1 00:00:02,000 --> 00:00:07,000 Downloaded from YTS.MX 2 00:00:08,000 --> 00:00:13,000 Official YIFY movies site: YTS.MX 3 00:00:48,780 --> 00:00:53,219 This is me and I hate my life. It wasn't always this way. I 4 00:00:53,252 --> 00:00:56,355 used to live in a big house, in a big city that so easily 5 00:00:56,387 --> 00:00:58,557 swallowed you up it left you naked with your own petty 6 00:00:58,591 --> 00:01:01,727 significance. It was perfect. 7 00:01:01,759 --> 00:01:05,131 I wasn't even a blip on the radar. Then my dad had to go 8 00:01:05,164 --> 00:01:06,698 fuck it up literally. 9 00:01:07,667 --> 00:01:09,302 Sing for me my angel of music. 10 00:01:09,334 --> 00:01:10,302 That's my dad. 11 00:01:10,335 --> 00:01:11,304 George! 12 00:01:11,337 --> 00:01:12,305 Oh, hey mom! 13 00:01:12,337 --> 00:01:14,806 I can explain. 14 00:01:14,840 --> 00:01:17,185 I don't know how dad tried to explain nailing the maid up the 15 00:01:17,209 --> 00:01:21,713 pooper, but oddly enough, It didn't work. 16 00:01:21,746 --> 00:01:25,584 So I got landed here. Shitsville, U.S.A. 17 00:01:25,617 --> 00:01:29,321 Fuck, I hope they have pesticide for lunch. 18 00:02:16,502 --> 00:02:18,705 How was Hendrix? 19 00:02:46,865 --> 00:02:47,933 Twatkins High? 20 00:02:47,966 --> 00:02:50,336 Hurry up, you don't want to be late. 21 00:02:50,368 --> 00:02:53,939 Late? Considering we just drove fifteen hundred miles so I can 22 00:02:53,973 --> 00:02:57,343 get a diploma that read Twatkins High, late really isn't the 23 00:02:57,376 --> 00:02:58,912 issue right now. 24 00:03:13,324 --> 00:03:14,893 This toolbag is Jordan Davies. 25 00:03:14,926 --> 00:03:17,263 Quarterback and head douchebaggery of Twatkins High. 26 00:03:17,295 --> 00:03:18,965 Who the fuck are you? 27 00:03:18,997 --> 00:03:21,366 Kelvin, Kelvin Anis. 28 00:03:21,400 --> 00:03:25,538 Dude, did you just say your name was anus? 29 00:03:25,570 --> 00:03:26,906 What a douche. 30 00:03:27,372 --> 00:03:30,375 Now, when your last name is Anis you kind of expect the name 31 00:03:30,408 --> 00:03:32,877 calling. It's best to just let it go. 32 00:03:32,911 --> 00:03:35,647 Actually, I said Anis. But its cool man it happens all the 33 00:03:35,681 --> 00:03:37,582 time. Let it go. 34 00:03:37,616 --> 00:03:39,285 You know, not all the time, you know. 35 00:03:39,318 --> 00:03:40,987 Just let it go. 36 00:03:41,020 --> 00:03:43,856 The last kid who did it, he was kind of slow. I'm not saying 37 00:03:43,889 --> 00:03:45,849 you're slow, it's just, he liked to eat his own... 38 00:03:46,358 --> 00:03:47,960 Stupid. 39 00:04:26,999 --> 00:04:29,068 Need a hand? 40 00:04:29,100 --> 00:04:31,069 No. What makes you think I need help? 41 00:04:31,103 --> 00:04:32,304 You're wearing a guitar, I... 42 00:04:32,338 --> 00:04:36,509 What? Holy shit, look at that. Man, it's a good thing you were 43 00:04:36,541 --> 00:04:38,653 here. Otherwise, how would I have ever known that I was 44 00:04:38,677 --> 00:04:40,746 stuck in a guitar. 45 00:04:40,778 --> 00:04:41,781 Fine, whatever. 46 00:04:41,814 --> 00:04:43,015 Wait. Wait, wait. 47 00:04:43,048 --> 00:04:44,283 Now you want my help. 48 00:04:44,315 --> 00:04:48,486 Yes, alright, I want your help. Fuck, you know, why don't you 49 00:04:48,519 --> 00:04:53,558 just rub your balls in my face. Come on, come on, just lift up. 50 00:04:53,591 --> 00:04:58,597 What happened? Dude, hold still. 51 00:04:58,964 --> 00:05:00,732 It's fucking sharp, man. It hurts. 52 00:05:00,766 --> 00:05:02,335 Alright, what do you want me to do? 53 00:05:02,367 --> 00:05:03,769 Slow. Slow. 54 00:05:03,802 --> 00:05:05,538 Can you shut up for a second? Let me just... 55 00:05:05,571 --> 00:05:06,906 Okay. Okay. Okay. 56 00:05:06,939 --> 00:05:08,574 Alright. It's just really on there. 57 00:05:08,607 --> 00:05:12,979 Ooh, watch the nipple, watch the nipple. Ow! 58 00:05:17,382 --> 00:05:18,717 Here you go. 59 00:05:39,538 --> 00:05:40,872 Good morning. 60 00:05:40,906 --> 00:05:43,576 Well, hello there young man and how are you today? 61 00:05:43,608 --> 00:05:46,411 Fine, thanks. Um, I just transferred here. I was told to 62 00:05:46,444 --> 00:05:48,113 stop by and pick up my schedule. 63 00:05:48,146 --> 00:05:51,783 Well, aren't you just a silly goose. I know who you are. 64 00:05:51,817 --> 00:05:55,920 You're Jessica's son. Got your class schedule right around here 65 00:05:55,954 --> 00:05:57,990 somewhere. Kelvin, right? 66 00:05:58,023 --> 00:05:59,658 Uh, yeah that's right. 67 00:05:59,690 --> 00:06:02,594 Oh, don't look so surprised. It's not like I'm one of those 68 00:06:02,627 --> 00:06:04,463 psychics or anything. 69 00:06:10,435 --> 00:06:12,003 Why don't you take this and have a seat 70 00:06:12,036 --> 00:06:15,707 over there. It'll just take a few minutes. 71 00:06:18,576 --> 00:06:20,012 Somebody kill me. 72 00:06:23,915 --> 00:06:25,750 Okay, folks there it is. Six weeks. 73 00:06:25,783 --> 00:06:27,887 What does it all mean? It means it's going to be 74 00:06:27,920 --> 00:06:30,098 party time. It's going to be midterms. So you're going to 75 00:06:30,122 --> 00:06:32,132 have to knuckle down between now and then. We got a lot of 76 00:06:32,156 --> 00:06:34,569 material to cover, right? So if you hear the word penis, vagina, 77 00:06:34,593 --> 00:06:36,971 you know, don't start giggling. This is grade twelve biology, 78 00:06:36,995 --> 00:06:40,031 okay? Are we all in agreement here? 79 00:06:40,064 --> 00:06:43,468 It's party time right from the start. 80 00:06:48,507 --> 00:06:51,644 Mr. Flaherty, how nice of you to join us. 81 00:06:51,944 --> 00:06:53,846 Any time, sir. 82 00:06:53,879 --> 00:06:57,216 Mr. Flaherty, need I remind you that your grievous test scores 83 00:06:57,249 --> 00:07:00,453 from last year are some of the worst I've seen in my twenty-two 84 00:07:00,485 --> 00:07:04,990 years of teaching. So, maybe if you made it on time and maybe 85 00:07:05,023 --> 00:07:08,694 paid attention, you just might be able to scrape together a 86 00:07:08,726 --> 00:07:11,697 decent score without a negative sign in front of it in the end. 87 00:07:11,730 --> 00:07:16,068 I'm sorry, but maybe you didn't notice me carrying this around. 88 00:07:16,100 --> 00:07:18,971 Do you think it's possible that there might be a reason that I 89 00:07:19,004 --> 00:07:20,473 was fucking late? 90 00:07:21,939 --> 00:07:24,877 Congratulations, Mr. Flaherty, you've earned a trip to the 91 00:07:24,910 --> 00:07:28,914 principal's office on your very first day. I'm sure your parents 92 00:07:28,947 --> 00:07:30,750 will be very pleased. 93 00:07:33,651 --> 00:07:36,087 What the hell sir? You're pissing on me for being, like 94 00:07:36,120 --> 00:07:39,091 five seconds late, when those knob jobs took my guitar's 95 00:07:39,124 --> 00:07:41,093 virginity using my fucking head! 96 00:07:41,125 --> 00:07:42,870 Alright, that's it, Flaherty! You're out of here! 97 00:07:42,894 --> 00:07:46,531 Okay, sir. Look, calm down, okay. How about I say I'm sorry 98 00:07:46,564 --> 00:07:49,100 for being late and you let go of my sack for a bit? 99 00:07:49,134 --> 00:07:50,102 Out! 100 00:07:50,134 --> 00:07:51,103 Sir? 101 00:07:51,136 --> 00:07:52,805 Get out of here! 102 00:07:54,673 --> 00:07:57,108 Slut. Asshole. Hoe. Shithead. 103 00:07:57,141 --> 00:07:58,310 So gross. 104 00:07:58,343 --> 00:08:00,646 This coming from the V.D. piñata. Hey, did you ever get 105 00:08:00,678 --> 00:08:03,982 your tampons the condoms they asked for? Bitch. 106 00:08:05,149 --> 00:08:07,019 Have a nice day. 107 00:08:07,485 --> 00:08:10,656 That's what you get. Yeah, yeah. Take it. Yeah. 108 00:08:10,689 --> 00:08:13,893 Take it. Take it. 109 00:08:13,925 --> 00:08:18,663 Um, Fritz, what are you doing, man? 110 00:08:18,697 --> 00:08:23,134 Hey, Carla. I, uh, that's not what it looked like. 111 00:08:23,168 --> 00:08:25,004 Right. 112 00:08:25,036 --> 00:08:28,740 You thought that I was? 113 00:08:28,774 --> 00:08:31,310 No, no. I mean, you see this? 114 00:08:31,343 --> 00:08:34,146 This is a no felashe zone. 115 00:08:34,178 --> 00:08:37,216 So, as long as you're the felatee it's okay, then? 116 00:08:37,249 --> 00:08:41,287 Yeah. Guess I just have to find me a felateur. 117 00:08:41,320 --> 00:08:45,157 I'm in. 118 00:08:45,190 --> 00:08:48,260 Wait, wait. I, uh, I haven't heard you singing on. 119 00:08:48,293 --> 00:08:49,327 Main Street lately. 120 00:08:49,360 --> 00:08:50,328 You've seen me sing? 121 00:08:50,361 --> 00:08:54,766 Yeah. I mean, uh, I've passed by. You know? 122 00:08:55,533 --> 00:08:58,703 Yeah, well unfortunately you won't see me there any time soon 123 00:08:58,736 --> 00:09:00,981 because my brother is off to school. I don't have any music 124 00:09:01,005 --> 00:09:02,341 to sing to. 125 00:09:02,374 --> 00:09:03,609 How about a stereo? 126 00:09:03,642 --> 00:09:06,979 Well, I mean, it's not quite the same as live, but I guess if I 127 00:09:07,011 --> 00:09:09,047 get desperate? I guess I will. 128 00:09:09,081 --> 00:09:10,081 Cool. 129 00:09:13,085 --> 00:09:16,589 Fritz, I'm going to go to the bathroom now. 130 00:09:16,621 --> 00:09:18,990 Right, yeah. Go ahead. 131 00:09:19,024 --> 00:09:20,192 Okay. 132 00:09:20,225 --> 00:09:23,129 Word to your mother. 133 00:09:26,798 --> 00:09:28,333 Vanilla Ice. 134 00:09:28,366 --> 00:09:30,269 Carla Cummings finally talks to you and you 135 00:09:30,302 --> 00:09:34,240 quote Vanilla fucking Ice? 136 00:09:37,942 --> 00:09:41,581 God, I'm like the poster child for spermicide. 137 00:09:54,326 --> 00:09:55,293 Hey. 138 00:09:55,326 --> 00:09:56,394 Hey. 139 00:09:56,427 --> 00:09:57,996 How's the guitar? 140 00:09:58,029 --> 00:10:00,832 Don't know. Probably filing a harassment suit. 141 00:10:00,865 --> 00:10:04,836 Wasn't even my type. Hold this. 142 00:10:04,870 --> 00:10:05,837 What the hell is this? 143 00:10:05,870 --> 00:10:06,838 What? 144 00:10:06,871 --> 00:10:08,240 McDonald's or Wendy's? 145 00:10:08,273 --> 00:10:10,242 Oh, it's for rating girl's ninja slippers. 146 00:10:10,274 --> 00:10:11,976 I like to know how I'm dining. 147 00:10:12,009 --> 00:10:13,245 What? 148 00:10:13,278 --> 00:10:15,913 Look, you know how a Mac Do's hamburger has that perfect bun 149 00:10:15,947 --> 00:10:19,018 seal and then a Wendy's Burg always has that little extra 150 00:10:19,051 --> 00:10:20,786 flap of meat hanging out? 151 00:10:20,818 --> 00:10:23,254 Flaherty, get in here! 152 00:10:23,288 --> 00:10:27,225 Ah, crap. Later. 153 00:10:30,729 --> 00:10:32,965 Later. 154 00:10:35,833 --> 00:10:39,270 This is bullshit, John! 155 00:10:45,177 --> 00:10:46,144 I'm telling you guys, 156 00:10:46,177 --> 00:10:48,279 it's possible that there is a slight chance that 157 00:10:48,312 --> 00:10:50,948 Carla Cummings may not be completely disgusted 158 00:10:50,981 --> 00:10:52,350 by the idea of having me in, 159 00:10:52,384 --> 00:10:54,452 or at least in close proximity to her mouth. 160 00:10:54,485 --> 00:10:55,996 Dude, you've been trying to talk to this girl 161 00:10:56,020 --> 00:10:57,288 since junior year. 162 00:10:57,322 --> 00:10:58,691 Have you even tried to make a move? 163 00:10:58,724 --> 00:10:59,966 Look, you weren't there, alright. 164 00:10:59,990 --> 00:11:02,427 First of all, her name is Carla Cummings, okay. 165 00:11:02,461 --> 00:11:06,298 Cummings. That's like pornstar styley. 166 00:11:06,331 --> 00:11:08,167 Good point, my friend. Good point. 167 00:11:08,200 --> 00:11:09,301 I know. 168 00:11:09,333 --> 00:11:10,468 Hey dude, look. 169 00:11:10,501 --> 00:11:12,837 Attention T. Watkins High students. 170 00:11:12,870 --> 00:11:14,372 We have a new student today. 171 00:11:14,405 --> 00:11:16,474 Please, make sure you welcome Kelvin Anis 172 00:11:16,508 --> 00:11:19,043 to the school. Have a great afternoon. 173 00:11:27,985 --> 00:11:31,423 How's your first day going, Anus? 174 00:11:33,958 --> 00:11:35,993 Oh, wow. Wow. 175 00:11:36,027 --> 00:11:38,197 Uh, hey, dude, you got a mint or something? 176 00:11:38,230 --> 00:11:39,197 Gum? 177 00:11:39,230 --> 00:11:40,064 What? 178 00:11:40,099 --> 00:11:41,341 I just didn't know they were serving 179 00:11:41,365 --> 00:11:42,365 garbage, dude. How was it? 180 00:11:45,035 --> 00:11:46,771 Listen, you little fuck. 181 00:11:46,804 --> 00:11:48,339 Some people may think that you being 182 00:11:48,373 --> 00:11:50,209 from Hollywood makes you hot shit, 183 00:11:50,241 --> 00:11:52,211 but that don't make it so. 184 00:11:52,244 --> 00:11:55,880 You were a loser there. And you're a loser here. 185 00:11:58,984 --> 00:12:01,220 Dude, at least I'm consistent. 186 00:12:01,253 --> 00:12:03,889 Hey! Move it along, Davies. 187 00:12:03,922 --> 00:12:06,125 Let go of me, Mr. Clean. Shouldn't you be washing 188 00:12:06,158 --> 00:12:08,360 my shit out of the toilets or something? 189 00:12:08,393 --> 00:12:11,062 I said, move it along, Davies. 190 00:12:11,395 --> 00:12:14,365 See you around, Anus. 191 00:12:17,001 --> 00:12:18,836 Jordan Davies' bad side. 192 00:12:18,870 --> 00:12:20,839 It's not a good place to be, kid. 193 00:12:20,871 --> 00:12:23,241 You better watch your back. 194 00:12:23,274 --> 00:12:26,745 It's cool, everything's been coming from the front. 195 00:12:31,582 --> 00:12:34,120 You're crazy. 196 00:13:26,471 --> 00:13:27,905 What's up? 197 00:13:27,938 --> 00:13:30,107 Don't do it. 198 00:13:30,140 --> 00:13:31,108 Do what? 199 00:13:31,142 --> 00:13:33,111 Be a hero. It's not worth it. 200 00:13:33,144 --> 00:13:34,178 Who is she? 201 00:13:34,211 --> 00:13:35,590 From the tent you're pitching, I'm guessing you're 202 00:13:35,614 --> 00:13:37,316 talking about Valerie Ward. 203 00:13:37,349 --> 00:13:39,318 - Tent I'm pitching? - Yeah, I see it. 204 00:13:39,350 --> 00:13:41,452 Forget it. If we even had a league, 205 00:13:41,485 --> 00:13:42,629 there would still be a better league 206 00:13:42,653 --> 00:13:44,121 we'd need to get into 207 00:13:44,154 --> 00:13:46,190 before she was simply out of our league. 