with Asia..."</i>

1826
01:29:39.905 --> 01:29:41.941
<i>Oof, Asia.</i>

1827
01:29:41.975 --> 01:29:44.978
<i>"To fall in love with Asia
is one thing.</i>

1828
01:29:45.011 --> 01:29:47.514
<i>"To fall in love in Asia
is another.</i>

1829
01:29:47.547 --> 01:29:49.182
<i>"Both have happened to me.</i>

1830
01:29:49.215 --> 01:29:52.885
<i>"It's a gift, a dream, a curse,</i>

1831
01:29:52.918 --> 01:29:55.155
<i>"the best thing,
the happiest thing,</i>

1832
01:29:55.188 --> 01:29:58.258
<i>"yet also the loneliest thing
in the world.</i>

1833
01:29:58.291 --> 01:30:00.859
<i>"I've been to Hong Kong
many times before,</i>

1834
01:30:00.893 --> 01:30:03.063
<i>but not like this."</i>

1835
01:30:03.963 --> 01:30:06.933
If I die before
I'm 40 years old,

1836
01:30:06.966 --> 01:30:08.644
that shoot probably had
something to do with it.

1837
01:30:08.668 --> 01:30:10.937
<i>At the last second,</i>

1838
01:30:10.970 --> 01:30:12.605
<i>the director gets sick.</i>

1839
01:30:12.639 --> 01:30:14.107
I had my gallbladder removed.

1840
01:30:14.140 --> 01:30:15.484
Michael's gallbladder,
I swear to god.

1841
01:30:15.508 --> 01:30:18.478
So, obviously I can't go,
and then Tony immediately,

1842
01:30:18.511 --> 01:30:20.613
<i>like, sees an in.</i>

1843
01:30:20.647 --> 01:30:24.951
<i>He gets them to all agree
that Asia should direct this.</i>

1844
01:30:25.518 --> 01:30:27.554
W-Well, like, okay.

1845
01:30:27.587 --> 01:30:30.190
In-in man... in some ways,
on this side,

1846
01:30:30.223 --> 01:30:34.961
this is giving him some kind
of, like, intense resurgence

1847
01:30:34.994 --> 01:30:37.464
of, like, creative energy.

1848
01:30:37.497 --> 01:30:40.100
And so we-we ran with that.

1849
01:30:40.133 --> 01:30:41.468
- Asia?
- I think...

1850
01:30:41.501 --> 01:30:43.036
Back in one sec.

1851
01:30:43.069 --> 01:30:44.604
We're getting too much
good stuff...

1852
01:30:44.637 --> 01:30:45.972
I know, but...

1853
01:30:46.005 --> 01:30:47.283
in too short a period of time.

1854
01:30:47.307 --> 01:30:49.008
Let's mo... let's move
and-and move. Yeah.

1855
01:30:49.042 --> 01:30:50.119
And w-we're getting too much.

1856
01:30:50.143 --> 01:30:51.511
It's like, I mean,

1857
01:30:51.544 --> 01:30:53.155
at this point, it's like,
to everybody, I'm thinking,

1858
01:30:53.179 --> 01:30:54.457
"stop saying
so much great stuff."

1859
01:30:54.481 --> 01:30:55.648
- Oh, my god.
- So happy.

1860
01:30:55.682 --> 01:30:57.384
Food's ready.

1861
01:30:57.417 --> 01:30:58.985
Asia, the food's ready.

1862
01:31:00.653 --> 01:31:03.189
<i>It seemed like
so many years of us</i>

1863
01:31:03.223 --> 01:31:07.427
<i>shaping and creating this thing,
all of a sudden,</i>

1864
01:31:07.460 --> 01:31:09.062
<i>was thrown out the window,</i>

1865
01:31:09.095 --> 01:31:12.465
and it was just, you know,
anything goes.

1866
01:31:12.499 --> 01:31:14.434
So what is your...

1867
01:31:15.635 --> 01:31:17.270
what is your hope?

1868
01:31:17.303 --> 01:31:20.140
What do you hope will happen
to change your situation?

1869
01:31:20.173 --> 01:31:23.309
To-to be honest, um,
I'm not big fan of hope.

1870
01:31:23.343 --> 01:31:25.412
Um, hope is...

1871
01:31:25.445 --> 01:31:26.646
Hold on one second.

1872
01:31:26.679 --> 01:31:28.448
Let me reset.

1873
01:31:28.481 --> 01:31:30.417
<i>In the middle
of this heartfelt scene</i>

1874
01:31:30.450 --> 01:31:33.019
<i>with these two asylum seekers,
we're stopping...</i>

1875
01:31:33.052 --> 01:31:35.021
I hold my hand
or h-hold the thought?

1876
01:31:35.054 --> 01:31:36.589
<i>And telling them to hold</i>

1877
01:31:36.623 --> 01:31:38.224
their thought
and to, like, redo it,

1878
01:31:38.258 --> 01:31:39.568
<i>as if we're filming
a movie or something.</i>

1879
01:31:39.592 --> 01:31:41.728
- Uh, add one.
- Three.

1880
01:31:41.761 --> 01:31:44.531
35 milli... uh, centimeters.

1881
01:31:49.369 --> 01:31:52.038
<i>You know, breaking the natural,</i>

1882
01:31:52.071 --> 01:31:53.440
<i>heartfelt conversations</i>

1883
01:31:53.473 --> 01:31:56.109
<i>that are not
easy conversations to have,</i>

1884
01:31:56.142 --> 01:31:59.345
he would have
never, ever done that.

1885
01:32:01.147 --> 01:32:03.082
Let's go. Ready to go.

1886
01:32:03.116 --> 01:32:04.451
I'm sorry, do it again.

1887
01:32:07.520 --> 01:32:09.189
Asia?