208 00:13:46,224 --> 00:13:48,134 Come on, you're telling me that Davies is in her league? 209 00:13:48,158 --> 00:13:49,528 That recycled douchebag? 210 00:13:49,561 --> 00:13:51,530 Pfft. He wishes. 211 00:13:51,562 --> 00:13:53,298 That there my friend is one hundred percent, 212 00:13:53,331 --> 00:13:55,433 prime cut, felashe mignon. 213 00:13:55,466 --> 00:13:57,635 He'd have a better chance entering a convent. 214 00:13:57,668 --> 00:13:59,346 Hey I thought the hero always got the girl? 215 00:13:59,370 --> 00:14:00,514 What are you fucking kidding me? 216 00:14:00,538 --> 00:14:04,076 Does Spiderman ever give the pink slider to Mary Jane? 217 00:14:04,109 --> 00:14:06,345 Does Batman ever give Cat Woman the one-eyed dolphin? 218 00:14:06,378 --> 00:14:08,247 You know a lot of names for penis. 219 00:14:08,279 --> 00:14:10,348 - About ninety-three, yeah. - Wow. 220 00:14:10,381 --> 00:14:12,350 Aids Grenade, Fallopian Fiddler, Hymen Hammer, 221 00:14:12,384 --> 00:14:14,452 Beaver Cleaver, Vagina Miner, Twelve inch. 222 00:14:14,485 --> 00:14:15,287 Train of Pain... 223 00:14:15,320 --> 00:14:19,091 Okay. Gosh. Alright, I got to go. 224 00:14:19,124 --> 00:14:22,561 Good idea. Good idea. Today is a good day to die. 225 00:14:22,594 --> 00:14:26,064 I know they don't like me. They like you even less. 226 00:14:26,096 --> 00:14:27,031 Why? 227 00:14:27,065 --> 00:14:29,301 Cause you're the new kid. You're a threat. 228 00:14:29,333 --> 00:14:31,068 It's a good thing I don't have a guitar so. 229 00:14:31,101 --> 00:14:32,236 No? Got a granola bar? 230 00:14:32,269 --> 00:14:33,237 Granola bar? 231 00:14:33,270 --> 00:14:34,238 Believe me. 232 00:14:34,272 --> 00:14:36,575 When they want to they can be real creative. 233 00:14:36,607 --> 00:14:38,943 Look, football practice is in a few hours, 234 00:14:38,976 --> 00:14:40,913 we usually hang out inside until then. 235 00:14:40,946 --> 00:14:42,047 Who's we? 236 00:14:42,080 --> 00:14:44,984 Come on I'll show you. 237 00:14:53,091 --> 00:14:54,525 I know what you're thinking. 238 00:14:54,558 --> 00:14:56,661 Did he fire six shots or only five? 239 00:14:56,695 --> 00:14:58,664 Well, the truth with all this excitement, 240 00:14:58,697 --> 00:15:00,565 I kind of lost track myself. 241 00:15:00,597 --> 00:15:02,633 But being this is a forty-four Magnum, 242 00:15:02,667 --> 00:15:04,201 the most powerful handgun in the world 243 00:15:04,235 --> 00:15:06,004 and would blow your head clean off, 244 00:15:06,037 --> 00:15:08,273 you got to ask yourself one question. 245 00:15:08,306 --> 00:15:10,075 Do I feel lucky? 246 00:15:10,107 --> 00:15:12,009 Well, do ya punk? 247 00:15:12,043 --> 00:15:13,245 Don't rush me. 248 00:15:13,278 --> 00:15:17,149 And that was too easy. Dirty Harry. 249 00:15:17,182 --> 00:15:19,283 Okay, let's do this. 250 00:15:19,317 --> 00:15:22,421 About damn time. 251 00:15:25,590 --> 00:15:27,426 That's inconceivable. 252 00:15:27,458 --> 00:15:29,427 The Sicilian. Princess Bride. 253 00:15:29,461 --> 00:15:32,129 Scissors beats paper, big shock. 254 00:15:32,163 --> 00:15:33,364 Let me guess. 255 00:15:33,398 --> 00:15:36,033 Cheddar was losing so he took his time on the next round, 256 00:15:36,067 --> 00:15:38,570 hoping to lure Rerun into a false sense of security. 257 00:15:38,602 --> 00:15:40,604 Now, we all know that Rerun is impatient so he 258 00:15:40,638 --> 00:15:43,408 probably began babbling on about some film factoid 259 00:15:43,441 --> 00:15:45,243 in order to fill the gaping silence. 260 00:15:45,275 --> 00:15:46,486 Cheddar entertained the conversation, 261 00:15:46,510 --> 00:15:49,180 nodding here and replying there, until he could find a point 262 00:15:49,214 --> 00:15:51,016 of weakness in the meaningless drivel. 263 00:15:51,048 --> 00:15:53,518 And then Cheddar restarted the match. 264 00:15:53,551 --> 00:15:57,155 Because you thought given the state of Rerun's duress, 265 00:15:57,187 --> 00:15:59,758 he would throw what would take the least amount of motor skill 266 00:15:59,791 --> 00:16:01,593 effort, this of course being rock. 267 00:16:01,625 --> 00:16:03,260 So Cheddar throws paper. 268 00:16:03,293 --> 00:16:06,264 But, you forgot, Cheddar, is that Rerun's favorite movie 269 00:16:06,297 --> 00:16:09,067 the most ready to go drive through h thought in his 270 00:16:09,100 --> 00:16:10,745 bizarre little brain is All The President's Men. 271 00:16:10,769 --> 00:16:12,446 A movie about a president who's immortalized for 272 00:16:12,470 --> 00:16:15,740 two things; Watergate and this. 273 00:16:15,774 --> 00:16:19,177 What's the peace sign, but simply scissors pointed up. 274 00:16:19,210 --> 00:16:20,545 I'm a little scared right now. 275 00:16:20,577 --> 00:16:23,481 Who's the fucking Sicilian? 276 00:16:23,514 --> 00:16:26,418 Hey, uh, who's that? 277 00:16:27,351 --> 00:16:29,420 Uh, Mr. Wiggington. We call him Wigs. 278 00:16:30,455 --> 00:16:32,090 Oh, yeah. Is he alright? 279 00:16:32,123 --> 00:16:33,725 As good as a raging alcoholic could be. 280 00:16:33,758 --> 00:16:35,627 Lucky for us he's also the chess club coach. 281 00:16:38,196 --> 00:16:40,499 Uh... that's what you guys do here, 282 00:16:40,532 --> 00:16:42,167 you guys are on the chess team? 283 00:16:42,200 --> 00:16:43,134 No, no. 284 00:16:43,168 --> 00:16:45,269 He just tells the school we're playing chess 285 00:16:45,302 --> 00:16:46,746 and in return, we don't tell anyone that 286 00:16:46,770 --> 00:16:48,774 he's drowning daily in a bottle of Jim Beam. 287 00:16:49,774 --> 00:16:52,376 I see. So what exactly do you guys do here? 288 00:16:52,409 --> 00:16:56,180 Know thy enemy. First rule of RPS. 289 00:16:56,214 --> 00:16:57,591 I thought that was the first rule of war. 290 00:16:57,615 --> 00:16:59,116 RPS is war. 291 00:16:59,149 --> 00:17:00,485 What is RPS? 292 00:17:00,518 --> 00:17:02,354 Rock, Paper, Scissors, you know? Roshambo. 293 00:17:02,386 --> 00:17:04,255 And not the Roshambo where players take turns 294 00:17:04,288 --> 00:17:07,459 kicking each others genitals until one falls down in pain... 295 00:17:07,491 --> 00:17:08,626 the other one. 296 00:17:08,660 --> 00:17:09,494 Kelvin this is Cheddar. 297 00:17:09,528 --> 00:17:12,364 Ninth grade phenom and super genius. 298 00:17:12,396 --> 00:17:14,341 He is going to MIT next year. If you knew half the 299 00:17:14,365 --> 00:17:16,601 shit he does it would make your balls ache. 300 00:17:16,634 --> 00:17:18,370 They already do from that Roshambo thing. 301 00:17:18,403 --> 00:17:20,238 Thank you, Cheddar. Nice to meet you. 302 00:17:20,270 --> 00:17:21,138 And this is Rerun. 303 00:17:21,172 --> 00:17:23,141 Future film producer and movie addict. 304 00:17:23,173 --> 00:17:24,442 Guys, this is Kelvin. 305 00:17:24,643 --> 00:17:27,246 Hey, what's up. You're a film producer? 306 00:17:27,644 --> 00:17:28,713 Show him. 307 00:17:30,347 --> 00:17:32,283 Just hold it. Hold it still. 308 00:17:32,317 --> 00:17:34,286 Hey guys, it's me Rerun. 309 00:17:34,318 --> 00:17:37,288 Alright, this shit's going to go down tonight. 310 00:17:37,321 --> 00:17:39,490 I'm going to peepee on the popo. 311 00:17:39,523 --> 00:17:41,225 Let's do this shit right now. 312 00:17:43,361 --> 00:17:44,629 This is your film? 313 00:17:44,662 --> 00:17:47,499 DareYouToPissOnDotDot.com. 314 00:17:47,531 --> 00:17:50,167 This has been seen by over two million people. 315 00:17:50,201 --> 00:17:51,779 Cheddar here helped me set up the website. 316 00:17:51,803 --> 00:17:53,338 People write in and dare me to piss on 317 00:17:53,371 --> 00:17:55,407 stuff and then I go and do it. 318 00:17:55,440 --> 00:17:57,176 Hi. 319 00:18:00,244 --> 00:18:01,245 Oh shit. 320 00:18:02,212 --> 00:18:03,848 Oh, what the fuck! 321 00:18:03,882 --> 00:18:05,650 So, what do you think, huh? 322 00:18:05,682 --> 00:18:07,652 I'm morally conflicted. 323 00:18:07,684 --> 00:18:10,422 That's the power of movies, man. Makes you think. 324 00:18:11,288 --> 00:18:12,656 Alright, alright you crazy bastard. 325 00:18:12,690 --> 00:18:13,658 Let's just get back- 326 00:18:13,691 --> 00:18:14,860 Hey, speaking of crazy. 327 00:18:14,893 --> 00:18:16,661 Einstein, where you been man? You're late. 328 00:18:16,693 --> 00:18:18,363 Dude, you call him Einstein? 329 00:18:18,395 --> 00:18:19,463 Yeah. 330 00:18:19,497 --> 00:18:21,666 That's messed up dude. Isn't he retarded? What the- 331 00:18:22,700 --> 00:18:23,668 Stop. Stop! 332 00:18:23,701 --> 00:18:24,701 Watch his fingers! 333 00:18:27,404 --> 00:18:28,507 That's enough! 334 00:18:28,539 --> 00:18:30,908 Okay! Okay, enough! Enough! 335 00:18:30,942 --> 00:18:32,777 Ow! Owwww! 336 00:18:33,611 --> 00:18:35,347 Okay. Okay, cool. Yeah, big guy 337 00:18:35,380 --> 00:18:38,383 uh, we'll pick it up tomorrow. 338 00:18:38,415 --> 00:18:40,351 What the fuck was that? 339 00:18:40,384 --> 00:18:42,220 You called him retarded. 340 00:18:42,252 --> 00:18:44,364 I didn't call him retarded. I asked if he was retarded. 341 00:18:44,388 --> 00:18:46,423 I'm not the one fucking calling him Einstein. 342 00:18:46,457 --> 00:18:48,894 We call him that because he's a goddamn genius. 343 00:18:48,926 --> 00:18:50,694 He can't speak, of course, 344 00:18:50,728 --> 00:18:52,697 but if you need to hack into the CIA, 345 00:18:52,730 --> 00:18:53,865 Einstein is your man. 346 00:18:53,897 --> 00:18:54,899 Ah! 347 00:18:54,932 --> 00:18:56,367 Don't take it personal, okay? 348 00:18:56,401 --> 00:18:58,903 It's like a trigger word or something. 349 00:18:58,936 --> 00:19:01,238 I mean, any time anyone says the word retarded', 350 00:19:01,271 --> 00:19:03,240 he goes ape shit. One time he mistook 351 00:19:03,273 --> 00:19:05,209 this girl for saying the word rewarded', 352 00:19:05,242 --> 00:19:07,412 and then he mistook her head for a kickstand. 353 00:19:07,444 --> 00:19:09,647 Okay, I got it, okay. Retarded, bad. 354 00:19:09,681 --> 00:19:12,183 Okay, you know what? It doesn't even matter. 355 00:19:12,217 --> 00:19:13,726 I mean, it's not like he needs to practice 356 00:19:13,750 --> 00:19:15,361 the guy has never lost. Which is more than I 357 00:19:15,385 --> 00:19:16,721 can say for the rest of us. 358 00:19:16,753 --> 00:19:18,956 Lost at what? What do you guys do here? 359 00:19:18,990 --> 00:19:21,259 RPS-we're training for the tournament. Come on. 360 00:19:23,561 --> 00:19:26,263 Wait! There's a tournament for rock, paper, scissors? 361 00:19:26,297 --> 00:19:28,366 International tournament. Yeah. 362 00:19:28,767 --> 00:19:30,802 Oh, man, and you guys are training for it? 363 00:19:30,835 --> 00:19:34,271 Uh, uh. We're training for it. 364 00:19:36,307 --> 00:19:39,344 Look man I'm sorry, but, you got the wrong guy. Okay? 365 00:19:39,376 --> 00:19:40,744 I'm going to see you around. 366 00:19:42,513 --> 00:19:43,548 Wait. 367 00:19:43,580 --> 00:19:45,884 It just came out! 368 00:19:45,916 --> 00:19:47,427 I know it sounds like something that even 369 00:19:47,451 --> 00:19:49,386 marching band assholes would make fun of, 370 00:19:49,420 --> 00:19:51,690 but all they get is a tall hat and a shiny tuba 371 00:19:51,722 --> 00:19:52,957 for a life of ridicule. 372 00:19:52,990 --> 00:19:55,594 This is a legitimate tournament. Takes place every year and the 373 00:19:55,626 --> 00:19:58,529 grand prize is two hundred and fifty thousand dollars. 374 00:19:58,962 --> 00:20:01,566 Look, anyone can enter, the only rule is that you 375 00:20:01,598 --> 00:20:02,766 have to have a team of five. 376 00:20:02,799 --> 00:20:04,336 And as you can see, we're one short. 377 00:20:04,368 --> 00:20:06,770 Once Einstein comes back, anyways. 378 00:20:06,804 --> 00:20:07,872 So what do you think? 379 00:20:07,904 --> 00:20:10,774 Seriously guys, you can get anybody, for your team. 380 00:20:10,807 --> 00:20:12,644 I don't even know how to play. 381 00:20:12,676 --> 00:20:14,445 I didn't even know what RPS stood for. 382 00:20:14,479 --> 00:20:15,447 He has a point there. 383 00:20:15,480 --> 00:20:16,615 Shut it, Cheddar. 384 00:20:16,647 --> 00:20:18,015 And no, we can't get just anyone 385 00:20:18,048 --> 00:20:20,484 because anyone won't give us the uber team we need to 386 00:20:20,518 --> 00:20:21,786 compete at nationals. 387 00:20:21,818 --> 00:20:24,021 Do you think Monk chooses his team out of a hat? 388 00:20:24,055 --> 00:20:24,923 Who the hell is Monk? 389 00:20:24,955 --> 00:20:28,325 RPS grandmaster and reigning champion. 390 00:20:28,358 --> 00:20:30,327 Of course he is. Look, guys honestly, 391 00:20:30,361 --> 00:20:31,796 I don't know how to, play. 392 00:20:31,828 --> 00:20:33,029 Of course you know how to play. 393 00:20:33,064 --> 00:20:37,802 Everyone knows how to play. But, you, can know how to win. 394 00:20:37,835 --> 00:20:39,336 That was awesome. 395 00:20:39,369 --> 00:20:41,772 I think I just peed a little. Woah. 396 00:20:42,006 --> 00:20:44,276 The force is strong in you Kelvin Anis. 397 00:20:44,308 --> 00:20:46,344 I will make you a fucking Jedi. 398 00:20:46,376 --> 00:20:50,815 Jedi. Jedi. Jedi. Jedi. Jedi. Jedi. 399 00:20:50,847 --> 00:20:52,616 Okay, okay. I'll play for a little bit. 400 00:20:52,650 --> 00:20:54,352 It's not like I got anything better to do. 401 00:20:54,384 --> 00:20:55,819 But I'm not joining your team! 402 00:20:55,853 --> 00:20:59,356 Jedi. Jedi. Jedi. Jedi. Jedi. Jedi. Jedi. Jedi. 403 00:21:11,068 --> 00:21:12,037 Hey, Tiger. 404 00:21:12,069 --> 00:21:13,837 Hey, mom. How's work? 405 00:21:13,871 --> 00:21:15,507 You know, wasn't half bad. 406 00:21:15,539 --> 00:21:17,442 How was first day? 407 00:21:17,474 --> 00:21:19,852 I hung out with the chess team so I wouldn't get my ass kicked. 408 00:21:19,876 --> 00:21:21,512 Yeah very funny. 409 00:21:21,546 --> 00:21:24,582 Oh, before I forget, the internet guy came by today. 410 00:21:24,615 --> 00:21:25,784 Everything is set to go. 411 00:21:25,817 --> 00:21:27,384 Okay, just don't stay up all night? 412 00:21:27,417 --> 00:21:28,385 I won't. 413 00:21:28,419 --> 00:21:29,387 - Promise? - Yep. 414 00:21:29,420 --> 00:21:30,420 Okay. 415 00:21:32,423 --> 00:21:33,490 The internet. 416 00:21:33,523 --> 00:21:36,060 My one thread of a lifeline back to civilization. 417 00:21:37,761 --> 00:21:38,871 Or at least my civilization. 418 00:21:38,895 --> 00:21:40,632 Searching battlegrounds and alliances. 419 00:21:40,664 --> 00:21:42,032 The computer coliseum, Achillean. 420 00:21:42,066 --> 00:21:43,167 - Connecting. 421 00:21:43,201 --> 00:21:45,703 This is my varsity. This is my popularity. 422 00:21:45,737 --> 00:21:47,939 This is my drug of choice. 423 00:21:49,039 --> 00:21:50,442 - Alliances found. 424 00:22:00,617 --> 00:22:01,885 - You killed Lock Zero. 425 00:22:07,625 --> 00:22:09,560 - War Whore has joined. - Holy balls. 426 00:22:09,594 --> 00:22:10,828 What's up, War? 427 00:22:10,862 --> 00:22:12,831 What's going on Cock Chugger? 428 00:22:13,931 --> 00:22:15,900 Where the hell have you been. Man? 429 00:22:15,932 --> 00:22:17,034 Oh, Christ. 430 00:22:17,067 --> 00:22:18,911 Seriously, where have you been? It's crazy the beatings 431 00:22:18,935 --> 00:22:20,704 I've been taking since you've been gone. 432 00:22:20,738 --> 00:22:22,907 I know it took so long to get set up here. 433 00:22:22,940 --> 00:22:24,442 - Dark Chyld has joined. 434 00:22:24,474 --> 00:22:25,542 You ain't shittin'. 435 00:22:25,576 --> 00:22:27,454 We're getting abused like alter boys around here. 436 00:22:27,478 --> 00:22:28,779 What's up Chyld? 437 00:22:28,813 --> 00:22:30,915 Yo, who the hell is Silent Fury, man? 438 00:22:30,948 --> 00:22:32,083 Who? 439 00:22:32,115 --> 00:22:33,917 Silent Fury. Who the hell is that? 440 00:22:33,951 --> 00:22:35,118 I have no idea. Why? 441 00:22:35,152 --> 00:22:37,521 Cause he's been slapping the shit out of us for the last 442 00:22:37,555 --> 00:22:39,090 two weeks without even saying a word. 443 00:22:39,123 --> 00:22:40,392 Not even trying. 444 00:22:40,424 --> 00:22:41,925 There's a new gamer on here? 445 00:22:41,959 --> 00:22:43,628 How the hell did he get in? 446 00:22:43,661 --> 00:22:45,764 We saw someone listed as living in that dogtown 447 00:22:45,797 --> 00:22:48,466 you call home so sent an invite. 448 00:22:48,499 --> 00:22:49,933 Thought it was you. 449 00:22:49,967 --> 00:22:51,936 Someone from here is on Achillean? 450 00:22:51,969 --> 00:22:53,037 I don't know, apparently. 451 00:22:53,069 --> 00:22:54,038 How do you not know this? 452 00:22:54,070 --> 00:22:56,073 Aren't there 12 people that live in that town? 453 00:22:56,106 --> 00:22:58,710 Yeah dude. That reminds me, how's your mom's doing? 454 00:22:58,742 --> 00:23:01,579 Donkey, fucking rapetard! 455 00:23:01,980 --> 00:23:04,048 Why you gotta bring my mom's into this? 456 00:23:04,080 --> 00:23:05,082 - Silent Fury has joined. 457 00:23:05,115 --> 00:23:06,651 Oh shit. It's him. 458 00:23:06,683 --> 00:23:07,951 Who? 459 00:23:07,984 --> 00:23:09,086 Man, it's Fury! 460 00:23:09,119 --> 00:23:11,455 I got your fucking sauce buddy. 461 00:23:11,489 --> 00:23:12,957 Your mother doesn't love you! 462 00:23:12,990 --> 00:23:13,958 - You're new. 463 00:23:13,990 --> 00:23:14,959 You're new, huh? 464 00:23:14,991 --> 00:23:16,560 - Dark Chyld has joined. 465 00:23:18,663 --> 00:23:19,697 Son of a whore! 466 00:23:19,730 --> 00:23:21,866 - You were killed by Silent Fury. 467 00:23:22,666 --> 00:23:25,169 - You were killed by Silent Fury. 468 00:23:26,871 --> 00:23:28,206 Hold on. 469 00:23:28,239 --> 00:23:29,973 Alright, just chill guys I got this. 470 00:23:47,258 --> 00:23:49,728 - You were killed by Silent Fury. 471 00:23:51,828 --> 00:23:53,630 Damn. 472 00:24:05,242 --> 00:24:09,246 Hey! You're the new kid. From L.A., right? 473 00:24:09,279 --> 00:24:11,014 Yeah. How could you tell? 474 00:24:11,048 --> 00:24:13,183 Your clothes kind of gave it away. 475 00:24:14,218 --> 00:24:16,019 Really? I'm Kelvin. 476 00:24:16,053 --> 00:24:16,887 Hi, I'm Valerie. 477 00:24:16,921 --> 00:24:19,891 Valerie Ward. Yeah, I know. 478 00:24:19,923 --> 00:24:24,194 Worst thing about small towns. Everyone knows everyone. 479 00:24:24,228 --> 00:24:26,631 I thought that was the best thing about small towns. 480 00:24:26,663 --> 00:24:29,032 Explains why they always stay small? 481 00:24:29,066 --> 00:24:31,635 Val, your late. Let's go. 482 00:24:32,636 --> 00:24:35,740 Oh. Um, keep the clothes Kelvin. 483 00:24:35,772 --> 00:24:37,641 It's good to stand out. 484 00:24:37,674 --> 00:24:39,610 See you later. 485 00:24:39,644 --> 00:24:41,246 See ya. 486 00:24:44,147 --> 00:24:46,583 How are you talking to Valerie Ward? 487 00:24:46,616 --> 00:24:47,784 What's up, Fritz? 488 00:24:47,817 --> 00:24:49,996 I am. Jesus Christ, dude. I'm saluting for the both of us. 489 00:24:50,020 --> 00:24:51,855 That's Valerie Ward. 490 00:24:51,888 --> 00:24:54,057 I've lived here my whole life and pedophiles stand 491 00:24:54,090 --> 00:24:56,059 closer to preschools than I have to her. 492 00:24:57,795 --> 00:24:59,230 What did you think about last night? 493 00:24:59,262 --> 00:25:00,741 I think you know a little too much about 494 00:25:00,765 --> 00:25:01,866 rock, paper, scissors. 495 00:25:01,900 --> 00:25:05,670 Oh, that's nothing, man. I got moves you never even seen. 496 00:25:05,702 --> 00:25:07,771 What are you doing? 497 00:25:09,272 --> 00:25:11,842 Fritz, Please stop, dude. Come on. 498 00:25:11,875 --> 00:25:12,844 Shimmy. Shimmy. 499 00:25:12,876 --> 00:25:13,912 Dude. Stop. Stop. Stop. 500 00:25:13,944 --> 00:25:15,078 What? What? 501 00:25:15,112 --> 00:25:16,255 Cut it out. What are you doing? 502 00:25:16,279 --> 00:25:17,882 Alright, alright. I'm just playing. 503 00:25:17,914 --> 00:25:19,474 Just playing. Chill. But seriously dude, 504 00:25:19,916 --> 00:25:21,919 if you thought last night was intense, 505 00:25:21,952 --> 00:25:23,563 just wait until tonight. That's all I'm saying. 506 00:25:23,587 --> 00:25:25,088 Fritz. Fritz. I told you man. 507 00:25:25,122 --> 00:25:27,625 Last night was a one time thing. I'm RPSed out. 508 00:25:27,657 --> 00:25:30,627 Come on, man. You're my ninja, dog. 509 00:25:30,661 --> 00:25:33,331 Fritz, I'm out. Okay? I'm done. 510 00:25:33,364 --> 00:25:34,766 What am I going to tell the team? 511 00:25:34,798 --> 00:25:36,800 I don't know, tell them to find somebody else! 512 00:25:36,834 --> 00:25:38,110 Look, I just want to keep my head down 513 00:25:38,134 --> 00:25:38,935 and get out of here, okay? 514 00:25:38,969 --> 00:25:41,105 You know what, screw you Hollywood. 515 00:25:41,137 --> 00:25:43,307 On second thought, screw me. 516 00:25:43,340 --> 00:25:46,277 Never trust anyone. 517 00:25:46,611 --> 00:25:48,780 I should have known better. 518 00:25:51,214 --> 00:25:53,884 Watch where you're going, Anus. 519 00:26:26,182 --> 00:26:28,051 What are you going to do about it McFatty? 520 00:26:28,085 --> 00:26:31,956 Heh? Hey come on now. 521 00:26:31,989 --> 00:26:33,156 Cry. Show me some tears. 522 00:26:33,190 --> 00:26:34,158 Stop. 523 00:26:34,191 --> 00:26:35,293 Stop what? Come on. 524 00:26:35,326 --> 00:26:37,729 Let him go, asshole. 525 00:26:37,929 --> 00:26:42,166 Well, well, well. Kelvin Anus. 526 00:26:42,199 --> 00:26:45,637 Don't tell me you're all rock paper scissorfied too. 527 00:26:45,670 --> 00:26:47,872 Yo, Anus. I got a rock for ya. 528 00:26:47,904 --> 00:26:49,706 Jordan. What are you doing? 529 00:26:49,740 --> 00:26:52,343 Hey Stacy, Just in time for the show. 530 00:26:52,375 --> 00:26:53,711 Jordan, stop it. 531 00:26:53,743 --> 00:26:56,179 Hey! Is there a problem here? 532 00:26:56,212 --> 00:26:58,883 No. No problem, sir. 533 00:26:58,915 --> 00:27:00,250 See, that's where you're wrong. 534 00:27:00,284 --> 00:27:01,385 Because I got a problem. 535 00:27:01,419 --> 00:27:03,362 It seems some wiseguy thought it might be a good idea 536 00:27:03,386 --> 00:27:05,123 to use his dick as a firehose 537 00:27:05,155 --> 00:27:07,024 and piss all over my bathroom floor. 538 00:27:07,057 --> 00:27:08,200 You wouldn't know nothing about that, 539 00:27:08,224 --> 00:27:09,693 now, would you Davies? 540 00:27:09,727 --> 00:27:13,665 No. Could have been an accident, or a mistake. 541 00:27:13,698 --> 00:27:15,408 But I'll be sure to let you know if I hear anything. 542 00:27:15,432 --> 00:27:16,733 You, dig? 543 00:27:16,767 --> 00:27:18,236 I think that's a good idea. 544 00:27:18,269 --> 00:27:19,737 Because, if it happens again, 545 00:27:19,769 --> 00:27:21,338 I might accidentally mistake your lips 546 00:27:21,372 --> 00:27:24,776 for a toilet seat. You, dig? 547 00:27:26,009 --> 00:27:28,945 You lucked out this time, Anus. 548 00:27:28,979 --> 00:27:30,914 See ya. 549 00:27:39,289 --> 00:27:40,357 Fritz... 550 00:27:40,391 --> 00:27:41,893 I'm fine. 551 00:27:42,893 --> 00:27:44,228 I'm sorry. 552 00:27:59,009 --> 00:28:00,979 Here. 553 00:28:01,278 --> 00:28:03,346 Thanks. 554 00:28:03,380 --> 00:28:04,849 Who's the girl? 555 00:28:04,882 --> 00:28:05,850 Carla Cummings. 556 00:28:05,883 --> 00:28:07,117 Fritz's imaginary girlfriend. 557 00:28:07,151 --> 00:28:09,120 Screw you, Rerun. 558 00:28:09,153 --> 00:28:10,188 She seems nice. 559 00:28:10,221 --> 00:28:12,289 Oh. Great. Well, you know, why don't you call up 560 00:28:12,323 --> 00:28:13,758 Valerie and get a three- way going? 561 00:28:13,790 --> 00:28:14,858 Come on, Fritz. 562 00:28:14,892 --> 00:28:16,794 Forget it. It doesn't even matter. 563 00:28:16,826 --> 00:28:18,405 Look, thanks for your help back there Hollywood, 564 00:28:18,429 --> 00:28:20,331 really, but we got to get to practice. 565 00:28:20,364 --> 00:28:22,467 You're right. We do. 566 00:28:22,500 --> 00:28:24,032 Oh, so now you want to join the team? 567 00:28:24,034 --> 00:28:26,204 If it's cool by you, of course. 568 00:28:28,506 --> 00:28:30,007 Rock on. 569 00:28:30,039 --> 00:28:32,309 Carla Cummings. 570 00:28:38,481 --> 00:28:40,451 Alright, listen up. We don't have a lot of time 571 00:28:40,483 --> 00:28:41,317 to get our shit together 572 00:28:41,352 --> 00:28:44,288 so take your skirts off and sack up. 573 00:28:44,320 --> 00:28:45,966 Regionals are eight weeks away and if we're going to 574 00:28:45,990 --> 00:28:47,501 have a chance of winning it and making it to the 575 00:28:47,525 --> 00:28:48,460 championship, 576 00:28:48,492 --> 00:28:50,427 we're going to have to be quicker, slicker, 577 00:28:50,461 --> 00:28:51,871 trickier than a greased pig ducking gang rape 578 00:28:51,895 --> 00:28:53,297 in the shower. Got it? 579 00:28:53,329 --> 00:28:54,365 I think so. 580 00:28:54,397 --> 00:28:55,365 What? 581 00:28:55,398 --> 00:28:56,800 Yeah. I guess, yeah. 582 00:28:56,834 --> 00:28:59,437 Good. Now, how do we do that? 583 00:28:59,470 --> 00:29:00,438 Well, I was thin- 584 00:29:00,471 --> 00:29:02,839 Shut up, Cheddar. Guys? 585 00:29:02,873 --> 00:29:04,542 We win? 586 00:29:04,575 --> 00:29:06,943 How do we win? 587 00:29:06,977 --> 00:29:08,880 Um... 588 00:29:08,913 --> 00:29:10,948 hard work? 589 00:29:10,980 --> 00:29:12,817 Specific. 590 00:29:12,849 --> 00:29:14,918 What training do we need to do? 591 00:29:14,951 --> 00:29:17,855 Practice. Practice. 592 00:29:17,887 --> 00:29:19,256 What? 593 00:29:19,289 --> 00:29:23,126 Practice, uh, rock, paper, scissors? 594 00:29:23,160 --> 00:29:25,329 Practice rock, I don't know. 595 00:29:25,362 --> 00:29:28,032 You, you're the one giving the speech. 596 00:29:28,898 --> 00:29:30,968 Don't look at me. 597 00:29:31,468 --> 00:29:32,503 What? 598 00:29:32,536 --> 00:29:34,905 Dumbass. 599 00:30:05,269 --> 00:30:06,545 In and out without touching the blade. 600 00:30:06,569 --> 00:30:07,605 Are you sure about this? 601 00:30:07,637 --> 00:30:09,515 It's a training technique I learned about online. 602 00:30:09,539 --> 00:30:11,509 Training for what the Viet Cong? 603 00:30:11,541 --> 00:30:13,577 Trust me. Cheddar. 604 00:30:14,144 --> 00:30:16,247 Ow! 605 00:30:16,279 --> 00:30:18,115 Rerun. 606 00:30:19,215 --> 00:30:21,885 Ah! 607 00:30:30,994 --> 00:30:33,298 - Hey, I got it. - Hey, hey. 608 00:30:36,599 --> 00:30:40,137 Remember, there is no spoon. 609 00:30:44,508 --> 00:30:48,144 Damn, that was fast. How'd you do that? 610 00:30:48,178 --> 00:30:50,448 You want speed? Watch and learn. 611 00:31:11,434 --> 00:31:15,138 Give me the. 612 00:31:15,172 --> 00:31:18,041 Hey! You're going to break it. 613 00:31:19,476 --> 00:31:21,946 - Parting is such sweet sorrow. 614 00:31:22,578 --> 00:31:24,948 - You were killed by Silent Fury. 615 00:31:25,548 --> 00:31:27,317 To be the master of RPS. 616 00:31:27,351 --> 00:31:30,488 RPS. RPS. I'm the genius. 617 00:31:30,820 --> 00:31:32,455 Is this what you're going to do to Carla? 618 00:31:32,489 --> 00:31:37,461 Throw your joystick? In her face, huh? 619 00:31:37,493 --> 00:31:41,197 - Rock. - Rock. - Paper. - Paper - Scissors. - Scissors. 620 00:31:41,230 --> 00:31:42,230 - Yes! Yes! 621 00:31:51,642 --> 00:31:54,445 - Yeah! - Wooh! 622 00:31:59,016 --> 00:32:00,484 Son of a bitch. 623 00:32:00,517 --> 00:32:01,719 Where's Rerun? 624 00:32:01,751 --> 00:32:03,387 - What? - Oh! Shoot! 625 00:32:05,521 --> 00:32:07,325 - Rerun. 626 00:32:08,058 --> 00:32:10,226 Okay, listen up. I know you guys have 627 00:32:10,259 --> 00:32:12,037 been working your asses off, lately. Rerun you 628 00:32:12,061 --> 00:32:14,030 may have suffered a small heart attack. 629 00:32:14,064 --> 00:32:15,374 - We're not sure. - You'll be alright. 630 00:32:15,398 --> 00:32:17,367 But tomorrow you'll see why. 631 00:32:17,401 --> 00:32:19,370 Tomorrow, we take every RPS player in the state 632 00:32:19,403 --> 00:32:21,204 and we pound their asses into submission. 