1888
01:32:12.392 --> 01:32:14.994
<i>What happened in Hong Kong</i>

1889
01:32:15.028 --> 01:32:16.729
<i>was... listen.</i>

1890
01:32:19.799 --> 01:32:23.703
We-we were trying
to help our friend.

1891
01:32:23.736 --> 01:32:26.606
And if that meant...

1892
01:32:26.639 --> 01:32:28.741
Um...

1893
01:32:28.775 --> 01:32:31.177
Doing... yeah.

1894
01:32:37.684 --> 01:32:39.486
<i>Of everything I've done</i>

1895
01:32:39.519 --> 01:32:42.789
<i>in my life, this was probably
the professional highlight.</i>

1896
01:32:42.822 --> 01:32:45.425
<i>Between, uh, Asia argento
as the director</i>

1897
01:32:45.458 --> 01:32:48.094
<i>and Christopher Doyle as
the director of photography...</i>

1898
01:32:48.127 --> 01:32:50.497
- You're gonna give me a camera?
- Hell yeah.

1899
01:32:50.530 --> 01:32:53.132
<i>We really did something special.</i>

1900
01:32:54.400 --> 01:32:57.403
All right,
proceed to smoke weed.

1901
01:33:02.609 --> 01:33:04.544
I think I'm happy.

1902
01:33:08.114 --> 01:33:10.783
Why? It's so peaceful?

1903
01:33:10.817 --> 01:33:12.652
Yeah.

1904
01:33:13.553 --> 01:33:16.089
This is the best shot
in the movie, by the way.

1905
01:33:16.122 --> 01:33:18.525
Wow, this is fucking beautiful.

1906
01:33:18.558 --> 01:33:20.293
Wait.

1907
01:33:20.326 --> 01:33:22.262
I don't smile a lot
on this show, by the way,

1908
01:33:22.295 --> 01:33:25.031
but I'm smiling now.

1909
01:33:26.132 --> 01:33:28.134
I want to shoot you guys.

1910
01:33:28.167 --> 01:33:32.038
So, tell us about your team.

1911
01:33:32.705 --> 01:33:35.508
Zach, 12-year veteran.

1912
01:33:38.244 --> 01:33:40.346
<i>Zach had made</i> parts unknown

1913
01:33:40.380 --> 01:33:42.582
one of the most beautiful shows
on television.

1914
01:33:45.685 --> 01:33:47.787
<i>Tony's admiration for Zach</i>

1915
01:33:47.820 --> 01:33:50.523
<i>was just kind of mind-blowing.</i>

1916
01:33:50.557 --> 01:33:52.225
<i>In Hong Kong,</i>

1917
01:33:52.258 --> 01:33:55.595
<i>Zach had
a differing opinion from Asia</i>

1918
01:33:55.628 --> 01:33:57.196
<i>on what they were shooting.</i>

1919
01:33:57.230 --> 01:33:59.699
And despite having
a huge history

1920
01:33:59.732 --> 01:34:02.468
and love and friendship,
he was gone.

1921
01:34:03.336 --> 01:34:05.572
<i>When Tony fired Zach,</i>

1922
01:34:05.605 --> 01:34:08.841
<i>it was a huge red flag,
because it was like,</i>

1923
01:34:08.875 --> 01:34:11.411
<i>if he's gonna do that
to someone like him,</i>

1924
01:34:11.444 --> 01:34:15.715
I mean, anyone
on the inner circle is

1925
01:34:15.748 --> 01:34:19.152
essentially,
you know, disposable.

1926
01:34:36.502 --> 01:34:38.705
Cheers.

1927
01:34:41.608 --> 01:34:44.410
<i>There was
a very sort of manic nature</i>

1928
01:34:44.444 --> 01:34:46.913
<i>to what was going on
in that last year,</i>

1929
01:34:46.947 --> 01:34:50.216
where the highs
were very, very high.

1930
01:34:50.249 --> 01:34:55.089
And the lows were very ugly.

1931
01:35:00.793 --> 01:35:03.896
<i>He was not the same person.</i>

1932
01:35:03.930 --> 01:35:08.434
<i>Something changed
and became really heavy.</i>

1933
01:35:08.468 --> 01:35:12.905
<i>But he started going to therapy
at a certain point,</i>

1934
01:35:12.940 --> 01:35:15.174
<i>and I thought,</i>

1935
01:35:15.208 --> 01:35:16.409
"I can take a step back.

1936
01:35:16.442 --> 01:35:18.344
"I don't have to be,
like, you know,

1937
01:35:18.378 --> 01:35:20.647
always so, uh, worried
about him."

1938
01:35:20.680 --> 01:35:22.415
And, uh...

1939
01:35:26.486 --> 01:35:29.222
And I feel like that's
something that I will always,

1940
01:35:29.255 --> 01:35:31.724
you know, felt like...

1941
01:35:32.825 --> 01:35:36.796
I should have kept an eye
on him more, you know?

1942
01:36:01.587 --> 01:36:05.324
<i>He came by less and less.</i>

1943
01:36:05.358 --> 01:36:08.795
<i>And we would see him
once a month, if we were lucky.</i>

1944
01:36:11.330 --> 01:36:13.499
<i>You know,
he said some shit to me</i>

1945
01:36:13.533 --> 01:36:15.702
<i>that was really...
Fucking pissed me off.</i>

1946
01:36:15.735 --> 01:36:17.603
<i>Um...</i>

1947
01:36:18.604 --> 01:36:19.639
You know, fuck it.

1948
01:36:19.672 --> 01:36:23.476
You know, Tony said
I would never be a good dad.

1949
01:36:30.717 --> 01:36:32.618
That fucking hurt.

1950
01:36:36.957 --> 01:36:41.594
And I know he wasn't
trying to be mean, but...

1951
01:36:44.031 --> 01:36:45.966
- Was he projecting?
- Yeah.

1952
01:36:45.999 --> 01:36:48.735
Of course he was projecting.