633 00:32:21,238 --> 00:32:23,039 You know what I mean? 634 00:32:23,073 --> 00:32:25,376 Einstein you feeling good? You feeling frosty? 635 00:32:26,643 --> 00:32:30,181 Awesome, I... think. 636 00:32:30,881 --> 00:32:34,285 Okay, everyone go home and get some rest 637 00:32:34,317 --> 00:32:36,319 because tomorrow we shit on everybody, 638 00:32:36,353 --> 00:32:40,124 and I'm all stocked up on laxatives. 639 00:32:41,325 --> 00:32:45,263 What are you doing? Go home. Rest. Go. 640 00:32:45,563 --> 00:32:46,597 Okay. 641 00:32:46,630 --> 00:32:47,999 Rerun you live here. 642 00:32:48,031 --> 00:32:49,332 Oh, sorry. 643 00:32:49,365 --> 00:32:51,268 Dumbass. 644 00:32:51,300 --> 00:32:52,300 Hello? 645 00:33:06,583 --> 00:33:07,752 Kelvin! 646 00:33:07,785 --> 00:33:08,853 Hey! 647 00:33:08,885 --> 00:33:13,557 Hey. Um, I heard that you worked here. 648 00:33:13,589 --> 00:33:16,559 Wow. Word travels fast. 649 00:33:16,593 --> 00:33:20,031 So, um, where you headed? 650 00:33:20,064 --> 00:33:22,298 I'm on my way to my grandparents' house. 651 00:33:22,332 --> 00:33:25,102 My mom and I are staying there until we finding our own place. 652 00:33:25,134 --> 00:33:27,605 Actually, I'm just on the way. 653 00:33:27,637 --> 00:33:29,572 Do you mind if I join you? 654 00:33:29,605 --> 00:33:31,041 Yeah, sure. 655 00:33:31,075 --> 00:33:32,043 Yeah? 656 00:33:32,076 --> 00:33:34,144 Yeah. Alright, let's go. 657 00:33:42,086 --> 00:33:44,755 So, what's it like? 658 00:33:44,788 --> 00:33:46,057 What's what like? 659 00:33:46,089 --> 00:33:49,192 You know, not being from here? 660 00:33:49,226 --> 00:33:52,596 Well, it's different. Not like good 661 00:33:52,628 --> 00:33:55,598 or bad different. Just different. 662 00:33:55,632 --> 00:33:56,600 Yeah, I bet. 663 00:33:56,633 --> 00:33:58,477 No, seriously, a couple months ago I was begging 664 00:33:58,501 --> 00:34:01,238 for the electric chair, but, I don't know. There's 665 00:34:01,270 --> 00:34:05,042 some things about this place I kind of got attached to. 666 00:34:10,313 --> 00:34:13,451 Well, this is me. 667 00:34:14,650 --> 00:34:16,619 Thanks for the walk Kelvin. 668 00:34:16,652 --> 00:34:18,254 Good luck tomorrow, you know, 669 00:34:18,288 --> 00:34:21,157 with your rock, paper, scissors thing. 670 00:34:22,126 --> 00:34:24,628 That it just sounds a little ridiculous, 671 00:34:24,661 --> 00:34:25,829 but thank you. 672 00:34:25,862 --> 00:34:26,830 Goodnight, Kelvin. 673 00:34:26,864 --> 00:34:27,831 Good night. 674 00:34:27,864 --> 00:34:30,100 Parting is such sweet sorrow. 675 00:34:30,134 --> 00:34:31,635 What did you say? 676 00:34:31,668 --> 00:34:33,570 What? 677 00:34:33,804 --> 00:34:38,576 Fury? You're the Silent Fury? 678 00:34:38,608 --> 00:34:40,643 I don't know what you're talking about. 679 00:34:40,677 --> 00:34:44,248 Oh my, Gosh. Parting is such sweet sorrow. 680 00:34:44,280 --> 00:34:45,081 I'm Hellboy. You've been kicking 681 00:34:45,114 --> 00:34:46,649 the shit out of me for two months! 682 00:34:46,682 --> 00:34:48,518 You're not making any sense, Kelvin. 683 00:34:48,552 --> 00:34:49,519 Valerie... 684 00:34:49,552 --> 00:34:52,289 Just leave me alone. 685 00:34:53,356 --> 00:34:55,692 Valerie, wait! 686 00:34:58,695 --> 00:35:02,133 What the hell just happened? 687 00:35:19,815 --> 00:35:21,551 Valerie? 688 00:35:42,606 --> 00:35:44,942 Parting is such sweet sorrow. 689 00:35:55,284 --> 00:35:57,687 Oh! 690 00:36:11,768 --> 00:36:14,938 This is it boys. It all starts here. 691 00:36:14,972 --> 00:36:17,541 I mean look at these guys. I haven't seen this many pussies 692 00:36:17,574 --> 00:36:21,478 since I stopped peeping in the girls' locker room. 693 00:36:21,510 --> 00:36:23,346 What the hell? 694 00:36:23,380 --> 00:36:24,582 What? What is it? 695 00:36:24,614 --> 00:36:26,416 Monk. 696 00:36:26,449 --> 00:36:28,284 That's Monk? What the hell's he doing here? 697 00:36:28,318 --> 00:36:29,520 Not playing, that's for sure. 698 00:36:29,552 --> 00:36:31,588 He qualifies in a different region. 699 00:36:31,621 --> 00:36:33,489 Fuck him. You guys start warming up. 700 00:36:33,523 --> 00:36:36,827 I'll sign us in. It's time to kick some ass. 701 00:36:41,798 --> 00:36:44,235 Rock Paper Scissors. 702 00:38:03,547 --> 00:38:06,784 Need you to klck this guy so hard you make his eyes bleed. 703 00:38:43,686 --> 00:38:47,590 On to the finals, bitches. Let's do this. 704 00:38:47,623 --> 00:38:49,092 It was like bam, bam, bam. 705 00:38:49,126 --> 00:38:49,994 And it was done. 706 00:38:50,027 --> 00:38:50,894 That guy is going to have a concussion 707 00:38:50,927 --> 00:38:53,063 after being slapped around like that. 708 00:38:53,096 --> 00:38:54,764 Alright, alright. Let's just get Einstein 709 00:38:54,797 --> 00:38:56,709 and get this over with quick. I don't want any surprises, 710 00:38:56,733 --> 00:38:57,701 okay? 711 00:38:57,733 --> 00:39:00,371 Oh, man. Well, you're not going to like this. 712 00:39:00,403 --> 00:39:02,706 Son of a bitch. 713 00:39:05,675 --> 00:39:07,443 Einstein, where the hell you going man? 714 00:39:07,476 --> 00:39:09,379 The finals are in fifteen minutes. 715 00:39:09,413 --> 00:39:11,914 Mr. Flaherty, am I right? 716 00:39:11,947 --> 00:39:12,915 You played very well today. 717 00:39:12,949 --> 00:39:15,052 Congratulations on making it to the finals. 718 00:39:15,085 --> 00:39:17,688 Can it Conehead. What are you doing with my player? 719 00:39:17,721 --> 00:39:19,865 Well, if you're referring to Mr. Copeland here then I must 720 00:39:19,889 --> 00:39:23,460 apologize. I met his parents about a month ago. 721 00:39:23,492 --> 00:39:26,764 I learned of his ability and asked his parents 722 00:39:26,797 --> 00:39:30,067 if he'd mind joining my team. Mr. Copeland will be 723 00:39:30,099 --> 00:39:32,969 flying with me this evening to New York 724 00:39:33,003 --> 00:39:36,940 to play in the Manhattan Regionals. 725 00:39:36,972 --> 00:39:39,543 Oh, he didn't, he didn't tell you? 726 00:39:39,576 --> 00:39:41,119 No, of course he didn't fucking tell us. 727 00:39:41,143 --> 00:39:43,813 He can't fucking talk! Look, if he doesn't 728 00:39:43,847 --> 00:39:45,549 go back in there with us right now, 729 00:39:45,581 --> 00:39:46,650 we forfeit the final. 730 00:39:46,682 --> 00:39:49,952 We forfeit the final we don't make the championship. 731 00:39:49,985 --> 00:39:54,424 I'm sorry. But it's late. Good luck. 732 00:40:04,601 --> 00:40:05,836 So what are we going to do? 733 00:40:05,869 --> 00:40:07,971 There's nothing we can do. We're fucked. 734 00:40:08,003 --> 00:40:09,115 There's got to be something else. 735 00:40:09,139 --> 00:40:11,974 There's not, alright? This was it and that it is over. 736 00:40:12,007 --> 00:40:13,586 Fritz there has got to be something we can do. 737 00:40:13,610 --> 00:40:15,913 There's not, alright? 738 00:40:15,945 --> 00:40:17,914 I didn't even want to play this stupid game. 739 00:40:17,947 --> 00:40:19,157 Why are you taking it out on me? 740 00:40:19,181 --> 00:40:20,917 You don't get it, do you? 741 00:40:20,951 --> 00:40:25,489 There is literally no something else', not for me. 742 00:40:25,521 --> 00:40:27,657 As stupid as it sounds, this is the one thing 743 00:40:27,690 --> 00:40:28,991 that I'm actually good at. 744 00:40:29,025 --> 00:40:31,862 Now I'm on Monk's fucking blacklist. 745 00:40:31,894 --> 00:40:34,530 I'll never get another team together. I'm done. 746 00:40:34,563 --> 00:40:36,098 Don't you see? Next year, Cheddar, 747 00:40:36,132 --> 00:40:39,068 you're going to be building spaceships at MIT. 748 00:40:39,101 --> 00:40:42,038 Rerun, you're gonna be directing porn, or some shit. 749 00:40:42,072 --> 00:40:44,807 Kelvin, you're from Hollywood. 750 00:40:44,840 --> 00:40:48,144 That makes you born cooler than I am now. 751 00:40:48,177 --> 00:40:51,547 This was my one chance, one chance to do 752 00:40:51,581 --> 00:40:53,750 something better than someone else. 753 00:40:53,782 --> 00:40:58,054 The girl, the title, the money - it's gone. 754 00:40:58,722 --> 00:41:01,725 All this work and for what? 755 00:41:01,757 --> 00:41:06,730 I got nothing. I got nothing. 756 00:41:06,762 --> 00:41:11,768 Never trust anyone. Fuck, I know better. 757 00:43:37,813 --> 00:43:40,817 Hey. 758 00:43:43,186 --> 00:43:45,822 What is it with this place anyway? 759 00:43:45,855 --> 00:43:47,990 Why can't we just be ourselves. 760 00:43:48,023 --> 00:43:49,226 I don't know. Why can't you? 761 00:43:49,259 --> 00:43:51,228 It's easy for you, isn't it? 762 00:43:51,260 --> 00:43:54,264 Just being yourself, not caring what other people think. 763 00:43:54,297 --> 00:43:57,266 Opinions are overrated. 764 00:43:57,300 --> 00:43:59,736 Really? Even when their your parents'? 765 00:43:59,768 --> 00:44:01,280 Do you know my parents took away my computer 766 00:44:01,304 --> 00:44:03,206 when I was twelve years old? 767 00:44:03,239 --> 00:44:05,208 They said I was becoming a social misfit. 768 00:44:05,240 --> 00:44:06,976 That the internet wasn't for girls 769 00:44:07,010 --> 00:44:09,278 who are pretty and popular. 770 00:44:09,311 --> 00:44:11,313 Like all the friends I made, 771 00:44:11,347 --> 00:44:14,818 all the games I played, like weren't even real. 772 00:44:14,851 --> 00:44:17,421 You know just because my best memories are made up of pixels 773 00:44:17,454 --> 00:44:20,090 rather than skin cells doesn't make them any less real. 774 00:44:20,123 --> 00:44:22,291 So who are they to judge? 775 00:44:22,324 --> 00:44:26,762 Exactly. So, don't let them Fury. 776 00:44:26,795 --> 00:44:31,300 Kelvin, I know you guys lost and I know why. 777 00:44:32,268 --> 00:44:33,036 What? 778 00:44:33,068 --> 00:44:35,371 It was Jordan. I guess, awhile back 779 00:44:35,405 --> 00:44:37,307 he called up some Monk guy and told him about a 780 00:44:37,340 --> 00:44:39,943 player on your team that was unbeatable. 781 00:44:39,976 --> 00:44:41,352 He told him to pull your player just 782 00:44:41,376 --> 00:44:45,315 when it would make you fail to qualify. 783 00:44:45,514 --> 00:44:49,251 Son of a bitch. How do you know this? 784 00:44:49,284 --> 00:44:51,454 He was bragging about it to all of us. 785 00:44:51,487 --> 00:44:54,790 It's just a big joke to him. I'm sorry. 786 00:44:54,824 --> 00:44:57,728 Too bad sorry' can't get us in the tournament. 787 00:44:57,760 --> 00:45:01,264 No, but I may know something that can. 788 00:45:01,297 --> 00:45:03,032 What do you mean? 789 00:45:03,065 --> 00:45:06,502 Let's just say I know my way around cyberspace 790 00:45:06,536 --> 00:45:09,972 and the world wide web knows a lot of loopholes. 791 00:45:10,005 --> 00:45:10,973 What's this? 792 00:45:11,007 --> 00:45:13,275 I'm not exactly sure, but I'm told that if you 793 00:45:13,309 --> 00:45:15,211 really want to get back in that tournament, 794 00:45:15,244 --> 00:45:17,880 the guy at that address is your only chance. 795 00:45:24,320 --> 00:45:26,155 Hey, what are you doing? 796 00:45:26,188 --> 00:45:28,357 Hey, Just getting some of my stuff out of there. 797 00:45:28,391 --> 00:45:29,468 Listen, I got to tell you something. 798 00:45:29,492 --> 00:45:31,403 There's nothing to talk about. Tournament is over. 799 00:45:31,427 --> 00:45:33,063 We lost. Accept it. 800 00:45:33,096 --> 00:45:34,164 You've accepted it? 801 00:45:34,197 --> 00:45:35,965 I don't have much choice now, do I? 802 00:45:35,998 --> 00:45:37,366 Now, what if I told you, you did. 803 00:45:37,400 --> 00:45:39,802 I'm sorry, do you live in Neverland? 804 00:45:39,835 --> 00:45:42,171 Unless you have a freight train to that pixie shit, 805 00:45:42,204 --> 00:45:44,907 any dreams you have of making it to the championship 806 00:45:44,940 --> 00:45:47,042 are going to stay a fucking fairytale. 807 00:45:47,076 --> 00:45:50,079 Well, I don't live in Neverland, but, 808 00:45:50,112 --> 00:45:52,081 I may just have the address. 809 00:46:05,460 --> 00:46:06,562 We got to be getting close. 810 00:46:06,596 --> 00:46:08,565 Woah, woah, wait. There it is. 811 00:46:08,597 --> 00:46:10,099 Alright, stop the car. 812 00:46:10,132 --> 00:46:12,168 Stop. Stop. Stop. 813 00:46:15,905 --> 00:46:19,209 I can't believe you guys talked me into this. 814 00:46:19,242 --> 00:46:21,144 This car is my dad's pride and joy. 815 00:46:21,177 --> 00:46:23,346 Relax, Cheddar. Nothing's going to happen. 816 00:46:23,378 --> 00:46:24,490 You watch the news too much. 817 00:46:24,514 --> 00:46:26,916 Oh, tell me, how does hearing something on the news 818 00:46:26,949 --> 00:46:28,851 make it more likely for it to happen to me? 819 00:46:28,885 --> 00:46:30,028 Alright, come on. Let's just go. 820 00:46:30,052 --> 00:46:31,821 No way. There's no way we're parking here. 821 00:46:31,855 --> 00:46:32,623 Come on, Cheddar. 822 00:46:32,655 --> 00:46:35,391 Stay in the car. Okay? Just stay. 823 00:46:41,396 --> 00:46:44,300 Man, is he paranoid. 824 00:46:55,277 --> 00:46:59,281 We better not be wasting our time. What the fuck? 825 00:46:59,315 --> 00:47:00,450 Fucking hell gramps. 826 00:47:00,483 --> 00:47:03,620 Put that goddamn gun down. 827 00:47:03,652 --> 00:47:05,955 Sorry boys. You never know when you might 828 00:47:05,989 --> 00:47:08,391 meet a stray negro running around. 829 00:47:08,423 --> 00:47:10,192 Get Cheddar the fuck out of here. 830 00:47:10,226 --> 00:47:11,595 What do you Nancies want? 831 00:47:11,628 --> 00:47:13,096 A diaper for starters and 832 00:47:13,128 --> 00:47:16,298 maybe a copy of the emancipation proclamation! 833 00:47:16,331 --> 00:47:19,268 No, shit, my gramp is a bit of a racist fuck. 834 00:47:19,302 --> 00:47:21,471 You're blowing my fucking mind right now. 835 00:47:21,503 --> 00:47:23,472 Wait, wait, wait, wait. 836 00:47:23,505 --> 00:47:27,911 We were told you might be able to help us with this. 837 00:47:31,914 --> 00:47:34,918 Talk. 838 00:47:35,751 --> 00:47:37,954 So can you get us in or not? 839 00:47:37,987 --> 00:47:41,291 Let's say I can. Why should I? 840 00:47:41,324 --> 00:47:43,026 Pay back some of the morality debt. 841 00:47:43,059 --> 00:47:44,894 Grandpa Klan up there's racked up. 842 00:47:44,927 --> 00:47:45,728 Is he always that funny? 843 00:47:45,762 --> 00:47:47,631 You always speak with that accent? 844 00:47:47,664 --> 00:47:51,268 What accent? You guys any good? 845 00:47:51,300 --> 00:47:54,170 Regional finals until Monk screwed us over. 846 00:47:54,202 --> 00:47:54,971 Monk? 847 00:47:55,003 --> 00:47:59,175 Yeah, Monk. Took our best player. 848 00:48:00,143 --> 00:48:04,179 Alright. I'll help you get in on one condition. 849 00:48:04,213 --> 00:48:05,315 I play on your team. 850 00:48:05,347 --> 00:48:06,516 No. 851 00:48:06,548 --> 00:48:09,552 C'mon Fritz. We need a fifth player anyway. 852 00:48:09,985 --> 00:48:10,753 Can you play? 853 00:48:10,786 --> 00:48:12,321 You just worry about yourselves. 854 00:48:12,355 --> 00:48:14,990 Alright, hotshot, let's say you're in. 855 00:48:15,023 --> 00:48:16,558 How do we get into the tournament? 856 00:48:16,592 --> 00:48:19,996 We get an invitation from the commissioner. 857 00:48:20,028 --> 00:48:20,829 Why didn't I think of that? 858 00:48:20,862 --> 00:48:22,565 You know, let's call him right now. 859 00:48:22,597 --> 00:48:24,166 Hey, Commish, how's it hanging? 860 00:48:24,199 --> 00:48:26,502 Can we get an invite to the league championship? 861 00:48:26,536 --> 00:48:28,079 - What did he say? - Oh yeah, good call. 862 00:48:28,103 --> 00:48:29,115 He's going to get right on that. 863 00:48:29,139 --> 00:48:31,074 - Didn't say we ask for it. - So, what do we do? 864 00:48:31,106 --> 00:48:31,875 We win it. 865 00:48:31,907 --> 00:48:35,144 Uh, newsflash, regionals are over. 866 00:48:35,177 --> 00:48:36,655 Kind of why we're here in the first place. 867 00:48:36,679 --> 00:48:38,949 Come on, Hollywood, we're wasting our time. 868 00:48:38,981 --> 00:48:41,550 We win it at the URL. 869 00:48:41,583 --> 00:48:42,652 What'd you say? 870 00:48:42,684 --> 00:48:46,389 You heard me. We win it at the URL. 871 00:48:46,422 --> 00:48:48,358 Fritz, what's a URL? 872 00:48:48,391 --> 00:48:50,626 A figment of his imagination. That's what it is. 873 00:48:50,659 --> 00:48:52,494 You sure about that? 874 00:48:52,527 --> 00:48:54,496 Yeah. 875 00:48:54,530 --> 00:48:56,666 Well, I've got five broken bones and 876 00:48:56,699 --> 00:48:59,302 three skin grafts to suggest otherwise. 877 00:48:59,335 --> 00:49:04,206 Wait a second, I know who you are. You're Logan Carter. 878 00:49:06,675 --> 00:49:11,181 What the fuck is a URL? What? 879 00:49:15,751 --> 00:49:17,387 Underground RPS League. 880 00:49:17,420 --> 00:49:19,264 They supposedly ran a no-holds-barred tournament 881 00:49:19,288 --> 00:49:22,492 unsanctioned by Rock Paper Scissors Association of America. 882 00:49:22,525 --> 00:49:23,994 I just thought it was a myth. 883 00:49:24,027 --> 00:49:25,662 It's no myth. The RPS commissioner 884 00:49:25,695 --> 00:49:27,664 has a hard on for full contact. 885 00:49:27,697 --> 00:49:28,999 He can't sanction the league 886 00:49:29,032 --> 00:49:29,967 but doesn't mean he can't extend 887 00:49:30,000 --> 00:49:32,001 an invitation to the winners under the table. 888 00:49:32,034 --> 00:49:33,079 Fritz, how do you know this guy? 889 00:49:33,103 --> 00:49:35,014 Logan Carter was an up and comer in then RPS ranks. 890 00:49:35,038 --> 00:49:36,338 Had a lot of potential. 891 00:49:36,371 --> 00:49:38,340 I heard Monk tried to recruit him. 892 00:49:38,373 --> 00:49:41,043 Recruit me? That's a joke. 893 00:49:41,077 --> 00:49:43,546 First thing he did was send me into the URL. 894 00:49:43,579 --> 00:49:46,016 Said I needed to toughen up. 895 00:49:46,048 --> 00:49:48,351 That's one hell of a way to cut your teeth. 896 00:49:48,384 --> 00:49:49,619 Always knew he was scared. 897 00:49:49,652 --> 00:49:51,086 Scared of what? 898 00:49:51,119 --> 00:49:52,054 Of me. 899 00:49:52,088 --> 00:49:53,765 Now you're delusional. Monk wouldn't be afraid 900 00:49:53,789 --> 00:49:55,557 of some punk beating him. 901 00:49:55,590 --> 00:49:57,594 What if that punk already had? 902 00:49:57,626 --> 00:49:58,704 So what the hell happened to you? 903 00:49:58,728 --> 00:50:02,164 URL happened to me. End of story. 904 00:50:02,197 --> 00:50:06,402 Good evening, good man. We're here to see Link. 905 00:50:06,436 --> 00:50:08,071 Links not here. 906 00:50:08,103 --> 00:50:11,173 Really? Okay, he said that he'd be here. 907 00:50:11,206 --> 00:50:15,545 He asked me to give him this rock. 908 00:50:25,621 --> 00:50:27,456 Dude, where the hell are we going? 909 00:50:27,489 --> 00:50:28,657 You'll see. 910 00:50:28,690 --> 00:50:31,460 Um, this might be a stupid question, but what would have 911 00:50:31,494 --> 00:50:33,463 happened If you were throwing paper? 912 00:50:33,496 --> 00:50:35,699 If you can't beat him? You shouldn't be here. 913 00:51:22,210 --> 00:51:23,445 Hey! 914 00:51:23,478 --> 00:51:25,447 Logan Carter. 915 00:51:25,481 --> 00:51:27,617 Hello Link. It's been a long time. 916 00:51:27,650 --> 00:51:30,452 Not long enough. I thought I was clear. 917 00:51:30,485 --> 00:51:33,123 I wasn't to see your face around here anymore. 918 00:51:33,155 --> 00:51:35,358 Well, I'm sure that's cause last time I seen my face it 919 00:51:35,391 --> 00:51:37,626 was pretty fucked up. 920 00:51:37,659 --> 00:51:39,528 My surgeon, 921 00:51:39,561 --> 00:51:42,531 you should give him, a call. I'll make this 922 00:51:42,565 --> 00:51:45,367 short Link. I need a ticket to the big dance. 923 00:51:45,400 --> 00:51:46,802 I need you to give it to me. 924 00:51:46,835 --> 00:51:48,670 And why would I do that? 925 00:51:48,704 --> 00:51:51,474 Because I know it eats you up inside knowing that besides. 926 00:51:51,507 --> 00:51:56,146 Monk - I am the one person you can't beat. 927 00:51:56,179 --> 00:51:58,615 So, I'm giving you the chance to reconcile. 928 00:51:58,648 --> 00:52:01,784 And what do you propose? 929 00:52:01,817 --> 00:52:03,286 Five on five. 930 00:52:03,318 --> 00:52:05,889 Each player throws once, first team to three. 931 00:52:05,922 --> 00:52:09,159 We win, you give us the invitation. 932 00:52:09,192 --> 00:52:10,760 And when you lose? 933 00:52:10,793 --> 00:52:13,363 You give us to the dogs. 934 00:52:16,532 --> 00:52:19,434 I'm gonna fuck you up. 935 00:52:19,467 --> 00:52:22,571 Sorry, Link, you're just not my type. 936 00:52:22,605 --> 00:52:25,876 Five minutes. 937 00:52:28,643 --> 00:52:33,248 Give us to the dogs? That's the best you could come up with? 938 00:52:33,282 --> 00:52:37,253 Not do your laundry for a month or maintain the impeccable 939 00:52:37,286 --> 00:52:40,722 quality of this fine establishment. No Logan. 940 00:52:40,755 --> 00:52:44,326 What you do if you lose? Let me think about that. 941 00:52:44,360 --> 00:52:46,963 I know how about feeding us to the fucking dogs! 942 00:52:46,996 --> 00:52:49,731 He wouldn't have gone for it otherwise! 943 00:52:49,764 --> 00:52:53,502 Relax. I've got a plan. 944 00:52:55,771 --> 00:52:57,340 Alright, girls, listen up. 945 00:52:57,373 --> 00:52:59,213 Judging by the way your asses are all puckered, 946 00:52:59,242 --> 00:53:01,277 I assume that you're scared shitless. 947 00:53:01,309 --> 00:53:03,346 I think that would be a fair assessment. 948 00:53:03,378 --> 00:53:04,746 Oh, you do, do you? 949 00:53:04,780 --> 00:53:06,749 You know what else would be a fair assessment? 950 00:53:06,782 --> 00:53:08,293 Your new nickname is going to be Puppy Chow 951 00:53:08,317 --> 00:53:09,885 if you don't stop interrupting me. 952 00:53:09,918 --> 00:53:11,653 Please don't hurt me. 953 00:53:11,686 --> 00:53:14,824 Alright, as I was saying, contrary to what you probably 954 00:53:14,856 --> 00:53:18,628 heard, RPS is not a game mastered by chance, habits 955 00:53:18,661 --> 00:53:21,563 or tricks, but by fear. 956 00:53:21,597 --> 00:53:23,333 You think Monk goes around memorizing 957 00:53:23,365 --> 00:53:24,967 every little thing everyone does? 958 00:53:25,001 --> 00:53:26,878 Shaves his head, dresses like a ninja and acts like 959 00:53:26,902 --> 00:53:29,371 a fucking ghost because it gets him laid? 960 00:53:29,405 --> 00:53:32,575 Fuck no. He does it to control the fear. 961 00:53:32,608 --> 00:53:36,246 If he controls the fear. He controls you. 962 00:53:36,278 --> 00:53:37,480 Are you getting any of this? 963 00:53:37,512 --> 00:53:38,648 - No. 964 00:53:38,681 --> 00:53:39,791 You watch your heartbeat right now? 965 00:53:39,815 --> 00:53:40,648 What? 966 00:53:40,682 --> 00:53:42,451 152 beats per minute, what's yours? 967 00:53:42,485 --> 00:53:43,452 I don't know. 968 00:53:43,485 --> 00:53:44,453 164. 969 00:53:44,487 --> 00:53:45,355 How do you know that? 970 00:53:45,387 --> 00:53:47,523 I can see it, cause you're all afraid. 971 00:53:47,556 --> 00:53:48,858 Hey, it's time. 972 00:53:48,891 --> 00:53:52,394 Look, it's really simple. A steady heartbeat means 973 00:53:52,427 --> 00:53:53,596 there's nothing left to do. 974 00:53:53,628 --> 00:53:55,731 So you're throwing rock. If your pulse pulses 975 00:53:55,764 --> 00:53:58,701 just before the moment of impact, you're unsure 976 00:53:58,733 --> 00:54:01,336 and most likely throwing paper. 977 00:54:01,369 --> 00:54:03,739 Now, if your pulse spikes, you're being aggressive 978 00:54:03,773 --> 00:54:05,807 and throwing scissors. But I wouldn't know any of 979 00:54:05,840 --> 00:54:08,677 this if I can't see your pulse. Your neck 980 00:54:09,045 --> 00:54:13,682 your wrist, your hand. They all, give you a way. So calm 981 00:54:14,150 --> 00:54:17,552 the fuck down. What do you think the dogs are for? 982 00:54:17,585 --> 00:54:19,354 The dogs are working. 983 00:54:19,387 --> 00:54:21,891 What you're saying is, not only can you see our heart rate 984 00:54:21,923 --> 00:54:24,494 but what we're going to throw because of it? 985 00:54:24,527 --> 00:54:25,961 Now Carter! 986 00:54:25,994 --> 00:54:28,030 So any questions before we start? 987 00:54:28,063 --> 00:54:31,867 Um yeah, if we shit our pants do we get disqualified? 988 00:54:31,900 --> 00:54:36,905 No. I think you're good. Anything else? Good come here. 989 00:54:37,873 --> 00:54:40,510 Try not to screw this up. 990 00:54:55,458 --> 00:54:57,293 Whoo! 991 00:54:57,992 --> 00:54:59,795 You, get in. 992 00:55:07,603 --> 00:55:08,603 Yes! 993 00:55:11,239 --> 00:55:14,009 You got to be fucking kidding me. 994 00:55:15,677 --> 00:55:17,646 Yes! 995 00:55:21,916 --> 00:55:23,752 Go. 996 00:55:33,461 --> 00:55:34,931 Yes! 997 00:55:45,074 --> 00:55:49,979 This envelope. Your precious little invitation. 998 00:55:50,012 --> 00:55:52,615 But that's as close as you're going to get to it. 999 00:55:52,648 --> 00:55:54,016 I'm scared. 1000 00:55:54,048 --> 00:55:56,018 Any last requests? 1001 00:55:56,050 --> 00:55:58,855 Yeah. Try not to whine like a little bitch 1002 00:55:58,887 --> 00:56:02,659 after I finish slapping the shit out of you. 1003 00:56:15,971 --> 00:56:20,476 Better luck next time, Link. 1004 00:56:34,523 --> 00:56:39,695 Oh, Holy crap that was the craziest thing I've ever seen. 1005 00:56:39,728 --> 00:56:41,831 Guys, did you realize what just happened? 1006 00:56:41,864 --> 00:56:44,099 Uh, yeah we almost got killed. 1007 00:56:45,166 --> 00:56:46,201 Man, what a rush! 1008 00:56:46,235 --> 00:56:47,979 Logan what you did back there? That was awesome! 1009 00:56:48,003 --> 00:56:49,079 - That was great. - Yeah, yeah. 1010 00:56:49,103 --> 00:56:51,573 Thank me when we're walking away with Monk's trophy. 1011 00:56:51,606 --> 00:56:52,541 Oh seriously. 1012 00:56:52,574 --> 00:56:54,119 No doubt. But come on. We got to do something. 1013 00:56:54,143 --> 00:56:55,577 We got to celebrate! 1014 00:56:55,610 --> 00:56:56,778 Yes!, yes! 1015 00:56:56,811 --> 00:56:58,681 I'm down what'd you have in mind? 1016 00:57:07,755 --> 00:57:12,127 Hey guys, me again. Tonight's episode is one near and dear 1017 00:57:12,161 --> 00:57:15,197 to my heart. This shows for all you out there who's 1018 00:57:15,231 --> 00:57:17,700 ever been picked on, stepped on slapped around, or been 1019 00:57:17,733 --> 00:57:18,934 gang banged. 1020 00:57:18,967 --> 00:57:21,837 Tonight I want you to stand proud, raise up your flaccid, 1021 00:57:21,871 --> 00:57:24,539 misused middle finger and give a Fuck You to all those 1022 00:57:24,572 --> 00:57:25,841 assholes of the world. 1023 00:57:25,875 --> 00:57:29,010 DareYouToPissOn proudly presents, Bully Me This. 1024 00:57:29,043 --> 00:57:32,781 Come on. Hand me the thing. Hurry up. 1025 00:57:33,181 --> 00:57:34,783 I hope you're right about this. 1026 00:57:34,817 --> 00:57:39,621 When are you boys, ever going to learn? 1027 00:57:41,623 --> 00:57:43,225 There you go. 1028 00:57:43,492 --> 00:57:45,862 Tonight's forecast, ladies and gentlemen 1029 00:57:45,894 --> 00:57:49,798 a hundred percent chance of rain. 1030 00:57:49,831 --> 00:57:51,833 Hollywood here I come. 1031 00:57:51,867 --> 00:57:53,669 Academy Awards baby. 1032 00:57:55,804 --> 00:57:57,507 Come on we got to go. We got to go. 1033 00:57:57,539 --> 00:57:58,942 Got ya. 1034 00:58:08,751 --> 00:58:11,888 Don't worry, I know the dude behind the bar. It's fine. 1035 00:58:11,920 --> 00:58:13,889 This is cool, dude. 1036 00:58:16,858 --> 00:58:18,927 So, tell me, mate, who are these fuckers? 1037 00:58:18,960 --> 00:58:21,063 My team. 1038 00:58:21,931 --> 00:58:24,166 Gee, sorry mate. 1039 00:58:24,199 --> 00:58:26,235 Hey, what's with the accent? 1040 00:58:26,268 --> 00:58:27,268 What accent? 1041 00:58:28,204 --> 00:58:30,606 Guys, is it bad that I feel absolutely no 1042 00:58:30,639 --> 00:58:31,916 remorse for what we did to Jordan? 1043 00:58:31,940 --> 00:58:34,309 Hell no. Let him soak in it. 1044 00:58:34,342 --> 00:58:35,342 Loser. 