1953
01:36:48.768 --> 01:36:53.406
He did everything
he could to be the... a dad.

1954
01:36:55.641 --> 01:36:58.011
I think it broke his heart
that he couldn't be

1955
01:36:58.045 --> 01:36:59.579
the fucking dad
he thought he could be,

1956
01:36:59.612 --> 01:37:02.448
the romantic version of a dad.

1957
01:37:04.517 --> 01:37:06.619
<i>He was such a romantic
about life,</i>

1958
01:37:06.652 --> 01:37:11.290
<i>about anything, about families,
about life as a whole.</i>

1959
01:37:12.525 --> 01:37:16.329
<i>Life was a romantic idea,
and reality was never gonna</i>

1960
01:37:16.362 --> 01:37:18.865
<i>live up to exactly
how he pictured it.</i>

1961
01:37:21.334 --> 01:37:22.502
He was always gonna sort of

1962
01:37:22.535 --> 01:37:23.855
set himself up
for disappointment.

1963
01:37:33.679 --> 01:37:35.448
Wow.

1964
01:37:35.481 --> 01:37:37.050
There's a sense of, um,

1965
01:37:37.084 --> 01:37:41.354
vastness that I'm not used to.

1966
01:37:41.387 --> 01:37:43.790
Does this remind you
of your cowboy movies?

1967
01:37:43.823 --> 01:37:46.359
- Uh, a little bit.
- Yeah.

1968
01:37:46.392 --> 01:37:47.669
Yes, the lone gunman
out for vengeance

1969
01:37:47.693 --> 01:37:49.963
would be riding
in a long shot over there.

1970
01:37:51.597 --> 01:37:53.066
<i>At that point, I think</i>

1971
01:37:53.100 --> 01:37:56.569
<i>he thought his relationship
with Asia</i>

1972
01:37:56.602 --> 01:37:58.771
<i>could provide him
with an answer.</i>

1973
01:37:58.805 --> 01:38:01.407
- But anyway...
- You're right, you're right.

1974
01:38:01.440 --> 01:38:02.943
<i>You know? His love for her</i>

1975
01:38:02.976 --> 01:38:06.079
<i>was completely pure and safe</i>

1976
01:38:06.113 --> 01:38:08.748
<i>and helpful and supportive.</i>

1977
01:38:08.781 --> 01:38:12.318
Which is essentially what
he was looking for from her.

1978
01:38:13.452 --> 01:38:16.856
<i>And I think
that Tony concluded that</i>

1979
01:38:16.889 --> 01:38:19.692
<i>the way to earn her trust</i>

1980
01:38:19.725 --> 01:38:23.830
<i>was just to go in
with his whole heart.</i>

1981
01:38:23.863 --> 01:38:25.832
Please welcome Anthony bourdain!

1982
01:38:30.870 --> 01:38:33.974
<i>One of the more painful and-and.</i>

1983
01:38:34.007 --> 01:38:35.976
I-I would think
interesting journeys

1984
01:38:36.009 --> 01:38:38.411
you've taken on your life
happened just very recently

1985
01:38:38.444 --> 01:38:39.879
with regards to
the me too movement.

1986
01:38:39.912 --> 01:38:42.715
I started speaking about it
out of a sense of real rage.

1987
01:38:42.748 --> 01:38:46.652
I mean, I'd like to say
that I'm... I-I arrived at...

1988
01:38:46.686 --> 01:38:49.056
I was always enlightened
in some way

1989
01:38:49.089 --> 01:38:52.025
or that I am an activist
or virtuous.

1990
01:38:52.059 --> 01:38:54.995
But, in fact, uh, you know,
I have to be honest with myself.

1991
01:38:55.028 --> 01:38:57.630
<i>I met one extraordinary woman</i>

1992
01:38:57.663 --> 01:39:00.867
<i>with an extraordinary
and painful story.</i>

1993
01:39:00.900 --> 01:39:02.169
Uh, suddenly it was personal.

1994
01:39:02.202 --> 01:39:03.836
I think it surprised
a lot of people.

1995
01:39:03.870 --> 01:39:06.173
He had never really
wanted to stick himself

1996
01:39:06.206 --> 01:39:09.508
<i>out there for a cause.</i>

1997
01:39:09.542 --> 01:39:12.478
<i>But Tony was like,
"I'm going to make a stand."</i>

1998
01:39:14.914 --> 01:39:17.017
<i>A nuclear bomb is gonna fall</i>

1999
01:39:17.050 --> 01:39:18.818
<i>on one of my worst enemies.</i>

2000
01:39:18.851 --> 01:39:21.654
<i>Everybody's been defending him,</i>

2001
01:39:21.687 --> 01:39:23.756
but now he's going fucking down.

2002
01:39:23.789 --> 01:39:26.626
He's going down
big-fucking-time.

2003
01:39:27.727 --> 01:39:32.765
In 1997, I was raped
by Harvey weinstein

2004
01:39:32.798 --> 01:39:34.567
here at cannes.

2005
01:39:34.600 --> 01:39:37.904
And even tonight,
sitting among you,

2006
01:39:37.938 --> 01:39:41.674
there are those who still
have to be held accountable

2007
01:39:41.707 --> 01:39:44.577
for their conduct against women.

2008
01:39:45.778 --> 01:39:48.181
<i>Argento later posting this photo</i>

2009
01:39:48.215 --> 01:39:49.691
<i>on Instagram
with her fist in the air,</i>

2010
01:39:49.715 --> 01:39:51.550
<i>the caption in French
translated,</i>

2011
01:39:51.584 --> 01:39:53.653
<i>"the battle of women continues."</i>

2012
01:39:57.790 --> 01:39:59.926
<i>Asia had just come from cannes.</i>

2013
01:39:59.960 --> 01:40:02.795
<i>And then we're in
the uffizi gallery</i>

2014
01:40:02.828 --> 01:40:04.797
<i>looking at
the beheading of holofernes,</i>

2015
01:40:04.830 --> 01:40:06.565
<i>which is literally</i>

2016
01:40:06.599 --> 01:40:08.201
the beheading of her rapist,

2017
01:40:08.235 --> 01:40:12.105
<i>and it's happening the day
that weinstein gets arrested.</i>

2018
01:40:12.139 --> 01:40:13.873
<i>Weinstein has repeatedly</i>

2019
01:40:13.906 --> 01:40:15.875
<i>denied all allegations.</i>

2020
01:40:18.211 --> 01:40:19.779
It was extraordinary.

2021
01:40:41.801 --> 01:40:47.007
Everybody takes medusa
as the symbol of the evil woman

2022
01:40:47.040 --> 01:40:49.977
with snakes in her head,
but, uh,

2023
01:40:50.010 --> 01:40:52.545
she was, uh, a rape victim.

2024
01:40:52.578 --> 01:40:54.948
And she had to protect herself.

2025
01:40:54.982 --> 01:40:57.985
You know, powerful,
inconvenient women who

2026
01:40:58.018 --> 01:41:02.222
piss people off are inevitably
caricatured as medusa.

2027
01:41:02.255 --> 01:41:03.991
Yeah.

2028
01:41:04.024 --> 01:41:05.591
I'm-I'm next.

2029
01:41:05.624 --> 01:41:06.859
I wasn't gonna say it.

2030
01:41:06.892 --> 01:41:09.862
- It's only a matter of time.
- Hmm.

2031
01:41:10.830 --> 01:41:12.631
It's incredible.

2032
01:41:12.665 --> 01:41:14.234
<i>Me too!</i>

2033
01:41:14.267 --> 01:41:15.969
<i>Our stories are true!</i>

2034
01:41:16.003 --> 01:41:17.204
<i>We say me too!</i>

2035
01:41:17.237 --> 01:41:19.006
<i>I mean, at first it was, like,</i>

2036
01:41:19.039 --> 01:41:20.606
<i>very noble of him, you know?</i>

2037
01:41:20.639 --> 01:41:22.742
<i>And it was a good cause.</i>

2038
01:41:22.775 --> 01:41:24.710
<i>But then he became...</i>

2039
01:41:24.744 --> 01:41:26.679
Yeah, he became
obsessed with it.

2040
01:41:26.712 --> 01:41:29.648
You're talking about it in
a way that many people wouldn't.

2041
01:41:29.682 --> 01:41:31.684
<i>To the point where</i>

2042
01:41:31.717 --> 01:41:33.619
<i>if a friend said something</i>

2043
01:41:33.652 --> 01:41:37.290
five years ago
that would maybe...

2044
01:41:37.324 --> 01:41:39.625
Might be offensive
to the me too cause,

2045
01:41:39.658 --> 01:41:43.163
he would just, like,
cut them out of his life.

2046
01:41:43.196 --> 01:41:45.798
I'm pretty much
ming the merciless

2047
01:41:45.831 --> 01:41:47.600
- on this issue right now.
- Right.

2048
01:41:47.633 --> 01:41:49.635
<i>Friends and creative partners...</i>

2049
01:41:49.668 --> 01:41:51.637
<i>He threw them
under the bus without</i>

2050
01:41:51.670 --> 01:41:54.740
<i>any sort of consultation
or anything.</i>

2051
01:41:54.774 --> 01:41:56.309
I mean, there was
not much nuance

2052
01:41:56.343 --> 01:41:58.711
when it got to that point
of his life.

2053
01:42:00.679 --> 01:42:02.983
<i>What I saw was him turn</i>

2054
01:42:03.016 --> 01:42:06.186
<i>what was a lifelong
addictive personality</i>

2055
01:42:06.219 --> 01:42:07.686
to another person.

2056
01:42:07.720 --> 01:42:11.058
<i>And that was
extremely dangerous.</i>

2057
01:42:15.928 --> 01:42:18.731
<i>He was acting like a kid
who didn't understand</i>

2058
01:42:18.764 --> 01:42:20.800
<i>that you're gonna
drive someone away</i>

2059
01:42:20.833 --> 01:42:22.936
if you just pile on
and pile on and pile on.

2060
01:42:22.969 --> 01:42:24.713
- Yes. But-but what I...
- Really, the top ten

2061
01:42:24.737 --> 01:42:27.941
hottest things you've ever done
is park in Rome.

2062
01:42:27.974 --> 01:42:32.345
What, like... she was like,
"you could park here now,

2063
01:42:32.379 --> 01:42:34.123
- "but in an hour you can't park here."
- Yeah.

2064
01:42:34.147 --> 01:42:35.714
"We can get away with this now."

2065
01:42:35.748 --> 01:42:37.393
I thought, "this is
the fucking coolest thing."

2066
01:42:37.417 --> 01:42:39.618
<i>He won't stop
fucking talking about</i>

2067
01:42:39.652 --> 01:42:41.787
<i>her ability to park.</i>

2068
01:42:41.821 --> 01:42:43.232
It's like,
"you're such a good Parker.

2069
01:42:43.256 --> 01:42:44.333
"Y-You park so well.
You park so well.

2070
01:42:44.357 --> 01:42:45.925
You parallel park so well."

2071
01:42:45.959 --> 01:42:47.403
And she's like,
"dude, I don't want to be known

2072
01:42:47.427 --> 01:42:48.928
for my parking skills."

2073
01:42:48.962 --> 01:42:51.331
<i>Like, you can see her
pulling back,</i>

2074
01:42:51.364 --> 01:42:53.300
<i>and he just won't stop.</i>

2075
01:42:58.138 --> 01:42:59.839
We're having so much fun.

2076
01:43:00.873 --> 01:43:01.841
Done.