1045 00:58:37,880 --> 00:58:39,256 Hey, Cheddar, if we win what are you going 1046 00:58:39,280 --> 00:58:40,849 to do with your half of the money? 1047 00:58:40,882 --> 00:58:43,685 School. My scholarships won't last forever. 1048 00:58:43,719 --> 00:58:46,021 Tug, get them some milk and cookies. 1049 00:58:46,054 --> 00:58:47,623 I'll have what he's having. 1050 00:58:47,655 --> 00:58:48,824 No. Milk and cookies. 1051 00:58:48,856 --> 00:58:50,101 I'm twenty-one and over, it's cool, right. 1052 00:58:50,125 --> 00:58:51,893 Milk and cookies. 1053 00:58:51,927 --> 00:58:54,262 Whatever, Rerun what about you? Film, School? 1054 00:58:54,295 --> 00:58:56,031 Fifty K? Hmm, let me think about this. 1055 00:58:56,065 --> 00:58:58,768 Pay someone to show me how to make some lame movies 1056 00:58:58,800 --> 00:59:01,170 or fund one my own. No way man. 1057 00:59:01,202 --> 00:59:03,122 This cat's Kevin Smithing his career all the way. 1058 00:59:04,273 --> 00:59:05,641 What about you Fritzy? 1059 00:59:05,673 --> 00:59:07,208 Amsterdam. I think 1060 00:59:07,242 --> 00:59:10,179 I got a shot at getting laid in Amsterdam. 1061 00:59:10,211 --> 00:59:11,179 What? 1062 00:59:11,213 --> 00:59:12,381 What about you, Hollywood? 1063 00:59:12,414 --> 00:59:14,850 I think I give it to my mom. She's really helping me out. 1064 00:59:14,882 --> 00:59:16,117 And I would- 1065 00:59:16,150 --> 00:59:19,654 - What? - Mama's boy. 1066 00:59:19,688 --> 00:59:22,057 Get out of here. Get out of here. 1067 00:59:22,090 --> 00:59:24,659 You guys are whack. What about you, Logan? 1068 00:59:24,693 --> 00:59:28,197 I don't know. I guess I'd finally use half of it 1069 00:59:28,230 --> 00:59:30,733 to move out my grandfather's house and give the 1070 00:59:30,766 --> 00:59:32,902 other half to the United Negro College Fund. 1071 00:59:34,335 --> 00:59:35,303 Are you serious? 1072 00:59:35,336 --> 00:59:37,206 What? 1073 00:59:37,239 --> 00:59:40,108 United Negro College Fund. 1074 00:59:41,175 --> 00:59:43,913 Stop eating all the. Cookies. 1075 00:59:43,945 --> 00:59:45,914 You are crazy. 1076 01:00:14,876 --> 01:00:17,913 Nice Giraffe, Anus. 1077 01:00:39,835 --> 01:00:41,871 What time do you call this? You're late. 1078 01:00:41,903 --> 01:00:42,905 What? 1079 01:00:42,938 --> 01:00:44,073 We got to go. Come on. 1080 01:00:44,106 --> 01:00:46,042 Shut up. 1081 01:00:53,916 --> 01:00:56,018 Alright, throw that. Throw that back there. 1082 01:00:56,050 --> 01:00:57,119 Hey you. 1083 01:00:57,152 --> 01:00:58,753 Valerie, hey. 1084 01:00:58,786 --> 01:01:00,088 So, you're off, huh? 1085 01:01:00,121 --> 01:01:01,824 Yeah, we're on our way. 1086 01:01:01,856 --> 01:01:04,759 Well, I though I'd come by to wish you. Good luck. 1087 01:01:04,793 --> 01:01:06,829 Thanks, you know, we wouldn't even be here if it 1088 01:01:06,862 --> 01:01:09,065 wasn't for you being you. 1089 01:01:09,097 --> 01:01:10,398 Hey, Anus! 1090 01:01:10,431 --> 01:01:13,101 Uh. Uh. 1091 01:01:13,135 --> 01:01:15,037 Hey, you better wrap this up quick. 1092 01:01:15,070 --> 01:01:16,914 Look I go, but you think when I get back we could 1093 01:01:16,938 --> 01:01:17,940 pick this up right here? 1094 01:01:17,972 --> 01:01:19,307 Sure, I'd like that. 1095 01:01:19,340 --> 01:01:22,043 Okay. I'm sorry. I got to go. Sorry. Sorry. 1096 01:01:22,077 --> 01:01:23,279 I'm going to kill you. 1097 01:01:23,311 --> 01:01:24,279 Oy! 1098 01:01:24,313 --> 01:01:25,314 Ow! 1099 01:01:25,347 --> 01:01:27,416 Oy! What the fuck you doing? 1100 01:01:27,449 --> 01:01:28,818 Oh shit. 1101 01:01:28,851 --> 01:01:31,086 Fucking pussy. Come on! 1102 01:01:31,119 --> 01:01:34,456 Yeah! Run Davies, you little bitch! 1103 01:01:42,764 --> 01:01:44,799 Good morning sports fans and 1104 01:01:44,833 --> 01:01:46,144 welcome to the home of the 15th Annual. 1105 01:01:46,168 --> 01:01:49,070 Rock, Paper, Scissors World, Championship. 1106 01:01:49,103 --> 01:01:51,873 Over the next two days almost 300 players from around 1107 01:01:51,907 --> 01:01:55,144 the country and around the world will face off 1108 01:01:55,177 --> 01:01:57,480 in a sports showdown that is sure to shake the earth from 1109 01:01:57,512 --> 01:02:02,284 the lights of Los Angeles to the frost of Bangor, Maine. 1110 01:02:02,317 --> 01:02:06,355 Today 64 teams will face off in a grueling test of mental 1111 01:02:06,387 --> 01:02:10,291 toughness and physical stamina as they try to stay alive 1112 01:02:10,324 --> 01:02:13,294 and make it into tomorrow's semi -final match. 1113 01:02:13,327 --> 01:02:17,166 Now, the rules are simple. Each team must win three 1114 01:02:17,199 --> 01:02:20,469 of five sets to win the match and move on to the next 1115 01:02:20,501 --> 01:02:24,507 round. Now without further ado, let's throw it over to. 1116 01:02:24,539 --> 01:02:27,842 Jelly Kane and meet some of our contestants Jelly. 1117 01:02:27,876 --> 01:02:31,380 Thank you Case. Well strap on tight sports fans because 1118 01:02:31,413 --> 01:02:34,150 in just a few days we're all going to have the pleasure 1119 01:02:34,182 --> 01:02:38,320 of watching someone do this for a quarter of a million dollars. 1120 01:02:38,353 --> 01:02:42,324 Strap in Jelly, right? Strap in tight? 1121 01:02:42,356 --> 01:02:46,394 Strap in right. Who will it be well for starters let's meet 1122 01:02:46,427 --> 01:02:48,096 some of our contestants. 1123 01:02:48,130 --> 01:02:49,832 Hi, I'm dolly of the paper dolls 1124 01:02:49,864 --> 01:02:53,368 and I play rock-paper-scissors because it gets me hot. 1125 01:02:54,402 --> 01:02:59,107 I'm Dread of Team Nemesis. 1126 01:02:59,141 --> 01:03:02,110 And what's your name sir? 1127 01:03:04,012 --> 01:03:06,423 We're Katey and Karey-from Team Gemini andy we bring double the 1128 01:03:06,447 --> 01:03:07,817 trouble. 1129 01:03:07,849 --> 01:03:10,286 Your name sir? 1130 01:03:11,586 --> 01:03:13,956 Private Pryde here with the Mighty Privates. 1131 01:03:13,989 --> 01:03:15,523 Let me tell you something. Victory, 1132 01:03:15,556 --> 01:03:16,657 It belong to us. 1133 01:03:16,692 --> 01:03:20,028 My friends call me Bones and the reason I play Rock Paper. 1134 01:03:20,061 --> 01:03:21,539 Scissors is because it's safer than flying 1135 01:03:21,563 --> 01:03:24,500 headfirst into a blackhole. 1136 01:03:24,932 --> 01:03:28,403 - Rock-paper-scissors. Boom 1137 01:03:28,436 --> 01:03:29,971 Casey, I'm not sure 1138 01:03:30,005 --> 01:03:33,509 which team he's with no. No, but, uh, could you 1139 01:03:33,541 --> 01:03:36,511 send some soap down this way, please. 1140 01:03:36,545 --> 01:03:38,614 I'm Scissorella from Team Sonic Doom and 1141 01:03:38,646 --> 01:03:42,384 I'm going to skate over the competition. 1142 01:03:42,416 --> 01:03:45,453 And of course, as always we've got Team Nemesis, led by their 1143 01:03:45,487 --> 01:03:49,925 8 time MVP, The Monk, and newcomers this year, 1144 01:03:49,958 --> 01:03:53,028 The Butt Fuckers. 1145 01:03:53,429 --> 01:03:57,566 The BuckFutters, sorry. Uh, back to you, Casey. 1146 01:03:57,599 --> 01:04:00,936 Uh, thank you, Jelly, and, uh, that's a reminder 1147 01:04:00,969 --> 01:04:04,139 to all you kids out there stay in school. 1148 01:04:07,608 --> 01:04:09,478 Nice Unies, Ched. That's pretty catchy. 1149 01:04:09,510 --> 01:04:14,449 Mr. Flaherty, so nice of you to join us. 1150 01:04:15,250 --> 01:04:19,420 I'm glad our earlier altercation, did not bear you 1151 01:04:19,454 --> 01:04:21,957 any unnecessary misfortune. 1152 01:04:21,989 --> 01:04:23,958 You kiss your mother with that mouth, Monk? 1153 01:04:23,992 --> 01:04:27,129 I heard that the best rock thrower in the 1154 01:04:27,161 --> 01:04:31,500 world was here. All that wankings paid off. 1155 01:04:31,532 --> 01:04:35,971 Logan. Link told me you were looking for a team 1156 01:04:36,003 --> 01:04:40,208 I told him there wasn't anyone stupid enough to take you in. 1157 01:04:40,242 --> 01:04:43,278 Apparently, I was wrong. 1158 01:04:43,311 --> 01:04:47,148 Apparently, you were, and if you get in my way 1159 01:04:47,181 --> 01:04:50,985 again you hairless fuck. I'm going to drag you to a bridge, 1160 01:04:51,018 --> 01:04:54,122 slit you from here to here, and use your intestines as a 1161 01:04:54,155 --> 01:04:56,090 bungee cord. 1162 01:04:56,123 --> 01:05:01,129 How poetic. Nemesis, meditate. 1163 01:05:08,170 --> 01:05:11,173 Come on. We've got a game to play. 1164 01:05:13,507 --> 01:05:16,477 ButtFuckers? I'm not wearing this. 1165 01:05:16,510 --> 01:05:19,547 Ladies and Gentleman, not since the Trojan War have I 1166 01:05:19,581 --> 01:05:22,418 seen so many fierce competitors assembled on one 1167 01:05:22,451 --> 01:05:25,320 single Battlefield. And if you like epic battles, 1168 01:05:25,353 --> 01:05:28,256 then stay tuned sports fans because this war 1169 01:05:28,289 --> 01:05:31,326 will be one for the ages. And now, for 1170 01:05:31,360 --> 01:05:33,437 the start of the tournament, let's throw it downstairs 1171 01:05:33,461 --> 01:05:36,532 to the game floor, where the 50th annual rock-paper-scissors 1172 01:05:36,565 --> 01:05:39,534 tournament is about to begin. 1173 01:06:48,836 --> 01:06:51,340 Like walking into a massage parlor for the first time, 1174 01:06:51,373 --> 01:06:54,777 you never know what's going to happen. 1175 01:06:54,809 --> 01:06:57,712 Ladies Report to the dance floor. 1176 01:07:10,391 --> 01:07:11,592 One, two, three. 1177 01:07:11,626 --> 01:07:14,363 BUCKFUTTERS! 1178 01:07:17,431 --> 01:07:21,169 And Monk goes with a sharp scissors to take the lead! 1179 01:07:27,876 --> 01:07:31,247 Ooh, what a nice paper that was. Looked like Foolscap. 1180 01:07:43,190 --> 01:07:44,625 Get a tetanus shot! 1181 01:07:44,659 --> 01:07:47,296 He was cut down by those scissors. 1182 01:08:08,849 --> 01:08:11,652 After one of the most grueling first rounds, this announcer 1183 01:08:11,686 --> 01:08:14,722 has witnessed in many a year inundated with bone crushing 1184 01:08:14,755 --> 01:08:18,659 rocks, slashing scissors, slicing paper, we're set 1185 01:08:18,693 --> 01:08:21,329 to kick off the second round. 1186 01:08:30,704 --> 01:08:34,342 These guys are sweating like Mike Tyson at a spelling bee. 1187 01:08:38,747 --> 01:08:41,550 This RPS tournament is brought to you by Toxic- 1188 01:08:41,582 --> 01:08:44,586 what doesn't kill you, makes you stronger. 1189 01:09:01,737 --> 01:09:03,704 Dude, you got to stop drinking that dude. 1190 01:09:03,738 --> 01:09:04,673 You don't look so good. 1191 01:09:04,706 --> 01:09:08,444 Hey, be careful. That's Link's brother, Fence. 1192 01:09:12,413 --> 01:09:15,884 Fence? What's his mom's name, Chain? 1193 01:09:18,353 --> 01:09:22,358 Players ready? Engage! 1194 01:09:23,591 --> 01:09:26,929 Oh! That is absolutely disgusting. 1195 01:09:39,774 --> 01:09:43,479 1, 2, 3 BuckFutters! 1196 01:10:00,962 --> 01:10:03,632 Engage. 1197 01:10:10,904 --> 01:10:14,442 Great Caesar's ghost, what determination! 1198 01:10:45,673 --> 01:10:49,345 Nice rock, man it takes a lot of rocks to do it. 1199 01:11:04,958 --> 01:11:06,929 Engage. 1200 01:11:07,529 --> 01:11:09,498 Winner! 1201 01:11:09,530 --> 01:11:10,832 Yes! Huddle up, huddle up. 1202 01:11:10,864 --> 01:11:12,833 So it's come down to this, ladies and gentlemen. 1203 01:11:12,867 --> 01:11:16,305 Three teams are already in and the BuckFutters 1204 01:11:16,337 --> 01:11:19,041 are one set away from joining them in tomorrows 1205 01:11:19,073 --> 01:11:22,710 semi-final match Jelly, what do you have for us? 1206 01:11:22,743 --> 01:11:26,447 Thank you Casey. Well, Three teams are already in 1207 01:11:26,480 --> 01:11:29,751 and the BuckFutters are a set away from joining them 1208 01:11:29,783 --> 01:11:32,386 in tomorrow's semifinal match. 1209 01:11:32,420 --> 01:11:34,722 All right, Jelly, thank you very much. 1210 01:11:34,756 --> 01:11:36,557 I might've already mentioned that anything 1211 01:11:36,591 --> 01:11:39,728 else you'd like to add? 1212 01:11:39,761 --> 01:11:44,767 Uh, Thank you Case the fate of this inexperienced team 1213 01:11:45,567 --> 01:11:49,404 and offensive juggernaut lies in the 1214 01:11:49,436 --> 01:11:53,442 hands of rookie sensation, Kelvin Hollywood Anus. 1215 01:11:54,775 --> 01:11:58,780 Anoose? Anoose. It's fucking hot down here. 1216 01:12:02,917 --> 01:12:05,887 Okay. Jelly. Thank you very much and good 1217 01:12:05,920 --> 01:12:08,056 luck with the unemployment line. 1218 01:12:08,088 --> 01:12:10,425 Okay Hollywood, just finish this guy up and get us 1219 01:12:10,457 --> 01:12:14,462 out of here. You got this? 1220 01:12:15,262 --> 01:12:17,798 He looks tired. I got this. I got it. 1221 01:12:17,832 --> 01:12:21,837 Get him! Come on Hollywood! Finish him. 1222 01:12:22,636 --> 01:12:25,440 Players ready? 1223 01:12:27,809 --> 01:12:29,911 Look at these titans stare each other down. 1224 01:12:29,944 --> 01:12:33,914 I've never seen anything like it. 1225 01:12:33,948 --> 01:12:35,717 Engage. 1226 01:12:35,750 --> 01:12:36,752 Winner. 1227 01:12:36,784 --> 01:12:38,420 Engage. 1228 01:12:38,453 --> 01:12:39,421 Tie. 1229 01:12:39,453 --> 01:12:41,055 Engage. 1230 01:12:41,088 --> 01:12:42,657 Winner. 1231 01:12:42,689 --> 01:12:44,024 Engage. 1232 01:12:44,057 --> 01:12:45,426 Tie. 1233 01:12:45,460 --> 01:12:46,728 Engage. 1234 01:12:46,761 --> 01:12:48,096 Tie. 1235 01:12:48,128 --> 01:12:49,797 Engage. 1236 01:12:49,831 --> 01:12:51,699 Winner. 1237 01:12:51,733 --> 01:12:53,869 He's done it and the BuckFutters are through 1238 01:12:53,902 --> 01:12:54,935 to the semi-finals. 1239 01:12:54,969 --> 01:12:57,939 Move on to the semi-final. 1240 01:12:57,971 --> 01:13:02,476 Here we come! Monk, we are coming for you! 1241 01:13:02,510 --> 01:13:05,079 But it's not over yet. So don't forget sports fans 1242 01:13:05,113 --> 01:13:07,481 to join us back here tomorrow where, 1243 01:13:07,515 --> 01:13:10,952 one lucky team will be crowned, the RPS King. 1244 01:13:10,984 --> 01:13:14,856 Good night everyone. 1245 01:13:16,157 --> 01:13:19,862 You know a fucking monkey could do his job. 1246 01:13:21,863 --> 01:13:25,833 I feel like I'm talking to my cell phone here sometimes. 1247 01:13:26,667 --> 01:13:30,604 Could we actually hire somebody that has some talent? 1248 01:13:30,637 --> 01:13:32,715 I can't believe you dropped those papers on that guy like 1249 01:13:32,739 --> 01:13:34,108 that. That was insane. 1250 01:13:34,141 --> 01:13:36,845 Well, save your insanity for tomorrow night. 1251 01:13:36,877 --> 01:13:38,557 You're going to need it when you face Monk. 1252 01:13:39,546 --> 01:13:40,546 Yeah, that's funny. 1253 01:13:41,983 --> 01:13:44,985 I'm being serious. 1254 01:13:45,019 --> 01:13:47,722 I can't believe I'm going to say this. 1255 01:13:47,755 --> 01:13:51,626 If we make it to the finals, you're our anchor. You got Monk. 1256 01:13:51,658 --> 01:13:54,829 Logan, You've been in this the whole time just to beat Monk. 1257 01:13:54,863 --> 01:13:56,874 Don't you think I know that. Don't you think I'd love to 1258 01:13:56,898 --> 01:13:59,801 defeat that arrogant prick. 1259 01:13:59,833 --> 01:14:04,005 But the fact is he knows me, knows how too beat me. 1260 01:14:04,037 --> 01:14:06,240 He's counting on facing me in the finals. 1261 01:14:06,274 --> 01:14:09,010 But, he's never faced him, doesn't know him. 1262 01:14:09,042 --> 01:14:12,480 And let's face it. Anyone who throws paper six times 1263 01:14:12,514 --> 01:14:15,484 in a row and wins might actually scare him. 1264 01:14:15,516 --> 01:14:17,228 But what's to stop him from just playing you 1265 01:14:17,252 --> 01:14:19,020 when you step up to the table? 1266 01:14:19,052 --> 01:14:22,189 He can't. For the finals you have to submit your team roster 1267 01:14:22,222 --> 01:14:24,826 in the order they play before the match begins 1268 01:14:24,859 --> 01:14:27,028 that way you can't jockey around players trying to gain 1269 01:14:27,060 --> 01:14:28,563 an advantage. 1270 01:14:28,595 --> 01:14:32,233 That's right. I'll tell you what. If I know Monk, 1271 01:14:32,266 --> 01:14:36,204 it's really going to piss him off. Now get some sleep. 1272 01:14:46,046 --> 01:14:47,581 Don't worry about it. 1273 01:14:47,614 --> 01:14:49,583 You did a great job out there today. 1274 01:14:49,617 --> 01:14:50,886 Didn't lose a set. 1275 01:14:50,918 --> 01:14:51,920 I had a good teacher. 1276 01:14:51,953 --> 01:14:54,957 Fucking right you did. 1277 01:14:58,960 --> 01:15:00,828 Listen Kel, I never did thank you for 1278 01:15:00,862 --> 01:15:04,132 getting us this far. You know, for getting us here. 1279 01:15:04,164 --> 01:15:08,302 I've been picked on my entire life, my entire life. I've been 1280 01:15:08,336 --> 01:15:12,774 the dumb kid, fat kid, the useless fuck 1281 01:15:12,806 --> 01:15:15,076 at the end of the bench. 1282 01:15:15,109 --> 01:15:17,679 I never had anyone pull through for me before like 1283 01:15:17,712 --> 01:15:20,615 you have. So thanks. 1284 01:15:20,648 --> 01:15:22,851 You're a great friend, Fritz. 1285 01:15:22,884 --> 01:15:25,287 You looked out for Cheddar. You looked out for Rerun. 1286 01:15:25,319 --> 01:15:27,255 You looked out for me. 1287 01:15:27,287 --> 01:15:28,889 I guess we make a pretty good team, huh? 1288 01:15:28,922 --> 01:15:29,922 Yeah. 1289 01:15:33,860 --> 01:15:36,197 You really think we can win tomorrow? 1290 01:15:36,229 --> 01:15:38,198 Don't know. 1291 01:15:38,231 --> 01:15:40,100 Monk's team is pretty solid and of course they 1292 01:15:40,134 --> 01:15:43,203 have Einstein so I don't even think Logan 1293 01:15:43,237 --> 01:15:45,806 has a chance there. 1294 01:15:45,840 --> 01:15:48,043 What about Monk? 1295 01:15:49,077 --> 01:15:50,110 Ow! 1296 01:15:50,144 --> 01:15:52,814 Son of a bitch Jordan what the fuck? 1297 01:15:52,846 --> 01:15:57,184 Anus? Miss me? Think I was going to let you piss in my 1298 01:15:57,984 --> 01:16:00,988 car, take my girl and walk away into the fucking sunset huh? 1299 01:16:01,021 --> 01:16:02,791 Yeah, that was kind of the plan. 1300 01:16:02,823 --> 01:16:05,125 Well, there's a new plan asshole. And it involves 1301 01:16:05,158 --> 01:16:07,728 using your mouth like you did my car seat. 1302 01:16:07,761 --> 01:16:10,831 Let him go, dickhead. 1303 01:16:10,864 --> 01:16:12,367 Oh shit. 1304 01:16:12,399 --> 01:16:14,001 I fucking hate that kid. 1305 01:16:14,034 --> 01:16:16,203 Seriously, all the guardian angels in the world and I 1306 01:16:16,237 --> 01:16:19,740 get the janitor? 1307 01:16:21,643 --> 01:16:24,145 Was that our fucking janitor? 1308 01:16:24,177 --> 01:16:27,082 I think that was. Fuck, dude, how's your hand? 1309 01:16:27,114 --> 01:16:30,985 Fucking kills. You mother fucking asshole! 1310 01:16:33,887 --> 01:16:36,256 We're screwed. We're screwed. We're screwed. 1311 01:16:52,206 --> 01:16:54,976 Good afternoon sports fans and welcome back. 1312 01:16:55,009 --> 01:16:58,712 Well, this is it. The final day, the coupe de gras. 1313 01:16:58,746 --> 01:17:03,184 Four teams remain, but soon, it will be down to two. 1314 01:17:03,216 --> 01:17:06,387 In pool A we have last year's runner up, Sonic Doom 1315 01:17:06,421 --> 01:17:09,423 against last year's champ, Team Nemesis. 1316 01:17:09,457 --> 01:17:13,828 And in pool B it's the Flying Fuks squaring off against 1317 01:17:13,860 --> 01:17:17,297 this year's Cinderella story The BuckFutters. 1318 01:17:17,331 --> 01:17:21,735 Bu if the BuckFutters are to remain and continue on, 1319 01:17:21,769 --> 01:17:23,880 they're going to have to overcome a few more obstacles 1320 01:17:23,904 --> 01:17:28,042 as we have just learned Fritz Flaherty has sustained 1321 01:17:28,076 --> 01:17:30,744 an injury to his right hand for further news on this 1322 01:17:30,778 --> 01:17:33,748 let's throw it over to Jelly Kane, Jelly. 1323 01:17:33,780 --> 01:17:38,219 Thank you Case. Fritz Flowerty is hurt very bad and it 1324 01:17:38,252 --> 01:17:42,090 will be difficult for him to play with this hand. However, 1325 01:17:42,122 --> 01:17:46,260 he will be able to play with this hand. As you know that 1326 01:17:47,060 --> 01:17:52,232 is a near impossibility in this sport back to you Case. 1327 01:17:52,265 --> 01:17:56,236 Well, thank you Jelly. The stage is set and the stakes are high. 1328 01:17:56,270 --> 01:18:00,108 So grab a seat folks and settle in because tonight 1329 01:18:00,140 --> 01:18:02,242 promises to be a barn burner. 1330 01:18:04,479 --> 01:18:06,847 Jesus Christ! You can barely move it. 1331 01:18:06,881 --> 01:18:08,258 How are you going to compete with that? 1332 01:18:08,282 --> 01:18:11,953 I don't know, but we're not forfeiting. 1333 01:18:11,985 --> 01:18:15,256 God damn right we're not forfeiting. Fuck. 1334 01:18:15,288 --> 01:18:18,059 We're not going to win either. Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, 1335 01:18:18,091 --> 01:18:20,327 Fuck! 1336 01:18:20,360 --> 01:18:23,698 Fuck! 1337 01:18:26,100 --> 01:18:29,471 Come on. Let's get this over with. Fuck! 1338 01:18:42,783 --> 01:18:46,220 Players ready. 1339 01:18:46,887 --> 01:18:50,125 Engage. 1340 01:18:52,326 --> 01:18:55,395 Scissorella takes the first set, and the Monk is simply 1341 01:18:55,429 --> 01:18:58,833 beside himself. As Nemesis finds themselves down for the 1342 01:18:58,865 --> 01:19:02,103 first time in the tournament. So sit tight and hook up those 1343 01:19:02,136 --> 01:19:05,140 colostomy bags sports fans cause here we go. 1344 01:19:06,106 --> 01:19:09,144 Engage. 1345 01:19:10,877 --> 01:19:13,380 Look at this freak of nature tear his opponent apart 1346 01:19:13,413 --> 01:19:15,849 as he stays unbeaten and brings Nemesis from the brink 1347 01:19:15,882 --> 01:19:20,188 of elimination. 1348 01:19:20,488 --> 01:19:22,524 And Dread ties it up! 1349 01:19:22,556 --> 01:19:24,992 Leaving their fate in the hands of the one 1350 01:19:25,025 --> 01:19:27,961 and only monk. 1351 01:19:27,994 --> 01:19:28,996 Winner. 1352 01:19:29,029 --> 01:19:31,198 He wins it again folks and this underdog crowd 1353 01:19:31,231 --> 01:19:35,403 here, does not look happy. 1354 01:19:47,381 --> 01:19:50,051 It was him. He brought Jordan here. 1355 01:19:50,083 --> 01:19:52,353 That bald fuck busted my hand! 1356 01:19:56,423 --> 01:19:57,891 Winner. 1357 01:20:05,932 --> 01:20:09,069 It doesn't look good folks after a terrific start by Logan 1358 01:20:09,103 --> 01:20:12,073 Carter the BuckFutters are in a hole that keeps getting bigger 1359 01:20:12,105 --> 01:20:15,309 as the three-fingered assassin is shredding through the one 1360 01:20:15,342 --> 01:20:18,246 handed Flaherty. Is it paper? Is it scissors? 1361 01:20:18,279 --> 01:20:19,848 I have no idea. 1362 01:20:19,881 --> 01:20:21,382 Winner. 1363 01:20:21,414 --> 01:20:23,217 Oh, and apparently, neither does Flaherty 1364 01:20:23,251 --> 01:20:25,453 as the BuckFutters find themselves, once again, 1365 01:20:25,485 --> 01:20:28,555 on the edge of elimination with the rookie sensation 1366 01:20:28,588 --> 01:20:30,925 and weakest link still to go. 1367 01:20:30,957 --> 01:20:33,161 No way. Kelvin, you're next. 1368 01:20:33,194 --> 01:20:34,403 I thought you wanted me to the anchor? 1369 01:20:34,427 --> 01:20:36,331 Yes, but that was until it was down two to one. 1370 01:20:36,363 --> 01:20:38,608 We lose, we go home and there's nothing for you to fucking 1371 01:20:38,632 --> 01:20:41,269 anchor then, is there? Hence, you're up. 1372 01:20:41,301 --> 01:20:42,402 I can't go last. 1373 01:20:42,436 --> 01:20:44,481 And I can't give myself a decent blowjob but that doesn't 1374 01:20:44,505 --> 01:20:46,074 stop me from trying now, does it? 1375 01:20:46,106 --> 01:20:47,074 God, I hope so. 1376 01:20:47,108 --> 01:20:49,476 Look, you just worry about winning right now. 1377 01:20:49,510 --> 01:20:52,413 And you get ready for when he wins. Now come on get 1378 01:20:52,445 --> 01:20:54,414 in there. Let's do it. Come on, 1379 01:20:54,448 --> 01:20:56,951 Come on. 1380 01:20:56,984 --> 01:21:00,121 Players ready. 1381 01:21:00,154 --> 01:21:02,223 Engage. 1382 01:21:02,256 --> 01:21:03,224 Scissors. 1383 01:21:03,256 --> 01:21:04,224 Engage. 1384 01:21:04,257 --> 01:21:05,225 Win. 1385 01:21:05,259 --> 01:21:07,095 Engage. 1386 01:21:07,127 --> 01:21:09,162 Paper. 1387 01:21:11,332 --> 01:21:13,434 Rerun it's all up to you now, ok. We take this and 1388 01:21:13,466 --> 01:21:14,510 we're in the finals. You got it? 1389 01:21:14,534 --> 01:21:15,368 I can't do this. 1390 01:21:15,403 --> 01:21:18,106 Pull it together. Gotta do this. Okay 1391 01:21:18,139 --> 01:21:20,240 I can't, you guys. I can't. 1392 01:21:20,274 --> 01:21:21,409 Well hold on folks. 1393 01:21:21,442 --> 01:21:24,578 There seems to be something wrong with the BuckFutters 1394 01:21:24,612 --> 01:21:28,983 last player. Seems that the infamous pressure of 1395 01:21:29,015 --> 01:21:32,252 the RPS semi-final has taken yet another victim. 1396 01:21:32,286 --> 01:21:33,520 He can't even move. 1397 01:21:33,554 --> 01:21:34,489 Then we fuckin' carry him there. 1398 01:21:34,521 --> 01:21:36,323 We put him up there like this, it's over. 1399 01:21:36,356 --> 01:21:38,326 Well, we got to do something. 1400 01:21:38,359 --> 01:21:41,930 Come on, ideas. 1401 01:21:41,962 --> 01:21:43,264 Kelvin. 1402 01:21:43,296 --> 01:21:47,067 Come on. Come on. 1403 01:21:49,069 --> 01:21:54,041 Rerun. Rerun. Rerun. Rerun. 1404 01:21:54,074 --> 01:21:57,377 Rerun. Rerun. Rerun. Rerun. 1405 01:21:57,411 --> 01:22:01,381 Rerun. Rerun. Rerun. Rerun. 1406 01:22:01,414 --> 01:22:05,452 Rerun. Rerun. Rerun. Rerun. 1407 01:22:10,658 --> 01:22:14,663 Rerun. Rerun. Rerun. Rerun. 1408 01:22:22,269 --> 01:22:23,237 You hear that? 1409 01:22:23,270 --> 01:22:24,405 Yeah. 1410 01:22:24,438 --> 01:22:25,682 That's your name. They're cheering for you out there. 1411 01:22:25,706 --> 01:22:27,007 They're cheering for you. 1412 01:22:27,041 --> 01:22:28,009 Yeah. 1413 01:22:28,042 --> 01:22:29,010 - You hear me? - Yeah. 1414 01:22:29,042 --> 01:22:30,120 Alright, now this is it, alright? There's no 1415 01:22:30,144 --> 01:22:33,280 stopping now! You start, and you don't stop. All your 1416 01:22:33,314 --> 01:22:35,516 strength. All your power! All your love! 1417 01:22:35,548 --> 01:22:36,984 - Everything you've got! - Yeah. 1418 01:22:37,018 --> 01:22:39,119 To win you got to knock him out! Punch and punch 1419 01:22:39,153 --> 01:22:40,263 till you can't punch no more! 1420 01:22:40,287 --> 01:22:41,255 Okay! 1421 01:22:41,287 --> 01:22:42,255 This is your whole life here! 1422 01:22:42,288 --> 01:22:43,256 Yeah, Yeah! 1423 01:22:43,289 --> 01:22:47,162 Yeah! Come on! Come on! 1424 01:22:48,295 --> 01:22:49,262 Come on! 1425 01:22:49,296 --> 01:22:50,465 Players, ready. 1426 01:22:50,497 --> 01:22:53,067 Engage. 1427 01:22:53,100 --> 01:22:54,702 Win, Engage. 1428 01:22:54,734 --> 01:22:57,270 Tie, Engage. 1429 01:22:57,304 --> 01:22:59,007 Engage. 1430 01:22:59,039 --> 01:23:02,042 Winner. 1431 01:23:02,076 --> 01:23:03,219 Well I've got to tell you folks, 1432 01:23:03,243 --> 01:23:06,079 in all my years of broadcasting I've never 1433 01:23:06,113 --> 01:23:09,417 seen anything like this. If you can appreciate a cinderella 1434 01:23:09,449 --> 01:23:13,688 story, if you believe in miracles, if you ever want to 1435 01:23:13,720 --> 01:23:17,224 see David face the mighty Goliath, then don't move 1436 01:23:17,257 --> 01:23:21,095 a muscle. Because in mere moments perhaps the greatest 1437 01:23:21,127 --> 01:23:24,431 match in all of sport, Dare I say, all of the world is about 1438 01:23:24,465 --> 01:23:26,100 to unfold. 1439 01:23:26,132 --> 01:23:28,668 And so it begins. 1440 01:23:49,556 --> 01:23:51,192 Ladies and Gentleman. 