2077
01:43:01.874 --> 01:43:03.376
And it was genius, bro.

2078
01:43:03.410 --> 01:43:05.845
I'm telling you,
see you at the oscars, yo.

2079
01:43:05.878 --> 01:43:07.981
<i>Saying goodbye to him</i>

2080
01:43:08.014 --> 01:43:11.851
is the happiest I felt like
I had ever seen him.

2081
01:43:11.884 --> 01:43:13.253
Huge hugs.

2082
01:43:13.286 --> 01:43:14.753
He was like, "I love you."

2083
01:43:14.787 --> 01:43:16.822
"I love working with you.
We got years ahead of us.

2084
01:43:16.856 --> 01:43:19.226
I'm looking forward to it."

2085
01:43:31.737 --> 01:43:33.440
<i>You don't want his legacy</i>

2086
01:43:33.473 --> 01:43:36.675
<i>to come off as, like,
somebody who...</i>

2087
01:43:36.709 --> 01:43:40.213
Succumbed to, like, this...

2088
01:43:43.416 --> 01:43:45.684
darkness.

2089
01:43:47.187 --> 01:43:48.888
That wasn't him.

2090
01:43:48.921 --> 01:43:52.058
Like, he created something
that was so important.

2091
01:43:52.092 --> 01:43:55.962
And I want... that really
needs to be, like...

2092
01:43:56.963 --> 01:44:00.000
That is the legacy of his life.

2093
01:44:00.033 --> 01:44:05.138
Not this stupid bullshit act
that he did at the end.

2094
01:44:09.476 --> 01:44:12.811
How do we come to terms with...

2095
01:44:14.114 --> 01:44:15.048
what happened?

2096
01:44:15.081 --> 01:44:18.251
Hmm. That's something
I don't speak about.

2097
01:44:24.991 --> 01:44:27.194
<i>What happened in France.</i>

2098
01:44:27.227 --> 01:44:29.262
<i>Um, where to start?</i>

2099
01:44:29.296 --> 01:44:33.400
<i>The kind of scenes that we had
and what kind of shoot it was...</i>

2100
01:44:33.433 --> 01:44:35.834
<i>You know, it was, like,
Tony and Eric.</i>

2101
01:44:35.868 --> 01:44:37.304
Lighthearted, funny.

2102
01:44:37.337 --> 01:44:38.972
Um...

2103
01:44:39.005 --> 01:44:41.274
Wow. Wow.

2104
01:44:41.308 --> 01:44:44.044
- Listen, man. Listen.
- And you mocked me.

2105
01:44:44.077 --> 01:44:46.346
<i>We're probably
like four days in.</i>

2106
01:44:46.379 --> 01:44:50.083
<i>Tony arrives, and he is just...</i>

2107
01:44:50.116 --> 01:44:52.851
Palpably sort of like
just angry.

2108
01:44:53.486 --> 01:44:55.121
And...

2109
01:44:55.155 --> 01:44:58.091
The scene sort of...
It takes a dark turn.

2110
01:44:58.124 --> 01:45:00.293
<i>Uh, they're talking about dying,</i>

2111
01:45:00.327 --> 01:45:02.996
<i>choking on a hot dog
or something like that.</i>

2112
01:45:03.029 --> 01:45:06.266
<i>He kind of looks back at me,</i>

2113
01:45:06.299 --> 01:45:08.068
<i>and we kind of make eye contact.</i>

2114
01:45:08.101 --> 01:45:12.239
In-in my memory now,
it's very desperate.

2115
01:45:17.310 --> 01:45:18.877
<i>I called Helen,</i>

2116
01:45:18.911 --> 01:45:20.380
and this tabloid shit's come out

2117
01:45:20.413 --> 01:45:23.749
<i>about Asia
and this other person.</i>

2118
01:45:26.486 --> 01:45:28.854
<i>Tony goes over
to this balcony again,</i>

2119
01:45:28.887 --> 01:45:30.856
<i>looking over this valley,
and he's, like, smoking,</i>

2120
01:45:30.889 --> 01:45:33.426
<i>and he's kind of alone.</i>

2121
01:45:33.460 --> 01:45:36.296
<i>I go out there, and I'm like,</i>

2122
01:45:36.329 --> 01:45:38.465
<i>"hey, man, how are you doing?</i>

2123
01:45:38.498 --> 01:45:40.543
"You know, is this just, like...
Are these just tabloid people,

2124
01:45:40.567 --> 01:45:42.002
"like, fucking with you guys?

2125
01:45:42.035 --> 01:45:43.079
Like how, you know...
What's happening?"

2126
01:45:43.103 --> 01:45:44.223
And then, like, he pauses...

2127
01:45:46.006 --> 01:45:50.210
and he just says,
"a little fucking discretion."

2128
01:45:50.243 --> 01:45:53.413
Right? And I was like,
"hey, man, I'm just..."

2129
01:45:53.446 --> 01:45:55.881
He's like, "no, man, not you."

2130
01:45:55.914 --> 01:45:57.916
It's like, "I don't want
to have to fucking deal

2131
01:45:57.951 --> 01:45:59.452
with this... these fucking..."

2132
01:45:59.486 --> 01:46:02.355
You know,
he's talking about Asia.

2133
01:46:05.125 --> 01:46:07.093
<i>He didn't even look at me.</i>

2134
01:46:07.127 --> 01:46:09.462
<i>You know, he's just kind of,
like, just, you know, smoking</i>

2135
01:46:09.496 --> 01:46:13.033
<i>and just sort of looking out
and just like, "fuck."</i>

2136
01:46:13.933 --> 01:46:18.338
<i>I wish I had said more
to him in that moment.</i>

2137
01:46:19.939 --> 01:46:22.175
<i>You know,
Tony hasn't been all right</i>

2138
01:46:22.208 --> 01:46:23.909
<i>for a long time.</i>

2139
01:46:23.943 --> 01:46:28.014
The amount that he joked about
the end of his life and...