1441 01:23:51,225 --> 01:23:52,602 Welcome to the Rock, Paper Scissors, 1442 01:23:52,626 --> 01:23:56,197 National Championship final round. Let's bring out our 1443 01:23:56,229 --> 01:23:59,399 finalist teams, Team Nemesis. 1444 01:24:09,176 --> 01:24:11,145 Team BuckFutters. 1445 01:24:21,454 --> 01:24:24,425 Logan, don't worry 1446 01:24:24,457 --> 01:24:26,693 I'll make this as painless as I possibly 1447 01:24:26,726 --> 01:24:31,398 can for you. If it gets that far. 1448 01:24:31,431 --> 01:24:33,501 See you in the fucking ring, Monk. 1449 01:24:33,533 --> 01:24:36,237 Let the final round begin. Take your positions. 1450 01:24:42,877 --> 01:24:47,582 Player one, please. 1451 01:24:54,921 --> 01:24:56,590 Wait a minute, what's going on? 1452 01:24:56,623 --> 01:24:58,225 He's supposed to be the anchor. 1453 01:24:58,259 --> 01:25:00,261 I said I'd see you in the ring, Monk. 1454 01:25:00,293 --> 01:25:02,329 Never said anything about playing you, mate. 1455 01:25:02,363 --> 01:25:04,565 I'm sorry Mr. Monk, but my list has Logan Carter 1456 01:25:04,597 --> 01:25:06,199 as the BuckFutters' lead off man. 1457 01:25:06,233 --> 01:25:07,502 No he's supposed to play me! 1458 01:25:07,534 --> 01:25:09,436 Mr. Monk, my list says otherwise. Now step back. 1459 01:25:09,470 --> 01:25:13,240 Walk away. Move on. Bye bye. 1460 01:25:13,274 --> 01:25:16,377 Players. 1461 01:25:16,409 --> 01:25:20,514 Players ready. 1462 01:25:21,548 --> 01:25:22,750 Engage. 1463 01:25:23,783 --> 01:25:25,819 Rock. 1464 01:25:25,853 --> 01:25:29,890 Tie. Engage. 1465 01:25:29,923 --> 01:25:32,159 Tie. Engage. 1466 01:25:32,193 --> 01:25:32,994 Rock. 1467 01:25:33,027 --> 01:25:34,561 Round one goes to the BuckFutters. 1468 01:25:34,595 --> 01:25:37,865 And just like that the ghost of RPS past flies in 1469 01:25:37,898 --> 01:25:42,737 and handily takes the first set away with a crushing blow. 1470 01:25:43,002 --> 01:25:44,838 Alright he is pissed. 1471 01:25:44,872 --> 01:25:47,708 Alright now we know monk is going last 1472 01:25:47,740 --> 01:25:50,411 let's hope to hell Einstein goes forth because 1473 01:25:50,444 --> 01:25:52,914 if I'm going to get beat it might as well go to a sure loss 1474 01:25:52,947 --> 01:25:56,384 so Cheddar, Rerun, one of you two has to win in order to 1475 01:25:56,417 --> 01:26:01,389 give Kelvin a shot, got it? Okay, let's do this. 1476 01:26:01,421 --> 01:26:03,723 One, two, three, BuckFutters! 1477 01:26:03,756 --> 01:26:05,393 Come on, Cheddar. Get him. Get 'em! 1478 01:26:05,426 --> 01:26:08,729 - Come on! - Come on, Cheddar. 1479 01:26:08,761 --> 01:26:10,597 Players ready. 1480 01:26:10,631 --> 01:26:11,631 Engage. 1481 01:26:13,367 --> 01:26:15,735 Scissors. Engage. 1482 01:26:15,769 --> 01:26:18,739 Paper. Engage. 1483 01:26:18,771 --> 01:26:21,742 Scissors. Engage. 1484 01:26:21,774 --> 01:26:22,809 Paper. 1485 01:26:22,842 --> 01:26:24,412 Round two goes to Nemesis. 1486 01:26:24,444 --> 01:26:25,445 Nemesis fights back 1487 01:26:25,479 --> 01:26:27,280 and the youngest player in the tournament gets 1488 01:26:27,314 --> 01:26:30,384 paper slapped all the way back to a 1-1 tie, 1489 01:26:30,417 --> 01:26:33,655 with three to go. 1490 01:26:34,787 --> 01:26:35,956 Players ready. 1491 01:26:35,989 --> 01:26:37,291 Engage. 1492 01:26:37,323 --> 01:26:40,527 Rock. Engage. 1493 01:26:40,560 --> 01:26:42,563 Scissors. Engage. 1494 01:26:42,595 --> 01:26:44,364 Scissors, engage. 1495 01:26:44,398 --> 01:26:48,769 Scissors, round goes to Team Nemesis. 1496 01:26:48,801 --> 01:26:51,738 And here we go with the fate of the tournament riding 1497 01:26:51,771 --> 01:26:56,543 on the captain, Fritz Flaherty's damaged hand. 1498 01:26:56,577 --> 01:26:57,677 Sorry guys. 1499 01:26:57,712 --> 01:27:01,782 It's alright. You did your best. Hey we all did, okay. 1500 01:27:01,814 --> 01:27:03,783 Come on, guys, this is retarded. 1501 01:27:03,817 --> 01:27:06,654 We made it to the finals okay. And if I'm going to 1502 01:27:06,686 --> 01:27:08,665 lose I'm glad it's to that unstoppable bastard over 1503 01:27:08,689 --> 01:27:12,326 there who doesn't even know he's screwing us. 1504 01:27:12,359 --> 01:27:15,329 Now what's it going to be captain? Do we forfeit? 1505 01:27:15,362 --> 01:27:17,273 Or do you wanna go down with the ship left handed? 1506 01:27:17,297 --> 01:27:18,599 You're a fucking genius. 1507 01:27:18,631 --> 01:27:23,570 Well thank you but, down with the ship it is. 1508 01:27:28,708 --> 01:27:30,810 Players ready. 1509 01:27:30,844 --> 01:27:33,681 Let's get retarded. 1510 01:27:34,715 --> 01:27:37,318 Ow! 1511 01:27:37,350 --> 01:27:38,618 Oh my god! 1512 01:27:38,652 --> 01:27:41,355 Players four, Team Nemesis red card disqualification. 1513 01:27:41,387 --> 01:27:43,500 There's no ship going down! There's no ship going down! 1514 01:27:43,524 --> 01:27:45,035 Ladies and gentlemen, I don't believe it. 1515 01:27:45,059 --> 01:27:48,829 The Undefeated Nemesis Juggernaut James Copeland 1516 01:27:48,862 --> 01:27:52,033 has just been red-carded out of here for a spectacular, 1517 01:27:52,065 --> 01:27:55,001 right hook. Flaherty is up and he looks all right. 1518 01:27:55,034 --> 01:27:56,537 You know you're nuts, right? 1519 01:27:56,569 --> 01:27:58,706 Now go kick his ass. 1520 01:27:58,738 --> 01:28:03,744 So it's come down to this. One set, one match, one destiny. 1521 01:28:03,978 --> 01:28:08,783 A virtual unknown taking on the most decorated athlete in. 1522 01:28:08,815 --> 01:28:13,420 RPS history. Could David defeat the mighty Goliath again? 1523 01:28:14,421 --> 01:28:18,025 Well we're about to find out. 1524 01:28:27,100 --> 01:28:28,068 Players ready. 1525 01:28:28,101 --> 01:28:30,070 Five kids no job is pressure, 1526 01:28:30,104 --> 01:28:31,405 but this is close. 1527 01:28:31,438 --> 01:28:33,940 Engage. 1528 01:28:33,974 --> 01:28:36,577 Paper. Engage. 1529 01:28:36,609 --> 01:28:40,414 Paper. Engage. 1530 01:28:41,148 --> 01:28:42,882 Scissors. 1531 01:28:42,916 --> 01:28:45,886 It's the dreaded paper cut. 1532 01:28:45,918 --> 01:28:48,655 Engage. 1533 01:28:48,689 --> 01:28:52,560 Scissors. 1534 01:28:53,594 --> 01:28:57,765 It's time to lose Mr. Anus. 1535 01:28:59,432 --> 01:29:00,634 One more, one more. 1536 01:29:00,667 --> 01:29:04,405 Players ready. 1537 01:29:08,475 --> 01:29:12,480 Sorry to disappoint you Monk, but I've already won. 1538 01:29:21,755 --> 01:29:24,158 You know it's funny sometimes how things work out. 1539 01:29:24,190 --> 01:29:25,158 Engage. 1540 01:29:25,192 --> 01:29:27,994 How you could overcome pretty much anything. 1541 01:29:28,028 --> 01:29:31,432 Sometimes in the most unlikeliest ways. 1542 01:29:31,465 --> 01:29:34,402 Even when caught between a hard place... 1543 01:29:34,435 --> 01:29:36,070 and a rock. 1544 01:29:36,103 --> 01:29:38,005 Rock wins! 1545 01:29:39,706 --> 01:29:42,476 Rock beats scissors!! It's all over! 1546 01:29:42,509 --> 01:29:46,012 It's all over and just like the bible tells me so, 1547 01:29:46,046 --> 01:29:49,750 little David topples the mighty Goliath with the casting 1548 01:29:49,783 --> 01:29:54,054 of a single stone. Unbelievable. Unbelievable. 1549 01:29:54,087 --> 01:29:58,826 Yeah baby, we did it! Woohoo! Yes! 1550 01:30:04,131 --> 01:30:07,468 That is what the fuck I am talking about! Yes! 1551 01:30:13,474 --> 01:30:16,610 Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! 1552 01:30:17,211 --> 01:30:20,748 Never trust anyone, huh? This is it. 1553 01:30:32,559 --> 01:30:37,565 Now somebody get me to a fucking buffet! Yeah! Wooh! 1554 01:30:59,853 --> 01:31:01,188 Well, you did it, dude. 1555 01:31:01,220 --> 01:31:03,756 Uh, uh. We did it. 1556 01:31:03,789 --> 01:31:04,968 You know, we're going to miss you when 1557 01:31:04,992 --> 01:31:06,032 you go to Amsterdam right? 1558 01:31:06,059 --> 01:31:08,195 Yeah, well I was thinking maybe 1559 01:31:08,228 --> 01:31:09,663 I'd stick around for a little bit, 1560 01:31:09,695 --> 01:31:10,663 - Really? - Yeah. 1561 01:31:10,697 --> 01:31:11,664 Hey Fritz. 1562 01:31:11,698 --> 01:31:13,234 Hey. 1563 01:31:13,266 --> 01:31:16,103 Um, I forgot. I have to pick up my little sister from dance 1564 01:31:16,136 --> 01:31:19,039 class at 7 tonight would you mind coming 1565 01:31:19,072 --> 01:31:21,041 by around 8 o'clock instead? 1566 01:31:21,073 --> 01:31:23,743 8 is fine. Eight is great. 1567 01:31:23,777 --> 01:31:26,514 Eight is Enough. Eight o'cock-clock, 1568 01:31:27,547 --> 01:31:28,615 Okay. 1569 01:31:28,649 --> 01:31:29,925 Don't forget to bring your guitar. 1570 01:31:29,949 --> 01:31:31,719 Okay. 1571 01:31:31,752 --> 01:31:32,720 - Okay. - See ye. 1572 01:31:32,752 --> 01:31:34,721 - See ya. - Bye. 1573 01:31:37,090 --> 01:31:38,993 Dude what the hell was that? 1574 01:31:39,025 --> 01:31:40,226 What? It was nothing. 1575 01:31:40,260 --> 01:31:41,662 You can't play guitar. 1576 01:31:41,694 --> 01:31:43,229 Wait a minute. Last summer at 1577 01:31:43,262 --> 01:31:46,199 your uncle's place. He's the musician, right? 1578 01:31:46,233 --> 01:31:49,770 Oh my god. That first day of school? They broke 1579 01:31:49,802 --> 01:31:51,838 your guitar. Did you learn how to. Play for her? 1580 01:31:51,872 --> 01:31:52,907 No. 1581 01:31:52,939 --> 01:31:56,609 Uh-huh. Well, try not to use this one as a belt. 1582 01:31:56,643 --> 01:31:59,279 Well done, man. Well done. 1583 01:31:59,313 --> 01:32:01,315 You're all gonna be well done when I fuck the shit 1584 01:32:01,347 --> 01:32:04,251 out of everyone. 1585 01:32:04,283 --> 01:32:05,985 God that felt good. 1586 01:32:06,019 --> 01:32:07,988 Dude, That was hot. 1587 01:32:08,020 --> 01:32:09,098 You should see her in my dreams. 1588 01:32:09,122 --> 01:32:11,091 No I didn't. 1589 01:32:11,123 --> 01:32:14,761 Hey, so am I going to see online tonight? 1590 01:32:14,795 --> 01:32:18,164 Um, I don't know I was thinking we'd take a night off today. 1591 01:32:18,198 --> 01:32:19,967 You know do something else. 1592 01:32:20,000 --> 01:32:21,268 What'd you have in mind? 1593 01:32:21,301 --> 01:32:24,872 I don't know something like this. 1594 01:32:29,042 --> 01:32:32,280 I'll see you tonight. Bye boys. 1595 01:32:35,916 --> 01:32:39,153 Ooh. 1596 01:32:39,619 --> 01:32:41,988 Alright, So what are we gonna do about this guy? 1597 01:32:42,021 --> 01:32:45,658 I got an idea. Somebody get my camera. 1598 01:32:47,694 --> 01:32:49,730 Do it. 1599 01:32:49,762 --> 01:32:52,899 Oh, don't do it. Oh, God. 1600 01:32:54,100 --> 01:32:56,135 Oh, his mouth is open. 1601 01:32:56,168 --> 01:32:57,304 God. 1602 01:32:57,337 --> 01:32:59,673 ♪ Got a lift down to the edge of town ♪ 1603 01:32:59,706 --> 01:33:01,976 ♪ Where the merry-go-around goes around and round ♪ 1604 01:33:02,009 --> 01:33:04,110 ♪ Way the sun shined on you face ♪ 1605 01:33:04,144 --> 01:33:06,680 ♪ Made me think of a different place ♪ 1606 01:33:06,712 --> 01:33:08,849 ♪ Sticks and stones may break your bones ♪ 1607 01:33:08,881 --> 01:33:11,085 ♪ But paper hearts always know ♪ 1608 01:33:11,118 --> 01:33:13,320 ♪ Teardrops are the friendly folds ♪ 1609 01:33:13,353 --> 01:33:15,922 ♪ Your heart is my stereo ♪ 1610 01:33:15,956 --> 01:33:18,960 ♪ Woo oh oh woo oh oh oh ♪ 1611 01:33:24,898 --> 01:33:27,134 ♪ Got you and I want you and your so damn funny ♪ 1612 01:33:27,167 --> 01:33:29,370 ♪ I go around town singing you're my hunny ♪ 1613 01:33:29,403 --> 01:33:31,805 ♪ Smile on your face is a shade of sunny ♪ 1614 01:33:31,837 --> 01:33:34,340 ♪ Your mine, all mine ♪ 1615 01:33:34,373 --> 01:33:36,342 ♪ Need you and I want and you want me back ♪ 1616 01:33:36,376 --> 01:33:38,846 ♪ Want you and you need me and you need me back ♪ 1617 01:33:38,878 --> 01:33:41,047 ♪ Need you, I want you and you want me back ♪ 1618 01:33:41,081 --> 01:33:44,085 ♪ I want you and you need me back ♪ 1619 01:33:47,688 --> 01:33:49,890 ♪ Got a lift down to the edge of town ♪ 1620 01:33:49,922 --> 01:33:52,225 ♪ Where we walked around till the sun went down ♪ 1621 01:33:52,259 --> 01:33:54,328 ♪ The way the moon shined on your face ♪ 1622 01:33:54,360 --> 01:33:56,896 ♪ Made me think of outer space ♪ 1623 01:33:56,930 --> 01:33:58,932 ♪ I don't know what you've been told ♪ 1624 01:33:58,965 --> 01:34:01,135 ♪ But your hands can break this fold ♪ 1625 01:34:01,167 --> 01:34:03,336 ♪ My paper heart is yours to hold ♪ 1626 01:34:03,369 --> 01:34:06,006 ♪ Feelin with your lovin soul ♪ 1627 01:34:06,038 --> 01:34:09,009 ♪ Whoa ah oh, Woo oh oh ♪ 1628 01:34:14,814 --> 01:34:16,849 ♪ We walked around till the sun went down ♪ 1629 01:34:16,882 --> 01:34:19,185 ♪ And it was right there, on the edge of town ♪ 1630 01:34:19,219 --> 01:34:21,387 ♪ You handed me that folded note ♪ 1631 01:34:21,421 --> 01:34:23,923 ♪ Kinda guessed what you already wrote ♪ 1632 01:34:23,957 --> 01:34:26,026 ♪ Paper hearts wrote the start ♪ 1633 01:34:26,059 --> 01:34:28,729 ♪ Songs fore me to sing ♪ 1634 01:34:32,431 --> 01:34:35,034 ♪ My paper heart is yours to keep ♪ 1635 01:34:35,068 --> 01:34:37,704 ♪ Now sing this song and keep that beat ♪ 1636 01:34:37,738 --> 01:34:40,374 ♪ My heart is your stereo ♪ 1637 01:34:40,407 --> 01:34:43,310 ♪ Now, please don't let it slow ♪ 1638 01:34:43,342 --> 01:34:46,813 ♪ Whoa ah oh Whoa ah ah oh ♪ 1639 01:34:52,819 --> 01:34:55,122 ♪ Got you and I want you and your so damn funny ♪ 1640 01:34:55,154 --> 01:34:57,423 ♪ I go around town singing you're my hunny ♪ 1641 01:34:57,457 --> 01:34:59,860 ♪ Smile on your face, is a shade of sunny ♪ 1642 01:34:59,893 --> 01:35:02,429 ♪ Your mine, all mine ♪ 1643 01:35:02,462 --> 01:35:04,465 ♪ Need you and I want and you want me back ♪ 1644 01:35:04,497 --> 01:35:07,067 ♪ I want you and you need me and you need me back ♪ 1645 01:35:07,100 --> 01:35:09,236 ♪ You love me and I love you and you love me back ♪ 1646 01:35:09,269 --> 01:35:13,274 ♪ I love you and you love me and I love you back ♪