2140
01:46:28.048 --> 01:46:30.016
He's been chasing
that shit forever.

2141
01:46:30.050 --> 01:46:32.185
Potato chips are stale.

2142
01:46:32.218 --> 01:46:36.189
So depressed right now,
I feel like killing myself.

2143
01:46:36.222 --> 01:46:37.856
<i>He's a fucking runner.</i>

2144
01:46:37.890 --> 01:46:39.326
<i>I mean, he ran for a long time,</i>

2145
01:46:39.359 --> 01:46:43.530
<i>but you're not gonna
outsmart pain.</i>

2146
01:46:43.563 --> 01:46:44.964
I'm pretty sure that pole

2147
01:46:44.998 --> 01:46:46.499
will support my body weight.

2148
01:46:46.533 --> 01:46:50.203
- What?
- If I fucking hang myself.

2149
01:46:52.605 --> 01:46:54.307
<i>I think it pops into</i>

2150
01:46:54.341 --> 01:46:56.875
<i>a lot of people's heads,
and it's just like,</i>

2151
01:46:56.909 --> 01:46:59.878
since he knew how to do it...

2152
01:46:59.912 --> 01:47:01.614
I mean, I don't know.

2153
01:47:01.648 --> 01:47:03.950
He's a storyteller
for one thing.

2154
01:47:03.983 --> 01:47:07.287
How does a storyteller check out
without leaving a note?

2155
01:47:08.921 --> 01:47:10.957
<i>But I think, in some regard,</i>

2156
01:47:10.990 --> 01:47:15.061
<i>he was gonna write his end,
which is what he did.</i>

2157
01:47:15.095 --> 01:47:17.230
<i>If you look at
his last Instagram story,</i>

2158
01:47:17.263 --> 01:47:21.634
<i>he played the title sequence
music from this '70s film</i>

2159
01:47:21.668 --> 01:47:23.636
violent city.

2160
01:47:23.670 --> 01:47:24.971
And if you've seen the film,

2161
01:47:25.004 --> 01:47:26.373
<i>you know that the beginning is</i>

2162
01:47:26.406 --> 01:47:30.944
<i>a series of paparazzi photos
of this couple.</i>

2163
01:47:30.977 --> 01:47:32.645
<i>I mean, it's a revenge film.</i>

2164
01:47:32.679 --> 01:47:36.649
<i>It's about this woman
who betrays him</i>

2165
01:47:36.683 --> 01:47:38.485
and him seeking revenge.

2166
01:47:53.967 --> 01:47:57.003
I mean, it's-it's all there.

2167
01:47:59.439 --> 01:48:01.141
<i>I'm very cautious</i>

2168
01:48:01.174 --> 01:48:03.219
to be like, uh, blame the woman
for, like, you know...

2169
01:48:03.243 --> 01:48:05.678
Or blame the lover
or blame the husband.

2170
01:48:05.712 --> 01:48:09.182
You know, Tony killed himself.

2171
01:48:09.215 --> 01:48:11.184
Tony did it.

2172
01:48:17.290 --> 01:48:19.259
<i>My brother committed suicide.</i>

2173
01:48:19.292 --> 01:48:21.294
<i>I think if somebody else
had been in his room,</i>

2174
01:48:21.327 --> 01:48:23.129
<i>it might've been a murder
and not a suicide.</i>

2175
01:48:23.163 --> 01:48:24.998
<i>I think he was just
in an explosive anger</i>

2176
01:48:25.031 --> 01:48:27.367
<i>and-and this was
the only way out.</i>

2177
01:48:29.102 --> 01:48:32.405
<i>When you choose
to hang yourself,</i>

2178
01:48:32.439 --> 01:48:33.673
<i>it's a torture.</i>

2179
01:48:33.706 --> 01:48:37.143
<i>Self-imposed torture.</i>

2180
01:48:38.711 --> 01:48:40.346
<i>If he was fucking drunk,</i>

2181
01:48:40.380 --> 01:48:42.248
<i>it'd be a lot easier
to understand.</i>

2182
01:48:42.282 --> 01:48:47.187
<i>The toxicology report was
he's clean and sober.</i>

2183
01:48:47.220 --> 01:48:50.056
<i>I think it was a clear decision.</i>

2184
01:48:52.091 --> 01:48:53.593
<i>It was a momentary lapse,</i>

2185
01:48:53.626 --> 01:48:56.396
<i>and I don't think
he weighed the pros and cons.</i>

2186
01:48:58.097 --> 01:49:01.067
<i>If he had just made it through
that night, you know?</i>

2187
01:49:03.203 --> 01:49:05.205
<i>We're trying
so hard to understand,</i>

2188
01:49:05.238 --> 01:49:07.207
<i>because we think
if we can understand it,</i>

2189
01:49:07.240 --> 01:49:08.741
<i>then we'll be okay with it.</i>

2190
01:49:08.775 --> 01:49:11.711
<i>And the fact
of the matter is, no,</i>

2191
01:49:11.744 --> 01:49:13.713
I don't think we get to know.

2192
01:49:13.746 --> 01:49:15.615
We don't get to know.

2193
01:49:15.648 --> 01:49:17.584
<i>That's tough.</i>

2194
01:49:24.424 --> 01:49:26.626
<i>Well, I don't know where he is</i>

2195
01:49:26.659 --> 01:49:28.595
right now, but...

2196
01:49:28.628 --> 01:49:30.463
He let me down.

2197
01:49:30.497 --> 01:49:32.465
He...

2198
01:49:36.169 --> 01:49:38.404
<i>I don't think
he was cruel, you know?</i>

2199
01:49:38.438 --> 01:49:41.341
<i>And there's, like,
a cruelty to that.</i>

2200
01:49:44.110 --> 01:49:46.813
What the hell is everyone
supposed to do?

2201
01:50:15.475 --> 01:50:18.111
<i>It's been over two years</i>

2202
01:50:18.144 --> 01:50:20.547
<i>since he took his own life,</i>

2203
01:50:20.580 --> 01:50:23.683
<i>and I still experience
a range of emotions.</i>

2204
01:50:23.716 --> 01:50:25.552
Um...

2205
01:50:28.755 --> 01:50:30.557
God.

2206
01:50:37.497 --> 01:50:39.098
It's like...

2207
01:50:39.132 --> 01:50:40.809
I haven't fucking cut my hair
since he died.

2208
01:50:40.833 --> 01:50:44.437
Like, i-i...

2209
01:50:44.470 --> 01:50:46.272
I just miss him.

2210
01:50:47.206 --> 01:50:50.710
<i>I miss a friend, a dear friend.</i>

2211
01:50:50.743 --> 01:50:57.083
<i>I think about a lot of
happy moments we had together.</i>

2212
01:51:00.620 --> 01:51:02.855
Mostly, yeah.

2213
01:51:06.326 --> 01:51:10.430
<i>I was in Vietnam
on a beautiful day.</i>

2214
01:51:10.463 --> 01:51:14.734
<i>I looked at my phone,
and there was the news.</i>

2215
01:51:14.767 --> 01:51:18.471
And, uh, that's when I decided
to move to Vietnam for good.

2216
01:51:19.439 --> 01:51:22.308
That was the...
It was not even a thought.

2217
01:51:22.342 --> 01:51:26.346
<i>It was the door opened
and I had to go through it</i>

2218
01:51:26.379 --> 01:51:30.650
<i>and start doing something new.</i>

2219
01:51:32.251 --> 01:51:34.520
<i>I was listening to this record</i>

2220
01:51:34.554 --> 01:51:36.723
<i>that brought me to tears
thinking of him.</i>

2221
01:51:36.756 --> 01:51:39.525
And, um, both my kids

2222
01:51:39.559 --> 01:51:41.894
<i>sort of embraced me.</i>

2223
01:51:41.928 --> 01:51:45.131
<i>My son, he's like,
"how did Tony die?"</i>

2224
01:51:47.266 --> 01:51:49.636
And I was like,
"uh, I... we don't know."

2225
01:51:49.669 --> 01:51:51.671
Right?

2226
01:51:51.704 --> 01:51:55.408
About 20 seconds pass, and
he looked at me and he's like,

2227
01:51:55.441 --> 01:51:57.477
"I really would like to know
how Tony died."

2228
01:51:57.510 --> 01:52:01.648
I have this like hour-long
conversation about

2229
01:52:01.681 --> 01:52:04.217
Tony to my fucking
seven-year-old kid.

2230
01:52:04.250 --> 01:52:08.287
<i>And I said,
"I think Tony, at the end,</i>

2231
01:52:08.321 --> 01:52:13.192
<i>"felt alone and felt
he couldn't talk to anybody</i>

2232
01:52:13.226 --> 01:52:16.396
<i>about the pain that was
going on inside of him."</i>

2233
01:52:16.429 --> 01:52:20.700
<i>And I said, "you know
you always have someone</i>

2234
01:52:20.733 --> 01:52:23.803
<i>to turn to and talk to."</i>

2235
01:52:23.836 --> 01:52:26.406
<i>That's the lesson in it for me.</i>

2236
01:52:30.476 --> 01:52:33.279
<i>It's plenty
to just say I'm hurt.</i>

2237
01:52:33.981 --> 01:52:36.582
<i>I haven't worked
for two years now.</i>

2238
01:52:36.616 --> 01:52:41.521
<i>Really close to the end,
we talked, and I said,</i>

2239
01:52:41.554 --> 01:52:44.290
"got to take our girls
and lighten the load

2240
01:52:44.323 --> 01:52:46.559
"and show them the world,
show them who we are,

2241
01:52:46.592 --> 01:52:48.394
not just when
you come home, but..."

2242
01:52:48.428 --> 01:52:51.597
And-and we were both excited
about this prospect.

2243
01:52:57.938 --> 01:52:59.706
Fuck.

2244
01:52:59.739 --> 01:53:01.774
One, two, three.

2245
01:53:04.477 --> 01:53:06.446
<i>When I get angry
is when I think about</i>

2246
01:53:06.479 --> 01:53:10.650
leaving behind a brilliant...

2247
01:53:10.683 --> 01:53:12.819
Daughter.

2248
01:53:14.487 --> 01:53:15.822
You know.

2249
01:53:17.356 --> 01:53:20.961
He would have loved to be
around now, to see her now.

2250
01:53:20.994 --> 01:53:22.729
He'd be so proud of her.

2251
01:53:29.970 --> 01:53:31.871
<i>I'm so lucky</i>

2252
01:53:31.904 --> 01:53:36.609
<i>'cause she's the best daughter
I-I could hope for.</i>

2253
01:53:36.642 --> 01:53:39.980
And I will always be grateful
that, you know,

2254
01:53:40.013 --> 01:53:42.782
Tony gave her to me, you know?

2255
01:53:47.520 --> 01:53:49.555
<i>I mean, I think this is</i>

2256
01:53:49.589 --> 01:53:52.492
the last time I'll ever
talk publicly about it,

2257
01:53:52.525 --> 01:53:55.996
because I... that's not the way
I want to remember him.

2258
01:53:56.029 --> 01:53:57.830
<i>I want to remember him</i>

2259
01:53:57.864 --> 01:54:01.501
<i>when we were together, all the
amazing things that we'd done</i>

2260
01:54:01.534 --> 01:54:04.270
<i>and the amazing person
that he was.</i>

2261
01:54:08.908 --> 01:54:11.511
<i>After Tony died,</i>

2262
01:54:11.544 --> 01:54:15.414
<i>the restaurant, les halles,
it just became this shrine.</i>

2263
01:54:16.682 --> 01:54:20.988
We didn't realize he meant
so much to so many people.

2264
01:54:21.955 --> 01:54:24.824
<i>"You inspired me
to get out of my comfort zone</i>

2265
01:54:24.857 --> 01:54:28.361
<i>and fearlessly immerse myself
in the richness of life."</i>

2266
01:54:29.529 --> 01:54:30.806
<i>"Advocate for
the working classes,</i>

2267
01:54:30.830 --> 01:54:32.032
<i>"the immigrants, the poor.</i>

2268
01:54:32.065 --> 01:54:34.300
<i>This world didn't deserve you."</i>

2269
01:54:38.038 --> 01:54:39.705
And then a few people
left poems.

2270
01:54:39.739 --> 01:54:42.842
<i>"One said," everyone forgets
that icarus also flew.</i>

2271
01:54:42.875 --> 01:54:46.579
<i>"I believe icarus
was not failing as he fell</i>

2272
01:54:46.612 --> 01:54:49.682
but just coming to the end
of his triumph."

2273
01:55:10.636 --> 01:55:12.705
You know, I was
an angry young man.

2274
01:55:12.738 --> 01:55:14.407
I-I, uh...

2275
01:55:15.608 --> 01:55:18.979
I forget what I was angry about,
especially looking at this.

2276
01:55:19.012 --> 01:55:20.847
What the hell
was I so angry about?

2277
01:55:20.880 --> 01:55:23.382
This was, you know...

2278
01:55:24.985 --> 01:55:26.752
paradise.

2279
01:55:42.602 --> 01:55:44.370
Sorry.

2280
01:55:45.571 --> 01:55:47.740
Can I say something?

2281
01:55:47.773 --> 01:55:49.609
<i>To have him
walking down a beach,</i>

2282
01:55:49.642 --> 01:55:51.144
<i>it resonates, it's sweet.</i>

2283
01:55:51.178 --> 01:55:53.713
And I go, you know,
as-as I was upstairs

2284
01:55:53.746 --> 01:55:56.449
using the restroom,
I was like...

2285
01:55:56.482 --> 01:55:57.884
"He would fucking hate that."

2286
01:56:03.823 --> 01:56:07.927
<i>Going out in a Blaze of glory
was so fucking lame.</i>

2287
01:56:08.996 --> 01:56:12.665
<i>But we live in this society
where every great artist</i>

2288
01:56:12.698 --> 01:56:15.168
<i>who kills themselves
is on murals</i>

2289
01:56:15.202 --> 01:56:17.170
and they're talked about
like gods.

2290
01:56:17.204 --> 01:56:18.771
- Tony's on murals.
- Yeah. That's...

2291
01:56:18.804 --> 01:56:20.806
Around town,
there are a couple of them.

2292
01:56:20.840 --> 01:56:22.642
I should go deface them.

2293
01:56:22.675 --> 01:56:24.543
<i>He would love it if I did that.</i>

2294
01:56:24.577 --> 01:56:28.547
♪ I got
your written invitation ♪

2295
01:56:28.581 --> 01:56:31.118
♪ a beautiful stick in the eye ♪

2296
01:56:31.151 --> 01:56:33.020
♪ I get the message ♪

2297
01:56:33.053 --> 01:56:34.520
♪ you been sending ♪

2298
01:56:34.553 --> 01:56:37.657
♪ ain't no good in goodbye ♪

2299
01:56:37.690 --> 01:56:40.459
♪ throw everything away ♪

2300
01:56:41.594 --> 01:56:43.596
♪ anything can be replaced ♪

2301
01:56:43.629 --> 01:56:47.900
♪ black and blue
is the best I can do... ♪

2302
01:56:50.736 --> 01:56:52.205
Ooh.

2303
01:56:52.239 --> 01:56:53.941
Yeah.

2304
01:56:56.143 --> 01:56:57.810
♪ Want to? ♪

2305
01:56:58.711 --> 01:57:01.480
♪ Oh, what a pain in the asp ♪

2306
01:57:01.514 --> 01:57:05.618
♪ endless love and devotion ♪

2307
01:57:05.651 --> 01:57:07.820
♪ Indian gifts of the past ♪

2308
01:57:07.853 --> 01:57:10.656
♪ just another drop
on the ocean ♪

2309
01:57:10.690 --> 01:57:13.994
♪ empty space, empty heart ♪

2310
01:57:14.027 --> 01:57:17.164
♪ where the love ♪

2311
01:57:17.197 --> 01:57:20.167
♪ is not anymore ♪

2312
01:57:20.200 --> 01:57:23.136
♪ so ♪

2313
01:58:16.056 --> 01:58:17.257
♪ Living in limbo ♪

2314
01:58:17.290 --> 01:58:18.924
♪ kisses akimbo ♪

2315
01:58:18.959 --> 01:58:23.030
♪ every single bridge
is on fire ♪

2316
01:58:23.063 --> 01:58:24.164
♪ hold me together? ♪

2317
01:58:24.197 --> 01:58:25.698
♪ No way, never ♪

2318
01:58:25.731 --> 01:58:28.567
♪ due date done expired ♪

2319
01:58:28.601 --> 01:58:32.272
♪ second chances are a waste ♪

2320
01:58:32.305 --> 01:58:35.308
♪ I'm gonna bend until I break ♪

2321
01:58:35.342 --> 01:58:38.911
♪ black and blue
is the best I can do ♪

2322
01:58:41.348 --> 01:58:45.218
♪ yeah, black and blue
and broken in two ♪

2323
01:58:45.252 --> 01:58:46.786
♪ whoa, whoa ♪

2324
01:58:46.819 --> 01:58:48.788
♪ want to? ♪